Final Fantasy VII Shera's time to shine.

Author's note: I don't own FF7, the rights anyway... Anyway, most of the characters in this story are copyright Squaresoft, and  
Several are copyright the creators of the FPS series (You guys ROQ!). Lastly, Aren Riszk is copyright Aren Riszk.  
  
  
Shera's time to shine.  
  
The sun was out in the pleasant day which was occuring at this point. Chocobos were warking, Monsters were growling, and Cid was cussing, all in all, a relatively normal day.  
  
"Where's the #!#@%$#@$#%$#@ Tea Shera?" Cid was saying as he rummaged  
through random drawers in their kitchen. Shera emerged from the storeroom and sighed.  
  
"We're all out Captain... I'll go to the store and get  
some." She said as she grabbed her purse and coat. Cid slumped onto the couch and grumbled a few more swear words. So Shera left on her quest to obtain Cid his tea.  
  
After she left, however, A few dark-suited people came into the room. They snuck up on Cid, whacked him with a blackjack, stuffed  
him in a sack, left a note, then left in a hurry. A few minutes later Shera returned.  
  
"Captain, I'm home!" She shouted as she wiped her feet on the doormat. She entered the Living room, looked around for a few seconds  
and sighed again. "He must be out toying with the bronco..." She thought as she set the grocery bag down and headed outside. Try as she might, she could not locate Cid anywhere, so she decided to put the groceries away.  
  
She picked up the bag, and noticed that a white piece of  
paper was under it. "What's this?" She thought as she began to read.  
  
"If you ever want to see Cid again, bring 9,999,999 gil  
to these coordinates..." was what was written on the sheet of  
paper. Shera gasped. "Someone kidnapped Cid? Oh my... I don't have that kind of money... neither do his friends. I guess I'll have to go on a *Tactical Infiltration Mission* to save him..." She said as she headed into her room.  
  
She pushed a button under her desk, which caused her dresser to whirl  
around, revealing a Gun-rack, a bangle storage area, and a materia bag. She grabbed a machine gun, a couple pistols, her bangle, and  
the bag of materia.   
  
Most people didn't know this about Shera, but before she got her degree in Engineering and Astrophysics, she had been considered for the Turks. Her sharpshooting skills were second only to Vincent Valentine's, and she kept them up by practicing when Cid was out with the gang. She loaded the machine gun with materia and ammo, slid the pistols into some holsters, tied a camo-headband around her forehead, then looked in the mirror and smiled.  
  
"I'd better bring some tea and cigarettes also, I doubt the Captain's captors will be giving him his daily dose..." She thought as she walked into the kitchen. After brewing the tea, and locating a stash  
of smokes, she headed into the back yard and hopped into the Bronco.  
  
She plotted a course to the coordinates listed on the piece of paper and took off into the sky. About halfway there, however, she ran into a storm, which forced her to make a forced landing. She exited the Bronco, and headed for a nearby house. Finding it deserted, she sat down on the bed and sighed.  
  
"Geez, Just because this author wants a longer fic, I couldn't go directly to Cid..." She muttered as she smashed her fist into a  
pillow. She then got up and began to explore the house that she had entered.  
  
"Not much on the decor..." She muttered as she pushed some cobwebs out of the way and headed into another room. There wasn't much in this room either, save a large grandfather clock. She toyed around with it for a while, then headed back into the room with the bed. It seemed that her examination of the clock had yielded some results, as the floor on the opposite site of the room had slid open and revealed stairs going down.  
  
"That's odd... But I might as well investigate this..."  
She said as she began to walk down the winding stairs. After what seemed like a few minutes, she reached the bottom. "Where is this place? On the world map, it looked to be the Chocobo Sage's house...." She thought as she scanned the area. Upon hearing voices, she dove behind a box and gripped her machine gun.  
  
"Just put that over there..." Someone said. A few seconds later and a large thud was heard near Shera's position. "Now let's go and  
get something to eat." With heavy footfalls, they left the area. Shera  
breathed a sigh of relief and stood up to examine the box. Inside the box were things that looked like white materias. The box was labeled Aerist group in costa. A note was also on top of the white materias. "Take these to Costa-del-Sol and sell them to that Aerist Congregation... You'll make millions." The note was signed with a single letter... Y.  
  
"I've heard of that group... Lead by a youthful preacher  
named Aren Riszk... I'd better call him..." Shera thought as she pulled out her PHS and dialed the number.  
  
Over in Costa-Del-Sol, a phone rang inside a small church. A young man  
walked over and picked it up. "Aren Riszk here, Souls saved, spirits freed, enemies slain... How can I help you?"  
  
"Mr. Riszk, this is Shera Highwind. Apparently someone  
has begun to make fake white materias and is hoping to sell them to your congregation." Shera said quietly.  
  
"I know, I just got off the hot-line with the Lady. This sacrilege will not go unpunished." Aren replied as he hefted his bastard  
sword into the air.  
  
"Well, If you can trace this line, you'll find the place where they're doing it." Shera said.  
  
"Thanks for you help." Aren replied over the PHS.  
  
"Yeah, well... You're lucky I was here to see it all go down." Shera said as she dropped her PHS near the box. Drawing one of her pistols, she attached a silencer to it, and crept down the hall. Inside of a few nearby rooms, she found random items. Like gil, Potions, a piece of the 1/35 soldier, and a tissue.  
  
"I hate this random nonsense. Why can't I be in MGS, where all the items there have some kind of use..." Shera muttered as she  
tossed the items into her inventory. At the end of the hall was an elevator door, Shera opened it, and pressed the button for the bottom floor. Some annoying elevator music came on, and She listened to it for about thirty seconds before blasting the speaker into nothingness.  
  
Several guards lay in wait for Shera at the bottom floor, and when the door opened, they riddled the elevator with bullets.  
However, they had picked the wrong one, and only managed to kill Biggs and Wedge. A few seconds later, the other elevator door opened, and Shera rolled out of the elevator. She emptied an entire clip into the guards, and saw numbers appear over them.  
  
"5831... not bad." She said as the guards disappeared,  
leaving behind a small pile of gil and a few items. She slapped another clip into her pistol and continued on her way. About halfway down the hall, a large, hulking creature appeared and muttered "....Stars...." Shera shook her head and replied. "Wrong game. You want RE3, which is three dimensions over that way..." The creature nodded and disappeared. Shera continued on her way, and finally came to a warehouse. She hid near some boxes and looked around.  
  
However, she didn't have much time to view her surroundings, because a  
snowmobile came in through the underground enterance, jumped in the air, and exploded in what could be called a super-high-budgeted  
Bondish way. Out of the smoke came Aren Riszk, Flinging magic and random explosive devices around. All the while, he was singing the Canameridan anthem.  
  
When most of the fires died down, the bad guys were out of commission, and Aren was smiling.  
  
"It pays to have a large spy-gear budget." Aren said as he blew a few more things up for good measure. Shera took that opportunity  
to climb down a ladder and greet him.  
  
"Ahh, The real Shera, we meet at last." Aren said as he put out his hand for her to shake. She shook his hand and looked at him strangely.  
  
"Real Shera?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah, there's a few Imposters running around..." Aren replied as he  
sheathed his bastard-sword.  
  
"What kind of impostors?" She asked. Her question was answered as a video screen came out of the wall. The screen turned itself  
on, and the duo saw a feed of someone who looked like Shera, but wasn't.  
  
"Like me." The person replied.  
  
"Agent Aya?!" Shera replied, a mite shaken up. "But you're dead."  
  
"Yeah, I've died a bunch of times thanks to the agents  
of FPS, and now it's time for revenge. I've got Cid captive, and if they don't stop killing me off in every story.... I'll give him Decaf Tea!" She said as she began to laugh maniacally.  
  
"You...Harlot!" Shera shouted as she aimed her pistol at  
the screen and blew it into a thousand pieces. "That's going too far, I've gotta save him soon..."  
  
"I can help." Aren replied. "Besides, I might run into Yuffie down here, and I owe her one."  
  
Shera nodded and the pair began to scour the room.  
Eventually they found a door and went through. After some random encounters that were all too frequent, the arrived at a set of large doors.  
  
"On three..." Shera began. "One...Two...Three!" as they charged at the door, it opened on it's own and they fell flat on their faces. Once they stood up, Aren had to duck a shuriken.  
  
"Like... Darn!" A voice came in from across the room.  
  
"Yuffie?" Shera asked.  
  
"Nope, Sniper Yuffie!" Sniper Yuffie replied from across  
the room as a shuriken nearly hit Shera.  
  
"Comeon Aren... According to the laws of Metal gear solid... We've gotta do some *Extreme Sniping Action!*" Shera said as she took  
out her rifle.  
  
Aren however, didn't care for such nonsense, and ran foward to where Yuffie was.  
  
"My name is Aren Riszk... You Decieved my followers.... Perpare to die." He said as he administered the Dropkick of Holy Judgement.  
This action sent Yuffie through a few walls and right into Aya's Office.  
  
"I stand corrected." Shera said as she began walking through the large holes Yuffie had left in her wake.  
  
Aya grumbled as Shera entered the office. Aren came in, but only to drag Yuffie out to beat her up some more.  
  
"So we meet at last Shera..." Aya said in true villianesque fashion. Shera shrugged and pointed her gun at Aya.  
  
"Hand over Cid, and I may spare your life." She said. Aya brought out her heavily modified gun from PE.  
  
"Please, my Gun's better." Aya replied as she aimed at Shera. It looked like it would be another Chichéd Matrix standoff, but when  
Aya fired her gun, the recoil was so great that it blew her out of her shoes, through the wall, and all the way into... ANOTHER DIMENSION!  
  
Shera shrugged and found her way down to Aya's dungeon. In one of the cells was Cid.  
  
"Man, am I glad to %^$%&!#&!#$%!@%@# See you..." Cid said as Shera opened the door.  
  
"I bet you'll be happier to see these..." Shera replied as she brought out the cigs and the tea.  
  
Instead, Cid took Shera into his arms, and said. "Gimme some sugar baby..."  
  
"Sorry sir, I forgot the sugar at home..." Shera's statement was silenced as Cid planted a good one on her.  
  
"Now let's get out of this #@$^%@$%^ place." Cid said after he let Shera go.  
  
They passed Aren, who had finished pummeling Yuffie, and had just called the Canameridan Clean up crew.  
  
From then on, Cid always went to the store and bought plenty of tea.  
  
Shera went back to designing rockets for Cid, and  
eventually, they went on a honeymoon cruise into the stars.  
  
Aren Riszk went on to become the President of Canamerida, and his religion became a big hit.  
  
Yuffie was resurrected by a strange cult of Bakas, who worshipped her forever.  
  
Aya continued to be abused by the FPS crew, and eventually forgave them as her popularity soared.  
  
The End...  
  
Cid: ::comes back:: Damn! Again?!  
  
Allright. The Show's over, so go home!  
  
Cid: That's better. ::leaves:: 


End file.

Final Fantasy VII, Humor