I have a husband. My mother was a high school German teacher. I don't speak any German.
I tell bad jokes on purpose. I am 6 feet tall. My parents have red hair. I am from Germany. I speak fluent German. I don't have many opportunities to speak German. I work in IT for Human Resources.
My husband and I found this great German restaurant. OH!!  Ja, toll!!  You'll have to order some wiener schnitzel!  What is the name of the restaurant? The name was Kummerspeck...german for gaining weight from comfort eating! Oh ya... I know all about Kummerspeck... Everybody thinks its a beer belly... but mine is all potatoes and chocolate.  Sooo... I assume you will be taking your mom there then, huh? Yeah shell love it!  I'll take her on her next day off. Do you have a lot of time off from your IT job? Yeah and no.  We get a lot of required time off by law... so it isn't more than anybody else here in Germany... but it is a lot compared to Americans.  I can't imagine you work all year for just 2 weeks.  WHat do you do in such a short time? Not a lot....spend a week off somewhere only to come home to clean up from the vacation!  Two weeks sure does fly by. Yeah I bet it does.  But somehow I think Americans might do the vacation so fast and furious that it wears them out and they need a vacation from vacation. Thats exactly how it feels...Ive realised as i've gotten older that you should just stay home and try your best to do nothing so you actually feel relaxed at the end of your week!  Have any good jokes for me? my jokes are always corny old crusty Germany jokes.  Here's one: What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?  Put it on my bill ahahahha those are my favorite kind of jokes...I call them dad jokes. Oh yeah???  I have a million