Game AIs
Game AIs
[A diagram with a caption above the diagram. The left column describes various levels of skill for the most capable computers in decreasing performance against humans.  The right side lists games in each particular section, in increasing game difficulty.  There are labels denoting the hard and easy ends of the diagram.]
Caption: Difficulty of Various Games for Computers
Top of Diagram: Easy
Solved Computers can play perfectly
Solved for all possible positions
Tic-tac-toe Nim Ghost (1989) Connect Four (1995)
Solved for starting positions
Gomoku Checkers (2007)
Computers can beat top humans
Scrabble CounterStrike Beer Pong (UIUC robot) Reversi Chess
February 10, 1996: First win by computer against top human November 21, 2005: Last win by human against top computer
Jeopardy
Computers still lose to top humans (but focused R&D could change this)
StarCraft Poker Arimaa Go
Computers may never outplay humans
Snakes and Ladders Mao Seven Minutes in Heaven Calvinball
Bottom of Diagram: Hard

To understand the comic, you have to understand what the games are, so let's go (but first, the years in parenthesis in the comic are the year that the game was mastered by a computer):
These games are considered "solved", meaning the ideal maneuver for each game state (Tic-Tac-Toe, Connect Four) or each of the limited starting positions (Checkers) has already been calculated. Computers aren't so much playing as they are recalculating the list of ideal maneuvers. The same could be said for the computer's human opponent, just at a slower pace.
Black plays first, and players alternate in placing a stone of their color on an empty intersection. The winner is the first player to get an unbroken row of five stones horizontally, vertically, or diagonally.
The below games have not been "solved". Some of them may be solved some day, but the large number of possible moves has so far prevented this from being done. Others cannot be "solved" due to the influence of randomness or the existence of multiple "ideal" maneuvers for each position. That said, a computer's faster reaction time, higher degree of consistency in making the right decision, and reduced risk of user error make the computer objectively better than the human opponent in nearly all situations.
Here's the video of the University of Illinois robot mentioned in the comic.
The note mentions "the first game to be won by a chess-playing computer against a reigning world champion under normal chess tournament conditions", in the Deep Blue versus Garry Kasparov match on February 10, 1996, and the Ponomariov vs Fritz game in the Man vs Machine World Team Championship on November 21, 2005, considered the "last win by a human against top computer".
Ken Jennings, mentioned in the title text, is a famous Jeopardy champion who was beaten by Watson , an IBM computer. This was an exhibition match featuring Jennings, Brad Rutter, and Watson that took place in February 2011.
The below games are incredibly difficult to "solve" due to the near-infinite number of possible positions. Computers built in the early 21st century would take years to calculate a single "ideal" move. Worse, the human opponent has the ability to "bluff"; that is, to make a bad move, thus baiting the computer into a trap. Complex algorithms have been devised to make moves in a reasonable timeframe, but so far they are all highly vulnerable to bluffing. As mentioned in the comic, focused research and development is working on refining these algorithms to play the games better.
As the game is focused on human interaction, there's not a whole lot a modern computer can do in the closet. It would need some kind of robotic body in order to interact with its human partner, and emotion engines that could feel pleasure and displeasure in order to make decisions. The title text claims that Honda Motor Company has invented a " RealDoll " (sex toy shaped like a mannequin) with rudimentary Seven Minutes in Heaven capabilities, but they pale in comparison to a human's (specifically, Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings).
And finally
Calvinball is a game played by Calvin and Hobbes as a rebellion against organized team sports; according to Hobbes, "No sport is less organized than Calvinball!" Calvinball was first introduced to the readers at the end of a 1990 storyline involving Calvin reluctantly joining recess baseball. It quickly became a staple of the comic afterwards. The only hint at the true creation of the game ironically comes from the last Calvinball strip, in which a game of football quickly devolves into a game of Calvinball. Calvin remarks that "sooner or later, all our games turn into Calvinball," suggesting a similar scenario that directly led to the creation of the sport. Calvin and Hobbes usually play by themselves, although in one storyline Rosalyn (Calvin's baby-sitter) plays in return for Calvin doing his homework, and plays very well once she realizes that the rules are made up on the spot. The only consistent rules state that Calvinball may never be played with the same rules twice, and you need to wear a mask, no questions asked. Scoring is also arbitrary, with Hobbes at times reporting scores of "Q to 12" and "oogy to boogy." The only recognizable sports Calvinball resembles are the ones it emulates (i.e., a cross between croquet, polo, badminton, capture the flag, and volleyball.) Long story short, the game is a manifestation of pure chaos and the human imagination, far beyond the meager capabilities of silicon and circuitry, at least so far. The closest thing you could possibly get is having an AI automatically generate rules on the fly, similar to something like the currently-existent AI Dungeon or a similarly robust text algorithm; but even still, the computer would be unable to act upon these new rules in that state.
[A diagram with a caption above the diagram. The left column describes various levels of skill for the most capable computers in decreasing performance against humans.  The right side lists games in each particular section, in increasing game difficulty.  There are labels denoting the hard and easy ends of the diagram.]
Caption: Difficulty of Various Games for Computers
Top of Diagram: Easy
Solved Computers can play perfectly
Solved for all possible positions
Tic-tac-toe Nim Ghost (1989) Connect Four (1995)
Solved for starting positions
Gomoku Checkers (2007)
Computers can beat top humans
Scrabble CounterStrike Beer Pong (UIUC robot) Reversi Chess
February 10, 1996: First win by computer against top human November 21, 2005: Last win by human against top computer
Jeopardy
Computers still lose to top humans (but focused R&D could change this)
StarCraft Poker Arimaa Go
Computers may never outplay humans
Snakes and Ladders Mao Seven Minutes in Heaven Calvinball
Bottom of Diagram: Hard
