text: I am not a mean person, not a vindictive person. I bear the friendly people of Pizza Parma no ill will.\n\nBut their pizza was remarkably terrible.\n\nWent there, hungry, a bit past midnight, looking for a little something before going home to sleep. They don't have slices--this seems to be a (terrible, stupefying, egregious) trend in these parts. Fine. The smallest pizza, a \"personal\" pie, costs $7 and is 7\" in diameter. The cashier and I agree that that's a very small amount of pizza, and since I'm hungrier than one and one half mouthsful, I get a \"small,\" which is 10\". I add a mushroom topping. I pay my $11.21 and wait.\n\nThere are two seating options inside the store: a small wooden bench, and two fold up chairs around a little table. Conveniently, they were using the wooden bench to store a rolled up carpet that laid across the whole thing, and they'd also elected to fold up the two folding chairs, probably because they were tired from a long day of being used as chairs. So I waited outside the store on a bench.\n\nThe friendly cashier and the friendly patrons waiting for their order indoors called me over when my pizza was ready. I took it outside, sitting in the cold to eat it, thinking, \"I hope this $11 pizza is pretty good.\" Opened up the box, saw how pitifully small a 10\" pizza is, and started eating.\n\nLet me say something about pizza: if you have decent cheese, decent tomato sauce, flour, water, and a hot oven, you can make a passable pizza. I will eat it and think, \"well this isn't the best pizza I've ever had but it's fine.\" That is not what I thought when I ate Pizza Parma's pizza. I thought, \"it would be too rude and insulting to ask for my money back. I'll just try to eat as much of this as I can.\"\n\nI ate three out of the six \"slices.\" (One sixth of a 10\" pizza is a total of *25/6 = 13 square inches. That sounds like a lot of pizza, but in fact is a tiny amount of pizza.) I couldn't stand to eat more than half. The mushrooms were fine; I fished them out and ate them. The cheese was actually terrible; it had a strange chemical taste and plasticky appearance. The crust was poofy and not crusty.\n\nAshamedly, I threw half of a pizza away tonight. Folks, I am not a food destroyer. I eat things I don't like, and expired foods, because I don't want to waste. It takes a legitimately terrible pizza for me to actually throw the thing away.\n\nWent home, made some eggs, and guess what? The terrible cheese taste from an hour and a half ago? It's still in my mouth. I'm not making this up.\n\nI know there's good pizza around here. Ordered two back to back slices at Spak Brothers--delicious! Tasty! Reasonable price! But whoaaaaaaa whoa was this terrible, overexpensive pizza. Sheesh.