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Its my 99th post...

I'm almost to 100 posts. That seems unreal. Alas, I have nothing to have a contest with, as seems to be the tradition when you get to milestone posts. Perhaps the next milestone post I'll be able to do something. Post 100 will hopefully be my first finished sweater...

For, now life is crazy. I leave town on May 13th. I'll spend a week on the outskirts of Chicago... and by outskirts, I really mean in the middle of a corn field, an hour from O'Hare. They do choose the most random places for warehouses, don't they? At least there is a bar in the parking lot of the hotel we stay in. I then fly back to NYC for what could be the extent of 36 hours, before I fly to Bend, OR. From google maps, it seems that that would be the middle of Oregon. The best Joke so far about that location, which I'm sure the people of Bend have heard on occasion after occasion is "Oh, Bend over, OR?" I'm looking forward to being on tour again. And I'm sure that will offer all sorts of interesting stories for you all. Stagehands are an interesting breed... and do offer much entertainment for life.

The bad side of this tour is that I have to miss the weddings of several good friends, which makes me sad. I had even bought new dresses and shoes for these celebrations (ok, just an excuse to buy new shoes and dresses, but whatever.). One is a person who has been in my life for years now, who I have gone through ups and downs with, lost touch with for long periods of time, yet no matter, he still remains close to me in so many ways. The other is the first real friend I made here in NYC, and although we haven't known each other for even a year yet, my life here in NYC wouldn't be the same without her. Nor would I have found as much of my knitting groove or other friends who knit and blog and have wild sides too. 
I actually have a stash I actually have a pile of yarn waiting to be knitted up. I'm excited to start new project. The brownish yarn is for a felted bag for my mother. She was jealous of the one I had made for myself, and immediately started looking for yarn so she could have one of her own. I finally found the matching colorway for the Noro that I had been gifted this weekend. Which was so exciting. I bought four more balls of it... and I'm going to make a clapotis. I know I said I didn't think I ever would, but the Noro is perfect for it, and the color I was gifted my favorite shades. The purple lace yarn is going to be turned into a shawl of some sort for summer. I've yet to choose a pattern, but I want something open and lacy and fun for summer nights. And I've yet to decide what to do with the silky cashmere.

I'm off to look at some apartments in a bit. I have until May 10th to find a place. That is my moving date. As I want to go to Miami to visit a friend the following weekend.

And how is it when you have your life planned out, something springs up and changes everything. I just got a job offer to spend a month of the summer on tour. Which is great and I'm excited. But, now all my plans for the next three weeks are all jumbled up in my head and I'm wondering do I find a place? do I go to Miami for the first part of the week? are they going to want to keep me in the temp job or not? Someone send answers!
Posted by Sarah ::5 comments 

I started my day with chocolate chip pancakes. Its a great excuse to work chocolate into breakfast I think. But the chocolate in the breakfast food, then you can not feel guilty about eating it so early in the day. And oddly enough, chocolate and maple syrup blend quite well.

I've been making great progress on my sweater. I had a bit of a mix up yesterday and had to pull out a few rows... knitting and the subway don't always mix for me. For some reason I drop stitches when I try to get something accomplished while riding to my next destination. But I continue to try to make it work for me. I'm just about done with the front of the sweater. Then comes the daunting task of picking up the 40 stitches for the back. I do so hate picking up stitches. It attempts to teach me patience that I just don't seem to have. I really love the way the yarn is knitting up. It has such a smooth finish, and I feel like a really accomplished knitter right now. (and my waist is tiny... but not that small... I promise. It stretches a lot!)

I'm still waiting for details on my temp job. I'm planning on enjoying these last few days before I start working again. Hopefully the weather will hold out for the weekend for me. I'm heading over to the farmers market today. Maybe something will inspire me for dinner. I should do some more resume sending, as the ones I sent on Wednesday went unanswered. (seems to be the way with my emails, as the cute match.com boy who did reply, and even shared his personal email, has now stopped replying... Is it sad that my ex is the only cute boy showing up in the first 30 guys in my search???)

But its spring and the flowers and blooming... I guess I just have to enjoy that fact.
Posted by Sarah ::2 comments 
A new temp job..

I start a new temp placement in a week. Its at a life insurance company. So, not the perfect industry for me, but it is an income. And will hopefully allow me to get into an apartment of my own so I don't have to worry about the time running out on this one.

And I've sent about 15 resumes out this morning. So, hopefully the odds are with me, and someone calls me back.

Now to start the apartment searching in earnest. 1 bedroom, hopefully in Manhattan, for about $1000... less would be great, a little bit more might be doable. Just under 4 weeks to find the location. Wish me luck, send me leads!

I just wish I could afford the course work I want to take to work towards my goal of cooking. I made a dinner for my friends on Saturday night and they were all rendered speechless when they took the first bites. I loved the feeling. And when people went back for second servings of the cake I had made... that made my night. Someday I will make my money from this talent I have. 

... where I wish I could hop on a plane and fly somewhere else and just hide. On a beach in the Caribbean, in a museum in Europe, a temple in Asia, somewhere, anywhere, where I don't have to think about that I don't have a job, and most of the ones out there aren't ones I want. That I don't have to think about the fact that I have four weeks til I lose this roof over my head and will either have to return to MA and living with my parents or find a way to get into my own apartment. And with no job right now, and no money, I don't see much chance of that happening.

I really want to have the confidence that Upstaging will call me and have a tour or some corporate work for me. But I'm scared that who I was last summer will prevent that from happening. The more time that goes by with hearing nothing, the more scared I am that it isn't going to work out. I have to email my contact and see what, if anything, is going on.

Great progress is being made on my sweater. I've got about 2 inches remaining on the front, and then I get to switch to the back. I should be done in a day or two. I'm excited about the prospect or having it completed. I'm searching for a lacy shawl pattern to turn some lace weight alpaca into. Something fun for summer nights.

It also seems like the rest of my life is full of drama too. I never had many female friends for a reason, and its showing itself these days. There is someone that touches the edge of my life who just can't seem to accept that I don't like her, and will avoid her if we end up in the same place. She feels the need to confront me at inopportune moments - like in the middle of a club - about why I don't like her. She has a bad energy about her, and I just can't take it. And yes, that does make me a bit of a bitch to her. Mainly because she always seems to be forcing herself on me. Accept it as an adult, and move along. Don't try to make small talk with me. I just don't have the energy to deal with such petty drama.

Where is my beach and tropical drink?
Posted by Sarah ::0 comments 
Strange Side Effects, and a countdown begins

So, apparently the fun side effect of my antibiotics that I get to deal with is that things taste funny. My water tastes oddly sweet. And I feel like I've been sucking on sugar cubes all day. Its messing with me. I need to get some juice or something bitter maybe.

And my countdown has begun again. I just realized tonight that I have four weeks until my sublet runs out. D comes home from his tour, and doesn't have anything else lined up. Which means, no more NYC housing for me. Which really sucks, as I have no job, and no money, an no way to get into my own place. ARGH. That thought is so depressing. I didn't think this would happen this time around. I was supposed to be in NYC for good with this attempt. Not wondering what was going to happen in a few short weeks, as time runs out again.

But now I'm going to go to Brooklyn and have a few drinks and forget that fact. And help my friend celebrate her birthday. 
I Heart Antibiotics

I think I am FINALLY on the mend. Seven days after I first fell ill. And a nice prescription of amoxicillin later. I started taking the pills this morning, and spent most of the day curled up on my couch, and now and starting to feel better. I still have a way to go, but I think I am on the mend.

I had so much planned for today. I wanted to bake cake, and plan a bunch of appetizers for the girls for while we get ready tomorrow. But I just couldn't move. I'm hoping tomorrow morning I wake up feeling like myself and am able to head out early to get the ingredients I need to make at least the cake portion. I can hit the store for the decoration components I need on the way to the party, and then decorate once I get there. We'll see. I hope it works out.

We are supposed to be going to a club tomorrow night. But I doubt I'm going to be able to go. Which sucks, as its the birthday of two of my closets friends here. I hate to miss out on their party. But I can't talk, and I know I still need my rest. I made a comment about being unsure about able to drink on the antibiotics to my mother earlier today, and she actually encouraged me to drink. She warned me that my birth control wouldn't be working, but thought it would be just fine for me to enjoy a few cocktails. Mothers are odd creatures sometimes, aren't they?

I've moved onto the next steps in my sweater. I added in 48 stitches last night, and now get to just knit. No more purling for a bit. So it should move along quickly. Its exciting. But I missed the delivery of my yarn today. The mailman came super early and stopped by when I was out getting my drugs. Sad. I was so looking forward to seeing my new yarn. :-/ 
Hack Hack, Cough Cough

My body is in complete rebellion this days. I hurt from the vibrations of coughing. I feel drained just from doing my laundry earlier. I sound like a croaky frog when I try to speak.

I am supposed to have an interview tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to see how my voice sounds in the morning before I make a call on whether or not I'm going to go. Its at a financial regulatory company, and not quite what I am looking to do. I think I'd really like to get back out on the road. I am such a different person now than I was a year ago. I am happy with who I am, and where I am. And I'd like to see if this summer was me hating where I was or what I was doing. I'm hoping that the friends in town for shows might have some ability to pull a string or two and offer some help.

But for now, I'm going back to curling up on the couch and hoping to not hurt myself too much with my violent coughing spells. 
Knitters gone wild, and other weekend adventures

It has been a crazy few days in my world. After losing the job on Tuesday night, I've spent the rest of the week running around like crazy. Oddly enough, I am really happy that I lost that job. I knew it wasn't the right job for me, but I need the paycheck so desperately, I was willing to be unhappy to just have a job.

I decided to throw a surprise bachelorette party for the leader of our knitting group on Friday night. I told her I wanted to take her for dinner to celebrate her birthday, and arranged to have some of our other friends waiting at the restaurant for us. She had no clue... and even after we plopped the veil I had made on her head was like, wait, is this for my birthday or for a bachelorette party? I love throwing a good surprise! We had a fabulous dinner, full of laughs and penis jokes (when you give girls swizzle sticks shaped like peni (which I've decided is the official plural of penis) the elementary school jokes fly). I had spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday frantically knitting a thong - if you throw a party for a knitter, there has to be something knit involved. It was quite the process - my first project on size 2 needles (before this I had only used something as small as a 6), and it was a lacy pattern, which I learned does not mix with riding the subway. I frogged the front panel about 4 times. But in the end, got it done just in time. After the fun of dinner, we headed over to Hogs and Heifers, which is a bar comparable to Coyote Ugly. There was dancing on the bar, oh yes, I danced on the bar, and shots and just general good times and merriment. Until I decided to jump on the bar for a second spin. And the bartender called me over. And was like I'm taking your bra. Ummm... ok, I'm drunk, I'm on a bar with everyone staring at me, I can't really argue. But this is a great bra. And they don't even make my size any more. Ah well. The exhibitionist side of me loved every moment of it.

But the week caught up with me yesterday and I didn't move from the couch. I had a touch of something or other, a sore throat, exhausted, etc. I slept for like 13 hours last night. I feel a bit better today, but still not back to 100%. I'm hoping heading out to get some fresh air and do the couple of errands I have will make a difference though. 
Foreseeing the future?

So, yesterday I wrote about how I was unsure about my job and whether or not it was right. I was feeling something. It wasn't right. Well, as of 5:50 pm this evening, I no longer have a job. They felt I didn't fit right. I was onto something with how I felt.

I was told that they didn't think I wanted their direction - well, I don't need someone to explain to me every step of how to print a document. I've done most of these tasks before - maybe with different programs - but I don't want to have my hand held all the time. Which seems to be a constant thing with this company. Like calling to see which mint flavor should be bought for the front desk candy bowl. And they also said I didn't take full ownership of the position. Well, its kind of hard when you exclude me from things, and assign tasks to the other assistant. I felt like the odd person out from day one. I felt that any time I voiced an opinion I was shot down. I was once even told I better check myself before I spoke. Well, in the situation, I was right - calling an medical insurance agency for your boss, and saying its you, you won't get any information. Its against the law. Now, if you lie to the operator and pretend to be the wife who is also on the plan, well, that will get you somewhere. My statement of well, they aren't allowed to tell you anything got met with an admonishment to check my facts. Not realizing that she had gotten info out of the person who answered the phone by a lie and impersonating someone else. So, yes, it was a bad fit, I wasn't happy, but now, I'm unemployed again. Good but bad.

I sent an email to Upstaging as soon as I got home. Maybe there will be a tour for me. I've been double thinking on that for the last few weeks. And I'm calling in favors... passing out resumes... offering my services. I'll come cook you dinner. I'll bake you a cake or pastry or cookies or chocolates. Anything for money these days. Anyone have any leads? 
Wine, conversation and french fries

I was taken out for a great dinner last night. A friend who is in Brooklyn for work was wandering the city, and took me to Quality Meats. And they definitely live up to their name. And the meal finished with the remaining wine, french fries and entertaining conversation. I should have skipped the espresso martini though - the dreams I had last night were ridiculous. But I learned I dream in color, as there was a speeding bright red car. Among other bizarre things.

It was a crazy weekend, with parties and clubs and out of town friends. And pretty spring flowers. Lots of good drinks, and good food, and Magnolia Bakery cupcakes - people stand in line for these things. They were very good, and do deserve the fame, but I don't think I'd stand in line again for one. I also have to remember that when I'm already tired, I can't be swayed to go out with the girls. Its a bad scene for me to be tired and out at a noisy club.

The job isn't living up to what I wanted it to be. I'm constantly confused as to whether I made the right choices. My paychecks make me sad, the lack of constant work makes me question whether this i the right job for me. I love this city. I love the energy, I love the friends I've made, and I can't imagine being anywhere else other than here. But, I'm bored. I feel guilty about it because I got what I wanted, a job in NYC. But, was it the right job? And what do I do now? I'm going to give this job a bit more time - well, I suppose that is contingent on them making the offer to go permanent, but I can't imagine them not. But I'm thinking in a short amount of time I'll be starting to search again - not the best way to go, but I hate being bored and not being challenged. And this is both of those right now. I didn't sign on to be a data entry person. I signed on to be an assistant. But the CEO just doesn't need all that much assisting.

And now I think I'll see if there is something sweet to eat around here and then curl up in bed. I'm hoping for no crazy dreams and a full night of sleep. 
One skein down

I've got one skein of yarn knitted into the sweater. And I still have my ribbed pattern going right. Ok, say a little prayer I didn't just jinx myself there.

I went to see the Knitting Harlot speak this evening. (there is a picture to insert here, but I'm too lazy to find the cable right now) It was ridiculously crowded, and we had to sit on the floor at Borders, cause there were no seats left in the place. But she was very funny, and had such insightful views on how knitters relate to the world and how the world relates to knitters. And I got more of my sweater done, had a good time with a friend, and have a few more books to add to my wish list.

I've been thinking a lot about second jobs lately. As I added up my credit card bills and almost fainted. Definitely choked. I want to find something that still allows me to have my social life. I want to find a place to live first though, so I can figure out commuting time and determine a radius to take on a waitressing or retail job - if that is the way to go. I'd love to find something that I could do from home at the end of the night so I can schedule it around my life, not schedule my life around it. Especially now that I have a social life again.

Now for the final bits of Top Chef and sleep. I was out way too late last night - even got stuck on the train while the police boarded cars to clear up some sort of altercation. It was a fun night of wine and bonding - very low key, and relaxing - but I need to catch up on some sleep.