Godzilla 1. Trevor and Spinox

**Me: Hello folks, as you know I'm Gigan2024. Now this is the first time I've actually appeared in a fanfic, and also been a host. Where I'm from, people call me the young Gabriel Iglesias. Today I'd like to do something involving a few OCs of my own, and combine them with the famous work of: Jeff Dunham!**

***Audience Cheers***

**Me: Everyone, I'd like to "Introduce the OCs". First OC, he's 5'7 in Boy Meets Kaijus but puppet-sized here, a Kaiju Fan like me, a resident of San Francisco, people help e welcome: Trevor Carlson!**

***Audience Claps***

**Me: *Takes out Trevor from the suitcase* **

***Continued Clapping***

**Me: Hey, Trevor.**

**Trevor: Hey, Gigan2024. Damn, thanks for taking me out first. Spinox changed the channel to Disney!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: What's so bad about Disney?**

**Trevor: Two words: Gay music**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *nod* Well, I'll give ya that.**

**Trevor: What you can give me is a new house. Biollante broke the fucking sink again.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: So, have you heard about the new games: Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire?**

**Trevor: The games you'll never have? Yes**

**Me: Well, I've been saving up and I think I'll have enough to buy Alpha Sapphire.**

**Trevor: Alright, I'll hit you with a flamethrower and use thief to take your laptop.**

***Audience laughs***

**Trevor: The last time I saw a Pokémon, it was in 1/8 of a whole Charizard. **

***Few laughs***

**Trevor: If you read chapter 7 of Boy Meets Kaijus, you'll see what I mean.**

**Me: Speaking of which, chapter 8's gonna have an OC based on a fan fiction author I know. It'll come out probably before or during the holidays.**

**Trevor: Speaking of which, I learned a song from a skeleton terrorist. **

***Audience cheers***

**Trevor: It's called "Terror Clause" or is it "Terror Claws?" Anyway, it goes like this: Ooohh, he kills you when you're sleeping. He chokes you when you awake. He knows if you are Catholic or Jew, so denounce your Infidel Face!**

***Audience claps and cheers***

**Trevor: I can never seem to get the song write. Being Catholic, I feel highly offended by it!**

**Me: Don't worry, you'll get used to it one day. **

**Trevor: What I won't get used to is Biollante's farts.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: What?**

**Trevor: Throughout the entire flight we had to breathe in your socks.**

***Audience laughs***

**Trevor: When we went through security, two suitcases behind us, a skeleton popped out and exclaimed "E'llo! I am Lindsey Lohan!"**

***Audience laughs and cheers***

**Me: *Muffled laugh* I think you guys saw Achmed.**

**Trevor: The dead terrorist? **

**Me: *Nod***

**Trevor: The guy who was in an animated movie?**

**Me: *Nod***

**Trevor: The guy that kicked your ass in Super Smash Bros. 3DS?**

**Me: *Frown***

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Well prepare to be put in your place, because you'll be on stage with another one of my puppets.**

**Trevor: Who?**

**Me: See for yourself. Everyone, please help me welcome: Spinox the Muutated Dinosaur! *Takes him out***

***Audience cheers***

**Spinox: *Looks at everyone* **

**Me: Hello, Spinox.**

**Spinox: Hello… Fan fiction writer.**

**Trevor: Who the fuck is that?**

***Few laughs***

**Me: He's your partner for whenever you're on stage. You two will be interacting and getting to know each other.**

**Trevor: What is this, eHarmony?**

***Audience laughs***

**Spinox: No, it's Shut the Hell Up and Try to Act like a Normal **

***Few laughs***

**Trevor: Where are you from? ?**

**Spinox: No, I'm from Kill the **

***Audience laughs***

**Me: What do you have against Catholics?**

**Spinox: It has something to do with the 3 inch dick-sized loser on your left hand.**

***Audience laughs***

**Trevor: Feel free to suck it, dumbass.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Okay, okay, guys let's calm down and talk about what's important.**

**Trevor and Spinox: The beating up of Chinese People?**

**Me: *Frown***

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Okay, there is nothing funny about that, guys. Stop being racists.**

**Trevor: What do you mean?**

**Spinox: You're the one writing this shit.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Okay, that's true. But-**

**Trevor: Buuuttt?**

**Me: But-**

**Spinox: Buuuttt?**

**Me: But-**

**Spinox and Trevor: Think about it.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Well, I'm just actually writing what a guy at school said.**

**Spinox and Trevor: *Looking at me* **

**Spinox: Seriously?**

**Me: Yes**

**Trevor: You sure?**

**Me: As sure as Godzilla is a Saurian.**

**Spinox: What's his name?**

**Me: Microl Chen**

**Trevor: Okay, I think you just made that up.**

**Me: I didn't!**

**Spinox: Who the fuck names their kid after a car company?**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: A lot of kids are named after companies.**

**Trevor: Really? Name one.**

**Me: … Okay, you got me there.**

**Spinox: Aha! **

**Me: But Microl Chen is a real person.**

**Trevor: Hm, now that you mentioned it, I've seen that guy before. He's scrawny, has crooked teeth, and a seriously racist son of a bitch. **

**Spinox: How do you know?**

**Trevor: A lot of racists go to the school this guy goes to.**

**Me: *Frown***

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Says the guy who's a friend of the Ku Klux Klan.**

**Trevor: *Wide eyed***

***Audience gasps***

**Spinox: Busted!**

**Trevor: Uuuuhhhh, I have no idea what you are talking about.**

**Me: C'mon, I can tell** **you're lying.**

**Trevor: What? You are insane!**

**Me: You're not using contractions.**

**Trevor: Damn it!**

***Audience cheers***

**Trevor: Well, Spinox is friends with Megalon. And the people who first created Megalon were dressed up in costumes with pointy tops!**

**Spinox: Pointier than yours.**

***Audience laughs***

**Trevor: Okay listen, you!**

**Me: Trevor! Calm down, you two need to get used to each other because the next time we do this, you two will be in the same act.**

**Spinox and Trevor: We're fucked.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Spinox, can you get used to Trevor?**

**Spinox: I guess I can try.**

**Me: Trevor, how about you?**

**Trevor: Maybe, only if I still get to watch TMNT afterward.**

**Spinox: Spoiler Alert! *Whisper* They kick Shredder's ass by playing a stupid game from their childhood.**

***Few laughs and aws***

**Trevor: You mother fucker!**

**Spinox: *Laughs maniacally***

**Me: Can I just say something?**

**Spinox and Trevor: What?**

**Me: Your act's over, and Raptor Ray changed the channel to Pawn Stars.**

**Spinox and Trevor: NOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: And these guys are Trevor and Spinox everybody!**

***Audience claps and cheers***


	2. Raptor Ray

**Me: Folks, 65 million years ago all dinosaurs went extinct. In the Mario Bros Movie they called big humanoid dinosaurs Goombas and Koopas. Today I'd like to introduce an OC who's a little trigger-happy, a little outside of the box, and sure swears a lot. People, help me introduce: Raptor Ray!**

***Audience cheers***

**Me: *Takes out the Velociraptor***

**Raptor Ray: *Looks at everyone***

**Me: How's a going Ray?**

**Ray: I'm fine, homie, I'm fine.**

**Me: How do you like the U.S.A.?**

**Ray: There's a shit load of white people here, that's for sure.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *Muffled laugh* Come on, you too?**

**Ray: What?**

**Me: The racist joke thing. I went over this with Trevor and Spinox.**

**Ray: Oh, those two? Heh, I deleted all the channels and they're stuck watching Pawn Stars!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: So, could you stand Super Biollante's farts during the trip?**

**Ray: I had to share a suitcase with a little bitch in a Japanese uniform. When she got on my nerves I pistol-whipped that bitch!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Pistol-whip?**

**Ray: You know, *bang bang***

**Me: Okay, saying *bang bang* doesn't really help.**

**Ray: Well how do you want me talk?**

**Me: I don't know, like you would anybody.**

**Ray: Okay, WTF? **

**Me: *frown***

***Audience laughs***

**Ray: OMG, LOL, LMFAO!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Now, now, there's no need to laugh your fucking ass off.**

**Raptor Ray: That's what it means? I thought it meant lost my ass, oh sit.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *Grin***

***Continued laughs***

**Me: Ray**

**Raptor Ray: Yeah?**

**Me: I don't mean to sound offensive but, Velociraptors don't exactly have a full posterior.**

**Raptor Ray: What….. The….. Fuck!**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: If I don't have an ass then how did I take a shit on Mecha Tyrantrum's T.V.?**

***Audience laughs***

**Mecha Tyrantrum: *From the suitcase* You mother fucker! Say that to my face you primitive bastard!**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: That suitcase is locked right?**

**Me: Yeah**

**Raptor Ray: Inside and out?**

**Me: Yeah, why?**

**Raptor Ray: He scares the shit outta me!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *Chuckle* Anyway, back to your previous question. Raptors have this tiny hole beneath their tail.**

**Raptor Ray: I'm a guy dumbass, get to the male anatomy.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *Frown* No, I'm saying that this hole excretes feces and other wastes from the body's interior.**

**Raptor Ray: English please.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: You take a shit out of that hole.**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: That's better!**

**Me: I have good news for you, Ray.**

**Raptor Ray: The Daily Show was taken down from Comedy Central?**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *Frown* No**

**Raptor Ray: Smosh is appearing in their own movie?**

**Me: No, that's not it but they are making a new movie.**

**Raptor Ray: Titanollante from Wikizilla finally got a job?**

**Me: No, but if you're reading this Titanollante, just know that I don't appreciate you dissing on the guy who made a wiki about me.**

**Raptor Ray: Back to the subject; Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon are actually making good shows?**

**Me: No**

**Raptor Ray: Would you just fucking tell me?**

**Me: Sure, you'll be making another appearance in another one of the chapters for Cryptids and Kaiju Academy.**

***Audience cheers***

**Raptor Ray: That's good news?**

***Audience laughs* **

**Raptor Ray: That's worse than when my car rolled down a hill.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: What happened?**

**Raptor Ray: Let's just say that an old "comrade" didn't pay his debt and he had to go for a "road trip".**

***A few ohs***

**Me: How much did he owe you?**

**Raptor Ray: 45 golden rings**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: What did you need rings for?**

**Raptor Ray: When you live in the Green Hill Zone you just gotta have rings.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Who was your comrade?**

**Raptor Ray: A blue hedgehog; Sonic was it?**

**Me: You killed Sonic the Hedgehoog?**

**Raptor Ray: What? Nooooooooooomaybeoooooooyesoooooo**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: Looks like Raptor Ray did what Dr. Eggman couldn't.**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: *Chuckle* That's what she said! *Laughs***

***Audience laughs***

**Me: I can't believe you just did that.**

**Raptor Ray: That's what she said!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Ray!**

**Raptor Ray: That's what she said!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Would you stop that?**

**Raptor Ray: *Squeaky voice* That's what she said!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: How long is this?**

**Raptor Ray: *Squeakier voice* That's what she said!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: *Opens mouth slightly***

**Raptor Ray: *Stares at me*Think about it!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: So Super Biollante and I have been talking earlier.**

**Raptor Ray: Damn it!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: We've noticed how trigger-happy you are.**

**Raptor Ray: That's right cous', bitches wanna mess with me I just Burt Gommer their asses!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: So you've watched Tremors?**

**Raptor Ray: I didn't just watch it, I was in it!**

**Me: When?**

**Raptor Ray: I played as an Ass Blaster. You know? The one with the handsome face and awesome attitude.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: I think the only main Precambrians are El Blanco and the captured Ass Blaster.**

**Raptor Ray: Hey, at least I didn't appear in 4 Monsters and 1 Frozen Adventure!**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: What's so bad about it?**

**Raptor Ray: Where should I start?**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: First of all, no one's gonna read a story that's just Kaiju shoved into movie scenes. It sounds a lot better when I riff, rather than that Fire the Cannons Person.**

**Both: *Growl* Screw her.**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Anyway, the next chapter of Cryptids and KaijuAcademy is a sequel to the previous chapter.**

**Raptor Ray: Spoiler!**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: Spoilers are a bunch of bitches!**

**Me: At least I don't shoot everything that moves.**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: Oh sure, that one time.**

**Me: That "one time" led to the start of 9/11!**

***a few ohs***

**Raptor Ray: Great job pulling out the terrorist joke, dumbass.**

**Me: Well it was true. We were all just sitting in a plane until you yelled "Osama sucks ass!" **

**Raptor Ray: I was… uh….. Demonstrating what not to do around Muslims. #1: Never make fun of their leader.**

**Hydrone: *Inside suitcase* Yeah that's right, say it in front of my face you son of a bitch!**

**Raptor Ray: Which one Toho reject?**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: Ray, you're getting out of line.**

**Raptor Ray: Oh, like how you did in the conga line?**

***Audience laughs***

**Me: That was a long time ago.**

**Raptor Ray: That was 2 hours ago!**

***Audience laughs***

**Raptor Ray: Get your timing right, bitch.**

**Me: Well, once you go back into the case; Mecha Tyrantrum and Hydrone are gonna relieve their anger.**

**Raptor Ray: What do you mean?**

**Hydrone and Mecha Tyrantrum: *In the suitcase singing* When you're feeling angry, nothing gets in your way. Unless you beat up Raptor Ray!**

**Me: Okay, that was Raptor Ray everybody! *Puts away Raptor Ray as audience claps and cheers***


End file.

Godzilla, Humor