Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers 1. Skye and Clint Barton

**If you want a terrifying look into my psyche and an in depth background of this series of oneshots you should read (the admittedly long and ****rambly) author's note on my profile page.**

**The TL;DR version is as follows: this is a serious of tentatively connected oneshots based in the same AU. They happen in a vague time period leading up to the Avengers movie (Skye is about 6) but are not necessarily in chronological order. For more info on this characterisation of Skye head on over to my other fic 'Plug it in and change the world (You are my electric girl)'. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of the majesty that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe or any of its awesome affiliations. Just saying.**

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S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, Undisclosed Location

Skye peered down through the air vent at the man Uncle Nicky had called 'Hawkeye'. He was standing on the top level of the Helicarrier looking down into the atrium-like area where many of the techs were working whilst under the supervision of Agent Maria Hill. From his vantage point you could see the walkways of all the levels that exited out into the open area, all those working down below and out the front windows onto the landing area filled with quinjets, helicopters and the people attending them. He was unaware however that he himself was under observation.

A sneaky little girl had been exploring the air ducts when she happened to look down through a vent to see Barton demonstrating why they called him 'Hawkeye'. Clint started to feel a prickling on the back of his neck accompanied by the sensation that he was being watched. He scanned his surroundings trying to find the perpetrator whilst she stifled her giggles behind her cupped hands above him.

Eventually, Skye gave in to her desire to cause mischief. "Psst, Mr. Birdman!"

Clint swung around to stare at the solid wall behind him in confusion.

In an eerie voice she called out, "I _see you_ Mr. Birdman."

Skye couldn't hold in her giggles this time and gave herself away. Clint looked up and saw an air vent and behind it a small cherubic face, eyes alight with impishness. To say he was confused would be an understatement. Deciding to investigate, he unscrewed the vent and pried it down to reveal a little dark-haired girl with big brown eyes staring down at him curiously.

"Whatcha doin' up here?" she inquired of him.

Clint was at a loss. There was a kid on the Helicarrier. There was a kid in the air ducts of the Helicarrier. How on earth did she get in there?

"What's your name, sweetheart?"

"AC said I shouldn't tell strangers my name," she informed him pertinently.

"Yeah? I'm pretty sure he told you not to talk to them too."

She seemed to think about this for a second before shrugging in agreement. "Well, I know your name so I guess you're not really a stranger," He wasn't sure he followed her logic but he was more interested in how she knew who he was.

"How do you know my name? And what are you doing up there anyway?"

"I read your story, silly," she told him as if it was obvious.

Clint almost seemed hesitant to ask, "My story?"

"Sure, yous got a book with your picture in it and everything!"

This was not clearing the situation up at all.

"Well, if you know my name can I know yours?"

"I'm Skye. You should ask Uncle Nicky to lets you read my story. It's got lots of pretty pictures in there, I bet it's a really good bedtime story. What's your favourite bedtime story? I like Goldilocks and the Three Bears but I don't really like porridge, so… hey! Do you wanna play hide and seek with me? I'm really good! Aunty Maria says it's cos I'm small and I can squish in lots of places I shouldn't. You don't look so squishy, or small, but yous was _reeeaaal_ quite for a long time so I bet you could be pretty good if you practice."

Sometime during this explosion of chatter he managed to discern that she had some connection to whom he presumed was Hill and _*snicker*_ Fury. You can bet he was never going to let him live that down - _'Uncle Nicky'_ indeed.

"You know, we should probably find your parents before they get worried."

"Oh I don't gots none silly!"

She seemed remarkably blasé about informing him she was an orphan. If he didn't already know it, he was pretty sure this kid was on the weird side.

"Well, how about you come down from there and we can go find your Aunty Maria?"

Skye seemed to consider this option, "Do you promise to play hide and seek with me later?" she bargained.

Clint couldn't help but be charmed by her effervescent personality. "Sure kid, we can play hide and seek later if you promise to come down now."

With the grave seriousness of a six year old she leaned her arm through the vent with a crooked pinky extended, "Do you pinky swear?"

Clint laughed slightly before completing the pact all the while thinking that Nat would never believe this if she saw it.

Almost before he could brace himself Skye dropped herself through the hatch crying, "Catch!"

He caught her about a millimetre from the ground and felt as if his heart had dropped even further. "Jesus kid!" he scolded, "Give us some warning next time!"

Skye just giggled like he'd said something hilarious and patted his cheek. She took his calloused hand in her small one and started to drag him down to the atrium, excited to show him all the 'pooters', which he took to mean '_com_puters'.

Once they got down there he spotted Maria standing straight and tall in front of a bank of computers calling out instructions to her minions. Skye put her index finger against her lips and made a shushing sound whilst hiding behind Clint.

He grinned slightly before addressing the agent with her back towards him. He cleared his throat to get her attention and when she turned around he informed her, "I believe I found something of yours."

The look of confusion on her face cleared when Skye burst from out behind him with a shouted, "Boo!"

Maria smiled fondly down at the girl who pointed at her and cried, "I gotcha! Almost as good as scaring Mr. Birdman, here."

Maria looked at Barton and raised her eyebrow mockingly.

He spluttered out a denial, "I was not scared! Not that anyone could blame me, finding her in the air ducts! It's not like there's an over-abundance of kids on the Helicarrier."

Skye let out a soft, "Uh oh" when she saw the expression on her Aunt's face.

She looked down at her toes with her shoulders hunched, scuffing her shoe against the floor as she listened to her Aunt scold her.

"How many times have I told you not to climb around in those things? They're dirty and unsafe and you could be seriously hurt!"

Skye looked up at her with big, tear-filled eyes, "I just wanted to play. No one here wants to play with me. But Mr. Birdman, he wasn't doin' nothing and he said he'd play hide and seek with me. _Please,_" she begged plaintively.

Maria looked at Barton and mouthed the word _'Birdman?'_ in question. Clint shrugged, nonplussed at the origin of the name although he thought it probably had to do with her seeing the word hawk in his 'story'.

Before the conversation could continue Director Fury entered with a barked, "What's the status report?" This was all he could get out however, before a flying whirlwind of long, dark hair and enthusiasm launched herself at him with a squealed, "Uncle Nicky!"

Clint snorted and covered his grin with his hand trying to document everything about this moment to recount to Nat later.

Fury glared at Barton, almost daring him to say something. His menacing look turned slightly softer when he looked down at Skye. "Why aren't you in lessons, young lady?"

Skye shrugged and looked down at her toes again contritely. "I was bored," she admitted softly, "So I escaped through the air ducks."

Fury's face softened further in amusement before he sighed and held his hand out to the little girl. "Come on, you know you have to finish your lessons before you play games."

Skye turned her cherubic little face upwards, eyes widening in beseechment, "Can't I stay here and help you? I'll be really quiet," she whispered the last part.

Fury looked amused but unbudging, "Nope, you had your chance last time but you drew pictures all over my files."

"Well, you shouldn't have left them all over your desk. And you should make them other colours. White is boring. I was making them pretty for you," her tone turned imploring, "didn't you like them?"

"I know what you're doing and it won't work," Fury informed the little girl before pointing his finger towards the door and directing her, "Out."

"Oh man!" Skye huffed before trudging out the door and down the corridor.

Clint grinned in amusement. "Cute kid you got there."

Fury muttered something about her being, "… a pain in my backside, looking all cute and innocent," while he stormed from the room in the direction of his office.


	2. Skye and Bruce Banner

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of the majesty that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe or any of its awesome affiliations. Just saying.**

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S.H.I.E.L.D. Medical Facility, Undisclosed Location

Bruce just wanted to be left alone. He wanted to be left in peace where he could help people and not get caught up in the stress of everyday life so he could avoid turning into the _other guy_. Alas, with S.H.I.E.L.D. there was no such luck. They'd found him, discovered his hiding place and dragged him back into the melee. This time it was an agent by the name of Coulson who came to him on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. but with a personal request, he said his adoptive daughter might have come into contact with gamma radiation and they needed someone to take a look at her. So they came to him, the forefront of gamma radiation research, and he didn't have the heart to say no on the off chance that she had indeed been affected. And that brought him to here, an unspecified S.H.I.E.L.D. medical facility in the middle of nowhere.

After dropping his bags off in his assigned quarters they headed straight for the lab where Coulson said Skye would be waiting for them.

Sitting on a medical bed before them was a little dark-haired girl of about six years old swinging her legs back and forth and humming to herself.

Coulson moved forward to start the introductions, "Skye - "

"I didn't do nothing!" she quickly interjected.

Coulson narrowed his eyes in question whilst Bruce tried to stifle a smile behind him.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Then why do you sound guilty?"

"I don't sound anything. Maybe you should get your ears checked AC, you might be going deaf. I heard that's what happens when you get old." She said it with such an innocent expression on her face it was hard to tell if she was poking fun or not.

Coulson continued to stare at her suspiciously. Skye widened her eyes slightly, tilting her head up to look into his face while declaring, "I missed you lots AC. You were gone forever! I thought you were never coming back! Did you miss me?"

He smiled at her and despite being clued in to her tactics, he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I missed you too, honey. Did you behave while I was gone?"

Skye smiled up at him winsomely and drew an imaginary halo above her head whilst declaring, "Don't I always?"

Coulson chuckled and Bruce got the feeling this was an inside joke.

This was when Skye noticed that they were not alone. She peered over Coulson's shoulder at the new face she'd never seen before, seeming to assess him.

Bruce looked into her dark eyes and for a moment it seemed as if he was looking into an abyss, teetering forward into the depths of the universe held within her brown orbs. She blinked and broke the connection. Bruce shook his head to rid himself of the unsettling sensation and looked at Coulson whose face bore an understanding expression as if this was a normal reaction upon first meeting the little girl. He was intrigued, there was definitely something else going on here besides possible gamma radiation contamination.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Skye's chirpy greeting of, "Well howdy, partner!"

Coulson sighed and added in an undertone to Bruce, "Sorry, she just watched Toy Story."

Bruce found the sharp contrasts in character confounding; from normal six year old to wise sage back to normal six year old. This was going to take some getting used to apparently.

He decided to just go with it for now and see where it led. "Hello Skye, my name's Bruce."

Her giggle cut him off. He looked at her confused before she responded in a sing-song voice with, "Fish are friends, not food!" before breaking down into peals of laughter, clutching her stomach. Bruce and Coulson looked at each other in bewilderment before shrugging, neither of them knowing what the little girl was talking about.

After Skye's giggles faded Bruce continued, "I'm a scientist. I was hoping you could help me out with some experiments today?"

Skye's face brightened. "Can we blow stuff up?" she asked excitedly.

Bruce chuckled. "Sorry, nothing quite that exciting today."

Skye pouted a little which was hard to resist.

"I did bring this pretty cool machine though that can take a scan of your body and show you a picture of your insides. Would you like to have a go at that?"

Her eyes lit up with an almost unholy glee. "Awesome," she whispered in wonder.

They set up the machine and played around with it for a while, Bruce using it at times to distract her from other tests he was running. They were reaching the end of the gamut of tests he wanted to run and were just starting to pack up when Coulson's phone rang.

He looked at the caller ID and tensed slightly. The longer he listened to whoever was on the other end of the line, the more agitated he became. Finally he ended the call with a muttered, "Affirmative. I'll be right there."

Bruce looked at him worriedly and Coulson tried to project a calm facade so as not to worry Skye. He took Bruce by the arm and led him slightly away from Skye to inform him that threats against the little girl had managed to infiltrate the building and he was going to go meet up with the other agents to head them off. Coulson looked at him imploringly, "I know you dislike violence and I support that. But these men who are coming for Skye will do more violent things to her than you can possibly imagine. I'm hoping we can stop the threat before it gets this far, but I'm asking you to please stay here with her and be her last protection."

Bruce didn't really have to think about it, not that there was much of a choice anyway. He nodded to Coulson reassuringly and told him that he'd stay here with the little girl.

The agent nodded his thanks and turned and knelt in front of Skye who was studying a picture of her brain with fascinated disgust. "Honey, I need to go stop some bad guys real quick. You stay here with Bruce and he'll keep you safe, okay?"

Skye looked up at him worriedly, "You'll come back, right AC?"

"Of course," he promised the little girl with a kiss on the forehead in goodbye.

Bruce led the girl towards the desk where he laid out some of the pictures they'd taken and some of the results of the other tests. He started to explain what some of the readings meant and during the conversation discovered that this little girl was ridiculously intelligent. When he asked her where she learned some of these things she informed him she helps 'Jemma' and 'Fitz' out in the lab sometimes. He presumed these were friends of hers, most likely scientists with S.H.I.E.L.D. He was making a note to himself to mention her advanced intellect to Coulson when they heard the shouting and gunshots close by.

He pushed Skye behind him away from the threat and into a corner in front of which he took a protective stance. He tried to keep calm and keep the other guy repressed; big breath in, big breath out, repeat…

They could hear gunshots and grunts of pain and underneath that the sound of people stomping towards the room they were trapped in. The more Skye whimpered and shook in fear, the more the other guy wanted to come out. All he could think was _'protect, protect'_. Normally the other guy was triggered by anger and fuelled by rage, a bloodthirsty monster that thrived on destruction and not much else. It was a disconcerting sensation to feel any emotion from him that wasn't _'smash,'_ yet it seemed that something about the little girl called to the other guy. This probably scared Bruce more than anything.

The door was flung open violently and Skye squeaked in fear behind him, he was holding on to the other guy with a tenuous grip. As soon as the assailants started shooting at them his grasp on the other guy slipped and with a resounding roar he tore through.

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Coulson, Hill and Fury rushed into the room followed closely by Romanoff and Barton.

They looked around the destroyed lab and saw the massacre that the Hulk had ravaged.

All the men were dead.

Said Hulk was currently standing in the corner with his back facing them.

Coulson called out frantically, "Skye! Skye, where are you?"

They heard her voice coming from the same corner of the lab that the Hulk was currently occupying and all of their faces blanched in dread.

"Hey big guy, turn around will ya so I can see AC."

Coulson fairly trembled with worry for Skye. "Honey, I want you to be really still and quiet, okay?"

The Hulk turned to face the rest of the room and there nestled in his gigantic green hand was a completely unfazed Skye. The Hulk cradled the small girl to his chest and stroked her head delicately with his ginormous finger, almost like you would a kitten. The adults all froze in panic not knowing the best way to handle this situation without causing further bloodshed. Fury approached slowly to try and get Skye out of danger but as he neared the pair the big green guy turned to him and growled menacingly. Fury quickly backed off and they all exchanged glances and hand signals trying to formulate a plan when they were interrupted by giggles coming from the corner.

They turned to look at the duo only to see Skye with her hands on the Hulk's face squishing his expression into amusing contortions. "Hey, you're really green. Did you know green's my favourite colour?"

At this point she poked her index finger into the tip of his nose and pushed it up to resemble a pig snout. She giggled before looking up his nose and informing him matter-of-factly that, "Hey mister, you gots lotsa boogers. You oughta blow your nose."

Upon hearing this Coulson looked to the heavens as if in request for guidance on how to deal with his wayward ward whilst Hill looked as if she were about to faint. Barton and Romanoff exchanged sly glances, trying not to laugh as Fury just stood there looking vexed.

"You know who you remind me of? The BFG. That stands for Big Friendly Giant, FYI. And that means For Your Information. According to May it's sassy though so you probably shouldn't say that. Unless you wanna be sassy, if you do you should definitely start there. Hey, how come your pants stayed on? You're not wearing any clothes, are you cold? Maybe that's why you got boogers -"

Coulson cut her off before she could keep going, "Honey, he doesn't talk."

"You don't talk? Why not? Don't you got nothing to say? One time I had the flu and I lost my voice and it was _awful_ and it hurt lots but I got to eat ice-cream so that was cool. Do you like ice-cream? I know where Aunt Maria keeps her secret stash. I bet if I asked nicely and told her you was sick she'd let us have some. Wouldn't you Aunt Maria?" This last bit directed to Agent Hill who looked decidedly nonplussed. An expression reflected by the Hulk.

Romanoff suggested they try and get the Hulk to fall asleep as this should turn him back into Dr. Banner. "небо, we need to get the nice green giant to go to sleep, maybe you could stop talking for a little bit?"

Skye looked at the Hulk sympathetically, "Oh, yous tired? Why didn't you say? Sit down, sit down," she directed him. The Hulk slowly sat down in the corner but unfortunately didn't let go of Skye, instead choosing to curl up around her. She threw her arms as far around his big neck as she could, squeezing tight in a hug whilst she started to sing her favourite lullaby, "Twinkle, twinkle, little star…"

The adults in the room waited with bated breath until they saw both the green giant and the little girl start to relax into sleep, Skye's voice drifting off as she slipped into slumber.

It was such an incongruous sight and yet quite touching.

The flash of a camera jolted them out of their musings to turn and look questioningly at Clint.

"What? You really think I'm not going to document this historic moment for future blackmail purposes?"

They all looked back at the sight before them before they offhandedly shrugged in agreement.

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**небо = 'sky' in Russian, according to google translate. And we all know google translate is never wrong, right?**

**Secondary Disclaimer: I own nothing of the infallible Disney empire. Wish that it were *sigh*. Also, the BFG belongs to Roald Dahl. **


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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers, Family, Humor