text: It's very sad and traumatic when we lose someone we have known for that long.  But to say that you wish you would have died with him is so wrong.  Just imagine the sadness that your parents would have had to endure if they lost both a relative and a daughter.  Grieving takes time and there are stages to it which include denial, anger, resentment, acceptance etc.  Talk with your parents or a counsellor for a start and if you can go visit his grave site and talk with him and let him know that you are sad that he has passed and that you miss him greatly.  But also tell him of the good things that you have planned and that you want to devote some of this goodness in his name.  Hopefully his spirit will be present and you will leave the grave feeling much better after wards.  Make your uncle and family proud and continue to live your life as a happy 14 year old, this is what your uncle would have wanted also.  Good luck getting back on track.