Kung Fu Panda, Sonic the Hedgehog 1. Blizzard the Cat vs Kiro Takimuro

**Hey everyone! Welcome to my first battle of the story! In this little book of battles, I'm doing rap battles between Kung Fu Panda (original characters and my OCs) and Sonic the Hedgehog (original characters and my OCs). Once I've done all the characters I wish to do, I'll move on to a new book containing two different storylines, and so on and so on until people get disinterested or I've decided to end it.**

**Note:**** This is rated T for some language. I'll try not to put any F bombs into this book. If you're like, "well that character would never say something like that!", just relax. It's supposed to be for fun and I have to make some stuff rhyme, right?**

**Enjoy!**

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Kung Fu Panda OC vs. Sonic the Hedgehog OC_

_Kiro Takimuro vs. Blizzard the Cat_

_BEGIN!_

Blizzard

There's a difference between you and me,

Kiro

I fought and beat the baddie,

Kiro

I wasn't captured, tortured, and I'm not a psychotic tiger,

Weirdo

How the hell did you lose to one dude?

You got shot by your own student. Crude!

You've been stabbed and dipped in fire.

Survived! Unlikely! An immortal tiger?

You've had so many fake deaths

That they put the audience to rest!

You better give up, kitty cat, 'cause I am the best!

You flunked, dude! This is your test!

Up until your last breath,

Kiro

You had a Disney death,

Kiro

While your kids ran rampant you stood by and watched them idly like

Nero

Your jokes are lame and are getting dumb

Why don't ya go back to being a bum?

My jokes are hot, but I'm ice cold!

The puns I make will never get old!

A jokester when I'm wanted! A badass when needed!

Take notes on being a hero! Here's my story! Go on, read it!

* * *

Kiro

Blizzard, huh? Like the Dairy Queen treat?

How can you be badass when you're named after a sweet?

I'm Kiro, son! The name strikes fear!

Blizzard just gives people a chilly rear.

You control some bits of ice and flakes of snow?

How'd you get your powers? No one knows!

I don't need special abilities to win a fight.

Hand me my staffs and you'll be out like a light!

Every joke you make, it came from me!

But your fans are too damn blind to see

How much of a copier you can truly be.

I am the Asian MC!

I'm a tiger! I roar like thunder!

I bring fury and pain asunder!

Your little meow scares no one.

Try coming back from that. Have fun!

* * *

Blizzard

You wanna know how you win fights so easy?

Look at your staffs! They came from DC!

Those are made from Green Lantern and Nightwing!

How did you not notice when you looked at those things?

As for joke telling? Ha! I'll freeze your ass!

Some of them are obscene! You have no class!

My laughs are funnier and clean.

I'm sorry, I hope I don't come off as mean!

Sike! You better toughen up, tidy-whitey,

Or I'll make you go nighty-nighty.

You couldn't last one day as me!

My whole entire life I had to freeze.

Guess what, though? It was all cool.

Now step back, Sonic. Let me finish this fool.

Get ready, Kiro. I'm gonna give you a decker.

Leave the rapping to me, and stick to Chinese Checkers.

* * *

Kiro

I'd gladly trade lives with you any day of the week!

The shit I've been through wasn't for the weak!

Parents died and homeless for years,

But I survived those times. Cheers!

Master betrayed me and my team got offed.

Through these issues, I wasn't soft.

Thrown in jail and girlfriend dead,

But through all this I kept a cool head.

Before I could commit any more sins,

I was kidnapped in the night by my crazy cousin!

Dragged to Japan and tortured for days.

Lost my sight and went into a daze!

My real dad was the emperor there.

He killed my brother. That wasn't fair!

Turned out he was always a giant dick!

Almost turned my sister, Tigress, into a prick!

Don't mention all the times I almost died!

The first time it happened, people almost cried!

I was invincible, son, but a bullet took me down.

But I'm still king, boy! Hand me my crown!

Now that I've appeased the reader

Why don't you go crawl back in your freezer?

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_ANOTHER BATTLE APPROACHES! PREPARE!_


	2. Knuckles the Echidna vs Master Tigress

_Previous battle result according to the reviews: TIE (2 to 2)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda!_

_Knuckles the Echidna vs. Tigress!_

_BEGIN!_

Knuckles

I'm Knuckles the Echidna

And I ain't gonna kid ya

When I say I'll kick your ass all the way from here to Kenya.

Your moves are cheap and I could buy 'em for a dime,

But my fighting's so sick it should be a crime!

A guardian in the first. Kick-ass in the third.

Why's your face so contorted? Are ya gonna lay a turd?

This fight's the worst amount of time I ever spent!

Face off against a tiger that's got anger management.

You're stone cold to all, well, except for a panda.

You think that sack of shit's the only one who understands ya.

A short little master taught you all that you know,

But I'm self-taught, Tigress. You can't beat me, hoe!

Oops! I'm sorry! Don't go all Tyrannosaurus Rex!

I forgot you're the only one who'll never have sex!

You've heard about half of what I've brought,

But I'll be a good guy and we'll see what you got.

* * *

Tigress

An anteater, huh? You belong in a zoo.

You rap and fight well, but I'll still bury you.

You're confused with women and don't know what to do.

Which girlfriend is yours? Rouge or Julie-Su?

If Sonic hadn't come you'd still be guarding a gem.

Your life was made better all because of them.

I'll beat you so hard you'll be down on the ground.

You better get ready for a tiger-sized pound.

After that I'll call in the Furious Five

And when they're done, you'd wish you were never alive.

As for Po, I find him likeable, per say.

Found some Rule 34 that said you were gay.

Did I hit a sore spot? Falling from your mouth I see foam.

While you do that, I'll go save my home.

I am the deadliest, most vicious tiger around

And I'll take you out without making a sound.

So while you go give your friends a worthless pep rally,

I'll stay behind and protect my valley.

* * *

Knuckles

Is that all you got? You didn't hurt me!

You fight okay, but you rap really dirty!

I mean Rule 34? They have internet in old China?

Stupid! Illogical! Didn't anyone tell ya?

As for Rouge and Julie-Su, well I'll tell you somethin', Miss.

That proves I have girls wanting to get some of this.

At least I have friends and I'm not a so-called "loner."

Stop trying to look cute! You give no guy a boner!

Your adoring fans are the dumbest people on earth!

They think that the panda'll get with you and you'll give birth!

Interspecies is a no-no, so screw on your lid!

Even if it did happen, Po's so big, he'd have the kid!

You're really angry and you've got a lot of sass,

So why don't you loosen up and take that pole outa your ass!

* * *

Tigress

I won't interfere with what you think or believe,

But I WILL win this fight. I've got some things up my sleeve.

Interspecies is a no-no, huh? What about you and the bat?

You low life, stupid, hypocritical rat.

The Dragon Warrior's a better fighter than you'll ever be.

Just wait until he sits on you and then you will see.

My fans all know I kick some serious butt,

And I'm about to beat you in front of the readers. Uncut.

I don't try to act cute. That shit is for naught,

But I can't help it if people think that I'm hot.

You beat Mephiles but it won't go well,

When I bang-a-rang you straight down to Hell.

I've thrown this assault of strength at you.

Watch my two-fingered pushups. Kung F-U.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_ANOTHER BATTLE APPROCHES! NEXT UP: Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Tai Lung_


	3. Blizzard the Cat vs Kiro Takimuro 2

**Correction: Shadow vs. Tai Lung will be the battle following this one. Instead, here's a rematch. Enjoy!**

_Previous battle winner: Tigress (4 to 1)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION: REMATCH!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog OC vs. Kung Fu Panda OC_

_Blizzard the Cat vs. Kiro Takimuro!_

_BEGIN!_

Blizzard

Rematch, BITCH! Ready for round two?

When it's all said and done there won't be much left of you!

Again I'll take on this so called "Hero of China;"

No shoes and no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya!

A white tiger who's just misunderstood.

Fight me and get a swift kick to your man hood!

Your wife is an ugly old mountain lion hag!

While you were out saving China I showed her my icicle bag!

I'm the better cat and every person knows it!

I'll knock you out with just one measly hit.

You're tightly knit and are throwing a fit

While I tear you down, bit by bit!

Your heroics deeds are pieces of shit!

I'm beating you now, so ya might as well quit!

I'll jokingly and verbally bury you slowly.

Your actions are that of something unholy!

You're not heroic! You're selfish and endanger everyone's life!

Why don't you leave your boyfriend Po and go home to your wife?

* * *

Kiro

I'm don't date guys because I only like your mother.

Why don't you and Mute go back to making out with each other?

I thought I finished you off a little while back,

But I guess you didn't learn, so here I come to attack!

I'll whip out my staffs and summon my best rocket cart,

And slam sour raps out of you, which are worse than a fart.

Heh. Mine, though, are a work of art.

I'm wondering, though, did this battle ever start?

I spit raps that are cooler than your armpit stains,

Yet you think you can beat me. Have you gone insane?

You'll die alone with no friends and no one to love,

And you're naïve if you think you're going to that place above.

I'm a heroic, unofficial, professional rap wizard

Who'll whip your ass with my staffs. Watch out, Blizzard!

Your home will fall to chaos, but I don't think you can stop that!

Go back to being Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat, ya brat.

* * *

Blizzard

I'm giving you a warning, Kiro. I suggest you head it.

My friend, Mute, only comes around…

* * *

Mute

…When I'm needed.

You dare insult me? I'll put a bullet in your head.

Before you even hit the ground, you'd already be dead.

I'm an ex-soldier, expired many years ago.

Cast out in the tundra with the freezing ice and snow!

But you wouldn't know a thing about that. Would you? No!

Step forward, locked and loaded, and I'm ready to go!

I can't call you an enemy. You'd be my weakest foe.

But that doesn't mean I'll let you win, though!

Blizzard, let's beat this guy, lickety split.

I'll take it from here. Wait, where'd you go? Aw, dammit.

* * *

Blizzard

As you can see, Kiro, I've got help from everywhere.

I'll put you through Hell; all that wear and tear.

I'll knock you off into the depths of outer space.

I'll even eliminate the whole white tiger race.

This'll be the last time that we'll ever face.

I bring honor to my faction; you only bring disgrace.

* * *

Kiro

Your raps are so poor you had to call in help?

HA! Two can play at that game. I'll just yelp

For my good dead friend, who also happens to be my bro.

Hey, brother! Come here! Yeah! Sato!

* * *

Sato

I'm back from back from the grave

Just to make you my slave!

I'll cuff and shackle ya

No matter how much you rave.

A threat to Japan? You're a threat to none!

Now step aside, fools, and I'll show ya how it's done.

What made you think you could beat us? I have no idea!

Your raps are less complex than a chair from IKEA!

Combined, we're more of a threat than a stupid T-Rex.

Your voices are more annoying than a song from Skrillex!

Just back on up before I use my power swords.

I'll hide your bodies underneath my wooden floor boards!

Oh, and one more thing before I go.

It's about that arctic fox. You know, bro?

I got a secret about your girl whose name was Freeze.

She showed me a nice time. Man, what a tease!

* * *

Kiro

Don't try to call in backup when you're getting beat.

That kind of stuff just makes ya look really weak.

As for disgrace? I bring fans! Followers galore!

I'm so funny I leave people begging for more!

If we had an election of who's funnier, I'd have more votes!

Even though I'm a dead hero, you should still take notes.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Prepare! Next: Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Tai Lung_


	4. Shadow The Hedgehog vs Tai Lung

_Previous battle winner: Blizzard (5 to 2)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs Kung Fu Panda_

_Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Tai Lung_

_BEGIN!_

Tai Lung

You made the wrong mistake entering this leopard's lair,

And now I'll rip you apart, starting with your emo hair.

Also people ship you and Sonic and they write on FanFiction

That you two are a gay couple and you ride on his diction!

Your quills aren't the only thing that makes you a prick!

Your phony badass attitude makes me wanna be sick!

Low voice and mostly black; a heroic dark male.

It's like you're the animal version of Batman played Christian Bale!

The "Ultimate Life Form?" Ha! You were beat in a snap.

History'll repeat itself and you will eat my rap!

Get on your haunches and kiss my ass!

While I teach you how a villain obtains class!

Think you can beat me? Lay of the "grass."

You committed villainy but then took a pass

To be a hero! In real life, they almost never win!

I'll destroy you, your friends and even your next of kin.

* * *

Shadow

Nice parachute pants there, ya 80's hippie.

You must've traveled forward in time. Man that's "trippy."

If you do Kung-Fu then I got a question:

Why does it look like your belt is from wrestlin'?

You only got one movie that you were in,

But I appear in several games and books. You can't win!

I'll enlighten you with this: now don't you see?

I've got games and comic books featuring me.

And all my stories are packed tightly as can be

In a big dick bibliography.

You got beat by a panda and an old Asian turtle

Never had kids. Might wanna see if you're infertile.

I got shipped with a bat too, forget about that?

Plus you're also shipped with a panda that's fat.

I'm a nightwatcher, a dark hero, plus a rap legend too.

I'll forever be better than the likes of you.

* * *

Tai Lung

Oh now I got you mad. Oh what do I do?

That's right, I'll just Kung-Fu stomp on you.

I catch a flow and get goin'

Show no remorse and no knowin'

What I'll be doin' in order to break you.

I can easily predict this battle's outcome.

And of course I'll win against a moody little bum.

I'm a martial arts god! You dare not face me!

Or slap the black off you and make you all pasty.

* * *

Shadow

While you do your little twirls and dances,

You'll be caught in my crosshairs, doin' your prances.

Zoom in on my target and suck in a breath

And the pull the trigger. Pow! You meet your death.

I'll brutally tear down China's evil side

Like a damn rap apartheid

I'd say your best options are to run or to hide.

So sayonara, bitch.

Your win is denied.

_Who won?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_Another battle approaches! Next up: Miles "Tails" Prower vs. Crane_


	5. Mephiles the Dark vs Lord Shen

**Warning: Unscheduled opponents approaching. New contestants.**

_SURPRISE RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Previous Winner: Shadow (2 to 1)_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda_

_Lord Shen vs. Mephiles the Dark!_

_BEGIN!_

Shen

You've got eyes of a crack addict, yes it's true

And I have had it! Enough with you!

My doomsday machine will take you down

And destroy this pathetic little clown!

This calm, cool villain will drop a rap bomb

And make this little sissy run home to his mom.

Feathers of color and nerves of steel

Will make you squeal and before me kneel!

I'm a nightmare to all! I surprise! I shock!

I put the damn dick in the word peacock!

I have a whole army plus a navy too!

Don't stand in my way! I thought you knew!

How can you talk without a mouth?

That game you were in went horribly south.

And you can clone yourself all over the place?

Well, no one wants to see more of your whack-ass face.

* * *

Mephiles

Doomed! Ha! You're gonna die

With no one to love you and no one to cry!

You'll be awake with regret on your breath

As you mourn and suffer and pray for your death.

I will unleash the Flames of Disaster.

You'll be my servant and I'll be your master.

Your raps are as dull and as boring as plaster!

In order to beat me you have to rap faster!

You're a dumbass pigeon who made some mistakes

And killed all the pandas, which sealed your fate!

I can manipulate and travel through time

And I will now be kicking your ass with rhyme!

You wiped out thousands throughout the lands

And now you have innocent blood on your hands!

I commend you for that, but now don't you see?

You'll never be on the same level as me!

I'll unleash Hell on earth and watch you churn

While you helplessly watch your damn empire burn.

* * *

Shen

You're raps aren't scary

And you can bite me!

This'll be my final decree!

Your videogame only got bad talk

'Cause there's nothing badass about a villain made of rocks!

That ship with Elise and Sonic was hated a lot

Combined with the voice acting and horrible plot!

You have to keep your plan straight. You have it commit!

You couldn't keep your pawns in place! You hit it and quit it!

My name and raps will haunt you for eternity!

You just got your ass whipped by a badass birdie!

* * *

Mephiles

I'm about to skin a peacock and make it into a rug.

A group of eight beat you and your army of thugs!

You're the shittiest villain anyone could ever be!

That on top of being a horrible emcee!

I control the chaos! Bend it to my will!

If only I could force it to give you more skill!

I'm killing it! You're krillin' it! I'm hellish on vegetables!

Who Judo chop others and hide their tiny genitals!

I devoured you and your raps like a Tiger shark.

Remember my name: Mephiles the Dark.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Miles "Tails" Prower vs. Crane_


	6. Tails vs Master Crane

_Previous battle winner: Mephiles (4 to frickin' 0…wow)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda!_

_Miles "Tails" Prower vs. Master Crane!_

_BEGIN!_

Crane

A battle of the wits! A mano a mano!

This artistic genius master against this little piece of guano!

The ancient prodigy of the music and arts

Will beat this little pip squeak who makes tunes with his farts!

And we're honored to train under someone who's as ruthless as Shifu is

But when your team fights a villain it's like the clash of the douches!

I control the wind! I'm the master of the skies!

Dear god you stink, Master of the Flies.

It'll be interesting to hear you rap with a high voice.

I suggest you give up now, but you don't have a choice.

Other than being annoying, what do you give to the team?

You can't even defeat me! I'm more than I seem.

Foxes eat birds, but this'll be the other way around.

Like a tall blade of grass, you'll be swiftly cut down!

My raps against yours have a higher mass!

I just mathematically kicked your ass.

* * *

Tails

You call those rhymes? I'll give ya a lesson.

You're not a master, just a cheap little delicatessen.

And I'm an excellent rapper. Are you visually impaired?

I put the MC in E=MC squared!

You just crane your neck back into your little hole!

While I chop down your comrades! Population control!

I invent tools and tricks to help my friends!

You're struggling to rap and to meet some ends.

I'm Alpha dog dominant! You can't beat me!

I'll kill ya intellectually with my Ph.D.!

And yeah, I drop science! And I got the mathematics!

This child prodigy is a rap addict!

But my friends and I will beat you blow for blow

And we'll do upon your dick what villain's should've long ago!

So I suggest you pipe down, Dr. Doolittle!

You do what you do. I'll go learn to play the fiddle.

* * *

Crane

Oh HELL no! You won't beat this bird master!

I'll be like your butt buddy Sonic and go a little faster!

You think a bunch of complicated words will make you the winner?

Well I'll use my rhymes and serve you like dinner!

You're a two-tailed furry who's an Einstein wannabe!

When you're actually a sassy piece of shit that's covered in fleas!

I'll rain hell on you; I won't make it a drizzle!

I wouldn't touch you with a six-foot chisel!

* * *

Tails

I'll assess this situation from all angles.

I've decided to leave you mangled after you've been strangled!

Sonic's like my brother, you little birdie bitch!

I'll annihilate your team and bury you in a ditch!

Why don't you make a sculpture of you getting chewed up by me?

And calculate how threatening I can truly be!

Your future compared to mine is dark and diminished!

I'll forever be smarter than you! You're finished!

_WHO WON?!_

_WHO'S NEXT?_

_You decide!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Master Viper vs. Amy Rose_


	7. Amy Rose vs Master Viper

_Previous battle winner: Tails (4 to 2)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda!_

_Amy Rose vs. Master Viper!_

_BEGIN!_

Amy

How dare you think you can step up to the queen?

You think you're a serpent? I'm just as mean!

You're scaly all over! You've never dated a guy.

Are you a Kung-Fu master or a Japanese hentai?

I've got a mallet that's just as long as you are.

Feel blessed that I've aloud you to make it this far.

You think this is bad? Well, it'll just get worse.

I'll skin you alive and make you into a purse!

A fangless little twat trying to make a name

By going head-to-head in this little rap game.

So go eat a rat before I crush ya

Like what happened to China with Communist Russia!

* * *

Viper

I mean I'll let you go first, but damn sure I'm getting' licks in

On this pink fangirling hedgehog who's a pre-pubescent vixen.

You look and sound like a man, although I'm sure you play with dolls

And insult me again and I'll hit ya right in the balls.

You're what passes for a hero? Wow, that's sad!

You got more facial hair than the guy from Breaking Bad.

I've got tons of fighting moves; you've just got a hammer!

And when it comes to looks, I've got all the glamor.

So after I'm done there'll be a tragedy

Like you ached Sonic's balls on your balcony!

Why don't you put your money where your mouth is

Or I'll spit sick like a plague on both your houses!

* * *

Amy

Is that all, bitch? I'll leave your rhymes rot.

I'm not finished yet! I'll show ya what I got!

My raps are like fat stacks! M-o-n-e-y!

Decapitate your ass and then make an alibi.

Go tell your boyfriend Crane to call up this Rose

For a good time. But wait! He already knows.

So I suggest that you start to pick up the slack

Before I kill ya off put your head on a plaque.

* * *

Viper

I'll be sure to yank out all your Rose thorns

And send you back to prostitution! Take the bull by the horns.

So call up Crane, huh? Putting out for free?

I don't think he'd want to contract HIV.

Besides, you smell like fish. No guy would touch thee.

Go back to your home, in the Chinese Sea!

So now I'll choke you until you're the color denim.

So beware of the Viper's strike! I spit this shit like venom.

_WHO WON?_

_You decide!_

_Another battle approaches! Next up: Blaze the Cat vs. Takami Skyfang (OC)_


	8. Mute the Hedgehog vs Wolf Boss

**Warning: Unscheduled opponents approaching. New contestants.**

_SURPRISE RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Pervious winner: TIE (1 to 1. Really? Only two votes?)_

_Sonic the Hedgehog OC vs. Kung Fu Panda_

_Mute the Hedgehog vs. Wolf Boss_

_BEGIN!_

Mute

Lay low and watch the skies.

I've faced worse when I'm swatting flies!

So step right up! You're the next to die.

You may have set the bar, but I set it high.

I'm like a ghost that you can never exorcise

And now that I'm here, you're gonna exercise

Your legs and thighs 'til your out of breath and die,

Cuz I'm a rhyming king that was elected by

The best of the best. Check every life that I

Have ever taken with my gun and one single rhyme.

You better get your friends' girls anesthetized

Because they'll need it after I wreck you guys!

When I'm in a firefight, I keep rocking steady.

RPG by my side, cuz I keep my weapons heavy!

I'm all about that one shot, one kill

And if that doesn't end your life, my Glock sure will.

There'll be blood all over your nasty paws.

Can't wait until I can drop some MAAWS.

Can you beat me, ya pathetic canine?

You can R-I-P with my P99!

* * *

Wolf Boss

I can whip out my mallet like its hammer time

And drop this guy, just like another crime.

Or we can draw our swords and watch this imposter cry.

Show no mercy. Time to straight fillet this guy!

I'm the boss of an army. I'm in my own class.

Everybody lines up just to kiss my ass!

The wolf army gets riches out of rags.

Twenty yuan for every seven body bags.

Give your fancy weapons a big ol' pass

Cuz when life gives me lemons, I kick it in the ass.

I'll make sure this hedgehog is gonna get canned

Cuz you don't wanna see the cards in my hand.

Decked out with a metal crossbow and arrow.

I don't need a mag! I can bring my own ammo!

Invincible with my metal head-to-toe camo.

You can never burn me out. I'm like a VOLCANO!

We're done. I'll snuff you out like yoy are a blown candle

After I rip your front door off BY THE FRICKIN' HANDLE!

* * *

Mute

Stomp you into the rock that I'm walkin' on.

Top it off with a couple quad rocket shots.

Uppercut to the jaw oughtta shut ya up.

Hey. I'm your worst nightmare. 'Sup?

Heads up! Better hit the floor

Cuz when my team drops, it's time for war.

Slaughtering baddies is what I love.

Drop a bomb from the sky. Death from above.

I'm angry now. Ya better watch out punk

Cuz I'm always in the mood to turn your army to junk!

I'm runnin' and gunnin'. Enemies can get at me.

I'm always ready for when things turn nasty!

Kick to the leg! Uppercut to the chin!

Knife to the gut and I'll bash your head in.

* * *

Wolf Boss

I'm a damn monster—RAH!

Good luck trynna lock me up.

You can pray that you won't rot

But I'm here and your backup's not.

If you're prepared to die, then simply raise your hands

I'm calling you out like brought-up-on-propaganda Aryans.

Cuz when I'm through with you, you will barely stand

And killin' you will be my one and final last demand.

From Hell I've been sent to fight on another level

Possess omnipotence and fight like the devil.

Whatever I do will make you seem shallow

No matter where you step, you're standing in my shadow.

You like to talk an awful lot

But you're ugly as a rock

So submit to my plot

Or be forced to suck my—

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Blaze the Cat vs. Takami Skyfang (OC)_


	9. Blaze the Cat vs Takami Skyfang

_Previous winner: TIE (3 to 3. A dude PM'd me his vote instead of reviewing it)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda OC_

_Blaze the Cat vs. Takami Skyfang_

_BEGIN!_

Takami

Get back, cheap hoe

While I drop the down low.

People in this valley know

That this time I'm no hero.

Check yo' ego.

This won't be easy bro!

I'll swiftly crush this zero

Under my fat stacks of green dough.

So knock, knock! It's Takami!

Drop a bomb like Nagasaki!

When I'm cooled down I'm pretty clever.

But when I'm not? Well, never.

Fire water on my breath.

Don't give a damn when I bring death.

Burn the ground under my feet.

And incinerate all your streets.

Fireball in my hand.

You're about to get canned.

Wield flames of fury when I'm fightin'.

Ask the ladies, cuz they're likin'.

You and me? That ain't right.

That won't be a fair fight.

I'll leave you in a body bag.

Trust me, air-tight.

* * *

Blaze

Really? You picked a sixteen year-old to face me?

A child who looks like shit and smells like pee?

I'm an actual character! You're a made-up idea!

You're pathetic origin story is equal to diarrhea!

This is the big time, kid. I'm spittin' fire and flames

While you're stuck at home playing E video games.

You're a threat! A monster! A brute and a beast!

Grow a pair and actually insult me, at least!

Your look is awful! Your fighting threats are dank.

The only time you beat is when it's for a wank!

Come on, little buddy! Don't look so pissed!

An actual fire-wielder is having you dissed.

Your little fire flame? I've seen candles burn brighter!

I could one-up your fireballs with a drug store lighter.

You're a terrible leader, trained by an furious bitch!

Her angry down under has a seven year itch.

With your spikey hair, you could be in Dragon Ball Z!

Well bring it, Takami. You can Dragon Ball Deez!

Well swing batter-batter! Let's see what a sadder rapper can do

When he meets Blaze the Cat. This day, he will rue!

* * *

Takami

I'm not a monster or beast by any means

But I'll burn you at the steak and tear you at the seams.

While I do this, no one will hear your screams

As I crush you like I did evil Chinese regimes.

You were horrid in '06 and were worse after that.

I bet you bang more dudes than Rouge the Bat!

I'll promise you that this big cat will step up to combat

This bilge rat who tried to step up on the mat

To face me, and soon I'll make sure that she'll go splat

Once I flick her aside like a gross fat gnat.

I just incinerated this wimp! How do ya like that?

You sure put the pussy into the cat.

* * *

Blaze

No need to get angry and throw a little fit.

I'll light you up and then 420 Blaze it.

Then grind you into the ground like the trash that you are.

Hit you below the belt, 'cause that's where you set the bar.

Now I'll fix that bar and I'll set it high

And now that I'm on track, you're gonna exercise

Your legs and thighs until you're outta breath and die,

Because this solar-flared cat his beat every guy!

I got Silver, Sonic and Shadow by my side.

Your only help is your ugly girl, and that's for a ride.

I've got a head of fire. You've got a head of cabbage.

After this battle, call me Blaze the Savage.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Rouge the Bat vs. The Croc Bandits_


	10. Rouge the Bat vs The Croc Bandits

Previous battle winner: TIE (3 to 3. Seriously, from now on, PM'd votes will NOT count. Only votes written in the reviews)

RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!

Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda

Rouge the Bat vs. The Croc Bandits

BEGIN!

Rouge

I'm as quick to pick your pocket

As I am to pick your lock and

Slip into your picture perfect world just to piss it off.

A lot of tricks up my sleeve. Yes, I mean to rip you off.

I leave a lot of empty wallets, all away from which I walk.

If you are rich enough, then you ought to listen up!

I'll be quickly stripping you of every single frill and pomp.

Just because you're another name upon the list I got

Doesn't mean that for every penny, I haven't fought.

You'll know who hit you when I leave my mark.

You will never catch this vigilante in the dark.

I'll never let go of my inner klepto

Cuz I've been one ever since the get-go.

I hide in darkness. I've come to creep in.

To steal is no sin. It's just my reason.

Now I'll vanish into the night and leave these fools that're sobbin'.

Don't call me Robin Hood, because I'm only good at robbin'.

* * *

Fung

I'm the leader of Irwin, Gahri and Wall Eye.

Don't forget Lidong and Wong, the small guy.

We'll obliterate this bat into the night sky

And steal her precious treasure by tip-toeing by!

You use trickery and manipulation to get your jewels.

We're the better thieves! What'd you take us for? Fools?

Yeah, she's a mighty magnet. Smell a dollar bill in your clothes.

A gold digger-size from my head to my toes.

And she's lookin' for a prize!

Man, people kill me! Acting like they don't see the dollar size in your eyes.

Hypnotized by the good looks? Yeah, maybe!

But a victim for a good crook? Nope! Not me!

We're better rappers and thieves, not pathetic noobs!

Besides, your raps are just as fake as your boobs.

* * *

Rouge

Just as I suspected, you all are dumb as rocks.

I guess that's what I get for facing six crocs.

You'll never understand the price of infamous fame

Until you treat life like crime's just a game.

When I go breaking and entering, it's all the same!

Steal some gold, spit a bar and amidst will rise a flame!

I'm an outcast, but nobody owns me.

I work alone, but never call me lonely.

When it comes to thievery, you're too slow.

Stealing is an art, so call me Picasso!

* * *

Fung

Oh comrades, are we psycho

To face a thief addicted to lipo?

Who's face looks like it's made of brass

And who's got an artificial ass?

Ha! Nobody's as fast as me!

I clear rooftop gaps so rapidly!

I mean, I practically defy gravity.

I guess runnin' from the law comes naturally!

My squad'll get rich

When we bury this bitch

And we'll rob her grave without getting a stitch!

Pass the champagne and fill me a cup

Cuz we just shut this wannabe up.

_WHO WON? _

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Blaze the Cat vs. Takami Skyfang REMATCH_


	11. Blaze the Cat vs Takami Skyfang 2

Previous battle winner: Rouge the Bat (3 to 1)

RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION: REMATCH!

Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda

Takami Skyfang vs. Blaze the Cat

*For the first time ever, another author has joined! Takami's rap is written by the owner: SpiritualLoneWolf! I wrote Blaze's rap. Check Spiritual's profile out! Now…TO BATTLE!*

BEGIN!

Takami

As far as martial arts goes, I'm the best to ever do it.

Feelin' sorry for this purple cat; I'm about to put her through it.

Half lion, half tiger, but a full blooded BEAST!

A monster on the training field and this kitty is my feast.

I'm spittin' shit for no one, I don't need a mentor.

Blaze is just a house cat and… yeah that's all you're meant for.

Travel forward twenty years if you wanna do this again!

I'll meet you AND Silver, and do a hell-fire spin!

You can't fight fire with fire, so I'll drown you with flow!

Spittin' disses in waves, a lyrical water flow.

This kitty here's gotta go! Showing my new revengance,

And yeah this fight was over before I started my sentence.

I'm sorta supernatural but I'll put you super lateral.

Knock out that Silver punk and I hope he gets collateral!

* * *

Blaze

Takami, you're a typical ratty-ass brat.

You haven't really dissed me once in your crappy battle rap.

My pyrokinesis will tear you to pieces with scorches and torches and fire!

When I'm madder than Hatter there is no one badder then me to make your future seem dire!

Someone let this cat out the bag, but now it's time to stuff his face.

Throw his ass back into the sack and hold him 'til he suffocates!

You always hang with snitches and bitches, that by the way have the itches,

But bring your crew to me and I'll give you all stitches!

The heat is getting high! Can you feel it, guy?

Flames shooting up so fast that they light up the sky!

But then the volcano explodes,

And lava fills your roads

While I just stand by and rip your loads!

I'm better than you. You can't talk the talk!

I fought crime long before you could even walk!

* * *

Takami

Ruler of the underground, hellfire gangster!

Another win for Koken, so little (beep), I gotta thank ya.

You're messing with the best, level higher than the rest of 'em.

Never met a challenger or obstacle that has bested him.

One of the many started out as an orphan in an orphanage!

Locked up and tested to see if I can break the doors in.

Gettin' real bored of Blaze 'cause she is getting fat.

Bring out the triple S' or even the fat slob Big the Cat!

(Assumed he was your brother. Ha ha!)

I'll make ya eat your words and believe this fact,

Representin' the Elemental Hazards and is always on the attack!

* * *

Blaze

A foe hasn't bested you? Well let me flatten ya

When I elbow drop you like JOHN CENA!

I'm a queen of my kingdom. You're more like a peasant.

A massive ego is the only thing that you represent!

Don't give me your sob story, you pathetic dork.

We all know your mom threw you away and kept the stork!

You talked shit about Silver when you're still single?

You don't have a girl. Only your hand likes to mingle.

(If you know what I mean.)

Your insults are weak. I don't even care!

The only thing you ever spit is hot air!

Defeat Blaze the Cat? You can't even roast her.

The only time you can burn is when you're holding a toaster.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches. Next up: Mute the Hedgehog vs. Wolf Boss REMATCH_


	12. Mute the Hedgehog vs Wolf Boss 2

_Previous battle winner: Blaze the Cat (8 to 0)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION: REMATCH!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda!_

_Mute the Hedgehog (OC) vs. Wolf Boss_

_BEGIN!_

Mute

Is this guy on my turf?

Steppin' on Mobian earth?

I'll blast him across the galaxy!

You about to give birth?

Cuz you're big and have girth

And if you say you don't? Blasphemy!

My steel Promethean sword will surely level your horde

So I suggest you ready up for war.

If we're going head-to-head you'll be dead from eating lead.

I'll make peace with you and break you like bread.

I didn't bring any weapons. Just a leash and a collar.

I'd sell ya back to hell for just one dollar.

* * *

Wolf Boss

Can I just drop the mic like your own franchise?

Your whole team is going down like a frickin' landslide.

Your first story was a'ight. You had ideas and were fly.

But now whenever another story comes out, people just cry.

SEGA trashed so many games that came before and,

Let's face it, they're gonna get any better again.

The story is twisted like braces. I'll break it!

It's like bacon. Good until you over-cook it.

Your time is nigh and your story is dry.

They're making a new game? Dear God, let it die!

My rhymes are coming fast and this shit's getting intense,

But I'll be sure to let you die at my own expense!

* * *

Mute

I see you tried your best, so take a seat in your place

While I give ya a grenade and watch it blow in your face!

Bleed from the needles. I feed you evil.

You just met your equal, you little Weevil Knievel.

I'm straight outta science fiction. Defy friction

And completing missions. After I murder all your bitches

I'll armor up and leave cuz my trigger-finger itches.

* * *

Wolf Boss

You brought a government to its knees, but we did it here first.

What's next? It's not like you can do any worse.

SEGA is garbage! Trash! Just like you.

This battle is your downfall and there's nothing you can do.

Cower in fear when this dog is let loose.

Time to take your rap career and hook it up to a noose!

You're no longer a threat. Just a sad excuse.

The wolf army is here. Just face it. You lose.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Up next: Sally Acorn vs. Master Shifu_


	13. Sally Acorn vs Master Shifu

_Previous battle winner: Wolf Boss (1 to 0)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda_

_Sally Acorn vs. Master Shifu_

_BEGIN!_

Sally

Listen up "master who is one with the world!"

Gather the guts to face me and I'll have you hurled

Off a cliff, ya piece of shit! You're no Midnight Cowboy!

You're getting' a Dustin, Hoffman, so don't act coy.

I'm a queen! You're a master of a stereotype.

I suggest you make like Crane and start to take flight!

Ya have a noddle mustache and are a rip-off of Yoda.

There's no winning this battle. Somebody shoulda told ya.

'Cause I'm royalty and a Hero! You're just Stranger than Fiction!

I'll make it Rain, Man! You lose, Shifu, so suck on that diction!

* * *

Shifu

I should keep my composure and block out your crass,

But I think I'll instead open a can of whoop-ass.

You're universally hated and partially nude

And when I say you look like a man, I don't intend to be rude.

I taught the Dragon Warrior to face impossible odds

And had to face my old apprentice who thought he could take on gods.

I'm the best kung-fu fighter the world has right now

And surely I can put down this smelly cow.

I think you should slink back to your home in a dump.

You've got the hair and the attitude of Donald Trump.

* * *

Sally

Looks like we've got a hypocrite here.

I think I'll wash up in your Pool of Sacred Tears

And kick this furry dumpling back into his palace!

Keep your composure? Ha! You're full of malice.

I'm fit! You're kinda fat.

I'm pretty. You're hard to look at.

I'll make the red panda race extinct and make you into a fleece,

Because beating you is possible with inner peace.

* * *

Shifu

What games were you in? That's right. None.

I've been in two movies and I'm on my third one!

You've been forgotten and swiftly cast aside.

The people who created you have left you to die.

You're beneath my talents, so I waste no more time

Dealing with this unworthy furry slime.

My words are like a virus, so this is the Outbreak.

You're not off the Hook. A good servant is what you'll make.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Po Ping_

**Just a note that I won't be doing a rematch of Amy Rose vs. Master Viper due to two reasons. First, I'm running out of rhymes (lol) and secondly, my goal was to get this story done a few months ago. I'm now making the final battle on the 31****st**** of December at noon (in EST). If you didn't think this battle was that good, I agree with ya, but I did two VERY minor characters with not much info about them in general, so a little slack is much appreciated :)**


	14. FINAL: Sonic the Hedgehog vs Po Ping

_Previous Battle Winner: Master Shifu (2 to 1)_

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Final Battle!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Po Ping_

_BEGIN!_

Sonic

I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! Fastest Thing Alive!

Blue Blur! Quicker than you and your Furious Five!

So everybody's favorite blue hedgehog is back!

So sit down, relax! Here, have a snack!

Play my SEGA game six pack!

I'm sorry if my rhymes are whack, but we're getting off track.

My raps are gonna attack!

I'm the big boss of SEGA. I run the show.

Even the CEO is afraid of me, I know.

But ya know, my boss can shove it up his ass,

And I ain't lyin',

If I be dyin',

Swear to god his tires are getting slashed.

I eat fine food, while you're malnourished up in this bitch.

You're super broke,

This shit ain't no joke,

You're stealing rice from people's kids.

The gamers and the writers charted out every win

Of all the pimps of Mobius and me the kingpin!

Let this sink in. I'm about to make you go insane!

I'm a gunner runner faster than the bolts of Usain!

I'll pick apart every piece of your tiny brain.

You're screwed now, bitch! You're in my domain!

* * *

Po

I'll one up your heroics and unleash my resilience!

Now brace yourself as I reveal my brilliance!

I'm the master, of suspense! So intense!

No defense against Po Ping once he presents!

My level is incredible and my skill is enormous.

I got the fighting moves of Chuck freakin' Norris!

Sure, I grew up poor and living in a noodle shop,

Serving hot broth and bean buns with my pop!

I'll serve you a fresh knuckle sandwich made to order!

Then kick your ass back over the Chinese boarder!

Don't get me wrong, I'll roast both your balls like a hibachi

But for a hero you're as tasteless as a bowl of Kashi!

While you herp-a-derp around, I fight with the best!

I get my power from within and not a fully blessed chest!

I'm a Kung-Fu legend with pants made of rags

Beating your false tags and bad spawn flags!

I got no time to deal with you! I'm working on a threequel!

When it comes to kicking ass, no hero is my equal!

* * *

Sonic

That's where you're wrong, my Fat Bastard friend.

Every villain who faces me meets a quick and painful end.

The Furious Five made fun of you 'cause you were too fat.

That's a true fact. Go ahead, go Google that.

So while you're eating food and are protecting Chinese sluts,

I take my checks to the bank and I sign 'em with my nuts!

It's true that I don't shake hands, but I do make fans.

I ruin rappers faster than Chinese lands.

Even Mario knows what I boss I am!

I got a fighting role in Smash Brothers, man!

So I'm putting an end to you. A permanent ban.

Kill of you and your squinty eyed clan.

* * *

Po

Just give me a second to let me catch my breath

Before I sit on ya and crush ya to death.

My rhymes will make ya cry. Go blubber and wallow.

I may suck at fighting, but you sure swallow.

I'm a funny foe that'll wipe out Mobius kins

And all your friends with one of my large ass chins!

Don't think you can go with the flow when you face Po, bro.

I just sit here and beat all the bad guys and hoes, yo!

But wait, we don't usually act like this, agree?

I say we rebel! Come along and fight with me

Against this guy who lets our friend die by evil freaks

And the name of that guy is the author. J Weaks.

* * *

Author (Me)

You two rebel against me? Well, good luck with that.

You're just a blue hedgehog and a panda that's fat!

I'll toss you two aside and make you both bums!

An urge is approaching. Oh wait, here it comes.

You two don't stand a chance against me, bro!

I'll rapidly run ya over. Here I go, so

The writer you face? Just a guy named Joe

And my origin is the state of Ohio.

I'll make you two fools my only hoes.

And I'm just gettin' warmed up, though.

I'll throw you both out in the snow.

You're raps are sluggish and slow-mo.

I'm goin' now. I got a flow.

Don't choke on my raps. Just forgo.

I'm your Last Judgment. Hello!

I'll take you both out. John Doe!

I'm going back; to and fro.

The rhymes you spit are so-so.

I'm an MC shredder. A total pro.

These words already overflow.

But I gotta save back some rhymes.

Those verbs are of mine.

This helps me crawl and get by

My pointless problems and tough times!

You're silent now, like two mimes!

You're men of steel. I spit kryptonite!

A fighter writer who'll hypothesize

That a press of a key can end your lives!

I'm a beast and I am in my prime

But I can buy you two for a dime.

I stole this battle! A total crime!

Now crawl back to your own worlds, you slime!

_WHO WON?_

_Decide in the reviews!_

_A final tally and ultimate victor will be decided soon!_

_Thanks for viewing!_

_NOTE that you CAN NOT VOTE for ME. Choose between Sonic or Po._


	15. Rap Battle Results! WHO WON?

_Previous battle winner: Po Ping (1 to 0)_

_THE RESULTS ARE IN! LET'S SEE WHO WON…_

Tigress vs. Knuckles = Tigress. KFP +1

Kiro vs. Blizzard = Blizzard. STH +1

Tai Lung vs. Shadow = Shadow. STH +1

Shen vs. Mephiles = Mephiles. STH +1

Crane vs. Tails = Tails. STH +1

Viper vs. Amy Rose = TIE. No points awarded

Takami Skyfang vs. Blaze = Blaze. STH +1

Croc Bandits vs. Rouge = Rouge. STH +1

Wolf Boss vs. Mute = Wolf Boss. KFP +1

Master Shifu vs. Sally = Master Shifu. KFP +1

Po Ping vs. Sonic = Po Ping. KFP +1

TOTAL

Sonic the Hedgehog: 6

Kung Fu Panda: 4

_The Sonic the Hedgehog characters are the winners according to those who voted! It ended up being closer than I thought. Thanks to all who voted and thanks to SpiritualLoneWolf for contributing in the Blaze vs. Takami battle! This concludes the book of battles for this fandom!_

_Did the results come out as you expected? Leave a review with your thoughts on how the battles went._

_Be sure to check out some of my other stories as well as SpiritualLoneWolf's if you enjoyed his parts of the Blaze vs. Takami battle!_

_Thanks again!_


End file.

Kung Fu Panda, Sonic the Hedgehog, Drama, Humor