Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter all characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. I also do not own this song.

Pairings: Harry/Severus, past Ron/Hermione.

Warning: Male homosexual relationships, fluff, slight angst.

AN: I thought it was time I tried a S/H story, I just hope that Severus is in character.

**It's my life.**

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive

"Maybe it isn't enough anymore!" Harry shouted at Hermione, the infuriating witch standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, looking like Molly Weasley the second.

"She loves you, and I thought that you loved her back. Have you been lying to her all this time?" she shouted back an angry flush creeping up her neck towards her face and fizzy hair. "She loves you, loves you for Harry Potter, isn't that what you wanted, for someone to love you, someone to have a family with?" Her arms flailed as she gestured with her hands to try and get her point across.

"Hermione, it's none of our business," Ron told her bravely from the doorway. "If Harry wants to leave then let him!"

"Of course it's our business, Harry should at least explain to Ginny why he's leaving her. Isn't it cowardly to walk out on her while she's at work?" Hermione fumed.

"Why should I explain when for the last four months she's been sleeping around behind my back with every man she can find?!"

"I don't want to know Harry, it doesn't concern me whether you can satisfy your girlfriend or not. That isn't what I was asking! I –"

"For Merlin's sake, get out, I can't talk to you when you're like this! I don't butt into your relationship with Ron."

"Harry she needs you –"

"Do you believe Ginny's happiness to be more important than Harry's? After everything he has been through don't you think he should put himself first for once?" A drawling voice came from the open doorway.

"Severus…" Harry said softly. "I thought I told you not to come."

The dark man muttered something that sounded like 'foolish brat' and walked other to stand next to Harry in a united stand.

"Severus?" Hermione practically shouted, while Ron looked on curiously. "So it's 'Severus' now. Is this why you're leaving Ginny? To be with him?" She spat the last part vehemently.

"We're just friends," Harry said softly, grabbing more clothes from the wardrobe mostly just to keep him hands busy do that he didn't feel too tempted to strangle the bushy-haired girl.

He heard Severus sigh before all of his things were flying towards him from all angles packing themselves into his bags.

He looked up to see that Severus wouldn't meet his eyes most likely hurt by the way Harry brushed off the chance of a relationship between them. Severus had been trying to bring Harry around to his way of thinking but Harry wouldn't even think about the possibility of the pair being together until he was single.

Hermione made a noise that made Harry think that she doubted the statement highly. But he really didn't care anymore.

"Ok then, if 'Severus' isn't the reason then what is?" Hermione asked rudely.

"Hermione," Ron hissed, not believing that his girlfriend was acting this way towards their best friend.

"Why do I have to explain myself to you? The only person I should be talking to about this is Ginny. You are meant to be my best friends why can't you just accept me the way I am?" Harry finished sadly grabbing his now packed bags.

"Harry, if you explain it to us then maybe we would be able to understand and accept it. This is so unlike you, I don't unders –"

"You never have." Harry stated hotly. "The whole time I have been friends with you it's as if you thought I was somebody else. Harry Potter, best friends with Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, Auror-to-be, a respectable boy who will obviously one day marry Ginny Weasley, his best friend's little sister and spend the rest of his life pretending to be something he's not."

"I can't pretend anymore, I can't do it to myself or Ginny," Harry said shrinking his bags and placing them into his pocket.

Harry, think about this rationally, wait it out a while and work on your relationship, it'll all work out if you just try!" Hermione told him in a knowing voice.

"But I don't want it to work out!" Harry shouted, growing angrier by the second. "I just want my life back, the one where I make decisions for myself and am able to be who I truly am. Ever since I got with Ginny she has been ordering me around, spending my money and flaunting my fame. I'm sick of it. The year I had after Hogwarts without her was wonderful. I want it to go back to that again. I want to be free, to be my own person."

"Harry," Hermione said in what sounded to Harry like a warning voice.

"No," he said back. "I want to be happy. I don't want to be resigned into living a life that I just bear. I want to love my life, smile every minute of the day because I'm happy.

"I can't wake up every morning for the rest of my life next to somebody who I know doesn't love me."

"But she does Harry," Hermione insisted. "I know she loves you, she did before she even met you –"

"And that's the problem. She loves the Boy-who-lived. Not me, plain old Harry. To her I'm this hero, who managed to kill someone without even lifting a finger, I was one year old for god's sake and she expects to me carry on saving and killing people. Be an Auror so that I am continuously in the press. I saved her in her second year, and that's all she can see, and it's all she'll ever see.

"She doesn't understand me, and she doesn't have the time for me either. If I've had a bad day and just want to off load she couldn't care less she just starts talking about something else over me like a new robe she's seen and wants money from me to buy."

"You should have come to us, mate," Ron said sadly, now understanding everything his friend has had to put up with.

"When will you find time for me in your busy schedule, between becoming an Auror, your relationship with Hermione and managing to squeeze in time to see your family? There's no space for me to fit into for a couple of hours talking."

Ron closed his eyes tightly, he had been neglecting his friendship with his best friend, "Is that how you and Severus came about?" he asked understanding dawning.

"I can talk to him in a way I can with no other person I've ever met in my life. It's as if we were meant to…" Harry stopped as if feeling he could not finish the sentence.

"Be together." Severus finished for him.

"I love Ginny, but as a sister. Especially after the Basilisk incident, but it only seemed to confirm to her that I was a hero, unbeatable. But the worse thing was that I couldn't tell her she was wrong. I felt like I would be letting her down. Admitting my faults would disappoint her and she would realise that all along I wasn't what she thought I was.

"Every time I looked at her she reminded me of my mother and really I think that's what drew me to her in the beginning. But that made it worse, I couldn't talk to her like as I should have been able to, I couldn't get comfortable around her, I couldn't talk about my deepest secrets as I didn't want to be a failure to her

"But worst of all, I think I was using her as much as she was using me. I never cheated on her or anything I just… Your mum was the first person to ever really hug me, like a mother would. Subconsciously, I think I did every thing in my power to make sure I didn't lose that."

"Harry, I didn't realise…" Ron said while Hermione just stood there arms crossed over her chest sending glares at Severus who was sending them back just as harshly if not worse.

Hermione snorted. "Harry, get over yourself, I for one am sick of your whining!"

Ron stood open-mouthed gaping at Hermione's harsh words.

"Harry's whining," Severus said in a mock of the bushy-haired witch's voice. "Harry never whines, he never complains about anything! His arm could be hanging out of its socket and his brain falling out of a hole in his head and he would insist that he was fine, just so that he wouldn't make a fuss!" Severus said angrily, though there was a touch of affection for Harry lacing his voice as his eyes turned to look at the blushing man.

"He needs to learn that not everything revolves around the-boy-who-lived!" Hermione shouted sounding very much like a younger Draco Malfoy.

"Bloody hell Hermione! You sound like Malfoy, what is your problem?"

"She doesn't sound like Draco, not anymore-"

"What are you going to tell us next Harry? That you're friends with Malfoy now too?"

"Well, actually…"

"I don't believe this, where has my friend gone from school, when we were the Gryffindor Trio, against the Slytherins all the way, fighting Voldemort until the end?" Hermione asked confused, while Ron just stood there shaking his head. He was beginning to find out so many things about his girlfriend that he wished he'd known about before.

"He grew up, that's all, and maybe it's time you did too," Harry told her.

"Harry! Did you just-?"

"Hermione, leave him alone haven't you said all along that he didn't look happy, that he should do something with his life?" Ron asked his girlfriend. "Why don't you just let him do what he wants? No one has ever told you what to do before, so why do you believe that you have the right?"

"Harry, where are you going to stay?" Ron asked concernedly.

"With Severus, I'm going to be working in the apothecary with him until I can find my dream job and decide what I'm going to do with my life."

"Can I come and see you later maybe talk more without-" he nodded pointedly at Hermione, "her?"

Harry looked at Severus who nodded straight away; he knew how important friendship would be to Harry right now, even if Granger wouldn't be involved in that.

"Ron, how can you not care about every bad word Harry just said about your little sister?" Hermione asked aghast.

"Because it's all true! Fred, George and I have been talking about it for weeks; we couldn't understand how Harry could stand it. We were trying to get up the courage to speak to Harry in case he didn't realise what was going on."

"I can completely understand why you are sick of her Harry." Ron said. "Mum and Dad spoilt Ginny and they still do. She was the first girl to be born for generations. They treated her as if she was a precious gift from God, though they told us that all us children were, it was plain that Ginny was their favourite. She could do no wrong."

"You deserve to be rid of her Harry," Hermione stormed out of the room in a fit of rage, probably to go and warn Ginny of the situation. He looked pointedly at Severus.

"I'll go and get the Floo ready," he said with a nod to Ron.

"Severus is good for you Harry; he's good _to_ you, much better than Ginny was. I think he could make you happy."

"I hope so, Ron. He's been so good to me these past few months, just listening when I needed someone to talk to."

'_And holding you when you needed a shoulder to cry on.'_ Harry's mind supplied for him.

Ron smiled at the dreamy look on Harry's face. "Come on, you better go before Ginny turns up screeching like a banshee."

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted  
No silent prayer for the faith-departed  
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd  
You're gonna hear my voice  
When I shout it out loud


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter all characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. I also do not own this song.

Pairings: Harry/Severus, past Ron/Hermione.

Warning: Male homosexual relationships, fluff, slight angst.

AN: I thought it was time I tried a S/H story, I just hope that Severus is in character.

**It's my life.**

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just wanna live while I'm alive

"Where is he?" Ginny demanded her once beautiful face contorted in a picture of rage; needless to say it was not a good look on her.

"Who?" Ron asked innocently, continuing to pack his bag.

"What do you mean 'who?' you know exactly who I am talking about. Now, where is Harry?" Ginny practically shouted at her brother.

"I don't know Ginny, "

"Look, if I can just talk to him then I'll be able to talk some sense into him and he'll come back to me."

Ron shook his head and carried on packing.

"Don't you want him to be happy? Because he won't be unless he's with me!"

Ron stared at her in amazement.

"He doesn't know what he wants! But I know that he needs me to survive, he-"

"Ginny, he doesn't want you, just accept it. Move on; get yourself someone else to get your money from. You can't survive without him because you won't be able to buy your designer clothes and handbags!"

"That is not true!"

"Look Ginny, I don't want to stand here and argue with you all day, just go away if you really want to talk to Harry you'll have to find him yourself." Ron told her quietly.

"Fine, I will," she said before storming out of the room.

She walked back in 30 seconds later. "Where are you going?" she asked gesturing to the bag he was backing.

"Wow," he said amazed, "you actually noticed, Hermione left this morning tripping over my two already packed bags in the process, she was in such a rush. She just muttered something about needing to tidy up and it probably being my fault, before flooing away to the ministry."

"Of course I noticed," She told him as if he were stupid. "It's a bit hard not to."

He just ignored her and said, "I thought you were looking for Harry." he said this with a smirk on his freckled face.

"Oh, yes." she said distractedly before rushing out.

Ron snickered quietly to himself. He _accioed_ the rest of his bags and turned to the floo. He had lied to Ginny, he did know where his best friend was. In all honesty he was going to stay with Harry for a few days until he found somewhere more permanent to stay. Hermione would get home and realise that he had left her, just the way that Harry had left Ginny.

He couldn't believe the way she had acted towards Harry; he was supposed to be her best friend, so how could she talk to him with such disregard for his feelings? In the days following Harry's departure from his and Ginny's shared house, she had said some unbelievable things. Things that Ron could not ignore.

There was one more thing that he just could not ignore and that was the total change in the women he had fallen in love with at Hogwarts. He could not believe the difference. It was as if she was a different person. He could not stand to live with the person that Hermione had become. He just had to leave.

The night before during an argument where he had stuck up for Harry the whole way she had given him an ultimatum. The Hermione from their younger years would never have asked such a thing from him. She had told him to choose between her and Harry.

To that he had replied, "How can you expect me to choose?" but in his head he had actually finished that sentence differently, 'How can you expect me to choose you?'

How could she expect him to when she had become such a cruel and selfish person? Harry had always been kind and was forever putting other people first. He was the best friend Ron had ever had. He realised now, after his talk with Harry yesterday at a nice little restaurant that had opened after the war in Hogsmeade, that he had neglected his friend terribly. When he came to think about it, for a long time Harry had taken a back seat. Always just out of the picture when it came to the three of them.

No wonder he had decided to try a relationship with Ginny. He must have wanted to feel like he was still a part of the life they had at Hogwarts, when it was the three of them and sometimes Ginny or Neville tagging along. But Ron was going to change things now. He didn't want to lose Harry again like he had in their fourth year. He hadn't trusted Harry but now he knew better and he pledged to never let him down again.

He flooed to his destination and was greeted by Snape, "Weasley." the harsh talking man said to him.

Now, when he said that he was saying with Harry he actually meant that he was staying with Snape _and _Harry. As his friend was now living with the man it meant that he was staying in Snapes quarters at Hogwarts. The man had had the rooms enlarged, adding on another quest room for Ron while Harry had the room that was originally the only room for a guest.

Ron had been slightly surprised when he had found out that Harry was sleeping in the guest room and not with Snape in his room. Though to be honest he was very pleased about the fact as it meant that he would not hear any unwanted noises during the night.

"Hello, is Harry not around?" he asked pleasantly.

"No, he had to go to an appointment." Snape said distractedly, he was leading Ron to the other guest room and obviously seemed to have other things on his mind at the moment.

"Oh, I just thought that I would warn him that Ginny was pestering me over his whereabouts earlier."

"Oh." Snape said while looking at the clock on the mantel over the fireplace. Ron got the distinct impression that Severus wasn't actually listening to anything he was saying.

"Is everything okay?" he asked Snape.

"Harry said he was only going to be an hour but he's been gone nearly two now." Snape told him.

"I'm sure he's just been caught up or something." Ron said reassuringly.

"That's what I'm thinking, and who, Mr Weasley, right at this minute, wants to do nothing more than to talk to Harry?" Severus said wryly.

"Shit…" Ron said starting to pace. "Where was his appointment?"

"At St Mungos." Severus said curtly.

"Oh," Ron said with a sigh of relief. "Ginny would never think of looking for him there, who would?"

Severus just nodded; the redhead had a point.

The men stood waiting impatiently for Harry to arrive home. Ron could tell that Severus was worried fro Harry though he probably would never voice his feelings. Ron could tell by his actions, they gave him away easily.

The floo burst into life and Harry stepped out of it, Severus moved forwards to steady the brunette who still had not, and probably would never manage to gracefully travel the floo network.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Severus whispered into Harry's ear.

"Sorry, I got held up. Everything was fine with my check up but then I had to go and get some potions from the apothecary in Diagon Alley because they had run out at the hospital." Harry told them.

Severus, who had sighed in relief at Harry telling him everything was okay, snorted.

"So you didn't bump into anyone?" Ron asked offhandedly as Harry helped him to unpack his bag in the guest room.

Harry looked confused, Ron sighed before continuing, "Ginny was looking for you."

"Oh."

"Don't let her bother you; she'll get the message in a few days." Ron told him soothingly.

"I just don't want to hide, I have nothing to be ashamed of and Ginny needs to realise that I'm not going back to her."

"I just want you to be happy Harry." Ron said as he put his hand on his best friends shoulder.

"And I will be, as long as Ginny stays away from me and lets me get on with my life."

This is for the ones who stood their ground  
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down  
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake  
Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; all characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. I also do not own this song.

Pairings: Harry/Severus, past Ron/Hermione.

Warning: Male homosexual relationships, fluff, slight angst.

AN: I hope you like this chapter! Please review.

**It's my life.**

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just wanna live while I'm alive

Harry had gone for a check up at St Mungo's because of the splitting headaches that he kept getting, the potions seemed to be helping but the headaches hadn't disappeared altogether.

The healer had told him the headaches were most likely stress related, after hearing about Harry's life for the last couple of months. At first Harry had worried that it would be something more serious as he felt tired too. But the healer just told him that it was because of the stress put on his mental state. As soon as everything settled down he would be fine. Harry hoped so because he didn't think he could cope with feeling so down for much longer.

"Are you all right?" Draco asked from behind him. Harry was working in the apothecary, stacking shelves, serving customers, going to the suppliers, and occasionally re-learning potions skills. He had been surprised to find that he actually wasn't too bad at it when taught properly.

"Harry?" Draco asked again after getting no response. Harry had been working there for nearly a week now and he was also trying to find himself a new job in his spare time. Unfortunately, spare time wasn't something he had a lot of; mostly because he liked to keep busy. He was mostly succeeding, between Ginny, Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys (apart from Ron) who all wanted him to come to their weekly get togethers. Ron assured him that they just wanted to make sure he was all right and to let him know that the breakdown of his relationship with Ginny didn't change anything, he was still part of the family.

"Potter!" Draco shouted, finally getting Harry's attention.

Harry jumped before smiling sheepishly at the blonde. "Sorry, Draco. My head's all over the place at the moment."

He walked from the front of the shop, where he had been stacking shelves, over to where the blonde stood in the doorway to the back rooms. There were quite a few rooms, from the outside the shop looked tiny but in side it was huge. There were four rooms out back a potions lab, a storage room for ingredients, a storage room for finished potions and a room to relax in. This had lots of books in containing instructions for potions, but also had a television; one of the few Muggle things that Draco liked having around.

"I was asking you whether you were all right." Draco told him again. Harry walked over to his friend who led him out back and to the small sitting room.

They both sat down on the green sofa. "I'm fine. Ron asked me if I wanted to go to the Burrow this weekend. That'll be three weeks of him asking me and me turning him down. I don't know what to do. I know Ginny will be there and…"

Draco let Harry have a minute in silence before speaking, "You don't have to go if you don't want to." Draco told him as if it was the mot obvious thing in the world.

Harry rolled his eyes, but the other man continued. "You don't owe them anything. Just explain to Ron how you feel about the situation. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just being stupid. I should have explained it to Ron the first time he asked me."

"Shall we get going then?" Draco always went to Severus' house on a Wednesday evening to eat and that hadn't changed just because Harry was staying there. Even when the ex-Potion professor had allowed Ron to stay for a few days Draco had continued to come and meet with Severus. Though it had only been for one week so they hadn't had to endure each other for too long.

They both Flooed back to Snape's home, which was just outside of Wizarding London. It was a beautiful Victorian building, large and spacious with five bedrooms and three bathrooms. What the older wizard needed with all that space Harry couldn't even begin to fathom.

The two friends walked into the large open plan kitchen. Harry had been worried that the house would remind him of Grimmauld Place but it was nothing like the gloomy, dark house his godfather used to live in. It was the first house Harry had ever felt at home in, he could relax here. Not even his and Ginny's house had felt homely to him.

"How are you and Severus getting on?" Draco asked his friend. "He's not exactly the easiest person to live with."

"Fine," Harry told him. "He's been so good to me. But as soon as Ginny gets out of my flat I'll be moving back out."

Draco knew his godfather would be devastated. "Why? He's not that bad is he?"

"No, he's been great. I just don't want to impose any longer than I have too. He's such a private man and I know how much he likes to be alone to think."

Sometimes Harry was totally oblivious to everything around him, it was unbelievable. Draco changed the subject; it wasn't his place to tell Harry how Severus felt. "So what are we having for dinner tonight?"

He transfigured one of the hairs around the table into a sofa and sprawled out on it. Harry didn't know how the blonde could manage to sprawl gracefully. It must have been his genes because Harry knew that even if he practiced for ten years he would never be able to do it.

"I thought it would be fun to make something together," Harry said truthfully, well it was partially truthful, he thought it would be rather _funny _to watch as Draco tried to cook. Draco had seen his bad attempts at potions so Harry wanted his chance to be able to have a good laugh at Draco.

Harry found it amazing that at the age of twenty-five Draco had never cooked before. Not even anything like cookies. Oh, he'd made slices of toast but that usually ended up being burnt, because he couldn't remember how to use Severus' toaster. The house elves usually did everything unless he had been staying at his godfathers.

"You actually think that it would be a good idea for me to cook?" Draco asked Harry as if he were mad.

"Yes," Harry said simply moving around the kitchen to get the ingredients and equipment together.

"Well at least tell me what you plan to make before I agree." Draco told Harry getting up from where he had been laying on the sofa, he flicked his wand and it turned back into a chair.

"Don't worry," Harry told Draco turning around to face him. "I won't make you cook anything too hard this is your first time at cooking. I thought we could make pizza.

Draco nodded that didn't sound too bad.

Twenty minutes later Draco was covered in flour and was hoping that he never had to cook again in his life. He had thought that this would be as easy as potions but he hadn't been more wrong in his life.

"I can't do this," Draco complained again.

"For a Slytherin, you sure do give in easily." Harry observed, moving around to help his friend.

"I left Hogwarts years ago, I've grown up and learnt that sometimes you have to realise that you aren't always going to win." Draco told him philosophically.

"Draco we're just making pizza, there are much harder things to do in life. You managed to learn how to drive. Making pizza should be a walk in the park." Harry told him disbelievingly.

"Oh, shut up, Potter." Draco sniped at him, sounding a lot like Severus in a bad mood.

Harry couldn't help but grin. "Look, you've nearly finished and it isn't too bad. Now all you need to do is put the toppings on, okay. That's easy enough isn't it?"

Draco nodded; this was the fun and easy part. Well, the best part was eating it, but that would come later. It all depended on whether it would taste okay though. Hopefully Draco had put the right amount of ingredients in.

Reaching for the homemade tomato base that Harry had made quite recently, Draco spread on the mixture. Harry shook his head at the look of concentration on the blondes face before remembering that he had forgotten to get the pineapple out of the cupboard.

"Damn," Harry cursed, hunting around in the cupboard a bit more. "_Accio tin of pineapple!"_

Nothing came flying towards him. "We're out of pineapple chunks. I'm going to have to go out and get some quickly."

"Does it really matter?" Draco asked him, moving towards the oven to see whether he could work out how to use it.

"Well, um…" Harry blushed. "It won't take long, there's a shop just on the corner."

Draco raised is eyebrows at Harry's blush. "Okay, fine. But tell me how to work the oven first."

But his friend just shook his head. "We won't need to put them in the oven for another half an hour, just leave it and get cleaned up. We can put them in the oven at the same time once I've got the pineapple."

Harry had been gone for about a minute and Draco was already bored. He found a cooking tray and put his finished pizza on it. Now all Draco had to do was to work out how to use the oven.

* * *

Severus stepped out of the fireplace and immediately knew that something wasn't right. For one thing there was thick smoke billowing out of the kitchen.

"Harry?" Severus called, slightly alarmed by the smoke.

He got no reply and so took his wand out and muttered a spell to get rid of the smoke. As soon as all of the smoke disappeared he found Draco standing in the kitchen with burnt pizza on the worktop. He was opening the windows and coughing slightly.

Severus gave his godson a knowing look as he walked into the kitchen. "What did you do?"

"Why is it always my fault?" Draco asked annoyed. "How do you know it isn't Harry's fault?"

"Where is Harry anyway?" Severus asked, changing the question before Draco had a tantrum.

"He had to go out to get something from the shop," Draco told him. "Can you help me clean up the cooker, please."

They had cleaned up the cooker and were trying to make the place smell better when Harry came home.

"Why does it smell like smoke?" Harry asked as he took his jacket off and put it on the back of one of the chairs.

"Ask Draco." Severus told him as he sat down in one of the chairs.

"You tried to cook the pizza didn't you." Harry said knowingly.

Draco just huffed, before asking. "What am I going to eat for dinner now?" He was hungry and had worked really hard on his Pizza.

Harry made his way past Draco and got out a big enough baking tray before putting three pizzas on it. "I made enough dough for three pizzas. I was going to give the spare one to Ron, but you can eat it. I shouldn't give it to you really. It's your own fault that yours is burnt."

Draco opened his mouth but Severus beat him to it. "Where did you go anyway?" He thought Harry knew better than to leave Draco on his own in a kitchen.

Harry nearly dropped the tin of pineapples. Draco whom didn't like being ignored answered for him. "You didn't have any pineapple chunks left so Harry went to get some. I don't see the point really, pineapples are disgusting."

"Pineapples are my favourite," Severus told him with narrowed eyes.

Harry just blushed some more and Draco suddenly realised just why it had been so important to get the pineapple chunks for the pizza.

You better stand tall

When they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break

Baby, don't back down.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; all characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. I also do not own this song.

Pairings: Harry/Severus, past Ron/Hermione.

Warning: Male homosexual relationships, fluff, slight angst.

AN: Thanks to all who offered their Beta services, but my beta reader got back to me and was very busy. But here is the chapter, thank you for your patience. Please review.

**It's My Life.**

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just wanna live while I'm alive

_The sound of slithering followed Severus at every turn he took; it filled the deafening silence and filled him with dread. If the Dark Lord believed him to be loyal then why had he told Nagini to follow his every move? _

_Hissing seemed to fill the silence abruptly. He suddenly came face to face with Voldemort whom was having a conversation with his familiar in parseltongue._

"_My Lord?" Severus spoke as confidently as he could muster. "You wanted to see me?" _

"_Ah, Severus. Everything is going to plan?"_

"_Yes, my Lord." Severus felt relieved as Voldemort's face relaxed slightly._

"_Good. Potter should be dead within the hour and then the wizarding world will be mine to rule. I will be invincible."_

_Severus bowed respectfully. "Is there anything more you need from me?"_

"_I'm afraid, Severus, that you have done everything you can. You have played your part and have been successful. The next part of the plan is ready to begin." Voldemort hissed to Nagini who moved graceful towards the Dark Lord and stopped in front of him facing Severus. "But I will not divulge the next part to anyone, there was once a time Severus when I could trust you as being my most faithful servant. But now I doubt your loyalty to me."_

"_My Lord!" Severus tried desperately to defend himself but he was ignored. "The castle's –"_

"_The __defences__ are weakening and you are no longer needed in this fight. You may be a skilled wizard Severus, but you will make no difference, it is my turn to fight now. _

"_I have been waiting for this moment for my entire life. You have helped me much along the way, but I can't take the risk to trust you any longer."_

_From where Harry was hiding, he could make out Snape's face clearly, the man knew that this would be the end for sure. But he continued valiantly to save his life._

"_But, I can bring Potter to you, I know I can find him and get the boy to trust me –"_

_Snape had already found Harry, he had cornered him and told the boy the truth, that he was on his side and would do anything to bring Voldemort down. He would do anything to stop the madman who had taken over his life and stopped him from ever really living. He would do anything…even die._

_Harry couldn't risk trying to get the snake yet; if he tried he would surely give away his position and ruin everything. But he didn't want Snape to die. The man deserved a chance to live as much as he did. _

_But Harry knew he had to do something._

"_It is too late for that," Voldemort hissed something to the enormous snake and Severus could only watch as the beast lunged towards him. _

_But before it could get close enough to kill, the beast stopped for a brief second before it's head flew through the air. It all happened so fast that Severus would have missed it had he blinked. _

_The last Horcrux had been destroyed._

_Dumbledore had let him in on a secret before he had passed away. Harry had a Horcrux inside of him and unless that was destroyed as well, Voldemort could live on. But the headmaster had found a spell to purify Harry's soul and the piece of Voldemort was destroyed. He had been ill for nearly a week, as his body had needed to recuperate from the change. _

_Harry took off the cloak, and Voldemort too busy lamenting over the loss of his Horcrux missed the de-arming spell that Harry threw at him._

_Snape watched as Voldemort whirled around and shot a wandless spell at Harry. Blood gushed out of the wound the spell inflicted and he jerked forward at Harry's scream._

Severus awoke at the scream as he always did; it was a familiar dream, one of a few that he had the misfortune of having to endure. Only a dreamless sleep potion would stop the memories. But he knew better than anyone, being a potions master, that it was very easy to become reliant on such a potion.

Usually he was able to wake before the memory got to the worst part. But sometimes the dream changed, morphing the memory into something much worse. In some Harry died, the Dark Lord lived on and the wizarding world turned into hell on earth. In others he would step in front of his beloved Harry and would take the killing curse for him, so that he would be able to save the world and live in peace. In the dreams such as this Harry would kill Voldemort before falling to his knees beside Severus' stricken body and fall to pieces proclaiming his undying love to the older wizard.

Severus tried to stay asleep as long as possible during that particular dream, he knew it was wrong but to see Harry devastated over the loss of him, lonely old, potions professor. It made him feel as if he actually had a chance with the beautiful younger wizard.

Not that that could possibly be true.

* * *

Harry groaned in frustration and ran his hand through his hair for what felt like the hundredth time.

He had nothing to wear tonight to the stupid ministry ball, it didn't help that he really didn't want to go. That fact just made him even more agitated. He didn't have time now to run out and buy new dress robes, not if he wanted to get perfectly fitted ones.

Severus walked past Harry's door only to hear a loud bang, he knocked on the door, ever the polite gentleman before barging inside after hearing another crash.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked before it clicked into place. "The Ministry Ball."

Harry looked up from where he was sat on the floor of his bedroom, every dress robe he owned on the floor in crumpled heaps around the room. "I have nothing to wear tonight!" he moaned in despair, burying his face in his hands.

"I told you last week you should make sure you had something appropriate to wear and you said that you had something. It's your own fault." Severus told him unhelpfully.

"Great, some help you are." Harry mumbled.

Severus sighed before moving across the room to stand in front of Harry, he reached a hand out to pull the younger wizard onto his feet. "You still have a few hours, why don't you floo to Draco's and ask if you can borrow one of his. I'm sure he has more than he needs in his whole lifetime. And before you start, it doesn't matter that he's larger than you, you can easily make them fit you. Draco will know how." Severus told him.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Harry's mouth, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're a Gryffindor." Severus drawled knowingly.

Harry laughed. "I shouldn't be long if Draco has as many robes as you seem to think he has, I'll be here half an hour before the ball starts," he said a quick goodbye before apparating to Draco's flat.

* * *

"What about this one?" Draco asked, he pulled a robe off of the rack and strode out of his walk in wardrobe to show Harry.

"It's too…showy. The colour's too bright Draco, it just isn't me. I'd feel uncomfortable the whole night." Harry told his friend truthfully, he wanted to get this over with and chose a robe, but if it wasn't the right robe then the whole night would be ruined. He would feel out of place.

Draco sighed heavily and walked back into the wardrobe. "I don't think I have exactly what you want Harry, either my robes are not the right colour, or the right design.

"What colour are you looking for?"

Harry got up from where he was perched on the edge of his friends bed and walked into the wardrobe. He looked around trying to find him in the spacious area. The room was bigger than his bedroom! Clothes lined the walls in every colour of the imagination. "It doesn't really matter," When Draco gave him an annoyed look he tried again. "Blue?" He spoke as if he were asking a question and not answering one.

"Harry, I'm trying to help you but you're not making it very easy." Draco scolded his friend.

"You're the one who is supposed to be good at fashion and whatever. You should know what colours are supposed to suit me!"

"Yes, but everything I bring out you find fault with," Draco cried in exasperation.

Draco started his search again in renewed vigour as he caught sight of the clock in the corner. He shoved each wrong robe to the side as he moved across the room, desperately trying to find the _right_ one. If only his friend didn't have so many aims to adhere to. How was it possible that he couldn't find anything that Harry liked with all the robes he had collected over the years. "You're just going to have to go in something you don't like because – Yes!"

Harry was startled by Draco's exclamation, having tried to block out the blondes rambling only seconds before. "What?" He asked bewildered, by the unexpected shout.

"I knew I had this somewhere I just couldn't find it!" He pulled the robe over to Harry and placed it on he bed. "Perfect!"

* * *

"Harry," A familiar voice spoke his name in the darkness.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked the red head surprised.

"It's a ministry ball Harry, all employees are invited along with people like you," she told him moving ever closer.

"Since when have you worked at the ministry? You told me you never wanted to work there, you said you'd rather live on the streets, be penniless."

_Yes_ Ginny thought. _But that was when I had you._ _Back then I didn't need a job._

"Anyway," Harry went on. "I thought you were working your way up to be a professional Quidditch player."

_Again, I needed you for that. Contacts are the only way I can make it big as a seeker. I'm not good enough to be able to get there on my own. Mrs Potter could do it though._

"Look. I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about us."

"What do you mean 'us' there is no 'us' Ginny." Harry said trying to move past here and back into the function room. He had only walked outside because he needed to get away from all the noise. He wouldn't have bothered if he knew who he would encounter.

"But there could be!" She told him brightly.

"Ginny, can't you just accept that we're not meant to be together?" he said as calmly as he possibly could.

"No, Harry. You're wrong, I love you, you love me and we _are_ meant to be together. I've loved you since before I can remember. The feeling has always been in here," she put her hand over he heart at this statement. "If you're doubting my feelings I can prove to you how much I love you," she told him in a voice that sounded more like a purr.

Harry fought the urge to throw up or slap some sense into the girl. He shook his head at her. "I don't love you Ginny, I've come to my senses and that's it, I want nothing to do with you. Please just let me get on with my life and try to find the person I am meant to be with. The person who will love me for who I am, not for the scar on my forehead or the money in my bank account."

"But that is me!" She shouted desperately, at a loss for what to say to make Harry believe her.

Harry snorted humourlessly. That one sound got through to Ginny more than anything else had in their whole conversation. She began to grow angry.

"Look, my mum gave me this ring when I turned eighteen. Don't you think it's beautiful?" At Harry's nod she continued, her hopes rising slightly. "This could be on my finger, and then one day when she is old enough, our daughters finger! Wouldn't it be wonderful, Harry?" She asked a hopeful smile on her face.

"Ginny, you can have that, just not with me. Find someone else, someone you really love. That ring can still be on your finger, but I won't be the one to put it there. I'm sorry." He told her, shaking his head.

Where had the innocent little girl that he had met when he was twelve gone? How could she have changed so much? Why couldn't she just accept that this wasn't what he wanted, what wasn't right for him or her?

"I don't think you understand what I am saying Harry," she told him in a dangerous voice. "We are meant to be together and we will be together. We will get married, have children and grow old together.

"Because really Harry, who else would want you?"

My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just wanna live while I'm alive  
It's my life


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; all characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. I also do not own this song.

Pairings: Harry/Severus, past Ron/Hermione.

Warning: Male homosexual relationships, fluff, slight angst.

AN: Thanks for all of the reviews and alerts!! Un-bet'd at the moment, but I will change this when I get the document back from my wonderful beta reader Sapphires and Diamonds.

**It's My Life.**

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just wanna live while I'm alive

Harry looked at the robe cautiously; it didn't look like it was anything out of the ordinary. It didn't look like a robe Draco would have in his wardrobe. It looked too plain and simple to be owned by Lord Malfoy.

"Is this what you were looking for?" When Draco nodded Harry asked another question. "And it's yours?"

Draco just ignored him. "Mother bought it for me about five years ago, when my grandmother was still alive. She was having a small get together; I think it was a garden party. She knew that if I had been the one to choose the outfit it would have been too ostentatious and so she bought me _that_ as a surprise a week before.

"I was going to get rid of it after the party but I decided not to. I can't remember why. It was probably so I wouldn't hurt mother's feelings. You can keep the robe if you like."

Harry looked at the robe again. It looked quite nice really; it just wasn't something he would usually buy for himself. It looked too expensive and tailor made, but h was desperate here and was willing to do anything. "I'll try it on."

The robe fitted him perfectly. But he still wasn't sure. "Don't you think the colour's a bit wrong for me?" Harry asked, he didn't want to offend Draco but the robe wasn't really to his colouring.

"It looks fine!" The blonde insisted, he moved forward and smoothed out a few wrinkles before stepping back with a pleased smile. "Better than fine, even, it looks great."

"I'll be a laughing stock! I look like I'm going to a party at Hogwarts and want to show off my house. I look like a Slytherin, and a very proud one at that. A snake that insists on only wearing these colourings."

"Well, you did once tell me that the Sorting Hat-"

Harry cut Draco off mid sentence, "Yes, but I don't want everyone to know that!"

"And why not? What is wrong with being a Slytherin?"

"Nothing," Harry placated soothingly. "I just don't need that kind of attention from the media right now, I'm trying to stay below the radar."

Draco sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that evening, "It's either this robe or nothing at all. I'm not sure how everyone will react to you turning up naked. I'm sure a lot of people would quite like it." The blonde knew that his godfather would be quite agreeable to the show for all of sixty seconds before realising that it wasn't just him getting the show. He would then cover Harry with his cloak and take him home. Draco didn't want to think about what would occur after that. The particular image made him shudder.

Harry nodded and put the robes on. They fitted him perfectly and didn't look too bad really.

"I'm sorry Draco, I've been a right git," he said to his friend moving to stand in front of him, he placed a hand on the others arm. "Thank you for helping me. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Draco shook his head. "Don't worry, just try and have a good time, okay."

The saviour of the wizarding world rushed out a quick, "I'll see you soon." Before leaving.

* * *

Harry flooed back to Severus' house and stood in the living room, waiting for his friend to ready himself for the Ministry Ball.

He didn't understand why, but he was feeling rather nervous about tonight, whether it was because he would have to face a roomful of people, who would no doubt want to talk to him about The Final Battle. Or because there was a possibility that they would start asking about the breakdown of his relationship with Ginny, he wasn't sure. But just thinking about it made his head hurt again and his palms sweaty.

He checked his watch for the tenth time, before running a hand through his hair. What was taking Severus so long?

He paced up and down, if he paced one more time this week he would have to buy Severus a new rug. Why did he care so much about what they were all saying? If he knew the truth and the people who mattered to him knew, then why did it matter to him what everybody else thought?

He hadn't seen Molly or Arthur since the split, but Ron had assured him that they didn't care. They still loved him as if he was their son; he knew that sooner or later he would have to pluck up the courage to visit them. If he didn't get a move on they would think he was being rude.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief as he heard footsteps approaching.

* * *

Severus knew he was keeping Harry waiting and that was wrong of him, but for the first time in years he was actually making an effort with his appearance. He had washed his hair with a special concoction that would mean it was protected from potions ingredients and fumes so it would take longer to become greasy.

He knew that the students said things about him behind his back he wasn't stupid or deaf, he could hear them most of the time. So he had decided to make a change and wash his hair more often, but he had noticed that even then it wasn't very clean and this was because of the exposure to potions.

The new robe he had bought fight him perfectly, Madame Malkin had said that he looked "fetching" which was the nearest thing to a compliment he had heard in years.

It was probably silly to do all these things; it was most likely too late after all the years of not looking after himself. Nevertheless all of it wasn't just for Harry. Yes, he wanted the man to notice him and see him as more than just a reliable friend. But he was doing it for himself, too. He was sick and tired of feeling unhandsome and ignored.

He sighed, this was the best he could do, and put his wand in its holder up his sleeve. He shut the door to his rooms and made his way down the stairs.

Severus pushed the door open and his breath caught at the vision that was standing in _his_ living room waiting for _him_.

The amazing creature was wearing a robe that was so dark a green that it was nearly black with silver trimmings. It made Harry's gorgeous eyes stand out even more than normal, the form fitting robes colour also highlighted his hair. Severus had never seen anyone look as good in casual robes as Harry did at that moment. It was as if time was standing still, his breathing had slowed down so much that it had nearly stopped altogether.

The beauty calling his name jerked him out of his state of shock and he blinked a few times to clear his vision.

"Well, are you ready to get this over with?" Harry asked him, a small nervous smile on his face.

Severus just nodded; he was not capable of words right now. He walked towards his friend and held his arm out for him before leading him out side and to the apparation point.

* * *

He moved through the shadows to get close enough to hear the conversation Harry was having with the youngest Weasley.

Harry looked distressed and Severus hated to watch his friend look that way. He wanted to step out of the shadows and tell the Weaselette (as his godson so lovingly called her) to leave.

"Look. I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about us." Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing; they had been over for nearly two months she wasn't seriously thinking that there was still anything between the two of them.

"What do you mean 'us' there is no 'us' Ginny." He saw Harry try to push past the women but she wouldn't give up and shouted something else equally dim-witted, she obviously thought that it she was _persuasive_ enough she could change Harry's mind.

Harry's calm body language was clear to see, he wasn't going to let Ginny rile him up, she was obviously hoping for him to feel something for her even if it was anger. Maybe she thought that she could convince Harry that it was passion.

How could Ginny think that Harry loved _her_? After everything she had put him through. She still thought that her manipulations of Harry's feelings would work. She was just plain delusional now.

Did she really think that Harry would believe that her _love_ was heartfelt? Well, her love for Harry's Gringotts account was real, but it was the only thing that was. Everything about her was fake.

Severus could see Harry's calm slipping, his infamous temper struggling to break through. It was going to take some conversation to make Ginny see sense. Maybe it was time to get a restraining order, he was sure that Kingsley wouldn't mind fast tracking the request. It was for Harry after all. They were such good friends and the man would do anything for Harry. Severus would be jealous if he hadn't known the man for so long and knew all about the women he had charmed in his younger years. And about the women he charmed now with his Auror muscles and money.

The corners of his lips twitched upwards as Harry said the fateful words, which would have ended any conversation with a normal person: "I don't love you Ginny, I've come to my senses and that's it, I want nothing to do with you. Please just let me get on with my life and try to find the person I am meant to be with. The person who will love me for who I am, not for the scar on my forehead or the money in my bank account."

Ginny still didn't think the conversation was over and Severus sighed wanted to march out of the shadows and shout some sense into the girl. Maybe his sneer would help…

He snorted at the women blatant attempt to make Harry propose. That would never happen. Well, unless Harry hit his head, had amnesia and was obliviated. But he didn't want to give Ginny any ideas.

Harry tried to let her down gently one more time, but if anything it made her angrier, crueler.

All of his attention was fixed on the conversation as Ginny's face turned into a pure mask of anger, face reddening, freckles standing out.

"I don't think you understand what I am saying Harry," she told him in a dangerous voice. "We are meant to be together and we will be together. We will get married, have children and grow old together.

"Because really Harry, who else would want you?"

That really stumped Severus, he watched as Harry floundered so a minute before taking a few steps back as if recoiling from a shock.

His friend must have walked away from the scene as when Severus' head cleared Ginny was standing there looking slightly smug as if she had just accomplished something, chest heaving from the exertion of ruining any friendship she may have been able to salvage with Harry in the future.

Severus couldn't understand how this woman could say these things. Some one who was supposed to love Harry, how could she possibly be so heartless and cruel. Well he knew that her love wasn't real but he had at least thought that she wouldn't go as far as to break Harry's heart. What would she have to gain from that?

He couldn't stand by and watch as the witch got away with saying such disgusting things to his Harry. He stalked out of the shadows and got as close to the women as he dare to get. He looked down at her with loathing clear in his deep black eyes.

"You are the most vile women I have ever set my eyes upon, and I have met quite a few trolls and hags in my time. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and seriously think about whether you are mentally stable.

"How can you treat the person you 'love' with so much distain, even I, who loves few and can't say has truly learnt to understand love yet, can say that you shouldn't act this way towards someone you care for. Not even if you were in a lovers tiff.

"I am going to get in touch with your family and see how they react to it. I have recorded the whole of your conversation with Harry and I think that your mother, father and especially your brother will find it interesting listening material."

He turned to walk away from the stunned witch when something else occurred to him.

"Oh, and to answer your question. I think a lot of people would love to be with Harry Potter, the person you only seem to be able to see. What you don't understand is that there is Harry. A real human being, a person who isn't a superhero and doesn't have extra abilities. He just wants to have what everyone else wants. To find love. Only those who can look past his fame will be able to say that they love Harry."

He sneered at her shocked expression. "You will never be able to do so, your dreams of fame and fortune have addled your brains. You will never find true happiness until you learn to be happy with what you have."

Severus turned away from the redhead and made his way out through the quiet garden towards the apparation point and whispered to the cold night air. "I love Harry for who he really is and if I ever had the chance to be with him, a chance that you foolishly wasted, I would spend a lifetime showing him that he is worthy of affection. I want him for who he is inside and if it's the last thing I ever do, I will show him what true, _real_, love is.

You better stand tall

When they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break

Baby, don't back down.


End file.

Harry Potter, Romance