text: You really cannot get rid of stretchmarks, quickly or slowly, without plastic surgery. You can apply makeup to minimize them, and there are some applications that claim to help shrink them, but I am not aware of any that have been tested and found to work.\n\nThere is no way to enlarge your penis, although, since you're 16, it may get a bit bigger over the next couple of years. The only way to get a much bigger penis is to have a penile transplant, with all the usual problems of transplants. Better to learn how to treat a woman well, because you will have better luck finding a woman who likes you the way you are. There are attachments you can use to help satisfy a woman who has to have a large penis to get her off, though they don't do much for you.\n\nMaybe by the time you're in your 20s, the rabid Republican religious right will no longer control the government, and researchers will be able to find out how to give you a longer penis without surgery, as well as replace hearts and other organs with your own tissue.