Legend of Zelda The Life of a Zora

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## The Life of a Zora   
  
Once upon a time in the Golden land of Hyrule, there was a people know as the Zoras....oh for the love of God! You already know this stuff! I shall skip ahead to the point! In Zoras domain, a Zora known as Cerulean lived. She was shaped like a normal Zora, but like some Zoras, she had a slightly different coloring on her fins and the fish tail that most all Zoras have on their heads. Instead of blue, the fish tail was half way light purple/pink (Like Zora Link, but not green, kay?). The spots on her fins were a slightly darker purple/pink. Other then that, she was entirely white like an ordinary Zora. She also occasionally wore clothing when she went to Hyrule castle town. Cerulean made a modest income of 50 rupees a day by cleaning junk and dead bodies off the floor of lake Hyla. She also enjoyed games of jar breaking with her fins (You know, Zoras can detach their fins and hurl them at stuff. But the fins always come back no matter what!) even though only a handful of Zoras really liked that game. So life was just great and dandy in the wonderful world of the Zoras. Until.....  
A race of elf like monsters from Termina known as "Keentrolins" came up from the tree that stood as a passageway between the two worlds and attacked Zoras domain. They probably would of attacked the children of the Korokie forest if their rather plump leader, Syrus, hadn't of fallen into that one pond in the lost woods that served as a warp to the entrance to Zoras Domain. His loyal people dived in after him, and soon all of them were standing on the ledge in front of the waterfall that guarded Zoras Domain. Don't ask me how, but somehow they got in. Syrus greedily looked down at the Zoras as they swam and worked in their home of pure waters. "Mwahahahaha! Finally, we have found a new home to live and build up our numbers! Keentrolins shall take the Zoras place as one of this lands 5 dominant races!" and with that, Syrus ordered his warriors to attack the Zoras. They took the poor fish like people by surprise. The Zoras tried to fight back but were unprepared and vastly outnumbered. They were forced to retreat to lake Hyla. But the Keentrolins considered lake Hyla part of Zoras domain and were planning on attacking the Zoras for control of the last great body of water in all of Hyrule.   
All Zoras who could fight, men and women, were sent out for a surprise attack on Zoras domain. Cerulean was one of them. Armed only with bows, arrows and their fins, the selected Zoras swam through the underwater warp from lake Hyla to Zoras domain. Cerulean was near the back, so she didn't really get to see much of anything. By the time she and the others behind her finally surfaced in Zoras domain, a wild battle was going on, Zoras against Keentrolins. The only weapons the Keentrolins had were the ones they stole from the Zora shop, the Zoras homes and of course their fists and claws. As her comrades raced ahead and into battle, Cerulean instead ran up the unguarded stares to the Kings throne room. Queen Ruto (Yep, Kind Zora is dead as a doornail. Died a while ago from old age, NOT the fat that clogged his veins!) had been taken to Hyrule castle for protection. So far, no help from the king of Hyrule had been sent. Sitting in the Queen's place was the slightly plumper lord Syrus. "What?! How did YOU get in here?" the Keentrolin king demanded. "Who cares? I am here to destroy you and return the throne to the rightful Queen of the Zoras!" Cerulean said as she aimed her bow and arrow at the fat king. Syrus chucked. "Hweeheww! You may think I'm helpless, but I didn't become the leader of the Keentrolins for nothing! I can change shape! And I control the power of ice!" the fat lord boasted. Cerulean let an arrow fly, but Syrus caught it in mid air and snapped it in his hands. Cerulean snarled and threw her bow and quiver to the ground. She then aimed her fins at Syrus, who hadn't even once moved from his sitting position on the throne. Cerulean gritted her teeth and was about to fire, when Syrus calmly raised his clawed hand and shot a beam of ice at the Zora. Cerulean didn't even have time to scream before the ice absorbed her and incased her in a block of solid ice. Syrus laughed and then took the form of a dog (You know, the ones that wander around Hyrule castle town at night).  
Syrus barked gleefully and then urinated on the block of ice that Cerulean was trapped in. He then turned an raced back up the steps to his throne. He took on the form of a Zora and ran past the throne to the doorway to Zoras fountain. For a long time, Cerulean was trapped in the ice. She thought that she would be doomed to be this way forever. Soon, two Zoras limped into the throne room. They gasped when the saw Cerulean in her icy prison. Quickly they lit a Deku stick with the one torch in the room and held it close to the Ice cube. The ice cube quickly melted and Cerulean was free. "We must flee! The Keentrolins are too much and we have started to retreat! Hurry!" Cried one of the Zoras. Together, Cerulean and them ran from the throne room and made their way to the warp point that led to lake Hyla. When they got there, the Zoras decided to plan for a future attack of Zoras domain, but before they could even catch their breath and heal the wounded, the Keentrolins attacked and took over Lake Hyla. It was a blood bath. Almost no one survived. The 2 Zoras that had Saved Cerulean died as they fought along with her in battle. Cerulean realized that if she didn't escape now, she would die too. She ran far away from the front line and headed to the small camp that held those who weren't fighting. She tried to convince every one to come with her and flee to the Korokie forest. Many agreed to come with her, but allot more refused, they believed that the Zoras were winning and would not listen to the ramblings of a crazy girl. So Cerulean and her followers gathered all they needed and headed for the Korokie forest. It was a good place, nice and damp, but the Zoras didn't want to live along side the Korokie, so they headed deep into the lost woods in hopes that they would find a nice pond of lake to live in. For a long time, they wandered deeper and deeper into the lost woods, untill they came upon a huge tree with a hole in it.....   
  
5 months after The Zoras were so RUDELY kicked out of Zoras Domain in Hyrule and forced to travel to Termina live in the Landry pool of clock town since they couldn't find a way over the great bay wall, Cerulean the Zora and a few others decided to go and buy some fish with the few Rupees they had. They had eaten all the Fish in the Pond. "Life couldn't get any worse!" cried Cerulean. "We got kicked out of our ancient home by a race of reject elves, we can never go back to Hyrule, were cut off from the Great bay and are nearly broke!" she sobbed. "If only we could get a job, but no one will hire us! The only none human in town with a job is that Gorron in the bomb shop and the Akindo nut near the Clock." wept another. Cerulean looked up at a sign on a wall. It read, "Looking for workers to help build Jungle Gym in north Clock town! 200 rupees a day! Apply at stock pot in!" The other Zoras gasped in joy. "Wow! With that kind of money, we could build our own lake!" cheered one. "Lets go!" cried Cerulean as they ran to the Stock pot in....  
"Zora? I don't know..." mumbled the Lead Carpenter. Cerulean and the other Zoras had gone to the Stock pot inn to apply for the job. But it seemed that the Carpenters didn't like Zoras to much. "If ya was a Gorron I'd give ya the job in a second. Gorrons are strong, but ya Zoras look kind of flimsy to me." the lead carpenter said. All the other Carpenters nodded their heads in agreement. "What? Aw but we can work!" begged one of the Zoras. "NO! NOW GIT!" Roared the Lead guy. The Zoras were outta there in a flash, that carpenter guy is scary after all! Later.....  
The Zoras had gotten some fish for dinner. But it had cost them every last Rupee they had. And there were only enough fish for 3 of them. So they had to cut each fish into 2 halves to make ends meat. Cerulean looked at her meager share. It was a slice of fish tail thinner then her finger. "Errrr! THAT'S IT!" She cried, causing all the Zoras sitting around the Laundry pool to jump. "We shouldn't have to be here, suffering while filthy little malformed elves run about our home and fowl our water! We should go right back to Hyrule exterminate those Elves!" she cried. The other Zoras cheered in agreement, forgeting the horrors of the war that had taken place in Zoras Domain and Lake Hyla. "And to do it, we should take some of the advanced weapons here in Termina and blast the Elves! We can use the Powder Kegs, Heat sensing Bombchus and let loose Bio Deku babas in the Domain!" she cried and did a ape chest pounding thing. "And we can sneak in some Likelikes!" said another Zora. "And Gurdos?" asked one. "Uh, that's a bit much, but we shall get our home back. We will have to earn tons of Rupees to get the Bombs and Weapons, and we will have to build cages for the Like likes and Bio Deku babas, but it will be worth it!" the Zoras let loose another round of cheering and started their plans...  
The Zoras had split into 3 groups. Group #1 had to build Cages made with thick Bamboo and glued together with the blood of a Peahat. Group #2 had to work for money and use it to Buy Powder Kegs, bombs, Bombchus and so on. Group #3 had to catch the Bio Deku babas and Like likes. Cerulean was in that group. In the Zora pit...  
"Eeeeee! Its looking at me!" said a Zora. "How can you tell? They don't have eyes!" said another. Cerulean approached a Bio Deku Baba. If you got yourself a brain, any Link wannabe would know that Bio Deku Babas are very different from Ordinary Deku babas. They Hang from lily pads underwater and snap at ya. They even got little arms! "Your mine Baba boy!" cried Cerulean as she lunged at a Bio Deku Baba. To make a long story short, they got all the Bio guys in the pit and managed to drag 'em back to Clock town. But they all had itchy bleeding gaps in their fins and arms from the Babas. Group 2 was a different story....  
Group #2 as ya know, had to raise money. At the Treasure chest shop...  
"Look kid, play or git!" said Dew the Zora to a kid from the Bombers gang. "Hehe! Only if you catch me!!!" with that, the kid ran off across the huge room. "Ah for the love of..." Dew groaned. He pushed a button that caused a Wolfo to fall out of the Ceiling. "Eeeeeeeeee!" cried the kid. "Gawooooo!" howled the Wolfo. The kid ran out the door in 3 seconds flat. "I love this job!" said Dew. "Me too!" said the Wolfo. It was actually a Zora dressed up as a Wolfo. Most of the Towns people had never seen a Wolfo, so they didn't notice that this one was just a bit tall. In the Trading post...  
"ERRRRRRRRR! IF YA DONT STOP THAT DANCING I'M GOING TO PUT YOU UP FOR SALE!" Wella the Zora roared at the Scare crow dancing by the door. "Ha! No one wants to buy me! I'm too annoying!" jeered the Scare crow. "Then I guess I'll just have to cut you into little pieces and stuff you in the stove!" that made the Scare crow shut up fast. Wella grinned and promptly went back to sleep. In the Bomb shop...  
It was the late shift and Lenny the Zora was alone in the shop. Just him and the bombs. Him, the Bombs and the Gorron. "Hullo, would ya like to buy a bomb?" asked the Gorron. "I work here you dolt!" said Lenny. "Me wasn't talking to you, me was talking to bug." the Gorron pointed to a bottle bug running around on the floor. "Bug?! God I hate Gorrons." mumbled Lenny. In the Curiosity shop...  
Bolo the Zora was sitting in the shop, when Sakon the Thief pranced in. "I got something good for ya tonight!" he sang. He held up a shiny gem that as half as long as his arm. "Heyyyy, that looks just like the Crystal in the Telescope guys place!" said Bolo. Sakon shifted his eyes nervously. "What? How silly! This is just something I had lying around! Do you think me a petty thief?" Bolo thought for a second. "Yes I do! But I wont tell if you gimmie the Diamond for free!" said Bolo slyly. "WHAT? Never!" cried Sakon. "Then I guess I'll see you in jail" said Bolo. He picked up a bug and tied a letter on it. "What's that?" demanded Sakon. "This bug is trained to go strait to the Police!" Bolo said Evilly. "Egh! Ok! Heres the Diamond! Bye!" with that, Sakon was out the door. "Hehe! Now I got a nice thingy!" said Bolo...  
Group #1 had to make cages to hold all the nasty monsters that Group #3 was catching. And the best kind of glue for these cages was...Peahat blood. In Temina there was but only ONE Peahat. And Those things are seriously annoying. If you come within 1 mile of them, they shoot out little seeds that chase you for 6 miles. And the Zoras had to catch one in an enclosed place. Rainer the Zora led his small group down the hole to the Giant pineapple. They looked at the thing. It rested in some bushes. Rainer approached the Peahat. It instantly rose into the air and whirled its sharp roots at the Zoras...  
The Peahat whirled about the small cave. Rainer hurled one of his fins at the Peahat. The other Zoras did the Same. The Peahat spat out tiny Peahats. That's bad. The Zoras managed to kill the Mother Peahat. That's good. But the Little ones were cutting every one. That's bad and painful. The Zoras managed to drag the Peahat corps back to Clock town. That's good. The Tiny Peahats followed them the whole way. That's bad...ow.  
Group #1 had made the Cages. Group #2 had made an butt load of money and went to the bomb shop to get the stuff. They bought Bombs and Bombchus without a problem. But as for the Powder kegs...  
"Look Mr. no brain! We need 500 powder kegs NOW!" Roared Wella the Zora to the Gorron. "But you no have license for keg! No sell to you." stated the Gorron. The Zoras all made threatening sounds and pounded their fists into their hands. The Gorron picked up a bug and said, "Meet my grandma!" Much later....  
The Gorron was strapped to the rocket ship and the Zoras had taken every last one of the Kegs. Wella put the money for the kegs on the counter. "I hope you try to grow a brain soon!" she sang and was out the door. Now for group #3...  
Group #3 now had to catch a Like like or 2. Not easy seeing as all the like likes lived only in the great bay. And the Zoras wouldn't be doing all this stuff if they could get to the great bay. So the Zoras had to find other ways to get Like likes...  
"Look, you just get 5 Like likes, bring 'em here alive and we give you 500 rupees. Got it kid?" Cerulean said to the little boy in green. It was night and she and the kid were standing outside of the West gate. Cerulean gazed at the Great Bay for a moment. She had always longed to go there. The waters beckend her. But she knew that she would never be able to swim in the cool salty waters of the Sea. She would always swim the pure waters of Lake Hyla and Zoras domain, as soon as they got it back from those rotten elves. She looked back at the kid. "We gotta deal?" she asked the Kid in green. The kid opened his mouth to speak but his golden fairy interrupted, "Sure! Just wait here fishy!" with that, the Kid in green got on his horse and rod off toward the Great bay gate. Cerulean's eyes suddenly glowed with and idea. If she followed him, she could find out how to get to the great bay! Perhaps there was a secret trail or maybe the kid had a key to the Gate or something. Cerulean took a deep breath and followed after the kid. She ran down the Smooth marble path to the sand. Instantly, Leevers popped out of the Sand and zoomed at Cerulean. She gasped and began to zig zag to avoided the Leevers. She kept her eyes on the Boy and his horse. Finally she got far enough that the Leevers stopped following. She stood and gasped for air as she watched the Boy ride his Horse. They want faster and faster, strait at the wall. Suddenly the horse jumped. It soared over the wall and was gone. Cerulean just stood their and stared for a moment. Then cursed for an hour. By then the Sun was coming up. She started back to the West gate, avoiding Leevers all the way. When she finally got there, she jumped into a fountain and fell asleep. Later she was awakened by the annoying tinkling of a fairy. "Hey! Wake up you lazy fish!" cried the Yellow fairy. Cerulean stood up and looked at the kid. The sun was already high in the Sky. The kid stood there, behind him was a Sickly looking Like like. "Just one? I said 5!" cried Cerulean. The kid opened his mouth to talk, but the fairy interrupted again. "We have 4 others in these Bottles." said the Fairy. The kid in green held up 4 bottles full of gray watery stuff that moved. "Great! Give 'em" said Cerulean, reaching for the Bottles. "Hey! We cant GIVE you the bottles! Don't you have any thing to put the Like likes in?" asked the Fairy. "Yes yes, just follow me!" sighed Cerulean. She led the Kid and his annoying Fairy to the Landry pool. It was quite a sight! There was cages here and there. Some held Deku Babas and others held Live Bombchus. One even held a very small Dodongo! There was part of a Dead Peahat in the Corner and piled next it were tons of Bombs, Powder Kegs and other Weapons. The Boys mouth hung open in shock. "Just let the Like likes out in those Steel cages by the Dodongo, ok?" said a Zora. The kid quickly let the Like likes out into the Cages. Then he shoved the one that was knocked out into the last cage. "Good job! Heres the money, now git!" said Cerulean. The kid took his Rupees and was gone...  
The Zoras were ready. They had Bombs, monsters and were mad as hell. "To Hyrule!" cried Cerulean in a heroic voice. The Zoras picked up their stuff and ran to the Big Clock of clock town. It was a terrifying site to see an army of Zoras run through the down with cages and weapons, yelling like a bunch of hyper 4 year olds. To make a Long story short, they ran into the clock, Blasted the Metal door with 5 kegs, and went back along the road to Hyrule. It was tough having to jump along the logs and sawing through metal bars on some doors, but finally they reached the main chamber. The room with the passage to Hyrule. The Zoras looked up at the Glowing portal above them. "Ok, just do the thing like we practiced and we shall be outta this place!" said Cerulean. One by one the Zoras stepped on to the Deku flower below the portal and launched their Fins up the Portal. Now with the Power of space time being curved and the antigravity thingy, when the Fin boomerangs went up the Hole, they couldn't go back down, so then suddenly the owner of the Fin was sucked up the hole to be attached to the Fin. Quickly that Zora grabbed onto the Leg of the small door that led outside. Yes its complicated, but this is other dimension traveling were talking about people!  
Soon all the Zoras and their supplies were back in sweet Hyrule. Now they had to travel the forest to get back to Hyrule field. "Hmmm, that's gunna take about 3 weeks." said Dew the Zora. Every one groaned. "Well lets get moving! Every one stay together and don't talk to fairies. You know what that leads to." said Cerulean. The Zoras started back to the land of their birth...  
Soon the Zoras reached Zoras domain. Cerulean stood and gazed up at the waterfall that guarded the entrance. Finally they were home. Now to eliminate those Elves once and for all....  
Sirus, the Head Keentrolin, was sitting in King Zoras spot. He was now Bloated from the Zoras food supply. "More FISH!" He belched. His little Keentrolin minions ran off to fulfill their masters wish. But they never came back. "HEY! HURRY UP DOWN THERE!" Roared the Keentrolin King. But the only answer he got was a faint screech from down below. With a roar of anger, Sirus lifted himself from his perch and waddled down the stairs. What he saw nearly made his heart stop. Bombchus were running about and exploding the minute the touched any thing. Bio Deko Babas had infested every inch of water in the domain. A Like like was sitting on a rock in the water. Keentrolins could be seen in its clear gooey flesh. Bombs were going off every where. Elves were running about in panic. A small but destructive Dongago was torching stuff. But the thing that really scared Syrus was the fact that about 100 Zoras with weapons and bombs and stuff were running about shouting like Xena: Warrior Princess. Suddenly Syrus looked down at his gut. An ice arrow was sticking out of his tummy. Slowly the ice took over his body and left him an ice statue. Cerulean grinned and lowerd her bow. "How do YOU like it? You're lucky that Zoras are civilized enough to not pee in public." The Zoras had their home back. And so the water supply of Hyrule was cleaned of Keentrolin poop, and peace rained upon the land.  
THE END!  
  
(Maybe I'll make a story about Deku scrubs. Might be fun. MAN eating Deku scrubs! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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Legend of Zelda, Adventure, Humor