Stargazing
Stargazing
[A thin panel with Megan as a TV-host is holding her hands up. She is drawn in white on a black background. Behind her is an audience drawn in faint gray lines consisting of Hairy (to the left) and two Cueball-like guys and Ponytail (seen in a rare full face position) to the right of the host. One of the Cueball-like guys is partly hidden behind the host.] Host: Welcome to stargazing, with your host, me. Host: I'm a doctor or whatever.
[Same scene as before but in a broader panel, and the host is now holding only one hand up with a finger pointing up. The audience is the same four people, but now Hairy has moved further to the left in the panel to make room for a Megan-like woman also to the left of the host.] Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Host: Just the good stuff. Host: Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
[A frame-less drawing with a zoom out showing the group of six people in black silhouette on a white background. Part of the ground beneath them is shown as a black pool. The host is pointing up with one hand. The people have been rearranged, so left of the host is now a Cueball-like guy and a Megan-like woman, and to the right is the other Cueball-like guy, then Ponytail (seen from the side as usual) and Hairy. All are looking up following the host's directions.] Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. Host: It's really two stars but one of them is barely even trying. Host: This is Andromeda, it's too big to think about, so let's not.
[Zoom in of the host's upper body, again drawn in white on a black background. She is looking right gesturing with one arm raised, and the other still pointing up with a finger stretched out. Her audience is no longer shown.] Host: That red stars is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Host: Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I- Host: Holy shit did you see that meteor!?! Host: Space is awesome!
[Same scene as the previous panel, but the host has turned towards left looking at someone in the audience (not shown) who speaks off-screen. She has taken both her hands down for the first time.] Off-screen voice: Are you sure you're an astronomer? Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you. Off-screen voice: But- Host: Space!
(Inverse color panel - white on black) [A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.] Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever. [She continues to talk.] Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good tuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots. (Normal color panel - black on white) [A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching her, she points to the sky.] Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not. (Inverse color panel) [Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind her.] Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?! Space is awesome! [The host speaks to someone out of panel.] Other: Are you sure you're an astronomer? Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you. Other: But-- Host: SPACE! The original official transcript with male host is included here below (correcting a typo with a missing "s" in "stuff" and formatting to look like our normal transcripts): [A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.] Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever. [He continues to talk.] Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots. [Normal color panel - black on white. A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching him, he points to the sky.] Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not. [Inverse color panel. Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind him.] Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?! Space is awesome ! [The host speaks to someone out of panel.] Other: Are you sure you're an astronomer? Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you. Other: But-- Host: SPACE!

This is the first comic in the Stargazing series. It was followed by 2017: Stargazing 2 two and a half years later and 2274: Stargazing 3 four years later.
This comic opens on Megan as the host for a stargazing TV show, or  simply a stargazing tour. She claims to be a doctor in astronomy though her remarks, however enthusiastic, may call this into question. (Originally the host was suspected to be a spoof on Brian Cox , see below , but at some later point Randall changed his official transcript thus making the host female rather than male as in the original version, see the trivia section below. Thus now the host is clearly Megan, which it could not have been originally when the host was described as a man by Randall).
Throughout the comic the host's tone and choice of words becomes increasingly unprofessional, referring to most of the stars as "shitty," personifying them based on different astronomical observations, and providing little useful information on the study of stars or how they work.
It seems that this is not an isolated issue as the television host mentions that people keep asking her whether or not she is a real astronomer.
The host also continuously glosses over the arguably less exciting portions of a typical presentation on astronomy sharing only what she sees as "the good stuff." This penchant for only caring about something if it is interesting extends past astronomy as well as the host is too bored when reading the dictionary to look up the meaning of astronomer.
The comic derives much of its humor from the absurdity of the host's comments on various astronomical bodies. Although not technically incorrect, the way she presents the information is far from informative. (See details below on the host's observations ).
One of her observations regards the fact that Sirius is a binary star , a system where two stars orbit each other. So even though it is the brightest star as seen from Earth we only really see one of them, as the other is, to quote the host, "not even trying". Sirius A is "large" and "bright" main sequence white star, while Sirius B is a white dwarf with a little under half the mass, 0.49% the radius and only 0.22% the luminosity of Sirius A.
Andromeda is the largest galaxy in our Local Group . It is 220,000 light years across and contains a trillion stars. Humans have difficulty conceptualizing distances of this scale. Suffice to say that it is very large. [ citation needed ]
Betelgeuse is the 9th brightest star visible from earth. One of its prominent features is its visible redness. Within the next million years (or maybe only 100,000 years) it is expected to explode as a supernova , which will certainly be a spectacular sight. It could happen anytime now, and the host hopes it will be in her lifetime.
In the title text it is mentioned that the Sun is also a star and of course is much brighter than Sirius seen from Earth, and thus Sirius is technically not the brightest star in our sky (although it is in the night sky). The title text sarcastically encourages the audience to raise that obvious but irrelevant point (a standard joke when people mention bright stars) instead of asking a more interesting, informative, or fruitful question, when there are so many to ask regarding astronomy.
See also 1371: Brightness and 1342: Ancient Stars . Saying cool things about space to make people like you is mentioned in 1746: Making Friends .
Here is a list of the host's observations:
The comic could be a reference to BBC's Stargazing Live , which Brian Cox has appeared in since 2011. If drawn in xkcd style he would likely look like Megan. He has a PhD in high-energy particle physics , but not astronomy. The newest season of the show aired during January 2016 just a month before this comic's release. Brian Cox has also been the presenter of several other science programs, especially such as the Wonders of the Solar System , Wonders of the Universe and Wonders of Life . Originally the host was described as male in the official transcript (see trivia below, making this seem more likely. for some reason Randall changed the host to female in the transcript later. Very strange, but for sure when he was male, it was obviously a Brian Cox spoof.
It could also be a reference to Jack Horkheimer 's PBS shows Star Hustler and Star Gazers . Horkheimer, however, does not at all look like Megan, and he died 6 years ago. But he was not a doctor in astronomy, only getting into it when he started volunteering at the Miami Museum of Science's planetarium. He ended up writing shows for the planetarium and the PBS series developed from there. He rarely covered facts about the night sky that couldn't be found in any basic reference (possibly because the show was aimed at children and non-astronomy buffs), although he did get more in-depth about current astronomical events such as Comet Hale–Bopp .
[A thin panel with Megan as a TV-host is holding her hands up. She is drawn in white on a black background. Behind her is an audience drawn in faint gray lines consisting of Hairy (to the left) and two Cueball-like guys and Ponytail (seen in a rare full face position) to the right of the host. One of the Cueball-like guys is partly hidden behind the host.] Host: Welcome to stargazing, with your host, me. Host: I'm a doctor or whatever.
[Same scene as before but in a broader panel, and the host is now holding only one hand up with a finger pointing up. The audience is the same four people, but now Hairy has moved further to the left in the panel to make room for a Megan-like woman also to the left of the host.] Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Host: Just the good stuff. Host: Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
[A frame-less drawing with a zoom out showing the group of six people in black silhouette on a white background. Part of the ground beneath them is shown as a black pool. The host is pointing up with one hand. The people have been rearranged, so left of the host is now a Cueball-like guy and a Megan-like woman, and to the right is the other Cueball-like guy, then Ponytail (seen from the side as usual) and Hairy. All are looking up following the host's directions.] Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. Host: It's really two stars but one of them is barely even trying. Host: This is Andromeda, it's too big to think about, so let's not.
[Zoom in of the host's upper body, again drawn in white on a black background. She is looking right gesturing with one arm raised, and the other still pointing up with a finger stretched out. Her audience is no longer shown.] Host: That red stars is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Host: Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I- Host: Holy shit did you see that meteor!?! Host: Space is awesome!
[Same scene as the previous panel, but the host has turned towards left looking at someone in the audience (not shown) who speaks off-screen. She has taken both her hands down for the first time.] Off-screen voice: Are you sure you're an astronomer? Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you. Off-screen voice: But- Host: Space!
(Inverse color panel - white on black) [A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.] Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever. [She continues to talk.] Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good tuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots. (Normal color panel - black on white) [A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching her, she points to the sky.] Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not. (Inverse color panel) [Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind her.] Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?! Space is awesome! [The host speaks to someone out of panel.] Other: Are you sure you're an astronomer? Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you. Other: But-- Host: SPACE! The original official transcript with male host is included here below (correcting a typo with a missing "s" in "stuff" and formatting to look like our normal transcripts): [A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.] Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever. [He continues to talk.] Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots. [Normal color panel - black on white. A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching him, he points to the sky.] Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not. [Inverse color panel. Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind him.] Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?! Space is awesome ! [The host speaks to someone out of panel.] Other: Are you sure you're an astronomer? Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you. Other: But-- Host: SPACE!
