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Working on myself
by myself

I wrote this today firstly during my lunch break. Then I arrived home this evening and had an epiphany to delete the whole article. Sometimes when you want to tell a story you have to pivot in multiple directions, dependent on mood and circumstance. When I wrote the deleted blog post it was rushed during my lunch break, that was my first mistake. I feel I am not meant to write or don't want to write in a hasty manner, hastiness leads to poor quality. In fact every single school report when I was kid all bore the same complaint, "Willem needs to be less hasty in his work, he has plenty of enthusiasm but he rushes his work". I have so many memories to rifle through albeit mostly blurred ones but some times the memories all merge in to one overall topic that I want to dissect, but sometimes the dissection can only go so far unless I went and wrote a book, being frank my skill of writing is no better than an average primary school kid at the best of times. I digress. My and my friend Baz 2008

I could talk about my woes of Willy Fat Boy from 96'-17' but I feel there would be little point in it. I am not sure what would be achieved by doing so. The overall point is I spent the best part of 21 years of my life on God's green earth as a carrier of weight, fat, and tubbiness. Was I happy? In the main I was happy, in fact my mum used to say candidly "you were happier and jollier when you were fat". I would definitely say there is some truth in that sort of statement. My thought process as a fat guy was "hmmm I would love to be thin someday.. but first a big bag of salt and vinegar Hunky Dorys before my dinner". Versus the thought process of when you lose weight being "I can't have that as I am watching my weight now", I certainly wasn't saying oooooh let me go for a run. By the way I am incapable of running, I feel like King Kong running down the street and for some reason my fillings hurt when I run, yup complete oddball weirdo. The highest weight I got to was 24.5 stone or for the metric folk 155kgs, that was my first weigh in on the 10th of February 2009. I had just been made redundant from my job in Dell Limerick, I was delighted cause I said to myself and my family this is it, until such time as I move about 6-7 stone I am not going back to work. I wanted to stay off work until the September, that was my goal, I wanted to lose as much weight as possible by then. I got my first gym membership on the 11th of February 2009 in the University of Limerick, I would end up going there every single day sometimes if the mood took me twice a day for the next 7 months. All I did was cardio, and some weights with a friend of mine, I ate very healthily as if my life depended on it. I ate no sugar, drank no alcohol and lived on a high protein with fibre diet. It worked, the weight literally fell off, it was damn tough at the beginning but I developed an unbreakable determination. It became an addiction going to the gym and losing weight I loved it. I also took a picture every couple of days of my weight loss and put it in a video, I will link it below, excuse the terrible music in the video and the obscene amount of football jerseys I used to wear. September 2009 - Post weight loss

By the time September rolled around I was ready to go back to work, I achieved my goal. I had lost 10st in the space of 7 months. All it took was determination, I found it turned out to be quite easy, would I do it again? not in a million years. I am proud of my achievement but I feel I really tested my body to the limit in that 7 months, and I know now there are far easier methods to lose weight. So many people swear by the latest diet, mix of healthy eating with gym work. For me I have found the diet that works best for me in Weight Watchers. I don't go to any groups or classes, I am determined and regimented so all I use is a little iPad app called MyScore. Yes I also call it a diet, that's what it is to me, so often I hear I am eating healthy but it is not a diet etc. maybe some people are embarrased by the word diet. I think personally unlike when I was overweight and at my highest, I now found dieting easy maybe it is because with the correct amount of determination and mindset I could lose whatever the hell I want. Now don't get it twisted I am a yo-yo dieter, take for example I could lose 3-4 stone between January of this year and August, but am I going to keep it off? knowing my past probably not. I calculated it recently as to how much weight I have lost in big chunks since 2009 between my original big loss and now due to on/off weigh losses. In total it's approximately 18st, naturally yeah I know it is nothing to be proud of but goes to show a) weight can be easy lost b) put back on even easier. 17th March 2017 - For some reason my face changes a lot, I find weirdly I don't look myself sometimes

Maybe cause I know now that I am able to shift weight easy. Am I going to advocate Weight Watchers ? Nope... Why? because for 1) I am not going to advise people to lose weight, it is none of my business 2) each person needs to find their own groove and weight loss programme should they want to lose weight. I think in my opinion lose weight for yourself no one else, if you are happy in the size you are fuck everyone else stay that size. Of course if losing weight will help your health do it, but if you are happy in yourself ignore the hateful folk. I remember a friend telling me one time if you are happy with your size, your wife is happy with her husband, then what else matters, who are you losing weight for? Right now I am 73 days in to losing weight so I can look my best for my brothers wedding in August. I have lost 2 stone as of Friday and it's coming off nicely 1 or 2 pounds every week. For sure I love seeing the weight come off primarily because old clothes fit, I feel less unhealthy and less lethargic. I love having my brother's wedding as my goal, a goal for me with weight loss is key it keeps me motivated. I feel like my weight has been something I have been dragging along with me all my life it's part of me and the story I have to tell.

