Dragon Ball Z 1. Chapter I: Going Shopping

This is an alternate version of what happened three years after the Buu saga. Here's what happened. After defeating Buu, Goku decided to become a media icon rather than a defender of earth. He started a company that was able to copy the sacred Dragonballs so that everyone could make their own wishes. Each artificial Dragonball costs $10 dollars each. Goku became a billionaire. He worked at a super massive building called "Dragonball inc." After working, he would come home to his feaking sweet mansion with 12 different vehicles. Of course, Goku didn't need it since he could fly. The cars were there just to make their house look good. But anyways, let the story begin.

* * *

"Dangit Krillin, I told you to get me my beer!" Goku said, sitting on his red leather couch, watching Dr. Phil on his massive sized 3D t.v. Krillin was bought out by Goku. He was now his personal servant. Krillin walked over to Goku with his beer. He had it on a plate because Goku didn't like poor people giving him things with their filthy hands.

"Here's your beverage sir." Goku slapped the can off the plate and smacked the plate across Krillin's face.

"You fool!" Goku said. "You know I like beer in a glass! But whatever, I have to go to Kami's house. Something Chi-Chi wants me to do, so I don't lose my roots or some crap like that." Goku went into his bedroom to put on his orange suit and blue tie (It was his favorite colors.)

"Who defeated Buu? Who's the defender of earth? I am!" Goku said in the mirror when he was putting on his tie.

Since he was the founder of Dragonball inc, he had an unlimited amount of Dragonballs and could use as many as he wanted to. He grabbed out several of the balls from his closet and summoned Shenron. Shenron let out a sigh. He had a full time job, giving people wishes from around the world. He had dark circles under his eyes due to lack of sleep. He even lost 80 pounds since Goku started his company.

"What do you want now Goku?"

"Shenron, I command you to teleport me to Kami's house."

"Can't you just teleport their yourself? I've seen you do it a billion times."

"Yeah, but I'm kinda having a crap day. Can you just do it for me?"

"Pff! Fine, as you wish!" Shenron teleported Goku to Kami's house. It had been a long time since Goku had seen Master Roshi and the others. He walked up to the door and did a doucey door knob press, making it sound like the tune from Black Sabbath's Iron Man.

Gohan opened the door. It had been about three months since he saw his father. The last time they met, Gohan came to his company's building to give him a goody basket to support him and his business. But Goku took the basket and threw it out the building's window.

* * *

"I don't have the time for food!" Goku said to his son. "You know I made that wish where I can live without food!"

"Yeah dad, 90% of our population made that wish. I just gave you that because I wanted to acknowledge you and your invention of the artificial Dragonballs." Goku grabbed several Dragonballs under his desk and summoned Shenron.

"What is it Goku? I'm busy making wishes for the make-a-wish foundation."

"Shenron, I wish my son would turn into a Dragonball that had an unlimited amount of wishes and can never be duplicated." Gohan gasped at what his father did.

"Father, why would you do that to me?"

"Not you Gohan, I meant your little brother Goten."

"Are you kidding me! That's an even darker wish to make!"

"As you wish, Goku!" Shenron said. Meanwhile, Goten and Trunks were playing outside Vegeta's house.

"Be quiet kids! I'm trying to play with my Dragonballs!" Vegeta said. He used the Dragonballs to make himself insanely powerful. You couldn't even see his body. He was just a blinding image of light.

"Agh, okay dad!" Trunks said, as his eyes were burned from looking at his father.

"So what do we do now Tru..." Goten froze and disturbingly mutated into a Dragonball. Trunks was horrified.

"DDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"WHAT IS IT, I'M BUSYYYYYY!" Vegeta lost concentration and blew the house up.

"Daaad! You okayyy?" Trunks cried out.

"Don't go near me! I'm too powerful!" Vegeta said, with the lower half of his body buried under the rubble. Of course, this was just an excuse to hide his nudity, due to the explosion. Meanwhile at Dragonball inc, Goku was thinking about his second wish.

"Hhmmmm... Maybe that was a dark wish... Okay Shenron, my second wish is for my previous wish. I wish that instead of my son turning into an infinitely powerful Dragonball, he Turns into an anthropomorphic Dragonball kid!" Gohan's jaw dropped.

"Dad, why are you doing this? Your crazy!"

"No, this is an awesome wish! He can be my son and my wish making device."

"As you wish Goku!" Shenron said, turning Goten into a freak. "You know have one more wish!"

"I wish Goten would teleport here." Goku said. Shenron made the final wish and disappeared. Goten teleported to his father's office.

"Haha! He looks silly!" Goku picked up his big headed son and made a wish. "I wish we were three months into the future!" He said with a derp face.

* * *

Back to the present, Gohan opens the door to face his father once again.

"Oh, hey dad." Gohan said. "So where's mom."

"Oh yeah, Chi-Chi went to the super market to buy some of our pleasure food. I don't know where Goten is, he's been acting strange ever since I made him half Dragonball. He's not even himself anymore."

"He came here earlier today so he could go shopping with Master Roshi." Gohan opened the door wider for Goku to enter. "But Yamtcha, Bulma, Tien, Chiaotzu, and Piccolo are here."

"Oh, so the losers are here..." Goku said to himself. He sat in Master Roshi's couch and changed the program that everyone was watching.

"Hey, I was watching that!" Chiaotzu said.

"Shut up Cailou, I'm watching Naruto!" Goku said.

"Quit being a jerk Goku! Ever since you started that company, you've been acting like a total schmuck." Bulma said.

"Says the woman who married a perfectionist who's obsessed with defeating me because he's insecure and thinks he's better than me."

"Oooh burn!" Piccolo said. Goku looked at Piccolo in confusion.

"Piccolo? Is that you?" Piccolo didn't look like himself at all. He was a human.

"We found out that when Nemekians are transformed into a human, they're actually African American." Yamtcha said.

"Wow... Piccolo's black! Finally, we have a black person in our show!" Goku said. "Anyways, I'm just gonna stay here until Master Roshi and Goten return. If feel like making some stupid wishes today." Goku threw his jacket and tie on the floor and let out a belch, reclining on his mentor's chair.

"Is that a potbelly Goku?" Piccolo said. "Do you still train?"

"No, I quit doing it. I made a wish to be infinitely powerful and another wish so that no one else could do an infinite power wish like me. But physically, I'm out of shape. Got any beer?"

"You made an infinite power wish? That's probably why Vegeta's still trying to use the Dragonballs to be the most powerful person in the universe." Bulma said. "He's obsessed with buying them, and it's all piling up. He needs to stop, because it's really cutting into our budget."

"Well, that just means he's giving me more money. Ba-zing!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Goten and Master Roshi were arriving at the mall that Goten wished up. But Roshi didn't know he did that.

"Where did this mall come from?" Master Roshi said, as he parked his car. "Okay Goten, we're here!" Goten was in the back seat, eating gold covered chocolate covered caramel with ruby stars sprinkled on it to look like a Dragonball. The delicious ice cream balls were in kept inside a diamond bucket. Goku was right about his son, he was not himself at all and he looked like a complete stranger. He had the voice and personality of Ron Ben-Israel from Sweet Genius, and the head of a Dragonball. He had pale skin and the smile of Chris Colfer. He had 1 star on his forehead and thought that meant he was the best. He was nice, but only to his parents. Everyone else, he treated like trash, especially Master Roshi, because he could do whatever he wanted to with his unlimited wishes. He likes to wish up things that are free, but makes Master Roshi pay for it with his hard earned money.

"Mmm... Thanks again for buying me these _delicious_ ice cream balls!" Goten said, eating it in front of Roshi.

"Yeah sure, whatever, you greedy little bi-"

"What were going to say?" Goten said in a threatening manner.

"Ugh.. I said you giddy little boy, you!" Goten and Roshi got out of the car and the two went inside the mall.

"Woa, this place is fancy Goten! So I guess we should start-"

"I want this one!" Goten said, not even giving Roshi time to finish his sentence.

"Well wait a minute," Roshi said. "there might be a better shirt than that, don't rush." Goten grabbed Roshi's arm and they went to the women's clothing section.

"I want to buy this one!" Goten said, showing Roshi a pair of women's underwear.

"But your not a woman."

"Yes, but I'm half Dragonball, and therefor "I'm half the man I used to be!" Goten said, singing a line from a Nirvana song. He sang it so loud that everyone stared at them in the woman's section. Roshi blushed.

"Hehehe! Sorry everyone, that's just my grandson... _Quit __showing off Goten_." Roshi grabbed Goten's shirt and underwear to see the price tag._  
_

"What the! $200 dollars each? I could get a better deal at Sears! Come on boy, let's go." He grabbed Goten's arm and was about to leave the entrance.

"No! This place is fabulous. If you leave, I'll eat your heart." Roshi was both confused and intimidated by what his grandson said. He knew how powerful he was.

"Fine, we'll stay."

"Excellent! But just to make sure you don't leave." Goten wished for a collar to be tied around Master Roshi's neck. "Come on doggy, let's go to the designer jeans area."

"_Please stop Goten, your making people stare at us..."_ Master Roshi mumbled to himself, too afraid to say it out loud.

"Oh my goodness, I absolutely love these jeans!" Goten threw it in the cart. They went over to some hats, and Goten chose the most expensive hat for $450 dollars. He went over to some jackets and bought three leather jackets, in three different shades of black.

"Do you really need three jackets? Just pick one of them." Roshi said nicely, not trying to upset him. Goten ignored what he said and threw it in the cart, costing him $1525 dollars. Master Roshi was sweating. The amount of money his grandson was spending was ridiculous, and knew he would not have enough money to buy it all. He pulled out a canteen of alcohol to calm his nerves.

"No doggy!" Goten grabbed his canteen. "You can drink when we're done shopping!" Roshi moaned. They went over to the sunglasses for Goten to try them on.

"Do you think these sunglasses look good on me?"

"...Why you evil, snot-nose greedy-" Goten yanked the leash, making Roshi cough.

"Silence! I am done here. Let us go to the cashier." Goten dragged Master Roshi over to the cashier. He was having a hard time pushing the heavy cart.

"Can't you just wish for your clothes?" Roshi said. Goten ignored him and pulled out a huge wad of cash, it was his retirement money.

"Hey! Where did you get my reti-" Goten yanked the leash again, making Roshi cough.

"Okay, that will be $2000 dollars." The cashier said. Roshi shuddered.

"G-goten! Please stop, don't do this to me."

"Okay, here." Goten placed the money on the counter.

"Noooo!"

"Pleasure doing business with you. Your remaining total is $3000 dollars."

"You can have the rest."

"GOTEN!" Roshi had anxiety farts. Goten and Roshi left the mall with their items.

_"That was my money, my hard earned money, that was mine, mine!"_ Those were the only thoughts going through Master Roshi's head. They went into their car and drove away.

"Thank you sooo much for buying me my clothes!" Goten said. Roshi didn't respond. With his Chris Colfer smile, the devious Dragonball kid threw all of his new clothes out the window.

"Oh no, my clothes are gone. Oh well." Roshi quickly turned his head to Goten, with his facial expressions contorting with rage. But he had nothing to say. He turned the car into a hovercraft so the two could go to Kami's house.

"Hahaha! That was an amusing trip, wasn't it?" Goten said. "It was genius of me to wish up an expensive mall to spend your money on clothes I didn't need." He grabbed his Diamond bucket full of gold covered chocolate covered caramel balls and ate each ball with delight. He moaned in ecstasy.

"Mmmmm... _Delicious!_" He said with much emphasis on it.


	2. Chapter II: Playdate

Master Roshi and Goten arrive at Kami's house.

"I think they're here." Gohan said.

"I never saw Goten yet, what does he look like?" Piccolo said.

"Um, how should I put this..." Goku said. "He's everything Goten's not." Everyone looked at him confused. Roshi opened the door and waddled over to his bedroom. (If they even have a bedroom in that house.) Goten psychologically destroyed his own grandfather.

"Wait Master Roshi, I wanted t-" Roshi closed the door on Goku, unable to finish his sentence. "Well, at least my son's here." Goten walked in, with a smirk on his face.

"Hello everyone, hello father!" Everyone gasped, unable to recognize him.

"Oh hey, uh... Goten." Tien said.

"Agh! What's wrong with him?" Chiaotzu said, crying.

"Tien, get your child out of here!" Goku rolled up a newspaper to hit Chiaotzu.

"Stop! He's not my child and he's not a dog!" Tien picked up Chiaotzu and left. Goku grabbed Goten by the head.

"Hey son, wanna play with your friend Trunks?"

"Yes, I think that would be very amusing."

"Alright, I wish Vegeta was here." Vegeta appeared. His hair was long, spiky, and white. He was so buff, his fingers had biceps.

"Why am I here? What do you want Goku?" He said in a deep voice.

"Me and my son are gonna have a little play date, okay?"

"Fine, but don't bother me, I'm gonna be wishing for muscles inside of my bones." Goku left with his son.

"It was nice meeting you all. It helped me not to lose my roots. Bye Picklelou, Yamchew, and Balmow!" Goku wished for the three of them to go to Vegeta's house. Meanwhile, Trunks was at his house watching t.v. (They wished for their house to to be rebuilt.) Vegeta barged into the house, disintegrating The door.

"SON, GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH YOUR FRIEND, I'M BUSY!"

"Okay..."

* * *

Goten and Trunks were outside. Trunks was able tolerate his friend's new appearance, but he had a much different personality. Goku went over to his house so him and Chi-Chi could pay taxes. Which makes no sense since they could just wish for no more taxes in the world. The two kids looked at eachother, not sure what to do.

"...Uh, hey! How about we turn into Super Saiyans and fight?" Trunks said. He turned into a Super Saiyan, making Goten chuckle.

"Hehehe! No, your not gonna be a Super Saiyan anymore." He snapped his fingers, cancelling his friend's transformation.

"Hey! Why did you do that?" Trunks said. "Oh I get it, you want to fight in our normal forms!" He charged towards Goten, but Goten grabbed his hands. The palms of their hands touched eachother as Goten pushed him to the ground, kinda like what Tom Cruise did to Oprah.

"Come on Trunks, Let's use fusion!" Goten said in his strange, intimidating accent.

"Nooo!...No...Ughhh..." They didn't actually fuse. Goten just absorbed Trunks into him and took over about 100% of his body.

"I win!" Goten said. He went to his father's mansion without anyone knowing what he did to Trunks.

* * *

Later that night, the Goku family (I have no idea what their last names are) were all watching Game of Thrones until they heard the doorbell ring.

"Who's that?" Chi-Chi said. Goku walked over to the door and opened it. It was Master Roshi.

"Dad? What do you want?"

"I uh, wanted to meet up with you since I didn't get to earlier today."

"Okay, what? I'm watching some thrones right now." He said, taking a sip of his beer.

"Um, well you see... Uh... Can I stay with you guys for awhile?" Roshi glanced behind Goku. It was Goten sitting on the couch, staring at him the whole time he was here.

"And I'd _love _to play with Goten!"

"Sure, you can babysit him tomorrow. I'm gonna be busy with my job anyways. It's take your wife to work day." (That was an excuse to get Chi-Chi out of the house. It's stupid, I know.)

* * *

The next day, Goten and Master Roshi were watching t.v.

"Uh, I've got to go to the bathroom Goten." Roshi said. But Roshi was actually going to Goku's bedroom, where he kept the Dragonballs.

"Your turning back to normal, you scumbag." He said to himself. He closed the bathroom door to pretend like he went into the bathroom and snuck inside the bedroom. He slowly opened the closet door, trying not to make a sound. The balls were very high up, so Roshi had to used a stool.

"...Come on..." The tip of his index finger touched the ball. He made a slight jump and grabbed the Dragonball.

"Yes!" Suddenly, he caused the other Dragonballs fall to the floor. Goku's bedroom floor was made of stone, which made the noise incredibly loud.

"What was that darling?" Goten said, sounding like he was walking up to the bedroom. Master Roshi slammed the door and locked it.

"I'm making a wish, get away!" Goten ignored what he said and started banging on the door. Roshi had a heartbeat in his ears, as he gathered the Dragonballs together.

"Shenron! I summon you!" Shenron appeared.

"What...*wheeze* Do you...*cough* Want?" He was not in the best of health.

"Goten-" Just then, Goten teleported into the room.

"He wants me to make all the Dragonballs... _Invalid!" _Goten said.

"Finally!" Shenron said. Suddenly, Roshi and Goten, along with everyone that made wishes were teleported to Kami's tower. There was lightning in the sky. Shenron hovered over everyone with a giant glowing Dragonball above him. Kami himself walked outside.

"Hello everyone. You all might have had a good time making wishes over the years..." He started to cry like an old man. "But the Dragonballs will no longer continue! I'm sorry, but Dragonballs will now be permanently destroyed from the universe!" Kami walked away with his head hanging low.

"GOODBYE EVERYBODY!" The giant Dragonball, symbolizing all the other ones, exploded, along with Shenron. It was cool, but then everyone realized that they couldn't make anymore wishes anymore. Goku was in the crowd, furious at what happened.

"This is an outrage! My company! My life!" Everyone was teleported back to earth. Roshi and Goten were back at home.

"Why did you do that! I'm gonna kill you!" Roshi said, grabbing Goten by the collar.

"Not so fast! I can still make wishes, since I'm not _completely _a Dragonball." Goten said. He summoned his gold covered chocolate covered caramel ice cream balls in a diamond bucket and started eating it on the couch.

"AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!" Master Roshi screamed at the top of his lungs, since he knew Goten would just ignore him again. He ran back to Goku's bedroom and dived Into his bed, screaming in the pillow.


	3. Chapter III: Goku Screws Up

While Master Roshi was screaming his head off, Goten was busy playing a game of chess with Trunks, who could only talk when Goten aloud him to. A membrane growth sticking out of the side of Goten's head formed into Trunks.

"...H-how do I play?... I have no control." He said.

"You don't need to control yourself, I'll make the move for you!" Of course, Goten made Trunks lose.

"That's not fair!"

"Quiet! Do you want me to make you eat yourself again?" Trunks remained quiet and receded back. Suddenly, he heard noises from outside. A mob of people who were outraged by what happened to the Dragonballs surrounded Goku's mansion. Vegeta, who was now 20 ft high and 50 tons, was leading the group of people.

"YOU WILL BE KILLED FROM DYING IN TOTAL ANNIHILATION! BLAARRGH!" He cried out, sounding like a cross between Darth Vader and Randy Savage. It was loud enough for Roshi to hear. He rushed into the living room.

"Where is everyone? Krillin? Where's Krillin?" Krillin was sleeping in one of Goku's vehicles, since he didn't want him sleeping inside his house. Vegeta saw the shiny bald head inside the vehicle and thought it was Goten.

"I FOUND YOU GOTEN! YOU CANNOT HIDE!" He grabbed the vehicle and took Krillin out. He threw the vehicle at the mansion, blowing up about half of Goku's backyard. It also blew up some parts of the mansion where Roshi and Goten were in. Master Roshi was blown away and there was smoke and fire covering the living room, with debris all over the place. Blah blah blah, Saving Private Ryan spoof, blah blah blah, finally Roshi was able to get his hearing back, but he was trapped under a golden beam that came from upstairs.

"What the?... Why does Goku have a beam on the second floor? What's the use of having a beam on the second floor if it's not supporting the first floor!" He saw Goten, who was still casually laying on the couch, eating his gold covered chocolate covered caramel balls.

"Goten... You have to help me, I'm losing oxygen! Wish us out of here and get rid of Vegeta!" Goten stared at Roshi for about five seconds, with an "oh really?" look on his face.

"My body, my choice." He said. Roshi was smiling at first, thinking he would have a change of heart, but then his hopeful smile slowly changed into a disappointing frown.

"Oh come on! I'm your grandfather!"

"No, your just some pervert who trained my father. _Chiao!_"

* * *

Meanwhile, Goku was pacing in his office, squeezing a stress ball.

"Dang it! Who could've made such a wish? Huuuurrrrr duuuuurrrrhhh!" He squeezed the ball too hard, causing the green gooey juices to splatter all over the place.

"No! My orange jacket! THAT'S IT!" Goku turned into a Super Saiyan 3 "If Superman could do it, maybe I can!" He went through his building's window and left the earth's atmosphere.

"I'm gonna go sooooo far into the past, to where I can stop myself from ever becoming the founder of Dragonball inc!" Goku went around the world at super fast speed, causing the earth to spin incredibly fast.

"DUH-DUNUGH! NU-NUH-NUH-NUHNUGH!" Goku sang an angry obnoxious version of the Superman theme, until he stopped. (Seriously, how does he know he went that far in the past.) He then went back into the earth's atmosphere, trying to locate his hometown. He saw a small dot surrounded by the ocean.

"Kami's house! I'll stop by and see if things are back to normal."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Dragonball inc, Goku is no where to be seen and there are is a angry mob surrounding the building.

"Look people, I don't know where my husband is, but-" Suddenly, a dude threw a flaming torch at Chi-Chi, who was on a balcony, twenty stories high. It hit her on the head, causing her to epicly fall off the building and lighting the entire building on fire.

"Aaaghhh! Wait, didn't I wish I could fl-**BAM!**"

* * *

Meanwhile at Goku's mansion, his house was a freaking mess. The entire mansion was buried under the cars he never used. People who wished for telekinesis were sending hateful slurs to Krillin, who they thought was Goten.

"Look Vegeta, I will_..._Wh-wait, what? Oh my gosh! Mama? Please forgive them mama!" Vegeta took a hard look at Krillin.

"UGH! I WISH A HAD GIVEN MYSELF EAGLE EYES, BECAUSE YOU'RE SO SMALL!"

"You have to believe me, I'm Krillin!"

"NO! YOU ARE GOTEN! IS THIS GOTEN EVERYONE?" Vegeta lowered his hand for the mob to see.

"Yes!" The mob said simotaniously.

"YOU BIG-HEADED NUISANCE! TELL US WHERE YOUR FATHER IS OR DIE!" Krillin started farting from the anxiety.

"I-I can't, you see, I um, uh-"

"-DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Krillin was greeted by his mother that day...

* * *

"Hello?" Goku said, knocking on the door. Kami's house looked like it was in bad shape. After knocking three more times, Goku knew something was wrong. He went to the back of the house and saw Turtle, Master Roshi's long-time companion. He was in his shell.

"Turtle! Finally, I thought everyone was on vacation or something!" Goku tapped on the shell, but no response.

"Turtle?" Goku picked him up and started shaking him.

"Come on, wake up!" Suddenly, clumps of what looked like burnt meat fell out of the shell. Then his internal organs fell out.

"Oh my-ugh!" Goku dropped the destroyed Turtle.

"That's it, what on earth is going on!" Goku kicked the door down. What he saw was the half-disintegrated bodies of Yamtcha, Tien, Bulma, and a dead Chiaotzu, who's head was in a pillow case.

"Who... Could've done this?" Goku said to himself, walking throughout the room. He noticed their bedroom door was open.

"They have a bedroom?" Goku said. He entered the room and noticed a calendar above the bed. Goku grabbed the calendar.

"No... I didn't go into the past... I went into the future!"


	4. Chapter IV: Super Me!

"Goku? Is that you!" Goku, who was in the dark bedroom, heard the man's voice.

"Who's there?" He said. He saw something moving under the bug-infested covers. Goku pulled the sheet away, revealing an ugly, hairy, and malnourished Piccolo.

"Piccolo? Is that you?" Piccolo got up, grabbing a crutch made out of one of the legs of the bed and wrapped in newspaper for a better grip.

"Yeah man, it's me-GUH-HUH!" Piccolo said, coughing up his teeth along with a mysterious tar-like substance.

"_Dang, since when did this story get so dark_?" Goku said to himself.

"It started when you turned your son into a Dragonball, foo!" Piccolo said, overhearing Goku. "Where were you Goku? We never thought you could be killed by the mob, since you wished for infinite power. So why did you abandon us?"

"I didn't, I was gonna go into the past to prevent myself from ever creating Dragonball inc, because I was sick of working and I got stress ball liquid on my jacket and my son was creeping me out and there were no more Dragonballs! DA!" Goku smashed his head against the wall.

"Agh! Hey, why did that hurt? I have infinite power and can't be harmed?" He said, rubbing the oversized, cartoonish anime bump on his head.

"Yo man, I pity you." Piccolo said. "You didn't know that Goten wished for everyone to have no power whatsoever so that he could become the supreme ruler of earth. I never liked your company, there was too much freedom!"

"That's the idea, Pick-a-nose, that's why my company became so stinking rich!" Piccolo face palmed and grabbed the doucey billionare by the tie. "That's it Goku, we're going to see what you have done to this world. Come on, we can use Bulma's capsule core vehicle.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the heart of the ruined city, a "huge" shopping mall that was ten times the size of a Wal-mart was established. It was called Super Me. (Me referring to the ego-maniacal Goten.) Goten, earth's supreme mighty emperor overlord of evil, runs the place. It was the only place to shop for everything, so the city's population filled the entire place. Everything was free. People could eat free food and even live there. Well actually, everyone's houses were destroyed and uninhabitable, so they had no choice but to live in the mall. In the center of the mall, Goten was sitting on a tower of boxes of tampons, this time eating gold covered gold, with a nuget gold center. It was made up from the souls of his dead friends and Trunks.

"Mmmm... These tampons are so soft, and this sweet delicacy is so... _Delicous!" _He said with delite.

_"Goten, let me out!" _Trunks and the souls said simotaniously, sounding like the ghost from poltergeist.

"Noooooo, I'm fine." Goten said in a creepy tone. "I love me!" In the mall, a man who was going crazy from being imprisoned in Super Me for too long was planning on killing the owner. He went to the mall's gun store and saw a man behind the counter. It was Master Roshi, who Goten brought back to life and fused half his lower body to the store's floor so he couldn't escape.

"Uhh... So how can I help you?" Master Roshi said, sweating from exhaustion and talking in a sarcastic tone.

"Yes, I would like that shotgun please."

"Okay, that will be zero dollars." Roshi handed him the gun.

"Thanks!" The man said. "_I can't wait to use this thing on Goten, hehe._" Suddenly, the gun pointed towards Master Roshi.

"Woah, easy with that!" Roshi said.

"Wait, I'm not doing this, something's going on!" The man cocked the gun. "Sorry bro..."

"Dahh!" **BOOM!** Master Roshi died from the massive headshot. The next thing he knew, he was in the palm of Goten's hand.

"Tsk tsk, what a shame Master Roshi. It seems your no good working at the gun store. You will now be working at the generic deli in the back, that's not as good as the name brand delis in the front. Bye!"

"No! Just put me to rest, I've done enough for y-" Roshi poofed into thin air.

* * *

Goku and Piccolo were flying over to the mall.

"So Piccolo..."

"Mhmm?"

"Where's my son, Gohan?" Piccolo gave Goku a glance. He saw the pain in his eyes.

"Aight man, I'll say it to you plain and simple. Goten is one soulless creep. I heard it's something that has to do with him only being half human. He destroyed everyone that was his friend or acquaintance, except me, since I was able to hide from him. Last thing I ever heard of Goten is that he takes the souls of them and uses them as a part of his desserts. Over and over!"

Piccolo banged on the steering wheel, making Goku jump.

"Of course, I don't know where Gohan and Vegeta are, I'm assuming they were killed along with everyone else we knew and loved. Sorry Goku."

"Nonsense! I'm sure Goten knows what's going on and I'm sure I can persuade my son to turn everything back to normal."

"Good luck, because he certainly doesn't act like your son anymore."

* * *

Back at Super Me, Goten was playing with an action figure-sized Vegeta, who was turned into rubber. Goten was stretching Vegeta by the arms and moving him around like an airplane.

"Stop it Goten! I will destroy you!" Vegeta said with a throbbing vain on his forehead.

"No, this is fun. Brr! Brr! You're an airplane!" Goten flung Vegeta across the mall like a fly monkey. Goten jumped off his tampon tower and met up with his brother at the women's clothing section.

"So big brother, how are you enjoying your time at my mall?" Gohan was in the middle of choosing which dress to wear. Goten made a wish for his brother to be a transvestite wierdo.

"Ohhhh, everything is sooooooo fabulous! I so totally loooooovve it! Hahahahahahaha!" Goten slapped Gohan across the face.

"I'm talking about your time at the mall, not the mall itself!" Gohan froze in a confuse state.

"Well um, I'm having a great time here, the time is so precious." Goten nodded in approval, but he suddenly got a horrible migraine.

"Agh! I sense... I sense a disturbance." Goten said, teleporting back to his post. He saw across the mall Goku and Piccolo opening the door.

"_Hmm... I guess I didn't kill all of them..._" Goten said to himself.

"He's over there. In the center of the mall." Piccolo said. He pulled out a loaded pistol and hid it under his shirt.

"_Since you made the infinite power wish that no one can ever wish up again, that means Goten can't wish it up too. Which means he's not as invincible as everyone thinks he is. If your plan fails and he makes a move, I'll have no choice but to take him down._" Piccolo said, whispering in Goku's ear while the two walked towards Goten.

"Chill dude, that's my son." Goku said. Soon enough, the two reached the tower of tampons.

"Welcome to Super Me!" Goten said. "How may I help you?"

"Stop it son, you need to listen to me, you're too young to open a business."

"Well, I think all walks of life should open a business. I'm just trying to be as successful as you."

"But in the process of killing your friends? You're not the son I knew. And where's Gohan and Vegeta?" Goku walked closer to his son, but stepped in something.

"What the..." Goku picked up the squishy mess he stepped in.

"V... Vegeta? Is that you?" Vegeta had a dirty old bandaide and chewed up Juicyfruit gum on him.

"Yes, it is me Kakarot! Now control your son!"

"Goten, why are you doing this?"

"Do not call me Goten anymore, I am a new being now!" Goten jumped off his tower and walked up to his father.

"You will now call me... Jazzanel"

"Jazzanel?" Goku threw up in his mouth a little. "What have you become? You're not the same anymore. And where's Gohan?" Goten snapped his fingers, summoning his brother.

"Gohan?" Goku and Piccolo said.

"Heeyy daddy! How are you doing, this mall is sooooooo fabulously awesome!" Gohan said, carrying three sequent dresses in his hand.

"Don't you like him father? I made him just for me!" By now, Piccolo was furious at what Goten was doing to his friends. But he remained quiet, trying to keep composure.

"How could you do this Go... I mean Jazzanel. You need to stop this, the Dragonball's corrupting your mind!" Goten paused for a moment, deciding wether to continue his evil business or not. Goku, Piccolo, and Vegeta, who was in Goku's hand, were all grunting and sweating, as the suspense was killing them.

"...Hmmm... Maybe... Or maybe not!" Goten said with a smirk on his face.

"That's it!" Piccolo said, pulling out his pistol and aiming it at the Dragonball kid.

"No Piccolo!" Goku said. He threw Vegeta in Piccolo's directing, causing the bullet to collide into him.

"Nooooo Kaaaakkaaaarrrrroooott!" Vegeta said in mid-air slow-motion. Vegeta was killed on impact.

"Why did you do that Goku? That was my only bullet!" Piccolo said, grabbing Goku by the tie again.

"That's not fair Piccolo, me and my son need to settle this fair and square." Piccolo nodded with approval. Goku turned around to Goten, who had his arms crossed and eyes squinted.

"Okay Jazzanel, how about we make a deal. If you win, you can keep your business and continue your path of evil. But if I win, You'll have to make a wish for everything to turn back to normal, just how it was after I defeated Buu. Deal?" Goku put his hand out.

"...That sounds fair. Alright, we have a deal." Goten put his hand out too, and they both shook hands.

"So, what's the task?" Goten said. Goku gave him a devious grin.


	5. Chapter V: A Ruff Ending

"Alright then..." Goku said. "First, there are some rules to follow."

"That's fine by me, I am quite the gentlemen." Goten said with a smirk.

"First, you cannot use any wishes to win the game. Second, You cannot call for help or summon anyone, this is between you and me. And third..." Goku clutched his fist and clocked his Dragonball son in the face, causing him to fly into a cabbage patch.

"THERE ARE NO RULES!" Goku said.

"Aw no he didn't." Piccolo said.

"Oh yes he did." Gohan said.

"Shut up! We fight too!" Piccolo grabbed Gohan and struck him down with his crutch.

"Ah! Leave me alone, you man!" Gohan said, covering himself with his dress like a shield.

Goku grabbed a shopping cart and raced over to Goten to continue the fight.

"This is much more fun than flying." He said, riding on the edge of the cart. "Ha! Look what I can do!" Goku jumped off, as the shopping cart crashed into Goten, still buried under cabbage patch. Goku walked over to the Dragonball kid and grabbed him by the head.

"And the challenge?... We fight!" Goku put him in a headlock.

"Not if I wish for y-_mmmm!_" Goku covered his mouth before he could make a wish, and shoved Zucchini down his throat.

"Now then, it's a good thing I made a wish for anyone to use wishes from you." Goku grabbed Goten by the head.

"_Jazzanel_?" He said sarcastically. "I wish I was 1 month before I ever made Dragonball inc, so I can turn everything back to normal!" He said with a derp face. He took the Zucchini out of his mouth.

"..._Hehehe... What a fool..._" Goten said. "Ohh, okay Goku, whateeevvveeerrr you say!" He wasn't a very good actor, but Goku was convinced. Goten wished his father out of the future. Meanwhile. Piccolo was grounding and pounding Gohan. Goten walked over to the scene and pulled out his diamond bucket of delicious soul ice cream.

"Piccolo, that is enough!" Goten sucked the black namekian in his dessert.

"Nooooooo! Ohhhh wwhhyyy the haaaattteee!" Piccolo said.

"Yes! Finally, now that Goku's gone and Piccolo's mine, there's just one more thing to do." Goten summoned a copy of him.

"Hello me!" Goten said.

"Oh, hello Jazzanel!" The other Goten said.

"While I'm busy with the mall, you're going to have to go back to the past and stop Goku from changing the future. And remember, there are two Gokus in the past. One from the future and one from the past. The one from the future is wearing a suit, so make sure to kill the one that's not wearing a suit, so the future one won't exist. Do you understand?" Goten's clone nodded. "Good! Now, you're gonna need something to defeat the old Goku, since he's much more powerful than the future one." Goten melted his diamond bucket full of gold ice cream and souls into a super powerful diamond-golden sword.

"Ah, yes, I can't wait to use it on him!" Goten's clone said, licking his lips.

"Now then, to the past you go!" The anthropomorphic metro Dragonball kid snapped his fingers, as his clone and diamond gold sword were teleported to the past to destroy Goku. How is that for awesome?

* * *

Meanwhile in the past, Goku was discussing his plans to build a Dragonball empire at Kami's house. He was drinking a cup of coffee while having his legs crossed.

"Yes, so it's gonna be really big, I hope." Goku said. Master Roshi and the rest of the gang were listening. Piccolo, arms crossed, didn't like the idea at all.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Piccolo said. "who knows what crazy antics could ensue." Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get that." Goku said. He opened the door, revealing the future Goku.

"Wh-what the-" Goku Grabbed his past self by the collar and took him outside.

"Shh! Listen, I can explain why there's two of us. Just teleport us to our house." The past Goku nodded and used his teleporting ability to bring them to their house.

* * *

**22 Minutes Later...**

"So anyways," The future Goku said, ending his long story. "I went back to the past so I can convince you to never create your business, so our son wouldn't become supreme ruler of the world. Oh yeah, and _NEVER _turn your son into a Dragonball! I learned that the hard way." The other Goku understood the consequences and tore up his blue-prints for the company. They shook hands and the future Goku made his way to the door.

"_Hehe... It's over..._" Goku said to himself. Suddenly, the past Goku replied.

"Wait! Can I atleast turn my son into a Dragonball? You inspired me!"

"Wh-what? No! I just told you not to do that!"

"I'll be careful this time, trust me!"

"No you d-" Suddenly, Goku's intentions of turning his son into a Dragonball backfired... Again. Jazzanel appeared and blew their house away.

"See what you did?" The future Goku said. "It will always end this way, always! Take back what you just said, now!" The past Goku hesitated for such a long time, giving Jazzanel the opportunity to grabbed the Future Goku and obliterate him with his sword.

"I'm sorry, but you had to "Go." Get it, like "Go"ku? Ha!" Jazzanel flew towards the original Goku and was ready to destroy him.

"I don't understand?" Goku said. "I changed my mind, I don't want my son as a Dragonball. Why are you still here?" Jazzanel lowered his sword and explained.

"Don't you see? All I have to do is turn your son into a Dragonball so I can exist. Then, in the future, he will rule his mall and "me" will live happily ever after! Oh, how delicious it will be!" His plan sounded almost unstoppable. But Goku had an idea.

"Okay, okay, I guess you win. Let me get him for you." Goku teleported to Vegeta's house, since he knew Goten and Trunks were playing there. Goku appeared and grabbed Goten.

"Dad, what are you doing?" He said.

"Can I talk to you for a second." Goku discussed the matter to his son and the two went back to their destroyed home.

"Ugh! I was so ugly before my transformation." Jazzanel said.

"Here ya go Jazzanel, it's... You." Goku said, pushing Goten closer to him. With his Chris Colfer smile, the devious Jazzanel took him under his wing.

"Now Goten, what do you say to the man?" Goku said. Jazzanel was confused. Goten jumped on top of him and grabbed his head, ready to make a wish.

"Nooo, this is not supposed to happen!" Jazzanel said, crushed under his past self.

"I wish... That you were our pet dog!" Goten said. ***Poof* **

"Ruff! Ruff!" Jazzanel barked.

"Of course Goten, we should've always had a dog in our show!" Goku and Goten hi-fived eachother.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Goten's alternate future, everything started to fade away.

"What? No! I was supposed to striiiiiiivvvveeeeee..." The evil Dragonball kid was erased from history. Everything was back to normal.

"Thank you Goku... You saved us all..." Master Roshi said. "Anyone want a BLT? Oh wait, this future's being erased. Well, I'll just wait..." Master Roshi ate that BLT. It tasted great. Not the deli food, but the redemption of their world.


	6. Epilogue

It has been 2 months after the events that unfolded. After having their house destroyed, Goku and his family decided to buy an even nicer house. Even though their mansion was like even more awesome than it, it was still pretty good. Jazzanel, their pet dog and former enemy, and, you know, their son technically, lived unhappily ever after with them. Goku was much different too, he saw how much of a douce his future self became, and knew that the life of a billionaire was not for him. He continued to train and act like himself again. Oh yeah, and Krillin was still their maid, that's how he made a living.

Unlike the Master Roshi in the previous timeline, this Roshi had all his money and was having the time of his life. He was later hospitalized after being bit by his Turtle, but was insured by Vegeta and his new insurance company, Vegealth insurance Co.

Tien, Chiaotzu, Yamtcha, and Piccolo are still useless.

**THE END.**


End file.

Dragon Ball Z, Parody