Gundam Wing/AC Gundam Wing Meets Pokemon!

Here it is again...Re-uploaded to comply with the new Fanfiction.net rules.   
Disclaimer: Nobody got me Gundam Wing for my birthday...And you people say you're my friends...  
  
  
Chapter One: The New Member of Team Rocket  
  
"Mission...Accepted." Heero Yuy turned and walked out of Giovanni's office. Glancing warily at his three new partners, he headed out of the Team Rocket headquarters building.   
Jessie, James, and Meowth followed him. "Why is it that we have to get stuck with the new guy?" Jessie complained.   
"He's scary." James said.   
"And he don't even have any Pokemon!" Meowth said.   
Suddenly Heero turned around. "What do you know about this Ash kid we're after?"  
"Well, we've been after him for a long time, and we know all about him. We don't need your help." Jessie said haughtily.  
"The Boss told me about your incompetence. Obviously you do need my skills."   
"Ha! You don't have any Pokemon! How do you expect to battle?" James taunted him.   
Before James could react, Heero had his gun pointed directly at James' head.   
James laughed nervously. "Now, now...Let's all get along..."  
Without lowering the gun, Heero asked, "Where was Ash last seen?"   
"Near Pallet Town," James answered. "Now will you please put the gun down?!"  
"Which way to Pallet Town?"   
Jessie pointed to the right. Heero turned and started walking without another word.   
"He...He could have killed me!" James sobbed.   
"What a weirdo." Meowth said, and they all walked after Heero.   
  
They had been walking for quite some time when they came across a kid with unusually long braided hair training a Scyther.   
"Duo?" Heero asked incredulously. "You're a Pokemon trainer?"   
"You're a member of Team Rocket? Wow, you sure look hot in that uniform." Duo asked, staring at Heero.  
  
*Author: DUO! THIS IS NOT A YAOI STORY!!! You have a GIRLFRIEND, remember? *ahem* And now back to the story...*   
  
"Hey, that Scyther looks really strong! Let's steal it!" Jessie said.   
"Good idea, Jess! Go, Weezing!" James sent out his Pokemon.   
"Go, Arbok!  
"Oh, so it's a battle you guys want." Duo said. "In that case, Deathscyther! Use Slash!"   
"Deathscyther? Interesting." Heero commented. Both Arbok and Weezing were taken down by Scyther.   
"Meowth, go battle it!" Jessie demanded. In two quick slashes, Meowth was defeated as well.   
"Deathscyther, go get them!" Duo commanded.  
"Team Rocket will never be defeated!" Heero yelled, then pulled out his gun and shot Scyther.  
"NOOOOOOOO! Deathscythe-I mean, Deathscyther!" Duo screamed. "Heero! I'll get you for this!"   
Heero laughed his trademark Heero Yuy Insane Laugh( and then walked away.   
  
Later, Jessie and James decided to stop in at a Pokemon Center to have Arbok and Weezing healed.   
"May I help you?" A sickeningly sweet, familiar voice asked.   
"Quatre?! What are you doing here? And what...are you wearing?" Heero asked, noticing the pink dress that was typical of Nurse Joys.   
"Well, it just so happens that the Nurse Joy here is one of my 29 sisters, so I've decided to work here and help her out. I love being able to help sick Pokemon...*sniff* It's like a dream come true for me..."   
Trowa appeared next to him, also wearing a pink dress. He had somehow managed to get his hair into two pigtails like Nurse Joy.   
"..........," he said happily.   
"You shouldn't say anything about THAT, Trowa, I don't think the author wants this to be a yaoi story..." Heero cautioned.   
"..........," Trowa protested.  
"I know you love him, but I don't think the author wants to know that..."  
*thunder flashes ominously*   
Jessie and James had their Pokemon healed and the group left the Pokemon Center.   
  
Meanwhile...  
Ash, Misty and Brock had just arrived at Professor Oak's lab in Pallet Town. Ash rang the doorbell.  
A creepy little old man answered the door. *No, not Professor Oak!*   
"Who are you?" Ash asked him.  
"I am Doctor J," the man answered. "I'm Professor Oak's new assistant. We're working on building a Gundam that resembles a Pikachu. We're very busy right now, so please come back later. Goodbye." He closed the door.   
"What's a Gundam?" Ash wondered.  
"Pika pika." Pikachu said, which loosely translates to 'I don't give a s*** you d*** kid so shut the f*** up!'   
  
Chapter Two: Duo's Revenge  
  
Team Rocket had caught up with Ash and his friends.  
"Listen, twerp, we're asking you for the last time, hand over the Pikachu!" Jessie demanded.   
"I'll never let Team Rocket get Pikachu!"  
"Give me the Pikachu," Heero said in his boring, dreary, dull, uninteresting monotone voice *Which I believe the voice actor deserves NO CREDIT WHATSOEVER for* and then pointed his gun at Ash, "Or I'll destroy you."   
Suddenly Relena appeared between Heero and Ash. "Heero! Stop it! What do you want to shoot him for?"   
"Relena..." Heero was staring dazedly at Relena and starting to lower his gun.  
"Don't interfere with Team Rocket!" Jessie tackled Relena and the two started a vicious catfight.   
"Wow, she sure fights well for a pacifist," Heero said admiringly.   
"Go Jessie! Don't let her beat you!" James and Meowth cheered.  
Suddenly, a police siren was heard, and a motorcycle came tearing up to them.   
"All right, weaklings! Break it up!" It was another familiar voice.  
"Wu Fei?!" Heero and Relena said in unison.  
"That's Officer Wu Fei to you! You're under arrest!" Wu Fei was wearing an Officer Jenny uniform, complete with the super-short skirt.  
"Officer...Wu Fei..." Brock said, starting to drool.   
"Um...Brock? That's a guy!" The ever-observant Misty said.  
"He still looks good..."   
  
*Author: BROCK!! I already said this isn't a yaoi story! Stop it!*  
Brock: *Pouting* Fine. But I'd better end up with a cute girl in the end! That Relena chick doesn't look too bad...  
Heero: NO! SHE'S MINE! OMAE O KOROSU! *points gun at Brock*  
*Author: And now back to our story...*  
  
"You're under arrest for disturbing the peace!" Officer Wu Fei said.   
"But, Officer," Ash said, "Team Rocket was trying to steal my Pikachu!"  
"Pikachu are weaklings! They have no sense of justice! Now, here's a Pokemon that knows justice! Go, Nataku!" Officer Wu Fei threw a Poke Ball. Out of the red light materialized...  
"A Weedle?! How can a bug have a sense of justice?!" Ash said, laughing.  
"NEVER MOCK NATAKU!" Officer Wu Fei screamed. "GO, NATAKU! USE YOUR TACKLE ATTACK!"  
The Weedle timidly approached Pikachu, who glared at it. Weedle promptly turned and hid behind the nearest tree, cowering in fear.  
"NO YOU WEAKLING! ATTACK IT!" Wu Fei continued screaming. By this time, everyone else was laughing, even Heero.   
"LAUGH IF YOU MUST, BUT WE'LL COME BACK AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES TO DEFEAT YOU!" Wu Fei said, then hopped back on his motorcycle and drove away.   
"Wait! I didn't get your phone number!" Brock called after him.   
  
*Author suddenly whacks Brock in the head with a paper fan. *  
Heero: Maybe you should hook him up with Duo...  
*Author suddenly whacks Heero in the head with a paper fan.*  
  
"Now we can finally get back to business. Hand over the Pikachu, twerp!" Jessie demanded again.   
"I'll never let Team Rocket get Pikachu!" Ash said defiantly. Heero was just about to pull his gun on Ash when he heard a loud noise behind him. He whirled around and was suddenly looking at the ugliest Gundam he had ever seen.   
"SHINIGAMI IS BACK FROM HELL!" Duo screamed from the cockpit of his new Gundam. It had been built by Professor Oak and Dr. J: The PikachuScythe Hell Custom.  
"Duo? That color scheme is even worse than the original HeavyArms'. Are you by any chance drunk?" Heero said, staring at the bright yellow Gundam.  
"No," Duo said regrettably, "Quatre only lets me drink non-alcoholic champagne."  
"Why are you piloting that thing?"  
"BECAUSE YOU KILLED DEATHSCYTHER AND I MUST AVENGE HIM!" Duo said, pointing his beam cannon directly at Heero.   
"Stop it! What do you want to shoot him for?" Relena said.   
"Um, didn't you already say that?" Heero asked.  
"Oh yeah. Oops."   
"NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DIE, HEERO!" Duo yelled. He fired the beam cannon...   
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three: Relena's Kidnapping and Giovanni's True Intentions  
  
Heero stood, smoldering a bit from the beam cannon shot, but he was otherwise unhurt.  
The Pokemon characters all stared at him. "How...Did he live through that?" Ash wondered.   
Heero laughed the HeeroYuyInsaneLaugh( again. "Duo," he said, "Don't you think that by now you should have figured out I'm immortal?"   
"Blast it! That's not fair!" Duo said. Then suddenly, he got an idea. "If I can't kill you, then I'll kidnap Relena!" He grabbed her in the PikachuScythe Hell Custom's hand and sped off.  
"HEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOO!" Relena screamed, in that annoying way of hers.   
"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, DUO!" Heero yelled after him. "But first, I'll complete the mission." He turned to Ash: "This is your last chance to get out of here alive: hand over the Pikachu," Heero said in his most intimidating (But still very monotone) voice.  
"You'd better do it, Ash, unless you want to get shot." Brock said wisely.   
Seeing that he had no choice, Ash surrendered. "I'm sorry Pikachu..." he said sadly as James enclosed Pikachu in a shock-proof cage.  
"Pika Pikachu," Pikachu said, which loosely translates to, 'You fool! You should be sacrificing your life for me! I am the all-powerful and mighty Pikachu!'  
  
*****  
Heero, Jessie, James and Meowth had returned to Giovanni's office with Pikachu.   
"Well done," Giovanni said, "I will see that you all are handsomely rewarded. You will be notified when you have another mission. Until then, you are free to do as you please. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be alone with Pikachu."  
The group exited the office and shut the door. They had gotten about halfway down the hallway when they heard Giovanni's voice from behind the office door: "Oooh, Pikachu, you naughty little rodent!"  
"Pi Pika Pikachuuuu..." which translates to, well, you probably don't want to know.  
  
*Author: Um...Hehe...Warned you, didn't I? But if Pikachu's a girl, it's not yaoi, right? *starts to laugh insanely* I'm sorry. I know my mind is messed up AND I'M PROUD OF IT!*  
  
  
*****  
Heero stood outside Professor Oak's laboratory. He knocked on the door.  
Doctor J answered it. "Ah! Heero! Come inside, there's something I want to show you."   
Doctor J led Heero to a large hangar. "Professor Oak and I just completed our latest Gundam. It's called the Wing Spearow Custom, and its special ability is flying. Would you be interested in piloting it? I hear Relena has been kidnapped."  
"Mission accepted." Heero said, then climbed into the cockpit of the Wing Spearow Custom and took off at full speed.   
  
A little while later, Heero caught up to Duo.   
"Duo!" Heero said, sending a transmission to the PikachuScythe Hell Custom, "You shouldn't be kidnapping innocent people!"  
"Innocent?" Duo said incredulously, "She's the one that's been stalking you!"  
"HEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOO!" Relena screamed again. "I HAVEN'T BEEN STALKING YOU, I LOVE YOU!"   
"NOOOOOO! I LOVE HEERO MORE!" Duo yelled.   
  
*Author: *Dejectedly* Doesn't anyone listen to me?! This isn't supposed to be a yaoi story...*Gives up* Fine, have your little twisted romances.  
Duo: OUR twisted romances? You're the one that paired Pikachu and Giovanni...  
Pikachu: Pika pika pikachu pi!  
Duo: Hehe...I know what you mean, Pikachu...  
Author: Eww...And now back to the story...*  
  
"NO! HEERO IS MINE!" Relena shrieked.  
"He's saved my life more times than he's saved yours," Duo argued.   
"But he likes me better!"   
"Does not!"  
"Does too!"   
"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP?!" Heero yelled. "We'll settle this my way: a mobile suit battle."   
"But I don't have a Gundam," Relena protested. "And I couldn't pilot it even if I had one!"  
"HA! Looks like I win!" Duo said.   
"No...Unfair battles aren't honorable...You two can just have a nice  
old-fashioned fist fight," Heero decided.   
"You are goin' down, Relena Peace-crap!" Duo said.   
"We'll see about that, Duo Maxwell." Relena said slyly.   
  
  
Chapter Four: The Final Battle and an Odd Ending   
  
Relena and Duo stood glaring at each other in a boxing ring. Various Gundam Wing and Pokemon characters filled the audience.   
"Go, Duo!" Quatre cheered, still wearing his pink dress, "Defeat her in the honor of yaoi!  
"............!" Trowa said.   
"This is going to be one interesting battle," Ash said.  
Brock had been appointed the referee. "This is a one-on-one fight with no time limit. Let the battle begin!"  
Immediately, Relena screamed "Sanq Kingdom Cosmic Crystal Power!"  
*Sailor Moon-ish transformation sequence*  
"I am...Sailor Sanq Kingdom!" Relena said dramatically. "In the name of the Sanq Kingdom, I will punish you!"  
"The people of the Sanq Kingdom are all weak pacifists," Officer Wufei said. "Duo's going to win this fight."  
Relena waved her scepter at Wufei. "Sanq Kingdom...Princess... ELIMINATION!"   
Wufei disappeared in a blast of light and little pink hearts.   
"Oh, yeah?" Duo challenged Relena, "I can transform too!"  
Quatre and Trowa stared at him expectantly.  
"No, you perverts! I'm not gonna wear a skirt!" Duo said, offended. Quatre and Trowa looked extremely disappointed.  
"All right then...Gundam Wing Bishonen Power!"  
  
*Note to all the Japanese illiterate peoples out there: 'bishonen' means 'cute guy.'*  
  
Everyone was staring at Duo, but nothing happened.   
"Oops," Duo said. "Guess that's not gonna work..."  
Relena started waving her wand at Duo.  
"Wait!" Duo said, "I have another magical phrase!" He cleared his throat. "Key of Clow...Power of magic...Power of light...Surrender the wand...The force ignite!"  
Once again, nothing happened.  
"Guess it's not my lucky day," Duo said sadly, "Can't even use Cardcaptors magic."   
"Sanq Kingdom...Princess...ELIMINATION!"   
The blast hit Duo, but he seemed unhurt.   
"Hey, that's not fair!" Relena said. "Heero's the only immortal one here!"  
  
*Author: Well, Relena, I couldn't let some spoiled little princess brat in a Sailor costume kill the absolute best Gundam Wing character, now could I?*  
  
Before Relena could react, Duo punched her in the face. Relena fell to the ground, unconscious.   
"Relena is unable to battle. I officially declare Duo the winner of this match!" Brock said.   
Right away, Duo ran over to Heero and started kissing him.  
  
*Author: But...But...  
Heero and Duo: You said we could have our 'twisted little romance,' remember?  
Author: *Pouts* Okay...But this is NOT a lemon, understand?  
Duo: But Pikachu got to...  
Author: DUO!!!!*  
  
Miraculously, Relena had regained consciousness. "This isn't fair! I deserve Heero more than he does!" She started crying.  
"I can mend your broken heart," Brock said dramatically, "Relena, will you go out with me?"  
"Yeah!" Relena said brightly. "That'll make Heero really jealous!"  
"Somehow I doubt that..." Brock said, looking at Heero and Duo.  
  
The end!!!!   
  
*Author: So, is everybody happy now? Heero and Duo are together, Brock ended up with *cough* a 'cute' girl...  
Ash: I'm not happy! I want Pikachu back!  
Author: Uh, I don't think Pikachu wants to go back to you...  
Ya'll be nice and review now, 'kay?  
  
  
  



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Gundam Wing/AC, Humor