text: i fully understand.what your saying.its just people do not know what to say.they feel uncomfortable.they would rather hide from you because they do not know what to say.i have lost my wife of 23years to an illnes that saw her end her days in hospital.not cancer.my mother died of that in 1975 when i was 19 years old.my wifes illness was transplant related.i lost a 10 year old .it took him 3 months to die in a hospital after suffering horrific burns over 67% of his little body and he was such a georgous child everyone said so.i then lost my eldest son in a TRA.head on into a tree.he was dead at the scene.that was just 14 days before christmas 1999.so i understand.freinds were embarrassed when ever i was around.when i walked into a room or a bar .it would go silent.they just felt so bad for me and did not know what to say.it did not make them bad people.but people just seem to steer clear of awkward situations.sometimes there are no words anyone can say.but a nod and a smile can go a long way.all the while i was losing my wife and my young son.i kept on about taking them on holiday and making plans for the future and being very positive.i always knew that it was a lost cause but i made the most of it and made them smile and gave them hope.but not every one can do that.people are frightened of what they do not understand.and they do not understand death so they want no part of it.but i would never blame people that are not as strong as myself for their actions.when the person in question passes over.the grudges against certain people will intensify.so its not worth carrying any in the first place.i will pray for a pain free peace for your freind.and sooner rather than later.as no one wants to suffer