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I'll take an order of baby...hold the pity, please (Elijah coming for a visit on Christian's last day of school)

I was startled by a thought tonight. Because there are so many societal misconceptions about Down syndrome, I think there might actually be people who pity me. HA! It's actually a fairly comical thought to me. However, when I first received news that our baby would have Down syndrome, I was devastated- that things were not what I expected, that there were a lot of scary unknowns, that my child might be at a disadvantage in life. After I had some time to adjust, and some time to meet other people who have children with an extra chromosome, I started realizing that life is not going to be much different than any other situation. There are never guarantees with children. I know people who had the typical number of chromosomes who managed to totally screw up their lives, regardless. I know children who are beautiful and typical in every way and are still a nightmare to be around. There are illnesses and medical conditions in any and every walk of life. When you think about it, do we ever get what we expect?

I got a chance to show off my baby boy, Elijah, the other day. It was Christian's last day of transition preschool (where I was in class with him) and Charles brought Elijah in at the end of the class to say 'hi'. It was really cute, because as soon as I told Christian that Elijah was there, his face lit up, "Elijah's here??!" and he ran over to where a group of his toddler friends were gathered around to see the baby. He elbowed his way into the front with a proud grin. It was only as we were leaving that I realized that one of the Moms that knew about Elijah's diagnosis had kept her distance. I actually really could care less...and she may have had a cold or been distracted or who knows what, so it was only a fleeting observation. But, it's totally possible that she pitied me, and as a result I feel a handful of pity toward her. It's not just because I think my youngest son is the sweetest baby I've met, or because he has been nothing but joy to be around so far, but because (if she did feel pity) of her ignorance about Down syndrome. So, for those who don't know that there's nothing to pity, or for those that have a prenatal diagnosis and think that it's something akin to a death sentence, I have re-posted a list of "Myths and Truths" from the National Down Syndrome Society. (Erin- if you're reading this- THANKS! I totally stole your idea, but think it's an important enough one to post again!)

Myth: Most children with Down syndrome are born to older parents.
Truth: Most children with Down syndrome are born to women younger than 35 years old simply because younger women have more children. However, the incidence of births of children with Down syndrome increases with the age of the mother.

Myth: Adults with Down syndrome are unable to form close interpersonal relationships leading to marriage.
Truth: People with Down syndrome date, socialize, form ongoing relationships and marry.

Might be a little different than what you first assumed? It was for me. I'll admit that I knew next to nothing about Down syndrome and had outdated reservations and fears about what it would mean for our family. Now that Elijah is here and doin' his baby thang, it's pretty hard to focus on anything negative about this little one. He's precious. He's worthy. And I am proud to call him my son. Today Elijah did something that I'm SO excited about: He latched on to nurse without the nipple shield!!!!!! I have been carrying this silicon shield around to nurse him everywhere, and while it is not the worst thing it the world, it was still an extra small struggle (to not lose it, to remember to take it with me on outings, when Eli would knock it off accidentally while nursing...) Now that he's 7 weeks old, I decided to give another try without the nipple shield and....no issue! He's a baby-nursing-pro. Call me crazy, but I'm proud of that.

I hope that the Myths and Truths from the NDSS and my experiences so far, can give just a few people a better picture of a life that was more than we expected... an extra chromosome more...and a heart full of gratitude more. Posted by Jen Currier at 9:25 PM 
I'm not even sure how we connected on fb. I have a lot of friends that share the same DS connection on fb. And I'm not sure if I sent out the friend request but I'm glad I decided to stop by your blog and got to take a peek into your family. It's a beautiful family! I enjoyed reading your words and thoughts. Now I need to go back and start from the beginning. :)

June 14, 2010 at 11:07 PM 
I have spent the last little while reading your blog and I have to say I am just in love with it! I love how open and honestly you write, I have enjoyed so many of your posts and shared so many of the very same feelings. I look forward to following it :)

September 6, 2010 at 3:18 PM