text: Once upon a time a young Australian named Scott ventured to a far off land named Las Vegas. Scott had heard tales of magical machines that sometimes, but rarely gave you money if you pushed buttons on them for long enough. Scott heard of ladies that wore very little and drinks that were very large. He also heard tales of burgers the size of a small child and it became his quest while in this strange land to track down, and devour one of these famed burgers.\n\nNot deterred by the reviews of a mixed nature to be found on the magical tome known as Yelp, Scott set his sights on the Heart Attack Grill. Neon signs beckoned him forth. Posters in the windows told him that alcohol was good for him. Scott agreed. He stepped through the doors, with his beloved (and vegetarian) wife in tow, and was promptly greeted by a young lady in a nurses uniform. This was not like any nurse Scott had seen before. Nurses dressed in such skimpy attire in the strange land of Vegas. Upon being greeted Scott was cloaked in a surgical gown that no doubt had magical properties and was led to his waiting table.\n\nThe Grill was quiet, for it was late afternoon on a week day. Scott ordered a Double Bypass burger and when asked if extra bacon would be required Scott answered \"Yes, yes it will\". Scott's wife, the vegetarian Leisha, simply smiled and ordered a large beverage of an amber liquid known as beer. \n\nBefore too long the burger had arrived. It was as large as the fables had told and Scott was quite pleased, though a little shocked. Scott was not expecting the food in this strange place to be of what looked to be good quality. The fries looked crisp and brown and tasted slightly of lard. Lard is good.\n\nThe burger glistened in the light. Scott looked around the room at the images on the wall that parodied films of yesteryear and smiled, then picked up the weighty burger with two trembling hands and took his first bite. It was good. Very good. Surprisingly good actually. This challenge would be a welcome one with such delicious treats on offer. Leisha asked Scott how his burger tasted as she sipped from her mammoth beer. \"Delicious\" was Scott's reply through mouthfuls of juicy meat before diving back in. \n\nBefore too long Scott was halfway through his burger and he was beginning to falter. But Scott's will was strong. He could not return to his home in Australia letting this challenge best him, so he bunkered down and dove back in. The burger was rapidly decreasing in size, as Scott felt he was rapidly increasing in size. And then, with one almighty fist pump the final bite was downed and Scott was victorious. He was elated.\n\n\nAfter an appropriate resting time Scott rose to his feet and felt several kilograms heavier as he waddled to the door and the outside world with a grin on his face and a cow in his stomach. Victory was his, but it was not the poor gentleman's who was currently bent over a table being spanked by a nurse.