1. Chapter 1

**NEW BEGINNING**

**Hey everyone. Thank you so much for reading my first fic, Resolution, and all the wonderful feedback and encouragement you gave me. New Beginning is the continuation of that, and begins within thirty-six hours of Resolution's end.**

**Chapter 1**

Olivia stretched slowly, working the knots out of her over-used body… She made a throaty sound of contentment and rolled over, resettling herself snugly by Elliot's side, pulling his arm around her. "Ya know, with all the talking we've done these last few days, we've hardly caught up on each others' personal lives at all," she said, looking up at him with a sexy smile.

"That's because you keep looking at me like that, and cuddling up to me nearly naked, and all I can think about is all the ways I still want to take you," he leered, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "We haven't exactly done a lot of talking in the past thirty-six hours," he smirked. He ran his hand up inside her tee-shirt—the only thing covering her sexy curves—smoothing it over the plains of her back… He marveled at how warm and silky her skin was, and how good it felt under his hand.

"Yeah, well, that has to come to an end—at least for a little while… I can hardly wa-alk," she moaned, her voice catching as his wandering hand crept ever closer to her breast… Reaching around, she firmly removed his hand from inside her shirt, and placed it safely on the outside of the comforter.

"You complaining, Benson…?" He looked down at her, his eyebrows quirked and a shit-eating grin on his face.

Olivia placed a lingering kiss on his lips, smiling into his eyes. "No complaints here, Stabler," she purred. Before he could change her mind, she pulled away, throwing the covers back. She sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, placing her feet on the floor. "I think we need to feed me… How 'bout some brunch after I shower?" she asked, standing slowly. She took a few steps, testing her legs. "I feel like I've been horse-back riding for about eight hours," she mumbled.

Elliot watched as she gingerly made her way to the bathroom, shaking his head and smiling to himself. He'd never admit it to Olivia, but he was feeling the effects of their activities, too. His parts weren't as young as they used to be, and the marathon they'd just completed rivaled anything he'd ever done with Kathy—even when they were in their twenties… Of course they'd always had babies around. But Olivia was insatiable—_and_ athletic! He was quite certain he'd died and gone to heaven. He closed his eyes envisioning her voluptuous body, and groaned low in his throat—wondering if it would always be like this between them—quite sure he could never get enough of her.

* * *

Olivia stepped out of the now-steamy bathroom—her hair still wet from her shower—her face freshly scrubbed and devoid of make-up. She'd thrown on Elliot's old NYPD sweatshirt—her favorite—the one she'd stolen from him years ago. It was warm and comfortable, and soft from too many washings. It hung half-way to her knees and draped off one shoulder, but she liked it better than any robe she owned… She loved to wrap up in it after her shower on those mornings when she could just kick around the house and not worry about being on a schedule.

A delightful aroma wafted from the kitchen, and she followed her nose. Thankfully, Elliot had had the presence of mind to make a run to the market after his visit to the precinct, dropping the groceries off while she'd been meeting with David. It appeared he'd also taken the initiative to do the cooking this morning, probably knowing if he'd waited for her it would be take-out—again.

Elliot was so preoccupied putting the finishing touches on what promised to be a tasty brunch that he hadn't yet noticed her standing there, just watching him: He carried plates of food to the table humming a tuneless melody, utter contentment evident on his face and in the comfortable way he moved his body. She noticed a copy of the New York Times and a single rose, beside her plate. Her breath caught as the moment washed over her, bringing with it a glimpse of what her future could hold.

Elliot caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. "Hey gorgeous… You're just in time for some grub," he offered. When he looked up from his task, he nearly dropped the plate of eggs he was carrying. "Whoa! How the hell am I supposed to get my mind off ravishing you when every time I see you, you look so goddamned sexy," he growled. He set the plate down and walked toward her, his eyes raking over her body and coming to rest on her face. He reached up and ran his fingers through her still-damp hair, looking into her eyes. "You look different…"

"I don't have any make-up on," she said, with a self-conscious grin. "I'm pretty sure you've never seen me without it."

"Wow. Just when I think you can't get any more beautiful… Why do you even bother…?" he asked, running his thumb over her bottom lip. He lowered his eyes, roving them over her body. "Nice outfit, Liv—does that come with panties," he snickered, as he ran one hand down over his purloined sweatshirt and attempted to reach up under it.

She slapped his hand away and pulled from his grasp, her eyes full of laughter… and more. "I swear to god, El, you'll never find out if you don't feed me," she said, trying to suppress a giggle.

The look of surprise on Elliot's face was priceless. "Did you just giggle, Benson…? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I heard you giggle…" he accused, his face splitting with a grin.

"Shut-up and feed me! And if this leaves this room, Stabler, I _will_ shoot you," she threatened, pulling a chair out from the table and lowering herself into it.

Elliot pulled out his own chair and sat down, still chuckling and shaking his head. "You better watch it, Benson, or you're gonna go all soft and girly on me."

Olivia chose to ignore his remark; instead, she focused on the scrumptious meal he'd prepared and laid out for them. "Hey, El, thanks for cooking… I didn't mean _you_ had to feed me… I would have helped, ya know."

"Yeah, I know… But I'm not sure how much help you'd have been—you can't cook, and you're a hell of a distraction," he teased, ogling her curves. "Besides, I love doing things for you… And making breakfast is what I do best."

Olivia reached over and took his hand. "Well, I'm not sure it's what you do_ best_…" She raised an eyebrow, giving him a sexy smirk. "But, thank you—it looks, _and _smells, delicious. "And I _can _cook," she added, indignantly. "I just choose _not _to." Her voice turned soft and she lowered her eyes. "The newspaper and rose are a nice touch, El. I think I could get used to this."

Elliot tipped her chin until their eyes met. "Good… That's what I'm hoping for, Liv." He leaned in, kissing her lips sweetly. He watched for a moment, searching for any trace of panic in her eyes… Finding none, he pulled away, a smile on his face.

Hoping to restore the light-hearted banter, Olivia reached for the pancakes, while working her bare toes up under his pant leg, getting his attention. "I think you're used to cooking for the Stabler clan, El… There's enough food here to feed a small country," she laughed, surveying the spread, as she put a generous dollop of honey on her pancakes.

"Yeah, I guess you're right… But you said you were hungry, and I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for. Besides, I want you to keep up your strength." He gave a sexy waggle of his eyebrows, causing heat to flood her, sending a pink flush to her cheeks.

They both attacked the food with ravenous appetites, not surprising to either of them, knowing the energy and calories they'd expended over the past several hours. Olivia was the first to push her plate away, groaning, as she rubbed her tummy. "That was so good El, but now I'm gonna need a walk—or a nap… Maybe both. You _were_ cooking with the Stabler clan in mind."

"Yeah… Old habits die hard."

"Speaking of the Stabler clan… How are they? I've missed your kids, El—missed seeing them—hearing about them. What are they up to these days?"

"Well, like I said, Eli's in pre-school and loving it. He's the only one at home on a regular basis, now. He paused for a moment. "I can't believe how grown-up the rest of them are…" he said, shaking his head. "You knew Maureen got her graduate degree from Columbia… She's working as a paralegal with a firm on Long Island, and she's looking at pre-law programs—probably with Columbia."

"That's pretty impressive… She should talk to Alex."

"Yeah… She probably should," Elliot said, glancing up at her. "Kathleen is finishing up her four-year degree in psychology at Hunter… She wants to work in the field, but there're a lot of challenges…" He hesitated, sadness clouding his eyes. "…because of her bi-polar diagnosis." After a moment he continued, his eyes brightening. "She's had some roadblocks, but she's got a great attitude, and lots of determination."

"She'll make it, Elliot… She's an amazing young woman, and she's got the support of her family... That counts for so much, El." Olivia rested her hand on his arm, giving a gentle squeeze. "She'll find her place."

He looked up, smiling his appreciation. "Dickie, I mean, Richard, is still floundering a little—but he's enrolled in Queens College." He gave a chuckle before continuing. "He wanted to give himself some time before deciding if he wants a service career… He's thinking Marines—like his old man." Elliot couldn't hide how proud he was of his son.

"And I can tell you have no problem with that," she laughed, indulging his fatherly pride.

"And last, but by no means, least… Lizzie is working on her degree at _your _alma mater—Siena, before enrolling in the NYC Police Academy… She's following your path, Liv."

"She could do worse." Olivia grinned, bumping his shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she stood and started clearing the table. "I'll take care of this: You did the cooking—I do the clean-up… Those are the rules. You could go grab a shower," she suggested.

Elliot stood and wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her close. He pushed her hair aside, breathing in her scent and scraping his five o'clock shadow on the tender skin below her ear. "Mmm," he groaned, "you smell good. So you think I should shower, huh… You tryin' to tell me something, Benson…?" he said with a soft growl, attaching his lips to her neck, and giving a gentle bite.

She gasped at the sensation. "Yeah… You're never gonna' find out if I have panties under this sweatshirt, if you don't go shave." Pulling out of his arms, she gave him a smirk, and continued to clear the dishes from the table.

* * *

In no time at all, Olivia had restored the kitchen to good order and stacked the last of the dishes in the drainer, leaving them to drip. She dried her hands and made her way to the couch to wait for Elliot to finish showering—and hopefully shaving away the last thirty-six hours of beard growth. She gingerly rubbed her chest where there was lingering evidence of its sandpaper effect, smiling softly as she remembered how it got there.

Elliot emerged from the bathroom to find her lounging on the couch. She scooted over making room for him and he sat down, leaning back into the cushions, pulling her to him. His hair was wet and Olivia could feel dampness through his tee-shirt, his warm skin exuding the masculine scent of sandalwood soap. He lifted her hair from her shoulders and held it back while he rubbed his cleanly-shaven face into her neck, causing her to moan. "Did I pass the test?" He grinned impishly at her, watching her worry her lower lip between her teeth, her eyelids half-closed, while she tried to fight the sensations he was creating in her body.

Reaching up, she patted his cheeks, and ran her lips down his chin and over his throat, inspecting for any missed stubble. "I'd say you passed with flying colors, detective." She pressed in for a tender kiss.

"Hmmm… Do I get to see if you're wearing panties now," he teased, reminding her of a small boy begging for candy.

"Well, that depends… If you can check without molesting me, by all means—be my guest." He started to protest and she shushed him, giving a sexy raise of her eyebrow. "Or… Maybe you'd rather wait a little while and give me a chance to digest my meal… And then, who knows where it could lead," she purred seductively, smiling into his eyes.

"Goddamn, Benson… I never figured you for a tease," he whined, again reminding her of a little boy.

"I'm not teasing… I gave you options—and I fully intend to follow through." She laughed low in her throat as she pulled out of his arms, leaving him to pout. She settled herself back against the couch and looked over at him. "Besides, I wanna hear more about your kids."

Elliot rubbed his hand over his face, admitting defeat, and leaned back into the cushions. "What kind of questions," he asked, with just the slightest bit of 'grumpy' in his tone.

"How often do you see Eli…? I assume you have joint custody."

"Yeah, I do," he replied, all traces of grumpiness gone. "Kathy's been great about that… I get him on weekends, but I get to see him during the week whenever I want, or if there's some special occasion. Kathy's working part-time at the hospital—Bellevue. That's where she met Tony—he's a radiologist there. Anyway, she's scheduled most weekends, so it works out well for her."

"You must have him tomorrow then… What time do you get him?"

"I do. I pick him up around 10:00 on Saturday mornings and take him home by 5:00 Sunday evenings. Sometimes, he spends Friday nights with me, too…" Elliot reached over and took her hand, raising it to his lips and giving her knuckles a playful nip. "But not this Friday night… he said, with a lascivious grin. "I've got other plans."

Olivia smiled knowingly into his eyes and gently removed her hand from his grasp. She looked down for a moment before speaking. "Elliot, you have to promise me that you _will never_ allow me—us—_this relationship_, to get in the way of your time with your children… Please, El. You need to know how important it is to me that that won't happen." Her eyes were solemn as she looked into his, imploring that he take her seriously.

"I promise," he said, moving closer and taking her into his arms. "And that is one of the many reasons I fell so hopelessly, and so deeply, in love with you, Olivia Benson." His voice was raspy with emotion. "You are the most honorable, most selfless person I know. Your capacity to love staggers me. I'm so proud to have you in my life, and so humbled that you have any desire to be with me, Liv." He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly… Before pulling away he tilted her chin until their eyes met. "I promise I won't neglect my children for you, baby, but I also promise I won't neglect _you_ for them. You'll be a part of their lives with me… You'll be included in every aspect of it, Olivia. I won't have it any other way—and neither will they… They care about you."

Olivia's heart melted… She studied his face before pulling out of his arms and creating a little distance between them. She leaned into the corner of the couch, focusing on her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. "I don't know about that, El… I know Eli is—well, _was_—fond of me. And Kathleen and I really bonded… I feel very close to her." She paused for a moment, pondering her relationships with the other Stabler children. Still focusing on her lap, she continued. "Lizzie has always seemed to look up to me as a role model, so I guess she likes me, too." She slowly raised her head catching Elliot's eyes, her own showing the turmoil she felt. "But Richard has some real issues with me, El. And I always got the sense that Maureen just didn't know what to think… She's her Daddy's girl—and I mean that in the most positive way, Elliot… But I think at times she may have seen me as a rival for your attention. She lowered her head again. "And no matter how much they may like me, it doesn't mean your kids are ready to accept me as your girlfriend… I think you're making a lot of assumptions here."

"Liv, I've actually talked with them about us…" Elliot held up his hand when she started to protest. "Wait, Liv… Let me finish." He reached over and gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes once more. "One of the most important things I did over the past ten months was work on my relationship with each of my children… I wanted them to understand what was going on in my life and to know they would always be important to me… Their place in my life and in my heart is forever."

Olivia took his hand and squeezed it gently. "You're such a good Dad, Elliot…I'm so proud of you," she said, bringing his hand to her lips. "If there were more fathers like you, this world would be a much better place… _Our_ jobs would be a hell of a lot easier."

Elliot smiled appreciatively, and continued. "Because Maureen is the oldest—she's a young woman herself now—I felt it was crucial to my relationship with her, to share my feelings for you. She gets it, Liv. She knows you're not the reason my marriage to her mother ended—she understands that. And once she realized how much I love you, and how happy you make me, she encouraged me in every way she could to pursue this. She's our greatest champion, Olivia." He looked down for a moment… When he looked back up he shook his head and she could see a sparkle of humor in his eyes. "And Kathleen was the one who gave me the _'what are you waiting for, Dad—Olivia won't wait forever'_ speech."

Olivia's eyes welled. She was overwhelmed by all Elliot had shared, and more than a little nervous about the role he wanted her to play with his children… But beyond that she was deeply touched that they would welcome her into their lives. Once again she felt slight panic at the loss of control that seemed to come with this relationship, but she loved his children... She'd watched them grow up. They'd been a part of her life for twelve years, mostly in the daily stories Elliot shared with her—but she'd actually had lots of hands-on opportunities with them, too. And on a few occasions she'd ended up playing a vitally important role in their lives—especially to Eli and Kathleen.

"What about Richard, El… How does he feel about me?"

Elliot leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "He was a little tougher, Liv… but he came around. Our relationship went through a couple of difficult years. I know he accused you of sleeping with me, and even though I told him it wasn't true at the time, he didn't believe me… until recently."

Olivia couldn't hide the distress the conversation was causing her. "How did you convince him…? And how do you know he believes you now, Elliot?"

"We both worked very hard at rebuilding the trust between us… We'd said some pretty hurtful things to each other, and it took a lot of work to make it right—but we did it. We're good now, Liv—I promise." He reached over and took Olivia's hand, holding it between both of his. "The funny thing is… Dickie was crazy about you from the first time he met you, when he was just a little guy. He went through a stage, about the time he was twelve or thirteen—just before he hit puberty—when he had a wicked crush on you, Liv. Lizzie used to tease him mercilessly," he said, chuckling at the memory.

"Wow… Why didn't I ever know about it? Why didn't you tell me, El?"

Believe me, Liv, that's not the kinda thing I could've shared with you… It's hard enough to be a pre-teen boy having those feelings for an older woman. He would have been mortified if he ever thought you knew it."

"Yeah… I guess you're right," she said with a rueful shake of her head. "No wonder he was so pissed at me when he thought I was sleeping with his 'old man,' El," she teased.

"Yeah." Elliot straightened up, and leaned back against the couch. "There's no denying how close you and I were, Liv… I mean, you have to admit we were abnormally close, even for partners. And I think Dickie just tuned in to it more…" He shot her a look of amusement. "Probably because he was paying closer attention... And I'm sure he heard Kathy and me fighting about you."

"Wait a minute… What the hell, Elliot! What do you mean 'fighting' about _me_?" Olivia pushed further into her corner, creating more distance between them, and crossed her arms in front of her. "Why in hell would you be fighting about me?"

Elliot sighed, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. He turned, angling his body until he was facing Olivia. "Liv, things between me and Kathy hadn't been good for a long time. Our sex-life wasn't that great for most of the last ten years of our marriage, and we barely talked: I didn't want to tell her about the horrors of my job and I just didn't have anything else to say to her. And everything she said to me had to do with problems—you know, bills, kids, fixing things around the house… So I mostly shut down and tuned her out." He hesitated, breaking eye contact for just a moment. "I'm not proud of it," he whispered.

When he looked back up, he gazed into her eyes and continued speaking, his voice wistful. "But then you'd call, and I'd suddenly come alive again—be energized—be ready to take on the next case—almost be relieved to get out of the house. And Kathy just thought it was because it was you… I could talk to you forever, Liv—about anything. And I guess I mentioned you a lot around the house. So—that's what we fought about… I can see where Dickie could have gotten the wrong idea."

"Jeez, ya think, El…! No wonder Kathy hates me, and Richard thought we were sleeping together."

"Olivia, I didn't even know I had feelings for you, at that point. Richard doesn't believe we slept together… not anymore. And Kathy doesn't hate you. I think at times she may have wished she could... I think it's fair to say you'll never be best friends—but she doesn't hate you. She has a lot of respect for you, Olivia. My god, you saved her and Eli's lives—she could never forget that..."

She started to speak, but Elliot continued.

"And they _all_ know we didn't sleep together: It was very important to me that my family believed me about that, Liv. God, I never even allowed myself to fantasize about you, Olivia… I mean, not in _that_ way—at least not until I was divorced, he said shyly, risking a quick glance at her. "I used to wonder what it would be like to kiss you, though, and I guess I daydreamed about you. And I've always thought you were gorgeous… Sometimes when we stood a little too close I would catch the scent of your shampoo or perfume—then it was a hell of a lot harder not to think about you. But I tried very hard not to—out of respect for you and our partnership—and for Kathy and our marriage… and for myself."

Olivia was moved by his admission. She leaned closer to him, taking his face in her hands and gently kissing his lips. "You're such a good man, Elliot Stabler… I don't think you realize what a good person you are, El." She looked down for a moment and when she raised her head again, he could see tears glistening in her eyes. "You always say you don't deserve me—how lucky you are to have me. It's not true, Elliot. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I can't believe you love me… I've never done anything to deserve you, El."

Elliot wrapped his arms around her cradling her to him as though she were a precious treasure to be adored and protected. "You make me so happy, Olivia… I never knew I could be this happy." His voice was choked with emotion and he just held her until he regained his control. "I don't know why I waited so long, baby… That will be my greatest regret…"

"No regrets, El… We _have_ each other now. This is so much more than some people will ever have—and I'm grateful." She held his eyes, as his lips found hers. Their kiss was sweet and gentle… and reverent.

When their lips parted, Elliot continued to hold her, running his hands through her hair and tenderly stroking her back, reveling in the feel of her. He finally pulled away and she sat back, leaning into the couch cushions. "Hey Liv, I wanted to ask you something."

"What, El?" she said softly.

"Will you spend part of tomorrow with me and Eli? The weather's supposed to be great, so I'm gonna take him to the park—get him outside for a change." He looked at her, his expression eager and hopeful. "Maybe you could meet us there and go out to lunch with us…? I know he'd love it, and I sure would…"

"Yeah… I'd really like that, El. Are you sure Kathy will be okay with it?"

"I promise you, she will be… We've discussed it, Liv. She knows I want you to fully participate in my children's lives. She understands and supports it… And she knows how hard _I'm_ working to let Tony—a _stranger_ to me—into their lives. You're someone she knows and trusts… Believe me, it's not a problem, Olivia."

"Okay. You tell me when and where and I'll show up," she agreed, smiling happily.

He reached over taking her hand. "Do you know how much I'm gonna miss you this weekend…? I've gotten used to having you around, baby… This is gonna _suck_." He sounded so dejected Olivia couldn't help laughing.

He gave her a wounded look. "Aren't you gonna miss _me_… even a little?"

Olivia stood, reaching down to take his hand, and pulled him to his feet. "I'm gonna miss you a whole lot, detective, and I don't think we should waste any more time… Besides, you still don't know what's under my sweatshirt," she smirked, dragging him toward the bedroom.

**TBC**

**Thank you for reading! The second chapter will be posted in one week. **


	2. Chapter 2

**NEW BEGINNING**

**Thanks so much for reading the first chapter…and for the reviews! I know this chapter is a day earlier than I promised, but I had the time and wanted to get it up. My plan is to post a new chapter every weekend. Just a warning… Lots of hot E/O sexy lovin' in this one… Hope you enjoy!**

_Olivia stood, reaching down to take his hand, and pulled him to his feet. "I'm gonna miss you a whole lot, detective, and I don't think we should waste any more time… Besides, you still don't know what's under my sweatshirt," she smirked, dragging him toward the bedroom._

**Chapter 2**

Elliot shed his clothes, leaving only his boxers to cover his growing erection… He sat on the edge of the bed and eagerly pulled Olivia onto his lap, causing her sweatshirt to ride up.

Draping one arm around his shoulder, Olivia swiveled her hips, tugging the shirt back down, and leaned into his massive chest. "Is there something you wanted, detective?" she asked, looking innocently up at him from under the fringe of her lashes.

Elliot growled low in his throat… He was done with her game: He claimed her lips forcing them open with his tongue while wrapping a hand in her hair, tilting her head back to expose her neck. Placing his hot mouth at the base of her throat, he assaulted her with his lips, his tongue, and his teeth, until he reached that special spot just below her ear—the one that drove her crazy… He teased at it, nipping and sucking until she moaned softly, the sound carrying directly to his already engorged cock. Her body quivered as he slowly slid his other hand up one of her shapely legs and over her thigh—his fingers drawn to her center like heat-seeking missiles. Burning curiosity had turned to a raging inferno, and when his fingers reached her core and connected with her warm wet curls and nothing more, the hardness in his boxers throbbed and his intake of breath was audible. "Ooh, baby," he groaned, slipping a finger inside her wetness. "How often do you not wear panties, Liv?"

"Is there a reason you need that informa-a-ation?" she taunted him, her words faltering as he slid another finger inside her—moving with a skill that took her breath away—causing her to forget everything except the fire he was fueling between her legs. "Oh fu-uck, El," she whimpered.

His voice was guttural as his need for her grew. "I can think of all kinds of reasons I need that information, baby," he growled. He stood quickly with Olivia in his arms and laid her deftly on the bed, so fast she hardly had time to miss his fingers before they were back inside her, fanning the flame. He reached up under the sweatshirt with his free hand and fondled her breasts, gently squeezing and kneading, finding each nipple and rolling it into a tight bud between his fingers.

Olivia was beyond words now, her soft moans spurring him on... Grasping her hips, he drew her down until she was perched on the edge of the bed, bracing herself with her feet. Elliot spread her knees, grinning at the glistening vision that lay before him… He knelt down: Placing a hand on each thigh, he gently parted her slick folds with his thumbs and lowered his face to her core. He slowly licked her slit, gliding from bottom to top, sliding his tongue between her lips. He was unable to stifle his own moan as he tasted her for the first time. "Mmmm… Oh God, Liv, you taste so goddamn good, baby." Eagerly folding his mouth around her, he kissed and licked, her taste driving him wild. He pushed his tongue deeper, probing her depths—then dragged it slowly over her swollen clit.

She squirmed beneath him, her moans louder as she arched into him, her fists gripping either side of the bed, seeking an anchor. Elliot pulled his mouth away long enough to slip his fingers back inside, moving them slowly, sliding in and out. He continued his ministrations with his mouth, nipping and sucking, laving special attention on the sensitive nub that was the center of her pleasure, until Olivia was writhing, her moans a pleading chant. "El-liot, please—oh god—so soo good… Make me come, El—I ne-eed it—plee-ease," she whimpered.

Elliot placed his hands under her shapely ass, sinking his fingers into her cheeks and lifting her to him. She surprised him, hooking her long, sexy legs over his shoulders and grinding her feet into his back… Thrusting her pelvis forward, she trapped him there with her thighs. "El, please… I need you—now," she commanded breathlessly.

This woman was beyond the sexiest thing he'd ever encountered: His cock jerked and the pressure in his balls intensified… He was sure he'd spontaneously combust if he didn't soon get the relief he so desperately needed himself. He turned his attention back to her hot center and gently sucked her clit into his mouth, nipping with his teeth, and flicking with his tongue while he drove his fingers deeper still, twisting to increase the sensation. Her thighs tightened in a vise around his neck and her walls clenched around his fingers, until he was barely able to move them. He gave a flick with his tongue and a final push with his fingers and then she was screaming his name, her hot juices flowing into his mouth—her orgasm ripping her apart. He licked her gently, savoring every drop, as she spiraled down. His name was still on her lips—tempering in a slow crescendo—from scream-to moan-to whimper.

Her legs relaxed and fell from his shoulders and Elliot slowly pulled away, catching his breath and allowing her time to recover… He knew how sensitive she would be, and as much as he wanted to find his own release, he wouldn't do anything that would cause her discomfort. He ran his tongue over the wetness on his lips, delighting in her lingering taste.

Olivia wasn't sure she could ever move again; he'd left her so completely sated her limbs were boneless and refused to respond to the commands she was sure her brain was firing. What this man could do to her was mind-shattering… He took her to heights her body had never experienced—and his touch reached into her soul.

When she found the will to move, she scooted up further on the bed, and propped herself on the backs of her elbows. "Hey, Stabler…" she teased in a throaty whisper, making his throbbing cock twitch. Her brown eyes were half-closed—her voice breathy and low, and oozing sex. "…_that_ was amazing."

Elliot thought his knees would give out as he made his way to her side. He ridded himself of his boxers and lowered himself onto the bed, settling beside her. His weight caused her to fall into him and he gave a low hiss when her hip grazed his raging erection. Leaning over her he ran his fingers through her silky hair, brushing the damp tendrils off her face. "Oh yeah…?" he rasped, with a cocky grin. "Well—that's what happens when you go around with no panties, Benson."

"Really…?" she questioned, her eyes challenging him. She placed one hand on his chest and slowly traced her fingers down over the taut muscles of his stomach with the other, until she reached her destination. "So…" she sassed, as she gently scraped her nails along his hard length, causing him to groan loudly. "…was I being punished—or rewarded?"

Elliot was certain he was going to explode if he didn't take her, now. In one quick move he was straddling her and tugging the sweatshirt up and off her body. When she was naked beneath him, he looked down, his eyes smoldering. "Ooh, baby…" he groaned, "…I'm just getting ready to reward you."

* * *

Elliot opened his eyes trying to register his surroundings… He sensed movement beside him and turned toward it, his eyes lighting up as they settled on her sleeping form. She was just beginning to stir and he leaned over and gathered her in his arms, pulling her to him.

"Mmmm… What're you doin'…?" she mumbled groggily, nestling into his chest.

"I missed you," he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"You can't miss me, El… I haven't gone anywhere." She snuggled closer and buried her face in the crook of his arm, trying to block out the late afternoon sun streaming through the window.

"But you weren't in my arms—and I missed you." He ran his hand down over her warm, still-naked body, watching her with an indulgent smile. Her lips were kiss-swollen and pouty, and her messy hair framed her sleepy face. "You know you're adorable dontcha, Benson?"

She made a half-hearted attempt to punch his arm. "Take that back, Stabler," she grumbled sleepily."

"What's the matter…? You afraid you're gonna lose your 'bad-ass' reputation?" He continued to explore her, until she grabbed his hand, stopping him before he reached his intended goal.

"Is it your intention to fuck me senseless, Elliot?" She opened one eye, braving the bright sunlight, and peered up at him.

"Hey, I can't help it if you're an insatiable nymphet," he teased, rolling her onto her back and holding her wrists above her head, his body pressing into hers.

She struggled against him. "Sorry, Stabler… This isn't happening."

"Aw, come on, baby… Why not? You know you want it," he cooed in her ear. He held her tighter, making a move to straddle her.

She jerked her body away, deflecting the motion. "Don't make me hurt you, Elliot. I have to pee… Get - off - me!"

Elliot looked down at her, quickly loosening his grip on her wrists… and then saw the laughter in her eyes. Before she could escape, he leaned back in and grabbed her wrists again, holding them tight.

"Elliot," she whined, suppressing a grin. "I'm serious… I really do have to pee. You've gotta let me go."

He leered down at her. "Are you coming back?"

She rolled her eyes. "What are my choices, El…? I have to promise I'll be back or you'll force me to stay here, and—what… wet the bed?" She tried to look stern, but failed, and he reached down and kissed her exposed neck, just above her collar bone. She squirmed beneath him. "I'd kick your ass, Stabler, if I didn't have to go so bad," she groaned, looking up at him beseechingly.

"I'm waiting for your answer, Benson… Are you gonna come back?"

"Yes, I'll come back," she huffed. "Now let me go."

He reluctantly loosened his grip on her, and she pushed him away, scampering off the bed and into the bathroom.

Elliot lay there with his eyes closed, waiting for her return. He grinned to himself, thinking about how much he enjoyed the banter and teasing between them. He loved this side of her—a side he didn't often get to see. He thought about how sexy she was, and the affect just being near her had on him. He'd been in a constant state of arousal for the past forty-eight hours, in spite of the many times she'd made him come… Now that he'd had full access to her body, he just couldn't get enough of her… He felt like a horny adolescent.

Minutes passed. He'd heard the toilet flush, and the water running while she brushed her teeth, but still she hadn't returned… He realized it was now completely quiet in the bathroom. Damn it! She must have sneaked into the kitchen, while he'd had his eyes closed. He sprinted out of bed and grabbed his sweats, trying to pull them on without actually stopping. Still tugging on the drawstring of his sweatpants, he stepped quietly into the kitchen, and found her pouring herself a cup of tea while the coffee maker chugged in the corner. She was wearing the sweatshirt again—looking sexy as hell.

Leaning back against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest, he watched her for a moment before clearing his throat to get her attention. She jumped and looked over, her eyes meeting his.

"You lied to me," he accused.

She held his gaze, her eyes showing humor and a hint of defiance. "It was a hostage situation, so I was allowed to lie." She moved toward him, giving a disarming smile, before continuing her defense. "Besides, I didn't say _when _I'd be back, so technically, I didn't lie at all," she quipped sassily. She slowly closed the distance between them, and leaned into him, splaying her hands across his naked chest. "And, I'm making coffee," she said matter-of-factly, as though that should excuse any impropriety on her part.

He looked down at her, his eyes half-closed. "Let's see. Coffee—or mind-blowing sex with Benson… Sorry, Olivia, coffee doesn't cut it." He wrapped his arms around her and attempted to corral her in the direction of the bedroom.

"Mind-blowing…? Mmmm," she mused, attempting to pull out of his grasp. "Elliot, I still need my tea."

"No, I don't think so… Then you'll just have to pee again," he reasoned, pushing her up against the wall, and lowering his lips to hers. He kissed her deeply, and he felt her body melting in to his as she responded, helpless as he plundered her soft mouth.

"But I'm hungry, too," she whined, when he let her come up for air. He pushed his knee between her legs, spreading them just enough… He reached a hand up under the sweatshirt, connecting with her core. He lightly brushed his fingers over her damp curls—feeling how wet she was—causing her to gasp. She bucked against him, still pleading her cause. "I promise I'll come back to bed and let you fuck my brains out in a little while," she bartered, her voice breathy as his hands continued to rove and take what they wanted. She felt like she was waging a losing battle, her body eagerly embracing each new onslaught.

"Ooh, baby… Admit it. Your body's not lying: You want me, Liv—you want me bad."

Goddamn him! Now she _had_ to persist… It had become a battle of wills, and she'd be damned if he was going to be the victor. She realized her body was a pawn in the hands of the enemy, and if he didn't immediately stop touching her in all the right places she wasn't going to win—so she tried a new tact. She looked up at him, shamelessly batting her eyelashes in a very un-Olivia fashion, her voice sultry and seductive, drawing out each word. "Elliot… If you take your hands off me right now, so I can have my tea, and a bite to eat, I promise I'll do whatever you want, for as long as you want me to do it." She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and held it for a moment before tantalizingly running her tongue up over her teeth and slowly tracing it along her top lip. "_Anything—_you—want."

Elliot felt his knees go weak. "Jesus, Olivia. You kill me… You're so goddamned sexy," he groaned. "_Anything_…?" His eyes glazed over at the thought.

"Anything," she purred.

He dropped his hands to his sides. "Okay… You win."

Olivia stepped away from him, making sure she was out of arm's reach. "Wow… you're easy," she smirked, sashaying over to her tea and taking a deep swallow.

Elliot was at her side in two strides… He reached for her, growling low in his throat.

"Unh, uh—we have an agreement, Stabler. Hands off until I come back to the bedroom," she taunted, ducking away from his grasp.

"You don't play fair," he complained, looking like he'd been cheated out of his favorite dessert.

"Oh, and I suppose you do…?" she scoffed. "It's okay for you to sexually molest me, but I can't make eyes at you?" She walked over and opened the refrigerator, searching for something to snack on. "You hungry?"

He took a step closer, striking a threatening pose as he loomed over her, "Yeah…" His eyes burned as they raked up and down her body. "You bet I'm hungry," he growled.

She glanced up at him. "You want something to eat? _Besides_ me," she asked, ignoring his attempt to intimidate her. "Thanks to you, we've got stuff for sandwiches," she said, poking around in the fridge and pulling out some yogurt for herself.

"They don't call you 'Badass' for nothin', Benson," he grumbled. "Yeah, I'll make myself a sandwich—when you get out of my way… I wouldn't wanna be accused of _molesting_ you."

Olivia gave him a saucy smirk and sauntered into the living room. She settled herself on the couch with her tea and yogurt, curling her legs under her. Elliot joined her shortly, placing his cup on the coffee table and positioning himself beside her, being careful to sit far enough away that they had no physical contact.

"What'd you make?" she asked him, reaching over to inspect the sandwich he was holding.

"Hey, hands off! You said no contact until the bedroom, remember…?" She pulled her hand away giving him a dubious look with the raise of an eyebrow. "Besides, you could have asked for a sandwich when I was making mine, if you'd wanted one… It's too late now," he grumbled, leaning into the couch cushions.

"Wow! You're cranky when you're horny…" she muttered, nestling into her corner. I didn't say I _wanted_ one… I was just curious. Besides, I'm perfectly capable of making my own."

He ignored her and attacked his sandwich. When he finished he gave a sheepish grin. "Guess I was hungry, too," he allowed, licking his fingers. He hesitated a moment. "Did you?" he asked.

Olivia looked confused. "Did I what…?"

"Want a sandwich."

"No… I'd have made one if I'd wanted it," she replied scornfully, trying to keep a straight face.

"Okay." A few moments passed before he spoke again, his expression contrite. "Just so you know… I'd go make one for you if you wanted it."

"I'm fine, Elliot," she laughed. "I don't need _or_ want a sandwich… We're good."

"Can we just hold hands until we go back into the bedroom…? I need to touch you," he said softly, reaching his hand to hers.

Olivia took it, interlocking her fingers with his, and smiled over at him. "Yeah, I need to touch you, too."

Elliot cleared his throat nervously. The look in his eyes was hopeful… and a little sad. "If I promise not to molest you, can I hold you?" he pleaded.

Olivia was in his arms before he could finish speaking. "El, you know I'm only teasing, right?" she asked, her brown eyes wide with concern.

He pulled her close wrapping his arms around her, and burying his face in her hair to hide his smirk. "Gotcha!" he whispered in her ear.

She struggled against him. "You son-of-a-bitch! Let me go… I thought you were serious," she sputtered, trying in vain to pull out of his arms.

"I am. I _really_ want to hold you—and I promise I'll keep my hands to myself. I wouldn't wanna mess up 'anything' on a technicality." His chuckle was lecherous.

She stopped struggling and leaned in to him, resting her head on his chest. "You're such a jackass."

"Yeah, but I'm your jackass." He settled them more comfortably. "And you _wanna _be in my arms, don't you?" He smiled down at her, trying to catch her eye.

"Hmmph," she grunted, refusing to engage with him, but snuggling deeper.

He held her close rubbing circles on her back, a smile on his face. They held each other contentedly for several minutes, before Elliot pulled away and looked down at her. "Hey, Liv, I've been meaning to ask… Are you going back to work on Monday?"

She groaned and struggled to a sitting position, while managing to stay in his arms. "I have an appointment with Cragen Monday morning…" She hesitated and then lifted her eyes to his. "I'm not so sure I'll be staying, though," she said quietly.

"Why? What's going on, Liv…?"

She answered before he could press further. "I thought about what you said—you know, about the flash-back and the black-out... You were right—he needs to know. And I need to find out what's going on." She lowered her eyes, and continued, softly. "I just don't know what to expect… He may give me desk duty—or he might send me home until we get some answers. I made an appointment with my therapist, Dr. Fulton—I'll be seeing her on Monday afternoon… And if she tells me to see my physician, I'll do that too."

"Wow! Olivia, are you okay? I mean, that couldn't have been easy, baby…. Why didn't you tell me?" He placed his hand under her chin and raised her eyes to his again. "That's why I'm here, Liv—to share this kinda stuff so you don't have to go through it alone… That's what happens in a relationship," he said gently.

"Yeah…?" She searched his eyes—needing to be reassured. "It's hard, El—I'm so used to doing it all on my own… It's gonna take some getting used to." She curled deeper into his arms and held on like he might disappear if she let him go.

"Liv, you don't have to go through anything alone, ever again, baby. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I want to know about everything—because if it affects you, it affects me."

She didn't reply, but continued to hold onto him. He felt a tremor course through her body, and he understood she was fighting for control. "Hey, Liv… It's okay. It's gonna be alright," he crooned, rocking her gently. She maintained her silence and her tight grasp on him, until he placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her body from his—just enough to look into her eyes. "You're scared, aren't you, Olivia?"

She quickly turned her face from him, but not before he saw the moisture pooling in her beautiful brown eyes. Just as quickly, she sat up and swiped at her cheeks, brushing away a single tear—managing a self-conscious smile. "I'm not scared, El—I'm nervous… Which is stupid, because I'm not even worried. I honestly think there's a perfectly logical, non-medical, explanation. I really believe I'd been under so much strain over the last eighteen months, and events just coincided, bringing everything to a head. I feel fine—especially now," she admitted, with a grateful smile. "I've had very few feelings of panic, and almost no thoughts of Sealview. Not since the night you held me—after I had the nightmare."

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled her into his chest, placing kisses on her forehead and in her hair. "That's wonderful, Liv—I've been wondering…" His voice was thick with emotion, but he persisted. "I mean, it seems like it hasn't been a problem for you—you know—when we make love. Or when we talk about being together… But I wasn't sure."

Olivia looked up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears, and full of love. "Elliot, I've never felt so safe, or so loved, in my life. When I'm with you, my whole world makes sense. I don't feel alone anymore… And I'm not afraid when you're with me—not of anything." She looked down for a moment and shrugged her shoulders. "But I'm still nervous, about this… I guess it's just 'not knowing.' It'll be good to have clearance from my doctors—and to not feel like I'm hiding something from Cragen anymore. I care too much about him… He doesn't deserve that—not from me."

Elliot tenderly raised her face to his and leaned to kiss her. "Thank you, Olivia… I need to know you're okay, too. And I'll be here—I'll come with you… To see Cragen—to go to your appointments—whatever you need. I'm here."

"I know you are, El." Pressing her lips to his she kissed him sweetly. "Thank you. I'll go see Cragen and my therapist by myself. But I'd love it if you'd come with me if I've gotta see my physician—or have any tests… I hate doctors and hospitals," she said with a shudder.

"I know you do, baby. And I'll be there." He slowly stood, pulling her up with him. He bent down, kissing her with such tenderness and passion she melted in his arms. "I think we should continue this in the bedroom," he whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. "And, Liv, I don't want to collect on 'anything' tonight… I just wanna make love to you, baby. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," she moaned, her eyes heavy with desire. "But I won't forget, El… I _always_ pay my debts," she said breathily, giving him a sexy wink as she led him to the bedroom.

**TBC**

**Hope you enjoyed it! See you next weekend with a new chapter… **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the reviews… They are much appreciated!**

_**Previously, from Chapter 1**_

"_Will you spend part of tomorrow with me and Eli? The weather's supposed to be great, so I'm gonna take him to the park—get him outside for a change." He looked at her, his expression eager and hopeful. "Maybe you could meet us there and go out to lunch with us…? I know he'd love it, and I sure would…"_

**Chapter 3**

"Do it again, 'Livia," Eli squealed, pumping his little legs for all they were worth to keep up the momentum of the swing. Olivia laughed heartily—enjoyment obvious on her face. She slowed the wildly careening swing, lined it up and ducked under it, running far enough away to clear it—for what had to be the tenth time—giving him a much more exhilarating ride than he would have received by just being pushed.

Elliot sauntered over to them, an elated grin on his face as he watched his youngest child revel in the attention she was lavishing on him. He'd been thrilled when Olivia followed through with their plans to meet at the park, and she and Eli were clearly having a wonderful time together. He stood still for a moment just taking in the scene, marveling once again at the happiness she brought to his life. "Hey there, tiger, how 'bout giving Olivia a break," he called, chuckling at their antics. "Lunch is ready, anyway." The weather was warm and breezy, so they'd decided on a picnic in the park. He walked over to the swing bringing it to a stop. Lifting Eli, he threw him up into the air, eliciting another squeal from the delighted boy, before settling him in his arms.

"What'd 'cha get us, Daddy?"

"I got a hotdog for you, buddy, and pizza for me and Liv… Just like you guys ordered."

"She's not a guy, Daddy… She's a girl," he pointed out, causing Elliot to roll his eyes and Olivia to snicker behind him.

"You got that right, buddy…," he snorted. "…she's _all _girl." He reached for her, and playfully drew her to his side. Wrapping an arm around her he groped for her breast, making sure Eli was unaware. She gave a low hiss, jabbing him in the ribs, and pulled out of his arms.

Running on ahead, she reached the table and started spreading out the food Elliot had picked up from nearby vendors. "Hey, Eli, you want milk or water?"

"Well, 'Livia…" he said in his best grown-up voice as his father lowered him to the ground, "I'm really, really thirsty, so I want water first… and then I want milk."

Olivia looked up from her preparations and smiled indulgently at the little boy, handing him the bottle of water she'd just opened.

He accepted it gratefully and plunked himself down on the picnic bench in front of his hot dog. "Will you sit 'side me, 'Livia," he asked, smiling up into her eyes, looking both hopeful, and confident that his request would be granted.

Olivia smiled back, assuring him she would, recognizing the same look she'd seen in his father's eyes many times in the last few days. She looked over at Elliot who was giving her a knowing smirk. Spending time with the Stabler boys was something she could definitely get used to she decided, shaking her head. She walked to Eli's side of the table and lifted her long legs over the bench, settling in and snuggling up close to him. "How's that…?" she crooned, looking down at him.

"That's good, 'Livia." He gave her a quick grin—again reminding her of his father, and turned his attention back to his hotdog.

"Hey, buddy… Her name is O-livia, not 'Livia," Elliot explained patiently to his son, tucking himself into the bench on the opposite side of the table.

"I don't mind if Eli calls me 'Livia." She smiled down at his ketchup-covered face, and lifted her water bottle to her lips, drinking deeply.

"You won't let _me_ call you 'Livia." Elliot looked over at her with what could only be described as an indignant pout, causing her to inhale the water she was trying to swallow, making her choke. She laughed and coughed, tears sliding down her cheeks as she tried to bring the choking under control, sending Eli into fits of giggles. Elliot jumped up, ran to her side, and started pounding on her back. "Seriously, Elliot…?" she sputtered, as water dribbled down her chin. "…it's just water—I'm fine," she gasped.

Eli managed to get himself under control and sat peering up at the adults. "Daddy, is 'Livia, I mean, O, 'Livia, your girlfriend?" he asked innocently, not seeming too invested in the answer, and sending Olivia into another paroxysm of coughing. "…'Cause Mommy said she was…"

Elliot gave Olivia up as a lost cause, knowing she didn't need _or_ want his help, and turned his attention to his son, trying to determine exactly how he should answer—deciding on the truth.

"Yeah, buddy—Olivia is my girlfriend…" He reached over and wrapped one arm around his son and the other around Olivia, who had finally stopped coughing. "…and I love her very much." He pulled her to him and placed a kiss in her hair, looking expectantly back down at Eli.

"Okay," he nodded. "Good. Can we go get an ice cream cone now, Daddy?"

Elliot looked at Olivia and they both rolled their eyes. Elliot chuckled, smiling down at his son. "Yeah, we can go get an ice cream cone. Ya gotta give Liv and me a chance to finish our pizza though, okay, buddy?"

"Okay, Daddy… I'm gonna go play on the slide." And with that announcement, he wiped his face on the napkin Olivia handed him, jumped up from the table, and bounded across the grass to the nearby playground equipment.

"Wow," Olivia wheezed, still battling the effects of her choking spell. "Guess he's gonna be okay with it…" She smiled up at Elliot and leaned into him, picking up her pizza to take a bite.

"I told you," he smirked, bumping his hip into her shoulder. He pulled his own pizza toward him from the other side of the table and turned toward the playground, training a watchful eye on his son.

* * *

"Come on Eli… It's time to head home," Elliot called for the third time. The afternoon had been spent eating ice cream, playing rousing games of tag and hide-n-seek, and trying every piece of equipment the playground had to offer, at least five times. It had passed quickly, and it was time to get the little boy home to be fed, bathed, and into his pajamas. "This is it, buddy… This is the last time I'm gonna call ya. After this you start losing privileges."

"Aww, Daddy… Me and 'Livia are havin' a lotta fun. We don't wanna leave, do we, 'Li - I mean O, 'Livia?" He looked beseechingly up at his new best friend.

Olivia chuckled softly at his attempt to say her name, still managing to make it sound like two names instead of one. She knelt beside him in the cedar chips that were strewn around the playground, taking his hands in hers and smiling as she looked at his serious little face. "We _are_ having a lot of fun, Eli… But I think your dad has some other things planned for you, and it's getting kinda late. I've gotta be going, too, sweetie."

Eli's eyes got big and started to pool with tears. "Aren'tcha gonna come with us, O, 'Livia?" I wanna show you my new room at Daddy's house, and I want you to read me a bedtime story," he sniffled, his big blue eyes pleading with her. Before she could respond Eli had jumped up and raced to his father's side. "Daddy, can't she come with us…? I really, really want _her_ to come, too." He'd reached up and grabbed his father's hand and was dragging him over to where Olivia now stood, brushing cedar chips from the knees of her jeans.

Elliot grinned at her. "You know we'd both love to have you come over, Liv. You could see my place, and help me get him settled in for the night. Then maybe you and I could order some take-out. Whaddya say…?"

Elliot looked just as hopeful as Eli did, and Olivia knew she was fighting a losing battle: It was hard enough to turn down one Stabler man when he had his baby blues trained on you… But two—it just wasn't possible. She reached town and tousled Eli's brown curls. "I guess I'm coming home with you, Eli."

Olivia laughed and caught the happy little boy as he took a flying leap, landing in her arms and giving her a big hug. "I really, really love you, O, 'Livia." Now it was time for her eyes to tear-up… Elliot grinned at her and reached his arms around the two of them, holding them tight.

* * *

The evening was flying by as quickly as the afternoon had… After Eli had conducted a tour of his bedroom, Olivia had supervised his bath and helped him into his pajamas. Elliot prepared a small meal of his favorites—Chicken Nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and the requisite vegetable—peas. He'd finished eating, and Elliot was cleaning up, while Olivia read the book Eli had insisted only _she_ could read to him.

"Hey, you two…" Elliot poked his head around the door of Eli's bedroom, where Olivia and the little boy were laying across his bed, helpless with laughter as they worked their way through the story. He walked over to the bed. "I've never _heard_ so much giggling," he declared, standing over them and peering down at the book. "What are you reading?"

"Skippyjon Jones, Class Action," they both answered at the same time, sending them into new fits of laughter.

"I don't remember it being _that _funny." He looked down at the two of them, savoring the sheer delight they were taking in each other's company.

"It is when O, 'Livia reads it, Daddy. She makes all the sounds and has a accent and sings the songs an' ev'rything," Eli spouted excitedly as he bounced up and down on the bed, nearly making Olivia seasick.

"Singing _and_ an accent… Wow! That's something I've gotta see," he declared, amusement dancing in his eyes, as he glanced at her. She raised her eyebrows at him—clearly indicating his chances of witnessing those particular talents were slim to none.

Olivia counted the pages that remained to be read. "We have three pages left, and then he'll be ready to be tucked in, Dad," she said, smiling up at Elliot.

When he looked at her, he nearly forgot to take his next breath… He'd seldom seen such happiness on her beautiful face, and it left him speechless. He reached his hand down and caressed her cheek as he looked into her eyes, his own shining with an emotion she couldn't identify.

"What is it, El?"

He just shook his head, smiling into her eyes as he bent to place a lingering kiss on her lips. Eli watched, his face scrunching up to show his disapproval. "Yuck!"

Elliot turned and grabbed the little boy, tickling him until he was shrieking with laughter. When he'd had enough, he rolled him back over to Olivia's side. "You and Liv go ahead and finish up your story, and then I'll come back and tuck you in, buddy," he said, ruffling his curls and giving Olivia a wink, before walking out of the bedroom.

Eli had finally settled down and fallen asleep, takeout had been ordered and eaten, and now Olivia sat on the couch waiting for Elliot to take a quick peek at his son. She closed her eyes, leaning back to rest her head against the cushions, reflecting contentedly on their day… She noted how tired she was, amazed at how much energy needed to be expended to keep up with one small child. She smiled as she thought about the fun they'd had and the many times Eli had made her laugh… Not just chuckles—full-blown, from the gut, belly laughs. Her sides ached from it, but her spirits were soaring. Maybe this thing with Elliot's children could work, she mused, realizing that Eli would naturally, be the easiest.

Elliot returned to the living room and smiled tenderly at the scene that greeted him. A very sleepy Olivia was dozing on the couch, looking as peaceful as he'd ever seen her, pure contentment gracing her lovely face. He sat next to her, and slipped his arms around her, pulling her to him.

"Uhmm… I must have drifted off," she mumbled drowsily. "It takes a lot of energy to keep up with that little guy."

"Yeah, you're right about that… But I think you might have overdone it—just a bit," he teased, grinning at her. "He had a blast, Liv." Elliot shook his head and chuckled. "How could he miss…? You catered to his every desire." He leaned in to kiss her lips, eagerly pressing her to open to him, and she met his tongue with her own. "Just like you do with his Dad," he groaned into her mouth. "Oh, baby, I missed this… Do you know how hard it was to keep my hands off you today?"

"I got that vibe a few times," she snickered, rolling her eyes at him and pulling out of his arms. "And we're not gonna start anything now… Not with your son two rooms away."

"Are you kidding me…? He's konked out… And he sleeps like a hibernating bear. That's why I went to check on him." Elliot moved to pull her back into his arms, but she resisted, pushing her hands against his chest.

"Elliot, I'm not doing this… Not until he—and the rest of your kids—have had more time to adjust to our relationship. We don't need to flaunt this side of it in their faces, El." She leaned in to him and rested her head on his chest. "There's nothing I would rather do right now than crawl into your bed and spend the rest of the night in your arms. But this… We're doing this _my_ way."

"Okay." Elliot held her to him and ran his hands lovingly through her hair. "You're right." He leaned down and kissed her forehead, holding her tenderly before speaking again. "God, I love you, Liv. You have such good instincts—you always know what's right… And you do it—no matter how hard it is, or how much you have to sacrifice your own needs."

She pulled away from him. "Don't make me sound like a saint, Elliot," she snapped. "This is gonna be as hard for me as it is for you." She sighed irritably, moving further away from him and leaning back against the couch.

He grinned over at her, pleased that she was struggling with it, too—knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her. "That's kinda the whole point, Liv… It's hard—but you do it because it's right."

"Yeah. Okay." She ran her hand through her hair—her signature move when she was frustrated. "If I'm gonna _not _do this," she grumbled, "I've gotta leave—right now." Elliot watched with amusement as she slowly dragged herself to her feet, still griping. "…go home to my goddamn vibrator."

Elliot's eyes opened wide and he shot off the couch, grabbing her shoulders. "What was that last part again?"

"What? Elliot, let go of me… I've gotta leave."

"What was that—about a vibrator…?" There was a glint in his eye, and Olivia blushed, realizing what she'd just said… She tried to pull out of his grasp. "Oh, no… You're not going anywhere until we have this conversation, Benson." He gave her a smirk, and then grinned wickedly at her. "Come on, baby, 'fess up… You've got a _vibrator_."

"Grow up, Stabler…" she scoffed, trying to recover her composure. "Every woman with a pulse has a vibrator."

His eyebrows shot up in amazement and Olivia found it difficult to maintain her cranky facade. "Kathy didn't," he blurted.

She lost the battle, and her face broke into a grin. Moving closer she gazed into his eyes. "That's because she had you… _stud_," she whispered breathily. Leaning in, she gave him a searing kiss, and slowly pulled out of his arms. "Sleep tight detective," she purred with a wink—and sashayed out the door.

* * *

Olivia turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying herself quickly. She turned her attention to her hair, taking it out of its clip and allowing the luxurious locks to fall down around her shoulders. She brushed it absently, as her mind wandered to Elliot—surprised at how strange it felt to not have him here with her. Missing him more than she thought was possible, she chided herself for feeling like a love-sick teen-ager when she ought to be enjoying a few hours to herself.

She busied herself with preparations for bed, brushing her teeth and moisturizing her face, and then slipped into a silky camisole and panties. Before shutting off the lights, she located her book—the one she'd been reading before Elliot came along and gave her better things to do at bedtime. After checking the door, turning off the lights, and switching on her bedside lamp, she pulled back the covers, groaning when she caught the slightest whiff of his cologne. The pain of his absence became acute, and she crawled into bed, burying her face in his pillow. She was immediately assailed by his lingering scent, and she clung to the pillow—irritated with her actions—realizing how ridiculously in-love she was with the man. As she settled under the covers, her phone rang, breaking her out of her reverie. She reached for it eagerly, relief washing over her when Elliot's name showed on the screen… Now she wouldn't have to give in to her school-girl impulse—and call him.

"Hey," she said, almost shyly, completely disgusted with herself when she felt her pulse accelerate at the sound of his voice.

"Hey yourself, beautiful… You left me in quite a state, ya know." His voice was low, and husky with want, creating a familiar ache between her legs.

"Oh…? And what state was that…? I could have sworn I left you in New York," she quipped.

"Huh. Funny… You _know _the state you left me in—and you did it on purpose."

"Elliot. What are you accusing me of…?" she provoked, leaning back into her pillows—enjoying the banter.

"You're a Class-A cock-teaser, Benson," he growled.

"Ooh… That's a pretty serious accusation. Guess I'll just have to make it up to you the next time I see you. Too bad you're all tied up for the next twenty-four hours," she taunted, purposely lowering her voice and adding a sultry tone. She could hear Elliot's intake of breath as he hissed into the phone, and she grinned, not in the least bit sorry for tormenting him.

"Where are you?"

"Home. In bed," she added. "Why?'

"What are you wearing?" he asked, his tone demanding.

"Really, Elliot? You're _really _asking me that…?

"Answer the damn question, Benson," he rasped, the sound grating through the phone and raising goose bumps across her chest and down her arms.

"A camisole… and panties," she whispered.

"Do you have your—_vibrator_—in bed there with you?"

"No! I…"

"Good," he barked.

"Good? Are you _jealous_ of my vibrator, Stabler?"

"No! Yes! Maybe... Maybe just _envious_," he admitted irritably.

Olivia was silent for a moment, both amused and stunned by his admission. "Wow! El, my vibrator's got _nothin'_ on you, babe. _Believe me_," she emphasized.

"Yeah…? Tell me, Liv." She heard the teasing note in his voice, but she didn't miss his underlying need to hear her tell him how much she needed him—that he couldn't be replaced by a battery-operated device.

"Elliot, I miss you so much." She hadn't realized how emotional she'd become until she heard the tremulousness in her voice.

"You do?"

"Yeah… So, so much, El."

"Why? What do you miss, Liv?" he asked. "What have I got that your vibrator doesn't have, baby…?"

She could envision the shit-eating grin on his face. "Hmm…" She thought for a moment. "Well, there's the obvious: Your mouth, your lips, and your tongue." She sighed dreamily, "…I love how you kiss me, El."

"And I _love_ kissing you, baby." He hesitated for a moment. "Keep going…" he directed.

She continued to enumerate: "Your gorgeous blue eyes; your big, strong arms and hands, and, oh god—your fingers," she moaned. "Your sexy, broad chest and pecs; your powerful thighs; your tight ass; your big, hard, cock… Agh, Elliot—I _need_ you," she whimpered.

"That's good, baby, 'cause I'm gonna take care of you. Put your phone on speaker, Liv…" His voice was deep—seductive. "Slip your panties off," he commanded.

"Elliot…?"

"Just do as I say, baby… I need you, too," he whispered darkly. It suddenly dawned on her what he wanted—and she was more than happy to oblige. Lifting her hips off the bed, she quickly pushed her panties down to her knees, kicking them the rest of the way off with her feet.

"My panties are off, El," she said with a throaty whisper.

"Ooh, that's good baby. Now, lay back against the pillows… Push your camisole up and start massaging and squeezing your breasts… Pinch your nipples until they're round and hard."

Olivia's fingers slowly inched up under the silky fabric, pushing the garment away from her ample breasts. She trailed a finger over one of her nipples, giving a quiet sigh as the sensation registered in her core. She touched her other breast and gently squeezed. Moaning softly, she manipulated the nipple and it soon became a tight bud between her fingers. She continued her ministrations to both breasts until she felt warm juices pooling between her legs. "El," she whispered. "I'm wet."

She heard Elliot's intake of breath, and his soft grunts, as he stroked himself. "That's great, baby," he groaned. "Reach down and start touching yourself, Liv… Pretend it's me." Elliot's breathing was harsher and coming in short bursts now. "Then slip a finger inside to see if you're ready, just like I do, baby…"

Elliot's husky voice and ragged breathing vibrated through her, and she moaned as she thought about what he was doing to himself. She eagerly followed his instructions, sliding her hand down over her taut belly and stroking her sensitive mound. She slid a finger between her wet folds, and pushed inside, quivering as her velvety soft walls closed tightly around it. She slipped in another and started moving, slowly at first, but the throbbing between her legs demanded more. She pushed her fingers deeper, moving hard and rhythmically, gasping as her thumb found her clit. "Oh, El." Her soft cries became a low, keening moan, as her hips began to thrust, meeting each plunge of her fingers.

She heard Elliot call her name: "Oli-via… Hey, ba-by, slow down" he groaned, struggling to talk as he grew closer and his pumping became more frenzied. "I want us to go to-gether, ba-by… I'm really close," he managed to gasp.

"Mmmm—yeah. Me, too… Sooo close, El."

"Okay, ba-by… Start rub-bing your clit, now. Aww, fu-uuk, Liv… I'm so close, baby."

Olivia knew her body well, and was way beyond the point of waiting for instructions. She continued to push into her depths, twisting her fingers, while her other hand rubbed and pinched her clit, driving her ever closer to the edge… Her cries were guttural. "Fuck, El, I can't… oh god, Elliot, ple-ease, I need…"

"Okay, s'ok-ay," he grunted. "Let go, bab-y—I'm th… Olivia, oh god, O-li-via," he cried out, plummeting over the edge and shooting powerfully into the tissues in his hand, as he tried to muffle his cries—mindful of waking Eli.

Olivia screamed his name as her orgasm rocketed through her. She thrashed her head back and forth against the pillows, her back arching, and her fingers deep inside as her walls pulsed around them, coating them with her juices. When the pulsing subsided, she slowly slid them out and lay there, still murmuring his name. "I wish you were here, El… I need you to kiss me," she sighed.

"Mmmm… Me too, baby… I wanna kiss you."

They lay recovering, listening to each other breathe.

"Olivia… Hey, baby, I love you so much. I wish I could hold and kiss you all night, Liv."

"I love you, too, El—more than I ever could have imagined," she murmured. She sounded drowsy and content—ready to drift off to sleep. "I miss you, Elliot."

"I miss you, too, baby… It sucks not having you in my arms," he grumbled. "But we'll be together soon. I'm coming over tomorrow, as soon as I drop Eli off… I'll bring dinner—I made lasagna and still have a batch in the freezer."

"Mmmm… Good. I can't wait to see you, El."

"Me too, baby. He hesitated a moment. "Uh, I'm '_collecting_' after dinner, Liv," he informed her with a soft chuckle.

"Mmmm. Okay." she mumbled sleepily.

"And Liv… I want you to show me your vibrator, baby," he growled.

Olivia was silent for so long, Elliot wondered if she'd fallen asleep. "Liv…?"

"Uh… Which one, El? Which vibrator? I've got… several."

The woman was gonna kill him.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading! Chapter 4 will be posted next weekend…**


	4. Chapter 4

**As always, thank you for your reviews… Here is the long-awaited (by some) accounting of how Elliot 'collects' – Definitely 'M' rated…**

"_Me too, baby. He hesitated a moment. "Uh, I'm 'collecting' after dinner, Liv," he informed her with a soft chuckle._

"_Mmmm. Okay." she mumbled sleepily._

"_And Liv… I want you to show me your vibrator, baby," he growled. _

_Olivia was silent for so long, Elliot wondered if she'd fallen asleep. "Liv…?"_

"_Uh… Which one, El? Which vibrator? I've got… several."_

_The woman was gonna kill him._

**Chapter 4**

Olivia's mind wandered as she finished vacuuming and put the cleaner away. She'd seldom tackled this much housework at one time, and she shook her head bemusedly at the affect Elliot Stabler was having on her. She grudgingly admitted there was another reason she'd kept herself so busy: She missed him terribly… It was the first day she'd thought wistfully about what might be happening at the precinct, knowing it would be the kind of distraction that could keep her mind occupied and off Elliot for a few hours—although, she wasn't entirely certain Don Cragen would allow her to come back after she told him about the blackout… at least not until her doctors cleared her. But she'd be back there soon enough, and she was determined to enjoy the time left of her much-needed sabbatical.

She could hardly wrap her head around all that had transpired in the past week. It seemed she'd lived a life-time in the span of seven days. It was incredible to think that one short week ago she'd been, for her, seriously involved with David—and now here she was with Elliot—in a committed relationship. It was mind-boggling, and she chose to not dwell on it.

Instead, she surveyed her handiwork, looking around the freshly scrubbed and tidied apartment while running a mental checklist: Kitchen—done; Bathroom—done; Laundry—done; Bedroom—done. Everything was done. She had just enough time left to go to the market, and get back to dress for their evening.

She remembered with relief that Elliot was bringing dinner, because she was pretty sure she wouldn't have had time to prepare it. Besides, there was no point in encouraging him to think there was any hope of 'domesticating' Olivia Benson… "Never gonna happen," she said out loud, shaking her head as she grabbed her list, keys, and phone, and headed out the door.

* * *

Shopping had taken longer than she'd planned, and Olivia quickly put away the last of the groceries, and headed into the bathroom to run her bath. After regulating the water temperature, she made her way to the bedroom and knelt down in front of her bureau, opening the bottom drawer. She reached toward the back of the drawer and pulled out a black case. Standing, she set it on the end of her bed, and lifted the cover. Inside, the case was divided into sections encased in black velvet, each section holding one, of an array of vibrators in various sizes, shapes and colors.

She recollected with amusement Elliot's intrigue when he'd learned she had one, but how relieved he'd been that she wasn't using it, when he'd called her later… And then his insistence that she show it to him tonight. She shook her head. "Men really never matured beyond adolescence—at least when it came to sex," she thought. She was curious to see his reaction when he discovered she had seven. She lifted one out of the case, but remembered she hadn't laid out her outfit for the evening… She replaced it carefully and went over to the closet.

Flipping through her wardrobe, she quickly found the two-piece loungewear she'd decided on… It was a lovely cut of silk—filmy and flowing, in a rich creamy shade that complimented her coloring. The cowl neck draped loosely in front, low enough to accentuate her cleavage, and the voluminous harem-style pants were slung low, revealing just enough of her hips to tantalize. She could be comfortable _and_ sexy she mused—satisfied with her selection. She took it off the hanger, crossed to her bureau and opened a top drawer, pulling out a bra that would match—satiny and low-cut. She carried the outfit into the bathroom, to check on her rapidly-filling tub.

* * *

Elliot stood in front of Olivia's door, carefully balancing the bundles he was carrying, trying not to drop anything as he searched his pocket for his key. Kathy had asked if he could drop Eli off at 4:30 instead of 5:00, so he was a little earlier than expected. He'd knocked, to no avail, and didn't have the patience to stand out here in the hall juggling the makings of their dinner, while he pounded on the door. He managed to find the key, and unlocked and opened the door… After stepping inside he nudged it shut with his foot, and headed into the kitchen, setting his burdens on the table. He went back to lock the door and removed his jacket, hanging it on the coat rack.

Returning to the kitchen, he placed the still-thawing lasagna on the counter, along with French bread and wine. He put the salad greens and dressing in the refrigerator. Moving nimbly around the kitchen, he drew plates, wine glasses, cutlery, and napkins from the cupboards and drawers and quickly arranged them on the table in a setting for two.

He stepped back to inspect his efforts, and looked around for any sign of Olivia, figuring she was probably in the shower. He moved around the rooms, noticing how spotless and tidy everything was, and grinned to himself—wondering if she'd done it to impress him. As he got closer to the bathroom, he recognized the unmistakable sound of a hair blower—a sound he knew well, having lived in a house with four women. He was anxious to see her and couldn't wait to take her in his arms, but he understood the wisdom of not disturbing a woman who was in the middle of styling her hair—knowing from past experience it seldom ended well.

It was a little early to put the lasagna in to heat, so he decided to make himself comfortable, and stretch out on her bed while he waited. He stepped into the bedroom, completely unprepared for the sight that greeted him still resting on the end of her bed—right where she'd left them. He was sure she must have heard his gasp, as he stared in wonder at the contents of the black case. It wasn't that Elliot had never seen a vibrator, but he'd never had an up-close and personal encounter with one—and now, laid before him were seven—one for every day of the week, he mused, his eyes lighting up. He noted they were all different, and vividly colored. A few of them were different sized replicas of a penis, with surprisingly authentic detail… The others were varying sizes and angles, but all were phallic in shape. A couple of them had smaller appendages attached, apparently for clitoral stimulation.

As Elliot continued to peruse Olivia's collection, he envisioned her using them, and felt his knees go weak, and his cock stir. There was no doubt in his mind what he wanted from Olivia this evening. He chose one of the vibrators from the case—metallic magenta in color—sleek, but bulbous at the end—with an attachment. He gingerly picked it up, checking to be sure the batteries weren't low, and placed it on Olivia's pillow. He carefully closed the case and tucked it under the bed.

Elliot scanned the bedroom… Stepping to the window, he closed the blinds. He looked around until he found matches and quickly lit the candles scattered around the room, casting a warm glow. He decided to turn on the lamp beside the bed, too… He had no intention of missing a thing.

Taking off his shoes and socks, he placed them neatly by the door, and dragged the only chair in the room—a comfortable lounger—closer to the bed, positioning it at a strategic angle. He then sat down to wait.

Moments later he heard the bathroom door open. His jaw dropped as Olivia came into view… She was a vision of loveliness, appearing almost ethereal in her loosely flowing garb, and bare feet—the candlelight making shadows dance behind her on the wall. He continued to stare, incapable of speech until he realized she'd spoken to him. "Jesus, Olivia," he rasped. "You look gorgeous, baby."

He stood up and crossed the room, taking her in his arms and drawing her to him. The filmy material enveloping her soft curves felt good in his arms, quickly pushing his senses into overdrive. Her hair was falling in soft curls around her shoulders and he reached to touch it as he gazed into her eyes. Lowering his lips to hers, he kissed her, tenderly at first, but his passion was roused… He fisted his hands in her hair, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. His mouth became demanding and he grazed his teeth over her bottom lip, begging her for more. She opened willingly, her tongue seeking his—and he was sure he could never get enough of this beautiful woman.

Olivia was slightly unnerved by the unexpected scene in her bedroom, but hadn't had time to dwell on it, since Elliot was intent on devouring her… Not that she was complaining—she'd missed him far too much, and being in his arms was her version of heaven. Just as she was becoming light-headed, he let her up for air. "Elliot," she gasped, trying to catch her breath, "you're early…"

"Yeah—and I'm making up for lost time, baby… God, I missed you," he groaned, as he ravaged her mouth once more. "And I'm here to collect on a debt," he whispered in her ear, sending shivers up her spine. "I believe your exact words were 'anything I want for as long as I want it,' and I know what I want, baby," he growled. The glint in his eye was dangerous, and Olivia swallowed nervously.

"I thought you were 'collecting' _after_ dinner," she murmured.

"I was, but you should be more careful what you leave lying around, Benson. His tone was accusatory—his expression, cocky and sure. "You got me worked up baby, and now you gotta do somethin' about it..."

"Oh." Realization dawned, as he pulled her in for another scorching kiss. When he freed her lips, she looked up at him. "And what exactly is it that you want, Detective Stabler?" she purred, grinding her hips against him, suggestively.

He groaned, his eyes dark with desire. He reached both hands down and cupped her ass pulling her to him, showing her two could play this game—and he was more than ready. He held her in an iron grip, tight against his arousal—not allowing her to move as he lowered his mouth to her ear. "You're not running _this_ show, baby… I'm in charge tonight." The deep vibrations from his voice, his hot breath on her neck, and the pressure of his hard cock tight against her, sent shock waves straight through to her core, leaving her dripping and weak with desire. "The first thing I want you to do is take off my clothes—everything but my boxers. Then I'm gonna sit in the chair—ringside—and watch you perform for me, Olivia… I'll tell you what I want, as we go."

Olivia was so turned on she didn't think she'd be able to stand once he took his hands off her, much less be capable of carrying out his commands—and she was pretty sure she was going to swoon. She'd always wondered how that could happen: How could a woman become so overwhelmed with a man's kiss or touch that she fainted…? She'd always scoffed at the notion—quite certain that the women who were overcome in such a way belonged to a group she categorized as 'ninnies.' Who knew it had been the 'Elliot Stablers' of the world—down through the ages—who were responsible for this phenomenon?

"I don't want you to touch me, Liv… just take my clothes off. Okay?"

She realized he was asking her a question and she managed to mumble, "Okay…," not quite certain what he'd asked or what she'd agreed to…

Elliot slowly released his grip on her ass and lazily dragged his hands up to her hips—his thumbs teasing at the bare skin just above her pants line. "Come on, baby," he breathed into her ear. "Start taking my clothes off… But remember, _don't_ touch me." He lowered his head and grazed his lips along her neck, while she moved her hands to the buttons of his shirt, her fingers fumbling with the first few, until she regained her equilibrium.

She'd managed to relieve him of his shirt, tee shirt, and belt, and he stood there, his glorious physique taunting her in her already aroused state, as she knelt before him, working the zipper of his fly. She'd pulled the zipper down and was tugging on his pants while he watched her, his eyes half closed… The smug grin on his face was beginning to irritate her, and she decided to exercise a little control of her own. She could see his erection through the material of his boxers. Disregarding his instructions to _not _touch him, she stroked her nails over the fabric, connecting with his hardening cock—causing him to hiss. She smiled up at him, feigning innocence.

Before she could move, he grabbed her wrist and jammed her hand to his crotch, holding it there, reflexively thrusting into it. His eyes smoldered as he looked accusingly down at her. "Oooh, baby…" he growled. He released her hand and hauled her up, pulling her roughly into his chest. "…you're in so much trouble." He wrapped his hands in her hair and slammed his lips to hers. When he'd taken what he wanted, he pulled away and looked into her eyes. "You so hate to follow orders, Benson… This is killing you, isn't it," he smirked. Olivia met his eyes and raised her eyebrows, but refused to comment. Instead she looked down at his pants that lay pooled around his feet. "If you'll step out of your pants, I'll take them for you," she said, keeping her voice low and sultry. Elliot did as she suggested, and then seated himself comfortably in the chair, while Olivia gathered his clothes, neatly folding them and setting them out of the way.

"Come over here, baby… Sit on my lap and I'll tell you what I want next." Olivia did as he requested, giving him a sexy smile and settling between his legs. She perched gingerly on his knee—keeping her feet on the floor and her hands to herself, lest she be accused of 'not following orders.' He ran one hand through her hair, letting it rest on the back of her neck, kneading gently, while he reached up under the gauzy material of her blouse with the other… He skimmed his fingers over the strips of satin that covered her breasts until he felt her nipples peak, causing her to gasp—and increasing the pressure in his groin. "I want you to strip for me, Liv…" He'd dropped his voice to a husky whisper. "Nice and slow… And throw your clothes to me, as you take them off."

Olivia could feel a blush creep across her chest and travel up her neck, taking residence on her cheeks. She didn't mind if he saw her naked—god knows she'd been without clothes a good portion of the last several days—and she wasn't self-conscious about her body. But she wasn't an exhibitionist, and she didn't enjoy flaunting herself. Goddamn him! She'd thought he'd ask for a blowjob and be done with it. She'd created a monster… She made a mental note to be careful what she offered in the future.

Rising from his lap, she walked a few feet away and turned to face him. She slowly pulled her arms out of her sleeves and his eyes lit up as he watched her languidly push the top up and over her head, leaving her hair in sexy disarray. She reached up, stretching her torso and lifting her arms to throw the garment to him—the motion enhancing the already generous cleavage overflowing her flimsy bra. His eyes darkened as she leisurely reached around and unclasped the hooks, allowing her breasts to spill out of the scanty material, her nipples peaking in tight buds. She heard him groan as she tossed it in the direction of the chair, and he lunged, catching it… He smiled into her eyes as he rubbed the satiny fabric against his face, breathing in the scent of her perfume that lingered there.

Still facing him, she reached her hands behind her to lower the zipper on her pants. Placing a hand on either side, she pushed the silky material down and off her hips, shimmying as she lowered them to the floor, her breasts jiggling with the motion. She twisted, just enough for Elliot to get a glimpse of her luscious ass, revealing she was wearing no panties. She turned and straightened, exposing the dark triangle between her long legs and heard him gasp. Turning once more, she bent over to pick up the pants—taking her time to be sure he could enjoy the view—eliciting a throaty growl. She sauntered over to the chair and dropped the silky garment, watching it drape over his magnificent chest as it fell.

She stood before him and he gazed up at her voluptuous body, his eyes glazing as they slowly raked over her. He sought her face, and looked into her eyes. His voice was hoarse and his speech thick, as he tried to talk through the desire that was consuming him. "My god, Olivia, you are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen…" He visibly struggled to not reach out and touch her, knowing all restraint would be lost. Clearing his throat, he fought to bring himself under control. When he finally spoke his voice was rasping—but steady. "Go lie down on the bed."

Olivia slowly moved toward the end of the bed, and lowered herself until she was sitting on it. She lifted her feet up pushing herself away from the edge, gracefully scooting backwards to move further up on the bed. Elliot watched her, marveling at the poise with which she moved her gorgeous body, the finely toned muscle moving fluidly under her honeyed skin, thinking of all the times they'd been in the field when her life and sometimes his own, depended on her ability to move her body quickly and confidently. His mind wandered, and he could feel his cock twitching as he remembered the many times when they'd been partners, that he'd wondered what that body looked like under her clothes.

He cleared his throat, again—trying to focus, knowing if he didn't discipline himself and rein in his thoughts, he'd never be able to keep his hands off her. "You'll find one of your vibrators on your pillow, Olivia… I want you to show me what you can do with it, baby." He leaned forward, his eyes glittering and his voice guttural. "And then I'm gonna show _you_ what _I_ can do _without_ it."

Olivia shivered at his words, the ache between her legs intensifying—reminding her how ready she was for his touch and how much she needed him to take her—and take her _hard_. She was intrigued by his challenge, but hesitant about the performance he was requesting from her. "El," she whispered, almost pleading. "I ca…"

"Yes you can, baby. You said _'anything,'_" he reminded her. "And you _always_ pay your, debts… Remember?" It was obvious he wasn't going to let her renege on her promise. "Do exactly what you'd do if I weren't here," he instructed, his voice low— seductive. "I know you need it, baby. I can see how wet you are from here."

Olivia groaned. Goddamn him! If he wanted a show, she'd give him one… She'd show him exactly what she could do with a vibrator.

She lay down, bending one leg at the knee and leaving the other flat on the bed—making certain Elliot had a good view. She traced the fingers of her left hand lightly over her breasts, stopping to tweak her nipples, rolling the already hardened nubs between her thumb and forefinger, as she moaned softly. She reached the other hand above her head, searching for the 'prop' Elliot had selected. Her fingers connected and she wrapped them around the magenta cylinder, drawing it to her. She inspected it, smirking when she saw which one he'd chosen—not surprised that it wasn't one of the penis-shaped models—or that it had a clitoral attachment. It was one of her favorites.

Elliot was mesmerized by her actions, concentrating on not missing a moment. He wanted to see every expression on her face, and memorize each movement she made. His erection had become painful, and it took all the willpower he had to not reach down and stroke himself—but he was determined to save everything for her. He groaned quietly as she inspected the vibrator and then laid it by her side.

She moved her right hand to her stomach, slowly inching it lower until she reached her mound… She stroked gently, her other hand continuing to manipulate her breasts—squeezing, kneading, and pinching the fully aroused buds, causing Elliot to shift in his seat, attempting to get comfortable around his pulsing cock.

Olivia's fingers teased the damp curls at her center. She languorously stretched her legs, and then bent them at the knee, letting them fall open to reveal her pink, wet slit. Elliot groaned, entertaining the idea of abandoning his plan, and taking her before he exploded.

Olivia moved her hand from her breasts to her mouth, caressing her lips with her index finger… Her mouth was slightly parted, and he could see the tip of her tongue as she ran it over her lips, while the fingers on her other hand continued to tantalize and rub her slit. She sucked her finger slowly into her mouth… At the same time, she dipped a finger between her slick folds, sliding it in—then slipped in a second finger and moved them, in and out—her hips matching the motion. Her eyes were hooded, the fringe of her lashes fluttering softly as they closed, and a low moan escaped.

Elliot was mesmerized, and pretty sure he wasn't going to live through this display. The discomfort in his balls was acute, but he didn't want to miss anything—so he ignored it. He was hard pressed to decide where to focus. He already knew she was the hottest, sexiest woman he'd ever encountered, but what she was doing tonight was going to blow his mind: This wasn't some porn star writhing on the bed, pleasuring herself for money or a bit part in some sleazy movie… This was Olivia Benson—his street-tough partner of twelve years—and this performance was for him alone. He was the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet—if he lived through it!

Olivia was quickly reaching a greater state of arousal and knew it was time to move the 'show' along: She reached for the vibrator with her left hand, while slowly pulling her fingers, now slick with her own juices, from her wet core… She brought them to her mouth, licking each one with her pink tongue, moaning as she tasted herself. When she'd finished, she brought them back down to her center and spread her glistening folds. She inserted just the tip of the vibrator, whimpering softly at the new sensation.

Elliot groaned—the sound drawn from deep in his throat. "Goddamn, Olivia… You're so fucking hot," he grated. His knuckles were white from gripping the chair to keep from reaching out to touch her.

Olivia gently pushed the device deeper. Elliot watched, entranced, as it disappeared—swallowed by her hot center, the appendage on the top connecting with her clit. She slowly slid it in and out, moaning his name… Her hips bucked as she increased her pace. Knowing she was close, she switched the device on… It hummed quietly as it vibrated, her hips moving in rhythm to her thrusts. She could feel herself start to clench around the device as the vibrations and the onslaught to her clit combined to draw her to the edge. She was ready: She made a final plunge, holding it deep inside as her walls clenched around it, the attachment pulsating against her clit. Her back arched and her head thrashed against the bed… His name tore from her lips in a guttural scream, and she lifted her hips off the bed as her orgasm blasted through her.

Before the spasms had subsided, Elliot was out of the chair and at her side, pulling her into his arms. He pushed her hands away and gently removed the vibrator from her core. Lifting it to his lips, he licked her juices from the cylinder and placed his mouth over hers, kissing her deeply—sharing her essence. "Baby, that was beautiful," he rasped… his voice hoarse and full of desire. He thought he might pass out if he didn't take her soon.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open and she smiled sexily up at him. "You liked that, huh…?"

"Olivia, you're gonna fucking kill me, you're so goddamned sexy… But now _I'm_ gonna make you vibrate, baby—and I don't need any damn batteries, he growled, grinning down at her."

* * *

Dinner had been served much later than planned, but now dishes were done, food was stored in the fridge and the kitchen was clean. Elliot rubbed his tummy and picked up their glasses and grabbed the remaining wine. "Hey, Liv… Let's take our wine and sit on the couch while we digest our dinner," he suggested. "I actually want to talk to you about something." They made their way to the Living Room and he placed the wine on the coffee table and settled into the corner of the couch, pulling Olivia into his arms.

"This is a good idea," she groaned. "I can barely move, after that meal." She leaned in to him, resting her head on his chest. "That was delicious, El. When did you learn to cook, Stabler…? I don't remember you cooking _real_ meals—other than breakfast… Unless barbecue counts," she snickered.

Elliot raised his eyebrows, feigning offense at her words. "This—from the 'take-out queen…'?" he huffed. "I had to learn… It was self-preservation once I was on my own." He pulled her to him, caressing her curves and burying his nose in her hair, appreciating that after the thirty-six hours they'd spent apart, she was back in his arms.

"Hmmm... Funny—it never had that affect on me," she commented drily. "I firmly believe in supporting your local take-out joint."

"Yeah… and you're very dedicated to the cause." He grinned, placing kisses in her hair.

She looked up, smirking at him, and kissed along his jaw line. "What did you want to talk about, El."

He leaned back into the corner, getting comfortable, while managing to keep his arms wrapped securely around her. "I know I haven't said anything about what I'm doing—career-wise, but I want to tell you about some of my tentative plans… I say 'tentative' because I'm still waiting to hear back from the Academy at Quantico."

**TBC**

**Thank you for reading! See you next week with Chapter 5**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for reading, and for the reviews. Hope everyone has a happy and peaceful holiday!**

_She looked up, smirking at him, and kissed along his jaw line. "What did you want to talk about, El."_

_He leaned back into the corner, getting comfortable, while managing to keep his arms wrapped securely around her. "I know I haven't said anything about what I'm doing—career-wise, but I want to tell you about some of my tentative plans… I say 'tentative' because I'm still waiting to hear back from the Academy at Quantico."_

**Chapter 5**

Olivia lowered her eyes for a moment before responding. "El, I haven't asked, because I wasn't sure if you'd moved on enough—to pursue anything yet… I mean, you've been pretty busy working out all the personal stuff—with your kids, and the divorce—and yourself." She looked up and smiled into his eyes. "I knew we'd talk about it when you were ready… And there was no hurry." She hesitated for a moment. "It wasn't because I didn't care. El," she said softly. "But I guess a part of me didn't want to think of you in a career capacity, other than as my partner," she whispered, looking down again.

"Hey," Elliot lifted her chin until their eyes met. "I still have a tough time with that, too, baby." He gently stroked her face with his thumb. "It's not easy for me to trust anyone else to have your back, Liv—believe me I still struggle with it… But I've gotta move on—we both do."

"I know—and I have… I really have, El. I had no choice." She laid her head against his chest. "Nick is great though—and I do trust him." After a moment, she lifted her head and reached her hand up to caress his face, searching his eyes. "It's just—being with you these last few days has brought it all back—and _no one_ will ever be you, Elliot… I still miss you out there." She gave him a sad smile and nestled closer to him, before continuing. "We couldn't be partners now, anyway," she pointed out. "And I do like this _new_ arrangement we have," she teased, quirking an eyebrow. "…the one where I get to sleep with you."

"Yeah, I like that, too," he growled, running his hands up under her top and giving her nipple a gentle tweak through the satiny material of her bra.

She removed his hand, shaking her head and giving him an indulgent smile. "So…Tell me about Quantico."

Elliot's face brightened. "Okay. You know I've got some contacts in the FBI, since I was the liaison with SVU… I asked them to look into a couple of things for me. They already offered me the opportunity to do some instructing, and I've done a little, but I'm really interested in CASMIRC—the Child Abduction & Serial Murder Investigative Resources Center… They've got some field offices in New York: Buffalo, Albany—and one right here in Manhattan. Anyway, I'm looking into—eventually—a Special Agent in Charge position, preferably here in the city."

Olivia stared at him in surprise, a mixture of pride and amusement lighting her eyes. "Really, El…?" She gave a look of mock disbelief. "The FBI…? You're not exactly their biggest fan." She closed her eyes for a moment, as though trying to picture him in the role. "Hmmm. Special Agent Elliot Stabler…" Her eyes opened wide, a smart-ass grin on her face. "Wow! Like Special Agent Dean Porter…" she said with a smirk.

"I knew you'd go there," he mumbled, shaking his head. "Yes, Detective Benson… Like Special Agent_ Porter_." He knew Olivia wasn't going to let this go.

"The _same_ FBI agent you detest with a fiery passion…? _That_ Special Agent Porter…?"

"Yeah… That's the one."

"He's in that same division, you know… That means you'll have to play nice with him," she teased. "Oh, I'm sorry… I'm interrupting. Please continue."

Elliot looked at her with amusement. "You sure you're done with the 'Porter' thing…? You don't need to get any more mileage out of it…?"

"No… I'm good," she deadpanned. "Tell me more."

"Well, there's a mandatory twenty-one week course at Quantico for training Special Agents…" Elliot glanced at Olivia and saw a fleeting look of dismay on her face.

She lowered her eyes, glancing back up at him after a few moments. "If I remember correctly, there are no breaks… Trainees aren't allowed to leave—even on weekends," she said in a quiet voice. "What about Eli?" She wanted to add, 'and what about me?'

Elliot tried to read her face, but she was avoiding his eyes. "I wouldn't do anything that kept me away from Eli for that long, Liv, especially not now—so soon after the divorce. He reached to tenderly cup her cheek drawing her eyes back to his. "And besides, I couldn't bear to be away from you that long, baby," he said softly. Elliot watched as relief washed over her face, and he felt his heart soar.

"How're you gonna get around it, El."

"Thankfully, the program is designed for green recruits. There are exceptions made for seasoned recruits like myself who have career and life experience. The program will be custom-fit to my level of experience and expertise, and I'll be able to be home every weekend," he said, smiling down at her. "Between my training in the Marine Corps—I was a hand-to-hand combat specialist in Desert Storm—and all the training and experience I got during my seventeen years with the NYPD, and especially SVU, there are whole portions of the program I'll be able to skip. Some areas I may need to brush up on, but I can take an abbreviated course in them. Chances are I'll only need to be there a couple days a week—with a few exceptions. And it's about a five to six hour drive—give or take… So it's manageable."

Olivia worried her lower lip, looking thoughtful as she processed the information he'd just given her. "It sounds like you're uniquely suited to this, Elliot."

"Yeah, I think I am, Liv." His eyes lit up as he continued to fill her in on the details. "CASMIRC works with federal, state and local authorities to investigate major violent crimes, including child abductions and serial rapes, which would be my areas of expertise. They provide onsite consultation and advice to local law enforcement agencies when requested, so chances are I'd be in your neck of the woods from time to time." He smiled, knowing Olivia had already anticipated this, and he knew exactly where her thoughts were headed.

"Do you think they'll let us work together…? I mean, once they know we're in a relationship?"

Elliot chuckled. "Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, Liv… I haven't even gotten the job yet, baby."

"You will, El. Between your training in the Marine Corps, and your time with SVU… how could you miss? Hell, you're a Decorated Detective First Class, Elliot, with a 97% closure rate." She beamed at him, and reached to take his hand. "I'm so proud of you… You've accomplished so much." She leaned in closer. "I love you, Elliot Stabler," she murmured, as she brushed a soft kiss over his lips.

Elliot enveloped her, pressing her close as he deepened the kiss. He kissed her thoroughly, then pulled away to speak—his tone betraying how moved he was. "You don't know how much it means to me to have your support, Liv. You understand what I do… I can talk to you about it." He gazed deeply into her eyes, the intensity of his emotion taking her breath away. "You _get_ me…" he whispered. "You know the demons that drive me, Olivia… And you still love me."

There was a tender smile on his face as a single tear traced a track over the plains of his cheek. He drew her to him, stifling a sob as he buried his face in her neck. She held him, encouraging him to continue talking to her. "I never had that with Kathy, Liv. It wasn't her fault," he added quickly. "I tried to share my job with her in the beginning, but she was so appalled that I finally did everything in my power to protect her from it… But in the end it created a real disconnect between us. She deeply resented my career choice, and didn't understand why it was so important to me. I never felt supported by her—or appreciated."

Olivia held him, wanting him to find comfort in her arms. She sensed the deep hurt he'd suffered in his marriage, knowing it couldn't all be laid at Kathy's feet—and knowing that Elliot never would… He'd always assume more than his fair share of the blame. She rubbed his back, running one hand up to caress his neck, and pulled him to her. She tenderly kissed his lips, murmuring her love and devotion between kisses.

Elliot kissed her once more, the moment intense and charged with passion. He pulled away and looked into her beautiful brown eyes, seeing something new reflected there. He knew her so well—he'd always been able to read her—but this was different... He searched her eyes, studying them. What he observed was confidence, serenity—total acceptance—a look of belonging… And he understood: Olivia Benson had come home—she'd found her family, and it was him. He felt like he'd been holding his breath his whole life and it was finally safe to let it go. "Liv, I love you so, so much." He pulled her closer, and they held each other tightly for several long minutes—anchored securely in their love.

Olivia finally stirred. Still holding him, she pushed away—just enough to see his face. "El… Are you sure you're ready to put yourself back out there?" she asked softly, looking into his eyes. "There'll be some pretty horrific situations."

He gently withdrew from her embrace, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He scrubbed one hand over his face before he spoke. "I'm ready, Liv. I've thought a lot about it… I've talked about it in therapy with Huang. I'm a very different person than I was—before the shooting," he said, turning toward her. "All that pent-up frustration and self-loathing is gone. I've got tools to draw from that I didn't have before." His voice grew softer, and he held her gaze. "And now I have you, Olivia. I'm happier than I've ever been, baby… You don't know what a difference that makes."

She took his hand. "Yeah… I think I do, El."

He squeezed her hand and sat up… smiling as he tenderly brushed hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Yeah, I guess you do, baby." He leaned back against the couch cushions resting quietly for a few moments, seemingly lost in thought. Olivia waited patiently for him to continue.

"It'll be different, Liv… I won't be on the front lines this time—at least not very often. I'll be consulting, instructing, directing, organizing... CASMIRC works closely with NCAVC—the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime Services: They provide investigative support to local agencies and help coordinate other resources for them—like profiling, crime analysis, strategies for interviewing or interrogating—even some trial preparation and prosecution strategies. Part of my job would be to analyze what services would be needed and then organize and mobilize the effort."

Olivia listened intently as he explained the various aspects of the two divisions—how they interacted with one another, and what his position would be if he got the job. Her smile broadened with each new detail, as she observed his growing excitement. This was a new Elliot Stabler—a new man. This man was not beaten-down by the daily grind of the unspeakable horrors he encountered in his job, and eaten up by loneliness caused by a marriage that had never met his needs and was long-dead. This man was excited, optimistic and more alive than she'd ever seen him. Gone was the frustration and powerlessness that led to the rage that had become his hallmark. This was a man who had surrendered everything to gain control of his life… This man exuded calm confidence and strength tempered in steel. And this man was hers. Her mind reeled and her heart swelled with pride.

* * *

Olivia waited impatiently in Donald Cragen's office, anxious to get this conversation, over… She'd arrived early hoping to talk with him before anyone else arrived, thereby avoiding any explanations if he chose to send her home. As luck would have it, he was running late. He'd unlocked his office and told her to have a seat ten minutes ago, and had just now poked his head in the door and said he'd be with her as soon as he grabbed his coffee. She sat with her legs crossed, nervously clicking the pen in her hand, as she waited for him to join her.

A few moments later he walked into the office, coffee cup in hand, and closed the door, settling himself behind his desk. "Welcome back, Olivia… I trust you had a restful, albeit, _eventful_ week…" He gave her a knowing grin, and Olivia belatedly remembered the last conversation he'd had with Elliot—just before their first date. She felt warmth flood her cheeks as they turned pink.

"Why Detective Benson… Are you blushing?" His eyes twinkled merrily.

She looked down at her lap, feeling as though she'd lost the ability to speak… She stumbled over her words, finally managing to convey that her week had, indeed, been fine.

"Why did you want to meet with me, Liv," he asked, chuckling at her obvious discomfiture. "Please don't tell me you're gonna leave me to run off with Stabler…" He was only half joking. Olivia raised her head in time to catch a look of worry—fleeting as it was—in her Captain's eyes.

She gave a hesitant smile, and shook her head. "No, that is definitely not happening," she said, looking back down at her hands.

"I'm sorry, Olivia…" His tone was suddenly sober as he realized how uncomfortable she was with the subject matter. He stood up and came to stand in front of her. He perched on the edge of his desk, and looked down, observing her closely. "That was unprofessional of me, Liv… I apologize."

"No, Don—no apology needed. It's just me—I'm not good with personal…"

He didn't let her finish. "_Is_ everything okay with you and Elliot?" he asked, unable to mask his concern for her. "It damn well better be, or he'll have me to answer to—I told him what I'd do if he hurt…"

Olivia quickly interrupted him. "Everything is _fine_ with us…" She looked up, giving him an amused grin. "Better than fine—_really_," she stated with a firm nod of her head, her smile broadening. She watched Don's face relax as he visibly released the tension he'd been holding in his shoulders. She hesitated for just a moment before speaking again. "Thank you for being there for him, Don… He told me how much you supported him—He really appreciates it, you know. I do, too," she added softly.

"Humph… You know how I feel about you, Olivia," he mumbled. "Or if you don't, you should." He peered down at her with a shy smile.

She met his eyes. "Thank you, Don," she whispered. "That makes what I need to talk to you about, even harder." She felt moisture in her eyes, and looked away, not wanting him to see how much she was struggling with the conversation she was about to have with him.

"Well, let's just have it, Liv. Tell me what you need to tell me."

She sighed, and raked her hand through her hair… Leaning back against her chair, she folded her hands in her lap—and took a deep breath. "Don, without getting into a lot of specifics, there were things I should have disclosed to you after my undercover assignment in Sealview." She lowered her eyes and paused for a moment, clearing her throat. "I was physically—and sexually—assaulted by Lowell Harris, Don… I wasn't raped—thanks to Fin—but I came too damn close."

She heard his intake of breath, and held up her hand, indicating she wanted him to let her continue. "At first, I thought I was okay… But then I started having symptoms… of PTSD." Her voice wavered, but she continued, barely above a whisper. "Eventually I got some help—but not before it seriously impacted my performance on the job."

"Liv…"

"Please, Don… Please let me finish. It was the Jessica Crewes case." Being careful to leave Fin's name out of her accounting, she continued. "Master Sgt. Pruitt was a suspect, and I went to his hotel to bring him in. When I arrived, he and Lt Rosten were fighting: I tried to break it up, and in the process I was thrown into a heavy picture frame—and hit my head—hard enough to break the glass. Apparently it triggered a flashback… I guess I blacked out, because the next thing I remember, I was holding my gun to Pruitt's head, with my finger on the trigger. He was unarmed—and he was innocent, but I was so angry, and so sure he was guilty, and…"

"Olivia, why didn't you report this…?"

"I don't know, Don… I didn't want anyone to think I couldn't do my job." Olivia labored to talk through the unshed tears that were clogging her throat and threatening to steal her voice. "I wasn't thinking clearly… I certainly wasn't making good decisions at that point. I couldn't eat—I couldn't sleep… I had all the classic symptoms of PTSD." She looked up at her Captain. "But until the blackout, I thought I was holding it together—I was even in a support group. I thought I was doing okay." She lowered her eyes. "But the blackout terrified me… It became the impetus to seriously seek professional help. When you forced me take time off after the case, I used it to find the help I needed.

"Why are you reporting it now, Liv? Almost three years after the fact…"

"I hadn't had any symptoms for a couple of years, Don. No panic attacks, no flashbacks—and I never had another blackout..." Olivia's voice faltered as a single tear finally escaped and trailed down her face. "…until last week."

Donald Cragen felt his heart seize as he watched his toughest, most dedicated detective break before him. He knew the tremendous strain she'd been under in the past few years, and he'd had his own concerns about her, especially after Elliot retired: He'd left without a word to her, leaving her alone—taking with him her greatest source of strength and support… But she'd soldiered on and done her job without him. The sixteenth precinct was the closest thing she had to family. And the victims gave her direction and purpose for her life—they were her beacon.

He knew how tough this was for his dedicated detective… She hated emotional displays: She never publicly shed a tear—never allowed anyone to see the private, vulnerable Olivia Benson. He stepped away from the desk, pulling the nearest chair closer to Olivia's and sat down, leaning toward her. "Olivia." He forced her to look at him, his voice gentle. "What happened, Liv…? Please tell me this didn't have something to do with Elliot…"

"Don, _no_. He… He's been _wonderful_." She couldn't stop her smile as her thoughts turned to him. "I'd just gone through the whole 'Pena' mess—and I'd had a few minor panic attacks. And then the relationship I was in—ended." She hesitated, knowing she couldn't bring David Haden's name into this. "My—boyfriend came to my apartment the morning after we broke it off. He just wanted to talk… But I didn't. He got a little rough with me—he wasn't going to hurt me, but when he restrained me, I had a flashback and a full-blown panic attack. I blacked out." Her voice was barely a whisper. "When I came to, I was—attacking him."

Don took a deep breath and reached for her hand, looking into her eyes. "What are you planning to do about it, Olivia?"

Olivia impatiently brushed at the few tears that had managed to make their way down her cheeks, maintaining eye contact with him. "I have an appointment this afternoon with my therapist, Dr. Fulton. I expect she'll insist I see my physician—and I'll submit to any tests they feel I should have—an MRI, or whatever other testing they recommend—to rule out any neurological causes for the blackout." She made an attempt at a rueful grin. "I'll even, _willingly_, meet with Dr. Huang."

Don squeezed her hand and stood up… He slowly walked around his desk, and settled into his chair. He sat quietly—absorbing the information she'd just given him. After a few minutes, he spoke. "Okay, Olivia… I want you to take the rest of the day. As of tomorrow, you'll be on desk duty until further notice. I want to see a full report from your therapist _and_ your physician, clearing you, before I reinstate you for full duty. And…" He looked up—the smallest hint of a smile playing at the corners of his eyes. "…you _will_ see George Huang—for as many sessions as he feels are necessary—and I'll need a letter of clearance from him as well."

Olivia started to rise from her seat, relief clearly evident on her face. "Thank you, Don. I really…"

"Sit back down, Olivia… I'm not finished with you yet." Any trace of humor was gone. Olivia lowered herself back into her chair, a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. He leaned forward looking directly into her eyes. "There're a lot more implications here than you've admitted to, Olivia… Someone had your back, and chose to cover for you. Which means you put someone else at risk by not disclosing what was going on… Not just their well-being, but their job—hell—their whole damn career. I'm not going to ask you who that 'someone' was… I think we both know it wasn't Elliot." His voice rose in volume. "Not to mention the liability you could have become to this precinct—and the City of NY—in terms of potential lawsuits, if something had happened."

Olivia closed her eyes and hung her head, hot tears pricking at her eyelids. For the first time she was faced with the full realization of what her actions could have cost the people she cared about most: Her partners, her co-workers, and the people in this city she'd sworn to protect.

Don continued, but his voice had grown softer—almost pleading. "Why didn't you come to me, Liv—tell me what had happened in Sealview?" He looked beseechingly at her. "I could have helped you." He shifted his gaze, pushing into the back of his chair, his fingers tented in front of him and his eyes no longer on Olivia, but looking toward the ceiling—as if he might find the answers he sought, floating somewhere above the room. When he spoke again, he sounded tired—defeated. "I can't help my squad if I don't know what's going on…"

"Don, I'm so sorry…"

He shook his head, continuing to speak in a quiet voice—more to himself than to Olivia. "I knew something was wrong—I felt so damn guilty for letting you take that assignment… I allowed you to go into an impossible situation. And afterwards, I knew you were too damn stubborn to come to me and admit that something had happened to you, because you would have seen it as a failure on your part… You never would have admitted it—especially after insisting that I let you go in." He finally looked at her, his voice breaking. "I tried to convince myself I was giving you the space you needed, but the truth was… I was too much of a coward to confront you—make you talk to me. I couldn't bear to know what that bastard had done to you, Liv—knowing it was my fault." He stopped talking and just sat looking down at his desk. After a few moments, he cleared his throat to speak again, avoiding her eyes. "So this is _my_ responsibility. This rests on _my_ shoulders."

When he finally raised his eyes to hers, she could see the toll his next words were taking before he spoke them. "The past is the past, and we're going to leave it there. You're doing the right thing now, Olivia, by coming to me. But Liv… if you want to stay here—work under my command—I've got to know you won't keep anything from me in the future. I need to know I can trust you. If you can't make that commitment, you need to give me your badge."

**TBC**

**Thank you for reading! Chapter 6 will be posted next week-end.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks once again for reading, and thank you especially to my reviewers… I appreciate the feedback so much. **

_When he finally raised his eyes to hers, she could see the toll his next words were taking before he spoke them. "The past is the past, and we're going to leave it there. You're doing the right thing now, Olivia, by coming to me. But Liv… if you want to stay here—work under my command—I've got to know you won't keep anything from me in the future. I need to know I can trust you. If you can't make that commitment, you need to give me your badge."_

**Chapter 6**

Olivia let herself into her apartment, trying to not disturb Elliot—hoping he was still asleep. As soon as she cleared the door, the pungent smell of brewing coffee hit her, telling her he was up. She made her way to the kitchen, and heard the shower running.

Relieved to have a few more minutes to gather her thoughts, her mind returned to the last hour she'd spent in Cragen's office. She mindlessly moved through the motions of making tea, filling the teakettle with water, and setting it to boil on the stove. She reached for her cup, dropping a teabag into it, as she continued to go over the events of the morning. The meeting with her Captain had been even tougher than she'd expected, and emotionally draining—for them both.

The whistling of the kettle pulled her from her thoughts… She reached for it, shutting off the burner. She poured the scalding water over the teabag in her cup, causing an essence of ginger to escape in a burst of steam and drift up to tickle her nose. She added some honey and lifted the cup to her lips, blowing on it gently, before taking a sip. She sighed as the hot liquid brought her a brief moment of comfort before her mind returned to her dismal thoughts.

The gravity of the fallout—after Sealview—finally hit her full force… Almost four years later. She'd been so overwhelmed by all she'd been dealing with at the time, she'd become lost in it. And, until now, she'd never really thought about what the cost could have been: to herself; to her partners—both Fin _and_ Elliot; or to the public she was charged with protecting. She felt the tears overflow and splash her checks before she realized she was crying.

She was so distracted by her own misery she didn't hear the bathroom door open, or Elliot making his way into the kitchen, until he walked up behind her and enfolded her in his arms. "How'd it go?" he asked, holding her close and kissing the back of her neck. "Mmmm… I missed you, baby," he growled softly, turning her around in his arms. When he saw the sadness on her beautiful face, and the tears on her cheeks, he pulled her to him. She draped her arms around his neck and gave in to the sobs she'd been holding in check for too long. He held her tenderly, making soft shushing sounds while she cried. When the sobs finally subsided he lifted her face to his. "That bad, huh?" he whispered, as he led her to the couch, still holding her close.

He wrapped himself around her as they settled on the couch. She rested her head just below his chin, breathing in his scent—wanting to never leave the safety of his arms again. "I don't wanna talk about this, you know," she said hoarsely.

Elliot chuckled softly. "Oh, I know… But you will—'cause we're in this together, baby." He tilted her face until he could see her eyes and placed a kiss on her nose. "Are you gonna tell me, Liv—or do I need to start playing twenty questions?"

She buried her face in his chest mumbling something he couldn't understand—suspecting it was probably better that way. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he pushed her away, forcing her to look at him. "Were you fired?"

She shook her head. "No," she mumbled.

"Suspended?"

"No."

"Did you quit?" he asked, a look of alarm in his eyes.

"No… But I should." She sounded desolate.

"Olivia, what's going on? Are you on desk duty?"

"Yeah… Until my doctor, my therapist _and _Huang, clear me," she sighed.

"So why did you say you should quit?" Elliot's curiosity was peaked, but he had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.

She refused to meet his eyes. Instead she pulled away and scooted into the corner of the couch, creating some space between them—a habit he was beginning to recognize as one of her defense mechanisms when the subject was overwhelming to her. She looked down, and spoke barely above a whisper. "He should have fired me, Elliot. Instead, he blamed himself and thinks he's a failure as a squad leader. It was my pigheaded stubbornness that forced him to let me go undercover—and my goddamn stubborn pride that kept me from telling anybody how much I was struggling afterwards."

"Hey, Liv…"

"No, Elliot, you don't know what I did…" she sniffled, tears threatening to spill again.

"Tell me, Olivia... I know it's not any worse than some of the crap I…"

Her voice strangled as she tried to talk around the tears that still threatened. "I held my gun to the head of an innocent, unarmed man, Elliot… And if Fin hadn't been there—I don't know—I might have…"

Elliot reached across the space between them and pulled her back into his arms. "When did this happen, Liv? Baby, I know you… You would never have pulled that trigger."

"That's just it Elliot… I don't know—I'll never know—I was having a blackout. It was the Jessica Crewes case. I was working it with Fin, because he knew I was in a PTSD support group… The case was referred to me by the therapist running the group—and—I didn't want you to know." She looked up at him then, tears and mascara running down her cheeks, the look in her eyes remorseful. "By not revealing what happened in Sealview, and how much I was impacted by it, I put so many people at risk, El: You; Fin; everyone I worked with; the vics; innocent suspects... And now Don thinks it's his fault—I really hurt him, Elliot," she cried.

"Oh, Liv… Shhh, baby." He held her to him, rubbing circles on her back, trying to bring her some comfort. "Liv, what did he say?" She tried to pull away, but Elliot held her tight. "Come on, Liv. We're gonna talk about this… What did he say that has you so upset, baby."

Too disheartened to fight him, she sank back into his arms. "He said he shouldn't have let me go undercover in Sealview—He knew it was a dangerous situation… And then after I came back out, he said he should have made me talk to him—he knew something had happened, but he couldn't bear to hear what Harris had done to me—because he knew it was his fault."

She paused. "I let him down, El. It was _my_ fault—for insisting he let me go in." She rested quietly in his arms for a moment before continuing. "He doesn't trust me anymore, El…" she whispered brokenly. "He told me I need to hand in my badge unless I promise to never keep anything like that from him again… and he's right. I don't have a problem making that commitment—I'll never let something like that happen again. But after these last few weeks—I mean, with the Pena thing—I don't even know if I _deserve_ to keep my badge."

Elliot had listened to her heart broken rendering of the facts as she believed them to be, but he knew there was a perspective she would never see unless someone else pointed it out to her: "Olivia, I want you to listen to me. Yeah, you're the most stubborn woman on the planet… But everything you do, every decision you make, comes from a place of caring—a heart of compassion. Your instincts are incredible, and they almost never steer you wrong. But even _you _are entitled to a lapse in judgment, Olivia."

She started to protest, but Elliot shushed her and kept talking. "Did it ever occur to you that _you_ didn't let anybody down…?" His face clouded for a moment. "But an awful lot of people—including me—let _you_ down. Cap's right… He shouldn't have let you go in and he should have insisted on talking to you once you came out—especially knowing what he did know about the situation. And Fin should _never_ have covered for you when he saw how much you were struggling with the PTSD." He hesitated, pulling her closer, his voice cracking. "And I should have locked you in a goddamned room and made you talk to me… I'm so sorry, Olivia. I was terrified to hear what that fucking bastard did to you, baby. I wanted to believe it was nothing—that you were okay." He held her close, resting his chin in her hair. "We all let you down, Liv," he whispered, his own voice breaking.

"No, Elliot. I…"

He gently pushed her away and looked deeply into her eyes. "If ever an officer deserved their badge, Olivia Benson, it's you," he stated fiercely, pride burning in his eyes. "And don't you doubt that for one more second." He drew her to him and covered her lips with his own, his kiss sweet and tender—meant to convey all the love he held in his heart for her. Within moments it had deepened, and he continued to kiss her with all the passion she stirred in him.

Elliot finally released her. She gasped, trying to catch her breath as she looked up at him. "Did you really mean that, El? You're not just saying it to make me feel better…?"

Elliot rested his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. "I not only meant it, Olivia…" he told her fervently. "…I know with every fiber of my being—it's the truth."

Olivia leaned her head against his chest and rested in his arms. She was unspeakably touched by his ardent belief in her. After a few minutes she looked up at him, speaking quietly. "Thank you, El… I'm so grateful to you for confronting me about the blackout I had last week. As painful as this has been, I feel like it's the first time I've taken an honest look at what Sealview did to me. And I know Don is hurt and upset about how I handled what happened back then… But he's right—the past is the past. It's the blackout I had last week that he's reacting to, isn't it…"

"Yeah, baby, it is… He's worried about you."

* * *

"Olivia, from what you've told me, I think I agree with you," Dr. Fulton said, arching an eyebrow as she perused the notes she'd just taken. "I don't believe there's any organic reason for the blackout you had last week. I think your assessment is spot on… The stressors in your life over the past few years had become too much. Everything—especially the last few weeks—culminated to bring you to that point." She glanced up at her, before enumerating: "The discovery that you'd played a part in sending an innocent man to prison, and the subsequent impact it had on your relationship; the re-emergence of the panic attacks—even though they hadn't become full-blown; your old partner resurfacing, forcing you to address a whole slew of emotional issues; and the final straw—you're boyfriend, after ending the relationship, showing up and physically putting you in a situation that triggered memories of Sealview." She smiled at Olivia and chuckled softly. "It was—as you said—the perfect storm."

Dr. Fulton paused, resting her elbows on her desk and tenting her fingertips, obviously in thought. After a few minutes, she spoke again. "All that being said, Olivia, I still want you to see Dr. Benjamin… She'll probably send you for some tests and a consult with a neurologist—just to be sure."

Olivia groaned inwardly, although she was greatly relieved that Dr. Fulton didn't believe there was anything wrong—at least not in a neurological sense. Glancing at her watch, she noted that her time was nearly up, so she reached for her purse and started to rise from her chair.

Dr. Fulton raised her hand and motioned her to sit back down. "Olivia, I'd like to set up a few more appointments—do a little more work with you in therapy, the primary focus being better self-care... and relaxation techniques." Olivia's look of skepticism did not elude her therapist… She smiled knowingly at her and continued. "I sense you're in a better place in your life right now, and I suspect you'd approach this with more dedication than you have in the past."

Remembering her promise to her Captain, Olivia agreed. "Okay… Go ahead and set it up, Dr. Fulton." She paused. "Will you be in touch with Dr. Benjamin?"

" Yes, I'll contact her today and let her know about the referral, and I'll write up the notes and forward them to her so she'll have this information prior to your appointment."

Olivia stood, extending her hand to the doctor as she rose from her chair and came around the desk. "Thank you, for everything, Dr. Fulton… I appreciate it."

* * *

Olivia lay contentedly in Elliot's arms, just listening to him breathe. It had been an exhausting day, and she desperately needed to sleep, but her mind wouldn't shut down. Their love-making had been gentle and languorous… She marveled at how willing he was to give her what she needed, and tonight she needed to be comforted—not just with his words, but with his body. He'd loved her so tenderly, and satisfied her so completely—in ways that no other lover ever had or ever could.

Her thoughts returned to the roller coaster of emotions that had been her day. She was so grateful to Elliot for helping her look at the situation differently… His words had painted it in a light she never would've seen, and his unfaltering belief in her was like an anchor—one she desperately needed. She accepted her own culpability—she always took responsibility for her actions—but there were others who'd played a role in this: At a time when she was most vulnerable and least able to make good decisions, her support systems were lacking. And he'd helped her understand that the last thing Don Cragen wanted was her badge—but he cared enough about her to take it if it meant keeping her safe.

Elliot mumbled in his sleep and rolled over reaching around to be sure she was still close by his side. She wrapped her arms around him—spooning her body close to his. She pressed her lips to his shoulder and kissed his warm skin, breathing in his scent, so thankful he was in her life once again—still finding it hard to believe all the changes that had taken place in a little over a week's time. Just before she drifted off she remembered she'd be going back to work in the morning: She smiled to herself, as she realized the events of the day hadn't left her defeated, and dreading her return… Even though she was exhausted, she felt strong and confident and ready to get back into the fray. And she understood then that a healing process had begun in her, within the confines of a truly loving relationship.

* * *

The squad room had grown livelier with the arrival of each member of the team in the early morning hours of Olivia's first day back. She'd been greeted with smiles and banter and general enthusiasm from her teammates—she'd clearly been missed. She felt a little guilty about not telling them about her new relationship—but she didn't feel ready to share it—and she refused to have her personal life become fodder for office gossip.

It was hard getting used to being away from Elliot, and she missed him… But she'd been right—being at the 1-6 would help keep her mind off him. He was planning to use the time to run some errands and catch up on things at his own place, since he'd been spending so much time at Olivia's. And she'd be back in his arms tonight—the mere thought creating a familiar warmth between her legs, making her squirm in her seat.

It felt good to be here, other than the fact that she'd be stuck behind her desk for the foreseeable future… As yet, that subject hadn't been addressed, and she wasn't sure how her Captain planned to spin it. Thankfully, her partner hadn't arrived yet, so she hadn't needed to explain anything to him. She was a little reticent about seeing Don this morning—she expected it would be awkward for both of them—but she hoped he'd be pleased with her decision to keep her badge. "Benson! My office—now." The familiar words from her Captain interrupted her thoughts and brought a smile to her face: She was definitely back.

"Goddamn, girl… You in trouble already?" Fin smirked. He looked across the room at her trying hard not to let his emotions show on his face. "Fuck… She looked damn good! She was one _fine_ woman," he mused. She gave him a sassy grin, and hurried into Cragen's office, closing the door behind her. He'd missed her and had anxiously awaited her return… He was beyond curious about how she'd spent her time—and how much of it had been spent with her old partner. The thought irked him, and he felt his shoulders grow tense. Ever since his 'rooftop' conversation with Elliot Stabler last week, he hadn't been able to get Olivia off his mind: He was pissed that Stabler was back in her life. It'd upset him more than it should have when he said he loved her… Even more upsetting, was his claim that she might love him in return. It had forced Fin to confront some feelings of his own for Olivia Benson.

Olivia waited until Captain Cragen looked up from the paperwork he was reviewing. "Hey, Cap. I was just getting ready to come talk to you about…"

"…how to explain why you're on desk duty," he finished for her, giving her a knowing look, and gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

She smiled tentatively as she settled into the chair. "Yeah."

"We'll talk about that in a minute… The fact that you're here and sitting at your desk tells me you're not planning to hand in your badge… Good." He gave her a half-smile, and lowered his eyes, hoping to hide how pleased he was at her decision. "Before we talk about anything else, I want to know how things went with your appointment yesterday, Liv…" When he raised his eyes to hers again, she saw the worry there. "Did she recommend you see your doctor?"

Olivia was touched by his concern and hurried to reassure him: She gave a brief rundown of her therapist's assessment, letting him know that neither she nor her therapist believed there was a neurological problem… Seeing her doctor was simply a precaution.

The relief on his face was obvious. "I'm okay, Don," she said gently, holding his eyes with her own. "I'm going to be just fine. Better than ever—_Really_…" Her smile was confident, emphasizing the conviction of her words—and he glimpsed an 'Olivia' he hadn't seen in far too long… He almost dared to believe her.

"Good. Hmmph...," he mumbled, clearing his throat to mask the emotion wreaking havoc with his vocal chords. "Okay. As far as everyone in this unit is concerned, you're on desk duty until a few things are cleared up: Fallout from the Pena case. You'll spend some time with David Haden going over your back cases.

Before she caught herself, Olivia's eyes widened in alarm, and her mouth opened to protest. "No! I…"

"You don't have a choice in the matter, Benson…" He raised an eyebrow and gave her a questioning look. "…not if you want to keep the real reason off the grid. Besides, it's something that's gotta be done, so we kill two birds with one stone." Don studied her closely. "I didn't think this would be a problem for you Olivia… I thought you and Haden had a good working relationship."

Olivia quickly recovered. "We do… It'll be fine. I… I guess I was just reacting to the 'Pena' reference," she muttered. As lame as it was, it was the closest excuse she could come up with for her negative response to his announcement that she'd be working with David. She groaned inwardly, anticipating Elliot's reaction to the news… She assumed David was already aware of the development.

When Olivia returned to her desk, she discovered Nick had arrived while she'd been talking to her Captain. She slipped into her chair as he sauntered over to his desk with his coffee cup freshly filled with the bitter brew that Munch kept in constant supply.

"Welcome back." He grinned over at her, watching her intently, as though trying to gauge her mood. "You look… uh, I don't know… not really rested… but, uh, happy." He paused, still searching her face, a bewildered expression on his own. "You look different…" He screwed up his face in concentration. "You look good… Really good," he finally concluded.

"Okay…" Olivia offered, trying to hide her amusement. "Thank you… I think."

Before they could further pursue the conversation, Captain Cragen came out of his office and briefed everyone about Olivia's status, and the reasons for her desk duty. Nick had been working with Fin while Olivia had been out, so Cragen told them to continue to work together, at least for the next few days. Rollins would spend time with Munch, but it was clear that Olivia was definitely needed back in the field.

* * *

The morning had dragged interminably, and Olivia was sure the day would never end. It was now afternoon… She looked around the near-empty squad room and sighed. The only ones here besides herself were Nick and Fin… Every other lucky soul was out on assignment—or at lunch—or anyplace but here. Nick and Fin had returned earlier after successfully wrapping up a case they'd been working on and were busy processing their paperwork… Munch and Rollins were still in the field.

Olivia groaned and shifted in her chair, convinced her ass was going to be forever molded to it—that's apparently why they called it 'ass' duty… And this was just her first day. It'd had been six long hours of data entry—inputting reports and DD5s—and completing stray paperwork for everyone in the unit… She'd been given a few research projects that were slightly more interesting, but they'd taken very little time to complete.

She sat clicking her pen as she tried, unsuccessfully, to turn her attention back to the new pile of paperwork that had been dumped on her desk. She couldn't wait to be cleared for full duty, and reminded herself to thank George Huang for expediting the process: When she'd gone to his office to arrange their sessions, he'd called her physician, explaining the importance of returning her to the field… Olivia already had an appointment for tomorrow—with the assurance that any tests would be scheduled as quickly as possible. And she had her first appointment with Huang later in the week.

She pushed an errant piece of hair back behind her ears, and continued clicking her pen. She'd finally managed to turn her thoughts back to the form in her hand, when a piece of crumbled up paper sailed across her desk hitting her in the chest… She jumped, dropping the DD5 she'd been trying to decipher, and watched it slide across the floor. She looked up to see Nick's frustrated face. "Enough with the pen, Olivia… Drop it, or I swear I'm gonna tape your thumbs down."

Olivia glared at him, flipping him the universal 'gesture of goodwill'—but she laid the pen down. Nick gave her a cocky grin, reminding her of Elliot, and Fin chuckled softly as he bent to pick up the report, placing it back on her desk. "Good to see some things never change," he smirked. "How 'bout we get outta here and grab a bite to eat… You didn't have any lunch yet, did ya?" He smiled down at her affectionately.

"No, I didn't," she sighed. "That sounds great… Just give me a minute to run to the Ladies Room and I'll be good to go." She pulled her bottom drawer open and grabbed her purse.

* * *

The walk to the diner had only taken ten minutes, but Olivia felt reinvigorated. They'd finished most of their burgers, and were both picking away at the fries on their plates. She sipped her tea and looked over at Fin, trying to read his face… He'd been unusually quiet. "Hey, Fin, what's up…? Anything you wanna talk about?"

He mumbled something that sounded like gibberish but Olivia could have sworn she heard 'mother fucker' and 'Stabler' thrown in… She raised an eyebrow giving him a quizzical look. "You wanna say that again—in English."

"Nah… Let's jus' finish our lunch and get th'hell outta here," he mumbled, looking down to avoid her eyes.

Olivia studied him for a moment. "Or let's not. Obviously something's bothering you, Fin, so let's have it. I know you talked to Elliot last week…" She felt uncomfortable and looked down at the table. "He said he apologized to you—and thanked you for having my back—in Sealview." Looking back up, she continued. "Is there something you want to say to me—about him?"

Fin suddenly pushed his plate away and looked at her—his eyes unreadable. "Yeah… There is. What the hell's goin' on, Olivia…? How could you jus' let that bastard walk back in after the way he treated you. I been watchin' you go through hell the past ten, 'leven months—an' he was a goddamned prick to ya before that… And now he shows up and thinks he's jus' gonna pick up… "

Olivia raised her hand to signal she'd heard enough. Her eyes were at least two shades darker than their usual chocolate brown, and her face looked like a storm front fast approaching. "Fin, you don't know what the hell you're talking about: You don't have the whole picture… You have no idea all that's happened between us this past week. Jesus, Fin, have a little faith in my ability to conduct my own personal life."

"Yeah, 'cause you got such a great track record," he sneered. He saw the hurt flicker in her eyes, and he knew he'd gone too far. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her, because that was a pain that came right back to him, and weighed like a brick around his heart.

"I don't need this crap." She grabbed her purse and slid across the booth, as Fin reached out a hand to stop her.

"Liv… Hey—I'm sorry… I didn't mean that. Please don't go, baby girl." It was the raw pain in his eyes that made her slide her purse back across the seat, and settle back in beside it.

She looked over at him. Her eyes were still dark, but her voice was softer, and held a trace of uneasiness. "You wanna tell me what's going on, Fin…?"

His head was lowered, avoiding her eyes. "Not really," he muttered. He looked up when she reached for her purse again. "But I will." He took a deep breath, and reached across the table to touch her arm. "Goddamn, Olivia… You _gotta _know how I feel about you, baby."

Her eyes grew big. "I thought I did," she whispered. "Maybe you better tell me."

He looked over at her, his eyes pleading for her to understand. "Liv, I care about you—more'n I should." He shook his head, confusion and misery in his eyes. "I been strugglin' to figure it out for a while now… and then Stabler comes struttin' in all ready to sweep you off your feet like he's some damn Prince Charmin' and you're a damsel in d'stress." Fin lowered his eyes, and mumbled to himself. "Th' bastard doesn't deserve you."

Olivia was speechless. This was fucked up on so many levels: Did Fin, her colleague, and one of her best friends, just profess 'romantic feelings' for her? She didn't begin to know how to respond to that... And equally upsetting was the fact that Elliot promised her he hadn't told anyone but Don about them. What the hell! This day was way too full of surprises and she was tired of being blind-sided. She grabbed her purse and stood up. "Fin, I'm sorry… I've gotta…"

"Liv, we gotta talk about this…" Fin stood up, too.

"Fin… Please, give me some time. I need to get some air…" She threw money down on the table to cover her share of the meal, and rushed out of the restaurant.

Fin stood for a moment, watching her leave and trying to decide what to do: He knew he'd handled this with all the finesse of the proverbial bull in the china closet, and he figured he couldn't make it much worse. He threw his money on the table with hers, and took off after her.

He saw her crossing the street and knew where she was heading. There was a spot a few blocks away that almost no one frequented… It was really just a bench on a small patch of grass with a few trees and shrubbery all around—surprisingly private. Most people missed it, but Olivia and he'd gone there on a few occasions to eat their lunch. He followed her and saw her sit down on the bench… He stood watching her from the shadows.

After a few minutes he slowly approached her. "Liv… Can I sit down?" Not waiting for her permission, he sat, situating himself so he mirrored her position on the bench.

She knew he'd followed her, so she wasn't startled when he appeared, but she wasn't ready to deal with the can of worms he'd just opened up for them. "Fin, please…"

"No, Liv. Dammit… We _need_ to talk about this." He placed his hands on her shoulders forcing her to look at him.

Her first impulse was to shrink from his touch… But he was her friend, and she trusted him. She met his eyes and saw the turmoil there, and forced herself to relax. When he realized she was going to listen, he dropped his hands to the bench between them. "Fin… What—When did this happen…?" she whispered.

He looked miserable and shook his head. "I dunno—I been—I mean—Jesus, Liv, I'm around you all the time, and you're—just you: Strong, gutsy, compassionate, and—hotter 'n' hell…You're fuckin' beautiful, baby." His face showed his chagrin at the admission he'd just made. He gave a little smirk. "Hell, I figured I could handle _that_... Any man with a pulse who gets near you has to deal with that shit." He gave her a self-conscious grin, but his face soon grew somber. "But, man, Olivia—I got feelin's for you I didn't even know I had—'til fuckin' Stabler came back."

Olivia, suddenly weary, leaned back against the bench and closed her eyes… She could feel tears pressing at her lids. God, why did life have to be so shitty? She knew she'd have no choice but to hurt him. This man was more than her colleague and friend: He'd had her back on more occasions than she could count in the last few years; He was the only reason she hadn't been raped, and probably murdered, in Sealview; He truly gave a damn about her, and she cared so much for him… And now she'd been placed in a position to really hurt him.

She reached over and took his hand. She spoke softly, her eyes closed, and her back still leaning into the bench. "You know I love you—right…?" Her voice was choked with tears. "I mean, you're one of the best friends I've ever had, Fin. Why the hell did you have to go and…"

"…fall in love with you?"

She opened her eyes and looked over at him, a tear falling down her face. "Is that what you've done, Fin? Fallen in love with me…?"

He didn't look at her, but stared off into the trees. "Yeah… Pretty much covers it."

"I love him, Fin. I always have…"

He turned toward her now, speaking softly, resignation in his voice. "Yeah. I know that, Liv… Please don't cry." He reached up and tenderly thumbed the tears from her face. "This ain't your fault, baby girl." He leaned over, gently kissing her cheek. "We'll be okay." Then he stood and walked away, leaving her alone.

* * *

Olivia stood for a few moments after taking her key out to unlock the door. She was emotionally exhausted from the events of her day, and thought how ironic it was that she hadn't even been in the field. Unfortunately, this drama was all her own; she was getting too damn old for this shit. She'd missed Elliot so much, but now she was hesitant to see him. She was staggered by Fin's confession and angry with Elliot for telling Fin about them—and she dreaded telling him that she'd be working with David. She slowly inserted the key in the door, knowing she couldn't put off the inevitable any longer.

**TBC**

**Thank you for reading! A little bit of angst coming up for next weekend…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey Everybody – Thanks again to all my readers. There seem to be quite a few of you, in spite of the very few reviews I'm getting for this one… Maybe just due to how busy everyone gets during the Holidays (?) Hopefully that's the case. At any rate, thank you so much for reading, and a very special thanks to my reviewers… You're awesome!**

_Olivia stood for a few moments after taking her key out to unlock the door. She was emotionally exhausted from the events of her day, and thought how ironic it was that she hadn't even been in the field. Unfortunately, this drama was all her own; she was getting too damn old for this shit. She'd missed Elliot so much, but now she was hesitant to see him. She was staggered by Fin's confession and angry with Elliot for telling Fin about them—and she dreaded telling him that she'd be working with David. She slowly inserted the key in the door, knowing she couldn't put off the inevitable any longer._

**Chapter 7**

When Olivia stepped through the door she expected to find Elliot; instead she was greeted with total silence. Her apartment seemed strangely empty without him—emptier than before—before he came back into her life. Although she'd been dreading seeing him tonight because of the conversations she knew they'd need to have, she now found herself irritated that he wasn't here. It wasn't lost on her that she could be a bitch.

She kicked off her shoes and placed her gun and badge in the drawer where she kept them. Before she worked herself into a real state of pique, she heard a key turning in the lock. She expected it was Elliot, but out of her keen cop sense and years of habit, she reached into the drawer, lifting the gun back out… She held it down by her side, waiting to see who was opening her door. Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, she quickly replaced the gun in the drawer before Elliot stepped into the room.

"Hey beautiful… I didn't expect you this early." He beamed at her, obviously thrilled to find her there. He crossed the distance between them in two strides, drawing her into his arms. Olivia forced herself to relax into him, and returned his kiss... But then she pulled out of his arms and walked into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water for herself, and without saying a word went into the living room and sank down on the couch, opening her water and drinking deeply.

Elliot stood where she'd left him—bewildered and hurt, sensing her agitation… He understood that at least some of it was aimed at him—but he was clueless as to any reason for it. He recovered quickly and headed into the living room. Trying to rein in his frustration, he sat in the chair across from her, waiting for her to look up at him. "What's going on, Liv…?"

Olivia ran a hand through her auburn locks and sighed, glancing at him irritably.

"You wanna tell me why you're pissed at me…?" he asked, beginning to show his own irritation.

"You wanna tell me why you told Fin about us...?" she shot back, glowering at him. She jumped up from the couch and paced around the room, keeping her back to him.

His eyes widened, and he rose from the chair. "I didn't…"

Olivia swung around. "Then how the hell did he know, Elliot," she shouted, throwing her hands into the air. "You talked with him last week, and whatever you told him left him with the impression that you were pursuing me… and I was interested."

Olivia could see realization dawn on Elliot's face, but before he could make a case for himself, she narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to him. "You told me no one but Don Cragen knew about us… You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone else. What the hell, Elliot. How many other people have you told?" She turned and strode from the room, with Elliot in close pursuit.

She hadn't made it far before Elliot grabbed her arm, spinning her around and pulling her into him. "Goddamn it Olivia… At least stay and fight fair," he growled, looking down at her. Anger sparked in his eyes, turning them a deeper shade of blue.

"Damn it… let me go." She struggled against him, but he held her tight. "What the fuck, Elliot!" she sputtered, twisting in his grasp. When she looked up at him again, his eyes were focused on her lips, and she momentarily forgot to struggle. He seized the moment, pushing her against the wall and trapping her there with his body. She opened her mouth to protest once more, but before she could he fisted his hands in her hair, and slammed his lips to hers, forcing her to open to him.

Try as she might to resist him, she found herself surrendering; returning his kiss and melting into him. When he allowed her to surface for much-needed oxygen, she gasped and sagged against him, betrayed once more by her own flesh. "You call this fighting fair, Stabler?" she complained weakly.

"It was the quickest way to shut you up and get your attention, Benson," he smirked, running his thumb over her kiss-swollen lips, perversely proud that he could have this effect on her—turn her body into a pawn to be used against her.

"I'm sorry, El. It's just been a shitty day, and..."

He lowered his lips to hers again, silencing her once more. When he released her, he drew her back toward the living room. "I wanna' hear all about it… But first, will you please let me explain, Liv…?" Before she could answer, he continued. "You're not gonna like everything I have to say, but please hear me out, baby… Okay?"

They settled on the couch, Olivia refusing to sit close to him… Instead, she shifted into her corner, pulling her knees up and hugging them to her chest. "What are you gonna tell me that I'm not gonna like," she said, sounding like a petulant child.

Elliot looked at her with a raised eyebrow, slightly amused by her attitude—but equally concerned, knowing she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, his hands clasped between them. He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes, focusing on the rug beneath his feet. "Olivia, I didn't exactly _tell_ Fin about us, because it hadn't even happened yet—and it was before you asked me to not say anything to anyone."

"Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't know you were broadcasting your _intentions_, Elliot," she snapped sarcastically.

He glanced over at her. "You gonna let me do this…?"

She scowled at him and pulled further into her corner. "Go ahead."

She wasn't going to make this easy; but if he was looking for easy, he wouldn't be sitting here with Olivia Benson. He scrubbed his hand down over his five-o'clock shadow and continued. "Fin gave me shit about how I treated you… especially the way I left." Elliot paused. "He was right…" he said contritely, rubbing the back of his neck, massaging the tenseness there. "I told him I knew it—but I loved you, and was trying to make it up to you." His voice grew softer. "I think I may have told him—you might love me, too." He sat up straighter and turned toward her. "I'm sorry, Liv—I wasn't thinking—I didn't even know if it was true at the time…" He lowered his eyes for a moment, before looking back at her. "…about you maybe loving me, I mean." He paused, looking entreatingly at her. "But it made me crazy that he didn't understand how much I love you, baby, and how hard I'd been working to open a door for us. I didn't even remember it when you asked me if I'd told anyone else, Liv… It was so random—a 'heat of the moment' thing."

Olivia started to respond, but Elliot held up his hand. "There's more, Liv. This is the part you're gonna be pissed about…" He rubbed both hands over his face, struggling for words. "I was gonna tell you anyway, Olivia—I was just waitin' for the right time."

He looked so anxious Olivia was beginning to feel uneasy. She moved closer to him, and reached out tentatively to touch his shoulder. "El…?"

"Baby, you're gonna be mad at me—and you have every right to be… But please understand that I missed you so much, and any connection I had to you, no matter how little, was precious to me." He sat up and turned toward her, looking beseechingly into her eyes. "I should have told you sooner, Liv, but I had to be sure you knew how much I loved you first and that you'd give us a chance."

"Elliot! Please… What are you talking about…? What the hell could you have done, that is so terrible you couldn't tell me?" She was truly worried now, and felt a twinge of panic.

"I ran into Alex Cabot about three months after I left…" Olivia's intake of breath told him he hadn't been wrong about how she'd view this: She'd see this as a betrayal, not only by him, but by Alex as well.

Olivia couldn't believe what he was confessing to her. She felt like she'd been kicked in the gut… This day was just never going to end, with its nasty little surprises. This wasn't the same as Dr. Huang—his therapist, or Captain Cragen—his boss, being in contact with him during the past ten months… That was professional. But this was Alex… her best friend. Her eyes were dark and her voice, low. "Are you telling me that you and Alex were in contact all that time: While I didn't know if you were dead or alive; while I thought I'd done something so horrible that you hated me…?" she hissed. "And she knew you were okay and she didn't tell me? She _knew_ how much I was hurting… She must have told you that, Elliot." She slowly stood up. "I can't be around you right now," she whispered, her voice strangled by threatening tears.

Elliot was on his feet, and reaching for her before she could walk away. "Liv, please..." He tried to pull her into his arms.

"Don't! You don't get to touch me right now," she choked on a sob, as she attempted to pull away from his strong arms.

"No, Olivia, I love you—and you love me." He pulled her struggling body to his and wrapped his arms tightly around her gently pushing her into the wall to give him some support in subduing her. He captured her hands and placed them between their bodies, trapping them there. He knew he couldn't let her go right now, no matter how angry she was or how much she wanted to be alone. He couldn't let her hurt like this without his strong arms around her… and he couldn't let her run. "I knew this would be hard for you—and I didn't have to tell you, Liv—but we've promised to be honest with each other."

Olivia's tears turned to indignant anger as she continued to struggle in his arms. "You son-of-a-bitch, let me go! Goddamn you, Elliot."

He held her in a vice-like grip, careful not to hurt her… He pressed into her, holding her securely between his body and the wall. He was determined to make her listen. "Damn it, Olivia! I'm not letting you go, because I know you love me, and we have a shot at something really wonderful. I'm not gonna let you run away from this." Olivia gradually stopped struggling and leaned into him.

He continued to hold her tight, not sure if she was just waiting for him to loosen his grip. "I didn't set out to hurt you, Olivia. Believe me, Alex was the last person I expected to see that day—and just about the last person I _wanted_ to see. She was pissed as hell at me, and had no problem letting me know. After she reamed me a new one, she asked how I was doing—and I told her. We ended up going for coffee."

He felt Olivia relax more in his arms. "She listened to me, Liv, and she believed me when I told her I loved you and was trying to get my life together so I could come to you. Turns out, she always thought we had a thing for each other. I begged her not to tell you, baby…"

Olivia stirred. "And she agreed to that…" It was a statement, not a question.

"Not at first… I really had to convince her: She knew how pissed you'd be at both of us when you found out—and how hurt… And she knew she was putting your friendship on the line. But I guess she had faith in what I was trying to do, because she finally agreed to not tell you she'd seen me. I asked her if I could call her once in awhile just to see how you were doing. Liv, she helped me keep my sanity, until I could see you again."

Olivia leaned into him a little more, resting her head on his chest, and he risked loosening his hold on her, reaching up and running his hand gently through her hair. "I just needed time to show you how much I love you and how good it could be between us, before I could tell you about this, baby. If I'd told you at the beginning, you'd have kicked my ass out, and we'd never have had a shot at it." He looked down, trying to see her face, and saw the tears in her eyes. "Neither of us wanted to hurt you, Liv…" His own eyes filled with tears, and his voice broke." This was hard for Alex, too—she really cares about you. And believe me, if she'd had any doubts about me, or thought I was gonna hurt you, she'd have kicked my ass to hell and back. It wasn't me she was doing this for, Olivia… It was you."

"That doesn't make it right… or make it hurt any less," she whispered brokenly.

"I know that, Liv. And if I'd been stronger at that point, or if my divorce had been finalized, I would never have let it play out this way. I thought it would only be for a few months… I didn't intend to stay away from you for ten months, Liv… Just until I was legally divorced and had sorted some things out." He looked down at her again, and she met his eyes. "But then Haden entered the picture."

Olivia slowly removed her arms from between their bodies. Elliot thought she'd pull away from him, and he wouldn't stop her, now that he'd had his say. Instead, she leaned into him again and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close. "I'm angry, Elliot—and I'm hurt—and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle things with Alex." She looked steadfastly into his eyes. "But you're right—I _would_ have thrown you out." Her voice was tremulous as she continued. "And I would have missed out on the best thing that's ever happened to me… And that would have been a tragedy—for both of us. So you were wise to not tell me before… Thank you." She nuzzled into him.

Elliot's breath released in a sob he hadn't known he'd been holding. He pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair, murmuring his love for her. When he regained his composure, he tilted her chin up, lifting her lips to his. The kiss was tender, but before it deepened Olivia pulled away and looked up at him, searching his eyes. "Is there anything else you haven't told me?"

"No, Liv… That's everything."

Is there anyone else you've told about us?"

"No one, other than Kathy and my children—for obvious reasons… But you already knew that. There's no one else," he assured her.

"Okay." She lowered her eyes briefly, before looking up and fixing her gaze on him… The expression on her face was daunting, telling him she had something to say and he'd better be listening: "Elliot Stabler… If you _ever_ restrain me again when we're having an argument, you'd better have your health insurance paid up… This was your one and _only_."

Elliot looked into her eyes, fully comprehending how serious she was. "Duly noted."

Then she reached her lips to his and kissed him with a passion that rocked his world. "You're right, Stabler… I do love you," she whispered. "And I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier… This has just been such a hideous day, Elliot."

Why, baby? What else happened today?" Now it was his turn to be concerned.

"Ugh. I'm really hungry, El… Do you mind if we eat first?"

As much as he wanted to know what else was going on that had her so upset, he knew it was probably in both their interests to eat first. "Why don't you go take a relaxing bath and I'll fix dinner," he said, gently massaging her shoulders. "I picked up ingredients for a Chicken-Caesar salad. If you're really hungry, I'll throw a couple potatoes in the oven, and we can have baked potatoes and sour cream with it."

"That sounds yummy." She pulled away, but before she stepped out of his arms, she wrapped herself around him again, clutching him tight. "You're so good to me, El, even when I don't deserve it…" she sighed. "I love you so much, Elliot."

Elliot held her to him breathing her in, and dropping kisses in her hair. "You always deserve it, Olivia. You may be prickly and 'badass' and bitchy as hell from time to time," he chuckled, grinning down at her. "…but that just keeps me on my toes—throws a little spice into the mix. I know things will never be dull with you, Benson. And you have _always _deserved to be loved the way I love you, baby."

* * *

"El, thanks for fixing dinner—yet again." She smiled and reached over to softly caress his cheek. "It was great… Perfect."

He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing it before letting go. "You know I don't mind, Liv. Besides, I've got a lot more time than you have—at least right now. We'll renegotiate when I go back to work… Then you can cook for me."

Olivia raised a brow and gave him a look that said it all. "Do you know me?" she quipped, giving a smirk.

"Let me rephrase: You can order takeout for me when I go back to work," he said with a chuckle.

"That I can do." She scooted across the couch and snuggled up to him, reaching for the remote. "What do you wanna watch?"

"I don't," he said, taking the remote from her hand and placing it back on the coffee table. "…want to watch TV, I mean. I wanna know why you had such a crappy day your first day back."

Olivia groaned. "I was hoping you'd just forget about it," she said, giving him a hopeful glance.

"Have you forgotten about it?" he asked.

She didn't answer, but pulled away and leaned back against the couch cushions.

"That's what I thought." Elliot turned toward her. "Are you gonna make me work for this, Olivia?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes. "No," she sighed. "I just don't know what to hit you with first." She looked up giving him an anxious grin.

"Why don't you start by letting me hold you…? I've missed you today, baby. Turns out I don't like sharing you with the rest of the world," he said, pulling her back into his arms.

She gratefully sank back into his embrace and rested her head on his chest, snuggling just below his chin. "I'm gonna give you the 'nutshell' version, El." She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the words she was about to utter. "Fin is in love with me… And I have to work with David Haden on my old cases." She heard Elliot's intake of breath and felt his jaw clench, but he said nothing.

After a few minutes, Olivia lifted her head to look up at him. "Say _something,_ Elliot…. Don't just leave me hanging here."

"You couldn't have given that to me one at a time…?" he asked, glancing down at her. She detected very little humor in his tone.

She laid her head back on his chest. "You ought to be me. I've been blind-sided by shit like this all day."

Elliot suddenly had a better understanding of the state she'd been in when he came home… He realized it was about a lot more than his telling Fin about them. "Goddammit! I knew Fin had a thing for you… I was hoping I was wrong, though. Fuck!"

"I wish to hell you'd given _me_ a 'heads-up,' Elliot… I never saw this coming. I care about him, El… God, he's one of my best friends. He's covered my ass so many times in the last few years." She paused, and closed her eyes. "And today I had to hurt him." She shuddered, stifling a sob.

"Hey, this isn't your fault, Liv."

"I should have known, Elliot… Why didn't I see this coming? I could have done _something_ to head it off…"

"Because you _never_ see it, Olivia: You never notice when men are checking you out… You're totally oblivious to how beautiful you are, so you can't imagine that someone else might see you that way. And you don't believe you're lovable so you don't expect anyone to love you, baby." He held her close and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. "But in reality, you're a beautiful, sexy woman, who deserves to be loved… Adored even," he whispered, as he lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her sweetly… then pulled away so he could see her eyes again. "What did he say, Liv."

"Oh, God… I don't know." She pulled out of his arms and leaned into the cushions, running her hand through her hair. "Apparently he's been confused about his feelings for me for a while now. I didn't know he found me—_whatever…_ But he does," she sighed, blushing pretty pink.

"You mean gorgeous and sexy as hell…?" he smirked, waggling an eyebrow at her.

She smacked him on the arm. "Knock it off! This isn't funny… not to me," she huffed, pulling a little further away from him.

"I'm sorry, baby…" he said contritely. "It isn't—and I wasn't making light of it. It's just—you're so damned adorable when you get embarrassed because someone thinks you're beautiful… I mean, Jesus, Olivia… You just blushed." He watched her for a moment. "Please come back over here and let me hold you." He reached for her and she willingly moved back into his arms again. "So tell me about it, Liv."

"We went to lunch and I could tell there was something on his mind… When I asked him about it he muttered something about you."

"Me…?"

"Yeah… He's pissed that you're back in my life. He knew he was attracted to me, but when you showed up…" She gave him a sardonic grin. "…and declared your 'love' for me—he realized his own feelings were stronger than he'd thought."

"And he _said_ he was 'in love' with you…?"

"That's what he said."

"Fuck. Men are coming out of the woodwork, declaring their undying love for you."

"Elliot, don't be an ass," she snapped crossly.

He looked down at her. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Olivia: Just last week, two men told you they were in love with you… Granted, I was one of them," he said, smirking down at her. "Today, a third man told you the same thing." He paused. "And don't be pissed at me, but I'm bettin' Bayard Ellis finds you mighty attractive, too." The fleeting look in her eye and the blush on her cheeks told him he hadn't been wrong. "I'm right, Olivia… Don't deny it. Goddamn, baby… You're not gettin' older—you're gettin' better. You're a goddamned walking cliché," he chortled.

Olivia pulled out of his arms and stood up, ready to storm out of the room. "If you think this is amus…" She didn't get a chance to finish. He jumped up and pulled her back into his arms and the look in his eyes told her he didn't find this amusing—not in the least.

"This isn't funny to me, Olivia. I hate that other men even look at you, much less lust after you and declare their love. I can't stand the thought of David Haden being in the same city... How the hell am I gonna handle knowing he's in the same room with you? If he so much as breathes on you…" he threatened, clenching his fists. He pulled her close, his eyes deep blue and blazing—his voice husky. "You're _mine_, Olivia—I don't want another man even thinking about you." He crushed his lips to hers and swept her up in his arms. Before she could protest or register what he was doing, he'd carried her into the bedroom and deposited her on the bed.

"Elliot…" She lay there dazed, hesitant to interrupt, as he frenziedly carried out his intentions.

He quickly removed his clothing, casting the garments aside… Reaching his hands into the waistband of her sweatpants, he tugged them, along with her panties, down and off her body in one smooth motion. He crawled over her, lifting her tee shirt up and over her head. She hadn't bothered to put a bra on after her bath, and now she lay naked beneath him. His breath hitched when he saw her… "So fuckin' beautiful," he groaned. He lay over her, his body blanketing hers—his hard plains melting into her soft curves—setting them both on fire. Cupping one plump breast in his hand, he ran his thumb over the nipple causing it to instantly peak—then lowered his mouth to the other. She gasped when he bit her nipple, the sensation immediately registering below her waist and traveling to her core. "Mine," he murmured, tonguing the tight bud in his mouth, and rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger.

Olivia bucked her hips into him and moaned, pushing her head back into the pillow, leaving her neck exposed. He lifted his mouth from her breast and immediately attached it to the slender column, just above her collar bone, licking, sucking and nipping—gently at first… But as she writhed and moaned beneath him, he became determined to stake his territory.

He captured her wrists, splaying them on either side of her head. Holding her there, he trailed hot, wet kisses along the sexy curve of her neck. The need to mark her—make his claim on her known—became a primal force, over-ruling his better judgment: When he reached a particularly sensitive spot just below her pulse point, he sucked eagerly, biting—bruising the tender flesh. Olivia cried out and thrashed beneath him, struggling to gain some control.

"Elliot," she gasped breathlessly. "No-ooo… you're gonna' leave a mark." He was creating so many sensations in her body she could barely think. She loved what he was doing to her—her neck was one of her most sensitive areas… But she didn't want to show up at the precinct tomorrow—much less go see her doctor—sporting a hickey. And she was so hot for him right now she thought she might explode if he didn't soon switch his focus to other parts of her body that were screaming for his attention. "Please, El…"

Elliot lifted his mouth from her neck and claimed her lips, quieting her protests. His kiss was demanding as he nipped at her lips, forcing her to open to him… He probed her mouth with his tongue, tangling with her own—leaving her breathless and panting. He pulled away, allowing her to catch her breath.

"Open your eyes, Olivia. Look at me," he commanded, his voice hoarse—rasping. She did his bidding, looking deeply into his eyes. They were darker than she'd ever seen them, glinting and predatory, sending shivers of anticipation along her spine. "You're mine," he growled. He lowered his lips to hers again, this time kissing her tenderly, longingly—never taking his eyes from hers. "Mine," he repeated, as he kissed her lips and gazed into her eyes; his own eyes shining with his love for her.

He released his hold on her wrists, and she wound her arms around his shoulders, bringing her hands up to cradle the back of his head. She pulled him closer, returning his kisses while she ran her fingers up the back of his neck and into his hairline, grazing her nails lightly along the short hairs on his scalp—losing herself in his gaze.

When they finally surrendered to the need for oxygen, her head fell back onto the pillow and he trailed kisses over the contours of her cheekbone, moving slowly along her jaw line, and dipping down to her neck once again, seeking the mark he'd left behind. He gently kissed and licked the deepening bruise.

The ache between her legs was becoming an unbearable throb… She could feel the hard length of his cock pressing into her thigh and she needed him inside her. "I _need_ you Elliot," she pleaded, pushing her pelvis into him and trying to maneuver her legs around his hips.

He willingly obliged and settled between her legs, sliding his hand across her ribs and down over her taut belly, slowly brushing her sensitive mound. He feathered his fingers lightly over her damp curls and stroked up her slit—already slick with her juices—eliciting a soft moan. Slipping a finger between her folds, he pushed inside, feeling her immediately tighten around it as she bucked into his hand. "Elliot, please… I need you," she whimpered again, as he inserted a second finger, moving slowly—stretching her.

Leaning his weight on his forearms, he positioned himself at her entrance, and slowly pushed inside her. She gave a near-sob of relief as he filled her, and she wrapped her legs around his hips, securing him to her, as she slowly moved with him. She reached her arms around his broad shoulders, trailing her fingers up and down his back, scraping lightly with her nails.

"Open your eyes, Olivia," he rasped, waiting for her to comply. Her eyes were heavy and she wanted to lose herself in the sensations that were her rocking her body, but she knew he wouldn't be denied. She opened them, peering into the stormy blue eyes before her. He thrust into her, grunting at the sensation, his own eyes nearly closing for a moment—but he recovered and fixed his gaze on her once more. "I love you, Olivia. You're mine—only mine," he groaned, thrusting into her again.

She reached up to tenderly caress his face, as he drove deep inside her, causing her to whimper and moan, calling his name… She found it difficult to concentrate on anything but the fire he was fueling between her legs. She finally found her voice. "I _am_ yours, Elliot—_only_ yours," she whispered, gasping as he hit a particularly sensitive spot, her head rolling back and her eyes closing—but only for a moment. She opened them once again, staring into his. "I love you so much, El."

As though he'd been waiting for the words—the confirmation of her love for him, he fisted his hands in her hair, roughly pulling her to him and claiming her mouth, kissing her deeply, as he slammed into her with a powerful thrust of his hips, taking what was his; what she so willingly gave. She was powerless to do anything but hold tight as he hammered into her, again and again.

The intensity of her response to his lovemaking as he took possession of her body was overwhelming… She rode the crescendo of ecstasy he was creating, her nails raking down his back, leaving a trail of welts in their wake. As she tightened around his thick shaft, the waves of her orgasm came crashing down, sending her over the edge—screaming his name. He came cascading after her, the powerhouse that was his body, shuddering violently as he emptied into her. Three words wrenched from him in a gasping sob, as he dropped his head to her chest. "You're _mine,_ Olivia."

**TBC**

**Thank you for reading! Chapter 8 will be up next weekend.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews… I really appreciate them! I didn't think they'd matter to me, but without them you start to feel like you're operating in a vacuum, and you really don't know if folks are enjoying the story. **

**I know I haven't said a lot about where this is going, but, as all you writers out there know, the characters sometimes do the dictating—so I don't always know. I will promise you this… There'll be some angst ahead. I intend to continue with the 'ten chapter' venue, so this one wraps up in the next two chapters, and will land us into the next one, which will have more of a plot—with a case to solve—and start about six months ahead of where New Beginning leaves off. It is my intention to continue to try to keep the storyline as 'real' as possible, but still go off in my own direction with Elliot and Olivia. And, oh yeah, Elliot will be with the FBI and perhaps… get to work with Liv.**

**One more note: I've been reading some of the stories that my fellow fanfic writers have written, and there are some great ones out there! So I won't feel like a hypocrite after asking for reviews, I plan to catch up with some of the stories I've read, and I'll be leaving some reviews myself.**

**Thank you all! On to El and Liv:**

_The intensity of her response to his lovemaking as he took possession of her body was overwhelming… She rode the crescendo of ecstasy he was creating, her nails raking down his back, leaving a trail of welts in their wake. As she tightened around his thick shaft, the waves of her orgasm came crashing down, sending her over the edge—screaming his name. He came cascading after her, the powerhouse that was his body, shuddering violently as he emptied into her. Three words wrenched from him in a gasping sob, as he dropped his head to her chest. "You're __mine,__ Olivia."_

**Chapter 8**

Elliot rolled over, eagerly reaching for her—wanting to pull her into his arms. Instead of her warm body, his hands connected with cold, empty sheets. He opened his eyes, squinting at the bedside clock. It was nearly six-thirty… He realized, no doubt, she'd been up for some time getting ready for work. Groaning, he pushed himself to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes—attempting to bring himself to a point of cognitive functioning.

The unmistakable aroma of coffee acted as an enticement… Dragging to his feet, he pulled on his clothes and stumbled to the bathroom. Finding it empty, he took time to relieve himself, wash his hands and face, and brush his teeth before heading to the kitchen.

Olivia was sitting at the table nursing a cup of tea, unaware she had an audience. She wasn't yet dressed for work, but she'd clearly showered and done her hair and make-up. She was wearing a short silk robe, the dusty-rose color accentuating her pink lips. Her auburn hair fell softly around her shoulders, coppery highlights shimmering in the morning sunlight streaming through the windows. Her robe had fallen partially open and he could see her generous cleavage, the tops of her breasts peeking above the black lace of her bra. His breath caught as he took in her loveliness—his cock immediately registering the effect she was having on him—and his mind wandered to last night and their love-making.

She looked up as he stepped into the room, giving him a smile—her eyes warm and welcoming. She stood and walked to the counter, reaching for the coffee pot… She poured his coffee as he came up behind her, pulling her to him—burying his face in her hair, his mouth hungrily seeking her neck. "Mmmm… Mornin' sleepyhead," she murmured, setting the pot down. Turning, she wrapped her arms around him, tilting her head up to look into his eyes.

"Mornin,' baby…" He lowered his head and kissed her lips, groaning at their softness—their sweet honey-ginger taste lingering on his own as he pulled away to gaze at her beautiful face. His eyes traveled down, taking in her creamy golden neck and shoulders, and the voluptuousness of her breasts, spilling slightly over her bra cups. He reached a hand to them as he lowered his mouth to her neck, moaning as his lips brushed her warm satiny skin and his fingers grazed the lacy edges of her bra—feeling the fullness there. He lifted his head to look at her—but stopped short—his eyes widening in horror.

What is it, El…?" Olivia demanded, alarmed by the look on his face.

Elliot reached up to gently touch the angry bruise on her neck, half-hidden by her hair. "Oh, God, Liv… Did I do that…?"

"Uh—I haven't been sleeping with anyone else, El… So, yeah—that's your handiwork."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." Guilt and regret clouded his eyes.

"Really…?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "…because I was pretty sure that was your objective last night, Elliot—to mark your territory," she smirked.

Remorse was clearly written all over his face. "Not like that! That looks painful… Does it hurt, baby…? How are you gonna cover it up?" He tenderly rubbed his thumb over the area, as though the action might make it disappear—growing more agitated, as he thought about her walking into the 1-6 wearing the evidence of their love-making.

"No, it's not painful… And I'm gonna cover it with make-up and wear a high-collared shirt—and wear my hair down. It's too warm to wear a turtleneck… That would be a dead giveaway, anyway."

"Will that work…?"

"It should be fine for the precinct—but I don't think it'll help much at the doctor's office," she said with a sigh.

"Fuck! Olivia, I am _so_ sorry, baby." His face said it all as he pulled her to him, running his hands through her hair and kissing her forehead.

"Hey, El… It's okay." She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, guiding his eyes to hers. "Last night was amazing!" Her voice became a husky whisper. "I've never felt so desired, or loved, or needed—as you made me feel last night, Elliot." She raised her lips to his and kissed him sweetly, but her eyes questioned his as she pulled away. "You know that's how I feel about you, too… right? I don't _ever_ want anyone but you… I've never felt this way about anyone else, Elliot—not ever," she declared fervently, bringing a smile to his face. "I _am_ yours, El. _Only_ yours…"

She stepped out of his arms. And I can't bear to think of you with another woman," she said quietly, glancing up at him and quickly turning away—just a tinge of pink rising to her cheeks. "Last evening—when you started to tell me about Alex—for just a minute I thought you were gonna tell me you'd slept with her." Her voice grew so soft he could barely hear her. "I felt like I was gonna die—and then I wanted to _kill_ her."

Elliot pulled her back into his arms. His look of amazement was quickly replaced with a soft smile. "Oh, baby… There's no one I ever want to be with but you, Olivia." He tilted her chin, raising her eyes to his. "That's something you'll never have to worry about, believe me… Even if you _weren't_ the sexiest, most beautiful woman I know." He grinned down at her, holding her to him and gently swaying her in his arms. "It feels kinda nice to know it bothers you though," he teased.

Olivia sniffled and pulled out of his arms, giving him a dubious smile. "You're gonna make my mascara run—and I'm gonna be late for work if I don't leave pretty soon." She took a step—then turned toward him again. "Oh, my appointment's at 4:00…"

"Okay. You want me to meet you there or pick you up at the precinct?"

"Pick me up… I'll walk in this morning, and that way we can come home together tonight."

"Or… I could just give you a ride in this morning, since I plan on making you late," he smirked, pulling her back into his arms, the evidence of his intentions pressing solidly against her hip.

* * *

The precinct was bustling by the time Olivia breezed in—managing to be only ten minutes late. She got herself settled at her desk, and took a quick look around. She was relieved to see that Fin and Nick were already out—saddened to realize how anxious she was about seeing Fin again… Not quite sure how to handle the new dynamic in their relationship. And Cragen had just handed a slip to Munch, so he and Amanda would be heading out, too.

Olivia sighed, dreading the paperwork that was piled on her desk—longing to be back in the field… She truly missed it. With the week she'd taken off, and now, the imposed desk duty for at least several more days, this would be the longest she'd ever been out of the field in her thirteen years on the job—of course, not counting when she was undercover. As wonderful as it was to finally be involved in a deeply satisfying relationship, and despite how much she loved Elliot, she still needed the day-to-day rhythm she'd grown so accustomed to: She needed the rush she got from taking down a perp—and the gratification that came from knowing she'd been instrumental in giving something of value back to a vic. Since Sealview, her anger at the perpetrators and her empathy for the victims had increased to a degree that probably bordered on unhealthy… But each time she played a part in bringing down some scumbag—and handing an innocent man, woman, or child the pieces that might help them start to heal—it soothed something deep within her. Rousing herself from her thoughts, she booted up her computer and grabbed the first stack of paperwork, forcing herself to turn to her task.

Olivia looked up from the pile of paper that hadn't seemed to dwindle in the least in what felt like hours—but in reality was only 90 minutes. She heaved a sigh and rose from her desk, stretching the kinks from her neck and back. She hesitated for just a moment before storming over to Captain Cragen's office… Peeking in, she knocked on the open door, not waiting for an invitation before entering and slumping into the chair in front of his desk.

Her boss was engrossed in his own paperwork, concentrating on the small print on the form in his hand. He slowly lifted his head, raising an eyebrow and giving her a quizzical look. "Something on your mind, Benson…?"

She sighed, running her hand through her hair, and leaned forward in her seat… Her left leg was bouncing, the pen in her hand clicking non-stop—all fueled by nervous energy. "There must be something I can do besides sit behind that damn desk and mindlessly enter data, Don…" Her plaintive tone was almost comical, but the pained expression on her face told him she was miserable.

"Olivia, my hands are tied on this one… You know that. At least next week you'll have a little change of pace when you work with David Haden…" He glanced at her, misreading the fleeting panic in her eyes. "I realize it may come with some stress, Liv—being forced to justify cases we both know were good—especially after the Pena case." He looked at her with concern.

"No, you're right…" she mumbled. "It'll be better than doing paperwork." She gave him a hesitant smile. "Can I at least do some interrogation, Don," she pleaded. "…as long as I'm not in the field…? I'm gonna go crazy sittin' in front of that computer."

He leaned his elbows on the desk, his hands folded in front of him and his chin resting on his thumbs… He peered over at her—contemplating her dilemma. "I don't see any harm if you sweat a few perps…" he finally agreed with a grin. "You wouldn't be leaving the precinct, and maybe we can put all that pent-up energy to good use," he added drily, eyeing the pen in her hand—giving her a knowing smirk.

* * *

It was nearly noon. Olivia walked out of the interrogation room, her satisfaction palpable as she threw a look at Nick. "God, that felt good, Amaro," she declared, beaming over at him as the door closed, leaving Arnie Dillon—now a quivering mess slouched over the table—in Munch's capable hands.

Nick's face was a mix of amusement and admiration as he glanced over at his partner. He still wasn't too sure how she felt about him, but since he'd proven he'd had her back in the Hammond Island Wildlife Preserve things had been a lot easier between them. He was in total awe of how she handled herself in the field, and equally amazed at her interrogation skills: She was dauntless—a force to be reckoned with—ranging from sexy feminine concern one minute to tough-as-nails super-bitch the next. He would never want to be the poor slob on the wrong side of the table when she was the interrogator, he'd decided as he'd watched her in action through the two-way window.

As they entered the squad room, Olivia's stride faltered. Her eyes connected with Fin's, but he quickly looked away and her heart broke a little more at the situation they found themselves in. She intended to talk with him as soon as they could find a few moments of privacy.

She knocked on Cragen's door and heard his "Come in." Opening the door, she poked her head in, a big smile on her face. "We got it, Cap," she announced. "He offered up everything… The SUV _is_ his, he _was_ in the warehouse, and he _does_ know Sandra. He claims it was consensual: Oh—except she didn't want to have _sex…_ His words, I swear," she sneered, a look of utter contempt on her face.

Cragen looked up at her with amusement, his eyes crinkling. "Good work! I take it you had fun…?"

"Oh, yeah… Beats sittin' behind a desk any day."

"Welcome back, Detective." He smiled at her fondly. "You'll be back in the field soon," he encouraged, as she moved to close the door.

She hesitated, lifting her eyes back to his, a grateful smile on her face. "Thanks, Don…," she said softly. "…for everything."

She settled at her desk, and looked around the squad room, noting it had mostly cleared out in the few minutes she'd been speaking with her Captain. Munch was over at the coffee maker preparing yet another pot of his vile brew, and Fin was sitting alone, staring at his computer. She quickly grabbed her phone. 'Meet me in the cribs?' she texted him. He reached for his phone. After reading the message, he looked over at her, his eyes hooded. She thought he'd refuse, but he slowly stood, giving a quick nod and heading toward the stairs. Olivia followed him up, and he opened the door, holding it for her to enter.

After closing the door he walked to the opposite side of the small room, facing away from her—not saying a word. Olivia raked her hand through her hair. "Fin…?" He turned toward her, his arms folded across his chest and his face a mask of pain… But he held her gaze.

"Whadaya want me to do, Olivia…? I can't 'unsay' what I said yesterday." He looked miserable and Olivia stepped closer to him.

"I don't want things to be awkward between us—I care about you, Fin… Our friendship means more to me than you can know." She beseechingly sought his eyes. "Jesus, Fin—you saved me over these last few years." Her voice dropping to a near-whisper, she continued. "Especially after… Elliot left." She hesitated, lowering her eyes—but only for a moment. "Please, Fin—what can I do…?" she implored, her eyes silently pleading with him as they filled with tears.

He covered the last few steps between them and reached for her hand, holding it in both of his as he looked into her eyes. "Don't cry, baby girl… I hate it when you cry." He ducked his head and cleared his throat before lifting his eyes to hers again. "I'll be alright—I got no other choice… Its jus'—th' heart wants what th' heart wants." Sadness touched his face, but his lips curled in a half-grin at the corny platitude. "An' I guess my heart wants you," he admitted, giving her a soft smile. "But I'll get over it—and we'll be okay." He reached up to gently push the hair away from her face and gave a sharp intake of breath, roughly grabbing her collar and pulling it away from her neck. Dropping his hand as though he'd been burned, he stepped back and turned away from her.

"Fin… what the hell…?" She suddenly realized with dismay what had caused his reaction. "Oh, God…," she groaned, reflexively bringing her hand up to cover the mark on her neck.

He turned on her in a flash, all the softness gone from his eyes. "I see Stabler _marked_ his territory," he sneered, the sound harsh and accusing. His eyes held a hardness he'd never focused on her before.

The tears fell then. "Please, Fin…"

"No, Olivia! I can't do this… I thought I could, but… It's not your fault, baby girl—I'm not mad at you—but I can't be around you right now." He started to turn away, but Olivia reached out to touch his arm.

"Fin… I'm so sorry. I didn't know you cared about me—like that…" she whispered, her eyes full of pain.

"I know that, Liv… I didn't even know it m'self." He stepped closer and took her into his arms, resting his chin in her hair and holding her to him. She didn't resist, knowing this was a manifestation of their friendship—and nothing more. When he pulled away, he tilted her chin to look into her eyes. "If he _ever_ hurts you again, Olivia," he growled fiercely, "I won't be respons'ble for what I do to him, baby girl." For the second time in as many days, he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks… Then he turned around and walked out, leaving her standing alone.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon dragged as she diligently slogged through the latest pile of DD5s. Occasionally, she needed to ask for clarification from one of the other detectives, when handwriting was illegible—or the meaning wasn't clear… But she didn't engage in any other interaction, her heart too heavy to be bothered with banter. Finally, at 3:30 Olivia's phone beeped, telling her she had a text. She grabbed it from the desk and lifted it to read the message. 'You're chariot awaits, my love.' She grinned and shot Elliot a quick reply acknowledging his text, and closed all the programs on her computer, shutting it down. Once again the squad room was mostly empty… She grabbed her purse and headed for the elevators, nodding good-bye to Amanda as she flew out the door.

She opened the passenger door and quickly slid into her seat, giving a sigh. "I'm so glad to see you," she gushed, reaching across the console to give him a quick peck on the cheek, then pulled away to resettle in her seat. Before she could work her seatbelt around her, Elliot grabbed her… He pulled her back over to his side, tangling her in his arms, and kissing her thoroughly. When he released her, she raised an eyebrow, giving him a perplexed look. "_That_ is how you greet your prince when he brings the chariot around," he announced with a goofy grin.

"I see," she chuckled. "Guess I should have gone to princess school, instead of wasting my time at the police academy."

"Nah… You're not the princess type. You just look like one… Although, you do have enough cosmetics, and hair and skin products to qualify," he added, impishly raising one eyebrow as he grinned over at her. "But you'd have been unbearable," he smirked, catching her hand as she reached to smack him in the arm. "Hey—admit it, Benson. You'd have hated it, and you would have made everyone else miserable. You wouldn't have played nice with all the other princesses—you wouldn't have put up with their whining and primping and histrionics… You'd have been kicking 'princess' ass and spoiling all their fun."

Olivia was laughing now, picturing the scenario he'd described. "Yeah… You're right. You know me too well, Stabler." She grinned as she adjusted her seatbelt. "Thank you… You just made me forget every unpleasant thing that happened today—at least for a few minutes."

"Did you have another crappy day?" he asked with concern, as he pulled away from the precinct.

"No, not really… Actually it was pretty good: I got to interrogate a perp in one of Munch and Rollins's cases. Don took pity on me and decided since I'd still be in the precinct it wouldn't hurt. I got him to confess… God, it felt good," she exclaimed, a smile lighting her face.

"So what were the 'unpleasant' parts of your day…?"

Olivia hesitated. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, chewing on it thoughtfully as she wrestled with how to answer him: She had no intention of hiding things from him, but there were some things he just didn't need to hear. "Oh, you know… It's just a little awkward being around Fin right now—and Don reminded me I'll be meeting with David next week. And paperwork sucks! But other than that, it was a pretty good day—except now I have to go see my doctor with a hickey on my neck," she teased, smirking over at him.

* * *

Olivia sat in Dr. Benjamin's waiting room with Elliot, waiting for the second part of her appointment. Much to her great relief, and in no small measure, to Elliot's, she hadn't needed a full exam. Her police physical was up-to-date and Dr. Benjamin had only wanted to talk to her during this visit... All that had been needed were the standard BP, temperature, and heart & lung checks—none of which required removal of her clothing.

Dr. Fulton had indeed forwarded all of her notes to Dr. Benjamin, so she was up-to-speed, and she was of the opinion that Olivia hadn't actually had a black-out—at least not last week. She felt it was much more likely that she'd simply fainted due to the rise in blood pressure and lack of oxygen that occurred during the panic attack and resultant hyperventilation. It had probably been exacerbated by the fact that David was kissing her at the time, thereby cutting off her oxygen supply even more. Dr. Benjamin believed she'd fainted, and when she'd come to, she was confused and in 'fight' or 'flight' mode. She chose to fight—hence the attack on David. Olivia was relieved, but not surprised… She'd surmised as much, herself.

True to her promise to Dr. Huang, Dr. Benjamin was doing everything she could to expedite Olivia's case so she could be cleared for full duty. She'd even managed to arrange for a consult with Dr. Jensen—a neurologist within her practice—and they were waiting for him to join them now. Olivia had filled Elliot in on Dr. Benjamin's assessment, and they were just going over the pamphlet that the doctor had provided concerning the neurological exam.

"It's a three-part exam that can be completed right here in the office, El. The first part is 'mental status' and that's done by just talking with me… He'll be observing my 'level of awareness and interaction with the environment'—you know—things like my awareness of person, place, and time, and making sure my speech is clear and I make sense." Elliot started to comment, and Olivia rolled her eyes. "Don't even bother with the smartass remark."

She continued to peruse the information in the pamphlet. "The second part is 'motor function and balance.' I guess there're a series of exercises, like standing and walking with my eyes closed, testing my reflexes with a reflex hammer… and some other simple tests that will be done right there in the office."

"Sounds pretty easy so far," Elliot said, trying to appear interested, but becoming distracted by the way her hair was falling over her face as she read the brochure. "How much longer do you think it's gonna be before he gets here?" he asked, smiling lecherously as she raised her eyes to his. "Think we've got time to find an empty room somewhere…?"

"Elliot!" she whispered, mostly irritated, but a little turned on.

He grinned at her wickedly. "I can't help it if you look so damn sexy… Tell me some more about the tests," he said, attempting to placate her.

She gave him a condescending look and continued. "The last part is the 'sensory exam,' she read. "This is done by touching an instrument like a dull needle, tuning fork, alcohol swab or some other object to different parts of my body and I have to identify what the sensation is—you know—like hot or cold, dull or sharp…"

"Jesus, Olivia," he groaned. "We can play that at home—and I won't need any foreign objects."

Before Olivia could respond, Dr. Benjamin stepped into the room and invited her to join Dr. Jensen and herself in her office.

Forty-five minutes later, she emerged, a smile on her face as she walked toward Elliot, who was looking extremely bored. His face lit up when he saw her. "You all set?" he asked, standing up and reaching for his jacket.

"Yeah… All set."

"How'd it go?" He opened the door and placed his hand at the small of her back as he ushered her through it and toward the elevator leading to the parking garage.

"Really well… I passed all the tests with flying colors." She looked over at him and gave a little sigh. I still have to have a CT scan, though… Just to be sure there's nothing going on. But as long as that's okay, they'll give me full clearance."

"I, for one, am pleased the doctors are being thorough," he said pulling her to him and kissing her forehead, as they rode the elevator down to the parking level.

"Yeah, me, too…" she agreed grudgingly. They disembarked from the elevator and headed to the car. "I'll just be glad when it's over, though, and I can get back in the field. I still have to meet with George on Friday and Dr. Fulton on Monday. I hate all these appointments," she sighed. "Oh, the CT scan is scheduled for Tuesday at 9:00 AM."

"Good… I'll come with you." They'd reached the car, and Elliot stopped her, pushing her up against it and fisting his hands in her hair. He leaned in for a kiss. When he pulled away, he gave her a sexy waggle of his eyebrows. "Right now I'm takin' you home to conduct my own 'sensory exam,'" he growled in her ear, as he groped for her breast.

She stopped his hand as she gave him a sexy look, peering up at him from under the fringe of her lashes—her voice breathy. "Feed me first and you can conduct all the tests you want, Dr. Stabler."

* * *

It turned out that Elliot was quite skilled at playing doctor, especially in the area of 'sensory testing', and before long he had her in complete 'sensory' overload. Two hours later, Olivia lay in his arms, thoroughly tested—both completely sated.

"I think you missed your calling, El… Perhaps you should be a neurologist," she teased. She lay in his arms, making lazy circles on his chest.

"Nah… It wouldn't be any fun unless you were my only patient," he smirked, as he pulled her closer, and ran his hand over her naked body, connecting with her breast, and lightly pinching her nipple.

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "You do know you're not 'testing' anything else tonight…?

"Yeah… even I can't move anymore," he agreed, nuzzling her shoulder. "I can't believe what you do to me, Olivia… I haven't had this much sex—well, probably never," he admitted. "My god, baby, we're both on the other side of forty-five… This is crazy."

"I hope you've noticed I'm not complaining, Stabler."

"Yeah… I noticed, Benson," he growled. He peered down at her, his eyes dark. "Good thing… It wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you."

She gave a soft laugh, and rested her head on his chest, enjoying the afterglow of their love-making. After a few minutes Olivia raised her head and looked up at him. "Hey, what do you hear from Eli…? What are the plans for the weekend?"

Elliot chuckled, rolling over so they were facing each other. The only thing I hear from Eli is: 'When do I get to see O, 'Livia again?' – He had a ball with you last Saturday, Liv.

"Well, I had a ball with him. What do you guys have planned for this weekend?" she asked, hoping that whatever plans they had, could include her.

"I was actually gonna talk to you about that… Maureen and her boyfriend are coming into the city, and I told them maybe you'd join us for lunch on Saturday?" The hopefulness in his eyes gave her no doubt how much he wanted her there.

"I'd love to El, but I want to be sure it's what they want—_and_ that you'll get some time with them—without me there."

He looked into her eyes. "Yes—on both counts. It was Maureen's idea—and they're spending the night." He gave a groan and hugged her to him. "God, I hate being away from you… Do you know how much I'm gonna miss you, baby?"

"A lot…?" she teased.

"Yeah—a _whole_ lot… I love you so much, Liv. I fuckin' hate bein' away from you."

"Yeah… I'm not real fond of that myself," she agreed, reaching up to kiss his lips.

"We need to start thinking about how we can remedy that, don'tcha think…?"

She reached up and caressed his face, smiling into his eyes. "No, babe, I don't. We need to give your kids more time, El. It's been less than two weeks… Let them adjust."

"Damn, I hate it when you're the voice of reason." He hesitated. "But I love you for it, baby."

"So tell me about Maureen's boyfriend… Is this serious?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Humph," Elliot grunted. "Too serious..."

"Elliot! She's what, twenty-six now…? What's the problem if she's in a serious relationship…? Do you not like her boyfriend?"

"Umm… He's alright. It's just—she's my baby girl, ya know?"

"Well, your baby girl is old enough to be married and starting her own family, El." She looked into his eyes, smiling indulgently at him. "Maybe it's time you let her go, huh…?"

* * *

Olivia sat in George Huang's office, nervously awaiting his arrival. She couldn't understand for the life of her why it was so much more intimidating to be meeting with him than it was to meet with any of her other doctors or therapists. She'd grown quite fond of him over the last several years, and had even missed him when he'd been in Oklahoma—and yet—it still unnerved her to be sitting here. Perhaps it was because he knew her so well, or because he was intimately acquainted with the components of her job: He knew first-hand the horrific devastation of the victims she dealt with everyday, and the depravity of the perpetrators she apprehended. Or maybe it was because he'd been meeting with Elliot, and she'd no doubt been a topic of their conversation from time to time. Whatever the reason, it had her on edge.

"Olivia. Hope I haven't kept you waiting too long..." Her thoughts were interrupted when the good doctor stepped into his office.

"No—no that's fine, George. I suspect it's a ploy anyway—to keep your patients stewing in their juices," she quipped, only half joking.

"Oh… And why would you think that, Olivia?" he queried as he settled behind his desk, picking up his pen and a small notebook.

She looked at him, realizing the question was genuine, and obviously the first probe into her psyche. "You're serious, aren't you?" she challenged.

"You must have been referring to _something_, Olivia… What were you thinking about before I came into the room?"

'And so it starts,' she thought to herself, somewhere between amused and irritated as hell. She might as well answer the question since she was sincerely trying to cooperate with her caregivers in the attempt to conquer the final manifestations of the PTSD… She wanted to put Sealview behind her, once and for all. And maybe George would have some insights as to why this unsettled her so much. She looked up and gave him a wry smile. "I was thinking that you unnerve me more than any of my other doctors, and wondered why that was—especially since I count you as a friend."

He worked hard to maintain his professional demeanor, but Olivia could see the grin he was trying to suppress. "That's an excellent question, Olivia. Why do _you_ think I unsettle you more than any of your other doctors?"

Olivia groaned. "And here we go… Why is it you can't just once answer my question, instead of turning it around on me? I really am curious about this, George." She let out a sigh of frustration.

"Because what I think isn't important, Olivia… We're here to find out what _you_ think.

* * *

Olivia sat at her desk worrying her lower lip as she thought about her session with Dr. Huang. It had been enlightening—on several levels. He'd coaxed from her all the possible reasons why she thought seeing him for an evaluation might make her more apprehensive than seeing any of her other doctors: She'd given him the list she'd just gone over in her head while she'd waited for him, and he'd agreed with her… It was, without a doubt, a combination of them all.

They'd covered a lot of ground, touching briefly on the most significant issues in her life, in recent years: Her experience at Sealview and the subsequent PTSD symptoms; her relationship with her half-brother, Simon; a few of the more horrendous cases she'd dealt with in the past few years, including the one that had brought Calvin into her life—and the effect losing him had had on her. She'd even revealed her brief relationship with David Haden, and how it had played into the flashback and _assumed_ blackout last week; and of course, her current relationship with Elliot. He'd hastened to assure her he'd never share anything she revealed to him with Elliot, and by the same token would never reveal any of Elliot's therapy points to her.

She'd become tearful a couple of times as they'd discussed some of the issues, which had prompted her to share _that_ particular frustration with him… She'd never been quick to tears, not in her whole life—especially not in front of anyone else. But in the past year, and especially the last few weeks, the situations that could bring her to tears were numerous—seemingly endless, and she was at a loss as to why that would be the case. His answer had surprised her: Apparently, she'd finally stopped fighting and started letting her walls down… She was giving herself permission to feel her own pain, and in the process, allowing healing to begin. It was a _good_ thing, he assured her… She found that comforting—but no less frustrating.

In the end, he'd told her he saw no reason she shouldn't resume a full work load and go back into the field, as long as her other doctors agreed. He told her she was probably in a better place than he'd seen her, and congratulated her on the obvious hard work she'd been doing on her own. After the session was officially over, as she was leaving the office he'd given her a big smile and told her how happy he was for her and Elliot.

Olivia was pulled from her reverie by Elliot's ringtone on her cell phone. She picked it up, turning away from curious eyes and ears in the squad room. "Hey, what's up," she asked.

"Hey, baby. Feel like doin' some celebratin' tonight…?"

"That depends… What're we celebrating…?"

"I just got my acceptance into the next training session at Quantico… I leave a week from Monday."

Olivia hesitated, her emotions a bit of a rollercoaster. "That's great, El," she finally blurted out. She managed to sound excited _and_ sincere, but she was really dreading having him gone, after they'd just started to get used to being together—at least during the week. But she was happy for him, knowing how much it meant to him—so she enthusiastically agreed to go celebrate. "Where are we going?"

"How 'bout Chin Chin on East 49th Street…? I hear they've got great food, nice atmosphere—good ratings from the critics. Do you feel like Chinese…? I mean really _good_ Chinese that doesn't come in a cardboard carton…?"

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, El… That sounds great. I'll need to come home and change first, though, so…"

Elliot didn't allow her to finish. "About that… You know that sexy red dress you wore to the Christmas party a few years ago…? Do you still have it?"

Olivia didn't answer right away, trying to remember if she still had it, if it was clean, and if it still fit, remembering it was a little snug—at least for her liking. "Yes, El… I still have it and I think it still fits—it was a little tight…"

"Ooh, baby—I remember! Tight in all the right places…"

Yeah, well… I've put on a few pounds since then, Elliot, so…"

"Again, in _all_ the right places…" he growled. "I'm thinkin' it should be just about perfect."

"You're incorrigible, Stabler…"

"That's part of my appeal, Benson… You know you love it."

**TBC**

**Thank you for reading! Last chapter to be posted next weekend...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you, everyone for reading. And to my faithful reviewers… You're the best!**

_Olivia laughed. "Yeah, El… That sounds great. I'll need to come home and change first, though, so…"_

_Elliot didn't allow her to finish. "About that… You know that sexy red dress you wore to the Christmas party a few years ago…? Do you still have it?"_

_Olivia didn't answer right away, trying to remember if she still had it, if it was clean, and if it still fit, remembering it was a little snug—at least for her liking. "Yes, El… I still have it and I think it still fits—it was a little tight…"_

_"Ooh, baby—I remember! Tight in all the right places…"_

_Yeah, well… I've put on a few pounds since then, Elliot, so…"_

_"Again, in __all__ the right places…" he growled. "I'm thinkin' it should be just about perfect."_

_"You're incorrigible, Stabler…"_

_"That's part of my appeal, Benson… You know you love it."_

**Chapter 9**

Olivia had finally put the finishing touches on the outfit Elliot had 'requested' she wear… Between the low neckline and the high hemline, she was more than self-conscious about leaving the apartment with her abundance of curves showcased for the world to see—she wasn't twenty-something anymore… But tonight was about Elliot. She'd chosen a black wrap—a soft silk material—to drape around her shoulders to hopefully provide a little coverage. At the last minute she'd remembered she still had a hickey to camouflage—the evening was not starting on a good note for her. Fortunately, after rummaging around in her jewelry boxes she'd found the choker she'd been searching for… It was black and beaded, and just about covered the offending mark. With a skillful application of make-up as a final cover-up, she was good to go. She'd changed out the earrings she'd first chosen, for a pair of small black pearls—better-suited to the choker, and slipped her feet into simple black heels. She'd grabbed her wrap, and Elliot had hustled them to the waiting cab.

She was still trying to settle herself, as the cab pulled out into traffic. "Are you gonna dictate what I wear every time we go on a date," she inquired, looking slightly irritated as she adjusted the bodice a little higher and tugged on the hem, trying to persuade it to cover just a bit more of her shapely thighs.

"Do you have a problem with that, Benson…?" He was eyeing her like she was the main course in a gourmet meal, as he reached his hand over to snake up under the hem she'd just adjusted. "I happen to think I do a damn fine job of it… You tend to downplay all your god-given assets—I prefer to _enhance_ 'em," he smirked, watching her face as her breath caught, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth—trying to fight the sensations he was creating between her legs.

"You're a cocky bastard, Stabler… You know that, right?" she gasped as she removed his hand. "And what is it with you and cabs…? Are they a natural aphrodisiac for you…?" She looked up at him as he moved closer, taking her in his arms, and leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I don't need any aphrodisiac with you, baby. I was just checkin' to see if you were wearin' panties," he whispered, his breath hot on her neck—loving what he was doing to her.

"Jesus, Elliot! I can barely get this dress to cover my ass…" she hissed. "Did you really think I'd be comfortable flashing half of Manhattan…?"

"Nah—just wanted to be sure… Thought I might have to cover your, uh, _assets,_ with my jacket. I was tryin' to be a gentleman," he said with feigned indignation. Smiling down at her, he leaned closer to her lips. "You're gorgeous, ya know… Red is definitely your color—one of 'em." He eyed her up and down, lingering on the cleavage spilling over her bodice." You look so damn sexy I can't keep my hands off you," he growled, pressing his lips to hers.

She looked into his deadly blue eyes, and dissolved into him, returning the kiss with more enthusiasm than he'd expected. When she pulled away, she looked up at him, her eyes smiling in appreciation at what she saw as she reached up to caress his face. "You're kinda' gorgeous yourself, Stabler," she purred. "I definitely need to keep my eye on you tonight. And no, I don't mind when you dictate what I wear," she said softly, lowering her eyes—feeling a little embarrassed having admitted it. "I _want_ to please you…" She looked back up at him. "…especially tonight: Tonight is about _you."_ She leaned her forehead against his, gazing into his eyes. "Congratulations, El… I'm very proud of you, you know," she murmured, running her fingers along the back of his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

* * *

Olivia exited the restroom and collided headlong into a stranger… He reached his hands out and pulled her to him, to keep her from falling. "Hey… you fallin' for me?" he chuckled. "Mmmm, mm… Where have you _been_ all my life…?" He held her to him, leering down at her, his eyes on her breasts as though the question had been directed to them.

Before she could react, Elliot was there, grabbing her and pulling her into his arms. "The lady's with me," he growled. The rage on his face told her things were going to escalate… Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him—pushing her tongue into his mouth as she backed him away—trying to keep his attention on her while the stranger slinked off. She convinced him to forget it and accompany her—albeit reluctantly—back to their table.

"So… What, Elliot…?" Olivia was somewhere between amused and extremely pissed off, and trying desperately to not create any more of a scene in the crowded restaurant. "You insist I wear these revealing outfits—that you've gotta know are gonna draw some male attention to me—just so you can get pissed when some guy checks me out…?"

"He was doin' a hell of a lot more than checkin' you out, Olivia…" Elliot spat, fire sparking in his blue eyes. "…and you know it"!

"Shhh, Elliot… Please lower your voice."

He took a moment to calm down before continuing. "He had his goddamned hands on you! He was tryin' to pick you up and he knew damn well you were with me… I should have arrested his ass…"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You're not a cop anymore, El. Remember…?"

"Then you should've arrested him…"

"I'm pretty sure he didn't break any laws, Elliot…"

"I've been watchin' him check you out all night, Olivia. He _stalked _you for god's sake: The minute you headed to the ladies room he got up and followed you. I watched him waitin' there for you to come out. And sure enough—as soon as you did, he made his move... He stepped directly in front of you, so you'd have to bump into him."

"So that's how you made it over there so fast…? You were watching him…?"

"You're damn right I was!" he hissed, trying to keep his voice down. "I should've punched him…"

"Elliot… Elliot! Settle down, babe." She reached over and took his hand in hers. "If I'd known that, I might have decked him myself..." She ran her thumb softly over his hand, smiling into his eyes as she continued. "…but what you did was perfect: You were classy—and suave—a real gentleman. I was kinda turned on…" she said, giving him a saucy grin.

"You were…?"

"Yeah, I was. You didn't make a scene to make me feel even more conspicuous… But you really put the creep in his place. I was impressed, El."

Olivia watched as the tension drained from his shoulders and he settled back into his chair.

"I guess it didn't hurt the way you greeted me, baby," he chuckled. "The way you muckled on to me, I thought we were gonna have a full make-out session…"

"I thought distracting you at that point was a good tactical maneuver."

Elliot shook his head. "Jesus, Liv…. I'm sorry."

"Hey, Elliot, you have nothing to be sorry for… I love that you look out for me—the guy was being a jerk. And I appreciate you not making a scene." She flashed a teasing grin at him, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "And if you could just _not _give me another hickey tonight to prove I'm yours—that'd be okay too."

He pulled his chair closer to hers and draped his arm over the back of it. "Whadaya say we call it a night," he said, looking her over with pure lust. "…and I'll take you home and help you peel that dress off—and _not_ give you a hickey."

* * *

Are you sure, baby…? You don't have to do this you know, Liv… I mean, after Seal…

She reached up and placed her fingers over his mouth, not allowing him to finish the thought… "El, this is different—this is you. There's nothing I'm not comfortable doing with you. I want this babe, so just lay back and let me have my way," she insisted, her voice a sexy purr. She straddled him, pushing her naked breasts into his chest, and kissing his lips as she pushed him back down on the bed. She pushed herself up, gliding down his body—her already wet panties connecting with his raging erection as she slid from his torso and down over his thighs to kneel between his legs, her knees sinking into the soft carpet.

Elliot was so turned on by her nearly naked body kneeling between his legs he was quite sure he could come just watching her. "Close your eyes, El," she instructed, as though she'd read his mind. The sound of her voice was low and silky… He could feel her warm breath and soft curves on his thighs, causing goose bumps to cover them. Disappointed, he did as she requested, determined to open them again when she took him into her mouth—that was a sight he had no intention of missing. He wasn't quite sure what she had planned, but the anticipation was killing him.

Olivia reached for a small bottle of peppermint lubricant and removed the cap. She drizzled some on him, and he jerked as the cool liquid oozed over his most sensitive parts. She slowly massaged it into his engorged cock using her warm, wet tongue. He gasped at the contrasts of cold and heat—then moaned as he felt a tingling sensation created by the lubricant.

She pulled away and picked up the bottle again, dribbling a small amount onto her tongue, and lowering her face to him, gently grasping his balls… He groaned as she slowly sucked one into her mouth, running the peppermint lube all over it with her tongue; she repeated the process with the other, leaving them cool and tingling—driving him wild.

She reached for another bottle—this one containing unscented, edible oil… Knowing how big he was, she knew she'd need the extra help taking him into her throat. She poured a generous amount into her hands, rubbing them together to warm it, before sensuously massaging the oil over his hardened cock, and down over his balls—causing him to moan and writhe at her touch.

"There…" she whispered seductively. "…now you're ready for me." She felt him shudder as she positioned her lips over him, taking just the head of his penis—slick with oil—into her warm mouth. She ran her tongue over it, circling wetly, then drawing it between her lips and slowly moving it in and out of her mouth—tightening her lips a little more each time. He lifted his head and opened his eyes, groaning at the sight that greeted him.… He'd never seen or felt anything as erotic as Olivia's luscious lips wrapped around his throbbing cock. Her brown eyes connected with his, and the heat he saw there assured him she was enjoying this.

He could feel the pressure building in his balls and he knew he wouldn't last long with what she was doing to him. It took all his restraint to not reach down and wrap his hands in her hair, and buck his hips… But in spite of what she'd said, he knew the memories of Sealview were still strong, and she needed to control this.

She took him a little deeper, tracing her wet tongue down the length of his cock, using more pressure when she reached the underside… His groans were peppered with her name, and he cried out as his body responded. "Jesus, Liv… Oh my god, you're amazing—fuck, baby." She bobbed her head up and down, traveling the length of him, slowly increasing the pressure of her lips, and the ministrations of her tongue.

When he thought he could stand it no longer, she plunged him into her velvety throat, holding him there as she reached one hand up and gently massaged his balls, increasing the pressure to within a hair's breadth of uncomfortable—driving him mad. He could feel his orgasm building… She was taking him to a place he'd never been and he thought he might actually die from the pleasure she was giving him. "Olivia, oh baby… Jesus, baby…" He couldn't stop himself then—he had to buck his hips… But she was ready for him and quickly took back her control.

She released him from her throat—still holding him in her warm, wet mouth—sucking and driving him crazy with her tongue. Continuing to massage his balls, she brought her other hand up to the base of his cock, encircling it with her thumb and forefinger, holding it in a tight vise. She plunged him back into her throat, taking him deeper still… but effectively controlling his movements: Keeping her thumb and finger in a tight hold there, she slowly moved them—very slightly, up and down in rhythm to her thrusts, concentrating more pressure on the underside with her thumb—each time taking him deep into her silky throat.

Elliot grabbed fistfuls of bedding to anchor him… He'd never experienced anything like this in his whole life, and was fleetingly unsettled as he wondered how the hell Olivia had ever become this skilled—but quickly realized he didn't give a damn at the moment… He only cared that she was giving him pleasure beyond his wildest imaginings. "Oh Baby, I'm gonna… You don't have to… Oh, fuck, so good, Liv…" He was incapable of finishing his thoughts and she was relentless, not allowing him to pull away—fully prepared to take everything he had for her.

And then he had no more conscious thought as he felt himself go up and over the precipice, stars bursting before his eyes. "Oh, god, Olivia," he roared, as he thrashed on the bed, riding out his orgasm. She held him tight, making sure he got it all, but lessened her motions as he shot into her mouth, his hot cum filling her… Each time she swallowed, he gave her more, until he finally lay quiet on the bed—with just an occasional quiver. When he was completely still, she slowly removed her mouth and hands, being careful to not cause discomfort to his overly-sensitive cock. She sat back on her heels for a moment to rest, before rising to join him on the bed.

He pulled himself further up on the bed, and Olivia lay down beside him, snuggling in close and draping her arm around his chest. "Congratulations, El," she said, her voice a sultry whisper.

He wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly to him, as he lay there recovering. When he could finally move again, and speak in full sentences, he pulled her up onto his chest until he could reach her mouth. He kissed her tenderly, groaning when he tasted himself on her lips. "Jesus, Liv… That was fuckin' phenomenal… I've never had anything even close to that, baby." He ran his hand soothingly over her warm skin.

"Mmmm… That makes me happy, El," she said softly, leaving a trail of wet kisses on his chest.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that, Olivia…?"

He felt her body stiffen. "Really, Elliot…? You're really gonna ask me that…? What do you want me to say—the internet…?" She started to pull away, but he held her tight.

"Hey, baby—I'm sorry… I didn't mean it like that. Hell, Liv, I know you've been with other men… But I'm also pretty certain you've never had what we have with anyone else—just like me, Olivia. In my nearly twenty-five years of marriage, I never had anything even close to this with Kathy… Not like what I have with you." She relaxed back into him, not saying anything.

Elliot pulled her closer, gently kissing her forehead. "Are we okay, baby…?"

"I told you, El… You're the only man who ever made me come while he was inside me—really making love to me." Her voice was soft—broken. "I didn't allow most men to get that close—so there was a lot of oral sex… Somehow, it didn't feel as intimate—it wasn't personal… I wasn't giving as much of myself to them."

Elliot reached down and tilted her chin up… Pulling her to him, he gently kissed the tears from her face, tasting their saltiness—understanding the gift she'd just given him with her words… And the toll it took on her. "I love you so much, Olivia."

* * *

"O, 'Livia," Eli squealed as he ran toward her full tilt. She scooped him up into her arms returning his fierce hug. "I missed you, O, 'Livia… I been waitin' an' waitin' an' waitin' to see you again," he told her with an earnestness that tugged at her heartstrings.

"I missed you, too, Eli… And I've _really _been looking forward to the weekend so I could see you, too," she assured him, placing him back on the ground and taking his hand.

Elliot walked toward them, his cell phone at his ear. "Okay. See you in about five minutes… We'll go inside and get a table." He placed his phone in his pocket and closed the few steps between them, drawing Olivia into his arms and kissing her. "I missed you this morning, baby."

"Eew, Daddy… Don't kiss O, 'Livia… I wanna talk to her."

Elliot raised his eyebrows and smirked at Olivia. "Okay, buddy… I'll let you and Olivia catch up. Let's go inside, though, so we can grab a table and wait for Maureen and Turner." He reached down and took Eli's other hand and they walked into the restaurant with the little boy between them.

The restaurant was filling up, but since it was not quite noontime, it wasn't long before they were seated at a table for five.

"O, 'Livia promised I could sit 'side her, Daddy," he informed his father gravely.

"That's fine, Eli, but I'm gonna sit on the other side of her… That okay with you…?"

"Yep… Is that okay with you, O, 'Livia," he asked, looking up at her with childish adoration.

"Yeah, that's fine with me, Eli." She leaned over to him and whispered conspiratorially. "And I won't let him kiss me," she promised him with a wink, eliciting a giggle.

"Hey, you guys… No whispering," Elliot complained, having heard Olivia's promise—enjoying the mutual bond the two were forging. Olivia looked over at Elliot with a wider smile on her face than he'd seen all week, and immediately returned her attention to the little boy who was causing it. He marveled at the natural connection between them, and was humbled as he understood it was partly because of the incredible love this beautiful woman had for him. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard Maureen's voice as she and Turner approached the table.

"Olivia," she squealed, much as her younger brother had earlier.

Olivia rose from the table, allowing Maureen to wrap her in a hug. "It's so good to see you, Mo… You look terrific! I don't suppose this handsome young man has anything to do with that…" she teased, as she held her hand out to Turner.

Maureen laughed shyly, and introduced them. Liv, this is Turner Bradshaw, my boyfriend—and Turner, this is Olivia Benson, my Dad's girl…" she hesitated as she looked uncertainly at Olivia and then her father.

"Girlfriend—definitely… My girlfriend," Elliot supplied firmly, standing up and wrapping an arm around Olivia, as he reached over to shake Turner's hand, and place a kiss on his daughter's cheek.

"Very nice to meet you, Turner," Olivia said, untangling herself from Elliot and taking her seat beside Eli, who was impatiently awaiting his turn to be greeted by his big sister.

"Mo, Mo… O, 'Livia is sittin' 'side me, he announced as everyone seated themselves around the table.

"I can see that, Eli… You're a very lucky boy." She reached over to ruffle his curls, smiling adoringly at her youngest sibling.

"Hey, buddy," Turner said, grinning as he gave Eli a high-five.

"Hi, Turner..." He hastened to add, lest anyone not understand the importance he placed on that fact, "This is my new friend O, 'Livia." Olivia smiled and leaned over to him, telling him about some the items on the menu that might spark his interest.

"I already know what I want for my lunch," he assured her. "I always, always have chicken nuggets and French fries when I go to a rest'rant."

"Okay, then—how 'bout a vegetable, though…?" she asked, smiling down at him.

"Do I gotta have one…?"

"Do I _have to_ have one, Elliot corrected patiently. "And, yes… You know you do—so help Olivia pick one for you—okay, buddy…?"

"Okay," he said resignedly. "I like corn… Will you ask them if I can have corn, O, 'Livia…?" He looked up at her, his face hopeful—trusting she would do his bidding, and her heart melted once again as she looked down into the big blue eyes that reminded her so much of his Dad's.

The ordering was done, and everyone settled into comfortable conversation as they waited for their lunches to arrive. Conversation flowed freely—or as freely as it could with a four and a half year old at the table. "So tell me about what's happening with you, Mo… I understand you're interning with a law firm on Long Island…?" Olivia asked, diverting her attention for a moment from Eli.

"I am—I love it! I'm actually enrolled in a pre-law program at Columbia, which is how I was able to get the internship…"

"Your Dad said you were maybe gonna do that—that's great Maureen. You should talk to Alex Cabot… She might be able to give you some tips—or even pull a few strings."

"I never thought of that… Thanks, Liv—I think I'll call her. Do you happen to have her number?"

"I do." Olivia jotted it down and handed it to Maureen, as she turned her attention to Turner. "Where did you and Maureen meet, Turner…?" she asked, handing a piece of paper and her pen to Eli, to keep him entertained.

"We met at Columbia. I was finishing up my J.D. there… I just started with a small practice on Long Island. Actually, it's the same firm Maureen interns for…" he said, reaching over to take her hand.

Maureen smiled up at him, her devotion obvious. "Yeah… Except I plan to study criminal law and Turner specializes in corporate." They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment, and Olivia was pleased to note that Turner looked every bit as smitten as she did… Maureen looked away and cleared her throat—just a tinge of pink on her cheeks. "But, enough about us. You look awesome, Olivia!" Her eyes were mischievous as she looked over at her father. "And I haven't seen my Dad look this happy in—well—forever."

Elliot groaned. "Maureen…," he warned.

She ignored him. "Can I assume it has something to do with the two of you being together?"

Olivia blushed and looked over at a grinning Elliot. Pulling her to him, he smiled into her eyes. "Yes. You can." He gave her a chaste kiss on the lips and released her, as Eli voiced his disapproval.

"Yuck! O, 'Livia, you said Daddy couldn't kiss you while you were sittin' 'side me, remember…?"

"I do, Eli… I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again," she promised, as everyone laughed.

Their meals arrived and talking slowed for a while as everyone satisfied their hunger.

"Hey, Dad… Have you heard anything from Quantico?" Maureen asked as she finished up and stacked her plate on top of Turner's, setting them aside for the waitress to remove.

Elliot wiped his face with his napkin and pushed his plate away, a grin spreading across his face. "As a matter of fact, I have. I leave next Monday for orientation…"

"That's awesome Dad… Congratulations!"

"Yes… Congratulations, Mr. Stabler," Turner said.

"Turner, please call me Elliot—I've never been Mr. Stabler. I've been Detective, or Daddy or Elliot—or El," he said softly, catching Olivia's eye. "…but never Mr. Stabler. Mr. Stabler was my father."

"Okay, sir—uh, Elliot…" He smiled at Elliot, not allowing the older man to intimidate him, and Olivia had to give him credit—because Elliot could be a very intimidating man.

"So Dad, tell us about it…" Maureen encouraged, while Olivia drew pictures with Eli on the back of a placemat to keep him occupied.

"Well, this first week will be spent testing my skill levels to see how much of the program I'll need to complete. I'll need to qualify to a certain level in each of the categories in order to not be required to participate in the whole program. Once that's done, they can determine where my deficits are… and then set me up accordingly. I'm hoping I won't be gone all week…" He looked over at Olivia. "…but I'm afraid I may need to be."

Olivia tried not to let show on her face what she was feeling. She couldn't imagine being separated from him for a whole week... The thought of being away from him for one night was killing her.

Lively conversation ensued, but it was soon obvious that Eli wasn't going to be placated much longer and they agreed they'd better leave the restaurant. Maureen and Turner had shopping to do while they had the opportunity to be in the city, so they made plans to meet Elliot and Eli at home later in the day, and said their good-byes to Olivia.

Maureen hugged Olivia and spoke quietly in her ear. "Thank you, Liv… I've never seen him so happy." She pulled away and there were tears in her eyes. "If you love my Dad—even a fraction as much as he loves you—you're a very lucky couple."

Olivia looked at her, tears in her own eyes now. "I do love him, Maureen—so, so much. Thank you," she whispered, as she pulled away.

* * *

The rest of the weekend dragged, and Olivia did her best to keep herself occupied and her mind off Elliot. The time she'd spent with Eli had been precious. After Maureen and Turner left, Eli was devastated that he'd not had more time with her, so the three of them went to the playground in the park. They'd spent a couple of hours there—playing on the swings, slides and other playground equipment—and wrapped it up with an ice cream cone and a stroll around the park. Elliot had stayed close by her side and managed to sneak in a few opportunities to wrap his arms around her and hold her close—kissing her soundly when Eli wasn't looking… And when it was time to leave it was a toss-up as to which Stabler 'boy' had the saddest face.

She spent her time cleaning the apartment, catching up on laundry and bills, and preparing a simple Sunday dinner for Elliot—proving to him she _could_ cook—she just needed the right motivation.

She ended the weekend in his arms, their lovemaking sweet and tender—culminating in pillow talk—making up for the hours they'd been apart.

Olivia was draped over Elliot, her head resting on his chest. "I had so much fun with you and Eli. You two are a lot alike, ya know: He's got some of your mannerisms and expressions—even that Stabler intensity…" she quipped, looking up at him with a sassy grin. "And those blue eyes—he's all Stabler." Elliot chuckled, and she snuggled deeper. "It's no wonder I love him."

"What's not to love…?" he smirked, running his hand down over the warm plains of her back, and up along her side—edging ever closer to her breasts.

"Don't let it go to your head, Stabler," she scoffed good-naturedly, turning just enough to out-maneuver his roving hand. "You're already pretty full of yourself."

"Hey!"

She ignored his protest and continued. "It was great to see Mo, El… She's turned into a really lovely young woman—in every sense… You should be very proud."

"I am, Liv… Believe me."

And I kinda liked Turner… He seems like a solid guy, Elliot. He clearly adores your daughter—and he's not intimidated by you… I think that's pretty remarkable! Although it puts him in the minority—there are so few of us," she teased.

He swatted her shapely ass, and rolled her over, leering down at her. "You're not intimidated by me, huh…? Maybe I need to give you another hickey." She wrestled against him, holding her own until he started to tickle her, and she became helpless with laughter. No longer able to struggle she lay beneath him, her wrists held captive above her head… He grinned wickedly as he leaned down to nip playfully at her neck, and then captured her lips, before once again claiming her body.

* * *

Monday morning came way too soon, and Olivia was torn: On the one hand she wanted the time to pass quickly and end this holding pattern she was in… She couldn't wait to complete the final steps needed to ensure her passage back into the field; On the other hand, she wished time would just slow down—dreading that Elliot would be leaving in one week, and the comfortable routine they'd grown accustomed to would be irrevocably changed. Regardless of her mixed emotions, she knew time would plod along—steadily forward—at its own pace.

She sat in Dr. Fulton's office, discussing the reports that had been forwarded to her by Drs. Benjamin and Jensen. "Olivia, I'd say it's most likely that you'll be cleared later this week… Of course, barring any concerns found on the CT scan—which no one anticipates," she hastened to add, looking up at Olivia. "I'll forward a letter of clearance to your Captain and copy you, as soon as I have reports from the other doctors.

"Thank you." Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. This was certainly what she'd expected, but it was good to hear it voiced by Dr. Fulton.

"You're making good progress, Olivia… The panic and anxiety seem to be under remarkable control, and I'm going to venture a guess that it's directly related to the fact that you're finally, openly, sharing the experiences that caused them, and allowing yourself to acknowledge the pain they created."

Olivia chuckled softly. "That's pretty much what Dr. Huang said on Friday: It seems it's a 'good' thing that I've spent a fair portion of the last few weeks—months really…," she admitted wryly. "…in tears."

"That is a 'good' thing Olivia… You need to feel your pain to eradicate it—you need to grieve the losses it represents. Your experience at Sealview stole something from you, you'll never recover… Not in the same way. It doesn't mean you won't emerge stronger and better, in spite of the experience—but you'll never be the same. The betrayals you felt—both at the hands of your partner, and at the hands of David—were devastating… They deserved tears—and mourning. And losing Calvin… I could go on, Olivia, but you get the picture," she said gently, noting the sadness on her client's face.

"Yeah… I do." Olivia sniffled, smiling as she raised her eyes.

"Let's meet again next week, and we'll decide from there whether to terminate, or continue a little longer," Dr. Fulton said, rising to signal the end of the session.

* * *

"Olivia, I've got another perp I'd like you to take a crack at," Cragen said as he emerged from his office and strode over to her desk. She looked up at her Captain, the gratefulness in her eyes causing him to chuckle… "My god, Olivia… You'd think I'd just handed you a chance at the lottery," he said, shaking his head in amusement, handing her the file that would bring her up-to-speed.

"Yeah… I know. It's really sad when shaking down some asshole is the highlight of my day," she replied. She shook her own head with much less amusement—something closer to disgust on her face. Her morning had been spent at the hospital in a paper-thin gown—her backside exposed—waiting for the damn CT machine to be freed up for the few minutes she'd need it. Apparently, having an appointment is meaningless when you're sent for tests… She could understand that—especially in her job: emergencies happen. But why she needed to remove her clothes as soon as she arrived, when the machine was clearly tied up for the next hour or two, was beyond her. To add insult to injury, Elliot hadn't been allowed to come with her beyond the waiting room doors—and waiting was never his strong-suit. By the time she'd finally made it back to where she'd left him, he was cranky. All in all, the experience had been beyond frustrating, and she'd been in a pissy mood ever since.

She headed to the interrogation room, pausing outside to watch her partner through the two-way window. Nick was leaning down, inches from the face of the man he was trying to extract information from—attempting to intimidate him… It wasn't working. The man had a smug look on his almost-handsome face… He was big, and built—not as built as Elliot, but definitely strong. She perused the notes in the file once more, formulating her approach—realizing with a sick feeling in her gut why Cragen had called her in on it, as she looked over his MO. Carl Lamphier had been accused of raping five women: all of them attractive, strong, professionals; all of them middle-aged; all of them brunette; and all of them fitting Olivia's body-type. Their professions ranged from teacher to corporate lawyer. He was smart enough to not leave any DNA, so a confession was their only hope of nailing the bastard.

She sighed, knowing the role she'd need to play with this asshole: She'd need to distract him, turn him on—get him to drop his guard—and the thought filled her with loathing… She felt rage bloom in her chest.

Calming herself, she took a minute to prepare for her role: She reached up and removed the clasp from her hair, letting it cascade down around her shoulders. Bending over slightly, she threw it forward, combing her fingers through it. When she straightened, she threw her head back, allowing it to flow freely—leaving it in just enough disarray to be sexy. Then she unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse, pulling the lapels down, revealing cleavage that would be sure to catch his attention. She reached into her pants pocket and took out her ever-present lip gloss, touching it to her lips—forming them into a bow as she applied it, to leave them with a pouty look.

She took a deep breath and opened the door to the interrogation room, stepping in quietly and leaning against the wall to observe for a moment, waiting for Nick to turn his attention her way. When he looked up, he did a double-take and raised an eyebrow—a question in his eyes.

"Captain needs you," she said by way of explanation, her voice strong and commanding. "I'll wait here until you come back." She knew Cragen would brief him and send him back in, having no intention of leaving her alone. Fin and Cragen would be standing by, just outside—observing through the glass. For now, she'd stand here and be eye-candy for the jerk-wad sitting at the table—hoping to work him up, get his blood pumping. By the look on his face, it was working… She could swear he'd just licked his lips, as though she were his next meal. She ignored him—examining her cuticles—looking bored… Acting like he didn't exist, as he grew more agitated—his eyes never leaving her—raking over her body. She hoped Nick would come back soon before she acted on her impulse to leap across the table and permanently wipe the smirk off the smug bastard's face.

Nick finally returned and sat down. "Carl, this is Detective First-Class, Olivia Benson. She has a few questions for you." The man looked up at her, his eyes glittering as he ran them up and down her body, finally focusing on her chest.

Olivia strode over to the table and pulled out a chair… Still not acknowledging him, she threw the file down and laid out the photos of the five women he'd brutalized, before she sat down. Once seated, she raised her eyes to his, her look of derision intentional, used as a tool to goad him. When she spoke, her voice was strong—laden with contempt. So what's the matter, Carl…? Have problems getting a woman… Can't get laid so you have to rape them…?"

He leaned forward, leering at her. "I'd have you so wet for me you'd be begging me for it," he snarled.

Olivia didn't move… She held his gaze, never flinching. "Really…? Is that how it played out with them, Carl…?" she gestured to the photos on the table. "Were they all hot for you, until you couldn't get it up without inflicting pain…? Is that the only way you can perform, lover boy…?" she taunted, her voice dripping with the loathing she felt.

The man jumped up from the table so quickly, Nick didn't have the opportunity to react before Olivia had slammed him against the wall, her hand splayed across his face, her knee between his legs putting enough pressure on his balls to keep him from moving. Nick stood close by knowing she'd be pissed if he intervened when she didn't need it, but Fin and Cragen stepped into the room in case things got out of hand.

"Tell me about it, Carl," she mocked. "Tell me how they all wanted you. How you couldn't get it up without roughing them up—just a bit…"

"You fuckin' whore bitches, you're all alike… Not happy 'til you've taken everything away from a man—his money, his job, his reputation… You don't stop 'til you've emasculated us—then you use your bodies to tease—promisin' somethin' you never deliver." He spat his vitriol, looking Olivia in the eye—his voice deadly calm.

She held him tight, continuing to goad. "Is that what happened, Carl…? They teased you, and then didn't let you have it—so you had to take it…? That the on…"

Carl roared and lurched forward, throwing her off him and tackling her to the floor, straddling her as he ripped her shirt, the buttons popping off, leaving her exposed. He wrapped his hands around her throat, his face so close to hers she could feel his fetid breath. "I'll show you what I did to those whores… I'll do you right here you teasin' bitch… You're just like 'em…"

Before he could do further damage, Fin and Nick grabbed him, hauling him off her, and throwing him against the wall… Nick threw punches at him until Cragen demanded he stop, and Fin knelt beside Olivia.

"Hey, baby girl, you okay…?" He helped her up from the floor as she tried to cover up by wrapping her tattered shirt around herself. Fin took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders, pulling it closed in front, but not before he had a full view of the torn lacy black bra barely holding her voluptuous breasts. He knew it was a vision that would keep him awake nights for some time to come.

She rubbed at her throat. "I'm fine," she managed to croak. She caught his eye. "Thank you, Fin," she whispered, knowing what the close proximity to her was costing him.

Nick cuffed and mirandized Lamphier. "Get him out of here," Cragen ordered—his disgust palpable. "Liv, sit down—I think you should be checked out… Did you hit your head?" The worry in his eyes was unmistakable, and Olivia knew what he was concerned about.

"Don, I'm fine… I didn't hit my head—really. I don't need to be checked… I'll probably be a little sore tomorrow—but I'm fine. Then her eyes lit up like it was Christmas. "We got him!"

"Girl, you're crazy," Fin smirked, shaking his head.

Cragen looked over at her with affection, a little less worry in his eyes, but still unsure she wasn't hiding something. "I'm with Fin on this one…" Then he gave her a big grin. "But you're right—we got him…. There's no way in hell he'll worm out of that. Congratulations, Benson."

* * *

Olivia dragged herself up the steps to her apartment, dreading to tell Elliot about the interrogation with Lamphier… But knowing she had no choice—since her body had developed several bruises, including the handprint on her throat. She took the elevator to the fourth floor, and retrieved her key as she headed to her door. She turned the key in the lock and walked in, stopping short as soon as she crossed the threshold. The curtains were all drawn and candles were softly burning. There were fresh flowers in vases scattered around the room, and the smell coming from the kitchen was divine. Music was playing soft and low from one of the cable music channels on the television. She stepped further into the room and saw a bucket with ice and wine, chilling on the table.

"Hey, beautiful… Welcome home." Elliot quickly made his way to her. Taking her in his arms, he kissed her with sweet passion and then looked into her eyes. "Baby, I'm so sorry I was a jerk at the hospital, today… I know it wasn't your fault. I know I can be a bastard, Liv… Please don't give up on me."

"El… You were a little cranky—that's okay. I don't blame you, Elliot—it was a long wait—I was pretty pissed, too. And besides, I know how bitchy I can be—and you put up with that…" she said, giving him a smirk. "You didn't have to do all this—but I love you for it." She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a soulful kiss.

"I just drew you a bath—thought you might enjoy a chance to unwind before dinner."

"She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "You have no idea… What did I ever do to deserve you, El…?"

He held her closer. "I've been asking myself the same thing… I mean—what did_ I_ do to deserve _you_," he chuckled. "How was your day…? Were you overtaken by paper—are you gonna need to file a 'workman's comp' claim for paper cuts…?"

"Not quite."

"Hey—I don't even get a smile…? I thought I was a little funny…"

She gave him a half-hearted grin… "Not that funny." Pulling out of his arms, she turned away, heading toward the bathroom. "I really do need that bath, El… Thank you."

He watched her, looking perplexed. When she groaned, he noticed she was moving stiffly, as though in pain. "Olivia, what happened to you…?" he asked, rushing to her side.

She sighed and turned toward him. "I had a run-in with a perp…"

"I thought you weren't in the field, yet… Did you get clearance already? I didn't think they'd move that fast…"

"No—no, El. I was interrogating someone, and he attack…"

"Where the hell was your partner?" Elliot roared, startling her.

"Jesus, Elliot…calm down! My partner—and Fin and Cragen—were right there. It just happened so fast…"

"Did you get checked out…? Are you okay, baby…?" he asked, pulling her back into his arms.

She winced. "No—I didn't get checked out, because I'm okay… I'm just gonna be a little stiff for a few days. That's why I'm so grateful you prepared a bath for me, which I'm gonna take right now," she said, reaching up to give him a peck on the lips.

Elliot followed her into the bathroom. "Do you need some help…?"

"It depends on what kinda help you're offering, El." If you're gonna take my clothes off and molest me… I don't think I'm quite up to that kind of help." She looked up at him with a teasing grin.

"No, baby—I'm serious… You're in pain—I promise… I _won't_ 'molest' you." He smiled down at her, his eyes full of loving concern as he started to unbutton her shirt—the one she'd changed into after the attack. "You weren't wearing this, this morning… You were wearing your purple blouse."

"Yeah—well... That blouse was a casualty of the attack."

Something changed in Elliot's eyes. He reached up and touched the clear handprint around her neck that had been hidden by the shirt and her hair—in the dimness of the candles. "What did he do to you, Olivia…?" His voice was hard—flat. "Don't sugar-coat it. I want the truth." Her body tensed, and she started to pull away, but he gently wrapped his arms around her. "Please."

She sighed and sank into him, realizing this was the way it would be between them from now on: He would need to know what happened to her whenever there was an incident on her job that put her in harm's way… If he couldn't be there, he'd need to trust she wouldn't hide anything from him after the fact—and she loved him for it. She told him about the interrogation and the attack—in detail.

"Jesus, Liv…" He pressed his forehead to hers and looked into her eyes. "Thank you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, but I'd really like my bath now."

"I think the water's cooled off, baby… You finish undressing, while I run it again."

* * *

"Liv… Would you step into my office please?" Cragen stood in his doorway, holding a file in his hand, as Olivia made her way to his office. He stepped aside and motioned her to the chair in front of his desk, and she gingerly sat down—still feeling the effects of her run-in with Lamphier two days ago. "I think this is what you've been waiting for…" he said with a grin, as he handed the file to her, and settled on the edge of his desk.

She opened it and looked it over… There were four letters—one from each of the doctors who had evaluated her—each clearing her for full duty. When she looked up, there was a brilliant smile on her face and her eyes were misty. "I really am okay," she breathed, for the first time understanding just how much she'd needed to know it—suddenly grateful that her boss had insisted she be evaluated. "Thank you, Don. I didn't realize how much I needed to know that…"

He beamed at her. "I needed to know it, too, Liv."

"Does this mean I'm back out there tomorrow," she asked eagerly.

Cragen ran his hand over his face, and looked down at her. "Uh, I'm afraid not, Olivia. You're meeting with Haden tomorrow, in the conference room… He's requested you for most of the day."

Olivia stood up, wanting to leave his office before she showed any emotion. "Okay," she said, and went back to her desk. She sat down, shifting in her seat to get comfortable—there were huge bruises on her right hip and shoulder from her impact with the concrete floor when Lamphier had tackled her, and her whole body was stiff and painful. She'd actually been thankful she hadn't needed to be in the field the last few days, and it probably wouldn't hurt to have tomorrow and the weekend to fully heal. But even though she'd known it was coming, she dreaded meeting with David—especially for the whole day. Elliot would not be pleased.

* * *

"Why don't you just stay home today…? You've got more time coming, and you're still pretty uncomfortable..." Elliot walked into the bedroom where Olivia was dressing for work. He sauntered over to her, and pulled her into his arms, taking the opportunity to graze her nipple through her silky bra cup, eliciting a slight hiss followed by a moan, as she relaxed in his arms. "You could soak in the tub… I'll even give you a full-body massage," he said, leering down at her.

Olivia chuckled. "Elliot, I know what you're tryin' to do… And it's not gonna work. I have to go in today. Besides, I wanna get this over with.

Elliot tightened his arms around her. "But I'm gonna be gone all next week," he whined. "We've only got tonight and Sunday night to be together.

"Can't I spend some time with you and Eli tomorrow…?" she asked, looking a little worried that the answer might be 'no.'

"Yes, of course, baby… But that's not the same… Eli won't share you."

She laughed and pulled out of his arms, turning her attention back to dressing. "Elliot, you have no idea how much I'm gonna miss you next week… But we both know the reason you don't want me to go in today is because of David. If I don't meet with him today, we'll just have to reschedule for next week. Do you really want me to meet with him while you're out of town…?" She turned around, quirking a brow at him.

Elliot pulled her back into his arms. "I don't want you to meet with him at all," he said harshly. He continued, softening his tone. "But I know you have to… I swear, Olivia, if he makes a move on you, he'll have me to answer to…" he declared, fisting his hands in her hair and claiming her lips.

* * *

Olivia reached for a file and felt a hand close over hers. She looked up and pulled her hand away as though she'd been burned, glaring over at David. "If you can't keep this professional, David, I'm walking out of here right now." Her voice was calm, and left no doubt she meant business.

He swallowed hard, looking chagrinned. "I'm sorry, Olivia… This is a hell of a lot harder than I expected." He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. When he opened them again, the pain was unmistakable. "You're so damn beautiful, Liv," he whispered. "Even more beautiful than you were three weeks ago… if that's possible. I wish I could go back and do it over—I'd never have let you go."

Olivia pushed her chair away from the table, and moved to stand up. Her heart ached for him, but she knew there was only one right way for her to approach this. "Stop, David… We're not doing this—you made your decision. You either pull it together, or I'm walking out of here. And you can explain why I won't work with you."

* * *

Olivia lay in Elliot's arms. They hadn't made love for two nights because of her injuries, and she was looking forward to making up for lost time, even though she was still a bit stiff—knowing how gentle he'd be with her. "You've been really quiet, Liv… What happened between you and David today…?"

"Nothing, Elliot." She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him. "Really, El," she assured him. "He told me he missed me, and wanted to talk about it… But I shut him down. I told him he either kept it strictly professional, or I was walking out the door. After that he conducted the rest of the day in a completely professional manner… In fact, he was quite cold—not very talkative."

Elliot ran his hand along her back, gently massaging the areas he knew were causing her pain. After a moment he spoke. "Do you regret your decision, Olivia…?"

She looked up, staring at him like he had three heads. "What…? No. Elliot! How can you even think that…?" She struggled to pull out of his arms, and sat up.

"I don't. Not really," he admitted. "But why are you so quiet tonight…? What's on your mind, Olivia…?"

She lay back down and rested her head on his chest, and he pulled her close. "I'm thinking about you being away next week… I'm gonna miss you, El," she whispered, a hitch in her voice. "I'm trying to not be a baby about it—but I hate that we're gonna be apart so long." Elliot kissed her forehead, a smile forming on his lips. "I know we've only been together three weeks, but I like having you here: I love coming home to you at night; I love having you in my bed; I love how you hold me and make love to me; I love you, Elliot."

* * *

The weekend moments dragged when they weren't together, and flew when they were—and Monday arrived. Elliot needed to be at Quantico at 10:00 AM, so he'd left shortly before 4:00. It would've made more sense for him to have left right after taking Eli home to Kathy on Sunday evening, but neither of them could bear not having the last few hours together. They'd made love with a desperation reserved for people who were being forced apart for much longer than four or five days—but those few days loomed large. He'd told her he'd call her when he arrived, and would text her whenever possible—but he didn't expect to have a lot of free time. They agreed she wouldn't call him unless there was an emergency. And then they'd kissed good-bye.

* * *

**Four days later…**

He'd almost reached his destination and could hardly wait to take her in his arms. He was anticipating her surprise, since he wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow. He knew she'd be working late... She'd told him it made the time go faster and took her mind off missing him. The corridors were completely empty and a quiet had settled over them—so unlike the hustle and bustle that filled them eighteen out of twenty-four hours. He turned the corner, and suddenly Elliot froze in his tracks, not believing what his eyes were revealing. Olivia stood just outside the squad room door, wrapped in the arms of another man... and he was kissing her.

The white hot anger that raged through him caused him to stagger… He felt physically ill. He knew he couldn't take another step—he didn't trust himself to confront them. He lingered for a moment—just long enough to determine it was Bayard Ellis who was holding Olivia in his arms. He turned and left the building, the anger red-hot, now blinding him and pushing all other thoughts from his mind. He wouldn't remember later how he'd made it back to his car or the drive home after.

**TBC**

**Just a little to suspence to hold you 'til next week... Thank you for reading, and Chapter 10 will be up next weekend.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone. Here it is! Chapter 10…the final chapter of New Beginning. I've already started on the continuing sequel, Moving Forward. I want to write a few chapters ahead before I launch it, to be sure I'm able to keep up with my commitment to upload a new chapter each week. As I mentioned last week, Elliot will be with the Feebs, and Olivia may get to do an undercover assignment with them. There'll be plot… and all kinds of angst and twists and turns. Thank you once again to all my readers, and to my reviewers (you know who you are)… a very special thank you!**

_He'd almost reached his destination and could hardly wait to take her in his arms. He was anticipating her surprise, since he wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow. He knew she'd be working late... She'd told him it made the time go faster and took her mind off missing him. The corridors were completely empty and a quiet had settled over them—so unlike the hustle and bustle that filled them eighteen out of twenty-four hours. He turned the corner, and suddenly Elliot froze in his tracks, not believing what his eyes were revealing. Olivia stood just outside the squad room door wrapped in the arms of another man... and he was kissing her._

_The white hot anger that raged through him caused him to stagger… He felt physically ill. He knew he couldn't take another step—he didn't trust himself to confront them. He lingered for a moment—just long enough to determine it was Bayard Ellis who was holding Olivia in his arms. He turned and left the building, the anger red-hot, now blinding him and pushing all other thoughts from his mind. He wouldn't remember later how he'd made it back to his car or the drive home after._

**Chapter 10**

**One hour earlier...**

"Benson." Olivia spoke into her phone.

"Olivia..."

"Bayard?" She hesitated… surprised he was calling her this late. "What can I do for you...?"

"I need a file from your office, Olivia… Thought I'd check to see if you were still around—I know you sometimes put in some pretty late hours. Since you picked up the phone, I have my answer," he chuckled. Are you gonna be there for a few more minutes?"

"Sounds like you're burning the midnight oil too, Bay… I'll be here at least another forty-five minutes to an hour. Tell me what file you need and I'll pull it for you."

"That would be great. Let's see... Theresa Burns is the name."

"I know exactly where it is—I'll pull it right now… See you in a bit."

"Thanks, Olivia, I'll be there in a half hour or so..."

Olivia hung up the phone and stood up, making her way over to the cabinet that held the file Bayard had requested. She hadn't seen him in a while—not since the 'Pena' case had been resolved, and she was a little nervous about seeing him now: She was grateful to him for how graciously he'd handled the case, and how supportive and caring he'd been with her throughout the whole mess... She counted him as a good friend. She enjoyed his company and valued their friendship, but she'd felt a little awkward since he'd found out about her relationship with David Haden. She wondered if he knew it had ended... She assumed he did, since David had accepted the new position. She doubted that he knew about Elliot—unless he and David had talked… It was unlikely he'd have heard it from any other source, since so few people knew.

She'd suspected Bayard was attracted to her... Truth be told, she'd been attracted to him, and if he'd pushed the envelope a little and made some kind of a move before David Haden came on the scene, she thought about how different things might have turned out. She smiled to herself realizing how thankful she was things had turned out the way they had... She'd never been so completely happy in her life, and she knew Elliot was the reason. He satisfied her in every possible way.

She got a little lost in her thoughts of Elliot… She wasn't one to place any credence in 'fate' or things happening 'according to a plan' or a 'higher power,' but she had to admit some pretty amazing things had come into play that resulted in she and Elliot finally being together: If he hadn't stopped by her apartment the very night David ended their relationship, and found her crying in her hallway… or if she'd been with Bayard instead of David… Hell, if she hadn't had the flashback and realized how safe Elliot made her feel… It went on and on—but everything could have been very different right now.

Trying to pull her thoughts away from Elliot and back to the task at hand, she opened the drawer and quickly found the file Bayard had requested. Going back to her desk, she set it aside and settled in her chair to wrap up the paperwork on the latest case she and Nick had caught earlier in the week.

She'd finished all the other paperwork, and finally entered the last bit of information from her DD5… Shutting the computer off, she glanced at her watch. It'd been almost forty-five minutes since Bayard's call, and she hoped he'd get here soon… She was ready to call it a day—a very long day. She found herself smiling as she remembered Elliot would be coming home tomorrow… She'd missed him every bit as much as she'd suspected she would, and couldn't wait to see him; welcome him back to her bed. She reached down and opened her drawer, retrieving her purse—then gathered her phone and keys, and slipped her jacket on.

The week had dragged in spite of keeping herself as busy as possible; it helped that she was back to full duty and out in the field. She'd heard from Elliot a couple of times and things were going great: He knew he'd done well in most areas of testing, but didn't have any final scores, and no sense yet as to what his schedule would look like once everything was evaluated.

Olivia was pulled from her thoughts when she heard the squad room door opening and she walked over to greet Bayard. He came striding toward her, setting his brief case down, and surprising her when he gave her a hug. "Hello, Olivia… It's nice to see you—it's been too long." He smiled down at her. "You've had no cases to throw my way lately…?" he teased.

"After Omar Pena—I wasn't sure…"

He didn't allow her to finish. "Olivia. There were mitigating circumstances in that case… You know that. I said it before: You're a _good_ cop—and a good person," he added softly. "I will always welcome you—as a colleague—and a friend," he said with a smile. "Consultation on a case doesn't need to be the only reason to contact me, you know." He looked at her—one eyebrow raised—as though gauging her reaction to his statement.

"Uh, thank you, Bay." She smiled at him, moved by what he'd said—but a bit unsettled by the implications. "I have your file right here," she said, handing it to him.

"Thank you, Olivia." He took it from her and tucked it into a pocket on the side of his briefcase. "So—how are you?" He looked her up and down. "You're looking good," he said with a devilish grin—very un-Bayard-like. "I haven't seen you since…"

"…Omar Pena was released. I know," she finished for him, trying very hard to ignore the way he was looking at her: Was she actually being checked out by Bayard Ellis…? He was clearly flirting with her. She walked them toward the door, shutting a few lights off as they talked. "After it was over, I took some time off—_strongly_ recommended by my Captain," she said with a rueful grin.

"So that explains why I could never get you to answer your precinct phone in the evening.

"You could have called me on my cell, Bay," she pointed out, holding it up for emphasis as she prepared to tuck it into her pocket. He pushed the door open and they walked through, standing just outside it.

"I didn't want to bother you if you weren't at work, Olivia… I wasn't sure what was going on for you…" He hesitated for a moment, waiting to catch her eye. "I know you and Haden broke it off…" he admitted.

Olivia lowered her eyes. "Yeah—we did. He wanted to take the new position…"

"It wasn't your idea to end it…?"

She kept her eyes lowered. "It's complicated, Bay. It was mutual… I wouldn't have let him pass up the job, anyway. And then…"

"Olivia, I'm sorry. It's none of my business, and I shouldn't have asked… I was just concerned about you." He watched her, silently entreating her to look up at him. When she raised her eyes to his, he smiled. "You deserve so much better than that, Olivia… Any man who would take a job and pass up the opportunity to be with you is a fool." He set his briefcase on the floor and stepped closer to her.

"Bay…?"

"You're a beautiful and amazing woman, Olivia Benson," he whispered.

"Bay… I'm…"

He continued talking. "I've thought about this ever since that moment on the court house steps—when you told me having me as my daughter's softball coach 'must be hell on the umpire.' You're feisty, Olivia. I like that… You're not intimidated by me—a lot of people are, you know." He grinned down at her, looking into her beautiful brown eyes. Before she could respond—or even think—he pulled her into his arms and wrapped himself around her, lowering his lips to hers. He kissed her—gently at first… But then with a passion that shocked her—she was too stunned to move.

Bayard pulled away, looking down at her—studying her face for a reaction. She froze: She knew he'd been flirting, but this was totally unexpected. She stood immobilized—looking up at him. She finally managed to stutter: "B-Bay… I didn't…"

"I'm not gonna say I'm sorry, Olivia—'cause I'm not. I should have made a move… months ago—before Haden ever entered the picture. I know this isn't the time—it's too soon—and for that I _am _sorry. But I wanted—_needed_ you to know where I stand." He released her and bent down to pick up his brief case. When he straightened, he looked into her eyes once more.

"Bayard, I…"

"No..." He touched a finger to her lips. "…don't say anything right now. I—you needed to know what my intentions are. Goodnight, Olivia… Call me—when you're ready."

"But…"

He turned around and walked away, not once looking back.

Olivia attempted to pull herself together before leaving the precinct. She was having a difficult time processing what had just happened: She didn't know how to feel… She clearly knew this had no bearing on her feelings for Elliot… And she didn't have any feelings for Bayard, beyond friendship—but it was a friendship she valued. She couldn't bring herself to be angry with him: Bayard was a first-class gentleman. She admired and respected him… And he'd been a good friend to her. He would never have pulled what he did tonight if he'd known she was happily involved with another man. And since it'd only been three weeks since she'd ended things with David, he'd have no reason to expect she'd be involved in a serious relationship already.

What the hell was going on with her: Elliot was right… Men were coming out of the fucking woodwork! She'd _never_ had this many men interested in her at one time; Hell…not in the last ten years—not men who were viable relationship material. Now that she was finally happy and no longer sexually frustrated, was she giving off some signal that made her more attractive to the opposite sex…? Was it because she no longer presented as 'needy' or 'desperate…?' Or was she suddenly producing more pheromones…? Whatever it was, it was a goddamned pain in the ass… Now there was one more man—another man she cared about and considered a friend—she'd feel guilty about. God, she just wanted to see Elliot.

* * *

Olivia dragged her weary body up the last flight of stairs to her apartment. She'd foregone the elevator, wanting the opportunity to move her body, even though she was tired after her long day. Her meeting with Bayard had left her unnerved and brooding. She wished she'd had her wits about her enough to have explained that she was with Elliot. Now she'd have to get in touch with him and let him know there was no possibility for a romantic relationship between them—he deserved to know. How she wished Elliot was home… On the other hand she'd have to explain it all to him—there was no way she'd keep it from him—but the thought of dealing with his jealousy tonight was overwhelming; So it was just as well he wasn't here. She suspected, however, she'd not be getting much sleep.

Had she not been so pre-occupied, she may have noticed Elliot's car sitting across the street when she'd come home. As it was, she was totally unprepared for the scene that greeted her when she let herself into her apartment.

The moment she opened her door she knew something was off… She reached for her gun and stepped inside, dropping her purse, and quietly closing the door. The entryway table was upside down—its contents spilled and broken—pieces strewn all around it. There was a hole in the wall just above where the table had stood. She moved further into the apartment and noted lights were on everywhere—including her bedroom. There was a half-empty bottle of bourbon on the kitchen counter—and a broken glass on the floor in front of it. What the hell…?

She slowly crept toward her bedroom, her gun drawn. She could hear drawers being pulled opened and slammed closed again. She edged closer to the bedroom door. She could just barely see inside, but caught motion out of the corner of her eye, realizing it was the reflection of someone in the floor-length mirror that was attached to her closet door… And then she gasped as she realized it was Elliot!

She holstered her gun and moved into the room. Bureau drawers were open and clothes were strewn around the room. A duffle bag lay open and half-full on the bed, and Elliot was stuffing more clothes—his clothes—into it… Clothes he'd just moved into her apartment the previous weekend. The look on his face was formidable.

Her heart in her throat, Olivia walked further into the room. "Elliot… What's going on…?" When did you get home…?"

He made a derisive sound and refused to look at her. "Does it matter…?"

"Elliot… What's wrong...? Did something happen at Quantico…?" She noticed then that his knuckles were raw and bleeding, and she stepped closer, reaching out to him.

He raised his eyes to her and gave her a look of such contempt, she felt as though she'd been punched. "Don't. Don't you dare come near me..." he spat, his voice dripping venom.

Olivia felt her knees buckle and she reached a hand out to the bureau to steady herself. Her eyes filled with tears, as the pain of his words slammed into her chest. "Elliot," she managed to gasp around the lump in her throat. "What's going on…? What did I do…?"

"Don't you stand there and play the innocent victim with me," he hissed, as he grabbed the duffle-bag from the bed and stormed from the room. As he brushed by her, she could smell booze on him, and noted his bloodshot eyes.

She followed him. "Elliot… Where are you going…? You're in no condition to drive." She was crying now, tears streaming down her face. "Please, Elliot—please… Tell me what's wrong."

Elliot dropped the bag and stalked over to her, backing her against the wall with his body. "Think about it, Olivia… What could you _possibly_ have done that would make me punch a hole in your wall…?" He was shouting now.

She was alarmed, but she wasn't afraid… She knew he'd never hurt her. She raised her own voice, frustrated and angry that he was behaving like this and she had no idea why. "Goddammit, Elliot. Please… I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't _done_ anything…"

"You couldn't wait one more night for me to come home, Olivia…?" Or did you just want something strange…?" he sneered.

"Oh my god… Bayard. You saw me with Bayard!"

He moved closer, his body trapping her against the wall and he pushed his face close to hers. The hurt and pain in his eyes would have dropped her to her knees if he hadn't been holding her up with his body.

"Elliot," she whispered, her voice betraying her distress. "Please, Elliot… It's not what you think."

He laughed—a horrible strangling sob—before taunting her. "Was it good, Olivia…? How do we compare…?"

"Elliot, please," she begged. "Please let me explain."

And then his hands were on her… He fisted them in her hair and pulled her head back—leaning in to punish her mouth with his own. But something in her eyes made him stop. He dropped his hands to her shoulders and looked at her, a ragged sob escaping from his chest—his eyes begging for there to be an explanation for what he'd witnessed.

Olivia's heart broke at the devastation she saw there, knowing—although innocently—she had caused it. She tentatively reached up to touch his face and he leaned into her hand. Her voice was broken. "Elliot, I love you… What you saw—it's not what you think, El. You _know _me better than that—you know how much I love you… How could I have made love to you the way I have in these last few weeks, and be with another man…?" She hesitated. "He kissed me…"

She felt his body tense and the look in his eyes was deadly. He tried to turn away, but she wouldn't let him… She moved her other hand up and held his face, turning it back toward her own. "I _love_ you_," _she repeated. "_He _kissed _me_, Elliot. I didn't know he was going to—I was shocked—I didn't expect it… But I _didn't_ kiss _him_. It couldn't have lasted 20 seconds, Elliot. I was going to tell you… I would never have kept it from you."

He knew she was telling the truth. And in knowing that, he knew how much he'd hurt her with his words and his actions—hurt them both; All the time he'd spent in therapy—all the progress he'd made—blown in a few moments of unbridled anger.

Olivia could see by his expression what he was thinking. She cradled his face in her hands. "Elliot, its okay… You reacted to what you saw: If I'd found you kissing another woman, I would have lost it, too. El, please… We have to work through this. We've come too far and worked too hard."

"How can you forgive me, Liv…?" he asked, his voice choked with raw emotion. "Look what I did to your apartment… and I was gonna _leave_ you, baby," he admitted brokenly.

She buried her face in his chest, as a sob escaped, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. She looked up at him, her voice barely a whisper. "I know, Elliot… And I think I would have died."

And then realization dawned: She wasn't going to hold this against him—she wasn't angry with him. This beautiful, incredible woman knew him and understood him—better than he did himself… And she still loved him: She could handle his moods and an occasional lapse in judgment—a backslidden moment… But she couldn't handle losing him.

He tentatively lowered his lips to hers… then kissed her tenderly—new appreciation for her coursing through him. "I love you so much, Olivia," he whispered, his forehead touching hers as he gazed into her eyes. "I swear to you, I will never doubt you again… No matter what I think I've seen, I'll allow you to explain it to me, before I go off the deep end. I am so sorry, baby."

"Elliot, it was my fault, too… I should have realized what was going on with Bayard—and stopped it. But I didn't expect it, El… I was just so stunned." She looked at him, her eyes pleading for him to understand.

He held her close and buried his face in her hair. "If it was anyone but you—that would be hard to believe." He gazed at her, forgiveness in his eyes. "You're clueless about this shit, Olivia." His eyes grew serious—his voice low. "But I can't stand the thought of losing you. That's why I get so jealous, Liv… You're all I ever want or need—you're a part of me now."

For the first time since stepping through her door, the ghost of a smile flitted across her face. "Take me to bed, El," she whispered. "Please—we'll take care of the mess tomorrow… I need to be in your arms tonight."

* * *

"Elliot, oh god, so close, El," she whimpered. Elliot moved over her—and in her, holding himself up with one arm, as he worked her clit with his other hand.

"Look at me, baby," he demanded—he himself so close to the edge he could barely form words. "She opened her eyes, her gaze scorching him and he felt his control slip a little more. "Jesus, baby… God, Liv—so fuckin' beautiful," he grunted, as he ploughed into her again, making her cry out—his name falling from her lips in a never-ending litany. He lowered his lips to hers, as though to catch them… And then he felt her tighten around him as she came, her body contorting, and her head thrashing… He pushed hard one more time—through the silken walls that held his cock in a vise—moving with her, not wanting to lose claim to her mouth. He absorbed her scream—and his own, as his orgasm ripped through him, and he emptied himself into her—his body shuddering with the strength of his release.

He collapsed, propping himself just enough to keep from hurting her—not wanting to relinquish her body, or give up possession of her sweet mouth. Her cries turned to whimpers, as he tenderly kissed her. He surrendered her lips, only when oxygen became necessary. He reached to caress her face and discovered her tears, as the sob she was trying to suppress tore through her—the intensity of their love-making and the emotional trauma of their evening, finally overtaking.

He gently rolled off her, pulling her into his arms. "Oh, baby… Please don't cry, Liv…"

"Elliot…?" she sobbed in a heart-broken whisper. "I love you. I don't want anyone else—please promise you won't leave me… After what we've shared these last few weeks—I wouldn't survive it, El."

"My god, baby… I want to be with you forever, Olivia. I'm so sorry about tonight… When I saw you—with him, I thought I'd lost you; I was leaving because I didn't think you wanted to be with me, Liv. I was out of my mind with grief, baby… I don't even remember how I got here."

She wrapped her arms more tightly around him, her head resting on his chest. She lay quietly for a while before raising her head to speak, her voice tremulous. "Elliot… Look at me." He silently did her bidding, focusing on her brown eyes. "I'm not going anywhere—this is where I want to be—it's where I belong… That's _not_ gonna change. You know me, El… It took a long time for me to get here, but now that I am, I'm here—forever. Everything I've ever wanted is right here in my arms, Elliot." She laid her head back on his chest. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger. "We've got to start trusting each other with our hearts."

* * *

When he woke, the sun was streaming in the window, causing him to squint as he searched for the bedside clock. It was nearly 9:00… Shit, Olivia would have already left for work. He groaned… the cotton in his mouth and the pain in his head reminding him he'd had a little too much to drink last night—although it could have been worse; for a hangover, this one was tolerable. He lay back down, resting his arm across his eyes.

"Hey… You finally awake…?" Her voice was so soft, he wasn't really sure he'd heard her. He opened his eyes, raising himself on the backs of his elbows—a smile lighting up his face as she handed him a cup of coffee and perched on the side of the bed.

"Aren't you gonna be late for work, detective…?" he asked as he reached to gratefully take the cup she offered him, his voice still gravelly with sleep.

"I called in… I'm taking the day off."

His look of surprised delight soon turned to a lecherous grin. "In that case, come back to bed, baby," he rasped, throwing the covers back.

"Oh, no… You have work to do," she smirked, pulling the covers down further, and away from his grasp. It's time to get up, sleepyhead. You've got a trip to make to the hardware store."

He scrubbed a hand down over his face. "That really happened didn't it…?" he groaned, glancing up at her sheepishly.

"Oh yeah… That really happened—still got the hole in the wall to prove it. How's your head…?" she asked with a knowing grin.

"I'll live. My fist could use some attention though, Nurse Benson." He held it up, looking at her pathetically. She rolled her eyes and walked into the bathroom, returning a few minutes later with everything she'd need to remedy the problem. "Hey, no peroxide…! You know I hate that shit… It stings," he whined.

"Really, Stabler...?" she scoffed. "You can put your fist through my wall, but you can't handle a little peroxide…? Give me your hand," she ordered, sitting down on the bed beside him. He reluctantly extended his hand to her, and she placed a towel beneath it, as she prepared to pour the peroxide over the broken skin on his knuckles. She started to pour, and he flinched, gasping as he pulled his hand away, causing the liquid to spill onto the towel. "When did you become such a big baby...?" She reached over and grabbed his hand, turning it palm down and holding it tight as she poured again.

He hissed, and she released him, turning her attention to preparing the gauze, while he shook his hand, trying to lessen the sting. "Jesus, Benson, that fuckin' hurts… What happened to your bedside manner…?" he demanded, looking at her reproachfully.

She raised an eyebrow. "Let's see how well you repair my wall, and maybe my bedside manner will improve."

* * *

Repair to the wall proved to be an exercise in frustration: Three trips to the hardware store; a barrage of colorfully evocative foul language, worthy of any sailor; and infinite patience on Elliot's part—and the wall was good as new. He placed the last of his tools in his toolbox and set it by the door.

Olivia was standing at the sink washing the paintbrush, still muttering expletives. Elliot walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, chuckling as he buried his face in her neck. "I can't believe you kiss me with that mouth, baby… I'm having flashbacks to my days in the barracks, when I was in the marines. I gotta say, you have a filthy imagination, Benson," he growled, nipping at her neck.

"That is only unleashed when I'm forced to participate in aggravating, frustrating, mind-numbingly monotonous activities," she ground out through gritted teeth. "And for the record—I don't ever want to play 'carpenter's helper' again… So if you could refrain from punching holes in my walls…"

Elliot turned her around so fast the paint brush flew from her hand and clattered into the sink. He crashed his lips to hers, groaning into her mouth. When he pulled away, he gave her a cocky grin, and she smacked him on the shoulder. "What the hell…? I swear, Stabler—you're this close…"

He pulled her back for another scorching kiss, this time eliciting a groan from her. When their lips parted, he smirked down at her. "What can I say, Benson…? You're adorable when you're pissy… Oh—and kissing you is the most effective way to shut you up." He reached up and tapped her nose, shaking his head and grinning. "And you've got paint on your nose, baby. Adorable..."

* * *

By the time the project was completed, clean up was done, order was restored, and a co-ed shower was taken—it was time for dinner. Olivia plopped down on the couch and picked up her cell phone from the coffee table—her frame of mind much improved since the 'shower-with-benefits' she'd shared with Elliot. "I'm ordering Chinese—you want some…?"

"I'll fix us something, baby—you don't have to order out…"

She looked over at him, quirking an eyebrow. "I'm not cleaning up one more thing tonight, Stabler… But thanks for offering. Now what do you want…?"

He came over and dropped down beside her on the couch. "In that case… the usual."

She placed the order, and tossed the phone back on the table. She looked over at him and reached for his hand, a gentle smile on her face. "Thanks for fixin' my wall," she said softly. "Sorry I was so bitchy."

He grinned at her. "I can handle 'Bitchy Benson…' he quipped, giving her a knowing leer. "Besides, I put the hole in it… I _should_ fix it."

She moved closer and snuggled into his side. "Tell me about your week, El… We haven't even talked about it yet."

A smile lit up his face, belying his enthusiasm for the subject. "It went really great, Liv… I'll need to spend even less training time than I expected. I completed a series of graded tests—both written and physical—usually given at the end of each course of curriculum. The scores determined what areas I'm weak in, or have never had any experience in at all. I'll need some brush-up in all four major concentrations… and some curriculum is new to me, so I'll need to complete them in full."

"What are they, El?"

"Let's see… For Academics, I'll only have to brush-up on 'Fundamentals of Law' and 'Ethics,' but I'll need to complete the full course in 'Advanced Intelligence Techniques.'"

Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder, and looked up at him. "That makes sense… What else?"

"Umm… In Case Exercises I've gotta complete 'Capstone…' It's basically just exercises in terrorism and intelligence-driven scenarios, using culturally diverse role players."

"That sounds interesting… This is exciting, El," she said, smiling up at him.

"I did great in the first two areas of Firearms testing… I scored 90 and 95. But I've gotta learn to use the Bureau submachine gun and the Bureau carbine."

Olivia shuddered, trying not to think of a situation where he would need to use a machine gun of any kind. Elliot pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be okay, baby." She nodded, and he continued.

"Most of my training time will be spent in Operational Skills. There's a lot I've learned on-the-job, but the FBI is more sophisticated than the NYPD—especially electronically. I learned a fair amount when I was the liaison between the two, but there's so much more. I'll be taking a course in 'Electronic Surveillance,' and—what else?" He reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his wallet. "I've got it written down. Oh yeah, here it is: Operations Planning; Development and Dissemination of Intelligence; and Undercover Operation. Those are the weeks I'll only be home on weekends."

"Wow! In twenty weeks you'll be an FBI guy."

"Well… I don't start until a week from Monday, so, technically—twenty-one weeks.

"That means we have another week before you leave… I like that idea," she purred, nuzzling into him.

"We better take advantage of it, too… I'll be spending all my spare time studying after next week."

"That's a lot of knowledge you'll be storing away… You gonna need a 'study-buddy?'"

He smiled down at her. "You volunteering…?"

"Better me than some cute little FBI agent wanna-be," she snarked, giving him a look that left no question as to who his 'study-buddy' would be.

Before the subject could be pursued, the buzzer announced the arrival of their dinner.

* * *

In spite of the fact that Olivia had had three days off, Monday came too soon, and she still needed to broach the subject she'd been avoiding all weekend. "Hey, El…?"

"What's up, baby…?" He finished wrapping a towel around his waist, and moved up behind her, pulling her into his arms and burying his face in her neck.

She turned in his arms and he leaned in to kiss her, his minty toothpaste lingering on her lips. His skin was damp and smelled of soap, and she wished she was heading back to bed with this sexy hunk of manhood, instead of going to the precinct. She looked up at him. "El, please don't get pissed at me… I've gotta talk to Bayard today."

He immediately tensed up. Dropping his arms from around her, he turned and stalked away. "Elliot. I've got to tell him I'm already in a relationship—I'm not available. He's a good friend and he deserves to know… And I don't want to lose his friendship over this, Elliot."

He turned around, the look in his eyes anything but open-minded. "You mean to tell me this didn't come up the other night…?" he barked.

"Elliot—I told you: I was blind-sided—it happened so fast. As soon as he kissed me, he walked away… I never had a chance to tell him." She walked toward him now, fire in her eyes. "Elliot… Damn it! You either trust me or you don't. This man is my friend, and you don't get to dictate that part of my life. I'm not gonna start avoiding people and monitoring every move I make because you're a jealous asshole." She stood directly in front of him, demanding he look into her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

Elliot's face softened, and he reached for her hand. "Yeah... I trust you." He gave her a lop-sided grin. "Asshole, huh…?" She looked chagrinned and he pulled her to him. "This is just hard, baby." He wrapped his arms around her, gently swaying their bodies, looking down at her with a bit of a smirk. "This shit's gettin' old though… Next you'll be tellin' me Munch made a pass at you."

"Olivia smacked his arm and buried her face in his chest. "You're no tireder of it than I am," she sighed.

* * *

If the weekend had gone by quickly, Monday flew—a whirlwind of activity that started when Olivia hit the precinct at 7:30 in the morning and never stopped until after 8:00 that evening. It was late Tuesday afternoon before she had the opportunity to see Bayard. She'd decided to stop by his office… not wanting to do this over the telephone, or get his hopes up by making a date to see him. She knocked hesitantly on his door, dread knotting her stomach.

"Come in." He stood up as soon as he saw her and came around his desk—a smile on his face that could light up a room. "Olivia." He breathed her name like a prayer. "I was hoping you'd come." He reached to take her hand.

"Bay… I can't," she said softly. "I'm involved with someone… I tried to tell you…"

He dropped his hand and indicated Olivia should sit down, his eyes clouded with confusion.

"No, Olivia… You said you and Haden were through. I would never have approached you if I'd known you were still seeing each other…"

Olivia looked away. "It isn't David Haden, Bay." She turned back to face him. "It's… Elliot Stabler," she whispered, feeling awkward—the act of admitting their relationship to anyone so foreign to her.

"Your old partner," he stated. His voice was calm; neutral. He'd settled on the edge of his desk, and sat looking down at her. "When…?"

"He came to see me the night David ended things…"

"That was quick… Last I knew he hadn't contacted you since he'd left his position. Is this a rebound thing?"

Olivia felt like she was on the witness stand, being interrogated by Bayard Ellis. "No… Bay—nothing even close: We've been best friends for years." She lowered her eyes again, loathe to be revealing so much of her private life—but deciding he deserved to know—and he was nothing if not discreet. "There'd been an attraction between us… But he was married, and we'd always steered clear of it. It turns out he realized it was more than an attraction after he left… And he took the steps needed to pursue it. He finalized the divorce he and his wife had been dancing around for the past six years, and spent a lot of time in counseling—dealing with the fall-out of the shooting—and other stuff. He didn't want me to be a part of any of it… He was trying to protect me. I hadn't seen him or talked with him for ten months, Bayard."

"I'd say the man has impeccable timing." He gave her a smile that didn't hide the regret in his eyes. "And impeccable taste, I might add."

He stood up then, and approached her, reaching down to take her hand, helping her to her feet. He put his hands on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes. "I won't tell you this doesn't hurt, Olivia."

"I'm so sorry, Bayard." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she ducked her head—clearly struggling with something. "I don't know if this will make it harder or easier…" She raised her eyes to his again. "If you'd approached me before I met David—I wouldn't have said 'no,' Bay." She couldn't read his face… He wasn't a top-notch attorney for nothing.

He finally smiled into her eyes, and when he spoke his voice was husky. "I'd give that statement a fifty-fifty, Olivia. I'd like to think we can still be friends…?

"I'd like that too, Bay." She reached up and gently placed a kiss on his cheek before walking out of his office.

* * *

"Are you gonna make us wait 'til you get the 'seal of approval' from each of my kids, Liv…" 'Cause if that's what you're waitin' for, I can arrange for a family meeting." Olivia rolled her eyes and pulled further into her corner of the couch. "Look—you saw Kathleen last week—and she asked you why we waited so long. You know Maureen's on board… and Eli adores you. I know you haven't seen the twins yet… but Lizzy's more than okay with it, and so's Richard. Do they have to tell you in person…?"

"Yes. No. It's just moving so fast, El… It's barely been a month."

"Yes. It's been a month, Olivia… And in that time, how often have we been apart…? Only when I went to Quantico last week, and when I have Eli on the weekends. And we're both miserable the whole time. Next week I start my training, and I'll be gone for two to four days every week—plus the weekends—for twenty weeks… That's five months, Liv. I don't wanna be apart from you that much, baby."

"I don't either, Elliot…" she shouted, jumping up from the couch and pacing around the room. "But this is a big step for me—I haven't lived with anyone since college—not ever. What if…"

"What if _what_, Olivia…" Elliot was on his feet now, and the calm conversation he'd planned had clearly escalated to a shouting match. "What if we don't work…? Do you really have doubts about us?" 'Cause if you do…"

She swung around to face him, and he saw the tears on her cheeks. "No, El… I don't have any doubts about us." Her voice was a whisper now. "I love you. I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Elliot. It's just…"

He looked at the misery on her face, and finally understood what a big step this was for her. He pulled her into his arms. "Okay, baby… It's okay." He held her, tenderly placing kisses on her forehead. After a few minutes, he tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "How 'bout we do this… Let's do it a step at a time. We'll start with you spending weekends at my place—okay…?"

"Yeah… That I can do—without any further approval from your kids," she smiled tearfully up at him.

"Thank you, baby… I don't think I could have stood to be apart from you this weekend, and leave for Quantico on Monday."

"Yeah, me either…" she admitted, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head against his chest.

"And then, even after you move in, you keep your apartment—until you're completely comfortable with the arrangement. And when you're ready—you give it up—and we'll look for a place together." She didn't say anything. "Liv…? What do you say? That okay with you, baby…?"

"Yeah… That sounds good, El." She looked up at him, giving a tentative smile. "We're really gonna do this, aren't we…? We're really moving forward."

"Yeah, baby… We are." He bent his head to capture her lips, kissing her sweetly.

She pulled away before things got out of hand. "I'll go pack."

"Hey—you know it's only Friday night… right?"

"Yeah, I know that… But I'd rather break your bed in without Eli there." Leaning back in she left a blistering kiss on his lips. Then she pulled away and gave a sexy wink, before sauntering into her bedroom to pack.

The End (for now)

**Thank you for reading!**


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