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I went to Bermuda...

kind of a while ago at this point, but I've been so damn busy hanging out with Oprah and such. So yeah.  But in case you were wondering how my cruise to Bermuda was, here's a little recap:

I started every day at the gym. I know, I'm shocked too, but it happened.

Don't worry, though, because afterwords I would eat two breakfasts. The thing about cruise food is that it's not spectacular. In fact, it's marginal at best. But what it lacks in quality, it makes up for in quantity. What cruise food has going for it is its abundance and availability. I'm pretty sure bacon was available 24 hours a day and I think that because I had it at almost every meal, which means like 4 times a day since I had two breakfasts. So, you can imagine how I felt when I returned to civilization and read this:

But also, I'm wondering how many times the health industry is going to *shock* us with news like this.

Anyway, after breakfast(s), I'd sit by the pool and read Tina Fey's book, which made me laugh out loud every paragraph and feel evermore grateful that so many people compare me to her.We do have a lot in common, though. And by that I mean, we both wear glasses and have a lot of gay friends. We also suffer from self-inflicted anxiety and chin acne. Twins! I'd also do a lot of people watching, which gave me a confidence boost since, comparatively, I was more attractive than 90% of the people on the cruise.  Most people were over 45 and overweight.  However, because I'm terrified of the sun and always cold even in the tropics, I spent a lot of the time wearing a long sleeve shirt and/or wrapped in a towel. Therefore, very few people got to experience my (relatively speaking) hot bod. Sorry, folks. (incredible cinematography)

Overall, I'm not quite sure cruises are my cup of tea. I, of course, felt sea-sick most of time and ended up spending $20 on various motion sickness remedies, including these really cool sweatbands: I also would have enjoyed spending more of my time here: Posted by Katie Qué at 12:20 PM No comments: 

Things I learned this weekend: Boston Calling Edition

1. It's hard to pee in a poncho. Posted by Katie Qué at 10:06 AM 7 comments: 


Things I learned this weekend: Bermuda Edition

1. A fish sandwich in Bermuda costs $16.00.
2. I cannot drive a moped. In fact, I probably can't even ride a bike at this point. I can, however, ride on the back of a moped quite well -- I can help guide the driver by saying things like, "Speed bump up ahead." or "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention." 3. I excel at sitting in one place for hours. 4.  I get sea sick. Of course.
5. Pina coladas are fucking gross. Why do people like them? They taste like sunblock, or as my friend Kyle would say, "island crotch wipe."
6. I love cats.
7. And my cat might actually love me, too.

Posted by Katie Qué at 11:31 AM 1 comment: 



Now that I'm about done with school, and I'm going on a cruise on Friday, and summer is around the corner, I'm working on my to-read list.

First up is Their Eyes Were Watching God, which I actually started reading for pleasure mid-semester but couldn't get through because a) I didn't have time to read for pleasure, duh, and b) call me racist, but I struggle with Ebonics.

After that, I'm going to read Tina Fey's Bossypants and Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) because they are both my idols and I hope their books will teach me how to become them. Then what? You tell me.

And, in case you're looking for something to read, here are my recommendations:

1. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood
How many times can I say it? This is quite possibly my favorite book of all time. I don't know that I can actually make that kind of declaration, but it really is a fantastic book. For those of you who like dystopain literature, like The Hunger Games, except actually well-written, then this is for you. Also if you're a feminist equalist.  Also if you live near Harvard Square because it's set there. Did I just ruin that for you? Whatever, just read it, ok?

2. The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingslover
For people who love Africa and the Bible. And you should love the Bible, by the way. Not because of like, Christianity or whatever, but because it is so sexy and magical. Which, if you know anything about me...

Don't bother with The New Testament, though -- total snooozefest.

3. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
I don't think any other story has resonated with me quite like this one. I even have an Alice-inspired tattoo. Alice 4-L. Anyway, I'm guessing most people already know the story because of the Disney movie, or Tim Burton's, which was atrocious and RUINED MY CHILDHOOD, but it's worth reading. It's not long and it's written for kids, so you have no excuse. [Editor's note: If anyone dares to leave a comment about drugs or pedophilia, know that I will absolutely send you a howler. You've been warned.]

4. The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant
This is about women getting their periods and having babies - FUCKING NASTY. But for some reason, I actually loved it.

5. Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, by Jeannette Winterson
I read this novella about a month ago and loved it. It's a coming-of-age tale (which I obviously love, probably because I'm 26 and still don't feel "of-age"). It's also a bit feminist, and a bit biblical. See a theme here?

And for something different:

6. The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, by MT Anderson
I'm including this on the list since young adult fiction is SO HOT RIGHT NOW (except that this was written in 2006). This is for people who like history, or Boston, or "freedom," or Africa again. And, if you're interested, I have a lesson plan to go along with the book, which I created that one time I thought I was going to be an English teacher.

7. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, by David Sedaris
This will make you laugh out loud, as in LOL. It's my favorite of all his books, though I haven't yet read his latest, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls. It's on my list, however.

My final recommendation is to not waste your time reading The Great Gatsby AGAIN so that you can see the movie. You've already read it. Read something else. You'll still be able to understand the movie, I promise. Hint: But if you haven't already read it, then you totally should. You should also make sure your high school diploma is actually valid.

Posted by Katie Qué at 2:59 PM 3 comments: 

Things I learned this weekend: Volume 4

1. Daenerys is like a smaller, cuter Abraham Lincoln. With dragons.
2. I am totally [platonically] in love with Lady Lamb and the Beekeeper:

3. I actually really suck at Big Buck Hunter. This is a very sad realization because I was once a HUNTER HERO.
4. If you see The Great Gatsby on opening night, you'll be surrounded by people who think they are literary geniuses for having read the book in 9th grade and so they are entitled to talk, clap, and laugh throughout the entire movie. You people are the only thing I didn't like about my major. 5. Don't ever forget to close your tab, especially if you live on the other side of the city and don't have a car.
6. Probably don't ever open a tab again, ok?
7. 20-25% of women in college are sexually assaulted before graduation.
8. They are often blamed by their peers.
9. We can change that:

10. And that sums up my final paper, which concludes my academic career*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*until further notice

Posted by Katie Qué at 11:23 AM 3 comments: 


How to Be Happy as a Single Lady Step 1: Put on Beyonce.

Step 2: Buy a cat.

Step 5: Whiskey.

Step 8: This. (NSFW)

Step 11: "Find yourself."

Step 12: And last, but certainly not least:

Posted by Katie Qué at 8:53 PM 7 comments: 

Things I learned this weekend: Volume 3

I think this will now be a weekly post, since I have nothing else to write about these days.

1. Ygritte (thank you, Kim) is a stage 5 clinger.
2. If you were ever in a sorority, and/or live with someone who was in a sorority, you will have accessories on hand should you decide to go to an impromptu Gatsby social.

3. Silver Linings Playbook is about how one person's ridiculous sports superstitions can affect everyone around them. So, I'm sorry about that.
4. Not going out on a Friday means that you will wake up refreshed, go to the gym, do laundry, write an entire paper, and feel human on a Saturday. Who knew?
5. Put the peanut butter inside the Oreo, not on top. DUH.

6. Ordering 12 plates of Chinese food the week before will teach you a valuable lesson that can be applied to any and all ethnic food. For instance, although you may feel like you need 4 orders of naan, you do not, so don't order them.
7. Note: this rule does not apply to margaritas Mexican food, which I don't think can even be considered ethnic anymore anyway.
8. Speaking of ethnic, you're never too old to celebrate your quinceanera.

9. My life very obviously revolves around food, specifically peanut butter and Oreos.

and most importantly:

10. BOO IS FAMOUS: click.

Posted by Katie Qué at 12:45 PM 2 comments: Labels: Things I learned this weekend