USDA Warning: Gluten-Free Diets Cause Cancer
A joint statement released today from the USDA and the FDA discusses new information, based on several years of research, that provesÂ that a gluten-free diet, done solely on a pretentious, bandwagon-style mentality, will give you cancer.Researchers and medical staff at the Wyatt Institute in Clearwater, Michigan say that they have been working on the effects of a gluten-free diet on people who do not have Celiac Disease or other wheat and gluten allergies. According to reports, their discovery was âsurprising.ââWeâve known for many, many years that persons with Celiac Disease should have a gluten-free or extremely low-gluten diet,â said Dr. Marvin Sheer, of the Wyatt Institute. âThose people need to eat a special diet so as not to become extremely ill. Over the last few years, though, many people are jumping onto a âgluten-freeâ diet bandwagon, because for some strange reason they think that gluten is bad for them. Itâs not, by the way. Plus, itâs part of nearly everything that you eat.âGluten isÂ a substance present in cereal grains, especially wheat, that is responsible for the elastic texture of dough. It is found, in one shape or form, in everything from cereals to sliced bread, pastas, and even crackers.âWhat our study concluded is that these people, who just decided to go âgluten-freeâ because itâs the fad, or because they think it will help them lose weight, are not getting enough gluten in their diets. This, by the way, can already be an unhealthy option. But heck, wouldnât you know it, we discovered that it also gives these people cancer â brain cancer, to be precise,â said Sheer.âWhat happens is, these people, they stop eating gluten, because itâs the âcoolâ thing to do. Itâs hip. They read about going âgluten-freeâ on Facebook, and theyÂ haveÂ to try it. After all, their friend Jeanne lost 2 pounds going gluten-free,â said Professor Charles DeWitt. âThese poor people, though, when they go gluten-free just because everyone else is, they forget to use their brains, and the less you use your brain, the more likely you are to develop a cancer in it. If youâve been gluten-free for more than 15 minutes, and you donât have Celiac Disease, chances are you are on your way to having brain cancer as we speak.âDr. Sheer says that people with Celiac Disease have nothing to worry about, though.âIf you have an actual, medical reason that you should stay away from gluten, keep doing it. Our research shows that in your case, youÂ areÂ using your brain by following sound medical advice,â said Sheer. âIf anything, not eating the gluten might make your brain more powerful. Weâre still working on that study, though.âSheer suggests that anyone who is currently on a gluten-free diet unnecessarily to stop immediately, and to just âeat your damn food like a normal personâ, especially if youâre out at a restaurant.âYouâll make every waitress, cook, and other restaurant employees happier if you do, because Iâll just tell you this right now â itâs 100% impossible for a restaurant to cook you a gluten-free meal. Donât be pretentious. Order that fried chicken, and enjoy. And donât forget to tip!â