Cameron porn block plans in disarray as 100% of homes âopt-inâ
Everyone has said they would like access to online pornography, scupperingÂ DavidÂ Cameronâs plans to make such content available only to people who say they want it. The Prime Minister is expected to outline plans today for online pornography to be made available only in homes that âopt-inâ to such content, seemingly unaware that everyone has already done so. Internet user Simon Williams told us, âThe moment I hear there was a plan for opt-in, I put my hand in the air. Â Not that one, that one was busy.â âIf the government is somehow under the impression that this nationâs secret perverts will too ashamed to opt-in to get access to their porn fix, then they can expect to be sorely mistaken.â âTrust me, I, and millions like me would double opt-in if it meant we got access to the really good stuff.â âIf David Cameron thought this would work, then I can only suspect that he is being advised on his Internet policy by my nan.â The government has spoken of its disappointment at the 100% opt-in rate, explaining they thought there might be one or two homes that chose not to. A spokesperson explained, âThe mistake we have made is underestimating how thoroughly depraved the general public is, and how tedious masturbation can actually be without access to a myriad of online filth to occupy the mind.â Online decency campaigner Sheila Matthews said, âThis new government plan is important because it will keep the minds of our young people pure, and we need to protect the most vulnerable in society from materials that could corrupt their young minds.â âYes, my husband has already opted in, but thatâs not the point.â