Taylor Swift Incites New Feud Between Rival Gangs Crips, Bloods
A long list of Taylor Swiftâs ex-lovers has been leaked onto the internet, inciting renewed fighting between rival West Coast gangs, the Bloods and Crips. The tally included high percentages from the combined 60,000 members of both gangs, and as such, each gang considers Taylor to be their âterritoryâ. Immense revenge attacks are being waged, leading to concerns over deaths of innocent bystanders.âLots of gang members from both sides, all of whom allegedly slept with Swift at some point, have been killed,â reported eyewitness news correspondent, Lisa Mcintosh. âThe numbers of civilian deaths is not as yet known, but many people are speculating that the number could be in the triple digits.âUnsubstantiated rumors suggest that celebrities who have been involved with the âBlank Spaceâ singer have found asylum in police safehouses until the hostilities die down. Professional fame-by-association junkie, Harold Horvath, told reporters that his own evidence suggests this to be true.âIâve had no sightings of John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, Harry Styles, or Cory Monteith in days,â he explained. âNeither have any of my vast network installed in popular celebrity restaurants, outside their houses, or even at Victoria Secrets fashion shows.âTaylor Swift released a statement in response to the bloodshed. It read, âI am shocked and horrified of the war being waged on my account. However, I refuse to harbor the blame.âFriends of the singer agreed that sheâs doing really well to shake it off.âYou canât blame her for who she sleeps with,â said Claire Kowakian. âExcept for Taylor Lautner. She has no excuse for that one. I mean, who wants to sleep with someone who shares the same first name? When heâs crying out your name in bed, how can you be sure heâs not just super vain? Iâm just glad that all this ex-lover stuff might actually give her useable fodder for a new hit song.âMembers of both the Crips and Bloods have independently stated that the feud could soon be over as, âeveryone seems united in the belief that Taylor is insane.â