EastEnders 1. In the beginning

**Eastenders.  
The drama surrounding Pandora.  
I don't own any of it except for Pandora. **

**Chapter one. In the beginning**

I never actually realized that moving to this square could change my life. I moved here after my best friend and her family did. Life at home was horrid, when I moved here with Nancy and her family, it saved my life. Mick Carter was the best man ever. His son Johnny was alright as well I suppose. But his daughter Nancy, was my best friend. Mick took me in after what happened at my home. My name is Pandora (I know my parents were high when they named me)

When you tell people that you self harm or you've self harmed they always look at you like you are crazy, Mick never looked at me like that, he oh he just wanted to help. More than my real father did. Well it's my father's fault I'm in this mess.

Mick runs the Queen Vic pub in Walford. He and his wife and their kids moved there about 2 weeks ago I've been friends with the family for years so when they moved Mick told me I could come as well and escape. Escape the man who was supposed to love and care for me.

Me and Nancy and Johnny grew up together, I know everything about them, but still feel bad that I hid this from them.

Hid my scarred arms, my bruised face, how I hid my emotional and physical pain. Mick caught my dad at it one day. He was giving me another bruise, to match the others. Mick didn't say anything, until Nancy invited me over that night and Mick caught me scratching another mark into my arm. I used anything I could find, because I just had to do it… My dad well he didn't care if he bruised me, and he didn't care how much make up I had to cake on to cover them, but the pain caused by me scratching whatever I could find into my already pale scared arms, just felt different. I needed to do it, in his mind, I caused the bruises, so I thought I might as well cause the scars to, if I didn't, it was only a matter of time before he did.

When Mick took me in, he promised that he was the only one who knew, Nance and Johnny didn't and he promised he wouldn't tell Linda or Tina either. Linda being his wife and Tina his sister. He promised me this but I in return had to promise to stop self harming, I did, but I haven't managed to keep it yet… every time I sleep I get the nightmares and I just have to.

I shared a room with Nancy but I refused to continue my education and settled on working with Mick and Tina in the pub and having a little bit of home schooling from Tina and Nance. Mick asked why I refused to go back to school and I just giggled. I had bruises of different colors all over my body, and scars all down my arms (and legs but Mick didn't know about them ones) I didn't wanna start a new school looking like a freak.


	2. three weeks later, Mick see's

The drama Surrounding Pandora.  
I don't own anything bar Pandora.

Chapter two.

It was three weeks after we moved when Mick found out I hadn't kept my promise. Nance and Johnny had gone to school and Tina was stocking the bar down stairs.

I lay in bed with my trusty needle. I pull my trouser leg up, and suddenly Mick entered the room, I hid the needle but the scars on my leg were visible.  
"DORA!" he yelled across the room. He grabbed the hidden needle. "You said you were gonna stop!"  
I looked down at the floor; I hated it when Mick shouted, I went to push my trouser leg down to hide the many scars I had made since being here. "I'm sorry" I whisper. I wanted to cry, but I didn't know how Mick would take the tears, would he turn out like my original father? I really hope not.  
Mick sat on the bed next to me; he wrapped an arm round my shoulders and pulled me into him "Why Dory?" Mick asked.  
Inside I smiled a little, Mick was the only person who ever called me Dory. He couldn't off been that mad if he was still calling me Dory. "I had to M-Mick" I stuttered slightly. He ran his fingers through my long blonde hair and I let my head rest on his shoulder, a tear falling down my cheek. "I had to" I repeat.

Next thing I knew, Tina entered mine and Nance's bedroom. "Mickey I need help with this barrel." She says, and I jump up quickly, not wanting to explain myself to Tina.  
"Tina, My name is Mick, not Mickey!" he states, letting me go quickly properly wanting to just get rid of her. "And I'll be down in a second; I need to finish my conversation with Pandora. Just put out the clean glasses while you're waiting for me Tina."  
Tina sighs and leaves again.  
"I want you downstairs in 10 Dory. We'll finish this conversation later." Mick says and leaves to go and help Tina.

I got changed into my usual jeans and oversized tee shirt (Black today), dragged a brush through my hair and then spent ages going over my face with my foundation, to make sure that not a single bruise would be seen in any light. I slipped my shoes on as well. Then headed down to the bar.

Mick was in the back setting the barrel up, and Tina was putting clean glasses out.  
"What can I do?" I ask.  
"Gimme a hand" Mick says. I rush over and grab the bottom of the barrel t which was slipping out of his hands. We fitted it quickly whilst Tina changed the spirit bottles over so they were all full.

"I'm done; I'm headed for the café." Tina says, that's her other job on a Thursday. She and Mick exchange a few more comments while I head to the kitchen to wash the glasses from last night.

Mick enters the kitchen, he leans against the wall and folds his arms, and I continue cleaning. "So Dory…" he starts.  
"Don't Mick. I feel bad enough as it is, I wanted to stop, I want to stop, but I can't, every time I have a nightmare I have to do it, so that I can calm down. But normally Nancy is asleep, so I can't do it until she's gone to school, because I won't risk waking her." My hands are trembling, Mick walks over and takes the glass from my hands and places it back into the sink. He wraps his hands over mine.  
"You can't deal with this on your own Dory."  
"I do though Mick. I always have…"

Mick sighs. "Dory, I wish I would have been able to help you earlier." He says. "How long? How long was Jack doing this to you?"  
"You don't wanna know Mick." He leads me back upstairs and sits me on the couch.  
"Your 18, how old were you when it started?" I keep silent. "How long after your mum left did it start? Was she there when it started?" He keeps asking questions, but I just keep my silent act up. "How long after the beatings did you start cutting?" I close my eyes but don't answer. "PANDORA!" He says loudly and I just break down and cry.

"I was 10 the first time he hit me, three days after mom left, because I asked him when she would be home. The next time was when I was 13 because I asked if he knew where mum was." I whisper. Remembering all this was hard for me, but there were things I wasn't going to tell Mick. "Other things happened between the ages of 13 – 16, one night when he beat me when I was 16 I had textiles homework to complete, and I had the needle, and I just did it… because his beatings weren't hurting so much, so I needed to know that I could still feel things." I wiped my eyes viciously. "When I was 16 and a half I began doing it after every beating, to keep track, to ease the pain, to ensure in myself that I could still feel"

Mick sat next to me and held me tight. "How many?" He asked, his voice breaking slightly. I slowly rolled my sleeves up. There were 25 big scars on each arm, with at least 30 little ones on each as well. "What do the different size scars mean?"  
"The big ones mean a full beating. The small ones are just a little beating."  
"And the ones on your legs?"  
"They are from where I've had nightmares."  
Mick held me as I cried, the sound of the bell from the front door of the pub split us. "I'll go serve, come down when your better" he said and kissed my forehead.


End file.

EastEnders, Friendship, Hurt-Comfort