North Korea behind all one star reviews
In a state-sanctioned policy, North Korea has decided to undermine Western Civilisation by leaving âbitchyâ reviews for all media products. Having successfully forced Sony Pictures to delay the release of their movie âThe Interviewâ, North Korean hackers are set to turn their sights on undermining all we hold dear; such as the Twilight franchise, the novels of Dan Brown and the musical genius that is Justin Bieber. By trolling Amazon with âsnarkyâ customer reviews, Pyongyang officials have targeted bastions of directorial perspicacity like Michael Bay. With a series of grumpy comments, North Korea has unfairly reduced Bayâs âTransformersâ movies to: âA cacophonous blend of mind-numbing explosions, computer-generated nonsense and clumsy racial stereotypesâ. Which completely misrepresents a series of films which are subtle Edwardian dramas, exploring the bitter/sweet nature of the human condition through a series of metal groans and thuds. Of course, not every paltry âanonymousâ one star review can be blamed on North Korea, as James Cordenâs agent will confirm. One sceptical internet security expert explained: âThe lack of likes for your Facebook updates are not part of a global conspiracy, there is a genuine reason why no one reads your blog and Sony may have pulled that movie because it sucksâ. A spokesman for the CIA said: âWeâve conclusive proof that North Korea is besmirching otherwise flawless pieces of art. How else can you explain the negative critical reaction to Sonyâs âSmurfsâ. It cleared $700m worldwide; thereâs no way it was a just miniaturized version of that piece of sh@t Avatar.â To his own people the Supreme Leader is also known as the âOne Star Fairyâ, which is not a slight on his lack of military experience. In fact, the majority of negative online comments about âOne Directionâ albums can now be attributed to Kim Jong-Un, Taylor Swift and a 13-year-old from Slough.