Supreme Court Finds âHappy Endingsâ To Be Legitimate Massage Procedure
The Supreme Court case of Mingâs House of Pleasure v. The state of Maine has ruled in favor of Mingâs in a shocking 7-3 vote. The Supreme Court of The United States has ruled that âhappy endingsâ can be considered a legitimate massage procedure, and in no way should be considered prostitution.Â âThis case has been a court favorite for a while now,â said Court reporter Luis DeJesus. âThe Justices asked to hear testimony from all 15 of Mingâs massage therapists. The early goings of the case did not look good for Ming, but the turning point of the case came when Ming offered the justices each a free massage.ââThe day of the free massage was the only time I ever saw Ruth smile,â said Ruth Ginsburg aide Sarah Nicole. âI knew the men would enjoy it, but who knew the old girl was a freak?ââThe happy ending was a real pleasure,â said Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. âI had my reservations, but once I experienced it, I had a change of heart. I can see how itâs the perfect ending to a relaxing massage. To think this was considered prostitution is outrageous. Now that Iâve experienced it, I canât think of anything more natural than aÂ good olâ fashioned to finish off a good deep tissue massage.ââWell, itâs about time those old bastards finally got something right,â said frequent Mingâs patron Carmine Classi. âNow my wife canât give me hell when I go to Chinatown for a little release. Shit, now that itâsÂ legal and I donât have to worry about the cops busting in, Iâll probably go 3 or 4 times a week instead of my usual 2.â