NASA to Scrap Venus Trip, Using Funds to Study Bruce Jenner
NASA officials have made the unprecedented announcement regarding the transition a large sum of funds from space exploration to a more terrestrial endeavor. In a recent press release, the plan was made clear. âWe have decided to move funds from space exploration to study Bruce Jenner.âOfficials at the National Aeronautics and Space Association stated that the move was decided after a series of groundbreaking feats went relatively unnoticed by the US public. According to officials, NASA must remain more mindful of its popularity to retain funding. Thus, drastic steps must be made to stay in the limelight.âWe simply have to stay relevant to todayâs society. In order to do so, we have to be aware of what is popular â what fascinates people,â said Mission Director J.D. Harrington. âWhat fascinates people right now is Bruce Jenner.âJenner recently made waves regarding his interest in transforming into a woman. NASA officials made it clear that their funding the exploration of the former Olympic star were not an unfocused mocking, but instead a true scientific endeavor.âThis isnât a cheap ploy at all. Nor is it an attempt to demean the transgender community,âHarrington explained firmly. âThe fact is, plenty of people are interested in this. Many are unaware of the transgender process or how it works. In a lot of ways it is more mysterious than space, and NASA has the funds to study this situation and process.âWhen asked about the recent finding of Ceres, a dwarf planet in the solar system, as well as the landing on the Rosetta Comet, Harrington was once again frank.âSure, we found a new planet-sized object in the asteroid belt. And yes, we landed a machine on a [expletive] asteroid. But no big deal. Itâs clear the two most talked about spherical objects in our solar system are on Jennerâs chest. So I guess weâll just need to study those. Why not cover something that costs less money and seems to interest people?âNASA has scrapped an upcoming mission to Venus in order to send a probe to orbit Jenner for six weeks. The shuttle is set to launch early next month, weather permitting.