Bottom of a Bottle

**Bottom of a Bottle:**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters.

**Summary:** After losing count of the amount of drinks ingested, Elliot is clearly not thinking straight. Or is he? EO

**A/N:** This wasn't betaed. I hope you like it...it's my very first Law & Order: SVU fanfiction story, so I'm kind of unsure about it.

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A dark, smoky bar was where Elliot Stabler found himself after work. How many rounds of drinks he had consumed was unknown to him...he had lost count after six. He sat there, muttering under his breath. To any passerby, he would have looked severely intoxicated. Maybe he was, who knows? But his mind wasn't fuzzy; he was still thinking clearly. He thought about the divorce, he thought about Olivia, he thought about his kids, he thought about Olivia, he thought about his empty home, he thought about Olivia's beautiful facial features.

He sighed and buried his face in his hands. Everywhere he was, Olivia's face traveled with him. He loved her, he knew that, but he could never get the courage to tell that to her face. He should be fortunate he got to see her every day at work, but that just wasn't enough anymore. He was tired; tired of being alone, tired of hiding his feelings, tired of avoiding the fact that he loved her. He vowed to himself that he would go up to Olivia and tell her how he really felt.

"Elliot!"

He furrowed his brow. He thought he had just heard her voice. He listened, but didn't hear it again. It couldn't have been her, he just imagined it.

"Elliot!"

There it was again. He turned his head slightly as saw her looking all around the bar, concerned. He sighed and thought, _How the hell'd she find me here?_ He heard footsteps walking towards him, coming closer and closer. He quickly turned back around and stared into his empty glass. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and it was like an electric current had shot through his body. He knew who that hand belonged to, and he could smell her scent.

"Elliot, I've been calling," she said gently. "Didn't you hear me?"

He lied and shook his head negatively. Olivia looked at his worn-down figure. His eyes had bags under them, gray rings were also around his eyes, his face looked pallid, his eyes were drooping, his clothes were wrinkled, and he was sitting with his back arched. Olivia gazed at him sympathetically and asked, "El, how many drinks have you had?"

When Elliot shrugged, the bartender responded, "Eight."

Olivia thanked him and returned her focus back to her partner. She stood him up and said, "Okay, I'm taking you home. Let's go."

They both walked to her car. Elliot still had not spoken a work to her. The entire drive home, he was staring out the window. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as he asked himself how he was going to tell Olivia his feelings. She would never believe him; she thinks he's drunk! He sighed out loud, causing Olivia to look over at him. His hand was lying limply on his knee, so she took it in her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Elliot's eyes snapped to their interlaced fingers; her hands were so smooth and gentle. Elliot squeezed her fingers back and gave her a small smile before looking back out the window.

Olivia arrived at his apartment minutes later. They got out of the car, and she walked with him up to his front door. He opened the door and invited her in. She walked in and followed him into the kitchen. He offered her coffee, and she accepted. He turned on the coffee maker and they both sat down at the kitchen table. A few moments of awkward silence passed. The silence was broken by Olivia asking him if he was okay.

"I'm fine," he lied.

She raised an eyebrow, smirking. Elliot sighed and said, "Okay, I just needed to get away and think. I needed some answers."

"And you thought you'd find them at the bottom of a bottle," Olivia stated, not asking.

He nodded and ran a hand over his exhausted face. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the room. He looked over and saw that the coffee was ready. He took out two mugs and filled them. He brought her the mug and gave her the cream and sugar, although he already knew how she liked it. He drank it black and bitter, whilst she preferred a lot of cream and sugar. He sat back down and more tension settled between them.

"Why did you go to the bar?" she asked softly, as if interrogating a child.

"I told you, to think," he answered, staring at the black, swirling liquid.

She nodded, not quite believing him. She asked him what he needed to think about that caused him to ingest eight alcoholic beverages. He glared up at her, not answering that particular question, but said, "I'm not intoxicated."

"Oh, then why did the bartender call me and tell me that you were muttering under your breath?" asked Olivia roughly.

Elliot's shoulders drooped and his head dropped. Olivia sat, waiting for an answer that never came. She sighed and said, "Okay, you need to get some sleep. Thanks for the coffee."

She set the empty mug in the sink and walked to the door. She was stopped when she heard Elliot quietly mutter, "Please, don't go."

She furrowed her brows and turned her head to look at him. He was looking right into her brown eyes. She removed her hand from the doorknob and turned to look at her dejected partner. She walked back to him into the kitchen.

"Don't go," he pleaded softly.

She walked over to him. She looked at him with questioning eyes. Elliot took a deep breath before saying, "Liv, I love you...I always have. You're the center of my world and I don't ever want you to go."

Olivia sighed and said, "El, you're drunk. You're not thinking straight. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Liv, I know what I'm talking about," he said. "That's why I went to the bar...I needed to think about what to do about us. I thought I needed liquid courage to tell you how I really felt. I realize that was stupid, but I was thinking clearly the whole time. Please, I don't want to be alone anymore!"

Tears were in Olivia's eyes. She blinked and one fell down her cheek. She was overjoyed that he felt the exactly same way as she did, but yet she didn't want him to go to sleep and forget this whole conversation. Elliot tenderly moved his hand to her cheek and wiped away her tears with his thumb.

"Livia, what's the matter?"

She sniffled and whispered, "I love you too. But I'm afraid that once you go to sleep, this whole conversation will be erased from your mind, and we'll just go back to the way it was. I don't think my heart can take that."

"Oh honey, I won't forget," Elliot said. "I promise."

Olivia looked into his eyes and saw the raw emotion of love in them. She allowed herself to lower the defenses around her heart and she fell into his embrace. Elliot held onto her tightly, never wanting to let her go again. They stayed in that embrace together for awhile before Olivia insisted that he get some sleep.

"Then come lay with me," Elliot said.

Olivia nodded and followed him to the bedroom. He found her something comfortable to wear to bed, so she changed into a pair of his shorts and an oversized t-shirt. She crawled into bed next to him, and he wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her cheek gently and said, "I love you Olivia."

She smiled as she repeated his words. She then moved her hand so it was in his larger one. He gave it a squeeze, and they both drifted off into a blissful slumber, their hands never parting.

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**A/N 2:** So, did I do well for my first SVU story? If I did, please let me know. If I fell short, I'm sorry and please tell me how to improve.


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