Legend of Zelda 1. 1984

1984  
By Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
Intro to the whole album "1984".  
  
~~~  
  
(instrumental to fade out)  
  
  
~~~ 


	2. Jump

Jump  
By Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
The first real parody on my parody album "1984", which parodies the songs on the album "1984", by Van Halen. This parody, of the song "Jump", is about Link talking with people after he's become an adult. It's not that great, but considering how minimal the lyrics were I had to work with, I think I handled it pretty well.  
  
Sung by Link, of course.  
  
~~~  
  
(hypnotic synthisizer starts up)  
  
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-ow!  
  
I get up, and nothing gets me down!  
I've got it tough, I've fought the toughest around.  
And I know, baby, just how you feel.  
You've got to roll with the punches to help all that's real.  
  
Oh can't you see me standing here?  
I've got my back against the wall, fightin' fiends.  
I ain't the worst that you've seen.  
Oh can't you see what I mean?  
  
Might as well jump. Jump!   
Might as well jump.  
Go ahead, jump. Jump!  
Oh, it ain't a stunt.  
  
Aaa-ohh, hey you! How said that?  
Ladies, how you been?  
You say you don't know me, you won't know,  
Until it begins.  
  
Well can't you see me standing here?  
I've got my back against the wall, fightin' fiends.  
I ain't the worst that you've seen.   
Oh can't you see what I mean?  
  
Might as well jump. Jump!  
Go ahead, jump.  
Might as well jump. Jump!  
Oh, it ain't a stunt.   
  
(guitar solo)  
  
(keyboard solo)  
  
Might as well jump. Jump!  
Go ahead, jump.  
Might as well jump. Jump!  
Oh, it ain't a stunt. 


	3. Ganondorf

Ganondorf  
By Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
Parody of "Panama", by Van Halen. Sung by Ganondorf.  
  
The part in quotes is spoken.  
  
~~~  
  
Oh yeah! Uh-huh!  
  
Jumpin', what's that sound?  
Here I come, full blast and hot crown!  
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue!  
Model citizen, zero discipline!  
  
Don't you know I've got the world with me?   
You'l lose it in your turn.  
I'm the one!  
  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf!  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf!  
  
Ain't nothin' like it, the power machine.  
Got the feel for the world, keep the moving parts clean!  
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue!  
You got an on-ramp comin' through world, hoo!   
  
Don't you know I've got the world with me?   
You'l lose it in your turn.  
I'm the one!  
  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf!  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf-oh-oh-oh-oh!  
  
(instrumental)  
  
"Yeah, I'm runnin' a little bit hot tonight. I can barely see the world, with this comin' off me. Ahhhh, reach down, to the world, close my fist then..."  
  
So blinding, I'm flying!   
Right behind the rear-view mirror now!  
Got the feeling, and I'm steering!  
Pistons screaming, ain't no stopping noooooooooow!  
  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf!  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf-oh-oh-oh-oh!  
Ganondorf! Ganondorf-oh-oh-oh-oh!  
  
Ganondorf! 


	4. Drop Dead Girl

Drop Dead Girl  
By Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
Parody of "Drop Dead Legs", by Van Halen. This could be directed to any one of the girls in the Legend of Zelda series.  
  
Sung by Link.  
  
~~~  
  
(guitar riff starts up)  
  
Drop dead girl, pretty smile,  
Hurts my head, got me wild!   
Dig that steam, giant butt!   
Makes me scream!  
  
I get nuh-nuh-nothing but the hots over you!  
And nothing else could ever do!  
  
I know that I want it!  
I know what it is.   
I know that I want it, baby!   
But when the night is through, will I still be loving you?   
  
Dig her moves, real style!   
I'm so loose, gettin' wild!  
Send me round, loop-de-loop!  
Like cold ice, I'm her fool.   
  
Oh-so cool, real heavy!  
Got me fooled, gettin' ready.  
  
Oooooooh! Aw, baby!  
  
I know that I want it!  
I know what it is.   
I know that I want it, baby!   
But when the night is through, will I still be loving you?   
  
(guitar solo) 


	5. Hot For Zelda

Hot For Zelda  
A Parody by Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
  
This is a parody of the song "Hot for Teacher", by Van Halen. This is sung by Link.  
  
Everything in quotes is spoken.  
  
~~~  
  
(Intro)  
  
"Oh wow, man!"   
"Wait a second man. I'm just helpin' her because she's desparate!"  
"My butt, man!"  
  
Z-Z-Zelda stop that pleadin', Zelda don't you see?  
I'm more than glad to be your fool!   
Maybe I should go to hell! But I'm doin' well,   
Zelda needs my help to stop that dude!  
  
I'm sure that if I die that I will not be missed!  
But then my problems were never quite like this!   
  
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad!  
I'm hot for Zelda.  
I got it bad, so bad!  
I'm hot for Zelda.  
  
"Hey, I know you need me, I'm here! I brought my _sword_! Gimme something to use it on, man!"  
  
I heard about your visions, but visions are so cold!  
I know about this school.  
Little girl from Royal Lane, how did you get so bold?   
How did you know that golden rule?  
  
I'm sure that if I die that I will not be missed!  
But then my problems were never quite like this!   
  
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad!  
I'm hot for Zelda.  
I got it bad, so bad!  
I'm hot for Zelda.  
  
(guitar solo)   
  
"Oh man, she threw me a piece of porcelain!"  
"I don't _feel_ crazy..."  
"Class dimissed!!!!"  
  
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad!  
I'm hot for Zelda.  
Oh I'm so hot!  
Oh my god!  
  
  
~~~ 


	6. I'll Wait

I'll Wait  
By Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
This is a parody of "I'll Wait", by Van Halen, obviously.  
  
This could be sung by Zelda, Malon, Ruto, Nabooru, or any other girl who is paired with Link. Take your pick.  
  
~~~  
  
(Creepy synthisizer starts up)  
  
You've got me captured, I'm under your spell.  
They said I'd never learn.  
I have your picture, yes I know it well.   
Another worldis turned.  
  
Are you for real? It's so hard to tell,   
From just a single scene.  
Yeah, you just smile and my heart-ache swells,  
Look what that does to me.  
  
I'll wait 'till your love comes 'round.  
I'm heading straight for your heart.  
No way you can stop me now,  
As fine as you are.  
  
I wrote a letter and told him these words,   
It meant a lot to me.  
I never sent it, he wouldn't have heard,   
His eyes never follow me.  
  
And while they watch I can never hope be free,   
Such a good memory!  
  
I'll wait 'till your love comes 'round.   
I'm heading straight for your heart.   
Nothing that can stop me now,   
As fine as they are.  
  
(keyboard solo)  
  
(guitar solo)   
  
You can't imagine what your image means.   
The world comes alive.  
Your magic greets everyone who sees.  
Heart-break in overdrive.  
  
Are you for real, it's so hard to tell,   
From just a single scene.   
Yeah, you just smile and drive me so crazy,   
Look what you've done to me.  
  
I'll wait 'till your love comes 'round.   
I'm heading straight for your heart.   
Nothing that can stop me now,   
As fine as they are.  
  
I'll wait 'till your love comes 'round.  
I'm heading straight for your heart.  
No way you can stop me now,  
As fine as you are.  
  
(repeat to fade) 


	7. Boy Gone Bad

Boy Gone Bad  
By Mr. Crash  
  
~~~  
Next in a series for the album "1984". Parody of "Girl Gone Bad" by, who else, Van Halen.  
  
Sung by Link.  
  
~~~  
  
(intro)  
  
My killer eyes in the summer heat,   
Fresh from outta town.   
Now I'm working in the street,  
Shakin' sweet girls down.   
  
I'm a  
Boy gone bad!   
Boy gone bad!  
  
Found that girl, needed a handsome John,   
So I got to give her me.  
Guess that woman fallen in love,  
But I don't work for free!   
  
Boy gone bad!  
Boy gone bad!  
  
(guitar solo)   
  
Boy gone bad!  
Boy gone bad!  
  
(guitar solo) 


End file.

Legend of Zelda, Humor, Parody