New âDadâs Armyâ cast ill-prepared for Ebola storyline
Scriptwriter Hamish McColl has been told that he needs to ârebootâ his big-screen remake of the 70âs sitcom, in a way that reflects the perils of modern warfare.  To this end, Captain Mainwaring and his merry band of aged warriors will not only have to confront the threat of Nazi invasion, but will be involved in story lines related to international terrorism, defence spending cuts and a pandemic of haemorrhagic fever â when clearly ââ¦they donât like it up emâ. Set in the fictional seaside town of Walmington-on-Sea, realism will kick in when these part-time soldiers have to contend with only two-thirds of a platoon, to reflect the UK shortfall in the number of Army Reservists it actually needs. Yet despite this Hollywood makeover, âDadâs Armyâ will still retain its signature tune: âWho do you think you are kidding, Mr Assad/Hussain/BinLaden/Ohâ¦ whoever you areâ¦ basically, anyone in the vicinity of oil â with an accentâ. Leaked scenes include Toby Jones, as Mainwaring, yelling âYou stupid boy!â as Private Frank Pike inadvertently unleashes a drone strike on a group of unsuspecting goat herders. Bill Paterson, as Private Frazer, is heard to reply âWeâre doomedâ in response to the threat of weapons of mass destruction; a recognition of the phrase made famous by Tony Blair in 2002. Other key changes include Corporal Jonesâ catchphrase of âDonât Panicâ; which has been replaced with a less pithy 25 page UN declaration.  âHow these elderly soldiers will actually deal with being air-dropped into Sierra Leone to help fight the Ebola outbreak is yet to be decided,â said Mr McColl, âHowever, thereâll be lots of slapstick, class humour and jokes about Germans, to tie in with the UKâs current defence policyâ¦ of slapstick, class humour and jokes about Germans.â