text: Sorry about the abuse thing -- but you found a nice guy anyway -- good for you.  You will feel less stressed if you do indeed find some time just for you.  But that is tough.  Raising 4 kids is draining even if you wanted all of them.  Don't you have a mom in law who will take them for awhile?  Have you thought of day care, just a day or two per week.  Having time to be by yourself is really important, even if you have to pay a ton for it. And make sure you plan a date once in awhile with your husband, where only you and he are together.  Get away for an overnight trip, even if it is just in a local motel, with some champagne cheese and crackers.... Raising kids is not cheap -- finding time to be by yourself or with your husband isn't cheap either, but you two need to reconnect once in awhile to remind each other who you each are.