Headline Words
Headline Words
[White Hat, Megan, Cueball, and Ponytail stand in a row, with White Hat and Megan facing toward the right and Cueball and Ponytail facing toward the left.] Megan: Maybe Rob shouldn't host the party. He has cats and some of us are allergic. Cueball: Wow, major snub for widely-touted top spot as lavish gala bid nixed. Megan: Why are you talking so weird? Please stop. Cueball: Ill-advised scheme mulled as tension mounts amid growing backlash.
[Caption below the panel:] My project to speak only in weird headline words didn't last long.

White Hat , Megan , Cueball and Ponytail are planning a party. Megan mentions that the party was planned to be at Rob's place, but that this might not be a good idea, since he has cats, and some of the participants in the party are allergic to cats. This is a valid reason [1] . Seems likely that Megan is one of those that are allergic. Usually Rob is drawn as Cueball, but it is not necessarily Rob that is present, it could just be a discussion among some of the friends that are supposed to come to the party.
Cueball then replies to this in news-commentary fashion, using words and phraseologies that are common in headlines but rare in day-to-day use. This is strange enough to prompt Megan to ask him to stop. He continues though, although the gist of his second line is that he will stop speaking that way.
That this is indeed the case and what he is actually trying to do is explained in the comics caption. It states that Cueball's project was to speak in weird headline words. And that the project did not last for long.
News headlines are often very dramatic explanations of minor events; so are the things Cueball says here. Furthermore, some newspapers write their headlines in a stylized way which relies heavily on shorter words (such as "nixed" for "rejected"), often uses cliches (such as "tension mounts") and omits 'unnecessary' grammatical padding, a style colloquially known as Headlinese .
See below for explanation of his headlines.
The title text continues with a final headline statement from Cueball, telling everyone that the project was halted. Probably permanently.
Here each of the three headlines will be explained. Several of the words used are listed in the wiki article on Headlinese.
Wow, major snub for widely-touted top spot as lavish gala bid nixed.
According to the list of words: "snub" means to reject; "tout" can mean to suggest something, for approval; here, a "bid" means an attempt; and "nix" also means to put to an end/not allow to happen. The "top spot" is a venue which has status and popularity, while a "lavish gala" is an expensive/impressive festive celebration, in this case being a party.
Translating it step by step to more normal English:
Almost literal word replacement:
"Wow, a significant rejection for a widely suggested venue, which was looking like it was going to be used. Their attempt to host the party will probably fail now"
Trim excess words:
"This is a big surprise. We have had a significant rejection for the most widely suggested and popular venue. This means they probably won't host the party."
What he probably meant:
"Gosh, having heard that, it looks like Rob probably won't host the party after all."

Ill-advised scheme mulled as tension mounts amid growing backlash.
We can use a similar process, along with the list of words, to translate it step by step to more normal English:
Almost literal word replacement:
"This idea wasn't well thought-out and I'm now reconsidering it as I feel pressured to stop by your increasingly negative reactions"
Apply more context and rearrange:
"This idea wasn't well thought-out, and your reactions are making me uneasy, so I should probably stop"
What he probably meant:
"This was a bad idea and I can tell that you won't tolerate this much longer, so I should probably stop."

Roundly-condemned headlinese initiative shuttered indefinitely. (title text)
This time the sentence yields to relatively trivial word replacement:
"Nobody liked me trying to speak like this, so I'm going to stop forever."
What he probably meant:
"You all clearly hate me doing this, so I'll stop."
[White Hat, Megan, Cueball, and Ponytail stand in a row, with White Hat and Megan facing toward the right and Cueball and Ponytail facing toward the left.] Megan: Maybe Rob shouldn't host the party. He has cats and some of us are allergic. Cueball: Wow, major snub for widely-touted top spot as lavish gala bid nixed. Megan: Why are you talking so weird? Please stop. Cueball: Ill-advised scheme mulled as tension mounts amid growing backlash.
[Caption below the panel:] My project to speak only in weird headline words didn't last long.
