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a rough day gives way to a good night...

I think the reward for conformity
is that everyone likes you except yourself.
- Rita Mae Brown I had a rough day at work today... so rather than complain about it
and let the crappy day invade my quiet evening -
i thought i'd do something that centers me instead.
Something that grounds me
and calms my soul
and makes me feel like the world is ok again. i had done this image a while back,
in pastel. (below) I started this journal a while ago,
to give to my son on his 18th birthday,
in a couple of weeks
and i wrote in here tonight.
I kept lots of journals in my younger days
with all the moving around we did,
with deep regret
I lost them all.
i thought it would be cool
to give my son a glimpse into his childhood
from my perspective as a mom. Had i known at the time
it would become filled with more than just writing -
i would have chosen a more appropriate journal.
I started it when he was about 4 or 5
sort of record of his days,
what he loved doing
his favorite foods,
who his friends were,
and i quickly began adding things
and adding
and adding...
like this precious illustration
from one of his friends
when they were just little boys. ...or this invitation to a birthday party... ...or this card he made for us, for Christmas... ...or this one, that my mom gave him.
A grandmother reminding her grandson
how much she loved him
and believed in him.
(sniff, sniff...) And so now,
the journal looks like this (below)
and i regret not having planned ahead.
Still, i know he's going to cherish it
because he (like me) loves writing
and keeping little bits of paper around him. how fucking cool was this little guy?
A face only a mother could love?
I think not... And then this precious writing
that i treasure more than anything...
My grandmother's writing (mom's mother).
I moved out to Western Canada when i was younger
and she often wrote me.
I kept her letters
and scanned this one line that reads:

Goodbye, from your grandmother
who will never forget you. I'll be putting a copy of this
in my son's journal as well.
He never knew his great grandmother
but he would have loved her, no doubt.
Everyone did. :-) Thanks for being here, munchkins.
love & lollipops, and a feel good song
to bring you warmth on this
freezing winter night (for us!)

Posted by pauline at 10:08 PM