Mega Man 1. The Random Block Of Nonsense

Disclaimer:I do not own any part of Megaman or Megaman X, all rights owned by Capcom. Also the first couple lines is taken from the poem in Black Sabbath's debut album in the booklet so yeah, it's owned by Tony Iommi,Ozzy Osbourne,Bill Ward and Geezer Butler. (There are slight alterations to the poem) 

Warning:This is crack humor,or a parody. If you don't like that sort of thing, please don't read it. Thank you.

Still falls the rain,  
the veils of darkness shrowd the blackened trees,  
yet in the mist of some unseen violence,  
a young boy sits at a pond,unaware of what beholds him,  
he smiles at the distant tolling bell and the still falling rain.

-Black Sabbath

In a time where no one knows who is to accompany them, a reploid named X turns to the screen of the video camera and says:

"My name is X, and I want to play with you!"

"CUT!!"

"Joey how are we suppossed to make this movie if you keep wanting to play with the people watching it!!!"

"Well I can't help it, I just have a natural curiosity." said Joey.

"You know Joey, something's telling me we are gonna have to get a new X."

"But,b-b-but I am a perfect fit!"

"That's the reason why we need a new one!"

"I CAN HELP!!" A mysterious voice filled the studio.

"HOLY COW IT'S DOCTOR PHIL!!!" He cried.

"First you must look at your problems,and attempt to seize them and do not choke them they need to breathe too!" said Philly

"But...I like my problems, they are my one true love!" said the director

"Have you been drinking lately?" said Philly

"Have you been watching your shows too much?" said the director

"Good point."said Philly.

Not too far away, the real X is feeling odd.

"What's the matter X?" questioned Zero.

"I have a strange feeling that a director who forgot his deoderant today is arguing with a docter who got an award for being the one doctor "people don't listen to" are arguing about things I don't even understand...IT IS TORTURE!!!!"

"I know! I think I'm gonna have to get Jackie Chan!!" said Zero

"I'M COMING JACKIE!!!" he shrieked.

-Back at the mental asylum people call a studio.

"I must be X because I spent 35 minutes Iin the bathtub today! While you forgot your deoderant! cried Philly

"That really hurt man!" said the director..."YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER TELL!!!"

"Remember, you're talking to Dr.Phil here!"

-Back at Pizza Hut.

"I WANT CHEESE NOT CHOCOLATE!!!" said Zero

"BUT WE ONLY SERVE CHOCONILLA ICE CREAM POO SUNDAES!!" said Pooh-bear.

"THEN WHY IS IT CALLED PIZZA HUT??"

"Believe me man you do NOT want to know!" said Pooh-bear

-back at-

"HALT THE STORY!!!"

"What?!"

"THAT'S RIGHT HALT THE STORY!!!"

"Why?"

"Because this is so random, it has no meaning at all and it makes absolutely no sense!!"

"That's the point bozo."

'Get a life and make a real story you wuss."

"Oh yeah...And just who are you?"

"I am your greatest nightmare...I am...A PLOT HOLE!!!!'

"NOOOOOOOO!!!How did you know I am allergic to prissy overly dressed pop divas?"

"What the hell? Pop diva? Oh, whatever. I went to college dork."

cries

"Ok people while we finish our laser fight you go ahead and read the story. ONWARD!!"

-Back at the Ranch

"You know X, I think the cows should get busy with the pigs."

"No Zero, I think the dogs should get busy with the farmer."

"HOW DARE YOU!!!" he jumped up, outraged.

"HIYA!! HERAHH!! HOHOHO!!!!!"

As Zero sliced with his Z-saber, X blasted away with his X-Buster ,they clashed and unleashed fury and 2 hours later:

"Hey X"

"Yeah"

"Well,we have been fighting for so long,I forgot to tell you that Winnie The Pooh left Pizza Hut!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSSED TO GET OUR CHOCONILLA POO SUNDAES NOW!!!

"I HAVE NO IDEA LET'S GET DOCTOR PHIL (that guy's goin' down)!!!!"

-Back at the Mental Asylum (studio)

"Take this Doctor!!"

"SHEEWAHH!!! MAGAGAGA!!! HOHOHOHOHO!!!" yelled Jackie Chan.

"How DARE you attempt to help people!!"

"HALT"

"Oh no it's...MOMMY!!!"

"No it's X, so DIE!!!!"

"RUN PHIL, RUN!!"

**Author's Notes:Hey pals! In my first serious note ever! (Wow a world record) I just want to say that this is my first fanfic so it is pretty rusty and the humor is quite primitive. If you enjoyed it, leave a review, I don't mind constructive criticism, just no flaming. Anyways you Pinocchio wannabe's, pull your toe out of your mouth and enjoy some humor!(Please take no offense in this I just got tired of being serious)**

**Shredder82**


	2. Philly's On The Run!

Disclaimer: Megaman and Megaman X does not belong to me.It belongs to Capcom.All references to Mickey Mouse or Winnie The Pooh owned by Walt Disney(Cooperation).All rights of characters thrown at random areas are owned by their rightful owners. 

"Whew!!" Breathed the author.

"Finally I got away from that crazy deranged pop diva!" He continued.

"I'M NOT A POP DIVA I'M-"

"No! Not Britney Spears! The horror, the sheer unadulturated horror!

"I AM GOING TO GO TO THE-"

"GET AWAY BRITNEY! GET AWAY!

(No Shredder82 does NOT have mental insurance for all of you who were wondering.)

"I must finish story, where to begin though?" Thoughts raced. Finally a conclusion was met.

"I shall begin writing thoughts!

'Why did I keep standing above a dudes head when I had to go number one?'

'Why is my toilet water normally blue but green now(it's been green for a while now)?'

'Why did Mickey Mouse take over pizza hut?'

'Why did X ask Zero if he was gay causing him to smile and say, "It's something I have been proud of for quite awhile now?" '

Wait a minute...

I gotta actually continue the story...

Er, sorry folks, read on.

Back in pizza hut:

"Why can't I have a choconilla poo sundae?" Plead Dr.Phil

"Because Winnie used to make those using his own special bathroom powers, I am not blessed with that ability. However I could make the choconilla part and you could take it into the restroom and finish the job." Stated Mickey Mouse smirking.

"Look man- I mean mouse, I am on the run right now, X is hunting me down and I need some brainfood." Mickey opened his mouth about to say something when a lady paused in front of Dr.Phil. Both paused and looked up.

"I am very sorry sir, but are you Dr.Phil?" Asked a mother.

"Yes.Why?"

"Run kids, run!" She shrieked, waving her arms.

"Why does that always happen?" He sobbed.

"Sorry Mickey gotta go." He recovered quickly.

"It's ok, I'm 80 years old now, I can wait."

"No I mean-"

"No worries man! Go do the big 1-2!"

"Fine!"

(End of toilet humor)

The next excerpt is from the pages of Dr. Phil's diary-

4-6-XX:  
Dear Diary,

This is a sad thing to say I know, but although I am still on the run, I'm starting to have an attraction to someone. That someone being...Sakura from Naruto!

"HOW DARE YOU!!!" A scream echoed causing him to stop writing suddenly.

"Wait, how did you get in my diary?" Was she really even in the diary?

"Well, after being called a pop diva so many times when I was trying to be a plot hole eventually got me fired and now I'm a diary investigator." Huh, so she was NOT in the diary. Whoops.

"I didn't know your favorite hobby was gettin' down' 'n' dirty,when you always advise against it in your thang!"

"Wow! How did you know that?!"

"I said it before and I'll say it again, I went to college dork!" She exited leaving him be with his little book. She would have been glad to know she had left at an oppropriate moment.

Diary, I love you!

Even though your a guy...

"Watch it buster!!" It appeared his diary was talking to him again.

"NOOOO! Maybe I'll get back to being on the run." He didn't seem to realize that this wouldn't solve his problems.

Meanwhile-

"Zero! How dare you!!"

"What can I say X but, I will MARRY YOU!!"

"Zero."

"Yeah?"

"You're really gay, you know that?"

"I like being happy!" (no offense was meant)

"To the readers: Hey readers it's X! I just want to say the above lines of highly inapropiate humor, were the result of crossing a chicken with a farmer. Thank you."

Back to the story:

"Ok Zero, where is that Philly!"

"He could be anywhere.Keep your eyes open for him and/or Jackie Chan, whichever comes first."

"Do you see that, Zero?"

"Honestly, I don't know if I want to see it."

(I'm not even gonna write what they saw, you're gonna have to figure that out yourself!)

"Maybe if we follow the sound of Iron Man, we might find Philly!"

Meanwhile:

"JOEY!!!"

"What is it this time?"

"Take a wild guess!"

"I so broke the camera! After that you ate the...stuff in the toilet and yelled "OOO-DAH-LALLEY!!!

"Ever since Philly left, you have gone from having a natural curiosity, to having an artificial curiosity, you know that?"

"STOP RIGHT NOW!" A mysterious voice announced.

"TAKE COVER! IT'S ZAKK WYLDE!!!

"Precisely! I came here to ask you what's the number for 911?"

"What?"

"Hey guys can I hide here?" said Philly

"Sure, why?"

"Well, Zero and X are making out and I am disturbed."

"I thought they were hunting you."

"They were, until they got, oh, let's say "interrupted."

"HOLY COW!!! IT'S JAMES BOND!!"

"Here we go again"

"Anybody want a touch?" said Joey

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" They all shrieked at once. They didn't even want to know where that had come from.

**Author's Notes: Hey fans!!I finally got back to this story!!I am sorry to say this is the last chapter of The Neverending Bridge Of Insanity unless I get requests for a 3rd chapter.As such I will leave the story "in progress" for 2 weeks and if, during that time I get 3 or more reviews requesting a 3rd chapter, I will continue the story, otherwise in 2 weeks I will make it complete and go on to my next story, so get your reviews in now!! The humor here is less primitive than chapter 1 but is more innapropiate and, honestly I prefer chapter 1 but you can like whichever one more.**

**See ya people!!! I gotta go suck on my toe!Babye now!!**


End file.

Mega Man, Humor, Parody