text: I love burgers. Love them. I've had them all over the US and the world! From  Alaska and California to prime cattle country in Alberta to the american heartland and NYC and beyond. Had them in Asia, South America, Latin America, all over Europe, Africa and Mexico (don't ever recommend them there). In fact, if I can be so bold, I'm gonna lay claim to being a burger EXPERT. So when I hear about how great Burgatory is, I'm intrigued.  And when I go to a place like this, I'm ordering burgers -not exotic milkshakes or truffle fries or some distraction. Nope. Gimme the burger. \n\nNow, with that said, these are just not that good. I know, you're appalled. But Gary, you say, how can that be? Look at all the rave reviews!! Here's a clue. Check the reviews more closely and you'll note that people mostly rave about the spectacular shakes, not the burgers. And I'm just not interested in shakes - pretty much anytime. \n\nSure the menu is cool, build your own or pre made options like the  Morty's steakhouse I ordered or even the jerk chicken one my wife ordered. The beef is a \"succulent blend\" of angus sirloin, brisket and short rib. Sounds like it should be full of flavor. Sadly it's not. In fact it was uniquely bland and uninspired. Morty's says it has horseradish cheddar ( no evidence), Cabernet sauce (no evidence) and onion straws. Tons of straws but I couldn't detect an onion particle in any of them. So I'm profoundly disappointed. My wife's burger was equally tasteless. There are far better burger options throughout the city. I suggest going elsewhere. Unless you want a shake.