text: Disappointing! As a vegetarian, I had high hopes for Fern, but the food was flavorless and executed poorly. The atmosphere is cozy, small and quaint with soft, mason jar chandelier lighting. The service was good. But I can't get over how bad the food was. \n\nThe CAULIFLOWER POUTINE was a good idea, but the potato mixed with the cauliflower had been whipped to the point of having a glue-y texture. The kind of texture that makes your tongue stick to the top of your mouth while you're trying to chew. The cheese curd tasted like mozzarella, which was fine, but nothing special. The tomato gravy was fine, and the little pile of greens on top were the only interesting flavor in the dish (very strong and herb-y). We were planning to order a few more appetizers, but after the Poutine showing, we ditched that idea. \n\nThe OM BURGER was inedible. The bun was dry and hard, and the burger patty was dense and hard and flavorless. The condiments couldn't save this burger. \n\nThe 200 YEAR OLD SOURDOUGH FLATBREAD title created a hype that the thick, hard, stale, non-sour flatbread did not live up to. I took 3 bites, which was 2 too many. On the plus side, the topping - chorizo, verde sauce, red onions and cotija cheese - was flavorful and delicious. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in scraping and only eating the top of my pizza. \n\nThe sides were also a disappointment. The QUINOA of the day was described as red quinoa, mango, mint, red onion, and some other delicious sounding ingredients. It was fresh and cold, but not at all delicious. After coating with salt, a few bites were edible, but really still no flavor at all. \n\nThe SMASHED CRISPY FINGERLING POTATOES had potential, but only 3 of 12 potatoes were actually smashed and crispy. The other 9 were whole boring fingerling potatoes with no flavor or crunch. After mixing the flatbread topping with some of the potatoes, I was able to eat a few bites. \n\nThe waitress seemed surprised that we didn't want to take to-go the 75% of our dishes that we didn't eat. No, thanks. We're heading to Taco Bell for a little flavor.