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Vancouver’s summer is bidding us adieu for another year, so we’re taking advantage of the precious few nice days left to enjoy some swimming. Today we went to Trout Lake.

I was very excited when we got there, as the first thing Woo did was swim out to the Floating Log with no prompting whatsoever. “Yay!” I thought, “He remembers our last photo and training session!”

I should have been suspicious as soon as he gave me this look. Because after sniffing up and down the length of the log, he then did this: WTF? Why me? Why do *I* have the ONLY dog in the world who takes a crap on a floating log, in a lake, surrounded by grass?

Yay! I have humiliated The Food Lady! Off to find something else to do! OMG don’t make me get on this thing. I saw what Woo did! *sigh* I hate you. But I WUV you! Did you see me take a dump on that log? LOL! He’s tainted the whole lake. Yuck. I feel dirty. Piper missed The Great Log Incident of ’09 because I was holding the bag of tennis balls, and she was doing this: It’s a good day to be alive. What? What? What did Tweed just say? The lake is tainted?? Oh dude. So gross. I don’t think I should get in here … She eventually jumped in, but Log Dog was waiting for her.

(*cue JAWS theme music*) Come ‘ere Piper, I’m gonna taint you too! Gross! Get outta here Woo! You’re disgusting! (Poor Piper. Little brother suck)

I’m going to go play on the field, which Woo has not defiled. Woo is a dirty dog. In so many ways! Last week we went for a hike with the very lovely Rivet. It wasn’t raining, and most of the route is gravel paths. Nevertheless, Wootie still ended up looking like this: Who’s a disgusting, filthy, rotten little stuffed pillow of a dog? Who is it? Who?

Me! It’s me! Well it’s not me. So take your stinkin’ camera and …

TWEED! Language, mister!

Yeah, sorry. Whatever. And we know it’s not my pretty, precious little princess.

*blink, blink* I’m feeling generous toward Piper these days, can you tell? I am very proud of my little snuggle snookums. In our agility class (you know, the one lorded over by The Sadist, who btw has taken up the habit of menacing us Stupid Humans with a broom, or a spare jump pole. It’s ominous, because he’s German, so he sounds scary even when he’s happy) we have to do Very Mean Things, like run courses from the Worlds agility competitions and such. And last night in class, Piper successfully completed a challenging course, 20 obstacles without a refusal, without a bar down, without missing a contact etc. I almost threw a party for her, I was so pleased!

That’s right. I’m da bomb. You may now refer to me by my new nickname, Greased Lightning. You like her better than me now, don’t you? I may as well just end it all, right now, on these train tracks. This photo is totally not posed. I swear. Oh of course not Tweed. I love you both equally. And at least twice as much as Filthy Woo.

What? Come on, give us a kiss. Hello there. Excuse me? Can you help me find a Schnauzer blog? I think I may have taken a wrong turn somewhere…