Yesterday most depressing day of year, say scientists disgusted at what they've become
MONDAY January 19th was officially the most depressing day of the year, according to scientists degrading themselves by concocting media bullshit. Copper Sulphate Monday is when boffins open newspapers and see the unrecognisable caricature of science that, God help them, they have helped to create. Dr Wayne HayesÂ said: âI work on high-throughput mutation detection for the Cancer Genome Project, or used to. âThere isnât the funding for that, but thereâs plenty of money to come up with equations demonstrating how to seat the perfect dinner party, the mathematics behind single socks going missing from the dryer and graphs explaining why Homeland should have finished after one season. âTheyâve promised I can do some proper research in February, after Iâve finished this equation which proves how to flip the perfect pancake.â The scientists have come up with the equation SE=I-OÂ², where SE is self-esteem, I is a negative number representing integrity and O represents the scientistsâ overdraft, to explain why they can no longer look at themselves in the mirror.