Top Government Geneaologist Warns That There Are Only 3 TRUE Americans Left
The United States is commonly referred to as the land of opportunity and the land of the free.Â  Others have referred to it as the great melting pot, since there is so much diversity in thought, race, religion, etcâ¦ Last month a small group of top US Government Genealogists booked a conference meeting room at the famed Lambeau Field.Â  They stayed at separate hotels in nearby Appleton so not to call attention to themselves.Â  They reported the atmosphere to beÂ legendary but the catered chicken stir fry was a little dry. These mysterious government officials revealed some eye opening findings from their meetingsâ¦and the months of work they put in prior to the meetings.Â  Their contention is that there are only 3 true blooded Americans that can be traced back to the discovery of the land that isÂ now known as the United States.Â  One woman from the study group agreed to speak to us under the condition of full anonymity. âYou got it,â she matter-of-factly states.Â  âThere are only three.Â  Weâve bastardized this country so badly over the years that we only have three left.Â  If we cannot isolate them and begin an intensive breeding and potential cloning process, we will lose our identity and will have to change the name of our country.Â  Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Native Americans,Â Cuban Americans, African Americans, Italian Americans.Â  The list goes on and on.Â  WeÂ have beenÂ so busy putting names to all of the new people entering our country that we forgot about the American Americans.Â  Now the American Americans are nearly extinct.Â  I amÂ not one of them.Â  Iâve got roots and lineage that trace back toÂ French, Finnish, Scottish, Norwegian, and Polish.Â  Iâm like a fucking mutant!Â  On behalf of the great country that accepted me as one of their own, I am going to ensure that we do not lose the American American.Â  Oh, and by the way, opinions expressed by me are not necessarily the opinions or endorsements by my direct employer (US Government).â Sounds like there is much work still to be done to regenerate a full blooded class of American Americans.Â Â Hopefully one of the three is a woman or it could get kind of messy.Â  One canât help but wonder if scientists may be able to extract part of oneâs origins or lineage.Â  I can hear it now:Â  Hey Doc, can you please pull this Polish soul out of me? (enter your own joke here) Weâll keep you updated as we hear anything further.Â  We asked our anonymous interviewee if we would ever be able to meet one of these American Americans to see if they were worth saving and duplicating.Â  Maybe they are assholes and we donât want them around anymore.Â  She assured Mouthfrog that no one would be meeting an American American face to face anytime soon.