Secretary Part 3
Secretary: Part 3
[The confirmation hearings begin.] Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.
Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks? Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.
Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.
Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed? Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!
Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way.
[Senators look down at their notes.]
Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine? Black Hat: I plead the third.
Senator: You mean the fifth? Black Hat: No, the third.
Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house? Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
Meanwhile... [Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.] Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir. Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.
Ponytail: It's a balloon. Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

When a person has been appointed to be on certain positions [1] by the President , they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the Senate (the upper house of Congress ) where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, Black Hat is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his résumé .
N.B. When this comic was written, Senate confirmation hearings occurred rapidly after a president made a nomination and were expected to prevent unsuitable candidates from being given positions of power.
The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger Cory Doctorow , as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.
All comics in the Secretary series are:
This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.
It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial , in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.
[The confirmation hearings begin.] Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.
Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks? Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.
Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.
Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed? Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!
Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way.
[Senators look down at their notes.]
Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine? Black Hat: I plead the third.
Senator: You mean the fifth? Black Hat: No, the third.
Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house? Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
Meanwhile... [Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.] Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir. Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.
Ponytail: It's a balloon. Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.
