Harry Potter 1. Goodbye to You

****

GOODBYE TO YOU

__

Fanfic by: Leprechaun Lover

Disclaimer: Song belongs to Michelle Branch and characters from J.K. Rowling.

A/N: I have no idea where I got this idea from… but I got it… I'm sure someone else has probably already done this but I'm sooo bored. My mum's on the phone so I'm waiting 'til I can get on the net *sniff*

Anyway, I'm not actually a D/H writer but I thought this was the only couple who fit with this idea. Plus, my friend seems to love this couple and Draco. ;)

Anyway, just read it…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco slipped quietly from the Slytherin common room. He was so nervous. He had been for the past six months or so. To put an exact date to it, since he had begun dating Hermione Granger from Gryffindor.

Hermione was the epitome of everything that he was expected to not like. Her looks weren't startling until you saw her inner beauty. Her brains seemed to put plenty off of her. She was a 'goody-two-shoes' and was in Gryffindor while he was in Slytherin, the rival house. But above everything, she was Muggle-born, something that his father would kill him for liking.

But, as many say, opposites attract, and the two found themselves trying to resist urges that were insatiable. They tried to ignore the feelings but they were there, growing ever stronger until they could no longer resist and had been seeing each other ever since then.

Draco hid behind a statue, thinking he had heard someone coming. When he thought the coast was clear, he sighed a pent-up breath and scuttled quickly along the corridor, again stopping to check there was no one or nothing that would catch him.

His eyes darted furiously along, knowing he was already late for their meeting.

__

'Ah, stuff it!' he ran down the corridor and right into the Transfiguration room. He leant against the door frame and caught his breath, trying to steady himself in great gasps.

He turned around slowly after he heard a cough, hoping that he was in the right room.

He smiled when he saw who was behind him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione wrung her hands impatiently, waiting with every fibre of her being that he would turn up tonight. She knew what risks he ran, trying to get to the Transfiguration room. She had less to worry about. As a Prefect, she had the right to be out of bed at almost anytime of day.

__

'COME ON!' she thought furiously and began pacing, turning to look at the clock on the wall. Now she had learnt how to read the wizard clocks and realised that Draco was already ten minutes late.

She sighed and sat down, beginning to twiddle her thumbs, tapping her feet to some inaudible music. Then she heard a sound outside of the room. She jumped up and ran to the door.

She peered out through a crack in the door and her eyes ran over the outside of the room quickly, shutting the door quietly when she realised that there was no one there.

__

'What the hell's taking him so long?' she wondered, beginning to get worried. She turned around and stared out of the windows, looking down onto Hogwarts' grounds.

Then she heard another sound, but this time, right in the room. Her heart began to pound.

She quickly turned around and her eyes widened at who was there.

Draco was bent over, panting like there was no tomorrow and she coughed a little, wondering how long it would take for him to notice she was there.

He turned around almost immediately and grinned when he saw her. Despite why she had called him here, she grinned in return.

__

'How on earth am I going to do this?'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco strode towards her and embraced her tightly, burying his face into her mass of soft curls. He felt her breath on his neck and felt as though life couldn't get any better. It just felt so perfect when he was with her.

He pulled away from her reluctantly and stared at her. He was shocked when he saw her crying.

"'Moine! What's wrong, love?" he asked her, concerned.

__

Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by

She looked up at him, wishing that she could've held up the façade for longer than she did. But she knew how hurt he would be, how hurt she was, but she couldn't live and love the way she was. The way they were.

And it almost killed her, knowing that this would be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do. 

"Draco, darling…" she started, whispering. He bent down closer to her, making sure he caught every word she said.

"I… just… don't think… this is gonna work out."

He pulled back, horrified at what he heard. Then his face cracked into a smile.

"Ha! That's a good one, honey! You almost had me fooled!" he laughed but stopped abruptly when he saw her eyes.

He had always loved her eyes. At least ever since he saw them. They were cinnamon but with tiny flecks of gold, green and blue. What he loved most, though, was how he could always see her emotions.

And right now he was worried.

Her eyes told him she was not lying.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ha! That's a good one, honey! You almost had me fooled!"

__

'No… this is so much harder than I thought.'

She sighed, not believing that he could possibly think that she was joking. Then again, of course he didn't know how serious it was.

She knew it wasn't his fault. It was just an act that both had agreed to play. They were to continue seeing other people while they were secretly seeing each other.

However, Hermione had more to worry about. She had only ever been on a few dates, never having a steady boyfriend, and she was most definitely not known for being a serial dater.

Unfortunately, Draco was and, if he wanted to keep this relationship a secret, he'd have to keep dating random girls.

She knew it was not his fault, but it still hurt her, cut her deep down.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

__

She, Harry and Ron were walking away from the Great Hall, and, all of a sudden, they heard a muffled sound.

Being the three investigators they were, they decided that they should go see what was happening.

Draco was pressed up against a wall by a slutty brunette who was snogging his brains out. Her hands ran up down his body and, Hermione knew, what was underneath that shirt. 

And it pained her to watch him with another girl.

Draco opened his eyes and they widened when he saw Hermione standing there. It was as if the whole world has stopped, just because of the pain in her eyes.

He pushed the brunette away and stared venomously at them, but Hermione could tell he was dead worried that she was going to pull out a wand and curse him.

"What do you stupid gits want?" he sneered. She watched Ron ball up him fists but caught his hands.

"Leave him, alone, Ron." She glanced poisonously at him and she watched him flinch. "If he wants to catch the mumps, let him."

She stalked away and Draco stared after her for a total of about four seconds before he was pulled in for another round of kisses.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

__

Hermione shook her head, tears falling, as she tried to push that memory away. He had apologised profusely afterwards, saying that he didn't mean for it to happen and she accepted that.

But it still hurt.

__

I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend  


"Draco." She started and she looked up into his eyes. "I'm serious. We won't work."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stared at her, frozen. She had said it. She was serious.

He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and stared right into her eyes, searching desperately for some sign that she was just pulling his leg even more.

But it wasn't there so he decided to find out why she had said it.

And convince her that it would work.

"Herm, why won't it work?" he tried hard to cover it, but the desperate tone escaped.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

__

She sighed, wondering how she could tell him everything. How much it hurt her that her love life was a secret and, because of that, her social life was a lie.

"Draco, I just don't think we'll last. We don't have enough in common…" she lied lamely, wondering if she could escape with lies, but she could tell that he was not buying what she was saying and was definitely not amused.

"What does that matter, Herm?" he demanded to know and she could feel tears well up in the corner of her eyes.

"It does!" she said louder than intended and lowered her voice immediately. "How can you be with someone if you can't even talk about a topic without arguing over what side you should take?"

"How can you even think about leaving 'us' when you know I love you? Isn't love all that matters?"

"Draco." She glared and swallowed before she said simply, "There is no 'us'."

__

And I said,

Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He collapsed on the floor, staring into space. She sat down next to him and faced the wall. Silence reigned but it seemed to deafen her more than their arguments did.

This silence was painful.

And it was the end.

"How can you say that?" he whispered and she turned sharply towards him.

"How can I say what?" she inquired.

He looked her right in the eye.

"That there is no 'us'."

His blue/grey eyes burned holes right in her heart, just by looking at them. She had always thought they were beautiful, even when they hated each other. She hated how he was so cute but such a jerk.

I still get lost in your eyes  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right

"Officially, there never was."

"Huh?"

"I mean, we were never officially a couple…"

He glared at her. "What has that got to do with anything?"

She paused. It didn't really have to do with anything. It was just an excuse and she remained silent.

He nodded slowly. "So, do you really think we should break up?"

She faced him quickly and snapped, "Do you think I would be doing this now if I thought we shouldn't?"

He laughed softly. Then he stopped slowly. He gazed at her, hurt and longing in his eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you."

Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She nodded slowly, wishing that he had never said that. She was already going through a doubting period and could just as easily say that she had made a huge mistake and that she loved him, too.

Deep down, she knew he was right but she had always been stubborn and, most of the time, it cost her dearly.

It was costing her the world tonight and was internally already kicking herself. 

She had begun to say, 'I'm gonna miss you, too.' But he interrupted her.

"Do you remember the time that Filch almost cuaght us?" he laughed and she began to giggle, despite the situation.

"Do I ever." She grinned and tired to muffle her laughter.

He sighed deeply. "Ah, they were the good times."

She stared intently and felt her heart almost break in two. She knew what he meant and she felt so horrible, especially knowing that she didn't want it either. This was unfair on both of them.

And it was her fault.

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stood up and stretched. 

"Well, I'd better be going then." He stared at the floor, then at the door. "Nothing to stay here for."

He turned towards her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. He leant in slowly to kiss her on the cheek.

"Ummm…" he muttered and then looked up at her. "If you ever need me, or if you ever wanna get… you know… back together… I'm always here."

She nodded and kissed him back, slowly and gently on the lips.

"Good to know." She said simply.

Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco walked slowly back towards the Slytherin tower, thinking that there was nothing for him, either back where Hermione probably still stood, or in front of him, where reality would finally hit.

That he no longer had Hermione.

He climbed in through the wall and walked up the stairs towards his dorm.

He collapsed on the bed and slipped underneath the doona.

Then he began to cry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione stood rooted for almost five minutes after he left before she decided that she should get back to bed.

She climbed in through the portrait hole and stood, staring at the fireplace before heading up to her dorm.

She changed into her pyjamas and went to get a drink of water before going to sleep.

She stared up at the stars, wishing she could take tonight back.

But knowing that she couldn't.

Teardrops fell from her eyes and she turned and went to sleep.

__

And when the stars fall  
I will lie awake  
You're my shooting star

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: FINISHED! Hope you liked it… please R/R!


	2. Everywhere

**EVERYWHERE  
**

__

Disclaimer: I own the plot (I think), Michelle Branch owns the song and JKR owns all the other stuff.

A/N: Hey, everybody! *ahem* I did not get 15 reviews *evil glare* so all of you who actually wanted another chapter, I think you should thank a little thing called 'boredom' (and for those who didn't… well, you wouldn't be reading this right now, would you? So technically, I'm talking to no one… never mind me!!!).

Yes, well… anyway, I decided I could make a whole series out of this… which means that I have to change the title so, if/when you review, please give me some suggestions for another one.

Yes, so I'm going to make a whole series (unless I get quite a few people who say 'no' to one…) from before they were together to when they are actually together, then you can insert _Goodbye to You_ and then after the break-up. So it's a prequel and a sequel.

So, here's the first chapter. Oh, and I took _Princess Aiko_'s advice and I'm going to make it a series of songfics to Michelle Branch's album _The Spirit Room_. Very good album, you should all go out and buy it. If you really want some extra effects as well, you can listen to the songs while reading. But that's only if you want. You don't need to.

Right… now, without further babbling – Chapter 1 of the prequel: EVERYWHERE!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione settled down for breakfast next to Ron who was talking animatedly with Harry about, would you guess, Quidditch.

"… And then, out of nowhere, he came and grabbed the Quaffle!"

"NO WAY!!!! That's so _cool_!"

"Hell, yeah! It was terrific to watch…"

"Is Quidditch all you can _ever_ talk about?" Hermione interjected, frustrated. Ron's hands remained in the same position as when he was talking, chin hitting the floor. Harry's eyes were wide with shock.

"Oh, come _on_, guys!" he rolled her eyes and gave them and impatient look. "There are better things to talk about, for God's sake!"

"Fine!" Ron huffed and finally put his hands down. "Harry, Hermione, isn't the weather terrific today?"

"Uh…" Harry looked outside to see a large gust of wind and a grey sky. "Yes…"

"Fine!" Hermione huffed just as Ron had before. "Go on, talk about your bloody Quidditch!" she stood up and stalked out of the Great Hall, knowing that she was leaving Ron grinning in triumph and Harry with a moral dilemma, whether to follow her or stay with Ron and his favourite topic.

Then she heard the Great Hall door slam after her – someone was following her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco pushed his scrambled eggs across his plate, feeling oddly full. He looked up as Hermione came in and quickly stared back down again. He had felt differently about the Gryffindor trio lately. He despised Harry and Ron so much more than he thought he ever could. But when it came to Hermione, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she could be.

When she arrived at the Yule Ball with Krum, he couldn't help but notice how bright her eyes shone, how straight and white her teeth were and, as a result of that, how dazzling her smile was.

But he needed a reality check. There was no way in hell that he, a pure-blood Slytherin, could go out or even _think _about dating a Muggle-born Gryffindor. His father would murder him. He could always do worse, but Draco didn't even want to think about the possibilities.

He heard the door to the Great hall open and close with a bang. He looked up suddenly and noticed that, even though Hermione had only just entered, she had just as quickly disappeared.

Without even thinking about the consequences, he quickly got up and muttered, "I'm not hungry anymore," to no one in particular and followed her out of the Hall.

__

Turn it inside out so I can see  
The part of you that's drifting over me  
And when I wake you're never there  
But when I sleep you're everywhere  
You're everywhere

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione kept on walking, even though she was dying of curiosity of who was following her. She walked out onto the Hogwarts grounds and then, when her curiosity got the better of her turned around.

She could not believe her eyes when they fell on Draco Malfoy.

"Hey…" he greeted uncertainly.

"What the hell are you doing following me?" she shot back. She was shocked when he suddenly cast his eyes down.

"I…" he looked up again, right back into her eyes and continued, "I just wanted to know what was wrong with you."

"There is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with me, thank you very much." She answered then her eyes widened in realisation. "OH! That's it! You're pumping me for information about Harry aren't you?"

"NO!"

"Bull! I'm onto you, Malfoy!" she waggled her finger at him. "You are the dirtiest, slimiest _rat_ of them all!" she paused before she muttered to herself, "Well, excluding Wormtail…"

"Look, I swear, Granger, I'm not!"

She pouted at him, noticing that his grey eyes were sincere. She had always loved them, even when they were narrowing as he prepared to shoot some horrible insult at her. They seemed to always tell the truth, but, then again, she could never tell when he was lying.

She looked away from his eyes, towards his blonde hair, flying freely in the wind. Suddenly she noticed him grinning.

"What?" she asked.

"Just… you're taking a long time to say that I'm lying."

"Oh…" she trailed off. She couldn't think of anything to say and she hated that. She had always been a smart aleck and when she lost tongue, she went crazy.

Then again, he drove her crazy anyway.

She opened her mouth to make a comment after a few seconds pause but nothing came out. Draco laughed.

"Stuff it, Granger." He said calmly. "I'm not pumping you for information about Potty, and it seems as though you believe me, so we'll leave it at that." He walked away, leaving Hermione standing there, watching his back.

Leaving her feeling something she didn't want to feel.

Something she never thought she'd feel.

Something she hated to feel.

Something that she knew was wrong.

Something that she loved to feel.

__

Just tell me how I got this far  
Just tell me why you're here and who you are  
'Cause every time I look you're never there  
And every time I sleep you're always there

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione walked towards Potions class alone, avoiding Harry and Ron. She saw Harry make a few moves towards her but she simply turned away from him.

She went inside the dungeon, being the second person there. The person there before her was someone else she had been avoiding.

Malfoy.

"Why, hello again, Granger!" he greeted cheerily. "What a surpirse to see again so soon!"

"Shut up, Malfoy."

"My, where are your manners?" he tutted. "You should always greet someone if they greet you."

"Hmmm… you greeted me… but I don't seem to remember greeting you." She countered.

"Touchy!" he sat down and pulled out his equipment for the lesson and Hermione sat towards the back. 

Soon the room had filled up. She noticed Harry's eyes roving around the room, probably looking for her. She slipped down in her seat, hopefully out of his view. Then Snape yelled at everyone to sit down so he could start the lesson.

"Right, today, I'm going to pair you up with someone and you will complete a project together on a certain potion."

He began to pair them up and Hermione was not surprised when he paired Harry and Ron up together.

__

'Probably thinks they're going to fail…'

"Granger. Malfoy. Here. Now." He called. Draco stood and Hermione walked to the front of the room.

"You two will be working together as you are the best students in this class. I expect a certain standard for this project and it had better be reached. Otherwise, _both_ of you will be in trouble."

__

'Great, just what I need. Time with Malfoy…' Hermione thought to herself. And judging form the look on Draco's face, he wasn't any happier with the arrangements.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

__

'Great… just what I need. More Granger!'

Draco was feeling exactly the same as Hermione – pissed at Snape for pairing them up. Draco didn't know how much longer he could suppress his feelings for her. He had been doing so since the Yule Ball. Maybe even before that subconsciously.

But there was absolutely nothing he or she could do about. Snape was one teacher not to be argued with and, really, he felt as if he shouldn't.

He thought that maybe, just maybe, he was in with a chance with Hermione Granger.

And next to him, Hermione felt as if she was in with a chance with him.

__

'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see  
You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone  
I'm not alone

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ron and Harry had finally apologised to Hermione and she accepted it with no problems. She had more important things on her mind.

"Herm… you OK?" Harry asked while Ron looked at her, concerned.

"Yeah… just… thinking about this Potions project… with Malfoy." She groaned.

"Oh, yeah…" Ron looked at Harry. "Maybe we should actually pick a potion, eh?"

"Yeah…" Harry sounded bored but stood up. "Hey, Herm, you coming? It's your regular hangout!"

"Huh?" she looked up confused.

"The library." Ron explained to her as if she were a three-year-old.

"Oh, yeah, sure!" she stood up quickly. "Let's go."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione walked up and down the library aisles, picking up a book every now and again and stared at the cover. Then she heard someone coughing behind her.

"I knew I'd find you here." 

I recognize the way you make me feel  
It's hard to think that you might not be real  
I sense it now, the water's getting deep  
I try to wash the pain away from me  
Away from me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco leaned against the shelf and grinned.

Hermione stared at him. "Did you really?"

"Hell yeah. This is, like, your hangout!"

"That's… what Harry and Ron said."

"Well, it's true, isn't it?"

She turned away from him but turned back. "What potion are we going to do for this project? And when are we going to meet to do it?"

"I was thinking… Polyjuice Potion. I find it interesting to take the form of someone else. I'd think you would know about it as well."

Her eyes widened in fear. "Why would I know more about it?" she asked. If he knew about their second year, she, Harry and Ron would be expelled if he dobbed. Which, of course, he would.

"Well, 'cos Potter was involved with that Crouch guy… and he used it and I figured he would've told you… but I guess I was wrong…" he explained nervously. She relaxed visibly. 

"No, I think it'd be great, too."

He stared at her I disbelief. "Really?"

She smiled. "Yeah."

'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see  
You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone  
I'm not alone

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione sat down at a desk in the Transfiguration room. She had asked McGonagall for permission to use the room for their project and, obviously, she had agreed.

Draco walked in and set his things down before turning around and closing the door.

"Hey." He greeted breathlessly. "I had to run from the common room so I wouldn't be late."

"Great!" she grinned. "And I can see you brought some stuff with you."

"Yeah…" he stopped and tilted his head, staring at her.

"What?" she asked, gathering some of the notes they had.

"Just… we're being so civil to each other."

"Yeah, can't believe it myself." She laughed and reached for some yellow parchment near Draco.

"Oh, I'll get that for you." He offered, but she wasn't listening.

And when there hands met, it sent shocks through the both of them.

__

And when I touch your hand  
It's then I understand  
The beauty that's within  
It's now that we begin  
You always light my way  
I hope there never comes a day  
No matter where I go  
I always feel you so

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well…"

"Yeah…"

"Sorry!"

They were both practically speechless and spent the rest of the night silently working, only speaking when they had to.

Hermione was kicking herself all the while, knowing that if she actually spoke to him, she'd have a better chance of dating him. And, of course, he must think that she didn't deserve to be in Gryffindor. She couldn't even summon the courage to talk to him.

Draco stared at her, wondering what on earth she must think of him now, a stuttering Slytherin idiot who can't even come up with some topic to talk about.

"Well." She sighed, wringing her hand and scowling in pain from her writing cramps. "I think that'll do us for tonight."

"OK then." Draco began to pack up his things and Hermione just sat and watched him. Then she gathered herself and began to pack up as well.

Just as they were about to both leave, Draco turned to her.

"Er… Granger?" she turned swiftly.

"Yeah?"

"Let's, uh, just… forget, before. It never happened, right?"

"… Yeah…"

__

'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see  
You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione got to her common room and collapsed on the bed, wondering how on earth she made that night such a disaster. It didn't take her long to come up with an answer.

She should've listened to Draco when he said he'd pick up the parchment.

__

'I'll make it up. I'll make it so everything goes right the next time we're together and he can't fault me. THEN I'll make a move!'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco went to the Slytherin common room, physically and mentally kicking himself.

There was no way she would go out with him.

Not after tonight's performance.

And definitely not after that note he left her.

Why was he such a naïve fool?

__

  
'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I catch my breath it's you I breathe  
You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione sat down the next morning to pack her bag. She pulled out the work she and Draco did last night and watched as a scrap of parchment fell out.

He slowly picked it up and read it:

'You're in everyone I see  
So tell me  
Do you see me?'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: OK, that'll do you (I hope!) for now. By the way, in case you didn't know, 'you're in everyone I see…' is the letter Draco wrote, what Hermione read and the last bit of _Everywhere_. Pleas R/R! Lots of reviews will make me write faster. If I get fifteen within Sunday (it's Thursday today) I'll upload then. Otherwise, next week! XD


	3. Sweet Misery

****

SWEET MISERY

Disclaimer: the song belongs to Michelle Branch, characters belong to JKR and the plot belongs to me.

A/N: I'm really sorry!! I tried to get this up, but FF.N is stuffed and I can't upload anything (no one can) until June 21st so… yeah…

I'm also really sorry about the whole '15 reviews' thing but I have a few fanfics going at once and I'd like to see who's reading which most so that'll have first priority. 

So… this chapter is a little suss but it's pretty important so you can't skip it! Mwahahahahahaha!!! XD

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione went through the next day in a daze. She thought she had imagined that note that night but every day, she went just to make sure it was real.

And she was happy when she confirmed it was real.

There was only one person who could've given her that note. And it was the one person that she wanted it to be.

Draco Malfoy. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco was still mentally kicking himself for being such a fool. The chances of her finding the note were high. He put it in a place where the only person who could've put it there was him.

And then the chances that she would accept the note were so slim. He could see in his head her running to Potter and Weasley, a wide grin on her face.

__

"Look at this, guys! Malfoy is in love with me!" she would crow and Draco cursed angrily at the thought.

He would prefer if she kept it to herself and burned it.

At the same time breaking his heart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Argh!" Hermione cried when her books fell out of her bag for the third time that day. She hated her timetable, even though she put on a mask that she was totally happy. She pretended she was happy to spite Ron.

"Need some help?"

Draco Malfoy stood behind her, his eyes showing a little fear and reserve. She figured that he was just embarrassed about the note. To prove that she was fine with it, she grinned and whispered, "Thanks."

She watched his body as it visibly relaxed. He bent down and helped her pick up all her books and placed them carefully back into her bag.

She thanked him again and watched as his body tensed up.

"Uh… you didn't… happen to… to find a note in your bag, did you?" he asked nervously.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

__

'Crap! she found it… and she didn't like it…' he thought angrily, watching her face as she cast her eyes downwards.

"Yeah… I did actually." She whispered, still not meeting his eyes.

"Uh… well… you didn't, erm… you know…" he stuttered. How could she make him feel like this?

"Know who it was from?" she suggested.

"Well…" he fumbled with his collar and she found it cute how he didn't meet her eyes. "Yeah…"

"Actually… I did." She nodded and watched his reaction slowly.

Never before had she seen Draco Malfoy so damn nervous.

She was glad that she could do this to him.

"Oh." He said simply. "Well… who was it?"

She laughed but stopped quickly as she watched him blink painfully.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

I was lost  
And you were found  
You seemed to stand on solid ground

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

__

'Ah, dear… she knows, she knows! Maybe… if I pretend I DIDN'T send it… then it'll all be fine… yeah… no, that won't do… the only person who could've possibly put it in her bag at that time was ME. Damn it… why did I have to be so freaking stupid?'

While Draco was going through this debate in his mind, Hermione stood there, waiting anxiously for his answer.

__

'Maybe he didn't send it… and he's trying to be nice and let me down easily… but the only person who could've sent it was him… maybe Ron's trying to pull a prank on me! What a jerk…'

To anyone who was watching this couple from afar, it would appear that they were simply standing in front of one another, lost in their own thoughts. But in all honesty, things couldn't get more complex.

Finally, Draco broke the silence, pulling Hermione out of her reverie.

"Yeah, I sent it. Well, gave it… I mean…"

She stepped closer to him and shushed him when she placed one of her fingers softly to his lips.

They were suddenly interrupted when Ron and Harry barged around the corner.

"Hey, Herm!" Harry greeted cheerfully. Normally, Hermione would be extremely happy since Harry had been under a dark cloud since the Triwizard Tournament the year before. But right now, all she could think about was Draco and the note. 

Then she realised her finger was still pressed against his lips and quickly pulled it away, shooting Draco a dirty yet apologetic look.

"Herm…" Ron began and she knew what was coming so she quickly said, "Tonight, Transfiguration room." And stalked away.

Draco stood mesmerised and Harry and Ron stood frozen in shock before quickly regaining their senses and following her towards their classroom, leaving Draco standing alone.

A grin slowly crept up on his face and he quickly turned to leave.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione walked quickly away from the scene of the 'crime' and when Harry and Ron finally caught up to her and looked set to let a few questions loose, she decided to avoid the subject by making a statement.

"I was just telling him about the Potions assignment and that's all, OK? No more questions."

"But…" Ron was cut off by an angry glare from Hermione and a warning one from Harry. "Fine." he muttered.

A while later, as they were settling into the dungeons for another Potions lesson, Hermione quickly swept her eyes across the room until they finally lay on Draco.

They quickly smiled at each other but Hermione was pulled away by a panicking Ron who had not completed his homework and Draco by an adoring Pansy.

Snape entered then, booming at them that he was going to check everyone's homework had been completed, much to Ron's dismay, and that after that, they were to work on their projects, much to Hermione and Draco's delight.

Soon, they were both seated at a desk, working quietly, barely talking to one another. Snape came to check on them a few times but they hardly noticed him.

They seemed to be lost in their thoughts.

While Hermione was thinking, _'How can he do this to me?'_, Draco was thinking, _'Why does she make me feel this way?'_

__

I was weak  
And you were strong  
And me and my guitar, we strummed along, oh 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Sorry, I'm late!" Hermione rushed in. She was too busy arguing with Ron, she completely forgot she had a meeting with Draco until Harry gently interrupted their arguing to remind her.

"S'okay." She mumbled, barely looking up. He wasn't angry at her, he was simply absorbed in the Polyjuice Potion. He found it so amazing to pretend to be someone else.

"Well, I found out about some interesting side effects." She announced as she sat down.

"Terrific!" he exclaimed.

They spoke about the assignment for a while but soon lapsed into silence. Draco finally spoke up.

"So… erm… about the… the letter…" she started and Hermione looked up in shock. She didn't think he'd want to bring it up, considering how uncomfortable he was with it.

"What about it?" she asked curiously.

"Just… does it… mean anything to you?"

She paused before she replied slowly. "I… I think it means you feel about me how I feel about you."

He stared at her in disbelief. His hands immediately went to his ears and he began to rub them vigorously which made Hermione giggle.

"Come again, please." His eyes begged her to say what he wanted her to.

"What we can have… we both know, it's so forbidden, but it's so right… and uncontrollable." She looked up to see him grinning. He finished her thought.

"It could make us so happy… and yet, so miserable." He finished and they both smiled at each other.

They didn't say another word to each other the rest of the night. 

They didn't need to. 

They knew what each was thinking.

Sweet misery you cause me  
That's what you called me  
Sweet misery you cause me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco went back to the Slytherin common room as if on Cloud Nine. He could never have thought that Hermione Granger would fall for him. He who had treated her badly basically from day one.

He was glad that he wrote that note now. If not, they probably would never have confessed their feelings for one another.

There was now only a few things he had to worry about.

Reactions from his friends and hers.

Her actual feelings.

And the one thing he dreaded most in the world.

His father.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione did not go back to the Gryffindor Tower, however. She could not face Harry and Ron. If she ever told them _anything_ about her feelings now, they would personally never speak to her again.

And she did not want that.

She meandered along the corridors, turning around when she saw a teacher or Filch until she ended up at the Astronomy Tower.

She stared down at the grounds. They were a lush green, the lake rippling gently as the squid danced in the water.

But Hermione did not register any of this.

She physically saw but mentally did not take in. (A/N: Just so you get the gist, like, _she heard but didn't listen_. Yah?)

Al she could see was Draco Malfoy face floating around and comments from those who would disapprove of their 'romance'.

But she could no longer care anymore. She knew that soon he would become her rock, the one she could depend on, the one that she could open up to.

And she knew that she desperately needed that in her life.

She did not go back to the Tower that night.

__

I was blind  
But, oh, how you could see  
You saw the beauty in everything, everything and me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione moaned when she woke up the next morning. Her neck was cramped up painfully and she winced in pain. She got up slowly, taking a while to recognise her surroundings and then shuffling back towards the Tower.

When she stepped out of her dormitory, she looked fine. At least fine enough so that no one would question her about where she had been and what she had been doing that night.

She stumbled down the stairs, glad it was a weekend so that she could catch up some sleep. She flopped onto the couch that the trio usually hung around and rested her head onto the armrest.

"Hey, Herm." She heard from behind and turned around to see Harry settling himself down next to her.

"Hey, Harry." She murmured and yawned loudly. "Man, I'm so sleepy."

Harry looked at her worriedly. "Are you sick? Do you want me to go get you some breakfast?"

She smiled shortly before yawning again. "Thanks for your concern. Could you get me some toast? I'm so dead…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey, Potter!"

Harry spun around, facing Draco. "Yeah? What, Malfoy?" he asked coldly.

"Just… can you ask Herm… I mean, Granger if she can meet again at the Transfiguration room tonight? For our project?"

"Yeah, sure. But she's really tired, so don't be surprised if she can't make it." Harry explained.

"OK, thanks, Potter." Draco turned and left.

Harry stared at his back for a few seconds, wondering why he almost called her Hermione but could not come up with another explanation except that during their working on the project, they had become friends.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione stepped into the classroom that night having recovered a little sleep during the day. But she knew that Draco did not want to discuss the project so she didn't bring any of her books with her.

Draco simply looked up as she entered but didn't even mutter a 'hello' and Hermione felt a little hurt.

"Aren't you even going to say 'hello'?" she asked, disappointed.

He glanced at her again and she felt her heart do a little somersault, as well as her stomach.

Something wasn't right.

Her fears were confirmed when he quietly whispered, "I can't be with you."

__

'No… no… no…' she thought in her head, the same word running around and around.

"No…" she whispered aloud. He stood up and walked towards her slowly, arms outstretched.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, right you are!" she shouted angrily. "If you were, you wouldn't have given me that letter! If you were, you wouldn't have led me on!" then she began to whisper. "If you were, you wouldn't be doing this right now."

"You don't understand!" he argued. She looked up, her eyes piercing into his.

"Try me!"

"My… my father… he wouldn't understand…" she muttered and began pacing, knowing she was watching every move he took. He looked towards her. "He doesn't even love my mother. He doesn't _know_ what love is…"

"Do you?" she interrupted and he raised his eyebrows.

"What?" she stood up and walked towards him.

"Do you know what love is?" she whispered in his ear.

He looked towards the ground. "No…" he jerked his head up suddenly, his eyes burning into hers. "But I know you can show me. I know I can love you."

She grinned shyly. "I know I can love you, too."

__

I would cry  
And you would smile  
You'd stay with me a little while 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They sat in the classroom talking into the late hours. Draco found her background so interesting. He had never been allowed to associate himself with Muggles or Muggle-borns before and when he heard about how they lived, what they did, he was mesmerised, amazed.

Hermione only knew a little bit about the wizarding world and how the people dealt with issues. Draco explained all of it to her, but there was one thing she knew he wasn't telling her about.

His family.

They grew up in the same kind of family – mum, dad, child. She had told him about how her parents were protective of her and a few anecdotes of her childhood but not once had he mentioned anything about his.

"Draco…" she started and he nodded for her to continue. "How come you never tell me anything about your childhood?"

"I have, too." He countered defensively. "I told you about my broomstick ride and my-"

"Yeah, but not about your family." She explained more. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted saying them. He cast his grey eyes down and slumped his shoulders.

"I… I don't want to…" he defended feebly. Hermione reached out and took him by the shoulder.

"You can trust me."

"I know…" he muttered. "It's just… it's not a very pleasant topic. It's really…" he trailed off. Then he suddenly got up. "I'm gonna go now." He stated and turned to leave.

"No, please. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to." Hermione stood up quickly and grabbed his shoulder again. He shook her hand off.

"I'm tired." He finished lamely and walked out of the classroom.

Hermione kicked the skirting board and cursed softly.

The one time that she got to know Draco Malfoy really well and she had blown it.

Badly.

__

Sweet misery you cause me  
That's what you called me  
Sweet misery you cause me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione sat in front of the fire, watching as the flames slicked across her eyes. She knew she had to apologise the next time she saw him alone. She knew that there was a reason that he wasn't telling her anything. That was common logic. And then, of course, he had always dropped hints.

He never seemed very attached to his father and when he told her that he never loved his mother, that must've been a hint to let the subject lie.

But, no. She had to be a stupid ditz and bring up the topic, even try to force him to talk.

She stayed in the common room and fell asleep on the couch, dreaming about life with and without Draco Malfoy by her side.

__

And in my heart I see, oh  
What you're doing to me  
And in my heart I see, oh  
Just how you wanted it to be

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stomped towards the Slytherin common room after leaving Hermione behind in the classroom.

Who did she think she was, asking about something that was obviously painful for him to talk about?

Still, he felt minutely guilty about his attitude toward it. She didn't know what life was like at the Malfoy Manor, otherwise she, most definitely, would not have asked.

And if she did… well, she would be out of his life in a flash.

When he entered the common room, he was glad to see that he was so late coming back that the room was empty.

He ran to his dorm, grabbed a book and settled by the fire downstairs.

He could not concentrate however. His thoughts were focused on Hermione.

He now knew that there was something special about her.

Something that he couldn't let go.

He fell asleep with a smile.

__

Sweet misery you cause me  
That's what you called me  
Sweet misery you cause me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione rushed to the Great Hall the next day, hoping with every fibre of her being that she had not yet missed Draco.

She stood outside the Hall for around half an hour before she finally gave up. The flood of people had come and gone. No one would come to breakfast this late.

Except Draco Malfoy.

She ran up to him, scaring him so much that he shouted in surprise.

"AH!"

"Oh, my God!" she shouted. "I'm so sorry!" she quickly looked around, relieved that there was no one watching. She turned back to Draco who was leaning against a wall, trying to catch his breath.

"S'okay." he panted.

"Look, I just wanted to apologise about last night. I had no right, whatsoever, to pry into your family life. If you don't want to tell me, I'm not going to force you to." She said very quickly.

He smiled lightly. "Thanks. Glad to hear it. Just… I might tell you one day. Just not yet." They both paused and the silence was thick.

"You had breakfast yet?" he blurted out.

"Nope, just been waiting for you to show up." She answered cheerily.

"Great! Not that we can sit together, but it'd be nice to see you there."

He offered her his arm, which she took gratefully but they separated before they entered the Hall, both much happier than they had been before.

__

And in my heart I see, oh  
What you're doing to me  
And in my heart I see, oh  
Just how you wanted it to be

Sweet misery 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once again, they were working on their project, but now they were almost done. They had worked well together, finishing it almost a month before the due date.

Draco leaned back against his chair. "Finished!" she threw his hands up in triumph, making Hermione laugh.

"Thank God for that!" she added.

"Now, we can relax, yes, Miss. Granger?"

She grinned. "Sure thing!"

The rest of the night they spent catching up again.

And it seemed they had their whole lives to do it.

Hermione was glad for that. She knew now that she had found her rock in life.

__

I was weak  
And you were strong  
And me and my guitar, we strummed along

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Whoa! Long chapter! Do you have any idea how long it took me to write this? I'm sorry if it's a little repetitive but I just wanted to get it out of the way. PLEASE R/R! I'll upload as soon as I write another chappie!


	4. All You Wanted

****

ALL YOU WANTED  


A/N: I'm really sorry about the whole delay thing… I did go to Vietnam and Cambodia (and Singapore for one day, but that doesn't really count) and it was… OK *cough*. A bit too dirty for me but it just made me realise how lucky I am…

Anyway, I had no idea which song to do, so I decided on the long awaited… *drum roll* ALL YOU WANTED! Course, you could see that from the title… but anyway…

Oh, and I want to apologise about the whole _Gypsy_ title thing… if you guys want me to change it, I will…

But title or… some other title, this is All You Wanted!

****

Disclaimer: OK, one of my friends advised me to have fun with the disclaimer… how much fun can you have with this thing??? Anyhoo, I'm sure everybody knows that none of this belongs to me. _All You Wanted_ belongs to the extremely talented Michelle Branch and the characters and stuff belong to J.K. Rowling. How rich is she? Man, I wish I had money… lots and lots of it. XD!

~*~

__

Draco sat down in the common room, finishing his Potions homework, when his eye owl Shari flew in through the window and dropped a letter on his parchment. Draco stroked the pet fondly as he opened the letter. Shari flew out through the open window, most likely to the Owlery.

He read his name on the front, obviously scrawled in a hurry. He stared at the letters curiously, wondering whom on earth it was from, and then it hit him.

Lucius.

Draco groaned, wondering what _this_ letter contained. The last few letters had obviously proved a point to Draco. His father only ever wrote to him when he was caught up in some horrible let's-kill-Harry-Potter-to-avenge-our-Lord scheme or to deliver bad news to him.

Draco was absolutely shocked when _this_ letter contained a little bit of both.

__

To Draco,

Now, my son, you should know very well by now that on the very rare occasion that I ever put quill to parchment to take the time out of my busy schedule to write you a letter, is when I need you to do something for me. And, yes, this would be no exception.

I recently attended a Death Eaters' meeting with our Lord and discussed Mr. Potter, finally reaching a conclusion that a brilliant scheme that we thought up would be terrific to kill him. (Draco groaned. "What's new?" he muttered.)

__

Now, I shall not mention anything at all about this scheme in this letter as I find letter a rather unreliable way to deliver such important news. I shall arrive at Hogwarts next Monday to discuss with you our little 'arrangement'.

Lucius.

Typical. Cold, brief, to the point. Just like Lucius himself. Draco folded the letter and neatly put it in his Potions book.

He stared into space, not only wondering what on earth this crazy scheme was, but what he was supposed to do about Hermione. He knew he was falling madly in love with her and he knew that whatever this scheme was, if she ever found out about it, if she ever found out he was involved, she would hate him forever.

And he wasn't going to stand there and let that happen.

~*~

"Please join with your assigned partner and continue with your assignment."

Yes, they were in Potions on a beautiful Monday afternoon. But Draco didn't think it was beautiful at all.

He was sitting across from the girl of his dreams and he was unable to tell her anything about what was about to take place tomorrow morning.

"Draco, are you OK?"

Draco snapped out of his depressing thoughts and stared right at her. His eyes were wide with shock of being pulled out of his reverie but soon they returned to normal.

"Course." He replied with forced enthusiasm. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"Just…" she stopped, biting her lip as though she was sifting through her brain for an answer. "You seem quiet and distracted." She finished finally.

"Oh." Was all he could say. She read him pretty well for someone who barely knew him. What she said next, however, sent Draco's heart into a frenzy.

"You know," she whispered. "When we were talking the other night, I realised that I was the one doing all the talking. I mean, I told you about how my family spends our summer… and I realised that I barely knew anything about your family."

Draco's heart rate doubled, he could imagine the beads of sweat forming at his temples and his eyes growing wide once again.

What on earth was he supposed to say to her? How his mother and father argued day and night? How his father beat the crap out of him and his mother? About his father's conniving little plans to kill her best friend?

"Oh, there's nothing interesting about my family." He finally replied but, unfortunately for him, his voice was shaky, reinforcing the fact that he was doing a major lying job. 

"Draco, you know you can tell me…" she said gently and quietly.

"I know… it's just… You wouldn't understand."

The bell went signaling the end of class and Draco was in such a rush to get away from Hermione, he simply grabbed his bag and rushed from the dungeons.

Hermione stared at his retreating figure, her heart sinking lower and lower. She began to gather up her things when she realised that Draco had left his book behind. She picked it up and was about to put it in her bag, when a slip of parchment fell out of the book.

She picked it up, wondering whether she should read it or just leave it be. Her curiosity got the better of her and she turned it over. Draco's name was written on the front and she opened it, a wave of trepidation crashing over her. Once she had finished the letter, she knew why. 

I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away

~*~

Draco dropped his bag on the floor and flopped onto his bed. He was just about to drift off to sleep when Pansy came in.

"Dracie!" she screeched and Draco got up like a shot. "Mudblood gave me this outside. I wonder how the hell she found out where our common room was…"

She dropped a book onto the end of his bed and, after throwing him a 'seductive' _(A/N: *cough*)_ look, left the room.

Draco grabbed the book. 'Mudblood' was evidently Hermione. He saw the cover of the book.

__

Magical Drafts and Potions.

Draco panicked. He flipped to the page where he had kept his father's letter but there was a slight change.

One other tiny piece of parchment was stuck in the middle of the letter and it read: _Did you want me to come? I can borrow Harry's Invisibility Cloak._

Draco's heart seemed to stop with fear and realisation.

Hermione had read his letter.

~*~

Draco rushed to the Great Hall, clutching both Lucius' and Hermione's letters. Fury made him walk even faster than usual. Finally he found her.

He tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around, the grin on her face fading when she saw the angry look on his. He grabbed her arm, making her cry in pain and shoved her into an empty room, slamming the door behind him.

His cold grey eyes flashed angry as he threw the letters towards her feet.

"What is the meaning of your little 'note'?" he muttered through gritted teeth.

"I thought you'd like a little support, that's all…" she whispered.

"Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called 'privacy'? You barely know me so stop trying to butt into my life!"

She stood quickly, her eyes shining with tears but narrowed in anger. "Well, if you weren't so secretive and _told_ me a few things about you, or even if you took all of your belongings with you when you leave a classroom, I wouldn't _have_ to go 'snooping', would I?" she shouted defensively.

"I have a right not to tell you if I don't want to, but you have _no _right, whatsoever, to go snooping around my stuff!" he shouted just as loudly.

"Draco…" she suddenly whispered gently. "I just don't think your father is a very good man to be around… I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I'm a big boy." He snapped. "I can look after myself." With that, he turned and left the room. Hermione picked up the letter from the floor.

"I'm not so sure about that, Draco." She whispered.

__

I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes I'd take you away 

~*~

Draco sat during breakfast, twiddling his thumbs. He hadn't eaten a thing. He had, instead, shoved his breakfast towards Crabbe and Goyle who both attacked the plate as if they were a pair of lions attacking the last antelope in the world.

"Draco." Someone called and he turned towards the entrance to the Hall.

Sure enough, Lucius was striding towards him, black robes billowing behind him. Draco watched his father walk briskly towards him. Time seemed to pass achingly slow, as if the earth had suddenly decided to go for a coffee break and head off its eternal shift of orbiting the Sun.

Finally, Lucius stood right next to Draco and he motioned towards the door. Draco slowly stood and followed his father out of the Hall.

He was so focused on his father that he didn't realise that Hermione was following them.

~*~

It seemed as though the whole Hall was frozen as Lucius walked through the door and into the Great Hall. Hermione watched as Harry and Ron both seemed to be restraining each other, how Professor McGonagall suddenly turned to whisper furiously to Professor Dumbledore and how Professor Flitwick fainted with, what appeared to be, shock.

But she only thought she noticed these things.

She was too busy staring at Draco. He seemed to appear nonchalant, but Hermione knew that, deep inside, he was probably cowering, that his grey eyes were probably narrowing in fear.

Deep down, Hermione was scared for him, but she needed to look like she didn't care.

Lucius reached Draco and he got up and followed him out of the Hall. As soon as they were out of the room, the Hall seemed to thaw and conversations continued. Harry and Ron were whispering among themselves, no doubt about Lucius, so Hermione didn't even bother excusing herself.

She just slipped the Invisibility Cloak on and followed them out of the Hall.

~*~

Draco scuffed his shoes as he tagged slowly behind his father towards some empty room. He had no idea what his father's plan was or what he would have to do, but he knew that, no matter what, he was going to lose Hermione.

__

'That is, if you haven't already lost her.' He thought miserably.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, they reached an empty classroom. Lucius waited for Draco to sit down before he closed the door.

"Now, Draco…" he started but Draco suddenly felt the urge to stand up for what he believed in. He hated Harry, but he wanted no part in his death. He wanted that left to his father.

"Look, Dad, I don't want any part in this killing Har… Potter scheme. I don't want to be a murderer."

Lucius seemed frozen and stared at his son directly in the eye. Draco realised then how powerful eyes could be. He inherited his eyes from his father and he had always felt a sense of power emanating from them, and, of course, the sincerity in Hermione's gaze. No matter how far apart they drifted away, he would never forget it.

Then Lucius broke their glaring competition by shaking his head.

"Your mind's set on this… rebellion?" he asked slowly. Draco nodded and Lucius sighed. "We've been through this before Draco. You know what I must do. I need you to work with me. I don't ask you for things very often…"

"Bull!" Draco cut in. "You're always asking me for top grades, to deliver messages to your accomplices…"

"But all for your future!" Lucius cried defensively. He took one, large step towards Draco, who took a step back, and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Everything I ask for you to do, is all for you. Your future, your _destiny_."

"_I_ control my destiny, Dad! Not you, not Mum, no one but _me_. And I've never had control of my life. Everything always goes _your_ way. Whatever you want, you get!"

Lucius' eyes narrowed as he spoke and Draco knew he was just digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole.

"Is that what you really think?" he whispered dangerously. Draco wasn't even given the chance to reply before he was thrown against the wall.

His father had pulled out his wand and had it pointed directly at Draco. Lucius muttered something and Draco suddenly felt a pulling at his throat. He tried to yell at his father but no sound escaped.

Lucius had removed his voice.

Suddenly, Draco heard the door being opened. Both he and Lucius turned around but couldn't see anyone. Lucius turned back to Draco, a malicious glint in his eyes.

Then Lucius fell to the floor.

Draco pushed himself right into the wall, as though afraid he was going to catch whatever his father had, but then saw his wand being pulled from his hand. Draco followed the wand, mesmerised.

Then Hermione appeared.

Draco's eyes widened in fear as Hermione turned towards him, wand pointed. He _knew_ he shouldn't have yelled at her. Now she was going to kill him. He got up and ran.

"Draco! STOP!" she called, but he didn't. fear gave him and extra push, but suddenly he tripped. At that very moment, Hermione jumped on him and they fell to the ground with a crash.

Draco writhed furiously on the floor, mouth open but no sound came out. Hermione pointed the wand at him again.

"_Finite Incatatem_." She said calmly and Draco felt his throat relax as his voice came back.

He lay on the floor, massaging his throat as Hermione got up and walked towards Lucius who was pulling himself up from the floor.

"Come on, Mudblood." He snarled. "Give me back my wand."

Hermione laughed. "I may be Muggle-born, but I'm not stupid."

Lucius dove for her. She jumped out of the way and ran for the other side of the room. Lucius landed on his stomach and he cried out in pain. He staggered up and glared at her.

"Are you trying to make _me_ look stupid?" he asked angrily.

"Don't need any help from me, Sir." She replied cheerfully.

"That's right!" he shot back and he turned bright red when he realised what he had said.

He looked down at Draco and muttered, "You will pay for this." Then he turned to Hermione. "You. You will pay!" he shouted and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Hermione walked over to Draco and held out her hand to help him up.

"We need to talk." She said seriously.

~*~

"So… what did you want to talk about?" Draco asked nonchalantly. Hermione glared at him.

"I think we both know what we need to talk about." She replied sternly.

"Fine." He sighed.

"Tell me about your family." She suggested.

"I… it's hard to explain." He muttered, then he looked at Hermione. "I've never felt close to my father. I mean, with all the time I spent with my mother, you'd think that I'd be gay or something… but I'm not!

"It's just, ever since I was born, my father's been hard on me. People seem to think I'm a spoiled brat… and I am… but I've lived a harder life than everyone thinks I have. Sure, I have all the house elves, the money, but I never had anyone to talk to. My father kept me apart from people who I _could_ talk to and anytime that I tried to venture closer to them… he… he…"

"He what?" she prodded gently.

"I don't want to talk about it." He whispered.

"He hit you?" she suggested and nodded. "See? That's exactly why I wanted to come with you. And it almost happened, too. He's a dangerous man nd you have to watch out for yourself."

"I know."

Hermione could tell he was dejected so she pulled him up and led him to the Great Hall.

"It's about time we ate, don't you think?" she winked and she walked in before he did.

Draco stood, alone, outside of the door and watched as Hermione sat down next to Harry and Ron. He had thought about it before, but now he was sure.

They both cared deeply for each other and that was worth everything to Draco.

__

If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cares 

~*~

Hermione waved goodbye to Harry and Ron as they left to go play Quidditch after Potions on Friday. She slowly packed her bag, wondering whether she should actually go to dinner or not. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door to the dungeon slam.

She looked up immediately and her eyes widened in fear when she saw Lucius Malfoy standing right there. Her mouth hung open but she couldn't scream.

"Hello, _Hermione_." He spat out. "What a _pleasure_ to see you."

"What do you want?" she asked. Her eyes grew even wider as he pulled out a wand.

"Oh, I just wanted you and _Draco_ to pay for what you did to me on Monday." He answered as though this was the most natural thing in the world. He walked closer and closer towards her until she was backed up against the cold stone wall, cowering in fear.

"Let's just wait for dear old Draco, shall we?" he hissed. "Meanwhile, let's have a little fun."

Hermione screamed.

~*~

Draco sat watching the fire in the Slytherin common room when Crabbe came up and tapped him on the shoulder. His mouth was too full of chocolate cake to talk so he just handed Draco a letter and walked away.

Draco opened it quickly and read its contents hurriedly. He gasped, threw the letter into the fire, picked up his wand and ran out.

He rushed down the corridors, running as fast as possible towards the Potions dungeons, panic pushing him faster and faster.

After what seemed like forever, he finally came to the dungeon room and kicked open the door.

Hermione was folded up in the corner of the room. She had been cut and bruised badly and she was crying helplessly.

Lucius turned towards his son and grinned sadistically.

"Why, hello, son." he smiled. "I've just been getting better acquainted with this Mudblood here." He paused and walked slowly towards Draco, then circled around him.

"You know, I don't know you particularly well, do I? Perhaps I should get to know you well, too."

Sheer, blind panic spread through him. He knew that as badly bashed as Hermione looked right now, he also knew that Lucius had gone easy on her.

He could tell, from the look on his father's face, he was not going to go easy on him.

Draco thought desperately, wondering how he was going to get him and Hermione out of this predicament, hopefully alive.

Then he remembered he had brought his wand.

"_STUPEFY_!" he yelled and pointed his wand directly at his father's heart. Lucius went flying across the room and knocked his head on the stone wall, leaving him unconscious.

Draco made a beeline for Hermione who was still crying hard.

"Herm…" he whispered. "We have to get you to the Hospital Wing."

"Draco…" she murmured. "It hurts…"

"I know." He said simply and picked her up and took her to the Hospital Wing.

I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone 

~*~

Hermione stirred awake the next morning. White light poured in before she even opened her eyes and she groaned in pain. She heard furious whispering beside.

"Shut up!" 

"You shut up!"

"No, _you_ shut up!"

"For crying out loud, both of you shut up!"

"Why don't all of us shut up?"

Silence.

Hermione opened her eyes slowly and saw all three Weasley brothers and Harry surrounding her bed. She forced a smile.

"Hey guys." She greeted hoarsely.

"How can you possibly smile at a time like this?" all four yelled in unison and Hermione shrank back.

"Sorry." They all whispered.

"S'OK." She said, but Madam Pomfrey burst into the room at that very moment.

"You're awake? Good. I can help you get better now. Shoo, boys!" and she pushed them out of the room. She could hear Ron and Harry promising to come back later.

Madam Pomfrey fussed over he all day since there was no one else coming in and, finally, she left to go see Professor Dumbledore.

Hermione tried to sleep but then she heard the door open and Draco walked in.

"Can't stay long." He whispered quickly. "No one's supposed to know about us. I just came to see how you were. I'm really sorry."

She smiled hesitantly. "It's not your fault. In fact, it just made me realise how bad it is to live with him. Look out… he might come back."

"I can handle him now. It's _you_ who should look out." He grinned but his smile faltered as he heard someone walking outside. "I'd better go, just in case." He rushed over, kissed on the forehead and waved goodbye.

She was telling the truth when she told him about how hard it was to live with him. If it were her, she would've already bashed him over the head with a candlestick.

Her thoughts went back to when she was talking to Draco after the first incident and realised that she was probably the only person in the world who truly cared about him.

And simply for the satisfaction of that honour, she would always stay by his side.

__

If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cares 

~*~

After a week or so, Hermione got better. Inside, she was scarred for life but she looked as she always had, bushy brown hair and all.

While she was recovering from her shock, Draco stood by her the whole time. He talked to her about some of the other things that his father had done but Hermione didn't want to hear about that.

One night, they were sitting together in the Astronomy Tower, Hermione's head was on Draco's chest. Out of the blue, she said something that Draco never thought he'd ever hear in his life.

"Draco, I'll always be there for you, no matter what." She whispered.

Draco stared at her, eyes wide in shock. No one had ever 'been there' for him before. He'd always go on the road alone, no one to talk to, no one to care about.

No one.

And right then, he felt so happy that, finally, someone _would_ go along that road with him, would share his joy and pain and he smiled.

"I'll always be there for you, too."

He leant down and kissed her. 

All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there

~*~

Draco held Hermione's hand until they had to part ways. He kissed again and she smiled.

"Never been kissed." He said. "I can tell."

She blushed. "Never been kissed by someone I actually care for." She corrected and Draco felt as though he could melt on the spot.

Then a loud crash cut through the air and they could hear Filch howling in either pain or anger.

"Better go. 'Night!" he whispered into her ear and walked down the stairs that led to the Slytherin common room.

Hermione ambled towards the Gryffindor common room. She couldn't believe what she had said tonight. 'I'll always be there for you'? What on earth was she thinking. She was just scaring him away. Luckily for her, he didn't take it seriously.

Or even 'never been kissed by someone I actually care about'? Talk about putting her foot in her mouth.

She slowly returned to reality when she noticed Ron standing in front of her.

"Hey, Ron!" she greeted.

"Hey. Look, Herm, we need to talk."

Hermione's heart rate zoomed. "What's wrong? Is someone sick?"

"No, no. We just have to talk about us." He reassured.

"'Us'?" she asked. "What 'us'?"

"You and I, Herm. I love you."

Hermione's heart stopped. "What?" she whispered.

He took a step closer. "I love you." He said again and bent and kissed her.

Hermione didn't even move to stop him.

__

If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cares 

~*~

Draco had walked down towards the Slytherin entrance when he realised he still had Hermione's quill with him from their 'assignment session'. He hoped he could track her down. He knew this much about her – she liked to walk _very_ slowly.

He raced back up the stairs and when he reached the top, he dropped the quill in shock.

There, at the head of the stairs, was his Hermione and Weasel kissing like there was no tomorrow.

He watched desperately, begging Hermione to try to stop him from continuing but she seemed to enjoy herself immensely.

Draco suddenly felt very sick to the stomach and he raced off.

He knew Hermione hadn't acknowledged his presence and that killed him inside.

__

Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone

~*~

****

A/N: Have I twisted this around or what? *grins evilly* I have no idea how long this thing (meaning the love triangle) is going to last for, but I just realised that I only have seven chapters more! Wow… feel's like there should be soooo much more… oh, and sorry if this chapter isn't up to scratch, I just wanted to get it over with…

Anyway, if you want that email update thingamabob, just chuck it into a review or email (or letter, but you have no idea where I live, ne?). Anyway, please review! Pretty please with a cherry on top! Or sprinkles… or whipped cream! Mmm… whipped cream… *drool*


	5. I'd Rather Be In Love

****

I'D RATHER BE IN LOVE

__

A/N: 'Eylo! Oh, my God! Yea!!! 100 reviews! Thanks to everyone that reviewed, it really means a lot to me that you're reading this fic! XD Yea! *begins leaping around the room like the insane lunatic she is*

Anyway, I was having such writer's block for this chapter but I'm forcing myself to sit down and type it up now. 

Now, I'm really bored, so I decided I'd answer some reviews:

****

Freak of nature – No, she doesn't, but it's not like Hermione was singing the song, so she doesn't have to play the guitar. ;) get my meaning?

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Bluey – Yeah! Reading fics does make you think as one of my friends said, 'reading fics is just like reading the book but not only do you get the writer's POV, you also get the FF writer's POV.'

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Remote – Woohoo! Go Homer! I love The Simpsons_ soooooooo much!_

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Happy happy joy joy – Yup! I could tell that you were VERY happy! :D

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Sundae – Who doesn't like cherries, whipped cream and sprinkles when you think about it? Not many, me thinks!

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Aussie – BIG KEV! OMG, you totally cracked me up!

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LALALA – Wanna know my theory on the word 'lalalalala'? If you cross all the l's, you get 'tatatatata'!

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FOxyness39 – The last three were before. They're a prequel.

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Sarah Mackenzie – OMG, another JAG fan!

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Friend – Glad you wanna finish this one! ;)

Yeah… basically all I have to say… oh, Charmed_'s finished now… :D no more whinging and wailing from my dear friend._

****

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine! Get the picture?

~*~

Draco slowed down to a normal pace, then until he reached a complete stop. He slumped down and collapsed against the wall, face slack. Only his eyes gave away how he was feeling – hurt and betrayed.

He hit the wall in frustration. How could he have been so stupid? He had broken every rule in the book to see Hermione. Gryffindors against Slytherins, pure-blood against Muggle born. You name it, they broke it.

And even though those were the facts, he still continued with the insane thought that, maybe, just maybe, they could make it. How wrong he had been. The one person he had ever cared for and the one person who broke his heart were one and the same.

He slowly got up and continued the walk towards the dormitory, all the while thinking hard.

As much he wanted to throttle Hermione right then, he still had a tiny shred of faith in her. Could it be that it was Weasley, not her, who had taken the initiative to kiss?

He shook his head. It didn't matter whether it was Weasley or Hermione. She seemed to enjoy, she didn't try to stop and that was all that mattered to Draco.

~*~

Ron fell to the ground. Hermione was standing above him, no longer seeming to enjoy the kiss they had shared but rather shocked instead. Ron got up quickly.

"What did you push me for?" he asked angrily. She glared at him.

"How could you even _think_ of kissing me? We're friends!"

"Yeah… so?" Hermione felt like yelling but she didn't want the whole school to wake up.

"You are so thick, Ron! We're friends. Only friends. Nothing more." She threw him an angry look and hurried off, leaving Ron staring after her.

She rushed to her dorm, careful not to make too much noise in case she woke up the other girls. She changed quickly and lay down in her bed.

__

'Ron is the stupidest git in the world,' she decided and moaned. _'And I'm no smarter. What if anyone had seen?'_ Then she shot straight back up out of bed. What if…? No…

What if _Draco_ had seen?

__

I cannot help it  
I couldn't stop it if I tried  
The same old heartbeat fills the emptiness I have inside  
And I've heard that you can't fight love, so I won't complain  
'Cause why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on?

~*~

Harry always slept in on Sunday morning. It was a ritual. Normally, Hermione would hole herself up in the library or she and Ron would do some homework together.

But she was in no Ron mood this Sunday.

She raced to breakfast as early as they served it and ate very slowly, waiting until Draco arrived. Why did this seem so familiar to her?

Then he came in. he didn't notice her at first but as she rushed towards him, he looked up and turned to leave.

"Draco!" she hissed. "We have to talk!" she followed him as he strode into the Entrance Hall. 

"There's nothing to talk about!" he shouted back and, with a final burst of speed, Hermione grabbed his arm.

"There _is_ something to talk about." She said seriously.

~*~

Draco paused and stared at the desperate look on her face. Her cinnamon eyes pleaded for him to listen to her, to give her a chance to explain. He gave in.

"Draco, did you come back… after you left last night? Did you see Ron and I together?" she asked immediately, deciding that the more up-front she was about it, the more merciful he would be to her. He grunted in reply, grey eyes focused on the ground.

"I'm sorry. Ron kissed me and…" she began to explain but Draco suddenly looked up furiously and cut her off.

"And you didn't try to stop him!" he snapped. She gasped.

"No!" she protested. "Draco, that's not true! I stopped him!" 

__

'Probably after he left,' she thought miserably. He forced a laugh.

"If stopping him means that you pulled him closer, then, yeah, I agree. You stopped him." He glared at her as she began to open her mouth to protest. "Don't lie to me, Hermione." He ordered quietly. "Lying will only make things worse." He swept out of the room, leaving Hermione, bewildered and alone.

~*~

He had done it. He had gotten rid of the only thing that could've tainted the Malfoy name – a Gryffindor Mudblood with the only son. Lucius would be proud of Draco. Mind you, he would've been ashamed and angry at the fact that they were together in the first place.

He sat on a couch in the Slytherin common room, gazing into the fire, face expressionless. Even his steely eyes, which were normally filled with the emotion he tended to hide, were empty.

He had to be realistic. They had no chance anyway. If Weasley and Potter had found out, they would've kicked his ass so hard, he wouldn't know what had hit him. And judging by his past experiences with the two of them, Weasley was by far stronger in arms, not in wands.

Including his feelings for Hermione, Draco was not in any rush to fight him.

Considering they were the circumstances, Draco was glad that he had dumped her before they got too caught up in their emotions. Before their first and last thoughts of the day were one another.

__

'Well,' he thought bitterly._ 'If that's the case, I'm in way over my head.'_

~*~

Hermione sat in the room, absolutely still, for a few minutes after Draco left. He had flat out denied believing what she said. Mind you, if he had seen it, he would rather believe his own eyes than a Gryffindor Mudblood out to break his heart and lead him on.

She knew that if there was any chance, any at all, to make him believe her, she would take it. But if that chance also included Harry and Ron finding out about it, forget it. She's rather be without an alive Draco, than with a dead one.

She sighed and cast her eyes towards the ceiling.

She didn't have much of a love life, but the one she did have – boy, was it screwed up! 

__

'Cause when there's you, I feel whole  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
But without you I'm alone  
And I'd rather be in love with you 

~*~

Draco rolled over again. He couldn't sleep for the life of him. His mind remained on one thought – Hermione.

Why couldn't he just kick her out of his head? She plagued his thoughts, day and night and he hated it. He wanted to hate her so badly but, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he simply couldn't.

He changed his clothes quietly and tiptoed down and out of the Slytherin common room. He planned to simply wander around the school but his feet made a beeline for the Astronomy Tower.

__

'Great.' He thought when he saw who was in there and turned right back around.

"Wait!" she called and he found himself rooted to the spot.

Hermione got up and ran towards him.

"Draco…" she whispered. "Draco, I'm so glad to see you! Just wanted to apologise, for anything that you saw." 

Draco glanced up and he soon got lost in her sincere chestnut eyes. He shook himself out of his reverie and glowered at her.

"So you think I'm just going to nod and smile and go, 'Yes, Hermione, I accept your apology' and let that be the end of it?" Hermione looked hopeful but Draco stared her down. "Well, you're wrong, Granger. I told you how bad my life was and what do you do? Why, go ahead and make it ten times worse. I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you." He ended harshly. Hermione stared, dismayed.

"No, Draco, you don't mean that!" she yelled, beginning to cry.

"Want a bet?" he asked bluntly. She grabbed his arm.

"Please, Draco, you're not serious! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything!" she sobbed. Draco pulled her off gently.

"So am I, Herm." He sighed. "I'm sorry it had to end like this." He jerked away from her arm and walked down the stairs, out of the Tower, to the rhythm of Hermione's helpless weeping.

__

Turn out the lights now  
To see is to believe  
I just want you near me  
I just want you here with me  
And I'd give up everything only for you  
It's the least that I could do

~*~

Hermione stretched her neck, trying to relieve the cramp in it. She wondered what on earth she was doing where she was. She most certainly wasn't in her bed or even in the Gryffindor common room. Then it all came flooding back to her.

__

"So you think I'm just going to nod and smile and go, 'Yes, Hermione, I accept your apology' and let that be the end of it? Well, you're wrong, Granger. I told you how bad my life was and what do you do? Why, go ahead and make it ten times worse. I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you."

Hermione wiped away the fresh tears beginning to form and glanced outside the window. A grey sky. It reminded her of Draco's eyes. How much she wanted to look into them right now.

She stood up and shook out her robes, hoping they were not too wrinkled. She hoped she could escape Harry and Ron with a 'oh, I just got up early this morning and decided to walk around the school' excuse.

She probably would.

She trudged down the stairs slowly, feeling not very hungry or excited today. She could hear people in the Great Hall, eating noisily even before she was in the same corridor. She stepped into the Hall and forced a smile as she sat down.

"Where were you?" Harry asked, concerned. Ron just glared at her, mouth full of pie.

"Oh, I just woke up early and decided to take a walk around the school." She said calmly. Harry nodded and continued talking to her. Ron coughed unbelievingly and resumed eating.

Then she gasped. Draco was walking towards them, Crabbe and Goyle by his sides, just like old times when he came to annoy them, just for a little spot of entertainment.

Seems he was back to the old times.

"Well, if it isn't Potty, Weasel and Mudblood." He drawled familiarly. Hermione watched him in horror. How could he possibly go back to his old self when she knew what he was like?

"Malfoy, you'd better watch your mouth." Hermione threatened as rudely as she allowed herself to. She didn't want to piss him off. She wanted him back.

"Yeah, if you know what's good for you." Ron stood up threateningly. He was much taller than Draco but he appeared scrawny next to Crabbe or Goyle.

"And what do you plan to do?" Draco asked, crossing his arms across his chest. "Your family probably couldn't afford your common sense so that you could know what's good for _you_."

Ron howled furiously and leapt for Draco. Harry, who seemed to have predicted it, simply wasn't quick enough to stop him and Ron began to punch Draco's face in. Crabbe and Goyle grabbed him but quickly let go as Ron began to flail his arms around in an attempt to stop them from stopping him.

But none of the boys counted on Hermione. She grabbed Ron by the waist and yelled, "Stop it, Ron! You're going to get in trouble!" but he didn't hear her. Instead, he whirled around and punched her square in the face.

She dropped to the ground like a rag doll and everyone who was watching the fight with fascination seemed frozen. Ron gasped and ran towards her, Harry following suit. Draco picked himself up from the ground and gingerly wiped the blood from his nose.

Everyone was watching Hermione, though. She was holding her head then she looked at Ron, eyes slack.

"I told you to stop." She muttered. She glared at Ron who seemed at a loss for words. "But you didn't listen. You never listen to me!" she screeched and ran out of the Hall.

Harry and Ron stood up to run after her but Professors Snape and McGonagall stopped them both. Meanwhile, Draco slipped out.

He knew exactly where she'd be.

~*~

Hermione ran. It had begun to rain hard during Ron and Draco's fight but the rain meant nothing to Hermione. She just wanted to get away from everyone. She ran to her hiding spot – a tiny nook at the base of the Astronomy Tower. Where no one would find her. Except the one person she wanted to see.

Draco.

__

'Cause when there's you, I feel whole  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
But without you I'm alone  
And I'd rather be in love with you 

~*~

Draco pushed open the doors that led out of the Hogwarts castle and onto the sweeping Hogwarts grounds. It was pouring but Draco didn't care. He grabbed the collar of his cloak, heaved it over his head and ran.

Luckily he knew where he was going otherwise he'd be drenched. Too bad he still had to go to the other side of the school to get to the Astronomy Tower.

His eyes darted frantically across the base of the Tower, probing for the tiny cranny he was looking for. Then he heard crying. He dashed towards it and found Hermione, rolled up and hugging her knees.

She was crying hard, shoulders shaking violently. Her robe was wet with her tears and the rain. Her hair was tangled.

"Hermione." Draco called gently towards her. "Hermione, come on out. You can't stay there forever."

"I don't want to come out."

Draco sighed. This was going to take longer than he expected. He crawled into the tiny hole with her. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.

"Herm, you have to come out. It's not like you did anything wrong anyway. It was Weasley and I. There's no point staying here."

She sniffled. "How can I face Ron? I think I made it obvious that I took _your_ side, not his."

He laughed. "I think, considering the situation, that no one noticed whose side you took."

She frowned. "How can you possibly laugh?"

He smiled. "You take things _way_ too seriously, Herm. Lighten up! You're a pretty good liar, I've seen you do it and I'm sure you've lied before and gotten away with it. Just say that they must've misheard or something."

She nodded slowly. "I suppose so." Then she smiled. "I was always told that I was uptight."

He grinned. "Come on. Let's get somewhere dry."

And I feel you holding me 

Why are we afraid to be in love?  
To be loved  
I can't explain it  
I know it's tough to be loved 

And I feel you holding me 

~*~

"Man, I sorta wish we didn't finish so quickly… we have all this time doing nothing." Draco complained but Hermione shook her head.

"Why don't you stop wasting your time and finish some other homework instead then?" she suggested and Draco got up to look outside.

"'Cos I can't be stuffed to do that either." He grinned and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm surprised you get the marks you do with all the time you spend bludging." She looked back down to her Transfiguration book. Draco sighed, went over to her table and grabbed the book. Hermione yelled.

"C'mon, Herm! Live a little! Your whole life should not revolve around books and brains."

"Yeah, it shouldn't, but it does. You can't get a good job if you don't get high marks. The higher your marks are, the higher the chance of getting a good job." She argued but Draco just threw her book into her bag.

"You spend all that time in the library. Do your homework then. Meanwhile, you can spend time with wonderful ol' me!"

"And wonderful ol' modest you!" she joked. "Fine, fine! I suppose I don't get to see you any other time really, do I?"

"No!" he agreed and pulled her out of her chair and out of the room.

Things were like how they were before.

But they had no idea what was to come.

__

  
And when there's you, I feel whole  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
But without you I'm alone

And I'd rather be in love  
Yes, I'd rather be in love  
Oh I'd rather be in love with you 

And I feel you holding me, oh

~*~

**__**

A/N: Yes! Finally finished! Not as long as usual but you have no idea how hard it was for me to write this. Argh! Please review! I'd love you forever and ever! *smiles sweetly*


	6. You Get Me

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YOU GET ME

__

A/N: Hey! I know, I know… sorry it took so long to get this out… I have no idea which order to do the songs in… I don't even know when Goodbye to You _fits in! It should be coming up soon, anyway since there's only… six chapters left I think… five after this…_

Well, anyway, I suppose you all just wanna read this so I'll leave little messages at the end!

****

Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling (please hurry up with the fifth book!) and the song belongs to Michelle Branch. The lovely, wonderful and talented Michelle Branch.

~*~

Hermione and Draco parted ways that night, but it didn't mean they stopped thinking about each other. Hermione never thought she could think about anyone this way, much less Draco Malfoy. If anyone found out, they would've died of shock.

Then a thought entered her mind. Someone _did_ know.

Lucius Malfoy.

That name brought both an angry glint to her eyes and sent a shiver down her spine. That man seemed to epitomise evil to her. Not even You-Know-Who did. Lucius was far more subtle, he definitely had the Ministry fooled.

He was the person that stood between her and Draco's relationship. Along with Harry, Ron and maybe Pansy Parkinson but he would be the only one to do anything about it.

How very right she was.

~*~

Narcissa Malfoy was still cowering in the corner. Ever since Lucius arrived home from Hogwarts to speak to Draco, he had been in a towering rage, flinging things across the room, throwing papers into the fireplace, even throwing things at her.

Not that she wasn't used to it, she supposed.

But he was in a far worse mood than she had ever seen him in.

Lucius then stormed into the room and Narcissa quickly got up. But he didn't even glance at her. He pulled out a book from the bookshelf and flipped through it. She watched on curiously. He seemed to know what he was looking for. Suddenly, he looked up.

"Narcissa!" he boomed and she jumped in shock. "Go get me some wine, you fool!"

She hurried out of the room and he slammed the door after she had left. He stood in front of the fireplace, staring at the flames. To a casual onlooker, he seemed to just be doing that but to someone who knew Lucius, he was waiting.

Soon enough, a face appeared in the fire.

"Hello Lucius." Voldemort hissed.

"My Lord." he whispered and bowed. "I need some advice, perhaps some assistance."

"Speak." Voldemort urged.

"My son, Draco, has fallen for a Mudblood witch who seems to have him under her spell." Lucius explained and he could see Voldemort's eyes close in thought. "I tried to notify him on our recent plans on how to destroy Harry Potter but the witch came and took Draco away. I think she knows."

With that last comment, Voldemort's eyes opened sharply but he smiled.

"Then we must do something then." He said simply and Lucius nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I agree… but what?"

Voldemort smile turned into a malicious grin.

"Leave that to me." And he was gone.

~*~

Voldemort's patience was wearing thin. he had to find that dratted book. The sooner he found it, the sooner Harry Potter would be in his hands.

Wormtail entered quietly and knocked. "My Lord?"

"Go away! I'm busy!" he roared and Wormtail recoiled back into the shadows, closing the door behind him with a snap.

Voldemort lifted random sheets of paper and there it was. That stupid bloody book.

He picked it up and flipped to the page he wanted.

__

'The perfect spell.' He thought. _'Nice and subtle. That Mudblood won't know what hit her.'_

So I'm a little left of centre  
I'm a little out of tune  
Some say I'm paranormal  
So I just bend their spoon

~*~

"I am so sick of studying!" Hermione proclaimed loudly. Harry and Ron stared at her in disbelief. "What?" she asked.

Harry shook his head and pretended to clean his ears. "I'm sorry, did I just hear Hermione Granger say she was sick of studying?" he pretended to faint in shock and ended up with a book hitting his stomach. He moaned, winded.

"Ha ha." Hermione laughed sarcastically.

"You have to admit though, Herm," Ron continued Harry's train of thought, "that it's a very weird thing to hear coming out of your mouth."

"Oh, yeah?" her eyes glinted. "How about I only got 3/10 for my Transfiguration essay?" Harry and Ron clutched their hearts and collapsed onto each other. "I'm serious." They sat back up and stared at her until she collapsed into fits of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked.

"You… guys… are so… GULLIBLE!" she managed to choke out. Ron stood up angrily and stomped to the dorm stairs.

"Fine then!" he shouted and walked up to his dorm. He came down five seconds later and waved to them. "Night Herm, Harry." And continued on his way.

"Yeah, I'm pretty beat, too." Harry said, yawning as if to accent his words. "Night Herm." And leaned in to give her a hug but she recoiled.

"Whoa! What are you doing there, buddy boy?" she pointed a finger accusingly.

Harry's eyes were wide as he said, "I was going to give you a hug but if you don't want one, that's fine. Night." He waved, picked up his and Ron's books and walked up to his dorm.

Hermione sat down on one of the plush couches, thinking. She had never refused a hug from anyone that she could remember. And out of the two of her friends, she definitely would've preferred a hug from Harry than Ron.

__

'I'm going insane.' she thought and picked up her books and headed to bed.

__

Who wants to be ordinary  
In a crazy, mixed-up world  
I don't care what they're sayin'  
As long as I'm your girl

~*~

Hermione walked a little behind Harry and Ron, caught up in a conversation about Quidditch. She was glad to get to talk to Draco again but she put on an angry expression, just in case.

She walked into the cold Potions dungeon. Snape was already at the front and Draco was seated next to Pansy. He glared at Hermione but winked before she turned away, smiling.

Luckily, no one noticed this exchange.

"Miss Granger, please sit down quickly. Five points from Gryffindor." Snape said smoothly, turning back to the board. He didn't notice Hermione stalk up to him, a furious expression on her face, a formerly suppressed fire burning brightly in her eyes.

He also didn't have time to notice her fist before it slammed into his skull and he collapsed on the floor.

"Hermione!" Harry and Ron cried in unison, hurrying to the front of the room. Little whispers broke out around the small dungeon and Hermione just realised what she had done.

"Oh, my God…" she murmured under her breath, staring at the now unconscious Snape lying on the ground.

"You must have a really hard right." Seamus said lightly. Hermione sat down at the teacher's table, hand over her mouth. She was still mumbling 'oh, my God'.

Draco and some other Slytherins came up as well. Some were laughing but Draco simply stared at Hermione.

"What happened?" Ron asked.

"I just… snapped… I think…" she whispered. "I'm sorry, I have to go…" she ran out of the room.

What had happened? She wasn't the kind to attack a teacher, unless you count the time in the Shrieking Shack, which seemed to be necessary. But this… Snape had taken points from Gryffindor before. Why this time?

Hermione began to think of the punishments. Detention for a month. One hundred points from Gryffindor. Something along those lines.

Hermione began to cry, running blindly through the halls and crept into her little cranny.

She needed to talk to Draco.

__

Hey, you are on my side  
And they, they just roll their eyes

  
~*~

"That Granger is absolutely insane!" Crabbe guffawed.

Ron and Harry couldn't even say something in her defense. What had Hermione done? Why did she do it? Nothing seemed to make sense.

"Can we leave?" Malfoy asked lazily, leaning against the door frame, bag slung on his shoulder.

"Well, we certainly won't be learning anything!" Dean commented.

"What do we do? Just leave him here?" came a voice from the back.

"Well, I'm not sticking around." Malfoy said and exited the room, several Slytherins following him.

Harry looked at the unconscious Potions Master.

"Great." He muttered sarcastically.

~*~

Draco rushed out onto the grounds of the school and to Hermione's little nook. Sure enough, she was there. Sobbing but still alive. He was glad she hadn't jumped into the lake.

"Hey." He whispered and crawled in next to her.

"Hey." She replied in a stuffed up voice.

He hugged her but couldn't resist asking, "What were you thinking?"

"I don't know!" she wailed. She sobbed, unrestrained, into his shoulder for a few minutes. "Draco, something's wrong."

He released her and stared into her eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asked seriously.

"I seem to be doing things I don't usually do… _this_ is not something that is normal for me!"

"I know." He said simply and they lapsed into silence. He was busy thinking about any spells or incantations that might achieve this effect.

"What did everyone else think?" she whispered.

"Oh, that you were crazy… stuff like that." He shrugged and she looked up at him.

"Do you… think I'm going crazy?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

"I think you might if we don't find out what's wrong with you."

__

You get me  
When nobody understands  
You come and take the chance, baby  
You get me  
You look inside my wild mind  
Never knowing what you'll find  
And still you want me all the time  
Yeah, you do  
Yeah, you get me

~*~

Hermione didn't think she was ever as desperate as this. She had skipped all of her classes to find a spell that she didn't even know existed. She just followed Draco's lead. Unfortunately, he could spend the day with her. It would be too suspicious.

She searched until dinner time. Harry and Ron were probably wondering where she had gone. Maybe the headed for the Hospital Wing instead.

She almost let out a shriek when she felt someone grab her waist. But she relaxed when she figured out who it was.

"Hey." Draco whispered. "Found anything yet?"

"No." she replied, a hint of frustration in her voice. He let go of her and sat down at a nearby table.

"I was thinking… maybe it's a really dark spell." He suggested, picking up a random book and flipping through its pages.

"Why?" Hermione settled herself across from him.

"Well… I reckon it's someone who knows about us. Don't ask me why, I just have a hunch. There's only one person who knows." He stared at her pointedly.

"Lucius." She murmured.

"Precisely. I know my dad. He'd do anything."

"Does that mean that the spell is in the Restricted Section?" she asked, her heart dropping.

"Most likely."

"How we are we ever going to get it?" she moaned, her heart dropping.

"Easy." he smiled. Hermione raised her eyebrows. "I'll just tell my father that I want to cast the spell on Potter. He'll send the book."

Hermione began to smile.

~*~

__

So what if I see the sunshine  
In the pouring rain  
Some people think I'm crazy  
But you say it's okay

Hermione had resorted to becoming anti-social, just in case she snapped again. Harry and Ron, she could tell, were becoming excessively worried and she wanted this to end immediately.

She was sitting by the fireplace one day when it was literally pouring outside. Thunder roared and lightning cut across the sky. She should've felt sorry for Harry and Ron who were practicing Quidditch in this weather but she loved rain. At least now she did.

She heaved herself off the couch and headed down towards the grounds, no cloak or anything to keep her warm.

She stepped down onto the muddy surface and stared fascinated for a while, soon diverting her attention to the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

She sat down right there, in the middle of the mud, and started to laugh to herself. They stopped practice to watch her. She really was a peculiar sight. Harry flew down to talk to her but she ran away from him.

"Hermione! What are you doing down here with no cloak?" he questioned her.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she ignored him and stared at the sky. "Sun is shining, birds are singing, bees are buzzing…"

"Hermione, get back inside before you catch a cold!" Harry ordered but his voice was barely audible over the loud crack of thunder.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she yelled and ran into the Forbidden Forest. Harry watched her run, his heart dropping.

"Hermione, what's wrong with you?"

__

You've seen my secret garden  
Where all of my flowers grow  
In my imagination  
Anything goes

~*~

Hermione ran. She didn't know the Forbidden Forest very well since she'd only been there once but she headed towards the side near the lake. To her surprise, Draco was sitting there with an umbrella, his cloak wrapped tightly around him. He looked up when he heard her footsteps.

"Herm!" he shouted. "What are you doing out here without a cloak? Come here." She stared at him for a full ten seconds, Draco feeling more uneasy as the seconds ticked by. Finally, she sat down on the wet grass and shook her head obstinately.

"C'mon! I don't want you to catch pneumonia." Draco begged. He stood up and pulled his cloak off his shoulders and lay it down on hers gently.

"I'm so confused." She muttered. "Everything's topsy turvy to me and I can't help it." She pointed to the Forbidden Forest. "That's Eden to me and that," she pointed to the sky, "is beautiful weather." 

She began to cry, tears pouring gently down her face. "I can't handle it anymore, Draco… I'm going insane, I can feel it…" she looked up at him. Sympathy was thick in his eyes. "What's wrong with me?"

"It's just a spell. I sent an owl to my father a week ago. The book should be coming any day now. Just hold on okay? Meanwhile, let's get you inside." He offered his hand, which she took gratefully and he led her inside the castle.

__

I, I am all you want  
They, they just read me wrong

~*~

"Okay, if anyone asks, we're doing our Potions assignment." Hermione said.

"Right."

Lucius had finally sent the book to Draco with his best wishes and a threat. He had even bookmarked it. He said it was Lord Voldemort's book so he must take due care of it.

That extra information scared Draco. If Lord Voldemort was involved…

But Hermione cut across his train of thought.

"I need a powerful witch or wizard to cast the anti-charm." She muttered. "I can't cast it on myself either." She looked at Draco. "Think your up to it?"

He stared at her. "I hate to say this but I think Potter's stronger than I am. Ask him. He'd gladly do it."

"How do I say I found the spell? Draco, you're the only one who knows…"

That warmed his heart considerably. "Ask him. Just say you figured it out with the sane part of your brain and you found the spell in the library. The normal section."

She nodded.

You get me  
When nobody understands  
You come and hold my hand, baby  
You get me  
You look inside my wild mind  
Never knowing what you'll find  
Still you want me all the time  
Yeah, you do  
'Cause you get me

~*~

"Harry?" she asked tentatively. He looked up.

"Herm?"

"Can you help me?" she asked nervously, wringing her hands.

"Sure." He replied smiling but she could tell he was holding back a little.

She shoved the spell in front of him.

"Say that incantation, pointing your wand at me." She said bluntly. Harry's eyes bulged.

"What'll it do?" he questioned hesitantly.

"You'll see." She said simply and sat on the couch. He shrugged and pulled out his wand from his pocket.

"Are you sure?" he asked and she nodded.

He cleared his throat.

__

'infectum reddere carmen, refe eius mens sana.' He spoke clearly. (A/N: Just in case you were wondering, my Latin really sucks.)

Hermione saw a flash of yellow light heading towards her and hit her chest. Instead of a normal spell which would have hit her much like a tonne of bricks, this spell sent a warm feeling through her body and she looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time.

"Hermione?" Harry's voice seemed far away but it soon became clearer. "Herm? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Harry!" she smiled and hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

"Phew!" He sighed. "You know, the last couple of weeks, me and Ron thought you were going crazy!"

She smiled.

__

Hey, you are on my side  
They, they just roll their eyes

~*~

Hermione hugged Draco. "Thanks for the book. It saved my life. Literally."

"No problem." He smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"You know, maybe it was just because you knew what was happening to me, but you were the only person who didn't seem to skirt me in the corridors." Hermione mused.

"Really?" Draco asked. "Even all your Gryffindor friends?"

"Yeah, even Ron and Harry. I guess it was sort of my fault. I snapped at them the most!" she reminisced. She turned around and kissed Draco on the lips. "Thanks for standing by me."

"Hey, that's me! Lovable, dependable-"

"Obnoxious, conceited-" Hermione joined in. 

"Hey!" Draco chided. "I stood up for you when you were insane and should've gone to St. Mungo's. The least you can do is give me some compliments!"

"What? Being obnoxious and conceited aren't good enough for Mr. Malfoy?" she giggled.

He caught the glint in her eyes and sighed. "Fine! I'll be a lovable, dependable, obnoxious and conceited-"

"Teddy bear!" Hermione cut in and Draco cuffed her on the back of her head.

"I'm glad you're normal again." He smiled. She nodded in agreement.

"And so say both of us!" she began to sing.

"I was just thinking," he interrupted, "that attacking you might've actually been a good idea." It was her turn to cuff him on the back of the head.

"Seriously, though," he continued, "not only would it have broken you and I up, which would've made my dad ecstatic but it would've hurt Potter as well."

"I guess." She sighed. "Don't worry, you'll always be my lovable, dependable-"

"Let's stop there!" he cut in and they spent the rest of the night together, basking in their own company.

__

'Cause you get me  
When nobody understands  
You come and take the chance, baby  
You get me  
When none of the pieces fit  
You make sense of it

"I get the distinct feeling that this isn't the last we'll get from my father…" Draco said at the end of the night.

"Really? That desperate?"

"My father knows no end. He'll keep going until he gets what he wants." Draco explained. 

He was a little scared actually, both for him and Hermione. It took him that long to realise but he had never felt this strongly about anyone in his entire life. He was never allowed to. His father made sure of that.

Love is a weakness, Lucius had said but as he stared down at Hermione, he didn't feel as though it was a weakness.

Not for a single second. He needed Hermione.

__

  
You get me  
You look inside my wild mind  
Never knowing what you'll find  
And still I want you all the time  
Yeah, I do  
'Cause you get me

"Herm?" he said. She looked up at him and smiled. He took in a deep breath and let loose.

"I love you."

~*~

**__**

A/N: Okay, how was it? I hope it was okay… a chapter worth the wait. It's definitely the longest chapter so far. I actually rewrote the thing about three times (which, besides writer's block, is one of the reasons it took so long) but I wasn't happy with all of those so I changed it to this. I hope that was a little cliffie at the end, I actually like cliffies, make you think.

OMG! I was going to upload this but FF.N isn't working! It'll work by tomorrow though so I can upload it then but still! Just when I actually had it written out! *pouts*s

Anyway, just my thanks to everyone who reviewed:

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Rupert rocks my socks: I totally agree! Exams suck and are evil! I did okay in most of them but I almost failed one. Shhhhhhh… Word annoys me, too. I never actually realised they were Christmas colours… isn't that interesting? Also, thank you for adding this to your favourites! I love it when people do that! =D

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Melamin: OMG!!! Your name is Elvish! Does it mean 'love' or something? I don't know very much Elvish (just a couple of words) but I'm starting to get obsessed with LOTR *sigh*. Also, thanks to you for adding me and this to your favourites list! *mwah*!

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Soledad: I'm glad I have you addicted to Michelle Branch! She is such a fantastic person, really talented. Thanks for adding me to your favourites!

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deiah: Hey! Just remember to email me with the mistakes, yessido (I have no idea where that came from…)! I'm finally updating, hope that makes you happy! Thanks for adding me to your favourites, too!

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Indoor Voice Please: I'm glad you feel so passionately about this fic! Thanks!

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Sweetly Seductive: Yeah, the two weeks are long over *blushes* Sorry for keeping you all waiting! And yeah, my exams are over, too. *shudders* Don't remind me!

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Inca Mummy Girl: I LOVE cherries and whipped cream!

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Queen of Blahiness: Thank you for all those compliments! Love you!

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Ketchup: You're right, I do love all the reviews, every single one!

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DreAmz AnGeL: Yeah, Michelle Branch rocks!

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Song*breeze: *sigh* Why am I called Knickers? We (my friends and I) were a bit high during lunch and we have a friend named Nicole who another friend decided that her new nickname was going to be Knickers. So we went around the room, trying to figure out how everyone's name related to the word Knickers. I don't think I'll go into mine but all of them were related by the same thing and I'll let you guess what that was. ;)

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puella: Yeah, I do Latin, I suck at it though, but I do it. I suppose you could try to do a translation of that spell but I really don't think it's right. I couldn't figure out which declension it was in… *sigh*

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Sabrina Weasley: This whole thing is just about a sequel… a sequel and a prequel, all tied into a nice little package! (Quote: Homer Simpson)

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Flick: Her arm was never broken! A little bruised maybe but still! =P

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1.4.3: Of course, a long review is better than no review! I actually prefer long reviews, provides more entertainment!

Also thanks to: **Petruska DYIT, lil' dudette, yoghurt, Kittae, yoyo, clare **(hey honey!)**, animegirl-mika, kathie, Juliet, Bloomsbury, Mish, Suki, Psychotic Gypsy, Funky Slayer, pfft, moby, C, Jujube, XD, madame maxime, Ellie, People Magnet, Ketchup, Two Worlds, Y2K, Wazzuuuuuuuup, Aprodite, Artshow, Bunnies rule 4eva, Beauiful Hunchback, CottonBall Princess, Cisco, Amazing Grace, Olive Oyl, Tooth and Nail, Brown-nose Susan, Rock, Scissors, Paper; Yvonne, kaloderma, Draco Lover… Upset!, Conchita, Claudia, Lee.**

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and I hope you review again! I think I might actually know where this fic is going now so the next chapter might be up pretty quickly. **If you want an email update, ask in a review or send an email to me and I'll add you to the list!** By the way, can anyone tell me what canon and fanon are? I have absolutely no bloody idea but I see them everywhere! Thanks again to everyone who's reviewed!

Le gra go deo,

Cindy


	7. Something To Sleep To

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SOMETHING TO SLEEP TO

**__**

A/N: _Okay, now I feel like the epitome of stupidity… I was on hiatus for forever because I couldn't bring myself to write a chapter using _Drop in the Ocean_ because I didn't like the song (true fact, I wasn't just lazy! I promise!), but here I am, using another song from _The Spirit Room_! *sigh*_

I've been obsessed with Michelle Branch for the past week or so, ever since I got her new album so I guess you could thank her if you wanted me to get up off my ass and start writing again. Did you know she was Dutch-Indonesian mixed with French and Irish? I think that's so cool – epitome of ethnicity! Go Michelle (or Meesh as she's known)!

Anyway, I've basically got it all planned out now… I had it all planned out before but now I have permission to work with Hotel Paper_ as well which is really good! After this chapter, you might want to go back and read _Goodbye to You_ again because that's when it takes place, at least I think so. If not, it'll be the chapter after this. _

Anyway, I guess you'd want to read the story since you've been waiting about six months for it! Here we go, finally another chapter of Amor Omnia Vincit_!_

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Disclaimer: _I don't even know why I bother with these things anymore… everyone knows that I am not Michelle Branch or J.K. Rowling. Just in case you wanted to know, I am as musically un-intellectual as anyone can possibly be…_

~*~

Hermione sat in shock, her eyes wide open in disbelief and her jaw dropped.

"What?" she whispered, her voice cracking on the one word.

Draco swallowed, he could hear his heart pounding in his chest, the butterflies in his tummy. A hot flush rose to his cheeks and he cursed himself for saying it. "I love you." He repeated on demand, wishing he could just sink into the floor.

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to absorb it. She hadn't been dreaming – he had said he loved her. Oh, God… and now he was waiting to hear what she had to say. She opened her eyes and saw Draco, cheeks as pink as they could get, with his head turned away from her in… was it embarrassment? Was he embarrassed of what he felt?

First, she had to give him an answer. Did she love him? She couldn't just say it if she didn't mean it. That'd be awful, both for him and her. He was being led on and she was lying to her feelings.

The seconds ticked by as Hermione deliberated over how she felt and each second seemed an eternity for Draco.

__

Why couldn't she just say something?

The seconds became minutes ever so slowly and Draco finally stood up. Hermione paid no attention, still lost in her thoughts. Draco could still feel his heart, the pounding a little quieter, the speed a little slower but he could feel it starting to break.

"I'd better go." He whispered, his voice cracking more as each syllable escaped his lips. Hermione was suddenly pulled from her reverie as Draco slowly walked towards the door.

"What? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening…" Hermione got up as well and walked towards Draco, quickly narrowing the distance between them. However, in his heart, Draco felt miles and miles away from her. He was beneath her.

"I'm leaving." He said, his voice under control for the first time since he said those words – those awful words.

Hermione remained silent and Draco opened the door and got a foot outside before Hermione called out to him.

"Wait!" Draco stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. "I-" she started but she couldn't finish. Could she lie to him? "I-" Draco's eyes widened and she realised she'd have to finish.

"I love you, too."

__

She's his yellow brick road  
Leading him on  
And letting him go as far as she lets him go  
Going down to nowhere 

~*~

Hermione groggily opened her eyes the next morning. Even though the sunlight was anything but unpleasant to her, she closed them and rolled over again, trying to get back to sleep. Or back to her thoughts at least, where her roommates couldn't intrude.

God, she was stupid. She had never felt so dumb or so guilty in her whole life. Draco had confided his innermost feelings to her, something she knew was a huge step for her and went against anything he had previously believed in, and what had she done? Lied to him through her teeth. Of all things she owed to him, it was the truth.

She could hear her roommates stirring. They'd be up in half an hour at least and even though she had the reputation of being the earliest riser in the dormitory to keep up, she couldn't be bothered caring right now.

She felt awful, there was pit in her stomach that kept getting bigger and bigger, just like her guilt. She felt as if she had her own personal Dementor following her around and it was sucking up her feelings while she was powerless to stop it.

She never wanted to leave this room.

~*~

She plodded slowly behind Harry and Ron who were having a very enthusiastic Quidditch discussion. So enthusiastic, it seemed to her like they were making up for the misery they were about to have in their Potions class.

Ha, nothing compared to her misery. She'd have to face Draco and pretend that everything was all right, pretend that they were both on equal ground when it came to feelings.

She watched as Harry and Ron entered the dungeon in front of her and she paused before the door.

__

'Everything is going to be okay.'

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stepped inside the cold, stone room in one smooth motion. She released it slowly and nodded to herself. This wasn't so bad…

She opened her eyes and the first person her eyes landed on was Draco. He was sitting alone in the second row, already looking at her, a slight smile on his lips. She forced herself to smile back.

Oh, God, what had she done?

Why was she still doing it?

__

She puts on her make-up  
The same way she did yesterday  
Hoping everything's the same  
But everything has changed 

~*~

The butterflies in his tummy went away with her words as soon as he heard them. His heart was still beating as quickly but not in fear. No, he was reassured, she felt the same way he did, surely that was something to celebrate!

He slept rather easily that night, the complete opposite of Hermione, glad to get that moment out of the way. It always seemed to be a turning point in a couple's relationship. For God's sake, it even had a title.

__

The three dreaded words.

At least for guys. They weren't part of the sentimental part of the species after all, and any who were, were called gay. Or a Sensitive New Age Guy which appeared to mean the same thing as gay.

Why was it that women loved gay guys anyway?

He was getting off topic. After all, Hermione wasn't crazy for a SNAG. Otherwise why would she be with him? Draco cringed when he heard rumours around the school that he was gay. His father even said he could believe it.

Well, he sure wasn't. He had Hermione.

She stayed in his thoughts all day, he was dying to see her, to touch her again. Potions. His favourite class anyway was made that little bit better by the promise of being alone with Hermione.

His head was in the clouds until then, even Crabbe and Goyle were more on the ball than he was, and that was saying something!

Finally it came, he sat somewhere other than his normal seat. He sat right where Hermione would see him. He'd be the first person she'd lay her eyes on. Their eyes would meet, then they'd fall into each other's arms and…

He shook his head and he heard the dungeon door being opened. Potter and Weasley. Well, Hermione couldn't be far behind now, could she?

No, he could see her, hesitating before she came into the room. Draco's mouth was already pulled into a smile, even before she opened her eyes. Just like he had imagined, their eyes met but instead of falling into his arms, she simply smiled back and walked away. He frowned and turned to watch her make her way towards her friends.

Was it just him, or was her smile a little forced?

__

In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to at night 

~*~

"Get into your pairs now." Professor Snape said out of habit and sat down, put his chin in his hand and proceeded to look as bored as humanly possible.

Hermione made her way towards Draco, not before Harry and Ron wished her luck and gave her sympathetic looks, and sat down next to him. They were alone, everyone else was sitting in the vicinity of another. They weren't taking the assignment seriously – this was a good time to socialise.

"Hey." She whispered softly as she sat down. Draco could barely even manage a smile before sinking back into his own thoughts. She pulled out a spare piece of parchment and began to doodle. They had sunken into silences before but this one was far from comfortable.

It was awkward, there was hostility between the two that had only been felt before they started dating. Back then, however, it was somewhat expected which made it that much less awkward and more like a ritual.

But now…

"Hermione…" Draco began and she titled her head towards him curiously. "Last night…" he started again. She let out a sigh, one which, unfortunately for her, Draco heard. He knew this wasn't a normal reaction. "Did you take me seriously?"

She gasped. Had it been a joke? Part of her was relieved, the other angry. At least now she didn't have to feel guilty for lying to him but what made him think he could toy with her emotions like that?

"Were you?" she asked, trying verify her assumptions.

"Very." He said and quickly turned his head away from her. Okay, now the anger and relief was gone. Her guilt washed over her again and it seemed even stronger than before, if that was even possible. She could see how serious he was. 

She had always thought that he was closed off but now… she couldn't remember the last time she saw someone so easy to read, he was just like a book and she could read even one with the most difficult vocabulary easily. He was open, too open, vulnerable.

He turned to face her again, his grey eyes were sad and Hermione could feel a sudden onslaught of tears coming. "Were you?"

She blinked, caught off guard. "What?" was the only word she could manage.

"Were you serious about it?" he repeated.

Now was her chance, to tell him the truth. However, her heart and her mind refused to function properly together. It was just like from one of those trashy romance novels Lavender and Parvati read sometimes. She almost burst into tears as a single word escaped from her mouth without her permission.

"Yes."

__

He wakes up to the sound  
So scared that she's leaving  
He wishes she were still asleep next to him  
Hoping she will change

~*~

She felt like burying herself underneath the sheets, pulling the covers over her head and never show her face again. God, for the smartest witch in their year she was pretty stupid. She had been given the opportunity to fix her mistake of faked emotions and she turned it down. And now Draco… poor Draco was _really_ under the assumption that she truly loved him. 

Hermione pushed the covers down that were covering her head and sighed as she sat up. To be absolutely honest to herself, she didn't know what she felt for Draco. It seemed their history had tainted a part of their relationship and that would never ever go away.

Hermione could suddenly hear all his insults running through her head. All the names he had called her – not just her, Ron and Harry as well. She supposed she hadn't made things much better by retaliating and slapping him in their third year but she had obviously been provoked. It wasn't normal for Hermione to do something like that under normal circumstances.

She tilted her head up to the canopy of her four poster bed, the rich scarlet material seemed duller with the numbed sense of emotions she was feeling. What did she feel for Draco? Could she ever love him?

How could she ever truly _love_ her old enemy, one who tried to make her life as much of a living hell as was humanly possible for him? Could she love someone who hated her friends – who her friends hated? Could they defy the unspoken boundaries of Hogwarts, holding back Gryffindor-Slytherin relationships?

How could she possibly overcome so many prejudices, and many more, with something she didn't even know would work out? For God's sake, she didn't even know how she truly felt about it. About _him_.

She had lied so much to cover their tracks, could she live her life as a lie? Could she continue to deceive all those she held dear for someone who had the reputation of being a player? How could she be certain that he wouldn't run off with some random floozy? How could she be sure that he even knew how he truly felt?

The questions, the endless amount of questions flooded through her head. It was as if a dam that had been holding them back for the past couple of months had suddenly collapsed and the elated feelings she ha previously felt had disappeared underneath a river of doubt.

She had to be honest to herself, to Draco. It was time to face up to the truth, painful as it was.

__

In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to at night 

~*~

Even if she said she loved him, a tiny seed of doubt kept telling him she was lying. Well, maybe not lying – she was confused and simply said what she knew he wanted to hear. Draco was simply wandering around the school. It was as if it made up for his brain which seemed frozen with emotion, but moving with confusion and doubt.

He had so much on the line with this relationship, if it managed to get past this. It could mean shunning by his housemates, shunning by his family, everyone could turn his back on him just because he chose to be in love with a Muggleborn witch.

Scratch that, if he had his choice, he would still hate her. Of course, that was virtually impossible now.

For Hermione, he knew she had a lot on the line as well. Sure, her parents wouldn't care but Potter… and all the Weasleys would certainly treat her with more of a closed mind. They might even think she'd be a spy for Voldemort. Draco almost laughed at the thought.

Even though he knew how much he loved her, deep down he knew that there would be a heart-wrenching moment of truth. When everyone who mattered would uncover their romance, when those who didn't matter would gossip anyway. It would be a Hogwarts' scandal – a Pureblooded Slytherin and a Mudblooded Gryffindor.

Draco suddenly realised that it was rather dark outside. He sighed and turned around, heading back to his dormitory to get some sleep. He lay down on his bed after bidding his friends goodnight, and fell into a fitful sleep.

__

You give me something to sleep to  
And all I know is  
You give me something to dream to 

When I'm all alone and blue

~*~

Draco seemed to be on the Quidditch pitch – what was he doing here? Then he caught sight of a spot of red and gold and another of green and silver on the other side of the field. His view of it suddenly became much clearer and he could even make out faces.

There was Potter, Weasley, the other two, Wood, him and… Hermione.

He couldn't hear what they were all saying but he could recall it from memory. This was when the Gryffindor team had found out that he was the new Slytherin Seeker and showed off their brand new Nimbus 2001s.

All at once, it was like someone had turned off the mute button on the scene in front of him and he could hear the voices, all strong and clear.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to _buy_ their way in. _They_ got in on pure talent."

Yes, Draco could definitely remember now. Then he heard his second year self snap back venomously, "No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood."

The scene blurred and he was suddenly at another. They kept coming, little tidbits in their four and a half years together when they couldn't stand each other. Little exchanges in the hallway, in the classroom, on the grounds. It seemed they never stopped.

How could he have fallen in love with her?

"Look at him blubber!" he heard his voice and he snapped his attention back to the scene in front of him. He, Crabbe and Goyle were on the grounds and laughing at Hagrid's form that was walking away. He also saw Potter, Weasley and Hermione nearby.

"Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And he's supposed to be our teacher!"

As he remembered how Hermione had slapped him in the face that day, a millisecond later, it happened right in front of his eyes again. He could feel a dull throb on his cheek, as if it remembered how much it hurt as well.

"Don't you _dare_ call Hagrid pathetic, you foul – you evil-"

Was that what she had thought of him? He never really listened to her opinions before and before he even had a chance to ponder, he felt his body somehow speeding up. It was like a Portkey in a dream and he was brought back to the beginning again.

__

'What the hell's happening?'

He watched everything again, all those spiteful moments in passing but there was something different this time. He could hear his voice quietly over the scenes. Someone had muted them and had his voiceover.

__

Don't leave me now

He called her a Mudblood but he couldn't hear it. He could only hear his voice, a desperate tone in it – one he couldn't really remember.

  
_Don't leave me now_

He watched as he tripped her over in the hallway, her books tumbling out of her arms.

  
_Don't leave me now _

He watched as he pushed her roughly against the wall of the library and take the book she was hugging to her chest.

__

Don't leave me now

He watched as he whispered 'Mudblood' to her during class and watched as the tears began to well up in her eyes.

  
_Don't leave me now_

He watched as she slapped him across the face outside the school in their third year.

  
_Don't leave me now_

He watched as he accidentally hit her with a spell that enlarged her teeth and watched as he laughed and she began to cry.

  
_Don't leave me now_

He watched as she laughed at him after Moody had turned him into a ferret.

  
_Don't leave me now _

Then a new scene came up. He was facing Hermione in a classroom and she was crying.

"Please tell me it isn't over." He begged her.

Draco opened his eyes and watched as the ground came closer to his face. He grunted as he fell from the bed, his legs tangled in his sheets.

He quickly pulled himself back up onto the bed and tried to slow his breathing and heart rate.

What did the dream mean? Was it a sign?

__

In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to at night

~*~

Hermione woke up the same way after having the same dream as Draco. However, unlike Draco, she came to her own conclusion about it and, this time, she was going to do it right.

She was going to tell the truth even if it killed her.

She ran around Hogwarts trying to find Draco and finally she saw him outside by the lake. She rushed out and hurried towards him. He looked up, surprised, when he saw her running.

"What is it? What's the matter?" he asked urgently. She shook her head to silence him.

"Nothing. I need to talk to you."

He swung his arm around and asked, "How about now?"

"Not here." She said firmly. "Meet me tonight. Ten o'clock. You know where." She finish just as firmly and walked away, leaving a bewildered Draco behind.

~*~

**__**

A/N: Okay, I hope that was okay. I hope you can see where this is going. Goodbye to You_ will be the chapter after this so you should probably go back and read that just in case. I'm sorry if some facts don't add up, I wrote that fairly early last year so I can't remember what really happened and I couldn't really be bothered to check. Sorry!_

Anyway, I'll reply to some reviews now:

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axisangel: LOL, short but sweet! Thank you so much for the review and adding me to your faves list!

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girldevil: You're relatively lucky, you didn't have to wait six months for an update. I promise the next one won't be as long!

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Ely-Baby: I'm so sorry it took so long, I really mean it when I say it won't take as long for the next chapter. I'm on and HP fanfiction and a Michelle Branch obsession right now so that should help! Thanks for adding this to your faves as well!

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Mizneep: LOL, you changed your name and I couldn't tell who you were until you sent me that email! Thanks for giving me permission to work with Hotel Paper_, I really need some of the songs to help the story along._

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Diaz: Thanks for the compliment! Also, thanks for clearing up what fanon and canon were. Who do you think is the canon couple involving Harry?

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Tizzy Dizzy Spizzy: Yeah, I did change my name last year. First I was Leprechaun Lover, then Elmo and then AcidAngelTears.

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Midnight Blue: I love your name! My favourite Japanese song is called Midnight Blue_!_

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reign of chaos: I think you speak for a lot of people when you say what you said!

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Miranda: Yeah, I love playing with people's emotions – I love angst!

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clare: LOL, sorry, honey, more than a month and you don't even read fics anymore! Oh well, I'll just shove you in here, just in case you decide you will one day!

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tommygurl: Yeah, amor omnia vincit and amor vincit omnia mean the same thing. I'm planning to do Latin next year which will probably kill me…

Thanks also to **Sweetly Seductive, Starburst, Evslin, Funky Slayer, LegolasLover, snoopy, Queen of Blahiness, Dreamer, Soledad, gumby, bubby, Melamin, Unicorn Baby, Red Dragon, A*n*G*e*L, CynicalBabe, Raven, Psychotic Gypsy, polaroid, oliver, butterfingers, make it happen, brother, Colours of Fall, Melian Nilromen, Dracorulz.**

I really promise that the next chapter will be up much faster than before. Let me see if this works because other authors say it does… when I get to… 270 reviews, I'll update. And if I don't get there within a month, I'll update anyway. Unless I haven't written it… well, it'll be less than six months, I promise!

Anyway, please please please review, I love them and you guys so much, especially if you're still reading this after such a drought! **Email updates, ask. **_I suppose at times like these, it's good to have them, eh? Anyway, thanks again, guys!_

Le gra go deo,

Cindy


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Harry Potter, Angst, Romance