Chelsea Handler Desperately Needs Your Attention
Since the cancellation of Chelsea Handlerâs E! show, âChelsea Latelyâ, the foul-mouthed comedienne can be found scalding retinas en masse on Instagram. The soulless hussy has recently taken to posting a slew of topless photographs that blatantly disregard the free-to-use image sharing siteâs ToS. Handler, whose career is fading as fast as her looks, claims to be protesting patriarchal double standards by bombarding Instagram with dozens of wretch-inducing images. This, however, is merely a grotesque veil for the desperate tactics of a woman whose novelty has long since expired. Despite these glaring truths, nothing can detour the haggard narcissistic from reaching degrading new depths in order to obtain the media attention she so ferociously craves. Chelsea is no stranger to using her body to secure comedy gigs. A sultry flick depicting Handler with an unidentified male was being shopped around to various adult film studios in 2012. Handler finally addressed the video, admitting that it was created for use in one of her comedy audition tapes. Because thatâs supposed to be, you know, funny? I find it far more likely that Chelsea was advertising the perks one could expect if they were to book her atrocious comedy act. The female comedian is currently knocking down 40âs door, and looking far worse the wear. The damage done by alcoholism is evident in her raspy voice, and face thatâs reminiscent of a dry creak bed. Surely, a cheaper alternative to attending one of Handlerâs stand up events is braving the drunken yammering of virtually any war-torn, booze-soaked Southern California trollop. Itâs quite likely these lascivious images are the death throes of Handlerâs career; One final hideous and embarrassing farewell before her naked body can no longer sustain a career. And that, ladies and gentleman, is a prospect we can all look forward to.