How to Train Your Dragon 1. A New Story

**Done due to the fact I think there should be more Human!Toothless. I think he'd be pretty. Very, very pretty.  
>I'm creepy, oh golly how did you get that idea?<strong>

**Enjoy the shitty cliche storm.  
>Oh and a warning, there might be some hints of ToothCup; I tried to not let that happen but goddamn their relationship teeters on the bizarre when they're both humans. Thank god they don't talk much holy jeez.<strong>

**I regret nothing.**

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><p>"<em>NIGHT FURY AT LARGE IN BERK."<em>

Hiccup felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion, staring at the headline on a local political gossip magazine. After a moment of silence, he looked up slowly to the beefy man sitting across from him in an armchair.

"…'Night Fury?'"

"It's the name the city's given the bastard." The ginger man scowled, "But that's not what should be mentioned here. Do you know who the Night Fury is?"

Hiccup stared at his boss, afraid to answer.

"He is a local vigilante. Do you know what that means?" He didn't wait for a reply this time; instead his voice grew louder with each word. "It mean's he is becoming a god damned local super hero; and the people of Berk are eating it up like candy! So do you know what that means? That means that we, and our _competitors, Hiccup_, will give them stories about him! So this, _this_ is why I have called you in today." The man gasped for breath, face purple.

"WHY ARE WE THE ONLY GOD DAMNED PAPER WITH NOTHING ABOUT HIM?" Hiccup flinched as the paper was torn from his hands, then banged onto his boss' desk repeatedly. "OUR TOP COMPETITORS- THIS PIECE OF SHIT GOSSIP MAGAZINE OF ALL THINGS- HAS BEEN STEALING OUR READERS! FUCK, READERS? WHATEVER READERS WE DID HAVE! NOBODY READS PAPERS ANYMORE, AND IF WE LOSE WHAT WE DO HAVE, WE'LL BE SHUT DOWN! SO WHY THE HELL ARE WE SITTING HERE WITH OUR FINGERS UP OUR ASSES AND NOT APPEALING TO THEM? WELL, HICCUP?"

"I-I don't know, Sir-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT." He slapped the paper down in front of the gangly young man with finality, "I hired you because of your writing ability; and I expect you to use it." He pointed at the fuzzy picture of the black silhouette that faced up at them. "You will get me a story on this man in a week. Or it's back to being a file organizer, Hiccup."

For a moment, they stared at one another, before the younger man bowed his head, nodding slightly, "Sure thing… Boss."

* * *

><p>"But you don't <em>get it<em>, Astrid! How could he expect something like that from me?" Hiccup tangled his fist into his shaggy red-brown hair, growling slightly down at the table. The girl he was sitting across from rose an eyebrow, bringing her feet up to rest on the tabletop next to him. She nudged his shoulder with the toe of her black high-tops.

"Come on, Man, don't get all freaked out over this. Stoic probably has a real good reason for choosing you." He looked up at the blonde woman as she absently picked at the apron of her uniform for work.

"You think so?" He asked hopelessly. She smirked at him.

"You do look a lot like Lois Lane."

He smacked her feet off the table as she guffawed loudly.

"Oh ya, ha ha, real funny." He scowled as she bent over, still laughing. "God, my misery shouldn't be this entertaining for you!"

"Ooh, but- Haha; it is!" Astrid shook her head with a teasing grin. "You're just an easy target, is all."

He pouted looking away, flicking his pen idly that had been sitting by his notes and a laptop. She rolled her eyes at his childish display. "Fine, how 'bout a coffee? I'll pay for it."

He slowly looked at her, still pouting. She stood with a sigh, before looking at him slightly patronizingly. "It'll help, and you know it."

He sighed, finally sagging back into his chair, "Fine. Thanks Astrid."

A moment later, a styrofoam glass of sugary coffee sat next to him on a napkin as he clicked away on his laptop, brow furrowed in concentration. Every few minutes, he would reach for it and take a sip, never breaking eye contact as he continued on his search on information on the Night Fury- Usually hit places, common types of criminals, or whether or not their was a pattern in the way the Night Fury behaved that could lead Hiccup to finding a way to talk to him- If he could. Really, compared to hunting down a vigilante to get a good story for his boss, being a filer didn't sound so bad.

Heaving a sigh after glancing at the time, he snapped his laptop shut, gathering all of his supplies and stuffing them into his messenger bag. Pulling it onto his shoulder as he grabbed his coffee, he waved at Astrid as he pushed the door to the Starbucks open.

"Careful, Hiccup!" She called after him, and he only smiled with a laugh in return.

The streets of Berk were something Hiccup had come to love, respect, and hate all throughout his 21 years of being one of their faithful citizens. They always seemed to be desolate, and dirty, and had an omnipresent darkness about them that always reminded him of the dorky comic books one of his old high school friends had enjoyed so much. Could never remember his name- Everyone had just called him 'Fishlegs' for no apparent reason.

And his parents had wondered why he had always been picked on in school.

But, even with the cliché atmosphere they gave off, Hiccup still loved to walk around the large metropolis at dusk, when everything seemed to grow past the dank and dirty and into a half light, and the streets seemed to be held at their brightest and most beautiful right as the sun went down. The whole town was set on fire- The sunset's of Berk. Because, he'd be a fool to think he stayed for the _good company_, or something.

Hiccup suppressed a small chuckle at the thought, before weaving around a corner, and edging into a thin road in between two brick four-storey's. He unconsciously ran over the path to his large apartment complex in his mind, gazing at the shallow puddles on the crumbly tar one-way street.

During this, he absently brought his coffee to his lips; only to freeze, hearing something at the edge of the street. He took a shaky breath, keeping his eyes down and strained at the wet tar; instantly feeling himself kick into an adrenaline rush. His heart beat painfully, already listening intensely for anymore noise- And he didn't have to wait long.

Raucous laughter and whistling soon filled up the street, bouncing off the cavernous brick walls and echoed in his mind, layered over glass being broken and garbled speech; making Hiccup feel his stomach plummet to his feet.

_Oh god. Their drunk. I'm going to die. I'm going to die tonight. Ooh god, oh god, oh god. Please let me get out of this alive. Please._

Repeating his prayer several times over in his mind, Hiccup slowly made his way to the mouth of the road, and even though his turn was to the right, he quickly made a bee-line for the left so he didn't have to walk around the drunkards; but faltered slightly in his pace as footsteps seemed to start up behind him, along with a lack of cracking glass and more low chuckles. Hiccup swallowed thickly. _I'm going to die tonight._

Just as he started to increase his speed, he felt a hand enclose the entire width of his upper arm, and yanked him back slightly.

"Hey, there." A hoarse male voice ghosted next to his ear, "You in a rush?"

Hiccup didn't even get a chance to think before he reacted.

Letting out an animalistic screech, he tried to rip himself free, only for the other hand of the drunken man to enclose over his mouth with a curse. Hiccup quickly sank his teeth into the man's hand, making the man immediately let go with a yowl of outrage.

"BOBBY, GRAB THE SONNOVA BITCH!" He ordered as the boy fell from his grasp. Hiccup collected himself quickly, before he ripped the cap off his coffee, throwing the scalding liquid out onto the two men. Not looking back, he shot back down the narrow street, ignoring the drunk's angered yammering; only a way to get out of the situation.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god- Maybe I should go back to Astrid. She'll give me a ride. Or run out into the street, someone will stop, and help- Or bang on doors, I could stop a pedestrian or- Wait! Call the cops! Call the cops!_

Ignoring the fire burning in his lungs, he fought with the pocket of his dark green sweater advertising the Journalism Dept. of his local college, before pulling out his cell. Staggering slightly, he flipped it open and paused with a small hesitance- Only for a moment, to look at the keys- then he hit the '9', and reached with his thumb to the '1'-

Before something grabbed the back of his sweater, pulling him back, and the phone sailed out of his hands.

Hiccup felt himself zero out of the moment as his last hope fell through the chill night air; not reacting to the large hands that turned him around, that pushed him and held his throat as someone held his arms behind him, nor the same hoarse, enraged voice that seemed to rumble like thunder and shake Hiccup to his very foundations as it simply stated, "That was rude." Only the distant clattering of that cell, echoing through his skull and the blood rushing in his ears.

_I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die! I'm going to get raped and mugged and murdered and I'll DIE because I came to the wrong place at the wrong time like I always do and I'm going to DIE DIE DIE-_

"Hey."

The two men froze at the voice, instantly tightening their grip on Hiccup as he nearly collapsed right there in their grasp. He didn't know how, but he found the strength to look at the opening of the street; but what he saw was enough to truly knock the last of his breath out of him.

A man. He didn't look anything wholly special, but he did have a sense of oddness- With the way he dressed and how he was holding himself in a confident and almost bored manner. He wore dark, sturdy jeans, with what looked like combat boots Hiccup was sure he had seen for sale somewhere in Wal-Mart, along with a black T-shirt that had a peeling design on the front. He had a pair of leather gloves on, and a face mask usually worn by doctors covering his mouth.

But that wasn't what had knocked the breath out of him, even though it was a strange assemble; it was his eyes- Those well hidden, mesmerizing eyes behind a thick mane of pitch black hair. Hiccup felt his mouth fall open as he stared, drinking up the golden green gaze; catching his breath sharply when he realized they were looking directly at _him_. The man shifted his head slightly, as if saying a silent message to him, before shaking the thing in his hand.

Hiccup's cell phone.

"Did one of you drop this?" He asked casually, a look over taking his eyes that held far too much mirth for the attackers liking. The man who was restraining him opened his mouth to retort, but Hiccup cut him off.

"Night Fury." He whispered, eyes wide, shock and fatigue from adrenaline making his body shake- Or maybe that was from knowing he would have a chance to survive? He didn't know. Nor care, he'd come to say in his close future, along with a modest 'I was just being melodramatic.'

The men, though; had heard this silent murmur, and quickly gasped. "Night Fury?" The unnamed man shouted, sweat running down his forehead, "DAMMIT!" Bobby quickly released Hiccup's arms and took off running. The other flung Hiccup forward, right into the notorious vigilante before them; snapping something at Bobby about running without thinking.

The Night Fury quickly caught the falling young man, before they both fell to the ground becoming a tangled mess of limbs. The dark haired boy had cushioned the fall by catching the ground with his elbow, and with his other hand, he shook Hiccup with a hint of urgency.

"Kid? Kid!" He shouted; Hiccup shook his head weakly.

"Not… A kid, dammit…"

"Stay with me here, okay? I need you to go home, right now. I have to-"

"Can't…" Hiccup felt his head dip down, before he quickly clutched the Night Fury's shirt so he didn't fall. "I can't feel my head!" Hiccup gasped with wide eyes.

"Great, you've gone into shock. Perfect." He stated sarcastically back to the yammering boy he was holding.

"I…I…"

"Okay, I need to go and get those idiot's so can you just-" The Night Fury froze, glancing down.

Hiccup had fainted.

"God, dammit."

* * *

><p>When Hiccup woke up, the sun had already risen over the horizon and his digital clock proudly proclaimed it was 9:28 AM, making him late for work, and extremely confused.<p>

He stared at the clock, cluttered around many notebooks of many sizes and purposes, pens and papers and a lone lamp all brought together on the desk across from his bed… Which he was actually tucked into, he noticed idly, without shoes; but still wearing his jeans and college sweater. Also, his bag was unceremoniously thrown on the chair next to his desk, while he usually put it in the living room…

But that wasn't the only thing. _How _exactly did he get home in the first place? Hiccup shook his head, shying away from the thought without thinking much about it; as if it deeply embarrassed him and his subconscious was kind enough to leave it alone for the moment. Instead, he turned his attention back to the room in which he found himself.

His earthy green eyes narrowed in confusion as he pushed himself up with his elbows, glancing around the room, taking in little differences and growing more and more freaked out by the minute. Then, as if to sum up the whole ordeal, he noticed the window, where he actually felt his mouth fall open. The curtains were open, a dead giveaway that something was up, but even more strange was a lone piece of paper stuck in the latch that flickered slightly with the passage of air with the morning breeze.

Quickly throwing back his comforters, Hiccup stumbled to the window, pulling out the paper; before his eyes widened at the scrawl written there:

'_Be seeing you, Hiccup. Hopefully you don't faint next time._

_-The 'Night Fury' (Um. What?)_

…_Also. You. What kind of name is that anyway? Are you Irish or something? Whatever.'_

Hiccup open and closed his mouth in shock, blinking rapidly.

"W-W-Wha…What the hell?" He finally shouted, gripping the paper. Shoving it into his pocket, he quickly opened his window, straining his neck to look around the city; even though he knew it foolish to think the boy may still be there. Finally stopping, he looked out to the sunrise, still sticking his head out the window and his hands on the sill. His face slowly melted into one of astonishment as he shakily pulled the paper out once more, glancing over it a second time in wonder.

"'Be seeing you'…?" He whispered to himself, numbly considering the fact he may just be able to get that story after all. He glanced back up at the sky, a small smile appearing against his better judgment. "I hope so, Night Fury."

Somewhere, in the deep workings of Berk, infront of a small flower shop, a dark haired boy with yellow eyes was smiling, too; before he chuckled, walking back inside to go to work.

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><p><strong>Yes, Hiccup uses a PC.<br>Yes, Astrid works at Starbucks.  
>Yes, Toothless would so totally work at a flowershop.<br>Yes, Hiccup gets a bit girly when he's scared.**

**And he only fainted because of that scene in the movie so please put down your guns you're freaking me out.**


	2. Journalist Juju

**Why hello there. This is a second chapter. That is... Overdue? Maybe? Whatever I always take forever to update get used to it.**

**And there is no Toothless in this chapter. You know what, don't expect him until chapter four. That's what I'm planning anyway so just.  
>Wait. Patience.<strong>

**Good, Mind Slave.**

**Past warnings apply!**

* * *

><p>Hiccup stared at his cell phone, allowing himself to relentlessly tap his pen against the top of his kitchen counter. Just as he was about to reach out for the device, a sharp ding came from his microwave, and his pen flew out of his hand in surprise.<p>

"Ugh, god dammit-" He groaned, putting his head in his hands, still shaking. Ever since he had finally left the window, Hiccup had progressively stopped being psyched about getting to meet his topic, but more and more freaked out as the weight of what had happened settled in. he had seen the Night Fury. Been attacked; could have quite possible been hurt or killed in the process… And now, late for work, with no real inkling of wanting to go there.

So ever since this realization, he had been pacing around his small apartment, trying to figure out what was best for him to do now. He was, what; almost two hours late for work? Did he really risk getting reamed by Stoic when already every little noise gave him a mini-heart attack? God, he just didn't know. A sick day would be really helpful, but he needed the money, and he still had a few classes he needed to take to finally reach that degree he wanted, and Stoic would easily see through the fact he wasn't actually sick (though being more than a little freaked out after nearly getting mugged and raped and who knew what else before being saved by the local vigilante who he _just so happened _to be writing a story about-)

Hiccup felt like banging his head on the counter.

He grimaced instead, and went to the microwave, taking out a plate of old take-out. That he had been planning on eating last night, so it wouldn't be considered old. _Dammit, Hiccup, stop thinking about last night!_

Fighting against the idea to just toss it out, he picked up a fork from the cutlery drawer and headed back to his counter, continuing to stare at the phone while he ate. The mini-staring contest lasted longer than the amount of time it took him to finish eating, and once again he was left to fight with himself over what he should do. After his thoughts had circled around for the fifth time, he acknowledged that fact he was just poking holes in the Styrofoam plate he had been using with his fork and this did not qualify as accomplishing anything, so he let if fall from has hands and picked up his cell phone.

Pushing himself away from the counter and hooking his foot around the leg of a chair by his table, he flopped into it haphazardly, resting his head on his hand while the dial tone from his cell played in his ear. Hiccup grimaced, letting out a groan when someone finally picked up.

"Berk Tribune; this is Rachel speaking." Hiccup blinked at the lazy tone.

"…Ruff? I didn't know you were a secretary on Thursdays." He allowed himself a moment of relief when his voice sounded as haggard as he felt.

"What the hell, Hiccup?" Her voice suddenly became a bit more interested. "I heard Stoic screaming an hour ago about something involving tape worms and you and a story about that douche-baggy badass wannabe crime fighter that's been running around. What the hell did you do?"

"Tape worms?" No, that was not a squeak of fear in his voice. Hiccup was sure. "I-I mean… Nothing. It's just…"

"And you're super late or some shit. Are you playing hooky or something? This isn't high school, Dufus."

"I'm not playing hooky, Rachel." Hiccup sighed, "I'm actually sick."

"Boo, you whore." Hiccup gaped at the comment, "You are like, so lucky you dated my best friend back in high school, or I would totally not be writing you off like this."

"Oh, god, thank you so much." Hiccup sighed, banging his head on the table. Rachel snorted on the other end.

"Ya, whatever Dude. I'm calling Astrid and telling her you're being an idiot again."

"What-?"

And with that the stubborn girl hung up. _Seriously, are there _any_ polite people in this city? Just one?_

* * *

><p>Hiccup wished he could work from home more often. With all the windows latched shut, door locked, and curtains drawn, his past anxiety was long gone and replaced with a renewed need to figure out his next move. Which was apparently building a fort out of his blankets and hiding underneath it with his laptop. He really had never felt better.<p>

Though, these 'articles' and 'detailed spectators reports' that popped up with every search was making Hiccup's eyebrow twitch.

_None of this is right. All of the descriptions seem…_ The young journalist held back a scoff, _Batman-like._ And as far as Hiccup was concerned, The 'Night Fury' was no Batman; but more of a young adult with too much free time. Hell, from the few moments he had gotten a look at the boy, he couldn't have even qualified as Robin. With an inner snort, Hiccup imagined that he was more the type of that human crime fighter in the old cartoon about mutant turtles. _Oh god, I'm starting to sound like Fishlegs._ _What would Ruff say? Or Astrid? …I will never live this down._

Hiccup sighed, slouching back to rest his shoulders and head on the side of his bed, which was serving as a sturdy wall of his blanket fort. Clicking idly on the arrow keys, he scrolled back to the top of the window, staring at the pixilated picture of the Night Fury. It was the same one from the news article Hiccup was nearly assaulted with yesterday at work. "Fuck you." He muttered at the screen, sounding more like a moping puppy than resentful.

Still glaring pointedly at the image, he quickly opened another tab and went to his typical search engine, typing quickly so he didn't just stop before he registered what he was doing. Images quickly loaded up on the screen, and Hiccup groaned, banging his head on the side board of his bed. Nothing. Even when you ignored the unnecessary bullshit images that weren't what he was looking for, _none_ of them had the defining characteristic that stuck with Hiccup more then just the vigilante showing up.

Those damn yellow eyes. Hiccup had never seen anyone have such… an outlandish eye color before. _So what are they? Color contacts? But that's impossible. The guy looked dirt poor- He couldn't afford them. …And even if he could; who would instantly think: 'Hey, I'm going to be a hero! Time to buy some color contacts!'? No one, that's who. It would be way more smarter to buy… I dunno, proper attire? A bullet proof vest? Your own personal ambulance on speed dial?_

"But the point is, they have to be his real eye color… None of the reports mention anything blocking his face-" Hiccup paused. "Oh, sonnova- But- No. No way."

After going back to his first tab and staring at the image, his mouth dropped open. "I can't believe this. Has The Gobber really fallen that low?" The brunette put his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. "Why am I even surprised, ugh. I can't believe they made up all this bullshit. It's all fake."

A small silence, and Hiccup clicked the tab off, "Well so much for that idea." And once more, he was left sitting in a blanket fort, pouting in front of a computer screen with no real clue on what he was going to say for his article.

"…" Hiccup pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation, "…So… None of the pictures are real; they're photoshopped… And… I have had a face to face encounter with the Night Fury… Maybe, I could make my own report? And editorial may be better. But editorial's aren't front page material. I'd need to bullshit this one, wouldn't I? But that sounds so… _eeh_." The brunette covered his face with his hands, pushing his eyelids as if it would help the story come to him more clearly. "Besides, the public has been force-fed this crap ever since this guy started hitting big name criminals. We'd need something that stood out. Like an eye witness. I'm an eyewitness." His hands dropped.

"I'm an eyewitness and I have nothing to say." Hiccup felt a pool of hesitance build in his gut, and was once more greeted by the wonderful feeling of just wanting to run his head into a wall. "I have absolutely _nothing _to _say_."

It took several moments for the harsh reality of his words to hit him.

"Oh god no. No no no. That isn't possible. Is it? It can't- I can't- But, I- No! No no no! Ooh _god_-!" He was cut off shortly by the ringing of his cell phone, causing him to let out a girlish shriek. Fumbling with the device (that had somehow managed to get wedged under the pillows and throw blankets he was using as cushions to sit on) he flipped it open with panicked jolty motions and to put the icing on the cake answered with a warm, "OH GOD WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?"

"…" There was a disbelieving snort, "It's me, Astrid? Do you not look at the name that appears on your cell when someone calls or-"

"GOD ASTRID I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING PLEASE SHUT UP."

"What-?"

"Okay, is it possible for a journalist to have writers block? IS IT POSSIBLE MY JUJU IS DEAD? MY JUJU DIED, ASTRID."

"Woah, woah, what was that about _what_ now?"

"I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING. I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS; AND IT'S NOT LIKE SOMETHING REALLY BAD HAPPENED. ALL I DID WAS HAVE A PANIC ATTACK AND FAINT- Oh god. I fainted. On the guy. _It's his fault! HE STOLE MY JUJU AND NOW I CAN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE_."

"HICCUP-"

"THE THIEF. JUVENILE DELINQUENT. PETTY ASSHOLE. I-I… Astrid, I'm so confused…" They both seemed to breathe in simultaneously to speak, but Hiccup beat the shocked girl to the punch. "I don't even have a reason to be so wigged out; all I did was get mugged and then all this shit happened and then he showed up and I touched him and and- BUT WAIT I didn't touch him, I was _thrown _at him! I had no say in the matter! But it's still his fault because he is fucking up my life. God, this is just- I didn't _do anything, Astrid_. I don't even have a reason to go badass like in the movies because nobody even _died_. Like in that old Jodie Foster movie, where her husband got killed and shit. _I don't even have a dead husband to back up my paranoia_."

"…Sweet mother of- Hiccup, are you alright?"

Hiccup sighed, then wearily muttered, "…Ya… Sorry, I just… ugh, this has never happened before."

Astrid scoffed with worried indignation, "What, you losing your mojo or coming to realize you didn't have a dead husband?"

Hiccup gave a small mirthful laugh, "Both. …And it's juju. Journalist Juju."

"Whatever." It was silent for a short moment, before Astrid said something to someone on the other end, then spoke again to Hiccup. "My lunch break ends in ten. …Do you wanna talk about what happened? You haven't been this… upset… well, ever. And Ruff made it sound like you weren't this bad but-"

"You talked to Ruff?"

"She texted me at about ten thirty-ish, maybe later. Said to call you when I had the chance… With good reason, I'm starting to see."

"Ugh." Hiccup rested his head on the side board of his bed again, "I thought she was kidding."

"Hiccup? Seriously, you want to talk or what?" Astrid said sharply; she wasn't good at being empathetic, least of all when the other was too wrapped up in their own thoughts to see she was trying. The boy grimaced against himself.

"Uh, ya; um… Later? Didn't you mention you got off at five yesterday?"

"…Ya…" The apprehension in her voice was evident, and made Hiccup's grimace deepen.

"Okay… Can you come over after work then? …I don't want to leave the house."

"I-"

"Yes, I know how much of a pussy that makes me look like. Please?" Astrid sighed at him across the phone, before he heard a scuffling sound crackle over to him.

"'Kay, then. I'll see you in five hours or so. Don't do anything stupid while I'm working."

"Define 'not stupid'?" He joked half-heartedly.

"I don't know; go on Facebook, play some games, Spider Solitaire, sleep, do your homework, clean the house, reorganize your DVD collection. Whatever it is geeks like you do when you're on edge."

Hiccup sighed at her clipped tone; and was reminded why dating her had been such an issue back in the day. She certainly hadn't changed much since then.

"…'Kay. Thanks."

"Ya, see you."

And with that, he hung up the phone before she had the chance to; leaving him to stare at the screen of his laptop, watching his screen saver flash by: "- SHOULD BE WORKING. YOU SHOULD BE WORKING. YOU SHOULD BE-" He snapped it shut, setting it outside his fort while he put his head in his open palm- preoccupied thoughts whirling around too quickly to be made sense of.

* * *

><p>Hiccup was rereading the same page he had been trying to get through for the past thirteen minutes when there was a knock on his door. The book flew from his hand (he couldn't tell you the title, he hadn't even cared. Something to do with a vampire?) and rushed to it, stuttering out a quick 'Just a minute' before opening the door for Astrid.<p>

"Thanks for coming, can I get you a soda or maybe a coffee, or som-"

"So what's the deal, Hiccup?" The blonde woman quickly flopped onto his couch, dismissing his babbling and stared at him pointedly. "Don't try to wheedle out of this; you asked me to come over here. So come on."

Hiccup sighed.

"Well…" He ran a hand through his unkempt hair, "I don't really…"

"Sit down, and start from the beginning; this isn't rocket science." Hiccup fiddled with the draw strings of his hoodie, before looking at her with a pout. She rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I think you're more of a girl than I am, seriously."

Hiccup snorted, face suddenly losing all weakness, "Pff, ya, _no_; I'm just _pretty sure_ you're supposed to be a man. I am perfectly normal, thanks."

"Oh really?"

"YES."

"You gunna beat me with your purse?"

"YE- Oh, whatever!" He sat on the couch with finality, Astrid quickly moving her feet out of the way as he crossed his arms and growled.

"…So…?" She prodded lightly, crossing her legs and poking him in the forehead. He seemed to physically deflate and turned to her, a small frown in place, as if he wasn't sure to go on. He seemed to reach a conclusion with himself, and sighed; then began.

"Well, I guess the beginning is when I left Starbucks…"

When he was finally done; not leaving out a single thing (not even his rather embarrassing fainting spell), Hiccup also crossed his legs and sat with his back to the armrest, fully facing Astrid. She stared, before slowly reaching to his hoodie pocket and pulled out the note- neither of them saying anything as she read the message and he simply watched.

"I can't believe this."

"I know, it's so stupid-"

"You actually… I mean- Hiccup! This guy is a hero! Well… Not a hero. But pretty good at what he does." She refolded the paper blindly, "And… He actually let you see him?"

Hiccup rose an eyebrow, "…Well, he _did_ try to have the most dramatic entrance he could muster."

"That doesn't sound like the Night Fury."

"What are you saying?" He groaned, resting his head on the back of the couch.

"Come on, it's your job to figure out everything about this guy; how can you not know this?"

"Know _what_?"

"His secrecy. Never lets anyone too close- That's why all the pictures are so hard to make out."

"Oh." Hiccup thought for a moment. "I… I have heard that, actually. It just must've… Slipped. Since I saw him." He blinked, then glanced up at her, "Oh and, those pictures are fakes. They aren't him."

Astrid started, "Um, what?"

"Ya, anyone whose seen the Night Fury would know right away if they saw him in public or in a photo. They're way off."

"Really."

"Ya."

Astrid gave him a look, before she gave him a once over. "Than maybe that's why he let you see."

"What?"

She seemed to look at him distractedly, "Did you ever stop to think that maybe he knew you wouldn't say anything about him?"

"I don't think he's that type of guy."

Her face looked a little baffled, but she continued on, "I mean, he's a freakin' legend around here by now. And you were practically wearing a neon sign saying you were a journalist-" She pointed haphazardly at his sweater, "-so why in the world would he let the first person to see him that wasn't a criminal be you?"

"I don't know, maybe because I was in trouble?" He cut in with a scoff.

She shook her head, "I wouldn't."

He dead-panned, "That's comforting."

"Anyway, what makes you so special?"

"I'd like to think it's my amazing wit and charm." He cut in sarcastically. She glared at him, silently telling him to knock it off.

"Fine then, why don't you tell me why you seem so sure he isn't, and I quote, 'that kind of guy'?"

Hiccup glared at her, "I don't know, okay? He just didn't seem like a hardened Batman-esque anti-hero badass. Just some kid trying to do some good, in a really weird way. I don't think it would ever cross his mind to look out for a person specifically just so it would be okay to show his face while he saved them. It makes no sense."

They stared at each other for a moment, allowing everything to soak in. Finally, Astrid slowly handed back the Night Fury's note, which Hiccup pocketed quickly. She cleared her throat, then looked at the discontent young man across from her.

"Mother's Day is on Sunday…" She let her words drag off as he slowly looked up at her, furrowing his eyebrows. "Maybe, on Saturday we could go and get something? For your mom? After we pick something up I can drive you to the Cemetery. Like an early present; and it could get you out of the house."

Hiccup sighed, then smiled slightly, nodding. "Thanks. That would be… That'd be awesome."

"Kay." Silence grew between them again, before Astrid noticed the book on the floor, "…Seriously? Where in the hell did you pick up the Vampire Diaries?"

* * *

><p><strong>Ya Hiccup's a whiny little guy, I know, I know.<strong>

**But it was the most fun to write so suck it.  
>...Please don't.<strong>

**And Astrid is totally the voice of reason, didn't you see that in the movie, too; guys?  
>(Oh, and. Yes, they did date in this story. They're friends now. It's cool, it's cool.)<strong>


End file.

How to Train Your Dragon, Crime, Humor