Next Step The Diary Situation

**BRITTANY'S POV**

During filming the episode 'Make a Plan to Love Me', one mistake changed everything. Here's how it happened

I arrived on set, early in the morning and Chloe came up to me, as I was pouring myself a bowl of cereal in craft.

"Hey Brittany, could I ask a favour of you?" she asked. I smiled, setting my bowl of cereal down on the table and turning to look at her,

"Sure! What do you need?" I asked.

"Well for some of the scenes today we need an old journal or diary. Would you happen to have one?" she asked. I thought for a second. I should have one from when I was little.

"I do. I'll call my mom and ask her to bring it to your office," I told her. She smiled,

"Thanks," she said, and walked away. I pulled my phone out of my sweater pocket and dialled home to Brampton. Someone picked up on the second ring,

"Hey sweetheart," my mom's voice said on the other end. I smiled,

"Hi mom. Listen, I don't really have time to chat right now because I'm at the set. But could you bring something here?" I asked, hopeful that she could come.

"Of course honey. What is it that you need?" she asked.

"Well, Chloe asked me if I had a journal for a scene today. Could you bring the journal I have under my bed? It's a dull pink-ish brown with a green spine and it had stickers all over the front," I told her, describing a journal I kept when I had gone to a summer camp at age eight.

"Sure thing sweetie," my mom said, "I'll see you soon," and then she hung up. I tucked my phone away and turned back around to pick up my bowl of cereal, but it was missing. I looked over and saw Lamar with the pink bowl and my FiberOne cereal, and he was eating it. I growled under my breath,

"Lamar!" I shouted at him. He stopped mid-spoonful, "That's my cereal! Stop taking it every morning!" I said. I shook my head, stomping off to get ready for the day, without breakfast.

When I had gotten out of hair and wardrobe, Trevor, Isaac, Victoria, and Chloe walked in to makeup.

"Brittany, your mom dropped off your book," Chloe said, and tossed a bag to Trevor, since he would be using it in the first scene we shot today, "Don't lose that, it's not yours," Chloe warned Trevor. He grinned and sat down in the makeup chair across from mine on the opposite side of the room.

"Hey Brit? Mind if I read your journal?" Trevor asked. I looked at him, confused.

"I guess so," I said as the makeup lady stood in front of me, "But it's just my old summer camp journal, from when I was 8," I told him, "It'll probably boring," I added. I closed my eyes as the lady began to do my makeup.

"Ok, I'll try not to drift off," Trevor said with a sarcastic tone and chuckled.

**TREVOR'S POV**

I pulled the book out of the bag and held it in my hands. I was a bright pink book with brown swirls on it and it had a dark green spine. Brit's name was scribbled across the front with black marker. I flipped open the cover and the inside was pasted with The Next Step pictures. I was a bit confused. Brit said she wrote in this when she was eight. I flipped quickly through the book and stopped at a page that was book marked… with a picture of Brit and I from the first day on set of season one? I smiled, pulling the picture out and looking at it. I looked up at Brit. Her eyes were still closed, so I looked back to the book. I began to read the book marked page:

_Date: August 21st/2012_

_Subject: Trevor_

_So…Uh…Trevor and I kissed…_

_Yeah I know it was just for a scene. And I know dwelling about it is unprofessional. And yes, I know he has a girlfriend…But…I like him. And I'm scared about how the scene today will affect our friendship. He's such a sweet guy. I've never really had a friend like him before. Oh, why is he so damn cute?! Why do I have to fall for him? Can't we just be together already?!... Oh great, now I sound desperate. I really don't like this zone. We're closer than friends, but not as close as a couple, and it bugs me so much. Love is too complicated…_

_-Brittany,_

_Xoxo_

I stared at the end. There was no way this was her camp journal. Her mother must have brought the wrong book. I couldn't believe what I had just read. Brit had a…crush on me? I was shocked. I really liked Brit, as a good friend of course. But only because I had no idea she felt this way about me. I had a bit of a crush on her a while ago, but had to push it away because I had a girlfriend I was faithful to. But not anymore. She broke up with me a week ago, and I hadn't told anyone yet. Now that I knew Brit felt this way about me, I had a good shot with her. I smiled and slipped the picture back into its spot and flipped to Brit's most recent entry. It was written last night:

_Date: August 10th/2013_

_Subject: Us?_

_Do you ever just wish you could disappear? I do sometimes. Sometimes I just can't take the "harmless" jokes that everyone says about Trevor and I. Like yesterday on set; Everyone was reading the script for tomorrow, for an episode called "Make a Plan to Love Me" and I just knew right then and there, that it was going to be a "Jiley thing". But anyways… it wasn't five minutes after we had run our lines, that the jokes started. I just couldn't stay there and listen to it all, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. How was I expected to stay there? I can't help the way I feel! Sometime I just wish that I wasn't apart of all this; that I wasn't here, that wasn't Riley, that I hadn't met him. Sometimes I just wish it would all…disappear. But I always remember how my life has become better because of him. With Trevor as a friend, I feel cared about; I feel accepted. And when I'm with him, I almost always forget about the scars. I can't have him, but I don't want to lose him…I feel so lost…._

_-B.R._

_Xoxo_

I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished reading. I had no idea she was like this; that she felt so strongly for me; that she was like this, because of me. I read the last little bit again and realized that I had missed something key: "I almost always forget about the scars". What scars? What was going on? What had she been…or still is, hiding? I needed to confront her. I stood up out of my seat, holding the diary. The makeup lady finished Brit's makeup and walked away. I stood behind Brit as she opened her eyes and saw me in the mirror. She instantly smiled, but lost her smile as quick as it came when she saw the tears in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking at my reflection in the mirror. "I should be asking you the same thing" I thought. I gently touched her shoulders and sighed. I could barely find the right words to say.

"Brit…don't ever think that you aren't loved, ok? I'm your friend…I'm here for you… I care about you enough to love you…Just please, Brit, don't keep these things to yourself," I told her softly, and then gently set the book down on her lap, open to her newest entry. I watched as she looked down at the book and began to tear up. I gently stroked her hair and waited for a moment as she tried not to sob. I walked around her chair and knelt in front of her. I saw tears stream down her cheeks as her face was partially covered by her short brown hair. I gently and slowly reached up and touched her cheek softly with my palm. "Please look at me…." I asked softly and quietly. She didn't move for a moment, but slowly her eyes opened and she lifted her head a bit. I just looked at her for a second, "I love you, ok…you need to know that," I said. I lifted her head a little more, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner… but, I had no idea you felt this way for me…and Brit, I blame myself…for making you feel this way. If I had followed my heart sooner, everything would have been ok for you," I told her softly. She was now looking deep into my eyes, as if she was trying to look into my soul, while holding back more tears. "Brit…I love you…more than words could explain," I added, and pushed her bangs behind her ears. Then I slowly moved in, and closed my eyes as our lips met and we kissed slowly, for several seconds. I could feel her face get warm under my pal and her bottom lip was quivering against mine. When I slowly pulled back and opened my eyes, she was staring at me,

"You…you love me?" she managed to ask. I nodded, and let a small smile slip onto my face. It was so different seeing Brit in this fragile state, when she wasn't doing for the camera.

"So much," I said, holding her hands, "And you're the one I really want to be with," I added. I saw a slight smile form on her lips,

"Trevor… if you mean it…kiss me like you love me…not like you pity me," she said, slowly. I touched her cheek again, and kissed her once more; this time faster, and rougher than the first. I kissed her a little longer, before slowly pulling away from her lips. She smiled at me, and I helped her up out of the chair, pulling her into a tight hug. She buried her face in to my shirt.

"No more secrets, ok?" I asked. She pulled her face out of my shirt, "You'll tell me everything that's wrong?" I added. She nodded,

"I promise," she said. There was a moment of silence between us until Brit spoke again, "We should probably head to set now," she suggested and pulled out of our hug, and we slowly walked to the set, her hand in mine.

**BRITTANY'S POV**

Later that night I was getting cleaned up for bed; I had washed up and had my pj's on. I flopped into bed and turned on the TV in my room. I hadn't been watching for more than five minutes when the doorbell rang. I looked out the bedroom window and saw a familiar car in the driveway. I hopped out of bed and rushed to the door, opening it. Trevor was standing there.

"Hi," I said, letting him in, "What are you doing here at this hour?" I asked. He smiled,

"I thought you might want this back," he said, handing me my diary. I blushed and took it from his hand, and thanked him. His face suddenly looked very serious.

"What?" I asked, a bit concerned for his unsettlingly serious face. I set the book down and he took my hands in his, looking into my eyes,

"Brit? We said no more secrets, right?" he asked. I nodded, "Then will you please tell me what you meant by 'you almost always forget about the scars' when we're together?" he asked. I flinched, remembering what I had written in the book. I squeezed his hands and pulled him to my bedroom. I stopped in front of the bed and told him to sit. I stood in front of him,

"About 4 months before I met you, I went through a phase of depression. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be loved by someone," I began. I slowly lifted my shirt and pulled off my pyjama top, "So I began to cut myself,"

**TREVOR'S POV**

Brit took off her top and was now standing in front of me in her pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt bra. Then she told me she cut herself?! I looked at her stomach and saw 5 or 6 scars across her skin. I sat, stunned, horrified, that such a beautiful girl would do that to herself. I stood up from the bed and moved closer to her. She didn't look up as I approached, but stayed completely still instead. I gently touched a faint scar on her right side. I counted a total of 7 scars. Then I noticed a small bit of red peering out from the elastic of her pants. I pushed it down and inch or two with my finger and exposed the entire mark. This one was red, enflamed, and scabbing. It was fairly new. I gently touched it and Brit winced and inhaled sharply. I looked up and our eyes briefly met.

"When did you get this one?" I asked, looking back at it.

"Bout two days ago…" she said, quietly, "When I excused myself from the group when they were 'joking around'," she added, "The first in almost 3 years,"

I looked back up at her face,

"Why would you do something like this?" was all I could find myself to ask.

"I never used to be as…rational, as I am now. I used to question why I was given beauty if I couldn't find anyone who loved me. So I resorted to cutting myself to 'fix' the problem," she explained. "Trevor, I didn't really want to cut myself. So when I met you, and we became close, I felt like I had succeeded in finding love, in a way. So I stopped cutting myself. The seventh scar was made only 3 months after I met you," she added. She began to tear up again, "You fixed me in a way, Trevor. You saved me, from myself,"

I stared into her eyes,

"Brit… from this point forward, I will love you. As long as you promise me that you will never pick up a knife with the intensions of harming yourself," I told her.

"I promise," she said, nodding. I leaned in, kissing her gently, wrapping my arms around her waist. Her arms slinked around my neck. And her hands weaved into my hair. I picked her up, still kissing her, and swung her around, setting her down on the bed. We broke our kiss and I crawled up on the bed, next to her. My hand gently ran across her bare skin and she shivered at my touch.

"Cold?" I asked sweetly. She shook her head,

"No…just…it's a new feeling. I've never been felt like this before. I've had anyone hold me in a loving way. Guys have only touched me for dancing only… And every time you touch me, be it my hand, or my cheek, or…my stomach, you're so gentle… But I like it," she said to me. I smiled,

"I've only ever been like that with you," I said. She smiled at me and we kissed again. After several minutes, I pulled away from her lips, "Brit, it's getting late…I've got to drive home yet," I told her. She gazed up at me, with those gorgeous brown eyes.

"Do you have to…?" she asked. I knew she wanted me to stay.

"I do," I say, giving her another kiss. She pulled back after a moment,

"Trevor?" she asked. I looked down at her.

"Yes, Brit," I said. She took a deep breath,

"This is probably a stupid question…but, does this mean we're together?" she asked. I smiled at her,

"Do you wanna be together?" I asked her, with a sly smile.

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want to," she said, looking down at my chest, avoiding eye contact. Then her eyes briefly met mine.

"Is that a yes?" I asked. She nodded, slowly, with a smile on her face.

"Yeah," she said softly. I grinned and pulled her closer to me, kissing her deeply. Suddenly she started to giggle and then she laughed right out of our kiss. I looked at her funny,

"What?" I asked, smiling at her as she chuckled.

"We sounded so much like Riley and James from season one, just now," she giggled. I realized it too and laughed along with her. After her giggle fit stopped, I slowly sat up in the bed and so did she.

"Brit I really do have to go, even though I want to stay," I reminded her, as I got up. She stood up off the bed and I pulled her into a tight hug. "Tomorrows another day to be together. And I'll pick you up tomorrow morning," I added. I gave her one final long kiss, and whispered "I love you" into her ear, before turning and going.

**BRITTANY'S POV**

I slowly walked over to the window and watched as Trevor's car pulled out of the driveway. When the tail lights finally disappeared into the night, I closed the curtain, and climbed into bed. I picked up my phone and sent one last message out before pulling up the covers and falling into a deep sleep.

**TREVOR'S POV**

4 blocks from Brit's place my phone buzzed. I glanced at the screen:

"I love you too"

-Brit

I smiled. What a perfect way to end the night….


End file.

Next Step, Hurt-Comfort, Romance