Patent row breaks out over Mount Sinai tablet
With a battery life of centuries and boasting the worldâs first eGranite text, faithful fans are queuing impatiently for the new iMoses tablet. Weighing in at 25 bushels and compatible with Christian, Jewish and Islamic operating systems, the tablet is expected to be the number one distraction in many peopleâs lives. But while rectangular things with words on have always caused rows and untold bloodshed, the iMoses is the subject of a particularly bitter patent row. âWe were definitely the first to come up with a decimal commandment systemâ, insisted a spokesman for the Vatican. âBut this legal row is more to do with who owns the rights to the instruction book.â iMoses has so far been sold with the Torah, Quran and the Bible, but subtle differences between these manuals are fueling heated threats of excommunication, penitence and fatwahs. These endless threats and counter-threats can be confusing to the consumer. âI quite fancied an iMoses as itâs comforting to have something to turn to in times of boredom on the trainâ, explained Nigel Planter. âAnd it seemed secure, because it had âthou shalt not stealâ written on the front.â Mr Planter was wary of taking his instruction manual too literally, but was shocked to learn that by not doing so, heâd invalidated his eternal warranty. Parent groups have also complained that some iMoses content is unsuitable for children. Clerics have hinted that this will be addressed by the launch of a new, smaller tablet, with all the bits about adultery and coveting chiselled off. iMoses is expected to start shipping within 40 days, via a big, wooden boat that smells of all kinds of animal crap.