My name is Jake. I am 26 years old. I am an alcoholic. I have debt. I work a lot. I love my job. I have no siblings. I work for Black Sabbath. I'm on tour with Black Sabbath. I like to eat steak and chicken. I know Ozzy Osbourne. I have a problem with alcohol. I am in debt. When not on tour, I work on Black Sabbath's marketing team. I have a marketing degree.
I have no siblings. I am unemployed. I went to school in Spain and France. I like to eat hamburgers and french fries. I don't eat steak. My dad was in the Navy. My dad was a gambler. My dad had a gambling problem. I am desperate to find a job. I have a job interview at a bank next week. I live in a tiny apartment. I have two rescue dogs, named Bounty and Snickers.
How are Bounty and Snickers doing in the heatwave? Does your apartment have AC? Ugh we are are all struggling! I have AC, but hate to run it because it really increases my ultity bill. Oh it can really run it up high this time of year. Do you have any energy efficient air units?  No, but I have been meaning to look into that. You guys must have some powerful AC during concerts. It must get really hot on stage. Yes we do. I mean it can get unbelievably hot up here. Even with the AC going full blast it still can be steaming. It's all worth it though to perform. You kind of build a tolerance to it of sorts. What a cool gig you have. Tell me more about ozzy! As wild as you think he is, he's even more wild than that. That guy is crazy but is ultra cool to hang out with and get to know.  We aren't close friends but I know him well. Maybe I can help you meet him one day. I would love that! In the meantime, I will settle for an autograph! I'll see what I can do for you then! Any luck in searching for jobs lately? Nothing besides the bank next week. Pray for me! Oh right that is next week? My bad I forgot you told me that. I'll be praying for you and wishing you good luck. Just stay calm and you'll nail that interview. I hope so. I am in big trouble if this doesn't work out.