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The Comfort of a Long Marriage As I approach my 28th wedding anniversary today, marriage is on my mind.

I remember when we first met.

I remember our long phone calls.

I remember when he proposed and me having no doubt on how I would respond.

I remember planning the wedding.

I remember my mother making my dress and I remember my future Mother In Law bringing anthuriums from Jamaica.

I remember that I was not a nervous bride and that my future husband was actually on time!

I remember riding to the church in an antique limousine.

I remember the bridal party colors (peach for the bridesmaids and turquoise for the Maid Of Honor) - what was I thinking?

I remember the wedded bliss of the first year - we both agree that this was not a difficult year for us.

I remember the excitement around getting pregnant and looking back, recognizing how both of us had no idea how our lives would change. I remember each subsequent pregnancy.

I remember when we purchased our first house that became a home.

There are so much more memories, that happy tears, sad tears and anything in between rim my eyes as I type this.

The 28th year is not like the first year -we've built lives together and there's a history between us. The giddiness is gone which has been replaced by a steadfastness. Right now we're in a bit of a rut - figuring out what's next and where do we go from here. Being an emotional support to our adult children while not forgetting about each other. Determining which new dreams we want to pursue and figuring out if we have the time, resources or energy. Making sure the 14-year-old (whose birthday is on our anniversary) is getting the best of us. We're in a rut, but we're in it together and sometimes glimmers of that giddiness may reappear.

If I had one marriage key to share it would be to make sure that you agree on the big things, the foundational things, your values, because no matter how strong the winds that blow, you won't be shaken. In our rut we still share, and we still try to talk to each other daily. We still hug and remember to kiss when saying goodbye. The hardest part may be the constant re-learning of each other and just recognizing the person in front of you not who they used to be. I'm the energizer bunny in my household - but I used to be more high strung. Sometimes you get so used to dealing with high-strung you don't recognize the calmer version in front of you.

A three cord strand is not easily broken - this was imprinted on our wedding stationary and this has proven to be true these many years. This has been our foundation. We're in a rut but we're not easily broken because the Person at the center of our marriage keeps us together. I don't know what I expected, but this is a good rut to be in - with someone who loves me unconditionally and vice versa. We're coming out of this rut together and looking forward to many more years ahead.

Here's to hoping that you can take comfort in the longevity of your marriage. How many years is it for you? If you're single, do you wish to be married? Why or why not?

PS - We're doing something new and exciting today; I'll share with you later.
 Labels: #weekendwellness, encouragement, faith, hope, love, marriage

