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When God asks me to wait....again.

Sigh..here it is the end of November, National Adoption Month, and I feel as if I did nothing to support adoption. I mean sure I posted a few blog posts here and there and posted on facebook, but I'm not so sure that changes someone's heart?

What I really wanted to do this November was to change lives for adoption. To support adoptive parents, to support foster care, to support birth parents. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it, but I really wanted to do it.

Not for me, but for them...the waiting children, the anxious birthmom, the lonely child. I wanted to help them. And I'm pretty sure I failed.

I'll be honest, I'm really struggling with where to "fit in" in the adoption world. We aren't currently adopting, and I'm not sure we ever will again. Yet, after knowing the adoption world, I feel like I can't just step out of it and back into the "regular" world. If I did that, I'd feel like I was turning a blind eye to all the hurt, loss, need, and beauty in adoption. So I sit here tonight with my tea in my hands wondering just where God would have us "fit in". What does He have for us?

I thought I knew, but now, now I'm just now sure. I feel lost, alone, and sad. So I stand with my hands stretched wide asking God, "What now?" and like a whispered wind blowing across my heart, He tells me, "Wait daughter. Wait.".

So for now, I wait.

Posted by Vanessa at 12:11 AM Labels: adoption, adoption wait, birthmom, foster care, God, National Adoption Month, thoughts on adoption



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