Phantom of the Opera 1. Chapter 1

**PHANTOM IDOL**

**I apologize for the fact that I have lost my mind. Well this contains OOCness, people bashing, and other things. I just want to say that I have NOTHING AGAINST MEXICAN PEOPLE! Anyways, enjoy some OOC humor!**

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"Hello, this is Richard Firmin, your narrator for this show. We have got a great season filled with horrible and great singers, along with certain romances among the judges of the of the show. Let's see what our first contestant has in store for us"

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switches scenes to contestants biography 

"Hello, my name is Jeremiah Vanmorris. I am a 15 year old from Mexico City, and I'm the next American Idol because I am the most awesome singer I know"

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Why did I agree to do this?.." mumbles Erik, slouched down in his chair. "Quit whining Erik, I think these people will be great singers!" Christine, who is unable to be mean, says cheerfully. 

"I bet you 2 francs that this contestant sucks"  
"Deal!"

Just then, Jeremiah walks in and greets our judges. And steps onto the stage. "What song will you be singing for us today Jeremiah?" asks Raoul. " I will be singing 'We Belong Together', by Mariah Carey."

"Alright then, anytime your ready. No pressure."

Jeremiah nods, takes a deep breath and in a terrible squeaky, off-key voice, he sings "Baby we belong together! Who's gonna BEEEEEEE there when times get rou-"

"STOP! STOP! STOP! My gosh, that was horrid! You sound like a hippo giving birth to a damn lion!" Erik screams, who has clearly lost his temper once again.

"Erik! Don't be so mean! He was.. Ok.. He just needs to practice a little.. That's all." Christine apprehends. " A LITTLE! My God! Are you deaf? Ugh.. Raul, yes or no?"

" No, dude, sorry." Raoul says,shaking his head.  
" I say no too, goodbye." Erik says.  
"Well, you know what? I'm good at singing music! Your just a ugly monster. Nobody loves you!" Jeremiah says, trying his best to be insulting.

"Your not even American! Why the hell are you here"  
"Well, your not American either! Your French!" "I'm a judge, it doesn't matter"  
"No wonder Christine went with Raoul.."

"DOURGGHHH! That's it!" Erik screams, infuriated. A noose drops from the ceiling and wraps around Jeremiah's neck and dragging him up into the unknown.

"…..That didn't go well…" Christine says quietly.  
"The bloody hell it didn't!" Erik says. "I'm going for a walk"  
The door slams shut, then opens once again and Erik pokes his head back inside.

"You owe me 2 francs." Then the door slams shut again.

"Well, looks like that first contestant already sent one of the judges patience over the edge! Will our next contestant be better? Find out after this commercial break on American Idol- Phantom style!

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**short, I know. But it is just a prolouge!**

**Love,**

**Penguin**


	2. Of wimps and home dawgs

_**Author's Note: Book Raoul is completely OOC in this chapter. But I hate him and he seems like a wimp, so I made him a wimp. This chapter can also be described in one word. POINTLESS. And Erik for President, I put you in this chappie as a contestant. I don't know your gender, so if I got it wrong, don't blame. And for anyone else, tell me if you want to be a contestant, ok? Now onto the story.**_

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**_Disc: Same. I also do not own any of these songs._**

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"Welcome back to Phantom Idol! You will be very surprised at who our next contestant is!"

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In the room:

Erik had just blown off steam by chasing pigeons with his sword. Christine is too busy being pissed about losing 2 francs that he had came back. Raoul was sitting their being pissed because, well, everyone else was pissed.

The door then opens slightly, and a nervous looking blonde man with a moustache steps in.

"Er, hello." he says shakily. Erik peers down at his paper. "Ah, I see you are... RAOUL!"

The judge Raoul then swings out a bat. "What? I didn't poison your coke if that's what your thinking!" he yells out. The contestant Raoul shifts around nervously. "I'm Raoul from the book.. The Phantom of the Opera book." he says.

Raoul from the book's eyes narrow to slits as he recognizes Erik. "YOU! You're the monster that took Christine away from me and trapped us in the torture chamber! I will _kill _you!"

Erik carelessly pulls a lever from under the table. "Not today, monsieur." he says coolly.

The floor then opens up beneath book Raoul's feet and he slips down into the torture chamber...again.

"Eh? Oh no! Not this place again!" The floor closes up and muffles his shouts.

"Is that legal?" Christine asks. "Probably not, but I killed Raoul and that makes me happy. Oh, and Raoul, before I forget. I actually switched our cokes, so your actually drinking poison. Not me"

"Eh.. Well, to the Emergency Room!" Raoul then skips out of the room and the replacement for Raoul walks in. " What up my home dawgs?"

It is the famous (not really) Randy Jackson!

The next contestant walks in. "Hi, I'm -unknown idenity-, but you can call me Erik for President!"

"Ok, dawg, what are you going to sing for us?"

"I will be singing part of the song 'Whiskey Lullaby'."

She then, in a strong, sweet voice, sings: She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger. She finally drank away his memory. Life is short, but this time it was bigger, than the strength she had to get up off her knees..."

"Thank you, Erik for President. Nice nickname by the way." Erik smirks. " I thought it was great. You have a very good voice. So I say yes." Erik says with finality.

"Thank you." Erik for President says.

I also think you have a very nice, pure voice. So I say yes too." Christine says.

"Welcome to Hollywood, home dawg!" Randy says. Erik for President the skips around with joy.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, Erik for President skips out with the golden ticket to Hollywood.

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"Looks like we have some talent here in... wherever we are... but now it is time to move on. Since Raoul has been moved to a hospital in Washington, that is where we will be next on '_Phantom Idol'_!

Firmin out."

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Well... That is all I've got for right now. Once again, if you want to be a contestant, tell me! 


End file.

Phantom of the Opera, Humor, Parody