Harry Potter 1. The Education of Elladora Katteridge

**Title:** Gossiping Portraits

**Author:** enchanted nightingale

**Timeline:** Not sure. Harry is 17 and Lucius no longer his enemy.

**Summary:** The Portraits in Hogwarts Castle for Witchcraft and Whizardry have always had the best gossip mill. Then again they have to pass the time one way or another… And some offer juicier stories than others.

**Pairs:** Harry Potter/ Lucius Malfoy.

**Disclaimer: **The characters from Harry Potter books do not belong to me. I merely use them in my plot for fun.

**Chapter 1: The Education of Elladora Katteridge**

**ooooooooo**

Elladora Katteridge was born in 1656 in her home town Yorkshire. She was not a beauty, not really. She had long brown hair, breaded from the base of her neck, but tufts of hair escaped her bun, giving her a crazed look, grey eyes and a pale, yellowing complexion. Her father was Gulliver Katteridge, a proper pureblood and a scholar, her mother Emogene Katteridge, nee Nott, the best match for him.

Elladora had been a smart witch, her father used to say, a genius in Herbology and once even taught in Hogwarts for four years. She was well known for discovering the use for Gillyweed, a herb enabling the one who consumed it to be able to breathe underwater for an hour. When testing it she had nearly suffocated after eating it, discovering purely by accident –though she would never admit it- that she could only recover when she stuck her head in a bucket of water.

After that her usually gaunt features turned plumper, like she was permanently holding her breath, and her features turned a flushed color that clashed with her yellowish skin.

The day her portrait was taken she had turned fifty and had just gotten betrothed to Fjodor Malkin, a fine pureblood from Lyon that owned a clothing store in Diaghon Alley, London.

By the time she died in 1729, she bore two sons and won mastery in Herbology, up until a whomping cherry tree she was experimenting on hit her and threw her out of the greenhouse and thirty feet away, too young to die.

Still, she was a proper witch through and through.

So it was with little surprise how appalled she was when 'IT' happened.

There were rumors, like always, but usually never bothered her as the corridor on the third floor she occupied was quiet, away from the brats that were everywhere in the castle. She heard from Miss Violet that students were not as proper and decent as they used to be.

She had scoffed, thinking that Miss Violet had merely had eaten a few more chocolates filled with cherry liquor than usual, as scandalous as that was.

How could she have known then?

**ooo**

Harry gasped when he was slammed up against the stone wall. Then the muscled body that covered his smaller one was grinding and rubbing against him. He had been hard from earlier in the day, just watching him parading his body all over the school, covered in those robes, throwing him all those glances. He was so hot and bothered that he could barely sit still through lunch and skipped dinner altogether.

"Merlin, I missed you!" he moaned as he rubbed his growing erection against firm thighs.

"So did I my little lion," the man whispered huskily.

He stole Harry's lips in a hungry kiss, plunging deeper with his tongue, leaving the teen dizzy.

He tore his mouth away from Harry's, teasing the tender neck with his teeth and tongue.

"Ah, Lucius," Harry moaned.

The blonde chuckled and pushed him up against the wall, forcing his lithe legs around his waist, his own hardness pressing against Harry's clothed bottom.

"Sweet Morgana! You're hard already!" the teen protested half heartedly.

"I have been since the morning when I caught sight of you at the pitch," Lucius whispered in Harry's ear and then promptly licked it.

**ooo**

'Of all the nerve!' Elladora thought enraged. 'These things are not proper, not proper at all!'

She watched as the two men engaged in another kiss, not missing the bold hand that went under the teen's school blouse.

'Wait a minute! The blond does not wear a uniform!'

**ooo**

Harry tugged on Lucius' robes.

"Take them off!" he whined.

The blonde chuckled.

"I'm not going to."

The teen glared him but felt a hand unbuckling his belt, Lucius pulled back a bit and soon Harry's pants were on the floor and the green eyed Gryffindor was up against the wall, his bare bottom freezing cold.

Seeing him shiver, Lucius slipped a hand and caressed the smooth skin of his hard member, enjoying how it thrust in his grip.

"I'm freezing my butt here, literally," the teen told him. "Hurry it up!"

"I can't find my wand," the older wizard told him.

Harry reached down and undid Lucius' pants.

The blonde gasped when his young lover reached into his trousers and touched him. He hissed when Harry's hands tugged his member and then the teen set a rhythm.

"If you don't stop, I'm going to come," Lucius told him.

"Find your wand," Harry told him. "I'm not letting you in me without lube, I've got Quidditch practice tomorrow and I'd like to sit on the broom. Last time my teammates got suspicious. I was just thankful the Weasley twins are no longer here or I would not hear the end of it!"

Lucius checked his pockets and found the wooden wand.

He quickly muttered the spell and started preparing Harry.

**ooo**

Elladora was shocked when the pair started rocking against the corridor wall. Slowly the sound of their moans made her red, both in embarrassment and in anger. She decided to flee her portrait, for the first time in a decade and seek refuge with Violet. Perhaps drink a glass of sherry. Yes, that was a fine plan, she decided and fled just as the dark haired one started screaming.

"Oh, Lucius!"

**ooo**

**Next morning…**

Harry was late getting to the Great Hall for breakfast and when he did, Sir Nicholas, the Gryffindor ghost, accosted him in the entrance.

"Good morning," Harry told him.

The ghost smiled at him.

"Had fun last night Mr. Potter?"

The teen blinked and could only watch when the ghost glided away.

Then he was mortified.

"Merlin no!"

**oooooooo**

**A/N:** The name Elladora Katteridge and the info are from the PC game 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone', which I do not own, but it had some pretty awesome information in there and it was rather fun for me as well.

Tell me what you think of it.

There will be more chapters after that if it goes well, like many one-shots, separated but with a solid plot uniting them. Or at least that's the plan in my mind, I have no idea how it will work out.


	2. Fun after Quidditch

**Title:** Gossiping Portraits

**Author:** enchanted nightingale

**Timeline:** Not sure. Harry is 17 and Lucius no longer his enemy.

**Summary:**The Portraits in Hogwarts Castle for Witchcraft and Whizardry have always had the best gossip mill. Then again they have to pass the time one way or another… And some offer juicier stories than others.

**Pairs:**Harry Potter/ Lucius Malfoy.

**Disclaimer: **The characters from Harry Potter books do not belong to me. I merely use them in my plot for fun.

**

* * *

****Chapter 2: **

Bowman Wright stretched and yawned in his portrait, boredom getting to him. He looked like a dark lion, with his long dark hair and the mane-like beard on his bronze face. On the frame his date of birth (1492) and death (1560) were carved in elegant golden letters but the dates did not matter to the students and players of the Hogwarts Houses, or the Quidditch players around the world; after all this was the man that invented the Golden Snitch as a replacement for the endangered Golden Snidget, as a whim of his. He had taken combining his interest in science, magic and sports into a whole other level and the result had been appreciated by generations of Quidditch fanatics.

"Bye, Harry!" was heard from multiple voices coming from somewhere in the shower area of the Quidditch locker rooms.

The man in the plain, steel portrait fixed his grip on the broom he was polishing with so much care, at the same time batting away the tiny, golden, annoying ball that was known as the Snitch to everyone in the magical world that knew of Quidditch.

The boisterous group of Gryffindors waived at the once skilled metal charmer as they came out to the corridor that continued all the way to the castle.

Bowman waived back at them bored, greeting the few students he recognized, namely the twins.

Then Ginny bumped into something but no one was near her. She narrowed her eyes at something she thought but dismissed it soon after and hurried after her brother as Ron yelled at her to hurry or else miss dinner.

**ooo**

Harry sighed when he heard his team mates far away from him and the Gryffindor lockers and relaxed under the warm spray.

The practice had been brutal as the coming match with Slytherin was in a few days and he had pushed himself and the team harder than even Oliver used to train his team. He had been glad that his teammates had left him, he really needed the quiet.

He heard then the door slamming.

'It was good while it lasted,' the teen thought.

He toned down the shower.

"Ron? Is that you?"

"I think I should feel insulted," a deep, rich voice answered him.

Harry's green eyes widened at the familiar blonde he caught sight. They widened further when the man started undressing.

"Lucius," the teen gasped out.

The wizard paused in hi self appointed task and gave a pointed glance at Harry.

"Something you wanted…Captain?"

"Don't bloody stop!" the teen exclaimed loudly. Then he cursed himself for being so loud in the off chance someone was passing by the rooms.

Lucius chuckled in that way of his that you were never sure if he was laughing at you or if he was truly amused.

"It is dinner time, Harry. All those hungry teens won't pass up a chance to gorge themselves."

"Just hurry up and join me here," Harry almost whined.

Lucius rolled his eyes and with a flick of his wand he was naked under the warm water with Harry.

**o****oo**

Bowman batted the Snitch away and placed the broom he held aside in favor of his sketches. He was concentrating on them when he heard a muffled thud and voices from the locker rooms.

He frowned at the noise and wondered if someone stayed behind. In that case, they sounded like they were in pain. He feared that one members or players of the other Houses was here to sabotage the Gryffindors. With a sigh he left his portrait in order to check with the portrait of Joscelind Wadock (born in 1911 and still around) the famous red haired, freckled Chaser for Puddlemere United Chaser and guardian outside the Hufflepiff locker rooms but the man knew nothing.

One by one Bowman visited all the portrait guardians of the locker rooms.

Devlin Whitehorn (born in 1945) the one who founded the Nimbus Racing Broom Company in 1967 and consequently revolutionizing Quidditch as played in the twentieth and twenty first century. The man was brilliant and Bowman enjoyed talking with a fellow inventor but the man guarding the Ravenclaw locker rooms knew nothing of it.

Last, Bowman tried Fabius Watkins (1940 - 1975) Legendary Captain and Chaser for the Montrose Magpies who died in freak collision with helicopter, who held company in his portrait, one

Roderic Plumpton and Gwenog Jones **(A/N: see my author notes below for their introduction)**, all of them in a lively discussion on what else, Quidditch. "A student attacked you say?" Watkins frowned. Jones seemed to be in disbelief. "Are you sure old man?" Bowman glared the female for a second but worry won over ire. "We better come with you," Plumpton decided.

**ooo**

Harry moaned when Lucius moved against him, their wet skin adding to the friction.

"The benches are narrow," the blonde whispered in pauses between licking Harry's skin.

"Mmm."

"Are you even listening?" Lucius asked.

Harry cracked an eye open and glared at the man. "Does it really matter? Just get to my cock."

Lucius chuckled. "Bossy brat." And then he continued teasing the teen, trailing his lips lower until they touched the soft skin of the Gryffindors hardness.

Harry hissed when Lucius licked the head and then took him in his mouth.

The teen threw his head back and closed his eyes.

Lucius pulled back and Harry made a complaining sound at the back of his throat.

"Don't stop," the teen half ordered, half whined.

"Open your eyes Harry."

Green eyes glazed with lust focused on him with difficulty. He was greeted with the sight of Lucius on his knees, long, blonde locks in disarray, a hand on Harry's fully erect cock and his mouth only inches away from touching him.

"Merlin Lucius…"

The aristocrat smirked and licked the head making Harry groan. He continued with his task making sure the teen below him kept his green orbs open.

**ooo**

Bowman waited while the Quidditch players followed him to his portrait.

They waited.

"Are you sure you heard something?" Roderic asked dubious of the former metal charmer.

"I don't hear anything," Jones added her own two sickles.

**ooo**

Harry whined when Lucius' mouth left him but found no time to protest when he heard the man mutter the lubrication spell the teen became familiar with days after he started dating the older wizard.

**ooo**

"This is a loss of time," Jones said irritated, ready to return to her own portrait.

"_Harder!"_

The wizards and witch on the portrait stopped.

"Heard that?" Bowman asked.

"We all did," Joscelind Wadock replied.

"_Oh, yes!"_

"That doesn't sound like fighting to me," Roderic said with a smirk.

Jones smiled slyly and Wadock smacked Roderic on the head.

"_Lucius!__ "_

"_Harry!"_

"Definitely not fighting," Jones said.

"You can't mean…" Bowman trailed off.

"Oh, she does," Roderic smirked.

"You are a pervert," Wadock glared at the younger wizard who just shrugged.

**ooo**

Harry finished putting his clothes on and Lucius charm-dried his long blonde hair and then did the same for Harry.

"Thanks!" the teen beamed and gave him a chaste kiss.

He skipped up front and Lucius followed pinning him to the pillar just there on the exit of the structure.

"That was not a proper way to say goodbye Harry," the blonde hissed and crushed his lips on Harry's.

Harry mewled and arched up, rubbing against Lucius like he had not just had sex with the man. Then he pushed Lucius back panting.

"Not here!" he hissed. "Someone might see us!"

"Shying now?"

"No! I just don't fancy having nearly-headless-Nick smiling knowingly at me. That was more embarrassing than words can describe." He shuddered for effect and Lucius laughed.

"As you wish lover," the blonde wizard agreed and walked away with a smirk.

Harry sighed and started on his long way back to the castle.

None of them noticed the gob-smacked expressions on the occupants of Bowman's portrait.

Gwenog Jones recovered from the shock first and smirked in that way of hers that showed her amusement and no small amount of smugness. "Now I know why Elladora Katteridge threw such a hissy fit."

**

* * *

************************End of chapter**

**A/N:**I hope you like it and I did not tire you with the names and short biographies.

**A/N**** 2:**I took the description for Bowman for a later card, one where he is brunette and not blonde.

A/N 3: Roderic Plumpton (889 – 1987) **Seeker** for the **England National Team** and the **Tutshill Tornados**. Holds British record for fastest capture of **Golden Snitch** during game: three and a half seconds. This happened in 1921 and the move he used to make the catch is now called the **Plumpton Pass**. Plumpton maintains the catch was totally intentional and not sheer dumb luck. Gwenog Jones (**1968**-) **Hogwarts** (**1979**- **1986**). Captain and **Beater** of the only all-female professional **Quidditch team**, the **Holyhead Harpies**. After a game she enjoys relaxing with friends, drinking **butterbeer**, and listening to **The Weird Sisters**. It has been said of Jones that "people who disagree with [her] have a nasty habit of turning into **woodlice**." She herself says that the **Harpies** "are easily the most exciting team playing," and added that witches make better **Quidditch**players than wizards. It is doubtful that anyone will disagree with her to her face. Gwenog was a favorite of **Horace Slughorn**'s while at **Hogwarts**. She was a member of his **Slug Club**. She still sends **Slughorn** free tickets to see the **Harpies** play whenever he wants them. He even invited her to one of his parties while back at **Hogwarts** during the **1996 - 1997 school year**, and **Hermione**met Gwenog there.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor