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You are here: News & Promotions
Well guys, last week the Bureau of Temporal Stability stopped by our offices. Unfortunately, it turns out that there are some legal restrictions when it comes to passing out time machines. Let me tell you, they were awfully angry about the results of our first few sales, though personally I have no problems with our new Dinosaur Overlords.
Anyway, long story short, we’re not going to be able to continue production on our new Paradox™ line. In fact, we’re going to have to ask everybody who has purchased one of these bicycles to return them. Don’t worry though, we’ll be providing you with full refunds. If you have any questions, about this recall, please feel free to give us a call.
Announcing New Product Launch
We’re proud to announce the launch of our new Paradox™ line of Time-Traveling Bicycles. That’s right, you too can explore the mysteries of the past or view wonders of the future just by hopping on one of our bicycles!
I’m sure you’re wondering how we came up with Time Travel. Well, our lead engineer was trying to figure out how to make our electric bikes require even less physical exertion, and he stumbled upon a happy accident. It turns out that, after a few modifications, taking one of our electric models over a speed of 88 miles an hour allows you to bypass the laws of the physics. Awesome!
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We love it when we can provide our customers with their dream bicycle. That’s why we have the best and most creative people in the industry on hand to design and build exactly what you want. Ut a fringilla est. Aliquam eleifend interdum urna eu cursus.
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