1. Meet The Muse

An Interesting Writing Session With My Muse

Written By: Kaede Kinkade, with a little help from her muse.

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Disclaimer: Um. I own myself. Does that make sense? 

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Rating: PG

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Authors Note: This is just some of my random craziness, due to lack of plot bunnies. 

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Of course, things like this happen when I'm the only one around. You know. My muse never pops up while a friend is over or something. So whenever I talk about my muse people look at me like I'm crazy. So one day, I'm alone typing away on the computer, listening to music and drinking some mountain dew [my drink of choice] and out of nowhere, bam…my muse appears.

"Hello der petite." I turn around in my chair to see none other then Remy Lebeau…I blinked oddly pushing my glasses up with my index finger. 

"Gambit?" I stated in my weird accent, I mean I'm from Michigan…I have a weird accent…trust me on this.

"Eh…technically no." He stated sitting down on my bed, pulling off a tan over coat as he did so. I poked him just to make sure he was real.

"Technically?" I questioned looking down for the first time to realize I look like crap, I mean it's almost six pm and I'm still in my night cloths [boxers and a long sleeve shirt] not to mention I have no makeup on and my hair looks like I put my finger in an electrical socket. 

"Well, Remy here isn't actually de' Remy dat' you know." He started while I was still poking his leg slightly. "You see, Remy here is yer muse. Remy be giving you plot bunnies and support when you need it. Remy here is a different version then de comic books. Completely different." He explained to me as I yawned.

"So then, that means you're the person that makes me create stories?" I asked while turning around in my chair to answer an IM from a fellow author, [LizzyTheLizzar check her out…a big humor writer.] 

Remy apparently didn't like the fact that I turned my back to him, suddenly he appeared sitting on my computer desk, after sweeping some printouts and empty can's of soda to the floor. I glared at him slightly…now my floor was messy. Oh well.

"Remy be one of de people dat helps wit' yer stories." He explained while taking off his sunglasses, seeing as my room is relatively dark, I mean I do have sheets covering the windows.

"Only one? You mean I have more muses other then you?" I asked with my brows raised as I leaned back in my chair placing my arms over my stomach.

"You have a muse for each different fandom you write for. Remy be yer X-Men muse." He explained flipping a playing card through his fingers causing my eye to twitch slightly.

"Oh so you're the reason I can't create another chapter for my evolution fanfic, Standing By The Bridge?" I all but yelled at him causing Remy the Muse to drop the playing cards to the floor.

"Eh…Remy don't like the direction it be going…first off you have an original character. Not to mention she be all bad ass like…an' Scott has a crush on her…an' Logan is her father…an' Magneto be after her. Remy tinks dis is becoming a MARY-SUE" 

[insert booming music hear]

"A…a…Mary-Sue?" [More booming music] I couldn't believe his words. My fan fiction story has twelve good reviews! None said anything about my main original character being a Mary- Sue! [more booming music]

"Yes, although there are ways to make sure dat she doesn't become one…like, don't let her get wit' Scott, even though she has a crush on him…an' make sure that Logan an her aren't all buddy like now dat she knows he's her father. See where Remy be going wit dis?"

I simply nodded and then punched his shoulder.

"Don't scare me like that. I thought I just wrote six chapters about a Mary-Sue" [booming music] "And why is there music after we say Mary-sue?" [More booming music]

Remy looked around and I stayed put, hearing someone shout at me to turn down my music. Hmm, better not say Mary-sue [booming music] or…think it. Remy was now thumbing through my Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Watcher Guide Vol. 2, I watched as a smile toyed at his lips as he turned the open book around to show me some pages that I had highlighted.

"What? It's so that I can write better fan fiction…" I defended myself and he just laughed deeply.

"Remy know what it's for Kaede, but Remy also know dat you don't need a book. Why not have someone straight from the show…another muse…" He stated flipping the book closed and setting it back on my desk as I heard another person behind me.

"Cajun is right luv…ya need someone from the source…" 

And then I woke up from a dream, laying on my bed, my head buried under pillows and my blankets near my feet. It was a dream? Or was it? Maybe that's how muses work? Hmm, I suddenly have an idea for a Buffy the vampire slayer fan fiction…


	2. Makeover horror music

An Interesting Writing Session With My Muse Part Two

Written By: Kaede Kinkade

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Disclaimer: I still own myself. Man that sounds freaking weird…

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Authors Note: Just the second chapter in my lovely story about my muses. I have way to many to keep straight. This time, my two muses get together to help me with my evolution fan fiction I'm working on.

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Part Two: Enter The Brit From Buffy

After waking up from that odd dream about muses I glanced at my clock, it was almost one pm. Wow, talk about sleeping in. With a yawn I got out of bed and started my computer before walking out of my room and beginning my Morning…eh…Afternoon ritual. You know, Shower, get all waked up…chores that my parents force me to do…stuff like that. 

About an hour after starting my computer I was back, with a jelly doughnut and mountain dew. Breakfast of Champions…or would that be lunch since it was afternoon? Hmmm…I'll have to think about that one…oh wait…the story. Sorry I can get sidetracked easily. So back to the story,

Well as I was saying I plopped down in my computer chair and went directly to AOL, then I brought up word, like I always do. But something clicked me out of AOL…and when I glanced to see what that something was…it was none other then…my muse…Remy Lebeau.

"Firs' rule, you can't write and do anyting' else udder wise, yer story will always get put on hold. Trust Remy, 'e knows…" 

I blinked…so it wasn't just a dream…I poked him just to make sure that he was really there and I wasn't going insane and seeing things. He made a little noise and poked me back before shoving my jelly doughnut into his mouth.

"Hey! That was mine!" I stated crossing my arms over my chest with a humph! Noise. Remy just smirked and finished off "his" Jelly doughnut with MY Mountain Dew. Oh…that so was not cool. 

"What's yours is Remy's, and what's Remy's is…uh…Remy's…sides' muses like me need food. Brain power…" He started to say only being cut off by another voice in my room. Turning around in my chair I swear my jaw must have hit the floor. 

Standing next to my bed and smoking a cigarette was a very pale man, with bleach blonde hair. 

Spike.

William The Bloody.

The Big Bad.

Wow. Amazing. Damn I'm going insane. But wait, wasn't he in my dream last night? No…only his voice. But good enough. 

"So you're the new author…" He stated stepping up towards me, his long black coat billowing out behind him as he took my face in his hand and glanced me over, I just looked at him oddly as he pushed on my face as if it were clay. He gave a slight frown and glanced towards Remy. "Is she any good…I mean come on…she doesn't look like an author…" 

Remy patted me on the back…what the hell, is it touch the Kaede day or something? 

"Well, she has only one story posted…for X-Men Evolution. It has thirteen reviews. An' dey are all good reviews too." Remy stated walking around my room and looking at some of the pictures on the wall, whilst Spike just lifted my arm up into the air…

"Well…she doesn't look like an author…I guess we can fix that though…"

I blinked and cringed as a smile appeared on Spikes face before he turned to glance at Remy who was currently checking himself out in my mirror…

"It's time to make this girl an author…in every sense of the word…" 

At that Remy turned around with a slightly terrified look on his face.

"Non, you don mean…."

"Yes…A complete and total Makeover" [horror music] We all look around to see where the music is coming from. 

"A Makeover?" [horror music] I ask glancing at both of them, as they pulled me out of my chair to stand.

"Yes a makeover [horror music] pet. You see, it helps to look and act the part of an author. You'll get more respect." Spike explained taking my measurements while Remy was busy looking through a cloths rack, that appeared out of no where. 

"And what does an author act like?" I asked while someone handed me a cup of coffee. I hate coffee…

"Eccentric." Both Remy and Spike stated at the same time. I blinked. How exactly was this helping me and my story? Well…I got to admit those two are mighty fine pieces of muses…I wonder how I ended up with muses like that. Is there a place where I can order muses? Or do they just come to me? Uh-oh, Spike is looking at my neck funny. I should ask him if he has his chip…or at least his soul. I mean, having big bad Spike would indeed be very bad. But oh they are so sexy. 

Damn I wish Remy didn't eat my doughnut…"


	3. Insanity At School

Fun With Muses

Written By: Kaede Kinkade

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Rating: R

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Disclaimer: I own myself….yep

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Authors Note: Just more information about my muses I guess.

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Tricks Of The Trade

I had just found out about muses, well not just….rather, just found out that I had muses. I'm pretty sure seeing them means I'm insane…well at least I'm not seeing giant bugs or something. This is the good kind of insanity. 

A few weeks ago Spike had forced me to change my whole wardrobe, I now must wear all black, he tells me it makes me look more creative and more like an author…I think Spike is insane. It's funny, I'm insane and my delusions that are in the form of muses are insane. I haven't seen Remy or Spike since our last little get together and I was starting to think I was gaining my sanity back. 

But things are never that easy. 

Never. 

Today I had no choice but to wear all black again to school, I swear my teachers are thinking I'm getting depressed and suicidal or something. I really don't care though, I hate school. Ever since I moved to this damn small school I've hated it. So at school I tend to stay by myself…and write. 

This day like all others was no different to begin with, first off to A.P. Biology, which I found myself a seat in the back and pulled out my sketch book, I never write early in the morning, my head is still to fuzzy. Instead I draw, and today I happened to be drawing a picture of Logan. I was putting the finishing touches on him when the empty seat in front of me suddenly became filled with none other then Remy the muse.

I looked up at him, he was sitting backwards in the chair so to face me, a slight smirk on his face and a look of dread on mine. No…I didn't need to see them at school…man people were going to think I'm more weird then I already am.

He took one look at the picture and gave a slight sigh while tapping at the drawing of Logan.

"You draw Logan, but not Remy? Remy be yer muse afta' all an' Logan he be just…Logan…You hurt Remy's feelings petite." 

I rolled my eyes feeling the charm just drip off of him, I was about to say something back but the bell had rang, I smirked and stuck my tongue out at Remy as I closed my sketch pad and picked up my backpack before walking out of class.

Little did I know this was just the beginning. Remy had followed me to my locker, which Spike was currently leaning against. This day couldn't possibly get any worse can it? I think I spoke to soon. I ignored both of their comments as I dug out my Advanced Algebra book, god I hate math.

"I think little nibblet is mad at us…" Spike pointed out to Remy as I started to bang my head against my locker, getting odd looks from people passing by. 

"I tink she be having a nervous breakdown, best get 'er outta here…" I heard from Remy before I felt two sets of hands take my arms and lead me out the door to the students parking lot. 

I was surprised they knew which car was mine, the nice and ugly red neon that only a teen would drive. I blinked and looked at both of them, from Spike [who was having no problems in the sun] to Remy who was currently lighting up a cigarette.

"Okay…why are you two torturing me? I mean hello, your supposed to be my muses and have you done anything…noooooooo. The only thing you two are good at is driving me mad." I stated throwing my backpack into the back of my car, guess I was skipping the rest of the day. 

"Hey, come on give us two blokes a chance. We just started this job, and we didn't much have a choice in the matter either." Spike explained to me.

"What do you mean?" I questioned swinging my car keys around my little finger out of boredom. Stupid insanity.

"Well, both of us are phantoms of the original uh…character. We were created strictly to be muses, both picked out personally for you by some weird guy named uh…"

"Jim Bob." Remy stated for Spikes lack of remembering names.

"Yeah, Jim Bob chose us as your personal muses meaning that we have to stick around you at all times, and when we don't, well we go to training. That's where we were, with a lot of other muses, learning the tricks of the trade so to speak. So now we are ready to help you." 

Tricks of the trade? What kind of tricks did muses have? I blinked and shrugged then got in my car. Remy and Spike both stayed where they were standing. I rolled down my window and started up the car.

"Well you're my muses right?"

They both nodded.

"Then get in the damned car…we're going to write some fan fiction."


End file.
