Fairy Tail 1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I don't own Fairy Tail, and I'm not receiving any profit for this story.**

**A/N This will be a 2-3 chapter story. There are a few things in here that aren't part of the actual show (such as Lisanna's fear of lobsters) and a few things I don't think could happen in real life (such as the deoderant catching fire) so you'll have to use your imagination.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :D**

* * *

When Lucy shoved open the doors of the Fairy Tail Guild in the morning, she had, in no shape or form, could have ever predicted what would happen next.

"Luccccccyyyyyyy" Natsu hollered, charging over to her, "It's terrible! There's no food!"

"No food?" Lucy echoed, only half paying attention. It was eight in the morning, dammit, and while Natsu was a natural morning person, Lucy was not.

"The world's going to end!" Happy was flying over their heads, screaming as loud as he could, "No fish! There's no fish! No fish for me, no fish for Charle, no fish for anyone, and there's NO FISH!"

"Happy!" Lucy exclaimed, massaging her forehead in a useless attempt to stop an oncoming headache, "Stop screaming! You're too loud!"

"Tell me about it" Gray stormed over, a cold mist forming around his wrists, threatening to form icicles depending on where this conversation went. He, like Natsu, was also an early riser, "The flame brain hasn't stopped yelling for the past ten minutes"

"Shut up, you snowball! This is really bad. There's no food" Natus repeated, staring at Gray as though he had grown another head, "Why aren't you panicking?"

"'Cause I'm not little girl who can't go without food for two seconds"

As soon as he finished saying this, his stomach grumbled. Loudly. He looked away, embarrassed, as Natsu started laughing his head off.

"Don't worry Gray-sama!" Juvia said soothingly, appearing out of nowhere, "Juvia will happily make Gray-sama breakfast!" she ended it with a squeal, her eyes going misty as she began to fantasize.

_'Juvia' a shirtless Gray with thick eyelashes and warm blue eyes looked up at a blushing Juvia weakly, 'It hurts. I can't go on any longer'_

_'D-don't worry Gray-sama! Juvia will help! H- hang in there!' A flushed Juvia encouraged._

_'I'm not talking about food, Juvia' Gray whispered, pulling Juvia in close, 'I'm hungry for you!'_

"Kyaaaaaaah!" Juvia screamed, clutching her heart, "Gray-sama, stop! Wait until we're married and have bought a house!"

Gray jerked back, "W-w-w- what are you saying? I-i-i- I don't get it..."

"No fish! No fish! No fish!" Happy wailed, sounding incredibly similar to the repetitive wail of an ambulance.

Lucy sighed, then said, "Well, why don't we just go to the supermarket?"

Absolute silence. Somehow, above the noise, the entire guild had heard her. Happy froze mid flight and stared at her, jaw hanging low.

"G-go to the supermarket?" Natsu echoed numbly.

"Yeah" said Lucy irritably, "Y'know, that big one across the road from the hospital. They sell a lot of stuff there. We'd be able to stock up"

The silence ensued for a few more painful seconds, then Natsu lunged at Lucy and strangled her in a bear-hug, "Lucy, you're so smart!" He cried out in jubilation, tears of relief streaming down his face, "The crisis has been averted. The world is saved! We have food!"

He released her from the hug just as spontaneously as he had instigated it, then turned to the airborne Exceed, "Isn't this great, Happy! Let's go shopping!"

"Aye sir!"

They took off, running straight out of the guild. Or at least, they were, until two armor clad hands grasped them by their backs.

"Natsu, Happy" Erza reprimanded, "Before you do battle, you must make a plan. Come, we shall write the shopping list"

In unison, they shouted, "Aye!"

* * *

"H-how did this happen again, Levy-chan?" Lucy asked her bluenette friend weakly.

"We were out of food, so you told Happy and Natsu to go shopping" Levy recounted perfectly, as always, "Before they could go, Erza made them write a shopping list. But no-one in the guild liked her suggestions, because they were too nutritional and beneficial. So now, the entire guild is going shopping so everyone can get what they want"

"Oh, Mavis, I thought I was dreaming" Lucy groaned, "Levy-chan, this is going to be terrible. Why did I suggest this?"

"Lu-chan, don't be so pessimistic!" Levy said, "It's just shopping. I'm sure it'll be fine"

Lucy slumped, "I doubt that"

They walked around the corner, and came face to face with the shopping centre. It was worse than Lucy could've imagined.

They were only two minutes later than everyone else, yet the supermarket looked like a war zone. Windows were cracked, and there was large, gaping hole where a wall should've been, which allowed Lucy and Levy to see inside. After standing still in pure, stunned shock, they ran inside.

The first person Lucy saw was Natsu, "Natsu!" She scolded, snatching away a pack of matches from him, "What are you doing? Have you paid for these?"

"Paid for these? Why would I pay for them?" He questioned, confused. In his right hand he held a flaming match, which he popped into his mouth, devouring the flame in an instant and spitting out the stick.

"W-why would you pay for them?" Lucy shrieked, outraged, "Oh, I don't know. Why would you pay for a house? Why would you pay for a book? Why would you pay for ANYTHING AT ALL!?"

"Lucy, you're being weird again" Natsu not so helpfully pointed out, snatching back the pack of matches. He took out a match and immediately lit it up perfectly on the first try.

"Oh, I'm being weird, am I?" She hissed, grabbing the pack of matches back from him, "Being a sensible, law abiding citizen? I'm the weird one?"

"Yeah" he told her, "You are. And stop taking my matches!" He swiped them out of her grasp and held them high, out of her reach. She stood on her tip-toes desperately trying to reach the pack. However, she lost her balance and fell against him.

"Give them!" She wailed, "They're not yours! You haven't paid for them!"

"GRAY-SAMA, SMELL JUVIA! DOESNT JUVIA SMELL WONDERFUL!?"

This odd statement made them both pause, still pressed against each other as they watched the developing scene in front of them.

Juvia had two cans of deodorant in each hand, and she was frantically spraying it all over her body as she chased after a horrified Gray.

"No! Stay back!" Gray shrieked, running faster than was humanly possible, "Go away!"

Juvia dropped the cans and started running faster, "Gray-sama, wait for Juvia! Is Gray-sama trying to be hard to get, like the magazines warned Juvia? Ahh! How wonderful! That means Gray-sama is secretly in love with Juvia!"

Natsu started laughing uncontrollably, "He sounded like a little girl! What a loser!"

The laugh reverberated throughout his entire body. There was no consequence to this, except that Lucy, whose head was currently pressed against that _oh so wonderful chest..._ felt it, and that combined with the scent that was so inexplicably _Natsu_, sent the color rushing to her cheeks.

"Get away from me!" She screeched, face flushed. She jumped back, her hands shoving into his really nice chest with considerable strength as she struggled to get away.

"Lucy, what are you- woaaaahhh!" He toppled over, dropping the currently alight match into the sea of deodorant that Juvia had left behind. The deodorant immediately lit up, letting off a scent not unfamiliar to scented candles.

"Natsu, that stuffs flammable! What were you thinking?" She shouted, "Do you want to burn down the entire building?"

"I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't pushed me!"

"And I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't been eating stolen matches!"

"I wasn't eating the matches!"

"Oh, then what ate them? Did the floor eat them? Did the ceiling eat them? Oh wait, I know, the packet ate them!"

"I didn't eat the matches! I ate the fire! There's a difference"

Their quarrel was stopped by Erza, "Who started the fire?" she demanded, storming over to Natsu, grabbing him by his shirt and holding him up to her eye-level, "Natsu, why would you do something like this?"

"It wasn't me!" He protested feebly, "It was Lucy!"

"Don't lie! Why would Lucy start a fire?" Erza scolded, "Go! Fix it! Eat it quickly, before it burns anything important!"

She then threw him into the rapidly escalating blaze.

"But Erza!" He whined, "I don't wanna! It smells disgusting!"

The Requip Mage summoned a sword into her palm and pointed it at his throat. Natsu swallowed, eying the blade warily, as though weighing his options, then began to eat the flames. Only when all the flames were eaten did she sheath her sword. Ezra's methods were unorthodox, but effective. Apart from a few scorch marks, the main disaster was gone.

Natsu fell over, groaning and clutching his stomach, "That tasted horrible" he moaned.

"Lucy" Erza rounded on the blonde celestial Mage.

"Y-yes?"

"Take him home. He needs rest. We will get the rest of the food"

"But Erza-"

It was useless protesting. "Go!" Erza snapped.

"A-Aye!"

* * *

_A few minutes earlier_-

Levy ran along with Lucy into the increasing disaster that was the Fairy Tail shopping trip. Her eyes saw one person and immediately focused on him, and she bolted over there, dimly registering that her blonde friend was no longer beside her.

"Gajeel! What are you doing?" She scolded, snatching the crowbar he'd been gnawing on, "You know that eating stainless makes you sick! And did you pay for that?"

"Calm down, shorty" Gajeel said lazily, eying the fiery bluenette in front of him. On a first glance, Levy did not appear frightening. She was petite, and, Gajeel grudgingly supposed, kinda... Cute, too. However, after taking a second glance, it was obvious she had a bit of bite to her. Like a kitten, Gajeel reckoned. Soft and cute and cuddly but if you step on its tail then its claws are out and its hackles are raised.

Those hackles were definitely raised now. Because of worry. Because of worry for him, "I will not calm down!" She glared, "Haven't you seen what's going on? It's a disaster!"

Gajeel glanced around, taking in the scene properly for the first time since he'd entered the store. Juvia was chasing after Gray with bottles of deodorant, spraying herself so intensely that a trail of deodorant was left behind her. Elfman was filling his cart with sports drinks and coffee, shouting "Energy is manly!". Evergreen was trailing after him, shouting something incomprehensible. Salamander was eating fire while Bunny-girl tried to stop him. Happy was over by the deli, stuffing his face with fish whilst Charle put herbal tea in her shopping cart and informed him that 'This isn't the time for that!'

He looked over to the other side of the centre, and saw Makarov looking at a magazine of Sorceror weekly (most likely the modeling page). Mirajane was beside him, holding a gossip magazine and squealing to her younger sister about 'how surprising the couples are!'. Cana had found her way to the alcohol section and was drinking herself senseless, whilst Macao and Wakaba tried to flirt with the terrified workers. The workers had huddled themselves into a corner, watching the events unfold with morbid fascination.

He returned his gaze to Levy, and admitted, "Yeah, it is pretty bad. What did ya expect?"

At his admission, Levy calmed somewhat. '_And just like that'_ Gajeel thought to himself, _'The claws are sheathed'_

"I don't know what I expected" she sighed, "Just not this. Anyway, stop distracting me! I've told you a million times to stop eating stainless steel! It's not good for you! It messes with your diet and you know it!"

"Why do you care?" Gajeel demanded, "It's my diet, it's got nothin to do with you"

Levy blushed, her face burning a deep crimson as she crossed her arms and feigned indifference, "I don't care!" She scoffed, "Do what you want!"

They stood still for a few seconds, at an impasse, as they usually ended up being in. As always, it ended with one of them relenting.

"Fine" Gajeel rolled his eyes, "I won't eat the stainless steel. You happy now, Shorty?"

"I'm not happy because I didn't care in the first place!"

"Then why did you tell me to stop eating it?"

Her voice wavered, then became firm, "Principle?"

"Principle?" He repeated, dumbfounded.

"Yes! Morals, values and principles! We've had this conversation before, Gajeel, and I think we need to have it again!"

Gajeel found himself panicking. It wasn't that he was _scared_. He was powerful, the big bad wolf. He was the top of the food chain, the main predator. Others feared him. But Levy's lectures...

He had a full body shudder just thinking about it. She either screamed at him- and damn, she had a set of lungs on her- making him feel like the worst person alive, or she used giant words that he would never ever understand. And if he argued, or God forbid, answered back, she would grab whatever weapon was closest to her (usually a book) and beat him senseless with it. And those books hurt. They were giant books, with hundreds of pages, and Gajeel was powerless to fight back because he wasn't a bad guy. He wouldn't hurt a female, let alone his own nakama.

But damn, when the kitten drew her claws, she was out for blood.

"No, I think I understood it the first time" he winced, his head hurting at the mere suggestion of one of Levy's torturous lectures, "You don't have to remind me"

"I think I sho-"

She was interrupted by the rapidly rising voices of Lucy and Natsu. They looked over towards the squabbling pair who seemed oblivious to the fire that was steadily escalating beside them. Erza stormed over to them and barked orders at Natsu, who was then forced to swallow the foul-smelling flames. Even though there was a distance between Gajeel and the flames, he could smell them from where he stood. They were putrid, climbing into his nose and blocking off all other scents.

He coughed, "What is that?"

Levy frowned, then grabbed Gajeel's arm, her nails digging in, "Poor Natsu, he looks terrible. Those flames must taste awful"

"They smell it" Gajeel growled, trying to regain control over his breathing. A pleasant smell invaded his nostrils, something of a mix of lemon and... Something else. Gajeel never was too good at the whole identifying different scents. There were too many names to remember.

He focused, and realized it was coming from... The petite, blue haired girl who was clutching his arm in a death grip. Specifically, her hair.

"Your hair smells nice" he murmured unconsciously, before realizing what he said and freezing.

Levy's nails dug deeper into his arm, if that was possible, "What?"

A light pink blush dusted his cheeks. He looked away, "What? Your hair smells nice. Did ya buy something expensive? Ya shouldn't waste money like that, y'know. You'd smell good no matter what you use" he was rambling now, and was relieved when Levy interrupted him.

"G-g-Gajeel!" Levy exclaimed, blushing darker than he'd ever seen on her face before, "s-s-s-st-st-st-stop sniffing me!"

"I wasn't doing it on purpose!" He retorted.

She buried her face into the arm she was clutching, "Thanks" she whispered, a small, beautiful smile gracing her face. All of a sudden, Gajeel felt really uncomfortable, like he'd been stuck in a cage. His heart beat was out of control, and his breathing was irregular. Trying to calm himself, he took a deep, slow, breath.

And the smell of her hair wafted into his nose, reminding him just why he'd been embarrassed in the place.

"It's like a never ending cycle" he muttered darkly.

"What?" She looked up at him, her eyes shining. She looked so genuinely happy, standing so close to him, clutching his arm. Oh, what the hell. She might as well stay there. It wasn't hurting anybody.

"Nothing" he said gruffly, "Look, bunny-girls taking the Salamander home. Wanna help me shop so we can head home soon too?"

She beamed, though her face turned a shade darker, "Sure!"

He got a few odd stares, but it didn't matter. If they were confused as to why the big bad wolf was hanging around with a kitten, that was their problem. At least he'd avoided one of Levy's lectures.

* * *

Meanwhile-

"Juvia, stop!" Gray yelled, "I will NOT smell you. Cut it out!"

"Gray-sama, you must advise Juvia on how to smell so that when we are married there will be no issues!"

He stopped running. They'd been running around the supermarket, and Juvia had still not left him alone, so Gray realized that the only option left was to stand and fight.

"Gray-sama!" Juvia called out happily, running towards him with her arms spread out wide. As soon as she was close enough, she was going to lunge at him and envelope him in a crushing hug which she hoped would convey her never-ending love for him.

Just as she was about to make the leap for him, however, two attractive looking women sauntered over to Gray and started talking to him. Juvia froze mid-jump and fell. She lifted her head quickly, staring at them in horror.

"You're THE Gray Fullbuster, right?" One smiled slyly, running a finger over his bare chest (he'd left his shirt somewhere during the chase from Juvia), "The one who uses ice-magic?"

"Uh, yeah" Gray muttered, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"It doesn't suit you" her friend said, tracing a finger around his jaw, "You're way too hot to be an ice magic user. Say, are you free tonight?"

"LOVE-RIVAL!" Juvia screamed, scrambling to her feet, "WATER-SLICER!"

Gray's eyes widened, "Juvia, wait!"

"GRAAAAHH!" Juvia launched a sharp, deadly blade of boiling water at the love-rivals.

"Ice-make: Shield!" He called out, splaying both palms in front of his body. The boiling water hit the ice and it melted, the steam filling the room with a hiss.

The two girls started screaming and sprinted away from the obviously agitated Juvia. Anyone would've done the same thing in their position; Juvia had a deadly aura emitting from her, and her eyes were narrowed into slits of pure rage.

"Juvia" Gray said, walking over to her one step at a time, arms raised in surrender, "It's okay. Just calm down"

"Love-rivals, bitches, ugly" Juvia muttered, water swirling around her, "Trying to steal Gray-sama away from me... Hah! As if Gray-sama would be interested in the likes of them"

"Oi, Juvia, snap out of it" Gray took another step closer, "C'mon, pull yourself together"

Juvia looked up at him, hurt replacing the anger on her features, "Gray-sama?" Juvia asked, distraught, "How could you let them touch you? How could you protect them? They are filthy, not worthy of your time-"

"Knock it off, Juvia!" Gray glared, "I'm a mage of Fairy Tail. In case you haven't noticed, we don't stand around and let innocents get killed. You should know this by now, Juvia!"

Juvia flinched, "Yes" she said sadly, "I know. But when Juvia saw those... People, touching you, Juvia got angry. I beg your forgiveness, Gray-sama"

"And that's another thing" Gray continued, exasperated, "Stop treating me like I'm the worlds savior or something. I'm no-one special, Juvia. You shouldn't be willing to kill people for touching me- heck, you shouldn't be killing people for me at all! I'm just me, Juvia. I'm not worth your love, or whatever this is"

"Your wrong, Gray-sama!" Juvia protested, "Gray-sama is kind, and gentle, and he is worth all of Juvia's love!"

"No, you're wrong Juvia!" Gray took a step closer, "I'm not. You've just said that I'm kind and gentle. When have I ever been kind and gentle to you?"

"You shouldn't have to ask, Gray-sama! You always are!"

"When, Juvia?"

She paused, staring at him, trying to call forth a sufficient answer. She couldn't.

"Exactly" Gray said, "Juvia, are you sure you actually love me? Or do you love your fantasies of me?"

It struck Gray as odd, that he was finally talking to Juvia about her romantic feelings for him inside of a supermarket.

"I love you, Gray-sama" Juvia said, and the conviction in her voice made Gray's eyes widen a fraction, "Juvia loves Juvia's fantasies of Gray-sama, but Juvia loves the real Gray-sama more. So please, don't let people touch Gray-sama like that again" Juvia gave a full body shudder, "Please grant Juvia that one piece of selfish desire"

"Juvia..." Gray murmured, stunned. Of course, he hadn't been oblivious to Juvia's feelings before, but he hadn't realized that they'd been so real. He'd thought for sure Juvia was in love with the idea of him, not the real him. And all of a sudden, it felt as though a huge burden had been placed upon him. Mavis, this girl was actually in love with him. Even though he'd been nothing but a douche to her, "I'm sorry" he apologized, sincere, "I'm sorry for treating you the way I have. I'll try to change"

Juvia waved her arms around in panic, "Don't do that, Gray-sama!" She protested, "Juvia loves Gray-sama the way he is now!"

"Please, grant me that one piece of selfish desire" he said, quoting her.

Juvia stared at him, then smiled and bowed, "Of course, whatever you wish, Gray-sama"

"Whatever I wish?" He echoed, grinning, "Firstly, cut the Gray-sama. Just call me Gray. Secondly, if you want to talk to me, don't hide behind a pole and stalk me, just walk up and-"

"Wait, Gray-sama!" Juvia interupted, "Let Juvia find a notepad. Juvia must take notes!"

* * *

Makarov sighed as he viewed the wreckage of the shopping center. This was most definitely going to require paperwork, and Makarov hated paperwork. Especially ones about reparation costs and reasons for wreckage- those were especially tedious, asking stupid questions like, '_When did the incident take place?_' Or, '_Where did the incident take place?'_

The answers Makarov put were, respectively, '_When the giant explosion was heard'_ and _'Wherever that spoiled brat Natsu is'_

According to the council, these answers were not satisfactory. But after years of answering the exact same questions repeatedly, Makarov's patience was long gone. It was replaced by a weary reluctance that there would never be another person whom he could entrust Fairy Tail to. After all, they were his brats, and his problems. He just wished they weren't his paperwork.

"Master?" Mirajane asked, a beautiful smile gracing her face. She was holding up two different detergents, "Which one should I buy?"

He pointed to the one on the right, "That one"

Honestly, he had no clue what either of them where. But since this was the fourteenth time Mira had asked for his opinion on all sorts of mundane items, Makarov had decided to pick the item on the right every time. It saved him a headache.

"I see! Good choice, Master!" Mira beamed, placing the detergent in her basket. She then began to hum a tune unknown to Makarov as she continued to browse through the items.

"Hey, Mira-nee" Lisanna asked, "We need milk, don't we?"

"Ah, you're right, we do!"

"Before that" Makarov sighed, "Can you go stop Cana? She's had a bit too much to drink"

The Strauss sisters glanced over to the liquor section, but Cana was no where to be found.

"Not there" Makarov corrected, pointing over to the deli section, "There"

Cana was clutching a bottle in her hand, threatening the shopkeeper. She waved the bottle around in agitation, then pointed at the lobster section. The shopkeeper was saying something, though he was clearly intimidated by the drunk Fairy Tail mage.

Mirajane walked over to her, "My, my, Cana, what's wrong?"

"They're keeping the lobsters here!" Cana slurred, her body swaying in different directions as she tried to keep her balance, "They're keeping the lobsters here against their will!

"Yeah, they are, Cana" Lisanna said, puzzled, "This is the deli section. They sell seafood"

"How can there be democracy if the lobsters don't have a vote!" Cana demanded, pointing her bottle at the mildly attractive shopkeeper, "Just because you're hot, doesn't mean execution is fair!"

Mirajane grabbed one of Cana's arms and started leading her away, "Cana, let's leave for now, okay? We'll free the lobsters some other time"

With surprising force, Cana pulled her arm away from Mirajane and half ran, half toppled towards the bucket with lobsters. She crashed into it, and the lobsters spilled out, crawling all over the floor.

"M-Mira-nee!" Lisanna screamed, pointing at the lobsters, "Get rid of them! I hate lobsters"

Cana glared, "All living creatures deserve liberty! Whether you like them or not!" She lunged at Lisanna and the two fell to the floor. It turned into an epic cat fight, with sharp nails and both sides yanking each other's hair.

"Get off me!" Lisanna screeched, "Let me get up! They'll crawl on me! We're right next to them! Cana, you bitch, get off of me!"

"No!" The drunk Cana hollered, "Let them crawl on you! Let them crawl over your hate in their righteous quest for freedom!"

"When did you become an activist for animal rights!?"

They were so engaged in their fight that they didn't notice Mirajane transform into Satan Soul. She stormed over to them and grabbed them up by the front of their shirts.

"Enough!" She commanded, and both girls nodded fearfully, "Cana, you know Lisanna hates lobsters! Put one near my sister again and I will kill you. Slowly" she then rounded in Lisanna, "Lisanna! Don't ever fight like that again! I thought I taught you that violence doesn't solve anything!"

"That's just 'cause you're a wimpy pacifist" Cana said, her voice surprisingly clear despite her inebriated state, "You wouldn't hurt a fly, you wuss"

It took Mirajane ten seconds to prove Cana wrong.

"C-Cana! Are you okay?"

"Okay? I'm okay. I'm fine" Cana was rocking in the corner, the lobsters she'd freed crowding around her, forming a protective circle of comfort, "Mirajane isn't scary. She isn't scary at all"

Lisanna would've comforted her, but Cana was surrounded by lobsters, so she stayed away. Looking around for her older sister, she saw that Mirajane was now back in normal form and speaking comfortingly to the shopkeeper, who looked both flattered by the attention of a woman as pretty as Mirajane and frightened by what he'd seen her do moments earlier.

Lisanna watched the scene and smiled. There was nowhere else she'd rather be.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-

"Ugh" Lucy groaned, as she dragged the barely-conscious and very heavy Natsu on her back, "Why do I have to take Natsu home? It's not my fault he started a fire!" After pausing for a moment, she said, more to herself, "Well, okay, maybe it was kinda my fault, but it's Natsu's fault, too! He was the one eating stolen matches! Although matches aren't that expensive..." She trailed off, her voice quietening, and then, louder, "But it's the principle that counts! If you steal a little thing, you're definitely going to steal a big- Natsu, stop moving! You're tilting too much, and- Natsu, I'm not a vehicle, how are you getting motion sick- WOAH, STOP NATSUUUU!"

She tumbled down, Natsu's weight falling on top of her. Her nose smashed down onto the concrete and she yelped in pain, her eyes filling with reflexive tears. Blinking through them, she saw something red dripping onto the concrete. Blood. Her blood. Her blood from her broken nose.

"Natshuuu!" She mumbled, her mouth pressed against the concrete, "Ge offa me"

He didn't answer, didn't move. Lucy started to panic. Mavis, she was trapped and her nose was broken and there was blood everywhere and since when did noses bleed so much and why was she here, trapped under Natsu while she slowly bled to death?

'_Get a grip_' she ordered herself, '_You've been hysterical all day. You're not going to die. Now get up'_

She tried, she really did, but Natsu was way too heavy. Seriously, he was all rock hard and heavy muscle, not a bit of any fat on him. Not even his stomach, which Lucy thought was highly unfair considering the amount he ate.

"Nashu" She said, muffled, then forced her head up, off of the concrete and spoke more clearly, "Natshu. I need you to get off of me now!"

Her stern voice seemed to jolt him awake. Her voice sounded different because of the broken nose, but Natsu didn't seem to notice. In fact, he didn't seem to notice anything other than his own predicament.

"Lucy?" He murmured, "Where am I? My stomach feels weird..."

"Natsu, get off of me right now or I swear I won't take you out to lunch for an entire month!"

"Huh? Lunch?" Lucy couldn't see him, but she imagined she could see his eyes lighting up with interest. She mentally sighed. Of course food would wake him up.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Lucy screamed, at the end of her patience, and he yelped and rolled off of her. Finally free, Lucy immediately sat up. Looking down at her clothes, she moaned. There were drops of blood everywhere. Quickly covering her still-bleeding nose with the palm of her right hand, she glared at Natsu.

And then her glare softened.

He was lying on the concrete, his face twisted in agony. She knew how much eating anything other than his element and food hurt him; she'd seen it when he'd ate the Etherion, after all. It wasn't his fault she'd broken her nose.

Hand still over her nose, she looked around. They were about two minutes walk from her apartment. He initial objective had been to take him to his house, but it wasn't like she could do that now. Besides, Natsu was always saying he liked her room.

"Alright" she said to herself, "I'll take Natsu to my apartment, then I'll stop by and see Wendy, and... Oh, wait, Wendy's on a mission... Guess I'll have to to go to the hospital.."

Realizing that sitting on the street clutching her broken nose and pondering her situation wasn't the best thing to do, she stood up and tried to pull Natsu on her back again. And failed.

"Moe!" She whined, "Erza put him on my back the first time, and there's no way I can lift him in my back without her. No way..." She murmured glumly, still trying to pull the heavy Natsu up.

Then a brilliant idea came to her.

"Open, gate of the lion! Leo!"

"Ah, Lucy. Of course you wanted to see me again, but you cannot call me simply for the pleasure of my company. Only call on me in serious-" he froze, realizing for the first time the blood dripping through Lucy's fingers, the unconscious Natsu on the floor, "What happened?" He demanded, looking warily around, "Were you attacked?"

"Nope, not attacked," Lucy said dryly, wondering just how in the world had her life gotten to a stage where if she had a broken nose people assumed she'd been attacked, "Natsu just tried to do some shopping"

Loke gave her a strange look, "So you need my help in picking out immaculate suits?"

"No, I just need you to carry Natsu to my apartment. He's too heavy for me"

"Oh, but Lucy, I'd much rather carry _you_" Loke smiled, "To our bright future"

"No, you're carrying Natsu to my apartment" Lucy corrected, "Now hurry up. I think I'll faint from blood loss"

And that was how a disgruntled Loke carried an unconscious and drooling Natsu to Lucy's apartment. Once there, Lucy immediately ran to her bathroom to survey the damage.

"Agh, crap!" She cursed, "It looks awful"

She washed her face, but it send a sharp pain through her nose. Wincing, she grabbed a tissue and began dabbing away the mixed blood and water. It was terrible, and her heart sank. She'd have to go the hospital, where they'd ask all sorts of odd questions, especially ones about her parents.

"Ah, Lucy, are you okay? You've been in there for a while"

It was Loke. He still hadn't gone.

"I'm fine" she called, "Thanks, Loke. You can go now"

"Regulus impact!"

Lucy shrieked as she dodged to avoid her flying door. It flew right above the bath, and when Loke entered he found her sitting in the bathroom sink. She'd jumped into it to avoid the door.

"What are you doing?" He asked, "The sinks not a chair"

Lucy stared at him. Then turned her head and stared at her now broken door. Then stared at him again.

"Loke" she finally said, "Why did you break my door?"

"The lock wouldn't open" he said, "And I'm going to fix your nose for you"

"You can fix my nose?" She repeated, baffled, "Wow, what do they teach you in the Celestial World?"

"First aid" he said blandly, before pressing a frozen bag of peas against her nose. The cold was biting, but it numbed her nose quickly, "Here. Hold this against your nose"

Still in shock, she nodded. He left the bathroom, then walked back in with a cup of water and painkillers. She gulped them down, then continued to hold the frozen peas to her nose. Loke surveyed the damage to her nose, then quickly gave her his diagnosis.

"It's not too bad" he said, prodding at her nose. She hissed in pain, "I don't think you need to go to the hospital. The swelling should go away in about a week-"

"A week!?" Lucy panicked, "I'm going to go around with my nose like this for a week?"

"And the bruising should go away in two weeks" Loke continued, "But if anything happens, or if you feel like you can't breathe, you should probably go to the hospital. Or Wendy, if she's back from her mission by then"

Lucy hesitated, and Loke's eyes softened, "I know you don't want to go, because they'll ask about your parents and your financial background. But you can't avoid going to the hospital for the rest of your life"

Lucy breathed out slowly, "You're right. Thanks, Loke"

"Anytime" he flashed her a grin, "Whenever your nose is better, call me. I'll make sure you have a better time" he winked.

"Yep, I'll keep in my mind" Lucy sighed, although there was a tilt to her lips, "Now, can I get off of this sink? Like you said, it's not a chair"

And that's when things started to go wrong.

It is, as you can imagine, very hard to get down from a bathroom sink, especially in a bathroom as small as Lucy's (well, it was a one-bedroom apartment, and Lucy didn't think she'd needed a giant bathroom when she'd rented it). So when Lucy tried to get down with only one hand (the other hand mashing the frozen peas to her nose) she understandably slipped. And Loke, who had been standing in front of her, was knocked back by her weight, and the momentum carried them both into the bathtub.

_CRASH_!

"Agh, Loke, get off of me! I can't believe this is happening to me again! Twice in one day I've been fallen on top of!"

"What're you talking about, you're on top of me!"

"Wha- just move over so I can lift my arm- OW!

"Why'd you turn the bath on for?"

"I didn't do it on purpose! My arm slipped because there's no room in this bathtub, because you broke my door and it fell in here!"

"Oh, don't blame me. Your bathtub is already small without the broken door in it!"

There was a shuffling from Lucy's bedroom, something neither of them noticed, caught up as they were in their own predicament.

"Loke, look, if you just move your leg-"

"I can't, because you're lying on top of it!"

"Well obviously I can't move because you're sitting on my legs! What'd you expect me to do?"

"Well, maybe if you dropped that bag of peas for a second, turned this stupid bath off, because the waters getting really hot now, we could get out!"

"I can't drop this bag of peas! If I do, what if the swelling lasts two weeks? I can't go more than one week with my nose looking like a balloon!"

The water had filled half the bathtub now. The shuffling from Lucy's bedroom grew louder, and unsteady footsteps began to approach the bathroom.

"Lucy, why didn't you listen to me when I told you to start eating salad? Honestly, you're so heavy it's-"

_Bang_!

"Ow! That hurt! How can you still hit me but not turn this water off?"

"Mavis, you're an idiot! I'm not fat!"

And then Lucy made the mistake of looking down. The clothes she had been wearing that day were mainly white. And when white gets wet, it becomes very easy to see through.

Lucy's face turned the same color as her bra. A light crimson. She immediately started wiggling harder, "Loke!" She wailed, "You need to get off of me right now!"

The footsteps grew louder still, until there was a figure in the doorframe, where the door used to be and a voice, Natsu's voice, "What's going on?"

Lucy's head whipped toward the doorframe, and her cheeks got redder still as she realized what this must've looked like, "It's not what you think it is!" She explained quickly, and a small part of her wonder why she was so concerned about what Natsu thought of her chastity, "I broke my nose, and Loke was just helping me, and-"

And then suddenly she broke off. Looking at Natsu's dazed look, and then looking at Loke's face, inches from her own, she felt bubbles of hysteria rising within her.

And then she started laughing.

She laughed so hard she couldn't breathe, and the tears were streaming down her face. She laughed, and tried to breathe air though her nose, and then she remembered it was broken, and she laughed even more. And when she felt a sharp jab into her ribs, she looked down, and saw a piece of what was once her door, and she finally just lost it.

Loke, as if finally realizing he could force his gate shut, said, "She's nuts" before disappearing back into the Celestial world, leaving only a few golden sparks of magic in his place. Lucy was still laughing when Natsu walked over to her, turned off the bath, and pulled her out of the tub. He looked annoyed somehow, and his dark eyes seemed even darker than usual.

However, when he spoke to her, it was gently, "Here" he said, handing her a towel.

It was thoughtful, nice, and out of character, "Thanks" she said, wrapping the towel around her body. She shivered. Now that she was out of the bath, the air felt cold.

And then before she realized what was happening, or before she could stop him, Natsu had his arms around her and had drew her into his chest. She knew that she should stop him, she should try to get away from him, but he was so warm, and so comfortable, she didn't want to. Exhaling, she let herself sink into him, and she almost forgot all of her problems.

Almost.

"Ow! Shit!" She reeled, clutching her nose. Natsu released her, and the moment was lost, "My nose!"

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned, "What happened to your nose? If it was that bastard Loke-"

"You happened to my nose!" Lucy exclaimed, "I totally forgot, I'm supposed to be holding an ice pack to make the swelling go down!"

She dropped the towel and lunged back into the bath, triumphantly retrieving a luke-warm mushy bag of peas.

"Uh, Lucy" Natsu said, "I don't think that's going to work"

Lucy paused, examined the peas, then nodded glumly, "You're right"

And then, realizing that he was standing there, looking at her, and her clothes were see though and-

"Natsu, you pervert!" She screamed, "Get out! I'm not decent!"

He winced, "Why? It's not like I haven't seen you before"

It was the wrong thing to say. All the mortifying memories of her indecent clothing being torn to shreds in missions came rushing back as she screamed again, "Get out!"

"But there's no door!" He protested, "I'll still be able to see even if I-"

"Lucy kick!"

Natsu was launched out of the bathroom and straight onto Lucy's bed, which was an impressive distance. Huffing, Lucy quickly gathered the clothes nearest to her (her pajamas) and got dressed. Her hair, however, was soaked, and clung uncomfortably to the back of her neck.

When she was dressed, she wandered over to Natsu, who had once again regained consciousness and was sitting on her bed and rubbing his head with a scowl on his face.

"You didn't have to kick me so hard" he grumbled.

"Sorry" Lucy smiled sheepishly, "I panicked"

It was then Natsu realized something. Lucy's wet hair, damp, limp and lifeless, was the only unattractive thing about her. Her pajamas were small; too small, clinging to all the right parts of her body- her slim waist, her large breasts, her flaring hips, her long, perfect legs- and Natsu forced himself to look at her face, where she had a small smile on her face. Her face, too, was pretty- apart from her nose.

He'd always known Lucy was pretty, but it felt like this was the first time he'd actually understood it.

"If I don't dry your hair, you'll get sick" he told her, "And then Erza will kill me"

She laughed, and Natsu's stomach felt weirder than it had felt before. He dismissed it though. His stomach always felt weird after eating new things, and that fire was definitely something he wasn't eating again.

She sat on the bed beside him, her head resting gently on his shoulder. The mattress sunk slightly under her weight, and Natsu felt her body press against his; just barely. He lifted his left hand, summoned a fire, and smothered it in his hand. Carefully, he maneuvered his hand around her head, the heat drying her hair almost instantly.

"You're handy" she yawned, "Just make sure not to set fire to my hair, kay?"

"Okay" he agreed, a small smile on his face. It was then he realized that Lucy was using him for his heat. His partner was using him as a hairdryer.

Oh, well. At least that bastard Loke was gone.

* * *

"Gajeel!" Levy sighed, exasperated, "How am I supposed to cook when you keep on eating my utensils?"

Gajeel looked up from the knife he'd been chewing on, "What?" He grumbled, "This is my lunch"

"Yes, but what about my lunch?" She huffed, "Don't tell me you expect me to eat iron, too"

"Why don't ya just go to the guild to eat?" He asked, "Mirajane'll cook you something"

"Yes, but Mira cooks for most of the guild" Levy said, "I don't want to add to her problems. Besides, knowing how to cook is an important skill. And like any skill, you need practice. Tell me, Gajeel, how am I supposed to practice when you are eating my knife?"

Gajeel snapped his head up, "Huh? I wasn't paying attention"

Levy began fuming, "Gajeel" she said warningly.

"Look, shorty" he said, "Ya obviously can't cook for peanuts. Considering your sauce" he nodded at the pot, "Is burning. And you use a wooden spoon ta stir that, not metal, so don't blame me"

Levy looked down at her pot, helped, and rapidly turned down the heat. It was too late now though- the sauce had been ferociously boiling for too long, and as she stared at the dry sauce that had reduced too much, she sighed. Once again, Gajeel was right.

"Fine" she muttered, "I'll go to the guild. But in the way back, you're taking me to the bookstore"

He arched an eyebrow, "What am I, your dog?"

"I'm going to buy a cookbook"

"In that case, I'll go. Gladly"

Levy tried to fight back the growing smile on her face. Inwardly, she was dancing. '_Yes! He's coming with me! I get to spend more time with him!'_

Outwardly, she feigned indifference, "I didn't care whether you wanted to or not"

He ignored her, "Are we going already?"

"Yep"

* * *

"No. No way" the bookstore owner vehemently said, "I saw what you and your friends did to the supermarket this morning. No way are you going near my store. Some of these books are priceless! Priceless, y'hear?"

"Sir, I'd only take a minute, I just want to buy a-"

"Go away and leave my books alone" the cranky owner barked, slamming the door shut. Levy's eyes squeezed shut as she realized the door was going to hit her in the face.

Well, at least the door would've hit her in the face, if not for a very pissed off dragon slayer who had put his foot in the way of the door.

"Now what," Gajeel glared, looming over the shorter man, "Do ya think you're doing?"

The man gaped, then began to shake his head, "No, no, I didn't mean anything by it! I thought... I just thought..."

"You didn't think enough"

"You're absolutely right! I'm really sorry-"

"Move" Gajeel shoved him, and the man stumbled into one of his bookcases. Gajeel nodded at Levy, "Go and grab your book. That's fine with you, isn't it?" He turned his blood-red eyes in the owner, who began nodding earnestly.

"Yes, yes, of course! Free of charge, free of charge" he assured her.

Feeling nervous, Levy grabbed the first cookbook she saw, '_So you want to learn how to cook?'_ And despite the mans assurances, left money on the counter as compensation. She didn't feel too good robbing people, even if the man tried to slam a door in her face.

When Levy walked back over to Gajeel, she saw the owner looking terrified, and Gajeel looking smug. Levy breathed out slowly, and walked out of the bookstore. Gajeel walked beside her.

"You didn't have to threaten to kill him"

"Ah"

* * *

"Gray-sama, I'm so sorry!" Juvia apologized.

She was in Gray's kitchen, after trying to cook him a late breakfast. Cooking, however, was not one of Juvia's strengths, and the kitchen was a mess. More to the point, it looked like the kitchen had vomited. It was not an appealing sight.

"Juvia, it's okay" Gray said, for the fourth time, "Don't worry about it"

"But, Gray-sama-"

"Juvia, stop with the apologizing. It's giving me a headache"

"My deepest apologies, Gray-sama"

"Please don't tell me you just apologized about apologizing"

Juvia said nothing.

"C'mon" he said abruptly, "Let's go out and eat. I'm starving, and I don't want to look at that kitchen any longer"

'_A- a date?'_ Juvia froze, '_Is this a date? What does Juvia do? Should Juvia tell Gray-sama her true feelings-'_

"You've already told them to me" Gray said dryly.

"G-Gray-sama, you can hear my thoughts? Wait- Juvia and Gray-sama are soulmates?"

"No, idiot" he said, shrugging his coat on. It was pointless, really, since it was probably going to come off on the walk there, "You spoke out loud"

"Ah, Juvia is embarassed!"

They left his apartment, and wandered through the streets of Magnolia. Almost immedietly, Gray noticed that Juvia was standing three meters away from him.

"Juvia" he called, amusement in his tone, "You can stand closer to me"

"Y-yes, Gray-sama!" Juvia flushed, walking over to him. Soon she was by his side, head down as she shuffled beside him.

"Juvia?"

"Yes!"

"Calm down"

"Yes, Gray-sama!"

He chuckled, and said, almost to himself, "You never understand, do you?"

"Understand what?"

"I tell you to stop apologizing, and you apologize. I tell you to calm down, and you become more agitated. Honestly, Juvia, you say one thing and do something completely different"

"I'm sorry, Gray-sama"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it" they walked past a cafe, where they were advertising a late breakfast of pancakes. He saw Juvia's eyes light up as she saw the sign. He nodded towards it, "You wanna go in?"

Juvia looked up at him guiltily, "Only if it's okay with Gray-sama... Juvia would never put pancakes over Gray-sama!"

"It's not like any other cafes would be selling breakfast at this hour" he said, "So, pancakes it is"

Juvia squealed, "Yes! I mean... Gray-sama, we'll only eat pancakes if you want to. Juvia can eat something else-"

"Yeah, let's just go in" he said, "Besides, I've never seen you be so passionate about something. Other than me. It's nice to see you interested in something"

A pleased blush covered her features, "Gray-sama is wonderful! He's so considerate and- Gray-sama, where are your pants?"

Gray looked down and cursed. They spent the next half hour searching for his pants, and when they'd finally found them, the cafe had stopped offering their breakfast menu.

"So much for the pancakes" he groaned, raking a hand through his hair, "Sorry, Juvia"

"Gray-sama has nothing to apologize for!" Juvia said earnestly, "Nothing at all"

"If my kitchen was still alive, I'd offer to make you some" he mused, "But considering it's not, we should probably just go to the guild and ask Mira to make us something..."

Juvia's head hung down in shame, and Gray quickly tried to cover up his mistake, "But that's fine! I can survive without a kitchen!"

Juvia's head hung lower.

'_Shit_' Gray thought, '_I'm awful at comforting people. Especially girls. What the hell do I say? Hell, it seems like she's upset over every little thing. But when something small happens to make her happy, sometimes it seems like her smile will never fade, it's so bright..._

_Agh, shit, what am I thinking about? Her smile? I'm turning into a creep'_

"C'mon" he said, "Let's go back to the guild"

"Yes..."

"Juvia, cheer up" and then the words tumbled out of his mouth, and he wasn't thinking, "A kitchen isn't worth you losing your smile"

Juvia froze. Then she beamed, "Gray-sama, let's have 32 babies together!"

"W-what? So specific!"

"The first one will be a boy, and he will be called Gray-sama! And the second one will be a boy, and he will be called Gray-sama! And the third one-"

"Juvia, you need to stop talking!"

"Ah! Juvia is so happy!"

* * *

"Mira-nee, what's wrong?" Lisanna asked, noticing her sisters troubled frown.

"It's nothing, but... I received a message on my lacrima. It's from one of the journalists of Sorceror weekly"

"What does it say?"

"Be sure to pick up our special edition issue tomorrow morning... Um, there will be many- Oh, this is wonderful!"

Lisanna reached over and snatched the lacrima, and finished reading the message, "There will be many couples announced, and these aren't just rumors- we have proof. Huh. I wonder what their proof is?"

Too late, she looked over at her older sister and could already see the evil wheels turning. Lisanna gulped. This was her older sister, one of the most feared and loved woman in Fiore. She was known for her charm, her manners, her beauty, her terrifying magic ability, and most of all...

Her matchmaking abilities.

* * *

**Special thanks to pplz90210 for picking up the typo at the start of this chapter. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N This chapter turned out to be way too random. Oh, well. Also, this is the last chapter of Lets Go Shopping. Hope you guys enjoyed it!**

* * *

The next morning, when Lucy walked into the guild, they were all yelling. Again.

"What's going on?" Lucy asked, and when she was promptly ignored, she hollered, "What's going on?"

They were all so loud that no-one heard her. Growling, she opened her mouth to scream when-

"Lucy, I had no idea!" Kinana smiled, the barmaid's eyes bright with excitement, "You should've told us. After all, the guild is family"

"Told you what?" Lucy demanded, only to realize Kinana had been swept away by the crowd, "Can _somebody_ please tell me what's going on!"

"Ah, Lucy-san!" Wendy exclaimed, "I'm so happy for you"

"Honestly, Lucy" Charle shook her head, "You should've waited until you were married"

"W-What!?"

"WHERE IS HE!?" Erza's voice, easily recognizable above the riffraff, roared. She was standing on top of a table, a furious glare etched on her face, "NATSU! STOP HIDING! I WILL MURDER YOU FOR STEALING LUCY'S VIRTUE!"

"M-MY W-W-WHAT!?" Lucy shrieked, then grabbed Wendy by the younger girls collar in a rare show of violence and began to threaten, "Tell me what's going on!"

As a way of answer, (and a way of saving her charges life) Charle thrust a magazine into Lucy's hand. Snatching it, Lucy looked at the front page eagerly.

And her face turned bright red.

On the front page of that weeks Sorceror Weekly, was none other than her and Natsu. In a compromising position. A really compromising position.

'_It must've been when to tried to snatch the matches' _Lucy realized, '_And then I was distracted by Juvia... We must've been like that for an entire minute! That's easily enough time for a nosy journalist to snatch a picture...'_

"T-t-t-this isn't what it seems like" Lucy denied, "We're not a couple or anything! I just wanted to get the matches, and-"

"Don't explain it to me" Charle said, "Explain it to Erza. If this keeps up, Natsu will be dead before noon"

Knowing the truth in those words, Lucy frantically shoved through the crowd, trying to reach the enraged Requip mage, who had changed into her Heavens Wheel Armor, at least thirty different swords swirling around her. The fact that she was this pissed and it wasn't because someone had stepped on her strawberry cake would've normally made Lucy feel touched. Today, however, Lucy was terrified.

"_Natsu_!" Erza howled, "_Show yourself! Come, so I may make your death quick!"_

"Erza!" Lucy cried out, rushing over to her, "Stop, Natsu didn't-"

"Lucy" Erza said, deathly quiet, turning her glare over to Lucy. Lucy squeaked, "How could you let such a scoundrel defile you?"

"E-Erza, you've got it wrong" Lucy tried to explain, "Natsu and I didn't-"

Just as Erza was about to disembowel Lucy with her multiple swords, she was interrupted by Gray.

"Oi, Erza, save me!" He ran over to Erza and hid behind her, "Juvia thinks we're some sort of couple!"

"But, Gray-sama!" Juvia protested, waving around a copy of Sorceror Weekly, "In here, it says we make the perfect combination! Listen! '_Can Juvia's warm waters melt the ice-cold of Gray's heart? Will this perfect combination of elements finally unite? See in next weeks issue!'_

"Good job, Juvia" Erza praised, all of her earlier anger gone, "You have the approval of the public! Now, you must only win over Gray's approval as well"

Lucy and Gray shouted in unison, "Why aren't you against this?"

Erza gave them a puzzled frown, "But Juvia and Gray make a lovely couple. Unlike Lucy and Natsu" as soon as the words left her mouth, the red-head started seething, her swords once again swirling around her. She leapt to another table, and began screaming bloody murder to Natsu and all those who stood by him.

"Why are Juvia and Gray allowed to date, but not Natsu and I?" Lucy muttered.

"Because the hands of fate have tied Gray-sama and Juvia together" Juvia sighed, "Gray-sama is Juvia's soulmate!"

"I am not!"

"Lucy" Mirajane ran over to her. The eldest Strauss sibling looked as though she'd drunk from one of Cana's barrels, "Isn't this great? Sorceror Weekly uncovered the truth!"

"The truth about what!?"

"About all the secret couples in Fairy Tail!" Mirajane gushed, "You and Natsu! Gray and Juvia! Gajeel and Levy!"

"Gajeel and Levy?" Lucy demanded eagerly, her own problems forgotten as her inner matchmaker emerged, "Did he confess?"

"He complimented her on the way her hair smelt!" Mirajane squealed, "And he beat up a bookstore owner for her!"

"True love" they both sighed.

"Wait, why am I here?" Lucy shrieked, "I don't have time for this! I have to stop Erza from killing Natsu!"

"Congratulations on the baby, Lucy!" Mirajane called after her.

Lucy froze, confusion playing on her features for a moment... Two moments..."Oh, that's ridiculous!" She screeched, "Ok, fine, I may have put on some weight, and yes, my stomach is a little bit bigger, but that does not mean I'm pregnant! Just because a girl gets a little hungry doesn't mean she's had sex with someone!"

"B-But" a poor soul protested, "It said in the magazine that Natsu is always sneaking to and from your house at night!"

Lucy whipped around, "So what!?" She snapped, "Just because he sleeps in my bed, and eats all my food, and uses my bath, and basically _lives_ in my house, doesn't mean I'm pregnant! Stop coming to such stupid conclusions!"

Mirajane swooned, "He sleeps in your bed?" She echoed, star struck, "Lucy, this... Is such a development! I never realized you and Natsu were so... So bold! You have such a fiery, passionate, relationship... Just like Natsu's own fire!"

"Lucy, how could you?" She turned around to see Loke, "After all we've been through... Even after we took a bath together yesterday!"

Lucy's face turned a darker shade of red, "You're not helping! Leave! Go away!"

"A- bath!"

"A love triangle!"

"I wonder who's baby it is"

"WHO!?" Erza thundered, "WHO TOOK A BATH WITH LUCY!? NATSU, YOU IMMORAL, PERVERTED-"

"Uh-oh" Mirajane said, "Looks like Erza doesn't approve of your relationship. She probably thinks his standard is too low for you" she winked, "But don't worry about it! True love overcomes every obstacle!"

"Natsu! Lucy isn't pregnant! We don't have to leave the country" the familiar voice of Happy invaded Lucy's senses.

"Really, Happy? Then why is her stomach so big?"

"Apparently that's just 'cause she's fat!"

"Oh, really! That's awesome! Now she can use belly-dancer Magic!"

"There's no such thing!" Lucy wailed, "And why would you leave the country just because I'm pregnant?"

"We don't know how to look after a baby" Happy explained, "So I came up with a plan to leave the country, so we wouldn't have to take care of it!"

"Men" Kinana was standing next to her, "They're all the same"

"They're all afraid of a little responsibility" Mirajane agreed.

"Running away is manly!" Elfman roared.

"That makes no sense!"

"NATSU! COME HERE! YOU WILL DIE BY MY BLADE"

"Awesome, Erza!" Natsu grinned, "I'm definitely gonna beat you this time. Fire dragons-"

_THWACK_.

"Natsu's dead! Natsu's dead! Natsu's dead!" Happy wailed, flying around the now collapsed Natsu, "Erza killed Natsu! Erza killed Natsu!"

"Shut up, cat!"

"Oh, no! It looks like Lucy's only other love option now is Loke!" Mirajane exclaimed.

Erza turned to Loke, and he shrieked before forcing his gate shut.

Erza leapt off of the table and landed in front of Lucy, "Don't worry, Lucy" Erza reassured, "I will one day find a man who is worthy of you. There is nothing to fear"

"This sucks!" Lucy wailed, "No man is going to pass Erza's tests! I'm going to be a nun!"

"Erza killed Natsu! Erza killed Natsu!"

"Natsu! Don't die!" Gray had charged over to the now unconscious Natsu and was shaking him vigorously, "You have to stop Juvia!"

"Gray is asking Natsu for help?"

"What is the world coming to?"

Natsu opened his eyes slightly, grasped Gray's arm, "Gray" Natsu rasped, "I don't have much longer to live. Please... Save the chickens. Make cage eggs history!"

"I will, Natsu" Gray said solemnly, "I promise. I'll save all the chickens. I know how much you loved eating them"

"Good" Natsu murmured, "Gray... Everything's turning dark... I can't ...see.. Please... The chickens..."

"Natsu! Don't die!"

"Don't worry Gray-sama, Juvia will take care of you!"

"I don't even know what's going on anymore" Lucy said miserably.

"Brats!"

At the commanding tone of the guilds master, silence fell. The excited remarks, the whispered comments and the constant brawls all ceased. The only thing that continued was the sound of Cana chugging down booze from her barrel.

"We forgot to buy rice!"

And it started all over again.

"I don't understand" Lucy wept, "I don't get what's happening anymore. I really don't"

"There, there" Erza comforted, "Look on the bright side. I killed Natsu"

"That's not helping!"

* * *

As it turned out, Natsu had not died.

"The public bathhouse?" He questioned, "Why are you going there?"

She smiled weakly, "After the stress of the past few days, I really need to relax"

"Lucy, I don't get it" Happy piped in, "How were the past few days stressful? We only went to the supermarket"

Lucy's demeanor darkened, "I'm never suggesting that again" she muttered, "Never. Again"

"Well, anyway" Natsu said, "I've picked out a job for us. Tomorrow, we can go and do it"

"Oh, really?" Lucy inquired, interested, "What is it?"

He handed her the flyer, and she read over it quickly. Her face soured.

"Natsu?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to kill you"

"Lucy! I can't die twice in one day!"

"Yeah!" Happy agreed, "Only cats have nine lives! And I'm a cat!" He became starry-eyed, "Nine lives with Charle..."

"Why did you pick this job for?"

He shrugged, "Because it pays well"

"I don't care if it's 200,000 Jewel! There's no way I'm doing an interview for Sorceror weekly! Especially about whether or not we're getting married!"

"But Lucy" Happy protested, "You love being on the news! You love people paying attention to you! And you love money! So why don't you like this job?"

"I've had enough of Sorceror weekly to last me a lifetime" Lucy told him, then tore the sheet of paper up, "Nope. Not doing it"

"Lucy!" Natsu whined, "It was 200,000 Jewel!"

That was the end of her patience. She was sick and tired of these rumors, sick of the catcalls that followed her wherever she walked, sick of the judging glares and comments, sick of random people giving her pregnancy tests, and she was especially sick of Natsu's endless questions, "I don't care!" She roared, "I'm going to the baths!

For ten minutes after she left, Natsu and Happy cowered in the corner.

"Man, Lucy is scary, isn't she?"

"A-Aye"

* * *

"Lily?" Levy inquired of the battle-hardened exceed, "Have you seen Gajeel?"

The question startled him, and he proceeded to have a panic attack, "Seen Gajeel? I haven't seen Gajeel. I've never seen Gajeel in my life. Who's Gajeel?"

"Um, okay" Levy said, weirded out. What had happened to Lily?

"Bisca" Levy asked the green-haired shooter, "Have you seen Gajeel?"

"G-Gajeel?" Bisca repeated, leaping out of her chair, "I, no, I haven't seen Gajeel. Sorry" she gave an unconvincing smile, then turned and whispered urgently to Alzack, "Take Asuka and run. Now!"

He obeyed without question. He knew if he hadn't, his wife would've shot his head off.

Leaving them, Levy wandered over to Reedus, "Reedus, have you seen Gajeel?"

"Oui" the artist murmured, half-paying attention as he continued to paint.

"Oh, you have? Great! Can you tell me where he is?"

"Who?"

"Gajeel. Didn't you just say you knew where he was?"

As Reedus focused all his attention on her, his skin paled, "I don't know where Gajeel is"

Levy, slightly frustrated, said, "But you just said-"

"No, you must've misheard me"

'_What's going on?' _Levy wondered, '_Where's Gajeel, and why does no-one want to say where he is?'_

Running a hand through her blue hair in frustration, Levy left the guild, walking to the only place she suspected Gajeel would be at; his house.

She knocked on the door, "Gajeel?" She called, "Are you home?"

There was a rustling, and then silence. Levy ground her teeth together, "Gajeel" she hissed, "I know you're in there, and I know you can hear me. Open the door!"

Silence.

"Solid script: Fire!"

She launched the flaming words at Gajeel's door. It was made out of wood, because when it was originally made out iron, Gajeel never had a door because he kept eating it. The wood caught fire and burned in seconds, leaving ash in its wake.

"Solid script: water! Solid script: wind!"

Using the water to put the last few embers out, and the wind to blow the ashes away, Levy stepped inside Gajeel's house.

"Oi, shorty!" Gajeel cursed, storming over to her, "Stop breaking my house!"

"Stop ignoring me!" Levy countered, "I asked if you were home and you don't say anything! And whenever I asked anyone about you at the guild, everyone acted suspicious. I'm worried, Gajeel. What happened?"

Levy was actually quite proud of herself for being able to stand up to him. Gajeel could be very threatening at times, with his numerous piercings and blood-red eyes. However, Levy knew that deep down, past all the threats and the scowls, that Gajeel was actually a really good guy. Not that he'd ever admit it.

"Nothing happened, Shorty. Now go away" Gajeel said, but his tone was softer now. It was only slightly though, but Levy's ears were attuned to the slightest change in Gajeel's rasps.

She put her hands on her hips, and glared, "Is it about the Sorceror weekly article? The one about us?"

As soon as the words left her lips, Levy knew they were true. Gajeel's eyes widened a fraction, and his posture became defensive, clear signs of embarrassment.

"Gajeel" she sighed, "Don't worry about those idiots. And it wasn't just us. Natsu, Lucy, Gray and Juvia were all featured as well. No-one's taking it seriously. Just forget about it"

"I wasn't worried about that"

"So you were worried about something"

He growled, "Stop trying to trap with me with your words, midget"

"Gajeel" Levy huffed, "Just admit it"

"Admit what?"

"That you were embarrassed about the article"

"Y'know, Shorty, you're gonna have to fix my door"

Levy glared at him, then said, "Solid script: wood!" After the planks of wood fell, she nodded and said, "There. You can build your own one"

She turned to leave, but Gajeel was blocking the doorway in one fluid moment, "Why are ya mad?"

"Because you never admit anything!" Levy replied, "You are embarrassed about that article, I know it! But you're just acting tough to save your pride"

"So what do you want me to admit?" He demanded gruffly.

'_That's a good question' _Levy realized, '_What? What is it that I want him to admit? Any guy would feel awkward about being paired with a guildmate. But... I don't know. I don't want him to pretend like it doesn't bother him. I... I don't know. I don't know. Why don't I know? It's not a complicated puzzle. The answer is right there, but I can't see it. Why can't I see it?'_

"Uh...Shorty?"

_'What do I want him to admit? What is it... Why don't I know? I've read so many books, I can read so many languages, I've learnt so much... So why can't I classify this? Why don't I understand it?'_

"Shorty? Are you dead?"

'_Why don't I know? What is it that I want him to say... Why don't I know!?'_

"Shorty!" Gajeel snarled, "Snap out of it!"

Levy jumped, "W-woah!"

Gajeel frowned, "What happened? You just spaced out of all sudden"

Levy gave him a quick smile, "It's nothing. Now, can you move? I want to go home"

He didn't budge.

"Gajeel..." Levy threatened.

"I asked you what happened"

"And I asked you to move"

They had a silent stand-off for an entire minute. Gajeel's face was mostly expressionless, except for... Was that concern?

"Gajeel, move"

"No"

"There's nothing wrong" Levy tried, "I just spaced out. It happens"

"You only space out when you're worried" he said, "What's worrying you?"

Standing in such close proximity to him for so long was making Levy edgy, "There's nothing worrying me"

"It happened right after I asked you what you wanted me to admit" Gajeel tried to piece it together, "So... What do you want me to admit? Why are you so upset about it?"

"It's nothing" Levy said again, trying weave through him and out the door. It was useless. Gajeel's arm struck out, shoved her back gently a few steps.

"What do you want me to admit?"

"I don't know!" Levy threw her hands in the air, "I don't... Know..."

Hearing the honesty in Levys tone, Gajeel's glare softened. Whatever was troubling the midget, he'd find it out eventually, he knew. But if the midget didn't know herself, then he supposed there was nothing he could do.

"Fine" he said, moving out the way, "Go. But once you figure it out, you'd better tell me"

Levy's shoulders relaxed as she glanced outside. She took a step forward, then paused. '_It's now or never, Levy'_ In two fluid moments, she had whipped around, stood on her tiptoes, and pressed a kiss against Gajeel's cheek. Her own cheeks burning, Levy bolted, leaving a very bemused Gajeel.


End file.

Fairy Tail, Humor, Romance