58 PERCENT OF AMERICANSâ FANTASIES NOW APPLE-RELATED
According to a new study, 58 percent of Americansâ fantasies are now Apple-related.It is the first time more than half the U.S. population has shared the prime object of sexual fantasy, and also the first time a non-human has topped the list since Mel Gibson in 1992.In the survey of 5,000 American adults by the Kinsey Institute, researchers uncovered thousands of Apple-related fantasies from men and women. The 10 most common:WITH A STRANGERKate R., Oregon: âItâs the middle of the night and I wake up and thereâs this strange man in my room and heâs frightening but rugged and handsome and he says, âDonât moveâ and I nod and he whips out this shiny new Apple device Iâve never seen and he says, âThis oneâs calledâ¦â and I say, âShhhâ¦ no. We donât need to use names.ââWITH A CELEBRITYMiriam L., New York: âOh my God, Jeff Goldblum all the way. In the film Independence Day, thereâs this scene where Jeff is alone in this room working on his trusty PowerBook 5300 with his shirt off. Suddenly he has this epiphany, picks the PowerBook up and hugs it to his muscular chest. I fantasize about that scene all the time. I play Jeff Goldblum.âTHREESOMERichard P., Texas: âI have an iPad, but sometimes I think about having two iPads, at the same time. That would be hot. And when I get tired, maybe the two iPads would also, you know, interface. Connect. Hook up. That would be totally hot. Iâd film that. On my iPhone.ROLE PLAYINGBrandi R, Wisconsin: âI call Apple and order the âOffice for Mac Student and Teacher Edition,â and when I try to install the software it asks if Iâm a student and I click the box that says, âYes and Iâve been a bad girl.â Because thereâs a box for that in my fantasy.âFORBIDDEN FRUITCarol F., Virginia: âI know itâs wrong to think about my best friendâs husband, but heâs, wow. Heâs got the whole package: iPhone, MacBook Air, iPod Classic, AppleTV, plus a massive, 12-core Mac Pro with Xeon Westmere processors and two terabytes of memory. My husband, by comparison, has an iPod nano. Which is why I keep an external hard drive in my bedside drawer.âFORBIDDEN ENTRYBrad  J, Florida: âInstead of turning on my Mac Pro from the front, I try to  access it through the port on the back. The operating manual says not  to, but I figure if I keep trying, eventually Iâll get my way.âDOMINATIONRichard M., California: âIâm an executive at work, but at home sometimes I like to be told what to do. For me, that means Iâm installing OS X Lion and I get to the license agreement page and the button says âAcceptâ and first I click âDeclineâ and the software says âYou must accept this agreementâ and I click âDeclineâ again and the screen says âYou Must Accept!â and Iâm like, âPlease no!â and itâs like âAccept! Accept!â and I click âOK God yes I accept!ââ IN PUBLICKevin N., Georgia: âMy girlfriend and I are dancing in this club full of people and we get really hot and start taking our clothes off and we start making love right there on the dance floor in front of everybody. And the fantasy part is, theyâre all Steve Jobs.âOLD FLAMELeona P., Colorado: âI have a 24-inch iMac with OS X Snow Leopard, and itâs great and all, but sometimes I fantasize about going back to my old PowerBook DUO 230 with Mac OS 7.6. I know it wouldnât be as good as I remember it, but System 7 was codenamed âBig Bangâ for a reason.âSPANKINGNigel T., Massachusetts: âUsually my fantasy goes like this: my wife comes home from work and she gets on the Mac and itâs acting kind of slow and she says, âNigel, did you install the latest Airport update?â and I come in the room and say âNo dearâ and she throws me over her knee and shouts âBad boy! Bad boy!â and starts spanking me with a 6-pin FireWire cable. And in my fantasy I never use our safe word, which is âQuickTime.ââ