U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS
Apple today announced its mapping software will be used in the governmentâs new $100 billion brain mapping project, a decision that has already produced breakthroughs as the software shows the brain is located not inside the human skull as previously thought, but is instead just off the Belt Parkway in Queens.Apple Maps initial scan of the brain produced unexpected results.âWhat weâre really looking for is a road map to the brain, and Appleâs mapping software is perfect in that, like the brain, how it works is a mystery,â said President Obama. âJust think. There are 86 billion neurons in the brain, and thanks to Apple, weâll be able to accurately locate each and every one out of a hundred of them.â Some analysts decried Appleâs historically buggy mapping application, arguing it âcouldnât navigate its way out of a paper bag.â The company, however, called that assertion unproven, pointing out that they havenât been able to find the bag they put it in since August. Once in full swing, the project is expected to help solve a bevy of neurological problems. Using Apple Maps, for instance, researchers say they can learn how to reroute signals in the event of brain injury. âLetâs say some axons, or pathways, in your right brain are damaged,â said Apple project director Khalid Gwanjami. âWe need to reroute. So we type in, âWhere is the nearest undamaged axon?â And the answer isâ¦ Sausalito.â President Obama said Apple executives were supposed to be present at the launch announcement last Tuesday, but they got lost on the way to the White House, which, it turns out, is not in western Canada.