All-in-One
All-in-One
[A large printer-like machine, with the label All-in-One Paper Processor on the top left of it. There are three columns of functions, with a few of them having a green light. At the top of the machine is a "paper feed" tray. At the bottom of the machine, is a large hole, for outputting the paper.]
Column 1 Print (lit green) Copy Fax (lit green) Shred Scan Translate Summarize Plagiarize Collate (lit green)
Column 2 Staple (lit green) Remove staples Add those perforated edge strips that are so fun to tear Roll Burn Eat
Column 3 Fold airplane Origami flower Corrugate Paper-mâché Découpage Notarize (lit green) Biodegrade Crumple and throw at trash like a basketball (lit green)

This is an xkcd-style parody of an all-in-one printer , a printer which typically can perform several functions, usually printing, scanning, copying, and faxing. This machine starts off with fairly standard printer functions but quickly becomes absurd. The machine is accordingly oversized, making room for all the status indicators and (presumably) the extra internal parts required to accomplish the uncommon functions.
The title text says that if both the "scan" and "shred" options are selected, it now scans documents before trying to destroy them. Previously the machine destroyed documents and then scanned the pieces and tried to reconstruct them, identifying the original location of each shredded piece on the original sheet(s) of paper, which takes a large amount of processing power.
Certain functions are lit green, indicating they are in use. To show which ones are in use, they are highlighted green (selected) .
[A large printer-like machine, with the label All-in-One Paper Processor on the top left of it. There are three columns of functions, with a few of them having a green light. At the top of the machine is a "paper feed" tray. At the bottom of the machine, is a large hole, for outputting the paper.]
Column 1 Print (lit green) Copy Fax (lit green) Shred Scan Translate Summarize Plagiarize Collate (lit green)
Column 2 Staple (lit green) Remove staples Add those perforated edge strips that are so fun to tear Roll Burn Eat
Column 3 Fold airplane Origami flower Corrugate Paper-mâché Découpage Notarize (lit green) Biodegrade Crumple and throw at trash like a basketball (lit green)
