Macklemore Fans Confused By Fatherhood Announcement â Public Convinced Rapper Was Gay
Ben Haggerty, better known by his stage name, Macklemore, released a youtube video yesterday announcing his impending fatherhood to the masses. The video, which currently boasts over a million views, shocked many fans who were under the erroneous impression that the 31-year-old rapper is a homosexual. Though Macklemore has allegedly been engaged to longtime girlfriend, Tricia Davis, the public has remained in the dark regarding the rappersâ personal life, leading to the assumption that the lyricist is sexually attracted to members of his own sex. Adding fuel to the rampant speculation over his sexual orientation is the fact that Macklemore is constantly accompanied by his partner and producer, Ryan Lewis, whom most had assumed was his significant other, or âlife partnerâ, if you will. His flamboyant hairstyle, meticulously over-groomed appearance, as well as songs which were rife with white guilt also seemed to allude to the fact that olâ Mack is an accomplished power-bottom. Not so, apparently. Macklemore, who is a resident of Seattle, Washington, dashed the hopes of local gays after going public with the news that his wife-to-be did indeed have a miniature Maclemorian zygote marinating in her guts. I took a trip to a popular Seattle gay bar, the Man Hole, to gauge the homosexual communityâs reaction to the Macklemore announcement. âMacklemoreâs going to be a father? Never expected to hear that, unless it was followed by adoption with partner Ryan Lewis.â said Lance Tradger, host and DJ of a popular leather night which frequently plays Macklemoreâs music to hordes of sweaty, gyrating men. âThis has got to be some sort of hoax. Those lips werenât made for kissing women.â âI donât think the baby is his.â Shouts Jim T. over a blaring dance beat. âI know a gay man when I see one, and I assure you, that Macklemore is as gay as a baby unicorn dancing on a pixie dust rainbow. Iâve seen George Michael suck the custard out of an eclair at an âN Sync concert while staring Lance Bass lovingly in the eyes, and that has nothing on the level of gayness emitted from a single Macklemore performance.â Another fellow who refused to give his name said he hopes the baby is born black, adding, âIâm so sick of hearing him preach about white privilege. Just because a person is white doesnât mean they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth like this closet case.â âOh honey, if Macklemore is straight, then Iâm the reincarnation of Mother Theresaâ, proclaimed the flamboyantly dressed sister of perpetual indulgence, Sister Suxalotta Cox. âThat queen needs to come to terms with his sexuality asap.â The more people we spoke with, the more we realized how deeply members of the LGBTQ community felt betrayed by Macklemoreâs news. âI learned how to be gay from listening to Macklemoreâ, another club-goer told us, following with, âwhat business does he have writing songs about gay marriage when heâs nothing but a stinking breeder himself? Iâm sick of straight people playing homosexual just to make a buck off of gays and lesbians. Itâs despicable.â