Most Elaborate Chinese Bank Heist On Record Thwarted By Buff Lifeguard
Unsuspecting swimmers at a beach about 300 miles southeast of Beijing were rightfully startled when they saw several women surface from the depths with ski masks on. Â Those interviewed later on the scene thought that the women may be experimenting with a new facial beauty treatment or just trying to keep their heads extra warm. Beefcake lifeguard, Liang Chen, quickly turned his attention away from rubbing his pulsing pectoral muscles with coconut tanning oil to take a second look. Â âSomething missed on top of women,â explained Chen. Â âDragon chicken headsuit never believed by me before and not now. Â I turned into a police force and grappled all 26 women with sand in their armpits.â Interpol later confirmed that this group of women was under constant surveillance. Â âChen acted quickly and then we arrived to support the mass arrests,â confirmed Interpol Chief Ronald Noble. Â âThese 12 women have been planning a multi site bank heist of epic proportions. Â They are smart. Â They are evil and they are determined. Â Those masks they wear emit some sort of signal that allows the women to pull all properties from the Five-eyed flounder and actually become fish. Â We believe their plan was to knock over several branches of the Bank of China and then disappear into the ocean for days and even months. Â The technology they have acquired to pull off this scheme is unprecedented and just plain scary. Â We got 12 of them but we know there are more out there. Â Our best scientists are studying these masks but they are befuddled at the powers the masks possess. Â Let me be completely up front and say that we do not have this situation under control.â Chinese banks are on full alert. Â All banks near any body of water have also been told to exercise extreme caution. Â A fisherman believed he pulled another one of these women up in his nets but it turned out to be a dead body with a badly decomposed face that looked similar to a mask. **Portions of the interview with Liang Chen may not be interpreted with complete accuracy. Â We had to translate our chat with him all by ourselves with a Chinese-English Dictionary and it was really hard. Â We did our best.**