Churchill clone actually a bit of an arse
A JURASSIC Park-style clone of Winston Churchill has made Britons realise that the WW2 prime minister may have been anÂ arse. Scientists had hoped the clone would apply his legendary leadership skills to modern Britain, but he has mostly spent his time drinking port and planning daredevil missions for the RAF. Government scientist Julian Cook said: âAs a keen imperialist, cloned Winston was alarmed by the ISIS takeover of Iraq, or as he calls it, âthe Mesopotamian native uprisingâ. âHowever his solution was to bomb the entire region into submission with poison gas and install a colonial governor whose sole qualification was having been to Eton or Harrow. âWe also had a close call with a one-day teacherâs strike when it turned out cloned Winston was planning to send in the army and test out a new type of armoured car. âAnd Iâm sure his vast intake of champagne and brandy affects his judgement. It would certainly explain the memo âAtomic space dreadnoughts and robot-man cavalry to establish Mars bridgehead?ââ Insiders said cloned Churchill had also ruffled feathers with comments about women being âtoo daintyâ to vote and a plan to replace the âBolshevikâ NHS with âfresh air and exerciseâ. Cloned Churchill said: âPeople keep interrupting my speech-writing with nonsense about house prices, tuition fees and interviews with some insufferable little man called John Humphrys. âThat will change when I tell the Commons about my plan to recapture Australia.â