text: If you're into Ahwatukee Housewives swapping and popping prescription smack on Saturday night, having your ass grabbed by a creepy divorcee old enough to be your father, weak sauce beverages and \"Mexican food\" that makes Taco Bell look appealing, then you will absolutely love Loco Patron.\n\nI also haven't been back in four years, so maybe things have changed. Still, I wouldn't go out of my way to give it another shot.