text: That's why communication is important in a relationship.  After 3yrs you should be able to freely express your feelings with each other. Best thing to do is just tell her, don't worry about if it will hurt her, best thing to do is be honest.  It would hurt her more to stay because actions speak louder than words and soon your feelings will start to surface, so instead of putting her through all kinds of emotional abuse just tell her and then leave.  She'll later respect you for handling it like a man.