Map Age Guide
Map Age Guide
[A very complicated flow chart, which can only be read in detail using the larger image now shown at the top of this page. This transcript uses the large version, which is more legible.]
[At the top of the chart there is a large caption, with a smaller caption below:] Guide to figuring out the age of an undated world map (Assuming it's complete, labeled in English, and detailed enough)
[Below the starting bracket in the small caption is a start box. It has rounded corners and it is gray with white text. From this box there is a gray line to a box consisting of a black frame with rounded corners. In these kind of boxes there are questions regarding the map in black text. Below this box there are three gray boxes like the start box, superimposed over the bottom frame. In these boxes are the possible answers to the question in the frame above. From each of these options there is a gray line going to similar black framed boxes with other questions either below, or to either side. There can either be two, three or four gray boxes, two the most common. Only at the very bottom of the central branch where it turns out it was a home made map, are there two frames with only one gray question box each. This trend continues over this entire large image. When reaching the end of a branch in the flow chart, there is no line away from one, more or all of the gray boxes for a black frame. When this happens a year range or a guess at what the map shows, or what it is (if it turns out to not be a map) is written below the gray box in gray text. Of the text in the gray boxes are Yes/No, but not always. There are 74 boxes with black frames with 158 gray boxes and 78 endpoints with text below the gray box and one end point without text below (the one with the home made map).]
Start Istanbul or Constantinople? Constantinople Do any of these exist ? Independent Canada US Territory of Alaska Tokyo No The Holy Roman Empire? Yes 1805 or earlier (before this point, the modern idea of a complete political map of the world gets hard to apply.) No The United States? No How sure are you that this map is in English? Yes Texas is... Part of Mexico Florida is part of... Spain Paraguay? No 1806–10 Yes 1811–17 The US Venezuela and/or Ecuador? No 1818–29 Yes 1830–33 Independent 1834–45 Part of the US Does Russia border the Sea of Japan? No The US's southern border looks... Weird 1846–53 Normal 1854–56 Yes 1858–67 Yes South Africa? No Rhodesia? No Is Bolivia landlocked? No "Buda" and "Pest" or "Budapest"? Buda and Pest 1868–72 Budapest 1873–83 Yes 1884–95 Yes Is Norway part of Sweden? Yes 1896–1905 No 1906–09 Yes Austria-Hungary? Yes Albania? No 1910–12 Yes 1913–18 No Leningrad? No 1919–23 Yes 1924–29 Neither Does the Ottoman Empire exist? Yes #canada-alaska-tokyo No The Soviet Union? Yes Saudi Arabia? Yes Is most of West Africa a giant french blob? Yes Pakistan? No How many Germanys are there? One Persia or Iran? Persia 1930–34 Iran 1935–40 One, but it's huge 1941–45 Two 1946–47 Yes Cambodia? No Eritrea is part of... Italy Canada is... Missing a piece 1948 Fine The town on I-25 between Albuquerque and El Paso is... Hot Springs 1948-49 Truth or Consequences 1950–52 Ethiopia 1952–53 Yes The United Arab Republic? No 1954–57 Yes 1958–60 No How many Vietnams are there? Two Bangladesh? No Is the area south of Lake Victoria... British 1960 Tanganyika 1961–64 Tanzania 1965–71 Yes 1972–75 One Jimmy Carter is... Being attacked by a giant swimming rabbit April 20, 1979 Fine The Sinai is part of what country? Israel 1976–79 Mostly Israel 1980 Mostly Egypt 1981 Egypt What's the capital of Micronesia? Kolonia Republic of the Upper Volta or Burkina Faso? Upper Volta 1982–84 Burkina Faso 1985–88 Palikir (number of Yemens) + (number of Germanys) = ? Four 1989-early 1990 Three mid-1990 Two late 1990–1991 No 1922–1932 No North Korea? Yes Zaire? or: "Hong Kong (UK)" Yes 1992–96 No Serbia/Montenegro are... One country East Timor? No 1997–2001 Yes 2002–06 Two countries How many Sudans are there? One 2007–11 Two Is Crimea disputed? Yes "Colorado" or "Danger—Radioactive Exclusion Zone—Avoid"? Colorado 2014–21 Danger Does the warning mention the spiders? No 2022 Yes 2023 or later No 2012–13 No Saint Trimble's Island No Is Jan Mayen part of the Kingdom of Norway? Not yet #canada-alaska-tokyo What? Can you see the familiar continents? Yes This sounds like a physical map or satellite photo. Yes, that's it Is Lake Chad missing? No How far east do the American Prairies reach? Indiana before 1830 The Mississippi 1830s-80s Nebraska Is there a big lake in the middle of Southern California? (created by mistake) No 1860s-1900s Yes 1910s What prairies? Is there a big lake in the middle of Ghana? (created on purpose) No 1920s-50s Yes 1960s-70s Yes Is the Aral Sea missing? No 1970s-90s Yes 2000s+ No Rivers "Sirion" or "Anduin"? Yes Mordor? No Beleriand? Yes First Age No Early Second Age Yes Númenor? Yes Late Second Age No The forest east of the Misty Mountains is... Greenwood Early Third Age Mirkwood Late Third Age The Wood of Greenleaves Fourth Age No Cair Paravel? Yes Calormen? No Lotta Islands? No Beruna Ford The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Bridge Prince Caspian Yes Dawn Treader Yes Weird recursive heaven? No One of the random later books Yes The Last Battle No Mossflower? Yes Redwall No Is the world on the back of a turtle? Yes Discworld No Are you sure this is a map? Yes Did you make it yourself? Yes It's very nice. Thank you! No Is it trying to bite you? No Is it larger than a breadbox? Yes tuba No stapler About the same breadbox Yes If you let it go, what does it do? Hisses and runs away cat Screeches and flaps around the room breaking things seagull Yes #pakistan Yes No, I made that one up. Istanbul Does the Soviet Union exist? Yes #west-africa-french-blob No #zaire
Title text: Does the screeching chill your blood and herald death? If yes, banshee. If no, seagull.

The comic consists of a flowchart depicting various ways to tell what era a map is from based on present country borders and land forms. (Except in the Not a Political Map Branch (from "Can you see the familiar continents?" downwards), the comic applies to a political map.) While many of the options are very serious, a few bizarre options reference fictional maps ( Discworld , Narnia , and Tolkien's Middle-earth ), or consider that seagulls, staplers, tubas, or breadboxes could be mistaken for a map. Randall also mentions US President Jimmy Carter being attacked by a giant swimming rabbit , an event previously referenced as one we must never forget in 204: America .
The flowchart, although probably effective in eventually identifying the production year of certain maps, is designed in a rather inefficient way, as some early distinctions are already on a very detailed level before some really important distinctions (fictional or non-political map) are made. This, of course, adds to the humorous tone of the comic. It is also hampered by several smaller or larger error (see trivia ), the biggest being a whole section on I-25 that gives years in the range 1948–1952, before I-25 was built, and coming from a question that fixed the year range to 1960–1961.
Additionally, (possible) future maps including a "Radioactive Exclusion Zone" in the place of Colorado are mentioned. It predicts that some kind of nuclear incident will occur in Colorado (possibly at Rulison or Rio Blanco nuclear testing sites) in 2022. It also predicts that the area will be infested by radioactive spiders one year later.
The title text continues the path where the user has confused a seagull for a map by inquiring if the (presumed) seagull might be a banshee based on the effect of its screams.
[A very complicated flow chart, which can only be read in detail using the larger image now shown at the top of this page. This transcript uses the large version, which is more legible.]
[At the top of the chart there is a large caption, with a smaller caption below:] Guide to figuring out the age of an undated world map (Assuming it's complete, labeled in English, and detailed enough)
[Below the starting bracket in the small caption is a start box. It has rounded corners and it is gray with white text. From this box there is a gray line to a box consisting of a black frame with rounded corners. In these kind of boxes there are questions regarding the map in black text. Below this box there are three gray boxes like the start box, superimposed over the bottom frame. In these boxes are the possible answers to the question in the frame above. From each of these options there is a gray line going to similar black framed boxes with other questions either below, or to either side. There can either be two, three or four gray boxes, two the most common. Only at the very bottom of the central branch where it turns out it was a home made map, are there two frames with only one gray question box each. This trend continues over this entire large image. When reaching the end of a branch in the flow chart, there is no line away from one, more or all of the gray boxes for a black frame. When this happens a year range or a guess at what the map shows, or what it is (if it turns out to not be a map) is written below the gray box in gray text. Of the text in the gray boxes are Yes/No, but not always. There are 74 boxes with black frames with 158 gray boxes and 78 endpoints with text below the gray box and one end point without text below (the one with the home made map).]
Start Istanbul or Constantinople? Constantinople Do any of these exist ? Independent Canada US Territory of Alaska Tokyo No The Holy Roman Empire? Yes 1805 or earlier (before this point, the modern idea of a complete political map of the world gets hard to apply.) No The United States? No How sure are you that this map is in English? Yes Texas is... Part of Mexico Florida is part of... Spain Paraguay? No 1806–10 Yes 1811–17 The US Venezuela and/or Ecuador? No 1818–29 Yes 1830–33 Independent 1834–45 Part of the US Does Russia border the Sea of Japan? No The US's southern border looks... Weird 1846–53 Normal 1854–56 Yes 1858–67 Yes South Africa? No Rhodesia? No Is Bolivia landlocked? No "Buda" and "Pest" or "Budapest"? Buda and Pest 1868–72 Budapest 1873–83 Yes 1884–95 Yes Is Norway part of Sweden? Yes 1896–1905 No 1906–09 Yes Austria-Hungary? Yes Albania? No 1910–12 Yes 1913–18 No Leningrad? No 1919–23 Yes 1924–29 Neither Does the Ottoman Empire exist? Yes #canada-alaska-tokyo No The Soviet Union? Yes Saudi Arabia? Yes Is most of West Africa a giant french blob? Yes Pakistan? No How many Germanys are there? One Persia or Iran? Persia 1930–34 Iran 1935–40 One, but it's huge 1941–45 Two 1946–47 Yes Cambodia? No Eritrea is part of... Italy Canada is... Missing a piece 1948 Fine The town on I-25 between Albuquerque and El Paso is... Hot Springs 1948-49 Truth or Consequences 1950–52 Ethiopia 1952–53 Yes The United Arab Republic? No 1954–57 Yes 1958–60 No How many Vietnams are there? Two Bangladesh? No Is the area south of Lake Victoria... British 1960 Tanganyika 1961–64 Tanzania 1965–71 Yes 1972–75 One Jimmy Carter is... Being attacked by a giant swimming rabbit April 20, 1979 Fine The Sinai is part of what country? Israel 1976–79 Mostly Israel 1980 Mostly Egypt 1981 Egypt What's the capital of Micronesia? Kolonia Republic of the Upper Volta or Burkina Faso? Upper Volta 1982–84 Burkina Faso 1985–88 Palikir (number of Yemens) + (number of Germanys) = ? Four 1989-early 1990 Three mid-1990 Two late 1990–1991 No 1922–1932 No North Korea? Yes Zaire? or: "Hong Kong (UK)" Yes 1992–96 No Serbia/Montenegro are... One country East Timor? No 1997–2001 Yes 2002–06 Two countries How many Sudans are there? One 2007–11 Two Is Crimea disputed? Yes "Colorado" or "Danger—Radioactive Exclusion Zone—Avoid"? Colorado 2014–21 Danger Does the warning mention the spiders? No 2022 Yes 2023 or later No 2012–13 No Saint Trimble's Island No Is Jan Mayen part of the Kingdom of Norway? Not yet #canada-alaska-tokyo What? Can you see the familiar continents? Yes This sounds like a physical map or satellite photo. Yes, that's it Is Lake Chad missing? No How far east do the American Prairies reach? Indiana before 1830 The Mississippi 1830s-80s Nebraska Is there a big lake in the middle of Southern California? (created by mistake) No 1860s-1900s Yes 1910s What prairies? Is there a big lake in the middle of Ghana? (created on purpose) No 1920s-50s Yes 1960s-70s Yes Is the Aral Sea missing? No 1970s-90s Yes 2000s+ No Rivers "Sirion" or "Anduin"? Yes Mordor? No Beleriand? Yes First Age No Early Second Age Yes Númenor? Yes Late Second Age No The forest east of the Misty Mountains is... Greenwood Early Third Age Mirkwood Late Third Age The Wood of Greenleaves Fourth Age No Cair Paravel? Yes Calormen? No Lotta Islands? No Beruna Ford The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Bridge Prince Caspian Yes Dawn Treader Yes Weird recursive heaven? No One of the random later books Yes The Last Battle No Mossflower? Yes Redwall No Is the world on the back of a turtle? Yes Discworld No Are you sure this is a map? Yes Did you make it yourself? Yes It's very nice. Thank you! No Is it trying to bite you? No Is it larger than a breadbox? Yes tuba No stapler About the same breadbox Yes If you let it go, what does it do? Hisses and runs away cat Screeches and flaps around the room breaking things seagull Yes #pakistan Yes No, I made that one up. Istanbul Does the Soviet Union exist? Yes #west-africa-french-blob No #zaire
Title text: Does the screeching chill your blood and herald death? If yes, banshee. If no, seagull.
