question: Doctor I am engaged to a man that gets no errection after all he had 2 major back operations before.  He told me about not getting any errection at all when we started dating and I thought then it is fine and that it is not important.  But as I am now in my 40s I realise that I have this sexual desire and it is getting more.  I do not want it to be a problem for us as I love him very much.  But for me this desire is sometimes getting out of hand(control)  And I do not want to loose him.  What can I do to help him?  As he will not go to a doctor to speak about it?