Highlander The TV

  
  
The TV  
Title: The TV  
Fandom: Highlander  
Author: Seven7x  
Email:Seven7x@excite.com  
Feedback:Appriecated  
Distribution: Sevens Fandoms and other. Want it? Ask.  
Disclaimer: all character from Highlander, Highlander the Raven belong to those who ownt he copyright. No Copyright Infrigment is intended. Please don't sue.  
  
NOTE: I Know this has some bad grammer. IT'S INTENTIONAL to brainwash you with it. HAHAHAHA.  
  
Title: The TV  
  
All was cheerful one early November morning. Macloud had got tickets to a football game. Three to be precise. He talked to Joe and got him to agree to go, and they agreed that Methos should go with them. Getting him to go with them was another matter.   
Joe called Methos' flat but there was no answer.  
Maybe he's out. Joe said.  
Or asleep. Macloud said. Methos was never a morning person.  
Lets just go over and surprised him," Joe said smiling  
Fine with me. Just don't be mad when he bites your head off. Macloud smiled. This should be interesting!'  
******************************************************************************  
  
Macloud felt Methos buzz as they arrived at the loft.   
He smiled as Joe knocked on the door.  
Adam. Its us.  
******************************************************************************  
  
Methos opened the door with his sword in hand.  
Methos smiled cheerfully.   
Too cheerfully.  
He gestured for them to come in.  
Macloud got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach as he and Joe entered. Methos closed the door behind them.  
Something was not right.  
Joe noticed the Television on. What are you watching? He asked warily.  
Methos looked at the set and smiled. It something called Sesame Street. I was having trouble sleeping so I thought I'd watch T.V.   
Joe sputtered. Sesame Street. Your kidding.   
Macloud never heard of this street' but it sounded interesting.  
Methos shrugged I was bored. It is intriguing. I especially like the Muppets.  
Joe's mouth fell open. Then he started to laugh. You are kidding right . . . right? He asked.  
Methos shrugged,his eyes going back to the set.  
  
Macloud had no idea what was going on but he decided to change the subject.  
We going to a football game tomorrow. Thought that maybe you would want to come with us. We've got an extra ticket.  
  
Methos tore his eyes away from the set which had the volume muted.  
Sure... whatever. What time? Methos said distractedly.  
Seven o'clock. Pick you up at say six, Macloud said.  
Methos nodded.   
Come on Joe. Macloud pulled the gaping watcher after him. He wanted answers which he couldn't get with Methos in front of him.  
Methos locked the door behind him and the dimly heard the sound of the T.V. restored.   
  
And Methos laughing softly.  
******************************************************************************  
  
Macloud absorbed what Joe said and tried hard not to laugh. Well I got the impression that he doesn't watch television. Not many immortals do. So he really is just a child starting out at this.  
  
You don't get it. For grown ups that show is _mind numbing_ , Joe said incredulously.  
  
He was probably just playing with your mind Dawson. You know how he gets. It's his favorite pastime. Macloud chuckled.  
  
Yeah I guess. Joe smiled, relaxing a bit.  
******************************************************************************  
  
The next day Macloud and Joe were at Methos' flat to pick him up for the game.   
Joe knocked at the door. Adam it's us, Joe called.  
Methos opened the door with his sword in hand.  
Methos smiled at them brightly.  
Too brightly.   
He gestured for them to come in.  
Macloud noticed that the television was on.   
He gulped in spite of himself.   
You ready? Macloud asked.  
Methos looked at him confused.  
Macloud frowned The game. The football game is in a hour.  
Methos kept frowning That's tomorrow   
Macloud blinked and noticed Methos was wearing the same clothess as yesterday. What the . . . ' he thought.   
He looked at Joe and noticed the other paled considerably.  
It's today. Have you slept Methos? Macloud asked concerned.  
Oh sure Methos totally lied I just forgot. Give me a minute. He went and pulled something out of a drawer and went to the bathroom.  
  
Joe looked at the set and paled more.  
Oh no. he mutter and looked away.  
  
What. Joe. What is it. Macloud asked quietly so Methos wouldn't hear him.  
Joe didn't say anything.  
He just looked shocked.  
Just then Methos came out ... in new clothes Macloud noted.  
  
Joe looked at him  
The Muppets Methos! Joe asked quietly Not the Muppets.  
  
Methos shrugged and smiled. I never realized these thing were on television. It's amazing that I never noticed it before. But then his expression went deadly. But take my advice Joe, don't watch. Barney it's truly the most sadistic show in the universe. Even in my horsemen days I could never have come up with that. He shook himself as if to dispel unpleasant memories.  
Methos grabbed his coat and said Are we going? Methos opened the door to walk out.  
  
Macloud followed him until he realized Joe wasn't following. He glanced back at Joe and saw he was ready to faint. His eyes anywhere but on the T.V.  
  
He rushed back and gently led Joe out of the flat.  
******************************************************************************  
  
1 week later  
  
Methos had not left his flat since the game and Macloud and Joe were worried.   
Worried to the point of terrified.   
Joe had told Macloud the television was addictive if you watched it too long. Macloud scoffed saying that Methos was five thousand years old. A box couldn't beat him.  
But nevertheless they were having trouble getting him out of the flat. They called, but Methos seemed to ignore the phone.   
Finally they resolved to go over.  
But they weren't prepared for what they found.  
  
Macloud and Joe knocked at the door of the flat.  
Adam it's us... we need to talk. Joe called.  
Methos opened the door with his sword in hand.   
Methos smiled at them softly.   
Too softly.   
He gestured for them to come in.  
Macloud and Joe wearily entered and Methos shut the door behind them.  
Methos... we thought maybe you wanted to come with us. Were going to a rock concert.  
There are some good groups in town! Macloud asked. His eyes pleading.  
Can't Mac. Show on. Methos said, eyes wide as if that explained it all. Macloud and Joe nodded their heads mechanically, terror seeping into their veins slowly.  
  
Joe stepped over to the couch and glanced at the box. What is it today?  
Methos said off-handily.  
Joe walked closly up to the t.v.   
As he warily looked at the set he saw A Halloween Special   
Oh no.' was his first thought as he was drawn in.  
He needed to sit down.  
  
Macloud didn't know what that meant except Joe's face paled considerably.  
His eyes were glued to the set and he was . . . 'oh no' he thought this can't be happening' He was sitting down.   
They were both sitting down.  
He saw Joe lips twitch, as if fighting a smile. Then they both laughed at what some man said. Macloud felt himself edging toward the door. As horror swept into him.  
  
When Methos and Joe erupted in a deep laughter Macloud ran for the door.  
  
As he ran, he heard their laughter echo in the hallway.  
******************************************************************************  
  
Macloud got reinforcements.   
Namely Amanda.   
He told her what happened, she laughed and assured him it was probably nothing. Methos was probably playing a mind trick on him and got Joe to go along with him.   
But Macloud was very insistent. So she agreed to go.  
  
When the arrived Methos answered the door with his sword in hand when they knocked and Amanda called out to Methos.   
Methos smiled at them sweetly.   
Too sweetly.   
He gestured for them to come in.   
Macloud and Amanda entered as Methos closed the door and put the sword away.  
Macloud noted that Joe was on the couch eating popcorn, eyes glued to the box in front of him.  
Amanda walked over to Methos and placing a hand on his arm she asked sweetly. So Methos.... Macloud said you had a new hobby. Care to fill me in?   
Macloud was horrified by what she said. He asked her to be discreet!  
Methos smiled secretively. Macloud has an overactive imagination. We just passing the time is all. And went to sit with Joe.   
  
Amanda moved around the couch and noticed something.   
She knelt beside the coffee table and picked up a book and looked at it as it was the holy bible.   
Macloud leaned over to see what it was. And his heart stopped.   
Soap Opera Magazine.   
Bloody hell!   
  
Amanda eyes went uncertain. But Macloud could see the twinkle of curiosity and eagerness there as she glanced at the set. Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn . . . Macloud desperately trying to think of something fast.  
  
What are we watching. Amanda asked.   
Macloud was horrified WE . . . **We**'   
**She said _WE._**  
All my children, Joe answered.  
Amanda quickly went through the book she held, looking it up.  
Noooo', Mac's thoughts screamed.  
Amanda? he questioned.  
Just a minute Duncan. Amanda said distractily  
Next thing Macloud he was marching out of the apartment, trying to sort out in his mind where it all went so horribly _horribly_ wrong.  
  
She is one of us now. Methos whispered.  
We will have the Scott soon. Joe said in the same eerie tone.  
It is only a matter of time. Methos responded.  
Only a matter of time. they said in unison and laughing mechanically.  
Meanwhile Amanda looked back and forth between Soap Opera digest and the Television.  
******************************************************************************  
  
The Highlander looked at the door at the end of the hallway.   
On the other side of that door was where they were.   
Macloud swallowed nervously and felt that he was in a bad western movie being called out. He knew he was their last line of defense. If he fell no one would be able to save them. Sweat trickled down his forehead. He steeled himself for what was to come. He walked cautiously toward the door.   
Show no fear.' he thought fervently.  
They can smell fear.'  
Reaching the door he gulped and . . . knocked.  
  
The door open and there was Methos with his sword in hand.   
Recognition flicked in the gold- green depths.   
And he smiled pleasantly.   
Too pleasantly.   
Macloud come on in, he said sweetly.   
Macloud gulped and entered as Methos closed the door behind him. He quickly scanned the room. Amanda and Joe were sitting on the coach looking at him expectantly.   
Faces full of cheer.   
Macloud braced himself and looked at the box. And his heart stopped.   
No it can't be.  
Not this.   
Anything but this!   
_Cartoons.   
_He quickly turned his head away looking at the ground. He looked at his friends. They showed so much promise in the beginning. Amanda, sweet Amandas downfall was the Soap Opera. Joe fell wfor a sitcom. And Methos A.K.A. Adam Pierson, A.K.A. Death on a Horse fell for the Muppets and Sesame Street, which started it all.  
Was there something you wanted Macloud? Methos asked smiling from where he sat down on the couch beside Joe.   
It took a moment to remember what he wanted to say. Yeah.I thought maybe the four of us could go out and do something. Football game, Rock concert, Hunt vampires. The last bit was sarcastic but Amanda and Methos eyes narrowed suspiciously anyway.  
Just then a bang sounded and three heads snapped up from the set.   
Look what you made us miss Mac. The Road Runner just bit it.  
Macloud felt his eyes almost go to the set at Joes' soft words. But he forced himself to stop and pull away.  
The three were no longer paying any attention to him. So he knelt beside the couch and reached out and took Amanda's hand. Her head moved slightly but her eyes remained on the set.  
Amanda sweety. Wouldn't you be more interested to go for a moonlight walk along the lake in the park. Or we could go home . . .   
Not right now Mac.  
Just then there was a bang and the three zombies burst into laughter.  
Once again Mac felt his eyes drawn toward the set. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his breathing.  
He opened his eyes and shouted Don't you see what this is doing to you. Your becoming exactly what it wants.   
Dont let it do this to you. He knew he was being irrational as three sets of eyes blinked back at him. He growled and went for the door as a shot rung out and this time **four** heads snapped at the set. Macloud watched as a big black and white cat, looking singed, said something, tumbled down some stairs just as a yellow bird said I tought I saw a putty tat'. Macloud lips twitched and before he knew what was happening...   
he was sitting on the arm of the couch with Amanda's arms around his waist.   
Aw well' he thought If you can't beat em join em.'  
Methos and Joe glanced at each other and shared a knowing smile and nodded, then went back to the television.  
Eventually Macloud did end it though.The box did have one fatal flaw! During a particularily long and abnoxious infomercial for an expensive remedy for male pattern baldness he put his sword though the T.V. and dragged them forceably out of the apartment. After that they went through television withdrawal. But they eventually went on with their lives.  
Macloud got back to whacking immortal bad guys. Amanda started stealing again. Joe watched as usual. And Methos, well Methos did whatever he usually did.  
But they never watched that set again . . .   
Well... if they did... they just didn't tell each other about it.  



End file.

Highlander, Humor, Parody