Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'm not JKR. Thx for thinking it.

Intro:

You see my fair readers, Harry Potter went back in time to fix his life and save his parents. He did this by convincing Sirius to stay Lily and James's secret-keeper. This created an alternate dimension.

And, in this alternate dimension, one Sirius Black passed his wisdom along to Fred and George Weasley. He told them to hide their talent for mischief until their 5th year when they could become Prefects.

Then all heck could break lose. So this is where we begin, Harry Potter's 3rd year. (Fred and George's 5th .)

Chapter One:

I take a deep breath. I slit open my letter, but don't look yet. "Alright Fred, Sirius. Fred's not a Prefect, so our work hangs on this letter." I flip the envelope upside-down, with my eyes closed. Fred and Sirius lean forward. I open my eyes. We look at each other and grin.

I did it. I'm a Prefect. Our hard work paid off. School's gonna be wild this year.

Suddenly Ron bursts in. 'Harry's lost his socks again…" he trails off seeing the badge on my bed. I grin again.

"Fancy that huh?"

Ron yelled, "Mum!" he turned to run down the stairs. "Mum! George's a Prefect!"

Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Mum, and Dad all flock around my bedroom. I flash my badge. Mum nearly faints.

Plan Part A: check.

Plan Part B: going into action.

A/N: Like it? I hope so! This is pure comedy peeps; enjoy it all you can!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thx to my reviewer, hbjbkjfan. Now for Chapter Two…**

Chapter Two: Fred

George and I board the train. We both walk slowly towards Lee Jordan. George nudges him as he walks past. I'm beginning to get excited. Part B will soon commence.

I sit down on one end of the train while Lee is on the other. Once the train starts moving, George will begin his rounds. He will be spreading the word to our network of rule-breakers in hiding (RBIH). Over the summer I have been creating new sweets and such. These will be slipped onto the trolley by RBIH. Then George will offer a plate of candies "bought" of the trolley to the Slytherin Prefects. If it all works, nothing will happen for five minutes, which by then they will have given some to all the other Slytherins.

Here goes. The train is moving. Boo-yah. I sit near a group of Slytherins and wait for the trolley. When it comes I stand up and pretend to look while I slip some booger biscuits into the trolley.

George comes by looking pleased. "It worked! The Slytherins took the bait hook, line, and sinker." We high five, then sneak out to watch the Slytherins in the next compartment.

A Prefect comes by with a plate of booger biscuits, mixed minds, and 'fro fudge. We stare with baited breath.

They all take a piece. In five seconds, things begin to happen. One of them, an unpleasant boy named Grot Nimsky, got a humongus afro. Another named Silvia It's nose began to run and swell. It promptly looked like a biscuit. Mixed mind wouldn't start working until we got to school, but oh well. It was freaking funny. Especially Grot Nimsky. His 'fro was rainbow, big, and orange.

**A/N: Sorry if you found it a little pathetic, but it won't be. More will be funny later. The pranks will escalate. The Slytherins… I'll speak later.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thx again to all my reviewers! Loopygirl33, the great Padfoot, hpjbkfan, and Sour Kreem. I know, it seems amazing, doesn't it? Now, to Hogwarts!**

Chapter Three: George

The First Night

Fred and I sneak skillfully towards the dungeons, Filibuster's Fireworks in our hands. Fred sees one of our 'strategic' places and darts of to place a firework. I meanwhile head towards Snape's classroom. We decided it should be me, since I could say that I had confiscated them if I was caught. 

Finally. The classroom. I placed one underneath Snape's cauldron. As soon as he lit the fire underneath, fireworks would go off. I hid some more in other fire pits, since maximum damage would then be achieved.

Now, for the tricky part. Fred and I met in another part of the dungeons that Neville had told us about. The Slytherin Common Room. Dinner was still going on upstairs, so Slytherins would be coming down soon. We hid behind a pillar to wait.

Soon, dinner was over and a flood of Slytherins came down. We had performed a few quick spells so that we looked like Slytherins. We followed the others in. We sat down in the common room to pretend to hate muggle-borns while we waited for the flood to die out and for everyone to be asleep.

Once they were, we sneaked into the dormitories and pulled out the dye we had in our pockets. Red and Gold. We carefully painted streaks into Slytherins hair the entire night. We were very sleepy, but we still had to go to breakfast. We wanted to see this.

The whole school started laughing as the Slytherins, who had not noticed yet, walked in. A side effect we had made in the dye was that it made their hair fuzzy. A huge Gryffindor colored afro on every Sltherin. The perfect thing for every morning.

We had Potions first that day. Ah, the fun never ends there. First Snape yelled at every Gryffindor and took away 30 house points. Then, here's where the fun really starts, he told us all to light our fires. 

Almost immediately, fireworks began to shoot up all around. He lit his, since they were quiet fireworks and hadn't noticed them yet, and a humongous boom rocked the castle. Snape sat up. His hair was matted and burnt, and his face was turning an ugly shade of red through the soot. "Who did this?" He bellowed. "Who?"

The Gryffindors sat stock still, trying not to laugh. He, in turn, gave us all detention. Me excluded. Snape grudgingly admitted I was a Prefect and could not have done it. Ha-ha on him.

**A/N: Did you like it? Was it longer? I think it was…**

**GO GEORGE AND FRED!**


	4. Chapter 4

Tribe of Rushing Water

**Disclaimer: I am not JKR. Nor was I in chappie three.**

**A/N: Thx again to all my reviewers! Loopygirl33, the great Padfoot, hpjbkfan, and Sour Kreem. Now, to breakfast! (And a little Peeves magic…)**

Chapter Four: Fred

I pulled out my mirror. "Oi, George. You there?"

I saw George's face appear in the mirror. "Yep, and ready for action."

I smiled at him. We disconnected and pulled the invisibility cloaks (James and Sirius had loaned us theirs'. And the mirrors) over our heads. "Two seconds to breakfast being over…"

Time is here. I put a levitation charm on myself. I knew that George would be preparing in front of Snape's… I cackled maniacally and tossed a dungbomb into the crowd below. "Peevsie is here, ickle firsties!" I yelled greasily, and tossed a lit firework down too. "What would Peevsie do without ickle firsties to play with?" I cackled again. "Peevsie-"

"What is thing talking about?" A greasier voice said from behind me. I froze and turned. There, un-invisible, was the real Peeves. "Peevsie just showed up for his morning fun." Peeves said.

"What else?" I said hastily. "Hello brother!" I swear, Peeves almost fell out of the air. I cackled again and chucked another dungbomb into the crowd. Everyone was staring dumb- founded up at us. And my ruse might have worked. Except for damn Hermione.

"That's not a poltergeist!" she yelled from below. That's Fred!" I cursed loudly.

"Bloody Hermione! Always spoiling my fun!" (A/N: I am not a Brit. They are though.) I ripped off the cloak and chucked the last dozen dungbombs into the crowd. Then 16 fireworks. Ahh, what fun. I cursed Hermione again, and then fell out of the air since my levitation charm wore off.

Then I ran.

With a screaming crowd on my heels.

Well, we'll all be there to see George…

I took a quick turn and doubled back, just to confuse them. Then I made another quick turn to head strait to the dungeons. Time for George's show. I stopped with my finger on my lips and peeked around the corner. George was balanced precariously on top of Snape's doorframe.

Then Snape walked out. A cloud of smoke and a loud bang commenced. What fun.

**A/N: Like it? Wait for next chappie to see what George did!**


	5. Chapter 5

Tribe of Rushing Water

**Disclaimer: I am not JKR. Nor was I in chappie three.**

**A/N: Thx again to all my reviewers! Loopygirl33, the great Padfoot, hpjbkfan, and Sour Kreem. Sorry it's been a while- I can only do this when my parents aren't home. Now what you've all waiting for… What George did to Snape!**

Chapter Five: George

I saw Fred through the haze of smoke. I waited impatiently for Snape to reappear. This was going to be awesome!

A dark figure began to form. It looked blurry still, but I could see the beginning of it on his head. I leaped lightly off the door frame and sneaked into the crowd shouting, "What the bloody hell is going on?"

Then Snape appeared. And the sight was hilarious. Picture this: Snape; feathered and pink with a large green mohawk. I really do love tormenting him.

A large clamor of laughter and gasping and screaming followed his appearance. Plus Hermione yelling about assaulting a teacher and disrupting perfectly normal days. I bet she loved it.

Fred came towards me, smiling happily. "Hey George. Snape is amazing, we're good at this. My plan back-fired though, the real Peeves showed up and Hermione saw that it was me. Bloody Hermione." He scowled. "Oh, well, just means I'm going to get detention."

"Yeah," I said glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention to us. "Let's just hope no one paid to much attention to me. Our cover will be blown if they did."

McGonagall came down the hall. "What is all this ruckus? Weasley! Explain!"

"Well m'am, my brother caused a tad bit of trouble in the hall, then ran down here with the other students in tow. Somebody did something to Snape, he's feathered now, and then you turned up."

McGonagall looked at me as if she had slight doubts, then turned to look at Snape. She gasped. Snape had mutated even farther. Even I had not anticipated this. I think I just got in BIG trouble.

**A/N: Tune in next time to learn why George's in trouble. Cackles maniacally. Fun, fun, fun. **


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor