New Microsoft headset to help UKIP voters mark polling card with âXâ
An advanced headset that instructs mentally-challenged UKIP supporters how to mark an âXâ on polling cards at the next general election has been developed by Microsoft. A spokesman for the computing giant, Hilary Trump, stated the companyâs belief that it has spotted a niche in the market its competitors had yet to exploit. She told a gathering of Tech analysts, âWhat Microsoft have developed here is a product perfectly geared to alleviate the travails of poor unfortunate members of the society who canât think for themselves.â âInstead, they spend their days believing things that can simply never work in a modern, civilised society.â âNo, not just those people still using Windows Vista devices, but those members of the British electorate who will be registering a vote in favour of UKIP in 2015.â âClearly these people are fundamentally flawed, behind the times and incapable of carrying out the most basic of functions.â âWe feel that giving people that donât think very well products that donât work very wellÂ makes them the perfect ambassador for any Microsoft product.â Microsoft also confirmed the software would still have utility for UKIP voters beyond the general election, with additional guides currently being compiled for use with the headset. âWe think that the âHow to secure your pockets from Romaniansâ guide will prove very popular.â âNot to mention, âHow to tell convincing lies about immigrantsâ, which UKIP themselves have been instrumental in preparing.â âItâs going to be a big product for us, definitely.â I think, therefore I am (not a UKIP supporter)