Legend of Zelda 1. Chapter 1

LEGEND OF ZELDA IS A MARCHING BAND?! WTH?!

_Thalia-tan77: So The way I came up with this cra-cra story was Once upon a time I am a freak and I get all of my awesome-tastic ideas while I'm in the shower (freaky right? Just bear with me) So as an oncoming freshman and a hard-core Legend of Zelda fan this weird thought flowed through my head while I'm in the shower, "What if . . . Link went to a high school?" Then I was all like "Well he'd obviously be in band. And he would play trumpet? Nonono he's to un-snobby/ egotistical to do that . . . I KNOW! HE'D TOTES DEF PLAY FRECH HORN! HOOLLAHH!" I also said all of this out loud so everyone in my house probably thinks I'm a psycho (Not like they didn't before but you know what?! Whatever!) so yea . . . . . . . . . . …. If you think the trumpet players thought/actions are freakishly on-target it's because I'm a trumpet player (I'm NOT a stereotype though just F.Y.I) Have fun!_

_Rirry-chan88: I feel bad that my sister has now posted more stories on my site than I have, and as matter of fact, everyone did already think she was a psycho._

August 1ST

Link, the poor dear, didn't even know why he was were he was. All he knew was that he was about to be subjected to a form of torture that went against the very laws of nature. Yet there he was in land-locked middle-of-nowhere Johnstowne, Texas, in the middle of summer, on a concrete parking lot with a melephone for early morning marching band practice.

When he had left his happy middle school nest he had had beautiful visions of grandeur for the future marching season. Sadly those dreams had been crushed. Brutally. Into the ground by what is known as freshman marching camp. After an entire month of learning to march, marching drills and marching some more Link was ready for marching season to be over, but it hadn't even begun. His muscles still remembered the terrible muscle pain and heat that was not supposed to be endured by weak pitiful human beings.

Yet there he was again a month later at the one place he did NOT want to be.

He shuffled awkwardly on the side lines holding his mellophone protectively against his chest like someone would have the audacity to steal it. He flipped some of his blonde hair out of his bright blue eyes and scanned the field looking for a vaguely familiar life form that wasn't an upper-class men. Because Fish didn't hang out with upper-class men. It just didn't happen. It would be like a Clown Fish hanging out with a barracuda. It just didn't happen.

Then Link saw it, the flash of golden hair that he had been looking for. He started to walk over to her but stopped and stayed on the sidelines. Obviously Zelda was hanging out with all the people in her section, including the upper-class men. That's how it had always been; she was just a people person.

Unbeknownst to Link two dark figures had been watching him from the shadows for the past few minuets and were now slowly advancing towards him.

"Korra I swear if you do anything weird . . ."

"Don't worry Catrina its not like I'm gonna go rape him or something weird like that!"

"But the problem is . . . YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT!"

The two now bickering figures continued to advance on our oblivious hero. One of the figure (Catrina) stopped suddenly and grabbed Korra's arm.

"Okay, I'm trusting you. Just remember, we're in the same grade so don't scare him so badly I can't make friends alright?"

Korra rolled her eyes and mumbled something to the effect of, "Yea, yea, sure, whatever, no raping iz gotz this." Then dashed off leaving her companion in the dust.

Link felt a light tap on his shoulder and turned around. Standing behind him was a short, curly-haired girl nonchalantly holding a melephone.

"Hooray!" thought Link, "Another melephone freshman. She doesn't look that scary either. Well her hair is like, REALLY curly but don't judge a book by its cover right?

"HI-YA!" said the 'freshman' (Korra), "I just saw a new melephone fish and wanted to introduce myself! My name is Korra and I'm a senior this year! Also," she looked around and leaned in uncomfortably close whispering into Link's ear, "The stuff on the walls in the practice rooms? It's not really glue. But for safety reasons just pretend it is . . ." she hopped back a bit and said "WELP! See ya' around."

And skipped away towards another girl with a trumpet and dramatically fell into her arms.

The trumpet player patted Korra's bush-afro head while Korra whispered something to her. Her eyes grew wide and she threw Korra on the ground then dashed over to Link skidding to a stop in front of him grabbing and shaking his hand profusely,

"OMEGERD! I'm am soooooooo sorry" she rambled on, "That's my older sister and she's well different . . ." Link looked up and gave the girl a weird look, she was a good two maybe three inches taller then her (Link is only 5'3).

"You sure you're not the older one?"

She looked down and giggled a little, "No, I'm the younger one. Don't worry 'bout it though everyone make the same mistake" she let go of his hand and smiled, "My name's Catrina by the was and I'm a fish this year too. I hope we can get along well this year." She gave an awkward, apologetic bow and dashed back to her sister who was rolling on the concrete laughing.

"Well," Link though, "I think I could definitely handle . . . what was her name Carina? No . . . Catrina, that's it! But definitely not her older sister. She's waaay to weird for me, but she is a senior so I'd better stay on he good side . . ."

Well, well, well!" said Zelda, who had snuck up behind him while he was daydreaming, "It looks like you made some new friends already Link! I'm so proud of you." Link turned around again this time looking at Zelda, "Well . . . I guess. The girl with curly hair, her name's Korra, she's really weird. Did you know she's a senior?"

Zelda nodded, "Yup, I already talked to her. Her sister is pretty cute though; I was talking to her earlier, just introducing myself and stuff. She was super-duper polite and shy, it was funny. So after a few minuets this really tall girl, she looks a lot like Impa, walks up and she practically exploded." She giggled, "It was pretty entertaining, I think you to will get along great!"

One of the drum leaders got up onto the stand and told everyone was starting and to group together by section.

So with a heavy heart, Link began his first early morning marching practice. Sadly it wouldn't be his last.

Link groaned inwardly after five hours of drills, drills and surprise, surprise(!) even more drills Link was ready to go home. He scanned the pick-up line for his ride and found it almost immediately. They only had two cars and his dad used the other one to get to work leaving what the rest of the family lovingly called "The Tank" for the rest of them.

The Tank was a ginourmus, black stalker van with tinted windows. The only reason no one every thought that Link was a drug dealer or getting kidnapped all the time was the big logo on the side that said HYRULE TECH. CO.- H.T.C.

Hyrule Technology Company was one of the leading technology companies in the world, like if Apple, PC, Nintendo, Xbox, and PlayStation go together and made one big company you'd get the Hyrule Technology Company, however due to time-space continuum rips in out ever expanding/contracting universe those companies do not exist in this world, so H.T.C was the _best_ technology on the face of the Earth. Zelda's father founded and was in charge of the company. Link's dad was a six time world champion at mix-martial arts, along with being a childhood friend of Zelda's dad, Mr. Foxx made Link's dad the head of security and his own personal bodyguard.

That's were they got the van.

Link threw open the trunk doors and was greeted by his mother's, the quintuplet's, Cole, Matthew, Jack and David, and his little sister, Aryll's, smiling faces, "Hay Link!"

Link smiled in return, "Hey guys. Mom where's a free seat?"

"There's one in the middle next to David. So, how did practice go honey?"

"Meh," Link shrugged his shoulders, "I guess it could have been worse." He slid into the seat next to his younger brother and shut the van door behind him, "By the way, Chain, were was pitt throughout the entire practice? I never saw you once"

Chain, Link's fraternal twin looked back from the passengers seat flipping his long, shaggy, black hair out of his gray eyes and smirked, "We were over I the shade the entire time, because, unlike you guys we are more important so we get better treatment."

Link scoffed and rolled his eyes and said, "No you guys are in the shade because you are all pansies. You should be ashamed of yourself! The flutes work harder than you and they're a troop of girly-girls."

Chain was about to make a smart come-back when Cole, one of the quintuplets, blurted out, "Look it's Zelda!" he looked up at Link with his huge, blue eyes and said, "I love her, and I think I am going to marry her because she is the most prettiest, beutifulest girls I've ever seen."

Link nodded, "Yea she's really pretty . . ." then he noticed the look his mom gavee him in the rearview mirror and cursed his fried brain for letting that slip, "Well- er . . . UM . . . *Cough*- what I meant was-" his mothers eyebrow continued to rise with her son's reddening face and Link realized that he was only digging himself deeper and deeper into the pit of embarrassment. He quickly changed the subject, "SO MOM! What's for diner?"

_A.N: HAHAHAHA awww poor Link is such a goob :) but we all still love him right? Anyways his siblings are as follows._

_Chain is his twin brother and is based off of shadow Link. The quintuplets are from _Four Swords, _Green=Matthew Red=Cole Blue=Jack Vio=David. Then Aryll is his little sister from _Wind Wakers_. His parents are just his mother and father. Their last name is Quinn (Link-Quinn, Lincoln, get it?! Punny right?) so yea the story line is gonna jump around like it does in _100 Days of Ace Being a Butt-Wipe _which is one of my favorite_ OnePeice _fanfics evah (except of course Rirry-chan's c:)_

_Rirry-chan88: Might I just add that it was I who got her to read 100 Days of Ace Being A Buttwipe? By the way, Marching band really isn't as horrifyingly painful as my darling sister makes it out to be. _


	2. Chapter 2

LEGEND OF ZELDA IS A MARCHING BAND!? WTH?!

_A.N: WAHHHHH! Hi this is Thallia-tan77 reporting from her sad reclusive corner of DEATH! I lost my journal were I wrote all of my L.o.Z stuffs and so I'm VERY sad. That is also why I have not posted a chappy in a freaking millennium. So this chapter is actually kind of true. Since I can't find my journal I'm going to tell you about a dream that I once had (It will be from Links POV so yea) and instead of Link saving me it will be "Jason" the Link of the .M.B world. All the dreamness really happened to me BTW so watch out!_

DECEMBER 7TH

Link walked into the band hall and sat down with a heavy sigh then curled up into a ball and just sat there looking very pitiful. Zelda took quick notice,

"Hay Link. What's wrong, you not feeling good?"

He exploded outwards spastically and whined, "I'm fine it's just . . . I had this weird dream last night and it's really bugging meee."

Zelda nodded understandingly, "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Link nodded and stared up at the ceiling,

"I was in the band hall playing French horn and getting ready for class." He started, "Then I felt this weird stabbing pain in my back. I turned around and I saw Giriham running away and hiding behind the marimbas. So I got up and walked over to Mr. Flat's office and I was all like 'Mr. Flat, I just got stabbed in the back!' He looked over at me and gave me a weird look when I asked if I could go to the nurse. 'Link' he said all sympathetically, 'I'm sorry your friends betrayed you but that's no reason to go to the nurse' then I was all like, 'No I was seriously stabbed in the back look!' then I pulled the knife out of my back. Mr. Flat screamed really loud then called 911 then I passed out."

Zelda looked at him, "That's it? Why does that bug you?"

Link shook his head, "No it only got weirder. This is the part that bugs me . . .

When I woke up I was tied to a ceiling cavern hanging upside-down. I tried looking around but I couldn't move then suddenly out of nowhere this monster pops up and yelled 'IMMA GONNA EAT CHA' like obnoxiously loudly. Anyways it scared the crap out of me and I jumped really bad (Or as badly as you can jump when your tied upside-down) So the monster is dancing around me like a lunatic when suddenly a door bangs open and Jason busts through and he says, "Fear not fair maiden I will save you!" then he kills the monster and starts to leave. I called after him and I was all like, "Hay man!? Can't you help me get down!?" he turned around and said, "Sure fair maiden why not?" then he threw the sword and cut the ropes. I start falling but I'm cool with it 'cause Jason will catch me right? Apparently not. I hit the ground super hard and look up as Jason starts to leave again. "HAY" I yelled after him, "Are you just going to leave me here?" so he turns around and he's all like "Of course I can't help you! But I can cut your ropes!" "OH YEEEAAAA That's a great help." Apparently he couldn't tell I was being sarcastic and so he got really happy ran over, cut the ropes was all like, 'kthxbye!' and LEFT! So I spent the rest of my dream running away from psychotic cheerleaders with candy canes and I had to get married to Groose and everyone kept calling me a fair maiden which I don't get!" He grabbed Zelda by the shoulders. "Is my sub-conscious trying to tell me something!? I'M NOT A GIRL! I DON'T EVEN HAVE MAN-BOOBS!"

Then Link curled back up into his sad ball of death and moped. Zelda tried really hard not to laugh, "Well um . . . maybe you just had a weird dream. I doesn't have to mean anything."

"What doesn't have to mean anything?" asked Impa.

Zelda explained the situation to the tall oboe player who just sighed, "Link. Stand up"  
He did as he was told, "Yesh?"

Then Impa nipple twisted him and he fell back onto the floor writhing in pain "AW JESUS IMPA THAT HURTS DAMNIT!"

"Don't be such a goob! I had a dream once were I was on the football team and you don't see me freakin out over it."

"But- but I had to marry Groose . . . "  
"So? Are you gay?" Link shook his head violently almost causing himself whiplash.

"Then there's nothing to worry about." Impa said as she helped him up off the floor. "Now go get to class your gonna be late."

And that was how Impa's Therapy Center became open for business.

THE END

_A.N: Yea . . . I actually had that dream except I got married to friend Jimmy and that I just as disturbing. I SHALL CONTINUE MY HUNT FOR THE LOST JOURNAL! Till next time my lovelies :)_

_Rirry-chan: Should I be concerned my baby sister has dreams like this? I do too, but that's not the point. I'm the negative dark one in the family, so its okay. She's supposed to have funky, happy dreams. Oh, and the hole nipple twisting thing? She does that to our guy friends all the time. When she does, they always immediately forget what the were about to/saying. I think all this nonsense (Dream and Nipple Twisting) is from her spending far too much time with Jimmy. He nipple twists this poor kid one grade below us so often and so hard that whenever the kid sees Jimmy he goes into a defensive position and screams. My buddy Rian has begun to call this the Brady (After the poor victim)._


	3. Chapter 3

_A.N: SOOOOOOO yea I have been lacking in this story so this chapter is long-ish to make up for the pitiful excuse of a chapter I posted last time. :)_

_Also everyone knows what a mellophone is right? It's what French horn players use during marching season_

NOV. 15

Link stumbled out of his car into the cold-as-Jack-Frost's-balls air. He coughed and opened the trunk. His mom turned around and stared at him with a concerned look on her face for the umpteenth time that morning, "You sure you don't want me to take you home sweetie?"

Link grabbed his mellophone case and swung his backpack over his shoulder he cleared his throat,

"Mom its fine. I'm okay-"  
"Running a fever of 99.8 is not 'okay' and you sound like a frog!"  
"Mom" he croaked, "It's alright, just go home and take care of the quads and Aryll. You don't need to take care of me on top of all five of them."

Mrs. Quinn sighed; she wasn't going to win this one, "Fine. But if you start to feel bad just text me or call me and I'll come pick you up."

Link nodded and walked over to the other side of the parking lot where everyone else was huddling and trying to keep warm. Link had no problem keeping warm, his fever took care of the chill, but he still shivered even though he was actually quite warm. He set his mellophone case on the curb, got out his mellophone then set out in search of his friends. He got to the middle of the parking lot and stopped. What had he been looking for? Oh yea, finding friends.

Zelda looked around the parking lot and saw Link wandering around aimlessly in a circle. She kinda-sorta jogged over towards him and flung her arm around him,

"Hay Link! You're late, I thou-"  
She stopped short when Link suddenly rested his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her neck. He felt really warm and it was . . . nice, in a way. But Link avoided touching her as little as possible, she never really understood why but she was sure it wasn't because he didn't like her . . . maybe. No, he couldn't like her like like-like her. She would have figured that out by now . . . right?  
("NO" shouts a far off voice (a.k.a the author), "you wouldn't have because this fanfic will also partially be a cheesy shojo manga thingy where everyone knows you and Link like each other EXCEPT YOU!")

"Uh-um Link are you okay?" She stuttered

He pulled out of his embrace and rubbed his eye, "Nothing . . . Just tired."

He coughed and shivered a bit, and Zelda backed up slightly shocked,  
"LINK! You sound like a frog that got ran over!"  
Link waved his hand nonchalantly, "It's nothing. I probably just slept weird last night. I betcha' I'll be fine by lunch."

Zelda began to protest but was cut off by the loud speaker being turned on,

"COME YOU IGNORANT SLUGS!" The short, curly haired, drum major bellowed, "IT'S TIME TO SET UP THE BLOCK FOR STREACHES!"

They waved goodbye to each other and hustled off to their spots. Zelda was still pretty positive that Link had been sick and maybe it was just her but Link had looked extremely pale.

Link staggered into the locker room from marching practice. He felt a butt-load worse and now he had a headache. He checked his phone and laid down on the spit-encrusted floor. He had about an hour before class started so he would just sleep until then.

"Chain . . . what are you doing?"  
"Oh nothing."

"What you classify as nothing seems really weird."

Chain looked up at the short, Japanese, percussionist, transfer-student and sighed,

"Link hasn't been feeling good lately so I'm just being a kind brother and making him look pretty."

"And that's going to make him feel better?"

Chain winked and gave her a thumbs-up, "Exactly."

"Actually I'm 100% positive that he's going to be really mad that you braided all his hair."

"Well actually he's too sick to care right now so yea. Don't worry about it Fi." Chain patted the ground next to him, "Come and help me."

Fi thought about this invitation for a moment then said, "Wait I think I have some clips in my bag that you can use."

Then she dashed off cause hey, who knows when she'd get another chance like this?

Link rolled over and opened his eyes

"HAY! AHG- come oooonnn LiiiiIIIInnnk! I was almost done!"

Link looked up into the mopey eyes of Chain, "What were you almost done with?"

Impa popped out of nowhere, "Your hair. And I must say it is looking fabulous."

Fi nodded and Link suddenly had horrible flash backs to the last time Chain had done his hair. His hand flew up to his head and he breathed a sigh of relief. They had just braided his hair. Wait . . . that wasn't any better. He grumbled and started to yank on one of the braids. They had also put in pony-beads, which made it even more difficult to take them out.

"NO YOU CAN"T BROTHER!"

Chain wailed as he lunged at him. Link sighed and put his hand down to stair at his brother. He was near tears and looking very pitiful.

Suddenly Ghirahim busted into the room, "Hay guys it's time to- PFT! LINK WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR HAIR!"

Chain stood up, "I did it! And I'll do that luscious white hair of yours if you really want me to. Fi taught me how to braid beads into people's hair, and in case you haven't noticed we put in beads that coordinate with Link's outfit. So he is looking highly fashionable."

Ghirahim scoffed, "Like I'd let you do my hair! That's for girls and I'm much too manly to do that."

Chain looked slightly hurt, "That's not nice. I'm not a girl."  
"Actually I think Link would be more insulted by that statement." Impa said glancing over at Link who was looking out into space with a glazed look on his face. Impa waved her hand in front of his eyes, which caused no reaction.

"Uh- Chain I think Link is dead."  
"Pish-posh my dear Impa. He's just dazed and confuzled due to the fever." He giggled like a giddy schoolgirl, "Watch this."

He leaned over and whispered something into Link's ear. Link shot up-right and blushed profusely, then punched Chain in the face.  
"No. Just no." Link said.

"You sure?" Chain countered.  
"I'm going to class." Link said as he stood up, grabbed his stuff and walked out of the band hall. He was doing great until he listed slightly to the side and slammed his head against the doorframe, which triggered a collective 'ouch' from the rest of the group. Then they grabbed their things and followed him out.

By the time lunch rolled around Link felt like dying. He somehow made it to the band hall where he promptly passed out in front of the group. Chain was the first to react by kicking him in the side multiple times. When Link did not respond to this violent act of abuse they decided to tell Mr. Flat, their band director what had happened. They voted Chain as their representative and sent him on his way.  
"Mr. Flat! Link passed out!"

"Hmm sure Chain. Just leave him alone I'm sure he'll wake up in a bit."

Chain trudged back to the group,

"He didn't believe meeee."  
"Well I guess it was kind of stupid to send you." Impa said.

"OKAY TIME FOR PLAN B!" Chain exclaimed, seeming way too excited about the whole ordeal, "Calling mother dearest will surely work." He reached into his pockets and came up empty, "Dag freaking flabit! I forgot my phone at home . . . I'll just use Links."

He ripped off Links hoodie (and half of his shirt) and rummaged around in the front pockets emerging victorious with his brother's cellular device. He threw the phone at Zelda,

"Call mother."  
"Why me?"

"Because if I call her she'll think I did something to him."

She turned on his phone and sighed, "It's locked."  
Chain taped his chin with his finger, "Is it a letter or number password?"  
"Uh-letter."  
"Oh? Then you should know what it is." Chain said slyly.

Faster than a greased pig struck by lightning Impa snatched the phone out of Zelda's hand and punched a five letter code then called Mrs. Quinn.

"Hello Mrs. Quinn? It's Impa. Link passed out so we need you to come pick him up."  
Impa held the phone about five feet away from her ear and they could all hear Mrs. Quinn's voice blast through the phone,

"HE DID WHAT?! WHERE IS CHAIN?"  
Impa quickly tossed the phone to Chain and he put the phone up to his ear,

"Umm- Hi mommy."

They couldn't hear Mrs. Quinn's voice anymore but they could tell by Chain's expression that he was in trouble. Five minutes later he hung up the phone.

"Mom's coming."

Zelda gently took his hand, "Are you in trouble?"

"Psh no. Mom's just upset that he pushed himself so hard. She went on her own personal guilt trip and it wasn't pretty."  
So they gathered Link's things together and waited. A few minutes later one of the office aids walked into the band hall and, noticing the group, walked over,

"Is one of you guys Link Quinn?" they asked.

Chain pointed to the limp body on the ground, "That's him right there but he passed out so just give it to me please. I'm his brother Chain Quinn"  
The office aid did a double take and stared at the body on the ground while handing Chain the note. Then dashed out.

"Yay! Mommy's here!" Chain said as he turned to the group, "Now lets get this fatty to the car."

Chain grabbed Link's arm and only succeeded in moving him about an inch so Impa grabbed the poor child and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"C'mon lets head over to the office."  
So they walked out of the band hall and made their way to the front office. When they got there Mrs. Quinn was sitting in one of the chairs where she jumped up and ran over to them.

"Oh, the poor baby really did pass out huh? I'll take him to the car."  
They transferred Link to Mrs. Quinn and as she walked out of the office she turned and looked at the group.

"Thanks so much for bringing him here. You are all welcome to come over after school to check on him if you want."

Then she walked out of the office and that was the last they saw of Link for the rest of the day.

_A.N: YAAY! I think that was MUCH better then the last chapter! I gave up on searching for my lost journal and so I'm writing in the same on I do my FMA fanfic in. Soooooooo we got to see a lot more of Chain this time around. Did you like it? I hope so. He is my favorite character ;) So two thing related to LoZ I found this amazing fanfic called Sundial of Shadows (It's on youtube) and even though it's only two episodes long and the last episode was updated two years ago I'm still hopeful! AND ANOTHER THING, so Link and Midna right? That is a ship I would go down with (everyone knows about shipping right?) Well I ship Midna and Link HARD! So I finished Twilight Princess for like the third time today and at the end here is what happens:  
Midna: Link, I . . . See you around._

_Then she breaks the mirror of twilight. And you know what here is what she was going to say to Link? "I love you."  
BUT SHE DIDN'T! UG! _

_So now I'm finishing Skyward Sword which is butt hard because I'm doing Hero's Mode and I keep dying and I can't get the water for the dagum water dragon because the skeletons keep killing me :_

_So yea . . . I'll try and post a chapter soon! Love you guys! _

_Rirry-Chan: Ug! I tell my sister time and again, but does she listen to me? NO! And that is why I wanna cry every time she tries to spell minute. Because she spells it as minuet, which is sooooo wrong. I am no longer going to bother trying to correct her chapters. Its too much work. Spell check even agrees with me. BY the way, I hold no pity for Link because you know what? Every one has had a worse temperature. He should just man up. _


End file.

Legend of Zelda, Humor