A game is played with two players and an initial stack of $n$ pennies $(n \geq 3)$. The players take turns choosing one of the stacks of pennies on the table and splitting it into two stacks. The winner is the player who makes a move that causes all stacks to be of height $1$ or $2.$ For which starting values of n does the player who goes first win, assuming best play by both players?
1. **Claim**: The first player wins if and only if \( n = 3 \) or \( n \) is even.

2. **Base Case**: 
   - If \( n = 3 \), the first player wins by splitting the stack into stacks of size \( 1 \) and \( 2 \).

3. **Definitions**:
   - A *fancy stack* is a stack that can be split (i.e., a stack with at least \( 2 \) pennies).
   - A *fancy penny* is a penny in any fancy stack.
   - A *fancy position* is a position such that all of the stacks have an odd number of pennies, and if there is exactly one fancy stack, that stack has more than \( 3 \) pennies.

4. **Lemma**: In any fancy position, the next player (i.e., the player who has his/her turn right now) loses.

5. **Proof of Lemma**:
   - Assume for contradiction that there is a fancy position such that the next player can win. Let us consider such a position with a minimal number of fancy pennies.
   
   - **Case 1**: This position has at most \( 4 \) fancy pennies.
     - If there are zero fancy stacks, the previous player has already won.
     - Otherwise, there can only be one fancy stack, and it must have \( 3 \) pennies, contradicting the assumption that the position is fancy.
   
   - **Case 2**: This position has \( 5 \) fancy pennies.
     - There can only be one fancy stack, and it must have \( 5 \) pennies.
     - The next player could split the stack into stacks of size \( 1 \) and \( 4 \), after which the opponent wins by splitting the stack of size \( 4 \) into two stacks of size \( 2 \).
     - Otherwise, the next player would have to split the stack into stacks of size \( 2 \) and \( 3 \), and then the opponent wins by splitting the stack of size \( 3 \) into stacks of size \( 2 \) and \( 1 \).
   
   - **Case 3**: This position has \( 6 \) fancy pennies.
     - There must be two fancy stacks, each with \( 3 \) pennies.
     - The next player must split one of these stacks into stacks of size \( 1 \) and \( 2 \), and then the opponent wins by splitting the other stack of size \( 3 \).
   
   - **Case 4**: This position has at least \( 7 \) fancy pennies.
     - The next player must split a stack into two stacks, exactly one of which has an even number of pennies.
     - The opponent should split that stack into a stack of size \( 1 \) and another stack with an odd number of pennies.
     - All the stacks will have an odd number of pennies again.
     - The former player creates at most \( 1 \) stack of size \( 1 \) (since the other stack must have an even number of pennies), and the opponent creates either \( 1 \) or \( 2 \) stacks of size \( 1 \).
     - Thus, the number of fancy pennies decreases by at most \( 3 \), so the new position has at least \( 4 \) fancy pennies remaining, so it must be fancy.
     - The new position has fewer fancy pennies than the old position, which means that the next player must lose because we assumed that the old position is the minimal fancy position such that the next player can win.

6. In either case, we see that the next player must lose. Thus, by contradiction, there exists no fancy position such that the next player can win, as desired.

7. **Conclusion**:
   - It immediately follows that the first player loses if \( n \) is odd and \( n > 3 \), since the initial position is fancy.
   - For even \( n \):
     - If \( n = 4 \), the first player wins immediately by splitting the stack of size \( 4 \) into two stacks of size \( 2 \).
     - If \( n > 4 \), the first player wins by splitting the stack into stacks of size \( 1 \) and \( n-1 \), creating a fancy position that causes the opponent to lose.

\(\therefore\) The first player wins if and only if \( n = 3 \) or \( n \) is even.

The final answer is \( \boxed{ n = 3 } \) or \( n \) is even.