Home & Away The Chance

**The Chance- Chapter 1 (If only) **

It had been two weeks, two weeks since that horrible day. Something inside me told me it wasn't real, that this whole thing was a dream. Others told me it was denial, denial to accept the fact that my life was going to change. Some may say I had to change my thoughts, to change my life.

For the first time in those two weeks, I'm not in the hospital room, not hanging around waiting and hoping. Instead I am sitting on stool at the bar, taking one drink at a time. I wanted to numb the pain I felt. The horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, the piercing heartache that, that horrible day caused me. I just wanted to escape for a little while, just enough not to worry about life's problems.

I was well and truly drunk. My head was in my hands, deciding whether to have one more or go home, freshen up and return to the hospital room. The door flew open and a few people walked in, bringing the smell of her sweet perfume that brought me back to the day, I bought it for her.

Her birthday was nearing. It was her first birthday as a married woman, so I had to make it special. It couldn't be the normal bunch of flowers and a gift card. I had to get it right. I even brought her best friend along to help me. At first I was thinking a nice piece of jewellery, but Bianca, her best friend said perfume. I didn't see what was so special about perfume; it was an everyday thing for most women except her. She had never worn perfume since I met her. It was a perfect sentimental gift. Every time she wore it, she would be reminded of me.

I was brought out of my flashback left in agony and despair by an older man sitting next to me. He stared at me quizzically.

"You alright mate?" He had a clear voice.

"Yep," I simply nodded. I wasn't in the mood for a chat.

"Doesn't look like it, what's got you in a mood?" He asked. Gosh, he was a pushy man.

"What's it to you?" I replied in an angry tone.

"Nothing, just looked like you needed help," His face had changed since he started talking. Now it was more sorrowful look.

"Well, it doesn't concern you, so maybe leave me be," I snapped at him. He had no right being in my business.

He didn't reply instead, he dug through his wallet and slid a business card along the bar so it was next to my drink. I stared at it momentarily, not sure what to do with it. I was angry with myself, all I had been doing lately is pushing people away and all they were trying to do was help me. I picked up the card and slid it into my back pocket and left in the direction of our house.

A little while later I found myself sitting on the same seat, I had been sitting at for the past two weeks, staring aimlessly at her lifeless body. The only sound in the room other than my sobs was those of the machine that was keeping her alive. It ripped my heart to pieces watching her. How could something happen to such an innocent woman? It shouldn't be her in this position.

There was a quiet knock on the door and her doctor appeared. He gave me a sympathetic look before pulling up a spare chair beside me.

"Brax, I understand this is a really tough time for you to go through, but we would like you to consider the option of switching the ventilator off," Dr Smith said.

"I just can't!" I cried louder. "She doesn't feel dead, her body is still warm."

"I want you to understand that the only thing that is keeping her alive is the machine. If you choose to keep her like this, she'll be in this comatose state."

"But what happens if there is a miracle? She can wake up!" I cried.

"I'll let you be, I just want you to think about it," She said quietly before leaving the room.

I hated this. Why was it happening to us? What have we done for this to happen to us? I needed space and I needed to think, I wanted to make the right decision. I reached for the business card in my back pocket. Studying the card, I realised that the man who tried helping earlier on was a pastor for the local church. Why was I so rude to him? All he was trying to do was help. It had a number on it. Maybe I could find guidance on this situation from him.

Half an hour later I find myself sitting on hard, cold pew staring at the cross on the stage. It felt weird to be in a church, I had never been a churchy person. I remember as a kid mum used to try and get us to go with her.

"So you decided you wanted to talk?" I heard the familiar voice from earlier in the night.

I nodded. "My wife," I simply said. I wasn't sure how to say it.

"What's happened?" he asked.

"She's dead!" My voice choked in my throat. It feels so unrealistic saying that she's dead. I don't want to believe it. "Well, not yet… She's hooked up to life support. It's my call whether I turn her off or not," I tried holding back my tears. He looked at me, unsure of what to say. "It was late at night; I had one to many beers. I said I would drive but she insisted on driving. We stopped at an intersection only to be t-boned by another car. She shouldn't have had her life taken from her like that. I should have driven!" I was crying hard. I had never said that to any one before.

"No, stop there, don't you blame yourself for something that couldn't have been prevented. No one deserves or should have been in that place and you defiantly shouldn't be in the position to make such a horrible decision," He said.

"But what should I do? I want to be selfish and keep her alive for my benefit and to be the best mum she can be to her daughter but if she is alive, I want her to have the best quality of life."

"I can't tell you what to do but in twenty years' time from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn't do, then the things you did do."

I thought about it for a moment. Was there some secret meaning behind that? What happens if I was to turn it off, let her go forever and to regret in twenty years' time? He got me thinking deep. All I had to was change my thoughts and let it change my life. I peered at him, and gave him a small grin. "Thank you for everything," I said to him.

I find myself sitting in her room again, holding her hand, my other entangled with Ruby's. I hated myself for doing this, but I'd rather her die with diginity. Sid was waiting near the machine, waiting for Ruby and I to give the signal. With one last sob I nodded me head. We just waited until we heard the last beep of the machine. Sid gasped in shock,I quickly stared at him. I couldn't read the face, but something had happened.

"What is it Sid?" Ruby's soft, barely audible voice spoke up.

**_I hope you enjoyed this story, please let me know if I should continue with this story or not... Would love to hear your thoughts on it xo _**


End file.

Home & Away, Hurt-Comfort, Romance