question: I have been trying to find answers to what is my health problem and what I can do for it for some time. Some of the descriptions for predicted sound like mine, except I do not suffer nightmares or memory flashbacks from the sudden unexpected trauma which was the onset of what I have suffered every single moment since. What I have had since is pain, pain so great that it is unbearable to live without preventing it at all times or being forced to take my life against my own will. This is without exaggeration. It sounds crazy and unheard of, which is the reason I can t face my doctor with the problem. Also, to the contrary of treating the pain with anything that slows me down, I have found that stimulants are more effective by far, during this horrible quest to survive. I know I m in a deathtrap , but I don t want to be dead. I m pretty sure my only hope is to find a way to be able to survive and live in a way that s monitored by a specialist, hoping this condition has been heard of by some doctor in this world. I know too much about what I struggle and strive everyday. I know there have been many where I had been, at the moment of tragedy, and most end up taking their lives because it is pain-driven, and they never live to see tomorrow - the future of the worst pain ever. Its beyond ptsd anxiety. Its more like living in fright, fright of the pain, what it has the power to do, and what will happen if it doesn t stay constantly prevented. I hope somebody knows what I m talking about. I can t be the only one on earth that is trying to live and survive at the same time, nor the only one who understands what I mean by this. I hope you can help me and if nothing else, point me in the right direction to research or maybe someone I could talk to that could better aid this very rare life situation. Thank you so much.