Divergent Trilogy Beating Heart

_Wanna hear your beating heart tonight_

_Before the bleeding sun comes alive_

_I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight_

_And hear my beating heart one last time_

_Before daylight_

Tobias and I sit in the back of the train car, as far away from Marcus as we can be in the small space. He's leaning back against the wall, his knees up on either side of me as I lean against his chest. My eyes are closed and my arms are holding his around my stomach.

The others in the car are talking in low voices. I don't bother trying to understand what they're saying. I just listen to Tobias' heart beat against my ear. We've been talking off and on but it always dissolves into silence when I start to think about my parents.

My mom and dad were alive this morning. I found out a few hours ago that my mom had been a transfer from Dauntless. They had both given up their lives trying to protect mine. They're gone. Caleb and I are all that is left of our family. I watch him as he sits against the other wall talking with Marcus. I don't know how I feel about my brother anymore. He didn't know what was going to happen. He believed his faction was doing the right thing. How is that different from me believing in Dauntless?

It's not different. That's the problem. I have no right to be mad at Caleb for what Erudite did. The Dauntless leaders were right there alongside the Erudite leaders, determined to massacre the Abnegation and take over the city. My faction isn't any better than his.

I can't help but be mad, though. I guess that's the selfish side of me.

Tobias' arms tighten around me and call my attention back to the present.

"Not long," he replies in a terse tone. Marcus nods. He must have spoken first. "The train tracks stop in Amity."

I give Tobias' hand a squeeze.

"What are we going to do when we get there?" I'm not sure why Marcus expects Tobias to be in charge. It bothers me, for some reason, but Tobias doesn't even acknowledge that his father said another word. He tips his head back against the wall and goes silent. I watch Marcus for a few more minutes, but he just goes back to talking to the others and doesn't speak to Tobias again.

Eventually the others fall asleep. It's been so quiet for so long that I wonder if Tobias is sleeping, too. But when I look at him, his eyes are open and looking up toward the roof of the train car. I watch him for a moment before he looks down at me.

"What are we going to do when we get there, Tris?" His voice is almost too quiet for me to hear. I shake my head.

"I don't know."

He tips his head back again. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head. He's trying to figure out his next move, when none of us know what it should be. It's not only my world that turned upside down today. Everyone in this train car was uprooted in some way. And Tobias almost killed me. We both had to leave Dauntless with the knowledge that we can't return. We're homeless. Factionless.

I don't want to think anymore. Without a word I shift around and straddle Tobias' legs. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I just shake my head. I don't want to talk.

When I kiss him he kisses back without hesitation. It deepens quickly, my fingers thread through his hair and his hands press against my back so that my stomach is against his. I take breaths in gasps where I can, but I don't want to waste time away from Tobias' lips and comfort. He seems to need the distraction just as much. His hands are gripping at me, holding me tightly against him. I slip my hand under the collar of his shirt and feel more than hear him gasp.

"Sorry," I whisper, breathless.

"Cold," is all he says in reply, then we're kissing again. I feel his heart beating fast against my hand and can't help but smile. My family isn't totally gone. I have my brother, and I have Tobias. At least something good came out of this mess.

All thoughts leave my head when Tobias deepens the kiss again. I return it with equal passion, having completely forgotten about the other people in the car. I curl my fingers in his hair, trying to hold him as close as possible. One of his hands runs up my back, the other up my side and over my chest. I pull away immediately.

"Tobias," I start.

He shakes his head. "Your heart." I looked down and notice that his hand is indeed over my heart. I'm embarrassed by its sudden frantic pace.

"Oh."

Tobias smiles just a little and slides his hand up to the back of my neck. "Are you scared, Tris?"

"Terrified."

Then we're kissing again. He pulls me close and our hearts beat furiously together through the fabric of our shirts, as if trying to catch up to each other in a race neither can win. My fights itself, half wanting Tobias closer and half scared of what could happen if he was. I hold onto him, digging my fingernails into his side, both of his arms like steel bars around my back.

The train gives a lurch and sends me to the side, off Tobias' lap. He catches me before I can catch myself and pulls me back onto him. I lean my forehead against his. We're both laughing quietly. The spell is broken, and we remember where we are and what we're doing.

We're running. Hiding. Saving ourselves and each other. The rest of our families are asleep with the other Abnegation refugees on the other end of the car. We aren't alone. And we won't be until we can get our future figured out.

I turn back around and slip myself between his legs, back to my previous position. Tobias wraps his arms around me and I lean back against his chest. Neither of us speak. I turn my head and press my ear to his chest. His rhythmic breathing calms me down and reminds me once again that I have someone to trust with me. My grip on his arms relaxes after a few minutes.

None of us know what's going to happen when this train stops. I'll be able to forget about what happened today. But for now, I don't let that bother me. I just relax myself into Tobias and let myself fall asleep to the soft lullaby of his beating heart.


End file.

Divergent Trilogy, Hurt-Comfort, Romance