en en en en en en en en en en hbs_lat en en en en nl en en en en pt it en en en en id en en en en en en en en ceb en it en en en en en en en en en en en en nl de en en en en en uz en en en en en en en en en eu en en en en en en en en en en en en en es en es en en en en en en en en en uk en en en en en fr en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en es en en en en it en en it en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en vi pt en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en el en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en vi fr en en en en en ru en en fr en en en en en en en en en en en en pl en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en eo en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en en hbs_lat en en pl en en en en en en vi en en en en en vi en en en en en en en
Embrace visits from people who maybe thought you’d died and want to be sure you hadn’t. - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty
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The Healing Ways I Slayed My Recovery From Fibroid Surgery
Apr. 17, 2019 08:58AM EST
Like millions of black women around the world, I've struggled with managing fibroids. And after successfully changing my diet and eliminating stress triggers, I had to make the tough decision to go under the knife for a myomectomy.
Five days out of surgery and 41 days into recovery, I was relieved but quite depressed and miserable.
I did a lot of thinking and soul-searching in that short period of time, reflecting on major moments from the past three years of my life: running a successful consultancy, living in Jamaica for 30 days, traveling to Ghana with a client, losing two jobs--and my sanity--and meeting the love of my life.
Related: How I Healed My Uterine Fibroids The Holistic Way
Add to that the recent removal of nine tumors from my womb and a C-section-like scar without the baby to show for it, and you've got a nice Netflix rom-com on your hands.
I was hell-bent on using the time of bedrest and healing constructively, so, in an effort to cut the whining, loathing and feelings of utter inconvenient annoyance, I offer the following tips for at least slaying those feelings with a bit of delusion and positive thinking. Oh, and these ain't your Granny's get-well tips:
Replace thoughts of fear, disfigurement and further complications with Netflix binging, meditation and gratitude.
I've never, in my life, had to have any sort of surgery or be admitted into a hospital. Since fibroids crashed my 35th birthday, I've had two blood transfusions, two lengthy stays in the surgery prep area, two life-threatening visits to the ER, several panic attacks, and one too many days in the hospital for surgery and observation—all within a year.
I really don't do well with being sick and dealing with doctors and their medical possibilities. The whole idea of having a scar across my pelvic area, possibly having scar tissue, possibly having new tumors grow back, and possibly not being able to have a vaginal birth (if I am even able to possibly have a kid) has invited anxiety and depression to bang on my door.
To totally rebuke the nasty, utterly terrifying thoughts going through my head, I turned to prayer (thanks to my awesome sister who actually believes in the concept of "prayer warriors" and is fervent in consistently praying with and for me), Netflix series (gotta love a little Maisel and some thrilling crime docs), and my faith that God is in control. These trumped any doomful possibility any day.
Ignore the “Oh yeah, So-and-So went through the same thing back in ’83. You’ll be alright.”
I guess people who lack self-awareness don't see how annoying and a tad dismissive it is to immediately compare your hurt to someone else's.
I heal how I feel.
It's great to be able to relate to other women who've had the same or a similar procedure, but those who have never been through a myomectomy or any sort of surgery may have their self-awareness or sensitivity dials turned down to zero. They'll downplay your pain, question why you have to be out from work for so long, scrutinize you turning down that cheeseburger and fries while recovering, or ask intrusive questions about things that have nothing to do with ensuring your well-being or post-surgical peace. Earphones, selective hearing, and closing my eyes to fake sleep were my best friends in these cases. Get you some.
Surround yourself with elements or things that will make you smile.
After being in the hospital, I felt totally yucky. I'm a super-germaphobe, and I hated wearing that gown. (I could have brought pajamas for my stay, but did you miss the part about me being a germaphobe? I wanted nothing more than the sweats I came there wearing to be in contact with anything from the hospital.)
Pre-surgery, you can't use deodorant, lotions, or perfumes, so, again, I felt disgusting.
After I got home and was finally able to take a real shower, I put on my favorite lotion (along with sesame and coconut oil for my very dry skin after multiple wipes with that God-awful antibacterial liquid they put on you to prep for surgery.) I love Palmer's Moisturizing Body Oil and Bath & Body Works' Shea Butter lotion in Sweet Pea.
(Of course, I also made sure to follow doctor's orders in terms of cleaning my new birthmark—I mean, scar–with nothing but soap and water, patting it dry, and letting none of my good-smelling lotions or oils near it. Today, I still use the oil along with pure African shea butter on my scar, which has worked nicely. My doc--a black medical-industry phenom in her own right --did an amazing job making a clean and neat five-inch incision that will one day become a faint memory.)
My aunt brought me balloons (which I love, even at the ripe age of 36), and my grandmother kept flowers in my room.
When you get the strength, make use of your favorite Plug-in or vaporizer scent, wear a bright-colored scarf to keep your hair under wraps, or play your favorite music. Create a happy atmosphere.
Cliche? Yes, but go ahead and catch up on learning something new.
It took me hours to even figure out how to change the look and font for a new blog I started, but I did it. Oh, and those Netflix docs: I learned how gullible, gluttonous and wicked people could be via the Fyre Fest docs, how complex the whole issue of legalizing marijuana is via a California community that's apparently a hilly, murderous haven of marijuana farmers via Murder Mountain, and how to say hello and thank you in Russian via the Red Queen.
Seriously, take a few free courses, learn more about recovery methods and healthcare options for reproductive health, challenge yourself to daily writing exercises, or play a new game. Maybe knitting wasn't your thing before you had to go under the knife, but that crochet bikini or dress might look damn good on your next vacation!
Embrace visits from people who maybe thought you’d died and want to be sure you hadn’t.
OK, I'm being dramatic but it is refreshing to reconnect with family members you haven't spoken to in a while over stories about fertility, hospital stays and the best pain meds to take. I was truly blessed by it and was able to do something I'd been putting off doing for years: reconnecting with folk. Sometimes it takes a difficult situation to do that, but just thank God for the opportunity.
Enjoy the conversation and take in the love in whatever form it comes.
Dealing with fibroids can be one huge annoyance at best and an expensive health disaster at worst. but you can overcome and thrive through it all. Take it from me. I now smile and wink at the scar that serves as a reminder that I've joined millions of other badass women who survive and slay.
How I Healed My Uterine Fibroids The Holistic Way - Read More
3-Step Guide To Self-Healing - Read More
Healing: What Two Weeks In A Psychiatric Hospital Taught Me - Read More
I Tried Energy Healing & It Transformed My Life - Read More
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Janell Hazelwood, MAOL, is a journalist, speaker, editor, and consultant who has worked for companies including The New York Times, Black Enterprise, and Conde Nast. She is a proud HBCU journalism graduate and has served, for more than 15 years, as a journalist, editor, strategist and commentary writer. She also holds a master's degree in organizational leadership (MAOL) with a concentration in coaching, allowing her to pursue her ultimate goal as a lifelong servant leader to women professionals, entrepreneurs, and nonprofit founders.
What 14 People Say 'Great Sex' Means To Them
What is the difference between bad, average, and great sex? If I ask thirty people this question, I would get thirty different answers. As someone who's had their fair share of both good and not-so-good sex, I understand that there is no one size fits all answer to this question. "Great sex" can mean different things to different people. Case in point, I once had an amazing sexual experience with a guy that a mutual “friend” had a horrible experience with. Great sex is subjective AF! According to the mutual friend his sex was subpar at best. One person’s trash is another one’s treasure. Great sex boils down to what is good for you and your partner at the moment. No two people are the same so no two sexual experiences will be the same either.
Even though what constitutes great sex differs from person to person, there are some common denominators we all share. I find that most people need: honest communication, vulnerability, and chemistry regardless of age, sexual orientation, and relationship status for great sex to take place. Rarely are penis size and earth-shattering orgasms a determining factor of great sex. I know for me, the older I get the more I realize great sex is less about big dicks and more about chemistry and connection.
But you don’t have to take my word for it here’s what some of my social media followers had to say about what makes sex great for them.
"I can honestly say, for me, now that I’m older, great sex is based off of mental stimulation. If we aren’t able to obtain this, the sex is just okay."
"Chemistry/attraction, communication, skills, he needs to have rhythm in his hips and talk dirty, be dominant, and submit sometimes when I feel like being dominant. There needs to be some music going on in the background, eye contact, not be in a rush if it’s not a quickie, reciprocity, and adventurous. Be vocal, silent sex doesn’t do it for me, like what is this, a cemetery? Open your mouth and let those pleasure sounds out, hunny."
"Genuine chemistry. Yes, sex can still be bomb when someone checks off your physical boxes: big ass, tall, dad bod... Whatever makes your sex organs tingle. But when you actually like them AND they are good in bed, then it's greatness."
"When it feels like an effortless, sensual, passionate dance. When we flow seamlessly communicating without words with our bodies. The chemistry, connection, and attraction inside of the bedroom [are] only an extension of the feelings outside of the bedroom."
"Paying attention to my body, talking me through my orgasm, not just pounding blindly like I'm some kind of sex toy, taking time to make sure I'm satisfied, and flipping my big ass like I'm a gyatdamn pillow."
"Feeling free enough to act/try things in a non-judgmental environment. Openness to criticism or direction. Accepting not everyone is the same and not everything is enjoyed or not by everybody. Our experience is OURS. And what we like with each other we may not like [with] others. We have to find our wave."
"After being with my husband for 35 years (since 10th grade) and married for 23, intimacy is key. We take our time and really enjoy each other. I’m not only still in love with him, but I still LIKE him."
"A safe space, trust, emotional awareness, intimacy, vulnerability, knowing each other's love languages, open communication, chemistry, and paying attention to each other's bodies, wants, and desires in and out of the bedroom."
"Willingness to communicate and adjust even during the act. Don’t give excuses that you were so caught up in what was going on that you didn’t pay attention. Great sex also includes willingness to quit expecting to duplicate what you see in porn, especially when the other person says they’re not interested."
"Total connection...meaning you wrap yourself around me, in me...try to see through me. Experience me...let me Experience you...your sounds. Guttural, ancestral...your smell...your released...come undone."
"The transcendent feeling when the world stops around you, there's no sound but you two, and there is no longer a goal. The pleasure is so all-consuming you remember how powerful it can be to surrender."
"True intimacy. It’s something that happens naturally when people are kind to each other. Attentiveness to the body. Equal satisfaction (because men that don’t like eating coochie are not fair partners to me), great foreplay, great aftercare (I make my partner clean me up before I get up to do anything and I do the same at times)."
"You have to be comfortable with the person. Sex should be fun, exploring what feels good instead of what you think pleasure should look like. Taking your time. Folks are in such a hurry to get to it, they miss all the good stuff that makes getting there even better. It's not a race. Intimacy...in all its forms."
"Bravery. Vulnerability. Softness (from the dominant/masculine partner). Boldness (from the feminine/submissive partner). Actually LIKING who you are with. (I don’t mean chemistry. I mean actually LIKING the person). And communicating after leaving each other’s presence. I LOVE a good recap or something to let me know that it’s still lingering on you!"
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Halle Bailey On The Revolutionary Act Of Wearing Her Locs As Ariel
When the trailer for The Little Mermaid dropped, everyone finally got to see Halle Bailey as Ariel. Black women and girls raved over the singer/ actress’s beauty as the beloved character while she belted out the Disney classic song “Part of Your World.” And one of the most noticeable things that many fans pointed out was that the character’s red hair was made of locs.
Halle, who makes up one-half of the Grammy-nominated group Chloe x Halle, is known for sporting locs and has had them since prior to fame. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Halle shared that it was the director Rob Marshall’s idea to integrate some of her characteristics, such as her locs, into the character.
Teaser for ‘The Little Mermaid’ starring Halle Bailey debuts with over 104 million global views, Variety reports.
It beats out Cruella, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and Maleficent 2. pic.twitter.com/v2lSoMYib6
— Pop Base (@PopBase) September 12, 2022
​"With Rob, he's so amazing and just saying, 'I see you and I want to bring you into the character,'" she said. "So it was a beautiful thing. My hair, for example — incorporating my locs into the red hair was something that was really special to me. The outfit, the fins, everything. It's just amazing. I'm just grateful that I've been able to take the essence of me and mix the two."
Rob first teased the news that Halle’s hair will still be in locs as Ariel in an August 2022 Varietyinterview. “She looks stunning in red hair; not everybody does,” he said.
And many fans of the “Forgive Me” singer can agree. When the trailer dropped, there was an influx of reactions. While she has unfortunately received backlash for being cast as Ariel due to the color of her skin, there was also a lot of praise and support sent her way.
Tina Knowles Lawson shared an Instagram post with Halle and wrote a loving caption to the singer.
“I remember talking about her role as Ariel to the beautiful And Super talented @hallebailey on my show " Talks with Mama Tina,”" Tina wrote. “She and her beautiful sister @chloebailey .She spoke about the pressure of filling the shoes of past Little Mermaids Roles. Well we could not be more excited or proud of you as Ariel. You are changing our little black girls perspective on them being not limited to certain spaces and to be seen!!!! Kudos beautifulHalle.❤️❤️❤️
Legendary actress Halle Berry tweeted that she couldn’t wait to watch it.
this means so much! Can’t wait @HalleBailey 👏🏽💕💕 https://t.co/5swsRyjyne
— Halle Berry (@halleberry) September 10, 2022
And Chlöe showered her little sister with love in a series of tweets.
“MY BABYYYYY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” followed by 11 mermaid emojis.
MY BABYYYYY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏽‍♀️ https://t.co/2HvFOyOCvK
— Chlöe (@ChloeBailey) September 9, 2022
In the next tweet, she shared that she was “gonna cry” and lastly wrote “that’s my mfn sister. YUP.”
that’s my mfn sister. YUP.
— Chlöe (@ChloeBailey) September 10, 2022
The Little Mermaid - Official Teaser Trailer
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Featured image by Corey Nickols/Getty Images for IMDb
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5 Times Megan Thee Stallion & Pardison Fontaine Showed Their Love On The 'Gram
Another day, another photo of Megan Thee Stallion that went viral. But this time she had a little help from her boyfriend Pardison “Pardi” Fontaine. The “Pressurelicious” artist’s fans were in for a surprise a few days ago after Megan posted a photo of herself lying on the floor with her legs up and wrapped around Pardi’s waist. Pardi appeared to be focused on playing his video game while Meg’s derriere was tooted in the air but he managed to wrap his arms around it as he held the controller.
The hotties had a field day with this photo showing the couple’s playful side and some fans even posted themselves recreating the pose.
The Grammy award-winning rapper captioned the series of photos “📸Dump” which included another cute photo of the couple. They both made a silly face while taking a mirror pic this time. Meg confirmed that she was dating Pardi in February 2021 and since then they have broken the internet a few times with their adorable and sometimes risqué photos.
We’ve listed some of the couple’s viral moments on social media.
On Feb. 19, 2021, Pardi had everyone gushing over his Valentine’s Day surprise for his H-Town boo. The series of photos showed the “Backin’ It Up” emcee showering Meg with love, from a private jet to a room full of rose petals and balloons.
In March of that year, he posted a photo of the “Her” artist in bed wearing a bonnet and in the next photo, he is seen wearing the bonnet.
In celebration of their one-year anniversary, Megan shared (but later deleted) some naughty photos. In one photo, Pardi is drinking a cocktail from her butt.
The next one showed the 27-year-old squatting on the ground in front of Pardi while her face was pressed against his nether regions. Talk about spicy.
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Featured image by Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images for 40/40 Club
The Mamie 'Till' Movie Wants To Empower Us
Sitting in the theater getting ready to watch Nopefor the third time, I was excited, like a good film nerd, to see my friend's first-time reactions to the fun UFO horror-comedy. My heart sank immediately when a trailer for the film Till, which follows the life and legacy of Emmett Till's mother, Mamie, started playing first.
My knee-jerk reaction, of course, comes from years of watching film and TV that have exploited Black trauma onscreen and were created with little (if any) consideration for what could emotionally trigger the Black audience. The 1955 murder of Emmett Till is so heartbreaking and inherently violent; would this film make us live through that violence on screen?
This week, before watching Gina Prince-Bythewood's incredible The Woman King, a featurette for Till played in place of a trailer and it soothed my fears.
"There will be no physical violence against Black people on screen," the film's award-winning director and co-writer Chinonye Chukwu says in the featurette. "I'm not interested in relishing in that kind of physical trauma. We're going to begin and end in a place of joy," she says.
Starring Danielle Deadwyler (whose heartfelt performance on HBO's Station Eleven stole the show) as Mamie, Till is a celebration of Mamie's tireless activism which sparked the civil rights movement that continues today and ultimately culminated in President Biden signing the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act into law just a few months ago in March 2022. "Mamie Till Mobley is a hero," says Alana Mayo, president of Orion Pictures, the production company behind the film. "I'm really, really committed to making movies not just by us, but for us," Mayo says in the featurette.
After a private screening of Till, this week, Trayvon Martin's mother, Sybrina Fulton, tweeted that the film was "#Powerful" and "a must see."
I attended the private screening of the Emmett Till Movie TILL Movie
🎥 🍿 Coming to a theater near you this October #Powerful#TillMovie#MamieTillpic.twitter.com/QP4BTkavuk
— Sybrina Fulton (@SybrinaFulton) September 21, 2022
Mamie's story of courage in the face of unspeakable tragedy deserves to be told--especially as we continue the fight for civil rights today. Knowing that the Black filmmakers behind the film are centering Black joy and aiming for our empowerment through the film makes a world of difference.
TILLis in theaters October 14.
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5 Black Women TikTokers To Binge Watch
This is a safe space: You spend hours watching videos on Tik Tok when you should be doing something else, don’t you? You swear that it’ll just be a few minutes and then a few minutes becomes thirty minutes and before you know it, you’ve been laying in your bed for over an hour watching dozens and dozens of videos of precocious babies and people doing the latest dance challenge. No judgment here – we’ve all been there. To feed your addiction to the ever enticing scroll of the Tik Tok “For You” page, xoNecole has compiled a list of some of our favorite accounts on the app.
If you’ve ever come across the account of this professional therapist your first thoughts might have been, “Now why is Kelly Rowland in my business?” Despite the striking similarities, Simone Saunders is not one of the members of Destiny’s Child – but that’s not stopping the Canadian-based trauma therapist from helping you learn how to be a Survivor. With her advice on how to heal from abusive and toxic relationships learned through her years of training, Saunders, or “Dr. Rowland,” as she playfully calls herself, will definitely be your Motivation to get your life right.
@thecognitivecorner 🫡 #therapytiktok#healingtok#parentifiedchild#traumatok♬ gford._ gets no maidens - $avøry-$adisticpai
“Everybody saying they need love, they need peace, they need happiness – b-tch I need 30 bands right f-cking now!” is one of the many viral sounds that TikToker Aliyahs Interlude1 has spawned. The self-described “It Girl” has over a million followers who look to her for her bold fashion looks and her off-the-cuff style of humor.
@aliyahsinterlude1 literally stop guys 🙄🙄✋🏿 #fyp♬ original sound - aliyahsinterlude
If you are looking for a funny Black lesbian’s perspective into pop culture who will explain why Megan thee Stallion is a queer icon or why Rihanna and A$AP Rocky are a lesbian couple, look no further than the pop culture breakdowns of Homo Honey0. With her witty perspective, you’ll find yourself going down a queer and glorious rabbit hole of her page.
@homohoney0 Reply to @winteranddsummer #greenscreen#zendaya#zendayaandtomholland#euphoria#spidermanfarfromhome♬ original sound - PEYTON DIX
All it takes is watching one video from the precocious toddler Cami Fro Babe and her mother before your baby fever activates. This sweet North Carolina mama and daughter duo will have you smiling and laughing as they go shopping, vacationing, and getting into all the cuddles and sweetness that one could barely handle.
@camifrobabe Someone is excited about the new Little Mermaid 🧜🏾♀️ , she said they have the same hair 😩🥹😩 @halle ♬ original sound - CamiandFamily💕
Who doesn’t love hearing the messiness that celebrities were getting into decades ago? Tea with Britt gives you that good chamomile about what stars of yore were getting themselves into, including the sordid details of the many loves of Julia Roberts’ life or about Jerry Seinfield’s past creepy behavior, you’re going to want to keep your notifications on for the hot cup of what Britt is serving next.
@teawithbritt#greenscreen#derekjeter#mariahcarey#music#celebs#messytea☕️#popculture#fyp♬ Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
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