Oregonâs Assisted Suicide Law Modified, No Longer Just For Terminally Ill
Â In a landmark case, the Oregon Supreme Court today decided in favor of Mandy Matthews, an 18-year-old high school cheerleader who sued for the right forÂ an assisted suicide after being dumped by herÂ long-term boyfriend. The court ruled that Oregonâs terminally ill clause was discriminative, and that any adult should haveÂ the right to choose when to die, not just the terminally ill.Â âThis is the happiest Iâve been since Billy dumped me to go out with the stupid slut Becky Beyer,â said Matthews. âI mean, donât get me wrong. Iâm happy about winning the lawsuit, but my life is still over and not worth living without Billy. I was going to do it right away, you know kill myself, but we have a big game coming up this weekend and Iâm the top of the pyramid so I donât want to let the squad down. So me and my BFF Jill were texting during the court hearings, and we came up with December 2nd as the time for the suicide. ThatÂ gives us time to plan a going away party for me, and as a plus itâs Billyâs birthday! Howâs that for a present?! Fâ you, Billy!âEven though the decision from the court just came out a few hours ago, the state has already received 68 online applications for assisted suicide. In the âreasons and explanationsâ part of the application, 33 applicants responded âDivorceâ, 15 responded âDepressionâ, Â 15 responded âI live in Oregonâ, and 5 responded âthat stupid slut Becky Beyer.âÂ Â