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2 January 2011

road miles + museum + very scared. today i went to the v&a museum of childhood in bethnal green. mum has wanted to go there for years, lovely place, many toys from well childhood! charming surroundings, helpful staff, lovely cuppa. thats the museum part.

road miles; seeing that the south of france is on the cards some time in late spring, early summer i desperately need to get in some road miles. sad act that i am i found out that its 750 miles to cannes. i know that leaving it till the last minute isnt a very clever idea so i should prepare myself now. dad has a job coming in norwich however if its in january then thats a no-go(will explain in next paragraph) february will be fine. mum wants to see my brother so devon could be on the cards, and a trip to my aunts in warwickshire. oh and possibly scotland, another of my dads jobs. wise i think to try and attempt some road miles.

that leaves very scared; this saturday i have to be knocked out. ive never been under before, well if you consider having a tooth out by gas at the age of 5. im very scared. i have to have a camera up my botty (mmmmmm, not that you needed to know that, and im sure there will be no pictures for my blog!) im getting myself tangled up with thoughts. why does my brain work overtime?! also in january i have three other unpleasant procedures each of which im not looking forward to. this really is testing my anxiety on another level.
Posted by em at 19:13 
Hi Em, I think anyone would have at least some anticipatory anxiety prior to going into hospital. Worry is to be expected. I do understand how you must be feeling. I got myself worried sick about a little procedure some time ago. Was a total wreck beforehand. In the end I asked my GP for some diazapam which I must say really helped enormously. Getting knocked out is no big deal really, it's the worry that's far worse. Ask for a couple of sedatives if you think it will help you.

It's so hard not to think about something I know. ((hugs))

Hey, great that you have decided to go to France. That's something exciting and fun to look forward to. You've been so many places this last year without any trouble. I just know you will be fine.

Lots of love xxx

3 January 2011 at 00:38 

Great to see you are still getting out and about. The museum sounds fascinating. I'd imagine all those toys at one time lit up a thousand faces on birthdays and Christmas.

It reads like you have a very tough start to the year. Was hoping you would manage a breather, more so since you have so many plans on top of your own. I hope it all works out for you and we read about your trip to Cannes sometime on your blog (with photos too). That would be quite amazing.



3 January 2011 at 00:59 Rusty Hoe said...

So proud of you getting out and about Em, and you should be proud of yourself too. The road miles is a worry for me too. Being upright so long does not do wonders for the system, but just think France! That is worth the effort.

Anxiety before the procedure is completely normal and really if you said you were all rainbows and kittens about it I would think you had lost your mind. They do knock you out (I had both ends done at once 2 years ago, or the "full body floss" as my husband likes to call it. TMI?). You don't remember anything and it is all very discrete. I will have my fingers crossed for you that it is not too scary and that you recover well.


3 January 2011 at 04:03 
I do sympathise. I hate everything to do with hospitals and examinations...Don't beat yourself up about feeling anxious - it would be strange not to feel that way. Thinking of you.

4 January 2011 at 05:33 

thanks, i remember your procedure and how worried you were. im just trying not to think, although there are little spaces in my mind which loves to tease me!!!!

i know i have to do some work on going abroad, i just cant expect everything will be fine. road miles are an important tool in my mind. i need a medical plan, telephone numbers, should anything go wrong, health insurance (something that ive never bothered getting before), etc, to make that side of my brain more calm. oh a bikini, the sun, bit of sand and rosy too, if only everything goes to plan!xxx

4 January 2011 at 19:29 
hi necthan

i will be sure to take plenty of pictures. i dont suppose you would know if i were to take my computer away, and they had wifi in the village/house would i be able to connect? i know nothing much about computers, would love to know.xxx

4 January 2011 at 19:31 

could i ask milage wise (do they use miles or kms in australia?) how far have you travelled since having pots? i think the most i have been is two hundred miles in two stints.

also with the sigmoidoscopy how did you feel afterwards? what with having pots did you feel dizzy, or anything unpleasant? thanks emxxx

4 January 2011 at 19:35 

thanks, i used to be really nervous with hospitals before i became unwell. now i tolerate them, yet ive never been put out before so a little bit of added worry. as a treat today i bought myself some multi-coloured sock wool. thanksxxxx

4 January 2011 at 19:37 
everyone has said everything. i haven't many words today. no capital letters either, very bendy at the moment and thumbs do funny things when capitals required...

everyone is right, anticipatory anxiety is natural. make sure you tell them to hold your jaw in a proper position when extracting as naturally with EDS it will open wide and to avoid spasm tell them to hold it straight and not hyperextended if thats the right word for jaws that open too wide. i prefer things done frankly under general. one thing at a time. i have terrible driving phobia, if i have the gumption perhaps i could blog about it! panic attacks on xmas day and wasn't even driving now that was embarrasing.

hang on in there em, you do so much better than you think. more than I.

genuine gentle virtual hug from one bendy to another.


5 January 2011 at 05:37 
hi achelois

its not the dreaded wisdom teeth ache, its a camera up the bottom. lovely eh.

try not to worry about your anxiety, i can believe ive just wrote that, coming from someone with panic disorder! when i could drive i wasnt so bad when i was driving, but everyones different. hope you and your daughter are okx

5 January 2011 at 16:27