Elfen Lied 1. Chapter 1

Nana & Mayu on I don't own Elfen Lied nor the fanfics that are soon to appear in later chapters.

The days at Kaede Inn were never a bore. They were fun, enjoyable, beautiful.

The days have especially gotten better when Kohta had purchased a computer to do his studies on.

When he wasn't on it, Yuka or Mayu were allowed to use it once in a while. Now Mayu felt like she should show Nana how to use a computer. How to have fun on a computer, that and the fact Nana was getting on Mayu's nerves on how bored she was.

"Mayuuuuuuuuuu, Nana's boooooooorrrrred," Nana had said for the 15th time. Mayu put her finger on Nana's lip before she could say anything else. "I got an idea, Nana, hold on, stay right there," she ordered. Nana was so naive to actually believe the phrase "stay right there" means to actually hold her position.

Mayu ran off to Kohta's room, and Nana started to grip at her crotch. Sweat poured down her face, her legs crossed.

Yes, she had to pee. Bad!

"MAYUUUUUUU, NANA REALLY HAS TO GOOO!" she yelled. Mayu came in, a smile on her face. "We get to use Kohta's computer, Nana," she said ecstatically," Uhhh, Nana, where are you going?" she asked her.

"You know, go. Bad," Nana said. Mayu gasped in horror, "COME ON, NANA, GO, GO, GO!" Mayu screamed, running her friend to the bathroom.

After 20 seconds of urination, Nana emerged from the bathroom, a look of relief on her face. "That's better, now let's use that commuter," Nana said. "Computer," Mayu corrected. "Oh, yeah, heh, heh, heh, lets go," her friend said, running to Kohta's room, Mayu not far behind.

Mayu took her seat, it was a very comfortable seat. She leaned back in it, enjoying the soft fibers of, while Nana stood pouting. Mayu knew that face, it was the dreaded, all poweful: Super Nana Tantrum Attack face. Mayu cringed at the face. She knew how bad Nana could be, even though Nana was good, _extremely_ good. She _rarely_ threw tantrums, unless she really wanted something, and if she did, she would cry, and cry, and whine, and occasionally throw herself on the floor. 13 years old, and she still acts like a child. Mayu shook her head.

Nana started to snivel, when Mayu offered her to sit in her lap. Nana happily walked in front of her friend, and placed herself on the top of her legs. Mayu groaned at the weight on her lap, it was crushing her. But as long as Nana was happy, Mayu was happy.

"Oooooh, what's that thing?" Nana asked, pointing to the mouse. "That's a mouse, Nana, you use it to click on stuff on the computer," Mayu said to her. "Do you want to use it?" she asked her pink-haired friend. "Nana does," she said, and moved the arrow to the symbol with the big "**e**" on it. "That's the Internet, Nana, click on that," Mayu said. Nana did as she said and clicked. The website appeared before them. Nana hopped up and down in excitement crushing Mayu more and more with each hop.

Accidently, Nana pressed the letter "F" on the keyboard. The website "**Fanfiction,Net**" appeared. Nana, curious to see what happens, clicked on it.

What fanfics will they come across?

R&R, and no flames!


	2. Chapter 2

Nana & Mayu on FF

Disc: Read the first chap.

Mayu hopped from the chair to find Nana her own, hobbling as she did so because her legs were pretty much crushed. She never knew that the pink-haired girl could weigh so much. Luckily, she found a chair, and Nana eagerly sat in it.

"Well, what should we go on first?" Nana asked. Hmmmmmm, Mayu wondered, and looked at the site, and saw the category "Anime/Manga" and clicked on it. She scrolled and scrolled. She saw an array of animes to look at, there were so many. Mayu and Nana loved anime, Nana loving them the most.

They looked, there were all kinds, Mayu wanted to look at the _Chobits_ section, she loved that show dearly, it was funny, sad, all that. Nana wanted to look at the _DBZ _section, she thought that Goten was so cute. She hugged herself, imagining she was hugging him.

"Let's take turns looking, Nana. I'll look for an hour, then you..." she was cut off when she saw a certain section. Of a show they loved the most of the most," Look, Nana, look! _Elfen Lied_!" She said," PUSH IT! PUSH IT!" Nana screamed. She clicked, and saw an array of fics. They were excited. They _LOVED_ Elfen Lied.

Not only because it had them in it, but also because of the animation, romance, drama. The gore got to them, though. It got to the point where Nana would occasionaly hide her face in Mayu's chest, asking if it's over or not.

"Lets look at the M ones, Nana." Mayu suggested. Nana nodded in agreement. They didn't mind the nudity in EL. They see enough of it from each other as it is.

They wanted to read fics about them, when they came across one fic called _Forbidden Fruit _ by a _Halamee2559 (Which is quite superb if you ask me)._

They read about the Nana & Mayu in the story, Mayu started to blush a beet-red, while Nana looked in curiosity.

Mayu read, and read, and blushed, and blushed,

_"Nana sat directly in front of the brown haired girl, rubbing the soapy suds all over her body, never even looking once at Mayu. Mayu stopped momentarily as she fixed Nana with another stare and watched the pink haired diclonius continued to lather herself with the sponge, moving it from her stomach up to her ample chest,"_

Mayu looked at Nana, face blushing so much, she looked like she could explode, and turned back to the fic.

_"Mayu eyed her companion cautiously as she rubbed the sponge over her bare breasts, blushing as she did so. The raven haired girl couldn't help but feel jealous at the other's figure. Although they were roughly the same age, Mayu had yet to obtain the assets she so possesed. Mayu glanced at her own body and sighed."_

At this point Mayu was cut off by Nana, "Mayu, what are_ assets_?" she asked. "Uhhh, uhhh," Mayu glanced at her friends _figure_, turned her head to the computer, then back to Nana. "You know those things on your chest?" She asked. Nana realized then,"Ohhhhh," Nana put her finger on Mayu's chest. "Those?" Nana asked. Mayu nodded, embarassed to the point where she could become another Hiroshima-Nagasaki bomb. "Shall we look on, Nana?" Mayu asked. Nana nodded, and they looked for more fics.

R&R. No flames.

Credit for this fic goes to Halamee2559.


	3. Chapter 3

Nana & Mayu on FF

Disc: Nope, still no luck owning EL. But the story in here is mine, though ; )

"Well, _that_ was quite a story," Mayu said, finishing the last few chapters of _Forbidden Fruit._ Nana nodded in agreement, then piped up, "What _is_ a labia, by the way?" Mayu turned red in the face, and gulped hard. "Ummmm, I'll tell you when we get done reading these stories, okay," she said. "Deal," Nana agreed, "Now for more stories," and scrolling down, Mayu found one in particular _Nighttime Troubles_ by an author named _Grotesque._ Feeling curious, she clicked on it, and began reading.

The things she saw in there would make Nana angry, so she had to be a bit careful about what sentence she was at and all that. She couldn't help but titter at the hilarity of wetting one's own bed. The titters began turning to snickering as she looked at the pee on the floor part,

_"Then she looked at Nana's crotch area and saw a wet spot. There were little droplets and a small stream dripping between her legs as well. The smell of urine filled the air around the two. Then Mayu finally realized why Nana was blushing. She had wet herself. It may have seemed childish, and Nana may be 13 years old, but Mayu knew that Nana was, in some ways, kind of a..._

_HEY!!!_

Nana screamed, rising up angrily. "Nana does not do that!" Mayu just tittered a bit more at her friend, "Where does the writer live, I'll have Lucy go after him, I'll have that man at the beach go after him!" She continued ranting, her prosthetic fist rising in the air. "Nana, you're silly," Mayu said. Nana just sat back down, pouting, "Alright, but I do **NOT** pee my bed!" Mayu shook her head, and read on

_"You know something, Mayu-san?" Nana asked. "What," Mayu asked back. Nana clung to Mayu, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, and said, "You're Nana's best friend." It took all of Mayu's strength not to cry, but she said, "You're my best friend too," and they slept. Mayu was happy, and Nana had peaceful dreams as she was clutching Mayu close, as a child would to her mother. Everything was peaceful once more."_

Nana put an arm around Mayu's shoulder, "You sure are," and Mayu then hugged her back. "But I **DON'T **pee the bed, though," she said for the umpteenth time. Mayu just rolled her eyes and carried on to another story.

_You know the drill._


	4. Chapter 4

**Nana & Mayu on FF**

**Writers block kept me from writing. Sorry for the delay. The next story, is once again, mine.**

**I still don't own Elfen Lied, sadly. **

The two girls continued to scroll along, looking endlessly for a story. "Mayu-chan, Nana's getting bored again!" Nana proclaimed. To tell the truth, Mayu was getting bored as well, one hand below her chin, arm resting on the table, the other scrolling down on the mouse. Nana's head was resting on Mayu's shoulder, half-way asleep. Just as Nana's eyes were about to close, "Here's one!" Mayu screamed, making Nana fall off of her seat. It was called "_**Going Home"**_ (again, by yours truely) and the two read the warning signiature thingy-mabob that described the story. Mayu suddenly had a glazed, bluish look on her. When she saw the words "_Mayu fans might need tissues,_" she gulped and shivered a little.

It just took the first few sentences to make Mayu quiver

" _It was a gloomy morning at the Kaede Inn, the interior used to be so lively and cheery, but not this morning, not for the last two weeks, it was all dark and gloomy. Happy faces used to plague the house so much, one could get a case of the diabetes just looking at the lively people inside. But not this time, this time, sadness plagued the Inn, and not a happy face was to be seen throughout the whole place._

_For you see, Mayu was dying."_

Mayu was rubbing her knuckes and fingers and hands together as Nana tearfully trudged closer to Mayu. The two continued on, almost in tears.

_" The doctors have given Mayu two weeks to live, and through those two weeks, she suffered and suffered. This was her last day. The suffering would finally come to an end. She would finally be able to go home, not at Kaede Inn, and certainly not at her old home, she would finally go to her real home, in Heaven, she would be an angel soon."_

Mayu couldn't help but shed a few tears, Nana didn't even try to hold her's back, head buried in her hands, sniveling and sniffling. "Oh, dear lord, why me?" Mayu asked to herself. She seemed to be a magnet to bad luck and sorrow. Maybe it was just her, she thought to herself. She shook her head and continued on reading, hoping that, in this fic, she would live. Her hopes were then shattered in her face.

_"Good-bye,...Nana...it was nice...knowing you," and then, Mayu had went to sleep._

_She didn't wake up again._

_Mayu was dead."_

Mayu was distraught! She cried from the sadness of her misfortune, "Oh, no oh, no, why me?" she sobbed. Nana clung to her friend closely and sobbed into her shoulder, "No, no, no! You can't die!" needless to say, Mayu was getting a bit embarassed. It was a sad fic, she admitted, but not enough to make Nana cry like this, and she knew after the sobbing, a "_**Super Nana Tirade**_" will ensue. Well, she was correct. Nana instantly stood up, and started with her rant. Meanwhile Mayu was wringing the shoulder part of the shirt to get the moisture of Nana's tears out.

"Nana won't stand back and take this anymore! This author will pay! Mayu is my best friend! She will never die! Never! Never!" Mayu was rubbing her temples as Nana continued to rant and rave, and read a bit more, and saw one line that made her chuckle,

_"It suprised Lucy how lighed Nana was,"_

"Light?!? I beg to differ," she said, rubbing her bruised legs from where Nana sat on her lap. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!" Nana whined, "Nana is not fat!" Mayu rolled her eyes, chuckling to herself as another "_**Super Nana Tirade**_" began. Just then, Kohta walked by. Seeing the calamity going on, he sighed, and rolled his eyes, "Teenagers..." he mumbled to himself.

Have an idea? Want your story to be read by Nana & Mayu? Either give me an idea via PM or review please. R&R please.


	5. Chapter 5

**Nana & Mayu on FF**

**Disc. I do not own EL, or the fanfiction.**

Nana & Mayu, both tired from tirading and crying and such, pushed on to find another story. "I tell you, Mayu-san, it had better not be another "me peeing the bed" or "you dying" story, or Nana will be REALLY mad," Nana stated, Mayu ignoring her long enough to find another story. Nana was getting real bored from the scrolling sound, and Mayu was scrolling like some kinda scrolling robot. That is, until she came across a promising story, called "_Vectors Over The Air_," by _Sephjnr_. "Oooh, a Nana ficcy," Nana giggled. So, out of curiosity, they clicked it.

"_In his hospital bed, the man with 3rd-degree burns over most of his upper half and a missing leg typified that description. Since they found him over 3 years ago he'd been confined to his bed without so much a word of what was going on. They'd found him floating in the bay the day after a major military exercise went badly wrong, and all things considered he'd been lucky to be alive_."

"Eeeew, the poor guy," Mayu said. "I wonder who it is," she asked herself, and carried on with the reading.

"_Those three minutes were an age and a day to him. But there was no way back now, and if it all blew up in his face he might not be able to afford a coffee to calm him down. There was also the matter of how to break the ice. All it took was a simple "Hello, Nana" and any last semblance of cover she'd have would be blown open, and quite possibly an arrest/assault before her shift would end. Too cool, however, and she wouldn't recognise him and just chew him out for being an incoherent old fart_."

The two girls tittered to one another, "What is "Incoherent", Mayu-san?" Nana asked. "I'll tell you later, okay?" Nana agreed, and added "But you also have to tell me what a "Labia", a "Pussy", and a "Clit" means too," Mayu just stared at her in a sort of "What the fuck" manner, and carried on with the reading.

"_…………Papa?"_  
"_You've sure been keeping yourself busy, Nana."  
"Are you Okay?" tears were in her voice.  
"I was flung backwards from the explosion. My left leg bought it and I've been burnt to a cinder. I'd hoped for this chance to speak to you again. To say I'm sorry."  
"Why, Papa? It's thanks to you I'm still sane. Well, sane as you can get sitting in a record studio at 4AM opposite a man with enough names for his pee-pee to fill a phone book."_

"Papa?" Nana asked herself. Mayu ducked a little, knowing that Nana plus Mention of papa, equals get the boat and umbrellas. "Pa...pa...(sniff)...papa...(sniff, hic)...paPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," Nana finally cried.

Mayu slapped her head, Homer Simpson style, with the "D'oh," added. "PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nana wailed. Mayu tried to comfort her, Nana's head in her shoulder. "There, there," she said occasionaly, and tried to point out the ending to her sobbing friend.

"Nana?"  
_"Yes, Papa?"_ she turned around.  
"Stay safe."

But looking closer, knew it wasn't so happy after all. "It's going to take forever to make her stop screaming Papa," Mayu said, shaking her head. Then, from Nana's mouth, came, yep, you guessed it,

**"PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **

Mayu, once again, D'ohed. She knew this would mean another tirade.

_Still longing for Nana & Mayu to read your story? It doesn't __**have**__ to be just Elfen Lied fics. It can be all sorts o' ficcys. Just send me a line and I'll try my best to make it. Oh, and be sure to R&R. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Nana & Mayu on FF**

**Disc: The answer's still no.**

It was getting near noon at the Kaede residence. The girls had just re-read some of the previous stories out of boredom. "Mayu?" Nana poked her friend to get her attention. "Yes, Nana?" replied the black-haired youth in a seemingly bored voice. "Nana's...," Mayu put a finger over her mouth, "Don't say it...bored!" Nana nodded. Indeed they were bored. There were hardly any stories to read on the site. They had re-read _**Forbidden Fruit**_, supposidly with a new "gloss" to make it better. Indeed it was, especially Chapter 3. "Nana will never look at Lucy the same way again," Nana had replied.

They read more of the author _**Weatherlord7's**_ fics. They especially were drawn to his newly added fic, _**A Sharptooth's Tale**_. "But...that isn't how it went in the movie, it was all about that little long-necked creature," Nana had commented, Mayu had replied with, "Of course it isn't! It's **FANFICTION!** Fan..fiction, okay?" They had pressed onward to find something else.

Then they saw something that piqued their interest, called _**Eds & Anime, DON't mix**_ by a _World of Dragons productions. _Nana was staring, shocked and a bit frightened. Hell, she looked scared out of her ever-lovin' god-damned motherfucking mind! "No...not...them...not the Eds! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" she tore through the house, screaming and telling the owners, Kohta & Yuka to take cover. Mayu covered her head in embarassment.

Needless to say, they reacted just like any other parent figure would at a time like that Putting their hands over their heads and sighing in embarrassment. "I _really_ think we should give that girl some shots of some kind," Kohta said. "KOHTA!," Yuka scolded, shocked at that statement.

Mayu was doing pretty much the same as Kohta & Yuka, until she pulled her pink-haired friend back into the Computer room. "Nana, listen very closely," Mayu made sure to periodize the words she was about to say, and stated, "It. Is. Not. REAL! It. Is A. Fan. Fic-tion!" Nana nodded, understanding finally. Mayu heaved a sigh of relief, and returned to the computer.

"Oh, well. Let's read it," Nana said, and they started onward.

_Mixing and stirring and calculating and hypothesizing. Edd had been doing this all night and all the early morning. All he could concentrate on was completing his formula. All he think about was ridding the Cul-de-sac of the threat known as the Kanker sisters. It was the very thing that drove him through the night. His bag ridden eyes begged for sleep as Edd commanded them to stay open, as he rubbed them. Then went back to his work. Edd couldn't help but smile through his mask as he eyed the glowing beakers, each lit by the color of their own base and acids. He couldn't wait to show Ed, and Eddy what he was creating_

"I know it's something evil, I just know it!" Nana said ina paranoid tone of voice. Mayu was getting a bit concerned, a paranoid Silpelit could spell trouble for Mayu, AKA, her head across the hall if she made one false move.

Eddy's ear drums rang violently as the constant ringing of his alarm clock bleared in his ears. He cracked open an eye and lazily sent a crushing blow to it with his fist, then slapped it into a pile of dismembered alarm clocks. But... The infernal ringing did not stop there. Eddy once again cracked open his eyes and slowly turned over, now eyeing his emerald green cell phone his father gave him for his twelve birthday. Eddy reached over and grabbed it, then hit the talk button.

"What _is_ a cell phone, Mayu-chan?" she had wondered what it was ever since the man on the beach told her about it. "I'll add it to my list of things to explain to you, okay Nana-chan?" Nana then shook her head in agreement. Mayu sighed, and pulled out a piece of paper, and wrote _Cell Phone_ on it, along with _Sex,_ _Labia, Cunt, Pussy, Clit, and Entrails, Innards, and Decay._

With that, they continued on with the story.

_Well, y'all know what to do. R&R, and don't be afraid to request. It doesn't have to be anime related even._


	7. Chapter 7

**Nana & Mayu on FF**

**I'm alive, don't worry about me. **

**Disc:...sigh..nope...**

Just finishing the fanfic about the Eds, Nana eyed around the room, looking around, like Fiver from _Watership Down_ would do. Mayu half-expected her to start screaming, "The field, its covered in blood!" Mayu just shook her head at her and muttered inaudible words to herself. "Get ahold of yourself Nana," Mayu finally said.

The girls did as they would usually do, and carried on. They then found a fanfiction called _**Thermostat**_ by a person named _Wait.What._ "Well, shall we see what it's about?" Nana asked. Mayu nodded, and carried on. Mayu knew this was a romance fic of some sort. Then she read on, and her face turned red.

_I had a debt to her, that much was true. She was still a bit...Shy-ish...even as the years since I last saw her had past. She had retained her...cuteness..as well. That's mostly why I broke down. Cute girl plus debt equals current situation._

_Current situation? Well, after she had moved in there had been a bit of a...dispute...over the temperature of the house. She liked it twenty degrees higher than I liked. Maybe it was less, and I was just over-exaggerating, but she had once again worn me down with her annoying cuteness, as well as her surprising determination, despite being a pushover most of the time._

_And now I was laying over the futon covers, practically dying of the heat, while she was nice and relaxed on her futon, which was pretty close to mine. My hands were resting under my head, being my pillow since I didn't feel like using my pillow tonight._

_I felt the urge to stretch, so I did so. As my hand raised over to the right, it brushed something cold. I involuntarily curled up my fingers and stopped stretching. I turned my head to see what it was. Her face._

Mayu's mouth hung open, and Nana tried in vain to close it back, but, like a door with a broken hinge, her jaw fell back in place. One eye twitching, for she knew who it was that it was talking about. "Nana, this time, it's about me, and that...man on the beach," Nana looked at her curiously, put two and two together, and both let out a rather audible...scratch that, rather ear piercing screech that could wake the frickin' dead.

_**AHHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Screeched the two teens.

Kohta & Yuka looked at the room, then at each other, then both, in a Calvin & Hobbes Mom & Dad-esque way, slapped their hands on their heads, covering their eyes and tomato-red faces. "Yuka, can we at least sew their mouths shut?" Kohta asked with a groan. "KOHTA!" Yula scolded, once more.

Nana & Mayu both read a bit more, their eyes twitching, laughing nervously. But inside, they wanted to bust the eardums of half of the people in Kamakara.

Well, sorry about the shortness of the fic. R&R and all that jazz. Requests still being accepted.


End file.

Elfen Lied, Humor