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cna said...

No one is talking about this.
 Mathis said...

You're right, they aren't, nor should they. See "Ska Music" from above.

Get your head out of your ass.

These are things that people should be talking about, but aren't.
 
I believe that was actually Natasha McSuch-and-Such who was shot at Target (imagine me saying Tar-zhay like the "mock"-effete people my parents hung out with when I was a kid).

Also, at first glance, that movie poster looks like it says "Ben STILLER is BLACK!" which is a pretty good idea for a movie, I think. People would definitely talk about that one. Son of Soul Man! Let's make this happen!
 Trevor Jackson said...

Hear, hear, on Ms. McElhone, whose charms I've been dazzled by since the otherwise forgettable Devil's Own. But people were more likely to think of her in 2002 when she was in 5 movies. So maybe she doesn't want us thinking about her this year? Can't we respect her wishes?

Can I nominate omelettes? I think people take the omelette for granted. And its close cousin, the fritatta.
 
I see your omelette, Trevor, and raise you a waffle. No, no. Make that, "Belgian Waffles".

Hell yeah, I did.
 
A lot of people think dolphins are aliens, or angels, or something, because they are so smart. But it's not dolphins that are aliens, it's sharks!

Sharks came down to Earth a loooooong time ago, like 300 million years. We know this because there are places, like in Montana, where a huge strangely-shaped landing party was buried and preserved so we would know the truth. Sharks don't make good fossils because their skeletons are made of cartilage, which is deliberate so that we can't trace their movements over the planet's history! Anyway, when they came there were all sorts of them, but soon they settled down to ruling our oceans (because oceans are like three quarters of the planet) and chose the shapes they needed. There are Great Whites, which are the bosses, because in evil societies like the Empire the toughest ones are the bosses. There are the mako sharks, which are the messengers because they go very fast. There's the hammerhead sharks, which are like the KGB, but for sharks. And whale sharks... I'm not sure, but I think if you're bad the great whites suck out your brain and your big teeth and make you a whale shark, which is the thing sharks are really afraid of because they like eating people.
 
I don't know where that came from, but that's some gem dandy, grade-A, top-notch Varsity material.

Well done, cna. You've redeemed yourself.
 King Koopa said...

The Bermuda Triangle.

What the hell's up with the Bermuda Triangle these days? That's a water-cooler staple that's due for a Dateline special or two, maybe even an A Current Affair half-hour special.

And, while I'm thinking about the Caribbean, whatever happened to Natalee Holloway? Did she disappear into the Triangle? Is that why nobody's talking? I want more stories about the missing cute, blond white girl.
 
Also, the Bermuda Triangle makes for some great pickup lines, like: "So, the Bermuda Triangle, what the hell, right? I mean, how come we've figured out it's a triangle, but we still can't crack the case? Shouldn't they be able to triangulate something and solve that shit?"

Also, boomerangs. Nobody talks about boomerangs. They're totally awesome. But, nobody can explain why they come back to you when you throw them. What the hell?
 
I think having Natascha McElhone and aliens on the same list is redundant. You're prettier than she is, AM, and you're exceedingly ugly.
 Jimmy Saffron said...

I think you ought to take "Envy" off this list. Now that I've seen it, I'm talking about it to anyone who will listen.
 
Bosco: Tim?
Tim Dingman: Yeah.
Bosco: You're Tim?
Tim Dingman: Yeah I'm Tim.
 
J-man says, "Come quick."
