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Arwen Receives a Common-Core Aligned Letter

I arrived home from work the other evening to find the following letter awaiting me in my mailbox.  I had heard about the cancellation of the Kindergarten play in Elwood, Long Island, but all that had seemed so far away.  As you might well imagine, as you read below, I was somewhat startled by the letter's contents. 
Dear Ms. Evenstar:

It is with unabashed bravado that we wish to inform you that the Fellowship of the Ring Academy will be cancelling your scholar's childhood.  We hope this missive helps you better comprehend the manner in which the rigorous demands of the 21st century are metamorphosing educational institutes and, more preternaturally, to elucidate upon misapprehensions pertaining to your scholar's childhood.  It is incredibly salient and of paramount importance that you keep in your faculty of consciousness the fact that this issue is not unique to the Fellowship of the Ring Academy.  Although the crusade toward more stringent learning standards has been prevalent in the national news for more than a decade, the effervescent face of education is commencing to feel unsettling for some humanoids.  What and how we teach is ever in fluctuation to meet the prerequisites of a shape-shifting world.

The rationale for exterminating your scholar's childhood is simple.  We are entrusted with prepping preparing biological offspring for college and career with infinitely priceless lifelong skills and have the cognition to appreciate that we can only affirm such superlative attainments through molding your scholars into strong readers, exemplars of expository passages, coworkers, and problem solvers.  Please do not fault us for crafting professional decisions that we know will never be able to please any sentient entity.  But know that we are formulating these directives with the welfare of all children in mind.


Mortimer Snerd                             Charlie McCarthy

Effie Klinker

p.s  During the 2014-2014 academic calendar, we have made some changes in the interests of your scholar:

1.  The Annual One-World-Many-Friends Multicultural Festival is canceled.
2.  Items other than #2 pencils and erasers will not be tolerated as show-and-tell items.
3.  The school will participate in only one field trip.  We will march single file to Barnes and Noble to purchase Pearson review books.
4.  The end-of-year Kiddie Olympics is canceled.
5.  The school's Thanksgiving Feast is canceled.  Teepee Ted has been given notice to take his buffalo skins and be on his way.
6.  There will be no birthday parties celebrated in classrooms.
7.  The Holiday Gingerbread Party will now be a Geometry Fest.
8.  The Kindergarten graduation is canceled.
9.  The 135th annual school carnival to raise money for disaster relief is canceled.
10.  The school play will feature one song, a revised edition of "We are the World," sung by the children.  They have been working hard to learn the lyrics to "We are the Test."

cc:  Bill Gates, Commissioner King, Regent Tisch, Michelle Rhee, Arne Duncan and President Obama Posted by Arwen E. at 4:08 AM View Comments 
Teachers' Message to Cuomo--Leave Moskowitz, the Tax Cap, and the GEA, Take the Cannoli Yesterday I went to Holbrook, NY, to join hundreds of Long Island teachers. We decided to greet Governor Cuomo at Villa Lombardi's, where he was joining a bunch of his BFFs for some manicotti, or whatever it is he eats when Sandra Lee isn't opening a nice can of sweet potatoes with vanilla extract. The anger was palpable.

There were two parking lots. Apparently those who bought the thousand dollar a plate dishes got the one by the main catering hall . As they came in, they received messages from the crowd like, "Shame on you!" or, "Don't do it!" Of course, these were Very Important People, and they didn't take our advice. After all, if they did, who would explain to the Governor the importance of giving away NYC to Eva Moskowitz, despite the overwhelming mandate of city voters to slow down her progress?

Eventually the main parking lot was insufficient, and a bunch of us were moved by the cops so as to enable the opening of the one across the street. One of Andy's pals actually had to drive from one side of the street to the other. This particular Very Important Person saw fit to stop in the middle of the street, with his car blocking traffic both ways during a huge rally, and discuss the vicissitudes of life with the very busy police officers trying to direct traffic. I don't often get to see people who feel quite this entitled, but this genius prattled on until the police made him move. The people in the overflow parking lot were not quite so lucky as the thousand-dollar a plate crowd. They had to endure the taunts and shouts of the crowd on their walk of shame from one side of the street to another. None of us actually saw Governor Cuomo enter, though the police assured us he was there. Perhaps he arrived in the back of one of the multitudinous SUVs with darkened windows. It's hard to say. Most of his BFFs seem to prefer Audis, though I saw a lot of Lexus and Mercedes, but there was one Hyundai, I kid you not, and this one arrived without even a chauffeur.

For some reason, UFT did not see fit to send anyone, and they certainly didn't send me either. Someone invited me on Facebook, in fact. I'm really glad I went. The feelings for the governor were palpable out there, and I certainly share them.We were out there for hours. One hungry teacher shouted to several of the Very Important BFFs, "Send us out a lasagna and no one will get hurt."

While our jobs and the education of our children are being threatened by the Moskowitz invasion, the one her BFFs bought for 800K, the one our union did absolutely nothing to prevent, schools statewide are being choked. Most districts outside of NY have had state aid cut via a Gap Elimination Adjustment, and concurrently are prohibited from raising school taxes above 2% or rate of inflation, whichever is lower. So jobs of teachers and school related professionals are being lost all over the state. In my district, we've lost a thousand dollars per kid just this year.

The best sign I was was carried by a little girl. It said, "I thought you were supposed to be MY advocate." Posted by NYC Educator at 5:13 AM View Comments 
Sell Your Tenure And You Sell Your Soul As public education is increasingly pushed into the arms of private business, market-minded individuals seek to end tenure.  They argue tenure protects the incompetent and strips students of their civil rights.  The war against tenure is presently being waged in Los Angeles in the Vergara Case.

Some argue if tenure doesn't work for private business, it can't work for public schools.  Small businesses cannot afford to absorb losses generated by inferior employees.  In general, the entire argument might go:  "What's good for General Motors is good for the country."  Of course, in defense of Charles E. Wilson, I would like to point out that he actually said something far more sensible and quite distinct from this.

People who frame the debate in these terms fail to understand that public education and private business are two very different birds, despite the best efforts of some to meld them into one.  Public education is a public trust.  No individual (or party of individuals) holds a monopoly upon the truth, or upon a single superior curriculum, not even Pearson with its Common-Core aligned standardized state tests, despite any product claims they may make to the contrary.

Good teaching demands academic freedom. Teachers need to be able to broach a variety of topics in the classroom.  Teachers should encourage debate.  Students need to hear both sides of issues and learn how to make their own informed decisions.  If there is no student on the other side of a debate, the teacher must be that person who helps students understand how someone might think differently.

Teachers need to be able to stuff their schools' suggestion box, so to speak, without fear for their job security.  I can think of one example.  I remember a certain professor with a Princeton Ph.D. who questioned mandatory attendance of the college body at chapel services in the early 1960s.  Unforeseen divisiveness ensued. Without tenure, he was dismissed.  He moved onto a more open-minded academic institution.  I would hazard to say all turned out for the best.  And, of course, that original employer no longer demands attendance at chapel services.

Tenure protects teachers who hold their students to high standards.  During the Bloomberg years, I witnessed a significant lowering of standards in order to meet his demands for increased graduation rates.  If teachers did not have tenure, they might be fired for offering a more challenging course.  Given a choice of an easier teacher or a harder one, most students would choose the easier one.  Without tenure, teachers who ask for more might very well be fired because student demand is low. Adam Smith's supply and demand doesn't function well in this part of the public sector.

If teachers did not have tenure, principals might operate their school as a huge patronage system.  New principals might fire an entire staff and stock the school with their cronies, regardless of public interest.  As it stands now in N.Y.C., principals must pay for their staff out of their school budgets.  When it comes to hiring ATRs, this system, beyond a doubt, discriminates against older teachers.

Teachers also need tenure to fortify any whistle-blower protections.  In public education, teachers are charged with the task of helping to protect and secure an environment which allows students to thrive, mentally and physically.  Teachers need tenure as an added layer of protection given the important role they play in protecting their students' interests and health.  Teachers do not need to face firing, disguised as something else, for pointing out potentially hazardous conditions.

I would argue teachers hold a job which in many ways makes them particularly susceptible to false accusations.  I would say the boldest of these assertions today is that teachers cause poverty.  Given that teachers may interact with upwards of 150 teenagers per day and are charged with the task of evaluating and grading their work, it makes them particularly susceptible to spiteful accusations.  Even as far back as 1934, Lillian Hellman exposed this concern in her play The Children's Hour. I also think of Arthur Miller's 1953 play, The Crucible, in which accusations by young girls fly across the Salem sky like imaginary witches on broomsticks.

When teachers are accused of inappropriate behavior today, they are immediately removed from contact with children.  This is a "no brainer."  From all I've read, the next thing to happen is that Campbell Brown wants the teacher axed without due-process rights.  Tenure guarantees due process.  It doesn't guarantee perverts a job.  It does not protect the incompetent from being fired.   It only helps to protect those who are falsely accused.

I am saddened that V.A.M. seems to be just another attempt to skirt teacher tenure. If my students do poorly on a test, I may be out the door--without much regard to the validity of the test or the quality of my teaching.  Petty administrators may stock some teacher's class with the worst test takers in the building and then sit back and smirk at the impending doom.  It could be a cheap and simple formula for dispensing with highly paid teachers.  A vindictive class of teenagers might decide to up and fail a test on purpose.  Currently in NY state, students know their high-stakes standardized test scores do not count against them.  They may put in next-to-no effort, unintentionally making a martyr of their teacher.

Despite the protections of tenure, many teachers are not retained.  Many teachers are weeded out during student teaching or during the years it takes to earn tenure. Others lose their jobs either because of incompetency or inappropriate behavior.  I have seen a number of teachers come and go in the space of my career, some for reasons I understand and others for reasons not fully grasped.  I realize it is costly and time-consuming to offer teachers their due-process rights, but it is better than summarily dismissing teachers without due cause.  It is intensely important for administrators to exercise good judgment when granting tenure.  It is important for teachers to be forced to prove themselves for a significant period of time first.  It is also important, however, to make teaching an attractive profession that will act like a magnet for the best and the brightest.  I would say right now, due largely to current educational reform, there are two negative poles in the profession.

For those like Michelle Rhee who would seek to encourage teachers to sell their tenure for promises of possible merit pay, I say, "put down your pitchfork."  Sell your tenure and you sell your soul.  This is no private business.  This is the public's welfare at stake. Posted by Arwen E. at 4:00 AM View Comments Labels: Campbell Brown, tenure


Taco Bell Is the Common Core of Fast Food I keep seeing commercials for Taco Bell breakfast, and while I watch them, from time to time, my mind says I should go try one of those things. Here's the problem. I'm actually quite fond of Mexican food, and every few years something tells me to go in and try one of those things. Actually, the last time it was my daughter, who developed a fondness for it since she and her friends discovered they could walk there from her school.

And yet, every time I try this joint I ask myself, "Why did I do that?" Nothing they serve is ever as pictured, and even if it were it would not be worth eating. While I don't eat at McDonald's, I always figure their food must at least taste good, or why would it be so popular, with a restaurant in pretty much every town in America?

So I have to figure the way Taco Bell does breakfast is the way they do everything else, which is very badly.

That's why it's awfully hard to believe people who say the issue with Common Core is the implementation. In one respect, they're right. For example, in NY State, if we hadn't implemented it, we'd surely have fewer problems with it. If our kids weren't taking Common Core tests in addition to Regents exams they'd be spending less time testing. If the new tests, for which our kids were totally unprepared, hadn't failed 70% of our children, they might not seem so awful and counter-productive.

And yet folks like John King, Bill Gates, Andrew Cuomo, and Barack Obama say we should move forward with this program. The problem with this theory is that zero of these education experts choose to send their kids to schools in which Common Core is used. It's good enough for our kids, but not theirs.

It's not what I want for my kid, or yours.

If Taco Bell wants me to eat a waffle taco, of whatever such abomination they've developed, they'll need commercials with not people named Ronald McDonald, but rather actual documentation that Gates, Obama and King eat this stuff. I give Cuomo a pass because his girlfriend is Sandra Lee, and if you've ever seen the sort of food she comes up with, we already know what his culinary standards are.

I've still got higher standards for my kid, and for the kids I teach. I won't feed them fast food, and I won't teach them fast food English either. Posted by NYC Educator at 8:44 AM View Comments 
For Sale--One New York Governor NY Governor Andrew Cuomo has taken at least 800K from BFFs of Eva Moskowitz, and at least 65K from the so-called Democrats for Education Reform. And thus, he's bought and paid for. Cuomo had no reservations about pushing a budget that essentially precluded the campaign promises that gained Bill de Blasio a landslide victory over his esteemed GOP opponent, what's-his-name. You know, that guy who marched over the bridge with Moskowitz and was defeated conclusively.

So we know that Governor Andy doesn't really care what voters think. If they get between him and hefty campaign contributions, they can go straight to hell as far as he's concerned. That's pretty much what he told New York City when he gave Eva Moskowitz the green light to start charter schools our duly-elected mayor rejected. Not only that, but they can expand like a cancer if they so desire, and if de Blasio can't give them public school space, the city will have to pick up the tab for their rent.

Thus spake the "student lobbyist." And yet this particular student lobbyist represents only the interests of those students backed up by hedge fund bucks. The other 97% of our students can go straight to hell along with their parents, the voters.

But in Governor Andy's New York, teachers are even more special than parents and children. Not only can they go straight to hell, but they can't come to his upstate charter party. Now it's no surprise nowadays when teachers aren't invited to education events. After all, why ask people who've devoted their lives to teaching children what they think about the best ways to do it? Are they gonna hand you a million dollars in on the books contributions and then provide you with suitcases of cash for those unpredictable exigencies? Of course not.

So what you do is charge a thousand bucks for a weekend. That ought to keep those teachers out. The only people expert enough to discuss education are those who can drop a grand for a weekend in Lake Placid.

But what do you know? Several teacher types came up with the money. The only solution, of course, was to return their money and not allow them in anyway. After all, teachers are special interests. You can't trust them to help you when your goal is eliminating public schools so hedge fund types can profit. So there you have it. Governor Cuomo and his charter school buds have not only kept teachers out, but also turned them down when they offered to pay to get in.

Because that's the sort of democracy you buy when you buy Andrew Cuomo for Governor of NY State.  And the reformy corporatist privatizers who've bought him are getting every penny's worth, while you and I, again, can go straight to hell along with our children. Labels: Andrew Cuomo, charter schools, DFER, Eva Moskowitz


Real People Who Stop Real Cheating--Welcome the Invigilators! by guest blogger Arwen E.

With the new emphasis on high-stakes testing, we need a new class of people.  I'm not talking about members of the Testing Industrial Complex, manufacturing exams, grading exams, selling exam-based textbooks for test prep and such.  I'm talking about the invigilators--the anti-cheating police (and no I did not make up that word).

The higher the stakes, the more important it becomes to have highly, qualified invigilators.  They were so effective in Hubei Province in China that students rioted there, chanting, "We want fairness.  There is no fairness if you do not let us cheat."  Skilled invigilators have been known to uncover cell phones in underwear and even transmitters in erasers!

As long as the tests are also high stakes for teachers, the invigilators will need to monitor teachers just as closely.  This may mean, in the most egregious situations, pat-downs and strip searches!

Since the work of invigilators is highly demanding, they need to be highly paid.  More resources must be funneled away from classrooms to pay these  elite invigilators with skills on par with the James Bonds of the past. They may take some lessons from Kasetsart University in Thailand where students apparently all agreed that it was fun to wear cheaply fashioned blinders. More lessons are to be learned from Thailand's Civil Aviation Center where boxes were all the rage. Tests must be given in dead zones, literally and figuratively, to prevent cheating via cellular devices.  There will be a need for companies to fashion sturdy, functional, reusable blinders.  Invigilators will always need to stay one step ahead of the potential cheater.  Giving credit where credit's due, namely at Blinders, Boxes and Beyond, how can they fail? 

The Gates/ Walton/ Broad Fix for That Nagging Teacher Problem