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but my name is Mr. Woo. You haven’t seen me in quite some time.
*drips sarcasm* The Food Lady is too good for us lowly dogs these days. She never bothers to photograph us anymore. She doesn’t even know how to use the camera these days. I don’t understand what the problem is. It’s not like that boring old dog is taking up all her time anymore. She sent that ole’ bag of bones packing so he went back home. There’s a lot less swearing in the house now. But also a lot less leftovers.

All weekend long she totally ignored us. I decided to to beat some sense into her with this big stick I found, but Piper and Tweed wouldn’t let me. Tweed wasn’t really into it. He had another plan to punish The Food Lady and drive her crazy – all weekend long at the agility trial he said he did something called “blowing her off,” “flipping her off” and “giving her the bird.” I don’t know what it means, but he seemed pretty satisfied with himself afterward. He spent a lot of time reflecting on what he calls his “Missing Contacts and What-Are-Weave-Pole-Entries-Anyway” plan. Except it didn’t work. TFL says she still loves him anyway.

She still loves me? And Piper is just a suck up.

“*I* didn’t miss any poles or contacts. Of course, I didn’t run in the trial this weekend, but still. I’m a perfect princess.” Dexter is a spaz. He can’t be trusted with any Food Lady Punishment plans. Now The Food Lady says she is busy working on making us more famous by redesigning the blog, so she STILL doesn’t have much free time to photograph us.

*sigh* My life is so hard. Please tell The Food Lady to spend more time with us!


