text: What do you mean, first? We lie to women from day 1, right through to the day of the divorce/funeral. All you New Age twonks out there know I am telling the truth, and it doesn't matter if you don't want it to be true - we men lie to women all day, each day every day. We lie to you because we don't want you to know what we've been up to, of course, but a lot of the time we lie to you because that's what you want. You've decided what you want to hear and we just feed it out to you. We also lie to you with empty flattery because that's the best way of getting your knickers off. We lie to you a lot because it's the line of least resistance - it's easier to come up with some stupid line of bollocks than it is to get into an argument with you about trivia. We lie to you and we are going to keep on lying to you until the end of time. Take it or leave it.