text: The funniest I saw was in a local league.  A substitute had taken his track-suite off (it was a freezing cold day) and had been waiting for a considerably long time for the ball to go out of play before the substitution could take place. Eventually when the time came for him to go on, he said to the ref "about f***ing time I'm f***ing freezing".   The ref turned to him and showed him the red card, and said "all right son you can get in the shower and warm up"