David Cameron announces plan to compel you to cc him on all emails
David Cameron has insisted that the security of the nation relies on you voluntarilyÂ ccâing himÂ on all emails you send in future. The move comes as anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of technology told the Prime Minister thatÂ his plans to ban encrypted communications in the UK is simply never going to happen. Mr Cameron spoke toÂ reporters,Â telling them, Â âI have been advisedÂ that my announcement yesterday about banning encryption made me sound like a tech-illiterate moron.â âAs such, today I am pleased to announce a revised plan which will merely see you required to cc me on all of your emails, add me to your online chats, and forward me all of your text messages.â âThis will be much cheaper, as we wonât have to do any actual hacking, and the hard work is done by you sending us everything youâre doing online.â âDespite a lot of eye-rolling I have been assured by my technology advisors that there are âno technological reasonsâ why this wonât workÂ â though apparently I might have to think about increasing the size of my data allowance.â âTo those denouncing my plans, I say that the security of our nation is paramount, and as such we can not let people continue to talk about things without usÂ knowing exactly what they are saying.â âEven if that means I have to read your emails to your Gran about how work is going and your roommate who wonât put the bins out.â âBut remember, we are not talking about creating a North Korean-style nanny state here â so you have the freedom toÂ blind cc on your emails, you know if youâd prefer.â âItâs your choice.â