Harry Potter Culture Shock

Disclaimer: I don't own them. How sad.

Warnings: H/D slash, spanking. Nothing too explicit.

Dedicated to the husbands and wives at the the livejournal community, cyn ful's harem, especially my dear cyn ful. I'm sorry to keep you waiting for your story, but hopefully you'll like this!

"You want to what?" Draco asked, blinking slowly.

The two were alone in the privacy of their new home, purchased less than a week ago. After so many weeks of dating, they had finally taken the next step and moved in together. The house was too large in Harry's opinion, but they really needed the space, if only for Draco's hair products.

Harry looked down at the ground, carefully avoiding Draco's eyes. He was blushing furiously, a fact that amused the other boy to no end.

"Umm..Spank you?" Harry said hesitantly.

Draco's amusement immediately vanished, replaced by the sort of horror one usually feels when faced with a rabid bear.

"NO!" he shrieked, hands going automatically to his rear in a protective gesture.

"But-" Harry protested, taking a step toward his boyfriend.

Draco took a matching step backward, considered, and then retreated a few more steps. He glared at Harry reproachfully as he backed himself against a wall. Hah. That would keep Harry's hands off his behind.

"No buts! Especially no hands on my butt!"he asserted.

"It's tradition!" Harry pleaded.

"Inflicting bodily harm on my poor defenseless arse is a tradition in your family!? What sort of twisted people are you?!!" he yelled, glaring at Harry crossly.

"It's your birthday!" Harry clarified as if it explained everything.

Draco just stared at him, completely baffled by this new line of reasoning. He shook his head, wondering what world Harry was off in.

"Which is yet another good reason why you shouldn't be slapping my behind!" he managed to retort.

"No, that's why I need to!" Harry replied, reaching out a hand to catch Draco's arm.

Draco immediately wrenched his arm away, backing up until the wall pressed firmly against his back. He glanced across the room, wishing he could get hold of his wand and cast some nasty curse on his annoying boyfriend. Preferably something that involved large, painful boils.

"You need to spank my bum? So, you're going to die if I don't let you?" Draco asked with an evil smirk.

"Umm, maybe?" Harry answered, his eyes suddenly hopeful.

"Good," he said, his smirk changed to an evil smile.

Harry glared at him and lunged, trying to grab a hold of the other boy. Draco dodged to the side, making a break for the door as Harry fell. He glanced back, laughing gleefully at the pitiful heap the other boy had become.

"Draco!!!" Harry yelled in exasperation from where he lay.

He reached out a hand to Draco, beckoning him to come over to him.

"No!" Draco shook his head vehemently, beginning to open the heavy oak door behind him. Harry sighed, and grabbed his wand from his cloak. He hastily shouted a spell, knowing it would stop Draco in his tracks.

A series of thin ropes shot at Draco, tangling him up and dragging him to the floor. Once he was down, the ropes quickly tied themselves around his arms and ankles, effectively binding him. He struggled wildly for a few moments, but finally gave up. Irritated, he glanced up at Harry, who was laughing. The other boy walked over to Draco, picking the bound boy up with relative ease. He kissed Draco playfully on the cheek and gently deposited him in a chair.

"Bloody Muggle barbarians and their bloody _evil_ traditions!" Draco complained, trying to wiggle of the chair.

"Stop whining," replied Harry, grabbing a hold of Draco

He lifted him into his arms again, and took a seat with Draco across his lap, positioned to give him the easiest access to Draco's behind. The other boy was still twitching wildly, trying to break free, though it was obviously hopeless. Harry had made sure he knew that spell perfectly before he started dating Draco. He petted the soft pale hair, amused by Draco's annoyed snarls.

"I have every right to whine!" Draco protested.

"It could be worse," Harry pointed out.

Draco tried to turn and look at him, but Harry held him still. He let his hand rest on Draco's buttocks, which elicited another growl from the pale boy.

"I could have Hagrid spank you," Harry whispered in his ear.

Draco shivered, more from the disgusting thought than from the feel of Harry's mouth against his skin. Or, at least, that's what he told himself.

"Ugh. Thanks for that _lovely_ thought," he said sarcastically.

Harry chuckled as he began to pull off the loose pants Draco was wearing, revealing soft, ivory-white skin.

"Hey! You can spank me with my pants on, thank you," Draco said.

Harry smiled, removing the pants completely and leaving Draco bare. The expensive black pants fell into a heap on the floor, a soft fabric pile on the dark wood. The other boy shivered at the breath of cold air on him, hissing as Harry's hand came back to rest on his naked behind.

"Sorry, Draco," Harry said with a playful smile.

"Bloody fucking hell," Draco cursed, wiggling uncomfortably on Harry's lap.

"Cursing only gets you more spankings," Harry said, patting his behind as a warning.

Draco squirmed again, causing Harry to gasp softly. Glancing up at his lover out of the corner of his eye, he smiled seductively.

"What gets me less?" he asked softly.

Harry laughed, kissing his lover's sweet mouth tenderly. He felt Draco relax against him, leaning into the kiss.

"Nothing," he said, smiling and pulling away.

"That seems a bit unfair," Draco said, glaring up at him evilly.

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" answered Harry.

"I don't suppose you'll just give up, then?"

"Not a chance," he said, letting his hand roam across Draco's bare skin.

"Hey, you're supposed to slap my arse, not molest it!" Draco complained.

"Maybe we can skip the spanking," Harry whispered, leaning down to kiss Draco fiercely.

"Spanking first, Harry," Draco managed to gasp as Harry's mouth left his. His lips were tinged red, glistening brightly in the faint light.

"Huh? I thought you didn't want me to," Harry replied, baffled by his lover's change of mind.

"I just wanted to get you angry. I like it when you're angry," Draco answered, wriggling against Harry's lap. He looked up at Harry pointedly.

"Tease," Harry whispered, slapping Draco's naked rear.

The slap echoed throughout the room, followed by a needy moan and a few gasping laughs

"Happy Birthday, Draco."


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance