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Moving the Rock and getting Out of the Hardplace 
If you can't say something nice.... 
Norovirus=Devil's Plaything 
Boobie Bean Bags 
Call Rocks! 
Scientific Hottie 
Wash Your Hands!! 
Saint in a Box 
My Goodness! Its been more than a little crazy for me this past week at BigWhig. It seems like every consult that we’ve had on the Trauma team has gone back to the OR. Which is wonderful for me as a student, but I have to feel bad for my residents. Captain B has been especially swamped but she’s handled it with an amazing amount of grace. Though I’ve definitely seen her look at myself, Lurch, and Checkpoint (both third years as well) with a sort of ‘damn I’ve got to give these three some busy work to get them out of my hair’ glaze. This week was money though for me: I got to see a perforated ulcer and ruptured spleen!
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 14:21 No comments: 
Top o' the Morning to You

As part of my surgical rotation at BigWhig Hospital we have an hour a week surgical pathology conference. The conference is located in the basement of the oldest part of the hospital. To get there I have to go through several doors marked ‘do not enter’. It is kind of a creepy trek most especially because, as you enter the final door, you get greeted by prosections of the brain. Not the most pleasant of sights. However, the instructor more than makes up for the dank surroundings. He’s the quintessential professor portrayed by Hollywood. Dashingly intelligent, somewhat ethereal, white hair, grandfatherly form, and Irish accent (ok, so Hollywood usually gives them a British accent). He’s something from another era entirely. He’s a pathologist, who I believe is as passionate about his specimens as most doctors are about their patients. He forever quotes Robbins and refers to the students as ‘Doctor’ in a slightly cheeky and condescending tone that is adorable. He spends the time with us showing formaldehyde soaked specimens and quizzing us on what they are and the pathophysiology behind the disease. Honestly, it is ridiculously hard and somewhat useless, from a surgical standpoint, to identify a 40 year old specimen as its perfused counterpart in real life. And truthfully, I’ve not gotten much out of these sessions that has helped me in the rotation. But I love them. Each one makes me feel like we’re stepping back in time to a more bookish and slow paced era. And I feel lucky to be taught by this character of a man. He’s definitely an Original and these days I think that’s very hard to find.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 21:14 No comments: 
The Incredible Edible Egg I foresee that the people that brought us the above catchy phrase will soon be sitting around in a boardroom attempting to find a way to work the following bit of information into the new jingle.

The Roslin Institute, otherwise famous for bringing Dolly into the world, has given a press release stating that they’ve made anti-cancer chicken eggs. Now, first off, what they’ve done (which is pretty damn cool in and of itself) is found a way to engineer chickens so that they lay eggs which contain medically relevant proteins in their egg whites. This isn't going to cure cancer, but it is exciting! The extremely cool bit is creating these proteins for the price of chicken feed (substantially less than other current methods I assure you). However, I wouldn’t go out and buy chicken commodities anytime soon: it will probably be a long time before these tasty drugs are available in the U.S.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 20:25 1 comment: The Never Ending Pile You would think with the fact that I’ve been wearing scrubs every day for work, my laundry load wouldn’t be so bad, right? That’s what I thought too, until this morning when I attempted to tackle the issue that I’ve been putting off for the past three weeks (ok, so I would have put it off longer but my supply of fresh necessities was running low). I woke up this morning at 7am (not on purpose! My body was just so used to waking up much earlier on this rotation that 7am seemed like sleeping in till noon) and started working on my mountain. FOUR LOADS later!!! And I’m almost done. Four loads people! I mean I live alone, am only doing laundry for one person, and have been wearing scrubs every day for work. What the heck is up with that? And I really hate laundry. Not to mention the fact that it seems to be laundry day in my building and we're all racing to get one of the three units in our building...Sweet little old ladies can become very cutthroat when they want their sheets washed.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 11:52 No comments: 
Andreas Vesalius (1514-1564) This was one Belgian that Galen most certainly wouldn’t have had breakfast with. He was a physician who spent years dissecting human bodies (nice thought that, right?) and proved that Galen’s ancient works on anatomy were based on the dissection (and sometimes vivisection~ fun stuff; especially when performed in front of a crowd) of ….drum roll please….apes. He compiled his findings into the texts De Humani Corporis Fabrica (if your Latin is a bit rusty that would be: On the Workings of the Human Body). This was a seven volume compendium that was based on his dissection of the human body. The volumes were artistically illustrated with a multitude of engravings that posed the corpse in a number of amusing and slightly ridiculous ways. The popularity of these revolutionary texts gave him enough fame that the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V ( He ruled Germany before it was German) appointed him as court physician. Like most men, he left his cushy job to go off on some midlife crisis. But this was the 1500s and instead of grabbing the nearest 20s something blonde secretary and high tailing it to Vegas he went to the Holy Land. Like most midlife crises it ended badly. In 1564, on his way home, his ship sunk off the coast of the island of Zacynthus.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 20:00 No comments: The Cat Lady: Meow 
What drugs will not cure, the knife will (Hippocrates) 
Can I please have a sandwhich?

Hard work is undesirable for the underfed. 
Hippocratic Aphorism of the Day

"Life is short, and the Art long"

I think the one thing that third year is really good at making you feel is inadequate. There is so much that you feel that you should know already, be able do do already, be able to explain already, that you spend half the time wanting to curl up in a ball and the other half wanting to cram (ok, so maybe the desire to cram only comes when you're being pimped). Somehow I find this aphorism especially reassuring: I mean the ancients didn't even have to contend with the biochemical process of disease and still they found medicine an overwhelming topic. Of course, they also went around tasting urine, so maybe I shouldn't use them as a gold standard.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 22:30 No comments: When they let the Med3 actually do something... Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 22:28 No comments: In the Begining:

So I’ve just started my surgical rotation at BigWig Hospital. And yes, for those who have gone before me, I do realize that this is a terrible time to invent a new way to waste time. However, there is something cathartic about ranting in my own little corner of cyberspace and I’ve already done my required 2 chapters of reading for the evening so drum rolls please:

I have to admit that I’ve enjoyed it more than I expected. I went into medical school with a very nebulous idea of entering primary care. Approximately, 20 weeks of that in various specialties was enough to disillusion me out of that particular fairytale. And surgery is just fun.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 22:09 No comments: The Medical Student's Prayer on General Surgery

God, today can I please not feel like a useless appendage.
Can I not get yelled at by the attending,
for the labs that weren’t ordered by the resident

Can I not get yelled at by the intern,
for the nurse who decided that only nurses can be ‘patient advocates’

Can I not get yelled at by the nurse
for the fact she/he can’t make anyone else’s life hell
as much as she/he can make mine.

Can I get something to eat
before I’ve gone hungry for 12 hours

Can I sleep for at least 4 hours

Can I not get splashed by urine/blood/worse

Oh, and if You could manage it:
Can I not spend 10 hours in the OR with
the surgeon who believes all Med3s
should know how to recite Netter in Greek.
Posted by TaciturnGossamer at 21:59 1 comment: Hall of Medical Quotes

7. Backrow Medical Student to Lecturing Physician Assistant: Bullshit

8. Uh, what'd you do with the gloves? 
Isle of Kos Prerequisite Disclaimer