Dung-powered car factories pushing one out every minute
It is the future of motoring and it is here today. No doubt most drivers would sniff at a faeces-powered vehicle, but increasing numbers of customers are buying them. In the last year 10,000 were sold in the UK, where they are particularly popular among farmers and the incontinent. Worldwide in 2014 they sold over a third of a million. So why are they so popular? They occupy a niche between the fossil-fuel-burning gas-guzzlers and the inefficient green cars which try to propel themselves using wind, solar or wave power. They utilise what ecologists call "brown energy", which is sustainable but still causes pollution. Some motorists may also be put off by the toilet seat which protrudes from the front bonnet, but fashionable versions such as the Citroen Pongo and the Ferrari Lavatoire are showing that poo-power can be sexy. Even Victoria Beckham drives one. I decided to take a spin in a Vauxhall Turdmobile, the leading British-built excrement-fuelled car. I used it to drove to Dorking and back to fetch my wife from her other husband. I picked up the car apparently fully fuelled at Purley service station, expecting that it would last the whole 15 miles without needing to be refuelled. Sadly, after a little more than half-way the tank was empty, thus revealing the main flaw of dung-power - its poor mileage. It was a strange experience to squat atop the car on the hard shoulder of the M25 with my trousers round my ankles to "top up the tank". Many passing drivers honked their horns in disgust or perhaps admiration, I couldn't tell. Nevertheless I was glad to have had a lot of fibre for breakfast that day as I had no trouble filling her up and completing the journey. The trip back was not quite so pleasant as the tank ran out of juice once more. I had to ply my wife with a significant amount of laxatives in order to collect enough fuel to get home. But once these minor imperfections are ironed out, I have no doubts that the dung-powered car is here to stay.