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The day of my son's diagnosis a psychologist asked me if I trusted them. At the time I remember thinking, what a strange question but now I think that it is beginning to make more sense.

I had often heard people (mostly men) talk about the huge wave of love they felt towards their new born child coupled with a sense of overwhelming panic at the sheer responsibility of the task ahead. I strongly believe that women feel the same but that we are programmed not to admit it. Instead we trust our maternal instincts.

From the moment I held my children I knew I would do anything I could to protect them. I find handing responsibility over to someone else extremely hard. Yes, I know that I am a control freak but take a look at any mum having an emotional breakdown on her child's first day at day care or school and ask yourself why is she doing this? I have to trust someone else to look after my child?!!!!

Yet as a parent of a child with special needs I afford an immense amount of trust to the professionals dealing with my child. I hand him over to physiotherapists, speech therapists, psychologists etc and trust that they are the experts. But then I hear conflicting advice, or I am questioned about why we haven't tried "this" or done "that". How do you know who to listen to? Who is the expert? Who do I trust?

I trust my instincts and I listen to my boy.

Catherine Heemskerk

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