question: I have a question regarding my stepson s behavior. He has been diagnosed in early childhood with ADHS, and later on with developmental disability (i.e. some type of learning disorder), also with paranoid schizophrenia, and he is also on the autism spectrum. He is now 37 years old, and has not received very much in the way of basic counseling, or strong encouragement to make the most of his abilities. He is currently living in a good AFC Home, but has very little motivation to make the most of his potential. He does have a court-appointed guardian, because my husband and I paid to get a guardian appointed legally for him. He is very stubborn, and manipulative, and REFUSES anything and everything that could help him. He even REFUSES to wear eyeglasses, even though he has worn them since the age of 6!! He REFUSES basic dental care, etc. etc. He last saw a dentist when he graduated from high school. He RESENTS me, his step mom, because I am a retired R.N., and I have spoken with his caretakers (many of them over the years), and with Community Mental Health, and with his guardian regarding his situation. He has now even strictly informed his AFC Home caretakers that they are not to speak with me about anything pertaining to him, (although I have been able to do this in a limited way without his knowledge), and he has recently even refused to speak with me on the phone, although he will beg for money or to be taken out on an outing with his father. He informed his sister, my stepdaughter, that he feels pressure from me, although when we are on a family get together, he will never directly tell me this. My question is: How am I going to be able to continue to advocate FOR him, which is all that I have been doing, (any my step daughter and her husband, and my husband have been in FULL agreement with me on these issues. My stepson continues to experience periodic hospitalizations, and he continues to experience the consequences of his own behavior and refusals. The AFC Home MUST administer his medications, provide meals for him, etc. etc. What also are my husband and I supposed to do about the fact that my stepson begs us for money at times, and continues to THROW AWAY anything and everything that has any value or meaning to it. I no longer even feel comfortable giving him $50 for his birthday, and at Christmas, because we know that he will misspend it (at least this has been his pattern, even with things and money given to him by other family members), or THROW IT AWAY. We are at our wit s end with him, and I think that that he has succeeded in pushing us away from him. I am leaving this all in God s capable hands, and I am comfortable with my husband setting limits with him, and at least rarely going on a social outing with him, etc. etc. I would like your recommendations, because I would have to pay out a lot of money to hire a special PATIENT ADVOCATE for me to resolve some of the communication barriers and walls that he has set up! HIPPA laws have not been very helpful, either, but I do respect that there does need to be SOME protections/privacy in place when it comes to patient confidentiality. However, having a very high STONE WALL in place is not healthy for any of us family members, who are trying to help him to lead a more responsible, dignified, and fulfilled life. He was able to hold down a job for 1-2 years as a bagger at D & W in the Cascade, Michigan area, but he has not worked in 20 or so years, and he is not allowed to drive. Thank You, Marcia K. Behrens, R.N. (retired) email: YYYY@YYYY