Guest Week Zach Weiner (SMBC)
Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum: The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement
(Click to view exhibits!)
The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.
Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children. Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.
Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together. Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.
Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both. Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.
Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him. Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!
Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened. Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.
Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere. Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.
Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it. Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then. Dad, to child: Told you so.
Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling. Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!
The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.
Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed. Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.
Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it. Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.
Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder. Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.
Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed. Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.
The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.
Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating. Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".
Booth: A concession stand. Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground. Dad, to child: Told you.
Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye. Booth label: EYES CREAM Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled? Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.
The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.
Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon. Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.
Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows. Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.
Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it. Exhibit label: The Renaissance Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.
Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard. Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously. Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.
The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.
Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label. Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.
Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle. Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it. Dad: You're welcome.
Exhibit: A large bird. Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.
Exhibit: A rocket ship. Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.
In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.
Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton. Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES. Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.
Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines. Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right. Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.
Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign. First door (male logo): Men & Boys Second door (female logo): Women & Girls Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zach Weiner (now Weinersmith), following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal . The original comic is interactive. It will show images of the exhibits (see below) by clicking on them.
The entire comic is a hypothetical " Smithsonian Museum of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is a common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."
Guest Week was a series of five comics written by five other comic authors. They were released over five consecutive days (Monday-Friday); not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. The five comics are:

Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell their children to frighten them about food.
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.
In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum: The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement
(Click to view exhibits!)
The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.
Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children. Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.
Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together. Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.
Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both. Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.
Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him. Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!
Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened. Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.
Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere. Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.
Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it. Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then. Dad, to child: Told you so.
Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling. Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!
The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.
Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed. Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.
Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it. Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.
Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder. Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.
Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed. Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.
The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.
Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating. Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".
Booth: A concession stand. Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground. Dad, to child: Told you.
Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye. Booth label: EYES CREAM Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled? Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.
The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.
Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon. Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.
Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows. Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.
Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it. Exhibit label: The Renaissance Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.
Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard. Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously. Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.
The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.
Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label. Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.
Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle. Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it. Dad: You're welcome.
Exhibit: A large bird. Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.
Exhibit: A rocket ship. Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.
In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.
Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton. Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES. Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.
Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines. Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right. Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.
Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign. First door (male logo): Men & Boys Second door (female logo): Women & Girls Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs
