Google to digitize and store usersâ sexy dreams
A popular new Google app called âDreamTimeâ digitizes usersâ sexy dreams and stores them in a database available to the public. The appâs creators say making sexy dreams public is a step toward overcoming the old-fashioned notion that whatever hot fantasies we create while we sleep belong to us. While sexy dreams have long been written down and published â the âFifty Shades of Greyâ trilogy is a notable example â until recently, most were hoarded in peopleâs minds. With DreamTime, users will now be able to share and compare their dreams about, say, a beautiful Portuguese hairdresser named Sandy who, in the middle of cutting your hair, says, âWould you like to see the tattoo of Betty Page on my chest?â Sources say Google will link DreamTime with facial recognition systems, so that Google users will be able to search for sexy dreams connected to particular people, or even composites of people. This will allow you to know who is having what sorts of nasty dreams about you. âThe possibilities are endlessâ said Teresa Drummond, who leads the DreamTime project. âImagine youâre having a recurring dream about a colleague from accounts, Darnell, in which he asks you to bring him a copy of an invoice, but when you get to his office, youâre suddenly at the lacrosse camp from when you were sixteen years old, and Darnell is the coach, but heâs there with his wife, who for some reason canât walk. In the middle of a drill he takes off his shirt and asks you â in a weird David Beckham accent â to cook an egg on his back, which is some sort of test that the older girls have spoken about, but youâre really scared because you donât know if youâre supposed to say âI only cook eggs at homeâ or âare the eggs free-range?â But it doesnât matter, because his wife shows up and sheâs in a wheelchair thatâs got all these chrome pieces that look like spikes, and now youâre buried with just your head sticking up and sheâs about to run you over. But then Darnell tells her their marriage isnât legal, because he intentionally misspelled his name on the marriage certificate, so she miraculously stands up and says, âI have secrets, too,â and she runs away, and apparently sheâs got a double life as an Olympic sprinter. Then Darnell digs a big hole in the sand, because now youâre at the beach, and the the two of you fall into the hole and roll around like crabs about to mate.â âI mean, with DreamTime,â Drummond added, âif Darnell just Googles his name, heâll see that although weâre not close to each other, we can rectify that.â