text: Red Square is an incoherent mess, a poorly-conceived tribute/parody of the cold-war-era soviet union complete with kitschy cocktail names, miss-the-mark decor, and a headless Lenin statue out front.  \n\nShort take: Drinks?  Yes.  Food?  No.  Douchebags and blank-eyed tourists?  Mostly.\n\nMy wife and I gave it a go while too lazy to venture out of Mandalay Bay (where we were staying), and things started off surprisingly well.  Drinks, while oddly rich in Sierra Mist and other kids-candy mixers, are fairly well executed.  Some menu-born promises, such as a chocolate-covered plantain in the \"Russkie\" (see, stupid names), are satisfied in name only.  In that case, by a dehydrated plantain chip with a smear of chocolate on it rode the foam of a banana-creme martini.\n\nOur server had zero taste, first recommending the steak tartare and then mauling it table-side by adding absolutely everything served on the plate to it.  If I wanted even parts caper, onion, beef, and horseradish sauce mashed together, I would have done it myself for less than $20.\n\nFoie gras was okay (not great, as the foie gras itself was uncharacteristically bitter), served with a berry sauce, an apple, bacon, and french toast points.  There's a reason that most French preparations stick to brown sweets, like apple, raisin, and fig.  Berries for the $24 fail.\n\nMy wife's entree, lobster fettucini, was remarkably unremarkable, with a rubbery, overcooked lobster-claw in a thin and under-salted cream sauce.  She was tired, and the not-really-rich cream sauce was all she was really looking for.  $32?  Ouch.\n\nMy entree, the Stroganoff, was absolutely offensive.  In short, it tasted like boiled anus.  The tenderloin tips were overcooked, fibrous, and bland, and they rode around in a sauce so poorly seasoned that it could absolutely never have been tasted by anyone in the kitchen.  The noodles were reasonably cooked, but covered in that terribly executed sauce, and it was all topped off with onion strings that had clearly been fried at least 30 minutes prior to being plated.  They tasted of cold, congealed fryer grease, and they were the only salt carrier of the dish.\n\nNear the end of our meal, crappy club music (and I like club music) started thumping through the entire venue.  Not a gracious end to a meal that cost nearly $150 before tip.\n\nMerely 30 feet from Wolfgang Puck's Lupo (which I've never been to, but clearly has to be better), you'd have to have suffered a debilitating brain injury or lost a bet to end up at Red Square for anything but drinks.