Minecraft World Record Holder Naively Thinks Heâll Have Kids to Brag To One Day
Minecraft world record holder Stanley Gordon naively believes heâll have children one day to brag to about his conquest of the virtual universe. The 20-year-old, who says he spends his nights playing the popular game and his days sleeping and masturbating in his basement room, dreams of the family heâll clearly never have.âIâm gonna marry someone who loves the gaming world as much as I do,â he gloats, almost endearing in his belief that heâll have a choice in any woman who hasnâtÂ immediately rejected him. âWeâre not gonna be a conventional family, where the parents are boring and always telling the kids what to do. Our parenting will be based on a shared love of fantasy and fun.âIn his deluded mind, Gordon has decided to have only two children because, âit gets lonely if thereâs only one, and when thereâs three one can get left out.â The wife and two children heâll never have are going to live in the mansion heâll design when his Minecraft blog eventually makes it big.His best friend, known as fartdick69, encourages the GordonâsÂ sad belief that heâll find love by suggesting that his own imaginary family will join himÂ for barbecues, where all their mythological family members will enjoyÂ Minecraft together. This, of course, once they live in the same city as each other and have met in person.âStanâs a good dude,â wrote fartdick69 from his own basement room. âI canât wait to finally meet the man who conquered the Minecraft universe. He must be the coolest guy in the world. His future wife will be the luckiest girl around. And maybe she has a friend sheâll introduce me to.â