Museums now on the look-out for loose appendage
Following the revelation that the blue and gold braided beard on the mask of the pharaoh Tutankhamun had been hurriedly glued back on after it was damaged, archaeologists and museum conservators around the world are checking for other instances of bodged conservation. Italian conservator Luigi Boninsegna, based at Galleria dellâAccademia in Florence, has given assurances that Michelangeloâs Statue of David remains intact, despite one or two female visitors remarking on the disappointing size of his manhood.  âNothing has ever been chipped off, filed down or replaced,â he told Kirsty Wark in an exclusive interview on Newsnight. âMany women come here with much higher and sometimes impossible expectations, so it is understandable that they sometimes harbour such conspiracy theories.â Similarly, at Athensâ Archaeological Museum, the appendage on the famous bronze Satyr has been examined and is reported to be still at a full 60 degree tilt with no traces of interference. Conservators in Cairo are now calling for a super-glue amnesty among staff in the light of recent events, with extra security being placed around phalluses and chin adornments.  Meanwhile tippex has been banned from the Israel Museum of Jerusalem, home to some of the Dead Sea Scrolls. At Wolverhampton Museum and Art Gallery, the Saxon Stiffy is reportedly still intact. In India, the authorities have expressed their grave disappointment that the erotic temple carvings at Khajuraho have not been chipped off or glued back on in the wrong way. Some have now reluctantly conceded that this may prove that many of their ancestors had quite athletic sex, something that the nation of 1.1 billion people has hitherto been reluctant to acknowledge. In a separate development, Israeli archaeologists searching for the lost appendage of the famous statue of Gerontius, have revealed that they have begun to unearth something exceedingly large from beneath huge layers of sedimentary deposits. Conservator, David Bendor said: âIf this does belong to Gerontius then all I can say is âHoly Moses!â Most of us can but dreamâ¦â