Bill Oddie âwill be nextâ, says massive cock
The world of 70â²s presenters was rocked again last night as details began to emerge of an undercover operation investigating a well-known âbird watcherâ. Bill Oddie, a once-popular comedian and childrenâs television presenter from the 1970s, is now thought to have a dark side. There have been accusations that Oddie liked to hide in the bushes, âsneaking up on birdsâ and staring at them intrusively. Indeed, Oddie has boasted of his exploits and openly admitted to âtwitchingâ while staring avidly through binoculars at his unwitting targets, some of whom were described as âsitting ducksâ. âIt is outrageous that this is still allowed to call us birds in this day and age,â complained one alleged victim, whose name has been withheld for legal reasons. âWe are hens or pens â although I hear he likes a nice cock too. I hope heâll be up before the beak before long, then heâll have to swallow his pride and will be made to âegret his fowl behaviour â¦ er â¦ um â¦ will this do?â Criminal charges are thought likely after fellow birding enthusiastsâ tweeted their outrage about Oddieâs âtitcamâ, which is now known to have beamed hardcore âpornithologicalâ videos into the homes of subscribers, many of whom have respectable jobs and family homes in the suburbs. Gratuitous reporting of Oddieâs frequent sightings of great tits, boobies and shags has outraged guardians of simple decency. Worse still, footage has even been broadcast by a complicit BBC showing Oddie creeping through the undergrowth stealthily, breathing hard and uttering such potentially incriminating double entendres as âCor! Look at these sweet fluffy chicks!â. In extreme examples, he has even shown evidence of an egg fetish and boasted of watching them âactually getting laidâ. \n