text: Had enough beer to think this was one of those hip, retro bars.\n\nPlatinum blonde indie girl spinning old-school gangster rap from 20 years ago...IRONICALLY. It's cool because you're superficial and don't expect her to play that. \n\nBunch of guys repping Extreme Sports fashion like Monster Energy caps with their Ed Hardy shirts...IRONICALLY. It's cool because no one seriously wears that anymore, and it's a great throwback to simpler times. \n\nNot much for pastafarianism, I tried chilling out with my modern, 2010s clothes and music taste. Didn't fit in. But fear not! Chilly Bombers has some redeeming aesthetics. Like...the pretty lights (so bright!). Or the huge (and unfortunately vacant) dance floor. \n\nWhen I closed my eyes just long enough to stop the spinning, I envisioned how much cooler this bar could be if it tried to be a little more dive-y, and a little less of a refuge for people too broke or afraid of Hurricane Bay*. \n\n*I can't believe I just used HB as a favorable alternative to something.