How to Train Your Dragon 1. Chapter 1

So we recently got _How to Train Your Dragon_ on DVD, and the first thing we did was look for fan-fiction for it. And there are a lot of good stories and a few good authors which I will be recommending or will have put on my favorites list. But of the stories I have read, including a few female Hiccup stories, I have yet to find a berserker Hiccup. And having already seen _300_ I kind of like the idea of a Viking going blood drunk. This story has nothing to do with that, really it's more like that Banderas movie, _The 13__th__ Warrior_. And if none of you know what that is, then it's a movie based on a book about Vikings killing cannibals.

Working Title: The Linguist

Book One: The French Connection*

Chapter One: A Serious Discussion and Preparations

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In a not so large village on a not so large island presumably somewhere in the North Atlantic and somewhat east of modern Norway a rather gangly young man is leaving his job at the smithy for the evening meal. "See you tomorrow Gobber." He calls to the rather portly man inside still cleaning up, "Bright and early Hiccup," he calls back. "We got to finish those spears for the hunting parties."

As Hiccup walked from the smithy to the mead-hall he noticed that there was a new ship at the docks, but thought nothing of it and kept walking. As he walked past the main doors, however one of the villagers called out that his father, Chief Stoick the Vast, wanted to talk to him. With a resigned sigh, he trudged into the hall.

A mead-hall is a large single-room dwelling that can hold a great many people and is usually used for celebrations and gatherings, but also for entertaining guests and storing the barrels of fermented honey and, goats' milk that Vikings normally drank at their meals. They used goats because they ate less than cows and more of them could be stored in one place. And you can separate the long hair from the hide and use both at once.

At the head of the main table, he takes his designated seat at his fathers' right hand. Looking across the table he saw what appeared to be a foreign ambassador who must have come in on the ship he saw, looking around the room he saw another table with what must be his crew. Looking to his left and upward, he saw his father with a rather smug look on his face. "Ah, Hiccup. Good to see you today, this gentleman is Jacques Reucard from France, but luckily he speaks enough English we could figure out what he wanted." Still with that smug look.

"Let me guess, his lord needs help expanding territory," Hiccup asked, somewhat annoyed by that grin. "And he wants our help to do it, and is willing to pay handsomely."

"Exactly," Stoick gestured with one hand, "but, the _Thing _decided when Berk was founded that only those who could speak the language would lead a mercenary group anywhere, and guess how many people are fluent in French here."

Hiccup glanced around, then blanched,"No, dad. We talked about this last week remember? I'm a blacksmith and more than happy to remain that way"

"Yes, but I also said that you know more about how the village works now than I did when I started my chiefs training." Here hiccup started to interject, "And I said that, barring any unforeseen disasters, you would have to jump through a couple of formality hoops before I could start your official training." He took a deep swig of mead, "This is one of them." Noticing his sons' ineffective glower, he continued "Think of it as a test of the strength of your conviction to the village. If you don't come back, I'll have to declare Snotlout my heir, and who knows how long the village will have to fight with substandard weapons while Gobber trains a replacement for you. And besides, Phlegma said she would kiss your feet if you made it back."

He started at that and replied, "Well then, Phlegma just volunteered to go along and make sure nothing happens to me." A loud clamor rang throughout the hall at that, Hiccup looked around and picked more names, "Skolt, get a shield-wall and spearmen. Edgtho, find more archers, and include me and Phlegma in that list. Helmut, we'll need all the dragon armor you have. Fishface, get a long-boat and a knorr ready, we'll need both to handle eighty people."

The others had slowly quieted during his speech and were now staring in shock. Hiccup had been writing a list of people while he talked and just now looked up, "What? Yes eighty people with dragon armor, with any luck they'll run at just the sight of us. Move it, people! I'll have a list ready by midnight."

At this proclamation, there was a mass exodus out the doors. People either checking ware-houses or preparing personal effects. Stoick looked at the empty tables and whistled, "Well that's one way to clear a hall, I don't think I've ever seen them move like that." He looked at Hiccup, "You're really taking eighty people? That's like half the raiding force I'd picked out for the season."

Hiccup sighed and looked around, "Hopefully, but really I wanted everyone gone so I could talk to this guy without interruption." He looked to Jacques and said in French, "I speak your language friend, now why don't you tell me what you couldn't tell anyone else."

And so, for several hours the Viking and the Frenchman spoke of his lords problems in St. Valery at the mouth of the Somme River. Several times Vikings came to discuss details of the war party, from how many effective archers they could have, to how many Nightmare hide shields they had, but come morning, the troops were ready. The shields and sea-chests were on board. The livestock and supplies were tied down. And Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was readying his first raiding party for departure.

Probably not the best, but I do have to share this computer. Those of you who read my Naruto Pokemon cross-over should not hold their breath while waiting for it to come back. And check my profile for a list of recommended HTTYD stories.


	2. Chapter 2

Right then, chapter two of what will be a rather short story. First off, I know _The French Connection_ was a movie made in '73, but I have never seen it, I don't think I know anybody who has seen it, and I have know idea if you will be able to find it anymore. Second, I do not own HTTYD, I might own the plot, maybe, but I doubt it. Also, I recommend reading _Crash Courses in Marriage_. And Harry Potter fans should read _Trust is a Relative Thing_, Naruto fans should try _What Became of the Likely Lads._ And that's all right now. Also, I have recently become highly addicted to Civilization III, and it is taking up a bunch of my time, so please bear with me.

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Chapter 2: Departure and Sailing

Berk at dawn is a sight to behold, especially if you are standing on top of the south-western cliff and looking down at the harbor. Even more so if you are standing at the docks looking over the men and equipment of your very first raiding party, as Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III is now doing.

"Okay, Edgtho, let's go over the checklist while everyone is finishing up." The tall brunette ran a comb through his curly hair and nodded, "We have fifteen large shields made of Nightmare hide, one for each of the spearmen. This includes Hellnutt because he wants to make sure they all come back."

Hiccup checked his personnel list, "He's taking Skelds place in the line right? Can't say I blame him. Continue." "Each member of the shield-wall carries a long spear that you made, and Skolt is in charge of them. With you and me, there are eighteen skilled archers, but only the smaller ones are wearing the Nadder armor. The rest say it impedes their movement to much, even the wrapping strips."

He looked from the ships to his new boss to see him sketching something in his notebook, then, without looking up, Hiccup asked, "Full quivers of whistler arrows for all of us right? Buckler type shields and straight swords?" Edgtho smiled and replied, "Rennet, Harlan, and myself are bringing axes, and you have your heavy knives, but the others are taking swords, yes. The other forty-seven are the general motley crew one tends to expect from Vikings." He chuckled and Hiccup joined him, "Except most people don't let their women join combat teams," He pointed out, "Of course, if we didn't let them come they would make life completely miserable for us when we are home."

Hiccup cleared his throat, "Okay, that's personnel, now about the other equipment," he pulled out his check-list again. "Milking goats," His second answered, "Three of them, and a sheep, for those who prefer that."

"Right, fresh water, we should have two barrels. The route is fairly populace all the way there so getting more shouldn't be a problem. And there's always fish in the sea so food isn't a problem either." He noticed the sailing master for the trip, a burly red-head by the name of Merle, come up to him, "Yes."

Merle saluted, "Sir, all supplies and equipment are onboard, and the sea-chests are in place for rowers, we are awaiting orders to set sail. And our new friends are wanting to have a word about the route."

Hiccup nodded in acceptance, "Okay, all hands aboard, and prepare to make way. The Gothi still need to give their blessing for a safe voyage, and if no one objects I'll ride with Jacques at first so we can talk and jump back after. All good."

"Aye, sir," and with another salute, he ran off to issue final instructions. Hiccup watched him go, then sighed. "Well, this is it, no turning back unless I want to be banished." He looked up at the master archer, "Go ahead, I'll wait for the blessing then join Jacques on his boat."

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Fifteen days out from Berk, they have passed Hopeless and are nearing the Shetlands, or would be except that Jacques and Hiccup agreed to sail due south from Hopeless straight to the English Channel. Luckily, a strong Northerly had picked up and they had covered almost half the distance in three days.

Less than a week later the pre-dawn watch spotted a northern segment of the Anglia Coast of East Britain. He woke Hiccup who told him to look for any fresh water supply. Hiccup then went to shout to the helmsman of the French vessel to prepare to stop for water before they turned toward France.

A few of the men inquired as to getting a warm-up in before they got to St. Valery, but Hiccup said they couldn't risk any serious injuries just yet.

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Not even another week later, the boats turned into a small bay and furled their sails to half-mast. Shortly there-after the crews were greeted by the sight of a pristine port town with a stone manor- house on a rise overlooking the city.

Jacques guided his boat into the harbor and immediately jumped off to stop the large group of armed militia who were preparing to sail against the Berkians. The problem was quickly solved and the Vikings were unloading their weapons to the awe and admiration of the villagers, and very soon were taking the noon meal with Philippe Vitry, Lord of the surrounding land, who had asked for their help in the first place.

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Not moving as fast as I had hoped, but we'll get to the fighting in the next chapter. And the M-rating not long after that, but this not going to be a long story. The sequel might be longer, but will have less action in it, and I'm trying not to think about the third part yet. New story to read, _Minding the Fort,_ only two chapters so far, but it shows promise.


	3. Chapter 3

Had some computer problems recently. Then I lost track of the plot. Then I remembered that the only real plot was Vikings killing Frenchmen, so I can go just about anywhere from here. Also, the violence might not warrant the rating, and there will be just one scene with teh smex, but I like to play safe. Of course there were really only two methods of safe sex back then coughanalcough . But that's for later.

Chapter 3: First Conflict and News of Pirates

A lanky brunette crept around the French encampment, observing in disgust the squalled tent-less conditions the so-called warriors allowed themselves to live in. Edgtho had fought against many enemies in his time, but only Skrealings had been so disorganized before this morning, and at least the Celtics posted sentries, however ineffective they had been. He slipped through the forest shadows in the predawn light, back to where Hiccup waited to distribute his forces and the fifty guardsmen that Philippe had sent to help them. He shook his head, "I put their number at twice ours, and arrows would only serve as a warning."

Hiccup scratched his chin, "So, quietly up the middle killing them one at a time. Archers and guardsmen split up to each side incase they do wake and catch them in a pincer movement. We can leave the shields behind." He looked at the others, "Sounds right to me, so lets' get going." "Right!" The groups quickly formed and separated, nine Viking archers with twenty Frenchmen working to the east and west of the camp and the other sixty-eight Vikings and ten guards moving to the south end of the camp.

The brawny blonde Skolt and the wiry redhead Hellnut took point with long spears and at a crow call, slowly started moving through the sleeping crowd, stabbing them through the throat to silence them and slashing outward to cut the artery. Before they were halfway through the camp, a runner came down from the north and started yelling in French. Before a shaft took him in the throat, and the chest, and the kidney, several others had woken and seen their would be murderers.

With furious cries they leapt up to find their weapons and most only found arrows in their neck or chest. As more Frenchmen arose, a group that the runner was actually scouting for emerged from the woods and charged across to face the enemy. A group to large for the archers to handle, Hiccup ordered three volleys from his group, then dropped his bow, "Come on, can't do much here once they start merging."

The hundred and thirty combined force sat by a river to clean their weapons and dress their wounds. And divvy up the spoils, of course. Atop a boulder to one-side of the water, again drawing something in his sketch-book, Hiccup awaited his crew chiefs to make their reports. "Right," he waved his pencil around and pointed it at Merle almost randomly. "Let's start with the butcher's bill, shall we. One hundred and thirty against nearly three times that and from what I can see, there were no fatal injuries on our side?"

"Aye, sir," the shipwright replied. "And a bloody miracle it was too, that none of Philippe's men died either. Yet we killed three-hundred and fifty enemies and captured fifteen, with an unknown number escaping."

Hiccup snorted, "Well that could be a good thing, with any luck they'll exaggerate our forces and convince this Chartreuse guy to surrender. I really don't like the idea of trying to besiege a town without good catapults." The others nodded agreement and he continued, "Inga, Number and nature of injuries."

A strawberry blonde in an eye patch looked up, "Well, my eye is probably the worst. But other than some deep cuts it's mostly scratches on everybody." She peered at his sketchbook, "What are you drawing in that anyway?" "Landscapes, why?" She shook her head, "No reason, but Ronneth lost a lot of blood. He might be out of this for awhile."

Hiccup snorted angrily, "Eager beavers lucky I don't kill him myself for that stunt. Skolt, what was collected off the corpses? Anything good?" The blonde Hofferson shook his head, "Most of them had money pouches, but there's not five hundred silver altogether, and only thirty gold. A few pieces of jewelry we can melt down for copper but will probably be confiscated by Phlegma for the women's council." He looked over the lounging warriors and noticed a group of horses, "Looks like we got company."

The others looked over where he was pointing, "Probably want a status report and to collect the prisoners." Merle remarked, and Hiccup nodded. "Only one way to find out." He hopped down from the rock, "Get them ready for travel, also the weapons and supplies we collected, can't use most of it anyway. And somebody have a chat with Ronneth about how stupid he was." He started walking away, and then paused, "And we really should get those bodies ready for burning, seeing as how there's too many to bury."

The horses skidded to a halt in a cloud of dust right next to the roped captives, and the leader dismounted, looking at them in disgust. He noticed an auburn-haired youth walking towards them with a wineskin and grimaced._" He might be as tall as me, but I know an insult when I see one. Sending a child to greet me, Lord Philippe's nephew is ridiculous." _He thought with distaste, and telling his men to stay mounted, he sauntered over to Hiccup and demanded to speak with the commander.

Hiccup smirked and said, "You know, it's usually considered good manners to introduce yourself before making demands of someone." He guzzled some wine and handed the skin over, "Especially, when that someone is in charge of keeping your uncle in power, Captain Gaspar." He chuckled at the mans affronted look, "Its Hiccup, by the way, and I am in charge of this war party that Lord Philippe hired to double his territory and tax income. Now, why are you here, we have stuff to do before the next battle."

Gaspar snorted and looked around, "Your messenger told us that a great battle had taken place, and yet these men look none the worse for wear. Did you tell him to exaggerate or did he do that on his own, clearly, there is nothing here to back up his claims and my dear uncle sent me to learn the truth of things."

He turned back toward Hiccup to find a large knife pressed to his throat, and a number of Guardsmen closing on him and his retinue with spears forward, the lieutenant in charge stepped forward, "Forgive me Captain, but none of us will tolerate such slander against our allies." He turned east, "If you wish to see the killing field we will escort you there, but I expect a change in your attitude when we return."

Gaspar was angry now and it showed, "Ha, you expect anyone to believe that a paltry six score and ten were able to slay three and a half hundred without a single fatality. It's ridiculous to even consider…" "Yet it is true," One of the captives chose now to speak his piece. "They came up as we slept; cutting our throats one at a time until a runner came shouting warnings. He was felled quickly, as were many of the wakers, by archers hidden in the trees to either side. Even when the reinforcements that the runner was scouting for joined the fray, we stood no chance as the archers left their cover and battled as well." He gave a grim smile, "These warriors deserve respect, and even a stuffed out poppin-jay such as yourself should be able to see that."

He looked at Hiccup and nodded, "I am Jinee Chartreuse, the Lords son, and I guarantee he will not pay for my return, or the return of any of us. This is why I feel no guilt telling you that, last evening my father was in meeting with a pair of pirates. Making a deal with them for safe harbor and sailing, in exchange for attacking St. Velery and the outlying areas, to occupy their main forces while he leads a force around behind. That is all I know of his immediate plans, and no amount of torture will get you anything important."

The Lieutenant spoke to Hiccup, "Master Hiccup, my men and I were ordered by Lord Philippe to assist you in any way we can, and until Lord Philippe himself orders otherwise, I cannot honorably leave your side. No matter who would object to my feelings."

Hiccup nodded wisely, "Captain, you have what you came for, now kindly leave. You can take the prisoners and captured supplies with you on sleds, or leave everything with us. In the mean time, the rest of us have some night fishing to prepare for.

Did I mention that I don't own any of this, also check my profile for the chapter planning. I finished this chapter while listening to Dewey Cox songs, he's pretty good, but no Johnny Cash.

Finally I would really like to thank everyone who added me to their favorite's lists and alerts.

Toothless-the-nightfury, Braconi, Shimmer-chan, 64-maddness, dirtfan(twice), ELshock


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own How to Train Your Dragon. I do not own and have not read the books. I own a DVD, but it's the regular one, not the one with the Boneknapper. And today you get to see how Vikings commandeer pirate ships. Go Team Haddock! (1)

Chapter Four: Pirate Prisoners and Bungling Burglars

Lieutenant Richelieu smirked at the retreating backs of the interlopers, "Night fishing huh," he looked back at the captives. "What about them?"

Hiccup glanced up from his sketch book, "I'm sure they know how to swim, I'm also sure that unless something drastic happens we are going to need all the help we can get." He put his book back in his vest, "Now let's get going."

"Are you sure the French are up to this." Merle asked with some concern. He was looking at Hiccup drawing again, and wondered to himself why and how he could do that close to midnight on the dark of the moon.

"Should I explain it again Merle," he put his book down, and sighed that he was never able to finish without someone bothering him. "There is no moon to reflect off the water, which means the pirates will have to rely on their ears to locate a threat, and the bigger someone is the more noise they make in water, which rules out most of us for this operation." He heard a few chuckles from behind him. "When Richelieu and his men climb aboard each ship, they will kill the night watch and bar the hold door before turning the sails for land and beaching the ships on the sand. Caravels like that will be able to open and close a part of the bow to more easily load and unload cargo(2), and when they feel the ships run aground, those trapped inside will open the hatch and charge out right into the welcoming embrace of our sharpened steel."

While the men and women of Berk smiled in anticipation of a good fight, Hiccup watched as several shadows slipped from the water onto the hulls of the ships at anchor just a hundred yards off shore. Moments later, there were two splashes as the dead watchmen fell into the water, "Get ready." Hiccup called out, "It's starting."

(Richelieu POV)

Even at night, the water is warm this time of year. Good thing too, or I wouldn't have gotten so many volunteers. Nearly the whole contingent, counting the ex-prisoners who agreed to join us, seventy people split between two coastal raiding vessels that might carry that many together in their holds. Young Hiccups plan is a fair one, made quickly and seemingly without the aid of his advisors, that insures Lord Philippe's own forces undergo just as much risk as the North-men do in this campaign. I hope these pirates have treasure in their hulls, or we will be hard pressed to make our payment.

It is an easy thing to kill the tired sentries and bar the hold. Hiccups idea to attack before the shift change is certainly unusual, but we our unfurling the triangular sails with no trouble and have drawn the anchor, so why complain if something works. Now I look over at the other ship and see that they are already moving toward shore, so I turn to my own crew to check the trouble. "Sir," one of my sergeants says to me. "There is a large ship moving toward us on the wind, a schooner we think."

"Damn! Signal trouble to shore! Man ropes over the bow and start swimming. "Men scurry like rats. "Quickly, silence is wasted effort now."

(Normal POV)

Skolt sees the torch and turns to Hiccup, "They're throwing ropes over the bow to try towing it in. Like something is chasing them, but I can't see anything from here."

Hiccup scratches his chin, "Well, go help them tow it then we'll see what has them panicked. Skolt, Merle, Raga, and Ronnel get going; the rest of us will stay here since the other ship is almost beached." The four named quickly shed their cloaks and amour, and ran into the water. The rest turned toward the ship just as it ran aground, and just as Hiccup said, the bow opened outward on hinges and the pirates charged out, yelling and cursing. And all thirty of them froze at the sight of nearly fourscore giants, carrying weapons that would take three of them just to lift. Thirty pairs of eyes watched as one smaller than the rest walked in front of the group and held out a wineskin, "Parley?"

(Skolt POV)

Rather than towing the ship in, I order my group, and the frenchies in the water back aboard before the wind picks up and the ship crushes them. It does happen you know. I grab the torch out of some fools hand, and quickly march to the stern. Holding the torch out over the water, I get a better look at the ship and see that it more resembles a trade cog on a diet than an actual schooner. When it gets close enough I throw the torch as hard as I can into their sails and listen to the curses to see if I recognize the language.

Imagine my surprise when I understand them perfectly, and it sounds like all of the voices are female. Taking a chance I cry out, "Ho Burglars, who commands thee?" Not a moment later I get a response, "IS that the mighty Skolt Hofferson, who slew four Celtics with a single swing of his axe?"

"Aye, Big-Boobied Bertha, and four more on the back-swing." I laugh aloud, "What brings the Chieftaness of the Bog Burglars this far south so soon in the season?"

She shouted back, "Apparently we're getting our best vessel burned up by careless Hooligans; you know I'll want payment for that sail, and the rigging you destroyed." She laughed some more, "I'll have to take that up with Stoic in the morning."

I laugh back, "No you won't, because he's not in charge of this. Join us for breakfast and you can discuss compensation with our boss. Now go away, I've got work to do." We were sailing out of shouting distance anyway, but who doesn't like getting in the last word. A minute later, and we were scraping bottom and I heard lot's of screaming from the hold as they ran out for battle. A pity I wouldn't get to fight this time.

(Normal POV)

Skolt jumps over the side of the ship just as the last pirate is cut down, and walks over to where Hiccup is cleaning another injury in the same arm as last time. "Keep this up, and you'll have to replace it just to get some normal movement."

Hiccup chuckles, "You know I've gotten worse injuries in the forge right, your nieces axe set my pants on fire once." He passes the water flask to Inga, who is sewing up a Frenchman that lost a chunk out of his arm. "What happened to the other ship?"

"I set their sail on fire, and Berthas coming for breakfast to discuss compensation." Hiccup started in shock, "That was a Bog Burglar ship. And Bertha was on it?" Skolt nodded, "Yep. You know what that means don't you?"

"How could I not? Bertha hasn't let Camicazi go around unsupervised since the underwear incident. We better keep everything under double guard until they leave."

Inga piped up from where she had been listening, "Including you virginity Hiccup, because I think the Chief would be disappointed if you didn't claim at least one woman while we're here."

(1) yes this is a tribute to Venture Brothers

(2) I don't know for sure if they did this or not, but it always made sense to me. Especially the shallow draft ships.

Chapter four is done, and I've decided what I'm going to do with the sequel, no I'm not telling you. You'll just have to wait a month or so and find out as I publish it. Also, I'm sorry if these chapters aren't long enough for you but I am really constrained for time and have to make them short. Especially if you want frequent updates. Or any updates. Sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

I have reviews now! YAY! And in response to Voldyne, I have to clarify some things.

First: this story takes place before the events of the movie, early spring as apposed to late fall.

Second: for some reason that I'm not sure I'll explain in this story, Hiccup was never interested in killing dragons or becoming chief.

Third: I know no one asked about it, but these people are Vikings. Their entire early culture was military/expansionist and revolved around spreading their cultural influence by killing as many people as they could, then moving in to take control. How do you think Normandy got started? It wasn't until later that they became an economic/expansionist culture.

Fourth: As often as possible Viking war parties would take a tribute from their intended victims not to attack them that year, and sometimes to actually defend the town or territory from other Vikings. That created a several century tradition of Viking mercenary bands actually becoming Royal Guards for various kingdoms and empires, the Byzantine Guards being the most famous of them.

Also, if you haven't noticed, Hiccups obsession with his book is actually inspired by the Ocean's movies where Rusty is always eating something.

Also, also, chartreuse is a bright green, not a purple. My mistake.

Also, also, also, I do not own How to Train Your Dragon.

Smoke from a score of breakfast fires rose through the pre-dawn haze as a rather well-endowed woman dressed in dark green and a mail skirt led a group of warrior women along the beach, looking for the leaders of this conglomerate. A sharp whistle turns Berthas head, and she sees Skolt waving her over to sit with his group.

As she walks over, she nods greeting to each of those seated around the fire. "Skolt, Merle, Inga, Hiccup." Bertha started and looked again, "Hiccup? What are you doing here?" Before she got here answer, a young woman barreled from the group straight toward the young man in question, "Hicky!" Berthas daughter, Camicazi, yelled and jumped over the fire into his arms.

Only to receive a face full of sand and a weight on her back, as Hiccup landed on her after jumping up into the air to avoid the girl. He glanced down at her from his book, and sighed, "I'm starting to get tired of people interrupting me all the time." He got off Cami and handed her a water skin, only to get punched in the shoulder, "Jerk," She sputtered around the sand. "Don't see each other for four years, and the first thing you try to do is suffocate me with sand."

Hiccup chuckled, "You know I could have just kicked you into the fire, right?" This earned him another punch in the arm. He scowled, "If you do that again, you'll get another face of sand." Cami reared back for another punch, which Hiccup caught just an inch from his face. He twisted around behind the girl and pulled her back before placing his foot on her ass and pushing forward as hard as he could.

Right into another face of sand, as Hiccup sat back down and the adults just stared at them.

As Cami got up, sputtering and spitting, Hiccup stared back at them, "What? I warned her didn't I?" He turned around to Cami, "As good as it is to see you, we have business to discuss. Now, kindly sit down and behave." He turned back to Bertha, "Now, we were about to go over last nights catch. You can talk about your sails after that, yeah." The woman nodded and shrugged, which caused the present males to be momentarily distracted by generous jiggling, "Good, Merle what shape are those ships in?"

The red- headed shipwright swallowed the last of his breakfast, "Excellent, actually. Almost brand new, the both of them and worth at least 300 gold each, to my reckoning." He shrugged and huffed, "Don't know how we'll get them back home, so I say we get rid of them and the prisoners both down in Spain."

Hiccup scratched his head, "Maybe, what about the prisoners Inga?" The only woman of the group shook her head, "Well, they're all Sicilians and Catholic, so the Moors will pay pretty well for them. Individually or by the group. And with thirty of them, they can sail the ships all the way to their own auction blocks."

This brought a generous chuckle from the group, "Skolt, what about the cargo they were carrying? Is it enough to compensate us coming here?" The axe-man smiled for the first time since leaving Berk, "I should say so, sir. Six chests of silver, ingots not coins, another of gold, and eight bolts of good silk, to name the most valuable treasure. As well, as a selection of dies, several volumes on various subjects, and this small bag, the contents of which we have decided is to be the 'Beloved Leader Bonus'."(1)

Hiccup caught the bag Skolt tossed to him and hefted it, "You're joking right, Beloved Leader Bonus sounds like something out of a bad adventure story." He felt a number of oblong objects in the pouch and looked back up at Skolt with one eyebrow raised, He dropped the sack between his legs and clapped his hands, "Right then," he looked over at Bertha. "To business?"

I am changing the rating, for reasons of my own. Also, is Rusty always eating because he has low metabolism, or is it an oral fixation

(1) Yes, this is a reference to The Return of Jafar. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then, screw you. And if you do know, then I got to ask, did you ever watch all the way through the credits and seethe scene with that little fat guy hanging in the tree. Funny, right.

Listen, I'm sort of stalled on how to right some of the upcoming scenes, so instead of updating this one soon I will start writing another story


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the wait, I had to get Hacker out of my system before I could continue this one. I've recently decided that there won't be a sequel, FC will run epic length through France, then the movie, then will continue sometime afterwards and finish with a 'years later epilogue'.

French Connection Chapter Six:

Bargaining and Old Friends

Hiccup looked up at the light studded clouds in the sky, looked back down and sighed," The truth is that I can't imagine this campaign lasting to much longer. Maybe another week at most," He looked at his lieutenants, "But if Chartreuse doesn't come out to play in the next fight, then we'll have to hope that what we did was enough for Philippe to handle the rest himself."

A round of nods followed this statement, and looking in their eyes, Hiccup knew they weren't just agreeing because he was in charge and the son of the chief. They sincerely agreed with and respected his opinion. He looked over at Bertha who had a bewildered look on her face, "Now that you know our financial circumstances, as the injured party, perhaps you would like to open the negotiations?"

"Ha!" She uttered a short laugh,"If you lot are doing that well, we might as well join you for the fun, and claim our share of the spoils!" She turned to her party, "Right girls!" To a loud cheer, and looked back toward Hiccup with a grin, "We are sixty-five effective warriors, and Bog Burglars never turn down a fight or a chance for easy pickings. And here it looks like we get both at once."

Hiccup chuckled,"Well, there's no arguing that, is there?" He looked at Skolt, "Rearrange the combat teams. I'll go tell Richelieu that he can take his men home. Then I'm going to sleep, forty-five hours is too long to stay awake."

just a holdover to keep you happy. I'm not getting much feedback that could help me write, I mean, if I like your ideas then I could find a way to use them. But between this story, Hacker Couple and at least one more I'm writing, I need some help.


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How to Train Your Dragon, Adventure