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Moving back to logical

Last year at this time, I was driving my Moutaineer that I had lovingly dubbed "the rusty clunker" it had almost 100,000 miles on it and it "clunked" when I put it into gear...
It was time to search for a new car, and search we did! I sold my truck and panic set in. I hadn't chosen a car, and countless hours of hunting for the perfect vehicle were turning up nothing I liked! I went 8 days without a car, and for a momma on the go, that was pure torture! The day FINALLY came where I decided I liked Escalades. It was amusing to me, because just a little under 2 years before, I was envying the Escalade a fellow school mom was driving; never dreaming that I would soon be getting one of my very own. It was a dream when we found one at a great price, that we were able to pay mostly cash for and have a small car payment to pay off the rest. Manageable. What a treat!
The day we brought our new car home

It's been almost a year now of driving this dream car, and I would be crazy if I said I didn't love it! I have an urging inside of me that keeps telling me it's extravagant and wasteful to have such a large vehicle when I am driving over an hour each day taking Acilia to school and bringing her home. I fill up the gas tank 2 times a week and every single time I go; my justification for having a gas guzzler diminishes. It also reallllly bugs me when I notice imperfections. The car is in great shape, but every little morsel that's left behind, every drip of wintery slush, every "jean dye scooch" I've left behind on the tan leather as I get out of the truck each time, it all just irks me! I am craving a practical, fuel efficient car that we can purchase for under what we paid for this truck, so we will have no car payment again.

I can't believe I am saying it, it's been on my heart for a while, and I have talked to hubby about it; he agrees. He's a very logical man but never once would urge me to get rid of something I love. Now here's the hard part. I love having the room of an SUV! I have room to fit 4 kids in my car and that comes in REALLY handy because my nieces and nephew love coming with us. I also love how high up we are, no back breaking to get my little guy in and out. I know it's just a luxury that I've gotten used to, and before SUV's I was a car loving girl; it will be an adjustment, but there has to be some sacrifice right? Can't have it all?

Matthew 6:19 "Do not lay up for yourself treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
Posted by Karrie at 12:26 PM No comments: 
You Capture-Holiday faves My kids, Acilia 7 and Miles 2 Cousins in matching PJS! "It's raining presents!" My kids showing some love to one another! Our Winter hike! Awesome crystalized snowflaks! This is my favorite shot of the day! My niece Kristin 3 needed a lift! Posted by Karrie at 4:36 PM 6 comments: 
Christmas blessings. 
Feeling thankful 

From our family to your's. Here's our 2010 Christmas card Posted by Karrie at 1:35 PM No comments: 
Missing the baking gene (Courtesy of Google Images)

This time of year officially marks "baking bonanza" for many people. I begrudgingly admit, I am NOT one of those people! I don't have a joy for baking, I don't have a baking bone in my body *unless you count the boxed muffins I keep in my pantry for "back up" when I have a need to feel domesticated.* I never gave it much thought, but this year, I am feeling like I am lacking. Facebook is the culprit. I keep reading status updates about people cheerfully baking their hearts out and I am left wondering what is wrong with me?? Is this a gene, I was supposed to get, but didn't? Have I been jipped? Part of me wants to try baking some cookies or something, to see if I can spring a mood inside of me, but then part of me wants to rebel and say I am NOT into baking and there is nothing wrong with that. Why do I feel guilty about it then?
Posted by Karrie at 2:08 PM No comments: 
Snowy Winter Day

I sit here today, with the urge to update, I've been wanting to update for a few days now, but my motivation is severely lacking. Not just with writing here, but with everything. I am struggling. I am a person that suffers from anxiety and a phobia and up until last spring, I was taking a daily med to keep my chemicals balanced. I weaned off my meds last spring, was feeling great. Until winter crept up on me and the stomach flu started going around. That's my phobia, the stomach flu and hearing about it all the time, has caused my anxiety to peak the last few weeks. I was trying to fight it alone. I was losing the fight. I decided it's not worth it to stay off the meds and feel anxious all the time! I started taking my meds again about 2 weeks ago. I've been struggling the last few weeks, waiting for my meds to kick in. I know they take three weeks, but it's just so much stress on my body to wait. I wake up every morning with a fresh dose of anxiety. I can't eat. I am literally forcing food down my throat because absolutely nothing appeals to me. I've lost weight. It's ironic because when I wanted to get off my meds back in spring, my motivation was because I had 20 pounds lingering from when Miles was born. I felt so good on my meds that I was "happily eating" all the time, instead of working weight off. Now, I have my way, I've lost my weight; but the cost has been agonizing.

So that's where I'm at. Each day is a struggle. I am counting down until the meds kick in, hoping it will only be one more week so I can get out of my own head and start thinking of others this Christmas season.
Posted by Karrie at 1:33 PM 1 comment: 
December 3rd