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"I Believe ... Help Thou My Unbelief" I have been thinking a lot about my faith. My faith in God - - my God.

I believe He is the source of all meaning in life - all joy and peace come from Him and from knowing Him. I believe that everything I need in life He will provide for. I believe He cares for me and thinks of me often. I believe that in the center of His will there is peace, complete fulfillment - and total safety. I believe He loves me more than anyone else could ever love me.

I do believe - - and yet - - I fear.

I fear the unknown future - hardships that may come my way. I fear parting with friends and possessions that I have come to love and cherish. I fear that I will not enjoy where He leads me. I fear for I am flesh.

I fear - - and my soul is frustrated because deep down in spite of the fear - - I believe.

I want to be assured that I am ready to stand for my faith - for my God - in the face of any adversity. I want to think that I am willing to give up all for Christ alone. But yet, when confronted with changes that demand meager sacrifice and change - I find my flesh in fear.

It is because of this fear that I hesitate to believe my faith would be able to withstand intense persecution. With this fear deep within me - I doubt whether I would be able to ever counted among the martyrs who died for their faith - often enduring intense persecutions causing death to be a welcoming end to their journey here on earth. Oh, how I long to be counted amongst them. To know deep within me that if ever I was asked to renounce my faith - I would stand true to what I truly believe. But assurance is far from me - for how could I stand for my faith when staring death in the eye - if I am not willing to sacrifice the convenient things of life for His will for my life.

Fear is an immobilizer of belief. Fear is powerful - strong - and blinding. Fear causes one to forget - fear brings amnesia to one's belief system.

Then I was reminded - Love conquers over fear. Love motivates over fear. Love is stronger than fear. It is not my love for Him that will motivate my faith - but rather His love for me that will conquer fear. I must be consumed with Him. He must be the center of my thoughts. I must "learn of Him" - for as I know Him better I will grow secure in His love for me. As I set before me His sacrifice for me - He gave everything - I am secure - secure that His leading will always be what is best for me. You see, His love for me - total sacrifice for my redemption - will grow my faith - will strengthen my faith - and will remove the doubts that fear brings my way.

Christ's love for me - the conquering power over fear.

I think often of what it will be like those first moment in Heaven. When my eyes see the One who died for me. I desperately want to hear the words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant... " Christ must be my passion. I must be consumed with Him.

"Oh to be saved from myself; dear Lord! Oh, to be lost in Thee..."
"Mold me and make me after Thy will - while I am waiting yielded and still."
May His love for us conquer fear - and may we accomplish great things for Christ. Blessings my Friends, 
Marti...Can I link this post to my blog....as a post...just announcing it as FEAR..and then sending them to you...
this has really struck a Chord in my heart..

January 3, 2008 at 10:56 AM 
Deby, That would be fine. I would be happy to have your readers link over from your site to mine.

I am glad that God blessed your heart with these promices.


January 3, 2008 at 12:08 PM Mrs. Elliott said...

Martie, thank you for sharing and writing from your heart. I have been struggling with similar thoughts as my husband and I prepare for a move overseas. Thank you for the encouragement.


January 3, 2008 at 12:21 PM 
Please know you are not alone. 1 Year ago i could have written this post. God is faithful and His grace is sufficiant. I know you know this--sometimes i just need to hear it, speak it, write it again myself. Praying for you right now.

January 3, 2008 at 12:45 PM 
I'm here from Deby's blog.

This is an excellent post and I can tell it's straight from your heart. Thank you. It blessed me. (o:


PS. An acronym of fear I've heard before is:


January 3, 2008 at 1:47 PM 

Marti--oh, how I needed this exact post today. It has blessed my heart and is very healing at this moment. Thank you for sharing this. The Lord knew how to get me to your blog today.



January 3, 2008 at 1:51 PM 
I needed this today also. My dad got a call from the doctor today with 'not-so-good' news. Even though I keep trying to prepare myself about losing my parents someday, I just can't deal with it without Christ. You are so right when you said we have to remain close to Him. Only He can cast out the fear in us.
Thank you for reminding me.

January 3, 2008 at 3:32 PM 
Hello, I came here from Deby's blog.

I really liked this post. Thanks for it.

I liked your blog and will be back.

January 4, 2008 at 12:37 AM 
This was an excellent - and very relevant - post, Martie! I have often had those exact thoughts about persecution and the fear that goes with them. Thank you for such a great post!

January 4, 2008 at 2:17 PM 
Your blog is very beautiful. I have a scripture for you. God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. But all those feelings are certainly normal for us humans. :o)

January 21, 2008 at 1:21 AM