text: if you want to fit in san tan valley here is a step by step guide.\n\n1. be really proud of yourself for buying a super cheap house in the middle of nowhere. but don't tell anyone the location bc the moment you do people are less impressed.... and more turned off. \n\n2. bc of #1, you can afford rims on your car. be sure to buy the ugliest  ones possible. people here prefer black rims with chrome outline.\n\n3. roll down your windows\n\n4. tune your radio to rap music \n\n5. blast it really loud\n\n6. drive with your left arm only, straight out, and lean back. be sure you wear your wrist watch on this arm so that others can see it out your window. bonus points if you wiggle your wrist pretending to adjust the watch, but really you just want it to sparkle under the light.\n\nim not exaggerating, we saw about 10 different cars like this while eating our china chef. \n\n(i just checked out someone's profile who lives in san tan valley. first person i clicked on listed interest: purple drank. what are the chances? i rest my case.)\n\nthis whole review is an embarrassment, but it must be said. \n\ndon't ask why i was in this part of town last night, but i was. and we were waiting for a long time in this shopping center and hadn't had dinner. china chef of burger king? china chef it is! \n\nthe food wasn't disgusting, actually it was just meh but edible and better than BK (on 2nd thought, maybe if i find myself in that horrible town/shopping center i will do BK). the space was clean and blah blah blah.  \n\nthat's not the problem. the problem is that the meal doesn't come with a gas mask for later. and my body wasn't the only one having issues with this food. for the record, i've eaten my fair share of questionable food and i have never had a reaction like this. \n\nshhuuuuuuuuu-weeeeeeeee.