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Pitch Polish Blog Hop

Gearing Up to Get An Agent (GUTGAA) Blog Hop Pitch Critque

Deana Barnhart has come up with an ingenious way to help out out aspiring novelists. She has created the Gearing Up To Get An Agent blog hop. This blog hop was created to give writers a chance to have their pitch critiqued by their peers. Please feel free to give helpful critique to help polish up this Pitch to attract a literary agent.
Here's my pitch:

Name: Debbie Cocchio

Title: The Psychic Circle, Souls Entwined
Genre: YA Paranormal
Word Count: 56,043

Rachel hears spirits and delivers messages from the dead, Billy taps into minds. Along with a psychic, a shaman, and a healer they form “The Psychic Circle” to explore their unique paranormal world.
Billy teaches Rachel about things she never knew existed when he takes a risk, linking his mind to hers, taking her places she’s never been before, teaching her trust and compassion through their explorations, and awakening a newfound desire within.

When black-magic-obsessed Melody joins, things go very wrong. Their souls are manipulated against their wills and they retaliate.
Souls Entwined takes a different twist than the usual paranormal – no vampires or werewolves. Instead, it searches the world of supernatural teens struggling with the “normal” world, while navigating their own. It’s based on true, mind-blowing experiences in a real ‘psychic circle’ with an added twinge of romance.

First 150 words:
I glance down at my arms, hairs standing at attention, causing me to shiver as the
icy coldness rakes its fingers up and down my spine, gripping my soul. Cool sweat beads form across my upper lip.

It’s definitely not the first time a spirit has walked through me. Typically unexpected, it usually catches me off guard.

You’d think I’d get used to it by now.

Geez! I hate it when this happens!

My heart thumps louder.

Trembling, I lean over and prop myself up against the planked wall, my cheek presses against the coolness of the wood. A ball of electricity surges through me, tugging at the fibre of my being and knocking the air from my lungs. Ringing reverberates in my ears while I close my eyes and gasp for oxygen like a drowning victim in an icy lake. I shudder.

I think I just wet myself.

Now your turn: Please leave constructive comments to polish this up and help me land an agent.

And feel free to visit the other pitches on the blogs below.
This is a Blog Hop!

Posted by D. L. Cocchio at 5:35 PM