Netflix CEO Announces Big Changes, Plans To Become Cable TV Provider
Netflix co-founder and CEO RodÂ Houston announced today that the on-demand streaming media giant has developed a new way of offering cable services to millions of Americans, which includes HBO, Showtime, The Movie Channel, all sports networks, including NFL Sunday Ticket and NBA Season Pass, among others for the unbelievably low price of $16.99 a month.âBasically, we will haveÂ guys running around hooking up cable illegally, from house to house, and weâll be the middle-man for content. But, I mean, if everyone is happy, is it a crime?â HoustonÂ said. âArenât you tired of switching back and forth between cable providers? Burnt out on the selections provided through Netflix streaming? Of course you are. Our selection is mediocre at best. Do you need more? Of course you do! I am pleased to announce that we have started our ventureÂ of becoming the only cable provider in the country, giving us control over everything! Well, thatâs the idea anyway, not sure how we are going to do it, but it is a good idea.âThe confused reporters sitting in on the announcement apparently assumed the CEO had lost his mind, before he went on to explain why heâd really brought them all there, as the witty and clever Netflix lead-man went on to admit that he was joking about the whole thing.âHa! I got you guys again! I called this press conference strictly for the purpose of reminding each and everyone of you that the complete Friends series is now on Netflix, and what else do you need in your life but those goofy, nerdy, kinda-funny-but-the-show-was-pretty-much-shitÂ FriendsÂ cast?!â HoustonÂ rambled. âAlso, donât worry, we are working diligently to close a deal to bring in the Muppet Show. It is a glorious time to be a Netflix subscriber!âIrked reporters and spectators immediately cancelled their Netflix subscriptions, and switched to Hulu.