question: Hi, My name is Marilynn.  I suffer from very severe depression.  I have for a long time, tried suicide.  My father and brother have, and as I understand it, it does tend to run in the family.  The only thing that stops me now, is that I cannot put my son or grandchildren through what I went through.  So, I cannot do that anymore.  I just suffer in deep silence.  I have tried to contact Dr. Phil and Robin for at least four times now for help.  My help is not coming and I cannot even afford to pay you to give me an answer on what to do to get the help I need.  I just spent at least an hour and 1/2 e-mailing Robin again, and it got lost in the system.  I cannot deal with anymore depression and rejection and am basically a hermit.  I do not go out because the money is just not there, and I suffer from extremely low self-esteem and I feel very repulsive to anyone that I meet.  This possibly comes from a very abusive and very lonely childhood and also from an extremely abusive, (mentally, physically, and sexually) marriage of thirty years.  There is absolutely no help where I live.  Basically because I just cannot afford it.  I have been in mental health inpatient many times and know the program forward and backward.  Nothing is helping me anymore.  I am very lonely and have very little human contact.  Besides, I suffer in alot, sometimes severe pain pain and also from "broken heart sydrome".  I will probably die from it.  I am 67 yrs. old, have been married for thirty years, and divorced for nineteen years.  Ironically, I got a doctor with a last name that sounds like my everyday life.  There is so much more to this story, but will not go into it anymore, seeing that I already e-mail Dr. Phil and Robin for help and did not receive it.  If there is a charge for this service, please do not answer me, as I do not have any money to pay for it.  I am at the library using their computer, because I cannot afford one, as all those other fancy devices out there.  After being divorced for all this time, an attorney who voluteers for the Women's Center, looked over my divorce degree and found some things that I have over-looked.  Now it will be to the point that the ex and/the insurance company will be supeneoned to get the information that we need.  This is also putting extreme anxiety on me, for fear of what he will do to me.  I also do not want my son to stop talking to me.  We have just rebuilt our relationship after a six year split and in that time I did not see my grandchildren.  I just could not bear to go thru that again, and I cannot confide in my son about this, because I fear that he will go and say something to my ex, and trouble will start before it begins.  I know that I have layed alot on you.  This is only the "frosting on the cake".  Thank you so much for listening to me.  I did not mean to let this e-mail go so long, but this is what happens when I have no one to talk too.Thank you for being there.I probably will not be coming to the library no more.  There is absolutely no sense in it, as no one hears me--they listen, but they do not hear.  Many Blessings.