[null, {"document_url": "https://www.parkslopeparents.com/Newsflash/kids-death-green-wood.html", "unformatted_src": "https://d1h8gntxyjhvml.cloudfront.net/images/GW-kids-event.jpg", "src": "https://d1h8gntxyjhvml.cloudfront.net/images/GW-kids-event.jpg", "formatted_filename": "GW kids event", "alt_text": "GW-kids-event"}, null, null]
How To Talk To Kids About Death: Overview

Parent Category: Newsflashes
Category: Newsflash, Dealing with Death


Amy Cunningham The Inspired Funeral 

Ask kids questions and listen. “What do you think happens when you die?” “How are you feeling?” Know that sadness, anger and maybe relief are natural emotions to be feeling.

Any child old enough to love is old enough to grieve. Grieving is not a pathology that we need to “fix.” There are ebbs and flows in grieving. Also know that kids (young kids especially) can’t take a lot of intense sadness at once. If they seem really sad but then seem to be happy, that’s normal. If kids are running around laughing at the funeral remember—they’re just kids! Oh, and don’t assume that the death of a pet isn’t as upsetting as the death of a person.

How does age effect how kids deal with death? Of course it depends on the child, but generally…

Inform the kids’ school that there’s been a death and ask they can keep an eye on your child. Kids are sensitive to being “different” so may not want to talk about death with their friends, teachers or school counselors.

Letting kids get involved can help them process their grief. Don’t force them to help; offer but don’t push (follow their lead). Decorating the cremation box (which is cardboard), shovel soil into the grave, help spread the ashes, write letters to the deceased for the coffin or cremation box, or write a story/obituary about the deceased. If they want to look at an open casket that’s okay. Ask if they want to speak at the funeral (if appropriate).

Honor the dead with rituals

(Here are some other we've researched)

Lean on others (friends, family, therapists) for your own grieving. If you are not okay you can’t be present for your kids. All of the things mentioned above can also help you (e.g., rituals, processing, etc.)

Here’s the Children’s Booklist by the National Home Funeral Alliance that has a bunch of different books that help explain death to kids of different ages. The book Milestones was one that the speakers mentioned specifically.

PSP Announcements Join Our Discussion


Behavior and Discipline

Traveling With Kids Advice
