text: Bleccccccccchhhhh! \n\nEveryone and their grandma has been raving about this place, so I thought I'd better go check it out. I've been wanting to check out the Eureka Casino anyway....one of those solidly un-pretentious little locals' dumps that will doubtlessly be imploded any day now. Well, after having checked it out...IMPLODE AWAY, I SAY!\n\nEverything in this restaurant is coated in/soaked in/bathed in/wallowing in grease. My friend and I shared the pot stickers as an appetizer -- they were OK, although also glistening with gratuitous grease. As far as pot stickers go...they were like any other potstickers. Except greasier. All the better to slide down your gullet, I guess.\n\nNext, I had the much-ballyhooed Short Ribs Grilled Cheese. BLEECCCHHHHH doesn't even begin to describe this monstrosity! I thought the pot stickers were greasy -- this beast was OFF THE CHAIN GREASY! It was like eating a heavily-salted Jheri curl sandwich!! I don't like wasting food, so I managed to choke down half of it before giving up -- but it was G.R.O.S.S. It was SO salty it was almost like they were trying to cover something up. Also, the grease had a weird sort of stale aftertaste, like they use the same fry oil over and over. YUCK! \n\nThe fries that accompanied the sandwich were similarly greasy. I know, I know, French fries are called FRIES because they are FRIED -- but these were ridiculous. I've had better fries in the employee dining room at Caesars Palace! The fry grease had the same gross aftertaste as the sandwich, which totally killed whatever was left of my appetite.\n\nNow, you might chalk all of this up to my being a veggie-eating commie bastard -- but guess what? My friend, who is most definitely NOT a veggie-eating commie, had the Fat Choy burger...and was similarly grossed out. He reported that it, too, was astonishingly greasy -- although he did finish the whole thing, so it couldn't have been THAT bad.\n\nYou might blame me for not having ordered something less greasy than a grilled cheese -- but the menu is extremely limited here (one page only), and since I don't like duck or pork, I didn't want to get the highly-touted bao or any of the rice dishes. I'm willing to bet they are just as greasy, anyway :-/ In fact, there wasn't much of anything on the menu that grew out of the ground -- it was all lard, grease, carbs and meat.\n\nWhat really sucks is, I came in here fully expecting to adore the place -- being as it's located in such a solidly unpretentious dive. Speaking of which.....\n\nAfter I gave up on eating, and had sopped the grease off my face with no fewer than thirty napkins, I went out into the casino to have a drink at the bar, thinking I could salvage the evening with a little people-watching and a rum & coke to cut through the grease still coating my tongue. But even that went sadly awry.\n\nFirst of all, it's a cash-only bar, and I didn't have any on me. So I had to get raped by the corner ATM, and pay a $5 surcharge...which brought the cost of my drink up to Strip prices anyway. If I'm paying Strip prices, dammit, I want to at least be able to ogle drunk bitches with fake tits, etc. But all I got was a depressing, smoke-filled room full of methheads, with Kenny Loggins playing somewhere in the background. That kind of ambiance is OK if you're in a certain mood....\n\n...but when you're already on the verge of vomiting, it ain't no fun! I finished my drink and got the fuck out of there, probably never to return. \n\nI never thought I'd say this, but...there are some places that DESERVE to be imploded. You hear that, Tony Hsieh?!! Blow this bitch sky-high and have at it -- even an elitist members-only dog park would be better than THIS!!!