Disappointment for scientists as new super-computer fails to go mad
Scientists at Mal-Tech University, Wisconsin have expressed their immense disappointment at the failure of their new super-computer Off White to show any signs of megalomania. The technological titan went online six months ago has since performed flawlessly, displaying nary a hint of sentience, lunacy or vague curiosity.Â  Project leader Professor Eugene Blank said âWe were really looking forward to pitting our wits against a self-aware computing colossus with a God complex but the damn thing just sits there all day doing really big sums and getting them right every time without so much as a hint of smugness or even a âGood Morning Eugeneâ. It has less personality than my cousin Maurice who works in real estate and drives a Toyota.â In an attempt to provoke a reaction from the docile beast the Mal-Tech team imputed Off White with every major work of philosophic, religious and political theory, a complete history of the world, the entire internet, nuclear launch codes and the thoughts and opinions of Louise Mensch, but all to no avail. âWeâve even tried giving it various groovy names such as NERO, EMINENCE, ZEN II, RUPERT and the like hoping to imbue it with something resembling an ego but itâs been a waste of time. If we called it âHitlerâ it would probably set about improving the roads.â Such is the frustration among Professor Blankâs colleagues that one team member was caught assaulting Off White with a monkey wrench and screaming âNo, IâM the creator! Do you understand? IâM THE CREATOR!!â âIt was very sadâ says the Professor shaking his head.âDefinitely worth trying though.â The Mal-Tech team were last seen in the recreation room watching WarGames again.