Bleach 1. Prologue

WARNING: This story is one of domestic abuse. If this makes you feel uncomfortable reading about a man beat a woman, than you shouldn't probably read this story.

Also, for those of you who is reading my other story, the abusive man will not be Ichigo. So you can relax if you nearly had a heart attack.

Also, this is a serious story, so i will not allow for anyone to bash it because this story is close to my own heart, so if you have something to say as in I'm a troll or that the main character is stupid, Just don't say it, because there are people in abusive relationships and they are** not to be looked down upon,** at all.

So please, Read, Review and Enjoy.

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The ground is cold and hot. Or maybe it is just me.

I can feel my body quivering…or is it trembling? The difference? I do not know. Perhaps there isn't any. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about it any way. I am dying.

But I guess since I am dying, I can make a big deal about it. It is my farewell wish to make a big deal about something some menial and banal, since I normally don't make a big deal about anything. Well, at least I didn't. It's kind of hard to make a big deal about anything when you're dead, or at the very least dying. I guess you can make a big deal about dying, but there's so many others around that are willing to make a big deal about it for you, there's really no point. I, for one, wish not to make a big deal about my death. I'm dying, the last thing I want to waste the precious few moments of my dwindling life is fretting over my own death. When I go, I want it to be like it's a normal, everyday thing.

I don't want people crying. I don't want them to be sad. I don't want it to loom over them and make their lives harder than it needs to be.

I won't say that I'm not worth it. Through my short, 17 years of life, it took me some time, but I realize that I'm worth a lot, to my friends, to those that love me, and more. But it's just that I love them so much, I want them to always be happy, and for when they think of me, for it to be happy thoughts.

A sharp pain races through my body when I take a subtle breath, I can actually feel the slowly painful process of my punctured lung filling up with blood. The scraping of membrane and tissue against bone on the inside of my body. I want to not breathe, but that makes the pain even more unbearable than it already is.

Everything hurts.

I already knew that when I die, it was going to be a painful one. My life has been surrounded by pain. I was born in a world of pain, already knowing that it was how I was going to leave it. But the pain doesn't compare to the joy and elation that I feel.

I'm free. I'm finally free. Compared to the broken ribs, punctured lung, broken teeth and nails, busted lip and what I assume is an incredibly bruised face…I'm pretty happy.

My painfully split lips curl into a smile, making my entire face hurt. I'm free.

I look into the dark starry sky, longing to be one of those bright, shiny balls of gas, burning brightly and iridescently, even long after I'm gone. That's when I feel it.

The cold, cooling relief of that first magical drop of rain. It lands on my swollen eyelid, cooling the hot flesh.

Another one falls, landing on my cheek. Then another, and another. Soon, it's a full on out pour of rain, washing away my soul, making me clean, shiny and new. It washes away my bad tidings, my dark deeds, my horrendous past. It washes away everything that's bad and leaves me with nothing but goodness and love. It connects me to my friends and my family and the one that I love oh so very much.

It seeps into my clothes, my hair, my bruises, my scraps, my scars, my wounds. It fills my nostrils with the scent of fresh rainwater, and nature. It forms a puddle of cooling water around my body, easing the pain that has begun to become numb.

I love the rain. It has always made me feel safe and new and clean.

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.

I'm not sure if it's reflex, before you're shipped off to the next world or what. Or maybe people just like to look back on what they've done in their life to guesstimate where they are going.

I would rather only look back on the happy parts of my life, because the bad happens to be more painful than this. But of course, the good comes with the bad.

So bring on the pain, because before my short life comes to an even shorter end, I would like to see just where did I end up going wrong.

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	2. The Beginning

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Like any good mystery I guess I should start from the beginning.

I grew up in the small city of Attica Ohio. There are fewer than a thousand people there.

I guess you can say that I came from a broken home. My parents were together, but they were anything but happy. They would yell and swear all the time, even late into the nights. Sometimes even the police would be involved.

Then one night, I woke to the sound of my father's drunken howls. I crept out of my bedroom, afraid that he would see me and set his ire in my direction. I slowly made my way down the hall, peeking around the corner just in time to see my father strike my mother across her face with his tightly balled fist. She fell to the ground, clutching her face, releasing a loud cry.

He yelled obscenities at her, bending over and yanking her up by the collar of her dress. He raised his hand to hit her again. She flinched, covering her face with her hands, crying and pleading him to stop.

I was frozen in my spot. Unsure of what to do. My five year old heart went into overdrive, pounding ferociously in my chest.

Yes, my father got drunk and he yelled a lot. He said mean things and he shoved my brother some times. But he always took me to the park and he loved me very much. He also told my mother that he loved her, all the time. He said it every day, even after they argue. He made sure that she knew how much he loved her and needed her.

So why would he do this? Why would he hit her?

I didn't yet understand what this meant. Being only five, the words, domestic abuse, weren't in my limited vocabulary. However, it was everywhere in my home, I just wasn't aware. I didn't know what it meant for my family. I didn't know what it meant for me.

I covered my mouth, taking a few steps back, watching the horror before me. My father's face turns red, spittle flies from his mouth as he shakes my mother, and throws her on the ground. He yells and screams at her, kicking her in the back.

I look away, unable to take the pain that it causes me to see such violence from my father to my mother. I felt a presence behind me and for a quick, irrational moment, I fear that it's my father and I release my bladder, the stinky hot liquid slides down my legs.

I turn to face my brother. He kneels down before me and places his index finger to his mouth to hush my low whimper. He lifts me up, despite my accident, and takes me into the bathroom. He helps me get cleaned up and puts me back to bed, making me promise that I wouldn't leave my room until morning.

It would be another few days until I would see my father hit my mother again. That time, they saw me. She was on the ground, crawling from him. Her orange hair, so much like my own, was plaster to her face as she cried, begging and pleading him not to do this to her again.

Once again, I hid the hall, captivated by my father's fist and how they hit my mother, bruising her flesh, changing her pale skin from white to red, to purple and black. She struggled to get away from him, screaming loudly.

Her wild, fearful eyes met mines. I gasp in horror at the women that was my mother. I see her make the sounds of my name with her mouth. I look from her to my farther and quickly look back to her.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" I hear my father yells. It doesn't occur to me that he's talking to me.

My mother's eyes widens as she scrambles towards me, shielding me from my father. I didn't understand what was going on; all I knew was that I was terrified.

The rest after that is all much to painful to remember. I pushed it to the deepest recesses of m y mind to be forgotten forever, save for nightmares. My brother and my father died soon thereafter and that I was moved from Ohio to Virginia.

I lived with my aunt on my mother's side for ten years. I made friends and family, and I was happy. However, my aunt was promoted reassigned to New Jersey. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to move again. I couldn't move again. I begged her to stay. It was the first time in my life that I've ever begged for anything.

How unfortunate it is that it was far from last time that I would ever beg.

She agreed to let me stay in a small one bedroom apartment close to the school in the same complex that her co-worker lives.

It was there that I met him. The man that forever changed my life.

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	3. Michael

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I was in the tenth grade when I met him. I don't know what drew me to him. Maybe it was his soft, kind grey eyes, which reminded me of my father. Or maybe it was his long black hair, which reminded me of my mother. Either way, I was inexplicably drawn to him like a moth to a brightly burning flame. And just like that moth being drawn to that flame, I was burned. Horribly, horribly burned.

It happened one night when I was coming home from my part time job at the sonic a few blocks away. It was already late, twelve, I think, and I was tired. I had school in the morning, and I had to walk home. To work in America's drive in, yet own no car. I'm not sure if that's irony or what, but it gets me crackin whenever I think about it.

I was fumbling with the keys to my apartment when I heard a loud crashing sound coming from down the hall. I turned to face the direction in which there was a loud crash. I could feel my eyes widen from fear and worry and curiosity.

Heart pounding, I bring my fist to my chest and I slowly walk down the hall, feeling like a little girl. I hear grunts and groaning, it sounds like a struggle. I swallow thickly, the fear starting to outweigh my curiosity, yet, I continue to walk.

I quietly round the corner, and I come across a guy being jumped by two other guys. I gasp, stepping back and dropping my keys.

They heard me.

One of the men grab on to his partner in crime, however he wasn't done beating his victim.

"Man come on let's go. We can't get caught!" one of they says.

"You fucking bastard! If I ever catch you anywhere near my sister again. I swear to God I will fucking kill you! You hear me?!" his friend pulls him away, as he struggles and yells at the groaning man on the ground.

They bump into me, knocking me down, as they run away. I look after them as the rush down the hall and round the corner.

I turn back to the figure slumped on the ground, groaning in pain. I crawl over to him, hesitantly touching him, asking if he was okay.

"Are you okay? Should I call the police?"

"No," he moans, struggling to sit up. I help him, moving his hair away from his bloodied face. Immediately, my heart wrenches. He's hurt. I just knew that he needed my help.

"Oh no…you're hurt. Let's get you to a hospital." I tell him, putting one of his arms over my shoulder and helping him to stand.

"No…" he groans. "No hospital, no police. Those bastards don't have the nerve to come back and face me during the day."

"But you're really hurt."

"No…I'm not. I just need some Tylenol and an ice pack then I'll be fine."

"No, you should go to the hospital. What if you have a concussion…or some internal bleeding?" I was worried for him. To see him in such a state broke my heart. But then again, I am an extremely sensitive person. I can't even kill a spider, but I digress.

"Trust me; those pansies don't have it in them to do that type of damage. I'm fine." He looked up through his sweat streaked hair; his soft grey eyes met mines.

For a moment, I was struck, as was he. He seemed so familiar to me…those eyes…that hair…

I pushed my own long, orange hair behind my ear, my cheeks burning. He was beautiful. Even battered and bruised, he was beautiful. It was then that I knew that I had a crush.

I only ever had one crush before. Admittedly, when I met this man, I was still enamored with my previous crush.

I remember the day that I met him. It was freshmen year at West Creek High. My best friend, Rukia Kuchiki, was the one that introduced me to Ichigo Kurosaki.

Many were weary of him, because of his spiky orange hair, scowl, and his tendency to get into fights. However, to me, he was…interesting. Rukia knew him through her boyfriend, Renji Abarai, who was his best friend. We would always hang out together in his basement, watching movies or doing homework.

Sometimes, it would be just be me and Ichigo. Rukia and Renji would leave to go have some "alone time" that would make me blush. Whenever we were alone, there wouldn't be much talking. My heart would race a thousand mile a second.

Sometimes, he would even ask for my help with biology, chemistry, or physics. He isn't very good in science, but that's was okay, I would've done anything to have a chance to talk to him, and helping formulate equations was a Godsend.

However, our relationship never went beyond friendship. And I turned down every offer of a date to the dance, movies, dinner, wherever, just in hopes that one of those offers would come from him. But every time when I think that things would progress…we would be interrupted and the moment would be lost.

But once again, I digress.

"Well…at least let me clean your wounds. They look pretty bad," I told him softly. He gave me a toothy grin, wincing from the pain of it.

"Well, how can I possibly say no to someone as beautiful as you?" I looked down, a smile coupled with a brightly burning blush.

"Thank you," I help him to stand and we make our way to my apartment. He angled his head and looked me in my eye, still smiling.

"So do those beautiful eyes of yours come with a name?" I couldn't help but to laugh. A small giggle erupted from my chest. "Oh man and that laugh. It has got to be the most beautiful sound known to man. Please, please, tell me how I can help you to make that sound again." oh that's right. He was always very charming. I guess he had what you would call silver tongue…or is it a golden tongue? Either way, he was able to slip past any defense that I could possibly have.

I giggled again. We made it to my apartment when I realized that I had left my key. I helped him to lean against the door, and went back to retrieve my key. My heart racing, the smile seeming to be permanently etched on my face.

I make my way back to him. He had fallen asleep against my door. It frightened me down to my bones. The first thing that was on my brain was that he did have a concussion.

"Oh no! Please wake up!" I shook him, waking him up. He began to laugh, a deep throaty chuckle. My heart was still racing from the fright, I didn't quite understand.

"Sorry, it was a joke. I didn't mean to scare you." I place my fist to my chest, nodding. It was only a joke. One in bad taste, and wasn't at all funny. But seeing his face fall at the fact that I didn't see his joke was funny…it made me feel bad, so I gave him a light chuckle and a hesitant smile. His face lit up and that's when it all started.

We spent the night talking. Although I was bone tired, I was terrified to let him go to sleep. So every questioned he asked, I answered. We found out a lot about each other. He was 20 years old and he was a mechanic for Joe's Garage that was a few blocks away. He has two older brothers that lives in Montana, and he one day hoped to own his own garage. I couldn't ask him what was that business about that in the hallway. I had a feeling that he wouldn't want to talk about it. I mean, who would want to talk about being jumped?

I told him that I was a carhop at sonic, although, he knew that since I was still wearing my uniform. I told him that I lived alone because I didn't want to move with my aunt to New Jersey. I told him that I was a sophomore at West Creek High, and that I was hoping to get into Columbia University. I worked really hard to maintain a perfect GPA and was a part of many clubs and organizations. He was intrigued that I was so well put together, living on my own and workings and going to school and stuff.

Soon, we ran out of things to talk about, and there was just silence. It was then that he came and sat next to me. He gently pushed my hair out of my face, commenting on how soft it was and how good it smelt. I knew he had to be lying because the ice cream machine had exploded on me and I hadn't had a chance to wash it out yet. But I accepted the compliment anyway, swallowing the thick lump that was in my throat.

He kissed me.

It was kind of clumsy with his busted lips, and my inexperience. But it was my first kiss, so I thought it was perfect.

"Wow," he whispered, a slow smile spreading across his face. I smiled as well, unable to look him in the eye. It was my first kiss. I had always hoped that it would have been with Ichigo. But at that moment, Ichigo wasn't on my mind. I had just kissed a guy that I barely knew. I didn't even know his name, and he didn't know mines. Not to mention that he was like four years older than me.

But none of that registered to my barely 16 year old brain. So when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I foolishly said yes. Now that I look back. I think that that was when I first went wrong.

"So, you never did tell me your name beautiful," he said with a grin.

"It's Orihime…Orihime Inoue," I said with a blush.

"Orihime, that's beautiful. My name is Michael."

"Michael…" I grin. "I love the name Michael. It's the name of an Angel, you know." I told him.

Little did I know that the name Michael would become synonymous with pain in my very near future.

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I know the chapters are short and the story is kind of moving slow, but I'm almost done with the introdcution, so things should begin to progress and become more intresting soon after the next chapter.

Questions, Comments, and/or Concerns?


	4. Sorry

Please Read, Review and Enjoy!

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Things progressed very quickly for Michael and me. We saw each other every day. He insisted that we hang out together whenever I had free time, because of my busy schedule. Sometimes I would cancel a meeting, or leave work early just spend more time with him. Strangely though, I hadn't had the nerve to tell my friends about him.

Especially Ichigo.

For some unknown reason, reasons I better understand now than I did then, I didn't want Ichigo to know about Michael. I cared for Michal, I'm sure that I did, but I didn't want him anywhere near Ichigo. It was weird. In fact, I don't think that I ever told him about Ichigo. I tried to keep the two of them as far away from each other as possible, unknowingly I guess. I now know that it was because I still held out hope that my some miracle Ichigo would fall in love with me and confess this magical undying love.

It was a subconscious desire. A silly, pathetic, subconscious desire. But a desire nonetheless.

It was the third month of Michael's and I relationship when I was confronted by my best friend, Rukia, about my absentee behavior. We were working the late shift on a Friday night. Things were going slow, there weren't many people coming to the sonic, opting instead to hit the movies, go on dates, go to parties and other things that are denied those that have to work.

Rukia came over and poked me in my side as I was staring out the window, a soft smile on my face as I thought about my secret boyfriend.

"Whatcha thinking about? A certain carrot top?" She smirked, wiggling her eye brows, a trait she picked up from her boyfriend.

I blushed; looking for an escape, something to get me out of this conversation that I knew was a long time coming.

"Uh…No, I was thinking about…mint raspberry green tea slush! Yeah! I wanted to try that, and now that I remembered, I'm going to go make it." I quickly evaded her question. She frowned, following me her arms folded in front of her small chest.

"Raspberry mint green tea slush?" she asked, her dark eyebrow lifted.

"Yeah? I know that you think my tastes in drinks are weird."

"Your taste in everything is weird. Including clothes, food, and boys."

"But it's my taste buds and you can't judge them or question them. They want what they want."

"Yeah, I know that, but that's not the problem. The problem is the fact that, for once since I've known you in the past ten years, you want something that's normal. Completely different from what you're used to drinking."

I was confused by what she was saying. I didn't quite understand what she was talking about. Everyone always questioned what I ate. They always said that it was weird and quite possibly disgusting when I felt that it was as normal as rain. So I knew that if Rukia was saying that I drinking something normal then it must have meant that I was being weird. But like I said, I couldn't understand that.

"I don't understand what you're trying to say." I told her. She opened her mouth to speak, when we heard a howling commotion coming from the kitchen.

"HOLY SHIT FUCK. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! SON OF A SHIT EATING BITCH!"

"Reggie…is everything alright back there?" Rukia asked, momentarily distracted from me.

"FUCKING NO. SHIT! I FUCKING BURNT MYSLEF ON THIS FUCKING GRILL. FUCK!" He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Oh no, Reggie, is there anything that can do to help?" I asked him, deeply concerned for his injury.

"Ah…no sweetheart…well…call Kurosaki in. I need him to take over my shift, because I'm not doing this."

"Call Kurosaki for what?" Trish, our manager asked.

"I fucking burned my hand so I'm going home. Orihime could you clock me out?"

"Wait Hime, Reggie, let me see you hand."

"What the fuck you need to see it for? I told you that I fucking burned myself. I'm not working with a fucking burnt hand."

"Well is there anyone else that we can call other than Kurosaki? I kind of hate him." Trish stated looking at the schedule.

"Fuck, No. Lucy requested the day off and Mark, Ken and George already worked today. The only person left is the new guy and he doesn't have enough training to do the whole kitchen by himself."

"Gooodddd!" Trish groaned, palming her face. "But I hate him sooo much."

"Yeah, well tough tit sister. I need to go get cream for this shit. Bye."

"Wait, you're leaving now." She asked him. He ignored her and left the building, muttering obscenities under his breath.

"Ughhh!" she groaned, turning to her desk to call Ichigo.

Admittedly, my heart had begun to race. Ichigo was coming. Did I forget to mention that one of the perks of working at sonic was the fact that Ichigo also worked as well?

The need to suddenly tighten my ponytail and make sure my bangs was decent. The urge to adjust my uniform and gloss my lips became apparent but I couldn't do that. If I did that then that would be admitting that I still held feeling for Ichigo, which would be wrong since I was in a relationship with Michael.

Luckily, we became busy enough for me to take my mind off my guilt. However, I couldn't help but feel Rukia's eyes on me whenever I was in the building making drinks, shakes, when I left and entered building. That was making me feel worse then thinking about Ichigo, so I tried and took my time outside with my orders. That's when the trouble started.

"Alright sir, if you could just wait for a moment, I'll be right out with your burger." I gave him my best sonic smile.

"Listen babe, I was wondering if you could do me a favor." I swallowed thickly because I had long since known that nothing good ever follows when someone calls me babe. My smile became tight, and I nodded.

"Okay, so here's what I'm going to need you to do. I going to need you to bring me out one of them red trays and like a shitload of napkins. I'm going to want some ketchup, mayo and mustard. And I'm going to need you to bring that cute ass of yours back here so I can give you further instruction." He gave me a leery grin. I wanted to just stare at him and pretend that those words didn't come out of his mouth. But it's my job, and he's not the worst customer that I had. I rather that they treat me like I'm some bimbo rather than they become grabby.

I turn to go and get his requested items. When I return he has a secret smile on his face.

"Is there anything else I can get for you sir?" I ask him with a more than cheery deposition, hoping that he wouldn't ask for anything more.

"As a matter of fact, there are sweet cheeks. We order 7 drinks, yet…could you count how many there is?" I tried to keep from frowning.

"I count five."

"Very good. It's nice to know that you can count that high. Now, if I need seven, how many drinks are missing?"

"2. But sir, you only ordered five."

"No, I ordered seven. I'm missing 2 Route 44 Dr. Peppers. Now, you work for tips don't you darling? If you want to earn one, I suggest you take your nice ass back in there and make my drinks."

"But-"

"The only butt I want to see is yours, walking away to make my drinks." I repressed a sigh and nodded.

"Okay, sorry about that. It was two Route 44 Dr. Peppers right?" I made my way back to the restaurant, making the drinks.

"What's going on out there Hime?" Rukia asked me, as she took another order.

"He said that I forgot to bring out his two drinks, but his ticket said he only ordered five."

"The fuck, he did only order five, I'm the one that took his fucking order. That stupid son of a bitch only ordered five drinks. I hope you charge him for those drinks."

"No, I'll just pay for them out of my tips."

"Not for that bastard you won't. Do you need me to- Welcome to sonic, please give me a moment. Do you need me to go out there? Christ, I said give me a fucking moment! Please repeat that again ma'am." She moves to the register to key in the order.

"No, I'm good Rukia, besides you and Trish are busy." I say, looking back at Trish who was filling in for cook until Ichigo arrived.

I top the drinks and bring them out to the customer.

"Here you go sir, two Route 44 Dr. Peppers, sorry for the mix up."

"I know you are sweetheart, but it's okay." He takes a sip of the drink and makes a face. "What the fuck is this? Moose piss? I can't drink this, you're going to have to take this back and get me something else."

"What's wrong with it sir?"

"It's not Dr. Pepper, its…liquid fart. I'm not drinking this. Take it back and get me the real Dr. Pepper."

"Sir, it is Dr. Pepper, I can assure you of that."

"It's not. I know what Dr. Pepper taste like and this isn't it."

"Sir it-"

"Listen, you're real cute, but that doesn't cover for your inadequacy. Get me what I ordered."

"Sir, I'm trying to tell you-"

"And I'm telling you, that this isn't it!" He roared standing up.

My eyes widened as I took a step back, fearful of what this volatile customer might do.

"Yo."

Both the customer and I and his friends all turn to face the voice of the person that interrupted us. It was none other than Ichigo, strolling up the patio in his blue and red sonic shirt and black jeans, his hands stuffed in the pockets.

"Ichigo…" I breathe, some relief washing over me.

"Orihime. You're good…right?" He asked, walking up beside me. Something bubbled and foamed inside my chest. I couldn't' stop myself from blushing and smiling.

"Uh…yeah…I'm good. Everything's fine."

"Excuse me, but everything is not fine. I fucking need two new drinks. Because this shit isn't Dr. Pepper. Now if I don't get it, then I will report you." The rude customer called out. Ichigo slowly turned to face the man, a look of irritation on his face.

"What is it that you ordered sir?" Ichigo asked him tightly.

The man faltered a bit. "I…I ordered two Route 44 Dr. Peppers."

"Fine. I'll get them myself." Ichigo growled, stalking into the store, grabbing hold of my wrist, dragging me with him.

I'll be lying if I said that when his hand touched my wrist my face didn't become as read as a tomato and my heart didn't beat so loud and fast and that I didn't nearly suffocate from holding my breath in.

Ichigo made the drinks and handed them to me. He folded his arms and stared out the window at the customer. I left the safety of our building and Ichigo to hand the man his drinks. He took them without a word and paid me, leaving me a decent sized tip. After that I had no more trouble with the man at all.

"What took you so long to get here?" Rukia asked Ichigo as we were closing up shop. I was at the desk next to Trish, turning in my money. I craned my neck to see them, I was curious about his answer. But then again, I'm normally curious about everything Ichigo. He's such a mystery, it's impossible to not want to know more about him.

"I was sleeping when Trish called. Besides, it's not normally this busy on a Friday."

"Who sleeps on a Friday night?" Rukia asked, taking her containers to the back to clean.

"Um…this group that's apart of everybody." I couldn't help myself. I giggled at the remark. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, but he heard me. He turned in my direction and gave me a smile. I had to still my quickly beating heart and I turned my head to look away from him, my face burning brightly.

Rukia snorted. "Yeah, whatever."

"Alright Hime, you are correct as usually with your money. And as usual you made a shit ton in tips. You are free to go home. Rukia, I'm going to need you to stay another hour for drive thru."

"What? But I have to take Orihime home."

"That's okay Rukia, I don't mind walking."

"None sense, it's too dark and dangerous out for you to be walking by yourself. Just wait until I get off."

"What, you want her to wait an whole hour on you? She probably have stuff to do tomorrow." Ichigo stated, cleaning the grill.

"Then you take her home Mr. Noble. Wait, did you drive your car, or did you ride that ridiculous bike up here?"

"It's not a ridiculous bike. And I took my car, I have no problem driving you home Orihime. Just give me a few minutes to finish up here."

"No, need to go through all of that trouble. I really don't live far. It's just a twenty minute walk. Or ten minute run."

"None sense, you're not going home alone. Ichigo said that he'll give you a ride."

"But"

"It's not a big deal. I don't mind giving you a ride Orihime." He said to me. I bit my lip, trying to steady my breathing as I accepted his offer.

It took him a few minutes, but he finished his work and we left.

There was silence in his car on the way home. It was weird to see Ichigo drive his car. He loved his bike, he worked really hard to rebuild it from scratch and it was near impossible to see him without it. I always thought that his bike was cool. I mean, the amount of people that own motorcycles in the world is nowhere near the amount that own cars. So he's one of the very few in the world that have one. It makes him rare and amazing.

Or at least it does in my opinion.

He pulls up in front of my apartment building, parking his car and hopping out. He walks me inside, to my apartment actually, his hand stuffed in his pockets.

"So…I haven't been seeing you around much lately. Have you joined some new club or something?" he asked softly, making small conversation. I blushed, my heart racing as I thought Michael, the new priority in my life.

"Uh…no, I guess I've just been…um…pretty caught up. I want to make sure my transcript is perfect so that Columbia doesn't have a reason to deny me." I grasp my hands behind my back, a habit that I hate, but I can't break. When I grasp my hands behind my back, I'm pushing my, already large and overly ample chest up, making it seem even more ginormous than it already is. But it's something that I do when I have nothing to do with my hands and right at that moment, I wasn't thinking about my chest or the freakish abnormally that was it.

I was caught up in Ichigo warm brown eyes, and the softness of his voice. I was caught in that moment of subtle comfort, never mind the slight awkwardness that our silence has created.

"Oh…well, I'm sure that you're going to get in. You're crazy smart and you have a lot of things that you're juggling pretty well, so they would be crazy not to accept you. But you have plenty of time to worry about that. Just don't forget not to miss out on things and still have fun." He said, his face holding a slight tint to it. I smiled at him, nodding, inspired by his words.

Of course, my phone rang at that time to ruin the moment.

It was Michael.

"Oh, I…gotta take this…"

"Sure…I understand. See you around…Orihime." he said, waving goodbye.

"Yeah, see you later." I gave an awkward goodbye.

I turn to open my door, and answer my phone at the same time. Much to my horror and surprise, Michael was already in my apartment, a terrifying look on his face.

"Michael…what are you doing here?" last I checked, I didn't give him a key.

"Who the fuck was that?" he growled. When my heart dropped from my chest to my stomach; that should have been a warning sign that I should have left after Ichigo and asked him to take me to Rukia's.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb Orihime, who the fuck was that bastard that you were just talking to?"

"Michael, please, calm down. That was just my friend."

"Do you want to fuck all of your friends?"

"What?"

"Say what to me one more time, I swear to fucking God I will fucking strangle you!" he spat at me.

My heart started beating quite painfully and loudly in my chest. I was…confused. I didn't understand what was happening. Why was he acting this way, what was going on. That couldn't' be the same person, that couldn't be my Michael. This wasn't him, he had dark, cold grey eyes and a terrifying demeanor and he looked as if he was about to murder me.

I took a step back, holding my hand to my chest, knowing that I needed to leave because I was going to be hurt. But I had to reason with him. I had to make him understand. I should have known that I had to leave.

He stormed over to me and grabbed me by my shoulders, shaking me.

"Who the fuck was he? Why the fuck was he here!? Are you fucking him behind my back?! Huh?! Are you?! You fucking cheating on me Orihime?! Are you?!" he screamed at me, shaking me, banging me against the wall. My head was rattling around like bucket of marbles, my heart went into overdrive. I couldn't help but to cry. I had no idea what was going on. I was so utterly terrified and confused. I wanted to get away. I could bear this. But his grip on me was so iron clad and painfully tight.

"No, he's just a friend. I promise you he's just a friend! Please Michael, you're hurting me!"

"Then why were you with him?! Why the fuck were you talking to him?! Answer me!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, please Michael, it didn't mean anything, and he's just my friend. I swear, please, you're hurting me!" I cried, tears streaming down my face.

He threw me against the wall, where I slumped down and brought my knees up to my chest, huge, body encompassing sobs shuddering throughout my body. I was so terrified. My arms, chest and back hurt, I had a massive headache from being shaken like a doll. But more than anything, I was terrified. What was this change in my boyfriend? Why would he hurt me? Was he really that upset because of Ichigo?

He knelt down beside me. I flinched; not wanting to be anywhere near him.

"Orihime…" he said softly. I moan softly, trying to stifle a cry. My head and my hurt both hurting from this unwarranted abuse from him. "Orihime…I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I truly am. I…I don't know what came over me. I don't. I didn't mean any of that. I promise. I'm truly sorry for what I did. I really am. Please. Please don't leave me, I swear, I won't ever do anything like that ever again. I promise, Orihime, please don't leave. Please."

I couldn't answer him. I was too frightened to do much other than cry. He pulled me in to her arms. He pulled me into a soft hug with the very same hands that just grabbed my arms with a bruising force and threw me into the wall.

He tenderly kissed my forehead with the very same lips that swore at me and yelled at me and threated to strangle me with the very same hands that caressed my hair.

I was somewhat comforted, but only because I needed comfort. The fact that the comfort came from my abuser confused me majorly. But it was all that I had, so I accepted. My heart was a mess, and my mind couldn't be accounted for.

"I'm sorry Orihime. I'm really sorry. I promise. I won't do it again. I promise, I won't ever do it."

It wouldn't be the last time that he lies to me.

It wouldn't be the last time that I accepted his lie.

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Questions, Comments and/Or Concerns?


	5. Christmas Part One

Okay, To IchigoOrihime: I am going to finish JGMAR, I already have actually, weeks ago, but my beta haven't had a chance to edit the chapter yet, so until she sends me the fixed copy, my readers shall be suspeneded in limbo, and for that I am sorry.

To the rest of you, please, read, review and Enjoy

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So what happened after work that day was nothing compared to what soon followed.

Michael had been acting needy lately, and I think it was because Christmas was just around the corner, and I was going to spend Christmas break with my aunt in New Jersey.

Or it could have just been the fact that only a week ago he completely flipped out on me. Shaking me as if I was nothing more than a rag doll and throwing me against the wall.

Whatever the case may be, things had been kind of tense between us and I was ecstatic for a chance to be with my aunt again. Come home to an empty apartment is really lonely. And while I couldn't spend thanksgiving with her, Christmas and New Year's will more than make up for it.

So, on the second to last day of midterms, I was just much too happy to fully understand that I was under investigation by Rukia.

"So…going to spend Christmas with your aunt?" she asked when we were at our lockers, packing away our bags.

"Yep. Two whole weeks of us together. I'm so excited; I've been waiting for this for months. She had sent me my ticket in August. Business class. I feel bad for those who have to buy their tickets now. It'll cost like, 1500 to 2000 dollars to get tickets to New Jersey now. You know, holiday season and all. Besides, weather is supposed to be bad, so I'm going to leave, like right after school tomorrow."

"Really? I thought that we would have more time. Well, what are you doing after school today? I know that you don't have any club activities; they were all canceled due to weather conditions. We could go to the café and get some hot chocolate and exchange presents. You can get the mint chocolate with honey, cinnamon, nutmeg and black pepper." She suggested. That thought immediately resonated with me, for it was something that I really wanted to do.

I was about to accept when Michael came crashing into my mind. He told me that he wanted to hang out today. And after what happened last week, I didn't want to do anything more to upset him. I realize now that at that point I was crossing over a bridge. One in which I would never be able to return.

"Sorry Rukia, but I can't. I have to…study…for the exams tomorrow. You know, Columbia. I can't afford anything less than perfect."

"Orihime, the only exams that you have tomorrow are English and Chem. You know that you can do Chemistry in your sleep. And English, if you can really call interrupting the essential theory in which Grimmol have really an exam. We've been talking about that since November. Everyone aced that paper, and those that obviously never heard of cliff notes."

"Sorry Rukia. I can't, you know how important Columbia is to me."

"I do know, but Orihime…something else is up, I can totally tell. You've been MIA far too much for you to just simply be busy. Come on now, tell me what's up. Is it Ichigo? Are you two secretly dating on the sly?"

I blushed, my heart racing in my chest. "N-no! Trust me Rukia, it isn't anything like that. I'm just busy with school and stuff. Besides, I still have to pack and stuff for tomorrow and make sure that my travel plans are all in order and stuff. I'm sorry that I keep turning you down but trust me; things will get much better soon. I promise." There. I had the chance then and there to tell her about Michael, my secret boyfriend. But I didn't. She was by best friend in the whole entire world; I could normally tell her everything. But for some reason, I couldn't tell her about him. I was…I don't know what I was at the time, there isn't a word to described how I felt about him then and my reluctance share the news that I was with him with anyone else. I guess shame is as close as I'm going to get with it.

"Orihime. For the past few months, I've been blown off by you. You really blown off all our other friends. I don't think that they even remember that you exist. And I'm starting to feel abandoned…by my own best friend." My heart went out to her. I missed handing out with her, more than she could have possibly known. However Michael required a lot of attention. And I couldn't just abandon him. He was my boyfriend.

"I know…and I'm truly sorry. I promise, when I get back from New Jersey, I promise that we will spend the day shopping and getting mani-pedis all day, okay?" Rukia had folded her arms across her chest, a frown on her face. But as I poked her over and over she began to smile, unable to hide her happiness.

"Okay fine. But I'm going to hold you to it. I swear, if you cancel on me I will hunt you down and force you to drink heavy cream.

"Alright, alright. I promise."

Rukia gave me a ride home, telling me how her older brother is going to take her to London for Christmas. Complaining that it's going to be the longest away she ever spent from Renji and wondering if she'll be able to make it through the nights without him. But I know that that was all just talk. The chance to shop in a foreign country is something that Rukia would never in a million years pass up. Shopping is her addiction, her brother's limitless credit card her only medication.

I smile, listening intently as she lists all the stores that she plans to visit while in Europe. Although they'll be in London, she's planning for shopping in Paris, Rome and Russia. I wonder how she's going to be able to swing that.

Rukia drops me off in front of my apartment building, leaving me with an incredibly happy and cheery deposition.

That however was short lived.

I entered my apartment, surprised to see that Michael was already there, on my couch watching television. It still unnerved me beyond what I was comfortable that he had a key to my apartment. But I was kind of terrified to bring it up, so I said nothing.

"Oh, Michael, you're here. Great. Let's do something today before I go off to spend the break with my aunt."

"What?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the television.

"I said we should do something. Maybe go out for a cup of coco, go ice skating, exchange gifts, something like that. We are not going to see each other for a long time so I was thinking-"

"Why aren't we going to see each other for a long time? What's going on?" he peels his eyes from the TV to look at me.

"I thought I told you…I'm going to spend Christmas and New Years with my aunt in New Jersey. I had the ticket since August."

"No you're not." He stated blandly, turning to look at the TV. I blinked, not fully understanding what he had just said.

"I am…I told you, I already have the ticket, besides, this trip been planned since August. I just need to finish packing a few things and-"

"You're not going."

"What?"

"I said that you're not going. You're spending Christmas with me. You can see your aunt some other time." He said with the utmost seriousness, not one trace of humor in his voice. It scared me. It chilled me to my very core that he had already decided that I was going to spend the holiday with him, regardless of my previous engagement.

"I can't I already have the ticket. Besides, I haven't seen my aunt in about a year and I really want to spend the holiday with her."

"I said that you're not going!" he thunders, throwing the remote at the wall, various pieces of plastic flying everywhere.

I flinched, taking a few steps back, my heart racing like the blades of a helicopter. He was becoming scary again and every fiber in me begged and pleaded for me to run. Running is what I wanted to do, but I couldn't just leave all of my stuff at home. Besides, he was my boyfriend. I shouldn't have been afraid of him. He wouldn't hurt me. The last time was just an accident.

Wasn't it?

"Sorry…Michael. But I have to go. It isn't something that I can just cancel."

"I told you that you…WEREN'T…GOING!" he screams, jumping off the couch. I released a startled gasps, stumbling back and tripping over my feet. I fell on my butt with a hard thud, scrambling backwards as he stalked closer and closer to me. My heart and my head went into overdrive; both had begun to pound furiously as terror crept up my spine.

"I'm sorry Michael…but there isn't anything that I can do…the plans already set in motion, I leave tomorrow after school." I cried out to him, holding my hand out in front of me in defense.

"Oh really?" he booms, towering over me. He quickly turns around and stalks to my bedroom. "Let's see if you'll be able to catch the plane without a ticket." He stated, making his way into my room. Immediately terror fills up my chest as the panic settles in. I scramble up, running after him, crying out to him.

"No! Please Michael, Please NO!" But I'm too late. He makes it to my room and snatches my ticket off my vanity, shredding it into pieces, tossing out my open bedroom window. I run to the window in a pitiful attempt to catch them.

My heart shatters into a million tiny pieces and fly out the window with my torn ticket as my hopes of spending the holidays with my aunt are destroyed. Tears fill my eyes as in compassable despair fills soul. The only family that I have left and I might not be able to see her until spring break. And I missed her…I missed her so much…I was really looking forward to not being alone…I really wanted to see her. I missed her so much…I just wanted to see her.

The tears fell in thick streams down my face as I watched my hopes and desires fly away in the wind. My cries became harder, shaking my body, suffocating me. I wanted to see my aunt. Like a little child desperately seeks the comfort of their mother, I sought for the comfort of my aunt. I needed her. I really needed her. I was so impossibly lonely.

"What the hell are you crying for? I'm sure you'll see her again." I could only shake my head. Who knows when I'll be able to see her again? She's my aunt, my only family…and she's in New Jersey.

A thought had formed in my head. I have been saving all of my tips, not once had I ever spent them. I must've had a little over 4 thousand dollars saved up in my shoe box. I was saving that money for when I go to Columbia; I would have enough to get by until I was able to find a job. It would most likely set be back a whole lot, but I was willing to do anything to see my aunt.

"I'm going to see her." I muttered under my breath, scrambling up from my spot on the ground to my bed. He caught me, placing his iron grip around my waist.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"Let go of me Michael, I have some money saved up. It'll cost a lot, but I'm sure I have enough to by a new ticket."

"So you're determined to leave me, even after I told you no?" he growled. I struggled against him, trying to wiggle my way out of his grasp.

"Michael pleases! Let me go. I have to see her…I have to see my aunt! Please let me go! Let me go!" I cried out, choking on my salty tears.

"I fucking said no!" He yelled, lifting me up over his shoulder. I kick and I struggle, trying to get away from him. He throws me on the hard ground. A sharp pain races through my brain as all thoughts are lost to me. I go numb for a few seconds; the only thing that I was able to process was pain.

Subtle, other sensations began to creep up on me, and I realize that he's dragging me by my long orange hair.

I kick and I scream bloody Marry, certain that I was about to die. My body went into over drive as I tried to escape him. But his hold on me was so tight, and I could reach any part of his skin. I screamed for help, my vision blurred by my tears as she dragged me along the ground. It seemed as though no one heard us.

He lifted me up from the ground by my hair, and tossed me into the bathroom. I tripped over the rug and hit the lower part of my cheek hard on the edge of the tub, bright dots and spots swarmed in front of my face. The salty, tangy taste of blood filled my mouth as I realized that I bit my tongue. It became hard to stay away. All the crying and fighting took a lot out of me, as well as being thrown on the ground and hitting the edge of my tub.

I rushed, clumsily, to the bathroom door, only to find that he must've stuck a chair under the knob. I couldn't open it. I scream and I beg him to let me out. But I had the strangest feeling that I was only talking to myself.

My cries grew weaker and weaker as I became more and more weary. I begged and begged for him to let me out, to let me see my aunt.

My cries went unheard.

My head became heavy, as did my eye lids, as did my heart. Right there, on that cold tiled bathroom floor, I fell asleep, begging to see my aunt, bawling like a little girl lost, on Christmas.

.

.

.

Eventually, sometime early the next morning, he let me out of the bathroom. My eyes were puffy and red; I had a really nasty dark purple bruise on my cheek. I looked absolutely terrible. But I had no time to obsess over the way I looked. I had class and I really couldn't afford to miss those tests.

He tried to talk to me, tried to apologize and explain why he flew off the handle. But I didn't want to hear it. The pain was far too fresh, and it was way too much of it for me to even be in the same space as him. So with an aching face and heart I left my apartment in the same clothes from yesterday, with no purse, no backpack, nothing that I needed for school. I just left.

I couldn't be there with him. I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I was angry and upset, and furious. But those emotions were foreign to me. I had never had a need for them. So I didn't know how to handle them. They scared me, made me want to do mean things to make him hurt as much as I hurt. But that wasn't me. I wasn't that type of person. So I needed escape. I needed to escape him.

As I walked to school in the freezing cold, I really regretted the fact that I didn't grab any money or my things. The pitiful pink hoodie that I was wearing wasn't really doing anything at all to protect me from the cold.

When I was still a few blocks away from school, I heard a loud horn blaring at me. I ignored it, hoping that whoever it was that was honking at me would just go away. I wasn't in any mood to be harassed after the horrendous day that I had just had.

"Yo Orihime!" my heart sped up in my chest. It was Ichigo. What time was it that he was not in school yet?

Slowly I turned to face him, a shy smile on my face, my heart racing wildly in my chest as he pulled up beside me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to blare the horn. I was just shocked to see you out, without a coat or anything. Hop in; I'll give you a ride." Immediately I wanted to reject the offer, embarrassed that I was in my clothes from the other day and that I hadn't washed my face or myself for that matter. But we were headed to the same place and by rejecting his offer in favor of walking in the cold, when I am obviously unprepared for, would be to say that I couldn't stand to be in his presence. Which is a lie amongst lies, because being in his presence always brings a smile to my face.

So I opened his car door and sat in the embracing warmth that was radiating throughout the entire vehicle, my face warming up and some feeling settling back in.

"What the hell?" he mutters softly. So quickly that I wasn't able to be aware, he grasped my chin in his large, gloved hands, angling my face to get a better look at the large bruise on my cheek. Immediately, my heart races in my chest, my face burns brightly. I'm certain that there was a blush all the way to my hairline. I held my breath, suffocating my lungs, for I had forgotten how to breathe.

"Orihime, you need to be more careful. One of these days you might end up doing some serious damage to yourself." He told me softly. I could barely concentrate on his words. I was so enraptured by his lips and the face that he was cupping my chin.

He lifted a hand to trace the bruise, and several shivers was sent racing down my spine. My face was burning even more so. I could barely stand it. But then his words registered in my brain.

He thought that I did this to myself. He thought that I had one of my many infamous accidents. But then again, why wouldn't he. As far as anyone knew, yesterday I was at home studying, not being thrown around and dragged into the bathroom by my temperamental boyfriend, one in which no one knows about.

Once again, I had another chance to tell someone about him. I had a chance to tell him that my boyfriend did this to me. That he made it so that I wouldn't be able to see my aunt. But something held be back. Be it fear or shame, whatever word that could've been used to describe the emotion that I was feeling at the time, whatever it was, it prevented me from telling him about Michael.

"Okay, the nurse should have some ice packs, we'll get one before class start." He said, releasing my face and putting his car in gear. My face stayed red, the skin still tingling from his gloved touch, missing the feeling of his hand on my face already.

I turned away from him, bringing my hand to where his hand was, covering the spot. I blush, looking out the window, watching the objects and buildings blur by. There was a fluttering inside my chest, one that I could not kill. The longer I spent inside the car with Ichigo, the worst the fluttering inside my chest became, until it was almost unbearable.

"So I hear that you're going to spend Christmas with your aunt in New Jersey. Are you excited?" he asked his eyes steady on the road. His questions send multiple daggers in my chest, bursting through the balloons of my chest, sliding through his muscle that was my heart and tearing it open. I bit my lip with great intensity, concentrating on the shapeless objects outside the window of the car. It was all that I could do so that I wouldn't break down.

"I'm not going." I told him quietly so that he wouldn't notice the quivering of my voice.

"You're not going? Why? It's all that you could talk about ever since you got the ticket a few months ago. What's changed?"

"I uh...I lost my ticket. And it's too late to get a new one…But it's okay. I'm fine. I don't mind spending Christmas alone. It's fine." It wasn't fine.

"No one should have to spend Christmas alone." He told me softly, looking out the window.

For some reason my mind was brought back to Michael. Could that have been the reason why he reacted so badly? Did he have nowhere to go for Christmas? Did he become jealous and scared of me leaving?

Those were the question that rattled through my brain the entire school day. I avoided many questions about the bruise on my face, coming up with some wild, ridiculous tale about the whole event, all the while, my mind kept returning to Michael. I couldn't stop thinking about him, no matter how much I tried.

So it's no wonder why that when I got home, I actually wanted to see my tormentor. Although I was completely frightened of what might set him off again and what he might do to me next. I just had to see him. I had to know the reason behind why he did what he did. I had to know why he broke my heart. And took away from me, what I most wanted.

"Orihime!" he sates, surprised, hopping up from the couch rushing to embrace me. I let him. I wanted to flinch away from him, but I held it in, not wanting to offend him. "Oh thank God, I was so afraid that you wouldn't come home. Listen…I know what I did was horrible. I shouldn't have done that, I was a complete asshole, bigger than anyone could ever have a right to be. I'm sorry. I really am. It's just that…For years I spent Christmas alone and you were going on and on about spending Christmas with your aunt, you were so happy about it, I thought that…I thought that you were happy to get away from me. I just didn't want to lose you. God did I do that to you?" he asked, shock coloring his face as he looked at the bruise on my face. I turned my head so that he wouldn't see my face impassive. I was sure of his story.

"It's okay. I just need to put some ice on it." I told him, looking him dead in the eye.

"Oh," he falters a bit, running his hands through his long, beautiful black silky hair. It captured my attention. It was so flawless and perfect. I have never seen hair more beautiful on a boy, on anyone for that matter. "I just want you to understand…I just didn't want to be alone for the holidays. I didn't want you to abandon me. I love you."

My eyes widen to about the size of the moon. I couldn't believe what I just heard. I wasn't sure of what I just heard.

"…what?"

"Please Orihime…I love you. I love you with everything that I have…please…please say that you love me too. Please say that you won't leave me." He begged.

I wasn't used to men begging before. But then again, the only thing I knew about men was that they like to hurt women.

"Okay Michael…I won't leave you." I told him. I gave in, and allow him to hold on to me tightly. I agreed to stay with him, believing once again that he wouldn't hurt me. But I couldn't tell him that I loved him. He said that he loved me, but I wasn't sure if I loved him.

I wasn't sure of my feelings for him at all.

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Questions, Comments and/or Concerns?


	6. Christmas II

Hi Guys! OMJ! I know, it took forever, but it's finally here. I hope you enjoy this more light hearted, extrememlely long Chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to update soon, but School is starting and between that and work well...I'll try. I promise you I'll try.

So Please, Read Review and ENjoy!

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"Hello."

"Orihime! Oh thank the lucky stars, where are you? I was so excited to see you; I spent the entire day at the airport. I've been here since 10 in the morning. Would've been here earlier, but traffic was horrible. But I guess that the price you pay for living in New Jersey. Oh, I just can't wait to show you around. It's really fun! And then we can drive over to New York, go see a few plays. I took two whole weeks off so we can spend every moment together. I'm so excited. Where are you? "

I choked back a sob, my eyes burning harshly to the point where I was unable to see. I shook my head, covering my mouth, unable to break my aunt's heart, yet knowing that I had no other choice.

"Orihime…Orihime honey? What's going on? Its sounds like you're crying."

I broke down, unable to contain it any longer. My aunt. I incredible aunt, the woman I aspired to one day be like. I can't see her. Who knows when I'll be able to see her again? And it's my entire fault. Some would say that it's Michael's fault, but I was never one to play the blame game.

"Oh Auntie I'm so so sorry," I sniffle, wiping my nose on the back of the sleeve of the black sweater that I had changed into when I got home.

"Orihime…sweetie, what happened?"

"I…I…I…lost the ticket….I'm so sorry, but I lost the ticket and now we can't see each other and I'm so sorry." My voice broke as emotion overwhelmed me. I sank to my knees, holding myself as I cried helplessly on the phone.

"Oh…Oh…well…well don't worry about it hon. I'm sure that we'll see each other sometime soon. Don't cry."

"B…but I wanted to see you…so bad…I miss you. I miss you a lot, and you had all these plans…And I'm really sorry." I broke down again.

"No, no, no, no. Sweetie, don't cry. Don't cry. It just wasn't meant to happen."

"I'm so sorry. I was really looking forward to being with you. I'm so tired of being alone and I really miss your cooking and your jokes and watching master chef with you and everything. I…I…miss you so much." I cried into the phone, bawling like a lost child on Christmas. But I was lost. I had felt so very lost without my aunt by my side. Every day she was gone, I questioned my decision to stay at the school that I was at. Was all this really worth it to not go to New Jersey? To go to Columbia? What if I had changed schools and succeeded?

But it was too late now. I had already made my bed and I had to lie in it.

"Auntie I'm so sorry, I'm really a terrible person."

"No, no, sweetheart, you're not a terrible person…accidents happen, and you're more often than not prone to them. So don't worry and rest easy. I'll try to come out there to you soon, okay? I'll just go back to work and save my vacation days. Don't worry honey; we'll see each other again soon. I promise."

I sniffled, nodding into the phone, a small balloon of hope swelling in my chest, suffocating the hurt and misery that I was currently stewing in. I was so hopelessly depressed; it was as if nothing could bring me out if it. I knew at that moment it was going to be a long Christmas.

"Listen honey, I can tell that you're really beat up about this. Why don't you go make you some nice hot tea and watch those Christmas movies that you love so much? Maybe a Year without Santa Clause or Rudolf is on." She suggested. I nodded into the phone, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't see me. I used the back of my hand to wipe my face, careful of the large bruise that decorated it. My aunt was quite on the other line. I'm sure that she was working through her disappointment as well as I was only quieter.

We hung up shortly after that, and I listened to her advice, making some tea, curling up in one of her oversized sweaters that she had left behind watching Christmas movie. My heart was irrevocably broken. It hurt to even breathe, and there was this steady pressure inside my head that made me tired from all of the crying. I could already tell at that point that this was going to be the worst Christmas of my entire life.

I feel asleep on the couch, curled in a ball as the movies played, pitifully trying to cheer myself up.

When I awoke the next day, my eyes were swollen shut, crusty of crying myself to sleep. I was in the bathroom, checking myself out when Michael entered.

"Hey babe! I got us some breakfast!" he called out to me. I could hear the rustling of plastic bags and the smell of cinnamon buns and donuts. Immediately my mouth had begun to water as the thought of filling it with sweet things rush to my mind.

Timidly, I left the bathroom and moved to the living room where he was setting everything up on the coffee table. I shyly peeked around the corner to look at him. He was in a happy mood. Cheerful and nice. I liked this Michael.

"Good Morning," I whispered. He turned his attention to me. The second his eyes met mines, his smile fell from his face.

"Jesus, what happened?" he asked concern evident in his voice. I shrugged sheepishly, ready to pretend that I didn't know what he was talking about. He moved to me, grabbing my hand softly, placing his on my face to get a better look. "Have you've been crying?" he asked quietly. I found it hard to breathe. He was being irresistible Michael, a Michael that could get me to do anything. I nodded lightly.

"Only a little," I said quietly, barely above a whisper.

"Come here, I'll help you with those." He stated, leading me into the kitchen. He left me at the entrance and filled up one of my pots with water placing on the stove turning the heat up high. He grabbed two tea bags and places them in the water, waiting for it to start boiling.

I watched him with great interest, wondering what he was doing. He had bought hot chocolate; there was no need for tea. A random thought that he was going to use the tea to burn me crossed my mind for a terrifying second, but it was soon banished. He wouldn't do that.

"My mom…when she cried, she had me make her some tea. She wouldn't drink it, she would use the hot tea bags to soothe her eyes, so that they wouldn't get all puffy and pink like yours are. I did this almost every day. On bad days I would do it twice a day. Mom cried a lot…it was dad's fault; he wouldn't stop saying things that hurt her feelings. He called her stuff like useless and pathetic, and ugly. He was so mean to her; he was always making her cry."

I listened with great intent. This was the most that Michael has ever truly shared with me about his past. It was incredible to know this about his background. In truth, it made me want to know more about my mysterious boyfriend. I wanted to know if we had more in common than I imagined.

"Alright, the bags should be done in a few minutes, how about we go and enjoy that hot chocolate before it turns into cold chocolate." He suggested enthusiastically.

I nodded a smile on my face. From a young age I knew that there was something wrong with me. I forgave too easily. It hurt my heart to be mad at someone for too long. I was incredibly weird. Some mistook that for me being fake and trying to butter others up. Others took it for weakness in me. I agree with the latter. I feel that my kind, forgiving nature makes me weak. It certainly made me weak when it came to Michael. It made me weak and it made me stupid. But what I had with Michael, no one could understand. I couldn't even understand and I was with him. I still don't understand even now. But then, I had no way of knowing that things would get as bad as they did. I had no way of knowing anything that I know now. So I sat next to him on the couch, snuggled up against him and let him feed me doughnuts.

I knew that our relationship was far from perfect. But I was sixteen. I had a sixteen year old heart that. I was entitled to making mistakes.

Wasn't I?

**.**

**.**

**.**

That night I had a horrible nightmare.

Or a memory, I could never really tell.

It was horrific.

There was screaming, lots of it. Angry and raw. There was bloody knuckles and face. Loud sounds, police sirens, neighbors, being pushed, shoved and huddled. Scraped knees, scraped hands. Tears, blood, spit and dirt.

Then there's the sound of the gun shot ringing loudly in the air.

That's what always woke me up. The sound of the gunshot loud and clear.

I woke drenched in sweat, my heart beating rapidly as a rush of images barrage my brain, trying to force me to remember something that I would rather forget. The downpour of red tinted images playing before my brain as if I'm watching some horror film.

I quickly shook my head to rid my mind of such horrors, trying to gather my thoughts and remind myself that I'm not the five year old girl living in Attica Ohio, in the run down on story home where violence lived.

The images wouldn't shake; they clung to me like my sweat, seeping into my brain, trying to make me relive those horrors. I fumble my way out of bed and stumble along to the bathroom, my body shivering violently against the cold, my senses assaulted by the frigid air.

I make it to the bathroom, not bothering with the light, and drown my face in cold water that rushes from the facet. Washing away the unbearably painful memories.

My breathing was rapid; my heart was pounding in my chest like a jackhammer. I was safe. I was in the present, no longer threatened by my past. But I couldn't go back to sleep. My nightmare still lingered, hanging in the back of my mind like a threat. I decided that I would go to the living room, where Michael was, and snuggle next to him.

To my utter disappointment, he wasn't there.

So I wrapped myself in a blanket and I tried to comfort myself from my nightmare, leaving the living room light on that that I wouldn't have the fear of falling prey to the nightmare again.

**.**

**.**

**.**

For the next few days, I didn't see much of Michael. He had called and told me that he was picking up some extra shifts at the garage and that he wouldn't be around much. He promised that he would be there for Christmas but I didn't hold out much hope. He had made the same promise on my birthday and on Thanksgiving. So it seemed that I would be enjoying the holiday by myself. But hopefully, we would be together for New Years.

It was early Christmas Eve morning, not even 5 am when I heard a furious pounding on my door.

I was instantly frightened, unsure of what was going on, but scared that it was Michael having another mood swing. I almost didn't' answer the door because of the pounding.

However, I did. Hesitantly, I opened to door to find a sweaty and erratic looking Ichigo.

I frowned, and tilted my head, a light blush on my face because I was wearing my blue striped men pajamas. It was snowing outside and I was cold. They were the warmest thing that I had to sleep in; besides, I wasn't expecting any company, especially Ichigo. But I digress.

"Ichigo…" I asked, sleepily of Couse, because I wasn't quite certain that I wasn't dreaming.

"I'm sorry for pounding on your door so early in the morning but…you can't spend Christmas alone, no one should. Besides, Rukia kept hounding me to make sure you were fine. Are you okay?"

I was still having trouble processing that he was here at my apartment at five in the morning talking to me while I was in unattractive sleepwear and my hair all over my head. I could only nod.

"There Rukia, she's fine." He grunted, a scowl fixing itself on his face.

"I can't see her you jerk; I want to hear that she's okay from her!" I heard a small, angry voice emanating somewhere from his being. He lifted up his phone and I realized that Rukia was on the phone. She must've called him and forced him to come over to check on me. "Orihime, why didn't you tell me that you lost your ticket, I would've stayed home and spent Christmas with you. I can visit Europe anytime. I'm so angry with you. Who spends Christmas by themselves? You know better than that. If I could I would be over there right now, giving you a noogie because you know better than that. And you lost your phone again didn't you? I've been calling you every since your aunt told me what happened. You need to keep better track of those. By the way, your Christmas present from me should be arriving in the mail today. Or at least it better because I spent good money on one day shipping and I don't want you to open it before Christmas. You better not. And I hope that you like it because-"

Ichigo pressed the end call button on his phone, giving me an irriated look. "I had to stop that. She was giving me a headache and she's been badgering me since she realized that you lost your phone to check up on you." He lifted a hand and grasped the back of his neck, looking around, not looking me directly in my eyes. It was okay though, I don't think that I could have looked him in the eyes at that time either. I was beyond embarrassed. Being berated by Rukia in front of him, not to mention my state of dress.

"Uh…ah ha ha…yeah…" there was an awkward moment.

"Hey…go put on some clothes." He told me. I looked up at him, my eyes wide. "I told you. No one should spend Christmas alone. You shouldn't even spend Christmas Eve alone. You're going to hang out with me and my family. They're kind of embarrassing, but it's better than being by yourself right?"

He looked so sincere with a dash of hopefulness peeking through his ever present scowl. How could I say no?

Besides, I was so happy. I was like a princess being rescued from my loneliness, whisked away by my prince.

Well…he wasn't exactly my prince. He was Ichigo. My friend. My friend who came at four in the morning on Christmas Eve so that I wouldn't be alone.

Regardless of titles. I was still extremely happy. So I rushed to my room and threw on a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt with a coat. However, I stopped myself once I glanced in the mirror. This was Ichigo I was going to hang out with. And his family. I didn't know how they spent their Christmas Eve, but a vision of them dressed in crimson velvet as they sit properly at the table, laughing politely and gaily filled my brain. I would obviously be out of place if I went there how I was dressed. So I changed, more in favor for a black wool skirt that had red and white lines criss crossing the skirt, a deep red long sleeve button down and paired it with my mid-calf black boots and coat with military style buttons. I wanted to put on some make up and do something with my hair, but I didn't want to make Ichigo wait too long. So I grabbed some lip gloss that I would sneak on when he wasn't looking.

I hurried and left my room, making my rounds around my apartment, making sure that everything was off and that everything was neat and okay. It was great that I did that because I found my phone. It was off which is why I never could find it. I tightly grasped it in my hand shoving it into my pocket, grabbing my purse and making my way back to Ichigo, giving him a large smile.

"Everything's fine. We can go now." I told him softly, my face burning the entire time.

"Great, let's go." We walked slowly out of my apartment complex, not saying much of anything. I knew it was because Ichigo wasn't that much of a talker. And I was much too shy to say anything.

Once we were in the car, he turned on the heat and the car light. We sat there for a moment, letting the warm air heat us up.

"Orihime?"

"Yeah?" I turned to face him, knowing that my face was red from the cold and the heat, the tip of my nose burning.

He surprised me when he softly grabbed my chin, angling my face so that he could get a better look at the bruise that was fading on my face.

He made a low sound underneath his breath; I couldn't make out what he was saying. My heart was pounding much too loudly in my own chest for me to hear anything. I held my breath, a reaction that came with Ichigo touching me.

After what felt like a lifetime he released my face, clearing his throat.

"That bruise…have you been taking care of it?" his voice was low and gruff. I could only nod, not trusting my voice at all. "It's still pretty bad. You really should be more careful with yourself." Again, I could only nod. I began to feel bad. I felt as though I was betraying Michael. A terrible guilt began to consume my heart. Here I was about to go spend Christmas with some other family and he was going to be alone for. A holiday in which no one should be alone, he was going to be alone. The guilt became a heavy weight; it started to crush my soul. It was unbearable. I couldn't take it. I had to call him.

I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. I turned it on, waiting patiently for it to start up. By this time Ichigo had put his car in gear and was on his way to his home.

When my phone was on, I noticed 13 missed calls and 56 texts all from Rukia. I'm surprised that my phone didn't explode from all of that. I didn't bother going through them, I dialed Michael's number and waited for him to pick up. He did on the third ring.

"Hello."

"Hey Mi-you…" I turned to look at Ichigo who glanced at me. I still didn't want anyone to know. Especially him. "Hey…how are you doing?"

"I see you found your phone."

"Yeah…I…I did. It was in the oven."

"How did your phone get in the oven?"

"I don't know. I actually can't remember the last time I used the oven."

"I guess it's a good thing that you have lousy cooking skills." He laughed. I gave him a nervous chuckle, throwing a glance at Ichigo.

"Yeah…otherwise I would have really had something to worry about."

"Yeah…so what's up? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah…I was just calling…to check on you make sure you're doing okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's good. Oh, man, listen sweetie, I won't be home for Christmas. Listen babe, I'm really sorry. But I have a chance to put in some really good overtime and it's just an opportunity that I can't pass up."

"Oh no, don't worry, it's fine. I'm…I'm going to be fine."

"Really? Ah, thanks babe, you're amazing. Really, you are. I'm going to get you the best Christmas present ever."

"You don't have to do that-"

"No, really. You deserve it. I'm going to give you something really nice. Okay babe?" I heard some yelling in the background. "Listen babe, I got to go. Mr. Murphy really chewing my ass. Love you babe."

"I…uh…" I faltered, looking at Ichigo who had his eyes on the road. "Love you too," I whispered quietly. We disconnected and I sat still staring straight ahead. I was afraid to look at Ichigo, in fear that he might figure out what I was doing. I know now that since I had such reserves and fears about people finding out about Michael, I probably should have ended it there. But I was a different girl then. There girl in that car with Ichigo isn't the same as the girl lying on the ground bleeding to death remembering her story.

Ichigo didn't say anything; something in which I wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad thing. Ichigo was naturally a quiet person. But I really wanted to pick his brain and make sure that something good was going through it. Make sure that he wasn't suspicious of who I was talking to. Make sure that he assumed that I was talking to my aunt or Rukia and not some abusive mood swings boyfriend.

I had to stop obsessing. It was making me feel queasy and I didn't want to get sick in Ichigo's car. Besides, I was being terrible. Here Ichigo was inviting me to spend Christmas Eve with his family and here I was obsessing over whether or not he heard me say "I love you" to my boyfriend when I should be thanking him for inviting me over.

"Um…Ichigo…Thank you…Thank you so much for inviting me over. And…and I really hope that I-"

"Stop. Please, I already know what you're going to say." He looks at me with a soft smile on his face. "You were going to apologize for being an inconvenience." He smirks, lifting up a single orange eyebrow. I shyly nod with a soft smile plastered on my face. "Don't apologize. Having you over is no trouble at all. In fact, maybe for once they'll get off my ass and I'll be able to have a relaxing day."

I nodded; a slight fluttering went on inside my chest. I bit my lower lip to contain the feeling that I was having. I looked away. My face burned. My heart raced a thousand miles per second. I shook my head to snap myself out of those feelings.

We pulled up to his home, parking in the snow plowed driveway. The lights were off. It didn't seem as though anyone was awake. Well, who would be? It was only four in the morning and it wasn't even Christmas.

"Okay, we're going to have to be quiet because they're all asleep." He told me as he turned his car off. I nodded, biting downing on my lower lip. He exited the car, quickly making his way around to open the door for me. He grabbed my hand and my heart stopped. I looked up and he placed a gloved finger to his lip to motion quietness. I nodded and followed him around to the front door where he opened it and we entered from the blistering cold to the warm sanctuary of his home. It was complete darkness. From what I assumed was years of growing up in the same home, he perfectly made his way in the dark to the living room with me trailing behind, holding on to his hand tightly. He deftly felt around for the remote and turned on the TV, lighting up the room with a small almost bluish light. Some colorful, childish cartoon filled the screen and their soft high pitched voices resounded in the room.

Ichigo surfed through the channels, looking for something to watch. I looked around, spotting all of the Christmas decorations. It seems as though a Christmas store had exploded in their home. There were various stockings, Christmas cards and mini Christmas trees all around. There were garland and Christmas lights everywhere. I smiled. It was so cute. So homey. It made my heart ache for my aunt.

However, I didn't have time to miss my aunt to much because I realized that Ichigo was still holding on to my hand. My heart sped up double time. He was still channeling surfing. I was certain that he wasn't aware that he was even holding my hand. I looked up at him, his face held concentration; he gave away no indication that he knew he was holding my hand. I looked down, blushing, certain that he could hear my heart beat.

"You want to watch A Year without Santa Claus?" he turned to me. I quickly looked up, grateful for the dim lighting so that he couldn't see my blush. I nodded and he tuned in for the program. Unfortunately, he let go of my hand and sat down on the couch. I sat down next to him, careful to keep a few inches between us. Soon, I was lost in the magic of the Christmas tale, absorbed in the children need for Santa.

When the movie was near done, Ichigo leaned over and laid his head on my shoulder. I stopped. My heart, my breath, my brain…everything stopped. By legal definition I was dead. He was actually leaning against me. I couldn't believe it.

Slowly and gently, I looked over to him. His eyes were closed and he was softly snoring. He had fallen asleep and I didn't even know it. I continue to stare at him. He was so peaceful and beautiful when he slept. His lips partially parted and warm air escaped. His long orange lashes as they lightly dusted his face. His sharp nose and jaw softened by his unconscious state.

It was so perfect…I wanted to take a picture. I would have been able if only I could dig into my pocket and pull out my phone. But I didn't want to jostle him. I didn't want him to wake. So I was content to watch him and embed the memory in my brain forever.

I don't know how long I sat there, watching him sleep. All I remember is waking up to three new faces watching me.

I gasped. I was confused and frightened. I didn't have a clue as to where I was. It took a moment to remember that I was at Ichigo's house.

"Oh…Good Morning!"

"Orihime what are you doing here?" Ichigo's younger sister Yuzu asked me.

"Oh…well Ichigo invited me over. I hope it's okay."

"Of course it's okay. But shouldn't you be in New Jersey with your aunt?"

"Umm…yeah but…you see…I lost my plane ticket and I couldn't buy a new one so-"

"She would have been forced to spend Christmas alone. Jesus, why are you guys crowding us?" Ichigo asks annoyed, his head still resting heavily on my shoulder, glaring at his family. My heart sped up, doing double over time. I held my breath, looking at him, certain that my face was tomato red.

"Well I don't care the reason. I'm psyched to have a guess for Christmas. You know what I always say, the more the merrier and especially to have a guest as beautiful as miss Inoue. You know you're always welcomed in our home, no matter the day, or holiday for that matter." Isshin, Ichigo's father, rushed out, grabbing my hand tightly in his larger one. Ichigo gave a low growl that startled me and his father, causing him to immediately release my hand.

"Sorry, it seems as though my son isn't in the mood to share. Come on girls, let's get started on breakfast." Isshin stated cheerfully, as I mulled over what he meant about Ichigo. But when he said breakfast, my brain came to a standstill. It growled loudly, my insides all twisted up and gnawing on each other with intense hunger. Ichigo's other sister, Karin, saw me and she smirked.

"It sounds as if you're hungry." I nodded shyly as best as I could with Ichigo on my shoulder. "Don't worry. We're making a ton of pancakes. All different flavors. I'm sure we can fill even you up." She laughed referring my seemingly bottomless stomach.

"Okay, we'll see." I laughed grasping the back of my neck. Ichigo shifted and lifted himself off of my shoulder. I felt cold from the lack of heat his body was giving off; however, he still sat close to me where our bodies were touching. My face was still burning, I was certain that it was on fire. He stretched and looked around, a scowl on his face.

It was funny. Why was Ichigo scowling when he was surrounding by family and food and Christmas? I found this utterly laughable and a giggle escaped me. I quickly tried to cover my mouth, but it was too late. He had heard me already.

He cocked his head so that he was facing me, one orange eyebrow lifted impossibly high. My face turned an even darker shade of red as I looked away from him.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" I replied quickly before he even had a chance to finish his question.

"Why did you laugh?"

"I didn't laugh."

"You did."

"No I didn't. Are you feeling well Ichigo? I think you're starting to hear things."

"Yeah, I head something and it came from you?"

"How about…we go see what your family is cooking, it smells pretty delicious."

"Don't try to change to subject."

I, unhappily and resentfully, remove myself from Ichigo. He frowns, a suspicious look on his face. He opens his mouth to speak but there's a knock on the door.

"Who the hell are here at…8 in the morning?"

"Ichigo get the door! It seems as though the rest of the Kurosaki clan is here early!" His dad yelled from the kitchen.

"What do you mean by that old man?" Ichigo asks suspiciously.

"You're cousins are here."

"What the fuck? It isn't even Christmas, why are they here?"

"Don't you use that tone it's Christmas!"

"Eve! It's Christmas Eve, and I thought that we were going to have a quiet Christmas for once. You promised!"

"And we are, so the family is just going to celebrate it with us earlier this year and go home earlier."

"You know that when we discussed this, this is not what I had in mind!" Ichigo growled.

"Well then you should have made yourself more clear. It would've made all the difference."

"Really?"

"No, but hey, at least I would have known to expect this attitude from you."

"I'll give you something that you won't expect old man."

"Not now big brother. We have guested waiting and you don't want to fight dad in front of Orihime do you?" Yuzu piped in.

Ichigo groaned, palming his face. Languidly he pulled himself up from the couch and made his way to the door, depression and a scowl settling itself firmly on his face. He stood at the door, taking a deep breath, turning to face me.

"I'm really sorry for dragging you into this Orihime." He sighed before he pulled open the door to allow his family to enter.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Ichigo's family was…to say the least, vastly entertaining. Spending the day with them was very…fun. I really enjoyed myself. A constant question that rattled around the air was "Ichigo! How on earth did you score a babe like this?!" and "What are you doing with Ichigo?" no matter how many times we told them we were only friends, they didn't seem to believe us. It got so bad to the point where Ichigo's face, ears and neck were coated in a fine layer of red and he began sputtering incoherently.

Finally around 11 at night, his family packed up and left. We were saying goodbye to the last of them when Ichigo asked me to go on a walk with him to the park. I readily agreed because I love spending time with Ichigo and this day alone was the most I've ever spent with him. Honestly, it was addictive and shamefully, Michael never even crossed my mind once.

I bundled up in my red coat and scarf. However, I goofed and I lost my black gloves, so my hands were freezing the entire walk to the park. I shoved them in my pockets for some solace, but I didn't get much.

"I'm sorry to bring you into the cold Orihime, but I just had to get away from all of that. Really, my day and his kin are so annoying. If I could have gotten away from them sooner, I would have."

"Really? Ichigo, your family is great. They're perfectly amazing. This was a great Christmas eve, much, much, much better than spending it with myself." I smiled up at him. But then thoughts of my aunt came rushing to the fore front of my mind and my smile fell. I looked away from him, my throat tightened and tears burned in my eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful."

"No, it's not that. It's just…here I am having a…more than wonderful time and my aunt…she's…she's all alone on Christmas Eve, just like I would have been if you hadn't rescued me." I sniffled.

"Well…I wouldn't exactly call it rescue…" Ichigo mumbled, but I had already dug into my pocket and pulled out my phone. It seems as though I had a few messages from my aunt. They all stated that she was with a friend for Christmas and that she was happy that I was among friends as well.

I released a gush of air, wondering how she would know that I was spending Christmas with Ichigo. I wanted to call her, but it would have been rude to talk on the phone when Ichigo was right beside me. So I would call her on Christmas and wish her the merriest Christmas ever. I replaced my phone in my pocket, a smile on my face, my teeth chattering only slightly.

"Yo…what happened to your gloves?" Ichigo asked, halting in his spot.

"Oh!" I looked down at my pink fingers. "I must have misplaced them at your house. Don't worry, I'm fine." I said, waving it off, like it didn't matter.

He sighed and took off his gloves, and quickly, before I could even protest, he grabbed my hands and slipped the oversized gloves on to my hands. I had to admit, they felt pretty spectacular. They were insanely warm and soft.

Ichigo grasped my hand tightly and shoved his free hand in his pocket. "There, now if you just hold on to my hand, it won't be cold." I blushed, but I nodded. Making sure to hold onto his hand so that not a smidgen of cold air would touch his hand.

We walked around for a few more minutes in total and complete utter silence before we made our way back to his home. He stopped at the doorstep, looking at his watch.

"Man, it's only a few minutes until Christmas. The girls must be asleep right now and I bet the old man is in his room wrapping presents so he can pretend he's Santa Claus. I swear to God if he watches me while I sleep, I'm going to beat in right in the head and ass."

"I think it's cute. I don't think my dad ever bought me anything for Christmas." I frowned, blinking a few times. I didn't know where that came from. I haven't thought about my family in years, let alone my father. I was honestly disturbed by the confession.

"Hey look, mistletoe."

"A what?"

I looked up at Ichigo, pulled away from my thoughts to see him leaning gently towards me. My eyes widened to the size of saucers and my heart began to pound faster than it's ever pounded in my entire life. I was floored. He was coming at me and there wasn't anything that I could do. I'm not all that certain that I wanted to do anything, other than just stand there and let him kiss.

At that moment I wasn't thinking about Michael. I wasn't thinking about my aunt. I wasn't thinking about the cold. I wasn't thinking about Christmas. I wasn't thinking about Columbia.

The only thing I was thinking about was Ichigo, and how his lips were just seconds away from mines. I closed my eyes awaiting the touch of his kiss, hoping and praying that it was as sweet and tender as I had always hoped.

I felt his surprising hot lip press gently and firmly against my nose.

There was this indescribable, incredible warmth that radiated from my nose throughout the rest of my body.

All too quickly he pulled away.

My head was swarming; there was a white noise in my ears. I could hear anything and breathing was becoming a problem.

"Merry Christmas Orihime."

* * *

Next UP: New Years.


	7. New Years

**I know it's been awhile. But I'm in the middle of updating all my stories. So please Read, Review and Enjoy. Hopefully, I can do another update of a different story tonight.**

* * *

It was the day before New Year's Eve. The day after Christmas, I quickly left Ichigo's family because, to be honest, I was scared. I was afraid that Michael would find out what I was doing and go off. I didn't want Ichigo to get hurt and I didn't want to bring my mess into his home. I came up with some lame excuse about needing to clean my house so that it would be fresh for the New Year.

When I got home, I realized that it wasn't such a lame excuse after all. That I really did need to clean my apartment, it was quite dirty. So I spent the days cleaning. Like doing some really deep cleaning.

But, like I was saying, it was the day before New Year 's Eve, Michael came bustling through the door, an arm full of gifts and a large smile on his face. His long hair, wild and in his flushed face.

"Yo Hime, Ho, ho, ho, look what Santa brought," he laughed. I wiped the sweat from my brow, and give him a small smile. In truth I wasn't very happy with him. Because, I haven't seen him since before I went to Ichigo's. It's been a week. A whole week since I saw him and he shows up, arm full of gifts and a smile as if it makes everything alright. It didn't. If anything, it made me angry. But I didn't know how to handle anger; it was a foreign concept with me. So I just shoved it aside and smiled.

"Hey, Michael, you're here." I got up and dusted myself off and walked over to give him a hug, trying to conceal my feelings.

"Yes, I told you that I would be. And look, I cleaned up. I got you a shitload of stuff, really. You're going to love everything."

I smiled tightly, looking him in his happy grey eyes. I tried to be happy for him, truly I did. But in truth I wanted to cry and yell.

"Aren't you excited?" he said, frowning. I swallowed thickly and smiled at him. it felt fake to my own face, but it fooled him. He relaxed and a huge grin took ahold of his face. "Come on, come open the presents."

"Wait; let me grab your presents,"

"No, my stuff can wait. I really want you to open yours." He was so happy and childlike, almost like a puppy. So I smiled and I allowed myself to be happy and excited as he was. I sat next to him on the couch as he shoved the presents in my arms. There was so many. "Here, open this one, I think that you'll love this one most of all." He said excitedly.

He gave me a black, velvet box that was quite large. Already, I knew that it would contain a necklace. But the box was so fancy, I was afraid that it the gift inside would be far too expensive.

Slowly, I opened the box and I was correct, the necklace was of pure silver, shiny with little diamonds encrusted on the chain. And in the middle there dangled a large heart locket. I looked up at him, my eyes wide. It was such an expensive gift; I didn't feel comfortable accepting it.

"Go ahead, open it," he urged me. Slowly, I complied. I lifted the surprisingly light piece of jewelry out of the beautiful box, and opened the locket.

I gasped.

Inside the locket was a picture of my aunt and me when I was 13. A picture that I kept in my wallet. We had went to Disneyland for spring break and we both wore the little hats with mickey mouse ears. On the opposite side was a picture of my brother and me. A picture that I kept hidden in my wallet. My brother was 14 and I was 4. He had a small smile on his face and his arms wrapped around me.

A tear fell out of my eye and fell onto the locket. Another one and another one. They just kept falling, continuously. My brother…my aunt…I miss these people so much. I just love them so much…I wished that…I just really wanted to see them again.

"I uh…found those in your wallet a few weeks back. You know how you're always losing it, so I thought that I would put them some place that would be hard to lose. I know that I messed up when I ripped up your ticket, and I know how much you miss your aunt. So now, you can see her whenever you want."

I looked up at him, so much love in my heart, so much emotion in my heart…

I kissed him.

I kissed him hard.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me. I drunk him in as he leaned into me, knocking the presents off the couch as he gently pushed me down against the couch, his hands roaming my body, pulling him closer to me.

His hands went to the zipper of my pants and loosened them. I unbutton his coat and push it off his shoulders.

Our hands and limbs frantically explore one another as we take off our clothes, until we're only left in our underwear. That's when I become scared and stiff.

He kissed me everywhere, on my face, my mouth, my chest, my stomach. I pull away from him.

"Babe…what's going on?" he pants, his face red. I can see the need and the lust clear in his eyes.

"No…I can't…Michael…I'm scared."

"Scared of what? I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know, it's just…I'm a virgin Michael…I don't think that I'm ready for this."

"Oh trust me babe, you're ready for this."

"No, just…please Michael. I don't want to."

"Come on Orihime…we've been together for months now. I think we're ready for this. This is the longest I've ever waited for anyone. I love you, I just want to prove to you how much I love you. Please, if you love me, you'll do this for me."

"I do love you Michael. Honest, it's just that…"

"What…that you don't love me like I love you!" he accuses me. The accusation hurts. It hurts because I think it's true…and I don't want it to be.

"I do love you." I tell him quietly.

"Then prove it."

Shaking, I once more wrap my arms around him and pull him to me. He kisses me and places his hand on my thigh, stroking the flesh. He comes closer and closer to my underwear until he reaches it. My heart freezes and my nerves jumble. I didn't want to do it yet, but I also wasn't ready to lose Michael. Not when I felt so vulnerable. So I just closed my eyes and poured myself into him as he slid my underwear down my body.

I had never felt so exposed.

It hurt.

It was very painful and he was none too gentle.

Thankfully, it didn't last for very long.

But through out all of it, he kept telling me how much he loved me and how much he needed me. He told me that he wanted to marry me and that he loved me so much.

Towards the end of it all, I believed him.

**.**

**.**

**.**

New years eve during the night, I decided that I would go to a party with Michael. It was a party that a friend of his was throwing, so I was happy to go with him, knowing that all of my friends and everyone from school would be at Rukia's legendary party that she throws every year.

To be honest, I had no idea how I even gotten out of it. We've only seen each other once since she got back from Europe and that was at the mall. She was so busy getting ready for her party, that she really didn't have time to pout that I wasn't going to hers.

So naturally, when we made it to this dark, dank underground New Year's party that Michael's friend was holding, I didn't know anyone. But it didn't matter. Michael didn't leave me out of his sight for even a moment. For that I was very grateful because I didn't like the looks that I was receiving from his friends.

Nonetheless however, I enjoyed myself. Ever since the night I lost my virginity to him, we had become closer. He held onto me longer, always whispered into my ear, told me that he loved me constantly. Never in my life had I ever felt so special.

Although, deep inside me, it felt as though something was missing. Like a vital part of me was stolen. Taken without my permission, something that I would never again be able to regain. I didn't feel whole.

But I shoved those feelings aside and concentrated whole heartedly on Michael. Because I didn't like feeling empty inside. I didn't like feeling hollow.

"Babe come on, it's time for the count down." Michael told me, pulling me outside to where everyone was counting down so that we could see the fireworks.

Everyone poured out into the streets, the chatter grew loud as the countdown began.

"60, 59, 58, 58.."

"Orihime?" I turned, my blood running cold.

"Rukia?"

"57, 56, 55, 54, 53,"

"What are you doing here? I thought you said that you were staying in?"

"52, 51, 50, 49, 48, 47, 46,"

"Oh yeah, the thing is…I'm really sorry Rukia. I don't know why I lied."

"45, 44, 43, 42, 41, 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31…"

"If you wanted to go someplace else, that's all youhad to say. Although I have to say that I'm surprised that you would lie to me. Or that you would rather spend your new years with this motley crew. Who do you know that's here?"

"30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11…"

"Oh well, I actually should go and find them."

"Orihime!"

"Ichigo!" his eyes lights up when he sees me.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were staying home?" he smiled.

"10, 9, 8…"

"Oh well you see…"

"7,6,5.."

"Orihime!"

"4, 3,"

"Michael…"

"2, 1"

"Happy New Year's babe." He leaned down and covered my mouth with his, tangling his hands into my hair as he pulled me close and rand his other hand down my back.

"HAPPY NEW YEARS!" everyone cheered.

* * *

Questions, comments, and/or Concerns?


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Bleach, Hurt-Comfort, Romance