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St. Patrick is dandy. He gives us a great excuse to eat corned beef, wear that green dress that’s been moldering in our closet and get drunk on tinted-green beer.
In this politically correct world, however, it seems he’s getting too much attention while other saints are being shafted. Where’s the equal opportunity? It’s just not right.
We need to rally for the forgotten saints, those whose special days pass without nary a notice, never mind a parade.
True, a few saints come close to St. Pat. We have St. Valentine with his overpriced roses and jolly old St. Nick. Nicholas corners the calendar from mid-October to mid-February, if you count all the post-holiday sales.
But the rest are all glommed into All Saints’ Day, which gets buried by All Souls’ Day and shadowed by Halloween.
All Saints’ Day is about as notable as Presidents’ Day, where none are honored above the others, leaving men like Abraham Lincoln rubbing shoulders with the likes of Richard Nixon.
Again, that’s just not right.
To make it right, we need to create some marketing ploys that give other saints the same recognition – and wide array of Hallmark cards – shared by Pat, Valentine and Nicholas.
Other saints that deserve widespread recognition include St. Francis of Assisi. He is tops because he connected with animals, even openly preached to a flock of birds. His courage is notable, as anyone preaching to a flock of birds today would probably get quietly taken away in an ambulance. Francis was the Dog Whisperer of the late 1100s. We can honor his Oct. 4 holiday by volunteering at a local animal shelter and then taking home a puppy.
St. Anthony is another fine dude who gets lost in the shuffle. Folks who have lost their car keys, wallets, or large sums of money they hid after getting drunk on St. Patrick’s Day know he’s the guy who will help you find things. He’s also quite a matchmaker. St. Anthony’s June 13 needs to be recognized by going on a blind date and making an extra set of house keys.
St. Joan of Arc also needs more of a celebration. Leonard Cohen gave her a nice nod in his song of the same name, but that’s still not enough. The woman burned at the stake for her beliefs, for goodness sake. Her May 8 day of honor should include a day of picnicking and and fireworks, kind of like the Fourth of July.
These examples are just the tip of the martyr iceberg. We didn’t even begin to touch on saintly and notable folks from Buddhism, Hinduism and a host of other religions.
And we need to mention one more very important yet lesser-known saint whose Oct. 25 holiday should be celebrated every day of the year. St. Crispin was the patron saint of shoemakers. We love any excuse to buy shoes. Besides, we need some fancy footwear to go with that green St. Patty’s Day dress.
Do you care about St. Patrick’s Day?
Will you be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day? How?
Did you know it’s rumored he’s not even Irish?
What other saints do you admire?
I like Saint Che, although clearly St. Francis has been watching over Mrs. Leftfield’s dog, ensuring that he is safe while he eats his $3.00 a can dog food.
of course you like saint che.
Even the very saintly chickens don’t eat that well and they don’t eat their own stool or hump the air or sleep on my couch.  Of course, the dog doesn’t get a lullabye before bed either.
oh, how sweet! what’s a good chicken lullaby? la poulette grise?
my dogs don’t get lullabies, but sawyer has his dance-happy song “my bubbi” and phoebe has a rap tune called “phoebe fly”
Rock-a-bye birdies, in the treetop….  Of course, they like to hear a few inspirational words from V.I. or Leon before bed, too.  I just substitute “poultry” wherever “proletariat” appears (keepin’ it real, you know).
No wonder he eats his own pooh, it’s that fancy canned food! Probably smells the same going in as it does coming out….
Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 7:35 am
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Andrew Ulanowski on 03/17/2010 at 10:51 am
that’s gross but funny Mouse! yuck, what a deal . . .
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Marie on 03/17/2010 at 12:34 pm
Ew.  You’re right, but still…  ew.
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 1:27 pm
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radmax on 03/17/2010 at 7:32 am
Mornin’ Rynski! Ah, St. Patrick…the patron saint of drunkards and the debauched…the Pan of Ireland. One of my favorites! I’m sure the libations were flowing freely when St Paddy was driving the snakes out of the emerald isle. 😉
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 7:40 am
pan of ireland – love it! haha
i do agree that drunkards need a saint – esp. if they decide to go driving around or initiating those messy brawls that end up with someone getting gutted with a broken guinness bottle.
happy st. pat’s day!
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radmax on 03/17/2010 at 8:04 am
Happy St. Pats to you too! I propose there be a St. Rynski; patron saint o’ media…canonized constable o’ comments, Gannett’s guardian o’ grammar, poetic protector o’ posts…
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 8:13 am
hahhahaha! thanks for the honor(s), radmax!
wow-eee! sounds like quite a world of words i get to oversee – throw in reigning over poems about rats and art made from debris and you’re on! hahah
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radmax on 03/17/2010 at 8:21 am
Let the beatification process begin…hey, I believe all you need is to perform three miracles… 😉
Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 9:10 am
sounds good, radmax! and i already got one miracle on my list – last night i actually got sawyer to MOVE OVER and share the bed!!!
two more to go…hahahhah
radmax on 03/17/2010 at 9:20 am
That IS a miracle, from what we hear of Sawyer. Perhaps you could quell Phoebe’s barking, while you are on a miracle roll, though this will probably require all the saints participation. 🙂
azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 7:35 am
To heck with saints, what about goddesses, or particularly the one I was named after…
I want a Goddess Day! HA!!!
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Jennatoolz on 03/17/2010 at 7:40 am
I’ll toast to that! 😀
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 7:47 am
oooooh, goddesses day IS a good one – i’ll def. vote for a goddesses day!!
your namesake goddess is a good one, too – didn’t you run all over the woods, helping wild animals and avoiding that half-goat pan?
march 17 is now officially goddess diana day! yaay! we have to wear vines on our head and run around the forest.
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 7:54 am
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 10:05 am
Yes….the goddess of the hunt was very much into animals, and chastity! Another thing I have in common with my namesake! HA!!!
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Andrew Ulanowski on 03/17/2010 at 10:56 am
well, you answered what was going to be an unspoken question. i’m sure you look gorgeous in your hunting attire
Andrew Ulanowski on 03/17/2010 at 10:59 am
ok, i can get on board with Goddess Day. I was kind of thinking of Mouse as a Goddess anyway . . .
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 1:29 pm
Thanks Andrew! Might I say, nobody where’s a toga like you! 😉
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Andrew Ulanowski on 03/17/2010 at 7:53 pm
thanks Mouse! kind of making me blush here . . .
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Jennatoolz on 03/17/2010 at 7:38 am
Heya Ryn! Whoever came up with the thing about getting pinched if you aren’t wearing green on St. Patty’s day?! I curse them…whoever they are. I wore my green today, but I’ve been pinched in previous years for not wearing green (or not enough green–c’mon, a leaf on a shirt still counts! Please don’t pinch me!). My bruised arms can’t handle it any longer…hahahaha.
Say, anyone know of a place on the NW side of town where I can grab some tasty corned beef and cabbage for lunch?? 😀
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 7:47 am
I remember the year I wore a brown and white striped shirt for St. Patty’s day to elementary school and I got pinched all day! I was practically in tears!
What I didn’t know yet was that I was (and am) color blind and I wore that shirt on purpose thinking it was green and white stripes….looked green to me! 🙂
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 7:52 am
oh, no! how very sad. what mean beans kids can be. i was never pinched for not wearing green but the class bully once stole my watch.
you can wear brown today all you want – it’s the official color of goddess diana day – hahaha
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Jennatoolz on 03/17/2010 at 7:59 am
Wearing green for St Patty’s…AND brown for Goddess Diana day. We’re all gonna look like a bunch of tour guides! Lol!! 😉
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 8:05 am
hahhaahahah! i’ll head the joan of arc tours….
azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 10:07 am
Yes….maybe I’ll look like a UPS driver
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 7:50 am
i never heard that pinched thing if you’re not wearing green – oh, no! i have to actually leave the house today but am wary of wearing green, esp. that dress that’s been moldering my closet. last time i wore it i was accused of wearing pajamas to work – hahahah.
glad you’re in your green to avoid the pinchy pincers. yes, a leaf on a shirt def. counts! maybe i’ll wear green socks.
corned beef for lunch sounds delish! i’ll pass on the cabbage, tho, and go for a fake reuben sandwich at a deli i like.
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Jennatoolz on 03/17/2010 at 7:56 am
Really Ryn?? Never heard of the pinch thing?! I’m shocked! Someone pinch me…I think I’m dreaming! 😛
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 7:58 am
no, no!! don’t ASK for the pinches!!!
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Andrew Ulanowski on 03/17/2010 at 1:03 pm
Jenna, I live on the NW side and I have no idea
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Ferraribubba on 03/17/2010 at 8:08 am
Speaking of preaching to birds like St. Francis of Assisi did, while I was working at the Her-Ex in downtown L.A., I saw an old man talking to a flock of birds that had landed on his shoulders and outstretched arms one day. Strange, but not that unusual in the Land of ‘Fruits and Flakes,’ where they fly the same flag that the Tipster uses for his logo.
The strange thing about it was that while on routine patrol out on Harbor Blvd. in front of Disneyland a couple of years later, I saw the same man, standing there on the sidewalk, talking to a different flock of birds.
So this time I had PC to stop and ask him what he was talking to the birds about. He told me that as a good God-fearing citizen of the USA, he was just reminding his children, the birds to be on the lookout for Che , Fidel, Raul, or any other of those slimey bomb-throwin’ Commie bast*rds that are trying to destroy our great country.
A true American Partiot.
Yer pal, Ferrari Bubba
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leftfield on 03/17/2010 at 8:14 am
This is interesting that you bring this up, FB.  I had a similar experience in AR once.  I went into a bar for a drink and, even though I am clearly over forty, I was asked for ID.  The bartender explained to me that the drinking age in AR was 32 years.  When I asked why so high, he explained that they are trying to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 8:16 am
oh, ferraribubba – that man was not telling the birds all that stuff. he was probably warning them not to eat alka seltzer.
i love seeing folks talking to flocks of birds et. al. i wouldn’t love being stuck next to them on an airplane or something, but they are good to observe from afar – haha.
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leftfield on 03/17/2010 at 8:16 am
PS – How can you tell if someone from Arkansas is married?
A: There’s dried tobacco juice on both sides of the pick-up.
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Ferraribubba on 03/17/2010 at 8:23 am
Actually the story is true . . . except for what the old man was telling the birds. He was just whistling to them in their own language. Yer pal, Bubba
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 9:50 am
oh, i believe you about the bird talker…i’ve seen MANY bird talking folks. it’s usually pigeons that flock around them, but seagulls like to listen to them, too.
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tiponeill on 03/17/2010 at 8:38 am
My favorite is Julian the Apostate. Even though he eventually failed, he tried to save Rome from the christians.
Among other, his reign is credited with executing both st. John and St. Paul – pretty good work.
Vidal’s novel/biography is an excellent read.
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 9:51 am
see? not enough credit going around….
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Randy L on 03/17/2010 at 8:57 am
Here we have religious entity made up of men/women, choosing another man/woman to be relegated to the pedestal of being worshipped. As being god like.
There are some serious issues with this concept.
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leftfield on 03/17/2010 at 9:44 am
Here we have religious entity made up of men/women, choosing another man/woman to be relegated to the pedestal of being worshipped. As being god like.
It does sound suspiciously like the Oscars.
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 9:49 am
also good point, randy l. the people worship stuff even breaks a commandment, no? at least it’s not worshiping money or something creepy like that….hahha.
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Mark B. Evans on 03/17/2010 at 9:36 am
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 9:55 am
never heard of them – but looked it up – should i add it to my movie list? i like the description:
Fraternal twins set out to rid Boston of the evil men operating there while being tracked down by an FBI agent...BUT!!
it is also highly rated at IMDb.com. anything that’s highly rated – esp. by “film critics” – usually stinks. haha.
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 10:11 am
One of the best movies around, Ryn. It’s a must-see. I actually loved it so much I bought it.
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 10:19 am
always on the lookout for non-stinky movies. will add it to my blockbuster queue pronto!
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 1:32 pm
You’d be wise to watch it. One of Willem Dafoe’s best performances in my opinion.
Mark B. Evans on 03/17/2010 at 2:47 pm
It’s an awful movie that has become a cult classic. It made about $100,000 when it was released in theaters but about $40 million on DVD. It’s also one of the first movies to feature an Irish Punk soundtrack, including early Flogging Molly.
But,  you asked which saints I like and these are my saints.
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 3:21 pm
Don’t listen to Mark the cynic…it’s too fabulous to pass up! Watch it!
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 4:26 pm
hmmm…i’ll prob. still give it a whirl – thanks for encouragement, azmouse! after all, if i sat through fireproof, blood creek, and part of a movie called ‘my left foot,’ how awful could these boondock saints be? hahah.
azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 4:41 pm
It’s marvelous! Trust me….
Andrew Ulanowski on 03/17/2010 at 12:57 pm
i’m wearing blue today, right down to my man-panties so i guess i had better not go out anywhere . . .
captcha=protection receiver (this thing knows what’s going on . . .)
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 1:33 pm
Maybe you want to get pinched!
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 4:24 pm
if it’s bluish green you could qualify for non-pinching. or you can just stay at home and hide under bed…haha.
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andrew on 03/17/2010 at 1:19 pm
leprechans can’t see you when you wear green, that’s where all the pinching comes from. “developing aphid”
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azmouse on 03/17/2010 at 1:34 pm
OH! I didn’t know that!
Pesky little green people…..
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Rynski on 03/17/2010 at 4:23 pm
dammit! the only green i wore was green socks and i THOUGHT there were shortish people staring at me when i went out. now it’s explained.