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Families Change
Parent Guide to Separation & Divorce


Home » Parent Guide » Telling the Children » How do I let my kids know they can talk to me? After you tell the children about the separation or divorce, let them know they can always talk to you. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Make opportunities to talk

Encourage conversation

Do what you can to keep the discussion going. One of the best ways to help your kids feel comfortable talking with you is to have conversations with them about everyday things, too. Ask them about school, about their friends; talk about what you’re going to have for supper. If you only talk about the divorce, they might avoid talking to you at all.

To help get conversations going, try asking open ended questions that can’t be answered with just ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Try, “What did you do at school today?” or “Let's talk about what we want to do this weekend” to get a discussion going.

Here are some more tips:

Listen to what they have to say

Encourage their questions

Answer their questions

Children may ask questions that are difficult to answer. Do not avoid a question or give your child a misleading answer. If they have the courage to ask, try to find the courage to answer. If you don't have an answer for them, be honest about it. Say you don't know or haven't made a decision yet.

Read ”How should I answer my children's questions?” for more information.

In the Speak Up! sections of both the Kids' Guide and Teen Guide, children are encouraged to:

If you think that your child is shutting you out, talk to your family doctor, counsellor, social worker or other trusted professional.

‹ How should I answer my children’s questions? up How should I tell other people in my child’s life? ›

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