EastEnders 1. Chapter 1: One Year On

**Awake**

**Right, this is my newest fanfic which I just thought of just now and felt compelled to write it down. I hope you like it! R&R**

**Ronnie POV**

**Chapter 1: One Year On**

One year. That's how long it had been. One year since my darling Danielle had been hit by an oncoming car. It was hard just being back here, in Walford, after all I had been through. I had needed to break away, escape from it all, escape from everything and everyone. And I did.

Ibiza. That had been my escape route. My only thinkable escape route at the time. Tears bucketing down my cheeks as if my eyes were rain clouds and my tears were the rain, I packed my bags and ran, ran for Ibiza. It had been about twenty minutes after Danielle had been hit and I couldn't stand to watch her, to grieve for her, to be anywhere near Albert Square itself.

I had left for a chance of freedom. A chance of abandoning my guilt and agony in Walford and starting afresh in Ibiza. New friends, new work, new everything; that's what I hoped was on the cards for this time in Ibiza. Of course, I was aware it was going to be very different from last time. I was older, more sophisticated, there was certainly going to be no all night partying and one night stands as there had been last time. We were young and foolish, Roxy especially. But like I said, there were no plans for anything like that this time. This was strictly an escape, a new life.

But somehow, a year later, I was drawn back to here, to the occasional hell hole that is Walford, Albert Square If you want to be more precise. Maybe guilt had got the better of me, maybe it was because Ibiza hadn't lived up to its expectations. Maybe it was because of Danielle. Ha! Who am I kidding? It _was_ because of Danielle, of course it was. Truthfully, I couldn't get her blood covered, battered face out of my head. I couldn't get the aching pain of guilt and worry out of my heart. It seemed the emotion had been lodged there for all eternity. And also, I was unable to think of anything else. I was unable to enjoy myself back in Ibiza. I had been alone there. My injured heart had been forbidding me to socialize with anyone and had been forcing me into a consistent bad mood. And so I returned.

Now, through the tears which were once again trickling down my blushed cheeks, I gazed down at my daughter, my Danielle. The daughter I had accused of being insane, the daughter I hadn't believed, the daughter who, once I had accepted her, had been forced into a life threatening situation. I should have been grateful at the time. In fact, I should still be grateful now. At least she was still breathing, at least she still provided a glimpse of life inside of her. A year ago I should have been there for her. A year ago I should have been doing what I'm doing now, sitting at her bedside, my fingers gently wrapped around her almost very cold, pale hand, watching her small, fragile face lay there, seemingly lifeless. However, a year ago, I hadn't been doing this. I had been in Ibiza. I hate that place now. It just makes me feel so guilty, so terrible for leaving her here all alone. Especially since the time when I left was so damn crucial. Idiot...what an idiot I had been in the past.

Still watching her unstirred face, I contemplated the situation. It was hard to believe that, even after a whole year, Danielle still lay there, in her coma, no one knowing if she was almost at death's door or if she was going to make a miraculous recovery. That was the thing; she could wake at any minute...but she could also die at any minute. I shivered, not wanting to think of my daughter so close to death. What would she be thinking of? Could she hear me? Would she-

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt the hand that was hidden deep in the palm of my hand stir suddenly. I shrieked, not knowing what to do or what to expect.

"Danielle?!" my voice was exasperated yet still hushed as I was used to being unbelievably quiet during time in the hospital. Again, her hand stirred and, with a twitch of the head, an eye flickered. I watched as just after one flicker of the left eye, the right eye also flickered. It was then that I saw her sweet, frightened eyes gaze up at me. My heart was pounding and I felt as though I would collapse in shock at any moment. Through my sudden confusion, there was only two words I could utter.

"She's awake!"

**Well that was my sudden storyline idea. I'm not sure if I should continue or not but I'll see what people think through the reviews so, if you liked it, just review! Thanks for reading anyway! **

**Georgina =) **


	2. Chapter 2: My Danielle

**Thanks to all your amazing reviews I've decided to continue on with 'Awake'. I hope you like this chapter just as much(or more) than the first one! R&R!**

**Ronnie POV**

**Chapter 2: _My_ Danielle**

My back pressed against the hospital wall, one hand doing the same and the other wrapped tightly around the disability bar, I watched, my jaw dropping as nurses flooded through the ward room doors like a stampede of elephants on a mission to retrieve their food and water. They crowded around her making it impossible for me to see her beautiful angel-like face. That was who she was after all; an angel, my angel.

"Miss Mitchell, could you step outside for a moment?" a black haired tanned nurse tapped me on the shoulder with a hand as delicate as a dainty flower and ushered me graciously out of the room. I was no longer provided with the ability to refuse this task and so let the nurse lead me from the room and into the dusk, chilly hallway. Only seconds before I was forced to exit the room, I gripped my slim fingers around the side of the door, my mouth still stammering and my fingers losing strength. I stretched out my arm halfway and as my arm lay midway in the air it began to crumble as I burst into expected tears. I wished I could see her, cradle her in my arms, all to acknowledge that she was very much alive and well.

The tears which flowed heavily from my saddened, yet in some ways relieved, eyes strained an enormous amount of pressure upon myself and I broke down, my knees almost buckling. Before I could collapse fully, the nurse dragged me onto a nearby waiting chair and set me down to weep tears of joy and tears of regret in my own time. Surprised by this elegant flower of a person's sudden strength, I gazed up into her hazel eyes.

"Miss Mitchell, Danielle's OK. It's just a routine check. Completely normal", the nurse smiled weakly, placing a thin, slender arm on my shoulder.

"I know, I know", I wept, wiping the tears from the corner of my eyes, "I know that all fine and well. But it's... it's to do with the past".

I felt myself slipping further and further down the growing black hole within my confusing, unpredictable life. I didn't feel like digging up the past. Especially not to random strangers. I peered down, avoiding any eye contact.

"I see, Miss Mitchell. I understand one hundred percent. I can't change the past, Miss Mitchell, whatever it may be, however, I can assure you that in this present moment, Danielle seems in good proportion to recover nicely", she smiled weakly again, flicking a loose strand of pretty black hair from her face.

"Is there...is there anything that could _possibly_ go wrong?" I asked, fearing the absolute worst.

The nurse sighed an unconvincing sigh then looked me directly in the eye, "Of course there is always a chance that something is wrong. In Danielle's condition the chance is higher-"

"But you just said-"

"Miss Mitchell!" she raised her voice slightly, presumably annoyed with me cutting her off in her sentences, "I meant what I said before, that Danielle is one hundred percent OK. Because that's true...at the moment. Honestly, I know how parents get, Miss Mitchell. I've dealt with it all before. Please, I don't want you to worry so let me get on with my job and I'll notify you as soon as soon as possible on any changes in Danielle's condition".

I sighed as she walked away, not knowing whether to feel angry, overjoyed or sad. Who would have thought that elegant flower could be hiding, deep down, an angry hot-headed soul.

I continued to stay seated in the same draughty spot. I tapped my long, impressive nails on the corner of the chair, creating an annoying drumming sound.  
"Excuse me", a middle aged woman leaned over from her chair, "Could you please stop that, it's quite annoying". I chuckled, unimpressed. Quite annoying? Did she really think I was bothered about her feeling 'quite annoyed'? The cheek! I raised from my chair, about to give her a proper Ronnie Mitchell speech. I extended my finger and was just about to begin my rant when, all of a sudden, the nurse approached me.

"Miss Mitchell?" she called, her head poking round the side of the door. I detracted my finger and sunk from my high, confident posture to my normal, everyday posture then looked at her, my heart racing. "Would you like to come see Danielle?"

I didn't see the point in her even asking that question. Before she knew it, I was through the door quicker than a cheetah. However, I soon slowed to a halt. I stood, beginning to shake again. As before, I was unsure of what emotion to express. I just saw her. My Danielle. She was sat upright, her beautiful blonde hair ruffled up at the back due to her head being slumped upon the pillow. Her eyes gazed at me blankly, her expression seemed expressionless. It was this, the blank looks and the lack of expression, which prompted me to wonder if everything was indeed alright. She seemed to not be aware of my presence. And if she was...something was forbidding her to act in a way the normal Danielle would. And then I panicked. Maybe it was just typical me, panicking. But this seemed different. I felt like I was panicking for a reason. What was wrong with my child? What was wrong with _my_ Danielle?!

**Well did you like this chapter? Sorry for the slow updates but I have another story, 'Scarred', which I'm also writing so bare with me! Hope you liked it anyway! Review Please!!**

**Georgina =) **


	3. Chapter 3: One Little Lie

**Here's the 3rd chapter if 'Awake'. Hope you enjoy it. Read and Review!**

**Ronnie POV**

**Chapter 3-Could One Little Lie Really Be _That_ Bad...?**

"What's wrong with her?" I croaked, my voice becoming hoarse as I fought back the mountains of tears. I could see it in the nurse's face. Her eyes became dull and sluggish, her forced smile sunk and a weak, comforting smile grew. I was worried. She swept her hair behind her shoulders then edged nearer to me.

"What's wrong with her?" I repeated myself, my voice level rising in my flurry of concern. She cocked her head forward so that she was peering into my face and gave me a look. She gave me a look so sympathetic, so comforting, that I automatically predicted the worst. As I sat, my arms wrapped around my stomach, I tried ever so hard to prevent the continuous back-flips in my stomach, each and every back-flip making me feel more and more sick with worry.

"What...is...wrong...with...her?" I spoke clearly, the high exasperated cries that one were, were now serious, confident tones that showed the poor, helpless nurse how frustrated I was now becoming.

I watched closely as the weak, forced smile faded from the nurse's face as she studied my stern expression then, realising she had forgotten to maintain her clearly fake smile, quickly sparked the forced, sympathetic smile upon her face once more.

"Miss Mitchell, it's important that you of all people help Danielle right now", the nurse mumbled, almost as a whisper.

"Can you just tell me?!" I bowed my head and clasped my hands together, prepared for the predictably horrific blow to occur, "please".

The nurse sighed then bravely looked me directly in the eyes, "It's amnesia".

I definitely felt the blow as she spoke those words. My chest tightened, my eyes widened and my stomach did an enormous back-flip, even more powerful and stronger than ever ,which caused me to hurl over and clutch my stomach in shock.

"Am..amnesia?!" I could hardly utter the words, I felt so shocked, so confused.

"Yes, Miss Mitchell, but we are unable to determine whether or not the amnesia is temporary or permanent," the nurse sighed.

I took a moment to gaze away from the nurse for a minute, my mind in complete confusion. Amnesia? Could it be true?

"Amnesia..." my thoughts seemed to drift out of my mouth as a hushed whisper, unstoppable.

"Pardon?"

I cleared my throat, "Does she remember...anything?"

The nurse stuttered, seeming to think through her unuttered words before eventually saying them out loud. "She remembers her name, everything else...gone".

I almost burst out crying at this. Danielle, my own daughter, she didn't remember me. After everything, after all this, I was unable to comprehend how she could even forget me. It just hadn't clicked, I guess. I couldn't come to terms with this, her amnesia. I clutched my stomach harder as I thought this over, the pressure of my hand becoming to strong against my stomach that I choked a little, panicking the nurse as I did so.

"Pass a bucket!" I heard the nurse yell. Before I knew it, an orange bucket was placed in front of me, on my knees. I scoffed suddenly, leaving the nurse looking unimpressed. I couldn't help it though, they had passed me an orange bucket...you'd think hospitals would have fancier equipment for someone almost being sick.

The nurse set aside the incident nevertheless. She cleared her throat, shook her head a bit then turned her attention back to me.

"Miss Mitchell, would you like to go and talk to Danielle? We're hoping that anyone she knows-friends, family or even distant acquaintances- can trigger her memory a little, help her on the road to recovery".

"Anything that helps!" I cried, focusing my attention away from the nurse and back on Danielle. There she sat, only a few feet away from me, her blank confused eyes staring back at me.

"Hey Danielle", my voice shook a little. I was just silently praying, praying _so_ hard, that she would remember me. It took a minute, probably longer, before she replied. She kept gazing at me with the same blank expression, the wrinkles on her forehead rippling as her eyes squinted at me, obviously trying her utmost hardest to put a name to the face. And then it changed. That poor, helpless expression transformed into a light-hearted, smiley facial expression.

"Mum!" she cried, her voice echoed round the room, so relieved, so incredibly pleased. Thank god, I thought, _thank god_.

Before I knew what was happening, Danielle had thrown her skinny little arms around me and was hugging me, weeping as she did so. I wept too, my emotions running askew. As we held each other closely, the thought that we'd spent a year apart sinking in, the nurse calmly approached me.

"Miss Mitchell," she whispered into my ear, one hand on my shoulder, "We encourage that you tell Danielle about the past, help her remember various experiences".

Oh great, I thought. A chance to tell Danielle how bad a mother I had been to her, a chance to explain to her the real reason she came to Walford, the real reason she had been in a coma for a whole year, all the reasons...every reason.

"OK", I breathed then sat myself down beside Danielle. I was just about to talk to Danielle, tell her about the past, when I had a sudden thought. A wonder. What if I _wasn't_ to tell Danielle the truth. After all she couldn't remember anything, the past was merely a blur to her. I gazed down at her smiling little face. I felt the warmth, the strong mother/daughter connection between us two. How could I jeopardise that, especially over a stupid mistake that I made a whole year ago? Was it really worth chucking it all away for a second time? Could one little lie really be _that_ bad...?

**Well that was Chapter 3. Find out in Chapter 4 if Ronnie really goes ahead with telling that dangerous lie. I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyway. Review Please!!**

**Georgina =) **


	4. Chapter 4: Forever And For Always?

**Well, this is the 4th chapter of 'Awake'. Hope you enjoy it! R&R!**

**Ronnie POV**

**Chapter 4: Forever And For Always?**

Lies. They're funny little things. Sometimes they get you out of trouble but other times, well, unfortunately they can draw you closer and closer _into _trouble. Big trouble, in fact. The thing is, when you lie you convince yourself it's a white lie. That's when you _know _you're a liar. You know from the simple fact that there is NO such thing as a white lie. A lie is a lie and eventually, the truth WILL unravel. You would think by my age I would have learnt that lesson by now...

"Mum, you're amazing!" I heard Danielle say from beneath her chuckles. I laughed, part of my laugh horribly fake from the retching guilt in the pit of my stomach. Although witnessing her forever gleaming smile, the white of her teeth shining brighter than the sun, I couldn't help but regret everything. Everything I had just told her, the lies.

That's the thing you must understand. I didn't intend to lie to her this way. I didn't intend to lie to her at all. I didn't intend to complicate things any further. None of this, absolutely none of this, was intended.

It was the most selfish thing to do. The most indescribably ridiculous thing to do. But I did it. I told her everything,every lie I could conduct. I took the truth and made it the opposite...lies. Everything that had happened; the car crash, the fact that I never believed that she was my daughter and my terrible, terrible parenting...I lied about the whole thing. I made it seem like we had been a perfect family the whole time. I told her I was the perfect mother....and that she had been the perfect daughter.

"We used to go to the park, Danielle, back when you were just a tiny little child", I had gone into detail, painting a picture so clear, so crystal clear, that it was somehow brilliantly believable. I created a past, the past which would have been ideal for myself.

"You used to sit on the swings and I would rock you back and forth", I had sighed, tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of Danielle's childhood which never was, "Your little giggle...it filled my heart with joy and happiness."

"Tell me more", she had egged me on, noticing my pause.

"You used to be such a daredevil. You would climb up onto the bars of the swings and dangle from them upside down...I would panic, thinking you were in trouble", I put my hand on the side of her head and let the tears pour from my eyes, "I would never have let anything happen to you, Danielle. That car crash, sweetie, it almost killed me seeing you like that. I thought you were gone for good!" I wept into my hands, the tears becoming comforting rather than terrifying. Danielle wrapped her arms around me, creating a shield. A shield of protection, a shield of comfort, the type of shield that would forever shelter our mother/daughter relationship. I knew from then that our bond would forever be secured.

Since that moment, we never spoke. We kept in each others grasp, our arms wrapped comfortingly around each other. And that then brought us to this moment, the moment where Danielle uttered the words that made me feel like I could fight through the lies I was making.

"Mum, you're amazing!" she had said. I drew back my grasp and watched her face. I studied it. Through all my years of torture and suffering, I had developed the ability to judge people, to know when they're lying or not. In this case, I was one hundred percent sure Danielle was serious. She was telling the truth...unlike me.

I was about to reply to her when, all of a sudden, the nurse walked in.

"Miss Mitchell, can I see you for a moment?" she flashed her annoyingly cheery smile at me and with that, I was drawn to say yes.

"Of course", I said mockingly in my cheeriest and poshest voice.

The nurse, however, ignored my inappropriate comment and lead me into the corner of the room.

"Miss Mitchell", she whispered, "we've just discovered...."

I waited for it, predicting my world was about to crumble. You see, it always did. One way or another, news for never a good sign.

"Yes...?" I nudged her on, pressing the truth out of her.

"Well...the amnesia, it's only temporary!"

A smile formed on her face,however, a frown formed on mine. If it was only temporary my lies were about to me uncovered. I glanced at Danielle. The lies...they would tear us apart.

**Enjoy it? It has took me FOREVER to update so I apologize. The next update will be Thursday as tomorrow is my birthday(I'll be 14!) so I can't update then! Please Review me though as I need to know if you guys are still enjoying my writing! Thanks for reading!**

**Georgina =) **


	5. Chapter 5: What Could Have Been

**Here's the 5th chapter of 'Awake' for you! Enjoy!**

**Ronnie POV**

**Chapter 5: What Could Have Been**

I Stood for a minute thinking, thinking of what could have been. Thinking of the life that we could have had. A normal family. A great family. I gazed deep into space as I thought, creating a perfect image in the process. I imagined the moment where Danielle would arrive home and see me for the first time in a long time since being in hospital. What the future _could_ have held...

"_Mum!" Danielle called out as she entered the doorway. _

"_Danielle!" I rushed to hug her and help her in the door but, by the time I arrived, she had already shuffled herself through the doorway and was advancing towards the kitchen area. I grasped her crutches from the palms of her hands and propped them against the side of the staircase. I took her bags from the driver and thanked him for bringing her home safely. I proceeded to the kitchen where Danielle was already seated on the comfy cushioned wooden chairs. _

"_How was your trip?" I smiled, handing her a spare bowl of the vegetable soup I had prepared for her that afternoon. _

"_Not bad", she grinned, taking a large sip of the thick and creamy vegetable soup. _

"_You know", I began, "once your leg is better we can go on holiday. If we gather enough money, I was thinking Australia?" _

_I sipped my soup and waited patiently for her response. _

"_Australia sounds good", she agreed, "But, to be honest, I'm not bothered where we go as long as we get to spend at least SOME mother/daughter time together!"_

"_It's been a while", I admitted. _

"_Don't worry!" she chirped, sensing my suddenly saddened attitude, "There's plenty of time!" _

_We continued to slurp our soup, both of us, myself in particular, thinking over our planned holiday. 'There's plenty of time', that quote stood in mind. We __did__ have plenty of time. The future was ours and a good future, we would make it. _

I sighed. This one thought almost crushing me under pressure. Of course that was only ONE reason. I had thought further and further into the future that could have been...

I stopped myself thinking any further on into these thoughts. _No more_, I told myself, _No more of this stupidity. It's never going to happen now. You blew your opportunity. _I doubled over as these thoughts crossed my mind. I blew my opportunity. I really had.

"Miss Mitchell...Miss Mitchell..." the hushed voices lured me back to reality. I looked at the nurse. She hovered over me nervously then nodded at me as if in attempt to ask if I was alright though she couldn't find the words. I just nodded at her weakly, other things in mind.

"I'm sorry, I need to talk to Danielle...now", I shrugged her hand off of my shoulders and edged towards Danielle.

I sat down beside her bed, admiring the silky bedsheets. _Wrong moment, wrong time_, I assured myself, setting my focus fully upon Danielle.

"Er...Danielle...I need to tell you something..." I began. I drew a deep breath.

"Wait!" She interrupted, grinding my confession to a halt, "I just want to say...thank you".

"Thank you?" I was taken aback. Why on earth would she thank me?

"You opened up to me, mum. You were one hundred percent honest with me and you've just proved to me how amazing my mother truly is".

I forced a grin onto my face. I felt to terrible. So guilty. So disgusted in myself.

"Now what was it you wanted to tell me?" I stammered, my body going into shock. Oh god. What was I to do now?

**Did you enjoy that chapter? Next chapter will be up on Saturday so remember to look out for it! Also, keep reviewing because I need your reviews so I know if you want me to continue! It's my readers opinions that keep my stories going! Anyway, thanks for reading!**

**Georgina =)**


	6. Chapter 6:Frozen

**Here's the 6th chapter of 'Awake'. Hope you enjoy it! R&R!**

**Ronnie POV**

**Chapter 6: Frozen**

I never believe people when they say they were so shocked their body froze solid. Maybe it's just because I'm fussy. It may sound silly, but, I hate expressions such as these, mainly because I doubt anyone's body could _freeze solid_ when in shock. I mean, it just seems physically impossible. Well, that's what I thought...up until today.

At the very moment where Danielle apologised, her words sounding so truthful and sincere, I knew for certain that my predicament was soon to worsen. I felt myself crumble. I closed my eyes in denial and silently wished for the best, wished that everything would somehow work out in its own way. And then came the next hurdle. I realised I would have to answer her. I could have confessed. Or I could have shied from the confession, in other words, I could have to lied.

Maybe that's what it was, maybe it was the decision that triggered it. Who knows! Whatever it was, it caused this; my body suddenly paused, I became unable to control my movements, I literally froze solid in shock. The one thing I held doubt upon, the one thing I was one hundred percent certain could _never_ physically happen...happened!

I stood still, frozen, only my eyes moving to scan the room.

"Mum?" Danielle's voice echoed through my head, exasperated.

The nurse hurried over, shaking me rapidly.

"I...I...", I mumbled, now able to move,however, still shaking like a leaf, "Danielle...I..."

"What?" she pressed her hand on my arm, as if in attempt to prevent me from shaking even more.

I looked at her, still undecided of what to do. Her innocent eyes reflected into my lying and deceiving ones.

I sighed, "nothing..."

And so the lying game began. I knew it was going to unravel. I knew it had to. I did realise that. While my head was filled my disappointment and regret, I found myself visualizing the future. However, this time, I was visualizing a moment that could indeed determine the rest of my life...

"_HOW COULD YOU?" she grabbed the vase from the side table and launched it at me, full force. "How fucking could you?" _

_I ducked, missing the vase by an inch. "I am so sorry, Danielle!" I cried, becoming a wimp as I shrugged myself into the corner of the room. _

"_You lied! You lied about EVERYTHING! How? Why?" her voice lowered nearing the end and I began to see how hurt and confused she was really feeling._

"_I couldn't...it was too hard, Danielle! Too damn hard!"_

_Danielle, having none of this, stormed for the door. She stopped, only for a a brief second, then spun round to face me once more. _

"_Ronnie," she said, her voice bitter and hurt, "I never want to see you EVER again!" _

_She slammed the door shut, the glass of the door shaking as if about to shatter. And as I listened to the still sounds of silence, I wept tears of regret. Tears I hoped I would never encounter again. _

I sighed, my chest beginning to tighten. How could I do this to my daughter? How could I continue on with the lies that were probably soon going to unravel. How could I-

"Veronica?" I soft, chilling voice interrupted my thoughts. A cold, threatening hand was lowered onto my shoulder. I looked up slowly, sheer terror mounting on me. As I turned, I caught sight of the eyes. The terrifying, killer eyes. And he held his other hand onto mine. I was too afraid to pull my hand back, too startled. This meant all the running, all the hiding, had all been for nothing. He was back. He was back and lurking in the depths of my shadows, towering over me and torturing me silently. Even Ibiza couldn't help me escape from him. From _that_ man. From the man that taunted me wherever I went, whatever I did.

"Hello Dad...".

**Well, did you enjoy that chapter? I haven't mentioned Ibiza in a while now and I suppose you may have forgotten about it but, don't be fooled, what happened in Ibiza is soon to be exposed in my story. And I know what you're thinking, 'what's Archie doing there?' well, don't worry! It will all be explained in further chapters! Anyway, thanks for reading! Please Review! **

**Georgina =)**


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EastEnders, Drama, Hurt-Comfort