Ed, Edd n Eddy 1. Intro

It took everything Kevin had not to flinch when a stack of (rather heavy) binders dropped onto the desk beside him.

"_Bonjour, madame._" Eddward smiled, flashing the gap in his teeth as he nodded to the teacher. "_Je m'excuse pour mon retard_. My methods of transport were limited this morning- my car wasn't functioning as properly as I'd have liked."

"_Pas de soucis_, Mr. Vincent." She smiled back at him.

Kevin dimly noted that despite four years of French, he had no clue what they were saying.

He refused to glance up from his notes as Edd shifted into the neighboring seat- conjugating impersonal expressions were too important for that. He didn't glance up when the other boy took off his jacket, slinging it across the back of his chair. He surely didn't glance up when in the process Eddward's shirt rose up past his hips.

No, he didn't look over once. Not at all.

Eddward, however, was enjoying his view. He bluntly looked the shorter male over, smirking slightly at his bright green sweater and over-sized cap. For a reason he would later determine, Kevin's cheeks were slightly red- Edd make a slight sound of affirmation as he realized he had freckles.

Kevin's head snapped to look at the taller male-

who was watching the teacher write verbs on the chalk board.

"Wha-" The ginger scrunched his eyebrows.

Azure eyes glanced back at him. "...May I help you?"

"Did you say something?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I did not." Eddward turned to the board once more, mentally scolding himself for making a sound. "If you'd please, I'd like to observe the principles of this language without interruption."

Kevin relaxed his face again, satisfied with a response. He nodded, watching the teacher again- she spoke quite quickly in English, as well as French. After a few minutes, something clicked. "Hey, wait, you speak French all the time. What're you taking this class for?"

"I am required to take all levels of this class if I am to accumulate the offered credits. An 'easy A', as you'd say."

He nodded. "You said you had some car trouble this morning?"

"Indeed. I believe there's an issue with the ignition coils- however, auto mechanics aren't my forte." he sighed, rubbing his temple. "I'll be forced to acquire the assistance of a professional."

"I could help."

Edd chuckled, turning in his seat to face the shorter boy totally. "You profess in auto mechanics?"

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck with a small smile. "My dad runs a shop down the street."

"When is a decent time for your service?"

"I'm free after school."

"I'll drive m-"

Kevin squawked loudly, causing multiple students to glance over. "_**NO**__, no,_ no no no," He gulped, waving off the people who were now staring. "You drive the 2014 Camaro that's usually out there, right?"

"Yes?"

"Dude, if your ignition coils need to be replaced, driving it will absolutely ruin your system. I can just walk across the street. It's fine."

"As you wish." Eddward watched him. "... I've never told you what year or make my car is."

"My dad owns a mechanic shop. You learn things. Seriously, if you screw up that ignition, I'm keeping that car."

"If you damage my car, I'll damage your pelvis."

"Deal."

AUTHORS NOTES

Holy hell this is so short I swear the next chapter will be longer-

I have no idea what I'm doing, so bear with me on this.

For the record, Edd drives a black 2014 Camaro. I would have sex with that car.

OOC people are OOC I'm working on it.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're an idiot. Literally, an idiot. Defined as Kevin Barr. It's in the dictionary. I bet you. Webster, man, I swear-"

"You done?" Kevin yawned, leaning on his hand as he picked an apple off of Nazz's lunch tray with the other.

"Not even close." Nazz snapped, stabbing her mashed potatoes. "Why would you help him? He's arrogant,"

"True."

"Self-centered,"

"Mmhmm." He bit into the apple, making a face at its lack of flavor.

"He's sarcastic as hell,"

"Totally."

"Are you even listening?"

"I agree."

"And he's got the best ass in the school."

"Damn straight."

Nazz snorted, smirking at the mortified ginger. "Gotcha."

"You're not funny."

"I'm freaking hilarious."

Kevin huffed, tossing the apple across the table and into the trashcan. "I'm not doing it for him. I just really don't want to see a car like that get trashed."

"Riiiiight."

"Shut up, Nazz."

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

Kevin skipped the last step getting off the bus, hopping onto the curb of the street. He slid slightly on the fallen leaves that covered the cement. Shifting his weight back onto both feet, he looked around his neighborhood. The southern town was in full blown autumn, colors everywhere to accent halloween decorations- despite it only being the 20th, everyone was anticipating the holiday.

He walked along the street as he came to the simple house that Eddward lived in. Taking in the neatness of the porch, Kevin rang the doorbell.

A quiet chime resounded through the house despite its size, echoing through its halls. After a moment, Eddward opened the door, leaning on its frame as he glanced at the street behind Kevin.

The younger quirked an eyebrow. "How'd you get here without taking the bus?"

"I had Marie drive me." He stepped to the side to allow the blue-ette to step onto the porch.

Kevin smiled fondly and waved at the Kanker sister as she walked down the steps and towards her car. She drove an old-fashioned white beetle- he couldn't quite make out the year. But it fit her quiet demeanor, polar opposite to Eddward's snide comments and arrogance. She usually wore a plain sweater and jeans, much like Kevin, and was the best girl on his chess team. Essentially, she was a quieter, female version of himself. Kevin almost called out to ask about any new releases at the bookstore she worked at when he remembered Eddward was standing there.

Kevin glanced back to the brunette, who watched to make sure Marie was safely in her car before making eye contact. "So. You and Marie, huh?"

"We're strictly platonic." He said simply, turning on his heel and gesturing to follow. "This way to the garage."

He stepped into the house, glancing around at the pristine white walls and carpeting, accented by black furniture. As he passed through the kitchen, he noticed the fridge was cover in paper notes.

_Finish your homework._

_Do your laundry._

_We expect better._

_We'll bring you with us when we feel you've earned our respect._

"Jesus…" Kevin muttered. "Your parents seem a bit cold."

Eddward stopped dead, not budging an inch when Kevin walked straight into his back. He looked over his shoulder at the boy, eyes narrowed into slits. "Please refrain from speaking of my parents in a disrespectful manner."

Kevin took a step back, raising his hands in front of him. "Right, I didn't- that came out wrong. Sorry."

If Edd had heard him, he showed no sign as he walked onward towards the garage. He opened the door, stepping aside to allow Kevin to slip past him. "You should find all necessary tools in the vicinity."

He nodded, glancing about the room. He quickly moved to the car, glancing first for external damage. "I'll need the keys to pop the hood."

"Excuse me?"

"To see the engine."

Edd nodded, tossing the keys to the bespectacled male.

Kevin unlocked the drivers door, leaning in to pull the latch that released the lock before stepping out again. "What told you something was wrong?"

"The check engine light was on."  
"That's it?"

"I suppose I could've waited for something to explode."

He rolled his eyes, taking off his sweater in case he had to work with oil or gas- he was wearing a tank underneath, anyways. He lifted the hood with eyes roving for anything that looked out of place. "Battery looks fine, all the pistons are in place- your ignition coils don't look busted, or even rusty-... Goddammit, Edd."

"Hmm?" Eddward glanced up, eyes peeling away from the lean teen's thinly covered torso.

"You just lost a gas cap." He chuckled. "They're,barely a buck. I don't have any at the house, though. I'll have to grab one from my dad's shop tomorrow."

He nodded, stuffing one hand in the pocket of his jeans to check his phone. It was close to five, and Marie had yet to text him and say she'd gotten home safely. "I'll return in a moment- I must make a call."

"Yeah, sure. Do you mind if I look around the engine? This things got, like, 500 horsepower."

"As you please. Enjoy your equine studies." He muttered, dialing Maries number as he walked back into the house.

"Wait, horsepower's-" the door slammed. "... got nothing to do with that."

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

Edd gripped the granite counter, knuckles turning white as the phone went straight to voicemail. "Marie, it's Eddw- my apologies, formalities, it's Double Dee- regardless, I grow worried at the state of your well being, as I've received no word from you as to your arrival upon home. I'd greatly appreciate a reciprocating call."

He ended the call and placed the phone back into his pocket, spinning on his heel to walk back into the garage. As he opened the door, he made a small choking noise at Kevin- who was currently upside down from the ceiling. "_Qu'est-ce au nom de Dieu-?!_"

Hey! H-hey, woah, no, don't get mad, don't French at me-" He gestured wildly with one hand, the other cupped something to his chest. "There was a granddaddy long legs up here! I didn't want him to get-"

There was a pessimistic groan from the metal bar he was perched on.

"Kevin, get off my ceiling."

"Right, sure, hold the spider."

"What?"

"Hold the stupid spider!"

"_Non_!" He threw out his arms. "_Vous idiot! Juste sauter!_"

"What are you even saying?!"

Eddward snarled, jumping to stand on the hood of his car. He placed a hand on each side of Kevin's waist, pulling him off the bar and promptly dropping him onto the floor of the garage. "I hope your filthy arachnid is dead."

"He's fine, and says thanks for the confidence boost."

It took all that Edd had not to jump from the hood of the car and crush every one of Kevin's ribs. "I need you to drive me to Marie's house."

Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay with riding a motorcycle?"

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

"I've changed my mind!" Eddward barked. "Take me back!"

Kevin laughed, glancing over his shoulder at the taller male clinging to his back.

"_Eyes on the road!_"

Kevin grinned underneath his helmet, swerving to irk the other male. By the grip on his shoulders, he assumed it was working. They drove along the highway, taking a route faster than the back roads Edd usually took. Kevin usually didn't have much confidence- but when it came to his bikes, he was invincible.

He took an exit off of the busy road, turning into a more secluded section that led to the Kanker's trailer. Despite growing incredibly wealthy, the family had decided to stay in the park to help the girls keep their friends. Kevin noticed Eddy walking along the side of the road with his girlfriend of eight months, Lee- Eddy was an intimidating 6' 4 and 250 pounds- the high school quarterback, despite only being a sophomore. He was still the gullible softie he'd always been, tagging round Lee like a lost puppy. Lee- oh, god, Lee. Head of her class for three years, most stunning girl in school, and never had a first kiss.

Lee was crying.

Kevin slowed the motorcycle, cutting the engine as it rolled to a stop.

"Lee?" Eddward called, hopping off the bike and staggering a few steps before regaining his footing. "Where's Marie?"

Eddy glanced up, sighing heavily as he shook his head. "She crashed. The bug's trashed- how'd you guys even get here? The back roads would've been backed up to kingdom come by now."

"We took the highway." Kevin muttered, running a hand through his hair. "How is she?"

Eddy looked over to the ginger with a shrug. "Better than she was, I suppose."

"Oh, thank god." Edd breathed deeply. "What hospit-"

"She's dead." Lee said between sobs.

.

.

.

(A/N: I can explain. Really. So, since this is Reverse!AU, everyone is literally their polar opposite. So, Eddy's now tall, buff, and the guy who always gets scammed. Lee is a genius, had little interest in Eddy, and has most of the guys drooling over her. For future reference, Rolf comes from a rich family who profits from animal trade. Ed is scrawny but tall and tags around with Eddy most of the time, when he's not on the chess team. May Kanker is still the ditzy blond, but is much more independent. As a matter of fact, the sisters really don't spend as much time together as they'd like to. May is also in the sewing club.)


	3. (Not) Chapter 3

Alright- sorry to keep my numerous (one) followers waiting, but I'm just getting home from NC, so I have no new chapter ready. But, however, I do have a little thing that associated with upcoming chapters. Shout out to Yunnora Lovespell for her review, and Roriez for favoriting/following.~

This will be removed once I post the new chapter.

"God damn it, Edd, would you slow down?"

"Language. No, I will not slow my pace. You should increase your own."

The freckled teen swore under his breath as he jogged to keep up with the others long strides. "What's your deal? I get it, she's like family to you-"

"She _is_ family to me."

"You've got a fucked up family."

Edd looked sharply over and the redhead, pointedly brushing a branch out of his way and letting it snap back and knock off the shorter male's hat. "We agreed not to disrespect my family."

"I think the terms can be shuffled a bit when I join you on a vacation to the Amazon." He swiped the hat out of the air before it reached the ground, ducking under the branch. When he stood back up, he saw the path they'd been following for days stop at what seemed like the edge of the world. Stepping closer to the edge, he saw the sheep drop ended nearly 300 feet below in a lazy river- which, still looked none too friendly. He glanced to his right, seeing no way to cross. "Great. What now?"

He looked over to find Edd.

Find Edd.

Shit.

"Edd?" Kevin called, turning in a full circle. "This isn't funny, man-"

"I'm right here, you imbecile." Eddward stuck his head out from behind another tree. "I found a bridge while you were squabbling in your thoughts. Follow me unless you'd care for a swim."

"I really don't appreciate your sarcasm."

"Pity." He hummed as he backtracked along the path, veering left after a few paces as Kevin followed close behind.

The brunette stepped out of the treeline, eyeing the canyon again before turning to face a bridge.

To him, it was a bridge.

To Kevin, it was suicide.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Do I ever 'kid'?"

Kevin contemplated for a moment, before shrugging with a nod. "I guess not." He walked to the edge of the bridge. "But you're sure this is a good idea?"

"I don't recall ever saying this was a good idea." Eddward said calmly, stepping onto the first plank of the bridge with slight hesitation. He looked to the far end of it, furrowing his brow. "Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to go first."

"Are you shitting me?"

Azure eyes snapped back to him. "You're mass is lesser than mine. My weight could cause a break in the bridge, meaning neither of us could cross. I'll be just behind you. Remember we're doing this for Marie's sake- neither of ours."

Kevin opened his mouth to object, then closed it. He raised his hands, opened his mouth again, before frowning and throwing his arms back in defeat. "It's annoying when you're right."

"Which is always." He shoved the boy onto the bridge. "Please maintain a swift pace."

"We can't all walk ten feet in a single step." He snapped back, gripping the word rope on the sides of the bridge as he struggled to look ahead, and not between the planks of the bridge into the abyss below.

He straightened his hat with a deep breath a trudged forward. Every creek made him pause, and though the wind only blew once, it was enough to nearly send him skittering over the edge of the bridge- only to have Eddward heave him back onto the bridge by the back of his sweater.

Eddward snorted after the fiasco, saying it wasn't that he cared- he simply needed Kevin alive to help find Marie's medicine. He'd have to thank his mother for the strength of the fabric if he got home.

_If._

Kevin shook his head, muttering a thank-you to Edd as he neared the edge of the bridge. He sniffled slightly- his allergies were miserably in this humidity- he snuffed slightly, trying to clear his nose-

"_Don't. You. Dare._" Edd hissed in alarm, glancing about. "One of the native animals of this biosphere is the vesper bat- their numbers are _immense_. A damp cavern in the side of a trench would be perfection for their territory. If you wake them, god so help me, I'll-"

He sneezed.

it wasn't a very loud sneeze, in his defense, but it echoed throughout the canyon, bouncing off its walls in a chorus of sound.

"Sorry." Kevin muttered, eyes wide at a growing squeaking sound from below the bridge.

Eddward shouted lividly in french, snarling as charged at Kevin.

"Wait, woah, WOAH-" The breath was knocked out of his chest as the swimmer slammed into his stomach, knocking him backwards and rolling off remaining few feet of the bridge.

Eddward's eyes widened as his foot caught in between two of the planks. His eyes locked onto Kevin, who was sputtering to catch his breath on solid ground merely ten feet away as he slammed onto the wooden surface.

He struggled to pull his boot out of the crevice as the bats grew louder, and he looked over the bridge to see the vast numbers rising around the bridge.

He wasn't scared of the bats.

But he was terrified that they weren't avoiding the ropes.

They majority merely flew past them, but many of the bats couldn't avoid the ropes- others paused to land on them. Eddward swore again, resolving to take off the boot-

When the left rope snapped.

This entire process happened within seconds- Kevin hadn't had a moment to recover, let alone respond. Barely having regained his breath, he looked over just in time to see Eddward latch onto the right hand rope,"_Edd-!_" only to have it snap under his hand.

"**_Eddward!_**"

The brunette glanced over just as he began to drop, and for whatever reason, it occurred to Kevin what the other teen had yelled in french moments earlier.

_Vous feriez mieux de la sauver._

You'd better save her.


End file.

Ed, Edd n Eddy