Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers Request from assassins

Agents turned around to see Coulson as he walked pass them. He looked straight ahead, avoiding any eye - contacts from his colleagues, which caused some newbies nervous. He even did not wear his usual calm fake smile, and the look on Coulson's face could tell you he was going to murder someone, director Fury for an example.

"Relax Coulson!" - Skye's voice murmured by his ears. - "Remember you are not going to kill or be killed. Just relax!"

"I'm relaxing now!" - Coulson hissed through his teeth.

"Oh God! How relaxing you are!" - Skye shot back, her patience has gone thin - "You're gonna get us caught all because of that murderous look! For God's sake, just a smile, Coulson! SMILE!"

He snorted. It was easier said than done.

"That's it! I'm done!" - Skye exclaimed frustratedly. He could hear her footsteps further away.

"Don't worry sir," - Emma's voice assured him through the earpiece - "You're doing great!"

"For the first time in forever, I disagree with you, Em." - Leo spoke - "Skye is right, sir. At least try to smile a bit. People are staring at you."

"Alright." - Coulson sighed. As if he knew nothing about his surounding. He was a level 8 agent! Forcing all of his strength, Coulson finally managed a small smile. - "Better?"

"Better." - Ward confirmed, chuckling quietly - "Target on the board sir. Are you sure about this mission? You know there is an easier way to get their invitation."

"If I eliminated you, I'd tell you to do so." - Coulson hissed in reply - "But right now I need my backup."

"Once you're on the board we will cut the link." - Leo informed him - "There are dozens of devices up there that can break ours. Sorry boss but I don't wanna risk my babies."

"Okay." - Coulson replied, forcing himself to keep walking to the destination, meanwhile hopelesly trying to ease the nerve rising in him. To distract himself, Coulson asked - "Where is May?"

There was a heavy silence before Emma spoke - "Uhmmm... She is not here sir. She said... well,... She said she was not going to watch you suicide, but she wished you luck!" - Coulson could imagine the worry written all over the girl's face while Ward, Skye and Leo were struggling to hold back their laughters next to her. Suddenly he felt the erge of punching someone's face, someone like the dangerous Hawkeye.

"That's helpful." - He finally succeeded in finding the right word. - "Tell her I appreciate that."

"Any last words?" - Ward mocked, and Coulson swore he heard Skye's laughter echoing the Bus.

"I promise I'll be at your funeral." - He growled. The door was in front of him. - "I'm in."

"Good luck sir." - Emma said before the link went dead. Now he was totally alone, in a room full of people.

* * *

"Agent Coulson." - Agent Jasper came to greet him - "Good to see you back. May I ask what brought you here? I hope there is not another alien invasion."

"Of course not." - Coulson replied dryly - "It's classified. Where is Agent Hill?"

"She's there." - Jasper pointed, then shrugged - "That woman seems no need to relax at all. Someone needs to give her at least a few hours off." - He gave Coulson a knowing look. - "Good luck with the Icy Queen." - He patted Coulson's shoulder then left. Coulson glanced at him. What the hell? Did those trouble makers tell him about...?

Arggg... Let it be! Focus, Coulson! You need to focus!

Taking a deep breath. Coulson made his way to the Deputy Director of SHIELD, who was now shouting different orders at her agents. They hurriedly took some notes before leaving, as far from the woman as possible.

"Send a level 4 team to Iran. I want a plane to China immediately to pick Jackson's team up. Call Aylee I want my coffee now! Zac, what have you found about the weapon dealers so far? You know what? I don't have time now. Leave yout report on my desk at noon. Good morning agent Coulson, director Fury is not here. I'm in charge at the moment... Hey what the hell happened in Lousiana, Colin? I told you to cover it up! Get your ass to work now before I shoot it! So what do you need Coulson?"

Coulson stared at Hill's back in shock. She didn't need to turn around to know that he was already there. No doubt why she was the Deputy Director now.

"I need to talk to you. Privately." - He added as all of the agents stopped as he said the word "talk". All eyes glued on him.

"Busy!" - Hill replied shortly, tapping something on the screen.

"Just a few second." - Coulson said, he started to feel uncomfortable. - "Now."

"I have a whole organization which can't run by itself Coulson!" - She coldly shot back, still not looking at him.

"Maria," - Coulson swore he saw some young agents gasp in shock as he used her first name - "Now."

Sighing tiredly, Hill finally turned back to face him - "It'd better be good news." - She said, motioning him outside to an empty room. - "You have 30 seconds."

Coulson swallowed. It was much harder than he thought it would be.

"20 seconds, Phil, I'm tired, spit it out!" - Hill rubbed her forehead impatiently.

"Wouldyouliketohavedinnerwithme?" - That's it. He said the word in flash speed. It should be considered to be a world record. Hill just simply stared at him.

"10 seconds Phil." - She said - "And English, please."

"I mean... Well... Would you like to have dinner with me, Maria?" - He repeated, sheepishly looking at the ground.

_Tik... tok... tik... tok..._

Then Hill laughed. Damn that woman! She almost caused him a heart attack. Coulson looked at her in disbelief.

"Sorry..." - Hill calmed herself down, but it was not enough to stop the giggle. - "I'm sorry... It's just... God, I thought you were about to die or something! Of course yes you idiot! Yes, I'd love to! Oh c'mon!" - She bursted out lauging again when she saw Coulson's expression - "I'm sorry! I'll cook for you if you want so. You know I can really cook right? I have cooked for you so many times when we were partners. Okay, I'm sorry. No more laughing." - She took a deep deep breath and finally stop laughing. - "Is that okay? Cool, right? My apartment at 8pm tomorrow. Don't be late." - She tiptoed to give him a butterlfy kiss on cheek before leaving. - "I'm back to work!"

* * *

"You're back!" - Emma exclaimed when she saw him. - "I told you he made it!"

"Congratulation!" - Leo commented. "Thank you." - Coulson nodded at them. Ward and May appeared, both chuckled at him. He glared at them. - "But hey, where is Skye?" - He glanced around, noticing his pre-agent's absense.

"Dead" - Ward mocked - "She was so happy for you that she is dead. No, she said something about get some help for you and stuff like that."

"What?" - Coulson gasped.- "What's help?"

His question was answered immediately. Skye appeared, waving them, next to her was no one else but the super cocky arrogant playboy billionaire hero - the one and only Tony Stark. Leo fainted after letting out a very fangirling scream.

"Hello buddy." - He shook Ward's hand - "Morning ladies" - He turned to May and Emma - "Oh there you are!" - He grinned at Coulson -"Congratulaiton, Agent! I see you have passed the first challenge of our crazy assassins." - He boomed loudly in a cheerful tune while pulling an envelope from his pocket. - "Here, dear Natashalie asked me to give you this. She said you had earned it!"

Coulson took the envelope, sighing in relief - "Thanks."

"Now let's the party begin!" - Stark exclaimed - "Let me make-over for you, Agent! First, throw that tie away! I buy you another! Skye, which color suits him more? White or pink?..."

All Coulson managed to say was - "God bless me!"


End file.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers, Humor