The âiTopâ is killer application for Chinese iPad assembly line workers
They could be checking their tech stocks, downloading the latest world cup stats or just scanning the Guardian Online for coverage of their grim working conditions, but thereâs no doubt that Chinese workers are going literally crazy for the new iPad. Many are spending 16 hours a day on Appleâs latest empowering gadget. The iPad assembly line is the latest cool hang out for the Chinese tech warriors. A fully stamped punch card is the new âmust haveâ accessory for these new digitally empowered benefactors of Appleâs new democratising technology revolution.  The dexterity of these nimble fingered component executives has astounded and delighted the bean counters at the worlds biggest coolest technology company. But the most popular app among the Chinese assemblers is the âiTopâ, a routine in which the tired worker performs a passing out ceremony, to make way for a keener, hotter young buck to take his place on the factory floor.  On the assembly line the iTop is the killer iPad application. Described as the âto die forâ app for the far-seeing Chinese iPad assembly creative, the iTop suggests a way that the factory worker can bring his life to a climax and hopefully pass on to a better place. âPlus it uses your location to tell your family of the nearest and cheapest funeral parlour and how much his internal organs might fetch on the medical black market. They really have thought of everything!â âThe vendors of the iPad arenât selling a gadget. Theyâre selling an  aspiration,â said a spokesman for Apple. âAnd many of the component assembly executives dream of topping themselves. âTheyâre bringing the suicidalisation process into the 21st  century. â