NASA TURNS OFF SPACE TELESCOPES, GOES OUTSIDE
Saying everyone had spent more than enough time sitting in front of computer screens and TV monitors, NASA today abruptly turned off all its space telescopes and satellites and told scientists to go outside, for Godâs sake. With more than 85 missions suddenly gone black, the 18,000 astronomers, mathematicians, technicians and others did as they were told, but not without a lot of grumbling and whining. âJust 10 more minutes?â asked a team of astrophysicists at the Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland. âWeâre just getting to the good part of this spectrum test.â âNo!â their NASA administrator responded. âAnd take your friends from the European Space Agency with you.â At the Jet Propulsion laboratory in Pasadena, Cal., astronomers were interrupted right in the middle of observing their favorite star cluster, NGC 602. âBut stars are cool!â griped lead researcher Nicole Weiss as she bumped past her director and sulked out the door, followed by a group of sullen Cal Tech physicists. After initially complaining, some scientists actually enjoyed themselves. âLook, thereâs a star, right there, in the sky,â said her boss, pointing to the Sun. âIsnât that cool?â âOuch! It hurts my eyes,â whined Cal Tech Prof. Stephen Kielli. âLetâs go back inside and look at it on a monitor!â suggested Weiss. The U.S. space agency faced a similar reaction from scientists pouring over data from the Cassini spacecraft, which is studying Jupiterâs moon, Titan. âGo outside? But itâs raining,â argued planetary scientist Gilles Fouchier. âNo itâs not. Itâs a beautiful day,â replied his supervisor. âNot here. On Titan. Itâs raining benzene!â said Fouchier. âI donât care if itâs raining Benadryl, get outside!â barked his boss. âWell thatâs just dumb,â Fouchier muttered under his breath as he stalked down the hall. âIt canât rain Benadryl on Titan. Thereâs no diphenhydramine on Titan. Stupidhead.ââWhat was that?â said the supervisor.âNothing,â Fouchier mumbled. But outside the Johns Hopkins University Applied PhysicsÂ Laboratory, where a NASA-led team has been working on radiation belts, deputy project scientists Han Ni Po and Elsa Grindell were surprised as they emerged blinking into the sunlight. âWow, itâs summer,â said Han. âItâsâ¦ 2013,â noted Grindell. NASA said it would use the time âto clean up around here,â starting with the bathrooms, where, âthese geniuses, who can remember pi to 100 decimal places, somehow never remember to put the seat down.â