Loveless Fragile

**I' don't own Loveless. I wrote this fic myself but as always my loyal friend Khalko corrected the mistakes. **

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Soubi woke up because of his sacrifice. It wasn't the first time when this happened and it wouldn't be the last. He didn't wake up sweating or in panic, he always sensed the pure feeling of calmness. Like he was exactly where he belonged. Ritsuka's light touch caressed his face. Sometimes Soubi saw Ritsuka doing that also to his pictures and Soubi knew that it was a secret that Ritsuka was frightened to confess. His gorgeus, strong sacrifice, light of Soubi's life was memorizing his face. Soubi was finally, after all these years, Ritsuka's possession and the boy was deadly afraid that the situation would change. Change back to how it had been too many years.

God, how much he loved Ritsuka. Before his sacrifice had been an honest, delightful little child. Such a lovely creature. These days he was Soubi's entire life. The light that made his dark past just that, past. The reason for his existence. Even here, in the middle of sleep and awake, he only had adoring words for his Ritsuka. When his sacrifice's careful fingertip touched his lower lip, he couldn't stop himself from nibbling the hand. Only because now he had all the rights to do that.

Hastily Ritsuka pulled his hand from the touch. Soubi opened his eyes and still couldn't see Ritsuka's profile clearly. It was dark and Soubi didn't have his glasses. What a shame. On situations like this, Ritsuka usually looked so guilty. His huge and frightened eyes made him resemble like a small kid. Sometimes even to these days, when Ritsuka was 27-years old, Soubi felt like a childmolester. And when he said that to Ritsuka, the boy always laughed. He touched the name on his hip and assured that Soubi was intented to be with him. Soubi couln't see the name 'Loveless' because of Ritsuka's shirt but it didn't matter. His hip owned that identic mark, and the bond between them was stronger than an iron bar. They were meant to be.

"You should sleep, Ritsuka. You have work tomorrow." Ritsuka sighed and put his head down on the pillow without even a word. Oh dear, Soubi had upset his little kitten.

"I love you so much, Ritsuka." For a moment their bedroom was a home of silence. The only disturbance was their calm breathing.

"I know, Soubi. Sweet dreams." Dreams of the man beside him, if Soubi was the one to decide.

Ritsuka didn't say those three important words back to Soubi. Not because he didn't feel like that. It was just something that Ritsuka had promised to Soubi ages ago. Those words were the last thing Soubi wanted to hear before the sleep took over. Not their breathing or ticking of clock. All he wanted to hear was his Ritsuka saying the most important sentences in the whole world for him, only for him. And Ritsuka knew him so well. Just before he was starting to lose the fight against the drowsiness he felt soft lips voicing right to his ear:

"I love you so much, Soubi. Never leave me again. I love you." If Soubi had been awake enough to answer, he would have assured that never again Ritsuka would be lonely. But Soubi wasn't. The sleep took him to dreamless, calm unconsciousness.

* * *

Ritsuka was a photographer and worked as a freelancer. That meant that his work hours were when people needed him, not when he wanted. So his alarm rang at 05:10 a.m. and it hurt, bad. Quietly, he tried to sneak away from Soubi's grip without waking the man. Since he had been 20, he had slept every single night in the same bed as Soubi. Not even once had he succeeded on escaping without waking the other. And Soubi would tease him sleepily. Try to keep him under warm blankets and assure that ten minutes wasn't so long time to be late. Maybe without the morning breath his fighter could even win sometimes. Not today.

Of course their life wasn't perfect, far from it. They both had the mind settings of an artist. Soubi as a painter and him as a photographer actually meant them a poor financial situation. But they managed. They would manage better if Soubi painted more pictures that they could actually sell, a lot less pictures of Ritsuka. On the other hand, could Ritsuka blame Soubi? He had taken more than enough pictures of the other man. Also, ordinary people's problems weren't their only thing to worry about. They were also a fighter and a sacrifice . The evenings with scars and pain were difficult for the both of them. But the last seven years had made them a good pair. The biggest problem between them were the seven years before, when Soubi wasn't Ritsuka's.

Sometimes Seimei's shadow was almost too much to bare. As soon as Ritsuka's brother had ordered Soubi to leave him everything had changed. Some trust between them had shattered and even all this time...there were just some things even time can't fix. Soubi had submitted to Seimei and turned his back to Ritsuka. If Seimei had wanted Soubi to kill Ritsuka, nobody knew who would be alive today. Only one thing was sure, it wasn't all three of them.

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Seven years Soubi obeyed, served and hated Seimei. But he was the right Beloved, not Nisei. He tried to see Seimei like the boy was again his god. But after Ritsuka, he wasn't. After Ritsuka, everything had been slightly wrong with his life. When they fought , all Soubi wanted was a shy kiss to be stronger. He couldn't get it from Seimei. He only got a disgusted expression for showing weakness.

Every year their bond was a little weaker. Every year Soubi thought a little more of Ritsuka. He stole little moments to fantasize about a different world where he didn't belong to Seimei. Where that man was only his sacrifice's pathetic brother. It was such a magnificent world.

That one morning nothing had been out of the ordinary. His sacrifice had called him. He had felt the need to answer. Seimei called him many times a day and he always answered. But this calling had been slightly different. When he had walked to the living room and studied at the abhorred man before him, he had understood that he didn't feel anything like before. Before he had hoped for a better future. He had adored even the small good things about the man. Now nothing, just pure disgust. This was not the man whose calling he would answer ever again. This was not the man whose calling he was hearing.

"You should be thankful. You may have been damaged when I got you but you were not Loveless. I made you one." Those had been the last words Seimei ever said to Soubi. After all these years of pain and suffering he didn't belong to that man. He walked away without looking back.

His sacrifice was calling for him. He felt the sting in his hip. Soubi knew what that meant. There, he finally had the name, a real name. Not scarred to his skin and neither a lie. His perfect name. But he was too scared to look at it. What if everyone was wrong? Seimei said that he had made him to be a Loveless. Maybe he had made him to be a Worthless. Maybe it wasn't Ritsuka who was waiting for him. Maybe world had made Ritsuka to be something else than Loveless.

He drove in the Seven Voices academy without even understanding it. He was just following the calling. He couldn't hear people's talk nor see other sacrifices. He only saw one, the one who called for him. When he was in front of the boy he fell to his knees. He was just so relieved that he didn't have the strength to even stand. And the beautiful angel took his face on his hands and kneeled also in front of him. The look on his sacrifice's face was the most gorgeous . Like he was watching something beautiful when he saw Soubi.

"You left me, Soubi." There were no excuses.

"I left you, Ritsuka." How good those fingers felt on his face. Heaven.

"But you came back for me. After seven years." After seven agonized years.

"You called for me. I promised I would always answer your calls." And Ritsuka laughed. And he burst into tears.

* * *

Ritsuka knew why Seimei had taken Soubi away. On his last lonely day Ritsu told him. Maybe he wanted that Ritsuka didn't bear malice for Seimei nor Soubi. Still, forgiveness was a hard thing to do.

After his brother had faked his murder, Ritsuka was damaged but never Loveless. Only after giving up on Soubi he had truly felt like one. One without love, completely alone. Those years he didn't understand how there somewhere could be a person, as lonely as him. All that time it had been Soubi. Seven years ago they had been scared, confused and miserable . The day when they had separated, they both started to comprehend what it meant to be Loveless and simultaneously what it meant to be Loved. Not Beloved, that was a bad word for them, but loved.

But still, what made you stronger also made you more vulnerable. It was hard to understand that peace could keep going forever. Even after seven years of calmness they were still fearful. Maybe they would forget what meant to be Loveless. Maybe someone would decide that they should separate again. But this time they were stronger. They would fight better. And the most of the time the only threat was inside their head. So they just kept reassuring to each others.

_You are mine now, my fighter, Soubi._

_I won't leave you again, Ritsuka. Never again._

And they both kept hoping that they weren't lying to each others.

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**AN/ Wow, it feels like I have got a trophy in PS3 game. Write a Loveless fic without using a word butterfly...or did I just use it? NO, what a cruel world! But I really hope that you enjoyed this ^^**


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Loveless, Hurt-Comfort, Romance