Twitter urged to consider treatment for arsehole infestation
Friends of social network Twitter are to have a quiet word to see if it plans on addressing what is obviously a really bad case of âcomplete arseholesâ. The microblogging platform appears to have let itself go in recent times, turning a seemingly blind eye to the fact that it now regularly reeks of rotten arseholes. As one friend of the platform explained, âLook, I love Twitter, and like any good friend Iâm going to have to tell them that they currently smell pretty bad.â âI donât know if they realise, but like your mate with bad breath weâre going to have to let them know in a subtle way, as people screaming âyou smelly bastardâ at it across the platform clearly isnât working.â âEvery time I see them thereâs a faint whiff of arsehole that follows it around. Itâs pretty disgusting.â âThey donât seem to realise what they actually look and smell like at the moment, so Iâm beginning to wonder if they own a single mirror?â Talksport presenter Stan Collymore said he has found himself infected with hundreds of arseholes, with Twitter being responsible for passing them on. He told reporters, âRight now Twitter donât seem to care that theyâre passing these arseholes on to their users.â âTheyâre not dealing with it, theyâre not taking responsibility and theyâre infecting everyone with arseholes whilst not giving the slightest toss about it.â Twitter said, âYeah, we know weâve got arseholes, and weâve given you a nice button to tell us when you see an arsehole wriggling around anywhere on us.â âOh, sorry? What happens when the button is actually pressed? Oh, well, Â thatâs not really important, is it.â âNo, the Twitter joke trial was different, we took that seriously because that Tweeter cost a business actual cash money rather than just an individual some emotional distress.â