Harry Potter 1. Default Chapter

A Tale of Terror  
by Prathdrake  
  
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A/N: Warning: This fic isn't really scary. Its SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. There are only a few surprises along the way.  
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Legal Stuff: Nothing in this story belongs to me, except that which belongs to me.  
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Our story begins when Harry is just waking up. He rubs his eyes and notices that he is not in his dorm room. He is in a white room with a futuristic sliding door.  
  
"Where am I?" Harry questioned aloud. Suddenly he heard evil cackling and the door slid up. Draco Malfoy entered in a wheelchair with an eye patch.  
  
"Draco!" exclaimed Harry, "What happened? I didn't know you broke your leg and... ...what happened to your eye?"  
  
"Nothing, you nit-wit!" he answered. He took out a gun and shot Harry. Harry felt a point of pain above his heart. His whole life flashed before his eyes. He felt limp and his vision was fading. Slowly, but surely.... ....Harry died  
  
Narrator: Hey, wait a minute! This is my story! I don't want Harry to die! That's just not right! Change it now! *turns to audience* Sorry folks, we're having a little difficulty. We'll re-do it for you right now.  
  
Here's the new version:  
  
Draco shot Harry... ....with a stunning spell. He snapped his fingers. Instantly, Crabbe and Goyle appeared at his side in black suits.  
  
"Take him and follow me, men," ordered Malfoy. They picked Harry up by the arms that were frozen and started walking. They walked (Malfoy rolled) into a room that was pitch black except for a single, dim bulb, hanging from a wire.  
  
"Tie him up!" Malfoy yelled. When Harry was tied up, Malfoy pointed his wand at him.  
  
"Enervate!" he said. Harry unfroze. Malfoy was now mechanically stroking a cat.  
  
"Wh-why am I here?" queried Harry.  
  
"You must go through 3 frightening challenges," said Malfoy, "Each one more dangerous than the previous. If you survive, we will free from my hou-I mean this place. If you die, we don't free you. Its as simple as that. Your first task starts.... ....now!" Suddenly the light went out..... .....then on again. Then off. Then on. Then off. Turns out it was Goyle playing with the light switch.  
  
"Goyle!" screamed Malfoy, "Cut that out!"  
  
"Yessir," said Goyle. Suddenly, he took out a very large KNIFE.... ....and started hacking around the light switch.  
  
"What are you doing?" demanded Malfoy. Goyle stopped hacking and looked confused.  
  
"Just what you told me to do boss," said Goyle, "I'm cutting it out." Malfoy sighed and put his head in his hands.  
  
"Goyle," growled Malfoy, "Just throw the knife away. And Goyle did. The knife was aimed at Harry. Harry screamed. He tried to duck out of the way, but he couldn't because he was tied up. It struck him in his forehead.... ....with the butt end. Harry now had a bruise on his head the size and color of an eggplant. He started to cry.  
  
"I can't take all this chaos," yelled Malfoy, "Mr. Potter, your first challenge starts now!" He checked to see if Goyle was playing with switch. He wasn't. The three stooges... ....I mean acquaintances ran out of the room leaving Harry tied up in his chair. Suddenly, a big screen T.V. came out of the wall.  
  
"Watching television?" thought Harry, "What kind of a challenge is that?" The television was on now. The screen was snowy for a while, but then changed to... .....Barney! Harry was instantly sick. He threw up.  
  
"The fiends," he thought, "How could they be so heartless?" His brain started to rot and Harry could feel himself conking out. He knew that if he fell unconscious, he might not make it. But eventually, our hero did get conked out.  
  
****  
  
Harry woke up with the evil threesome standing. Somehow, he had made it through a half hour with that huge, purple, hurtin' loser.  
  
"Hey, boss," said Crabbe, "Somehow, Potter made it through a half hour of that big, purple freak o' nature." Malfoy looked at Harry.  
  
"Well, Potter," seethed Malfoy, "We still have two challenges to go. I guarantee you won't make it through the last, if not the second."  
  
"No!" screamed Harry. "You can't keep me here!" Harry struggled to lose the bindings, but it was all in vain.  
  
"Oh yes we can!"said Malfoy. He cackled evilly and then magically disappeared in a puff of smoke... ....then reappeared. Malfoy turned to Crabbe.  
  
"Crabbe," he sighed, "Get me a refund on that magic smoke. He turned to Harry.  
"Well, should we get on with the second task?" he asked.  
  
"No," answered Harry honestly.  
  
"I'll have none of your lip, boy," said Malfoy, sounding like a grandfather. The threesome ran out of the room (again) and locked the door. Suddenly the wall began to open and a platform came out. Harry heard a voice from no-where.  
  
"And heres... ....The Backstreet Boys!" Harry gasped. The band played. Instantly, Harry couldn't breath, but the band played on. Weird things started happening to Harry.  
  
His hair and toenails fell out. His skin started to decay. His.... ....Oh , right. This is a PG fic. Sorry kids, can't fill you in on the details. Any who, back to the story.  
  
It had been 1 minute already and Harry was groggy. He new that if he was exposed to too much more of this... ...monstrosity, he would die. This was worse than fighting Voldemort. suddenly, the ceiling cracked and fell on the band. The awful sound stopped. Obviously, the music (if you can call it that) had been too much for the ceiling. The door opened and in stepped Malfoy. He gasped. He had expected the Great Potter to be dead by now.  
  
"Oh, well," said Malfoy, "There's still one more challenge." Malfoy pulled a cord and a pair of curtains were pulled away to reveal something awful. Harry gasped.  
  
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A/N: Well, that's the end of chapter 1. I need your help to write the last chapter. E-mail me at prathdrake@home.com and tell me your ideas for the 3rd challenge Harry must face.  
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	2. A Tale Of Terror- Chapter 2

A Tale Of Terror- Chapter 2  
  
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A/N: OTAY! I finally got around to writing this chapter. I had a little difficulty deciding the third challenge for Harry, but I got my inspiration from the person who sent me the most ideas.  
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Legal Stuff: Most of the characters in this story belong to her Highness, JKR. The guest (can't tell you yet) belongs to herself (did you get that? you'll figure it out).  
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The curtain was opened. Harry could see what was inside. It was.... ....Aurora Lynn Rose!  
  
"No!" screamed Harry, "The terror!" He tried to bury himself in his robes, but found they weren't long enough. He looked up. She was moving toward him. before he knew it, she was right over him.  
  
"Wh-what d-do y-y-y-you w-want?" Harry managed to stumble.  
  
"Come and join ACHOO....." she said Gothically, "The yellow submarine needs you......." Suddenly she started laughing insanely.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She rushed over to a desk behind her and grabbed a handful of Pixi Stix. Already Harry was feeling faint.  
  
Aurora rushed back to Harry and shoved the Pixi Stix (wrappers and all) down his throat while singing Godsmack's "Forgive Me". Harry was choking (naturally). He didn't know how much longer he could survive without air. Aurora changed her song to "Yellow Submarine". Harry was not only choking now, but on the verge of passing out from the wretched song. Aurora paid no attention to Harry's expression and went on.  
  
"All our friends were all on board, many more of them lived right next door......."  
  
Harry's vision was blurring now and he knew he probably didn't have even one minute to live. What could he do? He felt around for something to club her off with. Then he felt his wand in his pocket.  
  
"Yes!" he thought! With much difficulty he pulled his wand out his pocket and thrust it in the air. With his last breath, he called out his spell.  
  
"Accio METMA Mandy!" he yelled. Instantly Aurora gasped, let go and turned around just as Mandy appeared. Freedom! Harry could breathe again!   
  
Aurora Lynn Rose was entranced by Mandy. She fell down by Mandy's feet and started kissing them.  
  
"I-hope-I've-pleased-you-master," she said between kisses. Harry tried to run away, but a tug let him know he was still strapped in a chair. Draco came out from the lead wall he had been hiding behind.  
  
"Daaaaaaarg!" yelled Malfoy, "How do you keep on surviving?!"  
  
"I don't know," said Harry, "Its probably because I'm the hero of the story."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right," said Draco disappointedly, "I guess you're free to go...." he untied Harry.  
  
"Do this again sometime?" asked Harry, "It was fun"  
  
"How's Tuesday?" asked Draco.  
  
"Perfect............................"  
  
  
THE END  
  
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A/N: How was that? Sorry Aurora Lynn Rose.... ....but it was funny, wasn't it? For those of you who have no clue who Aurora Lynn Rose is, go to www.geocities.com/heyodude/ACHOO.html. Please review.  
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Legal Stuff: Aurora Lynn Rose belongs to herself, Yellow Submarine belongs to The Beatles and Forgive Me belongs to Godsmack.  
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End file.

Harry Potter, Humor