Depressed Dog Named âDukeâ Considering Non-Invasive Botox Treatments
Lafayette, LA â Poor old Duke just lays around in bed these days. Â Heâll get up and gnaw on a bone once and awhile, but Duke is depressed. Â Heâs been depressed for several years now. Â He caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the car door window one day before his owners rolled it down for him. Â He never knew, prior to then, why other dogs would not sniff his ass as much as others seemed to get their asses smelled. Â It was on that day Duke realized that his wrinkled up face made him look like a pathetic mess. Through the dog psychologist Duke has been seeing, who also happens to be a dog language interpreter, we were able to get Dukeâs immediate thoughts on how heâs feeling. âI used to lick my own ass since no one else would but I donât even do that anymore,â whimpered a downtrodden Duke. âI just sit around the house and sleep a lot. Â I dream about it sometimes. Â My shrink and I have been talking and heâs almost got me convinced to try Botox treatments. Â I know I could die from Botulism but Iâm half dead as it is already. Â Iâm not ready for any incisions or anything like a face lift just yet. Â That freaks me out. Â But a few needles? Â Hell, I get poked by tons of needles when I go to the doctor already. Â A few more to improve the quality of my life is really a no brainer.â We can tell you that Duke has started his Botox treatments. Â Heâs experienced a few side effects that doctors explain as ânormalâ until they are able to treat more dogs. Â Duke has experienced temporary paralysis of his anus resulting in unplanned soiling of his ownerâs carpets. Â Injections around Dukeâs jaw have severely hampered his ability to chew solid foods. Â Duke is slurping a lot of Jello and frozen yogurt. Â This has not helped his pooping problem. âAll in all, Iâm glad I took the step to improve my looks and my life,â says Duke. Â âIâm not gonna lie, itâs been tough so far. Â I get left outside a lot more now because no one knows, including me, when some form of waste will come leaking out of my ass. Â But that will stop eventually. Â Iâm sure of it. Â The doctors have shown me some potential before and after pictures and that keeps my spirits up. Â They think that I may even come out looking like a basset hound without those dumb ass floppy ears. Â That would be fantastic.â Duke splashed out a vile stream of some sort of liquid from his ass with large pieces of Jello landing softly on his backyard lawn. Â Through Dukeâs psychologist, we thanked him for his time and quickly exited the premises. Â Duke saw us out with a look of hopeful shame on his face. Â We wish you well, boy.