1. Chapter 1: RIP ZUTARA

**A/N: Before you read this is a total comedy about the Shipping Wars of Avatar. It is not to offend any ships (I am a Zutara/Yukka/Zue/Maiko-ish/Taang/Tokka shipper myself) this is just to laugh and show the extreme side of shipping have fun. Enjoy.  
**

The ocean of Chi was quiet the Zutaraian war ship was locked onto the harbor until orders from its leader, Canon-Bender69. Captain Ming Ue stood on the ship looking out into the sea.

The Kataang warship was parked on thee other side of the harbor; the ship seemed to be celebrating something. Ming Ue's silver eyes narrowed in disgust.

"Is everything alright Captain?" asked Private Amaterasu brushing her red hair.

Ming Ue sighed and turned around. "Those damn Kataangs they have been celebrating all afternoon. They have some information we don't know about or have been so in denial about."

Amaterasu let out a growl and threw her brush. "Damn them and their canon logic! What do you think they are up to?"

"I sent a spy, Agent ZK 78, to Maikoian ships a few days ago she should be returning with news."

And then under an amazing coincidence Agent ZK 78 barged into the room. She was bloody was covered in mud. Her eyes were bulging and her shirt looked like it was covered in vomit.

Ming Ue walked towards the disgusting agent. "Agent ZK 78? Are you alright?"

"T…terrible…disgusting…things…its **EVIL**!!!" the young teenage girl screamed.

"What? What's evil?" Amaterasu asked shaking the teenager.

"It…it…"

"Out with it solider!" Amaterasu said slapping the girl. Agent ZK 78 took out a tape and slowly handed it to Amaterasu.

"Take…it…and beware…" she whispered before fainting in the red heads arms. The girl immediately dropped the body to the floor and looked at the tape. "What do you think could be in this Captain?"

Ming Ue covered her mouth. "I don't know, but if it came from the Maiko ship…its something canon." She pressed on the loudspeaker. "Cabins _OppositesArract_ through _TheyLookSexyTogether _gather in the auditorium. And prepare yourselves for something logical."

Ming Ue took the tape from Amaterasu and raised it up in the sky. "Only God knows what kind of Anti-Zutara lies are in this."

0o0o0

Within minutes the Zutaraian auditorium was filled with its teenage-girl soldiers and a handful of boys. They all seemed eager to see what was going to happen. They hadn't been this hyped up since the preview of CRoD.

Ming Ue came onto the stage, a screen was behind her, and Amaterasu was in the back holding the tape.

"Ladies and our 10 male crew, Agent ZK 78 had returned from her mission from the Maiko ship. She has returned with a tape which content sent her into a state of madness. We must warn you…this may contain logical fact that may go against our ship. You have been warned."

Ming Ue gave the signal and Amaterasu placed the tape inside the VCR. On the screen it showed _COMIC CON._ The girls in the crowd cheered, until they saw Aang.

"BOOO!! YOU DON'T DESIRVE KATARA! YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE KID!"

Ming Ue and Amaterasu smiled happily at their girls, but all smiles faded as Zuko and Mai came up on the screen…and kissed!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"  
They screamed, holding each other and crying. Some has vomited onto the floor other started scratching at their eyes.

Ming Ue walked onto the screen. "Zutaraians! Relax yourselves or the Waterbending Scroll will be banned for a week."

The room went dead silent.

Ming Ue cleared her throat and looked up.

"Now this video…"

"IT'S NOT REAL…"

"IT'S MAI'S SICK DREAM…"

"HE'S USING HER TO GET TO AZULA!"

As the uproar began up again one young girl raised her hand. Ming Ue clapped her hands twice and the room went silent again.

"You may speak PrincessKatara09," Ming Ue said.

"Um…I was just thinking. Don't you all think it's immature for us to hate and fight with Maiko and Kataang just because they are canon? Can't we just like our ship for what it is…a non-canon idea?"

Whispering started amongst the other Zutaraians and Ming Ue nodded slowly. "Wow PrincessKatara09, you have made a very logical and smart point," she said with a smile, "That must mean…" then suddenly pointed at the young girl. "YOU ARE A KATAANGER IN DISGUSE KILL HER!!!"

As soon as the order was given the fans jumped poor PrincessKatara09 the sound of screams and ripping of flesh was heard. Ming Ue nodded in approval as Amaterasu walked up to her.

"So what do we do about this _kiss_?" she asked clearly disgusted by the very idea of Zuko being with someone other than Katara.

"The same thing we did with Jin and Zuko's kiss. We ignore it until we can find something against it," she said walking into the hallway, with the red-head behind her. "Call the Taang Captain Tongone and tell them about this information. Let's see if they have any counter canon."

"Alright Captain I will…" the red head stopped and dropped her writing pad on the ground with a loud slam. Ming Ue turned around. "What is it Ama?"

The girl pointed out the window. The silver-eyes Captain looked up to see a flag raised from the Kataang flag. The flag had a picture of Mai and Zuko kissing and underneath it read Zutara 2005-2007 R.I.P.

Ming Ue growled and leaned out the window and screamed. "THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!"

**A/N: Lol Well that was chapter 1 of this silly-ass story. Next time…the Kataang warship.**


	2. Chapter 2: THIS IS ZUTARA!

**A/n: Wow so you guys actually like this story? Awesome! I took random names from the AS forum so Here is the Kataang warship!**

"Oh the look of those poor, stupid Zutaraians was priceless wasn't it Private Sri?" asked the Captain of the Kataang ship, Avani.

"It was captain," Sri said with a smile. "Shall I call the Maikoian captain?"

Avani shook her head. "Not just yet," the dark-skinned captain said walking down her ship. "Those stupid Zutaraians they refuse to understand that the one true almighty super canon ultra amazing ship is Kataang."

As they walked down the hall screenshots of Kataang hugs and kisses were on the walls reminding all who entered that Kataang was the one true almighty super canon ultra amazing ship.

"We are planning out next attack on the Zutara forces," Avani stated as they entered the war room. On the door it stated: Canon is Law.

"But, I thought we couldn't go to war until season 3?"

"Things have changed," Avani told her Private as she took out some screenshots of Avatar. "After waving that flag those bastards will be trying to warp a Kataang moment into Zutaraian proof. We must ready our canon cannon."

"Yes Captain."

Another soldier ran up to her and gave a salute. "Captain we have captured these soldiers who have said something against Kataang superior awesomeness."

Avani frowned. "Good work Agent Roku851; we must get rid of all who oppose Kataangs canon awesomeness."

Snapping his fingers two scared soldiers were dragged into the room. Avani looked at them coldly. "So you two have said something bad about Kataang did you?"

"No, no never Captain!"

"Kataang is the awesomeist!"

"Enough!" she yelled. "What did they say Agent Roku851?"

Agent Roku851 pointed at the older male solider. "He said that Zutaraians make better fanvids."

_**Gasp.**_

"I know," the agent said shaking his head. "And the other one said that Zutaraians have hotter fanfiction than we do and…"

"No!!!" Avani said clutching her ears. "I can not bear to hear anymore of this…blasphemy! Take them to Agent Avatar Yuffie, she'll get rid of them."

The two Kataang hating S.O.Bs were dragged off their screaming continued going on until they were thrown into a metal room.

Avani sighed and touched the Kataang flag. "Those damn Zutaraians and their superior creativity!"

"Well think of it this way if they can come up with Zutara they have to be creative," Sri said patting her captain.

"True, thank you Private Sri, but be careful that comment sounded a bit creative."

The younger girl covered her mouth and nodded. No creativity was allowed on Kataang ships because logic and canon was all that mattered to them.

"But, the Zutara infection will spread next thing you know people will be talking about Taang and Maang and all other stupid crap that is not and never will be canon!"

"Well why don't we attack the Taang ships?"

"Because Kataangs don't care about Taang it's a small stupid ship compared to Zutara, its not a threat. It's because of ships like Zutara that people think they can ship just anybody. We must destroy them for the sake of canon. Or soon…they will ship everyone with everything. Katara is already a fandom whore!"

Sri shook her head in sadness. "Why can't people just look at the facts?"

"We will _**make**_ them see!! We will push them down every chance we get, make them lose that thing that they have…what's it called again?"

Sri stopped and looked through her noted. "I believe it is called _hope _Captain."

"_Hope_," Avani spat. "We will show them that their silly hope is nothing compared to canon."

"So should we call the Maikoian captain now?"

"No…call the Sokkaian ship. That guy you like works under Captain PoeticHottie right? Tell them that the Zutaraians have received the Maiko kiss tape and are going to ally themselves with the Yukka and Tokka ships."

"But we don't know that the Zutaraians are allying with them."

Avani laughed and waved her hand. "It doesn't matter we don't care about ships that have nothing to do with Aang and Katara."

The younger Private saluted. "Yes Captain."

As the girl went to make the call, the Kataang captain pressed the intercom. "Kataangers please report to the _Canon is my God_ auditorium. We have important news for all of you."

0o0o0o

The Canon is my God auditorium was filled to last seat. They all were excited about this meeting they were always fun.

"I hope it's another Anti-Zutara video…"

"Or a slideshow of Zuko's flaws…"

Avani clapped her hands and the crowed of happy Kataangers was silent.

"How is everyone feeling today?"

"LOGICAL!"

"Excellent. Now a few hours ago the Zutara warship saw the video of Mai and Zuko kissing. Of course we Kataangs don't really give a damn about Maiko, but because its anti-Zutara we are gonna be allies with them. Anyway after seeing that and out R.I.P Zutara flag they have declared war on us."

"BOOOOO!! DOWN WITH ZUTARA!" the crowd chanted.

Avani laughed and quieted them before speaking. "Oh Zutara will fail as long as we have canon on our side there is no way we can lose. All of you must watch the _Fortuneteller, CRoD, Serpent's Pass and Earth King._ Of course CRoD has been edited to take out that silly Zutara cave scene."

"YAY!!!!"

"Rejoice my Kataangers for WE WILL WIN!!!"

The Kataangers started to rejoice when Sri ran into the room. "CAPTAIN AVANI COME QUICK!!!!"

Avani looked confused but followed Sri outside to the deck. Out there was a projection in the sky coming from the Zutara ship, it was Ming Ue and Amaterasu's faces.

"Well Kataangers did you think that R.I.P Zutara flag was funny?" the Zutaraian captain asked with a glare.

"Actually it was hilarious," Avani laughed.

Ming Ue's frown turned into a smile. "Oh you think that's funny well your spies won't think it's funny."

She snapped her fingers and the screen showed three Kataang spies tied to metal chairs, they had metal helmets on their head which were attached a huge machine that Amaterasu was standing behind.

Avani glared. "What are you going to do to them?"

"You have no right to ask any questions Kataangers! You thought you could scare us with that disgusting Maiko scene?!?"

"You should be afraid all Zutaraian ships will burn to the ground!!" Avani yelled gripping the metal ledge of her ship.

"Well," Ming Ue started standing up, "for your crimes your spies will pay the price. Ama, explain it to them."

The red haired woman came on the screen. "This is the Shipping-Scrambler, it has the power to change even the most loyal Kataanger into any other ship we choose."

Avani and Sri gasped. "Captain how could they have created such a thing?"

"I don't know," Avani said. "They are so damn creative."

"Now these three will not be Zutara fans. No, they are not good enough for them. How about Katoph fans? That would make our ally, Captain Doug, happy wouldn't it Ama," Ming Ue said with a twisted smile.

"It sure would," Ama said twisting the switch to Katoph on top of their helmets.

"STOP! They have done nothing to deserve this!" Avani yelled.

"Oh they haven't?" Ming Ue snorted. "You Kataangs have threatened my ship with war and canon for the last time! Ready the machine Ama," Ming Ue said putting her hand on the toggle.

"It's read for you Captain Ming Ue," Ama said as she fixed the last helmet.

"You can't do this! This…this is **Blasphemy**! This is **Madness**!"

Ming Ue laughed and looked at them. "Madness? THIS IS _**ZUTARA**_!" She pulled the switch and the three Kataangers erupted into screams.

The Kataangers on their ship turned away in fear. As the screams died down Avani and her crew looked up at the projected images. The three spies were sitting up know.

"Katoph is amazing," one said.

"Katoph will happen!"

"Katoph is hotter than canon!"

Avani covered her mouth and tried to hold in vomit. "You sick and twisted Zutaraians!"

"Thank you!" Ming Ue said with a smile. "Tell that to those bastard Maikoians as well because we are not giving in to you without a fight!"

"Alright then…._**IT'S ON**_!"

**A/N: You heard them its on. Canon vs Crack/Fandom who will win? Only God knows. Oh and I'm sorry but I sooo had to put in that 300 bit.**

**Also I need Captains and solders so if you want to be in this story just say which ship you want to be in and you will get a part. Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 3: PUNKED

**A/N: I was trying to write Avatar: H.S but I couldn't think of anything so I decided to continue this. At the end I will write down the people that I have in the story. Also a note to any people who I have put in this story, this is a comedy so your characters are going to be funny. Nothing to crazy…I save that for the ocs, but there will be laughs. I hope you enjoy this.**

"Okay we have just declared war with Kataang. Now what?" Ming Ue asked looked around her war table.

The war captains of the Zutara table looked up at her blankly. Ming Ue groaned and banged her head on the desk. "Come…onnnn! We are Zutaraians! We are the creative ones. We have to think of something."

General Yong Wing raised his hand. "Well no one told you to declare war on them."

"SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP! I AM NOT IN THE (BLEEP) MOOD!"

The general shrunk down and curled into a ball. Ming Ue turned to the command general Kari.

"General Kari you always have good ideas. Do you have anything?"

The young girl sat in a chair; she had a white piece of paper in her hands. "I…I need crayons."

"YOU HEARD HER MEN! GET THE GIRL SOME CRAYONS!"

The Zutaraian generals rushed around looking for crayons when Amaterasu ran into the room. "Captain Windsong of the Sukka ship was spotted entering the Kataang ship!"

"DAMN IT! They must have told him that we joined with Yukka," Ming Ue growled gripping her hair. "I wanted to ally with Captain Windsong. How did her messengers get to him before ours?"

Amaterasu cracked a slightly grin. "Their Privates are dating."

…

The two fell into fit of laughter; Ming Ue grabbed her desk to keep from falling. "Man that was a good one," she wiped her eyes. "No wonder our fanfics are awesome."

Amaterasu cleared her throat. "Yes well when Captain Windsong is told that we are gonna be joined with the Yukka ship he'll join Kataang."

"Damn. Fine then we will send a message to the Yukka captain and we will join forces with them."

"Aye-Ai Captain! I you wish I will also get the spy glass ready?"

"Good work, Amaterasu I wanna see what they are talking about. Canon-using bastards," the Zutaraian captain groaned as they tried to get a visual working.

0o0o0o0

Sri knocked on Avani's door. "Captain Windsong has arrived Captain," Sri stated.

Avani let out a dreamy sigh. "I know. I saw him come in on the spyglass," she said pointing to picture of the Sukka captain.

Sri chuckled nervously. "O...okay ;. Well he is waiting for you in meeting room."

"Alright let's not keep him waiting," the female captain said in a sing-song voice.

0o0o0o0

"I must admit I was surprised when Phong told me the message that you wanted join forces," Captain Windsong said taking a sip of tea. "I never thought the Kataangs cared about any other ship except themselves."

"Oh no, no," Avani said waving her hand. "Kataang supports all ships that agree with canon and Sukka agrees with canon."

"Alright," he asked putting his cup down. "But why should I ally myself with you?"

Avani let out a weak chuckle. "What do you mean?"

"Well we have no real problem with Zutara their strongest ally is Taang and Taang has nothing to do with my ship."

"Well…um… we have been alerted that the Zutaraians have allied themselves with Yukka."

Windsong's eyes narrowed and he leaned into the table a bit. "Are you sure Ming Ue has joined with Captain Rowen of the Yukka Ship?

Avani nodded. "I am 100 sure Captain."

"Well then Avani, my dear, you have an ally in the Sukka ship."

0o0o0

"DAMN IT!!" Ming Ue yelled as she watched the Sukka/Kataang alliance form. "We lost Sukka to Kataang."

"Well it's not that bad of a thing. They were friends with Soko and Jinko and we don't like them," said Agent FallenCrescent.

"This is true," Ming Ue said stroking her chin. "Did the message reach Captain Rowen yet?"

"It should be going in her hands any minute," the Agent said.

"Good I'll head to my office incase she sends me a video message and make sure Kurati has everything ready for the breach."

"Aye-Ai Captain," the Agent walked away. Ming Ue smirked and walked to her office. "Things are slowly coming together."

0o0o0o0

The Yukka captain was sitting in her office meditating. She had a look of pure peace and tranquility on her face. Her Private Officer, IHeartYukka23, ran into the office panting slightly.

"Captain…Rowen…message…from…Zutaraian ship," she panted.

"Thank you my fellow Yukka solider, please read the content to me please," Rowen asked softly.

"Sure," the Private tore open the letter. "Dear Rowen of the Yukka Ship. It's Ming Ue from Zutara. I am writing today to inform you that the Kataang ship has joined forces with the Sukka ship…"

"WHAT?!!!!!" screamed Rowen jumping up and grabbing the letter. "HOW DARE THEY SIDE WITH THAT MAN?!!!"

She picked up a cup, throwing it into the wall. Rowen sat in her captain's chair and turned on the communication screen. There were a bunch of screens with the names of different ships on them, she turned on the Zutara screen.

Ming Ue's face appeared, she was smiling. "Hello Rowen," the Zutaraian captain's smile faded when she say the look of a murder on Rowen's face. "I see you got my letter."

A vain throbbed on Rowen's forehead. "I most certainly did," she said behind clenched teeth. "I'm on your side 100 me and my forces will help you _**crush**_ them!"

Ming Ue laughed nervously and sweat dropped. "Yes well my Tech. Kurati has gotten camera feed to the Kataang and Sukka ships. We can speak to them on the communication screen without their approval.

Rowen grinned evilly. "Do it."

Ming Ue gave Kurati the signal and the communication screens for the Kataang and Sukka ships turned on automatically.

Captain Avani was clipping her tone nails on top of her desk, currently biting on a hangnail on her big toe. Captain Windsong, however, was enjoying a relaxing massage from his harem…ahem…crew.

Rowen turned red and screamed. "WINDSONG YOU ARE SUCH A PIG!!"

The two unexpected captains jumped up. Windsong glared at Rowen. "Great now you're a stalker."

"Oh just shut up!" she yelled pointing at him through the screen. "Why aren't there any men on your ship?!"

"I have men on my ship!" he yelled.

"Oh yeah? How many five?"

"No…like around seven."

"Okay! Okay! Lets stop this lovers spat please," Ming Ue said with a groan.

Avani glared at Ming Ue. "You dirty Zutaraian how did you hack into our system?"

"Oh it's too creative for you to understand," Ming Ue said waving off Avani.

"Ha you're just upset because we got to Sukka before you!"

"Please you only got to them first because you're Privates are dating," Ming Ue snorted.

"Their WHAT?" Rowen screamed.

"That's not what I meant. Now I am going to try and be civil Avani. You take down that (bleep) R.I.P Zutara flag and we won't crush you and your allies."

"Yes because we are completely scared of the ultimate crack ship and the necrophiliacs," Windsong said rolling his eyes.

"We are not necrophiliacs!" Rowen yelled. "And how do you know Suki isn't dead!"

"Okay! Okay! Can you two ever stop talking about this?" Avani groaned.

"Look it's not only about Zutara and Kataang all the time. There _are_ other ships you know," Windsong told Avani.

"Whatever," she grumbled. _But our ship is the best and most canon._ "So what exactly was the point of all this. To hack into our computer and scare us."

"Look we have more friends than you because you piss people off too much," Ming Ue said.

"Especially you!" Rowen pointed to Windsong while screaming. He just rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

Ming Ue sighed and placed her hand over the screen. "Rowen…stop it!"

"But…"

"No, stop it! Because for one you're not helping and two, this isn't about you two right now."

Rowen rolled her eyes. "Oh of course it isn't because it's _always _about Zutara and Kataang. You need to give it a break."

"Do you really wanna get into it right now?"

"Look its bad enough you_ other_ ships waste your own time hoping for something that's _never _going to happen, but don't waste our time too," Avani said coldly. "Right Rawles?"

The Maiko screen lit up and the face of the Maiko captain, Rawles. "So you guys are still doing that hope thing?"

Ming Ue frowned and folded her arms. "Damn straight."

"You two are insane," Windsong groaned.

"I'm insane she's the one with the pedophile ship," Ming Ue said pointing at Avani.

The Kataanger sat up and growled. "And what do you mean by_ that_?"

"Aang and Katara one is 112 the other is 14 or for some he's 12 and she's 14 either way it's nasty," Ming Ue stated.

"Oh please," Rawles spoke up. "At least Zuko hasn't tried to kill her!"

"Please you ship Zuko with a girl who has the sexual appeal of a roach," Rowen snapped.

"Like Yue was so pretty with her crazy hair-do," Windsong retorted.

"Well at least…"

"QUIET!" Avani yelled. She looked at Rawles and Windsong. "Why are we arguing with them? After all they don't matter, we do." Avani looked at the screen. "Kataang, Maiko, Sukka, Jinko and Soko are the only canon ships that matter. You and your little fandom are nothing compared to us."

Ming Ue looked at Rowen and smirked dangerously. "Oh you're the only ships that matter huh? Did you get that Tongone?"

The Taang captain, Tongone popped onto the screen with a smile. "Oh yes I got it all. Ready when you are."

The canon captains looked confused.

"What are you three crazy fools up to?" Rawles wondered.

Ming Ue grinned. "You have just been Punked, Zutaraian style. Do you have it ready Kurati?"

"Yes Captain."

"Send it."

"Send what?" Windsong asked.

"That little statement that Avani just made, your ships are the only ones that matter huh?" Tongone said with a smirk. "I wonder how the other ships are gonna take that little declaration."

"But it shouldn't bother you guys," Rowen said with a laugh. "After all we don't matter."

"Damn! That's…that's so (bleep) creative," Avani cursed.

"It gets better," Tongone said holding out a declaration of war. "We have permission to start the Shipping War of 2007." She stuck out her tongue. "See ya losers." The Taang screen went black.

"Catch you on the battle field," Zutara screen signed out.

"Hasta la Vista bitches!" Yukka screen was done.

Avani looked at the three blank screens. For a moment all was quiet before she let out a yell.

"DEATH TO ALL ZUTARAIANS!!"

**A/N: It's 3:10 am I am tired. I want to put this up so everyone knows I read their reviews/comments, and for information. You don't have to read this…but do it anyway **

**The Canon Ships:**

**Kataang: Logical, cocky and arrogant. The Kataang ship is a deadly forced armed with level 7 canon cannons.**

**Captain: Avani**

**Private: Sri**

**Agents: Katara360, Roku851, Avatar Yuffie, CrimsonGriffin, Skittles **

**Maiko: Cold, Cruel and Smug. Deadly and stuck up Maikoians are backed up with excellent aim and level 7 canon cannons.**

**Captain: Rawles**

**Private: ForeverMaiko**

**Agents: LilMizzStar**

**Sukka: Annoyingly sarcastic, deadly charming and pompous. Sukka ships are a powerful force with Kyoshi fan missiles and a thick armor to make up for its level 5 canon cannon.**

**Captain: Windsong**

**Private: Phong**

**Agents: N/A**

**Allies:**

**Jinko**

**Soko**

**The Fan Ships**

**Zutara: Mad, insane and canon warping geniuses. What they lack in logic they make up for in ability to make anything look Zutaraian. Level 7 canon warping skills.**

**Captain: Ming Ue**

**Private: Amaterasu**

**Agents: FireNutZuko, Zutaraistru, HoldonTight, Kari, Loopafroot, FallenCrescent, PapaRoavatar, Kurati, Dude, Yong Wing.**

**Taang: Twisted, brutal and always cute. Taang are not as good as canon bending as their friends Zutara, but they make up for it with their weapons of mass disruption (I know what I wrote). **

**Captain: Tongone **

**Private: Vig0r**

**Agents: MMM (moaningmomomormon) **

**Yukka: Psychotic, Violent and stubborn. This is a ship full of scorned woman together with a common goal. Kill Sukka. Enough said. The craziest ship in the Ocean of Chi.**

**Captain: Rowen**

**Private: iheartyukka23**

**Agents:**

**Allies:**

**Zue**

**Crack-Ships: Captain: SMBH**

**Slash-Ships**

**Tokka**

**Ty Lokka**

**Katoph**

**MaiLee**

**Jetko**

**Zucest: Captain: Maladin**

**As you can see I don't need anymore people for Zutara. I only need a few more Kataang, but I need a lot more for everyone else. So SIGN UP FOR SHIPPING WAR 2007!**

**ASK NOT WHAT YOUR SHIPPING CAN DO FOR YOU! BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR SHIPPING!**


	4. Chapter 4: ATTACK OF THE FANON

**Thank you all for your request and I still need more so keep them coming. Also for those of you who are confused I didn't but Ty Lokka and Tokka under slash shippings. Slash is a ship which needs a captain.**

"Okay so we have turned the entire fandom against the Canons," Ming Ue stated to Tongone and Rowen. "Now what?"

"I say we attack the Sukka ship first!" Rowen yelled.

"Of course you do. Any ideas Tongone?"

"Well my messenger, Vig0r, sent me a notice from the Tokka captain, Lightningbender53. He said that he will join with us if we can defeat the Canons in a fight."

"Whoa! Tokka! You think I'm going to ally myself with them?" Rowen yelled.

"Yes you are! Your gonna get along with Tokka and Ty Lokka. If Tongone can get along with them you can to!" Ming Ue yelled.

The Yukka captain frowned. "Alright fine, well if I have to work with them I want us to attack the Sukka ship first!"

"Alright! You can attack your (bleep)ing ex," Ming Ue grumbled. "Now then if we are going attack the Sukka give us some information on them."

Rowen took out a Paper Mache diagram of the Sukka ship. Tongone and Ming Ue exchanged glances.

"Did she make that?" Ming Ue whispered to her friend.

"I think the real question is where she was keeping it," Tongone replied.

"Ahem! Anyway the Sukka ship has a thick armor around the entire thing. Last time we attacked them with the anti-canon blaster it didn't even make a dent," Rowen explained.

"Well maybe we are going about this the wrong way," Tongone suggested. "After all in war you must weaken you opponents."

"That's true and lets face it the Canons have superior logical skills. They have seen our attacks and have all kinds of counter moves. We have to piss them off so they can't think straight," Ming Ue said with a grin.

"Awesome, I have a schedule of all the things that the Maiko, Kataang and Sukka captains do at different times," Tongone said handing in the piece of paper.

"Damn, how did you get this?" asked Rowen.

Tongone smirked and looked up. "I have my ways."

"Alright ladies the Kataangs and Maikoians have a daily prayer service to their gods Mike and Bryan. And the Sukkas have something called…Crew Check Up?"

"Ugh, that's basically when Windsong, S.S.S (Sokkas Sarcasm Student) and Phong watch their crew walk around in that blue bathing suit they call a uniform," Rowen said scoffing and crossing her arms.

"Are they the only men on that ship?" Tongone wondered.

"Roughly."

"Well, now that we know what they are going to do, we are gonna haze the hell out of them," Ming Ue declared. "Rowen you take the Sukka ship. Tongone you get Maiko and I will handle Kataang."

"Roger that," The Yukka captain said and she and Tongone stood and exited the room.

Ming Ue turned and looked at the Zutaraian flag, putting her hand over her heart. "I swear to Iroh I will make us canon."

As she said four agents came in along with Yong Wing. "Captain Ming Ue," Yong Wing started, "Agents FireNutZuko, Dude, Zutaraistru and Loopafroot have said that they have found some new Zutara foreshadowing."

Ming Ue smiled and sat down in her chair. "Really let's hear it."

"Alright we were all watching _CRoD _again and then we thought of something. Why did Zuko stop fighting Aang and go help Azula when Katara was fighting her?" Loopafroot started.

"Now a Kataang would think it was just so that he could help his sister," Dude continued.

"But with out creativity and canon bending we have come up with the real reason," Zutaraistru declared.

"Zuko knew that Azula was still a more powerful bender than Katara," Dude added.

"And that if Azula got mad she would try and kill Katara," Loopafroot said

"So out of love for Katara he stopped the fight hoping that he could stop Katara before Azula killed her," FireNutZuko finished.

Yong Wing raised an eyebrow. "But that makes no sense…"

"I know," Ming Ue said. "It's so complicated that it must be true! Everything fits, Zuko is trying to protect Katara by being evil so that he can stop her before someone else kills her!"

Ming Ue bowed to the Zutara heart. "Oh thank you for opening my eyes almighty god of Zutara!"

Yong Wing turned to the four agents. "You can go now you shall be promoted to 008 Agents with a license to canon-bend."

Ming Ue stood up and looked at Yong Wing. "Yong Wing we are going on a mission to the Kataang ship. I need you to get something for me."

0o0o0o0

On the Taang ship Tongone looked at the schedule of the Maikoian warship. She turned to Vig0r.

"It says that during the Maikoian prayer service there is to be no noise at all," she told her Private.

"Well then it's a good thing us Taang have many weapons of mass disruption," Vig0r said grubbing his hands together. "Shall I prepare the speakers?"

"You know me well Vig0r put it on track 89."

0o0o0o0

"Um are you sure about this Captain," Lolly asked as Rowen dressed in the Sukka "uniform".

"Why wouldn't I be?" the captain snapped. "Because I'm bitter, violent and psychotic?!?"

"Partly Captain, but also because what if one of them notices you?"

"Look all I'm going to do is put two drops of _Flaccidin_ into their drinks."

Lolly shook her head and sat down on the floor. "And what exactly does _Flaccidin_ do?"

"It'll make three men very, very unhappy," Rowen said with a mad grin on her face. She put on the blond wig. "Time for some payback you Sukka bastards!"

0o0o0o0o0

"In the name of Mike, Bryan, Canon Forever Amen," chanted the hall full of Kataangers as they sat in the holy church of Kataang. Two statues of Mike and Bryan stood at the front of an altar.

Avani walked up in her orange and blue robes, she motioned for the Kataangers to sit down. "Welcome all today we are going to have a decision on Book 1: Water, Chapter 14: The Fortuneteller. Aunt Wu told Katara that she was going to marry a very powerful bender. Now I think we all know who she means by powerful bender."

She raised her hand and the Kataangers all chanted in unison. "Aang."

"Exactly Aang is the Avatar and by default the most powerful bender, Alleluia! Now some Zutaraians will try and tell you that Zuko is a very powerful bender, they will say that there are many powerful benders. But we know the truth, Alleluia! That the one Katara will marry will be Aang and they shall repopulate the Air Nomads.

"ALLELUIA!" yelled Katara360.

"Correct my daughter and all my Kataangers. We follow the message and word of the almighty Mike and Bryan and we shall make sure that their word is the one and only word!"

The crowd erupted in loud cheers.

"Three days from now we shall attack the Zutaraians and show them that it's either our way or death!"

"AHHHHH!" screamed one Kataanger.

Avani turned and saw the Zutaraian heart appear in the sky. "Son of a (bleep)!"

The statues of Mike and Bryan were warped into statues of Zuko and Katara together from in the _CRoD._

"No! NON-CANON! NON-CANON!" they screamed covering their eyes. Avani yelled and looked at Sri. "CALL RAWLES RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW DAMN IT!"

"Yes Captain!" the girl said running to the communication room.

"I will have Ming Ue's head!"

0o0o0o0o0

Ming Ue sat on her chair and laughed. "YES! YES! SHE IS SO PISSED OFF! HAHAHA! Good work Kurati."

Kurati smirked and looked at the Kataangers. "This is fun."

0o0o0o0o0

The Maikoian warship was dark during prayer/meditation. The red curtains were closed and the only light was the candles along the wall and on the altar of Mike. Hanging from the ceilings were tapestries of the infamous Maiko kiss.

The Maiko creed hung over the statue of Mike: _We told them Maiko was going to happen._

The Maiko captain, Rawles, sat underneath the statue her eyes watching for any sign of noise. A smug smirk came upon her face. Another flawless service, the time was ticking away slowly.

_10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…_

**  
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha.**

The song blasted through the walls of the Maiko ship ruining the service. Rawles grabbed her machine gun. "WHO THE HELL IS PLAYING THAT CRAP!!"

ForeverMaiko ran up to the shades and pulled them back to reveal the Taang ship outside, their Weapons of Mass Disruption blasting into the Maiko ship. Tongone's face appeared on a projector.

"Hey Rawles how was the meditation?" she asked with a grin.

"Oh you think its funny Tongone!" Rawles screamed. "You have crossed the line I'm going to blow your ship out of the water!"

"Bring it on Emo-Ship! Turn the music up louder!" Tongone ordered.

The Maikoians covered the ears and yelled. The Spice Girls was the most annoying thing in the world to a Maikoian.

Rawles groaned and covered her ears tighter. "Damn it! I am so gonna get Tongone for this!"

0o0o0o0o0

"This is the life," S.S.S said with a grin as the very healthy young women walked around him and his two superior officers.

"No doubt about it," Captain Windsong said looking at one leggy blonde who was walking by with his drink. "Thank you dear."

The girl smiled very sweetly. "No problem Captain," she said as she gave him, S.S.S and Phong drinks.

"So Phong has there been any news from Avani or Rawles?" Windsong asked.

"Nope," Phong said as he received a massage. "I haven't gotten a word from Sri either."

"Oh well," the captain said lowering his shade. "The less amount stuff for us to deal with the better. After all," he said looking at the crew of woman, "there are better ways to spend our time."

S.S.S laughed. "Your terrible captain, but isn't it time for our three o'clock?" he asked with a smirk.

"Your right my friend," the captain replied with a smirk. "We have a meeting with some new recruits."

The three men rose from their seats and headed into their separate rooms for the staff meeting.

0o0o0o0o0

Rowen snuck out through the kitchen window and climbed down into a small raft were Lolly was waiting for her.

"That was quick Captain."

"Yea well I told you I was going to be fast," Rowen said taking of the blonde wig. "Though I wish I could see the look on their faces."

Lolly started to row the boat when Rowen saw the peace symbol that was panted on the side of the boat.

"Lolly when we attack them aim for this."

0o0o0o0o0

Windsong banged on S.S.S's door, the Sukka shipper had a similar look of dissatisfaction on his face as his friend.

"S.S.S are you feeling a bit _limp_ at the moment?" the captain asked clearly annoyed.

S.S.S's eyes widened and he nodded. "I was worried I was losing my touch."

"CAPTAIN WINDSONG!" yelled Spartangirl12. "Kyoshiwarrior1 has spotted something on the security feeds!"

"Damn!" he growled heading up to the security room. "What did you find?"

Kyoshiwarrior1 brought a close up of the blonde who was serving them drinks before. "That is Captain Rowen of the Yukka ship," Kyoshiwarrior1 stated. "She broke into the ship and put something into your drinks. IcyAshford should have the drug results ready."

Windsong turned to S.S.S. "Lets go down to the science lab and hope to God that Rowen isn't as crazy as I think she it."

"If I'm stuck like this I'm blaming you I told you not to go out with her!"

IcyAshford popped in front of the two men. "I have good news and bad news."

The men looked down at their pants and then at her. "What's the good news?" they asked in unison.

"The good news is your condition is only temporary."

"Thank you Almighty Iroh," Windsong said letting out a breath.

"The bad news is it lasts for a week."

S.S.S's jaw dropped. "A…week."

"Son of a…" the captain started when Phong came in.

"Captain the Canons want to see you."

Windsong stormed up to his office and saw the other two canon captains looking as pissed of as he did.

"They got to you too I see."

"No shit!" Avani yelled.

"We are taking them down _tonight_!" Rawles said slamming her fist onto the table. "They are not the only ones who know how to pull a prank."

"You in?" Avani asked sharply.

"As long as I get to blow up Yukka."

**Oh shit the Fanons are in BIG trouble now. The Canons can be very devious when they put their mind to it. Big thanks for all who signed up. You will all have cameo roles in this story, however I still need a few more for Taang and Yukka as well as a Captain for Zue and Slash ships in general. Thank You .**

**P.S if there are any grammar/spelling errors I will correct them A.S.A.P in the morning.**


	5. Chapter 5: REVENGE OF THE CANON

**Hey guys its revenge time and something tell me the Canons have something bad up their sleeves. Let's tune in and watch shall we. P.S after today I will be updating this once a week. **

The Canons were having their meeting in the Soko ship. Captain Liselle129 happily gave then her office.

"Why are we meeting here?" Windsong asked looking around at the annoyingly pleasant room. "It's so…pleasant."

"Well Soko's are not really a threat to any ship and they are canon. But most importantly they want to help take down Zutara," Rawles told her ally.

Avani nodded in agreement. "Damn right. Plus, we have to get back at those damn Fanons!"

"Don't worry your pretty little head," the Maiko captain declared. "We have a hazing plan that is going to crush them."

"Crushing them isn't enough!" Windsong growled. "Because of Rowen for a week I am going to be very, _very_ unhappy."

"I'm sure you can go without you meeting for a week Windsong," Rawles snorted.

"When you develop a system its kind of hard to break."

"Anyway," Avani said trying to get back on topic. "I'm sure that we can come up with something to get them back."

The other two smirked.

"Oh yes," Rawles said rubbing her hands deviously. "When night falls we plan to invade their ships and show then how we play a prank."

Avani smirked. "Alright then we strike at nightfall."

Liselle129 came in with a big sweet smile on her face. "Hello are you guys done with your meeting?"

"We are," Windsong told the girl as he got up. "Thanks for letting us use your room."

The captain's big Joo Dee smile didn't fade. "No problem anything to help stop those non-canon mother (bleep) ers."

0o0o0o0

Night fell upon the Sea of Chi and all the ships closed down for night. All but three. The Sukka, Kataang and Maiko ships were up and ready to do damage.

Windsong and S.S.S crept into the Yukka ship silently. The captain turned to his friend and whispered, "Remember Rowen is a heavy sleeper, but be careful not to wake anyone."

"Got you captain."

The walked down to the end of the hall and saw Rowen's room. Windsong took out a set of keys and looked threw them.

"You have a copy of her key?" S.S.S asked slightly impressed.

"Yep, from when we were dating, I "forgot" to return it."

He unlocked the door with a low click and pushed it open carefully. "Hand me the stuff?" he whispered to S.S.S.

His partner-in-crime handed him a small vile with a perfume nozzle. "You know it's a shame it has come to this."

"You're having regrets?"

"My head says yes, my other head says no."

"That's what I thought," Windsong crept low onto the floor heading to Rowen's bed. He raised the vile and sprayed some of it on her face. She coughed lightly and turned a bit in her sleep. The Sukka captain let out a breath and sunk out. "Are the girls done decorating?"

Spartangirl12 walked up to her superiors. "The entire place is finished captain."

"Good then lets get out of here before someone wakes up."

And with that Phase 1 of: Operation Payback was finished.

0o0o0o0

Rawles scaled the Taang ship wall with skills befitting her Maiko nature. She had a large duffle bag strapped to her back. She reached the deck and swung over the rail quietly.

"Alright I'm in," she spoke into her Bluetooth.

"Alright they are asleep and the guards won't change their shifts for ten minutes," LilMizzStar voice said from the headset.

"Pfft, I'll be out there in half that," she placed it on silent and walked into the Taang media center.

A huge C.D player took up the enter room, the speakers connected all over the ship and to the 20 foot speakers.

"Well if they like the Spice Girls I wonder what they will think of this," Rawles said taking a C.D out of her bag and placing it into the slot. She set the automatic timer to 7 A.M and the volume to max.

"Now," she said taking out some small black spots and placed them on the Taang portrait of Toph and Aang in the garden. She eyed the inscription under the portrait. "'_If they look cute together they should be together'_. They sound as crazy as the Zutaraians." she placed one black dot on the picture.

Five minutes passed by before Rawles crept down into the raft she sunk in on. "Alright LilMizzStar I'm heading back."

"Did everything go well?"

"It went swimmingly," Rawles said with a smirk.

0o0o0o0

Avani held in the urge to die laughing. She was inside of the A.V room. This was the room that kept all the Zutara episodes playing around the clock.

"Well its time to actually make them _watch_ the show," Avani said taking out a black tape. She popped it inside of the VCR.

She looked around at the blue and red Zutara wall paper. She took out a large, space-looking, gun on the side it said 'Canon Corrector'.

"Let's _correct _this little…fanon ship." Avani said smirking. She took aim at a Zutara picture at fired. The Zutaraian art changed into a picture of Aang and Katara in a loving embrace.

"That's much better," she told herself with a nod. "Let's see how much I can get done before dawn."

0o0o0o0

Morning came hours later and the first light came threw Ming Ue's curtains and into her face. She smiled and kept her eyes closed as she felt the sun on her face. Slowly she opened her eyes "Another beautiful Zutara AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

She fell of her bed in shock her room, her blue and red Zutara colored room was orange and blue. Orange and Blue! KATAANG!

"No, no, no," she whispered backing into the nightstand. A picture feel beside her. With fear she slowly picked it and looked at it.

"Oh my Iroh!" it was a picture of Katara giving Aang a kiss. The Zutara captain dropped the picture with a crash.

Suddenly screams erupted from outside, she ran to the door and pulled it open. Her entire ship was orange and blue, the pictures of Zuko and Katara foreshadowing was replaced with Kataang canon.

The Zutaraians ran around screaming and crying. "Captain Look!" DJ screamed pulling Ming Ue into the room. The Agent picked up the remote and started flipping through the channels of T.V. All that was on was _The Fortuneteller, Cave of Two Lovers, _and _CRoD._ "Nothing else is on," DJ said sinking to the floor crying.

Ming Ue's eyes widened. "That mother (bleeping) AVANI! AMATERASU!"

The red-head female ran in. "Captain what are you orders!"

"I want every anti-canon working on the job and every canon-bender fixing this mess! I have to call Tongone and Rowen. If they got to me they got to them too!" Ming Ue said running out the door.

0o0o0o0

The Taang ship was quiet at 6:59 A.M and their mad captain slept peacefully. The ship knew to keep quiet until Tongone woke up, because a mad Tongone was an even eviler Tongone. But then it happened. 7 AM the radio blasted on.

**MMMBop, ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do. yeah yeah,  
MMMBop ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do**

Oh yeah, in an MMMBop they're gone. Yeah.

Tongone screamed and covered her ears. "DAMN IT HANSON!"

Taangs hate Hanson just like Maiko hates Spice Girls. The entire ship was in an uproar. Vig0r ran in his ears covered, screaming over the music.

"THE RV ROOM IS LOCKED WE CAN NOT GET IN!"

Tongone growled and her eyes were almost glowing red. "THEN SHOT THE DOOR OPEN! DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO JUST STOP HANSON!!"

Tongone screamed and started pinching her ears. "DAMN IT! I HATE GOD DAMN HANSON!!"

The captain grabbed her Assault Rifle. She stormed in front of the RV room and fired her gun around the doorknob. Kicking the door open she went to the CD player and turned off the Hanson music.

"Thank Iroh!" she said with a sigh.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Three loud eruptions rang off from down the halls. The force of the last one sent Tongone to the floor.

"Great! What the hell was that?" Kohroxmysox came in panting. "Captain all the Taang art work we stole from Deviant Art has been destroyed."

The captain's jaw dropped. "All of it?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Who would do this?" then realization hit her. "RAWLES!! THAT MAIKO SNOB! I'LL GET HER!"

Vigor ran into the room. "Captain! Ming Ue is online!"

0o0o0o0

The Yukka ship was quiet, but as anyone could tell you, it never lasted long. Agent iheartyukka23 ran into Rowen's room urgently.

"CAPTAIN ROWEN THE AHHHH!!!!" iheartyukka23 fell to the floor in shock.

Rowen sat up rubbing her head. "What's wrong?" she said. When she spoke her eyes widened a bit. Her voice was deeper.

"What the…"

She looked down at her hands, they were larger more masculine. "Oh no! Oh no no no no!" Rowen yelled lifting up her sheets and pants then looking down. Her eyes bulged and for a moment she thought she was going to puke.

"I'm…a man…"

"Captain…Rowen," iheartyukka23 said slowly trying not to panic. "The entire place…its been covered with pictures of Suki and Sokka kissing…we believe it was an invasion by the Sukka ship."

Rowen's eyebrow twitched. "Sukka…that means…WINDSONG YOUR ASS IS MINE!" she yelled jumping out of bed and running towards her captain's office.

"WAIT MING UE AND TONGONE ARE ONLINE FOR YOU!"

Rowen didn't care as she entered the communication room. Ming Ue and Tongone were already on screen.

"Rowen there you…OH SHIT!" Tongone exclaimed. "What the (bleep) happened to you?"

"Windsong…" Rowen answered through grit teeth going through switches.

"He…he turned you into a man."

"Oh not just a man, a _little_ man!" Rowen fumed turning on the Sukka screen.

Windsong's face appeared on the screen with a smile. "Well Rowen your looking mighty handsome today aren't you?"

"YOU (words that I can not write because children could be watching)!"

"Ouch," he Sukka captain said sarcastically. "I figured since you have always had such balls I'd give you a pair of your own. You don't like?"

Ming Ue almost closed her eyes as she saw Rowen grinning. "Windsong you know she's crazy," she warned in a sing song voice.

"So you think this is FUNNY! Haha! Well I'll show you funny (bleep)!" Rowen opened the case that said missiles.

"NO DON'T DO IT ROWEN!" Tongone warned.

Windsong grinned as he watched Rowen fire missiles straight towards his ship. "Activate shield," he told S.S.S. As ordered a blue force field surrounded the ship as the missiles made contact.

Ming Ue's eyes popped open. "Oh no…"

"Rowen you jackass!" Tongone screamed. "The Declaration of War doesn't go into effect until tomorrow! You just attacked a ship outside of war."

"Exactly," Rawles said, her face appearing in the Maiko screen.

"And you guys know what that means," Avani added as she popped up.

0o0o0o0

The Sea of Chi began to shake and churn, only the heavy anchors kept the ships from turning around. Slowly a form began to rise from the water.

Captains from all ships ran out to their decks as almighty The Overseer arose from the depths.

"Its him…" Ming Ue gasped.

"The Overseer of the Sea of Chi…" Tongone added.

"Lord Momo."

**Uh-oh thanks to Rowen's anger issues the almighty Momo has arose and he is not happy at all. See you next time. **

**P.S: Thank you S.S.S for the song suggestion. (Also please excuse minor spelling/grammar errors. I get delusional at 4 am.)**


	6. Chapter 6: ROWEN'S PAYBACK

**Hi guys here is this weeks chapter of Shipping Wars. The reason I am only updating once a week is because I have a lot of other fanfics to work on besides this. Well enjoy.**

The ship's captains on the Sea of Chi looked up in awe at the 20-foot lemur Lord Momo. His dark eyes turned and looked at the Yukka ship.

Rowen gulped and waved. "Hello your Momo-ness. How's the wife?"

"SILENCE!" the almighty Momo roared, in a voice much like Morgan Freeman. "Harley Pamela Dent," he started. "Also known as Rowen, you have breached the war contract by attacking the Sukka warship…"

"But Lord Momo…"

"QUIET!" the lemur roared the force of the roar making Rowen fall back onto her, now male, backside. "You will be presented to the Joo-Dee court immediately! Until then you and your allies are docked!" Momo turned to the Taang and Zutara sips. "Is that clear?"

Tongone and Ming Ue looked at each other and nodded with mutual frowns. "Yes."

0o0o0o0

Captain SMBH of the Crackships sat in her office drinking some coffee, she was doing an essay about Zhaoburns and why it should be moved to the canon ship area. Ouroboros ran in.

"Captain! Rowen has been taken by Lord Momo to the Joo-Dee court!"

SMBH spit out her coffee and sat up. "Are you sure?!"

"Yes, apparently Captain Windsong turned her into a man and she fired at his ship," he explained. "Now all the fandom ships are stuck in their ports."

"You have to be shitting me? How can Lord Momo let Windsong get off? Isn't genderbending illegal?"

"Only in the sea of air it's been outlawed, besides Momo is on the side of canon. I mean he is married to Appa and that's the most canon thing out there."

"True," SMBH said sighing. "So it seems as though our allies are going to need out help."

"I'm sure the Joo-Dee court will let Rowen off, but in the meantime I think we better build a counter attack against the Canons."

"Oh we will," SMBH said with a smirk on her face. "Send our good friend some _supplies_."

Ouroboros saluted. "Yes ma'am!"

Taking another sip of her coffee SMBH began to write. "Zhao and his sideburns have been with him since the beginning, never judging him and giving him love and warmth…"

0o0o0o0

"THIS IS SO (BLEEPING) REDICULOUS!" Ming Ue said slamming her fists on the table. Glasses fell and broke next to Tongone's feet.

"Watch it Ming!" the girl yelled moving her feet away.

Amaterasu and Vig0r looked at their captains and shook their heads. Two crazy people in one room, Oi Vay.

"I just can't believe that Lord Momo didn't pin anything on those Sukka bums!"

"I can't believe Rowen's name is Harley Pamela Dent," Tongone said with a snort.

"I know, no wonder she's crazy. But this is serious! His Momo-ness said that _we_ can't attack, but the canons can! They can blast us out of the water, but if we try to attack them, we will be punished!"

"We are screwed!" Tongone groaned banging her head on the table. "Thank you Harley!"

The elevator dinged and the doors slowly opened. There was Rowen standing there as a woman and with a smirk on her face.

"Hey there cupcakes," she said walking in when she was tackled by Tongone.

"YOU CRAZY ASS WOMAN!!" Tongone yelled choking her comrade.

"To…Ton…Tongone…stop," Rowen gasped. Ming Ue and Vig0r pulled the Taang captain off of Rowen. The Yukka captain gasped and rubbed her throat.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Rowen screamed.

"HELL YES!" Tongone yelled. "Because of you our ships are sitting ducks!"

"Actually," Rowen said sitting up, "we night not be."

"What do you mean?" Ming Ue asked.

"The Joo-Dee court is made up of woman…woman who had 'meetings' with our dear Sukka captain. So they are _very _supportive of my cause as you can see," she said pointing to her female form.

"Alright so you have boobs again who cares!" Tongone yelled. "We are still sitting ducks out here with no edge."

Rowen smirked and pulled out a sheet paper. "Ladies I introduce to your our edge."

Ming Ue and Tongone looked at the paper and smirked at each other. "Let's do it."

0o0o0o0

Avani, Windsong and Rawles sat in the Sukka banquet hall; they were enjoying a victory meal in honor of the fandom ships being docked.

"Turning her into a man was simply brilliant, I thought she was going to have a heart attack," Rawles said laughing into her glass.

"What I can't believe is her name. Harley Pamela Dent?" Windsong snorted. "Her mother must have been a DC fanatic."

"Either way it doesn't matter Lord Momo is on our side, the fandom ships are all docked and we can attack them at our leisure," Avani said, taking a sip of wine. "Life is good."

They all raised their glasses in a toast when a powerful impact sent them flying into the walls. Rawles growled and rubbed her head. "WHO THE (BLEEP) DID THAT!?!"

S.S.S ran into the room. "GUYS! It's the fandoms! THEY ARE ATTACKING!"

"How?" Windsong asked pulling Avani off the floor. "The fandoms are docked!"

"Sorry to disappoint you puddin'," said a spiteful voice. The canon Captains turned to see Rowan, Ming Ue and Tongone on the Plasma Screen T.V.

Avani was about to respond when the force of another impact forced them all down.

"Now I know what you are all thinking. How can we be attacking you when we are supposed to be docked?" Tongone stated with a smirk.

"Well for that you can thank Ashley, Christina, Danielle, Melissa, Marie and Jennifer of the Joo-Dee court for rewriting the war contract," Rowen said with a smirk. "They all send their love Windsong."

The Sukka captain glared. "You know good and well that your pathetic bombs can't do any damage to my ship."

"This is true, but, it will still make me feel better and since Rawles and Avani are here that means that their ships are captain-less…"

"And we wouldn't want that to go to waste would we, Tongone?" Ming Ue asked.

"Oh of course not Ming Ue," Tongone said. "FIRE WHEN READY!"

"Oh shit," Avani said taking out her phone. "SRI! CODE RED PUT ALL SHEILDS UP WE ARE ABOUT TO BE FIRED ON!"

Rawles screamed into her phone. "LISTEN! ALL OF YOU BATTLE MODE PERPARE FOR IMPACT!"

0o0o0o0

Ming Ue had her hand over the missile button. "Tonight we end this…"

Then something slammed into the ship from above knocking Ming Ue on her ass. "What the…WHO WAS THAT?!?"

Rowen and Tongone appeared on the screen. "It's Teoph, Jinko and Soko! They are attacking from above with their air force!"

Ming Ue growled. "Well if they want to get involved it's their problem. Knock them out of the sky girls!"

"You got it sister," Tongone said. "READY TRACK 25!"

"Setting!" yelled Vig0r.

Rowen and her fleet were setting up something on the deck.

"ARE YOU MAD? THEY'LL SHOOT YOU!" Tongone voice yelled from Rowen's earpiece.

"Don't worry about me, I'm going to use a gift from SMBH," She said taking a large bazooka and aiming it at the Sukka ship.

"Don't waste your ammo Harl' it's not gonna do anything," Windsong teased from the earpiece.

"Kiss. My. Ass."

She fired and the missile sped into the Sukka ship, crashing right through the front shield ripping it right off.

………

Rowen:

Windsong: O.O (Bleep)

Canons: o.O

Ming Ue: Shit

Tongone: KICK ASS!

**And my loyal fans I leave you with that . Next week the war continues!**

**Who will win?**

**Also for those who don't know about DC comics the joke about Rowen's name is**

**Harley is Harley Quinn**

**Pamela is Poison Ivy**

**Dent is Harvey Dent a.k.a Two-Face**

**All psychopaths .**


	7. Chapter 7: MEETING OF THE MODS

**Hi guys I'm back and this is the new chapter of Shipping Wars! Last time the Sukka ship as given a heavy blow. Let's see what'll happen next.**

"COME ON ICY!" Windsong bellowed as he ran down to the tech room. "There has to be a backup shield up somewhere?"

"There is Captain, but we have never needed to use it so it'll be a few minutes!" IcyAshford yelled back at her captain.

"Damn," Windsong groaned. "S.S.S! How's everything up there?!?"

"Not good sir! The Yukka ship is attacking like mad!"

"Aren't Teoph, Jinko and Soko bombing down on them?"

"Yes, but since they are basically one shot ships no one really fund them," S.S.S explained.

"Ah yes."

"THIS IS (BLEEPING) CRAZY!" Avani yelled pulling at her hair.

Rawles stomped her foot on the floor and glared at Windsong. "This is your entire fault you know that!"

"How is this all _my_ fault?" Windsong asked glaring back.

"Well maybe if you didn't _met_ with every girl in Sea of f_-ing_ Chi, Rowen would be in a cell and we could have attacked as planned!"

Avani stepped in. "Alright guys lets not start fighting yet. We still have a big problem. Rawles's ship and my own are captain-less. We need to get over there!"

"Well you can't until the cease fire flag goes up from the Mods," Windsong told them.

Something made contact with the ship and flung them all back into the wall. "DAMN IT!" Avani yelled standing up slowly. "Once I get out of here I am going to canon bomb that damn Ming Ue so much…"

"_If _this ship doesn't sink first," Rawles groaned cracking her neck. "We are all sitting ducks right now."

Windsong grabbed a phone and dialed. "Hello…yeah it's me Wind…yes it's nice to hear from you too. Listen…I need a little bit of help…"

Ming Ue, Rowen and Tongone broke a new record as they fire countless missiles into the canon ships. The shields would bounce a number of them off, but a good number would get in and do some damage.

"Guys," Tongone spoke into her headpiece, "I think we just might win!"

"Yeah Rawles, Avani and Windsong are all locked up and stuck! VICTORY IS OURS!" Ming Ue cheered in victory.

Then a blast hit the Zutara ship from the back. Ming Ue jolted out of her seat and fell face first into the floor.

"…ho da uck was dat?"

"Aww crap! Jetara fighters," Tongone groaned hitting herself in the face. "Why are they here they are only Semi-Canon?"

"Oh I know why," Rowen said with a frown. "Windsong's best friend is the Jetara captain. OUCH!"

A bomb from the Jetara ship launched crashed into the back of the Yukka ship. Rowen's head knocked against the headboard from the impact.

"This is getting brutal!" Tongone told Ming Ue.

"I know you have to use Track 25!"

"I know," Tongone sighed and readied the Weapons of Mass Disruption. "ALRIGHT EVERYONE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE COVER YOUR EARS!" She opened the switch for Track 25. "This song is deadly."

**When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)**

As the song boomed out from the Taang's loud speakers the enemy covered their ears in distress.

"NO I HATE THIS SONG!" yelled the Jetara captain. The ship started sailing away and the Teoph aircrafts loss control and the pilots ejected screaming.

At the Sukka ship the three captains covered their ears.

"I THINK MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" Avani yelled in pain.

"I GOT THE SHIELD WORKING!" IcyAshford yelled.

"WELL PUT IT UP!" her captain ordered.

The ship shook a little and the second shield slid over the Sukka ship. The music was trapped outside and for the moment they were safe.

"This is all good, but what about our ships?" Rawles asked, obviously annoyed.

"Don't worry it'll be over really soon," Windsong stated pointing to the Momo flag that was being rising from the waters. "I had my friend contact the Mods the guys are gonna have to cease fire."

"Excellent," Rawles said with a smirk.

"Oh for the love of Appa," Rowen groaned as the cease fire, Momo flag rose from the water. "Guys we have a problem. Lord Momo raised the cease fire flag."

"WHAT? Last year when they were kicking our asses we didn't get to request a cease fire flag!" Tongone yelled outraged.

"You know that Lord Momo doesn't like us," Ming Ue rolled her eyes. "Alright girls looks like those S.O.Bs get off this time."

The Zutara, Taang and Yukka ships backed away slowly and retracted their weapons into the ship.

"This is total B.S and you know it Ming," Tongone groaned.

"Damn right, but the important thing is that we don't let them get us off guard."

"Well they better watch out!" Rowen declared. "You hear that Windsong! I'm gonna get you one way or another."

"BRING IT ON HARLEY!!" Windsong yelled back. "I'm not letting you get away with this!"

_Mod World_

Lord Momo was in the Grand Roku assembly of the Mob World. He called the assembly of the High Leaders of the Shipping World.

Man-Lady Appa (Lucy Lu's voice), Lord Shirshu (Sean Connery's voice), Lady Miyuki (Judge Judy's voice), Lord La (Brad Pitt's voice), Lady Tui (Jennifer Aniston's voice), Lord Bosco (Eddie Murphy's voice) and Lord Fang (Allan Rickman's voice) all were sitting around the Round Table waiting patiently for the meeting to begin.

"Why the HELL are we here?" Lady Miyuki yelled her tail swaying angrily.

"Yeah I have a butt master lesson in twenty minutes!" Lord Bosco groaned tapping his paw on the table.

"I'm sorry my allies but I have called to announce that a Shipping War has broken out..."

"AGAIN!" the animals yelled out in unison.

"Let me guess," Lady Tui said annoyed. "Kataang and Zutara started it and got all their little friends involved.

"Exactly but…"

"LET THEM BLOW EACH OTHER UP!" Lady Miyuki yelled. "All they ever do if fight about shipping."

"Yea who gives a (bleep) who Katara or Zuko ends up with," Lord Fang agreed.

"I HOPE THE BOTH DIE!" Lord Shirshu declared.

"I saw we just let the Zutaraians and the Kataangers kill each other both of them are asses anyway. The Kataangers are the kings of canon who are the biggest d bags in the world. And the Zutaraians are the queens of the fanon asses. They shipped and 50 ton bison and a 16 lb. rat with wings…no offence Lord Momo," Lady Miyuki told them.

"None taken but…"

"I HATE KATARA!" Lady Tui yelled. "Her inspiring speeches get everyone happy again I mean give me a break. I she wasn't the love interest of every person on the show no one would care about her!"

"YEAH!" the Mobs yelled.

"I can't stand Zuko!" Lord Bosco told them. "All his complaining and going after the Avatar. Give me a (bleeping) break! If he wasn't attractive no one would want him to die."

"Well I think Aang is kind of a dumb ass," Lord Fang told his friend. "I mean he's like the Superman/Jesus of Avatar. Plus, Avatar Roku is 10 times cooler."

"For me it's Mai. I mean so she can throw stuff at people and not kill them, I can do that too," Lord La said rolling his eyes.

"I HATE IROH!"

GASP!!!

"How can you hate Iroh Miyuki?" Man-Lady Appa asked in shock. "He's the nicest man in the universe."

"Yea and it's sickening," Lady Miyuki stood on the table. "He was one of the biggest, baddest generals in the Fire Nation and yet he managed to learn moves from the Water Tribe. Holier Than Thou character much," she said scoffing. "Azula is the best but because she's isn't a 6 foot piece of man meat she is called a bitch! If she was the older brother people would like her."

"What makes you say that?" Lord Shirshu asked.

"Well think about it Itachi from Naruto, huge fan base. Sesshoumaru from InuYasha, big ass fanbase. Hot older brother is excused from all fault!"

Lord Momo groaned and smacked his forehead. "Look people we have to do something about this Shipping War."

"Aww who cares about them!" Lady Tui said waving Lord Momo away. "I only watch Avatar for two reasons to see Ozai's face and to see Aang kill Ozai everything else is irrelevant."

"But Lady Tui the shippers are going too…"

"Die eventually meeting over!" Lord Bosco said standing up and walking to the door. The rest of the animals started to leave.

Lord Momo groaned and perched himself on his stand. If no one was going to help his start the Shipping War he was going to have to do it the hard way…

**Hi guys that's it for this chapter of Shipping Wars. Thank you too all my reviewers I love you all! Remember to go read Avatar High School's new chapter. . See you next week.**


	8. Chapter 8: BUILDING ALLIENCES

**A/N: If you didn't know I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender…duh. Also if anyone is offended by the way their ship is portrayed in this parody/comedy. Please stop reading right now. I try to be fair and make every ship seem equally crazy. Also if you keep asking me where your ship is I'm going to get annoyed and not put it in. **

**Hey you guys its time for the new chapter of SHIPPING WARS!! Duh-Duh-Duh-Da! I hope you're ready because Lord Momo has tried to stop our dear Captains, but the power of Shipping Wars is great. Let's take a look.**

It had been a week since the cease fire sign had been raised by the Mods. Lord Momo figured that if they had time to just relax the battle lust would die off and all would be calm once again.

That would have worked had it not been for a leak.

"CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!" yelled Yong Wing.

Ming Ue was sitting in her room watching _South Park _with Tongone when Yong Wing came in. Groaning Tongone threw popcorn at the man's head. "Shut up they just killed Kenny!"

"But it's an emergency Captain Ming Ue!"

"Fine what is it?"

"There has been a leak from Nickelodeon," the solider gulped. "It shows another Maiko moment."

"You have got to be (bleeping) me?" Ming Ue said in disbelief. "In the, God Blasted, first episode! Come on man what happened to relationship development?!!"

"Well they did say that Mai and Zuko were going to rekindle…"

The Ak-47 riffle was pointed at Yong Wing's head. "Say it again! I dare you! I double dare you! So help me I will feed you too the fan girls! The S&M Azula fan girls."

Yong Wing gulped and backed away to the door slowly. ";;; Maiko sucks ass…bye!"

Tongone laughed as she took some more popcorn. "I don't know how you put up with him."

"Long story," Ming Ue groaned. "But now we have bigger problems with this new kiss."

"Can't you just say that Zuko was hungry for affection and only wanted Mai because she was willing?" Tongone suggested.

"Damn," Ming Ue replied with approval. "That's thinking like a Zutaraian."'

The two girls exchanged high-fives. "Alright but now we have a major problem. The Kataangers and Maikoians are having a field day with this new leak. They will be able to get level 8 canon cannons!"

"And more allies!"

The door to Ming Ue's door opened and Rowen came in with nachos and cheese. "Alright I got the stuff…" she saw the pensive looks and frowned. "Major setback?"

"Yeah the canons just got another Maiko kiss. Which you're not happy about since they are tied with you for most canon kisses," Ming Ue stated.

"Great so I guess its time to work," Rowen said putting down the food. "What's the plan?"

"Time to get out allies. Tongone you'll have to get Sokkla, Rowen goes to the Zucest ship, me I'll meet with the Tokka captain."

0o0o0o

"WE GOT ANOTHER MAIK_OUT_! WE GOT ANOTHER MAIK_OUT_! ZUTARA IS IN THE GROUND! CAUSE WE GOT ANOTHER MAIK_OUT_!"

Those were the cries of the Kataangs and Maikoians together in joy and excitement. With another Maiko kiss this meant they could now get level 8 canon cannon blasters!

Rawles and Avani were standing with the Jinko and Soko captains, Bob and Liselle129. Windsong couldn't make it due to "plans".

"I hope you are enjoying the party," Rawles told Bob and Liselle129. "It's about time they showed who Zuko's only love is…no offence."

"None taken," Bob said drinking from his glass. "But aren't you worried about the fanons at all?"

"Are you kidding me?" Avani snorted. "What are they gonna do create some (bleeped) up foreshadowing? Mai and Zuko have kissed twice you can't deny that."

Liselle and Bob exchanged looks. "The fanons will deny anything that goes against their ship. They are not to be taken lightly."

"Oh pish-posh," Rawles said with a wave of her hand. "They just better hope to find a shield strong enough to deflect out attacks."

"We are going to win this war, Liselle, don't you worry about that," Avani declared raising her glass. "To canon! May we break people's spirits to prove our point!"

"AMEN!"

0o0o0o

Tongone knocked on the door of the Sokkla Captain's ship. Her eyes looked around at the Sokkla surroundings. It was a bunch of women dressing in leather with chains around men's necks as they wore very small Speedos.

"Wow…why couldn't I have been sent here during Shipping School?" she asked herself as she eyes the men.

The door opened and a Robot Mule stood there with a naturally sadistic smile on her face. "Hello Tongone come in my friend."

"Thanks RoRo," Tongone replied going into RoRo's room. Tongone's eyes widened, the room screamed Azula's wet dream. Whips, chains and all weapons of emasculating torture. "I love this place."

RoRo laughed. "Thank you Tongone," she sat down in her seat. "So I hear you want to ally with all the fandom ships."

"That's correct, despite how we ship we all have one thing in common…we hate the canon ships."

"Agreed and Maiko has been getting on my nerves since it started. They think that Mai is darker and sexier than Azula. PLEASE AZULA INVENTED SEXY! HELL SHE INVENTED S&M. MAI LEARNED TO WHIP ZUKO FROM HER!!!"

Tongone moved back slowly from Robot Mule and cleared her throat. "Yes, ahem, but we want you because while you are a small ship you are sick and demented. We need that on our side."

"I see but with me you won't be able to get Ty Lokka or Tokka."

"No we will get Tokka. The canons_** hate**_ Tokka because it would mean Suki has to die. As for Ty Lokka we rather get Ty Luko instead."

"Alright then," RoRo outstretched a sharp nailed hand. "You have an ally."

0o0o0o

Rowen let out a gulp as lighting cracked over the Zucest ship. "There aren't any clouds," she mumbled as she walked on the deck. Maladin's ship was always quiet, because the rooms were soundproof. They wouldn't want the sounds of screams to escape the ship.

Rowen rang the bell to Maladin's room. His voice came out through a speaker,

"_What_?"

"Hey miss-man it's me Rowen," the redhead said tapping her foot on the metal floor.

"Rowen? I don't know any Rowens. However you do sound like one crazy red-haired witch I know."

The Yukka captain growled. "Fine it's…Harley stupid."

Rowen watched the door open and the Haru-headed captain looked at her with grin. "How are you Harle? Do come in."

"Please cut the crap," Rowen complained pushing him out of the way. "You know why I'm here. We need you to ally with us."

Maladin sighed and walked over to his seat. "Why should I help you?"

Rowen blinked as if she didn't understand. "You're my best friend. You have to help me!"

"Actually I don't have to do anything but love Azula and die thank you very much," he snapped back, tapping on the desk. "I have no reason to risk my ship to help you and two ships I hate defeat three ships I hate."

The red head slammed her fist on his desk. "So you're not gonna help us?"

"No not really…"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO WHEN WE WERE ON THE PHONE?!?!"

"Because them we could have this nice conversation."

The Zucest managed to doge the bullet that had been aimed at his head.

"ALL YOU MEN ARE CRAZY!"

0o0o0o

Tokka, often when people hear about that ship they think "Aww Toph and Sokka. Tokka is a cute ship." WRONG! They are crazy! With crazy voodoo ceremonies. Today Ming Ue was unfortunate to have arrived at the beginning of one.

"You are lucky to witness our Suki burning ceremony Captain Ming Ue," Captain Orcacam07 said with a creepy smile.

Ming Ue chuckled nervously moving away from him. "Yes, um tell me again what happened to Lightningbender53?"

Orcacam07's smile got wider, Joker wide. "He is in the recovery…he got a real nasty burn."

Ming Ue blinked and turned her head away from the captain. The Tokka shippers were walking down an isle holding a giant Suki statue. Ming Ue could hear them chanting Tokka as they placed the stature onto the altar.

Orcacam07 stood up and took a torch. "With this Fire we pledge our hated of the Sukka's and all Sukka supporters! May we all pray and hope that the one true pairing of Tokka comes to pass," he turned to the Suki statue. "We burn this statue in the hope that Suki is dead and gone."

As the flames engulfed the Suki statue Ming Ue felt a little scared. _Damn these S.O.B's are crazier than me…only by a little…but still…_

"So what do you think of our little ceremony?"

Ming Ue heard the Tokka crew singing Ding Dong the Witch is Dead and smiled weakly. "It's very…fiery."

"Thank you and we would be honored to work beside you. Even if we have to work with those dumb ass Yukka shippers."

Ming's eyes narrowed. "Hey…"

"Anyways you got yourself another ally."

_Can I trade you for someone else?_

_0o0o0o _

Lord Momo watched the Fanon ships collect enemies from his looking glass. Momo let out a deep sigh. He couldn't keep the peace for much longer. Plus, it scared him to think about how the world would be if fanon ships took over.

_**Never.**_

He would help the Canon Ships win this war.

"Momo baby," said a female voice. Appa walked into the room. "When are coming to bed?"

"Soon my dear I'm stressed out with a lot of work."

Appa walked up to his husband and picked up the lemur. "Don't worry my dear you'll be all better after some sweet Appa loving."

Momo's ears perked up as his wife-husband brought him into their bedroom. As the door closed a shadow slid down from the ceiling. Koh looked at the couples door.

"How is that even possible?" he shook his drag-queen head. "So he wants to help the canons…can't have that now can we."

He peered through the Looking Glass as zoomed into Windsong's room. Koh watched as the Captain wrote something into a book, tucked it under his bed and left the room in a hurry.

"Well, well let see what's in there…"

**TO BE CONTINUED…..**

**Yea I bet you didn't expect to see Koh did you. Come on admit it! Yep Momo is the mascot for the Canons (and Hermione) and the awesome Koh is the mascot for the Fanons (and Luna Lovegood). Next week we have some more Canon goodness as they get there new weapons!**


	9. Chapter 9:WHEN CANONS ATTACK

**HEY!! Welcome to the 9****th**** chapter of Shipping Wars. In the next chapter since it will be my 10****th****. We are going to have a Beach Party! Everyone is invited! We will be interviewing all the captains we have met so far, so if you have questions for them or me send them out, no matter how silly. Now let's enjoy our new chapter!**

"So Katara360 what is the news from the Zutaraian ship?" Avani asked the double agent.

"Well Captain they have been recruiting allies from other fanon ships. They already have their sister ship, Sokkla, and the mad ship, Tokka."

"Damn them!" Avani growled. "Well at least they only have two allies at the moment pretty even to what we have."

The Maiko screen started to blink and Avani flicked the switch. "What's up Rawles?"

Rawles had a big smile on her face as she waved a piece of paper. "This is the new War Declaration on the fanon ships. It's been signed by every member of the Joo Dee court and now we can attack at 3:00 today."

"Oh I can't do it at 3:00 Dr. Phil is on at 3:00, well attack at four."

"No Windsong is gonna watch Oprah at four. Um…five?"

"Okay that's perfect. Make sure you don't tell anyone about this. We don't need it getting leaked to the fanons."

"Right. See you soon."

The Maiko screen clicked off and Avani leaned back in her chair. "It's a good day to be a canon shipper," she told herself with a smile.

"CAPTAIN AVANI!" Agent Snid yelled. Avani screamed and fell back into her chair.

"What? I was having a gloating moment!" she yelled.

Agent Psylum gave a salute. "Captain I have news from Agent Killerpenguin55, who was spying from the Sokkla ship. She wants you to call a meeting in the _Canon is King _auditorium."

Avani stood up alert. "That's our biggest auditorium," she stated. "Alright then tell Sri to give all the shippers notice and we'll head there pronto. I hope this is good news."

0o0o0

The entire Kataang ship was in the _Canon is King _auditorium. Avani sat at the captain's box and looked down at the stage.

"This had better be good. I'm missing Dr. Phil for this," she stated to Sri.

"Well according to Agent K.P55, this will be the most important thing we will ever see," Sri told her captain.

The said agent came onto the stage with a projection screen behind her. She cleared her throat.

"Hello my fellow Kataang shippers," she started. "As some of you might know I have been on a mission spying on the Sokkla ship. Yesterday I uncovered something they have been hiding from us." K.P 55 held the remote up then turned to her fellow shippers. "There was another picture leak than just the Maiko kiss…beware this will cause foaming."

She pressed the power button the remote and the most incredible uber amazing thing showed. Screenshots of Katara and Aang lip locking like it was no tomorrow. The reaction of the Kataangers went as follows:

"**OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOAM!"**

Hundreds of Kataang fans fell to the floor, foaming at the mouth and twitching on the ground. It looked like a group seizure from the birds-eye-view.

Private Sri for some reason was wearing foam-attack proof goggles. She shook her captain from her shock.

"Captain…Captain," she called poking Avani with a broomstick. Avani twitched the jumped up.

"KISS! KATAANG KISS! YOU SAW IT?!" She yelled shaking Sri hard.

"Ye-ye-YES Captain Avani!"

"We…we…we have to spread it around!" she declared. "EVERYONE! WE ARE GOING TO MAKE ICONS, SIGNATURES AND GIFS WITH THESE PICTURES! WE ARE GOING TO RUB IT IN THOSE FANON LOVING FACES!!"

The Kataangers rushed to the net logging on to their ASN accounts and started posting the pictures in a huge frenzy. The spoiler section was being dominated.

Psylum looked at his captain who was making a _We Told You So_ Kataang icon at the moment. "Captain…are you sure about all this?"

"Of course," Avani said with a snort. "We have been waiting two seasons for this to finally happen. We have a reason to brag our asses blue."

O0o0oo00

The door to Ming Ue's room burst open with Tongone and Rowen on the other side. Their faces were not of anger but shock and amusement.

"How did you do it?" they asked in unison.

Ming Ue and the Sokkla captain, RoRo, were sitting near the motion watching the ASN network fill with the Kataang picture.

"I can not believe you two," Rowen said laughing. "I thought I was evil."

"Yeah, Avani is going to kill you after she finds out that you planted a fake Kataang picture RoRo."

RoRo rolled her eyes. "Well then she shouldn't have sent that girl to my ship."

"How did you know she was a fake?" Tongone asked.

"She didn't know how to beat up a man. That is the very essence of our ship. This was the best payback I could think up," RoRo said with a big twisted smile.

Ming Ue smiled and hugged her 'sister'. "I told you sick and twisted."

"Good thing we got to her first," Tongone remarked. "But how did you make the picture anyway?"

Ming Ue reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a ray gun. "This is the Canon Bending Ray 6.0. I 'borrowed' it from Maladin. Watch…"

She took out a picture of the Maiko make out. Adjusting the gun to Zucest, she fired a beam of red light at the picture. Instantly it turned into a picture of Azula and Zuko in a mean tongue lock.

Tongone and Rowen both had evil grins. "Awesome…"

"Yes, this is how we get all our new Zutara art. The only thing is it'll go back to the original picture at the set time."

RoRo then pointed to the clock. "In ten seconds the Kataang kiss will turn back into the CRoD Zutara moment."

"Ooooh Avani is gonna be so pissed! I bet they put that picture all over the ship too!" Ming Ue said with a girlish laugh.

"Then let's count down shall we," Tongone started with a smirk.

"10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"Ahh," the four girls said in unison.

0o0o0o0o0

Avani was seething ripping the Zutara posters from her walls in a heated rage. "THAT (BLEEPING BARNEY BLEEPING BLEEP)!!"

Sri backed away from her Captain as she threw vases and other glass into the walls. "Um…captain…"

"GET RAWLES AND WINDSONG ONLINE RIGHT NOW!!"

Sri nervously saluted and turned on the monitor for the Sukka and Maiko ships.

"Excuse me what part of Oprah don't you understand?" Windsong asked, annoyed from his t.v hour.

"FORGET OPRAH THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!"

Windsong mumbled, "That's what you think…"

"What is it Avani?" Rawles asked.

"FAKE! KATAANG MAKEOUT PICTURES! MUST! ATTACK NOW!"

Rawles and Windsong shared nervous glances. "Are you sure?"

"YES! NOW BLOW THOSE (BLEEP BLEEPERS) OUT OF THE WATERS!!"

"Well it's after 3:00. The war decree is official we can attack them," Rawles stated as she readied her canon cannons.

"So who do we attack first?" Windsong asked his torpedoes getting ready to be fired.

"_**The Zutaraians**_," Avani said with anger dripping from her voice.

"I agree with crazy," Rawles told Windsong.

He only rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Of course we are going to attack the Zutaraians. You never want to attack the weaker ships."

"Why attack the weaker ships? That's not exciting?" Avani said frowning.

"Yes, but at least that way we could actually _sink it_!"

"Alright! Alright! We'll attack the Taang ship! Ready your weapons they will not survive a triple attack," Avani ordered.

0o0o0o0

Rowen was back at her ship. She was checking out the new shield system they had upgraded too. It was supposed to be the second strongest out there to Windsong's.

"Well we won't see until we test it out," she mumbled.

"Captain Rowen!" cried out one of her crew. "The canon ships are getting ready for an attack?"

"What? How?"

"They must have gotten a War Decree signed without telling us!"

"Bastards," she yelled going to the command center. "Where are the firing?"

"At the Taang ship!'

"Oh hell no," Rowen said through gritted teeth. She put on her headset. "Tongone! Tongone are you there?"

"Yeah what's up?"

"The canons! They are getting ready to fire at you!"

"WHAT?!? But the cease fire…"

"They must have gotten Lord Momo to lift it! Girl you have to get out of there!"

"I…I can't! We put our anchors down there won't be enough time for us to move!" Tongone told Rowen, the fear was clear at that point.

The Taangers didn't have thick enough armor to withstand three attacks at once. There was only one option.

"Don't worry girl…I'll cover you," Rowen told her friend.

"WHAT? HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING THAT CACTUS AGAIN! THERE IS NO WAY…"

Rowen turned off the headset and turned to the navigator. "Guys it's a do or die moment we are going to protect the Taang ship with ourselves. If you don't like that idea you can get the hell off my ship!"

"WE ARE WITH YOU CAPTAIN!" the Yukka crew chanted back.

"That's what I thought. NOW MOVE THIS SHIP!"

Slowly the Yukka ships began to move into the direction to the Taang ship. It's engine moving at full speed.

"Captain we are almost there!"

"Let's just make it before we loose our comrade."

0o0o0o0

Rawles, Windsong and Avani all had their weapons prepared and ready to go. Windsong had his torpedoes, Avani had her cannon and Rawles was armed with missiles.

"Everyone ready?" Avani asked.

"Yes for the ten thousandth time!" Windsong groaned annoyed that he was missing his show.

Rawles watched the Taang ship and smirked evilly as she locked on her target. "Target Locked. Ready…"

"Aim…"

"Fire…" Avani said.

All three sets of arsenal fired at once speeding towards the immobile Taang ship. Rawles laughed. "Yes! Take that you loud pain in the…"

"Wait…someone is going in front of the Taang ship," Windsong pointed out looking at the radar.

"Who is it?" Avani asked looking at her own radar. "It's the Zutaraians isn't it helping their 'girlfriend' ship."

"No…it's Rowen…" Windsong told them shocked.

0o0o0o0o0

The Yukka ship had stationed itself directly in front of the Taang ship. Rowen turned on the new shields.

"Alright ladies hold your ground."

Ming Ue and Tongone both started yelling at her from the headset.

"HARLEY PAMELIA DENT! YOU STOP RIGHT NOW!" Ming Ue yelled more worried than angry.

"YEAH OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"TONGONE! MING UE SHUT THE…"

There was one big explosion heard and the line went dead.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Tongone dropped the headset to the floor. "Is she dead…?"

"No…this is a comedy. No one dies in a comedy. But she got (bleeped) up," Ming Ue reassured her friend.

Tongone ran out to the deck there she saw the Yukka ship the propeller was shot off, the middle and upper parts of the deck were mostly gone, but the ship was still standing.

Rowen pushed open her door and looked out to see Tongone glaring at her from atop the Taang ship.

"Hey Tongone."

"I'LL STRANGLE YOU!" the Taang captain jumped from her ship onto Rowen and commenced strangling Simpson. "I'LL TEACH YOU TO MAKE ME EMOTIONAL!!"

"WHITE…LIGHT…HELP…"

**THAT ENDS CHAPTER NINE. CANONS KICKED ASS BUT FAILED TO DESTROY THE YUKKA AND TAANG SHIPS. BUT DON'T COUNT THEM UP. CANON IS CRAZY WHEN YOU MESS WITH THEIR EMOTIONS. **

**SEE YOU AT THE PARTY IN CHAPTER 10 IN ONE WEEK!**


	10. Chapter 10: MEET THE CAST

**Thank you everyone for all your support in the making of Shipping Wars. You guys are all amazing and rock. I hope you enjoy this fan service chapter because you have earned it.**

_**There was a speaker in the walls of the ship were a female voice was heard.**_

Voice_: Hello shippers of all Ships. Welcome to the fan service chapter of Shipping Wars. The Zutaraians ship has graciously given up permission to host our event onboard their vessel. So without further ado let's bring out our captains._

_**Eleven chairs appear, each of them with a nametag for each captain. The door opens and the said captains arrive. **_

_**Ming Ue, Tongone and Rowen enter the room, annoyed that they were missing the barbecue for a stupid interview.**_

Rowen: How long do we have to be here?

Tongone: I don't know, but it'll be awhile that's for sure. Sits down in her chair

Ming Ue: Takes her seat and leans back Doesn't matter as long as we make it out of here before the sun sets.

_**The door to the interview room opened with Rawles, Avani and Windsong who was being followed by his two "personal assistants" Miss Monday and Miss Tuesday.**_

Rawles: Looking Around Why the hell does this interview have to take place in this shit hole?

Ming Ue: Glaring at Rawles You don't have to be here!

_**Miss Tuesday replaced Windsong's chair with a beach chair. The Sukka captain sat down and his assistants stood behind him. **_

Rowen: Scoffing Wow what a bleeping Casanova.

Tongone: Patting Rowen's shoulder It'll be over soon.

Windsong: Looking over the room Wow this place hasn't changed at all. Brings back memories…

_**SMBH entered the room looking around with spacey eyes, Maladin and RoRo walking in behind her both looking annoyed at each other.**_

SMBH: Is this the right place?

Maladin: Pats SMBH's shoulder Yes SMBH this is the right place.

RoRo: Sorry we are late...someone refused to leave until his sideburns were perfectly groomed. Points to Maladin

Maladin: He sighed and sat in his chair Alright who the hell are we waiting for?

Windsong: Orcacam07. He's probably sacrificing a cat to a statue of Toph.

_**In a stroke of irony Orcacam07 barged in covered in cat hair and blood.**_

Ocrcam07: Smiling I'm sorry I had…_work_ to do.

_**The captains slowly tried to move away from the mad captain, but unfortunately he was seated next to Tongone and Rawles. Once everyone was seated the voice came through the speakers.**_

Voice: _Okay thank you all for coming…_

Rawles: Mumble Like we had a choice.

Voice: _I will warn you that if anyone annoys me your ship will suffer an untimely destruction. Not to mention I will reveal some __**deep, personal, image ruining secrets that just might destroy your reputations.**_

_**The captains cast nervous glances at each other, shifting in their seats. The voice clears her throat.**_

Voice: Cherry voice _Alright now that we got that out of the way, let's commence with the interviews shall we._

_**A stage light switches back and forth to all of the captains before landing on Rawles first.**_

Voice: Alright first question for the emo couple ship. _**What do you want say to all the anti-Maiko and Mai Haters?**_

Rawles: At this point I feel sorry for them. I mean they are either 1) jealous that they could never in all their years ever be as cool and sexy as Mai. Or 2) they are pissed up Zutaraians. Get over yourselves and either embrace the glory that is Maiko or be gone. We don't like you anyways.

Ming Ue: Standing up and pointing at Rawles You see _that_ is why no one likes you! Your always starting with people Rawles!

Rawles: Excuse me is the spot light on you? No. Alright then sit down.

_**Ming Ue tries lunge after Rawles only to have Tongone and Rowen pull her back, vulgar hand signs being done in the direction of the Maiko captain. Maladin, Ocrcam07 and Windsong, being the only males, watch with interest.**_

Ocrcame07: My money's on Rawles. She decapitated a cat because it scratched her Maiko tapestry.

Windsong: Naw, my money is on Ming she bites.

Voice: _Ahem…annoyance level growing…_

_**The females calm themselves for the moment not wanting any of their ships to be destroyed. Especially the Zutaraian one considering they are all onboard.**_ _**The spotlight switched off from Rawles and landed on SMBH.**_

Voice: _Next Loony Captain SMBH the next question is for you_. _**What makes you and the ships you command so awesome? And how many ships work under you?**_

SMBH: Looking around in a daze

RoRo: Um…hun what are you looking for?

SMBH: Didn't you hear someone in this room had the exact same name as me? Continues to look around.

_**There is a collected sigh from all of the captains, except Maladin who taps SMBH on the shoulder.**_

Maladin: It is you…

SMBH: Oh! Smiles Oops. Um…what makes my awesome is because I can see what people can not. People said Zhaoburns wasn't real. But I could see that beyond Zhao's harsh personality he held a deep love for his sideburns. Although they would often conflict about which one he loved the most…

Rawles: Pressing head against the chair Oh my freaking God…

SMBH: Breaking out of her daze Oh and we will win this war because we proudly ship Crackships/Ocean of Chi! Big Ty Lee Smile Um and currently we have Insert Number Here ships at out disposal.

Voice: Yawning _How nice…alright then next on the chopping block is…_

_**The spot light shone down on the lounging captain Windsong. **_

Voice: _Ah the Casanova Captain Windsong. Your questions are:_ _**Why are there only a handful of men on your ship? How do manage to keep the hundreds of girls on your ship under control**_?

Windsong: Well to answer you first question I doubt the bikini would look as nice on man as it would on a female. Shudders from the thought of S.S.S in a blue thong.

_**Rowen writes in her notebook. Implant pictures of S.S.S in a thong into Windsong's dreams**_

Windsong: Receiving a grape from Miss Monday before continuing And as for managing the wonderful young woman that serve under me…

Tongone Whispers to RoRo: In more ways than one.

Windsong: I treat them all with the utmost respect and courtesy. Everyone is treated equally. If fights break out amongst the women I have learned that it is best to stay out of their way and watch to make sure no serious injuries are handed out.

Avani: So _that's_ what those binoculars are for…

Voice: _Yeah…alright time to move on to someone even crazier._

_**The spotlight vanished for a moment and then appeared over Maladin while he groomed his sideburns in the mirror. **_

Voice: Groan_ Great the egomaniac_. _**What are you hiding in the soundproof rooms of your ship? How are you friends with Rowen?**_

Maladin: Putting down his mirror Whoever is so eager to find out what I am hiding can come to my ship and find out. However, I will not be held responsible for any and all events after they enter. As for my relationship with _Harley. _Doges a rock to the headWe were roommates and she…she saw what no living creature on this Earth was meant to see. In exchange for her silence…I offered groan f_riendship_. She's been a split end in hair ever since.

Voice:…_How Touching. Alright time to hear from, RoRo. Your questions are:_ _**If Azula had to die who would you want to kill her? What is the best way to break a man?**_

_**RoRo's eyes narrowed into slits and she sat up. **_

RoRo: Azula will _**never ever**_ die! If she dies I will come into your home and slaughter… She stopped once she realized that her backup plan was being exposed ahem…I mean if she had to die I would rather Ozai kill her…dramatic offence. A smirk appeared As for breaking a man…the best way is with a really thick stick. Although it will not be for beating…

_**Orcacam07, Windsong and Maladin moved back knowing what she meant all to well. Rowen gave RoRo a high five.**_

Voice: _How…delightful. Next up Avani._

Avani: Thank God! I hate waiting!

Voice: Sarcastically _You poor thing bad enough you have to wait for Kataang isn't it? Anyway here is your question:_ _**How do you keep your hatred of Zutara so strong?**_

Avani: Well that's easy Deviant Art, Fanfiction. Net, Distant Horizon all of them provide me with many reasons to hate Zutara. I mean all the fanfiction is the same…Zuko sees Katara and thinks "Damn she's smexy." Katara sees Zuko shirtless and her body is suddenly hit with hormones. Turns to Ming Ue IT'S BULLSHIT!

Ming Ue: ALL YOUR FANFICTION IS THE SAME TOO! YOU JUST CAN'T FINE IT BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE _ZUTARA_ FICS.

Avani: Well guess what MORE DOESN'T MEAN BETTER!

Voice: _QUIET! THERE ARE ONLY SIX MORE QUESTIONS TO GO AND I WANT TO SUNBATH! SO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP SO WE CAN FINISH THIS!!_

_**Avani and Ming Ue sit down sulking in their chairs, wanting to get out a.s.a.p. Once it was quiet the spotlight went on Rowen.**_

Voice: _Alright Rowen your question is:_ _**Why do you hate Windsong?**_

Windsong & Everyone else: Oh bleep

Rowen: Well it's about time someone wanted to hear the truth about this. Alright so I was dating _him _for about nine months. We were having a nice time; I didn't sense anything wrong with our relationship. Then one morning I wake up and there is a box outside my door from Wind. So I open it and there is a rose and a card. At first I think "Wow how sweet" then…I read the card.

Windsong: Before she even starts I would like to say that I put a lot of time and effort into that card…

Rowen: Effort my ass! You have a whole stack of break up card that you make at Kinko's. All he does is write his name on the top and the girls name at the bottom! Anyway when I go to talk to him about the whole mess he already is talking to some other girl! Since then I have sworn to make him pay!

Orcacam07: So you want to kill him?

Rowen: No, I want to make him so miserable that he kills himself.

Windsong: And she wonders why we broke up!

RoRo: Would you like to borrow the stick?

Voice: _MOVING ON! Crazy Tokka captain! It's your turn:_ _**What will you do if Tokka doesn't happen in canon?**_

Orcacam07: Simple I will go to Mike and Bryon calmly and hold their families for ransom until they come to their senses and realize that Toph is the best person for Sokka. Suki _will_ die even if I must do it with my own bare hands.

_**There was a collected sweat drop that went down all of the captains necks. Inching as far away as possible from the Mad Tokka captain. **_

Voice: _I pity all of you…Well now we are onto the final questions. Tongone your up:_ _**Why do you think that Taang doesn't have the same legion of fans that other ships do?**_

Tongone: Of course we don't have the same countless number of fans as others. You know why? Because there are no sissies in Taang! We are a _bigger, stronger breed of shippers_. If we let everyone join it would mean less quality and more quantity. We believe in _Toph Love_, which means if you're afraid you get slammed in the face with a rock, _**this is not the ship for you.**_ Tongone took a breath And not everyone can fully understand the awesomeness of Taang. They just want to assume the worst about it.

Voice: _Well spoken. Now we have saved the most insane for last, Ming Ue. Your questions are:_ _**If you had to pick a ship with Zuko in it other than Zutara what would it be? If Zutara happens what will you do?**_

Ming Ue: A ship with Zuko other than Zutara…I would have to go with Zue. It still had Water Tribe and Fire Nation, Good Girl and Bad Boy! It's just as good. Now _when _Zutara happens, first, I will run around my room screaming for twenty minutes. Then I will call every single person why had ever said Zutara would never happen and laugh in their ears until they hang up.

Avani: Smirk Well then it's a good thing that it'll never happen then.

Ming Ue: We will see about that!

Rawles: Besides Zuko had Mai what would he need with Katara?

Tongone: Personality and Boobs.

_**Much to Rawles annoyance there was a mummer of agreement at Tongone's statement. The dark captain frowned and sunk into her chair.**_

Voice: _Well that God this is the last question of the day. It is for all the fandom ships:_ _**How do you feel knowing that 50 percent of ASN wants you to sink?**_

_**Ming, Rowen and Tongone looked at each other.**_

Rowen: They want us to sink?

Tongone: 50 Percent!

Ming Ue: How come?

Tongone: 50 PERCENT!

Voice: _Yes with 40 percent of those votes belonging to Zutara._

_**A black cloud collected around Ming Ue's head. She walked over to the corner banging her head against the wall.**_

Ming Ue: Aangst, Aangst, Aangst…

Rowen: Groaning Oh no…she Aangsting…

Maladin: Oh well not my problem. He put on his shades I smell the food is ready lets get the hell out of here.

_**Most of the captains all agreed following Maladin out of the Zutara room. The voice from the speaker turning off. Ming Ue stayed in the room Tongone by her side.**_

Ming Ue: Still banging her head on the wall Aangst…Aangst…

Tongone: Oh come Ming Ue it's not that bad. Look! She pulled out a picture of Zuko and Katara from in the Waterbending Scroll Foreshadowing!

_**Ming Ue peaked up and slowly her cloud started to vanish as she looked at the picture.**_

Ming Ue: Zu...tara…

Tongone: Dragging her by the arm That's right Zutara. Now let's go before all the meat is gone…

**And that ends the fan service chapter of Shipping Wars. Lol. It was a mess. Next Time its all out war. No treaties. No Mods. No talking. Just lots and lots of explosions. .**


	11. Chapter 11: CANON VS FANON PART I

**Hey guys sorry for the delay. School is hell but here is the next chapter of shipping wars.**

"Shields up!" yelled General Plagewalker of the Taang ship as a cannon attack, from the Maiko ship, hurdled into the Taang shield.

The fanon ship shook from the force of the new level 11 Canon Cannons the Maiko ship had purchased.

Tongone picked herself off the floor groaning in frustration. "Damn Nick Magazine with stupid Maiko kiss…"

Vigor helped his captain to her feet. "Are you okay?"

"Yea I'm fine, but since this Avatar comic has come out we can't even _crap_ in peace with the Maiko people attacking."

Plagewalker turned to his captain and saluted. "Captain our shield are at maximum strength at the moment, we can't turn it up any more."

"Don't worry Plage. We will be able to hold out until we get some reinforcements."

"This would be easier if those damn Tokka's hadn't off betrayed us!" Orgo groaned as he struggled as other cannons made impact.

Tongone's face scrunched up into a frown as she remembered that the Tokka captain had found some "canon" Tokka evidence and ran over the Canon Ship.

"Well he can stay there, with his cat-killing behind. Not as if Windsong would allow Tokka to…" Before Tongone could finish she was flung into the wall.

"_Ahhh!! I HATE THIS CRAP_!"

The elevator door opened. Ming Ue and RoRo entered the room.

"Sorry we are late, the Kataang and Tokka ships were firing at us all afternoon," RoRo said fixing her hair. "It was murder."

"I'm sure it was now welcome to my hell," the Taang captain mumbled whilst sitting on the floor. "Any news from Rowen?"

"Nope, her ship is still at TwilightRose's neutral ship. It's just the three of us against Rawles, Avani, Windsong, and Orcacam," Ming Ue informed her partner in crime.

"Plus, Maladin and SMBH "can not be reached" for some reason," RoRo told them.

Another canon hit the Taang ships and Ming Ue fell onto the floor. "Alright ladies, we may be outnumbered, but one thing is true. We fanons **never** accept loss!..._None of us_."

0o0o0o0

Rawles sat in her black chair twirling a knife in her hand. She was looking through the Maiko weapons catalog.

"Ooooh, Flaming Knives cannons for 9.99," she whistled in approval. "So getting that."

Vampire-Nightwish came in saluting her captain. "Captain Rawles the Zutara ship is meeting with the Taang shop."

The dark captain raised an eyebrow. "Really? They've probably come to save their token ship from us. Continue to fire until we weaken the shields. Once that's done the Teoph fighters will blast them from above."

"You're so brilliant Captain Rawles," Vampire-Nightwish said with a look of pure adoration.

"I know."

As Rawles looked down at her magazine a single thought ran through her head. _Those Fanons have a snowball's chance in hell._

0o0o0o0

The Sukka ship was following the Sokkla ship, as it had been for the last hour. It was a boring chase yet interesting idea. Part of Windsong was praying for a battle. After all with two sets of female warriors fighting there was bound to be at least _one_ wardrobe malfunction.

"Icy any news about when we can engage in battle?" he asked.

"Well Avani had ordered that the Sokkla ship is only to be followed not attacked."

Windsong groaned and banged his head on his desk. "Has Avani included _why_ we are not to attack them?"

Icy looked through the message quickly. "Yes, Captain Avani said: "Those Sokkla chicks are crazy we need a plan if we are going to take them down."

Windsong's ears perked up slightly. "So Avani says we need a plan uh?" He pulled out two pieces of parchment from his desk and began to write two letters. _"Well then send this to Captain RoRo and this second one to Captain Avani.""_

Icy took the letters and saluted. "Yes, Sir."

0o0o0o0

Inside of the Zutara ship three hooded people sat down around Ming Ue's desk. The tallest one spoke first.

"So you say in return for our help you will give us a canon-bending ray?"

"Yep," Ming Ue said with a smile holding out Maladin's "borrowed" weapon.

Another one of the hooded figures touched the weapon. "Why did you call for us?"

"Because you have nothing to loose from this whole situation and that is the strongest weapon we can ever have on our side," Ming Ue smirked. "We will make wonderful trouble together."

The shortest of the hooded figures smiled. "Koh was right. You are going to be interesting to work with."

0o0o0o0

"FIRE!" Avani yelled as she pointed to the Zutaraian ship.

The Kataangers fired shots at the hull of the ship only to have the force field block them, for the twenty-second time.

"Captain Avani, if we continue to use all of out Ammo we won't be able to protect ourselves," KP55 said as she fired a shot at the deck of the ship.

"Pfft, what are they going to attack us with? They have used up all their good foreshadowing to buy that canon-bending machine."

"I know, but still don't you think this a bit immature," a nameless Kataanger spoke up. "I mean just because we can't agree with them…does that mean we must attack them?"

Avani blinked at the Kataanger and walked over her desk. She pressed a red button and the Zutara-defending S.O.B fell backwards into a fire pit.

Screaming erupted from the hole in the floor. The Kataangers looked at their captain in shock. Avani cleared her throat and looked at them.

"Well if anyone…"

"Hello? I'm not dead…but I am badly burned all over…" cried a voice from below.

"Oh Iroh, Damn It" Avani sighed. "Psylum and Kai please take care of that."

"Yes, captain."

"Now as I was saying we have no threat from the fanons. I have a letter from Windsong, he will be approaching the Sokkla ship in a false "peace meeting". We will surround and attack the Sokkla ship, sinking it to the ground."

The sound of shots from underground echoed throughout the ship.

"Good work Psylum and Kai!" she yelled down. "Now everyone get ready we have to make sure we do this right!"

0o0o0o0

Rowen was on the phone in Maladin's office laughing as Tongone spoke to her. "Are you serious? How did you manage to get _them_...? Good old Master Koh. I only wish I could see the look on their faces. Keep me in touch. I'll see you guys soon. Later."

She hung up and turned to the captain as he groomed.

"Remind me again why you are here?" he asked while he removed a split end.

"Because I am going to help you become the captain of both Maitara and Zucest in exchange for your technology," she answered with a smirk.

Maladin sighed. "Yes, but every time I look at your face…that offer becomes less and less worth it."

He quickly ducked to doge a well aimed vase to his head.

0o0o0o0

Windsong, S.S.S, and Spartangirl stood on the deck of their ship. The Sokkla ship came closer into view. S.S.S turned back and could see the black sail of the Maiko ship.

Rawles's voice came from Windsong headpiece. "I'm here. Avani said she will be arriving in a few minutes."

"What about Orcacam?"

"He's keeping an eye on the Zutara and Taang ships."

"Good," he said before lowering the volume on the earpiece.

The Sokkla ship was close enough so that the women were seated on the deck were visible. Windsong silently admonished himself. _The one time I don't bring my binoculars._

RoRo's voice crept into his headset. "Welcome Captain Windsong. I am glad that you have come and wish to make peace. Rowen always thought you were too stubborn to compromise."

Windsong's eyes narrowed slightly at that comment. "Well Rowen doesn't know me as well as she wishes she does."

RoRo let out a small chuckle. "I'm sure. Give me a moment and I shall let you onboard.

0o0o0o0

Rawles watched her sensory screen as the barrier around the Sokkla ship slowly started to vanish.

"Ready Flaming Knives we fire in 30 seconds.

0o0o0o0

On the Kataang ship Avani had her hands on the missile launcher. Biting her lip as she watched the times click down to 3 seconds.

"Two…One…FIR…!!"

BAAAAAAM

Something smashed into the back of the Kataang ship. Avani flew forward in her seat and landed hard on her face.

"Dude! WTF?!" she yelled.

Rawles came on her earpiece. "WE GOT HIT!"

"BY WHO?"

Avani yelled as she grabbed her periscope and looked at the ships behind them. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Oh my God…"

"What?!?" Rawles yelled.

"They did a shipping Crossover. The Harry/Hermione, Draco/Hermione and Ron/Luna shippers…they're here…"

"…We need a new plan."

0o0o0o0

Maladin's phone rang, which was odd because no one ever called him.

"Hello?" he asked. After a moment he rolled his eyes and handed the phone to Rowen, who was brushing his hair. "It's for you."

Rowen took the phone. "Ello? … What?... You have him?... He's died up…in your basement! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!"

**Hi guys I'm sorry for this very suck-y chapter I know . But with H.S and extra stuff I am doing the best I can for you guys. Next week Sunday we will have some more Shipping Fun.**

**P.S: If anyone wants to be The Potter Fanon ship captains…let me know. But the first people who ask are the ones who get it…so type fast.**


	12. Chapter 12: CANON'S 1 FANON'S 0

**Hi guys before I continue with this next chapter I want to let you all know (especially my ASN readers) that I have not forgotten about you. I just have a lot of homework and school stuff so it'll be harder for me to update weekly. If not weekly it will be bi-weekly. But just know **_**I have not forgotten.**_

_On Sept. 21, 2007 at 8:30 (5:00 in lucky-ass Canada) the season premiere of Avatar Book 3: Fire was shown. The canon and fanon ships decided to be at peace until the airing of the 3__rd__ episode to prepare for shipping evidence._

_The Kataang and Maiko ships were extremely happy, to put it lightly, with the first episode. Then with the airing on the second episode the Canon ships were felling very, very pleased. Especially the Maiko shippers who were finally shown the infamous Maiko trailer kiss._

_The fanon ships, coughZutaracough, at first unafraid of the new development. The kiss was boring anyway. That all changed when their numbers began to drop…_

"This is not good," Yong Wing said as the meeting of the Fanon Council took place. The Fanon Captains, minus Rowen and RoRo. "The number of Zutaraian supporters is the lowest it has been in years. They are all converting because of the Maiko kisses."

"Damn it! Why don't we have loyal insane crazy fans? Like the Hr/H shippers do!" Ming Ue yelled slamming her fist on the table.

Yong looked at his stats. "Apparently they were the first ones to covert."

Tongone winced. "And if the Zutara ship gets weaker it affects us all. They are the biggest fanon ship and with the canons growing in numbers we won't stand a chance without them."

Maladin, who, extremely reluctantly, took Rowen's spot in the Fanon Council, spoke up. "Well then we need to stop the Zutaraians we already have from leaving."

"How do you propose we do that?" Tongone asked. "The canon-warping ray is gone."

"Yes and as I recall that was your doing," Maladin stated. "Anyway since your ship, Ming Ue, is known for its more _creative_ shippers, what you need is some new foreshadowing."

Tongone let out a sad snort. "Please, how are we supposed to get foreshadowing out of those episodes?"

SMBH, who was wearing a hat made of tin-foil, to keep the canon ships from spying on her, looked up from her Zhaoburns essay.

"Well…you can say that Katara is only interesting in Aang because On ji was moving in on her territory…"

Ming Ue blinked for a moment before glomping the mad girl. "THANK YOU! Kyreesyasha! Write down that stuff and it published in the Foreshadowing Propaganda!"

Kyreesyasha saluted and began to write down the message. Kurati barged into the room. "Captain Ming Ue! New foreshadowing discovery! Katara is the Painted Lady which means she has taken on secret identity, like Zuko and she was also scored by the Fire Nation peoples just like her beloved Zu-Zu!"

"Oh thank Agni!" Ming Ue breathed. "This should bring back the foreshadowing mad fans."

"But it isn't good enough," Tongone said.

SMBH nodded. "Tonnie is right. If we want to bring Zutara back…we need the big guns. We need Manonlechat."

The fanon captains started mumbling while Maladin let out a groan and slammed his head into the desk.

Manonlechat was the legendary Zutara shipper banished by Lord Momo after people actually began to listen to her preaching about canon!Zutara. She was banished to the neutral ship prison.

"Your crazy, talking to Manonlechat is punishable by a _Shipping Mind Wipe_," Tonnie stated. "Is it really worth it?"

"Well we are not gonna loose this war. Do you know how many bragging right are riding on this?"

"What about the canon ships? The peace treaty was only supposed to last until 12 tonight," Maladin told them. "It'll be too risky."

Callisto, the Ty Zula captain decided to speak up at this point. "Well knowing the canon shippers, they will be too excited by their new evidence to come chasing after any of us. Especially after these latest episodes."

"Alright then we leave tomorrow morning…to free Manonlechat…"

0o0o0

"We give thanks to you Almighty Mike and Bryan for blessing us with Tokka this season," chanted Ocrcam07 dressed the Tokka robes.

The statues of Mike and Bryan sat on top the Tokka altar. Ocrcam07 raised a 3-legged puppy up towards the statue.

"In honor of you and your greatness we give this 3-legged puppy, who we have named Poofy Hopkins, up to you." The twisted captain gave the dog a small kiss on the head. "Adios Poofy."

The center of the altar opened up to show a whirlpool bellow it. Poor Poofy peed himself as he saw teeth start to extend from the whirlpool.

"For Tokka!" Ocracam07 declared.

"FOR TOKKA!" his minions yelled in unison as Poofy Hopkins was dropped and fell into the watery grave.

The center closed and Orcacam turned to his minions. "My proud Tokka companions, we are now becoming a force of power in the Sea of Chi. Tokka has gained more evidence and hopefully this will mean that Suki…shall…die!"

The Tokka's let out cries of happiness at the idea of the Kyoshi Floozy being dead.

"Hopefully our cries will transcend from here to the ears of out beloved creators. But until then we must make sure that our ship remains dominant." Orcacam chose this moment to take a dramatic pause. "We are going to form a coup with the help of the Onjaang, Meaang, Jinko and Karu ships. With them we will overtake the other Canon ships."

Whispering began to start amongst the Tokkaians.

"But I like Kataang I don't want to overtake them," said Avatar209.

"Me either, but you know the rules. If you are against Tokka…you gotta go," said another.

"And just to make sure none of you get any ideas, I'll let you know that everyone who has joined the Tokka ships has been implanted with a chip. If any of you tries to inform anyone of this plan you will implode. "

Tokka Crew: O.O

"Yeah I am not playing around," he said in a serious voice. "This is war. And I plan to win no matter who falls."

0o0o0

"These past three weeks have been splendid haven't they?" Rawles asked Avani as they were in the mitts of another Canon Party. Pictures of the two Maiko kisses and the Kataang dance scenes had been animated and hung all over the room.

"It's been amazing Season Three has not only been the official birth of Maiko, but also the death of Zutara."

"It was alive to begin with?" Rawles asked with a sarcastic smirk. "But I'm sure some fool will come up with some weird way to ship them together. Like…Blue Lady or Painted Spirit…It's sad."

"Yet, entertaining to seen them fail at each crossroad. Although when it all ends I will miss the foreshadowing."

"Really?"

Avani thought about it then nodded. "Yes, for the past few years it's been on the few sources of pure comedy for me."

"Well let's enjoy this before we end up having to deal with that. I can just imagine what Manonlechat would say if she was back around."

Avani shuddered in fear. "I don't even want to think about that. Last time she was here Zutara foreshadowing is through the roof."

"In any case get ready for any anti-Maiko/Kataang arguments that might be starting."

Meanwhile down in the actual party a few crewmates from the Mai ship were huddled together, with two Kataangers.

"You better not let Rawles hear about this!" Psylum told one of the Maiko shippers.

"I'm sorry but I really think that the new Maiko scene was a little lame," said one the Maiko girls.

Another Maiko person covered her mouth. "Shh! Don't say those kind of things here. They'll but you in one of the torture rooms.

"This is ridiculous!" Magus1108 yelled. He gripped the Maiko girl's shirt. "You will like Kataang and Maiko! If you don't you are traitors and will be treated as such. Don't you remember what happened to that girl who was caught reading Zutara fanfiction?"

KP55 made the slid throat sign.

"Bu…but just because I don't like that Maiko scene doesn't mean I like Zutara…"

"There isn't a difference if you are against Maiko you might as well be one of those creative Zutaraian," Psylum told them folding his arms.

Rawles, who was watching the scene from above, sighed. "New girl on the ship, she hasn't be broken in yet to understand the extent of Maiko's awesomeness."

Avani laughed and took a sip of her drink. "Hey I've just noticed something…have you heard from Windsong?"

0o0o0

S.S.S was laid down on the massage sofa getting some attention from one of the many Sukka crewwomen. He let out a content sigh.

The door slammed open reveling and angry Spartiangirl12. "S.S.S! What are you doing?!"

"I'm getting my spine some much needed attention. Why?"

"Why?_ Why_? We have to get Captain Windsong! You know our leader who has been on an enemy ship for three weeks!!"

"Oh I'm sure he's fine. He's on the Sokkla ship with a bunch of women in leather. I'm sure he would be mad at us if we tried to take him away from that.

0o0o0

Rowen sat outside Windsong's prison cell chopping hotdogs as the object of her loathing looked on in total fear.

"R-Rowen?"

CHOP!

Wind leaned back into the cage thankful for the metal keeping her away. This is what had been going on for three weeks.

"_Alright I'm here!" Rowen yelled as she burst into RoRo's room happily. "I have axes, machetes and tweezers! Just give me five minute alone!"_

_RoRo frowned and shook her head. "I'm sorry Rowen, but you will not be allowed to harm him while on this ship."_

_Rowen's smile instantly turned upside down. "W-what? Are you giving him torture immunity?"_

"_Yes, Ming Ue says she doesn't want anything to happen to him or else Lord Momo will get on our case."_

_Rowen slumped into one of the leather chairs. "So…no chopping, sawing or cutting?"_

"_I'm afraid not?"_

"_Not even a little bit like…" She lifted her finger and made a cutting motion at the very tip top of it._

"_Sorry Rowen you can't hurt him, but you can watch him to make sure he doesn't escape."_

_The bitter Yukka captain folded her arms in disgust. "I wanted to remove body parts not do guard duty…"_

Windsong cleared his throat and attempted to try again.

"Listen Rowen I think that we should try and come to a compromise. After all we do have…"

Rowen's knife slammed into the table as she looked up at the Sukka captain.

"We…don't have anything to worry about. After all I can't hurt you when your on this ship, but you won't be here forever…I'll get you soon enough. So keep your charm to yourself."

Knowing that she was dead serious he leaned back into the corner of his cell with an annoyed look on his face.

_When I get back I am going to lock S.S.S in a cell for three weeks with one of his crazy ex's. Let's see how much fun he has._

O.O.O.O

_Ladies and Gentlemen: Welcome to __**Lady Miyuki's House of Insults.**__ Where the truth shall set you free._

_The always amazing, always right Lady Miyuki presides._

The female feline extreme sits upon her cushion of negativity.

"Hello all of you ignorant masses, its time to hear the extremely biased, but totally honest truth about season 3. First of all am I the only one who has found themselves disappointed by the lack of interesting things happening in Book 3.

By the way when I mean interesting things I don't mean shipping. Outside of Zucest of course.

I will admit there were a few good moments in the last episodes. In _The Awaking_ we saw the oh so sexy face of Ozai and the seductive side of Azula. In _the Headband_ there was Onjaang and Aang super adorable and in _the Painted Lady_ it was only saved by the humor of Toph and Sokka.

On the other hand there were of negative annoying things that have happened, but are being ignored because of _AWS_. Therefore I will shed some light on two of the things that bugged me the most.

(1) So far I feel like it should be Book 3: Shipping because that seems to be what half of _Awaking_, and all _Headband_ was about. How about we give Mai some more character development before latching her on Zuko? As for Katara and Aang, we already know they are getting together! Stop pushing it down our throats. Some of us watch Avatar for the action not the shipping.

(2) Katara and Zuko. I'm tired of seeing their faces. I'm tired of seeing Katara's huge head and Zuko's huge emo. The Painted Lady has made all the hate and loathing I feel for Katara double, we know she is a self-righteous, control freak, with PMS. Zuko's emo, bi-polar emotions are getting annoying. These are all traits of them that we know about! Can we give Mai some development? Ty Lee an appearance? Toph some non humor lines?

Now as for shipping, unless its Mature Zucest or Zue it doesn't interest me. Kataang is predictable, Zutara is unrealistic and cliché, Maiko is boring and Tokka is…well Tokka.

Although I will say this about Maiko it disturbs me greatly how one partner in the ship can look so unattractive next someone who is maimed (I'll let you decide who it is.)

Anyway goodnight everyone and remember: If I say something I _am_ always right."

**End **

**Preview: **

"_Um SMBH? What is that supposed to be?" Maladin asked looking into the chest._

"_It's a jar of dirt."_

"_Yes, I see that but that doesn't explain why I'm looking at it…"_


	13. Chapter 13: CANONS 1 FANON STILL 0

**A/N: Hey guys sorry that it's been awhile I have school six days a week so time is hard to find. Hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

Lord Momo lay down in his bedroom. Appa was sleeping peacefully beside him. The lemurs' thoughts were taken up by the Shipping Wars. Koh had been missing for awhile, most likely helping his fanon pals. That meant he had to be ready to squash them at any moment.

The lemur sat up. "Time to send a message to Rawles."

0o0o0oo0

"Alright my fellow semi-canons, are we ready for the first meeting of the Kick Canon/Fanon Ass Club?" Ocrcam07 asked.

TokoToTheEnd nodded and smiled giddily. "Yes, we are all ready Captain OcracamO7!"

The Toko, Kacest, Katoph, Harutara, Zue and Ty Mai ship captains sat together in a long table a la the League of Doom. Ocracam stood up and lowered a projection screen. A very pretty looking diagram appeared of the canon ships.

"At this moment the canon ships team is made up of Kataang, Maiko, Sukka, Jinko, Soko, Onjaang and ChangZula. The main ones are Kataang, Maiko and Sukka."

Tamerlan, the male Zue captain, stood up. "According to my spies who have infiltrated the Sukka ship, the Canons are currently celebrating their victory over the Fanons since, all of their ships are mostly likely going to happen." Tamerlan flipped through another paper. "Also, on an added note, the Sukka captain, Windsong has been missing for three weeks now. S.S.S has taken over as temporary captain."

The Tokka captain smiled. "That is an interesting turn of events. Any news from you Memento Mori?"

Memento Mori, the Kacest captain, stood up. "Yes, ahem, it seems that Maladin, the egotistical _Zucest_captain, has officially joined with the Fanons. Apparently, there was a bit of a cat-fight between him and Lady Rawles." Memento lifted a picture of the two awesome-haired captains fighting, and pulling each others, said awesome hair. "The event ended with several split ends and Maladin joining the fanons."

"Damn, speaking of them aren't they looking for ManonLeChat?" TokoToTheEnd asked.

There was a collected gasp among the K.C.F.A Club. ManonLeChat's crimes against canon were infamous even after so long.

"But…Lord Momo…he-he can stop them right?" asked the oversensitive Harutara captain, ThatGuy.

"Lord Momo is too busy with Appa. I heard they were up all night. Besides we have to be quiet about this. As long as the fanon's keep under the radar, the canon's will be too wrapped up in their egos to do anything," Ocrcam07 explained.

"So do we just wait for them to unleash that mad-woman upon us?"

"Exactly."

0o0o0o

"If I don't see and soon I'm going to kill something," Tonnie groaned hanging her head over the ship rail.

"Well if you must please let it be him," Ming Ue said eyeing Maladin, who was still trying to fix his hair to perfection.

Tonnie let out another groan. "I can't believe I'm missing _The Runaway_ for this. I hope we are not wasting our time."

"The only time that is wasted, is the time we spend complaining," SMBH pointed out as she hovered over her ever growing Zhaoburns fanfiction. "We are gonna be there soon enough. And it seems I was the only one that remembered the offering."

Maladin looked up from his mirror with interest. "Offering? Like human/child heart offering?"

SMBH reached into a black duffle bag and pulled out a chest. "The offering is in here."

Ming Ue and Maladin peaked around the chest, interest about the content of the chest. When SMBH opened it with a smile the interest of Maladin and Ming Ue vanished as the mystery of the chest was exposed.

"Um SMBH? What is that supposed to be?" Maladin asked looking into the chest.

"It's a jar of dirt."

"Yes, I see that but that doesn't explain why I'm looking at it…"

"_Yeah but guys_ I heard this is a Toph episode, I need to check it for any Taang hints," Tonnie whined as she looked out at the water. "I hate this."

Ming Ue was about to tell her friend something when Yong Wing ran up to her urgently. "Captain Ming Ue, I have seen the Sokkla ship in the distance."

"Oh yes! Please let's stop there Ming Ue! They have television!" Tonnie begged gripping her best friend's feet.

"Tonnie I can't put our mission on halt just for you, it'll set us back a chapter."

Maladin looked at Ming Ue with a scowl of his face. "Isn't Rowen on the Sokkla ship?"

"…Yea?"

"Then we are stopping there immediately, she has to fix my hair!"

"_There is nothing wrong with your hair! You egotistical pain-in-the_…"

"Flattery latter, stop this ship!"

Ming Ue groaned and pulled her hair. "Fine! Fine! We will put our mission to save our Fanons only hope on hold for your hair and Tonnie's Toph fix!" She turned to Worker72. "_You_ random person make contact with Captain RoRo!"

Worker72 nodded and ran off to the helm.

Ming Ue rubbed her temples as SMBH walked up to her. "Between you and me I think we're the only sane ones here."

The Zutara captain looked up at the loony captain and her tin-foil hat. With a sigh she nodded. "You know I think your right…"

0o0o0o0

Rawles was hosting her 3rd annual MAIKO FOREVER AND EVER party. All the canon and semi-sorta-canon ships had been invited to celebrate the wonder that is, Maiko.

Avani came up to her dark-haired comrade with a smile. "Well someone is already proclaiming their canon victory? Feeling confident?"

Rawles gave her "friend" a bored look. "Why shouldn't I feel confident? All the episodes have been pointing towards Maiko, there is nothing to be worried about."

The Kataang captain rolled her eyes a bit and took a sip of her drink. "Don't let your cockiness go to your head, Rawles. After all Maiko hasn't been given the same strong background as other ships."

Rawles's eyes narrowed. "By other ships you mean Kataang?"

"Well, to name one," Avani commented snidely. "After all do have three seasons under our belt while you have a handful of episode and a comic…which half of the fan base hasn't seen."

"Wow…now that the competition is gone the claws are coming out, huh?"

Avani placed her glass on a tray as a waiter passed by. The Kataang shipper's eyes locked with her Maikoian ally. "All I am saying is that you should watch your back. Because I will be the most dominant ship once the fanon competition is eliminated. If you get in my way I'm taking you down. Painfully."

The tension was thick, the two temporary allies glaring evilly at each other when S.S.S walked by and hugged them both.

"Hello my lovely ladies!"

"Physical contact," Rawles grumbled.

"Sorry," he only removed his arm from around Rawles. "So what's going on?"

"Nothing that concerns a Private."

S.S.S puffed out his chest proudly. "I'll have you know I am no longer a Private, I am the temporary Captain of the Sukka ship."

"You?" Avani snorted. "What happened to Windsong?"

"He's been missing on the Sokkla ship for weeks. We have assumed that he is dead or worse _castrated_."

Rawles rolled her eyes. "I'm sure the fan girls are weeping as we speak."

0o0o0o0

Tonnie ran into RoRo's arms almost passionately. "Toph! Runaway! Give ME!!"

O.O…

RoRo pointed towards the computer room. "The episode clip is on the computer help yourself…"

Tonnie held RoRo tightly. "Thank you! I love you!" Tonnie gave RoRo a fast kiss before running into the computer.

"What's wrong with your best friend?" RoRo asked whipping her mouth in disgust.

Ming Ue shook her head as she sat with SMBH. "Crazy over here is my best friend at the moment."

Maladin stormed into the room and stepped up to RoRo. "Where is Rowen?"

"Keeping guard on Windsong in the basement."

"Of course she is," he walked down to the basement.

"So what are you all doing here? Aren't you going to TwilightRose's neutral ship to free that crazy Zutaraian?"

"ManonLeChat…and yes we were on our way to that when a certain _TAANG SHIPPER_ MADE US STOP!"

"I love you too!" Tonnie yelled from the computer room.

"Anyway why are keeping Windsong here?"

"We are going to use him as a bribe for the Sukka ships, although no one was has answered my messages."

Ming Ue blinked. "But, I got a message that S.S.S has been made temporary captain of the Sukka ship."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"Damn it! We spent weeks keeping Rowen away from him for nothing."

SMBH smiled and grabbed Ming Ue's arms. "Come let's go tell Rowen the good news!"

Downstairs in the basement Rowen was fixing Maladin's hair to perfection, she was finishing up by applying the SexyFine hair spray when her friends came down.

"Hey guys what's up?" Rowen said happily waving at SMBH.

Ming Ue looked around the basement and saw the gagged and bound Sukka captain in the corner of his cage. She always saw the many dagger, knives, axes and chopped hotdogs on the floor.

"We have good news!" SMBH exclaimed evilly. "Very good news?"

"Like Cookies n Cream good or Naked Brad Pitt good?"

"Naked Brad Pitt and John Cena good."

"Do tell," Rowen said eagerly lowering her comb.

"Hey!_Woman_! Finish up what you're doing or…"

The Yukka captain covered her "friend's" mouth and waited for SMBH to speak.

"Well S.S.S has taken over the Sukka ship so Windsong is no longer captain!"

"And," RoRo added, "since he is no longer captain we have no reason to keep him here anymore. Which means he's all yours."

Rowen looked at Windsong then RoRo then back at Windsong again. "Wait…you mean I own him now?"

"Um…yeah…in a sense…"

The Yukka captain fainted.

0o0o0o0

Back at the fantastic Maiko party, Rawles was on the deck of her ship and frowned. She was annoyed and slightly worried.

It was true that so far the canon events had placed Maiko at the top, but as Avani had mentioned her ship still lacked the strong foundation that Kataang had.

"Bad enough I had to deal with a crazy fanon ship. I can't even trust my own comrades now."

"It's a terrible fate that we can not trust the ones we are allied with," said the voice of Morgan Freeman.

Rawles turned around and bowed. "Lord Momo, how are you this evening?"

"I am fine my canon warrior, but I have come to warn you of an impending plot."

"If it's about Avani I would rather not know about it."

"No, not her it's the fanons."

Rawles's eyes opened wide as she raised her head. "What have then done?"

"They have gone to release ManonLeChat."

The Maiko captain shuddered dangerously at the sound of that name…that infamous name. "How close are they?"

"They are leaving the Sokkla ship and will reach the neutral ship in a week," Momo's voice took on a new level of seriousness. "You must stop them."

Rawles bowed deeply with an evil glint in her eyes. "Trust me…I will stop them."

Lord Momo placed a paw on her head. "You do this and I assure you…no one will end Maiko. Not now…now ever."

_Perfect._

TO BE CONTINUED…

PREVIEW:

"_Okay so about his punishment what should we do?" Rowen asked excitedly._

"_I say we go for castration it's classical, painful, hilarious," Tonnie suggested._

"_Its so cliché," SMBH stated. "I say we pull for public execution. That's more entertaining."_

_Rowen turned to Ming Ue. "What do you think?"_

_Ming Ue thought for a moment before a light went off above her head. "How about Public Castration?"_

_The girls looked at each other for a moment and then nodded._

"_That sounds good!"_


	14. Chapter 14:Canons 2 Fanons 100000

**Hey guys. I wanted to wait until the Day of Black Sun aired to start this chapter I thought it would be fun to show the canon reaction to the event. Enjoy.**

"WE GOT OUR CONFESSION! WE GOT OUR CONFESSION! WE GOT OUT CONFESSION!" sang out the hundred of Kataang shippers yelled in joy.

The Kataang ship was having the long awaited _Kataang Confession_ Party. It was three seasons in the making, but now at last the biggest canon ship had its ultimate hour of glory. Let's see the Zutaraians deny that.

Avani, was basking in all the Kataangy goodness that was going around. She'd never seen the crew so active and converted shippers were coming in like crazy.

"Take that Ming Ue!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "Sri!"

The young Kataang Private peaked up from behind the bar. "Yes, Captain?"

"Has word come back from the Zutara or Maiko captains yet?"

"No, both Rawles and Ming Ue have been missing for awhile? Do you think we should be concerned?"

"Concerned about what?" Avani asked snorting as she ate a grape. "What are they gonna hate on us even more? Let's just enjoy our victory."

₤Ω₤

The Kataangers were online making videos, sigs, icons and wallpaper showing off the glory that is the Kataang confession. It was a great day to be a canon shipper.

"So what do you think we should do now?" Agent KP55 asked.

"Well I was thinking we should go onto the _DH_ site and start some trouble," Tsukikage1213 suggested. "I mean we actually have some Zutaraians trying to say that the kiss didn't mean anything!"

"Those bastards are so annoying!" Liselle129 yelled slamming. "They are just jealous because Aang and Katara have everything that they want Zuko and Katara to have…and then some."

"And were the bad-guys simply because we want them so see the error if their ways," Softballgirl9411 said with a sigh. "If only they could embrace the pure and beauty of Kataang. Things would be so much easier."

KP55 rolled her eyes a little bit and logged on. "Well until then how about we just continue our friendly _debates_ with out shipping rivals."

₤Ω₤

Tonnie and Rowen crept up slowly outside of Ming Ue's room. Since the airing of the real Kataang confession she had locked herself in her room. Tonnie had been nominated to go alert the Zutaraian that they were twenty minutes away from TwilightRose's prison, but she refused to go alone.

"Are you sure it's safe?" Rowen asked. "I mean an angry Zutaraian is like an angry pit-bull. It will bite you."

"Please don't remind me," Tonnie said with a groan. She reached out and tapped on the door slightly. "Ming…Ue…?"

The door swung open and out popped the Zutara captain with a bored look on her face.

"Hey guys…have we reached yet?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

Tonnie cleared her throat. "We are only twenty minutes away from the prison," she looked at her friend carefully. "Are you feeling okay?"

Ming Ue raised an eyebrow slightly. "Of course…why wouldn't I be?"

"We thought you might be upset because of the Kataang confession," Rowen told her in almost a hush of a voice.

Ming Ue blinked and in a moment a very Azula-The Beach laugh erupted from her mouth. Tonnie and Rowen inched father away from her.

"Oh come on as if I would be upset because of _that_, that kiss _so_ did not rock Katara's world. Besides after episodes of continuous Maiko, just knowing that there will be no Maikouts for awhile is good enough for me. However, I was kind of irked that that Fire Nation guard stole my name."

Rowen let out a sigh and grabbed Ming Ue's hand. "Well good. Now come on you have to help me brainstorm Windsong's punishment."

Tonnie rolled her eyes walking behind the two girls. "How thrilling."

₤Ω₤

_**Knock Knock**_

"_**Enter…"**_

Cue Twilight Zone theme music.

A young woman opened the door and Koh sat on a large platform surrounded by groups of women in red, clad bikinis (sound familiar).

"Master Koh, Lord Momo and Lady Appa are here to see you."

"Thank you Ms. Dent, let them in."

The young woman nodded and bowed, she stepped to the side of the room allow Lord Momo and his wife through.

"Ah Lady Appa you are looking quite ravishing today. Has your new coat grown in already?"

Appa giggled and have Koh a pat with his-her tail. "Oh Koh you are such a flirt."

Momo cleared his throat loudly. "_Anyway,_ Koh I have come to request that you tell the fanon ships to return to their ports. The Shipping War is over."

Koh laughed and leaned back. "What makes you say that?"

"Obviously because of the Kataang confession, there will no need for the Shipping Wars to continue. After all what possible Zutara proof could be there be?"

"Is this supposed to be your way of compromising?" Koh asked with a snort.

"No, Koh, this is your last chance or else there will be holding back any longer. Bring the fanon ships back. If they unleash ManonLeChat I'll…"

"You'll _what_? Annoy me even more?"

Momo was silent as the great centipede creature slid up to his full form. "I'm sorry to disappoint you Momo, but the tables have turned."

Appa took this moment to step in blocking Momo from the insect mod. "Koh I suggest you settle down unless you want the other Mods to come."

Koh laughed and lowered himself down until he was face to face with Appa. "My sweet Appa, it is the Mods who should be afraid of me."

₤Ω₤

The fanon four, Ming Ue, Tonnie, Rowen and SMBH were brainstorming the future of the Sukka captain, Windsong.

"Okay so about his punishment what should we do?" Rowen asked excitedly.

"I say we go for castration it's classical, painful, hilarious," Tonnie suggested.

"Its so cliché," SMBH stated. "I say we pull for public execution. That's more entertaining."

Rowen turned to Ming Ue. "What do you think?"

Ming Ue thought for a moment before a light went off above her head. "How about Public Castration?"

The girls looked at each other for a moment and then nodded.

"That sounds good!"

"But where are we gonna get a guillotine?" SMBH asked. "I could always order one."

"No, Maladin has one in his room. I'll just steal it from him when I get back," Rowen said jotting down some notes.

Ming Ue coughed something that sounded a lot like Rowladin, which earned a glare from Rowen.

Agent RandomLuv knocked on the door and saluted the captains. "Captains we have reached TwilightRose's Prison. Captain Maladin is already waiting for you all in the transport boat."

Tonnie stretched and sat up. "Thank goodness, let's go get this crazy lady."

"Ditto, I have to be back in time for the Teoji celebration," SMBH said.

Maladin was waiting impatiently for the females to arrive. Once he saw them coming he let out an exasperated sigh.

"Can you four be any slower? There is no reason for you to get dolled up."

"Pfft your one to talk Mr. Can't-Have-A-Single-Hair-Out-Of-Place!" Ming Ue commented as she got onboard the small boat.

SMBH slid into the board with an eager grin. "I'm so excited I've only heard about Twilight's ship in school."

₤Ω₤

Now while our fanon captains travel to the Prison I will take this moment to enlighten you about the Shipping World.

Other than the Ships that roam the Sea of Chi, there are two places where shippers exist. The Shipping Academy and Twilight Rose's Ship.

The Shipping Academy is the place where shipping begins. Young innocent minds are taken and set loose into the place where shipping is the most powerful:_ ASN, DH, YouTube and DeviantArt. _

Once there the students are pushed to read and watch every piece of shipping that there is to offer. After 72 hours of non-stop shipping, the ones who have been corrupted by shipping are taken and placed into the ship that they have chosen.

However, some minds do not fall for the propaganda and stupidity of shipping. These are the ones who see no point to the Shipping Wars and only wish to have peace. Those, non-shippers are seen as the evils of society. If they refuse to convert and pick a ship they are taken to Twilight Rose's Prison also known as the Neutral Ship.

₤Ω₤

"My Taang have these people ever heard of rainbows?" Tonnie asked as they stepped onto the floating prison.

"I don't know," SMBH said as she saw the hanging corpses and rats running around. "I think it's quite quaint, in a Jack the Ripper sort of way."

"Hey guys," greeting a happy voice. A young, and very pink woman appeared before them with a big, unnaturally happy, smile on her face. "Welcome Captains."

"Good evening TwilightRose," Rowen said with a smile. "Thanks for letting us come. I know you could get in trouble for this."

"Oh its no problem at all," TwilightRose said in her sugary sweet voice. "Please come this way ManonLeChat is kept in the dungeon."

"Now she is creepy," SMBH told Tonnie.

"And the fact that she raids Ty Lee's closet isn't too comforting either."

Up ahead Ming Ue was speaking to TwilightRose in concern of ManonLeChat and her condition while imprisoned.

"Does she still have her sanity?"

"Well she's a Zutaraian, so she didn't really have much to begin with, but she does have fits of rage and sometimes throws rats across the room."

"Great," Maladin commented. "Does she mark her territory as well?"

"As a matter of fact she does…"

As they got closer wails and howls could be heard coming from the prison cell farther down the hall.

"_Zutara…Evidence…Foreshadowing…Proof…Blue Lady…Forever…,"_ wailed the voice.

"There she is the last Zutara Canonist Scholar, ManonLeChat."

A woman lay in the cell, long thick hair covering her face like a vial. Her only clothing was a long brown dress, which looked more like a sheet than actually clothing. Her skin looked caked with dirty and a potent odor was coming from her body.

The odor slid through the air and up Tonnie's nostrils. She gagged and stepped back from the cell.

"Oh Sweet Taang!" she pulled out a bottle of perfume and began spraying in every direction, which only made the smell worse.

"STOP! STOP! Perfume only makes stink worse!" Rowen yelled grabbing the perfume bottle.

"Will all of you be quiet?!" Ming Ue yelled before turning back to ManonLeChat. "Hello…ManonLeChat?"

The figure turned slowly, her face was still covered by long hair. "Yes…" a raspy voice answered.

"My name is Ming Ue. I'm the current Zutara captain. We are in the middle of a Zutaraian crisis," she groaned. "Maiko and Kataang have had canon moments after canon moments and even with all the foreshadowing and fanart we put out, we have members converting left and right. It'll be the end of Zutara without your help!"

ManonLeChat turned her body full over and wrapped to hands around the cell bars. "Come here…" she ordered.

"Yes?" Ming Ue answered eagerly. "What wisdom do you have to share with me?"

"Oh this should be enlightening," Maladin mumbled sarcastically.

"Do…do…you?"

"Yes!?"

"Do you have _Hot Pockets_?

(Insert Anime fall here)

"No…we don't have any _Hot Pockets_," Ming Ue said through gritted teeth.

"THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!!!" ManonLeChat screamed, making Ming Ue fall back hard.

"Twilight! I thought you said she wasn't crazy!?"

"She's a Zutara Canonist Scholar…of course she's crazy," Twilight said with a giggle. "But don't worry…she's not always like this. All you have to do is give her some _Hot Pockets _and she'll be back to normal."

SMBH snorted. "Whatever normal means anyway."

"CAPTAIN TONGONE! CAPTAIN TONGONE!!" screamed Vigor.

"What is it V?

"It's…It's Master Koh…he's making an announcement."

₤Ω₤

The sky was grey as Koh's painted face appeared in the sky, he had a please smile on his face which scared, Avani and Rawles as they watched from their respective ships.

"Hello and good evening to all those who are watching right now, especially the Kataang and Maiko ships. Now today the Canon Mod, Momo, came to me telling me that because of the Kataang confession the Shipping War is over. He is mistaken!"

Rawles was on her ship watching the sight with anger and fear. What had Momo unleashed upon them all?

"In fact this is not the end of the Shipping Wars. In fact this is the beginning of a new era…the fandom era. Here me all fandom shippers and all the Mods who have doubted us from the beginning. Today we the Fanons…break away from Mod rule and hereby announce our secession from the Shipping Community."

From onboard the prison ship the Fanon Captains looked up in a state of shock. Secession from the Shipping Community…from the Mods.

"But that means…" Tonnie started.

"We no longer have to obey any on the Mods rules," Maladin finished with a grin. "I guess that means the Human Sacrifices is back on."

"And no more rules about how to treat P.O.W's," Rowen said rubbing her hands together. "Won't Windsong be so _trilled_ to hear about that?"

Ming Ue had a slight frown on her face, Tonnie noticed and touched her shoulder.

"What's wrong? I thought you would be happy. No rules."

"I know…I mean its great and all, but I kinda wanted to win fair and square so that when I won, it would be cause of us just being better."

Tonnie bowed her head slightly in understanding. "Oh…"

"Yeah," Ming Ue said putting a hand on her hip. "OH WELL!" she said turning around with a smile. "A win is a win and I'll take it!" She turned to the other Fanon leaders. "Alright guys let's pack up ManonLeChat and head back home, we have some propaganda to spread!"

**Well there you have it. Thanks to Momo the Fanon ships have one advantage over the canon ships, they don't have to obey the Mods rules anymore. You can imagine that Avani and Rawles are not happy about that. Also ManonLeChat, once fed and washed will become a very important Zutaraian character.**

**This chapter marks the beginning of Shipping Wars: Part II. Why is it a Part II? Because it sounds cool.**

_**Exert of next chapter:**_

_Avani grabbed Momo by the neck and held on tightly as she shook him hard. His big head moving like a furry bobble-head toy._

"_LISTEN TO ME YOU STUPID RAT-BAT THING! I AM NOT LOOSING TO ZUTARA! DO YOU HERE ME?! I WILL KILL YOU, APPA AND KATARA HERSELF BEFORE I EVER LOOSE TO ZUTARA! DO YOU HERE ME!"_

"_Well I think all that choking has been distracting him," Rawles commented._


	15. Chapter 15: NEW CAPTAIN ON THE BLOCK

"Hello good evening this is Jasmine, Shipping Wars reporter, with your special new bulletin

_**Yes, I know I suck for not updating faster, but to be honest I was so sick of the Avatar Fandom I was tired of it. It's funny because I had this chapter since December, but never posted it. I was having a problem with shipping in general so I needed to get away from this for awhile. Anyway to make up for it here are three back to back chapters of Shipping Wars. Warning there will be spoilers up to The Boiling Rock in them. Enjoy and comment . **_

"Hello good evening this is Jasmine, Shipping Wars reporter, with your special new bulletin. The Fanon ships have broken away from Moderators control. The week has been crazy with thefts being committed by the Fanons. They've been stealing weapons and other items. Here we have **Tonne Tongone**, Taang captain, stealing canon cannons."

Said Taang captain was seen with her weapons of mass disruption armed and blasting. **Kelis's Milkshake** was her song of choice.

"Come on! We don't have all day grab the goods and let's go!" she yelled as her ship subjects gawked at the canon cannons, since of course they had never owned any.

"Makes me proud to ship Taang!" Jasmine said with a smile. "Also in our news the Kataang and Maiko captains, **Rawles** and **Avani** are going half insane since news has come out that **S.S.S**, the fill-in Sukka captain, is going to join forces with the Fanons. Speaking of Sukka, Windsong's public (worse thing that can happen to a man) will be held tomorrow so all those ladies who have dated the infamous captain will be there with popcorn in hand. Good night and thanks for watching!"

Click! The television turned black and SMBH looked up at Ming Ue. "Is S.S.S really gonna join up with us?"

Ming Ue nodded with a smile. "Yep he's coming to sign the papers tomorrow at Windsong's…ahem…ceremony."

"Speaking of which," SMBH started, "Rowen did you get Maladin's guillotine?"

The blonde pouted and shook her head. "No, that butthead said he doesn't use it on those heads. But I did find and alternative." She reached under her sofa and pulled out a half rusted saw. "I figured this would be a more painful experience. Ming Ue agreed to do the work."

SMBH lifted her tinfoil hat. "You? You're going to do it?"

Ming Ue nodded with a sigh. "Friendship means sawing off your best-friends' ex's best friend…plus it's a very late Christmas Gift."

The door swung open and in came Tonnie holding shopping bags filled with weapons. "Hidy Ho. I have come baring gifts! I got stuff for everyone including ManonLeChat and Nandireya. Where are they anyway?"

"Throwing darts at a picture of Maiko."

"Of course."

"Speaking of Maiko, Rawles is just going to go crazy when she finds out that one of her allies is going to cross over on our side," Rowen said with a smile.

0o0o0

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" screamed Rawles as she threw an idol statue of Momo at the wall.

"That stupid lemur bastard!" she yelled. "How could he allow the Fanons to leave Mod control? Without that they have every freedom! As if they weren't already breaking most rules!"

The door to her office slammed open and Avani stood there with a tied up mini-Momo. "I caught the little bastard. He was running away from Mizuki. She was trying to eat him."

"You should have let her," The Maiko captain hissed. "Idiot how could you allow this to happen?"

"You make it sound as if I gave them permission! I didn't know Koh was gonna break the rules?"

"You didn't know Koh, the Facestealer and spiritual playboy, would BREAK THE RULES!" Rawles screamed. "What are you animals doing up there?!"

Avani grabbed Momo by the neck and held on tightly as she shook him hard. His big head moving like a furry bobble-head toy.

"LISTEN TO ME YOU STUPID RAT-BAT THING! I AM NOT LOOSING TO ZUTARA! DO YOU HERE ME?! I WILL KILL YOU, APPA AND KATARA HERSELF BEFORE I EVER LOOSE TO ZUTARA! DO YOU HERE ME!"

"Well I think all that choking has been distracting him," Rawles commented.

Avani dropped the mini-lemur and growled. "As if that wasn't bad enough, but S.S.S is going to side with **them**! Sukka is our biggest ally, we can not lose them!"

"Then we have one option," Rawles said. "We have to break into the Yukka ship and free Windsong."

"Um, okay I think Windsong is hot and everything, but no way in hell I'm going on that ship. If Rowen finds out..."

"WHO CARES!!" Rawles yelled. "If we loose this war we'll be grass anyway!"

Avani rubbed her temples and nodded. "Alright, for the good of Kataang I'll do this. How are we going to get in though?"

"According to my spies Rowen is going to see Maladin tonight and her crew is going to gather around into the auditorium to watch _The Notebook_…"

"Eww…chick flick much."

"…so there will be no one guarding Windsong's cell all we have to do is get in, grab him and get out," Rawles looked at Avani as if this might be to complex for her Kataang mind. "Is this clear enough for you or should I tell you again, just so it's clear?"

"Ha…ha," Avani scowled. "I'll be ready on time you just make sure your spies have told you the right information. I don't to end up like Windsong."

"We won't." Rawles turned towards Momo who was still lying on the floor helpless. "And as for you _Lord_ Momo, I suggest you try and fix this or else I'm gonna personally make you wish you have never been created."

"But…but…what can I do?" he muttered.

"How about you actually get out there and help us win a battle. Bring us some weapons, like the Canon Cannon 89?"

"Maiko is not good enough to get the…"

Rawles stepped on Momo's tail makin him yowl out in pain.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he screamed trying to pull it out from under Rawles's foot.

0o0o0

Tonnie had shared out her gifts with the rest of the group, before they all started to leave. SMBH had to go give her meeting on the canonization of Zhaoburns and Rowen had to "meet" Maladin.

"I'm only gonna help him pick out some human sacrifices! It is _**not**_ a _**date**_! Stop laughing Ming Ue!!"

Ming Ue just shook her head and smiled. "Whatever you say blonde, I have Avatar to download."

Tonnie sighed as she ate a chocolate. "Remember when we weren't allowed to download Avatar episodes. This rule-less life is pretty good."

"Yeah, anyway Ming please make sure you get some sleep I don't want your arm cramping up for tomorrow."

Ming Ue rolled her eyes. "Yes, Rowan I'll be fit as a fiddle for tomorrow."

The Yukka captain nodded before stepping into the elevator and leaving. Tonnie sat up and looked at her BFF carefully. "Ming Ue are sure that you're going to go through with this thing tomorrow?"

Ming Ue smiled. "There will be nothing happening tomorrow because Windsong will be gone."

Tonnie smirked. "How did you do it?"

"Did you see the news today?"

"Yeah on my way over here I caught it."

"Well, that part about S.S.S joining us was true, but Rawles and Avani had no idea about it," Ming Ue smirked. "And can you imagine how ticked off they are gonna be when they find out they will be losing their strongest ally? And the only way to fix that would be to…"

"Free Windsong! Ming Ue you evil genius! I just hope Rowen never finds out about this. She'll kill you."

"That's why this will be **Unspeakable Event # 3**."

"Gottca."

0o0o0

"I can't believe that traitor," Avatardestiny scowled as she washed dishes in the Sukka kitchen.

Aurora nodded as she dried them off with a disgusted look on his face. "How dare he attempt to ally us with those no good Yukka shippers!"

"You wanna know why he did it!" Icy Ashford asked with a dangerous hiss. "He said it's because Rowen is a pretty cute blonde!"

"That jackass!" Aurora yelled smashing the dishes onto the floor. "I'm sorry but he has to go! I want Captain Windsong back!"

"Well how are we gonna get him back?"

"No idea but all I know is that if we don't get rid of him soon I'm joining Tokka."

"Momo help us."

"Actually, I think I have a better idea."

0o0o0

It was that time. Rawles and Avani were waiting outside the Yukka ship, they could hear the girly sighs and giggles as the movie began to play.

"Alright, the stupid movie is playing."

Rawles took out a map of the Yukka ship and laid it out in front of them.

"Okay, Windsong is being held in the dungeon near the crazy chick's room. All we have to do is get through ten guards, two security doors and then find a way to open the cage," Rawles explained.

Avani looked at Rawles with wide eyes. "That's all! You expect us to do all of this by ourselves? This isn't _**The Boiling Rock **_you know!"

"Oh shut your trap before I kick you in the (Avatar State)! We have a job to do and I'm not gonna have you mess this up! Windsong must be free!"

"Yeah, yeah I heard you the first time!"

The two Canon captains walked down the hallway until they saw the ten Yukka guards watching the doors.

"How are we gonna get pass them?" Avani asked.

"Simple we walk right in."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Rawles, I know we aren't exactly known for our creativity, but how is that a plan?"

"Avani, relax its only Yukka shippers. What do you think they are gonna do? Use their moon powers on us?" Rawles asked with a snort as she started walking towards them.

Sniffling Avani gulped and nodded. "Yes…"

As they walked towards the guards one put her spear out. "Halt! No one is to see the prisoner. Direct Orders from Captain Rowen."

"Oh, we are not trying to see the prisoner. It's just time for a…guard switch! Yeah, that sounds believable. After all, the Captain wouldn't want you to miss all of _The Notebook_ watching over that swine."

"Yes!" The guard exclaimed happily. "Come on girls, the best part should be coming up soon. The rain kiss!"

SQUEEEE!!

The fan-girls ran from their posts dropping their spears and all as they went to go watch the biggest chick flick since _Titanic_ and before _Atonement_.

"Wow, that was…very easy," Avani remarked.

"It's a fanfiction Avani, it can't be too complicated," Rawles stated as she picked up one of the staffs and used to open the doors. As the last one opened a cell could be seen with Windsong in the middle of it. His eyes widened in shock.

"Avani? Rawles? What are you two doing here?"

"We are here to rescue you?"

"Took you long enough."

"Sorry about that it took Rawles forever to agree to do this," Avani said with a sympathy smile. 

Rawles didn't even bother to smack her and used the spear to pry open the gate to the cell. It opened with a POP.

"Alright idiots, let's get out of here and get you to the Sukka ship before any of the guards come back."

0o0o0

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Where is everyone?" Avani asked as she knocked on the Sukka ship door. Just before she went to knock it again IcyAshford opened the door.

"What? How may we Sukka you?" she asked.

"Hi Icy!" Avani said. "Look who we got!"

She and Rawles stepped away to reveal Windsong.

Dun DUN Da!

"Oh My Suki!" she exclaimed. "Girls! Come out here!"

Slowly the Sukka shippers started to come out and all seemed more shock than the other. Windsong raised an eyebrow.

"They don't look so…joyful."

Rawles took a step up. "Hey aren't you guys happy? We got your Captain back and now you don't have to follow S.S.S anymore."

Spartangirl12 shook her head sadly. "Tch, you know what? Uh-Uh! We already got rid of S.S.S and we appointed a new captain."

"WHO!"

0o0o0

**The Next Day**

"WHY!" Rowen yelled as she cried on Maladin's shoulder. "Why can I never have my revenge? They let him have it in Gladiator!"

Maladin sighed and pat his "friend" on the back, whilst rolling his eyes. "Please stop crying the sound is irritating."

SMBH giggled as she turned to Ming Ue and Tonnie. "They're so cute together."

"Yeah, like two psychos in a pod," Tonnie said before clicking on the news.

"Good Morning Sea of Chi! This is your official Shipping Wars news network and I'm your official anchor Jasmine of the Taang ship! We have some breaking news today. Windsong mysteriously escaped from prison onboard the Yukka ship last night…"

Tonnie and Ming Ue shared a subtly knowing glace. "…however he is not the Captain of Sukka anymore!"

"WHAT!?" they all exclaimed turning up the volume.

"That's right and neither is S.S.S. The new Captain of Sukka is GEORGIE. The very rare creative artist who is always seen sporting a very trendy hat, she has decided to make her first act as Captain, public on our station."

The screen shifted to Georgie who was sitting cross legged on a chair with a warm smile. "Hello world, I'm Georgie the new captain of Sukka. If any of you are wondering, and I'm sure Rowen is, Windsong and S.S.S are no longer with us. They have both been banished to Gary-Sue Island, where they will never see another woman again and will be surrounded by men who are twenty times cooler than they are."

Rowen sniffled and smiled. "I like this new girl."

The smile on Georgie's face faded. "Now down to business, Sukka is a Canon Ship and I will promptly and surely be joining the Canon Elite to take down those who wish to ruin Avatar with rapid fan-girling and half-baked idea. Georgie don't play that (Aang). So Zutara and all you fanons out there watch out because I'm gonna take you down." The smile came back quickly. "Also, I'm looking for a new Private any takers?"

The screen changed back to Jasmine. "Well fanons we are back to square one. Are you sure you can handle it?"

**Well guys there it is. I know you all hate me for making you wait, but like I said, Avatar Shipping was annoying me. Sorry. V.V**

**This chapter is dedicated to Windsong and all the people who have left ASN miss you a bunch.**


	16. Chapter 16: ENDGAME! OR NOT

Shipping is bad…m'kay

**Shipping is bad…m'kay!**

"Hello and welcome this is Jasmine, Shipping Wars reporter, with your special new bulletin. It's been a terrible time for fanon shippers everywhere especially Zutara and Taang. With the episodes from the Western Air Temple onto the Boiling Rock it seems like Maiko and Kataang are endgame at the moment. The new Sukka captain Georgie, seen wearing her infamous hat, has recently joined the Axis Powers…ahem…Canon Ships in an attempt to end the Shipping Wars and pronounce it ENDGAME! The Fanon Ships are having a meeting now to see what can be done about this problem."

"The Galactic Republic for The Greatness of Fanon had been brought to order!" Doomsday yelled. "Chancellor Ming Ue of Zutara had allowed for the senate to begin!"

"We need a plan to make sure that ENDGAME is not announced by the Mods!" SMBH yelled from her seat. "I am _this _close to making Zhaoburns officially canonized by the Mods and if ENDGAME is called all my hard work will be lost!"

"Not to mention we'll have to all officially convert to one of the Canon ships and dismantle our own," TokoToTheEnd said. "Since The Western Air Temple we are finally getting more fans for Toko! I will not allow my ship to be ripped off the Sea of Chi because of…Maiko! I mean yeah Mai is awesome now, but still!"

"Plus, now more and more ships are joining them Captain Avatar Yuffie from the Jetko ship has recently allied with them officially," Tokka Captain Ocracam07. "TBR killed Tokka and I will not stand for that!"

"Why is this (Mai) hole still here?" Rowen asked. "Didn't he betray us like three times?"

"It was only once you crazy blonde (Ty Lee)! If you don't want me here I'll just go?"

"To where? Gary-Sue Island with Windsong?" Rowen asked with a snort. "The Canons don't want you and we are stuck with you because you have a lot of followers."

"Rowen, stop ticking off the Tokka fans please. They are best allies we have," Tonnie begged.

Maladin spoke up. "I think we should just go into Flaming Knives and start annoying some Maikoians. I do it all the time."

Ming Ue stood up abruptly. "Are you MAD!" she yelled. "One does not simply walk into Mordor…I mean Flaming Knives! They will _**eat us**_!"

Vigor ran into the room and whispered something in Tonnie's ear. The Taang Captain shot up. "Quick! Channel 9, put it on right now!"

Scrambling to get the remote SMBH took it and put on the channel, there was Avani, Rawles and Georgie sitting together on the screen.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentleman," Georgie said as she adjusted her hat. "We are the Canon Elite and tonight we wish to offer peace to you, shippers in the Sea of Chi."

"Since the airing of TBR people are finally realizing how good Mai and Maiko are, took you (Iroh)'s long enough and more and more people have been joining us," Rawles continued.

"So as a peace offering we have decided to start a new ship for our main rivals the Zutaraians. We call it Kazuko! Kazuko is the pairing of Katara and Zuko in a friendship way. This way we can assure that Zutaraians will have a place to go after ENDGAME is announced," Avani smiled a big cheesy grin. "And they'll finally know what it means to be Canon."

"Ta!"

The t.v screen went blank and all eyes turned to Ming Ue, whose eyebrow was twitching. "Who the (Katara) does she think she is! How dare she make a ship with my people?! This is an outrage! What the (Aang) is a Kazuko? It sounds like an instrument!"

Maladin leaned into Rowen's direction. "That's a pretty good idea from the Canon's. Did they come up with it by themselves?" he asked in a whisper.

"It's Georgie. She's the creative influence on their side."

Tonnie pat her angered friend on the back. "Don't worry, Ming, we still have the trailer."

"That's right!" Ming Ue exclaimed jumping up. "We have the trailer!"

SMBH raised her hand. "Yes?" Ming Ue asked.

"I just had the most uber awesome idea ever!"

"Is it about Zhaoburns?"

"Tee-Hee, no silly," she giggled. "Listen, since we broke away from Mod control, even if they declare ENDGAME we are no longer under their control so we can do what we want!"

O.O……

"SMBH did I ever tell you that I love you?" Ming Ue asked grabbing the girl's hands adoringly. "I will do everything in my power to make sure Zhaoburns is canonized." Letting go of SMBH's hand she stood up tall. "FANONS! This is our mission. We must destroy all the Canon Ships we can. Each of you will take your opposite ship that is on the Canon side, hunt them and destroy them!"

The Fanons erupted in cheer!

"Down with Canon! Down with Canon! Down with Canon!"

0o0o0o0

"What do you mean you won't announce ENDGAME!" Rawles yelled out. "There is no way in (Azula) that Zutara or any of those other ships are gonna happen!"

Bosco folded his paws over each other and sighed. "We can not announce an early ENDGAME. The show isn't over and anything can happen. Mike and Bryan have fooled us before."

"Lord Mike and Lord Bryan never developed a couple for three seasons and then randomly dump it for a (Appa) ship!" Avani yelled. "How can you say that anything can happen?"

"The trailer…"

Georgie piped into the conversation slamming her fist on Bosco's desk. "That trailer was nothing more than fan-service for a bunch of giggly little girls. Anyone with a half a brain knows Zutara will not happen and don't even try to use that trailer as a way to say "anything can happen"!"

"The more time we waste with you _Animals _is more time Zutaraians can use to come after us. They are no longer ruled by Mod rules they can do anything!" Rawles told them the urgency clear in her voice.

Miyuki made a loud sound and called the attention over to her. "Exactly, they are no longer under our rules so even if we declare ENDGAME whose to say it will stop them from attacking you."

"You could stop them."

"Not our responsibility. You three are the leaders of the Canon Side. If you want Zutara, Taang and Yukka out, beat them yourselves."

"It's not that simple!"

"Not. Our. Problem."

Rawles growled and kicked the cat's desk before storming out of the room. Avani and Georgie followed her.

"So now what?" Avani asked. "We can't even get them to announce ENDGAME on them."

"You heard the cat. It might not even make a difference," Georgie said. "Miyuki has a point we have to defeat them ourselves."

Rawles stopped and turned to look at Georgie. "How can we do that? We've been trying for years."

"The best way to defeat your enemy is by destroying their hope. They still have hope, which is their problem."

"So what do we do?"

Georgie pulled out a copy of the Sozien's Comet Book. "We give them a reality check."

**To all that read it…we know what that reality check is. Chapter 17 will be up tomorrow. P.S I need someone to be Meaang (Meng/Aang) captain first one person to accept is captain. Second is Vice-Captain. **


	17. Chapter 17: WMDs!

Shipping Wars

**Shipping Wars! What are they good for? Pain and Destruction. **

Georgie was wrapping up a copy of _The Sozien's Comet _book when Rawles and Avani walked in.

"Bad news Georgie the Mods said we can't use the Book. The spoilers are not to be revealed to anyone," Rawles told her as she sat down.

"Yeah, even though all the canon ships know about it," Avani continued.

Georgie smiled. "Don't worry ladies I wasn't using the real book. It's a fake one with a totally different ending."

"Why?"

"Simple, I plan on getting their silly hopes until the finale comes on. Then, once they realize that they have been trick, we blow them up," Georgie explained.

Rawles raised her eyebrows, impressed. "That's a (Chit Sang) good idea."

"I have one goal ladies," the Sukka captain said, "the complete and utter destruction of Tokka. Which I and my new Private, NCallahan, are ready to do as soon as possible."

"Well," Avani piped in, "while you work on that we will make sure that our allies don't get bombed out of the water."

"Did something happen?" asked Rawles.

"The Onjaang ship got hit this morning by Taang."

"Is lightningbender53 alright?"

"Yeah they made it out with half their ship blown off, but the point is these guys are getting serious. If they blow us up before ENDGAME it won't matter. They'll be the winners by default."

Georgie handed the box to Kyoshi Fan. "Well we are just gonna have to start going after them. Jinko and Soko will go after Toko and Ty Luko. Kacest will go after Zucest and Slash Ship against Crack Ship."

0o0o0o0

_Somewhere in the Sea of Chi_

Xgamerkf, captain of the Slash-ships, was sailing blasting the new theme song of the slash ships: "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry, when a message came through.

"Xgamerkf come in! It's Avani."

He switched on the screen for Kataang. "What do you want Ava?"

"Don't call me that (Momo) hole! Now you have orders to go attack the Crack Ship right now."

The Slash Ship captain snorted loudly. "Are you mad woman? The last group of people who tried to attack SMBH ended up in Maladin's basement after the battle!"

"So? Just make sure you win! I mean its only crack ships. Don't you have like a (Appa) load of Katoph and TyZula shippers onboard?"

Xgamerkf groaned. "SMBH has crazy powers man. I'm not gonna risk it unless you Canon people are gonna give me a good reason."

Avani was about to answer when Georgie pushed her out of the way with an evil glint in her eye. "If you don't blow them up, I will blow you up!"

Gulping he nodded and switched off the monitor. "Man and I thought Rawles was scary."

0o0o0o0

Knock. Knock. Knock

Ouroboros opened the door and saw two women in Men-In-Black-ish suits. He raised an eyebrow and looked at them.

"How may I help you?" he asked.

"I'm Agent EndlessFlame55 and this is Agent Hotspur from the weapons control," Agent Loopy stated. "We are here to speak to Captain SMBH."

"I'll get her for you, one second."

Ouroboros left and after a few moments SMBH came in a bright yellow sundress and her foil hat placed firmly on her head.

"Helloooo," she said happily. "How may I help you?"

Agent Hotspur spoke up. "We have heard from valuable sources that you are creating very powerful WMDs (Weapons of Mass Disruption). We need to search you boat."

SMBH smiled her big smile as she waved her hand in the faces of the two agents. "There are no WMDs here."

The Agents' faces went blank as they followed the hand motions. "There are no WMDs here."

"Everything is fine."

"Everything is fine."

"You would like to donate money to the Build a Zhaoburns Ship Foundation."

"We would like to donate money to the Build a Zhaoburns Ship Foundation." They both took out twenty dollars from their pockets and handed it to SMBH.

"You will leave now. Have a good day."

"We will be leaving now. Have a good day."

The two Agents left quietly closing the door behind them with a thud. SMBH sighed and handed the money over to Ouroboros.

"I wonder who told them about the WMDs captain?"

"I don't know but who ever did is going in Maladin's basement."

Suddenly something slammed into the ship knocking both of them over. SMBH giggled and steadied her way to her feet. "Jinkes."

"Captain!" yelled PlanetUnicorn. "We have just been attacked by the Slash-Ship!"

"Really?" SMBH asked as she lowered the periscope. Looking through it she saw the Slash-Ship launching another cannon blast at the Crack-Ship. "Oh my."

"What do you want us to do Captain?" PlanetUnicorn asked.

"Release the WMDs, of course."

"But…won't that bring those Agents back?" Ouroboros asked in confusion.

SMBH slid the periscope back up with a smile. "Trust me once they see the WMDs they won't be coming back anytime soon, tee-hee."

0o0o0o0

Xgamerkf watched as another missile was being aimed at the Crack-Ship when he saw the hull of the ship open up and an F-22 Raptor aircraft was launched in their direction. How did they get that kind of a stealth aircraft inside of their ship? The Raptor was launched and Xgamerkf called down to the people aiming the missiles.

"Aim for the aircraft!"

"Aye, Aye!" they yelled. The missiles aimed for the ship and fired in a series of loud explosions. The ship turned on its wing dodging the missiles.

Xgamerkf growled and slammed his fist on the table. "She's got a pilot too?"

The aircraft spun in the air as it made its way to the ship making a perfect landing as it settled on the deck of the ship. Xgamerkf sat up in the seat and saw as the machine suddenly opened up and grew legs, arms, a head, and an entire freakin' body.

"What the (Mai)?"

0o0o0o0

"Between me and you guys Katara ain't even that cool. I'm only shipping Kataang for Aang, if Aang loved Toph I'd probably ship Taang," Avani confessed as she sipped her coffee.

Rawles nodded. "Makes total sense I mean I don't give a (Katara) about Zuko. I'm in Maiko for Mai I want her to be happy. 'Cause personally I think she would do better with Sokka."

"No way," Georgie said laughing.

"I'm so serious he is just as much as a dork as Zuko, but with so much more good qualities."

"CAPTAIN AVANI!" yelled Agent Mindbender.

Avani sat up and looked at the girls. "We never had this conversation," she whispered. "Come in Agent Mindbender."

Agent Mindbender came in and gave a salute. "I have just received this footage from the Slash-Ship that I think you should all watch."

"Well then put it in."

Nodding Agent Mindbender brushed off the ancient VHS player and slid the tape inside. Pressing play the image began to start. An F-22 Raptor aircraft landed onto the deck of the Slash-Ship and quickly transformed into a giant robot. The shippers were half in awe and half in fright as the robot began firing into the ship. A missile from its armed aimed at the screen and fired before going black.

Reaction from the Canons: O.O…Dude…WTF?

Avani looked at the screen in shock. "What the (Suki)? These (Yue) holes have Transformers now!?"

Agent Mindbender cleared his throat. "I believe that was the Decepticon, Starscream Captain."

"Decepticons are the bad ones?" Georgie asked.

"Yes, Captain Georgie."

"Bryke (Sokka) it!" Avani yelled. "First the Harry Potter Fanon ships come now the Decepticons. Why don't we have any weird crossovers?"

Rawles shrugged and got out of her chair. "Does it even really matter? I mean we're the Canon Ships. We are gonna win this no matter what. All we are doing is biding out time."

"Rawles is right," Georgie said. "Let's not worry about this."

"Yeah I'm gonna head back to Maiko now. I feel like listening to _Sick Fish_," Rawles told them. "Later."

"I'll be going to. I have to send out the hit list to the other canon ships."

Avani waved them off as both Canon Captains left the room. Turning to Agent Mindbender she snorted. "(Toph) that waiting (Zuko), I'm calling Optimus Prime."

0o0o0o0

Ming Ue, Tonnie, Rowen and Robot Mule a.k.a were sitting in the living room looking at pictures on Tonnie's computer. They were seeing which Avatar adults were smexy and which weren't.

"Hakoda?"

"Hot!"

"Ozai?"

"Hot!"

"Pakku?"

Ming Ue: Hot!

Tonnie: Ewww not!

Rowen: Agreed, old much.

RoRo: Not old just experienced.

"Guys!"

They looked back and saw SMBH running up to them. "I have big news!"

"Did Zhaoburns get canonized?" RoRo asked.

"Not yet but we are working on it!" SMBH said with a nod. "Anyway today two agents came by my ship today looking for WMDs."

"(Momo)! How did they find out?"

"I don't know there must be a traitor in our mists. We have to hunt him out and kill him. It's the right thing to do."

"I'll bet you it was the (Kyoshi) Tokka's," Rowen grumbled.

"Anyway," SMBH continued. "After I got rid of them I got attacked by the Slash-Ship!"

RoRo raised an eyebrow. "Why did they attack you?"

"Probably because Tonnie blew up Onjaang."

"Pfft, whose gonna miss them?" Tonnie asked.

"Then I used my WMDs to blow them up!"

Tonnie raised an eyebrow. "You got rid of a ship using WMDs?"

SMBH giggled. "Oh silly my WMDs aren't like yours! Mine actually mean Weapons of Mass Destruction!"

Rowen and Ming shared a look. "What kind of WMDs?"

"Well remember when we went into the Harry Potter world to get help from the Fanon Ships in Harry Potter? Well I went to the Transformers world and spoke to Megatron, very nice man. We made an agreement that I would tell him everything that would happen in the world of Transforms so he could beat the Autobots if he let me borrow the Decepticons!"

RoRo blinked. "You mean you put countless lives at risk in the Transformers world just so we could win this war?"

"Yep!"

"You're (Hakoda) awesome!" Ming Ue yelled hugging SMBH. "We have the Mother (Ursa) Decepticons! That is just too good! ChibiChibiBear!"

Agent ChibiChibiBender ran to her captain's side in an instant. "Yes Ma'am!"

"I would like it to be known throughout the Avatar Fanworld that today June 29, 2008 will be known officially as SMBH RoX SoXs Day!" Ming Ue yelled as she wrapped her arm around SMBH's shoulders. "I love you so much right now. Would you like a new Tin Foil Hat?"

**Coming In Next Chapters:**

**Chapter 18: Soko/Jinko v Toko/Zue**

**Chapter 19: Kacest v Zucest**

**Chapter 20: Shipping Draft**

**Chapter 21: Ty Luko v Ty Lokka **

**Chapter 22: Sozien's Comet**

**Chapter 23: Avatar is Ending in One WHAT?!**


End file.
