Animaniacs 1. Chapter 1: Goin' Downtown

This is my very first fanfiction, so I hope you don't criticize it too harshly. Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 1 - Goin' Downtown**

It was a beautiful morning in Burbank, California. In a forest just outside of Warner Bros. studios, we see the home of Minerva Mink, one of the most lovely creatures in all of the world; she has long blond hair, white fur that covers all of her body and a tail the same color of her hair. She is so sexy that any guy who sees her will instantly falls head-over-heels in love at the site of her (especially if they have girlfriends already). She was sleeping in her bed until the alarm clock next to her started to ring, telling her to start her day...

"Yaaaawwwn... Gosh, it sure is a lovely day, about as lovely as I am. I wonder what today is..."

After putting on a bathrobe, she went up to her day-by-day calender and saw that today was December 24: Christmas Eve.

"Oh, my stars! Today is Christmas Eve, and I haven't even done my Christmas shopping yet! I'd better hurry before my friends arrive tomorrow!"

Minerva then headed to her shower to get herself cleaned. As she was doing so, she began to sing to herself...

"It's not pretty being me... Try it and you'll see... It's harder than you think being a gorgeous mink... La la la dee dee da da da... It's not pretty being me..."

Just outside of Minerva's home, we see a familiar looking character sneaking around. It is Newt, a gray dachshund with black ears and a red nose; he is after Minerva Mink to prove to his master that he is an excellent hunting dog. Ever since they first met, Newt has been constantly after Minerva, but because of her hot looks and sweet charm, he ends up hurting himself.

"So, my little mink... I hope you're ready for class, because today is Mink Catching 101!"

Minerva then got out of the shower and went back to her bedroom to find something to wear.

"Well, since it's the holiday season, I think I'll wear something more appropriate..."

And so, she decided to wear a long-sleeved dress with red and green stripes. Meanwhile, Newt decided to hid beside Minerva's front door and grab her with a big fishing net.

"As soon as that mink steps outside of her home, I'll nab her with this net! Newt, you are a genius, I tell ya!"

But, unbeknownst to Newt, he was actually standing on the wrong side of the door. For at that moment, Minerva opened the door and right when Newt was ready to swing his net...

BASH!!!

The door smacks him in the face so hard, it knocks him out cold. Shortly afterward, Minerva stopped briefly in her tracks.

"What was that? I was sure I heard something go 'bash'... Oh, well. I need to head out to the Mega Mall downtown if I'm going to buy the gifts I need."

When she took off, Newt was coming to after being knocked out.

"Well, that was unexpected... Huh? Now where did that mink go to?"

Minerva kept on walking until she made it to the highway. Newt was not too far behind, and he quickly ran behind bushes and trees as he crept closer without being seen by her. Minerva saw a taxicab come by, and decided to signal it.

"Oh, taxi!"

But the taxicab just drove off past her... Or so it seemed, because a few seconds later, it came to a screeching halt and backed up beside her. The driver then opened the door for her.

"So where to, toots?"

"Just to the Mega Mall downtown, please."

"For lovely ladies like you, anything!"

Just then, at that moment, Newt quickly leaped out of the bush he was hiding and held the net tightly as he pounced high in the air.

"Oh no you don't, my minkly adversary!"

But he was too late; just as soon as the door slammed, the taxicab sped off downtown. And as a result, he ended up landing face-first on the asphalt road.

"Again, that was unexpected... How can things get any worse?"

Suddenly, he heard a loud semi truck honking from behind...

SMASH!!!

"I had to ask..."

Newt then picked himself off the road after being flattened by that huge semi.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Chapter 2: Newt Hitches A Ride

If you thought the first chapter was good, then I'm sure you'll enjoy this one as well. Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 2 - Newt Hitches A Ride**

The taxicab that Minerva Mink rode in had stopped in front of the Mega Mall shortly after she was taken to downtown Burbank. The Mega Mall was a really huge 12-story shopping mall that had a huge assortment of shops that sold just about anything a person can buy, as well as an excellent variety of restaurants for people to eat at. Minerva then got out after arriving to her destination.

"How much do I own you for the ride?"

"Well, the fare is $21.79; but for a sexy gal like you, this ride's on me."

"Oh, gee... That's really thoughtful of someone like you."

The driver then decided to give Minerva a kiss, but she shut the door almost in his face before walking away. As soon as she headed to the entrance of the Mega Mall, a lot of guys who were walking outside took one look at Minerva and immediately fell head-over-heels in love at the sight of her. Talking to herself, Minerva replied...

"I get this from guys all the time every place I go to."

Newt, who has healed after being run over by a semi truck, was standing on the side of the highway thinking to himself...

"So, the mink has headed to the Mega Mall downtown, has she? Then that's where I'll go if plan to capture her. But the question is: how? It would take a long time for me to arrive on foot, and she'll probably be gone by the time I get there. Hmmmm..."

Then, Newt got an idea: he'll just have to hitchhike. He pulled out a glove and inflated it before putting it on to make his hand appear bigger while signaling. Meanwhile, a pick-up truck carrying a herd of pigs is seen driving down the highway. The truck slows down when the driver notices Newt. The door opens and Newt saw that the driver was a hillbilly yokel with a bad haircut, a really big Adam's apple, and he had some teeth missing; he was also wearing a filthy t-shirt and a cap that reads "Born To Be Stupid".

"So, uuuhh... Where do ya want ta go, mac?"

"To the Mega Mall, located downtown, please."

"Duuuhh... What's a Mega Mall?"

"It's a really huge place where people got to shop for all kinds of stuff; I need to go there because I have to, uh, take care of some kind of business over there."

"Well, okie-dokie, then. But, uuuhh... You'll have ta tell me where this here Mega Mall is, 'cause I never gone to the city that much before."

"Oh, brother... Very well. Just keep on driving the direction you were going when you first saw me, and I'll tell you where to find it when we get there."

"No problem, mac. I'm sure ya can trust me by the time we get there."

Newt hops into the truck, which then drives off and heads downtown. A moment after Newt got himself comfortable, he started to smell something; it was a foul stench that smelled so bad that it practically made his eyes water, almost like tear gas.

"Aw, geez! What in the world is that despicable odor??"

"Huh? Oh, I'm a pig farmer. I was busy deliverin' these pigs to the meat market so's they can be sold durin' the holiday season."

"Well, whatever that stench is, I don't think I can stand it anymore..."

The driver then smelled one of his armpits.

"Come ta think of it, I forgot that this was the day of the week I was supposed to take my bath, but I just plumb forgot 'cause I was so busy."

"Sigh... NOW he tells me..."

A couple of minutes later, Newt was feeling kinda bored.

"Excuse me, sir, but can you, by any chance, turn on the radio so I can listen to some music?"

"Sorry, mac, but I don't have a radio in my truck; but if ya's want ta listen ta some music, I can sing for ya. Howzat?"

"Uh, that probably won't be necessary... Something made me change my mind."

"Well, I'm gonna sing anyways; I've been bored ever since I began drivin' this here truck this morning."

And so, the driver then cleared his throat and began yodeling a scratchy, out-of-tune version of some familiar disco song from the 1970's. While hearing him sing, Newt started grinding his teeth and immediately put his paws over his ears. Never had he heard someone sing with such a scratchy and messed-up voice, especially when singing a song he probably never really heard before on a radio before. He then grumbled to himself...

"I just hope we make it there soon... Very, VERY soon..."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 3: At The Mega Mall

Minerva had arrived at the Mega Mall in the last chapter, so now it's time to see if Newt made it as well. Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters (including Newt) created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 3 - At The Mega Mall**

Newt had finally arrived at the Mega Mall in the pick-up truck that took him to downtown Burbank. The truck had stopped in front of the entrance, and the driver spoke to him...

"Well, uuuhh... Here ya are, mac. Have a nice day now, ya hear?"

But Newt didn't really say anything to him; he just got out of the truck and shut the door. After the truck drove off, he then said aloud to himself...

"Pheeew! That is the last, and I mean LAST, time I ever hitch a ride from somebody who drives with pigs all day! It was even worse than being in a fertilizer factory run by howler monkeys!"

A moment after he calmed down, Newt then headed for the entrance of the Mega Mall. Once he stepped inside, he saw just how huge the place really was compared to how it looked inside. There were a bunch of elevators that took people to any of the twelve floors, escalators that carried people upwards and downwards, and each floor had a different theme with similar types of stores and restaurants.

"Wow... This place is incredibly huge! But how am I gonna find the mink in a place like this?"

It wasn't really difficult to find Minerva, despite how big of a place the Mega Mall is; Newt noticed that everybody on the fourth floor was eyeing somebody walking by. He pulled out a pair of binoculars and viewed into them. Sure enough, he saw that it was Minerva Mink.

"Aha! It IS her! Looks like I know where I'm heading off to now..."

But as soon as Newt took off, he didn't see where he was going (he was still looking up at the fourth floor, where Minerva was) and he bumped into somebody. After shaking himself off, Newt saw that he bumped into a security guard who was walking around, keeping an eye out for any trouble; the security guard was a handsome-looking German Shepherd.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm okay. I should have paid more attention to where I was going."

"That's good. You see, this is my first year on the job, and it's my duty to make sure that there are no trouble-makers hanging around here, especially on Christmas Eve."

"Don't worry about a thing, sir. I'm not here to cause any trouble of any kind; I'm just here to, uh, shop, that's it."

"Well, okay then. I guess I'll probably see you around."

The security guard then walked away. Newt continued to pursue Minerva. He decided to take an elevator up to the fourth floor, so he pressed the elevator button and waited for it to come down; but when the elevator doors had opened, a big crowd of people came out and almost trampled him. When the doors were about to close, Newt quickly squeezed his body into it in the nick of time. As soon as he made it, he started to walk faster, hoping he hasn't lost her. Luckily for him, about 90 feet away, he found Minerva.

"There she is...and here I come!"

Newt then pulled out the fishing net he had earlier with him to catch Minerva, and began to move faster. Meanwhile, in a sporting goods store known as "The Sports Shop" (which Minerva is going to pass by, as well as Newt), a guy was trying out at fishing pole for himself. He started to cast with it when all of a sudden, the hook at the end of the line went sailing to the back area of the store and snagged onto a ten-pound bowling ball. The guy pulled so hard on the line that the bowling ball went flying and sailed right through the store's display window...

CRASH!!!

Newt was now nearly ten feet of Minerva when this happened. He was ready to swing his net at her when all of a sudden...

SMACK!!!

The bowling ball that crashed through the window had smacked Newt really hard in the face. It hit him so hard that he was really dizzy, and he was walking around until he made it to the escalator going down; afterward, he fell face down on the floor. He remained unconscious until he heard a voice...

"Are you okay?"

Newt woke up, and saw the security guard next to him.

"What happened to you?"

"I don't know... All I remember was that I was walking until I saw something black hit me in the face..."

"That must have been the bowling ball that people had told me crashed through a window in one of the stores. Oh, well... At least you're okay."

The security guard walked away again, and Newt decided to go back up to the fourth floor, hoping to find Minerva there again...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 4: Minerva Orders Lunch

It seems that the story has been focusing more on Newt than Minerva, but don't you worry; she plays a role in this chapter after a brief absence. Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters (including Newt) created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 4 - Minerva Orders Lunch**

After being knocked out by a bowling ball, Newt headed back up to the fourth floor on the escalator going up. He then spoke to himself...

"I don't really know where that mink headed off to after that accident I got into, but I'm desperate enough to find her."

While he was almost there, he was starting to notice a lot of guys looking at one of the mall's elevators...

"What is going on here? Why is everyone staring at the elevators for?"

Newt turned his head and realized what was going on: Minerva Mink was on an elevator heading down to the first floor of the Mega Mall.

"What the...?! If she's heading down to the first floor, then that's where I'm going, too!"

He quickly ran up the escalator and headed to an empty elevator. When he was inside it, he repeatedly pressed the button for it to go down to the first floor. Minerva was already at the first floor by the time the elevator Newt was in went down.

"All of this shopping has been making me hungry. I'm ready to get something to eat."

She decided to get something at a sandwich shop called "Sandwich Sal's", which is a place that sold all kinds of sandwiches for people to eat.

"I'd like an all veggie sandwich topped with Swiss cheese and lite mayo, and I'd like a diet cola with it; after all, a girl has to watch her figure."

"Uh, sure thing, ma'am."

The person behind the counter went to get Minerva's meal. After doing so, he rung up the amount she owed.

"That will be $6.59, please."

Minerva looked into her purse, and saw that all she had were mostly twenty-dollar bills (enough to get her friends the gifts she needed).

"Can you be a dear and break a twenty for me?"

"Uh, sure. I can do that for you."

He took the twenty-dollar bill she gave him, and gave her the change.

"Enjoy your meal, ma'am."

"I'm sure I will."

Right after Minerva found a place to sit down and eat her meal, Newt spotted her.

"Little mink, you are mine!"

Newt was ready to swing his net from behind her. At that moment, a guy was trying to squeeze some hot sauce out of a bottle so he can get some on his sandwich. He began squeezing the bottle so hard that a huge blob of hot sauce went sailing through the air, all the way to where Newt was standing. It landed into his mouth, and as soon as it touched his taste buds, his face turned bright red and he began to sputter...

"Hot, hot, hot, hot, HHHHOOOOOTTTTTT!!!"

Minerva heard him shout, but she decided not to worry about and continued eating. Newt dropped his net, and ran around searching for a way to put out the spicy taste in his mouth. He kept on running until he found a water fountain located in the center of the Mega Mall. He dove in and quickly gulped down as much water as he can. Afterward, he felt a little better, and he heard a voice say to him...

"What are you doing?"

Newt turned his head and saw the security guard again.

"Me? I, uh, fell in, that's all."

"You need to be careful; you might have drowned if you stayed in there too long."

The security guard walked away again, and Newt got out of the fountain. He decided to sit down on a nearby bench and he spoke to himself out loud...

"Dang it! I almost caught her! I really did! I don't see why it's becoming so difficult to just capture one insignificant little mink! This is becoming my worse day ever! I really, REALLY want it to end, but I don't want to give up until I've finally caught her!"

An old woman was sitting next to Newt as he was talking out loud.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing... I wasn't talking to anyone... I mean... I'm gonna leave now..."

He then took off, feeling a little embarrassed for what he was doing.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Chapter 5: A Shocking Surprise

Luckily for Newt, he never really got himself hurt in the last chapter; but that's probably going to change in THIS chapter... Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters (including Newt) created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 5 - A "Shocking" Surprise**

Newt quickly headed back to the area where Minerva was having lunch, hoping that she hasn't left yet. He was even running as fast as he could on his own hind legs while panting really hard...

"Got to hurry... Must make sure she doesn't leave..."

But he was too late; by the time he got there, Minerva had already finished her meal and left to continue her shopping. Newt picked up the fishing net he dropped after getting a mouthful of hot sauce (by accident, of course).

"Ah, dang it! She already left! I knew I should have swung my net without even hesitating!"

Luckily for him, she wasn't too far away because at that moment, he saw her get into an elevator on the first floor. Almost immediately, Newt headed right for the elevator at full speed ahead.

"Feet, don't fail me now!"

But by the time he made it, the elevator door had shut and Newt went heading right into it...

WHAM!!!

Newt became briefly dizzy from the impact. Right when he was coming to, he saw where the elevator Minerva was in had stopped: at the fifth floor. Then, Newt figured to himself...

"Well, I refuse to wait for an elevator to come back down, and then take me up... I'll just take the escalators!"

And so, he decided to run up the escalators without having to wait for an elevator. He was running as fast as could while pushing people out of his way to get to the fifth floor. One floor after another, he quickly ran up each escalator that was moving up. He managed to make it to his destination in the nick time; he saw Minerva walk into an invention store called "Gadgets R US".

"This might be the perfect place to find something here."

Newt followed after her into the place, which was filled with all kinds of weird and unusual inventions, mostly electronic. Newt wanted to capture Minerva without being seen by her, so he tried to maintain distance from her. He tried to think of a way how to get her without even getting close to her. And then, he saw something that caught his attention...

"Hello... What's this thing?"

He found an extendable claw used for grabbing objects that were completely out of reach. He put the net he had with him away in traditional cartoon style, and decided to try it out.

"Let's see what this baby can do..."

He used it grab onto a calculator that was 30 feet away from him in the store. He was really satisified with it.

"Perfecto! This is just what I needed to catch that mink off-guard!"

Meanwhile, there was a little boy who was in the store with his mother. When his mother kept her eyes off him, he found a machine that produced static electricity. He playfully fiddled with all of the buttons and knobs on the machine. Unknown to the boy, he turned the machine on and turned it up at full power, producing enough static electricity to stun even an electric eel. The boy was about to touch the machine, but his mother pulled him away before it even happened. Newt was ready to use the claw as soon as he saw Minerva standing still, looking at one of the shelves in the store.

"This is it! Ready to be caught, my lovely little mink?"

Minerva then said to herself...

"I don't see anything here that's a suitable gift... I might as well leave."

At that moment, Minerva walked away right when Newt used the extendable claw. The claw missed her, but it kept on going until it touched the static electricity machine the little boy fiddled with. As soon as it did...

ZZZZZZAAAAPPP!!!

Newt got electroculted very badly. Just as Minerva was out of the store, Newt went flying back from the shock, all black and burnt. He then said to himself...

"I'm feeling a little hot under the collar right now..."

Just then, the security guard came up to Newt.

"What's going on here? I thought I smelled something burning."

"That would have to be me; I, uh, kinda touched something that shocked me unexpectedly..."

"Are you alright? Maybe I can get you a first-aid kit..."

"No, no... Don't worry about me; I'll be okay for now."

"Well, alrighty then. If there's any problems going on, be sure to let me know."

And so, the security guard walked off again. Newt slowly walked up to a decorative palm tree on the floor he's on and rested beside it; he then began to talk to himself aloud...

"I don't know if I can take much more of this... I think I'm beginning to lose my mind each time I fail to capture the mink! Will there even be a moment where she will be mine?? If so, then I can get back home and end this stupid hunt once and for all! My master will then think I'm the best hunting dog in the entire world; he'll treat me like a king so much that I can finally retire from this stupid, STUPID profession! But that's not the only good part; once she is finally mine, I'll never, ever, EVER have to deal with a gorgeous mink like her ever, EVER again!"

Newt then began to cackle hysterically to himself, and a lot of people walking took one look at him and walked away, thinking he's crazy.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. Chapter 6: Perfume & Pranks

It seems that Newt has begun to lose his mind after failing to capture Minerva for the umpteenth time already, huh? Well, he'll just have to get used to it as the rest of the story continues... Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters (including Newt) created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 6 - Perfume & Pranks**

Minerva Mink had been shopping in the Mega Mall for more than half a day already. As she was walking and carrying bags full of the stuff she bought, she decided to sit down at a nearby bench to catch her breath. And she spoke to herself...

"This Christmas shopping can sure take a lot out of a gal like me. Now let's see... What have a gotten so far?"

She looked into her bags in case there was something he hasn't bought yet.

"Well, let's see... I only need to buy one or two more things, and then I'll head back home."

Minerva then got up after sitting down for a few minutes and continued her shopping. Newt was not too far behind; he was following after her from a couple of stores away. He was still holding onto the retractable claw that found at "Gadgets R Us" (he also managed to buy it, so that he can use it outside of the store). As he was getting closer to her, he quickly hid beside the entrance to a perfume shop called "Sweetly Scents". He spoke to himself as he did...

"Luckily for me, this baby didn't get damaged from my unfortunate accident. Now that THAT'S out of the way, I'll finally be able to put it to good use."

When he was ready to use the claw on Minerva, a woman working at the store walked up to Newt from behind and said to him...

"Excuse me, sir. Would you care to try out one of our latest fragrances, courtesy of Sweetly Scents?"

As soon as Newt turned his head, the woman sprayed some perfume...right into his eyes. He began to howl in pain.

"Oh, I am so sorry about that! I did not mean to spray you there!"

Newt then walked away, rubbing his eyes so much that tears began streaming down his face. Unfortunately, he didn't see where was going as he tripped onto a toy that some kid dropped on the middle of the floor; he fell down the escalator that was moving the opposite direction, and he was shouting as he fell...

"Whoa! Ouch! Oh! Aah! Eee! Owie-wow! Ouch! Oh! Aah! Eee! Owie-wow! Ouch! Oh! Aah! Eee! Owie-wow!"

He was actually falling in place as this was happening (since that's usually what happens when somebody tries to go down an escalator moving up). This kept on going until someone grabbed Newt and pulled him back up to the fifth floor...

"What happened this time? Are you hurt?"

Newt shook his head and saw who it was that pulled him up: it was the security guard, who came once he saw Newt's calamity.

"That's really dangerous what you were just doing, you know. I once stopped a bunch of teenagers that tried to do that, and they haven't done it since. Now, promise me you won't do it again, okay?"

When Newt was about to respond, he saw Minerva in an elevator heading up to the twelfth floor.

"Uh, sure, whatever. Gotta go!"

Newt took running into an open elevator that was full of people who was in it before him. He pressed the button in the elevator that would take him up to the twelfth floor and waited until he arrived. As soon as he stepped out, he began looking for Minerva. He kept on searching until he saw her looking inside a novelty shop called "Pranks 'N Presents". And sure enough, he walked into the store and found her looking at a shelf full of practical joke items that were about 30 feet away from the entrance. Before he was about to do anything, a guy dressed up like a clown came up to him and said...

"Good afternoon there, sir! Can I interest you in some really great practical jokes you can play on your friends and family this holiday season?"

"Actually, I just want to-"

The clown-guy held his hand out for Newt to shake, so he did; but as he did so...

BZZZZTTT!!!

He felt a surprising shock that buzzed in his hand. The guy remarked...

"It's our ever popular item: the Joy Shocker, which is an instant classic for anybody!"

"That's nice, but all I want is-"

The clown-guy then handed him a can of peanut brittle.

"Care for some peanut brittle?"

Newt half-heartedly opened the can when suddenly, a bunch of spring-loaded snakes popped out, surprising him.

"So what do you think? The old Snake-In-A-Can gag will surely appeal to anybody, young or old!"

"Can I just-"

"Smell my flower. Go ahead, it won't bite..."

Newt probably knew what was going to happen, so he pretended to smell it and he ended up getting squirt in the face with water.

"It's the classic Squirting Flower gag! It's an oldie, but a goodie!"

Newt was starting to get annoyed with the clown-guy, and he almost raised his voice as he spoke to him...

"Listen... I didn't come all this way up to the twelfth floor of a shopping mall so that I can be treated to a bunch of pranks given to me by some clown; I just came in here to find somebody who's in here as well! Is that so hard to ask??"

"One more joke, I promise..."

He handed him a piece of gum. Newt saw it, and lightly smiled to himself, because he figured out what the gum was.

"Oh, I see... This is that kind of gum and turns your mouth blue when you chew it, right?"

He put the gum in his mouth and began to chew it. But the clown-guy then said...

"Actually, no; it's a type of gum that tastes really hot after you chew it for a bit."

And sure enough, when Newt was chewing the gum, he began to feel the very hot taste in his mouth; almost a lot like the hot sauce that landed in his mouth not too long ago. He ran out of the store wheezing, and ended up jumping off the guard rail and began falling toward the fountain in the center of the mall. As he was falling, he said to himself miserably...

"I know for sure that this has not been my day today!"

He landed right into the fountain...

SPLASH!!!

But because it was shallow, he also ended up getting hurt from the impact. A moment after he landed, Newt came to his senses...and was he mad!

"That does it! I am tired of going through this schtick I've had to deal with all day! I'll get that mink, even if it's the last thing I'll ever do by the end of the day! Because THIS time, no...more...Mister...Nice...Dachshund!"

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	7. Chapter 7: Newt's Last Stand

Newt hasn't really been that fortunate throughout this story, has he? Well, his luck might be able to change this time... Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters (including Newt) created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 7 - Newt's Last Stand**

Newt got out of the fountain after falling into it from twelve stories. He was in pain, but he didn't care; he was so angry that he was really determined to get Minerva Mink once and for all. He said to himself...

"I am getting really sick and tired of going after the mink without getting myself badly hurt! I'm just going to do something I should have done hours ago ever since I got here!"

He went to get a big sack, which he took from a Santa Claus on the first floor; it was basically a prop used as a decoration where the Santa sat, and it was filled with prop presents that Newt dumped out. Luckily for him, nobody even noticed what he just did. He then looked up at the elevators, waiting for Minerva to go down one of them.

"As soon as that mink comes back down to the first floor as she's ready to leave, I'll jump her using this sack and run out of this barbaric place and head back to home, sweet home!"

Meanwhile, back at the twelfth floor, Minerva had bought the last couple of things she found at "Pranks 'N Presents". And she said to herself...

"I guess I've got everything I needed right now. It's time for me to head back home."

She walked out of the store, carried her bags, and headed to one of the elevators; however, the elevator she was about to get into was full of guys whose tongues hung from their mouths at the sight of her.

"I think I'll take the next one..."

And so, Minerva decided to get into another elevator, one without so many guys looking at her when she's in it. She pressed the button to go back down to the first floor. Unbeknowst to her, Newt kept his eyes on Minerva as she was in the elevator going down (since elevators at most malls have see-through walls to them). Then, Newt began to think to himself...

"I don't want to make any mistake by doing this quickly, so I'll just wait until I see her step out of the elevator."

He hid beside the door to the elevator and stood flat against the wall, hoping that nothing bad will happen to him. Minerva was still in the elevator, humming to herself until she arrived to her destination. A few seconds after she stepped out of the elevator, she heard someone shout...

"Gotcha!"

Before she even reacted, she felt a sack getting thrown onto her. Newt had pounced on her with the sack and sealed her inside it. After doing so, he shouted triumphantly to himself...

"Ha ha! I've finally done it! I, Newt, have finally captured the blasted mink! Wait until my master sees what I've done!"

Without doing anything else, Newt picked up the sack Minerva was in and carried it the best he could. Inside the sack, Minerva can be heard squealing...

"Help me! Somebody help me! It's a mink-napper on the prowl, and he's got me! Heeellllp!"

At that moment, the security guard (who's been mentioned at least once in each of the recent chapters) had just made it down to the first floor to check on Newt after seeing him fall from the twelfth floor and into the fountain. He saw Newt running as fast as he could, carrying a sack with Minerva's blond tail sticking out of it. He immideately figured out what he was doing, and he took off after Newt. Newt was almost twenty feet away from the exit as he said to himself happily...

"There it is... I'm almost there!"

But when he was about to go through the door, he got hit on the head really hard by something...

SMACK!!!

He stopped to rub his head, then he turned around and saw what it was that hit him: it was a nightstick that belonged to the security guard, which he used to stop Newt.

"I've noticed what you were just doing when I came down, and I cannot tolerate that!"

"But... but..."

"I mean, shoplifting from one of the stores here is actually a pretty common crime, but kidnapping someone? Now THAT crosses the line here in this mall, pal!"

He began to smack Newt a couple of times with his nightstick, and then he picked him up and tossed him right out of the Mega Mall. After doing so, he untied the sack Minerva was sealed in. After she emerged from it, she was saying...

"Now who could've possibly done such a thing to a gorgeous mink like myself? I've never had anybody try to pull a stunt like that to little ol' me. I think that whoever did it must have been somebody who's allergic to minks, since that's the only reason I know that somebody would do something like that..."

"Are you okay, ma'am?"

Minerva turned her head to see who it was that spoke up. When she saw the security guard, her jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out in cartoon-style at the sight of him. Then, her body stood in the air with her hair and tail all frizzled up and her eyes became the shape of hearts (which is a common effect seen when a character falls in love with someone). Afterward, she leaped into the arms of the security guard and hugged him tightly.

"Are you the handsome-looking figure that tried to rescue me?"

"Yes, I am. The guy who tried to take you away has already been taken care of, so there's no need for you to worry."

"Thank you. By the way, how'd you like to come over to place and mingle a bit?"

"That's, uh, awfully nice of you to ask, but I have a job to do here at this really huge place; and also, I already have a wife."

Minerva's smile almost lessened after hearing him say that.

"I see... Well, I guess I'll just head back to my home then..."

She picked up her bags and headed for the exit. When she was about to do so, she heard the security guard say...

"Oh! One more thing... Merry Christmas!"

Minerva turned her head and said as she smiled back at him...

"Merry Christmas to you, too."

As for Newt, he was lying down in the middle of road after being thrown out of the Mega Mall. He said to himself as he came to...

"Well, this has not been a very good day for me at all... I've been smacked, squashed, shocked and even had my taste buds severely scorched...and all because I tried to capture a mink in a mall. Maybe...just maybe...there could be a sign telling me that all of this misfortune that's happened to me will finally come to an end..."

Then, he heard a familiar honking noise from behind...

SMASH!!!

Another semi-truck had run him over like before. After being flattened again, he picked himself off of the road and walked away. Newt began to sob...

"I knew I should have stayed in bed today... I should have!"

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	8. Chapter 8: Christmas At Minerva

Well, it seemed that Newt had finally decided to give up after a hassle like that, huh? We'll get to see what Minerva will-

"Not so fast!"

What the...? Is that you, Newt?

"Yeah, it's me. I've got something to say to you... Throughout this entire story, you've have me badly hurt in almost every chapter I was in! When am I finally going to get a well-deserved break from all that pain here?!"

Don't you worry about a thing, Newt; you won't get to appear in this chapter, so rest assured...

"I see... Well, then I guess I'd better go on home and take a hot bath to heal my aching body..."

As I was saying, we'll get to see what Minerva will be doing in this chapter... Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 8 - Christmas At Minerva's**

It was around five 'o clock when Minerva left the Mega Mall. She walked past the parking lot and signaled another taxicab that would take her back home.

"Oh, taxi!"

A taxicab slowed down and stopped in front of her. She opened the door and stepped inside.

"To the forest outside of town, please."

The driver didn't say anything, but he did respond by nodding before he drove off. Minerva was actually surprised that the driver in this taxicab didn't even react in any way at the sight of her when she got in (What she doesn't realize is that this driver was none other than Mr. Skullhead, who was working part-time by driving a taxicab during the holiday season). She decided to communicate with him just to be sure that there was nothing wrong with him.

"So what are you doing tomorrow? I'm having some friends of mine over to my place on Christmas, so I went to the Mega Mall to do a bit of last-minute Christmas shopping after I had almost forgot. Pretty hectic, wouldn't you say?"

The driver just responded by shrugging his shoulders.

"You know, you're actually one of a few guys I'll seen today that didn't even notice my hot figure like everyone else did, not that that's a bad thing; I mean, I'm actually used to getting all kinds of attention from people I don't really know at every place I go to. I guess you can say that my beauty is just something that makes the world go around..."

A few minutes later, the taxicab had arrived at Minerva's destination. Minerva then got out after stopping.

"I suppose my ride is about 20 bucks?"

The driver responded by nodding.

"Okay, then... Here you go."

She gave the driver twenty dollars before she shut the door. As soon as the taxicab drove off back to town, Minerva walked back to her home in the middle of the forest. When she made it inside, she wasted no time getting everything ready by tomorrow; she wrapped up all the gifts she got for her friends and put them under her tree, she made a couple of desserts in the kitchen, and she cleaned up the inside of her home to make it look nicer. After she had done all those things, she looked at the clock on the wall to see what time it is: it was almost nine o' clock. She then exclaimed to herself...

"My stars, it's gotten late! I'd better get myself ready for bed if I'm going to get my beauty sleep!"

So she took a quick shower, dried herself off, put on something to sleep in, and went to bed. She had a busy day today, and she was ready for it to end.

-----

The very next day, it was Christmas; Minerva woke up, got herself cleaned up, put on a similar outfit like the one she wore yesterday, and made sure that everything was ready for today.

"My friends will arrive here any minute soon, and I hope I didn't forget anything..."

Just then, she heard a knock at the door. She went to answer it, and saw who it was: it was Dot Warner, the Warner Sister.

"Hi, Minerva!"

"Oh, hi, Dot! I'm quite glad that you showed up. Did your brothers come as well?"

Before Dot could say anything, Yakko and Wakko (The Warner Bros.) popped in and said to Minerva...

"Hellooooo, mink!"

They stood right in front of her with their tongues hanging out of their mouths, panting happily at the sight of her. Dot stood there all embarrassed like she does every time her brothers act that way.

"Boys... Go fig'."

She then dragged her brothers by their tails to the living room of Minerva's home; she then smacked some sense into them by pulling out a candy cane and knocking them silly with it. A couple of minutes later, Minerva heard a low knocking at the door. She opened the door, and saw that it was Pinky and The Brain.

"Hi ya, Minerva! Narf!"

"Hi, Pinky. It's nice of you and Brain to arrive as well."

"I don't see why we had to come over here when we should have been planning to take over the world while everybody's celebrating the holidays..."

"Come on, Brain! Where's your holiday spirit?"

"Let's just say I'm not the kind of mouse who enjoys the holiday season that much... I only came because we were invited to do so."

Pinky and Brain then walked into the living room. A few minutes later, there was knocking at the door again. Minerva opened the door and saw who it was this time: Slappy Squirrel and her nephew, Skippy.

"Hey there, Slappy. Merry Christmas."

"Eh, what's there to be merry about today? It's so cold outside that I almost became stiff on the way over here!"

"So... How are you doing, Skippy?"

"Really fine, Miss Mink! Don't really mind my Aunt Slappy; she tends to forget her holiday spirit every now and then..."

Slappy and Skippy then went into the living room where the others were. A few more minutes later, there was another knocking at the door. Minerva opened the door and saw Wilford B. Wolf.

"Uhh, Hi ya, Minerva..."

"Oh, hi, Wilford. Thanks for coming as well."

Even though Minerva wasn't particularly interested in Wilford that much back then, she started to like him more after learning that he transforms in a handsome-looking hunk during the full moon; Minerva had become friends with him ever since.

"Uhh, how are you today?"

"Oh, I'm just doing fine, as usual."

Wilford then took a seat in the living room with all the others. Minerva decided to join them as well. Before doing so, she began to think to herself...

"It appears that everyone has arrived except Newt... I know that he's tried to go after me countless times ever since we first met, but I couldn't help but like him for trying. I just hope he gets here as well..."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	9. Chapter 9: Newt's Arrival

Before we begin the final chapter of this story, I'd like to wish everyone here to have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. Story and plot created by me; Minerva Mink and other Animaniacs characters created by Warner Bros.

A Minerva Mink Christmas

**Chapter 9 - Newt's Arrival**

Minerva went into the living room with her friends and sat down. They spent time talking about all kinds of things that happened to them, they ate some dessert that Minerva had made for them to munch on, and they played a couple of board games that the Wakko had with him in his gag bag (where he holds all kinds of items for him to use when needed). After a while, it was time to open gifts that everyone had brought for each other. Minerva announced...

"Okay, everyone... It's time for us to open the gifts we got for each other! Since this is my house, I will start by giving everyone the gifts that I bought for them."

First, she handed Yakko his gift. He opened it, and saw it was a fine leather journal.

"Thanks, Minerva! With this, I'm able to write down any joke I'll think of and jot it down!"

Next, she handed Wakko his gift. He opened it, and gasped happily with what he got: a new mallet.

"Faboo! Thank you, Minerva!"

Then, Minerva handed Dot her gift. She opened it, and saw a fancy-looking hand mirror.

"Now I'll be able to admire my cuteness anytime I look into it! Thanks, Minerva!"

After she gave Dot her present, Minerva gave Pinky his present. He opened it, and saw it was a can of peanut brittle.

"Peanut brittle? I never had that stuff before in my life... I'm gonna try some right now."

But when he opened the can, a bunch of spring-loaded snakes popped out, practically surprising him.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! That was so funny, Minerva! Thanks! Narf!"

When Minerva was about to give Brain his gift, she told him...

"I kinda had trouble finding something for a mouse like you, so I got you something simple that anyone can enjoy."

Brain opened his gift and saw what he got: a Magic 8 Ball.

"I know what this is: it's an amusing toy that supposedly predicts the future when you ask it a question involving 'Yes' or 'No'."

"So what are you going to ask it, Brain?"

"I guess it's kind of obvious what I'm going to ask, Pinky..."

He picked up the Magic 8 Ball with both of his arms and shook it; as he was doing so, he asked it...

"Will I be able to take over the world someday?"

He turned it upside-down and the lens read OUTLOOK GOOD.

"Yes! Thank you, Minerva Mink."

Afterward, Minerva handed both Slappy and Skippy their gifts. Slappy got an old-fashioned film projector, and Skippy got an action-figure of a superhero called "Scorch Squirrel".

"Nicely done, Minerva! Now I can watch all of my old cartoons that I have kept at my house! Now that's the spirit of Christmas!"

"But, Aunt Slappy... Don't you usually mean 'Now that's comedy'?"

"Skippy, it's Christmas. What were you wanting to expect: a Ray Stevens holiday special?"

And finally, Minerva was ready to give Wilford his present.

"I know it's not much, but it's something I designed myself at the Mega Mall."

Wilford opened it, and saw what his gift was: a specially-designed calender that has pictures of Minerva with Wilford (in either his nerdy or handsome self) used as images for each month. The calender also displayed which days of the month the moon will be full.

"Wow! Thanks, Minerva! I don't know what to say..."

"I know I usually don't do this often, but since it's Christmas..."

She went up to him and kissed him. Wilford reacted by literally melting.

"I guess that's everyone I've given my gifts to... Who wants to hand theirs out now?"

Before anyone was about to answer, there was a knocking at the door. Minerva got up and answered it. It was Newt, who looked kind of depressed when he arrived.

"Hello there, mink. I've got something I want to say to you..."

"Newt! I'm so glad you arrived!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I actually invited you over to join my friends and celebrate Christmas with me, but I almost forgot until the very last minute; but now that you're here, that saved me a lot of trouble of calling you."

"Actually, I didn't come to spend Christmas with you; I just wanted to say something to you... Yesterday, I tried to go after you while you went to go shopping at the Mega Mall, but I got into all kinds of jams as a result; I was run over by a semi truck, I got smacked in the face by a bowling ball, I got a mouthful of hot sauce, I got electrocuted by a machine in one of the stores, and I landed in a fountain after jumping from twelve stories."

"I see... I'm so sorry that's happened to you."

"Actually, I'm the one who should be sorry; right when you were about to leave, it was me who pounced on you with a sack and tried to leave the place, but I got stopped by the security guard that I've ran into countless times and got thrown out, leading to me getting run over by a semi truck a second time."

"Well, Newt, seeing how as you when through all that trouble just to capture little ol' me, I still have something I'd like to give you..."

She handed him a gift that she wrapped up. Newt opened it and saw what it was: a picture frame containing a photo of Newt trying to go after Minerva.

"Wow, mink... No one's ever done something this nice for me other than my master..."

"Well, I figure you deserved something for all the times you went after me. Merry Christmas."

She then stepped up to Newt and kissed him on the cheek. Suddenly, Newt began to react by turning bright red and his body became shaped like a rocket; he then took off in the air like one, and reacted by going off like a set of fireworks, with sparks that spelled out MERRY CHRISTMAS, MINK. Minerva stepped outside to see the spectacular sight. Newt then landed on the ground, all black and burnt from what he went through.

"I think it's time I left for home now..."

Minerva waved farewell to Newt as we walked away. She then walked back inside her home to continue celebrating Christmas with her friends. It has been a very good Christmas for Minerva Mink this year, and she'll never forget it.

**THE END.**


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Animaniacs, Humor