Theft
Theft
[An identity thief sits in front of a laptop, looking at his hands] Thief: I feel paralyzed by overwhelming existential dread. Thief: ...and yet for some reason I'm really excited about space? [Caption below the panel:] The thief who stole my identity has a lot to deal with.

The term "identity theft" refers to a thief acquiring various types of a victim's identification (for example, bank account number and/or Social Security number), thus allowing the thief to pretend to be the victim and commonly steal money from the victim's bank account, etc.
This comic exaggerates the term, interpreting it as the thief literally acquiring the victim's whole personality. Like Cueball & Megan in general, the victim is implied to have some Randallian personality traits, like the love of space and existential angst. Thus, the thief is now completely overwhelmed by having an entirely new personality, not to mention one whose parts clash with each other.
The title text ponders the specifics of the identity acquisition process. Presumably, even two people whose personalities are identical would still start to think different thoughts. (This is a prerequisite for the depiction in the comic; the thief is baffled by his newly acquired interests, while the victim would not be baffled by the thoughts and interests they've developed over their entire life.) It is also wondered whether the victims new doppelganger is wondering the same thing, which could imply that their thoughts have not fully diverged. A friend comments that the victim may be overthinking the situation, and that the thief only took his credit card information. (A common method of identity theft. Does not transfer personality traits [ citation needed ] .) However, the victim is overwhelmed by existential anxiety.
[An identity thief sits in front of a laptop, looking at his hands] Thief: I feel paralyzed by overwhelming existential dread. Thief: ...and yet for some reason I'm really excited about space? [Caption below the panel:] The thief who stole my identity has a lot to deal with.
