text: I was 20 when my mother died.  I wasn't at her side at the time, but this doesn't bother me much, because the last thing I did say to her was that I loved her.  And, too, I've come to realize that we all really are on our own when we pass away---that's one journey we all must make alone.  It's some consolation to me to realize that, and I hope it consoles you, too.\n\nThat said, I've often wanted to tell her again how much I love her.  I do talk to her and tell her so.  But I think the best way to tell her is to live my life as productively and respectably and happily as possible.  I pursued an education, which I know she wanted.  I practice as a physician, and I believe she is proud of me for that.  I've married a wonderful man, and had beautiful kids.  I think she approves.  And I believe that by fulfilling her wishes for me (a full, happy, productive life), I'm telling her again and again how much I love her and appreciate all she did for me.\n\nI hope you can gradually feel better about this.  I know it took me a long time.  And sometimes it still hurts twentyone years later.