Mr C banned from Billingsgate market for excessive âsalmonâ requests
Mr C, enigmatic frontman of early â90s rave outfit The Shaman, has been handed a lifetime ban from Billingsgate fish market, lawyers representing the vendorsâ association said today. The association lodged a formal complaint against the artist, real name Colin Angus, accusing him of habitually enquiring as to whether or not vendors stocked a certain product. He would then say âsortedâ and walk off without buying anything. âAt first we all had a laugh about it,â said one vendor. âHeâd walk up to Archie in stall 48 and ask about salmon, then heâd hop over to Eddie on 37 and ask him the same thing. Heâd just be walking from stall to stall all morning and we would just rip the piss out of him shouting âlaaaaavelyâ and âa ha ha ha haaaaâ and stuff like that, but after a few months it turned nasty. Heâd walk up to old biddies after trading and start turning out their trolleys looking for salmon.â Fishmonger Alfie Tullet added: âLast week he got stuck on repeat and just stood there for ages looking at a postbox and asking if it had any salmon, which it clearly didnât. We had to get one of the forklifts to come and move him over to the bus stop, it took him a fair old while to buy a ticket as well.â It is unclear whether or not Mr C ever found the salmon he was looking for, but thereâs no question that he was prepared to move mountains to find it. His whereabouts are unknown but the internet is awash with rumours that he is sheltering somewhere in the vicinity of Borough Market, possibly en route to Kings Cross where he can access the salmon-rich rivers of the North East. With mainstream options running out, anglers, small village fishmongers and dinner parties with a starter option have been urged to be on the lookout for Angus. A spokesperson for the Northumberland Constabulary stated: âWe have warned residents to keep their fish stocks in a secure location and not display any behaviour that could indicate to Mr Angus that they had any salmon. We will monitor the situation and decide if we also need to issue guidance on the possession of veras.â