text: This would be a four-star joint . . . if it wasn't a burger joint. Why? Because it's a field crowded with gems. Browse my reviews: Bowery, Stout, Umami. I can't justify giving Holstein's a 4 when those places got 4s and 5s. That being said, there's a lot of good stuff at Holstein's and I'd proudly give it a 3.5 if that were possible. \n\nLet's start with their best: the boozy milkshakes (also available in non-boozy versions). I ordered the Fat Boy. It was awesome. Everything you want in a milkshake: candy, delicious vanilla milkshake PLUS booze! \n\nThe service: pretty good. They were very attentive and helpful with the baby . . . even when he spilled all the milk they very nicely brought for him. They were great to the adults too. \n\nAs for the food, as I said, the burgers were a 3.5. The fries were good, not great. I ordered the Gold Standard. I expected better. Not that it was bad, I was just expecting to be blown away and I wasn't. It is a hefty burger . . . split-able if you don't want to stuff yourself, especially if you get a milkshake. I can put it away . . . and I needed to ask for a box for some of it. \n\nSo I apologize if my review seems lackluster. It's definitely good, but you can probably find a better burger within a block if you look.