OâDonnell Casts Spell, Promises Romney Debate Victory
Former anti-masturbation activist and failed Republican U.S. Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell has predicted that the spell she cast on Barack Obama before the lastÂ presidentialÂ debate should work again for tonight's rematch in New York state. O'Donnell explains that her ancient "Spell of Torpid Disorientation" is nearly 100% effective at slowing down theÂ cognitiveÂ tempo of its target, making them appear to be lazy and uninterested in events around them. The founder of Christian sexual values group Saviors Alliance for Lifting the TruthÂ (SALT) says she was up all last night with her local conservative coven casting the primeval spell in a cave 15mi outsideÂ Wilmington, DE. The group performed the same ritual the night before the debate in Denver on October 3. And We Fools of Nature... Our correspondent caught up with Ms. O'Donnell outside the cave's entrance this morning, and asked her about her efforts in influence theÂ presidentialÂ race: "I came up with this idea because even though I'm no longer running for office, I wanted to play a vital role in helping the conservative cause move forward." "We were shocked by how well our spell worked last time," she insists, "We were thinking of doing something different last night, but why mess with success?" "Now that we've affected Obama with our STD again, we're certain he'll be a one-term president." O'Donnell ran unsuccessfully for the U.S. Senate in Delaware in 2010, and is best known for releasing a campaign ad declaring "I am not a witch." She had previously stated on Politically Incorrect that she "dabbled" in witchcraft. Â  VIDEO:Â O'Donnell's 2010 Ad:  Â  Â