Superwholockvengers Demitreklinzards

**Author's Note:** This is co-written with my lovely friend (and amazing author) Maxine. :-) She therefore gets precisely half of the credit, but she doesn't have a fanfic account so we're posting this here.

Umm... yeah... crossover craziness. You'll pick it up eventually.

Current fandoms; Supernatural, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Avengers, Percy Jackson, Star Trek (reboot), Merlin, Harry Potter. More to come!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own... any of the ridiculous number of fandoms represented here.

Isara Jones is my character, and she has her own stories- see "Isara Jones: Starfleet's Official Hugger."

* * *

**Pairings:** Um. I don't know where to begin here. Here are just a few:

Johnlock friendship, Bones/OC, Percabeth, Doctor/Rose, Doctor/River, Jack Harkness/James Kirk friendship, Kirk/Bones friendship, Harry/Ron/Hermione friendship, Stark/Rogers animosity, Holmes brothers animosity (there's a third one now!).

* * *

**Summary:** The characters from many different universes are thrown together in a variety of fictional settings. At first they don't realize that anything's wrong, but eventually they must work together to get back to their individual homes.

New fandoms will be added regularly! *evil grin*

* * *

**Chapter 1: Hogwarts**

"Hi! I'm John Smith. I just wanted to say that I _love_ your ginger hair. It's so awesome! I've always wanted ginger hair. I tried to dye it once when I was little, but it didn't work. I turned my face pretty orange, though! Is that natural hair, or did you charm it?"

"Er... Natural. Oh, hey, that's Harry Potter! I'm just gonna... go..."

The ginger-haired boy hurriedly side-stepped and ran towards another boy with jet black hair. The boy who had been interrogating him ran a hand through his spiky, messy brown hair and wandered over to a surly-looking first-year.

"Hi! I'm John Smith. I just wanted to say that..."

"Do you know that girl over there? The one with the black hair?"

"Eh? No, I don't."

"Oh, well, I was thinking I'd go talk to her. She seems... really nice. See you around!"

"Alright, I guess." He wandered off, in pursuit of someone to talk to. He spotted a blonde girl, sitting all alone, and walked over to her.

"Hi! I'm John Smith, but you can call me the Doctor," switching his conversation tactic.

"I'm Rose Tyler. Why do people call you the Doctor?"

"I dunno. They just do. And I do too. Still not sure why. Run for your life!"

She looked startled. "What? Why?"

"Because that guy over there is looking at you... strangely." He indicated a young man with blonde hair and intense blue eyes.

"Oh." The girl laughed and turned to look at the boy, who winked flirtatiously. She turned back to face the Doctor. "Are you always this dramatic?"

"Only when it's fun. Which happens to be all of the time." He grinned.

A tall boy in a long coat walked up to them. He beamed at Rose and said, "Hi."

"Oh, don't you start," said the Doctor.

"What? I'm only saying hi!"

"Sorry, Rose. This is my friend Jack, he lives in my town."

Rose smiled shyly at the newcomer, who winked. The Doctor bristled.

"Now you're acting like that blond jerk over there!" He nodded his head at the boy, who was now deep in conversation with the surly boy that the Doctor had talked to earlier.

"Jim Kirk? Don't mind him, he's worse than I am."

Before the conversation could continue, the door to the Great Hall opened and a tall man with thinning hair poked his head through.

"Please line up in an orderly fashion. In a moment you will be brought through these doors and sorted into your houses. Your names will be called in alphabetical order, so be ready." He paused for a moment to glance around the crowd, then added, "Hello boys. Having fun?"

Two boys (clearly twins) with pale skin and black hair groaned. A blond boy leaned over to one of them and whispered, "Who's he?"

The boy sighed. "He's my stupid big brother, Mycroft."

"Oh." The blond boy nodded. "Is he a teacher here?"

"Charms, unfortunately." The other twin glared at the now-smirking Professor Holmes, but was prevented from saying more by the doors swinging open all the way and a gesture beckoning the group inside.

Like every group of first-years, they immediately forgot any quibbles they may have formed in the last few hours and bunched together nervously when they saw the impressive splendor of the Great Hall. The floating candles cast a flickering light over the now-pale faces of the young students.

A bent old man with long white hair stood at the front of the enormous room holding an ancient pointed hat, which he set on a stool. He called out to the students, "When your name is called, please walk up to the front here. You will sit on the stool and place the Sorting Hat on your head, and, after some deliberation, it will call out your house. First is Irene Adler."

A girl with carefully styled hair and cunning features stepped up to the stool. She glanced back at the first years, a little nervously, but winked at one of the Holmes twins and put the hat on her head (careful not to mess up her hair).

After a few seconds, the hat shouted, "Slytherin!" and the girl skipped over to a green table.

"Merlin Ambrosius!" A gangly boy with dark hair and a permanently confused expression stumbled forward. He almost missed the stool as he sat down, but was quickly pronounced "Hufflepuff!" almost as soon as the hat was safely situated on his head.

"Luke Castillan" wore a crafty expression to match that of Irene Adler, and was also named a Slytherin.

At the call of "Annabeth Chase," a girl with curly blonde hair stepped forward. She glanced nervously to the Slytherin table, where Luke sat, and then back at another boy who had wavy black hair. He grinned and gave her two thumbs up. She was quickly declared a Ravenclaw.

"Morgana leFay" could have been Irene Adler's sister. They had the same mischievous look and perfect dark hair. She was also pronounced a Slytherin.

After a brown-haired girl named Hermione Granger was declared a Gryffindor, Jack Harkness was called. He grinned and winked at the Doctor and Rose and catwalked forward. The instant the hat touched his head, it screamed "Gryffindor!" and he leaped away, grinning.

"Khaaaaan... Where's the last name... Oh, Holmes."

One of the pale twins rolled his eyes and strode forward to the platform. As he sat down he made a face at Professor Holmes and stuffed the hat on his head. The hat laughed and said, "Oh my, _definitely_ a Ravenclaw."

After Khan left the stage, the other twin, Sherlock, was called up. He smiled at the blond boy and walked to the hat, sticking his tongue out at Professor Holmes. "Oh, another Ravenclaw!" the hat said. Sherlock muttered, "Well _obviously_," under his breath as he walked to the blue table.

The boy who had encouraged Annabeth was revealed to be named Percy Jackson. He was quickly declared a Gryffindor. He looked a little disappointed that he wasn't at Annabeth's table, stealing a glance at her as he walked to the red table.

The girl that the surly boy had been observing before the sorting was called up as "Isara Jones." She held her head high and walked steadily up to the front, though her hands were clenched tightly at her sides. As she sat down on the stool, the Doctor saw Kirk wink at her the same way that he had winked at Rose earlier. He was quickly elbowed into silence by the surly boy, who was anxiously awaiting the Sorting Hat's call. Finally, she was announced as a Ravenclaw.

"James Kirk" was called next, and he barely seemed to move before he was sitting on the stool, jamming the hat down over his ears. With one last wink at no one in particular, he settled down to wait for the call. It came rapidly- "Gryffindor!"

After he walked to his table, grinning and winking at random people, a black-haired boy named Abraham Loki and an extremely blond, slimy looking boy name Draco Malfoy were sorted into Slytherin.

Then the surly boy was called. His name turned out to be Leonard McCoy. Cautiously, he set the hat on his head. It said, "Hufflepuff!" and his face fell. He looked between James Kirk and Isara Jones, both in different houses from him, and slowly trudged over to the Hufflepuff table.

A very cheerful boy named James Moriarty was called next. He strutted up to the platform, pulling a small piece of gum out of one of his pockets and popping it into his mouth. He chewed loudly and grinned obnoxiously in the direction of the Holmes twins before being hurriedly declared "Slytherin!"

After him, a burly boy with blond hair named Arthur Pendragon was called. He strutted to the stool, glaring at everyone condescendingly like he was the king of the school. Regally, he set the hat on his head and was quickly declared a Gryffindor.

The boy with black hair that had been the ginger boy's escape opportunity earlier was confirmed to be Harry Potter. He looked shy as he wandered up to the front of the room among whispers and furtive glances. It took a long time for the hat to sort him, and he squeezed his eyes shut and muttered something to himself over and over while he waited. When the hat finally yelled "Gryffindor," the entire table stood up and cheered, including Hermione, Jack, Percy, Kirk, and Arthur.

Next, a boy with a smile that seemed a little too perfect named Tom Riddle was called. He walked to the stool, confidently, and was almost instantly declared a Slytherin.

A boy named Harold Saxon was called next. He held out his hands as if saying, _No applause!_ and grinned like he was famous, even though there was no applause. He was quickly sorted into Slytherin, where he sat down next to Tom Riddle and started flirting with Irene Adler.

"John Smith!" was the next ringing call, and the boy ran his fingers through his tousled hair one more time before ambling up to sit on the stool. He smiled reassuringly at Rose, then pulled the hat onto his head. He took almost as long to sort as Harry Potter, but he was also eventually placed in Gryffindor.

"River Song" strode confidently up to the front, her wild, curly blonde hair bouncing with every step. She sat delicately on the stool and crossed her legs as though getting comfortable for a long wait, and looked almost surprised when it took only a few seconds for her to be put in Slytherin.

Rose Tyler nervously walked to the stool and grinned at John Smith and Jack Harkness as she put the hat on. She was quickly sorted into Hufflepuff. She smiled and walked over to the yellow table. Both the Doctor and Jack looked crestfallen that she wasn't in their house.

The blond boy who had been talking to Sherlock Holmes earlier was called next. His name was John Watson. He stuffed the hat on his head, grinning goofily at Sherlock, but was quickly declared a Hufflepuff. He looked shocked.

"But, I wanted to be at Sherlock's table..." he said before Professor Gaius, who had been running the sorting, shooed him to the Hufflepuff table. He sat down, dejected.

Finally, the ginger boy the Doctor had talked to first, named Ronald Weasley, was called. "Another Weasley, eh?" the hat said, before calling out "Gryffindor!" He grinned and ran to the table, where Harry and three other ginger boys patted him on the back.

As soon as he arrived at the Gryffindor table, excited conversation broke out. Harry was congratulating him on being in the house that he had wanted. The Doctor and Jack Harkness were amusing Rose from across the hall by making faces and giving the Head Boy bunny ears. After a while they lost interest and got into a discussion about a new and (ideally) top secret branch of the Ministry of Magic called the Time Agency. Jim Kirk was attempting to flirt with Hermione, who was chatting with Nearly-Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost. Percy and Arthur were discussing fencing techniques.

Meanwhile, the Hufflepuff first-years were distracted. Rose was disappointed when the Doctor and Jack stopped trying to make her laugh, and made a good effort at engaging Leonard in conversation. This was hard, as he was busy sulking and watching Kirk and Isara. John was in a similar place, so she ended up talking to Merlin. He was interesting enough, if a little awkward.

The Slytherins were getting along brilliantly. Irene, Morgana, and River were all chatting up a storm - about the woes of being popular. Abraham was trying to convince Harold Saxon that he just called himself 'Loki', but Harold kept laughing at him and telling him Abe was a cool name. Luke and Draco Malfoy were laughed together as Tom Riddle and Jim Moriarty argued with each other about whether it was more fun to kill your enemies yourself (Tom's opinion) or have them kill themselves (Jim's view).

The Ravenclaw table was fairly reserved. The Holmes boys were content to eat in silence, except to interject the occasional "Wrong!" into someone's argument. Isara and Annabeth had formed a tentative friendship, and were discussing their friends at the Gryffindor table.

"I don't actually know Kirk that well. I just got stuck in the same train car as him and Bones on the Hogwarts Express."

"Bones?"

"Apparently that's Kirk's nickname for him- I'm not sure why. What about Percy and that Slytherin, Luke?"

"They're both pretty nice. I just met Percy, on the train, but I've known Luke for a while. We went to school together. He's more like a big brother than a friend," she grinned.

"That's really cool! I'm not really close to anyone here, my mum was a Muggle so I didn't know very many wizards when I was little." There was a companionable pause, and then she added, "I'm glad to be in Ravenclaw. What about you?"

"Very." Annabeth smiled a little sadly. "My mom used to teach here- she was head of Ravenclaw House. But she was killed by You-Know-Who."

"I'm sorry," Isara hugged her, stopping when Annabeth made a startled noise. "Sorry. Impulsive."

All conversation was interrupted when Headmaster Fury stepped up to the platform. "Welcome, everyone, to Hogwarts!" The sound in the hall slowly died as he looked around at all of the tables. "Especially to all of our first-years, a really big MOOOOOO welcome."

Several people laughed, though Fury remained stoic. "It's a charm that they always put on him before he addresses students," Hermione muttered to Kirk. "I read all about this! He actually swears so much that they have to charm it to sound like animal noises."

Fury continued, "Just a reminder to stay out of the OINK OINK Forbidden Forest, unless you're a QUACK idiot. It has "forbidden" in the name, for NEIIGHH sake! And yes, I'm looking at you, Weasleys." Everyone turned to look at Ron's twin older brothers, who were shaking with silent laughter while trying to look serious. At the front of the hall, a few of the teachers rolled their eyes while a few others chuckled. One professor, Professor Castiel, was focused intently on a small plant he was growing in his goblet.

"And now, a few words. WOOOF CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK MEOOOOW ROOOOAR HISSS, and, finally, RIBBIT." Everyone, even the students who had looked utterly confused before, was laughing now.

"Here's to a great year!" Headmaster Fury concluded. The students gave him a standing ovation, then returned to their meals.

Soon after, all of them were sound asleep, stomachs full, smiling after the exciting day.


End file.
