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There's a moral to this story

This past weekend was full of great food and it was cooked by other people. I didn't cook a thing. Not even toast. That's my favourite kind of food. Stuff that magically appears with no effort on my part. In a previous life I think I was a Princess and people fetched and carried for me  and I didn't have to lift a finger. Somehow I've retained the memory of those wonderful times and I'm spending a lot of my current life pissed off that I have to do all of those things myself.

On Sunday, we went to Cheesefest so not only did I eat my weight in cheese samples, I also managed to chug down some chips fried in duck fat (mmmm healthy) and a pork belly burger with caramelised apples and some funky (in a good way) BBQ sauce. I'm thinking I may try to recreate those burgers at home. It'd be a great meal to do for a crowd and it was delicious. We bought some cheese.  Oh how we bought cheese. I am a cheese-a-holic and if I ever turn into a serial killer and wind up on death row I'm going to ask for a cheese platter as my last meal. And since we have 43 blocks of cheese I'm all ready for guests so if you want to come over please feel free . Bring crackers. Cynthia, you're in charge of bringing wine. When I got home on Sunday , I felt the urge to bake. Cookies no less. The idea has been rattling round in my head for about a week and would simply not be silenced. That was my first mistake- listening to the voices in my head. I've been trolling Pinterest and the internet looking for inspiration. And I continued searching when I got home from Cheesefest yesterday. Because I was so full of cheese I needed something sweet. After two hours, I finally narrowed it down to Ginger Molasses Cookies or Chocolate Chip.

Then I decided I was feeling way too lazy to bake cookies.

An hour later, in  a flash of motivation I decided it was now or never.   And I chose Cinnamon and Brown Butter Chocolate Chip.  I'd have those babies done in time for warm cookies for a late supper. That was the plan as it played out in my head.

This is a slightly complicated recipe. First you have to brown the butter without burning it.  Then you have to cool it to room temperature. Then in another bowl you have to get some of the dry ingredients together. Then you have to add other stuff to the cooled butter and beat it until your arm falls off. Then with your other arm you have to add the dry ingredients. Finally you have to add the chocolate chips and stir them in by hand with a spoon. I used every bowl, measuring cup and spoon in my kitchen.

That's when I took a breather and decided to clean up a bit and turn the oven on to heat in preparation for the delight of baking my own cookies. So I flicked my eye over the recipe to see what temperature the oven had to be on, when out of the corner of my eye I saw this in the recipe.

Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate the dough for at least 12 hours.

I'm pretty sure I said WTF! out loud. And you all know how much I abhor swearing. I've heard of resting pastry and even refrigerating cookie dough but for 12 hours? Really? The dough didn't do anything but laze around in the bowl. If anyone deserved a 12 hour rest it was probably me, not that lazy arse cookie dough. But I was determined these cookies were going to be awesome and so I accepted I was just going to have to get up at the crack of dawn and bake those cookies before I went to work. Every time I deviate from a recipe I end up scraping stuff off my ceiling.

That early am cookie baking? Didn't happen. I got distracted by a load of Bloggers Quilt Festival posts. I excel at finding things to distract myself.

So when I got home tonight and told Mr. P it was too hot to cook dinner and that I hadn't even eaten lunch until 3pm so I wasn't all that hungry anyway I had totally forgotten I had 23 hour old cookie dough cooling its chips in my fridge. Until I opened the fridge at 7.00pm to get a drink and saw it sitting there looking at me with accusing eyes. By this stage I had 23 hours of my life and about 17.00 bucks in cookie ingredients invested in a finish.

I said WTF! And you all know how much I abhor swearing. And then I took the cooking dough out of the fridge and sat it on the bench to come to room temperature as the recipe called for (making the whole resting in the fridge for 23 hours kind of redundant if you ask me since it was at room temperature yesterday before I put it in the fridge) and then I rolled those cookies into balls and threw them in a 180C degree oven to torture them for 10-14 minutes. These cookies are da bomb. Cinnamony and chocolatey and buttery deliciousness.  Mine are also the size of man hole covers, so I can eat three without feeling a shred of guilt. Run off and make them now. Just don't forget about the 12 hour compulsory rest after the first leg of the race. The moral of this story. Things are only ever effortless with food when someone else takes responsibility for it. ( I just sent Mr. P down to the shops to get my dinner - a pack of salt and vinegar chips) Lessons learned: Read the freaking recipe BEFORE you start cooking. Posted by Shay at 8:21 PM Labels: adventures in baking, damn you 12 hour baking delay, what kind of a dip shit doesn't read the recipe before they start cooking Dianne Neale said...

You and I should get together sometime. Maybe together we could be a force to reckon with. No-one told me you had to read a recipe first.
Thanks for making me laugh. I'll be over for the cheese soon, but I'd have to make some crackers, and we all know where that would lead.

October 29, 2012 at 8:37 PM 
Oh the cheese! I am so sorry I don't live round the corner from you any more. I'd love to come to your house and be fed by your cheese. (Princess here too I think)

October 29, 2012 at 8:51 PM 
WTF I hate reading instructions! The only decent instructions anyone ever wrote was Mr Lego...
I totally get THOSE instructions cos they are PICTURES!
however I digress, hmmm yep l do read the recipe first because the bit about creaming the butter and sugar is always in the first sentence, and so l can stop after that...cos that's too much effort for me! I cannot believe you made the cookies...l would have just eaten the dough raw! great story! PS I made my own dip on the weekend...l don't really do cheese....but that takes months to make, so do admire the cheese makes skill and patience! ;-)

October 29, 2012 at 8:52 PM 
I loves me some cheese and sadly, the stinkier the better!

October 29, 2012 at 8:57 PM 
Happy to help with the cheese situation! I LOVE cheese, how did I miss Cheesefest? Is it annual, if so I'm so there next year. Might not be good for my other half as he has a bit of a cholesterol problem. Good news is that I don't - Ha!

You know why that damn cookie dough has to rest for 12 hours? Cos that's how long it takes you to clean up and get your strength back after the first bit.

I like muffins - all you need is a bowl and a wooden spoon and you're done. The best bit, you're only allowed to mix it until its just combined so minimum effort as well - perfect for me!

October 29, 2012 at 9:22 PM 
The cookies sound marveloous. One other thing besides reading the recipe first, when you are reading that receipe, make sure you have your glasses on. It makes a huge difference if you use only 3/4 cup of butter and the receipe calls for 1 and 3/4 cup. Ask Drama Teen.

October 29, 2012 at 9:56 PM 
Hysterical! Totally sounds like what I'd do - but I'd probably promise baked goodies when I have a pile of people over and THEN see that the dough needed refrig - they look amazing!

October 29, 2012 at 10:53 PM 
Those look sooooooooo good! Perhaps a note for the future, if making the recipe includes a WTF or two, it might be a good one!

October 30, 2012 at 12:25 AM 
As always, your posts f$&*ing make my day ;)

p.s. I want some cookies!

October 30, 2012 at 12:32 AM 
The thing I hate most about baking is the disproportionate work to enjoyment ratio. It takes a ton of time, dirties a ton of dishes and then is gone in about 3.2 seconds. However, I'm kind of tempted by those cookies b/c they look amazing.

Cheesefest sounds fun. I'll be round with some crackers.


October 30, 2012 at 1:10 AM Flo @ Butterfly Quilting said...

Sort of like reading the quilting pattern before you start cutting...I never do that either!!
I am a bit concerned, though, that you have actually given thought to what you want as your last supper on death row LOL!!

October 30, 2012 at 1:11 AM 
I'll be around with a couple of bottles of wine pronto. Hope you've saved me a couple of those WTF cookies.
I always read the recipe first too, like Sue I intensely dislike the creaming butter and sugar bit, too much work for not enough reward in my opinion. I also take note of how many bowls and cooking implements I'm going to need to clean before I attempt baking anything. Needless to say, not much baking happens around here. Im just happy with wine, or a cocktail or four.

October 30, 2012 at 2:15 AM Cynthia L. said...

I can't tell you how many times I have messed up recipes because I thought I new better and didn't read the recipe completly. Of course, it could have been the wine also!

I will be over with a lot of wine, since you have a lot of cheese! Who was bringing the crackers? Ms. Sunshine? I think it will be a great party!

October 30, 2012 at 2:19 AM Quiltn Mama said...

Reading directions is for amateurs. Skip 'em and belt out a few WTFs as you go along to make the whole experience that much more lively!!

October 30, 2012 at 2:32 AM 
I think maybe the cookie recipe writer was tired and didn't want to stay up until 2:00 a.m. to finish her cookies so SHE went to rest for 12 hours before cooking. I would not give dough more than 4 hours of rest, dammit, I want my cookies! Glad they were successful and replaced dinner with no problem. Really sorry you had to swear, I know how you abhor that.

October 30, 2012 at 3:52 AM 
and the moral is, don't eat your cookies before they're baked??

Since you only swore twice, that's like not swearing at all (or is that all you're confessing to). The cookies look great! I don't know why they don't have a warning label for things like that. or something at the very top so you don't have to read all the way through to get the bad news.

It's kind of like a bread recipe when I'm thinking that I only have to wait for the dough to rise and then find out that it has to wait 4+ hours for something or other.

Sounds like a wonderful weekend otherwise ..

October 30, 2012 at 7:14 AM 
Oh? You are supposed to actually READ the directions? I thought skimming them for the important parts was good enough?

October 30, 2012 at 8:11 AM 
Sounds like a lot of work for some cinnamon, chocolate goodness.
Glad the mr organized your dinner.
Enjoy the cookies.

October 30, 2012 at 10:39 AM 
Haha - great advice, I hate recipes that make you wait when you don't expect it! I too love being waited upon - that's why cruises are my favorite vacations!

October 30, 2012 at 11:36 AM 
I saw an add on a bus as it whizzed by yesterday and I thought I should take my son he LLLLOVES cheese but it looks like we missed out. It would have been very expensive if we did go so I am kinda glad i didn't know about it. I'm trying to cut down the amount of dairy he eats anyway.

October 30, 2012 at 1:28 PM 
The cookies I do at christmas have to be in the fridge for 24 hours, it is to develop the dk colour in the dough apparently.

October 30, 2012 at 1:30 PM 
And.....that's why I don't make cookies! Measuring, resting, and following directions are not my strong suit. At all.

I'm just glad after all of your troubles you actually liked the result!!!!

I'm proud of you!

As for your cheese.....yum. I.love.cheese.

Please make the pork belly sandwich and give us all the recipe!!!

October 30, 2012 at 11:55 PM Modern Male Homemaker said...

Cheese and chocolate chip cookies? I knew I sensed a kindred spirit! As for letting the dough rest, my personal chocolate chip cookie recipe (which will be taken to the grave with me because eventually it will become the stuff of legends) has to be refrigerated for at least 24 hours to allow the gluten to relax. It also prevents the cookies from spreading into one large conglomerate mess. Your cookies sound amazing, and I now have cheese envy. Thanks.

October 31, 2012 at 12:31 AM 
First...I am a total cheesehead...I can relate to what you're talking about. Second...the cookies are making me drool all over my laptop...Third.."And you all know how much I abhor swearing."....was that a joke? :o) xoxo

October 31, 2012 at 2:03 PM Marti said...

LOL, that so sounds like me. But you followed through and baked the cookies. They'd probably still be in my fridge, growing some kind of mold. I have found once my enthusiasm wanes, it's gone for good.

November 2, 2012 at 1:27 PM Pokey said...

I'm so slow to write in, but I have to tell you, I've read this out loud to the family, honestly! You crack me up, Miss Shay!

November 5, 2012 at 2:22 PM