Pepper spray drones to target middle class dinner parties
The South Africa-based arms manufacturer, Desert Wolf, has secured sales to a mining company wishing to âstamp outâ illicit middle-class soirees and those who overstep the international boundaries of dinner party etiquette. To this end âSkunk Dronesâ, disguised as ornithological pepper mills, will spray anyone seen to be ignoring dress codes, arriving late without a gift for the hostess or âusing the wrong soup spoonâ. This zero-tolerance approach to fine dining is seen as the next logical step in the fight against terrorism, fundamentalist vegans and using âoneâs bread for mopping up saucesâ. Those who fail to serve the lady sitting to the right of the host first will be treated to a barrage of plastic bullets, dye marker balls and withering looks from the other guests. One âmeal extremistâ attested to seeing combatants exchanging blows with a butter knife, salad tongs and a sharpened artichoke: ââ¦while refusing to even stand when a lady asked to be excused for the bathroomâ. The International Committee for Robot Arms Control have questioned the effective of this deterrent, given that many ârogue dinersâ have been combining the pepper drone with vinegar and olive oil drones to âmake a nice marinadeâ. Many prefer Boris Johnsonâs plan to use three water cannons to hose down any of the working class who frequent Harvester Restaurants. Human Rights activists have defended peopleâs right to âeat with their fingersâ but the UN is expected to support a toughened response to âtalking with a full mouthâ. Of particular concern is the situation in Iraq, where ISIS have seized Â£256 from Mosulâs central bank in attempt to pursue eau de cuisson, the destruction of the West and to âpick their teeth with impunityâ. As the US offers armed support to the Iraqi Government, the pepper drone may be a key tool in their arsenal â along with the tear gas filled gravy boats, taser enabled cutlery and exploding trivets.