Harry Potter 1. Totally Boredomness!

"I'm bored."

"I'm bored."

"I'm bored."

"And I'm a snowboard!"

"Sirius, that was so not funny." Said James, sitting up on his couch, looking at his best friend.

"Well, that was a kinda boring discussion." Sirius pointed rightly out.

The four best friends, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were lying around in Remus's mothers living room, bored too hell. Mrs. Lupin was visiting her sister in Scotland so the Marauders had the house for them self. They had done absolutely nothing the whole summer vacation and it had stopped to be fun to lay the whole day on the balconies, talking, reading and sun tanning like girls.

"What can we do?" sighted Remus. He laid on the lazy-boy, his legs on the seat, his head dangling down to the floor.

"I don't know." Peter answered and continued building a card-castle.

After about two more hours of complete boredom the doorbell rang. The four boys got extremely excited and all jumped and ran to the door.  
Remus opened. On the doorstep stood Lily Evans.

"Hey, guys!" she said cheerily, stepping inside and closing the door. The Marauders just looked at her. She was the least person the had expected to come over.

"Weren't you supposed to be in France?" asked James.

"Is that how you say hi to your girlfriend after not have seen her for one month?"

She replied, pretending to be offended.

"No, of course not, sorry sweetie" James added quickly, walking over to the red head, hugging her and kissing.

"I missed you..." Lily whispered.

"I missed you too." James replied into her ear. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Okay lovebirds. If you aren't going to stop right here, I suggest that you will get your self a room." James turned around and stuck his tongue out in Sirius's way.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" Lily asked, taking of her jacket.

"Nothing" All the boys answered.

"Sounds fun" She said sarcastically, walking into the living room.

" How about you? " Remus asked, "Why aren't you in France?"

"Oh, I got bored on hanging around with Petunia. The only thing she seemed to want to do was lying on the beach. My parents liked that, too. I've got all the tan I need," James looked at her and grinned, "so I decided to come here and try and have some fun." Lily looked around in the living room, which was full of books, magazines about Quidditch, cards and empty food and drink wrappings.

"Looks like some people were a little bit bored, ehh?" She said while scanning the area.

"Er, well, it isn't so much going on in the world, and all our parents are busy, and-"

"WE'RE BOERED TO HELL!" James cut out Remus.

"Whoa, okay…" Lily said, "Why don't you do something fun?"

"Well, we would do that if we would have something fun to do!" Sirius snapped back. The room was quiet for a while, until;

"Hey! I've got an idea!" Lily said.

"What?" the Marauders asked unanimously.

"What about we go to the city, rent a hotel room and just, have fun!"  
The boys exchange disapproving glares.

"Oh, come on!" Lily begged, "you haven't got anything better to do! We could go the cinema, drive a car, go to the swimming-pool and stuff like that?"

"Well..." Remus said, smiling slightly, "I haven't seen a movie for twelve years, that could be fun..."

"Yeah" Peter agreed

"What's a cinema?" Sirius asked

"You'll see if you'll come." Lily said slyly

"Oh, all right, then!" James said, waving his hands above his head in surrender.

"Whoo-hoo!" said Lily, punching Sirius in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" He said hurtly, massaging his arm.  
Lily coughed something that sounded suspiciously much like 'Sissy'.  
Sirius grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled upwards

"Ow, ow, ow! Okay, I give up! I GIVE UP!" Lily screamed, making James jump.  
When she had gotten over the pain in hear head she ordered the boys to go packing. They all mumbled something in agreement; James, Sirius and Peter flooed home and Remus went upstairs.  
Meanwhile, Lily sat and read a Quidditch magazine.

'This does defiantly belong to James.' She thought and smiled. The pages were all doodled out. Some articles were circled and he had marked notes to him self;

'Whoa! Try this on the Slytherin chasers, hee hee...', 'Cool! Show this to Padfoot...' and so on.  
After just ten minutes James and Sirius reappeared. The were each carrying small bags

"Do you really want me to believe that this is all you need for at least one week?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah," James said, raising one eyebrow. "We have toothbrushes, a pair of jeans, sweaters, clean socks and underwear." He counted on his fingers

"You're seriously saying you'll get on with only these things?" She said surprised.

"Yeah, and we have a few personal items, also." Sirius said gleefully

"Boys..." Lily muttered.

"Okay, so, you're here, I'll go home and get my stuff, okay?" she announced and stood up.

"Yeah, yeah." They answered, both now reading the magazines.

"Jeez..." Lily sighted and walked to the fire place, took a handful of greenish dust, threw it into the flames, mumbled something to her self and disappeared.  
Sirius and James were in a middle conversation about the Wronski feint when Remus entered the room. He, too, was only carrying a small bag and a backpack.

"Where's Lily?" He asked and sat down

"She went to collect her stuff." James said

"She'll probably bring her whole house..." Sirius said and rolled his eyes.  
They continued to discuss the Wronski Feint until Peter arrived.  
His mother had, apparently, been home. He was carrying a big suitcase, a backpack and two plastic bags

"Argh ..." He said grumpily, "She acts as though I'm going to be away for like, a year!" He threw his luggage away and slumped down on the lazy-boy.

The other snickered lightly and then continued their conversation.


	2. Da Journey Beginns

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the caracters... Shame, though. I would have nothing against having Remus and Sirius in my possesions ; P**

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"I'll bet Lily brings more luggage than any of us, even Peter." James said from behind his magazine.  
After fifteen more minutes he was proved right. Lily Evans arrived with two big suitcases, a small backpack, a beauty-box and a purse.

"Whoa..." said Remus, "Did you bring your bed too?" Lily shot him a deadly glance.

"I need every single one of these things, thank you very much." The boys all understood that this was the end of discussion.

"Well, shall we go then?" Sirius said lively and jumped up from his seat.

"Yeah- but wait," James said and looked at his beloved Lily, "how are we going to get there? " By the magical or Muggle way? "

"Well, first we've started acting like Muggles, why not take it the whole way?" Remus asked.

"So, how by Muggle ways are we gonna get there?" Lily agreed.

"I KNOW! We'll use Snowmobiles! " Sirius cried excitedly out.  
The others gave him a look.

"What?"

"What about... train? At least we've traveled by a train before," Peter suggested, ignoring Sirius.

"Sounds good to me" James said and stood up.

"Okay, then it's just to get going'!" Sirius said and walked out of the house, muttering something about snowmobiles still being more fun than trains. Remus wrote a note to his mum and locked the door.

The journey to the train station went on quite good. Sirius nearly got hit by a car only once (witch was a big improvement from his previous relationships with cars), Remus realized that he had forgotten his lucky underwear at home so he had to spring back and get them. Meanwhile Peter, James and Sirius ate three hot-dogs each and Lily almost got a nervous breakdown ("WE'RE GONNA MISS THE TRAIN!").  
But in the end they were all sitting in a train on their way to the city.

"Okay," said Lily, who had automatically become the leader of the group on this trip and looked at the boys, "how much money do we have?"

"Mum gave me a bit." Said Peter and put his money on the table in front of him.

"Yeah, I've got some of my sparing." Remus said and also laid his on the table.

"Okay, I got quite much from mom and dad before I left. James and Sirius, do you have any Galleons?"

"Yeah, but where can we switch them into Muggle moneys?" Sirius asked, "Is there any other place than Gringotts?"

"Yes," Lily answered in a 'this-is-a-thing-you're-supposed-to-know voice', "there are in few banks. You just have to tell the staff that you need to get 'Loconizics' moneys and they'll give you Galleons."

"What!? Give you?" Sirius blurted out.

"No, idiot, you have to pay for it..." Lily answered in the same tone you would use on a three year old. " You see, the Muggle bank staff think that there is some small country called Loconica or something and that Galleons are their money."

"So, we're gonna stay on a hotel, right?" said James while stroking Lily's hair.

"Yeah, somewhere down town, I want to go shopping." Lily mumbled.

Sirius looked horror struck, "Sho-shopping? Why, that's not necessary?"

"I need new jeans and dress robes." Lily answered and snuggled into James's arms.

"Oh, Lily! Please, don't say I need to come...!" Sirius begged and put on a very convincing puppy-dog eyes.

"No, I can't force you," she said. James sighed in relief, "but I can, on the other hand, do that to you." Lily added and looked at her boyfriend. James sighed again, lamely this time.

"Why don't you three have girlfriends?" she asked and looked at Sirius, Peter and Remus, "than I could go shopping with them."

"What do you know about our love life?" Sirius asked offended.  
Remus turned brightly red. Lily sat up and raised her eyebrows.

"Well, after hanging around with you for one year and been stalked by one of you for six years, I thought I knew you. Clearly not, do tell!"

"Well, I'm not denying that I've got no girlfriend." Sirius said.

"No, you can't date the same girl for more than a week, then you get bored and hit on a another." James said.

"True, true." Agreed Sirius and nodded.

"Well, who of you is it then?" Lily asked impatiently.  
Remus had now turned scarlet. "Aha.." Lily said and smirked.

"Yes, Remus has, indeed, got a girlyfriend!" Sirius cried out. Remus smacked his shoulder.

"So... Who's the lucky one!?" Asked Lily and smirked.

"Her... her.." stuttered Remus. He now looked as though all the blood in his body has rushed to his face.

"Oh, come of it Remus! You don't have to be ashamed, look!" James said and kissed Lily passionately.

"I know, I just... her name is-" He took a deep breath, "Her name is Carmen."

"What! Carmen Quid?" Lily said surprised. Remus nodded.

"And she hasn't said anything to me! How long have you two been playing Romeo and Julia?" Lily asked and leaned again against James chest.

"Romeo and Julia?" asked Sirius confused.

"Never you mind," Remus answered him; " two months."

"Two months! Why didn't you say anything!" Lily blurted out.

" Just…Because." Remus answered. Lily shook her head.

"He's weird, I know." James said and kissed Lily's hair.

There was a peaceful silence for a while. Then Sirius's stomach gave a great rumble.

"I'm hungry." He moaned.

"Me too." Remus, James and Peter agreed.

"There's just ten minutes to go." Said Lily soothingly.

"Good."

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**A/N: Hey! I updated the chapters, just som small changes, mostly grammar and spelling. I hope that chapter three'll be up soon, my computer crashed and I don't have my screen (I'm in the lap top now), so; soon means just as soon as possible. Thank you guys who have reviewed, it really means a lot to me, big hugs to you!**

**Ta,ta,  
Jen**


	3. SB Hotel

**Disclaimer: Not one of these characters are mine... I mean, how could you possibly think that JK would be sitting here posting such a lame story on the internet? Get a grip on yourself, people!**

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Chapter 3 - JB Hotell

When the train stopped Sirius rushed out and left the others to carry the bags. Well, Sirius's, James and Remus's bags were no problems. It was Lily's and Peters they were having trouble with.

"Holy cow, what did your mum put in this?" James asked Peter while struggling to move Peters suitcase out of the way for a very old, wrinkled and grumpy looking lady, who had apperantly thought that James was talking to her.

"Teenagers..." the women mumbled and shoot James a deadly glance, "...Have no respect for adults..."

"Wrinkles..." James mumbled back and hurryed away as fast as the suitcase would allow him. The woman froze in an angry shock, then she strunted away.

"Sirius!" Lily called worrydly and looked around, "Where is he?" she asked and looked at the other boys.

"Guess five times." Remus said and grinned. Lily looked around again and spotted Sirius tanding in a line, looking extreamly inpatiant, waiting for a hot-dog.

"Ohr, Sirius..." she said frustrated, "Here, James, take this for me..." She handed James her luggage and stormed away in Sirius's direction. Remus, James and Peter did not hear the entire conversation, but they understood that Sirius did not want to leave without his hot-dog. Than Lily put on a sly face and said something to him. Sirius's face lit up and he allowed her to lead him away.

"Whoa, Lily! Congratulations, this is probably the first time that someone can controll Sirius's when he's hungry!" James said astonished.

"She promised hamburgers..." Sirius said with a dreamy look, "I've read about them in Muggle studys, they look delicios..." You could allmost see the drool coming from his mouth.

"A what?" James asked and looked at Lily for an explaination.

"You heard him," she answared, oviously happy with her self, "who's up for McDonald's?"

"Are we there yet?" Sirius asked for what seamed the 1000th time.

"Yes!" Lily answared much to Sirius's surprise and glee.

The taxi driver, a small man with thin, black hair, looked as thought he was more than happy to get rid of those weird teenagers that kept talking about things he did not understand a word in.

Lily paid the driver when they got to McDonald's and then got out of the car. It took a while to get the four boys and the suitcases into the restaurant, but in the end she'de got them planted at a table and she and Remus went to order.

"Yes, I'll have..." Remus looked at the menu and made up his mind, " ten double cheeseburgers, five big bowls of fries, four big colas, one sugar-free, extra maio, aaand two chocolate chips cookies."

Lily and the waitress gaped at him. Remus nodded towards the waitress and she started to get the food.

"Ten. Double. cheeseburgers?!" Lily asked him with wide eyes eyes, "fries, coke AND cookies! We are five, not fifteen!"

"Sirius is hungry. James is hungry. And I and Peter are hungry. We need food." Remus said and smirked.

"Er, miss? Can I take your order?" The waitress asked Lily while handing Remus one huge bag full of food.

"Yes, yes... I'll have one chicken burger, salad and sprite, please." She answared. The waitress looked relifed to have a normal order this time and brought Lily her food quickly.

When Lily and Remus arriwed at the table it was like walking into a heard of hungry wolves. James jumped up and grabbed the bag Remus was carrying. When he got to the table he, Sirius and Peter digged into it and each grabbed two burgers. It was silence while they chewed like they were getting payd for it, then they realaxed in their seats and continued eating.

Lily looked at them with disgust. Than she sat down with them and elegantly ate her hamburger with a knive and a fork. Remus joined the boys.

After the firs burger the boys calmed down a bit.

"Wow, Moony, this tastes GREAT!" James said and reached for another hamburger.

"I colg you soo, vish schuff ish yammy!" Sirius agreed with his mouth full of fries.

"Sirius, please don't talk with food in your mouth." Lily said.

"Yes, Mommy.." Sirius murmured in his hamburger.

"Did you say something?" Lily asked with mock politeness.

"No, no." Sirius answared brightly.

After 20 minutes all the food had disappeared from the table.

"You've got to be kidding me?" Lily asked and looked at the empty food wrapings spred across the table. "You finished _ten_ hamburgers?"

The boys just smiled proudly and nodded.

"Well, time to go," Lily sayd and stood up. The boys threw the trash in the bag and put it in the bin. When they got outside again Lily got a taxi and asked the driver to get them down town. After fifteen minutes the four Marauders and Lily were standing in front of a big hotell.

"Wow, we're gonna sleep here?" Peter asked and looked up at the humongus hotell.

"If it is a free room, mind you." James added.

When Sirius saw the name of the hotel he gasped for air.

"We have got to stay here!" he announced proudly.

"Sirius, just because the hotel is called 'S.B. Hotels', it doesn't mean it's named after you." Remus pointed out.

"Sure it does!" Sirius answared deffensively, "Just like that candy factory and the star are named after me! The world simply loves me, face the facts Remus and don't be jealous."

The other just exhanged looks but prefared to keep quiet.

"Now, I think it'll be best that I go in and see if they have a free room, you wait here." James said and made his way up the white stairs that lead to the fancy oak doors. Remus, Lily, Peter and Sirius stood in silence for a couple of minutes.

"I'm hungry."

"You are jokind, right?" Lily asked and looked at Sirius.

"What? No. Stop looking at me like that! Moony, make the evil woman stop looking at me! Hey, Moooneyh? Remus Lupin! Not you too! Stop it you two! Wormtail? PETER! You have all betraid me. Well, I'll just look at you strangely, too! Hahh, eat that, suckers!"

And that was how James found them.

"Er… Guys?" he asked the two staring teams.

"Yes, darling?" Lily answared without taking her eyes of Sirius.

"If you people'd like to move inside the hotel, you can, but if you prefere to continue staring, that's fine with me"

"We got a room?" Sirius asked and moved his gaze onto James, who nodded.

"Hahh! You losed!," Remus announced and highfived Lily and Peter.

"Did not! The game was over!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

James just waved and smiled at the staff who stared at the bickering group while they made their way up to the room.

……..

"James? Is this the onley room they had?" Peter asked. The teens stood in the, actually,in the kitchen, of their hotel room.

"Well, yes. Come on, it's allright?"

"Mmm… It's just.. small?"

And that was the only word that could describe the room. Small. When you walked into it you stood in the tiny kitchen that was attached to even tinyer living room. There was a kookingmachine in the kitchen, one table and a small window. In the living room there was a sofa, a small TV and a yellow, old matress. The doors to the right led to a bedroom. In there was crammed a bed and a small wardrobe. The left doors led to a bathroom. The bathroom, unlike everything else in there, was big. There was a humongous bathtub, two sinks, a toilet and a shower.

"Oh,come on!" Lily cried out when she saw the bathroom. "The bathroom is huge, but all other bits of this thing are tiny! Couldn't the arcitects make the bathroom a little bit smaller and the other things a litte bit bigger? "

But after two hours everything was settled. Lily ignored the boys protest and took the one bedroom. She unpacked her things and placed them neatly in the wardrobe. Sirius and Remus went down to get two extra matresses, and after a huge fight, James got the sofa.

"Okey, now I'm REALLY hungry," Sirius announced to the group who was gathered in the livingroom.

"Me too," Agreed the rest of them in unusion. So, our little group went downstairs in the lobby again in a search for food.

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**A/N:**

**Oh, God do I suck... I haven't updated since the year 1704 and when I do I give you this... Sorry. If you like this... or hate, please review.**

**Love, Jen**


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Harry Potter, Humor