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A Message from a Young RA Warrior Wait, hope, pray, and…
Hello, everyone. My name is Katie Beth Young and I have a few words for those with AND without a Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis.
You might have read my mom’s post called The Me Before Rheumatoid Arthritis. Next month, I’ll be 17 so I remember the stucco days. I remember the landscaping, the hundreds of perfectly frosted and decorated cookies for a baby shower, the Christmas decorations and delicacies, the spick and span house, etc. I was the little kid in the overalls in one of the pictures from that post. I know firsthand what Rheumatoid Arthritis can do to someone’s life.
My own life has changed also in so many ways. I must be strong for my mom as we wait for a cure. Even though sometimes I truly feel there’s nothing I can do, I try to find as many ways to help as possible.
Margaret Becker is my very favorite music artist. She has a song called “I Won’t Be Persuaded.” If you don’t mind, I’d like to quote the chorus: “I don’t understand where you are in all this. Still I wait and hope and pray, and I won’t be persuaded…” That’s what we do: We wait for a cure, we hope for a remission, and pray for strength.
Sometimes there’s nothing else to do. But, I think maybe in this situation there’s one more thing: Act. We can act.
Those who have Rheumatoid Arthritis need to bring awareness to the rest of the world. They are the only ones who can. They have to make the doctors listen. They need to let those who do care help them. They need to fight! I am not in the position to tell them what to do, but doesn’t it seem hard enough to have RA without all that, too?
However, I AM in the position to speak to everyone else. Action needs to be taken by those who love people with Rheumatoid Arthritis. More than one type of action. I know you didn’t ask for your loved one to become disabled and sick, but they didn’t ask to BE disabled and sick either. Here are a few examples of the things I do to try to help.
I go with my mom on her errands and especially to her doctor’s appointments. While being encouraging is important, I find comfort in actually helping physically. Whenever we are out, I offer to take my mom’s purse for her. If you have RA, you know how heavy even a lightweight purse can be to an affected shoulder, wrist, hand, etc. Some doors are so heavy that no one with Rheumatoid Arthritis would ever get in unless someone opened it for them! For goodness sakes, open the door for them.
At the grocery store, I pick up the juice bottles and cans. I let my mom point at what to get and I get some. No big deal – for me.
My sister and I help my mom make dinner every night and do it ourselves sometimes. Picking up pots and opening cans doesn’t cause us trouble. We try to keep the kitchen clean. I remember the time not too long ago when we never even washed the dishes, our mom did it all!
Just as important as the physical help is the support of a listening ear. Let your mom, dad, sister, friend tell you about the pain and fatigue. Let them be heard. They say we don’t understand, but why can’t we try? Most of their suffering is kept to themselves; after all, the pain is constant.
This is just a start to everything we can do to show the people we love that we care. No, it’s not even showing we care; it’s doing the only right thing. Think of it this way: what would you want if you were disabled, in pain, and hoping for a remission? You’d want someone to open the door, for goodness sake.
I hope I didn’t bore anyone, this being my first time and all. I suppose I’m not quite as witty as my mom! ; D Wait, Hope, Pray… and Act.
I recommend you also read The Me Before Rheumatoid Arthritis and
A Memo to Non-RAers.
Posted by Kelly Young at 6:14 PM Labels: disability, guest post, living with chronic illness, Rheumatoid Arthritis 
:D ,luv m

July 16, 2009 at 9:18 PM 
What a precious thing to do for your mom, Katie Beth! She is blessed to have a warrior like you. Thanks for sharing your heart. Oh, I have a daughter named Katie, too!

July 16, 2009 at 10:15 PM 
This is a really nice thing that your daughter did. Great job Katie Beth....it is a very difficult disease to understand, but it looks like you have some understanding for your mom on her bad days. She is glad you listen...trust me!

July 16, 2009 at 11:07 PM Courtney W said...

Oh my word! She is only 17? This was great! she voiced everything perfectly!!


July 17, 2009 at 3:29 PM 
She is almost 17...
Stay tuned for her replies, guys...

July 17, 2009 at 3:45 PM 
Katie, you are a very articulate writer. You are very wise for just 16 years old. That is so wonderful of you to be supportive of your Mom. I was just recently diagnosed, my kids are 5 years old and 4 months old, and my son (the five year old) is already making allowances for my RA (for example, he learned how to buckle his own carseat because it was so painful for me). You kids keep us going.

July 17, 2009 at 4:25 PM 
Shanna, I agree. Katie, you are an excellent writer. And, you are a most thoughtful and compassionate daughter. My children are 30 years old and 32 years old, and they have been such a support (physically and emotionally) through all of the changes I am going through. Please know that you are so appreciated!!

July 17, 2009 at 6:45 PM 

You such an incredible young woman. You have a very strong empathy and understanding for those of us that own RA. Your Mom is truly blessed to have you. You are an excellent advocate for RA families. I can only hope that my 8 year old daughter will some day see things as you do. Stay strong for you and your family. Remember to take time for you. Thank you so much for your blog and letting people with RA know that there are those that really care and do understand what we go through on a daily basis. If only the world had more like you.


July 17, 2009 at 6:46 PM Katie Beth said...

Thank you all of you for your wonderful and encouraging comments! They were so sweet. About my age, my sister told me about a 17 year old who recently became the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe by boat alone! Maybe kids are more willing to listen because they know how much you want to be well. It’s helpful to have someone understand when every day is either hard or harder. I wish you all well in the fight.
Katie Beth

July 18, 2009 at 6:03 PM 
Again I'm moved to tears. Kelly, you are truely blessed with this girl of yours! Angie

July 20, 2009 at 6:42 PM