question: Hi. I am 32 years old and have a history of bipolar, ptsd, panic disorder, hypothyroidism, and hypertension. My mental illnesses have been stable on the same meds for ten years. I am confused as to what s going on with me now. I m not depressed- i don t feel sad or anything of the sort. But I m tired all the time, i don t see a point to getting out of bed on my days off, and i think about suicide a lot. This doesn t feel anything like depressive episodes I ve had before. There s no misery. Life just seems tedious. I ve had a bad abscess that put me in the hospital a month ago (ludwig angina) and it s come back, and I ve been thinking about stopping the antibiotics and just letting it kill me. It s the tedium of life that s getting to me, the monotony. I have no energy and no money to make any changes. What is this and what should i do?