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Guest Post: Emotional Bubble-Wrap for Young People Changing Homes - Julie Etter

I was 14 or 15 when my parents decided to sell our home. Our relatively quiet, 2 lane street was being expanded to 4 lanes, and we were losing our sidewalk. They wanted to move to a quieter street. I wanted to move nowhere. And I was a real pill about it. I didn't want to leave my home, my bedroom, my playground. Change, in my mind, was bad.

Skip forward many years, to when Jim and I decided it was time to move out of our rental townhouse and buy a place of our own. My step-son, aged 8, was really upset when we told him. On questioning, we realised he thought he'd have to leave his things behind - his bed and toys. Once we explained that would all come with us, and that we'd be sure to get him a big yard to play in, he was on board. He just didn't understand what it meant to move.

And now I am selling again and making a major move across the country, to be closer to my family. Michael, aged 12, is a little worried about leaving his friends behind and having to make new ones. I reminded him that he changed schools last year and made new friends there pretty quickly. Although he will still miss his buddies here, that helped him see this move would be ok. He was worried about the unknown.

Moves are stressful for everyone, and as parents we need to be attuned to how our kids are feeling about the big changes coming. And even the big changes during the process - keeping the house spotless for showings, disrupting regular schedules with needing to leave for open houses and viewings, etc. This piece from author and realtor, Julie Etter, arrived in my inbox last week, and it is so timely, I decided to share it with you. Keep these points in mind to help your kids make it successfully through your next move. Moving can be hectic. It’s a contact sport. It’s physically and emotionally demanding at a time when you are supposed to still carry on the rest of life . . . jobs, dinner, rides to soccer. It’s a full-time job on top of a schedule that doesn’t have room for “another” job. So, in all of that, it’s easy to make mistakes with the kids and their involvement (or often lack-thereof) in the move.  As if there weren’t enough to think about, dealing with temper tantrums, outbursts, and sometimes intangible ways of fearful expressions, by kids in the middle of a move only adds to parental stress.  Below are some straightforward suggestions that parents can follow while moving children from one home to another. It all comes down to one fundamental component: involvement.
Most of all, just understand that the kids are moving, too. So, regardless of whether it’s a positive or negative move for the family, work through their reactions just as you do in your role as parent in any other life event. Trust, though, once everything is in motion, they are far more resilient than their adult counterparts. Julie Etter is a professional, national award-winning realtor and former middle-school teacher based in Wrentham, MA. She is the author of Lily and Andrew Are Moving (Hardcover, $14.95; Kindle, $11.99), published by JT Publications, LLC. For more information, visit www.treehousebuddies.com
Posted by Deborah Coombs at 9:57 am