Harry Potter 1. Emotions

**Disclaimer- I do not now, nor have I ever owned anything of any signifigance to anyone other than myself. This includes the characters and basic idea of hp, and all the things I can't be bothered to write. Wish I did own HP though... (_Self-Insert+Draco=Definitely :]_) But I will never own anything related to Harry and his minions (excluding this plotline) so there. JKR is just mean like that. Enjoy!**

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Under these Circumstances

Chapter 1- Emotions

Hermione sighed as she gazed upon the letter that her mother had sent to her approximately a year ago, before she had passed away. It had been a rough year as she and her mother were close, but luckily yearly exams were not far away and it gave Hermione something to keep her mind off the tragic events that had happened twelve months ago, though they seemed to have taken place just yesterday.

She looked up from the paper, feeling it near drenched with tears, and tucked it safely away in a small lilac box, which she then slid under her bed. As Hermione lay there, looking up at the dorm room ceiling, she prayed for some kind of refuge from the pain that she was experiencing. She went downstairs, comforted somewhat by the fire in front of where she now stood. Hermione sat on the largest lounge and stared at the flames, remembering her mother's loving amber eyes and crying herself to sleep.

As she lay there, still softly crying in her sleep, a young man topped with blonde feathery hair crept silently past the door and peeked in, looking for some friends of his. He saw that she had been crying, as her soft cheeks had been stained heavily with the small amount of mascara that she had failed to remove before she fell asleep. The young male felt compassion towards Hermione, a fact that he dared not admit, for it was almost completely unlike him.

Almost.

Just as he had turned to leave, he stubbed his toe against the leg at the end of the lounge and the large bump, accompanied by the boys muffled yelp, caused her to wake abruptly. She felt ready to scream when she saw the dark silhouette, but soon realised who it was and, although still overcome with shock, managed to calm down before whispering, "Malfoy! What in the wizarding world are you doing here?" feeling a bit embarrassed that he had caught her in the state she was in. She paused, but without waiting for an answer, continued, "And how did you get into the Gryffindor common room in the first place?"

She let Draco finish this time, but soon wished that she hadn't, as he quipped, sarcasm surrounding his every word, "Oh, I should have known that this was the Gryffindor common room." He screwed up his face, adding, "Granger, you look a mess."

Hermione feigned laughter, but snuck a secret glance in the mirror behind Draco's head, not noticing that he had only made fun of her to hide any shreds of empathy that may have been showing through his token badboy smirk. He knew what she had been crying about, as he had overheard her sobbing among some friends in a hidden corner of Hogwarts and had experienced feelings not dissimilar to hers.

She did not seem to have wanted much company from her friends then, so he decided that the worst thing he could do was console a schoolyard rival, as the death of a loved one is often more than enough change without others around them alternating further. However, his theory became outdated when he noticed that Hermione had curled up and began to sob again, becoming increasingly oblivious to anything else that may have been happening around her.

Draco decided to break his rule, and slowly made his way over to Hermione, giving her plenty of time to object to his actions. She didn't, so he sat on the couch next to her, saying nothing.

This carried on for quite some time. It was getting late, and Draco thought he would surely be expelled if he was caught at this hour, so he decided to leave, adding, "If you need to talk, I'm always available." Hermione was taken aback at this sudden display of kindness, but acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, acknowledging Draco's offer through a half-hearted smile.

- ~ -

Hermione sat in the observation tower, pondering the events of the night before. How was Draco able to enter the Gryffindor common room? Why was he there? Why was he so kind to her?

These three questions kept Hermione wondering and many others, most of them about her mother, were whizzing through Hermione's head.

The world was so uncertain now. There was no element of prediction left in this life. Hermione thought back to before she had been informed that she was a witch. It was a world that she had been familiar with and she knew it like the back of her hand. But now everything had changed, and it hurt not to know what the road ahead would bring.

Hermione became infuriated, filled with a sudden rage that took hold of her every action. It seemed as if she had been removed from her body while some stranger taunted and teased her with it until she could take no more. In reality, she was not in control at all. If Hermione had been in control, her actions would have been thought out carefully and precisely, as was shown in every aspect of her life. No, in fact she was far from control. She bowed her head.

_Why does life have to be so hard?_

Hermione left a short note beside where she sat, and climbed onto the box she brought up with her. She pulled the thick rope tightly around her neck and the friction burned at first, but she didn't care. Tears welled up in her eyes as she whispered silently to the clouds, "I can't live in a world without you now."

Then she jumped.

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**A/N: Hoping that was a sufficient first chapter/story. Review! Remember, for every review that I receive, I will personally tell Madonna that she is able to adopt another child. She won't be able to, I just want to mess with her head. **


	2. Relief

**Disclaimer: Most of the stuff in this story not mine. I just write with it. Only the plot is a product of my brain mush.**

**Enjoy! :)**

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Draco headed up the stairs to the observation tower, seeking tranquility, silence, and somewhere to think. The previous night's actions had scared him. Who had he become? It was not like him to comfort anyone, especially not someone he hated with a passion. Or else, someone he was _supposed_ to hate. She was a mudblood, for goodness' sake! It was unheard of, to say the least.

There was something in her eyes, though. Something that made him want to pour his heart out to her, let him know what she meant to him, so she knew him better than he did himself. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know why. He didn't know where these feelings had come from and why they had arrived so suddenly.

'_This isn't me! This isn't who I am!'_

Draco looked up to find himself at his destination, unfortunately, already occupied by _her._ The blonde wondered whether he should do as he had planned and sit there anyway, or come back when she had left. He turned around, deciding that it was best to leave. Hermione probably needed this time alone.

'_Why do I care so much? I hate her, remember!'_

That hadn't stopped him last time. In fact, she was the reason he was here. As he turned back to Hermione, He ran – realising what was happening – to try and stop her. She jumped off the box where she stood, and Draco dove to catch her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her legs, holding her up high enough so that there was a large amount of slack in the rope. He didn't want Hermione to choke.

'_What the hell is wrong with me? She's a mudblood, Draco. She's a mudblood!'_

Hermione looked down at Draco, her large brown eyes boring into his, and softly planted a kiss on his forehead. 'Thankyou, Draco'

'_I love her. I love her. I do.'_

**- ~ -**

Draco walked Hermione up to the medical ward. Unseen, thankfully, or he probably would have died with embarrassment. It was bad enough that she had made him into a complete and utter wreck, but if someone saw him helping her, he would have been the laughing stock of Hogwarts.

They stopped in front of the large double doors leading to Madam Pomfrey's quarters. 'Can you take it from here, Granger? I- I have somewhere I have t-to be.' Draco lied with impressive difficulty. Hermione nodded, a simple 'Yes' parting her lips, and Draco took that moment as a good opportunity to retire to the Slytherin common room.

Hermione pushed open the door, entered the sterile room and told the Medi-witch what had happened, minus the whole Draco fiasco. It was bad enough that he had seen her hopelessly naked- Not physically of course, emotionally- But if anyone caught wind of him helping her, she would have been the laughing stock of Hogwarts.

A frantic Ginny by her side, Hermione had a thorough check up and was given the all-clear, with the only injury being a sore neck. She was ordered to go back to her dorm and get some rest, while Ginny was asked to watch over her for the next few weeks.

**- ~ -**

'Watch it, mudblood,' called the Slytherin boy in a teasing manner, 'Next time I won't be so gentle.' He looked to his friends, Crabbe and Goyle, for back up and felt relief when he saw that they were chuckling, following the leader. However, as soon as his gaze fell upon Hermione once again, picking up her masses upon masses of books and schoolwork, his heart leapt down his throat, did a somersault in his stomach, and crawled back up to its rightful place in his now aching chest.

'Look, Malfoy. You have no right to do that to Hermione.' Piped up the ginger boy in defence of his friend. 'I would normally ask that an apology be given, but I know it is near impossible for you to utter anything without it being some sort of snide remark." Malfoy mocked emotional pain, then quickly snapped back to his previous self and prepared to launch a verbal attack.

'It's bad enough that the _mudblood_ has no peripheral vision,' At this he felt something inside of him twang. 'But Hand-me-down Weasley trying to stand up to me- that's nearly as bad, if not worse! In fact, I'd say that the only one of you lot decent enough to even look at me would be Potter, but he hangs around with you two, so I would have to say he is the lousiest out of all three!'

Hermione studied the words and actions of the boy in front of her. This wasn't the Malfoy from before. This wasn't the boy in which she saw so much potential. This wasn't the one who had saved her from herself, and reassured her when she needed help. Although it did bring comfort to know that at least _one _thing in her life had returned to normal. For that she was grateful.

She turned her attention to the two seemingly anonymous followers planted behind him, nodding their heads and occasionally letting out moans of agreement. This filled her with silent laughter, however short-lived it may have been. No sooner had her mind returned to the insults being thrown at her and her friends, had Draco swooped past them and left, followed by his goons and a few schoolgirl sighs from the first and second year Slytherin girls.

**- ~ -**

Later that night, Harry and Ron sat in the Gryffindor common room discussing their results in the recent potions test as they waited. They made sure to be quite so as not to wake anyone up. Where was he? It was much later than they had arranged to meet- 11.30- which had been and gone hours ago with still no sign of their associate.

'Maybe he won't show.' The ginger-haired boy thought aloud, 'I mean, this isn't exactly something that he'd normally agree to...' He trailed off, and Harry nodded, contemplating whether to call it a night or stay and see if their visitor shows.

A quiet shuffling came from beside the two boys and Harry promptly turned to see what was making the noise. Ron was not as quick to notice, only turning around as the dark figure crept directly to his side. 'Blimey!' He exclaimed, possibly louder that intended, 'I thought I told you to stop doing that.' This provoked a rather rude remark from the individual.

Harry sighed with relief. 'Finally. We thought you'd never arrive.'

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**A/N: So terribly sorry for not updating sooner. It is definitely not one of my strong points. I solemnly swear [that I am up to no good] that the next chapter will be up quicker than this one was. Hopefully.**

**Please review! It gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Just click that button down there and write something nice about me in the box. ****Easy :)**

**-Istolethecupcake65256**


	3. Reluctance

**Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine. I am henceforth disowning this plot, and it is no longer the fruit of my brain seeds.**

**Just kidding, it's still mine. **

**Just the plot though.**

**Nothing else.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Hermione sat in the observation tower again, this time knowing better than she had one month ago. She had asked Ginny to accompany her there and watch over her, as she was the only person that she trusted enough to tell about that incident. She was the only one who knew what she had tried to do. Except, that is, for one Draco Malfoy.

'Why did you do it, 'Mione?' the red-head asked her companion, 'Why did you do it with a _noose_? I mean, there are plenty of spells- however horrible they may seem- that would do exactly the same thing.'

Hermione looked up at Ginny, her expression showing deep thought. 'I guess I wanted to die a muggle, not a witch. In a way, I suppose I thought it could bring me closer to my mother.'

Ginny turned to face Hermione, unable to grasp some part of the story. 'Then what made you reconsider?'  
She cared for her friend, but at times found her extremely difficult to read. As the youngest Weasley waited for her friend to answer her, she slipped to the sitting position at her side.

Hermione froze, realising what Ginny had asked her. _'Do I tell her? Do I really tell her that Draco, the most self-centered, annoying spoiled brat ever to walk the halls of Hogwarts had saved my life?'_

She thought it over and some small part of her realised that she was just trying to save herself from embarrassment. She wasn't able to talk herself down, but the one she loathed most out of everyone she knew had done it with ease. There was no way that _that_ was ever going to come to light. Not if she had her way.

Hermione sat anxiously, wishing this particular question had never been asked. _'Damn that girl and her inquisitive nature.'_  
But maybe Ginny was just being a good friend, helping her to get her feelings out in the open. In that case, Hermione should answer the question truthfully.

She ran through all the options in her head: If she told Ginny the truth, What would she say? But if she lied, how would she feel knowing that she had answered untruthfully. It was quite unlike her to lie, especially to a friend. Still, there were a lot of things she had done in the last month that were unlike her, and others around her were rapidly following suit.

'I just didn't think mum would want me to die so young.' She lied, guilt flooding every organ in her body immediately as the words escaped her mouth. Ginny reacted with a thoughtful hum, agreeing with Hermione, who now felt even worse.

A few seconds of silence between the two girls caught Hermione blurting out the real reason as to her survival.

'Dammit, Ginny. I'm a terrible liar.'

Ginny seemed slightly perplexed at this, so Hermione continued.

'I didn't change my mind on my own, someone helped me down.' She admitted. However, before she could explain the whole situation, Ginny had interrupted: 'I don't care how you got down. As long as you are alive, it doesn't matter.'

Hermione tried to explain to Ginny that it was more than just that. _Draco_ had been the one to coax her down, and in a total lapse of judgement- she had kissed him. _Kissed_ him. Draco Malfoy.

It seemed stupid to dwell on a single action, Especially one that had taken place a month ago and that noone had spoken of since. But this seemed more serious than that.

'Gin, I didn't change my mind on my own because, well, Draco found me mid-jump. H-he caught me and…' She failed to complete the sentence, for it seemed too humiliating to share with even her best friend.

Ginny processed the information she had just heard. Draco Malfoy had helped a Gryffindor? A _Muggle-born_ Gryffindor?

The words played again in her head. _"Malfoy found me mid-jump…"_

Wait. No, what? She said Draco, not Malfoy. When had she started doing that?

Ginny determined that Hermione's situation needed some serious thought.

The tension that soon grew between the two friends could be cut with a knife. Why did Ginny always have nothing to say when it mattered the most? More often than not, she could hardly control her tongue.

Hermione looked down at the small yet ornate, silver watch adorning her wrist, and her eyes grew. 'Oh no, I'm going to be late for potions! I don't think Snape would need another reason to hate me, so I'd better get going.' Both girls felt thankful for the distraction that had cut their exchange short.

Ginny absent-mindedly watched as Hermione hurried to her next lesson, before realising that she too had to leave for class.

**- ~ -**

The young Weasley girl flopped herself onto her bed. Why was she always the one to go to when things went wrong. Was it because she listened? Hardly. She just had nothing to say. Was it the closeness they all felt with her? Not really. Sometimes she found herself in deep conversation with people she barely knew, with the exception of a few words on the way to class.

She felt significant, but at the same time, extremely unhelpful. Ginny had never even come close to some of the situations that had become common topics among friends that had chosen to confide in her. This often led to long awkward moments where she was supposed to give advice, or reassure that everything was going to be okay.

Hermione's state of affairs was hardly any exception.

Ginny had never had a relative die, especially not one as close as a mother, and she was hoping that wasn't about to happen any time soon. She had never tried to commit suicide, and could never imagine wanting to die.

Ginny desperately wanted to give some advice, and at least _try_ to make things better. But how could she advise Hermione when she had never been in the situation before?

She didn't know how it felt to be in Hermione's position. She couldn't give advice on something like that. What would she say? She couldn't tell Hermione that everything would turn out alright eventually, because she didn't honestly know herself.

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**A/N: Super-dooper sorry to my reader (Should it be pluralised?) for the total lack of doing stuff. I have no real explanation for my hiatus, other than it starts with 'I' and ends with 'talian test'. **

**Review anyway?**


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Harry Potter, Hurt-Comfort, Romance