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5 Things That Are Harming Your Relationship (and How to Stop) Relationships ARE HARD. I'm not going to beat around the bush or "look on the bright side". They are tough, testy and beautiful. Harming your relationship may come easy and certainly does to the best of us (even when we don't realize we're doing it).

Over the years, I've had a few serious relationships - the most serious being the one I am in at this moment (3.5 years and a home together), and in all of these relationships there have been challenges! Inspired by my experiences and observations, here are the five things that are harming your relationship (and how to stop):


It's difficult at times to recognize that you do not have to spend every waking minute with your partner! This is definitely one of the pieces that I've struggled with the most throughout my relationships (greatly due to my severe anxiety).

Achieving independence can be horribly difficult for lovers who live in small living quarters (like my boyfriend and I!). When we moved into our apartment, the living rate drastically went up after our 6 month lease, so we inevitably couldn't afford a two bedroom and won't have a two bedroom until we can move out to a rental home. This creates difficulty when there is nowhere else to go but the bedroom or the bathroom! It's also a pain as a business owner having no designated office, but I soldier through it.

Break the habit:


Hopefully you've learned by now that you cannot change someone other than yourself! This is a common error that many romantic partners make. Maybe you wish your partner was college-educated, maybe you wish they had taken a different career path, maybe you just simply hate one of their bad habits or ticks. Whatever it is, you can't force them to change.

Change has to come from within the self. When you signed up for this relationship, you signed up for who they are in all of their beautiful colors. Love them for it!



This is tied in to #1 and independence, however this is really key in terms of finding something that you love that maybe your partner doesn't.

My boyfriend really enjoys gaming and football. Can you see my eye roll through the screen? Well, he eyerolls at my beauty guru YouTube videos, figure skating and while he respects it, this blog isn't exactly his forte! Having outlets of expression and individuality will certainly make or break your love.



One of the most popular errors made in a romantic relationship is lack of honesty and communication, and it's not only present in men (I'm still sticking by my belief that it is heightened in men, though...)!

Perhaps you don't want to tell your partner something out of the fear that they will reject you, not see you for who you are at your core or even become mad at you for it. All of this negative self-talk can be detrimental to your budding love.

If you don't trust that this person will understand you, why are you with them?



Compromise is at the heart of every good, healthy relationship. You can't be selfish and get by! When you were single, you were able to make decisions and think much less about the consequences they will have on others. This is a very large transition, as you now have another human's life that is directly impacted by what you do and don't do.

When you make a big life choice (or even a small one on the daily), it's so important to consider the wellbeing of your partner and how they might feel about your decision.


What do you struggle with in your relationship? Comment below! RelationshipsKathryn CoffmanNovember 19, 2016RomanceComment
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