Harry Potter 1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

**~Disclaimer:**

**I don't own any of the Harry Potter franchise. They are all owned by J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Warner's Brothers, and David Heyman. Please be sure to favorite, follow, review, and enjoy this fanfic.**

**~Summary:**

**Have you ever wondered how Lily and James went from completely hostile to madly in love? It's not easy or even likely. He's the arrogant Marauder bad boy and she's the precisely perfect Prefect good girl. However loves changes people... for better or for worse.**

**~Important Details:**

**Okay, this fic is based in the 70's and I don't know whole lot about the 70's except that's the decade the Vietnam War ended, video games started out, very little about celebrities, and family sizes got smaller. I shall being doing some research... joy. ;~P I'm determined to have this fic be accurate and cool.**

**Also this will, I hope, be different and new for readers. :~) I know the bare minimum about Lily and James' romance and school years and so I am going to fill in the blanks. It shall interesting, funny, heart breaking, dramatic, and action oriented. Hooray!**

**Lily, James and their friends are going to go through lots of character development. It will take a lot to push them into love and together for Harry our main character to be made. :—) I shall not be detailing the conception... no this is a T-rated story.**

**Oh and I named Ariana after Ariana Grande because she has an amazing voice, she's adorable, I loved her role as Cat on Victorious, and her red hair is cool and she can pull it off. I just felt like I should throw that little detail in there. :~)**

******~Key:**

**Italics = thoughts, flashbacks, sarcasm, or emphasis on a word or phrase.**

**Bold = the meaning of a spell or something of that nature, to express page numbers and my author's notes.**

**Underline = to extremely emphasis a word or a phrase, to express titles of books or TV shows, and who's POV it's going to be.**

**~Story: Denial isn't Just a River in Egypt~**

**~Chapter One: Pilot~**

**~_3rd Person's POV_~**

"Why did you invite me here?" Lily asks a little stiffly.

She's not exactly happy. Severus has pulled her away from the last Quidditch game and he's been so distant lately. It's off putting and she's at least trying not to be the worst company possible. He's her childhood best friend and Lily can feel their friendship being strained... not to mention him getting darker and darker. What's a girl to do?

"I needed to talk to you and I didn't want to be overheard." Whispers Severus.

They're just right outside the Quidditch stands. It's the last game of the season: Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff. Sure, it's not a favored game... in fact no one really cares pretty much, but the students including Lily enjoys watching and spectating the game. Oh well, if Severus needs to speak to her she'll make time in doing so. They rarely hang, so they should savor these moments even if she's a little pissed at him.

"Your friends aren't here tonight are they, Sev?" Asks Lily sharply.

She has always been able to read him like a book. Though Severus shakes his head. It is not a complete lie. He honestly does not know if they are here or not. So technically he is not lying, he is just not telling the entire truth.

That's another problem with Severus Snape and Lily Evans' friendship. They have been friends for years, but he never tells her the complete truth. He only tells her enough so that she will not be held accountable for anything _and_ so that she will not get angry with him... most of the time; today is an exception. She picks up on this early on and the thought that he does not trust her saddens her immensely... more so than him becoming darker and darker into the magic.

After a short and rather awkward pause where Lily has her arms crossed, her small hip jutting out, and the typical tough girl expression on her face our heroine breaks the ice.

"So what do you need to talk to me about?" Asks Lily trying to rid the mood she's been worked into.

Severus shuffles uncomfortably. He has rehearsed what he is planning on saying, but it is different actually talking face-to-face with Lily. She has this effect on him that renders him speechless, especially if he looks into her deep, knowing, emerald oases. He swallows uncomfortably.

"Well…lately I've noticed…well, I'm just going to come out and say it. It seems like we're sort of drifting apart as friends."

Lily bites back a sarcastic remark and instead nods sadly. Der, this is a problem.

"I know." She replies. "It was easier when we were younger and naïve. The fact that we're in two different Houses that hate each other… and have friends who loathe the other's friends…."

"It makes it harder to stay close friends." Finishes Severus. "And truthfully, you're my only friend at home on Spinners End."

He does not mention that Lily is the only thing that keeps him sane at home. If he did not have her he would be on his own when his parents go at each other without the consideration of their only child. Not that he ever talks about that with her, or anyone for that matter because he can't put into words. He would never subject her to that sort of pain as well. He cares too deeply for her and wants to keep up the illusion that things are swell so she can remain happy, in that sense.

"You're my only friend too." Says Lily honestly. "All my other friends are now at secondary schools or have listened to Petunia calling me a freak and ran off."

She looks away from him and her hair covers her face, disabling him from seeing the expressive eyes that he loves so much.

Of course, Severus' insides burn with anger. He knows Lily's elder sister Petunia is a Muggle and he despises her for always calling Lily names such as 'freak'. It is obvious to everyone that she is just jealous but this does nothing to console Lily. As far as Severus is concerned, Lily should just drop her but how could he ever tell her that? She would slap him across the face and rightfully so. Blood is thicker than water.

"Anyway." Continues Severus. "You get the Daily Prophet, correct?"

"Yes." Lily has a feeling she knows where this is going but keeps silent.

"Well then I'm sure you have heard that the Dark Lord is–"

"Why won't you call him by his true name, Severus?" Asks Lily. "Why won't you call him _Voldemort_." Severus winces. "'Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself'." She quotes.

"Where'd you hear that?" Sneers Severus.

"Professor Dumbledore."

Her emerald orbs are ablaze with defiance and a bit of attitude expressing a bit of her earlier anger.

"Yes, well Dumbledore always did fancy himself not afraid of the Dark Lord."

"That's because he knows better than to be afraid of someone like Voldemort."

"And what exactly _is_ the Dark Lord?"

She's not amused and rightly so. In any perspective known to man Voldemort is the villain and doesn't deserve any sort of back pedal to make him seem like he's just a confused individual. No. He's the kind of bad that can't be redeemed. AKA he knows no love.

"A coward and a bully." Severus narrows his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that. Besides, I thought only his followers call him the_ Dark Lord_." He gulps. "So it's true. You and your friends have been coming out here to be recruited."

"No, no we haven't." Says Severus too quickly. "He doesn't accept those who are still in school."

"Hey Snape, what are you doing out–" Begins his friend Erebus Avery, he stops short and sneers. "What is _she_ doing out here?"

"_She_ happens to have a name and I could ask you the same question." Says Lily vehemently.

"How _dare_ you speak to me, you filthy little Mudblood." Spits Avery.

Lily glares at him.

"Don't call her that." Hisses Severus.

His voice is so low though that over the winds Avery can pretend to have not heard him. Oh, that hurts Lily a little at how her childhood bestie isn't proudly standing up for her. Oh well, she's her own hero... or heroine if you prefer.

"No, it's okay, Severus." Says Lily. "He can all me whatever he likes. He'd probably get in trouble with his Master if he _didn't_ insult me and my parentage."

Avery's eyes widen. Lily rarely sees fear in any of the Slytherin's eyes but there it is, as clear as day.

"What did you tell her?" Hisses Avery to Severus.

"Nothing! I didn't even know you guys were going to be here." He lowers his voice so Lily cannot hear them over the wind.

"The Dark Lord had a change of plans." Replies Avery shrugging. The next part Lily is able to hear. "Bellatrix tipped us off that He decided to come here to plot on how to infiltrate the—"

Whatever Voldemort is planning though, Lily does not find out, because at that moment the crowd erupts in insane cheering and roaring. Of course, in such a tense moment of interest it startles the absolute bullocks out of her. Lily can feel her fine red hairs at the back of her neck standing up as she swears she'll suffer from whip lash from her neck swinging around to the source of the sound.

When her heart rate calms down a bit she turns around and witnesses the boys are long gone and back into the stadium. Soon enough they're lost into the sea of people. Hope in finding them is slim.

"Severus..." Lily sighs as the wind whips her hair around her saddened face.

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

**~_Lily's POV_~**

I'm minding my own business and everything until someone leaps into my lap. Gah, has anyone heard of personal space? Also, this jerk just crushed my favorite book of all time: the Great Gatsby. He shall pay.

"Hello Evans, miss me?" He practically purrs in my ear.

I give a hard shove that knocks him to the floor. I then cross my leg over the other, straighten out my worn out copy of my novel, and continue to read as there's a continuous stream of giggles in the Common Room.

"Ever heard of personal space, Potter?" I say not amused one bit.

"Ever heard of a sense of humor?" Potter shoots back stand after brushing off the dirt on his rear end.

"Oh, I have a sense of humor just not 'Potter Humor'." I say flipping a page after I finish it.

I promise, I do have a sense of humor. I just don't find his rubbish funny. All he does is bully people— one of them happens to be my childhood friend— he pulls pranks that are more hurtful than hilarious, and he sexually harasses me. So no, I don't have any desire to cackle at Potter Humor.

"Potter Humor, huh? You wouldn't know if you like or dislike Potter Humor unless you try it." He says and suddenly his face is inches away from mine when he pulls my book down. "Wanna taste of it?"

"No thank you." I say with a biting tone trying to back up farther in the worn out sofa.

"Come on, go out with me, Evans." His voice is husky and low.

I already told this arse wipe no once already and I can feel the anger boiling in my gut painfully. What I do next I shall have no regrets doing. I dog ear my page, close the book, and then I whack him hard in the face with my book cover.

"AGH!" He cries out in pain as he falls down to the red and gold Gryffindor rug.

I begin to laugh hysterically with a genuine smile on my face. Seeing Potter crumble to the ground clasping the side of his face when I know I am the one to cause the pain brings me nothing but joy. Others join in on the fun and laughter.

"Now, that's what I call funny!" I say through gasps of laughter.

"Come on, Lily." Marlene says right by the portrait hole. "We're going to get some lunch."

I'm still cackling with tears dotting my eyes as I'm trying to catch my breath. My stomach is becoming painful and Potter looks at me like I'm the biggest bitch in the world. I don't care if I am and I hope he keeps thinking that as long as I can continue to laugh at how I smacked him hard on the face with my favorite book. The Great Gatsby just got even greater.

"Come on, Prongs." Remus says with an amused grin. "Walk it off and be a man."

"Easy for you to say." He grumbles walking back with his friends. "You haven't faced the wrath of one of her Super Book Bitch Slaps."

That's when I've steadied myself well enough to I expel a long sigh before I follow my friend. Oh god, that's just way too funny. I'm still slightly giggling and Marlene starts to join most likely because my sounds of enjoyment are funny.

"You know, you didn't have to slap him." She says.

"I know…, but it was _so_ funny."

I feel myself slightly run into Marlene and I have to catch myself so I won't crash to the ground. I follow her eye sight and my mouth drops slightly… ew.

My eyes lead to the grossest sight I think I've ever witnessed. The school's number one slut— Katerina Romanova— is aggressively snogging Black as if they didn't attempt to suck each other's faces off then they would die. However, it's much more likely if they died from lack of oxygen in that scenario.

"Marls…, are you okay?" I ask rubbing her shoulder trying to get her attention and be a little comforting seeing that she's clearly in shock and perhaps even upset.

I watch as Romanova's arms grip and stroke all over his back in a very possessive way. Then she opens her smoky deep set blue eyes and they're right on us which makes my red brows rise. Finally she flips us off and that's when Marlene's brows narrow from the corner of my eyes.

"Come on, Marlene, let's go." I say grasping her wrist and drag her away to the Great Hall.

The Great Hall is my original destination, but I can feel her form shaking to the point that I can feel it in her wrist. So, I change the course and head to Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom. No one goes in there, the Dormitory is too far away, and the Prefect's Bathroom is too far away as well ergo to the horrible bathroom.

I kick the door behind me shut.

"_Colloportus_." I say effectively locking the door to any prying people._  
_

When I turn around I can feel my heart give a horrible pang since Marls is on the fairly dirty floor crying her pale blue eyes out. I sit down next to her and start stroking her hair as she leans onto me for comfort. I can feel her petite body shaking horribly and tears form in my eyes because this sadness from her just brings me sadness.

Eventually once she's calmed down a good bit she begins to spill the beans. "I c-can't believe h-him. H-he chooses the biggest whore ever over m-me. I k-know I'm not… sp-special, but I'm n-not a t-two f-faced slut!"

"I know this hurts… bad. But, I'm going to tell you something my Mum told me once when I fell hard for this kid at the playground that literally caused me to fall to the ground… since he pushed me.

When it comes to dating, boys and girls are like apples on a tree. When guys like Black want some apples to keep for themselves they don't go for the highest most valuable and tastiest ones at the tipety top like you, me, Ariana, and Alice. No guys like that who are nasty turds go for the apples that have fallen to the ground, been infested with worms, and are only good for less than five seconds."

There's a short silence as Marlene sobs a little before she speaks. My heart gives for her because when she's sad I am too. It's a BFF thing.

"Your Mum's got some good advice…, but I can't help it. I love him and I can never compete with Long Legs Kathy." Marlene says.

I continue to pet her hair knowing that it's most likely true when it comes to Black anyway. It's sad because Black doesn't deserve her love and he probably never will. She's one of the nicest girls ever and always true to everything and everyone. Even though she makes the Cowardly Lion look like the Terminator when it comes to boys she's quite the brave soul with other things.

I've known she's been in love with that undeserving son of a bitch for quite some time. I remember one time last year during our Fourth Year Marls wrote Black a love letter sent it to him anonymously and the guy ended using it like toilet paper.

"Come on, Marls," I say grabbing her by the wrist again, pulling her up and bringing her to the cracked mirror. "Look at yourself. You are beautiful, you are confident, and you are fantastic and don't you dare ever let that turd faced dork head ever make you feel this bad again. And one day we'll both find guys that are willing to climb all the way up to the top of the tree and risk thorns and splinters to get something sweeter than those rotten apples on the ground and perhaps one day want more than just sex from us girls."

I did mean all of what I said. She really is pretty in her own right: she has wavy shoulder length blonde hair, pale blue eyes that sparkle with happiness, pale skin, she's petite like about 4"11 in height, a wide forehead, and she's just absolutely adorable.

"Heya Billboard Brow!" Moaning Myrtle shouts popping out of one of the toilets. "I bet when you fly on that broomstick of yours you catch all sorts of flys!"

Marlene wails, unlocks the door, and rushes out the door with that sadness and sorrow snapping right back to the way it was. Ugh, if I could without my fist going through her face I would punch her right in the nose.

"Dammit Myrtle, you insufferable ghoul!" I cry out in frustration. "You know her confidence and self-esteem blows! I _just_ had her confidence back to normal!"

* * *

**~•xXx•~**

* * *

Silence is nice and long drones from Professor Binns is equally as nice since I can just go into this listening and notes mode and not be bothered. However, my little mode of awesomeness and way to get an 'A' is poisoned by unfiltered urine filled backwash that I hate so much A.K.A. Potter.

"Pst, Evans." He hisses turning around with a smirk that I see from the tops of my eyes.

I ignore him and continue on with my notes. I will not let Potter get to me with his annoying antics like Black got to Marlene. Okay, albeit those scenarios are different because I would never let Potter get under my skin, but it will not dignify his annoying 'psts' with a response. He doesn't even deserve that.

"Pst, Evans."

Not getting to me.

"Pst, Evans."

Did his voice drop an octave and become husky? … Again?

"Pst, Evans."

This isn't annoying at all. Not at all.

"Pst, Evans."

"WHAT?!" I scream extremely loudly at the top of my lungs.

My face flushes horribly, my eyes are green little head lights, everyone is staring at me and laughing, and I have never felt so embarrassed in my life. Even Professor Binns looks up and I can feel my pulse quicken from it all.

"Miss Evans quiet down." He says monotonously before continuing with his lecture.

I go back to my note taking trying to forget that ever happened. I'm half way through describing the Troll Wars when a little parchment comes into my line of sight much to my dismay.

**_(Bold = James | Italics = Lily)_**

**Pst, Evans.**

The nerve of this little… one day I am going to have an aneurism because of this arrogant toe rag. If I ever, accept to willing stand him for more than one point two seconds somebody send me to the Hospital Wing.

_PISS OFF, POTTER!_

**Gonna make a scene again?**

Like I would, getting embarrassed once in class is more than enough… ever. He may _love_ the attention, but I don't and I wish he would see that.

_Do you want me to smack you with my text book? It's not going to be like getting hit with the Great Gatsby… this one is hard back and large with five hundred and fifty-two pages. ;~)_

**What's got your wand in a knot?**

Pft, as if, he should know. It's quite obvious or does he want me to spell it out? Ugh, his type makes me want to slap him… again.

_Your bestie, Black, is the worst dog I've ever came across._

There's snicker from Potter and I have no idea why. What's so funny? Never mind, I don't want to know 'cause knowing him and Black it's something nasty. I don't want to have another mind stain curtesy of Potter.

**You've just now realized that, Evans?**

_Well, it seems Marlene finally has since she saw him snogging Romanova._

Gross, I don't even like to write about it much less think about it. I could never be like that. I plan to wait until marriage because if a guy just wanted to sleep with me and ditch he would _not_ stick it out until marriage. That's my goal, so I don't get screwed over.

**Wow. You've gotta give Padfoot points for that 'cause she's _fine_! …N-not as fine as you are… hehe.**

Ew, what's wrong with him? Oh wait, stupid question EVERYTHING!

_I'm done here._

With that scrawled on his parchment I crumple it up and throw it across the classroom into the waste bin. Whoo, score for me! I'm free of writing back and forth with that dunder head. I can get back to my notes; I'll just get the parts that I missed from Marls, Ariana, or Meredith.

"My notes!" Potter cries out in pure dramatic bullocks.

"Ha ha." I smile with victory written on my face.

Double score! I make a basket and I throw away his notes after he calls my mortal enemy fine. Can life get any better than this? I mean, the only thing better is if Potter gets whacked in the back of the head like earlier today. That would be the best ever….

"Prongs!" Black says throwing the paper ball at the back of Potter's head after using the Floating Charm to get it back.

Okay, that's not the best hit to the back of the head, but it's better than nothing. Now, if only the world works that way where you wish for things, they come true, and all is right in the world. If that would be true then Marlene wouldn't be hurt by Black, I wouldn't be harassed by Potter, Potter moves on, and my mortal enemy Romanova would be vanquished. Sigh….

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

**~_3rd Person POV_~**

The week's O.W.L's testing are a breeze in both Lily and James' opinion. Lily, like Remus, has studied like crazy beginning all the way back of the end of their Third Year. James on the other hand, like Sirius, has not bothered studying at all and still passes with flying colors. This is one of the many things that Lily finds annoying about James. He doesn't seem to give a damn about his grades and he is still one of the top students of their year. Now, it comes down to their second to last test. The written portion of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Once again, it is the last day of the exams, _finally_, and everyone is starting to breath easily again. However, with the stress of their second to last 'make it or break it' test, the Great Hall is completely silent as they take their Defense Against the Dark Arts Test. Sunshine is streaming through the high windows onto the bent heads, which shines chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.

"Five more minutes!" Squeaks Professor Flitwick.

James yawns hugely and rumples up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance towards Professor Flitwick, he turns in his seat and grins at Sirius who is sitting four seats behind him.

James gives Sirius a thumbs-up and laughs as he is lounging in his chair at ease, tilting it back on two legs. James turns back to his seat and starts doodling on a spare bit of parchment. He draws a snitch and then traces the letters 'L.E.' in it and then sketches lines to make it seem like it's flying throughout the air. He can't get his mind off her no matter how much she infuriates him. She has him running in circles constantly questioning his actions and he wishes she could see that he is not the arrogant jackarse she thinks he so rightfully is.

"Quills down, please!" Squeaks Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _A__ccio!"_

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoom into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms and knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laugh. A couple of students at the front desk got up, take hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lift him back on to his feet.

"Thank you… thank you." Pants Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

James hastily crosses out the 'L.E.' he had been embellishing and stuffs his exam papers messily in his bag and stands waiting for Sirius. Out of the corner of his left eye he notices Severus a short way away and moving between the tables towards the doors to the Entrance Hall, still absorbed in his own exam paper. Round-shouldered yet angular, he walks in a sweeping manner that puts Batman to shame, and his oily hair is jumping about his face.

_What a git_, Thinks James with a smirk on his face. _It's a wonder how he ever gained Evans as a friend._

A gang of chattering girls separates Severus from James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter as they walk out. It's the last thing on his mind now.

"Did you like question ten Moony?" Asks Sirius as they emerge into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it." Says Remus briskly. "'Give five signs that identify a werewolf.'"

"Excellent question." The other two say in unison with a smile.

They're like two peas in a pod, two droplets of water dripping on the side of a glass, and two nuts in a boiled peanut.

"Do you think you two managed to get all the signs?" Says James in tones of mock concern.

"Think so." Says Remus seriously. "One: there's one in my chair. Two: there's one wearing my clothes. And three: his name is Remus Lupin…."

Peter is the only one who does not laugh. However, none of them notice this and continue in their merth.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail." He says anxiously. "But I couldn't think what else—"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" Says James impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month—"

"Keep your voice down." Implores Remus.

James and his three friends work their way over to the beech tree and sit down calmly underneath it. It's like they were never missed seeing as they fit so snuggly; it really does feel like home to all of them.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Says Sirius. "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding' on it at least."

"Me too," says James. He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a struggling Snitch.

"Where'd you get that?" Asks Sirius.

"Nicked it."

"Won't you get in trouble for that?" Asks Remus.

James shrugs and he starts playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes are excellent. Peter watches him in awe. The sunlight is dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who have just left the Great Hall are sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.

Remus pulls out a book and starts reading. Sirius stares around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored. James is still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbing it at the last second. Peter is watching him with his mouth open. Every time James makes a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasps and applauds. After certain periods of time James ruffles his hair again as if to make sure it does not get too neat and keeps looking over to where the girls are by the water's edge.

"Put it away, will you," says Sirius finally, as James makes a fine catch and Peter lets out a cheer. "Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement." Peter blushes and looks away from the pair.

"If it bothers you." He says whilst stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket.

"I'm bored," says Sirius, "wish it was full moon."

"You might." Said Remus darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're so bored you could test me. Here…" and he holds out his book.

But Sirius snorts. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"If you're so bored Paddy," says James excitedly, "Over there…" he points to a clump of bushes, "…is our favorite entertainment."

Sirius's head turns. He becomes very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. Animal instincts one would suppose.

"Excellent." He says softly. "_Snivellus._"

Severus is on his feet again, and is stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he leaves the shadows of the bushes and sets off across the grass, Sirius and James stand up. It's all a little game to them.

Remus remains sitting: staring down at his book, though his eyes are not moving and a faint frown line has appeared between his eyebrows.

"All right, Snivellus?" Asks James loudly obviously trying to draw in an audience.

Severus reacts so fast it's as though he has been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunges his hand inside his robes and his wand is halfway in the air when James shouts. "_Expelliarmus_!"

Severus' wand flies twelve feet into the air and falls with a little thud in the grass behind him. James smirks and Sirius let out a bark of laughter. Like it's already been repeated: they're two peas in a pod.

"_Impedimenta_!" He says, pointing his wand at Severus, who is knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around have turned to watch. Some of them have gotten to their feet and are edging nearer. Some look apprehensive, others entertained ergo it's all going according to James' plan.

Severus lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advance on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he goes. One little redhead is on his mind alone.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Says James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment." Says Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laugh; Severus is clearly unpopular. As it's scientifically proven looks do matter and the half-blood doesn't have any.

Sirius lets loose another laugh and James smirks again. Severus is trying to get up, but the jinx is still operating on him; he is struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You- wait." He pants, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You- wait!"

"Wait for what?" Says Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Severus lets out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away so nothing happens. Anyone with a shred of human decency would sympathize with him.

"Wash out your mouth." Says James coldly. "_Scourgify_!"

Pink soap bubbles stream from Severus' mouth at once; the froth is covering his lips, making him gag, and choking him. He could actually die from this….

"Leave him ALONE!"

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

"That last Exam was dreadful." Moans Lily's best friend of all time Marlene McKinnon. "I'm dreadful at D.A.D.A and I know I failed it."

"That's what you say every time you take the exam and then you end up doing better than me." Smirks Lily, taking off her shoes and socks so as to dip her feet in the water.

Lily always tries to get her confidence up because it's fragile like Cinderella's glass slippers… the worst fashion decision in fairytale history. Because imagine if the wearer is a heavy set woman then she's going to have a fun trip to the E.R with all those shards in her feet.

"Besides, we have Transfiguration next and that I _know_ I'm going to fail."

"Maybe you should get a tutor." Suggests Lily's other friend Alice Prewitt. She is a quiet girl who can be boisterous when just in the company of her friends, but gets shy and puts up barriers when people like the Marauders come around.

"Ha, the only person who knows Transfiguration better than Lily is—" begins Lily's friend Ariana Azalea who's rather wild, like if you set her into the center of some extremely sexy guys they will soon hang onto every word she utters and effectively become her bitches.

"—Potter." Lily scoffs. "And there's no way I'd ever ask him to tutor me. He would never let me hear the end of it."

"Come on Lily, cut the boy some slack." Says Alice. "Sure he's conceited and all, but he can also be a really good guy." Lily looks doubtful. "Plus, he's crazy about you."

Lily snorts. "Yeah, right. I don't care how 'nice' you claim he is, I'm not asking him for a favor. I don't need to be in his debt."

The young redhead doesn't want to know what sort of _payment_ James would come up with. Ooh, unpleasant shivers ran down her spine.

"Sometimes Lily you are so—" Begins Marlene. "Hey, what's going on up there?"

There are several flashes of lights coming from across the lake. The girls are curious as to what's going on as their heads tilt to the side in unison.

"Looks like a fight by the way everyone's forming a circle." Observes Ariana.

"No, really?" Teases Alice.

When Alice is not looking, Ariana cups some water in her hands and pours it on her head. The cold water is chilling and shocking to her average heightened body.

"HEY!"

"Hey! Lily, where are you going?" Asks Marlene inching away from her loud friends.

Lily's now struggling in putting on her shoes and her socks since her feet are soaking wet. The girl's determined though to have her way; redheads always seem to be stubborn.

"I'm a Prefect! I have to stop whomever is dueling." Says Lily. "No doubt it's Potter and Black terrorizing some Slytherin."

"Isn't it always?" Snorts Alice. "But anyway, I'm sure the Slytherin deserves it."

Of course, the Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry have been long standing since the dawn of time. It's almost like it's embedded in their genes.

"What is it with you all and House prejudices?" Cries Lily. "I swear you're getting as bad as Potter and Black."

"It's true though, Lily." Points out Ariana. "All Slytherin's are vile and cruel."

"Not Severus." Says Lily, tying her shoes. "He's nice…."

"…Only to you." Finishes Marlene.

Lily ignores her and begins marching up the hill. She's not going to listen to them, Severus has been nice to her since they were children, and their opinions won't change her mind.

"What are you planning on doing?" The girls cry up the hill.

"I'm planning to put a stop to this madness." Calls back Lily. "I'll see you lot later in the Common Room."

She walks up and sets her eyes upon the unfolding scene. It's not a duel. It's Potter and Black ganging up on Severus _again_. She swears one day she going to turn them into toads and then smash them with a hammer…. It's a little harsh, okay a lot harsh, but her temper is like acid.

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius look around. James' free hand immediately jumps to his hair trying to make it even messier to try and impress subconsciously.

"Oi Evans, what's up?" Asks James.

"Leave him alone." Lily repeats whilst ignoring James' comment all together.

"Yeah we heard you first time Evans." Says Sirius coolly.

James glares at him for obvious reasons.

"What's he ever done to you?" Lily questions.

"It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…." James finally adds after a long silence.

Many of the surrounding students laugh, Sirius and Peter included. Remus, however, does not and continues staring intently at his book. Lily will not let that go; she's had it with him.

"You think you're funny." She says coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"OI!" Shouts Sirius.

But it is too late. Severus has directed his wand straight at James; there is a flash of light and a gash appears on the side of his face. The Slytherin doesn't play around.

James' face spatters his robes with blood. He whirls about: a second flash of light later, Severus is hanging upside-down in the air and his robe falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the now very large crowd cheer. Sirius and James roar with laughter much to Severus' chargrin.

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, says. "Let him down!"

"Only if you go out with me." James challenges.

Lily stood with her hands on her hips. "I would rather date the Giant Squid. Let him down," she orders again.

She cannot believe he has the _audacity_ to ask her out after everything's he has done to her and her best friend. James Potter is without a doubt the most conceited and insufferable _boy _on the planet.

James sighs. With a flick of his wand at Severus, he falls to the ground. "Petrificus Totalus!" and Severus keels over again, at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouts.

She has her own wand out now. James and Sirius eye it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," says James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighs again, deeply, then turns to Severus and mutters the counter curse much to his dismay.

"There you go," he says as Severus struggles to his feet again. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily's heart splits in two. He had been her friend! She had helped him and he responds by calling her a Mudblood? Well, if that is the way things have to be then she will just need to accept it.

Lily blinks. "Fine," she says coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

Every fiber of Severus' being is on fire with embarassment, heartbreak, guilt and regret. He can tell in those pretty green orbs that Lily has had enough.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roars at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want _you _to make him apologize." Lily shouts, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is…."

"What?" Yelps James. "I'd NEVER call you a— you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just gotten off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you because you can— I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!" She turns on her heel and hurries away, too upset to remember to dock points from both Houses.

"Evans!" James shouts after her. "Oi, EVANS!"

But she doesn't look back. She, like stated before, has had enough and she's not going to deal with James or Severus any longer.

"What's with her?" Says James as if trying to make it look as though it is a throwaway question of no real importance.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited mate." Says Sirius.

"Right." Says James, now looking furious, "Right—" There is another flash of light, and Severus is once again hanging upside down in the air. "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's underpants?"

The whole crowd jeers except for Remus— he's left the area— as the underpants come off and reveal to everyone's eyes the contents of what's hidden in those greying undergarments. To say the crowd is disgusted yet highly amused is an understatement.

* * *

**~•xXx•~**

* * *

Lily's crying, no, balling her eyes out. How could her childhood friend do this to her? She always— even if they've been drifting apart and he's becoming wrapped up in the Dark Arts— figured he'd be on her side even when pressured. I guess she was wrong, but she won't let that mistake ever happen again. She can't. She can't take feeling this horrible and this hot burning ache of betrayal in her heart is the worst feeling imaginable.

"Oi." She hears a manly voice not that far away from her. "Are you alright?"

Her heart practically stops. Uh-oh, he's going to catch her crying her eyes out like nobody's business. That's gasoline for someone to fuel some pretty horrible rumors and gossip. She doesn't need her mortal enemy Romanova spreading more lies about her and making her life just a little more complicated and difficult. So, Lily does the only things she can do in the situation: turn away, cover her face up even more and at least _try_ and stop the insane tear flow and sobbing.

The Fifth Year sits down right beside her. She's still sobbing and the guy figures it's alright to put his arms around her tiny form. She's shaking horribly and somehow unconsciously leans into him. It's a bit too forward for anyone's typical liking and down right border line on personal space issues, but it's the right call because it comforts her and consoles her.

"I saw what happened… are you going to be okay?" He asks again.

"F-f-f-f-fine." Says in between a few sobs.

There's a short silence that passes through them. Lily's rather fragile in this instance and her body just won't stop shaking as he strokes her back with his large and warm hand. It's very comforting and relaxing for her. It's obvious he cares a great deal about her otherwise he wouldn't be here at the moment comforting her from James' stupidity and Severus' is even greater stupidity. He just wished he had the confidence to stand up to the bullying jerks, but alas he could not for reasons that are hard and a little complicated to explain.

"We can talk all about it when we go to Hogsmeade together." He says with a sweet smile. "I'll meet you there."

He then strokes her red hair one last time seeing as it comforts her greatly before he leaves. She watches his enticing backside still unsure of who that is, but she certainly doesn't mind the view. Lily's in absolute shock. He so sweetly asked her out, walked away like a bad ass, and left her in surprise. She's never gone on a date before... James wouldn't allow it after all.

"What… what just happened?" She says unable to comprehend.

******~Author's Note: So, what do you think? Does this fic interest anybody? Is it promising? Any thoughts, comments, or concerns? Any expectations or desires? Should I continue?**


	2. Unorthodox Humor and Broken Bonds

**Author's Note:**

**~Important Details:**

**Yeah! People are interested. That makes me super happy because I know this is a popular pairing and I myself used to be absolutely obsessed. When I was twelve and I was first reading the Harry Potter series and I got to the Half Blood Prince and to the lake scene with James and Lily is when I truly fell for this pairing. I didn't know why at the time, but I do now though since I've calmed down quite a bit. It was because at the time I was completely obsessed with boys... it was like BOYS BOYS BOYS! And since I was twelve years old and boys weren't really that interested in girls as intensely as I was yet I felt like I was being screwed over and that's how romance worked. I thought how it worked was a girl is supposed to so intensely love a guy and dote on him and then if he feels like it he'll give you some attention and ask you out. Either that or he would just ignore you and friend zone you so hard you're left scared for life and heart broken. Then during that time in my skewed perspective of love this pairing shows up in my all time favorite book series. And I was like DAMN! I want a guy who's the stereotypical jock that's good looking and super popular to love me and be obsessed with me and I want to tell him to take a hike and him to be so dedicated that he would keep trying to ask me out and go out with me. Then I began reading that scene many many times alone in my room whilst giggling and loving that scene and pairing.**

**Yeah, I was a messed up pre-teen when it came to boy, but alas I have calmed down now.**

**Oh, just so you know, I have been inspired by Jenna Marbles in creating Ariana's character in many aspects, but not all of them. Just so you know and aren't saying things like you're unoriginal and blah blah. When it comes to funny things, a lot of times I am unoriginal. Sorry. I love you, Jenna Marbles! :~)**

**~Thanking Reviewers:**

**XD: I like a possessive James too. It shows how much he cares for her opposed to any other girl he takes in the broom closet. It's going to be annoying for Lily and more hatred is going to coming from this girl. Oh well, love's a funny thing; it'll eventually work itself out. :~)**

**~Chapter Two: Unorthodox Humor and Broken Bonds~**

"So you're telling me that on the last Hogsmeade trip of the year you're going with some guy you don't even know instead of us?" Growls Marlene.

"Erm, what are the chances that if I say no you won't kill me?"

"Not great."

"Then what have I got to lose? Yes, I'm going with a mystery dude that's rather sweet..."

Margaret and Marlene cross their arms. They're not happy if you couldn't tell.

"That's not fair." Argues Ariana with her signature pout.

"Life's not fair."

Ariana glares at her.

"Alice is going with Frank and Jenny is going with other friends. You're just abandoning us?"

"You make it sound like I'm flying to America or something," Cries Lily. "I'll meet you guys at noon, alright? Plus, you guys have each other."

Marlene and Ariana nod grudgingly and Lily bids them goodbye before running off to Hogsmeade. Her heart is fluttering and ramming hard in her tiny chest. Who can blame her? It's her first date.

It is a warm June day and as Lily runs to meet the mystery boy, her hair flies in the breeze behind her, and reflecting the golden sunlight. She ignores the stares she is getting from some of the guys in her year and older and keeps running. It is only when she collides with something hard does she stop. An arm instinctually wraps around her tiny waist to keep her from plummeting to the hard ground.

"Watch where you're– oh, hey Evans." Says James, ruffling his hair absentmindedly with his free hand.

She glares up at him and she realizes what he was about to say before he saw that it's her. There is no need to give her 'preferential' treatment. She also notices that he's not retracting his muscly limb currently making her waist feel like it's nonexistent. Most girls like it when a guy makes them feel small, but Lily doesn't want to feel that way with James.

"Hello to you too, Potter." Says Lily coolly. "Now, drop the King Kong act and let me the heller go."

People are beginning to stare and the redhead's long nails are digging into his skin, so he gives her one last squeeze and smirk before he relents and releases her. She takes a much needed step backwards, so she can get some of her personal space back. James, of course, adores to invade her personal bubble and Lily loves to strike him down like Zeus high on top of his cloud when James does.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, I was conceived approximately ten thousand eight hundred and eleventy seven days ago." Begins James. "So, I guess you could say I'm here because my parents had–"

"Okay, knock it off Potter, I don't have time for your 'Potter Humor'." Says Lily, her eyes flashing dangerously. "And next time someone asks why you're here, you don't need to tell them your whole life story. 'Cause I'm sure they don't want the details."

"True, but you cut me off when I was going to add that God put me here seeing as I'm his gift to women." Says James, flashing a smile.

Passerby girls faint, but Lily just rolls her eyes.

"More like the Plague, but think what you want." Retorts Lily. "Now I really have to go meet a certain someone... I have a date."

"Who's this date of yours?" Asks James sharply.

"None of your business. Oh, and if it counts for anything, you put the STD in stud." She smirks at his expression of horror.

She begins jogging again so she can meet her mystery man in Hogsmeade, only stopping to speak to one boy named Michael who is in his third year. She tries to hurry the conversation up as quickly as she can but he keeps on talking. She gets the idea that he almost _idolizes_ her; she's sweetheart to him anyways though. He is a tad socially awkward too, so the conversation ends sooner rather than later.

James, of course, watches her the entire time letting his dark eyes travel all up and down her small and pretty body... he's got it bad the tent currently forming in his pants is proof enough.

"Hey, um, whoever you are sorry I'm late." Pants Lily. "I ran into a third year and a jerk/borderline stalker."

"Which one?" Jokes Remus referring to the latter as he faces her.

"I heard that Moony." Says Sirius' muffled voice from a few feet over.

He is snogging Katerina much like before. He looks a little busy. Lily would have sneered and cringed at the vulgar public displays of affections if she isn't shell shock. Remus asked her out! Ooh, the drama and hilarity of the situation hits her next. She figures this must be a joke and a friend thing. Remus' brow rises from her reactions: first the shock and then the insane laughter.

"Lily, are you alright?"

She catches her breath and ceases when he opens the door for her to the Three Broomsticks.

"Is this a joke?" Lily asks.

"No. Come on, Butterbeers are on me." He says with seriousness on his face but there's a sweet smile on his face.

They spend the rest of the time discussing schoolwork, friends, and her telling him about how sorry she is for laughing in his face thinking he wasn't sincere. It is fun to spend time with Remus. He always respects you and gives you his undivided attention and the redhead is no different even when there's romantic intentions. Lily feels they'll only be capable of remaining friends, but surprising things happen every day. Their activities have been pretty platonic so far.

"It's alright, Lily. I'd probably react the same way if I were you. James is probably going to have an aneurysm." He says grinning. Lily grins and takes a swig of butterbeer. "Speaking of the devil, Lily, why do you hate James so much?"

Lily starts laughing hysterically for the second time today. She laughs for a good ten minutes while a patient Remus smiles and waits for her to finish.

Once she's done and sees him still waiting she says. "Wait, you were serious?"

"No, I'm Sirius." Says Sirius loudly.

The whole restaurant boos, most of them having heard this joke too many times to count. It got old the second it came out of his mouth the first time.

"Anyway… I don't _hate_ Potter." Says Lily uncomfortably. "He just really annoys me for a number of reasons that I don't care to list."

Remus nods. "He is a bit irritating at times. Especially when he doesn't listen to you when you're trying to tell him something. But, you must understand that underneath that top layer of arrogance and boyish attitude he's a pretty well rounded guy."

"Eh, with that last part I have to disagree with you. I have lost track on how many times I have told him to stop hexing Severus. That, and he always asks me out making me even angrier. He just brings out the worst in me."

She doesn't like talking about James because it always puts her in a sour mood. Also, isn't this supposed to be a date? Why is she talking to her date about a guy who repeatedly tries to ask her out?

Either way, Remus can tell she's in a mood, so he places a strong and scarred hand on her forearm and begins to stroke lightly with his thumb. It's sweet and it can't be helped that she smiles sweetly. The werewolf is a sweetie pie and any girl would be so lucky to be with him of course.

"Come on Evans, I know you secretly _love_ being asked out by the handsomest guy around." A husky voice says from behind her. "Who else would bother to pay that much attention to you? And there's more to you than just _that_ part?"

She whips around and looks up, glaring at a cocky James Potter.

"Sod off Potter." She growls. "As a matter of fact, yes, there is another side to me and you know as well as I do that the only reason no other guy will ask me out is because they are afraid of you."

"And rightfully so. If I can't have you, nobody can."

Lily's eyes flash dangerously and Remus gulps for being caught and the storm that's soon to strike down on all the mortals. The restaurant and bar gets suddenly silent, interested in watching the back-and-forth between Lily and James.

"Is that so?"

"Of course. Even if someone _did_ want to go out with you though, they would have to realize that they won't be able to do anything with you seeing as you have a big metal pole there."

The whole bar 'oohs', particularly the men and their dates smack them. Lily narrows her eyes and it's like hell itself resides there and instead of them being windows to her soul it's the giant gates to hell. She is woman, hear her roar.

"Why don't you go bother somebody else Potter? Is it really that hard to see that not everyone melts at your feet?" Several people wolf-whistle and clap. "Come on Remus, let's go somewhere with that better view so we can continue our _date_."

"Yeah, she's right Moony, you'd better leave now." Retorts James. "Didn't you read the sign? No _dogs_ allowed."

The whole place gasps as does Remus. James has crossed the line now. In fact, he might as well have dug his own hole and jumped into it. It doesn't go unnoticed by their other Marauder member, Sirius. Of course, he's got to make some sort of quip.

"Oi James, what's wrong mate? Bros before hoes."

In a flash, Lily is up and her wand is pointing threateningly at him, as is his at her. They effectively ignore Sirius.

"You wouldn't _dare._" Sneers Lily. "Plus, I'm doing you a favor by damaging you."

"Oh, yeah? How's that?" Asked James.

"If you fall down and get hurt one day you can blame it on your inability to see past your nose."

He looks at her like she's gone mad as she waves her wand and silently casts a curse on him. To everyone's horror, James' head begins swelling up to the size of a Muggle hot air balloon. Lily is right in that he will not be able to see the ground due to his now abnormally large nose. Most are in horror, but _dear sweet_ Lily Evans just laughs contently.

"I've always said your head is full of hot air." Says Lily laughing derisively. "And now it fits your ego too!"

She grabs a shocked Remus and leads him out of the bar to meet her friend's at Zonko's Joke Shop. Potter has Black to depend on now if he wants his head back to normal. She's counting all of the ways that can go wrong.

The two on their date relocate with Lily's friends outside of Zonko's Joke Shop. Remus is regaling in the tale that happened just a few moments ago...

"So you seriously inflated his head?" Asks Alice, her mouth agape. Lily nods. "Well, this time he deserved it. He had no right calling you a dog. That spot's reserved for Sirius."

Remus snorts loudly. It's an inside joke.

"What's so funny?" Demands Ariana.

She looks at Remus and blushes when he grins at her. Also, during her little flushing she blinks at him with her insanely long and pretty eyelashes that looks even thicker than normal for the fact that she's mastered the 'smoky eye' make-up technique. The brunette has always been flirty.

"Oh, nothing." Says Remus nonchalantly.

"Okay…." Hesitates Lily. "Do you lot want to head back?"

"Sure." they all say.

"I have to still finish packing my bag anyway." Says Marlene casually.

Remus laughs again.

"The guys and I haven't even started packing yet."

Ariana looks at him incredulously. "It's the night before we leave and you haven't _started _packing yet?" Remus shakes his head. "Man, I used to do that. But, seriously that's like a death sentence?"

Remus chuckles. "Perhaps. We made an agreement that every year we pack the morning of departure and anything that gets left behind belongs to whomever reaches it first the following year."

"That is a death sentence. I would absolutely die if someone took my hairdryer." Agrees Lily, and they all laugh.

"You'll never believe what Peter left behind one year though." Laughs Remus.

That's peaked some interest. The girls want to know and a lot of images are popping into their minds at what Peter might have left behind. They _must_ know. It's like a disease.

"What?" Asks the girls curiously.

"He left behind a pair of underpants." Snorts Remus.

"And why are you telling us this?" Asks Marlene, crinkling her nose.

Nope. She and the other girls do _not_ want to hear about the mousy boy's under garments. They don't want to know if he's briefs or boxers or what color. Nope, nada. Not at all.

"Because Sirius noticed it on the first day back and thought at first glance, since it was under his bed, it was a chocolate ice cream stain."

They assume where this is going next. It thrills them since this story seems like it's going to be laugh worthy.

"Oh my god!" Cries the girls, attracting many strange looks.

"Don't tell me he–" Begins Lily.

Remus nods. "He licked it. Mind you, these underpants were brown, and when Peter had brought them at the beginning of the previous year, they were white–"

"EW!" shrieks the girls.

"Nasty, nothing says fuck me like doo-doo butter in his _paaants~_." Ariana says playfully.

Remus gasps at her extremities and the girls just laugh at Ariana's usual foul mouth and rather raunchy humor. Eventually Remus joins in by chuckling dryly. It's funny, so why not laugh instead of being all stuck up and unhappy.

"Yeah… Sirius has been deathly afraid of chocolate ice cream ever since. He now runs away screaming in a high-pitched girly voice." Remus sighs and absently wipes a tear at the corner of his eye away.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Asks Peter walking up to them.

The five take one look at him and crack up laughing, promising to themselves as they make their way back to Hogwarts to threaten Sirius with some chocolate ice cream that night. Who wouldn't with that information at hand?

* * *

~**•xXx****•~**

* * *

The girls are still consoling and giving Remus all of their attention at the Great Hall. They're laughing and carrying on like old friends even if Remus is the new addition for the time being. It doesn't matter if you're all having fun and a good time then it really doesn't matter if you're not that close to the person. Plus, the little werewolf is enjoying female attention on him. James and Sirius usually eat up all of it and leave none for him. Normally that's fine. No problem. But, indulging and being in the limelight even for a short amount of time and on rare occasions is nice.

"You know, that really was a bitchy move Potter pulled." Marlene says twirling her fork in her spaghetti. "I don't know how you two can stand being around him sometimes. Remus you're with him twenty-four/seven and Lily you're always hit on by him. Ugh, I would get tired of it after awhile."

"Well." Alice, the best friend of Ariana, says sarcastically. "Just take some advice from Ari here. You know she's got some techniques that may work wonders for you Lily."

Remus' brows rise and Lily just sighs and thinks, 'oh dear lord'. She and the other girls know how Ariana is and Remus himself has gotten a taste of it earlier today. He hasn't learned to brace himself quite yet, but he may learn to one of these days. The other girls groan and roll their eyes playfully when Ariana claps her hands together excitedly and looks super perky.

Of course Remus asks. "Like what?"

"Well, seeing as 'no' isn't really working for her she's going to have to try something different." She teases with a wink and continues in her light hearted tone of voice. "'Cause girls we all know the conventional method in trying to lose a guy do not work." She then says a mocking tone in a valley girl voice. "I'm a lesbian. I have herpes. I'm pregnant. I'm married. I have a boyfriend. I have twenty-five kids. Let's get married. I want to have your babies." Then she goes back to her semi serious tone. "'Cause if a guy really just wants to sleep with you he really doesn't give a fuck about any of that. The only thing that's going to get rid of a guy is if you scare the absolute fucking crap out of him. Guys don't like loose cannons.

I'm going to give you some ideas, but it could be you're just going to be a really rude person to him, Lily. I'll be straight up honest. Because when I've only used these methods like two times in my entire life. I don't know how many arseholes you have to deal with. I mean I understand there are times when you feel like someone's going to cute your skin off and wear it to their birthday party, so save this for then." She says and then begins in a semi-sweet and cute tone but it's obvious she's being playful. "Step one: introvert for like two seconds. Reflect in on yourself and think, 'am I an arsehole? Why is it I'm shooting this person down? Maybe they're a nice person'." Then her tone turns back to normal. "Maybe he just tried to finger blast you on the dance floor. Maybe he rubbed his ball sack on your stomach. Maybe he tried to pants you when he was trying to dance with you. Inappropriate pants off dance off. If you can clear that step that this person absolutely _sucks_ then you can move onto my methods."

"Oh come on." Lily says unimpressed as Remus and few others who've over heard her are a little shocked and kind of laughing. "Could you get on with how I can ditch Potter... permanently?"

Unknown to their little group Sirius, James, and Peter just sat down and are listening rather intently at what one of their best mates is talking about with a bunch of girls. James is rather uninterested since he's still pissed with Remus.

"I'm getting there. Be cool. Be cool." Ariana puts up her hands and smiles playfully. "Step two is pick one of the following methods and commit to it like a mother fucker. You might wanna practice at home. Figure out which ones you're good and which ones are your forte, which one's your strong suit and then whip that one out for the kill.

Method One: spontaneously turn into an animal. Such as a dog." She says and flipping her head all around as she begins to bark. Many people laugh as she does it. "ARF ARF ARF! Also known as the DMX." She says getting up close and growling pretty accurately with her teeth pulled back and people start to laugh even harder. "GRRR! Or a dolphin." She then has her arms at her sides and begins to flap them as makes dolphin noises. "AHH AHH AHH! Or a turkey ." Ariana says and then with her mouth in the shape of an 'o' she does turkey noises whilst moving her head all around in a circular fashion. "BOOO LUUU LUUU!" Even James is laughing now. "Or a velociraptor." She's jutting her neck back and forth as she's clawing the air. There's no noise for this particular animal. "I personally like the velociraptor because you can gently bite or claw them which usually scares away guys."

Everyone who's able to hear her is dying with laughter. They can't breathe and Ariana is far from being finished. Unknown to the fairly tall brunette Sirius has actually slipped on the bench right beside her.

"Ari, I can't breath, stop!" Lily in between gasps for breath.

The girl can't, so she continues. " Oh, I'm not finished yet. Method Three: spontaneously become Helen Keller." She begins making noises with her eyes closed, her hands touching random objects before she continues. "No Helen Keller-ing for like five seconds though. You have to Helen Keller for the rest of the nigh or until that person believes you have gone deaf and blind.

Method Four: spontaneously burst into a never ending song. I personally enjoy the actual never ending song, but with different lyrics to fit the situation. It makes the person feel really uncomfortable." She then begins to sing monotonously as everyone's laughing to the point that they're crying and it's starting arouse some of the professors that somethings is going on over at the Gryffindor table. "_This is the conversation that never ends~. Yes, it goes on and on~. What the fuck? You started talking to me and now you won't fucking stop 'cause I don't want to talk to you~._" She then goes back to her normal tone. "Sing that over everything they say until they leave.

Method Five, um, this one is only for super duper emergencies and I'm also not going to demonstrate it for you. It's the pee and or shit your own pants. Nothing says leave me alone like doo-doo butter _in my pants~._" Ariana says in her funny sing song voice before it goes back to normal. "If a guy, say James, _still_ wants to talk you any all or a combination of these methods you should probably hang out with him because he's either really fucking cool and has sense of humor or knows me and has heard me speak. Now, you have something in common... BING BANG BOOM everyone's getting pregnant!" She then begins to sing the next line more to herself. "_Ariana Azalea is getting people pregnant~_." Then her tone is normal again. "Oh, and invite me to your wedding after you clean up the piss and shit on yourself." Then she whispers narrowing her eyes playfully. "Oh and you're welcome."

Everyone who's heard is trying to calm down and regain some sort of control back from their insane laughter from this girl that's one of the most unique people in the world. Then Ariana jumps practically a foot off of her seat when a bony and wrinkly hand clamps her shoulder. The Gryffindors are still laughing and some are down to at least to the giggle stage as her tan face comes into contact with Professor McGonagall.

Lily thinks, _Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap._

"Miss Azalea, what exactly are you doing to cause such a commotion?" She questions a bit harshly.

"Being funny." She says a little meekly since she doesn't like getting in trouble and doesn't understand what she's done to get the strict professor's attention.

"Are you being cheeky?"

The woman is not amused and all of the Gryffindors gulp. However, one individual is to come to her rescue and it's not a predictable person either. Though Ariana doesn't think she's particularly in need of rescuing though.

"No, ma'am." She answers truthfully and then sighs as she says the next line. "I'm just having a little fun."

"Miss Azalea–" She begins.

"It was me, Minnie. I was causing the uproar. I just can't help myself. Plus, I get to rescue a fair lady from punishment." He teases strapping an arm around her shoulders.

Ariana just raises thin and brown eyebrow at him and crosses her arms showing that she's not amused, but she's not going to yell or reject his advance since he's doing something nice for her. Lily, Alice and Marlene, however exchange looks between each other. Remus sighs in annoyance at his friend's usual antics, James shrugs, and Peter just tries to go unnoticed. Professor McGonagall on the other hand is a bit livid by his chosen nickname for her that both James and Sirius share for her.

"Black–" She begins angrily.

"I know, I know, Minnie. Week's worth of detention when we get back next year." He says giving Ariana a playful squeeze who's arms have dropped giving signal that she's just done right now.

She gives Marlene an apologetic look who's crossing her arms and is so pissed off that she's thinking of many ways of beheading Sirius for his shameless and hopefully platonic flirting. Romanova will not be happy.

"No, Mr. Black." The professor smirks. "You'll be serving detention tonight scrubbing the entire Trophy Room _and_ the halls Peeves splashed with purple paint. _Without_ magic."

A few people, mostly Sytherins begin to laugh at Sirius' punishment. Speaking of the Animagus his mouth is agape and looking like somebody told them they're canceling Playboy magazine. The poor boy doesn't know something that simple could become such an insane punishment. Professor McGonagall then leaves with her robes brushing the floor behind her.

After a short silence Lily is the one to break it.

"Oh, Black, before I forget–"

She picks up some chocolate ice cream.

"-would you like some chocolate ice cream?"

Sirius jumps up. "AAAAARGGGH! HELP MEEEE!" He screams in a high-pitched girly voice.

He runs all the way up to the Head table and jumps into Dumbledore's lap. Everyone begins to laugh and Sirius is unaware of he's done. He'll understand in a few moments...

"Why, hello Mr. Black." Says Professor Dumbledore serenely, looking down at him in surprise. "Although I do consider us friends, I think our relationship to be more platonic. Am I right?"

The whole hall laughs even louder, especially Lily and her friends and James and his friends.

"I couldn't agree more, sir." Says Sirius grinning. "Although, you do have a rather comfy lap."

Even Professor McGonagall is having a difficult time keeping a straight face.

"Wonder if Professor McGonagall's jealous?" Whispers James to Lily.

"Stranger things have happened." It sure is going to be a quiet summer compared to this.

* * *

**~•xXx•~**

* * *

Lily and her friends can be found in their dormitory after dinner finishing packing up. Well, the lovable redhead is not packing. She has only left the clothes she is wearing tomorrow, her flannel 'yummy sushi' pajamas; which she's wearing now, and her toiletries out. However, all of her friends, including their other roommate Jenny, are still packing most of their stuff that they have procrastinated in doing until the last minute.

"How do you guys stand this every year?" Asks Lily, skimming through a Muggle magazine.

She is filling out one of those silly questionnaire's that answers what type of guy you will end up with. Petunia had given it to her four years ago, still in denial that she could be normal, and she has just decided to finally peruse through it. It's a past time of hers.

"It's easy." Says Ariana. "We procrastinate until the last minute and disregard all of your warnings. It's gotten easier as the years have progressed."

The other three girls snicker as the pretty and flirtateous blonde sticks her tongue out with a delicate pointer finger against her lower cheek and Lily just rolls her eyes. She calculates her score and finds out what type of guy she will end up with.

"Apparently I'm going to end up with someone muscular, athletic, and clever." Says Lily reading aloud her results. "I wonder who that'll be?"

"Lily, for someone so smart you're so thick." Cries Alice laughing.

The other girls are cracking up too.

"Doesn't that just cancel itself out?" Asks Lily.

"Possibly." Says all four girls in unison and begin to laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Asks Lily irritably.

"Oh, Lily isn't it obvious? You're going to end up with James!" Cries Marlene.

Lily gives her a look. It expresses her annoyance of this topic at hand.

"We've been through this a million and one times guys! I am not and never will be interested in Potter!"

"But _why_? He's so attractive!" Cries Jenny lifting her head up from her trunk.

She is an incredibly overweight girl who's not shy in the slightest when it comes to either crumping or twerking her heart out. The girl also has pretty carmel colored skin, milky brown eyes, and she dyed a purple streak in her dark jet black hair. Her and Lily's group have always gotten on well, which is good considering they have to live in the same room, however Jenny can be a bit much for them at times.

"Not really." Says Lily honestly. "But whenever someone does something I don't like they become ugly in my mind. And if you think he's so attractive why don't you go out with him?"

Jenny shrugs like she's considered going to third base with him right in the Common Room in front of everyone.

"Eh, it's not like I haven't though about it. But, I got my eyes on somebody else." She wriggles her thin and perfectly plucked eyebrows, and the girls' eyes light up.

"Ohh! Who? Who?" Asks Alice excitedly.

Jenny turns a deep maroon now at being called out on it and Lily's interest peaks. It must be someone interesting if Dorcas is this embarrassed. Or perhaps she is afraid that one of them already liked this person. The latter is more likely.

"Remus Lupin." She finally gets out.

Marlene and Lily's eyes light up immediately, but Alice bites her lip and looks over at Ariana.

Ariana had told Alice at the beginning of the year that she has had strong feelings for Remus since the beginning of their third year. You see, Ariana may be able to coin every guy within a ten mile radius and effectively make them her bitches. However, the good quality guys that are smart and doesn't like to play games, like Remus, are a complete mystery and enigma as to how to get them as a permanent boyfriend.

Right now while Marlene and Jenny are discussing how cute Remus is as well as his sweetness, Ariana seems to have detached herself and is trying her usual cool indifference. Alice catches her eye though and gives her a reassuring smile. It is only a matter of time before Remus sees Ariana as more than a friend, hopefully. They have gotten on fairly good terms this year and Alice is almost _positive _that he would choose her over Jenny. Not to say that Jenny is not neato character and nice in her own right too, but there is just something about Ariana that is unique and special. She's one of a kind.

All of a sudden there is a frantic knock on the door followed by some more banging.

"Come in!" Lily shouts over the noise.

The three excited girls fall silent. The door opens and in the doorway stands a frantic Mary MacDonald. She has just recovered from what had happened the other day with the Slytherins.

"Lily, you've got to come! He's saying he'll sleep outside the Fat Lady if he has–" Begins Mary clearly flustered.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down Mary." Says Lily. "Who's saying they'll sleep outside the Fat Lady?"

Mary takes a deep breath. "Severus Snape."

Lily's roommates gasp, but Lily expects something like this. She just closes her eyes patiently and tries not to let the sting in her heart become visible to the other girls. It's a sore spot she doesn't think will ever fade.

"Lead me to him, please."

She closes the door behind her and Mary and walks down to the Common Room to find it crowded. Apparently other people have passed Severus on there way in and are panicking. She can't blame them.

"Lily! He's say's he going to–"

"–Sleep out there!"

"Are you going to–"

"-Stop him from doing it?"

"Calm down, everyone!" Orders Lily, and the Common Room falls silent. "All of you, go up to your dormitories and I will take care of my own business. Thank you."

Everyone runs upstairs to avoid the approaching scene for fear of another blow out like the other day. Lily opens the door and sees Severus out there. The redhead is not amused.

"What are you doing out here?" Asks Lily coolly.

Severus takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath." She crosses her arms and looks bitterly at him. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just–"

"Slipped out?" There is no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends– you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" He opens his mouth, but closes it without speaking. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No– listen, I didn't mean–"

"-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggles on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turns and climbs back through the portrait hole. As she walks up through the Common Room there's but one person left in the room, she wipes her eyes that are now puffy, red, and irritated. The teen can't see her face, but attempts to speak to her.

"Evans." James calls and his voice for once isn't full of arrogance.

Lily turns around. Her redhead a little bit past her shoulders flips in her face before it settles around her face. She's livid and she doesn't wish to speak to Potter of all the toe rags. Her emotions are all over the place and she doesn't Potter to see her in such a vulnerable and weak state of being.

"What do you want now?" Her voice is hard but still racked with emotion.

"I riled Snivellus up. I... wasn't thinking and I didn't think–"

"It doesn't matter, Potter. Severus is no longer my friend. Just drop it."

She begins to walk away with James watching every detail of her retreating figure. Sometimes he wonders why he never wears his thinking cap when it comes to her. His intentions aren't to hurt Lily... ever. However, when he bullies Slytherins that are her friends and starts a bit of a fight in the Three Broomsticks it hurts her. Lily drives James crazy; she makes his arrogance spike higher and higher and delivers blows directly to his ego when she insults him or turns him down.

"Lily, what happened?" Marlene asks anxiously.

Lily shakes her head and sits down.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Asks Alice concerned. She sits down next to her. "Did Snape do something to you?"

"I-I finalized the end of my– our friendship." Chokes out Lily.

Fresh tears pour from her eyes and onto the carpeted floor.

"Lily, it's okay, you're better off without him." Consoles Marlene.

Margaret, Ariana, and Alice nod vigorously.

"You don't understand." Says Lily, wiping her eyes again. "He was my only friend back home. The only one who made it worth coming home for the summer. Someone who knew the truth about what I am. We were all each other had."

"He needs you more than you need him, Lily." Says Marlene quietly.

"I'm tired, I think I'm going to go to bed." Says Lily, not wanting to talk about it. The others nod and get off of her bed. "I'll talk to you guys in the morning."

She draws her curtains but does not fall asleep. Instead she listens to the voices of her concerned friends on the other side. She cannot hear what they are saying exactly but she knows that it is about her and her recent non-friendship with Severus.

Fresh tears come to the surface when she thinks about this and she tries in vain to keep them at bay. Eventually she settles for letting them fall and she silently cries until there are no more left. She listens to the soothing sound of Marlene's easy breathing and soon thereafter falls into an uneasy sleep full of dreams of Severus calling her a Mudblood and Potter hexing him into oblivion.

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

**~_The** **Girl's Dormitory When Lily's Gone_~**

"Yo, you scrawny white chicks think Lily's gonna be alright with that skinny little string bean?" Jenny asks throwing her last article of clothing in her bag before she slams her large body on the trunk effectively closing it without difficulty.

The girls exchange a look except Ariana. She's down with being called a scrawny white chick, if she's going to be straight up honest that's a pretty accurate definition for herself and she's proud of it. Naturally, the little potty mouth comedian gives it back to the large black woman with amusement in her tone.

"Girrrrllll~ Lils can handle herself. She's an independent white woman who need no man." She says doing the noodle neck.

"True dat! True dat! I'ma get me my shower on." Jenny says snapping her fingers before entering the bathroom they all share.

After the door click closed Alice and Marlene begin to laugh. Ariana on the other hand begins her packing again like nothing out of the ordinary just happened a few moments ago. They find this little comedian to be absolutely ridiculous just about all the time.

"Ari, you're crazy." Alice says getting back to packing.

After a short pause of slightly awkward silence Ariana speaks.

"I know you like Black, Marls, and I want you to know that I don't have any romantic intentions feelings of any kind towards him... I was going to work it in subtly into the conversation, but I kinda suck at that sort of stuff... so yeah. Also, he's not into me whatsoever, he's dating Romanova. Bloody skank." She says and then continues in a sweet and little girlish voice. "I hope you can forgive me. There's ice cream and puppy dogs in it for you if you do."

Her hands are clapped together, she's giving the puppy dog eyes, and her lips are super pouty. Marlene chuckles softly and Alice smiles softly.

"I forgive you, Ari." Marlene smiles.

To be honest, Marlene has always been severely jealous of Ariana because of her personality, looks, insane humor, and the way she does whatever she wants not caring if people judge her. It's because of her insecurities and what not talking since she truly has nothing against Ariana.

Plus, she wonders if her brunette friend is stupid or just doesn't care at all because it's kind of obvious Sirius' got a thing for her.

Marlene tries her hardest not to hate one of her friends for the fact that Sirius likes her… and has liked her for years. Nope, not hatred… just quiet seething.

That's when they hear Lily's loud footsteps up the stairs….

**Author's Note: I don't know about y'all but I love Ariana and Jenny! You can tell some things are in the way at the moment between couples other than Lily and James. And don't forget friendships. It shall spark lots of drama and humor if I have anything to do about it.**

**Reviews are much appreciated :~)**


	3. Home Sweet Home

**Author's Note:**

**~Important Detail:**

**Also, what do think about the whole Lily and Remus thing? Is it interesting? Or the drama with between two good friends: Ariana and Marlene. Also, the drama between Remus and James is pretty thick too. Lots and lots of set ups. :—P**

**I haven't done James' POV yet so I thought it would be interesting. I hope you enjoy this chapter. He's one of our main characters and he's been left out. We can't have that now can we?**

**~Chapter Three: Home Sweet Home~**

**~_James' POV_~**

_The surroundings are golden bubbles which only makes the somewhat long red mane more pronounced. The girl I can't seem to get out of my head's back is to me. When she turns around her emerald green eyes are sparkling with love and admiration. There's also a faint blush to her pale and flawless cheeks. I know all of it's because of me. She's beautiful._

_"James…." She whispers lovingly._

_"Lily…." I whisper back and I can tell my voice comes out a little husky as well._

_She blinks at me seductively before she puckers her lips lightly. I just blink and then I proceed to do the same waiting for our lips to _finally_ meet like I've _dreamed_ about for so long. I plan to do more than snog her senseless…._

"Potter!" A harsh female voice shouts breaking me from that moment.

I'm still listless and in that place where I don't know if this is real or if this is still a dream. I don't want this to be reality; I want to snog Evans… and among other things that should not be discussed with her parents. Ugh, I don't want to wake up….

"How long are going to keep sleeping?!" She continues. "We've got a train to catch. I only came up here because Black says you refuse to move from your bed since you think I'm still angry with you."

Oh yes, I remember last night. I was a bit distressed and angry. Evans drives me nuts and I saw her cry and felt that, you know, a small part of it was my fault, but it's mostly Snivellus' fault. Nasty little git.

I feel a delicate hand begin to shake me and touch me, so I sit up. With very bleary eyes I fumble on my glasses to see properly. Ooh, speaking of the devil and the person I want to see the most… she's right here.

"Oh…, Evans." I say and my amazing voice is all gruff.

I lean up towards her with puckered lips attempting to kiss her. Uh-oh, this is reality because I get a very 'Evans-y' reaction; she punches me on the head and it freaking hurts.

"Knock it off, pervert!" She exclaims with her fist still formed. She puts her hands down on her hips as she speaks. "Anyway, Potter, how can you boys live in such a pig sty? There's bowls of food, Butterbeer, and crap you still haven't packed. Isn't this supposed to be cleaned up… you know… before we leave… _today_?"

I laugh a little as I ruffle my already insanely messy bed head.

Suddenly, Evans screams… I think a cockroach scuttled in front of her feet. I watch in shock as her feet dance all around as she tries to avoid and get away from the little bug. I honestly don't know why girls freak out over little bugs… all you need to do is just stomp on the thing.

Then her foot trips right over one of my half finished bottles of Butterbeer, slips backwards, and her head crashes into of my half finished bowl of soup. To top off all of that a bunch of Mooney's books that he leaves here for the summer topples onto her.

I don't regret laughing loudly and insanely on my bed. Funny is funny, I can't help it and I don't want to stop laughing. Rarely, do I get to see some absolutely hilarious shit like that works out like that perfectly and I must savor the moments.

Evans sits up and I notice a pair of my boxers on top of her head. That's when I begin to freak out a little bit. I can't possibly let her see my pair of Quidditch boxers that my Mum sewed my name on the back of. That's brutally embarrassing!

"Ow… ow…. What's this…?" She whines feeling my boxers on top of my head.

That's when she notices that it's my pair of Quidditch boxers as I'm looking around for any sort of help or way for her not to see the pattern and the name on the back or kill me.

Uh-oh, I see the anger on her face! What am I going to do?!

"STUPID POTTER!" She roars while yanking off my underwear on top of her head, throwing it to the ground and proceeds to punch me in the face.

Oh god, that's painful! Her Super Bitch Punch causes me to crash backwards, hit my head on the wall, and fall hard onto the floor face-down. That's a hell of a wake-up call….

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

**~_Third Person's POV_~**

"Ugh, Lily." Groans Marlene. "Why do we always have to sit right next to the Prefects? We sit here so much we might as well dub this The Lily Evans Compartment."

Lily grins for the first time that morning. Which is a feat considering last night she broke a old and once strong bond and this morning she also had to wash soup out of her hair because of her encounter with James this morning.

"See, I have a theory that actually happens to be true. Potter and his band of monkeys are probably the biggest pranksters Hogwarts has seen thus far, right?"

"I'd like to hope so considering they've gotten in more trouble than all the years combined." Smirks Alice.

"Well, being the Marauders that they are, I know for a fact that they would like to sit as far from the Prefects as they can. That's in the very back and this way, we're no where near them."

"For someone who hates James Potter, you seem to put a lot of thought into avoiding him." Teases Alice.

Lily blushes furiously, but Marlene intervenes thankfully.

"Speaking of Prefects, Lily." She says. "Don't you have an end of the year meeting?"

Lily gasps. How could she have forgotten?

"Oh, no! I'll be back in a little while guys."

She zooms out of the compartment and next door. The only occupant, however, is Remus. Lily smiles at him considering the days they've had.

"Hey Lily." He greeted.

"Hey Remus." She says, sitting down across from him. "Are you still on the outs with Potter?"

She has to know. She feels responsible for this rift between them and she can't deny the guilt. Who wouldn't feel guilty? Maybe Lord Voldemort….

"Unfortunately yes." He says a little tensely. "I admit I was in the wrong, but he had no right to call me a dog."

The redhead bites her bottom lip and looks down at her feet where legs are crossed. She's never been in dating drama… because of Potter, so she really doesn't have any experience in dealing with something like this. Well, she'll just have to follow her heart.

"Remus… I-I don't want to come in between you and your friendship with Potter. I don't think I could live with the guilt if you two broke up permanently as friends."

"It's alright, it'll probably blow over in a couple of days. I'm probably going to have to be the one to break first and apologize."

Lily and Remus sigh in unison as the other Prefects come in. She briefly catches Severus' eye and after a moment looks away again. It is going to be different this summer. She'll have to get Marlene to come over and all that… hopefully… maybe this summer it can work.

The Prefects stay for a bit and listen to the Head Boy and Girl thanking them for a 'great year' and then listen as they give out instructions for patrolling. Thankfully, Lily is paired with Remus and not with Severus like she usually is. She can't handle that and will not handle that.

"Can we _not_ patrol by your compartment?" Begs Lily. "I'm not in the mood to see Potter right now. You probably heard… I kind of punched him in the face."

Remus begins to chuckle lightly. This morning's events were crazy. Ugh, it's not the first time Lily has punched him in the face. There was the time when they were all first years and they didn't know any magic yet and James dropped a dead frog in her hair… Lily's temper reacted violently and she decked him in the schnoz. And any other time Lily is without her wand she resorts to Muggle fighting and it's incredibly entertaining.

So, of course when the little werewolf is recalling this it brings a sound of enjoyment to his lips.

Lily snorts. "Yeah, yeah, it's all fun and games until someone gets your entire collection of books on Hogwarts dumped on their head."

They laugh a bit explosively and quickly turn around once they reach the general area of the Marauder's compartment. Truth be told he didn't want to be around James just yet either.

"The ironic thing is that that's the area we'd most likely have to patrol." Says Remus trying to lighten the mood.

It works and Lily laughs.

"So, did I tell you about my pool party?" Lily says calming down a bit.

Pool party? It's most likely Remus would have remembered if she said something about her and her friends being in bathing suits. He may be a sweetheart, but he's also a teen boy.

"Nope, I think I would have remembered… the thought of me being embarrassed in a swimming suit would have been note worthy." He chuckles slightly.

Lily lightly too. The two of them get along so easily, they have common interests, they're both book worms, and make each other feel comfortable. However, Lily just doesn't feel that spark she's read about in all of her adult romance novels.

"So, um, do you want to come?"

"I'd love to. Will your parents be okay with it though?"

"I'm sure they will. I'll ask them on the way home and then send you an owl."

For the rest of their patrol they walk back and forth talking about the party and Lily telling him the ridiculous things her mum has said Petunia is doing to appear perfectly normal to her friends. They talk for a good fifteen minutes until they realize their shift is over.

"Come on, it's time to tell Snape and Avery that it their turn to patrol."

Lily grimaces, but follows Remus back to the Prefect's compartment. She doesn't, with good reason, wish to see Severus… possibly ever. He's drifted apart from her, insulted her, and can't stand up for himself or her. Not like she needs to be stood up for though. She can do that just fine on her own.

"It's your turn to patrol." Says Remus to Severus and Avery.

The two glower at him but when Severus sees Lily is there, he directs his stare at her. Avery turns to see what his friend is staring at and smirks. Uh-oh.

"Miss your little Mudblood friend, Snape?" He asks mockingly.

Remus reaches for his wand, but Lily stops him.

"Don't bother." She says. "They're not worth it."

Avery smirks. "Do you hear that, Severus? The Mudblood thinks we're not worth her time! Isn't irony amusing?"

"Stop it, Avery." Says Severus quietly. "Let's just go patrol."

Avery ignores him though. Sometimes he just doesn't know when to quit.

"Where do you get all those scars from, Lupin? I don't buy that you go home every month to visit your mother. You hiding something?"

Remus glares at him, but his face looks considerably paler. Lily looks at him win curious and somewhat sympathetic green eyes.

"Sod off Avery." He growls (no pun intended). "Don't you have to go and stick your head up Voldemort's arse? I hear you once went so far that you came out of his mouth."

Lily laughs and Avery glares furiously at Remus. Funny is funny, but Avery doesn't like to be the punch in the punch line.

"You still didn't answer the question though." Continues Avery, regaining his composure.

"I didn't realize Remus' business was of your concern." Says Lily coolly.

Avery's head snaps toward Lily. She does not flinch or back up though, but she continues to glare defiantly at him. She only falters when he begins looking her up. Gross, doesn't he hate her for her blood status.

"How dare you speak to me, you filthy little Mudblood!"

Remus looks livid and is about to act when Lily holds him back. She whispers something in his ear and he smirks. He adores her.

Her head held high, she approaches Erebus Avery with a smirk on her face. He actually looks a little nervous, especially since he cannot hit a girl. Even though he's not evolved enough to obey to such morals. Those rules and morals do not apply to her though.

Not bothering to hex him, her arm swings up in a flash and slaps him across the face similar to how she attacked James today. He falls on the ground yelling in pain. Severus looks abashed and backs away quickly from Lily being the only other person she might be willing to hit in the compartment next.

Lily gives them both one last contemptuous look and turns on her heel to head back to her compartment with Remus on her tail.

She walks in and her friends look up automatically.

"Hey Lily and Remus, what's—" Begins Alice. "What's wrong?"

Remus looks at Lily and notices she is now crying. He wraps his arm around her and sits down. Perfect boyfriend material in many rights. Ariana bites back her jealousy not wanting to seem petty.

"Oh Lily, don't cry." Whispers Remus. "They're just arrogant arseholes."

"W-why on earth sh-should I _not _cry?" She gasps.

She is about to continue but her tears render her speechless. She cannot say anything else. Then suddenly the door opens and James stands there looking confused.

"Damn, where's Sirius?" He says not noticing Lily's sobs.

"Get out of here, Potter!" Lily snaps, reverting back to her defensive self.

She does not want the likes of James Potter witnessing her at a weak moment. It's very personal and vulnerable and she feels that James will bring it up with either her or someone else and make fun of her for it. It seems twisted and messed up, but he does it to others. Why would she be any different?

James turns to look at her and looks taken aback by the tears in her eyes. Clearly he did not expect her to be so upset or even capable of being so. He doesn't deal with crying girls very well.

"Evans! What's wrong?" He asks, genuinely sounding concerned.

Lily disregards this though. She doesn't think he has a sincere bone in his body. However, her heart starts to pick up its pace for unknown reasons.

"Leave Potter, I don't need you here for fake pity."

James looks hurt by her assumption and comes to sit down anyway at her other side whilst glaring heavily at Remus.

"Please Lily, don't cry." Begs Marlene. "I hate seeing you upset."

The others nod in agreement.

"C-can I have s-some new advice?"

They all laugh weakly. Inappropriate humor….

"Evans, what's wrong?" James reiterates.

Before she can respond to him or tell him to get out again, Sirius and Peter appear in the doorway.

"What's everyone doing in—" Begins Peter, and then his gaze and Sirius' falls on Lily.

They both cry. "Evans! What's wrong? Don't cry!"

Lily gives a shaky laugh. "Yeah, I think we're all on the same p-page!"

The whole room guffaws except for Sirius and Peter who look puzzled. They get over it though and sit down across from Lily. Despite her being upset to the point that she's I'm tears she still tries to shake it off and not have people she cares about worry about her. It's sweet, but it just makes them more concerned.

"Lily, what happened?" They ask.

Lily wipes her eyes before replying.

"We were patrolling the corridors when we were going back to tell Severus and Avery that it was their turn." She explains. "Then—"

Words fail her.

Remus sighs. "Long story short, Avery called her a 'filthy little Mudblood'."

Alice, Marlene, and Ariana gasp and Sirius, Peter, and James growl. It's not that they're shocked that he would say something like that… wait, yes they are.

"I'm _so_ going to kill him." Growls James.

Lily looks up alarmed. Uh-oh, she doesn't want to be the cause of a fight in the name of herself. She's a Prefect and an ex-friend.

"No, Potter, please don't!" Says Lily in anguish. The whole room is shocked. "What?"

"Why are you protecting that bastard?" He asks outraged, and the others look confused as well.

"I don't want anyone to get themselves in trouble because I got a little bent out of shape for being called that– that word. Just leave him be!"

James ignores her though and stands up abruptly. He doesn't understand her. All the other girls would love for him to come to the rescue and be— metaphorically speaking— be their Knight in Shining Armor.

"Are you really going to stop me… like last time? Are you going to give me another 'blow job'?" He teases light heartedly and refers to that time in Hogsmead. "Or punch me in the face again?"

"Just shut it, Potter!"

James notices how everyone's looking at him like he's the bad guy. Like it's stated before he doesn't deal well with crying girls… even one's he cares about. That's when he stands up and makes his over to the exit.

"Where are you going?" Asks Sirius confused.

"I have some business to attend to." Is all he says.

With that, he walks out of the compartment slamming it loudly to the point that the glass cracks slightly.

"Oh dear." Sighs Lily. "This isn't going to be pretty is it? … Stupid Potter."

The others shrug, but not before hearing a crack and seeing a flash of light come from the Prefects carriage. Oh no.

"What was that?" Asks Alice scared.

They all run out of their compartment to see Severus crouching down below a slug form of what must have been Avery. They also see a white-faced James, his wand still pointing unwavering at Avery, and he's looking rather vicious.

"Potter! What have you done to him?" Shrieks Lily.

James turns to face them all. "May you feast your eyes upon exhibit A. This is the result when someone calls Miss Lily Evans that vulgar name. Plus, his mother will probably like him better this way."

"My slapping his face was efficient enough." Says Lily annoyed.

"Apparently not considering you got that upset." Replies James, and Lily scowls.

He is interrupted by a growl from behind him. It is Severus. Lily has to look away as everyone else follows in behind her. The friends are concerned.

"Turn him right Potter." He snarls. "Or I'll report you to the Head Boy."

James smirks. "That's it? Ooh, _scary! _The big bad Head Boy will get me! Listen here, Snivellus, I don't give a damn about who knows Avery's fate. For all its worth, go tell the Head Boy. He'd be on my side over yours!"

Severus glares at him and says nothing because he knows James is right. However, he does not leave either and instead takes out his wand.

"You're such an arrogant swine, Potter." He sneers, his wand trained on him. "Maybe one day you'll look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you're not all you think you are. That is, of course, unless the mirror cracks first from your ugly, son of a bitch face."

The girls gasp except for Ariana who just smirks in amusement and the boys all brandish their wands, except for Peter, who hides behind Alice and Marlene.

James points his wand threateningly at Severus' face.

"Give me a reason." He snarls. "Give me a reason and I swear I'll do it."

Severus seems to be weighing his chances of escape. They do not look too good considering how many he is up against.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Ariana begins the mantra.

Lily, Marlene and Alice scowl at her. Sirius on the other hand smirks at her finding her antics amusing.

"No Evans to save you now, Snivellus." Says James. "No one to protect you now. Isn't that right, Evans?"

Lily says nothing. She does not want anyone to get hurt because of her, but she also does not want to get involved. Severus has proved how little he valued their friendship. She is not going to help him get out of these situations anymore.

James turns back to face Severus who seems to realize that Lily is done. James, however, lowers his wand.

"Get out of here." He spits.

With one last glare of utter loathing, Severus picks up a slimy Avery and stalks out of the compartment.

"Lucky no one else was here to see that," whispers Marlene. James turns and looks at her.

"Didn't you hear me? I wouldn't have cared if the Headmaster had been here watching." Says James, the color slowly returning to his face. "Come on, the trains slowing down. We must be back in London."

The eight went and began to drag their trunks and animals off of the train to put them into carriages like they had done for so many years. Two at a time, they casually lean against the platform and seep their way back into the Muggle community at Kings Cross.

"Mum! Dad!" Cries Lily, running over to her parents.

"Tiger Lily!" Exclaims her dad, John Evans, lifting her up since she is still that light and short.

Her mother hugs her happily too and allows her husband to put Lily down. Then she begins to rub the sides of her temples which alarms the daughter. However, she doesn't say anything not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I missed you guys." Whispers Lily, not paying attention to anyone else in the station.

"We've missed you too, honey." Says her mum, Samantha Evans. "How was your year? You only have two more left, correct?"

Lily nods.

"It was great! Being a Prefect is terrific!" She suddenly looks around and next to her parents. "Tuney wouldn't come again?"

Her mother nods her head sadly and her father suddenly looks angry.

"Her exact words?" Asks Lily gently.

"'_Why would I want to go near a place with a bunch of freaks? They're all freaky and plus, I have to prepare for my pool party!'"_ Recites John. His face is now flushed with anger.

Lily sighs and rolls her eyes just as her friends walk over. It's not like she hasn't dealt with her sister's bullshit before.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Evans." Says Marlene.

She is the only one of Lily's friends whom has met the Evans' before. In fact, Petunia was so shocked that someone so 'normal' was a friend of her sister that she dubbed Margaret 'all right'.

"Hello Marlene." Says Samantha, smiling at the blonde girl. She looks then at her daughter's other friends. "Oh, let me guess now! You must be Alice and you must be Ariana!"

Alice, Marlene and Ariana giggles and Lily shakes her head in amusement.

"It's the other way around Mum!"

"Oh, well you must forgive me, girls. It has been a while since I was as young and clever as this one here." She looks pointedly at Lily, who sticks her tongue out playfully, and her friends laugh.

"We'll meet you by the car, dear." John says, taking her carriage.

Lily nods and turns to her friends as her parents walk away.

"I meant to ask you guys earlier, can any of you come to our family's end of the summer pool party?" Lily asks them hopefully.

"I wish." Sighs Alice. "My parents applied me for an internship at the Ministry all summer so I won't be able to leave."

"And you know my mum." Marlene says with a grimace, and Lily sighs.

Mrs. McKinnon— or whatever she is these days— is one of the most self-centered, self righteous, Pureblood extremists that one can meet. She pays little interest in what her daughter wanted and she always comes first under any circumstances. The attention she _does_ pay to her daughter is always negative too.

"Ariana?"

"Sure!" She says cheerfully, and Lily beams in surprise since she could have sworn she's been pissed off at her. "I'm free all summer, when would you like me to come?"

"I'll ask my parents, I'm sure in the next week though since the party is on June 30th, twenty days away. I'll send an owl reminding you of my address." A passerby whom had heard the term 'send you an owl' shakes his head as if to unjumble his thoughts and keeps walking.

"Anyway, I'll see you on the 30th and I'll write to the rest of you." Says Lily, hugging her friends. "Bye!" She says, waving to them as she walks out of Kings Cross to find her parents' car.

* * *

**~•xXx•~**

* * *

The street leading off of Spinners End is typically quiet, peaceful, and relaxed. Each house has at least one or two kids but they are all well behaved for the most part. That is why on June 29th it is a surprise to hear a loud shriek emit from the Evans' house. Much to Lily's chagrin.

"WHAT?" Shrieks Petunia Evans.

You can hear her no matter what part of the house you were in. Whether it was the attic, Lily's room, or perhaps the worst: the kitchen.

"Looks like my Mum told her about—" Begins Lily but then stops short.

She's in her room gossiping with Ariana. She had arrived about six days ago today and the two have been trying to stay out of Petunia's hair. It has proved challenging. Well, technically Lily has; Ariana on the other hand has tried to piss her off, but Lily stops each time with a fit of giggles.

First, it's how the snacks are all wrong. As Petunia points out, the peanut butter crackers aren't supposed to be mixed with the M&Ms— Ariana mixed that one. Then it's the swimsuits. Petunia had originally had her favorite string bikini that's all polka-dotted and pretty until it got all snipped up which they claimed to be from the cat— it's actually Ariana who did it. Now, she has to go with the only other bathing suit she own, a dark blue one piece. This pissed her off the most and had led to an all out row between Petunia and their parents claiming that the cat had to be neutered. And now, it's the fact that Remus, Lily's boyfriend/date person is coming to the pool party, but Ariana still does not know this. In Petunia's mind, he is now going to be a party crasher of the century and now the whole pool party is ruined.

"Petunia, calm down!" Shouts Samantha Evans rubbing her temples lightly. "Everything will be fine!"

"How could _she_ invite him to _my _party?!" Screams Petunia.

Ariana looks at her confused, but Lily pretends like she does not see her. Instead she listens to the argument coming from downstairs as

"You're fine with Ari being here and she's like him too."

"Yes, but Ariana's _cool_!" Cries Petunia. "I still don't understand why she's friends with—"

"PETUNIA CANDICE EVANS!" Shrieks John. "HOLD YOUR TONGUE AND DON'T YOU _DARE_ FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"

"I'm just saying that—" Begins Petunia.

"SILENCE!" Roars John Evans.

"The good thing about your parents yelling so loud is that you don't even have to try hard to listen." Jokes Ariana, and Lily smiles weakly. "Plus, you're sister thinks I'm cool."

Truth be told, Petunia wishes to look like Ariana. It's because the brunette is fairly pretty and what really adds to her appearance is that the girl's got confidence and an air about that says she doesn't care and gives zero fucks. That makes a lot more attractive opposed to a person who's always hiding. Also, since Ariana's putting up airs and acting more civilized although the occasional funny and slightly inappropriate quip slips opposed to her normal wild, loves craziness and craziness loves her intense personality, Petunia's tolerance for her grows further.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP! NO PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS IN THE M&MS, SWIMSUITS, WIZARDS, ONE PIECES… _ENOUGH! _MAYBE IT'S JUST MY INNER MALE SPEAKING, BUT THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS! PETUNIA CANDICE EVANS, I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU HAD BETTER GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER OR I WILL _NOT _HESITATE IN PUTTING AN END TO THIS POOL PARTY!"

The whole house is deadly silent. Lily has never heard her dad so livid before and is shaking in fear. Ariana hugs her tightly as just shrugs. She's heard much more deadly yelling where she lives at home.

There is no more arguments, but only footsteps are to be heard going up and down the hallway. If Lily is only able to use magic she would have locked her door for what happened next.

Petunia opens the door and sticks her tear-streaked, red-face in and she hisses. "Lily Marie Evans, I swear to god, you are the biggest _freak_ I've ever met!"

She slams the door and leaves Lily and Ariana shocked. Before she can stop, Lily succumbs to tears and the brunette immediately begins to comfort her. This so far is one hell of a summer.

**Author's Note: So, what do you think? Any comments?**

**Also, I have a question: do you guys want me to do an anime style version of Lily and James together (I can't draw any other style :—P) for this story's cover?**

**Reviews are much appreciated. :—)**


	4. Pool Party and Crashers

**Author's Note:**

**~Thanking Reviewers:**

**•—Emily: Don't worry, Remus/Lily is not a permanent thing. Trust me. Lily and James will end up together because then our main character, Harry, wouldn't be born. Also, things will be made up some time soon. Thank you for the review :—D. Be sure to keep reading.**

**~Chapter Four: Pool Party and Crashers~**

This is sure one hell of a summer for James Potter, but not in a bad way like it has been so far for a certain redhead he knows. It all started on June 23rd at around midnight. The doorbell rang and James, being the lightest sleeper, stumbles out of bed and down the stairs. He, however, misses one of the steps and somersaults the rest of the way down, landing painfully on his backside.

"Who the hell is calling at twelve in the morning?" he mutters. He opens the door and is face-to-face with a soaked-to-the-core Sirius Black. He immediately comes out of his trance and helps his friend bring his trunk and broomstick in.

"C-Can I stay here?" He asks, averting his eyes from James.

"Of course." James replies.

Sirius is like a brother to him. In fact, they pretty much are brothers since they were both the purest of Purebloods. Not that that matters to either of them. James had known from the expression on his best mate's face that he was serious (no pun intended) on staying here. He also knows that Sirius cannot go back to his rotten family where there are blood status obsessed parents, a psychotic house-elf from hell, and a Death Eater wannabe for a younger brother. James is glad Sirius decided to come to his house. It's either that or changing just so he would not be miserable and start to be horrible to his friends or it becoming a homicidal maniac and murdering the lot of them in their sleep. James prefers the actual situation best.

Copernicus and Dorcus Potter takes Sirius in with open arms. They already have four children, previously five, but Voldemort killed their eldest. However, they have always wanted to take him to stay since the first time they met him. They know then and now that he is nothing like his parents whom they whole-heartedly do not approve of. The only reason they know the Black's is because, being Purebloods, they all traveled within the same inner circle and with James' dad being the Minister, it is hard to avoid them.

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

"Hey Lily?" Ariana says as they are swinging on the swing set that Lily and Severus first met on.

It's a sentimental place they're swinging and don't forget old and rather prone to break at some point in the bear future.

"Mhm?"

"Who did you invite that Petunia freaked out about? You forgot to tell me the other day."

Lily hasn'r forgotten at all. In fact, she's banking on the hope that Ariana, herself, has forgotten. She wants it to be a surprise, but there is really no way in avoiding it now.

"I invited Remus."

Ariana spits out the lemon lime soda she has been sipping. It's a typical spit take one does; she can't control herself in that particular instance.

"Pardon? I could have sworn I heard you say that you invited Remus. As in Remus _Lupin_."

"You heard right." Grins Lily, and Ariana stares at her in horror for a moment and then re-composes herself.

Lily's grin then turns into a smirk. She can tell that something has gone through the brunette's mind and she has a good idea what is. Ariana, like her sister has stated before, is cool, but in a different sort of way. She likes to mask her romantic feelings; that's only part of her personality that's masked though. However, she happens to earlier show a bit of a glimpse to her true feelings.

"Alright. Cool. No problem." She says and she fakes it pretty except Lily's already got her evidence that proves other wise.

The blue eyed girl swings higher and a little harsher feeling frustration boiling in her gut. She doesn't want to snap at Lily; she doesn't to reveal her romantic intentions that are on halt. Despite sounding like a total bitch if she tells one of her good friends that she has the hots for her boyfriend— which normally she wouldn't care if she sounds like that— although that would reveal she likes Remus and she can't have that.

"Ariana." Lily says in a playful yet serious tone. "I know you like Remus."

The sixteen year old swallows uncomfortably and then she begins to swing higher making the redhead nervous. She knows Ariana is crazy enough to swing so intensely that she'd break the swing set.

"How do you know that?" She says with a hint of suspicion as to who that is.

"Alice told me when Remus first became my boyfriend." She says. Then she says in a worried tone. "Um, do you might want to calm down with your swinging?"

Ariana is not happy. She feels a little bit betrayed and who can blame her? Her teeth grits as she swings a little harder on the plastic seat. It makes Lily nervous as she stops swinging all together.

"Alice." She growls. "I'm _so_ going to kill her."

"Ari, I don't think she meant it to make you mad. I think she just wanted me to know, so I don't show him off in front of you or act really insensitive or something like that. It explains why I thought you were really angry at me… I'm sorry if I've hurt you. I'm glad you're not so angry with me you didn't come to my party." Lily says feeling still nervous, a little nervous, and uncomfortable. "I won't go out with him anymore if it really bothers you."

Now, Ariana feels guilty. She may feel a little angry and jealous that Lily's going out with Remus who's her big crush these days, but she doesn't want her good friend and almost best friend to be sad and break up with her first and only boyfriend. She knows, because of James, she's never gone out with anyone; since they'd usual end up with some kind of head injury. So, Remus, being one of James' best mates, is not a likely candidate to be injured beyond repair. A little injured maybe.

"No. It's fine. He likes you not me. I don't want you to be unhappy. Also, he's showing absolutely no interest in me after three years, it's ridiculous. I'm over him." She says trying not to fake the sincerity even though it's through gritted teeth.

Lily looks at her and then gasps when Ariana leaps from the swing during a big swing. She screams 'whee' when she flies through the air causing the swing she's sitting on to break down. Lily screams as she avoids wooden beams crushing her.

"OOF!" Ariana exclaims as she falls on her butt and then begins to roll.

She's on her back laughing at herself rather hysterically as she feels a dull ache all over body. She's rather high on life at the moment. Lily on the other hand is a little pissed off as she looks at a crushed childhood memory….

**.. ..**

**.. ..**

James wakes up one sunny morning and opens his eyes blearily. He nearly has a heart attack when he realizes his owl is on top of him and the wake up call he gets is a loud screech in his face.

"Babadi! Get off of me!" He cries.

Yes, he named his owl, Babadi but in his defense he was two.

Getting out of bed, he strides over to where the owl is now residing and takes the letter off of its talon. When he unfolds it and reads its contents he nearly drops it out the window.

_Dear James,_

_How you doin'? ;—P As you may or may not know Lily's sister Petunia is throwing a pool party and guess what boo-boo, I got you._

James' eyebrows shoot up at this and starts to laugh. Even in letters Ariana is playfully flirty and a rather funny. Also, by the way she's worded part of her letter he assumes that he's in and gets to see Lily in a swimsuit, hopefully in the bikini family.

… _It's at two o'clock sharp, so don't be late. Oh and you're welcome ;—). Also, before I forget don't invite Sirius… me and my home girl Lils can only take one of you at a time. Where somethin' sexy and sweep her off her feet. :—D_

_See ya then honey boo-boo,_

_Ari Zigs _**(Author's Note: Her shortened name for herself when she's lazy)**

_P.S. Lily has already invited Remus, so don't rip his head off and feed it to her cat. Ha-ha, but seriously don't do that._

_P.P.S. Lily does not know about this so don't tell her! It'll be our little secret. ;—D_

_P.P.P.S. Sorry, last one, I promise! I attached Lily's address on a separate sheet of parchment._

James is still laughing rather loudly and it begins to grow nervous. He's going to be in a swimming trunks around Lily his long time epic crush and the apple of his eye is going to be in a sexy swimsuit too. Ooh, he's going to be a nervous wreck.

"Morning." Greets a groggy Sirius. "What's so funny, Prongs?"

"Nothing."

James tries not to flush in embarrassment as he stows away the letter. He doesn't want Sirius to know yet and plus he doesn't doubt that Ariana is serious about the whole don't invite Sirius thing. He's _got_ to see Lily in a bikini at least once and commit it to memory for forever.

However, Sirius smirks widely and slyly. James' eyes in turn widens before his best mate begins to chase him down like a dog and a rabbit. Pun intended. They're knocking things over in his room as they continue their chase.

"Stop, Padfoot!" James exclaims.

"No! TELL ME!" He says knocking over a lamp.

By this time Owl begins to screech loudly. They continue to chase each other until James hops up on his bed looking wild. He makes a move to go right, Sirius counters him, the messy haired boy makes a turn to go left, the long haired teen matches him.

"Come on, Jamesy-poo." Sirius teases remembering when one of the biggest skanks at Hogwarts used to call him that.

"I told you never to call me that!" He says in a fake angry sort of tone.

"Then tell me!"

Sirius, with his long and rather muscular legs, jump onto the bed and tackles James hard knocking both of them off of the bed. They narrowly missed hitting and busting their head open on the corner of the bedside table. The two Gryffindors groan in pain.

The shaggy haired teen rolls off of his bestie, but lucky him… his hand clutches a small parchment and stands with victory in his eyes.

"So, you've got a letter from Azalea?" Sirius says and James can detect the jealousy in his eyes. "Man, I told Remus this before 'Bros before Hoes'. You're keeping secrets with a chick."

"Yeah, that's what you meant." James says rolling his eyes.

The messy haired teen isn't a fool and he certainly knows the fellow Quidditch player like the back of his hand. Sirius has a thing for Ariana Azalea and anyone with intuition or gives a crap would sense it.

"Don't know what you're talking about?" Sirius huffs going back to the letter in his hands.

"Who's keeping secrets now?" James challenges. "You like her. Admit it."

Sirius just rolls his grey eyes. "Eh, she's kind of pretty and a man's got needs—"

"Ew, Padfoot. Save that bullocks for Katerina."

Sirius grins devilishly. "So, Little Ari doesn't want me along, huh? Oh, then we must go." James nods in agreement and Sirius begins to whimper. "Come on mate, let's go eat! I'm hungry!"

"You're always hungry." He follows Sirius, however, and the two of them follow the smell of eggs and bacon.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter wisely stay out of the boys' way during their time before the pool party. They run around the Manor and their property like a herd of rhinoceros', they set pranks on James' siblings— particularly his younger sister— like there is no tomorrow, they eat the amount of food the whole Great Hall could eat, and they order Zonko Products by the dozen. But throughout it all James is incredibly distracted by the prospect of seeing Lily this summer. He has always hoped that this kind of thing would happen. However, he is also worried about how she would react to two extra people there and to add to that… two people she wished would jump in the lake with the squid.

"Prongs mate, calm down." Says Sirius on the 29th.

The two best mates are going to go shopping at the local shop where they sell beach wear… which is bound to have some swim trunks. Sirius and James have never been in a pool (not a popular wizard past time), but they do know how to swim though. They'll get some towels too.

"_Siriusly_ Prongs, calm down." Teases Sirius, and James groans.

"How many times have we told you that that pun died many moons ago?"

Sirius counts on three of his fingers before answering.

"Seventeen thousand one hundred and eleventy seven times, today." Says Sirius grinning. James rolls his eyes and resumes pacing. "Did anyone ever tell you that if you keep rolling your eyes they're one day going to roll out of your head?"

"No, but I'll keep that in mind." Murmurs James.

There's a short pause between them. Sirius is thinking rather deeply whether or not tell James something and break it down gently to him so there's not another match between them. Knowing both of their recklessness they'd crack their skull open.

"You better stop that Padfoot, you might split your face open if you keep trying to think so hard." James teases.

"Well, I am a _sirius_… kind of guy." He says and James groans again. Sirius continues. "Anyway, I invited Remus."

The messy haired teen scowled severely at his best mate. He doesn't hate one of his fellow Marauders, but he's super pissed. He and him had a falling out because he _knows_ that James has been in love with Lily for years, but Remus didn't give him any sort of warning or permission before he asked out the temperamental redhead.

"_Why?!_" He hisses.

"'Cause you two need to make up and this is getting ridiculous. He's coming over to talk to you."

James growls in frustration and Sirius just grins. Rarely, does he not smile.

"Come on, Prongs, growling is my thing remember." He winks. "Since I'm such a _dog_."

There's a very short pause where they just look at each other before they both break into obnoxious laughter. Sirius is almost never serious. Ironic, I think not.

Suddenly, the door bell rings and James stops laughing knowing who's there. Sirius just goes out of the room they practically share, slides down the rail, and lands nk front of the door with such grace that anyone would be surprised he's a hard core Quidditch player.

"Oi Mooney, how have you been?"

Remus is obvious uncomfortable. He knows he hasn't exactly broke into James' home, but he knows that his fellow Marauder doesn't exactly want him here. However, Sirius has invited him and he's on his side… to at least try and make up with James, but if push comes to shove Sirius is sticking with James. Well, the messy haired teen give him a home to stay in and food.

"Fine, I suppose." He said scratching a fresh scar absent mindedly and then wincing. "I've missed both of you."

"Come on, bro." Sirius says thumping his chest twice his fist before bringing him into a rather awkward one armed hug. "I've missed you too!" After a prolonged moment Sirius let's go and says. "Alright, enough of that. It was getting awkward. James is in his room."

"Thanks."

The both of them enter James' bedroom. Immediately, there's an awkward silence between them as the host gives Remus the 'death glare' and the latter has to look away to some unknown object on the ground. Sirius sighs loudly on the other hand.

"Awkward…." He says.

"I'm sorry, James." He says. "Let me explain—"

"You're sorry?!" James demands getting in his face. "You're sorry?! You know I like Lily! You _know_ I like her! Yet, you've gone behind my back and went out with her!"

"Prongs, calm down." Remus implores.

"YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME THAT ANYMORE!" James roars.

James tackles him throwing his wand to the wind and causes the wooden flooring to shake. Sirius' eyes fly to his eyebrows in insane surprise.

"Oi, Prongs!" Sirius exclaims.

"I **(PUNCH)** TRUSTED **(KICK)** YOU **(JAB)** AND **(PUNCH)** YOU **(KICK)** BETRAYED **(JAB)** ME **(PUNCH)** BY **(KICK)** BLOODY **(JAB)** GOING **(PUNCH)** OUT **(KICK)** WITH **(JAB)** EVANS **(PUNCH)** WHO **(KICK)** I'VE **(JAB)** LOVED **(PUNCH)** FOR **(KICK)** FOREVER!" Growls James.

Sirius is absolutely horrified and he attempts to pry James off. He has never seen James so angry before and result to this sort of violence. It makes him sick to his stomach that he would do this to their close friend.

He goes limp in Sirius' arm and straightens up and out his jeans before casting another dirty look at Remus. Remus is now sporting several bruises on top of his fresh scars and a broken nose, thankfully for him though, he managed to block most of the blows by squirming around on the floor. All James has to show there was a struggle is a split lip and a bruise on his wrist in the shape of a gripping hand mark.

The three teens are panting and fighting for breath as they lay down on their backs. Not to mention there's a pounding of feet up the stairs.

"Boys! What's going on up here?!" Dorcas demands.

"Boys just being boys…." Sirius chuckles as if he's on acid as he waves his hand absentmindedly. "It's alright, darlin'."

_Mrs._ Potter looks at him briefly with a familiar look of amusement before it grows serious again when her eyes are on both her son and one of his good friends she's met many times. Her expression transforms into one of horror.

"Remus, honey!" She exclaims.

She drops to her knees, whips out her wand, and cradles Remus' head gently in a very maternal fashion. She points the tip of it at his face before she says. "_Episkey_."

Suddenly Remus feels a warmth flow throughout his body centered at his nose and then his face and body cools back down. Dorcas smiles at him sweetly before helping him to his feet.

"T-thank you, Mrs. Potter." Remus mumbles softly.

"Oh sweetie pie, just call me Dorcas. Everyone calls me that." She smiles whilst waving her hand in a dismissive way. Then she glares evilly at her son stumbles to his feet. "JAMES COPERNICUS POTTER! How could you beat up your friend Remus here?!" Then she looks to Remus whom like James is cowering a little and says sweetly. "Which isn't your fault one bit, honey."

Remus nods weakly because this woman has the capacity to go from a raging mamma bear and then to a sweet teddybear mamma like a crack of a whip. It makes everyone feel really awkward in the room.

"But, Moony, here damaged me too. Look at my face!" He shouts back at his mom.

"You hurt him far more than he hurt you! And you better hope I don't do the same damage to you!" She hisses before exiting the room where her other children are giggling. She pops her bed in a brief moment and says sweetly. "Oh, and I made a snack. Come on down if you want some boys."

There's a short silence as the siblings and the mother leaves before the three boys burst into laughter. Gut wrenching laughter. As sounds of enjoyment carry out through the fairly spacious room things are feeling relatively normal.

"Can I explain myself now, Prongs?" Remus sighs as he wipes a stray tear away.

"Fine." James says begrudgingly.

There's a fairly short pause before the teen wolf **(Author's Note: My sister is obsessed with that show)** begins. "I know you love Lily. I like her, but I don't like her quite like that."

James attention peaks and Sirius is confused. This doesn't make sense to either of them; why would Remus go out with Lily if he viewed her as a friend?

"Whoa…, you lost me there, Mooney." Sirius says. "What do you mean?"

"Let me explain myself." He says sitting down on James' old rocking chair. "I'm not using her or anything and my intentions aren't to hurt her either. I, erm, it's hard to explain."

"It shouldn't be. Just be honest." James says. "We're your best mates."

"I'm going out with her because… I'm trying to subtly get her to warm up to you." Remus blurts out nervously.

In unison James and Sirius' brows rise up into their dark hair. They didn't expect to hear that come from one of their best mates' lips. In fact they didn't know what to expect from their more level headed buddy. This is definitely a surprise.

"Wow, you're like the ultimate wing man!" James says in explosive surprise.

"Except the snogging, the hand holding, and the shag—"

"Padfoot!" James and Remus exclaim.

Sirius just lets out his bark like laugh at making both his buddies uncomfortable. The others roll their eyes as James falls back on his bed.

Soon enough the two of them came to an agreement, a truce. They agreed no snogging, only hand holding if necessary, and definitely under any circumstances _no_ shagging. Everything's patched up and they just wish Peter is here to enjoy in all of this as the began to fret over when they're going to see Lily again.

James sighs. "Maybe I'm overreacting about this pool party."

Sirius stares at him incredulously. "_Maybe?_ James, you tried to actually tame your hair. Your _untamable_ hair! You're nine miles past overreacting!"

James rolls his eyes. "Thanks Padfoot, I can always count on you to make me feel better."

"All I'm saying is, tone it down, like, several notches." Says Sirius, leaning forward in his chair. "Just because you're taking this party crazy serious doesn't mean Lily will necessarily look at you any differently. _E__specially_ because she didn't invite you and I mean, she has a boyfriend and it's her the sister she _loathes_ party!"

Suddenly, there's a loud thump. The two Marauders look over and see Remus with James' little four year old sister attached to his leg and refusing to let go. Sirius and James begin to snicker.

"Please, Jennifer, let go." He asks the cute little girl sweetly.

"No. I love you, Remmy." She says squeezing hard.

Sirius and James laugh a little harder as Remus flushes in embarrassment.

"Quite the ladies man, aren't you Moony?" Sirius jokes.

"Oh shut up."

James stands after he and Sirius are practically paralyzed with insane laughter stands in front of Remus and Jennifer.

"Oi Jennifer, want to see a spider?" James teases.

The little girl let's out a shrill scream before taking off with her cute little brown pigtails flying in the wind as she runs down the hall. Remus then joins in the laughter before James goes back to comparing and contrasting swimming trunks.

"What's going on?" Remus says giving him a pointed look.

"Ignore him, Moony." Says Sirius getting up to help with Remus' trunk and owl cage. "He's going through PLM."

"What's PLM?" Asks Remus.

He has a feeling he does not want to know.

"Pre-Lily Madness." Explains Sirius, and Remus laughs.

James glares at the pair of them.

"Come on! We need to go shopping for suits! We've wasted like two hours already."

"OI! Keep your pants on, Prongsie!"

"Is Remus here?" asks Dorea walking down the stairs. "Hello, Remus dear!"

"Hello again, Mrs. Potter." Says Remus politely.

"I've told you a million times Remus, call me Dorcas." She says, smiling fondly at him. "It's never stopped Sirius here."

"Ah, Dorcas, one day you'll fall madly in love with me and run off when Mr. Potter isn't watching," teases Sirius.

"What's this I hear?" Asks Copernicus Potter walking in through the front door. "Sirius trying to steal my wife again?"

"Of course not Charlus, 'ol pal." Smirks Sirius.

He turns back to Dorcas and winks though.

"Come on Padfoot, enough flirting with my Mum." Laughs James. "She's way too old for you anyway."

"_Excuse_ me?" Says Dorcas narrowing her eyes playfully.

"Err, I love you Mummy." Says James batting his eyes.

Dorcas playfully smacks her third youngest on the arm and helps her husband get his coat off.

"We're going to go shopping for swim trunks now, so we'll be back later tonight." James tells his parents. "We can catch something to eat in the village."

"Okay, be careful." Says Dorea.

"Aren't I always?"

"Do I really have to dignify that with a response?"

* * *

**~•xXx•~**

* * *

The next day, the Evans' house is full of mayhem. They are all running around preparing for the pool party and so far Petunia has been reduced to tears five times. It is only ten in the morning. In fact, Lily has to frequently hold back Ariana from slapping her.

"Hey Mum, can I ask you something?" Asks Lily, walking into the kitchen alone.

Currently Ariana is still asleep, monopolizing half the bed, and snoring like a chain saw. Lily in attempt to get her friend out of that annoying state of being has poked her several times in the side and eventually just gave up.

"Sure honey." Replies Samantha.

"Do you and Daddy really like Vernon? I know he's going to be there and that's why Petunia's making such a fuss."

Samantha stops polishing the cabinets mid-wipe and sighs. It's already been a long day and it's not even the afternoon yet. The head aches are getting more frequent these days. Petunia and Lily are not helping this situation at all.

"No, I can't say that we do." She says, starting again.

"Then you don't think he's a good match for 'Tuney?"

Rose shakes her head. "On the contrary. I think he's a perfect match for Petunia. Your sister has always wanted to lead a normal life and so has Vernon as I'm sure we can all see. I think he'll be able to give her that life she has always wanted… if they continue to go on dating seriously."

Lily nods and leaves her Mum to clean and goes upstairs to try and wake Ariana. She feels like she should earn a medal if she can.

Later, as Lily and Ariana are getting in their swimsuits and finishing up the soon to be no longer brunette's dye job, the girls are discussing Petunia's serious boyfriend that when she's not stressing out and acting like a crazy spastic bitch she can't shut up about **(Author's Note: Wow, that was a really long sentence)**. It's pretty gossip-y topic.

"I don't see why she takes interest in that insanely boring fat fuck." Ariana says tying the back of her pink bikini in a bow. "I mean, usually really fat people date other really fat people."

"I think they balance each other out." Lily says through fits of snickers. "He's really fat and she's really mean. Those are two horrible traits, so one isn't way better than the other."

Ariana shrugs as she arranges her rather large boobs in the bikini top. She's pushing them around, moving the bikini top that's a bit too small for her in the correct places, and then smooching her cleavage together with an elated smile. One of Lily's brows is raised and the other is narrowed as she feels a little insecure.

"What are you staring at?" Ariana says playfully.

"N-nothing." Lily flushes.

"Come on, Lily. Les-be-honest." She says with a playful smirk.

The redhead's eyes widen in mock horror as she thumps her giggling friend. Ariana lets out a small 'ow' before she continues on with her giggling. She enjoys playfully, with no real intentions to hurt anyone, teasing her friends.

"Alright, I was staring at your chest. It's only because it's so big."

"Wow, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that before." Ariana says sarcastically whilst rolling her eyes.

Lily gives her a look before she continues. "I mean, I'm still in an A-cup. You're probably like what a Double D? So, big boobs are weird to me… and I kind of want a bigger chest."

Ariana begins to laugh… loudly. Lily scowls and feels even more insecure as the girl finally regains control over herself. It's not that she's making fun of her friend… not in the slightest.

"Trust me, girl, you don't want these. Every time I lay on my back to go to sleep I'm afraid these damn things'll sling around and choke me in my sleep. Also, I can't even begin to explain to you about the back pain! I swear, sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant or naw 'cause this… it isn't fun. And another thing—"

"Okay, I get it. Big boobs aren't a walk in the park. I just wish stupid Petunia would stop bragging about her chest."

"Trust me, I'm pretty good with telling cup sizes and she's most likely a B. That's not impressive." Ariana says dismissively. "I don't see how you're going to deal with her?"

Considering people haven't even shown up yet and she's already freaking out and seeing as it's not even time for people to show up yet, it's safe to say she's going to be the most annoying person to be around.

"It'll be fine. Remus will be there to support me along with you and I'm sure he will be super duper cute in his swim trunks."

She blushes slightly at the thought of a shirtless attractive guy in her presence and Lily laughs. Then the redhead begins to remove some of the tinfoil in her good mate's hair.

"Yes, I imagine he'll be a right sight better than seeing Vernon in a speedo." She says and both girls cringe.

The little brunette had met Vernon last night and had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom immediately. Lily swears she could hear stifled giggles from in there muffled by a towel.

Lily grins. "That's the spirit."

Ariana grins to herself at the thought of two other Marauders being there. Lily will be so shocked and Samantha and John had approved of them coming. She had made them promise not to tell Lily since it was a 'surprise' for her.

They both laugh and finish putting on sunscreen and fixing Ariana's hair. Once they have finished primping they walk down the stairs taking mind not to stare too much at the once brunette's hair too much.

"Oh god!" Samantha says taken aback at the brightness of the flirty teen. Then she recovers herself as she rubs her temple. "Oh my god. Your hair is so beautiful; you dyed the bottoms of your curly hair pink. Creative!"

The two girls look at each other and begin to giggle as the mother is still stunned by the brightness. Unknown to Samantha, the goal isn't beauty it's to piss off Ariana's parents. The sixteen year old girl who doesn't care about people judging her since she's just had enough has very controlling parents. So, she feels the need to rebel.

"Yes, there's nothing freaky at _all _about pink hair!" Sneers Petunia. "Totally normal!"

Ariana shrugs and says. "Whateves."

Lily glares at her sister. Her parents look between the two of them uneasily. This is supposed to be a fun day but Petunia always manages to ruin one. The redhead then decides to do the thing that will annoy her sister the most. She approaches her, noting the fear in Petunia's eyes.

"I'm happy for you and I can't wait to see you and Vernon play in the pool today." Says Lily, feigning sweetness.

She smiles at Petunia's shocked face and walks past her. If anything, it will make her sister come out worse and her smelling like a…well, like a lily flower. If nothing else, it will successfully shut Petunia up for the rest of the day.

She walks out of the kitchen with Ariana and out to the yard where the pool, the lawn chairs, the neat looking water slide, and pool toys. Lily and her family have had pool parties before, but never one as a teen with teen friends. It's going to be worse when there is going to be old school friends she hasn't seen in years. Plus, the ever insecurity of being in a little black bikini.

"Lily? Yo, girl, can you hear me?" Ariana says shaking Lily from her thoughts.

Lily turns to look at Ariana like she is seeing her for the first time.

"Sorry, I must have been daydreaming." Says Lily apologetically. "What did you say?"

"I was asking whether or not you knew what time Remus is coming?"

Despite the attitude of not giving a crap Ariana's heart begins to race at the thought of a certain Marauder **(Author's Note: wink wink)** seeing her with her new highlights that are pink and don't forget being in a bikini.

"Oh, well the wedding starts at two and I think he wrote that he'd be here around noon," replies Lily.

She looks at the clock visible in the kitchen. It is now quarter to noon!

"He should be coming in fifteen minutes then." Says Ariana with a genuine smile.

Lily on the other hand looks absolutely nervous. It's so cute and the reason she's so nervous is because she's never had a 'boyfriend' before. It's time for Ariana to come to the rescue!

"You'll be amazing Lily." She reassures her. "Just relax and don't get too nervous. We all know he likes you." She jokes about the nervous part.

Lily suddenly looks alarmed which throws off Ariana slightly.

"Is it that obvious?" She asks anxiously.

The half pinkette shakes her head hastily. "No one else has put two-and-two together. I'm the only one that knows you get explosively nervous in rather revealing attire in the company of boys. You play it fairly cool. Chill girl. Chill."

Lily groans and sits down. "I'm a wreck."

"No you are not!" Ariana cries, sitting down next to her. "Merlin, Margaret, you two are a perfect match for each other! Except for maybe James…."

It's hard for Ariana to get this out, but for the past few days it's been getting easier. The lies— saying that Remus likes her, she's getting over him, and that she supports them full-heartedly— are starting to sound like the truth. It scares her a little.

"First ew, with the whole Potter thing." She says and a shiver runs down her spine before she continues. "Also, how are we perfect for each other?"

"Well, let's see. You're both great in school, you can both be reserved but loud when you want to be, you're both sweet and funny…. Oh, and his calmness matches well with your occasionally explosive temper."

"Careful, or I'll think you're still into him." Jokes Lily, and Ariana laughs and oddly enough it's not as forced.

That scares her too. One might suppose that talking about Remus having a girlfriend, that's one of her good friends, has helped her move on and realize that the teen wolf **(Author's Note: ha ha)** doesn't really care for her. It's one of the darnedest things. Though she still harbors feelings for him….

"See? That's what I mean!" She says with genuine glee. "Remus would be lucky to date someone like you."

Lily smiles. "Thanks Ariana. I'm glad you're not mad at me."

They hug and seconds later hear a distant pop.

"That should be him!" Squeals Lily. "Remus said that Mr. Potter would bring him by Side-Long Apparation. You go meet him, I have to go in to make sure the snack are out."

Ariana nods and feels her stomach flip at the idea of a certain fellow Gryffidor seeing her like this before she runs around the side of the house where the gate is. She nearly stumbles when she sees three handsome guys in their swimsuits. So, with slightly flushed cheeks she keeps herself from licking her lips rather seductively.

"Damn, Ari." Says Sirius giving a cat call— the 'wert whirl' sound when someone whistles— as he checks her out from head to toe. She looks like she came out of one of those hipster magazines… minus the glasses. "If I knew you'd look this hot; I wouldn't even bothered with Kitty Kat."

It's his nickname for Katerina Romanova.

"Wow." She says unimpressed since she's not happy Sirius is here. "Did you come up with that yourself? Because the clever bus did not pick you up."

James and Remus snicker as Sirius just stares at her. For the first time in so long she feels this uncomfortableness when a guy stares too long. Well, Sirius can be considered a man whore… perhaps that's it.

She lets James and Remus in, stands before the gate, and semi closes it. It causes the Marauders inside the backyard to exchange a look between them; James' is full amusement and Remus' is a little worried.

"What are we twelve?" Sirius says with a teasing smile.

"One of us is." She says a little playfully and then says the next question more seriously. "If I let you in, will you promise to obey the owner of this house?"

"No." Sirius scoffs, ever the rebel.

"Come on, Black, you and James aren't even supposed to be here. Plus, this is an important day for both Lily and her sister. No entry if you don't promise. It's my way or no way." She says giving him a look that says 'I'm the boss ass bitch'.

"Yes. Azalea sure." He says with a forced smile and a slightly sarcastic tone to him.

"Then by all means, come in." She says with a coy smile.

"Thank you m'lady." Sirius says, bowing for her.

James and Remus smirk and pat him on the back. They both know that this is his normal behavior when he's got a crush or is in lust. They also know for a fact that Sirius isn't going to abide by Lily or Ariana's rules.

"Where's Evans?" James asks anxiously.

He tried once more to tame his hair before he arrived, but it proved fruitless. It just would not cooperate.

"Ariana, is he here?" Lily calls from inside the house.

Ariana looks around alarmed. Uh-oh, she and the boys are going to be caught.

"Erm – yeah, he's out here!" She shouts back. "You two, hide behind those bushes." She hisses to James and Sirius. "When I give you your cue, come out and—"

But they run off before she can finish. Right as they hide, Lily comes out and runs over to hug Remus.

"Good to see you too, Lily." He laughs trying to keep out the nervous tone to it. "You look great."

"Thanks, you too." He gives Ariana a meaningful look and she understands it. "How's your summer been?"

Lily grimaces. "Long. Petunia is actually going crazy—"

"SURPRISE!"

Lily closes her eyes. No. It cannot be who she thinks it is. She must be dreaming… or more likely having a nightmare. Please do not be real… please do not be…

Without warning, she is lifted off the ground and hugged by someone incredibly muscular.

"Put me down!" Screams Lily flailing all of her limbs.

"Ah, Evans, haven't you missed me?" Teases James as he puts her on the ground again.

She glares at him and straightens her bathing suit out. Wrinkles are not good in a bikini. That is when James notice how gorgeous she looks right now. His mouth would have probably dropped to the ground if his jaw was not hinged on.

"Nice bikini Evans." Smirks James, ogling at her.

Lily crosses her arms defiantly and looks accusingly at Ariana. This was obviously her repayment for inviting Remus without the half pinkette's knowledge.

"Put your eyes back in their sockets, Potter." Snaps Lily.

James promptly turns his gaze somewhere else and Sirius smirks.

"Whipped." He mutters to James, who smacks him upside the head.

Lily and Remus sigh. Ariana giggles.

"Come on, it's best to avoid my sister and her dull as nails boyfriend…." She suggests, leading them to the garden. She turns to look at James and Sirius who are still in the same spot staring at her. "Unless you want to be put on a stake and burned."

The two of them guffaw but realize after that Lily is not kidding. However, once James, Remus and Sirius see this Dursley bloke looks like they have to hide their faces in their hands to control their laughter.

"Remus, you might want to cool it." Hisses Lily under her breath. "People are staring."

Controlling himself again, Remus says in a teasing tone. "Tell me then, Miss Perfect, what was your initial reaction when you first met him?"

Lily smirks. "I knew if an army tank was ever to come and attack me, I had someone big enough to hide behind."

Remus looks puzzled. "What's an army tank?"

So Lily spent the remaining time until the outside on the stone bench explaining the army and then the navy to Remus. It's like talking to a five year when introducing Muggle stuff to un-knowledgable wizard.

"Cool." He says. "It's kind of like the Order against Voldemort."

Lily nods. "In a nutshell, yes. Don't ask, Muggle expression."

Remus grins and turns to see James running towards them.

"Guess what, Moony?" He says excitedly. "I think I just picked up some Muggle chicks. Hey Evans, what does it mean when a Muggle asks 'can I have your number'?"

Lily fell into a hysterical state of giggles. She knows James could not help not knowing what a phone is, but she has never actually been asked by a teenager what it is. Remus tells Lily he's going to get a snack whilst secretly winking at James; the fellow Marauder understands. Once Lily got over her laughing she responds.

"When a Muggle asks for your number she means your _phone _number." Explains Lily. James continues to look at her blankly and then Lily asks. "Don't you take Muggle studies?"

James smirks. "That doesn't mean I _l__isten_."

"Then why'd you bother taking it?"

"I don't know, everything else looks boring."

"Fair enough. What did you tell the girl then?"

"I asked her what the hell she was talking about and if she belonged to an insane asylum." Replies James casually taking a seat.

Lily says. "I don't think you're picking up any girls today, Potter."

"Eh, the only girl I want is you anyway." He smirks. "Wait a second, are we having a conversation?"

His tone is playful. Her cheeks flush bright red in embarrassment and realization that they are in fact having a conversation without insults being thrown at each other.

"No. I'm just stalling for time…." She says defensively whilst straightening up to make it seem like she wouldn't stoop low enough to have a civilized conversation about James and his sexual endeavors and lack thereof. After a short pause she says. "Wh-where's Ariana and Black?"

"Nice. Avoiding the subject and all." James winks before he says with a smug tone. "They went off somewhere… probably the pool. If you ask me, once we get back to Hogwarts we should stuff them in a broom closet together."

"Eh, I don't see it happening. She could do better than him." Lily says looking unimpressed.

She has to make sure she does not slip that she knows Marlene's true feelings since she doesn't really have legitimate reason for them not to be together other than Sirius— in her opinion— being rather skanky….

A few minutes later the two meet Remus, Sirius and Ariana at the pool. They notice no one else except wizards are there. They also notice the half pinkette looks extremely agitated as she sits on the diving board and Sirius laughs at her. Lily and James witness her push him in the pool and they laugh too.

"What's wrong, Ariana?" Lily says dipping her feet into the water and James follows suit just as Sirius resurfaces.

"Do you like riddles? I do, that's why I'm starting this story with one. What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man?" She says in the most annoyed tone which only adds to the teens' laughter. Ariana continues. "No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute?" Her tone has not changed and they continue to laugh at her riddle/story. "Still nothing? Right, one more try. What's fat as fuck, stinks like shit and should be forced to use his own damn bench at a round picnic table? That's right, it's the man I sat next to and under on when I sat down to get some food."

They can't control their laughter; it's ridiculous. Even when Ariana is pissed off as hell she can't stop being hilarious: Remus, Sirius, Lily, and James swear they've broken at least five ribs laughing. It's like a disease that doesn't allow you to stop laughing.

"Oh Merlin!" Lily says. "Did you get caught under Vernon?!"

"I prefer to call him Vermin. Okay?" She says snapping her fingers before continuing. "As I sat the plane, I mentally high-fived myself for occupying the bench that no one else bothered to sit in. I was imagining all that extra room, when I was suddenly distracted by what appeared to be an infant hippopotamus located halfway down the yard. As he got closer, I was relieved to see that it wasn't a dangerous semi-aquatic African mammal, but a morbidly obese human being. However, this relief was short-lived when I realized that soon I will be lost somewhere underneath him."

Sirius interrupts her for a short second. "'Somewhere underneath him', eh? Petunia better watch out you might steal her man."

The Marauders and Lily laugh, if possible, harder and Ariana gives Sirius 'the evil eye' for that. She's already pissed off enough and Sirius just had to push it even farther; it's just apart of his _charm_.

"That's it. I'm done." She says standing up and throwing her hands into the air.

With that she dives into the pool and she's gone under the surface of the water. Lily, James, and Remus boo at Sirius for pushing her over the edge like that. It's all playful, of course.

"You know, when it comes to girls you actually dig, Padfoot, you suck." James teases.

"You're one to talk, Prongsie." Sirius retorts.

Ariana resurfaces and they all beg her to continue this story wondering how she ever escaped. At first the partial pinkette isn't going to continue as she slips her hair back and out of her face, but seeing as she doesn't want to be a buzz kill she complies… reluctantly.

"Soon after I managed to burrow into my seat, I caught what was to be the first of numerous fetid whiffs of body odor. His scent possessed hints of blue cheese and Mumbai slum, with nuances of sweaty flesh and human faeces sprayed with cologne- Eau No. Considering I was visibly under duress, I found it strange that no one offered any sort of help to free me from him. To be fair, it's entirely possible that none of them actually saw me." She says running a frustrated hand through her hair as they continue to laugh. "I tried to relocate myself without any assistance seeing as couldn't speak since my vocal chords were being crushed I tried jabbing him. That didn't do jack.

"It was then I realised that my fate was sealed. I tried to everything to get the attention of Jabba the Hutt and spent Merlin knows how long smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning. Thankfully, I was noticed by one person under layers of fat… and that was Black.

Imagine going out for dinner and a movie, only to have your night ruined by a fat mess who eats half your meal and then blocks fifty percent of the screen. Isn't that exactly the same as having someone who can't control their calorie intake occupying half your seat when you're trying to eat a damn snack? Of course it is, so that's why I'm demanding some sort of apology from him.

I'm also looking to be compensated for the physical pain and mental suffering caused by being enveloped in human blubber for however long from Vermin. My lower back is in agony and I'm most only able to swim with my right arm and leg as I'm yet to regain full use of my left side. If I don't recover completely, I'll have to say goodbye to my life long dream of becoming Air Guitar World Champion. If that occurs, he will pay."

She's now pouting with her arms crossed as she sits on the top step of the pool's shallow end. The others can't control themselves; Ariana has driven them to tears. She's, of course, still pissy. As the other finally begin to join in on swimming.

Sirius attempts to convince Ariana to join him in the hot tub. At first she tells him to go and that she's not in the mood, but eventually she says yes and joins him. Ariana has a secret agenda: she wants Lily and James to be alone together.

"You're friend is such a pig trying to woo Ariana when he has a girlfriend. How can you live with him?" Lily asks, disgusted.

James laughs, sending chills up Lily's spine for reasons unknown to her. His laugh is so melodious and light and airy, yet incredibly rich. The perfect balance.

"It's easy. I know all of his weaknesses and how to get him to shut up when I really want him to. No, Sirius is great. Always a laugh and when it comes down to it, is always there for me."

Lily smiles and realizes how close James and his friends are. She knows then probably to two most important things he values. Quidditch and friendship.

"Lily? Lily! LILY EVANS!" Cries James.

Lily's head snaps up.

"What?"

"You looked like you were leaving us for a moment there." Says James. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"What about?"

Lily shrugs. Then she gets a mischievous look on her face.

"Uh-oh." Says James apprehensively. "That look can mean nothing good. Either you have a brilliant plan or you're seriously constipated."

Lily laughs. "Don't worry, it's not the latter. I think it would be amusing though if we were to play the question game."

"What's the question game?"

"It's the game where we go back and forth and ask each other various questions." Explains Lily. "It can be about family, friends, enemies, etc."

James nods. "All right, you go first."

"Bad choice there, my dearie." Says Lily in a mythical voice. James chuckles. "Okay, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you at school?"

James blanches. This game is going to be the end of him.

"Err – I'm not so sure you want to know." He murmurs.

He is not so sure he wants to tell either.

"Oh, come on! Just tell me, it can't be that bad!"

James sighs and then grins. "Okay, you asked for it. In our third year at Hogwarts, it was our first Hogsmeade trip and Sirius and I were walking down the street when we decided to climb up a tree and chase a squirrel."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, well we got up the tree and was on a branch when the squirrel jumped to the next and our pants got hooked onto the branch."

Lily already has tears in her eyes from laughing.

"Well we were just hanging there yelling for help when who comes along but your old buddy Snape and his two friends Avery and Mulciber." Says James darkly. "They, of course, found the whole thing very amusing and decided it would be even more comical if they vanished our clothing."

Lily gasps and James grins.

"So here we are, hanging for dear life on a tree, no clothes covering us at _all_ and then the squirrel comes back and decides it'd be amusing to steal my glasses, leaving me blind as a bat. So it steals my glasses and I book it down Hogsmeade wearing nothing but skin, chasing that squirrel and occasionally running into trees." Finishes James. "Eventually McGonagall saw me though and took pity on me. She got my glasses back and Sirius and I got a month's detention for running around nude and climbing trees."

Lily erupts into a fit of giggles. "You're right! I didn't need to know that! Ever!"

James grins his infamous grin. "All right, my turn. Who was the first person you ever snogged?"

Now it is Lily's turn to blanch.

"I can't say."

"Oh come on, I told you that story which I was dead set against doing, mind you." Smirks James. "You at least owe me the decency of telling me who you kissed first."

"_Potter_, I really can't." Begs Lily.

She knows James can be an arrogant arsehole most of the time but the truth will hurt him. Plus, she doesn't want to ruin one of two civilized conversations they've ever had. And the first one was earlier today!

"Does Ariana know?"

Lily shakes her head.

"I refused to tell anyone. They think it's someone else."

"Who do they think it is?"

"Rhett Davies."

James spits out his orange soda. "_Rhett Davies?"_

"They _think_ that's who it is." Implores Lily. "I swear to God I'll hunt you down and castrate you if you tell them differently."

James crosses his legs nervously. "Why are you so against—?"

"Because you'll hate it, Potter." Says Lily frustratedly. "And quite frankly, it's none of your business."

"My story was technically none of your business either." Points out James.

"Eh, technicalities."

James sighs. This is going down hill fast.

"I'm sorry, Potter, I just can't tell you." Says Lily. "If I tell anyone it will hurt more than one person."

"I'm sure you're just exaggerating—"

Lily slams down her glass of cherry soda. She's had enough she's at her breaking point.

"Fine! You want to know who it is? I'll tell you. It was Remus Lupin!"

James' world stopped spinning. _Lily_ snogging _Remus?_ His best mate, Remus? Remus _Lupin? _What had the world come to? The world for sure must be ending. It was the sign of the apocalypse. Especially after the promise he made; even though that incident happened years ago before promises.

James grins. "I'm sorry, I must have had a misconception. I thought I heard you say your first snog was Remus."

Lily sighs. "You heard right."

James jumps up. "_Remus?"_

"Gazuntite. Says Sirius, sauntering over to them and sitting down on the diving board. "So, what are we talking about?"

"We're talking about how Lily's first snog was _Remus_." Sneers James.

He cannot believe that Remus never told them this. He knows that James likes Lily! Sure it takes him awhile to be truthful like about him secretly trying to hook him up with his dream girl.

"Potter!" Shrieks Lily.

Thankfully, the music is so loud no one could hear her. Sirius looks shocked.

"Remus?" He says incredulously. "_Remus Lupin_ of _Hogwarts_?"

"How many other Remus Lupin's do you know who go to Hogwarts." Asks Lily coldly.

Sirius shrugs. "I'm just checking. Which year was it?"

"Seriously, when did my personal life become your guys' business?"

"The second you let loose that you snogged our best mate." Sneered James.

"Best mate?" Says Remus, walking up to them followed by Ariana noticing the distress. "Wouldn't happen to be talking about me, now would you?"

"Indeed." Snarls James. "How come you never told us that you and Evans did the deed?"

Remus' eyes widen and he looks at Lily shocked. Ariana's expression is similar to his, but she quickly recomposes herself and _pretends_ not to care. Not before Sirius catches a glimpse of her expression.

"Now hold it right there, Potter! That's a load of bull." Says Lily. "You practically made me tell you who my first kiss was. This is really your—"

"Whoa!" Says Ariana. "I thought you said Rhett Davies was your first kiss! Man, you must get more arse than a toilet seat."

No one laughed. Her attempt failed. Points for effort I suppose.

"She lied than, didn't she?" Jeers James.

"I lied because if I told you the truth I knew _this_ would happen!"

"How could you possibly have known this would happen?"

"Because it's _you,_ Potter! You always harp on about the most ridiculous things! For instance, why do you think no boy will ask me out anymore except Remus? Because the ones who did got run off by _you!"_

"Oh, and all this time I thought it was just because you were ugly." Smirks James.

He has crossed the line _again_. Ariana, Remus, and Sirius gasp. For someone who cares about Lily, he sure has a poor way of showing it.

Lily looks like she has been slapped in the face. Tears fill up in her eyes after hearing something she always feared. How could he say such a horrible thing to her even if it was the truth?

"Lily dear, could you please serve the dipping? I'm getting a headache." Says her Mum, walking up to the five of them.

Lily takes one look at her mother and runs into the house.

"Was it something I said?"

**~Author's Note: Yeah, a fairly longish update, but I posted an incredibly** **_long_** **chapter.**

**Reviews are much appreciated. :—)**


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance