Sellafield using stolen Pope blood to make super-villain
THE Sellafield nuclear plant has been closed so the reactor can be used to make a super-villain out of stolen Pope blood. Experts said it was âno coincidenceâ the plant was suddenly off limits just days after a vial of Pope John Paul IIâs blood was stolen from a castle on top of a mountain. Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: âWhen I heard the Papal blood had been stolen I said to my wife, ânext stop Sellafield â I wonder what excuse theyâll come up withâ. âA teaspoonful of the Pope blood will be combined with the nuclear reactions to create a diabolical megalomaniac who will stop at nothing. Itâs really bad.â Professor Brubaker added: âI warned the government about this, but they wouldnât listen. I think they might be in on it. âMichael Gove is probably inside the big ball thing at Sellafield, running his hands over the creatureâs glistening torso and grinning like a psychopath.â The professor said he would now have to create a superhero using one of Nelson Mandelaâs eyelashes, a microwave and a hurricane.