Gravity Falls 1. Tourist Trapped!

**I do not own Gravity Falls or anything, but I did create the characters Lavender Emerson and Emil Levitt. And of course, SPOILERS! Watch the show before reading this if you don't want spoilers. It follows the plotline very closely and would be fairly hard to understand if you haven't watched the episodes.**

Chapter One: Tourist Trapped!

"Lavender, watch out for that shed!" Emil yelled. "Ahhh!"

"Quit shouting and let me concentrate!" I shouted back in frustration. "And that is not a shed! It's just a bunch of trees that fell together!"

I kept my foot firmly on the pedal and swerved this way and that to avoid the giant gnome monster and shake off a few that jumped onto the golf cart.

"That way, that way, that way!" Emil kept shouting.

I sharply turned the wheel in my panic before we crashed into wall of gnomes that attempted to block our path.

I glanced at Emil to see him wildly swatting away gnomes.

"GRAHHH!"

"AHHH!" We screamed just as we witnessed a great shadow overwhelm us.

I guess I should explain who we are and what's going on before we go any further. My name is Lavender Emerson and the boy with me is my friend Emil Levitt. It was summer vacation and I was hanging out at his place again. Our parents wanted us to be friends, and the reason for that being because we live close to each other and our fathers are friends too. We were both thirteen but he was six months older than me. Emil and I only just became friends last summer but, to my surprise, we made quick friends.

We were tired of playing and decided to turn on the television and watch some Gravity Falls. Mr. Levitt was in the other room having a chat with my dad and their other friend who I am only slightly acquainted with.

"You know how weird Arthur is?" Emil asked while watching TV. Arthur would be the friend our dads are talking with.

I nodded.

"It was so strange. He usually doesn't talk about anything but strange inventions he'd like to create in the future, but he started going on about you," Emil said. "Something about some professor and you. Do you know what he was talking about?"

I smiled but just shrugged. Arthur was definitely referring to something from last summer. It'd be pretty cool if Emil could have just as exciting a summer I had last summer. I knew Emil liked Gravity Falls quite a bit so I began imagining what it'd be like to be in Gravity Falls.

Just when I finished the thought, something – maybe a hand – shot out of the TV and grabbed us both. Before we even had time to think, we were pulled into the screen and were flying across the sky and landing on a sign or something. The landing was hard and painful making me go off balance. In another second, I was toppling over and in a blur of colors I was able to grasp onto something. I was hanging on a second sign under the first one we landed on. I had also accidently kicked down the letter S in 'SHACK' and watched it land on the roof off the sign. I already had an inkling of where we were.

It was the Mystery Shack.

"Lavender!" Emil called. "Are you okay? Hang on!"

I swung my other arm up and got a better grasp on the sign. Emil quickly but recklessly climbed down to help me up. Once we had time to think, I looked at Emil again.

"Cartoon…" I remarked.

His hair didn't look as messy in cartoon, and his clothes were also different. He was wearing his dark red hoodie and sneakers that he wore frequently, and his jeans were still the same. I looked down at my clothes and saw I was wearing a plain pink skirt with a black shirt that depicted a simple pink rose.

"We're in Gravity Falls," he mumbled in shock.

"I'm sure I heard something outside," Dipper's voice murmured from below them.

I looked down and saw him looking around with a flashlight in hand.

"What do we do?" Emil asked me his eyes wide.

I shrugged and whispered back nervously, "Hide?"

Dipper heard our murmuring and shouted, "Who's there?!"

Emil and I smiled nervously at Dipper as his light hit us.

"Huh? Who are you guys?" he asked.

As we climbed down, Dipper eyed us distrustfully.

"Uh, I'm…" I then glanced at Emil who was slowly reaching his hand out to touch Dipper. I then slapped his hand. "Emil!"

"Ouch!" he let out, holding his hand where I had hit him. "Aren't you at all freaked out, Lavender? We're cartoony!"

"Either way, this is happening," I said, and to prove my point, I tried to pat Dipper's head, but suddenly my hand went right through him and he disappeared. "Gah! What happened?"

Emil's hand flew to his mouth as he whispered in horror, "Did you just kill him?"

"I didn't! He just…disappeared!" I exclaimed, flailing my arms around in panic.

"So what do we do? He's just…" He gestured over to where Dipper had disappeared, but just as he did, Mabel was walking out to check on Dipper. Emil's arm went through her and immediately after she disappeared.

It was my turn to gape in horror. "We're KILLERS!"

Emil covered my mouth and shouted shakily, "That's going a bit far! It was all on accident!"

"We have to go apologize to Grunkle Stan," I said.

"No! I'm not going in there just to say to him 'Sorry I killed your niece and nephew,'" Emil huffed. "But it's not like we killed them! They just disappeared!"

"Wahhh!" I shouted in panic.

"Dipper! Stop with the screaming! You're making my ears numb with how high-pitched it is!" Grunkle Stan's voice shouted from inside the shack.

I frowned and asked Emil, "Did I sound like Dipper?"

Emil shook his head. I bent down and picked up Dipper's flashlight.

"This is all just a cartoon. How can this be happening?" Emil asked, taking the flashlight from me.

"Hey, maybe Dipper and Mabel disappeared back inside the Mystery Shack and we just can't touch people," I shrugged.

Emil frowned but turned off the flashlight and followed me inside the shack anyways. We snuck past Grunkle Stan who was watching television then up to Dipper and Mabel's room. Their room was empty.

Emil yawned, which caused me to yawn too. I suddenly felt tired.

"Weird, I'm sleepy suddenly," Emil yawned again, rubbing his eyes.

I was about to reply, but ended up falling into Dipper's bed and blacking out.

I woke up the next day to the sun shining in through the triangle window. Emil's figure was still asleep in Mabel's bed under her blanket. The world was still cartoony.

After stretching and rubbing my eyes to wake up, I went over and shook Emil's shoulder. He blinked open his eyes and looked up at me drowsily. I blinked in surprise when I saw him. Except it wasn't him. It was Mabel. She blinked a few times then widened her eyes and jumped out of bed.

"I'm still dreaming, aren't I?" Mabel asked. "Whoa! My voice! Why is it…Mabel-like?"

"Emil?" I asked then gasped in surprise when my voice came out like Dipper.

"Lavender?" Emil exclaimed. "No way!"

"C'mon, look at the bright side!" I said, slapping his shoulder as he patting himself down nervously. "Gravity Falls! Isn't this pretty awesome? Except for the fact that Dipper and Mabel seem to no longer exist…"

When we went downstairs, Grunkle Stan greeted us as Dipper and Mabel. I quickly came to the conclusion that we had replaced the two twins. It took a while for Emil to understand since he was so confused and freaked out. Once he did understand, it took a while for him to calm down.

"What do we do? How do we get back home?" Emil asked worriedly, pacing back and forth.

"I think we'll probably have to play out our roles till the end then maybe we'll be sent back. Maybe this is our chance for an epic summer romance with random cartoon people!" I exclaimed. "I mean, it's the cartoon world so it's totally fine to do crazy things that is either not possible or hard to do in real life!"

Emil just frowned. "You don't think we're actually changing up the show itself in the real world, do you?"

"Nah, I don't think so," I shrugged.

We had entered into the world of Gravity Falls on the very day Dipper and Mabel moved in. We had to work in Grunkle Stan's shop and get used to his horrible personality and pranks. It wasn't all that great. Another problem we faced was that everyone viewed me as Dipper and Emil as Mabel.

Finally one day…

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to hang up these signs in the spooky part of the forest," Stan announced.

I frowned. After the several days we had been here, I knew it would be best to go over there and continue the Gravity Falls storyline by finding the mysterious journal, but Dipper had been right when he commented on how he always felt like he was being watched when he was in the woods. I also, in his place, got the mosquito bites, spelling out 'BEWARB'.

"Not it!" I exclaimed immediately.

"Huh? I'm not doing it!" Emil huffed.

"Uh, also not it," Soos said.

"Nobody asked you, Soos," Stan replied.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," Soos said, before taking a bite out of his chocolate bar.

As Stan was asking Wendy to take out the signs, I could see where this was going. Grunkle Stan was going to choose me to take out the signs.

Just as Stan turned to randomly decide who would take out the signs, I shouted, "I need to use the bathroom so ask Mabel to do it!"

I was about to run off, but Emil grabbed the back of my vest and pulled me back.

Stan then handed me the signs advertising the shack and said, "Don't be a wimp, Dipper. It's not like there are 'monsters in the forest.' That's just a local legend trumped up by guys like me to sell my stuff to guys like that."

He then pointed to a large, sweaty man laughing at Stan's bobble heads.

As I was leaving, I dragged Emil out with me.

"Hey, I'm not supposed to go with you! That's not how the storyline goes!" Emil hissed.

I huffed back, "I know! I just wanted to let you know that if we're actually going to follow the storyline, you have to go and get that gnome boyfriend of yours."

Emil stared at me with wide eyes. "Oh…hey, maybe we don't have to follow the story after all…"

I patted his shoulder and reassured, "Just be your normal charming self and the gnomes will love you immediately and eventually kidnap you."

Emil shivered then exclaimed, "Why don't you do it?"

"Because I'm Dipper, remember? The gnomes won't want me as their queen," I pointed out.

"Wait!" he shouted as I began pushing him away from the shack. "Even if I were to go through with this, I don't know where to go find the little people!"

"Just wander around town or something," I sighed.

"Ugh, no, I can't do this," Emil said, turning to me. "Do you think our parents are worried about us back home?"

"They should be if they know their brother. I wouldn't want to send my kids to Stan," I remarked.

Emil shook his head and said, "I mean our real parents in the real world, not Dipper and Mabel's parents."

I thought about it. "Maybe we should worry about that once we figure out a way to get back home."

"How're gonna figure that out? So far you haven't been doing anything about this whole situation," Emil pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I don't see you doing anything! I can see why I'm the guy here now. Sheesh," I huffed, crossing my arms and turning away from him unhappily.

"Uh, hey, I didn't mean to offend you…" Emil said, his voice softening quickly. "I just…I'm scared that maybe we're stuck here."

I had never thought of that possibility.

"Well, maybe," I sighed. "We might as well enjoy our time here then."

Emil bit his lip. "Then, I'm not going to waste my time trying to get a boyfriend. I'm still a guy in actuality, after all."

I gave Emil the signs and said, "If we want to keep things interesting, I suggest finding the journal in the woods, first. Otherwise, every day of our summer will be just working for Stan and stuff. Boring!"

Emil took the signs and we began working together, hammering them onto random trees. Eventually, Emil found the secret door that opened up the hiding spot of the book. He took it and gave it to me to put in my vest.

"It's only been like, fifteen minutes," I said, checking my watch. "Let's go hunt for stuff in the book!"

"That's a bad idea! It's dangerous!" Emil scolded.

"Yeah, but it'll be fun," I smiled mischievously.

"You do that yourself. I'm going to stay at the shack," Emil said firmly as he turned to leave.

I grabbed his arm and begged, "C'mon Emil, please? Please, please, please?"

"No."

"With a cherry on top?"

"Uh, no."

"You wavered there. How about two cherries?"

"What? No."

"Fine! I'm going to the cemetery to find some zombies and no one will know if I die because you won't be there to run away and tell others!" I shouted as I ran off.

"Lavender!" Emil called after me.

I wasn't actually mad. I was just running there because I knew Emil was going to chase after me, and there may be some sort of supernatural creature there. Once I was there, I hid behind a gravestone from the figure already standing there. It was Norman.

Oh, this was where Mabel had said she met Norman! Nice going, me! Now that I think about it, why did Mabel go to the cemetery in the first place?

Emil eventually arrived, out of breath. He froze when he spotted the figure. The zombie-like guy turned to Emil with a groan.

"Eep," Emil squeaked. "Uh, hi."

"Hi," the boy repeated.

"I'm Mabel. Wh-What's your name?" Emil asked, pushing his hair back. Was he actually going to attempt flirting with this guy?

"I'm…normal…MAN!"

"Oh!" Emil said with a horribly forced smile. "N-Norm-Norman?"

I adjusted my hunched position behind the gravestone, but in doing so, I accidentally pushed the stone forward a bit. It went forward with a click to my surprise. Hearing the noise, Norman and Emil both turned to me.

"Huh? Lav – uhh, Dipper!" Emil exclaimed.

Before I could respond, the ground beneath me opened up and instead of a tomb being there, it was a slide leading down into the darkness. I was still holding onto the stone but as if some force was pulling me in, I fell back pulling the stone back into a proper standing position before losing grip on it. The last thing I saw before being consumed into the ground was the name on the stone: Corin Vauer

I bit my lip and shut my eyes as I slid down for a while in a straightforward slant. At least it didn't have any crazy loops like in the movies. I gradually came to a stop and opened my eyes, but it was still too dark to see. When I looked up, the opening where I had fallen in had closed probably because I pulled the tombstone back up.

I got up and slowly started walking forward, waving my arms out around me to ensure I wasn't going to crash into anything. The slide was still at a slight slant but eventually leveled out as I walked on. At one pointed, I knelt down to try to feel the ground underneath the slide, but when I could only feel air, I dared not step off the slide.

"Corin Vauer, you have a _very_ spacious tomb, don't you?" I muttered, grumpily.

Suddenly, one of my steps didn't land on the slide but through the air and with a shout of surprise, I tumbled face-first onto dirt a few distance below.

"Ugh," I grunted as I pulled myself back onto my feet and rubbed my cheek where I had landed. I blinked a few times, noticing my eyes were finally, slowly adjusting to the dark. The path I had been walking on made a sharp turn that I couldn't have noticed in the dark. I looked around and saw there were walls but they and the ground were far away enough from the path so that I didn't feel too claustrophobic. With a shrug, I climbed back onto the path and followed it.

By the time my feet were aching and my legs were tired, I noticed stairs going upwards. I groaned, but grumpily started up the stairs.

"Stupid stairs," I murmured. "Couldn't there be some underground elevator or something?"

Finally, I made it to the top of the stairs and saw a square in the ceiling could be pushed off. I shoved off the square and blinked for a while to adjust to the light. I then reached my arms over and started climbing out.

Mabel's voice cried out, "Lavender!"

"Emil!" I said in surprise and confusion as he helped me out of the ground and closed the exit to the underground path.

I looked around and saw we were in a clearing in the forest. In the middle of the clearing near where I had popped up, was a stone platform with a strange shaped hole in the middle of it.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Emil shrugged and said, "I only got here because Norman showed me the way, but quickly left once I was close enough to make it to this stone thing on my own."

"I don't remember this," I remarked.

"Yeah, neither do I, but it somehow makes the gnomes nervous," Emil said.

I nudged Emil and teased, "How did it go with Norman anyway?"

Emil frowned at me then muttered, "It went well… Even though I thought I was being pretty scary when I was asking him where you went, he still became my boyfriend as he led me here."

"How did you know he would know about this place?" I asked as I went over to inspect the hole.

"After you fell, he said and I quote 'Grr, she's going to a dark place.' And so I asked where you were going," Emil said with a nod.

"Oh," I replied, poking my finger into the hole, but suddenly pain zipped through my body like electricity. I fell back and patted myself down in shock.

I was gasping for breath after the shock while Emil was frantically asking if I was okay.

"I'm fine," I breathed. Slowly, the shock ebbed and I could get up without feeling tingly. "I dunno what that was but the gnomes probably have a good reason for fearing this place. That was horrible! Let's get outta here."

...

Back at the shack, Emil checked the clock then growled unhappily, "He'll be coming over in a few minutes."

"Cool. Do you wanna look through the journal with me?" I asked.

Emil immediately brightened up and hurried over to the armchair with me look through the pages.

"So many weird things in here…" he murmured, taking the journal from me and flipping through the pages.

Eventually, the doorbell rang, making both of us jump. Emil's elbow bumped against a can of beans on the table, causing it to topple over.

"Heheh, beans," I said with a smile while Emil rolled his eyes at me.

He sat down next to me and crossed his legs. "You go answer the door. I'm really into this page right now."

I got up and opened the door to see Norman.

"Is…uh, Mabel…here?" he asked, looking around behind me.

"Yeah, come in," I said as I turned.

I noticed Stan enter the living room and Emil quickly hiding the journal.

"Mabel!" I called.

Emil rushed past Stan and over to Norman, exclaiming, "Hey, my new boyfriend is here! Norman!"

"'Sup?" Norman let out then turned to Emil and asked, "So, you wanna hold hands or…whatever?"

"Uh," Emil looked to the side uncomfortably.

"Well, see you two later. I'm going to my room," I said as I took the journal from Emil and went upstairs.

In Dipper and Mabel's room, I looked outside the triangle window and watched Emil awkwardly dealing with Norman.

"Haha, that's so weird," I laughed. "What if Norman really was a zombie?"

"It's a dilemma, to be sure," Soos's voice said from behind. I jumped a little when I realized he was there.

"Oh, Soos," I breathed out in relief. "How did you get there so quickly and silently?"

"Well, I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room," he pointed out.

I scratched the back of my head mumbling, "Oh yeah, I do tend to…do that. So Soos, do you ever notice any strange, mythical things around you?"

"Oh yeah, dude," Soos replied, nodding. "I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." I waved away the scene cut that would show the mailman Soos was talking about and let Soos continue. "But you gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

"Oh, yeah, totally," I agreed.

I wondered if I should really get evidence when I already knew what Norman was and that Stan wasn't going to help in any way. Looking back out the window, I noticed Norman and Emil seemed to be playing a game of tag except that Emil looked genuinely scared. Norman wasn't even fast; Emil was just tripping over himself a bunch.

The next day, I woke up to see Emil was sitting in Mabel's bed with a look of dread on his face.

"Another date with Norman today?" I teased.

"It's the day he's gonna kidnap me!" he shouted at me. "Why did I do this to begin with? I am such an idiot sometimes. This could have been totally avoided if I just didn't go to the cemetery…"

"You're ruining Mabel's image with all the worrying you're doing," I said, patting his shoulder. "Just reject him and hurry back. Oh wait – it'll become a big gnome monster. I'll bring the leaf blower with me when I go over there."

"You're coming _with_ me," Emil huffed, crossing his arms.

"Okay, okay. But I'm taking the golf cart. You walk with Norman," I ordered.

"You're having fun, aren't you?" Emil said bitterly. "I don't know why I am even going along with this. I'm crazy, that's it!"

I laughed for a while. Once I noticed Emil wasn't going to laugh this off with me, I looked at him and saw him just staring at me, but he quickly looked away when we met eyes. "Okay, I gotta get changed before Norman comes."

Once Norman and Emil left, I got the leaf blower and went over to Wendy, who was driving in with the golf cart.

"Uh, can I borrow the golf cart?" I asked. "I wanna drive around with my new friend, leaf blower."

She smiled coolly and handed me the keys and as she walked off, she called back, "Try not to hit any pedestrians."

Soos then came over with a shovel and said, "Dude, it's me, Soos. This is for the zombies."

"Thanks for introducing yourself again, Soos," I said, taking the shovel.

Soos then held up a baseball bat and said, "And this is in case you see a piñata."

"Alright! Thanks for this one especially!" I said more happily, taking the baseball bat.

I began driving over to the area where Emil said he would stall Norman. When I reached the area, Norman had already revealed himself to be a bunch of gnomes.

The gnome named Jeff was saying, "Us gnomes have been looking for a new queen! Right, guys?"

The rest of the gnomes shouted together, "Queen! Queen! Queen!"

Jeff continued, "Heh! So what do you say! Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri-matri_mo_ny! Bleh! Can't talk today!"

"Eh, ah, oh…" Emil let out uncertainly. He then spotted me somewhat hidden behind some trees. "Well, I don't think I can be your queen. I uh, was thinking maybe we should just stay friends, y'know?"

The gnomes looked crestfallen and I could see it where it was going. "Okay, no, we understand what you mean. We'll never forget you, Mabel."

Even from where I was, I could see Emil go pale. Just as Jeff was saying 'because we're going to kidnap you,' he kicked the gnomes away and ran towards me. The gnome he kicked away harshly in the stomach, fell to its knees and vomited rainbows.

I watched it in fascination as Emil got into the cart.

"Drive!" he shouted.

"Wait, you have to put on your seatbelt!" I scolded.

Emil quickly buckled his seatbelt as Jeff was calling out, "Wait! This is just a big misunderstanding!"

As I stepped on the pedal and drove away, I snorted, "Heh, them gnomes are so small and freaky."

We then noticed a large shadow cast over our cart. Emil glanced back and exclaimed, "They became the big gnome monster!"

I stopped the cart and climbed out with the leaf blower.

"Alright! How does this thing work!?"

Emil stared at me with wide eyes from inside the cart.

"Schmebulock!" one of the gnomes shouted as it jumped onto me.

"Gah!" I shouted out as it pulled it off of my head and hurled it away. "Okay, I'm getting back in."

I jumped into the cart, handing Emil the leaf blower, before slamming my foot onto the gas pedal and driving away.

"Emil! You do the leaf blower thing. I'm never good with those machinery stuff," I said.

The cart suddenly lurched into the air for a moment after riding over a big rock then landed roughly back onto the ground, making me veer the cart off the path and driving around trees wildly.

"Lavender, watch out for that shed!" Emil yelled. "Ahhh!"

"Quit shouting and let me concentrate!" I shouted back in frustration. "And that is not a shed! It's just a bunch of trees that fell together!"

I kept my foot firmly on the pedal and swerved this way and that to avoid the giant gnome monster and shake off a few that jumped onto the golf cart.

"That way, that way, that way!" Emil kept shouting.

I sharply turned the wheel in my panic before we crashed into wall of gnomes that attempted to block our path.

I glanced at Emil to see him wildly swatting away gnomes.

"GRAHHH!"

"AHHH!" We screamed just as we witnessed a great shadow overwhelm us.

A load of gnomes were thrown onto the cart and began gnawing at the top and crawling onto us. Emil took the baseball bat and began whacking them all away. At one point, a gnome got onto my face and he immediately jabbed it away, but continued to jab my face unknowing that it was gone since he had his eyes shut.

"Emil!" I barked, pushing the bat away with one hand.

"Oh, sorry!" he said quickly before whacking another gnome away.

Eventually we reached the shack where Grunkle Stan was showing his merchandise to tourists. I stopped the cart and we got out.

The gnome monster stomped over to us and Jeff said, "It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"Okay! Come down here, then!" Emil shouted.

Jeff happily made his way down and held out a diamond ring. Emil didn't hesitate to suck him into the leaf blower and blast him into the gnome monster, scattering it back into a bunch of unorderly gnomes. He was also quick to blast away other gnomes who couldn't get away quick enough.

When he was satisfied, he put down the leaf blower and laughed. Although surprised at seeing that merciless side of Emil, I laughed too.

"That was great! I loved the look on all their faces!" Emil let out between fits of laughter.

We threw our arms around each other for a big hug then we both patted each other, awkwardly uttering in sync, "Pat. Pat."

"We watched this show way too much," I commented as I let go.

As we walked inside, Stan remarked, "Yeesh! You two get hit by a bus or something? Hah!"

Emil and I exchanged a glance then began making our way towards our room.

Stan then said, "Uh, hey! W-Wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory! So, how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Oh! Cool!" I exclaimed. "Thanks Grunkle Stan!" I ran over to the pine tree hats and put one on. "I'm complete."

"Yeesh," was all Grunkle Stan said to me.

We then looked over to Emil who cautiously took out the grappling hook. When he glanced my way, I gave him a thumb's up. He then smiled and looked at Stan.

Stan leaned over to me and asked, "Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?"

"Wah!" Emil shouted out. He had accidentally shot the ground with the grappling hook, which sent him flying back and landing roughly.

"Ahm, nah, she's fine," I reassured.

"Fair enough!" Stan said as he hit the cash register.

...

"It was a really tiring day today," Emil remarked as he set down the grappling hook carefully on the desk.

I jumped back into Dipper's bed and nodded. "But you know you should've done what Mabel did when you got the grappling hook."

"That's dangerous!"

"Dude, this is just a cartoon! And I mean, Link reference!"

Emil laughed.

It had been several days since we were sucked into this cartoon show called Gravity Falls. I knew eventually that we would need to work together to find a way back home instead of fooling around like this.

"Can you get the lights, Emil?"

"Okay." Once he turned off the lights, he said, "Good night, Lavender."

"G'night, Emil."

After fighting a hundred gnomes together with Emil, I knew he would always have my back. Something was telling me, there were more secrets to behold here than I originally thought. Even more than the show was letting on itself.


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

Chapter Two: The Legend of the Gobblewonker

"Emil, Emil," I whispered, leaning over to him.

"What?" he asked. He took a bite of his pancake then turned to me questioningly.

I stared at him intently, holding back a smile. "What's the ANP?"

"Huh?"

"What's the ANP?"

"Uh…"

"Average Normal Person," I said, rocking back and forth happily.

"What?" Emil snorted. "You're so weird, Lavender."

I let out the laugh I was holding back.

"Or maybe you've had too much syrup," Emil remarked as he pulled the syrup bottle away from me. "Oh, hey, look at that magazine." He reached over me and slid the magazine between us so we could both look at it. "Monster hunting contest! And the prize is one-thousand dollars! We could easily win this thing!"

"I'm not particularly interested," I responded, chomping down on my breakfast.

"Good morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?" Stan asked, walking over to us.

"Happy birthday?" Emil and I said at the same time.

Stan hit me in the head with a newspaper and huffed, "It's Family Fun day, genius." He got out some milk and sniffed it. "We're cutting off work and having one of those, you know, bonding-type deals."

"No thanks," I said immediately, remembering the county jail from our last family-bonding day.

Emil just shuddered.

Stan sighed. "All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some _real_ family fun! Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?!"

I stared at him in bewilderment while Emil shouted out his disapproval.

...

"Oof!" I grunted as the car lurched.

"Tell me again why we ended up wearing blindfolds anyway?" Emil sighed.

The car jumped again, making us fly out of our seats with only the seatbelt to hold us down. Now, Emil was tightly grabbing my arm, but I couldn't tell if he was trying to be protective or if he was just scared and seeking protection.

Suddenly there was the sound of crashing and our bodies were whipped around in the bounding car. Emil and I both let out a scream.

Stan just laughed, "Oh! That was a fence."

We eventually came to a stop and were let out of the car.

"Okay, okay. Open 'em up!" Stan's voice said.

Emil and I took off our blindfolds and blinked a few times to adjust to the light.

"Ta-da! It's fishin' season!" Stan announced.

I finally recognized what was going on and placed a hand on my hat in realization.

"Oh," Emil let out, also realizing what was going on.

"You're gonna love it!" Stan insisted. "The whole town's out here!" After we observed the strange townspeople out on the lake, Stan said approvingly, "That's some quality family bonding."

"Why don't you go fishing with other people?" I asked.

"Come on, this is gonna be great!" Stan exclaimed. "I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me. They don't 'like' or 'trust' me."

Emil and I shared a glance.

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up! Pow!" Stan placed hats onto both our heads. "Pines family fishing hats! That's hand stitching, you know. It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

I gaped while Emil once again shouted out his disapproval, but this time despair mixed in.

"I brought the joke book!"

I brightened up a little, but still didn't like the idea of ten hours on a boat.

"I seen it! I seen it again!" Old Man McGucket was shouting in the background. Emil and I looked up and watched him crash into several people. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrapdoodles away!"

Emil took a step back as the old man began dancing around. A lake ranger came over and sprayed Old Man McGucket with a spray bottle.

"Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, dad!" the lake ranger shouted.

The old man cried out as he showed us his wrecked boat, "But I got proof this time, by guppity! Behold! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it!"

After McGucket was considered only a crazy old man, Stan said gruffly, "Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!"

"Grunkle Stan, we should go monster hunting instead!" Emil suggested excitedly.

"Oh yeah! Let's go to Scuttlebutt Island and find that Gobblewonker!" I added.

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!"

I grabbed Emil's shoulder to calm him down when he began jumping.

Soos then drove by with his boat, asking, "You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?"

"Soos!" I said in surprise.

"Wassup, dude!" Soos greeted, bumping fists with me. "You can totally use my boat for your hunt! It's got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff."

"Alright, alright, let's think this through," Stan intervened. "You kids could go waste your time on some epic, monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

While he was talking, we had already boarded Soos's boat and drove off, leaving Stan behind.

"I feel bad," I commented, as Stan's boat disappeared in the distance.

Emil looked up in the middle of putting on sunscreen then said, "It'll be quick. I just want to get a picture of the monster then we'll go back and hang out with him."

I frowned and said, "You do remember this episode, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Emil huffed. "I still want that picture though. It'll at least seem legit. We'll definitely win then get that prize money."

"We don't need the money," I argued.

"Then why did you agree to go on this monster hunt? You should've just stayed with Grunkle Stan," Emil pointed out.

"I went along to get out of that situation, or at least stall it. I mean, ten hours in that boat? Nu-uh. Not gonna happen," I said, shaking my head.

After a while of silence, Emil remarked, "I remember reading something interesting about Scuttlebutt Island in the journal."

"Huh? Really?" I asked as I pulled out the journal.

Emil took it and flipped through the pages till he found what he was looking for. "There. See?"

I looked at the page. There was a rough sketch of a faded figure in a fog.

"While on a little excursion around this misty island, I discovered a strange being. I could never get a clear view of it, but whenever I was about to glimpse it, something would get in the way of it. I do not think it is harmful if you leave it alone, but I do advice against provoking it," I read.

"What freaks me out is the next part," Emil notified.

"It would seem it tampered with my memories. While I don't know how I got back from Scuttlebutt Island, I do know that creature was the one I last saw before my memories blank."

"Do you wanna try looking for that thing instead of the Gobblewonker?" Emil asked.

I shook my head and said, "That's too dangerous. We have no idea what this thing is."

The boat then crashed into an abrupt stop, making us topple over.

"Looks like we're here," I mumbled, pushing Emil off me so I could get up and brush myself off. "Get the lantern."

Soos, Emil, and I got off the boat and began walking through the foggy trees.

"Dude, check it out," Soos said. We both turned to him and saw him covering the 'Scuttle' in the sign saying 'Scuttlebutt Island'. "Butt Island."

I laughed while Emil commented, "Yeah, who would name anything something like Scuttlebutt? It's like it was meant to be made fun of."

Suddenly a possum came dashing through, snatching the lantern right out of Emil's hands.

"Oh no!" Emil gasped. "Argh, it's hard to see now!"

We then heard growling in the distance.

Soos said nervously, "Dude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh… Maybe this isn't worth it."

Emil looked at me.

"Well, I still want to take a look around. This is what adventure's all about! Taking those risks, y'know?" I declared.

Emil looked uneasy, but nodded. "Okay, let's just tread on carefully."

"Uh, uh, okay, dudes, wait for me!" Soos said, catching up to us.

As we were walking, Soos began beatboxing..

I smiled at Emil and said, "My name is Dipper. It rhymes with…"

"Slipper!" Emil finished.

"Yeah! It also rhymes with…"

"Sh-Shipper!" Emil suggested.

"It also rhymes with Jipper!"

Soos remarked, "Dudes, we should be writing these down."

I then heard a distant growling and stopped, holding out a hand to stop Soos and Emil too. "Do you guys hear that?"

The growling continued, but now that we were silent, we could hear it more clearly.

"Is that the monster?" Emil asked, sounding both excited and nervous. "I have my camera ready!"

"You brought a camera?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, but I only have one and I'm definitely not going to let anything happen to it!" Emil said determinedly. "Let's go!"

Just as Emil and Soos began running towards the direction of the monster, I heard something in another direction. I hesitated and turned to where I thought I heard the unnatural noise. There was only fogginess. Deciding I had imagined it, I turned to catch up to Soos and Emil only to realize I had lost them.

"Huh? Mabel! Soos! Where are you guys?" I asked, turning around and around hoping to remember the direction I had seen them go, but everywhere around me looked the same. There was no reply from either of them either. It was now foggier and I could barely see a few inches in front of me.

Feeling slightly panicked, I shouted louder, "Emil!"

Suddenly I realized a faded figure had been standing right in front of me. Frightened, I stumbled back and barely caught myself from falling.

"Emil?" I said quietly, but I knew it wasn't him.

Emil was in Mabel's body and the shadow was definitely taller.

"Wh-Who are you?" I asked defensively.

It slowly reached out a hand and suddenly I remembered where I had seen this before. It's the figure described in the journal! I gasped and quickly turned and ran away. After running through the endless fog and trees, I stopped to catch my breath.

"Emil!" I shouted, but there were only the hollow echoes of my own voice. "Sheesh, you've got to be kidding me…"

I sat down and leaned against a tree. I had planned to take a short rest before walking again, but the shadow was once again right in front of me, extending its hand towards me. Before I could run, scream, or defend myself, a strong weariness swept over me and I felt myself fall into deep unconsciousness.

...

Someone was shaking my shoulder.

"Hey, hey, wake up! It's almost dark out," Emil's voice was saying close to my ear. "You're dad already left, too."

I blinked open my eyes for a while. It felt like I had slept for a week!

"Emil…?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and sitting upright on the couch.

"Yeah, lazybones," Emil snorted. "You have to go home soon."

"Huh, uh…what happened?" I asked drowsily. "We're back to normal…? You don't look like Mabel anymore." I then checked myself. "And I don't look like Dipper."

"Haha, looks like you're still half-asleep," Emil laughed in amusement. "What the heck is with those dreams of yours?"

"What?"

"Well, it makes sense since you fell asleep while we were watching Gravity Falls," Emil continued thoughtfully. "Urgh, I'm getting sidetracked again. You gotta go home now, Lavender. It's getting dark already."

I blinked a few times in confusion. That dream where I turned into Dipper and Emil into Mabel was all a dream? I wonder what was going to happen next…

"Ah, okay. See you tomorrow, Emil," I said as I got up and stretched. "Where's my bag – oh, there it is."

As I walked over to my house, I found it strangely foggy out, and for a second, I felt like I was being watched. I turned around and saw the faint outline of a person some distance behind me being obscured by the fog. I decided to ignore it and continued on home.


	3. Anocti Ire

Chapter Three: Anocti Ire

I opened the television and saw Gravity Falls was on, but I didn't recognize the episode.

Dipper was reading out of the journal, "While on a little excursion around this misty island, I discovered a strange being. I could never get a clear view of it, but whenever I was about to glimpse it, something would get in the way of it. I do not think it is harmful if you leave it alone, but I do advice against provoking it."

"What freaks me out is the next part," Mabel said, pointing over to the next paragraph.

"It would seem it tampered with my memories! While I don't know how I got back from Scuttlebutt Island, I do know that that creature was the one I last saw before my memories blank."

"Do you wanna try looking for that thing instead of the Gobblewonker?" Mabel asked excitedly.

Dipper agreed just as excitedly.

While they were driving over to Scuttlebutt Island, Dipper called Mabel over and exclaimed, "Mabel! I found more about the figure in the fog. It says, 'Stay away from the Anocti Ire. The figure in the mist can see into your mind and will play mind games with you.'"

Before Dipper continued, Emil suddenly jumped over the couch and landed beside me while closing the T.V. with the remote. I let out a shout of surprise then punched Emil lightly in the shoulder for scaring me.

"What're you doing here, Emil?" I asked, still grumpy that he suddenly scared me like that. "I was watching an episode I hadn't seen before!"

"You can always watch it again later," Emil pointed out. "I mean, it's not good to always be watching T.V. Get out and have some real fun!"

"Funny, I'm usually always the one saying that to you," I remarked, getting up and following Emil outside. When I saw it was still foggy out, I stopped and said, "Oh, it's still foggy out. Let's stay inside today."

"It's not that bad," Emil said, not turning back to me.

I tried to grab his shoulder and pull him back, but somehow without my realizing, he had gone farther away and my hands reached for a faraway Emil.

"Wait up!" I called, running over to his figure in the mist.

I could see his outline seemed to wait for a bit before turning and walking farther away. Even though I was running, I still couldn't catch up. I felt strangely sluggish too and could barely lift my feet.

"Ugh, wait! Emil!" I called out.

I continued deeper into the whiteness, believing I would eventually catch up to Emil, but I only continued deeper and deeper into nothingness.

_Stay away from the Anocti Ire._

I stopped, suddenly realizing I was chasing after the Anocti Ire, but the weight on me had become unbearable, pushing me down to my hands and knees. It was hard to breathe, hard to move.

A shadow fell over me and I knew the figure was closer than ever. I forced myself to look up at it and see its dark face several inches from mine, but still covered by thick whiteness.

"Stay…back," I struggled to talk, but it exhausted my strength. I collapsed from my hands and knees and fell to my side. My eyes stayed open, but were slowly closing.

The figure cleared up a bit and I saw a familiar face from a distant summer.

"Gale…?" I breathed.

Gale was only an unlikely friend I had made last year because of a strange turn of events. We had already said goodbye, a goodbye I had believed to be permanent. A goodbye I had hated. But could Gale be here?

I couldn't keep my eyes open.

...

"Wah! I'm a cartoon again!" I exclaimed, looking at my hands. "But I'm also a girl!"

"What do you mean cartoon?" Gale huffed in irritation. "Also, could you stop hogging my couch?"

I sat up and said sheepishly, "Whoops, sorry!"

He just sighed and sat down beside me. I watched him as he stared at the fireplace with a frown. After a while, I poked his face.

He slapped my hand away and growled, "What are you doing?"

"Why're you in such a bad mood suddenly?" I huffed, crossing my arms. "I mean, you're _grumpier_ than usual."

"It's because you're being such an idiot," he retorted.

"What? You're the idiot!" I exclaimed, jumping up from the couch.

"C'mon, Lavender. The Anocti Ire," Gale said in a prompting voice. "It has already gone into your mind and is messing with you. Don't trust anyone while under its influence."

"Huh? Uh, how can I know when I'm under its influence?" I asked.

"Fog is its main theme, and it will disguise itself as someone closest to you since it does not have a physical appearance of its own," Gale described. "For now, you're in a deep state of sleep to temporarily protect yourself from its grasp, but once you're out of here, don't even trust me if you see me again."

I nodded. "So what should I do? Running away isn't exactly working."

"Keep imagining where you want to be without faltering. The Anocti Ire will try to trick you, make you believe you're where you want to be already, but keep your mind steeled and eventually you'll awaken again."

"Will I ever see you again? When I'm awake?"

"Haha, I'll always be here," he said, turning away as the room became slightly foggy.

"A-Alright, but how will I know when I'm truly awake?" I asked.

Gale and everything around me was fogging up again.

"You'll know," he said, his voice distant before everything whited out.

I shut my eyes from the whiteness and only saw darkness. Where I want to be… Where I want to be… Isn't that obvious? I want to be back at home…

…Right?

...

"Lavender!" Emil's voice shouted, jolting me awake.

"Emil!" I exclaimed, looking around in bewilderment.

The episode _The Legend of the Gobblewonker_ was playing on the T.V. in front of us. In the kitchen, I heard our parents having their fun little chat.

Emil lectured, "You can't fall asleep on the couch or your neck will get all stiff."

"Yeah, yeah."

I sat up and stretched.

While doing so, I heard Dipper saying in the T.V., "Stay away from the Anocti Ire. The figure in the mist can see into your mind and will play mind games with you."

I jumped up from the couch, just as Emil quickly closed the T.V.

"Hey! Turn the T.V. back on, Emil!" I demanded.

I wasn't awake yet, and the fog was setting in again even though we were inside the house. I want to go home! I want to go home!

I shut my eyes and repeated my want to go home over and over again. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting against the tree again in Scuttlebutt Island.

"Am I back?" I asked, looking around in bewilderment.

Again the figure was in front of me and I was already trying to run away. The figure grabbed my wrist and stopped me from running off.

"Calm down, Lavender! It's me!" Emil's voice said.

"Emil!" I sighed in relief turning back to him and taking in his presence happily.

I was about to grab his wrist so we wouldn't lose track of each other again but hesitated. This couldn't be Emil. Besides, how could we be in our own bodies while in Gravity Falls? I'm not awake yet!

I want to go home! I want to go home!

I was waking up and waking up in a continuous loop. Never again did I see Gale again, but I remembered his words to not let myself be tricked by the Anocti Ire.

During a new awakening, I was in Emil's house again. No matter how much I kept imagining myself at home, I was never getting there! Was Gale just another part of the Anocti Ire's trick? Am I forever going to be waking up in a never-ending loop?

Emil was trying to say something to me, but I didn't listen and just covered my face in my hands. Emil's strangely cold hand grabbed my wrist as he asked me what was wrong. I looked up at him, at his eyes. They were not Emil's eyes. They were dark like the night. Emil's grip on my wrist tightened when he noticed the look in my eyes change.

"You're the Anocti Ire! You are, aren't you?" I said.

I tried to pull away, but his cold, death grip kept hold and fog quickly covered everything around us. Emil faded back into a dark figure in the mist. I knew it was a futile effort to try pulling away even though the grip was painful.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

The figure used Emil's voice to say, "I feast upon the confusion and despair of you humans. I do not plan to kill you."

"So you've put me in eternal sleep?" I asked. "There is no confusion in my mind that I want to go home!"

My eyes widened slightly when I saw the figure smile. Suddenly, doubt filled me. Did I really want to go back home? If I really do, why haven't I yet? Why does the Anocti Ire only smile mockingly at my words?

I shook my head, trying to clear the doubtful voice from my head but to no avail. Shutting my eyes tight, I fell to my knees in despair. The cold hand still held my wrist.

"Emil…"

The cold hand disappeared, making my hand fall. The cold air around me became temperate. Cautiously, I opened my eyes, but the fog and figure was still there.

The figure, still using Emil's voice, said, "There is no confusion in where you want to be now."

It sounded like this was the figure's goal all along. To make me realize this.

"I will let you go. You will awaken again, but you will still be stuck in Gravity Falls. I can't do anything more, but tell you this: You and your friend are not in Gravity Falls by mere coincidence and you cannot go home by natural means. You will have to figure out a way back, otherwise be stuck here forever."

...

"Ugh," I grunted as I got up.

"Dude, you're okay!" Soos said when he saw me sitting up.

"Dipper!" Mabel's voice exclaimed. "The Gobblewonker is chasing after us! Where do we go?"

I quickly sat up and saw we were already back in Soos's boat and heading right into a waterfall. "Go through the waterfall! I think there might be a cave back there!"

"Might be!?" Mabel shouted in panic.

With a big splash, we passed through the falls into the cave and landed harshly onto the land. The Gobblewonker barged through too, but got stuck in the entrance.

"It's stuck!" Mabel exclaimed happily, pulling out her camera to take a picture. She then hesitated.

"What is it?" I asked.

Mabel frowned and it was then that I remembered it was actually Emil in there. He stuffed his camera back into his pocket. "It's not worth it. I mean, it's just a robot."

Just then, a rock crashed down on the head, making it fall down with an electric noise.

"But isn't it still something that could be entered into the contest?" I asked.

He smiled at me and said, "Well, I think we're better off wasting film with a better monster: You know, Grunkle Stan. We really don't need the money.

And so, we – or rather, just Soos – learned Old Man McGucket had been behind the whole Gobblewonker ordeal. We went back over to Grunkle Stan and let the family-bonding commence.

Once we were home, we were all tired and immediately went to our rooms to get ready for bed.

When we were in our room, I looked in my journal at the figure in the fog.

"You still not tired enough to sleep yet?" Emil asked in surprise, his hand on the lamp, ready to close it.

"Um, wait just a second," I said as I flipped through the journal.

Even though I felt like a lot happened, all I could remember was that I had seen the figure in the fog then woke up back on the boat with Soos and Emil. Something was bugging me.

I then found a familiar page also about the figure in the fog.

_Stay away from the Anocti Ire. The figure in the mist can see into your mind and will play mind games with you. Originally, this was what I had thought and what it wanted me to think, but before I forget everything about this enigmatic being, I must let it be known that the Anocti Ire is actually something of good intentions. I unfortunately forget already what it has done for me, but I know it has helped me._

I stared at the page as the image of a figure in the mist became only a mist. Nonetheless, I smiled.


	4. Headhunters

Chapter Four: Headhunters

I lied down sideways on the armchair while Emil sat leaning on it on the ground watching _Ducktective_. In my hand, I held above me a can of beans.

"You know the cost of this adventure, right?" I asked the can of beans. I then said in a lower voice, pretending to be someone else, "Yes. I do… My life."

Glancing at Emil, I saw him staring at me with a look of bewilderment. "Why're you talking to a can of beans?"

I set the can down on the ground, laughing. "I was bored! Can't a person talk to themselves or inanimate objects once in a while?"

"Hm, I guess so," Emil shrugged. "You're weird."

I whacked him in the back of the head and huffed, "C'mon! I like to think that I'm unique!"

"Just like everyone else," Emil added with a grin.

He began laughing loudly, smacking his leg several times. I tried to glare at him, but ended up bursting into laughter too when he began trying to explain why what he said was funny.

"It's funny…snrk, because it contradicts you! Unique…just like everyone else! Hahaha!"

"Don't try to explain yourself, dude! You're making it lame!"

Soos came into the room just as our laughter died down and said, "Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!"

I sat up and asked, "What is it?"

"Is it something mythical?" Emil questioned eagerly.

Soos led us to a door and said, "So I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!"

Soos opened the door to reveal a room filled with wax figures.

Emil and I froze. "Ugh, creepy," I remarked as we entered.

I then turned to Emil and said, "You know the cost of this adventure right?"

Emil turned to me with an equally forced seriousness and responded with a low voice, "Yes. I do… My life."

Our serious expression immediately broke into laughter.

Suddenly one of the wax figures standing near us said loudly, "Hello!"

Emil and I let out a scream of surprise.

"Haha, it's just me! You're Grunkle Stan!" the figure chuckled.

Emil grabbed onto my shoulder to balance himself. "One day, I'm going to have a heart attack from all this."

After putting light into the room, Grunkle Stan announced, "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions… before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Ghangis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man."

I didn't like that I knew these wax figures could come to life. I wanted to get out quickly. Emil showed the same feelings as me through his uncomfortable glances around the room.

"Lavender," Emil murmured to me so no one else could hear, "I have no idea how to sculpt wax figures."

"Yeah, we're going to have to just…" I glanced at all the figures then whispered even quieter, "ill-kay the igures-fay."

Emil covered his mouth.

"At least before they attempt to do so to Grunkle Stan since no wax figure will be in his place," I explained.

Grunkle Stan had just finished mourning for Wax Abraham Lincoln. Emil and I exchanged glances.

After we all left the room, Emil and I got ready our weapons which were just matches and candlesticks.

"Are you ready to commit murder?" I asked with a low voice.

"What? No!" Emil exclaimed. "Gosh, Lavender… You are ruining my image of Dipper."

"Then, we're even. You're nothing like Mabel," I commented.

"It would seem we were not careful enough to conceal our intentions against you children," Sherlock said from behind us.

We turned around to see the army of wax figures looming over us.

"I must admit, you're both very clever to have seen through us so quickly, but I'm afraid we'll have to kill Stan _and_ you two to keep you quiet."

"Gyah, run, Emil, run!" I exclaimed as he hurried outside. The figures chased after us. Some melted in the sun, but since the clouds covered the sun somewhat, they were able to make it into the shade of trees and continue running after us.

"Come back here, you brats!" Sherlock shouted. "Do you really think you can outwit me? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass? It's enormous!"

"You do know you let half of your army melt by running outside after us?" I pointed out.

Emil got out some decorative candles and ran back.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I exclaimed.

He took the rest of the wax figures by surprise and he cut them all in half with a loud shout and swing of his candlestick.

"Haha!" he shouted out triumphantly, stepping on Wax Sherlock Holmes' back. "That was easier than I thought. Let's hurry out of these creepy woods before people see us."

"That really was no fun at all," I remarked as we were walking back. "And it kind of sucks we don't get to meet Dipper and Mabel. I mean, no offense, but we already know what's going to happen throughout the first season of this show so we're boring compared to the actual Dipper and Mabel."

"C'mon, Lavender. It's not like we exist to entertain an audience or something," Emil snorted. "We were protecting Grunkle Stan and we still need to find a way home. Getting back is our ultimate goal."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Ugh, these woods creep me out," Emil said with a shudder. "It feels like we're being watched."

"I know, I feel the same. Let's hurry."

Suddenly there was rustling nearby.

"The wax figures?" Emil asked, brandishing the decorative candles, but the figures had all melted. More rustling happened all around us.

"Emil," I squeaked fearfully, grabbing hold of his sweater.

It sucked that I was in a guy's body so I felt lame for grabbing onto the girl. Either way, Emil stayed protectively beside me.

An army of tiny elf-like beings began jumping out of the bushes and trees and surrounded us. They all looked up at us with inquisitive and wide eyes.

Emil and I exchanged a look of surprise and delight.

"You guys look so cute!" I commented, bending over to pet one of them.

The little guy's pointed ears twitched a little then curiously grabbed my hand from off its head so it could examine my large hand.

Emil laughed a little.

"Hey, who are you two?" a deep voice sounded.

We both looked up to see an elf much taller than the others and even Emil and I. He had pale skin and a beautiful, long face and well-defined features. His intense blue eyes stared at us and made my heart beat loudly.

"I'm in love," I said, my voice cracking. I then covered my mouth with a blush. "Uh, I-I'm Lav…err, Dipper. Just Dipper. Dipper."

"Mabel," Emil said curtly, squeezing my wrist.

The elf man nodded to both of us and said, "Hello, Dipper and Mabel. Why have you come into this part of the forest?"

"We were just walking. Didn't know we came into your territory. We'll leave soon," Emil said, tugging at my wrist. "C'mon, let's go."

"No, it's quite alright," the elf said, raising a hand to stop us. "My name is Rhovanen."

"Rhovanen," I repeated. "Nice to meet you."

"A pleasure," he responded.

He then seemed to speak a different tongue to the little elves, making them all stop crowding around us and run off.

"Sorry about them. Let us walk. I am curious about you humans for I have never spoken to one," Rhovanen said as he gestured us over.

"O-Okay!" I responded happily, my voice cracking again. I cleared my throat nervously.

He smiled at me and said, "You are of the male gender?"

I blinked and was about to shake my head, but then I remembered I was in Dipper's body and nodded.

He took my hat off and examined it. "But you're so adorable."

Emil still had a hold of my wrist and when he suddenly tugged it, I turned to him questioningly. He made a grossed-out expression.

I looked back at Rhovanen. He met my eyes and kissed my hat before putting it back on my head. I realized why Emil was freaked out. Rhovanen seemed to be flirting with me even though we're both guys. Although, I'm a girl on the inside, Rhovanen wouldn't know that.

"We should probably be heading back soon," I said, wiping the spot where he kissed my hat before putting it back on.

He seemed to notice that I was disturbed immediately and said with an even more 'soothing' voice, "You will be brought back safely. I just want to have a short walk with you."

I turned away, feeling even more disturbed.

"Our caretaker is such a worrywart. We should really be getting back," I said quickly, turning to leave.

Suddenly the elf wrapped his arms around me in a hug, pulling me off the ground. My face went pale. He had turned from completely charming to completely creepy.

I waved around my legs in my struggle to get away as I shouted, "Let go!"

"Hey! Let her go, you creep!" Emil shouted, trying to pull his arms off of me.

"Strange," the elf murmured. "Why does my magic not work on you?"

"Wh-What?"

"Unless…You both have magic cast on you already," he stated in realization as he set me back down.

"Huh?"

"It must be strong magic too if I couldn't break through it," Rhovanen continued murmuring to himself.

"Explain yourself already!" Emil snapped.

"I have the power to charm people," he said with a shrug. "It's pretty strong too, but if magic stronger than mine is already affecting a person, I can't charm them. Anyways, you two seem to be in a predicament I don't want to be a part of. Laters."

He flicked my hat off my head before disappearing into the trees.

"What was that?" Emil exclaimed. "He just suddenly became all arrogant!"

I picked up my hat and stared at it, feeling troubled. "He said we're under some magic or something. Do you think it's what trapped us in Dipper and Mabel's bodies?"

"Hm, I don't know. Maybe," Emil said.

"I'm going to read through the journal again once we get back and see if we can get any clues related to our case," I informed. "I don't think what's happening to us is related to the plotline of Gravity Falls itself."

Emil nodded.

"Let's head back."


	5. The Hand That Rocks the Dipper

Chapter Five: The Hand That Rocks the Dipper

"Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about," Soos said.

I looked up from the journal and blinked in surprise when I saw the commercial about Gideon and the Tent of Telepathy. Emil just went pale.

"We're not going," Emil said brusquely.

"Good," Grunkle Stan said gruffly as he walked in. "Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble."

"We're going," I said to Emil.

"Never!" Grunkle Stan huffed. "You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!"

"We're going," I repeated when he was gone.

...

"Looks like you're about to get your next boyfriend. Darn, you're so much more experienced with dating boys than me, Emil," I teased, elbowing him.

He frowned. "Why do I have to do this?"

"I haven't really found anything useful in my journal. We need to get involved with Gideon to get our hands on his journal," I explained.

"What you dudes talkin' about?" Soos asked, leaning into our private conversation.

"Just thought it was pretty interesting how they have their own Soos too," I said pointing over to the maintenance worker Deuce.

Soos narrowed his eyes at the worker. We found some seats and sat down just as the show was starting.

"I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, 'aw,'" Gideon was saying.

Gideon gave the crowd a cute face, making them go 'aw' just as he predicted. Emil crossed his arms and scoffed. I elbowed him and hissed, "Just enjoy the show, man!"

Gideon then did his little dancing and singing and afterwards everyone cheered except for Emil who only gave a cold stare to Gideon when he guessed Emil's name was Mabel during the song.

"Heheh, Li'l Gideon's hair is amazing to look at when up close!" I remarked with a laugh. "And did you see his dance moves? Haha, great!"

"I can tell you were very amused. Why don't _you_ date the kid?" Emil snorted, elbowing me playfully.

"Hey, don't even joke about that!" I laughed, giving back a playful push. "Let's hurry back to the shack before Stan realizes we were gone."

...

"Okay, at least Mabel didn't express romantic interest in Gideon in the episode. Just be friendly, let him fall in love. I'll come to the rescue," I reassured once we were back.

"Hey, why don't we go get that one experiment carpet and switch bodies? It's a bit early to discover it, but I do not want to be doing all this romance stuff with the same gender. I'm straight."

"How do you know you're straight, huh?" I challenged, crossing my arms.

"Because I already like –" He blinked a few times at me before turning away, his cheeks reddening.

"Oh, oh, oh! You have a girl you like!" I squealed, hitting his arm a bunch until he pushed my face away. "Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?" I said, my voice slightly muffled by his hand.

"Shut up, Lavender!" he exclaimed in embarrassment.

The doorbell rang, making us both jump.

As I got up to answer the door, I said to him, "Well, lucky for you, Gideon's totally like a girl. You'll be fine. Just be normal."

I opened the door and looked down at Gideon.

"Howdy," he greeted.

"Hey! Li'l Gideon!" I said with a smile.

"Haha, yeah. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head," Gideon admitted.

I blinked a few times then laughed nervously. "Haha, what? You're talking to my sister Mabel right? She's over there… I mean, when I laugh, my voice just cracks a bunch…"

"Oh no, I mean you! Now, when I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, 'Now there's a kindred spirit!' Truly enchanting."

I bit my lip and tried to ignore Emil's snickering from behind.

"Thanks, you're really nice," I said, looking to the side to avoid his gaze.

"Who's at the door?" Stan called from inside the shack.

"Uh, no one, Grunkle Stan!" I called back "Okay, you should leave before he comes."

"I appreciate your disgression. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet."

You've gotta be kidding me.

"Ha! You're kidding!" I forced a smile and pushed him roughly, pretending to be playful but honestly wanting to get him away.

He stumbled back a bit, but after gathering himself, he said, "What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more? Perhaps in my dressing room?"

"Uh, nah. I'm good. Not really into the whole makeover thing, man," I said politely.

"I insist," Gideon said.

I glanced back at Emil who smirked at me and gestured for me to go already.

"Uh, fine. Whatever, man."

...

Gideon brought me over to his dressing room and opened the door. I stared in amazement and bewilderment.

"How…pink," I stated.

"Ya see somethin' you like? 'Cause I do…" Gideon said, side-glancing at me.

"It's your dressing room, man," I said, turning to the other side. "Makes sense that you like it…but uh…do you actually ever _wear_ any of this cra – err, stuff?"

Gideon didn't seem to be paying attention and began showing me around his dressing room.

...

"Emil," I growled as I walked over to him. "My nails are…annoyingly shiny. My hair feels unnatural without a hat… Also, I'm sorry."

Emil jumped up from the couch at my sudden apology. "Are you okay?"

He let me sit down as I recounted my plights. "I now understand that I shouldn't tease you so much and force you to do things you don't want to. No more dating guys for you once we get to that body transfer carpet."

"Eh? But what about you?" Emil asked.

"Mabel crushed on some pretty cool guys," I shrugged. "I might actually like 'em too, you never know."

Emil frowned and said, "Never mind the body-switching. I can handle this."

"Okay. But man, this is crazy. Gideon likes me even though I'm in Dipper's body? It's like this is some sort of crazy fanfic made by some unstable person that needs mental help, y'know?" I huffed.

Soos then walked in with some hot dogs and said to Emil, "Hey hambone, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?"

"Seriously? Let's do it!" I exclaimed, running over to the kitchen with Soos while Emil shouted his disapproval.

...

"Now, isn't the view from my family's factory great? You got your opera glasses?" Gideon asked.

"I'm scared of heights," I informed with a frown. "And wearing the opera glasses will make me dizzier than I already am."

Gideon didn't seem sure how to respond so he just went on with whatever else he wanted to say. "Dipper, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm the king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!"

"I'm a dude."

"We're both kings," Gideon said, smiling at me.

"Man, that's weird. Stop it," I muttered.

"I can't stop it. I am speaking from the heart," Gideon confessed.

First the elf man and now Gideon! I'm just too charming! Wish I could be flattered too.

"Dipper, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close. Heheh," Gideon said as he reached out to touch my hair.

I slapped his hand away then said, "Um, oh sorry. Spotted a bug on your hand there. It's dead now. Anyways, I'm a dude so…"

Gideon, after checking if the supposed dead bug was still on his hand, reached out to me again only to have his hand slapped away again.

"There are a lot of bugs around, huh?" I remarked, referring to Gideon himself. "Right, so I think we're good as just friends, Gideon. First of all, I'm a guy."

"At least just give me a chance. Dipper, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"This is so bad," I muttered out loud without meaning to.

Gideon was unfazed by the comment and continued to stare at me expectantly. "It'll just be one lil' ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo-tie."

"Wouldn't your reputation go down if society knew you were gay though? I don't have anything against homos but…yeah…"

I used to be quite the homophobe though, so I can't exactly accept this easily. I may be a girl on the inside, but Gideon doesn't even know that!

"You don't need worry about that! Dipper Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!"

Gideon didn't go for a hug like I had thought, but he did grab both my hands tightly.

After a while I asked in disgust, "Are you groping my hands?"

...

"I cannot believe I made Gideon gay," I sighed, putting an icepack on my forehead and lying down on the armchair.

"I'm sorry you have to go through all this," Emil said sympathetically. "Gideon must be way worse than the gnomes."

The doorbell rang. Emil offered to go answer the door then let out a shout of surprise as a horse neighed and walked in with Gideon atop.

"A night of enchantment awaits! Oh my, sorry, m'lady. Where's Dipper?"

I let out a sigh.

...

"Boy, that horse sure is distracting," I commented.

"I was able to get it in 'cause people just have a hard time saying no to me," Gideon said as he put his legs on the table.

"Ah, monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!" the waiter complimented.

"Jean Luc, what did he discuss about eye contact?" Gideon asked.

The waiter looked away, responding, "Yes, yes, very good!"

I looked at all the different forks unhappily.

Emil

"Hey, hey! What the jackal is Dipper doing in the paper, holding hands with that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" Stan asked.

Wendy laughed. "Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal! Everybody's talking about the big date tonight! But man! Haha, the fact that they're both dudes is just awesome!"

"What?!" Stan shouted. "That little shyster is dating my great nephew!? What does he even see in Dipper?"

Stan quickly left the shack.

"I wonder what the new name will be for the new couple," Soos said. "Dipideon? Gidipper? Digidpereon?"

It'd be funnier if it were me. Make it Belleon! Or wait – was it Magidbelleon or make it Belleon?

I laughed a little.

Either way, it sounds funnier.

Lavender

"…And so I said, 'Autograph your own head shot lady!' Ahaha!"

I wasn't even paying attention anymore. The lobster suddenly moved though, making me let out a scream of surprise.

"Dipper, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way! Hark! What a surprise! A red-crested South American rainbow macaw!"

The macaw flew in and landed on Gideon's shoulder. It then requested I accompany him to the ballroom dance. Everyone looked our way curiously, but no one really crowded around like they had in the actual episode.

"They're expectin' us. Please say you'll go."

"Uh, no…"

Suddenly people began murmuring all around. Some were calling me heartless.

"…way I can't go!" I immediately added.

...

"You didn't bring back the lobster?" Emil asked when I came back.

"The lobster?" I said, raising an eyebrow at him. "No, lobsters freak me out."

"Aw," Emil frowned.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't just care about the lobster and give me some mental support here," I sighed.

"Why don't you just break it off?" Emil asked. "Seriously, the newspapers are only concentrating on the fact that you're both boys. It'll all end once you end it."

...

After the next date ended, I grabbed both of Emil's shoulders tightly, looking down at the ground.

"Are you alright?" Emil asked worriedly. "Did you end it?"

"I was too weirded out to even remember that. I just wanted to get away. It's time to end this," I said, looking up at Emil. "Will you end it for me?"

"What? You know what'll happen if I try to do that! He'll try to kill me, thinking I'm trying to separate you from him against your will," Emil huffed.

"Great news, Dipper! You have to stay together with Gideon!"

"No way!" I shouted.

"C,mon! It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I got this shirt," Stan said, showing off his 'Team Gideon' shirt. "Ugh, I am fat."

"I don't get why you don't just break it off already," Emil shrugged.

"Meh, I was going with the flow until I remembered that I'm not you," I responded, also shrugging.

Emil frowned. I snickered at him little before leaving to the restaurant.

"Gideon! I –"

"no longer want to date you," Mabel's voice finished.

I turned to Emil in surprise.

"I don't understand," Gideon said, his eye twitching.

"I like girls!" I declared, watching Emil from my side-view look at me in shock. "Like, cute girls. Not guys or even guys who look like girls. So, uh, there it is. Sorry. But hey, we're still friends! Catch you later, man."

As we were leaving, Emil nudged my shoulder and asked, "What was all that about liking girls? Were you for real?"

I laughed and pushed him away. "I did that just to see your reaction! I'm totally straight!"

Emil laughed, punching me lightly in the shoulder. "I can't believe you said that!"

"Why did you even come along?"

"I wasn't sure if you'd be able to handle breaking up with him alone, you know, in case he went crazy over it or something," Emil answered in a hushed voice.

Unbeknownst to us, Gideon narrowed his eyes at us and whispered, "Catch you later, indeed…"

"We never destroyed that magical amulet of his," I commented when we were back at the shack. "Won't that be a problem in the future?"

"But you guys are still friends," Emil pointed out. "It ended on a good note. In the actual episode, they ended as enemies."

"We did good."

"We did well," Emil corrected.

"I meant it like, we did a good thing," I explained.

"Oh, okay then."

...

Once Soos tucked the pillow under his shirt, Emil and I both tackled him, bouncing off easily. Emil and I laughed and as we were getting back up to try again, the telephone rang. We then exchanged glances of surprise.

"I'll answer it," Emil said, hurrying over to pick up the phone. "Dipper! It's for you!"

I went over, seeing Emil and I mirrored a puzzled expression to each other.

"It's Toby Determined," he notified, handing over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper."

"Yeah, I got that. Listen sorry for…accusing you of murder, last week."

"What?"

"Oh, right, didn't do that! Never mind, never mind. What were you saying?"

"Say, we want to interview you about whether you've seen anything unusual about this here town since you've arrived."

I looked over to Emil with a frown.

"Um, no. I don't think I have seen anything unusual about Gravity Falls since I've arrived," I answered.

"Huh? Oh…I see," Toby replied in confusion.

I quickly hung up the phone and exclaimed, "I don't understand! Why does Gideon want to secretly meet up with me again?"

The phone rang again. Emil bit his lip, but just stared at it.

I answered it again, "Look, I don't really like interviews –"

"Oh, Dipper! What a delight to hear your voice!" Gideon's voice said from the phone.

I blinked in surprise. "Oh, Gideon. What is it?"

"Now, I know you don't like me romantically, but I was wonderin' if you'd meet me at 412 Gopher Road. I just wanna have a talk. A _friendly_ talk."

"Uh, why? Talk about what?"

Gideon giggled. "That's for you to find out."

He then hung up. I put the phone down then said to Emil, "You don't think he's going to try to kill me, do you?"

"But he didn't try to kill Mabel in the show," Emil pointed out.

When I went over to the place, Gideon swiveled around in a chair and greeted me. "Dipper Pines. How long have you been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?"

"Get to the point."

"Listen carefully, boy. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!"

"Are you going to tell me about 'em? The secrets?" I asked.

"I'll let you in on one. Readin' minds isn't all I can do," he said, grabbing hold of his amulet.

I was then pulled off the ground. "Whoa! Hey, quit it! Why are you doing this?"

"I realized somethin' while you and your sister broke us up. You're just a weak little boy! Mabel on the other hand… I know you're going to try getting in the way, but your sister will be mine!" Gideon laughed evilly.

He then threw me down. I landed in a pile of merchandise with a grunt.

"She's never gonna date you, man!" I shouted.

"That's a lie. And I'm going to make sure you never lie to me again, friend," he said as he had scissors float dangerously close to me.

I scrambled to get away, but he made me levitate.

"I'm here!" Emil shouted, his voice echoing throughout the warehouse. "Sorry, I got worried and…Dipper! Stop, Gideon!"

"Mabel!" Gideon cried out in surprise.

Emil immediately jumped for the amulet and snatched it away from him. I fell onto the ground, quickly moving out of the way of the falling shears.

"My tie! Give it back!" Gideon shouted.

Emil threw it onto the ground and crushed it under his foot.

"My powers!" Gideon shouted. "Oh, this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle…ol' me!" Gideon slowly backed into a dark corner of the warehouse, unaware that we could still see him as he stood there waiting.

"That was quick," I remarked to Emil as I dusted myself off.

Back at the shack, Stan came in with a sigh and put up the clown painting. "I coulda had it all." He then looked at us and asked, "What happened to you two?"

"Gideon," we both sighed.

"Gideon," Stan repeated gruffly. "Yeah, the little mutant 'swore vengeance' on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'."

Emil and I laughed.

"Or his hair will swallow us whole!" I added. "With all the hairspray he uses, we'll probably die of that before we're even swallowed."

"Uh oh. He's plannin' on destruction right now!" Grunkle Stan hollered as he jumped on top of us both.

"Haha, stop! You're heavy!" I wheezed.

The joking went on for a while and eventually we all had to get ready for bed.


	6. The Inconveniencing

Chapter Six: The Inconveniencing

**At one point in this chapter, I use a song from The World of Gumball (The Stalker Song), but it doesn't matter if you don't know what that show is. I just wanted to make a disclaimer.**

"Bleh, I gotta get out of the habit of chewing my pencil," I muttered as I spit out the eraser I accidentally chewed off.

"Gross. Oh, you're reading over that journal again?" Emil asked.

"There's a lot of stuff in here that hasn't been shown in the show yet," I said. "And I like rereading interesting stuff."

Stan came in to let us know he was heading out. Once he was gone, Wendy went over and unveiled a curtain to reveal a ladder. "Hey guys! What's this? A secret ladder to the roof?"

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that," Soos said nervously.

Wendy showed her palm to Soos. "Huh?"

"Uhhh."

"Huuuuuh?"

"You're freaking me out, dude!"

"Oh, cool. We going up there?" I asked.

"Aren't you afraid of heights?" Emil asked me.

"What?" I huffed, but my voice cracked. "No, I'm not! Pshh."

I quickly followed Wendy up the ladder. Emil stayed close behind.

"Alright, check it out!" Wendy said, walking over to her stuff on the roof.

"Whoa, it's like a little home up here," I remarked.

Wendy replied, "I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, every day." She then picked up a pinecone and threw it at a target on the totem pole. "Yes!"

"Nice one!" I said, getting some pinecones to throw too. Dipper's arms were scrawny and weak though, so none of them even got close to the totem pole before falling.

Emil tried a few throws too, but was just as weak as me. One of his throws then hit the car, making the car alarm go off.

He cringed and looked ready to panic, but Wendy then exclaimed, "Jackpot! Hi-five!"

"Uh, thanks," Emil said, smiling a little as he hi-fived with Wendy.

A car then pulled up.

"Oh, hey, it's my friends!"

One of her friends waved and called out her name.

Wendy looked at us and asked, "Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?"

I zipped my lips with my fingers and threw the pretend key away like they did in the show since I found the gesture quite cute. Wendy did the same thing then slid down the trees to get to the car.

"Wendy is really cool," I commented as the car drove away.

"Uh…yeah."

I turned to Emil and saw him staring in the direction Wendy had left with her friends.

I narrowed my eyes then crossed my arms and sighed loudly, "Too bad she's only a cartoon so she doesn't exist back at home."

"Uh, yeah. That's too bad," Emil said distractedly.

I then shook his shoulders and exclaimed, "You can't have a crush on her for various reasons!"

"I know that!" he shouted back. "What's your problem? I know that this is a cartoon and I'm in Mabel's body and look twelve years old. But you know a lot of episodes happened because of Dipper's crush on Wendy."

"Yeah, I get that. It made for some great character growth. So you leave it up to me to be Dipper and you continue attempting to be Mabel."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Emil."

"What?"

"I'm about ready to faint." I then wobbled a bit as my legs started giving out underneath me.

"Lavender!" he exclaimed, grabbing hold of me as I lost my balance from vertigo. "Argh, so you really are scared of heights!"

...

"Emil, I just realized, I don't know the Lamby Dance like Dipper does," I said as I walked in. I then noticed Wendy there who seemed to have been talking with Emil.

Emil looked away, his cheeks reddening.

"Emil? Lamby Dance?" Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow. "You half-asleep?"

"Yeah," I said, face-palming and shaking my head. "I uh, had a dream I was a different person, friends with myself and Mabel whose name was Emil in my dream."

Wendy laughed. "That sounds confusing. What was it like being friends with yourself?"

"It was great, actually," I replied. "I'm like a total fan of Dipper now."

"Cool, let me in on this fan club," Wendy joked.

I then noticed Emil writing something down on a clipboard. "What are you doing, Mabel?"

Emil jumped a little then looked down at his clipboard. "Uh, nothing. Just taking inventory…or something."

Wendy quirked an eyebrow at him. "Aw, work? Boooo!"

Emil looked away in embarrassment. Wendy patted his back. "It's just a joke. Don't take it personally."

The clock then cuckooed, making us all pause.

"Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! The gang's waiting for me," Wendy said as she began walking towards the exit.

"Hey, wait. How about Mabel and I tag along?" I suggested.

"Ooh, I don't know," Wendy said uneasily. "My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are?"

"We're uh, thirteen," I replied. "Technically a teen."

"All right. I like your moxy, kid! Let me get my stuff." Wendy then left to do as she said.

"Moxy? Do you know what that word means?" I asked, turning to Emil.

"Lavender! Didn't you just say you don't know the Lamby Dance?" Emil hissed. "What will you do when the ghosts ask that of you? You should've not said anything!"

"Well then they would be locked in the convenience store," I pointed out. "I'll figure something out."

"Yeah, but Dipper saved the gang by being a kid. We, on the other hand, are actually thirteen! Technically teens in case you forgot!" Emil said, flailing his arms.

"Calm down! We _look_ like kids and I personally think I still act like a kid so we're all good," I reassured.

"We could just not go, actually," Emil said more thoughtfully. "They couldn't get into the convenience store at first, right? You remember that? But it was Dipper who got them in."

"Even without Dipper, I'm sure they probably would've found some way in," I shrugged.

Emil frowned but didn't say anymore since he seemed to already understand I wasn't going to be changing my mind about going.

...

"Hey guys!" Wendy said to her friends. "These are my pals from work. Dipper, and Mabel."

I raised a hand. "Hi."

Emil just nodded to them.

"So are you, like, babysitting, or –" Robbie started.

"Come on, Robbie!" Wendy said, rolling her eyes then she introduced her friends to us.

When she came to Robbie, he said, trying to sound cool, "Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower."

I looked over at the water tower. "Nice. Like a big muffin."

"Um, it's a giant explosion," Robbie corrected.

We all looked at the water tower. Their friends then agreed with me and laughed. Robbie shot a glare at me.

"Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight!" Wendy exclaimed.

In the car, I whispered to Emil, "You gotta cross out the 'You stink!' to 'You look nice today.'"

"What? Oh… Why would you remember that?" Emil responded.

"I find it hilarious!" I reached into his pocket and surprisingly found a marker.

"Stop it!" Emil huffed, struggling to push me away as I reached over him to write it myself. "Lav – Dipper!"

"Don't be a stick in the mud! You brought the marker along for a reason right? You planned on doing it too!" I scoffed, giving up.

I crossed my arms and looked away in irritation.

"Hey," Emil started.

"Hmph!" I turned away even more.

Emil then grabbed the marker from me. I turned to him to grab for it back, but he then crossed out the 'You stink!' and wrote in 'You look nice today!'

He capped the marker and stuffed it into his sweater. "Happy?"

"Heh, man, sometimes you're pretty gullible. I wasn't _that_ mad," I teased.

Emil frowned then turned away, not letting me see his face.

...

"There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!" Wendy announced as we went up to the fence.

"Ha! Cool!"

"Wow!" Wendy exclaimed. "This place is amazing!"

Robbie tried to open the door, grunting, "I think it's, it's stuck!"

I wasn't exactly paying attention until Emil nudged me with his shoulder.

"Oh! Uh, right! I'll get the door open," I said as I ran around the dumpster and jumped onto it.

"Hey, be careful!" Emil called.

I got to the vent and tried pulling the cover off. When that didn't work, I tried punching it. I dented it, but it was surprisingly hard to punch it off since Dipper had really weak arms.

I eventually got in and opened the door for everyone.

"Good call inviting this little maniac!" Lee laughed.

"Your new name is Dr. Fun Times!"

Wendy gave me a light punch as she passed. "Nice work."

Emil asked, "Are you okay? It looked pretty hard getting that vent open."

"That punch gave my hand a bruise," I complained as we walked in.

Everyone murmured to each other as we all walked around the creepy, dark isles. Wendy came up to the light switch and called, "Guys, check it out! You think these still work?"

She flipped them all on and slowly the store lights flickered on.

"What do we do now?" I asked to Emil since I forgot what happened next.

"Anything we want," Wendy replied.

"Hey, should I try out the Smile Dip?" Emil asked, pointing over at the pile.

I punched him lightly and said, "I dare you!"

Suddenly I got hit in the face with a balloon full of some substance of food. I wiped it off and threatened jokingly, "Who threw that!"

I ran over to join the food fight.

At some point, Emil who was eating Smile Dip rather cheerily, Wendy, and I sat on top of a shelf with ice pops.

"Dipper, this night is like, legendary," Wendy commented.

"Hm?"

"Just look around. The guys are bonding; I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long; and your sister is going nuts with that Smile Dip."

I leaned forward to take a look at Emil only to realize he had fallen off the shelf and was running on the ground sideways in a circle. His eyes were wide open and super dilated.

After staring for a bit, Wendy turned back to me and said, "You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you and your sister could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age."

I blinked. Dipper's goal had been to get this compliment. I had been thinking I was acting childish the whole time.

"Wow, thanks."

"Hey guys! We need more ice!" Lee said.

I glanced at Wendy who didn't seem like she was going to be getting off the shelf soon so I volunteered myself and walked over to the ice freezer. Just as I reached for the handle, I remembered the creepy brain monster Dipper had seen in the cooler. I hesitated. That monster was never actually explained, was it?

I shook my head. I wasn't going to just go back and say, 'Oh, I was afraid of the brain monster in the cooler so I didn't get the ice.' They would only think me crazy.

I opened the freezer and got a bag of ice. I was closing the door when I saw it. The eyes rolled forwards and looked at me, coming up close. A scream forced its way out of my throat and I immediately closed the door.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here."

Nate asked, "You freakin' out, kid?"

I blinked a few times to recollect myself. Even though I had been expecting it, seeing it right in front of me like that scared the living daylights out of me.

Slightly shaken, I just shook my head.

"Then what's all this about?" Robbie scoffed, pointing at the bag of spilled ice. I hadn't even noticed I had dropped the bag.

"It was surprisingly cold and so it slipped out of my hand," I huffed.

Tomson then seemed to notice the dance machine and said, "Hey guys! It's a dance machine!"

The teens looked and decided to go play on it. I followed after them.

After a while of watching Tomson attempt the game, Wendy nudged me and remarked, "Wow. He's really terrible at this."

"Haha," I let out half-heartedly.

I quickly tired of watching the teen dance so I hurried over to Emil who was sitting and staring into space.

"Emil, I think it's time we somehow get everyone out of the convenience store. I don't know any kid dances, and I'm a little freaked out right now."

I grabbed Emil's shoulder, but his eyes showed he was off in another land.

"Darn it. Why did you have to go and eat the Smile Dip?" I sighed, dragging him away from the Smile Dip shelf.

"Whoa guys, you might wanna see this," Robbie said.

Everyone gathered around to look at the body tracings.

Robbie said to Lee, "Dude, I dare you to lie down in it."

"Not cool, guys," I said disapprovingly, shaking my head. "Making fun of the dead, shame, shame."

Nate snorted, "Really? This guy's scared!"

"I'm not. C'mon, we should probably get out of this place now," I said, trying to sound reasonable.

They all began to boo me.

Robbie sneered, "Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill!"

"Hey, don't call me that!" I huffed at him angrily.

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill! Right?" Robbie retorted, looking back at the others.

They nodded and even Wendy reluctantly agreed.

Tambry then said aloud her text, "Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year-old."

"Are you serious? You guys are the ones that act like a bunch of kids!" I bristled, my hands clenching into fists. I looked down at the markings then sighed. "Fine."

They all looked at me, wondering what I was about to do. Even Tambry looked up from her phone.

I then said, "Tomson, go lie down in it."

Robbie then stepped forward and said, "No, no, I think _you_ should go lie down in it. But I guess you can't since you _are_ Captain Buzzkill, huh?"

"C'mon, Robbie," Wendy frowned. "He's just a kid."

Feeling annoyed, I flattened out on one of the tape markings, and when nothing happened, I got back up, gave them a look said 'nothing happened,' and stomped over to the isle where I left Emil.

The markings then began to glow.

The first to dissolve was Tambry. As everyone freaked out, more of the group dissolved and reappeared in some other horrific place.

Emil was then picked up, but other than that, nothing else happened. I stared in confusion. Emil was shaken around a bit then finally they put him back down and spoke without him.

"Welcome."

We all screamed.

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers."

Wendy exclaimed, "We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!"

The ghosts dissolved the rest of the teens except for Wendy, Robbie, and me. The store was turned upside down.

"Welcome to your home for all eternity!"

I climbed out from my hiding spot and shouted at the air, "Hey! I'm only twelve! I'm not a teen!"

The ghosts then revealed themselves and the old man said, "Well, why didn't you say so?"

They recounted what happened to them at the fault of horrible teenagers.

"I sympathize, but I uh, I guess I care about these people! What is there that I can do so that you'll release us? I don't know any dances, by the way," I notified.

"That's exactly what we want you to do! Otherwise, you'll stay here forever!"

I began to sweat. I didn't know the Lamby Dance or the tune or anything!

"There must be something else!" I practically begged. "Please!"

The old man ghost lit himself on fire, bellowing, "NOOO!"

"Okay! Calm down! I…Just let me think of something," I said, my voice shaking.

I knew I had nothing. Shutting my eyes, I planned to wait until the ghosts tired of waiting and send me to my demise. This wasn't any fun at all, being in Dipper's body. First of all, getting used to a whole new way to use the bathroom was a nuisance. And I'm not Dipper!

"Ah, I may not know any dances, but how about a song?" I suggested.

The ghosts exchanged glances then turned back to me curiously.

I began a little Old Man McGucket jig, but before I could start singing, everything became black and white and frozen. I paused then looked around. Wendy was staring at me from her hiding spot but was completely still. Even the floating ghosts weren't moving.

"Ahm…Hello?" I said with a frown, waving at the ghosts.

I then glanced behind me only to suddenly see the brain monster again. I fell back with a scream.

"Wh-What do you want?" I stuttered, scrambling backwards away from its eyes that continued to come closer.

It then faded away, but a strange voice then said, "That's very strong."

I then realized it was behind me and jumped away from the voice, turning to see the brain monster had reappeared there. Its vein-like hands reached over and seemed to be inspecting the air around me. It then touched my head and sent a tingling and numb sensation to my head, but nothing else happened to me other than that. It let go.

"Very strong," it repeated with its strange, electronic voice, and even though the voice resonated from it, its mouth didn't seem to be doing the talking. After also checking out Emil, it faded away again and everything regained color and movement.

The ghosts were still staring at me curiously, Wendy also watching from her hiding spot, and Emil completely out of it.

"Uh…Oh right!" I began my little jig again.

_"__For a very long, I've watched you from afar!_

_Hunched in your closet, or strapped beneath your car._

_I treasured all the stories, the three of us shared!_

_Wherever you are, I'll always be there!_

_When you were alone, I was there too!_

_Behind the shower curtain and you never knew!_

_I dressed in your clothes and breathed in your air,_

_I watched you both sleep and nussled your hair!_

_It helps that your bedroom has places to hide!_

_And the windows don't lock, so I can get inside!_

_I've waited so long to be a part of your life!_

_And maybe one day one of you may call me your wife!"_

I coughed then said, "Ignore that last line."

The two ghosts were holding each other, but I couldn't tell whether they were creeped out or happy. "Such lyrics!" the woman exclaimed.

They then disappeared and everything fell back to the floor and the teens were freed.

"Ugh," Emil grunted, sitting up, rubbing his forehead. "I am never going anywhere near candy again."

Nate asked Wendy, "What-What happened after everything went crazy?"

"You are never going to believe it! The ghosts appeared and Dipper had to…" she glanced my way. I frowned a little to show I didn't want it to be said. "Uh, I mean, Dipper just grabbed a bat, and just started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghosts got all scared and just ran away like a couple of little girls. It was insane!"

"Alright! Dr. Fun Times!" the teens cheered.

Wendy turned to me and zipped her lips I repeated her gesture with a grateful smile.

...

"Well, I'm probably scarred for life," Wendy said, when we were at the van.

"Heh, we've been traumatized!" I said happily.

Emil was too busy holding a bag of ice to his forehead to respond.

Wendy hit me lightly in the shoulder, laughing. When she was done, she said, "I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and _rethink everything._ Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack, okay?"

"Sounds good."

I entered the back of the van with Emil.

"The song I used to save us back there was The Stalker Song from The World of Gumball," I snorted.

Emil didn't respond.

As we began driving, Emil turned to the side and seemed to spot the writing I made him put earlier.

"Ughhh, I hate you, Lavender," he groaned.

"C'mon, you could've said no, to the writing _and_ the Smile Dip," I pointed out.

...

When we were back in our rooms, I noticed that Emil was being strangely quiet even though he was no longer sick of Smile Dip.

"Emil, do you like Wendy or something?" I asked.

He looked at me in surprise. "I don't. At least, I don't have a crush on her, but I think she's cool. Why do you think I like her?"

"You seem out of it!" I pointed out. "And you get all embarrassed easily whenever she's around!"

Emil exclaimed, "That doesn't mean I like her! I-I just…"

This side of Emil suddenly seemed familiar. I thought back about it then remembered he had acted like this when I first befriended him too. I blinked, finally understanding.

"You're just awkward around girls!" I shouted in realization. "I worried over nothing."

"What? You worried that I liked Wendy? Hey wait! Am I really that awkward?" Emil queried.

I just laughed until Grunkle Stan scolded us to go to sleep already.


	7. Dipper vs Manliness

Chapter Seven: Dipper vs. Manliness

My stomach let out a loud growl.

"Ugh, I'm so hungry!" I complained.

"Same here," Emil admitted, holding his stomach. "I'm gonna ask Grunkle Stan if we can go to the diner."

"Alright, let me come with."

"Hey, Grunkle Stan?" Emil started, but Grunkle Stan seemed to be attending to a customer. He glanced at me.

"He seems busy," I stated, but my stomach growled loudly again.

Emil then suddenly ran over and began circling around Grunkle Stan, shouting, "Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan! Dipper and I wanna go to the diner!"

For a second he reminded me of the actual Mabel. Is this that thing he had been mentioning to me recently? Something about having a Mabel Mode? I ran over too and followed in circling him.

"Diner! Diner!" we both shouted.

"Ah! Okay, okay! Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind," Stan answered, gesturing over to the customer he had been talking to. "I'm fine locking him in if you are."

Emil and I nodded.

When the waitress Lazy Susan came, Stan said loudly, "Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?"

"I got hit by a bus!" she responded.

While they talked, I glanced over at Emil who was looking at the floor with a downcast expression.

"What's up?"

Emil glanced up then looked back down with a sigh.

"I meant what's going on," I said. "Something's definitely bugging you."

"It's nothing, really," he said, putting his head in his arms. After a while he looked back up so he could breathe then something seemed to catch his eye. He was looking at the manliness tester.

"Oh, this episode," I uttered. "It's the first one I watched. You wanna try beating that manliness tester?"

Emil frowned a little then said, "No."

"Maybe I can do it," I said thoughtfully.

"You?" Stan said in disbelief. "Beating a Manliness Tester?" He burst out into laughter, banging on the table several times. Between fits of laughter he wheezed, "He says he's…he says he…"

I looked at Dipper's scrawny arms and frowned.

"Stop laughing!" I huffed, getting embarrassed.

"Look, face the music, kid. You have no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget how many times you're singing those annoying girl pop songs!"

"C'mon! They're not that girly! Right, Mabel?" I turned to Emil, but he was looking out the window, spacing out or something. He had been like this ever since a few days ago.

"Whoa, what's wrong with her? Hah, I bet she also hates it so much she doesn't even know what to say," Grunkle Stan said triumphantly.

I then noticed Manly Dan at the Manliness Tester. He pushed on the handle with his pinky and the machine immediately shot up to Manly Man. The machine exploded and sent free pancakes onto everyone's plates.

"Yes! Pancakes for everyone!" he hollered.

Everyone at the restaurant cheered.

"Why aren't you like that?" Grunkle Stan asked me, gesturing over at Manly Dan.

"Why aren't _you_ like that?" I retorted. "You're actually just a softy, aren't you?"

"Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty, soul," he declared, patting his chest.

Lazy Susan placed food onto the table and said loudly, "Food!"

"Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean, I mean uh, honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow…" Grunkle Stan stuttered.

"Haha! Silly!" Lazy Susan laughed as she walked away. "Silly man."

Grunkle Stan looked at me only to see my knowing smile.

"That was nothing."

"Heheh."

"That was nothing," Grunkle Stan insisted, putting his hand on his forehead.

I glanced over to Emil, but he was still looking out the window.

Feeling less happy, I nonetheless turned to Grunkle Stan with a grin and said, "You like Lazy Susan! You freakin' softy!"

"Keep it down, will ya?" Stan huffed. "Alright, I admit it, okay? It would be nice if she liked me, but I've been out of the game for so long, I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy."

I looked over and saw her smacking the broken pie trolley, shouting, "Spin, ya dumb pies, spin!"

"Very classy," I remarked sarcastically. "Don't worry about it, Grunkle Stan! I'm sure I can do something about this situation!"

"You? Girls do their best to avoid you!" Grunkle Stan scoffed.

"What? Really?" I asked worriedly, then coughed. "A-Anyways, how about help from an actual girl then? Mabel?"

Emil didn't respond.

"Yeesh, what's up with your sister?" Grunkle Stan asked.

"I dunno. She's also your niece, you know," I pointed out.

"Well, do something about her!" Grunkle Stan said, waving us away. "I'm not about to try consoling her about whatever emotional issues."

"We'll meet you back at the shack then," I said as I grabbed Emil's wrist and dragged him out.

As we were walking down a street, I noticed Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubs running around a broken hydrant, spewing out water from all sides.

I dragged Emil over in range of the water. When he got sprayed, he jolted backwards then turned to me and exclaimed, "Hey!"

"It's your fault for being so out of it! I've been trying to get you to talk but all day you've been brooding and brooding over something that you won't tell me about!" I shouted in irritation.

Emil frowned down at the ground. "It's nothing."

"So you only trust me to such an extent that you won't tell me about something that is obviously bugging you."

I stomped away angrily, getting a bag of beef jerky on the way.

"Stupid Emil," I muttered once I found a nice spot alone in the forest. I couldn't find the spot Dipper had gone mostly because I wouldn't remember it, but I still wondered if I would be approached by a manotaur with my beef jerky.

Just as I began wondering about it, the ground began to shake violently. Animals began running away from something, and I barely escaped a falling tree. I stared frozen in where the tree had fallen.

Then out of the trees and bushes were little familiar elves.

"Oh, I remember you," I said in surprise as they crowded me.

I kneeled down and patted their heads. Then the ground seemed to begin trembling again and they all hid again. Then out came the manotaur who seemed to be sniffing out my beef jerky. I let out a shout of surprise when he abruptly turned to me.

Pointing at me, he roared, "YOU!"

Before he could finish what he was going to say, a tall man suddenly jumped in front of me as if guarding me.

"Leave this area, beast. You're in elven territory," the man said calmly yet fiercely.

The manotaur backed away from the elf with a face of distaste, but he left either way.

"Oh uh, thank you?" I said.

He turned to me and helped me up. He laughed lightly, "You say it as if you're not sure you are thankful. Don't worry. I'm a friend."

"Okay."

"I'm glad you weren't hurt by that horrible Minotaur. They are always so vulgar."

Remembering Rhovanen, I eyed him cautiously. He was also beautiful, and looked very kind, but Rhovanen had seemed the same. The little elves then came back out and crowded me again.

The elf man looked at them in surprise then smiled softly. "So this is why you all ran off so suddenly. This boy is a friend of yours?"

They stared up at him blankly until he began speaking in a different language that they seemed to understand. They then all began nodding or responding in some way that said 'yes.'

"Oh right, my name is Norui," he said, holding out a hand.

I shook his hand and said, "Dipper."

When I was about to pull my hand away to end the greeting, he suddenly tightened his grip as if he seemed to notice something.

"You seem troubled," he finally said, letting go of my hand by then.

"Oh? Oh… Yeah, kinda," I shrugged.

He neatly sat down on the fallen tree and folded his hands in his lap. "What is the issue?"

"Nah, it's nothing really. I'm just annoyed by a friend of mine, you know. It's nothing big."

His eyes prompted me to go on.

I sat down next to him and sighed, "Well, he's been spaced out lately, and anyone could tell something's bothering him, but whenever I ask what's wrong he'll just tell me it's nothing even though it's obviously not nothing! Does he not trust me or something?"

"Sometimes people have problems they'd like to deal with themselves," Norui suggested.

"Well, it's been going on for quite a while! I wish he would confide in me!" I grumped. "Argh, I just…I don't feel like going back home now otherwise I'll just see him again and get annoyed even more."

"Hm, then why don't you come with me? It would be unwise to stay too long, but maybe I can help put your mind away from this for a while," Norui assured.

He then got up and began walking somewhere. The little elves then grabbed my hand and began pulling me with them. We came to a part of the forest thick with trees, so thick it would be impossible to get through. Norui simply touched the knot of trees and they suddenly untangled to reveal a village of elves.

Once we passed through, the trees tangled again and the little elves ran off somewhere.

"They are of a slightly different species from us," Norui said to me while staring in the direction of where the elves ran off. "But we still both call ourselves elves and join in homes."

"I see," I murmured, following him through the village.

Looking around, everyone was beautiful in some respect, but I had to admit that Rhovanen was so far the most enchanting one I had seen.

"Say, once there was a guy Rhovanen who came up to me and my friend…"

The moment I had mentioned the elf's name, Norui had turned to me with a look of alarm. Some others passing by seemed perturbed by the name but pretended they didn't hear me and moved on.

"Ah that one," Norui said, quickly regaining his composure.

He brought me into his home where no one would disturb us before he mentioned more.

"So he came up to you and your friend. How did you escape him?" Norui asked curiously.

"Escape? Why do I get the feeling you guys don't like this guy?"

"Elves have a certain erm, _power_, if you will," Norui began explaining. "Beauty and understanding. I, for one have understanding as do all the others here. The other half that lives elsewhere but unbearably near has beauty which they use to seduce generally humans. They feed off of desire and other feelings of the like."

"Oh? So what happens to a human that's being seduced?" I asked in confusion since Rhovanen hadn't done anything to me or Emil.

"Well, once the elf tires of that human, he or she usually just leaves them to their confused selves. In leaving, the human generally goes crazy in some way. Strangely, the residents of Gravity Falls don't seem to take on this effect so this became a favorite spot of those elves," Norui explained. "Now, I'm even more curious about your encounter with Rhovanen. If he wasn't seducing you, what was he doing?"

"Oh he was trying to seduce me," I said with a nod and a frown. "It was gross since – well, I don't have a thing against gays but…it was gay, and I'm not gay. Also he said something about not wanting to be involved with us when he realized his charm or whatever wasn't working on me."

"Oh?" Norui let out in surprise. "His charm didn't work on you? Rhovanen is the most infamous with his charm."

"Yeah, apparently some other strong spell –" I then covered my mouth when I realized I was being too trusting of this guy. I had unwittingly followed this guy to his home and everything without being suspicious of anything.

Norui narrowed his eyes at me and murmured, "Some other strong spell?"

"Hey, I think it's about time I go back home now," I said loudly, my voice cracking badly out of nervousness.

"Yes, you're right. It only makes sense that you don't trust me if you can't be put under other magical influences," Norui said. "But I don't want to leave it at this. You have piqued my interest."

He began walking around me, inspecting me.

"Maybe we can help you out by taking out that spell you're under. You yourself don't seem to want it," he said to me.

"You want to help me?"

"You've simply piqued my interest and the little ones seem to like you," he chuckled. "And this does get your mind off that friend of yours."

"Oh…right," I said a little quietly upon remembering Emil.

Emil

"Alright, so Dipper has left me – an actual girl – to help you with your hopeless love life," I said to Grunkle Stan with fake confidence. "And because I'm a girl, I know what girls like!"

I don't know crap! I'm freaking awkward around girls! Darn it, Lavender! I need your help!

"Okay," Grunkle Stan responded, waiting for me to say more.

"Uh, okay, so uh, Soos! Let's get you dressed as Lazy Susan. Grunkle Stan, you'll pretend he's Lazy Susan and uh, I'll help you from there?" I instructed.

Once Soos was dressed up, he rubbed his stomach, saying, "I'm soft, like a woman."

"Uh, okay, uh, first things first! How would you uh, talk to uh, Lazy Susan?" I said, gesturing to the dressed up Soos. "Go up to her!"

Stan walked up to Soos then spit to the side and holding out his hand, said gruffly, "Can I borrow some money?"

"No! No! No!" I shouted disapprovingly.

Argh, Lavender probably has it worse at the man cave. Training to be a man. Manlier than me…

Lavender

"Ack! Yah! That's a tickle spot! Don't touch me there!" I exclaimed, trying to hold a laugh. I looked at Norui. "Is this really necessary?"

One of the elderly elves was doing some ritual to try casting away the spell on me. Apparently, a lot of skin contact was necessary to understand the spell on me. She then plucked one of my hairs and put it into her bowl of water and other random substances.

Norui was too busy laughing to answer.

Once we were out, he said with a forced sigh, "That didn't work, huh?"

He cracked a smile as I hit his shoulder roughly and huffed, "That was just a fake, wasn't it?"

"No one really talks to Old Lady Lolani much anymore. Any chance to give her more of a bounce out of life, I'll give to her. New and exciting company like you is nice!" he explained, patting my head.

I crossed my arms and asked, "So how about we get down to business?"

I turned to him to see him holding his hands out as if he was reading my air or something with his eyes closed. He seemed to be seriously concentrating.

"I think I'm getting something," he mumbled after a while. "The spell you are under…"

I blinked and listened intently. He opened his eyes and stared at me with eyes full of concern.

"The spell you are under…" he repeated more quietly, "it ensures you to be a stick in the mud who, ack!" – At this point I was jabbing him a bunch – "who can't have a little fun!"

Even though I was trying to be serious, he was doing really well in forcing laughter out of me.

I stopped jabbing him and said with a light laugh, "Funny, I'm usually the one teasing my friend to stop being a stick in the mud."

Suddenly, Norui began poking me back, and we began a poking fight.

Emil

"Alright, Grunkle Stan, what do you think of your new look?" I asked, pulling him over to a large mirror.

"Ugh, it's like I'm dressed for a funeral – some weird, goth funeral," Grunkle Stan grumped.

"Girls like cool guys of supreme style! Those leather pants are killing it!" I declared.

"If you say so," Grunkle Stan said, standing awkwardly.

Soos was then passing by.

"Soos!" I called out.

He came over and greeted, "'Sup, hambone."

"Do you think Stan is looking good?" I asked, gesturing over to Grunkle Stan who was having trouble sitting down on a chair.

"Urgh, stupid…leather," he grunted.

Suddenly there was a loud rip and Grunkle Stan froze. Soos and I stared with wide eyes as Grunkle Stan straightened back up and used a pillow to cover up his behind as he left the room as quickly as he could possibly go in that attire.

Soos opened his mouth to say something, but I just held up my hand and said, "Yeah, I know."

I got the Training Mix out and started playing it in the CD player.

"This is gonna take a while."

Lavender

"Scare the spell right out!" Norui shouted from the other side in encouragement.

I stared down the ravine and yelled, "There's no way I can jump this!"

"That's it! The fear! Now you just need to jump to give it that last oomph!" Norui said, gesturing me over. "Just look at me and jump over! I'll catch you so don't worry about falling!"

I looked at him with a glare then backing up first, I charged over. My feet left the ground, but did not meet the ground again soon. Panic surged through me. Norui reached out his arms to catch me, but missed so I ended up falling through the ravine, cursing his name.

"NORUI, I'M GOING TO KILL YOUUUUUU!"

Emil

"Wendy suggested just cleaning you up a bit," I said as I got out a shaver. "So let's shave off that unsightly chest hair, Grunkle Stan."

Grunkle Stan took off his tank top, revealing the tangles of hair. I unintentionally let out a scream and ran away.

Lavender

"You okay?" Norui asked.

"I have scratches and bruises all over because of that fall," I growled. "I don't think spells work like hiccups! No more scary stuff!"

"That's why my friend Silef here, has an idea she'd like to try," Norui announced, gesturing over to Silef.

She took out a test tube full of some murky purple liquid.

"I partake in some witchcraft," she said quietly with too wide of a smile.

I took the small glass and glanced at Norui who drank an imaginary one then nodded at me to do it. After staring at the purplish guck, I quickly downed it. It tasted like lukewarm water, but more thick and that's what grossed me out.

"What is this?" I asked with a frown.

Norui bit back a wide smile then said, "Maybe it's best you don't know so we're not cleaning up after anything from your stomach."

Soon after he said that, my stomach began to make weird noises and I could tell I was turning green as the contents I had drank bubbled back up my throat. I ran off to the bushes just as Silef and Norui realized I was going to throw up. They chased after me shouting out in panic.

Emil

"Are you taking that shower properly?" I called from outside the bathroom door.

Grunkle Stan shouted over the running water, "I am! Let a man shower in peace, would ya?"

"Okay-ayyy," I responded doubtfully.

Lavender

"Why're we at the broken fire hydrant?" I asked Norui.

"Washing off the spell," he said just before pushing me into the water.

The force of the water current easily flung me off the ground and away.

"NORUIIIIII!" I shouted angrily, half drowning as I was washed away.

Emil

"Okay, now that you're clean, you have to learn to stand up straight – hey, are you listening?" I exclaimed hitting Stan's face several times since he seemed to be looking elsewhere. "Eye contact, man! It's rude to ignore a person!"

Lavender

"NORUIIII!" I shouted as I ran after him as fast as I could with my tiny legs against his long ones.

He easily and gracefully jumped over the gorge that I had fallen off of earlier that day.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" I shouted, jumping off the ground and towards him.

My feet were off the ground for a while then landed just on the edge of the other side. Norui gaped in surprise when I made the jump then even more frightfully began to run away.

Emil

"Okay, how much have you improved?" I sighed.

Wendy and Soos came to my side to see the improvement too. We looked at his picture before the training started then lowered it to compare it to Stan now. We all narrowed our eyes at the picture and Stan.

"Huh, there was no change at all," Wendy remarked. "Well, except for his swelling cheeks from being hit so much."

"I may have overdone it in that respect," I said sheepishly. "I just couldn't get Stan to pay attention!"

"Face it, Mabel," Wendy said. "Your uncle's unfixable. Like that spinning pie thing in the diner."

"Right! But she doesn't give up on that pie thing, does she? Because she's got nothing else going for her! Stan, come with me! Just as you are is fine!" I said, running out the door.

Lavender

"Face it, Norui. This spell is strong," I sighed. "You don't even know what the spell is."

"Wait, there's one last method we can try," Norui said, taking a bite of the jerky I had left in his house.

"No more methods," I huffed. "You're going to kill me before you help me."

"No, I'm serious! Last one, and it won't kill you," Norui said. "I have a friend, his name is Arrad. If I can just find him, I know he'll help you."

"Well, where is he? Let's get this over with," I sighed.

"Yeahhh, that's the thing," Norui muttered. "Arrad is a wanderer. I'm never really sure where he is. We've always asked him for a way to contact him if we need him, but he would always say he would come to us when we really do need him."

"And I keep my promise."

"Ah!" Norui and I both shouted in surprise when an elf suddenly appeared beside us. He looked to be just a bit older than Norui but still what you'd call a youth.

"Hello, Norui," he greeted with a small laugh.

His polite manner reminded me of how Norui had acted when we first met. Now Norui was nothing but a jerk when he could be.

"Arrad! It's been so long!" Norui exclaimed. "This boy needs your help!"

"I can see that," Arrad said, glancing down at me. "She's under quite a strange predicament."

I blinked in surprise.

He kneeled down and patted my head, chuckling, "What was it like learning a new way to use the bathroom?"

"Awkward," I mumbled, wanting to hide my reddening face.

Norui shouted in surprise, "Wait – you're a girl?"

"How did you know?" I asked the elf.

"I've learned much about ways to use the power of understanding," he said. "To understand is to know, but to know doesn't always mean to understand."

"Your point?" Norui asked, crossing his arms.

"Norui was always conscious of you as you are, for example, but couldn't comprehend the information his power let him receive. Now then, let me see…" Arrad began patting me down. "Your real body, do you know of its location?"

I paused then shook my head.

Arrad slightly frowned then said, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to help then. If you had your other body, we could have Silef create that body transfer potion."

"But isn't Silef just faking witchcraft?" Norui asked.

Arrad only smiled at Norui who blinked in surprise. I then realized it too. Silef has more to her than what she shows.

"These past couple hours have been really nice, but I think if you can't help me any more than this, it's time I go back home," I said to Arrad and Norui. "You have helped me somewhat, both of you. Thanks."

Norui frowned a bit and said, "Once you leave, you can't come back without an elf's help. It'll be rare for us to cross paths. People here aren't difficult or give you trouble like your friend does."

I blinked in surprise then asked in disbelief, "Are you suggesting I stay? Haha, he's my best friend so I can deal with it. I mean, for the most part, he's always the one who has to deal with me."

Norui nodded and led me back to the tangles of trees. "Then this is goodbye."

"Haha, nah, I don't like goodbyes. You said _rarely_ but not _never_, right?" I said as I stepped through the slowly opening trees. I stared at the other side where the beautiful people lived then I turned to Norui. "See you later."

Norui blinked and was silent before he repeated, "See you later."

The trees then knotted, closing off that other world.

Emil

"Lazy Susan! My great uncle Stan likes you! And I don't think you'll be getting many opportunities like this one! Seriously, so what do you think?" I said.

I cannot remember what Mabel actually said, but I felt my improvisation was good enough since I failed to clean up Grunkle Stan.

Lazy Susan looked Grunkle Stan up and down before turning to leave. I blinked in surprise then began to panic a little.

Grunkle Stan slumped over in disappointment and turned to leave the diner, but then Lazy Susan came back with a piece of paper and pie, calling, "Hey! Here's my number! Why don't you give me a call some time?"

"Really?" Grunkle Stan asked in surprised delight.

"Really!" Lazy Susan replied. "Haha! Also, here's some pie! On the house. For YOU!"

She then left. Grunkle Stan sat down to eat the pie.

"Yay! I did it! I mean, we did it!" I exclaimed. "Nah…I did it! Yes! Yes!"

I began jumping around happily. Then, when I tired of that, I began punching Grunkle Stan's arm excitedly.

"Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?" Grunkle Stan huffed, pushing my face away.

I then noticed Lavender passing by the window. She looked strangely pensive. I threw myself against the window, making a loud thud just to startle her. It was a success because she let out a shout of surprise and her hand flew to her chest as if she was about to have a heart attack. I laughed and waved at her. She responded with a soft smile.

I sat back down in my chair, wondering why she wasn't as hyper as she usually was.

Once she sat down beside me, I asked, "Is something the matter?"

She shook her head and replied, "Nothing really bad happened, but I guess I'm…sad."

"Was it the manotaurs?" I asked sympathetically. "It must have been horrible."

"Manotaurs? That's a bunch of bull," Lavender snorted. "Haha, bull. No, that wasn't it. It's just, I made friends with this person, but it's just that we had to say goodbye. I won't get to see them again."

"Dipper…" I murmured.

Lavender shrugged. "It's fine. I'm fine."

I sighed, "Okay, this is going to be cheesy, but I like cheese so oh well."

Lavender quirked an eyebrow at me, but I saw I was able to get her to smile just a little bit there.

"It doesn't matter how much you hang out with someone. What matters is how much you think of them. Then they'll be there," I said, pointing at Lavender's chest, "in your heart."

Lavender seemed to seriously listen to my words and nodded. Then, she began laughing her head off and smacked my back. "That was seriously cheesy, Mabel! I've never heard you say stuff like that!"

I tried frowning, but Grunkle Stan was laughing too so I gave up on trying to be angry and joined into the happy chorus.

Grunkle Stan then began coughing and huffed, "It was worth it."

While he was distracted by his pie, Lavender surprised me by leaning close to whisper, "Thanks, Emil."

It wasn't the fact that she thanked me that surprised me, but the fact that it wasn't Dipper's voice I heard from her.

It was Lavender's voice.


End file.

Gravity Falls, Humor, Supernatural