Pharmaceutical Companies Partner With Big-Tobacco, Create E-Cigarette To Treat Depression
It appears Big-Pharma has gotten into bed with Big-Tobacco, as plans emerge for a new line of prescription only, non-nicotine e-cigarettes. Instead of popping Prozac pills with their morning coffee, depression and anxiety sufferers may be able to choose an antidepressant that works like an e-cigarette.Denise Richards, of the manufacturer E-Relax, explains the benefits. âThe water vapor delivery system helps satisfy oral-fixation, while delivering low doses of medicine that you can control. Stressful meeting at work? Puff some relief at your desk,â she said. âBoth our companies are big supporters of the Health Care Act. Americans are unhappy, butÂ now theyâre insured!âWhen asked why their prescription drug company would partner with a tobacco company, she replied, âWell, theyâve been pushing legal drugs forever now. They know how to acquire a loyal lifelong customer.âA representative for Phillip-Morris, the largest manufacturer of tobacco products, said that things are taking a turn for the worse in the world of cigarettes, and that they needed to be prepared.âAs a company, we have to face the fact that tobacco is going to be illegal someday. Theyâre legalizing weed in all these states all the time, and our lousy tobacco cigarettes canât hold a candle to smoking a marijuana cigarette,â said Jim Rogers, cigarette lobbyist. âPeople are switching in droves. Obviously, our brand is dying. We canât advertise on TV or radio anymore. Next will be magazines, Iâm sure. Hell, We canât even sell to children anymore!ââPlus, we were never able to get into the safe cigarette market, since making a âsafe alternativeâ would be admitting cigarettes were harmful,â said Peter Jacobs, a health expert working for Phillip-Morris. âWe had to protect our own asses. We once tried making a nicotine-free version of a cigarette, but seriously, thatâs like decaf coffee â people will still drink it, but whyâs the point?ââSlinging antidepressants will allow us to break into that juicy, angsty-teen market,â explained Rogers. âNow they can look cool while taking their medicine. We eventually hope to expand the line to include ADHD medication, which we know would make us a boatload of cash with the kids.â79-year-old Myles Martin says, âI love the idea. I used to be a smoker, and I miss it sometimes. I need my depression meds, but now I can just smoke it, and relive my glory days. I hope they make it for my E.D., next. Thereâs nothinâ sexy about poppinâ my little blue pill in the same manner as my blood thinner, but every woman will be turned on if Iâm taking puffs off an e-cig.â