Comet landing is empirically cool so shut up, say experts
LANDING a robot on a comet is objectively amazing and anyone who disagrees must be shunned, experts have confirmed. Scientists explained that there are bad things and good things and not all the good things have to be about solving the bad things.n Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: âIf someone says we should have cured cancer and ended hunger before landing a robot on a comet you have my official permission to tell them to shut their hole.n âMost of the time humans are a bunch of dicks, so when we put some of them on the moon, or land robots on comets, it reminds us that we might actually be worth saving.n âAnd so what if all the robot tells us is that the comet is definitely a comet? The components would otherwise have been used to make a satellite to beam yet more television into your gawping face.ân But Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: âItâs all about exploiting space minerals and making trillions for huge corporations. Meanwhile, thereâs lots of bad things making people sad.ân Professor Brubaker added: âThe comet landing is like throwing a rugby ball across your garden while someone tries to drop a parachute-wearing frog onto it from a helicopter.n âThere is no version of morality in which that is not utterly fucking brilliant.n âShut up, you dreary man.ân Â n