text: I once went to a perhaps unsurprisingly now defunct Trader Vic's in Washington for happy hour and was impressed by neither the food nor the drinks - this is not that story.\n\nAn almost empty restaurant (making our reservation comic relief) excluding the bustling bar area (slightly after the end of happy hour) on a holiday despite a well-decorated hall brimming with Tiki kitsch should have given us an indication, but since I was there for a family dinner with a picky family and this was already a compromise location, it was a bit late to change course(s), and among the goods for which we bartered were:\n\n- Cosmo Tidbits ($22): Enough fried and meaty flavors for three but nothing of note.\n- Lamb Curry (~$27): A flavorless cream of lamb soup that would have made Campbell's proud as a special? I have no idea what the chef was thinking with this.\n- Polynesian Snowball ($7): Coconut-encrusted vanilla with chocolate sauce done well.\n- Chocolate Macadamia Nut Torte ($8): Adequate, appropriately sweet, but forgettable.\n\nIf I'd gone to Outback Steakhouse and paid commensurate prices, I would have been pleased with the results, and thus it might fare better for happy hour (despite a previous experience at another location) but for near Ruth's Chris costs I expect near flawless execution, especially on a special, the failure of which overshadowed the experience.\n\nI can't decide if Victor Bergeron (the real life Trader Vic) was any or all of the following:\n\n- A shrewd capitalist genius who traded pittances of mediocre food for large sums\n- A C team stock trader who went long on 25% odds based on our dining experiences\n- A victim of continued posthumous branding that has brought shame to his name\n- A one-hit wonderquack who never surpassed or fully channeled his Mai Tai \"invention\"\n\nHowever, I have decided that I am comfortable leaving this islander mystery unsolved.