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Particular Pursuits of Prosperous Perspicacity
June 26, 2016JC Leave a comment
There were times I’m thinking back upon now where I very greatly enjoyed doing things that it would appear I no longer make time for which to indulge. More specifically, things like stumbling upon new words and phrases that would send me on adventures of discovery, leaving me with new tools in a never ending quest for knowledge – in an attempt to better suit myself with the ability to properly express a modest perspective in the written form. It was also nice to be ever vigilante in making sure that I aint talkin too uneducated like for my own benefit. An internal drive for expanding a vocabulary mostly made up of things I picked up while watching “The Simpsons” seemed like a mature, reasonable thing to do at the time.
Surprising to me, considering how many English teachers have probably developed drinking problems over my inability (even to this very day) in figuring out how to conjugate verbs, or something about dangling modifiers during what some refer to as their formative years. The borderline-Latin codes they would place behind the verbiage had always been a big red stop sign for me in formal education. As if English had suddenly turned into a Biology class for words, so cold and removed from the true purpose of the literature. Even to this day I can just barely point out nouns, verbs, and adjectives.*
My brain would simply refuse to be a part of this game where you needed to understand a seven syllable term whose sole purpose of existence is hidden behind a curtain of neurological correlation. Who cares that “The” is referred to as a “definitive article” when specifying an identifiable noun, besides English majors? Whom I suspect turn into English teachers. The older I get the more I find myself agreeing with Ralph Wiggum, but more specifically with his disbelief of “Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” Yet I did. Many times. So it goes.
Thankfully my pursuit didn’t end there, but it has certainly been left to tarnish over the past few years. Tools only remain sharp and free of rust if you continue to care for them, and the work shed upstairs has undeniably seen better condition. Nowadays I tend to find myself opening the door more often and taking a peek inside, familiar with the layout but constantly thinking to myself “When did I get this?” or “What’s that for? I know it’s for something.” “I should really clean up that corner over there next to the whatchamacallit.” Harsh feelings of being a stranger inside a world you created in order to form identity. Uncertain where to start again, what tools to use, how to use them. If a license, certification, or safety goggles are required.
This was one of those really big “I enjoy doing this” things that I had to discover on my own. The instruments of expression were too exciting to be locked into chapter form, hidden away deep inside textbooks behind the methodical bore of sentence structure and elements of style. Yet they’ve been on my mind lately, those ridiculous borderline-Latin terms they would throw at my young ears. Realizing that along the way I’ve somehow managed to at the very least unwittingly absorb their general intentions as I rediscovered this particular pursuit of prosperous perspicacity.
The problem with not writing regularly is all of the time spent chasing a voice just outside earshot and feeling like a fraud, when you could be finding/defining/refining it ever so slowly, day after day, whilst feeling like a fraud instead. I can still feel the rust, it’s screaming out in every paragraph of this article, but I’m sitting down and doing the work again. Wondering why it always takes so long for me to remember how good this feels, the fun of placing one word after another, again and again, occasionally throwing in cromulent punctuation to appear well read. Thinking of more esoteric “Simpsons” references to wedge in.
April 3, 2016JC Leave a comment
The biggest problem with trying to start writing again after such a long time away from the keyboard is that you want everything to be perfect. Perfection can cause such a paralysis on creativity that weeks, months, or in this case years go by without committing anything to the page. I must have started writing this very article dozens of times over the years that I have owned this domain.
Originally, NewMagnificent.com was going to be a new home for, at the time, news and opinions on pop culture with the sole caveat that it avoid the usual discussions about sequels, remakes, and adaptations that were taking over the online film community. “Be New. Be Magnificent.” I would repeat to myself. But I would constantly fall into the trappings of “No, this isn’t ready.” So much so that it’s been almost a decade since I’ve published anything on the internet–or anywhere, for that matter. Ten years of half-formed story ideas, of editorials I would tell myself I would write, constantly looping in my head. That’s when I started really feeling the rust. Trying to sit down and not have the crushing weight of being my own worst critic, attempting to avoid the backspace key or closing out of the document without saving. I lost more of those fights than I will ever admit to. Until today.
The only way to get good at something again is to start sucking at it again, so that is what the new mission statement for New Magnificent will be: Create sucky writing. Post the incomplete mess. Find comfort in the brain dump and move on to the next poorly formed thought. It isn’t about setting a low bar, or allowance to fail, it’s about making the whole process fun again. Finding that feeling of excitement with the appearance of a blank page and blinking cursor again. The best part about writing was always in the rewriting, the formatting, seeing on the screen all of your mixed and matched thoughts and ideas and finally forge them into coherent opinions. Seeing the narrative slowly reveal itself to you is such a rewarding feeling, but it only happens when you are willing to pound the steel long past feelings in your arms have gone numb.
So here’s to beginning new things, and making magnificent messes to share. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I will.
June 14, 2014JC Leave a comment
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