Hillary Clinton has âtotally safeâ private internet
Clinton, seen here in 2013 writing code for her private internet (credit: Twitter) Insisting that confidential emails sent from her personal account were secure, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton has informed the public that she has a private internet at home. âDuring my tenure in the State Department, I did indeed use my personal account to send and receive tens of thousands of official emails, but this never posed a security risk because the account was set up on clintonemail.com,â she said, âwhich is run on my very own server, on my very own internet, which is totally safe.â âIt would have taken every last state-sponsored Russian hacker a hundred years to break in, you see, because my private internet exists in a universe of its own, where I alone am fluent in the complex programming language, because Iâm the one who created it, and Iâm also the one who nearly broke her back laying down the thousands of miles of secret fiber optic cables.â âPlus, my password was 17 characters long, and it contained a mix of numbers and letters,â she added. âIt alluded to a glib remark that Bill made on Bourbon Street during our trip to the Big Easy back in 1978. No one knows about that raunchy joke except us.â One reporter asked Clinton if it was indeed her who had sent world leaders emails from the account with ads for discount Viagra, profanity-laden criticism of the 1999 NATO bombing campaign, and misspelled references to Monica Lewinskyâs mouth. âRest assured that my internet is safe, because I invented it,â she said. âIâm the only one who can break it.â