Apple Watch Launch Cancelled as Apple Admits They Forgot to Include a Watch on the Watch
You wonât be able to watch Netflix on your wrist today after all as Apple Inc. announced today that a âdesign oversightâ will delay the launch of Apple Watch. They forgot to make the Watch a watch. As in it doesnât tell time. âWith all the amazing bells and whistle, we kinda forgot to include a watch on the Watch,â Apple CEO Tim Cook told CNN this morning. âEunice down in caretaking was the first one to notice the Apple Watch doesnât tell the time.â âMan, that was an oooops moment I tell yaâ.â  The smart-watch Apple Watch was scheduled to go on sale today after the company recently announced they had worked out all the glitches on the remote-control car starter, but the embarrassed company now says adding an actual watch will delay the launch until at least September. Features on the Apple Watch were to include 10 sensors that take health measurements of the wearer including heart rate, blood pressure and urine acidity levels but those were scrapped when testing showed the constant monitoring meant the battery had to be recharged every 2 hours. After a watch is added to the Watch, they are expected to retail for between $350 for the plastic model and up to $4,000 for the gold model with a 4-D hologram of Steve Jobs.  âThe Apple Watch that time forgot,â product analyst Dale Liverpool called it in a Wired Magazine post. âWho cares if you can take movie-quality videos with it if you have to ask some dude with a $19 Walmart watch what time it is?â  CEO Cook assured consumers the wait will be worth it and used the much-awaited media conference to instead announce an array of changeable straps in a variety of fashionable colors. âYou will be able to mix and match so your Apple Watch goes with any ensemble from business attire to Lululemon.â âSo youâll be lookinâ goodâ¦andâ¦yeahâ¦weâll fix it so youâll be able to tell what time it is.â âSorry.â