text: Norfolk, Va. - While the results of the research are preliminary, scientists at the Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder Research Organization have discovered a genetic link between small penis size and the being liberal. The organization recently began to tabulate data from a two-year study of men with Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder (DMGD) and has posted the results on its Web site, DMGD.org.\n\nThe subjects of the study varied from men with a slight abnormality in penis size to men with pubis innius, a term for an inverted male pubic region. By tracing what has been identified as the "DMGD gene," an abnormality in the 21st chromosome was discovered. Researchers found that this abnormality appears to be consistently linked to two traits: abnormally small male reproductive organs and the ability to derive joy from liberal activities, which starts with acting out in school and, in isolated instances, can manifest itself in homosexual acts. Research team leader Dr. Brad Uplurch and his colleagues in New Orleans, La., plan to investigate whether DMGD was a factor in making San Fransicko California the home of liberal indecency.\n\n"These findings confirm what we have believed for a long time: Liberals just don't measure up."  "They are apparently overcompensating for their failure to succeed in life by adopting deviant behaviors and delusional attitudes."