Harry Potter Letters between Enemies

**Letters between Enemies **

_**This was just a stupid idea i wanted to try out.**_

_**I don't own anyone or any place in here. This is all J.K.Rowlings.**  
_

_

* * *

_

_12th October 1996_

_Dear Tom Riddle,_

_I am most displeased with having to write to you but my professors though it would be a good idea for us to learn from our elders and so we have to start up a correspondence. They each told us to pick a name from a hat and the person we picked we had to write to. Why on earth your name was in there I will never know. Anyway back to what I have to talk about. I have some questions. What years did you start Hogwarts? What is your happiest time from Hogwarts? What was your favorite subject and why? I hope you can reply._

_Harry Potter_

_P.S This is not my idea._

_P.P.S Don't kill the bird. It isn't mine._

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

**_13th October 1996_**

_**Dear Harry Potter,**_

_**I was most surprised to hear from you. Dumbledore had sent me a message about the project a few days before asking me to at least be nice. Nice? Me? I think Dumbledore has a few loose nuts. Anyway on with the questions. I started Hogwarts in 1937. My happiest memory was when I how Salestra. I was very distressed when I found that you had killed her. My favorite subject was charms. It was so easy. I hope this helps you with your questions.**_

_**Lord Voldermort.**_

_**P.S If you ever call me Tom Riddle again I will curse every letter I send.**_

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_19th October 1996_

_Dear Lord Voldermort,_

_I am deeply sorry about killing Salestra. In my defense let me say that she was trying to kill me at the time. If you really want to blame someone, blame Malfoy. He was the one who gave Ginny the dairy. I really don't want to go to potions today, but if I don't Snape will make my life even more horrid. So are you planning anything interesting tonight? I'm going to be stuck with potions homework. I just know it._

_Harry Potter_

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

**_19th October 1996_**

**_Dear Harry, _**

**_I can understand why you don't like potions. Snape is a very moody and grouchy guy. Every time we have a Death Eater Party or excursion, he always sits by the punch bowl scowling. Take last Friday for example; we decided to go to the movies to see the new Wallace & Gromit movie. After we went to MacDonald's for ice cream, Snape complained about the ice cream being runny AND criticized the movie. Tonight we were planning on raiding a muggle pub. It's Bellatix's Birthday._**

**_Lord Voldermort_**

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_20th October 1996_

_Dear V_

_Sorry 'bout the name but I don't think it'll be a good idea for me to put down you name when my friends have an annoying habit of reading my mail. Please wish Bellatix a Happy Birthday from me for yesterday. Also tell her that I am sorry for trying to curse her last year. I'm afraid I was a bit upset about just loosing my godfather. Hope the raid went well._

_Harry_

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_**20th October 1996**_

_**boy-with-a-death-wish-if-he-keeps-up-with-the-stupid-names,**_

_**I completely understand. I have the same problem with my DE. Normally I just curse them. It's a good way of getting rid of stress. You should try it sometime. Bellatix says that she too is sorry 'bout the whole 'making Sirius fall though the veil' thing. We didn't mean for him to come. We only wanted you to arrive. We never expected you to bring your friends. The raid when well. The party was a rager! We spiked the punch! I'll send you some photos! Snape was so paro it was not funny! After about 2 cups he was singing along to the music, after 4 he was dancing in his corner. He's gonna have one hell of a hangover today! Hope he doesn't take it out on you. If he does let me know.**_

_**Anything-is-better-then-V**_

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_25th October 1996_

_One-who-likes-__putting-hyphens-in-names._

_Today Dumbledore announced that the correspondence would finish in 2 days. While it has being fun talking to you I still find it weird talking to a guy who wants to kill me. No offence. Thanks for the photo's! I got them all enlarged and placed them in the Great Hall! It was wonderful! You should have seen Snape's face when he entered! Even McGonagall was laughing! I managed to bribe a guy a year younger then me to take photos! Hope you like them! Maybe you should show them to your DE's at your next get together! If you do I want photo's of Snape's' reaction!_

_Well better go and hide the evidence! Snape wants to murder the person responsible!_

_Boy-with-perfect-blackmail-that's-playing-with-fire!_

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_**26th October 1996**_

_**Boy-with-perfect-blackmail-that's-playing-with-fire!**_

_**I must admit it is a bit strange talking to you, but I will miss our little convocations. I decided to send the photos to all my DE's! Hopefully throughout the day certain students will have copies! In all my time at Hogwarts I never saw McGonagall smile. She was in my year. She was really annoying to work with too. I hated the fact she was head girl. But did you know that she had a crush on one of our teachers! Next time you have her ask her about professor McLaren. He was our Care of Magical Creatures teacher. Every time he asked her a question she would blush and couldn't string two words together! **_

_**Well I must go… people to kill, places to rule**_

_**Secret-spiller-of-women-with-no-lives.**_

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_27th October 1996_

_Secret-spiller-of-women-with-no-lives._

_That my dear world taker-overer was bloody brilliant. She went bright red and started stuttering. She reminded me of Quirrell! She demanded to know who told me about him and I told her it was the secret-spiller of 1933! She sent me to Dumbledore! What a perfect day! When class had finished my friend Ron wanted to get you name so that he could get some blackmail! Hermione just scowled and said it wasn't funny. This coming from a girl who fell for Lockhart in our 2nd year._

_I'm afraid the correspondence has finished. It was nice getting to know you. Don't think this changes anything. All the best._

_Boy-who-is-talking-with a-guy-who-what's-to-kill-him._

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

_**27th October 1996**_

_**Boy-who-is-talking-with a-guy-who-what's-to-kill-him.**_

_**Indeed it was nice getting to know you. Oh and Harry… I wouldn't have it any other way! I heard about Lockhart. Stupid git. Sometimes I felt like going to his house while he had company to see whether he:**_

_**a) Wet himself,**_

_**B) Ran away crying **_

_**Or c) Accidentally blew himself up by mistake. **_

_**I myself was hoping for a combination of all three!**_

_**Well now that this is over I guess I should start sending you dreams again. Sleep well.**_

_**Guy-who-likes-to-make-people-cry.**_

_**

* * *

Like i said before. This is just for a laugh. I'm not very happy with it though... any ideas to make it better would be welcomed. **_


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor