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Banana Republic Britian When governments are going under and desperately trying to cling to power, they invariably become more authoritarian in their efforts to stay in power. It's just the way it is, always has been and always will be. It's a truism.
Think of every banana republic despotic regime just before they fall apart: free media is curtailed to prevent criticism, the rich's assets are seized to keep the regime funded, known opponents are all arrested to take the leadership of any uprising out of circulation, curfews are imposed to prevent civil disorder and facilitate state control etc. Familiar concepts, but never in Britain, right?
Well, in a first world, advanced liberal democratic way, we are seeing just this in NuLab Britain.
For the usual banana republic distraction techniques to stop the people from focusing on how incompetent the government really is, read the endless 'initiativitis' so beloved of NuLab, previous commitments reheated for today's press deadlines.
For the usual tough posturing showing how in control the dictatorship is, read the relentless diet of illiberal legislation to target those NuLab don't like.
Instead of capturing the radio/TV station every banana republic seems to have, we see NuLab spin doctors constantly bullying journalists to try to control the media agenda.
Instead of appointing loyal supporters to control key organisations NuLab has politicised the civil service.
Instead of spreading lies about their opposition, NuLab has......oh hold on, they got caught before they could do that.
The normal rounding up of political opponents on trumped up charges has morphed into pushing the police to arrest whistle blowers and their opposition accomplices.
Banana republic brazen lies about 'how brilliantly El Presidente is leading us in these difficult times' - remember Comical Ali - have been replaced by Gordy's outrageous spin informing us how brilliantly we are prepared for economic recession (not according to the IMF or OECD which say in fact we are the most vulnerable).
We are living in a NuLab banana republic. Thank God it's almost run out of time.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 9:03 pm 0 comments Been offline for two days. Broken laptop. Apols. Now back.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 9:02 pm 0 comments Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Words of the Day

Dominic Lawson, The Independent
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 2:01 pm 0 comments 
Selected Reagan Quotes Labels: Humour

Goody Goody You will recall my views on Jade Goody and Jack Tweed (here).

Jack Tweed has been jailed for 12 weeks for assaulting a taxi driver today. My case proven, methinks.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 1:24 pm 0 comments Labels: Jade

Mad Teachers So. Let me get this right.

1. The country is in the depth of an historic recession

2. Unemployment has passed the 2 million mark 
Updated MP Watch 

MPs Unfit to Hold Office (by their own actions)


Ed Balls - Fiddling his expenses

Margaret Beckitt - Three homes on the taxpayer

David Borrow - Misusing Parliamentary allowances for blatant electioneering

Kevin Brennan - Making taxpayers pay his stamp duty

Gordon Brown - Utter incompetence and making the UK bankrupt

Yvette Cooper - Fiddling her expenses

Ann Keen - Claiming double rations of expenses with her husband

Alan Keen - Claiming double rations of expenses with his wife

Ruth Kelly - Utter incompetence when a minister

David Lammy - Utterly incompetent and completely out of his depth

Rudy Vis - Using allowances to buy retirement home

James Clappison – Using his allowances to part fund his property portfolio

Caroline Spelman - Stealing from the taxpayer to pay for her nanny

Theresa Villiers - Making taxpayers pay her stamp duty

Lib Dems

Charles Kennedy - Drunkenness whilst trying to be elected as Prime Minister

Mark Oaten - Bi-sexual adultery

Lembit Opik - Just for being an attention seeking prat

Sinn Fein Labels: MP Watch, Politicians


Recess Monkey - Out of Touch? Loving this. First line currently on Recess Monkey: Labour Blog Watch - as at 0830 hrs

Those who have faced the truth:

Those who are non-committal:

Hopi Sen - counter attack on Guido

Those imitating an ostrich: 
Drapergate 2 or McBridegate 1? 

Friday, 10 April 2009

How To...Be A Successful Politician

Do you remember Client 9? He was the high flying New York Governor, Eliot Spitzer, who campaigned against prostitution and then...was actually found to be one of the best customers of one of most infamous escort services in NY. Well he appears to be the latest exponent of the art of managing a successful political comeback. See him here earlier this week on MSNBC:

Unbelievable. The neck on this bastard. Having been proven to be a serial liar and total fucking hypocrite, he thinks he can worm his way back into mainstream politics.

This got me to thinking: what is the basic skillset you actually need as a modern day politician to be able to withstand the 24/7 media and blogosphere onslaught. Answer: supreme arrogance coupled with no shame.

In yesteryear, John Profumo and the like crawled off the stage and devoted the rest of their life to good charitable deeds in order to rehabilitate themselves quietly in the shadows of society.

Nowadays, in our me, me, me, I deserve everything, celeb obsessed society, there is no slinking off, no days in the wilderness, the bastards just brazen it out using the following steps:

1. Deny (see if you can get away with it)
2. Admit (with exclusive media interview)
3. Apologise (remembering to not write 'sorry' on your hand)
4. Photo op with partner (if relevant)
5. Keep going as you are (and get the next expenses claim in)

Think it through: Mark Oaten, Andrew Pelling, David Blunket, Lord Manbypanby, Jacqui Smith, Eric Pickles et al.

How awful is this world. Off to kill myself.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 3:32 pm 0 comments Labels: Politicians


Bogus Research I have for some time admired The Devil's fakecharities.org campaign. (Just wish he'd get a logo so I can put it on my blog!)

But this week, I have been enraged by some astounding bogus research by so-called charities.

First, child poverty. According to Dr Banardos yesterday, "there are currently 3.9 million children living in poverty in the UK, and that's almost a third of all children". WTF? Now I know I drive fast, but as I have flashed through 'sarf' London avoiding the poor people, I have not noticed hordes of pot bellied children covered in flies on every street corner.

No, Dr B's are using NuLab maths, as approved by our triple counting wanker of a PM. If you bother to hit Dr B's website there is a page entitled 'What is Poverty'. In short, this is a page of spin subverting mathematics so they can get to a truly shockingly large number. (I have written previously about how to run a fake campaign and use fake maths, here).

There are not 3 million children in poverty in the UK. These do-gooding fuckwits need to get out more. Suggestion: try visiting Africa, Asia and South America. Those are the odd shaped bits on the map past Islington and further on south of Tuscany.

Second, glass ceilings. The Equality and Human Rights Commission (aka the taxpayer funded evil empire of Trevor Phillips) has today pumped out this, which tells us that:

a. Women earn up to 60% less than men in the finance sector
b. 28% of those working in professional occupations in the sector are women, compared with 42% in the economy as a whole
c. 11% of senior managers are women, compared to 28% in the economy as a whole

OMG, how I am bored with this PC bleating about the glass ceiling. Time for some reality:

Obvious Point 1 - The average age of a director of a City business is around the 50-60 yrs mark, meaning that they would have been entering the City market roughly in 1969-79.

Obvious Point 2 - There were many fewer women entering this market in those days. Things have now changed, but then, much much fewer. (Let's be bold. 30% of the total?)

Obvious Point 3 - It is safe to say that the overwhelming majority of this already comparatively small female cohort went off and had babies. (OK so now let's be conservative. 75% of that original 30%?)

Obvious Point 4 - The majority of this now dwindling number will never have returned to the workplace. (What do you think? 90% non-returns?)

Obvious Point 5 - A small percentage of this now severely reduced number will have rejoined but, after some years out of the market, will have been out of date and will therefore inevitably have suffered in their comparative promotion prospects as compared to their male counterparts.

So on these guesstimates, which I think you'd agree have been cautious, this means that in the 50-60 yrs age range, 10% of the City workforce will now be women. But only 7.5% will have had uninterrupted careers.

Now of course not everyone is good enough to be a board director, but if your talent pool is only 7.5-10% of the workforce, frankly it is amazing that we have any females at the top of any of our City businesses right now. As we go forward, then this will change, but it will be slow and always disproportionate because - and here's a really important point, Trevor - girls have babies and boys don't, you fuckwit.

But of course this obvious maths simply doesn't fit with the trendy, PC, NuLab, bleeding heart, anti-poverty, pro-wimmin dogma of the Left.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 10:16 am 1 comments Labels: political correctness, The Devil

I Love the Devil Labels: iain dale, The Devil


The Latest Lib Dem Bandwagon 

Time for some facts:



What David Howarth did not mention:

This is politicking at its worst. 
Why We’re In the Shit Daily Referendum has a devastating analysis of why we're in the shit, copied below:

No wonder. Just the mix of professional experience you need in any Cabinet to deal with a global recession.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 6:56 am 0 comments Labels: NuLab, Politicians


NuLab Chickens Beginning to Roost Two interesting articles in the FT today: here and here. Labels: economic crisis, NuLab

The Variable Value of Life 2001 - The events of 9/11 (a moment in history which even has its own name) killed just under 3000 Americans. The world stopped. Wars were waged. The aftermath will impact on global geopolitics for generations.

2009 - The Italian earthquake killed around 180 Italians. The BBC flew news teams to the earthquake site for News at 10 that night. Wall to wall media coverage will go on for some days.

2003 - An earthquake hit Bam, a city in Iran. Over 26,000 Iranians died with more than 30,000 injured. I'll say that again: over 26,000 people died with 30,000 injured. Minor mention on the news for a couple of days. The world didn't stop. No wall to wall media coverage.

It would appear society, governments and the media ascribe a higher value and newsworthiness to the lives of different nationalities.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 10:13 am 0 comments 
Chip and Pinning Your ID Away 

Mission Creep

Government incompetence Labels: NuLab, surveillance


Culling Politicians With reference to my suggested changes to Parliamentary allowances (see here), we have some good news.
No, not that the cheeky bastards last week gave themselves a bigger rise than the rest of the public sector.
Nor that London MPs 'London supplement' has gone from around £3k to £7.5k.
(Just absolutely incredible that both these changes can occur amidst the current public outrage over MPs pay and allowances).
No, the good news is that we have 1312 less politicians in this country. Wahooo! Well, it's a start isn't it.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 9:28 am 0 comments Labels: Politicians, taxpayers' cash Labels: media, YouCare.com


Our Balanced Media Sunday Times - MPs claim stamp duty on expenses

News of the World - Peter Robinson sucks the taxpayer dry

Sunday Express - Hoon on the fiddle

Observer - Nothing

Sunday Mirror- Nothing

Even the Independent covers the Hoon story Labels: media, Politicians

NuLab Spin Watch 


Taxpayer Madness Labels: political correctness, taxpayers' cash

Jade Reality Check I wrote this about the death of David Cameron's son. It just as well applies to Jade Goody.

Today will be nauseating. First, the people who made Goody - the tabloid, red top media and the lower end of the TV spectrum - will gush with faux tears about her demise. We will breathlessly follow the funeral all day. Again, the media making money out of an unwitting fool.

Second, celebs and politicos will all queue up to wax lyrical about "how special she was", "how wonderful she was", "what a brilliant ambassador she was" etc. Nauseating.

Third, the media will cry pity tears for Jack Tweedy, "how brave he's been", "how he was her rock", "how much he loved her" etc. Puke.

Perspective: as sad as any death is, particularly a young person's, this happens every day in every town all over the country. All over the world. No one cries for them.

Goody was in fact famous for being just incredibly stupid and for milking her 15 minutes of fame by doing anything, however debasing - including while blind drunk pushing a wine bottle up herself on live TV. Tweedy is a convicted felon, currently tagged, who is shortly to go to court on another charge.

These are not role models. They do not deserve adulation.

Update: Apparently it was not Goody who performed the wine bottle routine. It was another Z list called 'Kinga', whoever she was.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 8:20 am 4 comments Labels: Jade, media

The Old Disease: Scape-goat-itis I'm terribly confused about the global recession.

Our illustrious PM assured us repeatedly it was all America's fault with all that sub prime madness. Or though, he didn't seem too keen to repeat this when Nick Robinson asked him about that view in one of the many Gordo and Obamo press conferences over the last few days. Now he seems to be sucking off St Obama every other nanosecond.

OK so not America, really it was those evil bankers seeking fat cat bonuses through reckless lending. Oh and in particular that nasty Mr Fred Goodwin (boo, hiss, stone him). All out for themselves, the bastards. Seize their bonuses. Sequester their pensions. Sell their wives and children.

But now the blame caravan seems to have moved on once again. Now - and forgive me as I have missed the logic here - the G20, who are all led brilliantly by the able and wise Mr Brown, have fingered those evil, Nazi sheltering, international crime riddled tax havens. So naughty have they been in fact we're going to.....name and shame them (oooh, awful, how will they cope with the shame).

Just remind me. When exactly did tax havens create the global recession? Was I asleep or something? I'm pretty sure that if they were responsible that nice, balanced and unexcitable Robert Peston would have been whining about it every night for weeks.

No, as ever, the politicians are (a) looking for their latest scapegoat and (b) using the cover of unrelated announcements to roll out their own political dogma.

What exactly have tax havens done? They have operated within the law to assist people pay less tax legally. So nothing wrong so far, then.

Remind me. Who sets the law within which they operate? Oh yes, it's those sanctimonious wankers who want to blame them and curtail their totally legal activities. Let's just recap. The recession was caused by:

1. Too lax a system of government regulation within which banks operated.

2. This allowed them to lend too easily, thus stoking up markets, and the residential market in particular, to crazy, totally unsustainable levels of growth.

3. They also lent too easily to people who could not afford the loans.

4. In fact, governments pushed banks to lend to poorer people so they could boast that they were "attacking social injustice" and "creating social mobility".

5. And just to add incompetence on top of imprudence, governments - ours in particular - built up their own unaffordable debt burden to carry out all their social engineering policies. The regulators had gone native.

6. When the cycle changed, as it always does, there were too many debts, not enough cash and hence recession.

7. Despite Gordy's ridiculously hollow boasts, we are worse off than most and well into IMF territory - according to the IMF - because during the good years NuLab spent more than it earned. Put simply, we were already up to our national overdraft when our tax income began to collapse.

So not America, then. Not actually bankers, who all operated within the laws set by governments. And not really tax havens, who frankly played no actual role in the debacle at all.

In fact, it was shoddy government regulation.

Huh. Haven't heard the brilliant Mr Brown opine much about that, have we?

Wonder who the next scapegoat will be?
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 8:15 am 0 comments Labels: economic crisis, Gordon Brown, summits

Friday, 3 April 2009

Trust and Privacy; Lost Forever Labels: Politicians, privacy

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Final Word on MPs' Pay and Rations Even I am now almost bored of the debate surrounding the thieving by MPs of taxpayers' cash. I think this will be my last post on this for a while, unless some new exposé stings me into action. I have read two interesting blog posts by others on the subject:

British Dude has an interesting article by JackArt. He makes some very good points, for example:

"The (current) rules achieve two ends... first they create a culture of entitlement amongst MPs, which is corrupting; and they poison the wellspring of debate, and they seriously reduce confidence in the political process."

He goes on:

"Unfortunately MPs have been allowed to appear to profit from a badly designed system. This is the New Labour way - design something in haste in response to the Baying mob, and then leave it half done."


"This is wasting time, energy and bile on a few quid for some porn, when it should be focusing on the real crime committed by MPs: failure to hold the executive to account over the savage assault on our civil liberties and the profligate waste of taxpayers' money on spurious "stimulus" packages by a government who is more interested in scorching the earth ahead of a Tory victory than actually "saving" the economy."

Where I differ with him is here:

"I am not interested in MPs expenses. I couldn't care less if an MP was enriching himself at our expense. Trying to stop money flowing to power is futile and pointless, and one shouldn't even try."

There is an important issue of principle here. Leaders must have integrity to be respected. We elect these guys to lead our Government, to lead our country to represent us at an international level. If they lose our respect because of their actions, either by doing stupid stuff or filling their pockets with our cash, then we should call that to account.

Nor do I agree with this:

"The idea that they only work when in Westminster is just laughable, and demonstrates profound, and frankly willfully chippy ignorance."

Some work hard. Some work less hard. And some are just fucking lazy, whether that is in Westminster or their constituency. I have seen this from the inside in a previous life. With virtually no scrutiny, there is a considerable cohort who do the absolute minimum and milk their over-generous allowances.

I also disagree with this:

"...if they are not paid appropriately, genuine corruption (altering the governance of the land in return for money) becomes more common. Like it or not, the kind of corruption common at the top of, say, the Italian system is rare here. £60-odd grand a year is not big money for a legislature..."

JackArt is right that in that UK political corruption almost does not exist. It's in the 0.00% range, unlike many of our European cousins who are all up to it. (Little aside - when working within the European Parliament many years ago, a few office doors down from me, there was a Greek MEP who never turned up ever and in fact rented his own European Parliament Brussels office - with all its facilities, free phone, free fax, free meeting space etc - to a Greek lobbying company! Un-fucking-believable.)

But here's the point: £65k in UK employment terms is a lot of money. It may seem like small beer for some of us who are doing well, but it's 2.5 times the national average wage. On just salary alone, MPs cost the taxpayer £42 million pa. Add to that MPs' expenses of another £93 million pa, and then pensions and so on and MPs direct costs add up to the thick end of £200 million. That is a number that needs public scrutiny and control. What other group of civil servants votes itself £200 million pa of taxpayers' cash to spend on themselves as they see fit?

And I have a problem with this:

"Removing "office" costs from MPs individual expenses will cost vastly more as any incentive to keep this down (the embarrassment of declaring it personally) will be removed."

I agree but this is not the best solution. Better to give them an allowance (I have previously suggested £75k rather than the overgenerous £100k as now) and let them spend it all if they want. The point is that it should be paid direct from Parliament to the named support staff, rather than go via MPs' pockets for them to fiddle.

Another problem is this:

"Removing any second homes allowance will necessitate a higher salary to enable the supporting of two homes."

Absolute rot. Give them a per diem or overnight allowance. They can do what they want with it: buy a flat, rent a flat, use hotels. That's up to them. But only pay them for the nights they actually spend in London on Parliamentary business. Viz salaries, see my comment above. Too many commentators are suggesting - egged on by MPs staring down the barrels of losing their fat 2nd home allowance - that MPs will need a pay rise. No other fucker in the UK is getting a pay rise right now. Quite the opposite. We're all down-sizing, many into having no job at all! Time for MPs to down-size too, and if that means getting rid of that nice 2nd home, paid for by the taxpayer, so be it.

And this point needs some comment:

"Any centrally owned flats for MPs will be more expensive than simply allowing a bit of mortgage interest."

This suggestion has been circulating in the media and on blogs for a few days. It is mad! Barking mad. What better way to waste more taxpayers' money than to fund a special hotel for MPs! Can you imagine how this budget would spiral out of control. Remember Portcullis House? The Scottish Parliament? The Welsh Assembly building? Incredible that anyone would suggest such a stupid thing when all they need is to join the real world and have a per diem or overnight allowance.

I find Luke Akehurst's view on almost anything very annoying, in the 'it's so irritating when those whose views you dislike often say something interesting and sensible' vein. His post on MPs' pay and allowances is part good and part bad:


"The basic salary MPs get is a good one compared to the vast majority of the population but derisory -even taking into account discounting it for an aspect of voluntarism/public service - compared to jobs of equivalent seniority (and in the case of Ministers scary levels of responsibility) - including the salaries of the newspaper editors getting sniffy about them."


But Luke goes off message badly:

"The vast bulk of the headline "expenses" figures quoted in the press are not expenses at all - they are staff pay. When non-MPs fill in expenses claims at work we don't add a section for the pay of the staff that work for us....Most of the rest is legitimate - is anyone seriously saying MPs should pay for travel on parliamentary business, their office IT equipment or postage costs for casework letters out of their personal salaries?"

Luke, my dear Lefty, you miss the point: first, their allowances are overly-generous and second, they fiddle the fuckers and keep the cash for themselves - aka theft in every other walk of life.

This too is just wrong:

"MPs need a second home because we expect them to live half the week in their constituency and half in London. If a non-MP had an employer who expected us to live away from home half the week we'd expect to be able to claim the accommodation and subsistence on expenses."

No, Luke. For possibly 183 days this year, they need an allowance for staying in central London, not for the taxpayer to help them start a property portfolio.

Luke's conclusion badly misses the point:

The solution is to take control of the setting, administration and policing of their pay and allowances away from them. Poachers don't make good gamekeepers.

But I guess we all know what's going to happen. My prediction:

ACA goes. Overnight allowance comes in. MPs get pay rise.
Posted by Melvin Cragsbury (a pseudonym) at 8:51 am 0 comments 

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