text: It seems we are in agreement about both personal forgiveness AND civil punishment.  I have long since come to realize that a lot of what consumed my anger towards others was really self inflicted punishment.  
       
  This included my relationship with a brother who left me holding the bag too many times.  I was furious about stuff like his wrecking my car with just a oops to take its place.  I should have forgiven him years ago.  Imagine my surprise when he called me to tell me he had just found out he had a very virulent form of cancer and that I was the first person he wanted to talk with, before even calling his own kids.  Over the next 4 months we had many great conversations that his wife told me helped him out a lot.  Sadly, during what was to be our last conversation he started to have some bad coughing and we needed to stop the call.  Before calling I had decided to tell him that I totally forgave him, but held back because of how weak he sounded.  Lost my chance he died.