Final Fantasy XIII Diaries of the L'Cie

**Diary of the L'Cie**

_Diaries of the L'Cie during high school. It involves Serah getting bullied, Fang getting hit by an ambulance, and Lightning tasing Hope. Rated T.  
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**Serah's Diary:**

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day of school (Sophomore year), and this stupid dyke girl named Fang started to bully

me during lunch. She called me a pink hair freak and threw her tuna sandwich at me. Lightning tried to

help out by threatening the girl with a taser, but that only made things worst. The two proceeded to

have a cat fight and ended up getting detentions. Unfortunately, Lightning ended up tasing some

freshmen named Hope who was sitting in the lunch table beside us. Poor kid.

He ended up in the hospital! Then after school, when I was walking home, I found out that Fang lives on my street.

Across from my house! I mean, what the fuck, really? Fang then started to tease me again.

And here's what Fang said to me:

**Fang: **_Hey Serah!_

**Me: **_Ugh, what do you want, you dyke?_

**Fang: **_Why did you make your sister attack me with a taser? You must be insane!_

**Me: **_Shut up!_

**Fang: **_And you know what else?_

**Me: **_What?_

**Fang: **_Your hair is PINK! AHAHAHAHAHAH_

**Me: **_D':_

I then began to cry (since I'm really sensitive about my hair) and then all of a sudden, Fang got hit by an ambulance! Woo hoo!

I then did a rain dance to show the Gods how much I appreciated of what just happened.

Love,

Serah

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**Lightning's Diary:**

Dear you-motherfucking-stupid-diary-my-therapist made-me-get,

Today was the first day of school (my stupid useless Senior year), and Serah obviously got bullied again this year.

This stupid new girl named Fang (I mean really? What kind of name is that?) started to tease Serah about her pink hair during lunch.

Serah then cried. I'm not sure why Serah cried, because all Fang said was that her hair was pink...

Anyway, things got worse. Here's what happened:

**Fang:** _Your hair is pink!_

**Serah:** _Wahhh! Shut up you dyke_!

**Fang:** _What did you call me?_

**Serah:** _I called you a dyke! Bitch!_

**Me:**_ (Oh God Serah, please don't start another fight!)_

Fang then threw her tuna sandwich at Serah, which made her cry again. So I, obviously, being the older sibling, had to defend Serah.

**Me:** _Okay you fuckin' bitch, stop messing around with my sister!_

**Fang:** _Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see that pinkie here has a sister! With PINK HAIR!_

**Me:** _Whoa whoa whoa, listen here! You do NOT mess with me and my fuckin' PINK HAIR!_

**Fang**: _Oh yeah? What are you gonna do Farron? _

I then took out my taser my grandma bought me for Hanukkah , and tried to tase her.

But unfortunately I tased some freshmen kid who sat in the lunch table beside us.

He screamed like a girl and fainted.

Haha, that made me laugh.

So anyway, me and Fang got in trouble and were sent to the principal office, but apparently Principal Cid Raines was having sex with Vice Principle Jihl Nabaat, so they told us that if we don't tell anyone what we just saw, then we won't ever get a detention for the rest of our school year.

Which doesn't really please me since I'm a senior and seniors in our school gets away with everything :P. So I then took a bus home to my house and saw my sister Serah doing a rain dance in the middle of the street and saw an ambulance that crashed into a church.

I mean WHAT THE FUCKING WAS SERAH DOING?

Sincerely,

Lightning

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**Fang's Diary:**

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day of school at Bodhum High. Since it's my senior year, I decided to go and spend my last year befriending all of the lower class-men.

Oh boy, let me tell you, things got REALLY interesting. Well for starters, I met a girl named Serah Farron.

I told her that her hair was pink (as a compliment). She then proceeded to cry and started to call me a dyke and a bitch.

I mean WHAT THE FUCK? Did she really get that offended? She must be having some mental health problems.

So anyway, too make matters worse, I forgot to take my special medication for my muscle spasm. So I had an arm muscle spasm, which made me threw my beloved tuna sandwich at her.

So after that incident, Serah's older sister Lightning then attacked me with a taser, but ended up tasing Hope Estheim, who is a freshmen that I am tutoring, and made him go to the ER.

After that, me and Lightning got sent to the principal office for detention, but fortunately Principal Cid Raines and Vice Principle Jihl Nabaat where doing you-know-what, so we got off the hook.

I then found out that Serah is my neighbor, sadly, so I confront her and asked her why she made her sister attack me and all. But Serah only responded by saying shut up and leave me alone, bitch!

So I decided to compliment her pink hair again and gave a small friendly chuckle afterwards to show her how nice I am. But apparently that didn't work.

I then got hit by a freaking ambulance!

I screamed for Serah to get help, but she started to do some weird rain dance and kept saying "THANK YOU GODS! AYAYAYAYAY!"

I am now at the hospital. I think that Serah needs some mental help...

Love,

Fang

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**Hope's Diary:**

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day at Bodhum High! I've met this really nice senior girl named Fang who tutored me during lunch!

I knew that I'll make friends! In your face MOM!

Anyway, everything was going great! That was, until, Fang decided to compliment a whiney ass sophomore named Serah Farron.

She told me that pink hair looked good on her, so she wanted to tell Serah that her hair is pink and awesome.

I told her not to, because Serah is a cry baby and her older sister, Lightning, would get out her taser and tase her.

But Fang told me that that's nonsense and then complimented Serah. BAD MOVE!

Everything went chaos like what I told her! Serah cried, Lightning got out her taser, and her and Fang got into a cat fight!

When Lightning was about to tase Fang, I decided to do a brave thing and sacrifice myself. I threw myself at Lightning and got tased.

I then proceeded to scream like a girl and fainted. And now I'm at the hospital. And guess who's in the hospital bed beside me? Fang!

I wonder what happened...

Also, Snow Villiers and Vanille are in the hospital room next to us too. What the fuck happened?

Yours truly,

Hope Estheim

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**Snow's Diary:**

Dear Diary!

Snow Villiers here! Today, Vanille and I were scheduled to volunteer at the Hospital today!

Me and her were scheduled to meet with Sazh Katzroy, an ambulance driver. Things were really cool!

We got to sit in the ambulance and go like 100mph legally! Plus a siren! It was AWESOME!

But unfortunately, Sazh fell unconscious after Vanille accidently hit him with a fire extinguisher, when we were driving back to the hospital. So it was up to me and Vanille to steer the ambulance!

Unfortunately, the pedal brake broke, so all we could do was to scream.

We then ended up running over a girl. I am now at the ER.

What a day!

-Snow :D

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**Vanille's Diary:**

Dear Diary,

OMG! Today was the worst day ever! I had to get paired up with stupid Snow Villiers today for my volunteering at the hospital!

But on the upside, we got to ride the ambulance and get to see all of the action! But Snow was acting like a douchebag and was going insane! He was all like "WOO HOO! YEAH! AMBULANCE POWER!"

And I'm all like, "SNOW! SHUT UP!"

He annoyed me so much that I tried to smack him on the head with a fire extinguisher. Unfortunately I smacked Sazh (The ambulance driver), and he fell unconscious.

So it was up to me and Snow to drive the ambulance. But apparently the brake pedal broke, so we had no choice but to go 100 mph!

We then ran over a girl and ran into a church. The nuns then started to spray me, Snow, and Sazh with holy water because they thought we were sent by the demons or something...And here I am in the hospital room with Snow. Ugh, what a bad day!

Love,

Vanille

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**Sazh's Diary**

Dear Diary,

I'm not sure what happened, but I'm at the hospital right now.

Woo hoo! Workers Compensation!

-The Sazh man

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**Author's Note: I might continue this story, although I'm not sure what else to write about. Any suggestions would be appreciated :D**


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Final Fantasy XIII, Humor, Parody