Davids claims his penalty prize
Alas - the three weeks of football frenzy are at end.
Once again we must spend our evenings washing socks, doing the food shopping and cleaning the bathroom, rather than being parked in front of the telly or giant screen shouting like a maniac while sinking beverages on special promotion.
Still - while the memories are still fresh, let's send Euro 2004 off properly.
A heartfelt round of applause, please, for the following winners and losers:
A category rammed with class entries, all of whom are fit to inherit the mantle of the all-time greats.
Honourable mentions must go to the entire Greek midfield, not only for their overall falling-down consistency but also the sheer number of rolls each individual dive contained.
But, for the amount of daylight between his legs and any defender, Holland's Edgar Davids must get the nod for his spectacular collapse in the Latvian penalty area.
Sorry Croatia. It might seem unfair to beat you with the same stick at every international tournament, but red gingham should never be seen outside of a tablecloth.
There is a beauty in simplicity, as the Italians have demonstrated. And red and white checks isn't it.
Hats off to George Clooney for playing so well in goal for Greece.
Sure, he's flapped at a few crosses, but when you're trying to put together the finances for your next blockbuster, the last thing you need is your central defence leaving you to deal with high balls into the box.
A few people round here reckon Philip Cocu is a skinny Robbie Williams, while Bastian Schweinsteiger may once have been in boyband Phixx and Arjen Robben is probably Jonny Wilkinson's cousin.
But Clooniopolous is the clear winner.
Who can remember anything about their involvement except for the goalkeeper's ponytail, dead eyes and slate-grey face?
Did you know that Spain always fail to deliver at major championships?
You did? Right.
"Someone should be ashamed, and it's not us,"
carped Gianluigi Buffon after Italy crashed out in the group stages following the 2-2 draw between Sweden and Denmark.
Look, there are more than 20 words in Italian for "fix", and not a single one on Swedish. That's all you need to know.
And as for that penalty spot nonsense from the England boys - didn't seem to do Portugal too much harm, did it?
The only way Bastian Schweinsteiger could sound any more German would be if you inserted a "von" between his first and second names.
Then there's his team-mate. The following conversation was heard at a pre-Tour de France news conference:
"Yes, I'll be riding my new space-age bike this year - it has a carbon frame and forks made from torsten-frings."
Luis Figo's run and shot-onto-post against Holland was pretty special, as was Tomas Rosicky's volley onto the bar after three minutes of the Czech Republic's semi with Greece.
Yet the nod must go to Rosicky's fellow midfielder Pavel Nedved for his outrageous run-plus-spank-onto-crossbar against the Dutch in that 3-2 thriller.
What a goal that would have been - except it wasn't.
WORST PIECE OF TV DIRECTION
Ronaldo's taken the corner short, you say? To Maniche?
Nah, I wouldn't bother showing that. He's never going to do anything from ther..... oh.
MOST OVER-RATED PLAYER
A Real easy one. That's Real with the big "R", in case you thought that was a typing error.
Anyway. The joke's poor. But then so were Raul, Beckham, Zidane (except the free-kick) and Figo (other than the semi-final).
THE SAMPSON MEMORIAL AWARD
He has long hair, he's a world-beater. He has it all cut off, and he's rubbish.
Fernando Torres, you've been Delilahed.