Base System
Base System
[At the top there is a four panel regular comic strip.] [Cueball and Ponytail are talking; Ponytail is sitting on the back of a chair with her feet on the seat, and Cueball is sitting on the floor facing her.] Ponytail: So how far did you get with her? Cueball: Second base?
[Zoom in on Ponytail on the chair.] Ponytail: Wait, which one is that? Below the waist, but... not under the clothes? Cueball (off-panel): I think that's... shortstop?
[In a frameless panel, Cueball now almost lies down and Ponytail is sitting on the armrest of the chair.] Ponytail: You should try crossing the pitcher's mound. Then down the 50-yard line, and right past her ten-pin. Cueball: Sounds tricky.
[Again a zoom in on Ponytail now on the armrest.] Ponytail: Yeah. Last time I tried it, I got a red flag. If you know what I mean. Cueball (off-panel): I really don't.
[Below the strip there is a large frame with a diagram of a baseball diamond.] [At the bottom left there is a box with tis text:] The "Base" Metaphor Explained
[Bases are pointed too with thick black arrows (except home plate) and there are also arrows pointing to different parts of the diagram. All arrows and points marked with "x" have a description, as do the dashed lines covering the field. Below they will be listed anti-clockwise from the home plate.]
[Along the line towards first base is the following five items in the order they appear:] [x slightly right of home plate:] Eye contact [Black arrow pointing to a base half way to first base outside the line:] Your Base [x inside the line opposite your base] Passing notes [Black arrow pointing to a base further along and outside the line:] 0110 0010 0110 0001 0111 0011 0110 0101 0010 0000 0011 0010 [x Slightly before first base:] Downloading Star Trek fanfiction and replacing Riker's name with your crush's.
[Black arrow pointing to first base:] First base: Kissing
[Further along the line past the first base is one x point in the right outfield:] Eye contact from Janeane Garofalo.
[On the way towards second base there are the following two items:] [A region along the line from first to second has been marked off by a dotted line. It has the following text written inside:] The boring zone. [x some way inside the line next to the boring zone:] Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse
[Black arrow pointing to second base:] Second base: Hands under the shirt and/or licking
[On the route from second to third base are eight items:] [A dotted line traveling from near the outfield above second base, then crossing the second baseline about 1/3 of the way to third base, snaking its way almost down to the home plate ending close to the third baseline. The following text is written along the dotted line inside the diamond:] The orgasm line [Above second base a large black arrow crosses the orgasm line near the outfield:] Napoleon's forces [x below the Napoleon arrow right before crossing the orgasm line:] Fursuits [Two arrows points to the second base line on each side of the orgasm line:] Hands on the pants Hands in the pants [x some way into the diamond just past the orgasm line:] Dry humping [x same distance down the second base line as dry humping, but equally far outside the line still infield:] Fursuits (crotchless) [x almost at the extension of the 3rd base line close to the outfield:] Standing anywhere near Peaches
[In the left outfield there are two x points:] [x in the outfield halfway along the second base line:] Retrograde wheelbarrow [x in the outfield almost at the extension of the third base line:] 2outfielders1glove.
[Foul of the third base line just left of where the grass line divides the in- and outfield:] Anal sex (fill in your own "foul ball" pun here.)
[Black arrow pointing to third base:] Third base: Oral sex (formerly "hands in the pants")
[On the route from third to home plate there are four items:] [Between third base and home there is a dotted line that makes a curve from right outside the third base line and ends right afer it has crossed the orgasm line. The text is written inside the diamond with the first word above and the other two below the dotted line:] "Virginity" (Maginot) line [A large black arrow curves around the end of the "Virginity" line outside of the diamond:] Teens [A large black arrow points from outside the diamond to a point right between home plate and the virginity line:] Sharing root PWs [x just before home plate at the end of the orgasm line inside the diamond:] Thigh contact

This comic comes in two parts and is a pun on the baseball metaphor used to describe how far a date went regarding erotic actions. Many different versions of the baseball metaphor exist, with varying degrees of complexity. But it has rarely been described with as many details as the one drawn by Randall in this comic.
In the first part, a four frame strip along the top, Ponytail and Cueball discuss how Cueball's date went. When Cueball answers Ponytail's question with "second base", Ponytail asks what that means exactly. They fumble around with the definition in panel two where Ponytail ask is that Below the waist, but... not under the clothes? Cueball tries to put this into the base system and suggest that this could be compared to the difficult shortstop fielding position in baseball, between 2nd and 3rd base. This fits with the position of Hands on the pants metaphor from the picture below the comic strip. Then Ponytail begins with yet another base analogy by mentioning crossing the pitcher's mound , but then suddenly she brings two more, very different, sports into the metaphor: American football (with the 50 yard line) and bowling (with the ten-pin ). It certainly sounds tricky, as Cueball says. Ponytail then brings up a third sport in her elaboration; her reference to getting a "red flag" could refer to different sports, as many sports use flags , some of them red. It is, however, most likely a reference to racing in motor sport as the red flag is displayed when conditions are too dangerous to continue the session. This makes sense when looking at the "translation" here below. Cueball, however, has not got a clue which he expresses when Ponytail asks him If you know what I mean. (Note that this comic came out less than a week after Super Bowl XLIII , the final game of the 2008 NFL season , which was played on 2009-02-01).
Here is a possible translation of Ponytails comment:
Original: You should try crossing the pitcher's mound . Then down the 50-yard line , and right past her ten-pin . Translation: You should try crossing her pubic mound , then down the landing strip , and right past her clitoris . Original: Last time I tried it, I got a red flag . Translation: Last time I tried it, she had her period .
This would mean that Ponytail was about to go down on another girl, while this girl had her period. Many people would find it disgusting to go down on a girl while she was menstruating, explaining why Ponytail brought it up when Cueball said Sounds tricky . However, Cueball doesn't seem to understand Ponytail's metaphors, explaining his replies of Sounds tricky and I really don't .
The second part, the diagram, depicts a much more complex version of the baseball metaphor, where baseball terms and jargon are used to describe the many and varied things human beings like to do in the bedroom. Explanations have been separated by position. In order to understand the terms used, one may want to consult this picture:

Note that Randall did not include any features from within the diamond; the pitchers mound or plate.
The " diamond " is the geometric pattern formed by the four bases - first, second, third, and home plate . Through the course of one side's turn (half of an "inning") players have a chance to move from one base to the next base in line: from first, to second, to third, and finally to home plate (scoring only if they make it to home plate). Thus there is a "progression" from one base to the next of sexual activity in the metaphor, until climax is achieved (getting to 'home plate' and 'scoring a run'). In both cases, players can be removed before making it to the next "base" in the sequence.
The entries in this section are ordered roughly from home plate to first, to second, to third, and then to home plate again, in the counterclockwise direction that the players move.
Inside the diamond, at the center of the mound, is the pitcher. Several odd positions are placed here in Randall's diagram.
The infield is the part of the baseball field which is inside the baserunning paths (not inside the lines between the bases, because baserunners are allowed to run a certain distance outside those lines).
The " outfield " is a group of players who are there to catch the ball if it goes away from the main play area (anything outside the upper curving line) and return it to play in a manner advantageous to their team. As they separated away from the main play area, the things in the outfield are often references to sexual behaviors that are "kinky" and "out there".
A foul ball occurs when a ball ends up in foul territory which is outside the foul line extending from either side of the diamond, the area is "out of play". Anyone who takes the ball into this area has committed a foul, and as such breached one of the acceptable rules of sexual conduct in the metaphor.
If you are together with a basketball player and then tell her that you are now at second base , she might become very confused as bases are not an element in basketball. Also there is the joke that basketball players never get laid because they always jump before they score.
[At the top there is a four panel regular comic strip.] [Cueball and Ponytail are talking; Ponytail is sitting on the back of a chair with her feet on the seat, and Cueball is sitting on the floor facing her.] Ponytail: So how far did you get with her? Cueball: Second base?
[Zoom in on Ponytail on the chair.] Ponytail: Wait, which one is that? Below the waist, but... not under the clothes? Cueball (off-panel): I think that's... shortstop?
[In a frameless panel, Cueball now almost lies down and Ponytail is sitting on the armrest of the chair.] Ponytail: You should try crossing the pitcher's mound. Then down the 50-yard line, and right past her ten-pin. Cueball: Sounds tricky.
[Again a zoom in on Ponytail now on the armrest.] Ponytail: Yeah. Last time I tried it, I got a red flag. If you know what I mean. Cueball (off-panel): I really don't.
[Below the strip there is a large frame with a diagram of a baseball diamond.] [At the bottom left there is a box with tis text:] The "Base" Metaphor Explained
[Bases are pointed too with thick black arrows (except home plate) and there are also arrows pointing to different parts of the diagram. All arrows and points marked with "x" have a description, as do the dashed lines covering the field. Below they will be listed anti-clockwise from the home plate.]
[Along the line towards first base is the following five items in the order they appear:] [x slightly right of home plate:] Eye contact [Black arrow pointing to a base half way to first base outside the line:] Your Base [x inside the line opposite your base] Passing notes [Black arrow pointing to a base further along and outside the line:] 0110 0010 0110 0001 0111 0011 0110 0101 0010 0000 0011 0010 [x Slightly before first base:] Downloading Star Trek fanfiction and replacing Riker's name with your crush's.
[Black arrow pointing to first base:] First base: Kissing
[Further along the line past the first base is one x point in the right outfield:] Eye contact from Janeane Garofalo.
[On the way towards second base there are the following two items:] [A region along the line from first to second has been marked off by a dotted line. It has the following text written inside:] The boring zone. [x some way inside the line next to the boring zone:] Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse
[Black arrow pointing to second base:] Second base: Hands under the shirt and/or licking
[On the route from second to third base are eight items:] [A dotted line traveling from near the outfield above second base, then crossing the second baseline about 1/3 of the way to third base, snaking its way almost down to the home plate ending close to the third baseline. The following text is written along the dotted line inside the diamond:] The orgasm line [Above second base a large black arrow crosses the orgasm line near the outfield:] Napoleon's forces [x below the Napoleon arrow right before crossing the orgasm line:] Fursuits [Two arrows points to the second base line on each side of the orgasm line:] Hands on the pants Hands in the pants [x some way into the diamond just past the orgasm line:] Dry humping [x same distance down the second base line as dry humping, but equally far outside the line still infield:] Fursuits (crotchless) [x almost at the extension of the 3rd base line close to the outfield:] Standing anywhere near Peaches
[In the left outfield there are two x points:] [x in the outfield halfway along the second base line:] Retrograde wheelbarrow [x in the outfield almost at the extension of the third base line:] 2outfielders1glove.
[Foul of the third base line just left of where the grass line divides the in- and outfield:] Anal sex (fill in your own "foul ball" pun here.)
[Black arrow pointing to third base:] Third base: Oral sex (formerly "hands in the pants")
[On the route from third to home plate there are four items:] [Between third base and home there is a dotted line that makes a curve from right outside the third base line and ends right afer it has crossed the orgasm line. The text is written inside the diamond with the first word above and the other two below the dotted line:] "Virginity" (Maginot) line [A large black arrow curves around the end of the "Virginity" line outside of the diamond:] Teens [A large black arrow points from outside the diamond to a point right between home plate and the virginity line:] Sharing root PWs [x just before home plate at the end of the orgasm line inside the diamond:] Thigh contact
