text: I don't go to Starbucks anymore. I used to, but I got sick of walking in and having all the 'cool' people, sitting with their Macs, sipping their caramel soy fuckwad machiato Americanos giving me the once over as if i'm a bigfoot sighting or something. \n\n\nIt's a real joke. \nI walk in and all the sneaky laptop whores quickly steal a furtive glance at my distressed fashion and shake their heads, signaling I don't belong here. Not like this. Not with them...all dressed-up and ready for work. \n\nThey probably don't know, or rather, how could they know I live next door. And how easy it is to roll out of bed, pillow perm and all, dressed like a major buttmunch as I wander in half asleep for my morning espresso, costing me around three bucks. \nI never did get this.\nIf taking a laptop with you to Starbucks is so vital to your existence, how is it you're so easily distracted each time the door swings open and the bell rings, heralding the arrival of a new, and potentially off the charts beautiful person, you pretentious douchebag!\nSo anyway, who needs that shit, right?  No more Starbucks. \n\nInstead, I bought a Keurig coffee maker. The one that uses those little K-cups. Only the K should stand for kablastafucked since the price of a K-cup is somewhere just south of a Bentley Continental GT convertible.\n\nAnd this is why I go to Costco. This Costco in particular.\nYou can buy a box of fifty-four Starbucks K-cups,  their Verona blend for only 36 bucks. \nBuy them anywhere else and you'll pay double.\n\nSo now I sit and bang out Yelps on my laptop as I drink my morning Starbuck K cup....not a pretentious douchebag anywhere in sight. \nWell, except for me of course.\n\nNote: 54 K cups lasts me close to a month. That's 36 bucks for the entire month. \nI used to spend that in a week at Starbucks while getting judged in the process. \nNo more.