document: Donald Trump Lands a Fox News Gig -- Sublime television clown Donald Trump 's pretend presidential candidacy is chugging along splendidly as it rains gold , laughs , and a deeper appreciation for the surreal across this great nation . It 's fun to write about , it 's chilling to read about , and it 's lucrative for Donald Trump . His Celebrity Apprentice ratings are up , he 's getting more headlines than any other '' `` real '' '' GOP presidential contenders , and now he 's landed another television gig . This why he 's running a pretend presidential campaign , of course , and the con should keep bearing fruit until he suddenly '' `` drops out '' '' of the race to spend more time with his latest family , during sweeps week . Fox News has made Donald Trump a contributor , folks . It 's happened . Supposedly Fox News ' policy was to cut its contributors who are considering presidential runs , but that was at least a week or two ago and conditions on the ground have changed . Thank goodness . Because he wo n't be on any terrible Fox News show , either . His weekly segment will be on Fox & Friends , the network 's illiterate dementia variety hour . '' `` Monday Mornings with Trump , '' '' as it will be titled , consolidates three of Americans ' least favorite things into four words . Have you set your TiVo yet ?
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