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Remember that the true defender of God's cause always stands before the world, seemingly overmatched
Enforced disappearance of a loved one is like being hit by a whirlwind. (Image: Unsplash)
By Edita Tronqued-Burgos | Philippines
Most families of victims of enforced disappearance become aware of abductions only when it happens to a member of their family or to a friend.
While they may have read or heard about people being disappeared, the knowledge would remain in the periphery of their consciousness and they would usually not give it much thought. They are unprepared for what to expect and how to cope. I can say this is true for both the least and the most educated among us. I am particularly speaking about myself and my relatives.
The best way to describe this kind of victimhood is that it is like being hit by a whirlwind. It gives you the feeling of being buffeted from all sides.
Internally, we are confronted with the uncertainty of the whereabouts and fate of our disappeared, feelings of guilt for not being able to do anything, and anxiety at the thought that our missing loved one is being tortured.
Externally, we receive contradicting counsel which contribute to the bewilderment.
There are those who advise us to keep quiet and refrain from inviting the ire of the perpetrators as that could make them torture the disappeared even more.
Others advise families to be as visible as possible in the media to solicit support and to forewarn the perpetrators. Conflicting advice and the anger within, compounded by a feeling of helplessness, result in paralysis.
Initially, there is a kind of numbness that prevents your rational faculties acting decisively and, worse, you succumb to a continuing distress that distorts one's sense of judgment. These reactions originate from the unknown, which ranges from legal matters to dealing with the military.
At this state of vulnerability, those who provide refuge and protection play significant roles, which could even mean the difference between going into depression or keeping a sane, balanced state.
Among those that play such critical roles are those who provide paralegal and legal, financial, moral and spiritual support. The support, however, is not always immediately available for the families.
The greatest number of victims of enforced disappearance come from poor, rural families.
And it goes without saying that, in the Philippines, those who belong to this sector cannot afford to hire a lawyer or have the means to pursue the search actively. Often it is the lawyer or the NGOs who shoulder the expenses that go into filing cases.
On a personal note, it was our lawyers who were first to dig into their pockets.
Aside from the legal assistance, lawyers, defenders and advocates can provide the support that is most needed when the victims' families are at their lowest point in life.
They boost the capacity of the victims so that they are not only defended but also empowered to extricate themselves from whatever debilitating state they are in and to assume an active role in pursuing the truth and search for the missing.
How many times have I witnessed fellow mothers who were spoken to in a condescending manner by officers in uniform and, on such occasions, could not help but quietly seethe in anger? This should not be so.
The relatives of the disappeared should be able to assume a superior position if only they are aware of the truth that the disappeared were far more superior in their selflessness. These people who tend to demean cannot even do the same if challenged.
Both the lawyers and human rights defenders are in the best position to empower the victims' relatives because they are not only credible and knowledgeable but they also dedicate their lives, albeit in a different manner, just as our disappeared did.
As we unravel the truth about what the victim was engaged in that earned the ire of the perpetrators, we can look deeper into the heart of that victim.
There, one could see the desire to reform an unjust system. There, one might discover that the victim offered his all, even his life, for others.
This is the truth that we can share with the families. This knowledge would help them rebuke the demonization peddled by the perpetrators to cover up the crime.
It is always difficult for some relatives to talk about what their relative was engaged in.
The truth brings embarrassment because they are not able to completely comprehend why the victim did what they did.
Only when they look at their motives is it easier to ask, "Are they more Christian than our loved ones?" If we help them gain a better understanding, then this evil can be confronted. They will no longer be fearful or embarrassed.
In trying to understand why my son Jonas became a victim, it dawned on me that these people, the victims of enforced disappearances, lived such selfless lives that by their existence they forced us to reflect on our own lives, our own values — a scrutiny that some cannot endure, especially if they are in uniform.
By living the way they did, these victims demonstrated what our supposed leaders regrettably lack. These leaders claim to be protectors of a nation they themselves have victimized.
Human rights defenders — be they lawyers, paralegal workers, sociologists, volunteers, advocates or victims turned defenders — have the responsibility not only to defend people's rights but also to convince society that they have the truth and this should not be ignored.
At times when the opposition seems so huge and daunting, it would be wise to recall how small David was standing before the giant Goliath.
Remember that the true defender of God's cause always stands before the world, seemingly overmatched. The world knows now that victory belonged not to the giant but to the child. The child who spent countless hours of practice.
Long before we go to the battlefield, we need to spend countless hours preparing too, and one crucial way to do so is through prayer.
Edita Tronqued-Burgos is a doctor of education and a member of the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites. Gunmen believed to be soldiers abducted her son Jonas Burgos in Manila in April 2007. He is still missing.
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