[null, {"document_url": "http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/frances-taylor/safety-first-outwitting-y_b_11178432.html", "unformatted_src": "https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vIqQIDghopc/V5Unp-EhjCI/AAAAAAAAJl0/5xic6iSco2k-yxj5XSkfA3gC8apfPXIFwCK4B/s320/pin.jpg", "src": "https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vIqQIDghopc/V5Unp-EhjCI/AAAAAAAAJl0/5xic6iSco2k-yxj5XSkfA3gC8apfPXIFwCK4B/s320/pin.jpg", "formatted_filename": "pin", "rendered_width": 135, "rendered_height": 320}, null, {"document_url": "http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/frances-taylor/safety-first-outwitting-y_b_11178432.html", "unformatted_src": "https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FUapq2IEMh8/V5Uf864B2bI/AAAAAAAAJlQ/UnXkHHjx1tUjiE2KTsDqkbUaEHofYJkbACK4B/s320/2016-01-18%2B15.53.44.jpg", "src": "https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FUapq2IEMh8/V5Uf864B2bI/AAAAAAAAJlQ/UnXkHHjx1tUjiE2KTsDqkbUaEHofYJkbACK4B/s320/2016-01-18%2B15.53.44.jpg", "rendered_width": 180, "rendered_height": 320}, null, {"document_url": "http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/frances-taylor/safety-first-outwitting-y_b_11178432.html", "unformatted_src": "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_76dhloDsk/V45fQdorVuI/AAAAAAAAJfQ/Tzw_bsxZ6jQZJ3kAJ-ac-aqhwqMqEPomQCK4B/s320/IMG_20160717_081550.jpg", "src": "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_76dhloDsk/V45fQdorVuI/AAAAAAAAJfQ/Tzw_bsxZ6jQZJ3kAJ-ac-aqhwqMqEPomQCK4B/s320/IMG_20160717_081550.jpg", "formatted_filename": "IMG", "alt_text": "The small one standing on an Elefun ", "rendered_width": 228, "rendered_height": 320}, null, {"document_url": "http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/frances-taylor/safety-first-outwitting-y_b_11178432.html", "unformatted_src": "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZUb1F4iAUHQ/V4vwli4lxII/AAAAAAAAJao/1wLGEOa_BD4XexVArJrx7HHTJ8bTec8nQCEw/s320/2016-07-14%2B15.49.21.jpg", "src": "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZUb1F4iAUHQ/V4vwli4lxII/AAAAAAAAJao/1wLGEOa_BD4XexVArJrx7HHTJ8bTec8nQCEw/s320/2016-07-14%2B15.49.21.jpg", "alt_text": "The small one standing on a baby seat", "rendered_width": 207, "rendered_height": 320}, null, {"document_url": "http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/frances-taylor/safety-first-outwitting-y_b_11178432.html", "unformatted_src": "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BlcARHPcS2M/V41Cz3z-5CI/AAAAAAAAJcc/H4pFlk0u3JkyZpW5VBd_QTYpXLh54HGNACK4B/s320/climber2.jpg", "src": "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BlcARHPcS2M/V41Cz3z-5CI/AAAAAAAAJcc/H4pFlk0u3JkyZpW5VBd_QTYpXLh54HGNACK4B/s320/climber2.jpg", "formatted_filename": "climber", "alt_text": "The small one crouching on a desk", "rendered_width": 320, "rendered_height": 320}, null, null, null, null]
There are no two ways about it, babies are dumb.

Newborn - Crawling

For a small baby, baby-proofing is relatively easy: don't place them on top of things they could roll off of. It is a fact of life that babies learn to roll the instant they are placed on a bed and you've nipped out for a wee.

As they start to get a bit bigger, they'll go through the 'everything in the mouth' phase during which everyone likes to tell you they're teething or ready to wean even though they blatantly aren't. Again, it's pretty straightforward: make sure suffocation and choking hazards (nappy bags, jewellery, small toys that your toddler might leave around...) are out of reach. Crawling - Walking

The difficult bit starts when they become a bit more mobile. The earlier this happens, the less sense they have. If your baby is like my daughter, and entirely unadventurous, then it's possible that making sure furniture is fixed to the wall, installing a fugly fireguard and a baby gate or two, and hiding electrical outlets will see you through. We have all our plug sockets and wires hidden behind furniture, but on a serious note, plug socket covers aren't recommended (see this website and never sleep again).

If they are more like my son who started crawling dangerously early then you'll probably need to work a bit harder.

The first lesson is keep them contained. Stair gates, cages play pens, travel cots, taping them to the wall; whatever works. You might find your baby does not mind being confined to a smallish space (like child number one), or they might see this as a personal affront and throw an adult-sized tantrum whenever you approach it (like child number two) but even if you have to listen to them wailing while you put the shopping away, cook or pee, it's better than coming back and finding them on top of the fish tank. Or in it.

He's always been a climber. It was cute to start with, now it's just bloody ridiculous. I have a whole folder of pictures dedicated to my son standing on stuff. And sometimes I actually rescue him first without even taking a photo (controversial I know).

1) Lock that shit down.

Apparently if you leave one cupboard or drawer unlocked and filled with toys or things they can play with, this might sate their curiosity. I'm not convinced. Pot lids are almost certainly more exciting than toys.

2) Attach corner guards to sharp furniture. Pretend that you saw it on Pinterest and are going 'Moroccan inspired'. It will essentially make your house like a huge soft play except with nicer tea and less germs. If it's dangerous it has to go. Scissors, knives, hot tea, semi-automatic weapons. Just don't bother.

7) As for anything breakable; priceless ornaments, iPads, fishtanks... Move it or lose it.

MORE:parentsparent voices

