text: Holy crap! This place was like Walmart on PCP! Between employees on\nforklifts, grammaws on wheelchairmobiles, Soccer moms on cellphones\n(watching the aisles instead of where the hell they were going), and\nrandom foreign dudes (just standing around and staring in the middle\nof the aisles as if they were extras from The Walking Dead) - it was\nlike real-life Frogger. I wasn't sure I was going to make it outta\nthere in one piece. A relative from outta town wanted to impress me\nwith her Costco card. Alright. Color me freaking impressed. Boner City!\nShe bought enough stuff that I knew I'd have to pack the freezer like\nit was a piece of luggage where you try to fit all the excess crap you\nbought on your trip by sitting on it just to close it. All I wanted to \ndo was just GTFO as soon as humanly possible. I will probably never get \na damn Costco card unless there's a real zombie apocalypse and I end up \nhousing and feeding several infantry units at my place. In that case I \nprobably won't need a card. We'd come back and just take what we need \nand I bet the same zombies will still be in the aisles. Standing. Staring. \nAim for the goddamn head!