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Today was Julia's first real day at daycare, and my first day back to work. All day I have just been SAD. I miss having her with me all the time. I hate pumping, instead of just nursing her. I worry about her napping at daycare and if she's getting enough attention. I wonder if working is worth it.

I wish this were a clear-cut decision; I wish I had a specific goal that I wanted to work toward, such as "quit working by 2010." But, unfortunately it's not so cut-and-dried. In fact, even though I miss the kids all day, I'm not positive I want to stay at home with both of them full time. I'm very conflicted in what I want, which is worse than just not having what you want. Logically, it makes sense for me to keep working. But emotionally, I'm not sure I can do it. Only time will tell. It's only the first day, so I'll have to give it some time and see how it goes. I just wish it were easier all around. Heading to her first day of school. She looks about as excited as I feel.

Posted by Kate at 5:02 PM Labels: Julia, Pictures

