Harry Potter 1. The Marauders Christmas Lists

Hullo! My little try at an MST. If I'm lucky, it won't get deleted. ^_^; I don't own any of the HP characters, I think we all know who does.  
  
  
  
"I'm bored." Sirius whined.  
  
"Aren't we all?" James moaned, plopping backwards onto his bed. Everyone was over at his house for the week, and lately they had found that there was nothing to do.  
  
"Hey, look at this!" Remus called to them from over at James's new computer.  
  
"What is it?" Lily asked as everyone made their way to the corner.  
  
"People write stories about us!" He explained, pointing at the computer screen.  
  
"Hey! Read that one! It looks like it has all of us in it!" Peter said, prodding a finger at a blue-linked title.  
  
"Okay…I'll bewitch it to show up on the wall like a projector so we all don't have to cramp around the computer."  
  
"Like a what?"  
  
"Muggle thing that makes things bigger and puts them on the wall." Lily explained.  
  
"Oh." Sirius said, sitting down on the bed. Remus tapped the computer monitor with his wand and the first words appeared on James's cream colored wall.  
  
The Marauders Christmas List  
  
By Calista Black  
  
PETER LIST  
  
Dear Santa,  
  
You're my best friend aside from James and Remus and Sirius even though he turns me different colors. He says its for my own good. I have been really, really good this year. So here are the things I want. Please give them to me. And give stuff to Remus because he helped me write this.  
  
An easy bake oven  
  
James- *snorts*  
  
Cheerleader Barbie  
  
Cheerleader Barbie's accessories  
  
Sirius- Wow, Peter, you're creative!  
  
Peter- *has gone scarlet* Damn fan fics….  
  
My little ponies  
  
My little ponies accessories  
  
Pom Poms  
  
James- (As Peter) Rah! Rah! Rah!  
  
That belly shirt that Lily has  
  
Lily- Which one?  
  
Liposuction  
  
Being able to beat Sirius  
  
Sirius- Like that would ever happen.  
  
A blow-up boyfriend  
  
Remus- Ewww…  
  
Little mermaid diary  
  
New hat for my pooh bear doll plus a raincoat  
  
Being able to kiss Sirius  
  
All- Ewwww!  
  
Peter- Bad mental images!   
  
Making Remus stop looking at me all funny.  
  
Remus- Now why would I have been doing that?  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Peter P. Pettigrew  
  
Peter- My middle name doesn't start with a P.  
  
REMUS'S LIST  
  
Dear Saint Nick,  
  
You know how good I am. Most of these things are for others well being not mine. Thanks.  
  
Make Sirius not kill Peter because he tried to kiss him  
  
Sirius- Oh, thanks for reminding us!  
  
Books so I can reverse spells and keep S/J out of trouble  
  
James and Sirius- Now why would we be in trouble?  
  
Make Snape wash his hair  
  
Remus- I think we all would want that.  
  
Don't give Sirius or James any explosives. I like there being a Hogwarts.  
  
Don't let Peter kiss Sirius or James or Me or anyone.  
  
Sirius- Yes, please.  
  
Yours if your real,  
  
Remus J. Lupin.  
  
JAMES LIST  
  
Dear Santa,  
  
I'm only this for Peter and Sirius is really annoying. So heres my list and if you don't make them come true we'll find you and blow up you're igloo.  
  
Remus- There should be an apostrophe in here's.  
  
Explosives  
  
More explosives  
  
Hogwarts map  
  
Sirius- We already have one…  
  
Hogsmead map  
  
James- Where's Hogsmead?  
  
Lily- I dunno.  
  
More explosives  
  
James- Geez, what do I want to blow up?  
  
Secret escapes from Hogwarts  
  
Peter- We already know those.  
  
A way into the Slytherin dorms  
  
Shampoo for Snape  
  
Deodorant for Malfoy  
  
More explosives  
  
A brain for Peter. Poor kid. One he can understand.  
  
Peter- Oh, I'm hurt.  
  
Make Lily Evans like me.  
  
Lily- But I already like you! *kisses James's cheek*  
  
Remember, do it or no more igloo!  
  
James C. Potter  
  
James- Who was aware my middle name started with a C?  
  
SIRIUS'S LIST  
  
Dear Evil Elf Worker,  
  
Is it true you use under-aged elfs! YOU'RE A BAD, BAD MAN! So, either you give me this stuff or I'll go to the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and every other paper in the World. Mwuhwahwahwahwa!  
  
Remus- Should be elves.  
  
Sirius- Stop that!  
  
Explosives  
  
More explosives  
  
Give James a date with Lily Evans  
  
Lily- But I already date James!  
  
James- Strange fan fic authors.  
  
Give Remus more books, he deserves them  
  
Have the Reindeer eat Snape & Malfoy  
  
Give Snape shampoo before he dies  
  
Give Malfoy deodorant before he dies  
  
Give Peter a girlfriend and make him stop flirting with us  
  
Everyone but Peter- Yeah, stop flirting with us Peter!  
  
Peter- Shut up. -_-;  
  
Explosives  
  
Sirius- Looks like I want to blow everyone to oblivion too.  
  
Lily- Look! Sirius used a big word!  
  
Sirius- James?  
  
James- Yes?  
  
Sirius- I hate your girlfriend.  
  
James- Thank you. *smiles*  
  
A Hogwarts toilet seat  
  
Remus- Don't we already have one of those?  
  
Peter- Yep.  
  
Oh, and besides ruining your reputation I'll help James blow up your igloo!  
  
Sirius L. Black  
  
Sirius- I didn't know my middle name started with an L.  
  
James- Me neither.  
  
Lily- Well, that was odd. Who agrees with me?  
  
Everyone raises their hand.  
  
Lily- That's what I thought.  
  
Sirius- I'm hungry. Let's go get some snacks.  
  
James- Okay!  
  
Everyone heads down to the kitchen.  
  
Please review and tell me if you want me to keep doing this! I have plenty of time, just need to know if you like it! 


	2. Kareoke Night

Second chapter. I don't own anybody, but I'm going on a date with Remus Friday! ^_^  
  
  
  
After filling themselves with sweets of all sorts (except for Remus and Lily, who insisted on something a bit healthier), they all sat around on James's bed, digesting.  
  
"Ready for another fan fic?" Sirius asked, pointing towards the computer.  
  
"Sure. I want to choose." Lily said with a smile, went over to the computer, and immediately found one. She muttered some words and they all watched as the title and author appeared on the chocolate-smeared wall.  
  
Kareoke Night  
  
By Nari-chan  
  
Remus- *twitches* Karaoke…not Kareoke…  
  
James- Oh no…it's gotten him started again…  
  
"Settle students, it is almost time to begin!" Headmaster Dumbledore yelled, trying to get the attention of the students, and was, for once, failing miserably. Sirius Black, noticing his distress, decided to help him out.  
  
Sirius- And when have I EVER done that?  
  
Lily- What? Helped someone out? When was the last time? Never?  
  
*Sirius mutters something about Snapdragons and PMS*  
  
"SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTHS! THE HEADMASTERS WANTS OUR ATTENTION YOU BIG OAFS!"  
  
James- Well, Sirius, that was unexpected.  
  
Sirius- Cool.  
  
This resulted in everyone stopping, looking at Sirius, then sitting.  
  
"Er, um, thank you Mr. Black, 10 points to Gryffindor!" Dumbledore began.  
  
Peter- I wish getting points were that easy…  
  
"Now, onto buisness. As you all know, tonight is kareoke night. All of the participants should have signed up already, remmber you can be entered THREE tiems at the most, once in a solo, and then twice in a group."  
  
Remus- *twitching again* Buisness….karaoke…remember…times…  
  
*Everyone roll their eyes*  
  
Studnets nodded and began to fidget, they all knew this was going to be fun.  
  
Remus- Students, and there shouldn't be a comma after fidget.  
  
Sirius- Remus?  
  
Remus- Yes?  
  
Sirius- I shall congratulate you when you become a teacher.  
  
Remus- Why, thank you. *grins*  
  
"Sir, when are we going to start?" James Potter asked, on behalf of all Gryffindors.  
  
"In a moment, first off, to begin, Mr. Filch and Peeves will sing a duet."  
  
Sirius- But wouldn't that mean they were starting then?  
  
James- Not in the fan-fic world. *smiles*  
  
Gasp filled the air, followed by snickers.  
  
Remus- Gasp should be plural.  
  
*James throws a pillow at him*  
  
Remus- Sorry! It comes from habit!  
  
"I present to you, Peeves to Poltergiest, and Mr. Filch, singing 'You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch'" Dumbledore said sittign, and motioning to the stage that had been set up.  
  
Lily- Poltergeist is spelled wrong, and so is sitting.  
  
Peter- Oh no! Not you, too  
  
(A/N: I am only doing the chorus, because I forgot the whole thing, this is also the Japanese version, as is that is my native launguage ^_^)  
  
Sirius- What is an A/N?  
  
James- I don't know. An Anonymous Notice?  
  
Peter- Maybe.  
  
Peeves: You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!  
  
James- What's a Grinch?  
  
Lily, Remus, and Peter- Muggle reference.  
  
James- Oh. Okay. *still completely lost*  
  
  
  
/Filch glares at Peeves/  
  
Peeves: You're as smelly as a rat!  
  
Peeves: You're as slimy as an eel  
  
/Filch gets angry/  
  
The Gryffindor and Slytherin table were rolling with laughter, while Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were trying, in vain to hide their snickers. All of this stopped however, when Peeves continued.  
  
Sirius- Why would anyone try in vain not to laugh?  
  
James- Hey, in the fiction world, anything can happen.  
  
Peeves: Why, I wouldn't poke you with a nine-and-a-half foot pole!  
  
Peter- What about a ten-foot one?  
  
/Curtains open to see a chorus of ghost behind Peeves, singing/  
  
Chorus: A nine-and-a-half foot pole!  
  
Chorus: A nine-and-a-half foot pole!  
  
Peter- They're arguing with me! *eyes get wide*  
  
Peeves: You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!  
  
Chorus: So Mean! So Mean!  
  
Peeves: You're as smelly as a rat!  
  
Chorus: A Rat! A Rat!  
  
Lily- Is it just me, or is this rather repetitious?  
  
Peeves: You're as slimy as an eel  
  
Chorus: Slimy Eel! Slimy Eel!  
  
Filch: STOP THIS INSANITY!  
  
Peeves: Why, I wouldn't poke you with a nine-and-a-half foot pole!  
  
Filch ran off the stage and out of the main hall, while students were in the middle of a laughing fit. Peeves was bowing, as was the Ghost Chorus.  
  
Dumbledore once again striving to get the students attention, turned to Sirius, whom cleared his throat, and procedded to yell….  
  
Peter- (as Sirius) I'm GAY!  
  
*Sirius tackles him and begins to maul him with pillows*  
  
Remus- Proceeded is misspelled.  
  
Lily- Get her a spell checker. Please.  
  
"QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Silence filled the hall, and Dumbledore smiled.  
  
Lily- (As Dumbledore) Quiet…my favorite sound!  
  
Remus- (As a Random Student) But, Professor! You can't hear quiet!  
  
Lily-(As Dumbledore) Shut up. Of course you can.  
  
"Thanks you Peeves an dcompany, and now, onto the show!"  
  
Everyone, Teachers, ghost, and students looked excitied.  
  
Remus- How do you get excitied?  
  
*Sirius shrugs and goes back to mauling Peter with pillows*  
  
"May I present our first act…"  
  
Everyone held their breath.  
  
James- For too long. And Died. The End.  
  
Sirius- I like this fan fic.  
  
"Severeus Snape."  
  
All- Severeus? Who?  
  
James- I guess they mean Severus.  
  
Sirius- *snorts* That slimy git? Sing my arse.  
  
James- Looks like it's over. Who chooses next?  
  
Peter- I want to!  
  
*Peter gets up, and in a mad dash, stumbled over to the computer, points to some blue words, mutters a spell, and they all wait for the words to appear* 


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Parody