Facebook dick around with things to piss you off yet again
Continuing its relentless drive to ensure the continual discomfort of its users, the social networking site Facebook today announced a new raft of tweaks guaranteed to irritate the living crap out of everyone. Todayâs change was fairly subtle â the font of the news feed was made slightly smaller â yet was still just obtrusive enough to worry and annoy many millions of users. âWeâve recently been through a period of consolidation, where most people were becoming very familiar with how to use the site and correctly maintain their security settings,â explained founder Mark Zuckerberg, âSo we realised it was high time we fucked around with everything and pissed people off yet again.â âPeople ask why I canât just leave things the fuck alone, but itâs not as easy as that. Basically, Iâm an annoying turd who likes nothing better than to piss off his customers while squeezing every last drop of advertising revenue out of their private information. Itâs just who I am.â âWe find itâs the little things that really get on our usersâ tits, like changing the list of whoâs online to use tiny pictures rather than their names, so you canât see at a glance whoâs available any more. But weâre not neglecting the major things either â our new âGroupsâ feature allows you to create a group called âKiddyfiddlers Unitedâ and add it to anyoneâs profile â thatâll really piss people off. Or of course you could add your friends to the âGlobal Jihadâ group while theyâre on a flight to America â by the time they realise what youâve done, theyâll already have the CIA elbow-deep â we love that one.â âSo what of the future? We reckon itâll be a few months before people get happy with the latest version of the site, so weâre planning some big changes for the New Year. At the moment weâre torn between giving your phone number to advertisers, and making the âeâ key not work â which would piss you off the most?â