I have over 400 friends. I have not spoken to my family in years. I am uncomfortable in a formal situation. I like hitchhiking. I live in a house alone.
I am poor without my family. I give people nicknames. I have a few pet iguanas.
I got some more friends on facebook Wow,  aren't you the popular one? How come you have so many friends? Probably because I play a lot of Facebook games, so they send me friend requests or vice-versa. Then I usually message them to strike up a friendship. I suppose I'm not very discriminating, in that regard. I see, I'm gonna call you facebook Mcfacebook face. That's your new name! That's..uhh..that's kind of weird. Maybe not as weird as being addicted to Facebook games, but it's still a bit weird. So how are your iguanas? They can't wait for the warm weather to come back so I can take them for walks at the park. We're sick of winter! Yeah, I wouldn't expect an iguana to enjoy the cold weather. Don't people freak out when you bring them to the park, though? No, people always come over and ask me why my dogs don't have hair. I live near a lot of very dumb people. Ha ha ha! That's great. I really hope you're kidding, otherwise you live around a very genetically subnormal population. Nope, that happens all of the time. I just tell them that's because they're not dogs...and that they're hairless cats! And they believe you? Ohhh dear. Sounds like that gene pool needs some chlorine. Well, now you know why I like to give people mean nicknames. It's tough being the smartest person in my neighborhood.