Prison population queuing up to be Max Cliffordâs first âkiss and tellâ
As Max Clifford was found guilty of indecent assault, members of the British prison population have excitedly declared their interest in becoming the first âkiss-and-tellâ of the publicistâs impending incarceration. Clifford, who single handedly turned talentless morons and guilty parties into household names, is due to be sentenced for his crimes on Friday. Convicted armed robber, Frank Murphy expressed his elation at the prospect of exchanging a manly fumble at Her Majestyâs behest for a huge paycheck under the guise of ânewsâ. âMr Clifford says he has nothing to hide â and if the rumours about the size of his penis are anything to go by â he would appear to be telling the truth,â he told us. âThe thought of him bedding down for the evening beneath a cheap nylon blanket on a rock hard pillow doesnât just fill the general public with a warm feeling â that extends to us cons too.â âTo think that for the kind of invasion of privacy that he sought to exploit through his media interests could now be replicated by a troupe of hulking criminals for a large pot of honestly earned money, well.â âLetâs just say there are lots of fags being exchanged for vaseline as we speak.â Max Clifford guilty A lawyer for Mr Clifford declared his client as ambivalent to a spell behind bars. âReleasing a kiss-and-tell involving himself would however be uncharted territory.â âWhat?â âOh no â heâs never done a âfist-and-tellâ before.â