text: Once upon a time, Ian Rankin, JK Rowling and Alexander McCall Smith used to go to The Elephant House to sit and write over endless cups of coffee. Lord knows what any of them would think if they went back for an espresso or latte now. \n\nAside from the terrible service and permanently stressed looking staff, the place is so darn busy it's difficult to get a table. Spring to summer especially, the cafe is jam-packed with tourists desperate to secure a seat with views of the Castle. To make it worse, there's merchandise everywhere you look, the music is insipid and there's a live webcam opening til closing time so strangers across the world can watch as you eat your lunch! \n\nThe biggest disappointment however, has to be the food and drink. On paper, soup, panninis, pitta, quiche and baked potatoes sounds quite promising but I suspect from tasting the last two that everything is part cooked in advance then microwaved. The coffee I ordered was equally bland and frothy. \n\nFree Wi-Fi or not, The Elephant House are going to have to raise their game if they want to inspire a new generation of writers!