Cell Phone Functions
Cell Phone Functions
[A graph with time on the x-axis and items Randall replaced with his smartphone on the y-axis. For each item, the time he (allegedly) replaced it is marked; the marks form a jagged line down the graph, roughly sorted by when he switched. The regions are marked] I have a specific device for this [and] I just use my phone [items where the switch-over date is in the past:] Telephone Web Browser Camera Newspaper Flashlight TV Remote Credit Card Car Key [items where the switch-over date is in the future:] Dog Leash Steering Wheel Band-Aid Cheese Grater Stapler Nail Clipper Electric Drill Toothbrush
[The x-axis (time) shows at point labelled as 'now' roughly halfway along the graph, a grey dashed line runs vertically down the whole graph. Car Keys have just been replaced by a phone, all other items listed below that have yet to be replaced. For the most part the gradient of the trend is constant at around -1. The last item (Toothbrush) is replaced before the penultimate item (Electric Drill)]

This comic pokes fun at the ever-increasing function of smartphones and their users' reliance on them through an unusual horizontal bar graph showing what services a smartphone provides (or will provide) that were performed by other devices in the past and when the switch took or will take place. It starts sensibly: Calling, browsing the Internet, and taking pictures are the most prominent examples of tasks that many if not most people use a smartphone instead of a specific device nowadays. The next item, newspaper, extends the Internet's capabilities (either from within the mobile browser or as a dedicated app), and the next, flashlight, repurposes the phone camera's flash unit; both are now commonplace features of smartphones. Some people even use their smartphone as the remote for their TV (either via RF wireless [e.g., WiFi] for smart TVs, or via their phone's infrared port) or to pay in stores using payment providers like Google Play Wallet, Samsung Pay, or Apple Pay, which utilize the near-field communication functionality of modern smartphones. A few cars now support using a phone app instead of a key fob, rendering yet another item obsolete; apparently, Randall just started using this feature in his car, as this item is in the very recent past in the comic's diagram.
Then the comic drifts off into smartphone capabilities either not yet possible or likely never to be possible. These capabilities are right of the "now" mark, meaning Randall has not switched to using a smartphone for them: One cannot currently use a phone app as a dog leash, nor as an adhesive bandage. While using a phone as a steering wheel is possible (likely interfacing with the car's self-driving features), it would be a reversal of current initiatives to prevent drivers from using cell phones while driving. Things get increasingly odd, to the point where a smartphone is allegedly used as a toothbrush. Several items would require physical changes to the phone and not just repurposing existing capabilities, such as operating as a cheese grater, stapler or nail clipper, which would make the phone look and feel more like a Swiss Army Knife instead. [ citation needed ]
The title text continues this path by continuing the list of objects his phone will supposedly replace. These include a "tazer" (a misspelling of taser ), a fire extinguisher, a bird feeder, and toilet paper, continuing the path of absurdity the comic implies with its supposed future uses for a phone.
[A graph with time on the x-axis and items Randall replaced with his smartphone on the y-axis. For each item, the time he (allegedly) replaced it is marked; the marks form a jagged line down the graph, roughly sorted by when he switched. The regions are marked] I have a specific device for this [and] I just use my phone [items where the switch-over date is in the past:] Telephone Web Browser Camera Newspaper Flashlight TV Remote Credit Card Car Key [items where the switch-over date is in the future:] Dog Leash Steering Wheel Band-Aid Cheese Grater Stapler Nail Clipper Electric Drill Toothbrush
[The x-axis (time) shows at point labelled as 'now' roughly halfway along the graph, a grey dashed line runs vertically down the whole graph. Car Keys have just been replaced by a phone, all other items listed below that have yet to be replaced. For the most part the gradient of the trend is constant at around -1. The last item (Toothbrush) is replaced before the penultimate item (Electric Drill)]
