text: Yes it was Abbot and Cosstello\n\nAbbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.\n\nCostello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.\n\nAbbott: I certainly do.\n\nCostello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.\n\nAbbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.\n\nCostello: You mean funny names?\n\nAbbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...\n\nCostello: His brother Daffy.\n\nAbbott: Daffy Dean...\n\nCostello: And their French cousin.\n\nAbbott: French?\n\nCostello: Goofè.\n\nAbbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...\n\nCostello: That's what I want to find out.\n\nAbbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.\n\nCostello: Are you the manager?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nCostello: You gonna be the coach too?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nCostello: And you don't know the fellows' names?\n\nAbbott: Well I should.\n\nCostello: Well then who's on first?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nCostello: I mean the fellow's name.\n\nAbbott: Who.\n\nCostello: The guy on first.\n\nAbbott: Who.\n\nCostello: The first baseman.\n\nAbbott: Who.\n\nCostello: The guy playing...\n\nAbbott: Who is on first!\n\nCostello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.\n\nAbbott: That's the man's name.\n\nCostello: That's who's name?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nCostello: Well go ahead and tell me.\n\nAbbott: That's it.\n\nCostello: That's who?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nPAUSE\n\nCostello: Look, you gotta first baseman?\n\nAbbott: Certainly.\n\nCostello: Who's playing first?\n\nAbbott: That's right.\n\nCostello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?\n\nAbbott: Every dollar of it.\n\nCostello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.\n\nAbbott: Who.\n\nCostello: The guy that gets...\n\nAbbott: That's it.\n\nCostello: Who gets the money...\n\nAbbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.\n\nCostello: Whose wife?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nPAUSE\n\nAbbott: What's wrong with that?\n\nCostello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?\n\nAbbott: Who.\n\nCostello: The guy.\n\nAbbott: Who.\n\nCostello: How does he sign...\n\nAbbott: That's how he signs it.\n\nCostello: Who?\n\nAbbott: Yes.\n\nPAUSE\n\nCostello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.\n\nAbbott: No. What is on second base.\n\nCostello: I'm not asking you who's on second.\n\nAbbott: Who's on first.\n\nCostello: One base at a time!\n\nAbbott: Well, don't change the players around.\n\nCostello: I'm not changing nobody!\n\nAbbott: Take it easy, buddy.\n\nCostello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?\n\nAbbott: That's right.\n\nCostello: Ok.\n\nAbbott: All right.\n\nPAUSE\n\nCostello: What's the guy's name on first base?\n\nAbbott: No. What is on second.\n\nCostello: I'm not asking you who's on second.\n\nAbbott: Who's on first.\n\nCostello: I don't know.\n\nAbbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.\n\nCostello: Now how did I get on third base?\n\nAbbott: Why you mentioned his name.\n\nCostello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?\n\nAbbott: No. Who's playing first.\n\nCostello: What's on first?\n\nAbbott: What's on second.\n\nCostello: I don't know.\n\nAbbott: He's on third.\n\nCostello: There I go, back on third again!\n\nPAUSE\n\nCostello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.\n