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Amy the Mom 

Dear Mario and Annelise,

On December 17th, you officially became teenagers.  As usual, this post is tardy.  Having a birthday that falls smack dab in the middle of the holiday season virtually insures that your celebration will be either overlooked or muted.  My apologies for delivering you a full month early.  Let the record show-your original due date was in fact, January 11th-so in a sense, I'm actually right on time with this post! I'm always amazed when  a parent of several children tells me that they have a favorite child.  I can't comprehend such blatant and cruel favoritism.  I love all three of you in such different ways, how could I claim to love one of you more than the other?  Alex is my oldest, I identify with him because I am a firstborn.  He and I had two and a half years together before you twins came into our world.  Annelise, you are my only daughter, my salvation in a household of men and biologically the child I identify with the most.  Mario, you are my baby.  To be sure, only by two minutes, but you are my baby.  You and I are most alike in temperament and in our culinary tastes.  So, never fear children, I could never choose one of you to be my favorite.  I love each of you so completely and so uniquely that I could never make that choice. You started junior high this year.  I would love to report that it was a smooth transition, but we all know it's been a little rough.  Hopefully, you'll hit your stride after Christmas break and all will be well.  You both look the part of teenagers now, that's for sure.  Each of you has sprouted up several inches in the last few months.  Annelise, your body is showing girlish curves now and you've taken a greater interest in fashion and makeup.  Mario, your growth spurt resulted in a slimming effect and I'm startled whenever I look at the lean young man with peach fuzz on his face.  I don't know what happened to those two little critters who let me dress them in coordinating outfits and spoke to each other in a language foreign to everyone but each other. You know one of the things I love the most about you two?  Your fabulous sense of humor.  I love how you guys can't wait to tell me about a funny new episode of Spongebob and how you're rediscovering one of my favorite sitcoms from the 90's, Wings.  Sitting on the couch and laughing withyou guys is one of the greatest feelings in the world.   Conversely, getting the two of you to pose for a photo without mugging for the camera continues to be a challenge. In defense of my tardy post, this was the first Christmas in years where I was able to spend a lot of quality time with you guys.  The holidays fell conveniently on days that allowed me to spread out my remaining vacation time and be with you almost entirely during the season.  I loved it and it was a real benefit to recharge my mental battery.  I went back to work last week and came out swinging.

I keep waiting for the teenage years to turn ugly, or at least for you to decide that you would much rather be with your friends than your boring old mom and step-dad.  Luckily for us, that hasn't happened yet.  My fondest wish is that you will never tire of me, and will value our time together as much as I do.  You're still generous with hugs and kisses, in spite of your advancing adolescence and I'll never refuse that physical affection.

I know I'm lucky when other people remark on how well behaved you are, and how clever your sense of humor is.  We lunched with a woman from work recently, and I laughed when she volunteered to babysit for you if I ever needed the favor.  Fortunately, we're well past that stage and you've both expressed an interest in providing that service yourselves.  Perhaps you can start with the new little boy/girl twins across the street!   Always when I see our neighbors, little Alex and Sophie, I wish that I remembered much more of your infancy and toddlerhood.   This is the burden of mothers of multiples, we suffer vast memory lapses as a result of chronic sleep deprivation, constant over-stimulation and utter exhaustion.  Some moments, of course, are best forgotten though. Good times. {{{shudder}}}

But there are other days that I hold close in my heart, and when I allow myself to think past the cases of Huggies and Similac, I long for one more chance to kiss those fat little cheeks and thighs of yesteryear.  I love you, Twins. Posted at 10:22 PM in Birthday letters, Family, Kids, Twins | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)



Dear Annelise and Mario,

Twelve. In only one year I will have four teenagers in the house.  This amazes me.  I was sure the laundry would have been the death of me by this point.  Because your birthday is smack dab in the middle of the busiest time of the year, this love letter is two days late, but it's from your mama's heart, and that's what counts.  Besides, as fellow Sagittariuses, you already know how time is such a relative concept.

You've heard the story so many times before, but it bears repeating and publishing so that you can share it with generations to come.  After Alex hit two years old, and I had convinced myself that the colicky first six months of his life weren't that bad, your dad and I decided it was time to give him a little brother or sister.  Imagine our surprise when we learned we were getting both!  Hahahaha!  I had just gotten my twenty-eight year old body in tip top physical condition by taking advantage of my company's free gym membership.  I vowed that my second pregnancy wouldn't be another overeating odyssey.  No, this time I would forgo the Haagen Dazs Blond Brownies and loaded baked potatoes that I craved when I was pregnant with your brother.  I was doing so well too, but for some reason four short weeks into my pregnancy I began to show.  This caused me to scratch my head and wonder, "Could it be twins?"  There are lots of twins on my side of the family.  Soon, I began having recurring dreams that I was having twins-weird nocturnal dramas involving gardening for babies and harvesting multiples.  I shared my concerns with your dad who laughed it off.  Hahahaha.

I shared my concerns with my doctor, who also laughed it off.  Hahahaha, if we had a dollar for every mother who thought she was having twins the second pregnancy because she showed sooner, hahahaha.  I continued to balloon, but wasn't gaining too much weight.  I ran into my cousin when I was eight weeks pregnant and she asked right away if I was pregnant again.  I told her I was, but only two months along.  A twin herself, she shrieked that I must be carrying two.  This really rattled me, yet no one would order an immediate ultrasound to confirm or deny my suspicions.  Someone at work asked me what I would do if I was expecting twins and I laughed, hahahahaha, I guess we'll just declare bankruptcy, hahahaha.

Finally, at TWENTY weeks, it was time for my sonogram.  Your dad and Alex were in the room with me.  The technician placed the monitor on my already large belly and I immediately saw two circles on the screen.  I asked her, "Is that what I think it is?"  She smirked and laughed and said, "There's two in there!'  I might have peed a little, but I had a LOT of water prior to the procedure.  I looked at your dad and said "I told you it was twins!'  He looked at the screen, then back at me and said, "Jeeeeeezusssss."  We then laughed hysterically, because what else could we do?   We tried to explain to Alex that TWO babies were coming, but he was far too interested in the adventures of Thomas the Train to care about a couple of infants disrupting his life sometime in the future.

After calling all of our relatives, I laid awake the entire night.  Twins.  I prayed very hard that you wouldn't put me through the torture that your older brother had.  Granted, he was worth it, but I wasn't convinced that I could survive that times two-and with a toddler to boot.  I had just gotten a very big promotion at work, but there was no way I could afford daycare for three children.  What would happen to my job?  Sleep eluded me that night, and for a few more nights as well.

I continued with my daily schedule, but my hormones began to wreak havoc.  Often, dropping Alex off at daycare would send me-and him-on a crying jag that would last hours.  I was exhausted, even more so than I was the first pregnancy.  When I was about twenty-four weeks along, Alex and I both got the stomach flu.  Alex shook it off pretty quick, but after two days I still couldn't keep even water down.  I was getting nervous, not to mention horribly weak.  I was at home one afternoon when I began to feel very dizzy, so I called my doctor and explained the situation to him.  He ordered me to his office immediately.  I asked our next door neighbor, James, to take me.  I think I frightened him with my ghastly appearance, but he shuttled Alex and I over there.  The doctor took one look and admitted me to to the hospital. I was terrified I would lose you both.  I had lost ten pounds and was severely dehydrated.  The doctors kept me in the hospital hooked up to IV's for five days, and during that time I learned I was having a boy and a girl.  I was so happy that I'd have at least one daughter!  When the doctor came to discharge me, I asked how long before I should return to work.  Hahahahaha!  The doctor informed me that I wouldn't be going back to work until after you were born, and I would be on bed rest the remainder of my pregnancy. It was difficult not to burst into tears, both of relief and fright.  No more morning daycare drama, the decision had been made for me-but bed rest?  I had a very active two year old on my hands, what would I do with him?

Well, I'll tell you what I did.  I laid on my left side for the next four months on our living room couch, hooked up to a monitor twice a day measuring my contractions and watched a seemingly endless loop of The Lion King and every single Thomas the Train video that existed.  My previously active life had come to an immediate halt.  All I could do was wait for you to come.  By the end of my pregnancy I was enormous and unable to fit into most of my maternity wear.  Ironically, I had only gained 45 pounds, but my belly was huge.  One Friday evening, Dad and Alex and I went out for dinner and the hopes of doing a little Christmas shopping.  I was exhausted when we returned home, and decided to take a long bath before going to bed.  I carefully lowered my swollen self into the tub and wondered when you'd make your appearance.  I drifted off to sleep, and decided to heft myself out of the tub and in to bed.  Just as I was about to lay down on the bed, I felt a trickle of water down my leg.  It was time.

Your dad and I rushed to the hospital, Uncle Charlie met us there so that he could take Alex home with him.  In a completely different experience from the way your brother entered the world, I had a very smooth C-section and two babies less than two hours after I had arrived.  You were both small compared to your brother, Mario 6 pounds, 6 ounces and Annelise 5 pounds 3 ounces, but you were the pictures of health.  I was actually quite depressed that we had to leave the hospital not even 48 hours after your birth. You were two very easy babies.  You cried only when you were hungry or needed changed, and you slept through the night at two months old.  There's so much about your infancy and toddlerhood that I don't remember-it's just a blur of diapers and bottles and sippy cups.  What I remember most is that you forced me to slow down and to be there for you.  Working a full time job wasn't an economic option, so I worked part time in the evenings and was with you all day.  Once we moved to Minnesota, I didn't work full time again until you were in Kindergarten.  There are so many moments that I didn't capture on film, but I hold in my heart. One time, when you were about one and a half, Dad and I were reading the Sunday paper.  We realized it was unreasonably quiet in the house, so Dad tiptoed down to the basement to see what was going on.  Mario, you were holding the garage door up so that Annelise could crawl underneath it.  Annelise, once you got outside you held the door on the other side so that Mario could shimmy under and join you.  The two of you then frolicked around the yard in your footie pajamas while we watched you from the window. Annelise, I can't believe what a beautiful girl you've become.  As Miss Louise always says, you are "the girl with the sparkling eyes."  Lucky you, you've also got the personality to match.  You are happy and smiling 99% of the time.  You are smart and creative and imaginative.  I love that you and I have "girl time" and can go shopping together, get pedicures, watch chick flicks and eat at places the boys all hate.  It's important to have "girl time" in your life.  You have the most uncanny ability to imitate lines from TV shows and movies.  This only enhances your already sharp sense of humor.  You make me laugh frequently, and there's not many things in this world better than a daughter who can make you bust a gut. Mario, I am constantly amazed at your talent and your brilliance.  You are a gifted artist, and I look forward to the day when your work is displayed in a gallery or a museum.  I know you look at the world differently from the rest of us, and this often means you are serious and introspective.  When you finally decide to let down your guard and laugh hysterically, your laughter causes everyone in the room to join you.  For a twelve year old boy, you have such a sophisticated palate.  I love cooking for you because you take such pleasure in finer foods.  One of the nicest things you ever told me was that your favorite part of Christmas was walking in to our house on Christmas morning and being greeted me, Steve, Grandma and Uncle Chris and also by the smells of hot chocolate, ham, turkey, French toast and all your other beloved foods. When I was growing up, I knew a lot of boy/girl twins and I was perpetually fascinated by them.  I want you to always remember how lucky you are to have a "womb mate", and to cherish that relationship your entire life.  I've always felt like I was the luckiest mom in the world to get you two.  You are both my babies, even if you are almost teenagers. Posted at 12:34 PM in Kids, Twins | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)


Not if you take after your mother

Remember this exchange?

Annelise: What cup size would you say I am?
Me: Well, you're not even an A yet.
Annelise: Then an A minus?

Posted at 10:29 PM in Twins | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)


Lady, are you NUTS?

Posted at 11:10 AM in Twins | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Tags: IVF, late in life pregnancy, twins



