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Public Service Announcement..... Don't let that coquettish and demure look fool you, behind those seductive eyes
lies Danger and Disease! Because of it's tropical-like climate, Florida seems to be
the breeding ground for some unwanted foreign invaders. First it was the Burmese
Python, then it was the Cuban Tree Frog, now it's the Rhesus Monkey (Macaca Mulatta)!
Oh they seem harmless and cute, but of the 1000 or more feral monkeys living in
the Sunshine State, most are infected by the Herpes B Virus.
So if you are in a bar, or sitting in a park minding your own business, and one of these
furry little sluts cozies up next to you and tries to engage you in a little Crazy Monkey Love,
kindly thank them, give em a peanut or a banana, then move on. They Are Trouble!!
If you are Simian-Curious and/or from Possom Hollow West Virginia, always wear
a condom! (Herpes can also be spread through oral sex as well)

This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by Trojan...
(Don't be a Fool, Vulcanize that tool)
(No Glove...No Love!!)
Posted by G-Man at 10:29 AM hedgewitch said...

Too much monkey business, G. You crack me up.

Maybe Florida needs to build a big black monolith, and lure them to one spot for vaccination.

September 16, 2013 at 10:41:00 AM EDT G-Man said...

Joy, I can hear Also Sprach Zarathustra playing in the background....:P

September 16, 2013 at 10:57:00 AM EDT 
OMG! I always wanted a pet monkey ~~ my mother would NOT let me have one, a good thing.

I won't talk about the Ducks today :-)

September 16, 2013 at 12:53:00 PM EDT brandi said...

ewww sounds like monkey season. getcher permit at walmart and bag a few of those babes. literally...

September 16, 2013 at 1:03:00 PM EDT 
Jeez, Louise. Thanks for giving me more reasons to lose sleep - my daughter just moved to this paradise.

September 16, 2013 at 1:19:00 PM EDT Fireblossom said...

Is that true, about the monkeys? Wow.

September 16, 2013 at 7:12:00 PM EDT 
hey i used to live in florida you know....monkeys are cool...i would pet my monkey every day...hehe

i thought of you on saturday (no monkey involved) but i will say your boys are keeping you on the edge of your seat...

September 16, 2013 at 8:08:00 PM EDT Yvonne Osborne said...

Another reason to steer clear of the swamp water state.

September 16, 2013 at 8:38:00 PM EDT 
This will stop a lot of folks from monkeying around, I think!

September 16, 2013 at 9:22:00 PM EDT Aurora Hylton said...

My Cuzzin Hildy-Bob resents them there assertions about Possum Holler. She says that it's called Possum Holler for a reason, not Monkey Holler.
Dewey Banjer ain't picky though. He'll make anythin' holler, long as it gots a purty mouth.

September 17, 2013 at 6:25:00 AM EDT 
Hey don't you remember me?
You used to work at the Sonic in Gatlinburg, and I always ordered 'The King Milkshake' (peanut butter and bacon).
You called me Hun, and I always left your tip in quarters so that you could use them at the Laundermat.
It's me!!

September 17, 2013 at 8:20:00 AM EDT 
Goodness, I had not heard this juicy bit of information. I'll have to stick with kissing goats. ;-)

September 17, 2013 at 9:06:00 AM EDT TALON said...

Gives a whole different meaning to "monkeying around", Galen! :)

September 17, 2013 at 2:14:00 PM EDT 
Maybe the pythons will eat the monkeys.

September 17, 2013 at 8:16:00 PM EDT 
Come to think of it, G, it must have been discovered by the Gainesville, Florida Department of Health after a few frat parties... um, go gators??

September 17, 2013 at 9:50:00 PM EDT the walking man said...

Thanks Galen! Now I have to take funky monkey love off of my bucket list. What about Lemurs?

September 18, 2013 at 8:15:00 AM EDT 
...perhaps my 5th grader can bring this into health class - ha ha. If we lived in Chicago, I hear this would be appropriate for my kindergartener to bring to school as they are learning sex ed and all! :)

September 19, 2013 at 11:21:00 PM EDT JackAssery Bloggers Flash Fiction 55 Blogging Awards