Harry Potter 1. The Wager

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse. I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement. Just hurry up Jo, please :)

A/N: Thank you so much to cheering charm from (at least that's where I found her) She is beta'ing this for me, and her comments/ suggestions are very much appreciated. If you haven't read her work, check it out. (Even if she is a delusional H/Hr shipper smile) Thanks to her comments, there is only one interruption of Hermione's point of view in this chapter. I still don't know that it's perfected, but it's a lot better!

The Wager

Hermione couldn't believe it. It had been five years since Fred and George Weasley had flown out of Hogwarts, leaving their enchanted swamp in their wake as their last act of defiance towards the unbearable Dolores Umbridge. Although that prank had been truly deserved if ever one was, the Weasley twins in general had a knack of leaving unwarranted confusion and mayhem in their wake. One would have thought that after five years out of school, developing a viable business in 'party tricks and favors' as Mrs. Weasley called them, Fred's marriage to his long time sweetheart Angelina, and the recent birth of Fred's first born and George's godson, that the twin's would have matured slightly.

As Hermione brought Colin Creevy a glass of water, so that he could wash the last of the pop rocks out of his mouth, Hermione turned to the twins. As they tried to straighten their face and quiet the whoops and hollers that had overcome them, Hermione eyed them with an expression that was undoubtedly inspired by none other than the creator of these two pranksters, Molly Weasley. Stirred by the commotion, Ginny came bounding into the room. Though unsure of what had led up to the scene she was greeted by, Ginny knew well enough where to place blame.

"Fred, George! What on earth did you do to him?"

Colin smiled at his girlfriend, trying to subdue her infamous temper. He didn't wish to establish the precedence among the Weasley brother's that he was a delicate boy, needing rescuing by their little sister. "Honestly, Hermione and I were just discussing an old Muggle candy. Fred and George happened to have some on them, and allowed me to reminisce so to speak."

Rolling her eyes, Ginny looked at her brothers. "Not the 'pop rocks!'"

"I remembered being a bit frightened when I was younger at the explosions in my mouth, but I didn't recall them being quite that forceful," Colin chuckled nervously, while rubbing his lower jaw, gauging whether one of his lower molars had been knocked loose.

As Ginny turned on her brothers, her face reminded Hermione somewhat of a Muggle thermometer. She could see the flush rising in Ginny's face to indicate how close to her boiling point she truly was. Catching the desperation in Colin's eye, she decided to diffuse the situation. Having spent half of her life in the company of two very prideful wizards, Hermione recognized Colin's look for what it was.

"Aw, c'mon Gin, you wouldn't hurt your favorite brothers," Fred grinned up at her. Ginny had always loved her Forge and Gred, their joy of life had pulled her out of many a bad spot. After her first year at Hogwart's, it had been their laughter and inclusion of her in one or two plots targeted at Percy that had led to her memories of the Chamber to fade.

Shaking herself visibly, she squared her shoulders, "Oh no you don't, I might not be able to bring myself to hex you, but I can make sure that mum gives you a tongue lashing that will be heard from here to the Forbidden Forest."

As Ginny's words left her mouth, Hermione heard the Weasley's funny old clock. As she looked up, she saw the hand for Molly Weasley move from Diagon Alley to Traveling. Glancing over at Colin's pale face, to the twins' she knew she had to diffuse this situation.

"C'mon Ginny, we're all adults here," she began, giving pause to look doubtfully at a sheepish looking Fred and George. Hermione had no doubt they were envisioning their mother's reaction to their latest prank. "I believe that we can settle this in a way that even your brothers can understand."

Ginny's jaw opened as she spun to look at Hermione. "No offense 'Mione, but this is a family matter," she bit out, instantly regretting her statement. Hermione had been welcomed into the Weasley family with open arms many years ago. After that first summer spent at Grimmauld place, once Molly Weasley realized that the bad press the young witch had been subjected to was unjustified, Hermione had simply become the Weasley's ninth child. The eighth, being Harry, of course.

"Hermione, I'm, I'm…" Ginny started, seeing the hazy look that had come across Hermione's eyes. The downfall of Voldemort, had taken its toll on everyone. They had all lost loved ones in that final battle. But Hermione, it seemed had lost everything. Her parents, brought as bait. Ron, selflessly throwing himself between Harry and a mortal curse; Harry, destroyed in a final all encompassing blue light that took everything in that clearing in the Forest that night, including the bane of Wizards and Muggles alike with it. The Weasley's were the only family she had left now.

"Forget it Ginny," Hermione bit out, trying to swallow the bitterness and hurt, focusing on Colin. "I simply think that it's time these two get a taste of their own medicine," she replied, forcing her hands across her chest, shifting her weight haughtily to one side, hoping the bravado Gryffindor's were known for came through in her voice as she intended.

Fred and George remained silent, anticipating the war that was about to occur between Hermione and Ginny, and carefully listening for the _pop_ signaling their mother's arrival. Ginny eyed Hermione thoughtfully; her scowl softening as she considered her sister's words. Her eye's twinkled, as she heard the telltale sound of her mother apparating back to the Burrow.

"Hermione," Molly Weasley called from the other room. "Have Ginny and her new 'friend' arrived yet," she asked teasingly.

"We're all in here mum," Ginny called a smirk creeping to her face as she faced her brothers.

Molly walked into the room, and beamed at her sons. "Good thing I went out. If I hadn't, there would be no way I could have fed the two of you, much less everyone else tonight." As Molly removed her cloak and set down her parcels, she caught the snide smirk on her daughter's face and the looks of anxiousness from her son's her eyes narrowed. Trying to assess the situation, as she looked around the room her eyes finally crossed Colin. Turning her attention to the slightly peaky looking young man, she walked over to pull him into a motherly embrace. "Why, you must be my Ginny's Colin," Molly chuckled. "I certainly have heard many stories about you and that camera of yours over the years." Smiling as Colin's face reddened at the reference to his first years at Hogwarts, Molly cast a gaze over her shoulder again and continued, "I trust that you've been made to feel welcome," she questioned.

Taking a deep breath, and eyeing Ginny carefully, Hermione spoke up before the silence spoke for itself. "Colin and I were simply recalling our favorite muggle treats from childhood."

Ginny's smirk softened into an innocent smile, as she raised her eyebrows at her brother's and mouthed, "_This isn't over_."

Molly Weasley simply shook her head, unconvinced that her sons had not played some prank, before shooing the young adults out of her kitchen so that she could prepare dinner.

Once they had made it out to the area of the garden that served as a makeshift pitch, Fred and George fell back into their normal confidence. "A taste of our own medicine, _Hermy?_" George questioned.

If there was one thing she would throttle Ron and Harry for when she meets them in the next life, it would be divulging that ridiculous nickname. "Methinks, our little bookworm believes she can Prank _the_ Prankster's," Fred continued, before the twins fell onto each other in hysterics.

"Cunning, planning, skill," Hermione ticked off on the fingers of her right hand. "I'm amazed that the two of you have been able to manage it at all."

Fred and George's eyebrows lifted at her words. "Well, if it's so easy for the cleverest witch of our times, perhaps you would care to make a wager?"

Hermione considered George's words carefully, looking for a way to maneuver out of this situation. Before she could open her mouth, Molly Weasley, came out of the back door to where her children were standing.

"Ten days boys," the elder witch smiled at Hermione. "It's about time someone gave them a taste of their own medicine, dear," she added softly before turning to face Fred and George. "If in ten days, Hermione is able to successfully 'Prank the Prankster's,' Fred and George, you will arrange for Hermione to take a well deserved holiday. Ladies choice," she said with finality. "Hermione, if you do not succeed, you will volunteer your services as Fred and George's product tester for a month." Molly caught Hermione's look of horror. "What? I refuse to test those abominable products. And I'm tired of hearing Ginny complain. Besides, I have no doubt that you will win," she added with a wink, before turning back to her kitchen.

Leaving the young witches and wizards to themselves, Molly Weasley sank into a chair, allowing the weariness the war had brought on to surface. They had all lost so much to Voldemort; Harry and Ron, her husband Arthur. Molly's eyes smiled softly as she thought of her husband, who had lost his life the year before the final battle. Although she missed all of them terribly, she knew that their loss had also served to mend wounds.

As Molly's thoughts turned to her son Percy, she recalled the bittersweet joy that had come with his return to the Burrow. He had returned after a year with his new bride Penelope in tow. Though his love for rules and discipline had been misguided in following that old fool Cornelius, Molly was relieved that he had proven that he had not blindly followed a thirst for power to the dark side as some had believed.

When Percy and Penelope announced at Ron and Hermione's engagement party that they were expecting a child, Molly had stepped outside to smile up at the stars and her husband, knowing that he was smiling down on them. When Ron and Harry had fallen during the final battle, the same night that Penelope gave birth, Molly had cried. As the wizarding world rejoiced, she cursed; cursed Voldemort for marking Harry, Ron for following him, and Arthur, for not protecting them.

Not even the promise of her grandchild born as the dark cloud was lifted off the world could bring Molly out of her depression. For the first three months of her grandson's life, Molly had withdrawn herself from everyone around her. It wasn't until Hermione's mother, Elizabeth Granger, visited her in her dreams one night that she saw beyond those that she had lost, to those she had left to love. With a new charge, having been entrusted with the care of Hermione, Molly reclaimed her family.

It had been three years since Voldemort's defeat, and Molly had honored her promise. She kept a watchful eye over Hermione, concerned that the young witch was still deep in mourning, functioning only by immersing herself in work as an ambassador between the Ministry and a newly formed coalition for Magical Brethren. Her son's if nothing knew how to live life, Molly sincerely hoped that by engaging in this wager, the magic that kept her sons so full of life, despite the tragedies that befell their family, might bring back the girl that her youngest boy had loved so much.

"Arthur, Elizabeth, tell me I'm doing the right thing," Molly pleaded softly, as she pulled out the ingredients to prepare dinner for her family.

_"Ginny,"_ Hermione moaned. "What on _earth_ was she thinking?"

Hermione dragged Ginny away from her brothers and Colin, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. Launching into a tirade as to how she absolutely refused to allow the twins to use her as a lab rat for their products, she turned to Ginny in exasperation. Growing impatient as the youngest Weasley stood before her laughing at her rant, Hermione was astounded when the young witch finally provided the one answer she herself had not come up with. "Well then win!"

Hermione fell silent as her thoughts wandered back to Hogwarts. An "insufferable know it all," that's what Ron had called her. She chuckled nervously as she remembered that at one point in time, expulsion was her greatest fear. How Ron and Harry had put up with her remained one of life's untold mysteries. Her idea of fun had always been curling up with a large tome, uncovering some new bit of knowledge to carefully file away in her memory. It had only been the influence of her best friends that had allowed her to see past rules and regulations, books and assignments, to live life. They had showed her that in order to truly live life, she had to have fun. She had to learn to laugh at herself, and her obsessive-compulsive tendencies. She had to learn to interpret a situation, and decipher which rules could be discarded. She had to learn to look beyond her knowledge, and see people, really see people. Ron had taught her that one.

She doubted he had ever even read the Introduction to _Hogwarts: A History_. He certainly was nowhere near the top of the class. Yet, he had a spark of life about him, and a passion that was more valuable than any knowledge that could be gained in a book that had drawn her to him. He in his simplicity had been the one that taught her the value of laughter and fun. But as she considered Ginny's charge, "to win," Hermione realized that all laughter and joy had left her life three years ago in a beam of blue light.

Hermione faced Ginny, with tears in her eyes. "I c-can't. I'm no good at this. Unless you can find me a book titled.'How to Prank a Prankster' I'm a hopeless cause."

Ginny's eyes softened as she looked at Hermione. "Who better to have as a research assistant, than the pranksters' apprentice." Ginny wiggled her eyebrows playfully as a grin spread across her face. "Do you think they came up with the charms for that swamp alone," Ginny scoffed as she hooked her arms in Hermione's.

"Now the secret of the successful prank," Ginny started, as if teaching a course at Hogwarts on the subject, "is very similar to the practice of Muggle Magic. We have to distract them over here," she said, waving her right hand, "so that they never see it coming from over here," she finished, producing a Sugar Quill in her left. "Of course, we are at a significant disadvantage here, as they know that it is coming within the next ten days, so we'll have to come up with a pretty significant distraction to pull this off," Ginny continued as she linked her arms back in Hermione's and headed back into the Burrow up to her old room to scheme with the older girl.


	2. Day One: Recycled Pranks

In response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse. I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement. Just hurry up Jo, please :)

Again, thanks to cheering charm for beta'ing this!

Day One – Recycled Pranks

"Now remember Hermione, our whole plan depends on distraction. Fred and George will not expect anything elaborate out of you. They will expect for you to try them repeatedly over the next ten days, in the hope that you will catch them at some point in time."

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ginny. "I know, I know. Don't worry; I'll be perfectly obvious that I am trying to play some juvenile prank on them."

"Nooooooo," Ginny howled from inside of the fire. As Hermione shrank back into the chair at her flat and looked at Ginny's hair dance amongst the flames, she wondered for the fifth time since last night, what Molly Weasley had been thinking to suggest this wager and its terms. "Hermione, you might not be the most, well, playful spirit, but you are able to hold a poker face. If you are too obvious, Fred and George will see through it and put up their guard."

"Okay, so I have to be guarded, but obvious at the same time. Pretending that I'm trying to prank them, when I really am, but not right then," she asked exhaustedly.

"Well, yes. I think so at least. I didn't really follow what you said, but I'm sure you understand the plan ."

Hermione thought for a minute, and realized that no, she didn't understand the plan, not in the least. "Ginny, actually, there's the problem. What is the plan? We've covered the distraction, and I follow that just fine. But what is this grand plot entail?" Hermione saw Ginny chew her lip carefully, before starting, and felt her stomach drop. Seeing the young witch's hesitation indicated to Hermione that whatever she had 'masterminded' would probably be questionable at best. As she listened to Ginny's explanation, she began to understand why her fiancé had seemed so unhinged at times. "You are demented Ginny!" she exclaimed loudly. "You want me, to pretend, to… to… shag your brother's obsession?"

"Well, no. Actually, I want you to pretend to fall for my brother's obsession, and her in return of course," Ginny offered with a faint smile.

Hermione had always known that Fred and George's idea of humor was, well unique. They had always loved to take those small things that gave their siblings pride, and twist them to some form of shame. Percy's status as Prefect and Head Boy, Ginny's crush on Harry Potter, not to mention Ron's engagement to her during their seventh year. She had always assumed that this was simply a rare defect in twins, where they had to share bits and pieces meant for one person, compassion, couth, brain matter. But as she listened to Ginny's ramblings, she wasn't so sure the problem wasn't genetic.

"Honestly Hermione, you know how they are. George will laugh when it's all over, trust me. Everyone is aware that Alicia had a special relationship with her fellow chasers in school. If I'm not mistaken, Fred and George were there to witness it on more than one account. The only surprise that George will have will be to find that Hermione Granger, Head Girl, has finally re-entered the dating scene, with none other than Alicia." Hermione looked doubtfully at Ginny. "Trust me; this is all about surprise and distraction. The last thing Fred and George, or anyone really, would think about is your love life. Especially with another witch," Ginny added thoughtfully.

"You make it sound as if I'm repressed," Hermione replied indignantly. "Fine, I still think it's pretty cruel for you to do this to your own brother, but considering, you are the apprentice, and I have no other ideas, I'll play along. Tell me Ginny, how are you so sure Alicia will go along with it?"

Ginny grinned deviously before replying, "Let's just say, she and George have an old score to settle."

As Ginny's head disappeared from the flames, Hermione pulled out stacks of case files to review. As she was reviewing a complaint from a werewolf where a community not far from Bristol had banded together to purchase all available property upon his inquiry into purchasing a house, another head popped in the fireplace. "Remus," Hermione smiled as she looked up from the file.

"Hello Hermione, I hope I'm not disturbing you," he offered. Hermione, after assuring him that she was grateful for his call, insisted that he come through to join her for tea. As she returned from her kitchens to pour two cups, they began to discuss the case. Hermione knew that her old friend had a personal interest in this case, and had probably assured that it made it to the top of her files this morning so that they could discuss it, and he add his insight into the case. As they worked to try and develop a strategy to indicate that the recent purchase of all available land in that community had been solely out of a desire to keep the werewolf out, Hermione found her mind wandering.

She noted the time slipping past, and saw that she only had a half hour before she and Ginny had agreed that she would make her first decoy attempt against the twins. Remus, taking note of Hermione's distance, questioned her, trying to figure out what had the usually passionate girl when it came to the equality of all magical creatures so distant. Hermione, snapped back looking at Remus, trying to recall what he had said while she was pondering what her first prank would be. As she looked into his face, a smile came over her face, "Moony," she smiled.

Remus looked at her curiously; it had been nearly seven years since he had heard that name called. After Sirius passed, Harry had used it on one or two occasions, until Remus had forcefully requested that he call him by his given name. Startled at his own nickname, but somehow unbothered by it as he caught the curious look on Hermione's face, he looked at her expectantly, "Should I be worried," he questioned lifting an eyebrow.

Hermione grinned, assuring him that she just needed to repay a prank, and could think of no one better to ask than one of the original mauraders. Remus Lupin laughed heartily, as he considered Hermione Granger carrying out one of the retired pranks of the Mauraders. Smiling, as he began to reminisce about a former life he had shared with his best friends, Lupin considered that maybe this was a good idea. After all, before Azkaban, he hadn't known anyone happier than James and Sirius, two of the biggest prankster's he had known. He had watched Hermione over the past three years, and had seen whatever life she had found with her best friends slowly slip from her.

Hermione's eyes danced as she listened to Lupin recount a couple of stories of Sirius and James' seventh year. They had all been amusing, but the one that she held on to was one that James had played against Harry's mother Lily. "Well, James was quite the prat, if you didn't know. He loved showing off, especially for Lily. Unfortunately for him, Lily knew what a prat he was, and never fell for it. So, when he came to me, complaining about this crazy witch, who cared more about torturing bastards like Severus Snape, who hated the ground she walked on, Sirius jokingly suggested that he try torturing someone else for a change, and James, that crazy prat went and ran with the idea."

Hermione quickly thanked Remus for joining her. Glancing at the clock, she knew that she would miss Ginny. She quickly ran to freshen up, before walking out of her flat in Diagon Alley to head to the twin's shop. As she walked towards the back she hugged Colin and gave him a swift peck on the cheek. Noting quietly, as he flinched away from Hermione, she deduced that the pop rocks had caused more damage than he let on. Fred came out of the back first "Well, well, well," he called. "George, there's an ickle Head Girl down here."

George came bounding down the steps, fastening the last buttons on a flannel shirt that he wore. "Reckon she's here to prank us," he winked at Hermione before turning to his brother.

Taking note of the imperceptible nod that Ginny gave her, Hermione swiftly turned her back on the boys, walking over to the shelf. "Honestly, you all think I'm that thick. If that's what I was here for, I certainly would not come to your shop, on the first day," she started, reasoning that this was entirely logical. Had there been no other plan, despite Fred and George's expectations, she would have waited at least two days before attempting an attack. Hermione mindlessly browsed the shelves. "These things really should be illegal," she stated holding a box of the pop rocks that she was convinced had damaged Colin's teeth.

Walking up to her indignantly, much to Hermione's delight, George snatched the box from her. "These are the first in our new line for the season," he replied tersely, before Hermione accidentally caught her toe on one of the shelves, and fell back into him. Catching her awkwardly, he chuckled, "see they even knocked you off your feet," he replied.

Hermione gave an empty laugh, steadily sliding her wand out of the sleeve of her robes. "Viper..." she started, finishing the last of the incantation after George had forced the tip of her wand from his chest to her own.

George laughed as he watched Hermione startle, as a huge serpent wound its way around her body slowly. As Hermione felt the serpent's head go down the front of her robes, she was vaguely reminded of the Devil's Snare she had encountered in her first year with Harry and Ron, as she felt her limbs being slowly bound closer to her body. The only problem was; relaxing would _not_ help her this time. She glanced around nervously before stating as calmly as possible, "Finite Incantum anyone?"

George grinned broadly, before whispering to Hermione, "Valiant attempt, but you won't win using recycled pranks." As he winked at her and cast the spell, Hermione straightened her robes and stalked out of the store.

"Not bad at all for an amateur," Fred called after Hermione, raising his eyebrows obviously impressed. "Too bad she didn't know the Maurader's left more lying around the castle than that old map."

Ginny smiled inwardly. She was proud that Hermione had played her hand well. She kissed Colin lightly before rushing off for her lunch date. _"Now, to set the balls in motion."_ As she walked back to her flat, Ginny considered Hermione's anxiousness at her suggestion. She knew that it was hard for people to understand the jokes that she and her brother's found so much delight in, but George had a wicked sense of humor, and had no delusions of Alicia's duplicity in preferences. She knew that his greatest objection to the entire situation would be viewing Hermione as something other than the frigid book worm she knew he thought her to be. And that perception was firmly in place, _before_ she had closed herself off after Ron's death.

* * *

Thanks for all reviews, I think I'll probably wait until the end to thank everyone!


	3. Day Two: Bitter

In response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse. I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement. Just hurry up Jo, please :)

Again, Thanks to Cheering Charm, my beta!

Day Two – Bitter

Hermione awoke to an incessant pecking sound at her window. Rolling over in her bed, she reached to pull back the curtain to see Pigwidgeon tapping feverishly. "Pig," she groaned, as she rose to let the owl in.

_Blood_

_The third player is confirmed. Meet them today at the Leaky Cauldron. They'll take over from there._

_-lette_

Hermione chuckled as she found a cracker to give to Pig. Honestly, Gin was taking this a bit far. Cryptic posts, using their old code names, shortened from the insults their classmates had thrown their way. Hermione decided that she would floo her first thing.

As Hermione padded out of her bedroom and passed the kitchen, she deduced that _first thing_, would have wait until after coffee. She hadn't had a good nights rest in the past three years.

_As she had rushed out of the castle behind The Headmaster and Professor McGonagall, her heart had broken as the night sky was lit up in a brilliant blue light show. Sobbing hysterically, her only thought was, "I should be with them." _

This was the scene that greeted her slumber every night. It started out the same way every time but the ending had subtle variations. The bottom line was that her two best friends, her fiancé and the closest thing she'd had to a brother, the ones she had sworn to lay down her life for without hesitation, had sacrificed everything, for everyone without her by their side.

As she swallowed the bitter coffee, foregoing her usual teaspoon of sugar, lost in the bitterness of her dreams, Hermione swallowed back yet again, a scream that had yet to be unleashed. Her tears she was able to sacrifice for her friends, but she truly feared that were she to let go of the cry that had been welling up inside her once she discovered that her parent's had been brought to the battlefield, she would shatter whatever fragile bonds were left, holding this world together. Balling the note she had received from Ginny up in her hand, she through it in the fireplace before flooing Ginny. She only said two words before her head disappeared from the fire.

"I'm through."

With that done, Hermione pulled out the file she had been discussing with Remus, and continued her research .

* * *

A/N: I know, really short right. Well Hermione is barely making it guys. I call her a functional depressive. I mean, she can work, she can talk to people, she's not suicidal, but she's also doing nothing that makes her life worth living. This chapter, is more just to show how emotionally distraught she is I suppose, and how she solves everything, by burying herself into work.

Again, review responses will be at the conclusion of the fic... or maybe I'll just make another chapter and keep bumping it down to put all my responses in. let me know what you think!


	4. Day Three: Loosen Up Granger

**How to Prank the Weasley Twins in 10 Days**

In response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.

Summary:  Hermione lost everything at Voldemort's final defeat, including her sense of humor.  When Fred and George play an innocent prank on Ginny's boyfriend, a wager ensues.  Can Hermione beat the twin's at their own game?

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse.  I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement.  Just hurry up Jo, please :)

Thanks to Cheering Charm, my beta.  See A/N at end to see what elements of her story

Have been borrowed!

Day Three – Loosen Up Granger

Hermione awoke at the sound of a pop.  Looking around, she surmised that she had fallen asleep on the sofa in her study.  She headed to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee and wondered what brought Remus to her flat this morning.  _It can't be the case, _Hermione thought.  She had just begun reviewing it yesterday.  Remus knew that as thorough as Hermione was at her research, she wouldn't have anything for a few days yet.

"Do tell, Remus, why you would pop into my flat this time of morning," Hermione joked as she walked blindly into the kitchen, looking down at the file.

"Sorry to disappoint Granger, but alas I am not our dear old professor," a distinctly female voice called as Hermione dropped the file and looked up into the face of Alicia Spinnet. 

Raking her hands frantically through her hair, Hermione looked perplexed, as she tried to straighten the camisole and sweats she had changed into last night after dinner.

"So, the truth behind the grades finally comes out," Alicia grinned.  As Hermione looked at Alicia with confusion evident in her face, the elder witch fell out laughing.  "You are absolutely no fun.  I was joking, although it was obviously lost on you.  How you ever thought you could take on the twins is beyond me," Alicia laughed.  "I simply found it amusing you strolled in here so easily when you thought I was Professor Lupin, but now you're scrambling to make yourself presentable to me."

Hermione let out a nervous laugh, before pouring herself a cup of coffee and fixing some tea for her guest.  The girls soon slipped into the easy banter of old housemates; catching up on the whereabouts of old friends and their lives.  Alicia it turned out had been dating George off and on since he had left Hogwarts and was now a reserve Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies.  "In fact, you will never guess who I ran into last year during an exhibition game with Transylvania," Alicia started, pausing dramatically before finishing, "Marcus Flint!"

"I can't believe he didn't get caught up in the aftermath.  I thought sure he and the rest of those snakes would be hauled off to Azkaban," Hermione replied, the surprise evident in her voice.

"Well you know, he did, along with many others.  But it seems as if many of our classmates, Draco Malfoy included, had managed to stay on the periphery of Voldemort's circle.  As they were never branded, and their connection couldn't be proven to Voldemort, the ministry had to let them go."

Hermione digested that information.  She couldn't believe how out of touch she had become in her grief.  After she lost her parents, Harry, and Ron, Hermione had cancelled her subscription to _The Daily Prophet_, and stayed as far from the news of the Death Eater trials as she could.  Molly Weasley, after coming out of her own depression, had tried to keep her abreast of the situation, but it didn't take long for Hermione to make clear that she would gladly sever her last remaining ties with the wizarding world, if not left alone.  In Hermione's mind, nothing mattered anymore.  Everyone she had loved was dead.  And the monster behind it all had been taken with them.

It had not been difficult for Hermione to close herself off.  Her first two years had been spent taking mythology and classical literature classes at a muggle university.  Her parents had left her a sizeable sum of money to live on, as had Harry.  Those years had been very dark.  As Hermione had lived outside of the muggle world for so long, she had no friends to relate to.  Had it not been at the persistence of Molly Weasley, Hermione could have very well disappeared without a trace.  But over time, by respecting her grieving and boundaries, Molly slowly began reacclimate Hermione to society.  She started small those first few months.  Dinners were limited to the two witches who had lost so much.  Gradually, Ginny was added into the fray.  And eventually, Hermione could spend a meal with all of the Weasley's, even young Billius whose life had begun just as the life of everyone she had loved ended.

"I didn't know," Hermione stated, her voice distant as she realized how much she had missed in the past three years.

Detecting Hermione's change in mood, Alicia decided to get back to the matter at hand.  "I was disappointed that you stood me up yesterday," she joked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Hermione, caught off guard, let go of the memories. "I thought…I mean I told Ginny, I'm not going to do it."

Alicia smiled inwardly.  She had heard that Hermione had become even more withdrawn since she'd left school after the final battle.  Although she hadn't known her well in school, if there was one thing that she was sure of, Hermione was a formidable ally, as she had proven time and time again with her best friends.  All she needed was a cause.  After all, it was the formation of the Coalition for Magical Brethren that had lured Hermione back into the wizarding world.  Alicia knew that once she gave Hermione a cause, she would follow through without hesitation.

As Hermione listened to Alicia spin her tails of George's indiscretions, she found her reaction wavering between amusement and pity.  Fred and George had proven themselves throughout the years to be simple creatures.  They were wonderful friends, and their hearts were always in the right place, but they lived for the moment.  She was not surprised to learn that they had taken Ron out after Gryffindor had secured the Quidditch Cup in their fifth year.  She could have predicted that they had taken him to the back room of some pub, where witches would entertain for currency.  She stifled a laugh as Alicia wove a tail involving hurt and betrayal at seeing the object of her affection fraternizing with the witches employed to fulfill the wants of the clientele.  Growing weary of the tales of a betrayed lover however, Hermione searched for a way to politely invite Alicia to leave so she could continue with her day.  At least she did until her amusement and pity turned to indignation.

"If it wasn't bad enough to see George and Fred with their hands down some witches robes, they were determined to bring their brother into the mix as well," Alicia continued.  "Honestly, we watched as Ron protested that he only wanted to do that with you before acquiescing at their jibes that you would never be more than a fantasy to him."

Hermione swallowed the sobs that she could feel welling in her throat.  Sweet gentle Ron.  She had known long before he admitted it that he had liked her; that he considered her much more than a best friend.  But she had ignored it, in her usual stubborn fashion.  It wouldn't be proper for her to tell him how she felt.  No, that's simply not how things were done.  Everything had to be done in its proper order.  And if Ronald Weasley, couldn't come out and tell her how he felt, that was his problem.  It had been that stubbornness that had been Hermione's greatest regret.  She knew even if she had gone into the forest with Harry and Ron that night, the only thing that would have changed, was the death toll would have increased by one.  But had she not held onto her feelings for so long, she could have had more time loving Ron.  The thought of the twin's telling him he had no chance with her was infuriating.

Alicia studied the younger witch carefully, as she saw a flame flicker in her eyes; she knew she had tapped into Hermione's passion.  She had found a cause that she was sure Hermione would fight for.  "Honestly," she started, taking Hermione's hand in her own.  "It will be fun, and I have a feeling you could use the distraction," she finished, lightly stroking the inside of Hermione's forearm

Hermione briefly registered the sensation of the light touch on the inside of her arm.  It startled her slightly that it felt so soothing and so comforting, and that it was from another witch.  Hermione had never considered her sexuality.  It had always been Ron.  Maybe Alicia had a point; at least she could have some fun with it.  "Okay, what next?"

Alicia kissed Hermione lightly on the lips.  As Hermione gasped in surprise, Alicia replied, "Do loosen up Granger.  For this plan to work, they're going to have to think we shagged eventually!  Meet me at The Green Irishman around seven," before disapparating.

Hermione spent the next few hours attempting to concentrate on her case files.  "Oh honestly," Hermione she sighed, slamming shut the file she had before her.  Despite her diligent efforts to concentrate on her work, Hermione was still on the first page of the file.  Looking at the clock, Hermione decided to head over to bar early, hoping that her former housemate and owner would be in.

"Aye, Mione," Seamus called as she stepped into the pub.  Her eyes twinkled as her old friend pulled her into his warm embrace.  Seamus always had a certain charm about him that could make the ladies forget their worse troubles.  Three years out of school, married, and a father, he still had that same charm, and Hermione was really glad to see him.

"Step away from my man," a voice called jovially. 

"You must be Fiona," Hermione smiled pleasantly as she hugged Seamus' wife, noting her rounded belly on an otherwise slim frame.  "Well, well, well, Seamus.  It certainly seems as if you two have the luck of the Irish on your side."

Fiona's eyes danced as she stifled a giggle before excusing herself back to the storeroom.  Hermione and Seamus chatted idly as he kept her mug filled with butterbeer.  As six o' clock approached, the crowd picked up, and Hermione was left alone as Seamus turned his attention from her to his other customers.  Sitting alone in a booth, she pulled out a book she had checked out on the American Judicial system, and their laws against prejudice.  Turning to the dog-eared section on the Office of Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity, Hermione searched for any muggle practices that might be borrowed to help strengthen their case. 

As Seamus handed Hermione another butterbeer, she looked up and smiled gratefully at him before turning back to her book.  Picking up at the passage where she left off, Hermione noticed the text of the muggle case she had begun reading fade as a large message scrawled in messy handwriting appeared. 

_Save me Please!_

Looking up from her book startled, Hermione finally caught George's eye.  Giggling without thinking she watched him screw his face up while opening and shutting the fingers on his right hand, mocking his Sister-In-Law who was dragging a very sheepish looking Fred into the pub by his ear. Hermione stifled a giggle as she threw George a kiss and waves, before looking back down at her book.

"Honestly 'Mione, you would think we weren't almost family," George stated in mock agitation as he approached her table. 

A smile played at her lips, as George's jibe reminded her of the incessant banter she and Ron would throw at each other while in school.  "Well George, I couldn't possibly consort with the enemy, now could I," she retorted, allowing her eyelids to flutter shut innocently before smiling at him.

"You wound me," fair maiden, George stated dramatically, grabbing his heart in a show of anguish.  Hermione laughed heartily, before taking a swig of her butterbeer. 

"I can assure you George Weasley, that you will get no information out of me.  Honestly, lowering your self to spy.  Am I making you nervous," Hermione questioned, leaning close to George and raising an eyebrow.  He was slightly taken aback by Hermione's retorts.  This game that she was playing, why, it almost bordered on flirting, and well, Hermione Granger didn't flirt.  Taking her hand, and raising his eyebrows, George kissed the inside of her palm lightly before assuring her that it took a lot more than a clever witch and Head Girl's badge to make him nervous. 

Hermione watched as George dropped her hand, and moved to pull out the seat across from her.  "Well ahhh, I'm kind of, expecting someone," Hermione began, blushing lightly at George.

George, obviously astounded that she had been at the pub to meet someone, hastily apologized before excusing himself from the table.  __

As she watched his retreating form, Hermione called out lightly, "George, do recall that I have seven more days," causing his steps to falter.

Over the past three years, George had not known Hermione to date, smile, or joke.  He had seen all three from her, in the past ten minutes.  As he proceeded to cross the pub, she called out to him again.  "Actually, seven and some change, I do believe the night is still young."  Grinning despite himself, George began to wonder whether he knew as much about Hermione Granger as he thought he did.

A/N: The Green Irishman and Fiona Finnigan comes from a wonderful H/Hr fic _Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  by_ Cheering Charm.  It can be found at 


	5. Day Four: Strike Two

**How to Prank the Weasley Twins in 10 Days**

In response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.

Summary: Hermione lost everything at Voldemort's final defeat, including her sense of humor. When Fred and George play an innocent prank on Ginny's boyfriend, a wager ensues. Can Hermione beat the twin's at their own game?

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse. I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement. Just hurry up Jo, please :)

A/N: Drinks and pub supplied by cheering charm in her story Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. She's also the Beta ya'll so read her! She's good.

Okay, Cheering Charm made some lovely points, and I hope I addressed them all, if there is any confusion, look to the end of the chapter to see if my insight clears it up.

Oh yeah, for update info, and to find out the mundane, boring crap that goes on in my life I have a livejournal. My username is the same (gryfforin) so feel free to visit!

One last note. I'm going to do a chapter just for review responses, and I'll bump it down with each new chapter. Hope that works for ya'll!!! Now to the story.

Day Four – Strike Two

"Aye, morning George," Fred called from inside their shop, up into the flat George kept upstairs.

George growled something incoherently and he turned back over in his bed, pulling a pillow firmly over head unwilling to surrender to his pounding headache or the coming day.

_"Oh Great, I'm still drunk_," George thought as he felt his torso trying to float off the bed, waiting for the familiar sensation of the room rotating to overtake him. Laughing hysterically, Fred removed the levitation charm he'd placed on George's pillow.

"I'm sorry, should I leave you two alone," Fred laughed inclining his head towards the death grip that his brother held onto the pillow.

"Did you ever consider knocking? I could have been otherwise indisposed," George growled as he sat up slowly, lifting his hand to rub his temples, hoping the movement would turn down the volume of the world.

"No you couldn't have," Fred replied snarkily as he summoned his brother a glass of water and cast a sobering charm.

"You know, I could have brought someone home with me," George supplied, knowing his brother had seen Alicia huddled up in the corner whispering with Hermione, as they had left the Green Irishman last night. After walking with Fred and Angelina to their flat, George had decided to head back to The Three Irishman in hopes of catching Alicia before she made it home.

When he had reentered the pub, he took a seat at the bar, across from Seamus' wife. Groaning as he recollected his order, "One Flaming Incantation, Fiona." George had been determined to take advantage of the sedative qualities of alcohol as opposed to evaluating what Alicia was doing here with Hermione that had them sitting in such close proximity.

'I have to thank Fiona,' George thought as he recalled her refusing his drink order as she observed his mood. Placing a mug of ale in front of George, Fiona had attempted idle chatter to bring him out of his blue haze, before surrendering and leaving George alone with his drink and memories of the past__

_"Hey, wait up Leesh," George had called, chasing his girlfriend up the streets of Hogsmeade, trying to catch up with her before the carriages that would take the students back to Hogwarts arrived. George couldn't believe that he actually saw her shoulders tense as he called her. While their relationship had been far from conventional, George and Alicia had been seeing each other for two years, and had grown quite close. _

_George watched as the girl turned slowly, not missing the glares pointed in his direction from Angelina and Katie as well. Lee and Fred chuckled behind him, wondering what he had done to manage securing the wrath of the Girls of Gryffindor. As George pondered the same question, he was relieved to see the glares of the girls broaden, to focus on his brother and best mate as well. "At least they'll have to spread their wrath," he thought before Alicia interrupted his thoughts._

_"Don't call me that Weasley," the she started, shoving his right shoulder hard as she closed in on him. "This is my final year at Hogwarts, and just because you have decided that you are beyond this whole school thing, doesn't mean I'm not going to enjoy it!"_

_"What are you talking about Leesh, of course you should enjoy yourself, we can catch up on Hogsmeade Weekends, love," George replied, reaching out to cup her chin and smile at her. _

_"You must think that I am a fool George Weasley. You expect me to sit up at that castle, and wait anxiously for a Hogsmeade weekend while you're out here doing God knows what," snatching his hand off of her before grinning. "Tell you what George, in honor of all the good times, I'll consider giving you the occasional call, for old times sake."_

_"That's not fair Leesh. You know Fred and I would love to be there with your girls, but we couldn't stay there with that frog faced woman. Someone had to teach her a lesson," he had countered almost pleadingly._

_"And I George, need to teach you one. I will not spend my year idly playing dutiful plaything while you are here in Hogsmeade living it up," Alicia finished icily, turning on her heels, Angelina and Katie glancing apologetically over there shoulders as they followed her up the path. _

_Although George had played dumb back then, in the back of his mind, he had known that Alicia had somehow found out about his excursion to the Hog's Head. True their relationship wasn't monogamous, but, they had an understanding. After all, Alicia had certain preferences that no wizard would be able to fulfill. So Alicia dated George exclusively, but was free to have interludes with other witches. As George was not interested in dating wizards, it was understood that Alicia was the only one. In just one night, many fire whiskey's, and some lousy snogging with one of the Hog's Heads 'hostesses', George had managed to ruin any chances for love with the witch that had captivated him since first year._

Shaking himself back into the present, George found himself grateful that Fiona had served him nothing stronger than ale last night. He jerked as his Fred called out, "C'mon mate, get your lazy arse up and floo her. It's been a while. You all should be due for a tune up."

The ale might have blurred his memories from the night before, but not enough to erase the images of Alicia and Hermione sitting in a corner talking quietly and giggling. George had known Alicia long enough to recognize her flirting and as he had witnessed her letting her hand fall to cover Hermione's; or her raising her hand to brush some of Hermione's locks out of her face he had chosen to leave the pub, the contradiction of Alicia's flirting, and her companion being too much of a contradiction to process in his inebriated state.

As George started to raise his concerns about what Alicia had been doing at the pub last night, Fred cut him off. "I knew you'd go back to try and catch her, but you couldn't have gotten that knackered. You do recall who she was there with." George listened to his brother's arguments, and felt relieved. He was absolutely right. Hermione Granger had, for all intents and purposes, become a social recluse. In fact, he was quite certain the only reason they knew anything about her life was because their mum insisted that she join them for dinner once a week. It was preposterous to think that Hermione was dating anyone, much less Alicia Spinnet. That was the thought George held onto as he threw the Floo Powder into his fireplace to call on Alicia.

"Leesh, darling, it's been too long," George called as his head popped into the fireplace. Giggling Alicia dropped to her knees on the hearth to give George a peck on the lips.

"I should have known to expect your call. I saw you eyeing me last night," Alicia grinned at her old lover.

"Well, yes. I realized how much I'd missed your, er, company," George smiled sheepishly.

Alicia giggled, before running a finger along his jaw line. "Don't tell me my George has gone timid. Too scared to ask for a shag?"

George swallowed, cursing himself. It had been five years since Alicia had downgraded their relationship, and in those five years he had never gotten accustomed to asking to be intimate with Alicia. If he were to tell the truth, he would let Alicia know that he knew she must have found out about their evening in the back room at The Hog's Head, and that he'd never be unfaithful again, if only she would take him back. But George could never seem to find the right words, and so he simply nodded carefully, hoping that Alicia would agree without him having to ask outright.

Alicia dropped her hand, and her eyes flashed a look of uncertainty for a moment, before she answered, her voice sounding serious, "Actually George, we…we can't. I've met someone."

Using his humor and wit as a crutch and trying to mask the disappointment in his voice. "Well, you could always bring her along," he replied hopefully; knowing that even throughout the years, Alicia had never been serious with another wizard. Although they were no longer together, George had always taken solace in that she still did not turn to another man for her needs.

"No, no I can't," Alicia said.

George thought he caught a glimpse of something in her eyes. Regret? Hurt? As he slowly accepted the fact that after five years, Alicia had moved on to another wizard he lowered his eyes before replying, "I hope he makes you happy Leesh."

"Actually George, she does," Alicia replied softly.

"Not, you couldn't mean…. Hermione?"

"Granger? No, of course not. It's Ginny, George," Alicia snapped facetiously, obviously offended that George would dare question her relationships. As George's heart sank, he knew that he was the one that had set into motion all of the events that led up to this point. If only he hadn't been so stupid all those years ago.

Later, as Ginny and Hermione watched the exchange from that morning in Angelina's pensieve, Ginny couldn't help but hold her sides as she laughed. _"If he only knew,"_ she thought wickedly as Angelina continued in the memory to reassure George, that Hermione had changed a lot.

"Honestly George, I would think that even you would have taken notice that she had grown into quite the witch. I know that you have always admired a woman with curves, and if you'd open your eyes, you would know Hermione certainly has them in the right places."

Hermione looked at Alicia who had stepped into the memory with her and Ginny. Simply shrugging, she added, "It's true 'Mione, you are quite easy on the eyes."

Blushing, Hermione returned her focus to the scene before them, but not before Ginny leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Don't worry, the Girls of Gryffindor could and have made many a straight witch consider switching teams." Hermione giggled, as she considered many of the stories that had flown about the castle regarding The Gryffindor Chasers.

After her morning visit with Alicia and Ginny, Hermione returned to her flat to try and get some more research done for the case she was investigating for Lupin. Glancing at her watch and realizing that she had just over two hours to make progress on this case, Hermione sighed. This wager was more than a bit distracting, and she was somewhat resentful that all of the other parties involved seemed to have all the time in the world to dedicate to this prank whilst she had to find time amidst her research to try and outsmart the twins.

Grinning to herself, Hermione realized that her bookish nature was about to pay off. If her she were able to pull this off, perhaps, she would out prank the Weasley twin's, and do it in a manner that could only be described as "very Granger."

"Ahh, the lovely Miss Granger," Fred intoned. "Back for round two?"

Hermione allowed a smile to dance across her lips, as she blew a kiss to Fred.

"Aunt 'Mione," a small voice squealed, as Bilius Arthur Weasley flew across the joke shop into Hermione's arms. Smiling to herself, Hermione hugged her nephew close to her. As the toy broom that had carried the toddler across the shop, zoomed into a table, dismantling their display of Pop Rocks, Hermione kissed the top of the young boys head before pulling her wand.

"Ahh, that's alright 'Mione, George and I can get it," Fred offered, his voice wavering.

"Honestly guys, you couldn't possibly think I would do anything harmful with Billy here," Hermione countered indignantly. This proved a little too good to be true. Hermione had wondered how she would manage to pull her wand in the shop without interference from the twins in order to carry out her plans. "Now a simple clearing charm should do the trick," Hermione thought out loud. "Adfectio Bibliotheca," Hermione incanted.

As the twin's looked around, Fred burst into laughter. Hermione, pleased with herself, turned haughtily to see George pulling several Galleon's out of his pocket. "Hmmm, perhaps Greece, or Egypt. Although, a trip to the Carribean would be exciting as well," Hermione considered, a smug smile on her lips.

"Actually Hermione," George began, as he pulled a book off of one of the shelves and handed it to her. "Fred and I had a side bet. He said that you're ultimate prank would be to convert our entire inventory into books." Dumbfounded, Hermione took the book that had been presented to her, and read the inscription on the back. _"For our student patrons, Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes understands your need for discreet packaging. We now offer our products, concealed with a charm developed and endorsed by one Miss Hermione Granger, to ensure that your fun loving nature will not arise any suspicions when left in the open." _ Hermione looked about the shop that now more closely resembled Flourish and Blotts than the twin's beloved joke shop. "Go ahead and open it," George urged.

As Hermione opened the tome, her pride sank the packaging of the Pop Rocks returned. "It was actually a good prank 'Mione," George offered.

"Brilliant acting; and the ease with which you went about carrying out the task; you would have carried on just fine," Fred added.

"If it weren't for the twin factor," Fred and George chorused together, laughing at how they had preempted another strike from Hermione. "Shoulda known it would be _Hogwarts a History_," George laughed.

As Hermione watched the two brothers, their arms wrapped around each other, laughing at her, feelings of nostalgia swept over her. How many times had Ron and Harry done just that, poking fun at her fondness for the rich history Hogwarts held. Unable to suppress her mourning for her best friends, Hermione broke down, before running from the store in tears.

As she wandered aimlessly down the streets of Diagon Alley, Hermione considered how drastically her life had changed in the past ten years. When she had stepped onto the Hogwart's Express, embarking on a journey that would change her life, Hermione had been a small mousy girl. Her refuge taken in books and knowledge, she had never made many friends in the muggle world. She had known that there was something bigger than that which she had grown up knowing. Although her parent's for many years tried to dismiss her childhood incidents as coincidence or misinterpretations, she'd always known that wasn't the case.

The girl who was always slightly unhinged, that her experiences could not always be grounded in science and fact, thought that her journey to Hogwart's would be the answer to her prayers in that she would learn truths that were formerly unavailable to her. Little did she know, that the knowledge of magic she gained at Hogwarts would be minute in comparison to the relationships that she would forge there.

Her friendship with Harry and Ron, brought about a passion within Hermione; passion that was only given to knowledge, before she saw the value in knowledge of people and self. As she reflected on the comfort, and peace that time spent with her friends had given her for so many years, Hermione realized, that she was barely more than a walking corpse.

Losing her dearest friends and her parents had shattered her world to the point that she had blocked herself off from the world. The only emotion she could acknowledge was grief and anger. It was her only refuge, knowledge and reason. When Hermione felt an arm drape across her shoulder lightly, tears staining her cheeks, she felt the icy shell that had covered her being for the past three years melt. Not caring who had offered her this gesture of kindness, she did the only thing she could do. Turned, and cried.

* * *

Confused about anything. If so maybe some of this will clear it up for you.  
  
1) Katie, Angelina, and Alicia were still at Hogwarts without the twins because of their flight under Umbridge

2) George had first assumed that Alicia was seeing a she, well it was more of a hope. He had been the only wizard in her life for so long, and he knew that she would still call on him if it was a witch. Another wizard, well that was a bit more serious.

3) George wasn't mad when Alicia said she was dating Ginny because she said it sarcastically

I think that's most of the things she had pointed out. And if you all are like duhhhh, please realize her pointing out my errors, made me do some major rewriting to make it all flow a lot better. Thanks to her you all are spared a flash back within a flashback, and a whole lot of skipping inner dialogue!


	6. Day Five: Bedfellows

In response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse. I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement. Just hurry up Jo, please :)

A/N: Drinks and pub supplied by cheering charm in her story Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. She's also the Beta ya'll so read her! She's good.

One last note, I'm going to do a chapter just for review responses, and I'll bump it down with each new chapter. Hope that works for ya'll!!! Now to the story.

Day 5 – Bedfellows

Hermione woke up with a groan and a splitting headache. _"Who dropped the piano on my head,"_ she thought as she gingerly opened her eyes to the blinding sunlight of the morning. Rolling over she fingered her wand on the nightstand and mumbled, "Nox," attempting to extinguish the offending sunlight and appease her head. Having momentarily forgotten that even she did not have the power to turn off the sun, she threw her arm over her eyes and turned over in bed.

"Umph," someone beside her groaned. "'S too early… A few more hours…"

Shaken from her groggy state at the intrusion of another's voice, Hermione bolted upright in her bed grabbing her temples in an effort to alleviate the pressure and spinning that resulted from the sudden movement. Turning over to see who had spoken, Hermione startled at the sight of broad freckled shoulders and short red hair. Rubbing her eyes, she reached out to touch him. _"It couldn't be,"_ she thought as she looked at the back of the man that reminded her so much of Ron.

"Aright already," George groaned as he turned over to look at Hermione. "I suppose I've outlived my usefulness," he joked as he stretched and slowly pulled himself up to sit on the side of the bed.

Feeling dizzy, disoriented, and well, disgusted, Hermione fell back against her pillow. _"This is NOT happening,"_ she thought as she desperately tried to pull into focus the blurred images of last night. She could remember leaving the joke shop in tears, and George catching up with her and consoling her. Vaguely catching an image of Seamus' incanting '_DINOYSUS INFLAMARE'_, Hermione groaned.

She tried to ignore the _Weasley Wizarding Wheezes_ circling the waistband of George's boxers as she watched him turn to look at her; fighting the embarrassed flush she could feel rising to her cheeks. "'Mione," George started, looking as she tried to bury herself beneath her frazzled mane of hair. "Relax, last night…"

"Was a huge mistake," Hermione finished, rolling over and climbing out of the bed to aching muscles. _"What on earth did he do to me,"_ she thought as every muscle of her body cried out in pain. As Hermione grabbed her wand again and cast a sobering charm George chuckled.

"I have no idea what you think is so funny, George Weasley, but…" she started, before George silenced her with a wave of his hand.

"Relax, nothing happened last night. I just saw to it that you made it home and you asked that I stay. Though I must say, I didn't know you could put them back like that 'Mione."

Chuckling, George recounted the evening in excruciating detail so as to assuage Hermione's concerns. As she sighed in satisfaction that she had simply had one too many of Seamus' concoctions, George's eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Although," he started grinning, "I'm sure re-creating whatever scene you just imagined could be fun," he teased, snaking his arm around Hermione's waist and pulling her back on the bed next to him playfully.

"George Weasley! How could you?" Hermione replied indignantly, jerking from his gasp.

George straightened himself, all of the humor draining from his blue eyes as he reached to step into his trousers. "Of course," he replied. "I wouldn't want your _girlfriend_ to get upset."

Hermione was too shaken by the innuendo in his previous statement to take any joy in the fact that their prank seemed to be working. "Don't you dare suggest that this has anything to do with Alicia George Weasley! Whether I am with her or not, I can not _believe_ that you would dishonor Ron by coming on to me like that."

As Hermione folded her arms and turned her back to George, she didn't notice the flush and scowl that had come to his face. "I'm going to pretend like you didn't say that," he started, trying to suppress his anger as he spoke. "On second thought, I don't think I will," he snapped, causing her to turn and face him. "I am sick and tired of you running around acting like you are the only person that lost someone, Hermione. Ron was my brother for God's sake! Don't you know I would give anything to have him back? Mum lost a husband, a son, _and_ Harry, but she's spent the past three years tiptoeing around _you_. We all have. Why? Because that's what they would have wanted and _you_ are a part of this family; you have been since first year."

"George, I didn't mean," Hermione started, her shoulders trembling again. She couldn't stand the emotional wreck that she had become. Still, she couldn't control the emotions that overcame her either. "I know you all lost… I didn't mean to suggest… I…I'm sorry," she stammered as silent tears streamed down her face.

Taking her in his arms and embracing her tightly George shushed her. As he laid her head against his broad chest, he spoke gently, "Hermione, they wouldn't want to see you like this. If you let their death kill you then you're dishonoring Ron. You're dishonoring them all. They died to protect you. They _wanted _you to be happy and to live and love." Hermione tried to block out his words. She knew they were true but she couldn't bear to let go of her grief. That's all that she had left of them.

George stayed there comforting Hermione for most of the morning, interrupted only when Remus apparated into the apartment to check on the status of the case file Hermione was reviewing. Remus barely raised an eyebrow upon finding Hermione in her bedclothes, nestled against George's bare chest, before disapparating with a pop.

"I meant what I said Hermione. You haven't been living these past three years, at least not in any way that matters," George stated softly, holding Hermione's head and looking into her eyes.

"I just can't George. I should have been there with him. We swore that we'd die to help Harry but I wasn't…"

George cut Hermione off before she could finish, turning to his tried and true defense mechanism. "I see what you're doing," he stated grabbing hold of her chin and lifting it, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. "You're trying to distract me so that you can pull your master prank. Aren't you," he continued softly.

Hermione tried to curb the smile that came to her lips. As she dried her eyes she smiled up at him and said, "Oh George, this is so silly. We should forget the whole thing. Honestly, we're carrying on like children."

Grinning, knowing his diversion had been successful he continued, "Really? Fred will be delighted to know we don't have to worry about tricking Ginny or Colin into testing the new line." As Hermione's tear stained face quickly sobered in a look of horror, he said, "Relax Hermione, we're going to carry on with the bet. Remember, it's all in fun!"

Hermione stifled a short laugh as George stood to fasten his trousers and retrieve his shirt. She lowered her head in embarrassment when she caught herself admiring his broad shoulders and strong legs. As Hermione began to realize how little she had on, looking down at her bare legs beneath the thin nightshirt, a voice from the kitchen only stood bring a flush to her cheeks.

"Consorting with the enemy 'Mione," Ginny called from the kitchen.

"Gin, I didn't hear you arrive," Hermione replied as she stepped out of the bedroom into the kitchen, quickly fastening a robe about her waist trying to gain her composure.

"Of course you didn't," Ginny replied, raising an eyebrow as George stepped into the kitchen and buttoned up his shirt. "You were too busy keeping my brother company in your bedroom."

George snickered at his sister's remark as Hermione flushed again. "Actually, I was trying to convince him of how ridiculous this whole bet was."

"And that required he take his shirt off, how?" Ginny countered, folding her arms across her chest and shifting her weight to one leg.

As Hermione struggled to find a reply George finished buttoning his shirt and brushed past her to take his sister in his arms, "Now Gin Gin, you've ruined our surprise. Hermione didn't want us to tell the family until she was officially a Weasley. You have to promise you won't tell Mum," he finished hugging her until Hermione thought that Ginny might burst.

Laughing, Ginny pulled away from her brother and swatted his arm playfully. "Oh stop it. I saw Seamus earlier. He told me you were trying to carry Hermione out on your back because she was too far gone to make it home on her own. I know that even you wouldn't take advantage of a lady in her moment of weakness."

Hermione laughed as she watched the banter that came so easily between the siblings. She could remember how Ginny and the twins had loved to get on Ron about anything. "He's so easy," they would say as Hermione giggled in silent agreement at watching his face fluster as he struggled to find a response to the jibes thrown his way.

Ginny turned to face Hermione as her laughter escaped her lips. "I don't know what you find so funny Miss Granger, but I can assure you that no one is pulling out of this bet…"

"That's what I told her," George interjected.

Ginny paid her brother no mind as she finished, "Because, you're going to beat the pants off of them. Now get ready. We have a big day ahead of us," Ginny added, shooing Hermione off to the bathroom to get dressed and George out of the house.

"Think tropical brother dearest," Hermione heard her call as George prepared to leave. "I think Hermione could use a bit of paradise don't you?"

Once George had left Hermione reentered the kitchen retrieving a glass and a pitcher of orange juice. As she took a drink from the glass, she nearly sputtered as Ginny spoke again. "So, you spent the night with my brother, eh?"

Hermione swallowed the orange juice deliberately caught off guard by the question. "I thought you said that Seamus explained it to you," was her reply as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the question. She watched as the young witch's eyes sparkled mischievously.

"Oh he explained to me that George escorted you home. I can only assume that you were still upset by whatever set you off yesterday afternoon and he didn't want to leave you alone last night. It doesn't however explain why at quarter to twelve, he was still in your bedroom half dressed. You all must have woken up hours ago."

Blushing, Hermione replied, "We were just talking Ginny. He told me that I needed to let go of my grief, that's all," ending the discussion.

Once Hermione had showered and dressed, her head now clear from the alcohol induced haze that had lingered into the morning, Ginny dragged her into Diagon Alley. "What are we doing here?" Hermione asked as Ginny pulled her into Madame Malkin's. "I thought we had 'big plans', she challenged as Ginny led her about the shop.

"We do, but they're not until this evening. So today, we shop," Ginny replied. "Besides we need to find you some new robes."

Hermione groaned. She had not been able to properly research her files for Remus and she knew that he was counting on her. She wasn't sure that she was up for a night on the town. "What are these plans?" she asked. "I really think that I need a night of rest after drinking those blasted concoctions of Seamus'."

"Relax Hermione. Fred and George are being honored at a banquet for small businesses tonight. We were all invited as their guests and the invitations said to bring a guest. I'm taking Colin and you're taking Alicia."

Ginny and Hermione spent the rest of the afternoon roaming the streets of Diagon Alley, stopping in for some ice cream at Madame Fortesque's and spending a half an hour browsing the titles in Flourish & Blotts. As Hermione observed the old clock in the bookstore, Ginny rushed up to her indicating that she had agreed to meet Colin fifteen minutes ago. Hermione waved off her apology before picked up another volume off of the bookshelf, looking up as Ginny called back, "I'll be by at seven to pick you up."

The banquet was very nice despite the nasty looks that Fred and George sent to Hermione and Alicia. She knew that this was a bad idea, dampening George's night by Alicia's presence. He was supposed to be celebrating. Staying only until the twins were presented with an award for Innovation and Commitment to Excellence for last year's product line, Hermione stood to excuse her and her date, ready to flee the uncomfortable situation.

They walked out of the hall; Alicia's arm snaked about her waist, "for appearances," as she had informed Hermione. Once out in the cool night air, Alicia giggled. "I think they're falling for it Granger," she laughed pointing out the glares that had been sent their way throughout the evening. Hermione shook her head, still unable to comprehend why everyone seemed to find this concept of playing with George's mind amusing.

Alicia must have sensed her concern, because she pulled her closer to her. "It's alright Hermione, it will all be fine in the end," she assured, before pulling Hermione close and planting a sweet kiss on her lips. Hermione startled and looked into the older girl's eyes before she pulled away.

"Come on," Alicia stated, you look like you could lose a drink.

Hermione simply groaned. She had no desire to wake up the same way she had this morning. She was quite certain that she had had more than enough to drink. "Relax, Hermione. We barely spent an hour at the banquet. I promise that I'll have you home and in bed by a decent hour," Alicia replied smoothly, grabbing her hand and pulling her through the streets towards Seamus's bar.

Seamus grinned at Hermione as she stepped into the bar. "Didn't get enough last night didja," he questioned winking at her before smiling at Alicia. "Now, don't you let her get out of hand. I doubt that you can carry her home."

Hermione and Alicia laughed as they ordered two butterbeers. "I think this is more your speed," Alicia offered as she pushed the mug of butterbeer towards Hermione.

Relaxing, Hermione took a sip of the warm drink smiling as they slipped into a casual banter about the people that had been in attendance that evening. She struggled to contain her laughter as Alicia made fun of one witch who had been rather plump. "Someone surely saw her before she left for the banquet. Honestly, a fishnet robe over a latex cat suit? She could have been as thin as my wand and I would still think her to be nutters!"

Shaking her head and vowing not to comment as she was not one to talk negatively about people, Hermione decided to change the subject. "Yes, but George looked quite nice didn't he?"

"I suppose," Alicia conceded reluctantly. "Although I find it interesting that you would notice. After all, he was there with his twin brother who was wearing the same thing…"

Hermione felt a blush creep to her cheeks. She had spent an inordinate amount of time considering George since they had parted company this morning. Thinking quickly she responded, "I actually just thought that after this was over you two could, you know…"

Alicia's face drew into a scowl hurriedly. "I wouldn't waste another second with that good for nothing, two timing, juvenile Weasley."

Wishing she hadn't mentioned the possibility of the two reconciling, Hermione apologized profusely. She found it odd, this whole scenario that Ginny and Alicia seemed to be orchestrating. I mean honestly, Alicia might say she didn't want anything more to do with George but just playing along with this prank showed that she still felt some strong emotions for him.

Hermione watched as Alicia got up from the table to place another drink order. As she returned with a Fire Whiskey and butter beer, she smiled. "It's okay Hermione. I guess after all of these years I'm still hurt. I'm hoping that once this is over I will have gotten him out of my system. But enough about him; you really do look fabulous tonight."

Ginny had chosen a Coral colored Robe, fitted at the waist for Hermione. Beneath her robes she wore a fitted strapless black dress that stopped at mid thigh. While she would never voice it out loud, Hermione had thought the ensemble both elegant and sexy, neither of which she had felt for many years. As she played with a tendril of hair falling from the up do Ginny had secured for her, Hermione felt her cheeks flush.

"Surely you know how hot you look Hermione," Alicia laughed in disbelief as Hermione shrugged her shoulders, decidedly uncomfortable when the conversation was focused on her. "You are positively hopeless," was Alicia's only response before pulling Hermione to the dance floor.

The two witches laughed, as they swayed to the fast paced music that was playing in the bar. As both witches were quite attractive and looked to be having a good time, countless wizards made an attempt to join them on the dance floor. They would simply giggle. Allowing the men to dance with them for a few moments before moving away to dance together again when the wizard rubbed against them the wrong way.

They had been dancing for nearly an hour when a slow ballade came on. Hermione knew that it must be getting late as Seamus tended to leave the music loud and thumping until he was ready to calm his customers and encourage them to return to their own homes. Starting towards her seat, Hermione was pulled back by Alicia inviting her to dance.

Hermione was unable to state a valid reason to decline Alicia's dance invitation as they had been dancing all night. She placed her arms awkwardly around Alicia's neck.

"It's just a dance you know," Alicia whispered in her ear.

"I know," was Hermione's reply as she focused her attention on the melodies of the guitar strings.

As the song ended and Hermione raised her head to pull away from Alicia she was startled to find lips descending towards her own. Unable to move, Hermione was confronted with a wave of conflicting thoughts as she felt Alicia's lips brush her own softly.

On the one hand, she knew that she held little interest in Alicia. She could say that she was an attractive witch but she didn't know that she could say much more than that. On the other hand, Hermione had not felt lips against her own since Ron had died, and she was positively intoxicated by the sensations.

Alicia pulled back from Hermione's lips, wiping the corner of her mouth where their lipstick had smudged. "I seem to recall promising that I'd have you home and in bed at a decent hour," she mused, a smirk playing at her lips and eyes arched suggestively.


	7. Day Six: Back to Work

  
  
In response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Potterverse. I do however own my own obsession with this world J.K. Rowling has created, along with some pretty perverse ideas to "encourage" her completion of Book Six.

Okay, I don't even own perverse ideas, so, no FBI, no Auror's, no British Law Enforcement. Just hurry up Jo, please :)

I also can't believe I neglected to mention that a lot of inspiration comes from one of my favorite movies "How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days"

A/N: Drinks and pub supplied by cheering charm in her story Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. She's also the Beta ya'll so read her! She's good.

Review Responses are at the bottom, I don't think the additional chapter thing was working.

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Day 6 – Back to Work

Hermione awoke to the sound of a pop in her apartment. Groggily she took the pillow and put it over her head. "Not this morning, Remus. I'll floo you later."

The sound of laughter that was definitely not characteristic of Remus Lupin floated in from the kitchen along with the comforting aroma of coffee. "It's not Lupin," the source of the laughter intoned as she heard the cabinets opening and shutting.

Hermione bolted upright in her bed with a groan. This wasn't happening. For the past three years she had gotten along just fine without anyone in her bed. And for the second morning in a row, she was climbing out of a bed that was occupied by someone else; the ex-girlfriend of the man she had woken up with yesterday no less. All of a sudden Hermione considered everything she had thought of Lavendar and Pavarti and realized that if George made his way into the bedroom, those thoughts might be applied to her.

"Why on earth did I let her in here last night," Hermione questioned herself furiously as she stood up to get a robe quietly, hoping to excuse herself from the room without waking Alicia. Of course she knew the answer to that question, although she did not honestly want to admit it to herself. Hermione had never thought that she would consider getting involved with a witch. No, she would never get involved with a witch, not seriously. She had a hard time of convincing Alicia that early this morning when she awoke to the witches hands seeking to remove her pajamas long after they had fallen asleep. Honestly, it had been so long since she had spent any time just talking with anyone, that she had gotten wrapped up in her evening with Alicia.

The kiss, although it had felt wrong, was decidedly innocent. Everyone's tongue had remained rightfully in the proper mouth and any uneasiness Hermione had felt with the familiar gesture had been outweighed by the ease of their conversation over the evening. The way they had giggled like school girls about the large witch at the conference, even the teasing Alicia had directed at her regarding George, it took Hermione back to a time when life had been simpler. Before the war, before she had lost Harry and Ron. She hadn't wanted to let that go.

So when Alicia proposed that she stay for a good old-fashioned sleepover, Hermione's protests had been minimal. Alicia argued that since Hermione worked from home and could easily tell Remus that she would meet up with him later in the day. Work being Hermione's only security blanket and excuse, she really had no other reason to argue.

The evening had started out quite lighthearted. She was indeed reminded of her days in Gryffindor Tower when Alicia summoned some past issues of Witch Weekly and cast the charms to put Hermione's hair in a variety of fashions. The last causing the girls to erupt in a fit of giggles as Hermione's hair was cast in an up do with several knots formed at the crown of her head. "I look like a moose with too many antlers," had been her response before she quickly released her hair to fall back across her shoulders.

"Cream... sugar," George's voice called from the kitchen, causing Hermione to hasten to meet him before he burst into her bedroom.

"One teaspoon of sugar would be lovely," Hermione replied as she stepped through the bedroom, closing the door carefully behind her. "I didn't expect to see you this morning," she stated as she pulled a hand through her messy curls.

"I wanted to check in on you after your early departure." Hermione saw George looking around the room and wished she had taken the time to clean up last night before she and Alicia had retired. There were a couple of wine bottles still on the floor, along with her old albums from Hogwarts from where she and Alicia had later relived tales from school. "Although it looks as if I should have stopped in last night. You weren't here drinking alone were you," George asked with a concerned look upon his face.

"Actually, she was in good company if I do say so myself," Alicia yawned as she stepped into the room. Hermione noted that she had removed her pajama bottoms and not bothered to fasten her robe before coming out to the kitchen. She inwardly cursed Alicia for this sadistic fascination she had with getting back at George.

"I see," George replied coolly as he looked between Hermione and Alicia. "I'm sorry if I've interrupted your morning," he started before Hermione interrupted.

"George, don't. Honestly, you weren't interrupting anything, we were just..."

George cut her off, "You needn't explain anything to me Hermione. I shouldn't have come unannounced. I won't make the same mistake again," he added as he pulled his wand out. "By the way, mum wanted me to remind you about dinner tomorrow, I'm sure there's room for one more if you'd like to bring your _friend_," he added before apparating away with a pop.

"Shit," Hermione exclaimed as she picked up the mug of coffee that George had prepared for her before Alicia came out.

"Bloody Brilliant is more like it," Alicia countered as she came over to plant a kiss on the corner of Hermione's mouth with a mumbled 'morning.'

Taken aback by Alicia's kiss, Hermione slammed the coffee down on the counter before turning to face the girl. "Honestly Alicia, I thought we'd covered this last night. I'm not interested in you, or any other witch for that matter, in that way."

"You didn't seem to mind when I kissed you last night before we apparated back to your flat," Alicia countered with a grin on her lips.

"That would have been before I woke up at an ungodly hour to find you trying to undress me. I think that you're taking this a bit too far for a so called prank."

Hermione picked up the mug of coffee again, taking a slow sip of the hot drink, trying to still her racing mind. She hated this game that she had agreed to. She especially hated that she now knew without a doubt that she was being used by Alicia and to some extent Ginny to satisfy some stupid need for revenge. On the other hand, George and Fred had been unwilling to allow her to bow out gracefully without becoming a guinea pig for their latest inventions. With only four days left and having failed horribly at her own lighthearted attempts at pranking the twins, she didn't see a way out of this mess.

Alicia smiled as Hermione sipped quietly on her coffee and walked up to drape an arm around her shoulder. "Hermione, I thought you had been around the twins long enough to know that with them, nothing is too far for a prank. The only rules here are that we need to make them believe that we are serious. I simply thought that no harm could come of us enjoying ourselves in the process," she continued raising an eyebrow suggestively at Hermione. "You do enjoy my company don't you?"

Hermione shook her head in exasperation. She was too tired for this conversation. "Alicia, enjoying your company is one thing. Enjoying your attempts at snogging is another matter entirely. Now if you wouldn't mind, I would appreciate it if you would get dressed and leave me so that I could get some work done."

Alicia shrugged and went back into the bedroom to change. When she returned she cast a small smile at Hermione. "Alright Granger, I get your point. But if you decide that you've changed your mind..."

"I won't," Hermione replied curtly.

Alicia laughed lightly at the tone in Hermione's voice. "Alright, see you tomorrow at the Weasley's..."

"No, you won't." Hermione finished emphatically. "Molly has been like a mother to me, and I will not take this ridiculous game to her home."

"But it's only three more days," Alicia started, disappointment evident in her voice.

"And George is already convinced we're shagging. I have no doubt that this ruse will be successful, but it will _not_ be played tomorrow night," Hermione continued leaving no reason to further discuss the matter.

"Fine," Alicia replied, drawing her wand, "I'll expect you to floo me tomorrow after you return then," before disapparating, leaving Hermione alone with her files.

Hermione sighed in relief as she refilled her coffee mug and went into her library. She pulled out her reading glasses as she opened the case file she had been neglecting since this senseless game had begun. As she read through the case file it seemed as if Mr. Waldon Montgomery had actually been raised on the property that was up for sale. He had fallen victim to the bite of an unregistered werewolf shortly before his eighteenth birthday. Considered a fully qualified wizard, his parents had sent them from their home, unable to face the ridicule that would come with having a werewolf as a son.

Although they had not allowed him to return to their home, they had not disinherited him and Montgomery had been able to find work giving private training to muggle children as he was a gifted musician. He had led a humble life, unwilling to spend the money provided by his parents on himself, rather donating it to various potions masters throughout Europe working to alleviate the atrocities of the change for werewolves. For the past forty years Walton Montgomery had distanced himself from the wizarding world almost entirely, only making himself known through donations and his monthly visits to safe houses where werewolves could take a wolfs bane potion and be secured to ensure that they did not harm any humans during their change.

Hermione shook herself mentally. She had successfully left the world of magic for a short time. It had been a struggle for her, a muggle born. Even beyond the grief she had been trying to cope with, living as a muggle was a difficult task once one had become acquainted with magic. She could not imagine what sacrifices one who had been raised around magic their entire life made when leaving.

As she continued to read the file she smiled. The property that was for sale was being sold by Gringotts. After fifteen years had passed without any word from the late Montgomery's son, the bank had taken it upon themselves to liquidate all assets. It seems as if now that Waldon had returned to the pristine little community, the neighbors were attempting to pay Gringotts to ensure that the property did not fall back into his hands.

"Ahhh Hermione, found some time to review the Montgomery file I see," Remus smiled as he stepped out of the fireplace, dusting the ashes off of himself.

Hermione smiled shyly at him before responding. "I'm sorry I've been so distracted lately Prof... I mean Remus," she corrected as she caught his disapproving look at being referred to as if he were still her professor.

"It's quite alright Hermione, I'm glad to see that you are spending time away from work for a change. I must say, I wish we could afford to delay with this case so that you could take some much needed time to enjoy yourself. Unfortunately..."

"I know how time sensitive this case is," Hermione smiled at the werewolf. "And now that I've read through the file, I don't think we will necessarily even have to question the legality of them denying Mr. Montgomery the opportunity to purchase the property."

"Is that so," the old werewolf replied raising an eyebrow. "I must admit, I have not gone through the case file myself. I suppose that I have become quite reliant on your research capability, and stick to keeping up with the overall operations of the Coalition."

"Well yes," Hermione continued eager to share the details that her old professor had not bothered to look into. "The property in question is actually a part of his parent's estate. Waldon's mother it appears died shortly after his father sent him from home, and his father, well they believe he went mad over the next twenty-five years. In any case, he was found one morning, naked with bottles of fire whiskey all over the floor. The house elves when questioned said that he had refused food and drink other than fire whiskey for months."

"How pathetic," Remus replied with an unsympathetic growl.

Hermione cleared her voice before continuing, not wishing to allow Remus the opportunity to share what he thought about the Montgomery's. She of course felt their behavior abhorrent; however it would not aid them in the least to dwell on that aspect of Waldon's situation. "Gringotts position is that as Waldon Montgomery has not come forward to claim his inheritance in the past fifteen years, he has forfeited it to the bank. Montgomery, having lived outside of the wizarding world for years, is not aware of our laws and has not chosen to question this."

"That's absurd. Unless the boy has been disinherited they have no right..."

"Of course they don't," Hermione continued. "They can however after fifteen years liquidate the assets of an estate if no heir has stepped forward to claim their inheritance. It seems as if Waldon did not become aware of his parents passing until one of his benefactor's contacted him to notify him that the normal donation had not been received. When Montgomery finally contacted Gringotts he found that a deposit had not been made for fifteen years and that the estate was for sale."

Remus smiled brightly, "Well I certainly think that Mr. Montgomery will be happy to hear what you have learned. I think that I will contact Bill Weasley to see if he can knows anyone that will ensure the property remain on the market while we sort this out. In the meantime, fancy a trip to Bristol?"

Hermione smiled at Remus brightly as she thought to herself, _I certainly could use a break from this madness_, before nodding her assent. "Not tomorrow though, I have dinner with Molly."

"Fine," Remus replied, "the day after, we'll leave first thing."

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REVIEWS:brilliant-author16: three reviews, wow, will take them in turn. 1) I try to update every other week or so. It depends on real life, and my betas schedule really. 2) No, alas, Ron and Harry will not be making any surprise returns. They are dead, gone, beyond the veil, and prayerfully, Harry is with his parents and Godfather at peace! 3) Hermione was engaged to Ron, it was introduced in the first chapter The Wager, I believe it was during Molly's lil segment. Haven't re-read the beginning in a while, but I'm confident it's there. Thanks for following the story, hope you like the update!  
  
George's Brother Fred: Glad that you're enjoying the story, hope this installment lives up to your expectations!  
  
LovesFantasy: hehehehe, what can I say, always love to see you in my inbox, be it a review or otherwise. I hurried up and got this out to the beta when you told me this was your favorite, so this update is for you. ummmm, Angels and Demons, what's that. Nope no idea what you're talking about hide  
  
YankeeTorp: I totally feel you on the Hermione/Alicia thing. It is awkward, but remember Hermione has cut herself off from all except the Weasley's mainly Molly. She's kinda stumbling back into the swing of things, and Alicia is like your regular old girlfriend one minute, the next she's kissing her. Very awkward indeed, but I think it'll work itself out in the end. Wait I know it will, I'm the author :)  
  
padfootedmoony: man I love your nick. (((thinks of schoolboy mauraders wandering the forbidden forest -- I must go read shoebox project once this is updated))) Glad you like the fic, and I hope I didn't make you wait too long!  
  
Thalia05: Really glad you love the fic. I have to credit the ship to the challenge, it's a title challenge and this was one of the suggested titles, or something very close to it. I thought about How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and this just started coming together. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
  
Dragon Blade5: Glad that you like it!!! Look forward to seeing what you think of this chapter!  



	8. Day Seven: Contagious Frivolity

**Warning** Ron and Harry are already dead. So, don't read if anticipating trio hijinks  
**Disclaimer**:Potterverse ain't mine. But ummm, I can play right? And I should add. I love How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and I am gaining inspiration from that as well.  
**Author's Note** Thanks to lj userinell for the quick Beta. And apologies for the length between updates. Will try not to let that happen again, but I lost a harddrive with the outline.

**Summary: **Set Post-Hogwarts, Hermione lost everything at Voldemorts final defeat, including her sense of humor. When Fred and George play an innocent prank on Ginny's boyfriend, a wager ensues. Can Hermione beat the twins at their own game?

**This fic is being written in response to CosmicaBlacks' title challenge on Fictionalley Park.**

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**Day Seven: Contagious Frivolity  
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Hermione turned over, the sunlight having blared through her dream state and roused her to consciousness. Groaning, she reluctantly opened her eyes and looked to the other side of the bed. _'Thank goodness, I'm alone,' _ she mentally exclaimed with relief.

Her dreams had been mildly disturbing, though a welcome change – the image of the final battle having not haunted her sleep. Sitting up, Hermione stretched, clasping her hands together and reaching up over her head, welcoming the stretch in her shoulders. As she lowered her arms and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, the witch turned to the clock on her bedside table.

_'Ten a.m.?' _Hermione could not remember the last time that she slept so late, although considering the stressful events of the past few days, she could not deny that the sleep had been well deserved.

Padding her way into the kitchen, Hermione retrieved her favorite coffee mug and set a pot to brew. As she inhaled, the scent of percolating coffee summoned a smile to her face. Pulling out an egg, cheese and some bread, Hermione set about preparing herself breakfast.

Though many things in her life had changed the moment she'd stepped on the Hogwarts Express, certain routines had stayed with her over the years. Taking the time to have a proper breakfast and recuperate on the day known as Holy in her youth was one of those time honored traditions.

And so it was with great surprise, that as Hermione was enjoying a quiet breakfast, a voice coming from the fire in the study interrupted her solitude.

"Not today, Alicia," Hermione ground out. She thought that she had made her position quite clear and could not believe the gall of the witch to interrupt her like this. As she sipped her coffee, Hermione nearly choked as she heard the sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen.

"Good morning, 'Mione," Alicia called out cheerfully holding a bag in her hand. "I had thought to bring pastries, but I see that you've already secured breakfast."

Hermione looked up irritably at the witch. _'What is her problem?'  
_

"Alicia, I thought that we'd come to an understanding. I'm not willing to carry this nonsense into Molly Weasley's home. I wish that you would…"

Hermione was cut off as Alicia waved her hands dismissively. "Of course, Hermione; it was wrong of me to suggest anything to the contrary last night, and for that I apologize. I just hoped that we could consider what we were going to do for the remaining three days. As surprised as both Fred and George are by our new found _relationship_, I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say that it's not much of a prank."

Sighing, Hermione realized that she could not argue with the witch, especially after revealing that for all intents and purposes, there were only two days left with which to execute as she would be in Bristol with Remus tomorrow. "Of course," Hermione said reluctantly, summoning another coffee mug from the cabinets before asking, "Coffee or tea?"

Hermione reluctantly settled back down to the table after obtaining a third cup of coffee for Ginny, whom Alicia had flooed as soon as Hermione had consented to their conversation. Her two companions had a multitude of ideas how to truly shock the twins on the final day of the wager and Hermione sat by, listening with little enthusiasm.

"Well, Alicia, perhaps you could call Angelina, I know the four of you used to…" Ginny started before she was interrupted by a very outraged Alicia.

"Ginevra Weasley! Even I wouldn't sink to that level! Whatever my problems are with your brothers, Angelina has worked through them. I'm not going to ask her to compromise their marriage like that," Alicia said with finality.

Hermione silently chuckled in relief. It was actually quite reassuring to see that at least one other person had some limits set as to the lengths they would carry this.

"Although," Alicia said with a wicked grin. "I'm quite certain that Fred and George would be more than astounded to find out that it was not Hermione here, but their little sister who held my affections."

Hermione watched in disbelief as an obviously familiar exchange occurred between the two witches. Ginny allowed Alicia's hand to linger just a hair too long, before slapping it away in rejection of the idea. "While _we _might realize that I'm an adult, all of my brothers have a tendency to forget that fact. I'm not anxious to have six…" Ginny's voice dropped off as she absently forgot the loss of her closest sibling.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the table as they all were drawn back to the memories of friends and families that had sacrificed their lives. Despite the renewed hope that had been left in the wake of tragedy, there was an undeniable hole that had been left in the hearts of many throughout Britain. Hermione, not the least of those scarred.

"Well, perhaps," Hermione interceded softly, unwilling to allow the emotions of the past to overcome her while she was sharing coffee with Ginny and Alicia. "Perhaps, we could use Fred and George's protective nature against them," she offered meekly. "What if they thought that Alicia had stolen Colin from you and betrayed me?"

Alicia immediately was pulled out of her reverie by Hermione's suggestion. "That just might work. George's greatest fear is not my involvement with other witches, but finding a wizard to replace him," she said with a devious smile. "Besides, Colin has grown into quite a…"

Ginny looked warningly at Alicia before she could finish her statement. "If you think that I would consider for one moment allowing you to use Colin for this, you have gone positively nutters! Don't take this the wrong way, but your limitations when it comes to another witches wizard are somewhat limited, Alicia. Forgive me if I can't endorse trusting Colin to you wiles."

Hermione's eyes widened as she observed the interchange between the two. She had been under the impression that despite Alicia's protests to the contrary, the underlying objective of this whole scheme was to gage George's interest, as the witch had not been with a wizard since she and George split during fifth year. But judging from the somewhat guilty flush on her face, it appeared that the witch had just been successfully in hiding her indiscretions from the Weasley twins.

"No, I think the element missing in all of this is Hermione," Alicia interjected, her words pulled mid-thought as her eyes focused on the brunette witch. "The wager is between Hermione and the boys, and when all is said and done with, we want them to have no excuse to contest her win."

Ginny's eyes sparkled as she looked from Alicia, to Hermione, and then back again. "If you are suggesting what I think you are, we might already be well on her way," the youngest Weasley replied. "Did you know that one of my brothers was seen leaving Hermione's boudoir, half dressed, the day before yesterday _and_ it was well after noon," Ginny added with enthusiasm.

Hermione glared warningly at Ginny as she stammered, trying to explain the circumstances that had led to George waking in her bed, but it was no use as her co-conspirators carried on animatedly without her.

"And I had thought that George's obvious displeasure yesterday, was because of me," Alicia said, a smirk on her lips. "Perhaps I underestimated your powers of seduction, Hermione."

The whole scene was a bit too much on Hermione as she considered the sadistic delight the two witches seemed to take in the idea of Hermione leading George on only to declare her feelings for Alicia. Undoubtedly, his other half would jump in to defend his brother's feelings, thereby ensnaring both twins in their trap.

Her protests were met on deaf ears and so Hermione settled instead on chasing them out of her flat. The excuse of work was a reliable one for Hermione, one that any that knew her well rarely contested. And so it was with a sigh of relief that Hermione watched both witch's disappear into the hearth before putting up the wards to ensure no further interruptions.

Once she had been left to the peace and quiet of her own company yet again, Hermione attempted to do some further research into the Montgomery case file. Unfortunately, there was little for her to do. The case really was quite simple, they needed only to speak with the werewolf and the Gringotts banker. Although the goblins would be reluctant to surrender the estate to the rightful heir, there would be little they could do so long as informed parties were there to argue his case.

o.!

"Hermione, dear," Molly Weasley enthused, bustling towards the hearth at the Burrow as she pulled Hermione in for a quick hug, before dusting her own robes free of the soot that Hermione had yet to brush off. "So good to see you," she said with a hurried smile before bustling back into the kitchen. 

Hermione laughed. Molly Weasley was one of the comforting constants in her life, a line of continuity between her life before and after Harry and Ron's deaths. Her love was simple and genuine, though often rushed as she flitted about tending to all those around her.

Removing her cloak - she preferred not to get her clothing covered in soot when traveling by floo - the witch made her way to the closet, making herself at home as she wandered through the house and into the gardens in search for the other siblings.

As she stepped out into the bright sunlight, Hermione smiled at Percy and Penelope before nearly being knocked over as something tackled her ankles.

"Billius," Penelope exclaimed, chastising their son as she crossed swiftly to pick up the toddler, apologizing to Hermione as she scooped him in his arms.

"Now, apologize to your Aunt 'Mione," Percy said sternly as he looked down upon his son, much more like his twin uncles in temperament than his father. "That wasn't nice."

Hermione looked upon the young freckled face and giggled. "I think that Billius just wanted to show how much he missed me, didn't you?" she asked, her smile warm as she waved off Percy's lecture. "And I must say, that I would be honored to be knocked off my feet by a wizard as handsome as this," she added with a wink as she accepted the struggling tyke from his mother's arms, spinning him around in the air before pulling him in for a crushing hug.

"Oye 'Mione," a voice sounded her ear, as Hermione felt her waist encircled by a pair of strong freckled arms. "Am I to believe that you would prefer my nephews charms to that of his older, and more handsome, uncle?"

Hermione flushed at the sound of the familiar teasing voice. While she had rebutted George's teasing innuendo the morning he had woke in her bed, she had known deep down that it was simply a joke to him. But, the feel of the arms around her waist, brought back to mind the ghosted image of his freckled shoulders as he sat up in the bed, pulling himself into wakefulness.

"Uncle Fred," Billy's squeal of excitement pulled Hermione out of her memory and she flushed deeper at the realization that not only had she found herself considering the physique of Ron's brother. The touch of Fred, not George, had been enough to evoke the memory.

Allowing Billius to climb over her shoulder, anxious to pounce upon his uncle, another voice sounded, adding to Hermione's private humiliation. "I'm afraid that she will have to settle for your facsimile," Angelina's husky tone rang out as she entered the garden carrying Ronald James, "I've the misfortune of being the only witch subjected to your charms, Fred Weasley," she chided as she walked over to Hermione, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

The afternoon carried on quite light heartedly, Hermione happily chatting with Penelope, Angelina, Ginny and Percy – as he couldn't bear his brother's company for too long – while the twins and Colin carried on with Billius. They transfigured small rocks and sticks for his amusement, before Fred swept him up onto his old Cleansweep – Percy had made it quite clear that he would have his head were he to put his son on anything faster again. As the witches and Percy gasped, watching Billius held tight against Fred as his uncle commanded the broom into a series of spins and shallow dives, the toddlers laughter rang out, only to be silenced when Molly came out to announce dinner, screaming instead, "Fred Weasley, bring him down here this instant!"

After dinner the adults settled down for a cup of tea as they chatted idly. It wasn't before long before Molly Weasley excused herself. Preparing for their weekly dinners was a tiring task, quite often leading to her early retreat for bed. The next retreats were as predictable as the others. Taking advantage of Hermione's presence and love for children, the young couples often stole away for an hour or two of quiet time, leaving Hermione to babysit, George opting to leave as well, seeking whatever entertainment a young bachelor might find on a Sunday evening.

Oddly enough, on this evening, George decided to remain behind moving to sit beside Hermione after his siblings and their partners had left. "Hermione, I wanted to apologize," he said, in an uncharacteristically humble tone. "I had no right to barge into your flat like that…"

As his voice trailed off, Hermione looked at him curiously. She'd never heard the twins offer such an unconditional apology before, always preferring to laugh or joke their way out of any transgression. Too astonished to reply with any more elegance, Hermione simply said, "It was nothing George."

With that behind them, the two turned their attention on the infant and toddler that was left in their care. Time slipped by them as they rolled about on the floor, allowing Billy to climb on each of them, using them as various animals for his riding pleasure, and flying Jamie – as calling Fred's son Ron was entirely too painful for the family – about through the air as Billy reached up to tickle the babies toes, delighting in the peals of laughter.

It was after Hermione was burping Jamie on her shoulder, George having just returned from carrying Billy up to Percy's old room to await his parents arrival, that she sensed George's gaze upon her. Rocking back and forth slightly as she patted the infants back, Hermione screwed up her face slightly as she looked at George. "What is it? Don't tell me that you've somehow managed to slip one of your new products to me over the course of the evening, George Weasley," she asked, her voice stern yet playful.

George laughed lightly before sitting next to Hermione and extending his hands to take his sleeping nephew from her arms. "I was just thinking how lucky we all are that you're in our lives," he said with a curious smile as Hermione carefully placed Jamie in his arms.

"I'm sure. Who else would be insane enough to watch one of the Weasley twins' children," she asked chuckling lightly before warning, "careful with his head, that's it."

"Hermione Granger, I've been changing nappies since you yourself were in them," George replied indignantly as he rose from the couch, heading to the stairs to lay the baby down.

"You forget that I'm a year older than Ron," she laughed, "which makes me only a year younger than you!" George shook his head as he carried the sleeping infant upstairs, only turning his head to mouth, "Shhh," warningly.

When he returned, Hermione was still laughing at George's exaggeration, only quieted when he looked at her again. "It's good to see you laugh. Ron would be happy to know that you could still smile at the mention of his name."

Hermione's mouth clasped shut, as her hand flew to her mouth. She'd been so caught up in the playful mood of the evening – the energy of the children was contagious – that she'd not realized when she'd spoken Ron's name. "I didn't mean. I'm s- sorry…" she said softly, feeling guilty for her lighthearted mood, forgetting even for a moment those that she'd left behind.

George pulled her hand from her face before smiling. "Don't apologize Hermione. It would be a shame if all that there memory brought you was pain. You all meant so much more to each other," he said with a smile as he squeezed her hand gently.

Hermione nodded, acknowledging emotionally as well as mentally for the first time the wisdom in those words. "They did love to horse around, my parents too," she said as a grin formed at her face. "All of them, I have such great memories of chess, bridge – Muggle card game," she explained at the puzzled look on George's face. "Even watching the boys carry on about Quidditch…" she said her voice trailing off at the memory of watching them huddled in the corner of Gryffindor common room, Ron's chess pieces demolishing Harry's as they played Wizard's chess.

"Well then," George offered as he clapped his hands on his jean clad thighs. "How about a game of chess?" he asked playfully. "If you're lucky, perhaps my dearly departed brother will find a way to channel some of his expertise. I can assure you that you will need it."

Though a part of her cringed at the frank way that George spoke of Ron's death, another part, one that had long been bottled up broke free. "And just what makes you think that I need assistance, George Weasley? I assure you that I have been playing chess since I was a young girl. Muggles do play the game as well, you know?" she asked arching an eyebrow in challenge.

"That might be the case. But, you did not grow up playing against Ron, now did you. As I'm sure you can imagine, my incentive at mastering the game was significant. I couldn't allow ickle Ronnie-kins to best me without a fight?" he asked, the twinkle in his eyes the same as it had been in Diagon Alley before third year, teasing Ron about making Prefect.

o.!

When Ginny Weasley returned home, a grin crossed her face at the sight of Hermione asleep, her head on George's shoulder. Checking the time and hoping that it wasn't too late, she grabbed a handful of floo powder, before crouching down and tossing it into the fireplace. Sticking her head through the fire, she focused on the correct grate before calling _'Remus Lupin' !_


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance