Legend of Zelda 1. Chapter 1: The Crash

**Bobbitt's Note (B/N): To veteran Legend of Ashley (LoA) readers, if you remember correctly/cared about this part at all, this was **_**supposed **_**to be part of some "super-mega-ultra" crossover that a bunch of my friends were going writing. Well, **_**that **_**didn't happen (I was the only one that actually got more than two chapters out *proud face*) and for a bit, it was just by itself. But **_**now**_**, apparently, it is going to be a companion story with three different fanfics written by three of the original crossover writers. You can read them if you want (they won't deal with LoZ at all, but my OC will be referenced a few times, I can assure that), I'll link them when they go up, but it won't (for the most part) hinder your understanding of events in my story. In light of this, the prelude chapter has been completely rewritten. **

**For newcomers… this is a companion fanfic to three others (not dealing with LoZ at all). I'll link them (somewhere) when they go up, and you don't have to read them to understand this. So yup. Sorry this part is so long! I promise they won't all be this long.**

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A small four-door car swerved on the ice-laden road as the driver turned the steering wheel to follow the curve of the street. She was tense as she gained command once again after the momentary lapse of control. As much as she disliked driving in the winter, it was her car that had been volunteered to escort her friends and herself to and from the anime convention from whence they were returning. Her car, her driver's seat. This was the case most of the time though; she was the unofficial driver of the group.

"You alright, Ashley?" Her passenger-seated friend asked. The animated conversation of the two friends sitting in the back continued.

Ashley blinked her dull blue eyes, and let out a cleansing breath before answering, "Yeah. I just hate driving in the winter, _especially_ during a fricken' snowstorm. _And _at night." Yes, three of the four things she hated while driving decided to converge on this one trip home. At least it was only three of the four though; it wasn't as unfavorable as it could have been.

"Well, you could have let _me _drive."

"Nah, it's my car. That would feel weird. Thanks anyway, Rachelly." Rachelly, or Rachel, raised her eyebrows at the stubborn driver, but settled back into the car seat without another comment.

The conversation, or argument, in the back seat reached both set of ears up front. "Korra is _so _much better than Ashiya!" Was the deafening line that brought Rachel and Ashley into the quarrel behind them.

"Nuh-uh!" An almost as loud voice retorted. "You just like her more because she's black like you!"

"I'm not black, I'm Puerto Rican!"

"She still looks like you! That makes you biased! You'll side with one of your kind!"

"I am _not_ biased!" The pro-Ashiya girl had a point though. The pro-Korra girl did look an awfully lot like Korra minus the blue eyes and height. In fact, she cosplayed Korra at the con they were returning from.

"Yeah-huh!"

"Fine, then _you're _biased because she's white and has short hair like you!"

"_What?!_"Pro-A shrieked.

"Acacia, Becky, calm down," Rachel said cautiously.

"And at least _Korra_ doesn't cross-dress!" Acacia stated fiercely.

"She does too! She did that one time when she disguised herself as one of the bad guys!" Becky countered.

"Those uniforms are unisex and you know it!"

"Guys," Rachel said a bit louder.

"And besides, how is she any different than us? We dress up as guys for cons!" Becky reasoned.

"… That's different," Acacia said defiantly.

"How so?"

"Well _because_-"

"GUYS!" Rachel yelled.

"_What?!_" Acacia and Becky yelled back in unison. Rachel just shrugged, her mission of quieting the two complete. Both girls scowled at Rachel.

"Well I for one like that Ashiya girl more," Ashley proclaimed.

Rachel glared at her while Acacia replied, "I bet that's only because her name starts with 'Ash' as well."

Ashley smirked, "You caught me." The rest of the car rolled their eyes while a short silence filled the vehicle.

"Rachelly, you look sad. Are thinking about not receiving an acceptance letter yet? Again?" Becky asked the light brown haired girl.

"No, I'm just sad I didn't see any _Young Justice_ cosplayers," Rachel pouted.

"Well, it _is _an anime convention," Ashley stated.

"But there were _plenty_ of _Legend of Zelda_ cosplayers," Rachel returned.

"Yeah, but _Legend of Zelda_ is anime-esque."

"It's also more popular than _Young Justice_," Acacia chimed in.

Rachel snorted in disbelief, "How is it any less 'anime-esque' than _Legend of Zelda_? And you don't know that for sure, Acacia!"

"Ok, it is also a manga, and besides the anime world loves _Legend of Zelda_," Ashley explained.

"So? _Young Justice_ is a comic series which is like manga."

"Well, it's _still _not manga…"

"Hey!" Becky exclaimed. "What's that in the road?" All pairs of eyes squinted through the windshield and incoming snowflakes at the silhouette in the road. Suddenly, the mass came into focus, and the girls found that it was approaching quickly.

"MOOSES!" Becky screamed.

"MEESE!" Rachel screeched.

"MOOSEN!" Acacia bellowed.

"_Shiiiiiiit!"_ Was the only thing Ashley had to say on the matter before instinct took over. Her foot crashed on to the brake pedal while she yanked the wheel to the left. Of course there was ice on the road so _of course_ her four-wheel-drive-lacking car kept on rolling. Luckily though, the car managed to skim right past the clueless herd of antlered animals. The girls all let out a collective sigh of relief before they were blinded by the headlights of an oncoming vehicle that had just materialized over the slope of a very near hill. Acacia, Becky, and Rachel's screaming returned with a vengeance. Ashley's arms moved of their own accord but it was too late. "Goddamn moos-" was all Ashley managed to whisper out before the collision with her fourth hated aspect of driving.

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**B/N: Thanks for reading! Also, my friends' stories will be dealing with **_**The Legend of Korra, Young Justice, **_**and **_**Hana Kimi**_** unless you already figured that out, you smarty, you!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Legend of Ashley

**B/N: I don't really like how I wrote some of the earlier chapters, and this is one of a few I'm re-editing or redoing. I feel like I've grown a lot, and/or my idea of how I should present this has changed quite a bit. Don't worry veterans! It hopefully won't change what made you love this in the first place! And hopefully it will bring in more readers!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim rights to **_**The **__**Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess**_** or anything in **_**The Legend of Zelda**_**.**

**I **_**do**_** own a belt though.**

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_Ka-ching._

"OW." Pain grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously as I reemerged into consciousness. My mind was blank for a second before random images fought for my attention. _Ice, snow, driving, headlights, fear… moosen?_ I let the last picture go and waited for the images to snap into a logical timeline. And snap they did. As quick as the movement of fingers, I remembered the ten minutes before being forced into unconsciousness. I groaned as I recalled the loathsome moose on the road and the even _more _loathsome approaching headlights. _I hope everyone is OK…_ My eyes shot open.

My friends.

What happened to them? What about the other car? What about _me_? From my view on the ground, I first deduced that I was _on the ground_, not in a car; that could either be good, or _really _bad. Second, it was daytime, and third, the sky was really pretty. _Always getting hung up on the little things…_ I thought.

I took stock of my body. My head was pounding, I was sore all over, and something sharp was jabbing into my back. _I should probably move._

I rolled over.

_Ka-ching_. Something was digging into my stomach now. I hoped it wasn't a piece of car debris; I also hoped it wasn't lodged in my stomach.

_Why does it keep "ka-chinging?"_

I slowly rose to my arms and knees and sat back on my heels.

_Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. _I swiftly inspected my abdomen. Nothing was protruding from it. I sighed, heavily relieved and looked around to get an idea of the damage. Before now, I had failed to comprehend that it wasn't _freezing cold_, which would have clued me in on the fact that I wasn't where I supposed to be.

I found myself squinting to see my surroundings. Obviously, I had lost my glasses. From what I could see within my five-foot sight radius, I was sitting in some brush surrounded by hexagonal green gems still failing to see how odd this was.

"These look expensive," I said upon a closer examination of one. I tossed it aside and decided to look for my glasses. They couldn't have fallen that far away (they were good at staying on my head), and finding them was a necessity. Well, maybe not. I could still see outlines and colors and could maneuver around pretty easily if I had to, but details did not come into focus. And I liked seeing details. I started crawling along the ground, feeling for my glasses. I chuckled to myself when I realized I was in the same situation as Velma from _Scooby-Doo._ I almost had the urge to start muttering "My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!"

Then my head collided with something. I lifted up and rubbed my head. The "something" seemed to be some sort of treasure chest, and my glasses were sitting right next to it. I put them on, and all of a sudden, I heard twinkely music start to play, the lights dimmed (how, I'm not completely sure since I was outside), and the treasure chest opened slowly. Golden rays burst out of the opening, and I had the strong urge to grab the contents. I followed my whim, reached inside and pulled out something small. I thrust the object to the sky with an ecstatic grin on my face.

_Dun-nuh-nuh-nuuuuuh!_

_Oh…my gosh. _My brain stopped processing for a moment but was shocked back into working when a transparent box appeared in front of me. It read (backwards from my view), "Congratulations! You found Aspirin! Now that throbbing in your head and nausea in your stomach will stop." A little icon of Aspirin was to the side.

_HOLY CRUD SCONES!_ I thought as I lowered my Aspirin and the entirety of the situation dawned on me. "I'm in… Legend of Zelda…" I whispered. I looked around again with my glasses on. "I'm in Legend of Zelda," I repeated. The place was _definitely_ familiar. "I'M IN LEGEND OF ZELDA!" I finally screamed at the pretty sky. I couldn't help myself as a small squeal slipped out as the fan-girl took over and all common sense fled. I did a celebratory happy dance while giggling uncontrollably. I wonder if my pupils were dilated.

I wasn't allowed much time to commemorate this occasion because I heard footsteps rapidly approaching. Lightning-fast, I hit the ground to avoid being seen. Unluckily, I was still in the rupee-infested bushes, so one of those lovely gems was there to greet my stomach like old friends. I managed to suppress a groan and look up. A girl, leading a horse, walked by and turned into a beautiful spring/pond/waterfall paradise-like cove.

"Epona?" The horse. The girl's name escaped me; I had trouble with names of characters I didn't really care about… _Wasn't it Iliad or something?_ Anyway, if Iliad was leading Epona to the Ordonian Spring, that meant two things: the lesser of the two was that I was in the Ordon province in the Twilight Princess version of Zelda, and the other more important thing was that Link was coming! A grin almost ripped my face in half at this realization. Very furtively, I army-crawled to the front of the bushes.

_Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. _Well, maybe not _furtively_, but no one seemed to notice (because no one was there). Looking both ways before crossing, I pelted to the wall to the right of the cove and clung to it like the James Bond expert I was. Now, using my other movie-referenced moves, I crept forward and peeked through the gates of the now enclosed pond.

_Link should be arriving soon… _I deduced from my previous game knowledge. Almost immediately after that thought, I heard brisk footfall heading my way.

"CRAP!" I yelled very stealthily. The furtive rupee bushes were too far away to run to, so I did what I seemed to be good at: camouflage. I threw my back and arms against the wall behind and stared straight ahead; no blinking, no breathing, no nothing.

A very, _very_ hot elfin-looking guy rounded the corner; he was wearing a bizarre arrangement of clothing that was native to Ordona. He also had the bluest eyes, and almost golden hair. Link was here. He stopped when he saw the gates.

_OMG! He's hotter in person! Ajfknolegpterjonsf!_ **(A) **I stared at him, and started to drool. He was drool-worthy in my book, but that did _not _mean I wanted to salivate like a dog before a meal. Also, I was more focused on suppressing the fan-girl that _desperately_ wanted to reach out and touch Link.

He turned around (thank god) and ran back the way he came without a single glance in my direction. My fan-girl stopped fighting and sulked back to some corner of my mind to mope. I looked after Link surprised. I never actually expected my camouflage to _work_, but it did.

_Dang. I was hoping he would have been captivated by my beauty. Speaking of which… _I looked down at myself. I still had on my normal clothing: black shirt with neon triforce logo, grey jeans accessorized with a belt, and knock-off converse. The only weird thing was that even though I still looked like me, I also _didn't _look like me. I can't explain it well, but I appeared normal to my eyes. But I _knew _I was made out of pixels. I seemed to belong in this world, but that didn't make sense. I was from the _real _world. I shouldn't fit in here.

"Well," I said amazed. I took hold of my hair and examined it next. It was the same golden-blonde, shoulder-length hair as before the crash. _My hair looks like Link's hair… _I mused. I wondered if I could use this somehow. Thinking of Link reminded me of the scene that was about to take place in the spring.

I peeked through the gates once again. They were talking, or rather Iliad was (I knew Link was a mute!), but Link replied back with facial expressions (I assumed I couldn't see his face). Strangely, I knew _exactly_ what he was saying, or maybe I had just played this game too many times...

"I washed Epona for you," Iliad said. Link must have faced something wrong because Iliad scolded, "You should take better care of Epona, Link! I can't believe you would be so inconsiderate of your animals!"

Link flinched like she had attempted to slap him and probably put on puppy-dog eyes. That would get him out of _anything._

Iliad's gaze softened, "Just be careful next time. Don't work poor Epona here to death." She patted the horse's side. I noticed a small figure to the left of the two. I had forgotten that one of the village children, Colin, was there as well.

Anyway, I knew what was next; I've played the game enough times. I crept back to my bushes as I heard more people approaching. Yet, I knew that they were not people but ugly, green goblins crossed with hogs riding _on hogs _(also known as Bulbins on Bullbos).

_Talk about your lower class._ I was in the safety of my bushes before the goblin-hogs reached Orodona's spring. I peered out and saw, first handedly, what I had seen many times before. Two Bulbins burst through an explicitly stated "Do not enter! Romantic bonding moment in progress!" alert called "doors" and advanced on the unsuspecting villagers. The goblins swept past Link and went after the weaklings: Iliad and Colin. Both took off running while Link stood dumbfounded. One of the Bulbins shot an arrow into the back of Iliad. That forced Link into attempted action.

He got as far as lifting a foot up before he was hit on the head with a club and fainted. Maybe he should have been included in that "Weak List." He was ignored as an unconscious Colin (I didn't see how he was knocked out) and Iliad (she was knocked out by an arrow to her back?) were picked up and packed on Bullbos like saddlebags. A newcomer waltzes into the cove then. He is the king of the Bulbins and is cleverly named King Bulbin. He surveys the still peaceful area and removes a horn from his side. He sounds it to call upon the forces of evil. Evil responds by forming a red swirling Vortex of Death above the Spirit's Spring. It actually wasn't that menacing…

King Bulbin let out a satisfied grunt and signaled to the others that they were leaving. The troupe rolled out via _Transformers _style and left Link face-up in the shallow waters. I guess it was in the Pillaging Handbook to leave the men behind. I had not read that far yet…

I waited for Link to wake up, which was about two seconds later in the game. In actuality, it took a minute or so, but only because I grew bored of waiting and threw a rock at him. He woke up then. Link sat up and tensed a second later, showing he remembered being hit on the head with a wooden club by the goblin behind him that he conveniently _forgot_ about. He looked from side to side frantically, and in a state of hysteria, charged out and to the right (his right). I shot out of the bushes and sprinted after him. I was not going to waste this wonderful opportunity of stalking the real Link! Also, my common sense had not returned from earlier, so I didn't think of the possible consequences.

I tailed behind him a few feet until we reached a bridge. I halted at the bridge while Link continued across and on to the Twilight that was just beyond. The Twilight is basically as it sounds, but a bit more "psychedelic, man" with random black squares floating up from the ground. It was probably going to be a _bit _different from what I experienced playing the game at home.

Back on topic, a Twilight door was at the end of the bridge; it was really cool with its glowing golden-orange geometric patterns. Link ran up to it and practically fell over in an effort to stop moving forward. It was in that moment I decided I was going to throw my self-complied book of reasons _not _to interfere with an alternate universe out the window.

"NOEZ! Link! Don't go towards it!" I yelled as I dashed towards him.

He looked back with a very confused look that said, "What the heck?" Simultaneously, a hand reached out from the door and grabbed him. Link called out in surprise as he was pulled into the dreaded Twilight. Guess he wasn't a _total _mute.

_NO! How will he find his way around the outside world without an experienced guide?! He'll need me to survive!_ Armed with that knowledge, I ran up to the door, threw my arms open as a sign of surrender, and yelled, "Take me as well! I'm tasty and good to eat!"

"Never sell yourself short," my mom would always say, and besides, I thought those words would encourage the gatekeeper to make the right choice.

It did.

I was thrown to the other side just in time to see Link transform into a wolf and faint once again.

_Cool!_ I thought, _I wonder if I will-!_ I felt my cells start to become overly active, and hair start to grow exponentially all over my body. Everything started pulsating along with my eyesight. I jammed my eyelids shut and clenched my teeth. They began to shift in my mouth; my nails grew and curled towards the inside of my hands. Pain and exhilaration burned in my veins. I would have been screaming if my teeth weren't having a contest of strength. I fell to my knees and thrust my hands into the ground in front of me. I clutched roughly at the soil under my palms and hunched over. And then all at once, I felt my body take on a completely different form. I howled, or something like that. I fell on my side completely exhausted.

I managed to open my eyes for a fraction of a second to see Link being dragged off to who-knows-where and a large fuzzy paw where my hand should have been.

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**A: While Blue-Moon-Angel, another friend, and I took a trip elsewhere, we had a code for alerting each other when a hot guy was near, or within sight. It was random gibberish. We made it up because we did not want to be embarrassed by just yelling out, "OMG!" point, "A hot guy!" So yeah. I still use it (obviously). **


	3. Chapter 3: Twilight Tigress

**Bobbitt****Note: So, be prepared for a MAMMOTH of a chapter (well I think it's pretty long)! I'm not kidding. It's not for the faint of heart.**

**Please remember that during this WHOLE chapter, she cannot actually talk. She's just using animal ways of speaking (and Link ways). That is represented by the single 'quotation mark' so you are not confused between thoughts and animal talk… Yeah. Ignore it if you want. **

**Thanks to LionRoaR for editing this chapter (I did not know I was that bad of a writer ;p ). **

**Disclaimer! : I do not own Zelda, Link (frowny face), cut-scenes, flashbacks, tigers, dialogue, or anything else that I don't own. I am also not responsible for medical bills if someone faints from info-overload. So, here we go…**

*Ching, klink, ching.*

_Déjà vu,_ I thought, pulling out of unconsciousness. I was apparently in _Legend of Zelda_, but I had a hard time believing it was not a dream even though all signs pointed to "real." Signs such as I was lying on a cold, cobblestone floor and I kept hearing "ching" and "klink" (beep as well, but that did not seem to fit into the previous noise category), and I did not hear those sounds regularly in my bedroom. Also, I did not feel like myself. I had nagging instinct to claw something, and I felt hairy.

_Am I _purring_?_ A steady flow of low rumbling resonated of the walls. The source: me. _Why would I be purring? First off, I'm lying on an uncomfortable, cold floor, and, a more logical reason, I'M NOT A CAT!_ I opened my eyes, stretched, and stood up. The mode of stretching should have set off some red flags, but it was ultimately my height that roused my suspicions. _Shenme?_** (A/N: means "what" in Chinese)** I thought. This was not right; my line of sight should be higher than four feet! I felt like Acacia!

I looked down. _HOLY CRAP MUFFINZ! I HAVE PAWS! AND FUR! AND STRIPES!_ I continued on with much enthusiasm naming off other trivial stuff that I had now. The fact that I finally deduced was that I was a tiger, or rather a tigress. That was bizarre. Link was a wolf, an animal more native to _these_ lands, and I was a tiger…Yeah. Not so native. Maybe the outward appearance reflects the soul's true form or some spiritual crap like that. Either way, I was still a tigress.

I tried to walk towards the jail cell bars in front of me, but was stopped. My paw was chained to the floor. _Well that's dumb._ I tugged on the chain a bit. Nope. I was not going anywhere. _Sigh_. _How am I supposed to make my heroic escape? Oh yeah…I'm not. At least, not without Midna._ I sat down, succumbing to the instinct to start "cleaning" myself, and waited.

I stopped mid-lick when I noticed Link was next to me. He was in a defensive stance, baring his shiny, white canines. He was somewhat smaller than me, although he was still big for a wolf. He was dark gray (I was not sure that was his true color because we were in the twilight; it always messes with vision) and had hair sticking off the back of his neck like a porcupine (it's like that regardless of his mood). Link still had earrings in, and amazing blue eyes. He also had a cool pattern on his forehead. A growl reached my ears.

I set down my paw and faced him. I must have looked more menacing from the front because Link backed up. _I see we'll have to take this slowly,_ I thought. I sighed again (there goes five more minutes of my life) and tried to communicate "I. Come. In. Peace." to him.

He got the message; the look in his eyes changed from fear to still fear, but suspicion as well. 'Prove it,' he communicated back.

'Remember that girl you saw before coming in here?'

'Um, yeah.'

'That's me.' I showed my teeth in an attempt to smile. That scared him more. _Probably looks like I'm about to bite his head off. SIGH! Why don't you love me?_ I thought at him. Good thing he was not a mind reader otherwise that last comment would have caused some awkwardness, and I obviously did not mean it. I stopped smiling. 'I'm not here to hurt you.'

'I don't know that!' Link bared his sharp pearly whites again, 'Even if you were that odd girl, I don't know that you were trying to save me!'

'I screamed, "Don't go towards it!" Would someone trying to _hurt_ you scream that?'

'It could have been a trick!'

'Oh goodness, Link! Start thinking with your actual brain and not your instincts! Besides, why would I be chained up like you if I was an enemy?' I reasoned.

'An _elaborate_ trick.'

I would have slapped my forehead if I could, 'That would be too complicated for this game (not really).'

'What?' Link said puzzled.

'I mean…'

"I found you!" A new voice said.

_Thank goodness!_ I thought, relieved. I noticed the transparent box first. It said what Midna had just seconds before; then I looked at Midna. She was one of _them_, and by that I mean she was a twilight native. Midna was impish and very small; she could also defy gravity by floating. She had bright, flaming orange hair tied into a high ponytail, and sported an ancient looking stone crown that covered her right eye. I know now that it is actually part of the Fused Shadow she is going to send us to find. Moving on, her skin was black and white; the colors formed smoke and wave patterns on her skin, and she was basically naked in human standards. I don't know Twili standards.

Anyway, Link started to snarl at the hovering midget.

Echoy, high-pitched gibberish bounced of the walls that I comprehended to be Midna talking.

_Oooh! So those _are_ supposed to be words!_ Since I came to the _Legend of Zelda_ world, I had gained an awesome skill to understand _anything_ (even Link). I could probably even talk to trees at this rate. But this skill was helpful because then I did not have to read those dumb boxes all the time; I could just know that Midna had said "Oh! Aren't you scary!" sarcastically.

"Eee hee! Are you sure you want to be doing that?" Midna asked Link, "Snarling and glaring at me?"

Link continued growling. He had trust issues.

"Well," Midna fake sighed, "that's too bad. I was planning on helping you…if you were nice."

Link straightened up.

"Eee hee!" Midna laughed. "That's much better! You humans are obedient to a fault, aren't you? Oops!" Midna mock exclaimed. "But you AREN'T a human anymore, are you? You're a beast! Eee hee!"

Link lunged at her.

"There, there. You be a good boy and calm down. No need to bite!" I was completely calm (and ignored) the whole time, while Link was clearly on edge. I started to complain to myself about how I was important too, and I was being shunned. I completely missed what Midna said because I was too busy sulking.

"Here, I'll make you a deal," Midna called over her shoulder as passed through the cell bars. "If you can get over here, maybe I'll tell you! Eee hee!" Tell him what, I have no clue; I was zoned out. So newly unchained Link wandered around the small space, trying to find out a way out.

'Hey!' I called. Link looked back at me. 'Break the boxes in the corner and dig out,' I instructed. Link hesitated, but did what I said. I'm sure he would have figured it out eventually, but I wanted to speed up the process (I hate waiting).

When he was on the other side, I shot him an "I-told-you-I-was-not-your-enemy" look. Well, at least he did not look at me with _complete_ distrust anymore. Midna hopped onto wolf-Link's back while he was distracted; he started bucking and biting the air behind his head.

"Hmph! I guess you're not completely stupid after all!" Midna huffed. "Listen," she said soothingly while stroking Link, "I like you, so I think I'll get you out of here." Link stopped moving. "But in exchange for my help, you have to do EXACTLY as I say! So, are we all clear? Good. Now, come on! Get moving!" Midna dug her heels into Link's flanks.

'HEY!' I growled.

Midna turned around and floated towards me. "Oh. I forgot about you. Eee hee!" I rolled my eyes. "Now, is there something you want?" Midna raised her nonexistent eyebrow.

'I'm going with you guys,' I tried speaking. She did not understand. _Gah! Darn you Link! Already used to getting your point across with just facial expressions!_ I tried charades after that. It _still_ did not work, and I think I confused Midna more (I was never good at charades).

"Ok. I'm going to leave now," Midna said slowly; she turned away. I growled again; she looked back. I pointed with my tail at the chain around my right forepaw. "You want to be free?" I nodded. "You want to come with us?" I nodded a little more vigorously. An evil smirk spread across Midna's face. "Ok. You were a human once too. I'll make you the same deal," she broke the chain attached to my forepaw. "If you can make it out, I'll let you tag along, but you have to do EXACTLY what I say." I nodded again. Midna smirked, satisfied, and backed out of the cell again. Link sat down.

I knew I was not going to fit under that small opening in the bars no matter how much I tried, so I decided to go through the front door. I backed up. *Chink, clink, klang.* I charged at the gate and threw my shoulder into it. I could feel it weakening, so I backed up and did it again. On the third run, it gave way. The door launched into the opposite wall, dust floated around me, and I was crouched at the newly formed exit. _Guess I don't know my own strength_, I thought proudly.

Midna was surprised a little, "Alright. Let's get out of here before someone comes." Link was a bit wide-eyed too.

Midna sat on Link again, and we all started towards the door. Lucky for them, I knew all the game's secrets; I turned right into another cell.

Link looked back, 'Where are you going?'

'Out,' I replied. 'Trust me,' I beckoned. He followed. A handle dangled from the ceiling; I pulled it, and a trap door in the wall opened. I shot yet another "I'm-not-your-enemy" look at Link. He _still_ did not seem to trust me fully; my tail twitched in frustration. I turned and led them to some flooded dungeons. Midna did not talk much; only to tell us, or I guess Link, about random crap he could do as an animal (I already knew). An example is that he can see ghosts and listen to them.

After completing a few mediocre tasks, we ended up at an old, eroded, stone staircase. I walked up a few stairs, sat, and waited for Link to walk up. He fell.

"What are you doing?" Midna cried out. "Do I have to do everything?" She then explained that Link could jump over those nasty gaps by focusing on her. Of course it does not make sense! But neither does me existing in this game or being a tigress, so I cannot complain.

Link tried again and succeeded. It became obvious that I would have to make it up by myself when Midna and Link continued on without a glance back. I snorted, 'Yeah, you're welcome!' I backed up, and pelted forward. I sprang off the edge to a small stair island, leapt off that while I still had momentum, and reached the continuation of the stairs. _HA! Take _that_ coach Fin (my gym teacher)! _Link and Midna were already halfway to the top. I trotted up until I came within ten feet of the next ledge. I sprinted the last few feet and leapt.

Eventually, we all made it to the top. The easily accessible door was locked. _Of course,_ I thought bitterly. But lucky for us, another door was open! Yeah, lucky that it was two stories above us. It was a dumb place to put a door; it led nowhere from one side, and I'm guessing it was _pretty_ hard to access. Maybe they just wanted some people to die…

Anyway, Link had already figured out where he needed to be if he wanted to reach the open door. He jumped back and forth on some small ledges that coincidentally led to the dumb exit. _What are the odds!_ I thought sarcastically. I looked at the locked door; I was sure that one would not open like the jail door did, and besides, I had to follow Link. If I did not, I would probably be separated from him forever. I glanced up, _Sigh. This is going to be fun._ I tensed up my muscles and jumped to the first ledge.

It took forever to get on the last ledge because I had to pull myself up on every single ledge (each was probably a foot wide). _Finally!_ I cried on the last step. _The door!_ I leapt a little too early. I managed to land halfway through the doorway, and halfway over the edge.

'CRUD SCONES!' I yowled. I was not worried about my safety; I was in a video game for goodness sakes! No, I was worried that Link and Midna were long gone, and here I was close to catching up. I could not waste anymore time.

Jaws suddenly gripped the scruff of my neck, and started hauling me up. I literally clawed my way up (since I had claws).

'Yayz!' I rejoiced when all four legs were through the door. Link seemed to be smiling. 'Thanks,' I nodded at him. He nodded back and headed down the short hallway.

"Isn't the black cloud of twilight looking beautiful today?" Midna asked cheerfully. To add to the previous description I gave: the twilight made blue skies gray, gave everything a weird glowiness, and colors could not be truly identified. That's why I could not be sure if I was a blue tiger or not.

Anyway, we made our way across roofs to another random hallway (actually I think this was a window). I forgot Midna was taking us to see someone. I hopped down onto another stairway and padded up. Link was close behind. We strolled into a room; it was furnished with a bed, a small desk in the corner, a few chairs, and a fireplace. A mysterious figure in a cloak stood in front of a giant window. I sat down and waited for the cut-scene to start.

"You return, Midna," the figure spoke. It turned around. "I see you found the one you were looking for."

"Yeah," Midna replied, "he's not what I had in mind, but he will do. Eee hee!"

"And I see you found another," it said, focusing on me.

_Cool!_ I thought. _I'm part of the cut-scene!_

"Yeah," Midna commented while turning to look at me. "She seems promising too." A smirk crawled along her face. "So, don't you think you should explain to them what you've managed to do? You owe them that much…Twilight Princess! Eee hee!"

The figure knelt down in front of Link and me; I moved closer after discovering I was important. "Listen carefully," she said.

_Oh boy!_ I thought excitedly. _Story time!_

"This was once the land where the power of the gods was said to slumber. This was once the kingdom of Hyrule. But that blessed kingdom has been transformed by the king that rules the twilight…It has been turned into a world of shadows, ruled by creatures who shun the light."

_Cue flashback._ I've never experienced a flashback before, so it was pretty awesome. A scene played where guards protecting the princess were getting swatted around like flies by the Twili warriors. A guy clad in armor etched with Twili symbols and crowned with a grotesque helmet that looked like a frog licking something walked through the middle of the chaos.

"It is time for you to choose: surrender or die," the Twili knight stated. "Oh yes, a question for all the land and people of Hyrule…Life? Or death?" She obviously chose life.

"Twilight covered Hyrule like a shroud, and without light, the people became as spirits," the princess narrated. "Within the twilight, they live on, unaware they have passed into spirit forms…All the people know now is fear…Fear of a nameless evil…The kingdom succumbed to twilight, but I remain its princess…" she stopped as she pulled down her hood.

"I am Zelda," she finished.

_Yeah. Shocker._

"Oh, the twilight isn't that bad," Midna chimed cheerfully.

'Well obviously if you don't die in it,' I muttered. _Or if you're Dani._ Link glanced at me and smiled. _Looks like he doesn't hate me now. FINALLY!_

"You should be leaving now," Zelda said urgently. "The guard will be making his rounds soon." Midna nodded, and we move out.

As we are walking back down the staircase, we heard a door open. Midna stopped Link and held one finger to her lips signing "SHUT UP!"

"Wow, these guards are prompt," she murmured. Midna looked around and indicated the window we came in from. We both jumped up and walked out.

Once we are on a roof Midna confessed nonchalantly, "Ok, I'll send you back to the place where you stumbled into the twilight now. But are you sure you want to go back?"

Link's eyes said, 'Yes.'

"Ok, but I think you may be forgetting something. Eee Hee!" Midna hinted smugly; then she imitated Colin and Iliad's appearances. Link got the idea. "I'll make you a deal," Midna said while examining her nails. "I'll help you find them, but you will have to become my servant…and act like one too! And like a servant, you have to do exactly as I say, got it?" She gazed at me, "That goes for you as well!"

I raised a tigery eyebrow, 'I'm not looking for anyone.'

"If you want to tag along, you have to be my servant as well."

'Fine.'

"Good! Eee hee! I'll see you later!" Midna pointed her finger at us, and suddenly, Link and I started disintegrating into those dumb black twilight boxes and are sucked into a floating swirly portal (OF DOOM).

Link and I ended up in the Ordonian Spring (where we "stumbled" into the twilight). We looked at each other; we were still beasts. Link sighed; I examined my reflection, _Hm…so I AM blue. More of a gray-blue. Must have to do with that soul mumbo-jumbo again._

Midna appeared again (I did not think it was _later_ yet), but only as a silhouette with eyes and dimension. "Eee hee! As you can see, you cannot change back into a human just by returning to the light."

'Yeah? I couldn't tell,' I growled sarcastically. Midna was focused on Link. _Chick magnet,_ I thought flatly.

"If you want to find your friends, you'll have to enter the twilight again, but you can only do so with the cooperation of someone on the other side," she smiled. "That would be me. So, you'll need my help, but you need to help me first," Midna explained. "I want you to find me a suitable sword and shield. Go on now!" she said impatiently. She transformed into Link's shadow. Link glanced at me.

I signaled with my head, 'Let's go.'

'Thank you,' he responded.

'Welcome.' We padded through the darkness towards Link's hometown. Two goblins blocked our path. _Guess it's time to figure out if I can fight or not._ We each charged at one; it was easier than I thought. I am guessing it was the animal instincts.

A squirrel appeared after they were killed, 'Thank you for getting rid of those monsters. A group of monsters came earlier and stole the village's children.' Link looked horrified.

_Oh noez! Not the _children_!_ I mock exclaimed.

'I know you aren't one of them. You smell like Ordonian trees,' it told Link. The squirrel stared at me, 'I have no clue about you.'

_Ashley is unamused,_ I thought while frowning.

'She's with me,' Link said. 'She's good.'

_YAYZ!_ I screamed in my head. _Link trusts me!_ I would have done a happy dance, but I was a tiger, and I was not alone.

We turned and continued to the village. 'You can talk to other animals as well,' the squirrel called after us.

'Where to?' Link asked.

'Over to the water mill place,' I replied. 'And stay hidden.' We crawled up and listened to two villagers talking. Nothing really mattered until the word "shield" was brought up. I already knew where to find the sword and shield, but Link and Midna needed to hear it. So, we retrieved them and got attacked by a hawk in the process. Also, I figured out that I cannot dig, so I could not go and grab the sword.

Ultimately, we ended up in front of the pond.

We were walking past the spring when we heard, "Wait."

'GHOST!' I yowled.

'Really?' Link exclaimed.

'No, not really,' I answered bluntly. 'Let's go,' I said, trotting past him into the water of the cove. As soon as he entered, a magical fence surrounded us, and the sky dimmed more (it is still night).

"Beware…a dark warrior. It approaches," the voice warned.

_Really? I couldn't tell._ Sarcasm is my middle name. A portal like the one Link and I were teleported through blocked out the sky. The only difference is that it glowed red, while mine glowed a tealy-blue. A Twili warrior is launched out and crashes to the ground; I just stood there. They were _much_ bigger in person; Link, on the other hand, was quick to react. He took it down pretty easily. The dead body turned into those annoying twilight blocks and formed a permanent portal in the sky. The spring was illuminated like Las Vegas after the thing was dead, and a majestic, shiny orb rose from the ripples in the water. A figure slowly appeared; it was a goat.

_Well that's anti-climatic._ I whispered to Link, 'Hey Link! It's goat! Don't you herd goats?' Link ignored me.

"O brave youth…" the spirit said almighty-like and very dramatically. It ignored me too.

_Is it too good to use "h's" on its "oh's?" _I wondered skeptically. I had read the box.

"I am one of four light spirits that protect Hyrule at the behest of the gods," the spirit continued. "I am Ordona. The black beast you slayed was a shadow being. It had come to seize the power of light I wield. My brethren in Hyrule have already had their light stolen by these fell beasts. The entire kingdom has been reduced to a netherworld ruled by the cursed powers of darkness. The blight will not stop with Hyrule. Before long, the entire world of light will fall into the hands of the king who rules the twilight. To save this land from the king of twilight, the lost light must be recovered. The three light spirits that have lost their light must be revived. There is but one who can revive them and redeem this land…You."

_That wasn't predictable at _all_,_ I thought sarcastically.

"You still have not discovered your true power…Those transformed by the twilight usually cannot recover their original forms…Unless…If you were to return to Faron Woods where you were first transformed…If you were to revive the light spirit…There, by the power of the light spirit, you may find the means to regain your other state of being…" Ordona faded away.

'Well, that was a random exit,' I commented. 'Let's go.'

'Wait!' Link shouted. 'So I have to save the whole world now?'

'Yeah, pretty much.'

'Why me?'

'Did you _not_ hear what that goat said? You are the only one who can do it!' After a second I added on, 'And you have a tattoo of the triforce on your hand, er…paw. Now let's get going Link, Reviver of Light Spirits!' I turned to go. Link was still hesitating. 'You want to save your friends, right?'

'Of course!'

'This is the way to do it. Now come on!' I beckoned Link with my tail.

Midna took form, "This beast has a point. If you don't revive the spirits, or help me, your friends and the world you live in will cease to exist. Eee hee!" Midna always laughed at the misfortune of others, that is why she is known as Midna, the Anti-Social.

Link finally followed me, vigor renewed, as we trekked to the twilight door; at the door, Midna passed through it as if it were a mere shroud of darkness…_wait_. A hand reached out from the door, like last time, and pulled us through.

After Midna pulled us through, she tested the shield and weapon out. She nearly took off Link's head and wore the shield like it was a mask. _Pssh! Idiot._ Midna deemed them unworthy and tossed them away; she saved them for _Link_ though. I got nothing.

"So, where would this spirit reside?" Midna muses aloud on the other side.

_I knooooow,_ I sing in my head. I walk to another pond. Gold, glowing mist floats over it (a.k.a. the essence of light spirit).

"The dark clouds of dusk cover this land…" it gasped breathily.

_Oh great,_ I sighed,_ ANOTHER_ _cut-scene. My goodness!_

"This drape of shadows is called…twilight."

_I think we figured that out._

"In this twilight, those who live in the light…become as mere spirits…"

_My GOSH! I've _heard_ this sob story already! These spirits are too redundant. Wish I had a wii-mote,_ I thought glumly. I'll summarize the _new_ information: we had to find and kill evil bugs, and retrieve the light they have and store it in a "Vessel of Light." That's it. Oh, and you can only see them using your psychic animal abilities.

'Finally!' bursts from my mouth when the cut-scene finished. 'Let's go kill some bugs so we can be human again!' Link nodded, and Midna rolled her eyes (she is no longer a silhouette). 'Righto. Let's go!' I started running.

"The bugs are _that_ way," Midna pointed in the opposite direction.

'Oh…well that's what maps are for!" I yelled as I sprinted towards the first bug.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well, I could only join Link and Midna for half of the extermination. When we had to cross a swamp filled with poisonous gas using only tiny tree branches and unstable wooden stakes, I bowed out. 'There is _no way_ I'm going to be able to make it across,' I said decisively.

'Are you sure?' Link checked.

'Yeah.' Link nodded and took off, jumping nimbly from small foothold to small foothold. _Yeah, there is NO WAY I would have been able to do that._ Yes, I know it is a video game, but I did not want to find out what happened when I died.

I turned around and backtracked to the pond where we would meet up and get our old selves back.

**Bobbitt note: Woo! Five cut-scenes, two flashbacks, and eight and a half typed pages later, I'm done with chapter two!**

**I finished this chapter in a hurry because I want to play Twilight Princess! I decided to help get things accurate, I would play the part I'm going to write about, then write about it and not continue 'til that chapter was done. Also, most of the dialogue Midna, Zelda, Squirrel, and the spirits said are straight from the game (I don't own that either). So, review please! :3**


	4. Chapter 4: Mutes are Liars

**So, here's the next chapter. Not much to say up here…**

**Thanks to Hina Kita, Azul Luna Angel, and LionRoar for editing. **

**DISCLAIMER! I don't own Legend of Zelda, tunics, **_**Inception,**_** almost-skin-tight pants, spirits, or talking.**

**And about one-third of this chapter is dedicated to Bloody Kirai because she was the first to review, and I think one of the only ones to add this story to their fav. stories. I thank you .**

**Triforce 3**

"I am Faron."

_Oh goodness, I'm starting to HATE cut-scenes,_ I thought glumly. _I'm on the _sixth_ cut-scene and not even to the first temple! Geez, I know they are informational and all, but I am already aware of the info! I wish I had the "A" button, or that the spirits would talk faster. I understand that they are all high and mighty, and whatnot, but we humans actually have _lives. Well. Ranting – be it mental or no - was not going to help me at all; I tuned into the one-sided conversation again.

"I am one of the spirits of light who dwell in Hyrule. By the order of the gods, I protect this forest," the giant, glowing monkey breathed.

_Oh wow. I didn't even miss anything!_ I sighed and glanced at Link. His clear, blue wolf eyes were intent on what Faron had to say; I guess he did not know what the dealeo was. The cut-scenes were for him; I had to grin and bear these, for Link's sake.

"O brave youth…" Faron gasped.

_I see you don't use "h's' either, _I noted.

"In the land covered in twilight, where people roam as spirits, you were transformed into a blue-eyed beast…That was a sign…"

_Clearly,_ I sniffed.

"It was a sign that the powers of the chosen one rest within you…and that they are awakening. Look at your awakened form…" I looked over at Link and started drooling, again. Luckily, he was too occupied with his sudden wardrobe change to notice; I quickly wiped the saliva away, clamped my mouth shut, and inspected his traditional hero attire. Link's chinchy Ordonian shield and sword were secured to his back by a broad leather strap that started at his right shoulder, crossed his torso, and looped around while connecting to a smaller strip that reached halfway around his waist. He wore a white, turtleneck-ish, long-sleeved shirt under chain mail and a short-sleeved, green tunic. Many have called it a dress; I did not give a crap.

_Tunic, dress, what does it matter? He looks pretty dang hot!_ Anyway, a belt equipped with a few pouches wrapped around his middle; gauntlets and gloves covered both arms and a forearm protector was attached to his left limb. Link's boots seemed to be leather-made, and his pants were white. Numerous people had also called his pants "tights." They did not seem to be made out of nylon or of the same material as tights; they had wrinkles like a sturdy fabric and had fricken' _seams._ I doubt this game contained the notorious spandex lots of people knew Link for. This version exhibited "almost-skin-tight pants." Moving on, sitting atop his golden head, was the infamous pointed, green, sock cap. Somehow, it stayed glued to the back of his head, and somehow, someone thought it up.

I finally looked down at myself; I had not changed from the last time I was in human form. I sported the same foreign, modern clothing from the real world; I was going to stick out like a sore thumb, but I _refused _to wear a dumb dress!

"The green tunic that is your garb once belonged to the ancient hero chosen by the gods…" the floating monkey spirit continued. "His power is yours. His is the true power that slept within you.

"A dark power rests in the temple deep within these woods."

_Good!_ I thought. _We're wrapping up!_

"It is a forbidden power. Long, long ago, I and the other spirits of light locked it away. Because of its nature, it is a power that should never be touched by any who dwell in the light. But this world weeps beneath a mantle of shadows, and so there is no choice…You must match the power of the king of shadows." Faron poofed and started to fade away, "If you would seek this forbidden power, then proceed to the temple in the forest depths."

_You don't have to tell me twice!_

I glanced over at Link; he was already talking to Midna whom appeared. "What a shame…" she started. "I mean, maybe you'd rather just wander as a spirit like the rest of them, totally unaware of what was happening for all eternity…right?' Midna mused. She smiled, as a hopefully happier thought popped into her head, "Well, isn't this convenient? I was about to head to the temple myself." Link did not respond. "Hey, look…You want to help your friends, right?"

_Of_ course_ he does!_ I scoffed.

"The way I see it, maybe they're in that temple, waiting for you to rescue them…" She gave him a few seconds to ponder, then said, "Well, good luck, Mr. Important Hero! Eee hee!" Midna stared over his shoulder at me, nodded, and morphed back into Link's shadow. He did not move right away, but soon enough turned around to face me. I think his eyes widened a bit.

With my hands in my pockets, I smiled at him, "Yo." He visibly sized me up, stared into my face for a fraction longer, then looked away.

"You have the Triforce on your shirt," an unidentified voice stated. My eyes enlarged; I glanced wildly all around the spirit cove, settled on the water, and leapt towards Link with a revelation.

I wrapped my left arm around his neck and pointed at the water. "Link!" I yelled. "I think the water is talking to me!"

"…No."

"No, eh?" I said quizzically. "Then…" I spun us around, "It must have been the DIRT!"

"No," the voice said vexed.

"No still?" I tapped my free index finger to my chin, "then the grass?"

"NO!" the voice shouted in my ear. I twisted my head towards Link; he was glaring at me. Suddenly, the truth struck me, like a revenge-driven herd of moose; I jumped away from him like he was a murderer, or Robert Pattinson, and landed in a surprised stance.

"_Link?" _I exclaimed, "You can _talk?_"

"Yeah!" He said exasperated. Now that I think about it, the voice _was_ soothing, masculine, and attractive. Of _course_ it belonged to Link! He was attractive. Why would I ever think it belonged to _dirt_? I could smack myself for the stupidity.

But a lifetime of believing him to be a mute roused suspicions. I stared at him skeptically, "How come you don't talk a lot?"

"Because I do not really like to talk to people I do not know."

_Hm, a _shy_ guy, eh?_ I grinned inwardly.

"Besides, no one ever really required an answer that a simple 'yes' or 'no' could get the point across. Even then, a nod or shake of the head suffices." Link narrows his eyes accusingly at me, "Why are you wearing such strange clothing? And how do you know so much about me?"

_CRAP! _I groaned, _He noticed! Darn you perception skills!_ "Um…well," I scratched the back of my head, "I'm good at stalking?"

Link sniffed, "I would suppose so if you were able to wander around the village in _that_ garb."

"Hey!" I retorted. "It's not _that_ bad…Is it?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's pretty bizarre," he confirmed. He stared perplexed at me, as if trying to figure out how many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie pop. An idea dawned on his face, and he said disbelievingly, "You must be related to Princess Zelda."

"What?" I tried to hide how off guard that comment caught me. _Shenme? Where did _that_ come from?_

Link gestured to my torso, "You bear the crest of the three goddesses. Only the royal family and guard wear it, and you don't seem tough enough to be in the royal guard." He shrugged, "Or so I have heard." He scrutinized my face, looking for similarities between my "relative" and me.

_Maybe I can get out of this situation without being portrayed as a psycho after all! Mental fist-pump! _I needed to make the most out this gift of a lie! "Alright! You got me," I held up my hands in a sign of surrender. He stopped inspecting, and looked me straight in the eye.

Man, Link had some breath-taking eyes. I took a deep breath and started on a hopefully convincing B.S. story on how I knew so much about him, and why I was wearing the "crest" of the royal family. "Well, yes, I am related to Princess Zelda," I confessed. "But she's more like a distant relative, or a second cousin that I've only met once when we were really young." Link did not interrupt, nor did it look like he was going to. He seemed like a good listener.

"I was sent to Hyrule for a while because my country was amidst a civil war and I apparently needed a suitable place to learn 'hard work' or 'discipline' or something like that," I rolled my eyes. The last few words were not far from the truth. My parents wanted me to learn how to work hard. "I arrived and was immediately enlisted in the royal guard. I did not acquire an intense job; I ran messages and finished mediocre tasks that did not involve fighting." I paused to figure out where I was taking this story, and what questions still needed to be answered.

"Eventually, my skill for stealth was discovered, and I was sent out to stalk and investigate 'suspicious' strangers that would come into contact with Zelda." I stared him in the eye with fake misgivings, "Apparently you came up as suspicious. I stalked you and found out _all_ your secrets." He was taken aback. One thought entered my head and was too perfect to resist, "I lived in your basement."

Link backed up; he was scared and blushing. I have no clue what he was blushing _about_, but that was confirmation that he was convinced. I smiled inwardly, _HA! Sucker!_ I was feeling extremely proud of myself for fabricating such a believable story off the top of my head. I should do improv.

"I was kidding about living in your basement," I smirked. "And you checked out. You don't seem dangerous to the Princess."

Link noticeably relaxed, "Oh."

"Are you blushing?" He shook his head. I smirked more, "Sure." I glanced around, "Well, now that that's out of the way, let's roll." I walked towards a tunnel on the right.

"Hold on a moment!" Link said.

I looked back, "What?"

"I don't know your name."

_Whoops. Forgot about that._ I wheeled around and padded up to him. I held out my hand, "Hello. I'm Ashley."

He took and shook it, "Hi. My name is Link, but you already knew that."

"That I did Goat boy." We released hands. "Now let's go." He nodded and we walked together down the tunnel.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link and I did not talk much (not surprising) as we strolled en route to the Faron Temple. I remembered that we needed to get a key from the bird hobo that sold lantern oil. I told Link to start looking for rupees; I forgot that _I_, the player, made Link greedy. Without me, he would probably just wander from temple to temple penniless; maybe even give whatever money he managed to come across to a "good cause." When I was in the real world, I would always slash through the weeds like I was in a jungle with a machete, and make sure I sliced every single blade of grass. I should have started the first lawn mowing service; that would certainly rake in the money.

Anyhow, the reason we needed money was so Link could receive a bottle of lantern oil, which was needed, AND an empty bottle. Those were always helpful; they could store fairies, water, and potions, all helpful in his quest for righteousness.

In time, we scraped up one hundred rupees for the bottle. Link obtained the key, and we were on our way again; I walked fast, and Link rolled. I smiled at that.

Eventually, we made it to the swamp filled to the brim with poisonous, purple fog I refused to jump over before. Link was staring off into the distance, trying to figure out how to cross I am guessing. I just waited, ahead of the game.

He took out his lantern and a female monkey (she was wearing a flower) stole it, hoisted it onto a stick, and ran towards the deadly gas. Link stared after her like a kid whose candy was just taken.

Midna formed, "You idiot! While you were staring off into dreamland, your lantern got stolen!"

"Yeah!" I chimed in and smacked him on the back on his head. "Go get it, Dingle-fritz!" Link rubbed his head and glared at me. I grinned and waved back. Frowning, he walked after the monkey that was clearly beckoning us. He was observant enough to notice that I knew facts that I should not, but when it came to understanding obvious body language, he was as perceptive as a blind man with noise-canceling headphones on? I shook my head; this game was messed up.

As soon as Link was close enough, the monkey - let's call her Charlotte - started circling the lantern above her head, and the fog dispersed within a ten-yard span. She hobbled forward a bit and waved us after her.

I tried to follow her, but Link held out his arm in front of me. "Wait," he interjected. "What if it's trying to kill us?"

I laughed, "She's a _monkey_." And left it at that. I walked again, and so did he, cautiously. _Oh Link, if only this game wasn't clouding your mind, I bet you'd be smarter._

Charlotte led us through the swamp; Link had to kill a few bats and plants, but that was easily taken care of. On the other side, she dropped the lantern, ran to a tunnel, stopped, signaled for us to follow, and continued through. Link picked up his lantern.

_Dananana! You got your lantern back!_

I chuckled, _That won't ever get old._ We resumed walking through the tunnel and emerged on the other side. Charlotte was out of sight.

Link looked around, "Where did the monkey go?"

"Ah, don't worry about her, you'll see each other again soon enough," I patted his shoulder. He gave me a strange look, and walked forward a few feet; I trailed behind.

In due time, we reached the temple. At the beginning of the walkway that led to the temple was a golden wolf. Link looked at it suspiciously. "Don't worry," I encouraged, "It won't attack you! Animals _love_ you." I pushed him towards it; the sooner he learned the "hidden skill" the better! He warily approached the canine. When only seven feet were between the two, Goldie growled at Link; he unsheathed his sword, prepared to fight. The wolf jumped and attacked. Yeah, so I lied about being assaulted, so what? It had to happen eventually. And besides, he was transported to an alternate universe, unharmed I might add, for a bit, and only to learn from the "Ancient Hero" himself. I was not lying about being loved by animals though; just wait until we reach the cat town.

I found a comfortable place to lie down and nap; I would probably have half an hour before he returned. Link did not sleep at _all _during the game, except maybe when the wii console was off, but I did not know for sure. This would probably be my only chance to sleep until the next "hidden move." I was not tired, but I told myself I would be soon enough, assuming that days and nights here were unlike those back home. _Maybe I have jet lag; can jet lag be acquired by traveling to a different world?_ I pondered while trying to fall asleep. Well guess I would find out. _This would have been a good science fair project…dang._

My middle school reminiscing was rudely interrupted by, "I see you're enjoying your time in Legend of Zelda."

I moaned, eyes closed, "Yeah, sure, whatever; just let me sleee-hold the ONIONS!" I bolted up right. "How did you…?" I stopped. Standing - well _levitating _-a few feet off the ground in front of me was a gorgeous guy. He was tan, muscular, and tall (but that might just be because he was hovering). _Why does _everyone_ float_? I grumbled. I rose to my feet to get a better look at him. He was not wearing a shirt, which showcased his tattoos that curled up both arms, and around his torso. They were a very light color, shimmered in sunlight, and were very small; the details of the tattoos were not easily seen. Around his neck hung a golden chain with a circular pendant; a misty jewel was welded into the pendent. He was, thankfully, wearing pants; he wore an obi, and random fabric hung from that. He had poofy capris that ended mid-calf, and tight socks that were cut off on the heel and most of his foot; they began where the pants stopped. The wardrobe was alternating shades of violet.

Moving onto his face, it was oval-ish, and pretty much perfect; his features were symmetrical and flawlessly placed. He even had a small mole under his left eye. His irises were a light violet, and were framed by dark purple, wavy, messy hair. It looked kinda greasy…or maybe it was just _that_ shiny. Even though he was _extremely_ attractive, the aura he gave off annoyed me; it was sort of a "that's-right-I'm-hot-love-me" vibe. I hated those types of guys.

I looked him up and down, "I'm glad to see you sport _actual_ pants." He just smiled, amused.

I had to ask a question that had been bothering me throughout my inspection of him, "Sooo…why are you completely purple?"

He looked a bit surprised, "You don't want to know who I am, or how I knew that you were in Legend of Zelda?"

"Nope. That's second priority. Why are you purple?"

He frowned and glared at a distant memory, "Because red and orange were taken…"

"Hmmm, well that explains _everything_," I said sarcastically.

He focused on me again and said, "I can't really explain without describing who I am first."

I sighed, "Ok, FINE. Go ahead, just let me get comfortable." I sat down on a flat rock while muttering, "I hate cut-scenes."

He was sitting cross-legged in front of me (still a foot above the ground) when I looked back up. I placed an elbow on my knee and cupped my chin in my hand, "Ok, shoot."

He grinned, "Ok, to start off, my name is Jorde."

I snorted, "What kind of name is _that._"

He cocked his head, "What kind of name is Midna?"

"Touché, Jo."

"Anyway, I am one of the almighty gods that rule this world."

"Aren't there only goddesses?" I asked skeptical. I had only ever heard of goddesses, even if they were not important in this game.

"Yes, they are my sisters. Well, more of half-sisters."

Half_-sisters? Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised after learning about the Greek gods from Becky._ "Yes, continue."

Still smiling, Jorde resumed, "We made this world together; I made the universe for them, but they took all the credit." He shook his head, "I should have seen it coming, but I ignored it. And now _they_ are the ones worshipped while I'm the one that doesn't exist and lives in solitude." Jo was going into rant mode, "They wouldn't have _anything_ without me! They wouldn't even have their dumb Triforce or heroes-"

"Uno momento por favor!" I said shocked. "What do you mean, 'They wouldn't have their dumb Triforce?' "

He smirked, "You have no doubt seen the three triangles stacked upon one another?"

I rolled my eyes, "Have you _not_ seen my shirt?"

He shrugged, "Just making sure. Anyway, I'm the extra triangle."

"The extra…triangle?" I looked down at my shirt. There were the three small triangles that obviously represented the three goddesses, but the extra triangle? Well, there was the giant triangle, but it was not complete without out another small triangle…"Good Night Nurse!" I shouted. "The middle one!"

Jorde nodded, "Yes, I am the middle, absent one. My sisters kicked me, their handsome brother, out because they thought one big triangle did not look as appealing as three stacked one each other," Jo said bitterly.

_Well that's pretty dumb, though I understand their logic,_ I thought. _The Triforce looks pretty cool without Jo there._

"So, they booted me out, but not before I got to pick a 'hero,' and transfer whatever power to that hero, like them," he continued smugly.

"So, who is Jo's hero?" I inquired.

"You," he said cheerily.

_I should have seen that coming._ "But why _me?_ I wasn't even _in _this world until today!"

"Didn't matter," he said arrogantly. I raised an eyebrow. "Well, you know that the three goddesses have their power over some elements, correct?"

"Correct."

"Well, I basically have the element of 'dimensions.' "

"PFFT!" I sniggered. "_Laaame._ What can you do?"

"I can travel through, see, kill, create, and alternate different dimensions, universes, whatever you'd like to call them," Jorde said leaning back against a nonexistent wall; he was obviously proud of himself. "That's how I know that you think this is a game, and how I know about your world/you. All things considered," he added pompously, "I'm the most powerful one out of the four of us. And yet, here I am, a nobody."

"Yeah, ok. I don't care about your sob story," I said holding my hand up. "Now what does this have to do with me _specifically_?"

"Well, you're my 'chosen one,' so you have some ability to control universes," he said simply.

"Cool! So what can I do? Make random species of flowers? Turn fish into gophers? Change wine into water?" I asked excitedly.

"No," Jo said, amused, "You can teleport between different cosmos."

"That's _it?_" Well, that was boring.

"No, there's more."

"Good!" _I could rule this world…MWAHAHAHA!_

"You can't teleport without Midna," he stated.

_Gah! NOEZ!_ "Way to rain on my parade, Jo," I said deflated.

"I couldn't give you _complete_ power. What power you have, comes from my supply," Jo said offended. "And besides, do you see Link with any special powers?"

"He's a chick magnet."

Jorde burst out laughing, "That's not a power, that's a _gift_."

"Fine! He can turn into a wolf!"

"He is the chosen hero. You can turn into an animal as well."

I rubbed my chin, "Oh yeah. But wait! What does that make me then? A chosen hero too? Do I have a tattoo of the Triforce?"

"Close," he said. "You are the chosen _sidekick._ And your tattoo is on your left hand," he added.

I stared, "The chosen…_sidekick_? Not another chosen hero?"

"Nope. He has priority over you since one, he's from this world, and two, I am not one of the goddesses. They have this set up where their chosen ones have the right of way."

"Well that's dumb." Who knew Link would cheat me out of a title?

I glanced at my left hand. "WHOA! When did _that_ get there?" And by _that_ I meant the tattoo of the Triforce. It was like Link's only the negative version; the three outer triangles were outlined instead shaded, and the inside triangle was filled in._You'd think that I'd notice a big, black mark on the back of my hand. If I know this world like the back of my hand, we're in trouble._

"Hey," I said as a new thought entered my head, "You know how the goddesses have their secondary titles of Courage, Wisdom, and Power; what's yours?

Jo smiled wide, "I'm the god of Awesomeness."

I smiled too, _Ashley approves. This means I have increased awesomeness._

"So, why are you telling me this?" I questioned getting back to a meaningful topic. There had to be a reason besides telling me I was the "chosen _sidekick_."

He stretched, "In essence, I'm your 'guardian angel,' and I came to warn you that Link's life is connected to yours. So if he dies, you die. The light spirits have never heard of you or me, so I had to deliver the message myself."

"WHAT? How does _that_ work?" I cried, almost speechless.

"In your world, you are the one controlling him, so when he dies, it's game over." He shrugged, "The same rules apply here. You are the player; his life is connected to your game time, but the only difference is that you are _in_ this world, and you actually die."

My mouth hung open a bit as the full nature of this truth hit me. _I could truly die here. I wouldn't ever get back from here - see my friends, my dog, Patrick Stump, or the real sun again!_ I hoped I would not hyperventilate; I had not experienced that sensation, and I did not plan on doing so.

"If I were you," Jo said inspecting his hand indifferently, "I'd learn how to fight and defend _fast_."

_Well thanks for stating the obvious, Jo. And thanks for showing concern! I can really _feel_ it rolling off of you in waves_, I thought sourly. "Yeah? No way! You gunna help out at_ all_? You are my," cue finger bunnies, " 'guardian angel.' "

"Of _course_ I will!" he said optimistically. "But not right now."

"WHAT? _Why?_" I pouted.

"Because, I already have something planned out for you; all you need to do is _wait_," he said, emphasizing the "wait" part.

I crossed my arms, "Fine."

Jo looked up suddenly and off into the distance. "Well," he said standing up while brushing his pants off, "It's about time I split; Link's about to reappear."

_What? NO! I still have tons of questions!_

"Where will you go?" was the first thing that flew out of my mouth; I hoped it was something along the lines of "to help you."

"I'm going to travel universes," Jo stretched, "now that I have an excuse." He glided around to head wherever he was going.

"Wait! One more question."

He rotated back towards me, "Shoot."

_Ok, Ashley, last question until who knows _how_ long; make it a good one!_ "Am I dreaming?" _Well, not what I wanted, but still good to know. Maybe this is like Inception, so if I die, I'll just wake up in the real world._

Jo smiled, "Stand on that rock and fall backwards." I stared at him distrustfully. "Don't worry," he persuaded, "I'll catch you." I frowned, but did what he said; I stood on the rock and fell backwards, arms spread. Jo did not catch me.

"Are you in pain?" he asked bending over me while trying not to smile.

"YES," I gasped, stunned. I think I landed on some rupees.

"Are you still here?"

"Noooo, I just happen to responding to your questions perfectly purely on coincidence!" I groaned sarcastically.

"Then no," he winked, laughed, and disappeared.

I bit my lip to hold back inappropriate comments; they had no use if the one they were directed at was not here. I slowly sat up and moved back to my original napping space.

**I was a firm believer that Link was a mute, but could somehow get the point across with his face. BUT after watch a cut-scene in Twilight Princess, I changed my mind; Link's mouth was actually MOVING as if he was talking in that scene. My mind was on the verge of exploding. Yeah. **

**REVIEW! Please. :3 Next chapter out in 3, 2, 1…**


	5. Chapter 5: Chain of Fools

**ZERO! Yeah, here it is. It was originally supposed to be part of the third chapter, but Hina said "IT'S TOO LOOOOONG!" So I cut it off. Yeah. **

**Thanks to my editors (Hina, Azul, LionRoar).**

**DIS-CLAIM-ER! I don't own Legend of Zelda, bomb bugs, baboons, creepy fowl, shields, or slivers. **

**About three-eighths of this chapter is dedicated to Bloody Kirai. Whichever three-eighths you want.**

**Triforce 4**

Link had arrived not even a minute after Jorde left, so my nap (and thinking time) was postponed. Link told me about his whole ordeal with the "Ancient Hero;" he seemed genuinely excited about it. I did not tell him about the new info I had just learned, or Jo. I lied and said I dozed off.

We entered the temple, and as it turns out, Charlotte was in need of saving again; man, she just could not get a break! Link saved her; I cowered in the corner. I did not have _any_ self-defense training, except watching Jackie Chan movies and Naruto, and we all know how helpful _that_ is. I did not have a weapon either. _Why did Jo leave me without one? Some "guardian angel" _he_ was._ I guess this was an "assembly required" world.

Once Charlotte was free again, we pursued her to where we first saw the evil baboon. Following that short cut-scene, Charlotte took us to her boyfriend that needed to be rescued. We also found a creepy chicken-like fowl with an unproportional head that was apparently a female; that was a scary moment. Her name was Ooccoo, and has a son called Ooccoo Jr.; her only purpose was to warp us out of temple if we wanted. I never used her when I would play.

Link had saved four out of the seven monkeys before we reached the mini-boss door. _Four down, three more to go_, I thought; the baboon could be added to that list, I guess since he was technically possessed.

"Alright Link, open the door," I said. He nodded, unlocked the door, and opened it. He ran in; I was right behind him. As it turns out, the darkness on the other side of the door was _in fact_ real; the game failed to show that there is a long, black hallway that Link has to proceed through instead of having the room immediately after the door (like everywhere _else_). _What idiot designed this?_ I could not see a thing; it was so dark, that I could not see my finger poking my eye. _My goodness! It's like being dead!_ I knew that it was an enclosed area because Link's footsteps echoed off the walls. I sprinted straight and hoped that there were no curves.

After what I assumed to be fifty feet, I pelted, face first, into a wall; well, I thought it was a wall.

"Ashley? Is that you?" Link asked tense.

"Yeah," I answered, face splattered against his shield. _My goodness! Link might as well be a wall! I don't think he moved an inch when I crashed into him._ I removed my face, _What's this? AH! Gosh darn TIDDLY-WINKS! It was his wooden shield! Now I'll find slivers up my nose five years from this point! _I rubbed my face and grumbled. "Link, are you going to open the door?"

"…"

"Link, I can't see your head."

"I know that! And yes, I'm going to open the door."

"Ok, then _go._" A light blinded me. _Blinded by the light!_ I sang mentally. Quoting random lyrics was almost an involuntary response for me.

_So this is what death was supposed to be like_. Not very exciting in my book, but enough with the morbid thoughts. I had to help Link win this battle! Or else I was dead…

We entered the mini-boss "chamber;" it was littered with leaves, weeds, and other jungley vegetation. A large square room connected to a greater circular one; the circular room contained totem poles stationed in a circle with one in the middle. The white baboon was perched atop the one closest to us; he spotted us, screeched, and threw his boomerang at the carnivorous plants that hung from the tall ceiling. The boomerang returned to the baboon, and he laughed at us and slapped his bottom mockingly. I would have given him a weird look, but the mutated meat-eating plants were coming after Link and I.

"EEK!" I yelped and dove into the nearest weeds. _Oh weeds! How I have missed you so!_ I probably would have hugged them, but I heard "Hut! Huh! HYAHH!" _Oh yeah, Link._ I parted the tall brush and peeped through; he was taking care of them easily. I tried to convince myself that I leapt into these bushes so Link would not have to worry about me, and not because I was a coward.

He charged towards "the Donald" of the monkey world; he jumped from totem pole to totem pole, stopped on one, and chucked the boomerang at the green hero. Link jumped to the side, but not fast enough. I saw it hit Link, and the signature red tint that signals he lost part of his health consumed his body momentarily. I became very aware of the three hearts above my head. "DODGE BETTER, DOORKNOB!" I shouted. He took a second to glare back at me, and then focused on Donald again. He was hopping around some more, stopped, and threw the boomerang again. Link completely avoided it this time, and paused. "Roll into the totem pole he's standing on!" I yelled, hands bordering my mouth. Without a second thought, Link launched himself into a somersault aimed at the wooden post. The pole became off balanced, thus distracting the baboon for an instant. The boomerang flew through the air and hit Donald in the head; he fell off the post. "Spank the monkey!" Link stared at me, appalled. "With your sword, Idiot!" I bellowed turning red. I guess it was more of stabbing his bottom, but "spanking" was how some Legend of Zelda website described it. Link stabbed Donald, but of course, no blood flowed, and no laceration marks were made because this was a Nintendo game; hardly any gore made it into Nintendo games.

Link repeated smacking the baboon two more times (Legend of Zelda has some OCD thing with the number three; bosses are usually taken down in three attacks); Donald clutched his buns, and leapt into a totem pole. The parasitic bug tumbled off his head, curled up, and exploded; every enemy left this world with a bang. Donald rubbed his head, and stood up, back facing Link. He tensed up, slowly looked behind him, and screamed. The baboon bounded out of the chamber.

"YAYZ!" I rejoiced as I sprung up from the weeds; I jogged up to Link and held my hand up for a high-five. He seemed a bit confused. "You slap my hand with your hand," I clarified. He gingerly slapped my hand in a weak high-five. _I guess that'll work._ I glanced around, "Hey! Look Link! It's that boomerang! You should pick it up."

He walked over to grab it, but it soared up and spun in the air, "I am the Fairy of Winds who resides in this boomerang."

_Why would you live in a boomerang? That can't be comfortable,_ I thought. _I wonder if I get three wishes if I rub it…_

"You have freed me from evil, and I now have my true power back. Please…Take it with you, use it to aid your quest, and may both my power and blessing go with you.

"If you focus power in your boomerang before releasing it," the Fairy instructed, "it will unleash the power of wind, aiding you in unforeseen ways." It stopped moving and fell into Link's hands.

_Danananaah! You found the Gale Boomerang! This mysterious boomerang houses the Fairy of Winds, and unleashes the power of the wind!_

"Cool, now let's get out of here," I said. Link nodded, and we walked over to the only exit (besides a hole in the wall). Bars blocked the door, and a tiny windmill-like fan was above it. "Link, aim the boomerang at that fan," I directed. He pointed the boomerang at it, and tossed it; a small tornado formed and flew around the fan causing it to rotate. The bars rose maybe half a foot. "Throw it again." Link flung the Gale boomerang again, and once more (a total of _three_ times) before the bars were lifted completely.

"Let's go," Link said.

"Wait!" I said forcefully, "You should replenish your health first!"

"Ok." Link gathered a few hearts; then we left to finish the temple.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are we done yet?" I whined; beating the Faron temple was taking longer than I wanted it to.

"You asked that thirty seconds ago," Link reminded me.

"Yeah, I know, but that was thirty seconds_ ago_. We could have finished in that segment of time for all I know." Of course I was not dumb enough to think that Link could defeat a boss in thirty seconds, but I was just so _bored_. Following Link around was the same as watching my brother play; I did not do anything but observe.

All the monkeys were freed; Link and I were on our way back to crush the boss of this temple. We entered the space where the boss door sat, and where the monkeys performed random acrobatics on overgrown fungi platforms, waiting for us. As soon as the door shut, the monkeys started climbing onto a huge branch that overhung a canyon. I forgot to mention that the only way to get to the door was to swing across with the help of the monkeys. That may have been fine if the canyon had a bottom, and if the other side was not so far away. I gulped as I trailed behind Link; he obviously had no fear.

"Um, maybe you should go alone; I can stay here and wait for you," I said nervously. I lost any feeling of invincibility after talking to Jo; now I was just a smidge paranoid.

"No," Link protested, "I need your insight and knowledge to help me." As flattering as that was, I did not want to be swinging over a long gap at the mercy of some random primates. I looked over the edge; when did I become so spineless?

"Don't worry," Link continued, "I'll catch you." Well, that made _everything_ better; I glanced up at him, and he wore a face something between a frown and puppy dog eyes. It was _so_ adorable that I could not resist.

_Dang your cuteness, Link!_ And besides, I had been asking for excitement. "Ok, fine. But you go first."

He smiled and agreed. He strode over to the edge and readied himself for the swing; the monkey chain swayed towards him, and he jumped. The bottom monkey caught him, and rocked back towards the opposite side. Link let go, and landed gracefully on the cliff. He twisted around. "Your turn!" he called.

_It can't be that easy. _I sauntered to the rim of the overhang. _That's long a way down_, I commented.

_Don't think about it,_ I commanded myself. The monkeys had passed once by now.

"Come on," Link coaxed, "it will be fine. I made it over, so can you."

_Ok, FINE. I'm coming! _I prepared myself for the jump; the monkey came closer, and I leapt off the rock face. Mr. Monkey caught me. _Oh! Thank GOODNESS!_

_ It's not over yet, ding-dong!_ Another mental voice said. Oh right. I still had to reach solid ground. Easier said than done.

I waited for the next round, so I was all set to let go. Dangling from a bunch of monkeys over an endless abyss was fun and all, but I needed to help Link.

The line made it to its maximum height; I let go. My arms and legs flailed in the effort of trying to stay up right. I did not scream; I was not much of a screamer. My feet made contact with the land. _Yes! I made it!_ I did make it, but I was off balance; I still could fall off the cliff. My arms circled, trying to regain stability; Link steadied me.

"See?" he said. "That wasn't too bad."

_Eh, maybe. _He let go of my shoulders and proceeded to the door fifty yards in front of me. _Da boss,_ I said in awe. I had come a long way since that car crash, or it felt like it; I had only used about an hour and a half out of the usual twenty-four hours that it took to conquer the main quest, so not really _that_ long of a way.

The floor, walls, and ceiling turned to wood; an intricately decorated padlock secured the massive boss door. Pots lined the footpath towards the entrance; Link padded up to the door. "Hold on!" I said, "You should stock up on stuff! Break the pots."

Link sighed, and walked around smashing all the jars; he collected some money, a heart, and a fairy. "Ok, _now_ we're ready."

We strode up to the gate; Link unlocked it, and we were in. The room was enormous, but that was not surprising. About two-thirds of the floor was poisonous water, and the rest land; floating in the water were two logs. On the logs were bomb bugs that were needed to kill the boss.

I stood close to the doorway, and Link ambled up to the shoreline. The ground started shaking and rumbling which instigated Link to take up his battle stance; slowly, two colossal plant heads rose from the depths of the pond. They started wiggling on their necks and the title "Twilit Parasite DIABABA" flashed before them. The left plant head progressed towards Link; he dodged right. It tried to eat me, but it could not reach the door. My heart rate increased anyway.

"LINK!" I screamed, "GET BACK HERE WHERE IT'S SAFE!" He backed up, then spun around and sprinted to where I was. The right head chased after him. "Watch out!" I warned and pointed. He rolled to one side, and swung his sword at it; no harm came to it. It stopped five feet away from me, and retreated back.

Link ran up to me. "How do I defeat these things?" He panted.

"You use the Gale boomerang to fly those bombs," I pointed at the bomb bugs, "to their mouths." It was easy enough; the dumb things were constantly gaping. He took out the boomerang, concentrated the winds, aimed, and flung it. The twister soared to the right log, collected the bomb, and moved to the right plant head's mouth; it chewed the explosive for a few seconds, then it detonated, and fell into the waves.

_ Yayz! One more!_ Link repeated the whole shenanigan and killed the other head.

As it became submerged, Link relaxed and walked forwards. _It's not over yet!_ I thought. Less than five seconds later, another earthquake started, and an even bigger plant emerged; it thrashed from side to side, placed its head right in front of a combat ready Link, and screeched. Teeth-lined petals pulled back to reveal an eye at the end of a tongue.

Rule number one of Zelda: _always_ aim for the giant eye, or shiny gem on a boss. Rule number two was "light every single unlit torch on fire; a treasure chest usually appears."

Anyway, Link back-paddled to the gate; he swiped at one of the two plant heads from before. His back slammed into the wall, "What now? The bombs are gone."

"Just wait a minute," I replied.

Around twenty seconds later, we heard an animal call; high, on opposing walls, were mineshafts, and Donald. He waved and showed us that he had a bomb bug. A rope stretched across the room, from one mineshaft to the other. Donald grabbed the cord, and slid across the area clutching the bomb with his feet. "Use that bomb," I told Link. It would be slightly harder for Link to focus on a moving target, but I believed in him. He equipped the Gale boomerang and threw it. It flew towards the bomb Donald held, and raced towards the main body. _Good_, I thought,_ I don't have to tell him to target the middle plant instead of the others. That would just waste time. _The bomb rammed into the central head, exploded, and the plant fell onto land, exposing the eye.

I did not have to tell Link to attack the eye either. _Yay! A smart guy!_ He dashed to the eye, and stabbed the crap out of it; too bad it only stays down for so long. After three strikes, the thing rose up, and got prepared to spew acid. I forgot about that part. "OH SHEE-ITE! SCATTER!" I fled to the left while Link looked after me puzzled, but not for long. The plant opened its "mouth" and purple poison shot out though I have no clue how. I am pretty sure I did not see a throat in the mouth, only a tongue bearing an eyeball.

Link rolled to the right. I ran around randomly with my arms in the air, screaming; I probably would have looked pretty comical to anyone watching. The acid attack ceased, and Link and I regrouped at the door. "Did it hit you?" Link questioned as he eyed the monster.

"No, I'm fine. How 'bout you?"

"No." Good. We could get through this unscathed.

Donald signaled to us and glided on the rope again. Link bombed and bashed the evil plant two more times; we also dodged the poison attacks untouched. I'd like to think that those years of dodgeball helped.

Moving on, the monster threw its head from side to side as if in pain and straightened. It bent itself at awkward angles as it dried up; the tongue-eye bowed over the ground. The eye fell out, hit the ground with a thud, blew up, and transformed into a heart container. _Yayz! A lesser chance of dying!_ I celebrated. Link put his sword in its sheath in some complicated manner; I considered it a victory dance, only with no dancing.

The dead boss changed to black and burst into twilight boxes. They drifted in the air for an instant; then converged into a single point, creating one part of the Fused Shadow. Link held up his hands to catch it; it hovered in his palms.

Midna took shape, "Yes! _This_ is what I have been searching for." She snatched it from Link with her creepy, live hair. "Well, it looks like we're all done here. Go pick up that heart piece and we can warp out." Link gathered the immense, shiny, heart-shaped gem.

_Danananaah! You found a heart container! It replenishes all your health and adds one heart!_

"Alright, Link! Let's continue our quest!" I said enthusiastically. Both of us strolled over to Midna.

"Are you all finished here?" Midna asked; Link nodded. We stepped onto the portal that was made on the floor; we disintegrated and ended up in the Faron Spring.

"Heroic Link," Faron breathed.

_Oh no. Not _you_ again! _I thought resentfully.

"Do not think that Hyrule is now saved from the spread of twilight…Leave these woods and go to the west, where you will find the land protected by the spirit of Eldin. There you will find those you seek…"

_Not _all_ of them,_ I remarked.

Faron resumed, "But know that these lands lie in twilight…They are now a dark realm covered by the clouds of dusk. If you set a foot beyond the curtain of twilight, you will revert to your beast form, so be prepared.

"Hero chosen by the gods, leave these woods and go west, to the land of the spirit Eldin," Faron commanded.

Midna materialized, "That's better. Searching should be much easier now. Eee hee! I guess I don't need you anymore. But…Of course, you feel the need to go help the other light spirits, don't you? Well, don't worry. When you turn into a beast again, I'll take good care of you. The first thing you need to do is find the land covered in twilight. Once you do, I'll help you out. Eee hee hee! See you later!" Midna converted into a mere shadow again.

Link gazed over at me. "Of _course_ I'm going!" I exclaimed. He smiled and waved for me to follow. We walked to Hyrule field. Link meandered down the pathway.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

He stopped, "Um…to the twilight."

"It's _that_ way," I pointed to the left. "The spirit said go _west_; that's west. And a giant black wall is over there too." I remembered when I walked the on the path to get to Eldin; it took a day in this world.

I cut across the grass, and strode over to the walkway a hundred feet away. Link tailed behind, and as soon as his feet touched the gravel I heard "WAAAIIIT!"

_Oh crap._ Link stopped, as did I. A tall, lanky guy in a white tank top, a yellow sash, and short-shorts rushed straight at us. He wore a red cap with a bunny on it and backpack that had a flag attached to it; his eyes were wide open, and that made him very creepy looking. I recoiled, _Noez! His fashion sense is so terrible! And males should never wear short-shorts! Gah! Disgusting!_

"Go no further!" he said. "There is a black wall ahead that blocks the way! I thought I would deliver a few letters, but it seems impossible…" Link and I both stared at him; this man probably freaked him out too.

"I am the honorable and dependable letter carrier, known to some as… the postman."

_Oo, dramatic,_ I commented.

"Now that I have introduced myself, please! Take this letter and read it at your leisure!" He handed Link a letter while humming a "you-got-mail" tune. "You can do that to any letters that you receive. Read whenever you see fit! Well, my business is concluded! Onward to mail!" The postman sprinted away filling the air with dust.

Link and I looked at the letter, and he opened it. "Please don't run away when I approach at high speed." He glanced up.

"I think that will be a difficult task," I stated.

He laughed, "Come on, let's go before he returns."

"Good idea," I agreed as we jogged to our imminent animal conversion, and headaches.

**Hina thought that the postman's shorts were like an adult diaper. That is all.**

**Review please! :3 You'll be mentioned in a not popular story! **


	6. Chapter 6: Dead People

**A/N: So, I forgot to say that Ashley is supposed to be seventeen years old, and Link is supposed to be seventeen-eighteen. So basically about the same age. **

**I'm sorry if my chapters are too long for you… but that's just how it goes.**

**Special Thanks to super1, LinkLuver3, XxI-Stole-Your-CookiexX, ForeverZeldaGirl (thanks for the idea!), LNMHYLIAN, and Tek Sonay for reviewing! (I said I would mention you, and so I did.) Also thanks to my editors, and who ever faved or added this story to author alert. I know who you are, I get e-mails… Please don't be creeped out by that last phrase…**

**Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter! XD Should be a **_**fun**_** one!**

**DISCLAIMER! I don't own Legend of Zelda; I even indirectly state that in the story!**

**Apparently, spell check doesn't know what "disintegrated" is.**

Turns out, Link and I could be humans (or at least _I_ was human) in the twilight despite what everyone else had said… but only for a second. Two seconds later, we were back in beast form. Midna's color returned, and she hopped onto Link's back; it always sounded painful when she did that because each time Link would grunt. _Maybe she's a lot heavier than she looks…_ I mused.

"Man, it's good to be back in the twilight! And trust me Link, you look better in wolf form, " Midna said.

_I don't think so,_ I disagreed.

"I wonder where the spirit of Eldin resides?" Midna asked aloud.

_I know! Again,_ I thought. I pranced forward, and Link followed. We moved about ten feet before a stick blocked our way. _Of course, we can't walk two feet without running into the plot!_ I grumbled. Link cautiously walked up to it; realization flashed across his wolfish features. It was his crappy, wooden, not-really-a-sword sword that he gave to Talo **(A/N: one of the village children)** so he could pass by the kid. Link could not get to the Ordon Spring unless he gave Talo the sword. Of course Link could not discipline him, or enforce his obvious authority over him like the adult _he is_; no, he just forked the weapon over, patted Talo on the head, and ran away. Link should learn to stand up for himself, especially to bullies (like children).

Anyway, the poor excuse of a sword was surrounded by an orange aura that represented the "Youth's Scent." Apparently I could see scents instead of smelling them; I will probably start hearing sights now.

_Cool,_ I thought, _my tiger senses are working._ It seemed like I did not have to turn my animal intuition on and off like a light switch; it was permanently on.

Link sniffed the sword. _Danananaah! You've learned the Youth's Scent!_

_How exciting,_ I thought sarcastically. I did not really like the Ordon children. Beth, the only female, had a _major_ crush on Link (like every female in this world), and she did this weird shiver-swaying action whenever she talked to him; it was really weird and annoying (my _dad_ even commented on it)! Talo was a bully and very obnoxious; his brother Malo… he was just plain creepy. I mean, he will run a convenience store at the age of two (it has not happened yet, but it _will_)! Last was Colin; he was the better of the four, but he was a wimpy crybaby. I pitied him because he was the "outcast" of the group. Was I being a bit hard on them? Nah.

Link and I walked two inches before Midna stopped us. "See? Isn't being a wolf more convenient?"

_No,_ I thought sourly, _I feel completely out of place, I can't communicate with _actual_ people, everyone runs away from us (but that might not be a bad thing), and I don't have opposable thumbs! Plus, I can't really _do_ anything in this form… At least Link can dig._

"Now," Midna continued, "hone your senses! You've begun to reawaken as a wolf, I think. Eee hee!" I did not have to "hone my senses" to see the path of orange that lead us to Kakariko Village – our final destination. We followed the trail for fourteen to fifteen yards before the Twili electro-magnetic fence surrounded us, and three shadow beasts hurtled into the ground.

_Well, at least I have weapons this time – claws and teeth._ The monsters immediately stood, shook themselves off, and gravitated towards us. I hastily attacked the nearest one, forgetting how easily my life could be taken away. I know Midna or whoever had said that all the beasts had to be killed at the _same_ time so the live one could not resurrect the dead ones, but as I learned from playing before, if the minority or half (in this case one) were killed, and the remaining ones terminated simultaneously, they all stayed dead. I did not tell Link, but he was already doing the Midna-electric-circle thing on the other two.

I slayed mine first, then Link killed his two; they exploded and formed a new portal. Midna immediately turned our attention away from the much-needed hearts, and onto the missing bridge. This frustrated me because we _needed_ those! Link and I got hit a few times, so we were standing on our last legs. But _no_, the game makers will just have them in the background to taunt me. The annoying low health beep started playing on an endless loop; that was another reason why I hated low health. The other was that I hated watching Link die (it was always so sad!); I guess a third reason could be added… Anyways, we would gather some hearts when we were free from Midna's talking.

"The bridge is missing," Midna stated.

_CHIHIRO SYNDROME!_ I screamed **(A/N: explains in footnote)**.

"Those monsters must have moved it. Let's see…" Midna pulled out the map that she apparently had.

"Whenever you destroy those creatures from the darkness," Midna said, completely changing the subject, "a portal opens that looks like this on the map." A small blue symbol followed her sentence on the transparent speech box; she indicated the blue character on the map. "You hear me?" she asked scathingly. "It's called a _portal_. You'd better remember that!" I made a mental note to call it a vortex at the next opportunity. "And… in those woods we came through…" she mumbled to herself. "Yes! It's got to be around there…" Midna deduced; she was specifying the Faron Province. What made her think it was there in the first place, I do not know, but she was correct. "I'll use my power to take you to the location of the open portal…" she declared as she rolled up the map. "Pick where you want to go."

'North Faron Woods,' I meowed without a moment's hesitation. I picked the right place to go the very first time I played, but many times I had played after that, I did not select the correct place to go for some reason.

"Are you sure you want to go to North Faron Woods?" Midna asked Link. He looked over at me for a second and nodded. Midna started twirling above us while lifting her arms; Link and I disintegrated and "warped" to Faron.

As soon as we touched down, Midna hovered before us and gloated, "See! I told you! We're here!" Link and I just stared at her. "Ya know," she said, vexed, "most people can't leave the twilight that easily. You'd better be grateful!"

_I'm sure Link is,_ I thought.

"Now, it's your job to look for the bridge! Look hard!" And with that, she vanished. Link and I then ventured all across Hyrule looking hard for the perfect bridge that would allow us to cross the very dangerous gorge of doom and destruction! The trek was full of adventure, magic, betrayal, love, drama, tragedy, and humor! Overall, it was an epically epic journey that was so jam-packed with awesomeness that it had to be rated a completely different rating from the original one stamped on this fanfiction! If it were a movie, it would have won millions of Oscars for the perfect balance of all genres (western included).

Now, wouldn't that have been just an exciting tale to hear? Too bad it did not happen. Yes, our "epic trek" did not consist of much; in fact, it did not even consist of _moving_. All we had to do was look straight ahead (maybe a bit to the right), and danananaaah! You found the bridge! (It did not actually do that when we found it.)

Midna appeared when Link and I strode up to it. "Do you want to warp this?" He nodded. "Eee hee! Good little obedient wolf!"

_Like _she's_ one to talk about height,_ I stated.

What Midna did next was kind of weird. Her hair came to life, pointed, and electrocuted the bridge with some "Ancient Twili Magic." She then scrunched up into a little ball and grunted; it looked and sounded like she was constipated. A few seconds later, she shot her three arms (two regular and one hair one) into the air in a lifting motion while screaming a battle cry. The bridge rose and disintegrated into the portal as did Link and I.

We ended up back in Kakariko Gorge area, but this time with a sturdy overpass beneath our paws. "See! Just as I thought… Eee hee!" Midna bragged again, "So, isn't the power of twilight amazing? Call me if you need the power again. It should help you find what we're looking for, don't you think? All right! Let's keep going!" She dug her heels into Link's sides like a jockey on a horse. Link growled, but sprinted forwards; I was right behind him.

We dashed for a hundred yards before we were stopped yet again. _Sheesh! Can we get to the fricken' village already? We've moved less than two hundred yards and had to halt for three obstacles – one of which we got sidetracked on!_ I fumed. Yes, our travels had been obstructed many times before, but not so frequently!

Anyway, we arrived at the gate and Midna said, "What are they doing there?" She meant the guards on the opposite side of the ornate gates in front of us. "This is a pretty elaborate gate… What are they trying to keep in…? Or out? I bet it'll be worth our while to dig in…" she smirked.

After assuring Link that I would join him on the other side, I tried something new: climbing. The door was locked and too thick for me to bust open. Climbing over the gate was surprisingly easy and so was the aerial attack. 'RAWR!' I roared on instinct. The goblin did not see it coming; he poofed and so did Link's guard. The enemies here were not any harder to beat in person than they had been before in the safety of my own bedroom.

We carried on down the path that was flanked by towering canyon walls; we turned a corner and huzzah! The village! A single round building stood straight ahead; a boulder blocking a cave was to our almost immediate left, and beyond that, the canyon wall ceased after the barred cavern. The Spirit's spring was directly behind it. It could have been a peaceful sight, but it was ruined by three black masses that were obstructing our path. Now, I know I said that the Twilight Princess enemies were easily beaten, but out of _all_ of the regular foes faced, the shadow beasts were maybe the _only_ ones that had killed me in the game; the rest of the time, it was operator error (like accidentally jumping into lava). So, naturally, I was a _bit_ nervous (I had recovered my wits from the previous Twili beast showdown).

Link and I stepped closer to the first one, and the glowing fence enclosed us with the monsters. Ah, the _Legend of Zelda_ creators were clever. They purposely made it seem that all the shadow monsters had to be assassinated together; _then_ they placed one _waaaaaay_ on one side of a long, rectangular arena and placed the remaining two on the opposite end. Nintendo certainly liked to make people waste time on simple tasks.

Anyway, the beasts had detonated, and a new portal was formed. We walked past the spring. "To the hero… who was transformed into a blue-eyed beast… in the realm of shadows… In twilight…" a voice gasped, "…This way…"

_Why does it have to be so specific? I mean, who else could that be? The tumbleweed? _I thought sarcastically. _Wait, now that I think about it, that could be me! I have blue eyes! I was transformed into a beast by the twilight! Oh, but wait. I'm not the hero. Dang. I thought someone besides Link was actually acknowledging me in this world. _

"…I am… a spirit… of light…" the concentration of golden, glowing fairy dust whispered as we approached. "Hero… chosen by the gods… Look for… my light… Gather light stolen by the shadows… into this..." Link suddenly acquired an object that looked like a bunch of grapes.

_Danananaah! You got the Vessel of Light! Use this to collect the tears that cut through the darkness. When the vessel is full of tears, you can dispel the twilight and return the land to its light filled state. To see the evils that consume the tears, use your senses._ No, the game was not getting "fresh" with us; it was merely saying to use the wolf senses.

"…The insects of darkness… They are the form taken… by the evil that attached itself… to my scattered light…" the spirit resumed. "In this shadowy twilight… the shadow insects are invisible, much as the people from your light world are…

"With the last of my power… let me mark your map… with the locations… of the tears that have turned into… shadow insects… But be careful… The darkness… now hunts you…" And with that, it stopped speaking. A graphic representing the Vessel of Light appeared behind us.

'Ok, we should start out with this building,' I pointed toward the circular one we saw earlier.

'Why?' Link questioned.

'Because.' _Because I want to get the cut-scene out of the way._ Link sniffed around the outside and halted at an abandoned cart.

"Hey!" Midna exclaimed. "You can climb up here!" She then proceeded to lead Link up to the top.

Climbing had worked well for me before, so I thought, _What they hay. I've got nothing to lose. This building isn't high enough to cause health loss anyway._ Besides, I was _pretty_ sure the rickety old canopy hanging over one of the entrances would not hold my weight. I bunched up my muscles and leapt up as far as I could; my razor-sharp claws dug into the siding, and luckily, I stayed put. _Cool! Now to see if I can actually _climb. I unsecured one front paw and placed it above the other; I did the same with a back paw. I started my ascent. The climb was not difficult, surprisingly; it was as if I was _made_ to do it.

Moving on, Link and I were on the roof, and a hole was crappily fixed with some random, flimsy straw; that was our entrance. 'Hey Link. You should walk over that straw to see if it holds," I hinted.

"Ok," he agreed. What a nice guy. He trotted up and stood on the thin layer of plants; a moment later, it gave way, and he fell through. I had not wanted to be the one to fall, so I tricked Link to go first. I hopped down and landed gracefully next to the wolf, and then I looked around and saw something that scared the shiznit out of me.

I turned to him, wide-eyed, and growled ominously, 'I see dead people.'

'WHAT?' Link quickly flipped on his senses (like a light bulb), and the cut-scene began. To the slight right of us (in spirit form) were the children from Ordon, and two other people –an adult, and a child. The adult was a man (though I only knew that because I played the game before), and he had black hair that was like dreadlocks. His skin was tan, and he wore a dress (unlike Link). The child was a female (yet again, I had only known because I played the game before), and she had black hair as well. She was pale and resembled Rock Lee from _Naruto_ **(A/N: not really a compliment if you haven't seen Naruto)**. Talo was clinging onto the man and crying; Beth appeared to be sobbing into her hands while the girl with black hair sat next to her, seemingly emotionless. Colin and Malo were standing in front of them. Over to the left at a window was a middle-aged man; I knew he was middle-aged not because I had played Twilight Princess before, but because he was balding and had a beer-belly. He wore suspenders with a short white tank-top (it was gross), and he sported a metal welding mask.

Baldy spoke first, _"Cripes! I don't see those black brutes anywhere…"_

_That's 'cause they're dead, buddy._

_ "They've gotta be hidin' somewhere, waitin' for their helpless little prey to come out! Then they'll FEAST!" _

Talo flinched at "feast" and scooted closer to the tan man. The adult tried to comfort him, _"We are safe as long as we remain in here, child. Be at ease."_

_"Oh yeah?"_ Baldy pushed the metal mask up and revealed eyeglasses, busy eyebrows, and a wacky mustache that started at each nostril and ended at his chin (almost a handlebar mustache but not quite). _"I wonder if the monsters out there agree with you… They sure didn't seem impressed by my bombs! How long do you think we can hold this sanctuary against beasts that strong, huh? Once they attack, it's OVER!"_

_Wow, this guy _sure_ knows how to put kids at ease,_ I noted sarcastically. I glanced over at Link; the game never showed his face during this whole ordeal, but now I could plainly see he was not fairing well. These kids _did_ mean a lot to him; I guess they would grow on me too, if I stayed _long_ enough.

The mid-aged man started reminiscing about the past. _"Remember the lady from the general store? Just one of those things attacked her, and a whole gang from town went to save her!"_ I could hear the sinister music start to play in the background, setting the atmosphere for this story. _"And what happened? She was already gone and there were TWO monsters waitin'!"_

_So… who else did Link and I kill?_ I wondered.

_"…You connectin' the dots? That means that if we get attacked by them, then we'll be…"_

_ "BARNES!"_ the olive-skinned man shouted.

Barnes dropped to the floor, and the steel mask fell back over his face. _"Look, Renado…All I mean to say is that it's risky here, too! Ain't you got some place we can hide?"_

_ "There is…"_ Renado started dramatically, _"a cellar."_

Barnes rapidly crawled closer to Renado and lifts up the mask_. "WHAAT? You've got a CELLAR? Where's the entrance, man?"_

_ "The entrance to the cellar is designed to open when all of the candles have been lit…"_

A crazed look dominated his face as he shuffled over to an urn (with a candle probably inside it) and lit it on fire. _"…I… would not do that,"_ a new voice warned_. "When Father instructed me to secure the cellar, I saw insects like the beasts outside…"_ It was the other random child. Barnes recoiled from the hefty statue that conquered the center of the room and blocked the entrance to the basement.

Beth let a sob escape. _"Don't cry, Beth! It'll be OK!"_ Colin said as he tried to calm her; she ignored him. _"Link is coming to save us all!... I can feel it."_

_I wonder if Colin's ever thought of a future in the psychic business, _I thought.

Barnes moved back to the window he was previously at, _"Cripes! Seems like everyone's tryin' to pull a fast one these days. Boy, I don't have a clue who this Link fella is… but I've gotta say, I ain't overly confident he's gonna come save this village!"_

"Aw, these kids knew you'd come to save them! What a hero!" Midna mocked. "How sad, to be right in front of someone and not be noticed at all… Eee hee hee!" Geez, here comes Midna's anti-social behavior; she just _loved_ saying what everyone _else_ did not want to think about (everyone as in Link).

"You are chosen by the gods, and only that keeps you from turning into a spirit, or worse, into a dark monster, when you enter twilight. And no one knows what you have done…You may be doomed to toil in obscurity forever."

_Helloooo! Do I not count as a person or something? _I'll_ remember Link's good deeds! And so will Zelda!... Hopefully._

"You're the type to worry about everything, I can tell…but don't fret over Princess Zelda! She chose this state of affairs, after all…

"Anyway, what's with having to light candles to get to the basement? Not very subtle, is it…"

_It's Legend of Zelda; what did you expect?_

"So, what are you going to do now? My lonely little hero…Eee hee!"

_Seriously! What did a girl – tigress in this case – have to do to be counted as part of the living in this world!_

'Lighting the candles and killing those bugs is what you're going to do!' I grumbled. Link gazed up and I could see the profound grief in his eyes. "Aaand you're going to forget what Midna just said." What did Midna get from depressing poor little Link? If she made him sad enough, he could jump off the next cliff he sees, and she would be without a willing slave! She needed to think these things through.

'Come ooon! Cheer up!' I urged him. 'You know where the children are and saving them will be so easy! Killing bugs? A walk in the park, and the first step is lighting those candles.' My pep talk worked; determination burned in his eyes now as he lit a stick on a fire. _Now _there's_ the Link I saw in the game. He's probably just sad because his girlfriend's not here. I wonder if he actually noticed._

Link bounded around the room, lighting all the candles (a whopping four); the statue in the middle slid aside.

_"What sorcery is this?"_ Renado exclaimed. _"The entrance to the cellar opening on it's own…could those beasts have engineered even this?"_

Link and I padded up to the hole in the ground. 'After you,' I said. He nodded, and dove in. I was right behind him.

**Chihiro Syndrome: My friends and I came up with this after watching **_**Spirited Away **_**(AWESOME movie). The main character, Chihiro, states the obvious a lot, so we named an "illness" after her. Chihrio Syndrome is stating the obvious.**

**I am now an official Link fan-girl. There is a 2x3 foot wall-scroll of him (in all his hotness) hanging up in my closet. **

**There are random updates about stories (usually this one) on my profile. You can't miss it.**


	7. Chapter 7: The Event

**I'M ALIVE. One word: School. You'll see. It influences my story a bit.**

**YAYZ! DONE! I'm sorry it's **_**SSSSOOOOO **_**long, but that's how I write.**

**Thanks to previous reviewers, editors, and peeps who gave me IDEAS! :D Anyway, I'm trying to keep this short… so yeah.**

**Is it strange that I had "Silver Bells" sung by cats going through my head while I was typing this? And is it sad that I get so much enjoyment out of my own story?**

**Wow. I ended up putting in some really **_**lame**_** humor.**

**Disclaimer: No. **

Mission: complete.

All bugs were terminated, and Link and I were standing in the Kakariko Village spirit spring. Not before we broke into a few houses, blew one up, and Midna hit on Link **(A)** – the makings of a good action movie.

So, there we were listening to Eldin (who was a giant bird) again. "Blah blah blah… blah blah _Hero_… blah… blah blah _save_… blah blah blah blah _hippopotamus_…" Yeah. I did not care about the spirits' speeches anymore; you've heard one, you've heard them all. So I lollygagged and thought about my newfound climbing ability; it was interesting because _I_ could do it and _Link_ could not. I was wondering what new possibilities that would open.

I pondered and pondered until _finally_ the speech was over. I stretched my muscles that had recently taken on a new form. I did not remember changing back, but then again, I _never_ remembered changing back.

"I like this form better," I commented.

"Yeah. It's easier to fight," Link agreed. My reasons were obviously different from his.

"_LINK?_" We heard a high-pitched voice squeal. Link and I glanced over at the round house; the Ordon children, Luda, middle-aged Barnes, and Renado were at the door staring at us.

_How convenient,_ I thought, _they come out the second _after_ the spirit leaves._

Colin walked forward a bit, and then was brutally shoved aside by Talo and the other small savages. Poor Colin. The children surrounded Link like the fan-boys - and girl – they were. I was also thrust out of the way and ignored, but I didn't care; I was used to it by now.

"Ha ha ha! See Beth? I TOLD you Link would save us!" Talo said triumphantly.

I snorted, _Of course you did._

"… You are the one from Ordon whom these children spoke of?" Renado spoke as he sauntered up behind the children.

_Obviously NOT_ _if they are surrounding him like he's "Mommy Goose," _I thought sarcastically.

Link nodded.

Renado's giant, plump lips twitched slightly upward at the edges, "We are well met. I am Renado, shaman of this town.

"And this… This is my daughter Luda," the shaman indicated past the middle-aged man to the female Rock Lee look-alike. "And who is she?" Renado gestured in my general direction. I looked around for this "she" he was talking about; I was 99.9999…% _sure_ that Midna had disappeared before Eldin formed.

I glanced back and saw that everyone was staring at ME. And then it dawned on me like the morning sun; Renado had pointed at _moi._ I was so stunned that I had been acknowledged that I stood gaping for a few seconds.

My inactivity made Link speak instead, "Her name is-"

I leapt forward, pushed past Link, and held out my hand to the shaman, "ASHLEY! My name is Ashley, woman of many bracelets, divine daughter of Doug **(B)**!" Renado gave me a weird look –like he does to _everyone_ -, the children gave me a weird look, and I am _pretty_ sure Link was giving my back a weird look, too.

The shaman shook my hand a moment later. "Pleasure," he mumbled regretfully (sad that his niceness had finally betrayed him). "So, how do you know each other?" Renado asked Link.

I answered swiftly, "We're brother and sister." I threw my arm around his neck and grinned; it was the first thing that popped into my head. I regretted that I did not say "boyfriend/girlfriend;" now it would be _really_ awkward when I accidentally started drooling while staring at him.

Everyone focused on Link then. "You have a sister?" Colin questioned.

"Uh… yeah," Link answered smartly.

"Well, I DO see the resemblance," Renado commented.

Then Malo spoke, "Why do you have rounded ears while Link has pointed ears?" Dang him and his freaky baby observational skills! How could he even see my ears through my hair? X-ray vision? I didn't doubt it.

"Uh… Well… You see…" Not the best words to start out with; they were usually followed by some lie or made-up story. I was not going to break the tradition. "Link was quite the troublemaker when he was younger." I smirked and gave him a noogie. "While I was busy being the 'good daughter,' Link was playing with wooden swords, slingshots, and fire. One day, Link was playing with fire too close to my head; my hair caught fire and burned the tips of my ears off. The end," I finished epically.

"So remember kids," I stated matter-o-factly, "NEVER light yourselves on fire unless you want to be known as some deformed freak for the rest of your life." They all stared up at me with wide, innocent eyes drinking in the facts of life I so wisely uttered.

"Are you guys twins?" Colin asked.

"You betcha," I replied. Poor Link; he probably did not like lying to his native people's children.

"Who's older?" Beth asked eagerly.

"Me! Could you tell?" I laughed. I actually hoped Link was older; I always found that attractive in a man.

"Anyway, enough about us, what happened to you guys?" I questioned, getting back on track.

"Well, the beasts took us and left us to die… but Mr. Renado found us," Colin explained.

"At first," Renado jumped in, "I couldn't believe they had come from so distant a place as the Ordon Province…"

_Pssh! It's not _that_ far,_ I scoffed mentally.

"Yeah. I… We don't remember much. All of a sudden everyone was captured, and then… until now… it's been like…" Colin paused thinking.

_Sheesh, have enough "dot dot dot's?" _

"… A nightmare," Malo offered in his quiet, infant voice.

Colin nodded, "Yeah! It was like a terrible dream and we couldn't wake up…"

_TELL me about it,_ I thought. The only exception was that this was a _good_ dream.

"Mmm… Nightmares are everywhere these days, it seems," Renado mused. "This village has certainly seen its share of recent hardships… The dark beasts attacked, but even worse was the sudden and inexplicable change in the mountain-dwelling Goron tribe. They had long been our friends, but suddenly treated us as foes." Renado frowned, if that was possible. "Even now they refuse to permit us entry into their mines. It strains the limits of belief… To think that such a gentle and proud tribe could change so suddenly… It makes me wonder if something in those mines is the cause of this change…"

I stifled a yawn. Since when had I entered Shakespeare?

"In any case, you must take these children and flee this village before more nightmares descend. I cannot leave my village in such a time. There is no telling what may happen to us here…" Renado said. "… But it is my job to try to coax the Gorons back from their recent change of heart." Renado, Luda, and Barnes were left a few feet behind as the Ordonian children stepped closer and crowded around Link and I.

"I don't wanna leave all these people just to save ourselves!" Beth exclaimed.

_What _people_? There's _three_ of them!_

"Come on, Link! Can't you do something?" Malo asked.

"Isn't there… some way to make up with the Gorons?" Colin begged.

"You'd think someone could go to the mines and do something…" Beth commented. I wondered if these kids knew what they were obviously hinting at, or if the game forgot to give them their own conscious.

I stared walking away and pulled Link behind me. "But… we're supposed to bring them back!" Link protested.

"And they said they aren't going," I countered. Seriously, hadn't Link paid attention to the past six paragraphs?

"So, where are we going?"

Apparently not. "We're going to Death Mountain to try and talk to the Gorons."

"Why?"

"Geez Link! Where were you for the past hour? We have to talk to the Gorons so they will be friends and trade with this 'village' again. AND the next fused shadow is up there! It's the hero's _job_ to retrieve it and save the world! To do that, you have to get through the Gorons first! DUH!" I said irritated as I knocked him on the noggin.

He rubbed his head, "It was _just_ a question!"

_A _DUMB_ question!_ I thought, annoyed. "There are no stupid questions" my butt!

We walked through the deserted, Western-like village a bit more before Link asked, "So, why didn't you tell them the truth?"

I glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, "Huh?"

"You said you were my sister instead of saying that you're a royal guard and related to the Princess."

"Oh," I said. "Well, I didn't want my cover blown. My job kinda doesn't work when people know who I am." Truth is, I had forgotten about _that_ lie.

"So you were already stalking one of them?" Link logically inferred.

"No. I mean, you know kids, they can't keep their mouths shut." Especially that Malo; he would – without a doubt – blackmail me with this information and make me pay somehow. "And Renado," I narrowed my eyes, "NEVER trust a cross dresser."

"OK." We turned to leave, strolling under the natural arch that led to Death Mountain.

A hundred yards or so later, we came upon a ledge; the chain-link fence that ran up the whole face of the small cliff could be climbed. Perched at the top was a Goron lookout.

"I'll go up first," Link said.

"Alright." I was not going up anyway; we were not supposed to go to Death Mountain yet.

Link walked up to the fence, leapt, grabbed on, and crawled up. As soon as he hauled himself over the edge, the Goron grunted, "Ah! No humans allowed! These lands ahead belong to the Goron tribe! The elder said no humans may pass!" And with that, the Goron rolled up like an armadillo and spun in place until traction caught. Link automatically – almost like it was _programmed_ into him – crouched, spread his arms, and moved from on foot to the other; the Goron lurched forward. Link managed to grab him, but…

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Link yelled as the momentum sent him flying backward over the cliff edge. Link landed on his back at my feet.

I bent over him and questioned, "Soooo, how'd it go?"

He groaned, "You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?"

"I have _no_ clue what you're talking about!" I claimed innocently. I held out my hand to help him up; he accepted.

"A weak spirit is no match for the might of the Gorons!" The fat being shouted as he beat one hand on his chest. "Do you understand me, human? Then away with you!" He meandered back to his original post. Link glared over at me.

I looked back, aloof, "I thought you were Hylian." He raised his eyebrows. "Alright let's head back," I said as I ambled back down the trail.

Back in the village, Renado greeted us, "Ah, how fortunate you are in one piece!

_Of course he is,_ I thought. _This game wouldn't allow that kind of violence!_

"I saw you heading up the mountain trail, so I was worried," Renado said.

"Are you trying to reach the Gorons of Death Mountain?" The shaman asked.

_"Tried" is more like it. And of _course_ not! Link and I just thought it would be a lovely place for a stroll with the unfriendly, buff people and all_, I thought sarcastically.

"It's too dangerous, Link!"

_I thank you for your concern as well, _I thought bitterly.

"They recognize only strength! A normal person could never persuade them…" I think Renado realized something; it's hard to read his facial features since they never change. "But… I do know one person who was able to best them and earn their trust… His name is Bo. You may know him as the mayor of your hometown, Ordon. Please, go to him. And while you are there, please let him know that the children are safe.

"Of course, getting them back would be best… but we could not keep them safe from the monsters on the road without a horse and cart…

"Please… Return to Ordon and inform the parents that their children are free from harm. Give them my word." And finally, after his redundant speech, Renado left us.

"To Ordon it is!" I stated dramatically. Link and I walked back through the ghost town until we reached the spirit's spring. Link stopped and spun around; I followed suit. What stopped him was the thundering of hooves against gravel. The animal was approaching rapidly.

A second later, Epona burst from around the canyon corner and pelted full speed down the Kakariko street with a goblin just barely hanging on to her. She was also heading straight towards us. I was about to make some witty remark about "horsepower" when I was tackled. By Link.

We fell out of Epona's way and landed safely on the ground, but that did not mean I was uninjured. Getting a rock hard shoulder thrust into your soft, non-muscular side is not as painful as it sounds, even hitting the ground wasn't that bad, but getting hit in the face by the sword hilt that was slung across _that_ shoulder was. I clutched my nose with my free hand; the other was trapped under Link, like the rest of me.

"Get _OFF_, ya Big Lug!" I yelled in his ear. I thought being saved by your one true love was supposed to be romantic and breathtaking! _It was _definitely_ breathtaking, but _far_ from romantic!_

Link immediately lifted himself up and rolled to the left. I groaned as I sat up; apparently I had been elbowed in the stomach and landed on another dang rupee. Or maybe it was a rock this time. Being trampled by Epona was sounding less painful at that point.

"Are you alright?" Link asked concerned. He was crouched next to me.

"Yeah, fine. Just go wrangle your horse or whatever," I managed to get out as I waved the hand that wasn't preoccupied with my nose. I heard him jog away and checked my nose; it was bleeding a little. _I'm surprised that this game lets me bleed._ My nose was not broken either. _Good. My "no-broken-bones" record is still in place! _I finally looked up; luckily, my glasses remained intact and without a scratch. Link seemed to be doing fine re-taming Epona. I grunted as I stood up. _Man, I need some Aspirin._ I walked over to the spring, took out two pills, popped them into my mouth, and swallowed them with the spirit water. I didn't care that who-knows-what had contaminated this water; it was freakin' _spirit water_. And besides, I wanted this aching in my head and entire body to stop.

Link had managed to grab the reins and pull; Epona reared up on her hind legs, but settled down after that.

"Hmm… You're not too shabby a wrangler after all!" Midna exclaimed surprised; she apparently formed randomly just to say that. "Won't this make getting back to your town a lot easier? Now go finish your errands so we can get back! Get a move on!" She disappeared once again.

Epona trotted over to where I was standing, and Link held out a hand to me. "Come on," he said.

"Huh?" My mind was blank.

He beckoned with his hand, "Come on! We have to go to Ordon, remember?"

"Oh, right!" I said sheepishly. I grabbed his hand, and he lifted me up onto Epona as if I weighed as much as a pillow. I sat in front of him; he had one hand on my shoulder to hold me in place, I guess. We trotted towards the closed gate.

Suddenly my heart rate spiked, and my eyes grew wide. _HOLY CRUD SCONES! I AM MERE_ CENTIMETERS_ AWAY FROM LINK!_ I had not realized that earlier when he tackled me; shows how observant I was.

"Hold on," Link said as Epona's speed increased.

"To _WHAT_?" The only thing in front of me was Epona's mane, and I doubted she wanted that pulled out. Link's hand swiftly switched from my shoulder to around my waist, and a good thing it did too. No, _not_ because I was allowed to lean against him then (though that's always a plus), but because then I did not fall off of a leaping Epona and get impaled by the sharp, spear-tops of the gate adding one more injury – making it a grand total of six in the past five minutes.

We landed on the other side with a thud. I felt that thud, and it didn't do any justice to my forming bruises. I sucked it up though; I hate complaining. Out loud. Epona continued galloping down the canyon. Link _still_ had a hold on me, which was _still_ good because I would have fallen off; all I could do was attempt to keep my balance. I resolved to sit _behind_ Link the next time so I would not feel so unstable. I hated being unbalanced, that's why I never ice-skated or rollerbladed.

Epona sprinted out into a meadow but froze a few seconds later, same with Link.

I looked at him and waved my hand in front of his face, "Helloooo." He did not respond. "What the…?"

"HHEEEEYYYY! MR. LINK! WAAAAAAIIITTT!"

_Oh, the postman, _I thought. It always bothered me how he approached from the front, but yelled, "WAIT!" like he was coming from behind.

He exhaled loudly as he jogged to us. "Greetings, Mr. Link!" He said as he stared up at us with bugged eyes. "I have a letter for you! It is a letter from Ooccoo," he said then hummed his trademark "you've-got-mail" tune.

_A postman bearing a letter, odd," _I thought sarcastically.

Link mechanically took the letter from the creepy mailman.

"Well, my business is concluded! Onward to mail!" He spun and fled across the fields out of sight. Link and Epona were released from their stupor; either the postman was a wizard, or it was just the game. Probably just the game.

"Thank goodness he's gone!" I exclaimed relieved. Now we could move on, and I never enjoyed being stopped by him when I was on earth; he just wasted a whole thirty seconds that I could have used to do _other_ stuff (but this was only after I had played through the game once)!

Link shook his head (to clear it I presumed), dug his heels into Epona's flanks, and yelled, _"YAH!"_ We crossed a bridge, ran through another meadow, passed the Bird Hobo, galloped by a spirit spring, and eventually, we passed Link's house all while "Over the River and Through the Woods, to Grandmother's House, We Go" was playing endlessly through my head. Link and I trotted into the town of Ordon since the game did not allow Epona to move any faster than a meager one carrot per hour **(C)**.

"Link?" A fat man beside the biggest house in the town questioned perplexed. We stopped right beside him. "Whoa, it IS you, Link! You're safe and sound!" Mayor Bo said as his usually closed eyes opened. "Your clothes… What happened to you, lad? And who's that girl?"

"Uuumm…" I glanced back at Link.

"I'll explain inside,' Link stated. "And I have news of the children."

"Oh! C-come quick! Inside!" The mayor sputtered before turning heel and walking swiftly into the house. Link dismounted lithely and held out a hand for me.

"I'm fine," I said proudly and waved his aid off. I was not _that_ helpless (but maybe that was my ego speaking). I lifted one leg over Epona and hopped off; I did not land gracefully (Epona was a large horse!), but I did not fall either. Link put a hand on my shoulder to make sure I didn't tip over and looked me in the eyes. "I'm _fine_," I said once again, but with emphasis this time. _Seriously, I'm not _that_ clumsy,_ I thought. I couldn't even remember the last time I tripped and face-planted; as far as I know, it had never happened. Anyway, he just nodded and walked inside, as did I.

Once inside, Link explained where the Ordon kids were, what Renado had said, and who I was; he stuck with the "long-lost-sibling" thing. While Link and Bo were talking, I thought about what was ahead.

_Hmmm, sumo-training, Link shirtless, Iron Boots, golden wolf-wait._ I mentally rechecked my list; yep, right at numero two was "Link shirtless." How could I have forgotten such an _important_ event? _The_ Event nonetheless **(D)**. Well, I remembered now, and there was NO WAY I was missing that!

"Well, that's good…" Mayor Bo's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Renado's an old friend. If they're in his care, then we can relax. So. Don't keep me waitin', lad! Tell me of my little girl! Ilia is with the rest of 'em, right?"

_ILIA! _That's_ what her name is!_ I thought as the "tip-of-the-tongue" phenomenon **(E)** was overcome; not remembering her name had been bothering me.

Link's response to the mayor's question was not a simple "no," but a dramatic glare at the ground with his back turned to Bo.

He glanced at me. "He means 'no,'" I clarified.

"… Oh! I see… That ain't what I wanted to hear," he said glumly. "Ahh… But Link… I guess I need to think of all five of those poor kids, not just my own… They're all in danger. What I should be askin' is how I can help out…"

Link turned back around, "I need your help to defeat the Gorons of Death Mountain."

"What's that now? The Gorons of Death Mountain?" Mayor Bo raised a hand and scratched his chin. "I see… So Renado told you that…"

_He didn't really tell us much,_ I thought.

"Well, it's true… I did defeat the Gorons in a contest of strength and earned their trust… With the help of a little secret… but can you promise me that you absolutely, positively will NOT disclose it to anyone?" Bo frowned.

Link nodded.

"Good. Alrighty, then. Absolutely no one!" The mayor looked at me, "I'm sorry, lass, but you will have to leave. I know you just reunited with Link here, but I don't know you."

My eyes grew wide. "_WWHAT?" _I gaped. He was going to make me miss _Link SHIRTLESS? _Ooh-ho; no WAY, Jose!

I was about to argue when Link spoke, "She can keep a secret, Mayor. I trust her." He looked over at me and smiled.

Well. I could have just melted there on the floor. Instead, I stood in a trance. "OK," I said as I smiled dumbly.

"Alright, Link. If you trust her, that's good enough," Bo said as he clapped Link on the back and led him to the sumo room.

I stood in the same spot for a few more seconds, smiling and muttering "OK" until I broke whatever spell had been cast on me. _Well… That was awkward._ I stomped back to the wrestling room angry with myself for reacting so drastically to Link smiling. _It wasn't even that cute!... OK, maybe it was. STILL. I shouldn't have been _paralyzed _by it! Stupid mind having a mind of its own!_

I stopped next to Link, crossed my arms, and glared at the ground. Link didn't notice; he was too busy listening to Mayor Bo.

"Link, you've heard of sumo wrestlin', right? Gorons like to match strength in sumo contests. Luckily for you, the basics of sumo are the same as stoppin' chargin' goats… You wanna hear more?"

Link nodded. I didn't listen; the only moves you used were slapping, tackling, and dodging. You had to follow up each move with tackling; yes, even _tackling_ itself. It was like the mega-move.

"Alright, you know the basics, now we must change into classic sumo attire!" Mayor Bo exclaimed. I perked up at this.

_Show time._ I walked over to a random box and sat on it. I needed a good seat. Looking around I noticed the room was circular, and a ring was in the middle; it was elevated so when the opponent was pushed out, it would hurt a LOT more. Random pictures and art hung along the walls, and wooden posts were set up to dry clothing and hang other crap. A platform at the front of the room had more wooden posts that held up a flat piece of wood. It kinda looked like a table. There were no windows, so torches sat everywhere.

Finally, I heard movement and looked to the doorway. I grimaced as the mayor strut through the archway; he was completely nude except for a traditional sumo diaper and village obi. I squeezed my eyes shut and shielded them with my hands; my mind was scarred enough already thank you very much.

"Hey, Ashley. You alright?"

My eyes shot open; Link was crouched in front of me with another concerned face. I frowned. _Seriously. I'M FINE. I don't need all this worriedness and… Hellooo._ Huh. Link wasn't wearing a shirt. He wore his poofy capris and obi though. My irritated reply was replaced with just "yeah."

He smiled and strolled up into the sumo ring. I immediately started drooling. _Gosh DANG IT drooling! Would you STOP IT? He's not a hunk of meat!... But he is a hunk _**(F)**. Man, Link had some nice abs. They didn't showcase them well enough in the game. _Anyone wanna bake cookies __**(G)**__?_

Anyway, moving _away_ from Link's amazing abs, I mean… his buff… his… just moving on. Bo was already waiting for him and crouched at his starting point. Link mimicked him. Once they were both ready, Mayor Bo lifted one leg in the air and brought it down with all his might. The room shook; Link did the same thing, but he failed to make an earthquake like his opponent. However, he did manage to create a tremor in the floor. Sure the mayor had all that weight, but most of it was fat except for his legs. Those had to be pure muscle after lugging all that weight around; that reminded me of my cat…

Link may be a small guy compared to Bo, but he was all muscle (at least mostly. You can't have those abs if you're full of flab). He lifted barrels and heavy items all day (probably), and he did farm stuff. Besides that, he was quick and smart. He could win easily, but…

"Hey, LINK! I bet you five bucks that you lose!" I yelled.

"Huh?" Link gazed at me confused. He missed the starting bell (or whatever), and Bo tackled him.

I flinched, _Whoops._ Despite the bad start, Link managed to gain some ground, but he still lost. How did I predict correctly? Well, the game had to get some text in.

He fell out of the ring by me. I leaned over my knees and said in a bored voice, "You owe me five bucks."

He grunted, "How am I supposed to get them?"

I leaned back, _Oh yeah. It's called "rupees" here._ "I meant rupees. You owe me five RUPEES. Pay up," I held out my hand.

He sat up, "Why would you call them 'bucks?'"

"No reason. It's an American thing," I brushed it off. Link just stared at me, even _more _bewildered. He shook his head in a "whatever-weirdo" way while standing up.

"What's the matter, Link? Did you think I was gonna take it easy on you?" Mayor Bo mocked. "If you can't prevail in a match like this, then you'd have NO chance against a Goron! For example… Answer a strike by grabbin'!

"All righty. If you understand… COME AT ME AGAIN!" The mayor challenged. Link walked back up the steps and into the ring again. I was pretty sure Link would win this one because he seemed like the type that would adapt easily, and the game wasn't holding him back.

So, they started again, and within the next minute, Link shoved Bo off of the platform. Link wiped his hands off, and Mayor Bo picked himself up off of the floor.

"Hmph! You seem to understand the basics," the mayor huffed. "Alrighty, next time I won't go so easy on you, lad. Fight me as if you were fightin' one of the Gorons!"

_But you just SAID_ _that you weren't going easy on him!_ I thought, exasperated. And fighting a Goron wasn't any different from fighting Bo except Link wore the Iron Boots and a shirt.

Anyway, Mayor Bo ambled up into the circle again, and an epic battle ensued. Not really. Link pushed Bo, once again, out of the ring.

"Whoa, ho! Not too shabby, lad! With your natural talent, I'm sure you can take on the Gorons…" Bo said, surprised.

I stood up and wiped my hands on my pants, "Alrighty then. We're done here." I started walking to the main room.

"Hold on little lady! Don't you have to be trained as well?" Mayor Bo inquired. "I assume that is the reason you wanted to be a part of this."

_No, not really._ I turned around, "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I mean, I don't want to get these clothes all sweaty and gross, I don't have anything to change into, you _are_ quite a bit larger than me, and-"

The mayor laughed, "I'm not going to fight you!" I sighed with relief; I'm glad I did not have to get to the part about how an old man wrestling an underage female could be taken as _weird_. "Link is."

"What?"

"But if you don't want to, I guess we can head back into the-"

"No!" I shouted; I blushed at my outburst. "I mean, no. I'll train with Link. This _is_ what I came for, right?" A chance to wrestle with a shirtless Link? _Pssh, BRING IT ON!_ I was going to live just about every fan-girl's dream!

I started walking over to the raised ring; then froze. "I get to wear my shirt, _right?_" I asked, terrified.

Mayor Bo just laughed.

_I'll take that as a "yes."_ I finished my short trip to the ring and stood at one of the starting lines. Link was already up there, crouched over in a tackle-ready stance.

He smirked as I crouched as well. "I'm not going to take it easy on you-"

"Just because I'm a girl yadda yadda yadda. Save it, sexist goat herder! We'll see who's the last one standing," I said sharply.

The words, "_Are you ready?"_ flashed behind Link. _Then "3"… "2"… "1"… "GO!"_ Before Link could move, I slapped him hard across the face. He stopped moving, placed a hand over his cheek, and put on a childish "why-would-you-DO-such-a-thing?" face. I almost laughed but let out a battle cry instead as I propelled my shoulder into his toned stomach in a pretty good football tackle.

_Thanks, Bro,_ I thought. I never knew watching my brother play football for six years would _actually_ come in handy some day.

Still shocked, Link did not fight back as I drove him over the edge of the circle. I stood above him –hands on hips – with a triumphant smirk.

Mayor Bo laughed from the other side of the room, "Ha ha! Looks like you've met your match, Link!"

Link propped himself up on his elbows and frowned at me. Being the good sport that I was, I hopped down and held out my hand to Link to take. He took it, and I pulled him up.

I clapped him on the back and said, "It's Ok. You didn't know you were going up against a master in the art of surprise and football tackling. But don't worry! You still did pretty well… for a guy." Ok, maybe I was a sore winner. I looked over at Bo, "Sooo, do I pass?"

He laughed. Again. He was a jolly fella, like Santa. "Of course! Now, I think we're done here. Link and I will change and meet you back in the main room, lass!" He motioned for Link, wrapped one giant arm around his shoulders, and started jabbering about manly stuff.

_Boooooring._ I wandered into the main room and sprawled out on a kitchen chair. The main room was a mix of a kitchen, dining room, entryway, bedroom, and living room. A stairway led up to a bedroom where the guys were probably changing.

A few minutes later, they walked down the stairs together and started talking.

"You've gotten a sight stronger in the short time you've been gone, Link…" The mayor commented - fully clothed again, thank goodness.

_"A sight stronger?" Whatever,_ I thought.

"Strong as you are, though, you can't hope to beat the Gorons wrestlin' with just power alone. Those Gorons are made of rock! Now, the secret to beatin' the Gorons… is locked away in that chest," Bo stated without moving.

_You keep it locked up in a chest, in your _kitchen_? And I'm pretty sure that wasn't there before._

"Take it with you, lad."

Link nodded and walked over to the treasure chest. Apparently this had to be made into a huge deal… Even though it was.

Link bent down to open the chest; the treasure chests had shrunk over the past few games (or maybe Link grew?). As the top of the chest was opened, the lights dimmed for effect; the inside glowed, and music started playing. Link reemerged with the Iron Boots and a _danananaaah!_

A box appeared, _You got the iron boots! Wear these and you'll become so heavy, not even a Goron will be able to move you!_

_What are you _talking_ about, Box? They can move Link with those on!_ I contradicted.

"You can probably tell, those boots are made of iron, lad," Mayor Bo obviously stated.

Really_? The name DEFINITELY didn't give any clue to that. And if they're so heavy, how come Link can carry them without a problem?_

"Whoever wears 'em," the mayor continued, "won't easily be pushed around… even by a Goron. If you're fixin' to fight a Goron, be sure to wear these boots.

"… Let's be square, though, lad: you can't ever tell ANYONE about those boots! 'Specially Renado!" Bo looked over at me, "That means you too, lass."

I lazily raised my right hand and uttered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good **(H)**."

Mayor Bo glanced at Link; he just shrugged. Bo just nodded, accepting my _Harry Potter_ reference.

"Alright! Now off with ya!" the mayor said as he pushed us out of his home. "Give 'em hell, Link!" He exclaimed as he slammed the door behind us; Link and I looked over at each other. I shrugged and walked over to Epona.

"So, now back to Kakariko," I said.

"Yep," Link responded as he checked and readjusted the saddle.

He was about to get on Epona when I stopped him, "Uh, no. I'm riding in back this time!" And with that, I pushed him aside, climbed onto Epona, and scooted back for Link. He didn't say anything as he mounted the horse. He flicked the reins, and Epona jolted forward. Instinctually, I latched onto Link; he didn't do anything or give any reaction. I mentally shrugged and continued holding onto Link. A phrase I used every so often popped into my head, "Opportunity."

_What? I am NOT taking advantage of this situation!_ I argued with myself. _I would fall off if I didn't hold on!_

_ Sure,_ another mental voice said, unconvinced. Man, I hated it when I couldn't agree with myself.

_Shut up._ The other voice remained silent as we passed through the small canyon that led to and from Ordon.

**A: "…as romantic as this is…" Midna said that, and even though it doesn't really **_**sound**_** like she's hitting on Link, that's just what I thought. **

**B: In Mythology we read the Odyssey, and whenever Odysseus was addressed they said this, "Odysseus, man of many wiles, divine son of Laertes." So, my friends and I made fun of that because it happened EVERY TIME. **

**C: Majora's Mask reference! Epona's speed was measured by carrots.**

**D: There was this ad on T.V. (in America at least) about "The Event." Link shirtless **_**is it**_**.**

**E: Psychology term (thank you Psych). It's when the memory is JUST out of your grasp. I'm pretty sure EVERYONE has experienced this.**

**F: One of **_**the lamest **_**jokes I have ever written.**

**G: LionRoar didn't get it. It's a reference to someone being SO hot that you could bake cookies on them.**

**H: Harry Potter. Duh. **

**Anyway… Review? :3 Was it worth the wait?**


	8. Chapter 8: MarySue

**B/N: OMG! I'M DEAD! Just kidding. That doesn't make any sense now does it? Noooooo. Anyway, I'm **_**finally **_**typing this thing up. **

**Well. Since I talked to y'all last chapter, my LoZ nerdness has grown exponentially. One, I went to an anime convention, hugged Link (**_**squee!**_**), and bought a bunch of LoZ merchandise; two, I made a Link on Rock Band 3 (heh heh heh… yeah. ^^;); and three, I have a henna tattoo of the Triforce on my hand. Yup. **

**So anyway, onto da chapter! This chapter is dedicated to my male readers and those who found me on DeviantArt. I salute thee!**

**The story rating has been changed to "T" now because of "stabbing" and the words "acid trip."**

Link and I (and Epona) were trotting along merrily on our way back to Kakariko Village when I thought, _Ya know, I haven't seen Jo for a while. _I tried to recall the next time Link was scheduled to receive Hero lessons. A minute later, I remembered.

"DOILIES! **(A)**" I shouted. Goldie was back in the Ordonian spring; good thing we were only in Faron woods. "Link!" I yelled in his ear, " You have to turn around and go back to Ordon!"

"What? _Why?_ And _quit _screaming in my ear!" He turned his head sideways to glance back at me; he was also rubbing his "sensitive" ear.

"Because! You skipped your Hero classes! And that doesn't look good on report cards!" The many times I played this game before now leapt to my mind; every _single _time I would forget about the wolf's hiding place. One time, I forgot about it until right before the last temple; I had to go _all _the way back to Ordon to learn that "special move." Man, that was troublesome.

"Hero classes? _Report cards?_" Link inquired.

"You know, Hero classes! When you are teleported to that alternate dimension with the clouds and castle in the background and the creepy ghost soldier that fades in and out of shape and has the glowing eyes and teaches you moves like the 'helm-splitter', my personal favorite, and others…" I stopped after I saw the disbelief in Link's eyes. I fidgeted nervously.

"How do you know all that?" He asked astonished.

"Uh… you told me! Don't you remember?" I chuckled nervously. Man I hope my eye didn't twitch. He stared me down, and I kept my hopefully convincing "innocent" look.

Link turned forward again, "Nope. I don't remember, but then again, I do have a bad memory." He pulled the reins and pointed Epona back towards Ordon.

I smirked; Link believed me so easily. It was actually quite sad… _Or maybe he doesn't believe me, but trusts me enough to listen to my suggestions? Or he just doesn't want to argue with me? ... _OR_ maybe he has a secret agenda and is just using me!_ I glared accusingly at the back of his head. Link didn't flinch. _Ooo, he's good,_ I thought as I laid my head against his prickly shield. I couldn't wait until we tackled the Goron temple and Link ditched the dumb wooden shield. I was so uncomfortable that I seriously deliberated on whether I should return to the front of the saddle. After a minute though, the rear remained the better option in my mind; I could never be sure what Link might try.

Once Link, Epona, and I rode over the bridge to Ordon, we slowed down. As we passed the spring, I made Link stop. "He's in _there_," I whispered conspiringly while pointing at the cove.

"Where?"

"_IN. THERE._" I flatly stated while emphasizing my point with my arm more; actually, it was more of violent flailing, but whateves. I did understand his confusion though; one would think something as important as _learning a new ancient move_ would be easy to spot, but no. The dumb wolf was tucked in a cozy little corner. The phrase "out of sight, out of mind" had never been truer. I'm positive the only reason I always forgot about Goldie in that spring was because he wasn't explicitly placed.

Link dismounted and glanced up at me as if deciding whether or not to offer his assistance; he knew I didn't want it. Gentlemenliness **(B)** won in the end though. He held his hand out to me; I shoved my "no-help-needed-ever" feelings aside, took his hand, and hopped off Epona. I stumbled, but did not fall (I never fall).

"Thanks," I mumbled as I drew my hand away; my body had increased a few degrees. _Bad hormones! BAAAAD hormones!_ I scolded myself silently.

"No problem," he smiled. Link quickly scanned the spring. "So… where is he _exactly_?"

"Around the corner," I stated as I gestured to the right. As he strolled towards his next acid trip, I gazed behind me and spotted the furtive rupee bushes. I grinned stupidly at the memory of my first moments here; that was when I had discovered I actually had stealth skills. Ah, good times.

I ambled around the bend just in time to see Link and Goldie disappear in a flash of light. I didn't shield my eyes since it was gone in a second, and lifting my arm was too much work. I looked about the cove for a good place to wait for Jo. There weren't any nifty sitting rocks, so I picked the nearest wall, leaned against it, and slid down. I hoped Jo wouldn't be long because I had a _lot_ of questions for him, and I didn't want to forget them.

It didn't take long. My eyes were closed when I heard, "Well, we meet again, Ashley, woman of many bracelets." I opened one eye and appraised Jo. He changed clothes, but not colors; everything was still purple. He wore more "Earthy" attire: jeans, a belt, t-shirt. He still had his "god bling" and still didn't wear shoes. He looked good in Earth garments, but that didn't surprise me.

"Stalker," was my greeting. I had never told him my full title **(C)**.

Jo just chuckled, "Well, of course! I'm your 'guardian angel,' remember?"

I couldn't argue with that. "So, I see you went dimension surfing."

He gazed down at his clothing and examined it like everyone does when a comment on his or her garb is made. "Yeah. I thought it was time for a change."

"You haven't changed in 400 years?" I exclaimed appalled.

"What? No! Of course I have!" Jo said appalled as well. "And where did '400 years' come from?"

I shrugged, "I dunno. I just figured you were that old."

He grimaced and placed a hand over his heart, "That hurt."

I waved it off, "You'll get over it."

"… Anyway, like I was saying before I was so _rudely _interrupted…" He shot a pointed glare at me. I didn't react. "Take a look at this." Jo indicated his shirt. I inspected the shirt closer; because it was _all _purple, I didn't notice that it had a logo and writing on it. The logo was the Triforce, and the writing said, "I made the Triforce." It was very similar to another LoZ shirt I had except it was green and said "saved" instead of "made **(D)**."

I smirked, "I didn't know you had a sense of humor, Jo." Apart from the "laughing-at-the-expense-of-others-Midna" humor of course.

He laughed, "Of course I do! I picked you as my Hero, didn't I?"

My eyes narrowed, _What are you implying?_

"Anyway," he transitioned as he sat down, "I know you have a bunch of questions for me."

I glowered at him, _How would he know? Can he read my mind?_

He didn't even blink, "God's intuition."

Well, that didn't answer my question directly; I decided to try and guard my thoughts around him, but I pretty much knew that it was a lost cause. I always thought about stuff I didn't want to. Like the Game. Which I lost.

"So," Jo said slightly impatient (or did he not want me to dwell on his mind-reading skills? Or maybe he was just mad that I made him lose the Game), "What's the first Q?" Well, isn't _he _hip, using "Q" instead of "question."

"How's the weather?" It was the first question that popped into my head.

Jo stared at me like I was dense for a moment, glanced at the sky, then back at me, and smirked, "Pretty good."

I felt just a _bit _embarrassed. "You wanted a question!" I stated defensively.

"Yeah, but I'm talking about the heavy stuff, not the dumb small talk stuff."

"Fine, _fine_. Just let me think for a second!" I felt like one of those people you see on game shows that decided it was a great time to become a mute right when they need to speak. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples with two fingers only for dramatic effect; I didn't really need to massage my head to think. _Where to start? Where to start…_ I didn't plan what my first question was going to be; when I contemplated about this during the boring parts of the Forest Temple, I thought more of the middle of the conversation. I finally decided on the section that could roughly be called "damages."

"Um, my glasses," I started. "How come they aren't broken or lost yet? Did you _do _something to them while I wasn't awake or watching or something?"

"Nope. I haven't altered your glasses. Your pair of glasses just happen to be awesome." Jo raised his eyebrows, "Would you like me to do something about your eyesight? De-blind you? Un-dryable contacts?"

"Indestructible and not-easily-lost glasses would be nice." I liked my glasses; I thought they added a cool, smart air about me.

"Alright," he said as he snapped his fingers. I was expecting something magical or spectacular to happen or even just something noticeable, but nope. Absolutely nothing happened. To make sure Jo wasn't trying to con me into thinking he was more awesome or something, I took off my glasses and slammed them into the wall behind me. I didn't think of the consequences if he was lying to me, but lucky for me, I didn't have to. My glasses bounced off unharmed and landed a foot away.

"Nifty," I smiled. I retrieved them, put them back on, and gazed back at Jo. He reacted differently than I had expected. His expression showcased shock and a hint of revulsion. Why? Who knows? Any normal person would have done the _exact _same test that I did, or so I was convinced. "What?" I inquired.

"You don't trust me?" Jo asked aghast.

"Guess not." Was that difficult to understand? I had only met the guy once before in my life.

"Why?"

" 'Cause."

" 'Cause why?"

"Why does it _matter?_"

"… 'Cause."

"A-_ha!_" I exclaimed while pointing.

Jo sighed, "Fine. Next question."

I shrugged, _Whateves._

My next question: Why could I bleed? Jo explained that since humans are complex beings, I could not be "downloaded properly" into this universe, so the rules that applied to Link didn't necessarily apply to me. My life and his were still connected (we still shared "hearts"), but how much our injuries drained that life was different. For example, the amount of hurt an enemy could inflict on Link was already set, even if he was stabbed in the heart, whereas if _I _was stabbed in the heart, I was almost guaranteed death. I pondered why Jo decided to tell me this _severely _important piece of information _now._

"So, does that mean that they don't have blood?" I asked.

"Yep. They weren't made that way. They don't have organs or blood or anything like that. Your composition and theirs are _completely _different."

I nodded; I was pretty sure I understood. "So, do I have any perks now that I'm in this world?"

Jo thought for a second, "Well, since your clothes aren't all that difficult to alter, they should have the bizarre feature of endless pocket space. Also, heavy stuff becomes light in your pockets." He deliberated more, "And apparently you have the ability to comprehend any language since you can understand Link, Midna and me."

_Awesome! _I thought, _Now I don't have to study for foreign language classes anymore! _

"You can turn into an animal, but I gave you that." Jo paused quizzically before continuing, "And you could have the uncanny ability to wield any weapon flawlessly without any practice like Link." That would _definitely_ be convenient. Jo shrugged, "but I don't know about the last one."

I nodded; I _really _hoped the last one was true. Everything would be _so _much easier.

"Next question, Ash," Jo said as he nudged me out of my hopes and dreams.

I blinked, " 'Ash?' " Since when did we get on nickname terms?

"Yeah," he replied nonchalantly, "You gave me a nickname, I thought I should give you one."

"I only call you Jo because 'Jorde' is a dumb name."

His smile became strained, "Maybe 'Ashley' is a dumb name."

"Fat chance, _Jo_," I stated disbelievingly.

After a moment of glaring, I asked, "What about sleep?" This one question had been bothering me the most because I love sleep, and I hadn't felt the need to take a nap for a few "Hylian" days.

"You still run on Earth time," Jo enlightened. "Here, it has been about two days, but in _your _world, it has been a few hours."

"Okay, but what about Link? Does _he _ever sleep? Or do they just have beds for show?"

"Yeah, he sleeps," Jo confirmed, "but just not during the quest, or while you're controlling him. Basically, he sleeps when the game is off."

_So I _was_ right,_ I thought. "Alright, so I won't feel tired for another few days then?"

"Depends on the last time you slept." Well, I think the last time I slept was a nap before (a _failed_ attempt at) driving home from the anime convention; or possibly before I woke up in this world, but I have no clue how long I was unconscious.

"Okay, okay," I muttered to myself. I would have maybe five days before tiredness started showing up, but that was only if I was bored. Usually, I could fight off sleep for a _long _time.

"Anything else?" Jo prompted. I thought for a moment.

"Where's this 'defense' you said you were going to give me?" I asked sharply. It would have been _more _than helpful in the Forest Temple and fighting off those dumb shadow creatures.

"Like I said before, you'll have to wait," Jo answered.

I was irritated, "Ok, but _how long_? When I'm dead?"

He laughed, "No, silly! What use would you be to me if you were dead?" Well that was comforting.

I pursed my lips and glared at him, _Easy for him to say. He's a god, and they don't die easily. _

Jo sighed, "It's coming up soon, but I want it to be a surprise."

'_A surprise?' What a weirdo._ I thought, but I guess that was all I was prying out of him. At least I know it's coming "soon," whenever _that _is.

I was about to ask another question when Jo cut me off, "I suppose I should tell you…"

"Tell me what?" I asked curiously.

"Around this world, I have placed various treasure chests."

"Why?"

"Because. I thought you might need some stuff."

"Okay… then that means… the Aspirin was _you_!"

He nodded.

"Well, I did _need _that," I commented. "Thanks."

"No problemo."

"Okay, so then-" I was stopped by Jo. He looked around sharply.

"Well, that's my cue to leave." He stood up and so did I. I gazed around for this so called "cue." Jo held out his hand, "Until next time."

"Until next time," I echoed, took his hand, and shook it.

Just as he turned to leave, I asked, "Say Jo? How come you chose me?"

"Because I knew you would be a fun person to meet," he replied with a grin.

I grinned as well, _Suck up._

"And remember," Jo said quickly, "I'm _watching _you." He smirked and disappeared. No pop or poof, just gone.

He left me wide-eyed. _Creeeeeeper._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link returned from Hero lessons in a great mood; he stood straighter, his eyes were focused, and his walk was more determined. In contrast, I was a bit down; I missed another opportunity for a nap, and I _love _my naps.

Anyway, we rode back to Kakariko swiftly; it was uneventful like most treks are, but as we were trotting along the path that led to the village, we heard a scream. Link tensed up as his hero senses started tingling; he urged Epona into a mad dash. I almost flew off the rear, but managed to cling to his back before I was completely off Epona's back. Huzzah for quick reactions!

During the few seconds before we stampeded into Kakariko, I wondered who screamed. I didn't remember this part of the game. I remembered once we were in the village though. Colin was being kidnapped (again) by King Moblin (_again_). Link zeroed in on the moblin and seemed to disregard everything else in the village; if a person walked in front of Link at this time, he wouldn't even blink as the poor soul was trampled. The odds of that happening were low though; only three people lived here.

The surroundings merged into one giant abstract painting as Link somehow managed to get Epona to move faster. Holding onto Link was becoming a real workout, and my arm strength was tested when we had to leap over a gate. I managed to hang on.

King Moblin stopped on top of a grassy hill in Hyrule Field (one of them) with Colin tied to a random pole that was attached to the steed's saddle. How that happened in the course of thirty seconds, I have no clue. Link made Epona halt at the base of the small hill; at the same time, the king chuckled evilly and pulled out an intricately designed horn. He sounded it and a deep rumbling was heard not too long after.

Of course, I knew what the rumbling meant. "Link, focus on the king," I instructed him. "The minions will just keep coming back." He whipped his head around when I started talking; apparently he had forgotten I was still there. I found that hard to believe since I was basically squeezing the life out of him in an effort to stay on Epona. I was also clinging because I was terrified. I wasn't like Link; one stab to the back and _bam! _I'm dead. I also didn't have Jo's "amazing" defense. Yeah, I was in a _really _crappy situation. Maybe the front _was_ a better option…

Link unsheathed his sword as soon as he saw the minion moblins pour over the hill. The king ran in the opposite direction of his subordinates; Link dug his heels into Epona's flanks and yelled, "Hold on!"

_Oh, believe me, you don't have to tell me twice._

We rocketed across the plains, through the moblins and after their king. Luckily, the moblins were slow, so they didn't turn around until we were thirty feet away. Unluckily, they had arrows that were on fire.

_Aw, she-ite,_ I thought glumly. _Now they can shoot me in the back, and if the arrow doesn't finish me, then the fire certainly will._ I gazed around frantically, _What to do what to do what to- EEK!_ An arrow had flown right past us. I needed to think of something quick; Link wasn't focused on the back, he was concentrating on the front. Did he expect _me _to defend the back? That was a lousy decision on his part if he did.

"AH!" There goes another one. It was a matter of time before the dumb moblins hit their target. I was still looking around when Link's quiver of arrows hit me in the face. One glance and I had an epiphany; Jo's speculations came back to my mind, _"And you could have the uncanny ability to wield any weapon flawlessly without any practice like Link."_ Well, now was the chance to find out. I detached the bow from Link's back, and pulled out an arrow. I glanced from side to side, but no enemies were beside me. I sighed; I would have to turn around on a horse sprinting at full speed while it jumped over random obstacles. I also had to avoid Link's sword when he decided to take a swing at something.

_Whoopie, _I thought with mock enthusiasm. One hand held the arrow and bow, and the other had a death grip on Link's tunic. I hoped we didn't jump over any fences in the near future. I maneuvered my right leg to the left side, and then swung my left leg to the right. _Huh. That wasn't so hard. _I placed myself in a hopefully secure position and loaded the bow. I took aim, prayed, and let the arrow fly. And man how that arrow flew, straight and true, right into the moblin's head. After that, all the other moblins stopped chasing Link and I, we retrieved Colin and lived happily ever after.

Just kidding. My arrow only flew two feet; it flew "straight and true" into the ground. Guess that disproves Jo's theory.

_Man I wish I was a Mary Sue right now!_ I thought sourly **(E)**. _Well, time to think of Plan B. _I hastily decided on unhooking and hiding behind Link's shield, grabbing another arrow, and stabbing the crap out of any enemy that was close enough.

I didn't notice that Link had stopped slashing his sword because all my attention was on the moblins chasing us. This would have alerted me that we were moving to "phase two" of operation "GCBOE (Get Colin Back Or Else)" and then I wouldn't have fallen off Epona when she jumped over the wooden barrier that blocked the entrance to the bridge. But things don't always turn out as we hope.

As Epona leapt over the obstacle, Link stayed on; I fell off and straight onto my face. It wasn't my most graceful move ever. I laid on the stone for a few seconds wondering why my life was so terrible, but lifted myself into a sitting position after that. I rubbed my face with my forearm since my hand was still grasping the arrow.

"Ashley?" I heard Link call.

I groaned, "Yeah?"

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Awesome. I was important enough to break his vengeful trance.

I grunted as I stood up, "Yeah. Good enough." I turned and looked at the wooden fence; Link's head was peaking over the top.

"Okay. I'm going to jump back over and get you, alright?" He declared. "Then we can defeat the moblin king, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I replied. I didn't care. He could do it without me; he was a big boy. All I wanted to do right then was eat some Aspirin and pretend to be dead.

I'm guessing Link was just about to jump back over, but a fire arrow set the barrier ablaze. I heard Epona's panicked neigh. "It's alright, Link," I yelled over the fire, "Just kick his butt! I'll be fine." I hoped. I spun around and saw one moblin, the one that lit the wooden obstruction on fire.

_Ah, thank goodness! _I thought extremely relieved. It seemed the other minions left once their king jumped onto the bridge. Only one remained. _And he's going to die, _I thought gleefully.

His bow was already loaded and burning; I briefly wondered how he did that since he didn't have a match or lighter. Oh well. I charged at him (while screaming like a maniac I might add) behind Link's shield. He let the arrow go, but it hit the shield; the shield caught on fire since it was a worthless _wooden_ one. I tossed it aside before it could burn my hand off and ran faster at the monster with the arrow gripped like a knife in my hand. He was loading another arrow, but he was too slow. I stabbed him (as much as anyone _can _in a LoZ game) until he "poofed." I sighed in relief and meandered back to the burning barricade. I collapsed towards the side and waited for Link to be done.

_It shouldn't take _that _long…_

**A: I took Psychology during the course of the update drought, and my teacher told my class a story. Another class a few years earlier made up a word that they started using in their everyday language. It caught on and everyone started saying it. They used the concept of "conformity (I think. I can't remember; it was a while ago)." So, I thought it would be funny if my friends and I did the same thing, except use a dumb word like "doilies." We tried it, but we weren't committed so it never caught on. Oh well. **

**B: Yayz! New made-up word!**

**C: Ashley, woman of many bracelets, divine daughter of Doug.**

**D: It's at Hot Topic.**

**E: I really hope that statement isn't ironic. **

**Well, there we go. Kinda a dumb ending... But whateves. It's DONE! :D I worry that this doesn't make **_**any **_**sense. Does it? Please review. :3**

**P.S. Eternal Nocturne and I are writing two fanfictions together (LoZ of course). The combined profile name is "Eternal Hobbit (it's under my favorite authors)." Nothing (as of right **_**now**_) **has been published yet, but we'll get there. Eventually. **


	9. Chapter 9: Kids at Heart

**B/N: Well, hello y'all! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy (insert your choice of celebration)! It's nearing the end of the semester so I have more time to do something. But I think really what motivated me to _finally _get around to this was a fan-made movie "Legend of Link." Just watched it. Yes, I am behind. For those who have _not _seen it, it is actually funny; you just have to get past the first two scenes. **

**Anyway, a warning to the innocent, young readers, "bad words" are being used now as one can see in the first sentence (actually the first word), but they are the "mild" or _common_ (that's there for _your_ sake, Hina) ones. And they aren't used often so… I hope that doesn't drive readers away. It might. It probably will, but whateves. I can respect that. This chapter is also very meme-alicious. **

**_Anyway_, go ahead. I know you wanna read it. I'll stop now. **

**P.S. Thanks Hina-Kita (you know what for)!**

"Gawd-_damn__it, __Link! _Could you be _any _slower?" I shouted frustrated. Link had been trying to push the King Bulblin off the bridge for the past _hour. _Well, maybe not _hour_, but it certainly felt like it. Why did the computer _suck _at this part? Oh wait… the player was in control for this part. I almost slammed my head against the tower wall. That's _why. __I__'__m __not __telling __him __what __to __do. __I __could __have __been __done __with __this __crap __a_long _time __ago! _"Yo! Link!" I yelled as I heard him halt at my end of the bridge, "What you need to do is ride close to one side of the bridge- I suggest the right- until the last moment, and swerve around him while swinging your sword at his side."

"Oh, so _now_ you help me," Link remarked.

"Well, I thought you would be able to handle this on your own, but _apparently _not," I retorted. "Just do it. It should work better than whatever you were doing before."

I heard a huff of irritation and the sound of hooves galloping away. I think I heard a groan of pain too; the bulblin and his steed stopped at my end of the bridge, and an idea sprung into my head. I climbed on to one of the small walls on the sides of the bridge entrance so I could see over the flaming fences blocking the ends.

"Hey!" I yelled at the King. "You got nothing on him. You see those eyes? Those are the eyes of a merciless monster. He's just been playing with you this entire time; he could have pushed you over the edge at any time, but he finds it more satisfying when he sees the hope leave a victim's eyes and turn in to terror when he ends their life. Then he will find your family and kill them without any hesitation just because you decided to challenge him. He won't even blink. He'll even bathe in their blood." Ok, so that was just a _bit_morbid (I watch too much _Criminal __Minds _and too many horror movies), but I was starting to get into this whole "psych-him-out" thing. The bulblin looked back at me. I froze. Those eyes were as freaky as hell. They were beady and red and… creepy. I couldn't help but shiver under his gaze. I got the whole "bathe in blood" thing switched. _He _would do the things I said, which was surprising to me. He didn't seem like the type in the game, especially when he said something like, "I work for the stronger side, but I'm not sure which one that is anymore." Except more caveman-y. He seemed like some brawny follower.

Anyway, he faced forward again and rode off to continue jousting with Link. I stood rigid in the same place, wide-eyed. Link came sliding to a halt at my end again, and turned forward.

"Hey, what were you screaming at him? I'm not sure it had any effect." He glanced back at me, looked forward, then swiveled his torso towards me. "Hey. Hey! Ashley! You alright?"

I focused on him. "Um… yeeeeeah. Perfect."

He didn't believe me.

"Seriously, just focus on your fight. I'm fine." _Enough._

He was going to continue scrutinizing me, but the collision of hooves on stone could be heard moving closer, so Link took off. Less than thirty seconds later I heard a guttural scream that faded. Then King Bulblin's pig crashed through the wooden fence. I dramatically jumped backwards while shielding my face and torso with my arms. I noticed that Colin was still tied to the pole. I turned my head back towards the bridge. Link and Epona had stopped at the edge where I assumed the King had been thrown over. I hopped down from the stonewall and started walking in their direction. Link then pulled on the reins so Epona reared up. Link jabbed his sword skyward **(A)** in victory. It was an epic scene, but the weird part was that it was in slow-mo, like in the game. I remembered this part well. I'm pretty sure it signified some sort of character growth/transformation, but I didn't think that far into it then or now. Right now, I was focused on ruining the moment. It's what I do.

"Um, Link?" I think I startled him back into normal pace because Epona's front hooves smashed back down to the ground at the usual rate. "Did you forget someone?" He stared at me, then at the distance where the hog disappeared.

"… Goat-dung."

I almost burst out laughing at that. "_What?__"_

His hand whipped out at me, "Quick, give me your hand!" He waved it more when I didn't take it immediately.

I reached for it casually, "Hold your horses, we'll get to hiii_iiiiiimmm_!" Link flung me on Epona and took off. I was thrown across the front of Epona on my stomach. I wasn't even _sitting _on the dang horse! "Hey, hey, HEEEY! HOLD ON A SECOND!" But there was no stopping Link when he was in "the zone." _I __am __so __going __to __fall __off __this __horse._

And guess what? I'm psychic. The first fence we jumped over I was propelled off and fell square on my back on the ground and luckily not the fence. I also landed on something else. "GAWD-DAMN RUPEES!" **(B)** I shrieked as I removed it from underneath my back. I chucked the revolting thing as far as I could in what I assumed Link's direction. "Stupid goat-herders and their stupid hero complexes…" I mumbled venomously, as I lay sprawled out on the ground staring at the sky. Next, I resolved to take a nap. Hopefully, I could sleep out most of the pain. I _still_ had not broken anything thankfully. _I __wonder __how __many __hearts __this __cost__… __After __I __beat __up __Link, __I__'__ll __make __him __take __a __potion __or __stand __in __the __spirit __spring__… __and __then __beat __him __up __again. __Or __maybe __I __could __beat __him __up __while __he__'__s __in __the __s__pring. _I smiled to myself as I began to doze off to a continuous movie of me pummeling Link, but the ground rumbling stopped that from progressing. I heard him dismount and walk up to me. His shadow blocked out my sunlight; I scowled. "You're blocking my light, ass-tard."

No answer.

My frown deepened. "Did you want something? Because I'm sort of busy right now." I opened my eyes and glared straight up at him. Link stared right back, but his gaze was guilty. _Extremely _guilty. _Serves __him __right_, I thought.

"… Are you alright?"

I was probably frowning as much as I could at this point. "Oh _yes_. I'm just _perfect. __PERFECT. _I mean, I only was _thrown _on a horse that started galloping at full blast, and _not __to __mention_, I wasn't even _sitting_on the dang thing! I had the stupid saddle horn lodged in my gut so _that_ was _definitely _comfortable. And _then _I was flung off and landed on another _gawd-damn __rupee_ all the while my partner didn't even _flinch._" He flinched then. "So _yes._ I am '_alright_.'" I closed my eyes again signifying that I was not going to forgive him easily.

"I'm _so_ sorry," he said remorsefully.

"Yeah, you _better_ be!"

"I'm sorry! But sometimes I just can't control myself-"

"Then _learn _to control yourself!" I opened my eyes and glared at him again. "If you don't, more of this _crap _is going to happen! I mean, you couldn't wait _one __freakin__' __second_ for me to sit on Epona like a _normal __person?_"

"Ok, ok! I get it! I'll try to control myself!"

"No, you _will_ control yourself."

"Ok, I _will_." He knelt down next to me, "Now, do you need help up?"

"Nope."

Link blinked. "You sure?"

"Yes! Because I'm not _going_ anywhere!" I was still in a sour mood. Falling off a horse sprinting as fast as she can does that to a person.

"Aw, come on! I said I was sorry! Three times now! How many times do I have to say it to get you come with me?"

"Keep saying it, and I'll tell you when."

He rolled his eyes, "Come on! I still have to get Colin!"

I raised an eyebrow, "You mean… he's not on Epona?" I looked as much as one can while lying on the ground at Epona's back. It was lacking Colin.

"No! I had to get you first," he explained agitated.

"That was probably a bad idea…" I said as my bitter mood ebbed.

"Only if this takes too long, so _please_, can we go now?" He begged.

_Well, __when __he __puts __it _that _way__…_ "Ok, fine. Let's go." I was not going to have this riding on my shoulders.

Link's tense shoulders slouched, and the strained look on his face turned to relief. I'm pretty sure he was thinking, "_Finally!__"_ He held his hand out to me, and I accepted it. He didn't fling me on to Epona like last time, thankfully. He gently lifted me up until I was standing; I became light-headed and that weird TV static-y vision overran what I was seeing before. My arm latched on to Link so I didn't topple over. My other arm went to my aching stomach, which had become great friends with the horn on the saddle.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just hang on a moment…" The dizziness always passes in a few seconds, and now was no different. I shook my head a tiny bit and let go of Link. "Yeah, I'm good," I managed to hiss out. _Sheesh. __My __stomach __didn__'__t __hurt _this _much __when __I __was __lying __on __the __ground._ He let go of me, but kept watching me. We started walking over to Epona, but my left leg hurt as well, so I walked like a zombie who was shot in the gut.

"You're _sure_ you're fine?"

_What __is __this, __like __the __fiftieth __time __he__'__s __asked __today?_ "YES. I'm fine… Enough."

Link gave me an unconvinced look.

"I said, 'Enough!' I acknowledge that I'm not at one hundred percent, but I'm at like seventy-six percent, which is still functional." I hobbled up to Epona, put my left foot into the stirrupand tried to lift myself up. Well, since I used my left foot, of course it sort of collapsed under my weight, so I fell backwards. I also couldn't suppress a pained inhalation of air. Of course Link was right there and caught me.

He looked down at me unimpressed, "'Seventy-six percent,' eh?"

I smiled sheepishly, "Well, maybe not _seventy-six_…"

He snorted, picked me up, and set me on Epona easily.

_I _can't _be __that __light_, I thought as I watched him climb on Epona after me. He sat in front of me; I'm glad he still honored my request to sit in the back.

Link glanced back at me, "You ready?"

I yawned, "Yeah." I wrapped my arms around him. "Go."

He flicked the reins, and off we went. We started out slow, probably to make sure the ride didn't damage me more, but it didn't do much (that I voiced). So, the speed increased until it was almost break-neck pace. The entire time, I was becoming exceedingly drowsy; eventually I leaned fully on Link and closed my eyes. His back was nice and warm, and I was grateful that I had burned his shield otherwise this would be really uncomfortable. I started thinking about telling Link about his shield; then I wondered if he had noticed; then I went off topic, and fell asleep. On a horse. Wow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Oh__my__gosh._ There was water _everywhere._ _What __the __Kevin? _**(C)** I was dreaming about being in _Legend __of __Zelda_ and then _water_? What was the connection? _What?_ Then again it was a dream…

I lazily stretched and heard sloshing. I frowned and stretched more. More sloshing. I opened my eyes and there above me was Link's beautiful face. He smiled at me. I smiled back. _Well __I __like __this __dream __already- __hey __WAIT __A __MINUTE._ My eyes widened, and I sat up quickly. I had been lying in his lap in Eldin's spring; I started blushing and thought, _That __explains __the __water __in __my __dream, __which __means __I __should __be __awake__… __Unless __this __is __Inception. __I __should __find __out. _I looked at my hand then slapped myself. I heard gasps behind me and turned around. The whole "town" was there plus the Ordon children; well, the debate on my sanity was now stronger for the plaintiff's side: insane. My defense lawyer wasn't doing so well, I should hire another one… Anyway, the sting from my self-inflicted slap was still there, so that pretty much confirmed that I was awake. But I wanted to make sure…

I looked at Link. He looked at me. We stared deeply into each other's eyes; our faces started moving closer and closer… Then I poked his face. He pulled back with a "what-the-fudge?" look. I moved my hands to his face and started mushing it together and stretching it apart. _Yep, __I __definitely __feel __his __face. _Don't ask why, but I had to confirm that I could feel this world; I can't feel in dreams, at least _physical_ things. Why not just touch the ground? Well, because that's no fun.

Link finally stopped me from messing with his face and said slightly irked, "Yep, she's fine."

I grinned in agreement. _I __guess __this __spirit __water _does _work. _I didn't feel like crap anymore, and I wasn't exhausted; also, I wasn't cold, which is strange since I was lying in a pond for a while **(D)**. Must be a heated spring. Anywho, I must have had a nice nap, or else the water in this spring was pure caffeine; I also hoped I wasn't limping anymore. Limping wasn't that attractive. I stood up and stretched some more. Link stood up, moved a few feet out of the spring, and knelt down. He picked up Colin and held him. I stopped, _Wait__… __I __was _still _more __important __than __Colin?_ That meant that I didn't sleep through a cut-scene. _FFFFFFFFUUUUUU-, _I thought.

"Is everyone… OK?"

_Crap. __It__'__s __started. _I sighed and sat down by the gathering, but not in it. I didn't feel like I was "welcomed" in this cut-scene.

Link nodded towards the unharmed Ordon children showing that everyone was indeed "OK."

Colin saw them, "… Good." He stared at Beth, "Beth… I'm sorry. You know… for shoving you. Are you mad?"

For a moment, when Colin said, "Are you mad?" the troll head popped in my mind along with the subtitle, "U mad?" I almost burst out laughing and ruined the moment. In fact, I don't know why I didn't. That's what I do, is it not?

Back to the scene at hand, Beth shook her head vigorously. I think it's quite sad that Colin would think that Beth would be mad at him for pushing her out of the way of a massive hog that was about to trample her. Was he really ridiculed by those kids _that_ much?

"I… I think I finally understand. I understand what my dad meant when he told I needed to be stronger, like you, Link…"

_Cue random subject change._

Colin raised his chubby child arm straight up, "He wasn't talking about strength, like lifting stuff."

_But __that__'__s __what __men __do! __Lift __stuff! __That__'__s __all __they __do all day everyday__!_ **(E)**

"He was talking about being brave…" Link was listening but was watching Colin's arm. I was too because I always wondered what the point of lifting it was. Colin suddenly closed his hand into a fist, and it fell back to the ground. "Link… You saved me, didn't you?"

Link actually glanced in my direction before looking back at him, smiling, and nodding. The glancing was not in the original game as one could have guessed since no one was over there, but whateves. Close enough.

"You… You can do anything," Colin was almost whispering now.

_Sheesh, at this rate, Colin could be called one of those Light gods. _

"You can do something to help the Gorons in the mine too, can't you, Link?"

Link managed to nod again before Colin fainted, but by the way this scene was going, I was surprised he wasn't dead. Everyone gasped when they saw Colin pass out. Talo went as far as taking him from Link's arms and trying to haul him to the inn (at least I assumed that was where he was going). What I found funny was that Link didn't stop Talo as he dragged Colin by his arm a few feet; he just knelt there and watched. The shaman stopped Talo though, picked Colin up, and took him to the inn. Everyone watched Renado and Colin disappear in the inn, then dispersed except for Talo, Link, and I.

"I can't believe Colin…," Talo started, "I mean, that was a really brave thing for him to do, huh? Especially since he's such a weakling!"

I smirked, _Still __can__'__t __lay __off __the __kid, __eh?_

Talo looked at Link, "Um… He IS gonna be all right, right?"

Link gave him an "of-course!" look. Talo nodded and wandered off.

Link stared at the inn for a few more seconds before he stood up and brushed off his pants.

I stood up too, "You know, that spirit water really does the trick! I feel more than one hundred percent!" I walked up to him. "It's a wonder that it didn't heal Colin fully, but of course, that's the game's fault. You wouldn't have determination to go and help the Gorons otherwise."

He gave me another "what-the-_hell_-are-you-talking-about?" look. As usual, I didn't answer his unspoken question.

"So, what happened when I passed out?" I must have passed out, or else I actually did sleep. I'm not easily woken during the first few hours of slumber.

"Well… we caught up to the hog, and I managed to stop him. I untied Colin, brought you two back to the spring, and stuck you both in it."

"Is that _all _that happened?"

Link looked confused, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, did I fall off Epona again?"

He tried to look innocent and rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know what you're talking-"

"Don't lie to me!"

He grinned sheepishly, "Well, you were unconscious… And still clinging to me…"

I gave him a look that said "So?"

"Well, when I was getting off of Epona to get Colin, and you slipped off as well… because you were still holding on to me." He gave another sheepish smile.

_I __certainly __have __a __knack __for __falling __off __of __horses__… __And __clinging __to __Link._ I figured out I had fallen off again because I could feel three bumps on my head. I fell off of Epona twice when I was awake. Falling off of horses reminded me of falling off the _second _time, which reminded me of my plans to take my revenge…

I slowly moved so the spring was directly behind Link, "You know, I still need to get you back for the second time I fell off of Epona since it was _your _fault."

He frowned, "Ok… How are you going to do that…?" He was trying to predict what I was going to do next.

"Well," I tapped my chin, "I was thinking that you could give me a Golden Bug, fifty rupees, and your hat."

"_Fifty_ rupees? My _hat?_ What, why those?" He was aghast.

"So I could do THIS!" I tackled him in to the spring. I knew his hat was the key to his downfall.

His head broke the surface; he shook out his hair and glared at me, "What the _hell?_"

I stared back, then dunked him. The water may have been shallow, but it was deep enough.

His head surfaced again. "STOP IT!" We stared at each other for a bit, Link daring me to dunk him again; I couldn't resist. I shoved him under the water again. This time, he surfaced a lot quicker. "Ok, you know what?" His eyes obtained an evil glint to them.

_Oh __shi-!_ I tried to get away in time, but it was futile. He was a great deal stronger than me, and he was also quick. He grabbed me, and dunked me. I broke the surface gasping and wiped away the water from my eyes. I glowered at him.

"Serves you right," Link said apathetically.

"But that was my vengeance!"

"And that was _my _vengeance."

"Fine." I punched his arm.

"Ow! Really?"

"Yes! More _vengeance!__" _

"I see how it is." He stood up, and I did the same. We started circling each other like those lions you see on some random Animal Planet documentary. We were waiting for the other to make the first move. I tried to fake him out a few times, but it didn't work. Eventually, I just stopped circling and stood casually. He stopped as well, but didn't stop crouching.

"I give up. Truce?"

Link was suspicious.

_Come on, take the bait…_

He studied me a bit more, but straightened up and nodded in the end.

I suppressed an evil grin. _Perfect_. I held out my hand for him to shake; he did the same, but before we could "shake on it," he grabbed my arm, pulled me towards him, picked me up, and tossed me into the deeper part of the spring. Just as my head emerged from the spirit water I thought, _Dang __it! __I __forgot __to __incorporate __his __intelligence __in to __the __equation!_ I took a deep breath and glared at Link. He was still in the shallow end, hands on his hips staring back aloofly. "I could have still been injured!" I exclaimed.

"You're not. You're 'more than one hundred percent,' remember?" He said unsympathetically.

"But I'm a liar! I wasn't actually at seventy-six percent when I said I was! Remember?"

He waved off my argument, "You're not still hurt. You _tackled_ me. An injured person wouldn't do that."

_You don't know my friends._ "The adrenaline kicked in," I tried.

He folded his arms.

I suddenly grabbed my right arm, "Ow! My right arm was injured while you were viciously flinging me across the spring!"

He rolled his eyes, "Next."

"Um… I can't swim!" I started flailing and slowly submerged myself. I waited for ten seconds before the top half of head rose out of the water to check Link's reaction.

Absolutely nothing. "That was pathetic."

I sprung out of the water, "Oh come on! Feel remorse for what you did!"

He wasn't budging.

I folded my arms and frowned. "I _hate_ losing," I said childishly.

"You aren't the only one," he said almost smiling.

Yes, I hated losing, which was why I had another plan that was about to commence. I pretended to check my pocket for something, checked my other pockets for it, then looked around frantically. I peered at bottom of the pool and started turning in a circle.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing that concerns _you_, Mr. Winner," I said coolly. I started moving away from where I was dropped.

"Yes it does, what are you looking for?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me," he waded towards me.

"It's nothing."

He stood right next me, "_What_ are you looking for?"

I stopped, and glared at him, "My _mother__'__s _ring. It must have fallen out of my pocket when you chucked me across the spring." Yes, the ring thing is cliché, but whatever. It worked.

Link became embarrassed, "Um… sorry."

"Whatever, just help me find it." I went back to mock searching.

He glanced at me for a moment, then joined me.

I waited until his back was facing me before I struck. I launched myself at his back, which caused him to go under, but instead of just dunking him this time, I grabbed his hat and took off (as fast as anyone can in waist deep water). The next thing I heard was, "_REALLY, __ASHLEY?__" _Then silence. I don't think he could process that his hat was in my hand instead of on his head.

I was almost out of the spring before I was tackled from behind. "The hell? I didn't even hear you!" I flipped over with my arm holding his hat stretched as far away as possible.

He was straddling my legs, reaching for his hat, which was just out of range.

I stretched even further. "What did you do, walk on _water?__"_

"YES. Because _that_ is possible!" He reached further, "Give me back my hat!"

"It is if you're a ninja or _Jesus!_ And no!" My hand dodged his grab for his hat.

He gave me yet another "what-the-hell?" look. "Gee-zus? What are you _talking __about?_You are _so _weird!" Another grab for his hat, "Give it back!"

"No! Get off of me first!"

"Give me back my hat first!"

"NO!"

"You are _so_ immature!"

"It takes one to know one!"

"Please! You started this! You and your stupid revenge!"

"Me and _my_ revenge? What about _yours?_ You fanned the flame!"

"Don't you put this on me! I _already_ said I was sorry!"

"You still _aren__'__t_ forgiven!

"You are _so_ stubborn!"

"Yet again, _it __takes __one __to __know __one!__" _

"Goddesses! You are so _infuriating!_"

"And you're a big CRAB!"

"I am _not-_!"

"_EXCUSE __ME!__" _A voice yelled.

Link and I whipped our heads to look at the newcomer and glared. It was Renado.

"_What_ are you doing?" He asked shocked.

We looked at each other and how we were positioned. We were in each other's faces, and Link was straddling me. We both started turning red. "Uuummm… we were arguing…" I said slowly.

"Oh yes, I heard _that_, but _what _made it escalate to _this_?"

"She… took my… hat…" Link said blushing.

"And _that_ was the cause of all this ruckus?"

Link and I looked in different directions.

Renado sighed, "Link, please get off of her." He scrambled off of me, and helped me up. We stood side by side facing Renado, ashamed and soaking wet. Link looked at his boots; I looked at the sky.

"If I didn't know you were siblings, I would have thought you were an old married couple!"

I moved my gaze further away from Link, _And _that _cliché had to __come __up._

"You guys really need to start acting your age! Link, you're an adult, for Goddess's sake! And here you are tackling young women in a _spirit__'__s_ spring! I really hope you haven't angered them and sentenced us to a drought!"

I snorted. _I __hate __to __break __it __to __ya, __Renado, __but __you__'__re __already _in _a __drought._

"And Ashley!"

I glanced at Renado.

"I forget how old you are, but you cannot be that much younger than Link, and here you are acting younger than Talo! _Malo_is more mature than both of you!"

_Ouch. __That __one __hurt, _I thought. The Talo insult. Malo was actually pretty intelligent, so that didn't mean anything… Except that he was a devious, evil miscreant.

"You both better start acting your age before you wake up the rest of the town, or else I might have to start treating you like you're children," Renado said firmly before walking away.

"Ok, Mom," I mumbled. Link and I glanced at each other and awkwardly looked away.

"Um, can I have my hat back?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said as I tossed it back while still not looking at him.

"So, the Gorons. We should probably go now."

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea." We both started walking with our heads down low.

"Let's forget that happened," I murmured.

"Agreed," he said as we continued walking towards Death Mountain pass while avoiding each other's gaze.

**Sidenotes:**

**A: You see what I did there?**

**B: That rupee joke is there for you, LionRoar (despite you disliking cursing) since you seem to real enjoy that joke.**

**C: Inside joke...**

**D: Just for _you_, Hina.**

**E: Disclaimer- The thoughts and feelings expressed in this fan fiction does not necessarily mean the author expresses the same thoughts and feelings. I.e. the author does not think that lifting stuff is all men do. She knows that they also open jars. That is all.**

**B/N: Goodness! _Still _not at the Goron Temple? My _goodness! _Next chapter, WE WILL GET THERE! **

**Anyway, Happy Holidays (again)! I apologize for my random/infrequent updates. But I have college stuff and _no-inspiration!_ I know! Sadness! Anyway, review, I guess…**

**P.S.S. I apologize if any words are not spaced apart. Fan-fiction does that to my documents when words are italicized sometimes. It's _annoying. Especially_ going through _this_. I've read my story _enough_ Fan-fiction! Thank you!**


	10. Update

This story is _not _over! I thought I'd get that out of the way so you aren't panicking until the end.

Anyway, so I thought I'd post this little update saying that I have not given up on a this story (seeing that I've got a few reviews saying that they want me to update and don't want this story to be done). I want to tell you ALL (that have me on alert) that I have a _really _bad updating schedule. If I haven't updated in a year, then you have a reason to think that I've stopped the story, but it hasn't been a year (or at least I don't think it has been…). Also, I would tell you if I stopped working on this story.

So, I am currently working on the next chapter. I usually (and unfortunately) only write when I get inspiration/motivation, which doesn't come my way a lot. Also, I have college to deal with right now (AND FINALS! AAAHHH!). But this will only last a few more weeks, so I should be able to work on the next chapter soon-ish. I have a page done right now.

Soooo, yeah. I'll probably post the new chapter over this "chapter." Also, I'm thinking of (sort of) rewriting the first few chapters because I don't like them a whole lot (my writing style at least), so be on the look out for that, or I guess you can send me a strongly worded message on why you think they should _not _be changed. Your choice.

Finally, I'd like to thank you guys for keeping faith in this story even with a horrible updating schedule (or at least some of you). So, thanks. :D

Bobbitt.


End file.

Legend of Zelda, Humor