Janet Evanovich 1. Chapter 1

****Author's notes…So I started this as a one shot for Morelli's birthday. It was originally going to be a fluffy Cupcake story, but it had morphed into something else as I wrote it. Something NOT Cupcake friendly at all. Anyway, it's now going to be a three chapter story, I figured everyone needed a little birthday surprise of their own. Updates to be made on Ranger and Stephanie's birthdays. Thanks. **

**No spoilers for the books, warnings for dirty language and actions, and disclaimer that all this belongs to JE. Hope you enjoy.****

March 1st—Joe Morelli's birthday

Joe Morelli shoved his big, furry dog back into the house when he saw Big Dog's SUV turn the corner. Costanza was riding shotgun and had a huge smile on his face when they pulled to a stop in front of his row house. Joe climbed into the backseat with Gazzara and they were off.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this. If Shirley finds out I'll never hear the end of it," Eddie told him.

Joe couldn't believe he agreed to this either. "Same here, Steph would have my nuts in a vise."

"Stop complaining back there. How the hell will the women find out? It's not like they go to places like this," Big Dog bitched at them.

"Yeah, man, you only turn forty once," Costanza agreed. "I think it needs to be done in style."

"Style?" Gazzara asked. "That's one word I wouldn't use for this place."

"Come on, it's real classy compared to the other joints around," Costanza assured them. "It's so nice Steph was in there once. I had to pull my hat over my face so she wouldn't recognize me."

Joe laughed, "Why would Steph be in a strip club?"

"I don't know. Looked like her and Manoso were watching the show," he said with a little laugh.

Joe sighed, he knew Steph wouldn't enjoy a show at a strip club. He figured she must have been working on something if she was there with Manoso. The other man was a pain in his ass and wanted to sleep with Steph sure, but he didn't see him just bringing her to a strip club to hang out. Even he had to admit Manoso had more class than that.

"Maybe we should have brought her along. Maybe she could learn a few things from the dancers," Big Dog laughed.

"She doesn't need to learn anything," Joe mumbled. "Why did I even agree to this? I could be home eating cake with her right now."

"I don't know. I would have stayed home if I were you," Gazzara said. "Steph eating cake is hot. All that moaning and licking of the frosting. That's better than porn."

Joe punched him in the shoulder. "Stop thinking about her."

When they pulled into the lot Joe could hear the music pounding through the walls. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He was entirely too old to be doing this shit. He wished Steph was there, she'd have ibuprofen in her purse. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

The guys paid their cover charge and walked into the dimly lit room. Almost immediately one of the girls was on them. She was a skinny, red head with giant fake breasts and not much of an ass. Not really Joe's type, but Carl seemed thrilled with the attention. "Hey Carl," she purred at him. "I have your table reserved."

"Thanks, Kiki, you're the best," he told her with a little smile. "You'll remember to take good care of my man here. It's his birthday tonight."

Joe felt the stripper's eyes move over his body before she slipped an arm around him. "Come on, Birthday Boy," she whispered in his ear.

He allowed her to pull him to a table dead center in front of the stage. He was given the middle seat, directly in front of the pole. He figured it must have been the best seat in the house, especially after Carl slipped the girl some bills.

Another girl came to take their drink orders. The first round was on Big Dog so Joe ordered a Johnny Walker Blue neat. It was a forty dollar glass of booze, but he figured these idiots deserved to pay out after talking him into this shit.

After nearly an hour, watching girls come and go from the stage Joe was ready to leave. He didn't know when random boobs and young pretty faces stopped doing it for him, but there he was feeling all his forty years while he watched girls young enough to be his daughter take their clothes off. He wondered if this was the low point in his life. How did it get any worse than this?

"I just wanted to take a minute and wish a very special birthday to a very sexy man." Joe rolled his eyes as he looked up at the stage to see which one of the girls was speaking into the microphone. This one didn't look like the others. This one was tall and curvy with long, brown hair that fell to her waist in soft waves. She was wearing a lacy black bra with matching thongs and garter belt that held up black thigh highs. Her legs were amazing. His eyes followed them from the edge of her lacy panties down to her four inch black high heels. He felt his dick twitch. Fuck.

The woman bent and looked him in the face. She had the most startling blue eyes and perfect porcelain skin. She bent her finger and motioned for him to come to her. Christ, he couldn't go up on that stage. Everyone would see his hardon. He shook his head no. He couldn't do it.

"Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe," Carl started chanting until the entire bar was yelling along with him. Crap.

He stood and waved his hands to his fellow patrons and headed for the stairs to the right of their table. He stepped onto the stage next to the woman. She turned into his body and wrapped a leg around his waist. It wasn't difficult, with those heels on they were the same height. "Hey, baby," she whispered to him. "Relax, we're just going to have some fun." He nodded to her.

"So Joe, are you married?" she asked into the microphone. He shook his head no. "Why not? A sexy man like you must have someone special." He just smiled at her as she rubbed her hand up and down his chest suggestively. "Would you like me to be your someone special?" she purred into his ear. God help him, but he did. He nodded back to her.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. He should have told her that he had someone special at home. Probably in his bed right now. Waiting for him to come home. But all he could think about was this exquisite creature wrapped around his body.

"Good boy," she told him as she pulled a chair to the center of the stage. "Sit." He obeyed better than his dog ever did at the same command. "Do you know the rules, Joe?" He shook his head no. She smiled and pulled out some furry handcuffs. She looped them through a rung in the back of the chair, then pulled his hands behind his back and cuffed him there. He didn't like not being in control. He never let Steph have power like this, but this was getting him hot. This woman was confident and sexy as hell. He wouldn't mind being tied down to her bed.

"You can't touch, but that won't be a problem anymore," she said with a laugh. "I, however, can do anything I want to you." He swallowed hard and licked his lips as she moved toward him until she was standing between his spread knees. "Do you want me to take my bra off?"

He heard the guys start chanting, "Take it off. Take it off." Christ, he had almost forgotten that they had an audience he wanted her so badly. He shook his head yes and tried to remember it was all a game.

Her bra clasped in the front and with one hand she flipped it open. Her other hand moved over her stomach up to her half bare breast. Joe's eyes were firmly focused on her tits, they were amazing. Her perfect, pink tipped breasts spilled out as she pushed the material aside and let it drop off her shoulders onto the floor.

She moved in then until his face was pressed between her breasts. She shook them back and forth so they slapped his cheeks. Christ, he just wanted to grab two handfuls of her ass and pull her in so he could motorboat her properly. "Do you like my tits, Joe?" she asked. "Would you like a taste?"

The crowd screamed as she twisted and placed her nipple to his lips. He wasn't going to refuse that offer. He sucked it in and nibbled on the hardened peak. She made some little moaning noises as her fingers clawed at his hair. "You have a wicked mouth," she sighed. "What else can you do with that mouth?" There was more hooting and howling from the crowd. She just laughed and turned to the crowd. "Should we dance?"

"Dance. Dance. Dance," the crowd cheered loudly. The lighting changed and the music started. It was something slow with a deep base drop.

She stood facing the crowd grinding her hips to the beat while her hands moved over her perfect body. Joe watched from behind and wasn't disappointed with the view. She may have had the best ass he'd ever seen. Then she grasped the sides of her panties and bent from the waist as she pulled them off, revealing a whole lot more than ass to him.

God, he was so hard it was starting to hurt. She turned back to him then before she started to stalk toward him. She crawled onto his lap, straddling his thighs until her body was pressed firmly to his. He could feel the damp, heat of her sex through his pants as she ground against his hard cock. Fuck, he was going to cum in his pants if he wasn't careful. He'd never felt anything like this before. There was something happening between them, he could tell. This was more than a show.

She found a rhythm, moving her clit against him until she was moaning and panting. Her lips found his neck, sucking the skin into her mouth as she continued to dry hump him. He pulled at the fucking cuffs, he wanted to touch her. He wanted to put his lips on her. He wanted to taste her. God, he wanted her bad.

Then she suddenly shuddered and screamed his name as she came against him. Holy shit. Then she kissed him, deep and hard. His tongue joined hers, dueling for control of the kiss. Her hands moved between them stroking his cock. Good God. He was just about to cum when she stood and turned her back to him. "Sorry, Joe, I can't give you a happy ending for your birthday," she laughed. "That's illegal here." The crowd loved that, they were cheering and clapping.

Joe's eyes were still focused on her damp thighs, she really had gotten off on him. He looked down at his lap and saw the wet spot on the front of his jeans. He knew that wasn't his work, he was still hard and it looked like he'd be going home blue balled.

The girl moved behind him and unhooked his arms from the cuffs. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, "I have a black Trans Am in the parking lot if you want to finish this."

"I'm a cop," he whispered back.

"I wasn't going to charge, detective," she laughed back.

He stood and adjusted his hardon to the laughter of the crowd. He bowed and shook his head before heading back to the table. "Shit, that was hot," Costanza said holding up a hand to high five him.

"Did you guys pay for that?" Joe asked as he high fived the three other men.

"Not me," Gazzara laughed. "Steph would kill me."

"Me either," Big Dog told him. "You broke me with that fuckin shot you ordered."

"Hey, I never even seen anything like that before. I was just gonna get you a lap dance," Costanza agreed with the others.

Joe's eyes moved around the room, looking for the stripper. He had a few questions for her. As his eyes moved around the room he caught the familiar glare of his girlfriend. She stood on the other side of the room with her hands on her hips. "Oh fuck," he muttered.

As she slowly walked toward him he felt his boner shrivel, she was going to kill him. She smiled at the guys before looking back at Joe. "Happy Birthday, Morelli," she said in a cold voice. "Wash the stripper juice off yourself before you come over to apologize." Joe swallowed hard. He expected worse than that. "And I'm eating your cake."

With that she turned and left the bar with Lula on her heels. "Holy shit," Costanza laughed. "She didn't take that too badly."

Joe shivered. He knew if she was that calm and icy things were worse than the guys could imagine. Calm was ten times worse than screaming when it came to Steph. His hopes of fucking the stripper's image away with Steph disappeared. He was looking at a long dry spell. Some birthday this turned out to be, now he wasn't even going to have cake…unless.

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Christine, stage name China, walked off the stage and headed toward the dressing room. She wasn't sure why the man in black had paid her so well to give that cop a show. The guy was hot. He didn't need a stripper dry humping him to get him off. Women would probably pay him for sex. She herself wasn't joking when she offered to meet him outside. It wasn't often that she got turned on by a customer, much less actually got off on playing with one.

She looked at the thousand dollars of cash and grinned. She'd get herself off on a hot guy for money any day. That was nothing but a win-win situation.

She changed into her mini skirt and tee shirt and headed outside. She was surprised to find the detective leaning against the side of her car, but she was most certainly not disappointed.

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Stephanie had gone down to the damn strip club to pick up the bouncer who skip out on his bail. She and her partner Lula paid admission and stood toward the back of the room. It wasn't long before she saw Morelli and his friends near the stage.

"Asshole," she muttered to Lula.

Lula's eyes narrowed as she saw him. "I thought he had to work?"

"That's what he told me."

A few minutes later a really pretty brunette invited him on stage. She stood there for twenty minutes watching her boyfriend get felt up and rubbed on by some naked stripper. He sucked her nipples and kissed her, with tongue, and she was pretty sure the skank came all over him.

God, didn't he know what kind of women these were? She probably had herpes or something and there he was, ready to fuck her, in front of a crowd of strangers. She felt like she was going to barf.

"Let's get out of here," Lula told her.

"No," she growled. "I have to wish Joe a happy birthday first."

She glared at him until his eyes were drawn to her. She could see the "oh fuck" look on his face from across the room. She stomped over to him and glared him down. He looked scared. He should be scared, she thought as she took a breath to control her rage.

She smiled at the guys, it was her warning to them that they were in trouble too. She'd tell their wives about this. "Happy Birthday, Morelli," she said. He looked visibly paler, he really was scared. Good. "Wash the stripper juice off yourself before you come over to apologize."

He didn't respond, he just sat there looking like a naughty child that got caught red handed. She wanted to yell and scream and hit him in the face, but he wasn't going to get the satisfaction of seeing her anger. She was sick of his shit. This was it. It was over for good. She knew she had to escape before she said something that she'd regret, so she turned to leave. "And I'm eating your cake," she added as an afterthought. He didn't deserve cake, stripper fucking prick.

She stomped off to the front door with Lula on her heels. She followed Lula to her car and let out a loud growl. "You sure you don't want to kick his ass?" Lula asked. "You look like you need to let off a little steam."

"No, I can't see anymore of him tonight, especially when he's covered in her gunk." Lula just nodded her understanding. "I'll just eat the cake and figure out how to get even, or something."

Lula laughed at that. "I know how you can get even and blow off a little steam."

"Don't even say it," Steph groaned. "I don't need anyone else knowing about my humiliation, especially him."

"Babe." How did the man do that as if on cue? It was just like thinking one indecent thought about him made him appear.

"What are you doing here?"

"Entertaining a potential client," he said with a smile. "You?"

"Bouncer went FTA." He looked back over at his guys standing by the SUV. "You want them to drag him out for you?"

"Sure," she shrugged. She didn't really want to come back here, ever. He did a little wave of his hand and his men went back into the bar and dragged him out, cuffed. "So…" she asked. He lifted an eyebrow at her as he waited for her to continue. "So you feel like coming over for some cake?"

He smiled at her then. "You know I don't eat cake."

"I'm sure I could find something that'd interest you," she responded. She wasn't sure where that had come from. She wasn't usually so suggestive with him, but it seemed she was in the mood to play with fire tonight.

He slipped an arm around her and headed over to his Porsche. Steph smiled to herself as she leaned back in the seat. She definitely knew how to get even.

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Ranger slipped through the backdoor after he watched China's on stage performance. Fucking Morelli was such a chump. He couldn't believe he went as far as he did on that stage. Joe had gotten a lot more physical than he imagined. Shit, he looked like he was going to jizz in his pants right there a few times.

His only intention had been to humiliate him and get him into a little trouble. He didn't mean for Stephanie to see all that she did. He hoped it wouldn't hurt her. He really didn't want her hurt, even at the expense of her relationship with the other man.

He saw Steph charge out the front door and waited for steam to shoot out of her ears. She looked pissed. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop on her and Lula, but he couldn't help himself. She was like a sickness, he just wanted her so badly.

As soon as he heard her mention getting even he knew he had to make his move. He was an opportunist and a bigger opportunity would never present itself.

"Don't even say it," Steph groaned. "I don't need anyone else knowing about my humiliation, especially him."

He knew they were talking about him and it made him laugh, silently. Of course her first response would be to want to sleep with someone else and he was always happy to be that someone else. "Babe," he said. He could see her tense before she turned around to face him. God, she was beautiful. Her eyes were big and blue, her hair long and curly, her body soft and curvy, everything he could ever want in a lover. She was perfection.

"What are you doing here?" she asked like she couldn't believe he just showed up, again.

"Entertaining a potential client," he said with a smile. She didn't need to know that he came to keep an eye on her. He heard that she was picking up a FTA and that he was dangerous. Seeing Morelli and the other cops had just been a bonus. "You?"

"Bouncer went FTA." He looked back over at his guys standing by the SUV. They already planned to assist in the capture anyway. "You want them to drag him out for you?"

"Sure," she shrugged.

He signaled his men and they did their thing. Minutes later they pulled him out the door.

"So…" she asked. He lifted an eyebrow at her as he waited for her to continue. "So you feel like coming over for some cake?"

He smiled at that and couldn't help but tease her. "You know I don't eat cake."

She surprised the hell out of him when she said, "I'm sure I could find something that'd interest you." He knew exactly what he'd like to eat. He was a pie man and Plum pie happened to be his favorite.

No other words were needed. He slipped an arm around her and head over to his Porsche. He settled her into the seat and smiled to himself. Best thousand bucks he ever spent.


	2. Chapter 2

****Author's notes…So I started this as a one shot for Morelli's birthday. It was originally going to be a fluffy Cupcake story, but it had morphed into something else as I wrote it. Something NOT Cupcake friendly at all. Anyway, it's now going to be a three chapter story, I figured everyone needed a little birthday surprise of their own. **

**Thanks to Margaret for pushing me to explain what happens to all the cops after Steph caught them, what happened to Morelli after he messed up, big time, and most importantly did Ranger and Steph get a HEA? **

**I will update with the last chapter on Steph's birthday in October. So let me know what you think and hope this helped answer some questions. **

**No spoilers for the books, warnings for dirty language and actions (perhaps a hint of smut here), and a disclaimer that all this belongs to JE. Hope you enjoy.****

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Ranger's Birthday Cake

August 12th

Joe Morelli never thought living with someone would be so stressful. But it was. It was driving him nuts. Driving him to eat, a lot. He got out of his SUV and grabbed the waist of his jeans and gave a little jump as he tugged them up under his now protruding gut. He had to start watching what he ate. Tomorrow.

He stared at the front door of the Tasty Pastry and his mouth watered. He really, really needed a dozen doughnuts. Badly. Yes, the diet would wait until tomorrow. With determined steps he made his way to the front door and grabbed the handle just as the door pushed open from the other side. He was suddenly standing face to face with Stephanie Plum, the reason he needed the doughnuts in the first place.

"Plum," he said with a small smile.

"Morelli," she hissed back.

Okay, so she wasn't happy to see him. They weren't exactly friends anymore. Shit. They weren't even speaking anymore. But she had just spoken to him. Hope filled him. "How are you, Cupcake?"

Her eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath. "I'm good. But I'm in a hurry, if you'll excuse me, please?" she asked politely.

Huh? She didn't yell at him, kick him, or smash the cake she was holding into his face. Maybe she really was starting to thaw a little. He smiled and pulled the door open for her, allowing her and her cake to make their way through the entrance. "You need help with that cake?" he asked, giving her his best smoldering smile.

She rolled her eyes. "You had your chance for cake, Morelli. You blew it."

Shit. He knew she was referring to more than just the birthday cake she'd gotten him five months ago. The one he'd never gotten to eat because he was an idiot. He glanced down at the frosted confection, visible through the plastic window in the box. _Happy Birthday, Carlos. _Oh, fuck, no. "I thought you weren't speaking to him either."

She shrugged. "I wasn't." That was it, no explanation or anything? He opened his mouth, trying to decide how to ask about the cake, but she shut him up. "Goodbye, Morelli."

He watched her walk away. God did she look good going. He had no idea what he had been thinking the night of his birthday. He guessed the saying was true, you really didn't know what you had until it was gone. Losing Stephanie was the worst thing he'd ever had to go through. And he'd gone through a lot since she left him.

He knew she was pissed about seeing him on stage with the stripper that night, but he didn't chase after her or try to explain himself that night like he should have. Nope. He'd been wrapped up in the moment. It was something new and exciting and so damn hot, he wanted it. He hadn't been with anyone but Steph in years. At the time it hadn't bothered him, but after that encounter on stage he got to thinking. All about how the excitement and spontaneity that they'd had early on in their relationship had diminished over the years.

It wasn't as if they didn't have sex. It was just that it wasn't anything special. They slept in the same bed every night and he knew if she wanted sex or not by whether or not she wore her panties to bed. More nights than not she didn't wear them. So why had he been so ready to go home with that other woman?

He sighed to himself. It was because he hadn't felt that turned on in a long time. Stephanie was sexy and beautiful, but somewhere between him sharing a bathroom with her tampons and her washing his dirty underwear, all the magic had disappeared. Hell, he'd gotten to the point that he used a vibrator to get her off so he wouldn't have to put much time into it. There was just no connection between them anymore. It was just a way to get himself off.

He had wanted to explore the sexy, exciting feelings he had for Christine, not go home and fight with Stephanie. So he did. He went outside and waited by her car and brought her back to his house, to the bed he normally shared with Stephanie, and he fucked her, repeatedly.

All the old Morelli magic was back and he was in cloud nine. Everything outside that room left his mind. His only concern was making that woman come as many times as he could. By the time the sun was rising they were just collapsing into a heap to sleep. His bed was totally ruined by sopping puddles he'd caused her to make and he didn't give a shit if he had to lay in it. He was Joe Morelli again.

That feeling was short lived. Two hours later Steph came over to talk to him and found him in bed, naked, with the other woman riding his cock. For the second time that day she looked at him with icy anger and walked away without a fight.

No, the fight came two weeks later. He tried to talk to her, explain himself, every day between the morning she walked out and the morning he caught her going to church with her family. Yes. Church! Even he couldn't believe it, but he did what he had to. He got dressed up and took his Mom and Grandma to church with him. He figured that she couldn't ignore him in church.

What he found when he got there was Stephanie, not just sitting with her mother and grandmother like he expected, but she was with the wives. All three of them! Her cousin Shirley Gazzara was between Big Dog's wife Becky and Costanza's wife Toni. He was about to approach when Gazzara grabbed his arm. "For God's sake don't make eye contact."

He didn't know what the hell was going on. "What?"

He was pulled into the pew with the other guys, who looked like shit. "Stephanie told them everything. Shirley isn't talking to me. Carl's sleeping in his car and Big Dog's in the basement. I guess I should be happy I got the couch."

Shit. Joe was happy he had his own house. When he said that out loud, Carl begged him for the use of his spare bedroom, which he'd given, thinking it'd only be a few days. Now, five months later, Carl was his unofficial roommate and he couldn't get rid of him. Which was why he needed the doughnuts. He was stressed.

His mother stopped baking for him that day too. After Stephanie announced to the entire congregation that she was requesting that they all say extra prayers for him and the other men, who had been led astray by strippers working on the devil's behalf. Yeah. The burg loved that.

An hour later the rumor had spread that he had caught some sort of VD that would make his pecker fall off if God didn't intervene. And Steph came out smelling like a rose. She was the good woman asking for God's help to save the soul of the man she loved. The thing was, since his dick was liable to fall off, no one expected her to stay with him. It was bullshit. He was out a girlfriend and now every other woman in the neighborhood looked at him like he was a leper.

He was pissed. He charged over to her apartment and was met with the barrel of a shotgun, which she had leveled at his nose. She was fucking crazy. She trashed his life and was threatening to kill him, just because he fucked another woman. So he blew up and told her just what he thought about her, their boring sex life, and her behavior. Her answer was to cock the gun.

He hadn't talked to her since, but he was on the receiving end of her death glare dozens of times. They couldn't seem to avoid one another. She was at the station, and Pino's, and the bakery. And the more he saw her the more he missed her. He'd gotten caught up in thinking about the boring sex routine, but he didn't stop to think beyond that, to all the good things. Like coming home to her at the end of a really bad day and having her kiss away his wariness. Or waking up with her and having her kiss him goodbye and make him promise to be safe. Or just talking to her about their days over subs as they cuddled in front of the TV. He had what everyone wanted, someone to love him. And he threw it away for a one night stand. Maybe he deserved to be alone. She deserved better than that, better than him.

But he sure as hell knew, Manoso wasn't that. This was all that SOB's fault and he wasn't going to let him win the girl. No fucking way.

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Stephanie picked up her messenger bag and frowned. She shook her head at herself and wondered if she had the guts to actually go through with this. It was a life changing move. Heck, it was probably a life threatening move too. But did she care? Not really. It'd taken her the better part of five months to figure out what she wanted. Now she had to act on it.

To say the last five months had changed her would be an understatement. When she saw the man she'd been dating for seven years up on stage, making out with a stripper, she felt like she lost her mind a little. She had been so upset about the blow to her ego, that she nearly made a huge mistake. She almost slept with another man, one that she soon discovered orchestrated the entire event. And then she did the only thing she could do. She tore them both down.

She thought she and Joe Morelli had been in a good place before that night. She was convinced they'd been on the road to marriage. They were committed, for once, and were spending a lot of time together. They were even half moved in with one another. It was the most domestic she'd ever been. And it was exactly what he wanted, she was growing up. So she couldn't figure out why he would go after some girl that was fifteen years younger than her. Or why every man she got involved with cheated with some disgusting skank. It was really eating her up inside. Especially since she wasn't sure she'd ever be enough woman to hold onto any man.

All those things were going through her head when Ranger Manoso showed up in the parking lot that night. Warning alarms should have sounded when he popped out of nowhere, but she was just so glad to see him that she didn't give a shit why he was really there. The way he looked at her, the way he made her feel, she needed it. She needed to feel desired and Ranger always delivered on that.

Over the years they had slipped in and out of one another's beds here and there. Never anything serious, just the most amazing love making that anyone could possibly experience. But those few times with him had never been enough for her. It was like getting an appetizer when you were starving. She wanted more. So much more. She wanted it all from Ranger…love, a commitment, and a promise of forever. But he told her he could only give her sex. He couldn't or wouldn't give her the rest.

She wanted to agree to his terms. She wanted to be okay with what he could give, but she couldn't do it. She knew it'd never be enough of him. She couldn't risk being hurt when it ended. So she'd been the good girl. She chose the man that could give her a relationship over the one that could give her orgasms.

But that night she threw caution out the window. She was ready for a hot, dirty, no-strings night in the arms of her magical lover. He drove them back to his apartment completely aware of why she was in that car with him. Once they were inside his apartment he kissed her and it was hot and steamy and everything a kiss from him always was, perfect.

They had pulled each other's clothes off in a frenzy before falling into his bed naked. She found herself underneath him. His mouth was on her and in mere minutes he proved why he was indeed still the wizard. Her body was wet and ready. She needed him inside of her and was begging for it. He was hard and ready, perched above her, pushing at her entrance and then he got the weirdest look on his face.

He rolled off of her and laid on his back, staring up at his ceiling. She didn't know what was happening. She practically begged him to fuck her, but he just shook his head. Then he said it, "I paid that girl to bring Morelli on stage, Stephanie." She wasn't sure what to think. When she asked him why, he just said he was messing with him. He hadn't planned on things getting that out of control.

But she read between the lines. He'd planned on fucking up her relationship enough that she'd run to him for sex. Just like she had. She had been so angry with him. How couldn't she have been? He helped hurt her. But it hurt worse that he was going to use her that way.

She didn't give him a chance to explain. She got dressed and walked out on him. One of his guys drove her home for her car. Then she went over to Morelli's to talk to him. They had things to discuss. But he wasn't alone. He was in his bed with the stripper. She had him cuffed to the bed and was riding him hard. It was exactly like finding her ex-husband being rode by Joyce Barnhardt all those years ago. She wanted to die.

She went home and cried herself to sleep, then the next afternoon she got up and decided to get on with her life. She couldn't rot away just because the men she loved treated her like she was nothing better than garbage. She didn't take their calls. She avoided them. She was done. They just didn't seem to understand that.

Morelli tried to talk to her. He tried to explain himself, but there is no forgiving what he did to her. Cheating was a nonnegotiable, so she wouldn't even speak to him. When he followed her to church a couple weeks later she had enough. She stood up and humiliated him in from of the entire burg. She told them all that he caught a disease from the stripper, which could have been true. She did notice a weird cold sore on his lip a couple months ago.

She also thought the other cops wives should know exactly what the four of them had done. They'd been livid. Shirley had kicked Eddie onto the couch for a month before forgiving him. His permanent punishment was watching the kids once a week while they had a girl's night out. Big Dog fared much the same with his wife, but Carl's wife had enough. She knew his entire paycheck went to the titty bar. She warned him to stop, but he refused time and again. She finally had enough, she filed for divorce. Carl was living with Joe now, and they both looked the worse for wear because of it.

After that Joe stopped bothering her. He avoided her and didn't speak when they accidently met somewhere. It gave her time to think about what she really wanted from life. It also gave her time to think about the silent and invisible Ranger.

Unlike Joe, Ranger didn't call or stop or follow her around, not while she was home or awake anyway. No, she just woke to a dozen roses, twice a week for the last five months. Each just had a simple note that said, _I'm sorry_. Nothing more and nothing less, just, I'm sorry. Not even when she went to RangeMan and dumped all her trackers onto the reception desk, with a note asking that he not bother with her anymore, had he shown up to see her. She just woke in the morning to find one simple tracker lying next to her fully loaded gun, a charged stun gun, and a small fire extinguisher. The note that time had said, _Please carry a tracker. I need to know you're safe._

It's not like she didn't see him, or at least traces of him, around. When her car blew up, she saw his car arrive on the scene, but he never approached her. He just checked and left, of course he'd had one of his guys stick around to give her a ride, but it wasn't the same. When she was working on something she couldn't figure out or looking for someone she couldn't find, she's wake up to find an address or a name on the counter, with no other explanation.

It was frustrating and infuriating. Not because he was still there, popping into her life like always, but because she missed his physical presents. She missed him being pushy and overprotective when she was being unreasonable. She missed his smirks. She missed his Ranger-humor and the way he could make anything sound dirty. She missed the way he held her in his arms when he wanted to know she was safe. She missed the way he kissed her to let her know he would miss her. She missed the way he said the word, Babe, to mean about anything. She just missed him. All of him.

So two weeks ago, when Tank pulled her out of a burning building and she saw him wave to the Porsche parked across the street, before it disappeared, she had to know what was going on. She demanded that Tank tell her why Ranger was avoiding her. Why he was still taking care of her if he didn't care enough to speak to her.

Tank shook his head and said, "Took you long enough to ask." She didn't understand what that meant, but he continued. "The man knows he fucked up, but he clearly loves you, Steph. He can't let you go if there is hope and there's still hope if he doesn't hear you tell him there isn't." He'd been avoiding her so she couldn't push him away for good? Then Tank said, "Do him a favor and figure your shit out. You need to either forgive him or cut him loose. This is hurting him too much to keep it going this way."

She'd been floored by that. She'd also thought about it for the last two weeks. All she could think about were the wonderful things he'd done for her over the years. The way he still took care of her, even though she'd walked out on him. And certainly the way she missed him. There was no denying herself anymore. She loved him. So there was only one conclusion she could come to. She had to see him, make it clear what she wanted, and put the ball back into his court.

That's what she was doing right now.

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Ranger looked up when he heard his office door open. He saw the one thing he never expected to see again. Stephanie Plum, dressed in a light blue, lacy dress. It was short and sleeveless and belted tightly around her waist, showing off her arms and legs and all the delicious curves in between. Wow.

She smiled and lifted the bakery box in front of herself. "Happy Birthday," she said sweetly.

He stood and smiled back. It seemed too good to be true. He didn't know if he should trust the overwhelming feeling that she was forgiving him or not. "You got me cake?"

She shrugged. "Peace offering," she said with a sweet smile. "Plus, I figured if you wouldn't join me and I'd get to eat the entire thing. Win-win."

It was like all those months apart evaporated just like that. She was back. "Babe."

"Do you want a piece?" she offered, even though her entire face lit up when he called her Babe.

"Let's go upstairs. I have plates and forks."

She grinned. "How civilized."

He grinned back, imagining her eating it with her fingers. God, how he had missed her. Her quick wit and sharp tongue, her caring nature and her fierce temper, her sweetness and her stubbornness, her determination and her brilliant mind, her smile, her voice, her scent, her kisses, her sexy curls, her body against his, all of it, all of her. He knew he loved her before, but once she was gone he realized what he was missing. He realized he couldn't let her go.

They walked into his apartment and he noticed her stiffen slightly. They hadn't been here together since the night she walked out on him. The night he fucked up everything. No, he didn't regret telling her the truth. It would have been so much worse he had slept with her before his confession and not confessing at all hadn't been an option. He couldn't keep that from her. It'd hurt them both if she ever found out from someone else.

He put a hand on the small of her back and felt a zing of electricity shoot up his arm. He shook his head. How could he have denied that they belonged together so long? He'd never had a connection like that to anyone else and he knew he never would again. His Babe was it for him.

She placed the cake on the counter and smiled at him. He turned to grab the plates and he felt the jolt surge through him. No way.

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"I can't believe you did this. What the fuck did you use on him?" Tank snarled as he lifted Ranger in his arms and carried him into the bedroom.

She held up the stun gun Ranger had given her. "He said it'd drop an elephant. I figured we'd have a couple minutes to get him restrained."

"Tell me again what the fuck you were thinking?"

"I wanted to get him into a position that he wouldn't have the upper hand in," she told him as she pulled out the cuffs and rope and ties she had stashed into her handbag with her stun gun.

Tank dropped Ranger onto the bed and took the rope. "You realize, if you wanted to do some kinky dom shit with him he'd be all about it, right?" he asked. "You didn't need to zap him and tie him up like this."

She rolled her eyes. "I want to make him _listen_ to me, that's all." Though looking at him like that, was kind of appealing. She could just imagine the things she could do to a helpless Ranger. Hmm.

"Right," Tank grumbled as he tied off the ropes that attached his wrists to the bed. "You two are fucking crazy. Most people just talk about their feelings without assaulting one another."

"We're not most people. Now get out before he wakes up," she said, waving him out of the apartment. "And Tank, thank you."

"Don't you ever fucking mention it," he ordered.

She smiled and finger waved as he left her alone with her sleeping beauty. He'd come around in a second, she was sure. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited.

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His head hurt like a bitch. Christ. He tried to move and couldn't. What the fuck? He opened his eyes, ready to fight and found himself on his bed, face to face with Stephanie. "Hi," she whispered. "Sorry about this, but I had to be sure that you would hear me out."

He didn't know what was happening. Was she still pissed at him? Was this some revenge scheme? What was she planning to do to him? "Why did you tie me up?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't let you touch me or kiss me or distract me like you can," she complained. "I just want you to lay there, quietly, and listen to me. Can you do that?"

Fuck. That was kind of sexy. "Yes," he answered obediently. He figured it was the least he could do, besides, if he were honest, maybe they could explore this role reversal a little more.

"Thank you," she whispered, before kissing his forehead. "Why didn't you come talk to me since that night?"

"I knew you needed time to deal with everything."

She scrunched up her nose like she was trying to figure something out. "Why the flowers?"

He smiled, the flowers were because he's completely in love with her. "I didn't want you to forget about me."

She blushed then. "You knew I'd never forget you." Ranger gave himself a mental high-five, score one for the man. "What about the work clues?"

"Just helping you out. You are still my Eliza Doolittle, right?"

She shrugged and smiled. "You are my Professor Higgins. He was an idiot too."

"What?" He couldn't believe she just called him an idiot, to his face. Then again, he was restrained, really well. He wondered how the hell she tied those knots.

"He was going to let Eliza marry another man when he was clearly in love with her himself."

He smiled then. She'd been thinking about them too. "But she came back and saved him from his lonely life."

She smiled back. "Is that why you paid that stripper?"

Shit, he thought. He didn't want to relive that night. "I was playing Higgins, yes. I didn't know Morelli was going to be there, but I knew you were. And I knew the guy was dangerous. So I was just there to help you in case it got out of hand." She didn't seem to like that, but sighed and nodded for him to continue. "I saw them acting like idiots and thought it would be entertaining to get him on the stage. So I paid the girl to bring him up there and mess with him. I did not ask her to do what she did and I never expected him to act like he did."

"I didn't find it entertaining at all," she said with a hard look. "How much did you pay her?"

"A thousand bucks."

Her eyes widened. "That didn't include sex, did it?"

God, no. He enjoyed messing with Morelli, but buying him sex? That was extreme, even for him. "No. Why?"

"I found them together, in his bed."

He didn't know what to think. It hurt him to think she jumped out of his bed and ran to Morelli, but he hadn't given her any reason not to. He sent her back to him time and time again. "I'm sorry for my part in all this."

She rolled her eyes. "The forty bouquets of flowers may have made that point for you." He smiled at her. "Thank you, by the way."

"I'm glad you liked them."

"Not just for the flowers, but for opening my eyes. I finally saw his true colors, and it was before I made a huge mistake."

"Babe," he said softly. He didn't want to be thanked for what he did.

"It also made me see what I wanted. It made me notice the things that I value. It made me want to go after my dreams."

He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. "Babe?"

"You have no idea how much I missed you. I had to fight myself everyday not to give in and call you or stop by to see you. I realized how much I want to be with you. I love you, Ranger. I have for so long. I know you don't think we can have a relationship, or whatever, but I think we can. Will you please think about giving us a chance?"

"I haven't thought about anything else," he told her. "I love you too."

She smiled and crawled on top of him, then leaned down to kiss his lips. "Will you go on a date with me?" she whispered.

He laughed then. "Yes. I'd be honored to go on a date with you."

"These ropes seem a little excessive now," she said with a frown. "I was expecting a fight."

He lifted an eyebrow at her and grinned. "Were you planning to torture me until I agreed to date you?"

She snorted, "That would have been futile." They both knew she had no stomach for torture and his threshold was way too high for her to break him anyway. She shook her head as she reached for the rope.

"Not so fast," Ranger interrupted. "Since you already have me here, maybe you could try a little of your torture techniques on me."

"Are you serious?"

"Babe," he smiled. "I always told you that I'd let you drive in bed."

She smiled widely and grasped the sides of the dress shirt he wore. She yanked hard and pulled the buttons loose, before spreading it open over his bare chest. She reached over to the night stand, where the cake waited, and dipped her finger into the buttercream frosting. She spread it over his nipples as she looked into his dark eyes. Then she dipped her head and traced her tongue over the same spot. "Mmm," she moaned. "I love this frosting." Then she sucked the nipple into her mouth and nibbled and licked until it was clean.

She repeated the process over and over until he was lifting his hips to rub against her. She scooted down and opened his pants. She looked down at his huge dick and licked her lips. It definitely needed some frosting. She spread the white frosting over his dark skin and couldn't wait to taste it. It looked delicious, like a swirl ice cream or something. She took it in her mouth and moaned in delight.

He grabbed her hair and moaned loudly. "Hey! How'd you get out of the ropes?"

He smiled to himself. That was easy, Tank put the knots against the insides of his fingers. "Babe," he answered as he pulled her up the bed and flipped them over.

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They laid in a breathless heap, tangled together happily. He leaned over and licked some of the remaining frosting from her neck, making her squirm beneath him. "I love this cake," he growled as he hardened against her hip again.

She had to agree, best thirty bucks she ever spent.

_****Follow along for Stephanie's chapter coming on October 12**__**th**__**. Thanks everyone.****_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_****Glad so many of you followed along to see where this would go. It's been interesting trying to tell the whole story in three chapters. And I think I went a little crazy with this chapter, but what the heck, I can do whatever I want. I wanted to touch a little on what the other characters are up to and get Steph and Ranger to their ending. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with them or where this was going to go, but it wrote itself and I let it. So I hope you enjoy it.****_

October 12th-Stephanie's Birthday

Seven and a half months ago Joe Morelli made a mistake, one that was now as big as a house. He watched the pretty brunette waddle into his mother's living room and drop onto the couch. He shook his head in dismay, wondering what he did to deserve this.

His mother smacked him on the back of the head. "When are you going to do something about this, Joseph?" He sighed. He'd been putting it off since she'd shown up on his doorstep six weeks ago, but the test results were back now and there was no denying that it was his responsibility to take care of her.

"I had a vision. This is just the first of five," Grandma Bella told him. "She's a good breeder. And young too. Her eggs are fresh."

He dropped his head to the table, thankful for the stinging pain. "You need to get married soon. That baby will be a bastard if you wait any longer," his mother hissed at him. "What will the neighbors think? My Joseph, with a little bastard for a son."

Joe imagined the neighbors thought _he_ was the bastard for knocking up a stripper in the first place, especially since he was dating a nice burg girl when it happened. He'd made some elaborate plans to win his girlfriend back and make her see he was the man for her, but those plans all went to shit when he opened the door and saw the results of his betrayal. He knew she'd never forgive him when she found out about the baby. Just like the burg would never forget about it every time they saw the kid. No, making the kid an official Morelli would never wash the stink off himself, or the baby. But it would keep his mother from having a coronary. So he was prepared to do the right thing.

He'd gone to the jewelers to have his Grandma Bella's engagement ring sized to fit Christine. In fact, he'd just picked it up this morning. He figured it'd be a quick in and out stop and no one would be aware of what he was doing. But he was oh so wrong about that.

He chose a local jeweler that happened to be serviced by RangeMan Security, that fucker Manoso's legit business. And that son of a bitch was there speaking with the owner when Joe came in. He looked at Joe and glared. "Morelli," he said in acknowledgement.

"Manoso," Joe answered.

"Ah, detective, I finished your ring last evening. Just let me grab them both," the jeweler said before scurrying into the backroom. Both?

The men stood at opposite ends of the four foot showcase ignoring one another. The jeweler handed Manoso a box first. "I made the changes you requested and I think it looks exactly like your drawing," the jeweler announced proudly.

Manoso's lips turned up ever so slightly. Joe stared. Was Manoso smiling? "It's perfect," he told the older man. "I hope she likes it."

The man patted his arm. "I've no doubt she'll be wearing it for the next sixty years."

That made Manoso smile again. "Is that for Stephanie?" Joe asked angrily.

Ranger turned the ring toward Joe. He held a white gold band with a fairly large diamond centered on it. That diamond was surrounded by a circle of smaller diamonds. Alone it was a couple carats, but the band itself was covered in stones too, alternating between diamonds and something pink. "Pink?" Joe laughed.

"It's her birthstone."

And it was her birthday. That fucker. Even Joe had to admit that was as romantic as hell. "She's not exactly girly, Manoso."

Ranger smirked at him. "No, there's nothing girly about her. She's all woman."

Joe wanted to gag. He didn't need the reminder of the woman he lost or the girl he had at home. The one he had nothing in common with. The one he didn't even understand half the time. The one that never challenged him. The one that was more than happy to stay home, living off his check and having his kids. The one that would never be able to replace Stephanie. "You're proposing? To Stephanie Plum? You know she'd going to freak out, right? She's allergic to marriage."

Ranger's smile didn't waiver. "I'm not you, Morelli."

Boy, didn't Joe know it. He wouldn't have thought of her birthday, much less would he have thought about having a ring made for her with her birthstone in it. Hell, he wouldn't have thought to propose to her. Why ask for a commitment when you already have the girl? Unless…"Is she pregnant?" Joe demanded to know.

Ranger laughed and clapped him on the back. "Not yet."

What the fuck did that mean? Was he planning to have a family with Steph? A family that should have been Joe's? Fuck. The thought of Stephanie carrying Manoso's spawn inside her made him sick. He wished he could go back and put his baby inside her. He wanted a family more than anything.

The jeweler handed Joe his ring, making him realize he already had a family, of sorts. Ranger eyed the box and lifted an eyebrow at him. "Congratulations?"

Joe shoved the box into his pocket. "Fuck you, Manoso. I blame you for all of this." And he did. If Ranger hadn't paid Christine to bring Joe on that stage, he wouldn't have lost Steph, he wouldn't have gone home with the girl, and he wouldn't be proposing to the wrong woman tonight. Manoso stole his fucking hopes and dreams when he stole Stephanie.

Ranger grinned again, the smiley bastard. "If that's true, you should name your son after me." With that he shook the jeweler's hand and told him to call Tank if he needed anything. He nodded to Joe and left the building. Asshole. Carlos Morelli? The fucking nerve of that son of a bitch. Prick.

Joe pulled the ring out of his pocket and knew he should just get it over with. There was no reason to romance her or do something special. He was doing this for one reason only, so his son would have _his_ name.

Joe sighed, stood, and walked into his mom's living room. He wished he had a few beers instead of a belly full of ziti, because he felt sick and could use the courage to get this done.

He looked at Christine. She was still a beautiful girl, under the seventy pounds she gained. She'd get her shape back. She'd clean his house and she could cook a decent meal, he knew that. Plus, she's a freak in bed. He enjoys that too. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He couldn't have the woman loves, so why not make do with what he did have?

He'd propose, have her move in, and then they'd have their family. His family. Which made him realize he finally had a good reason to move Carl out. The baby would need the spare room.

He knew there was a silver lining in this mess somewhere.

He knelt down on one knee and took her hand. "Sweetheart, will you marry me?" he asked with a little smile.

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Ranger paced the hall outside his office. His men gave him strange looks, but no one said anything. And they were lucky they didn't. He was on edge. And he was never on edge. He never felt like this before.

Today's his girlfriend's birthday and he's been planning their celebration for the last two months. The problem is, now that the day is here, he isn't sure he can go through with the plan. And he doesn't like second guessing himself. He doesn't like feeling unsure.

His thrust his hand into his pocket and wrapped his fingers around the ring box. It was a big step, but they love each other. They've loved each other for years. And this is what she's wanted him to commit to for years now. So why was he so nervous about it? Why was he letting Morelli's words get to him?

He didn't hear Tank walk up behind him, so he jumped when the other man grabbed his shoulder. Tank's laugh boomed around him. "You need to be more aware of your surroundings, man."

"Fuck you," Ranger growled at him and slapped his hand away. He walked into his office and tried to slam the door, but Tank caught it and followed him inside. "Did I invite you in here?"

Tank shook his head. "I don't need an invite. I own a chunk of this building." Damn if he wasn't right. They were partners, though Ranger controlled the majority of the company.

"Knocking is a common curtesy," Ranger retorted.

Tank laughed and sat down in one of the chairs that faced Ranger's desk. "What's got your panties in a bunch anyway?"

Ranger started to roll his eyes, but contained himself. Bastard. He knew what today was. "I ran into Morelli this morning. He's proposing to the stripper."

Tank's smile widened and he laughed again. "Who skips a rubber with a stripper? Dumbass is lucky all he got was a kid out of that deal."

Ranger nodded and shrugged, Tank's logic was solid. Why risk disease? He always wore a rubber. Always. Hell, he never even skipped a rubber with Steph and he wanted her to have his kids, someday. Not that they always worked, but of all the women he nailed, and there were plenty, only one failed. Shit. Not that he thought of his daughter as a condom failure, at least not often.

Tank lifted an eyebrow at him. "Dude? What the fuck's wrong with you? You're freaking me out here." Ranger pulled the ring from his pocket and opened the box. Tank's eyes widened and he grinned. "You asking me to marry you?"

"Fuck you," Ranger growled back at him. "I was picking up the ring at the same time Morelli was there picking up his ring. He laughed and told me that Stephanie would run out on me if I asked her."

"And you believed Morelli?"

Ranger glared at his best friend. "No." But he did. At least a little. She startled easily and she tended to run away when she got scared. He didn't want her to run. He wouldn't let her run.

"Oh, shit, what did you do?" Tank asked, clearly getting the picture now.

"I have a plan," he answered. "I need to be able to ask her without her running."

Tank slapped himself in the forehead. "Seriously, what's wrong with the two of you?" he bitched. "And for the record I'm not tying her up for you."

Ranger frowned as he thought about Tank helping Steph tie him up on his birthday. The only thing that saved Tank from an ass kicking was knowing he made the knots easy to get out of. Well, that and the amazing sex that followed his escape. "I don't need your help restraining my woman," Ranger grumbled at him. Nope, because he'd already asked someone else to help him.

"Then what's the plan? You still taking her on the trip?"

Ranger put the ring back in his pocket. "We're catching a flight, in an hour. Once we're there she'll have nowhere to run."

Tank smiled. "Thank God you didn't do something stupid."

Ranger winced, he didn't say that. In fact, something stupid already happened, and it was time to go face the music. "Wish me luck," he said standing.

"Don't fuck it up," Tank said instead. He sure knew how to put his friends at ease. Fucker.

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Stephanie was just getting ready to head over to RangeMan. Ranger asked her to be ready to go, now. And he was never late. She picked up her handbag and looked at the door just as he knocked. See, never late.

She flipped her curls over her shoulder, adjusted the low neckline of her shirt so he'd get a good look at her cleavage, and smiled invitingly as she opened the door. "Hi sexy," she purred.

"Uh…" Hal muttered with wide eyes. "Hey Steph."

"Hal," Stephanie gasped at the surprise and dropped her handbag. "What are you doing here?"

"Ranger sent me to get you," he said walking into her apartment.

"Oh, okay," she nodded as she bent down to pick up the dropped bag.

"Sorry about this…" he said, then she felt the zap, and the world went dark.

Hal thought this would be nice, a little payback, but it wasn't nice. He felt badly about stunning her, but he had his orders and he'd follow them.

He tied her wrists and ankles, then picked her up and carried her down to his SUV. Boy, he hoped Ranger knew what he was doing, because Steph wasn't going to like this at all.

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Stephanie woke as warm hands moved under her shoulders, lifting her into an upright position. She tried to help, but couldn't move her arms. They were tied behind her back. Her eyes flew open as she looked at the man repositioning her. What the heck?

"Hal, what are you doing?" she grumbled at him.

He lifted her feet, which were bound too and put them into the SUV. "Don't fight me, alright. I don't want to stun you again," he told her calmly.

"Why the hell did you stun me?" she asked, not really sure if she should be worried or not.

"Payback," he said quietly.

Her mouth dropped open as she stared at him. Was he serious? Sure, she stunned him once, but that was years ago. They'd been through a lot since then. Surely he didn't still hold a grudge against her for that. "For what?" He stopped and looked at her, giving her a look that said duh. Okay, so he did still hold a grudge. "I'm sorry Hal. That was a long time ago and I was under duress. I thought we moved on. Aren't we friends now?" she asked as he jammed the seatbelt around her and closed door. Crap.

He got into the driver's seat and looked at her again. "I was only following orders that day, Steph. Ranger told me to stop you, so I was stopping you. And you stunned me. With my own stun gun. In front of the guys," he told her.

She stared at him, now giving him a look that said duh. "I know that, Hal. And I said I'm sorry. What else do you want from me? We've both been stunned, aren't we even now?"

"Yes. We're certainly even now," he told her. Then he started the SUV and pulled out of her parking lot. Crap. "But I'm not the _only _one you stunned."

"What?" she practically screamed. "I never stunned any of the other guys." Hal snorted a laugh. She hadn't. Tank broke his leg and Cal got a concussion, but those things weren't her fault. Not hardly.

They stopped at the intersection, waiting for the light to change. This gave Hal the opportunity to turn and stare her down again. "I'm only following orders, Steph," he told her, repeating what he first told her.

Payback. Stun gun. Orders. Oh, shit. "Ranger had you kidnap me?" she screamed as he took off from the light, not toward RangeMan. "Where the hell are you taking me?"

Hal didn't answer, in fact, he looked a little sick. Oh, boy, this was not good. She had stun gunned Ranger, tied him up, and forced him to talk to her on his birthday. But that was two months ago! And they had been dating, more than dating, they were practically living together all that time. If he was angry about what she did why wouldn't he have said something?

He never even acted mad. Nope, he seemed pretty happy to her. He certainly didn't seem upset when he left this morning. He kissed her senseless, then told her to have a happy birthday and repeated that he loved her, twice. And he said it all with a big smile on his face. He never let on that he was mad or planning to kidnap her that's for sure. So what the heck happened between this morning and now? Ugh. Why didn't men make any sense?

"Hal, I don't know what he ordered you to do, but you can't do it," she told him. "Just take me to RangeMan and we can all talk about this like adults."

"No can do," he told her without taking his eyes from the road.

Great. Just great. She had to get out of there. Clearly Ranger and Hal had both lost their minds. "How about we call Tank? Tank can talk some sense into him," she suggested.

"No can do," he repeated.

Crap. He wasn't going to budge on this. And she needed to get out of that SUV. No way was she going to let Hal hand her over to a mad Ranger.

She waited until he was focused back on the road, then tossed her body sideways into his. She figured he'd stop the car or try to move her to the backseat, then maybe she could get away or at least get someone's attention. All she managed to do was cause him to swerve a little bit though.

He pushed her back into her seat and gave her a hard look. "Stop that. Ranger will kill me if you get hurt," he warned. She wanted to smack him. Ranger had her stunned and kidnapped, but he'd be angry if she got hurt? Unbelievable. They really were all crazy. "Shit."

She followed Hal's glance into the rearview mirror. They were being pulled over. She was getting out of there!

Hal pulled over and allowed the policeman to come to the window. "You were swerving all over back there," Eddie Gazzara told him.

"Eddie!" Stephanie screamed at her cousin. "You have to stop him. He kidnapped me."

Eddie looked in the car at her bound hands and feet, then looked at Hal. "Did you kidnap her?" he asked. Steph wanted to smack him. Like the criminal is just going to admit to doing something wrong.

"Yes, sir," Hal answered. Well, she supposed every once and a while she was wrong.

Eddie frowned at him. "Why?"

Hal smiled and used his head to gesture toward her. "Ranger ordered me to restrain her and bring her to meet him."

Eddie's eyebrows shot up. "Ranger ordered you to kidnap his girlfriend and bring her to him? Why would he do that?"

Hal smiled. "Payback?"

Eddie seemed interested in that. "Is he planning to do her bodily harm?"

"No, sir. He would never hurt a hair on her head," Hal told him.

Eddie nodded, "I knew that."

"Excuse me!" she shouted at them both. "Isn't rendering me unconscious, tying me up, taking me somewhere against my will, and scaring the shit out of me enough to be considered bodily harm?"

Eddie considered her words as he looked at her. "No. Bodily harm would be telling one of your best friend's wives that he went to a strip club. Bodily harm would be sleeping on a lumpy couch for a month. A couch that hurt your back so badly that even six months later it's still stiff. Bodily harm would be getting hit by handbags every time you go somewhere for two weeks straight, by every burg woman you see, because they think you're a man-whore."

Crap. Eddie was still pissed at her. He really didn't look like he was going to help her at all, even though it was his freaking job. "You're just going to let them kidnap me? You can't do that? You're a cop."

Eddie shrugged at her. "Ranger won't hurt you. And I didn't see anything."

"Eddie!"

"Payback's a bitch, Steph," he said, then nodded at Hal. "Keep your vehicle under control."

"Yes, sir," Hal smiled and nodded in return.

"Oh, and Steph, happy birthday," Eddie waved. "See ya around, probably."

She could hear him laughing all the way back to his car. Crap. She couldn't believe this was happening. Why couldn't it have been a cop that she didn't rat out to his wife? She doubted even Joe would have let this happen to her. In fact, she knew he wouldn't. He'd arrest Hal, and Ranger. And they'd deserve it.

Crap. What had her life become that she was thinking that Joe Morelli could be her savior? Maybe she was the one that was going crazy?

Hal pulled back onto the road and switched lanes, heading out onto the highway. "Where are we going?"

"Trenton Mercer," he told her.

Oh, no. "The airport?" He nodded yes, but didn't expand on that.

Her brain about blew up. She had pictures in her head of being stuffed into a cargo box, then dropped into some third world country. Except she'd die. She wasn't a RangeMan. She didn't even know how to read a compass, if he even gave her one. And she couldn't live on twigs and bugs. She just couldn't do it. She'd die.

Oh, God. How could he do this to her? They'd been so happy, so in love, for the last couple months. She knew that wasn't a lie. There was no way he could fake the tenderness, the passion, the love, that he had shown her in that time. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. They were supposed to have their happily ever someday.

Damn it. She wanted to see him. She needed to know why he would do this. Hopefully she'd get the chance before she was flown off to God knows where. She could only hope he'd give her that much.

Hal pulled into the airport, did some security stops, and then drove into the restricted space. She sat quietly, not wanting to risk Hal getting arrested for this. It wasn't his fault that his boss had lost his ever loving mind. She was saving her fight for Ranger.

They circled around and came to a smaller plane, a jet, maybe. She wasn't sure. It looked ready to go, though, which made her stomach twist again. Would he just toss her out of that plane? What if he sent her to a desert? Or Antarctica? She couldn't survive the elements. She couldn't survive alone. She needed him. He was the one that saved her from this crap, not the one who caused it.

She trusted him.

Duh. She trusted him.

He wouldn't hurt her. She knew he wouldn't. No matter how many times he threatened to ship her off or toss her out of a window, it was all said in jest. He would do anything for her. Didn't he prove that enough times? Geez, the man jumped off a bridge for her. She could ask for much more than that. She had to trust that there was more to this. Maybe it was a joke? Or maybe Hal miss understood his orders? Or, heck, she didn't know. She just hoped Ranger didn't want to throw away their relationship. She didn't want to lose him.

Her heart was still saying trust him, but when Hal blindfolded her and lifted her over his shoulder, her mind was saying fight. She struggled against him, but it was pointless. She couldn't run even if he did drop her.

Hal finally did drop her, onto something soft. A couch? A mattress? She couldn't tell. She couldn't see. But she knew she wasn't alone. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and a jolt of awareness shot through her.

"Ranger?" she asked quietly, hoping it was him and not some trick her fear was playing on her.

"Babe," he replied just as quietly.

"What's going on?"

"You're on an airplane," he told her.

Ugh, no kidding. "Why?"

"Vacation." She felt his hands under her arms. He lifted her until her back leaned against a cushion. Then he fastened a seatbelt around her waist. She felt the bench dip as he sat next to her. His shoulder rubbed against hers, then she heard his seatbelt click too.

"You're coming with me?" she asked.

He laughed and kissed her lips. "Yes."

She thought he may just be the most frustrating man ever. "So, you still love me?" she asked.

Again he laughed. Again he kissed her lips. "Yes, I still love you. More than anything."

All the anger and fear melted away with his words. That he was frustrating didn't even matter to her when he spoke to her that way. Maybe she was a big dope, but she was too in love with him to even stay mad about how she got here. As long as he didn't drop her out of the plane, alone, they were good.

"We're taking off now," he told her.

"Then you'll untie me, right?"

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked, then kissed her forehead.

Oh, boy. She was a total freak. His words got her completely turned on. Maybe he didn't have to untie her, at least not right away.

The plane took off a little while later and Ranger relaxed against her, slipping an arm around her shoulders and nuzzling her neck. She wished she could see him. "Can you take the blindfold off?"

"No yet," he whispered in her ear.

"Why'd you kidnap me anyway? You could have just asked me to come on vacation with you?"

She felt his smile on his lips just a second before he kissed her. "Because I wanted to surprise you. And I wanted you good and restrained, so you won't distract me like you always do with your wandering hands and your soft lips and your beautiful eyes," he whispered. Mm, that didn't sound too bad to Stephanie. "I just want you to sit there, quietly, and let me convince you that my plan is a good idea. Can you do that?"

"I can try," she agreed with a little smile. It probably wouldn't be hard for him to convince her. She wasn't nearly so upset anymore. She was more intrigued than anything, well, except maybe horny. He definitely got her motor running, apparently even when she couldn't see him or touch him.

"Good girl," he responded with another kiss, this one much deeper than the others. Yes, she was just about convinced already.

He unhooked her seatbelt and turned her toward him. Then she felt his hands move from her hips down her legs, all the way to her ankles. He untied her feet and massaged the spots the ropes at been rubbing against. Then his lips pressed against each ankle bone. Dang.

"So you're not going to drop me out of the airplane into a third world country for stunning you?" she asked hopefully.

He pushed her thighs apart as he knelt on the floor, then moved between her parted legs. "No, I wouldn't drop you out of an airplane," he assured her.

"Good." She felt something cool press against her lips. She wasn't sure what it was, so she pressed them closed.

"Open your mouth," he commanded her. "Take it for me."

Wow. Okay, so she had licked about every inch of the man's body and had taken a few special parts into her mouth. She trusted him. Plus, it was kind of hot being ordered like that, by Ranger at least. She'd probably shoot anyone else that spoke to her that way. So she opened her mouth a little and slipped her tongue out.

It lightly touched the offering. It was sweet, but he pulled it away and moved his own tongue against hers. Mm, okay, she was definitely alright with this torture. He pulled back and whispered against her lips. "No licking, just open your mouth, take what I give you, and then close your lips around it. Enjoy what I'm giving you or I won't give you anymore."

Oh, boy. She really did want more. So she dropped her mouth open, allowed him to slip the sweets inside, and closed her lips around it. Then he pulled the fork out of her mouth. The sugar burst on her tongue. Buttercream frosting. And from the feel of it, it was a rose.

"Remember the first time I fed you a frosting rose?" he asked.

She did. She brought him a cake, but he didn't eat it. She was sitting on his desk, just after he was shot, and he placed the rose in her mouth. She nodded her head yes.

"Remember what I told you?" he asked.

She did. "One Ranger is all I'd ever need," she whispered back to him.

"Am I the only man you'll ever need, Stephanie?" he asked as he used his finger to rub frosting over her lips.

She licked his finger and sucked it into her mouth before releasing it with a pop. "Definitely," she agreed. "You've ruined me for all other men, without a doubt."

He laughed as he leaned in and licked the frosting from her lips. Then they kissed, a sticky, sweet kiss that was so deep she got dizzy. "You've ruined me for all other women too, Babe," he told her in a deep, passion filled voice.

She liked the sound of that. Then she felt the fork at her lips again, begging her to take a bite. She did. Chocolate cake. He fed her what must have been an entire slice, in between sticky kisses and some more frosting licking.

"That was the best birthday cake ever," she moaned as he licked some of the frosting from the top swell of her breast.

"It's a big cake, Babe. Would you like more?" he asked her.

She remembered exactly what they did with the frosting on his birthday cake and was looking forward to a replay of that. Her thighs got hot and her panties got even wetter as she thought about her mouth being filled with buttercream and Ranger. It was the best combination in the world. "I'd like you first."

He kissed her again, then slipped away from her. He wasn't touching her at all and she couldn't tell what he was doing because he still had her blindfolded, but she could sense that he was still close to her.

"I want you too, Steph," he told her. He reached out and stroked the sides of her face, then he lowered his hands down her arms and untied her wrists. He massaged her wrists and kissed them like he had her ankles, but they didn't hurt. They were just a little tingly, like they'd fallen asleep. "When we got together two months ago I knew you were it for me. But the time we've spent together since then has made that feeling so much stronger. You are the only woman I will ever love, Babe."

She reached up for her blindfold, but he caught her hand, not letting her take it off yet. "I love you too, Ranger. I've never felt like this about anyone before, and I never will," she agreed with him. "You're it for me too."

He leaned in and kissed her again. "I don't want you to go back to your apartment when we get home. Move in with me?"

He caught her a little off guard by that. They had been practically living together, alternating between apartments for two months. They shared breakfast and dinner every day. They shared their shower every morning. They shared their bed every night. It wouldn't be that different. She just wouldn't have her own space anymore. But did that really matter like it used to? She didn't see running from him or even wanting to be away from him. She really did love him with her whole heart. "Yes," she answered.

He kissed her again. "You've made me a happy man, Babe," he told her. "There's only one thing that would make me happier." He nibbled her bottom lip, making her squirm against him.

She had a feeling she knew exactly what that one thing was, since the evidence of it was bulging out of his cargos and rubbing on her knee. "I'll do anything to make you happy," she said with a naughty smile.

"Good," he told her. Then he pulled the blindfold off so she could see him. He was kneeling before her, holding an open ring box in his hand. "What would make me happier than anything else is if you'd be my wife. Stephanie, will you marry me?"

"Holy crap," she whispered as he pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger.

He lifted an eyebrow at her and gave her a lopsided grin. "Yes or no here, Babe. You're kind of killing me."

She couldn't hold in her laugh. He was so cute and nervous looking and she was so overjoyed and stunned. Her laughter just overcame her. He looked a little hurt until she flung herself into his arms and kissed him. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. I want you to be my husband more than anything," she said, as her laughter turned to happy tears. "It's all I've ever wanted Ranger."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here," he said with a relaxed smile on his lips. It didn't matter to her how long it took for him to figure things out. It only mattered that he loved her and wanted to be with her. "I don't want to wait another day."

"Me either," she agreed happily.

"Good," he grinned. "We'll be in Vegas in a couple hours."

She sat up and looked him in the eyes. "You mean you actually want to get married, tonight?"

"Yes." Her eyes widened as she looked down at him. Tonight was soon, really soon. But then again, Ranger would be all hers. Forever. Was there a better birthday gift than that? "Do I need to stun you and carry you into the chapel?"

She laughed at the image that created in her mind and suddenly she knew why he kidnapped her. He was afraid she'd run away when he asked her. Her big, bad Ranger didn't know how to deal with being vulnerable. For some reason that knowledge made the kidnapping seem like a very romantic gesture. "No, I'll be proud to walk in on your arm. But I want a wedding dress and real flowers and an Elvis. We can't have a Vegas wedding without Elvis. Oh, and lots of photos to show Grandma and the girls."

"Anything you want," he promised her.

"Right now, I want the rest of my cake," she said with a smile.

He smiled back. They had a few more hours alone on this plane. There was plenty of time for cake. "Anything you want," he said again. "It's your birthday."

88888888888888888888

Ranger smiled and kissed his wife's hair. She was snuggled against him, her back to his front, looking at their photo album which was on the bed next to her. He looked over her shoulder and tried not to laugh at the photos. The wedding was something else.

They'd gone to the first chapel they saw after leaving the airport. It was out of town and not busy. That should have given him a clue, but he was too excited about actually marrying her to put any thought into why it was empty.

The Blue Hawaii Wedding Chapel encompassed everything cheesy and tacky that a Vegas wedding chapel was known for. It was themed after the Elvis movie and tried to give the impression that it was actually Hawaii. There were potted palm trees and murals of waves. There were different packages you could purchase to have different styles of Hawaiian weddings too. Stephanie laughed hysterically when she pointed out that they could get married on a "sand beach" in their bathing suits. But Ranger wanted to see her in the dress they bought at the airport. It was hot. So they went with the Hawaiian night's package.

He was able to get everything she wanted with that package: fresh flowers, photos, a video, and an Elvis. Plus it wasn't a fake beach. It was a small room with an altar, covered in tropical flowers, and blue shag carpeting. Maybe it was bad, but it kind of reminded him of the week they spent together in Hawaii a few years ago. He had enjoyed that vacation, but he would have enjoy it so much more if she was his at the time. Which is why he is flying her there tomorrow, for a real honeymoon.

"I like this one of you," Stephanie said. "Look at your face."

Ranger picked up the book and looked at the photo. He looked kind of dopey and happy. "I was watching you walk down the aisle."

"I was watching you too. You're the most handsome groom a woman could ask for," she said as she snuggled her bottom back against his growing erection.

He admitted he didn't look bad. He was wearing a black suit that he'd brought along for the occasion, but his eyes were drawn to the Elvis standing next to him. Elvis was something of a train wreck. He was probably seventy-five years old, weighing a hundred pounds, wearing a baggy white satin rhinestoned jumpsuit, and a huge pompadour wig. Ranger assumed he was in need of a hearing aid too, since he yelled the words of the service and demanded they speak up, so they ended up yelling their vows too.

He flipped the page and pointed to a photo of Stephanie. She looked beautiful. She'd curled her hair and donned her bright blue satin wedding dress. It was short, it was tight, it was strapless, and looked amazing on her. Especially on her ass. He loved her ass.

She carried a giant bouquet of brightly colored tropical flowers in her hands. Plus, she was wearing a matching lei and had a bright yellow flower in her hair. Ranger didn't take his eyes off her all night. She looked perfect. And she was his.

"I can't wait to show the guys the video," she said with a laugh. Ranger laughed too. Tank would love it. "Think they'll be surprised?"

"Does it matter?" he asked her.

"No. Nothing matters, but being married to you," she said, snuggling her ass back against him again.

Damn, the woman was killing him here. He squeezed her hip and rubbed himself on her. "You're playing with fire, Babe."

"Then burn me, you hunka hunka burnin love," she teased. Yes, well, that may have been in the vows.

He flipped her onto her stomach and rolled on top of her as he pinned her wrists to the bed over her head and nuzzled the back of her neck. "You asked for it," he warned, then he attacked her neck with rough kisses as he rubbed his body against hers.

"Oh, yes," she sighed and lifted her hips toward him.

"I love you," he told her before nibbling on her earlobe.

"I love you too," she panted. "And I really need to feel my husband inside of me. Right now."

"Anything you want," he told her as he slid inside her warm body and stilled.

He noticed the diamond on her finger sparkle in the dim light. He smiled as he rubbed his thumb over it. He would have never imagined they'd be here together, married, but nothings ever made him happier and he doubted anything would.

It was a long road getting to this place and there were a lot of bumps and reroutes along the way. And maybe they would have eventually gotten here anyway, but he couldn't help but think that he made the best move possible when he gave that stripper money to dance with Morelli seven months ago.

Ranger smiled to himself as he thrust himself into his wife's welcoming body and kissed her neck again. Though he couldn't put a price tag on his love, and he'd spare no expense and drain his entire bank account just to have her like this, he still thought that stripper's tip was the best thousand dollars he'd ever spent.


End file.

Janet Evanovich, Drama