Broadband providers push 'slow internet' movement
SLOW internet speeds promote mindfulness and a love of nature, according to leading broadband companies. The Slow Internet Federation, a collective of the UKâs leading broadband suppliers, believes reduced internet speeds encourage a calmer, more philosophical mindset. A spokesman said: âItâs all about appreciating small amounts of data, as we used to in simpler, more rustic times when everyone dressed like Thomas Hardy characters. âItâs about putting quality ahead of instant gratification. For example, internet users at the moment are gorging themselves on mediocre cat videos. âWeâre saying itâs better to just look at a still image of one really, really nice cat.â Plumber Tom Logan said: âI thought my internet connection was just a piece of shit. Now I realise Iâm just part of a philosophic movement. âI must admire this lovely flower while my Youporn video buffers.â Internet user Joanna Kramer said âIâm online all the time, and I know it canât be good for me. Iâve wasted whole Sundays just constructing hate filled comments to leave under the pictures on the Rich Kids Of Instagram feed. âIâd love to join the slow internet movement, but I canât find enough information to get started. Their web page takes so fucking long to load.â