Miracles never come

_Hey! So this is my first X-men story. It´s about a certain scene at the beginning of the third movie with an other ending. The beginning just came to __my mind and I wanted to continue it so here it is. _

_Many thanks to my beta _VladdieChica.

Disclaimer: It´s not mine, I am just lending it for a while.

Miracles Never Come

The hardest part was, that he went on without thinking.

Maybe it was because he still had hope. A low flame deep inside of him, being more a stupid idea and not a great sense of what could come.

He lived a lie. He knew, everybody around him knew, that he was a zombie. It was like his body was on, but his mind was off.

His heart still beat, his lungs still breathed and the lasers still burned out of his eyes, but all he really knew was the incredible pain every moment without _her _caused.

And the hardest part was knowing he did the wrong thing; that he _knew_ that he did the wrong thing.

He knew the others needed him, he knew there was no time to be sad because Magneto would not hold on for a moment like he did and a war was coming. And all in all he was still the leader of the X-men and he still had work to do.

Logan told him, too. He remembered him; asked him where he had been during the Danger Room Session and that _he, _Logan, had to take place for him.

„I didn´t ask you to."

„No, you didn´t, but the professor did. I was just passing through."

Scott couldn't accept that he was wrong and Wolverine was right. It was like a punch in his face. But no, it wasn´t. Because if he would have punched him in his face, he would have fight Logan covered in adamantium.

But instead of starting a fight in the middle of a school; instead of giving in the tingling in his right hand which told him to punch the wolverine in the face, instead of listening to the soft voice in his head that told him that this was what he wanted to do since Logan first spoke to him, he shrugged.

„Then pass through, Logan."

He turned around to walk out of the mansion. He couldn't take it any longer in these stuffy rooms, but something grabbed his arm and held him back.

„Hey-look, I know how you feel."

There was no way Logan could ever know how he felt. How should be a man, who didn't need anyone, ever. A man showed this every time he could, could know how he felt now. He had lost Jean, the reason for his existence.

Did Logan still hear her voice ín his head, keeping him awake all night and bringing him to the edge? Logan didn't understand, but- and Scott had to admit- this guy cared enough to hold him back from leaving the mension, his home for years. Perhaps he really tried to understand, but it wasn´t possible, and trying to explain would only make dig himself into a deeper hole.

„Don´t."

Why did Logan do that? He could see it in his eyes that he felt uncomfortable too.

„Look, when Jeanie died..." _Don´t call her Jeanie_, he wanted to scream, but the lump in his throat was to big and he hoped he could run away in time, before he broke down in the hall.

„I said don´t."

He managed to get free and walk away, but at the end of the hall, he turned around once again.

„Not everybody heals as fast as you, Logan."

Perhaps it was not fair, but who cared, this guy was only Logan, and he was sure he wouldn't understand.

So he took his motorcycle and got away.

Alkali-Lake was calm.

He was not sure, if it was what he expected. The wood was flooded, the damn still broken, but it was calm, no water flushing, no sign of what had happened.

Suddenly, Scott felt anger grow deep inside of him, why did this happen? They had wanted to get married, he had loved,-he still loved-her, more then anything in the world. He couldn't hold on a second longer. His eyes burned and he took his glasses off, sending a beam at the middle of the lake. The water bubbled, then calmed down again, as if nothing had happend.

Finally, he collapsed to the ground, took his glasses on again and sobbed. Perhaps, if he would just sit here long enough, he would grow into stone, because stone was cold and hard and didn't feel.

After some time, the motor of a car could be heard, but Scott did not even flinch. He did not move when a door cracked open and steps came close to him, even not when the shadow of Wolverine stopped next to him.

Logan did not say a word. He only sat down next to the X-men´s leader and watched the lake.

Then, after what seemed like forever, he spoke.

„It´s calm here."

That was definitely not the statement Scott expected. But thinking of it, he did not know what statement he expected. He would´ve never thought that Logan would follow him to the lake.

„Did the proffesor told you to look after me?" because that would explain a lot.

„No."

They became silent again and Scott bit his lips. For the first time since what seemed like forver he was glad about not being able to cry because of the beams that were the reason he had to hid his eyes behind those glasses.

„Why did you come then?"

„Thought you could need it. You seemed out of it." To be honest, the Wolverine seemed totally out of his role. Scott noticed it, but, he was out of his role, too. He wasn´t the strong and fearless leader anymore. He was just a moaning Scott Summers who must seem more like a kid than a leader to Logan.

He took a deep breath, not sure if he really should tell Logan about it, but he started anyway.

„I...I can still...hear her voice in my head." Turning his head away from the other man´s face, he continued. „She´s calling my name...again and again...but I can´t help her. I'm...not strong enough. I never was. - I once promised her, that I would take care of her. That I would never let anything happen to her, but...I was too weak."

„She did not let anybody help her. You know, she even blocked Nightcrawler."

„I should have known! You know – we had this link between our minds and I- I can still hear her calling out to me, asking me for help." He had turned his head to face Logan, trying to ignore the burning in his eyes.

„Every day, every night, I can hear her voice and I can´t stop it. I think I´m going crazy."

Logan frowned and watched the water. „I -" , it seemed difficult to The Wolverine to talk about this, to spend some words of comfort, and Scott didn't even know if it was even possible.

„I can't tell you what to do about voices or anything – that´s something the professor would know – but, hiding in your room and moaning all the time can´t be any good. You really need to move on. And dude, I hate it taking your place, I´m not the leader guy and if you just don´t do this job anymore, we´ve got a problem."

His big hands took a stone and threw it into the water. Circles were forming on the surface, grewing bigger until they were to big to be steady.

The next sentence Cyclops spoke was barely a whisper, but Logan could hear it clearly.

„When I heard her voice in my head and drove here, I thought, for a moment, she would stand here and greet me. Looking like she always did, as if nothing happend. And I stuck fast to this idea. And then I would come here and nothing happend. I waited for some miracle, but it was stupid. They never come. They don´t exsist and I of all people should know that."

His whole body was trembling and so was his voice. His hands grabbed some pebbles and sand from the lake´s shore. He turned it around and watched the sand trickling out of his hand not being able to keep it, until only the stones were left.

„It´s stupid, isn´t it?" he asked.

For a moment, Logan seemed to anwer yes, but then he shook his head no and took a deep breath.

„It´s human", he said.

„Hey, what about you taking the car I drove here in, and me taking your motorcycle back?"

Cyclops watched him for a moment, doubing what he´d heard.

„After all you´ve done to it? The last time you took it, I had to do a whole make-over. Do you think I´m stupid?"

„That´s a trick question, isn´t it?"

_Please review and tell me honestly what you´re thinking. _


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