X Factor winner to be given obscurity counselling
ITV executives have confirmed that this yearâs X Factor winner will be given obscurity counselling to help them deal with the intense pressures of anonymity. The producers have taken this unusual step after a survey revealed that 80% of the population couldnât name last yearâs winner. After the final show, the victorious contestant will be whisked away to a secret location where they will be taught how to cope with the perils that go hand in hand with the X Factor crown. The innovative therapy includes being ignored by an entire room of people and sitting next to a phone that refuses to ring. There will also be vocational training in shelf-stacking and minicab driving. Immediately following the announcement, Internet users accused the producers of coming up with yet another gimmick to halt falling ratings. However, an ITV spokesman was quick to defend the plan, saying, âEven though we prostitute and manipulate every contestant for our own profit, we still have a duty of care to them.â âIn the past, people like whatshisnameâ¦you know, the tall one, could be relied on to fade away quietly.â âUnfortunately, this year the voting is so erratic that thereâs every chance Hannah could win it.â âThat girl needs the attention so badly sheâs going to self-harm the first time a nightclub doorman doesnât recognise her.â âEven we canât make that look good.â