Animaniacs 1. Chapter 1

AUTHORS NOTE: I'm trying something a little different here.

First off: If you do not read 'Family' this will make absolutely no sense. I'm putting out the warning now, do not bother to read this.

Second: If you do read 'Family', make sure you read Chapter 32 prior to reading this.

This takes place in the same universe; the same characters, rules, friendships, pairings, etc. all apply. It is simply a companion story - I wanted to write the boys camping but with the way I write I would add about ten chapters to the main story. If it goes well and gets good reviews I will probably continue to do companion pieces. If not…well, I'll probably still continue to do them.

While I certainly enjoy writing from the Warners perspective, I'm limited on what information I can reveal about the other characters since I can only write what the Warners themselves know. Thus bringing about the idea of a side story. This give me the opportunity to flesh out Montana, Buster, Bernie, Jeeves and some of the other characters without messing with the flow of 'Family'.

If nothing else, it amuses me and my friends. Plus, Montana Max is my favorite character.

This is mostly Yakko and Wakko. Dot in in the very beginning and will appear later at the end but she is definitely not the focus. This is not surprising since I don't like the character anyway. Please do not leave me reviews saying 'But I LOVE Dot and want to see one with her!'. It's very unfortunate, but I do not. At some point in the future I might do one with her - if I get really bored and this one goes over well.

This introduces the point of view of both Buster Bunny and Montana Max along with the Warners.

Thank both _LittleTiger488_ and _DancesWithCorpses_ for using their skills to read over this. Without them it would probably be unreadable.

Enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 1 - Big Doo's and Little Doo's

April 29, 1996

"But Dad - "

"Look in that box Buster," Bernie said, turning briefly to look at Buster before reaching up to absently straighten his glasses. Tugging down the front of his grey sweatshirt in a manner reminiscent of Captain Picard he added, "I know it's here, somewhere. And be careful, there's a lot of memories here."

Buster glared at his father's turned back, already feeling hostile as he stood, ankle deep in…memories…and stuff…in the attic. Who knew they had so many 'memories'? Didn't Dad ever throw anything away?

"What is all this junk?" he muttered to himself while digging in the closest box, looking for whatever the hell a 'camp stove' was.

Reaching in, Buster pulled out an oven mitt in the shape of a cat, a piece of blue ribbon, ear muffs, a chewed on pencil, stacks of paper…

Dad had to learn that sometimes, stuff just needed to be thrown away. Sometimes, stuff wasn't memories. Sometimes, stuff was just stuff.

Buster cut his eyes toward his father; he still had his back turned to him and was rummaging through the tall oak armoire in the corner of the attic. He could take a little break. He wouldn't even feel that guilty about it; it wasn't like he asked to come up there and help dig through the attic.

Quietly, he sat on the nearest box, a large cardboard square that had 'Bounty' printed on the side and wiped his head, feeling the sweat running down his skin and soaking his fur. Wiping his glove on his pants, he watched his father, a toon on a mission at the moment.

His father had gone insane. And he was trying to drag him along. And apparently everyone he knew while he was at it.

Buster honestly had no idea what had gotten into his father. He hadn't misbehaved - that Dad knew of - so there was no reason to punish him. Dad's punishments ranged from a spanking to an ear blistering lecture to cleaning the windows and not streaking them. One particularly memorable punishment had been to pick up all their shed fur in the carpet with tweezers...

Buster thanked his friends for that one…'Oh, Ralph's too fat to catch up…let's jack his ride!'

It was hard being the smart one sometimes. He did enjoy saying 'I told you so', even if most times he joined in with their shenanigans. More often, he helped plan them.

But this time, he hadn't done anything.

He hadn't stolen so much as a second glance at Babs yet here he was, in the hot musty attic on a perfectly nice day so it had to be a punishment of some sort.

The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, or so it had been when he looked out the window almost two hours ago. That had been when life had not taken a downward spiral. He had been in the living room happily playing his video game and not breathing in the stale air in the attic.

Dad had come into the living room, rolled his eyes at the fact that Buster was - again - playing a video game and snapped it off, annoying him. He had prepared for the inevitable lecture on going outside, calling his friends, doing anything else but sitting on the couch, not letting laziness overtake him now that he was no longer on a show.

Instead, his father had asked him to come up to the attic. When Buster declined, it had turned into an order...

Requests could be ignored. Orders could not.

Dad had wanted him to help find 'the gear'.

When Buster had asked what he was talking about, Dad had announced they were going…

Even two hours later, Buster shuddered at the memory.

Camping.

What the hell?

He had never been camping before in his life. Up until a few hours ago he had hardly been aware of what the word meant. He had barely known that Dad owned a tent, let alone a 'camp stove' or 'sleeping bags'.

He had seen 'A Goofy Movie' and the countless other shows, movies and sitcoms of the father or some such parental figure wishing to strengthen his ties with a soon to be teenager and dragging the reluctant putz off for some bonding in the wilderness.

He had never thought he'd be the putz.

The shows or movies always ended with some sappy 'all's right with the relationship' moment, with tons of hugs and kisses and promises to always love one another because they were family and yada yada yada.

He loved his father, he respected him more than anyone he'd ever met, more even than his godfather. Dad knew that and he was well aware that his father loved him too. He didn't need to drag him out to the woods to prove it.

To add insult to this injury, Dad said it was going to be some sort of gigantic male bonding thing. So, not only had his father lost his mind, it was apparently catching. He had actually asked his father to repeat himself before laughing out loud.

If he was astonished at the entire idea of himself crawling around in the woods, the idea of Monty and Plucky there delighted him. He couldn't wait to see that; it'd almost be worth the entire hellish experience to witness.

And Max was bringing his butler - that was priceless... Buster had a mental image of Jeeves outside in his formal attire - that he had seen him wear exactly three times in all the years he had known Max - asking if the brat would like an extra sherbet to freshen his palette before dining on hotdogs and almost broke out into uproarious laughter.

He was judging his friend poorly; Max wasn't quite that bad. Luckily, the snobbery the Max family was famous for hadn't completely rubbed off on Monty, but he was still an extremely spoiled boy. He wished he could call him now, just to hear the variety of swear words Monty would no doubt use to describe this newest situation in his life. He was relatively certain a rousing game of 'blame the bunny' was in the works though. Monty loved to blame him, even if he had totally advised against something and they went ahead and did it anyway.

He honestly was surprised that Monty was going; this wasn't exactly something he was having an easy time picturing. Buster had at first assumed it was to be some sort of vain attempt at 'father-son' bonding and they would actually get to see Mr. Max in person instead of in the society section of some paper.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Max was not going. He was hobnobbing around Europe or something. This was the butler's doing.

Not surprising - it was always the butler.

Every now and then, Buster was almost jealous of Monty. At first he thought Monty answered to no one; he frequently got away with murder and usually if he asked for something, he got it within a day. Come to find out his butler was a lot more involved in his life than he ever let on. He might get away with more than most - more than anyone Buster had ever met - but when he finally crossed the line Jeeves came down hard.

And if he was confused about Monty, Plucky was just as much an enigma. The duck's father was also alive and well, still spouting off his racist thoughts at the dinner table, his mother joining in with her own thoughts. Plucky had been more closed about them though; perhaps the thoughts weren't as catching as he first had worried.

The day Plucky had spouted off about Mary in the music room Buster had been shocked. Not so much what he said - he had been to the Duck house plenty of times and had heard murmurings. Plucky had never repeated any of them.

No, what had surprised him most was that Plucky had even said them. He really credited the duck with more intelligence than that.

He shook his head, remembering when he dragged the duck out of the music room before Wakko accidentally let go of Max and the other boy killed him.

Plucky had been beside himself once he was outside, still blabbering off about Mary while in-between ranting that Max had actually hit him. Buster had to finally threaten to mallet him to get him to be quiet long enough to get a word in edgewise.

When he finally did, he discovered what he and Wakko had suspected anyway; Plucky was simply jealous that Mary had been getting what had used to be Max's undivided attention. When Buster pointed out that he might have pissed Max off enough the other boy wouldn't want to even talk to him anymore the duck had finally shut up long enough to listen to him.

He pointed out that he'd have a hard time staying friends with him after the comments, especially if he meant them. After all, Wakko was black...furred anyway - did that matter? No one held it against Plucky that he was a green duck and that was odd even in a town full of toons.

How about Yakko? Up until this spiel Plucky had never had a problem with the older boy. Hell, they all mostly watched him when he wasn't looking just to figure out what he was doing so they could do it too. And all the Warners used to be destitute; were they simply better now because they had money? Would they not be up to his level if they didn't have a show?

Not to mention Daffy – his idol – was covered in black feathers. Did that matter?

After that, Buster had been afraid the duck would start crying. Plucky, for all his big mouth and ego was probably the most sensitive of all of them. He could be a jerk at times, but he wasn't really evil.

Happily, Wakko had defused Max enough the boys had talked later. It had been tense for awhile but it had slowly died away. He sincerely hoped he never pissed Wakko off that much, or that Wakko never pissed him off that much either.

Wakko came close sometimes though.

It was hard being the smartest of the group. The unofficial leader - he knew that was how everyone looked at him. He didn't want the title; the last time he checked, his name wasn't 'Leonardo' and he sure as hell didn't have a shell on his back.

He usually got his advice about what to do from his father. Dad had a refreshing habit of trying to see everyone's point of view and usually tried to have him do the same.

But, in certain situations he said wrong was wrong, no matter what the reason behind it was.

Case in point; Plucky. He said that Plucky was at a crossroads and would begin to have to make a decision... Either he would take after his parents or he would begin to form his own thoughts about what they said and go from there. No one could decide what to do but Plucky.

Dad said the only thing they could do was hope that Plucky chose the right path, but he said there was nothing wrong with showing Plucky what the right path was. Plucky respected Max a great deal more than he would ever let on; Buster prayed that Monty's influence would have a positive influence on the duck's thinking.

He had no wish to end his friendship with Plucky, but he could see it being difficult to maintain if he stuck to his family's narrow-minded thinking pattern. Plucky seemed to be trying anyway, even grudgingly agreeing to sit next to Mary when she was eating with Max one day at the mall. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

Plucky was an attention whore but underneath his feathers there was a good heart.

And a couch potato. Buster could only imagine what Plucky would be like on a three day trip into the woods. The duck would probably shoot himself if he didn't have access to one hundred and twenty premium channels, a never ending bowl of popcorn and at least one game control. For everyone's sanity Buster hoped Plucky remembered his medicine. He did not want to see the duck off his medicine in the middle of a forest...

Buster sighed again, watching his father begin to dig in some boxes, wondering why he was doing this to him - any of them - but especially him.

Somehow his father had gotten the idea, spoken to Foghorn who, true to form was ecstatic about it. Dad had also said Bugs would be going, which only made Buster wonder if his godfather had lost a dare. He bet Bugs would rent some expensive RV to tool around in.

His godfather was many things; a 'true outdoorsman' was not one of them.

Daffy was coming along, probably as comic relief from what Buster could see. He liked Daffy, but again, he didn't see him being a real nature's man. And to top off the entire deal, Yakko and Wakko had been suckered into coming. Yakko should provide plenty of one liners and jokes to keep things halfway entertaining.

Wakko being there would make the entire ordeal bearable.

Dot, that lucky little snot, seemed to have gotten off Scot-free and had escaped the bonding ritual.

Damn girls.

It was going to be the camping trip from hell. None of them would survive this.

Buster sighed, wishing he had known what this day was going to be like. He would have stayed in bed. Or hidden. Or called Wakko.

Or Babs…

He shook his head, half annoyed with himself. Much like Wakko admitting to him hesitantly that he thought about Elmyra more than he had any desire too, Buster had found himself thinking about his pink former costar lately. Unlike Wakko though, he didn't find it all that upsetting and neither did Babs apparently.

He'd call her sometimes, under the pretext of asking advice on a video game or needing help with an assignment. Most times he didn't need it; his grades were above average and he could easily call Plucky for anything video game related.

The duck's hands were normally glued to a video game controller. Between him and Monty they had pretty much beaten anything Sega had released.

But he'd call Babs, and she'd giggle and coo in her sweet way at him, making him feel like her day was perfectly complete now that he had phoned. And she'd do these impressions of the others that made him laugh at how ridiculous his friends were sometimes before telling him no matter how insane they all acted, he was the brains and the most talented and handsomest of them. She even said she liked his gravely voice and longed for the day he would stop being so hesitant about it and would actually sing a song for her instead of passing it off to Wakko.

Wakko had a better voice, everyone would admit that. But she said Buster's voice had a charm all its own and was what she thought about when she fell asleep at night.

That always made him feel better, no matter how much it sounded like she pulled the line from some chick flick.

He had never been jealous of Wakko; after having fought with the boy for the first fifteen minutes of meeting him, they had been best friends ever since. Buster always considered himself fairly good looking; the constant fan letters he had rolling into the studio told him that much. He knew he was intelligent. He was certainly talented. Wakko had told him once he practically radiated self confidence.

Internally though he struggled. Especially if he saw Babs talking to Wakko.

From what he could tell about girls and what they liked, Wakko wasn't exactly hurting in the looks department either. And Buster figured he was right; Wakko had started to get more and more of them talking to him, something he didn't seem to care for much still.

Plus Wakko was talented in his own way. Smart, popular, a natural musician, easygoing personality…

Wakko had never looked at Babs twice, something that Buster was thankful for. He wasn't sure if he could or would compete with his friend. He wasn't sure if he would win.

Wakko talked to her sure - most of the boys did. Babs was this weird, wonderful wacky combination of all girl - pretty, feminine, charming - but with enough tomboy in her to give Gosalyn a run for her money. He didn't know any other girl that would join in a pie fight as quick as her, or volunteer to play in the outfield, even if it was still muddy from a recent rainstorm. Even Elmyra, who was a little tomboyish herself had refused to play out there.

Luckily Wakko had eyes for Elmyra. Everyone knew that, even if Wakko was still bashful about admitting it and would typically deny it if anyone said anything.

Buster wasn't that surprised about it - he wasn't trying to feel superior to his friend but he was a year and a month older. Sometimes that meant a lot. A year ago he would never had admitted to liking Babs as much as he did, even if he kind of did like her then. When she wasn't looking he'd watch her, or if they were standing in line he'd push the others out of the way so he could stand beside her, or accidentally brush her hand and laugh it off as an accident.

Maybe, one day he'd kiss her. He had thought about it, once, when they had all been playing on the lot. She had sprained her ankle and he was helping her limp back to the infirmary and she had her arm around his shoulder while making soft mewling sounds. And he appreciated her trying to hold back her tears; he knew it probably had hurt. He had seen her slender ankle starting to swell almost as soon as she fell.

He had tried to carry her and had only managed to make himself look like an idiot when he couldn't lift her. Even while the others laughed at him and Wakko volunteered to grab her arms and Buster could just grab her legs, Buster had stopped him. He could help her by himself.

And he had, and while she limped along with her head on his shoulder he had almost leaned over and kissed her, if only to cheer her up some but had stopped himself. He would rather she remember him kissing her; if her mind was half clogged in pain she probably wouldn't. And it wouldn't be very nice, trying to kiss her while she was incapable of kicking him if she didn't want to be kissed.

Not that she had ever acted that way; he thought she was going to kiss him a few ti -

"Get off that box!"

Startled, Buster started to jump up, thinking that something horrible and monstrous was coming up from the flaps. Before he could fully stand his father had bodily picked him up from it and was clutching him to his chest. Buster looked up at his normally sane father before looking down at the box again as with a shaky sigh Bernie lowered him back to the floor.

"Something wrong Dad?"

_Besides the fact that you want to take me…camping._

"Nothing, nothing," Bernie said, waving him off and kneeling beside the box. "Just important…"

Buster watched his father trail off and frowned.

Dad was a writer, not an occupation that was normally at a loss for words. He watched as his father knelt down, running his hand over the box with a small smile.

Tapping his foot, Buster waited for him to do one of three things. Open the box, get on with looking for 'the gear' or - best of all - tell him they were done. Maybe he would even announce that he had regained his lost sanity and Buster could go back downstairs to the air conditioning and do whatever he pleased.

He prayed for number three.

Instead, Dad sat fully on the floor, crossing his long legs in front on him before looking up at Buster, who continued to look down at him in annoyance.

"I forgot some of this stuff was up here," he said. "Well, I knew, but…never mind," Bernie said, smiling and patting the floor beside him.

Buster raised an eyebrow but finally sighed and sat beside him on the dirty floor, glad he wasn't wearing a pair of pants he actually liked. Other than Dad snapping at him earlier for not wanting to come up to the attic to look for 'the gear' his father had been in a good mood.

Best not to jinx it. Besides, whatever was in the box was important to his father; it might be interesting.

Scooting closer he leaned up on his knees and asked, "What's up Dad? Find a missing manuscript?"

Dad had a billion of those things. That was another puzzler for Buster; his father was a writer. What was with the sudden desire for adventure in the great outdoors? He tended to sit in his study and just steadily type at his computer as his hands wrote out jokes and plots for several shows. If Dad was in the study Buster was welcome; he remembered being younger and sitting on his father's lap as he typed out those first early scripts for 'Tiny Toons' or just tinkered around with his own book ideas.

Dad never wrote any scripts for him; he said he wouldn't feel right about it.

Luckily 'Tiny Toons' had such a large cast there was any number of other scripts he could be working on. When 'Animaniacs' had come into being he had moved over to that show, finally earning the title 'head writer' that Buster thought he deserved years prior.

Sometimes Buster missed those days, when he was small enough to sit in his lap and just be close to him while he worked. His recent growth spurt wasn't enough that he still couldn't do it but he would feel awkward. Besides, he was going to be thirteen soon. That was way too old to be perching in his father's lap.

He had his own memories of it though; that was enough he supposed. He still sort of missed it, now and then.

"Look at this," Bernie said quietly, interrupting Buster's musings.

Buster wrinkled his lip as he looked at it. That thing was old; a stupid picture he had drawn for his father when he was maybe four or five. The two of them in his study, nothing more than stick figures with long blue crayon marks for their ears. There was another stick figure outside the crudely drawn square that was supposed to be a window.

"You kept this?" He asked, almost stunned. "Why?"

He had thought the picture had depressed his father when he had drawn it; he could have sworn his father had thrown it out. When he had given it to him, he had just been told - in baby talk - that his mother was dead. She would not be coming back but he was going to be taken care of and safe no matter what and that Dad was just going to be sad for a little while.

Buster tumbled back into his own memories, remembering that. Bugs had explained it - again in baby talk - but Buster had always respected both his father and his god father for not lying to him and saying she 'went away' or 'went to sleep'. Just because he was young didn't mean he was stupid or couldn't grieve; he understood perfectly well that something was missing in his life and that his father was hurting. He remembered not really understanding why she wasn't coming back and he remembered sobbing in their laps, confused about why his mother had left him.

At some point he had stopped crying and sat down to draw something to make his father feel better. When he had handed the picture to his still grieving father Bernie had started crying again, harder, and just held him while he sat at his desk.

He didn't remember much after that; he just remembered that at the time all he knew was he made his father cry which had made him cry. Other than a few times right around then, Buster couldn't remember seeing him ever cry.

"Of course I kept it," Bernie snorted. "I took great comfort in this when you drew it; if nothing else I knew you'd remember her, even a little. And just so you know mister, I kept everything you did. That's half of what's in this box."

Buster cringed; he could only imagine.

Leaning inside to look he almost hid his face in embarrassment. Dad wasn't lying, he kept everything. Every stupid drawing, every dumb story and poem he tried to write, pictures from photo shoots and magazine articles…

Maybe Dad wasn't all rabbit; maybe he had ferret or rat or some other hoarding animal in him. Dad was the living personification of the term 'pack rat'.

"Dad - just put that stuff away," Buster said, desperate. "Look, tell me what a camp stove looks like. I'll find it! I'll build one if I have to! Just don't pull that stuff out and - "

"Look Buster - the figure you made of me in clay!" Bernie said, proudly holding up what Buster had previously thought was a rock. "And the paper you wrote about me!"

Buster squirmed, remembering that paper he had to write for Flemeil. 'Your Ideal Role Model'. He had chosen his father and caught hell from Flemeil, who had wanted him to choose someone famous from history. Luckily Dad had gone down - with some assistance from Bugs and Yosemite - to get his failing grade changed to a passing.

Bitter old prune. He was glad he'd never have to see her again.

"And look - "

"Do I have to?" Buster moaned quietly. He had seen what his father grabbed.

"Your first ear warmers! We had them bronzed."

Buster rolled his eyes. Other kids had their first pair of shoes bronzed - well, except Max; no doubt his parents had the silver spoon he was born with gold plated. But rabbits didn't wear shoes; rabbit toons had ear warmers bronzed.

"Exciting Dad…can I - "

"Oh look, a photo album! One of your early ones."

"If there's a picture of me naked on a bear skin rug I'm leaving," Buster muttered, but he still scooted closer anyway, curious despite his feeling of dread about what may be in there.

Bernie, looking excited, began to flip through and Buster watched him as his face began to change expressions; from excitement, to longing, back to happiness, regret…

Buster moved even closer, putting his head under his father's arm to see better. This was prior to his days on the set of 'Tiny Toons' and he was always curious about that. Dad had never refused to tell him anything if he asked about Mom; in fact he had always seemed to welcome any opportunity to talk about her. This was a new album though, an album he hadn't seen before and despite his attitude about being up there in the first place he wanted to see.

Besides, it seemed to be making Dad happy.

"Look, there's Holly," Bernie said, pointing to a photograph of a slim white rabbit dressed in a chef's jacket and plaid pants, joyfully waving at the camera while her belly bulged out in front of her. "She always could cook well."

"Mom was a cook?"

Bernie nodded, still smiling at the picture. Using one long gloved finger he stroked the photograph.

"That's how I met her," he said quietly, hugging Buster closer. "I was one of the lower writers - not even a writer. I was still just a typist, putting the scripts in order after someone else wrote them. She was one of the cooks in this little diner across from the lot." He sighed before saying, "I'd go over there every morning to get coffee and try to see her, then back for lunch, then still go by there for dinner." Laughing he said, "I think I spent a good portion of my first year's paycheck there before I finally got the nerve to ask her to lunch."

"And she said yes," Buster guessed.

"No, she didn't," Bernie said. "She said no, she wanted to go to dinner. And she insisted on Italian."

"She liked Italian?"

"Oh yes," Bernie sighed. "And she craved it when she was pregnant with you, like she was here." Still giving his lopsided smile to the picture he added, "The house smelled like garlic until the day you were born."

Buster found that odd, only because he couldn't stand the smell of garlic himself. He wasn't even that overly found of Italian; he usually preferred Mexican.

Well, pizza was Italian…sort of.

"I told her not to go to work like this," Bernie was saying, drawing Buster back into his conversation. "It was tight, but we could have made it on my salary. But she was stubborn, she insisted on working up until about seven months along. She finally yelled at me and stopped answering the phone at work because I called every hour to make sure her - and you - were OK."

Buster looked up at his father, grinning, until he saw that his father was no longer smiling as wide. Now he was regarding Buster, most of the humor gone from his face.

"Do you remember her? Really?"

Buster looked at him, wondering if it would do any good to lie to him. Dad would go nuts if he lied. And Dad could always tell; usually no matter what, he found it was less painful if he just admitted what he had done and faced the consequences for it.

But would a lie here be appropriate? Wouldn't the truth hurt more?

"Some, not much," Buster finally admitted. "I remember her singing. I remember her making pancakes with faces on them for me - "

"You loved those - you'd sit and talk to them - "

"Until she came by and started feeding me," Buster finished, glad that his memories of her were starting to come back. "Then she'd hand me the spoon and let me take over. I kinda remember her picking me up and holding me."

He struggled to recall anything else but was unable to do so. Almost all his memories involved his father...

One of his early birthdays and his father wiping a tear back as he talked to himself while looking at a picture of Mom, telling her that Buster had turned five. His father putting the gloves on his hand, in front of the picture and the bookcase with the white urn that contained Mom's ashes. His father holding him while he cried because the kids on the set had been mean to him his first day there even though two of those kids ended up becoming his best friends a week later.

His father teaching him to ride a bike. His father taking him to the zoo. His father teaching him to swim.

His father spanking him for lying to him about not leaving the yard without him. He had done it anyway though, getting on the bike, so young the training wheels were still attached and peddling down to the next block before coming back. His stupid ass trying to lie about it even though his father had been standing on the sidewalk outside the house glaring at him when he rode up; he wondered if Dad had been watching him the whole time.

Dad cuddling him after he got in trouble, telling him no matter what he did he'd still love him. Dad holding him when he got hurt, like when he ripped his knee open after falling out of a tree. Dad drawing goofy faces on his cast when he broke his leg years ago. Dad sitting down on the couch with him and helping him learn lines or do his homework.

Dad clapping and saying he was doing great at the guitar and that he was going to be the next Jimmy Hendrix when he grew up even though at the time he was still learning and it probably sounded like several small rodents being tortured.

Dad holding his hand and standing beside him when he first went to a real audition for 'Tiny Toons' - just because he was the child of a writer at the studio didn't mean he could just walk into a part. Dad later standing beside him when he finally told Plotz and Mr. Spielberg that he no longer wanted to star on 'Tiny Toons'.

Dad sitting in his study, leaned back in his chair, reviewing contracts with Bugs.

Dad reading books on ADHD and diabetes and seafood allergies so he was informed about the diseases his friends had. It also made his friends feel they could come to his house and always be welcome no matter what illness they might have. Dad finding a tutor for sign language so Buster could learn. Dad even sat in on some of the lessons himself so he could do more than wave at his son's deaf friend.

All this on top of his own schedule; his job, trying to have a social life. Buster scooted closer to his father, almost sitting in his lap while Bernie buried his face in his ears for a moment.

"You wanna go camping really bad don't you?" Buster asked quietly as he continued to watch his father turn the pages in the book. As the book went from being halfway done, the chubby blue baby bunny grew to be a toddler, the familiar white bunny behind him disappearing shortly before the last page.

Despite what had happened, Dad had kept the book going until he turned five and entered childhood. Buster knew the 'childhood' book was downstairs in the study. He knew at some point that would be filled - probably soon - and Dad would no doubt start a new book for his teenaged years.

Buster internally cringed at the thought; he was already growing gangly and felt awkward in his own body. He was doubly glad he had decided to leave the show when he did. The thought of being on the air and being scrutinized as he went through puberty was humiliating.

He was just waiting for his voice to begin changing. While he wouldn't have to worry about that being broadcast, he was pretty sure that Max would laugh his head off about it, if only because they had all laughed at him. He had tried not to laugh much, but it had been funny at the time. He just knew Max would be getting his revenge on them all soon.

"I want to do something with you really bad," Bernie corrected. "You're going to be thirteen soon, an incredible young man. I don't want you to ever look back and say we never spent enough time together." Waving his hand at the now closed book he added, "I don't know if one day something may happen to me- "

"Don't say it Dad," Buster said, returning his father's hug. "If you really want to go, I'll go." Somewhat embarrassed he added, "Sorry about before, not wanting to help."

"Don't worry about it," Bernie said. "If you really don't want to go, we don't have to. I'll be taking my vacation and had the idea, and with Foghorn being experienced in it…we just started talking." Laughing he added, "Somehow it went from our trip to a whole outing involving half the studio."

"So?" Buster shrugged. "It might not be that bad, and besides, it'll do Monty and Plucky some good. They hardly realize there's a world outside the couch half the time."

"Wakko and Yakko too," Bernie pointed out. "Remember, they weren't born with some of the same opportunities you and the others got; another reason Foghorn got so excited..."

"What about Bugs?"

Bernie paused before shrugging, grinning and standing up.

"I think he might have lost a bet. Bugs isn't what I consider a camper."

Buster sighed before saying, "My thoughts exactly. Neither am I though; I'm worried about it. I saw 'Deliverance' and now - "

"Where'd you see that?" Bernie said, fully turning back toward him.

_Shit._

He'd forgotten that was one of the 'I got the damn movie but don't tell your dad' flicks Max had brought over one time. The four of them had watched it then tortured Hampton for days, asking him to say 'you got a pretty mouth boy' or even better, telling him to 'squeal like a piggy'. It had confused him but delighted them.

There was simply nothing better than an in-joke.

"Uh…I didn't," Buster said, turning away from his father and hoping he wouldn't notice. "I just heard about it. Um…about a bummer of a summer trip."

"You could say that," Bernie muttered.

Buster waited in trepidation, wondering if his father was going to ask further questions.

"I won't ask," he sighed. "I can only imagine the response."

Buster sighed in relief. He wouldn't have to lie or risk getting his friends in trouble.

"But here's a question I want an answer to; before I yanked you off the box, you were sitting there with a silly smile on your face." Smiling he asked, "Babs?"

Buster sighed again, this time in irritation. Screw Max, he'd rather his father ask him about the movie... It'd be less embarrassing than talking about her.

Listening to his father's quiet chuckles and pronouncement that this was a 'man's only' trip, Buster rolled his eyes and wondered just how much this trip was going to suck.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 29, 1996

"Exsqueeze me?"

Yakko turned from gazing out the window and watching the activity on the street to stare at Bugs like he had grown a second head.

He hadn't.

Perhaps he misheard. He must have; it was the joy of finally getting the learner's permit. He was almost a licensed driver - only five more months, he'd turn sixteen, he could take the road test. He had scored one-hundred percent on the written. Now, Plotz could actually start to find 'the chosen few' that would actually let him do the practical, hands on portion of driving.

Yeah, being proud obviously made you hear things. Things that made no sense. Because there was no possible way Bugs Bunny - city boy - just said -

"You heard me right doc," Bugs said, forking a spoonful of salad in his mouth. "Camping. C-A-M-P-"

"Yeah, sleep on the ground, eaten by a bear," Yakko laughed, already gazing back down at the permit beside him on the table. "I know what it is and I know how to spell it. I just want to know why you're talking about it."

"Because we're going," Bugs said in a voice that didn't exactly convey joy at the thought.

Yakko raised his ears in alarm before lowering them.

He had heard wrong. Misunderstood.

Bugs wouldn't have said 'we're' and been referring to the occupants at the table…which was just them. No, 'we're' obviously meant Bugs and some friends of his.

A friend that wasn't him.

Yakko nodded to himself, comforted. Foghorn would probably like something like that; he could picture him out there chopping down a tree or…something. Whatever they did out there.

"All of us. Me, you, Wakko, Buster, Bernie - "

"What?" Yakko laughed in astonishment with just a trace of worry being displayed in his tone.

He turned to look at Bugs, wondering if it was some sort of joke and he just wasn't getting the punch line.

"Camping Yakko, camping," Bugs grumbled in a sour voice as he cut his salad, stabbing at the croutons with his knife. "We - you and me - and the others."

"OK, slow down, hold the phone," Yakko laughed. "Look, I'm a little old for the Cub Scouts Bugs; I think - "

"It's to say congratulations for passing your test," Bugs said, not looking at him as he continued to shred his salad.

Yakko watched him, finally raising an eyebrow; Bugs should know better. Bugs was so full of shit at the moment that if he wasn't careful he'd go from being grey furred to brown.

"Right," Yakko said, smirking. "Ya know, the lunch is more than enough. I'll forgo any extra activities this weekend - "

"Extra?" Bugs raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you have planned?"

Yakko thought quickly. He didn't have anything 'planned' per say, but he knew even his non-plans included not sleeping on the ground in a nylon bag while owls hooted over his head. He'd had enough of sleeping on the ground in his youth.

"Um…reading, and studying…"

_Think stupid!_

"Yeah, studying. Got a paper to write for Flameil," he said easily. "And the sibs - "

"Wakko wants to go, and I already know Dot's going to Molly's for the horse show in Sacramento ," Bugs said. "Try something else."

"Wakko wants to go?" Yakko asked, finally giving up on eating his club sandwich in light of this startling new revelation. Narrowing his eyes at Bugs he asked, "Did he say that because he sure hasn't asked me - "

"Well, he doesn't know yet, but I bet he will, once someone asks him," Bugs interrupted him. Rolling his eyes and muttering, "Hell, no one else got asked, he can consider himself lucky."

Sighing, Yakko finally said, "All right Bugs, what's the game? You're not what I'd consider an 'outdoor recreational' type."

"I like being outdoors!"

"Lounging on your deck with a smoothie isn't exactly what I was referring to," Yakko drawled. "Buster finally succeed in hitting you on the head with a mallet didn't he?"

"Nothing going on," Bugs said, eyeing him carefully before returning to decimate his salad. "And Buster finally succeeding in hitting me…oh no, no doc. He and the rest of the little terrors…I'll get them for that stunt a few months back…"

Yakko winced, feeling a slight touch of sympathy for Wakko and the other boys.

He wouldn't help protect them of course; he was no fool. They simply couldn't toilet paper Bugs' car - right before a rain storm - with about eighty rolls and not expect the king of pranks to get some sort of revenge on them.

And the rabbit was devious and clever; no way he was getting on the wrong end of him. The Fab Four were on their own. He'd sit back and just enjoy the show.

Yakko pulled himself back to the conversation when Bugs started speaking

again.

"I just thought it would be nice to take you camping, do something fun with you. It's been a rough month, and now we have something to celebrate."

Yakko started to feel bad, wondering if Bugs was being straight with him.

_Really? That's nice, that Bugs wants to do something with me…_

_Who the hell does the rabbit think he's fooling?_

"Again, I think I'll pass - "

"You can't," Bugs said, sipping his water and not looking at him. "I already bought you a sleeping bag."

"Return it…please."

_Oh God please return it because the thought of having to use it - _

"I can't - besides, you owe me," Bugs said, smirking and nodding his head toward the permit still sitting on the table... "Don't think Plotz was the only one that had to do something. Besides, who drove you there and signed the paperwork as your guardian? Who helped you study that book? Who saved you from gnawing the fingertips off your gloves while you sat there anxiously awaiting the results of the test?"

Yakko, eyes widened, stared at Bugs in horror while his mind quickly worked.

OK, that was true. And God knew he owed the rabbit more than he could ever repay and not just for getting him through the last hellish month since Goose died. It still hurt to think about, but he was slowly getting over it. Bugs had said, in time, the pain would be there, but it would be easier to talk about.

Yakko knew that; while he hadn't been quite as close to Mom as he was to Goose, it could be painful to talk about her as well. But, as time had gone by, he was able to speak about her. Luckily, Wakko and Dot had seemed to handle things well; they had been distracted though with school work, the Spring Fling Function, sleepovers at different houses…

There was simply too much the rabbit had done for him alone - not to mention his siblings - that he could ask him to do anything and Yakko would gladly do it.

Except camping.

OK, he had to think. Bugs had helped him get his permit, and he wouldn't take it back. His permit was safe, Yakko was sure of that.

Pretty sure…

"Um…can I just give you some gas money?" Yakko asked, wishing his voice didn't sound like a whimper.

Camping…the damn rabbit was insane.

"I don't want your money," Bugs scoffed before putting on a smile faker than the Joker's. "I just want your company for the weekend to celebrate your big accomplishment! Just a getaway with the men!"

_Not even any girls?_

Yakko continued to stare at Bugs momentarily before asking, "OK Bugs, what's really in that salad? You got some of those crazy mushrooms I've heard about in there don't ya?"

"Don't be lippy Yakko; if I did I wouldn't share 'em with you," Bugs said in a very upbeat voice before muttering, "I'd be saving them for the nature hike

through hell."

Something wasn't adding up. Bugs wanted to take him camping and…

Yakko thought about that.

OK, he was still trying to wrap his whole mind around the phrase 'Bugs wanted to take him camping'. Anything beyond that couldn't be comprehended until he puzzled that out.

"It's gonna be fun," Bugs said, sounding almost like he was on the verge of a breakdown he was talking so loud. Waving his fork around with a tomato still speared at the end he added, "Just imagine, you and me, out on the trail, roughing it - "

"I don't 'rough it'," Yakko said, hoping he didn't sound too haughty. "I 'roughed it' through half my childhood. I have no desire to - "

"This is different!" Bugs insisted, still with the large fake smile. "This is just us - with people who care about you!"

Yakko rolled his eyes. He wasn't going camping. Period. He would be willing to think about it for a quarter of a second if Bugs would just be straight with him. It was obvious that the rabbit was lying through his big front teeth.

"No Bugs," Yakko said, swallowing and hoping he'd be able to return to eating, but with the way his stomach was now twisting he wasn't that optimistic. "Thanks but no thanks."

"Oh please?" Bugs said.

Yakko looked up at him and groaned out loud. He thought Wakko and Dot were bad at the 'oh please oh please oh please do whatever because I love you' face.

Bugs could actually give them lessons.

_What the hell was going on?_

"I just…wanted to do something with ya doc…" Bugs said before trailing off with a sad sigh. "You know, you called me 'da-doo' a couple of times - "

_Never ever doing that again._

"And I always tried to help you out, be a good role model - "

"Up until this idea you were!" Yakko insisted, despite the fact he was well aware the rabbit was using trickery on him to get his way. It was hardly the first time he had done it. "You know I respect you more than anyone I've ever met and - "

"And all da-doos want to take their little doo's camping," Bugs said, sniffing and getting a wet look in his eye. His ears folded down behind his head and he sniffed again, staring at Yakko, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.

Yakko stared back at him like he was deranged. Bugs was crying - that was more than he usually did to get his way. Jokes, trickery, bribes, teasing threats, threats actually carried out…he could handle all those.

But…tears?

_It's a trick Yakko…he's an actor, a very good, devious, diabolical, clever actor…_

_Could anyone actually fake the wounded look that well?_

He had been amused, then horrified at the idea. Camping. It dredged up all manner of frights, from rousing renditions of 'Koombaya' to 'Deliverance' to having to choke back a 'smore' - whatever the hell that was. Something nasty having to do with marshmallows and Graham Crackers was all he had figured out.

He shuddered as he imagined ticks getting in his fur, nettles stuck in his hair…having to bathe in a filthy creek. Then he said 'others' - Wakko was somehow getting suckered into this little outing though for the life of him he couldn't figure out how or why.

He watched as Bugs continued to look at him, one single tear slipping from his left eye and making a small wet path down his cheek and Yakko groaned, hiding his face in his hands. If he couldn't see Bugs, he might not feel as guilty about saying no.

He wasn't saying no - he was being forced to go... Well, not really forced - Bugs hadn't said 'you have to go or I'll take your permit back'. No, the rabbit was doing something far worse…

The 'guilt trip'.

_Dirty, sneaky, underhanded - _

"Please tell me you'll go," Bugs asked hopefully. When Yakko finally glanced back up at him he clasped his hands under his chin and widened his eyes anxiously.

"I don't know Bugs - "

"Please? For me? Do it for…your da-doo?"

_Oh. My. God._

Yakko mentally screamed to himself. He should never have jokingly called Bugs that; the Warner siblings' Da-Doo. He damn sure shouldn't have given Bugs an early Father's Day card. He knew the rabbit liked it.

He had gathered his siblings up and bought the card a few weeks ago, after they had gone through the entire service for Goose. Luckily, like with most holidays, stores started selling cards and accessories for the holiday many moths prior to the actual event.

Spying a Father's Day card, they had bought it, crossing out the word 'Father' and writing in 'Da-Doo' instead. After handing it to the stunned rabbit they had taken him out to lunch, sort of a 'thank you' for all he had done for them. God knew his real father wasn't worth the price of the card, let alone a stamp.

Bugs had said he was flattered they thought that highly of him. He had never received any sort of card for that particular reason from anyone, student or not, let alone received the honorary title of 'Da-Doo'.

The rabbit had obviously been touched.

Yakko just hadn't realized it was in the head.

"Can't I just think about it?" Yakko begged, desperate.

Maybe if he had a little more time he'd be able to think of a logical explanation for why Bugs had gotten this idea. With any luck he could also hopefully come up with a better reason for not going.

"I have to know now, to plan our trip," Bugs said.

"But - "

Bugs then dramatically threw his arm over his eyes before sighing loudly, "It's OK Yakko. I understand you don't want to hang out with a stupid boring old hare like me - "

"Now hold on! That's not what I meant and you know it!" Yakko said, standing and pointing to Bugs.

He also said it more loudly than he intended. He knew that as soon as he heard most of the restaurant fall silent behind him.

He cast a glance over his shoulder before just groaning and closing his eyes. Half the people in there were looking at them, forks or sandwiches half raised to open mouths or drink glasses clutched in hands.

A few were even glaring at him, eyes narrowed and making 'tsk tsk' noises. He heard one man say something about the boy should be ashamed of himself for treating his father that way. Yakko was hard pressed not to tell the man to mind his own business. Someone else said something about the rudeness of 'today's youth'.

Yakko cast a panicky look at them before glancing back at Bugs, who had now hidden his face in his hands with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Bugs Bunny. For Christ sake if someone lived in a cave they would know the name 'Bugs Bunny' and it was common knowledge that he had no children. And Yakko himself knew he wasn't exactly an unknown either. Everyone knew Bugs wasn't his father.

_Though he's been more of one than I ever had…_

"OK Bugs, OK," Yakko finally sighed, sitting back down. "If it will make you that happy than I guess I can do it for you - "

"Excellent doc," Bugs said, snapping right back to normal and going back to his salad. "You'll spend the night with me Thursday and we get going early Friday."

Yakko, stunned, felt his head reeling at the speed of Bugs' recovery. He narrowed his eyes at the now grinning hare; he sure snapped out of his little melodramatic mood quick enough.

He had just been 'had'. Again.

"Fine, you got me," Yakko hissed. "Now what's really going on?"

"What?" Bugs shrugged. "I wanted to do something with you and this opportunity…sort of got presented to me. In a forced way."

"Oh, like with me then?" Yakko asked, still glaring at the now triumphant looking rabbit. Tapping the table in annoyance with his finger he asked, "Fine, I'll get to experience the closest thing I'll ever get to a father-son bonding moment in the woods. Now, wanna tell me what's up…doc?"

"Do you think I always have some ulterior motive?" Bugs asked, looking slightly hurt.

"Yes."

Looking somewhat hesitant Bugs said, "It's not like that Yakko, really." Looking uncomfortable he added, "In fact, you'll probably laugh."

"Trust me, I could use some humor right now," Yakko said tightly, still tapping on the table.

"Oh all right, fair's fair," Bugs muttered, tossing his napkin down in disgust. "I was talking to Foghorn - "

"Knew he was involved in this somehow," Yakko muttered quietly.

" - and Bernie wanted to take Buster camping."

_Bet he's as thrilled as I am._

" - and after talking, then Jeeves decided it would beneficial to 'Young Master Montana'. Then Daffy got involved, before you knew it they were all going and Foghorn and I got to arguing and I got sort of…dared," Bugs finished off, swallowing.

Yakko went back to staring at Bugs for a second, trying to take it all in.

So many questions and what if scenarios…

Dared? He wanted to take him after he got 'dared'? And the others…what a crew.

Max - the billionaire brat…in the woods? With his English butler who would no doubt be trying to serve tea and biscuits at four PM sharp every day? This would be a trip.

There would be Wakko, no doubt burping his way through campfire songs…no, he'd set the woods on fire. Then he'd probably sit there and fiddle like Nero while the entire forest burned around their ears.

Plucky would be whining about not having a video game to play or worse, lose his medicine.

Buster, just being moody and whiny in general, would encourage his minions in the mayhem.

That was just the younger portion of this crew. The adults…Yakko closed his eyes, continuing to imagine...

Mr. Bunny would probably be sitting around with a pad and pen writing everything down to put in a script for an upcoming episode. Bugs would be making jokes.

Than there's Foghorn, who was probably the only one of any of this motley crew that could correctly read a compass let alone do anything else. His booming voice would be echoing through the woods with enough volume that most local wildlife would be scared off…Good lord what if something happened to him?

Daffy and his egotistical attitude would try to take over. He'd fight with Bugs, then get them all lost and they'd have to dine on berries and C-Rations until they were picked up, dehydrated and starving a week later. To top it off, there would probably be a bazillion paparazzi standing at the edge of the forest taking pictures of their stupid asses when they were finally rescued.

He saw this playing out in his mind like the latest comedy to come out of the studio. It was as vivid as if he was watching it on a screen in front of his plate.

Holy shit what had he just committed himself to?

" - but it wasn't just for the dare, I thought you might like to go so I said yes and then - "

"Dared?" Yakko asked in a hard tone. "Dared? How old are you again? I barely accept 'it was a dare' from Wakko for some of the lame-brained stunts he pulls and he's eleven. And now you're telling me - "

"You don't understand doc!" Bugs exclaimed.

"No I don't," he muttered, slumping back against his seat and crossing his arms. "I'm getting dragged out into the forest during flea and tick season because a rooster challenged your manhood."

"I'll buy you a Hartz two-in-one collar if you're that worried about it," Bugs joked.

Yakko just glared at him. The only good thing about this was that Dot was going to be spared the entire experience.

Lucky. He almost wished he was female at the moment.

Standing up to sit in the booth next to him Bugs put his arm around Yakko's shoulders and said, "Look, one time thing, I promise. And it's only three days - and I really did want to do something with you, I just didn't know what. I mean what did you want to do to celebrate?"

"Going to Disney World mighta been nice," Yakko muttered. Looking up at Bugs he sighed and said, "Fine, fine, I'm going, but you owe me one now."

"I owe you a few I'm sure now. Anyway, we sort of need you there anyway," Bugs said. At Yakko's puzzled look he said, "You know we use you as the go between sometimes; whether you like it or not the younger boys look up to you - "

"Don't remind me."

" - and trust me, with those four, we'll need the extra set of eyes and mature attitude you'll bring along. You really are an incredible young man doc; we need you there."

Yakko scrutinized Bugs briefly; the rabbit didn't seem to be joking. And he had known Bugs long enough at this point to figure out when something wasn't right. It didn't stop him from getting played every now and then, but…

He shrugged. It was three days... No, it didn't sound fun, but Bugs actually looked halfway excited about it, now that he was grudgingly agreeing to accompany him.

Not to mention he had again acknowledged that Yakko was mature enough to help the adults, at least with the younger children... He had said it before, but Yakko had no objections to hearing it again, simply because it was true.

They didn't always listen to him, but the younger boys listened to him no less often than they did the adults, which was about seventy-five percent of the time.

That other twenty-five percent though…

Yakko shuddered as Bugs continued to talk about how this trip might not be that bad. Yakko wasn't that optimistic - it was a boys only trip. He hoped that there really was some hot girls going on the same type of shindig somewhere close in the woods because he had zero hope for any entertainment from this trip.

Then he heard Bugs say putting up a tent can't be that hard; pull a string, pound a stick in the ground like in the shorts he filmed and it would simply spring up. Foghorn was full of malarkey - there was nothing to camping and living in the woods for three days - dare him, Bugs Bunny - to camp? The rooster was a crazy as he was loud.

Bugs started scoffing at Foghorn's planning and warnings and advice. And they were going to have to rent a four-wheel drive vehicle because they were going 'off-roading'.

Yakko smirked to himself. OK, there was going to be entertainment after all. Watching Bugs set up a tent by 'pulling a string and pounding a stick in the ground' should be one of the many highlights of the entire weekend.

But, it was still going to suck.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 30, 1996

" - and Master Montana, this will be an adventure - "

"If I desire adventure I shall brave the depths of Plucky's room," Montana muttered, slumping further down in the passenger seat of the Camry.

He cut his eyes to Jeeves, glaring at him while he continued to talk about this frightening new idea for 'weekend fun'. Didn't Jeeves realize he was interrupting a perfectly good brood with all his talking about adventure and male comradery?

"This is a rite of passage for all boys," Jeeves said.

"I am not all boys," Montana argued in an arrogant tone, watching him and hoping he could figure out what game Jeeves was playing with him.

Jeeves was up to something. Perhaps it was a gag of some sort.

His butler…camping? Montana had almost been stunned into speechlessness when he was first informed. Jeeves was old - would he survive?

Well, he wasn't 'old'… Montana studied him for a second, momentarily being distracted from his anger. Jeeves was forty-four - he couldn't believe that asshole Darkwing had the nerve to even suggest Jeeves was 'old'.

OK, he wasn't 'old', but wasn't forty-four too old to wish to go play Daniel Boone in a forest? Had he taken leave of his senses?

Jeeves normally wore a suit, or at least a blazer and slacks - hardly appropriate attire for 'camping'. Montana wasn't sure if Jeeves owned a pair of jeans.

And the guy was balding, his salt and pepper hair thinning at the top… Montana smirked; perhaps that explained it. Jeeves had been outside too long, and the sun had addled his brains. It all made perfect sense now -

"No, but you are currently a boy who is looking at the threat of something far worse than a weekend camping trip."

_What the hell does that mean?_

Deciding he didn't much care, Montana went from internally studying Jeeves back to glaring out the window. He decided his sulk was much more satisfying than contemplating his butler.

The only reason he was in the car was because Jeeves had bodily picked him up - kicking and screaming like a four-year-old - and put him in the car. The threat of being trussed up like a Christmas ham and being hauled to the rental lot in the trunk was the only reason he had stayed in the car.

He was unsure if Jeeves would actually do that or not. He probably wouldn't shove him in the trunk.

Most definitely the back seat.

He hated being forced to do something, especially 'learning experiences'. And this was going beyond Jeeves' usual 'learning experiences'. This was almost cruel and unusual punishment.

Mostly, Jeeves let him get away with murder. Nine times out of ten, the worst he would get out of Jeeves would be a lecture or a threat of more dire punishment should he do whatever he had done again. Normally, the threat was severe enough that Montana would be extra cautious if he decided to do whatever it was again.

Every now and then though, if he pushed too much, Jeeves would put his foot down. Normally it was a lecture, but he certainly made threats of punishments he was more than happy to carry out if need be. And Montana had ignored many threats and received some rather horrid punishments as a result.

Camping had never been one of the punishment threats…

He frowned again, confused. Jeeves had to have found out he did something; usually he was more forthcoming about what he was being punished for though. He never made it a guessing game.

Montana knew from prior experience that Jeeves loved two things: 'learning experiences' and 'building character'. And Jeeves loved nothing better than being able to combine those two items and welding them into a punishment.

Which sucked. What was the sense in being filthy rich - or being the son of people who were - if he couldn't do what he wanted? Or not do something if he didn't want to? Especially if he didn't do anything to deserve it.

At the top of his 'want' list currently was Jeeves' resignation notice.

At the top of his 'do not want' list was 'going camping'.

The old chap had obviously been knocked in the noggin with a tin of biscuits if he thought Montana was going to willingly go camping.

Montana shook his head, annoyed with himself. He had to constantly watch what he said around the others. Having grown up with mostly Jeeves as his primary caregiver, he had picked up some of the Englishman's sayings. The first time he had said 'Cheers' to Plucky the duck had laughed at him for five minutes.

Plucky was used to it now being a frequent guest at his house. When he first had heard Jeeves talk it just had surprised him since he had never heard someone from outside of the United States .

Montana wasn't sure how the others would react. He would not have Buster or Wakko - who hilariously enough sounded like he just fell off the damn British Isle - laughing at him for saying 'cheerio'.

Luckily, when he was with just Jeeves, he didn't have to watch his tongue and could speak as he pleased…as far as that went.

But still, if nothing else he could take comfort in the fact that he was well spoken.

"Why are we required to rent a vehicle?" Max grumbled, crossing his arms in front of him. "What's wrong with yours?"

Hell, they drove it all the time.

That had always cracked Montana up; his family was rich. They weren't the richest in the world, but they would never be considered 'hurting financially'. As such, everyone always assumed he was driven around in a limousine. Truth be told, he had never actually been in a limousine, unless the one used for his scenes in 'Tiny Toons' counted.

And it shouldn't - that thing was about thirty years old.

His father owned a car, a Mercedes-Benz 420SEL that he occasionally drove when he was home…which was only occasionally anyway. Mother had an Audi A4 that she also drove occasionally, since she was home even less than Father was.

On the rare occurrence his parents were in town and actually needed to be driven somewhere to show how rich they were, they would simply rent a limousine. Jeeves would drive, acting in his 'chauffeur' capacity and showing just how much of a 'jack-of-all-trades' he really was.

Other than that, he just drove his own car, a 1993 Toyota Camry, whether it was to go to the grocery store or to take Montana to a friend's house or lessons or something.

Montana didn't mind. Much like the butler himself, he had grown to like the car, if for no other reason than its reliability. It wasn't exactly a TownCar, but it was nice enough that Montana saw no reason to complain about it. Even Wakko - who would probably end up being a mechanic the way he was going - said the Camry was a good reliable car. The completely stunning thing was, he'd probably know.

Stupid Mime, being a mechanic. So much wasted potential. He could probably be a singer or a world renowned violinist and yet he got his jollies getting greasy under the hood of a car. Montana had a horrible vision of his friend in a dirty sleeveless shirt and filthy jeans. He'd probably be wearing a worn stained ball cap on his head and have a large glob of grease at the end of his tongue that was constantly hanging out of his mouth.

Montana pictured it and shuddered. Wakko would end up like that and Montana wondered if he would still continue to hang out with him. He certainly could never be seen in public with him like that. But, he'd miss his friend. He would definitely still hang with him but he'd have to meet him in dark out of the way places –

"We will be going off the roadway," Jeeves explained in his insufferably calm way and jerking him back to the conversation. "I hardly think Mister Foghorn would be impressed if we show up in this - "

"Fog…Foghorn?" Montana managed to sputter, feeling his anger mounting as hope plummeted when he looked out the window.

Jeeves, damn him to the bowels of hell was pulling into a car rental lot. This was no twisted prank of the man's and it was not a dream that he could at least pray he would awaken from at some point. The butler was honestly going to make him go 'rough it' in the damn woods for three days.

Montana briefly scratched his head, thinking. Had he just annoyed Jeeves more than normal and this was the result? His parents hadn't been home in two months; he couldn't have pissed them off, not that they would have done this to him anyway. No, they would have more than likely handed him some money and told him to go away - that was the usual thing they did.

Camping. With Jeeves. And Foghorn.

Montana swallowed, feeling a knot of dread twisting in his stomach. If he was to be honest to himself, he didn't dislike Foghorn. The rooster was friendly with most of the children on the lot, Montana included, playing games or making jokes. After Bugs, Foghorn was probably the most laid back of the adults that they routinely came in contact with. But like with Bugs, the rooster was not someone they messed with overly much.

Unless they had a chance to get away with it. He smirked as he remembered them toilet papering Bugs' car. He bet the rabbit still hadn't figured out it was them.

And the mess it made when the surprise rainstorm had struck…

Wakko was creative, Montana had to give him that.

Stupid Mime…he wondered what he was doing right now. And how the hell he was lucky enough to get out of this horror. This would be something his mechanically inclined friend would probably like and Montana knew he just about worshiped the big chicken.

_Let me do him a favor then; don't wanna hog all the fun for myself…_

"Foghorn huh? Well, let's ask Wakko to come - bet he would enjoy the whole rustic experience."

"I told you Master Montana that others would be going," Jeeves said, shutting off the vehicle. "He will be accompanying us on this outing, as will his brother."

Montana smirked wider; Yakko was a hoot. There was promise of some laughs if Yakko was going to be out there, forced to use the bathroom in a bush.

Then he paused, thinking. That would mean he would have to as well.

_Ah hell…_

"And Master Plucky. And Mister Daffy."

Montana started before bursting into gales of laughter. Daffy huh? And Plucky would probably kill himself. He had to find a phone and call the duck just to get his thoughts on it.

First though, he had to get himself out of this. There would be time to find the humor in the situation later.

He would do almost anything for his best friend; Plucky had always stuck beside him no matter how he acted. But the key word in that thought was 'almost' - Montana simply could not be forced to endure a hiking expedition through the wilderness for him. It was not to be born. The dippy duck was on his own - every man for himself and all rot.

"Sounds like you'll have a blast. Count me out," Montana said in a bored tone, sitting back in the seat.

Reaching into his Hammerspace, he pulled out a pair of sunglasses and put them on his face. He reached over, reclining the seat back and folded his arms behind his head, knowing he was being rude but not much caring. Sometimes, if he was really fortunate, if he ignored the butler he would give up and go away.

Today was obviously not one of those days.

Jeeves reached over and gently took the sunglasses off his face before reaching over him and bringing the seat back to the upright position, earning himself a scowl from Montana .

"Come Master Montana, we will be getting back to nature - "

"Well, I refuse to go back. Not to mention, how can I get back to something I never left?" Montana shrugged. "I never ventured there in the first place."

"Precisely Master Montana," Jeeves answered. "I believe this will be a learning experience for you.

_Knew it…knew he was going to say it at some point._

"Come, we will need to reserve our vehicle - "

"No." At Jeeves' look he said more firmly, "Nu huh. Told ya Jeeves, count me out. You make me do a lot of shit but this ain't gonna be one of them. Fu- I mean no way."

Always prudent to not swear but so much in front of Jeeves. He'd get the 'gentleman can express their thoughts in more proper ways' lecture, and he just had that earlier in the morning when first told about this entire idea.

Jeeves would over look minor swearing. This morning though Montana had a five minute swear-a-thon when informed about the weekend plans. He would have continued on longer but Jeeves had interrupted him and told him he had no choice in the matter.

Montana had realized that after Jeeves had simply used his given name, dropping the 'Master'. He had learned that the hard way after having to deal with Jeeves for the past eight years. The use of his given name was a step away from a 'final warning'.

'Final Warnings' were bad. Usually anything done after a 'final warning' was a grounding…or worse. He didn't get them often anymore; after a 'final warning' was issued, he was wise enough to back off, sulk about whatever had been denied him, then find another way to get what he wanted.

If nothing else, he was resourceful.

"I had hoped you would be interested in at least assisting me in selecting a vehicle," Jeeves said before shrugging.

"Whatever the hell gave you that idea?" Montana muttered to himself as Jeeves stepped out of the vehicle.

He glared through the windshield as Jeeves walked around the front of his car to speak to a human that had run up, practically dripping hair grease on the ground he was so slicked up. Jeeves better be careful; he could slip in that and hurt himself.

He narrowed his eyes at Jeeves, swearing he would get revenge for this indignity. He'd demand that Jeeves be fired when he got back, dock his pay, have his green card revoked or something…

Montana sighed. No he wouldn't, his parents weren't home. Again. He snorted to himself; after almost thirteen years he'd think he'd be used to it.

Besides which…he wrinkled his nose. He liked Jeeves. A lot. As much as he angered and frustrated and cut into his fun and lectured about being a 'proper young gentleman' sometimes, he liked and respected the man enough to never hurt him.

He was the only one who knew most everything that went on in his life and actually seemed to give a shit. He'd done everything from nurse colds to self esteem boosts when the other kids called him fat. He taught him that there were other ways to get what he wanted without always throwing a tantrum.

The guy even chased away nightmares. Montana almost rolled his eyes at his own idiocy. When he was younger he was terrified that there was a monster in his room, no doubt left over from a horror movie marathon. Movies that Jeeves had actually told him not to watch, which meant he had watched them as soon as the butler's back was turned.

All he had done was terrify himself and he begged Jeeves to sleep in his room. Jeeves said he couldn't do that, but had presented him with a walkie-talkie, saying he would have the other one. If he ever got scared, even a little, all Montana had to do was push the button and call him and he'd come running back.

Montana snorted to himself, remembering; he still had the damn walkie-talkie in the nightstand by his bed. He hadn't used it in years…he wondered if the batteries were any good... One of these days he might haul it out and yell on it, just to see if Jeeves would come barreling back in his room like he used to. He bet Jeeves had tossed that thing out in the trash years ago.

Through his intervention he had ended up meeting Plucky, even though he had resisted tooth and nail at the time. And through Plucky he had finally become a 'normal' kid as opposed to a five-year-old hermit, meeting other friends - and enemies - because of the duck.

Jeeves had taught him how to read, write, count, swim, etiquette…

The man - the damn butler - had put the gloves on his hands when he turned five. Right before Montana went to bed because he had been waiting, however much it was in vain, for his father to do it because that's what fathers were supposed to do.

Montana scowled at the memory. He had waited all day for Father to appear, anxiously watching the door and mostly ignoring the pile of presents that were in the fancy dining room that was rarely used.

All day…

He remembered watching the ice cream slowly melt, Blair and Jeeves trying desperately to make him feel better, finally giving up so they could light the candles, sing, and attempt to eat the birthday cake. They tried, he had to give them that, and it was more than his own parents had done.

He had gobbled his dinner down quickly so he could scrub his hands and make sure they were clean. It wasn't everyday he turned five and had this event and Father was coming home for it.

Father had shown up about ten minutes before his bedtime. Montana sighed to himself; his father had greeted him with his usual formal address, speaking to him like he would a casual business associate. Father had simply handed him the box containing the items before turning, wishing him a 'Happy Birthday' and announcing that he had to leave again on an extended business trip.

Jeeves had silently kneeled beside Montana and taken the box out of his hands when he had tearfully watched his father depart. He had slipped the gloves over his chubby fingers and hugged him while Montana cried, again wondering why his parents seemed to dislike him so much.

Thinking back on it now, he wondered if Jeeves had known that something like that might happen. The man had presented him with a golf ball as he put him to bed, telling him he would begin his training in 'Toon Theory' in the morning. And he had, working with him daily until he breached his Hammerspace and was able to begin storing his gloves in there, only pulling them out when necessary like all the human toons.

Mother had phoned the next day to wish him a 'Happy Birthday'.

Montana sighed again; he'd never tell anyone, but he was well aware that if it hadn't been for Jeeves he would have no idea how to tie his own shoes let alone do anything else. No one ever took the time to teach him until Jeeves.

Montana tried to think about the former family butler, Richard. He barely remembered what the man looked like anymore. He had been four when Richard was fired for embezzlement of the household funds and Jeeves had come over from England as the new butler.

Montana remembered resenting him at first, if for no other reason than Jeeves was a pain and Richard had mostly left him alone. He remembered Richard was younger than Jeeves, or he thought. He felt his face twist as he continued to reach into his memories.

He simply remembered that Richard would come in, wake him up at some point, dress him because it was easier than teaching him how to do it, and dump him in front of the television with a bag of cookies or cake. No wonder he was the worlds chubbiest toddler. Other than that Montana could recall no real memories of the man; he wasn't sure if these were all his memories or things he managed to find out later. He only truly remembered that Richard rarely interacted with him.

Jeeves didn't; the man wouldn't stop interacting with him.

Like now.

Pain in the arse.

Jeeves was his legal guardian when his parents were out of town and he took the role very seriously. More seriously than Mother and Father; obviously the terms of their marriage contract had been fulfilled. They met long enough to conceive him, give birth, and dump him off in a house while they continued their lives somewhere else besides where he was.

And still did; with them owning several residences around the world, their lives were nothing but one big globe trotting adventure. He knew when he was very young, before he could really even remember, they would occasionally bring him with them before deciding the hassle of dragging a small child along wasn't worth it.

Hence him getting dumped at the house with first Richard, then Jeeves.

Montana sighed again. When he had been very little he had liked to pretend that Jeeves was his father.

Sometimes when he was feeling particularly lonely he still did.

He jumped when the passenger door opened and Jeeves leaned in, unclicking his seat belt like he was an infant. Montana watched him with narrowed eyes, still suspicious. Jeeves was behaving too oddly for him to be comfortable. This camping business was a sure sign that the man had obviously gone mad.

"I have politely asked you to exit the vehicle and assist me," Jeeves said. "Hopefully this excursion will help you continue your journey - "

"On the road to manhood," Montana muttered while rolling his eyes and taking his sunglasses back out of Jeeves blazer pocket.

He wished Jeeves would come up with something slightly different. He heard this same lecture all the time... He'd find the damn road when he was ready; did he need it forced down his throat?

"Come Master Montana, let us pick out a vehicle that will carry us on our great adventure. I believe this will be an enjoyable experience."

Montana looked at Jeeves, stunned. The butler was spewing so much bullshit at him he was surprised he hadn't been blown out of his seat.

This was going to suck and blow at the same time, totally defying the laws of physics. It was going to be a very wretched experience and he wanted no part of it.

But…

It might not be all bad; though he had a hard time admitting it, he didn't mind spending time with Jeeves doing stuff.

Sometimes. Definitely not camping.

And Jeeves had already said the others were going, Buster included. Buster was a damn good friend; if nothing else Montana admired the rabbit's sharp mind and his ability to stay calm in most situations that had the rest of them running rabid. He had good leadership qualities, something else Montana admired - not that he would tell the rabbit that.

But right now Montana was pissed at him. He couldn't imagine that Buster was any more excited about this jaunt into the wilderness than he was, but it was his father that seemed to get this whole mess started. Guilty by association - Buster was at fault too.

Montana decided he was pissed at all rabbits at the moment, just on principle.

And chickens. Damn Foghorn. Montana was demanding KFC for dinner tonight.

Plucky being there would be a god send - the duck got on his nerves constantly - he had since the moment he had laid eyes on him. But, he was his best friend. Not being friends with Plucky was almost unfathomable.

One time when they had been younger they had fought; something so petty and stupid Montana couldn't even remember what it was anymore. The duck had sputtered and lisped and ordered him out of his house and said he didn't want to be friends anymore with him.

That had been the longest two days of his life. If at the time he had any idea how to Fritz a noose, he probably would have hanged himself by the fourth hour. Luckily, Plucky had broken down and called him, saying he wasn't mad anymore and he could come back over to play.

Of course he had, but not before gloating to himself that Plucky was the sucker and he hadn't had to apologize. While he couldn't remember what they had fought about, Montana had no illusions about what happened. At that age if Plucky had been pissed off he was more than likely to blame for it.

Yes, Plucky being forced to do something besides play video games or read 'Star Wars' books and comics would provide ample opportunities for amusement.

And the Warners would be joining the party. Montana rolled his eyes at the thought; Wakko would probably get some thrill out of it. The Mime was a very close friend, probably his best after Plucky.

He was also an idiot. Only kid he knew that would let himself fall into a

hypoglycemic state simply because he hadn't wanted to interrupt a game.

Dipshit scared him half to death. He still owed him an ass kicking for that move. Perhaps he could beat him with a stick while they were out in the woods.

Montana wouldn't change him for the world, but he was so damn slow to catch on sometimes. Just sometimes - other times he was damned brilliant. Of course he chose not to show those times often because - again - he was an idiot.

But when he did show those times…the Mime amazed him.

And Plucky owed Wakko big time. That day Wakko pulled Montana off Plucky he had been about to clean the duck's clock over the comments he made about Mary. He understood to a certain degree - Plucky would pick up what his parents said. That much was obvious to any fool - he himself picked up speaking habits from Jeeves.

Luckily Jeeves wasn't prone to racism. Plucky's parents were.

After his punch in the mouth though he seemed to reconsider. Plucky was greedy, egotistical and judgmental, but he was also capable of thinking for himself and had a decent heart buried deep in his scrawny little chest. Even the Mime had agreed and said Plucky was probably just saying what he had heard because he had no ammunition against Mary other than her being black and poor. And he really had never cared before. It was only an idiot toon that would, and Plucky was no idiot.

Hopefully he was changing his mind. Montana hoped so; he had no intention of not seeing Mary but if Plucky didn't…could he choose between the two of them?

He shuddered; he hoped he never had to. His loyalty was to Plucky - 'bros before ho's' and all that nonsense. The duck would win hands down.

But he liked Mary. A lot. She did amazing things with her tongue with his tongue when they were able to sneak off by themselves long enough to do more than hold hands.

And she let him -

"This is the final time I shall request that you exit the vehicle Montana ."

Montana snapped his head around to look up at Jeeves. The butler was now glaring down at him from the doorway, his arms crossed. Montana returned the glare before popping the glasses back on his face and learning the seat back again. He noted the use of his given name but shrugged it off; Jeeves rarely did much to him in public.

Besides, no 'final warning'. He was defiantly safe.

"And this is the final time I shall request that you sod off Jeeves."

Rude as all hell, but adequately conveyed his feelings.

"I absolutely refuse to leave this vehicle," he added, closing his eyes behind the glasses. "Nothing will make me leave."

"Very well. If that is the way you wish to be."

_No fucking way - did that work?_

Montana opened his eyes, seeing the world through the dark glasses and peered at his butler who had turned to speak to the salesman. He shrugged before closing his eyes again.

Maybe Jeeves would go on the camping trip without him. That would be fantastic - maybe, somehow, he could find a way to get Mary up to the house. Without an adult there they could really -

Montana was cut off from his internal musings by Jeeves tugging on his arm, hauling him out of the car. Before he could even begin to register what was happening he felt his sunglasses pulled off before he was hoisted in the air, the world spinning before something roughly jabbed into his stomach.

Jeeves had flung him over his shoulder, continuing his conversation with the oily rental agent while carrying him like a sack of beans. He began to walk away from the vehicle, giving Montana an upside down view of the world.

How embarrassing.

"Jeeves, put me down!"

"Absolutely not. You are liable to dash out into the street as if you were again a four-year-old. Since this is exactly like how you are behaving, I am afraid I will - "

Damn it. Jeeves latest technique - embarrassing him.

And damn the man, he knew it worked.

"Fine, fine! I'll look at the cars anything just put me down!" Montana screeched over his lecture, pounding on Jeeves back with his fists and feeling the blink rush to his face. "Jeeves! Put me down!"

Jeeves wasn't putting him down; he was giving no indication he had any inclination to release him. In fact, Jeeves was acting like he wasn't even paying attention to him as he continued to carry him, arse over tit across the parking lot. He was just talking louder so he could be heard by the alarmed looking agent.

Montana tried kicking him, but with Jeeves' arm wrapped around the back of his knees he wasn't being terribly successful. His fists appeared to be having no effect.

Jeeves shoulder was shoving into his abdomen though; Montana decided to take heart. If Jeeves continued to bounce him much more over his shoulder he might sick up on the man.

And it would serve him right.

"Jeeves you son of a bitch - "

"If you continue to speak like that I shall be forced to put a pacifier in your mouth."

He probably would to.

"Perhaps if you tried being polite you would get further."

_Fine. I'll be polite…_

"Jeeves you son of a bitch please put me down!"

_Please was polite…_

When he got no response and was still being carted across the parking lot he finally begged, "Jeeves I'm sorry! Please put me down! Now!"

"If you think you can behave as a proper - "

"Young gentleman yes I know!" Montana said in a panicky voice as his hair fell into his eyes briefly. He swept back what he could and looked up; people were now looking at him. Mortified he begged again, "I will just please let me go!"

His yelling had attracted everyone in the area, several people shouting out it was 'that Max kid from TV!' while others pointed. A few had even begun to laugh.

Including the agent.

Damn it.

And he had also gotten the attention of two rather nice looking girls coming out of the store across the street. Both girls were watching, the blond with a stunned look on her face, the brunette watching briefly before taking out a camera.

Montana flushed in embarrassment. His day just could not get any worse. He half wanted to go to the woods now. He could hide in a tree and not have to worry about seeing a picture in 'TTD' or 'Entertainment Weekly' of him being carried across the parking lot like a tantrum throwing toddler.

"Jeeves please!"

"If I have your word on it."

"Promise! Just put me do-ow!"

Montana cut off as Jeeves dropped him not quite as gently as he could have on a bench outside the office of the car lot. He stared up at the butler, slack jawed and unbelieving that he just did that.

"You may not like what I do and you may not like what I say," Jeeves said, looking down at him with the barest trace of a smirk on his face. "But you will speak to me in a respectful tone. Is that clear?"

"Respectful?" Montana hissed, slowly coming off the bench and heading to the side of Jeeves. He was going to be wary; Jeeves might toss him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes again. "You called what you just did to me

respectful?"

"No. I call it effective," Jeeves said dryly. "If you look around Master Montana, you have left the car."

_Got me there._

"Now, if you have finished with the histrionics, I believe we still have a vehicle to rent."

_Son of a…_

He just wasn't getting out of this it seemed.

Well, he might have to go. No one said he had to be pleasant company.

"Fine, whatever," Montana muttered, falling into step beside Jeeves. "This sucks. You work for me yet you're allowed to bully me around - "

"I am a Max family employee," Jeeves corrected with a slight disapproving tone. "And I am employed by your father, not you. If he was unhappy with the job I am doing I am sure he would have replaced me by now."

Probably true.

"I am allowed to make decisions concerning your welfare and I believe this trip will be beneficial to you."

"Yeah, learning experience, I remember," Montana muttered, rolling his eyes before stuffing his hands in his pockets. "God forbid you make a learning experience out of something I would actually enjoy."

He sighed and kept step beside Jeeves, figuring he didn't have many options. The only other one he could see would be to run, and Jeeves would catch him; he was quick as hell. And when he caught him he'd probably put him on a leash or something.

Muttering rude comments under his breath he continued to follow Jeeves and the oilslick around while they looked at all manner of wretched and ratty vehicles. Most Montana wouldn't even consider getting in he didn't care what Jeeves did to him.

He gazed around the lot, bored and disgusted. If Jeeves was making him go on this little trek, the least he could do was rent a decent vehicle. Currently he was looking at a Jeep Wrangler…what the bloody hell were they supposed to do with that thing? The doors were canvas partially, not to mention the top. Montana shuddered at mental images of his body being hurled through the thin material as they careened off a cliff.

He was a toon and he was damn good at Chucking. Chucking couldn't save you from everything though, especially in a surprise situation or if you didn't see it coming. Look at Yakko; didn't help him and everyone knew how skilled he was.

Curious despite his annoyance, Montana went toward the vehicle, listening to the man talk about how wonderful this vehicle would be for 'off-roading adventure'.

Peering in the window Montana almost sneered.

No leather, a basic radio, no air conditioning, manual transmission…the damn thing didn't even have carpeting on the floor.

"No way," Montana said. "I'm not riding around in this bare bones death trap."

"Master Montana - "

"I'm serious Jeeves," Montana said, pointing a finger at him. "You might be able to bully me into going but I will at least go in style."

Jeeves finally sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as the agent continued to watch them.

"Fine Master Montana, what would you have us get? Perhaps a Rolls Royce? I feel I must inform you - again - that this is hardly going to be the occasion for us to consider a luxury vehicle."

"Nothing about this is going to be a luxury," Montana countered. "But the least you could do is supply me with air conditioning. I feel I need to point out it's the middle of summer - you do realize it's hot? Or can you, always walking around with a blazer on?"

"Appearances Master Montana - "

"If I may gentleman?"

Montana turned to glare at the car rental agent, wondering what he thought he was doing. This was obviously a conversation between a guy and his butler; he did not need to be involved. Jeeves was looking at the agent with a curious expression.

"I believe I have a solution."

Waving for them to follow the man began to march across the lot. Exchanging a look with Jeeves , Montana shrugged and followed him, wondering what new horror he would see now.

He frowned before feeling the barest traces of an approving smile on his face.

A Toyota of some sort.

"This is the Land Cruiser," the rental agent said proudly. "Only one on the lot at the moment - very popular."

Montana studied it for a moment. It was quite a beastly looking thing - would no doubt guzzle gas…giant tires, but looked a damn sight better than the Wrangler. And not a shred of canvas in sight.

This was what Wakko would probably refer to as a 'snob-mobile'.

Much more like it.

Walking quicker, he went to look inside the vehicle as Jeeves made disapproving sounds behind him.

Air conditioning, heated leather seats, CD player…It looked comfortable and stylish. If he had to get dragged out into the woods, this would be preferable to the jeep. The damn thing looked more solid than Fort Knox , which would be great for when they all plummeted off a cliff.

"This seems like more than we would require for a simple camping trip," Jeeves said, frowning at the vehicle before leaning in to begin looking at it.

"It has a four wheel drive, new inspection, new tires - "

"I wish to rent the vehicle, not buy it," Jeeves said.

" - and a built in power inverter," the agent said. "With the built in TV - "

"Excellent," Montana beamed, going to the rear of the vehicle. Peering in the window he could see the small television monitor folded up against the ceiling.

" - you can hook up a VCR or a game consol," the agent finished. "You can play your games as you go down the road."

"I want this one," Montana said.

"Part of my goal in agreeing to this was to get you away from your video games for one weekend," Jeeves sighed. "You should be able to unhook your hands from a controller for seventy-two hours - "

Shrugging, Montana said, "Look Jeeves, I don't want to go. I think I've made that abundantly clear. You want me to go for whatever reason - you've also made that abundantly clear. How about just cutting me some slack and renting this? At least I can have some entertainment on the way there." Smirking, he added, "Besides, if I'm playing a video game, it's less complaining you have to listen to."

Studying him for a moment, Jeeves finally sighed and said, "Agreed." Turning to the now beaming agent he asked, "Can we have it delivered to the house Thursday?"

Montana nodded. He hadn't gotten out of the little expedition, but at least he got to pick the vehicle he would ride to his death in.

Who knows, maybe it wouldn't be that bad. He could hide in the car and challenge Plucky to a Mortal Kombat tournament all weekend - Jeeves had promised to get him the new game. Perhaps Jeeves would get eaten by a bear.

No. He wasn't that fortunate...

This weekend was going to suck.

XXXXXXXXXX

May 3, 1996

" and then he said 'we're going camping'." Buster sighed. "I thought he'd lost his mind and I'd have to call Scratchy - "

"Oh you think you got it bad Bunny? I got dragged through a car rental facility."

"Shut up Monty," Plucky laughed. "You got a damn car with a TV in it - "

"You're riding with us moron! You should be down on those skinny orange knees of yours and kissing my ass for arranging that!"

"What is it with you wanting me on my knees near your ass - ow, asshole! Let that go!"

Wakko sighed, listening to his friends argue and complain and very likely beating each other into stew meat as he continued to secure the cheap CB radio in the Bunny's Jeep. It was too early to listen to this. The sun was still coming up.

Satisfied, he looked at the radio securely nestled between the passenger seat and the center consol and grinned to himself. Foghorn had wanted everyone to be able to stay in touch when traveling and had managed to dig up the smallest, cheapest radios Wakko had ever seen. He had hooked them up and had Wakko help him with that. When the adults had all wandered off to stand in a sleepy huddle he had asked Wakko to secure them so they wouldn't flop around.

Unfortunately he had to secure them without damaging any of the vehicles. Bugs and Jeeves had rented vehicles. He had some doubts that Mr. Bunny would allow him to drill anything on his car, especially his dashboard.

Foghorn already had a CB. He had also threatened to use his hide as a 'chammie' to buff his truck if Wakko even thought about attempting to drill a hole anywhere on his vehicle.

He noticed that Foghorn had been having him help more, or at least more than before. He even had him check over the Bunny's Jeep earlier when they arrived when Buster's father had been worried that their car was slightly older than Foghorn's truck and the two vehicles Jeeves and Bugs rented.

Wakko knew that Foghorn was watching him as he went through the Jeep just as a double check, but he was actually quite proud of it. He let him do it by himself while everyone either watched him or tried to wake up.

Or made smart assed comments like his friends. He snorted; Max wouldn't know a dipstick from a Pixie Stick but he had sat behind him and made jokes the whole time about him getting filthy before they even got there. Plucky had constantly made comments about the 'gear head' missing something and blowing the Jeep up.

At least Buster had the tact to stay quiet, occasionally telling them to shut up. At some point they'd be driving and probably need Wakko to help them change a tire. They wouldn't even know how to take the jack out.

Max had just countered with he would have road service; how dare Buster presume he'd change a tire?

Wakko had done his best to ignore the others but damn, he didn't pick on them for their hobbies. He had less than no interest in European history or fencing, but he didn't routinely tell Max he looked like a fruit with his skinny little sword and reading about some old dead king from a billion years ago. He didn't attack Plucky for interests in his dorky sci-fi stuff or computers or his video game obsession.

Well, not much anyway.

Plucky really should see a doctor about that.

He glanced over at his friends outside the vehicle. Buster was leaning against the open door watching him and holding the extra cardboard Wakko was using as a brace to hold the radios firm in their positions. Monty and Plucky were still in the middle of some argument over a video game.

Wakko shook his head and decided to be thankful that he was going to be riding with Foghorn. At least Foghorn was gung-ho about the entire thing. The big rooster loved camping. With him being so experienced, Wakko figured he had better odds of surviving.

He had serious concerns about Yakko surviving the entire ordeal. His brother, while not exactly thrilled about the entire idea, had seemed at least accepting of it. He had said that he was simply going to view the entire thing as an opportunity to see Bugs completely out of his element. Now though he was propped up on Bugs' rented Mercedes W463 and looked half dead.

Honestly, Wakko was looking forward to it…sort of. He wished that they didn't have to start quite so early and maybe with at least not half the party looking like they were going to their own hangings, but he didn't see it being all bad. The whole 'roughing it and living as real men' thing sounded cool. Not to mention he had heard Foghorn muttering and laughing to himself last night about the silly hare going to make a fool of himself.

Wakko assumed it was Bugs he was referring to. And Yakko was with Bugs. He liked Bugs and he was really smart and all, but the rabbit had said that he had never been camping. He had also said it simply couldn't be as hard as Foghorn was making it out to be. Wakko figured Bugs was in for a surprise…

His poor brother.

He shrugged it off. Yakko had said he would stick with Bugs 'for as long as it was safe to do so' whatever that meant.

Buster, true to his nature seemed to be just rolling with the punches. He didn't want to go, but his father did. And Buster had told him watching Monty and Plucky blunder their way through the woods with the butler should be worth its weight in comedic gold.

Jeeves was the one Wakko really felt sorry for. As if the poor guy didn't have enough to deal with having to put up with Max every day, now he was going to have to deal with Plucky too...

Wakko shook his head, figuring that Jeeves was just a glutton for punishment.

Daffy had to bail out the last minute to re-record lines and one scene for their movie. Something apparently got screwed up when the film had been dubbed in Spanish and he had regretfully backed out, leaving Plucky without someone to team up with.

Or that's what Daffy told everyone. Bugs said Daffy had just wimped out.

But Foghorn and Jeeves had both volunteered to take the little green duck with them. His father was definitely not the 'outdoor' type from what Wakko had heard so if neither of them had, Plucky probably wouldn't have been able to go.

And the duck jumped at the opportunity, but all he did was complain. Wakko thought Plucky should be a little nicer about it. Foghorn and Jeeves could have just said 'sorry kid, tough luck'.

Backing out of the Jeep Wakko looked at the others.

"All finished there Cooter?" Plucky asked snidely.

"Piss off Plucky," Wakko muttered. "I don't see you doing anything. This is - "

" - a gigantic waste of time and energy," Max finished, looking bored and tired. "I can't believe you're even pretending to support this."

"I can believe it," Plucky said. "This is the type of shit gear heads love; an excuse to drive around in the mud in big trucks and be tough."

"This coming from you," Wakko snorted, feeling himself growing annoyed. "Dot's tougher than you are."

He sighed; Dot wasn't coming along. She didn't seem that upset about it since she was getting to stay with her friends and have a slumber party. He thought she seemed a little upset, if only for the fact that she was going to miss out on toasting marshmallows.

But, it was 'boys only'. He felt like he was in some exclusive club.

"Knock it off guys," Buster moaned. "It's way too early - "

"Tell me about it," Max said. "I had hoped when the series was cancelled I wouldn't ever be up to see the sunrise again, yet here I am - "

"Come on Monty," Wakko said. "Its not gonna be that bad!"

"Yes it is; we'll probably all get blown off a cliff."

"We're going with Foghorn - "

"Yeah, that sweetens the pot," Max mumbled.

Annoyed, Wakko said, "Look, think about it - "

"I have. All week."

"We get to sleep in a tent - "

"On the ground like a group of vagrants."

"And roast hotdogs on a fire - "

"Jabbing my food with a dirty stick and throwing it over an exposed flame like a cave man?" Max snorted before giving him a nasty look. "The closest I want to get to cooking my food over an open flame is using a fondue pot."

"Look, just drop it guys," Buster said again. "It's gonna be a long three days. We all got suckered into this little trek, let's try to get through it without killing each other. At least while they're looking."

Wakko looked up when Buster used one long ear to point. The adults - and Yakko the almost adult - were watching them and talking.

It was never good when the adults got together to discuss things. When they did, they came up with crazy ideas like camping trips. Or comparing notes on stories to see whose alibi they could bust. Yakko had groggily informed him earlier that he had already busted one of his this morning. Buster said he had lost about three.

"So, what the hell are these things?" Plucky finally asked, frowning as he leaned into the Jeep to pick up the handmic for the radio and pressing the button repeatedly.

"Redneck telephones," Max said sarcastically. "I've seen them on television. Instead of saying 'hello' as a greeting you simply scream 'ye-haw' in the receiver."

"Max, you're an asshole," Wakko said, snatching the handmic out of Plucky's hand while Buster laughed.

"What?" Max said, a grin on his face. "I watched 'Dukes of Hazzard'."

"You did?" Buster asked, sounding surprised and wiping at his eyes. "Figured that would be too lowbrow and common for our little snob."

"I like seeing how the other half live."

"No, they're CB's," Wakko explained, half pleased that he was able to tell his friends something, and half worried that they all appeared to be ignorant on what they were. "We make up names for each other to use - "

"Handles. They're called handles. You use them to find out where the cops are and communicate with your fellow 'good buddies'," Max said in a matter of fact tone. When the others gaped at him in surprise he shrugged and added, "Hey, I've seen 'Smokey and the Bandit' too."

Rolling his eyes, Wakko said, "It's not all like that…OK, it sort of is, but we can think of handles for everyone - "

"No thinking required for you," Max said with another shrug. "You're Mime."

"And you're Mongoloid," Wakko shot back, tossing the handmic back into the Jeep. "Give it a chance Monty, it might be fun."

"So might bungie jumping but I don't want to try that either."

"Breaker One Nine this here's the Rubber Duck..."

Wakko turned to see Plucky's rear end leaning out of the Jeep as he happily talked into the microphone. Looking up he could see Max scrambling to the Land Cruiser parked behind it in the driveway. Buster just hid his face in his hands and shook his head, muttering about getting the adults pissed off before they even had their coffee.

Max looked up at them, smirked, and grabbed the handmic while hanging out the gigantic Land Cruiser they had all christened the 'S.S. Max' upon its arrival.

"Ya know a Rubber Duck is just slang for condom right?" Max asked sarcastically over the radio.

"Idiot!" Buster hissed before snatching the handmic out of Plucky's hand. Leaning out of the Jeep enough to see Max he added, "A rubber is a condom, not a Rubber Duck!"

"I don't care," Max answered him, still grinning at him out of his vehicle. "No difference. Both are full of splooge."

Wakko leaned against the Jeep, laughing with the others until a voice stopped them.

"What are you - I say - what are you four doing?"

Foghorn reached in the Jeep, hauling Plucky out by the back of his shirt and depositing him next to Buster. Max meanwhile had come barreling back out of the Toyota to stand near Wakko.

"People will hear you talking on the radio!"

"Thought that was the point," Wakko said.

He wondered why Foghorn just shook his head at him and sighed.

Silly chicken.

"Boy just…just hush son," Foghorn sighed, patting him on the head before getting a smile on his beak and rubbing his hands together. "Now, you four wanna play with the radios - gotta get ya'll handles first." Raising one eyebrow he added, "Almost afraid to ask - you four got names?"

Wakko happily called out nicknames - most fairly clean - for the others. They did the same - most of theirs were fairly clean as well.

Except Max's. Foghorn didn't appear to like the name 'splooge-catcher' for Plucky.

"Never mind! Never mind!" Foghorn said loudly, waving his hands at them. "I'll come up with names."

"This should be good," Max muttered as he crossed his arms. At Foghorn's look he leaned against the Jeep and asked, "So then, what's yours?"

"Rhode Island Runner," Foghorn said proudly, puffing out his chest. "My old boxing - I say - my old boxing name!"

Wakko watched as Max rolled his eyes before looking at the ground, shaking his head.

"Oh that's so lame Foghorn!" Buster laughed... "That's the best you got and you want to name us?"

"Lame huh boy? Know I'm gonna regret it, but what do you suggest?"

Wakko laughed and shouted out 'Loud Mouthed Schnook' as Foghorn sighed.

The others threw out a few clever ones, ranging from 'hayseed' to 'The KFC Special' to 'inspiration for my dinner Tuesday night'.

After a few seconds the laughter died down and Foghorn began contemplating the four of them.

Wakko, already bored, looked around Foghorn's bulky body. Yakko was still propped up against the Mercedes half asleep but looked like he might be soon joining the land of the living. He was groggily looking around, every now and then pausing to send a sleepy glare at Bugs.

Yakko tended not to be a real early morning type of guy. When he finally did go to sleep and they didn't have a shoot or something to do the next day, Yakko usually tried to sleep at least until dawn.

Wakko was doubly glad he stayed with Foghorn instead of at Bugs' house. Bugs was not exactly an early morning guy either; he bet the two of them had been lots of fun this morning.

He had fun, until he had to get up so early anyway. And Foghorn had him helping him get ready for the trip; checking over his truck and stuff. Plus he had bought a winch and a new bumper that he said he wanted Wakko's help putting on.

He said that he had wanted one anyway, and if they were going off into the woods - especially with Bugs at the wheel of a vehicle - it would be a good idea for someone to have one. Wakko had nodded; it had been fun to put on, and

Foghorn was probably right. They might need it; at least Foghorn planned stuff well.

He felt more assured that he would be the only one to last the entire weekend and not have lost a limb.

"Can't take this lightly kids," Foghorn muttered. "Handle's are serious business."

"Sounds like the Mime now," Max muttered.

Wakko kicked him. Max might have a good time if he'd lighten up a bit. He'd definitely have a better time if he shut up; Wakko figured him shoving a wrench up Max's ass would sort of ruin his weekend for him.

He'd hold off; he'd have to find a wrench and they were going to be out in the woods for three days. He had time.

"Gotta come up with something for ya," Foghorn was muttering as he studied a nervous looking Buster, his hand on his chin. Then he nodded. "All Star."

Wakko burst out laughing at Buster's look of shock. It wasn't a bad name. Better than 'Smurf'.

"What?" Buster sputtered loudly over the others laughing. "All Star? What's that supposed to mean?"

"What? Good at sports, good grades…It's a compliment - I say - it's a compliment son!" He shouted in the startled rabbit's face while waving his hands in the air. "All American kid - you're decked out in red, white and blue anyway!"

Buster apparently decided to not argue any further. Wakko thought it was a good idea; the rabbit was wearing a red jacket and jeans. And he was a white and blue bunny. There just wasn't much to argue there; it was better than 'flag boy' or 'Captain America ' or something.

Looking over at the smirking Max, Foghorn went quiet before nodding and saying, "No thinking here. Silver Spoon."

"Ha ha. Clever," Max drawled, trying to look annoyed, but he failed. He actually looked pleased.

"Moving on to Plucky," Foghorn said, turning to the smirking green duck. "Got one for you already too. Bank Note."

"Is that some sort of veiled insult?" Plucky asked suspiciously.

"Could be," Foghorn shrugged. "Could be a compliment. I could see you ending up - I say - I could see you ending up being a banker or lender, handing out money - "

"I gotta hand it out? Like let people have it?"

Shaking his head, Foghorn said, "Perfect banker." Turning to Wakko he said, "And you. I got the perfect name for you."

Wakko waited, holding his breath and hoping Foghorn had come up with something good. He was tired of being referred to as 'Gear Head' and 'Grease Monkey'. Foghorn would come up with something cool and badass –

"Gear Head."

"Huh?" Wakko said, sounding slightly put off as the others around him roared with laughter. Disappointed he pointed to them and said, "That's what they call me!"

"So what?" Foghorn said grinning and ruffling his hat again. "Nothing wrong with that. Get called that myself all the time." Turning to the other three he added, "You boys get your laughs now. When you three are broke down because you can't change a tire - "

"I'll call AAA," Max laughed. "Or the Mime."

Wakko started looking around for a wrench.

"What's gonna happen when they're too busy and you have to wait an hour or two?" Foghorn asked. "Don't matter how much money you got boy, gotta do stuff for yourself sometimes."

Wakko smirked at Max's look of befuddlement at the idea of doing stuff for himself.

"They ain't gonna have a tow truck following you around…or they might - I say - they might; heard about your little driving stunt at the lot. Wrecked into the Batmobile and it wasn't even being driven."

That completely wiped the smile off Max's face.

"Besides, you three will be waiting for a tow truck and won't be able to get Wakko here. He'll be too busy beating all the girls off with a stick. Girls love a guy that can work on their car."

Wakko turned a slightly triumphant look at them, having some more confidence in the name even with the thought of having to 'beat girls off with a stick'. Buster had stopped laughing at that statement and Max was looking surprised again.

It was probably true. Elmyra and Babs were both tomboyish enough, but he couldn't envision either of them under the hood of a car.

He wondered what sort of car Elmyra would have. He could see her in a big station wagon, like an Outback. Probably stuffed full of cats and dogs and rodents, going down the road and picking up strays like Sonic going after gold rings.

That was the only thing about this little camping trip, he couldn't call her for three days. Three days of not hearing her giggle about him being her 'cuddle head'. It was exhilarating and horrifying all at once.

"You three try to keep the noise down - neighbors still asleep," Foghorn said, walking back over to the group of bleary-eyed adults. "And keep it clean on the radio - or better yet, just stay off it. We'll be heading out in a minute."

"Yippie," Max muttered, slumping back against the Jeep. "Head 'em up, move 'em out."

"Cheer up Monty," Buster said. "The ride's only going to be about four hours - "

"Shit, that long?"

"Yeah, overheard Dad going over the route while Gear Head here was tuning up the car or whatever," Buster laughed and nudging Wakko in the abdomen. "You got the video game - what are you two worried about? Me and Wakko here have to deal with four hours of small talk."

"You two can ride with us," Max said, nodding his head to indicate himself and Plucky. "If you want... We've got plenty of room; I think the back seat could hold all of us."

Wakko shared a look with Buster. It was tempting. It was going to be a long ride, and he worried it was going to get boring. That long with no television or other form of entertainment sounded dull. Monty was being nice by offering.

But, it would be a slight against Foghorn. The rooster had been talking about this all week and genuinely seemed excited about the whole thing. Wakko didn't want to insult him. Foghorn had gone out of his way to include him in this little adventure and he had never run out of things to talk to him about before.

And like Yakko had pointed out to him, these guys went out of their way to help them any chance they got. If extended talking and trooping through the mud or whatever the plan was for three days was going to make them that happy, did they really have any right to refuse them?

Beside him Buster looked doubtful as well. Wakko understood; Buster had told him that his father had fallen into some sort of 'I need to spend time with my son before he moves away or I die' mood. It seemed odd; normally Mr. Bunny was pretty happy and laid back about things, but adults did get weird sometimes. And Buster not riding down with him would probably hurt him, especially since the whole thing had originally been his idea.

"No, thanks, I think I better stick with Foghorn," Wakko shrugged, happy that Buster was nodding as well. "I think I'll be OK."

"Same here; Dad's been weird the last week or so," Buster said. "I think I'll survive a road trip."

"Suit yourself All Star," Plucky laughed. "Don't go crying on the radio to us; we've got a copy of 'Ultimate Mortal Kombat Three'."

Damn.

Wakko scowled; he'd been waiting for that game too. Another one of the 'it's violent so not appropriate for children' games and it wasn't due out for another five months. Damn Max and his butler for getting the games early and tempting him with the forbidden.

Wakko hesitated for a moment before sharing another look with Buster. They both nodded; they'd have to pass.

Satisfied he had made the correct decision, Wakko shrugged. Max would bring it over to Buster's house; he'd get to play it eventually.

He hoped Max and Plucky realized they wouldn't be able to play it all weekend. Be ugly if they tried playing it for too long and the vehicle wasn't running. He wouldn't tell them that now though; it'd be taken as more talk from the 'Gear Head'.

Hearing them start laughing at each other's names again, especially his since Foghorn had picked the name they called him. Not really as annoyed with it as he had first been he started chasing them, laughing himself as a game of tag broke out.

He reached for his mallet, narrowly avoiding getting hit by Plucky, who by default was 'it'. He was quick, but out of the four of them, he was still the slowest.

He sighed in relief though; Max was laughing again as Plucky turned to chase him. Maybe he'd lighten up and actually have a good time.

They weren't optimistic that the weekend would be fun. He had hopes it'd be OK.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Come on turn…turn…Yes!_

When Bugs had completely turned to speak to Mr. Bunny, Yakko snatched Bugs' coffee cup and swallowed several times, feeling the hot liquid shoot down his throat. He'd been greedily eyeing the giant cup for the last five minutes like a starving man. Pretty much since the last time he had grabbed it and taken a few swallows.

Bugs liked his with cream and not as much sugar as him but Yakko didn't care; at the moment his one goal was to make it through the morning. He'd worry about the afternoon later. Coffee was probably one of the only ways he was going to make it through this odyssey with some portion of his sanity intact.

He quickly put the cup down on the roof of the car before the rabbit turned again to reach for it. Yakko bit back his laugh as Bugs picked up the cup, gave a slight frown as he lifted it and took a small sip before muttering the coffee was weaker than usual because he wasn't waking up and he'd drank about half the cup already.

Yakko smirked to himself. Too bad but it was the rabbit's own fault. If he had just let Yakko get his own damn coffee it'd probably be working better for him.

He was the one that kept insisting that 'young kids' shouldn't drink coffee. Yakko felt the grin slip on his face - he was just a 'little doo'. All 'little doo's' want to be like their 'da-doo's' and drink their coffee.

That should teach Bugs to pull out that card again.

Well, it wouldn't, Bugs didn't know he was grabbing his coffee every time he turned his head, but Yakko knew. He was quite pleased with his secret yet childish revenge. After all, it was waking him up and he was pulling one over on Bugs who looked like he was seriously reconsidering the entire idea.

Yakko briefly looked out at the street; a tall blond fox was jogging down the sidewalk. He let his eyes move up her body; he appreciated a good body, especially if it was outlined in tight green and black spandex. It was like she gift wrapped it for him.

He couldn't wait to move from the lot, if that was what he had to look forward to. Just looking out the window and seeing visions like that - he was definitely moving to this neighborhood when he was older. Yakko tried to be subtle but still crane his neck enough to watch her as she disappeared around the corner.

"Got the kids calmed down," Foghorn said loudly, coming from around the side of the Mercedes and making Yakko jump.

Yakko looked up and watched Plucky brain Buster with his mallet. Up in the large tree he could see Wakko hanging upside down from a branch while Max was bent over laughing under it... Max threw a very well aimed pie, hitting Wakko in the head and almost sending him tumbling to the ground.

Yeah, they looked real calmed down. The only good thing about them running around acting like a bunch of goofs now was that hopefully they'd all sleep well tonight.

But, they seemed to be having a good time. Max in particular seemed to have a worse disposition than he usually did. Yakko liked the boy, but he was mouthy and sarcastic at the best of times. And from what little bit Yakko had been able to pick up in his half asleep state, Max was not in anything remotely close to a good mood.

Plucky had seemed to be in one, not doubt delighted he was still going at all since Daffy bailed. Then he did a complete turn-around and was picking up Max's bad disposition.

Buster, already starting to display teenage moodiness, seemed resigned to his fate, making Yakko feel like he was a very odd comrade in this entire ordeal. Yakko also felt like all decisions regarding going along had been taken from him and he may as well just shut up and deal.

"Gave all the boys handles," Foghorn said.

Yakko frowned before shrugging. Chances were, if left to their own devices the boys would have come up with their own handles, undoubtedly all unbelievably filthy or rude. The rooster had probably been creative - and clean.

"Gotta get ya'll handles now."

Yakko felt his eyes widen in alarm, something they had been doing a lot this week. Especially the past twenty-four hours. At his house Bugs had declared he was going to beat Foghorn at his own game; he had been studying the 'Acme Guide to Camping'.

Yakko had cringed. Acme's guides to anything were notoriously bad; he wouldn't trust an Acme guide to baking a cake let alone surviving in the mountains and sharing living space with wild animals. Bugs was going to get them all killed.

Bugs' obsession with labels had led him to go out and buy or rent 'the best'. Yakko supposed it was nice he wanted to get 'the best' but he wished sometimes Bugs would listen to others.

Especially if that person obviously knew what they were talking about - hadn't Bugs asked the same thing of him several times? Foghorn was younger than Bugs and had a bigger, louder mouth, but he did know what he was talking about.

Foghorn, in a rare moment of seriousness had told him that just because 'Eddie Bauer' charges more and has a wider selection of tent colors, it didn't necessarily mean it was 'better'. And he offered to just let Bugs and Yakko stay in the tent with him and Wakko. He said 'the boys - I say - the boys are brothers and I've dealt with your snoring before. And the boys can just get earmuffs'.

Yakko had been amused. Bugs hadn't.

Bugs had bought a tent and other…stuff. Yakko was positive Bugs didn't even know what half the stuff he bought was. The rabbit had torn through the camping supply store like a small tornado buying everything in sight but seemed to have no clue as to what any of it was.

Yakko had no problem admitting he didn't - he was still trying to figure out how he let Bugs talk him into this.

Mostly now, his plans for the weekend included staying out of the way, getting plenty of chuckles, and follow Foghorn. At the moment, Foghorn was his assured meal ticket.

Bugs had also gone out and rented the most expensive vehicle he could find. The Mercedes W463 was a very nice car - top of the line.

Wakko had immediately crawled all over it upon their arrival to inspect it even while Foghorn had turned his nose up at the 'German engineering'.

Later Wakko had whispered to Yakko that Foghorn was a car snob; he really only liked American cars. Wakko appreciated a good car no matter where it was from.

And this Mercedes was apparently amazing; some of these models were actually hand crafted. He would have gone on for hours about the vehicle's speed and luxury additions if Yakko hadn't fallen asleep on him.

Yakko didn't care but had let Wakko have his thrill. Wakko had been halfway excited about the whole thing, and the cars were just the icing on his little cake this weekend.

Yakko could tell his brother had been extraordinarily proud that Foghorn let him do a pre-trip on Mr. Bunny's vehicle. He got to show off in front of his friends - nothing wrong with letting him have his moment in the sun.

Personally, Yakko didn't really care that much about any of the vehicles as long as they ran but was secretly pleased with Bugs' choice. All he knew was that it was big enough to haul all the extra crap Bugs insisted on bringing despite Foghorn bellowing that they weren't going on a month long excursion and he wouldn't even be able to use half the junk in there. And the Mercedes rode well and was built like a tank.

That would be useful; he was still concerned with the phrases 'Bugs at the wheel' and 'mountain roads so rough no choice but to use four wheel drive'.

Bugs. Rough roads. Mountains…they were going to die, horrible violent blinky deaths.

Or he was; he was going to be riding with Bugs.

He cast a longing look to Foghorn's Chevy, wishing he had said he would ride with the rooster. As he had surmised, Foghorn was the only one that had more than a passing knowledge of camping.

Jeeves seemed like he might be the second best informed, but Yakko guessed the man had just read it in a book. He seemed well read and spoken, which was probably the one reason Max didn't sound like more of a wild man than he did.

Yakko looked at the man before biting back another laugh and reaching for Bugs' coffee when the adults' heads were turned. He and Bugs had shown up right after Foghorn and Wakko to Buster's house.

When the Land Cruiser had shown up, Jeeves had stepped out wearing the most ridiculous outfit Yakko had ever seen. Khaki pants, tall boots, white shirt and a black jacket. He looked like he was about to go on a jungle safari - all he needed was a Pith Helmet.

He, Wakko and Buster had all looked, laughed and immediately began to sing 'Hooray for Captain Spaulding'. Yakko could immediately tell how tired he was; he had forgotten several of the words.

To Jeeves' credit, he was able to answer 'Did someone call me schnorrer' in his dry tone, earning him several points in Yakko's book.

It also shut up the unmelodious singing.

Almost snorting into the coffee cup, he looked up and saw the man watching him with an unreadable expression. Yakko froze, the cup still to his lips before the man turned up one side of his mouth in a small smirk. He then turned to look at Foghorn again.

Yakko sighed in relief, thankful for the butler's discretion and quickly took another few sips. He put the cup down just as Bugs reached over for it.

"Weakest coffee ever," the rabbit muttered.

Yakko grinned; it was actually pretty damn strong... He'd have to frequent StarBucks more often.

"Gonna have to call Bugs Leadfoot - "

"Leadfoot!" Bugs sputtered, glaring at Foghorn. "I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in months!"

"It's better than Rommel," Yakko shrugged before grinning at him. At Bugs' glare he smiled sweetly and added, "He did call your rental a German tank."

"Thought you were on my side doc!"

"I'm on the side that's gonna get me through this alive," Yakko muttered.

Bugs sent him a final glare before going back to making snide comments about Foghorn. Yakko reached for his coffee again, hesitating when Bugs turned, then downed the rest of it. He'd be awake for the morning anyway - with him drinking all the coffee he'd probably have to stay awake to keep Bugs awake.

He wondered if he could talk Bugs into letting him drive. He did have a learner's permit now and wasn't too proud to listen to someone tell him something.

"We'll call you the Captain - "

"I am known as Jeeves - "

"Not here you're not," Foghorn said, slapping the man on his back and making him stumble forward a few steps. "You're piloting - I say - you're piloting that there land yacht, you can be the Captain."

"Indeed."

"Bernie - just call you Shakespeare - two talented writers."

"Amazed you know any writers beside Stan Lee," Bugs drawled.

Mr. Bunny looked pleased though.

"Need something for Yakko," Bugs said.

"Perhaps Juan Valdez," Jeeves suggested wryly... "Or Conchita."

"No, really, I'm fine," Yakko said, closing his eyes at Jeeves' less than subtle name choices.

Luckily no one seemed to pick up the jokes because they all looked at him like he was insane before turning back to Yakko. Jeeves seemed to find this particularly amusing.

Yakko didn't - he could just imagine the names they would come up with for him.

"Ladies man," Foghorn said.

_Oh brother. _

"Saw him eyeing the girls on the sidewalk - "

"Girls?" Yakko questioned, turning to Foghorn... "Like plural?"

"Guess he missed the red head in the micro shorts," Bugs said with a shrug.

"And the cat girl."

"There was a redhead and a cat girl? I missed two?"

_Damn, I need more coffee._

Sighing, Mr. Bunny said, "So, are we ready for this?"

"Yeah," Bugs said. "Let's get this show on the road doc."

"Allright, let's round up the kids," Foghorn said, giving Yakko a nudge. "I'll give Wakko the map - give him something to do besides try to crawl out the window or whatever he'd find to entertain himself with."

Yakko closed his eyes.

Wakko - with a map. In the lead truck.

He hoped Foghorn had a real good idea of where they were going or they'd definitely be spending the night in a hotel. Wakko would have them all lost before they left ToonTown.

"You're giving the eleven year old a map?" Bugs asked in a snide tone. "What, not able to read it yourself?"

"I'd give - I say - I'd give it to you, but you'd have all of us end up in Albuquerque. Think you're famous for wrong turns there."

"Oh that's a laugh," Bugs said. "Coming from a guy famous for smacking a dog in the - "

"Watch the language rabbit, got a kid here."

Yakko scowled at Foghorn. This was gonna suck. He was sort of stuck in the middle…again. Not quite an adult, but not one of the younger boys either.

"Perhaps you should continue to insult each other instead of the young man," Jeeves drawled again, attracting attention back to him. "Or better yet, get this expedition under way."

"Agreed," Mr. Bunny said. "It looks like Plucky has been 'it' too long - he's resorted to tossing smoke bombs at the others. I'd rather we get them out of here before they begin to lob lighted bombs. I rather like my yard hole free."

Yakko snorted, mostly amused that this statement was coming from a rabbit, toon or not.

"Fine. Now, Mister Foghorn - "

"Stop that nonsense," Foghorn snapped. "Told ya before, I'm not Mister anything. I ain't no duke or lord or whatever you served over there."

"Yes, well, I can quite agree with that," Jeeves said. "Be that as it may, we are to follow you, correct?" At Foghorn's nod he said, "Fine then. I shall round up my reluctant charges and we shall be underway."

"Uh, right," Foghorn said.

Yakko heard him mutter 'uppity manservant' as the butler walked off and sighed.

He sort of liked Jeeves, not that he knew the man well. But he seemed like a good sort and having to deal with Max and Plucky together he thought the man deserved some sympathy. At least all the other adults only had one reluctant kid to deal with.

"Let's go Ladies Man."

With a sigh at his new handle, Yakko turned to head into the Mercedes, ready to get the weekend over with already. It was going to be worse than he even imagined. Before he figured most everyone would be somewhat optimistic about it.

Bugs and Foghorn - normally the best of friends - seemed to be arguing more than normal. Foghorn seemed to dislike Jeeves for some unfathomable reason. Poor Mr. Bunny seemed stuck in the middle. The younger boys already were rambunctious and the sun had barely risen. He could already hear Max's loud voice complaining about something or another, Plucky's higher voice chiming in with Buster telling everyone to shut up...

He had never envied Dot so much in his entire life. He had sort of wished she was coming, just so she could experience something new. Now he was doubly glad she was staying with the Cunninghams. She'd be safe, have a good time, probably stay clean the entire three days and not have to deal with everyone around her fighting.

He wished he had the same hope for himself.

He felt the car give a small jump as Bugs half stumbled into the driver's seat moaning. Yakko turned to watch him put his empty coffee cup in the holder.

"We're gonna have to stop at some point," Bugs muttered. "Weakest coffee I've ever had. I drank the whole cup and feel like I didn't get more than three sips."

Yakko went back to staring out the windshield.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Early…too early…_

Dot snuggled deeper into the lavender sleeping bag. In the dim early morning light though, it was a muddy looking gray color. So was the material overhead.

Rubbing her eyes briefly, she yawned and crawled out of the material to look outside it, revealing Molly's bedroom that just last night had been their own wilderness adventure. Molly's closet made a good pretend cave.

She turned to see the clock on Molly's nightstand.

_Six-o-seven. They're probably already gone._

With a small sigh she crawled back to her bag and laid on top of it, comfortable and warm. She could get up in a few minutes. She'd have to; she heard Molly giggling and talking in her sleep in the sleeping bag beside her and she was hungry.

Molly loved to be able to use her sleeping bag; she was actually envious of the boys, getting to go sleep in a real tent. She only had the little one that wasn't a real tent to be used outdoors. Her mom was nice enough to let her put up the little 'Pocahontas' tent in her room though so she and Dot could pretend. And she cooked them hotdogs and let them eat the food in Molly's room.

Dot was a little jealous. Once again, the boys got to do something fun and she was being left at home because she was little.

And because she was a girl; Wakko and Buster told her that. They said it was 'boys only'. No dumb girls.

Stupid boys. She bet she could survive out there. She liked being neat and clean, but she could get down in the dirt if she needed to or help out.

The boys hadn't minded her help when she suggested taking all the toilet paper out of the public restrooms on the lot, since they were to dumb to figure it out themselves. Wakko had gotten as far as 'let's toilet paper Bugs' car!' before he went silent. Then they all had sat there and racked their brains on where to get that much toilet paper.

When she had finally screamed the most obvious solution to them, they had said she was 'awesome' and then ran off to raid the restrooms, even having her go in and steal some out of the girls room...

She backed out of actually doing it though; she wasn't stupid. Let the boys get all the glory - and blame - for it.

But now…

She sighed. She hoped they had fun, but she really only half wanted to go. She would honestly rather go to the horse show and stay clean and be able to draw and stuff. She wrinkled her nose at having to use the bathroom in the woods and having to wash in the lake or stream or whatever.

She preferred a bathtub. With lots and lots of bubbles.

"Good morning! Whatcha doin?"

Dot jumped as Molly sat up suddenly, one bow untied from her ear, the other one just missing.

"Just thinking…I'm gonna miss them," Dot sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. "They're gone already."

Yakko had hugged her and Bugs had to practically Fritz a crowbar to remove her from his grasp. She didn't think Yakko really wanted to go. She asked if he wanted to stay at Molly's and go to the horse show too, but he said no, he was the oldest, it was his 'cross to bear because he was the oldest 'doo'.

She had no idea what he had been talking about.

Wakko had hugged her, more reluctantly but it was still a hug. But he was more excited about the whole thing she thought. He had been babbling about putting a winch on Foghorn's truck and doing pretrips and using radios.

She had no idea what he had been talking about either.

"Oh, the stupid boys," Molly scoffed. "It's too bad that Yakko didn't wanna stay here because I think he'd like the show I know I am and I think you will too! And in a little while we're gonna go pick up Webbigail and go and see it! And then Mommy said we might go to the berry farm and she might make up some smores for us she said you don't need a campfire for that the boys will kill themselves with the sticks - "

Dot listened as Molly happily rattled off the itinerary for the entire weekend and her thoughts about everything. That was one thing Dot knew she was annoyed about missing.

Toasted marshmallows.

Yakko hated marshmallows in any form, but she didn't. The more she got the happier she was. Yakko said that sometimes her hot chocolate didn't look like a drink but just a cup full of nasty melted goo.

She didn't care; she'd eat them with the spoon when she ran out of the actual beverage. No bag was safe around her.

The idea of shoving them, half melted into graham crackers, then adding chocolate on top of that…she had practically been singing at the thought. If Ms. Cunningham knew how to make them and not have a fire blazing in her kitchen, she was all for it.

"-and hey, don't worry about those dumb boys," Molly said, scooting closer to her and putting her arm around her. "I know you could stay out there and be OK. They'll probably be scared of every leaf falling on their tent."

Dot nodded, imagining Yakko and Wakko screaming as a squirrel ran past them while they were hiking along.

"I know, I'm just gonna miss them. And I'm worried about them."

"Them?" Molly laughed. "I'm not worried about them; I hope someone warned all the bears they're coming!"

_End Chapter 1_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Out of Their Element

_Gotta be slick…you got good hands…_

Yakko waited until Bugs turned to look out his driver's side window before quickly switching the cups in the holder. Luckily the convenience store they were leaving sold coffee and hot chocolate…and the cups looked exactly the same.

He almost rubbed his hands together in glee - he'd have the whole cup this time. Bugs had never even had the opportunity to get a sip.

"OK, just gotta find the others - "

"Maybe we should have just told them that we were going to stop," Yakko said, picking up his cup and chugging the hot liquid. "Or we can call them; we do have the radio…Leadfoot."

He wrinkled his nose; if he was going to keep nabbing Bugs' coffee, he'd better get used to the cream. And it wasn't even real cream - the rabbit had grabbed Cremora.

Cream in the coffee was bad enough. Non-dairy creamer was even worse.

"Can it Ladies Man; I'm not using that thing," Bugs said, glancing down toward the floorboard on Yakko's side where the radio was currently sitting. "I got a phone if I need to call that maroon. And I'm not letting that loud-mouth dictate this trip - I'll stop when I want."

"No, that would make too much sense," Yakko shrugged while snickering into the cup. "After all, he is the one that knows where he's going."

"I can read a map too," Bugs muttered. "No need for him to toss his considerable weight around. Who does he think he is?"

Leaning back in his seat, Yakko stretched before taking another quick swallow of the coffee. Putting the cup back in the holder he leaned back in the seat, enjoying the warm pleasant feeling the coffee was giving him and the knowledge he just drank half of the rabbit's coffee before they even got back on I-5. Satisfied he began to list off reasons for Bugs to actually listen to Foghorn.

"Oh, well, he's the guy that's done this before. Everything from setting up tents to getting attacked by bees. He was the only one smart enough to know that it was going to be colder where we're going and had everyone bring coats. And he'll probably assure that none of us leaves the woods too traumatized - "

"Hey! I know what I'm doing."

"That's why you're doing fifteen miles over the speed limit?" Yakko asked, pointing to the speedometer and grinning at Bugs' glare.

"Little rule spouter ain't ya?" Bugs said before yawning.

"Ya know," Yakko said. "You look tired - "

_Can't imagine why._

" - and I do have my permit, remember? You could let me drive; I need the practice and I do have another licensed driver in the vehicle. Even with your past record, you still count."

"No way I'm letting you drive a hundred-thirty-thousand dollar vehicle," Bugs snorted. "I'm scared to drive it myself. You got the permit doc but you ain't there yet. And my record ain't the issue. Let the experts worry about driving - you just sit there and relax. I know I can keep up with loud mouth up there any day of the week."

_Expert huh?_

Yakko scowled; he had been hoping Bugs would let him drive, but with the cost of the vehicle, he didn't blame the rabbit.

Still though…

Deciding a little more childish revenge besides the coffee thievery was in order, Yakko smirked and reached down between the seat and the center consol of the vehicle as clandestinely as he could. He felt around for a moment on the thick carpeting before finding what he was looking for.

The handmic for the CB.

The little boys had been playing on it earlier, trading quips and insults. Either they had grown bored or the respective adult in the vehicle took it away from them because it had been silent for almost an hour.

With a grin, he leaned up just enough so the mic would hopefully pick up what the rabbit was saying and pressed the button in. No sense in just him enjoying the show.

" - and I know I'll go out here and prove him wrong. I read that book cover to cover…mostly. I hit the important things anyway doc, so we don't have a thing to worry about. We'll have our tent set up and be sitting back roasting carrots before Rhode Island Runner up there even gets his truck unpacked because he'll be too busy running his big mouth."

"Is that a fact?" Yakko drawled, biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt to stop laughing. "So it's like a contest…but I don't remember mention of a contest."

"No contest - well, not really…oh I'd bet him that though, if he'd accept. Who does he think he is? I know I can survive out here and I've never backed down from a dare. It's not gonna be any problem Yakko, you'll see!"

"Good to know, good to know," Yakko said, shaking his head quickly and hoping it was convincing enough that Bugs couldn't tell he was almost choking from holding laughter in. "I just knew you weren't a city slicker at heart; a real man's hare and all that."

"And his snide little comments about this truck - it's a darn good truck! Best on the lot from what I was told! Will go through anything, look good doing it, and be comfortable to boot!"

"I know, I was there," Yakko said. "How about this whole 'four wheel drive' thing? You learned all about that right?"

"Oh yeah doc sure," Bugs said, waving him off. "I looked at the manual…think it's still in the glove box - "

_Think?_

Yakko cast a slightly worried glance at the glove box. He was now doubly glad he was holding the mic down; not only was he going to get a few laughs out of it, everyone now knew the danger he was in. Hopefully someone would rescue him from the rabbit.

" - and anyway, how hard can it be? Stuck in the mud, hit the button, just take off out of there!"

"It's not a tank Bugs - "

"Guzzles gas like one. Just gotta remember can't damage it."

Deciding he had set things in motion enough, he unkeyed the mic while Bugs continued to rant. Yakko hesitated a moment before frowning - he would have sworn someone would say something. He glanced down at the radio as much as he was able - did he do it wrong? There was only one stupid button and -

"That car - I say - that car was a write-off the moment you sat your furry hide behind the wheel!"

Yakko smiled sweetly at Bugs' stunned gasp as the familiar voice came booming through the truck.

_Mission accomplished. _

"I think Rhode Island Runner wants to say something…da-doo," Yakko said, leaning back in the seat and taking another long swallow of the coffee. "Wanna answer him?"

"Now how did - "

"You got something - I say - you got something to say back there Leadfoot?"

Yakko turned, eyebrows raised and grin firmly in place as Bugs finally turned to look at him, his face showing shock before suspicion.

"You pressed the mic down on me?"

"Ehhhhh…whoops…must have hit it with my foot," Yakko said, quickly unhanding the mic and letting it fall back to the floor silently. "What's wrong? Not afraid of a little challenge?"

"From him?" Bugs snorted. "Please; I feel more threatened when Mr. Rodger's sings about being my neighbor. Gimme that mic!"

Laughing, Yakko held out the mic, laughing harder when the rabbit snatched it from him with a muttered, 'my foot my ass'. On the radio, Yakko could hear Foghorn talking, presumably to the laughing Wakko.

Yakko smirked; Foghorn had dared Bugs to go; now he was practically daring him to make a challenge. And Bugs was falling for it. Yakko collapsed into a laughing fit; Foghorn was talking about how certain rabbits talked a big game but turned tail at the first sign of trouble. They better keep a lookout for a hotel to drop Bugs off at.

"Listen here Chicken Little," Bugs said when the radio finally went silent. "I've never backed down from a challenge from you yet."

"That right Leadfoot? Bet you won't get that itty-bitty pup tent set up before we get ours done. And ours - I say - and ours is twice as big and arduous. Heavy that is."

"Don't use words you can't spell," Bugs laughed. "And I'll show you arduous - I bet I'll get ours set up - before you."

_Oh damn._

"Deal. Loser does dishes."

_Oh double damn_.

Yakko winded as he heard Bugs say 'deal'. Him and his stupid pranks - he hadn't meant to make extra work…for himself anyway.

"Now hold on," Yakko said, yanking the mic out of Bugs' hand and depressing the button. "Don't drag me into your little game - I do dishes enough at home."

"Part of camping boy," Foghorn said back.

Bugs, smirking, snatched the mic back from Yakko's startled hand.

"We'll keep the kids out of it tonight. I get my tent up first, you do dishes."

"That's fine Leadfoot, that's fine. I'd say make it a bet for all three days, but then I'd have to listen to you whine about your dishpan hands. By the way, where are you? Don't see ya - keep looking out for ya but ya ain't nowhere to be seen! Simple task Leadfoot - follow the Land Cruiser! You so full of hot air you just floated away didn't ya?"

With a 'humph' Bugs' handed the mic back to Yakko as Foghorn died off. Unfortunately the chatter on the radio got the younger boys going again, and within minutes Yakko could head Wakko talking, Buster joining in sporadically to answer him. Even Plucky jumped in once or twice. Max was apparently on protest because nothing was heard from him. Mr. Bunny chimed in now and then, mostly asking them to calm down some. Wakko started talking to a trucker on the channel for a few minutes before it went silent again.

"You better thank me," Bugs said. "I'm well aware that you pressed that mic."

"Moi?" Yakko asked, playfully putting his hand on his chest. "I did no such thing."

"Right, and I'm not gray." Wagging a finger at him he added, "Don't try to pull one over on the master doc; you won't win."

_The master huh?_

_Right._

Yakko smirked as he watched Bugs pick up his cup of what he thought was coffee and take several sips.

"This coffee tastes funny," Bugs said after swishing the liquid around in his mouth briefly. "Kinda like watery chocolate or something."

Chuckling, Yakko turned to look back out the window. Bugs was so groggy and irritated he couldn't even figure out that Yakko had switched his cup. Again.

Bugs turned the conversation back to other subjects, speaking of his younger days and joking about things he and Foghorn had done - half of them no doubt illegal in several states - and Yakko settled back in the seat, clutching his pilfered coffee.

Bugs seemed to be calming down; maybe chocolate had a calming effect on rabbits. He hadn't felt much guilt before about nabbing his coffee but now Yakko felt even less guilt. He was doing the rabbit a favor.

And he and Foghorn were just doing a friendly game of one-up-manship. No harm in that; with their personalities it was hardly surprising.

Taking a sip of his coffee while Bugs grimaced and took another swallow of his own, Yakko gave a contented sigh.

Maybe this wasn't going to suck…as much as previously thought. Maybe this was just the break he needed. Maybe everyone was just groggy and cranky when they first met at the house. A chance to wake up and plenty of coffee - for everyone but Bugs - had seemed to help out.

The last month had been rough. With Goose's death he had thrown himself into his schoolwork and music since it had been a welcome distraction. Along with Wakko and Dot - plenty of time spent playing and doing things with them helped as well. Now, a weekend 'away from it all'.

Bugs seemed genuinely pleased he had come along, no matter how grudgingly it was originally. Yakko almost felt a little guilty - Bugs had played him yes - he was still annoyed with the guilt trip he threw on him. But he had asked him, in a round about way. The rabbit wanted to do something with him.

XXXXXXXXXX

"_You boys - I say - you boys got problems back there?"_

"_Yeah Rhode Island Runner I got a problem…Bugs is at the wheel."_

"_Better me than you - I've had my license for - "_

"_I've never been behind the wheel and I know I'm safer - "_

"_Will you unkey that mic please?"_

Montana looked in the direction of the radio, where after sounds of a brief scuffle the radio went silent. Then the Mime started talking, Foghorn in the background; Buster the 'All-Star' answering a few times before it went silent again.

Yakko was obviously having a smashing time with the radio and setting Bugs up to be pounced on by Foghorn at any given time. Montana was secretly thankful for it; most times it was amusing, one of the only amusing things about the entire drive.

He knew Yakko being along would be a hoot and they had not even arrived at wherever the hell they were going. He actually couldn't wait to see a tent-raising race between the rabbit and the rooster. And through Yakko's intervention, no one had to worry about doing the dishes.

Not that he would have anyway; he had never washed a dish in his life and he had no intention of doing so.

He turned as Yakko drawled something about him being in Bugs' party - now to be known as the 'Donner Party' and smirked. Unfortunately, with his attention on the radio, Plucky used that as his opportunity to beat Max at the game.

He turned and watched his character die - again. After almost three hours the game had grown boring, mostly because Plucky was continuously kicking his ass.

And he now owed the smirking duck five dollars. He made a mental note to never bet against Plucky again. It just wasn't a prudent way to keep his money. Plucky had a talent for sitting down and immediately finding ways for beating the game, or at least whatever opponent he was currently playing.

Damn nerd.

Montana tossed the controller to the floor, bored and annoyed.

"Can't handle the heat?" Plucky asked, not taking his eyes off the screen as he started a single player game.

Ignoring him, Montana leaned forward in the seat to talk to Jeeves, mostly to pump him for more information. The man had attempted conversation earlier but had fallen silent, concentrating on driving and occasionally giving out a quiet chuckle at something said on the radio.

Montana had been trying to avoid conversation with him simply because they seemed to be arguing more. Or he was; Jeeves was his usual witty self meaning he wasn't rising to the challenge and was just making him mad.

Montana honestly thought if he annoyed him enough he would threaten to 'turn this vehicle around'. It used to be a valid threat; he supposed this time it would be seen as a reward.

Even the constant annoying refrain of 'are we there yet?' hadn't worked like it usually did; Jeeves had pulled a pair of earmuffs out of his Hammerspace and had worn them until they disappeared.

Tapping Jeeves' shoulder, Montana asked, "Will you please tell me that this is all some big gag and we're really going to a resort or something?"

"Fine Master Montana; I am really driving to _Côte d'Azur_. This is really an amphibious vehicle - it is all very James Bond like. It will simply turn into a yacht and we will float across the oceans on our way to that jewel of the Mediterranean. Perhaps we shall arrive in time for the Cannes Film Festival."

"Ha ha Jeeves," Max muttered. "That droll sense of humor of yours shining through again."

"Master Montana," Jeeves sighed. "This is not a joke. We are going camping. We shall be 'roughing it' in the woods for three days with our traveling companions. I believe this will be - "

"A learning experience," Montana said with him, snorting when he heard Plucky say the same thing from the seat behind him.

"You're too predictable Jeeves, you need to come up with a new catchphrase," Plucky said.

Montana watched as Plucky almost fell out of the seat with glee. Apparently the dipshit beat whatever level he was on because he immediately crawled back into the upright position, his eyes never leaving the screen. Montana rolled his eyes; he liked video games too, but Plucky…the duck was going to kill himself in a fit of sixteen-bit ecstasy.

"See Jeeves - even he knows it and he doesn't live with us," Montana said, smacking his shoulder. "Imagine how tired I am of it. And that road to manhood nonsense - be good enough to drop that as well would you?"

"As often as he is there, he may as well take up residence at the house," Jeeves answered, glancing over his shoulder at him briefly. "And I stand by my statement. This will be a learning experience for you."

Montana rolled his eyes. He really couldn't teach an old butler new tricks.

"You will get the opportunity to see that the world does not revolve around you - "

"Of course it does."

" - the newest release from Sega or lounging about at the local mall," Jeeves explained patiently. "You will learn camaraderie and teamwork - "

"I was on a show for six seasons constantly playing a moron that got bested by a pair of pastel rabbits," Montana scoffed. "I think I understand the concept behind camaraderie and teamwork - "

"But then you were doing something you wished to do - "

"Not necessarily," Montana said. "Do you recall that rap I had to perform in 'Gang-Busters'? Trust me, I will never live that down."

"And you sucked at it," Plucky said from the back seat. "When you make Vanilla Ice look street, you know you suck."

Montana, not even turning, reached out and hit Plucky, feeling a smirk grace his face when he heard the duck howl in pain. He hadn't been that bad…

OK, fine, he sucked. It was still better than Plucky's stupid BatDuck parody.

"And Master Montana, you do not always get to do what you wish to do, something you should have learned long ago, " Jeeves said calmly. "Not to mention your friends invited you to go - "

_Those assholes._

" - and the proper thing to do is acquiesce to their request."

"They invited you," Montana pointed out. "You bullied me."

"You may develop a new interest - "

"I have plenty of interests," Montana answered. "Right now my newest one is hand to hand combat. Then I would be able to overpower you - "

"Unlikely child."

"- commandeer this vehicle and get the hell out of this," Montana said, choosing to ignore Jeeves' comment.

He wasn't that bad a fighter; hell, he kicked Tank's ass.

Not that it was anything to brag about. Tank was bigger than most of the other kids, like Plucky or the girls, but if he was trying to fight anyone near his own size, he was no match. He had no control or stamina and he wasn't fast. Quick thinking wasn't one of his strong points and to top it off, when all was said and done, he was a crybaby.

Montana smirked; finally getting to punch him in the beak had been a simply marvelous feeling even if it did bloody his knuckles. In an odd way, he actually felt like he got some revenge on the duck for all his 'Max is fat' comments from their youth.

Jeeves said revenge left a bad taste in his mouth. Montana disagreed; he had thought it tasted quite delicious and wouldn't mind a second helping at some point.

He glanced over at Jeeves; he could talk a big game, but there was no way he could actually beat the butler. He would more than likely get his own ass soundly kicked. This weekend was going to be enough of a nightmare without having to 'rough it' with Jeeves' foot up his ass.

"I have taught you basic self defense," Jeeves said. "I have told you I would be willing to continue teaching you - "

"Shit, what'd you learn?" Plucky breathed, finally removing his eyes from the screen long enough to look at Montana.

"Some Jujutsu shit," Montana said with a shrug, disinterested and looking back out the windshield.

They were still passing the occasional farm though they were becoming fewer and more spaced out as the mountains loomed as dark and foreboding as Mordor in the distance. Squinting he could see people - mostly migrant labor - toiling in the fields on the side of the road, picking spinach and tomatoes and other crops.

Plucky had made a rude crack earlier about it being the perfect place to hire a gardener or housekeeper. He had quickly muttered an apology when subjected to a glare from Montana and a few choice words from Jeeves about the inappropriateness of his thinking.

When he had muttered something later about the foreigners only being good for picking side dishes, Jeeves has brusquely asked if he was to be included in that statement. After that less than subtle reprimand Plucky had gone silent for an hour.

Montana sighed. He really wished he could gag the duck - or better yet his parents. They were the ones responsible for it. But Montana had hope; Plucky was doing better, but he wasn't there yet.

But he was at least keeping a large portion of his comments to himself, which was excellent. He really didn't feel like beating up his friend again, and this time there was no Mime and Blue Boy to stop him. And the foreigner comment, while not aimed at Jeeves, had annoyed Montana Jeeves could have left his stupid ass at home, he could try to at least act grateful and be a bit more choosy with his words.

Would have been nice if he had left them all at home. Montana sent a glare to the Jeep Cherokee they were following. Buster and his father hadn't been heard on the radio in awhile; they were probably up there having some wild conversation. The younger Bunny, while not thrilled, had seemed like he had given up any further arguments and was resigned to going along with this nonsense.

"Take the pebble from my hand Grasshopper and you will have learned," Plucky said, breaking into Montana's thoughts and holding the game controller out to him.

"Not Kung-Fu idiot. Jujutsu - in case anyone tries to grab me," Montana said, barely turning to look at him. "I am rich you know. Lucrative target."

"I know, I know, you keep telling me," Plucky muttered. Then screaming happily he declared, "Jeeves is like your Alfred, a fighting butler!"

"I learned defense, and Alfred is old as hell," Montana said, staring at Plucky before shaking his head and returning to looking out the window. "Good God man, have you taken your medicine yet?"

"Gotcha!"

Montana let out a yell as he fell backwards onto the giant rear seat, hitting his chin on the rear of Jeeves' seat.

The damn duck had launched himself at him. Montana wasn't sure what he was more surprised about; the fact that the duck just attacked him or the fact that he relinquished his game controller without having it pried from his hands.

"Come on! Come on! Fight me Grasshopper beat me up!"

"Don't tempt me," Montana snapped, using his leg to toss Plucky off him. "And save the Grasshopper comments Plucky - don't forget - you're the green one here."

"Please refrain from the roughhousing," Jeeves said as Plucky bounced off his seat. "I am still piloting this vehicle."

"And a fine job you are doing, Captain," Montana said sarcastically as he returned to leaning on the back of his seat. "Though we're still heading in the wrong direction - home is the other way."

He smirked at Jeeves' sigh. If he was making him go along, he would make him regret it.

Looking through the windshield, Montana saw several signs for resorts and felt his hope soar some. Maybe the whole thing was a gag and they were really going skiing?

Skiing season was at an end, and he didn't ski anyway. He had no more desire to ski than camp.

"Jeeves, come on, let's turn around, please?" He asked anxiously as Jeeves, still following the Jeep off Highway 99, went down what appeared to be the main drag of one of the dinkiest looking towns Montana had ever seen, on or off the television.

"It was agreed by the others that we would be stopping at this establishment for lunch. It has come heartedly approved by Mister Foghorn."

"That's one reason not to stop there!"

"Hush Master Montana; we have arrived."

"Where? Hell?" Montana demanded while looking out the windshield.

He had never really wondered what 'Dogpatch' would look like before. Now he found he would never have a need to because the Southern Fried Idiot up in the lead truck had brought them right to it.

"No young sir, Kingsburg."

"Same thing," Montana said, starting out the window in shock.

It wasn't even a city…it was a bloody village. The most happening place on the entire main street seemed to be the Denny's down the block. The next community gathering spot appeared to be the 'Pub and Sub'.

He barely turned when Bugs' Mercedes parked beside them. The rabbit was behind the wheel with a scowl on his face while the oldest Warner looked like he was about to wet himself he was laughing so hard.

If he wasn't in such a foul mood, Montana might have asked him what he was laughing about now. So far the entire escapade had been nothing but one big joke for Yakko as far as he could tell. If he was having that good a time than damn it he should tell the rest of the party about it. If they all had to share in the experience, that should include the laughs as well.

They were in the parking lot of 'Caty's Country Kitchen', an establishment so ratty looking he was hesitant to step foot in the parking lot. Looking in through the window, he could see a woman with hair the about the same consistency of a Brillo pad clearing off a table, piling dirty dishes and napkins in a plastic tub.

He clutched the back of the seat.

"Come boys, let us - "

"Hell no Jeeves, I'm not eating there," Montana said. "I'll eat anywhere but there. I would even agree to try the Denny's and I've heard about that hillbilly haven."

"The house rules still apply here Master Montana," Jeeves said, turning to him with a slight frown. "You must first try something before you can decide you do not care for it."

"Remember my rule Jeeves; the eatery has to look halfway sanitary for me to consider eating in it. This place looks like a primitive lean-to."

"Looks all right to me," Plucky said, finally breaking eye contact with the screen above him long enough to look around. "I'm hungry anyway."

"Thanks for sticking up for me," Montana sniffed, annoyed. "Pipe down and we might yet get out of this."

"Very well Master Montana," Jeeves said, opening his door.

Montana watched, mostly in shock, and wondered where he was going. Worse, Plucky was getting out the door on his side.

"Where are you going?"

"I fully intend on eating," Jeeves said, pausing to look in the vehicle to speak to him. "You are welcome to remain here while we do so. I will of course give everyone your regrets in not attending. They are well acquainted with you and will no doubt understand you are sulking in the vehicle."

Montana gaped at him momentarily. Normally Jeeves would make a concession, offer to take him somewhere different, anything.

"Unfortunately we will not have time to stop again for you to choose an establishment more to your liking," Jeeves continued. "The next time we will be eating is after we have found a camp spot for the evening. I expect it will make you that much more in a hurry to arrive, if you are hungry."

With that statement the butler closed the door and began walking toward the group that was forming in the parking lot. He paused to speak to Mr. Bunny while Buster and Wakko chased each other around, Plucky leaning against the car with his arms crossed.

As he expected, the Mime looked like he was having the time of his life and the bunny didn't exactly look like he was undergoing any undo stress either. He sent them a glare; at least Plucky was out only because he was hungry. Those two looked like this was just another part of the grand adventure for them and he didn't bother to hide his annoyance.

Montana rolled his eyes but stepped out of the vehicle. Jeeves probably would make him sound like a huge baby that didn't get his way because he didn't want to eat in this hovel.

Besides, the threat of not eating again and Yakko's off the cuff 'Donner Party' comment was enough to make him decide he might be wise to eat now, hovel or not. With the way things were going it might be awhile until he got a decent meal.

He still sent a nasty glare at Jeeves though; that was the last time he tried to talk to him on this little trip.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Silly bunny took to my bait like a bass on a night crawler!"

Wakko turned from looking out the window to watch Foghorn hoot and laugh, pounding the steering wheel for a moment in glee.

"That hare - I say - that hare doesn't know what he's in for! Yep, you and me will be sitting back watching him get tangled in his own tent."

Laughing, Wakko said, "Yeah, but Yakko's gonna be - "

"That boy's smart enough to stay out of the way when Bugs gets like this," Foghorn said, shaking his head. "Bugs won't admit when he's licked. Bunny's never been out of a city in his life."

Wakko agreed as Foghorn continued to laugh about Bugs but was slightly worried about Yakko. Not that Yakko had given any indication he was worried. Yakko appeared to be having a good time just watching everyone get on the rabbit.

Of course he was helping; Yakko quietly admitted to him at lunch that he was holding the mic down whenever Bugs went into a tangent so everyone could hear him.

Wakko thought it was funny. Yakko was creative; he wouldn't ever resort to some of their pranks, like smoke bombs in the toilets or TPing a car. Yakko was older too, Bugs and all the adults always said he was way too mature to do that sort of stuff.

Wakko had to wonder sometimes though. His brother wasn't above playing a prank even if he did act mature most times. And sometimes, around the lot there had been other pranks pulled that Wakko knew he and his friends didn't do.

They still got blamed for them though.

But seeing Yakko play like that, even if it was just with the radio, was nice. He wasn't that much older, he should play too.

And Yakko had been upset the last month, since Goose died. He was getting better now and hadn't yelled at him again, but Wakko was happy just to see his brother laughing like he used to prior to her death. After the service he had started to go back to his normal self, but still seemed 'off'. Just today though he seemed a lot more like normal.

Plus he got his permit; he was gonna be driving soon. He knew that made Yakko happy; he couldn't wait until it was his turn. That was gonna be forever.

Besides, it was fun to prank Bugs. The rabbit was known as the biggest prankster around and laughing at him seemed to be easing some of the tensions in the group.

Just some; Monty still seemed to be in a foul mood…which meant Monty was in pretty much the same mood he always was. But normally he didn't complain quiet as much as he had been doing. A lot of times, when Monty was complaining and moaning about something he was just doing it to run his mouth.

Plucky was the same way. Usually they were funny and he and Buster both liked to listen to it; then they could bug them. Then Plucky or Max would want to mouth back - it was a fun game they had played for years - who could get on each other's nerves the most.

This time was different. Plucky hadn't complained as much as Wakko thought he would, but he still seemed moody and Max…

Monty was going beyond his usual moaning and sarcastic comments. For most of lunch he had been nasty to the point Wakko had tried to avoid him, something he rarely did with the other boy. Max was his friend, one of his first; he'd do anything for him but he almost seemed like he was trying to alienate everyone around him.

Wakko wished he'd stop. Or that Jeeves would give up and turn around; he was kinda being a drag and they hadn't even done anything yet.

It hadn't been too bad so far, he was having a decent time talking to Foghorn and playing on the radio. He was getting tired of riding though. All that was around there were farms, big boring industrial farms with giant sprinklers running over the fields.

He sort of wished they were passing the ones with people out in the fields again; it gave him something to think about like were they hot? Bored? Did they like doing it? Did they get paid a lot of money? Did they like the food they were helping to pick? Did they get to take any of it home and eat it?

And with Monty and Plucky complaining, he was torn on saying he was having a good time, sort of. He didn't want to upset them; they were already miserable enough and he was getting pissed enough with the 'Gear Head' thing since that's all they had called him at lunch.

But, he didn't want Foghorn or anyone to think he was being ungrateful. The adults had set this up as a fun weekend for everyone, to try to be nice. Wakko figured everyone could at least pretend to be having some sort of fun, even if secretly they weren't.

He sighed, wishing he was more like Yakko. His brother didn't care if anyone knew he was having a good time. He apparently was and could care less that Max and Plucky had tried to give him a hard time about it. Yakko was a lot better at being 'strong' than he was though. He had said before he wasn't a sheep and no way would he follow what someone else was doing, even if that person wanted to pick on him.

And to top it off, he seemed to be taking a particular thrill in his new name. He said since he was a 'Ladies Man' he was going to go off and find some of those 'farmer's daughters' he had heard about and test out his skills.

Bugs had dragged him back by his arm. Yakko said he saw a little blond he was interested in sharing his tent with. Bugs had smacked him on the back of his head. Not hard but he could tell Yakko was annoyed.

Monty seemed to forget he was trying to be an asshole now and then and almost appeared to have a good time. Like in the restaurant; he had originally been snide and condescending going in, but had finally admitted he liked the food, albeit grudgingly.

His current complaint when they had left was that he was trying to get Jeeves to agree to stay in a hotel. The butler didn't seem real interested in the idea though much to Monty's annoyance.

Foghorn was though; he had seen a brochure for a few different hotels and resorts. He had pointed them out to Bugs, telling him he could just give up now and pack it in.

Bugs had made a smart comment and passed them by but Foghorn had grabbed one anyway and handed it to Yakko, telling him when the rabbit finally cracked to give it to him.

Plucky had happily babbled about the video game for the most part. Wakko guessed it was a really good game; he practically talked his and Buster's ears off. The bunny had finally told him to be quiet about it.

He hadn't though and Buster just moaned that he was ruining it for him before he even got to play. But he had still looked like he was making an attempt at listening to the duck.

Wakko actually felt a bit sorry for Plucky. Monty was his friend, but if he was in a foul mood he guessed he wasn't pleasant company. The duck had muttered something about feeling like 'the odd one out' before talking about the game again.

Unlike Buster, Wakko had just let him talk. It was easier and seemed to make Plucky feel better. The normally brash and egotistical Plucky had seemed uncomfortable since they had left Buster's house, barely talking on the radio or in the car from what Monty said.

In between his complaints and insults of course.

At least Buster seemed to be having a decent time. The rabbit had been moody about the whole thing at first, not as dead set against it as Monty, but displeased about being dragged out into the woods. At lunch though, before the adults had herded everyone back in the cars he had told Wakko spending time with his father, not distracted by television and lounging around or sleeping was turning out to be surprisingly nice.

And he said something was wrong with his throat; he said it felt funny and he muttered he didn't feel like talking much. Wakko had nodded but not before hearing his friend's voice jump back and forth - much like Monty's had awhile ago.

Wakko knew it sounded funny, but he was kinda hurt that Buster didn't want to talk to him because of it. It wasn't a big surprise, they all knew it was gonna be their turn, sooner or later. He hoped the rabbit didn't plan on not talking to him until it steadied out like Max's did. Wakko would even promise to try and not laugh much.

"We're about fifteen miles outside of Fresno, right boy? Son - pay attention when I speak to you boy!"

"Right Foghorn," Wakko said, glancing at the map unfolded in his lap.

He was actually quite proud of that. When he got in the truck Foghorn told him he knew the way there; he'd been there before. But he also said he wanted Wakko to make sure to keep them on course in case he forgot.

Wakko had gladly accepted the role of navigator even if his map reading skills weren't up to par. It was good Foghorn really did know where they were going; if he had turned a few times when Wakko told him to they would be on their way to Oregon. But Foghorn was teaching him how to read the map so hopefully they'd get back home OK.

"Gotta come back up here in a few weeks."

"Why - you wanna go camping again?" Wakko asked.

"Maybe…wanna check on a few cars and trucks I heard about - "

"You want a different truck?"

"Nah boy, I ain't replacing this thing - you gone crazy?"

Yeah, that was probably a stupid question. Foghorn was so into his truck he sometimes talked to it. He wouldn't get rid of it.

"So like a parts car? For this?" Wakko asked, tapping the seat.

"Nah boy, old cars, few of them are hard to find. One I got my eye on - been sitting in a field for a long while, gonna need a lot of work." He sighed and rolled his eyes before saying, "Like several years worth of work - "

"Why get that car then?" Wakko asked, laughing and wrinkling his nose. "It's junk!"

They were too. He had seen lots of them, sitting off in fields or near tree lines, rusted out frames or shells that had been neglected and forgotten about for years. They had been talking about them earlier; some, like the old Cameros and Chargers he recognized. Others Foghorn had to tell him what they were. Some Foghorn said he had no idea what they might have once been.

Foghorn liked nice cars - why would he want some old piece of junk?

"Not junk boy - project cars! You fix them up! Those old cars you see at those shows we go to - you think they just rolled off a factory floor?"

"Well, no - "

"Course they didn't - they haven't made a Tucker in forty years but we saw one a few months back didn't we!"

"Yeah, I - "

"Use your head boy!"

"But I just said - "

"No - somebody - I say - somebody put a lot of time and effort and searching for parts into those cars, making them look like new!"

"I know, I didn't mean - "

Foghorn kept talking and Wakko shot him an annoyed glance. Secretly, he adored Foghorn; he was a lot of fun and he had learned lots of stuff from him. Cool stuff too, not that stupid stuff Flemeil taught him like diagramming a sentence and other useless junk.

And he had said if Wakko ever had a problem and he didn't want to go to Yakko for whatever reason, he could come to him. Wakko appreciated that even if he couldn't imagine not going to Yakko for some reason.

He really liked Foghorn; he didn't usually treat him like a little kid…most of the time. But sometimes, Foghorn didn't listen well. He'd talk right over him. But he did that to everyone.

" - but shown a little loving care they can be things of beauty. Fixed up that is. It's a lot of hard work - I say - it's a lot of hard work, though, rebuilding a car from the ground up."

"Like what?" Wakko asked, interested.

"Oh, gotta find the right car first – it's gotta speak to you, make ya wanna fix it."

Wakko rolled his eyes; Foghorn was gonna get weird again. He'd get all excited about some car project then get this dreamy look in his eye and go off in his own little world talking about showing the car love and taking care of it and stuff.

"Couple cars, a few different trucks in the area. Have to look and see which one I like - and if it's even reparable."

"But what do you have to do?"

"Everything - you gotta sand blast it, get all the old paint and dirt off, right down to the bare metal. Figure out what ya can salvage, rebuild the engine and rear end, new interior…" He stopped his musings and cut his eyes to Wakko. "Lots of stuff. Learn a lot though, remaking an old car like that. Might be nice to have help this time with the whole thing."

Wakko waited, holding his breath and hoping he'd ask him if he'd want to help sometime. He did, even if it was an old car.

He knew Foghorn always had little side projects going on. Wakko frequently helped him but he had never seen the rooster totally rebuild a car, not from the ground up.

"You can come back up with me, you want to," Foghorn said. "Help me pick out which one to get. Ask that Lady-Killer of a brother of yours. Probably come up in two weeks - "

"OK!" Wakko yelped, excited and starting to reach for the radio.

He hesitated though; if he said he wanted to come back up with Foghorn Yakko would let him. Yakko had never not let him go, unless he was in trouble for something. But Yakko would ask why; mostly because he was curious; he said he was 'staying involved'.

He didn't want to say why over the radio. If he did, the others would hear. Then they'd start laughing at him again.

"I'll ask him later, when we stop," Wakko said, nodding and hoping Foghorn didn't ask him why he wasn't saying something now.

Foghorn told him again there was nothing wrong in knowing how a car worked or liking them. He said it was a good skill and showed Wakko had a good mechanical mind and between that and the music stuff he would probably have girls crawling over him at some point.

Wakko wasn't real sure how he felt about that. He didn't know if he wanted them 'crawling all over him'. Maybe liking him would be nice, but not actually on him. That was more Yakko's thing. The tighter a girl wrapped herself around him the happier he was.

"That's fine - hold on boy," Foghorn said, reaching up to grab the CB mic. "Hey gentleman…and Leadfoot-"

Wakko started snickering and looked out the window; ahead there was a black and white cop car on the shoulder. In front of it was an eighteen-wheeler with three bright orange triangles set out behind him down the shoulder.

" - pull over to the other lane; panda bear's got a customer."

"_Panda Bear? You see a bear Yakko? What the hell's he talking about now? We're not in ToonTown! Does he even know what continent he's on? What would a panda bear be doing out here?"_

Wakko started laughing at Bugs. His brother was holding the mic down on him again.

"_I don't know, maybe he's selling Chop Suey."_

That was Yakko. Wakko laughed harder at his brother's drawling comment. He was definitely in a better mood.

Glancing over Wakko could see Foghorn still holding the mic and just shaking his head. Bugs was going to be frazzled before they even got to camp.

"_What are you…If you're holding that mic down again I swear I'm gonna - "_

The radio went silent at the beginning of Bugs' threat before Max's voice came on, a bored annoyed tone that was close to being disrespectful it was so condescending.

"_A panda bear is a California Highway Patrol officer. A customer is the pulled over person, in this case a break down."_

"Good boy! See rabbit – even the kid knows that," Foghorn yelled into the mic. "Bet you know all about being pulled over too. Whatcha think - I say - whatcha think that officer's saying Leadfoot? You're the expert 'round here on that subject anyway."

"_Damn know it all - Yakko! Unkey the mic!"_

"Stay over - I say - stay over if ya want Leadfoot - trying to warn ya! You wanna add another ticket to your collection you go right ahead."

"_Cram it Motor Mouth, I'm not in the mood - how much further we got?"_

Foghorn handed the mic to Wakko.

"Talk to him son - he's giving me a headache."

"We're coming up on Fresno," Wakko said, happy he sounded like he knew what he was talking about. "And, uh, probably forty minutes after that we'll be in the Sierra Nevada."

"_Thanks Wak."_

Wakko grinned at hearing his brother's voice and handed the microphone back to Foghorn. As he did though Max's voice shot out, saying he hoped the 'Gear Head' was right and he was actually reading the map since he was probably up there babbling about some stupid car again.

Annoyed at the comment and happy he had decided to not ask Yakko about going to look at cars over the radio, he slumped back in his seat. If he heard one more comment about it he was probably going to hit Max or say something really nasty to him.

One of these days Max would probably need someone to tell him what was going on with a car, a question answered or something and he wouldn't tell him. No, he'd let him figure it out on his own. Max was the one with all the money, let him pay someone outrageous amounts of it to tell him something simple and he'd look like an idiot.

Foghorn raised an eyebrow at him and asked, "You getting as tired of hearing that as I am of hearing Bugs moan and run his mouth?"

Sighing, Wakko nodded and said, "Yeah, but it's Max; what can you do really? It's just the way he is. Besides, I'm used to it now."

XXXXXXXXXX

"_Hey Leadfoot, might wanna slow down unless you're itching to pass us and get lost in these hills."_

"_One more comment out of you Foghorn I'm gonna ram this Mercedes down that big beak of yours! How about actually moving at something close to the speed limit doc?"_

"_Fine, go right ahead, Long Ears. Remember the trails up there aren't marked - usually folks that go up there are smart enough to check in with the rangers, even the experienced ones. You go on; call when you get lost. Oh, remember the radio - I say - remember the radio, ain't long range. You get lost…well, hopefully the search parties will find you before the bears do."_

"_Hey Rhode Island Runner?"_

"_Yeah Ladies Man?"_

"_Can I ride with you? I'm more scared of Leadfoot than the bears."_

"_Watch it doc or I'll make you ride on top of the car and I'll tie you there with that mic cord."_

Snickering, Buster watched as the Mercedes slowed down and got back in line. Bugs was getting in a hurry again. He had been sporadically trading barbs with Foghorn for the last portion of the journey about everything from the length of the drive to the speed they were going.

Now they were almost there, having passed the city of Fresno , gone through a small portion of dried out dessert, and now, they were in the mountains.

Buster liked it. The air had a cool crisp smell that was a sharp contrast to the usual scents in Los Angeles or even ToonTown. It was clean. He liked the views too; lots of trees and grass. Foghorn said up where he was thinking of going there was a lake. He shivered slightly and rolled his window up; it was cooler here than it had been in Fresno.

"Wow, Bugs isn't on his A-game today. I've heard snappier comeback from a bowl of Rice Krispies," Bernie chuckled. "He better start listening to Foghorn or he's gonna get in real trouble. He might be an expert in almost everything else but in camping he's lost."

"Yeah."

"Well, I went camping a few times with your Mom," Bernie said. "But we always went to a campground, nothing like this. And it was still a disaster each time. But at least now we're going with someone who knows what he's doing. I have no problem following Foghorn."

"Right," Buster answered tightly, glancing at his father before looking back out the window and hoping he didn't have to talk more.

He wanted to ask about that, his Dad and Mom camping. When did they do it? Was it fun? Where did they go?

But to ask the question he'd have to talk.

He sighed. Why did it have to happen now? He knew his voice was going to crack eventually, it was going to happen to all of them. It happened to Monty already so he knew his turn would come eventually. He was being ridiculous he knew.

But right at the beginning of this little trip, when he was going to be stuck in the woods with everyone? Monty would love that; he was already in a pissy mood. And they had laughed at him when it happened; the Mongoloid wouldn't shut up once he figured it out.

Maybe it would cheer Monty up; nothing else appeared to be.

Buster was trying to hide it, hoping if he didn't speak no one would notice, though him not speaking was probably attracting just as much attention. He had been almost silent at lunch due to the time bomb now sitting in his larynx, waiting to embarrass him at any given moment.

Wakko might have figured it out, he wasn't sure. Wakko, when he bothered to pay attention could be pretty observant. Luckily he didn't push much about his silence when given the lame excuse of 'my throat hurts'. Instead, Wakko had just shrugged and talked more about everything going on around him and seemed to be in a reasonably good mood. He usually was though; he could be malleted on the head and five minutes later Wakko would be in a good mood.

Monty and Plucky…if they didn't shut up, he was going to kill them. He wasn't in the best of moods himself - not because of the whole camping thing - because of them. If he hadn't been trying to avoid talking he would have begged Jeeves to dump them on the side of the road and just go camping without them.

"What's wrong Buster?"

Buster shook his head, still watching the view. Far below he could see the city starting to disappear behind another hill.

"Bothered about your voice?"

Buster sighed and felt his face erupt in flame; he had been praying his father hadn't noticed it when he answered a question before lunch. He had just been saying a few words and his voice shot up, becoming squeaky before lowering again. And he was being stupid; his father had been talking to him - how could he have not noticed?

"No, it's fine," Buster said, wincing as his voiced squeaked again.

He decided that until this worked itself out, everyone was just going to have to communicate with him in sign language. Plucky could translate for the ones that didn't know it, everyone knew the idiot duck was the best at it. He wasn't opening his mouth again.

"Yeah, sounds fine. Is that why you've gone almost silent in the last few hours?"

Buster nodded.

"And I take it you're now going to refrain from talking for the next two months or ten months or however long it takes for your voice to permanently drop to the lower pitch?"

Buster nodded again, relieved. Dad had the right idea. Luckily he knew some sign language.

"Nice try Buster," Bernie chuckled. "Relax, you don't sound that funny - "

"Easy for you to say," Buster muttered. "It's not happening to you."

Then he shut his mouth again, cursing to himself. He managed to keep his silent streak all of fifteen seconds. He better come up with a new plan.

He glanced back toward the backseat of their Jeep. He just wanted to crawl up somewhere and write. About anything at this point.

His book was back there, just waiting for him to jot down thoughts or story ideas or sketches. It was his own secret little escape; no one knew about it, not even Dad. He hadn't even told Wakko about it.

He doubted Wakko would laugh. Dad probably wouldn't; he wrote himself. But Dad got paid for it, it was his job after all and he was a lot better at it. Buster just did it to kill time, get his feelings out, his thoughts in order, remember things…lots of reasons.

But, he was worried about looking like a sissy if someone found out. What if he misjudged Wakko? Maybe his friend would think he was a wimp and wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. Wakko wasn't much of a writer; he was notorious for not writing much. Wakko had grumbled that Foghorn and his other tutors had put him on a two-hundred word minimum with papers just because if they didn't he would write about ten words and try to hand it in.

As much as Monty and Plucky were pissing him off, they were good friends and he respected their opinions. He didn't want them thinking he was some pansy that sat around and wrote poems and songs all day.

No, his hobby was a secret. And until he could be by himself his book would just have to stay where it was, buried deep in his backpack under boxers and t-shirts. It was the last thing he packed last night. No way he would leave without it, not for three days.

He liked the book; just holding the thick leather covered pages in his hand made him feel better. He could keep it in his Hammerspace; no one would ever find it there. But he didn't; he wasn't sure why.

He always thought that maybe, if something happened to him suddenly, his father would find the book someday in his drawer at home. Dad might be kinda happy to know that his son sometimes wrote too, even if it wasn't the same type of stuff he did himself and it wasn't any good.

"Well it happened to me at some point," Bernie said. "You think I always sounded like this? That I just woke up one morning and my voice magically changed?"

"Probably not," Buster said, thankful that it apparently wasn't going to happen every sentence he uttered. "But I had hoped that for me."

"Sorry, son, part of growing up," Bernie said, briefly putting his hand on Buster's head. "You remember Max? And Yakko, though his wasn't that bad - "

"Yeah, lucky him," Buster muttered, rolling his eyes when his voice jumped again. "I wish I was more like him. It didn't bother him at all."

It hadn't, Yakko had looked pretty self-confident. He usually did though; one of the reasons Buster had suggested they follow him around. He knew they annoyed the older boy sometimes, like when he was trying to make face with whatever new girlfriend he had, but Yakko was slick. And he was fun to bug and rarely seemed to get too ticked off about it.

Plus, he really did seem to have everything together most times. He was the perfect one to spy on and get hints and tricks from. Plus laughs; they had caught him in some really funny poses. Buster only wished he knew enough words to tell Yakko how ridiculous he had looked in the stairwell all those years ago with his face scrunched up while he kissed that skanky girl.

"Well, it probably bothered Yakko a lot more than he let on," Bernie said. "Yakko's not invincible, he's got feelings too. He was probably just as nervous and scared as you were, but he hides things better, mostly because he's got two smaller children to worry about."

"Yeah, he's the one that came by and told us to stop laughing at Monty so much," Buster said, cringing at the sound of his own voice. "We didn't - or Wakko did, a little."

"He'd be more sympathetic since his brother went through it," Bernie agreed.

"I wish I had been now," Buster moaned, hiding his face in his hands. "Monty's probably going to laugh himself silly over this."

"So let him," Bernie shrugged before rubbing the top of Buster's head. "It doesn't last forever, I talked with you about all this."

"I know, but why now? Those two are bad enough as it is…" Sighing as his voice squeaked once again he resolved to just ignore it. Dad wasn't laughing yet. "Fine, OK, if they're laughing at me they're leaving everyone else alone."

His friend hadn't said anything, but he could tell Wakko was close to losing his cool. Buster himself had no real interest in cars - that had always been Wakko's thing. But he respected his friend and his talents enough to not bug him overly much about it. A few jokes here and there, but not a constant assault on him.

Monty was pushing it now, almost like he was trying to antagonize him. But Max was never one that really knew when to back down.

"I bet they'll be fine once we get settled down at the camp site," Bernie laughed. "They'll have a good time."

Buster looked up at his father unbelievingly. He loved his father, but could he really be that naïve? They would probably be worse when they got to the camp site.

"Right. Sure Dad, you keep on believing that."

"Well, you're having a good time…right?"

_Loaded question._

"Um…yeah, I guess. Or I was, until this," Buster said, gesturing towards his throat. "Now I just want to go home and hide in my room."

Forever preferably. He was glad at least the girls weren't there. When Monty's voice was breaking Babs had told him that it sounded like a mouse was stuck in his throat. Monty didn't talk to her for days after that; he avoided everyone actually. Buster didn't want Babs to hear him like this.

Thinking back on it now Buster wished he had been slightly more sympathetic to his friend. It wasn't painful, but it was embarrassing.

"I told you, you'll be fine," Bernie said in a calming voice. "Give it some time. And I was trying to say if you're having a good time, the others probably will too. After all, you're the leader of your little gang."

"Leader?" Buster snorted, leaning back in his seat. "I hate it when people keep saying that. I don't 'lead' anyone! It's not - "

"Look All-Star - "

"I hate that too," Buster grumbled, crossing his arms and going to glaring back out the window.

"It's not a bad name for you; I sort of like it - "

"Foghorn acts like I'm a dumb jock or something - "

"He didn't mean that - "

"I got a brain too - "

"Buster?"

"Must not be a very good one because no one seems to acknowledge - "

"Buster!"

"What?"

Buster turned to look at his father and wondered why he just shouted. He was right there and his ears were two feet long; he could hear fine.

"You do a lot of things well," Bernie said, shaking his head and glancing at him. "I just wish listening more was one of them. The name is a compliment."

"Not according to Monty," Buster muttered, hearing his voice squeak once again and sighing. "He said - "

"I don't care what he said," Bernie interrupted him. "The name is a compliment whether you want to believe that or not, much like everyone acknowledges you're the de facto leader. People naturally follow you."

"Yeah right," Buster said, finally giving up and laughing at his father. "Dad - I couldn't get Plucky to stop talking about his stupid video game at lunch!"

"Well, no, that's true," Bernie acknowledged. "And I don't think anyone could have stopped him. But you let him talk."

"It's easier sometimes. You know Plucky, a conversation is wasted if it doesn't focus on him."

That wasn't entirely true, but Plucky usually craved the attention.

"And out of all of you, you're the one that doesn't constantly pick at him about his little interest in video games and computers."

Shrugging, Buster said, "Or his little sci-fi fascination. I don't care about them really, but he likes them and he loves attention from anyone. I just have more patience to listen to him. Max gets bored after awhile and half the time Wakko's confused."

"And other than Max, you're able to usually calm most of his manic energy."

"Not always - "

"Well, no." Turning and glaring at him for a moment Bernie added, "I remember you finally admitting that it was Plucky's brilliant idea to go and crash the gates at Disney."

Buster rolled his eyes once his father turned his head. He was never going to hear the end of that.

"But you at least planned it out…somewhat."

"If I didn't Wakko probably wouldn't be here now."

_Damn idiot._

He had to plan everything. When Wakko had suggested they toilet paper Bugs' car, everyone admitted it was a great idea. No way could that be pinned on them. Luckily Dot had the perfect suggestion on where to get that much toilet paper.

But Buster was the only one that had ever spotted the security cameras in the parking lot and also knew that they only were able to spot certain areas. And he was the only one that had been able to figure a way around that. Before Bugs came back from wherever he and Yakko went to lunch, Buster had everyone get large orange cones and set them in Bugs' permanent parking space, forcing the rabbit to park in another lot for vehicle overflow.

No cameras there; they could thoroughly toilet paper the car at their leisure. It was thanks to him that they hadn't been caught. For their punishment they might have had to scrub all the public toilets or something else just as horrible.

They owed him so big.

"And that right there shows natural leadership abilities."

"I just didn't want my friend taken away…" Buster trailed off before speaking again. "Wakko's smart, really. He's good at Math, he's got some insane fascination with cars, he plays a bunch of different instruments well. And he usually listens, like if I've got a problem or if Monty is mad at Plucky…But he doesn't think! He just wanders around with his head in the clouds, like when he didn't eat because of a game!"

"Right. You think Max or Plucky realize that?"

"Who can say?" Buster snorted. "Monty's usually trying to find the next thing to complain about." Sighing he added, "Sometimes he's just so demanding and whiney."

"But he's got some positive aspects I would think, or you wouldn't want to hang out with him as much as you do."

"Oh Monty," Buster said, waving his hand dismissively. "He's smarter than he lets on he's just lazy. But he's usually funny; he's a walking encyclopedia on pop culture. And he's strong…stronger than any of us anyway. And he's the first to jump in if someone's trying to jump one of us. Like Tank - he tried to fight with Wakko a long time ago at a function, or at the skating rink when Plucky's big mouth got him in trouble and Max jumped right in. He's like a big extra-loyal dog without quite as much drool."

"And see, that's what I'm always talking about," Bernie said. "You see the positive and the negative. The others have their strengths, but they have their weaknesses too. You see what they are and use them for the best of the group."

"Maybe."

"Not necessarily for anything good," Bernie added. "I'm aware that for every one thing you get caught on, there's about four pranks or something you didn't get caught for. And I figure at least seventy-five percent of the reason is because of you. And the others, they naturally look at you to lead; you don't need to demand it, they follow you willingly. Whether it's you four playing around in your room, or organizing a game on the lot, or when you play your music, they all look at you."

"I just wish they wouldn't. They're just as smart, probably smarter. I'm not good at it. They could all lead - "

"It's not about intelligence, not all of it," Bernie said. "None of them are stupid, I didn't say that. But they lack the planning and organizing skills that come naturally to you. But, if they know more about something than you, you don't have any problem admitting that do you? You ask them for their thoughts?"

Buster nodded. He would, if they did know more than him. It just didn't happen often.

"See?" Bernie said, gesturing toward the radio where once again Bugs and Foghorn were taunting each other. "On this trip, who would you rather follow right now? Foghorn or Bugs?"

"Defiantly Foghorn," Buster laughed. "He's the only one that seems to know what's going on. My chances of dieing are less with him in charge."

"And Bugs could learn something from you. He's so Type-A personality that he won't just acknowledge that Foghorn knows more about this. And he's getting in a hurry which usually gets him in trouble. And just for the record, Jeeves has a more than passing knowledge in survival skills as well."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

He didn't. He liked Jeeves, the man was always friendly to him, but he didn't know him well.

"I didn't know the British went camping."

"Well, it wasn't camping exactly, but he knows enough about 'roughing it' that I'd take advice from him." At Buster's stunned expression he added, "Don't underestimate him - Jeeves has more knowledge than just what fork goes where in a table setting. He might tell a story around the campfire one of these nights. He was telling me about some of it earlier; we do talk about other things than what the four of you manage to get into."

"Cool."

And very worrying. They might start to figure out more…like ways to stop them from more pranks and fun.

Good to know; he could plan accordingly.

"And I don't want to hear anymore about you're not good enough or smart enough for anything," Bernie added in a chiding tone. "You don't have any reason for a self-esteem issue. I can't tell you how proud I am of you everyday."

Buster cheered up at that. He never heard it enough. Not that his father didn't say it often, but it was nice to hear.

"Thanks Dad."

"If they laugh at your voice, let them laugh. Especially if it's Plucky or Wakko - remind them their times coming and you got a long memory. But don't ever feel insufficient about anything."

"_Hey All-Star?"_

Sighing, Buster turned to glance down at the radio. He had just been getting ready to ask his father about what he and Mom had done on their camping trip when Wakko called. He didn't always have the best timing.

Grabbing the mic he tried to concentrate. Maybe Dad was wrong, if he concentrated really hard maybe he could keep his voice from squeaking for a few words.

"Yeah, go ahead Gear-Head."

Nope, it still squeaks, no matter how much he closed his eyes and concentrated.

"_What the hell was that?"_

Buster winced; Monty had finally heard.

"_About time bunny. Think I forgot all the comments you had for me?"_

Damn. He was right, Max was going to torture him now. In front of everyone; Buster had never been so embarrassed in his life.

Well, they were in the woods. If Max pissed him off too much he could kill him and have plenty of room to hide the body. As snotty as Max had been lately, he might even be able to get some of the others to help.

"_Back off Silver Spoon. He still doesn't sound half as bad as you did."_

Wow. Wakko actually sounded annoyed the way he snapped back at Max. Buster was happy though; at least Wakko was sticking up for him. Hopefully he wouldn't hear too much crap from him anyway.

"_My voice didn't go so high that it made anyone's ears leak blink Gear Head. All American Boy up there needs to be quiet; he'll send everyone into a seizure with that squeal."_

"_Better than making everyone miserable with his attitude…Silver Spoon."_

"_Jealous much…Gear Head?"_

"_Better a Gear Head than a fucking Dick Head - ow! What - "_

"_Boy give me that! One more comment like that and you'll find out what I mean when I say trip to the woodshed- "_

"_But I- " _

Buster started, staring at the radio in shock.

_Daaaaaammmmnnnn._

The radio went silent and he almost winced - Wakko was probably getting an earful from the rooster right now. Buster felt bad for his friend - Foghorn was loud under any circumstance. Now he was angry and they were in an enclosed cab.

After a few more seconds of shocked silence Buster finally started laughing, falling back in his seat and holding his stomach while his father just shook his head and sighed.

Wakko had finally blown and it had taken less time than he thought. Normally he was slightly smarter and tried to keep the swearing to a minimum around the adults. It was obvious Max was trying to antagonize him, Buster had immediately recognized the drawling tone of the other boy's voice. Wakko should have as well.

This entire trip could prove to be very enlightening if nothing else.

Buster was happy Wakko had stood up for him though. At least he didn't have to worry about Wakko laughing at him much. But he was pissed Max set him up, and that he said that about his voice. It wasn't that bad…was it? He hadn't gotten that nasty when Max's voice had broken.

He glanced down at the radio which was still silent. No way Max would be stupid enough to respond after hearing that and from the way he was trying to antagonize him, he got what he wanted anyway.

Poor Wakko.

Or poor Max, if Wakko was in the mood for revenge.

Monty was a fool if he thought he could continue to bug him; Wakko had sounded mad enough to retaliate. The only good thing was Wakko tended to cool down fairly quick; if they stayed separated and didn't further bug each other it might calm down in a few hours.

Oh who was he kidding; they were going to try to kill each other. This trip was starting to suck again. He'd have to try to keep the two separated or something.

Maybe he could convince Dad to camp really far away from them; like in a whole other mountain range.

"Well, looks like you don't have to worry about one of them laughing at you," Bernie said, frowning at the radio briefly. "I hope that's not the normal language that always goes on with you four."

"No Dad."

_Not always. Just a large portion of the time._

Sighing, Bernie added, "Do me a favor and try to have them keep the violence to a minimum? I already checked; none of the hospitals around here have a toon ward and for all of Foghorn's skills I'm not sure he can reattach a tail or put Max's teeth back in."

XXXXXXXXXX

"_Gentleman - I say - Gentleman…and Leadfoot - we've arrived."_

Hands still clutched on the dashboard, Yakko slowly exhaled, happy to have survived the heart-pounding adventure up the mountain with Bugs at the wheel.

He was never doing this again. Ever. The rabbit was insane.

Yakko cast a quick glance out his window as Mr. Bunny pulled up beside the Mercedes. He had never envied Buster before but right now he did. The little blue bunny didn't have the look of crippling terror on his face that Yakko was sure was on his own. Both rabbits turned to look at him, laughing and waving. Yakko shook his head; he probably had a petrified look on his face.

They had been following the Bunnys who had been doing as Foghorn directed, taking things nice and slow because there was no rush. The mountains weren't going anywhere. Bugs apparently thought there was a race though because he had finally passed both them and the Land Cruiser after they left the little town of Shaver.

Unfortunately, the road wasn't designed for the speed Bugs liked to travel. It also wasn't designed for more than one lane of traffic in either direction.

Back on that road somewhere was one very pissed off camper. Yakko sincerely hoped that whenever they managed to get out of the large hole Bugs had driven them into they didn't come looking for them.

Yakko sighed, wishing he had snuck off and stayed back in the town of Shaver when Foghorn said he wanted to check in with a ranger. They had flush toilets and continuous hot water showers. Several of the female employees in the stores and restaurants were young, hot, and scantily clad. There was food and electricity. The closest he would come to 'roughing it' there was maybe having to experience the horror of one-ply tissue.

He shook his head; he was sounding as whiny as Max. The boy had complained about the town and almost demanded they leave 'Hootersville'. Yakko had refrained from hitting the younger boy, mostly because Jeeves had popped him lightly on the back of the head first.

The brat would have to say it in front of the cute blond inside the station. She had rolled her eyes and turned from the group. Not that Yakko minded too much; the rear view was as good as the front, but still, insulting her community had turned her welcoming personality decidedly chilly. He had been shut down before he could even get going.

At least the ranger had been nice, as had his family, who all wanted autographs and photos. And they would even put it on the wall next to the photograph of Yogi Bear who had been through several weeks before.

A few of the younger ones had been surprised, like they were the only toons in the world that had ever gone camping. Yakko felt he had rightly pointed out an important fact; Yogi was a has-been, and a boring one at that. It wasn't like Yogi had a lot else going on; the guy didn't exactly have a lot to do anymore. He could live out in the woods like a real bear and no one would miss him in ToonTown.

Then he got a pop on the head. Come to find out, Bugs was a fan. Yakko had always credited him with slightly more taste.

Live and learn.

Max had turned even crankier after the pop on the head, but it served him right. Yakko was still annoyed at his brother for what he said on the radio; it was actually slightly filthier than he even thought his brother knew, and he was aware that Wakko knew a lot of words. On the other hand, he could see where it would slip out. Max's taunting was getting old.

On a happy note, Foghorn had reprimanded him so for once Yakko didn't need to. He didn't have to be the 'bad guy' this time; he could remain in his 'cool older brother' mode for now. It was an unspoken rule that if one of the adults were around, they were in charge. He could just hang out and be the 'big bro' which meant that he didn't have to be the disciplinarian and usually had a few opportunities to either say 'warned ya' or 'told ya so'.

He usually had to do that with Wakko more than Dot though. Dot had more sense.

Yakko turned to peer out the windshield as Bugs muttered under his breath about dirt, no pavement, and how he was going to bend an axle or scratch the paint. Yakko almost pointed out that if Bugs didn't take the road like an Indy driver, he might not have half those worries. He kept his mouth shut though; Bugs wasn't looking real happy.

He really wished the rabbit would slow down on unpaved roads or at least make some attempt to not hit every hole, rock, limb or anything else in the dirt. Bugs had been knocking him around so badly at one point Yakko was positive he needed to go back to the dentist. He thought a few fillings might have come lose.

Barely casting another glance at the rabbit Yakko began prying his fingers loose from the dashboard, wincing as they uncurled. Relived to find himself in one piece after the rough jarring he stretched back, feeling the bones in his back and tail crack.

"All right Yakko, we need to move," Bugs said, clicking off the ignition and looking at him. "I'm not doing dishes so we need to get this thing set up quick."

"You got yourself into it, why rush me?" Yakko muttered, still trying to still his thumping heart. "It's not like I did anything."

Much of anything anyway.

"Oh no, not a thing, setting me up with the mic," Bugs snorted. "Good one doc, but remember, rabbits have long memories. I got my eye on you. Don't think you'll get me again."

_Right._

Yakko smirked; he already had. He had chugged yet another cup of Bugs' coffee that he had got in Shaver. At some point he wondered if Bugs was ever going to figure out that his coffee kept tasting like hot chocolate and Yakko was simply getting more and more hyper as the day went on.

"Right Da-Doo," Yakko nodded. "No more pranks, got it."

Yakko opened his car door, stepping outside onto the soft dark dirt and looking around, deciding to enjoy it. He was up there and it hadn't been that bad despite Bugs' growing-surlier-by-the-hour attitude and he'd be damned if anyone was going to say he was being an ungrateful brat.

He had to admit, it was gorgeous. He had seen some stunning sites as they were driving in, but every time they went higher, rounded another turn, went fifty feet he saw an even better view.

Foghorn had picked a nice spot to camp for the night. Yakko inhaled; the air was thinner up there and had originally been giving him a headache, but Jeeves had told him it would go away in time. It had, and now he chose to just enjoy the scent of pine and forest. It was pleasant, not the usual smog smell that permeated Los Angeles. Having grown up with it Yakko rarely noticed anymore.

But whenever he left Los Angeles he could always tell. And this air was just…pure. He couldn't even think of another word for it. Unspoiled.

And they had a nice spot for the night. Foghorn had directed everyone to turn off the main dirt road, where they followed him to a small patch clearing about fifty feet off the road. Three sides of them were surrounded by a thick pine forest, the fourth side had a nice view of the lake.

"Now you kids - hey! Stop that you two!"

Not sure if he was in the 'you kids' category, Yakko turned anyway, half expecting to see two or more of the smaller boys trying to drown each other in the lake.

Instead it was Foghorn trying to get some semblance of order going. Buster was clutching Wakko's arm by his jacket sleeve, while Max was smirking and leaning against his vehicle. Meanwhile Plucky was twitching so much he reminded Yakko of a crack addict denied a hit; he must have been at a really high level on his game.

_Three days of this huh? Stuck in the woods with these nuts…_

_Wonder if I can walk back to town…_

"Don't worry about him Yakko," Bugs said. "Let's get the tent set up."

"Ehhh, Bugs, he does - "

" - run his mouth a lot I know," Bugs sighed. "I've known him for fifty years, trust me, you get used to it." Opening the back of the Mercedes Bugs started riffling through gear. "Now where did I put that tent?"

"Probably in front like most new campers," Foghorn answered while beginning to pull something very large and green out of his truck bed. "Put it in first didn't ya? If you had listened to me I woulda told you put it in last. First thing - I say - first thing you're gonna need."

"See how much easier life can be when you listen to someone who knows what they're doing Bugs?" Mr. Bunny asked, grinning and reaching into his Jeep, where his tent was the first thing he put his hands on.

Yakko watched Bugs give Mr. Bunny a snotty look before starting to unload the back, pulling out more gear than most camping stores would stock.

"You want help Bugs?"

"I got it Yakko," Bugs grunted while putting both feet on the bumper as he strained and struggled to pull a chair out. "Listen and see if Big Mouth over there says anything relevant."

Snickering and happy he wasn't going to be doing dishes, Yakko leaned against the vehicle to watch Foghorn struggle to herd everyone together. He noted that Foghorn 'strongly suggested' that the younger boys clear the spaces of debris. Yakko also noted the look that passed between Max and Wakko - or the fingers anyway.

He rolled his eyes, making a note to talk to his brother later. Wakko was not only an actor, he was a Warner; he should know how to be a little more subtle. Now he'd have to do some sort of lecture.

Luckily, Foghorn seemed to have missed the gestures but Jeeves might not have. The butler grabbed Max with one arm and Plucky by the other and hauled the two of them toward one end of the clearing, far away from where Foghorn was telling Wakko to get rid of anything that would poke them through the bottom of the tent.

Yakko watched, very amused as Max began to put a fuss about picking up rocks and sticks. Jeeves leaned over and said something too quiet for Yakko to hear which was unfortunate; the man was a riot. Yakko liked the dry Brit humor; he could never tell if the man was trying to be funny or not. Between that and him not saying anything about Yakko stealing Bugs' coffee despite him witnessing it twice, Jeeves was his new favorite person of the hour.

He was even more regretful he couldn't hear what was said. It must have been fantastic because both boys immediately began to toss pine cones and twigs aside.

Sighing, Yakko decided to do the same. Bugs was still muttering to himself and digging into the Mercedes like the secrets to the universe were hidden in it. All the other adults had their tent materials in hand.

He surveyed the scene. The clearing would be large enough for the four tents in a semi-circle. At some point he presumed someone - no doubt Foghorn - would make a fire.

He turned to watch Bugs continue to unload his car and nodded; a space next to Foghorn and Wakko would suffice. That way, when Bugs finally went mad and attacked him, those two would hopefully rush to his rescue before the rabbit did permanent injury.

Oh, and so he could continue to hear Foghorn and Bugs trade comments. It had gotten to the point where he found it quite amusing.

Using one foot Yakko quickly cleared what he hoped was a large enough patch of ground. It wasn't like Bugs was telling him how big this thing was and up until this week Yakko had never seen a tent before in his life. Unlike the smaller boys, he had his section cleared in minutes and decided to go help Wakko, who was on his hands and knees throwing pine cones off to the side moodily and looking at a few large rocks.

He wanted to check on him anyway; Wakko rarely fought much with his friends. Maybe he could cut something off before it went too far.

Yakko kneeled down beside him silently, being rewarded with a giant smile from Wakko and helped him toss the bigger sticks and rocks aside. Wakko didn't look too angry and Yakko relaxed; he had worried for nothing. The most Wakko looked was 'grumpy'. But Wakko was a forgiving child, he was probably already over whatever had happened previously with Max.

Little boys were a weird sort; best friends one day, hated enemies the next. By the third day they were playing video games at each other's houses again.

"All right Wakko?"

"Yeah, great."

"Look kiddo, whatever's going on with you and Max, just let it die OK? I don't think you want to make Foghorn mad again." At Wakko's quick shake of his head he added, "And I saw you and Max just now. Try not being quite so obvious huh?" Sighing he said, "I know he's being a pain, trust me right now I want to mallet him and put him out of our misery too. Just…try to calm down OK?"

"He just won't shut up," Wakko muttered while he threw pine cones to the side. "I don't tell him he's an idiot for the stuff he likes - you said there's nothing wrong with me working on the cars."

"There's not," Yakko shrugged. "You like it, it keeps you out of trouble…well, no it doesn't, but it probably keeps you out of more trouble than you'd be in, and it's useful. Or it will be at some point." Putting his arm around Wakko's shoulders briefly he said, "He's probably just jealous; come on, what does Max really know besides how to whine and complain? You already know how to…do stuff…on the cars," he finished off fumblingly, not really sure what Wakko knew about cars. He presumed it was a lot more than him.

"I guess."

"Cheer up or whenever I get a car I'll make you work on it."

He had said it as a joking threat. Wakko acted like he just told him he could go buy every video game at Toys-R-Us.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Yakko nodded, glancing at him and picking up another large rock while wondering why Wakko was clearing such a big space. "I trust you and I'll have my own personal mechanic living with me."

Wakko continued to beam. Yakko shook his head; his brother was insane. He wouldn't tease him since Max was being a real dink but 'Gear Head' actually fit. His brother only liked a few things, but he liked them whole-heartedly.

Deciding to really make his day, Yakko added, "And at some point I need you to show me something. On a car."

"Like what?"

"Changing a tire," Yakko grunted, finally dropping the rock off to the side. "Bugs said I had to learn it - not sure why, I doubt Bugs knows how to do it himself. But it's a requirement."

Yakko congratulated himself as he looked at Wakko's face. The very idea of little brother having to show big brother something made Wakko over the moon. He was no longer looking as grumpy as he was before which was nice. Yakko did want him to have a good time.

Panting, he leaned over, putting his hand on Wakko's shoulder and asking, "OK, how big a space you need Wakko? I'm not moving every boulder in the area for you."

"Foghorn said it's big but I think this is good…Oh!" Wakko said, jumping up. "I wanna ask you something! Foghorn asked me if I wanna - "

"Don't fraternize with the enemy!"

Rolling his eyes, Yakko looked over his shoulder to see Bugs, tent box in hand, making his way toward them.

Bugs took these things way too seriously. He said he wanted Yakko to come along, have a good time and all that, but Bugs was going to give himself a heart attack if he kept this frantic pace up.

"I know he's a pain Bugs, but he's not 'the enemy'," Yakko said.

"It's team operations Yakko - he's on the other team."

_Oh for the love of…_

Sighing, Yakko turned to Wakko and added, "I'll talk to you later, just remember what I said OK?" Putting his hand on his brother's shoulder he added, "Look, I just wanna say I'm proud of you. You're handling this well; maybe you didn't even wanna come but you're acting mature about it, not crying and whining like Max. He gets on your nerves too much just…I don't know…don't do anything."

Yakko looked at his brother, who was giving him a look that clearly said 'yeah - right'.

Sighing, Yakko amended his prior statement with, "OK, fine, I know you. So here's a bit of helpful advice - whatever you do don't do it in front of these guys. Remember, you got extra eyes on you right now."

At Wakko's nod he stood, going over to watch Bugs struggle to open the tent box while Foghorn was dragging out what appeared to be a very large tarp. Yakko watched him and Wakko unfold it for a few second before turning back to Bugs, who was gnawing at the tape holding the box together with his teeth.

Glancing around behind him he could see Mr. Bunny and Buster studying the instructions for their tent, showing that at least some rabbits possessed common sense once leaving the city. Bugs had apparently left his at home; Yakko would have thought he would have at least opened the box already.

Jeeves was making short work of putting his tent up, the shiny blue material already laid out while he quickly snapped long copper poles together. Yakko watched him briefly since he actually looked like he knew what he was doing.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise when Plucky came over and offered to help the man. The butler didn't seem at all shocked and merely asked him to begin taking the sleeping bags out of the vehicle. Max looked surprised, like he had never heard those words strung together in a sentence before. It didn't move him off the car though.

Shrugging, Yakko turned back to Bugs who had finally ripped the box open with a yell of triumph.

"Finally get your fiber intake Bugs?"

"Quiet Yakko and help."

"OK," Yakko said, determined to at least do something besides watch. "Where are the directions?"

"Who needs those?" Bugs said, waving his hand at him dismissively while he rooted around with the other inside the long box. "It's a tent, how hard can it be?"

At that statement, Yakko looked at him and determined he was probably going to have to steal Bugs' car keys and sleep in the Mercedes tonight.

"What would you like me to do then Bugs? I have to tell ya, I don't know anything about putting up tents."

"Don't worry about it," Bugs said. "I'll do it myself."

_So much for teamwork._

Sighing, Yakko turned to watch Foghorn and Wakko while Bugs kept muttering about the stupid poles having something rubbery inside them.

The rooster was unrolling the tarp that was revealed to be the largest and ugliest tent Yakko had ever seen before he slammed a very long pole in the ground. Next he walked around, slowly scratching 'X's' in the ground and telling Wakko to hammer the stakes in.

Yakko settled back to watch; at least Wakko was assured of having cover to sleep under tonight. As Wakko set about hammering the stakes in, Yakko wondered if Foghorn was putting up a circus tent; how big was the damn thing?

"Gotta get the stakes in the ground," Bugs muttered.

"So I'll do that," Yakko said, reaching back in his Hammerspace for his mallet. "How big is it?"

"I said I'll do it doc, you just stand there and relax."

Shrugging, Yakko stood and watched, not really relaxed. Bugs was going to mess this up. The rabbit had set him up on tests a few times in the past with trick questions, that weren't really trick if he had read the directions first.

Maybe if he begged really sweetly one of the others would let him stay in the tent with them because Bugs wasn't going to be supplying any cover and -

"What the - "

He felt something whizzing by his head rather than saw it as Bugs spoke.

Feeling the air move by his head Yakko dove toward the ground, catching a face full of pine needles and dirt as he yelled, "Jesus Christ!"

"Yakko!"

"Don't 'Yakko' me!" Yakko gasped as everyone turned to look at them. Gulping he yelled, "I almost lost an eye because of you!"

"I didn't expect it to do that!" Bugs said, sounding annoyed. "It slipped! It just shot out!"

"That's what they all say," Yakko said, starting to stand on shaky legs and brushing off his clothing with trembling hands. "During what part of that was I supposed to relax?"

"Eh, yeah," Bugs said, looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry Yakko - you OK?"

"Yeah, yeah, it missed," Yakko said, looking around behind him at the blue missile that had almost pierced him. "If I leave out of here with just a shiner I'm gonna be happy."

"I didn't intend to do that!" Bugs said.

"I wanna be on a different team, you know, where the teammates don't try to kill each other."

"Just go stand by the tree then," Bugs directed. "Out of the danger zone."

"Fine, before you impale me like a damn vampire," Yakko muttered.

Leaning against the tree, Yakko tried again to still his thudding heart and decided to return to watching Foghorn and Wakko. It was decidedly less hazardless to his health.

Foghorn, with some 'not-quite-needed-but-seemed-to-make-him-feel-important' assistance from Wakko began to unroll the material. It was huge; maybe it was a circus tent.

Yakko turned; Bugs actually looked like he was in one of his shorts. The poor guy was spinning around with the tent like a whirling dervish. Yakko watched in wonder for a moment; he was actually fighting with the tent.

It was an uneven battle; the tent was kicking his ass. He was also in the process of putting it on the ground upside down and only had six of the eight stakes in. Even Yakko knew the black side was the side that went on the ground.

Taking pity on his mentor and with what he felt was a healthy disrespect for his life Yakko walked over and picked up the directions which had been discarded with the box.

"Hey Bugs - "

"Busy Yakko," Bugs grunted, trying to bend one of the polls. "In a minute - "

"I think maybe we should read the directions."

"I think I got it!"

_What? Dementia?_

The fabric collapsed on Bugs and Yakko shook his head again. Why did he have to have the mentor-friend-teammate-da-doo who wouldn't read a simple sheet of paper?

"What's wrong with this tent?" Bugs grumbled, pulling the slippery fabric off his head.

"Nothing, it's just being put up by you," Yakko muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Yakko hastily said. "Ehhhhh, where's that string you said we would just need to pull?"

"Quiet doc; just stand by the tree and watch."

"Which tree do you plan on not firing things at? You still have two more stakes to put in the ground."

"Yakko…"

"I mean we are in a forest Bugs; can you at least tell me which tree you would like me to watch by?"

"Yakko…"

"This camping business is just as easy as you said it would be!" Yakko said in a voice that he was attempting to make not too sarcastic. Goading Bugs was becoming a decidedly amusing pastime. "It's fun too, watching my da-doo get beaten by a piece of nylon."

"Yakko!"

Never one to push his comments where they weren't wanted, Yakko snickered and leaned against the tree. He could enjoy the sight and have a relatively safe comfort zone between himself and the hare.

He returned to watching the others. Jeeves was actually done with his tent and was offering assistance to the Bunnys who seemed to be doing perfectly fine on their own.

Because they were smart rabbits who would read instructions.

Yakko turned to glare briefly at Bugs.

Wakko and Foghorn were in the process of putting up the ugly piece of canvas that was doubling as a tent. It looked like something the U.S. Army would use. It was even olive green -

Yakko started at Bugs' laugh when the rabbit turned to look.

"Foghorn, what is that thing?" Bugs snickered while pointing with a long copper colored pole. "It looks like the Swamp!"

It did too, with the exception that the Swamp had a door and this merely had a flap. Yakko squinted his eyes. It actually said U.S. Army on the side and had a serial number. He wished it did say '4077' on the side; that would actually be pretty damn cool.

"Yeah, finest kind rabbit," Foghorn said before handing Wakko a rope. "Here boy, hold this; I'll tie it down." Turning to look at Bugs he added, "Good tent, sturdy, roomy…I've also put it up and down more times than a real 'MASH' unit. Can you - I say - can you say that about yours?"

"Course he can't," Yakko scoffed. "He just opened the box a few minutes ago."

"You're not helping Yakko," Bugs growled in a low tone.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "I tried to but then you started launching projectiles at me - "

"If only one of them had landed in your mouth," Bugs muttered before climbing back in the tent, emitting a low growl as it collapsed on him again, only his rear and legs sticking out.

Smirking, Yakko again retreated to the relative safety of the tree, still observing the scene.

Max was now grudgingly helping carry items from the truck with a wondering look on his face, as if he couldn't figure out exactly how he came to be doing it. The Bunnys were now finished, Mr. Bunny's arm around his son's shoulder as they proudly surveyed their shelter.

Foghorn and Wakko were probably close to done, from what little bit Yakko could actually tell about tent raising. It really did resemble the Swamp.

He would wish he was at home, watching the show on TV, but even that show didn't provide half the laughs Bugs was providing him at the moment. The rabbit had somehow managed to get himself and the poles bent enough to fit inside the tent.

Yakko, fist to his mouth in an effort to quell some of his chuckling, watched the piece of nylon flop around like a giant blue worm with Bugs helplessly cocooned inside. He was glad he brought his camera; with any luck he'd have blackmail material for a month.

Thinking of that, he reached behind him and pulled it out of his Hammerspace, quickly snapping off a few pictures, including one of just Bugs' ears sticking out the opening of the tent. He took a few of the others too, deciding to make himself the official photographer of the trip, the one who kept the chronicle of laughs this was proving to provide.

"Hey Leadfoot - we're almost done!" Foghorn said loudly. "Just gotta - "

"Hey! You had help!" Bugs' muffled voice came from inside the tent.

Yakko frowned, mostly at the comment. He had offered to do several different things until Bugs decided to use his head as a target.

He was about to fire off another smart comment to the rabbit but paused as the tent suddenly went still. He hopped Bugs hadn't managed to suffocate or knock himself out or something. He wanted to get back to civilization at some point.

Then he remembered there were several other adults there, all with vehicles. Bugs was also the one that had expressly forbidden him access to coffee. And the rabbit was the one that had played him like a lute to agree to even come along on this little quest.

He decided 'knocked silly' would be acceptable.

Serve the rabbit right. Bugs had lectured Yakko enough about at least listening to someone who may know more than him. Foghorn knew more, Bugs was refusing to listen; serves him right if he gets strangled with his own tent cord.

Bugs was rarely proven wrong. It was delicious when it happened though.

Cautiously Yakko stepped toward the tent, stopping to grab a stick as he did so. Reaching the now still pile of blue nylon, he gently poked it.

"Ya alive?"

"Go away doc."

"Course I had help," Foghorn said. "Had the boy here - couldn't have done it without him!"

Yakko turned, stick still in hand to look. Wakko was grinning like Christmas came early. He got a self-esteem boost from his idol and knew he was going to have a place to sleep not in direct view of whatever creepy crawlies lurked in this woods.

Lucky bastard.

"Ehhhhh, Bugs, maybe we should read the directions now."

"Just hold on Yakko, I got this."

Shrugging and giving up, Yakko watched in a mixture of helplessness and amusement. He had offered, several times; there was simply nothing more he could do except be prepared in case anything else came flying at him.

Or mallet Bugs and do it himself. But he simply wasn't that stupid. The rabbit would wake eventually.

"We just gotta tie off a few more ropes! You want help yet or - "

"Be quiet loudmouth," Bugs' voice came from inside the tent. "I'm almost done!"

Yakko, eyebrows raised, sighed. Bugs was so stunningly inept at this he couldn't even comprehend what the rabbit was doing at this point. Watching the material do a three-hundred-and-sixty degree rotation Yakko grinned again. Bugs looked like he was doing 'The Curley Shuffle' in there. He wished he had a video camera now.

Blackmail material for a year.

Yakko exchanged a look with Wakko, who grinned and shrugged. Meanwhile, everyone else had turned to watch the spectacle in silence.

Max and Plucky were sharing a bag of chips. Jeeves was simply observing it all with his usual unreadable expression, arms crossed as he towered over the two boys. The Bunnys were still sitting in front of their tent, looking like they were watching a carnival show.

"That's just - I say - that's just dandy!" Foghorn said, returning to his own tent. "Figured I should let you know that nylon isn't that strong, you wrestle - "

Foghorn stopped talking at a loud tearing sound and Yakko, already amused, finally collapsed on the ground laughing.

Bugs had done it, he'd ripped the tent.

Yakko, face buried in his arms finally managed to raise his head enough to gaze at it through teary eyes.

Bugs had actually cut a three foot slice down the side portion. He watched as one long grey ear uncurled out the gash before curling back up and disappearing inside again like the feet of a witch with a house dropped on her. Yakko rested his head on his folded arms again, shaking in suppressed mirth as the rest of the tent fell in on itself and the hare.

"Nevermind!" Foghorn howled, even his loud voice barely being heard over the roars of laughter coming from the others. "I think we win boy!"

Yakko finally managed to raise himself so he was crouching next to the now ruined tent. Trying to pull himself together enough to speak, he poked it with his stick again.

"Ehhhhhh…What chapter was this in the 'Acme Guide to Camping'?"

"Yakko, when I get out of here, make sure you're not around."

"Okie Dokie," Yakko chuckled, looking around.

It was funny and he had plenty of jokes for later, but right now he had to procure himself a place to sleep. He turned and looked back at the tent and gave a long-suffering sigh. He should make sure Bugs had a place to sleep too. The rabbit had provided too many laughs to leave him hanging with no place to go.

"Hey Foghorn?" Yakko asked, turning to the jovial looking rooster. "We have a dilemma. Can we - "

"You can stay in here - it's big enough. One of the reasons I brought this one. You hear that Bugs?" Foghorn yelled. "You can - I say - you can sleep in my tent too! Yeah, the one you laughed at - 'The Swamp'."

"Yeah yeah," Bugs said, slowly climbing out of his tent, looking embarrassed and annoyed at everyone's laughing. "Fine, you win for now. Just hope your big mouth doesn't keep us up all night."

"Yeah, you can stay in here," Foghorn repeated, not even pausing in his talking. "You can be our Frank Burns. Every Swamp needs a pompous braying jackass - "

Yakko lost anything else the rooster was staying, simply due to the fact he was laughing too hard, as was everyone else.

Satisfied that he not only had a place to sleep, he also should have plenty of fodder for jokes for awhile, Yakko finally stood again, deciding to bring some of their gear to Foghorn's gigantic tent. He gave the rabbit a wide berth though as he passed; Bugs was not looking like a happy camper. He thought briefly of handing Bugs the brochures Foghorn had given him of local hotels but quickly decided against it; like as not his tutor would make him eat them.

Thinking of food, Yakko prayed that someone else beside Bugs would be doing the cooking. He was actually hungry and if Bugs showed that much incompetence with a simple tent he could only imagine what he would do around an open flame.

Smirking at the nasty look Bugs shot him, he continued to the car, satisfied. He was still jittery from the constant scares the last few hours had brought along with the seven cups of coffee he had consumed since early this morning. But watching Bugs put up the tent had put him in a decidedly good mood.

Bugs was now staring forlornly at his tent. Foghorn was hooting about making sure he brought dishwashing liquid. Wakko was strolling inside the Swamp like a proud homeowner.

Nothing sucky about this; this was proving to be the laugh of a lifetime.

XXXXXXXXXX

"So…uh…this is it huh?"

"Yes Plucky, this is it," Buster sighed, wincing at the sound of his voice and not looking at Max, who had started snickering again.

Buster looked at the duck sitting cross-legged across from him, the light from the campfire behind him reflecting off his beak and giving his eyes a weird glow.

Or maybe it was he was jonesing for a video game fix. Hard to say with Plucky.

"I just thought there'd be more to it," the duck shrugged, exchanging a glance with his friend. "You know…more interesting stuff. People said camping was fun but this…isn't. I need something to do."

"Well please Plucky, enlighten us as to what you'd like to do," Max said, stretching out his body before resting back on the grass on his elbows. "Watching TV's out of the question isn't it? We're stuck in the fucking woods so let's go over our options for entertainment shall we? Let's see, we can either let the adults tell us spooky stories in a vain attempt to frighten us or cook more edible items on filthy sticks no doubt covered in animal feces and sing Koombaya."

"It hasn't been that bad," Wakko snapped from beside Buster. "If we didn't have to put up with you it'd be a lot more fun."

"Speak for yourself Motor Head," Max drawled in a quiet voice. "Most of us civilized toons don't enjoy having to dig through the woods for sticks and rocks like a Neanderthal."

"Yeah, I know it was real tough on you, having to carry that one stick," Wakko said snidely. "We all carried rocks and firewood. With as little as you did no one should have let you eat."

"As bad as that hotdog tasted, I assure you I wouldn't have minded."

"You had two I noticed," Wakko pointed out.

"With the size of Foghorn you would think he could cook better."

Buster wearily reached out and grabbed Wakko's arm, not even having to look to see if his friend was getting ready to launch himself at the snickering Max. He had been doing it all afternoon.

"Settle down you two," Buster ordered. "You want to get them involved?" He asked, gesturing toward the fire where the adults were all gathered. "We don't need to attract them to us."

"Can it squeaky," Max said. "All you're gonna attract to us is rodents if you keep talking in that voice."

"You know Max, you're a real jerk sometimes," Buster said, not caring that his voice was cracking more. "None of us were this bad to you."

"Can dish it but can't take it huh Bunny?" Plucky finally asked. "You should have tried it from his side."

"Oh, says one of the ones that was really quick to jump in and make a few comments himself. Fucking hypocrite," Buster muttered.

"Look, we said we were sorry," Wakko said, actually sounding half-way contrite. "I am, really! Most people would just say 'it's fine because you're a friend and didn't mean - "

"You're the forgiving one around here Gear Head, I'll let you handle that."

"Enough all ready!" Wakko said loudly before being shushed by the others. Leaning into the center of their little circle he hissed, "So I like cars! Big deal! What the hell does it matter?"

"Nothing - with you it just doesn't surprise me anymore. Getting dirt under your fingernails and staying up to your elbows in grease would be a rich fulfilling day for you," Max said in a snotty tone.

"The idea of actually doing any work - "

"Is foreign to me. And it should be to you too," Max said, pointing toward him. "It's not like you're poor and won't be able to afford someone to work on your damn car or do this shit for you."

"Look, Monty," Wakko started, "I like working on the cars - "

"Which I can hardly believe!" Max said sharply. "It's beneath me and it should be beneath you! I mean why even bother wearing your gloves? Just be a damn ditch digger and be done with it!"

"Guys, drop it," Buster warned, wincing as their argument started to get loud again. "I'm not going to catch hell because of you two."

"What did I do that pissed you off so badly?" Wakko asked. "Because - "

"The dick head comment for starters - "

"I said I was sorry," Wakko frowned. "But you - "

"You probably apologized because Foghorn threatened to whip your ass for it if you didn't. By the way, I would have enjoyed seeing you limp back to the truck like you were in a Christmas pantomime. It would have almost made this hellish experience worth it."

Buster sighed; he gave up. If Wakko launched himself at Max again, he wasn't holding him back. At this point, Max deserved it. Hell, he'd help Wakko dig a hole to bury him in.

He knew Max didn't want to be there. Everyone knew it; Max hadn't left a lot of doubts on his feelings about the entire idea of camping but damn he didn't need to take his annoyance out on them. He was bored and was obviously trying to make everyone else miserable to simply kill time.

Max was being a dickhead; Wakko wasn't wrong. He was stupid for saying that on the radio so everyone could hear, but he wasn't wrong. Max was getting under Buster's skin with the comments about his voice.

Wakko was getting on his nerves just because he was falling for Max's tricks. Wakko wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box sometimes but he knew Max and his moods; he should be able to see right through the other boy.

Max was skilled at being very slick and charming when the urge struck him, sometimes even fooling Buster himself. But not this time; he wasn't even trying to hide the fact he was egging Wakko on.

And the normally laid-back Wakko was falling for it. He was falling for it each time Max opened his mouth and just digging himself deeper in the hole. Now he had Foghorn and Yakko mad at him. Earlier he had gotten himself yelled at again, this time for telling Max he was an asshole in front of Foghorn. Wakko had narrowly escaped from that one.

Max was being one though; he had hit Wakko's tail with a stick, pretty damn hard if the way he had yelped was any indication. When questioned as to why he did it, Max told everyone he thought it was a snake. Buster wasn't sure if anyone believed him or not but they had let it go.

Buster didn't believe it; he had seen Max sneaking up on Wakko when he had been sitting on a stump and his tail had been tapping on some leaves. He had almost said something, just to finally get Max in trouble and perhaps shut him up but hadn't. He was no snitch.

Buster sighed, looking at Wakko who was now clenching his fists but appeared to be staying in his assigned spot. Buster had come up with the idea of Wakko staying by him, Plucky staying by Max on opposite sides of their chosen little spot near the vehicles. There was enough space between the four of them that someone could hopefully stop one of the others if tempers flared. It was also far enough away from the adults that they were assured of privacy when talking if they did it quietly but well within sight so they couldn't be accused of wandering off.

Not that any of them had any intention of doing that - even Wakko and his exploratory nature wasn't inclined to wander around in the woods after dusk. They had already been told about some of the local wildlife. A few of the species loved rabbit and duck.

"That's fucked up Max," Wakko growled. "You know - "

"Ah ah," Max chided in a mocking tone. "Watch it Gear Head - Foghorn might hear."

Plucky, who had at least had the tact to try not to look but so amused before finally started laughing, earning himself a nasty look from Wakko.

The only one of them who had originally been looking forward to the whole camping trip was probably having the most miserable time. Buster really wanted to mallet Max; if he was unconscious he couldn't talk. If Plucky got in his way…well…it was the duck's fault. He was guilty just because of the company he kept. It wasn't like he was jumping in and actually helping to keep Max under control.

Jerk. Max was his friend, but Wakko was too. Hell, Wakko had sat there and listened to the duck at lunch and dinner when he talked about the stupid game again, long past when Buster had zoned out on him. Even Max had gotten bored with Plucky after awhile; it was obvious even though he hadn't said anything.

Buster actually wasn't having a bad time, in-between making sure his friends didn't kill each other.

He and Dad had managed to put their tent up with minimal fuss, unlike Bugs who was proving to be the 'cautionary example' for everyone. Or at least that's what Dad was calling him, saying that he hoped everyone would at least see the benefits of reading the instructions before trying to do something.

Bugs hadn't been amused. Yakko was though; he was so amused he barely stopped making comments the entire evening. He had finally stopped for a few minutes when Bugs threatened to shove the stick he was roasting a carrot on up his nose.

After awhile, a cup of chocolate in hand Yakko moved to the other side of the fire and continued to make jokes. Buster thought it was hilarious; everyone else was getting tired and Yakko just seemed to be overflowing with energy. He was so overflowing in fact that Bugs had finally allowed him to go explore on his own, as long as he didn't go far, a fact that annoyed the rest of them for the simple fact that Yakko didn't have the adults breathing down his neck.

But like Foghorn had pointed out, Yakko was not only old enough to go a short distance away, there was no concerns about TIS out there. So Yakko was allowed some freedom while they - the 'younguns' - had to be kept in sight.

But, other than the constraints on his freedom, Buster wasn't having that bad a time. And his father seemed to be having a blast.

Even though Dad said he had put the tent up before, he still wanted the instructions out and Buster's help. Buster hadn't minded; not only did he get to help, while they were putting it up Dad had told him that this was the tent he and Mom had stayed in the few times they had gone camping.

Buster had listened, fascinated. Apparently every time they had gone it was a partial disaster. The first time Dad had almost drowned in the lake falling in and Mom had to save him. That night he put the tent together wrong and it collapsed on them in the middle of the night, scaring both of them because they thought a bear jumped on it. The second time they went they had gotten lost and finally stayed in a hotel and just ditched the idea of camping altogether.

The stories were amusing and helped Buster get a better picture of his mother. Dad enjoyed talking about her. He said that the third and last time they had used the tent was shortly after Buster's first birthday, when they had needed a small vacation and had Bugs watch him for the weekend.

Buster was touched that Dad had kept the tent, his hand on the side of it while he talked about her. He was happy Dad had bought new sleeping bags though.

Dad had briefly said that he and Mom had been planning another camping trip, this time taking him along before her accident. He had said that was one of the reasons he had never suggested going camping before or mentioned that he and Mom had tried their very unskilled hands at it a few times. The memory had been painful and he hoped that, after time it would fade enough that he could try it again.

And it seemed like it had. Dad generally appeared to be having a good time, either spending time with him or with the other three adults. He was even acting as a sort of calming influence with the adults as they sat around the fire and drank coffee.

Turning at the sound of laugher, Buster could see a grumpy Bugs, still scrubbing dishes and pans by the light of the fire. Dad was talking while Foghorn sat on a log and listened, for once not flapping his own beak. Jeeves was beside Bugs and seemed to be regarding the entire gathering in front of him with an air of bored disinterest.

At least they were all getting along better; Buster had the impression that Foghorn didn't like Jeeves much. But Foghorn didn't know Jeeves well; Buster and his father had known the man for years. He was a pretty nice guy; too bad Monty treated him like crap too.

Sometimes, Buster really wondered why he was friends with Monty. He was used to the boy's abrasive personality; buried deep underneath it there was a good personality and decent heart but damn it he made it easy to forget sometimes.

"I'm so bored I'm about to scream," Plucky muttered. "I'm about to volunteer to go to bed just so I can sleep this night away and not remember where I'm at."

"Bored huh?" Wakko asked, finally turning away from glaring at Max to direct his gaze to the duck.

Buster turned. Wakko had an interesting look on his face. It wasn't an unfamiliar one; Buster recognized his friend's 'I-have-a-plan-and-it's-gonna-get-ugly-for-someone' look.

This had the potential to be interesting.

"Yeah, bored Sprocket Junkie!" Max snapped. "You might get your kicks out of sitting around in the dirt or playing with greasy parts but the rest of us need something else to stimulate our minds!"

"Calm down Monty," Wakko said in a soothing voice. "No need to get all upset; I was just thinking - "

"Imagine that," Plucky muttered.

Buster hid his face in his hands. The potential to be 'interesting' just went to 'deadly'.

" - that you do have that video game system - "

"That we can't play, remember dipshit?" Max said, sounding exasperated. "Jeeves made us turn it off as soon as we arrived. Said it was 'only for the trip here', wherever the hell 'here' is. He said we can't play it, stay out of the truck and he's the one with the keys."

"Right, right," Wakko said in an agreeable tone. "But who said he had to know?"

"Keys asshole!" Max said loudly. "You're the damn car nut you remember about keys right?"

"Watch it Monty," Wakko warned, his dark eyes watching Max. "Foghorn's threat might extend to you too."

Buster shivered; Wakko was scaring him. He was watching Max like a cobra getting ready to strike. And he was…thinking…

He had a plan of some sort.

He shook his head, convinced he was seeing things. Wakko didn't plan. Wakko had no idea what he was going to have for breakfast the next morning. Hell Wakko probably didn't even plan on having breakfast. He just wandered out into the kitchen and food was sitting there and then he remembered he was supposed to eat.

"He wouldn't dare touch me," Max said in a tone that clearly said he himself had doubts to the validity of that statement.

"I wouldn't push it, but that's just me," Wakko said easily. "And anyway, you don't need keys to run the games - "

"You don't?" Plucky asked.

"Nope. It's got its power source already."

"It doesn't hurt the car?"

"Nope, doesn't hurt the actual car," Wakko said, studying his glove and briefly biting his lip. "Just gotta flip the switch on the power inverter."

_He's lying…_

"Wait though," Plucky said. "What about the battery?"

"Um…Doesn't have anything to do with the battery…um…they recharge," Wakko said quickly, sitting up straighter. "Yeah, when you hear the buzzer, it means you have about two hours left. But don't worry about that stuff," Wakko added hastily, waving a hand at them in a dismissive fashion. "You just need to worry about the power inverter. It's the black box that the game is plugged into - it's fine! I'll even show you where it is if you want."

_He's full of shit…_

"I already know," Max said. "Had to figure that out - "

"Well shit, let's go then!" Plucky said, already standing and looking happier than he had since they ate dinner.

"Not now," Max said, pulling him down. "They'll all see," he added, nodding his head toward the group of adults. "Remember, it's supposed to be a video game free weekend - you really want to clue them in?"

"With the direction of the vehicle I don't think they'd even notice you playing," Wakko said. "But I'm just saying that you don't need the keys is all. The only thing you'd need the keys for is to unlock the doors, if they bothered to lock them. Like you said before, no one's around; who would steal them?"

"It's not locked," Max said, glancing over at the vehicle. "We've been in and out of it all day."

Buster blinked and continued to study Wakko. He had no idea what his friend was doing, but he sure got over his anger quickly. He was helping Max and Plucky which was the last thing Buster figured he would do. If Max and Plucky bothered to think about it for more than two seconds they would realize that too.

And Buster caught him chewing on his lip. Wakko was pretty damn slick sometimes, but he had little tell-tale signs that gave him away when he was lying. All of them did; he was actually quite pleased with himself when he had started to notice them.

"Look, Monty," Plucky said. "All we do is wait till later and go for it - I can finish my level! Come on - I'll even play you! I think I've already figured out how to beat it!"

"Yeah, OK," Max agreed, rolling his eyes. "I can finally see this thing since I kept getting distracted on the ride here. I'd like to play the damn game; after all, I own it." Turning to look at Wakko and Buster he asked, "So, you in?"

"Count me out," Wakko said with a huge fake yawn and stretching his arms. "I'm tired. I think I'll just sleep. Some of us had to work to make sure - "

"Yeah, whatever. Buster?"

Buster looked at Max. He was tempted; he wanted to play the game himself and he wasn't really all that tired.

But Wakko was signing something as he put his hands back in his lap. Buster watched his hand; the forefinger and middle finger were snapping closed on the thumb. Wakko was actually doing it wrong given his position and the fact that Plucky was watching, but Buster recognized it as a variation of a finger spelling.

_No._

Buster frowned, hoping his friend would give him more details. It actually sounded like a decent idea, even if he could tell that Wakko had just about led the other boys there. He made a mental note to never anger him that much; apparently Wakko not only had a breaking point, but at some point he would also not only think about retaliation, but act on it.

He looked again. Wakko was staring back at him with a totally unreadable expression.

"Well rabbit? You in or you wanna sit around and talk car parts and hiking trails with Gear Head?"

Buster glanced at Max before looking at Wakko again. Still the same calm face, black eyes unreadable and reflecting the light of the campfire. He gave a miniscule shake of his head.

He wondered what was going on. He almost felt bad. Wakko - his best friend - was setting up two other close friends…somehow. He almost wanted to warn them despite how they had been acting the whole day. If Max or Plucky knew he was about to do something that would get him in trouble, they usually warned him.

He remembered the comments on his voice and decided against it. For now. He'd try to figure out Wakko's plan and if it was going to be dangerous he'd warn the other two. If they'd even listen.

"Um…yeah, think I'll pass for right now," he answered hesitantly, still watching a now smirking Wakko.

"Figures," Plucky smirked. "Can't have All-Star ruining his shining, kiss ass reputation."

"Screw you Plucky," Buster said, any feeling of being upset at setting the duck up disappearing. "I just wanna talk to my Dad - mine actually came you know."

_Ouch. _

Buster almost bit his own tongue off as soon as the words were out of his mouth. How could he have said that?

He winced at the look of hurt that briefly passed over Plucky's face. The duck was good though, the look disappeared almost as soon as it showed to be replaced with anger.

That was low - much lower than he usually went.

"Fuck you Buster," Max hissed. "That was out of line for such an All American kid."

"You're right - it was. I'm sorry," he said, turning to Plucky who gave him a stiff nod. Sighing he added, "Look guys, it's been a long day. I think I'm just going to go to bed; God knows what will happen to us tomorrow."

"Right," Wakko said, standing and grabbing the collar of Buster's jacket. "Come on let's go play nice with the adults for a few."

"Watch your language Gear Brain," Max called after him. "Don't wanna get in any more trouble."

"God damn asshole I'll show you trouble," Wakko muttered darkly as he stomped toward the fire.

"Wak, wait…" Buster said, almost having to run to keep up with the angry boy. Catching up to him he grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to talk. "OK, what's really going on?"

"We're going to go establish an alibi, a good one that's not easily busted by their little pow-wows," Wakko explained, gesturing toward the group of adults. "Or I am - depends on if you trust the Gear Head or not - "

"Hey pal, ease off," Buster said, offended and smacking him. "I'm on your side remember? Have I said anything to give you the impression I don't?"

"Yeah. I mean no…sorry," Wakko said, biting on his lip momentarily. Sighing he said, "Look, trust me, just don't go back out there OK? You're really not gonna wanna have to admit you were out there in the morning." Smirking he said, "I doubt they will either."

"What's gonna happen?" Buster asked, worried.

Wakko was acting odd, like he actually had something good brewed up this time, and all by himself too. Buster almost felt left out. He was usually the planner - the others might come up with the idea, but it was Buster's mind that put the prank in motion, or at least assured that none of them would get caught, backfire and catch one of them, something…

Now, Wakko had apparently gone rogue.

When did the world turn upside down?

"You'll see. We all will the first time we try to drive out of here," he said, turning to look at Plucky and Max.

"Damn it Wakko!" Buster said, panicking and grabbing his jacket sleeve. "Did you plant a bomb?"

Wakko's bombs were dangerous and unpredictable. Everyone else's would fizzle down the fuse before exploding in a cloud of fiery ash. Wakko's would mostly spark wildly, every now and then catching something on fire.

He had almost burned down the set one time. The carpeting in Foghorn's office had a few small scorch marks in it. Wakko was so bad Yakko had forbidden him to practice in the tower unless he was right there with several buckets of water and at least one fire extinguisher on hand.

"Relax Buster," Wakko said easily, shaking his arm free. "You know my bombs don't last long and I'd probably set the woods on fire anyway. I've accepted I can't do them. Now if only Foghorn would so I wouldn't have to listen to him chew me out about not practicing," he said, grimacing like the word 'practice' left a bad taste in his mouth.

Buster prayed his friend was being truthful; California had enough wildfires. They didn't need Wakko helping. Just because a fire started with a toon creation didn't mean it wasn't damaging or lasting.

"Look, Wakko if you're not going to tell me…"

"You'll see in the morning. Consider it a surprise."

_Jerk._

"Are they gonna get hurt because if they are - "

"Damn it Buster I thought you knew me better than that!" Wakko said, looking hurt and annoyed. "I'm mad at them; I don't wanna kill them…OK, maybe a little but…Whatever, go hang out with them if you want. I'm going over here."

"Hold on I didn't mean that!" Buster said, putting his hand back on Wakko's shoulder. "Look, I didn't mean to piss you off; I know you've got enough people on your ass. No, I trust you; I promise I won't go back out."

He hadn't meant to hurt Wakko; Buster doubted Wakko would do that.

Besides, there were plenty of ways to hurt Monty - just shove some random Mrs. Paul product in his mouth and he'd swell up like a blimp.

Plucky? Buster snorted; hide the video game system. The duck would be in agony.

"And you won't say anything to them?"

"If they're not going to get hurt, no," Buster said, still uneasy.

He wouldn't but he didn't like the feeling of not knowing what was happening. But hell, if Wakko was executing some sort of revenge he wanted to watch. Wakko had a damn sharp mind sometimes. And he said the other two weren't going to get hurt. And besides, if he didn't know what was going to happen, it wouldn't backfire and catch him; for once he could actually stay out of trouble.

That thought cheered him up considerably.

"I promise they won't get hurt," Wakko said in a flat tone. "Worse that'll happen is they get yelled at. Trust me I got it much worse."

"Fine," Buster nodded. "So…what do we do now?"

Wakko turned and headed toward the campfire.

"Come on, let's ask them to tell us a story. Put me back on Foghorn's good side, make your Dad happy. Plus we'll be seen behaving for once while they're over there doing whatever…they look like their plotting something. And we'll be going to bed soon anyway; Plucky was right. The nights are kinda boring. The morning should be a blast though."

Buster swallowed at the term 'blast' and prayed that Wakko didn't have something explosive somewhere.

He began jogging after his friend, staring at his back in shock. He had been feeling left out and worried about whatever intelligent and revengeful life form had suddenly taken over his normally happy go lucky friend's body.

Now he was wondering if he should be happy he was ignorant of what Wakko had planned.

XXXXXXXXXX

_What was that? _

_Wind, leaves…giant grizzly bear? _

_Do they even have grizzly bears here?_

_Hell, does it matter? If it's a bear - who cares what type?_

_And Yakko's not in here…_

_OK…he can mallet it or pie it…that's gonna piss some bear off._

_Oh man…He's gonna be bear chow._

Wakko stiffened in the army cot for a moment, nervous, and raised his ears. Not hearing any screams telling him his brother had just gotten mauled for smashing a bear in the face with an apple pie he relaxed.

Slightly.

There were so many odd noises in the woods and he couldn't understand how anyone could fall asleep. In the tower it was almost dead silent; only rarely could they hear any activity on the lot unless the main door was open. At Buster's house he could routinely hear sirens or people calling to each other on the street. Same at Foghorn's.

But he knew what those sounds were. They were usual and familiar and comforting.

These were different. Howls, hoots, screams, moans, scratching sounds; he felt like he was staring in a horror movie.

He swallowed and sat upright. Something was hitting the tent, right outside of where his cot was. He could hear whatever it was scratching the canvas and could see the tent wall moving. He slowly turned and stared at it, hoping it was his brother fooling around.

He had seen Yakko get up and try to sneak out of the tent shortly after everyone went to bed. A nocturnal wanderer anyway, Yakko hadn't put up a fuss but had lain in his sleeping bag, fully dressed for awhile before getting up.

He managed to creep halfway to the tent flap while Wakko watched, huddled in the thick sleeping bag on the cot before hearing Foghorn speak. Yakko had stopped dead in his tracks at the rooster's quiet voice. Kneeling beside the large shadowy form of Foghorn, Yakko had spoken to the rooster in a quiet voice. Wakko had barely been able to make out the conversation.

Yakko had told the rooster he couldn't sleep and wanted to take a walk and wasn't going to wake anyone up to tell them. Wakko had seen Foghorn make a shrug before telling him to use common sense and not go too far. Yakko said it didn't matter how far he went; he'd just have to follow Bugs' snoring and he'd find his way back.

After the brief conversation Yakko had left, much to Wakko's horror. He wouldn't tell his brother but he really wanted him in the tent. Not only for his own safety - after all there were animals in the woods that would probably think he'd make a great meal, but him being there made him halfway comfortable.

Plus he was jealous - he bet he wouldn't have been allowed to leave and just wander around.

Now he was happy he was stuck in the tent. Maybe bears and cougars wouldn't come up in there. He wished Yakko had stayed in the tent too.

He wished Foghorn's tent was smaller; he felt isolated in the far corner like he was. In one of the smaller tents everyone would be a lot closer.

Of course if they were in the smaller tents Yakko and Bugs would be stuck with no place to sleep. Plus Foghorn might not even fit in one of the smaller tents. He snickered briefly at the mental picture he got of the rooster's feet sticking out of one of the little tents before he heard another scratching sound.

Wakko sat up to look around the tent, too nervous to go to sleep. Foghorn had left a lantern turned down low on one of the wooden boxes storing food. It gave just enough light off so Wakko could mostly see where everything was in the tent, but it also cast odd shadows around. But he could tell where Yakko's abandoned sleeping bag was and see Bugs sprawled out on the cot across from him. Foghorn's large form was almost hidden in the deep shadows in the corner of the tent near the flap.

He jumped and turned his head to look at the tent wall next to him at a thump. He then ducked his head into the sleeping bag momentarily when something buzzed by the roof, illuminated by the flickering light of the campfire outside.

He wouldn't tell anyone, but he was scared.

It hadn't been bad before, when the sun was out and everyone was up and running around. The only thing that had been spooking him then was wondering what new taunt or trick Max was going to throw at him next.

Even when it got dark it still hadn't been bad. After their pow-wow where he royally set up Max and Plucky they had all gathered around the fire. And that hadn't been too scary either, listening to Foghorn tell lame monster stories. But he had thrown in a few decent ones, about some of the times he had gone camping before, running into cougars or bears and stuff.

After awhile everyone - with the exception of him and his friends - had determined that it was time for bed. Of course they weren't asked and sure he was a little tired, but it was before his usual bedtime. But there really wasn't much else to do. Even Plucky and Max had put up less of a fuss than expected.

He snorted quietly to himself, trying to snuggle deeper in the large thick sleeping bag and relax. If they really did go back to the Toyota and try to play the video game they'd kill their battery. It wasn't a big deal, anyone could jump the truck, but it might stop the 'Gear Head' comments. Unless they were really stupid and said something the adults wouldn't even know what they did.

Which would be good; everyone heard Jeeves telling them to stay out of the truck.

He winced at a thought; it'd be good for him too. He doubted Foghorn or Yakko would be happy he set his friends up no matter what comments they were making.

He really had to try to think ahead sometimes.

Foghorn had brought two cots; he said if he had known they were going to have guests in their tent he would have brought more. He said that was his fault; he should have known Bugs would blunder it within an hour of arriving.

Bugs hadn't thought it was very funny. Wakko thought it was hilarious though.

But Foghorn had let Bugs sleep on his cot since the rabbit had complained that the ground was hard, even with the sleeping bag and mat underneath it. Bugs must have found it a lot more comfortable though because he fell asleep within minutes of his head hitting the pillow.

Wakko could barely hear the quiet breathing of the two adults over the other noises of the woods. Bugs was muttering quietly in his sleep, laying on his back and stretching a leg out over the side before resuming snoring.

Foghorn was asleep down by the opening of the tent, nothing more than a large dark blob. The rooster had helped him get the thick sleeping bag on the cot and lifted him in, telling him if he needed anything to call before he had settled down himself.

He had also moved the cot farther from the tent wall. He told Bugs to do the same thing but the rabbit, already grumpy said he wouldn't rip his tent and to relax. Foghorn said fine before telling Wakko he'd probably have another laugh in the morning but wouldn't tell him what that meant.

Wakko was startled out of his thoughts when he heard another noise, this time sounding like someone was dropping things on top of the tent. He felt his eyes widen while wishing he could fall asleep like everyone else. If he was asleep he at least wouldn't know something was outside trying to get in and kill them.

He wished Yakko had stayed in the tent because he would just crawl down on the floor to sleep with him. But no, Yakko was probably out hoping he'd see a girl or something. Who knew with him?

He wondered if Foghorn was awake still; Yakko hadn't left that long ago.

He laid back down; he was being stupid. He was eleven, way too old to be scared of a few noises. Even weird, unfamiliar noises that could only be made by some hideous creature that was dragging itself through the campsite and would eat the first one it came across that was awake.

He shot upright after hearing what sounded like the cries of a baby and wondered what a baby was doing in the woods. Then the cries went silent and he sat in shock, wondering if he'd just listened to some kid being eaten. Then the cries came again and he squenched the sleeping bag around himself tighter, like he was hoping it would protect him from whatever was outside.

When something hit the side of the tent he jumped, terrified and tried to scramble out of the cot, not bothering to fully get out of the sleeping bag. He felt himself crashing to the floor, one foot still wrapped in the sleeping bag and thought something had grabbed his ankle and he yelped softly.

Panicked he kicked and reached up, finally yanking the material and freeing his foot. Panting in fear he stared at the tent wall for a moment, still sitting on his rear. When it went quiet again he closed his eyes, happy everyone in the tent was asleep. He'd look so stupid, he was scaring himself for nothing -

When something else hit the roof of the tent he decided he didn't care how stupid he looked. Frightened he crabbed walked away from the wall toward the middle of the tent, wincing at the sound of the tarp spread out on the ground as he moved.

By the time he stopped he was almost directly in the center of the tent, near the pole holding up the roof. Almost whimpering in terror he stared at the tent wall he tried not to let the shadows and various sounds scare him anymore than he was already. But he didn't want to go back in the cot either; it was way too close to the tent wall, which was way too thin for his comfort.

Wakko started when he heard a low rumbling sound, this time sounding like it was coming from the tent and he looked around. It sounded like someone muffling laughter. Worried, he squinted, looking around the tent in the dim lantern light. Bugs looked dead to the world and Foghorn hadn't moved. Nothing else was awake in the tent but him and his stupid imagination.

He held his head for a moment. Not only was he seeing ghosts and monsters and wild animals because of a runaway imagination, his imagination was laughing at him.

He wasn't going back on the cot, that was a given. He needed to find someone to sleep near; he hated to say it but he was scared enough he wanted the added protection.

Yakko wasn't there; he was the logical one to go to. Foghorn was though, and he was large, strong and knew what the hell he was doing which was more than Wakko was going to give Bugs. The way Bugs' day was going he'd likely attract whatever monster was out there into the tent.

Bugs had ripped his tent, burned his carrot, had to do dishes, lost his sunglasses, didn't think about bringing propane for his grill, complained that no matter what his coffee was either very weak or tasted funny, and been pretty much laughed at by everyone. Every time Bugs sat in his fancy camp chair it collapsed on him - unfortunately the first time it did Wakko and the others had been walking by and he blamed them, thinking it was a prank. He really didn't even seem to believe them when they insisted they hadn't messed with his stupid chair.

Bugs hadn't been in a good mood; Wakko doubted he'd be happy if he woke him up because he was scared of a few noises. There wouldn't be room in the cot and while he didn't think the rabbit would yell at him, he would still feel weird going to him.

Foghorn though was asleep on the ground. Wakko eyed him for a moment. He felt silly but he was confident that he would protect him; he always had before. He was an ex-boxer, he could fight and he didn't seem all that worried about being in the woods. He'd done it before and he wasn't scared.

And he didn't seem mad at him anymore, though he had been furious with him earlier, especially after he called Max an asshole. Wakko had managed to convince him he heard wrong but he had doubts Foghorn really believed him. He'd probably never be able to convince him of that again. But he had sat next to him earlier at the fire and Foghorn had been fine.

Maybe he could drag the cot closer to him, or just grab the sleeping bag off it and move near him anyway. No one would know; he didn't need to let anyone know he was moving closer to him because he was nervous…not because he was scared.

And Foghorn wouldn't know; he was obviously asleep.

Wakko looked at him again but couldn't see any sign of movement. He was glad he wasn't going to try to sneak out and play the game; Yakko had been moving with the grace and stealth of a ninja and Foghorn still noticed him. Wakko bet he'd be on him in a minute.

But he wasn't sneaking out; he was just thinking about relocating. Away from the walls that never stopped moving. And they were loud - he couldn't be expected to sleep there right?

It sounded good to him. He didn't have to say he was scared like a baby.

Foghorn would probably wonder why he didn't sleep in the cot though…

Wakko nodded to himself; he could just tell him that it was uncomfortable or something. He didn't have to say it was because he was afraid or anything.

Wakko slowly stood, brushing his hands off on his sweat pants. He swallowed and creeped toward the cot; he could just grab his sleeping bag and put it on the ground, closer to Foghorn. He didn't even need to set up right next to him; he could get near him and that would be enough. Foghorn wouldn't even know that he got up -

"That cot - I say - that cot beating you up boy?"

Wakko yelped at the quiet voice coming from behind him. He turned from the cot to look across the tent. Foghorn was awake and lying on his side looking at him; he could see the reflection of his eyes in the light.

"No…it's uncomfortable," Wakko whispered firmly and trying to think of an excuse that didn't sound too lame. "I can't sleep…It sits weird and I…fell out and - "

"I can see," Foghorn said dryly. "Just threw you right out of it." Moving around he added, "Why don't ya just come on over here boy?"

"Really?" Wakko asked hopefully.

"Can't have you falling out of the cot. None of us will get any sleep with you thrashing around like a monkey plugged into an electrical socket."

Relieved, Wakko tried not to run toward him. At least Foghorn didn't seem to realize he was scared.

Scrambling across the tent, Wakko skidded to a stop next to Foghorn, who simply held the top of the sleeping bag open.

Wakko almost dove in; not only happy to be sleeping near Foghorn but wanting to get under the covers. The rooster had been right; it did get chilly at night. He snuggled in, using Foghorn's arm as a pillow as the crying baby sound came again, further away but still loud enough Wakko winced.

"Cougar boy, just a cougar," Foghorn muttered sleepily, putting his arm around him and pulling him closer. "Just relax; he's a good distance away."

"Right, sure," Wakko said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Just lots of weird sounds."

"You'll get used to them; more relaxing than listening to sirens and people yelling."

_Speak for yourself._

"Now go to sleep…Socket; we gotta get to the next campsite tomorrow," Foghorn said quietly before yawning.

Wakko grinned; he liked his new nickname. Foghorn had given it to him when he was helping him put the new winch and bumper on this truck but it was really the first time he had used it since.

"How come you called me Gear Head instead of Socket?" he asked, trying to stifle a yawn at the same time. "I like Socket even if you don't use it much."

Wakko felt Foghorn shrug.

"I just came up with it the other day boy; I'm not used to it yet. Besides, figured I'd keep Socket," Foghorn said, putting his left arm behind his head. "Sort of like a secret name with us."

"Really? Like a code name?"

_Awesome._

"Yeah, like a code name," Foghorn chuckled. "Told ya every ratchet needs a socket remember?"

Wakko nodded, still pleased. He bet none of the others had a secret name; it was childish and cool at the same time.

When he had asked for his help to put the winch and new bumper on, Wakko had been hesitant. It had been a rotten week anyway. First his harp tutor told him he might have plateaued, meaning he'd never get any better.

He still couldn't do a bomb correctly and was starting to get a reputation as being a firebug on the lot because of the way they would flame up. When the other tutors in the building found out he was practicing them they would immediately begin Fritzing extinguishers and making calls to maintenance to make sure the sprinkler system was recently inspected. Even if they did it he didn't think they needed to make a big deal out of it.

Then he actually worked on a paper for Flemeil - not his usual 'write-some-junk- down-and-hope-for-the-best'. He actually tried and still only got a 'C' and a low one at that. Yakko had even said it was a good paper too; he looked over it before he turned it in.

Discouraged he had told Foghorn about it and asked if he really wanted him helping him with his truck; after all he could mess something up. Foghorn had made a big deal about it, saying he couldn't do it without him and that he needed his help because 'what good - I say - what good's the ratchet without the right socket boy?'

Besides, he said Wakko's hands were smaller and could go and tighten some nuts that he was having problems reaching.

"So if I'm Socket then your Ratchet," Wakko muttered sleepily into his side. Now that he was comfortable he realized how tired he was.

"Uh huh; a socket and ratchet go together, we make a good team working on the cars," Foghorn agreed, sounding like he wasn't bothering to hide how tired he was. "How about going to sleep now?"

"OK," Wakko mumbled before adding, "Wait, what about Yakko? There might be a bear - "

"Relax boy, there's no bear out there and your brother can take care of himself. Probably looking at the fire or something."

"But what if - "

"If I hear - I say - if I hear anything I'll get up and check - OK?"

"OK," Wakko muttered, closing his eyes, warm and content. "Night Ratchet."

He was right. Yakko could take care of himself, he'd be fine. If something happened Foghorn would wake up and help him.

With a snort Foghorn said quietly, "Right. Night Socket."

XXXXXXXXXX

_It's a great big universe, and we're all really puny. We're just little tiny specks about the size of Mickey Rooney…_

Humming the well-known and somehow appropriate at the moment song to himself, Yakko shifted slightly on the large flat stone he had claimed while a gentle wind ruffled his ears. The stone outcropping sat about ten feet off the ground, jutting out of the side of the hill. It was the perfect perch for him; the cars were directly below him, the camp off to the right. He could keep an eye out if anyone - or anything - came up around him or the camp.

But it was just far enough away he felt like he was by himself as he stargazed and relaxed and listened to all the sounds going on around him. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this…rested. At peace.

During one of the few times he and Bugs had not been trading jokes or he wasn't actively trying to drive the rabbit crazy for his own amusement, Bugs had told him he thought a weekend away might be nice, at least for him. While he had been skeptical about the entire outing he had to admit the rabbit was right. This was exactly what he needed; an opportunity to get his head clear.

He didn't have to worry about anything; for once someone else was in charge of everything. He didn't have to watch over even one younger sibling this weekend. Dot was safe and Foghorn would watch Wakko. He and Bugs had pulled him to the side earlier and told him this was his free weekend if he wanted it. No stress, nothing to worry about; the only thing he had to worry about was relaxing and enjoying himself. Everything else was being taken care of.

And it was; hell, he didn't even need to worry about cooking this weekend. The rooster was doing that too. Thankfully; Yakko had doubts about his own abilities to cook something over an open fire let alone Bugs.

He truly didn't have a thing to do but think.

He had briefly tried reading, but the lights given off by both the lantern and the campfire had hurt his eyes and he had quickly given up that idea. There was no television to distract him from his sleeplessness.

At first he had been worried, wondering how the hell he was going to pass the time. He was the only insomniac in the group as far as he could tell. Bugs was usually up later, but he had practically passed out the moment his head had hit the pillow tonight; the bunny had a hard day.

He snorted; Bugs was on his mental 'shit list' anyway.

Yakko hadn't been expecting there to be volunteer rangers - students from the forestry major at UCLA - roaming the park and randomly popping up to check on campers. When he had seen the truck pull up Yakko had assumed that something had happened but Foghorn told everyone to relax; this was customary. Yakko had lost interest instantly, expecting some burly ranger to exit.

When the door had opened Yakko had quickly regained interest; instead of a beefy hairy man it was a slender petite blond decked out in a polo shirt and hiking shorts. He usually preferred tall and leggy and not quite so chesty but he wasn't going to be too choosy; they were away from civilization and any port in a storm and all. At that moment, pretty much any female was a welcome diversion from all the 'maleness' around him.

After talking with the adults briefly she seemed to determine that the situation was under control and Yakko had walked back to her truck with her, ignoring the comments from the younger boys. And she seemed interested enough; he had flirted with her ten minutes and was positive if given a few more minutes he might have gotten at least a phone number from her.

Debatable if it would be the correct phone number or not, but sometimes, in desperate situations, just being able to play the game was enough. He didn't always need to win. Besides he had been in the middle of deciding if chesty might not be more his thing than he first thought.

Unfortunately, Bugs, the bane of his existence at the moment had come by and jokingly asked if he really thought he was going to get anywhere with a college girl. He was still a 'kid'; wasn't even old enough to get his license.

That had brought any further advancement of obtaining her digits to a screeching halt. She had sort of rolled her eyes, said that she should have known, another 'playa' from L.A. and aren't they starting younger and younger out there. With an annoyed glare at him she had driven off.

Yakko knew he likely wouldn't have gotten too far with her…probably…but he could have. And deep down he knew Bugs hadn't been trying to embarrass him.

But he had, and the rabbit had paid.

At some point Yakko would give him back his sunglasses.

And stop screwing with his chair. Who knew taking one little screw out and attaching a string could be so much fun? He could just sit in the bushes and give the string a yank and fold the chair right up on him. If he had thought the tent - something he actually had no control over - was funny, Bugs continuously being folded up in his chair was hilarious. One time he had actually gotten stuck in it and had crawled around with the chair clamped onto his rear end…it was better than any one of his shorts.

To top off the brilliance of his childish prank, Bugs appeared to have no clue it was him. After all, he was the mature one - almost sixteen - the least likely suspect. He wouldn't pull such silly, juvenile pranks. Bugs had instantly blamed the laughing knot of boys around the fire instead.

It was probably one of the silliest things Yakko had ever done, but it was extremely relaxing. Not to mention Bugs had called him a 'kid' - he was simply paying him back for the comment.

He glanced up at the sky again, startled when something flew across the sky, looking like a sparkler without a stick attached and leaving a luminous contrail behind it.

A shooting star.

He had never seen one before and he leaned up on his elbows, amazed. It disappeared behind the tree line, but for the few seconds he saw it he was astonished.

This whole camping thing wasn't that bad; he almost felt bad he was out there by himself and the others had missed it. Then again he didn't know if half the party would even appreciate what he had just seen.

The night had revealed tons of interesting diversions so he hadn't been as bored as he feared. When he had been wandering around earlier he had stoked the fire, then sat by it and watched, amused, as a raccoon had struggled for almost an hour to get in the food coolers that Foghorn and Jeeves had hung in the trees.

The animal had crept up, not noticing Yakko sitting by the fire and had sat on the ground, staring at the cooler for awhile before scampering up the tree. It had them tried to climb down the rope and struggled to undo the knots on the rope.

Yakko had almost felt sorry for it. It had climbed back down to the ground to look at it before repeating the process a few times. He even got a few pictures of it before it had run for cover in the bushes, either frightened by the flash or giving up.

This was exactly what he needed; a week ago he would have been too stressed and worn out to notice the animal. He hadn't felt this upbeat in awhile.

He sat up as he heard a noise; leaves crunching, twigs breaking…then a swear.

"Stupid ass - be quiet!"

"Shut up Plucky; this was your bright idea. I'm fucking tired!"

"Come on, just for a little while. He said it'd be OK."

_You have got to be kidding me._

Sitting on his rock, Yakko raised his ears and waited, sighing to himself.

He should have known, those four couldn't behave themselves for one night.

After a few moments he saw Plucky and Max, wrapped up tightly in their coats come wandering out of the bushes behind the vehicles.

Plucky seemed to be the more awake of the two; he was practically bouncing he was so hyper and Yakko wondered if maybe the duck had been pilfering some coffee here and there too. Max was grudgingly being pulled along, stumbling a few times as he quietly hissed at Plucky to stop yanking on him.

_One…two…_

_OK, where's three and four?_

Yakko frowned. He had Heckle and Jeckle - where were Mutt and Jeff? When the four of them were in the same place they were always together.

He watched as the two boys reached the vehicles and he waited, wondering what they planned on pranking. No way was he letting them start messing with the cars. He glanced at his watch; twelve-o-eight. Didn't these kids ever get tired? And they were camping; they'd have to be up early. They were up before dawn yesterday.

Ding-a-lings.

Watching them, he turned toward the campsite, still not seeing any movement from the Bunny's tent or the Swamp. No way Buster and Wakko would miss a nighttime prank if they could help it. He frowned to himself; maybe those two got caught? It was possible; Buster's father would be well used to dealing with a twelve-year-old. But Jeeves should be too. Wakko was sharing a tent with both Foghorn and Bugs…

OK, scratch that, Bugs was dead to the world.

But Foghorn had woken up when he was sneaking out and he knew he could move quietly. He was almost astonished no one else had woken up, simply because Plucky and Max were about as stealthy as a couple of drunken frat boys.

He turned back as he saw a dim light and watched; the two boys were crawling in the back seat of the Toyota. Yakko shook his head when after a minute he saw a ghostly blue light begin shining and flickering.

He actually scowled at the truck. Nature all around them, sights they've never seen before, the damn heavens above them were putting on a show and they sneak out to play a video game? He didn't know if he should laugh at them or shake them senseless.

He waited and watched a few more minutes and still saw no signs of the other two. He finally sighed, pleased. It was unusual that Buster and Wakko didn't appear, but he was actually happy. His brother was behaving for once; this was hardly the worst crime that could be committed but still, he wasn't involved which meant Yakko didn't have to get involved. Plucky and Max weren't technically his responsibility.

But he knew one of the many reasons he was dragged along into the great outdoors was to help keep an eye on the four. He sighed; sometimes he felt like the big brother to all four of them instead of just one. He was reasonably sure he would feel bad if the two goofs got hurt no matter how annoyed he was at them.

Hustle them off to bed or leave them be?

After a moment Yakko determined he could simply keep a silent eye on the two, make sure they didn't wander from the truck. If they did he could make his appearance known and stop them. If they simply stayed put he could do so as well. Odds were very good that they would be in there playing a video game all night.

Shrugging he laid back down on his rock, crossing his arms behind his head and looking at the sky. Sometimes he forgot it was up there, between being stuck in the city and getting caught up in the drama of his own life. But out there, away from the glow of the city lights and with a clear head he could enjoy it.

Being a city kid his whole life he had never actually looked up and seen an entirely black sky light up with thousands of stars. Sometimes it was nice to view things from a different perspective. He could start to understand Foghorn's love of coming out there.

He felt himself start to relax again.

A loud slamming sound echoed around his perch and he jerked up, rubbing his eyes. He had dozed off.

Brilliant, while perched up on a ledge and with two small children on the loose. He was asking for a broken leg or missing campers.

But the slam was the two stealthy gamers finally calling it a night.

Yakko turned on his rock, which had grown incredibly chilly and watched them stagger back toward the camp. Glancing at his watch again he saw it was now two-thirty-eight. He shook his head and sighed - those two better hope Jeeves didn't figure out what they had been doing. The Brit seemed like a nice guy but also appeared to have a stern interior when need be.

Not his problem of course. And now, neither were the two kids; both were going back inside their tent. Yakko sighed; he'd be the only one up for the rest of the night.

Reaching back in his Hammerspace, he grabbed his flashlight and aimed it at the ground to get his bearings and make sure there wasn't anything down there he needed to be aware of. A decent night would be completely shot if he swan dived into a bear's mouth.

Not seeing anything to cause him worry he jumped down, Chucking himself as he went and landing with a soft 'thud', scattering a few pine needles.

Shivering slightly he headed back towards the tent to check on Wakko and get his coat. Even out in the middle of the wilderness he still had to perform his nightly rounds. It was routine and would kill roughly thirty seconds of a very long night.

Rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm himself he stepped into the tent, silently moving the flap. If nothing else the tent was warm; he wondered if that was simply because there was more people in it or because the canvas held heat better.

Shrugging and not really caring he went to his bedding, digging his coat out and glanced at the cot.

_That little brat._

Annoyed and panicked, Yakko stood, coat in hand. Wakko was gone, his sleeping bag abandoned.

Where the hell could he have gone? He wasn't with Laurel and Hardy out in the truck; he would have seen him sneaking back to the tent.

Damn it he knew he shouldn't have dozed off. He should have kept an eye on him.

Maybe he just went to the 'bathroom' though he hesitated to call it that. Foghorn had some delightful little contraption that entailed digging a hole and putting what appeared to be a bucket over it. Then there was a big tent thing that went around it to give some privacy. When they moved on they were supposed to fill in the hole.

Yakko had taken one look at it and instantly decided to cut his food intake for the weekend. He wasn't nuts about using the gruesome thing himself and had privately agreed with Max. The boy had looked at it, wrinkled his nose and said he was no damn cat, he refused to even consider using a device that would entail 'filling in a hole'.

The other three goons had thought it was the greatest thing they ever saw of course. Nothing said 'funny' to them like a good waste removal joke.

Camping wouldn't be bad at all if there were convenient restroom facilities nearby.

Worried he threw his coat on and headed toward the opening of the tent. He had to find him before he got lost or hurt. Even if he did go there, it was far enough out of sight that Wakko could still get lost.

A stray glance at Foghorn stopped him and he felt himself instantly relax. Wakko was curled up inside Foghorn's sleeping bag, half his head buried under the rooster's arm and just the red tip of his nose visible and catching a few rays of the lantern light.

He smirked; Wakko had probably gotten spooked and ran to the first person he saw that he trusted unconditionally. Well, Foghorn and Bugs did say that the rooster would keep an eye on him to give Yakko a break.

Yakko snorted and went over to them for a second. Bugs made a good choice when he suggested matching those two up. He always wanted to laugh when he saw them together; the giant rooster and the small boy following after him always made for an amusing picture.

Speaking of pictures…

Yakko took his camera out, not sure if there would be sufficient light to get a good image but figured it couldn't hurt. He aimed, focused and snapped off a few shots of the sleeping pair, figuring the worst that would happen was he wasted a few pieces of film.

Even the flash flickering didn't wake them up. It did cause Bugs to stir though; he rolled around in the bunk, one leg splaying off the side before he buried his head in the pillow, muttering about sunglasses.

Amused Yakko left the tent, deciding to put the glasses back where they had been on the sun visor. That should confuse the hell out of da-doo in the morning.

_End Chapter 2_


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Merry Christmas everyone.

XXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 3 – Hitting the Fan

_Insomnia isn't all bad; you get to steal as much coffee as you want._

Yakko crouched beside the fire, lazily stirring the embers with a stick as he watched the coffee pot. He had no idea at first what to do with it and had sighed in relief when he noticed that Foghorn had set it up prior to going to bed. With the grounds already inside the metal filter all he had to do was add water.

He wasn't sure how long it needed to percolate; he hoped that the glass thing on top would give him some indication of when it was done. He jumped when coffee began to loudly splash into the dome and wished they had a regular coffee machine. He was doubtful of how good this coffee was going to be.

Yakko decided to not be too fussy though; no one else was up. Hell, the sun wasn't even up yet. He could guzzle the whole pot if he felt like it and make another one if he wanted.

He leaned back against the log that was behind him and watched the pot as the coffee began splashing up into the glass dome.

The night had passed better than expected; after the goofballs snuck back to bed, Jeeves had stumbled out to use the 'facilities', managing to choke out something that might have been a greeting. He had actually scared the hell out of Yakko - he hadn't expected the man to move as silently as he did, and certainly not while half asleep.

After that fright Yakko had taken a walk, finding a small waterfall. Bored and starting to feel tired he watched the fish for awhile before wandering back to the camp.

That's when he spied the coffee pot - a giant metal thing that looked to be about a hundred years old. He bet it made fourteen cups. He was going to have heart palpitations by the time he was done with it all.

Glancing at the pot then his watch, he guessed enough time had passed and he eagerly grabbed it with the pot holder. He poured a cup and started looking around for the sugar - he was desperate but he wasn't drinking it without sugar.

"Good morning."

Yakko jumped, surprised at the voice behind him and winced as coffee slouched out of the top of the cup onto his hand.

"Ehhhh, hi," Yakko said, slightly disappointed.

He was probably going to lose his coffee now; he had doubts Jeeves would let him sit there and drink it. One of those 'adult' things.

The man had been amused when he was stealing Bugs_**'**_ coffee though…

"Might I have a cup Master Yakko?"

"It's just Yakko, not 'Master'," Yakko muttered. "But yeah, sure."

Shaking his head Yakko handed him the cup he poured with a small sigh. He had told Jeeves a few times now, just 'Yakko'. Not 'Master' anything. His reply was usually something along the lines of 'sign of respect' and 'protocol' and Yakko had wondered if Max ever got tired of it.

"Thank you." Taking a sip and waiting a moment Jeeves asked, "Will you not join me? You did make it."

Shooting the man a grateful look, Yakko quickly poured himself a cup. Still not seeing any sugar he finally shrugged and reached into his pocket; he still had a few packages he had managed to grab the last time they had stopped.

Bugs had looked at him like he was crazy. The rabbit no doubt thought he was putting sugar in his hot chocolate.

Taking a sip Yakko almost fell over; the coffee was stronger than most he had. He quickly added more sugar.

"I am impressed Master Yakko, this is excellent coffee."

"I just added water and heated it up," Yakko muttered.

"Don't be so modest; it is nice to have a fresh cup so far from the usual entrapments of civilization," Jeeves said, gazing out toward the lake. "And I believe we will have an excellent view of the sunrise from this position."

"I haven't watched one in awhile," Yakko admitted.

"I frequently see them," Jeeves said. "I tend to rise early to swim laps prior to Master Montana awakening. I find a sunrise inspiring; it is nature's way of indicating a new beginning. I hope one day Master Montana will appreciate the simple beauty of it."

"I used to watch them, a long time ago," Yakko said. "I never seem to find the time now."

"You should never get so busy and not be able to appreciate the small things around you. The sunrise can inspire you to start the day with renewed energy."

_Wow. Jeeves is a real poet._

"I have not been in the great outdoors since I left England ," Jeeves continued as he sipped his coffee. "Nature in all forms can be a source of entertainment as well as education."

"Did you camp much, in England ?" Yakko asked, curious.

"No young sir, not in England . Before I immigrated to America I served in the royal household. I frequently accompanied the family when they went to Africa on safari."

_Safari?_

Yakko started and stared at the man for a moment before saying, "Wow…how come you didn't tell a story at the fire last night?" He snorted into his coffee before adding, "It would have beat Foghorn's monster stories."

"This is - as they say - Mister Foghorn's show," Jeeves said. "The man has a rousing good sense of imagination and the children looked entertained at his talking."

"Because they have no taste," Yakko snickered. "Seriously, I'd like to hear about that. It has to beat the tale of the Boggy Creek Creature."

"Perhaps tonight," Jeeves said.

He went to say more, but stopped as the flap to the Swamp opened, revealing a sleepy-looking Foghorn. Scratching his neck and looking around, he made his way toward them, stretching and yawning.

Yakko watched him, wondering if he was about to lose his coffee after all. Foghorn was normally laid back; but he was one of the 'adults'. But he usually talked to Yakko as an equal. Hell, he let him wander the woods for the night; Yakko doubted Bugs would have let that happen, the overprotective rabbit would have been hunting him up every hour.

Yakko shrugged; worse case he would take it and he'd have to return to his pilfering it when Bugs wasn't looking.

Who was he kidding? He'd just steal Bugs' anyway. Not only was he getting twice as much coffee, it was amusing as all hell.

Meandering over to Yakko the rooster stared down at him for a minute, one eyebrow raised and hands on his hips. Yakko stared back up at him; if he was going to take it he wished he'd hurry up.

"Morning. How about making me a cup o that joe boy?"

Yakko relaxed; he'd get to keep his coffee.

"You actually get any sleep?"

Yakko shook his head and said, "Yeah, few hours. There was too much going on."

He started telling them what he saw throughout the night, all of them looking interested as Mr. Bunny finally staggered out. He gave Yakko his lop-sided smile as he accepted a cup of coffee and almost fell beside him.

As the group drank, Yakko settled back against his log again, enjoying the feeling of comradery with the three older toons. He liked it, there was no judging about his age, no talking about not letting him drink coffee, they seemed to just accept him into their little group.

He widened his eyes slightly but went silent when they began talking about the younger boys, this time mostly Jeeves and Mr. Bunny. Yakko liked that as well; he got an even better understanding of his brother's friends. Not that he didn't like or trust any of them, but he could see a different side to them, what they were like when they weren't around him.

And it also again said the adults were starting to accept him - not only as an almost adult - but as a caregiver as well. He was very doubtful they would be so candid if one of the smaller boys were around.

They all went silent at a gesture from Foghorn when he pointed, out over the lake.

Turning to watch, Yakko marveled at the brilliance of the sun, slowly rising up over the lake and took another sip of his coffee, happy and content.

"This is nice," Mr. Bunny murmured. "A bit of quite time with the adults before all the boys wake up."

"True," Jeeves nodded. "I enjoy the company of the children, but every now and then it is nice to simply be able to sit and talk. This time is so still and peaceful, it makes you think - "

"What the hell!"

Everyone started and looked up at the yell and the childish laughter that followed it.

Yakko closed his eyes; he recognized the sources of both and knew no good would come of it.

"Why you little - "

Foghorn stood, rolling his eyes at the growled threat that echoed around the campsite. A split second later Wakko barreled out of the tent, just in his t-shirt and sweat pants with a mixture of amusement and fright on his face. Several seconds later Bugs came stomping out after him, arms straight and fists clenched.

Yakko stood as well, wondering what Wakko could have done so early in the morning to put the rabbit in such a foul mood. He supposed he should protect Wakko; Bugs looked like he was about to strangle him.

Wakko ran straight to Foghorn and dodged behind his back before the rooster could get a word out. Yakko watched as Foghorn, caught off guard tried to follow what Wakko was saying as Bugs bellowed about pranks and moisture. Wakko continued to yell about how he didn't do anything. Still laughing and babbling he then began to climb up the rooster's back, grabbing handfuls of feathers and Foghorn's coat as he did so.

"Come here you little - "

"I didn't do anything!" Wakko laughed while trying to sound insistent. "He wet the bed and he wants to blame me!"

"I didn't wet the bed!" Bugs insisted.

"But you got - I say - you got a wet tail rabbit," Foghorn laughed, finally reaching around and grabbing Wakko to hold him on his hip. "Stay still boy, you're gonna rip them feathers out and I need them."

"Thanks to him!" Bugs fumed, pointing toward Wakko. "Or one of the other ones! Some sort of prank!"

Yakko quickly turned to hide his laughter. Bugs did have a soggy tail. The day was off to a good start. And whatever prank Wakko pulled…hell, Yakko would have to ask him. It was actually pretty good.

The others obviously thought so as well. Jeeves stood, muttered a 'pardon me' and quickly went behind a tent, hiding a smile behind his hand. Mr. Bunny was sitting on his log still, laughing and apparently not feeling any need to hide his hilarity.

He watched as Foghorn held a hand up, halting Bugs who was advancing on them. He gently held the fuming rabbit back with one massive hand braced on Bugs' chest.

"Boy didn't pull a prank Bugs - "

"Then you explain this!" Bugs demanded, pointing toward his tail.

"You drank too much!" Wakko said, still laughing.

"Quiet boy," Foghorn said, giving him a small shake while he laughed himself.

"Hey Buster, look!" Wakko yelled as the smaller rabbit stuck his head out of his tent and began laughing.

Buster gleefully said, "Bugs wet the bed!"

"Buster, just…just don't," Mr. Bunny said, trying to stop laughing. "Bugs is already cranky - "

"So give him a bottle!" Buster howled.

"Quiet wise guy!" Bugs muttered before pointing at the chuckling Foghorn. "You set me up!"

"I told ya to move away from the wall Bugs" he shrugged. "Can't blame anyone - I say - can't blame anyone else because you didn't bother to listen - again."

"You didn't say I would get soaked doc!"

"Never gave me time," Foghorn said. "Morning dew will soak these tents; anything that touches them inside gets wet. You stuck your rear end out and got soaked. Might wanna get a towel for that; don't wanna - I say - don't wanna get that fancy leather interior wet."

"I bet you saw it last night and let me do it."

"Rabbit I was asleep - I say - I was asleep and not worrying about where your fuzzy grey tail was at. I bet you'll listen next time…actually, knowing you, probably not. Doing a fine job of showing the kids why they should listen now though."

A perfectly peaceful night, a morning full of laughs…Yakko decided he loved camping. Period. He wondered if he could talk Bugs into coming next weekend.

Still snickering at the fuming rabbit, he reached into his Hammerspace and grabbed the brochures for the hotels. Silently he held them out to Bugs, making a small attempt to hide his amusement.

He failed.

Bugs gave him a nasty look, 'humphed' at the brochures and stomped back into the tent flicking his tail as he did so and muttering about 'being set up by know it all chickens'.

"Well, who's hungry?" Foghorn said, finally depositing Wakko on the ground. "Go get dressed boy; too cold to be running around in a t-shirt." Looking at the others he said, "I can make flapjacks."

"That sounds acceptable Mister Foghorn," Jeeves said. "Though I still have to wake my charges. Might I borrow the pan and that spoon for a moment?"

At Foghorn's raised eyebrow and nod, the butler grabbed the items and went back into his tent. After a moment the woods echoed with the pounding of Jeeves smacking the spoon on the pan and the yells and complaints of Max and Plucky. Beside him Yakko heard Foghorn, Mr. Bunny and Buster start laughing.

Yakko snorted into his coffee again. He glanced at his watch. Bugs' scream had been louder and more shrill than a woman in labor; if they hadn't woken up with that going on they weren't going to be worth a damn.

Couple of goofs; that would teach them to sneak out and play video games.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Bloody fuck - what the hell?_

"I apologize for this Mister Foghorn - "

"It's not Mister - told ya!" Foghorn snapped, looking under the hood of the Land Cruiser. "And don't worry about it - these things happen."

_I thought he said it wouldn't do anything?_

_The stupid Gear Head was wrong._

Montana, standing beside the vehicle with his hands in his jacket pockets turned to look over at Wakko. The Mime was leaning against the Jeep beside his brother and Buster with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

Maybe he hadn't been wrong.

But really, did Wakko have it in him to set someone up. Especially him, one of his best friends? The guy who put up with his goofy ass all the time?

Than again…

Montana thought about that briefly. Wakko wasn't a total fool. And damn it if Wakko set him up he'd put his foot so far up his ass…

"It is an inconvenience Mister Foghorn. I must have inadvertently left an interior light on."

"I can jump - I say - I can jump it, not a big deal. All you Brits get this uptight about little stuff?" He asked, slapping the butler on the back.

Montana shook his head as the rooster lumbered off; the man was far too jovial for the afternoon, let alone the crack of dawn. He could wait until the sun had fully risen before being obnoxiously cheerful couldn't he?

Deciding to ignore Foghorn for the moment, Montana decided to puzzle out what the hell just happened. Wakko looked too damn pleased with himself, while Buster was half-hiding his face in his hands. Something was afoot.

They had played the game and for far longer than Montana had thought even Plucky would be interested in playing. Montana had actually slept for a good portion of the time while Plucky went on playing. The duck had woken him up at one point to inform him he had beat the game.

Feeling that he had done more than his fair share for their friendship that evening by just sneaking out with him, Montana had laid his head back against the door and informed Plucky that if he woke him up again with any game related nonsense he would beat him. He had been quite comfortable in the tent, something which actually had surprised him; the tent had been warm and cozy and he had fallen asleep quicker than he had thought possible.

Plucky had as well, after he managed to get over his fear of being in the woods. Half terrified of the sounds going on around them but not willing to admit it the duck had managed to weasel his way between Montana and Jeeves and been quite secure in his little nest.

Montana had managed to get to sleep, an exhausted slumber to be sure, when Plucky had roughly shaken him awake to tell him he wanted to play the damn game. He had glared at him sleepily; Montana had hoped Plucky forgot about it.

Alas, he had not. Hoping Plucky would forget about a game was about as likely as the Earth would stop spinning on its axis. If something of that magnitude happened the entire world would come to a screeching halt.

Montana had grudgingly agreed to accompany him, mostly because if he didn't the damn duck would no doubt get himself in trouble. If he went along he could at least assure himself that Plucky had a brain with him, even if it was half asleep.

The buzzer had gone off, though unlike what Wakko had said, the system had shut down shortly afterwards. Montana had actually been pleased Wakko was in error; with no system he had been able to drag Plucky back to the tent to get sleep. This trip sucked enough; a lack of sleep would do nothing to improve it. And he hadn't worried about the whole thing shutting down; Plucky said the battery might be dead but no big deal. Wakko had said they would charge themselves and no matter how much they picked on him, Montana would concede that the Mime did know more about cars than he did.

Then of course he had awoken, not to birds singing or an alarm clock, but from the ringing sounds of kitchen utensils being pounded in his ear. The fact that he had awoken still in the woods and not in his bed had been enough of a nightmare, but being woken that way had not helped the situation.

Montana was never an early riser if he could avoid it. Jeeves - unless there was some reason for him to be up early - rarely made him get up before nine. And if he got up that late, it meant he went to bed late the night before. Even with at least eight hours of sleep there was no guarantee that Montana would not be waspish and disgruntled when awoken.

When he had jumped out of his sleeping bag at the pounding, Jeeves had informed him that he had just missed a picture perfect sunrise. 'Just missing a sunrise' - perfect or not meant nothing to Montana other than it was far too early to be awake.

He had finally managed to stagger out to a rather jolly group - with the exception of Bugs. Montana supposed it could have been worse; he and Plucky had been informed that Bugs had woken up with a wet ass. That would have been far worse than having his sleep cut into.

But now, on top of everything else, a dead battery and one Mime coolly watching them. The day was off to a rousingly dismal start.

What the hell was happening?

"Monty!" Plucky hissed, bringing Montana back to his friend. "Come on!"

Montana sighed and allowed himself to be dragged behind the Land Cruiser as Foghorn drove up in his gigantic truck. No doubt Plucky would want to discuss this latest development in minute detail.

"Calm down Plucky," Montana said. "Nothing is going to happen - "

"Did we do that?" Plucky demanded, gripping the front of Montana 's jacket. "Did we break it?"

"I doubt it," Montana said, pushing Plucky off him and smoothing out his jacket. "You heard the rooster. Just jump it, no big deal. It's not like he wouldn't know."

"Yeah," Plucky said in a doubtful voice. "But Jeeves thinks - "

"He's fine," Montana said, frowning. "And the stupid car's fine."

"Your parents wouldn't fire - "

"Good God Plucky take your medicine and calm down. Dead batteries happen…fairly routinely…I think."

Montana scratched his head. He thought it was a normal fixable problem. He'd have to ask Wakko; no doubt the little grease monkey would know.

Odd he didn't know about the battery going dead…

"And besides, I hardly think he will be terminated for a dead battery."

"But now he thinks - "

_Dear Lord, Plucky is displaying a conscience. _

Montana sniffed; bothersome thing. It always got in the way. He would just be cleared on some prank or bit of trouble and he would walk off, pleased at his own brilliance. Than, like a sucker punch it came out of nowhere, very unwelcome, and made him want to do things…stupid things…like confess.

Sometimes he was actually able to ignore the feeling of…guilt and simply carry on. Other times…he shuddered. This would not be the best time to have a bad case of morals.

He tried to push down his feeling of culpability. He was relatively certain that them playing the video game had something to do with this latest dilemma. And yes, obviously Jeeves felt bad for holding the group up five whole minutes, not that anyone appeared to give a flying shit.

But why bother saying anything? They would simply get in trouble, and normally Montana did not go and hunt it up. Routinely it found him, all too often. He gave a glance to the duck; half the time it was because of him.

"Plucky, calm down," Montana said, putting his hand on the duck's shoulder. "Seriously, this is not a big deal. If he was going to get in trouble I would be the first one to say something…as hard as that is to admit," he said, swallowing. "But he's not, and I'm not brining down his wrath on my head for nothing; we weren't supposed to play the game and you were jonesing for your fix."

"But Wakko said - "

"Yes, I have a few words for the Mime when this is over with," Montana said in a dark tone as he remembered his friend's look. "I have no doubt the fool set us up."

"Wakko?" Plucky asked, momentarily looking confused. "You seriously think Wakko could do - "

"Please, the fool has a brain even if he chooses not to use it half the time, and you know he helps set up half our damn pranks." Snorting, Montana muttered, "Several hours of play time my ass."

"Do you - "

"Relax - "

"Relax boy?"

Montana cut his speech as a loud voice spoke over him and someone roughly grabbed the back of his jacket. Plucky let out an 'eep' as a large feathered hand clamped down on his as well, lifting them both several inches off the ground.

_Shit. _

Gasping - mostly because the collar of his jacket was painfully tight against his throat - Montana tried to kick at the Kentucky Fried Yahoo. How dare he manhandle him? And how much had he heard?

Montana looked at Plucky, who seemed on the verge of tears and rolled his eyes. It was unfortunate but Plucky definitely did not have 'nerves of steel'. With the duck not being made of 'sterner stuff', it would again fall to him to try to squirm them out of punishment. If Plucky kept his mouth shut; he was no snitch but he tended to panic easily.

"That's low - I say - that's low, letting someone else take the blame for something you did," Foghorn lectured, still carrying both of them as easily as Montana would pick up a package of crackers.

"We did nothing," Montana argued. "Unhand me - "

Montana cut off as he was unceremoniously dumped in front of the startled Jeeves. A second later a green blob was also deposited beside him. Jeeves raised an eyebrow at them and Montana stared back at him. If he could refrain from looking guilty, they could escape this unscathed. He cut his eyes briefly to look at Wakko who now had a look more of surprise on his face.

Perhaps the Mime didn't set them up. Maybe he didn't know as much about cars as he thought and simply misjudged what would happen. That, Montana could handle; it was also easier to swallow than Wakko actually setting them up. That would be a shitty thing to do to a friend.

"Boys got something to say to ya Jeeves," Foghorn said, glaring down at them.

"Speak."

"Woof," Montana muttered, feeling justified in his joke when Plucky laughed nervously.

"Charming," Jeeves said dryly. "And about the usual engaging conversation I get from him," he added, looking up at Foghorn. "I am sorry but I am well used to this - he is frequently braying like Lampwick after his evening at Pleasure Island . Is there some relevance to the current situation here?"

"Of course not," Montana said. At Foghorn's look he added, "You obviously misunderstood whatever it is you thought you heard."

There. If he refused to speak, there wasn't much that could be done. He hoped the rooster would just let it go, jump the damn truck and they could continue on with this nightmarish ordeal.

"Is that right?" Reaching over and grabbing Plucky by the back of his jacket he added, "What was that about worrying about Jeeves getting fired?"

"Uh - "

"And thinking you two broke the truck?"

Montana wasn't about to speak, not at the looks he was getting from the others, but he tried to subtly gesture at Plucky to be quiet.

"I uh…"

"Speak duck!" Foghorn demanded.

"All right all right we did it we played video games half the night please don't kill me!"

Montana sighed; so much for hoping Plucky would keep his mouth shut. He decided to take over for the talking; this was a matter of honor.

He sighed and began to offer an explanation as he tried to talk over Jeeves, who was now scolding him. He had no proof that Wakko set him up. But while he had looked as surprised as anyone Montana had picked up the gloating attitude that was practically radiating off him.

But no matter what, Montana simply refused to drag his friend down with him.

Besides, if he set him up and Montana figured it out he'd get revenge on his own. As always the adults were to be kept out of it.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Maybe Buster's right - revenge is a dish best served cold. Or at least lukewarm._

Stunned, Wakko leaned against the Jeep, arms crossed and ears raised while he observed his two friends getting their asses chewed out thoroughly. They protested, denied and even tried to blame others without giving names but Jeeves simply talked over them while Foghorn glared. Wakko figured Jeeves was like Foghorn - owning up to what you did and all that - it seemed to be the general gist of their conversation anyway.

He hadn't intended for this to happen but finally shrugged, accepting the situation. It was a nice change; for the last twenty-four hours it had been him getting yelled at. It was time for something different and it wasn't like they - or Max anyway - hadn't been trying to get him yelled at.

He wondered how long it took for the battery to die. By his guess he figured they probably got about an hour or so play time before they got the warning beep, telling them the battery for the vehicle was about to shut down. He just wished he could have been there to see their faces. He wondered if they knew they'd been had.

It wasn't a big deal, he could see them now and they were both cowed, though Max was definitely the more resilient of the two. Both boys were being chastised by Jeeves, who apparently didn't need to yell in order to get his point across.

But, luckily Foghorn's dually had enough juice in its two big batteries to jump the Toyota and not give it a second thought. The big truck's batteries had powered the cooler holding most of the perishable food and his insulin all night, but still started up instantly this morning. His truck was the only one that had that sort of power.

Wakko caught the look Max threw at him and he gave the other boy a cool look. Mission accomplished, don't screw with a Gear Head. Or at least question his 'helpful' advice when offered. He hadn't meant to get them yelled at, but hell with it; now they got to deal with what he had.

"So," Yakko said from beside him, where he was sipping on a cup of hot chocolate. "How much of their midnight game marathon were you responsible for?"

"None," Wakko answered in a flat tone, not even looking at him. "I was asleep. I behaved."

"Right; look who you're talking to sib," Yakko muttered. "Don't try to pull one over on me. Just remember to not let it go too far."

"Nothing to remember; I didn't do anything."

_That you'll ever find out about._

Yakko snorted into the cup but went silent.

"What about you?" Mr. Bunny said, looking down at his son. "Anything to add?"

"I'm quite happy to report that I have no idea what happened," Buster said, looking relieved. "I'm watching right now and still have no idea what's going on."

After a moment of scrutiny Mr. Bunny turned away. Wakko watched in annoyance as Buster grinned and signed a thank you to him for keeping him out of it.

Wakko kicked him. The others could read sign language. Moron .

"We were just bored!" Plucky insisted. "I needed something to keep me entertained! It was late and dull and dark and I needed something to do with my hands!"

"You're too young; give it a year," Yakko snickered. "Then you'll figure out something to do with your hands to keep you entertained in the da - ow!"

Wakko crouched down from instinct as Bugs reached over him and Buster and popped Yakko on the back of the head. Yakko gave Bugs a grumpy look and went back to his drink.

"What does…oh I get it!" Buster laughed before his father smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow - Dad!"

For a moment Wakko shared a confused look with Plucky before the duck went back to petrified mode.

"Well I don't get it," Wakko muttered.

"Thank God for that," Mr. Bunny muttered. "You'll get it in a few years on your own."

"Well for Christ sakes I hope so," Yakko said, taking another sip of his drink. "Because I don't want to have to teach him that - ow! Will you stop?" He demanded of Bugs as he slouched a bit of liquid on his glove at the second smack on his head.

Wakko frowned at the liquid; sure didn't look like hot chocolate. He'd never seen hot chocolate make Yakko so hyper either.

"Watch it doc," Bugs warned, recrossing his arms. "Remember, you're in arm's reach."

"I'm going over there," Yakko grumbled sourly, retreating to where Foghorn and Jeeves were standing and leaning against the Chevy.

"Look Jeeves, just calm down," Max said in a soothing voice while brushing a speck of invisible dirt off his jacket. "Just jump the truck and let's continue on."

"I told you to stay out of the truck Montana - "

"We couldn't help it!" Plucky howled in a babbling voice. "It was right there, so tempting…the joystick called out to me through the dark and I beat - "

"Oh, so Plucky has figured out what I meant," Yakko said sagely before drinking again.

Wakko wasn't sure why everyone else started either laughing or rolling their eyes. Only he and Plucky seemed to be left out of the joke. He'd have to get Yakko to explain them to him later.

Sighing, Bugs gestured toward Yakko and said, "Foghorn, you mind?"

"No problem." Reaching over he smacked Yakko on the back of his head, causing him to spill the funny colored hot chocolate down his chin.

"What - hey no fair! I'm not in arm's reach!" Yakko howled indignantly.

"I got long arms," Bugs shrugged.

"Boy - need to watch your mouth. You're gonna - I say – you're gonna end up with brain damage," Foghorn warned. He directed his gaze back to the frustrated Jeeves, the bored Max and a terrified Plucky and added, "As for it calling out to you…"

Wakko watched, interested, as Foghorn went to the fuse box. After a moment he pulled one out, smirking, and handed it to the amused looking Jeeves.

"Should take care of that problem. Can't run the power inverter without that fuse."

_Oh yeah, they're gonna be pissed._

Wakko shook his head and sighed. Part of him was happy - they had been giving him hell, it was payback. Part of him was upset that he got his friends in that much trouble - it had been unintentional.

Another part of him was worried someone would figure out that he was single-handily responsible for it. He had planted the idea in the other two's head and this seemed to be growing more and more serious. He hated it when a prank backfired.

But, luckily it seemed he was going to get off; no one other than Yakko had looked at him twice, but that wasn't unusual. Yakko always looked at him no matter what the prank was. He always said Wakko was one of the 'usual suspects'.

"Wakko!"

Wakko winced at Foghorn's yell; he was only a few feet from him, there was no need to holler. And he had been paying attention to the conversation; his name wasn't even casually mentioned - how the hell did he figure out he set them up?

"Busted dude," Buster muttered, shaking his head.

"Shut up," Wakko hissed.

Trudging and hoping he wasn't going to get yelled at too bad, Wakko went over to the still glaring Foghorn and swallowed.

_It isn't that big a deal! Just jump the stupid truck and let's head to the next site - _

"Get the jumper cables out of the tool box boy; need to add some juice to this here land yacht."

Wakko blinked before almost collapsing to the ground in relief. He hadn't been caught, Foghorn just wanted his help.

Delighted, Wakko turned to head toward the rear of the truck when he heard Max start muttering as he passed him.

"The Gear Head is the rooster's bitch then."

"AAA isn't doing you much good now is it Silver Spoon?" Wakko muttered back.

Wakko smirked when Max gave him the finger before Jeeves ordered him and Plucky into the backseat of the Land Cruiser.

_Some people don't learn._

Lifting himself up onto the tailgate, Wakko nimbly climbed over the various camping supplies before tripping on a coil of rope. Reaching the large chrome toolboxes he opened the top, familiar with where all the items were kept; Foghorn was anal about where he kept his tools. Wakko had heard countless lectures about 'everything has its place'.

The jumper cables were bulky and heavy and it took him a few seconds to pull them from the box. Using most of his strength he managed to lug them across the bed, dumping them over the side before scampering down the tailgate again. Getting them out was no problem; he'd be damned if he'd say it but getting them back up the bed of the truck was going to be difficult. He supposed he could put the coil around his neck and try to climb up.

Picking up the coil he hoisted them over his shoulder, almost tipping over with the weight of them and hauling them over to the waiting Foghorn.

The rooster took the cables from him with one hand. Wakko watched, wondering when he was going to grow tall enough to actually be able to carry them like that. Yakko kept telling him it was going to happen 'sooner or later'.

"Hold the ends apart boy; don't need them sparking and frying my alternator."

Nodding, Wakko did as he was told, holding the clamps apart from each other while Foghorn hooked up the other end. After he took the other ends from Wakko and hooked them up, he went and started his truck, Jeeves going into the Land Cruiser. After several seconds Jeeves vehicle roared to life.

"Let it run - I say - let it run for an hour," Foghorn shouted to Jeeves as he got out and started to re-roll the jumper cables. " Battery will hold the charge."

Picking up the coil Foghorn dumped it back in the bed of the pickup and Wakko frowned. He figured the rooster would want him to put them away too. He decided to try not to be too upset; they were heavy and he didn't want to climb the tailgate with them.

After a second though Foghorn picked him up as well, swinging him up before putting him in the bed of the truck and telling him to make sure they were put back where they were supposed to be. Wakko grinned and did as he was directed, pleased. He raised his ears though; Jeeves was apologizing again and Wakko shook his head. They were really blowing it way out of proportion.

He frowned again when he heard Jeeves say he didn't know what to do with ' Montana ' anymore and Foghorn said something about they could come up with something to keep them busy.

Not good; when the adults found something to 'keep you busy' it inevitably meant something boring, hard and dirty. And never fun.

Climbing back down he grinned at his grumpy looking brother. Yakko had retreated to the back side of the Mercedes and was warily eyeing Bugs while talking. After a moment Yakko started looking at Bugs' cup and grinned; Wakko wondered when Yakko got so addicted to hot chocolate.

"Get in the truck boy," Foghorn said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Let's head to the next site before anything else happens."

Nodding, Wakko waved at Buster and his brother, Buster waving back more enthusiastically than Yakko.

Climbing in the cab, Wakko buckled himself in and avoided looking in Foghorn's direction. Hopefully he wouldn't question him about the situation. Wakko started to relax as Foghorn pulled out, leading their little convoy out of the clearing and back to the main road.

"You put the cables back where they're supposed to go?"

"Yeah," Wakko said, looking out the window and trying not to answer to quickly. "Everything's put away, campsite's clear, ready to go."

"Quick on answering that question," Foghorn observed. "Even gave me extra - aren't you on the ball?"

Wakko bit his lip. He had to try to respond slower. He glanced over at Foghorn for a moment but the rooster's eyes were watching the road. Wakko went back to looking out his window, watching Buster's truck behind them, the blue bunny's ears visible over the dashboard.

"Awfully quiet this morning."

Wakko shrugged while hoping someone would start talking on the CB. The silence in the truck was making him nervous.

"Got anything you think I need to know about?" Foghorn asked, startling him.

"Um…Like what Ratchet?" Wakko answered, hoping the use of the nickname would distract him. "I don't have anything to say."

_Shit, don't question me. Don't question me. Please don't question me because I don't want to lie to you…_

"OK, you wanna be like that little Socket? How about you tell me about a car battery going dead?"

"It means the car won't start," Wakko answered before thinking. "You just jumped one and you seemed to have the idea well in hand."

"Cute boy," Foghorn said, reaching over and ruffling his hair briefly. "Get smart with me again and see what else I have in hand. What do you know about that car battery dying? Or their little all nighter on that there game consol?"

"I don't know anything," Wakko said. "I was asleep next to you."

"Those two goons seem to be under the impression that after the warning buzzer went off they would still have several hours left to play."

"Huh," Wakko said. "I don't know."

"Seemed upset someone told them that."

"Yeah," Wakko muttered, looking out the window. "Bad information. Buzzer's pretty much the final warning."

"Right. Any idea where they got that bad information from?"

Shrugging Wakko said, "Someone who doesn't know a lot about cars?"

"Or someone who does know a lot about cars and is messing with them."

"It wasn't me." When Foghorn cocked one eyebrow at him Wakko said in an insistent tone, "I didn't do anything."

"Don't feed me a line," Foghorn snorted. "This ain't a fishing trip."

"Uh…yeah," Wakko said, trying to think. "Should have brought fishing poles."

Changing the subject worked sometimes if Foghorn got distracted enough.

"Don't change the subject boy."

Sometimes meant not very often.

"I'm not," Wakko muttered. "I didn't do anything."

"Well a little birdy told me that you said they could play half the night and not hurt the car."

_Birdy?_

Wakko hoped he was talking about Plucky because if Foghorn was actually talking to the damn birds in the woods he was screwed.

And Plucky…did those assholes turn him in?

Wakko was actually stunned. Yes he screwed up, he shouldn't have told them they'd be OK. They all loved to see how much trouble they could get the others in at times, but mostly it was harmless mischief. At most someone would get lightly scolded and that was it. Even on the extremely rare occasion it escalated to more serious trouble, there was usually an understood rule that it wasn't intentional - no hard feelings.

Revenge was likely of course, getting into trouble sucked no matter how unintentional it was. But they never turned anyone in, never.

Wakko had been feeling guilty - Max and Plucky seemed to actually be in real trouble this time. But his feelings of guilt were rapidly disappearing to be replaced with disbelief and annoyance.

"Well, their car wasn't hurt," Wakko argued, slumping down in his seat.

"You're so stubborn you'd argue with a stop sign," Foghorn sighed. "Fine, it wasn't hurt, but did you tell those two that the battery wouldn't die?" When Wakko went to speak he added, "And think real hard before you answer."

Wakko chewed on his lip for a moment; he was obviously caught. He was going to wring their necks. And those two called him a snitch when they first met him? He could see them murder someone and not tell on them; it was a matter of principle. Never bring in the adults, especially if you could handle it yourself.

"Fine," Wakko sighed, resigned to the inevitable. Foghorn was just messing with him now; he obviously knew he did it. "I don't want to lie - "

"Good, I don't want you to - "

"It's not that big a deal!" Wakko said, hoping to at least get his side out and trying to figure out how to word it without looking quite as guilty as he was. "He had it coming!" Wakko said loudly. Muttering quietly he repeated, "He had it coming…he only has himself to blame - "

"But what happened?" Foghorn asked, interrupting Wakko's rambling. "Why would you set your friend up like that? All you did was cause him trouble, and that boy - I say - that boy finds trouble almost as quick as you do."

"I didn't do anything really," Wakko muttered, annoyed that his friends ratted him out. He would never have thought that. "But even if I did…I mean you heard him yesterday! He was trying to get me in trouble, they won't stop with the Gear Head comments - "

"So? Is that such a bad thing? You know how many times I get called that?"

"No."

Why would he? It wasn't like he was with Foghorn twenty-four hours a day.

"A lot - I say - a lot boy! And there's nothing wrong with doing stuff for yourself - "

"It wasn't just that," Wakko fumed before slumping further in the seat and glaring out the window. "He said I should be a ditch digger," he muttered before imitating the other boys speaking. "Why bother wearing gloves, you like getting dirty - "

"Ditch digger huh?" Foghorn muttered, rubbing the bottom of his beak thoughtfully for a moment before gripping the steering wheel as they went over a particularly large hole. Louder he said, "Do you really care what he says?"

"Well, no, not all - "

"Boy's more spoiled than any prince. Does what he say matter that much to you?"

"But - "

"It shouldn't," Foghorn said.

"But - "

"You are what you are, and you like working on the cars. Sometimes you gotta get dirty - I say - sometimes you gotta get dirty, feel like you did any work. Know what I'm saying son?"

"Yeah I - "

"I told you before you got a problem and you don't wanna go to your brother, you come to me right?"

Wakko nodded, giving up speaking for the moment. Foghorn was on a roll. Maybe someday he could get more than a word in.

"So why didn't you just go to Yakko? Or me?"

Wakko looked at him like he had lost his mind. He had never gone to any adult because someone was picking on him. He probably never would. He had a reputation to protect. Wakko frowned; he figured Foghorn would understand that.

"Because I - "

"Come on Socket, use your head boy! Would have been better than getting in trouble!"

"But I'm not in trouble," Wakko said.

He figured Foghorn wouldn't use his nickname if he were in trouble. He looked at the rooster; maybe that wasn't as true as he hoped.

"Oh no?" Sighing Foghorn said, "Now I'll have to find something to keep you and him busy. Not gonna have you two pranking each other the whole time we're up here."

_Not the whole time maybe,_ Wakko thought. _But definitely one more._

Great, now he was going to get 'busy' work - something boring, hard and dirty and not fun.

He wasn't about to let those two idiots get away with this. Hopefully he wouldn't get in much trouble. Foghorn didn't seem mad, mostly irritated, and that usually meant a fairly easy punishment.

But their next stop, Tomas Edison Lake , was over thirty miles away. He cheered up as the rooster continued to lecture him, this time about how he wasn't teaching him to work on cars so he could prank his friends and it could have been dangerous. Wakko let him go on, nodding when it seemed appropriate - he doubted that a dead battery could end up being too dangerous.

With any luck Foghorn might completely forget about it. He did have a lot else going on.

XXXXXXXXXX

" _- and just follow - I say - now go slow and just follow me through this creek we're coming up on. It's a bit deep compared to the other one. Shouldn't be any problem though…well…maybe for Leadfoot but anyone else with a brain will be fine."_

"Oh, you mean the puddle?" Bugs mumbled quietly. "Warn us if we come up on something with more than two inches of water you blabbermouth."

Yakko turned from looking out the window to watch the rabbit, who was rubbing his forehead with one hand while the other lightly held the wheel. Bugs had been muttering comments under his breath since they had left the campsite.

Yakko figured he'd be happier; he had his sunglasses back. Bugs had been extremely suspicious about them reappearing on the visor and had cornered and questioned the four younger boys separately.

Each one had denied any knowledge of his glasses, looked at him like he was crazy before slowly edging away and hiding near the closest adult. Bugs was convinced that one of them was playing a prank and snuck the glasses back into the truck during the night. Just a few minutes ago he had said again he believed it was either Max or Plucky since they were currently 'out of favor' with the group.

Yakko had just grinned and sat back in his seat, amused when he said that. The idea of his student actually playing such a juvenile prank never crossed his mind apparently.

Thankfully the idea that his student had again stole his coffee seemed to never cross his mind either. After having finished his own, Yakko had nabbed Bugs' - again. He was now up to his fifth cup and he was as jittery and nervous as Plucky had been when he and his fellow deviant had been busted.

Yakko didn't believe his brother had nothing to do with it; just Wakko's body language had told him pretty much everything he needed to know. It looked like he was the only one that could read the clues though; no one else had accused Wakko of doing anything. Since his brother had stayed asleep in Foghorn's arms the entire night and there didn't seem to be any proof that he had done anything else, Yakko had let it drop. If Wakko was playing a prank and no one was getting hurt - and he was smart enough to avoid being detected - Yakko wasn't going to kill his fun.

Hell, he was doing the same thing. Bugs wasn't proving to be a very worthy adversary, but he was a very amusing one.

"_Will we need the four wheel drive for this, if it's deeper?"_

"_Shouldn't Shakespeare, long as you stay on this one section of trail and follow it across; the mud isn't bad here; why we came this way."_

Yakko listened as Foghorn continued to talk; the man would say fifteen sentences to get one basic thought across. They'd be at this creek until dark if he didn't get going.

"Oh give me that mic," Bugs demanded, shaking Yakko out of his thoughts.

Startled, Yakko handed it to Bugs, wondering what his problem was. It was a nice day, everyone seemed to be in a decent mood with the exception of Max and Plucky, but they lost their game and didn't seem to be in a good mood even with the game. The radio had been quiet with the exception of Foghorn either calling out warnings or someone asking a question. All in all it had been a fairly leisurely if extremely early morning.

Bugs had that look on his face, like he was about to make a fool out of himself. It reminded Yakko of the look he got right before he determined he could put up his tent by himself. That only worried Yakko because he was stuck in the car with him; he debated on taking the mic back quickly and asking one of the others if he could ride with them.

"Come on already Foggy," Bugs said into the mic when the rooster stopped giving instructions. "This shouldn't take all day - you think we're going to get stuck in that?" Bugs waved his arm at the creek in front of them and snorted. "I've seen birdbaths with more water in them."

"_Better to take our time now than to get stuck - appearances can be deceiving."_

"What about the other trail, on the other side of that rock? It looks easier and the climb on the other side isn't as bad!"

"_Mud is ten times as bad over there."_

We got four wheel drive!"

"_That you don't know how to use," _Foghorn snorted_. "Only mud you've ever seen is a poorly graded country club parking lot; you'd get stuck in a minute. Just trust me rabbit - this way will end up being easier. Unlike you - I say - unlike you I know what I'm doing."_

"Oh do you?" Bugs drawled, settling back in his seat, curling his arm behind his head and getting a very pleased smile on his face. "I seem to remember you saying that a few different times and each time you ended up not knowing what to do."

"_Don't start with whatever it is you're going to start about rabbit - I got plenty of stories about you too."_

"_Can we hear one?"_

"Sure Buster," Bugs said, grinning at Yakko. "I got one on Foghorn; a delightful story of an errant potato, a bet, a broken window and one very mad CEO."

"_You bet I couldn't do it rabbit."_

"I didn't bet on you shooting it through Plotz's window doc."

"_No, I remember you didn't pay up either. You still owe me twenty bucks."_

"Sorry Foghorn, we were to busy running for me to reach in and pay you."

"_That's all right Leadfoot - watching you make a fool of yourself has provided me with at least twenty dollars worth of laughs. Shoulda bet - I say - shoulda bet who could get their tent folded up first this morning; double or nothing…couldn't do that though, what with you destroying yours."_

"_Excuse me…a potato?" _Jeeves voice echoed through the radio. _"Might we hear more of that fascinating tale?"_

"_No."_

"Sure," Bugs said. "Mouth of the South up there said he could make a potato gun; I bet him he couldn't. He actually could - too bad his aim stinks and he launched it right through Plotz's window."

Yakko grinned; he loved stories where someone other than himself or his siblings pissed off Plotz. He wasn't at all surprised it was Foghorn either. He also wasn't particularly shocked that - again - it all had to do with a 'bet'.

"_I didn't expect it to fly like it did, but I did make it. Simple really - piece of tube, a portable air tank and a potato - launched it right out of there."_

"_I see," _Jeeves answered. _"Did you by chance launch the toppings after it Mister Foghorn, or was Mister Plotz required to get his own condiments?"_

"Foghorn ran like a scalded cat," Bugs said happily into the mic.

"_And you were right behind me. And before anyone says - I say - before anyone says anything, I went back and paid for the window. See I - unlike you - can set a good example. Maybe we should change your handle to Cautionary Example."_

Yakko started laughing at Bugs' look and quickly took the mic from him. Bugs might make things worse.

"_If you're done jawing, wanna start following me through? Might be nice to get there before sunset."_

"Yeah, go ahead," Bugs said, grasping the mic back. "You claim you're the expert."

"_If you think you can beat me Bunny, go right ahead. Wouldn't recommend going too far from this crossing though; might get ugly for ya."_

With that final warning, the large Chevrolet began to slowly edge past the creek bed and Yakko sat up straighter in his seat to watch.

It was a nice little creek; Yakko wouldn't have minded stopping there, even if it was only for a few minutes to stretch his legs. The coffee was definitely working on him; not only was he awake, he was feeling hyper. He knew he was fidgeting and bouncing around in his seat, and all of it couldn't be blamed on Bugs' driving.

It didn't appear to be too deep, not from where he was sitting. The last creek had proven to be a little deeper than it had first looked though. The pickup passed to the left of a large boulder sitting in the middle and safely made it to the other side. After the truck made its way through it pulled off to the right on a cutaway under some trees. In a moment, Foghorn opened his door and was standing outside it, watching, Wakko standing on the driver's seat behind him.

"Come on through Shakespeare, that's it, you're doing fine. That Jeep'll make it through with no problems."

They began to slowly roll through the creek, the water barely splashing up the sides it was moving so carefully while Foghorn continued to coach the rabbit through. It kept hesitating so many times that Yakko was almost inclined to agree with Bugs' continued muttering of how long it was taking. He still thought that Foghorn was probably wise to have everyone go slowly, but there wasn't that much water in the creek. From where he was sitting he could probably wade through it and maybe get the hem of his pants wet. Maybe.

He cast a glance at Bugs, who was looking irritated and tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel.

"Just calm down Bugs," Yakko said. "It can't take that much longer."

"It's taking Bernie ten minutes to cross that puddle!" Bugs moaned. "He's one of the slowest moving people I ever met! And I'm out of coffee and if we don't get moving any quicker I may as well just turn the engine off and take a nap."

"Well, Mr. Bunny is almost through now," Yakko said, pointing. "So we're halfway done."

Thankfully; the sooner they got to the new camp site, the sooner Bugs - and therefore Yakko - could get more coffee. He had a vague thought that maybe he should slow down his intake a little bit; he wasn't used to drinking quite as much as he had this weekend but waved it off. What could happen?

"And we've barely used the four-wheel drive!" Bugs said. "What on Earth did we get it for if we aren't going to use it?"

"You got to use it a little bit," Yakko pointed out. "And Foghorn said it gets rougher on the other side of this creek. And you like to say teenagers are impatient?" Yakko snorted.

"_Come on through Captain - that boat shouldn't have any problems."_

The Land Cruiser slowly drove up to the creek's edge, then stopped. Yakko watched as he backed up several feet, then crept forward again. He shot an alarmed glance at Bugs' snort, which was followed by a grin.

"It'll be time to go back before Jeeves ever gets past the creek bed," Bugs said. "What's wrong with that crossing?" He asked, pointing to a flat, worn down trail several yards down, past the boulder in the middle. "It would be easier."

It did; the crossing exited on a less steep bank than the side they were currently on. Yakko debated on pointing out that just because it looked easier didn't mean it was but decided against it.

Shrugging, Yakko said, "Who knows? Foghorn said this was the best way and let's face it, he's the one in the know this time. Just calm down Bugs, we'll get you more coffee soon." Smirking, he added, "You're addicted rabbit; you should seek help for that."

When Bugs cast a long look at him, staring at him from behind his Ray-Ban's Yakko grinned at him. He was confident that Bugs had absolutely no idea he was nabbing his drinks. The way Bugs was with coffee, Yakko was sure he would probably have gotten an earful if he suspected, mostly because the rabbit couldn't replace it right away.

"Well, I'm going around," Bugs said in a no-nonsense tone. "I'm tired of waiting and -"

"What?"

Amusement turning to alarm, Yakko stared at Bugs for a moment before trying to reach for his door handle. He grasped it, intending on throwing the door open and bolting for cover but Bugs threw the car into drive so quickly that all Yakko did was mash a few of his fingers against the handle.

"Calm down Yakko - I know what I'm doing," Bugs said.

"Oh, like with the tent? You gonna rip a hole in the side of this too?" Yakko asked fearfully, grasping the seatbelt across his chest. "Come on Bugs it's not going to take that much longer!"

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Bugs asked.

"Back on the trail that the others are taking!" Yakko howled as the Mercedes bounced past where the trail was, cutting through underbrush and toward the big boulder. "Bugs! Stop! Let me out you damn crazy rabbit!"

"Quiet Yakko, I know what I'm doing. I told you I read that book - "

"You said you skimmed it!"

Yakko cast a glance down at the radio; it had fallen silent when the Mercedes had driven off from the group but now Foghorn's voice was muttering through it.

"_What the fuck is that damn - ow - boy…"_

"_Language Foghorn!"_

"_Cute boy…don't do that again."_

Yakko rolled his eyes at the sound of Wakko smacking Foghorn's head, then his laughter before looking back out the window. Jeeves had barely gotten all four tires in the water and was now sitting there.

"_Rabbit - Hey Bugs will you stop? You're gonna mess up!"_

"You heard the rooster - you're gonna mess up!" Yakko yelled before gripping the dashboard and wondering why nowhere he grasped seemed good enough to keep him safe. "And if you mess up you're gonna mess me up!"

"_Am I to wait Mister Foghorn?"_

"_Nope, you come on through. Bugs, you're gonna sink that vehicle!"_

"Oh calm down Foggy," Bugs said into the mic. "If you hadn't taken so long I would have. Besides, this side is fine. You act like we're crossing the Mississippi . This ain't no covered wagon doc."

"_No, it's a Mercedes. You'd be better off - I say - you'd be better off with the covered wagon. You're as stubborn as any ox anyway."_

Finally snatching the mic out of Bugs' hand Yakko simply yelled 'help' into it before the rabbit took it back.

"_Just calm down boy - you're way too hyper. Hope you know how to swim though."_

_Oh God I'm going to die. It's going to be wet, cold and muddy and I never even got to sit behind the wheel of a car or get my last cup of coffee._

Eyes widened and ears raised in fright, Yakko watched through the windshield as they splashed down into the creek. He relaxed slightly as he watched the water running down the glass; they hadn't plummeted down, the water wasn't that deep, he wasn't going to perish in the middle of nowhere and he would live to drink another cup of joe.

His fear turned to annoyance. Bugs decided to take a little trip off into insanity and just had to drag him along.

"See? I'd think you'd trust me a little more by now Yakko," Bugs said. "Hold on, watch me show this river who's boss. Henny Penny over there is so worried about a few inches of water with his big truck; let's show him what this Mercedes can do. Watch this!"

"Famous last words," Yakko said tightly. "Right up there with 'what's this button do?'"

After a moment though, Yakko unclenched his fingers from the seat, relieved.

Foghorn was wrong. He was sure that wasn't the first time it had happened, just like this wasn't the first time Bugs was right. He felt himself relax more as Bugs gave him a pleased look. Nothing to worry about -

"_Bugs - I ain't joking boy, just stop!"_

"Relax motor mouth, we're fine. Obviously we're not getting stuck - "

Yakko yelped as the vehicle jerked to a stop, making a loud thumping sound as it did so. He was wretched forward, his chest pushed into the seatbelt as his face came within inches of eating the dashboard. Reflexes made him close his eyes just as a large wave of mud and water splashed up on the windshield. With mud coating all the side windows he felt like he was in the center of a chocolate egg.

He wondered if Foghorn liked to say 'told ya so'.

He also had a horrible feeling he was going to end up back in the hospital.

He turned to look at Bugs, who was staring straight out through the muddy windshield in shock.

Yakko had been holding his breath, waiting for anything else to happen and knowing nothing would. The creek was nothing but mud and water, and while messy, it wasn't deep. But the coffee running though his body was making him more wired than normal and he had to restrain the urge to turn and shake Bugs for scaring the hell out of him.

_Breathe in, breathe out…breathe in…stay calm and breathe out. Breathe in…_

He exhaled slowly before yelling, "Jesus Christ Bugs I've lived through one wreck! Are you trying to have another one?" He jerked his head back as Bugs swatted at him and clenched his fist. "I swear to God if you hit me on the head again I'll drown you! We're stuck because of you!"

"If you hadn't yelled while I was driving I would have made it!"

"If you hadn't been driving I wouldn't have needed to yell!"

"Just calm down Yakko! The ass is stuck - "

"No, the ass is driving this car!"

He wasn't quick enough to avoid getting a pop on the head that time and Yakko swore that sometime soon he was going to pop Bugs on the head. With his mallet perhaps or a large sturdy tree limb.

Trying to calm slightly, Yakko slowly turned his head, almost afraid of what he would see. The rear end was angled slightly down, and the vehicle was leaning slightly to the right.

The passenger side. His side. Craning his head he could see the muddy water splashing up on his side of the truck. He tried to calm down; they were mostly stuck in mud; messy but not fatal.

"_You two - I say - you two OK? Calm down son they're gonna be all right."_

Yakko shook his head at Wakko's questioning in the background and Foghorn's tone. He was laughing at them. Well, Bugs, but unfortunately with his being in the vehicle he'd probably also catch some hell for this. Guilty by association.

"No I'm not OK," Yakko growled into the handmic. "I'm still stuck in the car with the half wit hare - "

Batting at Yakko's hand and making him drop the mic, Bugs said loudly, "You can walk you know!"

"Brilliant Bugs," Yakko snapped back, lifting his feet up into the seat as he felt some dampness on his toes. "I'll just open the door and hop out. You know water's coming in my side right?"

It wasn't much, mostly just a seepage, but he could see the filthy tan water leaking in through the bottom of the door jam. On his side. Perfect. If Bugs' driving didn't kill him he'd probably end up drowning.

He had almost decided to not prank Bugs anymore. Almost. With this latest escapade though all bets were off. The rabbit was going to catch it from him as soon as they were out of there.

"What?" Bugs turned to look at him, then the floorboard. "Do something Yakko - I don't want the interior getting wet in this thing!"

"Maybe you shouldn't plow it into the damn river then!"

"_My word…Mister Foghorn…what should I do to render assistance?"_

"_Just roll on out of there Titanic…The rabbit decided to go submarine."_

Yakko snorted at Foghorn's laughing tone. He could hear Mr. Bunny and Buster in the background, along with Wakko laughing and talking.

"_Just keep coming slowly and you'll do fine. You can follow directions….wish some people could."_

"Tell me about it," Yakko muttered.

"Just hush Yakko," Bugs snapped. "I'll get us out - "

"_Bugs? Yakko? Just sit tight - I say - just sit tight. I'll get you two out in a minute."_

"I don't need help," Bugs said into the mic. "Yakko, clean that water up - "

"With what?" Yakko demanded.

"Grab a towel out of the back."

"The car's so lopsided right now I'm afraid to move and get anything!"

" - and I've got four wheel drive," Bugs finished his sentence in the mic, ignoring him.

"_That you don't know how to use," _Foghorn pointed out. _"Just wait before you make it worse."_

"Make it worse…I'll show him."

With that decision, Bugs muttered 'which switch was it again' and Yakko hid his face in his hands. If he couldn't see what was going to happen, maybe he wouldn't be as worried.

Yakko heard Bugs do something and he looked up, deciding to face certain death head on. The truck lurched as Bugs stomped on the gas and Yakko raised his ears as he heard a sickening 'glooping' sound of the mud being churned up under the tires. It sounded like a large beast sicking up right outside the truck.

"_At least don't floor it! I know rabbits are good at digging holes but don't use the truck for it! You'll never get out!" _Foghorn yelled in the mic.

Yakko listened to the splatter of the mud raining the top and sides of the vehicle and sighed. At least the sunroof and windows were all closed. They might be stuck in the mud, but at least his person wasn't covered in it. Bugs better plan on taking it to a car wash before he returned it.

That was of course if there was a vehicle left to return after he was done with it.

"_You're lucky rabbit."_

"Hand me the damn mic," Bugs said. When Yakko handed it to him, Bugs snapped moodily into it, "And whys that?"

"_Because you didn't get mud on my truck; you're spraying it around like a geyser. Will you stop flooring it? The hole's just getting deeper you know. If you had just gently hit the gas you would have rolled out. Now you're stuck and spraying mud all over the forest. Admit you're an idiot and I might be willing to use my shiny new winch to get you out of there."_

"_And once again children, this is why you should listen. If not you end up looking like Bugs," _Mr. Bunny's voice chimed through the radio.

"Damn know it all," Bugs sighed, letting the mic go. "And this thing!" He hit the steering wheel. "The guy told me this thing would climb over the Swiss Alps. This piece of shit couldn't climb over a box of Swiss Miss - ow!"

Yakko reached over at the word 'shit' and smacked Bugs on the back of the head.

Hard.

"What was that for?"

"Language. Doesn't feel good does it?" Yakko smirked. "Now, tell the nice rooster that you're an idiot and get me out of here!"

"Relax Yakko," Bugs said, rubbing his head and glaring at him. "It's not enough water to drown in. You could wade out."

"I know that," Yakko answered before shrugging. "But why should I get all muddy? Let's just let him winch us out." Holding the mic to Bugs he said, "Tell him you're a pompous ass - ow!"

Yakko held his head at Bugs' smack and glared at him.

"I get to do it, you don't." Keying the mic Bugs said, "All right Foghorn, help me out."

"_What was that?"_

"Oh, he's gonna gloat…I'll show - "

Taking the mic from the annoyed rabbit Yakko said, "You're stuck - admit you're stuck! Tell him he's God's gift to the camping world but get me out of here!"

Determined, Yakko held the mic up to Bugs' face, glaring at him and holding the button down.

"Fine, fine! You are the expert when it comes to camping - will you please help us out?"

"What's this 'us'? There is no 'us'," Yakko said, settling back in his seat and relieved that Bugs had said it. Maybe Foghorn would get them out soon. "There is me, the innocent child dragged into the wilderness with a half-crazed da-doo. Then there is you, whose ego was so big they wouldn't listen to the one person who was trying to help them out."

"I'll get you later."

"I doubt that."

"_I'll winch you out, but you're doing the dishes again tonight," _Foghorn said. _"I'm gonna have to get my winch all muddy getting you out. I would say you have to wash that too, but I already know how you treat vehicles. I'll let you pay for a car wash instead."_

"Don't push it Foghorn. Just get over here and get us out."

"_Get over there? Hey ya'll, you here this crazy rabbit? I'm not - I say - I'm not going in there; look at your truck! Muddier than an ATV after a swamp romp. Nope, you gotta get out and get the hook."_

"I'm not climbing in the mud!" Bugs said.

"_Gonna have to do something," _Foghorn countered. _"You're gonna have to hook it at the tow point, which is under the vehicle."_

"How am I going to reach that?"

"_That's you're problem - I'm just throwing the hook out to you."_

"Don't throw it!" Bugs yelled. "You might hit the car!"

Yakko, shaking his head and trying not to laugh overly much at the absurdity of the situation finally said, "You have no choice; you're going to have to go get it."

"You go get it Yakko."

"I must have hit you harder than I thought. Last I checked I didn't drive us into a river of mud, then dig a giant crater to get us even more thoroughly stuck in. Besides, you're the expert last I heard."

"You're pushing it doc; remember, I'm still your tutor."

"And I'm still your student and favorite doo," Yakko said agreeably. "But I'm not climbing in the mud."

Yakko inwardly winced though; he saw a lot of long, boring papers being assigned in the future. When they got back to the lot, he might as well go buy a jumbo pack of pens, an entire ream of paper, and a wrist splint.

"_You plan on doing something today? I know you're the expert and I'm just a hillbilly peon, but I do know that cars don't winch themselves out."_

"All right, all right!" Bugs yelled into the mic. "I'm gonna climb out on the hood, rope the hook and do it that way."

Complete silence answered him on the radio. Yakko wished the windshield wasn't coated in mud so he could see what the others were doing. Probably leaning on each other for support as they laughed themselves silly.

"Maybe I can try one more thing…"

Yakko watched as Bugs grasped the gear shift one more time and felt annoyance replacing his previous amusement. Unclicking his seatbelt he reached over quickly and grabbed the key to the vehicle, turning it and yanking it out before Bugs could even take the vehicle out of park.

"Do I have to be the adult here? Maybe I should - I would have just waited patiently and we wouldn't be sitting here the laughing stock of the woods!" Dangling the keys in front of Bugs' startled face he pointed to the sunroof. "Just admit you were wrong, climb out, grab the stupid rope and please get me out of here! I now have to use the bathroom and believe me, this car - not to mention me - have already been through enough this morning!"

"All right, all right!" Bugs said before muttering, "pushy brat."

Sighing, Bugs unclicked his own seatbelt and opened the sunroof, a glob of smelly, slimy mud landing right between his ears and sat there perched like a small brown derby.

Yakko hid his face in his hands again, laughing. He was actually trying not to laugh directly at Bugs, but was pretty sure the snorts coming from him, not to mention his shoulders shaking was giving it away.

He watched as Bugs pulled his slender body up and through the sunroof before shaking his head. Maybe when Bugs assigned him his next paper he would write it on the wisdom of listening to others, or how pride goeth before the fall or something similar.

Yakko climbed over the center consol to the driver's seat, putting the key back in the ignition as he heard Bugs and Foghorn calling to each other, the otherschiming in with a few witty comments here and there. Snickering at a few of the comments, Yakko looked around for a moment on the dashboard, finally spotting the controls for the windshield washer.

He pushed it, hoping to clear enough mud off the windshield so he could see. He raised his ears, hearing Bugs howling about something and a dull roar of laughter coming from the others. Curious, he stood in the seat as the windshield wipers smeared mud around the glass. As he stuck his head out the top Bugs' angry face shoved into his own.

"What are you doing?" He demanded. "You just shot me in the neither regions with mud and washer fluid."

Yakko tried hard not to laugh, again, at the rabbit as he flicked his tail, trying to get the fluid off. And mud; it was in an interesting place. He would take a picture but Bugs would probably make him eat the camera. He chose to just save the mental image in his mind, to savor anytime the rabbit really annoyed him.

"Sorry, I wanted to see - "

"If you wanted to see you should have come out here and got the hook," Bugs interrupted. "Sit in your seat - which isn't the driver's seat - and don't touch anything."

Rolling his eyes, Yakko watched Bugs turn and slowly creep around the hood of the vehicle. Over on the shore, Foghorn was almost doubled over with laughter while the others were watching, an air of amusement radiating from the group. Yakko waved at them and got a few waves back. Wakko, standing beside Foghorn and holding something, gave him a half-hearted wave before turning to speak to Buster and glaring at Max who was coolly looking at them.

Yakko frowned before sighing; even stuck in the worlds largest mud hole he could see the hostility coming from the two boys. He'd try to talk to his brother again later. If he ever got out of the mud. He looked around; the Mercedes was coated in it. He finally went back inside long enough to grab a towel and a bag to wipe the top down enough so he could safely rest his arms outside the sunroof. He wanted to watch this.

Bugs was trying to avoid getting muddy, Yakko would give him that, but he wasn't being too successful, mostly because everywhere he went was muddy. And the mud was a slick slimy consistency; Bugs was probably going to break his neck. But the rabbit determinedly carried on, trying to lasso the hook from Foghorn's truck with a piece of rope he Fritzed.

Bugs was no cowboy; he kept missing the hook.

"Hurry up Bugs!" Foghorn yelled. "This shouldn't take all day. Just step down and get it - thought you'd seen birdbaths with more water."

"Quiet Foghorn, no one wants to hear your mouth!" Bugs yelled back, again missing the hook.

"Well, he does have a point," Yakko pointed out. "You did sort of rush it."

"If you don't be quiet Yakko I'll push you in the mud. I blame this on you."

"I didn't do anything!" Yakko said indignantly. "I warned you not to come this way!"

"I know, but you're the one that broke my concentration."

_Is that right?_

"Go back inside doc; you're distracting me. Probably on purpose."

"If I was trying to distract you or break your concentration you'd know it rabbit," Yakko growled. "This was all your fault."

"Yakko…"

Yakko glared at Bugs back for a few seconds, annoyed. The damn rabbit was constantly screwing up and rather than admit it he wanted to blame him?

Oh hell no.

This could not be ignored; Bugs was asking for it. The hyper feeling returning, Yakko drummed his fingers on top of the car briefly, thinking. Revenge was in order, but something clever and memorable. This had moved beyond the hiding the sunglasses stage.

He watched Bugs and chose to be happy there were no tent stakes for Bugs to fire off at him whenever he did decide to enact horrific revenge. The rabbit was crouched precariously on the hood, his toes curled around the edge as he again tried to lasso the hook muttering under his breath.

For the scare of crashing into the river alone Bugs deserved to be continuously pranked, but that was Yakko's little secret. He wanted to do something - right now - and let Bugs have no doubt who was responsible for it.

And he knew what.

Smirking, he shot a final look at Bugs' back before carefully going back in the vehicle. Settling into the drivers seat he looked out the windshield, still smeared with mud, but he could still see enough.

He cracked his knuckles, watching Bugs again fail to grab the hook and sliding slightly on the hood in all the mud. Yakko smirked wider, than pressed down on the center of the steering wheel, activating the horn.

He had no idea that rabbits could fly that high. He also had no idea that when they landed, they could spray water and mud as high as Bugs did when he finally came down. Bugs actually caught air for several seconds.

He glanced briefly out of the windshield, seeing most of the group on the shore lying on the ground laughing and smiled, pleased. He stood back in the seat so he could get out of the sunroof. He pulled himself up so he could see more.

He liked what he saw. Bugs looked like a chocolate bunny as he sat on his rear in a large mud hole. Yakko started laughing when Bugs opened his eyes, reveling two white spots on an otherwise brown body.

Yakko strangled on his laugh, knowing that Bugs was probably going to jump up and throttle him at any second.

If only they had filmed this - Bugs would probably win another Oscar for this performance. It would definitely be his funniest short - and no learning a script or rehearsals. Just have someone follow the rabbit around in the woods; hell, he even did his own stunts with no problem. Yakko quickly grabbed his camera and snapped off several photos, watching the whites of Bugs' eyes narrow at him.

"Sorry da-doo," Yakko said in his most sweet voice. "But I told you, if I was trying to distract you or break your concentration, you'd know it."

He was barely able to avoid the mudball that Bugs beamed at him. The second one caught him on the side of his head and Yakko quickly got back inside the Mercedes, closing and locking the sunroof behind him.

Settling back in the drivers seat and trying to catch his breath after such a close call, he listened to Bugs yelling and banging around outside. Yakko felt a violent shiver overtake him; it was like being in the middle of a monster movie. Something very angry was outside trying to get in and while he couldn't see through the mud coated windshield what it was he knew very well that it was something he didn't want to tangle with.

Bugs was going to have him writing papers for the rest of his academic career.

"_Boy - I say - boy you got those long floppy ears of yours on son?"_

Figuring he was the only one with 'long floppy ears' that was potentially anywhere near a radio, Yakko picked up the mic.

"Yeah Foghorn - sorry, the mudman outside was attacking."

"_Wouldn't worry about him son; that mud's so slippery he can't even get his footing. He'll have to crawl on out of there; should be a treat to see. But, the hook's in - throw the truck in neutral and don't touch anything."_

Yakko did as he was directed, feeling the truck give a shuddering groan before it came forward several inches, then stopped. He heard a knocking at the door and he frowned at it, already knowing that he didn't want to see this visitor.

Figuring he had brought it on himself to some degree, he hit the switch to let the window down several inches, enough to get a close up of Bugs' angry face glaring in at him.

"Having fun doc?"

"Oh yeah - think we can go camping next weekend too?"

Yakko winced away from the window at Bugs' look, happy that he had the doors locked. Whenever they got to shore Bugs was going to kill him. He really should have thought the whole thing out better.

He decided to blame the coffee.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"It's a carjacking bee-yeatch," Yakko muttered. "What the hell does it look like?"

"What did you say?" Bugs hissed.

"I believe the naval term is 'mutiny'," Yakko said, deciding not to repeat his answer. He had pushed his luck enough for one day and it wasn't even ten in the morning. "I'm taking over this boat until we reach shore."

Bugs went to move closer to the vehicle, slipped, and grabbed for the door. He missed and arms flailing grabbed the windshield wiper instead. Yakko watched, wondering if he should decide to take pity on the rabbit but before he could do anything, the wiper came loose, and with a strangled screech of surprise it and Bugs went splashing backwards into the muddy water.

Yakko didn't bother to hide his laughter this time, even when Bugs, legs splaying out like Bambi on ice, managed to finally stand, leaning on the vehicle for support.

Appearing in the cracked open window again he demanded, "Let me in Yakko - "

"You're kidding right? You're covered in mud! What about your fancy interior?"

"I'm not having you drive - "

"I'm not driving. I'm just being pulled - "

"Get away from there Bugs!" Foghorn bellowed from the shore. "We ain't got all day to watch you dance around! Looks like you lost a fight with a lesbian mud wrestler! Get out of the way!"

"You heard the man - step back Bugs," Yakko said. "I want to get out of here today. And you look like you could use a nice cup of coffee - and a bath."

Bugs Chucked his arm enough to get it in the cracked window, his hand and arm pencil thin as it reached for Yakko's throat. Surprised, Yakko batted at it, getting mud on his own hands but managing to chase Bugs out. He quickly put the window back up and hoped that one of the others would let him ride with them back to L.A. because odds were Bugs probably wouldn't.

He felt the vehicle give a lurch, then slowly pull forwards again, mostly going straight but slipping a few times and he assumed that Bugs had gotten out of the way. As much as the Mercedes was sliding around, he doubted Foghorn would continue to pull with the rabbit near it.

Hopefully Foghorn would let him ride in his truck; he could hold Wakko on his lap if there was no room in the back seat. But he wasn't sure if his blood pressure could take another day of riding with Bugs.

He prayed that Bugs learned his lesson, he'd think before he acted, and that the rabbit didn't attack like a rabid cougar him when he opened the door. He couldn't stay inside the Mercedes forever, though his temporary prison did have nice comfortable seats.

XXXXXXXXXX

"It didn't take that long."

"But what about all the wires? Where's the hookups and control pan-"

"Underneath."

Buster frowned at Wakko's flat tone as he curtly answered Plucky's barrage of questions. Normally Wakko was happy as hell talking about a car; right now though he appeared to want to use the winch cable to strangle anyone within arm's reach.

Sighing, Buster turned to look at Max, who was leaning against the fender of the Chevy and watching them, trying to not look interested in the winch out but failing.

Buster wondered why he had to have idiot friends. Max and Wakko had been shooting daggers at each other since they got out of their vehicles. They had signed a few filthy words to each other before Wakko had put a pair of work gloves on; they had been too big and floppy on his hands for him to really do much signing after that. Not to mention all the adults not currently submerged in mud were around and no one was stupid enough to get in a fight when they were in earshot.

But Buster had caught enough. 'Snitch', 'asshole', 'rat' and 'set up' were used enough for him to glean that the two would probably go at it at their first opportunity. Plucky seemed to be unaware of what was happening. Or didn't care; unlike Max who was feigning disinterest, and Buster who was only casually interested, Plucky seemed fascinated by the winch. Or how the electronic components were hooked up anyway.

As soon as they had left the Toyota the duck had practically run to Wakko and Foghorn, quizzing them both on how it was hooked up, how it ran, what it ran on and how they worked it. Foghorn had told Wakko to get the control for the winch and plug it into the side of the vehicle. He gave a long winded and loud explanation about how it worked that Buster didn't understand much about.

But Wakko had seemed pleased to be able to run it; he said it wasn't hard, just a few buttons. Foghorn was busy keeping everyone back behind his fender 'in case - I say - in case the line snaps'. And he said with Wakko running the winch he could keep the line straight so it wouldn't tangle up.

Buster had watched Foghorn grab the winch cable line in his massive hands and keep it straight as the Mercedes made its lumbering exit from the river. It had been interesting for a few minutes but he quickly had lost interest and stopped paying attention. He was too entertained by watching his tutor stumbling around like a fool in the mud.

The entire time Foghorn had been gripping the line and yelling out orders while Wakko ran the controls. Up until now Buster had no idea the thing could actually get tangled.

Not that he was terribly interested in winches to begin with. He chose to file the information away, in case he ever wrote a story about a tow truck driver or something. He figured that doing even a bit of research or having a passing knowledge of the subject would make a story more believable.

Buster leaned against the grill of the truck to watch as the Mercedes, finally reaching shore, jerked and rocked onto land, half hidden in a thick layer of slimy tan mud. Bugs, also covered in a layer of mud came up behind the truck, his anger and embarrassment almost radiating off him. Buster snorted, trying to hide his amusement at his Godfather but made a mental note to stay well clear of him; it had been awhile since he had seen Bugs that angry.

Of course Yakko popping out the sunroof and telling Bugs that people paid a lot of money for mud baths and he should be happy he got his for free wasn't helping Bugs' mood. The rabbit, holding a windshield wiper made a move like he was going to fling it at the oldest Warner and Yakko quickly ducked back inside the car, still laughing.

Listening as Foghorn told Wakko to put the control for the winch away, Buster watched Foghorn amble over to the Mercedes. After a moment his father followed with Jeeves, though both stayed clear of Bugs, who was now yelling at Yakko to open the door and waving his arms around, making mud fly in every direction.

Meanwhile, Yakko had reappeared in the sunroof, a white towel tied to his tail which he waved at Bugs as he began to discuss 'terms of surrender'. He was trying to get Bugs to swear to all sorts of odd things before he agreed to open the door, though most of them boiled down to one main thought.

Please don't kill me; I'm just a kid.

"Can I try it?"

"Car's already out isn't it?" Wakko said tightly, not even looking up at Plucky.

"Come on Wak, lemme - "

"Well, a little birdy says that there's nothing left to winch out now so go away."

Buster rolled his eyes. Wakko had managed to choke out to him that Foghorn busted him in his grand set up scheme, ruining the boy's mood. To be fair, Wakko sort of help bust himself. He was the only one that knew a thing about cars beyond where the key went and his lame attempt to 'create an alibi' by sitting around the campfire several hours prior to Max and Plucky sneaking out really didn't fool anyone either.

No matter what though, Buster was doubtful that either Max or Plucky snitched on him. It just wasn't their style.

"But - "

"Give it up Plucky," Max said.

Buster braced; Max was using a tone of voice he was very familiar with. And he had a very familiar facial expression too. It usually meant 'Just so you guys know, I'm about to be a real ass'.

"He isn't about to hand over anything relating to a car to you," Max continued, still leaning against the Chevy and curling his lip into a smirk. "Besides, it looks really complex," he drawled. "Why I bet Gear Head's the only one here who could do the job correctly."

"It's just a few buttons," Wakko muttered, climbing in the cab of the truck long enough to put the control box away and shedding his gloves. Coming back over to stand next to Buster he added coldly, "It's not hard if you know what you're doing."

"Still though, featherhead asked you," Max added, examining his fingernails briefly and speaking in a dispassionate manner. "Plucky doesn't ask advice about things to just anyone, so I'm guessing you're halfway knowledgeable."

"Well no shit," Wakko drawled. "Since Foghorn gave me the control and I helped hook it up, yeah, that'd be a good guess."

Buster stiffened. He had recognized Monty's 'asshole' tone; he could recognize Wakko's as well. All hell was about to break out in these woods.

Dad had quizzed him about this too, if he knew anything about their little drama. Buster had told him, quite relieved for once, that he had absolutely no idea what had happened. Luckily he must have sounded as sincere as he really was because his father had let it drop and said he was quite proud that for once Buster didn't seem to be up to his ears in some sort of stunt.

"Well, not necessarily," Max said, finally looking up from his fingernail examination and staring at Wakko with narrowed eyes. "If you were so damn knowledgeable about this shit, I would have assumed that you would have known that playing a game system would have drained a car battery."

Buster sighed inwardly, watching as Monty leaned against the fender of the truck and waited for a reply.

Here it comes. Monty wasn't fooling anyone. At this point he knew he'd been duped and was no doubt just fishing for proof to start another argument. Buster ran a hand though his ears and waited for one of them to start cursing and throw a punch. Of course then he would have to step in and break them apart before they killed each other.

He was never taking another camping trip - scratch that - any sort of trip with these two again. This wasn't fun or relaxing; this was a disaster.

Wakko leaned against the grill of the Chevy, a sneer on his face and said, "Well what would I know about that huh? I'm just the dumbass that likes rolling in grease and wants to be a ditch digger remember? Course, no matter how dirty or dumb I am, at least I know I'm not a snitch."

Buster winced; if Monty was Yosemite Sam he would have turned red, smoke pouring out of his ears while he bellowed 'Dem's fighting words you gad-durn varmit!'. Thinking about that Buster almost let out a snicker; that would actually be worth seeing.

As things were though, Monty wasn't Sam. His temper could be almost as volatile, but unlike the older star Max didn't always holler and he had no trouble letting lose a few real swear words.

As predicted, Monty took it as the most vile of insults. He uncrossed his arms and stood so straight so fast that Buster was surprised he didn't snap his spine.

Not that Buster was that shocked the boy was angry; calling one of them a tattletale was unheard of. Wakko was looking to start a fight with that statement. Buster wished his friend had just asked instead of accusing him right away.

But if Monty hadn't been a total asshole from the beginning of the trip, Wakko wouldn't have done this…Buster sighed and wondered again why he had to have the idiot friends.

It must be peaceful, being Hampton . Sure, the boy was a dork and hung out with equally dorky kids, but Buster bet he never went through crap like this.

Ignoring Plucky's gasp of shock Max gave a cold look towards Wakko and whispered, "The fuck you just call me?"

Buster looked over his shoulder towards the adults; none of them were paying attention to them. Currently, Dad and Jeeves seemed to be trying their best to not laugh much at Bugs. Meanwhile, Yakko had finally been coerced from the Mercedes and was staying unusually close to Foghorn who wasn't bothering to hide his laughter as he handed Bugs a bar of soap and a towel.

"Guys, calm down," Buster said in his most reasonable tone and sighing when he heard his voice crack worse than usual. He resolved to ignore it and stay calm. Hopefully if he stayed calm he could convince them to settle down. This wasn't worth destroying their friendship over.

He turned to look at Plucky, hoping for some support from the duck but wasn't holding out much hope. Plucky looked stunned as he turned confused eyes from Max to Wakko then glanced over at Buster and shrugged.

Buster shook his head, worried. When shit was hitting the fan and Plucky was one of the sane ones, there was bound to be problems.

"I can't imagine you didn't hear me - "

"It was hard to with the squeal that keeps coming from the rabbit - "

Buster took a breath but ignored the comment. Not worth acknowledging - Monty was obviously mad, was going to take it out on anyone within earshot, and he wasn't bothering to be creative.

In a flippant tone, Wakko continued to speak.

"Those giant ears of yours stick out from the side of your head like the open doors of a car." When Max stiffened again and opened his mouth to speak, Wakko roughly pointed a finger at him and hissed, "Don't bother to deny it Max or are you a liar on top of a rat?" Snorting he added, "Coward. Never thought Skippy would have more of a backbone than you."

Buster tensed his muscles and waited during the brief moment of silence, knowing that this was the instant that generally preceded open hostilities.

There was a pause though, so maybe he was wrong. Maybe he misjudged them, wasn't giving them enough credit and they would discuss their differences in a civilized manner -

He wondered if he would ever get tired of being right.

Buster barely managed to grab Max and give him a shove backwards as he lunged at Wakko, who didn't look surprised. In fact Wakko looked annoyed at the idea of the fight being broken up.

Gripping Max's arm Buster hissed, "Calm down dipshit! I'm not doing dishes the rest of this trip because you want to fight!" When Max turned antagonistic eyes to him Buster added, "Don't get pissed at me - you wanna fight at least don't do it in front of them!"

Buster nodded his head once towards the knot of adults, minus Bugs who had no doubt wandered downstream to attempt to wash some of the muck off himself. He was pleased to notice that at least Yakko was splashing the mud off the Mercedes with a bucket of water, though the air of distain coming from him told Buster he wasn't doing it of his own free will.

"Better be happy the Bunny's here Max."

"Shut it Wakko," Buster snapped, finally releasing Max's arm to turn to glare at Wakko. "Or I'll just step back and let him kick your ass."

"Right - he couldn't hit - "

"Oh that's it, get the hell out of the way rabbit - "

"Look, what's going on?" Plucky asked, his wide dark eyes taking in the situation from behind Max's back with a look of confusion. "I feel like I showed up late to the party and I've been here the whole time."

Buster sent an annoyed look at the duck. Nice of him to finally jump in after he finally got Max halfway calmed down. And wasn't the duck following anything that was said or did he just go to sleep over there?

Buster let go of Max's arm; the boy appeared to at least be calmed down enough that he was reasonably sure he wouldn't attack physically for a moment. Buster was resolved to staying on his guard though; no matter what these two did, he was no doubt going to be associated with it. He didn't want to get dragged down in their little skirmish.

And even though he was pissed off at both of them and would like nothing better than to beat the hell out of both of them himself, he'd hate to see them actually fight each other. The friendship was frosting over in front of his eyes, but given some time and a bit of discussion they'd no doubt go back to normal. Max was almost as tight with Wakko as he was Plucky - this would blow over.

Once a few punches were thrown though Buster wasn't sure. It obviously spoke to how mad they were if they were resorting to throwing punches instead of pies or pulling mallets.

Seeing that Max appeared to be simmering and hoping to get some much needed backup, Buster turned to Plucky. At the same time he held his other hand up, pushing Wakko in the chest and making him take a step back.

"You that clueless Plucky?" Max asked. "The dipshit admitted to setting us up. I told you didn't I?"

"Monty calm down!" Buster said. Turning back to Plucky he requested, "Hey, Duck, you wanna help out here, take a hold of your rabid friend for a minute instead of asking stupid questions?"

Ignoring him, Plucky instead turned to Wakko with a wounded look.

"Monty said he thought you set us up, and I didn't believe him …You did didn't you?" After a moment of analyzing Wakko's face he angrily demanded, "You asshole! What the hell was that for? You do that then want to accuse him of telling on you for - "

"Kill the innocent act Plucky - you play that part as bad as you did anything on Tiny Toons," Wakko growled back. "You're just as guilty as he is or don't you think I know who the 'little birdy' was that ran to Foghorn?"

Buster rolled his eyes again; he had a feeling they'd all be doing the dishes tonight.

"I didn't run to anyone!" Plucky said harshly. "I can take care of myself Inksplot!"

"Right, sure you can," Wakko replied in a condescending tone. "Every time you open that big mouth one of us has to help you - "

"My big mouth has helped your ass out on a few occasions too - "

"He's a damn lunatic Plucky," Max jumped back in the conversation as quickly as he had previously left it. "He backstabs us then just randomly makes shit up. Knew I shouldn't have ever trusted your ass." With a theatrical sigh, Max threw his arm around Plucky's shoulder and added, "This is why you should never have an ex-con as a friend."

Wakko jerked his head back like he had been smacked and Buster managed to restrain himself from reaching out and punching Max. The boy could make some low blows when he got in a mood but that was worse than normal. Wakko never hid anything, not after the initial release in the papers years ago about the Warner Family's past, but Buster knew the boy was touchy about it.

If this started to get personal things were going to escalate from bad to worse.

"Look Monty," Buster said, hoping to alleviate some of the tension. "What he did was messed up, but it's not like he tried to get you in trouble. And yesterday you did sort of ask for - "

"Ex con huh?" Wakko scornfully said. "Ex-con or not at least I hung out with you. You don't have that many friends to begin with Max - watch out or you're gonna lose one of the few you do have!"

"Oh, I asked for it Bunny?" Max said, ignoring Wakko's rants and yanking his arm away from Plucky to turn to him. "Notice you didn't say shit about the felon's treachery!" Turning back to Wakko he added, "And you Lot Boy - every friend you got is standing right in front of you! How many other people were standing right around you when the tabloids were tearing your ass apart?"

"Now wait a damn minute!" Buster said, louder than he intended, mostly because he was stunned at the accusation and wondering how he got dragged in the middle of it. "I didn't know what the hell was going to happen! I barely know where the key goes! How the hell - "

He gritted his teeth when Wakko and Max started talking right over him.

"Oh yeah, and your presence made a big deal!" Wakko yelled back, trying to shake Buster loose. "And at some point I can get off the lot and make better friends! You though, you'll always be an asshole and no one likes a snitch - "

"You call me a damn snitch one more time…"

Buster held on to the jacket sleeve, knowing that he was only counting on the integrity of the fabric to keep Wakko back. He looked like he was about to punch Max in the jaw.

Making a frantic gesture with his ear, he directed Plucky to latch himself onto Max. The other boy was stepping closer to them, pushing up his sleeves and wouldn't deny himself a swing, especially if Wakko was restrained.

"Yeah, you're gonna have tons of friends Wak because everyone loves a backstabber! I've got plenty of friends - "

"What, him?" Wakko scoffed, nodding his head towards Plucky. "Yeah, wouldn't brag about that, having the duckling following you around like - "

"Keep me out of this you two-timing terrier," Plucky grunted, holding Max's arms behind his back. "You and the deceitful rabbit over there can piss off."

"Now hold on Plucky," Buster said again. "I'm getting tired of being dragged into your little scuffle. I told you before I didn't know shit - you ever think Wakko might do something on his own?"

"Might come as a shock to you Duck, but I'm capable of working independently of Buster now and then," Wakko added with a touch of pride in his voice.

Buster rolled his eyes. At least Wakko was proud of his work.

OK, yeah, as far as pranks went it wasn't that bad. He had thoroughly screwed them - as Buster rightfully pointed out earlier when Wakko had been complaining about Foghorn scolding him - but this had gone on far enough.

"Guys, let's take a deep breath, calm down for a little while and - "

"Glad to hear it," Max congratulated Wakko, again cutting Buster off. "Too bad you don't know the meaning of words like 'loyalty' or - "

"Oh, you wanna speak about 'loyalty'?" Wakko asked incredulously as Buster continued to use every bit of strength in him to hold him back.

Buster turned his head, wondering if they had attracted any attention yet.

_Shit._

Yakko appeared to be watching them, now that he was done washing off the Mercedes. Dad, Jeeves and Foghorn were all talking with their backs turned to them, but Yakko's dark eyes were focused directly on his brother. Not good; the oldest Warner wasn't anywhere near as bad as the other adults, but Buster didn't see anything positive coming from Yakko getting involved.

Though Yakko was usually pretty reasonable; maybe him coming over could help. Everyone listened to what he said usually…Buster shook his head. He'd be as bad as Max and Plucky if he waved for Yakko to come over and help them. He still had his doubts about Max or Plucky saying anything. At most Plucky probably inadvertently blurted something out; he was known for that.

"How loyal were you yesterday when you kept trying to get my ass in trouble huh?" Trying to turn and push at Buster at the same time he said, "Hypocrite - you and your damn wingman over there couldn't come up with enough ways to try to get me yelled at - "

_Well, Dad did tell me I was sort of the unofficial leader of this motley array of miscreants; might as well try my hand at it. He did ask me to try to keep everyone calm so this might actually be somewhat pleasant._

"Enough!" Buster said loudly, finally managing to cut Wakko off and wondering why the one who had the reputation as 'the quiet one' was being so damn argumentative at the moment. Noticing that all three of them jumped and looked at him like he had suddenly teleported into their conversation he said harshly, "They're looking - you wanna shut up now and listen to me?"

Wakko turned, saw his brother and seemed to make a reasonable attempt to control himself. At least he wasn't trying to push at him while still hollering at Max; Buster decided to congratulate himself.

"Now look you two, think about it for - "

"Better behave Wakko," Max snidely said, finally managing to shake Plucky off. "Don't wanna get Foghorn and your brother mad again - "

"Max, shut the hell up already," Buster said wearily. "Can't we just talk in a reasonable - "

"You better be happy my brother's here," Wakko interrupted him. "I'd stick close to your butler if I were you Max - "

"As close as you stick to Foghorn, or can I avoid kissing his ass?" Max asked sweetly. "You're attached to him like a cancerous tumor as soon as he shows - "

"But Foghorn isn't paid to spend every single minute he does with me," Wakko said, mimicking the other boy's honeyed tone. "How much does your butler get paid an hour to associate with you since your own family doesn't want to spend time with you?"

_Holy hell - cheap shot._

Buster closed his eyes for a moment, mostly so he wouldn't see Max's face go from a millisecond of hurt before contorting to rage. He debated on just letting them kill each other and diving for cover. Like Max, Wakko could make some low blows of his own, especially when in a highly pissed off state. He had to say though, that was entirely unexpected.

"You fucking asshole," Plucky rasped, tightening his grasp on Max's arms as the boy came forward. "How the - "

"Shut up Wakko," Buster said angrily, finally giving up and smacking Wakko in the back of the head. Maybe enough shots up there would knock some sense into him. "Am I invisible? Do any of you hear me? Or better yet, do you hear yourselves?"

"Oh I hear you Bunny," Max said. "But while you defend Wakko - "

"Defend?" Buster asked, wondering if he was unknowingly speaking a different language - it was the only reason they didn't seem to be taking in what he was saying. "I said he was wrong too - hell I hit him! But with all the shit you pulled yesterday I can see why he would - "

"Yeah, don't think I forgot about all your 'squeaky voice' cracks either," Wakko added in, waving his balled up fist at Max.

Throwing his arms up in exasperation Buster finally declared, "Will you…forget it. You know what? I'm leaving, going next to adults. Beat the hell out of each other, see if I - "

"That's one loyal friend you got there Inksplot," Plucky said agreeably but with a hint of steel behind it. "Turning tail and running - typical rabbit." Moving his gaze to focus on Buster he added, "These two have their own issues, but don't think I don't have my eye on you Buster. I know damn good and well that you may not have done the set up, you knew about it." Releasing Max and taking a few steps to get in Buster's face he added, "Funny - seems like you're the only one not in some sort of trouble. Odd when your little teammate seems to be going down too."

_Oh hell no…the stupid duck's challenging me?_

Leveling his own cool gaze back at Plucky, Buster replied, "Ever think that's because unlike you three, I haven't actually done anything?"

Snorting, Plucky said, "Yeah, sure. You forget who you're talking to. Guess I'm not the only one that plays a shitty innocent."

_Since I'm not playing, I'll ignore the insult…he's just mad, I have to take the high road here, stay quiet, go stand next to Dad, put distance between these three and myself until they regain their sanity…_

Crossing his arms, Plucky asked, "So tell me - did he warn you before he set us up or what?" Frowning at Buster's look he added, "I've covered for you on a lot of shit Bunny - you could have at least hinted, squeaked out a warning, anything. I'm thinking you're as shitty a friend as he is." Lifting his beak he finished with, "While I expect him to go on lying like the shiftless street rat he is, I'd have thought you would have at least apologized by now - "

"Apologized?" Buster hissed, balling his fists for a moment before remembering that he was supposed to be the calm one.

Was this how Leonardo felt? Maybe that's why the turtle wore blue - blue was supposed to be a calming color; obviously it also signified brains because much like his favorite turtle, he was the only one with any damn sense in the group.

He was blue. He remembered that and tried to remain calm…

He just got called a liar. And a traitor. And a shitty friend.

Screw calm.

"Shitty friend? I can't even count the number of times I've had to cover for you." Taking a deep breath and willing himself not to punch the duck's bill so hard it spun around his head Buster continued. "I couldn't warn you about something I didn't know anything about."

"Right - he didn't say a word," Plucky rolled his eyes as he spoke. "And you two just wanted to nuzzle the adults over by the fire last night and weren't actually plotting this whole - "

"You love blaming others for your mistakes don't you?" Buster asked, still managing to stay cool despite the fact that he felt a twinge of guilt mixed in with his growing anger. Plucky was right. He didn't know what Wakko had planned, but he knew the boy had planned something. "If you had managed to pull your brain away from that damn game for five minutes and actually listened to what was going on, you might have noticed you were getting played - "

"You violated our allegiance!" Plucky bellowed, pointing a finger in Buster's chest. Shaking a fist he added, "You were a collaborator in this act of treason!"

Buster felt a sharp burst of laugher well up inside him at the statement and managed to mostly push it back before it burst forth. But the statement told him that Plucky must have finally finished the book on Benedict Arnold and got the report written.

And he had gotten help on the report from Buster. Ungrateful cur.

"You think I'm lying?" Buster crossed his arms again and coolly blew his ear up and out of his face. "I didn't know a thing about what he had planned, though yeah, you want the truth? I knew he planned something - "

"Buster!"

"Quite Wakko, I'm on your side," Buster ordered, deciding to just come clean and make a stand. Maybe Plucky could make another analogy, calling him 'Custer' instead of ' Arnold '.

"I knew it!" Plucky said gleefully.

"Other than checking that you two wouldn't get hurt I stayed out of it, and the way you and the other pain in the ass have been acting, I don't blame him. You wanted to play the game and Wakko simply gave you a suggestion on how to do it. You didn't take into account that the one person you two were antagonizing the entire time was suddenly wanting to help you fulfill your deepest desire. You also didn't take into account that he is the only one here that knows anything about a car beyond the fact that they run on gas - "

"Well, you're wrong actually, there's diesel and - "

"Don't piss me off right now Wakko," Buster warned.

"Right, sorry."

"It's your fault Plucky, you and the Mongoloid. Stop being a whiny bitch about it."

Buster didn't flinch when Plucky came forward another step to push his face directly in his. Buster stood his ground, even as Plucky's hard bill pressed into the soft flesh of his nose. He didn't want to fight Plucky - Max either - but he wasn't going to back down, not on this. Not when he hadn't done a damn thing.

"You wanna say that - "

"Everything OK here?"

Buster inwardly groaned before looking up.

_Fantastic. Dad. _

He wondered how much he overheard.

"Oh yeah, sure," Buster said, hoping his father couldn't sense the unconcealed hostility emulating from the group. "Just having a friendly conversation…uh…about baseball. Uh…yeah…the Cubs stink. And their fans won't face reality."

He smirked to himself when he heard Plucky mutter under his breath. Buster never quite figured out why the duck adored the Cubs - they were the worst team in baseball history and Plucky probably couldn't find Chicago on a map.

Max was a Yankees fan, but undoubtedly there were three reasons for that. They were one of the teams who consistently won, they had a huge bankroll to fund their winning team, and Plucky hated them with a passion.

Baseball season provided tons of laughs for Buster every year; he and Wakko were Dodgers fans and could happily sit back and watch the sparks fly between the other two.

"Oh yeah," Bernie agreed, nodding his head like he was hearing a pleasant tune in the distance before turning his sharp eyes back down to the four of them. "Didn't realize you four were quite that…passionate in your baseball conversations."

Buster fidgeted, wondering when his father was just going to come out and ask what was going on for real. He was well aware his father saw through his lame baseball pretext. And as much as he hated the idea of ratting either of his friends out, he'd be damn if he was going down for this nonsense. If they both would listen to each other for five minutes and apologize for the crap they said it would be resolved.

But when the hell did anyone ever listen to him?

But Plucky…the duck had better make one hell of an apology to him. The duck did annoy him on occasion but this time Buster could safely say he was truly pissed at him.

Buster cut his eyes to the duck briefly, but Plucky's face had gone to one of neutrality, not showing any of the previous anger. He felt Wakko shift anxiously beside him when Foghorn began heading toward their group, Yakko still sticking to his side like he'd been super glued in that position. Jeeves stayed on Yakko's right side so it looked like the boy had an honor guard.

"Problem here?"

"Nah Foggy," Bernie said, waving the rooster off. "Kids are just playing around; now that Bugs has finished putting on his display they're getting bored." Looking down at Buster he suggested, "Why don't you come over to the Jeep and talk about baseball with me for a second? We'll be getting underway again as soon as Bugs reappears."

_Shit. I'm gonna kill all of them. And I won't even go to jail for it; as soon as I explain to a judge what happened he'll give me a medal just for putting up with them._

Buster began to follow his father to the Jeep, wondering what the hell was going to happen to him. He could usually read his father's mood pretty well, and he didn't seem angry or annoyed.

"Boy, come here for a second," Foghorn called. "Gotta get you to help me!"

Buster glanced back at Wakko who huffed and trudged over to the rooster and Yakko while Jeeves came over to hustle off his two unenthusiastic charges. Foghorn picked up Wakko while Yakko handed him the windshield wiper, and the three of them went back to the Mercedes, an irritated but now clean Bugs walking up the creek's bank.

He shook his head as his father opened his door and got in the Jeep and Buster followed, waiting for the inevitable lecture on playing nice. No doubt he would be found as guilty as the other three despite the fact he was the only one who had actually been struggling to stay out of it and try to help everyone get along.

Turning in his seat Bernie asked, "So, baseball?"

"Yeah, right, teams and stuff," Buster said. Sighing, he leaned his head back on his seat, watching as Jeeves held the door open for Max and Plucky while Foghorn held Wakko over the hood of the Mercedes. "They're all so alike but they'll start fighting over the stupidest things sometimes." Muttering he added, "I feel like the sane one in a group of lunatics; no idea why I hang out with any of them."

"Well, it sounded like the conversation was getting a little heated," Bernie said. "Uh…Baseball," he stressed. "Shouldn't get everyone that worked up."

"I know, trust me," Buster insisted, happy his father was simply skirting around the issue. "I tired to tell them that - "

"I picked that up when I was coming over," Bernie said. Looking up out the window and seeing everyone get into their vehicles, he started the car.

"_All right Foghorn all right, I'm a maroon. I promise I'll stay back and listen for now."_

"_Knew I'd get through that thick head of yours eventually. Gonna change - I say - gonna change your handle to Wet-Tail. You can't seem to stay dry for longer than two hours at a time."_

Buster snickered at Foghorn's comment over the radio as his father steered their vehicle in behind the black Chevrolet and they continued on.

"Looks like Bugs is finally calming down," Bernie said. "About time too. Too much more of his arguing and comments and he'd probably start to really anger Foghorn."

"He seemed OK," Buster said. "He gets loud, but he rarely gets mad."

"He's always loud, and even he's got a breaking point," Bernie said. "Though they obviously have very different ways of doing things, they're friends right? And when they start to get on each other's nerves too much they're usually smart enough to get away from each other. When they aren't it falls to one of us to separate them until they can see reason and respect each others…team." With a mutter he added, "Believe me, getting either of them to see reason can be difficult."

Buster nodded, fully believing that both of the other adults could probably be very difficult to talk to when they got in a snit - probably just as bad as Wakko and Monty.

He could also recognize advice when it was given. Dad had a lovely way of picking up his train of thought and rather than derail it for the bullcrap it was, would simply ride it out, even if he was trying to hide something. It had been obvious the others were fighting - himself included - but happily Dad was choosing not to mention that.

Shooting his father a grin he said, "Thanks Dad."

"Just a little thing I do," Bernie shrugged. "I'd hate to see you four screw your friendship up because one or two of them get bent out of shape over a stupid pra - I mean baseball team."

_Nice save Dad._

Buster nodded though; falling silent as his father began to discuss a fight he had once with his mother, back when they had begun dating. He shook his head; whether Coke tasted better than Pepsi - people would fight over the stupidest things. Bernie said by the time they had that resolved they had almost broken up, but in the end for some reason it seemed to make them closer.

But Bernie said Holly was still wrong - Coke would always be better than Pepsi.

Buster chose not to point out that Dad was wrong; Pepsi was better. Way more sugar equals a sure-fire winner.

But Buster thought to himself as he concentrated on his father's story, resolving to apologize to Plucky and Max about not warning them about the oncoming set up. Wakko would probably cool off in the time it would take for them to get wherever they were heading.

Yeah, Max would probably simmer for awhile, Plucky too, but neither of them were totally unreasonable. He would apologize, Wakko would too no doubt since he was at least fifty percent responsible for all this starting. Max definitely was responsible for the other fifty percent.

Of course he would courteously accept Plucky and Max's apologies for being total ass clowns and they could laugh, put this all behind them and carry on with the great adventure in the woods.

If this was an episode of 'Full House', that would be exactly what would happen.

He could envision the laugh track as that annoying creepy 'uncle' guy made jokes amid the apologies while doing bad Popeye impressions and in general being grating on his last nerve. The music would swell as they all hugged, apologized and laughed about how jerk-offish they had been. And if it was too bad he could just change the channel and put on something far more interesting.

But this was real life; he couldn't change the channel and get away. He was stuck and Buster had a growing feeling of dread that by the time the four of them were done they probably wouldn't even be on speaking terms.

In the next twenty-four hours he could hope for the 'Full House' scenario. In reality he saw more of a 'Terminator' motif coming in. They were all going down in a ball of fire.

He was going to lose the three closest friends he ever had because one of them had a big mouth and the other took a prank too far and the duck was just an asshole.

He wondered how bad it was really to hang out with Hampton .

He didn't like cleaning, it would suck.

Camping sucked more though.

End Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: Just so I don't keep getting requests or reminders about 'Family':

I'm well aware it has not been updated in awhile. It will continue to not be updated until this side story is finished. When that will be I don't know; I'm taking my time with 'Friends' and having fun with it since I don't often have the chance to do something like this.

And I do have a life outside of writing fan fiction - I can only concentrate on one story at a time and trust me, I'm having a hard enough time doing that at the moment. But 'Family' has not been abandoned; no need to send me PM's asking me if I plan to continue it or reminding me it still exists. Please just bare with me, and I'll get back to updating it shortly.

Thanks for understanding. And thanks to _LittleTiger488_ and _DancesWithCorpses_ for being my beta readers again.

Chapter 4 – Muddied Waters

_OK, why the hell did we move?_

Frowning, Montana looked around the clearing as he stepped out of the vehicle, wondering if he was supposed to be more thrilled than he was.

After a quick survey, he decided he simply could not muster up any more enthusiasm for their new location than he could for the old one.

This campsite looked exactly the same as the one they had just left. Just as lonely and desolate as the first one, all he saw was dirt, trees, another big ass lake, some rocks and grass. There was absolutely nothing different. Moving meant nothing more than they would have to set up the entire campsite again, as if the first time wasn't hellish enough.

So basically, Foghorn and the others had just made more work for everyone. Brilliant.

Stupid chicken.

Sighing, he sent an annoyed glance towards the rooster who was ambling around his truck while happily singing 'Camptown Races', showing just how uncreative Foghorn was. Montana had hoped at some point the rooster would sing something different. He felt his eyes narrow and his mood go from annoyed to angered when he saw his former friend pop up and start following the rooster around like the dumb puppy he was.

He had almost been willing to forgive Wakko. Almost.

In hindsight, Montana had to concede that Buster did have a certain point; he had been a bigger pain in the ass than normal. He had no problem admitting it; if Wakko had wanted to plan revenge, he could respect that. He supposed he deserved it, though he felt Wakko went beyond what was required.

And while he would never admit it, he was almost proud of Wakko. Under normal circumstances Wakko would usually fire back a few smart assed comments, a pie or two might be thrown, and it would be let go in favor of finding a new target to antagonize. He had actually impressed Montana , something not easily done.

He had actively gone out of his way to turn the tables on him, showing Montana that in fact Wakko was extremely capable of plotting revenge. Montana was almost stunned to find that the other boy actually had a breaking point.

Who knew?

While he was still annoyed that the other boy had set him up, if it had been done to anyone else he would have found it hysterical. It wasn't a bad plan. Much like Plucky, Wakko couldn't cover his tracks to save his ass, but he could come up with some pretty good pranks.

He hadn't even been that angry that the game system was now pretty much out of commission. He had some vague idea that the fuse the Dixie Fried Dumbass pulled out of the car powered it, but he really didn't understand how or why, and cared even less. While a bit of a let down, it wasn't the end of the world. Of course Plucky acted like his spirit was broken because he couldn't play, but Montana silenced his complaints in the truck with a look. Jeeves was in an unusually foul mood.

Not to mention the stupid duck was probably going to end up with Carpel Tunnel Syndrome by the time he was fifteen if he kept it up; the break might actually do him good. He was supposed to be there to help Montana keep his sanity intact through this excruciating experience, not to beat his current high score.

No, Montana decided he could have even eventually accepted all that. He would have swallowed the entire episode slightly better if Wakko had offered an apology for getting him in trouble instead of attacking him. How dare he accuse him of being a snitch? He had never told on anyone in his life.

And Wakko - or rather Buster - claimed that he hadn't intended for them to get in trouble. Apparently Wakko had needed to show off his superior mechanical skills since he didn't have anything else going for him.

But what infuriated him…

Montana inhaled, getting angrier as he thought about it. The sheer gall of him.

Wakko, with the background he had, daring to make a crack about his family? Montana snorted at the ridiculousness of it. Say what he would about his parents, at least they weren't dead from drink and drugs or in jail with a criminal record long enough to stretch the length of ToonTown.

"What now?" Plucky said, grudgingly coming to lean against the fender of the Toyota beside him. "We spend another night sleeping in the dirt?"

"Appears to be the plan," Montana replied moodily, sending a nasty look in Wakko's direction which the boy returned. "The only saving grace is this is the last night. If there is a God we will both be in our own beds tomorrow night and this will be nothing more than an unpleasant memory that will hopefully fade, given enough time and several years of therapy."

Before he could continue on Plucky muttered a few words so filthy that Montana was taken aback. He looked up to see what had earned his friend's ire now and spotted Buster beside his father, carrying a few supplies and looking like he was having the time of this life.

Which he probably was; the rabbit seemed to be the only one not in some sort of trouble. While Wakko had said Foghorn had figured out it was he who had set up the brilliant plan of attack - with no help from anyone - Montana noticed that the Mime didn't appear to be in trouble either. Montana thought it seemed a bit unjust; he was the one that started the entire mess.

If nothing else, this trip had shown him exactly the type of guys both his former friends were. While angry, Montana was secretly a bit hurt too. Thanks to this stupid trip he had lost two close friends. He focused on them both for a moment, discreetly giving Wakko the finger before looking at Plucky.

As tacky as it had been to point out, Wakko was right. He didn't have many close friends. His normally volatile sarcastic personality didn't encourage many people to get close to him; Plucky was the first, and he had been a misfit himself at the time.

Montana knew he had many acquaintances - people he genuinely liked and didn't mind spending time with if they happened to be in the same place, such as a function. He would talk to them but he didn't routinely go out of his way to associate with them simply due to lack of things to talk about or any common interests. He had a shorter list of people he had no inclination to even say 'hello' to, let alone buddy around with. There was a short list of people he perceived as enemies.

But there were very few people he counted in the friends category.

He supposed he could count Babs and Elmyra in his friends listing. He liked both girls, though they could just as easily be counted as acquaintances at the moment. Too many conversations lately had centered around asking if he thought 'so-and-so' liked them or if he thought they looked better in blue or green or whatever color caught their attention.

If he had to listen to Elmyra moon about her 'cuddle head' one more time he was going to blow chunks. And he absolutely refused to pass on her 'tell my cuddle head I miss him' messages. If she wanted the 'cuddle head' to know that, she could tell him herself.

Babs had suddenly wanted to know if her ears looked better down. In what he could only look back on as a moment of insanity he had honestly told her she looked stupid with them down. As far as he knew, she was a rabbit - they were supposed to be up.

She had gotten defensive because some rabbits have them down and blah blah blah and then gone on to quiz him about his thoughts, reasons, and if Buster ever mentioned her. Montana had been sorry he said anything and vowed to never do it again. Let her walk around looking like her ears were broken; what the hell did he care?

His thoughts drifted toward Mary; she fell into a whole special section reserved just for her. Definitely more than an acquaintance. Not a friend though; there were some things she just simply didn't need to know, or that he would never tell her or do with her. Some things were reserved just for friends.

But his friends category was now short two members, and the shortage upset him. He cast a long glance at Plucky and managed to not cling to the duck for a moment. The other two didn't matter, not anymore. This was the one he needed to watch out for. The thought of losing Plucky too actually gave him a momentary sick feeling of desperation.

Normally the thought of losing Buster or Wakko would upset him almost as bad, but right now he was too angry to really concentrate on those feelings. Besides, they had shown what sort of friends they were; a backstabber who went after the cheapest blow he could and a traitor.

And not only the cheap shots, but accusing him of snitching on him on top of it? It was intolerable.

Wakko better cling to that rooster like Gollum to the One Ring because as soon as he was out of the rooster's reach Montana was kicking his ass. He promised himself that and felt his mood improve slightly, sort of like a little reward for making it through the last twenty-four hours.

And Buster better not get in his way; the mood he was in he'd steamroll over his ass too. Or hand him off to Plucky; he seemed especially pissed at the bunny. He was hoping to hear Plucky scream that it was 'Rabbit Season' at some point.

"If you two are finished with your sulk and glaring contest, perhaps you would be interested in helping me secure our spot?"

Montana wheeled around to look up at Jeeves, currently towering over them and studying them with a wry look.

"As you can see, everyone else is actually contributing to the set up of the camp."

Montana looked around briefly, he supposed that was true, though Yakko looked like he was trying to do anything that would keep him far away from Bugs. He was actually helping Foghorn put up that monstrosity of a tarpaulin he called a tent. Bugs was leaning against his vehicle like he was exhausted with his arms crossed and a pout on his face, so he technically wasn't helping.

Maybe he was though; the rabbit had proven to be about as helpful as Mr. Bean, especially after that little stunt in the creek. Montana would venture a guess that the rabbit was not tired; he had proven so ineffectual at the most minor of tasks that having him stay out of the way was probably a bigger asset than him offering assistance.

Wakko was doing…something.

Montana studied him for a second, trying to figure it out. Wakko, small spade in hand, appeared to be digging a hole in the middle of the campsite. No, he was not digging a hole. He basically looked like he was scraping the topsoil off the ground and maybe getting rid of some leaves. After a few seconds of thought he guessed the boy was preparing the fire pit; it had been in the center of the prior site last night. He didn't look delighted doing it but Montana smirked to himself, pleased. He was right; Wakko would no doubt make a fine ditch digger.

"Would you two like to assist me in setting up the tent?"

"You managed to put the tent up yesterday Jeeves," Montana said, waving the man off with a yawn and mentally cursing Plucky for dragging him out of bed last night. "I'm sure you can accomplish the task today as well."

"I figured today you would actually assist instead of just watching."

"I didn't watch," Montana admitted with a shrug. "Why the hell should I have?"

He studied the man briefly, feeling a small spark of annoyance at him he managed to half-heartedly push down. If wasn't totally Jeeves' fault he was fighting with his friends, though Montana did place a large portion of the blame on him.

If he hadn't dragged him out in the woods, he wouldn't have been in a foul mood. If he wasn't in a foul mood he probably wouldn't have screwed with Wakko…as much, though the game had proven to offer several hours of distraction. And if he hadn't been screwing with Wakko, then he wouldn't have done the set up…

So many 'ifs'. But again, maybe it wasn't all bad. It showed Wakko - Buster too - were people that he perhaps didn't need to associate with.

He turned his back on the butler as the man sighed and began to pull items out of the Toyota. Wakko was right about one thing; Jeeves was the butler. The butler was hired help; a paid employee.

Montana mulled that thought around in his head briefly while Plucky continued to bitch and moan under his breath. He had never really thought about it, but Jeeves was paid to deal with him. He was nothing more than a job to him. He silently cursed at Wakko for pointing that out. When it was not thrown in his face it was frightfully easy to ignore.

He had no delusions; he knew Jeeves was not his family, though most times he tended to forget that fact. After all, family wasn't paid and he did have a propensity to look at the butler as his one family member. The man was a pain at times, but he was the one constant in his life. With a very few exceptions when he was very young, the man had been there for every important event in his life.

Montana had just never thought about him being paid for it before. He wondered if he was paid well, or if he got medical benefits. Did he get a vacation? Thinking back, Montana couldn't really remember Jeeves ever leaving to go do anything.

Foghorn was paid to teach Wakko; just like any other tutor on the lot he collected a salary, though like most of the bigger stars, he didn't charge much. He didn't really need to. It's not like many of them were hurting for funds. Hell, half the Looney Tunes cast would bleed money if they were cut open.

But the other stuff they did, like Bugs and Foghorn and this inane camping trip, they obviously didn't collect money for. This was 'extra'. They wanted to be there associating with their respective students. They didn't charge a fee for their companionship.

He cut his eyes to Jeeves, wondering if his parents paid the man extra for this type of nonsense. He needed to ask that during one of his father's brief visits; if he was, he really needed to tell him to stop. In this situation it was definitely a waste of his money.

"Perhaps you wish to assist your friend then?" Jeeves asked, coming behind him.

Montana moodily looked up, briefly being pulled from his thoughts. Frowning at Jeeves and wondering what he was talking about now, he looked up and saw Wakko was done with the scraping of dirt and was currently carrying around a large rock, building a small circle of stones around his shallow hole.

Buster, not to be outdone in the ass kissing, was also lugging a rock around, talking to him.

"Golden boy never misses a chance to try to outshine everyone else," Plucky muttered very quietly.

Hoping he didn't sound too dramatic, Montana sighed, "Well, my friend is standing here beside me doing nothing. But if he were to require help, you can be sure I would gladly offer assistance."

"Master Montana, while I am not sure what transpired between yourself and the others. Remember who your friends are. It is not everyone that would put up with - "

"Look Jeeves, just back off and set up the tent or whatever," Montana snapped, surprising himself and Plucky, who gawked at him. "You have already managed to ruin my weekend and drag me out here with minimal difficulty - "

"Minimal?"

" - if you think I'm going to actually assist you further in this quest to test the limits of my patience, think again," Montana finished, ignoring the man's incredulous tone.

"And you are dangerously close to discovering the limits of mine," Jeeves said, his tenor developing a hard edge. "I confess I am at a loss of what to further do with you. It appears that no matter what angle I try; you continue to be discontented with any situation, constantly rebelling. You could not even stay out of the vehicle one night and not play a video game despite my asking you to."

Montana felt Plucky shift beside him. No doubt the duck was feeling guilty, having another moral episode or something. Plucky need not worry though; he refused to pin the entire thing on him regardless of whether Montana wanted to play or not.

"Well, since you refuse to consider the most logical idea I suppose you will just have to deal with it," Montana challenged. "Unless you have regained your senses and wish to return home?"

"I refuse," Jeeves replied. "I still insist that you attempt to participate and believe you will enjoy yourself if you actually let go of this attitude you have been displaying. I noticed you have managed to annoy two of your friends already with your current disposition."

Montana felt like battle lines had just been drawn between himself and Jeeves. He stood to his full height, which still wasn't anywhere near the butler's before feeling Plucky grab his jacket sleeve.

"Calm down," Plucky muttered quietly, giving his jacket a tug. "Not his fault, not really."

Montana managed to nod before feeling Plucky release him and sent a silent thank you to his friend. The duck stepped back to the other side of him and leaned against the vehicle where he watched warily, staying uncharacteristically silent.

He frowned to himself, debating with the idea of just ordering Jeeves to take him home. He was the help, and while he officially worked for his parents, it seemed like some of that authority would extend to him.

His parents were indifferent to him, but they didn't hate him that he was aware of. Obviously they didn't; while they themselves were too busy living their lives to not want to deal with him, they had managed to hire a butler who was willing to fill the parental void in his life.

Probably for a tidy sum.

He thought about it for another second before deciding against trying to order Jeeves to do it. When he was younger he had tried to order Jeeves to do something a few times, like get him a drink or do his homework. It inevitably ended up with Jeeves telling him he would get farther if he asked instead of ordering like some royal prince.

Not that it did him any good; he had asked very nicely several times and Jeeves still had never done his homework for him.

He wasn't sure how the butler would react this time; better to save that as his trump card.

"When we get back Jeeves, remind me to check and see what medical benefits my father has set up for you," Montana said in a dismissive voice. "I believe that you are in dire need of seeking professional mental health."

"You boys - I say - you boys need help?"

Montana rolled his eyes, not needing to even turn to see who interrupted them. The man simply had no sense of decorum. They were obviously having a conversation; couldn't he keep that gigantic beak of his to himself for longer than ten minutes?

"We require no assistance Mister Foghorn - "

"Last time it's not Mister!" Foghorn insisted. "I work for a living."

"I shall strive to remember that," Jeeves said huffily, pausing to run a hand through his hair and looking unusually flustered at the interruption.

"Be quicker getting that tent up if you had help," Foghorn remarked, cutting his eyes briefly toward Montana and Plucky before staring back at Jeeves. "Got a few other things that need to be done, firewood gathered, water brought to the site before we can relax and go swimming and exploring and such."

"Perhaps he should grab his protégé if he wishes assistance in such menial tasks," Montana grumbled resentfully under his breath to Plucky. Looking toward Wakko and Buster he added, "He looks well on his way to a life of manual labor."

"Are you insane?" Plucky quietly hissed, eyes widening in surprise.

"Please," Montana snorted, carrying on and half wondering if the duck was right. He normally didn't speak so rashly around the adults but shrugged it off. "If they need work done they can grab one of them. I don't have to do that sort of work; I have a butler, let him do it. He gets paid for this sort of stuff."

Not true exactly, but screw it. It should be. Maybe he would try his hand at ordering Jeeves to gather the firewood. He was the one that wanted to come out there.

The duck gaped at him like he had completely lost his mind. Montana simply looked back at him, forgetting for a few seconds that Plucky wasn't party to his prior thoughts. He shrugged it off; Plucky wasn't a simpleton, he could figure it out.

If not, he would explain it to him later, when the adults were not around. Plucky was his usual sounding board and was used to listening to Montana 's rants about anything that annoyed him. Hell, he had to do the same thing with Plucky; the duck frequently complained about his parents and their pushy attitude when it came to his 'career'.

Some small part of his mind told him he was being completely unreasonable and taking it out on people who weren't responsible for his current predicament. He chose to ignore it. Being a sarcastic pain in the ass who was feeling sorry for himself was surprisingly consoling.

Noticing that Plucky was staring at both the adults now, Montana turned, wondering what fresh hell had caught his attention.

Lovely, both of them were staring down at him like they wanted to kill him.

Actually, that was mostly Foghorn, which was a bit worrying. After all, who wanted a six foot tall rooster pissed at them?

Jeeves was giving off the air of one highly insulted, with perhaps at bit of annoyance mixed in.

Montana supposed it was a bit shocking for the man; he rarely got that disrespectful but brushed it off. This had gone on long enough.

"You did want to come out here Jeeves," he reminded him in a mocking tone. "How hunting through the woods finding sticks and setting up primitive shelters is supposed to help me on my road to manhood I'll never know, but I refuse to have anything further to do with this." Watching as the man stared at him with an unbelieving look, Montana decided he had pushed his buttons enough for the moment and decided to finish with, "If you need firewood or some menial chore done I suggest you do it yourself."

Montana braced, preparing for an argument and fully expecting Jeeves to have some witticism to respond with. Instead the man stood stock still for roughly three seconds before his jaw began to work convulsively, as if he were searching for words. Montana had seldom seen him be that stunned and decided to enjoy the show.

He then quickly backed up, grabbing Plucky's jacket and dragging him along. Jeeves had been jolted out of his shock and had taken a step toward him.

Montana was many things; a fool wasn't one of them. Jeeves rarely lost it; normally reserved with an unflappable disposition, the few times he had lost his temper Montana was well aware he deserved it. This was definitely one of those times. Grimly he steeled his nerves; Jeeves looked like he was about to blow his top.

Surprisingly he didn't, mostly due to Foghorn grabbing his arm with a hint of sympathy briefly passing over his features.

"Come on with me for a minute Captain; gotta suggestion for ya and I bet it's better than what you're thinking of doing."

_Oh good heavens, he's going to be helpful again._

Montana frowned as the rooster threw his arm around the butler's shoulders like they were comrades and walked the man off, talking quietly. He watched them for a few moments, the rooster running his beak nonstop while Jeeves nodded a few times in a jerking motion. After a few seconds he visibly relaxed, hoping that the two would forget about him for a few moments and leave him be. After all, there were no more fuses left to pull and there was simply nothing else left they could do to him.

Montana stiffened when they both turned to gaze at him and Plucky for a moment with matching looks of cunning. The duck gave an audible gulp before nervously looking at him.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

"Take a wild fucking guess," Montana muttered. "I can only surmise that they are plotting against me. They look like they're discussing us like a couple of laboratory animals."

"It's the damn rabbit's fault," Plucky said testily, leaning against the Toyota before allowing himself to slip down to the ground, crouching in the dirt. Picking up a small stick and nervously scratching some lines in the Earth he added, "I can't believe either of them. This has been the most miserable experience of my life. I'm sorry I came."

"It could be worse. You could have accompanied your family on Petey's audition," Montana said, hoping to bring a little levity to the situation. He needed Plucky to stay halfway chipper; if Plucky got too downtrodden it would do nothing to improve Montana's mood.

Plucky sighed, a hint of resignation in his voice when he said, "Way Mom and Dad are they'd probably try to make me try out too. I suppose being here's better than being forced to try out for some babyfood commercial."

"Babyfood?"

"Kraft Macaroni & Cheese in 'ABC' shapes," Plucky snorted in a derogatory fashion. "Luckily I was deemed too old to belt out the 'blue box blues' theme which was the only reason I was granted permission to come along on this hellish little quest."

Crouching beside him Montana nodded but didn't reply; he knew the story and there wasn't much he could say that had not been said already.

Plucky's parents pushed both their sons mercilessly. Along with their many other flaws, they were stage parents of the worse sort. Montana shuddered to think of what they might have done had Plucky not been granted a part on 'Tiny Toons'.

Now growing older, they had been trying to push Plucky into other roles but were taking a more active interest in his younger brother, forcing him into auditioning for roles he wasn't even interested in. It was not even like the family needed the money; while the Duck family was not on the same economic ring as his family or the McDucks, they were hardly paupers. They did like the prestige of having a 'star' in the family though, and had no problems pimping out their sons to get it, whether they were interested in a role or not.

It helped explain the mallard's towering ego though; most of the time he was being told how great he was now, where when he was younger he was constantly picked on for his speaking patterns. Montana supposed he just liked the constant praise.

"Whatever," he muttered quietly, looking at Plucky for a moment before turning to gaze at Wakko and Buster again. Figuring he'd try to say something to cheer the duck up he added, "I'm just glad you're here suffering through this with me. You're my only means of support during this incarceration - it makes it almost bearable."

Plucky got a conceited expression on his beak at the words and Montana relaxed. It wasn't as if he didn't mean the words; he just rarely said anything that…nice, to Plucky. The duck knew he liked him; Montana figured he didn't have to say it every time he opened his mouth.

He resolved to tell the duck every now and then he appreciated him sticking with him though; the look on his face almost made it worth it.

Not too often though; anytime he said anything complimentary to Plucky it started one thing.

Bragging, and lots of it.

"My shining presence will do that," Plucky agreed smugly. "No matter what the situation, I'm usually able to help people through. I'm just glad you appreciate me sticking with you through thick and thin."

_What a load of bullshit._

Montana thought about smacking the duck with his mallet hard enough that he'd be incoherent until noon but decided against it. Without Plucky he would have no other support since his two former compatriots were obviously no longer to be talked to or trusted.

He looked up again at them, Wakko on the ground kneeling, Buster beside him talking earnestly about something. Montana started when they both turned to look at him and Buster had the audacity to attempt a small smile and Wakko turned his head, not meeting his eyes and looking embarrassed.

And he should.

Montana sighed. Wakko was an idiot, almost droolingly so at times, but he was a close friend. Maybe, at some point he would forgive him - the trip might be somewhat more tolerable if they all weren't at each other's throats. If Wakko offered a really good apology - very serious asskissing in other words - Montana figured he might consider forgiving him.

Someday.

That crack about his parents and the butler was a jack off thing to say. Wakko would have to grovel a little. But Montana decided he would eventually allow the Mime back into his good graces, along with the bunny.

Friendship was a tenuous thing; they should really have handled it with more care. Montana sighed, admitting that he wasn't entirely blameless. It wasn't like he hadn't thrown out a few low blows himself and done some wounding of feelings.

Fine, the friendship was damaged, not broken. He inhaled; no doubt Buster would try to arrange a parley between the two warring parties and try to have everyone talk. If the rabbit hit him at the right time with enough pretty words he would at least listen. If given enough time to cool off Montana figured he was a reasonable toon.

If he could get Plucky to shut up for five minutes he would no doubt be able to talk him into getting over his snit with them. Strange, usually it was Plucky trying to calm him down; Montana almost snickered at the reversal.

Deciding that in his head, he continued to look at them for an additional few seconds before turning towards Plucky. He hadn't mouthed anything or signed something nasty to them; they would no doubt understand the gesture. Approach cautiously and with enough pleading and they would talk.

Plucky meanwhile was continuing to talk about one of his favorite subjects - himself. Montana barely refrained from rolling his eyes as the duck droned on.

Then he did roll them when he saw two shadows engulf both him and Plucky. He turned as Plucky went silent and suspiciously looked up at Jeeves as he towered above him with a look as implacable as an iceberg.

"Come along you two," Jeeves ordered in a voice so sharp it could shatter glass. "Mister Foghorn has suggested an activity that will keep you both entertained for awhile."

Montana figured this did not bode well as Jeeves put one hand on his shoulder and another on Plucky's and began to steer them towards the trees.

Foghorn was the type that routinely went out and hunted up misery and hardship and discomfort in the woods. Whatever he 'suggested' to keep them 'entertained' was no doubt going to suck.

He was more assured with that reasoning when he saw the rooster prance off with all the grace of an under inflated blimp towards his truck. After a moment he pulled out two shovels from the bed along with a large piece of canvas and Montana blinked.

They weren't going to murder them were they?

No matter how disinterested his parents were in him he was absolutely certain they would not approve of that act. He hoped Jeeves was not counting on a bonus this year if that was his plan.

Still whistling his pointless tune, Foghorn waved for them to follow him into a deep clump of trees on the path heading towards the lake. Having seen his fair share of horror movies Montana immediately stopped walking, even while Jeeves continued to gently push on his shoulder.

He briefly looked around the camp, hoping that at least one person would come to their senses and rescue them. Yes, he was a mouthy pain in the ass sometimes, but really, was it worth killing him for?

He heard Plucky start whimpering and Montana sent an alarmed glance at the other boy. This was insane; he was not going to allow these two to -

"Keep walking Master Montana - "

"Oh my God, they're gonna kill us!" Plucky hissed. "Can they do that? I'm way too - "

"You are not being harmed young sir," Jeeves answered him brusquely. "We are merely giving you something to do with your hands. That was the problem for both of you last night, am I correct?"

Montana gave Plucky a withering look even as he felt himself relax, relieved that Jeeves had said that and it was the duck who had to say something and not him. If nothing else, if they were going to kill them, Jeeves would have said so; the man refused to lie about anything. Jeeves began to propel them rather stumblingly along again toward where Foghorn had disappeared when the comments that Montana knew some idiot was going to say started.

How surprising; it was the real bigmouth of the group. And he had originally been happy that the boy was coming? What had he been thinking?

"Dead man walking!"

Montana sighed in a longsuffering manner at Yakko's shouted joke. He turned to glare at the teenager who was now leaning on the Mercedes beside Bugs with a large grin on his face. Montana felt his mood instantly lift though when Bugs, not even looking over at Yakko smacked him upside his head. His indignant howl was like a particularly lovely madrigal being sung for his pleasure.

He spotted his two former friends looking at him wide-eyed and he returned their stares with a cool look of his own. No matter what happened, he was resolved to walk the plank with his dignity intact.

Never let them see you sweat.

He would not beg for mercy, he would not cry…

He was going to kill them. Sharing a glance with each other, they both stood, clicked their heels together and saluted them.

Acting patently unscathed, he gave them the finger, not bothering to be discreet.

"Stupid fucking bunny," Plucky mumbled. "I hope I can use that shovel to dig a hole to bury him in. Preferably alive."

Montana nodded, deciding he liked that idea before turning to look up at Jeeves.

"Before we go too much farther, I do get the customary last meal and cigarette don't I?" Max asked, reasonably sure that he probably wasn't being marched off to his doom.

He was happy he said it; Jeeves looked insulted again. But really, what could he expect, silently marching them off into the woods with shovels and a large chicken?

"If he gets a cigarette, I demand a blindfold," Plucky chimed in.

Montana breathed a sigh of relief; Plucky was cracking jokes, no matter how lame. That meant he wasn't scared stiff, meaning he wouldn't be totally useless in whatever fresh torture lied ahead.

"And don't mess up our faces," Montana added with a wicked grin as Jeeves gave him a gentle shove. "Our parents will no doubt want open caskets. You understand though that you will probably not be invited to the service."

Montana stumbled when Jeeves gave him a firm smack on the back of his head. He rubbed the sore spot and scowled up at the butler, preparing to let him know exactly what he thought of that maneuver.

Seeing Jeeves' face he sensed this would not be the correct time. He bit back several filthy comments and vowed to call INS to have his green card revoked if he ever got back to civilization.

Finally coming through a clump of bushes, Montana saw Foghorn standing in a small clearing, shovels still in hand and the giant green tarp dumped beside him. And Foghorn looked too damn proud of himself, like he had figured out the cure to cancer or something else just as significant but really, positively ludicrous considering whom he was thinking about.

"Here you - I say - here you two go," Foghorn said proudly.

Montana exchanged a confused glance with Plucky before looking around at the miserable tableau before him. A large loud-mouthed chicken holding digging instruments, a confused duckling, and a smug butler still dressed in his silly safari outfit.

He waited, confused. Nothing happened. Jeeves and Foghorn were standing there, arms crossed and watching them with grins securely in place.

After a minute, still nothing had happened. Montana uneasily shifted his weight from right to left and scratched his ear, hoping that the answer would come to him quickly. This was growing unsettling.

Finally growing annoyed and pushing back his unease, Montana asked, "Here we go what? I don't understand the game but I can say I'm not amused."

He frowned when Foghorn attempted to hand him a shovel. Montana looked at it in bafflement before quickly shoving his hands in his pockets; no way he was touching that.

"Consider it another character building experience," Jeeves said warmly. "I believe this will be beneficial to you."

Montana looked at him in wonder.

Shovels…did he expect him to dig a hole? Beneficial? For what? Who? Why?

This was no longer a joking matter; Jeeves had gone funny in the head. He was stuck in the woods with a crazy man.

"We have to dig our own graves…." Plucky trained off. To the adults' amusement and Max's chagrin he loudly wailed "Oh my God I'm too handsome to die!"

"Don't need to dig your own grave boy," Foghorn said after he snickered and then gave Plucky what Montana would only describe as a 'shit eating' grin.

"Then what pray tell are we supposed to do?" Montana asked, deciding that he may as well throw caution to the wind and demand what the game was.

"We need a hole, deep one," Foghorn said. "Gotta put the facilities somewhere, and you two - "

_Facilities?_

_They couldn't possibly mean…_

Almost choking in outrage, Montana lifted his chin and asked in a monotone voice, "Am I to understand you wish for us to dig the shitter for you?"

He did not get a response, not that he expected one. This was obviously a nightmare that he would not wake from, and nightmares could be wildly unpredictable. He couldn't expect things to make sense in a nightmare.

"I told you he was an unusually bright child," Jeeves said congenially. "He catches on fast."

"Shitter…oh man what?" Plucky asked in a quiet voice with a glazed look in his eye.

Foghorn roughly forced a shovel into Plucky's hands, actually curling his small feathered digits around the handle for him. Plucky stared at it like he had never seen such a device before.

Montana , shocked himself at the mere thought of performing such a crude task, blinked but managed to almost snort at Plucky's look. While he himself had never dug a hole in his life, he knew what a shovel was. The duck was looking at the shovel like most people would look at meteor that just landed in their yard.

"It's a shovel - I say - it's a shovel boy!" Foghorn bellowed. "Ya dig holes with them!"

"You might. I do not," Montana sniffed, looking at the horrid instrument that they no doubt thought they would gift him with next. At Foghorn's raised eyebrow he added, "You're a giant chicken; I know you're familiar with scratching in the dirt. If you wish a hole I suggest you dig it yourself."

He was almost surprised at his own audacity. Almost. He had heard from reasonably reliable sources that one would be wise to tread lightly around Foghorn when he was in a surly mood.

But surely they were joking. They couldn't expect that he - Montana Cavandoli Max - would dig a hole. For facilities -

"I got other things to do boy," Foghorn said as Jeeves took the shovel and managed to wedge it into Montana 's hands after he bodily removed them from his pockets. "Figured this would give you two something to do," he shrugged. "After all the rest of us ditch diggers are busy."

Montana lost what the rest of the rooster was babbling after the comment about ditch diggers.

_How fucking familiar…_

That asshole. He had shouted his baseless accusations about Montana ratting him out and he turned around and did it himself?

Montana gritted his teeth in fury and nearly strangled holding back a few more comments about this newest debacle. This had moved well beyond a bit of harmless revenge - Wakko had his revenge earlier with the entire 'set him up with the car' thing.

Montana was willing to forgive him for that, deciding that it may have been partially justified. He had even debated about perhaps forgiving him for the uncalled for comment about his parents.

That ship had sailed though. Wakko was a snitch - no matter what Montana didn't think he would go that route. Unbelievable.

He looked down at the shovel before attempting to hand it back to Jeeves.

"I don't want - "

"Your wants at this time are of no importance to me," Jeeves said.

"Excuse me?" Montana asked him, flabbergasted. "You work for my family, meaning that I don't do this sort of activity." Already working himself into a rage about Wakko screwing him again he said, "You can take this shovel and - "

"Be careful Montana - "

"Careful nothing!" Montana snapped. "I've already had a miserable time no thanks to you, no way I'm digging a hole on top of this! And now I've got two prior friends working against me - get them to dig it! One's a freaking rabbit - have him dig a hole! Or Wakko - he's apparently enjoying himself running around jumping dead batteries and - "

"At least he can assist in solving the problem instead of causing it, and the other one is actively working to try to keep everyone from fighting," Jeeves retorted. "Perhaps you should attempt to follow their example instead of being - "

"Be like the ass kiss and the rat? Take that noise and fuck off," Montana snorted before he realized what he said. "I think maybe you are getting too old for this job - perhaps you should consider retirement."

Frustration and anger were making him speak before he thought. No matter what happened, he usually tried to speak to Jeeves somewhat respectfully. He deserved that much.

No he didn't. Jeeves was the one that had dragged his ass out there. And he was 'the help' - he was getting paid.

God damn Wakko for bringing that up. Montana pushed the confusing thoughts down for the moment. Jeeves looked like he was about to throttle him, and if he didn't keep on his toes he might be unable to duck, grab Plucky and run.

He could dwell on them later. If he was simply a job to Jeeves, he might be able to talk his father into paying the butler more money. Perhaps he would be able to get more freedom or privileges if he did.

Jeeves inhaled sharply, his face turning the color of a spoiled tomato. Plucky moaned quietly and Foghorn simply raised an eyebrow.

Montana barely glanced at either of them; he chose to glare back defiantly at Jeeves, daring him to make the next move. If Jeeves tried again to make him dig the hole he would tell him to dig it himself before he went to find a phone and demand that his father fire the butler.

"I got him Jeeves, you take - I say - you take a break," Foghorn said easily while grabbing Montana 's arm tightly. "I need to talk to the boy for a second."

Wincing under Foghorn's much too tight grip Montana demanded the rooster unhand him but his shouts fell on deaf ears as the rooster led him a few feet off. Too stunned to fight much Montana followed, mind reeling.

He was in the woods…camping. Once of his best friends was a snitch, another one was a traitor. Two of the adults expected that he was going to dig a toilet for them. And now he was being led off to have his neck rung by a giant chicken.

Montana tried to dig his heels into the ground and wanting to demand at what point his life had been flipped turned upside down, but the rooster had considerably more strength than he did. All he managed to do was leave several drag marks where his tennis shoes dug into the dirt and leaves.

When Foghorn finally stopped dragging him Montana immediately ripped his arm out of the rooster's grasp and looked behind him. Plucky was alone with Jeeves, and obviously the butler wasn't in his right mind.

He looked OK; Jeeves was discussing something calmly with him. Plucky still looked ill at ease but nowhere as frightened as he had.

"Now lookie here boy, not sure what you think you're doing, but taking your anger out on the wrong person ain't the way to do it. Lately all you've done is - "

_Oh Lord, a lecture. From Foghorn of all people. Better Fritz a pair of earplugs._

Montana instantly tuned him out. Jeeves, Yosemite, hell just about anyone who knew him for longer than ten minutes knew the best way to talk to him was not to yell.

It had taken Yosemite awhile to figure out the best way to teach his mouthy student, though with his volatile personality it still meant constant clashes with him. Montana was pretty sure that Jeeves might have given Yosemite a few pointers though.

Luckily Montana liked Yosemite enough that he frequently just tuned him out when he went on a rampage. It was even easier to do after he had a growth spurt and he was twice as tall as him.

Jeeves had a way of lecturing that made Montana feel like he was about four years old again and rarely raised his voice more than a few degrees. The very few times he yelled Montana paid attention just because it was such a rare occurrence, but normally his voice would do nothing more than get somewhat louder and crisper.

But with anyone else, hollering would simply make him decline to listen. Case in point Foghorn - Montana refused to listen to someone if they were yelling in his face. And over the years of dealing with a multitude of personalities Montana was able to block yelling out very well. It became a dull roar in his ears; he could hear the volume of the conversation being shouted at him, but he didn't comprehend the words.

"You hear what I'm saying son?"

"Uh huh," Montana replied blandly while his ears rang at the verbal assault, hoping he would get over with it soon. Then he could hand the shovel back to him, tell him to sod off and go on with his life.

"Good - this aint - I say - this ain't an unreasonable request! Thought the other one was stubborn but you could give him lessons! And that manservant of yours doesn't deserve all the attitude - "

Montana felt his attention wandering again as the rooster continued to bray at him in his raucous voice and looked around his bulky body to watch his fellow miscreant. Plucky looked fine but insane as he hopped from one foot to another. Either he was growing bored or he hadn't taken his medicine like he should and they would all be treated to a hyperactive duck with a shovel.

He looked back up as Foghorn paused, probably to take a breath. Normally he liked Foghorn and got along well with him, but that was of course prior to him leading him out into the woods to dig a restroom facility. And before he teamed up with Jeeves to make his life miserable.

Montana bitterly wondered what the hell he had done to the rooster. Whatever problems he was causing had nothing to do with him. Foghorn needed to keep his unusually large beak out of matters that didn't concern him; concentrate on his little backstabbing betrayer of a student.

"Pay attention when I speak to ya boy!"

Montana snapped back to him at the shout, especially when the rooster leaned down to look him in the eye. Taken aback, Montana leaned back as far as his spine would allow him to and stared back.

"You got people that care about you - wanna help ya! Yet all you do is fuss and complain and be ungrateful-like! Don't wanna see ya screw up something good! You taken this in son?" Foghorn yelled, waving his arms like a madman. "Answer me when I speak to ya boy!"

Startled and intimated, Montana hastily nodded. He really had no idea what the rooster was talking about since he hadn't been paying attention, but quickly surmised it was something to do about his attitude.

The large rooster was obviously barmy though and he had him pinned against a tree. In this situation it would be best to talk in a quiet, soothing respectful tone until he would be able to make a strategic retreat.

"Fine then boy; just remember what I said."

Putting his arm around Montana's shoulders in a friendly gesture Foghorn led him back to the waiting Plucky and Jeeves. Worried about the large pullet's hand that close to his neck, Montana decided to docilely walk along with him. There were still shovels around.

"You two should be able to dig that hole in an hour, hour and a half tops - "

"What? I'm not doing - "

_This again?_

"You just said - I say - you just said you would do it! Mind like a sieve - already leaked out! You forget already?"

_Damn it was that what I agreed to?_

Dumbfounded, Montana stared at him for a moment before sighing and giving up. If he argued it he would probably be subjected to another lecture, no doubt more loud and unforgiving than he had just experienced. Who knew if his eardrums could take another beating right now?

Not to mention he really didn't want to make the rooster any more annoyed than he already was. Montana prided himself on being careful of his safety - enraging Foghorn would not be prudent. He doubted the rooster would hit him - surely Jeeves would step in at that point. Then he would be in Jeeves' hands, also not a particularly safe place to be when he was angry.

Resigned to his fate, Montana nodded and gazed at the shovel as they walked. It didn't look like much; hopefully it would not be too hard to figure out.

When they finally got to Plucky and Jeeves, both adults stared down at them, arms crossed again in their show of disapproval for a moment. To show how sporting he was, Montana managed to stay silent while Plucky looked at him like he was awaiting instructions.

After a moment both adults nodded when Montana took his jacket off and draped it over a nearby branch, not wishing to get it filthy. He already foresaw this being a nasty job and it was the only jacket he brought. But with that gesture both adults nodded in approval and turned, thankfully leaving them to their task.

Plucky, his steadfast little compatriot, continued to look at him as Montana leaned on his shovel like he had seen countless highway workers over the years do. When he was younger he had thought the shovels were some sort of leaning device. Damned if he could remember anyone actually using the shovel for what it was intended for.

"What the hell just happened?" Plucky asked breathlessly. "What did he say?"

"Pep talk," Montana grunted, not wishing to go into details.

"Oh, those," Plucky said indifferently and waving. "So, uh…now what?"

Montana stood, deciding that the sooner they got going the sooner it would be over with and he could start formulating revenge on those that had wronged him. With a huff he leaned down to pick up Plucky's discarded shovel and thrust it into his surprised hands.

Grumbling as he pushed his own shovel into the Earth, Montana ordered, "Start building character."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Look, just say - "

"Yeah, I heard you the first billion times."

Sighing, Buster put the last rock in place on Wakko's hastily dug fire pit and stood beside his grumpy friend.

The trip was just getting better and better.

Wakko was in a worse mood than before. Just so he could say he actually made some attempt to punish Wakko, Foghorn was making him dig the fire pit. Wakko had complained about it, but Buster didn't think it was a big deal. Digging the fire pit had entailed just basically scraping the top soil off the area and building a circle of stones. And Buster helped him carry the stones. All in all it had taken about twenty minutes; Wakko had no reason to complain.

Buster was reasonably sure that under any other circumstance Wakko probably would have happily done it. But when something was billed as a punishment it lost all its appeal.

Monty and Plucky were more than likely dead. No one had seen them since they had been marched off into the woods and while still annoyed at them, Buster didn't want to see them dead. But the looks on the returning Foghorn and Jeeves' faces had worried him. His friends may be dead and he didn't want to be next; he had been tempted to ask but refrained.

Buster shook his head; they weren't dead. They were annoying but that hardly deserved capital punishment. At times the adults could be unreasonable, but not that much so; they usually stopped just short of death.

He looked at the trees; they were out there somewhere. And he wanted to find them soon; he had finally convinced Wakko to swallow his pride and apologize for his colossal screw up. Hopefully the other two would as well and they could get back to being one team instead of two warring parties.

It hadn't taken much to convince Wakko though; as mad as he was even he knew he crossed the line. To his credit he felt horrible which had made Buster's job that much easier.

Thankfully; he would probably need Wakko to help him keep a cool head so he could talk to Plucky.

All he wanted to do was get his friends to stop fighting so he could continue to hang out with his father; was that too much to ask?

"Let's go find them than, get this over with," Buster said. "They've had time to cool off by now."

"Yeah yeah," Wakko muttered. "Don't seem worried about me having time to cool off or - "

"Wak, come on man," Buster said with a grin, already knowing what he had to do. "Please - you're the most laid back of all of us. You were cooled off by the time we got here. And you know as well as I do that Monty probably won't even consider saying anything until you do because he's an ass and you're not."

Seeing Wakko starting to squirm a bit, Buster decided to lay the frosting on a little thicker and hope that he didn't send him into insulin shock.

"And I know he was acting like a jerk but even you said you felt bad about what you said, because you're so much better than that. Which is why you - being the bigger man and all - will go and say - "

"All right all right," Wakko grumbled, cutting him off while his face split into a grin. "I said I'd do it, don't go weird on me."

Buster sighed in relief. Even Wakko needed his ego stroked now and then. Do it just enough every so often and he'd do just about anything he wanted.

"So…uh, where are they?" Wakko asked, the grin slipping off his face as he looked at the woods. After a moment Wakko asked anxiously, "Seriously Buster, you don't think they - "

"Don't be a goob," Buster said, smacking him on the shoulder.

"They had shovels Buster, what do - "

"I don't know," Buster said with a grin. "Maybe they tied them up and left them in the middle of the forest coated in honey with a little placard saying 'Bear Buffet'."

Wakko didn't laugh at his joke and Buster sighed. Wakko was great, but sometimes no sense of humor.

"Come on, let's go see - "

"If they did do something to them," Wakko continued. "And we go out there, we might be next. We should sneak off, try to help them if we can."

"Oh for - they're not dead Wak…" Buster trailed off before looking around at the remaining group.

They might not be dead, but whatever Plucky and Monty were doing probably wasn't something fun either. Another 'punishment'. A cover might be good; that way it didn't look like they were going to go hunt up their friends.

Yakko was beside Dad, both surveying the fire pit. Bugs looked like he was again the target of some jokes while he railed around the Mercedes and Foghorn laughed and Jeeves looked on, no smile showing on his face but the air of one amused coming from him.

Buster turned around again, trying to find something that they could use as an excuse so they could leave to find the other two. He didn't want to sneak off, just in the odd chance that they got caught and ended up in trouble too.

He turned back as he saw Yakko begin poking the fire pit with a stick and nodded.

"Look, we had buckets of water last night," Buster said. "We'll just offer to go get water for the fire or whatever they need it for. We can do that, scout out the area at the same time, talk to those two - everything will be fine again by lunchtime."

Looking doubtful but resigned, Wakko sighed.

"Let's go get this over with," Buster ordered, walking purposely towards several large red buckets stacked neatly near Foghorn's truck.

He frowned at them but grabbed two, passing one over to Wakko. The buckets were large; chances were neither one of them would be able to carry one filled with water. Still though, it showed that they were actively trying to help, always a good thing to do around the adults, especially when two of them had just led their friends off into parts unknown.

"What are you two doing?"

Buster jumped while Wakko stumbled and dropped his bucket at the sound of a voice coming from behind him.

"Nothing Dad, just trying to help out," Buster said, trying to use his most innocent voice, the one he was convinced he had perfected after years of use.

"Right," Bernie drawled while eyeing them. "Before we need water though, we're gonna need firewood. Seems funny you want to get water in that direction," he added, pointing toward the lake and where their other two boys had disappeared. "And you could go get firewood in the other direction."

Maybe he needed a little more practice with his innocent voice.

"But Dad, wouldn't it be better to get the water before we start the fire?" Buster said, hoping he paid enough attention yesterday to come up with a decent excuse. "What if we start the fire, don't have the water and it rages out of control? Isn't one of the main worries about camping safety?"

"Yeah," Wakko chimed in. "Remember, only you can prevent forest fires?"

"Right!"

_Man, busted already and we barely picked up the buckets._

Bernie eyed them for a few seconds longer and Buster wondered if they were going to be sent to pick up the firewood after all. He didn't mind exactly, yesterday it hadn't been too bad, though they did have help. Some anyway; Monty barely carried any, and Plucky hadn't exactly been screaming to help, but he did contribute some assistance.

After a moment, Bernie smirked but shrugged.

"Fine you two, I can tell safety is your number one priority. Who knew you were both such budding outdoorsmen?"

_Wouldn't go that far._

"We want to help Dad," Buster said in his most convincing voice. "And water is important, and we just wanted to scout out the area and explore - "

"Uh huh. Just…leave well enough alone Buster," Bernie said, a note of finality in his voice. "I won't interfere but…look, don't go and do what I think you're going to do. There's a time for everything, and this probably isn't the correct time…catch what I'm saying?"

"Yeah Dad, I hear you - "

"Remember, Foghorn's not the only creative one running around here."

Not even wanting to ask what that meant, Buster nodded before smacking Wakko and getting his attention. Inky was staring off into the trees.

"Let's go water boy," Buster muttered. "Try to fix this mess."

With that Buster marched off down the path, giving a wave to his father who was shouting instructions like 'don't go far', 'be careful', 'stay together' and 'whatever you think you're going to do, don't do it'.

"Fine, we're out of there," Wakko said, coming up beside him. "Now what?"

"We scout around quick, find them - "

"What's left of them - "

"- talk to them, get this taken care of," Buster said, ignoring Wakko's words and pushing down his own sense of foreboding. "We get the water and go back to the camp. With a little luck we shouldn't have any problems."

Leaving the immediate vicinity of the camp, Buster pushed his way through the brush, hoping they could find Monty and Plucky quickly. Gesturing Wakko to be silent, he led the way through, his ears raised as much as possible to try to hear what was happening around him.

He didn't hear anyone following him. After a few moments walking though he did hear something else.

" - working Plucky, I got the dirt loosened - "

"But this is hard!"

"It's called busy work," Max's voice cracked through the woods. "They hope that they'll wear us out enough we won't cause any more problems. They'll see how much problems I can cause. When I find that damned Mime - "

"You concentrate on him," Plucky's voice interrupted him darkly. "I've got the rabbit."

"And what do you think you'll do with his father right - "

"Please; Daffy showed me more than how to do spit takes you know."

"Looks like we found them," Buster muttered.

Nodding, Wakko, his own ears lifted to pick up the words, pushed past him to get near some bushes. When he looked through he started laughing and Buster hurried over.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who'd make a great ditch digger," Wakko snickered. "I wish I had stolen Yakko's camera for this."

Nodding, Buster pushed a fist to his own mouth to keep his laughter low. In a million years, he had never expected to see this.

Not that it was an unwelcome sight exactly, but it was unexpected.

Monty was standing at the top of a large hole, leaning on a shovel and wearing a nasty expression along with a fine layer of dirt. Plucky was inside the hole, only his head visible as he grimly shoveled dirt upwards. Buster had to admit, Plucky had a pretty good arc going.

Two more potential ditch diggers for the world.

"OK, Wak, stop laughing - "

"Me? You're laughing too!"

"I know," Buster chuckled. "But I'm trying to stop."

"Well I am too!" Wakko insisted. "Come on man, don't tell me you aren't enjoying this!" Pointing, he said, "I think they're digging the toilet - "

"Fine job for two people who shovel so much shit at other people," Buster said before almost falling down laughing, Wakko collapsing beside him.

"Keep it down," Wakko advised. "If we're trying to make up with them, laughing isn't - "

"I know, I know!"

With an extraordinary amount of willpower, Buster managed to get himself under control enough he could stand, though he could still feel a smile on his lips. He struggled to hide it as he held his hand down to Wakko and pulled him to his feet.

"Let's go Wak; try to get through this without cracking up in their faces. I mean I feel a little sorry for them…sorta."

"It's just so…I feel vindicated!"

Startled, Buster looked at Wakko for a moment. He didn't think Wakko even knew what the word 'vindicated' meant.

"Right, sure Wak," Buster said agreeably, not bothering to point out how flawed his thinking was. "Let's go talk to them."

Nodding, Wakko picked up his bucket and followed Buster through the bush out into a small clearing, where Max and Plucky continued to grunt and swear their way through digging.

Making a movement for Wakko to stay silent, Buster walked toward them, concentrating hard on keeping a smile off his face. Right now, looks of sympathy would go over well, as would a few hard words about the adults making them go through this. Solidarity was the key here. Kids against adults.

Yeah, a few words of sympathy should be simple. In fact, say that Jeeves and Foghorn were way off base making them do such a filthy, demeaning…hilarious…

No, he couldn't act like he found it hilarious. This was something that could be laughed at much later, like when they were eighty or so. At that point Max might think it was amusing.

Well, probably not. It was a private joke then.

And if he said the right words, this could be easy. If they all continue to fight, things might progress beyond 'digging holes' and no one wanted that. If Plucky and Max tried to argue, he could point that out.

"Oh look," Plucky said as he turned his glare from the pile of dirt he was shoveling and caught sight of Buster and Wakko. "We've got visitors. Unwelcome, two-timing, gloating visitors, but none the less - company. Make sure to look busy; don't need them reporting us again."

Nothing was ever easy.

"Calm down Plucky," Buster said, holding his hands up and ignoring the jab. "We didn't come to gloat - "

"Really? Your smug demeanor…oh wait, wait," Plucky said, putting his hand on his forehead for a second. "You're just always a self-righteous, smug asshole."

It was getting decidedly less easy to feel sorry for them too.

While Wakko fidgeted beside him, Buster said, "We were worried - came to see what - "

"Well now you see," Max said, wiping his brow with the sleeve of his shirt before sending a hostile glance at them. "So move your blue ass out of here and take the rat with you before you both end up in this hole."

Buster frowned; they all jokingly called each other lots of names - with the group they had it wasn't hard to find jokes, especially regarding looks.

None of them looked anything like rats though.

Shrugging and figuring that Max was mad enough that he wasn't bothering to think up good insults Buster said, "Look Monty, we're on your side - "

"If you're on our side, I think we're better off by ourselves."

Buster sighed; Plucky wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"Oh come on Pluck," Max said, turning a dark appraising look on Buster momentarily before settling on Wakko. "Without Wakko going and spilling his guts to the chicken, we'd have missed out on such a character building experience."

Inhaling Wakko looked like he was trying to refrain from questioning the insult before he asked, "I don't even know what that's supposed to mean - "

"Big fucking surprise - "

"But I wanted to say I'm sorry, for what I said before," Wakko said contritely. "It was a really shitty thing to say no matter how you were acting - "

"Oh, it wasn't that bad," Max said grandly.

Buster relaxed despite a feeling of apprehension.

Max got over his bad mood quick enough, he was going to accept Wakko's apology, they could move beyond this because truthfully, they were all better than this. Maybe he could talk to Plucky, tell him to stop being a prick -

"In fact it was nothing really," Max continued. "I always considered you a close friend - one who would never knowingly try to screw me."

"Well, thanks, I guess," Wakko said, looking flattered and suspicious at the same time.

"Oh yeah," Max continued. "I mean no matter what, I would have accepted an apology from you at any point, not only for setting me up but for the whole baseless accusation of calling me a rat."

"Yeah," Wakko said, squirming slightly. "Maybe we should - "

"I could have dealt with all that, up until you went and started crying to Foghorn, thereby turning the one accusing me of being a rat into a rat himself."

_What?_

Puzzled, Buster exchanged a look with Wakko, whose expression he was sure mirrored his own. Had the stress of actually having to do some sort of work messed with Max's mind, made him go a bit weird upstairs?

"What are you talking about now?" Wakko asked guardedly. "I haven't gone crying to anyone!"

"No, no, course not," Max said, the previous overly friendly voice turning dark. "And that's why he was able to mirror the whole 'ditch digger' conversation back to me." When Wakko went to interrupt he added, "Save it shit for brains, I'm through with you - "

"Oh that's great Max," Wakko shot back. "You ratted me out, so now you accuse me of the same - "

"I told you before I didn't rat - "

"Doesn't explain how - "

"Gonna be hard to explain a damn thing with my fist in your mouth - "

"Try it and you'll see how far my mallet will- "

"Stop!" Buster hissed, his head starting to throb as the two hurled insults and threats at each other. "Just stop, both of you!"

This wasn't going as well as he hoped.

"Yeah, listen to the Bunny," Plucky said from down in the hole while leaning on his shovel. "If not, he's liable to run off and tell one of the adults." Narrowing his dark eyes at Buster he added, "Notice that again we failed to get any warning from you - "

"Now hold on a damn minute!" Buster shouted, not bothering to be quiet.

Plucky probably wouldn't have been able to hear him. Max and Wakko were still tossing insults at each other, only occasionally looking over at him. It was mostly when one of them took a breath.

This was a disaster; someone was going to throw a punch soon. Max looked almost there and Wakko didn't exactly have a serene look on his face either.

Buster stopped talking briefly, watching as Wakko stomped his foot and ripped off his glove.

Giving it a sharp snap, he slapped it across Max's face and roared, "I demand to be satisfied!"

Stunned, Max froze and blinked at him for a few seconds before rubbing his cheek and saying quietly, "Come again?"

Plucky cocked his head and stared at him before beginning to laugh.

Buster rubbed his hand on his forehead and sighed, "Satisfaction Wakko. Its 'I demand satisfaction'."

_Idiot._

"Might as well accept his apology Max," Plucky said disdainfully. "He's trying but obviously he's retarded and you can't expect him to get something that - "

"Fuck you Duck - "

"Watch it Mime," Max said darkly. "I'm inclined to agree with him. I certainly can't expect any social niceties or correct quotes from a mentally handicapped street - "

Buster saw Wakko start to whip out his mallet and he roughly grabbed him, forcing him to take a few steps back.

"Just calm down Inky," he said, casting a glance back behind him in the direction of the camp. "I know they're being assholes but don't let them drag us down. Let's just - "

"I'm through talking - "

"Then let me," Buster said, figuring this is what Dad meant about separating them until they both calmed down. Max obviously wasn't there yet.

Maybe Plucky.

He turned to the duck who had a disdainful sneer on his beak and sighed, thinking this was going to be difficult no matter what but resolving to give it a shot. He had been friends with Plucky a long time.

When he felt Wakko relax his muscles under his grip he let him go, keeping an eye on him while addressing Plucky.

"Plucky, be reasonable," Buster said angrily but trying to keep his voice neutral. "I never said anything because I didn't know about this!"

"Like I should believe you," Plucky snorted. "You said you knew about the set up - "

"And I should have warned you, I didn't, and I'm sorry!" Buster insisted. "Seriously I am - you have no idea how sorry I am about it. We came out here - "

"Well I don't believe you, not now, not after this," Plucky snapped, gesturing toward the hole and the pile of dirt. "You saw fit not to warn us - again - of something, though we've always tried to warn you if we - "

"I couldn't warn you idiot!" Buster hissed. "I said I was sorry before, but really, how the hell was I supposed to know they were going to make you dig the toilet huh?"

"I can't imagine you would miss it - lately your head's been so far up one of their asses - "

"You accuse me of being a kiss ass one more time Plucky and you're going to be eating that shovel," Buster warned.

"I'm all a fright!" Plucky exclaimed in a mocking voice while dropping the tool into the dirt. "The way you've been you'll not only tell everyone here I was slacking off in my duties and being mean to you, you'll call my parents too."

"You know Max," Buster said, feeling himself growing hot at the implication. "You might have to dig another hole - this one's already full of shit."

Wakko laughed at the joke, momentarily forgetting his argument with Max. Plucky was starting to jump out of the hole, grabbing the shovel, while Max turned to look at him.

"Full of shit huh? Such foul language from our golden boy, the one we should all aspire to be like," Max mocked.

"You know what Max?" Buster said, spinning around to fully face him. "Screw you. I've tried to get everyone to stop fighting; I tried to defend you to Wakko but you know what? He's right - you're a jerk, I don't know why I wanted to hang out with you. Digging a toilet for the rest of us is right up your alley - it matches the shit that comes out of your mouth."

Angered, Buster spun on his heel, ordering Wakko to follow him. He was finally out of trouble, no sense in having him hang out and get caught up in any more shit. If he did Buster figured he wouldn't have any other friends to hang out with.

"Let us know when you're done and it's open for business," Buster tossed over his shoulder. "Let's go Wakko - "

"Hey Plucky, why don't you show All Star here how good a batter you really are?"

Buster started to turn, wondering what Max was talking about now just as Wakko shouted to watch out. Surprised, Buster watched him take a face dive to the ground…

"The hell - "

He felt something hard hit him between the shoulder blades. It didn't hurt, more of a surprising thud, but whatever hit crumbled on impact. He spun back around to see Plucky smugly holding his shovel like a bat, while Max tossed a clod of dirt up and down in his grimy hands.

"Wonderful shot Plucky - regular Lou Gehrig you are."

"You asshole!" Buster snapped, reaching around and running his hand down his shoulder. Pulling his glove back, he could see a fine layer of light brown grit contrasting sharply with the white satin.

"Oh that's it!"

He went forward towards Max, fists balled with every intention of shoving the shovel down Plucky's throat before he put his foot up Max's ass.

He tried to be reasonable, he tried to apologize, hell he even talked to Wakko and coerced him into apologizing.

No way was he going to let these two use him as a target though. Max might be stronger, but Buster knew he was faster and could kick harder. The two of them would be walking bruises when he was done -

"Forget it dude, not worth it," Wakko said, grabbing his jacket. "Not now!"

Buster tried to push him off wondering what his issue was. Two minutes ago Wakko wanted to fight.

"Better listen to him Bunny," Plucky taunted as he swung his shovel again when Max threw another dirt clod in the air. "Don't wanna misbehave ass-kisser; you have the reputation of being the real rule-minder now, don't see you pulling pranks anymore."

Buster grunted when the clod of dirt caught him in the stomach and he roughly pushed Wakko again.

"Let go Wak, I'll - "

"Do nothing!" Wakko said, pulling him away when a few more dirt clods came at them. "Dumbass listen - someone's coming!"

Buster paused, raising his ears. Wakko was right, it sounded like someone was in the tree line behind them. Lurking, watching the entire thing…

Shit. With his luck, it would be Dad. The way this weekend was going no doubt he'd be forced into digging a toilet too.

"Typical cowards," Plucky scoffed. "Run their mouths then turn tail at the first sign - "

"You wanna call someone a coward?" Buster said, grunting again when Wakko practically shoved his discarded pail into his stomach. "Pot calling the kettle black - "

"Shut up and move!" Wakko said, catching a clump of dirt in the head while the other two laughed and shouted taunts. "We'll deal with it later!"

Inhaling and trying to calm himself down, Buster clutched the bucket's handle and nodded, ignoring the dirt that he was still being pelted with. He'd wash it off at the lake.

Fuming, he followed Wakko down the short trail as he tried to brush as much of the dirt as possible off his clothing.

He was going to kill Plucky. How dare he call him an ass-kisser - he wasn't a kiss ass. He tried to stay on the adults' good side as much as possible, but with their history it was only prudent. Stay on their good side now, and when they got caught the adults might be more inclined to go easier on them.

Besides, right now he had no desire to get the adults pissed at him.

Especially Dad. Buster had to say he was actually having a good time despite the fighting among his group. As skeptical as he had been about the whole 'bonding in the woods' idea, it hadn't been a bad idea - in fact it had been a great idea. He didn't exactly feel closer to his father; he had always been close to him. But he felt the bond between them might have strengthened a little.

If nothing else it was one more happy memory he could put away in a lifetime of happy memories he had.

He nodded stiffly as Wakko tried to sooth him while bitching himself about the other two, mostly Max, though a few nasty comments about Plucky were thrown in for good measure.

Partially filling their buckets with lake water, Buster followed Wakko up the trail, still grumbling about his 'All Star' reputation.

He wasn't a goodie-goodie; he broke almost every rule he came across. He was just smart enough not to get caught.

Frowning as they neared their former compatriots' hole, he glanced through the trees as Wakko continued to talk. When he looked though, he didn't see Plucky and Max.

He did see the freshly dug hole and the two abandoned shovels. He heard his father's words, about 'leaving well enough alone'…and decided to ignore it.

Because he was smart enough not to get caught. He was also quick and would no doubt have a willing partner when he told Wakko what his plan was.

"Oh Wakko…wanna get a tiny bit of revenge?"

Wakko turned to look at him, a small smile playing around his mouth. No matter what, Wakko was always up for a good prank, especially of the revenge variety.

"What?"

"Oh nothing much," Buster said, placing his bucket on the ground and examining his glove calmly. "But you're not the only one that's demanding satisfaction, and since we can't Fritz pistols…"

"I can Fritz a water pistol - "

"We're not dueling," Buster said while watching the abandoned hole for a moment.

They would have time; Toonspeed it and they could do it within a few minutes…they'd be tired as hell when done which would make Dad curious.

Dad was always curious. He could talk around him though; Dad knew something was going on and seemed content to let it play out with no interference. If he didn't ask Buster decided he could avoid telling him. He doubted his father would like to hear what he was about to do.

"Look, they seemed so happy digging the hole before, and they did such a fine job, but look. The job's done…I was just thinking All-Star and Gear-Head could help them out, give them something to do."

Snickering, Buster smacked Wakko's shoulder, indicating he should follow him. Buster paused for a moment listening with his ears fully extended but heard nothing; whoever had been listening before was obviously gone.

Which was fine; he had things to do. Plucky and Max's own mouths had dug them their grave the first time; Plucky could take sole responsibility this time though.

This would be the last time he'd call Buster an ass-kisser.

XXXXXXXXXX

_This is the future. The youth of today is the potential leader of tomorrow…_

_Good God the future is screwed._

Snickering and shaking his head, Yakko shifted slightly in his crouching position, putting his weight back on his heels while hoping he wasn't crouching in poison ivy.

Moving a branch out of his face, he continued to watch his brother and Buster move at lightening speed to fill in the hole that the other two troublemakers had worked so hard to dig. He honestly didn't think Wakko and Buster could move that fast and he knew the two of them were quick. At least they both learned their Toonspeed lessons well and were putting them to an amusing use.

There were going to be two very angry kids coming back. Yakko couldn't wait to see that. Max and Plucky had been annoying enough that he wasn't averse to seeing them get a bit of comeuppance.

He figured it was their fault though; they may be mad at each other, but they did know each other pretty well. If it was Yakko he wouldn't have left the hole unguarded with the shovels right there - especially after just slinging insults and dirt at the other duo. It was practically asking to have the hole filled in.

Yakko had debated briefly about going in and breaking the two warring factions up; they were all friends and as hard pressed as he'd be to admit it out loud, he did like the other three nuisances. He wished they didn't cause quite as much trouble as they did with his brother, though Wakko was just as guilty as they were. It was impossible to determine who the 'bad influence' in the group was.

After a brief internal struggle, he decided to just sit the argument out and get involved if they actually got physical. A couple of smart assed comments and some threats weren't enough to cause him worry. Wakko looked like he was handling things; maybe not brilliantly, but he had somewhat intelligent backup in Buster.

Why, between the two of them there were probably close to a hundred IQ points.

Shaking his head he laughed quietly as he watched the two of them pat the Earth down and plunge the shovels into the softened dirt. They then grabbed their water buckets and staggered off, dusty and exhausted but apparently very satisfied with a job well done.

Just in time, Yakko thought as he watched Max and Plucky return into the small clearing, Foghorn and Jeeves in tow.

Silently, Yakko crouched lower in the bushes to watch and wished he hadn't guzzled yet another cup of coffee before deciding to go explore the area. He hadn't been spotted through the entire exchange between the four younger boys though Wakko had heard him when he accidentally cracked a stick with his foot. Neither of the idiots had thought to come investigate which worked for him. He would have hated to give up such a prime observation point.

But the adults would be more on the ball, and while he doubted that they would dream of forcing him to dig a hole, he wouldn't put it past them. After all, Foghorn had 'strongly suggested' that Yakko be kind and at least wash a portion of the mud off Bugs' car, sort of a 'sorry for all the hubbub, bub' move.

It hadn't improved Bugs' disposition much. The air in the Mercedes had been so chilly on the rest of the ride to the new campsite that Yakko had almost put on a sweater. And Bugs hadn't exactly pulled his swat when he hit him over the head at his comment to Max either. Which was fine; it made Yakko feel even less guilty for stealing all the coffee that was left in the thermos.

At least Bugs was settling down. After making a fool of himself countless times, the rabbit had declared he was sitting the rest of the trip out. He would do nothing but observe unless specifically asked to do something, and after getting detailed instructions would do the requested task.

In the meantime, Bugs had set himself up nicely. Yakko had watched, first in worry wondering what he planned on doing now. When he saw him setting up his own little relaxation oasis his concern changed to amusement.

After pretty much everyone in the camp had decided that the rabbit was a danger to himself and others around him and refused to accept any help from him, Bugs had decided to just chill out. In his usual laid-back style, Bugs had retreated to his vehicle and returned with a lounge chair, a sun reflector and a small camp table.

After setting up his table and chair, Bugs had plopped his sunglasses on his face and reclined back to relax, reflector up to his neck and a large pitcher of chilled V8 next to him.

Yakko decided it was OK; at least sitting back relaxing was keeping Bugs out of trouble.

Shame the same couldn't be said of some others.

Yakko ducked his head and almost choked at the look on Plucky and Max's faces. If pirates came barreling out of the woods at them with cutlasses raised those two wouldn't have looked as surprised.

Meanwhile, Jeeves was doing a damn fine impression of not looking incredibly amused, except when he briefly turned towards the bushes and Yakko caught the smile on the man's face. Yakko froze; Jeeves was too observant for his liking. After a moment though he relaxed; the man had turned again to address his two little diggers, obviously not spotting him.

Foghorn meanwhile was bellowing that the hole was obviously not done and that 'you boys - I say - you boys been at it an hour and not so much as a scratch in the dirt! Worms coulda made a deeper hole than you two! You two understand what you're supposed to be doing?'

Yakko put his fist to his mouth, managing to keep the laugher that was threatening to burst forth under control. He didn't want to lose this spot; it was well hidden in the undergrowth and he could see and hear everything going on at the future 'facilities'. And if he crept further down, he could watch the entire camp unnoticed.

He watched as Max, who had previously been yelling about being screwed again finally fell silent under the withering glare of his butler. Finally, sulking and grumbling Max grabbed the handle of one shovel while shoving the other one at Plucky and began digging the hole again.

Yakko shrugged; the dirt was already loosened and turned; the second time digging it wouldn't take anywhere near the effort the first time had, but it might wear them out enough that they wouldn't cause any more trouble.

Who was he kidding? He knew Plucky and Max well enough himself; they would be baying for Buster and Wakko's blink as soon as they recovered from the shock of actually doing some sort of work.

Yakko began envisioning what these two would plan before he quietly laid flat on his stomach. Foghorn and Jeeves were leaving the boys to their task and walking away; unfortunately their chosen path out was crossing directly in front of his hiding space.

"Looks like we got - I say - looks like we got us the makings of a prank war," Foghorn said quietly while snickering.

"Agreed," Jeeves agreed, a faint smile flickering on his face. "Though knowing the way Master Montana has been behaving lately, I doubt it was unprovoked."

"Still though, other two shoulda stayed away, least for a bit," Foghorn answered. "Those two - slippier than a greased pig on a sheet of wet ice." Pausing and looking out over the bushes he added, "Figured making the boy dig the fire pit wouldn't set him straight."

Yakko snorted quietly; and here he thought Wakko was just being helpful. He gave a small shrug though; he had seen Buster over there helping him and neither boy seemed too upset. And digging a fire pit had to have sucked less than having to dig a huge hole.

"Those two - right now might even be sitting in the bushes laughing over this."

Yakko froze at that statement. Holding his breath and waiting, he hoped that Foghorn wouldn't come looking for them. Wakko and Buster had taken off at a lumbering run while attempting to carry the heavy water buckets, but he was still there.

"The boys are just entertaining themselves," Jeeves said while also directing his gaze over the bushes. "Though I do believe we should keep an eye on them, lest they get carried away with the chicanery."

"Or worse, catch one of us," Foghorn added. "Those four better not think of pranking me - I don't bill myself as the master like certain toons," he said, nodding his head toward the camp. "But I ain't no slouch either."

"Indeed," Jeeves sniffed. "I believe these two will be digging again for a short while still; let us head back to the camp - "

"You go ahead." Foghorn waved. "I'm gonna - I say - I'm gonna hunt the other two up; had the feeling we've been eyeballed the entire time we've been talking."

Yakko cringed before sighing quietly and starting to rise. Bugs may be a babe in the woods but Foghorn wasn't. He was being stupid; he was way too young to be trying to fool these guys for long. Foghorn was probably so in tune with what was happening around him he could talk to the damn trees. Yakko knew he shouldn't have -

"I doubt the boys would remain at the scene of their crime," Jeeves said, looking directly at the bush. "None of the boys is simple. I am quite sure even now they are actively trying to be helpful in an attempt to create a creditable alibi."

Yakko, half raised off the ground closed his eyes just as Jeeves' met them.

_Damn it…_

"There is no one here but those two and us," Jeeves finished. "Come, we can share a pot of coffee at the camp while we wait for the miscreants to finish their duty."

_He couldn't have missed me…_

Yakko cracked open an eye and waited, wondering what the butler was doing. Jeeves couldn't have not seen him; their eyes met just as he was closing his lids.

The butler was several types of awesome; he was covering for him. Yakko sent a silent thank you to the man, half feeling like a fool for hiding in the bushes like an eight year old and half enjoying the feeling of being a roving spy for the entire trip.

Max was a fool - the butler was cool as all hell and the kid did nothing but give him grief. Yakko figured he would never desire to have a butler; he was used to doing things for himself. If he ever did though he'd sure as hell hire one like Jeeves.

"If the oldest boy ain't drank all the coffee we can have a cup."

_What?_

Damn couldn't he get away with anything?

"If he had we would have heard him screaming through the woods," Jeeves said in a nonchalant manner. "I believe Master Yakko is mature enough to be able to limit his consumption to a reasonable manner."

_Thanks Jeeves…_

Yakko gave a silent sigh - the butler was leading Foghorn off and seemed indifferent - or clueless - to the very unreasonable amounts of java he consumed.

He smirked, amused that he had been worried. He was Yakko Warner for Christ sake - of course he could spy on these two for a few minutes without being detected. Well, Foghorn anyway; Jeeves was too sharp.

"True," Foghorn said. "Boy's gonna be as jumpy as Bugs is if he doesn't slow down; wonder where he is."

"You can be assured he is somewhere close," Jeeves said, turning his gaze away from the bushes to look at Max and Plucky. "He seems like the type to keep himself out of trouble since he was entrusted with so much personal freedom."

With a slight shrug Foghorn began walking off, adding, "Well, wherever he is, the smell of coffee is sure to lure him out; probably off chasing after that hellion brother of his. Told him - I say - I told him to leave the boy to me and relax this weekend and…"

Yakko listened to Foghorn talk to Jeeves about himself and his brother before turning the conversation on its ear to talk about Bugs, fishing, cars and a multitude of other subjects. Yakko shifted, hoping the rooster would be quiet soon and leave.

He didn't dislike Foghorn; quite the contrary. He actually liked the rooster quite a bit; the man's jovial demeanor and the fact he doted on his brother made him rather difficult to dislike. He could be loud and long-winded though. That worked great on some people.

Like Wakko - he was often off in his own little world, getting loud was sometimes the only way to get him to listen. But the vast majority of the world was able to concentrate for longer than ten seconds.

" - been having a fine time watching him lift the rabbits drink every chance he's got - "

_Damn._

Yakko scowled slightly, unhappy that his pilfering of the coffee had been discovered; he thought he'd been pretty slick. Foghorn may be loud but he wasn't the most unobservant of people.

Yakko shrugged; they both knew about his raiding of the coffee and neither of them seemed that concerned about it.

"- let's go back and get a cup, leave these two to redig…"

The rooster trailed off and started laughing, Jeeves giving a quiet chuckle as he led him off. Yakko started when Jeeves turned briefly and looked directly back at the large bush for a moment before giving a smirk of his own and continuing to walk.

Yakko paused for a few seconds, asking that blessings rain down upon Jeeves' balding head for not blowing his cover before standing quietly.

Stretching his tail and arching his back to work the kinks out, Yakko gave one more amused look toward the two toilet diggers who were again hard at work.

He shook his head; they had been royal pains in the tail but he almost felt sorry for the two of them. Going up against his brother and Buster wasn't an enviable task even if they deserved it.

Wakko needed to be a little more subtle; though filling in the hole was hysterical as was a few of the things he said.

Yakko felt torn. On one hand he wanted to ream his brother for some of the things he said - he knew better. He definitely lost points for that. And while Wakko hadn't been too bad at this latest confrontation, Yakko had caught enough of what was said at the river to know that his little brother could cuss worse than a sailor. He'd be rectifying that soon enough.

On the other hand he wanted to cheer and give him a high five for totally decimating Max not once but twice and clearly getting away with it, or getting away with very little punishment. Not only setting him up with the battery, but now, filling in the hole the boy had worked so hard to dig?

Wakko totally owned his ass. That'll teach the big mouth not to screw with a Warner.

He'd never tell Wakko since it would be 'encouraging bad behavior' but he had been half hoping that his brother would turn around and make Max eat that shovel.

But Wakko had been the one to notice they were being watched, so he gained a few points for that.

All in all, Yakko decided he was pleased as he made his way back to the camp quietly. His brother was taking care of himself to some degree, Foghorn was no doubt going to make sure things didn't progress to destructive levels -

- and a ranger truck was pulling into the camp site.

Kick ass.

His mood went from amused to interested immediately and he quickened his pace slightly, putting his brother and his goofy friends from his mind. Something new had caught his attention, his brother was on his own for now.

Yakko came through the brush gracefully and he quickly ran a hand through his hair, hoping he didn't have burrs and leaves stuck to him.

With any luck it wouldn't be the same blond from yesterday; Bugs had pretty much killed any chance of making time with her. But seeing her had given him hope; if she was there it stood to reason that there would be other girls.

He hoped it was another female volunteer ranger. As amusing as the sausage party around him was, he was desperate for some diversion of the female persuasion.

Hopefully she would be hot; at least attractive. Not that he was shallow…he was discriminating. He crossed his fingers. Preferably blond, but he could take a brunette right now. He wouldn't mind chesty. Long legs would be a benefit - tall was a definite turn on.

Trying to wipe the goofy smile off his face he hurried to stand beside Bugs, who had stood out of his chair and lifted his sunglasses up to cock an eyebrow at him.

"Calm down doc - "

"Calm down nothing," Yakko said with a grin. "I just want - "

"To hit on any female that dares enter this camp," Bugs said, grabbing Yakko's shoulder as he started to walk past him. "It may not be a girl - "

"But I can hope," Yakko said with a grin. "Come on Bugs! The air up here apparently does a body good! Even you were looking yesterday - "

"Yeah doc, a glance," Bugs said dryly. "And even if this one is another girl, she's gonna be way too old for you - "

"Uh huh, and way too young for you," Yakko said, barely listening as he stood on his toes, trying to watch the truck from over Bugs' shoulder.

He frowned at it; that was a lot of girl behind the seat. He couldn't make out any features behind the tinted glass, but he could tell that whoever was behind the wheel was…quite sizeable.

Maybe she was wearing a bulky coat or something…

"You little brat, just wait until…" Bugs cut off as he watched the large green Bronco cut off and grinned. "Fine, let's go see - "

"I can greet the ranger myself."

"Yeah, like I'm letting you do that," Bugs said, slinging one long arm around Yakko's shoulder as the door opened.

"What?" Yakko smirked up at him. "I'm interested in speaking to someone older and wiser about conservation and trees and…and stuff."

"Since when?"

"Since they started looking like the girl you blew my chances with yesterday," Yakko said flippantly. "I could talk about conservation and stuff for hours."

Putting one hand over his face Bugs muttered something under his breath before sighing.

Yakko shrugged off Bugs' arm and walked beside the rabbit. He felt like some horny bastard but pushed the feeling down; it wasn't like he seriously thought he was going to get too far with some collage girl doing an internship.

But there was no harm in trying.

Foghorn, Jeeves and Mr. Bunny, swigging their umpteenth cups of coffee looked up from the small fire that was already going to see who had come to visit.

Yakko watched, first in anticipation, then in horror as someone - not a girl - unfolded themselves from the cab of the truck.

Someone huge, brown and hairy…wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. And a campaign hat with a word on it…

Smokey.

_Oh for the love of -_

Yakko felt his interest melt away like a Nutty Buddy in the summer sun. Wasn't that just his luck? All he wanted was a hot shapely female to come into the camp for a little while to amuse him - was that too much to ask? Hell, he would have taken Cindy Bear over Smokey and he hated her overdone southern accent and the stupid parasol.

He had personally never met Smokey, but he had little interest in doing so. The bear was notorious for being a real stick in the mud, solemnly repeating 'only you can prevent forest fires' like a hairy parrot.

Kit had told him once about being made to go to some kiddie volunteer thing, back when 'TaleSpin' was still an active show. Disney loved the publicity and Ms. Cunningham had sort of guilt tripped him into going. She claimed it was going to be fun - picking up litter in a few of the parks in ToonTown and there was even going to be a guest speaker - Hootie the Owl.

Kit had told Yakko that he had been tempted to run away and live on the streets again just to get away from the owl's constant yelling about pollution and littering.

Yakko had personally wondered why they never came to the small park near their old apartment in Plympton and asked when he planned on getting around to picking up the litter there.

Kit told him to get bent.

But Kit had said that later, another 'extra special guest speaker' had come by to visit all the hapless children shanghaied into doing what amounted to a prison sentence to him.

Smokey Bear.

Molly had been thrilled. Kit said they almost had to wrestle him to the ground to prevent him from leaving, contracts with Disney and actually having a home be damned.

To top it off, Kit had been suckered into becoming a 'junior forest ranger', complete with stupid hat and identification card. Yakko had found that hilarious due to the fact that Kit had said himself he had never been outside a city in his life.

And Ms. Cunningham had taken pictures of him and Molly wearing the hats. Yakko made a mental note to ask Ms. Cunningham to show him the picture one day. When he asked Kit, the cub had said no way in hell was he going to show them to anyone.

But at least there were other children to distract Smokey when Kit was there. Yakko looked around the camp, hoping the younger boys had all either been forced to stay or wandered back.

He was the only one there under the age of thirty, and younger children were Smokey's target audience. Drill it into their heads when they're young.

Yakko spotted Buster and Wakko disappearing into the bushes. He just made out Wakko's sleek black tail vanishing around a pine tree and knew they were gone.

Max and Plucky were nowhere to be seen. Right now he envied them - if they were digging the hole that meant they weren't going to have to deal with the bear.

Even Mr. Bunny and Jeeves looked slightly uncomfortable and began eyeing the coffee pot.

Foghorn had a long suffering look on his face, much like the one he got when Wakko got too hyper or Bugs went off on a tangent about how he didn't need any help.

Not good signs; the only one who looked pleased was Bugs. Also not a good sign.

"What's wrong doc?"

"Nothing," Yakko answered, blinking his eyes and hoping he was simply seeing things.

He wasn't. The bear was still there, surveying the entire camp, his eyes lingering on the fire like it was something dirty.

Damn.

Time to leave.

The bear gave a solemn wave to Foghorn, who was making his way toward him. Mr. Bunny and Jeeves stayed near the fire and hastily began making another pot, normally calm fingers shaking.

Foghorn greeted Smokey like an old friend while telling him that they were fine, no reason to waste time checking on their group. Smokey was a very busy bear and there were other campers that could use his advice.

Deciding to make himself scarce since there was absolutely no reason to stay there, he added, "I'm going to find Wak - "

"What? Thought you wanted to greet the ranger this time," Bugs asked, a smirk on his face.

"Don't start rabbit," Yakko muttered as Smokey spied him and began walking toward him. "I need - "

"Oh come on Yakko!" Bugs said loudly, startling Yakko and drawing everyone's attention to him. Throwing his arm around Yakko's shoulders again he gushed, "I think it's great you're so interested in talking to the ranger!"

"Huh?" Yakko said, turning wide eyes to him. "I never…I mean I did before - "

"And look - Smokey Bear! Why I bet he would just love to discuss ways to prevent forest fires with - "

"Bugs!" Yakko yelped, his voice raising several octaves as he tried again to pull away. "Come on this isn't funny - "

"Oh I think it's hilarious," Bugs muttered. "About as funny as my mud bath earlier."

"Come on Bugs I apologized!" Yakko pleaded, deciding to put his pride to the side for a moment and just openly beg. "I cleaned most of the mud off!"

Smokey was advancing quickly, Foghorn keeping step with him. The rooster, who had been looking tormented when the bear had begun talking, spied Yakko and looked relieved, especially at Bugs' proclamation that Yakko had been dying to talk to the bear.

"I hear - I say - I hear ya Smokey!" Foghorn said. "And lookie here - you heard the rabbit! Said the youngun here wanted to chat - "

"Yeah," Bugs said happily and very loudly while bobbing his head up and down like a desperate person. "He said that - wanted to discuss it for hours and hours - "

"Not to be disrespectful Bugs, but shut up!" Yakko hissed, trying to pull away.

He was unsuccessful; Bugs had a grip like Thor when he set his mind to it.

Yakko tried not to lose his self-control, but the coffee running through his veins, not to mention the thought of having to sit through a 'prevent forest fires' lecture was sending him into a panic.

He had to escape.

Immediately.

He might have to become a junior forest ranger if he didn't.

"Yakko said himself he was just dying to talk to an older and wiser person about conservation - "

"I'll read a book!" Yakko snapped, debating on Fritzing a crowbar and using that to attempt to separate himself from Bugs. If he couldn't use it to wedge himself out of Bugs' grasp, he could use it to smack him on the head.

"Well…Yakko is it?" Smokey questioned.

Fearfully, Yakko nodded, still trying to subtly push Bugs off him.

"Yakko, I'm sure, at your age you know about forest fires - "

"Uh huh," Yakko quickly nodded his head. "Yeah, let's face it, California is usually being flambéed most of the year - "

"And you know only you can prevent forest fires. Do you know about dousing?"

"Don't be rude," Bugs muttered.

Yakko turned, ready to throw caution to the wind and say something rude - directed at Bugs. Before he could though, Bugs pushed him gently so he was standing next to Smokey, who looked delighted at his new audience member.

When the bear pulled him into a warm embrace, Yakko mentally gagged and turned to direct the fiercest glare he could muster at Bugs. He was going to pay for this.

"Well doc," Bugs said, smirking wide and walking to stand next to Foghorn who had a wide fake grin plastered on his beak while he desperately looked behind him towards the safety of the tents and fire. "I can see Yakko will be in good hands - he'll certainly learn a lesson about playing with fire - I mean in preventing forest fires and stuff."

"Bugs…" Yakko said quietly in his most beseeching tone. "Come on - "

"He's going to have a paper to write on camping safety and conservation when we get back to Burbank anyway," Bugs said in a wise assed tone.

_I am?_

"An excellent subject matter," Smokey said in an approving tone. "If only more tutors would think to - "

"Oh, it's gonna be a long paper too," Bugs interrupted him.

"I enjoying talking to the younger children, helping them understand the importance of dousing their fires and the repercussions if a fire gets out of hand," Smokey continued as if Bugs hadn't spoken. "Rarely am I treated to speaking to an older, mature teenager."

_And you're not gonna be treated now either._

In a last ditch effort to free himself from this newest predicament, Yakko turned his best puppy eyes on Foghorn, hoping for mercy and rescue. Surely he couldn't be involved in this conspiracy against him. Foghorn liked him, respected him. No way he would abandon him.

He widened his eyes; he knew he could do them well even if he was rarely desperate enough to pull the maneuver. He had two great teachers in Dot and Bugs. Foghorn couldn't be immune could he?

"I can see the boy will be in good hands," Foghorn added. "I'm gonna - I say - I'm gonna go check the fire, go get lots and lots of water. Know you hate those fires," he babbled while slowly backing away from the group, grasping Bugs' elbow and yanking him back as well.

Yakko rolled his eyes, giving up. Foghorn was going to be useless obviously - he was just as desperate to get away as Bugs and was no doubt immune to the puppy dog eyes. Probably from spending his entire life around other children doing the exact same thing gave him a leg up on ignoring them.

He watched the two adults, chortling and giggling like a couple of schoolgirls practically skip off toward the safety of the fire and coffee. He was being left alone with Smokey, who looked excited at the prospect of talking to him.

_Damn. OK._

Yakko lifted his chin, steeled his resolve and remembered his training.

He was an actor; he could get through this. The bear wasn't being unfriendly or annoying so there was no reason to be rude to him. Yakko honestly tried not to be rude if it was uncalled for, and even more so if his tutor and pretty much everyone he knew and respected was right there watching him.

Plus, Wakko and the rest of the little goons were no doubt in the bushes watching, laughing, and happy not to have been the sucker caught. He had to set a good example.

He could get through a half hour of playing a teenager interested in conservation and wildlife rehabilitation. While the bear droned on he could think of ways to wreck horrifying revenge on Bugs.

It could be no worse than dealing with Baloney. At least Smokey appeared to realize he wasn't ten and wasn't trying to pull any 'junior ranger' crap on him. He was going to talk to him like the mature -

"Come to my truck Yakko," Smokey rumbled while leading him off. "And I'll get you some pamphlets I think will be helpful. I believe I even have a junior ranger hat to give you too."

Yakko raised his ears in alarm.

It was going to be worse than dealing with Baloney.

He was going to kill Bugs.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Fine job guys._

Snickering to himself, Wakko scooped a small shovelful of dirt over his own personal offering to Max and Plucky's hard-dug latrine.

Say what he would about them, they had dug a fine toilet. He couldn't have done better himself…and he was glad he didn't have to. The fire pit had sucked enough, but that was only a shallow little hole.

At least no one knew he had to dig the fire pit for 'busy work' other than Buster. When Wakko had grumbled about it to him the rabbit had offered to help. Wakko was pretty sure that was mostly so he could get it done quicker; that meant Buster wouldn't have to be by himself. He was worried about sneak attacks.

Plus, the rabbit had used it as an opportunity to butter him up enough to attempt to go apologize to their two ex-friends. And as usual, it worked. Wakko didn't need to be told he was faboo all the time, but it was nice to hear every now and then.

Unfortunately, his apology hadn't been successful. In fact, it seemed to make things worse. Wakko felt like he was unjustly attacked when he went over there. He never told on them; the idiots had busted themselves.

All he had done was mention the ditch digger comment, but that was well after the other boy had told on him. Since the story had been pretty much out by then, he didn't see any harm in repeating the comment. He'd be damned if he was going to get Foghorn angry at him because of Max.

Luckily the rooster didn't seem too mad; if anything he seemed to be a mixture of annoyed and amused. Wakko had tried to put up a little fuss about digging the fire pit. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have minded doing it, he liked helping Foghorn and did just about anything he asked. But when that something was billed as 'busy work' or 'punishment' he balked.

After listening to his grievances, Foghorn pointed out he could either dig the fire pit or his own grave. After a careful internal conference with his own sense of self-preservation, Wakko had quickly decided the fire pit was the more reasonable option and had grabbed the small spade.

Happily Buster, the friend that stuck by him no matter what, had jumped in to help. The job wouldn't have taken too long on his own, maybe twenty minutes, but with the rabbit's help they had knocked it out in about ten.

The other two had always stuck by him before; he briefly thought about the many times Max and Plucky had crowded around him when he needed them. When the whole nasty issue about their parents and past coming out; when Yakko had been in the hospital the other two had called and sent cards, offering whatever support they could…he thought he could count on them almost as much as he could count on Buster.

While still angry at Max, and to a certain degree Plucky, Wakko had been game for trying to talk to them. Wakko knew almost the instant the words were out of his mouth he crossed the line; his beef was with Max, no need to drag his parents or the butler in it.

It wasn't their fault Max was a jerk.

Wakko was still pissed at him, but was honestly more offended. He'd gotten in all sorts of trouble in the past for Max - Buster and Plucky too - and he had never ratted out any of them. The other three had also taken some grief from the adults for something he had done and up until now none of them had ever dreamed of considering one of the others would have told on them.

Looks like those days were over.

Still though, he should thank them on a job well done. Probably the first time Max had done any work in his entire life, he should encourage him.

Stepping out of the privacy tent and into the bright late morning sunshine, he let the tent's flap close behind him. He hesitated a moment, listening to the woods around him before shrugging.

Stupid Buster had him jumpy about using the bathroom now. When he had told the rabbit he was going to go use the toilet, the rabbit had wanted to accompany him. Wakko had laughed at him while telling him it was really creepy. The rabbit thought Max and Plucky would try to spring something on them while they were separated.

Wakko had serious doubts about that. After digging the latrine, both boys had disappeared after giving them dark looks. Buster thought they were plotting. Wakko was more convinced they were either off somewhere complaining and licking their wounds, or trying to stay out of sight of Smokey Bear.

Smirking, Wakko started walking back to the camp site; when the bear had driven up he had been surprised. Buster had taken one look at Smokey stepping out of his truck before tugging on Wakko's jacket, gibbering almost incoherently and saying they had to get out of there quick or be condemned to listening to him for half the morning.

Worse, he liked to make every young person he met a 'junior forest ranger' and charge them with 'helping to prevent forest fires' and making them take an oath.

He was a drag and a bore despite the rather important safety message and no one over the age of five willingly got near him. Well, an asskiss like Skippy or a drag like Hampton might, but definitely no one they wanted to hang out with.

After that announcement, Wakko had been more than happy to follow Buster into the bushes and disappear for awhile.

Wakko had caught a glimpse of his brother's face right before he and Buster ran. Yakko was trying to look interested, but Wakko knew his brother's looks and moods well. If Smokey went on too long Yakko was going to go to sleep on him.

He had wanted to go back and try to rescue his brother, but Buster said they had to leave him behind. 'Necessities of war' Buster had called it; in this situation it was every man for himself and unfortunately Yakko would be what was known as an 'acceptable loss'.

Wakko figured it was probably OK though; Yakko could take care of himself.

He could too obviously. He had gone to the bathroom and was heading back with no problems. Stupid rabbit, Max and Plucky wouldn't dare do anything to him, not right now. The adults were watching, and he had already proven to them that he could give as good as get.

And they even got a double whammy; before Max and Plucky could retaliate he and Buster had refilled their hole. He wished he could have seen the looks on their faces when they saw it filled in.

He frowned when he heard his stomach rumble briefly and quickened his step. Smokey was leaving just as Wakko had decided he needed to use the 'facilities'. Buster, who had gotten surly after Wakko told him he was being an idiot, had declared he was going to stay near his father for a bit. That was despite his father lightly laughing at the dirt on his jacket and saying that he knew they couldn't 'leave well enough alone'.

Luckily he didn't press them for details.

Wakko pushed through the bushes as he neared the campsite, trying to hurry as he stepped out onto the well-worn path. He could grab a few handfuls of trail mix then grab Bust-

"Shit!"

He yelled as he felt himself going down and he instinctively closed his eyes as he hit the ground, splashing in something soft, wet and gooey.

Damn it.

He opened his eyes warily and looked. He had tripped and landed in a large mud hole. Sore, surprised, and happy no one saw, he crawled up to his knees and looked at his hat, now covered in a thick brown slime and wondered why his leg was half propped up in the air.

With a rope. What moron strung rope across the path?

And where the hell did the mudhole come from? He had gone through there a few minutes -

"Look. Shit does float."

_Oh hell no. I'll –_

"Unlike most mime acts, that was actually funny."

_They're dead. I'm gonna kick their asses –_

"Looks like we're not the only ones that got a bit dirty today."

Annoyed, Wakko crawled to his hands and knees, pausing to wipe some mud off his face fur and looking around. He finally spotted his two taunters.

Max and Plucky. He should have known.

And they looked quite pleased with themselves. Max, face streaked with sweat and a few dirt smudges, was leaning on his shovel like a California highway worker and staring down at him. Plucky, soaking wet and panting, was holding the end of a rope in one hand and a red bucket in the other.

"But Pluck, we're dirty because we actually did some work as astonishing as that is to say. Half the brown Wakko's covered in is no doubt shit from having his head up Foghorn's ass."

"Well, when he gets out of that I hope he doesn't go running and telling again."

"I know." Max got a thoughtful look on his face for a moment before smirking. "And here I thought mimes were supposed to be silent."

Letting out a low growl at the drawling comments and the laughter that followed, Wakko sat on his rear and looked behind him, fists balled.

"Loved digging the hole so much you couldn't stop?" Wakko asked angrily while trying to untangle his foot from the end of the tripwire. "Dirt looks good on you Max - "

"Don't be pissy Wakko," Max said with a sneer. Shrugging his shoulders he added, "We were helping you out. What with you filling in the hole, I thought you wanted to play in the dirt."

"Does anyone find it ironic that Hampton 's the pig but he's the one obsessed with cleanliness?" Plucky asked, sending a disparaging look towards Wakko. "Inksplot here is the one that loves wallowing in the muck."

"Look at Wakko's background," Max said in a bored tone. "It's nothing but muck-"

"Don't start Max," Wakko snapped. "I - "

"I'm not, I'm finishing it." Tossing his shovel on the ground Max added, "Don't fuck with me again Wakko - "

"You or the damn rabbit; he's next - "

"Shut up Plucky, I'm speaking now," Max interrupted him. "I'm in a nasty mood and - "

"Like that's unusual," Wakko said, giving a rude laugh while trying to stand. "I can't remember a time you haven't been in a foul - "

"Fuck you," Max spat.

Wakko drew his arm back, a clump of mud in his hand and threw it at him.

Max dodged to the right and avoided getting hit.

"Fuck you Max you spiteful petty asshole," Wakko yelled. "When I get out of here you shithead I'm gonna shove that silver spoon of yours so far up - "

"You really shouldn't use every insult you know in one horrid string like that," Max said snidely while examining his fingernails. "Given the limits of your vocabulary you'll run out of things to call me and begin to repeat yourself. It was dull enough the first time around."

Wakko drew his arm back, a clump of mud in his hand and threw it at him again.

Not only did he miss, he fell back down in the mud, causing his tormentors to laugh heartedly and getting mud in his mouth. He tried to yell a few more curses at him, but only a weird choking and glomping sound came out and he spat out some mud.

"What was that?" Max said, wiping his eyes and glancing over down the path.

"Wakko making an ass out of himself - "

"No dumbass, that noise…" After a moment's pause Max yelped, "Shit, move!"

Wakko, trying to stand in the slippery mud, slipped again, landing on his face.

"Get back here you damn cowards!" He yelled, throwing another mud ball out of frustration.

Muttering a few filthy words he looked up and saw Max grabbing Plucky's jacket. With a yank so hard he almost ripped Plucky's arm off, Max dragged him into the bushes and vanished. Wakko could hear their feet crashing through the branches and leaves before they too went silent.

_They'd better disappear because I'm gonna…oh damn it._

He heard other footfalls coming swiftly and loudly towards him and he hastily stood on wobbly legs. With a small sigh he watched as Foghorn ran through the trees and almost skidded into the mud himself. A few moments later, Bugs and Jeeves quickly appeared behind him, not as winded but breathing heavier than normal.

Bugs took one look at him and shook his head, looking amused and no doubt happy it wasn't him sprawled in the mud this time. Jeeves raised an eyebrow. Foghorn wildly looked around the area before settling his eyes back on Wakko, still sprawled in the mud.

"Boy - I say - boy what are you doing?" Foghorn demanded while bending over panting. "Hollering like a banshee and now you're dripping like what's-her-name after she got doused in pig's blood at the prom - "

"Foghorn," Jeeves sighed. "He is young; it is unlikely he has seen that movie - "

"You know this boy? Probably seen lots of stuff you wouldn't have thought he'd seen."

"Touché," Jeeves said. Turning to look down at the ground and spying the abandoned shovel and rope he added, "But I think we can all safely say the prank war has begun full force - "

Bugs, who had reached down to hold his hand out to Wakko, spun around to look at Jeeves.

Wakko, who had almost grasped Bugs' hand, fell back in the mud. He decided to just lay there for now; it was safer. He was angry, sore, and filthy already; constantly falling back into the mud wasn't helping his mood any.

"Prank war?" Bugs looked down at Wakko, still splayed in the mud before turning to Foghorn and Jeeves. "We don't need that doc - if they start pranking each other, it might catch one of us." Before anyone could reply he bellowed, "I knew one of them took my sunglasses!"

Wakko rolled his eyes. No one touched his stupid sunglasses. Figures, an adult loses something it was obviously one of the kid's pranks. The idea that the adult may have misplaced it never occurred to them.

Let a kid lose something though; all hell broke loose. It brought on lectures of responsibility and how 'if you don't take care of your things this is what happens' or the threat of having it taken away once it was found, totally defeating the purpose of trying to find whatever was lost.

"Calm down - I say - calm down rabbit. You lost your glasses on your own," Foghorn said, reaching down with one massive hand and plucking Wakko up by the collar of his jacket and dangling him in front of his beak like he was diseased.

Dangling like a dead fish on a hook wasn't the most comfortable of positions to begin with. Having Foghorn glaring at him wasn't improving it any.

Deciding he should say something and get attention away from what was really going on, Wakko said, "Look, it's nothing, I just slipped - "

"Slipped and got yourself pranked," Foghorn said, depositing him on the ground. Still eyeing him he added, "Told you - I say - told you boy, always look around you! You're in the woods; that rope could been a snake, jumped out and bit you! And then you just had to get those other two going again, thought you woulda learned! Can't you all…"

Wakko shook briefly, hoping to dislodge some of the mud from his ears. Or put more in; Foghorn could lecture loud and long on just about any subject and this was looking like it would be no exception. Chances were the people back in that town from yesterday were going to be able to hear this one.

He wasn't going to say a damn thing though; no matter what, no one was going to accuse him of being a snitch. Or have a real reason to accuse him; no matter what he was pretty sure that he'd never be able to convince Max he hadn't said anything.

Than again he was sort of acting the same way. Maybe if he had listened when Max was denying it before things wouldn't have gotten this bad.

But Max started it, he argued internally with himself. If Max had just backed off for a little while he wouldn't have -

"Boy! Listen to me when I speak to ya son!"

Startled, Wakko whipped his head around to look at Foghorn. Prior to his yelling, Wakko had been gazing off into the trees while he thought.

He rarely did that; it was usually easier to just pay attention to Foghorn when he spoke. Then he might only have to listen to a lecture a couple times - Foghorn liked to repeat himself.

Plus, he was usually funny, sort of like Yakko. It was hard to pretend to be contrite about something he screwed up when the person who was yelling at him was making jokes while yelling.

It really wasn't fair. How could he be expected to not laugh when two of the people lecturing him were comedians?

"Those kids…I'm gonna have to keep my eyes open," Bugs was rambling while wringing his hands. Suddenly he widened his eyes and yelped, "My sunglasses…or my coffee mug! My chair!" He turned dark glittering eyes on Wakko and almost snarled, "You! I knew it was you!"

"Huh?" Wakko asked, confused.

A split second after watching Bugs' face Wakko backed up a few steps so he was closer to Foghorn. The rooster was annoyed but unlike Bugs, seemed to be in control of himself and not crazy.

"My chair! Thought that was funny did you - "

"Well, yeah," Wakko said agreeably. Bugs and his amazing collapsing chair was funny, but he didn't have anything to do with it. "It was funny but - "

Stepping toward Wakko, Bugs snarled, "I'll show you funny - "

Visions of Homer strangling Bart in his head, Wakko ran behind Foghorn who was laughing again.

"Bugs," Foghorn said loudly and putting a hand on the rabbit's chest to stop his advancement. "Kids didn't have anything to do with your chair - "

"You always stick up for them - "

"Be reasonable Mister Bugs," Jeeves said, pinching his lips together and looking like he was trying to refrain from laughing. "The children were too busy pranking each other to tamper with your chair."

"Bet the other three are back there now," Bugs muttered, suspicious eyes looking from Wakko toward the camp. "Putting snakes in my sleeping bag, replacing my toothpaste with soap or filling my thermos with mud…" Looking alarmed at the thought, Bugs spun on his heel and said, "I'm going to check, warn Bernie about this - "

"I didn't do anything!" Wakko insisted, but Bugs was Toonspeeding through the woods, not even trying to be stealthy as he crashed through the forest. "It really wasn't me!"

Wakko sighed. For the rest of his life, anytime something happened to Bugs, everyone was going to think it was him.

"Give it up boy," Foghorn sighed as he picked up Wakko's hat that was floating on the layer of sludgy brown ichor. "Rabbit's in a mood and I know none of you four had anything to do with it. But you," he said, turning back to Wakko.

Wakko cringed. Not only was the lecture coming, Foghorn roughly put the hat on his head and now he had a new layer of sludge dripping into his face fur and soaking the collar of his jacket.

"Thought you woulda learned, leave well enough alone! Figured with you having to do the fire pit you woulda knew to at least be slick like." Turning he added, "Come on. Let's get - I say - let's get you cleaned up at the river, can't have you getting the woods all muddy; looks like you lost - "

A high-pitched yowl of fear rang out through the forest and cut Foghorn's remark off. The yowl, which went on for several seconds, reminded Wakko of the howler monkeys he heard at the zoo once. It was followed by some hollering and declarations of 'those damn kids!' by Bugs and Wakko knew once again he was about to be blamed for something. He desperately wished he was at the campsite; if he was going to be blamed for something, he'd at least like to be around to see what he was going to be blamed for and get a laugh out of it.

Foghorn gave a deep throaty sigh, shoulders drooping, before glaring back at the campsite. Jeeves sounded like he was choking on his own tongue as strangled light gasps came from him.

"Like someone opened the door for the loony farm then lost the damn key," Foghorn muttered loudly. Looking back to Jeeves he asked, "Can you get him cleaned up?"

"I can clean myself up!" Wakko snapped before rolling his eyes again as Foghorn took off toward the swearing which was reaching a feverish pitch.

No one wanted to listen to him today.

"Come along Master Wakko," Jeeves said kindly, Fritzing a handkerchief and handing it to Wakko. "The river is - "

He was cut off as Bugs' voice rang through the woods, about one of 'the merry pranksters' putting an animal in his car.

"No one put a raccoon in your car rabbit!" Foghorn's loud voice bellowed through the woods and cutting off Bugs. "Told you - I say - I told you not to leave open pastries in the car! You left the window down and the critter was hungry - "

"I was trying to air the swamp water stench out!"

Silence greeted Bugs' statement before a dull roar of laugher came from the general area, and Wakko wished he was there watching too. Not only would he be laughing, he wouldn't be covered in mud.

Wiping his face and looking up at a still impassive looking Jeeves, Wakko scowled at him before stomping off towards the river. He didn't need someone watching him wash the mud off himself; he wasn't a baby.

At the same time, he was thankful the man was there even if he'd never say it. Odds were good that Max wouldn't try another sneak attack with the butler that close, and Wakko didn't want Max or Plucky sneaking up behind him while he was that close to a deep body of water. He wasn't the strongest swimmer around.

If Max had any brains though, he'd stay within eyeshot of his butler after he was cleaned up. Wakko hadn't had any plans to continue to prank Max or Plucky, hoping to let it die down but after this…

No way was he letting this one slide.

His favorite hat, the one Elmyra had given him for his last birthday was no doubt ruined. He should demand Max buy him a new one before he punched all his teeth in.

Wakko sensed Jeeves falling into step beside him, easily keeping up with his shorter strides and quickened his pace, half hoping to leave the man behind.

He did, and he continued on toward the lake, not wanting to be rude to the man but not in the mood for a lecture either. No doubt Jeeves would tell him to leave Max alone, because he would of course stick up for his employer's child and probably thought Max could do no wrong.

In an unusually bad mood, Wakko reached up and grabbed his soggy hat as he neared the shore. He wrung out the water and muck before frowning at it. The white lettering of the stitching, spelling out 'L.A. Dodgers' was a light brown now, the rest of the black cap speckled in dark brown.

The white would probably never be 'white' again. He was going to make Max eat the stupid thing.

And Elmyra would probably be upset with him because she gave him the hat and he let it get ruined because he and Max were having a fight. Elmyra might not understand, thinking he didn't like it enough to take care of it.

Maybe it wasn't that big a deal; it wasn't his favorite hat because he really liked it, it was his favorite hat because Elmyra picked it out for him. She got him a new hat for every birthday; it was almost a tradition now. He had just really liked this one the most.

Fine, he could wear the one from last year…No, he liked this one.

Upset, he threw the cap down to the ground, muttering under his breath about it being ruined. With a sigh he crouched beside the water and cupped his hands to get a scoop to wash his face.

"It's not ruined young sir - "

"Yeah it is," Wakko muttered harshly, surprised the man had followed him to the water's edge. "Mud's not gonna come out of - "

"It simply needs to be washed, thoroughly and immediately," Jeeves continued over him.

Wakko wondered if anyone was going to let him finish a sentence today.

"It's not a big deal."

"I think it is; I do believe that you are more upset about the hat getting dirty than the rest of you."

"Friend gave it to me, they're gonna be upset is all," Wakko explained in a mumble, not really wanting to get into great detail about his relationship with Elmyra. He barely understood it himself. "I don't want her - I mean - this friend mad at me."

"If this…friend…thought enough of you to get you a present, and this…friend…means that much to you, we should endeavor to save this present." With that, Jeeves bent and picked the sodden hat up, examining it. "You obviously care what this friend thinks - up until your impression of Mister Bugs going swimming the hat was spotless."

Wakko nodded; that was almost true. It did have a small grass stain in the back from when Buster tackled him while they were playing football but it was barely noticeable.

"If you will allow me to assist you, I believe I can remove it."

Wakko hesitated, watching the man before shrugging. He had no idea how to remove stains, and while Yakko would help, he'd probably laugh at him for getting so upset about a hat and for getting bested by Max and Plucky. Jeeves didn't seem inclined to laugh too much at him and he probably knew stain removal.

"Sure, I guess."

Jeeves knelt down beside him and Wakko returned to trying to rinse most of the mud off of him. He watched the butler out of the corner of his eye; the man was pulling out a few items from his Hammerspace; salt, vinegar, lemon juice, a bowl, a small toothbrush.

Wakko stared at him while he mixed water, salt and vinegar in the bowl, adding a few drops of lemon juice and creating a foul smelling liquid. After a few moments he dipped the toothbrush in the mixture and began to gently dap at the embroidery.

Curious, Wakko finally asked, "What is that?"

"An old family secret if you will," Jeeves said. "I have found it comes in handy, especially with a young man around."

Wakko snorted and muttered under his breath, "Doubt you need it with him; he just enjoys the others getting dirty for him."

Still dabbing at the stitching and not looking at him, Jeeves said, "If you would like me to intervene, perhaps I can offer assistance? See if I can unmuddy the waters - "

"You see the water I'm in?" Wakko snorted. "This is all mud - "

"I have dealt with many…trying people over the years," Jeeves said in his patient voice. "I understand what you are saying. Sometimes, stepping back from the situation, having someone else - "

"No!" Realizing he just yelled, Wakko took a breath, telling himself to calm down. Speaking with an edge to his voice he added, "No, I'll take care of it. He won't mess with me again." Deciding to go back to his muttering he said, "Won't ever try to be friends with them again either; that's over and done with - "

"Master Wakko, if I - "

"No, it's nothing - "

"Nothing has a way of becoming something very rapidly, when things get out of hand, especially between friends," Jeeves said, stopping his dabbing at the cap and beginning to rinse it in the cool water of the lake. "Friendships are wondrous things; they bring support, comfort, laughter and pleasure, encourage you to grow and develop."

Wakko stopped scrubbing the mud out of his jacket to listen to Jeeves. The man wasn't condescending or talking down to him like he was some dumb kid and he wasn't jumping to Max's defense either.

"The mutual knowledge, affection and esteem are something that simply should not be taken for granted…or thrown away easily," Jeeves continued on, alternating between dabbing at a portion of stitching here and there before going back to rinsing the hat. "A wise woman once said "True friendship is never serene'."

"Yeah, right," Wakko muttered, wishing Jeeves would get to the point, and maybe try not to confuse him so much while he was getting there.

Jeeves examined the hat with a small smile before handing it back to Wakko.

Wakko hesitantly took it, surprised but delighted to see that the stitching was as brilliant white as it had been prior to his mud bath. Hell, he even got out the grass stain and Wakko thought that was mashed in forever. Other than being soaked and having a lingering bit of foul odor, it was in even better condition.

"There may be fights, ugly arguments, nasty name calling, but in the end, much like your hat, things will work out and it will be better than it was. Remember Master Wakko, you will never be able to say you lost a friend - a friendship is incapable of ending. If it does, it never existed."

"Yeah, right, OK," Wakko said, not paying attention to him, mostly because he was delighted about his hat, and partly because he was pretty sure Jeeves was telling him to go kiss Max's ass and be friends with him again. "Um...Thanks."

"However," Jeeves spoke again in a firm tone, surprising him. "I am not saying let certain friends run roughshod over you. Every now and then, one does need to be brought down a notch."

"Huh?"

_Why does he have to be confusing all the time? Am I supposed to apologize or beat him up?_

"Let me put it this way young sir; there are additional eyes upon you. Mister Foghorn is growing weary already of the constant pranks and we have barely begun this day. Mister Bugs is convinced you four are 'out to get him'."

Wakko gritted his teeth and said, "I didn't do anything to him!"

This sucked; he bet Max and Plucky were the ones pranking Bugs and trying to blame it on him. He was defiantly getting them back for that. Adults were to be kept out of pranks if there was too big a risk they would get caught. It was Bugs Bunny for God's sake, in the woods and way out of his 'comfort zone'. He was liable to snap and kill them all at any time.

"While I will admit that your current…adversary…can be a bit of a wearisome, he and his compatriot are not fools and you should not underestimate them. You should of course turn the other cheek, forgive and forget, and all the usual preachy rubbish. You were friends, you can be friends again." With a small smirk Jeeves added, "And I have been around young boys enough to know this; you won't listen to a word I say."

_Wow. He does know boys well._

"So I offer this advice; whatever you decide to do, whatever prank you pull, be slick, be quick and do not get spotted - and we never had this conversation." Standing, he gestured towards the camp and added, "Let us make our way back Master Wakko. I can see the next twenty-four hours being interesting…and filthy. Perhaps I shall write down that stain removal formula and pass it out amongst our group; I have a feeling it will be needed."

End Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Vengeance and Vinegar

_The spaceman ran toward his rocket…_

_Scared? Terrified? _

_No…Going to get a gun?_

_Hell yeah! A ray gun! Or a laser gun!_

_Ok…The Martian, tentacles oozing slime, began to slither toward the spaceman and his laser gun…_

Annoyed, Buster bit his lip, scratching out the line before sighing, trying again, wanting to get the images he had in his head down on the page before him.

_The spaceman, trembling in terror, stood still and watched the Martian as it watched him and they stared at each other. The one big yellow eye on the Martian was oozing a lime green slime as it blinked at him. Then, it began to slither toward him, scary and horrible and the spaceman, scared, finally decided to go back to his rocket and get the biggest ray gun he could so he could blast it to smithereens._

Deciding he liked that description better, Buster smiled to himself, absently chewing on the end of his pencil as he reread his story.

It wasn't exactly Mark Twain, but it wasn't bad he supposed. He was trying to be more descriptive. Dad, during one the many times he talked about writing, said the more description the better. Except you had to know when to stop getting descriptive because it would bore the reader.

Writing was hard. Buster wished he had picked a simpler hobby sometimes.

Growing bored staring down at the page, he turned to look around the campsite from the log he had decided to huddle on. Knees to his chest, he surveyed the scene.

From where he was, he could see the entire site and everyone could see him, but only his hunched back. Knowing the way everyone looked at him, they would all probably think he was reading a sports magazine or playing a handheld game or something.

Which was fine; no one needed to know about his little hobby. Let them think he was just a sports nut; it wasn't like he could like anything but sports.

He could see Bugs, still jumping up and down and swearing 'the little gang of troublemakers' had snuck a raccoon in his car, which was absurd. Thankfully Foghorn was taking care of that, telling the fuming rabbit to calm down; the boys wouldn't have been able to catch a raccoon.

Yakko, mug of something in hand, was perched on the hood of the Mercedes and laughing, every now and then getting a weak look of pain and clutching his side. If he laughed any harder he was going to hurt himself.

Of course he probably thought it was funny; he was responsible for it. Buster had seen him eating the pastries earlier, before Smokey came on scene. Yakko had tossed the half-finished box back in Bugs' open window, ultimately drawing the raccoon into the vehicle.

Looking around and wondering if Wakko had any plans to return to the campsite before lunch, Buster saw his father by the fire.

He paused and watched him for a few moments. Dad had been working on something before Bugs had begun hollering; even now he was busy writing. Every now and then he would look up and laugh at Bugs. Then, shaking his head he would return to his work, chuckling quietly.

Dad was dedicated. He could write a story about anything, make a depressing subject interesting or funny or touching enough to move even the hardest heart to tears. Buster couldn't help but admire that, wondering where his father got his ideas half the time, how he could take even the most mundane of subjects and make them fascinating.

Sighing, he looked down at his leather bound book. He had been tempted to show his father one of his stories, see what he thought of them, maybe get advice, or brainstorm and go over plots and ideas and word usage.

Rereading what he wrote and noticing a spelling error, he erased the word and lacking any more motivation to write his epic spaceman verses Martian story, flipped a few pages back, looking over his previous stories.

A story he wrote about a revolutionary war soldier he got inspired to write after helping Plucky with his report. Another story about a truck driver that wrecked his big rig into an alien spacecraft that was landing so he could save the world. The one he wrote about a firefighter that saved twenty children when their orphanage was burning. The one about the boy who had a horrible voice until he hit puberty and after his voice cracked was a world-renowned singer and speaker - that one was dear to his heart.

His super-secret-no-one-ever-sees-and-if-they-do-he-would-have-to-kill-them story he wrote about Babs being kidnapped by a big hairy monster and him rescuing her. He read over it, wryly grinning at his own idiocy; he wrote that after he got suckered into dancing with her at a function one time.

He had kept stepping on her feet because he had been nervous and scared and hadn't wanted to dance anyway and Babs, frustrated, had said she'd rather dance with a monster than him ever again before stomping away.

She always pestered him for a dance though, at every function. At least his story ended with her kissing him and agreeing that he was a good dancer and she would only dance with him from then on.

He shook his head, closing the book. All dumb ideas - he wished he could come up with a better plot, something classic and extraordinary.

Frowning, he reached into his Hammerspace, finally pulling out a page he tore out of a magazine. He looked over it again, contemplating the entry slip for a young literary contest. He fell into the correct age group; it was for kids between nine and twelve and he wouldn't turn thirteen before the entries had to be submitted. He wasn't old enough to submit a piece of work to the teenaged one yet.

He shook his head; he wouldn't be able to submit an entry anyway; a parent or guardian had to sign the entry slip, and no handwritten entries would be accepted. That meant he would not only have to show his father his entry and tell him what he was doing, he'd also have to ask him to print it out for him.

He swallowed at the thought, wondering what would happen if he dared try it. Would his father read one of his stories and think any of them were at least decent ideas?

Probably not. More than likely he would laugh, tell him to find a new pastime because obviously writing wasn't for him and that he shouldn't submit any story because it would only embarrass him.

They were pretty simple stupid ideas - nothing grandiose like Dad wrote. Dad's stories were filled with action and drama and comedy. Buster looked over his own; they were filled with cliché trite ideas, run on sentences, misspelled words and grammar issues.

He shook his head, putting the entry slip away and resolving to put the idea from his head. No way he would win; they probably wouldn't even accept his entry.

He looked up, surprised and clutching his book when Max and Plucky - sweaty, dirty but looking very pleased with themselves - ran hell-bent across the campsite. Spotting them, Foghorn yelled, telling them to hold on because he had to talk to them.

Neither of them stopped, which may or may not have been smart. Smart because the two looked like they were up to something. Not smart because no matter what, no one could say they hadn't heard Foghorn yell. His name was Foghorn for a reason.

Curious, Buster watched his two former friends continue to run across the campsite, capturing everyone's attention before they disappeared into the tree line.

Buster exchanged a confused glance with his father before shrugging. His father raised an eyebrow before grinning and shaking his head. Pushing himself off his log and still clutching his notebook he walked over to Bugs and Yakko, who looked just as surprised at the departing trio.

Meanwhile, Foghorn was on Max and Plucky's tail, still calling for them and promising he just wanted to talk to them. No other holes needed to be dug…yet.

Buster smirked but quickly put his book back into his Hammerspace for safekeeping. Knowing Max and Plucky, they would sneak up behind him while he was busy writing and grab the book.

As far as Buster was concerned, anyone seeing this book, especially those two, was tantamount to his entire world ending.

Looking up again, Buster saw Yakko give Bugs a cool look when the rabbit pulled out the silly ranger hat and try to put it on his head. Buster started snickering at Yakko's face; when the bear had been present the oldest Warner had put on a brave front, attempting to look interested in the long-winded bear and his anti-fire spiel. He had barely blanched when Smokey had put a ranger hat on his head.

Buster had to admire the older boy's courage; he wouldn't have been able to do it.

Luckily he had been able to escape with Wakko before the bear spotted them.

With a slight frown, Buster looked around, wondering where his friend was. Surely Wakko hadn't fallen in? He wrinkled his nose at the thought.

He hoped nothing happened to him; the way things were going, Max and Plucky could have set him up to get pushed off a cliff.

Nah, those two weren't that bad. Eaten by a cougar or something maybe, but not push him off a cliff.

Than again…

Buster stood. The looks on their faces, not to mention the way they had run through the camp like a bear was after them, pretty much told him that Max and Plucky had been up to something. Something probably meant Wakko got pranked or pied on his way to the 'facilities'.

Stupid Warner.

Buster shrugged to himself as he walked across the campsite towards the lavatory. He had tried to warn him, but as usual, no one wanted to listen to him. Wakko had laughed and said walking around in pairs was dumb and that Max and Plucky wouldn't dare do anything to him. Now he'd probably have to go rescue Wakko from whatever briar patch the other two had lured him into -

He started, and then rolled his eyes at an emerging figure, stomping in from the trail leading towards the lake.

Wakko - soaking wet and looking like a drowned rat. Not an inch of him was dry.

Beside him was Jeeves. Giving a quick nod to Buster, the butler headed over toward Bernie, who gave him a lopsided grin and a wave.

Buster quickened his step, then hesitated as the other boy spotted him and almost launched himself towards him, looking furious.

Holding his hands up at the advancing boy, Buster said hesitantly, "Look Wak, I don't know what happened, but if you fell in the toilet, I don't want details - "

"I didn't fall in!" Wakko snapped, shaking a fine spray of water off his fur and onto Buster.

Buster grimaced while hoping what was hitting him was water.

"I was attacked!" He raged. "Those dirty sneaking no good stupid sons of bitches they…"

_This is the laid back one, huh?_

Buster, eyes widened, gestured for Wakko to calm down or at least go from a rolling boil down to a simmer. Baring that, maybe try to keep his voice down. He was using some words and phrases Buster wasn't even sure he knew the meanings of, let alone Wakko. Those words and phrases were usually what the adults would term 'not appropriate' and lead to groundings and other unpleasant situations.

Worried, he looked over his shoulder while Wakko continued on and saw his father watching them, along with Jeeves, both of them with one eyebrow raised. Buster closed his eyes, already hearing the lectures starting, especially since they were being observed by at least two adults.

Cracking his eyes back open, Buster felt his ears raise in surprise when he saw his father, arms crossed and one foot tapping, make a slashing motion across his throat before pointing at Wakko. Jeeves, still talking, put a hand on his shoulder before looking at Buster then pointing towards the woods.

Sweet; they were giving him a chance to calm down his friend before all hell broke loose. None of the adults liked swearing, at least from the kids, though Buster had heard all the adults let loose with a few words now and then so he didn't think it was really fair. But at least he could try to calm Wakko down before he got in trouble; besides, he was rambling on too and Buster couldn't even figure out what happened beyond 'mud'.

When his father took a few steps towards him and mouthed 'now', Buster sprung into action, grabbing Wakko and dragging him off by his soggy jacket while he continued to talk about how he got 'ambushed'.

Looking over his shoulder, Buster saw his father shake his head while Jeeves continued to speak to him. After a moment, his father grinned again, shrugged, and went back to talking to Yakko and Bugs.

Yakko hopped off the hood, and all of them began heading off in the direction Foghorn and the other two had vanished, talking animatedly.

"Then he said 'I thought mimes were supposed to be funny - "

"Wak. Wak? Wakko?"

Buster huffed and decided to wait for Wakko to take a breath before he tried to speak. It typically didn't take too long, but normally he hadn't worked himself into a frenzy either.

When Wakko finally stopped talking, Buster jumped in to ask him to explain - preferably slowly and calmly - what happened, and marveled at his tale.

With a sigh, Buster acknowledged that he probably had acted hastily, suggesting the two of them fill in the hole. Funny as all hell true, but it wasn't exactly like anyone else but them could have done it. And they wouldn't be Plucky and Max if they weren't swearing revenge at the first opportunity.

And as much as Buster hated to say it, they had done a fine job. If nothing else, with Max digging the hole and Plucky getting the water and rigging the trip wire, they apparently had learned a valuable lesson about working together.

He hadn't meant to make this go any further, but damn it, Plucky had gotten him so mad, and now Wakko was going to be too mad to let things drop, not that Buster blamed him.

Fine, payback was acceptable. Buster just had to be sure that they didn't go crazy. Wakko was out of his mind at the moment.

" - and Max had better be glad his damn butler knows about cleaning because if my hat had gotten ruined I'd be pissed and anyway what the hell is that?"

Buster looked to where Wakko was pointing. Wakko, like most simple creatures, was distracted easily.

He frowned; Wakko was pointing towards where the food was being kept. Looking, he saw the coolers, a few food crates, a couple of bags - something was moving -

Buster stiffened, worried. Lots of things in the forest would look at a rabbit as tasty prey, even if he was a blue toon rabbit. It was a little hard to explain to a bear that he shouldn't look at him as a viable option for lunch.

Wakko was staring at the moving items, fascinated. Buster decided he'd better spring into action once again before they both got mauled.

Slowly backing up and looking around wildly, he said, "OK Wak, we're the only ones here…can't scream…trying hard not to panic…we gotta walk quickly - "

"No man, hold on," Wakko said in an urgent whisper while clutching Buster's shoulder. "Look at it!"

"I don't want to see what's going to eat me!" Buster hissed back quietly.

"It can't be a bear…too small."

"You forget about the cougars and - "

"Cougars wouldn't like marshmallows…do owls? Nah, they sleep during the day. Or hawks - "

_All things that feast on small mammals…_

"I don't know!" Buster snapped, still fighting his feelings of worry. "Maybe it's got a hardcore sweet tooth!" Inhaling to steady his nerves he said, "Look, let whatever it is have the damn marshmallows, even I don't like Smores that much and I've got the biggest sweet tooth of all of - "

"Look!" Wakko whispered excitedly while clutching his arm painfully.

Buster was watching. Something was dragging the bag of extra large marshmallows out of the wooden food box. He couldn't see much yet, but it didn't help his feelings of terror any.

"It's a skunk!"

Wakko was a master at stating the obvious. Everyone could recognize a skunk - the black and white pattern was pretty damn unmistakable.

And almost as terrifying as a bear, cougar, or any other animal that would look at them as a meal.

Buster watched the bulky creature, still struggling to wrestle the bag out of the crate, finally inhale before ripping the bag open with sharp claws. Amid the large white treats that went flying in every direction, the creature began to dine on them, ignoring the ones that spilled on the ground in favor of wedging most of its upper body in the clear plastic bag.

"OK…those marshmallows are a write-off," Buster whispered, his voice cracking more from uneasiness than puberty. "We leave, go find Dad, let him know - "

"Hell no!" Wakko said loudly.

Buster hushed him, clasping a hand over his mouth. Skunks sprayed and smelled. He had never himself smelled a skunk, but he had read enough books to know that he didn't want to change that any time soon.

They had to get out of there, quickly and quietly…

Hesitantly, Buster slowly removed his hand from Wakko's mouth, hoping he would calm down enough that he wouldn't alert the skunk to their presence.

And get rid of that weird look in his eye. Wakko looked like he had an idea again, which meant he had been thinking.

"I want it - "

"Are you insane?" Buster almost yelled, clutching the front of Wakko's jacket and shaking him while regretting that he hadn't malleted him and dragged him away. "Do you know what those things do?"

"Hell yeah!" Wakko said esthetically. "Come on; I got an idea."

"Oh God help us all," Buster moaned quietly.

Why hadn't he malleted Wakko? Why hadn't he followed Dad? Or retreated further into the woods and continued to write?

"Trust me Boy Blue," Wakko said. "I got an idea to get Max and Plucky back."

"Maybe we should let things die down," Buster said, trying to advise caution before they plunged headlong into madness. "If it involves that skunk, I don't think I want any part of it - "

"I'm sorry, what was that Hampton ?"

"Piss off Inky," Buster retorted. "I don't need you calling me a goodie-goodie too."

"Knew I could count on you," Wakko said happily, slapping Buster on the shoulder. "Now just wait a second."

Half curious and half worried, Buster watched as Wakko, holding one finger to his lip in an effort to get him to be quiet, began to sneak across the camp. Grabbing one of the buckets, Wakko gestured him to catch, then tossed it at Buster.

Buster neatly caught it in one hand, watching as Wakko grabbed a second bucket and with a grin, began to creep up on the animal, which was still gorging itself on the sticky sweets.

Despite his better judgment, Buster shared a smirk with Wakko while creeping up on the animal from the opposite side.

Wakko wanted to capture it; Buster decided he was game. What the hell he planned on doing with it once he caught it was anyone's guess.

While the idea was stirring up all sorts of wonderful images in his head, Buster wondered how Wakko planned on using the unwilling animal if they did manage to catch it. No matter what they did, it was sure to come back on them.

They were all going to be grounded well into their teenaged years by the time this weekend was over. Buster sighed; he had really hoped to be able to take Babs to see a movie before he turned eighteen. Maybe he could write her love letters from his bedroom prison; he bet Fifi could deliver them. She'd think it was all romantic or something…

He shook his head again, chastising himself for not paying attention. They were about to catch a wild animal, and here he was, daydreaming about her. Again. He hoped he could break that habit soon; he hated being distracted.

Buster looked up; Wakko was halfway to the skunk now and signing for him to do the same. The skunk was obviously in the throws of a junk-food high and had not detected either of them yet. Gripping the sides of the bucket tighter, Buster mirrored Wakko's movements, creeping up silently on the animal while wondering what Wakko had planned. No doubt he had half an idea formed, which was fine. Buster could tweak it as needed.

He was already trying to envision what they were going to do with it, but decided they could cross that bridge once they came to it. They hadn't caught the skunk yet.

And God had better help Wakko if they got sprayed, because he would be the only one around that could.

And God had better help both of them if they got caught by the adults. Somehow, he saw whatever Wakko had in mind being deemed 'inappropriate'.

XXXXXXXXXX

_This is gonna be great…_

Snickering despite his weariness, Wakko grasped the end of the rope holding the two red buckets with anxious hands as he shifted slightly on the boulder. As exhausted as he was, he knew their prank was going to be gold and well worth a little fatigue. He looked down at the path again while Buster, holding the other end of the rope that snaked upwards into the tree leaned forward slightly.

"I know I heard them," Buster whispered, his voice shooting up an octave before settling out. "They were coming this way."

"Give them a minute," Wakko said, yanking his rope a few times and looking up in the tree branch where the bucket dangled precariously over the path. "They're probably still hiding from Foghorn."

_I would be._

After they had captured the skunk, trapping the creature between the two buckets, they had heard Foghorn's shouts for the other two boys echoing through the forest. The longer he shouted, the more 'firm' his shouts seemed to get, meaning that Foghorn was going to rip them a new ass when he found them. Foghorn didn't like being ignored.

Wakko and Buster, each holding a bucket, pressed together with the furiously screeching animal trapped between them, had Toonsped off into the woods. As they had meandered around wondering what to do next and trying to get some sort of plan together, they had heard Max and Plucky off to their left. They themselves had been trying to figure out how to stay out of sight for a while.

Looking up at the buckets with a wry expression, Buster muttered, "They'd be smarter to hide from us."

Wakko nodded in agreement; he was still pissed about his dunking in the mud. Buster was pissed because Plucky had been talking shit about his voice, his looks, and his drooling over Babs. After doing a rude impression of her and making Max laugh heartedly Buster had practically gnashed his teeth and lunged out of the tree line at him.

One should never talk bad about Babs within earshot of Buster, and Buster had good hearing. The only one who could talk bad about the pink bunny was Buster. Anyone else would get a good kick with his giant feet.

The rabbit was weird sometimes.

Wakko had been annoyed about it, mostly because he liked the pink bunny too, but was secretly pleased that Buster had heard. The bunny had been somewhat hesitant about this newest prank but hearing Plucky had pushed him fully over to his side.

Which was great; Buster had been able to improve on his plan. Wakko had planned on just holding the skunk by its tail, a clothespin on his own nose. When they walked by he was going to throw it at the two boys.

Buster, fountain of knowledge that he was, had pointed out the many flaws in that plan, but had admitted that catching the skunk might not be an entirely stupid idea. Apparently closing off your nose wouldn't help; the skunk sprayed you to stink; it just didn't reek on its own.

The rabbit had also rightfully pointed out that without a solid plan - including evading detection - would make it just as likely they would get caught by the skunk's wrath as the other two. And if the skunk didn't catch them, the adults might, and he admitted he honestly wasn't sure whose wrath he was more afraid of.

Quick mind already working, Buster had come up with a more complicated yet sure not to backfire idea. Grunting and using pretty much every bit of energy they had left, they had managed to tie the two buckets together with rope they had snuck out of Foghorn's truck.

The rabbit already had a pretty good layout of the area surrounding their site, and had heard enough of where Max and Plucky planned on going to suggest they go to where a couple of trails crossed. There was a large boulder to hide on that would protect them not only from being seen, but would keep them being sprayed themselves.

Buster said a skunk wouldn't climb up a rock to get them, but if they were hiding on the path there was a one in four chance the skunk would shoot off in their direction if they were hiding on the ground. Buster also said there was no guarantee that the skunk would spray anyone; he said it was more likely it would take off after hissing. The most that would probably happen would be it would scare the piss out of Max and Plucky.

Wakko looked at the length of rope in his hand before glancing over at the other end in Buster's hand.

Buster had a vision in mind, but admitted he couldn't tie many knots that would be helpful in this situation.

Wakko, who had been growing somewhat chagrinned at Buster taking over planning of the entire operation, had volunteered that he knew several. Buster had nodded and when Wakko had explained what he thought would work, the rabbit had been enthusiastic. Buster could get a little bossy at times, but Wakko was relieved to notice that the rabbit seemed OK with him chiming in and offering suggestions or improvements.

And damn it, Wakko knew knots.

Foghorn had taught him how to tie a few different knots over time that the rooster claimed would come in handy at some point. At the time he had been teaching this one to him, Wakko had some doubts about that.

He no longer had any doubts about it and was silently gloating that he had been able to tie it correctly this time after a few tries. This particular knot was proving to be very useful, though Foghorn probably hadn't had this in mind when he was showing it to him.

Wakko heard something on the path and jerked on his end of the rope a couple of times, watching the buckets sway back and forth. After a few minutes he had managed to tie the complicated knots and had felt extraordinarily proud of himself; he had always had problems with this one. He gave a pleased look at his section of rope, which was controlling the buckets, supporting the weight and would raise and lower them at the correct time. Buster's end, when pulled, would separate the two buckets, releasing their little living stink bomb.

When Wakko yanked his section of rope again, his ears, fully raised to pick up any sounds, heard the skunk's shriek of indignation and the sharp claws scratching against the plastic. That was gonna be one pissed off skunk when Buster pulled his end of the rope.

"Gotta admit Wak," Buster said quietly, directing his own gaze to the tree and watching the buckets gently sway. "Didn't think you'd be able to pull it off."

"Told ya - Foghorn's taught me a bunch of these things."

"He teach you how to tie a noose yet?" Buster asked with a chuckle and a shake of his head. Blowing an ear out of his face he added, "I have a feeling we're hanging ourselves with this latest idea."

Wakko started. Foghorn had been teaching him now to tie a hangman's noose. He hadn't wanted to, but with enough pestering and a bit of flattery, the rooster had finally relented. Wakko hadn't perfected it though he was confident that he'd get it eventually.

"This is gonna be faboo, you'll see," Wakko muttered, more to himself than to Buster. Angrily he jerked the rope a few more times, stirring the buckets and its passenger up more. "Max thinks I fucked with him before? Wait until he gets a load of - "

"Quiet!" Buster hissed, smacking him on the shoulder. Looking at Wakko still jerking his rope he asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Adding fuel," Wakko snickered. "It's like a can of soda - gotta shake it up a bit before you open it to get the full effect."

Shaking his head and laughing quietly, Buster whispered, "You know they're gonna try to kill us for this right? There'll be no chance they'll ever forgive us for this."

"Please," Wakko scoffed. "Like I care. Those two - "

Wakko cut off his insult and ducked his head, almost scraping his chin on the rough stone.

His prey had arrived, and as usual were running their mouths.

" - and it was like playing - "

"Plucky," Max sighed. "If you equate our lives to another fucking video game, I will reach into your chest and rip your heart out. Seriously, I played enough of these stupid games over the years with you to have a one in ten chance of accomplishing it."

"It wasn't stupid," Plucky argued.

Cautiously, Wakko raised his head slightly, Buster following suit, to survey the situation.

Max and Plucky were at the top of the trail. Max, hands in his pants pockets, was casually strolling down the path while looking bored and annoyed. Plucky meanwhile, was clutching a large branch and looking around at everything like he was just waiting for an attack.

Smart duck.

"What are you doing?" Max asked, looking from the trees to Plucky with a bored expression. "You act like we're about to be attacked - "

"We probably are," Plucky said, spinning around and brandishing his branch like a sword. "Say what you want. I'm not gonna underestimate them and I know - "

"You don't know anything," Max countered in a clipped snotty tone. "Buster is no doubt off kissing the arse of anyone over the age of twenty. Wakko is most assuredly still trying to wash a layer of mud off his body."

"Jeeves' influence is showing through again Monty," Plucky said dryly while still swishing his branch around. "Might wanna watch that; make Wakko jealous."

"Shut that bloody cakehole of yours," Max laughed. "The Mime's been butchering the King's English since the day he was born."

_Arse? Bloody cakehole? King's English?_

Wakko snorted; what a poser. He had ended up with the British accent and Max was talking like he just fell off the British isle.

Wakko jerked on the rope a few more times. He wanted the skunk to scare the shit out of them but hoped he wasn't pissing it off enough it would attack. He hadn't thought about it originally, but Buster and his 'think things through…usually' mentality had pointed out the skunk might bite or scratch them.

Wakko had almost hesitated. Almost. He was angry; furious, enraged. He wanted to get them back for their stunts but he didn't want to see them hurt or killed.

Then he remembered his hat was almost ruined.

He reached up with his left hand to touch the hat, still damp but clean and perched securely on his head. He sighed, wondering what Elmyra was doing right now. He wished skunks didn't stink; Elmyra would probably love a big fluffy skunk to hug. He resolved to buy her a big plush one when he got back home if he couldn't bring a living one home to her.

Then he flushed. What the hell would he buy her a present for? It wasn't like it was her birthday again. He couldn't buy her a present if it wasn't for an occasion.

Could he?

Well, he could buy it for her…just because. Yeah, because she was upset he was leaving for the weekend and couldn't come to the skating rink with everyone else. Now it would be just the girls. Well, Hampton might be there, but he sort of counted.

Yeah, that was it. It was a consolation prize - it wasn't because he wanted to see her smile or anything. That was just stupid. It was because she couldn't go camping with the boys. Sort of like Dot - they were girls. They wouldn't like going to the bathroom in the woods…

Why the hell was he thinking about Elmyra? He had an important mission to carry out.

Too bad; this wasn't a bad prank to pull, one of their most epic ones ever.

And yet, it was lacking somehow, without the four of them.

With a bit of longing he looked at his left shoulder. Whenever they pulled pranks, more often than not it was the four of them involved. Usually Max was leaning over Wakko's left shoulder, cracking jokes or giving some sarcastic comment as he observed and noted any problems that could cause it to backfire. Wakko looked over towards Buster, envisioning the outline of Plucky's form hunched over the rabbit's shoulder as they went over whatever was ideally supposed to happen.

He shrugged, feeling a cold chill run up his back for a moment before disregarding it. He hadn't started this, but damn it he could finish it.

"Pay attention!" Buster hissed. "Or you changed your mind?"

"Never," Wakko snorted. "This is revenge gold right here."

He watched as Max and Plucky got nearer to them, exchanged a look with Buster and nodded, pushing back his prior thoughts.

"Remember," Wakko whispered quietly while giving his rope a final rough yank before letting his end of the rope go. "Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes."

"Got it," Buster croaked back, his eyes firmly locked on Max and Plucky's approaching figures. "Target's almost in the kill zone - stand by to bring in our paratrooper."

Wakko nodded, his own eyes on their targets and his hands sweating in anticipation. Timing was everything. If he dropped the buckets too early they would have time to run.

He pushed all thoughts of Elmyra, Dot, regrets about former friendships and everything else from his mind.

Nothing mattered but the mission and vengeance.

Time to break the rich kids. Operation Bank Robbery was about to begin.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Come on you little shit, I know you're gonna try something stupid…_

Only half listening to Plucky as he talked and looked like a total tool swinging a tree branch around like a light saber, Montana continued his attempt to give off the air of one unconcerned. If he appeared nonchalant, it would not only continue to show his utter discontent with his current situation, but it might help to keep Plucky calm. The duck could be a loose cannon at times of high stress, and Montana was worried he might accidentally cause himself injury.

Or him. Montana would hate to have to kill Plucky because he went into a panic and hit him in the face with a branch. The duck had already panicked once when a small cottontail bunny had dashed across the path in front of them. Plucky had tripped over himself in his haste to turn tail and run in the opposite direction, almost impaling himself on his branch.

Annoyed, Montana had stopped him before he ran straight backwards. Foghorn and the others were still pursuing them. The rooster was swearing he 'just wanted to have a friendly chat with you boys ' but Montana had doubts about that.

This was the rooster that had suggested he dig a hole.

A hole. He had dirt in places he had previously been unaware would collect dirt.

He was interested in no chats, friendly or otherwise, with his torturer.

Or his newest comrade in torture Jeeves.

Montana scowled at the thought of the butler. Damn the man, he was still acting like this was a jolly good time when in reality it was getting worse. He was a better actor than DeNero.

Inwardly seething at the butler, Montana scanned the path ahead, seeing nothing outwardly suspect to cause him alarm. Jeeves could be damn tricky when he set his mind to something.

Montana knew he was giving off a calm air, but inside his nerves were taut. Plucky might be jumping around like a maniac, but Montana was going with a more levelheaded approach.

Despite what Plucky may think, he had no thought of 'underestimating' Wakko or Buster. Buster could be bossy as all hell at times, and Wakko was so scatterbrained he could barely remember what year it was, but neither of them was a complete idiot.

Underestimating them would be foolhardy, and Montana prided himself on not being a total fool. He had underestimated them once already and look what had happened.

He narrowed his eyes, beginning to seethe at his non-present foes. How dare they fill in his hole?

He had almost shit himself when he came back and found the hole filled in. Grudgingly, he had to admit, if the roles were reversed he might have done it himself. It was so…unexpected.

Sadly; it had also been brilliant.

Montana almost hit himself at his own stupidly. Whether he currently hated them or not, he knew those two, very very well. Leaving the hold unguarded, especially after the verbal spat, had practically been begging for them to do something.

He decided to count his blessing that they had not decided to do something worse. He shrugged to himself though; this was a prank war. Pies, insults, mud, all those items would be expected in this sort of fight.

Odds were that neither of the other two, no matter how angry, would do anything dangerous. They barely counted as worthy foes, but neither was deadly.

He hoped.

Luckily digging it again had taken little effort, but he had learned his lesson. Being stronger and more pissed off than Plucky, he had managed to re-dig it in about twenty minutes by himself.

It had been easy, once he pretended he was digging a grave for the other two.

Winded and furious, he had sent Plucky off to find Foghorn and Jeeves to inspect the hole to see if it met with their approval and release him from at least that hell. He had stayed at the hole to protect it, holding his shovel like a club least either of the other two dared to come near it and marching in front of it like a soldier walking post.

Then, to add insult to this current injury, when they had arrived Foghorn had laughed at him. And while Montana hadn't seen Jeeves crack a smile, he could pick up the amused condescending air coming from him, infuriating him. Jeeves was probably paid at least halfway decently for this nonsense, if his actually emigrating from England was any indication. The least he could do was not laugh at his employer or scold him.

And Jeeves still hadn't told him how digging the damn hole was going to 'build character'. The only thing Montana saw it doing was building calluses. When he demanded an answer, Jeeves told him to hush or he'd ask Foghorn if he could purchase the shovel from him. In the future, if Montana acted up Jeeves said he would send him in the backyard to dig holes as punishment along with his other usual techniques.

Montana almost shuddered but had not replied.

Inwardly though, he was almost daring him to try it. If he did, Montana had every intention of renting a 'Ditch Witch' or some form of construction equipment and tearing up the yard.

He inwardly smirked at the image; bet Jeeves wouldn't be so quick to force his employer's child to do something after that. He bet his parents would even fire Jeeves; maybe they would get a butler who would be a bit more malleable.

And actually cared less.

Montana wasn't sure if that was the ideal solution, but he was still too annoyed to think about it further. Let Jeeves push him just once more though; Montana was confident that if he threatened to report him to his father that he would back off. Butlers were probably a dime a dozen and he had serious doubts that there was but so much call for them, especially in ToonTown. The man would find himself out on his unemployed arse if he pushed him one more time. Surely he would back off, remember not to overstep the boundaries of his job if reminded of his place.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to go tread down that path, but Montana decided to enjoy the brief interlude into his own imagination since it was vastly preferable to thinking about the dirt trail he was on. He would demand that Jeeves hand over that stupid fuse so Plucky could play his damn game and shut up about it.

Then Jeeves could drive them home where they belonged, perhaps stopping off to get ice cream first. He could invite Mary over so they could further explore all the hints and tricks she got out of the latest issue of Cosmopolitan since she studied it with the same intensity that a theological student studied the Bible.

He sighed, again cursing Jeeves for dragging him out there. The only interesting thing that had happened out there, besides finding out what Buster and Wakko were really like, was watching Foghorn cook meals over the fire. Despite his insults about the roosters cooking, secretly Montana had been impressed. The food was good.

Montana had tried to not pay attention so he could distance himself from his surroundings as much as possible, but he had been unable to do so. The entire time the man had been cooking Jeeves had been beside him, trading recipes and information, and Montana had been paying attention.

Jeeves had started to teach him how to cook, or at least explaining the basics to him lately, but Montana 's own stubborn refusal to listen to him had sort of cancelled the makeshift lessons. He sort of regretted that now - maybe after Jeeves got through the basics it got more interesting?

Perhaps when they got back to civilization he would demand that Jeeves continue; he was paid to be one of his tutors on top of everything else.

Hearing a cracking noise in the woods near them, Montana started from his musings to look around while Plucky babbled on about something important only to himself.

Montana stood still, surveying the scene. They were near where a few paths crossed. Straight down the path would lead them toward the lake; behind them was the campsite. He had no idea where the other paths would lead, but it wouldn't lead toward the adults and that suited his current plan fine. Foghorn - no doubt Jeeves as well - most assuredly wanted to discuss their latest 'prank' with him.

He saw nothing; no adults, no animals, no former friends plotting on how best to screw them next, no indication of trouble.

"Hey Plucky, shut that big beak of yours for a minute would you?" Montana finally asked, glancing at his friend.

_Mouth big as the River Clyde._

"Why?" Plucky questioned, falling silent at Montana 's look before looking about with narrowed eyes. "You see something?"

"No…" Montana trailed off, still wondering what was setting off his internal alarms. Something wasn't right.

No doubt their two former partners were hiding in the woods.

Wakko at times could be creative, but he had a tendency to be dreadfully predictable when annoyed or angry. Buster, the little dictator would no doubt be trying to figure out how to attack while keeping their exposure to a minimum.

Chances were, the Mime and Little Boy Blue had rigged a trip wire somewhere that would launch mud pies at them or something else equally trite. Montana had been scanning the path in front of them for any fishy looking ropes or thin wires, even as he had his own ears turned toward suspicious sounds.

Foghorn and the other adults had been pursuing them relentlessly. At this point, all Montana wanted was a place to hide and catch his breath, and figure out how his life got flipped turned upside down.

Maybe Foghorn had run into Wakko while he was pursuing them, and had gotten distracted with him or one of the other pawns in this retarded chess game of a camping trip.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Montana asked waspishly and feeling slightly bad for taking his bad mood out on the one friend he had in the woods. He looked around anyway though; two sets of eyes were better than one.

"I thought I saw..."

Looking around Montana said, "I don't see anything." Glancing at Plucky and seeing his worried expression he added, "Look, I don't think those two idiots would try anything, not right now. Remember, we busted Wakko's ass with that mud hole and I doubt Buster is - "

Surprised, Montana watched in equal parts confusion and horror as two large red buckets swung out of the tree at them. Too startled at the speed they dropped, he wasn't even able to run to protect himself and he closed his eyes, already Chucking his body. He mentally envisioned the buckets hitting him in the face and he dully hoped the perpetrators of this latest attack had not filled them with cement.

Beside him, Plucky stiffened and screamed, curing into a ball in the middle of the path while still clutching his branch, the leaves still attached to it shaking.

Montana waited for the hit, hoping he Chucked at the correct time and that he was not too badly injured.

He knew Wakko was pissed, as well as Buster. He honestly had not imagined they would try to seriously hurt them. Get them dirty, get them yelled at or in trouble, hell, even get one of them a beating in the woods; he could accept that. He had been trying to do the same thing.

But he hadn't tried to cause them serious injuries. At worse, the most that had happened to Wakko was maybe a skinned knee. Montana honestly expected that Wakko would retaliate with maybe a mallet shot - Chucked of course.

But this? A surprise direct hit in the face? The Mime and the rabbit had dark ugly streaks hidden deep within their cores that Montana had not considered. Than again he had never thought they would do some of the things he had seen them do this weekend.

Montana never thought he would do some of the things he had done this weekend to them either. This pretty much killed any chance they had of maybe one day putting this behind them, becoming at least acquaintances -

"I-I-Is i-i-it o-o-o-o-over?"

Montana swallowed hard before cracking one eye open. He looked directly in front of him, wondering what the gag was.

Two red buckets, tied together with a stupid looking bow now were dangling about five feet off the ground, still swaying slightly from their drop. He regarded them for a second, waiting to see if a bomb was going to go off. After a moment nothing happened.

He looked down at the gibbering ball of feathers that was his friend and snidely said, "Yes Lionheart, it's over. The fucking idiots gave us a piñata."

Opening his own eyes, Plucky looked up at Montana, who arched one eyebrow at him before looking again at the buckets.

"Piñata? Like candy? Buster willingly giving over candy?" Plucky muttered, climbing to his feet and stepping up beside Montana. "I don't get it."

"As usual," Montana said, already turning from Plucky to look at the buckets.

"I knew they were around, I just knew it!" Plucky crowed. "But this?" He grimaced slightly before jabbing at the buckets with his thumb. "Is it a peace offering?"

"Well I do not accept it," Montana said crisply. "I can purchase my own candy."

"Maybe they screwed up and it's supposed to be a gag like from Home Alone?"

"Who the hell knows," Montana snapped. Looking out into the woods he couldn't see anything but yelled anyway. "Figures they would try some cowardly shit like this." Shaking his head in mock disappointment he added, "Come out and face us!"

"Hell yeah!" Plucky said just as loudly. "Hey assholes!" He jeered, taking the branch and smacking the buckets a couple of times, making them spin furiously. "If you bothered to watch the whole movie you'd know that it was paint buckets in the face and not dangling three feet away! Stop ripping off other pranks and come up with - "

_What the fuck?_

Montana blinked and backed up a step when the rope suddenly went taunt, then slacked off and the buckets separated, crashing to the ground and rolling away to the side of the path.

He saw a flash of something, a large black and white furry thing come spinning out, landing on four feet and be blinked, unsure of what he was seeing.

_It's hissing._

_It's pissed._

_It's black and white._

_It's a present from Buster and Wakko obviously._

_It's not candy._

_Oh hell no._

Frozen in surprise, branch still extended, Plucky asked quietly, "What - "

"Skunk!"

Montana tried to warn Plucky, he really did. He was no Mark Trail but any simpleton knew what a skunk was. And what they did.

Any simpleton of course.

He was not on the path with just any simpleton though.

He was on the path with Plucky.

"Pluck…don't move," Montana said, struggling to keep his own voice low and calm. Loud yells of complete, mind-numbing panic could startle either of the lesser creatures he was currently on the path with.

"What the hell?" Plucky breathed, staring at it with wondering eyes.

Then he smacked it with his branch, rustling the few leaves left on the branch right in its face. The creature, after making a few threatening hisses was in the process of turning before Plucky's act.

Montana had no idea how the other two caught the skunk. He had no idea what he had done to deserve being stuck in the woods with the others. He knew there was no possible way that every sin in his life could add up to what was happening before his eyes.

The skunk had obviously been pushed to its limits.

Head cocked in wonder and dread, Montana watched as time froze for him and all his limbs refused to respond. He couldn't even get his jaw to work to yell at Plucky to stop, to once in his life listen to someone besides the voices in his own head.

The skunk lowered its head to the dirt path while raising its rear end in the air, twitching the tip of its tail.

"What - ahhhhh! Oh God what the hell - "

Plucky cut off his questioning as the pungent odor filled his nasal cavities and he went down like he'd been sucker punched.

Montana stopped paying attention to what Plucky was saying, mostly because he was having problems of his own.

He had smelled curdled milk. Once when he was very young a mouse had died in the wine cellar and had begun to rot - he had caught a scent of that too when he snuck down there.

Rotten food. Garbage trucks. Dumpsters on the lot behind the cafeteria. Sweat after a very rigorous game of football. Munster cheese. Buster's bedroom. Stink bombs. The liver and onions that Mary's mother cooked once.

Nothing compared to this smell.

If the smell could somehow be bottled, put into a bomb and dropped on enemy troops, wars would end in minutes. The Nazi's would have crumbled in defeat at one whiff of the aroma, thereby saving millions of lives if Britain or the United States could have harnessed the power of the skunk.

If the sound of Plucky's and his own rough scream of shock could also be used as some sort of sonic weapon, wars wouldn't even start. No one would want to risk the threat of hearing it. It was the sound of complete and utter despair; hearts could stop at the sound.

Choking on the odor, he staggered backwards, hands to his throat as his eyes watered. Not paying attention and not caring, he tripped over the gasping Plucky, who had collapsed to the ground in a whimpering heap behind him.

Montana ignored Plucky's wail of protest as his foot hit the duck's head and he tumbled over him. He gave him a kick for good measure, catching the duck in the side. When he could breathe again, he'd beat his ass for this.

"What…Monty - "

"Fuck! Shut up!" Montana cut him off.

Trying not to blow chunks all over the place, Montana managed to heave himself forward. Coughing and on his hands and knees, he managed to catch a glimpse of black and white heading into the bushes on the side of the path.

Over his own hacking and Plucky's wheezing, he thought he caught another sound; a jubilant laughter coming from his right.

He hadn't wanted to hear that, but with those two, he supposed they wanted to stand around and survey their handiwork firsthand. Which was fine; that meant when he was fully recovered they would be that much closer to his fists.

Then he heard another sound. Someone else was coming.

Then he heard an unwelcome voice.

"Hold on - I say - hold on! Boys are in trouble…Oh for the love of - "

Montana lost what he was saying as he coughed again because he inhaled, his own gags closing off his ears.

He looked up weakly, seeing Foghorn through watery eyes. The rooster was on the path about ten feet away and retreating rapidly.

A few seconds later Montana found himself the subject of intense scrutiny as Jeeves, Yakko and Mr. Bunny came running up behind the rooster. They skidded to a halt, the entire group regarding them with dropped jaws.

Montana glared at them with as much strength as he could muster, considering he was in the process of coughing up a lung.

Foghorn stared at him and Plucky before sighing and shaking his head, holding a hand over his face and rubbing the top of his beak.

Mr. Bunny watched them for a few seconds, mouth open in shock. Then he inhaled. His face fur turning an odd shade of green he quickly took a few steps back, waving his hand in front of his face in an effort to get the fumes away from him.

Yakko, holding his breath looked at him, glanced at Plucky and did a very odd smirk. Then he reached behind him, Fritzed a clothespin and put it on his nose with a large grin, wincing slightly

Montana glared at him, hoping one of the other adults would smack him on the head. It seemed to be a running gag throughout the entire trip.

Sadly, none of them did. Mr. Bunny looked at Yakko, seemed to think it was a good idea and Fritzed one himself.

Jeeves looked alarmed. He took several quick steps toward him, holding his breath and Montana breathed a sigh of relief, happy that someone seemed to want to dash to his rescue instead of observing him like an experiment. Then he caught a whiff of the pungent aroma and retreated.

Then Jeeves chuckled.

Chuckled. Like he thought it was funny his two charges smelled worse than a rotten corpse in the summer sun. If he wasn't still trying to recover from the smell himself Montana was tempted to run up and give Jeeves a big hug like he used to when he was five.

Coughing and trying to hide a smile behind a hand that was held up to his nose and mouth, Jeeves dryly asked, "Master Montana. It was only a weekend trip. There was no need to try to escape through a septic system."

Montana felt himself color at the joke, especially when the others began laughing heartedly. Glancing over he could tell Plucky was about on the verge of tears and felt another wave of humiliation and anger come over him along with sympathy for his friend.

Plucky, idiot that he was didn't have much to do with this spat. This was between him and Wakko.

"I know - I say - I just know I'm gonna regret asking, but why did you two decide to tangle with a skunk?"

"We didn't," Plucky whimpered, finally managing to stand on shaky legs. "We were just walking, minding our own business when…" Plucky inhaled and wailed out, "When it just flew out of a piñata and pissed on us!"

Montana heard the roars of laughter and just closed his eyes as he slowly tried to become accustomed to the smell while hoping Jeeves or someone had soap strong enough to wash the odor off with.

"Hey docs, what the…what the hell?"

Montana refused to open his eyes. He didn't need to see to know who the newest witness to his humiliation was.

"Stand back Bugs, boys done tangled with a skunk and lost."

Montana opened his eyes and glared as Foghorn hesitantly walked toward them, taking a very wide path around them to avoid the worse of their fragrance. Stiffening his spine, he refused to turn as Foghorn passed him and Plucky, but he could feel the rooster's eyes drilling into him as he tried to figure out what the next step should be.

Meanwhile, Bugs was looking horror struck and was waving his hand in his face. Then he started staring at them, moving his eyes to Foghorn. Then it was back to them before he jumped and looked behind him. Then he would look around again, twitching. Montana wondered if the rabbit had finally gone insane out in the woods. Personally, he wasn't that far behind him.

God damn it. When he got his hands on Wakko -

"Which skunks they tangle with?" Yakko called, his normally high-pitched voice having a whiney twang to it due to the pin still attached to his nose. "I know there's wild skunks in these woods. Think there's a couple of two legged ones in our group as well."

"Skunk? Two legged? Oh the smell," Bugs moaned while Mr. Bunny gently patted him on the back. "Why? Why would they - "

"Easy Bugs, we'll get them cleaned up," Mr. Bunny said in a soothing voice.

"No!" Bugs said, backing away.

"Now Bugs, know they been acting up but we can't - "

"No!" Bugs said again insistently. "It's…them…they…those kids…" Shaking himself Bugs bellowed, "They can't help themselves! It's an epidemic of lunacy!"

Montana watched in wonder, forgetting the situation for a moment as Bugs started to stalk towards them. He chose to be happy about the stench for a moment; the rabbit had murder in his eye, but he quickly retreated to a safe distance once he caught another whiff of their stench.

Not that Montana blamed him; it was so thick and permeating that he was surprised it wasn't actually visible.

"You! It was you!" Bugs shouted, pointing a finger at them.

"Me what?" Montana said, attempting to keep the demanding tone out of his voice.

"That was meant for me!"

_He pissed off Wakko too?_

"It wasn't enough, hiding my sunglasses!" Bugs began raging. "Or throwing away my coffee! Or luring that raccoon into my car! Now…this!"

Montana wondered what the hell Bugs was raving about and was curious why Jeeves started chuckling again. Jeeves could be a stick in the mud - surely he wasn't running around pulling pranks in Montana 's name was he?

"Bugs!" Plucky wailed, desperately trying to cling to some semblance of pride and failing miserably. "We didn't - "

"Don't bother to deny it!" The rabbit contained to rant, stomping around in a circle and shaking his fists. "Wild animals in the woods already and then we had to cart four more in!"

Yakko, clothespin still attached to his nose, started laughing and feebly leaned against Jeeves for support.

Jeeves looked suspiciously amused. So did Foghorn. What the hell was going on? Was everyone deranged? Was there something in the water he needed to be concerned about?

Foghorn, poking through the bushes near them, finally looked over at Jeeves, who pointed up. Foghorn craned his neck up and peered into the trees.

"Second time my rope done walked off and pulled a prank," he muttered. "Thing's chalked up more miles than a marathon runner this weekend."

"I am glad that everyone's found our misfortune so amusing," Montana said crisply. "Including you Jeeves - "

"Hold the attitude boy," Foghorn said, wiping at an eye as he started snickering again.

"Mister Foghorn," Jeeves finally said, looking from Montana and Plucky to the rooster. "I know I do not posses enough vinegar on my person to get them clean - "

"Vinegar…Yeah, need some of that too. We use tomato soup where I come from," Foghorn said, waving his hand at them. "Course, don't think Campbell 's possesses enough soup to get this stank off." Sighing, he yelled, "Wakko! Buster! Come on out! You boys are coming into town with us; you got - I say - you got a lot of cans of tomato soup to be opening."

"Town?" Bugs queried.

"Yeah, town rabbit," Foghorn said. "Unless you got about five gallons of tomatoes these boys can bath in. And a tub."

"Excuse me?" Montana asked. "I refuse to - "

"Be silent Master Montana," Jeeves said. "You two no doubt started this, though I confess I do not wish for them to get in the rental - "

"Don't worry 'bout it," Foghorn said. "We'll take the truck; these two can ride in back. It's where we usually haul the manure."

Montana gritted his teeth at everyone's laughter, stiffened his upper lip, and refused to meet anyone's eye, especially Jeeves. One of the snorts of laughter sounded like it had gushed from his lips.

Yakko was laughing harder, dislodging the clothespin as he stumbled and took a deep breath. He looked like he regretted that as he started coughing and laughing at the same time. The teenager finally fell to the ground, his ass making the dirt puff around him briefly as he weakly held his sides.

Montana glared at him and wondered how Dot would feel, being the only remaining Warner Sibling after this weekend was done.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh come on - "

"You two did the prank, you can - "

"Prank?"

"Us?" Buster gasped, folding his hands and adopting the face of a choirboy. "We still insist that we don't know anything about a prank."

"We were just exploring the woods," Wakko added insistently. "Getting back to nature…or something, you know…learning about wildlife, sharing what we learned, like skunks really like marsh - "

"Shut up Wak," Buster hissed quietly. "You're not helping."

Yakko watched, leaning against the side of the Chevrolet as Wakko and Buster, matching looks of innocence in place on their furry little faces, denied any knowledge of what happened to their stinky friends. Foghorn didn't seem to be buying it as he firmly pressed two small can openers into their unwilling hands.

Wakko gave Yakko a long look that clearly said 'help me' but Yakko smirked and held his hands up. Wakko and Buster had left him with Smokey; he wasn't helping them with the cans.

Smokey had been more painful. He was going to suffer lifelong scarring due to his chance encounter with the ranger bear. They were getting off easy.

When Wakko continued to give him the pleading look, Yakko turned to watch the town instead.

"Yak - "

"You're on your own kiddo," Yakko said, looking over his shoulder at him. "You four runts play too dirty for my tastes."

"Oh, we're dirty?" Buster snorted. "I find that sorta ironic, coming from someone who dunked Bugs in the mud."

"You only wished you had come up with the idea first," Yakko retorted, finally turning away from them.

If he didn't he'd almost feel sorry for them. They were creative little brats though; he didn't think preteens could engage in chemical warfare. One of them was going to whip out Mustard Gas next.

Yakko heard them sigh at his turned back but ignored them to watch a couple of girls, a brunette and a redhead, get into a Jeep and drive off, wishing he was going with them.

Just being in the company he was in right now was sort of embarrassing; not because of who they were, but because of the foul stench emanating from the rear of the pick up.

Not enough Glade in the world to cover the stench of those two. They smelled like week old used kitty litter.

"Let's go - I say - let's go you two," Foghorn said, herding Wakko and Buster off like a couple of ducklings towards the rear of the truck. "You can start on the cans I found - "

"We don't wanna go back there," Wakko argued as he was led away like a prisoner with an equally reluctant looking Buster. "They stink."

"No thanks to you - "

"It's not our fault they don't know how to leave wildlife alone," Buster said, his voice fading under Foghorn's lecture that everyone knew would be coming at some point.

They still continued to protest and Yakko rolled his eyes. Foghorn and the other adults were buying their 'Who us? No, you must be mistaken' act about as much as he was. For a couple of actors, Yakko expected them to be better liars. He could see right through them.

Maybe if the idiots hadn't left the rope in the tree. Or the buckets on the side of the path. Or marshmallows scattered over half the campsite.

Or if they hadn't come nonchalantly strolling back into camp, whistling a zippy little tune with their hands in their pockets. No one had pushed them much for details yet, not that anyone could. Buster and Wakko weren't talking, and it was hard to question the other two when no one could breathe from the smell.

Everyone had made Max and Plucky stay at least fifteen feet away and they could still smell them. On the ride to town the two boys had ridden in the bed of the truck like a couple of hunting dogs, and if Foghorn stopped the truck for any reason they could smell them.

Yakko shuddered, casting a glance back at the two boys still sitting in the pickup bed. Max was just hiding his face, no doubt embarrassed beyond belief. Plucky, whether too clueless to realize he should be embarrassed or just not caring, was seething beside him, casting murderous looks at Wakko and Buster.

A barrel of fish left out in the Mojave for a week wouldn't smell as bad as them right now. Yakko looked around the street, half embarrassed at being seen with them. The town people had almost known they were coming before they arrived; the thick odor had actually beaten them to town.

People had actually run from the truck as it drove down the street. Yakko, from his position inside the truck, had seen people turn when the big Chevy had come rolling past, first to look and say 'Wow! It's the Loo…Oh my God the smell!'.

He felt like he was in a Pepe Le Pew cartoon. He expected to see the humans Toonspeed away from their vehicle screaming.

And now, the hunt was on for every single bottle of vinegar, along with every can of tomato soup that could be found in such a small town, and a hotel room they could rent where the two boys could shower. He grinned at the thought of Max and Plucky, sitting in a tub full of tomato sauce.

Perfect place for a couple of meatballs.

And Buster and Wakko, those lucky bastards, had to open each and every can as punishment despite their protests of innocence.

Yakko decided it was a good idea; it would keep them busy, and after opening that many cans, their hands would be too sore to pull any pranks for a while.

Than again, it would give them time to scheme.

"We should split up, go to every store," Mr. Bunny said, coming up behind him. "Maybe hit the restaurants too."

"Ranger - I say - the ranger said the boys can bathe at his station. Gotta burn those clothes," Foghorn added, casting a look at the pungent pair.

"Yakko, let's go see what's in the restaurant," Bugs ordered. "We'll buy whatever we can get our hands on."

"Uh huh," Yakko said, barely hearing Bugs.

He had spotted something a lot more interesting than the rabbit.

Blonds.

Even better…twin blonds.

He watched them for a moment; sexy, curvaceous, long tan legs encased in cut off jeans.

They both moved together, giggling as they crossed the street; they were even eating red Popsicles. It was like a mirage - yes, he was in hell, but here was a picture of perfection. He concentrated on keeping his tongue in his mouth so he wouldn't look like some hormonally driven teenager. These two girls looked to be in their late teens or early twenties; they wouldn't be impressed if they looked up and saw him leering at them.

But damn it, how could he not? They were angels. They were probably used to city boys coming up and gawking at them; but he was better than that.

He was suave, debonair, and he -

"Yakko!"

- had one nosey ass rabbit bellowing in his ear.

"Ow!" Yanking his long ear out of Bugs' gloved hand he snapped, "I'm right here! You don't need to yell!"

"Sorry doc," Bugs replied with a wicked smirk. "The way your eyes were popping out of your head, I was worried you were having an attack - "

"Ha ha," Yakko muttered, coloring slightly when he heard a few chuckles from behind him. He ignored them though, trying to look around Bugs to see where the twins were going.

"Gotta love our kids; four barbarians and a horn dog," Mr. Bunny muttered quietly to Jeeves, who snorted under his breath. "You realize we've got another day out here with them right?"

Sighing, Yakko returned his attention to Bugs.

"You wanted…what?"

"Come on, we're going over to the restaurants, see what any of them are willing to part with," Bugs directed. "Foghorn and Bernie are gonna take the maroons. Jeeves is going to check the store - "

"I'll go to the store," Yakko said hastily, watching his two visions disappear into the mercantile. "By myself." When he saw Bugs look at him skeptically he added, "Please Bugs, what can happen?"

"This ain't the middle of the woods doc, there's people - "

"This isn't LA either Bugs," Yakko pointed out. "TIS isn't around here."

"TIS isn't my only worry," Bugs muttered. "Way too many cloistered spots around and you're too creative."

_You have no idea._

"What? Now you don't trust me…Da-doo?"

The magic words. Bugs looked like he was wilting at the accusation and after a moment sighed, handing over several bills to Yakko.

"Fine, fine. Go; at least I don't have to worry about you. The sooner we get this soup and vinegar, the sooner we can get them cleaned up. We're getting some pretty nasty looks from the townspeople."

They were too. Most of the town was glaring at them like they were Huns attacking the village.

"No, I don't have to worry about you, with these stupid childish pranks and fighting nonsense," Bugs said, putting his arm around Yakko's shoulders. "I lucked out, getting the mature one," he added, casting a pitying look over his shoulder at the others.

Yakko stiffened slightly, wondering if Bugs was that naïve or if he was being sarcastic and was getting ready to toss a pie in his face.

He wasn't; he was still talking about how blessed he was, having Yakko along with him instead of one of the four hellions.

Because Yakko would never stoop to such a level, playing all these asinine tricks on each other that could ultimately end up with someone getting hurt. Yakko was mature, almost an adult…well beyond pranks - and smart enough not to play them on Bugs Bunny.

Yakko started, then felt a slow grin spread across his face.

"Riiiiiight," he drawled, momentarily distracted from the two girls to grin at his tutor.

Such a sweet, trusting, naïve silly little bunny. He almost felt guilty, taking advantage of Bugs' trust in him.

Almost.

Then he remembered that Bugs had taken a picture of him being inducted into the ranks of the Junior Forest Rangers.

Yakko almost shuddered with embarrassment even though only about three people had seen his swearing in ceremony that Bugs had very thoughtfully taken a picture of.

He even had to take an oath: _I give my pledge as an American to save and faithfully to defend from waste the natural resources of my country – its soil and minerals, its forests, waters and wildlife._

All this while wearing a goofy hat with his right hand raised. He couldn't even fight it; the bear was to damn nice. Smokey had shaken his hand, unloaded a million pamphlets on him, signed his very own personal information card and had gone to find more unsuspecting children to bore.

Yakko didn't feel as guilty anymore about pranking his oblivious tutor.

But if he could talk to those two blonds, without the rabbit hanging over his shoulder, he'd forgive and forget.

He was still going to steal back that picture though. If the rabbit thought he had blackmail material on Yakko, he was dead wrong.

Putting his hand on Yakko's shoulder Bugs said, "I trust you doc. I know - "

Seeing the girls through the open door of the store, Yakko nodded hastily, "Yeah, thanks Da-Doo - gotta go - meet ya at the ranger station!"

"Are you - "

Yakko ignored him, intent on doubling his pleasure by at least acquainting himself with the twins when Bugs yelled after him.

"Be careful! Behave!" Bugs hollered. "And don't talk to strangers!"

Yakko clenched his teeth while he closed his eyes, hoping that if he did he wouldn't see the town laughing at him. He was sixteen…almost…He hardly needed to be warned about 'stranger danger'. Bugs was acting like he had regressed to the age of five.

It was like there was some rule that Bugs had to embarrass him as much as possible in this little three-day journey into madness.

He pushed it from his mind though - freedom…In a manner of speaking. The rabbit seemed hesitant to grant him any liberty, but he had apparently made some progress. Looking over his shoulder Yakko could see Bugs walking towards a small eatery.

The rabbit was trying to be subtle anyway; he was only half watching him.

Yakko quickened his pace, finally reaching the wooden porch lining the front of the blindingly white painted mercantile. Slowing some so he didn't look like some desperate boob, he casually walked up the steps, and entered the store with a leisurely stroll.

He looked around momentarily, feeling like he had stepped back into time and wandered into a store in Mayberry. T-Shirts and hiking equipment were over in one section to the left, and some groceries were scattered about, but the main portion of the store still had a rustic look about it.

In the corner, by the food products were several older gentlemen sitting near a wood-burning stove. Two of them were huddled over a barrel; a checkerboard perched on top and were concentrating on the game. The other three were merely watching, making a few comments and sipping coffee out of mugs.

Yakko turned from them to look at the long white counter that dominated the main portion of the store. Large jars of candy lined a long wooden counter and an old fashioned cash register merrily rang up a couple of sodas for a harried looking woman. She turned to give Yakko a small smile before grasping the sodas and hurrying out of the store.

He nodded at her before dismissing her from his mind; the twins were there, behind the counter. One of them was ringing up the orders while the other leaned on the counter and watched, holding her sister's Popsicle while she continued to delicately lick her own.

The more active of the two looked up from the register and took her Popsicle back, giving Yakko a wide smile as she did so.

They were hot, no question. Were they intelligent too? He hoped so. Nothing was less appealing then a hot girl with an empty head.

Well, long term anyway.

Deciding that he could kill two birds with one stone, Yakko boldly strolled across the store, perusing the items on the shelves while feeling both girls' eyes on him.

The old men never looked up from their checker game as he neared them.

After a few moments, Yakko spotted several gallon jugs of vinegar sitting on the bottom shelf. Grasping one in each hand and a third with his tail, he carried them up to the counter, trying to concentrate on not tripping. The girls were still watching, matching dark blue eyes focused on him as he continued towards them.

And why shouldn't they be?

Placing the two jugs on the counter, he raised the third up with his tail and set it beside the other two while watching the twins exchange glances with each other.

"Ladies," he greeted, smiling at them.

"Oh my God, I knew it was him!" the girl behind the register gasped while smacking her sister on the shoulder. "And you said I was wrong!"

Yakko stood a little straighter as she beamed. These girls watched his show. He was almost in before he -

Clasping her hands together and bouncing slightly she almost screamed, "I told you it was Mickey Mouse!"

Yakko felt his ego deflate slightly even as he continued to enjoy the jiggling that came with her overly enthusiastic but incredibly wrong identification.

So much for being recognized.

"Dingbat," the other one scoffed, hitting her sister lightly on the head. "That's not Mickey Mouse! You see round ears?"

Yakko perked up considerably at that and focused on her. Almost identical to her twin, the only difference he could make out was a small mole high on her cheek.

"That's Yakko Warner," she said, standing fully and discarding her Popsicle stick.

"Who?"

"You know… United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama …"

"Oh right!"

Yakko stood a bit straighter. Who cared if the only reason this girl recognized him was because of a silly song? She still knew him.

Flipping some of her long hair out of her face she turned to face him.

"What brings you out here?" She asked, resting her forearms on the counter and giving him a nice showing of cleavage. "Tired of all the hustle and bustle of the big city? Sick of the smog choking every inch of LA?"

"Oh, you know, fresh air, the views…love those hills and valleys," he answered, managing to pull his eyes away from her chest and mentally yelling at himself to get a grip.

"I bet," she smirked, standing again and looking around for a moment. "I've read about you; you take care of your brother and sister; gotta admire that in a guy. Where are they though?"

"I got the weekend off," Yakko said, feeling a moment of pride at the mention of his two younger charges. "Dot's in the city, Wakko's out in the woods with the rest of us." Watching her for a moment he added, "Now you got me at a disadvantage. You know all about me, and I don't even know your name."

"Ivy," she said, thrusting her hand out toward him and gripping his with a firm shake. "This is Iris; she's sort of a twit."

"Hey!" Nudging her sister out of the way, Iris stuck her own hand out at him. "I'm Iris! I'm her twin!" She almost yelled while pumping his arm vigorously. "Our father owns this store and I'm working the cash register!"

_This is what Molly is going to be like ten years from now. Cute as all hell and will have every boy in three counties chasing her, but flightier than a butterfly._

"He can probably figure all that out on his own," Ivy said, bumping her hip back into her twin so she was in front of Yakko again. "Not all city boys are the egotistical little self absorbed jerks that usually wander in here." Reaching out and lightly touching his arm she added, "Every now and then one comes through with some brains."

Yakko decided that this was the 'smart' twin.

"Glad to see you girls have good taste," Yakko said slyly.

"Oh we do," Ivy purred.

Yakko felt his heart quicken slightly. The trip to town was turning out to be much more than a shopping excursion.

"You don't though," Iris chirped, looking at the counter. "That's a lot of vinegar! You wanna buy all that?"

"He brought it up here didn't he?" Ivy said, barely looking over at her sister. "What do you need all that vinegar for?"

Yakko hesitated briefly. Should he get into why he was buying their entire stock of vinegar? He had no wish to embarrass Max and Plucky any more than they already were.

"Ehhhhh…certain members of our party got hit…by a skunk."

"Usually use tomato soup for that," Ivy frowned delicately before shrugging at her still bouncing twin. "Use vinegar on dogs though, when they get hit - "

"Use vinegar for lots of things, " one of the old men said sagely from his checker board. "specially that boy being all covered in fur."

"Yep," came the replies from the four other men, none of which actually looked over in Yakko's direction.

He almost shuddered at them. He'd hate to pass his days, sitting behind a checkerboard. Luckily for him, neither of his siblings liked checkers any more than he did and he had never actually had to play the game.

"Well," Ivy said finally, resting her eyes on him for a moment. "Vinegar can be used to do a lot of things, make a lot of things…" She trailed off for a moment, exchanged another look with her still grinning sister and added, "We can show you later; bunch of us are having a little get-together. Usually weekends here are about as exciting as the Vatican on a Monday night, but sometimes, the city boys can bring some excitement. And you can meet the others - be a shame for you to miss out."

Yakko hesitated. Should he? He absently rubbed his neck while he thought.

The last time he went to one of these little 'get togethers' was with Athena, and he was still recovering from that nightmare. It almost sounded like these girls - Ivy at least - wanted to parade him around a la Athena - 'look at the big star we met!'

Half of these 'get togethers' with teenagers seemed to consist of doing pretty much everything they shouldn't; drugs, drinking…all things he really needed to keep in mind. Wakko would be reaching that age soon enough, and with the company he kept, who knew what they would get into.

He pushed Wakko from his mind for the moment.

He was supposed to be up there with Bugs…bonding or something, though he had mostly been secretly trying to drive the rabbit crazy for his own amusement. Bugs was making it too easy for him really. The rabbit had trusted him to come into the store on his own…after being coerced. And begged.

But damn it…twins. One smart, one…interesting.

Screw the past. Despite his prior experience and against better judgment, he wanted to go. He ignored the little voice in his head that was telling him to use the head with the bigger brain in it - he mentally bitch slapped that voice, telling it to hush.

"We got a Jeep - "

"Sold," Yakko said, running a hand through his hair and jumping at a small twitch on his neck, which he absently scratched.

Twin blonds in a Jeep - nothing more needed to be said. He hoped Ivy drove though; Iris seemed a bit too dilly for his comfort.

He'd put together a plan on how to sneak away from the camp later. Bugs may trust him to wander away to a store within fifty feet of him - unsupervised parties in the middle of the woods was something else entirely.

"So Yakko, I got a question," Iris asked, leaning forward to get his attention.

"Shoot," he answered, pausing to scratch at his ear. Then he reached around straining to reach the small of his back to scratch that as well.

Twirling a lock of shiny hair between her fingers, she asked, "I know there's toon skunks - Flower, Pepe, that purple one on that show…how come you know people that got sprayed? Don't the toons spray too?"

"Good questions," Ivy said, leaning beside her sister to look at him. "Wanna answer professor?"

Yakko thought about that briefly, running his hand through his hair again before scratching at his scalp, thinking.

Toon skunks didn't smell, or none of the ones he had ever met did.

One time he had overheard the little boys telling Fifi she stunk. She didn't of course, unless he wanted to count the buckets of perfume she doused herself in.

The purple skunk, furious, had dumped a plate of lasagna on Buster's head, pulled Wakko's hat down over his face and stomped away, loudly declaring all boys rude, crude, insensitive louts. All boys were immature jerks, and she wanted nothing to do with any of them.

Any of them except Yakko that is.

Yakko smirked at the memory as he scratched his neck.

Unwillingly he had added the purple skunk to his convoy of little girls that continuously giggled around him and tried to be way more mature than they really were. And all he had done was agreed that she didn't stink and she was very cute and mature and the other boys would grow up…eventually.

That somehow translated into 'I adore mi amore' or something equally crazy because the skunk almost fought with Babs to sit next to him if he dared enter the cafeteria when they were around. Dot stubbornly refused to give up her space beside him so that meant there was only one side of him for the girls to sit next to, and neither girl seemed like the type to willingly share.

He felt weird with them following him around; he had tried avoiding them, but damn it they were fast. And clever. He hoped they grew out of it soon; he was tired of hiding in the bathroom when the whole little gaggle of them came around.

Of course, Max and Plucky had thought it was hilarious. They had been sitting on the other side of the table and had managed not to get anyone's lunch dumped on them.

But when he thought about it, he had to admit he was curious. Why didn't Fifi stink? Or Pepe?

Admitting that he had a real deficiency in his skunk odor knowledge, he had asked Bugs one day while they were sitting around set, waiting for a take.

Bugs had explained that much like the way that most rabbit toons could actually tunnel through the dirt if they really wanted to, a toon skunk could produce the spray.

Most just felt no inclination to; it was considered vulgar and bad mannered. Monkeys in the wild typically flung their own offal too, but no one could ever say they had seen Louie or The Great Grape Ape flinging around their filth on a studio stage if they got bored. Hampton and Porky were pigs, but neither of them would be caught dead wallowing around in a mud puddle or eating out of a trough.

Bugs said it was what made them different from their native counterparts. They still possessed the basic qualities of whatever animal their linage went back to, but had the sentience and reasoning skills to know how to behave in society. It was one of the many reasons they were accepted, respected and embraced by the humans. He said it had taken a lot of time and dedication and patience on the parts of both the humans and toons for their species to be fully accepted.

He added that he had caught a small whiff of Pepe once at a Christmas party, when the skunk had a bit too much wine one night. Bugs said with him being so much bigger than a real skunk, he was pretty sure that a full on dose could potentially be lethal. The few whiff's he caught had been strong enough to almost liquefy his face.

He started explaining, scratching at his chest as he spoke, explaining what he could and wondering why he was itching all of a sudden. He wasn't the type to get that nervous…was he breaking out in hives?

Holy hell; did he wander into poison ivy while he was running around spying on everyone? It was like a thousand little stinging bites - everywhere. No matter where he scratched, it continued to itch, while several new places sprung up, screaming to be scratched. It felt like it was deep in his fur, and he had been trying to scratch and not make it obvious, but as he continued to talk, the sensation got worse.

Finally he started using both hands to scratch, knowing he looked like a large black and white chimpanzee and not caring much.

So much for looking like a suave, debonair Hollywood playboy. He probably looked like he had a disease.

"You OK Yakko?" Ivy asked, standing up straighter and taking a step back as she watched him desperately clawing at his body. "You're scratching like you got fleas - "

"Boy's scratching like a hound dog," one of the old men at the table said, glancing at him. "Boy's buying all that vinegar - betcha he caught lice."

"Yep," came the customary reply from the other men.

Ivy and Iris both almost fell over each other as they backed away.

"Lice?" Yakko stammered, almost dropping the vinegar in shock even as he tried to claw at his shoulder. Embarrassed and indignant he almost yelled, "I don't have - "

"It's OK Yakko!" Ivy said, pulling her sister back away from him and looking at him like he was a piece of road kill. "We understand! Look, it'll be seven fifty for the vinegar - just put the money on the counter!" She directed loudly when he fumblingly tried to hand the bills to her. "Counter! Right there!"

He felt himself coloring under his fur as she picked the ten up with her thumb and forefinger. She quickly dropped it in the register before almost throwing his change on the counter.

"But - "

"It's fine, just go," Ivy said, pushing the jugs toward him. "Vinegar will work, just really scrub it in, you'll be fine - I'll find you…um…yeah, we might not go to the party after all," she said, cutting him off. "Probably be really boring. We gotta go count some stock - just came in!" She continued as she drug her sister off towards a door.

"Yeah," Yakko said, scratching at his ears and hoping he didn't draw blink at the way he was clawing at them.

What the hell was wrong with him?

"It'll be fine!" Iris chirped happily as she disappeared through the door. "I hope it works! If it doesn't you'll have to shave your fur off! All of it!" With a giggle she added, "And trust me, its prickly and itchy - "

"Move dingbat!" Ivy snapped, closing the door behind them.

He almost dropped the jugs, humiliated. Wanting to leave quickly and hide as he saw his plans for a beautiful evening going down the drain, he spun around and saw the bane of his existence.

Bugs. Smirking and leaning in the doorway. With a slingshot and a yellow box.

Yakko narrowed his eyes as he got closer.

Acme Itching Powder. In easy to dispense, break on contact tablet form.

God damn this rabbit. Yakko hoped a hunter skinned him and used his pelt for a hat.

"Took ya awhile doc," Bugs greeted him with a wide grin, holding up the slingshot and box for a moment before putting them in his Hammerspace. "Decided to come looking for you - "

"Bugs!" Yakko howled, thrusting two of the jugs into the rabbit's abdomen as he used both hands to claw at his neck and cursed the fact that he didn't have nails. His soft fingertips weren't getting in deep enough for him. "How could you do that to me? Your favorite doo?"

"I know," Bugs sighed melodramatically. "Ain't I a stinker?"

"Bugs - "

"Save it Casanova," Bugs said, nodding his head toward the end of the street. "We got other things to worry about than your love life."

_Yes we do. Like revenge._

_But first, a bath. I can wash the powder off and dream up various revenge plots._

"After the boys are clean you can rinse off," Bugs said. "I only used about five pellets - and I got a whole box Romeo," he added in a warning tone.

_And I know where you sleep_, Yakko thought angrily, all prior thoughts of not pranking Bugs disappearing. The rabbit just kept asking for it.

"And I heard almost everything," Bugs added with a wide smirk. "Remember that if a Jeep comes rolling up. With the way you were jumping around and scratching though I doubt they'll come anywhere near us."

With that statement, Yakko shoved two of the jugs at Bugs and pushed past the rabbit, marching out into the street. Livid, he was already plotting as he continued to scratch at his fur and ignored the curious glances he was getting.

The townspeople were getting one hell of a show from these city slickers. They were going to get another one if he couldn't rinse off shortly; apparently one of the damn pellets had gone down the back of his pants.

Desperate he almost started running towards the ranger station when he heard Bugs start speaking, sounding too self satisfied for Yakko's liking.

"You're a smart kid, but you can't pull anything on me." Laughing he added, "I knew I needed to follow you; you think I didn't see you eyeballing those twins? As you know doc, you can't fool me. I'd hope you'd know that by now."

_And I'd hope you'd know that when you try to interrupt my swerve, it means war._

_End Chapter 5_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Challenges

" and if this keeps up someone's gonna get hurt - "

"But they - "

"Don't pin this on us!"

"You started it!"

"No I didn't but I finished it!"

"Boy - I say - boy, admitting that's about as smart as going pogo-sticking through a mine field! Any of you four got sense?"

Shaking his head, Yakko slouched further against the wall of the ranger station, arms crossed. Already peeved, the past twenty minutes of listening to the adults lecturing the four cretins had pretty much destroyed any semblance of good mood he had left. He was about to put his hands over his ears and go screaming out the front door.

Well, only three of the adults. Foghorn, flanked by Jeeves and Mr. Bunny, towered over the four boys seated at the table, giving a lecture that basically said 'Cut the bull shit out before someone gets hurt. Or you catch one of us ~ trust us kids, you don't want that to happen'.

Bugs had given his own lecture that mostly consisted of 'What did I do to you kids? I adore you four - what did I do? Stop trying to get me!'

Yakko, angry as he was, had grinned to himself while listening to Bugs' paranoid delusions as he marched in front of the four confused boys and eyed them. The more they protested, the more convinced he became that the prank war between them was a cover for their real goal; to get him.

And no matter what anyone else said, the rabbit refused to listen. Bugs was practically pranking himself with his own incompetence.

And by messing with him. Yakko wasn't sure what he was going to do to Bugs, but payback of the highest order was called for. He was confident that when the opportunity presented itself he would jump on it. If he could keep a cool head; Bugs had tried to talk to him twice but Yakko had stomped off, annoying the rabbit and himself. He normally didn't throw childish tantrums.

Now though, with the other four being lectured by the adults to 'play nice' he was stuck near Bugs, who was still trying to talk to him as he flipped through a copy of 'Variety' that he had bought off one of the locals for twice the actual selling price.

"Wonder if Daffy got his lines redone yet?"

Yakko didn't turn to look at him, instead concentrating on watching his brother and Max make rude gestures to each other, out of sight of the adults. Buster and Plucky were actually signing; Yakko watched their hands every time none of the adults' eyes were on them. He shook his head at some of the things they were saying; he was pretty sure that most of the actual threats would be physically impossible, not to mention be illegal in all but the most uncivilized of cultures.

"You four keep crossing the line," Mr. Bunny said in an exasperated tone as all hand motions ceased. "You can't - "

"Least I can cross a line," Max muttered loudly, turning his head to look at Plucky before gesturing toward Wakko. "Only line that idiot can cross is the finish line at the Special Olympics - "

"Piss off Richie Rich or I'll - "

Wakko and Max both cut off when they got smacked upside the head by their respective partners in crime, who were wise enough to keep silent.

Yakko sighed again while watching Foghorn shake his head as Mr. Bunny and Jeeves went forward and grabbed their charges.

"Don't stop 'em doc," Bugs said, barely looking up from his paper and smoothing down his fur. "They can beat each other - give 'em something to do besides try to get me." Turning the page he added, "I got my eye on you four now; don't think you'll get me with any of these pranks."

No one bothered to answer him this time.

Yakko glanced over at Bugs. The rabbit was sitting in an armchair by the cold fireplace, feet propped up on an ottoman. To his side was a small end table, a glass of lemonade on it that he was sipping from. The ranger's wife had dropped off a large pitcher of the drink and sandwiches for 'the poor dears'.

And plenty of aspirin, which was hastily gulped down by everyone over the age of twelve.

Glaring at Bugs for a few more seconds while half hoping something would barge through the door and eat the rabbit alive, Yakko glanced out the window to watch the town. He frowned when he saw a cherry-red Jeep with its top off cruise past, one blond driving, her twin in the passenger seat. He clenched his fists, not only at missing an opportunity to hang out with the Doublemint Twins, but at what Bugs had done.

The entire town knew about the mishap with the skunk; it was just as likely that they also knew that Yakko Warner had lice or fleas. The way things were going he'd probably be approached to do advertising for Sergeant's Flea and Tick Shampoo when he got back to L.A.

Annoyed, Yakko watched the Jeep disappear around the corner as he scratched at the back of his neck, feeling the still damp fur. At least he had managed to get all the itching powder off his fur, even having to rinse out his clothing since there had been little smears of it inside his shirt.

He didn't think Max and Plucky could take that long to get clean, but once again the little mutants had managed to surprise him, taking over an hour to defunk themselves. When the door had finally opened he had practically thrown them out of the way to get in there; the longer the stuff had stayed on, the more potent it grew.

He glanced over at them, Plucky alternating between trying to shut Max up while throwing out his own insults or denying any wrongdoing and preening his feathers. Max meanwhile was still fuming beside him, looking like a freshly peeled tomato his skin was so red-tinged and raw. Yakko had been trying to avoid them; they didn't smell anywhere near as bad as they had of course, but between the vinegar and the soup the two of them smelled like a very old salad bar.

Sighing again, Yakko returned to looking out the window, wishing the adults would be quiet and wondering if they were ever going to leave. After Max and Plucky finished and his own hasty shower, there had been the somber lunch provided by the ranger's family. Before they went back to camp though, the adults wanted to have a chat with the Feuding Four and try to get them to call a truce, at least while they were in the woods.

"Disney's wrapping up that filming of that live action version of '101 Dalmatians'," Bugs said gruffly, drawing Yakko's attention away from the others. "If it was a toon, it shouldn't be made live action later." Snorting and balancing his glass on his thigh briefly he added, "Look at that dreadful 'Masters of the Universe' movie - live action never works. Right Yakko?"

Yakko shrugged without looking at him, instead watching Wakko, tongue peeking out from the side of his mouth, kick Max under the table so hard the other boy almost fell out of his seat.

The few live action versions of a cartoon sucked he agreed, though personally he liked the old live-action Popeye movie well enough. Robin Williams was the closet a human could be to a toon and not have blink running through his veins.

'The Flintstones' was another matter entirely. Whoever thought Rosie O'Donnell looked anything like the slim petite Betty Rubble was insane. Hell, he had met Mrs. Rubble recently when she had come to visit the Warner Brother's lot and she still looked damn good considering her age. Luckily she seemed to have a good sense of humor because she wasn't a bit insulted that the rotund Ms. O'Donnell was portraying her.

Mr. Rubble also seemed to find the entire thing amusing. Yakko had found himself liking the man. Mr. Rubble was still the pleasant, slightly goofy man he had always been, blond hair shot with grey and his chuckle broken by a smoker's cough every so often.

"Chicago Hope is coming back for another season," Bugs said in an offhand manner, taking a sip of his lemonade.

Yakko sighed again but otherwise stayed silent, trying to ignore how uncomfortable his damp shirt was. He debated on taking it off; if he did, he might use it to gag Bugs if the rabbit didn't leave him alone.

"Murphy Brown is too."

Yakko didn't turn, just another sigh as he slumped, hoping that Bugs would be quiet. Every time the rabbit spoke to him he sighed and slumped slightly lower. If he slumped much more, he'd be on the floor.

"Hootie and the Blowfish's second album is selling well; you heard it yet? I know you like them."

Yakko exaggerated his sigh to the point of asthmatic wheezing and hoped the rabbit would get the hint.

Turning the page and resting his glass on his thigh again, Bugs said in an offhand manner, "Oh look; PetSmart's having a sale on some new flea and tick medicine."

Yakko put his fist to his mouth in an effort to hold back any forthcoming comments, none of which would be pleasant.

Besides, he wasn't speaking to Bugs.

He tried to ignore the silence that fell from the other group. Out of the corner of his eye he could see most of them grinning. The three adults were snickering very quietly, deciding to take a break from the lecturing to watch.

"Wonder it it'll work on lice too. I know a girl there, cute little brunette I can ask - "

"I need some air," Yakko snapped, breaking his vow of silence and pushing himself off the wall.

He stomped toward the front door and tried to ignore Bugs' smirk. The rabbit had gotten him good this time; let Bugs gloat while he could. Yakko vowed to get him at some point.

"Just remember a slingshot is accurate for about seventy feet," Bugs called to his turned back, earning louder snickers from the others.

"So's a doublebarrell shotgun," Yakko muttered, wondering if he would be able to Fritz one with any precision.

Still angry, he almost wrenched the door off its hinges as he went outside, telling himself to breathe and calm down. Bugs was trying to get under his skin; there was no sense in letting him know he was succeeding. The rabbit had enough of an ego already.

Yakko looked around, wondering where he could go now that he was outside. Going further into town wasn't an option; people would no doubt be trying to avoid him for fear of catching lice. Not to mention the town wasn't that big; he was pretty sure he had seen everything there was to see.

Walking back to camp wasn't an option, nor was going back in the station.

Frustrated and a bit bored, he slumped against the Mercedes and sniffed slightly. The stench of the ranger burning Max and Plucky's clothing was still in the air slightly. It was better than it was earlier when he had been almost running hell-bent towards the station; the initial smell had been strong enough to melt steel.

He debated on staying outside until everyone decided to head back to the campsite and get the 'vacation' going again. Hopefully they would decide to do that soon; at least at the campsite he could wander away for a few minutes and not be a target for Bugs and his itching powder.

And change his clothing; damp jeans were no more fun than a damp T-shirt.

He looked toward the busy street, watching the tourists wander around, snapping pictures, eating, looking at maps or calling to their overexcited children to wait for them. Every now and then a decent looking girl would walk past and he'd watch her for a few moments before remembering Bugs' pinpoint accuracy with his slingshot.

Hearing the door to the ranger station open, he turned, expecting it to be Bugs and already bracing for another 'it's for your own good' speech from the rabbit.

Instead, he was greeted by the sight of Foghorn coming through the doorway, whistling 'Camptown Races' and looking around.

Spying Yakko, the rooster jauntily came down the steps and headed toward his truck, parked next to the Mercedes while nodding his head toward Yakko.

"Those four…Hard to tell - I say - hard to tell who's the most stubborn sometimes," Foghorn said as he finally reached the truck. "Almost as bad as that rabbit."

"Stubbornness isn't his only problem," Yakko muttered sourly, flopping over to lean on the bed rail of the Chevy to talk to Foghorn easier. Catching his look Yakko added, "I'm not gonna scratch it."

Foghorn's insanity regarding his truck was legendary.

"Oh, rabbit's got good qualities obviously," Foghorn said in a dismissive manner as he lightly punched Yakko on the shoulder before leaning over to begin digging through the bed of the truck. "Wouldn't tolerate his bad qualities otherwise. Like listening…listening to reason isn't one of his better qualities sometimes - "

"Listening to anyone about anything, leaving me alone for five minutes, minding his own business," Yakko muttered grumpily.

"He's just worried," Foghorn said, glancing up at him. "Think about it boy; you're growing up. Rabbit thinks the world of you, taken you under his wing and all."

_Oh man, is Foghorn trying to guilt trip me now too? _

Yakko crossed his arms and huffed; Bugs did it enough. If Foghorn was going to start too, he was going to demand frequent flier miles for each trip. He could save them up and go somewhere interesting. Some place that didn't have overbearing nosey rabbits.

" - and he's afraid he won't have prepared you for something. You can sometimes question his methods, can't question his motivation though - "

"He's not my father Foghorn," Yakko sighed, unwilling to admit the rooster was right, at least out loud. Yes, Bugs cared - sometimes too much. And those twins were hot. "We've had this discussion before. He acts like - "

"Not saying that," Foghorn interrupted while standing up to lean on the bed next to him. "He's just worried, overprotective, like a big mother hen." Raising an eyebrow he added, "You seriously can't have expected he'd let you just dart off to some shindig with those girls - "

Feeling his annoyance relax slightly as he listened to Foghorn, Yakko said, "I know but…" Yakko shrugged before giving him a slight grin. "I could hope right?"

"Hope all you want, but you got more common sense than that." Chuckling, Foghorn added, "Least now he doesn't have to worry about you sneaking off; pretty sure no one in town's gonna want to get near you."

"Dirty rotten thing to do," Yakko muttered.

"Well…a little," Foghorn said before laughing.

Yakko felt his annoyance coming back. Everyone else thought it was funny; he still failed to see the humor in the situation.

"I ain't saying don't get revenge," Foghorn added with a wicked smirk. "I get a kick out of seeing the self proclaimed 'King of Pranks' get bested now and then. Do me a favor - I say - do me a favor and ease off the coffee intake though; couple times you got more wound up than a toddler on a Pop Tart high. You talk fast enough as it is; don't need the coffee speeding you up more."

Yakko nodded his head. He wouldn't - he enjoyed the beverage too much and it was helping him make it through the weekend.

"I trust you'll do it, don't worry about any of us taking it or busting you about it. You're old enough to pace yourself I think. Bugs will come around, eventually."

Yakko decided he might try after all. Maybe. At least Foghorn was making an attempt to treat him like an adult, even more so than before.

Definitely more than Bugs.

"Just…do me a favor? Leave the wildlife out of it huh? Rabbits already jumpy enough and the townspeople were about to lynch us before, coming in with the two in the truck." Shaking his head Foghorn muttered, "Ranger doesn't have enough aspirin to get us through this weekend."

Yakko nodded, feeling slightly better as he watched Foghorn begin to dig through the bed of the truck again before he turned to the toolbox.

"And don't worry 'bout that brother of yours," Foghorn said. "Think we've got them all straightened out," he added as he stood back up. "This is about their last warning…"

Yakko watched as Foghorn turned, holding a small hatchet. He raised an eyebrow at the rooster, not sure if he should be alarmed, especially with the phrase 'last warning'.

Probably not, Foghorn seemed the most at ease of everyone currently. Hell, he had only wanted two aspirin. Everyone else had ended up with four.

He took a step back though, just in case. Foghorn probably knew where to hide bodies.

"Might as well sharpen this while I'm here; ranger's got a sharpening stone out back. Just gonna take a couple of minutes, should be enough time for the boys to settle down, we can head back, go check out that lake, take them swimming. Should burn off some energy …"

Yakko heard Foghorn talking, but was only half listening to the rooster. He had glanced in the toolbox, looking at all the objects in there, some he could identify, some he couldn't.

But he spied a large tube of something - superglue? He squinted. Silicone.

" - and just come back in boy; sitting out here sulking and being childish - "

_Sulking?_

Yakko swallowed his indignant outrage. He hadn't been sulking…he had been…brooding. Much different. Not childish at all.

Still though, he wanted the others to view him as an adult, or as much of one as they had been already. If they thought he was out there pouting, they'd probably sit him down at the kiddie table and lecture him to behave and play nice.

That needed to be avoided. Much better to go back inside, chat with the rabbit and lull him into a sense of security. And plan revenge; retribution had no timeframe. Five minutes or five days; it was all the same to him.

Still though, if the time is right…

He glanced at the toolbox again, squinting to make out the wording on the tube of silicone.

_Acme Silicone. Why wait minutes ~ ours sets in seconds! Creates watertight seal. Invisible when dry. Acme ~ Our results are hair-raising. WARNING ~ keep out of reach of children and those currently not in right mind._

Yakko grinned; had to love toon products. Much like their newspapers and magazines, their headlines, wording or slogans weren't always the most PC but they got the point across.

A product with hair raising results and not to be used by those not in their right mind could be useful though. And Foghorn had so much junk in that toolbox he bet he wouldn't miss one tube of something. Yakko shrugged off the slight feeling of guilt; he wasn't exactly stealing it; he was just going to borrow some. He'd put it back in the toolbox as soon as he was done.

Besides, Foghorn had just about egged him on to get some sort of revenge.

He wasn't sure what that was yet, but he'd figure out something.

" -and all this revenge going on; getting to be a sticky mess - "

_Oh it's about to get real sticky._

"Right Foghorn," Yakko said.

Turning his head slightly to glance at the rooster, Yakko saw he was still watching him.

Calling upon every skill he possessed in distraction, Yakko jumped slightly and faked looking around Foghorn.

Turning, Foghorn asked, "Whatcha see boy?"

Reaching quickly into the toolbox, Yakko snatched the bright golden tube, palming it and shoving it into his jeans pocket.

"Oh nothing," Yakko said nonchalantly. "Saw a girl - "

"Shoulda guessed," Foghorn said. "Only lady I see has a body like a fourteen-year-old gymnast. No curves. Thought you'd at least have good tastes."

Yakko snickered, watching the rail thin woman disappear into a small eatery while fingering the tube of Silicone in his pocket, mind already working on what he could do with it.

Throwing his arm around Yakko's shoulder Foghorn said, "Cool it Ladies Man. You spend less time eyeing the girls and more time on everything else you wouldn't be in the mess you are now."

Yakko frowned slightly; he was supposed to be on vacation. That usually meant no stress - girl watching was an excellent stress reliever.

So was laughter though. Yakko was confident given enough time and a bit of creativity, he was about to get some much needed stress relief.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Come on Bugs…_

" - and no hard feelings, right Yakko?"

"Right Bugs, no hard feelings," Yakko said pleasantly, plastering a grin on his face while resisting the urge to gag. He had been so Saccharin sweet to the rabbit the last hour he was worried about making them both ill. "I know you're just looking out for me…Ehhhhh, because you're so watchful."

_Ugh. I'm gonna hurl._

"Knew you'd see reason," Bugs said happily.

Yakko leaned against a tree and watched the rabbit setting up his own personal oasis and hoped he was happy; he had helped Bugs lug some of that crap out of the car.

Upon their return to the campsite, Bugs had grabbed his bright yellow and red lounge chair, collapsible camp table, large umbrella, and a large pitcher of V-8. He had then busied himself with setting up his sanctuary, telling the boys not to cross into it if they had any hopes of reaching their teenaged years. Bugs had been wary around the younger boys and was still casting suspicious glances at them, vowing that they wouldn't get him again.

The four younger boys warily watched him when they saw him staring at them and would knot closer together. They may be fighting with each other, but all wars with each other were forgotten in the face of their common enemy. He had overheard Plucky muttering about how rabbits couldn't be trusted.

Buster had glared at him but still stayed close, talking about 'safety in numbers' and saying that allegiances of necessity were sometimes required in war.

Yakko wasn't sure why Foghorn thought they had been 'set straight', but from where he was standing, it looked like things were merely smoldering at the moment. Unfortunately, things that smoldered would eventually erupt into flame.

Wakko seemed to be trying to some degree, but a wrong word from Max had set him off again. Then Max had gone off, with Plucky jumping in to defend him, which got Buster going.

The four boys had been separated again, Max and Plucky on one log, Wakko and Buster on another. Mr. Bunny had said it might keep the mayhem to a minimum. Yakko thought it was just giving the two teams time to plot. Muzzling them, attaching them to leashes and tying them to separate trees might be wiser.

He shrugged; the four boys weren't his responsibility, not this weekend. He had been told again to relax, let things flow, everything will work itself out. Yakko hoped so; as annoying as they were, he liked most of Wakko's friends, and he had to admit that up until this point, they had all stuck together.

Yakko also knew that as people grew older, they could grow apart. He secretly hoped that the boys worked it out though; he'd hate to see his younger brother lose two solid friendships over something as silly as a prank war.

His prank war though, that was a different story. Bugs deserved it.

He glanced over at the rabbit, who was looking more relaxed now that the four boys were confined to their logs while the other three adults once again lectured them. He hadn't even been that upset about his missing coffee, assuming that one of the boys had hidden it.

Yakko licked his lips slightly as he tried to mentally will his blink to stop racing. Bugs really had to ease off the sugar in that stuff. It was going to give him cavities.

"This weekend hasn't been very relaxing," Bugs moaned as he started to sit in his chair. He stopped, glanced at the four miscreants, then kneeled to inspect it briefly.

Yakko grinned to himself. He hadn't gotten any revenge on Bugs yet, but his past pranks causing the rabbit to be suspicious and constantly on guard were good enough for now.

"Nothing…" Bugs muttered before standing, brushing off his gloves briefly. He slowly eased his body into the chair, sighing, "Those four; wouldn't put it past them to put gum in my seat or soap in my V-8 or rub poison ivy on the toilet paper or something equally childish."

_Those are good…have to remember them._

"Glad to see you put all this silliness behind us though," Bugs said, grabbing his sunglasses and waving them at Yakko briefly before snatching his glass, downing half the contents. "Those four aren't that mature, but you - I knew you'd see my side. I'm only trying to do what's best for you - "

"Oh I know that," Yakko said, holding his hands behind his back while rocking on his heels. When he wanted to portray an innocent and contrite manner he knew he could do it. In a voice as thick and sweet as buttercream he added empathically "I couldn't ask for a more dedicated DaDoo."

"True doc, true," Bugs agreed, settling back in his lounge chair, stretching his long legs out. Sitting up momentarily, he reached into his Hammerspace, pulling out a shiny reflector disk, which he held up to his neck as he settled back with a contented sigh. "So happy that I don't have to worry about pranks or any of the other malarkey from you."

_You keep believing that._

"Oh no," Yakko said agreeably. "I'm way too old for that - "

"Exactly," Bugs said, twisting his body slightly to get more comfortable and pulling the umbrella lower to shade his drink. Lifting the glass to his lips he added, "But now I need a break."

_A break? From what?_

Yakko bit back several comments and questions. Bugs had been close to worthless out there. He didn't though; while the rabbit was continuing to annoy him, he had grudgingly admitted again that he didn't know what he was doing and was content to sit back and let the rooster handle everything. He was going to do exactly what he should have been doing the entire time; relaxing.

"Nothing is going to disturb me," Bugs continued. "I'm going to sit right here - "

"Um, Bugs?" Yakko interrupted. "We're supposed to be going swimming, remember?"

"Oh that," Bugs waved him off with one hand. "I'll stay here for that; I'm a rabbit, not a duck. Besides, loud mouth is still bellowing to the little terrors over there. No one will be going anywhere for awhile. My furry tail is glued to this spot."

_What a tantalizing idea._

Yakko smirked while fingering the tube of silicone in his pocket again and wondering if there was some way to glue Bugs to his chair. That would be a laugh.

"You go off though and play with the kids," Bugs said, dismissing him and yawning.

_Play with the kids?_

Yakko bit back an indignant snort. No, Bugs probably hadn't meant it the way it came out, but still…

"Darn," Bugs said, causing Yakko to look back at him. "Already empty - "

"Don't worry about it Bugs," Yakko said. "If you're glued to that spot; I'll fill it."

If he filled it he wouldn't be tempted to wait until Bugs unfolded himself from the chair then squeeze silicone all over the seat. Besides, he was trying to stay on Bugs' good side and keep suspicion off himself. Right now Bugs thought he was his dedicated little servant.

"Thanks doc."

Yakko took the proffered glass from Bugs and turned to the small plastic table. Behind him he saw the adults starting to walk off, grabbing various gear while the younger boys muttered 'yeah, OK'. The lecture was over apparently.

He turned slightly, watching his brother and Buster glare at Max and Plucky for a few moments before getting up and walking a few feet away towards the tent, still in sight but definitely not in the mood to be chums. Meanwhile, Plucky and Max went into a tight huddle on their log, talking to each other and shooting Wakko and Buster dark looks.

Yakko sighed; so much for them making up anytime soon.

"Any time Yakko; I'm getting hot over here. I'm gonna have to take off my gloves and wring them out I'm sweating so much."

_Wonder if that silicone would glue his mouth shut_, Yakko thought sourly.

"Coming your highness," Yakko muttered, turning to the table and grasping the pitcher.

Then he paused, thinking, the corners of his lips turning upwards in a Grinchy smile.

_Watertight seal._

_Hair raising results…or Hare raising._

He wouldn't glue Bugs' mouth shut; he didn't want to hurt the rabbit.

Well, not seriously.

The idea of Bugs with a glass stuck to his hand was pleasant though. He briefly shook his head, wondering if the over sweetened coffee was making him crazy.

Still, the image was amusing. And couldn't everyone use a laugh? The boys looked like they were about to murder each other, and whichever one survived that was likely to get murdered by one of the adults.

He tried to push the mental vision aside but was unable to. He could put it right on the bottom of the glass; it would get stuck to his glove, maybe just the pinky.

Yakko slowly glanced over his shoulder as he refilled the glass; Bugs was still in his chair, eyes closed behind the dark lenses. No one was paying attention to him.

Nodding and chortling to himself, Yakko silently put the pitcher back down before removing the silicone, quickly unscrewing the cap. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down and wishing he hadn't stolen that last cup of coffee, he squeezed the tube, watching as the clear goo glurped out onto the bottom of the glass.

Unsure of how much he was supposed to use, he gave another few squeezes, deciding that it couldn't hurt and he wasn't being wasteful - he was just being dedicated to his mission.

Almost swallowing his tongue to choke back his laughs, Yakko held the glass out to Bugs.

"Here ya go Bugs, a tall fresh glass."

"Thanks doc."

Bugs pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head as he leaned up in his bright chair. Yakko firmly pushed the glass into his hands, watching as the rabbit's sunglasses slipped off the top of his head and fell silently to the ground. He was also slightly disappointed to see that the thick gel was only on one portion of the glass, no where near Bugs' hand. The label claimed it was quick drying; it would be solid by the time Bugs put it down.

Damn. Oh well.

Yakko shrugged to himself; not every prank could be a winner. He could think of something else. At most he could hope that the solid gel might make the glass unbalanced and lopsided enough that Bugs spilled it on himself. Then he'd have to go swimming to wash it off.

Reaching up to feel his head, Bugs asked, "OK, now where are my sunglasses?" Turning quickly to glare at the four boys he added loudly, "OK you little hellions, which one of you took my glasses now?"

"They're on the ground beside you Bugs," Yakko sighed, disappointed his prank wasn't going as planned. Starting to walk off he added, "I'm going to go get some water from the lake."

"Sure Yak, sure," Bugs said, leaning over the side of his chair to grab his fallen sunglasses while balancing the glass on the top of his collapsible table.

Yakko blinked as he watched Bugs fumble to reach for the sunglasses for a few moments.

Then he remembered.

_Quick drying. Watertight seal._

_Oh shit._

He mentally screamed at Bugs to pick it up.

He didn't.

If it dried…

Five seconds passed. Then ten.

Yakko hastily retreated to the relative safety of the center of the campsite while cursing himself. He was always telling Wakko to think ahead and have some sort of back up plan…or damn good alibi.

And he didn't follow his own advice. He was the last one near Bugs' glass. And he had absolutely no alibi. He debated on confessing to Bugs quickly, admit what he had done…then decided against that.

Getting out of the immediate area would be prudent. He glanced over his shoulder and watched with horrified fascination as Bugs' hand grasped his glasses and put them back on the top of his head.

Then he leaned back in his chair, sunglasses back over his eyes, legs crossed.

Bugs' hand went back towards his drink…

Yakko sprinted the last few feet to be closer to Foghorn, the only one who had a hope in hell of surviving the rabbit's fury. He protected Wakko. Yakko figured he was a Warner too; surely Foghorn would protect him as well.

Then he remembered that Foghorn had abandoned him to Smokey's tender embrace and cringed. Bugs was going to make it his personal mission to eradicate him from the Earth when he figured out what happened.

Running wasn't an option any longer. Besides, he wanted to see what happened; it was like a train wreck. Sure, it was bound to be terrible and a blinky mess, but it was almost impossible to look away -

He hadn't expected this, he really hadn't.

Yakko, partially petrified but still anxiously watching, winced as Bugs, still reclined in his chair, wretched his arm upwards to bring the glass of juice to his lips.

Then…

Bugs let out a high pitched wail of dismay, causing everyone in the camp to stop dead in their tracks and fall silent as the table top, now solidly adhered to the bottom of the cup, came with it, the legs collapsing in on themselves.

The pitcher, along for the ride, dislodged its contents into Bugs' face, coating his fur in sticky vegetable juice before dropping to the ground, knocking over the umbrella in the process.

Stunned, the unbalanced Bugs thudded into the back of the chair. That caused the chair to collapse inwards with a large groan and clack before flopping backwards, folding up on Bugs. Only his hand, still gripping the glass with table attached, was in view. With one ominous and fatal screech, the chair and its prisoner went silent and stopped all movement.

No one moved; full grown adult and child alike, all movement ceased in the camp. Yakko, ears raised and now gripping Foghorn's arm in crippling terror, listened intently. Nothing, not a sound. The birds had fallen silent, like even they were anticipating the coming storm and wanted to draw no undue attention to themselves.

_That's it. He's dead. Holy Hell I've killed Bugs Bunny. I've pranked him to death - _

With a wild roar, the chair shot upwards before rotating like an off balanced gyroscope.

Yakko, throat dry and head cocked in amazement, gripped so hard on Foghorn's arm he was positive that a few feathers dislodged in his hands. Luckily, the rooster seemed as stunned as everyone else because he hadn't so much as blinked during the entire show.

Landing with a heavy thud, the chair sprang open and Bugs leapt out, sunglasses flying while one hand clawed the air. The other frantically waved the glass and table combination around.

Arching his back like someone in the final stages of an exorcism, Bugs tumbled to the ground, one foot landing in the pitcher while the other went through the plastic slats of his chair. Tripping and landing face first on the ground he rolled again before righting himself and sitting on his rear end, one ear bent like a broken antenna. Covered in red goo, green grass, a few dead pine needles and dirt, Bugs stared at his table attached to his glass, looking like a small child who had dropped his ice cream in the sand.

Yakko heard one tiny snicker, a snort really and turned, thinking it was one of the younger boys. They had no sense of self preservation -

It was Jeeves.

He watched as the butler held a hand to his mouth, causing the snicker to come out with a funny snorting sound. Giving up, the man instead threw back his head and laughed uproariously, holding his sides as he did so.

Foghorn followed about three seconds later, wrenching his arm from Yakko's grasp so he could slap his own knee in merriment.

Yakko, having gone from terrified to amused, leaned on the rooster for support, laughing so hard he was giving himself abdominal pain. Mr. Bunny, who had been drinking a cup of coffee right as the show started, fell backwards off his log, splashing his leg with the drink but only managing one weak 'ow' before going back to laughing, clutching his sides and sending his glasses flying into the grass behind him. He weakly pawed at them before giving up and just laughing harder.

Even the boys, who had been sullen and grumpy before, were now laughing, Wakko and Buster laughing so hard tears were coming out of their eyes. Max and Plucky had their arms thrown over each other's shoulders as they hooted and howled with pleasure.

The entire camp looked like it had been hit with a dose of laughing gas. Yakko wiped his eyes, quite pleased. He'd enjoy it while he could, because any minute Bugs was going to jump up and throttle him with the remains of the table -

"Who did it?"

Yakko felt both his eyebrows raise in surprise. Surely Bugs couldn't be that clueless -

"Who did it?" The rabbit hissed again in a venomous tone.

Standing, he stalked towards Wakko and Buster, managing to shake the pitcher off his foot as he did so and sending it flying. Still laughing but looking slightly worried, both boys managed to tumble off their log and go stagger over to Mr. Bunny for protection.

Max and Plucky, not to be left by themselves, were busy supporting each other while sprinting in Jeeves' direction.

Yakko decided that his safest course of action was to not make any sudden moves; it might draw Bugs' attention. He wondered how hard he hit his head when the chair collapsed on him; he had assumed Bugs would instantly accuse him.

The poor rabbit must really think the boys were out to drive him crazy.

"Calm down - I say - calm down rabbit," Foghorn choked out, going forward and putting one massive hand on Bugs' chest to slow his advance down.

It didn't help much; Bugs was trying to duck around him.

"Look at it this way Bugs," Foghorn said. "You'll never be without a glass; attached right to the table - "

"This isn't funny!" Bugs bellowed, shaking the table at him before staring at it mournfully.

Yakko, moving quickly but silently, stumbled towards the tree line, deciding that he would be wise to back away from imminent danger. Foghorn wasn't having much luck convincing Bugs to not strangle all four boys.

"You're always protecting them!" Bugs raged, waving his free hand and the table at Foghorn. "Look what they did - "

Ducking the swinging table, Foghorn said, "Couldn't have done it; nowhere near you - "

"You!" Bugs pointed his table directly at Foghorn. "You put them up to this!"

"You're nuttier than an outhouse rat," Foghorn scoffed. "I never - "

"Or one of you!" Turning, Bugs waved at Mr. Bunny and Jeeves, who burst into another round of laughter at the accusation. "You're all in on it! You think this is funny - "

"Uproariously," Jeeves agreed pleasantly. Turning to look at Max and Plucky's grinning faces, he asked firmly, "You two; dare I ask if you had aught to do with this?"

When both boys vigorously shook their heads, Mr. Bunny turned and managed to ask the same question of the two boys hiding behind him, albeit with more chuckling. He received the same response.

"I'll question them," Bugs said in an authoritative tone. "You're too soft on them - "

Buster, holding on to his father's belt said loudly, "Well we didn't do it."

"Don't look at us," Max said loudly, nodding his head to indicate Plucky in his statement. "I don't know."

"'I don't know' and 'we didn't do it' seem to be busy fellows," Foghorn said. "We talked to you about this already - "

"But we really didn't!" Wakko insisted before nodding and laughing again. "But it was really funny! When you went backward you sort of looked like one of those tumblers I saw at the circus and - "

"Sit!" Bugs bellowed, pointing to the logs. When no one moved he yelled, "Now!"

There were a few strangled gasps as the four boys scrambled for their prior seats on their logs. Even Mr. Bunny and Jeeves sat on the logs, though from shock at Bugs' demand or to try to protect the children Yakko wasn't sure. He decided he was safe where he was at though; if Bugs finally lost his mind he had a head start to find shelter from his rampage.

Foghorn merely raised an eyebrow, smirked at Bugs, and crossed his arms saying, "Hope you don't - I say - hope you don't plan on scolding me too rabbit. I'm about forty years past that. Love to be able to take credit for this though; couldn't have done it better myself."

Yakko smirked to himself, feeling a sense of pride in a job well done. He cursed himself for not taking pictures of the event but felt he could adequately describe the events to Dot. She'd love this; he desperately wished his baby sister had come along now, if only so she could witness this for herself.

"You look like one of them wacky Picasso paintings," Foghorn said, using both hands to wipe at his eyes. Reaching over and plucking a few leaves off Bugs he added joyfully, "Colorful that is."

Bugs eyed Foghorn coolly before muttering 'wise ass' and stepping around him, making his way toward his amused spectators. Foghorn, arms still crossed, leaned on a tree to watch, smirking.

Yakko watched as Bugs stalked back and forth in front of his audience, mouth working like he was deciding on the correct words to plead his case and scold them. Or figuring out which child to bite first, Yakko wasn't positive.

He wished Bugs would unhand the glass and table combination though; one of the legs was loose and flopping back and forth like it was waving, bring on fresh waves of hilarity. He was afraid to laugh too much though; he might draw the rabbit's attention to himself and Bugs seemed to have forgotten him for the moment.

"You…You four…I can't…What did I do huh?" Bugs demanded as he eyed the four of them with the same look of annoyance as a bear that had been disturbed in mid-winter. "I've never been mean to you maroons! I help you out, and you do this?"

He waved the table at them again, causing Max to snort before burying his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Plucky held a hand up to his bill, looking like he was trying to hold it shut.

Buster and Wakko didn't hide their hilarity though and Bugs turned on them.

"This was your idea wasn't it Buster? Wasn't it? Huh? You think you can take me on in a prank war? And you just had to encourage your little army of degenerates to - "

"I didn't do anything!"

In a pleading tone Wakko said, "Really, none of us were near - "

"Be quiet!"

"But you just asked - "

Buster reached over and smacked Wakko, sending his hat to the ground but silencing him.

Bugs marched back and forth, railing and yelling like a madman and seemingly oblivious to the fact that no one was paying attention to him. The four boys squirmed and mostly choked back their laughter. Mr. Bunny was chuckling and writing something down in his book. Jeeves, arms around Max and Plucky's shoulders, was sitting with the air of one greatly amused by the antics going on around him, though was warily watching the rabbit as if afraid he would attack at any time.

" - and don't think I don't know if was you docs," Bugs said with a bit of finality in his voice. Abruptly turning from them and beginning to march away, he called, "You can protest and deny, but when I find out which one of you it was, I'll have your hides."

Yakko was delighted to note that Bugs was still holding his glass and table.

"I dare say you should grab a bar of soap and scrub now Mister Bugs," Jeeves called after him. "Or I fear that you might need to make a trip to PetSmart yourself on the way home. I am quite sure every insect in the woods will be attracted to rabbit doused in tomato-based sauce."

Bugs paused and stiffened his spine, tightening his grip on the glass. Then, with all the dignity he could muster be slowly began marching away again, heading towards the vehicles.

Yakko grinned and decided to head to The Swamp to grab his own swimsuit while hearing the adults, trying to be firm in the face of such misbehavior, told the four younger boys that this really was their last warning; there was to be no more pranks. Period. Punishment would be swift and sure if they heard so much as a whoopee cushion go off in the next twenty-four hours.

Yakko looked at the four boys, almost feeling guilty that they were getting chewed out because of him. Almost - he didn't miss the glances and glares that passed between all of them. Another light lecture telling them to ease off each other wouldn't hurt.

He shrugged it off, his previous good mood returning. Revenge, when prepared correctly, was a satisfyingly filling dish, rather like comfort food.

If Bugs stayed on his good side, he wouldn't have to force feed the rabbit a second helping. He wished he could tell Foghorn how well this stuff worked - the label promised 'hair-raising' results and it certainly delivered.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Absolutely not."

"Monty! Come on! The water's great!"

Sighing, Montana shook his head down at his friend, happily paddling around below him. Deciding he was just as happy on the rock jutting offshore, Montana adjusted himself so he could watch Plucky but was in no danger of falling himself.

"I am not swimming," Montana said firmly. Peering down to the lake from the rock he had taken refuge on and squinting his eyes he added, "Who the hell knows what lives in its murky depth?"

"Lighten up Monty," Plucky yelled, splashing water up at him. "It's not murky at all really! And besides, this trip is supposed to be fun and swimming - "

"Oh, and you're having fun I presume?" Montana asked dryly. "Which part was fun so far? Sleeping on the ground, digging a hole - twice - or marinating for an hour? Perhaps the fact that we lost our clothing?"

Montana was still pissed about that. He lost his favorite jacket. He was thankful that he had left the shirt Mary gave him at home; he had feared it getting ruined if he brought it, and look what happened? Everything he had been wearing had to be incinerated. Happily, Jeeves had grabbed clothing for both him and Plucky to wear after getting de-skunked; the trip into town had been humiliating. If Jeeves hadn't grabbed them a change of clothing the trip out of town would have been intolerable.

"Well, it hasn't been all bad," Plucky muttered, climbing out of the water to stand beside him. "I mean, if nothing else we got to hang out."

True. That had been surprisingly fun. He and Plucky hadn't really done anything besides play video games lately at the house. Plucky was there so often now Montana was surprised his ass hadn't taken root to the couch.

It was probably better than spending time at his own house though. If Plucky stayed there, he had to deal with the constant demanding of his parents to try harder to get parts, study more complicated scripts, get better publicity or become friends with the right person, people who were 'going places'.

Montana encouraged Plucky to spend as much time at his house as he wanted to. He enjoyed the company and over there no one told Plucky to stop playing his video games or reading about computers and electronics and all the other things the duck really had an interest in. Hell, Jeeves encouraged Plucky to expand on any interests he had; Montana too.

Jeeves was very 'seize the day' about life, always saying to try anything that came along, be it a new food or a new experience.

Rather like this dreadful camping trip. They had the opportunity to go camping, they should use it.

If Wakko and Buster hadn't been such assholes it might have been better, but having a weekend of just dealing with Plucky hadn't been too bad so far. At least the duck was there with him; how this entire time would have been without Plucky was unthinkable.

He listened to Plucky beg him some more and thought maybe it wouldn't be too bad to find out; the duck was beginning to annoy him.

" - and besides, what could happen?"

Montana raised one eyebrow at Plucky while reclining back on his rock. Every time he thought things couldn't get worse, somehow they did. He was afraid to think of something worse than getting sprayed by the skunk; with his luck Nessie's cousin lived in this lake and would eat his ass alive if he went in.

No way was he putting a toe in the lake. He swam in crystal clear pools where he could see exactly what was in the water before he went in. He planned on staying on the rock, keeping his former friends in sight so they couldn't do anything else to him while plotting his own revenge.

His skin still had a light red tinge to it from the tomato soup. He glanced down at himself; he had consented - mostly because Jeeves bullied him - into putting his dark blue swimsuit on. He presumed Jeeves had thrown it in with his clothing because he hadn't remembered packing it.

Damn the man.

Still though, Montana was somewhat grateful to him. His idea of using some vinegar to wipe his skin helped get the worst of the red staining out, but there was still a bit of color there.

Thankfully the smell was gone. Montana almost blanched at thinking about the odor; it had been foul enough to kill a bear at a thousand meters.

Riding in the back of a truck like a couple of hitchhikers had been bad enough when they both reeked of the skunk's wrath - he prayed that no one had gotten a picture of them. To top off the indignity, when everyone - excluding himself of course - had decided to go to the far side of the lake, the 'children' had to ride in the back of Foghorn's truck. It had been decided - again without asking him - that they would only take the one vehicle.

Wakko and Buster; those two fools had been delighted for the opportunity to ride in the back of the pickup. Yakko seemed like he rode back there just so no one would try to throw anyone else out of the bed. Meanwhile, all the adults rode up front, no doubt plotting and scheming against him.

He reclined back and glared over at Wakko and Buster, splashing around the lake with Foghorn, Yakko, and Mr. Bunny. To top off everything else, those two idiots were now pranking Bugs, putting the rabbit in a surly mood.

How stupid could they be? The war was between them; going after the adults would only get them all in trouble.

Morons.

Still though, it was amusing as all hell. Happily those two idiots were the ones that laughed the most which was fine with Montana; let them be the epicenter of attention for awhile.

So far they had been lucky. Bugs seemed to have mostly cooled down, though he was still slightly jumpy. Montana cut his eyes over to the rabbit. Before anyone had been allowed in the lake, Bugs had made everyone stay on shore while he went in to rinse off.

Then when he was finished he retreated to shore where he had sat ever since, looking jumpy and glaring at everyone. Hell, the only one he had let near him was Yakko, even going so far as to have the teenager taste all his food or sit in a chair first before Bugs would use it. If anyone else approached him, he made them hold their hands in the air like a POW while stating their reason for wishing to speak to him.

Of course Foghorn didn't listen. He waited until Bugs toweled off and had Yakko test his chair. As soon as Bugs had leaned back and closed his eyes, the giant rooster had cannonball into the lake, drenching Bugs again.

Montana hadn't known Bugs knew a few of the words he used. It had been funny to see Yakko smack him upside the head while chastising him about his language.

That had ultimately gotten Yakko in the river though. After jokingly reprimanding him about his language, the teenager had been chased around the shore for awhile by Bugs. At first Yakko had refused to go in the lake himself, citing something about it being too 'kiddie', but being pursued by the bad tempered bunny had changed his mind.

Bugs had moved his chair further from shore and was sitting in it now, watching everyone with a wary look.

Montana moved his gaze from Bugs back to the lake as Jeeves swam up to the group, throwing an inflatable ball at Yakko.

He looked happy enough, playing some game that no doubt only they understood. Montana shrugged; he and Plucky hadn't been invited to play - not that they would have - so he had mostly ignored them. Unfortunately they had set up near a large rope that had been tied to a tree and were swinging from that.

Secretly, Montana thought it might be fun; a bit rustic perhaps, but nothing about this trip had been civilized so far. He refused to acknowledge that or even go near it. To do so might send the message that he was having something other than a miserable time.

Montana watched as Plucky, obviously growing bored, climbed out of the water and made his way toward him. Climbing up the rock, Plucky began to nag him in a beseeching tone and Montana tried to tune him out. He couldn't blame the duck in a way; since the other two were being jerks, Plucky was no doubt beyond bored and expecting him to entertain him.

Having friends was hard sometimes. Some were snitches, some were backstabbers, some wanted to hang out and pester him for no good reason.

He desperately wished Plucky could play the damn video game now; that would keep him occupied.

Montana cringed away from the droplets of water falling from Plucky's feathers as he tried again to get him to frolic in the water.

"This will be fun! Come on, it's swimming!"

"In a bloody lake!" Montana snapped before shuddering. "I refuse to think about how filthy it is."

"It's not that bad," Plucky disagreed, shaking some water off his feathers. "Pretty clean; just a bit cold."

Watching Plucky use his hands to slick some water off his face, Montana drawled, "Brilliant Plucky. If you are cold with feathers, imagine how frozen I'm going to be. In case it escaped your notice, I'm the only one here without feathers or fur."

"Not the only one Master Montana."

Montana sighed as he heard the voice and saw the shadow fall over himself and Plucky. Did he have to sneak up on them? The man positively loomed over him. Would it be too much to ask that he not creep up on them like a thief in the night and not to block out the sun?

"You've got more body mass Jeeves," Montana said, turning to eye him. "I've heard body fat helps keep people warm."

Jeeves didn't exactly have a lot of fat; a slight pudge around his middle was about the most Montana could honestly say. Jeeves exercised too damn much to get more than that. He swam daily laps around the pool; whenever Montana was in the mood to practice he would frequently fence with him.

Montana smirked though; telling Jeeves he was letting his body go to seed would annoy the man and get him to leave him alone hopefully.

He sighed when Jeeves raised an eyebrow. He wasn't going to leave him alone; chances were it meant he was going to try to have him get 'more involved'.

Or make it a character building exercise.

"I confess that perhaps I have gotten soft around the middle compared to my younger days," Jeeves answered, touching his abdomen. "However, I believe I can still outrun and outswim you."

_I'm not biting Jeeves._

"No doubt; fat floats," Montana said in an agreeable tone, leaning back to rest on his elbows and ignoring the man.

"A race!" Plucky yelped excitedly. Grabbing Montana's arm he almost shrieked, "Yeah! Come on Monty, let's race!"

"No," Montana said firmly. Then, seeing his friend's face and feeling a bit magnanimous, he added, "Fine, we can race on land."

He smirked. He had been winning on land lately, against Plucky anyway. His growth spurt no doubt helped; his legs were longer than the ducks now. Wakko and Buster could still beat him in a full out run, but at least he wasn't dead last anymore.

Scowling, Plucky muttered, "Never mind, you always win."

"Cheer up," Montana said. "I'd beat you in water too - "

"No way!" Plucky argued. "I bet I - "

"Give it a rest Plucky," Montana laughed. "Besides, I can't race you in the water if I refuse to get in so just be happy I'm not going to humiliate you - "

"You'd be the only one humiliated since I know I'm faster than you in water - "

"Let us find out shall we?"

Montana heard Jeeves just as he felt himself being lifted into the air and yelped. Startled and furious, he tried to kick at Jeeves but the man simply tightened his hold on him and lifted him higher. He heard Plucky laughing and encouraging Jeeves to pick him up higher. He could vaguely hear Wakko and Buster and Foghorn and everyone else laughing and splashing around and kicked harder.

"Put me down Jeeves! Now! I said I don't - "

"Not bad for a fat man, true?" Jeeves asked, holding him over his head and lifting him up once like he was bench pressing him.

Montana kicked at him again, demanding, "Look damn it, I said I am not going! Bad enough I am even out here with you - "

"Looks a bit - I say - looks a bit runty!" Foghorn called out across the lake, reaching over with one hand to dunk Wakko under the water. "Better toss that one back!"

"He is indeed runty Mister Foghorn," Jeeves called, barely sounding winded as he wrestled with Montana. "But I must say he offered a bit of sport; there is quite a bit of fight in him."

"I'll show you fight!" Montana yelled as he kicked at Jeeves again. "I swear I'll - "

"Do me next Jeeves!" Plucky begged.

Montana looked at him like he was deranged before he looked down; Jeeves was dangling him over the water like a tea bag. He didn't see this ending well; no doubt the butler was going to drop him in and think it would be utterly hilarious and this would be 'fun'. Montana decided to hope that the water was deep enough that when that happened he didn't hit his head and drown.

"A bit surprised that someone so overweight and out of shape could lift you Master Montana?" Jeeves asked in a teasing manner.

"Yeah fine!" Montana said in a panicky voice, eyeing the water before twisting his head to look upside down at Jeeves. "You're a powerhouse just put me down!"

"Your friends want to play," Jeeves answered, talking louder over Plucky. The duck was practically begging for Jeeves to toss Montana in; he was clamoring for Jeeves to pick him up and throw him in next.

Montana glared at him; Plucky was supposed to be on his side.

"Shut up Plu - "

"And everyone can race, even you Master Montana," Jeeves said. "So…in you go!"

Montana felt Jeeves toss him out, his hands letting go as he sailed over the water for a moment. He tried to twist around, hoping that if he was being dropped to his icy dark death, he could drag the butler in with him.

No such luck, he was too far out. He tried to claw at the air, remembering all the lessons Yosemite had taught him about momentarily levitating in the air before looking down. A toon could only do it for a short time. It was a complicated process, hovering in air and talented or not, not all toons could do it.

Montana had only just mastered it recently, and he could only do it for a few seconds. Whenever he had to take a fall on set the studio not only had Yosemite or Bugs or someone on hand to help him, they always made him wear a safety harness, just in case. He was frequently rubbed raw under his arms and on his thighs from the stupid thing.

He managed to extend his arms, quite pleased he hovered for about eight seconds before he looked down at the water and felt himself falling.

Furious with Jeeves for bullying him into the water, Montana held his breath and twisted his body around, attempting to pull at least a decent dive out of it.

He failed, crashing into the water in a fabulous belly-flop. Slamming into the water, he winced, briefly rubbing his stomach to get the sting out and wishing he had just curled up and done a cannonball instead. Maybe he would have done a big enough one that would have caused a wave to drown Jeeves.

Hesitantly, he opened his eyes, surprised to notice he could actually see a little bit. It wasn't crystal clear like the pool at home, but it wasn't as filthy as he had first feared.

It was chilly though. If he said anything he would no doubt be encouraged to swim to get warm, even though he had been perfectly warm sitting on his rock.

Snorting in annoyance, he watched bubbles shoot out of his nose and rise to the surface before beginning to swim upwards, pissed that Jeeves had thrown him in but happy the man had taught him how to swim.

Breaking the surface, he ran a hand over his head, pushing his hair back. He hadn't cut it since before filming wrapped up for the last show and the long strands were dangling in his eyes. He had no plans to cut it, at least anytime soon; Mary said she liked the longer hair. At first he had not been nuts about it, finding it more of a pain than a shorter cut but she said it made him look 'bad assed'. Anything that made Mary happy was good enough for him.

Besides, it seemed to annoy Jeeves. The butler had told him he looked like a wild haired cave man but seemed to have given up harping on it for the moment. Montana still had a fear Jeeves might try to cut it in the middle of the night while he slept.

Clearing his eyes and looking around, he quickly went back underwater and stroked off a bit; Plucky was being tossed in by Jeeves. The idiot no doubt thought it was fun; Jeeves actually tossed them a pretty good distance.

Stroking back to the surface, he waited a few moments before Plucky bobbed up in front of him.

"Looks like you're in," Plucky said smugly. "Wanna race now?"

"Shut up Plucky."

Jeeves did a dive into the water, slicing into it like a sharp knife and surfacing next to them.

"Come along children," Jeeves ordered as he treaded water next to them. "A friendly competition might be just the thing to smooth over rough waters."

_Or make things worse._

Montana could already hear Buster and Wakko goading them, yelling about how they could beat them with their arms tied behind their backs. He decided he would like to try that race; not only would he out swim them, they would hopefully sink to the bottom like stones.

He wasn't even sure what the hell they were trying to race them for; for all his teasing of Plucky, he knew the duck was a good swimmer. Montana knew he could swim extremely well. Buster was decent but no Johnny Weissmuller. He was actually surprised Wakko was keeping his head above water; the mime wasn't the best swimmer he had ever seen.

"Come on you pungent pair of dweebs," Buster laughed, tossing the ball at them.

Montana gritted his teeth and dodged the ball, not wishing to get involved with the game or with Buster. The rabbit was delusional if he thought Montana was going to let bygones be bygones and participate in any activity with him and the Mime.

Especially after calling him 'pungent'. He had scrubbed himself with tomato soup and vinegar for over an hour; he knew he didn't smell any longer. The only thing he smelled like was a produce aisle.

Telling Buster to go screw himself with a beach ball would no doubt bring the wrath of every adult around down on his head though. Better to not say anything.

"I have no intention of racing or engaging in any other activity with you," Montana said crisply while ignoring Plucky and Jeeves behind him. "Or him," he added, wanting to clarify that Wakko was to be included in that statement. "I - "

"Of course he wishes to participate," Jeeves called from behind him, where he and Plucky were splashing each other.

"Stop speaking for me Jeeves!" Montana snapped. "Why would I want to - "

"Consider it character building."

_And that puts an end to just about any argument._

Montana balled his fists, almost faltering and going under the water. Why the hell wouldn't Jeeves leave him alone? He'd already participated in this sham of a trip enough; if he wanted to sun himself on the rock like a lizard was that any business of his? At least the others were there somewhat willingly and seemed to be enjoying all this bonding; he neither wanted it nor needed it.

"He doesn't want to do it because he really can't swim," Buster whispered loudly to his father and Wakko.

Montana turned on him.

"I can swim as you well know," he snapped. "I just don't see any purpose in wearing myself out by swimming in the lake." With a slight sneer and shrugging as if he was re-shouldering a great weight he added, "Lots of snakes and rats around; I wish to conserve my energy in case I have to defend myself against unwarranted attacks."

Sighing, Foghorn said, "Look, boy, you need a purpose? How 'bout this?" He pointed out towards the middle of the lake.

Montana turned to look. Near the middle of the lake were eight large fifty-five gallon drums, roped together and floating. On top of them was a wooden raft.

"We split into two teams - younguns…and not so younguns," the rooster said, nodding towards Mr. Bunny. "First one from the shore to the float, then back to the shore from either team - that team doesn't have to do dishes."

_Oh merciful Heavens. Not only character building but a lesson in 'teamwork'._

Freshwater or not he desperately wished for a large shark to swim up and save him from the worst of Foghorn's good mood.

"Looks far," Wakko murmured to Buster.

Montana didn't answer him since he was trying to ignore the fact that Wakko even existed but secretly he had to agree. It had to be a good fifty yards out. Montana figured that was another reason for this idiotic contest; have the kids swim out there and back, wear them out, and they would be too tired to cause any more trouble.

The adults shouldn't count on that. Montana was already eyeing the rope swing; if he got a chance he would swing on it. If not, he intended to use it to hang Wakko and Buster, perhaps right over the lake where they could dangle like bait for whatever larger fish lived in it.

"I say we go for it," Buster said, pushing on Wakko and sending him briefly underwater. "I don't want to do dishes."

_I have no intention of doing them._

"Unless you're scared Monty?"

"You wish Bunny," Montana muttered before looking out towards the raft, shading his eyes to get a better look. "You're on."

While Buster and Wakko continued to talk, Montana mentally wondered if there was some way to cheat to get out there and back first. True, if he won he would actually be helping out Wakko and Buster but he figured the help he would be giving himself and Plucky would be worth it.

He wasn't opposed to cheating but could not see a way to get out there and back first. He sighed; he would have to rely on Plucky. He turned to look at his friend, who was backstroking rapidly around the group and seeming a bit too cocky.

Still, Plucky was fast. Montana cheered up a bit; perhaps Plucky could win. If not, he could blame the duck if he had to touch a bottle of Dawn for the first time in his life. Hell, he might even be able to guilt trip the duck if they lost and make him do the dishes for him.

Besides, how fast could Foghorn and Mr. Bunny be? A giant rooster and a rabbit - they were both no doubt water-logged already. And there were four 'younguns' - they had better odds of beating them.

"Come on Bugs!"

"I'm not getting in," Bugs said haughtily from the shore, where he was sipping his drink.

"I'll be the referee," Yakko announced, already stroking off towards the shore.

"We need a fourth member for our squad," Jeeves pointed out. "As you can see, our team is short one member."

_Shit._

Montana mentally winced; how the hell had he forgotten about the butler? And Jeeves was quick too. He saw himself getting dishpan hands for the first time in his life if Jeeves was going to race. Plus Yakko - he had no idea if the teenager was fast or not.

Yakko looked flattered, nodding and stating he was going to ask Bugs to be the referee. Montana rolled his eyes; Wakko and Buster had already pissed off the rabbit by ruining his stupid table. Even if one of them came in before one of the adults, the rabbit would no doubt still say they lost.

Bugs hesitantly came to shore, mostly because he was being yanked on by Yakko. After determining that it didn't appear to be any sort of gag and that Yakko was taking the place of the fourth swimmer, the rabbit happily and quickly Fritzed a whistle and began issuing orders for the starting point. Foghorn said it didn't matter what Bugs did - he was supposed to do dishes anyway; he did agree before Foghorn winched him out of the river earlier.

Montana let himself be jostled around, happy only because he was able to get a well aimed shot with his elbow into Wakko's ribs before gliding back. He snickered at hearing Wakko's quiet yelp before he kicked, hitting Plucky.

The duck threw a murderous look at Wakko.

"Calm down Plucky," Montana whispered. "If we get a chance we can drown the both of them." Not sure what else to say to keep Plucky's head cool he added, "Come on, you'll kick their ass; neither of those two wankers will be able to reach the raft."

With a firm nod, Plucky quickly refocused his attention on Bugs.

Montana watched the rabbit, one hand raised in the air and whistle between his lips and shook his head. They were really taking this too seriously.

So was Plucky apparently; he had the same glazed look in his eyes he usually got when he was just about to beat a video game. Montana backstroked a few feet away from him; Plucky was in a frenzy and he had large feet that would no doubt leave a bruise. Plus he was muttering to himself about 'eye on the prize'.

"Ready…Set…Go!"

At Bugs' shout and the whistle, Montana inhaled, kicking off and heading towards the raft, still wondering why he was participating in this moment of group insanity.

Surfacing, he began to smoothly cut across the water, concentrating only on reaching the raft and getting back to shore, preferably first. He would be content if he wasn't dead last actually - losing to either Buster or Wakko would be intolerable, only because they would no doubt gloat about it for the next ten years.

Looking ahead, he could already see Foghorn nearing the raft with Jeeves, Plucky surprisingly not far behind. Montana mentally nodded to himself; he had been right - Plucky was faster than he looked. While the slowest of the four of them on land Plucky maneuvered well in water.

Silently encouraging his friend on, Montana continued to keep an even stroke, not wishing to wear himself out before the race was halfway over.

A bout of furious splashing caused him to falter briefly, wondering what was surfacing beside him. A quick glance showed Yakko, looking half bored and doing a doggie paddle spinning his tail like a propeller. Trying not to snicker, Montana ignored him, happy he wasn't on their team.

Slightly winded, Montana reached out, touching the raft and wondering what Foghorn was doing. The rooster looked like he had just outrun a pack of foxes the way he was panting and leaning on one of the barrels.

He shrugged it off; if the rooster was staying there it was one less person to beat them.

Or Plucky.

Kicking back off from the raft, Montana took a quick look around. Yakko was just touching the raft and heading back towards the shore very slowly. Mr. Bunny and Buster were close behind him, looking more like they were racing each other than anyone else.

Wakko was faltering in the rear, mostly splashing and looking like he was about to go down and sink like a stone, his tail thrashing like a caught snake behind him.

Dilemma.

He was well aware the Mime did not often see a swimming pool. Wakko had casually mentioned that Bugs - with some help from Daffy here and there - had taught him the rudiments of swimming. He knew Wakko played in Bugs' pool occasionally - no real training, just goofing around.

Watching him, Montana had to wonder if Wakko remembered a single lesson because he wasn't exactly making decent time. He hesitated, wondering if he should help save the retard. If he let him drown he wouldn't be able to get revenge on him later. It wasn't like he felt bad for him or worried about him or anything.

Besides, he was used to having to watch out for the others - that's what teams were supposed to do. Those idiots would have had their asses handed to them a couple of times if he had not taken on the role of unofficial body guard for them. Now, did he assume the role again despite wanting Wakko to go down like -

"Move moneybags unless you want to actually have to do some work for the second time this trip!"

Startled at Yakko's yell, Montana's head bobbed underwater briefly. He nodded; fine. Yakko was there; it was unlikely he would let his own brother drown, though he didn't exactly swim like a fish himself. Buster would no doubt be all right; his father was there.

Resolving to get back to the shore and watch to make sure they both got back - not because he was concerned - Montana began to head back, turning his attention to Plucky.

The duck was running neck and neck with Jeeves as they rapidly headed to shore, Plucky's own natural swimming ability and buoyancy helping to compete with Jeeves' longer strokes and greater endurance.

As he neared the duo, Montana watched, surprised, as Jeeves began to fall back behind Plucky. The duck was pulling ahead.

Happy his friend was winning but worried about his butler, Montana sped up, concerned he might have strained himself or was having a heart attack. Jeeves was extremely fast - there was no way he should be losing now -

Unless he was trying to lose.

Curious, Montana studied him harder for a moment. Jeeves was not swimming like he usually did when he did laps. He was pulling his strokes back, going slower than normal as Plucky rapidly paddled ahead of him.

He was letting Plucky win.

Somewhat confused that Jeeves would do that - after all, the man did dishes a lot - Montana sped up, wanting to get to shore to congratulate Plucky. Other than video games, it had to be one of the first times the duck had won something lately.

Besides, now that meant they didn't have to do the dishes. More time to plot; he was getting an evil idea regarding rope. Once already on this trip Plucky had proven to have a lovely ability to get it out of Foghorn's truck without anyone seeing.

Bugs blew his whistle and began waving his arms like he was flagging down a plane as Montana reached the shore, just a few seconds behind Jeeves. Montana decided to be happy about that - he was gaining speed himself, even if Jeeves wasn't swimming at his full potential.

Montana shot Jeeves a quick look, mostly of gratitude. Not only did they not have to do dishes, but slipping back a few paces and letting Plucky take the lead had done wonders for the duck. He looked like he had just been granted unlimited access to Scrooge's money bin.

Of course now that meant that he would have to listen to Plucky gloat all evening.

Wondering how much self congratulations he was going to have to listen to, Montana cast a quick glance over his shoulder to figure out where everyone was.

Buster and his father were about halfway to shore, Buster ahead by about a tails length. Yakko was behind them. Wakko and Foghorn were bringing up the rear.

Fine. The Mime and Boy Blue didn't drown. Not that he had been concerned for the two idiots of course.

Throwing his arm around Plucky's shoulders as everyone cheered for him, Montana offered his own congratulations before giving Plucky a nod and a smirk, shooting his eyes quickly to the rope swing.

The duck understood if his quick smirk was any indication.

He participated in the race and totally left their competition in his wake. Now, time to get back to more important matters. The rope in the back of Foghorn's truck, a couple of fairly sturdy trees and a bit of brainstorming with Plucky and his plan could get underway.

Operation Devastation was about to commence.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Gotta keep going…can't let them get there first…_

_Stupid - you have to get there period. Without help. Without drowning._

Swallowing another mouthful of lake water, Wakko flailed his arms for a moment as he tried to get to the surface. With a loud gasp he bobbed up, noting that for once in a race situation he was dead last.

He shuddered at the phrase that came unbidden into his head.

Dead. No doubt from drowning. He had to remember not to let himself get talked into a swimming competition again by Buster. He rarely finished last.

Well, sometimes he let Dot beat him if they were playing, but that was different. She was little and tried really hard and it wasn't her fault she was smaller than him.

Sometimes she beat him by herself if she outthought him - something she could do pretty good. But in a flat out race she couldn't beat him.

But swimming wasn't his thing. He liked swimming around in Bugs' pool when he was there; that was fun and the water wasn't pushing him around. Here though he felt like the water was trying to beat him up. For every three strokes he took he seemed to get six paces behind everyone else.

Blinking to try to clear lake water out of his eyes and struggling to even reach the raft, Wakko looked around. Yakko was ahead of him, spinning his tail around to get speed. Wakko watched before deciding it was a good idea and tried it himself.

He had heard the saying 'can't walk and chew gum at the same time'. He was one that couldn't spin his tail and swim at the same time.

He started sinking, his mouth and ears filling with cold funny tasting water and he stopped twirling his tail, letting it float limply behind him.

He hadn't wanted to do this - damn Buster for talking him into it. Buster excelled at this sort of stuff; the rabbit had practically leapt in joy when a race was announced.

Wakko had almost frozen; when he was playing on the swing or they were tossing the ball around at least everyone had been around - not that he wanted anyone to rescue him, but knowing that someone would be paying enough attention to assure he wouldn't drown was comforting.

Now though, everyone would be concentrating on trying to win the race themselves.

He might not win, but he could finish anyway. By himself.

Frustrated, Wakko came to the surface again, more fighting with the water than swimming in it and looked around. He was even more behind than he was.

He resolved not to get upset – too much anyway. He had to concentrate on just finishing; he was exhausted already and he was just barely getting within reach of the raft. He would die of embarrassment if he was too worn out to get back to shore and had to be helped.

Wakko snorted to himself; wouldn't Max and Plucky love that?

He'd never hear the end of it if he couldn't even finish and had to be helped in. Wakko figured that was why Yakko was slowing; he planned on helping him in like some baby.

No way. He'd drown first.

Wakko waved his hand at Yakko to move. When he waved he lost any momentum he had and plunged back underwater with a glub, wishing he could remember to hold his breath when he went down.

With an extreme amount of effort he pushed upwards again, thrashing his tail to help his momentum and splashed up, relieved that he was close to the raft.

"Go!" He yelled before going under again.

He was getting tired of this. If he wouldn't look like a damn wimp he would be perfectly content to climb to the top of the raft and just try to hitch a ride back. There were tons of boaters and people water skiing at the other end of the lake.

Rising to the surface again he looked around, seeing Yakko slowly paddling off - his brother wasn't as slick as he thought. He knew Yakko was keeping an eye on him. He appreciated his brother's concern and was secretly happy that Yakko was watching out for him but wished he would be a little more subtle about it.

Wakko looked around; no one was paying any attention to him thankfully.

Plucky and Jeeves looked like they were nearing the shore racing each other. The Mongoloid was swimming on his own behind them.

If nothing else, maybe that would put them both in a better mood. When Jeeves had first tossed Max in Wakko had wanted to get out - the way the other boy was fuming he was afraid the water would start boiling around him. Hell, as it was he was still red like a steamed lobster.

Wakko snickered briefly before again concentrating on swimming. He was having enough of a hard time doing that - laughing at Max wasn't going to help him any.

The two of them were going to come in well ahead of him; no doubt the two conceited assholes would go on about how great they were. At least they had something to brag about now. While he and Buster obviously kicked their asses at pranks the other two could swim very well.

Looking closer he could see Buster and his father ahead of him.

Annoyed with his lack of aquatic skills Wakko reached out, touching one of the barrels. Gripping a rope for a moment he rested his forehead against the side, panting.

He only needed a minute, less than a minute really. He was so far behind no one would notice if he stopped for a few seconds. Then, refreshed he could resume, maybe pull a not quite last place finish out of it.

Everyone always thought he got distracted too easy; Wakko would admit that he did at times. Maybe he could pretend he got distracted by the barrel or the raft. Or maybe a big fish; if he said he saw -

Wakko's thoughts went from trying to hide how exhausted he was to a dull sense of fright and panic. Something had grabbed him from underneath and was raising him slightly in the air.

Visions of 'Jaws' in his head, he started to kick at whatever was grasping his legs. He felt himself shift backwards and he held his breath, his cheeks puffing out as he inhaled a huge gulp of air since he saw himself going underneath the water again. He had just wanted to dream up a decent fish-story cover as an excuse for coming in last place; he really hadn't wanted to battle for his life with a giant fish.

As he fell backwards he got a glimpse of Plucky pulling ahead of Jeeves slightly and was annoyed. Everyone was so busy paying attention to Plucky actually winning a race for once that they wouldn't even notice he was getting dragged under by some horrible child-eating beast and -

"Stop hitting me in the face with your tail - I say - stop hitting me in the face with your tail Socket. Feels like I'm getting attacked by an eel."

_Foghorn. Shoulda known._

Relieved at hearing the familiar voice and calling himself an idiot for not even noticing that Foghorn wasn't in his sights, Wakko instantly relaxed.

_Safe…_

_Shit._

He instantly stiffened. Someone might see. That would be just as embarrassing as one of his friends finding out he had been sorta worried about the noises in the woods last night.

Not that he had been too worried then. And he wasn't tired now.

If he kept telling himself that, he would believe it eventually.

"Let go!" Wakko hissed, putting both hands on Foghorn's head and trying to push himself off. Or push Foghorn down; if anyone saw him riding around on the rooster's shoulders they'd figure out he was tired and couldn't keep up and was a crappy swimmer.

They'd figure it out anyway, but at least he didn't have to give them verifiable proof he sucked at this.

"Let go! I can get back - "

"Just calm down boy," Foghorn chuckled before cutting off as he himself inhaled a mouthful of water at Wakko's pushing on his head. "Figured I'd give ya a quick lift; you swallowed half the water in this lake already. Be nice to leave a little bit of it for the fish."

"I'm fine," Wakko insisted stubbornly, trying to thrash off Foghorn, but the rooster just tightened his grip on his ankles. "I'm not tired, I'm not drinking the lake, I'm - "

"Hold on boy," Foghorn said. "You're wearing yourself out; taking all those needless strokes. Look like a drowning dog with your tongue out like that." Lowering himself in the water so only his beak and eyes were exposed, he added, "Just keep swimming like you were boy - help build up that upper body."

When Wakko went to protest again, Foghorn said, "You talk too much boy."

Sighing, Wakko did as he was directed, happy for the break but more embarrassed. He had to be towed in after all like a lost infant.

Max and Plucky were going to laugh their heads off - hell, Buster might too. The rabbit had a bit of an ego in regards to himself and his athletic abilities and while he never tried to be mean, he could be a bit scornful if someone wasn't in his same league at a sport.

Wakko had never been on the receiving end of the rabbit's scorn - he was almost as athletically inclined as the blue bunny. He had a feeling he was gonna get a taste of it when he got back to shore though.

"Looks like we're gonna be doing dishes," Foghorn said, a note of approval in his voice. "Duck's done won - against Jeeves too. Knew the little guy had it in - "

"Great; now we can all listen to him talk about how wonderful he is in between the complaining," Wakko muttered, still moving his arms like a maniac. "Can you let me go now?" He begged.

If the race was over, the others would probably turn to watch the lake and the last place person. Him.

"Please Ratchet?" Wakko begged again, hoping the use of their super cool and super secret names would sway the chicken and he'd let him go.

Preferably before someone saw them.

Foghorn let go of his ankles and Wakko dropped off Foghorn's slick back, shaking a few loose feathers off his hands and incredibly relived.

Seeing Max, Jeeves and Bugs crowding around Plucky with Yakko heading over he sighed and added, "Knew I shouldn't have done this! I'm not good at swimming and I'm last and - "

"If you notice, I'm in last place on my team too," Foghorn pointed out, rubbing the top of Wakko's head and knocking loose hair into his eyes. "Figure I'm in good company."

"Yeah, but you could have won," Wakko muttered, cutting his eyes to Foghorn before looking towards shore. "You can swim and - "

"I'm a chicken - I say - I'm a chicken son!" Raising a hand to point to his beak and splashing Wakko he said, "You see a bill here boy? We ain't water loving fowl!" Snorting in a derogatory manner he muttered, "Only time I like water is if I'm bathing or making coffee."

_At least he's on the same page as me as far as swimming goes._

Wakko was well aware that Foghorn could swim better than he let on; he had seen the rooster take off when Bugs blew his whistle. He felt bad Foghorn lost because he was hanging out waiting to make sure he didn't drown.

At least he didn't seem mad he was going to have to do dishes.

"And you ain't weak," Foghorn said, tapping his shoulder to get his attention. "You did fine - not weak to get help now and then - smart to accept it when offered. Not that you - "

"I didn't accept," Wakko said, trying to talk over Foghorn and failing. "And I meant strong - "

"- I say - not that you got any say in it!" Foghorn continued on as if Wakko didn't say anything. Waving his arms and bobbing around in the water he added, "I grabbed you - finally found the right socket. No way - I say - no way I was letting it drop to the bottom of the lake and get lost."

Despite it being goofy and cheesy, Wakko grinned. Not only was Foghorn covering for him he knew the chicken wouldn't tell anyone he needed help.

"Let's go boy," Foghorn directed. "Just you and me - race you to the shore. You should go congratulate Plucky - "

"Why?" Wakko mumbled. "He's gonna rub it in my face - "

"So let him," Foghorn said in an unconcerned manner. "Boy swam well, can't deny that even if you four are arguing over who knows what at this point. And you make sure you congratulate him - nothing worse than a sore loser."

Wakko sighed. He'd do it, but he wouldn't like it. And he didn't have to listen to Plucky - tell him he was a faboo swimmer and leave.

He turned his attention back to Foghorn, who was still talking.

" - and me?" The rooster let out a sigh before grinning. "I get to inform Bugs that he was on our team whether he swam or not - therefore he gets to do the dishes tonight after all."

XXXXXXXXXX

" - I was merely the referee and - "

"Grow up Bugs," Mr. Bunny muttered quietly while causally looking over his shoulder. "We're supposed to be showing the kids teamwork - "

"But I wasn't on the team!" Bugs insisted. Pointing to Yakko he said, "He took my spot and you guys lost!"

"Meaning - I say - meaning he's being more mature than you," Foghorn said dryly. "And it seems like I remember you agreeing after I helped get your German tank out of the river, or did you think I forgot about that.?"

Yakko chortled at Bugs' look. Bugs may not be looking at him like the mature young adult he was - yet - but at least the others were, or were starting to.

Maybe because he wasn't on the verge of throwing a tantrum when informed that he was going to have to do the dishes. He was on the 'not so younguns' team - the team that lost, though he didn't fault Jeeves for that.

The man had impressed Yakko for falling behind and letting the duckling win. Bugs had complained about it - not because he let Plucky win, but because the duck's victory sentenced them all to doing the dishes.

Including Yakko.

He sighed. Yakko wasn't delighted about the idea - he did dishes enough at home. With the five of them working they should have it done quickly. Plus, it annoyed Bugs.

And he wanted to be viewed as more of an adult; complaining about it would do nothing but make the others around him second guess including him in their little pow wows.

"Him?" Bugs said, raising an eyebrow at Yakko. "More mature than me?" Snorting he muttered, "You must be joking doc."

Not as annoyed at the comment as he would normally be, Yakko faked a yawn and said, "Who's complaining about doing dishes? If you notice, I'm accepting responsibility and stepping up to the task."

"He does have a point Mister Bugs," Jeeves said, watching Max and Plucky whispering by a tree. "The boys could use a lesson in teamwork - seeing us arguing about something as simple as doing the dishes…" Shaking his head he said, "Than again, I suppose if they see how ridiculous you look they might still learn the lesson."

Laughing along with the others, Yakko added, "But seeing how he did the dishes last night - and messing up everything else since he got out here, maybe it would be easier for us to give him a pass."

"Watch it Itchy - I still got a full box of powder and a brand new band on my slingshot."

Yakko felt the grin wiped off his face as the group around him laughed louder.

"You four aren't the target of the other four," Bugs groused. "I wanna know which one did this latest prank."

"Not sure," Foghorn shrugged. "Funny as hell though. Couldn't have been - I say - couldn't have been Wakko." Turning to watch the four boys who were eyeing each other like rabid animals he added, "Know one of them used silicone - figured it out after examining your table more. The boy knows to put it back in the right drawer. Whichever one took it threw it in the wrong drawer."

_There was a right drawer?_

Yakko mentally winced. He hadn't realized. When he had passed Foghorn's truck he had merely tossed it in one of the open drawers on the toolbox.

Oh well; if nothing else it got Wakko off the hook. Amazing how Wakko couldn't manage to put the dishes in the right cabinet at home but could remember where each and every tool went in Foghorn's toolbox. Most of the toolbox looked like a jumbled mass of metal to Yakko.

"Lighten up Bugs," Mr. Bunny said. "It was funny - admit it. If it had happened to Foghorn you would have laughed just as hard."

"Well that's different," Bugs explained. "Then it would have been hysterical." Sighing when he saw everyone looking at him Bugs finally mumbled, "Fine; I'll forget about it for now. And I'm not scrubbing, not this time docs. I'm drying."

Yakko sighed again; he had already been informed he would likely be doing most of the scrubbing. He was being hesitantly accepted in to the group of adults but he was still low man on the totem pole so to speak.

"Let's get those four back to camp before they kill each other," Mr. Bunny said, gesturing towards the four boys who were arguing loudly again. "Maybe if we feed them they'll calm down."

_Not likely._

Yakko watched the four of them - Buster was laying face down in the dirt. Wakko was standing over him in a defensive pose while Plucky laughed and Max smirked with a devilish look holding the inflatable ball. All four were yelling about something or another.

Didn't take a genius to figure out what happened there.

He had hoped that the racing and playing in the water would have at least worn them out. No such luck; they seemed more energized - and more disdainful - of each other. The only time they weren't actively fighting each other was when they were separated or trying to avoid Bugs.

"Probably testing out pranks they can use on me," Bugs said. "I'm on to them though; no way they're gonna catch me - not again."

"Bugs," Foghorn sighed. "The boys - I say - the boys are too busy trying to kill each other to worry about you." Stretching he added, "Let's get them rounded up and separated. I had to swim - I say - I had to swim! Now I'm exhausted and cranky; my feathers are soaked and I can't listen to them anymore right now; I'm almost outta aspirin."

Four matching looks of horror met that statement.

"I too am growing weary of the constant fighting," Jeeves said, rubbing his temples briefly. "Though you should be pleased Mister Foghorn; you don't have to deal with the constant whining and attitude I have been subjected to the last forty-eight hours."

"Oh you think so?" Mr. Bunny griped, grabbing a glass of Bugs' V8 and downing the contents. "Buster's in some weird phase - claiming he's a 'man' but still seems incapable of getting his underwear in the hamper while daydreaming about Babs at any given moment."

Yakko rolled his eyes and smirked, relieved to know he wasn't the only one that felt that way every now and then. He loved his brother - he liked his friends - but he was tempted to wring their necks every now and then. But he wasn't alone.

And he felt more like a member of the group - these candid conversations when he was around were happening more and more frequently. He was being accepted.

When the other four looked at him, Yakko shrugged.

"Sorry, worst I got right now is excessive burping and his insistence he doesn't have a crush on Elmyra."

"That will change I expect," Jeeves muttered. "I can not tell you the number of times I have had to interrupt a romantic interlude between Master Montana and his sweet intended and believe me, they are both extremely creative."

Yakko heard Bugs snort while muttering under his breath and looking at him. He chose to ignore the rabbit.

Though he never looked at 'Master Montana' as a real Lothario before. At twelve - the kid moved almost as fast as he did. He would no doubt be a terror when he was fifteen.

"Let's get them back in the truck," Foghorn said, stretching again. Looking at Yakko, he said, "Catch."

Surprised, Yakko jumped when Foghorn tossed something to him and he fumblingly caught them.

_Truck keys?_

He examined the hefty ring of keys, two keys with the familiar bow-tie logo on them, other keys blank or smudged with dirt. A large keychain declaring that Chevy was 'The Heartbeat of America' attached to the ring.

_No way…_

Confused - and slightly excited - Yakko looked at Foghorn, expecting that this was some of the 'bottom of the totem pole' stuff and he was going to be told to load the truck up. No way Foghorn was going to let him drive…not his baby.

"Are you nuts?" Bugs hissed, trying to snatch the keys from Yakko.

He failed; Yakko took several steps back. If Foghorn was going to let him drive no way he was going to hand the keys to Bugs.

"No, I'm tired," Foghorn said firmly. "Told ya I had to swim - more than I saw you do Bunny, hiding up here on the shore from a bunch of preteens."

"I thought you were going to wait - "

_What is going on?_

"What for?"

"You four stop that!" Mr. Bunny snapped. Tapping Jeeves on the shoulder he added, "Come on - Wakko's trying to make Plucky eat the beach ball."

Yakko watched them walk off while still tightly clutching the keys.

He watched both adults argue - Bugs serious and Foghorn unconcerned. He was picking up enough, but he hated to assume anything. If he assumed wrong he really would look like an ass.

"No, no way I'm allowing this," Bugs said, grabbing at the keys again. "I'm in charge and I don't think this is a good idea. He's only got a learners - "

"So he's legal. He's going a mile Bugs," Foghorn said, waving a hand dismissively. "We'll be right there - "

" - and we're responsible for those four kids!" Bugs snapped, pointing towards the arguing knot of boys being bodily separated by Mr. Bunny and Jeeves before pointing back to Yakko. "And him! And everyone else in the truck."

"He's not driving on the Autobahn; it's a mile long dirt path."

_I am gonna drive…_

_I'm gonna drive!_

_Maybe._

Yakko grinned at Foghorn, wondering what he had done to earn this honor.

There were rumors that Foghorn would glare at shopping carts in parking lots, making them burst into flames before they reached his truck. Most intelligent people avoided his Chevrolet like it contained several pounds of a lethal poison. It was no coincidence that the boys had chosen to toilet paper Bugs' car instead of Foghorn's truck. Bugs would yell at them; Foghorn would yell then murder them.

But Foghorn wanted him to drive it. It wasn't far and Yakko doubted he would go too fast, but still - behind the wheel. Not in the passenger seat.

Yakko glared at Bugs, hoping he didn't talk the chicken out of his idea. He really wanted to drive.

Inhaling and looking worried Bugs asked, "What if something happens Foggy? You gonna explain it to Plotz?"

"Please," Foghorn scoffed. "Since when did you get so concerned about obeying all the rules?"

"Since I was chosen to be the lead chaperone for them!" Rubbing his head Bugs added, "He's supposed to be taught to drive in a safe controlled environment with a reliable driver - "

"Knew they wouldn't let you teach him for a reason."

_No way Bugs is taking this opportunity from me._

Willing his heart rate to slow, Yakko finally spoke, hoping he sounded adult about it.

"Look, I can do it Bugs." Deciding a little flattery was in order he added, "Come on Da-Doo - who took me down for my test huh? You helped me study for it - you should have more confidence in your teaching abilities - and me."

Foghorn grinned widely while Bugs rolled his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"It's not that Yakko…well, kinda. And this isn't the best place for your first lesson…"

Yakko tried to keep the wide-eyed pleading look off his face.

"Haven't I proven I can do some things Bugs? Who's your official chair tester now? And you trusted me to taste your drink in case the screwballs put soap in it. Look, I promise I'll listen to anything you and Foghorn say - OK?"

Bugs regarded him for a moment, deciding. Yakko waited, trying not to hold his breath - if he passed out no way they'd let him behind the wheel.

The rabbit finally sighed, shrugging before saying, "Fine, fine. Guess I may as well get used to it. Go ahead."

Yakko grinned - he won. And was able to use his role of unofficial guard against further pranks to help. He promised himself he wouldn't pull anymore pranks on Bugs for this.

Well, nothing big anyway. Maybe hide his sunglasses again.

"Guess you'll be driving that thing soon enough anyway," Bugs sniffed, looking at Foghorn's truck.

Yakko looked at him, slightly confused. Bugs shook his head, gave a half-hearted grin and continued.

"We weren't going to tell you until after this weekend was over - and I could get used to the idea. Foghorn's been chosen to be one of the ones to teach you to drive…What Plotz was thinking I don't know."

"Thinking he was going to get the boy the best teacher he could!" Foghorn jovially bellowed, slapping Yakko on the back. "I've never had my license suspended - "

Yakko winced slightly and managed to catch his balance before he fell over. Foghorn should take into account how strong he was compared to others.

"Only because you never got caught," Bugs grinned.

"You're just upset - I say - you're just upset you aren't approved for once," Foghorn said. Turning Yakko bodily around he said, "Let's go boy. The others are already loaded up."

Nodding, Yakko looked at the truck. The warring parties were in the back of the truck, sitting along the bed rail, once again glaring at each other but at least being silent. Probably because Jeeves and Mr. Bunny were back there restraining everyone.

Just him, Foghorn and Bugs in the cab of the truck.

Yakko gulped, the enormity of the situation hitting him. He was going to drive…for the first time…with these two beside him and pretty much a large portion of everyone he loved or cared for in the bed of the truck. If he hit a bump he could bounce one of them out, they could get hurt, they could be killed…

He almost faltered in his steps while looking at the truck. He never realized how massive the thing was. Figures Foghorn had to buy one of the biggest pickups on the market. Foghorn really didn't seem like a Honda Civic sort of guy, but why did he have to own such a behemoth truck?

Yakko tried to get his mind to stop rambling. Neither Foghorn or Bugs would let him kill anyone.

Unless he bounced one of them out of the truck…

Nervous and chastising himself, Yakko opened the driver's side door, swallowing his anxiety and climbing behind the wheel with the intention of driving for the first time in his life.

Sitting behind the wheel, Yakko looked around as Foghorn climbed into the seat beside him, propping one foot up on the dashboard and reclining back. Bugs sat in the rear seat, leaning on Yakko's chair.

Yakko put the key in the ignition, mostly so he wouldn't lose it. This was nerve-racking; he could see himself losing the key and not only pissing Foghorn off but then everyone would laugh -

"Oh my God - he's driving?"

Like they were going to do now.

Yakko closed his eyes, tremendously uncomfortable as the taunting and laughing began.

"Shut up Max - "

"You shut up Wakko - he's your brother I know but - "

"Well I know but - Oh no! I don't want to die either! Let's jump out!"

"Or hitch a ride!"

"I wanna walk back to camp! I just won the race - "

"Good God we know man shut up!"

"I wanted to at least hear the ball game! I'm not going to if I'm dead!"

"Let me out of this truck! I don't wanna die!"

Yakko felt his palms getting sweaty under his gloves at the roars of laughter and jeering he could hear coming from the bed of the truck.

He should have known the four monsters in back would have started in on him. It was his own fault - he should have listened to what Bugs said - his first lessons should have been in a safe, controlled environment with no passengers.

If nothing else though, picking on him seemed to distract them from the fact they wanted to do bodily harm to each other. He looked at them in the rear view mirror as they all mimed motions of exaggerated crashes and screams and grievous injuries. He was pretty sure the people across the lake could hear them.

Agitated and embarrassed, Yakko turned, wishing he had rolled up the window so he might not hear them as well. He looked at Foghorn, about to tell him that while he appreciated the opportunity maybe they should wait when they didn't have such a rude audience before he heard other voices.

"Please be silent - at least reasonably so. Master Yakko is unlikely to careen off the road and into a tree - unless of course you four are bellowing and distracting him."

"And remember children - none of the hospitals around here have toon wards. It's a long way back to L.A. with broken tails, noses and limbs. I suppose we could ask Smokey to come back though; chances are he'll know some basic first aid."

Yakko was amazed at how quiet it got after Mr. Bunny spoke those words.

"Ignore them Yakko," Bugs said casually, still leaning on the back of his seat. "They're a distraction - and you can't be distracted if you wanna drive. You have to be confident - and focused. And put your seatbelt on - helps keep me calmer."

"Ease off Bunny," Foghorn said, propping his chin up on his hand. "It's a mile long dirt path not a race track." Smirking Foghorn added, "If it was I'd let you drive - you'd be a natural on there."

"Wise guy," Bugs muttered before tapping Yakko again. "OK, make sure your feet reach the pedals or adjust the seat. And just stay calm." Putting his hand on Yakko's shoulder for a minute he added, "I know you're nervous but don't be. I have every confidence in the world you'll be a great driver - much better than Foghorn."

"Don't fill the boys head with false hope," the rooster drawled. Turning to Yakko he asked, "Your mirrors set? Good." After a moment Foghorn bellowed, "What are you waiting - I say - what are you waiting for? You stalling?"

"No!" Yakko stammered.

"Act like you're waiting for an invitation! Ain't never gonna get back if we sit here all day! Start her up!"

Startled, Yakko almost fell out of his seat at Foghorn's demand. He smacked his chin on the steering wheel, but managed to grasp the key in his shaking hands and turn it, hearing the engine roar to life as the laughter and hollering in the bed of the truck went up a few octaves.

"Way to keep him calm Foggy," Bugs drawled, resting his chin on his folded arms. "Yelling isn't the best way to do that - "

"Who's yelling?" Foghorn asked.

_You are._

Yakko tried to tell himself that Foghorn wasn't yelling; the rooster was just naturally loud. He wasn't yelling - he's the one that offered to let him drive. There was no logical reason for him to be yelling.

"Just put her in gear boy," Foghorn said, sounding like he was trying to keep his voice down.

Yakko still thought he sounded like a trumpet going off in his ear.

"This ain't no race, just put your foot on the break and put it in drive."

Yakko swallowed and nodded, grasping the gearshift on the column.

"Ease off - slowly - there ya go! We're rolling - just keep the wheel straight. Worse that's gonna happen - I say - worse that's gonna happen if you speed up is you bounce one of the talking headaches out of the back of the truck. Might not be a big thing."

Yakko nodded, nervous but feeling extremely pleased with himself. He was driving!

Sure, he hadn't even hit the gas pedal yet and they were moving at about the same pace as a box turtle but he was in control of the vehicle.

Putting one arm behind his head, Foghorn nodded. "You're doing great boy - hit the gas a bit, don't want to take all day to get back. Gonna do that, might as well have walked."

Yakko gently pushed the gas pedal, feeling the truck give a shuddering lurch as it bolted forward. He immediately took his foot off the gas. Nervous, he pushed his foot down harder than he meant to and tried to ignore the 'whoas' and 'craps' and 'shit he's gonna kill us!' coming from the back of the truck.

Looking back he could see the four boys laughing while Jeeves and Mr. Bunny looked more concerned than they previously had been as they tried to alternate between holding on to the rails of the truck and keeping hands on the boys so they didn't leap out or get thrown out.

He pressed again, feeling the truck take off.

"Ease off a bit boy!" Foghorn said loudly, griping the dashboard momentarily as the speedometer and RMP needles jumped and lurched. "Don't get cocky! Just remember boy - this is my truck. Those stories you heard; they ain't just rumors - "

"Foghorn…" Bugs warned, watching the road ahead of them while clutching the back of Yakko's seat. "Eyes on the road Yakko!"

"What rabbit?" Foghorn questioned, raising an eyebrow. Turning back to Yakko he added, "I find one scratch on this truck and I'll use your hide to buff it out."

Yakko immediately swallowed and took his foot off the gas, creeping the truck down the rutted dirt road back to the camp. The last time he checked, his 'hide' was not an acceptable cleaning cloth.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Just…I don't know…"

"Why Monty, admitting you don't know something? Did you hit your head on a rock when Jeeves tossed you in the lake?"

"Shut up Plucky," Montana answered, barely looking at Plucky as he came over with a handful of leaves and dumped them unceremoniously next to the duck.

Kneeling next to Plucky in the dirt, he watched the duck as he tied another knot in the rope. He had to admit; his friend seemed to know what he was doing which surprised the hell out of him.

"Hand me that knife," Plucky ordered.

Handing him the blade they had found in Foghorn's truck, Montana finally asked, "OK, I have to know. Where the hell did you learn to tie these things?"

"Please," Plucky sneered, cutting the rope into two separate pieces. "You think all Daffy taught me was how to Fritz pies?" Waving one hand at the second length he tossed off to the side he added, "I've known how to do these for years. Give me some credit."

"Well don't get all pissy about it," Montana snapped. "It's not like you ever said anything."

"You never asked."

_Got me there._

"Fine," Montana huffed, annoyed. "So you know more than what happened in the latest releases of comic books. So sue me - I had no idea you knew anything beyond the realm of sci-fi - "

"You know Monty, I do know more than how to beat a video game or what happened on the latest episode of Star Trek," Plucky said, sounding a bit hurt.

"Never said you didn't Duck," Montana retorted. "Just most of the stuff you know about isn't very useful or helpful or even relevant to anyth- "

"Not useful?" Plucky stood, brushing his hands off on his jeans before turning to get in Montana's face.

Or trying to. Montana would have smirked at his shorter friend if he had not been so stunned that the duck was standing up to him.

It rarely happened - every now and then he did something to piss the duck off and the duck would blow. Seventy-five percent of the time it really was his fault, Montana knew that. This time though he didn't think he had done anything that horrible. The stuff Plucky knew about was not usually relevant to anything going on.

"I guess it wasn't 'relevant' that I knew how to fix your Sega when you kicked it after you lost for the umpteenth time to me!"

"I thanked you for that!"

Not that it mattered, he probably could have talked Jeeves into replacing it quickly enough. Still though that would have been a hassle and no doubt have taken a few days, not to mention he would have had to come up with a believable excuse as to why it was battered beyond recognition. Plucky had managed to fix it in a matter of hours - it still looked like hell, but it worked great.

"Or 'useful' when I tinkered with your stupid RC car and made it go faster!" Plucky huffed, balling his fists as he yelled, "I doubled the speed on that thing and it only took me a few days and I scorched a few feathers doing it!"

Montana would never forget that; his bedroom had smelled like burnt down for days and there was a few singe marks in his carpet that he had to hide under a pile of books so Jeeves wouldn't see.

That car moved though - Plucky had done a bang up job. Even the duck's own car wasn't as fast as Montana's now.

"And I hacked through Jeeves stupid parental control features so you could get all the channels he didn't want you to watch in your bedroom!"

Plucky's skills with computers at its finest.

Montana had passed several pleasant hours alone in his room with the new and vastly more interesting channels he had access to.

Thanks to Plucky.

Montana blinked at him - Plucky was getting pissed. The duck was unreasonable when he was pissed.

Best to calm him down.

Besides…

Montana swallowed uneasily, almost unwilling to admit it.

Plucky was right…

Oh God the duck was right.

"OK Plucky OK," Montana said while putting his hands up in a soothing gesture. "You're right…Look…" Inhaling and scratching at his neck awkwardly he added quietly, "I'm sorry."

Regarding him for a moment, Plucky nodded stiffly before turning back to the rope.

"Be nice if you appreciated me for something other than someone for you to bully."

Insulted, Montana advanced on Plucky, roughly smacking him on the shoulder while saying, "Now hold on - I have never not appreciated you!"

"When?" The duck laughed bitterly. "Just because you're happy you didn't have to do dishes that means - "

"I told you I knew you would win!" Montana insisted. "I had every confidence in you that you would win! And yes, I'm happy we didn't have to do dishes! You are the best swimmer out here - Daffy couldn't have done better! And I congratulated you! You beat Jeeves for Christ sake!"

"Glad to know you appreciate something I do," Plucky muttered. "You've managed to piss off everyone else - hell, you've been pissing me off. I'm pretty sure I got skunked because of you but look who's sitting out here in the damn dirt with you helping you out."

Montana did not believe that was entirely true - Plucky got attacked just as much as him, he just pissed off a different person. But it was not worth arguing about - much anyway. They both had a common enemy; it would be wise to focus on them and not each other.

Inhaling and going back to tying the end of the ropes in large circles Plucky muttered almost inaudibly, "You know I have to deal with this shit at home, being told everything I have an interest in is a gigantic waste of time, I won't make anything of myself and acting's all I got; none of this will help further my career. Be nice if my best friend didn't tell me the exact same thing."

Montana averted his eyes from his friend, his shoulders slumped as he went back to working on the lengths of rope. If he didn't watch him, he wouldn't see that he had actually hurt him.

Shit.

The quiet way Plucky had spoken at the end reminded Montana of when they met.

The tiny four year old duckling dressed in his little blue suit and giant bow-tie who stuttered and lisped and got picked on by everyone and almost had his baseball cards stolen by Tank. The way he cowed when his parents had first begun really pushing him to act and get publicity after he got spotted running around the playground by a talent scout.

Montana had suffered a bloody nose and a split lip on a few occasions protecting the little nit-wit, not to mention spending hours sitting and listening to the duck when he wanted to vent about his parents pushing him, telling him that he was wasting his time and talents by fiddling with a computer or a video game.

When they had first met, the duckling had driven him up the wall. Now many years later he still drove him up the damn wall but it was usually an amusing trip.

Plucky was a hell of a lot more capable of protecting himself now, but sometimes, Montana still saw the wide-eyed, self-conscious stuttering duckling come out, and he usually wanted to kick the ass of anyone who dared pick on the duck.

That was his job.

He loved giving Plucky hell. Plucky loved giving it to him. They usually didn't try to actually hurt each other. And this time, his own big mouth and bitchy attitude did it.

He hated feeling guilty.

It happened occasionally of course and was usually a pain in the ass when it did. But normally if he acted like an unreasonable ass he usually tried to apologize to some degree.

And since he was the one that had hurt the duck this time…

Awkwardly he went forward to Plucky, unsure what to do. He hadn't meant to piss him off - no, most of the stuff Plucky had an interest in wasn't particularly interesting to him. He no more cared how the RC car's battery worked than he cared about what the hell that bald chap on Star Trek was talking about with the robot guy.

But he knew Plucky cared not about most of the things he himself had an interest in either. Plucky usually laughed at him regarding his fencing, but the duck usually supported him while he giggled at him. Plucky didn't give a shit about history either, but he knew Montana did - he often went to him for help, especially if it was in regards to European history.

He appreciated Plucky, and not just to bully around…

Fine - the duck was intelligent. Egotistical and prone to fits of ecstasy over very trivial things at times, but intelligent and had some very useful skills.

Damn.

"I object to being compared to your parents," Montana said crisply, trying to put together what he wanted to say in his mind and not come off sounding like a complete jerk. He'd done enough of that. "I…Look, you are correct."

"Nice of you to notice," Plucky grunted, tying another knot, studying it carefully for a moment before untying it.

"This has been a shitty weekend and I'm taking it out on the one person who's stuck beside me - who has always stayed beside me." Running a hand through his hair he said, "I'm sorry - really. I appreciate it - in your own way you are probably the most intelligent one out here - "

"You're just saying that because I know how to tie these things."

"No I'm not!" Frustrated, Montana rolled his eyes. "I don't know how else to say it - I'm sorry! I had no wish to sound anything like your parents. I think you're bloody brilliant despite the fact I want to kick your arse around Burbank half the time! I don't understand how you do some of the stuff you manage to do, but you do it mostly correctly and well!" Surprised by his own outburst he added softly, "Really, believe me! I don't want to lose you as a friend too - "

"Oh I do," Plucky interrupted him. "Trust me, I think I've heard you say sorry maybe three times since I met you. I wish I had a recording of it."

_Asshole._

"And Jeeves has been OK," Plucky pointed out. "You've been a jerk to him too."

_Have I?_

_Screw him. He is the help and I am the paycheck._

"He hasn't been all bad - least he came out here with you." Shrugging, Plucky said, "The others - you've been a real jerk off to them too but…" Grinning and picking up the now tied ropes he added, "They deserved it."

_Very true. Most of the time._

"And apology accepted; who the hell else would I get to listen to me?" Plucky said.

_A very bored brick wall._

"And I'm sorry - you aren't anywhere near as bad as my parents." Sighing Plucky added, "It has been a shitty weekend." Looking up at the trees he added, "But it's about to get a lot better though. I need to get this up on that branch." Turning to Montana he thrust the rope out to him. "Here; start climbing."

"Don't even look at me," Montana said while giving a haughty sniff at Plucky's order. "I am no monkey. I'm not climbing up - "

"You wanted to get them back - "

"So did you!"

_Are we going to start arguing again?_

"But this was your idea," Plucky taunted. "And since I'm the only one that knows how to carry the plan out, you'll have to climb the trees. I have to set the traps down here anyway."

Montana didn't move. He instead eyed the tree, wondering if this was the best idea.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. He had a feeling that phrase would be the death of both himself and Plucky.

"Hop to it Monty," Plucky taunted, holding out the rope to him.

"Can't we go find a ladder?" Montana asked, trying not to whine much. "I am liable to fall and cause myself an injury."

"We can only hope," Plucky replied, finally putting the rope in Montana's hand before turning from him. "Let me know when you have it over the branch; I'll have to catch it down below to tie it off before hiding it. Then we have to figure out where the best spot would be to hide."

Montana stared at Plucky, cursing the duck while contemplating him. How the hell could he make him angry, then make him feel sorry for his stupid ass, then get all his self-confidence and unwarranted self-importance back in such a small amount of time? It was mind boggling. Most adults weren't this bossy.

"You said you had come up with a great plan but needed help carrying it through. I listened and improved on it." Throwing his arm around Montana's shoulders Plucky yelped happily, "Come on Monty! It's teamwork! You and me against the forces of evil! We will prevail against our enemies!"

He had better check and make sure Plucky took his medicine.

"Calm down Plucky or you may as well announce what we are doing to everyone. Maybe we can just ask Buster and Wakko to step into the traps."

"I planned on baiting them with candy - Buster will jump in the damn thing for me if I lay some Sweet Tarts down there. Wakko will no doubt fall into them if I put the candy there and he gorges himself - "

"Not funny Plucky."

He wanted to get Wakko; he didn't want to actually see him hurt. Not by his diabetes. By his fists, yes, that was acceptable. By a prank was good too. But not by making him sick. That was wholly unacceptable - a cheap shot and Montana prided himself on not making a shot that cheap.

And he prided himself on decent plans - laying out candy like it was a fucking path to a gingerbread house and hoping Buster and Wakko would trip over it and be stupid enough to eat was…horrid. So horridly stupid he could barely contemplate it.

And here he thought he knew the depths and planes of Plucky's idiocy.

Sighing and looking up into the trees Montana said, "Fine. I'll climb up - you are liable to hurt yourself. And this 'improving' upon my plan had better work or I'll use you as bear bait.

Starting to climb and listening to Plucky laugh below him Montana added, "And I have a better way to lure them down this path than planting candy. Let me know when you hear that idiot coming back from the lake."

XXXXXXXXX

_- holding on valiantly, the cowboy raced after them, determined to get the kidnapped bunny back. He held on to the reins as he yelled at his horse to run faster and grabbed his big white hat at the same time while firing off his guns…_

_Shit…he might hit Babs - or the bunny. _

_So not Babs; this story is not about Babs._

Sighing, Buster erased the last line, trying again.

_He could see her cotton-candy pink ears bouncing around in the stagecoach the outlaw had stolen._

_He heard her shrill yells for him to help her and he kicked his horse…um…really really hard…_

_And…_

_Um…_

_OK, do you kick horses to get them to move?_

Frowning, Buster chewed on the end of his pencil, wondering. It seemed sort of mean to kick them; maybe people just nudged sort of firmly to get them to move?

He'd have to ask Dot some time when he wasn't busy trying to antagonize her with Wakko. She rode horses and hadn't been trampled yet so she would probably know.

Sighing, Buster leaned back against the tree, tucking his pencil behind one ear as he held his book against his chest.

He had been anxious to get back to the camp to start writing again, having been inspired by the surroundings of the lake. It looked like something out of the westerns his father sometimes watched, all the big trees and the lake with the snow-capped mountains in the distance. It was easy to imagine the wild frontier, the pioneers crossing the mountain passes for the first time on their way to a new life.

Arching his back while stretching, he looked out toward the camp. The adults had finished doing the dishes along with Yakko who pretty much counted now that he was sort of driving. Now they were sitting back and enjoying their coffee, talking quietly, every now and then the dull hum of conversation broken by laughter.

At least they were having fun, enjoying being in each other's company. No one looked like they wanted to kill each other. Buster sighed, remembering when it had been like that amongst his own group.

He had tried to apologize - again - and been turned down. Hell, even Wakko on his own tried to apologize. Those two could hold a grudge longer than anyone Buster had ever seen.

Max had almost shoved the beach ball down his throat earlier and all Buster had been trying to do was congratulate Plucky. The duck was being an asshole but he could swim well, saving all of them from having to scrub pots and pans.

Buster looked around; dusk would be falling soon. And that would be it; tomorrow they would all be heading back home. Back to his safe, comfortable home with its television and stereo and video game and telephone so he could call Babs -

No. Not her.

He held his head. He would call…someone else and relate this entire nightmare to her - them! Not her.

Oh who was he kidding - she would be the first phone call he made.

And yet, it hadn't been bad, all of it. He got to spend time with his father which was enjoyable - he would have to remember this the next time his father wanted to engage in some male bonding. He had a few spare moments to write which pleased him - he wished he had more time but shrugged. He would have plenty of time when he got home.

Wakko being around had been a god send and an annoyance - he certainly kept him entertained, but his stupid prank war with Max was going on longer than he had anticipated. Not that the Mongoloid hadn't deserved it - Plucky too.

Buster was incredibly sorry things had ended up the way they had. He still had hopes that one day, this would all blow over.

He brightened at a thought. Max - and Plucky to a certain degree – was just mostly pissed about the whole video game thing, not to mention being stuck in the woods. Maybe when they got back home, got back to their normal lives they would calm down, try to listen when he and Wakko tried to apologize and they could put the entire ordeal behind them.

He looked down at his book and sighed before looking up at his father.

Dad had seemed to enjoy himself even if worried about the escalating prank war.

Buster knew his father had gone through a lot and had desperately needed a vacation, even if it was a short one. Spending time with him was definitely the focus of the trip, but Dad needed to get out more and spend time with his friends.

He was glad Dad had suggested the trip, even if it had turned out to be partially disastrous.

Sighing, he stood, gripping his book. He had spent so much time with Wakko fighting with the other two ding a lings that he felt like he had hardly spent any time with his father.

Flustered that again his story seemed to be centered on one certain pink bunny Buster turned his ears towards the adults' conversation. If it wasn't anything important or interesting, he could ask his father if he wanted to take a walk. He figured if he invited his father to take a walk with him since it was their last night out there it would show that he appreciated the opportunity to do something with him.

Besides, the group had gotten sort of quiet. Whenever adults got quiet it usually meant it was a conversation a kid wasn't supposed to hear. That usually meant it was extremely interesting.

" - guns - I say - and both guns are locked in a safe under the seat."

_Guns?_

_Holy shit! Off the radar as far as interesting subject matters went!_

Stunned but enthralled at the conversation the adults were having, Buster silently crept out from under the tree, keeping low to the ground with his ears raised high while heading towards the group.

The adults didn't know where he was - after dinner all four of them had been instructed to stay within ear-shot but to disappear for awhile so the adults could nurse their headaches and sore muscles.

While they talked, he stayed low, reaching the outlying trees near them. He watched as Yakko began pouring cups of coffee for everyone and the conversation began to get more animated.

"Just didn't know you brought them doc," Bugs said, holding up his hands. "Don't get your pinfeathers bent out of shape."

"Well I don't get it," Yakko said, sounding annoyed and confused. "I don't like guns." When all four adults turned to look at him he fumblingly added, "Sorry - most I ever saw anyone use them for was robberies and the drug dealers - "

"I ain't out robbing people boy! I use them for target practice -"

"Well I know that!" Yakko said, sounding flustered and running a hand through his hair before he mumbled 'never mind'.

"Speak your peace boy - "

"Does Wakko know about them?" Yakko shot out at him.

"Are you kidding?" Foghorn snorted. "I'm afraid to let him know I have a high powered water gun." Shrugging Foghorn said, "Never saw a reason to tell him. Ones I got are locked up in a safe in my bedroom - hope you'd trust me enough to - "

"It's not that," Yakko sighed. "Sorry. With my background, I never saw guns accomplish much good." Shrugging again he added, "And no, I trust you. Why wouldn't I? I would just rather Wakko not know about them, at least for the time being."

"Most I've discussed with the boy as far as guns go is paintball and water guns."

"Oh God, paintball," Yakko moaned in a theatrical manner, hiding his face in his hands before laughing. "He's mentioned them once or twice. That's all we need is him finding another way to make a mess."

"Boys might like it - help them burn off some of that excess energy they have."

Buster heard his father who had been silent so far finally speak.

"Look at it this way Yakko; at least he's one of the responsible ones." Shrugging Dad took a sip of his coffee before adding, "I'm not a fan of guns either and think all the boys are way too young to know about them." Turning to Foghorn he added, "And I've heard about your competition shooting. If toons are going to own them I'd rather it be someone who is responsible enough to securely lock them up."

"Indeed," Jeeves said. Turning to Foghorn he asked, "May I enquire as to what you usually fire?"

Cocking one eyebrow up, Foghorn said, "Got a .38 under the seat. Have a few .45's in the safe at home; use them if I do any competitions. Have a couple of shotguns. Even have an old Colt Peacemaker. Expect you wouldn't know what that is."

"Oh, and I thought you would have something interesting, like a Blunderbuss ," Jeeves said dryly.

"Huh?" Yakko said, wiping his head around from the coffee pot.

"It's a gun used by the pirates," Dad said. Looking around at Jeeves he watched him for a minute before asking, "Oh for heavens sake you have one too?"

"I did tell you I routinely went on safari when I was employed with the royals - "

"Doesn't anyone use their mallets anymore or is it a dying art?" Bugs asked snidely.

"Oh, I know how to use mine, very well," Jeeves interjected. "But if you will notice, it is rather a close quarters weapon. Somehow, I doubt a lion would stand still if asked with his claws sheathed so I could give him a rousing good shot to the noggin."

Buster stayed frozen, hoping no one would spot him or Wakko would wander up from wherever he had disappeared to. Too bad though; he would probably love this conversation. Buster would tell him about it later; he told Inky to stick close. He told him to stay close mostly because he was pretty sure Max and Plucky would be swearing revenge because of the skunk, but he didn't and look - he missed a cool conversation.

He turned back to the exchange; Foghorn was regarding Jeeves with an impressed look as if he was noticing him for the first time.

"A Blunderbuss huh? You like them old - "

"Quite. I possess a pair of dueling pistols that were formerly owned by the Marquess of Northampton - "

"Collectors item, nice. You got any real firepower?" Foghorn asked, looking interested as he leaned forward and the others rolled their eyes.

Buster couldn't figure out why - this was way more interesting than any conversation they could be having.

"A Beretta 92F - "

"Please tell me you have all that stuff locked up with a kid like Max around - "

"No Mister Bugs," Jeeves replied while lounging back against the log and crossing his legs. "I leave them out in the open on the dining room table. If Master Montana is bored I routinely challenge him to shooting competitions, right in the backyard. We find it amusing to watch the neighbors in the district panic and dive for cover when the shots echo - "

"OK, OK doc, no need to get snippy," Bugs griped while Yakko and Mr. Bunny laughed.

Buster managed to smother his snickers even as he leaned forward more. He couldn't wait to tell Wakko about this.

"Master Montana has no knowledge of them; I have always kept them securely locked up. The Beretta is in a safe under the seat of the rental, the Walter PPF is securely on me at all times."

"Where are you hiding it?" Buster heard his father ask.

"And why?" Bugs asked. "Sorry doc, but there's no lions out here."

"It is in a secure position I do not wish to divulge," Jeeves said in a snobbish tone. "And I am a servant in the Max family employ; part of my job is to protect the most valuable asset the Max family possesses - Master Montana."

"Wouldn't know it the way they refuse to spend any time with him," Dad muttered.

"Well then, if you wish, as far as I can determine Master Montana is the most valuable asset the Max family possess," Jeeves said simply. "And I will use any means I need to protect him. I have never had to use it but the tool is available to me should the need arise."

_Man._

Buster shook his head. Jeeves was willing to kill somebody to protect Max and all he did was give his butler hell. He was tempted to tell Max this too, just to make the billionaire boob appreciate the guy a little more. If he ever spoke to Max again other than to tell him to screw off he might share the information with him.

"As fascinating as this conversation is, you'll have to excuse me for a moment," Dad said. "I have to visit the little boy's room."

_Damn._

Buster slunk lower in the bush; if his father stood and changed angles he would spot him. That would be bad - this was definitely a conversation he was not supposed to know about.

Besides, he wanted to find Wakko. This was too good not to share.

He slowly and carefully began to slink away, hearing Foghorn and Jeeves discussing the best gun safes; Jeeves used a combination lock, Foghorn had some sort of fancy safe that required putting his hand on it and moving his fingers in some sort of set pattern.

Before he totally got out of range though, he heard Foghorn say he was a member of the Beverly Hills Shooting Club and Jeeves should come out and shoot against him. Jeeves replied that while he was as well he rarely went simply because he was too busy with Master Montana. In all though it sounded like a 'capital idea' - the wager would be something besides doing the dishes.

_Whatever._

Buster hurried through the brush like he was being chased by a rabid fox, heading towards the lake. The last time he had seen Wakko the boy had been heading in that direction.

Almost stumbling, he began to jog, his footsteps silent over the dead leaves and twigs on the path.

Not paying attention to the ground in front of him, he felt his foot hit a twig and he went forward.

Bracing for impact, he began to Chuck. After a few seconds he was surprised when his face didn't smash against a rock but was surprised at a tugging on his ears, pulling him upwards off the ground.

_Shit!_

Fearing he was being dragged upwards by a hawk intent on taking him to his nest he yelped while kicking out with his feet.

He would never get to call Babs and tell her how much he liked her or -

Hearing an 'uffff' and 'watch it mister', Buster instantly felt his fear relax to be replaced with another feeling.

Dread.

_Dad._

_Shit, shit, shit._

"Um…hi Dad."

_When the hell did he get so fast? And so quiet?_

"Yeah, hi Buster." Holding Buster higher off the ground so that his feet dangled he asked, "What are you doing?"

"Um…going to…uh…find Wakko."

"Really?" Contemplating his son he asked, "And what are you two going to do I wonder?"

Any other time Buster could have come up with a million believable answers that would have been questioned by no one. Now though he felt his throat drying up. He couldn't think of anything and saying 'oh, I want to tell him what you guys were talking about' didn't seem like the best response.

Buster chose to stay silent. It sometimes got him out of a lot of trouble.

"I asked you a question Buster."

And sometimes, it got him in a lot of trouble.

After his father gave him a firm shake, Buster decided that silence was overrated and said the first thing that came to mind.

"I…wanted to…uh…talk to him about…Max - "

"I think you two have talked about Max enough for one weekend," Dad said, setting Buster on the ground. "Let's take a walk for a few minutes and have a chat."

Walks - especially when requested that way - were never good.

"I saw you in the bushes."

Buster closed his eyes at his father's words. He was dead.

"I told you not to run around and spy on people - "

"I wasn't spying Dad!" Insistently, Buster began to ramble. "I just wanted to come see you and see if you wanted to take a walk - "

"Buster…"

" - because it was our last night out here and - "

"Buster…"

" - I missed you and then everyone was talking about guns which was kinda cool - "

"Hey All Star…"

" - and before I knew it I was listening and I didn't know Max had a private body guard and please don't kill me!" Buster finished off breathlessly. "I swear I wasn't trying to spy on you!"

At least Dad had given him time to say his peace before offing him.

"Calm down," Dad said, putting his arm around him. "I don't intend on killing you - I have a vested interest in you. If I kill you now who will take care of me in my old age?"

"Don't kill me and I'll find the nicest nursing home ever!" Buster promised, ignoring the way his voice was jumping around. This was no time for worrying about his pride - his life was on the line. He wondered if he should get down on his knees and beg.

"Thanks," his father drawled, giving a tug on his ears. "But what you heard…" Sighing, he said, "That's not to be repeated. To anyone, ever."

_Damn, not even to Wakko?_

"Sometimes, you hear something, or see something, and you have to decide if it's worth repeating. I think you are old enough - and mature enough - to understand, right?"

"Um…yeah Dad."

_Repeat it and die._

"It's Jeeves tool for his job, nothing more. Sort of like me and my notebooks - it's how I do my job."

"Uh, right Dad, though I doubt you would be able to do the same thing with the spiral on your notebook - "

"Then think about it this way Buster," Dad sighed. "I know you and Max are at each other's throats right now, but you know him pretty well."

_I thought I did._

"He's reckless enough as it is - do you really want to see him get hurt? Or Wakko - I like Wakko too, but you have to admit that sometimes he's distracted by shiny objects. What would they be likely to do if they ever found out about…what you know about?"

_Skirting around the issue again._

After an uncomfortable few seconds Buster finally admitted quietly, "Hunt said shiny object up and kill themselves."

"Possibly." Shrugging, Dad said, "Or maybe not, maybe they would surprise everyone. But do you want to take the chance? Could you live with it if something happened to either of them?"

Buster shook his head no. It wasn't worth it, not to give him and Wakko something to talk about for five minutes or something to hold over Max's head. He might want to pound Max's head in sometimes, but he didn't want to see the moron blow it off.

"Like I said, you actually know something extremely important - and extremely secretive." Nodding his head towards the campsite down the path he added, "I'm sure Jeeves wouldn't like you knowing; Foghorn either - I'm sure they'd actually be mad."

Buster closed his eyes. He liked both men; he knew Foghorn a bit better just from being on the set or around Wakko, but he liked Jeeves well enough. And he didn't want two men with rather large arsenals pissed at him.

"I didn't say anything of course," Dad said, tightened his arm around Buster's shoulders with a gentle squeeze. "Like I said, I think you're old enough and mature enough to keep it a secret."

"I will Dad, promise."

"I trust you."

Buster inhaled, quite happy.

His father trusted him - he had never not trusted him, but he liked hearing the words.

"Tomorrow we head back," Dad said, looking out towards the woods. "Have a good time?"

"Um…" Buster heard his voice crack and sighed before saying, "Yeah, mostly." Hugging his father around his waist he muttered, "The best part was hanging out with you."

He stood holding onto his father for a few minutes, wondering if he should pull his book out of his pocket.

Dad trusted him to keep a big secret regarding two of his friends - he was almost certain that Dad wouldn't laugh at him now. Maybe he wouldn't like any of the stories, but he bet -

"Buster!"

Buster sighed and pulled away from his father who reluctantly let him go. Buster didn't want to, but he didn't want to be seen hugging his father like some scared kid.

"Buster! Come on! Buster!"

Buster heard 'stupid blue bunny' and sighed again. Wakko had rotten timing.

"Better go see what he needs," Dad chuckled, ruffling Buster's hair for a minute. "Remember what I said though - some things don't need to be discussed. With anyone."

"Right Dad."

"Sort of like wild skunks popping out of buckets," Dad added to his turned back. "I didn't see a need to discuss that. This is one of those types of situations."

_Understood loud and clear._

Nodding, Buster quickly ran towards the sound of Wakko's voice.

"Bus-, oh, there you are."

"Yeah, I'm here what do you want?" Buster said, trying to keep the grouchiness out of his voice.

From the look on Wakko's face he could tell he failed.

"Hey! I wanted to show you something at the lake!" Wakko said excitedly. Grabbing Buster's shirt and starting to drag him down the path he said, "And when I was coming up here Max popped out and said he wanted to fight and Plucky did too and we needed to meet them where the paths crossed come on!"

Buster listened to Wakko scream that at him, sounding like he hadn't even bothered to breath and shook his head.

"Come on - "

"Hold on Wakko," Buster said, trying to wretch his shirt out of Wakko's fist. "I don't want to fight!"

"But it's a challenge!" Wakko whined. "We can't back down from a challenge!"

_Yeah. Dad's right. Wakko is not mature enough to know about this. And neither is Max._

He stood slightly taller though; he was. Even if it was just in his own mind, he felt quite a bit better, knowing the secret. These two were still so mad at each other if they had a hint there was something stronger than a rubber band around they were going to use it to kill each other.

Buster pushed it from his mind. Dad was right - it was a tool Jeeves could use if he needed to. Foghorn mainly used it for fun shooting targets. Not worth dwelling over.

Besides, something sounded suspicious. All of a sudden Max and Plucky who were busy being so secretive were issuing requests for a showdown? On the last night?

It didn't make sense.

So much for hoping they could all apologize and make up anytime soon.

"I thought we were going to apologize again - "

Wakko waved him off before beginning to babble about how he tried but Max wasn't being reasonable and Plucky was talking crap about him and his voice and Babs and everything else.

Hearing that, Buster shrugged before falling into step beside Wakko. If those two wanted to throw a few punches - after talking shit about someone who wasn't even there to defend herself - he was game. And if they had chosen an out of the way place for this showdown that the adults wouldn't find out about, even better.

He wished he could get rid of the nagging little feeling he had, that somehow this was going to backfire horribly and him and Wakko were about to get their asses handed to them.

_End Chapter 6_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Boundaries

_Come on you little shits, keep coming…_

Snickering, Montana shifted slightly, trying to take pressure off his heels as he squatted uncomfortably in the underbrush while clutching his length of rope. He had dirt under his nails again, a pebble was digging into the bottom of his left foot and he had a pair of scraped knees but at the moment he couldn't be happier.

He glanced down at the rope for a moment before looking up, spying Plucky across the path and hidden so far down in a bush he could barely make out the duck's eyes. Being green, Plucky did manage to blend in well with the foliage.

And damned if the duck didn't improve on his plans - Montana had the vision, but Plucky had the drive and skills to get it going. Their enemies were gonna swing from the forest canopy like a couple of overly exited monkeys.

Looking from Plucky, Montana let his gaze fall on the leaves they had scattered along the path, hiding the ropes. Hopefully Buster or Wakko weren't sharp enough to spot the hidden ropes, but with Buster being a rabbit it was hard to say. Montana guessed he had hidden them well enough.

He had worked long and hard on hiding both the ropes on the ground and trailing them up along the tree branches and back down to his and Plucky's waiting hands. If it went as planned it was going to be a great prank, top of his list as far as it goes. Hell, it even topped the 'skunk in a bucket' trick and that had honestly been pretty damn good.

Pressing a hand to his mouth to stifle his snickering, he watched as Wakko and Buster rounded the top of the path. Those two idiots probably would not even remember that this is almost the exact same spot they had set him and Plucky up with their little gift. Hopefully they also wouldn't notice the bent saplings they would soon be going for a little ride on.

Glancing across the path again he saw Plucky sign at him to pay attention. Montana rolled his eyes but nodded - he knew quite well if their aim was off they would miss their targets. The mission would have to be aborted - it wouldn't be all bad, he could still punch Wakko in the mouth but he would prefer not to use his fists on the Mime. Pranks were no doubt preferable to fists.

He wished it hadn't come to this. If Wakko had just backed off or tried to apologize...A real apology, not the stupid apologies he tried to give before, Montana would have listened.

Oh, and not set a wild fucking animal on him. That would definitely have helped.

Montana turned his head slightly, watching as his prey neared his trap.

" - and Max said right here - "

"Seems too convenient Wak - just out of the blue they want to fight? I mean Plucky?"

Montana heard Buster give a derisive snort and tightened his grip while looking across at Plucky. The duck had his eyes narrowed but seemed focused on the task at hand.

" - Plucky isn't a big fighter. Max maybe - the Mongoloid has some muscles. But Plucky mostly runs his mouth! I mean he's about as threatening as Hampton - "

Montana waved once at Plucky before signing for him to stay down - he would get his revenge momentarily.

"Maybe," Wakko interrupted. "But this is where they said and I want to get this over with. Maybe if I brain Max he'll listen to reason - "

_Listen to reason? You threw a skunk on me!_

Montana mentally raged to himself but managed to choke back the words. He was worried about Plucky blowing their cover and he was about to do it himself.

And they were almost there.

Montana eyed their feet. They only needed to catch one ankle on each of them. Buster was about two steps ahead of Wakko - Plucky would have to pull and Montana would need to immediately follow if they didn't want to give them a hint they had just been caught.

_Five steps out. _

Montana held his free hand up so Plucky could see. He had to get this right.

_Four…Three…Two…_

Montana dropped his hand, watching as Plucky nodded and yanked as hard as he could on his rope. Leaning forward in anticipation, Montana grasped his own rope with both hands and pulled with everything he had, watching as the snares that Plucky had so painstakingly tied finally got their chance to shine.

He watched as Buster screamed 'What the fu - " before he went face first in the dirt, being dragged slightly. A second later he was wailing out a strangled scream of utter terror as the rope released the tree branch and sent him sailing into the air like a light blue bottle rocket.

Less than a millisecond later, Wakko's own startled yelp sounded, and Montana anxiously watched as he also went face first in the dirt like a downed deer before he too was being yanked in the air by one ankle. He went up so quick that Montana briefly lost sight of him in the tree leaves before he bounced back into view, bouncing up and down like a demented yo-yo.

Even his hat flew in the opposite direction, landing in the underbrush near Montana's feet.

_Up up and away…_

Montana almost fell back on his ass laughing, hearing Plucky doing the same thing as Wakko and Buster continued to fly around, hands and feet flailing as they tried to grab themselves, each other, a tree limb, anything as they bobbed up and down, at one point almost making contact with the ground and looking like a pair of deranged marionettes.

_Bloody brilliant. _M_uch better than the skunk fiasco._

Montana was tempted to reach around and pat himself on the back.

"Max you asshole!" Buster screamed as he stopped bobbing up and down and began to spin as the rope started to tangle from the momentum. "A fucking rabbit snare?"

Montana heard Buster's breath coming in short wheezes and managed to look up at the bunny through his own teary eyes while a snort escaped his lips. The rabbit, one hand clutching his chest was still raging as Wakko came to a rest beside him and began to spin around in a dizzying circle.

"Why don't you set a bear trap out for Winnie-The-Pooh you sick bastard!" Buster yowled over Wakko's yells.

Montana watched as the rabbit tried to reach for Wakko to steady himself before he leaned up, straining to reach his ankle.

"I'm gonna puuuuuuuuke!" Wakko wailed as he continued to sway back and forth, arms and legs flailing out and almost looking like he did when he had done that pathetic excuse for a swim.

"Hold on Wak!" Buster shouted before he added, "When I get down I'm gonna - "

"Do nothing," Plucky finished, appearing on the path. "Like usual."

Montana took that as his cue to also appear. Not that they didn't know who did it - neither of them could be that clueless - but unlike them and their stupid hole-filling exercise and the skunk, he and Plucky weren't cowards. They would show themselves.

"Lookie here Monty," Plucky drawled, shooting him a grin before picking up a stick and poking Buster in the stomach. "It's rabbit season."

_Finally._

Montana smirked at the comment. He had been waiting his whole life to hear Plucky say that.

Buster glared at him and made a reach for the stick. He missed and instead grabbed onto Wakko, who was looking ill as he was slowly still spinning like an off kilter dreidel. Wakko was turning so green he almost looked like he could belong to Plucky's family.

"And while we did catch a rabbit, I see we also caught a little shit in our tree," Max said, turning to fully look at Buster and Wakko and enjoying the site of the two dangling upside down before him.

"I can only imagine what hangs upside down in your family tree!" Wakko snapped, looking slightly less green but no less peeved than before.

"We should have doused them both in a Red Rioja Wine Sauce first," Montana lamented. "Make any gourmet bears out there happy - I'm not sure if bears like rabbit dipped in a shit sauce - "

"I'll show you shit!" Wakko hollered, reaching for his Hammerspace.

Montana grinned at his efforts. Dangling upside down, getting ready to hurl, and being that badly startled? The boy was insane. Wakko would be lucky if he could reach into his pocket, let alone his Hammerspace.

"Get us down! Now!" Buster ordered, gritting his teeth and still trying to grab his ankle.

Montana watched; Buster was flexible and athletic. He could reach the rope, but with his entire body weight pulling down on the snare's knot there was no way he could get it loosened. He was stuck.

Plucky laughed again, leaning on Montana for support before Buster turned to him.

"Plucky, you sorry excuse - " Buster inhaled, having to let go of his rope to hang upside down again and catch his breath. "Cut it down - now! This has gone on far enough!" Leaning up again, this time to grab onto Wakko's rope he said, "Move your feathered ass you pea green - "

"This coming from a rabbit the same shade of blue as a urinal cake," Plucky sneered.

"I agree," Montana drawled, watching as Buster stopped Wakko from spinning around in circles again and giving up on untying the knots for a moment. "But he is floating like a urinal cake and he's got a piece of shit beside him - I think the toilet analogies fit!"

Montana barely heard their insults being thrown back because of his own and Plucky's howls of glee.

They had definitely won this round -

Montana cocked his head; he heard something.

Shit? Was it bears? Would they come this close to the camp? Hell, Foghorn always tied their food up in the trees…course Wakko and Buster were up in the trees too. Hell, they were probably the safest ones.

Of course, bears didn't talk, at least the bears out there in the woods. And he would think a bear wouldn't sound like a herd of elephants barreling down the path.

The adults.

Damn. Montana grimaced; they always came at the most inopportune times, spoiling all their fun.

No way he was cutting them down; not only did they not have the time, but it wasn't like Wakko and Buster stuck around and confessed what they had done. And other than having to open some cans, they hadn't really been punished. Montana fully expected a lecture like they got - after all - fair was fair.

But still, a lecture avoided was a lecture he didn't have to listen to.

Signaling to Plucky they both stepped forward with matching sneers on their faces.

Time to leave. But first, a parting shot.

Montana looked fully in Wakko's eyes, hoping the other boy would think twice about screwing with him again. Wakko's dark set bored back into his, looking enraged, terrified and slightly surprised at the same time.

"Time to go Plucky," Montana directed, concentrating and reaching into his Hammerspace. "But since we weren't kind enough to create a special sauce for these two, I say we at least leave dessert - "

"Don't you fucking dare - "

Wakko cut off as Montana slammed a pie into his face.

Chocolate Crème.

Buster's own protests became garbled under Plucky's Key Lime Pie being smashed into his own face.

Montana turned to Plucky and gave him a high five.

"Let's move Duck - we don't want to be caught around here right now," Montana ordered quietly, already dragging Plucky off. Louder he added, "Hope the bears enjoy their little snack."

"Shit, bears?" Plucky hissed as Montana continued to drag him off. "OK - I don't want to see them eaten - "

"Relax dimwit," Montana said, giving him a smack on the head.

Noticing Wakko's hat on the ground he picked it up, putting it in his Hammerspace as a souvenir.

"I wouldn't let them get eaten, not like that," he explained. "I would have salted them if I thought they would have gotten eaten." Seeing Plucky's arched eyebrow Montana said, "You are such a pantywaist. No, the others are coming; probably heard their screams. I just think we should stay out of sight."

As he continued to lead Plucky away he heard the unmistakable sound of Jeeves calling him by his given name and decided that staying out of sight for a good long while might be prudent.

Montana snorted; Jeeves sounded flustered, then annoyed. He would think the man would be happy - he and Plucky had just demonstrated teamwork at its finest.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Isn't this just faboo? Main course on the Bear Buffet._

Wakko lunged upwards again, trying to fight his feelings of nausea and terror and frustration as his fingers, slippery with chocolate crème, managed to touch the rope holding Buster but not grasp it.

He moved his jaw gently, feeling the dirt and grit in his mouth - he would have spit, but his mouth was too dry. He reached up again to grab his own ankle, missed, and shot back downwards, feeling like he just rattled his brain around in his head.

He glanced over, noticing that Buster was having the same problem. The rabbit let loose a few swear words, fumbled at the tight knot around his ankle before dropping back to the upside down position.

Wakko did so as well, feeling the blink rush to his head again and watching the pie filling slowly leak to the ground underneath him in a slow sticky drip.

This definitely hadn't gone as planned. All he wanted to do was hit Max in the mouth and brain him with his mallet. If he brained him with his mallet it might have stunned the other boy long enough to talk to him and reason with him

Wakko blinked - would Max have listened to reason if he brained him? Could he have? Wakko had been hit with a mallet more than once and he knew he wasn't in the mood to listen to reason, mostly because his head was spinning.

Like it was now - he felt like he had ridden a tilt-a-whirl for an hour straight.

He was gonna die. Eleven-years-old, covered in pie, so scared and dizzy he was about to puke and then he was going to be eaten by a bear.

Damn Max.

Wakko fumed to himself as he desperately tried to reach the knot that was keeping him from running down the path in terror.

He had tried to apologize. He had done what Foghorn said and told Plucky he was a faboo swimmer and actually thanked him for winning - none of them had to do the dishes.

Of course the stupid duck had to gloat about it, saying he knew he was the only one that could save them from that fate and they should all be on their knees kissing his feathered ass. He even turned around like he actually expected them to do it!

Then Max of course had to jump in when Buster tried to kick Plucky, throwing the beach ball at him. When Wakko had taken the ball and tried to make Plucky eat it Max had gotten even shittier than normal and threatened to rip Wakko's tail off and shove it down his throat.

Wakko shook his head - if it hadn't been for Mr. Bunny and Jeeves they probably would have started fighting. He thought things had calmed down again - they had all made fun of Yakko for driving even though he hadn't done that bad. They had all been laughing like they used to, then things were sort of quiet at dinner.

The next thing he knew Max had stepped out on the path, followed by Plucky. Surprised, Wakko had drawn his mallet - he didn't fully trust them not to do something else to him. After all, he expected some sort of payback for the skunk.

But this? Hell, he and Buster hadn't tried to kill them! This was really going the extra mile on their parts. He knew Max - and Plucky to a certain degree - could be a bit dark, but this was actually sadistic.

"Fuck!" Inhaling Buster tried again, grunting as he reached up before tiring. Flopping back down to hang upside down, he sent a small cloud of dirt in the air as it wafted off his shirt and jacket. "We've got to get - "

"I know! I know!" Wakko said, making a concentrated effort to keep the panic and fear out of his voice. "I can't reach the knot - "

"God damn them," Buster hissed. "I can't believe they left us - "

"To bears I know!" Wakko said, hearing a twinge of worry creep into his own voice. "Hopefully the rope will disappear - "

"Moron!" Buster said, smacking him.

Wakko felt himself twisting around in a circle again and tried to swallow his nausea. His constant twirling was spinning all the dirt and leaves that were stuck to his fur off, but it wasn't helping his dizziness any.

"They wouldn't have Fritzed the rope!"

Mad at the situation and the fact Buster just sent him into a spin again, Wakko smacked Buster, watching the rabbit turn and send dust flying everywhere.

"Like I know!"

"I know you should have listened to me! I told you this was a trap! But no you couldn't listen you just had - "

Buster looked like he was going to say more but fell silent, eyes wide and ears twisted upwards painfully to listen.

Wakko followed suit. Craning his head around to watch, he felt his own eyes widen as he and Buster clutched each other.

They were dead. Whatever was coming was big, loud, and -

"Oh for the love of…can you - I say - can you four do anything besides attack each other?"

- looking somewhat annoyed and kinda amused.

But mostly, just loud.

Panting and holding his mallet, Foghorn skidded to a stop on the path in front of them, almost slipping in some loose leaves covered in pie filling.

"Oh God I hope that's chocolate," Foghorn muttered in a disgusted tone under his breath, looking at Wakko before looking at the bottom of his foot, the side of his beak curling up in a sneer.

Less than ten steps behind him was Yakko, clutching his own mallet. Jeeves, Mr. Bunny and Bugs were hurrying from various areas, surrounding them like a conquering army with looks ranging from taken aback to euphoric to highly amused.

Wakko sighed - this was extremely embarrassing and he would hear crap about it forever, but not from Yakko. Big brother would save the day…right? There was no way he would…

Wakko sighed. Shoulda known.

One look at Wakko and Buster dangling a few feet over the path did it for him. Yakko cocked his head for a moment and pursed his lips, looking confused as he took a few steps closer to get a better look.

Wakko fumed; his arms straight and fists balled as he watched his savior. Yakko did manage to get closer, but it was mostly at a hobble since he was bent over shrieking in laughter. He was actually in such a fit of laughter that he dropped his mallet on his foot.

Wakko glared at him as Yakko limped up, alternating between laughing and wincing as his sore toes touched the ground. Instead of laughing he would think Yakko would race to his rescue and help cut him down. If he didn't get down soon he was going to throw up.

"Hold still boy," Foghorn rumbled authoritatively while putting his own mallet away. "Gotta check for broken bones - "

"Nothing's broken!" Wakko insisted while trying to grasp onto Foghorn. "Just get me down!"

Wakko managed to look around the rooster's body as Mr. Bunny was quickly checking his own son out. Yakko was at least upright again, though the smirk on his face told Wakko he was far from safe. Yakko didn't seem mad but very very amused - Wakko sighed. Yakko was gonna laugh about this forever.

Directly beside him was Jeeves and Bugs; the butler regarding them with wide eyes, the rabbit already looking over his shoulder for other hidden traps.

"Are they injured?"

"Nah Jeeves, just their pride," Mr. Bunny said.

"Dad - "

"Quiet Buster or I'll leave you there."

Buster went silent, sending a glare at Wakko who shrugged. It wasn't like he expected this to happen.

"Can't believe you four," Bugs said in a mutter. "Snares…what did I do huh? And where did they learn to tie them? And why me?" Looking wildly around he added, "Or maybe it's all of us."

"Relax Mister Bugs; two of them are swinging in the tree, the other two are no doubt hiding and trying to come up with a better alibi than 'I do not know'," Jeeves said, looking up into the trees as his eyes followed the rope up through the branches. "Though I will say if nothing else Master Montana and Master Plucky do understand the benefit of teamwork," Jeeves said dryly. "Dangerous, but damned creative."

"I'll give em that," Foghorn agreed, looking up to study Wakko's ankle. "Boys tied a good snare. Managed to tree themselves a couple of skunks" -

"Skunks! Chairs! Snares!" Bugs gasped in a horrified manner.

"Rope looks real familiar," Foghorn lamented, shaking his head. "Might as well gift it to the boys - think they've used it more this weekend than I've ever used it and I've owned it five years.

Bugs shuddered before turning to Mr. Bunny, who seemed to be finding his son's predicament hysterical now that he knew he wasn't hurt. "Snares? That's it! I'm leaving for the city. These kids are demented!"

"Bugs…" Buster whined, trying to reach out for him as his father began to saw at the rope with a knife. "Please - "

"No, this is it!" Bugs yelled as the other adults laughed. "No more - I'm staying away from all you little monsters! Talking to you is like trying to talk with an insane - "

"Bugs, calm down," Mr. Bunny said. "Their prank war went too far. I'm not happy either, they could have been really hurt but they aren't. The other two probably didn't think - "

"No! All they do is think and scheme and plot! They won't stop until they get me!" Bugs fumed, stomping around in a circle before wringing his hands like a trapped maiden, his ears falling down behind his head as he looked behind him worriedly.

"No one wants to get you!" Wakko said loudly, trying to grab for his brother or Foghorn, anything to make the ground stop moving. He missed and moaned pitifully, "Make the world stop spinning I wanna get off now!"

"Hush boy - stop moving and the world will stop spinning. You four don't stop this nonsense you're gonna take each other out of the world."

" - and no sir, they're not gonna get this little grey bunny," Bugs continued, tapping on his chest and seemingly oblivious to the fact that once again, no one was paying any attention to him. "And since they haven't gotten me lately now they're testing their stunts out on each other! They're gonna kill us all!"

"I shall hunt the other two miscreants up," Jeeves said.

"Hunt them up! I say tie them up! Restrain them before something worse happens!" Bugs said. Turning from glaring at Buster who was cowering under his father's withering glare Bugs began tugging insistently at Jeeves' shirt. "Give no quarter! They're crazy! We should have put them in cages. Yosemite isn't this crazy!"

"Indeed," Jeeves said, managing to pry his shirt free of Bugs' hands before walking off through the woods, calling for Plucky and 'Montana'.

Bugs went back to turning around in a circle, jumping at every sound and wringing his hands like an old lady while mumbling.

Wakko heard Bugs continuing but didn't pay any further attention to him.

He was being pushed gently on his chest, the movement causing him to sway back and forth like a ribbon in the breeze.

And only one person would find that amusing.

"Ha ha Yakko." Seeing Yakko's expression Wakko fumed, "This isn't funny Yakko! I could have been killed!"

"Oh, I'm not that lucky," Yakko drawled. "I love this though!" He enthused, giving Wakko another gentle push on his chest. "I think I'll tie a couple bells to your ears - you'd make a fantastic wind chime! I could just tie you to the railing at the tower…at least I would always know where you're at - "

"Yakko! Stop!" Wakko begged, hoping some good old fashioned pleading and begging would garner some sympathy. After all, he had had a hard evening. "Get me down! Come on big brother please - "

"Nah, I'm gonna leave you up there for a bit - "

"I say leave them both up," Foghorn said, turning as Buster was finally freed, being saved from plummeting to the ground by his father. Taking the proffered knife Foghorn grunted, "Tie all four of them up - I say - tie all four of them up in the trees. We can get some sleep, they'll hopefully be out of range of the bears."

_Hopefully?_

Wakko shuddered.

"Night out in the woods like this with the blink rushing to their heads might knock some sense into them."

Wakko crossed his arms as he felt a scowl come over his face while Yakko continued to laugh and gently push on him, causing him to sway back and forth like a pendulum. The look Yakko was wearing told him he wasn't going to hear the end of this for a long time.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Montana!"

_Damn it._

"Montana! Plucky! Come out immediately!"

_Yeah right._

"Final warning. The longer I wait the worse punishment that will befall you Montana."

_And with those words, I am outta here._

Hearing the tone of Jeeves' voice, Montana hurried up the path, hoping that they could stay out of the butler's sights a while longer. Jeeves' tone had had the same manner it usually did when he was getting ready to come down hard on his ass.

He casually wondered what it would be this time. He had obviously underestimated how annoyed Jeeves would be at him slinging his former friends in the air. He expected a lecture, not an actual declaration of 'punishment'.

Montana quickly went down the list of possible chores or other unpleasant things that could befall him. The butler was damn creative.

He had spanked him a few times; not terribly creative but wholly unpleasant and Montana strived to avoid that at every opportunity. He was also positive he had not angered Jeeves quite that much so he immediately scratched it off the list.

Jeeves might make him read another one of his books. Montana snorted; Jeeves had gotten into that punishment phase awhile ago, making him sit down and read what was supposed to be a very long and dry book, 'The Lord of the Rings'. He had never told the butler, but he liked the book. So much so that he had secretly bought the others in the series and was currently working his way through them with minimal difficulties.

Jeeves had assigned other supposedly boring books over time, believing he was improving Montana's mind while punishing him for some misdeed.

Montana nodded - a very acceptable punishment. He had actually liked most of the books Jeeves assigned. He hoped the butler never caught on or he would actually be in real trouble. He might assign him to read a Star Wars book instead - that would be a punishment.

Jeeves would ground him more often than not, the time ranging from several hours to an entire week. That usually sucked. He had learned long ago not to whine too much about that one; if he whined Jeeves usually acted like he was bored and needed something to do. Last time he whined he had to sit and help Jeeves as he typed up the monthly expense report for the household.

He wrinkled his nose. Learning experiences; how he loathed them.

Then he groaned to himself, remembering another punishment that Jeeves had in his repertoire he loved to pull out whether he was grounded or not.

One of Jeeves' favorite penalties for him was to make him polish the silverware.

Montana grimaced; he hated doing that. It stunk, it was boring, and made his fingers hurt. He never figured how Jeeves managed to bill it as a 'learning experience' or 'character building'. All he learned was that it sucked and whoever the hell had to do it when he was not required to could never be paid enough for their efforts.

There was no silverware to polish out in the woods which might mean he may escape with a lecture. Or worse, Jeeves just might wait until they arrived home and he would declare that his punishment then.

Montana didn't want that; not only did his family have entirely too much silverware he wanted to forget this nightmare of a trip as soon as they dropped the rental car off.

Besides, he wanted to call Mary. The telephone was usually off limits if he got in some sort of trouble.

But, he couldn't be in trouble if Jeeves couldn't find him.

"Move Duck - "

"Oh man we're in a world of shit!" Plucky hissed as he followed him down the trail. Looking behind his shoulder he asked, "Do you think they got eaten?"

"Don't be absurd!" Montana snapped, grabbing his friend's arm to speed him up. "We would have heard the bears sicking up on the trail by now!"

Leading Plucky off the path, Montana ran through the brush, hoping they could lose Jeeves. He was damned tricky -

"Master Montana. Master Plucky."

- and right in front of them.

Damn.

Montana slowed as the butler stepped out in front of them. Plucky crashed into his back and sent both of them falling to the pine needle covered dirt directly in front of Jeeves.

Miserable mallard.

"Ah, there you are. And here I was afraid you had gone out of earshot - like I asked you not to do."

Montana stood, brushing pine needles out of his hair and trying to act like they were simply out for an innocent stroll. No need to give himself and Plucky away. He glanced at Plucky, wondering if he should muzzle the duck. He tended to give them away without even trying.

"Well, now you found us and we are safe and sound. Did you need something?" Montana asked, trying to stay polite sounding even as he wanted to tell Plucky to make a dash for cover.

"A vacation," Jeeves said just as politely. "But baring that, I need to escort you two ruffians back to camp - your presence is required at a meeting."

"Whatever for?" Ignoring Plucky's low moan Montana added, "We've done nothing wrong."

"Not that I said you had…yet."

_Damn it. _

He really had to learn to keep his mouth shut. He saw Plucky give him a withering look and shrugged; perhaps he should have muzzled himself.

Grasping Montana's right arm and Plucky's left, Jeeves ordered, "March gentlemen."

Trying to pull away Montana demanded, "Let me go Jeeves, I know the way - "

"I am highly disappointed in both of you," Jeeves said as he began to march them back through the bushes.

Montana rolled his eyes.

_Here it comes. The 'A Proper Young Gentleman does not blah blah blah' lecture._

"You Master Plucky - "

"We didn't do anything Jeeves," Montana said before Jeeves cut him off.

"Please Master Montana, do not insult my intelligence." Pulling them back onto the path Jeeves added, "Master Plucky, myself and Mister Foghorn both offered to allow you to come with us on this trip since you had no one else. I expected a certain amount of rambunctiousness but not at this level. Not only have you engaged in these shenanigans with the other hoodlums, I am quite aware that the snares were no doubt tied by you, as was the trip wire."

Montana watched as Plucky wilted under Jeeves lecture and glare like a head of lettuce left in the sun too long.

" - good work but both could have been seriously injured - "

"I didn't mean for - "

"You may not have meant anything, but what if we had not heard their yells? Or you misjudged what would have happened to them, ripping a leg out of socket?"

Plucky looked slightly sick at that though and Montana started - he had never thought about it. Then again he was woefully under informed about snares.

" - and you have unlimited potential, I have said so since the first day I met you and I expected great things from your skills. I'm disappointed you would use your talents in such a negative and mean spirited manner."

"Sorry," Plucky muttered, looking uncomfortable as he stared at the ground.

_Ugh. Guilt trip. Nice Jeeves. _

With the way Plucky craved adoration and attention, this little lecture would drive the duck into a fit of depression even a highly trained child psychologist would be unable to cure.

Montana glared at Jeeves - Plucky didn't get much praise for his non-acting skills at home; the butler knew that. And he knew Plucky liked Jeeves - chastising him like that was cruel.

_And not his job. At least when he jumps on me he is getting paid for it…_

"Neither of us did anything!" Montana shouted again, growing annoyed while trying to pull his arm away from Jeeves' grasp as he continued to lecture Plucky.

"I have asked you not to insult my intelligence Montana," Jeeves said firmly. "You I am more disappointed in - "

"What the hell did I do?"

" - simply because I know you were taught better," Jeeves continued, ignoring Montana. "Rather than let this go and speak about it like a rational person you continued on with this prank war, endangering two of your friends - "

"No one was endangered," Montana insisted as he was pulled along the path. "Once again you carry things on too far - "

"I find the notion of you accusing someone of carrying something on too far to be rather comical," Jeeves snapped. "If you had stopped behaving like a four-year-old prior to all this - "

"If you had not dragged me out into the damn woods - "

" - I doubt your friends would have wanted to retaliate - "

"They are not my friends!"

" - and things would not have progressed to this level, potentially causing lasting damage to two strong friendships. You know very well how to behave - especially if someone invites you somewhere - and yet you are acting like a wild man - "

"You drag me out into the woods, you get wild behavior," Montana said, sounding snippy to his own ears. "Take me back to civilization and perhaps I would remember how to behave up to your standards."

"Um…Jeeves? Monty?"

"Quiet Plucky," Montana ordered, momentarily forgetting the duck as his argument with Jeeves began to heat up.

"We have one more night out here Montana. We will meet with the others and try to discuss this entire war you four seem to be having - "

"It is none of their business anymore than it is yours Jeeves."

"It has gotten out of control at this point. Since you four will not discuss things in a civilized fashion, I am afraid it is not only my business, but I will have to insist you - "

"You don't get the option of insisting on anything Jeeves!" Montana said, finally planting his feet in the ground and surprising Jeeves enough he halted his march back to camp and let go of his arm.

"Excuse me - "

"To use a rather cliché line Jeeves, you are not my father," Montana said in the same tone he would have used to explain something to a very simple child. "And as such - "

"Max! Shut up!" Plucky hissed, looking horrified as he stood frozen beside Jeeves.

" - you do not get the option of insisting I do a damn thing…Oh stop gaping at me Plucky and close your bill. You look like you are trying to catch flies in that thing."

Plucky's bill closed with a sharp snapping sound though his eyes continued to bug out of his head like he had just seen a Martian land in the grass behind them.

"No, I am not your father," Jeeves countered. "I believe he is in England at the moment - and your mother is in Italy at her ancestral home."

_Like usual._

"And I wish I was with them for once; at least I would not be stuck out here in the middle of nowhere with you."

Spinning him around to look directly in his face Jeeves said snidely, "And I am sure they both would be delighted to have you with them since they have gone out of their way for years to show you they are interested in your well being. Why, they both obviously care so much about you that they passed you off to the butler to raise."

Montana barely heard Plucky's shocked intake of breath, mostly because his own was so loud.

How dare he? It hurt to hear, but the butler wasn't wrong.

Tacky as hell to point it out though.

"I did not have to come out here myself Montana, I was trying - "

"Back off Jeeves, I am sure you get paid quite handsomely for all this extra nonsense." Montana growled, crossing his arms. "I have been patient and lenient to the point I - "

"I am thinking I have been far too lenient with you!" Jeeves said, his normally reserved manner disappearing to be replaced with a few looks Montana rarely saw on the man.

Anger. Hurt. Annoyance. Shock. Disappointment.

Montana ignored them, pushing down a sharp stabbing feeling of guilt. He instead focused on keeping his back straight and standing his ground.

This had been coming for awhile; it was better to get it all in the open. Angered, frustrated and hurt himself, he hoped if he simply told the man how things were and how he was viewing them Jeeves would take him home and maybe get off his ass for a bit.

He just planned on threatening him…nothing more.

_Jeeves stays on your ass because he cares…_

_Or because it is his job._

_But do most people's jobs include taking their _employer's_ offspring camping? Or dealing with their constant problems and illnesses, spending twenty-four hours a day in the role of pseudo-parent…_

"How dare you speak to me that way!" Jeeves demanded, his eyes furrowed as he crossed his arms, matching Montana's stance. "I have never once treated you as a 'job'! Of all the rude, ungrateful, wise assed things to come out of your mouth that - "

Montana instantly uncrossed his arms; unintentionally he had picked up the mannerism from Jeeves. He just never noticed it until now.

"I dare because I am your employer - "

"Not this again!" Jeeves sighed angrily. "I confess I am confused as to where this attitude has come from lately. Is it puberty? Have you been tasting things in the wine cellar? Or have I done some great wrong to you that I am unaware of?"

"Great wrong?" Montana laughed, disliking the cruel way it came out.

What the hell was he doing? He never acted like this - yes - he frequently was a smart ass to the butler, but Jeeves could handle it and dish out twice as much to him. Hell, they both enjoyed the word play they threw at each other.

Than again, he was never this rude or intentionally insulting to the man before…

Montana made a concentrated effort to hold his tongue, just breath for a moment before he said something he really regretted. Jeeves had told him before he really needed to think before he spoke sometimes.

He tried, but the words were tumbling out of his mouth before he could even stop them.

"You dragged me out into the wild blue yonder here for reasons I still confess I do not understand, you refuse to leave me alone or take me back home! I said I do not like it, I said I do not want to spend another minute out here with you, and I said I have no intention of dealing with those other assholes down the path - "

"Dealing with you is like suffering with a particularly nasty paper cut," Jeeves said, narrowing his eyes as he glared down at Montana. "You are as shallow as one and just as painful to deal with. I 'dragged you out here' as you put it because I thought you would enjoy yourself and you could experience something new! I have always encouraged you to take advantage of every opportunity that befalls you - "

_Oh God no, not this lecture, not again. I will not stand for it._

"You know what Jeeves," Montana said, standing on his toes so he could get closer to the man's face. "I'm tired of this and I've put up with enough from you - "

"From me?"

" - but you're overstepping your boundaries," Montana spit out at him, crossing his arms again for lack of anything else to do with them. "You are the servant; I am your paycheck. Stop trying to be something you are not."

"I think you can rest assured I will be doing just that."

Montana studied Jeeves' face for a moment; he showed no signs of…anything. No anger, no frustration, no…nothing. Store mannequins had more life to them.

Feeling like he was losing the argument and he was just grasping at straws Montana ranted in a quiet mutter, "You drag me out here, barely get a decent vehicle, take the one damn means of entertaining ourselves we had after yelling at us, laugh at me, toss me in the river…"

He trailed off, most of his angry tangent spent and waited for Jeeves to tell him to be silent and how this would be the usual 'learning experience' and it would be good for him.

"Oh forget it," Montana snapped louder, mostly to himself. When he received no response from Jeeves and Plucky was looking at him in a mix of shock and anger he added, "I demand to go home, now. Require me to stay out here another fucking minute and I swear I shall call my father - interested in me or not - and demand he replace you!"

Jeeves reeled backwards slightly like Montana had slapped him with a gauntlet before straightening his spine like a challenged duelist.

"Master Plucky. Will you excuse us please?" Jeeves asked quietly, never taking his eyes from Montana's face.

"Um…Look, maybe you guys should just calm - "

"Now Plucky!" Jeeves snapped. Clearing his throat after seeing the duck jump he added in a calmer tone, "My apologies. I need to speak with my employer alone - "

_Employer? _

_Funny Jeeves, who's being a wise ass now?_

" - and I believe Master Yakko and Mister Foghorn are further down the path. They will escort you to the campsite safely."

Confused and looking worried and upset, Plucky hesitated. After a few seconds of being ignored by both Jeeves and Montana the duck quickly made his way up the path, disappearing from view after a few moments.

Montana nodded - Plucky was sensitive at times. It was better he not witness this.

"That was simply brilliant Jeeves," Montana drawled. "Very amusing. Employer -

"I was not saying it to be amusing Mister Max," Jeeves said stiffly.

_Mister Max?_

"Oh, and exactly what you call my father, even better," Montana snapped but feeling a sense of foreboding about the way the conversation was beginning to turn. "Same intonation, same ramrod straight posture, totally lacking emotion…bravo."

"I am pleased that is what you wished for Mister Max," Jeeves answered in the same haughty tone. "If only I had known all those years ago when I was teaching you your numbers and letters that all you really needed was someone to make your bed and chauffer you about town. You certainly did not need me - I can see now I was simply getting in your way."

_What?_

"I suppose I was simply making more of my job than there really was. I can see I shall soon have more free time than I ever dreamed." Shrugging his shoulders while keeping the same stiff posture he added, "And all these years I had been trying to actually fill a void I was not hired for or even needed to fill. How very silly of me."

"Don't bullshit me Jeeves," Montana said, hearing a hint of worry creep into his voice. He struggled to keep his normal tone, remembering he was angry with Jeeves, especially since he was screwing with him. "I am well aware that you were hired to play caretaker to me."

"Actually Mister Max, if you wish to read my employment contract, you will see that raising you or engaging in any activities with you beyond tutoring and basic care was outside the scope of my employment."

_Damned longwinded Brit._

"Meaning?" Montana snapped, tapping his foot in annoyance while beginning to wish he would call him by his usual name. Even just his given name like he did when he was in trouble.

'Mister Max' sounded…odd. Wrong. Not him.

Montana usually associated 'Mister Max' with his father, the selfish, arrogant absent man who kept his distance from his home and his offspring. The man that would stop by occasionally, mostly to see that his American house was being cared for and see to any business that had cropped up in his absence. If he wasn't too busy he would randomly check and make sure his heir and namesake was still alive.

The same man who usually greeted him as a stranger in his home; he tended to greet Jeeves with slightly more warmth than Montana and that wasn't saying much since he viewed the butler as being from a lower social class.

The man who supposedly sent him Christmas and birthday gifts, but Montana had figured out a few years ago his father just had Jeeves take extra money out of the household accounts to purchase a present for him and put his name on it. He hadn't been real surprised about that; he knew his father probably didn't know how old he was. It hurt, but it was a fact.

At least Jeeves actually knew him. He got something he actually wanted.

"Meaning Mister Max that this," Jeeves gestured around him before pointing back towards Montana. "Everything really, is well outside the scope of my employment. Dealing with you, every illness or injury, every time I took you somewhere, our eating together, almost every time I talk to you is something I do not get paid for."

_Um…_

_Uh…_

_Oh shit…_

Drawing himself to his full height and having an insulted tone to his voice Jeeves added, "I never once looked at you as a paycheck simply because I never once thought about you as a paycheck."

"I - "

"But things will change immediately, you have my word on it Mister Max - "

"Look, stop calling me that - "

"Despite your age, you are my employer," Jeeves said in a flat tone. "It is only fitting that your title be changed."

"Jeeves, I didn't mean to - "

"Here you are sir," Jeeves said, putting a heavy accent on the word 'sir' while reaching in his pocket and extracting a small item. "I believe this is one of your many complaints that may now be put to rest."

Montana reluctantly looked, seeing the fuse from the rental vehicle in his hand. He had not really wanted it back, not really. He honestly did not think Jeeves would get so…wounded…

Swallowing, Montana took a step backwards, surprised and more than a little ashamed. He had hurt the man, deeply, mostly because in his own ignorance and anger and frustration with the situation and with his former friends he had lashed out at the one person who no matter what was always there for him.

Every time one of the kids had picked on him, calling him ugly or fat, Jeeves had been there to comfort him and tell him that one day he would shed the baby fat. Soon after that Jeeves had started getting more physical with him; running around playing games, swimming, teaching him some self-defense in case he ever needed it, encouraging him to try different sports until he had hit upon fencing, something the butler had whole-heartedly approved of.

He made his first friend because of Jeeves, and if it hadn't been for the butler he would not only have been incapable of keeping that friendship, but he would have failed to build any more. Jeeves had said on more than one occasion it was impossible to keep friends if he was incapable of being one himself.

When Plucky had been pestering him to try out for 'Tiny Toons' as the loudmouthed spoiled bastard of the series, Jeeves had encouraged him, even calling and obtaining his father's blessing for him since Montana had felt too awkward to call the man himself.

And later, when fans of the show came up to him on the street and told him what a jerk he was, Jeeves was the one that pointed out he was obviously a more talented actor than he himself thought he was. Jeeves said in real life, Montana was nowhere near the pain in the ass he was in the show. Seventy-five percent of the time he was slightly more likeable.

The other twenty-five percent of the time he informed Montana he was a real life nightmare.

Dealing with others, taking care of himself, his colors and numbers and how to tell time and not to judge someone just on their color, get to know the person before deciding he didn't like them - all learned from Jeeves just as much as his speaking patterns and mannerisms and moral core.

Jeeves had done it all without collecting a cent more than he usually did. He wasn't even supposed to be doing it really - he had wanted to.

He wasn't just a job. He just told the one person who cared about him the most to screw off.

Starting to panic, Montana ran a hand through his hair. What was he going to do without him? It wasn't every butler that cared that much about their employer's child - he vaguely remembered Richard. Richard wouldn't have done any of the stuff Jeeves did. He doubted Richard would eat his meals with him - Jeeves always sat down at the table and ate with him, discussing their days. It was not protocol - the help never ate with the family.

Why the hell did he even listen when Wakko had said that to him? The Mime was just mad at him and much like Montana had done himself, was simply grasping at the most childish and insulting things to say in an effort to see who could be the biggest asshole at the time.

Amazing how well it had worked - they both now hated each other and dragged their friends down with them and in his case his only real family, blood or not.

No wonder Plucky had been trying to get him to shut up. Plucky had said before he was sometimes jealous of what Max had - someone chose to spend time with him doing stuff just for fun. His own parents were too busy trying to make him work.

He was such a moron.

Montana sighed; this really was a very bad weekend.

"And now, if you wish to find Master Plucky, I shall give our regrets to Foghorn and the others so that we may make our way back to the house."

"Now wait a bleeding minute!" Montana demanded, not liking the panicky tone that was rising in his voice but unable to stop it. "I didn't mean…not like that I didn't…- "

How the hell was he supposed to fix this? This was one of those massive fuck-ups he would normally talk to Jeeves about, and now his usual go to adult figure was out of the picture because he was the one he massively fucked up with.

"Look, you wanted to stay - "

"Oh no Mister Max, it is not my place to question my employer's wishes. I am simply here to fulfill requests as needed. I have overstepped my boundaries for the last time."

"Jeeves, please, listen to me - "

"And of course I shall be speaking to your father when we return to the house," Jeeves continued in the same flat tone as before. "I believe when my contract is up in July I will forgo renegotiations. Perhaps it is time I returned to England."

_Oh God, what have I done?_

Watching as Jeeves continued to look down at him with a bland face, Montana started yelling at him, begging him to at least listen because he hadn't meant anything he said.

Jeeves didn't answer. He barely looked at him.

Montana tried again - he had to try to apologize and he couldn't do it if Jeeves refused to even look at him or acknowledge him.

He felt a painful stinging in his eyes and blinked; this could not be happening.

_Can't cry - must not cry no matter what._

_Get through to his stubborn ass - beg him if need be…_

_Stop tearing up stupid!_

"Guys?"

Montana blinked as he heard the voice come from the direction of the path and hastily wiped as his face.

The senior Mime. Just who he needed to see him getting…upset. Slightly.

Fuck that - no way he was going to admit it. He'd tell Yakko he got dirt in his eyes when he tripped and fell.

"Hey guys, just wanted to check…and…make sure…"

Montana saw Yakko pause slightly and trail off when he glanced at Jeeves. The butler met his gaze with a cold stare while practically radiating disapproval and anger. Curious and with a slight frown, Yakko turned to look at Montana.

Montana glared back at him, trying to give Yakko the hardest look he could muster while inwardly hoping he wouldn't say anything. If he did Montana feared he would start blubbering and begging Jeeves again, humiliating both of them.

No, he would fight that urge.

Let Yakko say one damn thing; and he would deny it. He was no crybaby.

"Hey Max," Yakko smirked before drawling, "Face is filthy - you dig another hole? Or you been crawling through the leaves trying to hang my brother and the bunny again? Even better - you got a new prank in mind?"

_What?_

Stunned, Montana blinked. He thought for sure Yakko would say something smart assed. Maybe he hadn't noticed.

"Just try not to kill him. I admit he gets under my skin at times but I love him and Dot would be annoyed if she only got one brother back. I don't think Mr. Bunny wants Buster dead either…"

Montana listened as Yakko rambled on, wondering if the boy was going to go anywhere with his babbling. When Yakko turned to look at Jeeves for a moment Montana quickly wiped at his face and nose again, happy he had the opportunity to do so.

" - and yeah, saw Plucky up the path, sent him off with Foghorn," Yakko said airily, waving in the general direction of the camp as he headed towards them. "Had dirt all in his feathers."

"Right, yeah, we tripped," Montana muttered, grateful that Yakko didn't seem to be making a big deal out of it. "Playing."

"Might wanna head down to the river, wash your face - Ehhhhh, get off all that dirt," Yakko said as he stood next to Montana and cocked an eyebrow at him and shaking his head in a mocking manner. "You guys did it this time. I can't even remember the number on the lectures we're up to now. And just so you know, Foghorn's mad about his rope."

_Well he can go piss up it. I don't care right now._

"Needed to talk to Jeeves anyway - heard about that stain removal thing," he continued in his casual manner. "You better go; just trust me Max, get cleaned up now. The little talk can wait ten minutes."

Nodding, Montana stood and watched as Yakko reached up to put an arm around Jeeves' stiff shoulders and began to lead him off. The teenager looked behind him and mouthed 'Go! Now!' at him before turning to Jeeves.

Montana slowly turned to head towards the river, unsure if Yakko knew he had been starting to cry or if the boy had just missed it.

He decided he didn't care and instead chose to be thankful that Yakko seemed like the type to practice discretion now and then. After all, Montana reasoned that he was currently a sworn enemy of Wakko; his brother would have every reason to use any weakness as a weapon. He did not appear to wish to though; he didn't seem too pissed he was partially responsible for flinging his brother through the tree tops.

He sighed, looking over his shoulder; Yakko was running his mouth like he usually did. After a few moments Jeeves twitched and gave a jerking motion with his head.

Jeeves seemed to like Yakko OK; hell, not many people didn't like Yakko. Maybe talking to him for a little while would calm Jeeves down and he could try to beg for his forgiveness later and to not quit.

Maybe when he calmed down and if nobody bothered him for awhile he could go try talking to Wakko and Buster. Even Plucky; if he didn't he was liable to leave these woods not on speaking terms with anyone.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Why me? _

_Of all the dirt paths, in all the towns, in all the world, they had to be on mine._

_And of all the families in the world I could have stumbled on to, I just had to stumble onto this family's squabble._

Yakko glanced behind his shoulder as Max walked off quickly, trying to hide the fact he was wiping at his nose and eyes. After a few moments the younger boy started running and disappeared into the trees.

With a nod to himself, Yakko turned back to Jeeves, pushing Max from his mind.

Max would be OK. He looked like he wanted to kill himself at the moment but Yakko had serious doubts he would fling himself into the lake and drown - he swam too damn well. Besides, if he did he wouldn't be around to be a pain in the ass to everyone else. If he didn't reappear in a few minutes Yakko mentally decided he would hunt him up and make sure he was OK.

But he had other problems to deal with. A very pissy looking butler.

Yakko studied him for a few moments, debating on what to say and the best way to say it. Jeeves was obviously extremely angry and insulted - not that Yakko could blame him.

Plucky had said very little when he and Foghorn had found him trudging up the path - the most he had said was that Max was screwing up and he wasn't listening to anything anyone said. Yakko had thought the comment odd only because it wasn't any different than any other time this weekend. He would be surprised if any of them remembered what they were fighting about anymore.

Foghorn had tried to quiz him more but Plucky had fallen into a moody silence and refused to speak more, saying it wasn't his business. Foghorn had seemed annoyed but didn't push the issue, instead laying into Plucky about swinging Wakko and Buster in the air.

He tempered the conversation with some praise though; he said it was the best tied snare he had ever seen. The duck had lit up like a five hundred watt light bulb at the praise. Yakko was thankful they hadn't been near the water when that happened.

But as wonderful as Plucky's previously unknown talent in snares was, he still needed to get to the camp to have some sort of discussion on the prank war - hopefully before anyone got maimed or killed.

Yakko had shrugged, figuring he would go find Max and Jeeves, joking to Foghorn that he would hopefully do it before the butler killed him and the Max family was without an heir.

He had never expected that his joke might be partially correct.

While he hadn't caught the entire conversation between the two, he had caught enough.

_I never once thought about you as a paycheck._

_Forgo renegotiations._

_Return to England._

_Employer._

Yakko hadn't meant to spy on them, but the heat coming from the conversation had almost been enough to set the woods ablaze. He heard them as he got closer to them and had slowed, stepping quietly so they wouldn't hear him as he watched.

He had narrowed his eyes at some of Max's words, stunned that even he could be that disrespectful. Yakko had winced at Jeeves' cold tone and his own words, knowing the man could likely tear someone apart with his tongue just as easily as he could himself.

Yakko had turned though, thinking that not only was the fight none of his business but that things would work themselves out between the two. With the personality Max had Yakko could hardly believe this was the first time that these two had some sort of verbal altercation.

As soon as he had turned, intending to return to camp and just tell the others that he was sure Max and Jeeves would be along shortly he had heard the boy's voice start to crack, going from sarcastic and demanding to begging as he half sobbed to Jeeves to listen to him because he didn't mean it.

Yakko sighed, cursing himself for being a sucker.

He wouldn't have minded seeing Max dangling upside down next to his brother - Foghorn had a decent idea there. He had half hoped Jeeves would give the kid a couple of good smacks like he deserved. Max had said some horrible things and if Wakko or Dot had said anything like that to him Yakko knew he would be horribly insulted and hurt. Probably devastated.

The ones you love the most tend to be the ones that wound you the most, and it was obvious Jeeves was extremely hurt. Pissed, but hurt.

Yakko sighed, half wishing he had jumped out of the bush and given the ungrateful little brat a few smacks himself.

Watching the boys torturing each other had been a delightful addition to the weekend. While the pranks were getting more cruel and dangerous, they were highly amusing. But truthfully, someone was going to get hurt.

He didn't even mind seeing them get in trouble, but he didn't want to see any of the boys hurt or crying, be it from a prank gone wrong or from overly malicious words spat out in anger.

And Max had been crying. Jeeves had been angry enough that he was ignoring him, upsetting him further. Actually liking Max and respecting Jeeves, Yakko felt like he had no choice but to intervene before one of them did something they really regretted.

Unsure if he was making the correct decision Yakko had stepped out of the tree line, making his presence known and stumbling over his words only briefly. He'd even given the see-through pretext of wanting a stain removal recipe and giving Max the out he needed. Yakko was sure Max would no more admit he was crying than he would go back to camp with a tear stained face - twelve-year-old boys were too overstuffed with pride to survive that. Better to get him out of there to pull himself together.

Plus get Jeeves back to his calm, sarcastic, level headed self, especially before he hopped a plane back to England.

Yakko eyed the man who was coolly watching him with a hard expression for a moment before removing his arm from Jeeves' shoulder. Jeeves was taller than him and the stretching was killing him.

He had to be delicate when approaching the subject. Jeeves seemed like a very laid back man normally, playing and joking with the children despite his reserved demeanor. Yakko honestly wouldn't mind getting to know the man better regardless of his reservations about his armed status.

Yakko wasn't comfortable with guns, mostly due to his past and his own ignorance about them. He didn't like them and had no interest in learning about them, but the two armed members of their little expedition seemed extremely knowledgeable and capable with weapons.

He had relaxed more when the men had been discussing safety methods and ways of keeping them out of reach of overly curious boys. Foghorn and Jeeves had happily discussed firearms long after he and Bugs had started their own conversation and Mr. Bunny had wandered off for a twilight stroll.

Foghorn had even chided Jeeves about not going to the gun club more, stating he had heard him tell Max several times to get out, do things with his friends, and never bypass an opportunity. The rooster had crowed that Jeeves didn't even follow his own advice.

Yakko winced - if he was going to refuse to do anything with Max any longer, Jeeves would have plenty of free time to do that he supposed, but he wasn't sure if that would make the man happy. It defiantly wouldn't help Max any.

"So uh…yeah, that stain removal thing," Yakko started to say before Jeeves woodenly nodded his head.

"I shall copy it down before our party departs."

"No hurry, just thought it'd come in handy."

"Indeed."

"So, leaving huh?" Yakko said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Only got one more night Jeeves - Bugs' paranoia finally getting to you?"

"Mister Max has expressed his desire to leave."

"Please," Yakko scoffed. "Max doesn't know what he wants from one minute to the next."

"I am simply doing as my employer wishes," Jeeves intoned flatly.

Yakko inwardly cringed at the tone but didn't comment on it. Sometimes, it was better to wait and see where the conversation was going before making a comment.

"I shall wait for him here so that I may escort him back to the camp, where we will collect Master Plucky and be on our way."

"It's your choice." Yakko said, wondering if he could convince the man to stay or even if he should. "It was really great, you being here. Even Max and Plucky - you guys kept things interesting."

"As did you Master Yakko," Jeeves said stiffly, allowing the barest traces of a grin to touch his lips before it disappeared. "You should return to the camp; your brother is no doubt searching for you, and if there is to be a talk I am sure the other adults would like you around. Besides, I do not see the wait for Mister Max being particularly interesting."

"Nah, I'll wait too," Yakko shrugged, secretly please that Jeeves had phrased it that way.

The other adults. He was being looked at as one of 'them'.

"I'm not the one that's gonna get yelled at; doubt I need to be there for the little lecture. I'm on vacation this weekend anyway. Let Foghorn talk to the little twerps."

Jeeves nodded but didn't speak further and Yakko sighed, running a hand through his hair. This was going to be more difficult than he imagined it would be.

"I wanted to thank you, while we were away from the others, for not busting up my fun," he finally said, hoping if he changed the subject he could get the man talking. Standing beside him and not speaking was awkward. "I know you saw me in the bushes, and stealing the coffee - "

"And the glue," Jeeves cut him off. "Clever that one was. Mister Bugs still believes one of the children did it."

"Acme Silicone." Smirking, Yakko asked, "OK, how'd you see that? You were inside when I stole it."

"I did not see it nor was I sure until you just verified it for me."

_Damn tricky Brit._

"Dirty Jeeves," Yakko chided. "You let me walk right into that."

"Hardly dirty Master Yakko. The tactic frequently works on Master Mon - I mean Mister Max," the man corrected himself. "One should strive to think before they speak."

Yakko nodded, pausing a moment before he asked, "Look, you wanna talk about - "

"It is hardly appropriate to talk about my employer," Jeeves said in a haughty, put upon manner. "It goes against all normal rules and protocol - "

"So does raising someone else's kid," Yakko interrupted him, leaning against a tree. "But you're doing it."

"Correct me if I am wrong Master Yakko, but you are doing it yourself," Jeeves shot back. Inhaling he said in a hard tone, "And if I may say so at least they are your job and responsibility. Montana is neither to me and yet - "

"True," Yakko shrugged, surprised at Jeeves' snapping at him but refusing to get offended by it. Jeeves was simply angry and had spoken without thinking himself. "I'm raising them even if they aren't my kids. Mom and Dad didn't exactly ask my permission when they had them. They're a lot of work, but not really a 'job', not like that."

Snorting and ignoring Jeeves who was looking horrified at his outburst Yakko continued. When looked upon a certain way, he and Jeeves actually had something in common ~ both of them were responsible for children not their own.

"I mean they weren't my responsibility, not legally," Yakko continued, his unwavering gaze locked on Jeeves' face. "And I could have gotten out of it…It would have made my life so much simpler. I could have left them countess times - at the apartment, at the home, hell, even on the streets. It would have been so easy to just walk away and let someone else deal with them and all their little problems and temper tantrums and snotty noses and attitudes - "

"Master Yakko, I apologize," Jeeves said, looking embarrassed at his eruption. "I have insulted you beyond - "

"- and I know it's just going to get worse as they get older. Wakko's going to be a teenager soon and he's going to play hell on my nerves, I can see that already. Dot will too but that's only because I know I'm going to pound the face in of any guy that gets near her and she's a little cutie now. My luck she'll end up being this flirty little giggle pot that attracts every guy around - "

"Master Yakko please let me - "

" - and I know this yet I stick around. Not because it's my job, not because I'm supposed to or because I'm forced to but because it's right and I love them."

Yakko shrugged, knowing he was laying the cheese on too thick. Hopefully Jeeves wasn't allergic to dairy.

"I accepted that a long time ago and I will see it through to the end, whether it's because they've grown to adulthood or because they chased me into an early grave. I couldn't accept the responsibility and then back out the first time it got too hard. I can walk away from a job; I can't walk away from my family."

"I committed an egregious breech of etiquette Master Yakko," Jeeves said. "It was never my intention to insult you. I have always admired you and the fact you were forced to take on a man's job of raising a family while still a child yourself. You deserve every bit of praise you get."

"I was never forced; like I said I could have dumped them anywhere and not looked back. I still could if I wanted to…but I won't. And I chose to raise them; I don't like it when people give me praise for it like I'm suffering or doing something noble." Cutting his eyes to Jeeves and tilting his head a bit he added, "But if you want to look at it from a certain point of view, yeah, I guess I kinda had to take responsibility for them, being family - no one else would do it and they mean too much to me to leave them. I will say though that it takes a lot to voluntarily take on the responsibility for someone else's kid and they're not family…or they're part of your nine-to-five."

"He was never part of my nine to five," Jeeves muttered testily before looking fully in Yakko's face. "And I apologize for what I said before Master Yakko. But whether you like the praise or not, you deserve it," Jeeves said, sounding calmer before sighing and looking towards the direction Max had disappeared off to.

"Everyone looses it sometimes Jeeves," Yakko said in a matter of fact voice, following his gaze. "Everyone. They're kids; I think their first priority is to drive you crazy. I've wanted to toss both sibs off the tower before. I was perfectly content to leave Wakko hanging upside down in the tree like a bat but Foghorn started cutting him down before I could stop him."

"Mister Max and Master Plucky would have no doubt gone by and beat on them like a couple of piñatas if you had left them." Shaking his head Jeeves added, "I had thought I was doing correctly by him, seeing how his parents - "

"Look, Max is a decent kid…most times," Yakko said. "Sarcastic, rude and a pain in the ass, but he's OK. I'd hate to think what he would have ended up like if you hadn't stepped in - "

"Perhaps he has just outgrown me," Jeeves said grimly. "If he does not need - "

"Yeah, at twelve he's a fully functional adult," Yakko drawled. "Look, he's a brat, no one will debate with you on that. He's got good qualities too - Wakko wouldn't have put up with him if he didn't and I sure as hell wouldn't let him hang out with Max if I thought he was a bad influence."

"I know Mister Max started the entire war with his mouth," Jeeves replied, shaking his head. "Everyone's trip was a nightmare due to him and - "

"It hasn't been that bad Jeeves, not the entire thing. And it wasn't just Max - Wakko played a major part in it - all of them did. You don't see me blaming myself because Wakko continued to prank him do you? I know I don't blame you because Max decided to continue the cycle. I'm ultimately responsible for what Wakko does, but I figure I taught him how to behave given his age and he's a kid - he'll mess up - but I'm not gonna just give up on him because he messed up. I didn't think you'd give up on Max that easily either."

Snickering at Jeeves' look he added, "Come on, it's been a rough weekend all around and Max has had it bad. He had to dig a hole - twice thanks to my brother and his partner in crime. He got skunked, he's fighting not only with his friends but with the one guy he really admires and looks up to - "

"I asked him not to insult my intelligence; I make the same request of you."

"I'm serious," Yakko insisted. "I doubt he'd be as upset as he looked when you said you were going back to England if he didn't want you to stay," Yakko reasoned.

"He thinks I look at him like a job," Jeeves said quietly, looking older and more worn out than Yakko had ever seen him. "I have never looked at him that way. I hardly knew the Max family had a child until I arrived in the United States; I certainly was not expecting to have to fill the role of parent along with my other duties."

Yakko nodded, deciding to keep silent. The man was finally talking; he could sit back and listen. He had no idea if any of this was helping or convincing the man to talk to Max and stick around for awhile longer, but he could hope.

And this was one of the first times he had spoken in an adult manner about his own living situation, something he would usually joke about, blowing it off wrapped in a pretty package of comedy and humor, hiding his own feelings. Since the man was speaking to him as an equal and didn't seem to be in the mood for humor, Yakko saw no reason to hide what he felt.

He loved his siblings - it didn't always have to be made into a joking matter.

"When I realized how woefully starved for attention he was," Jeeves continued, getting a far away look in his eyes as he talked. "Not to mention developmentally delayed due to no one having spent any time with him, the most I did was speak to his father, asking if he was to be left in my care at the house that I have complete control in raising him."

"Something his parents obviously didn't mind," Yakko guessed.

"Hardly. They jumped on the opportunity; he could be left in the States while they continued their separate lives elsewhere. The ink on the guardianship papers was still wet when the family attorney was rushing them off to the courthouse."

_Nice._

Yakko was almost amazed - he never thought he would meet anyone who had less interest in their children than his own parents.

"But I was never paid - I never even thought to ask for more money for it! I was simply trying to do the right thing for him," Jeeves said, beginning to ramble. "I tried to teach him how to behave in polite society, how to interact with others so he could not only make friends but keep them though after this weekend I can see I failed - "

"He's rather popular despite his shortcomings. I think Max would be a very lonely child if it wasn't for you."

"Montana would be the size of a small dirigible right now if I had not begun interacting with him," Jeeves snorted, rubbing his temples for a moment. "I shudder to think what his personality would be like. After all that - nine bloody years - he thinks that I just see him as another weekly paycheck?" Jeeves asked incredulously. "I should have asked for more money if I was to take on this job as well." he fumed. "Though with his attitude lately no amount would be - "

"Sometimes, you do something because it's right, not because you're paid," Yakko said simply.

When Jeeves humped, Yakko put his hands up in a soothing motion. No sense in letting Jeeves get himself wound up again.

"He doesn't think you look at him as a paycheck - not really. And I know he doesn't look at you like the family servant. He's twelve - they're stupid at twelve and just say stupid things."

"With my past experiences with him, I can guarantee the 'stupid' part will not disappear any time soon."

Yakko chose to ignore that, deciding on a more direct means of explaining what he wanted Jeeves to understand. He momentarily tried to think of a comical way to phrase it because he didn't want it to come out sounding cliché or cheesy, but decided against it and just spoke as bluntly as he could. Not every comment needed to be wrapped up inside a joke. It made things easier sometimes, but it takes away from the thought.

"Look, he didn't mean it. You think Wakko and Don't haven't said crap to me?" Yakko snorted. "They've both said some rude things - I'm mean, they don't like me, I don't care about them, whatever. It hurts but I know they don't mean it. I've said some things I'm not proud of to them too. Doesn't mean we don't love each other - I know they love me. They know I love them. It just means that at one moment one of us got carried away and let our mouths run too much."

"I hardly find that surprising, especially coming from a person whose name is 'Yakko'. Mister Max has no such excuse."

_Stubborn ass. I can see where Max gets it from._

"My point is Max was pissed - he's had a bad weekend and he's lashing out and you were the nearest and most likely target. He let his mouth get carried away, said some things he shouldn't have, didn't want to listen to reason and now he's in trouble and has no idea what to do."

"Normally he would come to me - "

"And you're the one he pissed off so that's not a real option now is it? Look, I've been in his place too - I pissed off Bugs a while ago with my attitude and mouth and it took me forever to apologize - him too actually - but it worked out in the end. He's still my da-doo."

He really hoped Jeeves didn't ask for details. He'd tell the man but he really didn't want to get into it. Even after all the time that had passed and he was still embarrassed about his little fiasco with Athena.

"I somehow doubt you were as trying as Mister Max."

_And I never thought I would meet someone who was more trying than Bugs._

"Family sticks together, no matter what. They may disappoint you, they may drive you crazy and you'll want to strangle them but you can't walk away from them. I mean, would you want to? Wakko drives me nuts sometimes - Dot too - but at the end of the day I wouldn't change a thing." Yakko shrugged, still unaccustomed to speaking so bluntly about the subject.

"I told him I was leaving. He seemed to express that wish with no reservations. His father will have a new butler hired before my contract expires."

"Is that what you want to do? Do you honestly think that's what Max wants? Or that's the best thing for him?"

Jeeves was silent for so long that Yakko wondered if he had pushed too far and angered the man again when he heard him very quietly speak.

"No. He means too much to me to leave…and I fear what may become of him if I do."

Yakko nodded, already having known the answer before he asked the question.

"Then…don't. Look, I'm not trying to tell you not to go back to England if you want or how to do your job or whatever you want to call it. But," Yakko shrugged, looking for the correct words. "But sometimes, family isn't just those who were lucky enough to be born from the same blink line or have the same last name. I mean, look at mine. Our own father doesn't care what happens to us."

The butler didn't answer, just sat there and looked like he was contemplating Yakko's words and lost in thought.

"Your father is a poorer man for it."

"But we were lucky enough to meet people who may not have our last name or the same blink line, but care for us more than our parents ever did. Because of them I can take care of Wakko and Dot like they should be," Yakko said, putting his hand on Jeeves' shoulder. "And we appreciate all of them, whether we say it enough or not.

"Mister Max does not seem to appreciate any of it," Jeeves said, still gazing in the direction of the lake, but not looking as beaten as he had been.

"He does. Max may not have realized how great he's got it and just took it for granted. Now that he does recognize what he has got and he's afraid he's going to lose it, he's scared and doesn't know what to do. Just…sleep on it; maybe talk to him later after you're both calmed down. No need to make a rash decision."

"Or I can let him sweat it out some," Jeeves said dryly. "Perhaps if he believes I am leaving I will notice a marked change in his behavior. I have tried treating him as a family member should; let us see how he enjoys the employer and employee situation. It is, after all, protocol."

_Damn. That's cold. Max deserves some payback, but daaaaaamn…_

Yakko perked up some. Jeeves was sounding more like his usual self and less like a depressed fan boy who just found out Fifi and Babs weren't going to get their own adult orientated series on HBO.

He shuddered; bunch of perverts.

Thank God none of them seemed to latch on to Dot.

"Blackmail Jeeves? Seems so uncivilized," Yakko joked.

"In dire situations even the most elegant of gentleman will engage in uncivilized behavior," Jeeves said reasonably. "And for Montana this may very well be a learning experience after all; for me as well. But I thank you Master Yakko - you may be responsible for stopping me from making a very large mistake."

"I'd hate to see you leave, especially since I just started to get to know you. And don't let Foghorn hear you talking about leaving," Yakko warned. "He won't get to have his shooting competition with you."

"I look forward to beating him soundly." Turning to look at Yakko fully Jeeves added, "Though my 'working' relationship may have been strained, I believe I can say I have made several new friendships on this trip. I hope I may count you in that category Master Yakko."

Yakko looked down, surprised, as Jeeves held his hand out to him.

Slightly dumbfounded but pleased, Yakko shook it, adding yet another person into his friends category.

"At some point we should engage in an activity ourselves - perhaps a round of golf."

_Golf?_

Yakko snorted at the thought. He knew Bugs liked to play - the rabbit had invited him several times, but he had always turned it down.

"Sorry Jeeves, I don't look good in plaid pants."

"Forgoing your worries about fashion, it is a true gentleman's game. A friendly competition with just the adults one weekend. I think after this weekend, we all could use some time without the tomfoolery Master Yakko."

Yakko shrugged; maybe. He wouldn't mind doing something away from his siblings for a few hours. He loved them but didn't want to spend every waking moment with them. And he had enjoyed his conversations with Jeeves and the others without the runts around.

And he would admit it; he'd like to see Foghorn out there and Bugs would jump on the opportunity simply because he would know he could best Foghorn at it.

He'd have to work on getting Jeeves to stop calling him 'Master' though.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Well, this has been a waste of a perfectly good evening. They hate each other more than they did before._

_Nice job guys._

Hands in his jacket pockets, Yakko leaned against the tree, bored, frustrated and annoyed himself. He watched as the four boys - now seated on separate logs around the campfire away from each other, sulked and glared and did everything else but answer any questions or admit that any one of them did anything wrong. Hell, at this point they were all starting to get their pranks mixed up and couldn't remember who said or did what when or where or why.

Foghorn and Mr. Bunny were practically howling in frustration at them but weren't getting much of a response. Bugs had given up awhile ago on talking to them and stomped off, disappearing into the woods with a hesitant watchful look around him.

Jeeves had fallen silent.

Yakko had just gotten bored. When Bugs had stomped off in annoyance he had begged Yakko to try to talk some sense into them; they respected him and might listen since he was closer in age and all of them might sleep in peace tonight.

He had given it a shot. Any one of the four would talk to him, but the one time he said he had agreed with Wakko both Plucky and Max had yowled he was taking sides and only agreeing because he was his brother. When he had said he wasn't and had agreed with something Plucky and Max had said Wakko had yelled that they were trying to turn his brother against him while Buster tried to calm him down.

Deciding that since Foghorn didn't have any more aspirin, Yakko had given up before his headache got any worse. At some point they would either fall asleep or kill each other - he just wasn't sure which one he wanted more at the moment.

Either way, everyone else would get some sleep.

He felt slightly guilty - Wakko and Buster were accusing Max and Plucky of pranking Bugs while Max and Plucky yelled that it was obviously the other two. He had almost admitted that everything that happened to Bugs he was mostly responsible for but had held his tongue. Bugs' pranks weren't the topic being discussed and if he was ever going to be that foolish to risk his life, he wanted to do it without an audience.

He watched as Jeeves, obviously still angry and annoyed but much calmer after his talk with Yakko in the woods crossed his arms and glared down at his two charges, who both shrunk back.

At least Max had been somewhat more subdued when he was coming back from the lake, only muttering single answer responses to any question put to him and watching Jeeves when the butler had his back turned. Yakko didn't think it was great, but it was a start.

At least when Jeeves had informed Foghorn that he believed he would have plenty of free time in the future to engage in 'other activates' and continued to address him as 'Mister Max' the kid had the decency to look ashamed of himself. He also had the common sense not to talk back to him when asked rather grandly to please be seated.

Plucky had barely spoken to Max but had still sat docilely beside him until someone came up with the idea of seating the four children apart. Even Wakko and Buster had seemed angry at each other.

Yakko thought it was fascinating to watch as all the allegiances broke apart before his eyes. They did make a good team when they bothered to work together and actually took into account each other's strengths and weaknesses.

And they were so alike sometimes. All four of them were too stubborn to listen to each other, none of them were bothering to apologize, they all had big mouths, they were pissing off everyone around them -

"Let's talk for a second doc."

Yakko moved his gaze from the four boys and looked over as Bugs came towards him out of the darkness.

He honestly was starting to feel bad for the rabbit; the poor guy was a wreck. Yakko was debating on paying for a weekend for the rabbit at a spa; hopefully that would calm him down.

Yakko was happy everyone would be heading home tomorrow, just for Bugs' sake. He expected the rabbit would barricade himself in his house and become a hermit after this escapade.

He looked at him closer; Bugs appeared surprisingly calm for a rabbit that seemed to believe the four runts were after him. In fact, he looked like his usual collected self.

Well, it was the last night. Tomorrow everyone would be heading back - Bugs would no doubt get several speeding tickets in his attempt to get back to ToonTown and put the entire weekend behind him. He had already said he was taking every piece of camping equipment he owned and tossing it out, wishing to never see it again.

Yakko surmised that his statement probably meant the closest Bugs would ever get to sleeping outdoors again would be to sleep with his windows open. Which was too bad; despite his initial reservations about the trip Yakko had to admit he had actually enjoyed himself.

For the most part. He could do without the itching powder next time.

Yakko nodded before sending his patented look towards Wakko that clearly instructed him to behave or else. He was getting tired of it - Wakko and Buster could have been seriously hurt, at least busting a few teeth or dislocating a leg. The attack had happened so suddenly that neither boy had Chucked themselves, sustaining several bruises.

Luckily neither of them were hurt seriously. Much like Plucky and Max could have been hurt with the skunk if the animal had actually attacked, biting or clawing them.

It was like the four of them just decided to leave their brains at home when they came out on the road.

Yakko decided he would offer to not only pay for Bugs to go to a spa for the weekend, he would join him.

Seeing Wakko shrink back a little from his look, Yakko nodded to himself, assured that he probably wouldn't do anything for the time being.

At the moment his younger brother didn't seem inclined to misbehave, especially since he had three rather annoyed seeming adults staring down at him along with the other boys. After this weekend though Yakko wasn't putting anything past any of the little mutants. They had showed cleverness and deviousness far beyond their ages. The little runts were dangerous.

Yakko turned, noticing that the camp had lapsed into a tense silence and he suppressed a shiver, finding it disconcerting.

He looked at the four boys, still on their separate spots around the fire. No one had dared move during the rather loud and long lecture, mostly because Bugs had threatened to glue them to the logs with the silicone they used on him if they thought about it.

Not that it had done any good; at first all four boys had protested, denied, accused the other warring faction of all sorts of misdeeds before pouting and glaring. But now, at the end of the lecture none of them were paying any attention and had driven the adults to distraction.

Yakko had almost laughed out loud while wanting to ask them if they had all been driven crazy.

The boys all knew sign language; even sitting on separate logs across from each other around the camp Yakko had caught the threats and insults passed between the four boys, not to mention the new plans of revenge that they were signing to their respective partners behind their backs or upheld hands. And he was hardly the most flaunt of people in sign language - the four boys could talk circles around him and he still picked up the gist of their conversation.

Yakko couldn't believe the adults were that clueless. Two well seasoned stars used to dealing with all four children, another father who should know his child quite well along with his friends, and a butler who was still seething but had lost none of his ability to notice what was happening around him.

Did they honestly think putting the four demon spawn on separate logs was going to stop the mayhem? Yakko had been all for it when Bugs had screamed he was going back to the city - he wanted to go with him and leave the miscreants out there to cause as much chaos and turmoil as they wanted.

But he couldn't do that to nature though; the woods and local wildlife hadn't done anything to him.

Bugs fell into a quick step beside him, putting an arm around his shoulder and gently steering him towards the woods like they were taking a friendly walk.

"Yakko, we need to have a serious discussion…" Bugs began. Sighing and shaking his head mournfully he said, "My sunglasses, my chair, my table…"

_Did he finally put two and two together?_

"I just never expected it…I'm so disappointed…then my coffee…"

Frowning slightly, Yakko sighed.

Fine - he was always telling Wakko to stand up and accept responsibility for what he did. He would have to do the same thing - he was supposed to be Wakko's role model and if he couldn't practice what he preached -

"Those four…I mean I love them all, great kids most times even if they are a bunch of maroons, but this…I can't stand for this."

_He still hasn't figured it out._

Yakko gloated to himself. The king of playing pranks on other people was a real baby when it came to having them played on himself.

And he had obviously bested the king. He really was King Yakko. He wanted a crown.

" - and I guess they get crazy when they drink coffee - "

"Uh…right Bugs," Yakko nodded hurriedly, hoping his breath didn't have even a whiff of Folgers on it. "They're just kids, they shouldn't be stealing your coffee - "

"Right doc." Turning and putting both hands on Yakko's shoulders he added, "Like I said, I love em and all…"

"I love em all too," Foghorn said, popping up behind them and momentarily startling Yakko, who spun and pressed his back into Bugs' chest.

"Adore the kids. But I promise you this," Foghorn added darkly. "They tree me in a snare I'm gonna have to kill em - "

"Hate to see the snare that could take you out," Bugs muttered dryly.

"And I got plenty of rope and can tie a snare myself rabbit. Don't mess with me," Foghorn said darkly. "But if those kids snare me or drop a skunk on me, I'm gonna kill them. No offense."

"I take none," Jeeves said, stepping out of the darkness falling on the tree line as silently as a wrath.

Yakko started again, wondering where the hell had he come from and why it seemed everyone had created a new game of sneaking up on him.

"I too agree that the pranks have gone from harmless to potentially lethal," Jeeves continued, leveling his gaze on Yakko. "And as you know, Master Montana is even more foul tempered without his friends than with - "

"Buster's just more whiny than usual, but that could be blamed on the onset of puberty," Mr. Bunny said casually as he stepped in from the right hand side, his notebook tucked under one arm. Taking his glasses off and wiping them for a moment he added, "They are usually less pains in the asses with their friends than without."

_Whoa - Mr. Bunny swore. Even he has a breaking point._

_Everyone here has reached their breaking point._

Yakko clutched his chest and stared speechless as each of them appeared out of the darkness. Maybe the adults weren't so clueless; they had performed a secretive flanking maneuver a general would be proud of. He hadn't heard any of them approach - Bugs however didn't seem surprised by any of their appearances.

"Jokes on you Yakko," Mr. Bunny said. "Sorry, we would have let you in on this little meeting, but since you were so close to the boys at all times we didn't see a way to get the message to you without them picking it up."

Yakko looked at the four adults surrounding him as they studied him in turn.

_What was going on? Secret meetings?_

"Do not look so surprised Master Yakko," Jeeves said, smirking at him. "Or did you think the boys were the only ones that learned sign language?"

"Or can make a plan?" Bugs asked archly. "Please doc, we've been around for awhile. We caught a good portion of what the little hooligans are planning next - "

"We're not fluent - I say - we're not fluent, but we got enough. Boys are declaring war on each other. Gotta show 'em the error of their ways."

Yakko almost sighed in relief. The adults weren't clueless globs just sitting around drinking coffee and going batshit insane in the woods. Even if they weren't as articulate as the boys, they understood that no matter how many lectures were given or how far apart on logs they were sitting, the boys weren't going to end this.

Yakko however had a feeling the adults were planning something…

"I hate to say it, but they are more tolerable as a team," Jeeves said evenly.

Bugs, nodding said, "True doc." Turning to Yakko he added, "And now we need your help."

"Ehhhhhhhhh…My help?" Yakko asked, confused and trying to stall for time, mostly so he could think.

The adults rarely acted like this. He had of course seen Bugs and Foghorn play the occasional prank. Well, not so occasional - they played almost as much as the younger children, they just practiced way more restraint.

Mr. Bunny was pretty easy going, engaging in jokes with both the children and the adults and didn't seem like he would turn down a gag himself if the opportunity arose.

Jeeves had a devilishly clever sense of humor and unlimited patience. He had casually informed Yakko on their way back to camp that 'Jeeves' wasn't even his real name. His real name was 'Alexander' - the Max family was so damn indifferent to what their employees names where they had somehow just started calling him 'Jeeves' and he simply found it amusing to accept the stereotypical 'butler' name.

Except for the younger Max. Montana hadn't been able to say his name correctly when he was younger and 'Jeeves' stuck, mostly as a nickname. He rarely called him 'Alex'.

Yakko could have seen them pieing the boys as they came around the corner or somehow frightening them with a scary bedtime story around the campfire, and not one of Foghorn's super-cheesy ones which caused more hilarity than horror.

But all this secretive planning seemed…unusual, even for this group.

"Yes, your help doc," Bugs said, curling his lip up slightly and slowly stalking around Yakko. "You didn't think we brought you out here for nothing did you?"

Yakko slowly backed up a few steps, worried.

The adults were crazy. A few short days in the woods and they had all gone nuts.

He was the last sane person left. For his own well being he should grab Wakko, throw him in a straight jacket and commandeer one of the vehicles and drive the two of them to safety.

Bugs was slowly stalking him from the front, Foghorn looming up behind him.

"The boys trust you Yakko," Mr. Bunny said in a funny quiet voice, sounding like he was chanting as he came in on Yakko's right side. "They look up to you."

Since talking is obviously not working, we think perhaps a prank of our own is in order," Jeeves explained, coming over from the left, hands on his hips as he stared down at Yakko as if regarding a rather interesting zoo exhibit. "Especially since we were told we wouldn't understand, being too old to engage in this type of tomfoolery ourselves."

Yakko figured that would have stung when Buster said it. No adult - especially in this group - would like being told they were 'too old' for something.

"We wish to employ a middle man to help us with a prank of our own."

Yakko backed up another few steps, feeling like he was in a horror movie being stalked by mad zombies. His back bumped a tree and he stood stock still, his eyes darting around as he looked for an escape route.

"And you boy are our middle. Got us a plan - I say - got us a plan, but we need the boys distracted by someone they trust and are still talking to."

_I just got accused of taking sides! And since I don't want to be on anyone's side…_

"Heh, well, sounds like a good idea! Good luck with that," Yakko stammered, trying to slink away from his captors. "Boys are all alone right now; I should go check - "

"The boys are fine where they are at," Mr. Bunny said, talking over him and leaning closer.

"I dare say none of them will think of moving for awhile, at least until one of us gives their permission."

Yakko winced, wondering what they had done to the boys to make Jeeves sound so sure of that. Even the threat of gluing their asses to a log shouldn't have convinced him that much. Yakko envisioned the four boys, large iron balls and chains connected to their ankles and shuddered.

"Look guys, flattered you asked," Yakko sputtered, trying to slink away again. He wanted to warn his brother; Lord knows what the adults had planned. "But we're all adults and they're just little boys - "

"Those little boys have thrown out the rules of war, the Geneva Convention, and apparently, everything else in regards to each other," Mr. Bunny snorted. "Or have you forgotten the skunk?"

"Um…All's fair in love in war?" Yakko quoted weakly.

"Hate to say this doc," Bugs said, leaning in close so his soft pink nose was pressed up against Yakko's cherry-red one. "But you're either with us…or against us."

"Exactly. Think about it boy; sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield. Better decide which one you are quick," Foghorn advised

Yakko looked up at Foghorn before looking into each face staring down intently at him and decided very quickly he wasn't a very good bug. And he bet Foghorn was real good with ropes…and he had a hatchet…

_Sorry Wakko…survival of the fittest and you brought it on yourself._

Happy he still had one sibling he knew was going to survive the weekend, Yakko said smoothly, "When put that way, what would you like me to do?"

XXXXXXXXX

_This sucks._

_I have to find it! And I can't find it if I'm stuck here staring at everyone._

Bored, annoyed and antsy, Buster shifted, trying not to draw his father's attention. Already on edge, the last thing he wanted to do was draw his father's ire any more than he already had.

But he wanted to get up. He wasn't sure if any of them were allowed to get up yet - they definitely hadn't been during the lecture. But even when the other adults had moved off for a few moments - probably so they wouldn't kill any of them - they had disappeared with a parting threat should any of the boys think of moving off their logs.

Extending the camping trip to a full week.

Buster had blanched at the threat. None of them would have been able to take another day let alone an entire week. Buster wasn't sure the adults could, but the threat had been issued with such sincerity that no one had questioned it. The adults had moved off and Buster had whispered savagely that no one should move off the logs.

At least in that none of them had fought - it was the first thing they had agreed on all weekend. Max had tried to say something but the adults had made a reappearance and had fallen silent again.

The lecture had eventually ended, mostly because even Foghorn was growing hoarse and Bugs seemed to run out of ideas on what to accuse them of next and the entire camp had fallen into a chilly silence, broken up only by the occasional sigh, grunt or cough.

He wanted to leave. He had to find it. But he didn't want to get up and attract attention - especially if anyone wanted to know why he was in such a hurry to run off, alone, after night had fallen.

He felt his jacket pocket again just in case he missed it, but his fingers hit empty fabric. It was gone - all his work, his notes, his scribbles and sketches and story ideas were lying somewhere out in the forest for anyone to find. Why hadn't he just thrown it back in his Hammerspace or hidden it in his backpack?

He was positive that it fell out when he and Wakko had taken their little trip through the air courtesy of Max and Plucky. He wrinkled his nose, noticing it was still tender from when he had initially smashed it on the ground.

He felt a small shudder overtake him - what if those two had found it when it flew out of his pocket? They would sit there, read it and laugh over everything in it. They would be the type to make copies of it and plaster them around ToonTown just to really rub it in his face how bad he was.

He started at another thought, his heart skipping a few beats before a small amount of panic started to set in.

What if they had found it and showed Babs? He closed his eyes in humiliation. If she ever heard about them she would probably laugh at him, tell everyone she knew and never talk to him again. What girl wanted to be the star of a bad story, let alone the star of several bad stories?

He could handle everyone else's scorn and laughter and jeers; he couldn't handle hers too. He wondered if someone actually could die of humiliation.

Maybe, when everyone fell asleep he could sneak out and look for it.

Shit; the adults would probably be watching. They were keeping an uncomfortably close eye on all of them.

He crossed his fingers that no one had found it. Maybe it had gotten buried in a pile of leaves and dirt and would just disappear; just slowly rot away out in the woods, lost and forgotten. That would be best.

Buster decided he could live with that. He wasn't very good at writing anyway and he was obviously just wasting his time. If he couldn't even tell his own father he was writing, he was never going to tell anyone else, and what was the sense in writing if he wasn't going to let anyone read them anyway? Better to just stick to sports; that seemed to be what he was known for.

Hearing Wakko cough slightly, he turned, wondering if his friend was at least going to apologize for getting them in this mess in the first place. If he hadn't started screwing with Max and Plucky about their stupid video games none of this would have ever happened.

No such luck.

When he looked at Wakko the boy looked back and shrugged at him, brushing his long hair out of his eyes.

Buster shot him a glare, inwardly berating him for not listening. He signed that it was Wakko's fault and he was an idiot; it was an obvious trap. Wakko wasn't a big thinker - he should have listened. Wakko was the gear head - a particularly useless talent unless his father needed his oil changed. He should just acknowledge that Buster was smarter and stop being a jerk.

Wakko, sitting next to Foghorn and chewing on his lip, looked annoyed and signed for him to get bent - if Buster was so damn smart how come he didn't see the trees bent down with the snares? Because of Buster he lost his damn hat and he did know other stuff besides cars. When Buster got a car he better not ever ask him for help with it.

Buster didn't bother signing anything, just held his finger up to Wakko. He'd deal with him later; maybe if he found his hat he'd shove it down Wakko's throat.

He glanced over in the direction of Max, who had been uncharacteristically subdued and wasn't looking at anyone, seeming to be deep in thought which Buster thought was nice. At least he was doing something besides trying to get everyone else in trouble. His mouth had really started all of this.

Plucky looked like he was in dire need of entertainment, lost in his own little world. He was slowly and methodically peeling the bark off the log he was sitting on and seemed content to ignore every one and everything around him, worrying Buster despite his pissed off state. He figured Plucky and Max would be plotting something by now, especially since they didn't have an adult glued to their side.

Maybe one of them had his book and they were trying to throw him off by not looking at him, acting like they were indifferent but in reality they were snickering about their plan of exposing him.

Buster shook his head. He was being stupid - if they had found it no doubt Plucky would be crowing about it by now.

Calming down and growing bored with watching his bored friends, Buster turned to watch the others. Now that their lecture was over everyone had moved off, seemingly as frustrated as any of the younger boys and wishing the entire thing was over with.

Buster sighed - this was supposed to have been fun, made everyone closer, maybe even inspired more camping trips in the future.

Instead everyone was going to leave the woods annoyed and hating everyone else. He had lost his closest friends, the ones he always counted on to hang out with or talk to. He had made the decision to leave behind his favorite hobby, never to touch it again and it hurt; that book was the most important thing to him and he loved - had loved - his secret pastime. His father was barely speaking to him and seemed disappointed not only in his son, but the fact that the entire trip had turned out to be a bust.

Buster shifted slightly, seeing his father briefly look from his coffee cup to glance at him. He met his eyes for a moment before going back to studying his beverage and Buster bit his lip.

Dad had just wanted a nice trip with his son and to share some experiences he had been through with his wife, to bond the two of them closer than they already were and it had -

Buster stopped thinking when he heard a weird sniffing sound coming from the woods. He raised his ears, noticing that his father, Bugs and both Warners did so as well.

He ignored them, concentrating on the sound. He jumped slightly when he heard a low rumbling growl.

"What was that?" Wakko faintly spoke, his eyes wide as he gazed off into the tree line.

"Huh? Didn't hear nothing boy," Foghorn said, barely looking up from his cup of coffee.

"I did," Buster said, seeing Wakko give him a look of relief.

"Probably some animal," Bugs said, shrugging as he turned back to continue talking with Yakko and Jeeves. "Thing's probably happy we're leaving tomorrow and it can go back to its peaceful life."

Buster eyed them - he had seen both Yakko and Bugs' ears turn toward the forest - he knew he and Wakko weren't the only ones that had heard anything. He figured Bugs would be more worried since the rabbit had been jumping at every little sound for awhile thinking it was another prank.

Stupid Max and Plucky - why the hell did they start pranking Bugs? The morons knew that ensnaring the adults in their war would bring their wrath down on all their heads. The adults were only to be pranked if there was no way it could come back on them and preferably discussing it with Buster first - he was the one that usually ensured they didn't get caught.

Exchanging a glance with Wakko who was beginning to gnaw on his lip again, Buster shrugged. If no one else was concerned, he wouldn't be either. Not yet. Maybe whatever it was would eat his book if it was still out there and he wouldn't have to worry about it being found.

After a few moments he heard the growl again, slightly louder and much closer and he started and looked around, noticing the trees nearest to Wakko and Foghorn were swaying slightly. This time it had attracted Max's attention too, which brought Plucky out of his own contemplation of the log's bark.

"All right you four, which one is it now? Buster, it's yours and Wakko's turn right?" Dad asked.

"What?" Buster looked at his father, puzzled and wishing his voice wasn't shooting up a few octaves.

"Your silly prank war," Dad said, waving him off. "Though I expected something a bit more than scary noises; at this point I figured you would have progressed to using knives on the other two."

_I never tried to hurt them!_

Max and Plucky both turned to look at Buster with looks of astonishment. Even Wakko seemed confused.

"That wasn't anything I - "

"Or was it you Mister Max?" Jeeves asked, turning to Max and asking him. "I would have had to put it on my time card of course but I would have been more than happy to assist you. All I have done so far on this trip I dare say I should have earned a hefty sum; I think I shall take a vacation soon."

Buster was happy he wasn't the only one that had a confused look on his face at that statement. Jeeves usually didn't discuss his salary from what he could remember.

"Whatever Jeeves," Max muttered testily before swinging around to look at the trees again.

Buster did as well - something was there, and since Max and Plucky looked just as worried as he and Wakko did, he had a feeling that it wasn't anything they had planned either.

He remembered the snare though and prepared to be on his guard. He'd rather not have any more surprises on this trip.

"All right, I'm tired of this," Dad announced, standing and slamming his coffee cup down. "Who did it now?"

Buster looked up at his father as the others did so as well.

"Wasn't us - "

"Please, this is hardly something I would - "

"Enough," Jeeves demanded, walking towards the woods and the rustling leaves. "I shall return momentarily. I do hope you realize Mister Max that I shall still be demanding my wages should I get inured."

_Man, what the hell happened between those two?_

Buster shook his head - with Max there was absolutely no telling.

"Jeeves, maybe you should wait, we'll all go - "

"Do not concern yourself Mister Bugs," Jeeves said smoothly as he disappeared into the tree line."

"Jeeves, wait - "

"Do not concern yourself either Mister Max," Jeeves called back. "If anything does happen to me I am confident you can easily replace me."

Buster hoped that someday he was on good turns with Max again; he really wanted to know what happened between those two. He wondered if Max or his family was going to replace the butler. He hoped not; he actually liked the guy and he knew Max liked him. And hell, the butler must like him if he put up with the crap he got.

Max jerked back like he had been slapped but fell silent, worriedly watching the woods where his butler disappeared.

Buster turned, looking at the entire group. None of the adults seemed concerned, going back to their coffee or talking. He exchanged another glance with Wakko, putting aside his differences with the boy for the time being. Until Jeeves came back and said it was nothing Buster wasn't relaxing. There were just too many things in the woods that would look at any of them as a midnight snack.

Anxiously watching the woods while awaiting the butler's return, Buster was secretly happy that two members of their party were armed. He was glad he knew the secret, even if he wasn't supposed to; it gave him a bit of confidence knowing that someone would be able to protect them.

Seeing Wakko's worried look, Buster signed for him to calm down, nothing was out there. At most it was one of Max and Plucky's stupid tricks.

Not seeming to believe him, Wakko nodded, looking unhappy and stressed. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Max and Plucky's rapidly moving hands, the duck telling Max he was an idiot. Max agreed before signing a few highly inappropriate but rather amusing statements back to him.

Buster ignored them, wondering what happened to Jeeves. It seemed like he had been gone forever. He tried to push his growing worry down - the man was fine. He had heard the man say he had been on safari; surely there could be nothing worse than a lion out there?

"He's been gone a while," Dad finally said, standing again and looking at Foghorn. "You think - "

"Nah…unless there was another snare out there?" He asked, looking over at Plucky and Max who both shrugged and frowned.

"Not that I believe any of you," Bugs said in a huffy voice from the other side of the camp, where he and Yakko were playing cards.

"I'll go," Dad said, handing Buster his coffee cup.

_Him? _

Dad was a writer, not a warrior. He couldn't go. He might get hurt.

"No Dad," Buster hissed, terrified of the thought of his father leaving. "I'll go inste- "

"Don't be ridiculous Buster," Dad said, giving him a pat on the head. "I let you go you'll probably just go out and try to pull another prank. You just better hope I don't get caught in one."

Buster gulped, desperately hoping that one of the others didn't have some sort of pit dug and Jeeves had fallen in. Or his father; Dad was likely to blame him.

He looked at Max and Plucky again - with their skills digging holes and their twisted sense of humor he wouldn't put it past them.

"Don't move," Dad warned before wandering off.

"Give a yell if you need us," Foghorn called. "We'll be right here - "

"Maybe we should go with him," Wakko said so quietly Buster wasn't sure he heard him.

"Nah, he'll be fine," Foghorn said, shrugging him off.

Buster shivered as he heard the growling come again, sounding further away. Whatever it was, it was moving around the camp - his ears could pick it up as the sounds slowly went quiet. He strained his ears, hearing the movement of the beast as it circled the camp. He could even see it moving the leaves along the tree line behind Yakko and Bugs who looked for a moment before going back to their game.

Wakko looked at him anxiously and this time Buster didn't tell him to calm down. That was his father out there - he didn't want to have to calm Wakko down. Wakko should be telling him to calm down; his brother wasn't out there, alone in the dark with only a Bic pen and a mallet for protection. He didn't have to be the calm cool collected leader all the time.

Buster started to stand, mentally screaming for his father to return even if he wasn't talking to him as warmly as he had been. As he did though, he shared a worried glance with Max, who was looking hollow-eyed at him.

He took some pity on his former friend - after all right now they were in the same boat. Both their fathers were missing, or close enough to fathers anyway.

Signing to Max to take it easy, they were probably fine and this was some stupid trick to scare them or something, Buster crossed his fingers, hoping that what he was saying was true. Max seemed to relax slightly, though his shoulders were still tensed and he was nervously scanning the tree line.

Buster tried, but with the flames flickering around and the light not reaching much further than their little circle he couldn't see much, just hear. And he didn't like what he was hearing.

More sniffing. A few crunches and snorts. A growl that started muted and low before it steadily grew louder and more angrier and deafening.

Buster heard a soft whimper escape his lips as he put his hands up to his ears to quiet the noise echoing in his head. He was reminded of Jurassic Park and shivered slightly, hoping that there wasn't a dinosaur out there. The current list of animals he had to worry about was enough; he didn't want to have to worry about ones that were extinct too.

At some point Plucky had left his log because he was almost quaking behind Max.

Buster turned frightened eyes to Foghorn, who was practically pushing Wakko out of his lap. Bugs looked ready to crawl in Yakko's as he jumped, scattering the cards to the ground.

"When I figure out which one of you did this one…" Foghorn grumbled softly before cutting off, probably because Wakko accidentally kicked him in the stomach. "Settle down - I say - settle down boy! Tired of all this foolishness…."

Buster swung his attention from Foghorn and his grumbling back to the tree line behind Yakko and Bugs, who had stood and were quickly stepping backwards towards the fire with alarmed expressions.

"Wanna go check Bugs?" Foghorn drawled.

"Not on your life doc!" Bugs snapped. "I'm not a fool! Whatever's out there - "

"Please; probably Jeeves and Bernie getting back at us for sticking them with more of the dishes," Foghorn said, waving towards the fire before heading towards the woods. "Glad to see them being so mature about it."

"Are you nuts?" Bugs hissed, grasping onto the rooster's arm while digging his feet in the dirt, causing deep gouges in the Earth and showering Yakko in a cloud of dust and leaves. "You can't go out there - "

"Bugs, I'm tired. The kids are acting up - I say - the kids are acting up and the others are following in their footsteps," the chicken finished off loudly just as an ear-shattering roar came from the leaves.

Yakko tumbled over, crab walked several feet towards his brother before scooping him up protectively and clutching him. Buster was jealous, wishing his protector was there with him and not in the bottom of some bear's stomach -

He stopped himself. Dad was probably fine…this was a big gag. The usual 'trick the kids ha ha' type thing the adults loved playing. This was nothing; Dad and Jeeves would appear any minute, everyone would laugh at the kids being stupid and they could make smores before going to bed -

Shit. No marshmallows. Damn Skunk.

No Dad either.

Buster, worried and beginning to get scared despite the rational part of his mind telling him to stay calm, looked around wildly as another deafening roar sounded through the forest, startling everyone except Foghorn.

"Cute kids," Foghorn said, stretching and yawing in a fake manner. "Was hoping we could have a calm night, get settled down and tell stories and try to make the best of the situation. Now ya'll have me running around the forest looking for a tape recording of a bear so I can get some sleep."

_Bear?_

Buster gulped painfully - this was not happening. There wasn't a bear - there couldn't be.

Wakko and Plucky started babbling almost incoherently, practically begging Foghorn to stay. Max stood, keeping Plucky behind him while yelling, almost demanding Jeeves show himself and stop this ridiculous behavior.

"Foghorn!" Bugs snapped, starting to shiver as he crept closer to the campfire and pointing to the woods. "Don't leave me here! There's only one beast out there! There's four right here I'm more worried about!"

"Yakko's here," Foghorn drawled, pulling out his mallet and casually propping the end over his shoulder. "Boy will protect you Bugs."

"Don't count on it," Yakko said, already eyeing the vehicles.

Buster relaxed slightly. Bugs wasn't the best driver in the most ideal of situations sometimes; he would be worse if he was nervous. But Yakko could drive - sort of. He hadn't killed them on the way back from the far side of the lake.

But Dad…

Buster sniffed, growing more upset as he watched the bushes shaking but trying to stay collected. The others were looking at him like they expected him to have all the answers.

Again.

Why was it no one wanted to listen to him until their lives were on the line and he was scared and panicked himself?

But he was the leader - or used to be - they acted like he was. They used to listen to him to some degree - he had gotten them out of a lot of shit because of his brains. And as pissed off as he was still, he didn't want to see them get eaten. He couldn't say 'told ya so' if they were dead.

But Bugs was still there; he was an adult. He was supposed to take care of them. And Yakko too; he didn't need to worry much.

Maybe he should; Bugs was trying to creep to the middle of the rapidly-coagulating cluster of boys, gibbering slightly about staying near the fire because monsters didn't like the light.

Buster decided he loved his god-father, but his god-father wasn't exactly the bravest person he had ever seen. But in a pinch he bet Bugs would step up to the plate, rally them all together to defeat whatever -

"Sonova - "

Buster jumped before running to Bugs, clinging to the trembling rabbit's slender frame as Foghorn's shout echoed through the woods. He hesitantly sniffed, not picking up any scents other than the usual odors he had smelled the last three days; pine, water, the other members of this doomed little cluster of scared -

The next thing he heard was a large groan before something was hurled violently through the campsite causing everyone to throw themselves on the ground. Buster wasn't sure how Plucky and Max ended up on top of him but didn't puzzle it out, pushing the others off him as he watched in horror as the object smashed against a far tree with an exploding sound. He squinted his eyes, trying to make it out but in the darkness all he could tell was it was large.

His horror grew as whatever it was burst and a soft poofing sound was heard as something began to rain softly and silently down on the campsite.

Feathers. White feathers.

Buster watched, his eyes widened and ignoring the gasps and moans around him as a single white feather floated down and landed on the tip of his nose.

Pushing back panic and fright he leapt to his feet.

Foghorn was dead. Shit. Jeeves too.

They both had guns and whatever was out in the woods just hurled Foghorn through the campsite like a baseball - no easy task. Buster hurried to join the others in a widening circle as they all backed away from the largest pile of feathers glowing brilliant white in the campfire.

_Dad…this was no joke by the adults…they wouldn't do anything like this, scaring them…they were way too mature and fuddy-duddy and Bugs and Yakko are scared too…_

_Gotta keep calm…must refrain from panicking…_

"Run!" Bugs screamed in a high pitch wail, sounding like a girl and hurling himself over the group like an Olympic jumper and causing the stunned group to leap in shock.

"Bugs wait!" Yakko screamed, trying to follow and pull Wakko off him at the same time.

Bugs didn't though; the rabbit was screeching towards his car at Toonspeed, his legs a dull blur and his hands in the air while screaming for someone to save him. Before anyone could even think of following the rabbit dove into the Mercedes like it was a swimming pool and shut the door.

In the silence of the camp, the single 'click' of the doors locking was deafening.

Buster looked closely, expecting Bugs to drive off, but the rabbit was crouching down low, only his frightened eyes and ears visible above the door jam.

"He left us! He left us! He left us!" Plucky started hyperventilating, his voice starting out low and growing in volume as he continued to chant.

Max put his own trembling hands over the duck's bill, silencing him as he looked towards Yakko.

"Let's go!" Yakko ordered, almost tossing Wakko to the ground before jerking Buster's arm and pushing him towards the woods. "Ehhhh…Bugs has valiantly lured the beast towards him by going to the vehicles!"

_What? He's cowering like Plucky after a horror movie marathon! _

"But - "

"Run!" Yakko shouted, driving them towards the thickest part of the woods and cutting Buster off. "We gotta stick together and hide!"

"Shouldn't we hide in the cars?" Max asked, swallowing hard as his eyes wildly looked from the vehicles to the woods to Yakko.

"Nah, Bugs has sacrificed himself to save us by luring the…ehhh…beast to him! Let his death be in vain! Go the other direction!"

Confused by the statement, panicked over his father and the death of all the adults, his friends screaming and crying wearing on his own strained nerves, Buster dashed towards their tent, wishing his father was there and hoping he could get well hidden.

"No Buster! This way!"

Buster turned in mid run at Yakko's yell, going back after the others just as another growl rumbled through the camp. Yakko herded them like a group of ducklings down the path, through some brush and thickets, and around the back portion of the lake, and Buster lost all sense of where he was.

The Disney lot hadn't been this large and confusing. He hoped Yakko knew where he was going or had a damn good map because if not, they were done for. He remembered Foghorn's tales of people getting lost in the mountains and how search and rescue parties had to come and find these people and Buster didn't want that…whatever was out there might find them before search and rescue.

His imagination overtaking his common sense, he could almost feel hot breath tickling his neck. Unsure if it was slobber being oozed from fangs dripping down his neck or his own panicked sweat he passed the others in a sprint and caught up with Yakko who was zigzagging down the path noisily like he had just taken a mallet shot.

Wakko caught up quickly as they ran down the path. Common decency caused him and Buster to look at each other and slow as they looked behind them. Buster signaled him to wait for their nemeses to reach them.

Best to stick together.

Panting slightly, Max looked around, pulling his mallet and taking a defensive stance.

"Put that away!" Buster ordered.

"Screw you rabbit!" Max yelled. "Whatever just threw Foghorn was no damn chickenhawk! I am not - "

"Monty, this isn't the time!" Buster snapped. "We need to think, not fight! And I think we - "

"You think? Stop being so damn bossy - "

"I'm not bossy! I'm just asking that you - "

"You boss us around like a pimp bosses around his hookers when they're giving away their goods!" Max snapped defensively, tightening his grip on his mallet and looking like he wanted to use it - whether on Buster or something else was debatable.

"What does that - "

"Shut up Wakko - intelligent people talking. Look, Monty, I'm not trying to boss you around," Buster said, struggling to keep his voice calm despite his fear.

Getting Max angry right now would cause him to do something stupid, no doubt making the others follow him. Probably right into the waiting jaws of some hideous beast.

"Can't you just listen to me? You used to think I had some sense," Buster almost begged, wishing Max and everyone else would stop fighting for five minutes so he could think, get everyone calm and come up with an idea to get them out of there before they were some rabid animal's main course.

"You better have come up with a good plan boy blue," Max said tersely while reluctantly putting his mallet away.

"Well give me a minute and I will!" Buster said defensively.

"Oh, you want to be leader but don't have any idea - "

"I never wanted to be leader!" Buster howled indignantly, cutting Plucky off as he spun around to face him. "Did you ever hear me say that? You think you can do it better?"

"Well, no - "

"Try appreciating it then!" Buster spat. "You idiots just always looked at me to solve everything and since I'm the only one that - "

"Well your pissy ordering - "

"He hasn't been pissy!" Wakko interrupted, jumping to Buster's defense. "Yeah, he's bossy but he's not - "

_Bossy?_

"I'm not going to sit here and wait to be eaten instead of fighting for - "

"You wanna try and fight whatever the hell that was?" Wakko asked incredulously. "Look, Buster, you can be as bossy as you want but figure out what to do!"

_As usual. _

Buster snorted though; he didn't think he was overly bossy. He just wanted to get the job done. He sighed; Dad had told him before it wasn't what you said, it was how you said it…

_Dad…this stupid trip._

"We need to get to town - or at least the hell out of here," Buster said. "We need help, and we need to stick together. I don't care how strong Max is, that just plucked Foghorn and tossed him around like - sorry Wak," he finished, forgetting momentarily when Wakko let out a small sob of despair. "Um…he might just need medical attention."

"Maybe," Wakko answered quietly, peering into the darkness behind them.

"Right. Get help. No one has keys, Bugs has gone crazy and left us…and we can't drive and we can't walk; we'll get picked off one by one. Any ideas Max?"

"Maybe…" Biting his lip for a moment, Max turned to Wakko. "This is your department; you think you can hotwire one of those cars?"

Frowning, Wakko shrugged, looking uncertain but Buster picked up an air of the boy being slightly flattered in spite of the fact his knees were knocking.

Or maybe it was Buster's own teeth chattering in fear; he couldn't decide.

"I can help," Plucky said quietly, stopping his beak from shaking in terror long enough to speak. "Tell me what to do; I can drive. I got the high score on 'Need for Speed'."

"Decent idea Max. Right, OK," Buster said, pleased despite his terror and ignoring Plucky. The idea of the duck driving made him cringe and scared him almost as much as whatever was pursuing them. "We can get to the town, get help; maybe the others are just…We need to get to town. Yakko can drive though," Buster finished firmly before turning, looking to the older boy for confirmation. "Right Yak…Yakko?"

_He's gone…_

"Oh no…Oh no oh no oh no…"

Buster turned; Wakko's petrified chanting had attracted everyone's attention. The older boy was gone, vanished silently off the path like he had been beamed out by aliens.

Something was picking them off one by one.

They were in big trouble.

Max put his hand on Wakko's shoulder in a comforting maneuver before the trees began moving, just slightly at first before shaking violently from up above.

Crap. This thing - whatever it was - was big.

And there was more of them; Buster heard twigs snapping and some sort of snarling coming from deep within the forest on all sides of them. The moon overhead wasn't giving enough light off for him to be able to make out anything clearly, but he could see several dark forms towering above them.

He paused, petrified, listening to the noises and the wind beginning to blow around them. He heard a thump behind him and hoped one of his friends hadn't just passed out on the path because he sure as hell couldn't carry any of them. He winced, hearing a shrill hooting sound over head, chilling his blink and he hoped his heart didn't pound out of his chest.

"Bus…Buster…Oh Bust…Busterer…" he heard Plucky stuttering behind him and in his fear induced panic Buster was vaguely reminded of himself and Plucky filming 'Hold that Ghost'.

If only this was a skit.

"Move!" Buster ordered, his voice cracking and not caring if he was being bossy or he looked like a baby as he pushed both Wakko and Max while giving Plucky a swift kick in his ass. They could berate him for being bossy later - at least they would be alive to bitch and moan about him.

Yelling, a few sobs of fear and one high-pitched wail of terror that Buster wasn't sure who made, he began shoving them down the trail.

They ran as one down the path, the first coordinated and mutual act of the entire miserable trip. They circled the camp until Plucky, almost incoherent he was so scared screamed they had run in a big circle before dropping to the ground in an exhausted slump, being grabbed by Wakko and physically dragged through the dirt.

Plucky managed to get himself together at their urging and they ran again, huffing and puffing up the trail.

Unsure where to lead them and growing almost too tired to move, Buster bolted towards the lake, planning on passing it and running all the way to scream for sanctuary at the town. Hell, he wished Smokey was there; while boring he would defiantly know what the hell was out in the woods.

It couldn't be a bear; it was something else. Aliens, zombies, Big Foot -

Buster's thoughts cut off as he felt his feet slipping beneath him. He felt himself fly briefly in the air as both feet shot out from underneath him and he screamed, having a horrible feeling that he just slipped in monster drool.

He landed in something soft and squishy…and mushy and brown…

Mud - he could feel it squishing in-between his toes, clinging to his ears, coating his entire body. He tried to pull his feet up, finally hearing one come free with a sickening slurping sound. He bet that was exactly what it would sound like when the monster chasing them finally caught them, breaking apart their bones and slurping the marrow inside.

He heard the others groaning or thrashing around beside him, catching Plucky's hand in his ear while Max roughly elbowed him in the ribs.

"Gerroff Plucky!"

"God damn you two!" Wakko yelped in fright and anger, trying to swim out of the mud and sinking further. "Great time for a stupid joke - "

"Not our doing Inksplot!" Plucky snapped back. "I wouldn't be in it if it was - "

"Then where the hell did the mud come from?"

"Hell if I know - and ours wasn't this deep!"

"Shut up and move dipshit!"

"Love to Monty; any suggestions?"

"Never mind I'll do it my damn self."

"You're bigger Max, you'll just sink faster," Plucky said flatly.

Buster felt Max grabbing him roughly by his collar, hauling him upwards slightly before he was totally buried in the slick mud. He slipped and both of them tumbled back, the wave they created knocking both Wakko and Plucky over again in a disorganized jumble of limbs and Wakko's tail sticking out of the mud like a periscope.

Trying to stand again on his own, Buster spat out a mouthful of mud. He failed; the mud was too deep and slick and their fighting and churning were just stirring it up more. Almost like he was watching someone else go through it, he could make out a limb overhead; Wakko and Plucky were too short but he or Max might have been able to reach it. If not they could have held up one of the smaller boys who might have been able to pull themselves to safety.

But now, they couldn't - they were mired down too far in the muck, and while he wasn't sure about the others, he knew he was done; his muscles were screaming in agony, his brain was frozen in crippling terror, and the adults may be sitting in the bottom of some monster's stomach.

He silently cursed even as he heard Max swearing quietly under his breath about knowing he should have said something before they all died and he just didn't think it would be this soon and he was really sorry.

Buster ignored him; he should have offered a few apologies himself to him and Plucky.

This was it - the creatures - whatever they were - were coming. He could see dark forms approaching - in the trees around the path, one in front of them, dark silhouettes barely outlined in the moonlight.

Secretly afraid he was going to wet himself and refusing to go down like that, Buster stood as much as he was able, reaching for his Hammerspace. He fumbled, too frightened to find the opening with his badly shaking hand. Since he didn't see anyone else pulling theirs either, he guessed he wasn't the only one too scared.

They had wasted too much time fighting with each other - if they had just stopped fighting for five minutes they might have been able to escape but now they were floundering in a mud hole and they may as well just roll in some flour and hop in a pan because they were about to get fried -

Why did he smell pumpkin?

Turning to follow his nose, Buster blinked as an object was thrown through the air at him rapidly. With no time to duck he watched it sail towards him in slow motion and closed his eyes with a shrill scream, expecting it to kill him.

Instead he felt it smash into his face, adding another layer of slime and goo to him.

Through the dirt he could taste the filling.

Pumpkin.

He looked up at the others yelling, seeing a whole horde of pies sailing out of the darkness at them and he tried to duck, but with his feet almost solidly planted in the muck, he was unable to move.

He managed to duck an apple pie that hit Max with a satisfying smushing sound, but Buster caught another pumpkin and a huckleberry. He was pretty sure there was a Boston Crème in there too, but with the myriad of other fillings coating his body, he couldn't be sure.

One thing he was sure of - it wasn't monsters. Not in the sense that he had been thinking.

As the onslaught of bakery items slowed and the yelling began to die down, Buster heard something else - snickers. A few chortles. Even a chuckle.

Damn it. They had been had. They all looked like total idiots, coated in mud and pie filling and stuck in a mud hole. They were never, ever going to live this one down.

Looking closer at one of the silhouettes, Buster surmised that Bugs was the one off to the left - he should have known his godfather wouldn't have left them; what had he been thinking?

Buster was positive Yakko was the one higher up in a tree, rocking back and forth and making the stupid hooting calls. Foghorn had to be the brick wall blocking the path in front of them.

He sighed in relief though; Dad had to the one that was following him - turning his head just the right way, Buster could see a glint of moonlight glinting off his glasses. What monster wears glasses?

"Hoooo - "

"Cut the corn Yakko," Bugs' voiced drawled out of the darkness. "I think they figured it out by now."

"Right sure," Yakko cheerfully called back and making Wakko almost moan in relief. "By the way Bugs, fantastic acting back there, being terrified and all. Or was it an act? I don't think even you can act that well and - "

Buster heard the rest of Yakko's words go garbled as something flew through the air, caught him in the face and knocked him out of the tree. The boy's laughter intermixed with his weak groan told Buster he probably wasn't hurt that bad.

Not that he would have minded. Well, maybe a little. He'd mind less if they would help them get out of the mud hole.

"You four - I say - you four disappeared out of that camp quicker than meat in a piranha tank," Foghorn said, slowly ambling towards them. "Might have been more successful for you, if you had tried working together - "

"And not fought so much," Dad said, sending another wave of relief washing over Buster. "Now what are you going to do?"

"Probably pull more pranks on each other, or me," Bugs moaned. "I'm sleeping in the car."

"I dare say you are stuck," Jeeves said, appearing on the other side of the hole. "I suggest leaving them there for the night - "

The butler was cut off by yells of protests, Buster chiming his own in. While not surprised that the adults could work together quite happily and pull off a massive prank, he was a bit surprised they had done it. But, they had been warned to cut it out and they looked like they were enjoying it too much. He wouldn't put it past them to leave them out there all night.

Luckily his father didn't seem inclined to torture him as much as the other adults.

Jeeves was smirking down at them, saying something about how this wasn't in his employment contract and he would have to ask for hazard pay. He said he might help Plucky out though since he was by a slight margin less of a pain.

Bugs and Foghorn discussed what real creatures were in the woods. They guessed that they were waiting for them - the larger older ones - to leave. The creatures would then pounce on the weak defenseless stuck members of the herd who were younger and no doubt more tender.

Yakko seemed happy to poke Wakko with a stick, declaring that he wasn't quite tender enough yet and marinating overnight would no doubt improve his taste and texture. Wakko did retaliate and throw a mud ball at him, catching him in the side of the head after wailing about Yakko being 'against them' - he wasn't an adult yet.

But Dad was leaning over, holding out his hand to him.

Gratefully, Buster took it, happy to have the help to get out of the hole. He even threw his arms around his father and hugged him, pushing down any feeling of being embarrassed by showing his father some public emotion.

He had lost his book, and he regretted it. But it just wasn't the most important thing to him.

_End Chapter 7_


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHORS NOTE: This is the last chapter of 'Friends'; I will be updating 'Family' shortly, hopefully within the next couple of weeks.

I do thank everyone that's read this ~ especially if you left a review. I hope everyone liked it. I know I'm happy; not only did I actually get to write a story and delve a bit deeper into some of my favorite characters, I've actually managed to finish a story. Thanks to _LittleTiger488_ and _DancesWithCorpses_ for being my betas and self-esteem cheerleaders....again. I couldn't have done it without them.

And just as a teaser for all the Dot fans out there – whether I like the character or not, I am planning on a side story with her to come out at some point.

Enjoy.

Chapter 8 – Back to Normal

_How the hell does this shit come off?_

_Stupid Mime and whining about his stupid hat. He shouldn't even wear a hat; looks like some furball Dennis-the-Menace wannabe running around in it._

_Should have left it but nooooooo, I had to take it as a spoils of war like I was gonna do anything with it besides gloat for a while before tossing it in the fireplace and watching it burn to a cinder._

Growing frustrated but mentally crossing his fingers in hope, Montana dunked the hat in the lake again. If he plunged it into the water enough times the white stitching might actually come clean. Biting his lip he pulled it out of the water and looked at it.

Alas. Still dingy.

Sitting back against a rock he pulled out the bottle of dishwashing liquid he had pilfered out of Foghorn's supplies and poured it on the white stitching. Perhaps if he simply drenched it and left it on there it would chase the dirt out.

He was half tempted to just give it back to the Mime the way it was. Surely he would be happy to just have it back? He or his brother could clean it up…right?

Montana almost started to stand, thinking that would be easier. Then he wouldn't have to sit there and scrub it to try to get it to some semblance of clean like it had been prior to his flinging Wakko up into the trees. No one could hold him responsible because the hat had landed in the dirt and gotten filthy could they?

It would be easier…

But, Jeeves had said before that just because something was easier didn't make it better. The butler was not a big fan of shortcuts.

Montana sighed, unwilling to think about the butler at the moment. He would think about him later. After he had a chance to think of something to say to the man that would not sound trite or insincere.

Other than a couple of sarcastic comments along the lines of 'would you like assistance removing yourself from the hole Mister Max? That is within the boundaries of my contract I believe' Jeeves had not spoken to him.

The butler had helped him and Plucky out of the mud hole eventually, escorted them to the lake to get cleaned up and had sat next to them when they got back to camp and everyone was winding down for the night.

But he had not spoken, not to him. Jeeves had been fairly talkative with everyone else, enjoying his coffee around the fire after scaring the shit out of everyone under the age of thirteen.

Other than asking if he required anything before he retired, Jeeves had mostly ignored him, an unusual feeling Montana did not care for. Even when Jeeves was angry at him for some misdeed the butler had always wished him a 'good night'.

Last night he had not.

Not that Montana blamed him.

Lying in his sleeping bag next to Jeeves and a still slightly spooked Plucky, Montana had almost spoken, wanting to beg him to stay and that he was being a jerk and he was sorry. He almost would have said anything Jeeves wanted to hear in order to get him to stay though.

Pride had stilled his tongue though, and he hadn't said anything. Eventually Montana had heard first Plucky, then Jeeves drift off to sleep.

Montana had lain awake half the night trying to find the correct words to tell the man in the morning, but despite his own vast vocabulary he hadn't come up with anything better than 'I'm sorry' which seemed so…crude. Unfinished - like there should be more to the statement, about how he knew that he had wounded the butler and had no idea how to adequately express how apologetic he was.

Only knowing it was extremely late, Montana had fallen into a fitful sleep at some point; when he had awoken the sun had not risen. A quick check of his watch told him that it would not be too long. He had debated just crawling back into the sleeping bag and staying there forever before coming up with a different idea. Lying in bed would only waste time when he could be doing something worthwhile.

Angry at himself but determined to try to patch at least one of his friendships he had decided to sneak out of the tent and head to the lake. He doubted he would get in trouble - it wasn't like Jeeves was speaking to him. Since he had changed their unusual relationship to 'employer and employee', Montana doubted Jeeves would actually give him a dressing down for it. It was not 'protocol' to scold your employer.

The way Jeeves was acting, he probably wouldn't say anything at all, which Montana found actually hurt. Jeeves was - or had been - a pain in the ass at times but he had worried enough to be a pain in the ass. The cold, businesslike indifference was a nasty contrast and reminded him of his father and their own strained relationship.

Montana sighed; those days were over and it was totally his fault. He wanted to cry but blinked the urge back. He was no longer an infant and he had no one to blame for the disintegration of that bond except himself. Jeeves would never forgive him - the most he could hope for would be that the butler would begin calling him 'Master Montana' again before he departed for England in a few months.

Unwillingly he had imagined what that would be like. How much would his life change?

His family would get a new butler of course. And whoever it was would probably be just as good as Jeeves at his job. His family hired the best and paid their help well, mostly because Mother and Father's bitchy high-brow attitudes when they were there would not encourage employees to stay unless the wages were top notch.

Or they found another reason to stay on and put up with the job. Montana doubted that being the butler to a rich snobby family's American domicile that only housed one child and was visited a handful of times a year by his parents was all that rewarding whether the pay was excellent or not.

His life in that regards would go on much like before. The new butler would undoubtedly be able to pay the household bills, take him to his classes or activities or find some way to transport him and would continue to cook. He would find any additional tutors that Montana required if it was something that Jeeves had formally tutored him in. He would be able to run the house, serve tea or handle a twenty guest dinner party and answer the door and serve his father brandy in the study when he bothered to come to America from England.

Montana would no longer have to worry about trying to convince Jeeves he needed to call his cousin over at Sega and have him sneak out a copy of the newest video game before it hit the market. Jeeves had never told him no, but he seemed to enjoy torturing Montana, making him almost beg and squirm and try to think up a thousand different reasons why he should get it early. When Montana was at the point of begging and howling in frustration Jeeves would laugh and finally relent, calling his cousin to have a copy shipped to them.

Montana sighed; fine. He could just demand the new butler buy it for him when it hit the shelves. Unlike Plucky, he wouldn't up and die if he didn't get the newest game in his hands the minute the cartridge was put together.

Maybe it wouldn't be…bad.

He probably wouldn't ever have to worry about getting in trouble for missing curfew or going where he wasn't supposed to. He'd never have to endure another damned lecture about how 'a proper young gentleman' should behave or how something would be a 'learning experience' or how doing something he didn't want to do would be 'character building'.

The new butler would probably be the usual 'yes man' that most stereotypical butlers were, simply there to collect a paycheck, like the character actor that played his butler on 'Tiny Toons'. Montana could simply ring for him and the man would appear, let him scream at him for five minutes and then disappear until the next time he wanted something or to throw a tantrum.

No, the new butler would probably be much easier to deal with. He would never have to worry about any of that anymore. Hell, the new butler might be so unconcerned about his behavior he'd never get punished for anything again. He'd never have to polish a piece of silverware again or have to write a book report because he got a bit too cheeky with Jeeves.

This would be exactly what he wanted. No more rules and regulations and restraints. Absolute freedom. No more lectures or being forced to do something.

Life would be great.

Montana tried to convince himself of that.

No matter how hard he tried or how he worded it to himself, he failed. His life would be completely wrecked.

But maybe…maybe it would be better for Jeeves. The man had put up with a lot from him over the years; maybe he was just tired of it and missed his real family. Jeeves could go back to England and continue on with his life, being able to visit with his sister and her family and no doubt happy to have finally gotten rid of his ungrateful ass.

God he would miss him and his dry sense of humor and his long insufferable lectures. He'd miss having Jeeves force him to do something and when he'd sulk and demand to be left alone the butler telling him how 'character building' it would be.

He'd miss telling Jeeves about his day. He'd miss their casual dinners, both of them sitting at the table eating and him filling in the butler on whatever prank or joke he and the others had pulled.

He wouldn't have anyone there to watch when he was at his fencing competitions.

Jeeves would frequently get in the pool with him, challenging him to laps or just goofing around. They currently had an ongoing chess game; whenever one of them walked by the board set up in the foyer they would make a move; Jeeves was beating him quite soundly thus far.

He would never have the opportunity to sit and watch 'Green Acres' with him again since Jeeves had an addiction to old American comedies that he should probably seek treatment for at some point. But as much as Montana picked on Jeeves for it and tried to convince him to watch something filmed in the last decade he still routinely sat on the couch in Jeeves' room with him and watched anyway. Sometimes he would flip over to watch BBC or something else from his home country and explain to Montana what his life had been like growing up.

His own family did not want him except as the heir to the Max family name and the one person who did want him to associate with him he had chased off with his own bitchy attitude, showing that the apple might not fall far from the tree after all.

He tried not to be like Father but he really was his father's son after all.

With a regretful look towards the still sleeping Jeeves, Montana had managed to push all his feeling back and crawl over the butler and the snoring Plucky and creep stealthily out of the tent. He would apologize to the duck later. It wasn't the first time he had to say he was sorry for something he said or did to Plucky despite his claim that Montana had only apologized three times since he had known him. Montana knew he had apologized way more times than that. And hadn't for a few times he should have.

He put up with a lot from Plucky, but the duck put up with just as much shit from him. And Plucky had been talking to him last night, even if he was mostly telling him he was an idiot and just threw away something Plucky himself would actually kill for most times.

His relationship with Jeeves was undoubtedly damaged permanently, but he could try to salvage the other ones. If nothing else, he had learned from Jeeves that if he really messed up, saying sorry would go a long way.

Saying sorry and repairing something he damaged would go further. If only it would be that simple with the butler.

But Wakko was simple, as far as apologizing would go. He would give Wakko his hat back; just sneak down to the lake and rinse it off. And while he was down there no one would see him and bother him since no one had been awake.

He just didn't realize how hard the damn thing would be to clean. He had no idea how long he had been down there, but it seemed like forever.

He wished Jeeves was speaking to him, if only so he could ask him the best way to clean it since his dunk-it-repeatedly method was not proving to be too successful. Jeeves had some crazy concoction he mixed up in the kitchen occasionally to remove stains that he had shown him years ago. Yet another 'learning experience', this one due to Montana having used the fancy linen to try to clean up a spill in the wine cellar and trying to lie about it.

Years later he was still pissed Jeeves made him scrub them clean. Jeeves said he knew he wasn't allowed in the wine cellar - he could get hurt and there was no reason for him to be down there. The bottle broke because he had been playing down there. He had been careless enough to grab the fancy linen to attempt to clean up the spill, not to mention trying to lie about it, he would have to scrub the linen clean as well - after wiping up the spilled wine.

Plus he got grounded. Very unfair all the way around. All Jeeves had cleaned up was the broken glass.

But Jeeves' lesson had worked. He hadn't snuck down to the wine cellar in years and he wouldn't touch the fancy linen now even if he cut his arm off and it was the only fabric in the house in which to make a tourniquet. He had never lied to Jeeves again - the threat of what would happen the next time he lied to him was enough to make Montana rethink the idea. He would try to talk around whatever he was being accused of doing, he would offer excuses, he would try to change the subject, but he rarely lied. Jeeves was the one that would help him if he got into some sort of trouble - all in all, it simply made the most sense to be honest with him.

And damned if Jeeves' little recipe didn't work. That linen had ended up spotless…after a few hours of scrubbing.

He wished he had the stuff for it now. Montana was pretty certain that no one had lemon juice and vinegar lying around and even if they did, he wouldn't ask - they would want to know why he wanted it.

Too bad. After having learned the recipe he had used it several times, mostly to clean up some of the more interesting messes he or one of the others had created. He had almost laughed at the other's faces the first time he had started demanding lemon juice and vinegar; he rarely cleaned but he had the basic idea of how it was done.

Sighing, he pulled out a sponge and began scrubbing at the lettering gently so he would not do more damage to it. Hopefully Wakko would appreciate it. He wasn't sure how he was going to give it to the boy, but figured that if he just threw it at him when they all eventually piled in the cars to go home Wakko would understand the gesture. He wasn't stupid.

He wondered if it would be enough. Wakko was a forgiving sort, he had been since Montana had met him, but they had been dreadful to each other, Buster too.

As he dunked the hat he wondered if he should approach Buster as well. Buster was a bossy bastard and seemed to think no one but himself had any sense sometimes but he counted the bunny as one of his closest friends. Losing him would sting just as badly as any of the others.

_And damn it, Buster would be easier to talk to…because this fucking hat isn't coming clean!_

Fuming and annoyed to the point he was about to toss it in the lake and just buy Wakko a new hat, Montana felt a presence behind him about a second before a shadow engulfed his hunched over form.

And there was only one person who had sneaking up on him down to an art form.

_Bloody hell._

Montana was dreading trying to talk to Wakko. But, after their fright and humiliation in the woods, the Mime had been slightly more tolerable.

Well, they weren't talking still.

But if they weren't talking they weren't fighting and that was tolerable enough for now. And Wakko had tried to apologize a few times; he was just too stubborn to listen to him.

But while there was hope Wakko would accept his apology and start speaking to him, Montana had no such certainty with this one.

He leapt up from his crouch and quickly stuffed the hat in his pocket, turning to face him. Montana didn't want him to see what he was doing. If he saw Jeeves would undoubtedly make some smart assed comment about doing it for him since he was the 'help' and that was what he was paid for.

For whatever reason, Montana wanted to do it.

"Out for a morning constitutional Mister Max?"

Montana gritted his teeth at the question, mostly so he wouldn't beg Jeeves to stop calling him that. It was humiliating; it was causing some curious looks from everyone each time Jeeves spoke it.

Not to mention every time he said it, Montana felt like it was a small slap in the face, reminding him of what he had said before.

"Yeah, looking at the water," Montana finally muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck for a moment while trying to act disinterested in the butler.

_Say something stupid._

"Do you require assistance sir?"

"To look at the water? No, I think I can handle that on my own."

_Stop being a smart ass and just say sorry!_

"Very well sir."

"I - "

"If you do not require any assistance, I shall return to camp to prepare for breakfast and begin packing our belongings for the return trip."

_Wonderful; I can hardly wait. Return to a cold house with none of the occupants speaking except in clipped precise tones and doing their best to avoid looking at each other. It shall be like Mother or Father being home except that I will not have their departure to look forward to._

_I would rather be left in the woods; I will be just as alone here._

"Jeeves, wait - "

"Yes sir?"

Montana opened his mouth, getting ready to speak but lost his nerve at the last moment, especially under Jeeves' dispassionate look.

"Never mind," he muttered, turning his back briefly to look back out over the lake and feeling Wakko's sodden hat weighing down the right side of his jacket and soaking it. "I'll figure it out."

"As you wish Mister Max. If you will excuse me."

With that Jeeves turned on his heel, disappearing up the trail leading back to the camp.

Montana sighed, running a hand through his hair and swearing at himself for not saying something. For his first time alone with Jeeves since the incident, that had been just as awkward and uncomfortable as he imagined.

The ride home would no doubt be worse. Then actually getting home, something he had been begging for all weekend, wouldn't be a relief. It would just be the beginning of a new nightmare. Even the thought of calling Mary did not bring much cheer.

Plucky used to spend so much time at his house Montana had seriously thought of giving the duck one of the six bedrooms there. It now looked like he might be spending more time at Plucky's house now.

He turned, mostly to confirm that Jeeves was gone before going back to trying to get the hat clean with lake water and dishwashing soap.

Jeeves was gone, disappeared back up into the woods and no doubt enjoying a cup of coffee with the other adults. Even now they were all probably thanking the deity of their choice that this weekend was finally over and swearing to never, ever do anything with the children again.

But there were objects on the ground where he had been. Salt, vinegar and a bottle of lemon juice sitting in a small blue bowl, a toothbrush lying on the rock beside it.

Montana sighed testily; he hadn't said a word and Jeeves still knew what was going on. He had thought he hid the hat well enough, but Jeeves moved just as soundlessly around the woods as he did at the house.

Should have known he would have snuck up on him. But, even if he had seen what he was doing, at least he didn't have any smart-assed comments about doing it for him.

Montana was curious why Jeeves had not said anything, especially since he obviously knew what he was doing but decided to not be to crabby about it. At least Jeeves had the ingredients on hand to make his foul smelling but effective stain remover.

Sighing and not looking forward to what the rest of the day would bring, Montana began to mix the ingredients, wrinkling his nose at the smell. When he was done he started to gently dap at the embroidery, pleased to see the coffee-brown stain slowly fading from the lettering while trying to formulate in his mind what he was going to do.

XXXXXXXXX

_Have to find it! Because if I don't - _

_Breathe dude._

_OK, don't think like that. Because you were gonna leave it behind. So, if you don't find it, it's not a big deal…right? It wasn't ever like you were gonna do anything with it._

Buster shifted his weight back to his heels momentarily, wiping at his forehead. Fifteen minutes of searching through leaves and brambles and dirt and still nothing. No sign of his missing book.

If he didn't find it in the next few minutes he would have to head back. When he had told his father he wanted to take one last walk in the woods, Dad had nodded but told him not to be long.

Buster snorted; what had he expected? To just wander down the path they had all been tripping down in terror last night and just see it sitting there like a prize? After their panicked dash down the path it had no doubt been buried in the mud.

He cast a glance towards the mud hole, wondering how long it had taken the adults to dig it. Probably not long - after getting everyone clean the adults had a good laugh about it around the fire. They knew the value of teamwork plus they had pointed out if the kids had been working together they would have no doubt figured out they were being fooled to some degree.

Buster didn't think so - Yakko leading them and Bugs going chicken had sort of thrown them off course. But he would think twice about saying the adults were too old to pull pranks again.

Him and his big mouth.

Well, maybe not all him - the others had helped. At least Wakko admitted he had sort of asked for it too. Of course Max's moody ass didn't offer anything constructive to the conversation and he had just sat on the log next to the babbling Plucky and rather relaxed looking Jeeves.

Buster shook his head; he had liked Max. When not in one of his moods he was a lot of fun and he had thought the other boy had plenty of good qualities to outweigh his bad ones.

Then again he had thought the same of Plucky.

He sighed. Maybe their good qualities didn't outweigh the negative ones after all.

No matter what he didn't see their friendship resuming when they returned home. Neither boy seemed inclined to apologize and even if they did, Buster wasn't sure he would accept.

The bossy comment had stung. He wasn't bossy - he didn't think. He just was usually the one that thought things through most times and it wasn't his fault that none of them could come up with a decent plan. Well, most times; sometimes one of them could surprise him.

Of course Wakko had agreed and said sometimes he was bossy…

Buster rubbed the bridge of his nose. Fine. Maybe he was a little bossy and had a habit of ordering them rather than asking them to do something. And yeah he had a habit of ignoring their ideas in favor of his own. He'd have to work on it; he would admit he made mistakes too.

If Max or Plucky approached him, maybe he would accept an apology, or at least talk to them. He wasn't sure Wakko would, but then again Wakko was notoriously forgiving. If coaxed with enough pretty words and given a halfway decent apology, Wakko would accept.

Buster rolled his eyes. Too many 'ifs' or 'maybes'. If someone did this, maybe this would happen…odds were no one would say anything. As angry as they had been prior to running for their lives, Buster didn't see things changing overnight.

Their team was most likely finished; at most they might begin an uneasy truce at some point, nothing beyond saying 'hey what's up' at some function or if they ran into each other at the mall.

Buster closed his eyes, starting to realize what he had lost. Babs was great - hell - she was as good as any of the guys most times, but the guys were something special.

He had really enjoyed playing with them, whether it was a video game marathon or their makeshift little band which was starting to sound pretty good. Buster had been quite proud of himself for figuring out where each of their talents lay and assigning them their unofficial roles.

And they had had so much more to look forward to together…

Birthdays were coming up. Wakko's season was finished; they all would have been hanging out together, enjoying the time off and each others company and teasing the girls, just being young and looking forward to becoming teenagers and all the excitement and adventure that would entail…

Maybe it would be better - Max and Plucky had more bad qualities than he wanted to deal with, he decided with a firm nod.

While intelligent, protective and loyal, Max could have a nasty sarcastic streak, an explosive temper and an attitude that was hard to deal with at times. Max's towering sense of pride and haughty attitude also made him difficult to deal with. Plus his saying that Buster was bossy - a total lack of respect for not only his feelings but his intelligence - had hurt.

But for the last time…He wouldn't need to worry about that anymore.

Plucky would rewire a stereo and make it a popcorn maker if he wanted to, but Buster had gotten into enough trouble for some of the things Plucky had tinkered with at his house. Dad still wasn't over Plucky 'improving' the blender, mostly because the strawberry ice cream they had shoved in there had left pink splatter stains on the ceiling. And sure he could beat any video game put into his feathered hands, but really, was that worth putting up with his sarcastic nature, moodiness and ego? Not to mention the racist comments, though Buster had to admit they had slowly been dying off.

Wakko…thank God the other boy had talked to him last night. Buster had been wary but secretly relieved when Wakko had hunted him up to talk, apologizing for dragging him into the entire mess with Max. And thankfully, Wakko had accepted his own apology.

They were OK - they were just missing the other two members of their little troop.

The 'Fab Four' was no more. It was the end of a powerful friendship and for all his intelligence and talents Buster had no idea how to fix it. A simple 'sorry' probably wouldn't breach the gap, not this time.

Depressed, he buried his face in his hands for a moment. Damn he'd miss those idiots and all the crap they put him through.

He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind; it was over and done with. At least he and Wakko were talking again - things were a little tense, but that was to be expected. Wakko had already invited him to come spend the night over at the tower, something he probably wouldn't have done if he didn't want to deal with Buster and his bossy attitude. And of course his invitation to stay at Buster's house was as open as it ever was.

Buster was happy to know he wouldn't leave the woods totally friendless.

But while happy he had his best friend back, he wanted his book back almost as badly. And he was running out of time.

He glanced around; further up the path was where he and Wakko had gotten Max and Plucky with the skunk. If he had been paying more attention yesterday he would have recognized the area and been more wary. Max and Plucky had chosen almost the exact same spot to put their snares.

The book could have been lost anywhere, and with its dark brown cover it would blend into the dirt and leaves. He would never find it. He had almost asked Wakko to come help him, let him in on his dirty little secret but had stopped at the last minute. He just got his best friend back - he didn't want the other boy to laugh at him like he was a nerd, upset over losing some stupid writings.

And he had decided to leave it behind last night, not to write anymore…no one would ever know…

Shit. He would know.

With a sigh he almost dove towards another pile of leaves, tossing them over his shoulder in his haste.

"If you're looking for snares relax; we didn't lay anymore."

With a startled yelp Buster sat up, feeling a few pine needles clinging to his hair and fur. That was definitely a voice he didn't want to hear right now. He turned, his eyes already narrowed to glare at the figure on the path.

Max. Holding a hat - Wakko's hat.

Damn jerk.

Why had he been upset over losing his friendship?

"Come to gloat that you got the last prank in Max?" Buster asked, already going into defensive mode as he stood, brushing at the top of his head. "Might wanna give that back to the person you stole it from - I doubt it will fit your big head."

"Shut up you blue dust bunny," Max snorted, taking a few hesitant steps towards him. "I didn't come here to prank your silly ass, not this time."

Buster waited, tensing up and preparing to grab his mallet. Max was strong and quick; he wasn't going to let his guard down and have the other boy beat him to a pulp. He watched, surprised, as Max absently rubbed at the back of his neck - one of his telltale signs of being uncomfortable.

"What do you want Max?" Buster hissed, trying to cover his nervousness with a false sound of bravado. If Max detected weakness he would probably spring a surprise attack.

"Look, truce OK?" Max finally said, looking awkward. "I just wanted to talk."

Buster eyed him for a moment. Max seemed somewhat sincere…but Max was also slick and a good liar when the need arose.

Well, he might be able to lure others into a false sense of security. Buster knew him better.

But damn it he really sounded sincere, his voice awkward and hesitant and weary.

Buster wanted to believe him but he began to scan the surrounding woods, already excepting a trap of some sort. He was separated from Wakko and had no backup. Plucky could be hiding somewhere, ready to pull a rope to spring whatever trap these two had decided to lay out.

"Why me Max?" Buster asked. "I thought I was the bossy pain in the ass - "

"Well you are!" Max snapped before inhaling, looking like he was trying to calm down. "But…you're also the most level headed of the four of us."

"The four of us?" Buster laughed unpleasantly. "I think we're pretty well split now, thanks to you - "

"And Wakko," Max said simply. "I know you two are still buddy-buddy, but you can't seriously pin it all on me. I know I didn't drop a skunk on myself or kill a car battery of my own choosing. You forget about that? Or are you going to continue to claim you knew nothing about it?"

Sighing, Buster again asked, "What do you want Max?" Glancing around again he asked, "Where's your partner in crime? He getting ready to sneak around and pie my ass or something?"

"No, I just…um…"

"Wakko's at the camp - can't really prank him with the adults around. Guess that's why you came after me - because I'm the one alone?"

"No! Buster, look, I just want to say - "

"So, whatcha got planned now?" Buster accused. "Gonna try to have me step in a bear trap next?"

"No! I never tried to cause you an injury! I wanted to talk to you and say sor- "

"Yeah, rabbit snares - on a rabbit!" Buster shot back, talking over him. "That wasn't dangerous at all! My nose is still sore - "

"Hey, that damn skunk could have hurt me but you seemed to conveniently forget that when you were dropping it on my head!"

"We didn't drop it on your head!" Buster yelled, clenching his fists. "And we tried to say sorry but you didn't want to listen! And now I can see you're trying to do it again, have me apologize and beg for forgiveness so you can tell everyone that you - "

"No I am not! I'm trying to apologize to your bloody ass! Damn it I thought you would be the easiest to talk to since you're the smartest of us!" Max snapped. Turning to leave he added, "You know what - never mind. Keep pawing through the leaves and looking for traps, I don't care. I have no idea why I bothered to say anything."

Buster watched him starting to walk off and struggled to calm himself. Max had come to apologize? Him? Buster wondered if Jeeves or someone made him or if he chose to on his own.

He went through his own memories, knowing he was acting unreasonable now. Max would apologize on occasion if he really screwed up - and without prodding.

And it wasn't like he was the only one that had to apologize for anything…

"Monty, just…just wait," Buster sighed, stepping warily onto the path and swearing he would never, ever even entertain the notion of even speaking to Max if he was luring him into some sort of trap. Taking a few steps towards him he added, "Fine, we'll talk."

Max turned, looking over his shoulder and asked, "No traps? No tricks?"

Buster shook his head, watching Max. He seemed genuine, and while he was extremely slick, Buster figured he knew him well enough to talk.

"Not if you're on the level."

Max nodded.

"Fine."

Buster waited for a moment before deciding he might have to prod Max a bit. Max sometimes wanted to apologize but for all his big talk most times he seemed clueless on how to start. And as usual, now that he was agreeing to talk to him, Max looked like he had no idea of what to say.

"Well?" He asked, crossing his arms. "You did come to me. So…talk."

Running a hand through his hair Max said, "Look, I know you probably do not want anything to do with me, and I can not say I blame you but…"

Taking a deep breath and looking like he was gaining some confidence in what he was about to say he continued while Buster waited.

"I just wanted to say I was sorry - this whole weekend's been an almost unending nightmare. " Max said, sounding like he was trying to push as many words out in the same breath. "But now that it is ending…" He took a deep breath before saying, "I didn't want it to end, especially not like this. I have pissed off Jeeves to the point that he is going to resign - "

_Resign? _

Buster blinked while Max continued to drone on. Max might never admit it, but that would kill him. Buster knew he liked the butler and he again wondered what happened.

Now wouldn't be the time to ask.

" - and I will be losing my family; I do not want to lose my friends too," Max continued, his voice firm but with a slight begging intonation behind it. Slumping his shoulders and momentarily glaring at the ground he muttered, "I'm sorry; I hope you will accept my apology. I let this all get out of hand. I should have just listened to you from the beginning and - "

"Monty, just chill pal," Buster said, slightly touched.

"I do not even know what else to say. I could have just ignored you and Wakko, I could have told Plucky to settle down, I could have tried to just make the best of a bad situation but I chose not to and this blew out of proportion. And you did not deserve what I said - you are not that bossy most times and Wakko is not as much of an idiot as I said he was. Even your voice cracking is not as bad as I made it out to be."

That had to be one of the most sincere and heartfelt speeches he had ever heard from Max, almost Oscar worthy. Buster continued to study Max as he stood straighter and looked him in the eye. Max had his usual perfect posture but he was giving off the hopeful air of a puppy that was begging to be adopted.

Buster eyed him for a few more moments, detecting no sign of deceit. Max's usual snippy tone made it difficult for him to give an apology without it coming off as sardonic and insincere, but this time he seemed sincere - no tricks, no guile, just…apologetic.

Still too much pride, but he had come to say he was sorry, he wanted to be friends…could Buster really turn him down? One of his chief complaints about Max was his haughty attitude and his complete disregard for Buster's feelings yet here he was, hat in hand so to speak…

If Max of all people could offer that humble an apology, he could do the same.

"It's not like you're the only one who screwed up this weekend. I could have ignored a lot of it or tried harder to calm Wakko down - you know how he gets - but I went along and did the pranks just as eagerly as he did." Sighing he admitted, "And I know I get bossy sometimes; I get in my head that I'm the only one that can think and ignore what you guys say sometimes and I don't mean too. Out of all of us you're the most well read and spoken - "

"For all the good it's done me. I have lost my family and my friends - "

"Don't start the poor little rich boy shtick Monty; it doesn't sit well on you," Buster warned.

He knew Max hated the saying being applied to him with a passion. Max scowled at him and Buster smirked; when Max got too down on himself it was easy to make the comparison. Then Max would get angry and snap himself right out of his funk.

"I won't ask what happened with Jeeves - "

"Something I have got to try to work out with him," Max muttered.

" - but you haven't lost all your friends," Buster said, going forward to him. "Definitely not me. I'm sorry - I'm sorry that we fought, I'm sorry you had a miserable weekend, I'm sorry for every insult I've ever thrown your way." Holding out his hand to Max he asked, "Forgiven?"

Max eyed his hand for a moment like he expected Buster to have a joy buzzer hidden in it. Buster continued to hold it out and sighed in relief when Max grasped it tightly for a moment.

He had figured Max would never apologize - maybe the trip had done him some good after all. Max had shown some maturity anyway, coming to him to apologize. Buster hated to admit it to himself, but pride would have forced him not to go to Max or Plucky to talk, at least for a very long time.

"Forgiven," Max said firmly before releasing his hand. "I'm glad we could work this out."

"Me too," Buster admitted, feeling a stupid grin split his face.

"Get that look off your face rabbit. You look like you're about to start singing from happiness - "

"Hey!" Buster snapped, shoving Max lightly on the shoulder. "Stop being an ass."

"Apparently, I can not help it," Max smirked. "This is no Disney movie - "

"I was gonna sing for Babs when we got back."

He would too - nothing real romantic, leave that crap for Wakko. But he'd find something to sing for her.

"Thanks for warning me; I shall be sure to purchase earplugs," Max said snidely. "Personally I do not think Babs has done anything to deserve it but…" he shrugged. "When you decide to do it, know you still have your bass guitarist. Even if the rest of the band is pretty much gone."

_It's like the Beatles, except there's no Yoko everyone can blame. We destroyed ourselves._

Buster shook his head.

_Maybe with a little work we can get our unofficial lead singer and piano player back. And our drummer._

"Thanks. At least I have most of my friends back."

"Plucky?" At Buster's look Max shrugged. "Plucky is…Plucky. He's calmed down though still angry at me for…something that happened before…If you talk to him he will listen."

"Who knows with him," Buster said, sighing but still happy. "I'm just happy I'm talking to you and Wakko again. I was afraid I would have to hang out with Hampton."

"I would rather be left in the woods," Max said, smirking. "I try to only associate with people who are worthy of my time."

_There's the Max we all love to hate._

"Max, you're an asshole - don't ever change," Buster laughed, happy to be slipping back into his easy comradery with the other boy. Frowning for a moment he gestured towards Wakko's hat still hanging limply in Max's hand. "What are you going to do with that?"

Max paused before thrusting the hat at him.

"Just…give this back for me would you?"

"Give it back yourself," Buster said, wrinkling his nose at the soggy cap. "I'm almost afraid to ask why it's wet."

"Because I washed it."

Buster raised an eyebrow at him. Max barely knew what a sponge's function was. Sure, he had helped clean up some messes they had all made - mostly because if the mess was cleaned up it couldn't be pinned on them. But Max rarely volunteered or willingly cleaned.

Max broke into his stunned reverie by adding, "Don't look at me like that - I know perfectly well how to clean; I just rarely choose to do it. And that was filthy. You know…I don't know, I thought it would be nice if I cleaned it up."

Buster raised his other eyebrow.

_Nice?_

"I think it would be nicer if you gave it to him yourself. You stole it," Buster pointed out and ignoring the frown that crossed Max's face. "And you cleaned it up."

"I doubt he will have anything to do with me."

"You said the same thing about me," Buster said, shrugging. "Just apologizing and giving it back will go a long way with Wakko."

"As will it with Plucky, though you will have to stroke his ego a bit no doubt."

Buster sighed; if he apologized to Max, he could apologize to Plucky. He was even willing to coddle the duck a bit, stroke his already over-inflated ego so he would listen to him long enough so he could apologize.

"I don't want to, not right now in front of the adults," Buster admitted. "They'll all go on about how we learned a valuable lesson and this was - "

"- a learning experience and it built character," Max muttered, sounding annoyed and depressed at the same time. Looking up at Buster he said, "Get Wakko to come out here and I'll talk to him. I can do the same for Plucky. If nothing else, telling Wakko he can have his damn hat back will bring him out here and I can ask him why the hell he ratted us out to begin with."

Buster paused before nodding. It was a decent idea - that way if either of the other boys wasn't quite in a forgiving mood, an argument could be avoided in front of the adults. Buster hadn't been expecting their prank last night - no telling what they would do to them next.

"Good idea," Buster acknowledged, catching Max's look.

"Glad you agree," Max said, already turning to walk off.

"Though he didn't rat you out - and I don't think you guys did to him either," Buster called after him.

"We'll see," Max said. "Be back here in fifteen minutes."

_Damn; and he says I'm bossy?_

Buster felt his annoyance tempered with delight though. There might be hope for their little troublemaking posse after all. Plucky and Wakko couldn't be that hard to convince to at least talk.

He cast one last longing look around the path. He had come out looking for his book, but it was obviously gone, a remnant of this weekend's fighting. He would be leaving without it, but he was leaving with something much more important.

At some point he could get a new book, if he ever wanted to pursue his childish hobby again. He could add to his collection of friends but he couldn't replace the ones he had.

XXXXXXXXXX

" - we get your sister and go to dinner, the whole group. Even if the little miss couldn't go with us - I say - even if the little miss couldn't go with us, no reason she can't get dinner with us."

"Uh huh."

"And I know it was sort of crazy with you four trying to one up each other; hoped you had fun anyway."

"Uh huh."

"Know I did - don't seem like you were real into it."

"Uh huh."

"Probably go again in a while if you wanna go again."

"Uh huh."

"Can tell you're thrilled with the idea."

"Uh huh."

Wakko leaned back in his seat, only half listening to Foghorn as the rooster continued to talk. He was too busy thinking and looking out the window as they drove out of the campsite for the last time. If he half listened though, he could figure out when and where to put his 'uh huhs' so it at least looked like he was paying attention.

Dot would probably be curious about the entire weekend, though she would probably find Yakko's tales far more interesting. Yakko was in on all the stuff the adults did which was always vastly more remarkable.

Wakko had been a little jealous at first - Yakko wasn't that much older. To his way of thinking, Yakko should have given him a hint about the big prank they all pulled last night.

He shivered slightly; he had been scared out of his mind for awhile. When the adults started disappearing he had been getting worried. They had done it so stealthy and with such precision that none of them had a clue they were being had. When the big object had come hurling through the camp and scattered feathers everywhere he had almost passed out in terror, thinking something happened to Foghorn.

At least Yakko had told him on the side that it was nothing more than a pillow with a hole cut in it. Foghorn had just put a brick in the pillow to give it weight before handing it over to Mr. Bunny, who had catapulted it across the camp.

If that wasn't bad enough then Yakko had disappeared. Wakko would admit he had been about to go into a screaming panic at the thought that Yakko might have been part of some monster's banquet.

He grumpily thought that Yakko should have given him a clue or something. He was his brother after all - Yakko wasn't one of them - the adults. Soon, but not yet. At first he had thought his brother was mad at him, but come to find out Yakko said it was just a lesson in teamwork and a chance for the adults to mess with the kids a bit. Plus their fighting was getting on everyone's nerves and they were worried about getting caught in some sort of trap.

Propping his chin on his hand, Wakko hoped Yakko wouldn't become too adult, at least not for awhile. He wanted Yakko to still play ball and run around and challenge him to Pac-Man. Yakko was his guardian and adult figure, but he was his brother too.

But, Yakko was older - he liked to do a lot of things he didn't like to do. Though when he told Yakko that he said given enough time he more than likely would. Yakko said though that when Wakko wanted to do the same stuff, Yakko would be running around trying to prevent him from doing it.

Wakko sighed; Yakko always had to be so confusing. No wonder he hung out with the adults most of the weekend - they could all be confusing together. He supposed that Yakko was pretty much an adult now, almost anyway. Yakko had told him off to the side he might go golfing one weekend. Wakko had tried real hard not to laugh at him.

He did anyway though.

Wakko smirked as his attention turned to the CB. His brother was holding the mic down on Bugs again while the rabbit said something. After a second all the other adults were jumping in to ask Bugs to repeat himself, causing the rabbit to moan and yell at Yakko again.

Yakko probably wouldn't become too grown up, at least not for awhile. Yakko liked to play too much.

Turning slightly and catching the Toyota turning out of the corner of his eye, Wakko watched it for a minute, pleased with the way that had turned out.

Max's apology, while welcome, had come as a surprise.

When Buster had told him Max wanted to talk to him, Wakko had initially refused, expecting it to be the setup for another prank. Buster had to plead and almost beg his stubborn ass to go up the path to even talk to Max. That asshole was responsible for him losing his hat; why should he have wanted to talk to him?

Buster kept assuring him it was no setup - he was to bring Wakko, Max would bring Plucky, and they would have their own meeting. It would be out of range of the adults, there was a truce going on so no pranks - from either side. They could work this out themselves.

Wakko had finally agreed of course. While still expecting at least a pie in the face, with the insistent way Buster was talking to him, how could he not? He didn't want to get his best friend mad at him again, not for something so minor.

Wakko reached up, touching the still damp cap.

Buster had been right, as usual. Not only had Max actually wanted to talk and set things right before they went home, he had his hat.

He hadn't wanted to listen, not really. Max sure as hell didn't listen to him when he tried to apologize but when Max wanted to talk it was different? What a bunch of crap.

Wakko was glad he had though; Max had seemed genuinely sorry for everything blowing up the way it did. He even apologized for accusing him of being a backstabbing street rat, claiming he wasn't thinking when he spoke and how he didn't want to lose his friendship. He didn't even think Wakko being a grease monkey was all that bad - at least he had some usable skills. And he said he realized that Wakko hadn't intended for them to get in as much trouble as they did - it was just one of the times a simple joke had gone wrong.

From anyone else Wakko would have immediately accepted it. His own stubbornness had prevented him from forgiving the other boy as soon as he spoke. He was still half expecting it to be a trap, and the other half of him was still hurt and mad that Max had acted like he did.

But Buster had pointed out it wasn't like Wakko hadn't said some pretty mean stuff to him too - he had wanted to apologize a couple of times before. When looked at that way, Wakko had nodded. And he'd much rather be friends with Max than not.

Wakko sighed; he was mostly just mad and disappointed that his friend had acted like that. But Wakko would admit that he could have tried harder to ignore it - Max wasn't the only one being difficult this weekend. Even Yakko had told him not to let things progress too far.

He had tried not to; he could take some joking. Wakko always considered himself pretty laid back, but Max had pushed it to new levels. But he was apologizing; how could Wakko refuse to do the same?

Max had gladly accepted his. Wakko had to admit Max was more well-spoken and put together than the rest of them. Plus he had apologized first which went a long way - obviously he could let go of a grudge better than the rest of them which said a lot.

Even Plucky and Buster had made up, though they hadn't been at each other's throats the same way he and Max had been.

He had finally accepted - despite all the differences between them, they could be very much alike in a way. They had even shaken on it - that pretty much sealed the deal. Even Plucky had volunteered his own apology before starting to quiz him on how the winch was hooked up and how the vehicles' electrical system worked, something Wakko had willingly told him, or as much as he knew anyway. Plucky was no mechanic, but he had some idea how the electronics worked. He even acknowledged that if he hadn't been so distracted by actually playing the video game he would have seen that Wakko was duping them.

Like Buster said, together they were much stronger. Divided, they had been easy pickings. They should have been teamed up and going after the adults all along.

Which was true - then they all wouldn't have looked like idiots in the woods. Wakko got over it quicker than the others though; in hindsight, it had been kinda funny, even if Yakko had helped set them up.

Wakko and Max had thrown a few verbal spars and insults at each other, though Wakko would admit that he might have been a bit hasty. He hadn't even given Monty a chance to speak before he attacked. But the others had managed to get them calmed down again and they had all actually begun talking.

After that, Wakko had been willing to forgive him. Wakko had been delighted - he had his friend back, but Max hadn't looked as happy. He still looked stressed and depressed. Pulling Max away from the others Wakko had finally been able to coax out of him that he had screwed up with Jeeves and the man was quitting.

He had been a bit shocked about that, especially when Max told him that he had begun attacking the man after Wakko had pointed out he was hired to spend time with him. Wakko had never been more ashamed of himself in his life - until reminded, he had forgotten he had said that.

He had immediately told Max he had run out of things to fight with him about and blurted that jibe out after Max accused him of being a kiss ass. He hadn't meant it - he sure didn't expect Max to run off and start fighting with Jeeves about it. It was an empty and unfounded insult, based on nothing.

Luckily Max had said he didn't blame him for it - he realized Wakko was just being a jerk like he himself had been. Wakko, still embarrassed about his part in it offered to say something to Jeeves, tell him he planted the idea in his head.

Max had refused, saying that he was sure the association with Jeeves was over. He would work until his contract expired then would return to England; he had said as much. He sincerely doubted that anything Wakko could say would change that. Max even admitted he had tried to say something to Jeeves, but he couldn't find anything intelligent to say.

Wakko had nodded in understanding, having been in that position himself, but suggested that Max simply apologize to him. When Max pointed out he had tried, several times, Wakko told him not to get all longwinded and boring; just a simple heartfelt apology. While Wakko's jibe had planted the idea in his head, Max was still the one that fought with him. It might not stop the butler from leaving, but it couldn't hurt.

When Max had said he doubted something as simple as 'sorry' would change anything, Wakko had shrugged. He thought their friendship was over, but a simple apology had gone a long way hadn't it? If he was serious about the butler not leaving, it couldn't hurt to try. Max had sighed and said he would make an attempt, but expected nothing.

Wakko hoped he did and that the butler didn't leave. Max didn't have parents active in his life, but he had someone who was willingly filling the role, which was good. The butler - like Yakko - had stepped in, and Wakko thought that in some ways that was just as good - at least they wanted to do it. Neither of them were forced.

Wakko didn't want to think what would happen to his friend if the one person who cared about him left. Max was a jerk sometimes, but he was his friend - he didn't want to see him hurt.

Besides, Max had found his hat. Well, he admitted he had grabbed it when he slung Wakko in the air, but he had kept it and cleaned it up.

Wakko reached up, taking his hat off his head briefly and looking at it while wrinkling his nose at the smell. This hat had given him a lot of problems over the weekend. If he ever went camping again - and he doubted he ever would - he knew one thing. He was leaving all headwear at home.

If he had any hesitation about not forgiving Max, it disappeared when Max told him he had cleaned it up. If Max cared enough to get out of bed early and willingly do that, Wakko would forgive him. If the others hadn't been around he probably would have hugged Max - he really hadn't wanted to tell Elmyra that he lost the hat she had given him.

But, he would have hated to tell her he lost a couple of friendships over the weekend too. He was happy Max had approached him; Wakko knew he wouldn't have done it, not after he had gotten turned down twice before.

Shit. Elmyra - he wanted to get her a stuffed skunk. He wondered if that little store had one - maybe they did. Yakko had said the little store was packed full of crap and they were going to stop there anyway before they left for drinks. Maybe he could even get one for Dot - she'd like that. He knew she didn't have any skunk stuffed animals and -

" - and are you…Pay attention when I speak to you son!"

"Uh huh."

"Don't uh huh me boy!" Foghorn said loudly. "Don't pay attention to what's going on around you! If you did - I say - if you did you mighta known you four were getting had last night!" Laughing he added, "You four were floundering around in that hole like a herd of stuck calves!"

"Sorry Foghorn," Wakko said.

"Been working together you mighta figured it out…but I ain't counting on it!" Foghorn laughed, pounding on the steering wheel in merriment. After a moment he cut his eyes to Wakko. "You ask your brother about going out one of these weekends?"

"Going where?"

Sighing, Foghorn said, "Never mind boy. I'll go myself. Understand after this weekend if you don't wanna spend all that time with me. It's gonna be - I say - it's gonna be a lot of work anyway and - "

_Huh…Work?_

_What's he talking about? I don't want extra - _

_Oh shit!_

In the prank war he had totally forgotten to ask Yakko about going to some of the car auctions and other places to look for a project car for Foghorn. The rooster had even mentioned it once or twice since he had first asked, saying there was a few upcoming car auctions they could go to.

Wakko put his hand to his forehead - how could he have been so stupid? He should have asked before when Foghorn had first mentioned it, but he had been so worried that the others would laugh at him he hadn't. And Max had admitted that even if he thought the car obsession was a bit weird, he didn't mind it - it was what made Wakko 'him', and being his friend meant accepting his 'oddities'.

Sort of like Wakko accepting his fruity fencing stuff. He liked Max and he'd accept whatever hobbies he had, but he still thought his friend looked silly dancing around with his little sword.

Now Foghorn probably thought he didn't want to go. And he did - not just because he liked working on the cars, but he liked doing stuff with Foghorn too.

Max had mentioned he needed to talk to Jeeves; he said he had angered all his friends on this trip. Wakko didn't press him for details; Max didn't like being pushed if it was something he wanted to keep private.

But Wakko didn't think it would be a bad idea for him to take a page out of Max's book. Like he finally told Max, sometimes a simple 'sorry' could go a long way. And as badly as they had messed up, it would probably go a long way with Foghorn.

" - sure you'll want to run around with your friends - "

"Yeah! I mean no! Um…I forgot to ask him," Wakko said sheepishly. "But I wanna go!"

"Gotta ask him first boy." Foghorn looked at the radio before looking back at him. "Guess you'll wait and just ask him at home. See that you four finally made up - don't wanna start up that GearHead nonsense again."

Wakko looked at him for a second before shrugging, holding his hand out for the mic.

"I don't think they'll start back up."

"No? You sound pretty sure. Confident that is."

"We talked. We just agreed we all have different strengths and stuff." Inhaling he said hastily, "And if they do…I don't care. I like working on cars and I wanna go with you - "

"Glad to hear it Socket!" Foghorn crowed, slapping him gently on the back before handing him the mic. "Knew you had it in you!"

Grinning Wakko took the mic, getting ready to call for 'Ladies Man' before pausing.

He had been so happy he made up with his other friends and that Yakko wasn't really ticked off at all that he had forgotten to say anything to Foghorn, and not just about the show.

"Um Ratchet? Thanks. I did have fun - "

"Really?"

Wakko nodded before saying, "Yeah, thanks for taking me." Halfheartedly shrugging he added, "Sorry we were all fighting - "

"Don't worry about it Socket."

"Yeah, but we sort of messed up your weekend - "

"Didn't mess up mine - thought most of it was sort of funny if a bit dangerous," Foghorn said, giving him a look. "Rabbit's gonna need therapy and a week at a resort being waited on hand and foot to recover from this." In a quiet mutter Foghorn added, "Might have to join him for that though."

"Yeah; you and Bugs don't really have a lot of the same interests," Wakko mused quietly. "Like I don't ever see Bugs wanting to come camping again and he doesn't like working on cars or sports. I'm surprised you're best friends and don't fight all - "

"Don't need to have all the same interests to be friends," Foghorn interrupted. "And don't think we don't fight. Every set of friends fight about something eventually." Sighing he added, "Me and Bugs - I say - me and Bugs fight all the time but we apologize, laugh about it and move on. You'll find that saying sorry every now and then strengthens a friendship."

Well he knew that.

It was nice to know that he wasn't the only one that had such a knock-down fight with his friends though. It didn't make him feel like quite the jerk he had before anyway.

And he hadn't pissed Foghorn off too bad, if the rooster still wanted to have him help pick out a car to work on and wanted to go camping again sometime.

He called for his brother on the radio, hearing him answer with Bugs yelling and joking about something in the background.

Wakko had been worried that he might be leaving the woods with one damaged friendship, two ruined ones and a really annoying nickname everyone would just continue to say to him to bug him.

Instead all friendships were not only intact but strengthened since everyone agreed to at least respect each other's quirks and interests.

The weekend had been a success; if nothing else if someone called him a 'GearHead' again he could smile and nod. That was who he was.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Come on Bugs…just go already…_

" - and like I was saying doc; don't know if I'll ever recover from this weekend - "

"It wasn't that bad Bugs," Yakko said, watching the rabbit lean against the counter of the gift shop and convenience store while stirring his overly sweetened coffee.

_Just…turn your head or something - I just want a little cup!_

"It was - and I probably could have beat Foghorn at this, if I had a little more time."

"Is it always a competition with you two?"

Bugs paused for a moment before saying, "Well…not always doc. Just most times."

Taking a sip of his coffee with a contented sigh and muttering about how much he was happy he had coffee that didn't taste like it was strained through used cheesecloth, Yakko shook his head, amused.

Upon arriving at the store Bugs had practically ran inside, making a beeline for the coffee machine. When he finally got the beverage poured he had begun drinking it like it contained heroin.

Yakko shook his head, watching him. Bugs really needed to lay off that stuff, maybe switch to decaf and use a lot less sugar.

And go wander the store with the others - Yakko wanted to pour his own cup, hoping to get a few sips in. With Bugs glued to him though he didn't see that happening.

"It was good for you to get out of town and relax - "

"Relax? If I wasn't already a grey hair those little goons would have made me grey!" Bugs moaned, sipping at the cup briefly while eyeing Yakko. "I mean my table, and the raccoon, and messing with my chair…and I can't find my sunglasses again!"

Yakko smirked to himself as the rabbit continued to complain and watched the four boys run around the store. Even Max was looking somewhat more cheerful than he had before. Yakko watched Buster and Wakko team up and lock Plucky in the cooler while Max smirked.

He shook his head when Plucky, still trapped on the other side of the glass breathed on it then wrote something filthy in the fog. That brought the other adults, looking harried already over to try to get them to calm down.

"See - look at that!" Bugs said, nodding his head towards the group. "They are all probably laughing at me - they probably snuck back to the car and put my sunglasses on my visor.!"

Yakko sighed. At some point he might tell Bugs that his sunglasses were on top of his head where he himself had pushed them when they got in the car.

He didn't think it had been a bad trip. Sure, he would have liked to have gotten to know the Double Mint Twins a bit better and not had to go screaming down the street looking like a freak, but the rest of it hadn't been awful. After all was said and done, Yakko actually felt quite relaxed.

He wanted to get back to civilization - the trip was a welcome break but it was time to head back to real life.

As disastrous as Bugs felt the trip was, Yakko felt the trip had done everyone good. Like Bugs - before he was in such a damn hurry to prove he could do it he was running people off the road in his haste to be first. Despite his griping, he had actually been the last in line of their little convoy and seemed quite content to be there.

Not to mention he had gained a little more respect for Foghorn's skills in the woods. No, Bugs probably didn't appreciate them much, but he had acknowledged that someone did know more than he did.

The four boys weren't fighting amongst themselves anymore. Wakko seemed to have relaxed and accepted his role as the little car nut of the group if his talking about it over the radio was any indication.

Yakko was actually quite proud of his little brother - he hadn't just rolled over and given up his hobby because of the others picking at him about it. True, he had defended himself and his interest in a rather unusual fashion, but damn it the whole thing had been funny.

But no matter what, Wakko still wouldn't buy a gift for Elmyra. His brother had come to him, soggy hat perched atop his head and almost begged him to buy two of the plush skunks on the shelf while shoving crumpled money in his hands.

After pressing him, Wakko had confessed that one of the skunks would be for Dot - then Yakko had to press him more that it wasn't a gift that was intended to start a fight. He could see Wakko doing that - giving it to Dot and saying she stunk. He was a bit embarrassed to say he was wrong; Wakko had been buying it to be nice because 'it stunk she couldn't come'.

With that reasoning Yakko had agreed, even grabbing a stuffed fox for Dot.

Wakko wouldn't say who the other one was for; just 'a friend'. Yakko had laughed at him of course, and Wakko had looked as confused as he usually did when he laughed at him.

He'd figure it out in a year or two.

Watching his brother run around and act like an insane person, Yakko shuddered, remembering what Jeeves had said about Max and Mary. No doubt in a year or two he would be dealing with the same thing with Wakko.

At least he would have backup and support - something Jeeves desperately needed at times. Yakko felt sorry for the man as he watched him across the store.

The last time he had spoken to Jeeves, Max had still not said much to him, though he had looked like he was trying. Jeeves had seemed pleased regardless. He said sometimes, actions spoke louder than words and 'Mister Max's' actions of that morning had proven he had at least gained something on the trip. He expected, in time, that 'Mister Max' would say something. He said he knew the boy well and sometimes 'Mister Max' needed time and a bit of prodding. Jeeves pointed out that while he would immediately accept any apology the boy had to offer, he was under no obligation to make it too easy for him.

Yakko had shrugged before agreeing, happy that things seemed to at least be on the mend for them. And he had told Jeeves he could call him to talk or vent; Yakko had pointed out in a year or two he might need to do the same thing.

The man had readily accepted, pleasing Yakko.

He was actually pleased about all of it really. The others had accepted him into their group. He wasn't quite an adult, but he was getting closer and they were welcoming him more and more, a role he was rather comfortable with. Mr. Bunny and Foghorn had almost always treated him like an equal but seemed to hold back slightly, like they were always aware they were talking to a child.

No longer though; instead of growing quiet when he walked by or changing the subject, they now easily talked about a variety of subjects within his presence. Jeeves as well. Yakko, despite the pranks he had secretly been pulling on Bugs, felt like he had matured somewhat on the trip.

Or at least was being viewed as more mature by everyone.

Well, all but Bugs; the rabbit still seemed to look at him as a child. It still chafed a bit, but Yakko had decided to just accept it for now. Like Foghorn said, Bugs was worried, and his worry wouldn't turn off because of a camping trip.

Besides, he had pulled an entire weekend of pranks on the so-called king and not been caught. He wasn't going to volunteer that information of course, but it was nice to know he had done it.

"Hey Bugs?"

"Yeah Yakko?"

"Thanks for bringing me out here. You were right - you tricked me - but you were right. I needed to come out and do this."

"Course you did doc," Bugs said, throwing his arm around Yakko's shoulders. "Everyone needs a break now and then. Just trust that I know best every now and then huh?"

"Yeah…Look Bugs," Yakko said quietly, quickly remembering what he had decided to say to the rabbit last night, especially after his conversation with Jeeves. "I know I say this…well, never. So here goes; thanks. For everything, not just this vacation." Gazing at his brother who was now running around the store chasing after Buster and Max he added, "All three of us. I'm not trying to sound like a Hallmark card, but I've been able to raise Wakko and Dot - and have some semblance of a normal life myself - because of you. You and the others anyway. I owe you - "

"You've never owed me a thing doc," Bugs said casually but wearing a flattered look. "But you're welcome. But just so you know, you're doing it. I just helped…show the way sometimes. And I'll continue to do so, as long as you want me to. I don't ever want you to feel like I'm being pushy or you can't come to me about anything - "

"Hey, you're my Da-Doo," Yakko shrugged before grinning at Bugs. "Who else would I go to? Your opinion means the world to me!"

"Great - remember that the next time I don't like your 'flavor of the week."

"You're just too picky when it comes to girls."

"With your history with females, I'm allowed to be," Bugs sighed before smirking. "But I'll get my payback in the end. You'll have Wakko and Dot to deal with; I'll get to sit back and laugh while you're running around going crazy because of the potential love interests they'll have."

Yakko shuddered at the statement; no doubt Bugs would prove to be correct. He almost wished Wakko and Dot could stay the ages they were forever.

"Well, baring our differences in opinions when it comes to my dates," Yakko said in a serious tone. "I meant everything I said. Because of you, what I've learned from you and what I'll continue to learn, I'll be able to take care of Wakko and Dot the way they deserve to be taken care of. And you keep an eye on me so I don't go crazy, like tricking me into taking a break - "

"I'm just glad you came. Personally, I think I need a break to recover from this break."

"It wasn't that bad was it? Honestly?"

Yakko eyed him for a moment. True, pranking Bugs at every opportunity had been a blast and was the one of the many reasons the trip had been so damn enjoyable, but he hadn't wanted to ruin the rabbit's vacation. He had hoped the rabbit had some fun…

"Well….not all of it doc," Bugs admitted, shrugging his shoulders before grinning. "Got to spend time with you; can't say I didn't enjoy that. And I finally got the boys back some; that was worth it. Though I still owe them…so much," he muttered darkly. "It'll be a cold day in hell when those four can get away with fooling me…"

Yakko shivered. Even if he had been tempted to tell Bugs the pranks were him, he wouldn't after that statement.

"Still had to listen to Foghorn's big mouth," Bugs groused, watching as the chicken finally extracted Plucky from the soda cooler.

"Challenge him to a round of golf," Yakko suggested. "I know you could best him in that."

"I could best him in any activity that doesn't include me having to play Daniel Boone all weekend," Bugs muttered. "Besides, you said you might go this time right?"

Yakko nodded, rolling his eyes.

Bugs had almost leapt for joy when he had casually mentioned that Jeeves had suggested a round and Yakko had just asked a simple question. Now Bugs wanted to teach him the game. Yakko shuddered again, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

Looking across the store and grabbing Foghorn's attention Bugs shouted, "Hey Loud Mouth - wanna play a round of golf one weekend? I got Yakko as my partner!"

_Oh jeeze what did I start…_

Foghorn started laughing, nudging Jeeves in the ribs while saying something over his shoulder to Mr. Bunny.

"Notice he won't accept - "

"He hasn't not accepted," Yakko said. "He's busy dealing with the boys; they're pretty wound up right now."

"True…looks like they got into a whole pot of coffee." Looking at Yakko he asked, "You gonna grab a drink or what? We'd like to get back to civilization before dinnertime."

"Uh…right Bugs."

Slightly disappointed but not letting it ruin his mood, Yakko grabbed a cup, turning to the hot chocolate machine. He had been hoping the rabbit would turn and he could just get his own cup of coffee - fixed the way he liked it - but with Bugs right there, that would be impossible.

"Coffee machine's here Yakko."

"Huh?"

_Did he just say…_

"You're just gonna switch it anyway and I can't drink anymore hot chocolate. No more marshmallows," Bugs smirked.

"You…" Yakko swallowed, a bit nervous. "You knew?"

_Oh God how much else does he know?_

"Oh yeah," Bugs drawled, taking another swallow of his coffee before turning to refill his cup. "Figured it out awhile ago. The more tired and stressed I got, the more hyper and hysterical you got. Didn't take a genius to figure it out doc."

Yakko watched him warily, fully expecting Bugs to say he knew every prank had been him the entire time. If he was lucky Bugs wouldn't blame him for the stuff he really wasn't responsible for, like the tent and…

Well, mostly just the tent.

He supposed the raccoon could be blamed on him indirectly, though he honestly hadn't known the little beast would climb in Bugs' truck. Foghorn did warn him not to feed the animals or leave food lying around…

Crap. Bugs was gonna kill him before he got his driver's license.

Scratch that - Bugs was going to kill him before they left the store. He was probably going to shove him in the coffee maker.

Yakko started to edge away from his mentor slightly, already eyeing the exit as Bugs continued to speak.

" - and I can't believe you thought you could fool me doc," Bugs said, shaking his head like he was talking to a naughty toddler. "I told you I was the master. I knew almost from the beginning of this trip that you were nabbing my java. It mostly amused me to see you work so hard to hide it, burning your tongue as you gulped it down."

Yakko glared at him for that. He had burned his mouth, several times.

He mentally patted himself on the back though. Bugs knew about the coffee, but he still hadn't figured out who was pranking him. Hell, Yakko figured he must have done an excellent job - the rabbit still thought the runts were responsible.

"So…" Bugs sighed, handing him a medium cup. "Just go ahead; I'll even buy your cup. But please…go easy on this stuff OK? It ain't good for a kid."

_Damn it! Kid?_

Yakko pushed aside his annoyed feelings.

Free. His favorite four letter word. Add coffee to the end of it and any situation improved.

Grinning like an idiot he pounced on the coffee maker, delighted that for once he could actually drink the stuff. Bugs may still be treating him as a 'kid' but he was letting him drink some coffee; that to Yakko was a major improvement.

Funny how Bugs hadn't mentioned anything else…

"But remember doc - you can't fool me. Those little monsters think they've gotten off scot-free with their malarkey this weekend. I don't know how they did it, but when I figure it out…"

"Right Bugs," Yakko sighed, taking a quick sip of his drink. "You'll teach 'em."

"But they need to remember something. You'd do well to remember it too."

Euphoric at having coffee the way he liked it despite his disappointment that he'd never be able to steal Bugs' again, Yakko looked up, curious.

"What's that Bugs?"

Leaning in, Bugs looked directly in his eyes and spoke.

"I got long ears doc, but I've got an even longer memory. And unlike twelve-year-olds, I don't act without planning. A lot of planning."

Yakko gulped to himself, crossing his fingers that Bugs never figured out that he had been doing more than engaging in coffee thefts over the weekend.

XXXXXXXXXX

_I'm gonna break his damn foot._

Feeling Plucky kick the back of his seat again, Montana gritted his teeth and glared out the window, trying to ignore the duck. If he ignored Plucky he might be able to press back the urge to jump in the back seat and throttle him.

With a final kick, Plucky hooted in glee and fell back into his seat and Montana relaxed slightly. Plucky would get bored pestering him and concentrate on the video game soon enough.

Montana stiffened again when he felt Plucky hit him on the shoulder a bit harder than he had been previously and rolled his eyes, telling himself it was his own fault.

When Plucky had been pestering him at lunch Montana had shoved another soda at him, hoping to keep him occupied. All he had done was get the duck more hyper than normal. Next time he would just dump the entire glass over Plucky's head.

At least he was being entertained by the game system again. Before they left the campsite Montana, desperate to shut Plucky up for awhile so he could think, had presented the fuse to him. Plucky had looked delighted and happily put it back into the panel. Hell, it gave him and Wakko something to talk about; the duck had happily quizzed a rather flattered Wakko on the different fuses and their functions.

Fuse in place and video game once again active, Plucky had crawled into the backseat, snapped the game on and was already picking a game before his rear end touched the seat. After a moment he had looked up, asking if Montana was going to join him or if he wanted an invitation first.

Montana almost had; it would be better than dealing with the frosty treatment he was still getting from Jeeves. If he sat in the back, at least he could pretend that Jeeves was still speaking to him and that everything was going to go back to normal. The ride home would be slightly more pleasant than he had been anticipating, but he hated to build up false expectations.

Besides, it would make the ride home pass quicker and why would he want to do that? When they arrived home, he wouldn't even have Plucky for companionship, let alone anyone else.

And who would he have anyway? His parents? He snorted; they weren't due home for another month at least the last time anyone bothered to inform him but he did not care. Even when they were in the same room with him he usually felt like they were still thousands of miles away.

Like Jeeves now.

Honestly, Montana didn't want to go home anymore. Home would mean isolation and loneliness, the pain of which would be intensified simply because he was not used to it. He had companionship at one time - he was the one that destroyed it.

He should have just kept his mouth shut, suffered through the rest of the weekend and not said anything. Or at least thought about how what he said was going to sound; Jeeves was always harping about 'thinking before speaking'.

Not sure why, Montana had shook his head, deciding to sit up front with the butler. He would like to think that perhaps he would get enough nerve to apologize, but was willing to admit he probably wouldn't.

What good would it do? He was afraid that if he opened his mouth he might simply make things worse. Besides, he had just about begged Jeeves in the woods to listen to him and the butler hadn't even responded - no way he was going to embarrass himself again. Bad enough Yakko had more than likely seen it, though he gave no indication he had for which Montana was thankful.

Plucky, to his credit, hadn't complained, just gave him a knowing look and had settled back, slapped a pair of headphones on and began to play. He had not said a word, just groans if he messed up on his game or howls of success when he won, but he would constantly kick the back of Montana's seat. Or tap the back of his head. Or smack his shoulder on occasion. Or tap the game controller on his head.

Constantly. It was maddening.

Montana had ignored him, staying silent and looking out the window. He knew Plucky was trying to help prod him along and he appreciated it but the damn duck didn't know when to back off. Constantly smacking him was doing nothing more than giving him a headache and tempting him to break Plucky's wrist.

Feeling another swift kick low on his seat, Montana clenched his fists and turned, looking at Plucky around the seat. The duck, headphones still glued to his head, gave him a sweet smile, shrugged, then gestured towards Jeeves with a 'go on' motion.

Montana gave him the finger, turned, and felt Plucky kick his seat again.

Deciding to follow his original plan of ignoring Plucky, Montana swept some of his long hair out of his eyes before turning his head slightly, trying to covertly glance at Jeeves. Maybe if he got some sort of sign out of the man, he could gauge what his response would be if he said anything. The silence had long since become uncomfortable.

The butler had been talkative with everyone at lunch - well, not him of course - but the rest of the group. He had seemed to be in a good mood. Montana had almost spoken to him then, but when Jeeves had asked if 'Mister Max' required anything beyond him paying for his meal, Montana had dumbly shook his head.

Jeeves had not even sat next to him at lunch, saying something about 'protocol' not allowing him to eat with his employers and that when they returned home he would begin eating his meals in the kitchen where the help should eat. The 'employer' would henceforth eat in the dining room.

Montana had almost screamed in frustration. He hated the large fancy dining room with its thick cream-colored carpet and the Mahogany table that was so gigantic that one almost had to yell to be heard by the person at the other end. It was stuffy, boring, and meant that his parents were home if it was being used.

He hated eating in there; it usually meant that he would have to endure listening to endless conversations about stocks and banking or fashion. Or complete silence since his parents had absolutely nothing in common beyond their last name.

He usually wished for the silence. Not only were the conversations dull, he was not invited to participate in them, even if he had any knowledge of what they were speaking about. The stock market and banking bored him as much as his mother's fashion.

And Jeeves knew it bored him; the butler would wink at him when he served the family, letting Montana know he knew he was bored. Usually if he behaved though, Jeeves would play a game with him later or fix him a sundae or something.

And if it was boring when they were there, he could just imagine how dreadfully dull the room would be without them there. He shivered slightly.

Feeling another kick in the seat Montana sighed. He wished he could explain to Plucky that his constant bugging him was not assisting him any. Plucky had bugged him for awhile to apologize, saying that he had apologized to everyone else, and Jeeves was the one he was probably the worst to.

He didn't seem to understand that since he was the one he had behaved the worst to, Montana didn't think a simple 'sorry' was going to work, not this time. He had no idea how to even begin to phrase it.

"Do you require something Mister Max?"

"Yeah, for you to stop calling me Mister Max," Montana muttered, turning to look out the window.

"I believe Master Plucky is trying to get your attention," Jeeves said, continuing to stare out the windshield as he followed Foghorn's truck and not acknowledging that Montana spoke. "I dare say if he kicks your seat one more time he is liable to push his way through."

"It's nothing, don't trouble yourself," Montana muttered, turning to glare at Plucky again.

He scowled; the stupid duck was playing his game again and acting like he wasn't fully responsible for Jeeves focusing on him. Montana turned to look at Jeeves before returning to studying the landscape out his window.

"I apologize Mister Max, but I did rent the vehicle for this rather foolish excursion. I do not wish to pay for the damages." Deprecatingly he added, "Though with the vast amount of wealth I have accumulated over the past nine years caring for you, perhaps it would not hurt me to bad, financially."

Montana sighed. So much for hoping that perhaps he would be able to speak to Jeeves; he obviously didn't want to hear a thing he had to say. He might as well get used to the idea that there would be a new butler come -

He jumped, angry and annoyed when he felt Plucky give a rapid succession of kicks to his seat.

Unsnapping his seat belt and kneeling upwards in the seat so he was glaring down at the duck he yelled, "God damn it Plucky stop! I'll fucking say it when I'm bloody good and ready!"

He felt his scowl deepen when Plucky gave no indication that he heard him. The duck glanced up briefly as if surprised that Montana was glaring down at him. Plucky gave him another syrupy sweet smile while still clutching his video game controller, then had the nerve to kick the seat again.

Hard.

Montana tumbled backwards, barely catching himself on the headrest. Annoyed, he started to climb in the back seat, intending to wrap the controller's cord around Plucky's neck and tie him to the bumper when he heard Jeeves begin speaking again.

"I know it is not my place to question my employer's actions, but I would highly suggest that you return to a seated position. If you wish I will pull over to the side of the road. I will of course add detention time to my time card."

"That won't be necessary," Montana muttered crossly, giving a final glare to Plucky before sitting in the seat again.

He huffed, crossing his arms before feeling the vehicle begin to slow. Curious, he glanced over at Jeeves. At the butler's look Montana sighed and grasped the seatbelt. Jeeves was fanatical about seatbelts; he usually refused to move the vehicle until everyone was securely buckled in - in the front seat anyway. He tended to get lax about the rear seat.

Montana felt the vehicle begin to speed up again and stiffly sat back, closing his eyes and wishing he could figure out how to talk to Jeeves without sounding like a total idiot.

And to somehow kill Plucky and not wind up in Panic Pen for his efforts. It now felt like the duck was tap-dancing on the back of the seat.

Montana looked at Jeeves again. Maybe Wakko was right - short and simple - just blurt it out and see how it goes. The atmosphere was thicker than old porridge now and that was with Plucky in the car. Montana didn't see it improving once the duck left, and every second that passed brought them that much closer to home.

He briefly thought about waiting until Plucky went home. He was desperate enough to actually beg Jeeves to stay and he really did not want anyone witnessing that, especially if the butler ignored him or refused to accept his apology.

Besides, when they got home Jeeves said he was calling his father and resigning. If that happened, it would be too late. His father would begin looking for a replacement for Jeeves, and Montana knew that no matter who he hired, no one would be an adequate exchange.

Taking a deep breath and hoping Jeeves would at least listen Montana looked down at his hands tightly clenched in his lap.

"I'm sorry."

Not hearing Jeeves respond Montana glanced at him. The butler had glanced over at him for a split second before returning his gaze out the windshield. Montana studied him; he knew Jeeves well enough to know that even if he wasn't looking directly at him he was still listening.

After a moment of no response Montana decided to try again, already feeling like he was wasting his time.

Jeeves probably wouldn't stay; he had made that clear enough. But Montana was hoping apologizing would at least make him feel better.

Maybe.

"I said I'm sorry."

"I heard you the first time Mister Max," Jeeves replied.

Confused and hurt at the reply Montana turned from looking at Jeeves to looking back out the window.

"Fine, you don't want to accept my apology - "

"It is not that I do not want to accept; I am simply waiting to hear what you are apologizing for. A generic 'sorry' is hardly heartfelt and could cover anything. Are you sorry for eating the last piece of pie? Are you sorry for - "

"You know very well what I am sorry for," Montana muttered, not looking at him. "You know what? Never mind - "

Plucky's foot made contact with the seat back so violently that Montana was convinced his lower spine was bruised.

"Damn it Plucky knock it off!"

He didn't of course, he continued to pound out a rhythm on the back of the seat and Montana clenched his fists. He just made up with Plucky; killing him now would be a shame.

"Perhaps if you simply said what is on your mind Mister Max - you are after all the employer yes? When you speak I will certainly drop everything I am doing and concentrate on you, no matter how trivial the subject matter is. I live only to serve you."

"No you don't," Montana mumbled. "Or maybe you used to, I don't know," he sighed quietly, slumping back in his seat. "Never mind, it's complicated."

"Mister Max, I find everything with you is com - "

"Stop calling me Mister Max!" Montana snapped, crossing his arms and glaring out the window. "It's annoying and insulting! I get it, I was a jerk! I shouldn't have said anything! I would not rather be with my parents, I had no intention of calling my Father and having him replace you and I sure as hell shouldn't have accused you of looking at me as just a paycheck OK?"

"And why is that?"

Montana turned from glaring out the window to look at Jeeves, half frustrated and half perplexed at the question.

"Why?"

"Yes, Mister Max, why? How did you arrive at such an enlightening revelation when twenty-four hours ago you were convinced that I saw you as nothing more than a walking dollar sign?"

Annoyed he floundered for a moment, trying to come up with a decent answer to an unexpected question. He should have expected it, knowing Jeeves. Montana had actually hoped Jeeves would just say 'OK, all is forgiven'.

How stupid could he be?

But, he had to come up with something good. He wanted to apologize and Wakko had suggested staying simple and heartfelt.

"Uh…because you…uh…cook my meals? Um…pay for anything I want? Get my video games months prior to their release?"

_Lame._

Jeeves did not look at him or speak, but Montana saw one eyebrow cock up and decided to try again. Grasping at memories, he recalled the countless times Jeeves had talked to him or lectured him or just plan nagged him about something. Sometimes he expressed worry or exasperation at something he had done; other times he expressed praise or delight.

If nothing else, Jeeves was consistent. He was always around.

If he was careful and tried to speak intelligently, he might be able to formulate a coherent sentence. Time to just swallow his pride, stop stuttering every time he tried to talk to the man and just say what he felt.

"Because you are a constant pain in my ass."

Montana saw Jeeves' other eyebrow shoot upwards, giving him a startled appearance and he decided that might not have been the best way to say it.

"Let me rephrase," Montana said, turning to look fully at him. He still appeared to be paying attention, alternating between watching the road and listening. "You're the one that bugs me to get good grades or call when I'm late or wants to meet every damn person I even casually mention…"

"Do you have any idea why?"

Sighing and still searching for the best words to say what he meant without sounding insulting Montana said, "Because you care. You get into my business constantly; you want to meet everyone, you want to know who I'm with, where we're gonna be, who we're gonna be with and why. You nag the hell out of me about behavior and protocol and building character. It's annoying and aggravating…but…you care, more than just because I am your job."

"True." With a small sigh himself Jeeves added, "I am not trying to be a constant pain in your arse. This camping trip for example was not only supposed to be a learning experience, but you were supposed to have fun!"

"I did…sometimes…"

"I want to see you grow up to be a successfully functioning adult. I want you to get out and experience new things, pick new hobbies and interests beyond video games and trying to sneak off with your lady love for longer than five minutes so you can do more than chastely kiss each other."

"I know - "

"I always have your best intentions in mind, whether it is making sure you eat correctly or having adequate social interaction with your peers." Developing a hard edge to his voice he added, "That you would get the idea that I simply cared about a weekly paycheck is not only preposterous but incredibly hurtful. You can treat me as a servant or you can treat me as a friend; but you will not flip-flop when it is convenient for you."

"I know, I know! I'm sorry I didn't mean any of it!" Montana said, hearing the begging tone in his voice and not caring. "I did not really mean - "

"My paycheck begins and ends with making sure the house is cared for and that you do not kill yourself and have sufficient tutoring. Anything else I do is because I want to; some one has to do it and your parents are not able - "

"My parents." Montana snorted. Jeeves never spoke bad about his parents; whenever he was younger the butler always talked around his questions, why they weren't around. It was not protocol to speak ill of his employers. "I'm not five Jeeves; you don't need to make excuses anymore. They don't come home - "

"- because they are very busy. But they love you very much and care for you - "

"Uh huh. Good God Jeeves this is not a fairy tale! Trust me, say what you want; I was lying when I said I was going to call Father - "

"I will not speak ill of your parents; they are very busy and…perhaps…are a bit misguided."

"Way to sugarcoat it Jeeves."

"There are many elements of the Max estate the must be cared for - "

"And all of them are more important than their son," Montana interrupted snidely. "Don't bullshit me Jeeves - "

"Keep the language to a minimum please."

"Well it's true isn't it? When's the last time they asked about me, I mean really wanted to know what's going on in my life, not just that I'm not doing anything that would bring disgrace to the family name? Do they know my hobbies? My friends? Do they even know the show's ended? I have not told them - have you? Did they watch every episode like you did? Do you ever remember them showing up for a filming?"

"I have spoken to them at length about many of the things you just mentioned - "

"I'm sure. You told them, they said 'yes, fine' then told you when they were going to be home. Ready the dining room for another big dinner party, make sure the chef is on retainer and is available at the needed time, and that Montana behaves and doesn't embarrass the family because they need to make a good impression."

Jeeves didn't contradict him and Montana continued to speak in a quiet voice.

"Mother and Father never bothered to come to a Christmas party at the studio." Laughing and trying to keep the bitter intonation out of his voice Montana added, "I can't remember when either one of them bothered to come home for Christmas or a birthday. You've spent every single one with me." Sighing and slumping back in his seat again he said quietly, "The only concrete way they've shown they give a shit about me was by hiring you. If you were not there, no one would care would they?"

After a moment Montana turned to look at Jeeves, who had stayed silent through his ramblings.

"What happened yesterday…about what I said. I didn't mean it - "

"Nor did I," Jeeves interrupted. "I spoke out of turn yesterday and I apologize. It was not my place to say anything about your parents. They care; I was wrong to even imply that - "

Shrugging and cutting him off, Montana said, "You were not wrong. They don't care do they? They did hand me off to the butler." Snorting and speaking quietly he added, "Funny though, I've never really minded. They're just the ones that foot the bill for my living expenses."

"Montana, do not think that. They may have a different way of showing how they feel but they provide - "

"Oh, they provide for me; they throw money around like confetti. I have wads of it shoved into my hands anytime they come home. That's different. You show it, every day." Montana sighed, noting that Jeeves used his given name instead of the despised 'Mister Max. Still gazing out the window and concentrating on the best way to say what he actually felt he spoke quietly. "You know, every now and then I meet someone that doesn't know me or recognize me. If you were around, they thought I was your son. I never bothered to correct them. Sometimes I even pretend it myself; I'd rather be the son of the butler."

Jeeves was silent for so long that Montana feared he'd spoken too quietly and that Jeeves had not heard him. Or was uncomfortable at what he just said and was formulating a lecture on appreciating his parents or how he would never want a child like him.

Montana felt his face go warm; he had just inadvertently embarrassed himself and Jeeves. He really should have just kept his mouth shut, let those facts stay hidden in the deepest recesses of his mind. Self-consciously he looked back out the window, wishing now they would get back home quickly so he could go hide in his room.

"Thank you. It takes great strength of character - not to mention a healthy amount of confidence in me - to admit something like that out loud. I can not tell you how proud that makes me."

Surprised at the whisper, Montana turned to look back at Jeeves who was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"I have never had the opportunity to have children though I have always wanted them. If I ever had a son, I would hope he would be a lot like you."

Flustered at the unexpected flattery, Montana blushed and quickly looked back out the window, muttering, "Thanks. Sort of sucks huh? Both of us want some sort of family and neither one of us has it - "

"I disagree. A wise person recently pointed out to me that family is more than sharing the same blink line or last name. Family are the ones that can hurt you the most, disappoint you the most, surprise you the most…and yet are the ones you would never change or trade or want them to be anything other than who they are. They bring great joy and pride and comfort." Glancing over at Montana he added, "And I have always felt that way about you. You are the most exasperating child at times and with you entering your teen years I confess to being bloody frightened to even imagine what I shall have to put up with from you next. But I would not change it either."

Inhaling slightly, Montana pondered what to say next.

Perhaps it would be better not to say anything, but he still felt like he had not given the man an adequate apology.

"I'm sorry Alex," Montana said, using Jeeves' real name.

He rarely used the butler's real name. Sometimes he used it when he was in big trouble and was trying to appeal to the butler to not punish him too badly; occasionally it worked. Mostly though he used it when he was trying to be sincere and couldn't think of anything meaningful to say. Jeeves was a nickname - sort of like the Warners using 'Da-doo' on Bugs. It was the playful substitute for 'dad' - all the heartfelt feelings that went with the word without overly freaking anyone out.

Jeeves picked up on it too, turning to look down at him briefly.

"I'm sorry I said what I did, before. I have never looked at you as a family servant until…well…never mind," Montana said, shaking his head. Wakko had obviously not meant it and saying anything about it now would simply be snitching and continue the negative feelings. "Something said in anger. I still think you are a pain in the arse but I don't want you to leave. But…if you do…I just don't want you walk away and leave hating me."

"This wise person I spoke to recently also reminded me I can easily walk away from a job. It is much harder to walk away from family." Reaching out and putting his hand on Montana's head for a moment Jeeves added, "Relax Master Montana, I neither hate you nor do I have any intention of leaving. I am afraid you will be stuck with me for awhile."

Montana felt himself just about slump in the seat in relief, the icy panic that mingled with guilt and depression for the last day fading.

He started when he heard Plucky make a weird cooing noise from the back seat.

Damn it. He had forgotten about the duck and he had probably heard his sappy sounding apology. The dipshit was probably laughing his head off.

Still though, he probably would not have issued an apology of any kind if the duck had not goaded him into doing it.

Putting his most arrogant face on, Montana turned in his seat to look back at the duck before sighing. The duck had his hands clasped under his bill and was smiling at him with a hopeful expression and a bit of a wet look in his eye.

Watching him for a moment, Montana finally sighed and in a monotone voice said, "Fine Plucky. Thank you - I would not have done it unless you pushed me. You're the best friend I could ever ask for, what would I do without you. Now, don't start crying. And stop kicking my fucking seat."

Montana managed to see Jeeves' hand coming towards his head to pop him and ducked just in time, smirking at the butler. Jeeves smirked back, paused, then smacked him lightly on the head when he turned.

Sniffing in a mocking manner, Plucky answered, "I'm like your Jiminy Cricket - without me you'd be lost wooden head." At Montana's glared he stuck his tongue out and said, "Screw you, I'm a sucker for happy endings." Crawling up on his seat to lean on Montana's headrest he added, "And you're welcome. And hey Jeeves, I'm glad you're sticking around."

"Thank you Master Plucky."

"And just so you know, thanks for bringing me," Plucky said, tapping on the back of Jeeves' seat. "Sorry we were pains in the ass and all but," the duck shrugged slightly. "It wasn't all bad."

"I am delighted you had a good time," Jeeves replied. "And you were not too much of a pain; the entire ordeal was worth it simply so I could see you two floundering about in the muck while screaming."

Montana rolled his eyes. One of the less enjoyable aspects of the trip.

"So Jeeves…I tried it. Camping I mean," Montana clarified. "You can't say I didn't try it."

"No, I can not Master Montana."

"And your rule is I have to try it. You didn't say I had to like it - you said I had to try it. So…I tried it."

"Yes you did Master Montana. And?"

"It was all right," Montana said hesitantly.

He didn't want to hurt Jeeves' feelings, but he didn't want to encourage any further camping adventures either.

"I see. And you would not lie to me I am sure. So…you liked it." Jeeves smirked with a light tone that suggested disbelief. "And if I said that we had been invited again to go camping next weekend you would be interested? And you as well Plucky; I would not want you to miss out on a new adventure." After a short pause he mused, "Perhaps we will make it an entire week trip."

Montana froze, hearing Plucky make a small quiet 'eep' sound from behind him.

After a moment, Montana almost yelled, "Fine. I hated it. I hated almost every single aspect of it, from digging a hole to relieve myself in to jabbing my food with a stick to cooking over an open flame and being coated in a fine layer of dust and insect repellant despite the fact that mosquitoes don't drink blink!" Inhaling to calm his ramblings he added, "I like doing stuff with you. I am glad we made up; I think we have a better understanding of each other."

"We do - "

"And I swear I won't ever take you for granted anymore but I don't ever, ever want to do this again," Montana stressed. "This was a bloody nightmare. I like doing things with you - really - and I'm glad you brought Plucky along. Next time, can we please do something that does not involve sleeping with only a piece of nylon between ourselves and the great unknown?"

Montana was relieved to see Jeeves wearily roll his eyes before agreeing.

"Did you get it cleaned?"

Surprised at the question Montana nodded before saying, "Yeah, it came clean. Thanks. Everything is normal. Well, as normal as it gets for us. The gesture was appreciated anyway."

"I think you perhaps learned something on this trip after all, telling me that I did not end up wasting an entire weekend chasing after you."

"Uh…Jeeves?" When the man turned to him Montana said, "When we get home…I mean… OK, look, I was watching you cook before, then Foghorn this weekend…think we can resume our cooking lessons sometime?"

Jeeves looked surprised before nodding and Montana settled back in his seat, content. He hadn't lost anything this weekend after all, though he could have with his pain in the ass attitude.

He had his friends back now and he might have found another hobby. But, he had gained his family back. He didn't want to repeat the weekend, but it hadn't been a total waste of time after all.

"We will go back to the house, clean up, and meet the rest of our party for dinner," Jeeves said, breaking into Montana's thoughts. "You are of course invited Plucky. If possible, please wait to call Miss Mary until we return. While I am quite sure that was one of your many reasons for your reluctance in coming this weekend, we shall be on a tight deadline."

Montana thought about it for a moment as Plucky snorted.

She was one of the reasons. Any moment not spent kissing Mary was a moment wasted as far as he was concerned. But Mary was a pretty understanding girl; if he didn't call tonight and called tomorrow she would understand. Hopefully.

Montana decided he could call her tomorrow. Jeeves had given him the past nine years; he could spend one night not talking on the phone and just hang out with Jeeves.

"I will call her tomorrow. Perhaps when we get home tonight we can just hang out, watch television or something. Make it a family night."

He saw Jeeves grin and heard Plucky make his pleased cooing noise from the backseat again and smiled slightly to himself.

No, this weekend hadn't been a waste at all. It had just showed him exactly how much he had been taking things for granted.

He rolled his eyes though; Jeeves would no doubt bring this up in the future.

Jesus. It was a 'learning experience'.

XXXXXXXXXX

" - and we'll have to do this again…maybe by ourselves though. Or with Foghorn and Wakko - they actually seemed to have fun. I don't think the others would want to go again; I see Bugs running to the nearest spa to be waited on hand and foot for the next week."

"Yeah."

"I was really productive. I got stagnant in my writing; got lots of notes done out here."

_So did I…at least you still have your notes._

Sighing, Buster glanced over at his father as he continued to talk happily about the weekend while steering the Jeep down I-5. His father had been chatty anyway, growing more talkative as they got closer to home.

Only a few hours out now…

"I hope you had some fun anyway; I know it was bad there for you for awhile."

"Dad, I had a good time, really. If anything it helped; we can fight and argue and everything else but in the end we're still friends." Looking over and grinning at his father, Buster added, "Trust me Dad, it wasn't bad at all."

He had thought it would be for awhile, but it hadn't been bad. It had certainly ended a lot better than he had thought. Not only did he have all his friends back, the four of them had gained a bit more respect for each other.

Buster had no delusions - he knew they would all argue amongst themselves again at some point about something. While the four of them could be very alike, there were so many differences in personalities that it would be inevitable that there would be small flare ups among them.

But he was pretty sure they would never fight as violently as they had this weekend. They had gained too much respect for the various talents and interests that each other had; while he was sure the others would continue to declare him 'bossy', he was sure it would be said in more of a joking manner rather than as an insult. And some day his voice would stop cracking; he could put up with some good-natured joking about it for awhile.

The thought of losing the three of them had been depressing. Now that he knew what he could have lost - what all of them could have lost - he would try to do better at making sure their usual spats didn't get out of hand, even if he had to muzzle the other three idiots when they became too deranged.

"You four seemed like you were getting along better in the store."

"Yeah, we're fine," Buster said with a nod, deciding to rejoin his father's conversation. "It was just a big misunderstanding," he shrugged. "This time when one of us talked, the others actually listened."

They had almost been like normal, laughing and joking. Max had seemed slightly more subdued than normal. Plucky seemed slightly more hyper and Wakko wouldn't shut up about going to look for some car but their usual way of interacting with each other had seemed…different, but in a better way.

Buster couldn't put his finger on it - they were just closer, more respectful of each other and what they could have lost if not one had bothered talking for the fifteen minutes it had taken to clear the whole disagreement up.

"You'll find that lots of arguments will be avoided if you actually listen to each other," Bernie said, glancing at him. "Half of Bugs' problems would have been avoided if he had just listened…and kept his eyes open more."

"Right, though we wouldn't have laughed as hard if he did listen."

"Well, no, Bugs provided a good amount of entertainment on the trip." Cutting his eyes to Buster he asked, "You have a good time? Really?"

Buster thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, yeah I did. Thanks - this was a good idea. Maybe we should go again - by ourselves. I don't think Monty and Plucky had as bad a time as they made out, not really, but I doubt they would ever want to go again."

"You four were entertaining, I'll say that," Bernie said. "But amidst all the craziness I think everyone still found time to settle down and relax. Like I said, I got bitten by a brainstorming bug - even started working on a new story."

Curious, Buster asked, "What about?"

"Oh, new script," Bernie said, waving him off. "For the Warners - about if Dr. Scratchansniff went on vacation and the Warners snuck along."

"In the woods?"

"Oh, the woods, a cruise ship, a trip …still needs a lot of work. I've got plenty of time to work on it," Bernie said. "Watching you four got me thinking about a few plot ideas. I get a lot of my inspiration just from watching you."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah; lots of my story ideas I get from real life. Not every story has to be completely fantastical. Sometimes, truth is stranger and more entertaining than anything that you could dream up in your head."

_Good to know._

Buster continued to listen, turning in his seat and pushing the seatbelt out of his face to watch his father better. Just because he had made the decision not to write anymore didn't mean he couldn't pay attention to what his father was saying.

" - and not sure how many more I'm going to be able to use for 'Animaniacs' though or any of the other shows. The marketing department for the studio wants to start taking some shows in a different direction. I've got a few scripts half finished that I turned in and they were given back." Shaking his head with a wry grin he added, "Not politically correct enough. Want more kid friendly learning shows with less comedy."

"Maybe you should do a script about that?" Buster suggested. "It could be like one of those stupid very special episodes, and if anyone could make that funny, you could."

"Not a bad idea; I might," Bernie mused.

Buster watched him for a moment, almost seeing the wheels in Dad's head turning as he began to formulate ideas.

"Will they cancel 'Animaniacs'?" Buster asked, curious and a bit worried. "And if that happens, what will happen to you? And Wakko? The Warners live - "

"Oh, don't worry about that Buster," Bernie said, putting his hand on Buster's head comfortingly. "I doubt the show will be cancelled anytime soon; it's too popular, and if it's popular, it's making money. How many shows have I written for that got cancelled? They always need script writers; I'll just move to another show."

Buster nodded. That was true and Dad was well known and talented enough he could get work anywhere in the industry. Even if it wasn't script writing; he could write for lots of things. And he was always working on a new idea for a book or short story.

" - and even if it did get cancelled, Yakko and the others signed the _guardian ad slavus_ . The Warners will be safe until Yakko turns eighteen." Chuckling he added, "Even if the studio wanted to renege on the deal, I think there's two or three people around who would willingly sign guardianship papers for the three of them. TIS would have a bad time trying to fight Bugs for them."

Buster breathed a sigh of relief. That was also true; the Warners would be safe regardless of what happened with their show. He had a fear of his friend being dragged back to a home and disappearing in the system.

" - and before I forget…"

Frowning, Buster watched as his father leaned forward, one hand gripping the steering wheel while the other went back into his Hammerspace. After a few seconds he brought something out.

A brown, leather wrapped book.

_Oh no…_

"Think this is yours." Bernie held it up for a few seconds before holding it out to him. "Or I figure anyway." When he didn't get an answer he asked, "Is it or am I way off base here?"

Swallowing hard and nodding, Buster reached out, closing his fingers around the book, half in sweet relief that it was back in his possession and not floating around where anyone could find it. The other half of him was confused and terrified - where had he found it? Had he read it? Had anyone else? If he had read anything, what did he think? Was he embarrassed that his son wasn't a great writer like he was?

Looking at the cover, which was slightly battered and dusty but otherwise unharmed, Buster asked quietly, "Where did you find it?"

"I didn't," Bernie said, giving him a grin. "Foghorn did, him and Wakko - "

"What?" Buster croaked, growing worried.

He was surprised that Wakko hadn't said anything. Buster was amazed that he hadn't laughed and laughed about his best friend having such a nerdy hobby.

And Foghorn - Buster knew the rooster was obviously intelligent and saw more than he let on a lot of times, but he couldn't see him being overly impressed with writing as a hobby. It wasn't manly, not like working on cars or talking about motorcycles and sports -

"Yeah, found it when they were walking on the trail. Foghorn looked at it, read a few passages - "

Buster felt himself blushing and starting to sink lower in his seat.

If he had read any mention of Babs…

His life was over. He was going back to the campsite and finding the first bear he could and begging it to eat him, just to put him out of his misery.

" -after reading a few things, he thought it was mine," Bernie finished. "When he gave it to me I was surprised for a few seconds. When I looked through it I figured out whose it probably was."

_Oh no, Dad read it too?_

This was one of those all encompassing public humiliations that Buster had always read about in books. He had always dreaded it happening to him but he had never really expected it would happen. And his father had a weird look on his face, like he was going to get sick any minute.

That gave Buster his answer before he even asked the question.

Dad didn't think anything he had written was worthwhile. It was all bland, uninspired tripe, not worthy of being ripped out to line the bottom of a bird cage let alone being read by anyone. Dad was ashamed that his son had gotten none of his writing talent and was insulted that he would cheapen the art by trying his unskilled hand at it.

Buster looked at the book briefly, contemplating tossing it out the window. He could tell his father that he had been goofing around or trying to entertain the guys. He could say anything except that he hadn't been seriously attempting to write like him.

"Look, Dad, this really wasn't - "

"I didn't read everything - "

_Oh thank God._

" - and I was just trying - "

" - because there's quite a bit in there," Bernie finished, taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds to look at him. "But what I glanced at was pretty good."

Buster stopped talking and trying to offer excuses at that statement.

_Pretty good? Dad thought what he read was 'pretty good'?_

"You..you did?"

Buster sat up a little straighter. Dad was complimenting his writing; he wasn't offended or insulted that his son was writing.

"Well yeah; you're really good at content and description." Stealing a little glance at Buster he added, "Doesn't seem like I'm the only one that pulls from life experiences - I noticed some familiar personalities here and there."

Buster felt himself color again. Sounded like Dad came across some of the stories he would rather he have not read.

"When did you start writing?"

Shrugging Buster muttered, "When I broke my leg a few years ago. I got bored with playing video games all the time; I watched you so often I picked up a pencil and started playing around." Holding the book up a bit he added, "I bought this awhile ago - I thought it looked cool, like something Indiana Jones would use."

Laughing, Dad said, "Yeah, it does! My first book was black leather; reminded me of something James Bond would have written in."

Buster snorted, not surprised. His father loved Bond movies. Buster liked them well enough, but what he really liked about them was curling up next to his father on the couch with a bowl of popcorn watching them. He had written several super spy stories, getting inspired after an afternoon marathon of watching the movies with his father.

Pursing his lips, Bernie added, "Like I said, I didn't read much - "

"Thanks," Buster mumbled.

Dad could have read the whole book if he had wanted to, but he said he didn't. Buster was happy to hear that; Dad hadn't tried to embarrass him by reading stuff he had wanted to keep private. Dad had also picked up on the fact that he wanted to keep his hobby secret by not making a big deal when Foghorn found the book.

And Foghorn glanced at it enough to think that Dad had written his stories? Dad, a professional writer? That was kinda cool.

" - and I'd like to read more but…" Dad trailed off and shrugged. "I'm a little disappointed you didn't want to share them, but I understand. I have a file of stuff I don't want anyone to read."

"I didn't want to share them because I didn't want to disappoint you," Buster said sheepishly. "They're not very good - "

"Well, how would you know if no one else has read them? And what I saw I thought was great. I'm actually quite proud your writing!" Dad said, sounding pleased. "There's no way I would be disappointed! There's no greater honor than for your son to take after your own profession."

"Really? Because I'm not as good as you - "

"Well first, don't compare yourself to me. Don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself. Write to please you, not me, not your friends." Putting his hand on Buster's head again he said, "I'm still so thrilled and proud you write - and for this long. Even your mother would be proud - Holly wrote some too."

"Really? I thought she was a cook?"

"What, all she could do was cook? You can have more than one talent you know," Dad said. "Holly wrote mostly poetry, a few parodies, nothing real long or epic."

"Well, I'm like Mom then," Buster sighed, halfheartedly flipping through his book. "I've never written anything epic either."

"You're just starting out Buster, finding your own style and interests," Dad said. "If you enjoy it and stick with it, you'll be writing epics in no time."

_Maybe…_

_No, I swore off this hobby…didn't I?_

Buster wasn't so sure now though. His book was back, his father wasn't offended or embarrassed; he sounded really happy to find out he was writing.

"Did Mom ever have anything published?"

"Nah, she wasn't interested in that. She just wrote for fun."

"For fun?"

"Yeah, she enjoyed it. Holly was a big reader anyway; had a voracious appetite for literature. It was only natural she'd enjoy writing as well. But she liked writing."

"I like it," Buster said quietly. "A lot."

"And that statement right there makes the best writers. You should write because you feel like writing."

"I just didn't show you or tell anyone because…" He paused a moment while thinking and phrasing what he wanted to say in his head. "Everyone would laugh, think I was trying to be like you even though I wanted to write - "

"Why? You four give each other a hard time, but it's no different than Wakko's love of cars. You have a different interest than them; you respect theirs right?"

Buster nodded; even if he didn't before, he did after this weekend.

"Then they should be able to respect yours as well."

"They would probably think my stories are lame and laugh - "

"Buster, write to please yourself, not someone else. And I hope you don't think I would laugh," Bernie said, looking down his nose at him.

"No…I was afraid you'd be embarrassed," Buster sighed. "That the son of a writer was this bad - "

"But you're not bad," Bernie insisted. "True, you need some help in a few areas, but no writer's perfect. Even I have people read over my work; I miss stuff all the time, confuse facts, repeat myself…" Dad gripped the steering wheel a bit harder for a moment before saying softly, "If you want, I kept her writings. If you want to read any of them."

"I do!" Buster said enthusiastically while wincing at his still cracking voice.

"I'll show you when we get home," Bernie said. "And if you ever want to…I don't know…share ideas or decide you want a proofreader…"

Buster nodded but didn't speak, looking at one story he had written a few weeks prior about a heroic daring young pirate. He was quite proud of it; the dashing pirate - the youngest pirate ever - sees and rescues a pretty serving girl from having to walk the plank because she didn't want to marry the cruel captain.

He began to skim his writing. He had been reading a book on pirates at the time for his social studies class and he had tried to be really descriptive. Like when the young swashbuckler attacked the English ship, swinging across the rope he could feel the rough rope under his gloves. Or when he fought with all the soldiers on the plank when he was grabbing the girl the waves were splashing the icy Caribbean waters up on him…

He held the spot with his thumb. He might not want to share everything he had written with his father, but maybe this one. He liked most of it, but he knew it needed some help.

"I think…I have this one story I wrote," Buster said, glancing at his father before looking out the window nervously. "I'd kinda like some help, if you want to read it…it's got lots of action and stuff. When we get home, if you want…"

"I'd love to," Bernie said warmly before grinning widely. "Thank you for trusting me." Looking out the window before stealing a glance at Buster he added, "I was worried that this weekend had been a waste, that you didn't have any fun, but I think it was a success. I hope, in time, that you'll be proud of your writings and you'll want to show them off to other people."

Listening to his father begin talking about how he started writing when he was Buster's age, Buster leaned forward eagerly in the seat. While listening and enjoying the new level of closeness with his father, he thought that the weekend had been a total success after all - and he couldn't wait to get home.

He was closer to his father than ever, he was closer to his friends than ever, and someday, he might have enough confidence in his own work to talk about his favorite hobby as much as Wakko or the others talked about theirs.

XXXXXXXXXX

" - and you should have seen them hanging - "

"Seen? You should have heard them - "

"Shut up Max - our screams still weren't as loud as yours were when we dropped - "

"Yeah, you were def - "

"No way!"

Surprised, amused and feeling slightly left out, Dot delicately took a bite of her chicken nugget as the four boys talked over each other.

She was a bit startled at the pranks; a few had seemed vicious. She shook her head; once again the boys managed to surprise her. The meaner they were to each other the happy they appeared to be.

Dot shrugged as Max and Plucky began to describe in detail exactly how awful Wakko was at swimming and the shade of green he turned when he went up the tree in the snare.

She couldn't understand them, but they appeared to have had fun even if Max and Plucky swore they would never go again. The four of them were all gathered around each other talking and laughing, Upon arriving at the restaurant, the boys had quickly taken the end of the table, out of reach of the adults and had happily began regaling her with tales of their weekend.

They weren't as deep as Yakko, but they never were. Yakko had come with Bugs to pick her up from Molly's house and they had both told her how beautiful the area was and the things they saw and did. Even Bugs wasn't left out of the fun; apparently when they weren't trying to antagonize each other, Bugs was the victim of their pranks.

But at least Yakko had listened to her talk about her own weekend; she had tried twice to talk to the Fab Four but each time she started one of them would begin talking and the conversation would immediately turn to them.

It did sound like they had fun…Dot could admit she was a bit jealous; it did sound like fun. Maybe not the skunk being dropped on her head; happily Wakko had just gifted her with a stuffed one instead.

Laughing at something Wakko said, Dot looked over at her other brother. Yakko was in some deep conversation with Bugs and Mr. Bunny, while Foghorn and Jeeves were talking, the rooster half bent over the table to speak quietly to the amused looking butler.

She sighed happily; Yakko looked a lot better than he had been. The past few weeks he had seemed stiff and unhappy, but now he looked like his relaxed normal self, happily talking to his friends. Dot noticed that he seemed more comfortable with them, easily trading jokes and laughing.

Bugs had told her that Foghorn had even let Yakko drive his truck which surprised her. Foghorn could get defensive about his truck. But Yakko had beamed when Bugs had spoken about it - Dot wished she could have seen it. She knew he must have been great like he always was at stuff.

Figures, she missed all the good stuff. Again. But she was happy her oldest brother was back to normal. She missed Goose too, but Yakko had taken her death very hard and she had been worried about him even though he kept insisting everything was fine and he was alright.

Like Wakko, she could pick up that he was lying about it.

" - and it's too bad you couldn't come Dot, you would have loved it."

"I know Wakko," Dot sighed, looking back at him. "I wanted to go really bad! Molly wanted to go too - "

"Why?" Max said, laughing and tossing a napkin at Plucky. "No one wanted to have a tea party in the woods."

Dot turned to give Max a nasty look. Wakko and Buster did well by dropping a skunk on him.

"Yeah, that's why there was no girls there," Buster agreed. "It's not like you and Molly would want to swim in the lake or sleep in a tent."

She decided that Max and Plucky did just as well by flinging Buster and Wakko up in the trees.

"Yes we would have!" Dot said loudly. "We slept in a tent - "

"Where, the backyard?" Wakko laughed. "Come on Dot, you and Molly screamed when me and Buster had worms - "

"Only because you were trying to throw them on us!" Dot hissed, curling her lip up slightly in disgust. "You don't have to be gross to want to go camping - "

"But it helps," Buster said, getting a small smirk on his face. "You would have been scared all weekend. You would have died if you had seen all the mud and dirt - "

"I'm just thinking about her sitting in the mudhole singing 'I'm Cute'," Plucky drawled, causing the others to laugh. "If nothing else her singing could scare off the bears."

Dot felt her good disposition towards the four boys evaporate.

They had been decent; she should have figured at some point they'd go back to being jerks towards her. They didn't have anyone else to direct their nasty little jokes all weekend so they had tortured each other. Now that they were back they had a new target; her.

She just wanted to tell them about her weekend; Wakko had even said he wanted to hear about it even though she knew he didn't like horses.

Maybe if she tried…

"And I'm sure you looked real manly out there Plucky," Dot said in an even tone, glaring at the duck. "Especially when you were screaming in the mudhole for someone to save you. What?" She asked when the four of them blinked and looked at her. "Did you think you idiots were the only ones that were going to tell me about the weekend? I heard your voice went to almost ultrasonic at one point Max."

She sighed in relief; thankfully Yakko had filled her in on the parts the four of them neglected to tell her.

She really wished she could have seen the four of them floundering in the mud, thinking they were about to get eaten by a monster. Yakko didn't pull huge pranks often, but when he did he really went all out. She never even thought about the other adults pulling pranks. Bugs maybe here and there but Porky wasn't a bit prank puller.

"I was not scared," Max snapped. "I was - "

"What? Trying to make enough noise to scare off the animals?" Dot asked, pleased that she had managed to silence them mostly. "Anyway, I'm glad you had fun. I had fun too."

She started to tell them about her weekend, how her, Molly and Webbigale gorged themselves on funnel cake. How Molly climbed up on the counter and almost fell into the cotton candy maker and how Ms. Cunningham got so mad at her they almost left and about all the different horses they saw. About how she was excited to have seen that horse show and was looking forward to taking part in the upcoming one.

She could also see she was quickly losing their interest. Max threw a fry at Wakko, who threw one back. Then Buster got involved, then Plucky and soon there was a small food fight going on. Dot sighed, wishing she was sitting near Yakko. Yakko would listen; he always listened.

" - then we went shopping!"

She noticed the four of them pause long enough to smirk and roll their eyes and she braced, already knowing some insult was coming.

"Figures, shopping," Plucky said. "They probably tried on their frilly pink dresses and did each other's hair - "

"All while moaning that each and every dress made them look fat," Buster chimed in.

"No fathead," Dot snapped, clenching her fists under the table. "We went looking for our outfits for the show!" Seeing the four blank looks being directed at her she calmed down slightly.

They were boys, therefore stupid. They needed things explained to them slowly and with as few big words as possible.

"They'll be ready in a week. Don't you four pay attention?"

Seeing the looks not change, she sighed.

"I said I have a horse show coming up, and I'm gonna be doing a jump - "

Dot heard Wakko mutter 'oh God again? I'm not going' and turned to glare at him.

"It's not just any show! This one's special -I'm gonna jump and you're gonna be there."

"No I'm not," Wakko said, already turning from her to talk to Buster. "I've got plans."

"You don't even know when it is!" Dot almost yelled at his back.

"I don't have to - trust me, I'll make plans."

_I wish they had left you in the tree!_

Why did he have to be a pain? He had been nice before, giving her the skunk and saying he wished she could have gone with them and he sorta missed her. Now he was back to being a jerk.

She wanted him to go. Even if he didn't want to go she wanted him there, watching and cheering for her and telling her she did 'faboo' even if she didn't.

She swiped at her eyes, already growing frustrated and upset at the boys laughing and her brother's stubborn instance on being a jerk.

"Wakko, you have to go! Yakko said so!"

_And I want you there!_

"Dot, I don't like horses. I don't want to be around them; they're smelly and boring - "

"Funny, so are you and your friends, but I'm not only around them, I'm eating with them," she snapped back.

"I assure you I do not smell," Max said haughtily. "Upon entering my house before getting dragged to this asinine dinner party I can promise you I showered for almost an hour."

"It didn't help," Plucky answered.

Ignoring them, Dot addressed Wakko again.

"Well, Yakko said you had to come - "

"Big surprise," Wakko muttered. "Figures he doesn't ask me, he just assumes I want to do everything he does." Louder he added, "And I'm not; I'm going to look for a car with Foghorn and Yakko said I could go. And there's a few car shows coming up - "

"When?"

When Wakko didn't answer Dot asked again. When he still ignored her Dot threw her napkin on the table, saying, "Fine, I'll ask Foghorn. In fact I'll even invite him to come so you won't be able to get away with not coming! How do you like that?"

"Not as much as I'm gonna like seeing him tell you he prefers four-hundred horses to your measly one," Wakko smirked. "No one cares about your stupid little horse."

"It's not stupid! No one cares about your stupid cars either but - "

"I'd rather hear about cars than horses," Plucky moaned. "But I don't care about either. Can't you take your sibling squabble somewhere else?"

"Shut up Plucky!" Dot said sharply. Turning back to Wakko she said, "And I'm gonna ask him right now!"

"He's not gonna wanna watch a bunch of girls," Wakko laughed. "No one likes to watch girls - "

"Speak for yourself Mime," Max said from across the table, where he was watching the conversation with an air of bored amusement. "Depending on what they're doing, I know I enjoy watching girls. You'd be amazed at the things I've seen them do on…certain channels - "

"And besides, you don't even know where he is," Wakko said, pointing and ignoring Max. "He left the table with Jeeves a few minutes ago."

Fuming and starting to grow upset, Dot looked towards the other end of the table. Foghorn and Jeeves were gone; she hadn't noticed.

"Well, I'm gonna find him!"

"You do that."

Seeing the four boys huddle over the table top at each other, whispering and laughing, Dot felt her face start to twist into a pout.

"I will!" Standing in her chair she added, "You just wait! I'm gonna find Foghorn and ask him and he's gonna say yes and tell you - "

"You can ask - I say - you can ask and I might say yes. Mostly depends on what it is I guess."

_Shoot._

Dot turned, seeing Foghorn looking at her with a quizzical expression. Beside him Jeeves was surveying the entire group with a curious look, finally turning his gaze to Max.

Dot blushed slightly - she had intended on finding the big rooster and asking him, but without an audience. If he said 'no' at least the boys wouldn't hear and say 'told ya so' before laughing at her again.

But she also knew Foghorn was a bit of a sucker for a sweet face and a pouty look. He was almost as bad as Yakko; a bit of a pleading tone, bat her eyes and say pretty please and they mostly let her have her way. Flash the dimples if things started going in a bad direction and she could have him and half the other adults eating out of her hand.

"Just sit down Dot," Wakko said, leaning back in his chair and looking pleased. "He's gonna say no - "

"Don't say what I'm gonna say boy!" Foghorn boomed, putting a hand firmly on Wakko's shoulder. "Do that all the time - always trying to put words in my mouth! Speak too much boy - gotta listen sometimes!"

"Huh?"

Dot ignored Wakko's confused look, instead turning and putting on her most winning smile for Foghorn and leaning on the back of the chair so she could look directly into Foghorn's face.

"Foghorn! Oh I was hoping to find you!" She said breathlessly.

Lisa said if you could get a boy to believe that you thought he was the most important thing in the world, you could get them to do pretty much anything you wanted. Right now, her attention was solely on Foghorn - he was the most important thing in the universe right now.

She'd show those stupid boys.

"Well here I am little miss. Must be important - I say - must be important, way you're fretting and - "

"Oh it is!" Dot gushed, talking over him. "See, I was telling Wakko and the rest of the buttheads about my horse show. I'm gonna do a jump this time, not just the little kid stuff of sitting on the horse, but going over a hurdle."

"Sounds like - I say - sounds like an impressive feat!"

"Oh it's gonna be!" Dot bragged. "I've been working on it for months because I want everyone to see it and be proud of me!"

"Well now - sounds fascinating. You can tell me all about it later on - "

"And Wakko said you don't like horses - "

"No I didn't!"

" - and you wouldn't want to come watch some dumb horse show!" Batting her eyes at Foghorn and clasping her hands under her chin she asked, "And that's not true is it?" Twisting her mouth downwards in a slight frown while widening her eyes she asked beseechingly, "And you like me right?"

"Boy what've you been telling her?" Foghorn said, cutting his eyes to Wakko. Turning back to Dot he said, "Course I like you! And I like the little horses and pony's and farm critters - "

"So you'll come to the show and watch?"

"Huh? Me?"

Dot watched as Foghorn turned to give Wakko a withering look.

"Yes you Foghorn!" Standing up fully in the chair and twitching her tail delicately she added, "I really want you there! I want all my friends there! And you're my friend right?"

Foghorn blinked, looking surprised before crouching next to the chair to look her directly in the face.

"Course I'm you're friend - don't be ridiculous!"

"But he's not gonna watch your horse thing," Wakko said, looking at Foghorn. "We're supposed to look for a car - "

"So you're gonna come?" Dot gasped, partially acting but partially excited, looking directly into Foghorn's face and ignoring Wakko.

She thought Foghorn might say no or have some excuse not to come, like saying he had something else planned but he seemed serious. He was plastering a big smile on his beak while shooting a look towards Wakko who glared at him.

"I'd love - I say - I'd love to come watch you jumping and prancing around on your pony - "

"What? Foghorn!"

Dot beamed up at Foghorn as Wakko started whining and the other boys laughed. She ignored them; at least they were laughing at Wakko instead of her for once.

"Damn Mime, looks like you lost," Max jeered happily, ducking the fries Wakko threw at him. "So which is fruiter in your opinion? A horse show or my fencing?"

"You will? Oh thank you!" Dot exclaimed, throwing her arms around the startled rooster's neck. "It's gonna be fun - "

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Foghorn grunted, briefly putting his massive arms around her and engulfing her in a blanket of warm feathers. "Sounds like fun - "

"Oh it will be!" Dot exclaimed, throwing a triumphant look at Wakko who was sulking. "There's the contests and shows and they'll be petting zoos and funnel cakes and - "

"It's gonna be so boring!" Wakko moaned, briefly hiding his hands in his face while the others continued to laugh. "Don't go Foghorn, we're supposed to go look at cars!"

"Those cars been rusting - I say - those cars been rusting in some forgotten barn for thirty plus years boy. They'll wait another couple weeks for us. Little miss here only does her first horse show once. Don't wanna miss that."

"Speak for yourself. I don't wanna go!"

Dot tilted her head, curious, when Foghorn leaned over towards Wakko. Raising her ears she was able to hear Foghorn mutter very quietly 'relax Socket; sometimes gotta do what you don't wanna do, especially for family'.

_Socket?_

She frowned, wondering what that meant. Wasn't a socket a tool?

When Wakko went to speak and Foghorn cocked an eyebrow at him he quieted and Dot put it out of her mind.

Boys were weird. She heard the things they called each other in front of people; who knew what they did when no one was around. It seemed to make Wakko feel better though so she decided to be happy. After all, she won - not only was Wakko going to have to show up, now Foghorn would be there too and she honestly liked the big rooster. And maybe he would have fun; if looked at that way she decided she didn't need to feel even the slightest bit guilty about asking him to go just so Wakko would have to go.

"It's all settled then," Foghorn said, standing and stepping back to stand near Jeeves. "I'll be there - whole group's gonna be there." Cutting his eyes to Jeeves he added, "Know you Brits like your horses - "

"Indeed." Looking down at Dot Jeeves asked, "You ride English I presume." At her nod he nodded. "Very good. I prefer Western riding on my television."

"Oh." After a moment Dot hesitantly asked, "Do you ride?"

"Quite well," Jeeves answered. "I used to play polo - "

"Now hold on - I say - now hold on there!" Foghorn said loudly, putting a hand on Jeeves shoulder and almost physically turning him around. "You didn't say anything about no polo! I'll try golf - I aint getting on no pony!"

"Relax Mister Foghorn," Jeeves said calmly. "No one would let any animal suffer such a fate." Looking Foghorn up and down he added, "You would need two horses anyway. You could have one under each foot and ride them like you were in the Moscow Circus."

Dot watched, breath held and eyes wide as Foghorn started before laughing at the comment. She felt herself relax; at least Foghorn wasn't mad.

"I wish you the best of luck at your show Miss Dorothy - "

"It's Dot. Not Dorothy," Dot said insistently before beaming. "And you can come too! Leave Max at home."

"Capital idea!" Max called from across the table. "Jeeves, listen to the girl."

"No, I do not think I will do that," Jeeves muttered quietly. "Though I can assure you Miss Dorothy - "

"Dot. Just Dot."

" - that we will both be there."

Max let out a noise that sounded like something dieing before saying, "Hell no Jeeves. I don't ride horses and I don't watch them either - "

"You briefly rode at one time Master Montana - "

"Yeah, real brief," Max snorted. "Unless you find a horse with 'Bentley' stamped on its ass I'm not riding it and I'm not going to any damn kid show to watch it."

"You said that about camping. Correct me if I am wrong though but did we not just spend three nights in the woods?"

When Max opened his mouth to protest further Jeeves added, "Consider it yet another learning experience on the road to manhood. We're going."

Dot saw Max snap his mouth shut before beginning to rumble and mutter under his breath saying 'This is your fault Wakko; just had to drag the rooster up into this chicken shit conversation'.

She ignored him, giving a cheery wave as the two adults meandered towards the other end of the table.

"I might have to go but I won't like it," Wakko said, slumping back in his chair with his arms folded. "Don't gloat; it's not cute."

"I'm always cute," Dot said brazenly. "You're just mad I was right and you were wrong."

"Monty, you looked pissed," Plucky said, sharing a relieved look at Buster since neither of them had been suckered into going.

"Oh you think genius?" Max asked snidely. "Would have been nice of you to help me out."

"Sorry Monty, didn't want to attract attention to myself," the duck shrugged.

"Cowardly craven duck."

"The day you have to go to that - I'm not spending the night at your house."

"Asshole."

Dot threw Wakko a triumphant look, feeling inordinately pleased with herself. Now two more people would be coming; Max would be a jerk and probably boo her from the sidelines, but she bet the others would cheer for her.

Her first real show; not just sitting on the horse or going around at a lopping trot, but a real maneuver she would be judged on. It wasn't going to be a big jump, but she was excited about it. She wanted to invite anyone she knew to come watch; Bugs said he was going to come.

Porky was obviously going, not only to offer her moral support but because he was volunteering to help organize parts of the show, directing the contestants to their positions and stuff. Plus, he was treasurer of the Neighborhood Horse Association - ToonTown Chapter. And it wasn't even going to be a show restricted to ToonTown like the last few she had participated in; it would be outside the town.

Dot couldn't wait; for once she was going to shine, and not just because she was 'Dot Warner' or the sister of Yakko. People were going to go and just see her, not the actress, not the family act, or a studio publicity stunt, just her.

Lost in thoughts about the show, Dot started to sit back down in her chair with the intent on finishing her meal. Not paying attention she sharply rapped her knee on the table, causing it to jump.

In show motion she saw her cup of soda spill and she let out a shriek of dismay, seeing it fall over, drenching her shirt and skirt and splattering on her face.

She felt her lower lip start to tremble as almost everyone in the restaurant turned in her direction and the four boys started laughing.

"Brilliant Miss Dorothy, real graceful and elegant," Max howled, smirking nastily at her. "You're gonna wow them at the show with that maneuver!"

"I'm happy it wasn't her fancy show clothes," Wakko laughed, wiping at his eyes as he grabbed a few napkins to begin blotting up the soda dripping in a small brown stream off the edge of the table. "She'd probably want me with her to by more and tell her which - "

"Oh shut up Wakko!" She snapped, cringing in embarrassment and snatching some napkins to try to wipe down her face. "All of you just shut up!"

They didn't; they kept laughing at her and she wanted to cry and smack all of them at the same time.

Maybe she shouldn't have made Wakko come, or Max. If she hadn't stood in her chair to talk to Foghorn she wouldn't have hit the table and spilled the soda. If she hadn't done that she wouldn't be the laughing stock of the restaurant.

She clenched her fists and sniffed, determined not to cry, not here, not in front of all these people and especially in front of these four -

"Settle down you goofs. Covered in soda she still doesn't look as foolish as you four in the mud puddle."

Dot turned, breathing a sigh of relief. Not matter what happened Yakko would help her. He always helped her and stood up for her.

"Oh come on Yakko, it's funny!" Buster exclaimed while looking like he was at least making an effort at not laughing.

"No it's not!" Dot snapped angrily while climbing down out of her chair, slipping slightly as her feet hit the wet floor. "This is my favorite - "

"Oh go buy a new one," Max chuckled. "It's just a shirt - "

"That wasn't what you were saying when you were marinating in tomato soup and vinegar," Yakko said, directing his attention towards Max. "At least we can wash Dot's shirt; yours had to be burned if I remember right stinky."

Dot smirked slightly as Yakko's comment wiped the smile off Max's face. Even Plucky stopped laughing as hard as he had been.

"Let's go Dot," Yakko sighed, gently steering her away from the table. "I'll take you to the bathroom, get you cleaned up - "

"I can do it," she said insistently.

"I know you can do it but I don't want you wandering around this place by yourself," Yakko replied before shrugging. "I've been listening to Bugs run the waiter ragged while regaling him with his drama queen attitude about 'the weekend he had. I lived it once; I don't need to revisit it the actual night I get home. Besides, if I have to listen to the four goofs howl over a glass of spilled soda I'm going to lose what little bit of sanity I have left after this weekend."

Sniffing, Dot nodded, sorry Yakko had to leave the table and whatever conversation he had been having, but happy he had.

"I just wish I could get them back," Dot said, clenching her fists. "I wouldn't have laughed at them if - "

"That's because you have more brains than the four of them put together," Yakko interrupted, leading her down the long hallway. "And more maturity and common sense."

"Everyone saw - "

"Oh who cares," Yakko said dismissively, waving a hand towards the restaurant. "I can't imagine that everyone in this place was that interested in someone accidentally spilling a soda."

Dot nodded, hoping he was correct.

"Forget them," Yakko said, putting one arm around her shoulder while avoiding the soggiest spots on her shirt. "Come on cheer up. I heard you got Foghorn and Jeeves coming to watch you."

"And Max. And Wakko." Sniffing and sounding as gloomy as she now felt she added softly, "Nether of them wants to go and hates me. I should tell them they don't have to go - "

"Hey, none of that," Yakko said, crouching down to eye level with her. "Neither of them hate you - "

_Should have heard what they said; you'd think differently._

" - they'll have lots of fun…probably. I mean they didn't want to go camping but they went and liked it…sort of…sometimes. And everyone wants to go and see you perform." Managing to hug her and not get soda on himself he added, "And I know I want to see you - doesn't that count?"

Dot nodded, accepting the hug. Of course it did; even if no one else showed up, seeing Yakko on the sidelines cheering her on would be rewarding enough.

"You're gonna do great."

"Hope so," Dot said. "I hope they won't spoil it - "

"They won't," Yakko said, getting a dark look on his face. "If they try, I'll throw them in the pen with the wild bulls and have the other riders use them for the calf-roping portion of the show."

Dot giggled and Yakko grinned at her.

"Go get cleaned up, I'll wait here," he said, pointing towards the girl's bathroom while leaning against several boxes that were piled against the wall.

He turned to look up at the boxes briefly before looking at her, starting, then looking at the boxes again. Dot watched him, seeing a strange gleam begin to shine in his eyes.

"Hey Dot…remember what you said before, about wanting to pull a big prank like we did on the boys?"

Curious, Dot nodded. She did; she was jealous that Wakko got to do something with Yakko she didn't get to do. She had been envious when told about the prank in the car the adults pulled with Yakko. She loved Yakko and he always did all sorts of neat stuff with her, but she'd really like to pull a prank with him.

Still eyeing the boxes, Yakko asked quietly, "Wanna pull one?"

"Huh?" Confused but intrigued, Dot stepped forward, ignoring her sticky shirt and skirt. "Didn't you say - "

"Well, some pranks are bad; like the snares. Others though…" Yakko trailed off for a few seconds before muttering to himself, "It's just…thinking ahead…you can hand me these…I really shouldn't; I'm supposed to be an adult; they've started to really accept me…but could it be pinned…course you'll have to be sworn to secrecy…"

Dot frowned slightly, wondering if Yakko had managed to get some sort of brain injury in the woods. It did sound like a wild weekend.

"You're right…we shouldn't…"

"I want to!" Dot said quickly, not wanting Yakko to drop the idea before he even said it. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing dangerous…and if we play this right, nothing that can be pinned on us. Definitely shut the boys up though - "

"I'm in," Dot said immediately.

"Good…"

Trailing off, Yakko looked around before quickly tearing into one of the boxes.

"Hurry and get cleaned up as best you can. Come right out; I'll be here waiting. Then we're gonna take a little trip out the back door."

Watching Yakko begin to shove rolls in his Hammerspace, Dot quickly turned and ran into the bathroom. Her weekend might not have been as wild as the boys was, but it was going to end on a high note.

XXXXXXXXXX

_This is priceless…_

" - and I wanna know who did it…now!"

"But it wasn't us - "

"It never is!" Bugs snapped, silencing Buster.

"Calm down Bugs," Mister Bunny managed to choke out in-between his laughter. "The boys were all with us - "

"Oh, sticking up for them - again - even knowing what they're like and watching them this weekend!" Bugs fumed, stalking around the lot and glaring at all the curious restaurant patrons entering or exiting the establishment. "The insanity never ends with this crew!"

"Once again you're just over exaggerating," Foghorn roared, slapping his knee in merriment. "Look at the little tykes - all innocent and - "

"Over exaggerating? Innocent little tykes? Look at my car doc!" Turning to glare at the four boys Bugs snarled, "OK, which one do I kill first?"

"No blood shed, Bugs," Foghorn said, grabbing Bugs' arm. "They're kids - I say - they're kids. Just a harmless prank." Chuckling as he examined the vehicle thoughtfully he added, "Things wrapped up tighter than a Christmas present; only thing it needs is a big bow. Boys sure know how to wrap a car, gotta give em that - "

"Again! Why am I again the target!" Bugs fumed before he said beseechingly, "I'm a reasonable bunny! I don't bother the kids!" Whirling around to face the four stunned boys he demanded, "Why me huh? I swear I like you kids! I figured the scare in the woods would be enough but no…you wanna prank war? I'll get you four!"

Feeling a large smile come to his own face as the rabbit swore revenge on a group of eleven and twelve year olds, Yakko glanced down at Dot and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She looked up and shared a conspiratal smirk with him before turning her wide dark eyes back to Bugs' car.

Yakko tried to keep most of the smirk off his face as he watched the group. The four boys were amused, stunned, and slightly worried; Bugs had a rabid look on his face.

"Toilet paper! Again! You four maroons don't learn!"

Amid the boys' protests and the roars of laughter coming from anyone near, Yakko watched the manager come out, looking panicky as he headed towards the enraged Bugs.

"Mister Bugs! My word - I'm so sorry - "

"I'm sorry too!" Bugs sighed dramatically. "It's my fault for associating with these four goons."

Yakko watched the twitchy man apologize to Bugs repeatedly, offering to send his employees out to take every single sheet of toilet paper off the Mercedes and about how these sort of shenanigans never happen at his establishment.

Yakko rolled his eyes. He didn't think ahead much when he came up with the prank despite assuring Dot that this would be fine. He knew the boys would get blamed since they had a reputation for this sort of prank and he knew good and well it would get Bugs all worked up. And just boxes and boxes of toilet paper sitting outside the storage room just waiting to be put to a good use…

He hadn't foreseen the manager of the eatery having a heart attack because one of his best customers who was also one of the biggest stars in ToonTown got his car toilet papered in the alleyway.

Wait until they looked a bit further down the alleyway…

"I can assure you sir, this will never happen again! When you come back, if you will call ahead I will move my car and you can have my own personal parking space!"

"When I come back I won't have the four terrors with me and won't have to worry about this sort of malarkey!"

Yakko snorted quietly to himself, exchanging a glance with the young tiger that had been their waiter earlier.

Bugs was a big tipper and normally an ideal customer. Tonight though he had been the worst sort of customer - the 'runner'. Nothing was cooked or seasoned to his taste, his drink needed constant refilling; as soon as the waiter brought one thing to him, Bugs immediately thought of something else he needed. While the waiter was there Bugs had talked the poor guy's ear off about his weekend of roughing it in the wilderness. When Foghorn had told the waiter that normally the only place Bugs 'roughed it' anywhere was usually at the nearest Hilton and began to fill the harried waiter in on the weekend, the rabbit had finally shut up.

Everyone at the table felt compelled to leave a larger tip than normal for the guy.

Yakko gave a nod to the waiter who grinned back at him. He and Dot owed him one.

They had managed to get out an open rear door with rolls and rolls of toilet paper, going to their chosen victims' vehicles. While he Toonsped around the cars Dot was tossing him the rolls of toilet paper so that both vehicles were thoroughly encased in tissue.

When they were done, laughing and anticipating on what expressions would be on their victims' faces, they had gone back to the rear door only to find it locked. Temporary panic had ensued; staying outside was not an option nor was going in the front door. Going through the front door they would be immediately spotted.

Yakko had been worried for a few moments - he remembered what Bugs said about having a long memory. Dot had wanted to try to slide down the chimney like Santa Claus or hiding.

He wouldn't hide; he was seriously considering if he could get down the chimney.

He had been looking at the dumpster, wondering if he could jump onto it then the balcony and up to the roof when the back door had opened and their waiter had come out, looking for a short smoke break and a breather from Bugs.

Yakko and Dot had looked at the man, shamefaced and worried while his eyes went from them to the one immediately noticeable toilet papered vehicle.

Startled, Yakko had been debating on running, denying or offering the guy a twenty to keep his mouth shut when the waiter had spoken about it being a bit cloudy and how it was no doubt going to rain. He himself loved rain and hoped it poured.

He had then stepped around them, holding the door open.

Relieved, Yakko had grabbed Dot's arm and almost dragged her back inside. They aroused no suspicion when they had arrived back at the table, despite the fact that both of them were out of breath and Dot was still a sticky little ball of fur. Apparently, the acting lessons really had paid off.

Everyone had been in a good mood when they had finally paid the check and departed.

Then…all hell broke loose in the alley.

Rounding the corner and spying his vehicle, Bugs had come to a dead stop, causing Plucky and Mr. Bunny to run into his back and almost sending him sprawling to the ground.

His vehicle looked like something a mummy would drive. Yakko had congratulated himself; he had even wound a large clump of tissue up and around the antenna.

Bugs had screeched, rounded upon the four delighted boys and began demanding to know which one had did it before deciding that all four of them were guilty. Then he demanded to know why they did it - and how. None of them had been out of sight for longer than a few minutes and he knew they couldn't Toonspeed well enough to get that thorough a job done.

Once again, he refused to listen to any protest or denial, even from the other adults.

Yakko looked down at his delighted sister again, deciding they made a pretty good little team. If he ever needed a backup the next time he decided to prank Bugs he'd have to keep her in mind. She had been perfect - not only by helping throw him the rolls, but also by simply staying cool under pressure. She hadn't flinched when going back to the table to deal with the boys' taunts, instead only exchanging a knowing look with Yakko before going back to her cold nuggets without a word.

And she had decided she had another way to get back at Wakko and the other boys - after all there were lots of cars in the lot and no one would ever think she and Yakko would behave this…childishly. Yakko had been leery, but after hearing who her victim was, he had instantly agreed. After all, she was helping him prank his chosen target; he just never realized that she could be so devilish in her planning.

Who knew such a deviously clever mind lurked behind such a cute innocent face?

Not that he wanted to encourage her in behaving badly - he was supposed to be the role model, the adult one. He assuaged any guilt he felt about it by telling her that she just needed to try to think before she did some pranks. Not that she wouldn't; Dot was very much a thinker; maybe not so much as him, but that would come in time.

Every now and then though it was nice to engage in a little fun, and what more fun could there be in pranking the king of pranks with his baby sister? The past month he knew he had been a bit of a downer. The weekend had helped him recover and he felt more like himself. This was like a welcome back to normalcy prank.

Laughing at a comment from Foghorn, Yakko bent down, picking Dot up and balancing her on his hip.

"I'm glad you're back, I missed you," Dot mumbled into his neck.

"It was only a weekend Dot - "

"No, before. You're back to being happy."

_Am I? _

Yakko thought about that momentarily. He supposed he was; he hadn't realized he had been transparent enough in his melancholy that his younger siblings had picked it up. He knew Wakko had to a point; it made sense that Dot would notice as well.

He had played more this weekend than he probably had the last six months. He felt relaxed, rejuvenated, ready to face whatever was ahead of him. He hadn't really had a feeling of being alone and friendless since coming to the studio, but had noticed a deeper bond being developed between himself and the other adults. Even Bugs was beginning to grudgingly view him as an adult. Almost.

"I was always happy," Yakko muttered quietly. "This weekend just made it a little clearer what I have to be happy about." Watching Jeeves try to not laugh overly much at Bugs while trying to shield Max and Plucky from the worst of Bugs' rantings Yakko sighed. "You know I love you right?"

Raising her head, Dot frowned slightly before nodding and saying, "Yeah?" Grabbing his face and pushing herself upwards she added, "You know I love you right?"

"Of course," Yakko replied. "But, if you ever feel like I'm doing something bad, or mean or unfair, tell me OK?"

"I do," Dot said simply, giving a small shrug. "You just don't do it that often."

_Let Wakko hear that._

Yakko had already gotten an earful from Wakko. Normally he didn't put up that much of a fuss about going to a show for Dot; this time he was, though part of his complaint was he wasn't asked. Yakko had shrugged and asked him, getting a no.

He had told Wakko he was going anyway. They went to his recitals and such; he could go to a horse show. Dot wanted her whole family there and on such an important day Yakko wasn't willing to do anything to make her upset or nervous.

Yakko sighed; he was this stubborn at eleven. He hadn't been joking when he told Jeeves that Wakko was going to play hell on his nerves.

"Good to hear," Yakko said. "Just say something if you do feel that way. I saw what happens when the lines of communication get a little crossed. Don't ask," he added when Dot started to open her mouth. "It's their personal business though it's worked out. I just don't want it to happen with us."

Looking confused, Dot nodded before glancing over at the four boys.

"When do you think they'll see?"

Yakko didn't answer; he assumed it would be any minute. Bugs was still storming around in a circle while the manager continued to apologize and the others laughed. But his circle was ever-widening; any minute he would look up -

"Holy…Oh…Oh ho ho…" Bugs whistled before laughing, a slow sarcastic guffaw that echoed through the alley and grabbed everyone's attention. "Oh you four…you did it now."

Mostly confused looks greeted that statement. Yakko tried to wipe most of the smirk off his face while Dot struggled to keep her face in a neutral expression.

"Mine was bad enough, but at least I'm not going to skin the four of you and hang your hides on a fence. Foghorn though…"

When the rabbit went back to laughing, Foghorn started forward towards him.

"What are you on about you silly rabbit…What the - I say - what the hell?"

_Here we go._

With expectations of one hell of a show, Yakko quickly followed the group further up the alley. Dot squirmed in excited anticipation in his arms, already snickering quietly.

Foghorn was standing in the alley, one hand on his head, the other clutching his chest in open mouthed shock.

Yakko choked back a laugh while secretly hoping the rooster didn't have a heart attack. Dot hid her face in his shirt, her little shoulders shaking in barely contained mirth.

The four younger boys seemed to have determined that with Bugs, a thoroughly wrapped car was a delightful sight to behold. With Foghorn however it was deadly.

Foghorn whirled with a dangerous glint in his eyes and the four boys quickly scattered, taking refuge behind one of the other adults that was watching with expressions of amusement.

Bugs was laughing quite loudly at Foghorn and his misfortune.

"What doc?"

"Stop snickering rabbit!" Foghorn demanded angrily. "Look at my - I say - look at my truck!"

"Oh I'm looking…gotta admire those boys and the way the can wrap a car huh?"

"Ha ha rabbit - this is my truck!" He waved dismissively at Bugs' vehicle. "Yours is just a rental." Turning to the four boys he asked archly, "Which one of you is gonna claim it?"

"Oh, I see, now it's a big deal. I mean I think you're just over exaggerating - "

"Over exaggerating? Look at my truck!" Foghorn roared. "When I figure out which one did - "

Dot put her hands over her ears while laughing at the spectacle going on in front of her. Yakko just grinned.

How could he not be happy? He had his family and a group of close friends who no matter how much they argued and fought would instantly be at each other's side at the first sign of trouble.

"Remember; they're just kids…right doc?" Tossing his head back and beginning to cackle again, Bugs added, "Gotta love the little tykes like your own, right Foggy?"

"Go jump in a stew pot rabbit; I gotta figure out which kid to kill first."

"Well Foggy, I think I have every right to decide that - I mean this is my second time." Reaching into his Hammerspace and retrieving his mallet he added, "Of course, you're welcome to help me."

"Delighted…I'm thinking the boy first," Foghorn said lightly, eyeing Wakko. "Knows better than to mess with a man's ride."

"I was thinking Buster…he knows better than to mess with me."

Yakko looked up, catching both Jeeves and Mr. Bunny looking at him knowingly and he shrugged before smirking, half lifting a still grinning Dot at them as Buster quickly scooted behind his father. Yakko held his free arm out for Wakko, who looked unsure of where was the best place to hide from Bugs and Foghorn's wrath.

Plucky and Max quickly went to hide behind Jeeves. Yakko agreed that all four of them had every reason to worry, and he and Dot had every reason to take this secret to their graves.

It was starting to rain.

Yakko started running towards Bugs' car, Dot throwing her head back and laughing as the rain splashed down upon her face. Wakko was running beside him, laughing while still insisting he didn't do anything to the cars.

Down the alley way, Yakko could see Buster and his father leaping puddles as they raced each other to their Jeep.

Jeeves and Max were running towards the vehicle, though Jeeves beat Max simply because the boy paused long enough for Plucky to catch up. He looked annoyed though; Plucky wasn't exactly hurrying.

Bugs, grumbling loudly but looking somewhat amused, was helping Foghorn get a bulk of the soggy paper off his truck.

Things were definitely back to normal. As usual in his life - and in the life of the others he had gotten to know better over the weekend, things were hectic, maddening, as crazy and unpredictable as a hurricane, but he wouldn't change anything.

After all, it took both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow, and his life would be lacking color without his friends.

_~ Fin ~_


End file.

Animaniacs, Drama, Humor