RWBY 1. Revelations

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RWBY:

The Blond And The Valkyrie

By typicalteenager.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

Chapter 1: Revelations

* * *

Jaune Arc, leader of Team JNPR, had just had a revelation.

It had occurred when Nora, in one of her more excitable moments (which were hard to differentiate from her generally excitable attitude), had suddenly called for a game of Truth or Dare.

After it had been established that the dares would not involve weapons, leaving Nora looking a little put out and Ren giving a sigh of relief, the game had been agreed to, and then begun.

It had gone on for a good hour, providing many moments of amusement, such as when Pyrrha had used 'Truth' to try and get Jaune to say what it was about Weiss that he liked, which had left him red and spluttering whilst Nora laughed, Pyrrha giggled, and Ren gave a slight smirk, Nora had used 'Dare' to get Jaune to try fighting using Magnhild down in one of the training rooms, apparently having already forgotten the 'No Weapons' rule, which had resulted in Jaune propelling himself backwards into the wall whilst Nora laughed, Pyrrha giggled, and Ren gave a slight smirk, and Ren, giving a slight smirk, daring Jaune to get through a day of school without anything happening to him, to which Nora laughed and Pyrrha giggled.

Needless to say, Jaune found the game a little less fun than the others.

Jaune had then tried to regain some ground, or at least have everyone laugh at someone other than him, by using 'Truth' to ask Nora just how good friends with Ren she was. Nora had immediately gone into a long and fast explanation about all of Ren's amazing qualities: how he was talented, handsome, eloquent, intelligent, caring, thoughtful, etcetera etcetera, leaving Ren giving off a rare blush, to which Jaune laughed, and Pyrrha giggled.

Then had come the revelation.

"….And we're such good friends that I'll be the Best Man at his Wedding!"

"Nora, don't you mean the Bridesmaid?"

"…Nope, the Best Man. I'd look better in a suit better than a dress. Or maybe I could wear the Bridesmaid dress with a suit jacket and tie…"

Ren had just shook his head, his face bearing that small smile that seemed to appear in response to Nora's antics.

He then heard a choking noise, which was clearly a shocked Jaune, and turned to face him. He found, however, that whilst Jaune was shocked, it was Pyrrha making the choking noise, and both stared at Nora as though she had grown a second head.

It was Jaune who eventually spoke.

"Are…. Aren't you two….. you know….. a item?"

Nora, apparently oblivious to their shock, just shook her head. "Nope. Don't get me wrong, Ren is awesome, and if he ever did propose to me I'd say yes, but unless that day comes, we'll always be the best of friends" she answered, finishing with a big grin across her face as she draped her arms over Ren's shoulders.

Ren had just maintained that small smile.

Shortly afterwards, they had gone to bed for the night. Ren and Nora had gone to sleep almost immediately, whilst Jaune and Pyrrha had remained awake for quite some time.

Eventually, Jaune had managed to fall asleep, his mind still reeling at the news he had received today.

'_Nora and Ren are not a couple? Who would have thought it?'_

* * *

Pyrrha Nikos, member of Team JNPR, had just had a revelation.

It was the early hours of the morning, the sun just beginning to appear on the horizon, and she was laying in her bed, having been the last to fall into a poor sleep. She just lay there, her eyes staring at the ceiling, her brain trying to calm her new paranoia and nerves she had developed towards the team's other female.

Pyrrha Nikos liked Jaune. She had worked that out soon after meeting him. Exactly how much she liked him was another matter. She wasn't sure if she was just wanted the first real friendship she had in a long time (being a four times champion had provided an unwelcome change to the way people treated her), or if she had any deeper, possibly romantic, feelings for him. Being both his teammate and his partner gave her plenty of opportunity to investigate these feelings, but to be certain, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with just the two of them. After all, if her feelings were romantic in nature, she wanted to avoid any competition.

With 5 of her 7 friends at Beacon being females, this concern was always near the forefront of her mind.

Ruby was, in her opinion, the biggest threat. Not only was she one of the closest to Jaune, but the way she often blushed and spluttered whenever he gave her a compliment were clear warning signs that she might harbour romantic feelings towards the blond knight.

Yang and Weiss were next. Neither had shown any interest in him, but Yang had a buxom body and knew how to use it, meaning she could easily ensnare him if she wanted to, whilst Jaune had shown an interest in Weiss, meaning if Weiss did take an interest, she would have a powerful advantage over her.

Pyrrha didn't know Blake that well, which meant she might not have any interest in Jaune at all, but she decided to stick to the side of caution, and consider her a threat just in case.

It had been an immense relief to her that the only other female on her team, and the one female she (and Jaune) had to share the room with, had not only never shown any interest at Jaune, but appeared to been enamoured with the team's other male.

Until last night. That had changed everything.

Now she had to add another potential threat to her list.

Pyrrha let out a sigh, and began to plan out how to determine Nora's position on the list of potential threats to her potentially romantic relationship with her team leader.

* * *

Nora Valkyrie, member of Team JNPR, was about to have a revelation.

It was almost lunchtime at Beacon Academy, and she was using the teams' beds as trampolines, bouncing between each of them, whilst Ren was sitting on the floor, cleaning Stormflower. Pyrrha and Jaune had left earlier that morning, going to have another training session.

For some reason, Pyrrha had seemed unable to look at Nora.

Nora had been a little confused at this, but soon shrugged it off, and begun her bed bouncing exercises.

Still, the thought did keep popping up in her mind, and this in turn prompted thoughts towards her other teammates, as she bounced up and down on a single bed, oblivious to Ren's sigh (since it was his bed).

After a few minutes, much to Ren's surprise, (this was expressed as a single raised eyebrow), Nora stopped bouncing, sat down on the edge of the bed, crossed her legs, and cupped her chin in the space between her thumb and finger in a classic thinker's pose.

Ren kept an eye on her as she did this. It wasn't that she wasn't smart (she had passed the written portion of Beacon's Entrance Exam after all), but she rarely had a moment of deep pondering like this.

Eventually, she spoke. "Ren?"

"Yes Nora?"

"I've been thinking….."

"Yes?"

"And I've just thought of something."

Ren gave another small smile at the vague statement. "Well Nora, that does tend to happen when you think. What did you think of?"

Nora paused for a moment, apparently deciding how to word this. "I thought that Jaune treats me the same way you do."

Whilst Ren was used to Nora not making much sense, this seemed unusual even for her. "Yes Nora, he does."

Nora shook her head. "No Ren, I really mean the same. He listens to me when I talk, he makes pancakes for me whenever he decides to cook us breakfast, he keeps an eye on me during battles to make sure I'm alright…. And those are just the ones I can think of at the moment."

"So he does Nora. Where are you going with this?"

Nora rolled her eyes, as if Ren was being stupid (to which Ren raised a single eyebrow once more). "Well, you're my bestest friend. It makes sense for you to treat me like that. But Jaune and I have only known each other for a few months. We're practically strangers, so why does he treat me like you do?"

Ren gave another small smile. Only Nora would consider knowing someone for a few months to still be the 'strangers' phase of a relationship. "Well Nora, I'm sure he's just showing how much he cares about and values you." With that, he turned his attention back to cleaning Stormflower.

Silence reigned for a few moments. Then…

"How much he cares about me?"

Something in Nora's tone made Ren pause in his work, and look back at her.

Nora's face was full of wonder, and for once it was not the child-like wonder she often showed.

"How much he values me?"

And Ren realised that, after all the years they had known each other, it was still possible for him to say the wrong thing to Nora.

He wasn't sure what she was thinking, and was about to clarify what he meant, when Nora suddenly jumped to her feet, her face morphing to one that combined shock with delight. "Oh Ren! I've been such a fool!"

"Nora?"

"All this time, Jaune has been trying to express his affections for me, and I've been treating him as a mere friend of mine!"

Ren's eyes widened as it dawned on him exactly what conclusion Nora had come to. He also caught on to the fact that Nora had just described Jaune as a 'mere friend' when a moment ago she had described him as 'practically a stranger', but that could wait for the moment. "Affections? Hang on Nora, I-"

Nora gave a sudden gasp. "His 'Truth' question last night! He wanted to know how I felt about you to see if he had a chance of being with me! And I was going on about how great you were- oh poor Jaune! He must feel that his efforts are futile!"

"Nora, I think-"

But Nora wasn't listening. She jumped to her feet, and dashed out of the door, her voice echoing through the corridor. "Hold on Jauney! Your Nora-kins is coming for you!"

Ren sat there for a moment, as his brain processed what had just happened. When it finally had, he jumped to his feet, threw Stormflower on his bed, and was about to dash after her, when his brain clicked at a certain fact.

Nora had left him alone. Of her own volition.

And if she started spending time with Jaune, he'd actually have some free time to himself.

Ren was not, by nature, a selfish person.

But after spending so many years with one Nora Valkyrie, anyone would long for prolonged moments of peace and quiet.

And there was nothing to stop him correcting her later.

With that, Ren went to his bedside drawer, and took out a book he had bought many years ago.

It was a fantasy novel, called _Romance of the Three Kingdoms, by Lo Kuan-chung_. A massive doorstopper of a novel of 120 chapters and about 800,000 words. He had meant to read it for years, but all that time spent with Nora meant he had never had the chance.

Until today.

Laying on his bed, Ren removed the protective cover, opened up to the first chapter, and began to read.

_Empires wax and wane, states cleave asunder and coalesce. When the rule of Chou weakened..._

* * *

Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, and Yang Xiao Long, who together formed team RWBY, were about to have a revelation.

Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos, the J and P of Team JNPR, were about to experience their second.

They were sitting in the Cafeteria, enjoying lunch together. Ruby and Pyrrha were talking about the strengths and weaknesses of using Crescent Rose, Weiss and Blake were discussing classic Literature, and Yang was teasing Jaune over the bruises he'd gotten from his training session with Pyrrha, which today included a black eye and a broken nose, a piece of tissue paper stuffed in his right nostril to stop blood trickling out.

They had been like this for a while, and would have continued that way through their meal, had they not been interrupted by a loud cry.

"JAUNEY!"

Jaune, after jumping slightly at the sudden loud cry, realised that it was him being called to, and was about to turn around when something rammed into his back. This was quickly followed by two arms snaking under his armpits, the hands meeting in the centre of his chest plate, and tightening around him.

It took Jaune a moment for his brain to realise that someone was pressed against his back and hugging him.

Upon turning his head, his brain took another moment to comprehend the fact that it was Nora that was doing the hugging.

Judging by the confused expression on Pyrrha and Team RWBY's faces, they were taking a moment to comprehend it too.

Finding his voice, he began ask what she was doing. "Um, Nora? What-"

"Jauney~"

His brain struggled again, this time at the strange, almost affectionate tone Nora was saying his name in. Before he could continue, Nora ended the hug, and clasped a hand to either side of his face, turning it to face hers directly.

"Jauney, I'm so sorry about last night."

Jaune was bewildered by this. Was she referring to him ending up providing the entertainment for the rest of the team?

"All this time I've ignored you and your feelings, and I'm so sorry for it."

Jaune smiled, thinking his guess was right. "It's okay Nor- wait, feelings?"

"I promise I'll make it up to you, and give you the same warmth and love you've given to me."

Jaune's brain stopped yet again. "Warmth? Love?"

Pyrrha's face suddenly became the perfect picture of horror, one eye twitching slightly.

Nora nodded vigorously, and then threw back her head and shouted loud enough for the whole Cafeteria to hear. "HEAR MY CRY, REMNANT! I, NORA VALKYRIE, WILL BE THE GREATEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE WORLD TO THE MAN WHO LOVES ME: JAUNE ARC, KNIGHT OF BEACON!"

Team RWBY now had expressions similar to Pyrrha's: in Ruby's case, exactly the same.

Meanwhile Jaune's brain crashed yet again. "GIRLFRIEND! NOR-"

He never got to say whatever he was going to say, because Nora brought her face back down, pulled his towards hers, and gave him a deep, long kiss, lips to lips, with plenty of tongue.

And just like that, she had changed everything.

* * *

Lie Ren, member of Team JNPR, had not just had, nor was he about to have, a revelation.

He was busy enjoying both the quiet and his book, reading at a leisurely pace. Nora had been gone for an hour, and he had just started the second chapter.

_It must here be told who this Tung Cho was. Cho, or Chung-ying, was born in the west at Lint'ao in modern Shensi..._

* * *

**Typicalteenager:**

**Admiral Monty Oum! This is typicalteenager, reporting in as the latest deckhand for the Battleship _S.S. Nora's Arc_, Sir!**

**Okay, so I love RWBY. It's an awesome show. So I'm browsing the site looking at and reading RWBY fanfics, and I come across two fanfics in particular:**

**_Nora's Arc_, by Nutshop, and Chapter 6 of _For the Love of Jaune_ by AnimeGirl 144.**

**I thank these two for introducing me for the awesomeness that is Nora x Jaune. I now stand beside all other Nora x Jaune lovers: we will man this ship to the bitter end!**

**I was also inspired by the fanfic _Bruce has a Problem_, a crackfic focusing on Bruce x Harley, where Harley, like Nora, misinterprets Bruce's/Batman's actions as signs of affection and begins a romantic relationship with him. I recommend you check it out: the link can be found on its TvTropes Page.**

**Romance of the Three Kingdoms is a real book in our world. The 'Romance' is the equivalent of 'based on a true story': real events with some changes (in this case, to give the volume a pro-Shu stance).**

**Also, those who know of me from my Warhammer 40K fanfic 'Soloman the Blood God' will probably be crying out "Why are you starting another story when you can barely handle updating your existing one?"**

**Two reasons:**

**1) This fanfic was one that persisted in my head to the point where I had to write it.**

**2) Unlike Soloman the Blood God, which is pretty much thought up off the top of my head when I sit down to write it, this fanfic actually has several planned steps, with plenty of ideas as to how to link and progress them.**

**Anyway, until then, enjoy the first chapter of The Blond And The Valkyrie!**

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**EDIT: Aaaaaand I've just spotted an error in my work. I had it established that there would be no weapon-based dares, and a few sentences later? Nora has Jaune perform a weapon-based dare. That error is now corrected.**


	2. Reactions

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RWBY:

The Blond And The Valkyrie

By typicalteenager.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

Chapter 2: Reactions

* * *

It almost went without saying, but will still be said anyway, that Nora's actions were like a pebble splashing in the waters of a garden pond, creating outwards ripples across the entire body of water: in this case, Beacon Academy.

Yang Xiao Long was surprised. _Nora and Jaune, sitting in a tree? Wow. I did not see that coming._

Weiss looked shocked, but inside was doing a little jig. _Yes! Maybe now he'll stop bothering me and calling me by that stupid nickname!_

Ruby and Pyrrha were externally silent, but internally screaming in anger. _NOOOO! GET YOUR HANDS OF MY JAUNEY NORA! AND DON'T CALL HIM JAUNEY: THAT'S MY PRIVATE NICKNAME FOR HIM THAT HE DOESN'T YET KNOW ABOUT!_

Had the two redheads been able to read the other's mind, they would have been glaring at each other with intensity. But they couldn't, so never mind.

A few tables away, a rabbit-eared Faunus was cooing over Beacon's latest couple. _Aw~ they look so cute together!_

A few more tables away, one team of 4 males were staring with disgust and contempt that the blond dork had managed to get himself a girl. Of course the team's leader owed his life to the same blond dork for saving him, but they weren't going to let something like that stop them.

Staring through the window from outside the Cafeteria, a blond Faunus and his blue haired friend were high-fiving each other while laughing at the scene, the Faunus's tail holding a scroll set on record.

Blake, along with the majority of the students present, were like Yang surprised, their main thought being _I thought she and Ren were a couple…_

Nora was still giving her all into the kiss, with one thought on her mind. _Oh wow, my Jauney's such a good kisser! And this is him in shock that I'm returning his feelings for me. Imagine how he'll be when we're properly tongue wrestling~._

And Jaune? Well…

_System reboot in progress… data recovery at 9%..._

* * *

The rest of the day was a bit of a mixed bag for Jaune. Because everyone had chosen their seats for each class at the start of the semester, he spent the afternoon sat between Pyrrha and Weiss, meaning Nora had to stay in her usual seat next to Ren.

Though she had puffed her cheeks and pouted a little at this, she'd returned to her chirpy self once she'd begun talking to Ren.

Oddly, Ren looked surprisingly relaxed and chirpy himself compared to normal.

Jaune's brain would have probably made a bigger deal of this had it not still been trying to reboot. A process that was made more difficult for two reasons: one either side of him.

Pyrrha was focused solely on the lessons, her face set in a disgusted expression that frankly scared him.

And Weiss was in a cheerful mood, actually conversing with him, and even initiating some of the conversations.

What little of Jaune's brain that was still functioning wondered if his Semblance was to alter reality, or maybe to end up in an alternate universe. It would explain why today was turning out the way it was.

When the day's lessons had finally ended, the sun was setting outside (Fridays always had lectures last until the evening), and Jaune headed slowly back to his dorm, with a set of notes that were scrawled all over the pages, with little to no order. They look like how he imagined Nora's notes would look.

_Nora…_

He very quickly got off that train of thought, before he remembered the events from lunch and his brain shut down again.

It didn't help that everyone around him was whispering and glancing at him, and there was no doubt what they were referring to. Nora's declaration had been echoed through the cafeteria, and those students who hadn't been present were quickly informed through school-yard gossip and a video of the whole thing that had been uploaded as a free download onto the inter-scroll network.

Jaune just stared straight ahead, and focused on the sound of his footsteps. He wanted to go to bed and sleep. Tomorrow was the weekend, and with any luck he'd wake up and find this whole day to have just been some crazy dream.

It wasn't until he was opening the door into their room that he remembered who exactly shared this room with him.

"JAUNEY!"

Before Jaune could do anything, he was grabbed by his jacket, pulled into the room, and thrown onto his bed. He just managed to sit up when something blue jumped into his lap and wrapped itself around him in a hug.

Trying not to have another mental shutdown at the fact that a female other than his Mother was hugging him, Jaune tilted his head to the side to see a block of orange hair, confirming his fears.

Nora.

Nora Valkyrie, who had earlier declared herself to be his girlfriend to the whole of Beacon.

Nora Valkyrie, who had managed to get back to their room ahead of him, removed her battle outfit, and put on her pyja-

Jaune's train of thought came screeching off the rails as he realised that Nora didn't have blue pyjamas. The only member of JNPR who did was him.

And his were not pyjamas in the traditional sense of the term.

Very slowly, Jaune turned his head down to look at Nora's blue-clad body.

Although his eyes registered the sight before them, he still had to vocalise what his eyes were seeing to make sure he hadn't gone mad.

"Nora" he rasped, his throat having suddenly turned drier than a desert.

Nora leaned back slightly, so that the two were face to face. "Yes, Jauney?~"

Jaune gave an involuntary shudder at Nora's tone of affection. Whether it was a shudder of joy or terror was unbeknown to him.

"You're… you're wearing my onesie."

"Yeeeeeeep."

And with that verbal confirmation, Jaune's brain crashed yet again. His face contorted into an expression which would have those with medical knowledge think he was having a stroke.

Of course, Nora being… Nora, thought his 'shock' was cute, and giggled at the sight.

Her giggles cut through Jaune like a bullet, his broken mind trying to decide whether to categorize Nora's giggles as 'cute', 'music to his ears', or 'a sign of the Apocalypse."

It was interrupted by a cry of alarm. His head turning on autopilot, his eyes registered Pyrrha, Ren, and Team RWBY standing in the doorway, looking at them.

Pyrrha was gripping the door handle so tightly that it was slowly being crushed in her hand, her face bearing a look of thunder.

Ren, who's facial portrayal of emotion was… minimalist (to put it politely), was clearly trying not to burst out howling with laughter, his cheeks puffed up and his face turning red.

Ruby's face was a near perfect match for Pyrrha's, though a little less 'rage' and a little more 'indignation', and she was holding a folded Crescent Rose in a similar death grip.

Yang's face was a much more normal version of Jaune's, as if her brain was trying to process that yes, Nora was cuddling up to Jaune whilst wearing his onesie.

And Blake and Weiss, who had shown the least interest in this new relationship earlier (though internally Weiss had had plenty of delight), were blushing so hard that their faces were practically a glowing lantern, as their minds, filled with great literature and in Blake's case the _Ninjas of Love_ Series (which **was** great literature, and anyone who said otherwise would be in for a pummelling), registered the level of intimacy Nora was demonstrating in wearing an item of Jaune's clothing.

It was due to her state of shock at said intimacy that Blake was the one who broke the silence, with a high-pitched squeak of "What is going on here?"

Jaune's mind, registering the question as open to all, tried to articulate a response, but in its broken state could only cause him to open and close his mouth slowly and repeatedly in a decent imitation of a goldfish.

Nora, of course, was beaming at their observers. "I'm cuddling up to my boyfriend of course!" she answered, giving her biggest smile.

A twitch began to occur in Ruby's left eye, a dulled crunch was heard as Pyrrha's grip on the door handle tightened enough to finally crush it into a fine metallic powder, Weiss and Blake's faces went even redder, as did Ren's (theirs at the open honesty of Nora's statement, his from the increased difficulty of trying not to laugh), and even Yang started to blush a little.

It was Yang who spoke next, in a need to vocalise the sight before her as Jaune had done earlier. "You've got his onesie on."

Nora's initial response was the same she had given Jaune. "Yeeeeeeep." Then after a moment, she added "It's so comfortable. I can see why Jauney likes it. And the bunny slippers are soooo cuuute!~"

She giggled with joy for a few moments, oblivious to the atmosphere around her.

Then, one hand clutching over her heart, she added in a longing, sweet tone one normally only heard from Yang when teasing, "_And it has his scent_."

You could almost hear the resulting snap of the minds of 5 girls and 1 blond knight at this bold statement.

It was too much for Yang, Blake, and Weiss, all three of them practically tomatoes by this point, as they sprinted into their room, the door slamming shut behind them.

They were closely followed by howling laughter.

Jaune automatically turned to Ren, who had finally exploded, and was now lying on the floor on his stomach, clutching his ribs and literally crying with laughter.

Then it dawned on him that he could hear more than one voice laughing, and it was coming from the opposite side of the room. He turned his head.

Hanging by his tail upside down outside the window, Sun Wukong was clutching at his side with one hand, howling in laughter like Ren.

And though it was hard to see him, the edge of a red jacket sleeve and a few strands of blue hair showed that his teammate, Neptune Vasilias, was standing just out of sight on the ledge, crying with laughter as well.

Then, Jaune noticed that Sun's other hand was clutching a scroll, and his broken brain, making a connection, suddenly started working again. He jumped to his feet, his arm stretched out and one finger pointing accusingly at Sun. "You!" he cried, more in shock than anger. "You recorded that video in the Cafeteria, didn't you?!"

It was at this point that Jaune realised that, instead of falling off, Nora was still cuddling him, her legs wrapped around his sides, her arms wrapped under his armpits, and her head buried into his chest, just above his heart. She let out a content "Hmmm, Jauney~" from her position.

Jaune's brain threatened to fall apart again.

It was also the straw that broke the camel's back. In this case, a camel named Pyrrha Nikos. With a screech of "GET OFF HIM!" she pulled out her shield and arched her arm back with the intent of throwing it at her.

Nora lifted her head and looked at Pyrrha in bewilderment. What was she so upset about? This behaviour was perfectly normal between two lovers.

Still, the look on Pyrrha's face was one Nora did not like, and one she wanted removed as soon as possible. So with a sigh of "okay", she let go of Jaune.

But instead of sticking her feet down to land on them, she let herself fall onto her bottom with a thump.

The result of this was that Pyrrha's shield, which was thrown at the same moment Nora dropped, whooshed through the air, millimetres from Jaune's nose, smashed through the window…

…and hit Sun in the crotch.

The force of the blow caused Sun to cry out an opera note in pain, and more importantly his tail to involuntarily let go of whatever it was wrapped around.

Sun's cry of pain turned into a cry of alarm as he suddenly disappeared from view, a loud metallic crash ringing out as he landed on top of the dustbins below.

"OW! Oh Oum my back! My head! It all hurts so much! OH SWEET OUM MY SINUSES! It smells worse than Neptune after a workout!"

"Hahahahaha- Hey!"

* * *

**Typicalteenager:**

**This is typicalteenager of the **_**S.S. Nora's Arc**_**, reporting in to HQ.**

**Firstly, and most importantly, IF ANYONE MAKES A PICTURE OF NORA WEARING JAUNE'S ONESIE, I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND FOR LIFE AND I WILL USE THE BEST ONE AS THE STORY'S COVER IMAGE!**

***Ahem***

**Secondly, just to be clear, I am ****not**** making light of strokes. I am well aware of how serious and horrible they are. It's just that the description was the best way of getting across the image of Jaune's face.**

**So, like I said in the previous Author's Note, this fanfic's really gotten into my head, resulting in my first ever next day update!**

**Although **_**Soloman the Blood God**_** readers will probably be ticked off that I didn't update that story…**

***Looks cautiously around to make sure the coast is clear***

**Sadly, with a full week of work ahead, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next weekend for an update.**

**Also, don't worry about Sun Wukong bashing: it's not happening. He's just had a moment of bad luck. Things will get better for him.**

**To give you an idea of where I plan for this story to be going, one of the other inspirations behind this fanfic (is it a fanfic or a crackfic? What do you think?) is the Naruto crackfic **_**The Great Romantic**_** by MogtheGnome, where a series of convoluted events lead to everyone thinking that Naruto and Tenten are an item, including Tenten, with a very confused Naruto at the centre. Like that crackfic, a good chunk of the story will be the actions and reactions of everyone else to Nora x Jaune.**

**Anyway, until next time, enjoy! Typicalteenager over and out!**


	3. The Next Morning

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RWBY:

The Blond And The Valkyrie

By typicalteenager.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

Chapter 3: The Next Morning

* * *

The sun was strong and bright as it welcomed a new day over Remnant.

Not that anyone at Beacon could see it as, for once, the clear and sunny skies normally present at the Academy were replaced with thick grey clouds and a light rain drizzled down.

In those early hours of the new day, Professor Ozpin was sitting in his study, a fresh cup of coffee in one hand, still wearing his green Onesie.

He had to admit, he could see why Mister Arc had brought one. They really were warm and comfy. He was glad to have gotten one on his last trip into Vale. And unlike Mister Arc, he wasn't going to let anyone find out that he had it.

Glynda would never let him hear the end of it. The woman could be as bad as Miss Xiao Long when she wanted to.

Shuddering at barely repressed bad memories of a teenage Glynda, Ozpin did what he always did in the early hours of a Saturday morning: moderate the forums on the Beacon Inter-scroll Network.

He found it amusing how everyone thought that the Head Admin of the Network, _Head-0zzy_, was some student having an affectionate joke at the Headmaster, as said user was the head of the forums in the same way Ozpin was head of the school. None of them suspected that it was Ozpin himself.

More than once he had considered revealing this in a school assembly just to see the reactions of the students, particularly the ruder ones who would undoubtedly go pale upon discovering they had been swearing at the Headmaster.

It was as he was doing said moderating that he noticed an update to _JourneyToTheWest_'s personal video thread. He smiled. Mister Wukong had only been here a few weeks and he had already made life for many of Beacon's students so interesting through both his personality (for those he interacted with, such as Teams RWBY and JNPR), and his videos on a variety of topics that he uploaded onto the forums. He sometimes wished that the young Faunus was a student of Beacon.

Another thing that he wouldn't let Glynda know about.

As he clicked onto the thread, he wondered what the video would be.

Another food fight?

Team CRDL getting their backsides handed to them again? Even he had to admit that for all their talent, those four were assholes.

When the page uploaded, he found the image before him to be the last thing he had expected.

There, staring at him, was a still image, zoomed in and cropped, showing Nora Valkyrie, eyes closed, giving a deep and passionate kiss to her team leader, Jaune Arc, who looked as though his brain had stopped working.

At the bottom of the picture was the caption: _I christen this ship The Blond Bomber. May it sail straight and true :)_

The smiley face was most likely Mister Vasilias' contribution.

Underneath were two videos. Watching them revealed them to be Miss Valkyrie's declaration of love and a relationship with Mister Arc in the school cafeteria, and an upside-down filming of Miss Valkyrie, wearing Mister Arc's Onesie, clinging to him in their team's bedroom, and the reactions of their teammates in the doorway.

As the second video abruptly ended (it seemed that Mister Wukong had fallen from wherever he had been filming), Ozpin found his brain drawing a blank.

_What_

_The_

_Grif._

Thanks to knowing a teenage Glynda's female friends, Ozpin had been infected with the deadly, incurable illness known as 'Shipping'. And whilst years of dealing with teenage students had helped him develop a patience and inner calmness as long and strong as the Great Wall of Mistral, he didn't know how to react to this.

_How did this even happen?_ Moments later, he answered his own question. Miss Valkyrie had most likely misinterpreted some of Mister Arc's actions as romantic, and the poor boy was unable to tell her otherwise for whatever reason.

Ozpin found his Inner Shipper flaring up at the idea. _It just doesn't work!_ Jaune was clearly meant to be with either Pyrrha or Ruby. Maybe Weiss as a long shot if she finally gave him a chance, and he proved to actually be a great boyfriend. Or Yang, annoyed at guys only wanting her for her body, dating him to groom him into her ideal man. Perhaps Blake, seeing him as a friend and defender of Faunus who would help her bring about equality for her people. Dust, even Ren was more likely to end up with Jaune via a bromance-turned-romance than Miss Valkyrie!

_And what would you even call a Nora and Jaune couple?_ Sun's Blond Bomber? Nora's Arc? The Hammer Knight? The Blond and the Valkyrie? _Nothing sounded right! _And their surnames if they ever got married: Mrs Nora Arc? Mister Jaune Valkyrie? _They clearly didn't work as a couple!_

The full effects of Shippers' Syndrome coursing through his veins like liquid fire, Ozpin was preparing to leave a comment (which would be sensible, and grammatically correct, not something like 'WTF this will neva wurk -angryface-' like those CRDL assholes would put here), and even considering taking actual physical action to burn this ship before it could sail out beyond his reach when a stray thought crossed his mind.

_Or could they work?_

Ozpin stopped, suddenly feeling cooled down. This had never happened before. Usually when he got overpowered by this curse he would be trapped in an overly-dramatic rage for hours, which is why he spent much of his time alone in his study. His mind had never second-guessed himself when it came to shipping before.

So, using his new found calmness, Ozpin leaned back, took several deep breaths, and began to look at this new ship logically, devoid of emotion.

And to his surprise, he found himself warming up to the idea.

Both Miss Rose and Miss Nikos had no understanding of a romantic relationship, Ruby due to her youth and Pyrrha due to being socially isolated by her talent and fame. Miss Schnee's formal, prim, and cold manner would cause that ship to sink faster than the ill-fated _Dustanic_. Miss Xiao Long's boisterous and forward personality would probably unnerve the boy too much to make any real progress. Miss Belladonna and Mister Lie's quiet and few social interactions beyond the two teams would likewise see slow and little progress in the relationship department. And Mister Arc himself was so self-deprecating that it would be a miracle for any girl to form a meaningful romantic relationship with him.

Miss Valkyrie, on the other hand, had a loud, childish nature which had some elements of both Miss Rose and Miss Xiao Long, but without the ignorance or the romantic nonchalance, especially since she must have known the implications of wearing his Onesie. And Mister Arc didn't have Mister Lie's ability to control (or rather curb) the energetic young lady. Her mannerisms, actions, and ways of thinking meant that he would have to respond to her, plus she wouldn't let him fall into his self-pity and angst, and force him out of it if she found him already there.

Then there was the effect it would have on the others. Though painful, the resulting heartbreak might be good in the long run for the two redheads, making them more mindful of their feelings and more willing to act on them in future relationships, while Mister Lie would be single, available as a boyfriend to any girl, and as a quiet, respectful, and well-mannered young man in a school filled with teenage boys he would undoubtedly be a hot commodity for many a young female looking for love.

_Yes…_

Smiling to himself, Ozpin removed himself from the computer, and headed towards his ensuite shower, coffee in hand. Part of him still wanted to rage at the idea of these two forming a relationship, but he kept it under control, deciding that this time, he would let the ship navigate its own course across the stormy ocean of love.

All the same, it still bugged him that he couldn't think of a good ship name.

* * *

At the student dormitories in a different section of the campus, most of the students were still asleep.

Jaune Arc, as of a few minutes ago, was not one of them.

In Team JNPR's room, Pyrrha was sleeping soundly in her bed, her face a sea of calm, though she was still wearing her school uniform instead of her pyjamas.

Ren was also sleeping in his own bed, but whilst his mind was at peace, his body unconsciously shuffled and fidgeted as a response to Nora not being there.

And Nora herself?

Still wearing Jaune's Onesie, she was currently sleeping on his chest, curled up like a cat (even purring a little), her head placed in the crook of his neck, a massive smile present on her face.

Jaune groaned. This could be a problem.

After everyone had made sure that Sun was alright, to which Neptune had assured them not to worry -the only damage Sun had received was to his pride- as he carried his groaning Team Leader away, Teams RWBY and JNPR had returned to their rooms for some rest and sleep.

This had been delayed because Nora, instead of going to her bed or slipping into Ren's, had waited until Jaune had stripped down to his shirt and boxers and gotten into bed, and then slipped under the covers and cuddled up to him as though he was a teddy bear.

This had resulted in Pyrrha's face regaining an ugly expression as she picked up Nora, dumped her on her own bed, and then sat cross-armed and cross-legged at the foot of Jaune's bed, staring at Nora, clearly not letting her near Jaune.

Nora had sat on her bed and stared back, resulting in a serious staring contest, each determined to beat the other.

Jaune had sighed, turned to face the wall, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

Ren? He was out like a light the moment his head touched his pillow.

If Jaune had to guess, based on last night's events, and the fact that Pyrrha was still in her uniform, she had sat on his bed until she believed Nora to be asleep before going to her own bed. And at some point between then and now, Nora had slipped across and gotten into bed with him.

However, whilst he had slept fine until waking up a few minutes ago, his body had spent the night reacting to both the humidity of the air brought on by the thick grey clouds trapping all the heat in and Nora's Onesie covered body being pressed against his, and thus he was covered in a sticky, clammy sweat. He felt disgusting.

He really needed a shower.

He also needed to get out from under Nora without waking her or Pyrrha.

It was difficult, but by slow and methodical, he managed to slip out from Nora, and get off the bed, though it took a good 20 minutes to do so.

He held his breath.

Nora wiggled, and mumbled something he couldn't hear, but she didn't wake up.

Sighing, Jaune gathered his wash kit and a towel, and went for his much needed shower. Now he wasn't focused on Nora, he noticed how bad he smelt.

Entering the shower, he put down his wash kit and towel by the sink, and climbed into the shower. He didn't bother removing his shirt and boxers: they were stuck to him as if glued, and he was still too sleepy to fight them. He would let the water loosen them first.

Turning on the shower caused hot water to cascade down his body, bringing a pleasant sigh from his lips and relief to stiff muscles. His sweat-soaked clothes were soon loose, but he didn't bother to remove them: he was enjoying the shower.

So much so, that he almost didn't notice the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing.

It might have been better if he hadn't noticed, because then he wouldn't have turned around to look at the shower door at the exact moment that it opened.

And been greeted with the sight of-

"Jauney~"

"NOT AGAIN!"

The blond knight tried to back up, but only found the cold tiles of the shower wall as Nora climbed into the shower with him, pulling the door shut behind her, a sleepy smile on her face.

This time, perhaps having used the night's sleep to improve its firewalls, Jaune's brain didn't crash, though it still had a good go at it. "Nora!" he squeaked, his voice coming out in a much higher pitch that made him sound feminine. "What are you doing?"

Nora just kept smiling. "What do you think?" she said, getting right up against Jaune and squeezing him in another bear hug, though a softer one due to her still being half asleep. "We're going to shower together like a good couple should."

Jaune gulped, his arms held above his head to prevent Nora trapping them at his sides. Part of him wished his brain would crash again, so he would be oblivious to Nora's body pressed up against his own.

_Hang on…_

Though everything in his mind screamed at him not to confirm her state of clothing, or lack thereof, Jaune Arc looked down.

Over the curve of her shoulder, down her smooth unblemished back, to settle on the curve of her bare posterior.

Jaune Arc might have not been very good around women, but at the end of the day, he was still a man.

He found he couldn't stop staring as rivets of shower water trickled smoothly along her buttocks.

Eventually, one word registered in his mind.

_Freckles._

Cute little freckles.

**She had cute little freckles on her bottom.**

Somehow that seemed perfect for Nora.

He was so mesmerised by the booty before him that he failed to notice that some of the rivets of water were red due to the blood dripping from his nostrils in his first ever beauty-induced nosebleed.

Nora was beginning to worry at how her boyfriend was so quiet. "Jauney?"

Jaune didn't answer.

She tilted her head up to look at him. Then she turned her head to see what he was looking down at.

And she began giggling as a light blush formed on her cheeks.

The cheeks on her face.

Standing on her tiptoes, she whispered into her boyfriend's ear "You like my back bumpers, Jauney?"

Years later, Jaune would still be unable to believe that his response to her question was a low, satisfied moan of pleasure.

Nora giggled again.

And that was when an awake Pyrrha opened the shower door to confirm what she suspected.

Her screech of rage ensured that no one in the student dormitories was sleeping anymore.

* * *

**Typicalteenager:**

**And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why this fanfic is rated T.**

**Is it obvious that I'm a fan of **_**Wizard of Ships**_** by General RTS? I think it is. Shipper Ozpin kind of gave it away.**

**And though everyone probably knows this, **_**Journey To The West**_** is the Classic Chinese Literature starring Sun Wukong, the Monkey King.**

**Anyway, the Self-appointed Paragon of Schedule Slippage wishes to apologise for his usual lateness. Thanks to having to work the late shift (which really is late, sometimes finishing in the early hours of the next day), one week's wait became two.**

**Hopefully you'll think this chapter was worth the wait.**

**Anyway, do you have a name for the Nora x Jaune ship? Let me know: I'll try and include them at some point.**

**Until then: look alive, you scurvy dogs! The **_**Nora's Arc**_** has got an ocean of love to conquer!**


	4. Back Bumper Bonanza

.

RWBY:

The Blond And The Valkyrie

By typicalteenager.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

Chapter 4: Back Bumper Bonanza

* * *

If, Jaune pondered, there was one immediate and obvious benefit to being the boyfriend of Nora Valkyrie, it was that it gave said person a great deal of insight into the personality of Lie Ren.

To sum it up, if Jaune had been Nora's childhood friend for all those years, he'd have turned out just like him. It was the only way to maintain good mental health.

Being Nora's boyfriend had also given him a great deal of respect towards the R of Team JNPR. Ren had managed to ride out the storm all these years and come out sane. Jaune had only been in Ren's position for a few days, and he was still trying to work out why he had not yet needed to be admitted to a Mental Asylum.

It was Friday, and it had been exactly one week since his…. 'relationship' with Nora had begun. Teams RWBY and JNPR, along with the rest of Beacon's students, were enjoying dinner. Or at least, that was the idea. However in reality 7 of the eight members were having difficulty savouring the delicious meal (a full roast dinner with plenty of gravy, especially on the golden roast potatoes, for all but Nora, who had decided to have pancakes first and the roast dinner as 'dessert').

There were two reasons for this. The first was Nora.

The second was her 'Back Bumpers', as she called them.

Due to his practically involuntary reaction to said back bumpers a week ago, Nora seemed to have suddenly become a bit of a klutz, constantly dropping stuff around Jaune, and bending over to pick it up, coincidently giving Jaune a panty shot. At the same time, she had taken to wearing some of her old pink skirts from when she was younger. Said skirts had not been used in some time due to puberty making them too short for her to wear, showing the edge of her panties, and making it impossible to bend over without giving a panty shot to anyone standing behind her. Yet here they were, returned to service.

Why she had kept, and brought with her, skirts that she no longer wore (until this week) was anyone's guess. Except Ren, who would have shrugged, having accepted that Nora didn't always make sense: it was part of what made her Nora.

This alone would have been enough to cause the current atmosphere at the table, but Nora's new found inability to hold stuff seemed to go one step further. She would drop stuff all the time, and thus happen to give Jaune a panty shot, regardless of where they were, or the fact that they were usually surrounded by other students, prompting wolf whistling from the male students, looks of shock and disapproval from the female students (though none of them compared to Weiss), and on one occasion a look that somehow combined horror, disgust, and rage from Professor Goodwitch.

That had not been a good day for those students in the classroom at that time.

Nora didn't care about that though. She didn't care about if men in general liked her new found clumsiness: only that Jaune did.

His reaction to her panty shots, which was for blood to trickle out of his nose like water from a leaking tap, and his face to go bright red in an instant, confirmed this for her.

So why was Nora Valkyrie upset, when she was getting the reaction she wanted, and had pancakes sitting before her with extra syrup on top?

Because ever since that first panty shot, Jaune had doggedly tried to avoid looking at her whenever she dropped something, with varying degrees of failure and success.

It annoyed her, to the point where she would actually drop her seemingly permanent smile and adopt a pout cute enough to rival Ruby's (not that Jaune would tell her that, since it would only add another weapon to her arsenal). She wanted her boyfriend to enjoy himself, and that certainly happened whenever she dropped something around him, so why was he trying to not enjoy himself by looking away?

Jaune's reason was simple: he didn't want to die.

He knew death claimed everyone eventually, but when it did, he wanted it to be either dying in his sleep at a ripe old age, having lived a great and fulfilling life, or, the less preferred but still acceptable way out of a heroic last stand, to die fighting the hordes of Grimm, knowing that his sacrifice had allowed others to see another day.

It had to be either of these two options, because when he died, he was going to be facing all the Arcs before him, heroes one and all, and he didn't think they would be very pleased if he died because of blood loss due to his self-appointed girlfriend 'accidently' sticking her butt in his face at every opportunity.

Plus he wanted to be alive to enjoy the view. He was a teenage boy after all.

So, Jaune was avoiding looking at Nora, staring down at his food, and this was making Nora pout. But what about the other six individuals sat at the table?

Ruby and Pyrrha were once again thinking the same thing: how to separate Jaune from Nora, and how to remove Nora's new-found romantic interests in Jaune.

However, this time the two redheads differed slightly in their planning. Ruby's strategy was focused on how to get Jaune to develop an interest in her to the extent that he wouldn't want or need Nora. Currently the plan involved baking Jaune a special batch of cookies, and even sharing her strawberries with him if need be (!). Pyrrha's plan was more along the lines of how to take Nora out and make it look like an accident. So far the possible accidents all had a worryingly high chance of being fatal.

Pyrrha found that this didn't bother her so much, as long as it got her near Jaune.

Yang was also pouting: oddly enough, for the same reason Nora was.

When Yang had seen Nora's first few 'unintended' panty shots at Jaune, Yang believed her fellow Huntress-in-training had found the boy's Achilles Heel, the perfect weapon to embarrass her fellow blond. The day after this discovery, she had caught whatever illness was affecting Nora, because she too was suddenly having to pick up stuff she had dropped, coincidently showing off her curve-hugging shorts.

Then she had seen Jaune's reaction, which was to slightly blush, and look elsewhere.

This had left Yang initially confused, and then very annoyed. It wasn't so much that Jaune's reaction to her, but rather that Nora got a bigger reaction from him.

This couldn't be! Yang was the master of the flirt! A black belt in the art of seduction-induced embarrassment! She could not allow this to stand! She would get the greater reaction from Jaune: one way or another.

Weiss' behaviour was both easy to understand and completely in character for her. After her initial joy at Jaune's attention being focused elsewhere, and her shock at the levels of intimacy Nora was ascending to, she was now disgusted at the Valkyrie's behaviour and her thinly veiled reason of 'dropping stuff'. And in public no less! It was not proper, and just not done. If Nora wanted to show Jaune her… her posterior, that was her choice, but she should do so in the privacy of their room. Did the girl have no sense of shame?

Blake's reaction was the closest to Jaune's, her face red as a tomato as she occasionally peeked over her book at the pair. Like Weiss, she was well aware of the sheer intimacy Nora's recent behaviour symbolised, and she was bowled over by the boldness that Nora was displaying with such actions. It was as if one of the characters from her _Ninjas of Love_ series had suddenly come to life. Now her 'mature' side was attempting to convince her to 'accidently' leave one of her books out to give Nora ideas.

_Bad mind! Bad mind!_

And Ren?

He was enjoying the gravy-soaked roast potatoes, whilst trying not laugh at poor Jaune's expense. After all, he had once been through the same sort of situations with Nora.

That didn't stop him internally being amused though.

* * *

Sometime after dinner, Yang was back in her team's room. She was laying on her bed, her feet on her pillow, using her scroll to look up techniques and exercises that would shape and tone her buttocks, as well as what men considered to be the perfect female posterior. Maybe then Jaune would give a proper reaction to her.

Her search was beginning to bear fruit, when the sound of the door opening prompted her to toss her scroll away and roll over to see who it was.

Into the room came Ruby, trying to be sneaky and failing, as she was clearly focused on something other than stealth.

The something in question, tucked in a ball under her arm, was Jaune's Onesie.

"…"

Yang just stared at Ruby, whose face was red and tilted down away from her to hide her embarrassment.

No, not tilted down: looking down...

Yang turned her head to see what Ruby was looking at, and felt her own face going red as she realised that her scroll had ended up on the floor, with Ruby clearly able to see and read what Yang had been looking at.

Silence hung in the room for a moment. Then…

"…I won't say anything if you won't."

"…Deal."

With that, Yang picked up her Scroll, and returned to her reading, whilst Ruby stuffed Jaune's Onesie inside her pillow, and began to strip down and clean Crescent Rose.

When Weiss and Blake returned, they found the room filled with an awkward atmosphere.

And for some reason, Blake's more sensitive nose could detect Jaune's scent lingering in the room, especially around the bed of Ruby.

* * *

Meanwhile, across the hallway in Team JNPR's room…

"I just don't get it Ren. Why does he look away?"

Ren, who had been trying to read his book, looked on at Nora with concern. The usually energetic young woman was currently laying on Jaune's bed, her arms and legs wrapped around his pillow in a bear hug (to be 'closer to him'), and a look of sadness on her face.

This was thankfully a rare event, but every time it happened Ren felt his heart breaking. It was like watching a puppy sitting in the rain outside the door of its owner's house, wondering why it wasn't allowed in. You couldn't sit there and do nothing.

Ren knew what the problem was as well. Back when he and Nora had graduated from 'friends' to 'best friends', it was like a switch had flipped in Nora's mind, and she began doing things like joining him in the bath, or trying to (force) feed him pancakes, and behaving in a much more intimate manner that frankly had scared the young Ren until he got used to it. It seemed that Nora's mind took the concept that 'best friends can trust each other with anything' and run with it to the extreme end of the idea.

Now she was doing the same to Jaune, only since they had gone from friends/team mates to a couple (as far as Nora was concerned), Nora's behaviour had gone to even more extremes. She had certainly never tried to deliberately show off her 'back bumpers' to Ren before.

It was made worse by the fact that Jaune, so used to getting nowhere with girls, didn't know how to react to the situation, and Ren knew that if you didn't control the situation with Nora, she would take it further and further until chaos ensured. After all these years of trying to block it out, he could still recall the 'incident' when a 12 year old Nora's behaviour in public would have gotten them arrested had they not used their Auras to outrun the officer chasing them.

Realising that he was drifting away from the subject at hand, he began to consider how to deal with the heresy that was a sad Nora.

He was debating if he should tell Nora the truth –that she had misunderstood him when he had said Jaune cared for her– which would hurt her, but also deal with the problem, and he could then work on helping her return to her normal self, when they heard Weiss' voice, sounding angry, carry across from Team RWBY's dorm.

"RUBY ROSE, YOU EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW WHY YOU HAVE JA-"

Whatever she was going to say was suddenly muted out, most likely, Ren thought, by Ruby trying to shove cookies in the heiress' mouth.

Ren smirked. In many ways, Ruby was like Nora.

_That being said, Oum help us all if they ever team up for a task. We'll need it._

Dissipating his thoughts on the potential apocalypse a Rose-Valkyrie combination could cause, Ren turned his attention back to Nora.

And found Nora's previously saddened face to be in frozen in a state of clarity.

"Um… Nora?"

His voice seemed to shake Nora out of her daze, and her face took on a look of delight as she suddenly sprang to her feet, yelling "OF COURSE! WEISS! Why did I not think of her before?" Before Ren could stop her, Nora had dashed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Ren stared at the closed door for a moment, glad that Nora was back to her usual cheery self, but feeling a strange sense of foreboding.

_At the risk of sounding cliché, I have a bad feeling about this…_

* * *

**Typicalteenager:**

**Aaaaaand the Self-Appointed Paragon of Schedule Slippage is late again! What a surprise: not.**

**On a more positive note, remember when I basically begged for someone to do fan art of Nora in Jaune's Onesie, so I could use it as the Story Image? Well, someone has.**

**That person is Exvnir, and the piece is called **_**RWBY: Pajamjams.**_

**In case you don't know, Exvnir is a member of Deviantart who has produced many great RWBY pieces, several of which have inspired fanfics, such as **_**Massages **_**by H'te Rarpee and **_**Sharing**_** by Den R.**

**So, as far as I'm concerned, this is an honor. My thanks to you, Exvnir.**

**In addition, I feel the need to draw your attention to two other RWBY artists on Deviantart that I personally enjoy: **

**Kegi Springfield, who has produced the so-sweet-that-you'll-get-diabetes art and fanfic **_**Papa Jaune**_**, **

**And Oobidoobi, with his RWBY Comic **_**Parental Message**_**, a Jaune x Harem story through Jaune's Father setting up Marriage Contracts with pretty much every woman in RWBY (I'm sure the few Jaune isn't in a contract with will be soon enough: his dad's that kind of guy).**

**Anyway, I better be off: it's been even longer since I updated Soloman the Blood God, and I don't want to be attacked by a virtual-pitchfork wielding angry mob again. Navigator, plot a course to the shores of 40K!**


	5. Weiss she wearing those clothes?

.

RWBY:

The Blond And The Valkyrie

By typicalteenager.

**Disclaimer:** I do not, and never will, own RWBY and anything related to it (except maybe my OCs: Oh, like you haven't made your own RWBY OC!). Which is a good thing, as I never would have come up with something so awesome and enjoyable.

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

Chapter 5: Weiss she wearing those clothes?

* * *

To Nora, it was so obvious. Why hadn't she thought of it before? It was like pancakes being delicious: the facts were as clear as day.

Fact 1: Jaune likes Weiss.

Quite why Jaune liked Weiss was something Nora didn't get. Quite why anyone would like Weiss was also something Nora didn't get.

Well, obvious Weiss must like Weiss, otherwise Weiss wouldn't be Weiss: she would be someone else. But then she wouldn't be Weiss, except she would, she would be Weiss but without being Weiss.

Something along those lines.

Fact 2: Weiss's appearance must form part of the reason for Fact 1.

This, again, was clear was day. It was, after all, the basis of the whole 'Love at First Sight' thing. When you fell in love at first sight with someone, you didn't know anything about them apart from what you could see. Add in the fact that Weiss had such a mean personality that was unlikeable, and clearly the bulk of the reason for Jaune's liking of Weiss had to do with her appearance.

Fact 3: She, Nora, likes Jaune.

Again, that was as obvious as pancakes being delicious.

Fact 4: Nora wanted Jaune to like her.

Well, like her more. She already knew Jaune liked her, as his frequent red faces and nosebleeds made clear, but she wanted him to like her solely, or at least be the one he liked the most.

So, on the basis of Facts 1 and 2, and with the desire to fulfil Fact 4, the clear way to get Jaune's attention to focus on her was to be a bit more like Weiss. And since Weiss had a mean personality, the best way to go about this was to have a similar appearance.

Which was why she was hanging outside from the window ledge of the window to Team RWBY's Room in the early hours of Saturday morning, waiting for them to clear the room.

* * *

The Cafeteria that morning saw Teams RWBY and the J, P, and R, of JNPR enjoying a lazy, relaxed breakfast.

Or at least that was the intention. It was made a little more difficult with 5 of the 7 members sitting there lost in their thoughts.

The other 2, which were Yang and Ren, really were having a lazy, relaxed breakfast.

Ruby was pouting. Weiss, with Blake's help, had found Jaune's Onesie hidden inside her pillowcase, and taken it from her and thrown it out of the room, leaving Ruby upset, embarrassed, and annoyed.

Weiss was also annoyed. It was bad enough that Nora was behaving in such an inappropriate manner, but now Ruby as well. Ruby could be aggravating enough as it was, without this new found behaviour in regards to Jaune. After all, Nora was effectively keeping Jaune out of her hair: she didn't need Ruby pulling him back in.

Blake's mind was filled with naughty thoughts. Having realised that Ruby was willing to try and nab Jaune from Nora, her mind was filled with more adult ideas in regards to the situation, and her willpower was losing the battle to stop it.

This was the reason why she had slipped out and retrieved Jaune's Onesie when no-one was looking, and hidden it away for later use.

Pyrrha was feeling conflicted. On the one side, she was still thinking of any way to get Nora away from Jaune so she could have him herself, so then she could work out what she wanted from him. On the other, a new part of her had noticed her expression in the mirror when thinking such thoughts, and felt horrified at the face she was making. Pyrrha had disliked and even been disgusted by people in the past, but she'd never reacted this way to anyone before, and she didn't like how it was affecting her. She hated these feelings stirring within her, and how she had no control over them. So she slowly ate her breakfast, wondering how to deal with the situation.

Finally, Jaune was feeling very nervous. His Onesie had gone missing, and while he had been able to sleep in his shirt and underwear, he couldn't help but worry where it had gone and who had taken it.

However, his far greater concern was that Nora was missing. As awkward as it was to have her around him all the time, at least then she was where he could see her, whilst right now he had no idea where she was or what she was up to, hence his nervousness. He somehow knew that when he next saw her, things were going to go very badly for him.

Such feelings would have been reinforced if he knew that, at that very moment, Sun and Neptune were once again outside at the window of the cafeteria, waiting with Sun's scroll, set to record and focused on Jaune, for Nora's latest display of love.

They were not to be disappointed. And Jaune's nervousness would prove to be well-founded.

As they sat there, the seven Hunters and Huntresses-in-training began to notice people around them murmuring and gasping, followed by the clicking of scrolls as they were used to take pictures. The noise was getting louder, as whatever was causing this was moving closer.

Jaune, who had his back to the noise, dropped his forehead onto the table and groaned. He didn't need to look to know that it was almost certainly Nora. Letting out a sigh, he raised his head from the table, allowing him to see the faces of Team RWBY, who were facing the source of the commotion.

Ruby's and Blake's faces were bright red, their mouths open and expressions of shock present. Yang's face was also bright red and expressed shock, but her mouth was tightly shut and her cheeks puffed up, trying to hold in a laugh.

And Weiss?

Jaune had, with some reluctance, looked up Sun's videos on _The Blond Bomber_, the title he had given to Jaune and Nora's…. relationship. He had seen the way his face had imitated someone suffering a stroke when presented with Nora wearing his Onesie, and his failed attempts at talking being decent goldfish imitations.

Weiss' face was currently bearing that same stroke-suffering, goldfish-imitating expression.

Gulping, and taking a quick glance at his teammates' faces (Pyrrha's face sharing Ruby and Blake's expressions, and Ren sharing's Yang's), turned to look behind him, even as he heard a very familiar voice say "Hi Jauney!"

The sight that greeted him was every bit as bad as he could have imagined.

Nora stood before him, her typical big smile plastered on her face, and a tray filled with pancakes in her hands.

It was her clothes that were the source of all the commotion. Mainly because they weren't her clothes.

The clothes she was wearing belonged to Weiss.

Being of similar size, Weiss' white dress mostly fitted Nora quite well. Her arms fitted through the sleeves with space to spare, and the pale blue ribbon was tied around her waist comfortably. There were only two indications that would tell the casual observer they were not her clothes. The first, and the part that was getting to Jaune the most, was that her naturally larger bosom was straining to fit in the chest area of the skirt. The second was that, instead of Weiss' high heels, she was still wearing her usual white trainers with pink shoelaces.

Somehow, that seemed perfectly what one would expect of Nora.

As his brain remembered that they were currently in the middle of a busy cafeteria, with Nora standing in plain sight for all to see Jaune did the first thing he could think of. He got up, leaving the rest of his breakfast, grabbed Nora's arm, and led her out of the cafeteria at a brisk pace.

The other occupants of the cafeteria stared at the door the two had gone through, unmoving and most of them quiet.

The exceptions to this were Sun and Neptune, both of whom were roaring with laughter, tears running down their eyes, as they staggered away to go upload their recording of the whole incident onto the inter-scroll network.

A few moments later, the air was filled with an inhuman scream as Weiss finally found her voice.

* * *

Jaune dragged Nora all the way to the corridor where Team RWBY's and JNPR's rooms were located. Whether it was because she could get change there, or because it was the most private place available to their team to discuss matters, he wasn't sure. He didn't consciously choose where his legs were going beyond 'get Nora away from the cafeteria'.

He finally stopped when they reached their team's door, letting go of her arm, and turning to her.

Nora was happily stood there, her tray balanced carefully in one hand, a fork in the other picking at her pancakes as she ate them.

Jaune gave a polite cough to get her attention.

She turned to him, still smiling and chewing. "Yes Jauney?" she said. Or at least he thought she did: a mouth full of pancake made her words muffled.

"Nora, what are you doing?"

Nora looked at his as if he was being daft. "I'm eating my pancakes. Why, do you want some Jauney? Because you'll have to go back to the cafeteria: you're not having mine."

Jaune sighed. "No Nora, I mean…. I mean why are you wearing Weiss' clothes?"

Nora's eyes widened a little at that. "Oh right. I forgot about that."

_Really?!_ thought Jaune.

"Well, you like Weiss, even though she's really mean, but you're supposed to like me since I'm your girlfriend, so I thought I'd be a little more like Weiss, except I don't want to be mean to you, so I decided to dress like her, except for her shoes because they're stupid to walk in, especially since you can't possibly like Weiss because of her mean-ness, so it must be her appearance, which is why I copied it."

After rambling this off in one go, Nora simply beamed at Jaune happily.

Jaune just stared at her for a few moments while his brain processed all this. When it had, he just slapped his hand to his forehead, shaking his head slightly. He had never expected something like this, but at the same time he really should have. It seemed the most Nora thing that Nora could do, like her stilling wearing her trainers instead of Weiss' heels.

Well, that and she had just said she couldn't walk in them.

Sighing again, Jaune looked back at her. "But… why would you walk into the Cafeteria dressed like that?"

Nora gave him another look as if he was being daft. "That's where you were."

"But so was everyone else? People are going to talk about this? Don't you care what they think?"

Now Nora looked confused. "Of course not: they're not my boyfriend."

"What?"

For the third time in almost as many minutes, Nora looked at Jaune like he was daft. "You're my boyfriend. What matters to me is your opinion, not theirs. If you like it, then it doesn't matter if they hate it, or laugh at it."

For a moment, silence reigned between the two, as Jaune went through a sort of epiphany.

It was then broken as Jaune burst laughing. A genuine, happy, hearty laugh, while Nora watched on, still a little confused.

As he regained his composure, Jaune looked at Nora, a smile on his face. "You really don't, do you?"

Nora shook her head.

Jaune also shook his head, still smiling. Then, tilting his head towards the ceiling, he muttered, more to himself than anyone else, "Never where you expect it…"

"Jauney?"

"Nothing. Just something my Mother told me some time ago…."

Jaune let out a content sigh while still smiling, before looking back at Nora. "Well Nora, for what it's worth, you look really good in Weiss' dress. Perhaps better than Weiss herself."

And to his surprise, he meant it too.

Nora beamed.

"But," Jaune continued, "I don't think Weiss is too happy about this, so I'm afraid you'll have to get changed."

"Aww…" Nora pouted.

"Sorry Nora, but since you almost certainly didn't ask Weiss if you could borrow her clothes, you better put them back. Besides," he added, wanting to cheer her up, "you wanted me to see you in them, and I have, and like I said, you look really good."

Nora started beaming again. "Okay then Jauney."

She made her way to the door of their team's room, opened it, and was about to walk in when Jaune suddenly placed his hand on her shoulder.

Nora turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. "What is it Jauney?"

The look Jaune was giving her was akin to Yang when she found something to tease someone about.

"Actually Nora, would you be able to help me out with something?"

* * *

When Jaune returned to the cafeteria a few minutes later, it was with everyone looking at him, with plenty of them whispering and gossiping with each other. Jaune ignored them, grabbing a fresh breakfast (since the one he'd left would be cold by now).

Upon reaching the table where his friends were still sitting, he returned to his seat, pushing the remains of his first breakfast to one side, and looked at his friends.

They had all resumed eating, but all had awkward expressions on their faces, except for three of them.

Ren, a small smile on his face, was eating away without any concern.

Yang wasn't eating, but giving her evil smirk to Weiss, who she had undoubtedly been teasing.

And Weiss?

Weiss had a face like thunder, a look of anger and disgust that Jaune had never seen before.

Yang turned to Jaune now, clearly intending to tease him too.

"Well Vomit-boy? What was that about? Did Nora just reveal one of your little fantasies to the world?"

She gave a predatory smirk, while Weiss' right eye began to twitch violently.

To Yang's surprise, Jaune, smiling, ignored her and tucked into his breakfast. He had expected this from Yang.

Which was why he had enlisted the help of Nora.

As he made his way through his breakfast, he heard again people around them murmuring and gasping, followed by the clicking of scrolls.

He continued to eat, trying not to smirk.

And then he heard Nora's voice.

"Hi again!"

This was followed by a coughing, gagging sound, as if someone was chocking.

Trying not to let a smirk split his face, he turned to look at Nora.

She stood there as she had before, a new tray of pancakes in her hands, smiling broadly like before, and no longer wearing Weiss' clothes.

Instead, hanging loosely of her body, was Yang's clothes.

Well, the shirt and jacket were anyway. The black shorts and thigh-high boots fitted her just fine.

Jaune turned to look at Yang.

Now she was the one with a stroke-suffering, goldfish-imitating expression.

The smirk finally appeared on Jaune's face as he shuffled to the side to let Nora sit down.

Jaune still wasn't sure about this new found relationship with Nora. But she seemed intent on seeing it through. And there was nothing he could do to make her change her mind.

So he might as well make the best of the situation for the time.

* * *

**Typicalteenager:**

**So, remember when I 'asked' for someone to make a picture of Nora wearing Jaune's Onesie?**

**Well, if anyone wants to do Nora wearing either Weiss' or Yang's clothes, it would be most welcome.**

**Also: Hurray! I've actually managed to make a weekly update. Admittedly**** it was two different stories for each week, but still: a step in the right direction. Now I have to try and keep it up next week.**

**Who knows, maybe I'll be able to consider removing my ****self-appointed title of Paragon of Schedule Slippage.**

**Anyway, until next time, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter of The Blond and The Valkyrie.**


End file.

RWBY, Humor, Romance