Death and pain are natural realities.  And as such can be sanctified, made good, holy.  They can help us move closer to God, not just at the 'moment' after death.

Death (and all events leading up to our death or the death of our loved ones) can become a "way" of growing closer to God and our loved ones, drawing out of us thousands of acts of charity, acts of reconciliation, and an ever greater trust in God's provident actions. 

Deep and lively intimacy with Jesus Christ is the purpose of death and all its surrounding events.

Some believe that they can construct - and that society should construct - and that Church should sanction - a different set of realities. 

These people will still die, but it won't be a holy and good death.  It will be one of denial and avoidance, filled with either great bitterness or lonely indifference.  

Our work is to help them understand a far more beautiful way.