Harry Potter 1. Here With Me

Title: Here With Me Summary: Lily notices that James has changed and realizes she loves him, though she won't admit it. Will they get together? Read and find out.  
  
It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror  
  
I guess that I was blind  
  
Now my reflection's getting clearer  
  
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again  
  
Lily sat on her bed absently playing with her hair. A large mirror sat across from her. Her green eyes were staring into those of her reflection, but she found was confusion. Recently James Potter, a formerly annoying admirer, had sopped asking for her affections. In fact he hardly seemed to notice her at all. For years she had dreamed of this and now she was dreaming of the way it used to be. A single tear slipped down her cheek and she did not bother to wipe it away.  
  
There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day  
  
You're such a part of me  
  
But I just pulled away  
  
Well, I'm not the same girl  
  
you used to know  
  
I wish I said the words I never showed  
  
She couldn't understand why he occupied her thoughts this way. She was avoiding the only possible answer with all of her might. Soon she was up and wandering the numerous halls of the castle. Inside of her was a hidden hope to bump into him. Each laugh around the corner belonged to him. Each shadow was his image. The school was large and with every step more hope of finding him was lost. It seemed that he would never appear. Her stepped grew shorter and slower.  
  
I know you had to go away  
  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
  
You're the one I need  
  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
  
Just to have you back now  
  
Here with me  
  
Here with me  
  
She thought of the first time she had noticed his change. She had been sitting by the lake and James had come walking out of the castle. He had spotted her and jogged over. "Hey," he had said breathlessly. Lily only nodded half-heartedly, she was sure that her peace would soon be interrupted with his constant attempts to woo her. She had prepared to jump up the moment it started, but it never came. He just sat with her staring into the water. Some thing about the way he looked at her had changed that day.  
  
You know that silence is loud When all you hear is your heart  
  
And I wanted so badly Just to be a part Of something strong and true  
  
But I was scared And left it all behind  
  
The quiet of the corridor was getting to her. She wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to hear the way he used to call her name. Even if it did mean going back to the irritation of his obsession with her she couldn't think of anything better. A deep voice laughed somewhere up ahead and suddenly he was there, joking with his friends. He came closer and closer as Lily watched him. He smiled at her when he passed and Lily was once again disappointed. "James." His name echoed in the space. He turned and looked at her curiously. She wished desperately that his eyes would recover their old warmth. "Umm...hi," was her genius reply. He chuckled and continued on his way. Lily was left wanting to cry.  
  
I know you had to go away  
  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
  
You're the one I need  
  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
  
Just to have you back now  
  
Here with me  
  
Here with me  
  
She blinked back tears and took the long way to the common room. The paintings that hung around her whispered as she moped by. She was used to the whispers though. Her fellow students had been spreading rumors about her sorrowful state. She was under a hex, her family had been hurt, she had gotten a bad grade. None even came close to the answer that was so obvious to Lily.  
  
And I'm asking  
  
And I'm wanting you to come back to me  
  
Please?  
  
I never will forget that look upon  
  
your face  
  
How you turned away and left  
  
without a trace  
  
But I understand that you did what you had to do  
  
And I thank you  
  
By the time she was back in the common room she had decided she needed to do something about it. Talk to him, anything. Solutions ran through her head as she entered the warm empty room. The fireplace was going, but she was nearly shivering. A door above her opened and James came walking down the boy's stairs. She walked up to him, standing in his path. He stopped in front of her and she stepped closer. His hazel eyes were blank. She had never noticed how deep they were before, but she had never really taken the time to notice anything about him. Their bodies moved closer with every step Lily took. They were almost touching when she halted. She hardly knew what she was doing as she pulled his lips down to her's.  
  
I know you had to go away  
  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
  
You're the one I need  
  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
  
Just to have you back now  
  
Here with me  
  
Here with me  
  
When she pulled away and looked back into his eyes they looked sad, lonely, and resistant. She couldn't make out what might be flowing through his mind. She had thought this had been his wish for years. Them together. Not fighting. He strode out wordlessly and she knew she must have been mistaken. He didn't look back at her as he climbed out of the portrait. It felt to her as if he was leaving forever. 


	2. You'll Think of Me

Chapter Two: You'll think of me  
  
I woke up early this morning around 4am  
  
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate  
  
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep  
  
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake  
  
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms  
  
I've been tryin' my best to get along  
  
But that's OK  
  
There's nothing left to say, but  
  
James Potter lay on the stone floor with his eyes closed. He wasn't sure where he was; all he knew was that it wasn't where he was supposed to be. His eyes fluttered open and he remembered why exactly he wasn't in his familiar bed. He was in an empty and cold hallway. Lily. His flower, his dream. He had finally realized that nothing was there. He was trying to get over her and it hurt. It hurt every time he saw her. Her eyes full of hope enough for the world. Her face like a star to guide him. When he had seen her with another guy she had burnt out for him. He knew it was only his fault that she wasn't with him, but he hadn't imagined she would be with anyone else. There had always been the thought that she would always be there. Something reachable, but now the assurance was gone and she had stepped a little out of reach.  
  
Take your records, take your freedom  
  
Take your memories I don't need'em  
  
Take your space and take your reasons  
  
But you'll think of me  
  
And take your cat and leave my sweater  
  
'Cause we have nothing left to weather  
  
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better  
  
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me  
  
He lay there on the floor silently and still. No real use in moving because no matter how far he went her never quite arrived. After he had figured out Lily really didn't like him he started a process of ignoring her. He gave up on her. Everything he had from her had to be cleared away. He knew it would take a while. Over the years he had collected so many memories, dreams, and images of her. But none-the-less he knew it was time. Lily noticed. He knew it. She had started looking at him differently. Something he would never let himself think was longing sat behind her eyes. She was different. But that was all well because he was different too. He spoke nothing to her for days at a time and now she chose to think of him.  
  
I went out driving trying to clear my head  
  
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left  
  
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this  
  
And all the baggage that seems to still exist  
  
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name  
  
Is not knowing what we could have been  
  
What we should have been  
  
He had gone out flying for hours last night. He went in circles over the forbidden forest and let his feet drag the treetops, not caring who saw. What did reputation matter when his purpose was gone? It seemed to him that Lily was the only thing that made him. What he was know for. He was fed up with being all about one person and them not having a clue. He had given up. And after last night. Lily had kissed him. His dream for so long was suddenly broken and he couldn't enjoy it. He had walked away. This is where he had ended up. Lying on the floor of a forgotten hallway. This is where the road had lead. He knew he had taken a wrong turn some where along the way, but to get back he would have needed directions.  
  
Take your records, take your freedom  
  
Take your memories I don't need'em  
  
Take your space and take your reasons  
  
But you'll think of me  
  
And take your cat and leave my sweater  
  
'Cause we have nothing left to weather  
  
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better  
  
But you'll think of me  
  
He had to walk away last night. He was almost there. The glimmer of hope at the end of a long day. He had made a stride. Losing his dependence on Lily. Every part of him and his life had been planned for Lily. When he walked he walked the path she did just for a chance to see her. He had stopped doing that. He had been taking his own way and just being whom he wanted with no limitations. And then Lily had come to him, as she hadn't before. His chain of glass recovery had been shattered. All but one link. He still had his memory. The times she had hurt him before still remained and he remember them. He walked away this time. He left her in the common room with only her thoughts. Now he was lying in a hallway with his own.  
  
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind  
  
Don't worry, I'll be fine  
  
I'm gonna be alright  
  
While you're sleeping with your pride  
  
Wishing I could hold you tight  
  
I'll be over you  
  
And on with my life  
  
He sat up and leaned against the wall with his elbows on his knees. His hands raked through his hair as he thought about her again. He remembered a time when she had fallen asleep in the common room. He had taken her book from her chest and placed his sweater over her. It was a cold night and he could see that she was shivering. She still had that sweater somewhere. He knew that some day she would find it and remember him. Maybe she would figure that he wasn't so bad after all. That he only moved for her and every decision was intended to please her. He knew he had messed up, but he knew he didn't deserve to be ignored and walked on because of it.  
  
So take your records, take your freedom  
  
Take your memories I don't need'em  
  
And take your cat and leave my sweater  
  
'Cause we have nothing left to weather  
  
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better  
  
But you'll think of me  
  
He hoped and tried to assure himself that this was the right choice. If he walked away before it started nothing could get worse. Lily would move on too. He would think of her always, but now he knew she would be thinking of him as well. She would think of him. The thought gave him determination. It also struck him with a sorrow that he chose to ignore. He wouldn't go back. Once he did there would be nothing to go back for. He forced himself to believe that it was all illusion and he was starting to succeed. He just kept telling himself having her wasn't possible.  
  
So take your records, take your freedom  
  
Take your memories I don't need'em  
  
Take your space and all your reasons  
  
But you'll think of me  
  
And take your cat and leave my sweater  
  
'Cause we got nothing left to weather  
  
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better  
  
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah  
  
He rose to his feet on tender legs. So long of flying had made him sore and sleeping on the floor didn't help. He looked around and discovered he was only a short distant from the common room. He couldn't remember why he had stopped when he was almost there in the first place. His steps were wobbly, but he kept going. He couldn't let anyone see him lying idly in the hallway. Surely they would know the reason. Every time he had ever been sad had been from Lily. She was the only one who didn't realize. Now he wouldn't be sad again. He couldn't. After what seemed like years he reached to portrait and climbed in. As soon as he had pulled his last leg in he felt even more strained. He remembered why he had been on the floor in the hallway as he fell helpless and unconscious to the ground.  
  
And you're gonna think of me  
  
Oh someday baby, someday  
  
Lily was across the room and heard a loud and dull thud. Her head turned quickly away from her friends. The friends that disapproved of James just as much as she did. They didn't know what had happened last night. Lily hardly knew herself. She saw James, lying on the floor, and desperately she had to know why and if he was okay. She rushed over to his side and kneeled next to him. She checked his pulse. Still alive. She felt his breathing. A little slow. A pale tear slipped down her cheek and landed on his. His eyes blinked open and saw a blurry Lily above him, but they only closed again. 


	3. I'll Take Care of You

Chpt title: I'll Take Care of You.  
  
A/N: Sorry for typos and errors. I don't mean to trouble you with them.  
  
Times Are Hard And Rents Are High  
  
What Can A Working Girl Do  
  
But Struggle Through Another Day  
  
Then I'll Take Care Of You  
  
James was in the hosipital wing for three days. Beside his sat a worry strichened Lily. Her once well groomed flame bush hair was now forgotten and stingy. Her eyes were swollen with redden patchs around them. She had been working here by his bedside for two days straight. She hadn't attended a single class. One of her friends had been bringing her homework. Now a pile of book lay on the floor next to a stack of unfinished homework. Suddenly Lily had become his. After so long of resisting it was over.  
  
Nights Are Long And Dreams Are Cold  
  
If They're All You Wake Up To  
  
But Should You Rise With Crying Eyes  
  
I'll Take Care Of You  
  
She had fallen asleep once during her stay. It was a feverish and unhealthy sleep. Her eyes kept fluttering open and closed and she fidgitted constantly. Her dreams were haunted with images of kissing James. But this time he was in a coffin. The nurse had assured her over and over that he would awaken, but she hadn't listened. What if he didn't wake up and she never got to show him how she really felt? She need him now and there was no turning back.  
  
So Let Them Talk About Us  
  
Let Them Call Us Funny Things  
  
People Sometimes Do  
  
I Don't Care As Long  
  
As You Know I Love You  
  
Oh, And You Know I Do  
  
Lily no longer cared about her reputation. In the face of everything during the last few days she had lost her worries over school and friends and head girl duties. None of it seemed to matter in light of the new events. To others things migh have seemed simple. A kiss unreturned. Then a temporary illness. What was the big deal? To Lily that was the bid deal. The kiss she had given and not recieved. The near loss of her new found interest. Being James, as it was.  
  
I'll Be There, But You Might Not See Me  
  
It's Never Easy To Get Through  
  
But When The Laughter Dies Away  
  
I'll Take Care Of You  
  
She looked down at him. His eyes closed. Sleep was usually so peaceful. But this was not ordinary. His lids were clamped tighly, causing wrinkles about his eyes. His lips were pursed so thin they were hardly visible. Worst of all was his ashen skin. It was a haunting gray tint. He looked ghostly. But she still sat there, holding onto his hand as if when she released it he would be lost. This once happy, joking young man was now still and pallid, laying in a lonely hospital bed. Lily was detremined not to leave him and no one tried to stop her. The look on her face was enough for anyone to know she was serious.  
  
So Let Them Talk About Us  
  
Let Them Call Us Funny Things  
  
People Sometimes Do  
  
I Don't Care As Long  
  
As You Know I Love You  
  
Oh, And You Know I Do  
  
People had started to whisper. Now with another topic about Lily the school was buzzing. Some were saying that she had done it to him and now was guilty. Maybe it was true. But they meant by way of curses and violence. In the past she would have been horrified to hear this about herself, but now it mattered little. On her only trip out of the wing, she was retrieving clothes, she had been pointed at and taunts of "He wouldn't have you so you tried to murder him!" rung through the hallways. Slytherins were laughing openly at her mourning. But it mattered little. She held her head up high and walked alone so that she could once again be at his side. To be together with James, the only one who did matter.  
  
I'll Be There, But You Might Not See Me  
  
It's Never Easy To Get Through  
  
But When The Laughter Dies Away  
  
Then I'll Take Care Of You  
  
In his sleep James suddenly cried her name. Gaspingly, torturedly. The single syllable disturbed her. It made her heart leap. He was thinking of her. "I'm here. I'll always be here," she had whispered in a cracked voice. She hadn't spoken since she had taken him here. And she meant to keep true to what she said. "I'm Promise." It was her vow. The rest of her life she would take care of him. When he could prank no longer she would be there, hovering over him like a gardian angel. That's what you do when you love someone.  
  
Darling, I'll Take Care Of You  
  
And quite suddenly something clicked in him. His eyelids lifting, revealing bright spots of hazel. They were full of life and contrasted against his waxen skin. Even with the bags under them Lily thought they were beautiful and she flung herself down over him, arms finding their way around his neck. For a moment he seemed to be startled, but she was relieved to feel his hands snake around her back. In this moment they knew they would make it and they would be together, but James let go. "Really?" he asked. Her speech had pulled him from his unconcious state. Her promise of devotion. Her eyes stared into his and she nodded. That was it. He could accept her once again, just as she had finally accepted him. 


End file.

Harry Potter, Romance