Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1: WTF?

**Chapter 1: WTF?**

_What the fuck?_

Virginia Lauretta Weasley, more fondly known as Ginny, was lying on a sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room, and had been chewing the tip of her quill, hoping for inspiration on the subject of troll wars for her History of Magic paper, until she suddenly realized everyone in the Common Room was laughing………………..at her.

She got up slowly, wondering what the hell was wrong with everyone today. Everyone _including_ her brother, Ron, her best friend and Head Girl, Hermione Granger, and Her-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter. _Oh shit,_ Ginny thought frantically,_ I did **not** just think that. I don't like him that way. He's the okay brother I never had._

In the time she had taken to identify those people closest to her in the room, Hermione had pushed her way through the crowd and, still giggling herself, whispered in Ginny's ear, "Ginny, your blouse! The whole House is getting a free peep show!" Ginny had been wearing a lacy baby-blue bra which revealed much more than necessary, under her Oxford uniform blouse.

Ron, who had gotten over the shock of seeing Ginny's bra, having witnessed several similar images at home, proceeded to beat the living daylights out of every boy who dared gape at his little sister. Harry, who had been staring open-mouthedly for all of sixty seconds, had finally decided Ron's course of action seemed the best of all, and began, also, to give any wide-eyed boys two matching black ones.

Ginny, whose face mirrored the color of her hair, had buttoned up her blouse, and grabbed Hermione's hand and made a dash for the co-ed bathrooms that were one of the 'privileges' of sixth and seventh years. She cast a quick Locking and Silencing Charm on the door to make sure their conversation would be uninterrupted and un-eaves-dropped-upon. Then she turned to Hermione.

"Can you believe what A FUCKING FOOL I JUST MADE OF MYSELF?" Ginny's croaky voice grew to a full roar.

"Ginny! A-Don't swear. It's bad for you – and B-It's not as bad as you're making it out to be." Hermione tried to say reassuringly, "So you flashed a few people a glance at your bra. It could be worse. You could have been wearing not-so-sexy-supportive-garments. – and C- alright, so I can see you're upset, it would take a really thick wanker not to see that. What I don't get is why you're upset about _some_ kids seeing _some_ of your chest. I mean, even Hagrid's seen it-remember that time that it rained on the way to his hut, and you were wearing a white top? So what's the fuss?" Hermione now paused, looking ever the psychiatrist as she tilted her head to the side, waiting for Ginny's response.

"SHIT! A-Swearing is healthy, it's a form of releasing stress! And I said shit just to annoy you," Ginny grinned at this, she had always enjoyed swearing in Hermione's presence, as it annoyed her no end. "B-I would rather have been wearing a sports bra so no one would have seen my nonexistent cleavage! Besides, when have was the last time you even exposed your belly button, let alone your chest!" Ginny said, thinking _Take that Hermione, you know it's true!_ -and C- Hel-lo? Do I need an excuse to be just a tad bit embarrassed that THE ENTIRE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM SAW ME UNBUTTONED! Moreover, do _you_ not remember that obscure little detail that you lent me your extra-large sweater upon arrival at Hagrid's hut?" Ginny smirked in smug triumph, in having finally out-argued Hermione Granger, Head Girl, not to mention Cleverest Witch Of All Time.

_Dear Lord_, Hermione thought to herself_, She's beginning to sound like me…Hey, is that what I sound like? No wonder people doze off when I open my mouth…Oh yeah, back to her problem_.

"Ginny darling," Hermione began to drawl, "I love you, but if you really want me to give you my psycho-analytical advice, you're going to hafta be completely _honest_ with me." Hermione put extra emphasis on the honest and gazed straight into Ginny's eyes, a trick she picked up from her aunt (one of those FBI people who interrogate Muggle criminals in those dark rooms with just a single old kinda lamp hanging from the ceiling-**(A/N: y'all know what I'm talking about, right? If not, you need to watch more tv)** and Hermione learned all her psychologist techniques from her). This little action was 82 effective with friends and family, Hermione herself could attest to that, having used it a few times on parents, teachers (well, only Flitwick, and that was only extra credit! No really!) as well as unsuspecting Ron and Harry.

You see, Hermione knew Ginny was hiding something. Something she thought she was concealing very well from her BFF. But she was dead wrong.

Ginny knew perfectly well what Hermione wanted to know. Hermione had had for the longest time, this ridiculous impression that Ginny had a crush on Harry Potter. Of course, Hermione couldn't have been more wrong. For Ginny was 100 positive it was Ashton Kutcher (Ginny had picked up one of Hermione's Muggle magazines, and instantly fell in love) who was her soulmate. It was completely and totally brown short cropped hair and matching eyes that she was goo-goo for. How ridiculous was Hermione for suspecting it was someone with scruffy black hair and laughing green eyes, accompanied by such kissable lips and abs of steel (don't ask how Ginny knew they were steel) that made her sigh and daydream.

And of course, Ginny let Hermione know exactly that.

The funny thing, or rather strange thing was, Hermione didn't gravely nod her assent or even give Ginny a roguish wink to indicate her agreement. Instead, her eyes began to twinkle and moments later she was on the floor laughing her ass off.

"What? Why is that funny?" Ginny demanded.

"D-d-denial!" Hermione managed through gasps, and then returned to rocking to and fro with mirth.

There was a sudden rapping on the door. Ginny suddenly remembered they were in a bathroom that was supposed to be co-ed and available to all.

"OY! We made an allowance for your girl talk for over an hour, but now we really are in need of Hogwarts' facilities," a muffled male voice from outside the door said.

* * *

**(A/N: what do you think? This is my first try! I've decided not to post my next chapter until I get at least: ………………………………………...**

**……………………………………………………………………………………………**…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….** 6 REVIEWS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! **


	2. Chpater 2: Girltalk

**Chapter 2: Girltalk**

_Shit_, thought Ginny.

"Hermione, are you _sure_ you put a good Silencing Charm on the door" Ginny shook her frantically. "What if that's Ha-…Hannah at the door?" Ginny feebly attempted to recover.

"Oh, Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. Again, two things. A- are you seriously doubting my abilities as a witch, and B- you are sooo far deep in denial, Ginny, it's sad. Does it even matter who's at the door?" Hermione asked.

"_Yes_, Hermione, it does matter! I mean, someone might have heard!" Ginny whispered, looking around for anybody lurking in the shadows.

"Hello? Ladies? A little help here? In desperate, desperate need here!" the voice pleaded through the door.

"Heard what? According to you, you have no secret love for the Boy-Who-Lived, so what are you so worked up about?" Hermione asked Ginny teasingly. And with that, she opened the door grandly, only to gasp and shut it again.

It had only taken a quick glance at the shock of red hair for her to realize who it was and to retreat in shock.

_What's this?_ Ginny wondered, noting Hermione's hurried breathing and slight blush.

"ALL RIGHT, I SWEAR, IF YOU DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY, HERMIONE OR GINNY, WE WILL HAVE TO KNOCK IT DOWN OURSELVES!" a new voice threatened them, and now it seemed there had possibly been more than one guy at the door.

Hermione, by this time had fled to a stall, and locked herself in.

_Fabulous_, Ginny groaned to herself, reaching for the handle, _three guesses as to who, out of all the boys in Gryffindor there are, it will be._

In galloped Ron, Harry, and Colin Creevey, all three of whom sped first to the urinals, then remembering Ginny was there, respectfully withdrew to the stalls. Colin's recent admission to and past obsession with Harry may have also influenced that decision.

Hermione, after hearing all three stalls click and fasten, rushed out of her own, grabbed Ginny's hand and dragged her up to the girls' dormitories.

"Okay, Ginny, we both have confessions to make and we both know it. So here's my proposal: why don't we just both spit it out? I mean, we are best friends," She sped up nervously, noting Ginny's silence, "and we do share everything, so it only makes sense to share this, right?...Right?"

"I thought we had already settled this," Ginny said slowly, "I don't have a secret love, but never did I once suspect you of having any dirty laundry." Ginny was enjoying herself. She was going to drag Hermione's secret out of her.

"Oh. Well…ah….actually, er…um…I guess" Hermione was shooting out every 'delay word' known to English studying linguists, a sure sign that there was something that she had been keeping from Ginny. Somehow, she managed to pull herself together and say, "Oh, come on, Ginny, we both know that you like Harry, and th-that I like…..Ron."

Ginny realized there was doubt and definite low self-esteem in Hermione's voice. She also recognized the question underlying her confession. Hermione had, whether she intended to or not, asked Ginny if it was okay to like Ron. _Wow, _Ginny thought, _I guess I really have been kidding myself, I mean some Muggle celebrity (named Ashton-honestly who names their kid Ashton? ) I saw in a magazine over the real living kickass wizard boy she had obviously adored for years. _Emerging from her thoughts, Ginny realized Hermione was ranting and raving about how she really didn't say Ron, she said Rod, or meant to at least. Ginny snorted.

"Hermione. You are so completely right. As usual you have psychoanalyzed me correctly. I do like Harry," and noticing Hermione's face changing from shock to relief to smug satisfaction, sighed and a wave of girly crushed-ness came over her as she began to ramble, "I love his deep green eyes, ruffled up black hair, mouth, nose, ears, his Quidditch toned body, and calloused hands." and seeing Hermione about to break out into laughter said, "But I'm sure it's freckled redheads with clear blue eyes and tendancies to be jealous of ex's and overprotective of…"Ginny had to trail off, madly giggling at Hermione's vacant, dreamy expression.

"So, what now? I mean, do you think we ought to do anything? About Harry and Ron? It's j-just that, w-well…" Hermione began to stammer and that same nervous fluttering in her stomach and sudden acceleration of her heartbeat from a mere twenty minutes ago, returned at full throttle, and she finished her sentence, "it's just that…well, I've never been kissed."

**Allright, so I know I said I wanted six, and I know that I only have one (ahem ahem) at this point, but I'm actually on chapter five, I just haven't typed it up yet….so review or else, _suffah tha consequences!_**


	3. Chapter 3: Guytalk

**Chapter Three: Guytalk**

Harry, Ron and Colin emerged from their stalls, feeling immensely relieved. After washing their hands (keep in mind, they had suffered many lectures on proper hygiene from Hermione), they noticed the girls were gone.

"Toodle-oo!", Colin blew Harry and Ron a parting kiss, "Got lots of work to do, but call me if you need _someone_ to do!" He exited, not noticing Harry's and Ron's disgusted faces.

"Yeah….just to clarify, I don't drive on that side of the road." Harry said to Ron, in case his best friend was going to question his sexuality.

"Me neither! Except….there was that one time when…" Ron guffawed at Harry's pained expression.

"I'm-open-to-all-peoples." Harry said through clenched teeth, with a fake smile.

"Mate, I was only joking." Ron gave Harry an odd, furtive look, before saying nonchalantly, "I'm bored. Wanna play a few rounds of chess before getting down to work?"

"Yeah, sure. Procrastination is the best way of studying." Harry said.

Ron beat Harry six and a half times (the last game he hadn't quite brought down Harry's king, but he was almost there!) before realizing there was something on Harry's mind.

"Harry? Hey, you okay there? This," Ron finally destroyed Harry's king with a single move, "would make your seventh loss. SEVENTH!" Ron shook his head, not quite daring to believe it himself. "Is it the twins? I always suspected there was something secret going on between you three. You would always exchange these sneaky looks when…NO! I got it! It's Percy, isn't it? It's got to be! He's threatened you to stay away from me again, hasn't he? The stupid, fucking git, who I must admit is my biological brother…" Ron trailed off, muttering more incoherent contempt for Percy, who continued to ignore his family.

"Yes…and no…"Harry managed to choke out.

"What do you mean, '_yes and no'_? Ron inquired curiously.

"Well…I mean…ugh, forget it, it's too difficult." Harry said resignedly.

"Tell me, mate, when has anything been 'too difficult' for you to tell me," Ron had been on edge the whole week, and finally, it was all just letting go now, "or Hermione for that matter? Harry, we've shared everything together-our first broom rides to our first kisses (which by the way, I'll never forget-your face was priceless) to duels with V-Vol-Volde-mort himself! Dammit, Harry, you're my brother!" Ron had worked himself up, "Besides, honestly, I've the one who hasn't been completely honest with you."

Harry was half-moved, half-amused by Ron's tirade. And he _did_ notice the fact that Ron had said Voldemort's name aloud, instead of You-Know-Who. Not wanting to keep his secret from Ron anymore, he spoke.

"Before I say a word, will you promise not to get blow up at me? I've tried to hide it, to push it away, but I just can't help it and now I'm afraid of how you'll react-so when I tell you, promise me fists won't become involved for ten minutes at least" Harry was trying to ensure his own head start, knowing full well that Ron _would _blow up when he heard what Harry had to say.

"Sure, mate, wouldn't dream of using fists with _you_." Ron said, somewhat confused by Harry's troubled face.

_Not until you hear it for yourself_, Harry thought grimly, then plunged, "Well, the thing is, yes-it is one of your siblings. The other thing is, no-it's not any of your brothers. It's the only one who doesn't have a y-chromosome. I think, I think…I'm falling for her." Harry finally said.

Ron, who was slack-jawed for an entire 60 seconds, until he remembered it was his turn to talk.

So he just grinned and said, "We could be actual brothers."

"But now it's your turn," Harry slyly prompted, "Your exact words were 'honestly, I haven't been quite honest with you'. So, what did you wanna tell me? And don't try misleading me with 'oh, er, I got a D in Potions', 'cause I can tell it's something big, or otherwise you could have told me.

Ron swallowed and said, " Well…er, you know, I may have been a little caught up in the moment."

"No, no, Ron", Harry gently chided, "you don't get out of this _that_ easy. Come on, I did my bit, so now, you gotta do yours."

"Okay, so there's this girl, right?" Ron began, deciding to take the scenic route with several detours, "and she's bloody brilliant. My heart melts and I get a little crazy when she's around," he said, blushing furiously.

Harry understood what Ron was trying to do, but wasn't gonna let him get away with it.

"Hmm, okay, let's see, smart girls, most likely seventh years, who make you crazy," Harry pretended to ponder upon Ron's clues thoughtfully, knowing very well who Ron was talking about. "Padma Patil isn't dumb, and Fleur, she used to drive you crazy, but that would be kinda gross, ew, she's with Bill now, isn't she? Oh and there was Loony, er Luna, you know," Harry was practically giggling (they were manly giggles, no doubt) by now, Luna and Ron's first kiss together was still something he laughed at.

"Er, no. You know what I think?" Ron was scratching his head, and frowning, and as though talking to himself, said, "I think you already know. I do believe Harry Nicolas Potter is making fun of Ronald Thomas Weasley!" Harry rolled his eyes at this, but Ron oblivious to his action, continued, "So I guess I ought to just say this. Harry, for the past 3 and a half years, I've loved……..Hermione Jane Granger."

"Well, Ron, I must congratulate you! You still don't know how obvious it is to everyone. And even as friends, you guys still manage to pay each other more attention through your bickerings than anyone else!" Harry chuckled at this.

"So does _everyone _know this? Oh my god! Does Hermione know!" Ron asked urgently and red-faced.

"Of course, everyone except Hermione knows, she's oblivious." Harry replied nonchalantly.

Ron breathed a sigh of relief, and turned back to the chess board, then glancing at his pile of homework, groaned.

**Ladies and Gents-**

**just to clarify-Ron and Harry faced You-Know-Who in battle over their sixth year summer (but that's a different story) **

**I hope you review, cause I really am not getting a whole lotta response, and I won't continue to write under these conditions! It's just-just not humane, I tell you!**

**also, anybody know British words? I only know mad, barmy, mate, er, and bloody, but I'm sure there are more.**

**bye byez! doodlebag or bug or whatever the hell I named myself**


	4. Chapter 4: Espionage

_Flashback_

_Hermione began to stammer and that same nervous fluttering in her stomach and sudden acceleration of her heartbeat from a mere twenty minutes ago, returned at full throttle, and she finished her sentence, "it's just that…well, I've never been kissed."_

Chapter 4:

"Wait a second." Ginny said slowly, processing the information, as Hermione turned away. "What do you mean, 'never been kissed'? That's preposterous! What about Krum? Did you two never…ever…" Ginny trailed off.

"Ugh." Hermione groaned, _I shouldn't have said anything, she'll grill me like a beef patty on a hot summer's day._

"Her-mi-NEE!" Ginny whined, "'fess up! Come on, you can't leave a girl hanging like that! So spill! What happene between you and Krum if not secret snog sessions!"

Hermione could, at that moment, have been mistaken for a Weasley. Her face could fried an egg. But she recovered, and slapping Ginny's arm playfully, said lightly, "Ginny-that's none of your beeswax, and as if Hermione Jane Granger has in her life ever done such a dirty, scandalous thing!"

But Ginny kept at it, persisting in the whining, the pleading, the torturous actions that finally broke Hermione down as she surrendered.

"Well, allright, but Ginny, don't you dare tell a single person! Especially Ron, we both know how he'll react, all smug and triumphant, and I don't have to put up with that!"

"The thing is, Ginny," she sighed and turned as she said, "Krum and I were never really together. You know….as a couple."

"Oh…my….fucking….god! Are you serious? What do you mean? How is that possible? Why did you go to the Yule Ball together and get into that huge, GI-NOURMOUS fight with Ron about it? Ehy did he invite you to spend the summer with him? Why were you tied up at the bottom of the lake as Krum's most precious, treasured person? And-" Hermione cut Ginny's insistent questions off.

"Just listen, Ginny, because I'm only going to say this once." Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and began, "All fourth year, Viktor was…taken…with me. And because Harry and Ron were fighting, and Ron and I were fighting, and Harry was so moody all the time, I went with him a few times to Hogsmeade. Ron's sudden taste for veela girls may have also complicated the issue. Viktor was just there, and seemed to like me. I was lonely and bored and tired of putting up with Ron and Harry, so there we were, and all of a sudden, newspapers, magazines, Rita Skeeter, everyone was talking about us. It was scary.

"I had only wanted a friend, but Viktor had always wanted more from me. I suppose, deep down, I knew it all along, but I never really wanted to think about it. He _did_ try to kiss me a couple times, but I always moved. (So far my forehead, left eyebrow, nose and both cheeks have been kissed. But technically, I still have virgin lips.)

"The last night he spent here, he went too far." Hermione's eyes were glistening as she looked up at Ginny to see if she knew what she was talking about, and then continued, "I was so upset that I went to the bathroom and stayed there 'til God-knows-how-long. You see, h-he t-tried to..." Ginny put a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder and squeezed, "but I didn't let him, I didn't let him, and I ran. And he didn't follow." Hermione now looked up with anger flashing in her eyes.

"Two months later, I found out Krum had had a marriage arrangement the whole time, and was engaged to marry some other family friend's daughter. _Her_ name was Leyla, and in a letter-you could hardly call it that, it said _From the Desk of Viktor Krum_ at the top- I was told how lovely she was and given an invitation to the wedding.

"And that's it. Pathetic, I know…But I swear, if you breathe a word to anyone Ginny, I promise you won't be seen for a t least a month."

Ginny saw Hermione for what she really was. Injured to the point where she sought only to hide away secrets like crushes from even her best friend. She hugged her fiercely, after seeing her tear brimmed eyes.

"If we ever get our hands on him, we'll castrate him! Without magic or sleep drugs! I promise!" Ginny said forcefully to Hermione, which brought a weak smile from Hermione.

"Anaesthetic, Ginny" Hermione said, smiling and wiping the tears from her eyes.

_flashback:_

_Ever since fifth year, Ron and Harry had tried to figure out a way to get into the girls' dorms. The first time they tried, and failed, the entire Gryffindor tower laughed at them and they were the talk of the tower for a whole week. They decided to execute all attempts at manipulating the large yellow slide at night, so as to avoid humiliation. _

_All sixth year they tried potions, spells, charms, various plants with magical properties. None of their ideas worked. Until one night when Ron had a sudden, noncharacteristic brainwave. He ran up the boys' dorm tower staircase, got his broomstick, flew back down and over the slide. Harry was slack-jawed for a week and no one but Ron knew why. They decided not to even tell Hermione, as she'd probably be furious that **A**-they could potentially wreak havoc on the girls' dorms and **B**-that they figured something out before she did. _

PRESENT-BOYS' POV

It was using this method of flight that they used to fly up to the girls' dorms. They wanted to do a little espionage, to find out beforehand who the girls' liked, if anyone at all. What they heard were bits and pieces of Hermione's confession to Ginny about Krum.

"Viktor…he tried…bathroom…God knows how long…two months…engaged" was all they heard. Harry silently nudged Ron, who was in shock.

"Hey Hermione?" the boys continued to listen.

"Yeah, Ginny?"

"I really have to go."

"Go where? to bed?"

"No, no, to the loo."

"Ginny!

"What!

"We spent over an hour there and you still need to go?"

"Yeah! So?"

"Fine, just hold on a second. I need to put some pants on."

At this both boys' eyes widened, but both had different reasons for this. Ron was still in shock and hearing that Hermione was, well, pant-less, well, just froze him there. Harry on the other hand, knew that the girls would descend the staircase they were hiding on at any moment, and after much tugging at Ron's sleeves, they flew back down at record speeds.

"Crap!" Harry exclaimed on the way down.  
"What?" Ron asked.

"They're coming down and they've seen the slide!"

"I don't think we'll have time to fly up to our dormitories."

"Yeah, you're right, let's just try and look casual in the Common Room."

"What if someone sees us coming out of the girls' dorms?"

"uhhh…"

"Great…"

The boys must have had their guardian angels working together on this one, because the Common Room was empty. The boys heaved a sigh of relief, and tried to look inconspicuous and innocent on the sofas. Ginny made it down the stairs first. She glanced at the boys and noticed they were panting and had identical odd looks on their faces. Was it smug? Or maybe it was just fatigue. She merely raised an eyebrow at them. Ron raised one back, and she rolled her eyes in response.

The boys went up to their dorm, broomsticks in hand. As soon as Ron made it up, he began with the questions.

"What do you think happened between Hermione and Krum?" Ron demanded.

"Well I-"

"_I think_ that the bastard proposed to her, and she said no. That would cover the 'engaged' bit, wouldn't it?"

"What about the 'he tried' 'bathroom' 'God knows how long' and 'two months' bits?" Harry asked.

"I'm working on it, hold on. Maybe they went out for _two months_? and _he tried_ to get hitched with her in the _bathroom_? And as for 'God knows how long', I really don't know what to make of that." Ron sighed.

"Maybe, you're completely wrong. Maybe she was talking about something else. Maybe comparing boyfriends?" Harry tried to comfort his friend.

"Boy-FRIENDS? as in plural?" Ron groaned and flopped down on his bed.


	5. Chapter 5: Makeovers?

**flashback:**

"Maybe, you're completely wrong. Maybe she was talking about something else. Maybe comparing boyfriends?" Harry tried to comfort his friend.

"Boy-FRIENDS? as in plural?" Ron groaned and flopped down on his bed.

**chapter 5: _makeovers?_**

The next day, a Friday of a Hogsmeade weekend. Ginny had an urge to go out. She had a specific idea on her mind: makeovers. She really wanted to boost her friend's low self confidence, and a new look could do just that, as well as help her thick idiot of a brother to notice her.

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun! Shopping, maybe getting our hair and nails done, maybe getting a new look…You know, Ron might be interested in the Hermione outside of school…"Ginny let her words dangle over Hermione.

"Ginny, the temptation is oh-so-great, oh believe me, it truly is," Hermione began sarcastically, "but who knows? Maybe Ron would prefer me the way I am. Maybe they'll screw up with my hair-And let's be honest, it can't take much more screwing up. Then I'd just be worse off!" Hermione answered worriedly.

"'Mione, you know Ron is thicker than whole milk. He might only notice you if you try to _be_ noticed. Plus, even if he doesn't, other boys _will_, and _that_ he's bound to notice. Also, we don't _have _to cut your hair, we could just style it, and if you don't like it, we can fix it with this handy spell I picked up from Mum's florist. Sound good?" Ginny looked down at her best friend.

"Oh…all right! I'll do it! But only if you do something for me, which I will name later."

"What? You can't make conditions! I don't have to do any unknown little 'thing' for you!" Ginny felt Hermione's trap closing in all around her.

"Then _I_ don't have to get a makeover." Hermione replied smugly.

Ginny groaned. Whyever had she taught the art of debate and subtle trap setting to Hermione, the smartest witch in Hogwarts? It certainly hadn't been a wise decision.

"Fine. Deal. But it can't be anything I have to do in front of the family, okay? 'Cause that I flat out refuse, just in case." Ginny said narrowing her eyes.

"That's fine. Shake" and Hermione held out a hand. Ginny took it hesitantly and shook it, as if she expected her hand to go up in flames from Hermione's mere touch.

"I've signed us up for a weekend session with Lavender, Parvati and Colin, they're free, as long as we spread the word about their new buisness venture into makeovers. They work on schedules. Tonight we meet at Saffy's for the makeup phase-"Ginny was cut short.

"What! I thought you said it would just be the two of us! Phase? New? Schedules? Saffy's? Buisness? Session? Makeup? Venture? Tonight?-" Hermione began to hyperventilate.

"There! There you go! What did I say about blood pressure? DID you listen to me? You let your emotions go wild, and then you get over-excited, and now this!'

When Hermione finally calmed down, Ginny continued.

"Yes, Hermione, we're doing this the right way. Now tonight is only makeup. Saturday and Sunday are for clothes, because it takes more time to select clothes than makeup. Now, I don't care whether or not you can handle it, cause you're doing it whether you like it or not, and we shook on it."

"Fine! Gawsh."

**Several hours later…**

"Gin-ny! Can we stop _now_! We've been working for hours!" Hermione whined.

"In a minute!" Lavender said crossly.

"Seriously, as if _you _don't enjoy shopping" Parvati

"But I'm _tired_. And I wanna shower, and, and-" Hermione was interrupted.

"Fine! But you _do_ realize we're coming back first thing tomorrow, right?" Ginny said, smiling evilly

"NOO!" Hermione whispered loudly in a conversational scream.

"Yes!" Ginny said smugly.

"But-" Hermione tried to say.

"No buts!" Ginny said firmly, "Come on, we'll have showers and watch a movie with Colin and the guys in our _new_ outfits!"

"WHAT! A-I never said anything about _keeping _those outfits, and B- how are we gonna watch a movie?" Hermione was curious.

"Well Colin's charmed V-V-R/D-C-D player, duh"Ginny tried to act all Muggle-smart unsuccessfully.

"You mean, VCR/DVD player, right? And how did he manage to charm them?" Hermione was itching to know.

"Well, maybe you can find out when we're watching the movie tonight, and you WILL be in an outfit of my choosing!" Ginny said, first teasingly, then resolutely.

"But I never said I would-"

**At the Portrait of the Fat Lady…**

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked.

"Dragostea Din Te" Ginny said as matter-of-factly as she could manage. She and Hermione had been laughing non-stop all the way from Hogsmeade to Gryffindor Tower. They walked in, and collapsed as they caught sight of…


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance