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We all know that the pandemic has been an eye-opener for professionals forced to work from home, isolate, and now, deal with the back-to-office mania. In fact, research by insurance giant Prudential has found that 1 in 4 workers are looking toward new career horizons, and another recent survey of professionals ages 18-24 found that 66% have felt stuck in their careers since the pandemic began.
With realizations that come from new challenges, there's renewal, and with renewal there's the opportunity to get into new boss moves. And, per usual, we've got our xoNecole tribe covered with the tea on how to change your career and walk into the abundance you deserve.
1. Get real about what you really hate: the job or the career path itself.
Before you send that resignation email, stop selling that product, or move out of town to start over, it's always a good idea to take account of your why. Write down the pros and cons of your current career and evaluate whether you're just tired of your current situation or whether you need to throw the whole career away.
Use a simple two-column method (with a space for pros on one side and cons on the other) and be totally honest with yourself. Then, evaluate whether the things you like and dislike about the work you do apply to just the job or the profession as a whole.
For example, my first job out of college was working as a copy editor at a small newspaper owned by a large publisher. I surely didn't get a journalism degree to be a copy editor. I wanted bylines and notoriety, and copy editors typically sat in an office all day, staring at copy, making corrections, and designing news pages. I took the gig because I had a mentor who advised me to try it, and many of my classmates—who only applied for the writing and newscaster openings—found themselves unemployed for longer than I could stomach. I eventually found that I hated being far away from my family and I felt like the slow, conservative culture in the small town where the newsroom was located was a horrible fit for me.
On the flip side, I loved my coworkers, enjoyed being challenged, and was offered a blog for the newspaper's website, which helped diversify my duties and scratch my writing itch. When I was ready to leave, I strategized for the opportunity for upward mobility (i.e. working at said large publisher's headquarters). I stuck it out, advanced, and after two years, ended up getting hired at the headquarters... in New York. I found that I loved all aspects of journalism and that it wasn't the nature of the job, but the environment. I also got to be in the epicenter of my industry, eventually moved on to magazine writing and editing, and the rest is history.
2. Dip your toe in new waters before taking the leap.
I know, I know. If you're already juggling a demanding day job, how can you find the time to take on more? Well, sis, think outside the box on this one. Your current job might have opportunities to collaborate or lead projects with other departments, allowing you to really flex other passions and skills that have all but died in your current role.
Have coffee dates or virtual chats with coworkers who work in departments that are doing things you might be interested in or might allow you to tap into other aspirations. This is a great way to test out a new "career" without actually leaving your company or totally reinventing the wheel.
I'm one of those "geriatric millennials" who has always been fascinated by the Internet and what can be done online. (My brother's a computer geek and engineer, so I grew up intrigued and wowed by the things he could do or create.) I started working in digital media when the whole concept was super-new and "risky" for publishing houses. Print was king back then (early 2000s sis. Don't try me!). I'd volunteer, as a print editor, to take on website editing and writing that nobody else had the time (or desire) to bother with. Doing so allowed me to become somewhat of a tech geek, expand my knowledge of SEO, ad sales, traffic, video production, and website design.
I also got to work with IT professionals and tech disruptors who were already ahead of the game in that arena. In addition, I got promoted a tad quicker than my peers, becoming a manager before 30. While it didn't lead to a total career change to become a bonafide app builder or full-time blogger (which I actually regret because I missed the money boat on that one), it did enhance my experience at work and kept those nasty feelings of stagnation at bay.
Other great ways to test the waters of a new career: Volunteer for a role at an organization, take some courses on subjects related to your dream career, add just one or two new services of products to your offerings to see how they do with clients or customers, or start a part-time side hustle doing whatever that future dream gig entails.
Don't shake your head, yet. This might seem like something super-boring, technical, and annoying, but there are so many assessments that can be super-helpful in your journey to figure out your next career move. They're a great way to find out more about your skills, your passions, and how best to use them. I was initially skeptical of these until I was forced to do more than a few for my master's program coursework. The insights were amazingly enlightening and helped me clarify what I wanted to do with the next five years of my work life.
Some are free (like this one and this one) and some are an investment (like this one. Trust me sis, it's worth it.) You can find out personality traits that match with certain vocations, pinpoint your leadership strengths and weaknesses, and get recommendations on various types of jobs or roles that are a great fit—or might not be.
They're especially helpful when you're at a place of transition and are not quite sure which way to go (which is where I was a few years ago. I hit a peak in my career that led to major feelings of fear, inadequacy, and utter confusion).
When you're armed with information and resources to at least point you in the right direction to find the answers you need about your next career phase, it's easier to navigate the bumps that come with that journey. (Check out another great list of assessments here.)
Investing in a transitions, career, or life coach is something that can bring priceless returns. Just like you'd get a realtor to help find your dream home and navigate the sometimes lengthy and complicated process of searching and closing, it's a good idea to get a coach for a major decision like a career change. You might say, "Well why pay them? What do I get for my money." Uhhhhh, peace of mind, clarity, organization, and direction.
I'd been working in media for over a decade and never thought I needed a coach until I decided to up and quit my job in management to work for myself. I'd always had decent-paying, health-benefits-offering positions at prestigious companies, and when I got my first big client within 2 weeks of going solo, I thought I'd made it. Wrong. I eventually lost that client, had nothing to fall back on, and had to really come to terms with the fact that I had big-talk entrepreneurial aspirations with a spoiled, scared, check-to-check, nine-to-fiver mindset.
I broke down and finally connected with a mastermind coach who was not only a successful entrepreneur herself, but someone who could relate to the shame and trauma I felt after not being an instant and consistent success in self-employment.
She helped me map out a better plan of action for my freelance projects, sift through my jumbled ideas and turn them into feasible concepts that were sellable and scalable, update my time management approach, and she provided a sounding board for times of frustration and utter failure.
If you can't afford to hire a coach, check out free resources from organizations like the National Urban League, via your local library (which sometimes lists opportunities to connect with local coaches), and through scholarship, grant, and nonprofit initiatives. And don't forget to look in your own backyard: Many sorority, alumni or civic organizations offer free coaching services, and there are Facebook and LinkedIn groups dedicated to it.
5. Check your lifestyle and finances.
Baby, rent is always due, and don't let IG fool you. I really don't have to tell you this but I will: Making a career change can be scary, super-risky, and utterly stressful. At one point, I thought I could be a full-time social media manager. I'd been in media for a while and had dabbled in various aspects of the industry, so I thought, "Hey, why not? How different can it be?"
Chile, talk about a hot mess. I hated the monotonous and tedious scheduling, I was not that great nor competitive at creating awesome videos and graphics, and I began to feel that feedback was more like annoying nitpicking (which it really wasn't. I mean, they were paying and deserved to get what they wanted). Also, I didn't like being on-call due to the nature of managing social, and I'm really not into the constant pressure of increasing audiences through that medium. It just wasn't something I enjoyed doing at all
The change was a big mistake that cost me lots of money and time that I really couldn't afford to lose at the time. I'd stopped taking on clients for other services to switch fully into social media management, so, again, I had no alternate income to fall back on. I parted ways with several clients at that time because, let's face it: I hated being a social media manager and really won't give my best to a role I hate. That put a strain on my pockets and led to burnout that negatively impacted my true passions: content management, editing, and writing.
Ask yourself the hard questions: Can I afford to make a change right now? If it's not a good fit or happens to be a mistake, will my savings cover me for a while? If my new career shift includes taking a pay cut, investing more money in overhead costs, or losing a current audience or client, am I OK with that? Does my dream future lifestyle fit with what that industry normally pays people, and if not, again, am I OK with that? Will I be able to leverage opportunities in order to be financially free? Will the shift actually lead to more financial gains or more debt and little return on investment?
And I'm from the school of You Really Can Do Anything You Put Your Mind To, so I'm not going to get into the narrative of avoiding taking action due to money issues. (I mean, I get it: Some folks are scared to make a change if the circumstances for doing so aren't perfect. Well, not me.) Let's reverse that: As my mother would say, find a way and get it done. If you have to adjust your budget, take on more hours to earn funds to put in your "I Quit" account, lean on friends and family (word to Granny and Ma!), work with an adviser to map out the financial part of your transition, or take a leap of faith, do it.
Changing your career or totally shifting professional focus can be a roller coaster drama with crazy characters, several acts, random mini-failures, and many intermissions, but I liken the process to anything beautiful and fulfilling in one's life: If it's something you're called to do, the not-so-sweet stuff is well worth it.
For more job search tips, career advice and profiles, check out the xoNecole Workin Girl section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Janell Hazelwood, MAOL, is a journalist, speaker, editor, and consultant who has worked for companies including The New York Times, Black Enterprise, and Conde Nast. She is a proud HBCU journalism graduate and has served, for more than 15 years, as a journalist, editor, strategist and commentary writer. She also holds a master's degree in organizational leadership (MAOL) with a concentration in coaching, allowing her to pursue her ultimate goal as a lifelong servant leader to women professionals, entrepreneurs, and nonprofit founders.
6 Items NYC's Most Stylish Can’t Wait To Wear This Fall
This year I had the pleasure of attending my very first New York Fashion Week where I witnessed the best of fashion both on and off the runway. In between highly anticipated shows and jam-packed schedules industry insiders dominated the street style scene making their very own impression on the world. Buyers to bloggers, editors, and stylists were captured serving one-of-a-kind looks that will forever live in Fashion Week history.
Strolling from one event to the next, I got on-the-ground coverage of the most eye-catching New Yorkers and what they’re excited to wear this fall. From layers to oversized clothing, the overall theme this season is maximum comfort and style while wearing classic staples that go far beyond seasonal trends. Keep scrolling to read the most anticipated items that will define New York style this coming fall/winter season.
Blazers are a personal favorite all year around, however, I love to up the ante with a leather option when it comes to fall. A staple in the millennial fashion community, blazers can be a lightweight addition to any look, especially during transitional weather. If opting for a chic all-black blazer or making a statement with a colored choice, I suggest a full leather look with matching trousers paired with a contrasting top and a boot to make an even bolder statement this fall.
No matter your personal style, the addition of layers upon layers is half skill and half art. At the top of everyone’s mind this fall, layering is a must for NYC fall/winter. Whether for fun or functionality, layering isn't just for warmth and comfort but for fashionistas, it's a way to play with your season’s best. Layer your look with warm accessories such as scarves, socks, and even jewelry along with functional items like button-downs, vests, blazers, and jackets.
3. Maya & Mina
One thing you can count on during Fashion Week is models bringing the best and most effortless street style. I ran into one of my favorite models, Maya, who recently moved to NYC from LA, and had to get her thoughts on how she plans to rework her fall wardrobe for an east coast aesthetic. When asking both her and her friend Mina what they’re looking forward to wearing this fall, the oversized look was the first that came to mind. “I’m looking forward to layering big baggy clothing this fall for warmth and a genderless look," Mina told xoNecole.
High boots with midi skirts
​High boots and midi skirts are a certified look for fall. You can dress this combination up or down depending on your personal style. For a casual look try a calf-length chunky boot with an oversized cropped sweatshirt with a denim midi skirt or for a more feminine and chic approach, wear a high boot with a sleek heel and long sleeve bodysuit or knit sweater.
Cargo pants are trending high on the list of fashion must-haves this fall. A closet staple that you can wear year after year, this is a pant style worth investing in. Tiffany shared her excitement to wear cargo pants this fall with xoNecole, "You can dress them up or down so it's the versatility that I love the most." When it comes to cargo pants, I love oversized ones the most with elements such as acid wash fabric or contrasting stitching to set your pair apart from the rest.
Fresh off the runway, I took one look at model Jordan Daniels and knew exactly which item she was looking forward to wearing this fall. Her oversized all-white ensemble made up of a men’s button-down and knee-length soft shorts paired with cognac riding boots defined comfy chic NYC style. Cool and effortless, Jordan made it clear flat knee-high boots are a perfect choice for the fashion girl on the go looking for her must-have shoe.
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KevOnStage And His Wife Melissa Don’t Want To Be “Relationship Goals”
Being married or in any type of long-term relationship takes intention and diligence. No one could tell you that better than comedian and social media personality KevOnStage (Kevin Fredericks) and his wife and partner Melissa.
You may have come across Kevin from one of his many hilarious videos where he’s breaking down the latest in pop culture and the social media zeitgeist. But now he and his wife have expanded on the topics they covered on their podcast The Love Hour in their recent New York Times best-selling book Marriage Be Hard: 12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner.
In the book, the couple, who met and fell in love while they were in high school, put their favorite anecdotes and advice all in one place. xoNecole caught up with Kevin and Melissa to talk about writing the book, their relationship, and what it takes to make a long-term relationship work.
xoNecole: What inspired you all to write the book?
Kevin: I think, for me, I love social media and all of that, but I think a lot of times relationships get “relationship goalsy,” and people tend to not highlight what a practical, real relationship means. People were always calling us “relationship goals,” and I was like, ”Y'all need to understand…” For example, we did The Love Hour: Real Comedians Tour, and there were some times that, before we went on stage, we would have just gotten into an argument and we would have to go out and perform. And I think we just wanted to kind of pull the curtain back, I guess, and give people, or let people know, like, don't, don't idolize us in that sense because we are going through it just like anybody else is going through it, and here's how we're getting through it. As opposed to, “our marriage is so perfect all the time, this is so great, we're on vacation, never get in arguments. We never argue. We've been together since we were high school sweethearts and haven't had a problem the whole time.” We want to give people a real life look through how you stay together for 20 years and what tips and tricks and being required to get here.
xoNecole: When Kevin first decided to leave his nine-to-five to pursue comedy, how did that impact your marriage and how did y'all get through that?
Melissa: I think that when Kev left his nine- to- five – and I would even go back to even when we decided to move to California – all of that had an impact I don't think we realize until a few years later. So, I would say that is something that we’re still kind of working through and I would say that the biggest way to overcome that has been therapy. We’ve done what’s called the emotional focus therapy.
Emotionally focused therapy is really, really great because…since we’ve been in the love and relationship space and I’ve read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts, you can intellectualize things a lot [rather than letting your response] sit in your feelings. So, one of the things our therapist specifically [says] is “don’t focus on ‘I think,’ like those kinds of phrases, because you’re all up here in your mind. Instead go down in your heart and what is this making you feel? What are the impact of your words in terms of your feelings? And I just find that super, super beneficial for us. So, I would say that’s one of the ways we’re overcoming the unintended consequences from years ago.
Kevin: I think Melissa answered that one tremendously. This success has required sacrifice, I think is the easiest way to put it. I think too, we're, you know, doing well financially and able to help a lot of people, but it didn't come without some wounds and scars that kind of were really put on display by the pandemic. Like, we really had to confront them starting in 2020. I think we've been doing that kind of therapy work since then, off and on, but more consistently over the last six months to a year.
There were well-intentioned things that each of us did that the other person didn't necessarily take as well-intentioned as they were meant to be. And I think not understanding each other's motivation led to some resentment that we are now figuring out how that got there and how to not go down that path again and how to kind of heal some of those wounds.
xoNecole: And what were some of the sacrifices you made Kevin?
Courtesy of Kevin and Melissa Fredericks
Kevin: I honestly feel like I made many sacrifices. I feel like Melissa made a lot of sacrifices that allowed me to succeed. I always think about the gymnast that’s learning, that’s practicing. They have this safety net or they have like the foam pit and they can go as high as they want and they know that they won’t get hurt in the process and then the world actually sees them at the performance. And I think that’s how Melissa has been to me. She’s been that safety net. Her holding down a full-time job when I got fired [from my bank job] allowed us to cover the bills, and allowed me to even do stand-up comedy and content. And for the longest, she was the safety net of consistent income, healthcare, all that type of stuff and that allowed me to chase those dreams.
xoNecole: What did you learn while writing that was a surprise to you about your relationship?
Kevin: I don’t do a good job at reflecting. I never do that. With anything – good or bad. And I think the book requires you to go back to the very genesis of our relationship even prior to marriage, years one through three, year five, prior to LA. People only know us from the last seven, eight years with the eruption of [my social media content] KevOnStage, since we moved to LA. But we were in Washington, DC 13 years prior to that, from 16 to 29. So that’s a bigger part of our relationship and we are always in the present looking forward as opposed to looking backward and when you write that book, you go back and relieve those things that at the time they were happening that’s all you can think of. But the combination of the book and therapy was like a one-two punch because our therapist was requiring the same thing of us.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
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From Love & Basketball to The Woman King, The Evolution of Gina Prince-Bythewood
Of all the joys that came from my recent viewing of The Woman King in theaters, my favorite was simply watching another one of Gina Prince Bythewood’s visions brought to life. Since 2000 when she came on to the scene with her sports romantic drama Love and Basketball, Bythewood has built a diverse filmography that centers Black women.
xoNecole is here to take you through Bythewood’s films over the years and how the filmmaker continues to hold it down for Black women on screen.
Love & Basketball (2000)
In her cult classic feature film directorial debut Love and Basketball, Bythewood gave the world a love story about childhood sweethearts Monica (Sanaa Lathan in her breakout role) and Quincy (Omar Epps) who bond over their love for basketball and each other. Bythewood said this of the film in a 2020 interview with The Hollywood Reporter:
The kernel of the idea was that I wanted to make a Black When Harry Met Sally. I love that film, and there was a dearth or nonexistence of love stories made with Black characters. It was something that I wanted to see reflected; I wanted to see myself reflected. I also wanted to tell a story that put into the world that women could have both — love and career.
The Secret Life of Bees (2008)
Nearly a decade after her directorial debut, Bythewood was back with The Secret Life of Bees, an adaptation of the book of the same name. Starring Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson and Dakota Fanning as Lily, the film tells a familial love story about the sweetness of chosen family and rebuilding your life after trauma. In talking about why she decided to direct the film she said this to The Los Angeles Times:
The main protagonist] Lily’s journey was so similar to something I went through. I was adopted by a Salvadoran mother and a white father, and growing up I had a lot of issues about who was my real mother, why was I given up. [In the book, when Lily says she’s unlovable,] That was the moment where I said, ‘I have to make this film,’ because I said those exact words myself.
Beyond the Lights (2014)
In Beyond the Lights, Bythewood brings to the screen Noni, a biracial singer portrayed by Gugu Mbatha Raw, as she tries to break free from the pressure of fame and an overbearing stage mom Macy. It isn’t until crossing paths with Officer Kaz who saves her during a mental health crisis that she sees a path to a world beyond the glitz and glitter of the music industry. It’s loosely based on Bythewood’s life after reconnecting with her biological mother didn’t yield the results she was hoping. Bythewood said of her biological mom in an interview with Collider:
If this woman had ended up raising me, I would have grown up in a home that didn’t have unconditional love and how damaging that could be because it should be the right of every child. I wanted to deal with that [in Beyond the Lights], and that was really the catalyst for the Macy-Noni relationship of a girl who’s growing up and a woman who’s trying to find her own self-worth in her daughter and how damaging that can be, but also using her love as a carrot, at times, as well, to push her daughter into the direction that she wants.
The Old Guard (2020)
The Old Guard starring Kiki Layne and Charlize Theron was the beginning of Bythewood expanding her talents from quieter dramas, to the world of action. Old Guard centers on a group of immortal soldiers who fight to protect themselves when they realize someone is threatening to expose their secrets. In an interview with Thrillist she said:
I had been actively pushing my career in this direction because I love action films and I wanted the opportunity to do one myself," she tells me. "Hollywood did not seem as eager to have that happen for women until Patty Jenkins, and all praise to Patty who just killed it with Wonder Woman and absolutely cracked the door open.
The Woman King (2022)
The Woman King feels like a culmination of all the things Bythewood has been building over her career: The maternal conflict of Beyond the Lights; The love of a found family of The Secret Life of Bees; The romance from Love & Basketball; The action and fight scenes of the Old Guard. All this mixed together brings to life the Agojie, the women warriors of the Dahomey tribe who reckon with their role as slavers and harness their collective power to free the oppressed tribes from their captors. In a Rolling Stone interview, star and producer of the film Viola Davis recounted that Bythewood gave an impassioned pitch where the director ended up breaking down in tears because of her strong connection to the material. “Everyone in the room knew she was the one to direct The Woman King, because she was going to protect and honor it the same way she would her own story,” Davis said.
Bags Secured: How Tia Mowry Continues To Make Money Moves Outside Of Acting
After 25 + years in the entertainment industry, Tia Mowry has remained a mainstay in many of our lives. Tia and her twin sister Tamera garnered fame after starring in their own TV series Sister, Sister, which premiered in 1994 and since then we have seen them venture into solo endeavors. Tia, specifically, went on to act in the film Baggage Claim, Netflix’s series Family Reunion, and who can forget her role as Melanie Barnett in The Game?
The mother of two also teamed up with Tamera for projects such as Seventeen Again, Twitches one, and two, and their reality series Tia & Tamera.
But while Tia is known as an actress, she has used that fame as a way to lean into other endeavors and reinvent herself in the industry.
Here are five ways Tia has diversified herself outside of acting.
Tia launched her YouTube show Tia Mowry’s Quick Fix where she shares self-care practices and story time. However, it’s her cooking videos that really get the people going. The 44-year-old often posts videos of herself cooking for her family and sometimes she is joined by her husband Cory Hardrict and/ or her kids Cairo and Cree. Her YouTube channel is so successful that she almost has one million subscribers.
If you’re not following Tia on social media then you are missing out. The actress’ Instagram Reels and TikToks are some of the best content out there. The Family Reunion star’s social media gives fans a look at her bubbly personality as she shares funny moments with her family, fashion and beauty looks, dancing, relatable mom commentary and so much more.
The former child actress has written over three books and co-wrote the Twintution series with her sister Tamera. She has written two cookbooks, one in 2017, called Whole New You, and the second in 2021 named The Quick Fix Kitchen.
Sister, Sister star got into the wellness game by co-founding the vitamin and supplement line Anser. Tia has consistently spoken out about her health issues such as being diagnosed with endometriosis and has decided to venture into wellness after discovering how to heal herself. In an interview with Instyle, Tia talked about the importance of health. "We have been taught to be in that state of mind of survival," she said.
"But not only have we been taught, we've been forced — let's be real. [However,] a part of survival, in my opinion, is taking care of yourself. A part of being your best, being equipped to tackle your circumstances, is filling up your own cup. It's important for you to look at yourself as valuable — you have to take care of yourself."
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Featured image by Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for The Hollywood Reporter
5 Ways To Keep It Together On A Stressful Work Day
Stress is a common part of living, especially when it comes to work. For women, the impact can be felt even more due to workplace issues including unequal pay, gender discrimination, and race-related aggressions. In fact, research shows that professional women experience more stress than men, with a 46% prevalence for those employed full-time (versus 42% for men).
Many toxic factors in the workplace are part of systemic problems that require address and resolution. On the other hand, some stressors are simply part of the job and are a normal occurrence, especially for certain occupations. Thus, finding ways to manage stress is super-important for all the women who are bossing up, who love what they do, and who want to continue thriving in their careers. There are meetings to lead, deals to close, and people to serve.
For those days when having a meltdown and saying 'To hell with this job,' is not an option, here are five quick steps you can take to keep it together when work is trying your nerves and pushing you to the limit:
1. Get into breathwork.
Practicing methods like breathing retention can do wonders for coping with stress. (And this goes beyond just taking a few deep breaths). Sitting for a 10- to 15-minute session of deliberate action to control your breathing, center your thoughts and relax your jaw, shoulder, and back, has been found to help release feelings of stress and take control of your body.
Stress can trigger physical and mental reactions like decreases in energy, diarrhea or constipation, forgetfulness, and headaches, and nobody has time for that when trying to ace a presentation or practice healthy management habits. You can take a quick break, right in your office, find a quiet spot near your job, or even use your car for that impromptu breathwork session, allowing time and space for refreshing your mind, body, and spirit.
2. Journal about your stress triggers.
Yes, while at work. Writing down exactly what's triggering you or simply getting your thoughts out of your head can provide just the relief you need to get to the end of the day without going off of somebody or mentally detaching yourself. You surely don't want to do this on your company-owned computer, nor do you want to have sticky notes thrown around your office with your personal thoughts and triggers listed on them, but you can definitely use that Notes or journal app on your phone to type out a few thoughts or keep a mini book in your purse or car for purging.
With "expressive writing intervention," (i.e. journaling), you can improve your mood and see long-term positive results related to anxiety and stress. Don't know where to start or find journaling overwhelming? Try prompts that will help guide you in formulating your thoughts, facilitating calm, and redirecting your focus.
3. Take a fitness break.
Doing some sort of physical activity can also be the perfect release you need for shaking off stress during your work day. If you can take a whole 30-minute break (in addition to your usual lunch break, which you should be taking regardless of your work schedule or responsibilities), use the time for some HIIT, boxing, yoga, running, or walking. For options that are a bit more low-key or cubicle-friendly, try low-impact exercises such as seated jacks or side skaters or movements like tricep stretches that can relieve back and neck pain associated with stress.
Find a great podcast, audiobook, or playlist to listen to while doing this, put a timer on, and allow yourself some time for activity that will increase endorphins (which are behind positive emotions and feelings).
4. Incorporate play into your day.
If you're not into actual workouts in the middle of a work day, try something fun that gets you away from your desk and into some sort of activity that makes your heart sing and allows you to, again, refocus your efforts in order to manage stress. A dance break, playing a game outdoors (i.e. solo basketball, soccer, or tennis), or incorporating fun games in your office decor (like a mini golf game or adult hopscotch).
5. Spark a discussion with your trusted mentor, HR professional, team, or colleague in a solutions-focused way.
While confiding in a coworker, HR professional, or manager can have its pros and cons and can seem intimidating, talking about what's stressing you out in a way that prioritizes solutions and open dialogue can help you find solutions or at least a way to cope. This is most fitting when the source of stress involves the completion of a project, troubleshooting how to tackle a major work-related issue, addressing a difficult interaction with a team member, learning a new system or skill, or breaking through communication barriers.
When appropriate (and within your company's rules about fraternizing, hours, and interactions), invite a mentor or colleague to coffee, lunch, or dinner. If you're a manager, schedule a meeting with your team or host one-on-ones to focus not on venting, disciplining, or complaining, but on personal engagement. It's a good idea to ask open-ended questions like "How would you approach this issue?" "How can we make a process more efficient?" "What resources do we need to work smart, not hard?" versus "This is stressing me out," "Quiet Quitter Kelly is getting on my nerves" or "You're not doing your part."
Oftentimes, there's a way to eliminate stress related to certain aspects of a job simply by having honest and inclusive conversations, acting on recommendations, shifting processes, tracking results, and recognizing the ways in which workplace practices, habits, and culture might be adding unnecessary stress and confusion to everyday workday tasks.
Trying these five steps can ensure you are your best self, you're able to empower others, and that you can sustain a long and healthy career full of fulfillment and legacy.
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