1. Chapter 1: Jessie

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 1: Jessie

Kitty Pryde stepped behind the benches overlooking the small field at the back of the Xavier mansion, she put her hand to her brow to shade her eyes from the May sun.

A small child, the age of six, was sitting on the edge of the bench, her scrawny legs dangling, toes skimming the lush grass beneath her feet. Her long blonde hair, tousled, hanging down her back.

"Hey," Kitty said cheerfully, and held her breath in slight anticipation as the girl turned towards her almost in surprise.

Kitty examined the girls face. Jessie Crowell's wide eyes were blue, a slight hint of grey left Kitty reminded of the colour of an evening sky as a storm was brewing. Jessie's small pink mouth was heartshaped, her cheeks were flushed cerise ever so slightly that it seemed almost as if her face were glowing. Her nose was almost button like, with a very slight pinch.

"Hi…" Jessie said uncertainly, she seemed unsure as if she should speak to Kitty, as if perhaps Kitty were a stranger intent on offering her candy and then insisting she get into a car.

Kitty shook the thought off that her presence might seem ever so suspicious to the child, "I'm Kitty," Kitty said, she stepped over to the front of the bench, "I teach here," she added.

Jessie's apprehension did not leave her wide eyes, "I'm Jessie."

"The professor told me all about you," Kitty admitted, and smiled brightly.

The small child blinked, "he did?"

"Yes," Kitty smiled, "he said you were really clever," she added, "may I sit with you?" she asked politely.

Jessie moved over on the bench, she pushed her brown skirt down her legs as a soft breeze threatened to blow it up. "Clever isn't very good."

"Of course it is," Kitty took a seat, "why would you think it isn't?"

"People make fun of you when you're clever," Jessie said in a very grown up tone that made Kitty want to squeal with delight and surprise.

"I know," Kitty gained a sympathetic expression, "I was smart when I was your age – and I got picked on ALL the time," she admitted, "but…y'know, that's not going to happen here," she explained, "because here, everyone is smart."

"Really?" Jessie's eyes widened even more.

Kitty nodded eagerly, "so…you just got here today, how do you like the mansion?"

"It's…big," Jessie admitted, "I…I think I might get lost."

"You'll get used to it," Kitty promised. "Where are you from, Jessie?"

"Chicago," Jessie answered.

Kitty had known this of course, but simple questions seemed to be the best way to acquaint herself with the child, and gain her trust by not asking any big questions straight away. "Jessie is such a cool name," Kitty admitted, "is it short for Jessica?"

Jessie shook her head gravely, "it's short for Jasmine."

"Wouldn't that be Jassie?" Kitty raised an eyebrow with a comical grin.

"I don't know," Jessie shrugged, "I've just always been called Jessie."

"Jessie it is, then," Kitty said, she was about to cross one leg over the other and sit primly, but decided she didn't want to set herself far apart from the child by appearing very mature and proper, she turned around on the bench, sitting sideways, folding her legs under herself. "You're a mutant?" she asked.

"I guess," Jessie shrugged. "I mean, everyone at the orphanage said I'm not normal."

Kitty felt strangely as if the girl were several years older than six. She spoke very directly, but seemed to understand what she was saying more than she'd expect a six year old would. "Well…they're right. You're not normal," Kitty said, and before Jessie could almost seem horrified an adult would tell her this, she added, very sincerely, "You're special."

"Are you a mutant too?"

"Sure am," Kitty grinned, "we all are. There's no one in this mansion who isn't. You'll fit right in."

"But I'm…younger than everyone else," Jessie pointed out.

"By a few years," Kitty shrugged, "besides, you're smart, you'd probably pass for ten."

"If I wasn't so short," Jessie made a face.

"Hey, short is cute, short is adorable," Kitty stated with pretend indignation, "I mean, if it's not, then I'm in big trouble, right, 'cause I'm the shortest instructor here."

Jessie smiled a bit at this, and her guard seemed to drop.

"Anyway," Kitty said, "I just thought I'd come say hi – and welcome you to Xaviers. I think you're going to like it here."

It was several hours that Rogue and Remy were in a small Chinese restaurant south of Bayville, to celebrate Rogue's recovery from the experience of Carol Danvers taking over her mind.

Remy seemed to be acting naturally as he always did, he drank, he joked, and he laughed, but Rogue couldn't seem to get into the same spirit. Her life had been turned upside down in just three short weeks, and now she was unsure of how she would ever get it back to the way it was. She wasn't sure where to start – but being with Remy seemed a good way to try.

"You've hardly touched your food," Remy glanced up from his own plate, he had chopsticks poised masterfully between his fingers, noodles dangling from them like curls of hair.

"I know, I guess I'm just not as hungry as you are," Rogue pushed her plate forwards a bit, she watched Remy eating for a moment, his hair dangled in front of his eyes and she was tempted to brush it away, but with so much skin exposed – wearing a strapless dress that barely covered her – she felt that attempting to do so might endanger his life.

Remy sipped his Sake, he looked over the cup at her, she seemed a million miles away, "is something wrong?" he asked.

"Yes," Rogue answered, "you still haven't explained what happened and how Carol took over exactly," she answered, "these things don't just happen."

"What's the last thing you remember exactly."

"I told you earlier this morning…the last thing I remember is your watch beeping, and you going off on a mission…"

"You don't remember me coming back?" Remy asked.

Rogue paused, trying to think, "I…don't know, I vaguely remember you coming back…" she remembered the fighting, but she did not want to bring it up. There were still things she didn't want to tell Remy – like Bobby's feelings for her. Remy was liable to get jealous, and she didn't ant to provoke that in him right now.

"You came to my room," he leaned forward a little to keep his voice extremely low, "I was upset, I'd blew the mission, you…consoled me…" he neglected to mention the amount of touching involved. "I…kissed you."

"You did?" Rogue blinked, "I…I seriously don't…remember."

"That's because…it sent you into some sort of seizure," Remy admitted unhappily.

"It did…were you okay?"

"I was fine, Chere…I did not feel a thing," he said, "And if I did, perhaps I was too frantic and worried about what happened to you to notice…" he added.

Rogue felt tingles brush up her spine, slight and delicate, almost like butterfly wings against her, "I…don't know what to say," she admitted, and she honestly didn't. Somewhere in the back of her mind it somewhat occurred to her that he had not been affected by her kiss, but she pushed it back, worried by the rest of what Remy hadn't told her yet. "What then…?"

"You were in a coma that whole night…the next day…there was Carol…refusin' to give up your body back to your mind," he traced absent patterns on the top of the table with one finger, he'd abandoned his chopsticks, suddenly not hungry either.

Rogue stared down, watching his hands, "and then?"

"And then she spent the next three weeks trying to make your life hers," he sighed, he decided to leave out the fact the Professor had welcomed it for a moment also, he didn't have the heart to tell her. "I've been pinin' so much since you were gone," he added, "thought I'd never be able to hear your voice again – not the way you speak," he explained, "not the way you say my name, not the way you make my heart skip beats."

Rogue smiled, touched, he smiled back at her softly, the smile reached his eyes although she could see the traces of emotion behind his eyes, he was speaking from the heart, emotion was the one thing he'd never been able to hide from her.

"Anyway," Remy took another drink of Sake, "it's over with now, best to forget about it…"

"There's still so much I need to know," Rogue responded.

"Please, Chere, this is the first time in a very long time I've had the pleasure of your company for an evening," he kept his eyes on hers, "lets not spoil it with talk of what happened…we have the rest of our lives to discuss it…"

Rogue felt a chill, this time somewhat stranger than before. The rest of their lives? She wondered somewhat – although she loved him deeply – whether he'd stay for any amount of time after saying something such as this. Every time he made such a promise, was a time he had to leave soon. "Remy…"

"Hmm?" he asked, he put down the Sake, he rested his arms on the tabletop.

"You…are sticking around, right?" she asked unsurely.

"Of course," he said, slightly anxious now, had he been obvious about his plans? Had someone told her? His heart felt as if it might explode out of his chest suddenly, and splatter on the table in her Sweet and Sour pork.

"Okay," Rogue said, "it's just every time you start making plans for the future, it's usually around the time you suddenly just take off again, y'know?"

"I…don't blame you for being suspicious," Remy admitted, "I know I've caused you so much hurt over the years I really can't blame you for not trusting me anymore."

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do," Rogue ensured, "it's just, I don't know…sometimes when you're here and it's like this and you're so sweet and we're so happy it gets so hard to believe…it's like it's too good to be true."

Remy looked at her, "but it is," he said, "it really is."


	2. Chapter 2: Cheap

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 2: Cheap

Rogue parked her truck in the mansions garage, the garage was in darkness save the headlights and a very dim light that indicated where the door into the mansion was. She turned the engine off, slipped her keys out and dropped them into her bag. The Garage plunged back into darkness again, the light near the door not even reaching her truck. Rogue was silent, unsure if she should speak or not.

Remy put out the cigarette he'd been smoking in the passenger door ashtray, and he turned and looked at her, his intense eyes glowed slightly red in the darkness. She remembered once having been chilled to the bone seeing his eyes this way, but now, she didn't mind at all.

"Thanks…for a lovely evening," Rogue finally said, she chewed her lip, "I…would have paid for half the bill, but…I don't know, my purse was gone," she added curiously, she gave her bag another quick search, but no, it was definitely gone. She pondered if Carol might have taken it, she began to worry about this quite a bit.

Remy shrugged, "I don't mind. I got enough money for both of us," he said, he placed his hand on her leg, the thin fabric of the dress between their skin.

Rogue felt apprehension growing, why was he coming on so strong all of a sudden? Was this another one of those games he liked to play? Get her interested and then decide to back out when it got too hot for him? It always seemed that when she felt slightly lustful towards him, he seemed to back away, that had been the way it had been the last time, he'd been somewhat unsure. Now, he seemed pretty damn sure, and that made Rogue very uneasy.

In fact, there was something else that made Rogue uneasy, but she just couldn't place it, it almost felt unsafe when he touched her. She'd noticed it earlier tonight, but it hadn't been so strong. Now there was a horrible nagging feeling within her – like the warning of a red flashing light.

Rogue gently brushed his hand away from her leg, "I still haven't been to see the professor yet. I was getting ready and Jean came to the door asking me to see him…I should probably do that now."

He leaned in a little, murmured near her ear, she felt his hair – which was down to his chin – brush slightly against her bare shoulder and it made her shiver both in slight anticipation, and delight, "he can wait," he said, his breath hot on her ear.

"Please don't lean so close," Rogue flinched away.

"You never minded gettin' so close before…" Remy confessed, "in fact, before Carol took over your body, you had your hand around me," he reminded. "You seemed to be gettin' pretty into it too…"

Rogue had forgotten, but the memory came flooding back suddenly, how passionate it had all seemed, now she felt rather foolish, "Look, I was just…I don't know, trying to make you feel better about blowing the mission," she said, although she wasn't particularly sure if that were true.

Remy blinked, and sat back in his seat again, "huh," he said, not a question but more of a general comment.

"What…?" she asked, turning to look at him. The look on his face was a cross between devastated and dubious.

"Nothing," Remy uttered, he reached over and opened the door to leave the truck, he seemed rather intent to drop the subject, but Rogue would rather not let it drop, something was wrong with what she'd said, and she couldn't understand what.

"No, what…?" Rogue asked, she reached out and grabbed onto the sleeve of his brown leather jacket to stop him.

Remy took a deep breath, he stopped, sitting halfway inside the car with his legs dangling out, "I just…I don't know, that makes me feel kind of…cheap," he added, the word 'cheap' made his mouth feel strange. It wasn't a word he would associate with himself – no matter how lecherous he'd been in his sordid past.

"C'mon, Remy, how can you say I make you feel cheap? With the amount of whores you've screwed and the things you've done in the sack, I'd think you'd be used to that by now."

The words had come out of Rogue's mouth before she'd even realised what she'd been saying, but she immediately felt horrified. She'd said it so horribly coldly that it made her clamp her hand to her mouth in complete dismay at herself. She had no idea where the words had come from either. It was something she was almost sure she had meant to think to herself, and not say out loud to hurt him. This wasn't the kind of thing you should say to someone you loved, and she was quite aware she'd crossed the line.

Remy gaped at her, "Well…if that's how you feel…" he got out of the car, slamming the door behind himself.

Rogue climbed out quickly, tumbling out, she tried to pull the bust of her dress up as she ran after him, "wait! I didn't mean that!"

"Then what did you mean…?" He demanded turning to her, "one night was all I wanted, one night, without us fighting, without us worrying, without…I don't know…anything happening that was going to hurt either of us…"

"I don't know why I said it, it just…came out…I thought you'd think it was a joke," she lied, her eyes wide.

Remy shook his head, "No…the way you said it, you meant it, I heard the tone of your voice, I saw the look in your eyes…even after all this time you still don't trust me, you still resent everything I've done in my life…"

"No, I don't resent anything. Look, what's in the past is in the past, we've both done things we regret…" she tried to console.

"Yeah, then what are yours!?" he asked coldly, the hurt still evident in his dark eyes as he stood half lit by the light by the door. "The things that I don't know about you that you regret!?!"

Rogue faltered, "I-I-I…don't know! I'm just trying to make you feel better…" she tried, she looked at him pleadingly.

"I don't need sympathy sex and I don't need sympathetic comments, okay?!" he frowned.

"Then what do you need?" she asked.

"I don't know…" he lowered his voice, their yelling had been echoing over the garage. He had to stop and ask himself why they were yelling at each other.

"Is this sexual frustration or something?" Rogue asked, raising an eyebrow, "because…I don't know, you look pissed."

"I don't know what it is, Rogue," he said coldly, "maybe it's the fact that you still bring up all my mistakes every time we're together that I'll never forget anything, and spend the rest of forever regretting the things I've done in this life instead of LIVING it."

"Remy, I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry…" she said softly. "Look, I'm on edge, we both are…things have happened," she explained. "I'm raw, my emotions are a little…I don't know, sensitive…" she moved closer, "I think yours are too…"

Remy tried to calm himself down, he wasn't sure why her comment had touched a nerve the way it had done, it had left him feeling very shameful, and far dirtier than what she'd told him about the night he'd kissed her.

"Why is this hurting you so much?" Rogue asked, she saw it in his eyes again, emotion, stronger than she'd noticed before.

"Maybe it's that when you touched me, I was so in love with you I was already willing to risk my life just to taste one kiss…and wow, what'd you tell me? Oh, It was a pity handjob."

"It wasn't a pity handjob," Rogue lowered her voice in case someone in the mansion might hear. The last thing she needed was for students and colleagues alike to know intimate details of her sexlife, half-sexlife, or lack thereof. "It was just…you were upset, I thought I could take your mind off of it. We were already going to fool around that night, you know that."

"You seem to be having no problem remembering now," Remy uttered coldly.

"It's coming back to me," Rogue admitted, she sighed.

There was a moment's silence after this, they stood looking at each other, Rogue couldn't find the words anymore to say she was sorry, because what she'd said had been so horrible that she was sure there weren't enough words in the world to apologise to him.

Remy looked away from her, he was staring at the floor, his hair hung in his face. He was half silhouetted in the soft lighting, one half of him looking somewhat vulnerable, almost childlike, the other half, mysterious.

She faltered again, unsure of how to begin to try and amend this, "I…"

"I don't want to hear it, Rogue," Remy stated firmly, interrupting, he did not look to at her anymore, he hid behind his hair, in much the same way she used to herself.

Rogue understood then just how angry he was, because he always seemed to favour calling her Chere at any other time. "But I just—" she tried to say.

"You explained yourself already, I don't want to hear more," Remy reached out and opened the door into the mansion, he was about to leave then stopped, his back was turned to her, his shoulders sank, as if in defeat. "I love you, y'know," he said, his voice full of emotion, "I've loved you non the less throughout these years…" he sighed, his shoulders sunk even more, "but I'd rather know now if I'm just wasting my time loving you when there are still things you can't come to terms with about me…" he glanced over his shoulder at her finally, his eyes glittering in the soft light.

Rogue opened her mouth to speak but felt like the words would not follow.

"Why spend all the time you did lookin' for me, when you know nothin' has changed…" he gripped the door hard, his knuckles turning white, "if you can't accept that…then there's no point in bein' together, is there?"

Rogue stood, dumbfounded, was he breaking up with her again? She wasn't sure, and she couldn't get any other words out now, she just felt too mortified with the whole situation.

Remy took another deep breath and sighed, the sigh felt as if it came deep from the heart, as if his heart was trying to exhale the ache out like too much air. Without another word, he left her standing alone in the Garage.


	3. Chapter 3: Not Again

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 3: Not Again

Remy had been on his way towards the foyer when he heard the retching sound of someone in the downstairs bathroom nearby, curiously, he sauntered towards the bathroom, the door lay half open, and he glanced in nosily, seeing Kitty leaning over the toilet.

"Morning sickness at night?" he asked curiously.

Kitty Pryde jumped, having not heard his approach, she groaned, "Yeah. Some of the kids were eating pepperoni pizza…the smell…ugh."

"Yeah, I heard that happens…" Remy nodded, "Belle used to get sick whenever anyone nearby was eating food with Ketchup – she said it was because the smell was always strong. I read that pregnant women's senses are heightened, which is why the smells seem all the more stronger…"

Kitty brought up another small bout of vomit, and then sighed in relief as it seemed to be over with. "I wish my senses were incredibly dulled," she groaned.

"You okay?" Remy asked, he moved over.

"Just dandy-o," she said sarcastically, she flushed the toilet, put down the lid and sat upon it slowly, "God I hope this isn't going to be like this all through the pregnancy until December," she sighed, she'd gone a very sickly white colour with her nausea.

"I'm sure it won't be," he touched her back, "You look kind of peaked."

"Yeah, I always heard that pregnant women were meant to glow…does glowing with sweat count?" Kitty wiped her face with her sleeve.

Remy gave a tiny smile, he felt sympathetic towards her, and wished there was more he could do.

"You needin' to pee?" Kitty asked, realising he'd been standing there a long time, and there didn't seem to be much other reason for him to be standing in the bathroom.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something," he shrugged, "I'm thinkin' of takin' off tonight…" he sighed.

"Huh?" Kitty turned on the faucet to take a sip of water to rinse her mouth out, she leaned sideways into the sink from where she was sitting, and put her mouth under the faucet.

"Me and Rogue started fightin' again…" He confessed after a moment.

Kitty spit the water into the sink in an almost choke of shock, "Oh no, no no no no!" she leaned up, "No, not again."

"Yes, again," he sighed, "and maybe it's for the best, because…I have to break away somehow long enough to help Betsy find Sinister."

"No, you don't. You and Rogue DON'T need to be broken up to find Sinister."

"Betsy says I'll be distracted by my relationship with Rogue if I am together with her…" he admitted.

"And you believe her?"

"I know she's right," Remy said, "I'm more distracted by my relationship with her when I AM together with her than I am when I'm not…"

Kitty turned the faucet off, frowning at him, "Remy LeBeau…" she breathed heavily, she tried to control her anger, "I did not fuck a geek on a computer chair and wind up pregnant by him just so that you can go break up with Rogue any time you want!"

"Calm down…" Remy said softly.

"I will not calm down! I have put SO much work into your relationship! If I'd put HALF as much energy and sacrifice into my own MAYBE Piotr would still be here, I don't know…all I know is I'm not going to let you just walk away from this!"

"Kitty…"  
Kitty's eyes glimmered with tears, "You can't leave her, and you can't leave me...she needs you here, and I need you here…you're the only one of us who's gone through this baby thing…I can't do this without you, Remy…"

"What about my obligation to Psylocke?" Remy asked, pointedly.

"Screw your obligations to her!!" Kitty yelled, "screw finding this stupid Sinister guy!" she sucked in a breath, "you are not going to just walk out of here like you always do!"

Remy took a hold of her arms and held her still to calm her, "Petit, It's important that I get Sinister too…" he said quietly, "if you knew HALF of what that bastard put me through—"

"How can I know? How can ANYONE know? Every time the subject of Sinister is brought up you close like a clam! You don't talk about it! If it was THAT important you find him you'd have at least asked US for help, you'd have gotten us involved, you'd have told us about it by now!"

"It isn't relevant to the team," Remy retorted quickly.

"Why not?" she demanded.

"Because it's personal…"

"And we aren't good enough to KNOW about your personal life?!" she demanded.

"Some things are just TOO close to the heart," Remy uttered, "Some things just hurt too much…" he looked away, "some things…are just too shameful to tell about."

Kitty broke away from him, "are you crazy? After all you've done for me, after all you know about me, how could I ever think anything you've done in your past is shameful?"

"Can you just drop it already?" Remy asked, he put his hand to his head, her shrill voice was beginning to make his brain feel as if it might split down the centre like a peanut.

Kitty tried to calm herself, she realised how terrible these moods were, and it wasn't something she could really help, "what did you and Rogue fight about anyway?"

"We had words," Remy responded, he headed towards the door.

Kitty grabbed his arm to stop him, "what 'words'?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Words like my saying something she did made me feel a little 'cheap' came into it and then she said – ever so coldly - 'With the amount of whores you've screwed and the things you've done in the sack, I'd think you'd be used to that by now'. Basically implying how much of a complete and utter male slut I am…" he frowned.

Kitty blinked, it certainly sounded like something Rogue might say, but certainly not to Remy's face, "why would she say something like that?" she asked.

"You know, it's her favourite pass-time. Bringing up the past so she can hurt me with it."

"You two are so fucking warped, it's unreal," Kitty rolled her large blue eyes, wondering just how far Remy and Rogue's relationship would have gone without her intervention and decided that it would probably be not very far at all. "Go to your room, I'll talk with her, find out what the hell all this is really about."

Rogue had barely gotten into her own bedroom when Kitty had entered without knocking. Rogue turned in surprise, and forced a smile, "hey," she said, although she certainly didn't feel as bright as her voice sounded when she said it.

"What did you say to Remy? He's upset…" Kitty folded her arms.

"He's the one who started this whole thing, Kitty, don't start yelling at me, I'm just not in the mood right now for more yelling."

Kitty frowned and stood staring at her friend, her eyes burning with anger.

Rogue sighed, "I might have said something I didn't mean, it just came out, how was I to know he was going to take it so…personally?"  
"Because he's fragile," Kitty said pointedly, "c'mon, Rogue, look at him, he's gone through a hell of a lot in his life. Sure, so have you, but unlike you, he didn't have all of us to support him."

"So?" Rogue asked as she sat down on the bed and began to slip off her stiletto heels.

"So…he's been alone all his life, and it's a miracle he's survived through manic depression this long without…" Kitty swallowed, "killing himself."

"He's a fighter," Rogue shrugged, "he always has been."

"Rogue, what is with this attitude? You were madly in love with him only four weeks ago, now you're acting like you can't stand being around him or something…" Kitty trailed off.

Rogue shrugged again, she looked away, "I don't know. I just…I get this very weird feeling every time he touches me…" she shivered.

"Like?" Kitty demanded abrasively.

"I don't know, like I don't want him touching me anymore…" Rogue shivered again, she looked away. "It's weird, Kitty. I've never felt like that around him before…I felt, almost like, I don't know, he were trying to hurt me or something…"

"Remy has NO intentions of ever hurting you," Kitty stated.

Rogue raised her eyes to her friend, "is Remy the father of your baby?"

"That's a popular theory in this place," Kitty sighed, "but no. He's not. I'll tell you about that LATER, the issue right now is if you and Remy have ANY kind of a future together and whether I can – once again – patch up whatever tear you guys have put in your relationship. I swear, by now your whole love life looks like a quilt, I think I've done most of the sewing or something."

Rogue sighed, "Maybe I'm just tired…or maybe it's just, I don't know, something to do with Carol's having taken over me, I feel very strange, Kitty. Not at all myself – and my whole life has been changed, my room, my clothes…and now I feel differently too."

"You still love Remy, don't you?" Kitty asked softly.

"I…" Rogue hesitated, and she had to ask herself, "I think I'm just maybe in a slump or something," she said.

"That wasn't what I asked…"

"I don't have a proper answer for that yet," Rogue confessed, "of course…I still, y'know, have feelings, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's love or…something else."

"Something else?" Kitty asked, she was beginning to feel very horrified with all this. All the hard work she'd put into helping Rogue find Remy so they could be together, and now Rogue was talking about whether she knew she loved Remy or not. "What do you mean something else?"

"Sometimes, I wonder, just…every now and then…if this whole thing with me and Remy is just a stupid addiction I never managed to break…when he's there, I can't help myself, and I say I love him, but sometimes I can't…help hating him…"

"That's normal. I broke up with Piotr…I still hate him and yet…I still love him…that's how it goes. You can't just have one emotion when you're in a relationship with someone. Emotions come hand in hand, sadness and happiness, contentedness and restlessness, hate and love. It's all connected."

"But if this was undeniably love, wouldn't it JUST be love? Wouldn't I just be content?" Rogue asked, "no matter WHAT I do, I can't be content with him, sooner or later, I get these horrible memories that keep coming back to remind me of all the stupid things he's done."

Kitty sat beside Rogue, "Rogue, you've done some pretty stupid things yourself…"

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Nothing like him."

"Oh?" Kitty folded her arms, "how about…Jared."

"God, don't bring up this all over again."

"No, I have to," Kitty insisted, "because Remy's not the only one here who's made mistakes and there's plenty he could bring up to bite you in the ass with but he doesn't."

"Jared is the only mistake I ever made…" Rogue responded dourly.

"Nearly killing yourself over Genevieve…Remy's ex-wife who he only married so she could get a greencard," Kitty held up a finger. "Instead of trying to work things out with Remy, you doped yourself up on MutantX and went to a nightclub – do I NEED to say what happened then?" she reminded, "that's two things already…" she added, "Plus Jared that's three…"

"Fine, three mistakes. How many has Remy made, huh?" Rogue demanded, "Trying to blow my frickin' hand off the first time we met, Not telling me he conned Carol Danvers into joining Magneto, not telling me he was married, sleeping with Bella Donna, sleeping with some girl on Muir Island, decidin' to go ahead and have a baby with Bella Donna even though she wanted an abortion—"

"That's an unfair statement," Kitty said, and she touched her own stomach, "sometimes, you have to do the right thing, and that was just that. He was doing the right thing."

"Accidentally killin' Jared and THEN just disappearing for almost seven years," Rogue added coldly. "I could go on all week telling you about the things he's done."

Kitty shook her head, "you are so beyond help sometimes," she got up. "I know you love him, so you better speak to him before you screw up this whole relationship and regret it for the rest of your life…" she uttered, she headed towards the door, "you'll find Remy in his room. Night," she said coldly, and she left slamming the door.

As Kitty was walking down the hall, she didn't hear the soft laughter coming from Elizabeth Braddock's room.


	4. Chapter 4: Kitty and the Fetus

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 4: Kitty and the Fetus

"Remy?" Rogue asked softly as she pushed Remy LeBeau's bedroom door open to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, skimming through the glossy pages of a men's magazine, he glanced up at her, and didn't seem rather interested in seeing her, he looked down again and continued to flick through the pages, almost oblivious to her presence.

"Okay, I guess you're still mad," Rogue said, she stepped in and closed the door quietly behind her. "I guess…you have a reason to be."

"It's not so much that I'm mad," he uttered under his breath, "it's that I'm hurt."

Rogue felt as if a brick had dropped in her stomach, "I know…"

"No, you don't know," Remy said, he tossed the magazine aside, a pin up of a nude supermodel sat spread eagled on a chair in the centrefold, the low back of the chair concealing everything from the waist down.

Rogue watched him, she folded her arms over her chest, feeling terribly insecure of how much skin she was showing.

"I know I have a reputation for being a womanising bastard," he said, "I know that I'm a complete sex addict. I know that that I've had more women than ANY guy in this mansion – in fact probably more than all of them put together. I know that I'm disgusting, immoral and perverse in so many ways. I KNOW this, and I think it ALL the time at myself. And I know that EVERYONE else in this mansion thinks it too – even Kitty, who's probably the closest thing I have to a best friend. I can DEAL with anyone else thinking these things about me, but you…" he shook his head, "knowing you think these things about me..."

Rogue looked to the floor, her face flushed with embarrassment.

Remy sighed, "it just…hurts," he sighed, and that was the only way he could explain it, the way he felt about what she'd said. Hurt.

Rogue moved over and touched his back, "I'm sorry."

"Don't say you're sorry," Remy pulled away, "I don't need to hear 'sorry'."

"Then what do you need to hear?" Rogue asked quietly.

"That you love me, that you believe in me, that you honestly think this relationship has a future?" he glanced over at her.

"Of course I do…to all those things…" Rogue said without hesitation, she looked at him in a desperate way.

"Then why can't you just let go of the fucking past already?" he demanded, "we were finally getting along, Rogue. Before you and Carol switched over and back…now here we are again. One step forward, two steps back…" he sighed. "Are we going to spend the rest of our lives going in circles with this relationship?"

Rogue paused. "I don't know, it just came out…like a reaction to something you don't have a chance to consider before it passes your lips," she sat down on his bed slowly. "I sincerely NEVER meant it."

"Sounded like you did."

"What do you want me to do? Have the Professor read my mind to tell you if I did or not?" she demanded. "If you don't want to hear sorry, there's not much else I can say to you, Remy."

Remy sat down slowly on his bed beside her, a few feet of space between them, and there was a few moments silence. Rogue was the first to turn and look at him, and then he turned and looked at her too, he sighed and was about to speak, but something interrupted him, the Professor's voice rang out in both Rogue's and Remy's head.

Could everyone please drop what they're doing and come to my office immediately… the Professor asked telepathically.

Remy sighed again, got up and headed towards the door, he did not say anything. Rogue followed quietly, and neither of them spoke as they descended the staircase down to the foyer, and tread along the long mahogany panelled hallway to reach the Professor's office.

Remy did not knock upon the Professor's door, he opened the door, and let Rogue enter first, she looked at him curiously as if to ask if they were still fighting or not, but said nothing.

All of the X-Men were in the office, standing looking curious as to what this was all about. Five magnums of Champagne sat upon the Professor's desk, a tray of finest crystal champagne glasses. Everyone seemed concerned, and confused. Kitty gave Rogue and Remy a curious glass, but did not speak, she looked back to the Professor.

Rogue and Remy stood near the wall and waited for whatever was going to happen next. "What's goin' on, Prof?" Rogue asked worriedly.

"We're still missing one X-Man, where's Kurt…?" he looked around.

A millisecond later, Kurt was there, he'd teleported into the office along with the smell of sulphur which always strongly followed his teleportation powers. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

The Professor smiled, "Not at all…Jean…Scott?" he gestured towards the two, who seemed to have something to say.

Jean smiled, even Scott seemed too happy to maintain the usual grim expression upon his handsome face. "We have an announcement to make," Scott said rather cheerfully, he put his arm around Jean's waist.

Jean had so much excitement building in her that Remy thought she might start bouncing up and down like a six year old on Christmas. "We're getting married!"

The room was a whirl of congratulations, laughter and merriment. Remy could find nothing to say.

"Congratulations…" Rogue said to Jean and Scott, she forced a smile, although inside she was frowning, and she wasn't sure if it was maybe because she'd always had feelings for Scott when she was younger, or perhaps that it was just quite upsetting someone else was so happy in their relationship while her own relationship with Remy was once again at a standstill

Kitty didn't say anything either, instead, she looked sadly at her own ring finger, noticing lack of a diamond engagement ring or a wedding band. Sighing, she placed her hand upon her stomach and looked away despairingly.

Remy finally managed to pull himself together from his fight with Rogue enough to say something, "Well…can't say I never saw it coming," he shook Scott's hand. "You two…will have a really happy life…" he said, "I really envy you two," he added, and he sincerely meant it.

Glasses of champagne were passed around. Remy had always like Champagne but somehow he couldn't find the desire for it right at this moment. Scott reached out to hand a glass of champagne to Kitty, but Kitty rejected it, "I can't," she said grimly.

Scott grimaced, "oh yeah…"

"I propose a toast to Jean and Scott," said Betsy rather smugly, she gave Rogue and Remy a dismissive look, then forced her attention back to the happy couple.

Toasts were made, and Rogue and Remy tried to join in as best they could although their hearts weren't in celebrating. Remy glanced towards Kitty, she hadn't raised her glass at all, she was looking away, she was sad, her one hand upon her belly as if she were checking that she really were pregnant or if this were all a dream.

"I propose another toast," Remy cleared his throat, he forced himself to sound happy and upbeat, which was considerably far from how he felt at all.

Rogue and Kitty both looked at him confusedly, unsure of why he should want to feel like celebrating all of a sudden.

"To Kitty, for having the courage to bring new life into this world alone, and to the new life she holds within her," he said.

Kurt had been sipping upon his champagne when he choked, spraying champagne upon Logan who had been the nearest person.

Logan had been drinking from a beer – champagne wasn't his thing – he choked on his own drink, and blinked, looking at Kitty, "what?!"

"What did you say?" Kurt asked, his mouth was hanging open. "New life…" he trailed off, "What…I'm sorry, what?"

Kitty glanced towards Kurt, then to Logan, she wished Remy hadn't said anything, but realised he'd meant well, and besides, both men would have had to find out sooner or later – and no matter how they found out, it wouldn't make a difference to how lousy their knowing would make her feel about it. "I'm…having a baby," she said quietly.

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked, looking at her curiously.

"One hundred percent…" Kitty averted her eyes from him, she felt like she couldn't face him right now.

Kurt was speechless, Logan just blinked, "you…a mother," Logan said.

"Well I'm sure not the father," Kitty replied, and then quickly added, "and neither is Remy, before anyone asks," she wanted to be clear on this, so many accusations were wandering the halls she might as well get it out before anyone asked.

The attention of the room was on Kitty, and even Scott and Jean didn't seem to mind their thunder being stolen unintentionally by Kitty.

"When is the baby due, Kitty?" Ororo asked.

"December," Kitty responded.

"You're already two months pregnant?" Scott asked, "wow, we would have never suspected."

Kitty forced a smile, "I didn't suspect either…I found out recently too…it was a bit of a shock, but…"

"I can't believe one of us is going to have a baby," Jean said, her eyes twinkling. She seemed to be on cloud nine.

_No wonder she's happy_, Kitty thought a little angrily, _when she has a baby, at least she'll be married to Scott_. _She's not going to have to explain to her own kid why she's not married to it's father. Oh my god…I'm going to have to explain everything to this kid…it'll hate me forever…it'll think I robbed it of a proper childhood and of a father…oh God._

"Who's the father?" Logan asked harshly, almost as if he'd read her thoughts.

"Just a guy," Kitty said, "He's…not the best rolemodel, so…I don't know if I want to have him involved or not."

No one seemed to have any comments, she had expected there would have been a disagreement from those who would disagree with her not wanting to tell the father. She knew someone had to be thinking that the father of the baby had the right to know.

Rogue was just staring at Kitty now, she hadn't had any explanation of this although she'd heard the very brief details from earlier that day.

"I think it's wonderful," Jean said brightly, "And it's really brave you're doing this by yourself…you'll make such a wonderful mother…" she smiled. "I agree with Remy…a toast is in order."

Remy raised his glass, "to Kitty, and the Fetus."


	5. Chapter 5: What We Do

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 5: What We Do

Kitty Pryde left the Professor's office with the others, feeling very low indeed. Remy LeBeau caught up with her in the hall. Kitty walked slowly, her ankle was still broken, so running was out of the question.

"You okay?" he asked, he looked at her, he could see the misery etched on her face so clearly, especially in her eyes.

"I wish I was," Kitty responded, "I wish I could be happy for Jean and Scott, I really do. They're the worlds best couple, and they're so in love and all that, they really deserve to be happy – and deserve our happiness for them," she sighed, "But…seeing them together, knowing they have a whole committed relationship and wonderful loving future together only reminds me of two things, I'm boyfriend-less, and I'm pregnant…" she said quite candidly.

Remy nodded, "Yeah. Seeing other people's happiness is sometimes more depressing than I think they realise. They might as well be rubbing their faces in the fact that they're happy, and that we're miserable."

Kitty nodded also, in agreement.

"Being boyfriendless isn't too much of a bad thing, you're only twenty-three years old."

"In June I'll be twenty-three," Kitty shrugged, "but what does age matter?"

"It matters," Remy shrugged, "c'mon, Jean and Scott are, what...?"

"Twenty six and twenty seven," Kitty shrugged, "not that it make's much of a difference…" she added.

"It does. You're being twenty-two means you have LOTS of time to find someone who really loves you."

"I thought Piotr did really love me," Kitty sighed, "and think about it, Remy. Most guys see a girl my age with a kid and they run a mile…there aren't many guys who're going to come running into my arms when I have a baby hanging from nipple."

Remy tried not to picture this, he shook his head at her but slightly smirked nonetheless.

"Anyway, I don't want to talk about it anymore, and I definitely don't want to think about it either, I'm sick of thinking about it…Did Rogue talk to you?" Kitty suddenly asked.

"Yeah, but, I don't know where we stand…we were still in the middle of discussing things when were called down for the announcement," Remy shrugged.

"Where is she?" Kitty asked, looking around.

"She stayed back to speak to the Professor…the Professor has a lot of questions…"

"Did the Professor question you yet?" Kitty asked quietly.

"No, but I have a feeling he will. He's probably suspicious that just out of the blue, Rogue woke up."

"So…you really don't know if you and Rogue will reconcile – again?" Kitty asked, they approached the foyer. She and Remy had been walking so slowly that everyone else had walked off far ahead and disappeared presumably back into their own bedrooms, back to their own lives again.

Remy shrugged, "I really don't know. I don't suppose I can blame her for being a little annoyed about my previous sex life..."

Kitty sighed, she rested her arm against the banister at the bottom of the grand staircase, and looked at him, she wondered if he really would just give in so easily.

Remy sighed too, "Sex…is a funny word, isn't it," he looked down to his feet, "sex…it's a small word for such a big thing. Sex…you've barely said it and you're finished saying it, and just that tiny word means so many things…"

"What are you blabbing about?" Kitty asked.

"Just thinking…I've thought of sex as such a small thing, a minor little detail. It's ironic, isn't it…?" he murmured softly.

"What is?" Kitty stared at him curiously. She wasn't sure what this conversation was leading into, yet this conversation was leaving her feel rather jaded, and she felt almost as if she'd heard it before. It was a strange feeling.

"Rogue is still somewhat a virgin…at least…psychologically," he said quietly, hoping no one would overhear, "yet, she seems to understand the meaning of sex and how important it is and how meaningful it is more than I probably ever will."

Kitty shrugged, "I see what you mean but…I don't know, I mean I always figured that guys were the ones who were supposed to be chauvinistic and self-indulgent where sex was concerned where women were more tuned into the emotional and meaningful aspect of it…"

"Do you think I should forgive her?"

"Of course I do, Remy," Kitty said, as much as she wanted to be there for him, she felt exhaustion settling over her and wanted to lie in bed.

Remy looked back down the hallway towards where the Professor's office was located, "but…she can't forgive me still…and I don't think she ever will..."

"Not every woman has the capacity to forgive and forget. But we have the capacity to just deal with it nonetheless. Listen, for every bad thing that happens to us, for every horrible little truth we know, it stays there in our head, it never goes away. Every now and then, it might come back, like an echo – but like an echo, it'll fade…" she sighed, "Despite it's just fading echoes we deal with it nonetheless," Kitty frowned, "Remy, there is no completely happy ending for everyone. Even Jean and Scott fight from time to time."

"I guess you're right," Remy sighed, "I just…I've been trying to force myself to not fight with her for some time, I just thought maybe we were past it already, I didn't expect it to start the same night she got control of her mind again, y'know?"

Kitty nodded, "I know."

Rogue was sitting in the chair in front of Professor Xavier's desk, she felt rather apprehensive, he was asking questions of which, half she didn't even know the answers to. Such as how she had suddenly regained control of her own mind when neither he nor Jean had been able to help her do this.

"I don't know what else to say, Professor," Rogue sighed, she looked over at him, she felt rather insecure sitting there with what she was wearing, and after all, the Professor was a man of flesh and blood, she hoped that the dress which was particularly low cut, wasn't making him uncomfortable.

"Neither do I," the Professor sighed, "Remy had announced you were back to yourself again, but he did not give any insight as to how you had recovered so quickly."

"Believe me, Professor, You're not the only one Remy isn't giving straight answers to," Rogue replied, she folded her arms over her chest and tried to make this seem as casual as possible without drawing too much attention to herself. "As much as I love him, sometimes I don't trust him completely, he has too many secrets and he's as professional a liar as he is a Thief," she sighed.

"There seemed to be a little bit of tension between you and Remy during the celebration."

"I know, I'm sorry to have brought it upon everyone," Rogue admitted, "it's my fault, really."

"I don't think anyone else noticed, but as empathic as I am, it seemed very obvious to me," the Professor confessed, "why is it your fault there is some mild tension?"

"I said something to Remy that I probably shouldn't have. My mouth ran ahead of my brain and I guess I hurt his feelings," Rogue looked down to her bare knees, absently examining them. "I didn't realise what I was going to say until after it had all come out of my mouth, and there was no going back on it," Rogue sighed.

"I'm sure you will work it out. If you love each other, you'll somehow find a way to reconcile…and I'm sure he will forgive you in time."

Rogue chewed her lip for a moment, "professor, why do you think it is that me and Remy fight so much?" she asked softly. "I mean, I scour my head for some sort of answer as to why it keeps happening – so that maybe I can somehow prevent the pattern from repeating itself, but I come up blank."

The Professor paused, briefly, he then smiled, "the reason may not be as hard to find as you think it might be," he replied.

"Hmm?" Rogue asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let me pose a question to you, why do we do what we do, Rogue."

"I don't understand what you mean by 'why we do what we do'," Rogue confessed.

The Professor twined his fingers together, and placed both hands on the desk in front of him almost as if he would start praying. "Why do we constantly risk our lives to save the lives of humans who fear us? Why do we constantly intervene when mutant terrorists try to harm the innocent? Why are you and Jean, and Scott, and all the others part of the X-Men, Rogue?"

Rogue hesitated, unsure, then looked at him, "Because we care."

"Exactly," The Professor nodded.

"So..." Rogue tucked her hair behind her ear, "you're saying…me and Remy fight…because we care?"

Professor Xavier merely smiled, "it would seem so…" he answered, "I remember, distinctly when I was nineteen, I was courting a lovely young lady who shared several of my classes at the University I attended. A professor noted me and her arguing on the lawn, and when she walked away from me, he approached to console me – as I was quite upset as you might imagine."

"What'd he say?" Rogue queried curiously.

Professor Xavier looked up towards the ceiling as if he were imagining the scene being projected onto the pristine white plaster, "he said 'never mind, Xavier, never mind. Brawls between lovers are somewhat expected and only natural. If you do not argue occasionally, you will never realise your passion for each other, if you never fight, how will you know her emotions? If you cannot yell, how will you ever see the fire in her eyes? Fights can only mean you care…it's when you aren't fighting with the girl you love that you should start to worry'. Wise words."

Rogue tilted her head, looking at him, listening, "I guess you're right. If I forgave Remy for so many of the stupid things he's done, and he just forgave me for every time I nitpicked at him for it, then maybe our relationship would seem a little…bland and I'd start to wonder…what the point of being with him was."

"Besides," The Professor grinned, and for a moment, Rogue could almost see a nineteen year old boy behind those eyes, the one he'd just told her he'd once been. "Sometimes making up makes the fight worth it."

Rogue stood slowly, "Thanks, Professor, I think I see now."


	6. Chapter 6: Reconciliation

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 6: Reconciliation

Rogue had searched all over the mansion for Remy, and had not had much luck. After changing into her pyjamas, she'd decided to take one more quick look before going to bed. Otherwise, she felt she might not be able to sleep until this whole business was dealt with.

She finally located Remy LeBeau in the Library of the mansion. It was now very late, and the library was almost in total darkness save the vague orangey glow of the wall lights that imitated candle sconces. Remy was sitting at the table near the window, the chair tilted back, his boots up on the table, his arms were folded and he was staring towards the window almost wistfully.

"Hey," Rogue said softly, she closed the door behind herself and walked over slowly. She examined the way the shadows set upon his handsome features, the way his hair was half silhouetted, the way the floodlights from outside had caused a tiny flicker of light to highlight his nose. "What're you doin' in here?" she asked in an almost timid and somewhat childish voice.

"Figured it was the one place you wouldn't find me," Remy replied rather cheekily, he turned and looked at her, "I'm not exactly the intellectual type so I didn't think you'd come here looking for me."

Rogue moved over to the table, "You're still mad at me?" she asked concernedly.

"Honestly, I just don't know. I don't want to be mad. I feel too tired to be mad, and let there's this little slither of anger that's just naggin' its way into me and won't let me be."

"So…you're not as mad as you were then?"

"I guess not," Remy put his feet down and sighed. "Still hurts, though," he confessed, and he meant it still. It did hurt. It was almost the same feeling he'd imagine if a parent told you they hated you, or if your best friend had betrayed you and slept with your wife – that kind of hurt.

"I'm sorry…I really am…" Rogue chewed her lip, she looked down at him.

Remy raised his head and looked up at her, "I know y'are, Chere, I know."

"I know…it wasn't the nicest thing to say, especially since you got so many bad things goin' on in your head," she reached over and touched his cheek with her gloved fingers.

Remy looked away, "I should have just taken it with a pinch of salt. I know what you said is true…"

"Sssh…" Rogue murmured, she put her gloved finger upon his lips. "What I said was wrong…and I can't be sorry enough."

Remy just looked at her, but didn't speak another word of it.

Rogue sat upon his lap, and put her arm around his shoulders, "We okay now?"

"We're okay," he sighed, now realising that his plans for leaving with Betsy were going to have to wait out the month ahead. That meant he was going to have to find another way to break away from her for a while without jeopardising the relationship. Granted, leaving now would have definitely jeopardised the relationship. She'd have hated him just walking out on her – again - but at least the break had already somewhat been made and he could worry about repairing it later on. It would have been easier to walk away, if only he'd had the guts to leave. But he hadn't. He hadn't been able to tear himself away, because he was too afraid it might be his last chance.

He vaguely recalled there being some agreement this was the final chance

Rogue brushed his hair away from his face, "I love you," she murmured, she kissed the tips of her gloved fingertips and then brushed them gently against his forehead.

"I love you too, Chere," he replied, and he meant it, and found himself somewhat wondering how many times he'd said the words 'I love you' during his life and having truly meant it. He came up with the answer that any time he'd ever said it to Rogue, he'd meant it. Any other time, not a chance in hell he ever had.

Tentatively, Remy put his arms around Rogue to hold her around the waist. As he did so, Rogue couldn't help but feel strangely threatened by this, and so she got up slowly, "I'm really tired," she yawned. "I'm gonna go to bed…"

"Okay," Remy said, he didn't even seem to notice how she had ever so slightly flinched away from him. "Night…" he sighed, and watched her leave the room.

Kitty had been lying in bed when an abrupt knock at the door disturbed her from almost dozing off with a book in her hands. She sat up a little straighter, moving her hair from her face. She thought it would be Remy, or perhaps Rogue, because there seemed no other reason for anyone else to see her except from her two closest friends. She was however, surprised when it wasn't.

She called out, "come in," and was completely astonished to see Kurt Wagner step into the room, looking somewhat sheepish, his hair mussed as if he had been lying in bed tossing and turning unable to sleep, his eyes were slightly tired, and his fine blue fur was somewhat awry.

Kitty sat up even straighter, her blue eyes widening, "Kurt…" she said, her voice betraying no surprise whatsoever, "is…is something wrong?" she asked, her voice hesitant, her tone almost childlike.

Kurt closed the door behind himself, "I…I can't sleep," he said softly, "I keep thinking…about this."

"About what?" Kitty asked, she folded her legs under herself from beneath the blankets, she put her book on the bedside cabinet to her right, she placed her hands primly on her lap.

"About this…you…and the baby."

Kitty shrugged, but couldn't find a comment for this. She wasn't sure what to say, because she and Kurt had not spoken to each other as anything other than unfamiliar colleagues ever since he'd told her still loved her.

"I just…can't believe it…I mean, you, pregnant," he said, he looked at her with his silvery yellow eyes, his expression ever so slightly severe.

"I don't want to hear it, I know everyone can't believe it, I must look like a complete whore to everyone in the mansion, and I'll deal with it, but I don't want to hear them say it. Hearing is the worst part," Kitty looked away.

"I don't think that, I just think…I don't know, I feel bad."

"You do?" Kitty raised an eyebrow.

"The others told me that Piotr left you in the Lurch…because of the baby."

"Actually it was because I kept it a secret from him," Kitty sighed.

"He did?" Kurt seemed quite shocked, "I thought he might have been more understanding if he…if he loved you."

Kitty sighed, "I guess our love wasn't was strong as we both thought. Maybe it was nothing more than mere infatuation, how do I know?" she looked down at her hands.

Kurt paused, "Kitty…we've been…estranged for so long, that…I'm not sure if any kind of reconciliation is possible in reference to our friendship," he reached over and took her hand within his, Kitty hadn't touched his hand in so long she's forgotten how different the skin of his palm felt compared to the skin of any other man. The skin of Kurt's hands felt rougher, mostly due to the amount of acrobatics he did on a daily basis, his hands had grown calloused, and tougher. There was something almost comforting about his touch. She'd forgotten just how comforting it was.

Kitty was unsure she could say anything else, she certainly hadn't expected Kurt to come back to try and reconcile their friendship at all, he'd seemed so angry with her. Hadn't he said he couldn't be her friend whilst having those feelings for her, because it hurt too much to be around her?

"I know I've been a complete…" he faltered, unsure of how to put it.

"Asshole?" Kitty asked.

"Right," Kurt nodded almost too enthusiastically, "but…I just…I don't know…I don't want you to go through this by yourself…"

_He's guilty_, Kitty thought worriedly, _guilty and sorry for me because Piotr abandoned me_. "But I won't be going through this alone, I have Remy, and he's been great," she admitted.

"Kitty…" Kurt said quietly, "I know your feelings for me aren't likely to change now – or ever. And I know I was stupid to just drop it all out of spite because I couldn't have things the way I wanted…but…even if things can't be the way they were…I'd like to somehow try and repair the friendship…"

Kitty looked away again, she glanced to a scented lit candle that sat upon the windowsill, the window was open and the soft breeze would slightly stir the candleflame, making it flicker. "I don't know if that's possible, Kurt…y'know a lot has changed…"

"I know that," he sighed, "I know I messed up – but can you blame me from being hurt?" he asked. "You're the love of my life…" his voice was somewhat desperate. "The thought of being near you every day and not being able to kiss you…" he sighed, "it's like, torture. But now I realise I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all…"

Kitty sighed, "but…your…just…dropping me like you did, it kind of hurt, Kurt…it hurt A LOT."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but…I can't stand this…and now knowing you're pregnant…I don't want you to go through this totally alone…and if I can do anything I can to help…I will."

"There's nothing you can do to help," Kitty touched her stomach absently.

"Kitty, I'll do anything, I'd even pretend to be the baby's father if that was what you wanted, I just…I want to be a part of your life again. I hate feeling shut out, seeing you and Remy together, best friends and all…I miss being your best friend, I miss hanging out with you the way he does."

Kitty was somewhat touched by what he'd said, she wondered though when push come to shove, would he really take responsibility as the role of the father if she asked him to? Did he really care for her that might? It made her heart flutter in a way she hadn't felt for him in a very long time. "That's sweet…but…"

"Don't say but…" he said softly, "Just…think about it…Piotr walked out, but I won't do that – EVER."

"But you walked AWAY from me," Kitty reminded.

"But I didn't walk out."

Kitty realised this was true, he had always been there, and he would look out for her, and he had tried to many times, it was just she'd tried not to see it that way. "Okay," she said softly, "I'll think about it…bein' your friend again I mean…but that's all, I'm not makin' any promises, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt nodded and smiled.

"Now get out of my room, I want to sleep," Kitty said grumpily, and that night, she slept entirely soundly for the first time in a very, very long time.

The End (or is it? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN).

Thanks to everyone who reviews as usual, and thanks to Aro who is my little personal assistant (and number one fan I think!). Thanks everyone.


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