text: It will take time, and much effort on your part, to let the lover go. Stop all contact with him/her; when you find your mind wandering to him/her, stop and think of something else; focus on your family and your marriage.\n\nFind something good about your spouse that attracted you to him/her in the first place.\n\nAsk yourself these questions:\n\nHave you done everything you can think of to salvage what's left of your marriage?\n\nDo you have any feelings at all left for your spouse, be they negative or positive?\n\nIf you answer "yes" to either of those questions, there is still something left, and you should work on it and give all your energy to it. Good luck.