Degrassi 1. How Can You Stand By Watching Me Cry & D

**Welcome to my new story!**

**First this is dedicated to xaviorismy1andonly3512 for requesting it and giving me a few plots. Having Clare get pregnant was the most requested thing for Friends with Benefits, aside from maybe having Clare or Drew cheat. xaviorismy1andonly3512 asked for a Clew pregnancy story when I said Clare would not get pregnant in Friends with Benefits. xaviorismy1andonly3512 also gave me a few plots including how Drew should react.**

**Legal: I own nothing but the idea. **

**Important things to know for this reality before reading:**

***Drew never got back together with Bianca but they are friends and she became friends with Clare and Adam as well **

***Clare dated Eli but they are friends again **

***They did not go to Jake's cabin at the end of the summer**

***Alli did kiss Jake and they dated for a while but when her parents caught her smoking pot they sent her to boarding school. When Alli was sent away Jenna moved to Alberta to live with her brother**

***Fic starts about a week after the Ice Hounds have come and winter break ended**

***Also remember that this is Canada so the temperatures are in Celsius**

**Ch. 1** **How Can You Stand By Watching Me Cry & Do Nothing at All **

**(CLARE)**

I leaned against the washroom sink just staring at the piece of plastic in my hand. One tiny little pink symbol and my whole life had changed. Everything from this very second would be different because I was pregnant! Drew and I had always used condoms but of course nothing was 100% and the tiny pink plus sign on the pregnancy test in my hand was confirming that I was pregnant! I felt ill and woozy, my heart was pounding and I felt like I could hardly breathe. My head was swimming with everything that the next few months would entail, everything I had to do.

I suppose the first thing I need to do is tell Drew, we've been dating for six months. We'd gotten close after Adam was shot, Jake had broken up with me, Katie had broken up with Drew after thinking he was cheating with Bianca. He wasn't and he and Bianca were nothing but friends, she and I were also friends now. After Jake walked out on me and Adam was shot I had spent a lot of time at the Torres house this last summer. I also wanted to be out of my house and away from the wedding talk.

Drew and I had become friends and grown close while helping Adam and spending time with him. He got permission from Adam before asking me out and our first date had been watching fireworks on Canada Day. Things had moved fairly fast compared to my previous relationships but we didn't have sex until October, after Eli's Halloween party to be exact. I wore my ring around my mom still but all our friends knew we were having sex. I was in love with Drew and I knew he was in love with me but I didn't know how he'd take this. Only one way to find out though, I toss the pregnancy into the trash and go into my room grabbing my cell from the desk and calling Drew.

"Hey Gorgeous," he answers.

"Hi I need to get out can you come get me?" I request.

"Sure, Adam's out with Dallas," Drew tells me.

"That's okay I really just want to talk to you, can we go walking through the park?" I request.

"Of course, be there in five," Drew says and hangs up.

I put my phone down and grab my jacket since the bitter January weather includes a frosty wind today. Jake and Glen went to a home and garden show to see fancy new stuff for Glen's contracting business. Mom was at a church fundraiser so there was no one home for me to tell that I'm leaving. When I see Drew's car I go out, lock the door behind me and run down to his car, he gets out and opens my door for me, like he always does.

"Hi," he grins giving me a sweet kiss hello, "it's really cold are you sure you want to go to the park?" He asks.

"Yeah the park will be nice," I nod wanting to be somewhere public but not too public.

I get in the car and he closes the door, he gets in drives down the street to the park and parks the car. He puts an arm around me and we walk through the park a bit before I sit on a bench and Drew sits with me.

"I've been feeling sick lately," I tell him and he talks before I can go on.

"You have? You look fine to me, are you okay?" He questions.

"I'm not sick Drew I'm pregnant," I blurt out because if I don't say it fast it'll never come out.

He stiffens up and goes completely silent, not even breathing. His arm tightens around me and then drops off into his lap. He looks down at his hands folded in on each other and I think he's just going to react with regret. Then he suddenly stiffens up, his hands curl into fists and he moves away from me.

"How can you be pregnant?! We're safe, we've never had unprotected sex! It can't be mine!" He accuses in a bitterly outraged tone.

"Drew I didn't cheat on you, I would never cheat on you. You are the only guy I've ever had sex with. No form of birth control is a hundred percent effective, this baby is yours Drew," I tell him with a pleading edge to my voice, salt water building in my eyes.

I reach over to take his hand but he yanks it away from me and jumps up like my touch is poison to him. I gasp at his reaction, flinching back a little myself at the stab of hurt I feel. The tears break free and roll down my cheeks as I curl into myself a bit.

"I'll deny it if you tell anyone and even if it is my baby it's not my problem. I'm not going to be a teenage dad. You take care of it, do what you want but I don't want anything to do with either of you ever again!" Drew says in a quiet voice but with a growling tone and his words are oozing with venom.

His tone, his words, the way he's looking at me, like I'm disgusting and dirty, it all hurts and I emit a painful whimper, as if he'd physically struck me. I'm crying harder, sobbing to the point that my body is shaking but sobbing silently. Never in our relationship, in all the time I've known him has Drew stood by and watched me cry. Not only does he not do anything he turns and takes off for the car again, walking fast at first and then running like he can't get away from me fast enough. I hear his car door slam and he peels out of the parking lot and now I'm alone.

I'm sixteen, I'm alone, I'm pregnant and I'm scared to death!

For a while I just sit on the bench crying. No one pays any attention to me, which is fine because I wish I were invisible right now. Eventually I get up and start walking in the general direction of home because it's getting really cold. I have no idea what I'm going to do, it's not as though I expected Drew to jump for joy that I was pregnant but I didn't expect him to do that. To get so angry that he breaks up with me and tells me to deal with it, that he never wants to see me again. I keep telling myself that he was shocked beyond rational thought. That he made a snap reaction and he'll come around…at least I hope.

I won't abort, I simply couldn't but raising a baby on my own while still in high school will be a monumental task. I'm pretty positive I can't count on my mom for support and I fully intend to hide the pregnancy from her for as long as possible, like until I go into labor. Jake and Glen…well I don't know really, Glen will probably go along with my mom and Jake is usually on my side but this is a doozy. I'm sure that Adam and his parents would support me but I don't want to tell them, they'll get angry at Drew, get him in trouble and I still love him, I can't do that to him. Plus Audra and Omar might force Drew to marry me or something and I don't want that either, he'll only resent me and the baby if that happens and that would kill me. No if Drew is going to come around he has to do it on his own. And if he doesn't…then I'll figure it out on my own…somehow.

My father moved to France four months ago and I've gotten all of three e-mails from him in that time. He seems to be slowly vanishing from my life so I'm not going to count on him. Darcy is still in Africa, she didn't even make it home for Mom's wedding and we only hear from her every few months. She travels Africa now working with various missions. I really can't tell any of my friends, I have barely spoken to Alli since she got sent to boarding school at the beginning of the year. Jenna e-mails once a week and she has been through this but I don't know that I could tell her this, we aren't that close. Dave, Connor and K.C. are my friends but I'm not about to confide this to them nor do I think they would be very helpful. Owen and Bianca are my friends too, but I can't tell them either, I don't want them to get Drew in trouble and I don't think they can help. I've only known Dallas for about ten days, I met him when he moved in but I can't call him a friend yet.

So I'll hide the fact that I'm pregnant for as long as I can. It can't be that hard, I just need to buy some bigger shirts, maybe some dresses and one of those thick down vests. I can't possibly get through this totally alone though, I need advice and support and I still don't know what to do about the baby. Then it hits me Mia! She was pregnant and she did it without Lucas helping. She was even younger than me, she can help. I start walking faster, rushing home to e-mail her and beg for advice. I say a quick hi to Mom when I get home and run up to my room opening my laptop.

**Dear Mia,**

**I don't know if you remember me but I babysat for Izzy a couple of times. I'm Darcy's younger sister and Spinner thought of me as a younger sister. Anyway I'm writing because I need help or advice and I don't really have anyone else to go to. **

**I just found out I'm pregnant and when I told my boyfriend he broke up with me. He told me it was my problem and I needed to deal with it. I can't tell my mom or anyone else here and I don't know what to do. I can't abort but I don't know that I'm ready for a baby especially raising one on my own.**

**I'm scared and confused and a million other things and I know you've been through this so I was hoping you could help.**

I put my phone number in at the end and click send; my tears have pretty much dried at this point. Still I'm overwhelmed by emotion and it's not helping the nauseous feeling I've had all day. I'm trying to collect myself to be functional by dinner but Mom's yelling grinds at my nerves.

"CLARE DIANA EDWARDS GET IN HERE!" She yells and it sounds like it's coming from my washroom.

I get up and walk across the hall wondering what she's yelling about. "Mom wha…" I start to ask when I see my pregnancy test in her hand. I had been so shocked I was pregnant, and so worried about telling Drew I wasn't thinking about having the pregnancy test found.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! ARE YOU PREGNANT?! WHEN DID YOU AND THAT BOY HAVE SEX?! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE PREGNANT CLARE! AND HOW CAN YOU STILL BE WEARING THIS?!" Mom screams hysterically as she grabs my hand, yanks the purity ring from my finger and tosses it in the sink. "HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID CLARE?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHAT WILL THEY SAY AT CHURCH? WHAT WILL YOUR FATHER SAY?"

"Mom I'm sorry b…" I'm barely able to speak before she goes ballistic again.

"YOU'RE SORRY! YOU'RE A PATHETIC STUPID SLUT JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER ANYMORE!"

"Mom…" I try, I'm crying again, bawling like a baby, trembling and feeling like I've had my heart ripped out twice in one afternoon.

"I SAID OUT!" Mom screams smacking me across the face with the pregnancy test. "YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK TO THIS HOUSE! YOU ARE A BITTER DISSAPOINTING EMBARRASMENT! YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER! MY DAUGHTER WOULD NOT DO SOMETHING SO STUPID!"

I cover my cheek with my hand and run out of the house. I don't grab a single thing, not a jacket, not my purse or my phone I just run. Down the street, toward the school, I reach the bus stop just beyond the school property line and I sink down on the bench, leaning against the plastic barrier, curling my knees up and sobbing into my arms. Overwhelmed by so many emotions and feeling betrayed by everyone and entirely alone. My boyfriend broke up with me, my mother disowned me and I'm alone. I'm too upset to think, all I can do is sob, I don't know how long I sit there but I don't move until there's a hand on my shoulder.

"Clare?" His voice is gentle, calm but slightly inquisitive and sounds vaguely familiar.

I look up wiping away the tears at my eyes so I can see. "Lucas?" I look up into his dark brown eyes and he gives me a grin.

"Mia called when she couldn't get a hold of you. So pregnant huh?" He asks and I nod. "What are you doing out here with no jacket or anything?" Lucas questions.

"I got in a fight with my mom and ran out," I tell him. He holds my chin gently between his finger and thumb, tipping my chin up and looking at my face closely. Letting go of my chin he strokes his thumb over the spot on my cheek that's stinging. "Mom hit me with the pregnancy test," I tell him.

"Come on I'll take you to my place," Lucas says pulling my arm gently to help me up.

"Don't you mean your mom's place?" I ask standing up and taking a couple deep breaths.

"Hey it's cheaper that way and I'm going to the Ontario Provincial Police academy," Lucas informs me.

I smile at him and he helps me to his car because I'm so upset I can hardly walk. We drive to his house and by this time I'm at least calm enough to walk.

"Hey Mom," Lucas calls into the house when we go in and she comes out of the kitchen, "you remember Clare don't you?"

"Yes of course you would babysit for Izzy and Spinner was fond of you. It's nice to see you dear but you look very upset," Evelyn remarks giving me a gentle hug.

"She found out she was pregnant, her boyfriend broke up with her and her mom kicked her out," Lucas says for me.

"You've had quite a day then, no wonder you're upset dear. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need to, you can have Jane's room," Evelyn tells me with a kind smile.

"Thank you, that's very kind I promise not to be in the way," I say hugging her gratefully.

"Nonsense dear you're not in the way, you're more than welcome here. I was just finishing dinner are you hungry?" Evelyn asks.

"Actually it's been a very long hard day, I'm very tired and my head hurts I'd like to just lie down if you don't mind," I reply.

"Of course Clare, Lucas get her set up in Jane's room and you get some sleep you're safe here," Evelyn smiles hugging me again.

Lucas takes me upstairs and opens the door of Jane's room. "She left some clothes, help yourself to anything and let us know if you need anything. I'll call Mia and let her know you're okay and safe," Lucas tells me.

"Okay, I don't want anyone to know I'm pregnant just yet, I still don't know what I'm going to do," I tell him.

"No problem I won't say anything not even to Jane, I'll make sure Mom won't either," Lucas assures me.

"And Lucas thanks, for taking me in and everything," I say mustering as much of a smile as I can.

"I always liked you, anyway I really screwed up with Mia and Izzy I can kind of make amends now. Get some sleep, you've had a long day," Lucas says tousling my hair and then he leaves the room.

I don't even look through Jane's closet for clothes I just take off my shoes and lie down on the bed, crying myself to sleep.

**(DREW)**

I drive home as fast as I can without getting pulled over for speeding. One thought goes through my mind over and over, _"Clare can't be pregnant, I can't be a dad." _I'm angry, despite how I yelled at her I'm not angry at Clare, but that she got pregnant even though we were careful. I'm angry at the situation, the world, the fact that it's so fucking easy for girls to get pregnant. That sex feels so good and is so fun and that's how girls get pregnant. I'm even angry at myself; I'm just entirely outraged at everything. I get home and slam the front door, stomping up to my room and slamming the door before falling on to my bed.

"Drew?" Adam calls knocking on my bedroom door. I don't answer but Adam comes in anyway. "What's wrong with you?"

"I broke up with Clare," I grumble.

"Why? I thought you two were really happy?" My brother asks.

"I just did okay Adam, just drop it! I'm not going to make you choose sides you can still be friends with her," I tell him.

"Uh thanks, but you've never dictated my friends before and you don't get to start now, of course I'm still friends with Clare. So why'd you break up with her?" Adam asks again, my brothers damned persistent.

"Just drop it Adam, we broke up okay? Now please get out of my room!" I bark at my brother.

He flinches a little and gets up; he gives me a worried look and leaves my room closing the door. I pick up my football and start tossing it in the air, thinking about the championship game last semester when I scored the game winning touchdown and won the game. Mom and Dad had been so proud of me; Adam had given me that look he gets when he's truly proud of me and looking up to me as a role model and big brother. Clare had cheered louder than anyone and boy had we celebrated after the game.

If Mom and Dad ever find out that Clare's pregnant they won't be proud, mostly angry and disappointed, they might even send me to military academy, it's been threatened before. Adam will probably never look up to me again. Of course if he finds out why I dumped Clare he'll kill me and Clare may never look at me again at all. I get angrier than I was and growl throwing the football at my wall, then turn on my music trying to drown out everything.

Part of me wants to call Clare and apologize, tell her it'll be okay and we'll figure it out. The angry part of me is taking this part and slaughtering it. I rationalize it all, telling myself it's better if she hates me, Clare is smart she'll figure out, she'll take care of it or something. I rationalize it all to myself, Clare is better off without me, I would be a terrible father, I can hardly take care of myself I can't take care of a kid and Clare too. I even convince myself that she's lying, that she isn't pregnant or if she is it isn't mine. This doesn't actually make me feel better just angrier.

"Drew dinner's ready," Mom says coming into my room and turning down my music.

"I'm not hungry," I grumble.

"Adam told me you broke up with Clare; you want to talk about it?" Mom asks.

"I just want everyone to leave me alone," I reply.

"I'll keep a plate for you in the fridge," Mom says giving me a worried look and leaving my room.

No one bothers me for the rest of the night but I don't really sleep either. I'm too pissed off at absolutely everything. I spend most of the night flipping through my phone and looking at pictures of me and Clare before I toss the phone at the wall. This wakes up my brother and I hear him lingering outside my door but he doesn't come in. I eat breakfast with everyone and they all assume I'm pissed off because I broke up with Clare, which I am they just don't know why, but no one bugs me. Adam drives the three of us to school and I sit in the back. I'm even more pissed when I get to school because I know I'm going to have to see Clare.

"Dude what's with you?" Owen asks; he's on the steps with Bianca.

"He broke up with Clare," Adam tells them walking past us and into the school.

"Dude why? You were all in love with her I thought," Owen comments.

"Yeah Drew you were dating the hottest, smartest, prettiest girl at this school, besides me of course," Bianca remarks.

"Clare is nicer and more humble than you," Owen chides.

"Yeah duh, so why'd you two break up?" Bianca questions.

"We just did okay will everyone drop it?" I bark at my friends.

"It looks like she moved on pretty quick," Dallas comments and I look at him.

Dallas nods to Clare pulling up in a truck with a boy, but the truck isn't Jake's or Glen's and the boy isn't Jake. I've never seen this boy before but I already hate him. He's older than Clare by a few years, he's got a real tough look to him too, like Fitz and I know what Fitz did to her. The guy, who has dark hair and narrow eyes, nods in our direction. Clare looks over and looks away fast, she says something to the guy, he brushes some hair behind her ear and says something to her, she smiles and my fist clenches. She puts her arm around him in a hug and kisses him! Then she gets out of the car and runs past me into the school. I turn and follow her in to find out who this guy is, Bianca, Owen and Dallas follow me in.

"Was that?" Bianca asks.

"Yep," Owen replies.

"And Clare was with him because?" Bianca questions.

"No idea," Owen replies.

I'm so angry and focused on finding Clare it doesn't even occur to me that they know who the guy is.

**(CLARE)**

"You sure you want to walk to our house after school?" Lucas asks as he drives me to school Monday morning.

"If it's too cold, or snowing or something I'll get a ride for someone but otherwise I'll be fine," I insists.

"Okay well you have a key, my number and my mom's. Mia said to call her when you're home, she's not working today," Lucas tells me pulling up to the front of the school. "There's some people watching us from the steps, and…is that Owen and Bianca?" Lucas questions and I glance over at the steps.

"Yeah that's them, the boy glaring at you would be Drew," I tell Lucas and he pushes a curl behind my ear.

"The ex and baby daddy huh? You want me to go kick his ass?" He offers and I smile.

"No if he's going to come around he has to do it without being threatened, anyway I still love him," I tell Lucas turning in the seat to hug him and kissing his cheek, "thanks though. See you after school."

I get out of the car and wave at Lucas as he drives off, then run past Drew, Owen, Bianca and Dallas to get into the school. I head for my locker; Dave is just closing his and smiles at me. I start opening mine when my arm is grabbed and I'm whirled around to face Drew who looks beyond livid, his eyes narrowed and his face bright red, like he's been stewing in his anger since yesterday. He's not alone either Owen, Dallas and Bianca followed him in.

"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT GUY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?!" Drew growls at me attracting some attention from kids in the hall.

"What do you care? You broke up with me remember Drew?" I snap at him pulling my arm out of his grasp.

His jaw tightens, his face somehow gets even redder, I can swear I can actually see his blood boiling!

"His name is Lucas Valerie, he's about 22 now, he dropped out and he was a truly bad ravine kid," Owen enlightens Drew.

"Yeah like way worse than Fitz, all though last I heard he was cleaning up and he was a night time security guard now," Bianca adds.

"He's going to the police academy too," I speak up.

"YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH HIM CLARE HE SOUNDS DANGEROUS! YOU CAN'T BE WITH HIM," Drew yells and now we've gathered a crowd.

"My safety and who I spend time with is no longer your concern Drew," I snap at him.

He dumped me, left me pregnant with his child and now he's getting mad at me? Lucas and I aren't even dating! Drew roars, actually roars like an angry tiger, he turns and explodes a powerful punch on the locker next to mine. It doesn't bend the locker or anything but it makes a loud bang and Drew's hand gets red. Drew's angry outburst frightens me and I jump back a little, ending up between Dallas and Owen, the latter of which gently puts an arm around me. Drew storms off, the crowd parting for him and looking at us.

"I'm going to go make sure he didn't break his hand," Bianca tells us running after Drew.

"You alright Clare?" Dallas asks.

"Yeah I'm okay," I nod a little shaky but go to my locker and get out my books.

Dallas lingers a minute until I've closed my locker and then he takes off when I start walking to class.

"Okay why'd you two break up? Why is Drew so pissed? What were you doing with Lucas and how do you even know him?" Owen asks as he follows me to class.

"Drew and I had a fight, I used to babysit for Izzy plus Jane's ex-boyfriend Spinner is one of my close friends, almost like an older brother and Lucas drove me to school this morning," I reply leaving out some details.

"What was the fight about?" Owen asks as we reach my classroom.

"It doesn't matter and I need to go to class now," I tell him going through the door.

I can feel his eyes on me a minute but he walks away when I sit at my desk next to Adam's.

"So what happened?" Adam questions when Owen is gone and I know he's asking why Drew and I broke up.

"We got in a fight Adam," I reply.

"You've had fights before and never broken up," Adam points out.

"We just want different things, we grew apart," I respond and it's not totally a lie.

"He doesn't seem very happy about it and neither do you, maybe if you two just talk…" Adam urges.

"Adam please we broke up just leave it," I insist.

Adam gives me a look but he doesn't say anything else and I get out my notebook. I write about the fear of being pregnant but I have no intent on turning the assignment in. I'm not exactly itching to announce to people that I'm pregnant. When class lets out Adam gets up with me, coincidentally my next class is parenting, it was a humanities elective and I needed one. Adam has the class with me and so does Owen. Connor's in the class too and Becky and Luke Baker who came with the Ice Hounds since Luke is on the hockey team. Owen and Luke are talking when Adam and I walk into class and then they stop and look at me. I ignore them and sit at my table with Adam, Connor and Becky. Miss Sauve is already writing stuff on the blackboard and Connor is already taking notes.

"Why'd you break up with Drew? I know we've only been here a short time but you two seemed so happy together," Becky comments.

"We had a fight," I reply huffing a little but the bell rings and we all look at the blackboard.

"We're going to watch a short video, then break into teams of two and interview each other using the questions I have outlined on the board," says Miss Sauve.

She gives us a minute to scribble down the questions and then turns off the lights to start the video. The video is a bunch of parents being interviewed, there is even a single teenager mother, great I'm a statistic. All of our questions are things they asked in the video, all but the first one are supposed to be all what-if scenarios but in my case it's not. After the video she chooses partners for us and I get paired with Owen.

"Can we work in the hall Miss Sauve, it's hot in here?" I request when Owen moves his chair close to mine.

"Are you feeling alright Clare? You look a little pale," Miss Sauve comments.

"Yeah just hot," I tell her.

"Sure just be back by the end of class," she tells us.

I nod and walk out to the hallway with Owen, we're about to sit down on the bench near the memorial garden when I feel the little bit of breakfast I ate coming up again. Without a word to Owen I hold a hand to my mouth and take off running for the girl's washroom dropping my notebook to the ground. Owen calls after me but I ignore him and run in vomiting in a toilet. I manage to sink down to the floor before vomiting again and then twice more. I feel a little dizzy and I'm slightly beaded by sweat but I stand and rinse my mouth in the sink before washing my hands.

"You okay?" Owen asks when I leave the washroom and find him standing at the doorway.

"Yeah," I nod.

"You don't look so hot," he tells me.

"Must have had some bad eggs at breakfast, can we get to work now?" I question.

"Okay, let's go into the memorial garden it's cooler in there, even though it's January and about negative seven right now so I think you're crazy for being hot," Owen comments zipping up his Ice Hounds jacket.

We go into the memorial garden and I lean against the glass. Owen hands me my notebook and we begin interviewing each other. Our first question is to rate our parents on a scale of 1 -10 for various categories like discipline, understanding, nurturing and so on. Owen gives his parents nothing lower than a seven; I give my mom nothing higher than a two.

"You get in a fight with your parents or your mom?" Owen questions when we're done rating our parents.

"She kicked me out, told me I was dead to her and disowned me so yeah you could say that," I answer in a bitter tone, I'm still feeling nauseous and it's not helping my mood.

"Did your fight with Drew have something to do with your fight with your mom?" Owen questions.

"You could say that," I grumble and he looks at me.

"You going to tell me what happened or do I need to go beat it out of Drew?" Owen asks.

"Don't beat Drew up but I'm not telling you either," I reply.

"Drew broke up with you and your mom freaks out disowning you and kicking you out in the same day. Something big happened, Drew is exploding with anger and you're tossing your cookies in the wa…hang on," Owen says furrowing his brow a second as he puts the pieces together, "Clare are you pregnant?!"

"Yes, please don't tell anyone okay?" I plead as I begin to cry again.

"And Drew broke up with you?! Owen growls getting up and walking for the door but I grab his hand.

"What are you doing?" I question wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I'm going to drag Drew out of his business leadership class and beat some sense into him," Owen replies.

"Owen don't if I wanted that I would have had Lucas do it this morning or I'd tell Audra. I don't want anyone to know and I don't want Drew to get in trouble. I still love him and besides if he's forced to be with me he'll just grow to resent me. I want Drew to come around and be here for me, I want to be with him again but I'm not going to force him and right now he hates me," I sigh sitting on the bench again.

"He's angry but he doesn't hate you," Owen argues.

"You saw him this morning he hates me," I counter.

"That wasn't hate Clare that was jealousy, he was jealous of Lucas which means he's still in love with you and I've got a plan. A way to help Drew come around and realize he doesn't want to lose you," Owen tells me with a suspiciously evil look on his face.

I cock an eyebrow at him and sit back, not entirely sure that I want to hear this plan.

**Update next Tuesday from right here and someone else finds out Clare is pregnant.**

****If you're angry about how Drew reacted remember there is a plan to everything and let me just say writing Drew so mean sucked!****


	2. Unintentional Emotional Crimes

**Thanks to everyone who read last week and especially to those who reviewed, favorited and/or followed.**

**Ch. 2 Unintentional Emotional Crimes**

**(CLARE)**

"You should be my girlfriend," Owen says.

My eyebrows raise as my heart starts to race, I choke on a response as this is probably the last thing I expected Owen to say.

"I want Drew back, not a rebound," I respond.

"I know, I don't mean real girlfriend, it will all be for show just for Drew. He got super jealous when he saw you with Lucas and he doesn't even know Lucas. Imagine how insane it will drive him to see you and me dating. He'll be insanely jealous for a little while and then he'll realize he was an idiot and beg you to take him back," Owen smirks.

"How long is a while? And we can't just date for Drew; I mean we're going to have to make it look real for the whole school and our families. And what if it doesn't work? What if Drew hates me and doesn't get jealous?" I inquire.

"He'll get jealous, he was jealous of Lucas he'll get jealous. Of course we'll have to make it look like we're dating to everyone and not just Drew. That should be easy enough, I pick you up from class, walk through the halls with my arm around you, maybe holding hands. A few kisses strategically in front of Drew, I'll even pick you up for a couple of "dates" but we'll really go play pool or something as friends. A totally fake relationship," Owen assures me.

I bite my lip and ponder this a minute, it sounds like a really bad idea actually, but it might just work. I'm sure that I can trust Owen and after what Drew did to me yesterday and what I went through, watching Drew squirm thinking I'm dating Owen sounds appealing. I just hope Drew comes around sooner rather than later because I don't know how long I want to date Owen, fake or not. I hope Drew comes around at all actually.

"Okay so I guess we're in a fake relationship. So what now?" I ask.

"Now we finish our assignment," Owen replies and I laugh.

We finish up the interviews but Owen graciously skips over the question about being a single parent. We return to class before the bell and turn our papers in.

"You okay?" Adam questions when I sit back at our table.

"Yeah it was just too hot in the classroom," I tell Adam. _"And I'm afraid to tell you that you're going to be an uncle," _I add silently in my head.

"You getting sick?" Adam asks.

"No I don't think so it was just hot," I reply.

The bell rings, Miss Sauve dismisses us and we start gathering our stuff. I see Luke walk out of the room but Owen lingers behind.

"You eating lunch with me and Eli?" Adam asks as we walk out the door.

I open my mouth to answer but Owen comes over, putting an arm around my shoulders and answering for me.

"Nope my girlfriend is eating lunch with me," Owen informs them.

Connor, Becky and Adam freeze while Owen and I turn and walk toward the caf.

"Girlfriend?!" Adam calls after us and I can't help but laugh a little.

There's a fair amount of people in the caf and we garner quite the amount of attention walking in together with Owen's arm around me. Owen grabs us some food and even pays to keep up appearances. I hear the whispering begin but we don't eat in the caf, Owen takes our food and we go sit on the bleachers at the football field. Putting on our jackets as it's freezing out here.

"Well we gave Adam quite a shock, and a good portion of the school now if only Drew would care," I lament while eating my yogurt.

"Trust me when Drew hears he'll care," Owen assures me.

We eat in silence for a few minutes, at least until Bianca comes storming over.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!" She yells stomping up the bleachers to where Owen and I are sitting. "Drew's one of your best friends, he just broke up with Clare and you ask her out knowing he's not over her yet?!" She snaps at Owen and then looks at me. "And you! How could you date someone like Owen?!"

"Hey!" Owen says offended.

"Bianca we aren't really dating," I tell her hoping to dispel her anger.

"Then why is the whole school saying you are?" She questions.

"Because we want it to appear that we're dating but it's all fake," I reply.

"Okay more details please," she requests sitting down.

"Owen said Drew got jealous when he saw me pulling up with Lucas. I didn't want to break up; Drew broke up with me, so…" I'm saying when she cuts me off.

"So you two are fake dating to drive Drew mad with jealousy and make him realize what a terrible mistake dumping you was," she finishes catching on quickly.

"Right," Owen nods.

"Devious," she grins like a Cheshire cat, "I love it! But why make the whole school think you're dating? Why not just make out in front of Drew or something?"

"Because we have to really sell it or Drew won't believe, it's not a con unless we're conning everyone. Plus I think it's going to take more than one make out session for Drew to want me back," I tell her.

"Just pretend you slept with Owen, that will get to him," Bianca suggests and I shake my head.

"He has to want back in a hundred percent, want me back more than just not wanting to lose me to Owen," I tell her.

"Okay you want to draw me a map to that sentence?" Bianca requests, guess vague isn't going to work here.

"I'm pregnant," I clarify and Bianca's eyes pop out.

"Does Drew know?" Bianca questions and I nod. "AND HE STILL DUMPED YOU?! THAT PRICK!" Bianca screams and turns starting to run down the bleachers but I grab her.

"Bianca stop, I didn't let Owen beat him up and I'm not letting you either. I'm still in love with Drew, he got scared and broke up with me, at least that's what I'm hoping," I comment.

"Why not just tell Audra, she'd set him straight," Bianca remarks.

"Because I don't want him to be forced, if Audra forces him to be with me and support me then Drew will end up truly hating me and our child. I want Drew back, I want him to be a part of this and be here with me through the pregnancy, whether I keep the baby or not, but I'm not going to force him. If Drew's going to step up and come around then he has to do it on his own," I tell her.

"Well you dating Owen will definitely get to him; even if it is fake dating of course Drew doesn't know that. I have a study date with Dallas this afternoon at the Torres house, I'll be sure to talk about what a cute couple you are," Bianca grins.

"You and Dallas," Owen snickers.

"Shut up," Bianca snaps and hits his arm.

"Thanks Bianca, please don't tell anyone I'm pregnant though. Besides the two of you and Drew, only Lucas, his mom and Mia know that I'm pregnant, and my mom. I told Drew and he freaked out and broke up with me. I went home and e-mailed Mia because I was scared, then my mom found the pregnancy test in the trash. She more than freaked out; she disowned me, told me I was dead to her and kicked me out. When Mia couldn't reach me she called Lucas to come and find me and he took me to his mom's place which is where I'm currently staying. I just don't want anyone else to find out, I don't even know if I'm keeping the baby, I just want to keep it secret for as long as possible," I inform her.

"Well you can count on me not to say anything but damn you should have called one of us yesterday. I mean you find out you're pregnant, tell the dad and he freaks out and breaks up with you, then your mom disowns you and kicks you out, that's a hard day. Have you been to a doctor yet?" Bianca asks.

"No I'm only four weeks along and I know I'm pregnant," I reply.

"Well when are you supposed to have your first appointment?" Owen questions.

"I'm not actually sure, I was going to look that stuff up, of course I was hoping Drew would be doing it with me," I grumble.

"Well we should find out and I can take you," Owen tells me.

"Thanks but that's probably taking the fake boyfriend thing a step too far," I respond.

"Well someone should go with you and if you're pretending to date Owen then it might as well be him," Bianca remarks as the bell rings.

"Okay I guess you can take me," I shrug grabbing my empty yogurt container to toss it on the way back into school.

"You sure the yogurt was enough for you?" Owen asks when we toss our trash.

"Not much of an appetite, the first sign that I might be pregnant was the constant vomiting," I tell them making a face at the memory.

Owen puts his arm around me as we walk back into school to keep up appearances that we're dating.

"I'm on my spare but I was going to go to the resource center and start on some University applications, unless you guys want me to stick around?" Bianca offers.

"No go ahead, I have a spare right now too," I reply.

"Me too, we could go to the resource center and look up when you should have your first appointment and stuff," Owen offers.

"That would give away the fact that I was pregnant," I point out in a near whisper.

"We'll just say it's a project for parenting class," Owen counters.

"Okay but let me go to my locker to get a notebook first," I request.

Owen walks with me to my locker and I open it while he leans against the locker next to mine.

"You want to come to my place and do homework after my practice?" He asks and I give him a look. "What? It's a thing that boyfriends and girlfriends do," he argues.

"Yeah but Drew won't be there," I remind him.

"Yes but my family is going to have to think we're dating too, Tris goes to the same school," Owen points out.

"Okay fine," I give in closing my locker.

"Kiss me," Owen says suddenly looking over my shoulder.

"Excuse me?" I question.

I try to turn my head to see what he was looking at but Owen puts a hand behind my head and crushes my lips to his. I realize he must have seen Drew and start kissing him back. Our mouths stay closed and we only hold it for about five seconds but it's long enough. The second our lips have space between them a fist makes contact with Owen's face and he falls back as I shriek!

"STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" Drew yells at him trying to swing another punch but Owen ducks.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore you broke up with her," Owen reminds him

Drew just gets angrier and knees Owen in the gut! I gasp as Owen doubles over but then he tackles Drew to the ground and I gasp again.

"Guys stop it! Owen knock it off!" I demand, after all he has no real reason to be fighting over me.

Neither of them are listening though, they're both just rolling around on the ground wrestling. I reach down trying to pull them apart and begging them to stop, but they're concentrating too hard on the other. Drew tries to punch Owen in the face while he has the upper hand but Owen catches his fist.

"Owen, Drew sto…ow!"

My sentence cut off by a sharp whimper as Drew rips his fist from Owen's grasp, the momentum so strong the inertia sends it flying back. Instead of making contact with Owen's face Drew's fist makes contact with my stomach and I fall back into the lockers.

"What the fuck is going on?! What the hell's the matter with you two?!" Jake growls at them as he catches me and helps me to stand.

"Milligan, Torres get up now!" Armstrong barks at them just as the bell rings. "Everyone else get to class," Armstrong tells the crowd that has gathered and they begin to disperse.

"Clare are you okay?" Owen asks me.

I look at Drew but he won't even look at me, he just stands there with his fist and jaw clenched and his head down.

"I'm okay," I nod.

"Why were you two fighting?!" Armstrong questions them.

"He was kissing my girlfriend," Drew growls but without looking up.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore; you broke up with her yesterday. As of today she's my girlfriend and I can kiss my girlfriend," Owen responds.

"Clare?" Armstrong asks.

"Drew broke up with me yesterday and I'm dating Owen now," I confirm.

"Okay Drew stay out of their relationship, and both of you have detention. Owen I'll speak to your coach about keeping you after practice to serve yours. Drew I'll see you after school," Armstrong tells them.

Drew growls and walks off, Armstrong leaves to teach a class and I look at Jake.

"Shouldn't you be getting to class?" I question.

"Yeah but I had to talk to you, why'd you and Drew break up? Why'd you move in with your dad? And why are you dating Owen?" Jake inquires.

"_Guess mom told Jake and Glen that I moved in with Dad, that's original." _I grumble silently before replying, "Drew and I had a fight, Owen asked me out and…I just couldn't take living with mom anymore."

"You want me to talk to your mom?" Jake offers.

"Don't bother she won't listen, you better get to class, Owen and I are on our spare," I tell Jake.

He gives me a look, shoots a look at Owen and then walks off; Owen waits until we're alone in the hall before speaking.

"Are you sure you're okay? Drew knocked you pretty hard in the stomach," Owen says.

"I'm alright really, it didn't hurt that much and it's not like there's a baby to really hurt yet," I respond.

Before Owen can answer Adam rushes over, he's got a spare this period as well.

"I just heard Owen got in a fight with Drew because he hit you, also why are you dating Owen?" Adam inquires.

"Drew threw the first punch but he didn't mean to hit Clare," Owen tells him.

"Drew got jealous that I was kissing Owen, he accidently hit me while they were fighting," I affirm.

"Okay and you're dating Owen because?" Adam questions.

"Because Drew broke my heart and Owen's sweet, can we drop it now?" I say in a sharper voice then I intend, Adam flinches slightly and I sigh. "You want to go get a start on our writing craft class homework?" I ask Adam.

"Yeah sure," he nods.

"See you after school," I say to Owen and deciding I better sell the fact that we're dating I reach up and kiss his cheek.

Owen grins, I turn taking Adam's arm and we walk off toward the garden.

**(DREW)**

I went to the weight room and started hitting the punching bag. I was angry and just swinging punches, pretending the bag was Owen.

"Bro you're going to hurt your hand if you keep doing that," Dallas warns me.

"I don't fucking care," I reply, I pull back to swing again but Dallas blocks my hand.

"If you don't want Clare to go out with Owen then why don't you go talk to her?" Dallas suggests.

"_Because I can't, because she hates me now or why else would she be going out with Owen? Because I hit her, and yelled at her, let her down and I'm too ashamed to face her." _Instead of saying any of that I just push Dallas away from me. "Just back off!" I snap at him and storm out.

Owen is in the resource center, he's not the only one but there are only a couple other kids in there. He's at a computer facing the back wall and I march in with my fist clenched!

"What are you doing with her?" I growl at him in a low voice.

"Doing what you couldn't, stepping up," Owen tells me and I look at the screen. He's looking at prenatal appointments, my anger rises even higher, burning even hotter. My jaw gets tight and I clench my teeth, my heart pounding hard in my chest. "Clare and I will raise the baby together," he tells me in a low voice so that no one else hears.

I want to punch him again but instead I rip the other computer from it's stand and let it crash to the ground! The other kids are looking at me now and I storm out, out of the room and out of the school, leaving my jacket and backpack in my locker.

"DREW WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Adam yells after me but I ignore him and keep walking.

"Drew," Clare pleads putting her hand on my arm.

The anger inside me erupts at her touch I yank my arm away and turn to her. "LEAVE ME ALONE! GO BE HAPPY WITH OWEN!" I yell at her.

She starts to tear up, shrinking back from me and pulling her jacket tighter around her as, Adam runs up putting an arm around her and glaring at me. I look away from them both, angry and ashamed at myself.

"Andrew what is wrong with you?!" My brother scolds me.

I'm already walking away though and I don't look back. I've never actually ditched school before and I don't feel much like being around people so I just walk home. I'm burning so hot with anger that the below zero temp doesn't even bother me as I make the four block trek home. The house is empty thankfully, I go up to my room slamming the door and laying on my bed. When I hear a car in the driveway I know Mom is home, I know she's angry when she slams the door and stomps up the stairs.

"Destroying school property and getting into fights?! What has gotten into you Andrew? This isn't like you; did Clare do something, is that why you broke up with her?" Mom questions in a scathingly disappointed tone.

"Yes…no…just leave me alone Mom!" I snap at her.

"That's not happening; you've been suspended until Monday. You'll spend your suspension here with me, on lock down doing homework, extra credit and extra chores. Starting with cleaning out the garage, come on lets go," Mom commands.

I huff but get up and go down to the garage, I'm still cleaning it out when Bianca and Dallas pull up close to five.

"Dude I thought you'd be dead considering you got suspended," Dallas remarks when they get out and start walking to the basement.

"I'm on house arrest," I respond.

"I'll be right in," Bianca says to Dallas, he nods and goes inside. Bianca walks over to me and leans on a box. "So are you more pissed that you lost the best thing you ever had or that Clare and Owen make such a cute couple? Maybe it's that Owen is more of a man than you, that he's stepping up and supporting Clare and he's going to raise the baby with her."

"Good it's probably his baby; he can be stuck with it! We were always safe; it's not my child she cheated on me! He asked her out the second I broke up with her it must be his!" I growl back out of hurtful anger, not thinking at all about my words before they leave my mouth.

"Wake up you moron," Bianca snaps at me slapping me upside the head. "Clare is not the kind of girl that would cheat and she loves you. It's your kid Drew; you left Clare alone and scared! She got kicked out by her mom and the reason Lucas brought her to school this morning is because she's now living with him. Maybe you should stop thinking about yourself for two seconds and start thinking about what Clare is going through!"

After her lecture Bianca storms off, her words don't do anything but fuel the fires of rage inside me. She's not wrong though, I sink down and lean against the boxes, anger and shame storming inside of me. There's a little part in the back of my mind that's yelling at me that Bianca is right. That I need to man up and go to Clare, beg for forgiveness and be there for her and our child. The angry part of my brain, the irrational selfish part of me, the part that's worried what my family will think, that part gets bigger and stomps on the part of me that thinks about apologizing to Clare. It smothers that part until it's all but extinguished and all that's left is a deep burning ire.

"What was with you today? I get that you don't like seeing Clare with Owen but you scared her today Drew. I don't like it either but you broke up with her, she has the right to date who she wants," Adam reprimands walking up.

"JUST BACK OFF ADAM!" I holler at my brother.

He flinches back a little, then sighs shaking his head and walks away toward the house. I decide to ditch the garage and walk off, sticking my hands in coat pockets. I can't sit here any longer and I can't keep cleaning out the garage it's just making me angrier. Everything is making me angrier; I need to find a way to blow off some steam!

**(CLARE)**

"Are you okay?" Adam asks after his brother storms off.

"I didn't mean for this to happen Adam," I apologize sniffling in my tears.

"Didn't mean for what to happen? Why'd you two breakup anyway?" He inquires.

"I told you Adam we had a fight, we just…Drew just didn't want me anymore," I reply with a heavy sigh.

"Then why is he getting so angry? Also why are you rebounding with Owen of all people?" Adam questions.

"Drew broke up with me I can date whoever I want," I respond in a sharper tone than I intended and Adam scrunches his face at me. "Come on let's just go finish our homework."

We sit back in the garden and do homework until the bell, we walk in together but we have different classes this period.

"You want to meet at the Dot after school? If Mom finds out Drew ditched she's going to explode, I should probably stay away from home for a while," Adam says when we reach his music class.

"Sure," I smile and walk to my native studies class.

"So from Drew to Owen huh?" Dallas remarks sitting at his desk.

"Owen asked me out," I shrug.

"Damn I should have been faster," Dallas replies sardonically.

"You've already got a study date with Bianca," I remind him.

He just grins and some other kids start filing into class. Class consists of a video and reading in our text books. When the bell rings I walk to my locker and stash some books. As soon as I close my locker and turn around I'm met by a pair of lips, my pseudo steady sweetheart's lips to be exact. It's a soft peck, we don't even part our lips and it's only a few seconds but he leans me against the lockers and I put my hands at the back of his neck so I'm sure that it looks much more passionate than it really was.

"Drew ditched we don't need to be making anyone jealous," I whisper when Owen breaks the kiss but remains leaning over me.

"Gotta con everyone," he whispers back and then raises his voice, "still coming to my place after practice?" He asks.

"Yeah I'll be at the Dot with Adam," I tell him.

"Good pick you up there," Owen responds straightening up so I can walk.

He walks out with his arm around me and Adam is waiting for me on the steps. Owen gives me one last quick kiss for show and then he walks toward the Ice Hounds bus. Adam and I walk to the Dot and get a table, barely able to pull out our books before Alli sits herself down at our table.

"I thought you had totally lost your mind when you started dating Drew last summer but at least you seemed happy. But really Clare Owen?! He's like the grossest guy in the school," she says in a lecturing disapproving tone.

"Alli he is not, Owen is very sweet," I argue defending my fake relationship, got to con everyone. _"And Owen is noble, brave and is a good friend; after all not very many people would go to the lengths he's going to help me get Drew back."_

"Alli I don't like it either but it's none of our business who Clare dates, unless Owen hurts her then we can step in but it's not up to us to pick her boyfriends," Adam says in my defense and I smile at him.

Considering his brother is involved Adam's handling stuff pretty well, of course Adam is probably the most even keeled person I know, and he doesn't know all the factors. If Drew doesn't come around he may never know all the factors. Alli huffs and walks off, Adam shakes his head and I get back to my homework. Adam gets himself a snack but I'm not hungry, I just get a ginger ale, hoping it will settle my stomach. Owen walks in a little after half past five and I start packing up my stuff.

"See you tomorrow Clare," Adam smiles when I've got my stuff packed up.

"You want a lift home?" Owen offers to Adam.

"Better not, if Drew sees me pulling up with the two of you he might blow his top…again, see you guys," Adam replies.

Owen puts his hand at my back and we walk out to his car, his house is just a couple blocks down and he parks.

"Holy crap it's true!" Tris exclaims when I walk into the Milligan house with Owen.

"Tristan language!" His mother admonishes from what I assume to be the kitchen but she's behind a wall so I can't see.

Owen closes and locks the door, puts his hand at my back and we take a few steps into the house. His mom was indeed in the kitchen, she's tall and thin with strawberry blonde hair and Owen's eyes. She gives me a kind smile and gives me a quick once over.

"Clare this is my mom Lydia, Mom this is Clare my girlfriend," Owen introduces us.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Clare," Lydia smiles shaking my hand.

"Thanks you too," I smile.

"You know my brother Tris," Owen says nodding back to him and Tris says hey. "We're going to do homework in my room, can Clare stay for dinner?" Owen asks.

"Yes of course," Lydia smiles then Owen and I walk down the hall to his room.

Owen's room is a mess, dirty clothes, hockey gear and towels scattered about, along with trash and some remnants of past meals.

"Sorry wasn't expecting to bring home a girlfriend today, fake or not," Owen apologizes.

"It's fine, it's neater than Eli's room," I tell him, of course Eli has hoarding tendencies so that's not saying much.

Owen pushes a bunch of clothes off his bed and pulls his comforter down smoothing it out so we can sit on his bed. He leans against the headboard and I lie on my side, propped on my arm while I start on my native studies homework.

"Assuming this scheme actually works and I get Drew back what are we going to tell your family? Or anybody for that matter?" I inquire after a few minutes.

"That you were still in love with Drew and got back together with him and we're all friends again. Assuming he doesn't kill me for going out with you between now and then," Owen remarks and then looks down at his book. "Hey I looked it up, you should have your first prenatal between six and eight weeks. You can have one earlier to confirm you're pregnant though," he says after a few minutes.

"I know I'm pregnant, I don't need it confirmed, I knew I was pregnant before I took the home pregnancy test. I was just hoping I was wrong, that I was sick or something," I reply.

"Okay well we should find you a doctor and schedule you an appointment in the next few weeks," Owen says.

"We? You do remember this is all a scheme, we're not actually dating and you're not the father," I point out.

"Yeah I know but that doesn't mean I can't go with you as friend, I don't want you going through this alone. You aren't alone in this Clare and I don't want you to feel that way," Owen counters and I smile at him.

"Okay I'll call tomorrow," I tell him.

He grins and we go back to our homework, working for about an hour before Tris calls us that dinner is ready. We leave Owen's room and I see that his dad is home, he has darker hair than Owen's, a similar build but he's a little more slight, Owen is more buff but I'm guessing that has to do with the sports Owen plays and how much he works out.

"You must be Clare, I'm Ron, Owen and Tristan's father," he says extending his hand to me.

"It's nice to meet you Sir," I smile shaking his hand.

Lydia made chicken, rice and salad for dinner, the chicken looks good but it was cooked in onions and garlic and the strong smell is getting to me. I may not really be dating Owen but I'm not going to be rude so I sit down at the table next to him determined to eat as much as I can. I take just a little bit of everything and no one says anything, Owen does give me a bit of a concerned look though.

"So when did you and Owen start dating?" Lydia asks after asking how everyone's day was.

"Today, Clare's boyfriend of like forever broke up with her yesterday and Owen asked her out today," Tris answers for us.

"Not forever just six months," I correct Tris.

"That's terrible that you broke up after so long, what happened?" Lydia questions and I look at Owen.

"Mom she doesn't want to talk about it," he says coming to the rescue and I smile at him.

His parents ask me a few more questions but every time they ask something I don't want to answer Owen changes the subject for me. After dinner Owen says he has to get me home and I grab my stuff from his room before saying goodbye to his family. We get in his car and I tell him how to get to Lucas' house. He walks with me to the door and I open it with my key, Lucas is on the sofa and looks over at us.

"I was starting to wonder what happened to you," he says in a lightly scolding voice.

"Sorry I did homework with Adam and then went to Owen's for dinner," I apologize.

"I didn't know you guys were such good friends," Lucas comments.

"Well now you know," Owen remarks sardonically, "also we're pretending to date so Drew will realize he's an idiot for leaving her."

"Cool, wait so you know she's…" Lucas starts.

"Pregnant, yeah I put the pieces together after she was vomiting and told me her mom kicked her out. I'll see you tomorrow Clare, hey and call the doctor to set up an appointment," Owen reminds me.

"Yeah I will," I nod.

Owen waves and turns for his car, I close and lock the door behind him and start walking up the stairs.

"I'm going to take a shower," I tell Lucas.

"Okay, oh Mia called when she didn't hear from you," Lucas tells me.

"Shoot I forgot and my phone is still at my mom's house," I comment.

"That's what I told her, well anyway she and Izzy are coming out in a couple of weeks," he informs me.

"I'd love to see them, Izzy must be so big. I'm going to shower and finish up my last bit of homework," I reply.

Lucas just nods and I go upstairs to the washroom, I toss my book bag in my room and turn on the shower. A million thoughts rushing through my head as I wait for the water to heat up, on top of the list is concern and confusion about Drew's suddenly perpetually angry state.

**Update next Tuesday starting with Drew pov and making a friend of sorts.**


	3. Don't Walk Away

**Tonight's episode was just sickening! I wanted to vomit like twelve times, anyway enjoy the chapter.**

**Ch. 3 Don't Walk Away**

**(DREW)**

I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do, I just wanted to be away from everyone. At least everyone who was going to try and tell me my business, everyone who was going to ask me what was going on and ask me why I broke up with Clare, so I had to get away from my family and friends. I wandered a few miles away from the houses back towards school a little and out to the ravine. I started at one end and just started walking down along the water. I had no idea where I was going, or where the kids hung out, Owen once told me it wasn't far from the school but I didn't exactly feel like company so that's not where I was headed. I was still walking, caught up in my mind when I heard my name being called.

"Hey Torres."

I stop walking and look over to see Fitz with a couple of his buddies that do go to DeGrassi still, buddies that unlike Owen and Bianca haven't turned their lives around.

"Pissed off about your girlfriend leaving you?" Asks one of them, I think his name is Craig but he's not at school enough for me to remember.

"Clare left you?" Fitz snickers.

"She didn't leave me!" I growl marching up to Fitz and getting in his face. "I BROKE UP WITH HER UNDERSTAND?!"

"Dude chill, have a beer," Fitz says after I yell in his face.

I take the beer and sit down against a tree, opening the can and taking a few sips. "I thought you found God?" I question Fitz after a minute.

"I did, I would have punched you in the face for yelling at me before. I hold a steady job, I don't get into fights or threaten people with knives anymore, I haven't given up all my vices. We're drinking in the woods we're not hurting anybody," Fitz points out.

"So you pissed off that you broke up with Clare and she's dating Owen now?" One of them asks; I forget his name too.

"Clare left you for Owen?! Dude that has to hurt," Fitz laughs.

"Shut up, I don't want to talk about her or my so called friend," I respond in a bitter tone.

"Hey I feel you dude, I thought I'd get out of juvie and my friends would be happy to see me ya know? A few of them were," Fitz says waving his hand around, that's still clutching his beer, indicating his current drinking buddies, "but my two best friends wouldn't even come see me. I tried to tell them that I'd found God and turned my life around. They'll hardly even look at me when they come into the Dot. At least Clare forgave me but Eli started getting all weird and possessive and she avoided me to make him happy, then he goes and tries to kill himself and writes that creepy ass story."

"Yeah they're friends again you know, she always swore to me they were just friends now but maybe, maybe they were more. And Owen, he's supposed to be one of my best friends but the second I break up with Clare he moves in on her! Some friend," I grouse as I finish off my beer and take another from the cooler.

"Don't you think you should slow down?" Fitz asks.

"I think you should mind your own damn business!" I bark back at him.

We sit for a while talking, mostly trashing people at DeGrassi, mostly Owen, Bianca and Clare. I lose track of time but I drink three more beers during this time.

"Hey I gotta get to work, make sure he gets home guys," Fitz tells his friends.

"Yeah sure," one of them says and then Fitz takes off.

"I know she's lying, she has to be lying," I mutter as I finish my fourth beer and stand up a little wobbly to go to the cooler. "Hey we're out of beer," I slur to the other two.

"I've got something a little stronger," one of them remarks pulling a bottle of clear liquid from his pocket and handing it to me.

I take the bottle and open it, the fumes make my eyes water and smell is very strong. Holding it to my lips I take a sip, my face scrunches when it hits my tongue, burning my throat on the way down. I think it's vodka but it tastes like it was mixed with lighter fluid or something. I sit down and we pass around the bottle, we're mostly silent aside from the occasional remark or random noise.

"I never should've sharted dating her; she's my best brother's friend, no wait that's not right. My brother's best friend that's a girl, you should never date your Adam's friends 'cause they are just trouble," I slur and the other two start laughing. "You know what the worst part is? Huh? You know what totally fucking sucks about this whole fucking fucked up sitiation, I shtill love that girl. I Andrew Torres," I say standing up with the bottle in one hand and the other over my heart; I take a huge swig before passing the bottle. "Me Andrew Drew Torres, that's me you know, I still love Clare Diana whose mom is a bitch Edwards. I still love Clare, that's the worsht part of this whole thing!" I tell them stumbling a few steps and taking back the bottle before one of them takes another sip. "I still love Care…wait dats not her name. Her name rhymes with Care! I love you CareClare!"

Suddenly the world starts to get dizzy, the trees are shifting, the ground is moving, I fall forward and then the lights go out! I wake up late Tuesday morning, my head is throbbing, my stomach hurts and there's a horrible smell. My eyes open slowly and I look around, I appear to be in a van, an old one with a mattress in back. I sit up slowly and groan as even that movement hurts my head. I feel like I'm going to barf so I find the handle and rush out, I see a few kids sitting around a fire pit, the backseat of a car that was ripped out and some logs. It vaguely occurs to me in the back of my head that I must be at the ravine where the kids hang out. I don't really think about it as I get through the trees a little way and lean against one just as everything in my stomach comes up again. Kneeling down on all fours as I hack up what feels like everything I've eaten in the last week. I finish and lean against a tree, groaning as I feel like death and then I hear an angry and slightly distressed voice. I don't feel like moving but the voice happens to belong to the girl I love so I get up and start walking back fast.

"No you're a pig and totally disgusting, I don't even want to look at you!" Clare snaps.

"Aw come on baby you seem like you need to party, I'll show you a real good time," some ravine scum says with his arm around her waist.

"Let go of me!" Clare demands.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER!" I scream at the guy hitting him as hard as I can and he lets go of her.

He falls to the ground as Clare gasps, the guys is buzzed and slightly dazed but I'm so fueled by rage I don't even care. I sit on him and just start punching him as hard as I can, hitting his face again and again! I don't even care when his nose starts spurting blood getting it on my fist and clothes.

"Drew stop!" Clare begs on the verge of tears but I keep punching the guy. "Andrew stop you're going to kill him!" She shrieks grabbing my fist before I can hit him again.

I yank my fist back looking at her, standing up from the bloody boy now on the ground I take a step toward Clare. She takes a step back from me ending up backed up against Fitz.

"What are you even doing here?!" I growl at her.

"Looking for you," she says crying a little, "Adam called last night and said you were missing. I was worried, no one could find you."

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME CLARE! GO BACK TO OWEN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I scream at her and turn away, too angry and ashamed to look back at her. I feel like hell but I take off walking as fast as I can to get away from Clare, my coat is gone, I just notice as it starts to rain and I become soaked to the bone.

"HEY DREW!" Fitz yells. I ignore him and keep walking, "Dude slow up, what was all that about? What the hell is wrong with you?" Fitz questions.

"Just leave me alone Fitz," I growl at him.

"Where are you going?" He asks ignoring my last request.

"I don't know, somewhere else," I respond sharply.

"Come on you need some breakfast and I know a place we can go," he tells me.

Since I don't have any better idea I go with Fitz, we walk to the Dot first. He goes in through the back and tells me to wait in the alley; he comes back out with some breakfast. Black coffee which is gross but at least he got me a couple of croissants to soak up the acid in my stomach.

"I need to get off the streets, my mom's probably looking for me, or got the cops out looking for me," I remark as we start walking.

"I told you I know a place," Fitz says.

We walk about a mile and end up near an abandoned train bridge. It looks like other kids hang out here sometime but right now we're alone. We sit on a couple of crates to finish our coffee and eat breakfast. When we're done eating we keep sitting there, silent and me stewing in anger.

"What are you even doing here? Why stay with me?" I question Fitz after a short time.

"I didn't want you to get hurt or something, you don't know all the backdoor places in this town," Fitz replies. I just shrug and lean back against the stone wall. "I have to get to work, come on I'll get you home," Fitz comments after a few hours.

"I can't go home, just leave me alone I'll find my own way," I respond.

"Drew you should really…" Fitz starts but I interrupt him.

"JUST LEAVE ME!" I holler at him.

"Just be careful," he says slowly sounding reluctant to go.

He walks off, looking back at me a couple of times but he's finally out of sight. I sit there alone wrapped up in my angry thoughts, convincing myself that Clare had cheated on me, that it wasn't my baby, that I had every right to be angry and l had every right to leave her to take care of it on her own. While my anger is fuming I hear voices, voices of teenagers coming this way and I realize that the rain has stopped. A small group of teenagers appears from around the corner, four guys and two girls. They sit down and start passing around beers, one of the guys offers me a beer and I take it. Then another, and another, and another until I'm so drunk I can hardly see straight. Which in my drunken state seems like perfect time to start walking, I stumble around a bit, it's gotten dark now, and manage to find my way back to DeGrassi and I keep going. Stumbling onto the front lawn of Clare's house, I recognize her mom's plotted plants on the stoop and the window planter box that Glen put in.

"HEY YOU BITCH!" I scream at the house picking up a plant, in a pot with daisies painted on it, and tossing it through the kitchen window!

Glass shatters with a loud crash! Glen, Jake and Helen come running outside but Clare isn't with them.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! I knew you were trouble, I never wanted Clare to date you!" Helen snarls at me.

"Drew what's wrong with you?" Jake inquires coming over to me.

"WHERE IS SHE?" I yell at Jake.

"She doesn't live here anymore Drew. You're family's been looking for you, you need to go home," Jake tells me.

"SCREW OFF!" I yell at him curling my fist and taking a swing but I slip on the wet snowy grass, fall forward into the snow and go unconcious.

**(CLARE)**

I get out of a nice hot shower, wrap myself in a towel and go back to my room to get pajamas on. As soon as I have my towel off I hear my phone ringing. I expect it to be Drew, he always did seem to know when I was naked, even when we weren't anywhere near each other. When I see the caller ID I find that it's the wrong Torres brother as it's Adam who's calling me.

"Adam?"

"Have you heard from Drew?" Adam questions.

"No, not since this morning at school," I reply, "what's wrong?"

"He's missing," Adam tells me.

"Missing?! What do you mean missing?!" I exclaim as my chest gets tight with worry for Drew.

"He's only been gone for a couple of hours; we're just calling around to see if anyone has seen him. Dad and Dallas are out looking for him, we'll find him he can't have gone that far. Just if he calls or comes by call us will you?" Adam requests.

"Yeah of course, call me if you find him please?" I tell him.

"I will," Adam says and hangs up.

I quickly get dressed in jeans, a long sleeve top and my fuchsia wool coat. Snow boots last I grab my purse and start running down the stairs.

"I'll be back," I call into the kitchen as I head for the door.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going? It's minus twelve outside and snowing again and you don't have a car," Lucas points out shutting the front door before I can make it out. He's dressed for work and has to leave soon but his shirt isn't buttoned up exposing his white undershirt.

"Drew is missing I'm going to look for him," I reply as Evelyn comes out from the kitchen.

"Isn't Drew the baby's father?" Evelyn asks.

"Yes and Adam just called and said he was missing I need to find him," I reiterate getting frustrated that they won't let me go.

"You can't go wandering around the streets in the cold and dark by yourself Clare you're pregnant! People are looking for him, they will find him, you need to stay here with Mom and relax. I have to get to work, do not leave this house," Lucas asserts.

"But…" I start to argue.

"Lucas is right honey you need to take care of yourself; it's only going to make things worse if you get sick. Someone will find Drew, his family is out looking for him they will find him," Evelyn says taking my hand and pulling me away from the door.

She sits me on the sofa and hands me the TV remote, I sigh and turn on the TV. Lucas finishes getting ready for work and hugs me before he leaves reminding me not to leave the house. I watch TV with Evelyn for about three hours before she goes to bed but I can't sleep, I'm just worried about Drew. The hour gets later and Adam hasn't called yet. I fall asleep on the sofa watching TV sometime after one in the morning. I wake up when Lucas lifts me into his arms and starts carrying me upstairs. He lies me in bed and I'm still clutching my phone, I wait until Lucas is out of the room before I check my phone again. Adam still hasn't called or even texted, I bite my lip fighting back the tears I just want to know that Drew's okay.

I wake up to my alarm Tuesday morning feeling exhausted and even more worried because I still haven't heard from Adam. Getting up slowly and dragging myself to the washroom for my morning bout of vomiting, I skip breakfast and take so long to get ready I get to school late even with Lucas driving me. I get a note from the office and head to class, Adam isn't in class, they must still be looking for Drew, this only makes me more worried.

When class lets out I stash my backpack in my locker and go outside, I don't want to be at school, I want to know how the search is going. Then for whatever reason the idea comes to me to check for Drew in the lot, the part of the ravine near the school where the kids hang out. I look back at Officer Turner but he isn't paying attention to me so I slip into the woods and start heading there. It's fairly quiet this early in the morning, I only see a few guys sitting or standing around. I emerge from the trees and a guy sizes me up licking his lips.

"Hey Baby you looking for me?" He asks his words slurring just slightly he must be a little drunk.

"No I'm looking for Drew Torres have you seen him?" I question.

"Nope but you got a nice rack wanna stay here and party with me? I got something you can look for, it's hidden in my pants," he laughs in a slimy tone.

"No you're a pig and totally disgusting, I don't even want to look at you!" I snap at him.

"Aw come on baby you seem like you need to party, I'll show you a real good time," he says in a voice dripping with lust and creepiness as he steps up and puts his arm around my waist.

"Let go of me!" I bark at him trying to shove him away.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER!" Drew yells at the guy punching him with so much force he lets go of me.

I gasp as the guy falls to the ground! Drew sits on him and goes crazy punching the guy as hard as he can! Drew's fists connecting with the guys face again and again! The guy's nose starts spouting blood like a fountain but Drew is still punching him!

"Drew stop!" I plead feeling tears crowd my eyes as I think I might be watching Drew kill this guy. "Andrew stop you're going to kill him!" I shriek grabbing Drew's fist so he'll stop punching him.

Drew looks up at me, his deep blue eyes look into my light blue ones with hate. He pulls his fist out of my hand like my touch hurts him, he takes a step toward me and I'm afraid he might hit me next so I take a step back. I back up into a chest and hands rest on my arms softly, I don't need to see to know that it's Fitz; he still uses the same after shave.

"What are you even doing here?!" Drew barks at me.

"Looking for you," I reply timidly as a few tears slip from my eyes, "Adam called last night and said you were missing. I was worried, no one could find you."

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME CLARE! GO BACK TO OWEN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Drew yells at me then he turns away and takes off farther into the ravine. He storms off and the skies open up, rain begins pouring down washing over me, I wish it could wash away the hurt I'm feeling.

"What happened with you two? I don't remember Drew being so pissed off all the time," Fitz remarks.

I turn around and look up at the brown eyed freckled boy; we share a past in a way. We had one date that he blackmailed me into and it ended with a poisoning and Eli being threatened with a knife. Fitz went to juvie for three months and found God which brought us closer in a way as we now had something in common. He also works at the Dot so we see him around, I guess he's sort of a friend now but we don't exactly hang out or even talk. I just hope that I can count on him for something very important right now.

"Fitz please if you ever truly cared about me, if you really found God then please go after him. Watch out for him; keep him from hurting himself or someone else. I'm worried about him, he's…just please watch out for him," I beg the former bully.

"Fine but I gotta work tonight, now get back to school before someone else hits on you," Fitz orders.

He takes off running after Drew and I turn to get back to school. I barely make it back to the picnic tables when I sit down and start crying. The harder I cry the harder it seems to rain, I just sit there in the rain with my head in my arms and sobbing. Everything is such a mess, a couple of days ago my world was blissful, not perfect or anything but I was happy. I still lived at home, I had a wonderfully sweet boyfriend who didn't explode at the smallest of things and I hadn't confirmed that I was pregnant. One tiny pink + had totally shattered my entire world.

"Clare what the hell are you doing out here?" Owen exclaims pulling me up from the picnic table. "It's pouring and freezing, you're going to get sick," he admonishes me taking off his Ice Hounds coat and putting it around me. "Come on I'm taking you to Lucas' place."

"I found Drew," I tell him when we get in his car.

It's not until he turns on the car and the heater that I realize how cold I truly am. The heater hasn't warmed up yet so it's blowing out cold air, I curl up trying to warm myself with my body heat.

"Take off your wet coat," Owen orders. "Where did you find Drew?" He questions as I take off my wet coat and wrap myself in his Ice Hounds jacket.

"At the lot, he went crazy and tried to kill this guy that hit on me. I made him stop and he stormed off, I had Fitz follow him," I tell Owen with chattering teeth.

"I'll call Drew's house and tell them but I'm getting you home first," he says.

The heater quickly gets hot and I start to warm up. Owen parks out front of Lucas' house and he runs around to open my car door for me.

"Shouldn't you be at school? Why the hell are you soaked?" Lucas inquires opening the front door before I can get my key.

"You get out of your wet clothes and go get in bed, you'll be lucky if you don't catch pneumonia," Owen scolds me.

I go upstairs and change into dry pajamas wrapping up under the covers. I don't feel sick and I feel much better now that I'm warm but now I'm feeling the lack of sleep. I fall asleep while Owen is still downstairs talking to Lucas. I wake up later that afternoon after a nightmare about Drew being so mad he just starts hitting everyone in his way and when he can't bring himself to hit me he walks off and I never see him again.

"How do you feel?" Lucas asks when I come downstairs.

"Better now that I've slept but still worried about Drew, any word?" I question.

"No but you should eat and Owen said he'd swing by after practice," Lucas tells me.

"I'm not hungry," I shake my head sitting at the table.

"You need to eat something, fruit or a bagel or something," Lucas insists.

He gets up, grabs me a yogurt from the fridge and puts it in front of me with a spoon. I eat the yogurt slowly and we go to the sofa to watch TV. At about four I call Adam but he says they haven't heard anything yet. The doorbell rings a little after five when I'm eating dinner with Lucas and Evelyn.

"Hey Owen want to join us for dinner?" Lucas asks.

As soon as I hear Owen's name I get up from the table and go to him, the look on his face is not a happy one and I begin to panic.

"What is it? Is Drew hurt? He's not dead is he? Tell me he's not dead?" I beg as I fear the worst.

"Drew's not hurt but he's been arrested."

**Update next Tuesday picking up from around here.**


	4. Are You Waiting, Are You Wishing

**Hey Secret Romance fans, my friend and faithful reader Christlove88 approached me about writing an extension for chapter 15 and a bit of an alternate ending. I gave her the go ahead and she wrote them, I looked them over and she's ready to the post them! She's posted them this afternoon under her account so I urge all Secret Romance fans to go read as soon as soon as you read tonight's chapter of course!**

**Ch. 4 Are You Waiting, Are You Wishing**

**(OWEN)**

"Arrested?! What do you mean he's been arrested?!" Clare exclaims frantically, Lucas puts an arm around her as she begins to shake a little.

"He was really drunk; he went to your house and threw a potted plant through your mom's kitchen window. He was yelling and tried to fight with Jake before passing out. I don't know everything, Bianca said he's facing a bunch of charges including vandalism and drunk and disorderly. Audra and Omar are doing what they can to keep him out of juvie," I tell her as Lucas' mom comes out from the kitchen.

"Juvie? He's going to juvie?!" She whispers in a distressed voice and turns a little green. "I don't feel so good," Clare says after a few seconds and then she drops like a dead weight as she suddenly goes unconscious!

"Shit!" I utter as Lucas and I both reach for her.

Lucas already has an arm around her and he picks her up before she hits the ground.

"Should we call 911, take her to the hospital?" Lucas asks his mom in a panicked voice.

"No she's waking up already, pregnant women faint all the time especially during their first trimester. There's a lot going on in her body, she's making an entire life in there and you add stress to that it gets to be too much," Lucas' mom says as Clare opens her eyes and grips Lucas' shirt reorienting herself back into consciousness. "Lucas why don't you lay her down on the sofa and I'll get her some water," Lucas' mom tells him and then walks back to the kitchen.

Lucas puts Clare on the sofa and she lets go of him, Lucas' mom brings her some water and I help Clare sit up a little.

"Thanks Evelyn," Clare smiles handing her back the water after taking a few sips.

"No problem Honey, how do you feel?" Evelyn asks her.

"A little dizzy, kind of weak," Clare replies sitting up a little more.

"Why don't you rest on the sofa for a while, we'll have the rest of dinner in the living room, would you like to join us Owen we have plenty?" Evelyn offers.

"Uh yeah thanks that would be good," I reply not wanting to leave Clare after watching her suddenly pass out.

Lucas goes into the kitchen and comes back with two half-eaten plates and hands one to Clare, he sits on one end of the sofa with the other plate in his lap. Clare moves so that she's sitting up and there's room for me to sit on the sofa between them. Evelyn comes out with a plate for me and her plate and she sits in the arm chair. Lucas turns on the TV and we watch while eating, Clare doesn't pass out again while I'm there but she doesn't eat much more either.

"If you guys don't mind I think I'm just going to go to bed," Clare says after nibbling at her plate for half an hour, eating the equivalent of about six bites and then setting her plate down.

"Of course Clare probably a good idea," Evelyn smiles.

"Are you okay, can you make it up the stairs?" I question.

"Yeah I can make it up the stairs; I think I'm okay now. Owen when you find out about Drew will you…"

"I'll tell you as soon as I know I promise," I assure her and she smiles.

"Thanks, goodnight everyone," Clare says standing up.

Lucas and I are ready to catch her but she doesn't fall and we watch as she makes it up the stairs on her own.

"I should probably get home, thanks for dinner Evelyn," I say getting up with my plate.

"Of course Owen, you're welcome over any time," Evelyn says as I put my plate in the sink.

"Thanks, will you call me if anything else happens with her tonight?" I request.

"Yeah of course," Lucas nods.

I tell them thanks and leave the house; I drive home and greet my family. Going into my room I close the door and start doing homework. I'm up late that night, both worried about Clare and waiting about news on Drew. I don't hear from Lucas or anyone else that night and fall asleep still in my clothes.

"Owen we have to leave for school," Tris calls banging on my door the next morning.

My eyes shoot open and I look at my phone, "Fuck!"

We have to be at school in half an hour, I jump up and get dressed as fast as can, quickly fix my hair, stuff my homework in my backpack, grab my brother and drive us both to school. We walk to the steps and Tris goes to his friends, I walk in to find Clare but find Dallas first.

"Hey any word on Drew?" I question.

"Yeah he's being sent to a camp near Fort Frances called Horizon or something like that, his flight is early tomorrow morning. It'll keep him out of juvie, Clare's mom wanted to press all kinds of charges. It's like a camp for bad kids; they go hiking and stuff even in the snow, go to therapy and volunteer at homeless shelters and stuff. It's a school too so he won't fall behind. He'll be back in eight weeks. Adam stayed home to help Drew pack and stuff," Dallas tells me.

"You seen Clare? I promised to tell her as soon as I found out," I comment.

"Haven't seen Clare, surprised you two care considering that you two are going out," Dallas remarks.

"He dumped her and you don't know shit, I gotta go find Clare," I say and walk off.

When I don't see Clare by her locker, with K.C. or any of her other friends, or in the memorial garden I send her a text.

**Owen: Where are you?**

**Clare: Bleachers.**

There's about six sets of bleachers at the school but I'm guessing she means the football bleachers where we ate lunch. I head out of school as the bell rings but I don't care about missing class, especially if Clare's missing class.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask sitting next to her.

"Didn't want to go to class, didn't want to see Drew or Adam in the hall and I have my first class with Adam. Is Drew going to juvie?" She asks quickly.

"They aren't here, Drew's getting sent to a camp, school thing near Fort Frances it's for troubled teens or something but it will keep him out of juvie. Adam stayed home to help him pack since he leaves tomorrow," I inform her.

"Great he's being sent a thousand miles away; you can stop pretending to date me now there's no point Drew won't see it. He's not going to get jealous he's been sent away," Clare laments standing up from the bleachers quickly.

"Clare," I say catching her hand and gently pulling her back down, "I thought the plan was to con everyone. Anyway Drew's only going to be there eight weeks not forever and I'm sure at least Adam will be writing to him. Maybe this is what Drew needs, he's been super angry recently because he can't deal with the fact that you're pregnant so maybe this will help."

"This whole thing is just a mess, my life, Drew's life, your life, Adam's and everyone else around us all our lives have been entirely screwed up. I can still have an abortion, maybe it won't be so bad if Drew doesn't come back to a problem," Clare says near tears putting her head in her hands.

"Is that what you want? Do you want an abortion?" I ask her putting a hand on her back.

She bites her bottom lip, some tears slipping from her eyes as she looks up at me again. "No but I don't know what else to do," she says as she starts sobbing. "I think it would be worse to give the baby up but I can't raise it on my own. What am I supposed to do Owen?"

"Clare you're not on your own even if Drew never steps up. You have me and Bianca, Lucas, Evelyn and I'm sure Adam and his family when you decide to tell them," I remind her and she nods. "You can get through this Clare, you're not alone. You just tell us what you need and what you want," I tell her.

"I want Drew, I need him," she says and cries harder putting her head in my lap.

I just rub her back and let her cry, at least until the bell rings and then I sit her up. "Come on we should probably show up for parenting class," I tell her as she wipes her eyes and rubs her head. "Are you okay?" I question.

"Not at all," she replies.

"I mean are you in pain or dizzy or something, you're rubbing your head?"

"It hurts, from crying I guess," she responds as she stands and then falters.

"Did you eat this morning?" I question grabbing her waist to keep her from falling on the bleachers.

"Evelyn forced me to eat an apple but I threw it up again," she says.

"Ok you get inside I don't think it's good for you to be out in the cold so long. I'll meet you in class with something to eat," I tell her.

"Okay thanks Owen," she says kissing my cheek.

I smile and stand up, helping her down the bleachers, we walk inside together and then she heads for her locker and I head for the caf. Not sure how much she'll actually be able to eat I get her a ginger ale and a granola bar. The bell rings as I start heading for our parenting class. I can hear Clare talking to someone as I approach but can't quite make out what they're saying until I'm close to the door and then I hear Jake.

"That boyfriend of yours is nuts! I always knew Drew had problems but showing up drunk! You always pick the crazies Clare," Jake says in a scolding tone, it's not exactly older brother concern more like condescension.

"What does that say about you? I dated you too!" She snaps back at him.

"Okay sometimes you have good taste," he snickers as I enter the room but he has his back to me so he doesn't see me, "but now Owen! What the hell is going on Clare?"

"What do you care Jake? My mom disowned me I'm not your stepsister anymore so it doesn't really matter who I date does it?" She responds in a sharp tone and gets up from her desk to walk to me.

Jake grabs her arm pulling her back but still hasn't turned around to look at me, "He vandalized the house and showed up drunk!" Jake growls at her while squeezing her arm.

I set down Clare's food, step around putting my hand on Jake's chest, shoving him into the desk he's sitting on which forces him to let go of Clare.

"Do not touch her!" I warn him in a calm but harsh tone while lightly crushing his chest with my arm.

"Owen he didn't hurt me let him go," Clare says putting her hand on my arm.

"Drew's parents are dealing with Drew and Clare is no longer your concern just stay the hell away from her! You don't know shit Jake," I bark at him taking my arm off his chest and gripping him by the shirt to get him up. I shove him away and he takes off through the doorway.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"I'm fine, he wasn't squeezing my arm, Jake isn't violent," she says.

"Come on you sit with me and Luke today," I tell her taking her food back to my table.

"You're really enjoying this f…" she starts to say fake boyfriend but Becky and Luke come in the room, "boyfriend thing aren't you?" She asks as she follows me back to my table.

"I saw you pass out last night I'm keeping a close eye on you," I reply as she sits down.

"Clare you passed out? Why'd you pass out? Adam told me about Drew? Why do you think he's so angry all of a sudden? Getting drunk and vandalizing your house, that's not like Drew," Becky says in basically one breath.

"It's not my house anymore Becky," Clare replies opening her ginger ale.

"So why'd you pass out?" Luke questions sitting at his usual spot next to me.

"I uh, haven't been feeling well," she responds slowly taking a small bite of her granola bar.

She drinks about half the ginger ale and nibbles about three bites of the bar before class starts and she has to trash the rest. Lunch is next and after that we have a spare period so I'll take her to the Dot and make sure she eats.

**(ADAM)**

"You're lucky you're not in juvie Drew, Helen wants your head on a stick she was yelling at Mom on the phone for almost an hour last night while Dad was picking you up from jail," I tell my brother after he finishes packing his suitcase and flops on his bed.

"Clare's mom is a bitch," Drew grumbles holding his head because he still has a hangover.

"Yeah I know," I reply getting up and going to the medicine cabinet to get Drew more aspirin, "that doesn't excuse what you did though," I remark giving him two aspirin.

"Yeah well I forgot that she moved in with Lucas and I never liked her mom," Drew responds swallowing the pills without water.

"Clare moved in with Lucas? Who the hell is Lucas?" I question.

"He dropped her off the other day, she says he's just an old friend," Drew replies through clenched teeth.

"If you're so jealous maybe you should call her," I suggest.

"No, I can't call her Adam," he sighs getting sort of sad, almost ashamed and then angry again. "Could you just leave me alone please Adam? I gotta be up at 3 am to get to the airport and I'm sure Mom's going to yell at me the whole way there," Drew sighs falling back onto his pillow.

"Yeah okay," I sigh getting up and reluctantly leaving my brother's room.

I have a million more questions for Drew but I know he's not going to answer them today, or possibly ever. I go into my room and try calling Clare, it's after six she should be home but she doesn't answer. She might be afraid it's Drew or more likely, knowing Clare the way I do, she's afraid I hate her because Drew is being sent away. I don't leave a message because I know I'll see her at school tomorrow. Dallas stays out after practice; Drew is on lockdown until he leaves early in the morning so he eats in his room. Mom and dad eat in their room and they're so pissed I'm not sure I want to eat with them anyway. I'm not on lockdown so I call Eli.

"Hey have you eaten yet?" I ask when he picks up.

"Yeah like an hour ago, is your mom so caught up with Drew she forgot to cook?" Eli questions.

"No she ordered food but everyone's eating in their rooms and I've been here all day, I feel like I need to get out of here," I tell him.

"I'll come get you, we could go to Little Miss Steaks or something, I could use some dessert," Eli offers.

"Thanks I'll be waiting outside," I tell him.

I put on my shoes and text my dad that I'm going out with Eli for a couple of hours. Then I wait for Eli on our front step, he pulls up a couple of minutes later. K.C. is working when we arrive at Little Miss Steaks and he seats us in a booth.

"Was Clare at school?" I ask him after K.C. gets our drink order.

"Yeah I saw her but didn't talk to her, Owen was around her all the time," Eli replies.

"They're dating and you were around her all the time even before you were dating," I remind him.

Marisol comes to take our order so Eli waits to reply. "Yeah but he was especially hovering, like he was worried about her or something. I did hear that she was arguing with Jake that morning. Did Drew really break a window at her house?" Eli asks me.

"Yeah, he threw a planter through the kitchen window but it's not Clare's house anymore she moved out," I inform Eli.

"Moved out? Moved out to where?" Eli inquires just as Marisol brings our drinks.

"She's living with some guy named Lucas according to Drew," I enlighten him.

"Who the hell is Lucas?" Eli queries.

"No idea, we can ask her tomorrow," I say.

We get off the subject of Clare and my brother and spend the rest of the time talking about Eli's play, and the band Mo is putting together that I'm thinking of trying out for. Eli takes me home at eight and after I shower I go to bed, setting an alarm for 3 am so I can say goodbye to Drew before he goes to the airport. I don't get much sleep, my mind in turmoil because I know two of the three closest people to me are keeping something from me. Something that tore them apart, is eating Drew from the inside and made Clare rebound with Owen, and possibly got her kicked out. When my alarm goes off I don't want to get up but I'm not going to see my brother for two months so I get up to say goodbye.

"Whatever it is Drew it'll get better," I tell him.

"Yeah I wish it would Adam, be good, see you in a couple months. Hey if anyone gives you any trouble tell Dallas he'll take care of it," Drew says.

We hug goodbye and then Drew hugs Dad, Mom tells him to grab their stuff and they go downstairs.

"I'm going to head into the office but you can get a few more hours of sleep," Dad says.

"Yeah I'll try," I respond and go back in my room.

I hear Dad leave and I do get back to sleep for a couple of hours. I wake up at the normal time when my alarm goes off and I groan. Dragging myself to the closet I get dressed, putting on my compression vest before my under shirt and t-shirt of course. Then my hoodie and my jacket, shoes and grab my backpack. Dallas is at the table eating breakfast, I'm allowed to drive Drew's car while he's away so I drive us to school. Dallas sees Bianca and runs over to greet her, I'm walking to the entrance when I see a car pulling up with Clare in the passenger seat and I really look at the driver knowing this must be Lucas. Clare kisses his cheek and gets out of the car so I wait for her, she isn't quite meeting my eyes and she bites her lip nervously as she approaches me.

"So that must be Lucas," I comment falling into step at her side as she starts walking up the steps.

"Yeah that's Lucas," she responds.

"Why didn't you tell me you moved out?" I question.

"I didn't move out I was kicked out," she tells me.

"Why were you kicked out? Clare what is going on?" I inquire catching her jacket sleeve and stopping her from walking.

"Nothing Adam," she snaps at me.

"Clare you can't tell me nothing, Drew broke up with you, you got kicked out, you're living with some guy I've never heard of before," I exclaim.

"Lucas dated Mia, you know the girl that moved to Paris to become a model? He's Jane's older brother, she dated Spinner, I know I've told you about Spinner," she says.

"Okay so why are you living with him? Why'd you get kicked out? Why won't you or Drew tell me what's going on?" I inquire in a frustrated tone because I'm tired of getting lied to.

"I can't tell you Adam," is her only reply.

"Why not?"

"I just can't Adam, please just let it go," she asserts.

"I don't get it; you and Drew are two of the closest people to me and neither of you will tell me what's going on! You two broke up and you're dating Owen but you and Drew still want each other," I lament in aggravation.

"Drew doesn't want me anymore," she shakes her head.

"Yeah he does, I know he broke up with you but every time he talks about you, he sounds sorry or ashamed. Angry too but behind the angry he's always sorry or ashamed. I don't know why you two broke up and I don't know why you won't tell me. You got kicked out and he got shipped off and no one will tell me what's going on and you both look miserable! I'll see you in class," I tell her giving up on the conversation as I see Owen coming and start walking away.

"Adam wait," she calls after me running over and catching my hand. "I can't tell you what's going on right now because…" she pauses with a heavy sigh, "I just can't okay but I will tell you when I can. Just not while Drew's gone, it's…complicated Adam. I'm sorry but that's all I can say right now. Is Drew…did he…" she stumbles over her words and I give in.

"Drew is okay, he's won't go to juvie and the camp might do him some good," I assure her.

"Everything okay?" Owen inquires coming over and putting an arm around Clare's shoulders.

"Yeah, see you in class Clare," I tell her and walk off to my locker.

**(CLARE)**

Wiping my hand over the fogged mirror to clear it I look at the reflection in it and frown at the girl staring back. I've got dark circles under my eyes and I'm slightly pale. It's been two weeks since Drew went to the troubled teens camp and I haven't heard anything from him. Adam's been giving me updates when he gets them, Owen and I are keeping up the fake relationship well, we have the whole school fooled, Adam and everyone else. Not that we do that much, he walks the halls with his arms around me, we almost always eat lunch alone on the football bleachers, I've had one other dinner at his house but he does hang out with me at Lucas' place a lot. Although I think it's more because he's worried about me, that I'm eating and making sure I won't pass out. We've kissed all of three times and always in front of Adam or Dallas who will tell Drew. Aside from that he's just been a really great friend, he even set up a prenatal appointment for me, I don't have it for another week.

Today I am seven weeks pregnant, seven weeks of having another life inside me. I wish I could say I was happy and glowing, thinking about the future and all the cute baby clothes we'd be getting, all the things we'd get to experience, like babies first smile, first laugh, first word, the first look when they open their eyes and look into yours. Only I wasn't looking forward to any of this. I wasn't even looking forward to being a mom, not without Drew. I wasn't alone, I had Owen, Bianca, Lucas, Evelyn and even Adam although he had no idea what was going on. I had Eli too but he was just as clueless and he'd been keeping his space recently, he was busy with the play of course but I think it was partly all the time I was spending with Owen.

"Clare, they'll be here in half an hour," Lucas calls through the door with a slightly nervous but excited voice.

"I'll be ready soon," I call back.

The reason he sounds nervous and excited is because our visitors this morning are Mia and Izzy. They were only in Toronto for the weekend, Mia was doing a shoot in New York and they were making a stop in Toronto for the weekend to see Lucas, Evelyn and me. I was excited to see Mia and it would be nice to speak with her about being pregnant and getting through it without a dad and just your friends. I dry my hair and go to my room to get dressed. It's January, snowing and around minus 20 so I can't just throw on a dress which is what I'd like to do. Instead I opt for dark purple jeans, wondering how much longer I'll be able to wear jeans as I slip them on. A long sleeve white shirt and a black sweater, then I brush my hair and I'm done I don't even want makeup on. I go downstairs just as the doorbell rings, Lucas opens it and Izzy comes in, Lucas picks her up and hugs her tightly.

"Hi Clare," Mia smiles embracing me as I reach the bottom step, I hug her back and look at Izzy, reminding myself that I can do this.

"Hey Mia, it's good to see you," I say and she looks at Lucas they sort of smile but don't embrace and then Evelyn comes out of the kitchen.

"Izzy do you remember Clare?" Mia asks.

Izzy looks at me, gets shy and kind of nods before looking at her grandma and then hugs Evelyn. "Grandma!" Izzy cries happily.

Evelyn greets them both and we go into the kitchen to have breakfast. Mia talks about Paris and her work, then Izzy talks about school and Lucas talks about work and going to the police academy. Izzy finishes her breakfast and asks to go watch cartoons in the living room and Lucas excuses her.

"How have you been feeling Clare?" Mia asks.

"Alright I guess, been having lost of morning sickness," I reply.

"I had terrible morning sickness too; it'll pass in a couple of months probably. All I ate was ginger ale and soda crackers for the first two months," Mia tells me.

"Yeah that's about all she eats too," Lucas nods.

"Did you set up your first prenatal?" Mia questions.

"Yeah it's next week, Owen's coming with me," I reply.

"I thought the dad wasn't involved?" Mia inquires.

"He's not; Drew…isn't even here right now. Owen is my boyfriend, my boyfriend now I mean, he asked me out after Drew dumped me," I say.

Mia smiles and we finish breakfast, after breakfast we go down to the harbor. Izzy wants to play in the snow and the ice skating rink is still up. While Lucas is playing with Izzy Mia and I sit and sip hot chocolate while watching them.

"Owen's not really your boyfriend is he?" Mia asks.

"No, he is a really good friend though and the whole fake dating thing was his idea to make Drew jealous," I confess.

"Was it working?" Mia queries.

"I don't know, Drew got real angry and then threw a potted plant through my mom's kitchen window and now he's out by Fort Frances. Owen says it was working and Adam seems to think Drew was jealous," I reply.

"And if it doesn't work? What's Owen going to do then?" Mia inquires.

"I don't know honestly, he says he'll be around no matter what but he's not ready to be a dad," I respond.

"I'd like to meet him; maybe he can come out tonight? Evelyn could watch Izzy and you, me; Lucas and Owen could go out and maybe we can ask Owen together. Stepping up is great but only if he's in all the way and if he's not he has to have a time to step out because Drew might not get jealous or realize what he wants and comes back," Mia advises.

"Yeah, I'll text Owen and see if he can meet us tonight," I tell her.

**Clare: Can you come out tonight?**

**Owen: Sure when and where?**

"Owen said he can meet us just needs to know when and where," I inform Mia.

"Good, tell him you'll get back to him and I'll talk to Lucas about it," Mia replies getting up to go talk to Lucas.

I send the text to Owen and he replies with cool. Honestly I'm a little afraid of how tonight's going to go.

**Update next Tuesday starting with Lucas, Owen, Mia and Clare's night out and including Clare's prenatal appointment and maybe a little Drew.**


	5. I'm Not Always on His Mind

**Guest reviewers check my profile page for responses.**

**Ch. 5 I'm Not Always on His Mind**

**(OWEN)**

"I'm going out with Clare and a couple of friends tonight, I'll be home by curfew," I tell my parents as I get ready to leave.

"Be safe honey and say hi to Clare for us," Mom says as I'm going through the door.

I call that I will and lock the door, as I get in my car and start driving it occurs to me that my parents are going to be kind of disappointed when I tell them Clare went back to Drew. They've grown quite fond of her but we'll stay friends, assuming Drew doesn't kill me for the whole fake dating thing. Lucas, Mia and Clare are all coming together so I'll see them at the restaurant. We're meeting at Terroni, it's Clare's favorite and she's the pregnant one.

"Hey Owen do you remember Mia?" Lucas asks when we I get to the table.

"Yeah of course, hard to forget the DeGrassi student that became a model," I reply shaking her hand, "good to see you."

"You too, I've been hearing a lot about you from Lucas and Clare," Mia says. A waiter comes; we order drinks and look at the menu. "Everything on the menu is like 1000 calories," Mia complains after looking at the menu a minute.

"You can afford them," Lucas chides.

"Not with my job I can't, I think I'll just get the roasted vegetable salad with dressing on the side. What are you getting Lucas?" She asks him.

"Lasagna and big thing of garlic bread," he replies.

"I think I'll get the tortellini with pesto and salad, how about you Clare?" I question.

"Breadsticks," she sighs taking a crunchy breadstick from the basket on the table.

"That's not dinner," I scold her.

"I'm just not that hungry," she sighs.

"At least get some vegetable soup or something, you and the baby cannot survive on breadsticks," I persist.

"Fine a cup," she gives in.

The waiter comes over and gets our order then I talk to Mia a little about Paris and being a model. When our food does come we eat mostly in silence, only making a little small talk. Clare does eat her whole cup of soup and a few breadsticks, even a few bites of my tortellini when I offer it to her.

"Why don't we go to the Break Room and shoot some pool?" Mia suggests when we're done eating.

"Yeah sounds good," I nod.

"Yeah I haven't played pool in a while," Clare says.

"You want to ride with me?" I offer to Clare and she nods.

We all bundle up to go outside again since it's minus 23 outside. I unlock the doors and Clare gets in the passenger seat. I follow Lucas and Mia to the Break Room and Clare is silent the whole way. We park and get out; we're walking in when Clare starts to slip on the ice. I run over and catch her before she hits the ground, I help her to straighten and walk in holding her arm so she doesn't fall again. There isn't a free table right now so we order drinks and dessert then sit down.

"So Owen Clare told me that you're not really dating and the whole thing is a ploy to try and get her boyfriend to step up and be the dad," Mia remarks she doesn't sound mad or anything but there's an edge of something in her voice that makes me nervous.

"Uh yeah but I'm not taking advantage of her or anything, we hardly touch at all, just a c…"

"Owen relax," Mia smiles cutting me off, "that's not what this is about. I get why you're doing it and hopefully Drew will come around but what if he doesn't? Have you thought about that? Being around for Clare right now is great but what if Drew doesn't come around? What if he never takes responsibility? Are you prepared to? A baby is a huge responsibility and it's not going to do Clare any good if you're here for her now and not after the baby is born," Mia tells me.

Honestly I never really thought about what would happen if Drew didn't step up and take responsibility. I just always assumed he would, or at least would be made too, even though I know Clare doesn't want him to be forced into it.

"Well I mean I'm not going to marry her or anything, Clare's great but we're just friends I don't even think of her that way, but I'm also not going to abandon her. I'll always be there for her, that means now and after the baby whether Drew steps up or not," I assure all of them.

"Good that's all I wanted to hear," Mia smiles and Clare leans over kissing my cheek.

"Of course Clare won't be able to hide the pregnancy forever, eventually Adam and the others will find out. When Audra finds out she's going to force Drew to be involved," I comment.

"Yeah I know but I don't want him to be forced, if Drew gets forced then he's just going to hate me. Hate me more than he does now, and resent me and the baby," Clare laments.

"Why don't you worry about that when and if it happens," Mia tells her and Clare nods.

A table opens up and we grab it, we play pool about two hours and then Clare starts getting tired so we call it a night.

"Mia and Izzy are leaving tomorrow night, my mom's making a goodbye dinner for them you should come," Lucas tells me when we get ready to leave.

"Yeah sure, see you guys tomorrow," I smile hugging Clare and Mia then shaking hands with Lucas.

With the roads and traffic it takes me over half an hour to get home, Tris and his friends are watching a movie in the living room when I get in.

"You're home early," Tris says with a shocked tone like he can't believe I'm home before midnight, not that I can blame him.

"Is Clare okay?" Maya asks.

"Huh? Oh yeah she's fine she was just tired I'm going over for dinner tomorrow night. I'll be in my room," I comment and head to my room.

I watch TV for a long time but I'm not really paying attention, everything Mia said today is on my mind. Honestly I expected Drew to step up by now, of course he's been sent away and won't be back for six more weeks, hopefully he'll be ready by then but what if he's not? I'm not in love with Clare, not sure that I could ever be, to me she'll probably always be Drew's girl. I'm just not sure I could ever see her as anything but my best friend's girl. So what if he doesn't come around? I'm certain that Clare won't be alone; she'll have Lucas and his mom. When Adam and his parents find out she'll have them too and at the very least they'll help her financially and all, and she'll have me, as a friend but I'm not ready for a kid and I couldn't raise Drew's kid.

It all keeps me awake late into the night and I finally asleep around 4am, then I wake up a little after noon the next day. My family is gone so I make lunch and just watch TV until Clare calls and tells me dinner is at five which is an hour from now, so I take a shower and get ready to leave. Tris already told my parents I was going over for dinner so they aren't surprised when I wave to them as I'm going through the door. It's a quick drive to Luca's place and I park out front.

"Hey," Clare smiles opening the door after I knock. She steps aside so that I can come in and closes the door behind me. I hear everyone else in the kitchen and I start to go that way but Clare grabs my arm, "Sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to ambush you. It was Mia's idea but I should have warned you. I never expected you to be the dad if Drew never comes round and I kn…" she starts to ramble anxiously so I put my fingers on her lips to stop her.

"You talk too much. It's fine Clare, I mean the whole fake relationship deal to make Drew jealous was my idea. I proposed it without really thinking it through but it doesn't change anything. You know I'll be around and here for you and the baby, if you keep it," I tell her.

"I know, she smiles, "come on they're all in the kitchen." She tells me and I take off my jacket hanging it by the door then follow Clare into the kitchen. "Izzy this is my friend Owen," Clare says to a little girl that looks strikingly like Mia.

"Hi," Izzy smiles.

"Hi Izzy," I grin.

I greet Evelyn, Lucas and Mia then we all sit down. Izzy spends a while telling me about her weekend and how much she misses her dad at which point Lucas looks a little sheepish and very regretful. Clare stops eating about a ¼ of the way through her very small plate and I look at her.

"Not feeling so hot," she says pushing her plate away and leaning back in her chair.

"Are you getting sick?" Lucas asks.

"It's probably just morning sickness," Mia disagrees.

"It's not morning," Lucas points out.

"They just call it morning sickness because it happens most often in the morning Lucas, it can come on at any time of day," Evelyn tells him.

"Excuse me," Clare says getting up and running upstairs.

"Guess it was morning sickness, I hope it stops soon she isn't eating much and what she does eat seems to come back up," I comment.

"It usually stops by the second trimester, it did for me. The second trimester is the best in terms of how she'll feel probably, more energy and able to eat. She'll also get umm…" Mia pauses looking at Izzy.

"There will be a lot of hormones raging around," Evelyn says and both Lucas and I pinch our eyebrows together in confusion.

"She'll have certain carnal needs," Mia explains.

"Oh," I nod and then it sinks in that she just said Clare will be horny! "Oh, yeah uh…let's hope Drew's come around by then." I remark nervously, don't get me wrong I'd be more than happy to get her off but like I said she's always going to be Drew's girl and that might get a little weird.

"The third trimester will be pretty hard probably, especially as she starts getting bigger. For me nights were the worst, I could barely sleep and it was hard to get comfortable. I had to pee every five minutes, constantly had heart burn and sometime I'd start to fall asleep and Izzy would wake up and start moving around and doing summersaults. My mom waited up with me a lot of nights and a neighbor stayed with me," Mia informs us.

"I work most nights I can't stay up with her and Mom has to leave for work so early," Lucas remarks.

"No one has to stay up with me, I'll be okay," Clare says coming back in the kitchen.

"Yeah they do and if Drew hasn't stepped up by then I'll stay over," I assert in a firm voice so that no one tries to argue. Of course Clare's as stubborn as they come.

"That's sweet Owen but you ca…"

"Yes I can and I will and don't argue with me again," I tell her firmly and Izzy giggles.

Clare sits with us and doesn't throw up a gain and even eats a little dessert, a very little. She does start to look a little nauseas again though but she doesn't run from the table again.

"We better get going, we've got an early flight," Mia says after dinner. "It was nice to see you again Owen and being there for Clare is important."

"It was nice to see you again too, and to meet you Izzy," I smile and she smiles back at me.

"I'll be calling and e-mail me any time you need to," Mia tells Clare.

"I will thanks Mia," Clare smiles hugging her.

Everyone else says their goodbyes and then Lucas walks Mia and Izzy out to their car. I thank Evelyn for dinner, tell Clare I'll see her at school tomorrow and wave to Lucas as he's coming back in, then I drive home.

**(CLARE)**

"So what are we doing for your birthday?" Adam asks when he gets to his locker.

"When's your birthday?" Owen questions, he's leaning against the locker next to mine doing his best to appear like my boyfriend.

"Thursday," Adam tells him and looks back at me, "so what are we doing?"

"I don't know Adam, I don't really feel much like doing anything," I tell him.

"Come on Clare, I know you broke up with Drew but that doesn't mean you don't celebrate your birthday, right Owen?" Adam says.

"Huh?" Owen asks not really paying attention.

"You're the new boyfriend aren't you going to help her celebrate?" Adam questions.

"Yeah of course we'll have a party," Owen says and I give him a look, "a small one at my house. We can have it Saturday, the three of us and Eli I guess. You don't really have any girlfriends do you?" Owen asks.

"Just Bianca since Alli got sent to boarding school and Jenna moved away, and with Mia's back in Paris," I reply.

"Well they aren't girls but there's K.C. and Connor, Liam maybe," Adam adds.

"Dallas and Luke, maybe Becky, plus Tris and his friends and Lucas, Adam and I can plan it you just be at my house on Saturday," Owen tells me.

"Fine just don't let it get out of hand," I request.

"Hey you can trust me," Owen says with just a slightly evil grin.

"Yeah sure," I laugh taking off my coat stash it in my locker.

"What happened to your arm?!" Adam exclaims and Owen looks over.

I look at my forearm, where Adam was looking just a second ago, to see a large bruise from hitting it last night. "I got up to use the washroom last night and I tripped hitting my arm on the washroom sink," I explain as Owen looks at my arm gives me a concerned look.

"I have to get books come with me Clare," Owen says putting an arm around my shoulders to indicate that I have no choice.

"See you in class Adam," I tell him and he nods.

We go around the corner but instead of going to Owen's locker we go into the memorial garden. Tori is in there with Zig but Owen fixes this by telling them to leave and they rush out.

"Tripped or passed out?" Owen asks when we're alone.

"Passed out after throwing up," I confess.

"Maybe I should start sleeping over now," he comments.

"What? Owen no my body is making another life there's just a lot going on. Anyway I have my appointment at lunch," I remind him.

"Yeah which I'm taking you to and if the doctor doesn't think this is normal then I'm sleeping over," Owen asserts.

"Fine but I have to get to class now," I remark as the bell rings.

Owen walks me to class and says he'll see me next period; I sit at my desk and get out my book.

"Drew called last night," Adam tells me.

Drew has now been at Horizon for three and half weeks. He calls home about once a week and writes to Adam two or three times a week. He hasn't called or written to me at all, but I guess I am the reason he's there.

"How is he?" I question while opening my book.

"He sounded pretty good, he says he likes the rock climbing and they play football. He likes the hikes and camping the best," Adam tells me.

"Camping? In this weather?"

"Yeah Drew always loved camping, even when we were little," Adam smiles probably remembering some family camping trip from days past.

I want to ask if Drew asked about me but I know if he had Adam would have said something. Mrs. Dawes calls the class to attention and I do my best to put Drew out of my mind. After class Adam and I go to our lockers and sit on the steps until it's time to go to parenting class. We don't do much in class other than discuss family lifestyles and the decision to have kids. When the bell rings it's lunch, I say goodbye to Adam, follow Owen out to his car and he drives the couple of blocks to the clinic where I have my first prenatal appointment. I had no idea how to choose an OB/GYN so I just made an appointment at the Riverdale Medical Clinic. I'm given some papers to fill out and I sit in the waiting area next to Owen to fill them out.

"It's asking for the father's health history and family history," I tell Owen after filling out the mother's history.

"You could call Adam," Owen says.

"Then he'd want to know why I was asking," I point out.

"So just leave it blank," Owen tells me.

I fill out as much information as I can and give the forms to the nurse. She puts it in a folder with my name and gets up. "Come with me," she says walking down the hall so I wave to Owen, he grabs my purse and follows me back. "Put on the gown and the doctor will be with you shortly," the nurse says and then closes the door as she leaves.

Owen turns around looking at the wall but when he turns around to see a close up poster of a uterus with a fetus inside he goes red in the cheeks. He shuts his eyes tight, covers them and sits in a chair. I smile at the fact that he's being a gentleman and start undressing, I leave my bra on but everything else comes off.

"You can look now," I tell Owen after putting on the gown.

He uncovers his eyes and looks at me as I get on the exam table, we're silent for a few minutes and then Owen gets up. He starts pacing the room and looking in the cabinets, "What are these?" He inquires looking at the metal stirrups at the end of the exam table.

"Those are stirrups, I put my feet in them and they spread my legs so the doctor can see into m…"

"Ok got it," Owen says quickly as he cheeks go a little red again.

When there's a knock at the door Owen opens it and a male doctor comes in! I hadn't given any thought to the fact that my doctor might be male, he seems fairly young too. I bite my lip and suddenly feel very self-conscious and embarrassed.

"Hello I'm doctor Burns," the doctor says shaking Owen's hand and then mine.

"Hi," Owen and I say at the same time.

"You must be Clare but I don't see any information on the father," Dr. Burns comments looking at my file.

"Owen isn't the father; Owen is just a very good friend. The father isn't involved…yet but I'm hoping he will be," I explain.

"Oh I see, well lots of women raise children on their own," the doctor remarks but he does it in slightly condescending tone. I'm certain he thinks I'm some slut or I got pregnant at some drunken party, I see Owen tense up just a little when the doctor says this. "First I'm going to draw some blood," the doctor tells us getting a tray with two vials and a needle on it.

"Why?" Owen queries as the doctor starts preparing me to have my blood drawn.

"We have to test for a number of things, HIV for example," he replies.

"I don't have HIV, I've only ever had sex with the father," I reply getting a little angry.

"None the less we need to test for it as well as varicella and a few other things and do a hemoglobin screening," he says inserting the needle and I look away. The doctor draws both vials and then takes off his gloves and starts putting on clean ones. "Alright Clare please lay back on the table and put your feet on the stirrups I need to do a pap smear, cervical exam and a cervical culture."

I lay back putting my heels in the stirrups and scooting down on the table. Owen's cheeks go red again and he turns around making me giggle. "Why don't you just stand by my head and look at the wall behind me," I advise him so he does.

I've always hated pelvic exams, even from my female gynecologist; I always found them embarrassing and an intrusion. The doctor is doing things between my legs but I can't see what. The next thing I feel is a speculum going into me and I cringe, when it gets opened I gasp and take Owen's hand. He squeezes my hand but doesn't look. It's not painful exactly just terribly uncomfortable, then I feel something scraping and I know he's getting the pap smear or the cervical culture. I cringe again, biting my lip, this is so uncomfortable and feels sort of violating, Owen squeezes my hand tighter. Then I feel something else go into me and more pressure as he gets another sample. I think that he's done but now his fingers go into me and I whimper.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Owen asks angrily.

"It's all part of the exam Owen, it's only uncomfortable for a moment," Doctor Burns replies. "Relax Clare you're too tense and I can't properly examine your cervix," he says to me.

"_I'm tense because you have two fingers shoved all the way into me between the speculum and it's incredibly uncomfortable!" _I think but force myself to release a breath and my muscles relax a little.

Finally the doctor removes his fingers and then the speculum and I finally relax releasing Owen's hand. Dr. Burns tells me everything is fine and then spends the next hour giving me instructions or recommendations on everything from dental visits and diet to environmental hazards and miscarriage precautions.

"Okay you can go now unless you have questions or concerns we need to address," Dr. Burns comments when he's done talking.

"Yeah she's been getting nauseas, throwing up and passing out a lot and I'm worried," Owen tells him.

"Not to worry son that's all perfectly normal especially for the first trimester, you have to understand her body is building a baby with nothing but cells. It takes a lot especially in the beginning. Her morning sickness should dissipate in a few weeks, usually by the second trimester. The fainting will stop soon and when the morning sickness stops she'll get her appetite back. The baby will take what it needs from the mother to survive," Dr. Burns tells Owen.

"Fine but what about Clare? If she's not eating and the baby is taking what it needs what happens to her?" Owen inquires.

"Just make sure she's eating as much as she can, anything else?" Dr. Burns questions and I shake my head. "Alright then make an appointment with the front desk and you can call the clinic if you have questions," he says and leaves.

"We need to find you another doctor I don't like him and I don't think he knows what he's doing," Owen comments when the doctor is out of the room.

"He just doesn't have a very good bedside manner, he seems young I think he's pretty new at this," I point out.

"Yeah like that makes me feel any better," Owen responds.

"It's a clinic Owen I see whatever doctor is here at the time," I tell him.

"Okay why don't you get dressed and I'll go make you an appointment and I'll make sure he's not on duty for your next one," Owen offers.

"Okay thanks Owen," I smile.

He grins back and leaves the room; I take off the gown and get dressed again then grab my purse. When I get out to the waiting room Owen is already outside so I go out to him and we get in his car.

"I made you an appointment for March 5th and Dr. Burns isn't on duty, it's a female doctor but I forget her name. The appointment's at three but it's a Saturday so I can go with you," Owen informs me as we start driving back to DeGrassi.

"Thanks Owen, that's just six days before Drew gets home," I sigh and Owen puts a hand on my shoulder.

We drive back to school in silence and barely make it before the bell for last period. I slip into my desk slightly out of breath because I was running down the hall.

"You and Owen sneak away for a nooner?" Dallas snickers when I sit down and I smack him in the back of the head.

Dallas opens his mouth but Mr. Perino starts his lecture and Dallas shuts his mouth. When the bell rings and I stand after sitting so long I get a shooting pain inside. Although considering everything that's been inserted and poked into me today it's not so surprising. Bending over to get my backpack hurts a little but when I straighten the pain gets even worse. I bite my lip trying to stifle the painful cry but I whimper and inadvertently grab Dallas' jacket since he's next to me.

"Clare?" He asks tuning and putting a hand on my back.

"I'm okay, it's just a cramp," I tell him trying to let go of his jacket but I'm in too much pain and my fingers won't uncurl.

"You don't look okay, Becky go find Owen," Dallas instructs and I hear Becky leaving as Dallas helps me sit on the desk.

I'm still uncomfortable but the pain has diminished and I release Dallas' jacket. "I'm okay really, I got a cramp that was all," I tell him exhaling a breath as the pain starts to dissipate.

"Must have been one painful cramp," Dallas comments just as I hear running and I know Owen's coming.

"What happened?" He asks coming over with Becky and Bianca following.

"I stood up and got a cramp, I'm okay now and I'm sure Lucas is waiting to take me home," I tell him.

"Shit I didn't feed you at lunch, you need to eat," Owen says helping me to stand.

"So what were you two doing at lunch?" Dallas questions with a smirk.

"None of your damn business," Owen snaps at him, "let's get you out to Lucas and I'm going to make sure he feeds you. I'll come over after practice to check on you."

"That's not necessary," I tell him as we start walking out of school, Owen is carrying my backpack, his and my coat.

"I'm still coming," he tells me stopping just before the door to put my coat on me.

"Don't try and argue Clare in fact I'm going with you, I'll hang out for a while," Bianca says and I feel Owen relax. Since everyone is around he kisses me when we reach Lucas' car and I get in. "Hey Lucas I'm going to follow you to your place," Bianca tells him as the Ice Hounds and Becky start walking away.

"Uh okay," Lucas shrugs.

After Lucas starts driving he asks if everything is okay and I tell him what happened. He tells me to lie down when I get home and he'll get me some food. The funny thing is I don't feel hungry. Bianca comes upstairs to my room when we get home and Lucas goes into the kitchen.

"You sure you're okay? You think something's wrong?" Bianca questions when we're alone in my room.

"I think I had my first prenatal today and I had a speculum in me, the doctors fingers, a pas smear and got my cervix scraped for a culture so now it hurts in there. The doctor wasn't exactly gentle and Owen got mad at him but he made sure my next appointment was with someone else," I tell Bianca.

"Well at least Owen took care of it, surprised he didn't punch the doctor though. Sounds like you just need to rest. I'm gonna use the washroom, be right back don't go anywhere," she says going out of the room.

I hear the washroom door close and then my cell rings; I grab my purse from the edge of the bed where I dropped it. I don't recognize the number on the display but it's an 807 area code.

"Hello?" I'm greeted by silence and light breathing. "Drew?" As soon as his name leaves my lips there's a dial tone.

**Update next Tuesday with Clare's birthday and her party.**


	6. I Just Want to be with Him

**Tonight's episode was so frustrating and next week just…ugh! Stupid writers! Anyway I hope you enjoy tonight's chapter.**

**Ch. 6 I just Want to be with Him**

**(OWEN)**

"Everything's all set for Clare's party on Saturday, your father and I will stay out late but you're in charge. That means no alcohol, you clean up and you look out for your brother and the younger kids," Mom tells me over breakfast on Thursday morning.

"I know ma, it'll be a small party anyway," I tell her, _"And Clare can't drink right now," _I add silently. "Tris let's go we're going to be late," I call to my brother.

"What's the hurry? School doesn't start for 45 minutes," Tris gripes coming out with his backpack.

"Yeah but it's Clare's birthday today and I want to stop to get her flowers on the way," I tell him and Mom smiles at me.

"Wish Clare happy birthday and have a good day kids," Mom says as we leave.

I make a quick stop at the flower shop on the way to school, since everyone thinks we're dating and only Bianca and Lucas know it's a con, I get seventeen roses since Clare is turning seventeen today. Eight red, eight white and one pink rose, I don't get a card though because I don't know what to say. The lady wraps them for me the way I ask her too and I drive to school. Tris goes off to find his friends and I go to Clare's locker where I find Adam decorating with streamers and a birthday banner.

"Here, add this," I tell him handing him the pink rose.

"Nice," Adam grins taking the rose and taping it to the center.

"You heard from Drew?" I ask him.

"I find it funny that you're so curious about my brother given that you started dating Clare a day after they broke up," Adam comments as he finishes decorating her locker.

"Hey Drew's still my friend," I respond and Adam gives me a look. "He is, I just have a crush on Clare and asked her out." I lie, gotta keep up the act.

"He called last night; he told me to wish Clare a happy birthday and then told me not to. He's still pretty mixed up but he's not so angry, least I don't think so. He did say he tried to call her but chickened out and hung up," Adam informs me as he stuffs the leftover decorations in his locker.

"_Well that's a good sign, he's been there a month now I hope it's working," _I muse in my mind as Adam closes his locker. "I think I'll put the white one's on her desk in homeroom and give her the red one's when she gets here," I tell Adam.

"Good plan, need me to show you which desk is hers?" He asks me and I nod.

Adam has homeroom with her and he shows me which one is her desk so I put the flowers on it. Then we both go out front and wait on the steps for Lucas to drop her off. They pull up a few minutes later, she smiles when she sees us and hugs Lucas goodbye. I wave to him as he drives off and she walks over to us.

"Happy birthday Clare," Adam says hugging her.

"Thanks Adam," she grins and then looks at me or at least the flowers in my arms.

"Happy birthday Babe," I say handing her the flowers and she twists her mouth at me for calling her babe. She takes the flowers, hugs me with one arm and I give her a quick kiss since people are watching. She says thanks, I put my arm around her and we walk inside headed for her locker. "So Bianca's coming to the game tomorrow night and I thought you might want to go with her and watch me play. Assuming I get some ice time," I remark.

"Of course I'll come" she replies as we round the corner and her locker comes into view. "Thanks Adam," she says kissing his cheek for the decorations. "And you too," she gives me an actual kiss since people are watching again.

I take her flowers back so she can open her locker and she starts getting out books. "Did you eat this morning? You look kind of pale," I remark looking her over carefully and when I say it Adam starts looking her over too.

"I ate, Evelyn made me oatmeal, I'm just tired this morning," she says. When she has her books I take her backpack for her and give her the flowers back. We start walking for the memorial garden when Clare suddenly goes a little green. "I have to use the washroom," she says suddenly handing me her flowers.

"She looked kind of sick," Adam comments as Clare rushes off for the washroom.

"Must be the oatmeal," I reply because I don't know what else to tell him.

Clare rejoins us a few minutes later, she doesn't look green anymore but she still looks pale. I put my arm around her and she takes back her flowers, we walk to the memorial garden, Clare sits between me and Adam, kicking her feet off the bench and looking at her shoes. I tell her that everything is set for her party on Saturday and she smiles. When the bells about to ring I walk with them to their writers craft class.

"More flowers?" Clare grins, she pulls me down to kiss me again, because it's the thing to do but hey I'm not complaining. "Thanks Owen, now how am I going to carry all these?" She laughs.

"I'm sure we can get some ribbon and tie them all together, then I can attach them to the front of your backpack," Adam tells her and she smiles.

She grins and I leave her at class telling her I'll see her in parenting next period. My homeroom is exercise science which I have with Dallas who starts telling me about his hot study date with Bianca last night. When the bell rings at the end of class I walk to parenting and find Clare and Adam already there. This week is all about teen pregnancy and it's been hard on Clare all week but I've made sure she also works with me all week. At least class isn't so bad today and Becky keeps saying I'm a great boyfriend for getting Clare all the roses. I eat lunch with Clare and Adam, after lunch we all have a spare so we stay at the Dot, when Clare goes to the washroom Adam looks at me.

"I feel kind of weird telling you this seeing as you're dating her now but I found the birthday present Drew bought for Clare. He bought it the same day they broke up and I don't know whether I should give it to her or not," Adam tells me.

"Well what did he get her?" I inquire.

"A ring, not an engagement ring or anything, it was supposed to replace her chastity ring. It's like a promise ring I guess, it's white gold with two hearts in the center, one with her birthstone, one with his and on the inside he had it engraved," Adam informs me.

"I think you should wait and not say anything," I tell him. What I don't tell him is that I'm hoping Drew comes back and gives it to her himself.

**(CLARE)**

"Never been to a hockey game before," I tell Bianca as we find our seats at tonight's game.

"They're more violent and faster paced than a football game," she tells me.

Owen had dinner at Lucas' house last night to celebrate my birthday. He's been really great for all of this and I don't know what I'd do without him. I'd been feeling relatively good today but I hadn't eaten much so Bianca made me get popcorn and a soda before we sat down. I see Maya and Tris sitting a few rows away and wave to them. While waiting for the game to start Bianca fills the silence by telling me about the first time she met Owen and Fitz. Then music starts and the teams skate out, we wave to Cam, Luke, Dallas and of course Owen. After the opposing team skates out the national anthem plays with some boy from U of T singing, and then the game starts. Owen doesn't play at all the first period but he does play for all of second period, because coach pulled Luke out after he was in the penalty box for fighting. The Ice Hounds wind 7-4, the team starts celebrating on the ice while Bianca and I, and all the Ice Hound fans cheer and clap.

"The guys are going out and we're invited as we're dating two of the team," Bianca tells me as we start making our way out of the arena.

"But Owen and I aren't really dating," I remind her in a whisper.

"Yes but the team doesn't know that and Drew's been calling every other night and Dallas says he always asks about you. So the more Dallas and Adam have to tell him about you and Owen, the more jealous Drew will get. Anyway I drove you and I say you're coming with me," Bianca says linking her arm through mine and I smile.

We walk out to her car and she drives us to Little Miss Steaks, we sit at the bar while waiting for the team. Bianca gets a root beer float and I get a milk shake, Owen and Dallas are the first two through the door. Dallas and Bianca give each other a kiss hello but they don't break apart so it's really more like making out. No one else is here yet so I don't kiss Owen, he helps me off the stool and we go to the back of the restaurant, I sit on the bench and Owen starts pushing tables together. Eventually Bianca and Dallas join us and within a few minutes the rest of the team comes in. Dallas orders pizzas and sodas, a few puck bunnies filter in to sit and flirt with the team. Owen tries to get me to eat a piece of pizza but I'm not hungry since the milkshake filled me up. I get up and go to the washroom while Owen's still eating and when I return to the table there's a puck bunny in my seat flirting with Luke.

"You're in my seat," I speak up but she ignores me.

"Just sit in your boyfriends lap Clare," Dallas says with a grin.

I bite my lip and look at Owen nervously, he just smiles scooting his chair back so I can sit down. I gingerly perch in his lap leaning back against his chest while he finishes his pizza, everyone is talking loudly and there are about seven different conversations happening, I can't really make out any of them and I'm not really interested anyway. Soon I find that really quite fatigued and I lay my head on Owen's shoulder.

"You okay?" Owen asks in a low voice.

"Fine, just really tired," I reply.

"Come on I'll take you home," he says pushing on my lower back gently to indicate that I should get off his lap but I shake my head.

"No I don't want to ruin your celebration, I can take a cab," I tell him.

"Yeah like that's going to happen," he says softly and then I feel him lift his head a little to speak to the rest of the table. "Hey I have to get Clare home, see some of you tomorrow," Owen tells them and when I don't move off his lap he simply stands while holding me in his arms. I gasp throwing my arms around his neck at the swift movement.

He sets me down after taking a couple steps from the table; I feel suddenly extremely dizzy and grip his jacket. He holds me and keeps me from falling, the dizzy sensation passes after a minute but I keep hold of his jacket to walk out to his car and he keeps his arm around me. I get out to his car just fine but he doesn't let go of me until I'm in the passenger seat. He starts driving and I drift off to sleep, I don't wake up until I feel him lifting me up again.

"You don't have to carry me," I tell him.

"It's fine you're tired and anyway my walkway is slippery with all the ice," Owen says.

"You're walkway?" I question opening my eyes.

"You look kind of pale and I know Lucas is working tonight so I'm keeping you here tonight, you would have been over for the party tomorrow night anyway," Owen remarks as he manages to hold me and unlock his door at the same time.

He sets me down once we're inside, Tris and Maya are watching TV in the living room and I smile at them as Owen locks his front door.

"He didn't want me slipping on the ice," I explain since they're giving me a look because he carried me in.

"Aww," Maya says as Owen puts a hand on my shoulder and starts walking me back to his room.

"Are you sure it's okay with your parents if I stay the night?" I ask when we get into his room.

"Yeah," he grins, "they won't mind at all. You can call Lucas in the morning and have him bring you clothes for the party. You want one of my shirts to sleep in?"

"Uh yeah thanks," I nod.

Owen goes to his dresser and pulls out a dark blue t-shirt handing it to me. I change in the washroom and use some mouthwash since I can't brush my teeth.

"You take my bed, I'll sleep on the floor," Owen says unrolling a sleeping bag over a twin size futon on the floor by his bed.

"No I'm not taking your bed the sofa is fine, or I'll sleep on the floor," I argue.

"No you'll take my bed, for one thing, you're pregnant, for another you're the guest and I dragged you hear 'cause I didn't want you at Lucas' place since he's working tonight. The floor is fine and my family thinks we're dating remember? They expect us to sleep in the same room. I'm going to brush my teeth be right back," Owen tells me leaving his room for the washroom.

I decide that arguing with him is fruitless and if I try to just go to sleep on the floor he'll likely just pick me up and put me in his bed. So I give up and lay down in his bed, his bed is permeated with his scent, which smells a lot like Drew since they both use the same deodorant and it's very comforting. His sheets are cool, the blankets warm and I fall asleep before Owen comes back from the washroom. I wake up the next morning to the smell of vanilla and cinnamon, Owen's mom must be making waffles or pancakes. I'm surprisingly hungry; I haven't been hungry first thing in the morning in over two months. Owen smells it too as he sits up and grins at me, his short hair only slightly mussed from sleeping while I'm sure my curls are disaster.

"Morning," I yawn.

"Morning," he grins standing up and I see that he's wearing nothing but boxers. Owen is very buff and sculpted; I can't help but bite my lip and then thinking of Drew I look away. "I'll get dressed in the washroom and let you change, smells like Mom has breakfast so just go out to the kitchen when you're ready," he says grabbing some clothes from the closet and leaving the room.

I find my clothes from yesterday and put them back on; when Owen leaves the washroom I go in to fix my hair a little.

"Good morning Clare," Lydia smiles at me.

"Morning, it smells good," I reply.

"I made waffles, sit down I'll make you a plate," Lydia tells me.

I sit next to Owen and his mom gives me two waffles with warm syrup and melting butter. I eat the whole thing and even manage to keep it down; on the other hand I don't eat lunch because I'm not hungry. After breakfast I text Bianca and Lucas, I ask Bianca to go to Lucas' house and grab something for me to wear at the party and get my makeup bag and hairbrush then I text Lucas to let him know that Bianca is coming. I spend the day just relaxing with Owen, Tris and Maya; we watch a few movies and just kick back until about five when the others start decorating for my birthday. Owen won't let me help, he tells the others it's because it's my birthday and I shouldn't be doing anything but I think it's because I'm pregnant and he's worried. Owen's parents leave after the house is decorated and leave Owen some money to order pizza. Dallas and Bianca arrive first. Bianca has a bag and I go into the washroom to change and get ready, when I come out Eli is there with Adam.

"Happy birthday," Eli grins hugging me and putting my gift on the table.

Adam does the same and they step into the house greeting the others. I sit on the sofa with them as more guests arrive, Tori and Zig come first, then Connor, Dave and K.C., Becky and Luke come together and Lucas is the last to arrive.

"Hey look who I found on my way here," Lucas says walking in and I look back to see Spinner and Jay follow him in.

"Hey guys," I smile getting up from the sofa to see them.

"Hey Jay, and Spinner wasn't it?" Owen asks shaking their hands.

"Yeah," Spinner nods.

"You didn't tell them did you?" I ask Lucas in a whisper as I hug him.

"No figured you'd tell them if you wanted them to know, didn't even tell them you were living with me," he whispers back.

"Hey Spin," I smile hugging him, "how's Emma?"

"She's good, she's at home I came in to pick up some stuff from my mom's house," Spin tells me.

After hugging Spinner I hug Jay and then decide I better introduce them to everyone else. "Guys this is Spinner and Jay, those are my best friends Eli and Adam, that's Owen's brother Tris and that's Maya, Tori and Zig. Those are my friends Connor, Dave, K.C., Bianca, Dallas, Luke and Becky."

Spinner and Jay say hey, they start to mingle and I sit with Eli and Adam again. Since everyone's here he calls in a pizza order and while we're waiting for pizza I open my gifts. I get a lot of gift cards, Adam gives me a new journal and a signed copy of my favorite book, Eli gives me a gift card for the bookstore and a box of my favorite chocolates. A few people give me money which will be helpful after the baby is born. When I'm done opening gifts the pizza is here and people start taking pieces and eating, I'm not really hungry but I figure if I don't start eating people will think it's odd so I take a piece of cheese pizza and start nibbling at it slowly, everyone is talking, Bianca, Owen, Dallas, Lucas, Jay, Luke and Spinner are all talking. Eli and Adam are talking and I'm sort of paying attention. Connor, Dave and K.C. are all talking in one corner, Tris and his friends in another with Becky. Everyone is having a good time; I am too but keep wishing that Drew was here. Eli and Adam are talking about Dead Hand and I excuse myself to go get a drink.

"You okay?" Adam asks following me to the breakfast counter where the sodas are.

"Yeah I'm fine," I tell him but he twists his mouth at me because he knows me better than that. I take his sleeve and pull him down the hall, "I'm just missing Drew I guess, I feel like he should be here."

"You want to call him?" Adam offers.

"No he doesn't want to talk to me, besides Owen probably wouldn't be too happy," I lie. Actually Owen would be happy and wouldn't mind one bit because we're not really dating. Truth is I'm scared to talk to Drew, I don't want him to be angry still and I think he needs more time to heal.

Adam gives me a sympathetic smile and hugs me. I get a soda and we sit on the sofa with Eli again. Tori and the younger kids leave at 11, including Tris who is sleeping at Maya's house. Everyone else stays until Owen's parents come back, I thank them for the party, gather my things with some help and kiss Owen goodbye since everyone is here. Lucas, Jay and Spin help me take stuff out to Lucas' car and load it in, I hug them goodbye and Lucas starts driving us home.

"So did you have a good birthday?" Lucas asks me.

"Yeah it was a nice birthday, I do wish that Drew was there though," I admit.

"I'm sure he'll make up for it when he comes back," Lucas says putting a hand on my shoulder, I smile and he drives us home. "We'll leave everything in the car and I'll grab it in the morning," Lucas tells me when he parks in the driveway.

Not wanting to carry anything in either I agree it can all stay in the car, the gift cards and cash are all in my purse anyway. Lucas unlocks the door and we go in quietly since Evelyn is asleep, Lucas goes into his room so I go into the washroom first to brush my teeth and wash my face. In the middle of brushing my teeth however I start feeling funny, my heart starts pounding, not beating fast just hard, like it's trying extra vigorously to pump blood. I get sort of dizzy, more like light headed, gripping the side of the sink as I drop my toothbrush in the sink and take a couple of deep breaths but it doesn't pass. Rinsing my toothbrush I drop it in the holder and go into my room. I'm still not feeling great but it's not really concerning, there's so much going on in my body there are bound to be times when I feel off. I get undressed and slip on a nightie practically falling into bed and drifting to asleep.

**(OWEN)**

"So Drew's home next week," Dallas remarks when I get to my locker.

"Yeah I know next Friday, can't believe he's been there almost too months already," I remark but it feels like he's been gone longer, maybe because Clare talks about him every day and it breaks my heart how much she misses him. "You think he's better? I mean he's not going to come back angry still?" I ask him.

"He doesn't sound angry on the phone, he asks about Clare too, kind of a lot, he uh might try and get back together with her," Dallas warns me and I only shrug. "You mean you're not worried?" Dallas asks.

"I knew she was still in love with Drew when I asked her out, not going to stand in their way," I reply, Dallas looks at me like I'm insane and opens his mouth to say something but Tris and Maya come running up before he can.

"OWEN! OWEN!" They yell running up together.

"Something's wrong with Clare!" Maya tells me in a hurried and panicked voice.

"Where is she?" I ask and they take off running so I follow them.

I hear Dallas running behind me, we round the corner and I see Clare slumped over leaning against the wall, her hands on her legs and her head down. My first thought is that she's dizzy and about to pass out again, we're near the storage room so there aren't a ton of people here but a few are gathered around her.

"Back off give her some room to breathe," I bark at everyone as I run over to her.

I put a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me with a small smile straightening up. "I'm okay," she says trying to assure me.

"You don't look very okay," I respond.

"Should we take her to the nurse? Or call an ambulance?" Dallas asks.

"No I'm okay really just forgot to eat this morning," she asserts taking my hand, she's putting on a smile for everyone but she's squeezing my hand very tightly. "Walk me to class," she requests.

"Of course," I reply taking her backpack and putting an arm around her shoulders. "You sure you don't want to go to the hospital or home at least?" I ask her.

"My next appointments in two days, it's not that bad I just feel kind of…off," she tells me.

"Off how?" I question.

"I don't know, hard to describe, just off. There's a lot going on right now in my body but I'm okay," she affirms although she sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than me.

"Do I need to get you some food?" I ask her.

"No I had toast this morning," she replies.

"Okay if you start to feel worse I'm at least taking you home," I tell her.

She nods as we get to her homeroom class, the classroom is empty but I walk her in and she sits at her desk. I set her backpack down but I'm worried about leaving her alone so I sit on the desk next hers. I stay with her even after a few other kids come in the room but I don't leave her until Adam is there because I know he'll watch her close.

"Hey Owen," Adam nods to me. He doesn't pay much attention to me being in here with Clare because like the rest of the school he thinks we're actually dating.

"Hey, watch her for me she wasn't feeling well," I tell Adam and he gives Clare a worried look.

"Yeah don't worry I'll keep an eye on her," Adam assures me.

I give Clare one more look and then leave her to go to my homeroom. Dallas is already there and he nods to me.

"Clare okay?" He asks.

"She says she is but I'm kind of worried," I admit.

Class seems to drag on because I can't help but worry about Clare. When I see her parenting though she looks a lot better and I'm relieved. I still have her sit at the table with me and Luke just to be safe. For the rest of the day she seems fine, she doesn't eat much but that's normal she hasn't eaten much for the last ten weeks. I still keep a close eye on her though and when Lucas picks her up I tell him to watch her and I'll be over after practice. Coach works us hard during practice and I'm beat when it's over and starving but I want to go check on Clare. I drive to Lucas' place and he answers the door when I ring the bell.

"Hey she's resting upstairs, I have to work tonight and my mom was asked to take a double shift," Lucas says as he lets me in.

"I'm staying the night then, I know she said she was fine but I'm not taking any chances leaving her alone," I tell him.

"Yeah that's what I thought you'd say there's an air mattress in the closet and sheets and stuff. I have to leave in about an hour and I gotta shower but there's some pizza on the counter," Lucas informs me.

"Thanks, I'm gonna go look in on her and run home before you leave," I tell him, he nods and I go upstairs.

"Hey," she smiles when I peek into her room, she's sitting on her bed doing her homework.

"Hey, I'm sleeping over tonight," I tell her.

"Uh you know we aren't actually dating," she says.

"Yeah I know but you didn't look well this morning, Lucas is working tonight and so is Evelyn so I'm staying. I'm going to run home and grab some stuff and I'll be back before Lucas leaves for work," I tell her.

She doesn't argue and I leave her room calling to Lucas that I'll be back in ten minutes. Then leave and drive home to pack a bag for the night.

**Update next Tuesday from right about her, Owen staying the night, Clare's appointment and Drew's return.**


	7. Girl You Want so Much it Makes You Sorry

**As I'm sure most of you know this story came about after many requests for Clare to get pregnant in Friends with Benefits. xaviorismy1andonly3512 requested a Clew pregnancy story after I told her that Clare would not get pregnant in Friends with Benefits. She gave me a couple of plots before I started plotting it but then she didn't want to see the plots when they were done. After I started writing she starting having more ideas and more plots which was fine only her ideas didn't work with the story I had planned already. I do want to tell her story however but this is no longer that story. This story will continue on the path I have planned for it and all of her ideas will be put into a short story, a story that will truly be hers, that story is on my list for plotting on my next plotting day.**

**Also I joined twitter tonight because the episode pissed me the hell off! Anyway aside from getting angry at the DeGrassi writers and producers I'm thinking I'll actually use it to let you guys know what stories are upcoming each week on Thursday and Friday, maybe drop hints about that nights chapter. And if any of you guest readers have twitter it might be an easier way to make requests to me and ask me questions. So if any of you care at all to follow me I'm Halawen_DFF**

**Ch.7 Girl You Want so Much it Makes You Sorry**

**(CLARE)**

I was sitting on my bed doing homework, trying to concentrate so I could finish but I was horny! I had no idea why, there was no reason to be, I hadn't been thinking of Drew or anything but that tickle was between my legs and it wouldn't stop! It was making it increasingly difficult to concentrate on my native studies homework. I would simply lock my door and masturbate but Owen was in the room with me, sitting at the end of the bed and doing his own homework. So I bite my lip and squirmed uncomfortably.

"What's the matter?" Owen asks looking up from his world issues book.

"Nothing," I shake my head, biting my lip again.

Owen looks back at his book and I go back to my homework. I'm still horny however and I can't sit still, so Owen looks up at me again after a few seconds.

"Something is obviously wrong you can't sit still," Owen responds.

"It's nothing," I say quickly.

There's a sudden knock on my door and I jump, Lucas peaks his head in and smiles at me, I smile back and bite my lip.

"I'm leaving for work now, I brought out the air mattress from the garage, there's pillows and blankets in the hall closet. If anything happens call my cell," Lucas insists.

"I thought the point in Owen staying over was so that we wouldn't have to bother you at work?" I ask.

"It is but I still want to know if something goes wrong," Lucas says. "Mom is downstairs watching TV; she'll probably go to bed in a couple of hours. I'll be back about 2:30," Lucas tells us and then he waves and leaves my room.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?" Owen questions when we hear Lucas leaving through the front door.

"No," I shake my head.

"Clare come on, pretend I'm Drew," he persists.

"That's sort of the problem, you aren't Drew," I respond and Owen cocks an eyebrow at me. I sigh, rolling my lip between my teeth and letting out a breath. "I'm…horny," I finally admit.

"Oh," Owen says and scratches his head uncomfortably. "I can uh…take care of it," he offers and now I cock an eyebrow at him.

"No that's…" I start to say and then bite my lip I really am horny.

"We already talked about it a…" Owen is saying when I cut him off.

"We had no such conversation," I dispute.

"No I had it with Mia, Lucas and Evelyn. It's not cheating Clare, Drew broke up with you and we're supposed to be dating. I'm stepping up when he can't and that includes everything," Owen asserts.

"I…ummm…" I mumble this is quite awkward but I'm also very horny and Owen has a point.

I finally bite my lip and nod after a moment of consideration, after all Drew left me and he can't blame me for having Owen get me off, especially since Owen's my boyfriend, well everyone thinks he's my boyfriend anyway.

"So uh we could…no uh that wouldn't feel right. Umm, okay so let's start with you taking off your jeans and panties," Owen says standing up and helping me off the bed.

He turns around allowing me to undress without him looking; although considering what we're about to do I find it funny. I undress from the waist down and sit on the bed again, hearing the squeak of the springs Owen turns around again. He stares for a second and then gets on the bed telling me to lie back, so I do. Owen gets between my legs and his head goes down between them, his arms go around my thighs and then his tongue slides into me! I pull in a breath and release a moan, my back arching as I grip the headboard. Owen's tongue darts around a little, I bite my lip and my head lulls back into the pillow. Owen's rather good at this and I'm already very horny so I feel the climax building very quickly. Biting my lip and moaning endlessly, my breathing increases exponentially and my hips buck, writhing against Owen's face. My body tenses, then relaxes and then tenses again before I climax, moaning loudly as I release!

Owen slows and then withdraws his tongue, I curl up quivering a little and Owen gets off the bed. I hear him lick his lips as he sits back on the bed. He hands me my panties and jeans again. After a few minutes I can breathe again and put on my panties but I don't wish to wear my jeans anymore. I stand but my legs are still shaking and I wobble, Owen hops up catching me by the waist so that I don't fall. I put my hands on his and find my footing again, assuring him that I'm simply still recovering and nothing else is wrong. He let's go of me when I'm stable and I walk to the closet getting out a pair of pajama shorts. I sit on the bed again and we finish our homework, Owen gets the air mattress and makes it up on my floor while I get ready for bed.

"Wake me up for any reason," Owen insists as I get into bed.

"I'll be fine," I tell him but he doesn't look like he believes me.

He goes out to get ready for bed and I lay down closing my eyes. I'm really rather tired and I'm already drifting to sleep when Owen comes back in the room.

**(OWEN)**

"You ready?" I ask Clare when I pick her up for her prenatal appointment on Saturday afternoon.

"Yeah I guess," she sighs grabbing her purse and coat.

"Dr. Burns isn't your doctor this time and if he somehow is on duty I'm taking you out of there after last time," I tell her taking her to my car.

I drive to the clinic and park, we go in, Clare tells them she's there for her appointment, they tell us to go back to exam room 4. I turn my back and let Clare change; she tells me when I can turn around. Clare sits on the exam table and we wait for about ten minutes before the doctor knocks on the door. The female doctor is a nice looking woman in her forties with dirty blonde hair that's pulled back in a ponytail.

"Hello I'm Dr. Jackman you must be Clare and Owen," she says after looking at her notes.

"Yes that's us but I'm not the father just a friend," I tell her.

"Yes I see that here in Dr. Burns notes. Why don't you lie back on the table Clare and I'm going to perform a sonogram to get an accurate gestational age," the doctor says.

"Will we be able to see the baby?" Clare asks as she lies back.

"Yes, the baby will even look a little like a human," the doc tells us lifting Clare's gown and putting gel on Clare's belly. "Right now your baby is only about two and a half inches it will be a little hard to see on the screen but I will take a picture and blow it up for you to take home," Dr. Jackman tells us and turns on the sonogram machine.

"When will I know the sex?" Clare questions.

"Not until next month it's too soon to tell right now, there if you look at the screen you can see," the doctor says and I look at the screen.

I see a very large head that looks more like an alien than human but I do see it. I kind of expect Clare to be happy and excited but she's just blinking at it. The doctor is also looking at it very closely and then puts more gel on Clare's baby and moves the wand to the right.

"Is something wrong doctor?" I question.

"No I don't think so, the baby is in an awkward position it's just hard to see. I'm going to put the fetal heart monitor on," the doctor tells us.

"Is something wrong?" Clare asks.

"No I just want to hear the baby's heart while I have a look around," she tells us.

She sets down the wand and picks up a belt looking thing that she lays on Clare's stomach. The doctor switches it on and I can hear a really fast heartbeat.

"That seems pretty fast," I remark.

"It's supposed to be, that's perfectly normal. Alright Clare, you baby looks very healthy and I think you were quite accurate, twelve weeks is right," the doctor says turning off the heart rate monitor and sonogram machine. "Given that and the date of your last menstrual cycle your due date is," the doctor takes out a little tablet and seems to do some kind of calculation, "September 17th."

"Great right after school starts up again," Clare says sardonically.

The doctor prints Clare a picture of the sonogram, gets Clare's blood pressure and her weight then asks if we have any questions.

"No," Clare shakes her head.

"She's been feeling pretty lousy, throwing up and getting dizzy, passing out."

"That's all normal Owen; she's got a lot of hormones and things going on in her body. Pregnancy can present in a number of symptoms and especially when, like Clare the mom is young and small frame. You should start to feel better as you get into the second trimester, have more energy but some women do continue to have morning sickness throughout the pregnancy. I'm going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins you can pick up from the pharmacy," the doctor says scribbling something out on a prescription pad. "Make another appointment for four weeks and if you have any concerns at all don't be afraid to call the nurses line."

"I like her much better," I tell Clare when the doctor has left the room.

"She also didn't have to do a pelvic exam but yes I like her better too," Clare nods.

"I'll let you get dressed and go make you another appointment," I tell Clare and she smiles. I leave the room and go to the reception desk, "I need to make another appointment for Clare Edwards in four weeks."

"Okay let's see four weeks would be April 2nd, that's Saturday again, do you want the same time?" The reception nurse asks.

"Which doctor is on duty that day?" I question.

"Dr. Burns," says the nurse.

"No anyone but Dr. Burns," I reply.

"Okay if you want Dr. Jackman again she's on duty that Monday the 4th," the nurse tells me.

"Good Monday is fine, during lunch if we can at 11:30," I tell her.

"Yes 11:30 is fine the next few appointments won't take very long," the nurse comments typing on the computer and then giving me an appointment card.

When Clare comes out I give her the appointment card then I swing by the pharmacy to fill her prescription.

"You want to swing by the Dot to get something to eat?" I ask her after getting in the car again.

"Actually I'm pretty tired can you just take me home please?" She requests.

"Yeah but I'm staying tonight since Lucas is working." I tell her and she smiles.

I take her home and she goes upstairs, I tell Lucas about her appointment and then go upstairs to check on her. Clare's asleep in her bed so I shut the door and let her sleep, going back downstairs to hang out with Lucas until he has to go to work.

**(DREW)**

The plane lands at Pearson airport and I open the blind on the window. It's night time and there's not much to see other than lights on the runway but I've been away from Toronto for eight weeks and it feels good to be home. It feels like it takes a very long time to taxi to the gate and for us to be let off. Then I have to walk through most of the airport to get to the area where families are waiting to greet their loved ones. I grin widely when I see Mom, Dad, Adam and Dallas here; Mom pulls me into her arms and hugs me very tightly for several minutes.

"Nice to have you home son," Dad says hugging me when Mom finally releases me.

"Good to have you back big bro," Adam smiles hugging me after Dad.

I high five Dallas and then we go down to baggage claim and grab my bags. We stop for dinner at Swiss Chalet on the way home and it's nice to be eating food that I didn't have to cook. Mom and Adam tell me all about everything that's gone on since I left, for all the news they give me two names are curiously missing from the list, Clare and Owen. Then of course Mom tells me that I'm still on probation and I have a whole list of chores to do this weekend. When we get home Adam and Dallas help me take everything to my room. I tell Adam I'm going to shower and go to bed, which is what I do, I fall asleep quickly and I dream about Clare all night long.

Mom doesn't let me sleep in; she wakes me up at seven for breakfast. I eat a good breakfast and then Mom tells me I get to clean the gutters. I do chores all day long, after the gutters I clean behind the fridge, and then clean the tile in all the washrooms with a toothbrush, then vacuum the entire house. By the time we have dinner I'm exhausted, I eat as much as I can and then fall asleep as soon as I fall into bed. I dream about Clare all night long again, I didn't talk about her or hear about her all day; I was too busy doing chores. Mom wakes me up seven again and after breakfast it's back to chores, Mom has me start by cleaning out the garage, the chore I should have done when I left that day. Adam comes out after a few minutes, sitting on a box and watching me work.

"So you going to tell me about Clare?" I ask my brother.

"I don't know are you going to tell me why you two broke up?" Adam questions.

"I already told you Adam," I respond somewhat annoyed.

"Yeah sure," Adam replies rolling his eyes. "Clare's fine, she's with Owen a lot, all the time really, I hardly see her except for Class."

"Then Owen's controlling her pulling her from her friends?" I question.

"No I don't think so; he's been worried about her. She's been kind of sick or something," Adam tells me.

"_Not sick, pregnant," _I think but don't say anything. "Then Owen's taking care of her?" I ask.

"Yeah, he seems to but she doesn't really seem happy with him. Are you going to talk to her tomorrow?" Adam queries.

I set down the box I was moving and look at my younger brother and Clare's best friend. "I can't Adam, I just can't, she has every right to hate me. What I did to her was beyond forgiving," I tell him.

"You broke up with her, how is that beyond forgiving?" Adam asks.

"You don't understand Adam and if I tell you then you will hate me. Now unless you're going to help me can you just leave me with my shame?" I request of him.

Adam shakes his head and sighs but he gets up and walks back inside. Cleaning out the garage takes me all day and after dinner I take a shower and go to bed. Mom wakes me up even earlier Monday morning, she tells me I'll be doing this for a while until she's sure I'm not going to behave like I was before I was sent away. Adam drives us to school and I head straight for my locker, I'm anxious and really afraid to see Clare. When I get to my locker I see her with Owen at his locker, he's getting books out and seems to be carrying her backpack while she argues with him that she doesn't need her backpack carried. She hates being told she can't do things, I know it's wrong but I smile and hope that they get in a bad fight and breakup. Then again even if they do break up Clare probably wouldn't come back to me after what I put her through. She sees me now, lingering at the end of the hall, she stops talking and looks right at me, her eyes locking onto mine, God how I love those amazing blue eyes of hers. She smiles just a little and waves, then Owen takes notice of me, he nods but closes his locker and puts his arm around Clare.

"Lucas is working so I'm sleeping over tonight," Owen tells her as they walk past me.

"_He's sleeping there! They're sleeping together! How long has that been going on?_!" I feel the anger in me rising, I clench my fist and get ready to punch the locker but then I remember everything I learned at Horizon and manage to calm myself down. I quickly put books in my locker and go see Mr. Simpson, he also tells me that I'm on probation and he'll be keeping a close eye on me.

"Hey Drew, welcome back," K.C. smiles at me when I leave Simpson's office.

"Thanks, nice to be back at a school where I don't have to cook and clean everything," I reply and K.C. laughs. We part ways to go to class and when I get to math class Jake is already at his desk.

"Hey Drew," Jake nods.

"Hey," I nod back. It's tempting to ask him how long Clare's been sleeping with Owen but Jake wouldn't know. He barely kept track of her life when they were living in the same house, he didn't even know she and I had had sex until weeks after the fact. My brother on the other hand is her best friend and he'd probably know. I find Adam at his locker after class and lean on the locker next to his. "How long has Clare been sleeping with Owen?" I blurt out.

Adam gives me a look as he closes his locker, "I don't know I'm not in the habit of asking Clare about her sex life. I'm guessing since he started sleeping over nearly every night which was about a week ago."

I lean against the locker and slump, "I lost her Adam."

"Why don't you talk to her Drew, you don't know you lost her until you talk to her," Adam says but I only shake my head and walk off to class.

"Hey welcome back, you got your anger control Hulk?" Bianca teases when I get into business leadership class.

"Yeah, I learned to control it and figure out what I was angry at," I reply.

"So how was the troubled teens school?" She asks.

"I liked camping and the outdoor stuff, the classes were just as boring as they are here and there was a lot of cooking and cleaning. I didn't really talk in group therapy sessions, a lot of the kids were there for drug abuse or worse, I was angry because I abandoned my pr…" I start to say pregnant girlfriend but other kids come into class so shut up.

"You know Owen has Ice Hounds practice after school you could go talk to her, I can give you Luke's address," Bianca offers.

"No, I can't. I screwed up Bianca, big time I did a lot and she has every right to never forgive me. Anyway I'm on lockdown for the next week I have to go straight home after school," I tell her.

"Okay maybe you need some more time but you should talk to her Drew," Bianca says just as the teacher comes into class.

I want to talk to Clare but truth is I'm too ashamed to face her after everything I did. I grab lunch from the caf and almost eat there when I see Owen getting two lunches and guessing that the second lunch is for Clare I decide to follow him. He goes out to the football bleachers where Clare is waiting. They're sitting in the top left corner so I sit on the grass under the bleachers far enough to the other side that that they can't see me.

"What's wrong?" He asks Clare, I try to look through the bleacher seats to see her but I can only see her shoes and legs.

"I feel like vomiting like always," she responds.

"Well you still need to eat something," Owen says trying to hand her something.

"Owen I don't feel like eating, I feel like vomiting," she argues.

"Yeah but Lucas said you didn't eat breakfast either, at least a little of the yogurt it's protein," Owen persists.

"No it'll just come straight back up and I'll vomit on your shoes. Anyway the baby will take what it needs from me," Clare tells him.

"Yeah I know but you didn't eat much yesterday either and you're looking kind of pale again," Owen says and I can hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm fine, just didn't sleep much last night," she responds.

"Then you should have woken me up," he comments.

"You were sleeping at home last night I wasn't going to wake you up, anyway I was just stressing about seeing Drew today," she replies and I get stabbed by guilt. "I just want to lay down a minute," she tells him.

"You want to go inside?" Owen asks.

"No, I like the fresh air," she replies.

"Here," Owen says taking off his Ice Hounds jacket for her to use as a pillow or blanket. For the rest of lunch I eat while watching them, or as much of them as I can see but Clare just sleeps all through lunch and all through her spare after lunch. Owen and I both have a spare after lunch too so I just stay watching them since he stays with her too. "Come on the bells going to ring soon, I'll take you to class and grab your books from your locker," he tells her waking her up.

"Class? You mean I slept all the way through lunch and spare?" She asks with a yawn.

"Yeah but I figured you needed it, how do you feel?" Owen queries as she stands but she starts to fall, Owen catches her. "I told you to eat," he scolds her.

"I'm okay just fatigued," she responds.

"Here take your yogurt, eat it before the bell you need some food in you and I'm going to make sure Lucas feeds you when you get home," he tells her.

I watch them walk down the bleachers, I can see her eating her yogurt as she walks, I hide so they won't see me and then follow them inside. She eats her yogurt before they get to her native studies class and she tosses the container as they pass a trashcan. Owen hands her a bottle of water and she takes a few sips.

"I could text Dave to bring me my backpack," she says to Owen when they reach the door for her native studies class.

"No I'm the boyfriend I'll get it," Owen asserts.

She glances in my direction and then grabs Owen by his team jacket, puts a hand at the back of his neck, grazing her nails on the back of his head. She closes the gap between them and joins their lips, she kisses him hard, his hand goes to the small of her back and I feel my fists clenching. I can just see her lips parting and his tongue going in, she stands on her tiptoes deepening the kiss and they linger like that for over a minute.

"Be right back," Owen tells her with a goofy carnal grin on his face.

That should be my grin! That should have been my kiss! And if I hadn't screwed everything up it probably would have been. I screwed up and I lost her. I unclench my fists and turn to walk to geography, a class I have with Owen, this should be fun.

**Update next Tuesday starting from around here in Owen pov in class and sleeping at Clare's again.**


	8. I Should Not Have Let You Go

**Rant with me on twitter everyone! Halawen_DFF**

**Ch. 8 I Should Not Have Let You Go**

**(OWEN)**

After dropping Clare at class I walk to geography and find Drew already at his desk. Which happens to be right next to mine, he's sort of glaring at me but he looks ashamed too, which is good because he should be ashamed for what he did to Clare.

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" Drew whispers leaning over to my desk.

"You went nuts and got yourself sent off. You've been gone for eight weeks a little late to be asking that now isn't it?" I question. Okay I'm egging him on but I want him to get jealous and realize he's been an idiot.

"She's my girlfriend," Drew growls loudly, "and she's carrying my child," he whispers into my ear since other people are in the class now.

"Well you've got one out of two right, she's not your girlfriend anymore," I remind him.

Bianca comes in and sits down, the teacher begins class and Drew doesn't say anything else. When class lets out I don't want to get into with Drew so I leave quickly and go pick up Clare from her native studies class.

"It's working, he's jealous," I tell her in a low voice as we walk to the front.

"He doesn't seem very jealous he's been avoiding me all day," she sighs.

"I have to swing home for a change of clothes but I'll be over by 6:30," I comment when I open the door for her to get in Lucas' car.

Clare smiles and I watch them drive off before I walk to the bus for practice. Dallas says Drew was talking about Clare a lot and warns me again that he might try and get back together with her. I only shrug again. Practice was pretty rough, coach worked us hard; when the bus takes us back to school I hop straight in my car and drive home. Mom has dinner ready and I'm starving so I sit down to eat.

"Sleeping at Clare's again," I tell mom with my mouth full.

"You're always sleeping at Clare's," Tris rolls his eyes.

"Owen don't talk with your mouth full," Mom scolds.

As soon as I'm done with dinner I pack a bag and say goodbye to my family and head to Lucas' place. Lucas lets me in, he has to go pretty soon and I tell him I already ate before going up to Clare's room.

"How you feeling?" I ask her.

She's sitting on her bed doing homework, leaning back against the headboard with her laptop on a bed tray and a wireless keyboard on her lap.

"Not bad, I ate all my dinner and it hasn't come back up," she tells me.

"Good," I smile sitting on the bed and getting out my homework.

We work in silence for about an hour until Lucas tells us he's going to work. He kisses Clare's cheek and we say goodnight to him. Clare finishes her homework and then grabs her pajamas from the closet.

"I'm going to take a shower," she says.

"Okay," I nod.

Clare walks off to the shower and I continue with my homework, Clare returns wearing her pajamas, a light blue tank top that is not supporting her breasts. She's also got on light blue pajama bottom shorts and she's chewing on her lower lip for some reason.

"You feeling alright?" I question.

"Mmhmm," she replies.

"You don't sound alright," I comment, "are you in pain?"

"No," she shakes her head; she gets in the bed and covers up.

"I know," I remark setting my book down, "you're horny again."

"You don't have to take care of me again," she says but doesn't look like she means a word of it, especially as her legs open a little when I pull down the blankets.

"Really it's not a hardship, I told you I would," I grin, I would feel guilty but Clare is hot and I like getting her off.

"I know but Drew's back and…" she stops pulling a breath in through her teeth as I hook my fingers into the waistband of her shorts.

"Yes and I think he's jealous and coming around," I comment pulling her shorts down a little, "but you're horny and Drew's not here. Besides think how much more guilty he'll feel when he finds out you were horny and he hadn't come round yet to take care of you."

"Drew better come around soon," she says taking her shorts off for me and then her panties, "or I'm going to lose my resolve and make love to you," she adds under her breath as I go between her legs but I hear her.

I grin and slip my tongue into her and she moans gripping my hair. I grasp her hips as she starts to squirm, my tongue licking around her heated core. She tastes like chocolate and strawberries tonight, last time she tasted like sugar cookies. Clare moans her waist and hips gyrating against me, I can tell she's getting close and I let go of her hips, my thumb pressing against her clit and she moans louder. Her body tenses and she screams out when she climaxes. I help her ride out her orgasm before removing my tongue.

"Feeling better?" I inquire licking my lips.

"Yes but if Drew does come around this is going to be hard to explain," she says.

"No it won't, he left you and I stepped in, just more for him to be ashamed about," I shrug.

Clare giggles and I get back to my homework. Clare gets tired and goes to bed pretty early, I finish my homework and get into my bed already set up on her floor. I wake up some hours later when I hear a crashing sound in the washroom. Evelyn has her own and it's only 1am so Lucas isn't home yet. I jump up and run out to the washroom knocking on the door.

"Clare?" I hear movement and after a few seconds she opens the door. "What's wrong?" I ask noticing that she's clutching her upper stomach.

"I'm okay, it's just heartburn I think, I vomited a bit, guess dinner isn't sitting so well with me after all," she tells me.

"You look a little pale," I remark.

"Got a little dizzy," she responds and then scrunches her face as if in pain.

"I think I should take you to the hospital," I tell her picking her up.

"Owen you're overreacting, I'm okay heartburn and dizziness are all part of being pregnant," Clare argues.

"And you just looked like you were in pain," I point out.

"Heartburn, can you take me back to bed now?" She requests turning off the washroom light.

"Fine but if you get any worse I'm taking you in," I tell her firmly.

I put her back in bed and grabbing my comforter from the floor and lay down next to her.

"What are you doing?" She questions.

"Keeping an eye on you," I reply.

She doesn't argue, just turns on her side with her back to me and falls asleep after a short time. When she's asleep again I fall asleep but I'm on alert for the rest of the night.

**(DREW)**

I'd spent all morning watching Clare with Owen, he was constantly around her, picking her up from class, carrying her backpack, getting books from her locker. I hated how he was always around her, I hated even more that I didn't have the courage to talk to her still. I tried; I got about ten paces from her and turned around. Now it was lunch time and I was watching Clare and Owen eating on the bleachers. Only Clare doesn't seem to be eating much and then she throws up, which was unpleasant to watch as it falls through the bleachers. Then Clare suddenly goes limp! Owen picks her up and she becomes conscious as he's carrying her.

"Where are we going?" She asks putting her arms around his neck ad they approach the picnic table.

"I'm taking you home," Owen responds as they walk past me and Owen shoots me a look.

Clare doesn't seem to argue and as I turn to watch them walk to the parking lot Bianca appears. She sits on the picnic table next to me and watches Owen carry her to his car.

"Is she okay?" I question.

"I don't think the pregnancy is going very well," Bianca says.

"What do you mean it's not going well?"

"According to Owen she's been throwing up, getting dizzy, passing out. She passed out in school the other day. She was in a lot of pain after her first prenatal, of course that might have something to do with the fact that she had a speculum and the doctor's hand shoved up inside her. Owen got mad at him and made sure she didn't have that doctor the last time," Bianca comments.

"What do you mean the pregnancy isn't going well? Is Clare going to be okay? The baby? How bad is it?" I question in one breath.

"Why don't you get over yourself and talk to her! Obviously you still love the girl," Bianca suggests.

"Yeah, thanks Bianca got to talk to a few other people first," I tell her and run inside to find my brother. He's in the auditorium helping Eli with his play and everything stops when I burst in. "Excuse me I need to borrow my brother a minute," I announce dragging Adam off Eli cock an eyebrow at me but only shrugs and gets back to work.

"Okay what's up?" Adam inquires when we're in the music room and I've locked the door.

"Clare's pregnant and it's mine," I confess.

For a second he just stares at me, then my brother curls up his fist and punches me right in the eye! To be fair I deserved it.

"YOU BROKE UP WITH HER BECAUSE YOU GOT HER PREGNANT!" Adam yells at me. "You couldn't be a man so you got all pissed at yourself and made life miserable for the rest of us! You bloody moron! You've done a lot of stupid crap before but really Drew?! You were in love with Clare and you left her as soon as you found out she was pregnant didn't you?!"

Adam has that look in his eye that I didn't want to see, that look of anger and deep disappointment and shame. Worst part is I know I deserve every ounce of it.

"I know Adam; I was beyond a moron, a terrible horrible pig. I found out she was pregnant and I just freaked out. We always used protection and I was convinced the baby wasn't mine at first."

Before I can say anything else Adam speaks up, "Clare would never cheat."

"I know Adam, I was angry and scared, I didn't know what to do and I flipped out. I was angry, at everything really but I'm still in love with Clare, I want her back and I want to raise the baby with her. I know I screwed up and I know she's dating Owen but I'm still in love with her and I will do anything to get her back. I'm going to make it right Adam," I promise my brother.

"Good, Clare needs you, needs us. This explains a lot actually although I'm still angry that neither of you told me," Adam grumbles.

"Sorry Adam, I didn't want you to hate me and I don't know what she was thinking," I reply.

"A baby's going to be a lot of work you know," Adam tells me.

"I know but it's worth it, I'm in love with Clare, she's all I thought about for weeks. I gotta go talk to Mom, Clare's living with Lucas and I think she should live with us, or I should live there but I don't want to be apart from her anymore," I tell him and Adam smiles.

"Now you sound like the brother I look up to. Go talk to Mom," Adam tells me his grin getting a little bigger.

I smile at brother and leave school, getting in my car and driving home. Dad's of course at work but I know Mom is home, she looks surprised to see me when I come in but I am supposed to be at school.

"Andrew what are you doing home?" Mom questions.

"I need to talk to you, it's really important," I respond.

"So important that you left school and what happened to your eye?" Mom asks looking at my eye which just now starts to throb. "Did you get in a fight?"

"Not exactly, Adam hit me," I inform her.

"What? Why would your brother hit you?" Mom asks getting an ice pack from the freezer so I can put it on my eye.

"I deserved it Mom. Clare is pregnant, I freaked out when I found out and broke up with her," I admit.

"Andrew Torres how could you do such a thing? How could you be so heartless? Breaking up with your pregnant girlfriend! When did you two start having sex?"

"Months ago but we always used condoms. When Clare told me I just lost it, I was scared and angry that it happened and I took my anger out on her. I broke up with her and told her it wasn't mine and it was her problem. I know what I did was terrible but I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, I want her back Mom. Her mom kicked her out and she's living at a friend's but I want to be with her and I want our baby to be raised by us. I want her to move in," I inform my mom.

"Well," Mom says slowly like she's still processing all the information. "I'm very disappointed in you for your behavior these last couple of months but I can at least understand where it was coming from. I am proud of you for finally doing the right thing and taking responsibility. I agree that Clare should move in here, especially if Helen kicked her out which isn't too surprising. I'll call your father, maybe we can move Dallas into your room and convert the basement into a little apartment for the two of you and the baby after it's born. I'm not a babysitting service though, and you'll need to get a part time job to help with finances," Mom informs me.

"Yes ma'am whatever it takes," I smile. I don't care what it takes; I will move mountains if it means I get Clare back and she can move in and we can raise the baby together.

"Alright get back to school and I'll call your father," Mom tells me.

"Thanks Mom," I grin.

I hug her tightly and then go out to my car driving back to school; it's my spare right now so I stay on the steps waiting to hear from Mom. She calls about half an hour later. She says Dad agreed Clare should move in, she can move in right away but the basement won't be ready until this weekend and we'll need lots of help. I'm sure Adam will help, probably Dallas too and Bianca and a few of our other friends. Owen maybe, if he's still my friend. Maybe even Lucas will help. I've still got fifteen minutes before class and Owen's on his spare too, assuming he's back at school. I go looking for him in all his usual spots and find him with Bianca and my brother in the memorial garden.

"Hey Owen I need to talk to you," I tell him.

Bianca and Adam already know that Clare is pregnant and I figure that Dallas will find out anyway.

"Okay what's up?" He questions.

"Look I know you two are dating now but I'm still in love with Clare. I want her back and that's my baby she's carrying s…"

"Whoa! Baby?" Dallas interrupts; I ignore him and keep talking.

"She should be with me; we're going to raise the baby together. Mom and Dad said she could move in. I know you're going out with her but that's my baby. I messed up I know but I'll make it up to her. I know you care about her bu…"

"Dude stop," Owen laughs, "we aren't really dating."

"WHAT?!" Adam and Dallas exclaim at the same time.

"What the hell do you mean you weren't really dating?" I question.

"It was all a rouse to make you jealous and make you realize you were being an idiot. It took you fucking long enough to come around though, Clare was beginning to think you'd never come around," Owen says.

"Dammit, I'd kill you if I wasn't so relieved right now. Thanks for looking out for her but I need her back; I have to be the one that's with her. She's moving in, oh and Dallas you're moving into my room, we're converting the basement into an apartment for us," I inform my billet brother.

"Okay, I'm still working on the fact that Clare's pregnant and Owen was fake dating her," he responds and Bianca laughs as the bell rings for class.

"Come on boys we have geography," Bianca comments pulling at me and Owen.

"Yeah and we have native studies, I'll make sure and get Clare's homework," Adam remarks.

"I'll take it to her I need to talk to her after school anyway," I speak up. We wave to Adam and Dallas then the three of us walk to geography. "How bad is it?" I ask Owen when we sit at our desks.

"How bad is what? And what the hell happened to your eye?" Owen questions.

"Adam punched me when I told him everything," I reply.

"Good," Bianca comments.

"How bad is Clare? I saw her throw up and pass out," I tell Owen.

"Yeah it's been pretty rough, she's been pale, dizzy, throwing up, passing out. She tells me it's all part of the…" Owen stops before he says pregnancy as other kids come in the room, "it, but frankly dude I'm worried."

I sit back in the chair with a sigh; I've been spending the last ten weeks pissed at the world and ashamed while Clare's been suffering through a pregnancy. I watch the clock, waiting for the bell to ring so I can go talk to Clare.

**(CLARE)**

"Hey," Lucas says poking his head into my room, "you have a visitor."

I expect it to be Owen, perhaps Bianca or possibly Adam but I almost choke when I see Drew come in the room.

"Hi," he says with a nervous grin, "brought your homework."

"Holler if you need me," Lucas tells me before closing the bedroom door.

"Drew wha…" I start to say but he's suddenly next to me on the bed, he cups my face and overtakes my lips before I can ask what happened to his eye.

The second his lips touch mine I melt, it's a feeling of coming home, that my lips were only ever mean to touch his. I grip his shirt, pulling him to me a little more, wanting to feel all of him that I can. His other hand rests on my hip, my lips part, my tongue seeking out his, feeling it, caressing it, tasting him and knowing that I'm not dreaming like I have so many time before. It's several minutes before our lips part, only parting for need air and my eyes opening to lock onto his.

"I'm still in love with you Clare; I was always in love with you. I know I screwed up and I know you have every reason to hate me but I am still in love with you. This baby is ours, it belongs to us and it should be raised by the two of us, besides which I know you and Owen weren't really dating," he tells me with a grin and I smile sheepishly biting my lip.

"It was his idea, he thought you'd come around in a couple of days. What took you so long?" I question gripping him tightly as part of me still worries that this is just a dream.

"Sorry I was angry, but not at you, at me, and the whole situation. I couldn't talk you, I was too afraid, I was terrible to you and you have every right to hate me," he says.

"I don't hate you, I was worried about you. Worried that you were so angry and that you hated me," I respond.

"No," Drew shakes his head brushing a curl behind my ear, "I could never hate you Clare. I hated myself, I hated the whole situation and the thought of Adam hating me and my parent's disappointment but I could never hate you. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me but I am now. I know you're not really dating Owen and I want you to move in with me. My mom, Dad and Adam all want you to move in too, you can stay in my room with me for now but we're going to convert the basement into an apartment," Drew informs me.

"You've already told your parents? And Adam?" I question.

"Yeah Adam hit me but he calmed down," Drew says.

"That's what happened to your eye then," I comment.

"Yeah, I'm okay and I deserved it. Mom was pretty disappointed and angry too but she was glad I was coming around and doing the right thing. She called Dad and they both want you to move in. You should be with me, not here, move in with me and I promise to spend every day making up to you how horrible I was and taking excellent care of you," Drew proclaims.

"Do you mean it Drew? You have to mean it Drew, this kid isn't going to go away, you can't change your mind, y…" Drew cuts me off with a kiss before I can say anything else.

He lingers in the kiss; it's a little harder and a little more passionate than the last one. He takes his lips from mine slowly, his lips wear a soft grin and his eyes lock with mine showing nothing but love.

"I mean every word of it Clare; I was an idiot, more than an idiot, an enormous self-absorbed moron. Please move in with me and let me make it up to you. Let me prove to you that I can be a man worthy of you and our child. Can you ever forgive me Clare?"

"Yes but you have a lot of making up to do," I tell him.

"I know I do," he nods.

"And I have to tell you something but remember what a complete imbecilic cretin you were being," I comment and Drew nods. "Owen's been sleeping here," I tell him.

"I know," he speaks up before I can continue; "I thought you were sleeping together at first but then Owen told me it was all fake."

"We never had sex but part of being pregnant means my hormones are raging and Owen ate me out a couple of times," I confess and Drew goes a little red.

"How many is a couple?"

"Just twice and you can't get that mad, you left me pregnant and alone and Owen stepped in," I remind him.

"I know, I guess it's better than you two having sex," Drew says but I can tell he's still angry. "I should have been here not him but I will be here from now on. Come on let's get you home," Drew comments pulling me up from the bed.

"I'll go tell Lucas. Guess this means Owen doesn't need to sleep over tonight," I remark.

Drew sort of growls putting his arms around me from behind and interlacing our fingers, "The only arms you'll ever be sleeping in again are mine."

"I never slept in his arms Drew; he only slept over because he was worried about me being alone at night. I passed out and hit my arm on the sink. Lucas works night and Evelyn is usually deep in sleep, Owen slept over in case anything happened I wouldn't be alone. He took care of my other needs exactly twice and as nice as it was I wished it was you the whole time," I tell him turning my head to kiss his cheek and he grins.

"Go talk to Lucas I'll start packing you up," Drew says letting go of me.

"Everything okay?" Lucas asks when I come downstairs; he's on the sofa watching TV.

"Yeah Drew apologized and he knows that he has a lot to make up for. He, and his whole family, want me to move in with them."

"Good you should be there; can I have a chat with him now? I want him to know if he ever does something so stupid again I'll break him in half," Lucas comments getting off the sofa.

"I'm pretty sure he knows that, he's packing me up now. You and Evelyn have been extremely kind to me and I don't think I can ever pay you back," I tell him.

"It was nice having you here; anyway I had my own screw up to pay for. C'mon, let's go get you packed up," Lucas smiles hugging me with one arm. We walk upstairs and Drew is still getting clothes in my suitcase, Lucas lets go of me and I know he's going to chat with Drew whether I want him to or not. "Took you long enough to come around, glad you finally did but if you hurt her again…"

"I know you'll rip me head off, so will my family, Owen, Bianca, Eli I'm sure and probably Dallas. Don't worry I learned my lesson; I will never do anything to hurt her like that again. Thanks for taking care of her," Drew says holding his hand out and Lucas shakes it.

Now that they've made peace we finish packing me up. Lucas and Drew get my bags out to the car, I hug Lucas and tell him to say thank you to Evelyn. Drew thanks him again and we get in his car to drive to his house, or should I say home.

"Welcome home Clare," Audra says hugging me when we're inside. "I'm sorry we didn't know until now but you're here now where you belong. The two of you will have to be cramped into Drew's room through the weekend but I called Glen t…"

"You what?" I question worried what my mother may have told him and that Audra may have gotten in a shouting match with my stepfather.

"I was sure that your mother hadn't told him what was going on and I was right, he hadn't a clue. He thought you were living with your dad because you didn't want to be around Jake again. Well anyway he wants to help, he and Jake are coming over this weekend to help us with the basement, getting Dallas moved into Drew's room and Drew and you set up downstairs. We'll be turning downstairs into a studio apartment for you two, of course we have to leave the washer and dryer down there which we all have to use but we'll move the video games and stuff up here," Audra explains.

"Hey," Drew whines.

"Don't worry we'll leave you with a TV but you'll have very little time for playing video games anymore Drew. Now why don't you take Clare's bags upstairs and get her settled, your brother is downstairs doing homework and dinner will be ready in an hour," Audra says.

Drew takes my bags and I follow him upstairs, he drops them on the floor of his room and I take his hand.

"Are you still sure about this?" I question him.

He grins, interlacing our fingers and cupping my face, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Then he abducts my lips in a blistering passionate, tenderly loving kiss. A kiss that I instantly melt into, a kiss that more than words conveys to me how much he loves me, cares for me, how truly sorry he is and how very much he means every single word he said.

**Update next Tuesday picking up from around here, also including the next day at school when everyone else learns she's pregnant and maybe some of the weekend.**


	9. Let the Sun Shine In

**Guest reviewers check my profile page for answers to reviews or contact me through twitter Halawen_DFF**

**Ch.9 Let the Sun Shine In**

**(DREW)**

After getting Clare's bags in my room I grab our backpacks and we go downstairs to do our homework. I never did give Clare her native studies homework but it's still in my backpack.

"Hey I hear you're moving in," Adam remarks when we get down to the basement.

"Yeah I can't believe your mom was okay with it," Clare responds.

"I can, you would have been living here from the start if you'd just told us," Adam says in a slightly scolding voice.

"I know but I didn't want to do that Adam, Drew would have resented me. I didn't want him to be forced into the situation; he had to come around on his own. We all know Audra would have forced him to participate and be around, he was angry enough as it was I couldn't do that to him. I wanted Drew to come around but he had to be ready," she says and I feel even guiltier than before which I didn't think was possible.

"I'm sorry it took me so long Clare," I apologize wrapping my arms around her.

"I'm just glad you did come around," she smiles kissing my cheek.

"Took you long enough though," Adam scolds me.

"I know, I know I have a lot of making up to do but let's start on our homework for now," I request.

Adam goes back to what he was doing and I give Clare her native studies homework while I get out my math homework. Clare ends up helping me with math even though the class is a grade above her but it is basic, at least for her it is. Dallas gets home just before dinner is ready, like always, he comes in through the basement and drops his backpack to the floor.

"Hey Clare, congrats on the baby, I think," Dallas says closing the basement door.

"Now that Drew and I are back together and in this together congrats are in order," she replies with a smile and then mom calls us up for dinner.

Clare stands up and we all start going up the stairs, Dallas is leading followed by Adam and then Clare with me behind her. But she suddenly stops, leaning against the wall and shutting her eyes like she's in pain or something.

"Clare?" I say worried, taking her hand and putting a hand on her shoulder. Dallas and Adam both turn around to look at her and Adam puts a hand on her other shoulder.

"I'm okay," she says but she sounds kind of weak, "just a little…dizzy," she pauses before saying dizzy like she's searching for the right word and dizzy wasn't quite it.

"Is that normal?" Adam inquires.

"Yes, there's a lot going on in my body right now, I'm building a while other life it takes a lot out of me, the doctor said it was all normal," she assures us.

"Let's get some food in you, get some of your strength back," I tell her putting an arm around her in case she falters or passes out.

She makes it to the top of the stairs and my dad hugs her welcoming her to our home and family but I get a very censuring and disappointed look from him. We sit down to eat and Mom starts talking about what to do to the basement for us and the baby. After dinner the four of us kids go downstairs to do more homework, Clare goes for about an hour before curling up to sleep.

"I think I'm going to take her upstairs, put her in my bed in case she gets dizzy again," I tell Adam and Dallas and they nod. "Clare, come on let's go up to our room," I say shaking her lightly.

"Why?" She asks in a lightly groggy voice.

"Because you're falling asleep down here," I reply.

"Come on I'll carry your books," Adam tells her.

She yawns and stands up; I gather my books and the two of us get her up to my room. She lies down falling asleep again almost instantly and I sit on the edge of the bed by her feet.

"Is she okay?" Adam questions.

"She can hear you and she's just tired go finish your homework Adam," Clare comments.

"Okay, call me if you need me, I'm sure Drew will take care of you," Adam says putting a hand on her arm and then leaving my room closing the door as he goes.

I start on my homework but I keep glancing at Clare, what Bianca and Owen said about her having a hard pregnancy and being worried about her ring through my head and I'm worried. I'm nearly done with my homework when Clare suddenly groans and jumps up running out of the washroom. I throw down my book and follow her into the washroom where she loses all of her dinner as she pukes it up in the toilet. I sit behind her and pull her hair away from her face, rubbing her back gently.

"Are you okay?" I ask when she's done.

She leans against the wall, and looks at me with these sad sallow eyes that just break my heart. "I'm okay, it's just morning sickness, it can come at any time of day," she informs me.

She starts to stand and I grab onto her helping her up, she links her arms around my neck and puts her head on my chest, she feels weak, kind of shaking and her heart, beating against my chest, seems to be beating really fast. I remember what Owen said about her getting dizzy and everything. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her into the bedroom again laying her on the bed.

"You should get back to sleep," I tell her brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"I'm not so tired anymore; could you get me some water to wash out this taste in my mouth please?" She requests.

"Of course, I'll be right back just don't do anything," I say going out of the room. I go downstairs and get a glass filling it with water from the pitcher in the fridge. Mom and Dad are watching the news in the living room and I almost go back upstairs but then I stop. "Hey Mom," I say and she looks back at me, "did you get sick when you were pregnant? I mean did you get morning sickness even at night?" I ask her.

"Not at night but well into the afternoons, especially for the first couple of months, I barely at a thing until I was four months along. Why, did Clare throw up?" Mom queries.

"Yeah," I nod.

"Perfectly normal dear, I'll make her some peppermint tea," Mom tells me.

I nod and go back upstairs taking Clare her water, she's sitting up and she's regained some color which is good. I hand her the water and she smiles taking several sips before setting the glass on the nightstand.

"Thanks," she grins.

"You sure you're okay?" I ask her again.

"I'm okay Drew it's just part of the pregnancy, anyway I've got some homework to finish," she says grabbing her book.

I'm not sure I believe her but I get my books and start back up on my homework, Mom comes in a few minutes later with some tea for Clare telling her it will help with her stomach. She sips at the tea slowly while finishing her homework but she's tired when we're done, Adam comes in to say goodnight and we get ready for bed. Clare decides to sleep in one of my shirts, I don't mind at all as she looks quite sexy in my shirts. She gets in my bed rolling on her side; I get in on my back and put my arm out. She lies with her head on my chest and her arm draped across me, I wrap my arm around her.

"I love you Clare and I'm very sorry," I tell her, stroking her back.

"I know Drew and I love you too," she whispers against my chest.

She soon falls asleep again but I stay awake for a while, worried about Clare and our baby, full of guilt for leaving her and not being able to face this from the beginning. After a while exhaustion takes over and I drift to sleep. We wake up to my alarm the next morning, Clare is still in my arms and I kiss her gently, caressing her face.

"You're still here, I thought I was dreaming," she grins opening her eyes to look at me.

"No I'm still here, I'm never leaving you again," I assure her.

She sits up and stretches, we get out of bed and get ready for school before going downstairs for breakfast.

"How are you feeling Clare?" Mom asks.

"Pretty good this morning, not so nauseas yet but that could change," she replies but with a smile.

"I made you toast with fruit for breakfast and some more tea," Mom tells her.

"Thanks Audra," she grins.

Mom smiles and strokes her hair, Dallas and Adam are already at the table and they are stuffing themselves with bacon and eggs. I also fill my plate with bacon and eggs, scarfing it down too while Clare eats a piece of toast and a little melon, she does drink all of her tea though. I drive the four of us to school after breakfast and Clare sits up front. Owen and Bianca are on the steps when we get to school; Bianca hugs Clare before kissing Dallas.

"How are you feeling?" Bianca asks Clare.

"Better than yesterday," Clare replies taking my hand and I put my arm around her.

"Yeah well it only took Drew two months and being sent several hundred miles away to come around," Bianca comments.

"I know I screwed up but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her," I reply turning Clare to me and capturing her lips.

"Hey are you guys back together?" Becky asks and I look at Adam amazed that he hadn't said anything yet. Guess Dallas didn't tell the team either because Luke is with her and looking just as curious.

"Yes we're back together, we never should have broken up and she wasn't really dating Owen, they were faking to make me jealous. I freaked out was so angry because I couldn't handle the fact that Clare is pregnant. But I am happy about it now, she's moving in and we're raising the baby together," I announce.

"Wow that was a lot of information so early in the morning," Luke remarks.

"Oh congratulations you're going to have a baby, I'm so happy you're back together! Oh I love babies, I'll be happy to babysit," Becky squeals hugging us both tightly.

"Whoa Becks slow down she's only umm…" Adam pauses looking at Clare.

"Thirteen weeks pregnant, I just started my second trimester," Clare informs everyone.

"So you broke up with Owen then?" Luke asks still confused.

"We were never really dating," Owen clarifies but Luke still looks confused so Owen looks at Clare with a grin. "Told you it would work," he says winking at Clare.

"Yeah a little too well, I think I owe you a punch or two," I comment to Owen.

"Yeah probably, let's go inside," Owen says quickly, moving behind Dallas before I can follow through.

All of us move inside now, we walk to Clare and Adam's lockers. Becky and Luke go to their lockers across the hall and they all start getting out books. When they're done we go to the senior lockers and the rest of us open our lockers. Now that we all have our books we all walk out to the foyer and sit on the steps. Clare sits on the step below me and leans against me with my arms around her.

"Weren't you dating my brother yesterday?" Tris inquires coming up with Maya, Cam, Tori and Zig.

"Actually we were faking Tris, we were never really dating," Owen informs his brother.

"I'm confused," Zig says sitting down, as do the other niners.

"We were trying to make Drew jealous," Owen says.

The niners are still confused so we go over the whole story again; I have a feeling we'll be doing a lot of that today. When the bell rings I walk Adam and Clare to their homeroom, they have the same one. I kiss Clare at the door and then walk to math, a class I have with Jake.

"So she's really pregnant?" Jake asks when I sit down.

"Yeah she's pregnant, thirteen weeks, Helen kicked her out the second she found out, disowned her for it," I growl.

"Helen's a bitch but you turned your back on her the second you found out," Jake counters.

Ouch! Right in the feel bads. "I know, I screwed up too, believe me I know. This isn't an excuse but I'm just a kid and I was scared and angry. We always used protection I just couldn't handle the thought of being a father. I did a terrible thing by abandoning her but I know I screwed up, I will never do it again and I'll spend the rest of my life making it right. Helen doesn't care at all she just kicked Clare out, told her she wasn't her daughter anymore."

"Dad and me are coming over for dinner tomorrow night to show you guys plans for the basement. Helen may have turned her back on Clare but we haven't." Jake says and I smile. "I just wish she would have told me," he adds under his breath but I hear him.

Plenty of other people in the class heard him say Clare was pregnant but it doesn't matter we're telling everyone today anyway. The bell rings and Armstrong starts class, then a student comes in and hands Armstrong a note.

"Mr. Torres, Principal Simpson would like to see you," he says and the class makes noises like I'm in trouble.

I leave class and start walking to the principal's office, Clare appears from around a corner. "Hey what are you doing out of class?" I ask her.

"Principal Simpson wanted to see me," she tells me.

"Yeah me too," I comment holding the note in my hand.

"He must have heard about my pregnancy," she remarks.

We get to Simpson's office and the secretary waves us in, we go to the door and Simpson motions for us to come in and I close the door. We sit down and I take Clare's hand.

"I heard some rumors spreading around school that you were pregnant Clare," Simpson says and I squeeze her hand.

"She is, the child is mine, she's living with us now," I speak for both of us.

"It's true Sir, I was never dating Owen and Drew just needed some time. We're together again and we're raising the child together. Audra and Omar let me move in, they're making some changes to the basement to make it an apartment for us," Clare informs him.

"Good I'm glad to hear it, I just need to know because word will get out and some parents will be concerned. Also as you get farther along you'll probably need some special considerations. How far along are you?" Simpson asks her and I actually feel proud because I know the answer.

"Thirteen weeks," she tells him.

"What about your parents Clare?" Simpson asks and she tenses up, I kiss her temple and squeeze her hand a little more.

"My mom kicked me out and disowned me when she found out, no one in my family is involved," she informs him.

"I just talked to Jake, he might be," I speak up.

"Do you think your mom might try and hurt you?" Simpson questions and now I tense up.

"I think she never wants to see me again," Clare says.

"Okay, I'll inform all your teachers, both of you, of Clare's pregnancy. You two can return to class," Simpson tells us, we smile at him, get up and walk out of the office.

"Do you want me to walk you to class?" I ask Clare.

"No I'll see you at lunch," she replies and then grips my shirt and kisses me.

"I love you," I tell her as she walks down the hall to her class.

She turns back and smiles at me, "I love you Drew."

**(CLARE)**

"I have to use the washroom, I'll meet you in parenting class," I tell Adam when homeroom lets out.

"You alright?" Adam questions.

"I have to pee Adam, not throw up," I reply.

"Okay see you in class," he smiles and walks off.

I walk to the girl's washroom but it's full so I go to the one closer to the office. After I'm done and I'm leaving the washroom I see Eli at the secretary's desk.

"Running late?" I tease.

"Therapy this morning," Eli explains, "what happened to you yesterday, you weren't here after lunch and Adam wouldn't tell me why."

"I got sick at lunch and Owen took me home," I reply.

"But you're okay now?" Eli asks.

"Yes but I'm pregnant," I reveal and Eli's eyes get wide, his mouth dropping open.

"You're…is it Owen's?" Eli inquires seeming to struggle with the concept that I'm pregnant.

"No it's Drew's child and I was never really dating Owen, it was a rouse Owen thought Drew would get jealous a…"

"Hold it," Eli interrupts me, "you've been pregnant this whole time? Drew knew and he was angry about it, he hit you and threw a planter through your window. He was drinking and all that and you want him back?"

"I still love Drew, he didn't take the news well, he freaked out and had a lot of anger he needed to deal with. He didn't mean to hurt me Eli; you've been in a bad place before too and done things you weren't proud of. Drew apologized Eli, he feels bad and he knows he has a lot to make up for but he wants me, and our child. I'm living at his house now, Audra and Omar and going to turn the basement into an apartment for us. If I can forgive Drew then so can you," I assert.

"I still think it's rotten that he walked out on you but I guess he did come around. He better not screw up again though," Eli says as we start walking to our classes. "Hey if you were going to fake date someone why wasn't it me?"

"Eli!"

"What? I'd think that would have driven Drew crazier than you and Owen," Eli comments with a smirk just as we arrive at my class.

I laugh and go into class sitting at the table with Owen and Luke because I'm used to doing so now.

"What was that about?" Owen asks.

"Eli found out I was pregnant," I reply.

"Clare you're pregnant!" Connor exclaims walking into class.

"Yes Connor, the baby is Drew's we're back together and I was never really dating Owen," I tell him quickly.

"And she's moving in," Adam speaks up.

The teacher comes in and we have to read in our text book and listen to the teacher give a lecture which is boring. I'm so bored that I'm actually glad when the bell rings for lunch even though I'm not hungry. I walk out of class with Owen, Adam, Luke, Becky and Connor, we start heading for the caf finding Drew and Bianca coming out of their business leadership class. Drew puts his arms around me and gives me a gentle kiss.

"Let's go to the Dot for lunch," Drew offers.

"Sure but I'm not very hungry," I reply.

"Doesn't matter you need you eat something," Owen says.

All of us walk to the Dot grabbing Dallas and even Eli, Dave and K.C. on the way. We take over most of the café, I order a salad and ginger ale but don't eat all that much. Drew and Owen tell K.C. and Dave all about my pregnancy and the fake relationship and everything. After we eat we walk back to school, hanging out in the courtyard, Drew and most of the other guys eventually get a football and start passing it around while Becky, Adam, Eli and I sit on the picnic tables.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jake asks suddenly from my side.

"I didn't tell anyone Jake, anyway what would it have mattered there's nothing you can do," I comment.

"I could talk to your mom, I could have helped," Jake says.

"Talking to my mom won't do anything; she's already made up her mind. There's nothing for you to help with Jake. I was living with Lucas now I'm moving in with Drew; we're going to raise the baby together. Mom already made her position clear, besides you're already helping by working on the basement with your dad this weekend," I point out.

"I still wish you had told me, I'm your brother," Jake says sitting down.

"She didn't even tell me and my brother is the one that got her pregnant," Adam comments.

"She didn't tell me either but she told Owen." Eli complains.

"I didn't tell Owen he figured it out, we both told Bianca when she started freaking out on us that we were going out, which we weren't. We had to tell her what was going on," I tell them.

"Dad and I will be over tomorrow night to go over the plans for the basement, your mom isn't coming though," Jake tells me.

"Good," I reply as the bell rings.

Some people start heading inside but Drew, Owen, Adam, Bianca, Dallas and I all have a spare period right now. We remain on the picnic table and I lean against Drew, I love the feeling of being back in his arms. Inhaling his scent and feeling his chest as it breathes, for a while I thought I might never feel these things again. Owen is great but I'm in love with Drew and nothing beats being in the arms of the one you love.

"So are you going to have a baby shower and stuff?" Bianca asks.

"Mom will make sure she has a baby shower," Adam says.

"So what are you hoping for, boy or girl?" Adam inquires.

"Honestly I wasn't even sure I was going to keep the baby, I really haven't thought about it," I respond.

"Both are kind of scary, little girls are probably easier, Adam and I got in all kinds of trouble when we were little trying to jump off the roof to be Super Man and other stupid shit. Then again teenage girls scare me but I'll be happy as long as it's healthy," Drew replies and I kiss his jaw.

Talk turns to hockey because Owen and Dallas play in the championship game next week. I start to fall asleep in Drew's arms but the bell rings all too soon. Since Dallas and I both have native studies next and Drew has geography with Owen and Bianca, Drew kisses me before we go back into school. A lingering kiss that makes my lips spark and ignites the fires of lust in my loins. As we're walking to class I start to feel woozy, my vision goes a little blurry and I feel like my heart is pounding. I don't quite feel like throwing up but if this sensation doesn't stop I might vomit. It gets to the point where I can hardly see or walk and I grip onto Dallas' arm making him look at me.

"You alright?" He asks and I nod. "Yeah I don't believe you," he replies.

He moves in front of me, bends down a little and picks me up by the legs so he's giving me a piggyback. I gasp and throw my arms around his neck, the bouncing sensation of the piggyback ride only makes the woozy sensation worse but he takes me all the way to class and I'm glad I'm not walking.

"Don't tell me you broke up with Drew again and you're dating Dallas now," Dave remarks when we come into class.

"No just giving her a piggyback, she wasn't looking so well," Dallas tells him.

"Are you okay Clare?" Becky asks worried.

"I'm fine, just a bit dizzy it's perfectly normal," I assure them.

We sit down and class starts, with time the feeling goes away and by the bell I feel normal again. Dallas, Dave and Becky still walk out of class on either side of me, Dallas keeping one hand on my opposite shoulder, his arm lightly draped across my back like he's waiting to catch me if I fall.

"Hey Gorgeous," Drew smiles when we meet up with him, Owen and Bianca.

"She got dizzy or something earlier, keep an eye on her," Dallas tells Drew.

"She's been getting dizzy or something a lot," Owen speaks up.

"Maybe we should take you back to the doctor," Drew comments in an anxious tone.

"Guys I'm pregnant, I'm building a whole other life, it takes a lot out of a body," I remind them.

"We have to head to practice," Dallas says.

"I'm coming over to do homework so I'll be over when you get home," Bianca tells Dallas.

"Sweet," Dallas grins and takes her by the waist to kiss her.

"I'll check on you after practice," Owen comments giving me a light hug.

We wave to the Ice Hounds, Adam joins us and we drive home with Bianca following. The first that all of us do is get a snack, then we go down to the basement to do homework. Lucas calls to check on me and I tell him about people coming over this weekend to work on the basement, he says he'll be over to help. Dallas brings Owen home with him and Audra orders pizza for all of us for dinner. By the time dinner is done I'm finished with my homework and want a shower, and Drew. I've been horny for the last hour but the basement was full of teenagers. Owen and Bianca both leave after dinner; Dallas has to start on his homework and Eli calls Adam so he disappears into his room.

"I'm kind of tired can we go lay down?" I request of Drew when we're alone with Dallas in the basement.

"Yeah sure," Drew responds closing his book.

We gather our stuff and go up to his room, I drop my stuff on the floor, close and lock his door and put on some music. Drew is sitting sideways on his bed, his legs outstretched and his math book in his lap. I walk over taking the textbook off his lap, straddling his legs and gripping the short hairs at the back of his head. My other hand resting on his shoulder I lure his lips into a feverishly salacious kiss. Drew's hands come to my waist, his lips parting and my tongue slips in, dancing with his tongue. My body moves, undulating above him, yearning to be filled by him, consumed with a desire to feel him. I deepen the kiss and his hands squeeze me just a little tighter, I might never have pulled my lips from his, I was breathing just fine and was relishing the kiss and the feel of his kiss again. Drew however begins to pull away after a few minutes, I don't want to pull out of the kiss and I nip his bottom lip in protest.

"I thought you were tired?" He inquires.

"I lied not tired, horny," I reply kissing him again and running my fingers through his hair as my lips attach to his again but Drew pulls out of the kiss all too fast.

"Okay but don't you think you should…" he starts but I take off my top and kiss him again.

This time I break the kiss, "Talking too much, my hormones are going crazy and I'm horny."

"Yes I can see that," Drew laughs, "you want me to eat you out like Owen did?"

"No you're really my boyfriend I want you to make love to me," I inform him.

"Won't that hurt the baby?" He asks but he's already taking off his shirt.

"Drew I'm thirteen weeks pregnant, our baby is maybe two inches we won't hurt it by making love. No stop arguing I'm pregnant and I want to be made love to," I assert.

"Yes Mistress, you're a lot more demanding when you're pregnant," he chuckles.

I pull at his jeans, opening the fly and yanking them down. Drew kicks off his shoes, sitting to take off his socks, then off comes the rest of his clothes. Now that he's nude, he gets on the bed, crawling over to me, unzipping my skirt and pulling it off my legs. Now he takes off my shoes, his eyes roving over my body and he makes a carnal grin.

"Oh how I missed this body," he smiles his eyes popping with anticipation.

I giggle and pull him down to kiss me; while we're kissing he unhooks my bra and takes it from my body flinging it across the room. His hands grip my breasts, squeezing gently and I moan. Drew rolls my nipples between his fingers until they become hard, he pulls out of the kiss and begins kissing along my neck, down my clavicle and along my side and I giggle. I open my legs, he gets between them, propping himself on his arms and gazing at me. I smile and bite my lip; Drew leans down and kisses my belly very softly, so softly his lips tickle.

"I can't believe there's a little life in there," he says and kisses my belly again.

Drew moves down a little more pulling at my panties, he gets them past my hips and he pauses to lick at my clit. My eyes go half lidded and a shuddering moan comes from my lips. He pulls them down a little more, kissing my inner thighs, I start to twitch, my body writhing in carnal desire and excitement. Finally Drew lifts my legs to pull my panties off all together. I feel him hard now as the head is poking at my pussy lips, I pull in a breath, gripping Drew's lower back as he enters me, thrusting in slowly and we both moan. My legs bend at the knees, my heels digging into the bed and my hips bucking. Drew puts one arm under my lower back, the other being used to keep his weight off me. He starts out slow but now that he's inside me, now that our naked bodies are touching and our hearts beating together we become almost desperate for each other.

Steadily we move faster and faster our bodies moving as one, melding together with the heat we're producing. My nails scratch along his back, our bodies moving in tandem, speeding up together, Drew thrusting deep into me and I moving to take him all in. The build increases, the need to climax becomes almost unbearable. Faster and faster we move, panting with quivering breaths, our bodies trembling and shaking with orgasmic energy. I tense and relax, my body tightening around him until finally I release in climatic eruption! Aware that his family is all home I muffle my orgasmic cry into his shoulder and he does the same only muffling it between my breasts. I go completely still but Drew simply slows down steadily, pulling out only when both our orgasms have dissipated. He pulls out inducing my body to another wave of erotic quaking. I curl on my side and Drew lies on his side next to me, holding me in his arms.

"All better?" He asks and I nod. "Next time you're horny you just need to say so," he grins.

"Everyone was home," I pant trying to catch my breath.

He laughs and kisses my nose, "I love you Clare," he says and then scoots down kissing my belly gently, "and I love you baby."

**Update next Tuesday, possibly with some more sexy time but definitely including the renovation of the basement.**


	10. Darling Please Believe Me

**Ten chapters! Thanks to everyone who reads and especially those that take the time to review.**

**Ch.10 Darling Please Believe Me**

**(DREW)**

"We'll make the laundry closet separate and put in a door here where Dallas' room currently is," Glen tells us. It was Saturday morning, Glen and Jake were here to go over the plans for the basement renovations and we were all sitting around the kitchen table. "That will become the nursery, which will attach by a door to your bedroom, Glen says looking at me and Clare. "To get to the laundry you and Drew will have to go through the nursery, we'll be installing hookups and a washer and dryer up here in the closet behind the kitchen. Now your room and the nursery will be fairly small but at least you'll have privacy while still maintaining the living room and kitchen area."

"It all sounds great, thank you Glen and thank you Jake," Clare smiles.

"We're happy to do it Clare," Glen smiles back.

Neither of them has said a word about Helen since arriving but that's probably for the better.

"We had better get started but Clare you are not allowed to help and you should not be around the loud noises and probably dust," Mom tells her.

"Which is why you're coming with me," Becky informs her and Clare looks a little scared.

"I'll see you later Beautiful," I tell her and take her chin kissing her gently.

"If I can survive a whole day with Becky Baker," she whispers to me before pulling from my embrace.

I kiss her cheek and she stands, after grabbing her purse and coat she says goodbye to everyone else and leaves with Becky. Aside from Glen, Jake, me, Adam, my parents and Dallas several others were here to help including Owen, Lucas, Tris, Luke, Bianca, K.C., Dave, Zig and Cam. We get started right away, first thing to do is get all of my stuff, and the stuff of Clare's that we have here, and get all of it downstairs and outside on the patio so my room is clear. Then we can move Dallas' stuff up to my room and start working on the basement. Glen assures me that with everyone we can get the rooms separated and our stuff moved in today. Jake, Owen, Dallas and I start putting up the wall to what was Dallas's room and will be the nursery.

"So has Helen said anything at all?" I ask Jake.

"No not really and every time we try and bring it up she refuses to talk about it. We kind of just gave up because trying to talk to her was making our lives miserable. Trust me Clare is better off without her mom right now, she could be making Clare's life miserable. You should tell her though that Darcy e-mailed last night and Helen wrote back. I'm not sure what Helen told Darcy, if anything but Clare should probably write to her sister and let her know what's going on from her side," Jake tells me.

"I'll tell her tonight, Darcy should probably know what's going on anyway," I remark.

We manage to get the wall up in about four hours with all of us working on it. It's not a real wall exactly, that is we didn't build bricks floor to ceiling or anything. The wall was fabricated with stud boards and sheets of particle board with sound proofing in between. Glen had put new doors on the laundry closet and better venting to the outside, he'd also set up the new laundry closet upstairs, for the rest of the family, with some help from Dad and Lucas. Everyone else had helped with cleaning or putting on the door between what will be mine and Clare's room and the nursery. We break for lunch and I call Clare to see if she's surviving Becky so far.

"Hey how's it going over there?" She asks.

"Great the nursery is set up, well it doesn't have furniture or anything but it's ready for furniture to go in. The door is up and everything and both laundry closets done, we just took a break to have lunch. Have you killed Becky yet?" I question.

"No, we've been having fun actually. She took me to a spa and we got facials and massages and we just stopped for lunch too. We're going to look at baby stuff after lunch and then go back to her house," she tells me.

"Have fun, I'll see you tonight, I love you," I tell her.

"I love you too," she replies and hangs up.

After lunch it's right back to work, we have one more wall to put up to completely wall off what will become mine and Clare's room. Plus we have to put a door in and get all of our stuff in. We do that first; Glen, Jake, Lucas and Dallas go to Helen's and get all of Clare's stuff out. Meanwhile me and everyone else gets my stuff in the room, the mattress first and then Dallas' dresser since we simply switched dressers. With the mattress in we move in everything else, Clare and I can put it all away later it simply needs to be in from outside right now. Clare and I just need a path to the bed for the moment. Jake and the others return and we get Clare's stuff in, with everything in we start on the final wall and by the time Clare returns we have the door on.

"Wow you guys were busy, our stuff is everywhere but I can tell this is going to be a great little apartment," Clare smiles.

"There's some more work to do, you two have to get all your stuff away and we have lots of finishing touches on but we have tomorrow for that," Glen comments.

"You're all sweaty," Becky complains and shrieks when her brother tries to give her a sweaty hug.

"I like you sweaty," Clare comments fisting my shirt, I grin as she pulls me to her and gives me a wanton kiss.

"It's late everyone get home and get something to eat, thank you all for helping," Mom says to everyone.

Since it's late dad orders some dinner but Clare falls asleep in our bed before dinner ever arrives. I'm sure she's tired from a long day with Becky so I let her sleep and we eat. She's still asleep when I'm done showering and go to bed, I lie on my side and put my arm around her, holding her close and kissing her cheek. She stirs a little but doesn't wake up and I soon fall asleep. I wake up when I feel Clare scramble from the bed, throwing open the door and rushing out to the washroom. I follow her in, brushing her hair back from her face and holding it back. She vomits several times and then flushes the toilet, she props herself against the wall and groans. I run out and get my water bottle from the night stand bringing it to her. She takes several sips and sets it down; she wipes her mouth and then tries to stand but falters doubling over. I grab onto her, putting my arms around her to keep her up and she grips onto me.

"Are you okay?" I ask her in worried voice and she straightens up, erasing all evidence of pain from her beautiful face instantly as if to ease my fears.

"I'm fine Drew, morning sickness that's all and I tried to stand up too fast. I haven't eaten since lunch and I just threw it all up, I got dizzy that's all," she assures me.

"Let's get you back to bed, I know you probably aren't hungry but you should get something in you. Juice or anything, tea and crackers or t…" I'm babbling and she cuts me off with a kiss.

"Let's start with some ginger ale and then if my stomach settles I'll try and eat something," she tells me.

I grin and pick her up in my arms taking her back to bed, I lay her down and tell her to stay then I go upstairs to the kitchen and start looking for ginger ale. But don't find any so I start digging through the pantry and all the cupboards.

"Dude what are you doing?" Dallas questions coming down to the kitchen with a yawn.

"Clare hasn't eaten since lunch and she just threw all of that up, she needs to have something in her and all she wants is ginger ale and I can't find any," I explain while still looking through the cupboards.

"Dude chill!" Dallas says grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the cupboards, "I'll run to the drug store and get some ginger ale for Clare go be with your girl."

"Okay thanks," I smile.

"No problem we'd have to get up soon anyway, tell Clare I just have to throw on some clothes and drive down there, it'll take me maybe fifteen minutes."

I nod and go back downstairs while Dallas goes upstairs to get dressed. "We have no ginger ale, Dallas is going to the store to get some," I tell Clare when I get back to our room.

"He didn't need to do that," she responds.

"You wanted ginger ale, you'll always have everything you want," I tell her lying next to her and putting my hand on her belly.

We stay that way a few minutes but then she moves. "We should probably get dressed and you should eat breakfast," she says kissing me and standing up.

We get dressed and I watch her very closely, Dallas returns and brings Clare down a bottle of ginger ale. She sips at it while the rest of us eat breakfast; she does eat a piece of toast after her ginger ale. People start gathering at the house not long after we've eaten. There are less people today but there is also less to do. Owen, Lucas, Bianca, Eli, Jake and Glen all come over still, and of course everyone who lives here. Mom and Dad have a new washer and dryer for upstairs; Glen and Jake install shelves on the walls in our room and the nursery. Owen and Adam help me and Clare put things away in our room, while everyone else helps to arrange the living room and move out the X-box and video games. The last thing to do is paint but Clare shouldn't be around the paint fumes so it's decided that she'll sleep in Adam's room for a couple of nights and completely avoid the basement until the paint fumes have passed. Adam will sleep on the living room sofa and I'll of course share a bed with Clare. I help Clare upstairs and get her settled with some food while Mom and Glen go to pick out paint colors. Since we don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl they get white and yellow for the nursery. Mom decides on powder blue and white for our room, which is fine with both me and Clare. We get everything painted that night, stopping to eat and when it's done we thank everyone many times for helping.

"You okay, you've been watching Clare closely all day?" Owen asks as we're cleaning up and gathering clothes and essentials for me and Clare.

"Yeah but she was throwing up again this morning, then she got dizzy. I should have been paying attention; I shouldn't have been so caught up in my anger and fears of what my family thought. I'm worried, I know I don't have much experience with pregnancy but this doesn't seem right. She keeps telling me it's normal but I'm worried," I confess to Owen.

"Yeah me too, you should see about getting her to a doctor sooner than her next appointment. I know you feel guilty for how you reacted and how you treated her when you first found out, and you should, but don't wallow in your guilt be there for her now. And if you need help I'm here, our relationship was fake and I always thought of her as your girl but I do care about her," Owen tells me.

"I know and thanks," I smile at my friend, "but I still owe you a punch or two."

Owen laughs and shoves me playfully, we finish gathering what Clare and I need then take it upstairs. Owen says goodnight to Clare and hugs her then me before leaving. Clare and I start getting ready for bed, we say goodnight to my family and Dallas then she goes into the washroom. I wait until she's out to go in and brush my teeth, when I go back to the bedroom Clare is sitting on the end of the bed, her hand to her chest and slightly hunched over.

"Clare?" I ask rushing to her side and kneeling before her.

"I'm alright Drew I just got a little dizzy," she tells me.

"You've been getting dizzy a lot," I tell her brushing a curl behind her ear.

"I'm okay Drew, let's just go to bed," she insists.

She smiles again, forcing it across her face and caressing mine, she's trying to ease my fears and distract me. I scrunch my face at her, I'm sure that something more is wrong but every time I bring it up she says it's stress. When I don't move for a minute she kisses me and I give in. I kiss her temple and turn out the lights, we get into Adam's bed and I wrap her in my arms, afraid to let her go.

**(CLARE)**

"Good luck tonight, we'll be cheering for you in the stands," I say to Owen before he gets on the bus to go to the arena for the championship game, and the last hockey game of the season.

Owen hugs me and gets on the bus then Drew takes my hand and we walk to his car. Everyone was coming to the game tonight since it was the last one; Adam and Becky were riding with us. Bianca was coming of course; even K.C. and Dave were going, along with Tris and Maya. Audra and Omar would be there, as well as Owen's parents Lydia and Ron, and most of the other parents. We had to get there early and then fight through the crowd to find out seats. Drew and I were in the same row as Adam, Becky and Bianca, Drew and I sit on the end, mostly so that I can get out to the washroom should I need to.

It feels like we sit there a very long time before the game actually begins but finally the music starts. The teams skate out, the national anthem plays and the game begins. Owen doesn't play at all in the first period but I enjoy watching Luke, Cam and Dallas none the less. Bianca and Adam go to get popcorn and drinks before second period begins, I'm not hungry but Adam gets me a Sprite and I sip at it. Owen doesn't play in the second period either but the Ice Hounds do get ahead by three points. Before the second period ends I go to use the washroom and Bianca comes with me. In the third period Bo…or Ingvar, I'm still not sure which is which, gets put in the penalty box and suspended from the rest of the game for excessive fighting, which seems like an oxymoron in hockey, and Owen takes his place.

"YAY! OWEN GO OWEN!" I cheer standing up and cheering for my friend.

He looks over at me and waves and I wave back, Drew is laughing as he pulls me back in my seat.

"You're still flirting," he says with a slightly admonishing tone.

"I wasn't flirting, I'm happy for my friend, I love you," I tell Drew.

He grins placing his fingers under my chin and pulling me to him for a soft kiss. "I know that and I love you too," Drew smiles.

I sit watching the game for a few minutes but then Owen scores a goal and I jump up cheering and screaming for him. At least until my heart feels like it's pounding hard and slow but racing all at once, like it's trying to beat through my chest and trying desperately to pump blood. I put my hand on my chest instinctually and sink back into my seat. Drew puts his arm around me and the others are looking at me with concern.

"I'm okay just got…woozy," I tell them, all though woozy seems like the wrong word but I don't think there is one for what I feel.

"Do you want to go home?" Drew asks taking my hand.

I take a deep breath and smile at the man I love, the father of my child, "No Owen is playing and I want to watch, I'm okay honestly I just need to not cheer so hard."

"I'll make sure you stay in your seat," Drew says and kisses my cheek.

Owen scores a second goal and I cheer but not as loud this time. The Ice Hounds win 10-9 and the Ice Hounds fans cheer, when the celebration is over at the arena we return to DeGrassi for even bigger celebration. Our school is decked out in black red and white, everyone is celebrating and the Ice Hounds, when they arrive, are treated like kings. I find Owen, hug him tightly and kiss his cheek, I also hug Dallas, Luke and Cam. Drew stays close to me and for a couple of hours I have a wonderful time talking, mingling and even eating a little. Then I start to feel weak, my heart starts pounding again, I get dizzy and leave Drew to go to the washroom. I hardly make it to the hall, gripping the wall just outside the door and sort of crumpling over.

"Clare?" Maya's voice makes me look up.

"Not feeling so good," I tell her.

"Cam get Drew and Owen now," Maya commands him, Maya helps ease me to the floor and then everything goes black.

"Clare," hearing my name from the lips of my true love brings me back to the world.

"What happened?" I question as Drew helps me to sit up.

"You fainted," Drew replies picking me up and I notice a crowd around us now.

"Where are we going?" I inquire as he starts walking.

"I'm taking you home," he tells me.

"But I…"

"Go home Clare you need to rest," Owen asserts.

People tell me to feel better and others are whispering. I can see Audra, Omar, Eli and Adam in my peripheral vision and assume they are all coming home with us. Along with Owen who is walking next to us wearing his coat and a very concerned look, he's also carrying my purse and coat. Drew gets me to his car, Adam unlocks the door and Drew sets me in.

"We'll see you at home," Adam says.

"Drew everyone doesn't need to come home," I tell him when he gets in the driver's seat.

"Everyone wants too," Drew replies.

We're silent on the way home but Drew won't let go of my hand, he doesn't let me walk into the basement, now our apartment, either. He insists on carrying me and he sets me on the sofa.

"Drew I'm okay, keep everyone from checking on me, I'll go to bed, get a good night's sleep an…"

"But you're not okay Clare," Drew cuts me off, "at least I don't think you are and neither does Owen. I know you keep insisting you are but you get dizzy a lot, you're still sick in the mornings and throughout the day, pretty much every day. You're often pale and you look like you're in pain a lot, like something isn't right. I see it in your eyes Clare, the fear that something isn't right. I want you to see a doctor, I'm sure that clinic is fine but I want you to see my mom's doctor. If all of this is normal, if it's all just because I stressed you out so much at the beginning that it's taking its toll on your body then we need to know so I can keep you from ever being stressed again. And if something is wrong," Drew says taking my hand, "then we need to know so that we can do something about it, I will do anything for you Clare, please we need to know if something is wrong, do this for me."

I look at Drew, his eyes are pleading, wet with tears but his love for me deep within them. I squeeze his hand and sigh, I have to admit that the thought something may be wrong crossed my mind as well. More than crossed my mind, I can feel it, in my bones, deep within me I feel it but I don't want to admit it and I've denied it, to myself, to everyone.

"Okay, I'll go to the doctor; we'll call and make me an appointment tomorrow. For now can you to tell everyone that I'm tired and we're going to bed, if you'll lie with me that is," I request.

"Anything Clare, can you get ready for bed or should I stay with you?" Drew asks.

"I can get ready for bed and if I need you I'll call you," I assure him.

Drew grins now and I smile, he kisses my lips very soft and tender, then he gets up to go upstairs and I start getting ready for bed. Drew comes back downstairs just when I'm getting into bed.

"Mom is going to call first thing in the morning. I'm just going to brush my teeth and then will come hold you all night," Drew tells me kissing my temple, then my nose, each of my cheeks and finally my lips.

I smile and he goes into the washroom, I lie on my side and put my hand on my belly. Drew is in bed with me just a couple minutes later and encircles me in his arms, embracing me close. He works his hands under mine on my belly and kisses my neck. As tired as I am it still takes me a long time to fall asleep because I'm worried about what might be wrong. Drew and I wake up late the next morning, guess neither of us slept very well. After we get dressed we go upstairs together, the rest of the family including Dallas and Eli, are at the table eating breakfast.

"Sit down Clare I'll get you something to eat, Drew turn the kettle on so I can make her some tea," Audra instructs. I sit down on the other side of Adam and he gives me a hug, Owen, Eli, Dallas and Omar all give me sympathetic looks like I'm dying. After turning on the kettle Drew gets breakfast for himself and then sits down on the other side of me. "I called Dr. Davis, my OB/GYN, and she's working at the hospital today. After telling her what you'd been going through she thought we'd better bring you down so after breakfast we can go," Audra tells me setting down my tea for me.

"Thank you Audra but would you mind if just Drew and I went down? I don't want everyone to sit there worrying with us it will probably just stress me out more," I point out.

"Yes of course Sweetie, that's probably best anyway," Audra smiles.

"Just keep us informed," Owen requests.

As soon as Drew is done with breakfast and I've eaten some toast and a little fruit Audra ushers us out the door. Drew drives us to Toronto Western and we tell the nurse that we're here to see Dr. Davis. Of course Audra called ahead and the nurse has been expecting us. We're taken up to maternity, given a room and the nurse hands me a hospital gown.

"Dr. Davis is on rounds so she'll only be able to see you as she has time but you should be comfortable in here and just let us know if you need anything," the nurse says before leaving.

I feel like I'm being checked into the hospital already but I change into the gown and get on the bed. Drew sits with me and now we wait, and wait and wait some more, finally after nearly an hour a woman with greying black hair and a kindly face enters the room.

"Hello I'm Caroline Davis, you must be Clare and you're Andrew of course. I helped bring you into this world," the doctor smiles shaking our hands. "Sorry for the terrible wait but I'm on duty and I felt you should come in right away so please tell me everything either of you have been concerned about," Dr. Davis says sitting down in a rolling chair near the exam table.

"She's always sick, like throwing up, every time she eats and even when she hasn't. She's getting dizzy a lot and she's passed out a bunch of times," Drew tells her before I can even open my mouth.

"You're 15 weeks along is that right Clare?" Dr. Davis asks and I nod. "Having entered your second trimester you shouldn't be having so much morning sickness. How often does it come and how severe is it?"

"Well it kind of comes always and it's…" I almost say not too bad but then I see Drew's face and I sigh. "It's pretty bad, I'm hardly keeping anything down and I don't usually want to eat anything other than maybe tea or toast."

Dr. Davis looks at my chart a minute and then has me get on the scale before continuing. "How often are you dizzy?" Dr. Davis asks.

"At least once a day it seems like," Drew replies.

"Not every day, some days I'm not dizzy at all and other days I get dizzy two or three times but I'm not eating much like I said," I remind her.

"Do you know how many times you've fainted?" Dr. Davis questions while guiding me to lie back on the table and beginning a physical exam.

"Not sure really, I wasn't really counting, five…maybe a little more," I reply.

"How about any pain in your abdomen?" Dr. Davis asks.

"No, no pain there," I shake my head.

"Pain anywhere else?" She questions.

"No not pain exactly, but sometimes my heart pumps really hard, so hard it shakes my ribs. Or feels like it's beating too fast, like a humming bird's wings, I usually get dizzy or kind of woozy then," I tell her.

"Okay Clare, I have to get back to rounds but I'm going to have a resident come in and draw some blood. Then you'll be taken to cardiology for a couple of tests and when you come back I'll bring in a tech for an ultrasound and sonogram," Dr. Davis tells us.

"Cardiology? You think something is wrong with my heart?" I inquire and Drew goes pale.

"What you're describing sounds like a heart mummer, it's not uncommon for heart mummers to occur or become more prevalent during pregnancy. A lot of women have very mild ones from birth but are entirely unaware until they become pregnant and their hearts have to pump extra blood to get it to the baby. I don't want you to worry unnecessarily though, I am calling for several tests just to be safe but it may come back that it's really just stress. I'll be back as soon as I can and if you need anything press the call button," Dr. Davis says and leaves the room.

"This is my fault, I abandoned you and yelled at you, I was so angry and your first two months were nothing but stress," Drew laments squeezing my hand tightly.

"Drew we don't know that it is stress or a combination of things. Anyway you weren't the only cause of stress for me but you're here now, let's not worry until there is something to worry about because that will stress me out," I tell him.

"I promise to do everything I can to keep you from ever getting stressed again," Drew tells me.

"I know you will," I smile just as a young doctor comes in to get my blood.

They take three vials of blood and then an orderly comes in with a wheelchair. He takes me to cardiology and Drew follows of course. I'm given an EKG and then they do a sonogram of my heart. When all that is done I'm sent back to the room I was in before and a technician comes in to do a sonogram of my belly. The technician doesn't say very much but does make some interesting faces and prints out at least a dozen pictures before leaving. The resident that came to draw my blood comes in to say that we can go get some lunch and Dr. Davis will call us later this afternoon to meet again. So we drive home and tell everyone else what happened and what little we know, Audra makes us lunch and we eat with everyone then we hang out in the basement with Dallas, Bianca, Owen, Eli and Adam until the hospital calls and says Dr. Davis would like to meet with us now so Drew and I drive back to the hospital.

"Thanks for coming back in, so I went over your tests and there are a couple things going on. First of all you're anemic, anemia is fairly common in pregnant women and it's an easy fix I'll prescribe you an iron supplement and just follow the instructions. We will probably be able to decrease the dosage after a few months but we'll start with a fairly high dose for now because your iron levels are dangerously low. Secondly you do have a pretty significant heart mummer caused by a mitro-valve prolapse," Dr. Davis tells me.

"What does that mean? Is she going to be okay?" Drew asks with painful anxiety in his voice.

"She'll be just fine Drew, it means that one of the valves on your heart doesn't sit quite right, it's slightly twisted and askew. I know that sounds terrible but you can live a perfectly healthy long life, however when your body is stressed and your body is working hard to pump blood it can put some strain on your heart. It's most likely something you've had for several years if not from birth but was only detected now, which as I said is quite common. Those feelings of your chest pounding or the rapid heartbeats like humming bird wings are actually palpitations. The prolapse can be resolved with minimally invasive surgery but not while you're pregnant it puts too much risk on the baby. Unfortunately I can't just prescribe you a pill for the mitro-valve prolapse but it's not life threatening and shouldn't affect your life very much you just have to be careful, especially while pregnant. Exercise is good and of course recommended but nothing too rigorous."

"Does that mean we can't have sex?" Drew questions and I shake my head because of course that was his first thought.

"Intercourse and other sexual activity is fine Drew just be cautious especially while pregnant. Listen to your body and if you start to feel weak then stop. The more rigorous the cardio the harder your heart has to pump and it's already working hard because of your valve and then doubly hard because you're pregnant."

"That's fine I don't mind doing all the work during sex," Drew grins and I have to hide my face in my hands as I blush a deep red.

"The nausea and morning sickness are I believe a combination of stresses on your body and emotional stresses that you suffered early in the pregnancy even if those have improved. The morning sickness should begin to dissipate but we'll keep an eye on it, given your age preeclampsia is a concern but you're blood pressure was actually quite low so I'm not worried about that just yet and you aren't carrying multiples. So here is a prescription for your iron supplement and the card for the clinic I work from, I'd like you to call on Monday and set up an appointment for two weeks so we can see how you're doing. Okay any questions?" Dr. Davis asks.

We ask her a couple of questions, Drew wants to know what preeclampsia is and I ask how much my activity is restricted. Dr. Davis also recommends that if I can't eat we get some nutritional shakes so that I'm at least getting protein and nutrients into in some form. We leave the hospital for Drew's car and I turn to him to remind him to stop at the drug store.

"So we can stop at the drug store down the street and ge…"

He grasps my face holding it gently and crushes his lips to mine; the kiss is tender but hard, filled with passion, love and…fear.

"I'm sorry Clare, I should have been there, this is my fault but I won't let anything happen to you," he says and kisses me again before I can answer.

"Drew this isn't your fault and stop sounding like I'm dying. You heard Dr. Davis both things are very common with pregnant women, she just wants to keep an eye on me. You were a large part of my stress but not anymore and you're making up for it, I know how hard you're trying. But I'm young and I'm pregnant and things are going to come up, you can't blame yourself for all of them. Let's go by the drug store to fill the prescription and pick up some shakes, then we can go home and tell everyone what the doctor said," I assert.

Drew brushes a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my nose, "I know I left you but you are my light, my bright star in a dark night, the shining jewel amongst the other treasures of my life, if anything ever happened to you," Drew is saying and then puts one hand on my belly, "or our child it would kill me. I love you so much Clare."

I smile elatedly gripping the back of his neck and joining our lips for another kiss of passionate love.

**Update next Tuesday probably starting with them getting home.**


	11. Out of This Swan Dive, To Your Arms

**Did you all get tonight's twitter clue?**

**Ch. 11 Out of This Swan Dive, To Your Arms**

**(DREW)**

I park at home and rush around to the passenger seat to help Clare out of the car. She gives me a bit of an annoyed look but doesn't say anything; she does kiss my cheek when we're out of the car.

"What did the doctor say?" Mom asks as soon as we're in the house.

"I think we'd better tell everyone at once, I assume Eli, Owen, Adam, Bianca and Dallas are all still here?" Clare comments.

"Yes they didn't want to be up here with Dad and I talking so they're watching movies in the basement," Mom tells us.

"You sit on the sofa I'll go get everyone," I command. Clare sits down; Mom goes to the stairs and yells upstairs for Dad to come down. I open the door to the basement and go down halfway until I can see into the basement. "Hey you guys want to come upstairs," I announce and they all look over at me. The five of them follow me upstairs and I sit on the sofa wrapping my arm around Clare. Owen sits on the other side of her, Adam on the arm next to me, Bianca on the arm next to Owen. My parents stand while Eli and Dallas it on the coffee table. "Clare's sick…" I start and Clare interrupts me.

"Not sick, I don't have a virus Drew. The doctor said I do have a heart mummer, mitro-valve prolapse actually, which means one of the valves on my heart doesn't sit quite right. She told us it was nothing to worry about, I could live a perfectly long and happy life but I get palpitations sometimes and dizzy because my heart is working so hard. She also said I have anemia, another reason I get dizzy, she wants me to watch my diet and prescribed an iron supplement which we picked up, along with some nutrition shakes since I don't usually feel like eating. She was concerned but told me take it easy and listen to my body, know my limits basically. She also said preeclampsia was a risk but my blood pressure was very low so she wasn't too worried about that. We'll call the clinic she works at on Monday and make an appointment for two weeks from now. It's things that need to be monitored and I can't over exert myself but nothing that's life threatening for me or the baby."

"We'll all help," Adam tells me after everyone is silent for a minute.

"Yeah of course we will," Owen agrees.

"Clare you should go rest downstairs and I'll start thinking about dinner, are all you kids staying?" Audra asks.

Everyone nods and I stand helping Clare off the sofa, I walk with my arm around her all the way down the stairs.

"You should lie down and get some rest, try to nap an…" Clare puts her hand at the back of my neck, stands on her tip toes and silences me with a kiss.

"I'm not tired Drew I don't want to nap, I want to spend time with my friends. I know you're scared but none of this is life threatening, stop treating me like I'm made of glass, or too fragile to do anything," she admonishes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried, I just got you back I don't want to lose you," I confess.

"You won't," she says taking my hand and pulling me to the sofa.

We sit down, surrounding her, and Adam turns on the TV, we don't say much just sit there watching TV for a while. Then Eli finds an old B movie and we all start making fun of it, Clare included. When she suddenly gets up I grab her hand and cock an eyebrow at her wondering why she's trying to do something for herself.

"I'm thirsty," she responds.

"Sit I'll get you some water," I insist pulling her to sit on the sofa again while I stand.

"Drew I can get water," she responds in a slightly annoyed tone.

"I know but you're supposed to take it easy as much as you can, so when you're with me I don't want you lifting a finger," I inform her kissing her forehead before I go upstairs. Mom's cooking dinner, casserole of some kind, she looks at me and gives me this sympathetic smile. "Clare's thirsty," I tell her as if I need to explain my reason for going to the fridge.

"We'll have to make sure she's drinking plenty of water and getting enough nutrition. She should get her appetite back soon, probably some cravings too. Make sure she's getting her vitamins every day and some exercise," Mom says in the slightly frantic yet take charge voice she always uses when she feels helpless.

"Mom I'm scared, I have no idea what to do or how to help her. I know I walked away and left her but I regretted that the minute I did it and now I'm afraid I'm going to lose her. I don't know how to protect her," I confide in my mom.

"Oh honey," Mom says putting her arms around me for a tight hug, the kind only a mother can give. "Love her, be there for her, listen to her, do your best to get her anything she needs, hold her and be her rock. That's what you do for her, how you protect her. You can't do anything about what's happening in her body but you can make her life easier and happier. Now that you're back together you both seem much happier and the less stress she has the easier it will be on her body and the baby," Mom advises.

"I know, I'll do all of that and do everything I can to make sure that she's not stressed anymore. I better get this water down to Clare or she might think I ran off again," I remark and Mom smiles. "Thanks Mom, for everything," I kiss her cheek and go downstairs with Clare's water.

"You go to the Yukon for that water?" Owen jokes when I get back downstairs.

"Sorry I was talking to Mom," I explain opening the water and handing it to Clare.

She kisses my cheek and takes a few sips of water; we continue watching TV with everyone, mostly making fun of really bad movies from the 50's, 60's and 70's. When dinner is ready we go up and make ourselves plates but eat in the basement watching movies. Anyone that doesn't live here leaves a little before midnight. Clare and I say goodnight to my family and Dallas then start getting ready for bed. She begins to undress and then stops, sitting on the bed with her hand to her chest.

"Clare?" I question in a worried tone rushing to her side.

"I'm okay Drew just palpitations, they'll pass in a minute," she assures me.

"Can I do anything for you? Water? Get your pajamas? Anything?" I ask quickly.

She smiles at me and strokes my face, "Just sit with me and hold me."

"As long as you like," I grin sitting next to her on the bed and putting my arm around her.

She lays her head on my chest, takes my other hand and stays that way for a few minutes. Then lets out a breath it sounds like she's been holding for several minutes, she puts her head up, kisses my cheek and stands up. We finish getting ready for bed and when we're in bed I wrap her in my arms and hold her close.

"Good night Drew, I love you," she says cuddling into me.

"Good night My Shining Jewel, I love you," I reply.

I feel her smile against my chest and soon she drifts to sleep, I lie awake worried about her. I can't help it; everything the doctor said is going through my head and making me distressed with worry and "what ifs". What if it's too much for Clare's body? What if the heart condition is more serious than she thought? What if Clare stressed out or over does it? Eventually I do fall asleep but wake up a short time later after a nightmare. My eyes shoot open and I gasp but I don't wake Clare. Gently getting her off me I get out of bed and go upstairs sitting on the sofa.

"Drew?" My brother's voice makes me look over my shoulder at the stairway.

"What are you doing up?" I question.

"I could ask you the same thing," he counters as he sits next to me on the sofa.

"I was asleep but I had a bad dream about the pregnancy going bad and losing the baby," I tell him.

"The doctor said this stuff was normal right? None of it is life threatening and we just have to watch her, and we will. She's not alone Drew, you're not alone, you never were. Me, Eli, Owen, Bianca, Dallas, Mom and Dad, we'll all watch her and make sure she doesn't over exert herself . We know what's going on now, all of us and we can help her and you. You've always been strong for everyone else but if you're scared let us help, let us be your strength," Adam tells me.

"Thanks Adam," I grin hugging my younger but wiser brother.

"Yeah now get back to sleep I just came down for some water," he says.

I get up and go back to the basement, opening our bedroom door and crawling back into bed with Clare.

"Drew?" Clare yawns turning over a little when I get back in bed.

"Go back to sleep," I tell her lying down next to her and putting my arm around her.

She puts her forehead on my chest and nuzzles into me a bit, "Where were you?"

"Sorry, had a bad dream and I didn't want to wake you," I apologize combing my fingers into her hair and kissing her forehead.

She puts her hand on my chest and drifts back to sleep after a few minutes. I hold her until exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep. We sleep late, only waking up when I smell Mom making breakfast, Clare gets up to use the washroom and I toss some clothes on waiting for her. Actually ready to rush to her side if she needs me, gets dizzy, starts throwing up or anything else, but she exits the washroom a couple minutes later and smiles at me. She goes to the little closet that Glen made for us, her clothes take up 99.9% of the closet, I only have a couple dress shirts hanging in there, and she starts getting dressed. I wait for her and we go upstairs together, Mom made pancakes and Clare actually nibbles at one after she has some tea. We spend the rest of the day hanging out with Adam, Dallas, Bianca, Owen and Eli, just watching TV and playing video games in the basement but I don't want Clare doing anything. She doesn't eat much but I make sure that she takes her vitamins and iron supplement and that she drinks a nutritional shake. She does pretty well but of course we barely let her get off the sofa, tomorrow we have school and I don't know how she'll do. At least we both sleep through the night but she wakes up Monday morning by rushing to the washroom to throw up her dinner from last night, what little she ate anyway.

"We can stay home," I offer handing her some water.

"No we can't, I've been feeling this way for almost three months now Drew and I've been going to school. Now at least we know what's going on, I promise to eat and take it easy, and I know that you, Adam, Owen and everyone else will keep a close eye on me and make sure that I do. You should go up and eat breakfast, I'm going to start getting ready," she tells me kissing my cheek.

"I'm not leaving you, we'll get ready together and you need to eat too," I remind her.

She smiles and we walk to the bedroom again, once we're ready for school we go upstairs to eat breakfast. While Adam, Dallas and I eat bagels and cereal for breakfast, Clare has a piece of toast and tea but at least she ate. I grab her prescriptions before leaving and her backpack so she doesn't strain herself. We get in my car and I drive us to school, pulling into the parking lot just after Owen. He and Tris get out of the car and Owen opens Clare's door, she hugs him and Tris while I get out and grab her backpack. He asks how she's feeling and she tells him fine, we start walking into school together and when we get to the steps Katie and Fiona grab Dallas.

"Hey Clare, how do you feel?" Fiona asks.

"Fine," she responds.

"That's what she always says but the doctors worried about some stuff," Adam informs them.

"It's not a big deal; she said both things were very common for pregnancy. I'm anemic and I have a heart mummer, I just have to take it easy," she responds.

"Well I'm sure Drew and everyone will make sure that you do," Katie says.

"All of us will," Fiona speaks up and Clare smiles at her then Fiona looks at Dallas. "Dallas we thought we should have a victory dance, not like Friday's after party but an actual dance. We were thinking we'd theme it 40's like the victory dances after world war II but everyone has to come in Ice Hounds colors," Fiona announces.

"Sounds great, I look mighty sexy in a suit," Dallas grins and Clare giggles, "when are we having it?"

"Friday," Fiona responds.

"Sounds like fun, maybe I can get Drew to swing dance," Clare smiles.

"Not likely," I shake my head, "anyway you're supposed to take it easy."

"Yeah but I can attend a dance, it's not a marathon, can I have my backpack now I need to get books before class," she requests.

"No I'll carry you're backpack," I insist and put my arm around her shoulders.

"See you guys later," Katie says.

Adam, Owen and Tris walk in with us; Tris leaves us when he sees his friends. When we get to Clare's locker we find Becky, Luke, Dave, K.C. and Connor. While I open Clare's locker and get out her books she tells them what the doctor said and they all promise to help look out for her too. She doesn't want to come to my locker so I give her backpack to Adam.

"Be careful, if anything happens…"

"Drew I'll be fine," she says with an annoyed tone as she cuts me off.

"I just got you back and now I might lose you, you can't blame me for being worried," I defend myself.

"I think it's sweet that you're worried but I'm not going to break just being at school and you're not going to lose me Drew I promise," she grins standing on her toes to give me a chaste kiss, "unless you do something stupid again."

"Never again My Shining Jewel, I love you," I tell her.

"I love you too," she grins kissing me once more before walking off with my brother and her other friends.

"I'm worried too but Clare's strong, she'll be okay and we're all looking out for her," Owen says as we start walking to our lockers.

"Plus I think you're getting on her nerves," Luke chides as he follows us.

"Yeah I know I am but I can't help it, I'm in love with the girl."

**(CLARE)  
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"I'm surprised Drew let you out of his sight," Maya comments as Bianca parks downtown.

"He's just worried," I respond getting out of the car.

It was Wednesday and the dance was in two days so Bianca, Becky, Maya and I had decided to come shopping in the vintage/thrift shops downtown so we could find something appropriate to wear.

"He broke up with you and got all pissed off, he didn't seem to be too worried at that point," Becky retorts.

"He was pissed because he was scared, he didn't know how to deal. He was still worried," Bianca says in Drew's defense.

"He knows he made a mistake and he's making up for it," I tell them as we walk into the first store.

"Are you guys going to get married?" Becky questions while looking at a black and white striped dress that can pass for 1940's style.

"We haven't talked about it, I think we're just concentrating on the pregnancy for now," I reply.

I look at a few dresses but none of them will fit over my chest and none of them are black, red or white. Becky ends up getting the striped dress and Bianca buys a hair pin but that's it so we move on to another store. This one has a black dress with white polka-dots and ruffled cup sleeves which is very 1940's style and buttons up the front. When I try it on it actually fits so I get it and start looking at the shoes but don't find anything I like. Maya is trying on a white dress and Becky is looking at the jewelry so I sit down with Bianca.

"So do you want to get married?" Bianca questions.

"Yeah one day but I never thought about getting married at 17, of course never thought I'd find myself pregnant at 16 either. Drew always wore a condom, it never even crossed our minds," I confess.

"Have you thought about marrying Drew?" She inquires.

"I had in the past but for a while I thought we might never get back together and now we're just worried about getting through the pregnancy. Until a couple of weeks ago all I wanted was to be Drew's girlfriend again. I haven't thought about the possibility of being his wife in a long time," I respond.

"But you're happy with Drew? Still in love with him?" She queries.

"Yes I never fell out of love with him and I'm happy with him. He's making up for what he did and being very nurturing and attentive now," I tell her.

"So if Drew asked you to marry him you'd say yes," she states and I pinch my eyebrows together.

"Why? Has Drew talked about proposing?" I ask.

"Not that I'm aware of but I can talk to him if you like," she offers.

"No we're happy right now and Drew's worried about me and the baby so much I don't want to throw a wedding into the works," I reply just as Becky and Maya come over so we cease our conversation.

"We're done let's go to another store," Becky announces.

We check out several more stores and all of us find outfits that will work for the dance. I have the black and white dress and found a pair of scarlet colored Mary Jane's I'll wear with white socks. Becky has her striped dress and she's going to wear white flats. Bianca found a red dress that is 1940's style and says she's going to wear black heels. Maya got a black dress and a little black hat, the kind with a tiny veil that you pin on. Bianca drives each of us home, she lives closer to Maya but she still drops me off last.

"So after the baby is born you'll talk to Drew about getting married?" She asks when we're alone in the car.

"I don't know Bianca, really I haven't thought about it, I am in love with Drew but we weren't talking about marriage before I got pregnant, we were just high school sweethearts," I point out.

"Yes but having a baby together is a bigger step than getting married, a whole human being is bigger than one day to affirm your love and commitment in front of friends and family," Bianca counters.

"You have a point but I still want to just concentrate on being pregnant and having a baby," I tell her just as she pulls up to the Torres house.

I say goodbye to Bianca, grab my bags and get out of the car, I don't need to get my backpack because Drew took it home with him. I go through the basement and Drew is sitting on the sofa doing homework. He looks up, smiles and hops up to grab by my bags.

"Looks like you found some stuff," Drew says taking my bags into our bedroom.

"Yep I have my outfit, where's my backpack I need to start on my homework," I comment.

"You can start on your homework after dinner, which should be ready soon, for now you should rest. You were out walking around all afternoon after a full day of school," Drew says pulling me to the sofa.

"And I feel fine," I argue.

"Good but you're still going to rest," he asserts putting his arm around me.

I give in and lean against him, he turns on the TV and we watch for a short time before Audra calls us up for dinner. Everyone talks about their day, we tell Audra and Omar about the dance. Dallas says Owen and the rest of the guys, including Drew, Adam and Eli, will be renting 40's style clothes from a costume shop downtown and most of them are going tomorrow after school. I'm not that hungry but I eat a little chicken and a little salad. After dinner Drew and I go down to our room so he can finish his homework and I can do mine. I get my parenting homework done pretty easily and then start on my native studies homework. However I soon get bored and that seems to lead to horny, I begin to shift as a tickle builds between my legs. After a few minutes of trying to get my mind off of it and squelch this desire I give up, setting my book down and looking at Drew, biting my lip as I picture him taking me and ravishing my body. He's lying on his stomach typing on his laptop and doesn't realize I'm looking at him. I turn and crawl across the bed on my hands and knees, closing his laptop while he's looking at a reference in his book.

"Uh what are you doing?" Drew questions.

"Distracting you from your homework," I reply standing on my knees and unbuttoning my blouse.

"I like distractions," he grins turning on his back and taking my waist so I'm straddled over him.

Reaching up he begins unbuttoning the rest of my blouse, helping me get it off and tossing it against the wall in our small room. He unhooks my bra with one finger, and drops it to the floor. Gripping his shirt I get it over his head, then open his fly and unzip his jeans. Grabbing my hips he turns us so that I'm lying on my back and he begins unzipping my skirt. Pulling it down my legs and tossing it behind his head, then he swiftly removes my panties, hopping up so he can get off the rest of his clothes and leaves them in a pile on the floor. Pouncing back on the bed between my legs, his lips ensnare mine as two of his fingers wriggle into me; I moan and deepen the kiss.

After working my hole with his fingers for a few minutes he pulls them out, licking them clean while I whimper. A breath hitches in my throat as he thrusts into me, he moves slowly for only a few seconds and then his pace becomes rapid. I pull out of the kiss to breathe as my hips start bucking and moving in tandem with him. The aching build to orgasm is becoming nearly painful, I bend my knees and grip his back digging my nails into him a bit. Drew lifts one of my legs over his shoulder, pushing him in even farther and I let out a long purring moan as I orgasm but we are far from done.

He slows down just a bit, turning me on my side with my leg still lifted. This is new and he's hitting all kinds of new places. I grip the bedspread and moan on a whimpering quivering breath. My whole body starts trembling and I don't know how long I can keep this up, I feel the need to orgasm again but I can feel Drew's body start to quiver just slightly, I tighten around him and feel him grow just a slightest bit. Both our body's go rigid and still for a few seconds and then we both move again, rapidly, and frantically to reach climatic orgasm. We both cry out in rapturous relief, Drew slows down and turns me to my back again, stealing a kiss before we both collapse. We lay together in a breathless naked pile for a few minutes, Drew is able to move first and he sits up to get my water bottle from the nightstand handing it to me. I take a few sips and then sit up looking around for my clothes.

"Don't get dressed again," Drew whines wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck.

"I need to wear something," I laugh.

"Why no one will come down here and everyone will knock before coming in our bedroom," he argues.

I giggle and grab his football jersey from the closet putting that on. We finally do finish our homework; Drew actually stays naked the whole time and occasionally caresses my leg. It's a little after eleven by the time we actually get ready for bed. I get in bed first and Drew joins me when the light is off, still naked of course.

"So," I speak up rolling over to cuddle with him, "Bianca was asking if we're going to get married."

**Update next Tuesday probably starting at the victory dance.**


	12. Within You

**Just FYI for those of you that read my updates every day I will not be posting on Friday. I will be using that as a plotting day and to look at tomfeltonlover1991's stories that she needs me to edit and check over so she can update. I have 15****things on my list to plot so I probably won't get through them all but I have a plotting day scheduled once every two months. Once a story is completely plotted it will go on the list on my profile page to be written. If there is something on the list you want to see then make your voice heard and I will do what I can. If you have a request let me know but take note of how long the list is and know that I have to plot it out first so be patient it may take a long while between the time you make the request and the time I can write and post it.**

**Ch. 12 Within You**

**(CLARE)**

"Thanks for doing my hair Becky," I smile at her reflection in the mirror.

"No problem Clare, you look so cute with your hair like this," Becky smiles.

She and Luke, as well as Bianca, were at the house getting ready for the victory dance with me, Drew, Adam and Dallas. We all had our clothes and Becky did my hair and hers to be more 40's style but Bianca opted for her natural hair. Drew was dressed in a black pinstripe zootsuit,Adam and Dallas also had suits but Dallas had a vest and double breasted jacket and his suit was dark brown, Adam had a white pinstripe suit and Luke a blue one. Only Drew and Dallas had hats though, although I was sure more kids would have hats at the dance. Becky finishes my hair and we grab our purses going down stairs to meet the others.

"You girls look beautiful," Adam smiles when we get down the stairs.

"You all look fantastic, picture time," Audra grins getting her camera from the kitchen counter.

We crowd together near the sofa and Audra takes a picture, then she gets one of all the guys, then us girls, then me and Drew, and so on until she has enough pictures to make her happy. Since there are 7 of us Audra lets us take the minivan and Adam drives, Becky sits in the passenger seat, Drew and I sit in the two middle seats and Luke, Bianca and Dallas take the backseat.

"The school looks great," I comment walking in on Drew's arm after we arrive.

"Yeah Fiona did a good job," Dallas nods.

We give our tickets to Liam and Connor, who are manning the door, and then go into the auditorium. It's totally decked out in Ice Hounds colors and a large banner that reads: **VICTORY! **is hanging from the ceiling. Swing music plays and kids are dressed up, some look like they stepped out of the 1940's others are barely even dressed up but everyone is having a good time. We start to work our way through the crowd and the first person we find is Owen, or rather he finds us. He's wearing a dark blue double breasted suit with a fedora and looks rather handsome. He hugs me and Bianca, pumping fists with Drew, Adam and his fellow Ice Hounds. He joins us and we find a table to sit down and claim as our own. I see Maya, Tris, Zig and Cam all dancing together. Eli finds us although he didn't really dress up; he's simply all in black. Adam and Becky are the first to get up and dance and when they're gone Eli leaves our table.

"Dance with me," I request of Drew when a slow song comes on. He smiles and gets up taking me out to the dance floor, putting his hands around my waist and I put mine around his neck. "This feels nice," I grin putting my head on Drew's shoulder.

"Dancing with me?" Drew questions with a little confusion in his voice.

"Well yes that too but I mean feeling like a normal teenage couple again. Dancing at a high school dance and not worried about parenthood, how the pregnancy is going," I pause before saying the next part because we never did discuss it the other night. "Talking about getting married," I add quietly and bite my lip out of habit.

When I brought it up in bed the other night Drew asked if I wanted to get married, I shrugged, he shrugged and then we both dropped the subject.

"If you want to get married, then we'll get married," Drew replies.

"Well that was a romantic proposal," I huff letting go of him and taking a step away but he grabs my hand and twirls me back to him.

"That wasn't a proposal I was simply saying if you want to get married before we have the baby then we'll get married," he explains.

"I'm not going to force you into getting married, I don't even know if I want to get married," I respond getting somewhat agitated. "I never thought about marriage so young, or having a baby this young but I suppose we're already doing that s…"

"Clare slow down," Drew cuts me off, "why don't we start with a date? Our first one since being back together, we can go out tomorrow since it's Saturday."

"I can handle a date," I smile and capture his lips just as the song ends and a fast one starts up. We stay on the dance floor for the fast song, dancing through two more before I start to tire. Owen joined us one song ago, he and Drew seem to be enjoying making up dance steps together so I decide to let them stay on the dance floor. "I'm going to get some water and sit down for a bit," I tell them.

"You want me to come with you?" Drew offers.

"No I can make it on my own and anyway you two are having a good time dancing," I tell Drew, he gives me a soft kiss and goes back to dancing with Owen.

Pushing my way through the crowd I make it to the refreshments table where I find Maya and Cam.

"Your dress looks so beautiful on you," Maya smiles.

"So does yours, I'm glad we went shopping and all the guys look great in their suits. I kind of wish they'd dress that way all the time," I remark grabbing a water bottle.

"Good luck this is fun for a night but I prefer jeans and t-shirts," Cam replies.

I laugh and we stand there talking a bit more before I go back to sitting at our table. Drew and Owen dance until a slow song comes on, and then they grab some water and food, joining me at the table.

"It's good to see you happy again," I tell Drew.

"I've been happy since having you back," he smiles cupping my chin to ensnare my lips for a kiss.

"Stop, you're sweeter now than when you first got together," Owen chides and I giggle.

I stay at the table a little while before getting up to dance for a fast song with Adam. He may not know how to swing dance but he fakes it well and he dances with me and Becky doing tricks and spinning us a lot. After that Drew comes back to the dance floor for the slow song and holds me close as we sway to the jazz music. My hormones pick this time to start raging; I press my hips into Drew and feel him get just a little bit hard.

"What are you doing?" He questions when my hand starts to drift in that direction.

"Horny," I whisper back.

"Now?" He inquires.

"Yes now," I nod.

"You want to wait until we get home or…" he starts to say but grab his hand and start walking for the exit, "guess not," he laughs.

We get to the storage room and I take him back to the sofa in the back I take off his jacket and start taking off his belt. He begins taking off his shoes, so while he starts getting undressed I remove my panties but there's no need to remove anything else. When he takes off his boxers and has nothing but his shirt and tie on I push him to sit on the sofa and I straddle his lap.

"Damn! I like these raging hormones, you're almost always horny and you're so forceful and in charge," Drew grins putting his hands on my waist as I pull up my dress.

I smile back, grabbing his stiffening cock which elicits a moan from Drew's lips. I stroke him a few times until he's totally hard, then I position the silky throbbing head, let go and lower myself onto him. Biting my lip, my eyes going half lidded and a slow throaty moan comes forth as I lower myself onto him. I lower myself slowly, my body welcoming him and quivering at his feel. When I'm all the way down I take a moment to breathe, our bodies both tremble slightly and we take a moment to just feel each other so completely. I only lowered myself slowly, once I've adjusted around him I start bouncing wildly like I'm riding a mechanical bull. I don't want to make love to him we're in school at a dance for goodness sakes, I want to orgasm, I want to do it quickly and I want to do it with Drew. It doesn't take long for either of us; I throw my head back and grip his shoulders tightly, stifling a scream by biting my lip as I moan his name. Drew emits a guttural groan from the back of his throat, my name dropping off the end. His arms come around me as I fall against his chest, breathless and quaking in aftershocks of pleasure.

"Now that was a victory dance," Drew jokes and I lightly bite his neck.

He laughs and gently removes me from his lap, he begins dressing again and after another minute I retrieve my panties and put them on. Drew fixes my hair a little and taking my hand we leave the storage room and return to the dance. We're both thirsty and I'm a little hungry now, we get water and I take a few carrot sticks and chips, then we return to our table.

"Where did you guys disappear too?" Dallas questions.

"By the grin Drew is wearing I'd say they were doing naughty things somewhere in the school," Bianca comments, I giggle and Drew nods happily.

After eating and drinking an entire bottle of water we get up to dance again, holding each other close for the slow song. When the fast song starts up Drew tries a few tricks and swing dancing steps but quickly gives up. We end up dancing for two fast songs in a group with Luke and Owen.

"I have to use the washroom be back in a bit," I tell Drew when another song starts up.

Drew nods and kisses my cheek before I walk to the washroom down the hall. It's pretty full so I have to wait in line; Maya's in line a couple girls ahead of me and notices me.

"Clare don't wait in line," she says pulling me out of line, "pregnant lady coming though, she's next."

This actually seems to work as the girl in the front of the line steps aside for me. I smile at Maya thanking her and the girl that was at the front of the line. I use the washroom and wash my hands, Maya comes out of a stall just as I'm finishing and I wait for her.

"Really thanks for that I was about to die," I tell Maya as we begin to walk down the hall and back to the dance.

"No problem when my aunt was pregnant I remember she had to pee about every five minutes," Maya says and I giggle, stopping and putting my hand to my chest when I feel palpitations and it makes me dizzy. "Clare?!" Maya asks with a concerned voice.

"I'm okay, just some palpitations, they'll pass in a few minutes," I assure her.

"Are you sure, should I get Drew or Owen?" She questions anxiously.

"No don't bother them; I'm just going to go out for some air. Would you just let Drew know I stepped outside and I'll be back inside in a few minutes please," I request.

"Yeah of course," Maya nods parting from me when I reach the front door.

I go outside and walk down the steps and across to the picnic table sitting on the bench. I sit there a moment just taking a few deep breaths, the palpitations subside and I enjoy the air compared to the stuffy heat in the auditorium. When I hear footsteps approaching through the leaves and the woods I look up to see Fitz emerging from the trees.

"Clare? Are you okay? Why are you dressed like that? I heard through the grapevine that you and Drew got back together did he do something stupid again?" Fitz questions coming over to the table and sitting near me, he turns on the bench so that he's straddling it and facing me.

"I'm fine Fitz; we're having a 1940's themed dance tonight that's why I'm dressed this way. Drew and I are back together and very happy, he didn't do anything stupid I simply came out for some air," I explain and Fitz grins. "Thanks for looking out for Drew when he was so angry, it meant a lot to me," I tell Fitz.

"No problem, it was weird to see Drew like that, I am glad you guys worked it out though you make a cute couple. Come on I'll take you back inside I don't think you should be out here alone and I'm just on my way to my girlfriend's house," Fitz tells me standing up and offering me his hand.

"You have a girlfriend?" I query taking his hand and getting up from the bench.

"Yes Meghan, she goes to North Park and we attend the same church. She's really sweet I think you'd like her," Fitz tells me as we walk across to the steps.

"I'd love to meet her sometime," I grin just as Drew comes out the door, giving me quite the look for walking with Fitz. "Fitz was just walking me back inside, he was worried about me being out here alone," I assure Drew.

"So was I, Maya just found me and told me you were out here. Thanks for making sure that she's safe Fitz," Drew says somewhat cautiously as he takes me from Fitz.

"No problem I don't want Clare to get hurt, I'm sure Meghan would like to meet you too, she's heard of you. Well I should go now, enjoy the dance," Fitz says waving to us and walking off.

"Who's Meghan?" Drew inquires.

"His girlfriend," I reply and Drew seems to relax a little.

"Are you feeling okay?" Drew questions, "We could go home."

"No I don't want to go home; I want to enjoy the rest of the dance. I've been dancing a lot plus we had sex, I did a little too much and I got some palpitations, they're gone now. I want to stay for the dance but I will take it easy for the rest of the dance," I assure him.

"Sorry I should have made you rest earlier," he apologizes.

"Drew I'm a big girl I can make decisions for myself," I remind him.

"Right sorry but I still should have been keeping an eye on you My Shining Jewel," Drew says and I bite my lip at his new pet name for me, I think it's very sweet.

"You have been Drew, you take great care of me, now let's go enjoy the rest of the dance," I insist and he grins stealing a kiss before we go back inside.

We go inside and sit down; Drew gets me some water and some more to eat. I stay at the table for the rest of the dance, I don't get more palpitations but I do feel pretty tired. After the dance we drive home and I'm nearly asleep when we arrive. I say goodnight to Becky, Luke and Bianca who are about to get in their cars and drive to their homes. When we're inside I say goodnight to Adam and Dallas before Drew and I get down to the basement. I take off my dress, shoes, bra and panties crawling into bed and I fall asleep before Drew even joins me in bed.

**(DREW)**

"So My Shining Jewel what would you like to do today?" I ask Clare when we're done with lunch and relaxing in our room.

Dallas was out with Bianca and Adam was spending the day with Becky, my parents were home but upstairs so we were basically alone.

"I don't know, I'd say a museum but you'd hate that," she replies.

"Not if I'm with you," I reply kissing her temple.

"You may not hate being with me but you will hate the museum," she disputes.

"Then we'll do one thing you want to do and one thing I want to do and end the evening with a picnic in the park," I tell her and she smiles.

"Sounds wonderful," she grins.

"So what museum would you like to go to?" I question.

"Ontario Science Centre," she responds.

"Well let's go then, it will probably take you at least three hours to go through the whole museum and bore me with every exhibit," I remark standing up from the sofa and pulling her with me. She twists her mouth at me and pinches my side for the remark; I grin and kiss her cheek. "I will probably be bored but if I'm with you I'll enjoy every minute of it."

She shakes her head and we get ready to go, we're already dressed but we need shoes, sweaters, her purse, my wallet, our phones and I get a picnic blanket. I tell my parents we're going out and then drive us to the museum. I pay for us and let her take the lead, she pulls me through exhibit after exhibit, they aren't all boring some of them are actually pretty interesting. The communications exhibit was pretty cool, so was the space one and Clare is happy so I'm happy.

"Okay we did my thing now what's yours?" Clare asks me when we get in the car again.

"I'm thinking putt putt," I reply and she smiles.

I drive us to the mini-golf course and park as close as I can; after all we did last night I want to make sure she takes it fairly easy today. I pay for us to get in and we get our clubs and balls. I let her go first, she's not very coordinated but she is good at math so she does pretty well, I still win but she did well.

"So where should we get dinner?" I question when we get back in the car.

"I thought we were having a picnic," she responds.

"We are but we can get food to go from anywhere you want and take it to the park," I reply.

"I feel like Mexican," she tells me.

"Mexican it is," I smile driving us to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants and we place an order to go.

I take the food and the picnic blanket, we walk through the park until she finds a spot that she likes and we sit down. I give her the box with her food, she ordered fajitas, I got tacos and an enchilada, which thinking about it may not have been the best picnic food. We eat mostly in silence but she looks happy, watching me and the people in the park. I see her paying special attention to a mother with her baby; Clare looks happy but sort of scared as well.

"You're going to be a great mom, don't worry," I tell her.

"I can't help but worry Drew, we're so young, we're still in high school, we're still children ourselves what do we know we know about raising a child? We have no money; we're living off your parents, what happens when you go to college next year?" She questions getting slightly more agitated with each worry that's weighing on her mind.

I put down my fork and take her hand in mine, "I'll take a year off and work full time so we can save up. When you know what University you want to go to then we'll move, get a small apartment or student housing or something. I can work and take a couple courses at a time, or something, we have time to figure it out, don't stress about it now it's bad for the baby."

"I know, I just can't help but worry, it just seems like there is so much to think about. The nursery has nothing in it, what if the baby gets sick? What if…"

I cut her off with a kiss and she lets out a breath, "If the baby gets sick then we'll take it to a doctor, the rest we'll figure out as we go. No one is 100% ready to be a parent but we're not alone, we have my family, all our friends, Jake and Glen. We can do this Clare, we'll make mistakes but we can do this. I think worrying is just the sign of a good concerned parent. Just ask my mom, I think she spends most of her day worried about me and Adam."

"That's because you and Adam are worrisome," she giggles.

I smile and tip her chin up to nab a kiss from her soft lips. We finish our dinner and I toss our trash, Clare lies on her back with her head in my lap when I sit down again. I smile down at her and comb my fingers through her hair.

"Have you thought about names?" I ask her after a short time.

"We don't even know what we're having yet and we won't for another couple of weeks or so," she laughs.

"Are you worried about your appointment next Tuesday?" I question when I see some uncertainty in her eyes.

"No," she shakes her head but I know she's lying.

"Clare I know I've been…paranoid when it comes to you and the baby. Being to protective and treating you like you'll break but I don't want you to hide from me if you're worried. I know you too well for you to hide things from me," I tell her.

"I know," she says biting her lip briefly, "I am a little worried, last time we found out that there were some complications. This pregnancy was hard from the beginning but I felt a sense of comfort when I could tell myself it was all stress. I know the doctor said both anemia and the mitro-valve prolapse were not uncommon but she's still concerned, I'm still concerned."

"If you weren't worried then I would be very worried," I tell her and she smiles. "Come on let's go get some ice cream, we'll go home and make sundaes while we watch movies."

She grins and gets off my lap, I fold the blanket and we go back to my car. Driving us the grocery closest to home, I park and we go in walking directly to the frozen aisle where we run into Owen.

"You're wearing an awfully big smile," Clare teases him when he hugs her, I do have to admit he does seem…giddy.

"I met a girl," Owen explains and his smile just gets bigger, "she's amazing, she's beautiful and she loves hockey and she has this adorable laugh."

"She sounds great I can't wait to meet her," Clare smiles.

"We're going on our first date this Friday, you can meet her after that," Owen grins.

Owen grabs a gallon of ice cream, Clare gets a pint of mint cookie ice cream and we go to the same checkout line. We wave to Owen as we leave and drive home, Adam is there when we get back, the three of us make sundaes and go down to the basement to watch movies.

**(CLARE)**

"My appointment isn't for an hour and I'm hungry," I complain to Drew as we leave school Tuesday afternoon.

"Then let's stop at the Dot before we go," Drew replies.

We get in his car and drive down the block to The Dot, we go in and order at the counter, we're about to take a seat when I see Fitz with a girl I don't recognize. Given our conversation at the dance I surmise that she must be Meghan. I guess Fitz sees me looking at him because he waves us over; he gets up sitting next to the girl so that Drew and I can sit on one side of the table.

"Hi guys, this is my girlfriend Meghan," Fitz tells me and I smile. She's very pretty, has a beautiful smile and a calming demeanor. Her eyes are somewhat hidden by glasses and her obviously thick curly hair is pulled up in a ponytail, but the most important thing is that when Fitz looks at her his eyes sparkle. "This Clare and her boyfriend Drew," Fitz introduces us and her face lights with recognition.

"So you're Clare, it's so nice to meet you finally and put a face to the vision in my head. Mark has told me all about you," Meghan smiles reaching across the table to shake my hand. I notice now that she's wearing a purity ring and a cross that's nearly identical to the one I wear. "Mark told me about you as well Drew; it's good to meet you. Congratulations on the baby," Meghan smiles shaking his hand.

"Thanks it's nice to meet you too," I reply between bites of my fruit salad.

We talk a little, Drew thanks Fitz for looking out for him in the ravine and I get to talking with Meghan. She's really sweet and we bond over a shared faith, even if mine has wavered a little the core is still there. Fitz and Drew actually get a long pretty well and before Drew and I leave we exchange numbers with them.

"I can't believe I'm actually getting along with Fitz," Drew remarks as we get in his car.

"He's not the same guy as last year; he's come a long way. Anyway Owen was just as bad and he's now one of your best friends," I point out.

"Yeah I know, it's still weird," Drew comments.

"I think it's good and Meghan is nice, I could use another girl friend as I only have three," I point out and Drew smiles.

We drive in silence the rest of the way, the office looks nice and is quite calming inside. We tell the receptionist I'm here to see Dr. Davis she hands me a clipboard with paperwork to fill out. When I'm done with that we're shown back to an exam room and I change into the gown.

"Hi Clare and Drew it's good to see you again, how have you been feeling Clare?" Dr. Davis asks coming into the room.

"Better actually, the iron pills have definitely helped I don't get dizzy so much and Drew makes sure I take them every morning. I still get palpitations quite often but I recognize what they are now and I'll sit down and wait for them to pass," I tell her.

"Very good, I'm going to start with a physical exam then we'll take some blood and do an EKG. After all that I'm going to listen to the fetal heartbeat and take a sonogram to check on the fetus. So why don't you lie back on the table and we'll get started." I lie back and it takes almost 45 minutes for her to do the physical exam, the EKG and draw some blood, she says the physical exam looks good and the EKG looks fine. Then she turns on the sonogram machine and puts gel on my belly, presses a 2nd button before running the wand over my belly and a picture begins to appear. "The fetus is a little small but that's nothing to be alarmed about, are you sure about the conception?" She asks me.

"Yes very sure," I nod.

"Well it is developed at the right stage for 17 weeks. Everything looks good; can you hear the fetal heartbeat, that very fast thrumming sound?" She questions moving the wand again.

"Yes I hear it," I smile as Drew nods with a large grin and squeezes my hand.

"The baby looks very healthy, I wouldn't worry about the size, and the development is right on track. Make another appointment for two weeks from now and we might be able to see the baby's sex next time," Dr. Davis informs us.

"Great thanks Dr. Davis," I smile.

She prints a picture for us from the sonogram machine and wipes the gel from my belly. I get dressed again and we make an appointment at the front desk.

"See nothing to be worried about; the doctor said everything was fine and we might know what we're having in a couple of weeks," Drew grins when we get back in the car.

"I don't care what we have as long as it's healthy," I reply.

"We'll do everything we can to make sure of it," Drew says to me and gives me a reassuring kiss. "I love you Clare, you are and always will be My Shining Jewel and I will do everything I can to protect you and our baby."

**Update next Tuesday with a double date for Clew and Owen/Stacey, and possibly some more from Fitz and Meghan.**


	13. When I'm in Doubt

**So if it's true that every decision we make leads to an alternate reality and version of us then in one of those realities the DeGrassi writers made good decisions and I am very happy. This is not that reality, I was not happy after watching tonight's episode. I feel cheated! Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter. **

**Ch. 13 When I'm in Doubt**

**(DREW)**

"I'm glad Owen found someone, he seems really excited about Stacey," Clare comments as we drive us to where we were meeting Owen and Stacey. They had their first date last night and Owen called us afterward, he was gushing on the phone with us about Stacey and the date for almost an hour last night. Tonight we were doubling with them, something Clare was excited about as she desperately wanted to get out of the house for something besides school or a doctor's appointment. "I'm grateful he was there for me when you were…having trouble," she says delicately, "he made a very good pseudo boyfriend but I am very happy to have you back. Owen is great but we're better as friends, I was made for you."

I smile and take her hand in mine kissing the back of it, "Just for me and I'm very lucky."

I park at the glow in the dark mini golf place we're meeting Owen and Stacey at. We had originally thought about bowling but decided it would be too much strain on Clare's body. Mini golf consisted of a small swing with a light club and a little bit of walking. I get out and run around to Clare's side opening Clare's door and helping her out. I put my arm around her and we walk inside, I see Owen's car so I know they're already here. We see them as soon as we walk in, sitting at a table near the gaming area.

"Hey you're here," Owen grins standing up to hug me and Clare. "Babe these are my best friends Clare and Drew. Guys this is Stacey," Owen introduces us.

Stacey stands up with a smile and shakes our hands; she has a nice smile and straight brown hair that comes past her shoulders.

"It's nice to meet you both, Owen's told me a lot about you," Stacey says.

"Yes you too, Owen went on and on about your date last night, it was quite sweet actually," Clare teases him, he scowls at her slightly and then puts his arm around Stacey's shoulders and kisses her head.

"Let's play before I get hungry," Owen comments.

He pays for him and Stacey, I pay for me and Clare and we walk to the course. We decide that Clare should go first since she's pregnant and she disagrees with our logic but still goes first. As we walk through the course we get to know Stacey a little, Owen already told us that she goes to Bardell and she's a senior like me and Owen. When we're done playing we're ready for dinner, even Clare, but I don't want to feed her the disgusting greasy pizza and hot dogs made of who-knows-what that they serve here. So we decide to drive to the Swiss Chalet that's close by.

"So when's your due date Clare?" Stacey asks after the waiter has taken our order.

"September 17th, which is only a few days after the baby's uncle's birthday," Clare tells her.

"Adam's birthday is in September?" Owen questions.

"You don't know my own brother's birthday?" I scold him.

"Hey it's not like I've ever been to Adam's birthday party before," Owen shoots back.

We talks some more over dinner and Clare gets along well with Stacey, I like her too, she's very nice and Owen is very into her which is cute. After we pay for dinner we decide to go to a movie and there's a theatre right down the street. When we get to the theatre we decide on a movie and pay to get in; we just came from dinner so we don't need to get snacks. We go into the theatre and get four seats in the middle of the back row.

"I want something chocolate," Clare says as soon as we've sat down and I sigh.

"Anything for you My Shining Jewel," I reply. Clare smiles and kisses me before I stand up.

"I'll go with you and get some water, we're bound to get thirsty," Owen says standing up. He kisses Stacey's cheek and we go out to the snack stand line. "So what do you think of Stacey?" Owen asks while we wait.

"I think you two were made for each other, she likes hockey and sports, she gets along with Clare, she's sweet and she puts up with you," I say the last part sarcastically and Owen twists his face at me. "And if you have your own girlfriend you won't be doing naughty things with mine anymore," I tease him.

"I wouldn't have had to at all if you hadn't freaked out and left her," he reminds me in a scolding tone.

"Yeah I know, I was just teasing, you know I'm really grateful you were there for her," I reply.

"Yeah I know. Have you two talked about getting married any more?" He asks.

"No not really, Clare just wants to be pregnant and have the baby before we talk anymore about that step," I respond.

We're at the front of the line now and I get some chocolate for Clare and two water bottles, Owen gets water bottles for himself and Stacey. We go back into the theatre and sit down by the girls again. Clare eats all of the chocolate, including the dinner she ate it's the most she's eaten in one day for weeks and I'm really glad. Now that we know what's going on and she recognizes the signs she's been doing a lot better, and I've been doing everything I can to keep her from being stressed or overworked.

"It was really good to meet you Stacey, you and Owen are really cute together," Clare says when the movie is over and we're back out at our cars.

"Thanks you guys are really sweet together, you're going to make great parents and it was really nice to meet the people Owen's always going on about," Stacey teases him.

"Yeah we'll have to double again sometime or just hang out, for now I should get Clare home," I speak up or Clare will stay here talking to Stacey more.

"Oh of course, well I had fun," Stacey smiles hugging Clare and then me.

We say goodnight to Owen and get in the car, Clare talks about what a cute couple they are for the whole drive home.

"You going to take your bath tonight?" I ask her when we get home.

"No I'm tired but will you rub my shoulders, sitting in the theatre gave me a sore neck," she requests.

"Of course, anything for you," I reply.

We get ready for bed and when we're in bed I rub her shoulders for a while, she gets more relaxed the longer I rub. When she yawns I know it's time to get to sleep so I kiss her and tell her I love her, pull the covers up then kiss her goodnight. We both sleep in but are woken up by Clare's phone ringing, I groan and look at the clock as Clare sits up and grabs her phone from the nightstand. It's after ten so it's really not that early but it feels early.

"Hello?" Clare asks into the phone with a yawn. "Hang on I'll ask Drew," she says and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Drew it's Fitz, the church he and Meghan go to is a having a picnic today and they're inviting us," she tells me.

"Do you want to go?" I question with a yawn and a stretch.

"It would be nice to get out in the sun for a while and I like Meghan," Clare responds.

"Then we'll go," I grin and Clare smiles. She tells Fitz that we'll be there, talks for another few seconds and then hangs up.

"He said it starts at noon and to come by any time between noon and one," she tells me.

"Then I guess we should get up and get some breakfast," I reply sitting up.

We both get out of bed I pull on a pair of jeans, Clare puts on her robe and we go upstairs. Mom and Dad are out, there's a note on the fridge that says they went to run errands and go grocery shopping and would be back this evening. Dallas is probably sleeping still because he had a date with Bianca last night, but my brother is awake and sitting on the sofa watching TV. We sit on the sofa with Adam, I eat two bowls of cereal but Clare only eats an apple, so she tells Adam about our double date last night when she's done eating. After eating she goes down to our washroom to shower and I talk to Adam a while longer. We get dressed and leave the house just after noon, arriving at the church ten minutes later. I park, we see the picnic in the church yard and walk over, Fitz sees us and waves.

"Hey guys," Fitz grins when we get to him.

"Hi it's good to see you again," Meghan smiles hugging us.

"You two," Clare says for us.

"We can sit at a table or on a blanket on the grass," Meghan tells us.

"A blanket on the grass sounds nice," Clare responds.

"I'll go get the blanket from the car, you guys find us a spot," Fitz says kissing Meghan on the cheek.

He walks toward the parking lot and the three of us look for somewhere to sit. We find a nice spot under a tree so we have a little bit of sun, Fitz finds us with the blanket and spreads it out.

"Why don't you keep our spot and I'll go get us some food," I tell Clare and kiss her gently.

"Keep Clare company Sunshine and I'll get us some food," Fitz says to Meghan.

"Of course Mark," Meghan smiles and gives him a quick chaste kiss.

Leaving the girls Fitz and I get in line, there's a ton of food lining three tables, Fitz and I grab plates.

"So how you doing?" Fitz asks as I put some potato salad on my plate.

"Good, I'm happy again which feels nice. I look back on it and feel really stupid about the whole thing. We were being careful you know, we used protection, neither of us wanted to be parents, it never even entered my mind. When she told me I just switched off, it was like I couldn't think. I just got really terrified at the thought of being a parent and was angry at myself and the situation and exploded."

"You were told shocking news and you freaked out, sounds pretty normal to me. Anyway the important thing is that you came to your senses and went back to her. She's happy now, you make her happy. She wasn't happy while you were gone, she wasn't happy with Owen," Fitz tells me.

"She wasn't really dating Owen," I reply.

"Yeah I heard but she still wasn't happy," he reiterates.

"She makes me happy, we fit together you know. Anyway you and Meghan seem pretty happy," I point out.

"Yeah we are she's great I think I'm falling for her. She knows all about my past and she doesn't care, she likes the person I am now," Fitz grins.

We both have two plated full of food that we're carefully balancing and we walk back to our blanket and the girls. The girls are talking about going to church, actually Clare seems to be talking about the fact that she hasn't been since her mom kicked her out. We leave the food with the girls and go to get drinks for the four of us. I get a soda for me but water for Clare and then we sit down again and start eating. We eat mostly in silence, making an occasional comment about the food or something equally mundane. Clare only eats about half of what's on her plate, she looks a little pale actually and I know she took her iron pill this morning.

"I have to use the washroom," she announces after eating.

"Straight through the front doors and to the left," Meghan tells her.

Clare smiles, stands up and then clutches her chest faltering, both Fitz and I hop up to catch her. I put my arms around her waist and Fitz braces her by the arm.

"I'm okay," she assures us.

"Are you dizzy? Was it palpitations?" I ask her.

"Yeah, they'll pass in a minute," she replies.

After a few seconds she straightens up smiling at Fitz and Meghan then kissing my cheek. She looks like she's not dizzy anymore and reminds me that she still has to go to the washroom. We let her go and she walks to the washroom, Fitz and I sit back down.

"Is she okay?" Meghan asks.

"Yeah she's got a mitro-valve prolapse; one of the valves on her heart doesn't sit quite right. The doctor said she'd probably had it for years and these things are often found when girls get pregnant. Sometimes it gives her palpitations and can make her dizzy. The doctor said it wasn't life threatening and she can live a perfectly long and active life with it. It can be fixed too but only by surgery and it's not something they can do while she's pregnant," I explain to them and then Clare returns to the blanket, she looks a bit paler actually and like she's in pain.

"Did you throw up?" I inquire. Her morning sickness has gotten a lot better but she still gets sick and throws up every so often.

"Are you okay Clare?" Fitz asks.

"I didn't throw up, but I think maybe we should go home sorry," she apologizes.

"Don't apologize go home and rest if you need to, it was nice to see you again," Meghan says.

"You guys too, we can hang out again when I have more energy. Owen has a new girlfriend maybe the six of us can do something," Clare remarks as we all stand up.

"Everyone can come over, we can have a BBQ at our place I'm sure Mom won't mind," I comment.

"Sounds great, feel better Clare," Meghan says hugging us.

Clare hugs Fitz and I shake his hand then I put my arm around Clare and we walk back to our car.

"Are you sure you're okay? I saw you take your iron pill this morning but you look pretty pale," I state when we're back in the car and on our way home.

"Yeah a little dizzy, the palpitations aren't going away and my stomach hurts a little," she replies.

"Should we go to the doctor?" I question.

"No I think it's okay, just indigestion or something, I just want to go home and rest," she says.

"And you will, for the rest of the day," I assert.

When we arrive home I run around and open her door and we go in through the basement entrance, she sits on the sofa and takes off her shoes. I sit with her and put my arm around her turning on the TV. She curls up on the sofa, laying on her side and using my lap as a pillow. I kiss her temple and she smiles taking my hand, she stays that way for quite a while and doesn't quite get her color back and I start to get worried.

"Are you sure we shouldn't go in? Are you still having palpitations? I know you don't want us to worry unnecessarily but if there is something to worry about then please tell me Clare," I plead.

"I guess going in would be a good idea, just to make sure that everything is okay," she finally gives in trying not to sound worried but I still hear it in her voice.

"Okay I'm going to get you some water and I'll call the clinic's nurses line so I know where to take you," I tell her lifting her head from my lap so I can get up. Getting out my phone I start walking upstairs, I saved the nurses line into my phone and I find it pressing call. Adam is on the sofa and looks over at me as I walk to the fridge. "Hi, my girlfriend is a patient of Dr. Davis and she's not feeling well," I say when the nurses line picks up. Now Adam looks over at me with a worried expression.

"Not feeling well how Sir?" The nurse asks.

"I'm not really sure, she has a mitro-valve prolapse and she was having palpitations, she might still be. She's pale and said her stomach was hurting," I respond getting the water bottle from the fridge. I turn going back downstairs and Adam is already on the sofa with Clare.

"Is she having cramps?" The nurse asks.

"I don't know," I reply getting agitated and worried.

"Okay Dr. Davis is on shift at the hospital, take her to emergency and tell them you're there to see Dr. Davis. They'll take you up to maternity," the nurse says.

I tell her thanks and hang up, "Dr. Davis is on shift at the hospital they said to just go to emergency."

"I'm going with you," Adam asserts but I already knew he would.

I get Clare and Adam runs upstairs to get his shoes on, then he drives to the hospital while I hold Clare in the backseat.

**(CLARE)**

I sat on the exam table in the maternity ward with Drew behind me, his arms around me and holding me tightly. He was trying not to show it but he was very worried. Adam sat in a chair watching us, he was worried too and I could sense how helpless they both felt. I turned my head to give Drew a soft kiss on his jaw, and then smiled at Adam. We'd only been here a few minutes, long enough for us to check in, be shown to an exam room and for me to change into a gown. So I expected us to have to wait a while longer before Dr. Davis came in but there was a knock at the door and Adam got up to open it.

"Hello Clare, Drew I hear you aren't feeling well Clare, and who is this?" Dr. Davis questions smiling at Adam and pulling my chart from the door.

"This is my brother Adam and Clare's best friend," Drew says.

"Nice to meet you Adam, so Clare are you still experiencing palpitations?" Dr. Davis asks.

"No they finally stopped," I reply.

"Okay you do look fairly pale, you've been taking your iron supplement?" She asks.

"Yes I make sure of it," Drew tells her.

"Good and the stomach pains you were having, were they more like indigestion pains or cramps?" Dr. Davis inquires.

"Cramps, like mild cramps," I reply.

"Okay, Dad I'm going to have you hop off the table so I can examine Clare," she says to Drew. He kisses my temple and gets down but stands by my side and holds my hand. I lie back and Dr. Davis pulls up my gown, it doesn't even bother me that Adam's here, he just stands by Drew and smiles at me. Dr. Davis starts by feeling my stomach and asking where I felt the cramps, and then she turns on the sonogram machine and puts the cold gel on my belly. She's quiet for a while as she moves the wand all over my lower belly. "You have placenta previa Clare, the placenta is sitting low and blocking the cervix entrance, you're at level three," Dr. Davis says after a while.

"What does that mean for Clare and the baby?" Drew questions swallowing hard and squeezing my hand.

"It's pretty rare especially with someone your age and with first time pregnancies, but not all together unheard of. What it means for mom and baby is that if it stays where it is you'll need to have a caesarian section to deliver. However in most cases the placenta will move up with the uterus as it grows so don't stress over it just yet. Given your age, the fact that this is your first pregnancy and you're not pregnant with multiples I'd say the placenta will move up as the uterus grows; we'll continue to check the progress with scans at your appointments. We'll keep an eye on it like with everything else we're keeping an eye on. You may still get cramps and there is a possibility that you'll have some bleeding, there are lots of reasons that you might have vaginal bleeding during pregnancy but if you do have any amount of bleeding I want you to come in. Everything else looks good, the baby is developing well. I want you to keep your appointment in two weeksand I'm going to send you up to cardiology for an EKG just to be safe and then you should be able to go home. Do you have any questions for me?" She asks making some notations in my chart.

"Will this affect what she can do? How much will she bleed?" Drew questions.

"Same precautions as before, you just need to listen to your body Clare and rest if you need to. You can still go to school, light exercise is good, and you will have to refrain from sexual activity. As I said there is still a good chance that the placenta will move up but until then no sex or penetration of any women don't bleed at all and others have heavy bleeding so there is no norm for bleeding with placenta previa. It's important to remember that there are several reasons pregnant women bleed and if you do start bleeding come in right away so we can determine the cause."

Dr. Davis asks if we have any more questions and we all shake our heads. I feel like I do have questions but I can't think of any just now. She says she'll send and orderly with a wheelchair, I can go ahead and get dressed again and that she'll see us at my appointment before she leaves.

"I'll wait outside while you're getting dressed," Adam says when Dr. Davis is gone.

I smile at him and Drew helps me down from the table, I take off my gown and he hand my clothes to me. I can see the fear in Drew's eyes, the anxiety, he's tense and worried and it's making me tense and worried so I loop my arms around his neck and place a soft kiss on his lip. He relaxes and gives me a grin.

"Sorry, I'm trying not to worry but a C-section and possibly bleeding just sounds so bad," he apologizes as I finish getting dressed.

"I know and it's okay to worry, I'm worried too but if we spend all our time worried that something's going to go wrong then something will go wrong. Let's just get me through the EKG so I can go home and rest again," I tell him.

He smiles and opens the door so Adam can come back in, Drew sits in a chair and I sit in his lap until the orderly comes in with a wheelchair. I'm taken up to cardiology for a quick EKG but they tell me everything looks fine, discharge me and we go home. The three of us go in through the basement and sit on the sofa, Drew puts on the TV again but none of us are really watching. Despite my assurances to Drew earlier I'm worried and not following my own advice. I can't stop thinking about it and the more I think about it the more worried I become. I'm sitting between Drew and Adam, Drew's arm around me and my head on his shoulder. As comforting as Drew's arms are the tears suddenly spill out. Even though I can't see them through the tears, and my hands covering my eyes, I know both Drew and Adam are looking at me.

"Clare what's wrong?" Adam asks first putting a hand on my arm.

"Clare talk to us," Drew pleads but the tears are coming to strong and I can't speak yet. I turn into Drew more, putting my arms around his neck and sobbing on his chest. He holds me tight and Adam rubs my back in gentle circles. "Clare what is it? Are you in pain should we go back to the hospital?" Drew asks with anxious agony in his voice.

I shake my head against his chest and take a couple deep breaths so I can speak. "No it's not that I just…" I bite my lip trying to put into words what I'm feeling, why I'm crying the way I am. "I feel like a bad mom," I finally say.

"Clare what do you mean? The baby isn't even born yet and you're going to be a great mom," Adam says in a reassuring voice.

"But my body is supposed to be sustaining it, my body is supposed to be a safe place for it and it's not, I'm not. Not well enough anyway, every time we go in there seems to be something else wrong. If I can't even support my child before it's born what kind of mother will I be after it's born? I'm defective," I bemoan.

"No you aren't," Drew says firmly, "you are Clare Edwards My Shining Jewel and you are a good mom, you'll be a great mom after the baby is born. This isn't all your fault Clare, if I hadn't reacted the way I had when I found out that you were pregnant then you wouldn't have spent the first several months of your pregnancy totally stressed out. Your body is supporting the baby Clare, you aren't having an easy pregnancy but the doctor said the baby was fine and developing good."

"She also said the baby was small," I remind him.

"So are you," he responds with a slightly teasing tone.

"Drew's right, you said yourself that the heart mummer was something you probably already had, and the anemia is common. You're young, still developing, pregnancy is hard on a body and you didn't have an easy time of it to begin with. Don't stress more than you have to, we already know that's not good for the baby or for you. If it had been serious, if your body was failing to support your baby you would have been kept in the hospital." Adam pauses for a second as he seems to considering if he should say what he's thinking. "Or you would have miscarried but don't freak out about that, I'm sure you won't miscarry," he adds quickly.

"No more tears okay? The baby is okay, you're okay we're going to be fine, all of us. You should eat again, you didn't eat much at the picnic," Drew says.

"I'll get us a snack and see who else is home so I can tell them that way you don't have to," Adam offers. I smile at my best friend; he grins back gets up and goes upstairs.

"Clare you're not defective, your body has been under a lot of stress and not just from the beginning of the pregnancy. Don't ever think of yourself that way again, you are beautiful, graceful, smart, generous, kind, slightly neurotic," Drew says and I laugh, "and the most amazing person I know and you are going to pass that all on to our child."

I pick my head up and lock eyes with Drew, he grins at me reassuringly while his eyes convey so much love for me. "I love you Andrew Torres," I whisper and join my lips with his.

I don't know what will happen, what our future will hold for us but I know that no matter what I'll have Drew with me.

**Update next Tuesday starting with the BBQ.**


	14. Just Hang on & You'll See

**Announcement: Due to some things in the real world regular long stories will not be updated next week. That means that "He Touched Me & I Let Him Love Me", "How'd I Let You Slip Away", "Like I'm Your Lover or More Like Your Ghost", "Best Served Hot" and "Ghosts of Who We Were" will not be posted next week. The two extra stories, "It's Euphoria, It's Anger" and "Walking Through Fire without a Burn" chapter 2 will be posted on the weekend instead of Thursday and Friday. The regular schedule will resume Monday May 12th with "He Touched Me & I Let Him Love Me" getting a new chapter.**

**Ch. 14 Just Hang on & You'll See**

**(CLARE)**

"You expect me to just sit here while you guys do all the set up?" I question Drew as he sits me on the outside bench; he even put down pillows and a blanket to make it more comfortable.

"I want you to rest and be healthy, everyone's coming to this thing to see you. You're the queen, you sit on your thrown and greet everyone," Drew tells me.

I twist my mouth at him but he only kisses my lips. He leaves me to continue helping to set up for the BBQ, of course Adam and Dallas are also helping. Pretty soon the Torres yard would be full of kids as pretty much everyone we knew was coming. I hated sitting around and watching everyone work, I felt kind of useless, but no one was going to let me do anything so I settled into it and watched the others. Fitz and Meghan are the first to arrive and I'm happy to have some company.

"Hey you look much better," Meghan smiles as she and Fitz hug me.

"Yes I've been feeling pretty good, of course Drew doesn't let me do anything, neither does anyone else really," I grumble slightly.

"That's because you need to take it easy," Adam quips as he joins us, "hey Fitz," Adam nods to his former tormentor.

"Hi Adam, this is my girlfriend Meghan. Adam is Drew's younger brother," Fitz introduces them.

Meghan smiles at Adam and they say nice to meet you, then Drew comes over with Dallas and he meets Meghan and Fitz. While they're still greeting each other I get up to hug Owen who just arrived with Stacey, Cam and Tris.

"Stacey this is Fitz, he and Owen were really good friends a couple of years ago and this Fitz's girlfriend Meghan."

The girls say hi and hit it off right away as they start talking and walk off leaving their boyfriends. Fitz and Owen are talking now too; seem to be rehashing stories about their days in the ravine. Drew and Adam are setting up chairs and I almost sit back down but then I see Luke and Becky approaching. I hug them and just as they walk off to greet the others Eli comes so I hug him.

"I thought you were supposed to stay off your feet?" He scolds me.

"Not off my feet exactly just gotta take it easy," I respond.

He hugs me and makes me sit on the bench again and he stays with me until Drew comes over and takes his place. I greet the rest of the guests from the bench and everyone comes to me. Lucas, Owen, Stacey, Luke, Becky, Adam, Fitz, Meghan, Eli, Bianca and Dallas all pull up chairs to eat near me. Drew of course sits on the bench with me after getting me a plate. When I'm done eating I toss my plate and go in to use the washroom. When I go back outside Drew is deep in conversation with Dallas, Bianca, Owen, Zig and Lucas. Fitz, Meghan, Luke and Becky are talking. Adam, Eli, Tris and Tori have moved to one side of the yard. Jake, Mo, Katie, Fiona and Imogen are at the other end. Glen, Audra, Omar and the other adults are still sitting near the BBQ. I am tired of sitting so I decide to walk through the yard a bit while everyone is distracted and talking. I only make it around once because Drew grabs me when I pass behind the bench.

"Sit," he says.

"I'm tired of sitting and I need to get some exercise," I remind him.

"Why don't we all walk up the block and back, Clare should be able to make that and it will help all of us digest our food," Stacey suggests.

"Okay we'll walk up the street, who's coming?" Drew asks.

Owen, Stacey, Fitz and Meghan all stand up Drew puts his arm around me and the six of us start walking. Owen and Stacey take the lead, they're holding hands and their arms swaying as they walk, they keep a steady and slow pace so that we don't go too fast. Drew and I are in the middle, his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist. I turn my head a little to look at Fitz and Meghan behind us, he has his arm around her shoulders and she's holding his hand.

"Have you guys applied to any schools?" I ask the seniors, I already know Drew hasn't applied anywhere and Meghan's a junior like me.

"York and U of T, I'm staying close to home to keep an eye on my brother," Owen tells me.

"I dropped out but Meghan's helping me get my GED and then I might try and apply to schools," Fitz replies.

"I'm taking next year off to work and save up," Stacey tells us.

"Well good then you'll all be here next year," I grin.

"Yep and I for one will be happy to babysit if you need it," Meghan offers.

"Thanks I'm sure we will," I smile.

"You know the six of us should have dinner or something," Owen comments after a minute.

"I'm sure we'll have lots of time to hang out this summer," Stacey points out.

"Summer's far," Owen grumbles, Stacey laughs and tickles his side making Owen jump then he smiles and kisses her.

We walk to the end of the block and then back to the BBQ, Drew makes me sit down again, and he gets us some water and joins me on the bench again. Dessert is being served, Owen brings us some, and he and Stacey eat with us. The BBQ continues on into the night and I talk to everyone. It's nearly ten before Glen and Jake leave, they're the last guests to leave but they did stay to help clean up, I wasn't allowed of course. It's now almost eleven, Drew and I are lying in bed, we're ready for bed, the lights are off and we should be asleep but there's one little problem.

"What's the matter?" Drew asks when I change position for the fifth time in about ten minutes.

"I'm horny and the doctor said we couldn't have sex, I can't orgasm at all because it could start contractions," I whine.

"Sorry I know that must be hard, why don't you lay on your side and I'll rub you," Drew suggests.

"It's not the same," I complain with a pout.

"I know it's not the same but it will help you get to sleep," he responds.

I sit up to place a soft kiss on Drew's lips and then turn on my side, one leg bent up a little. Drew sits up and starts rubbing my back, neck and shoulders, it's relaxing and while it's not climaxing after Drew rubs me for a while I start to fall asleep.

"I love you Drew," I whisper just before falling asleep.

"I love you too My Shining Jewel," he whispers back.

I'm asleep within a few seconds and I have happy dreams all night of Drew and I welcoming our new baby to the world.

**(DREW)**

"You told Principal Simpson that you had a prenatal appointment and would have to miss part of your classes?" Mom asks at the breakfast table.

It's been about ten days since the BBQ, Clare and I have been spending a lot of time with Owen, Stacey, Fitz and Meghan since then. Today is Tuesday May 3rd and Clare has a prenatal appointment at 11:30 which is right in the middle of school but with all her complications we have to keep all her appointments.

"Yes Mom we told him on Monday, but we have a spare period after lunch anyway and I doubt the appointment will go that long," I assure my mom.

"Make sure you both get your homework if you miss a class," Mom says.

"Mom," I sigh with slight aggravation.

"We better get to school anyway," Dallas comments nodding to the clock and I stand up grabbing my backpack and Clare's.

We say goodbye to my mom and go out to my car, I drive us to school and park next to Bianca's car. Adam gets Clare's backpack as we walk to the front, Dallas leaves us for his team but Adam stays with us. We go to their lockers first and then mine before I walk them both to class since they have homeroom together, I kiss Clare at the door and tell her I'll get see her at lunch when we have to leave for our appointment. Math and business leadership go by slowly but I'm anxious to get to the appointment, anxious and petrified. I want to know that nothing else is wrong and Clare's going to be okay, I'm also worried that we'll find some new complication this time. At lunch I pick Clare up from parenting class, she's walking out with Owen and he has her backpack, I wave to him and my brother then Clare and I walk back out to my car. She's a little tense for the whole drive and I know she's worried too, I reach over and take her hand interlacing our fingers and she smiles at me.

"It'll be fine, we can handle anything, besides we probably get to find out if it's a boy or girl today," I remind her.

"I know," she says trying not to look worried but I can feel that she is. Not that I blame her, this whole pregnancy has gone wrong from the start, a lot of which was my fault.

I park at the doctor's office and run around to the other side of the car putting my arm around Clare and we walk in together. The receptionist greets us; we check in and wait in the waiting room a few minutes before we're shown back to a room. Clare is told to change into a gown, she does so and then a nurse knocks on the door, she gets Clare's blood pressure and weight then draws some blood. When the nurse leaves Clare lies back on the exam table and I stand at her side holding her hand. After another few minutes there's a knock at the door and Dr. Davis comes in.

"Hi Clare, Drew it's nice to see you again. How have you been feeling Clare?" Dr. Davis asks.

"Pretty good, I've been resting a lot, Drew hardly lets me do anything," Clare tells her.

"That's good you need to take it easy, have you had any cramps or abdominal pains?" She questions and Clare shakes her head. "Alright let's get a look here," she says lifting Clare's gown and pulling Clare's panties down just a bit. She puts the gel on Clare's belly and turns on the sonogram machine. A picture appears on screen of our baby and I smile squeezing Clare's hand. Clare looks over to smile before looking back at the screen as Dr. Davis starts talking. "The baby is still developing well, she'll be pretty small but she's healthy and developing well," Dr. Davis tells us.

"She?!" Clare and I exclaim at the same time and Dr. Davis smiles.

"Yes you're having a girl, you can see at this angle," Dr. Davis tells us moving the wand again so we can see. Dr. Davis asks us several more questions and does a full physical exam on Clare before a nurse comes in handing Dr. Davis some papers. "You're blood test looks good but your iron levels are still pretty low so we'll keep you on the same dose of your iron supplement. You haven't gained any weight since your last appointment but I don't think you will gain many pounds. So make sure your diet stays healthy, if you have any bleeding at all especially with cramping come in right away. Make an appointment for three weeks," Dr. Davis tells us.

When she's out of the room I help Clare get dressed again before we go to the reception desk and make an appointment.

"We're having a girl and she's beautiful," I grin when we're in my car and driving back to school.

"Drew all we've seen is the shadowy pictures from the sonogram," Clare laughs.

"She's our daughter, how can she not be beautiful with a gorgeous mom like you and the handsomest guy in school as her dad," I reply.

"And the cockiest," she laughs, "but yes she'll be beautiful."

I grin and kiss Clare softly when we pull up at a stop light. We drive back to school, Clare is silent and gazing out the window like she's thinking about something.

"You okay?" I question when we park at the school. Classes have already started again but Clare and I have a spare period after lunch anyway.

"Yeah I'm fine just thinking," she says putting her hand on her belly.

"Thinking about what?" I question unbuckling my seatbelt then taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

"I don't know just worried I guess," she replies.

"About what? Dr. Davis said everything looked good, we're having a daughter and she's developing beautifully. We know that there's difficulties with the pregnancy and we're taking care of them. You're going to be fine, our daughter is going to be fine," I assure her.

"I know, I'm just…" she pauses biting her lip, looking at me and smiling, "never mind it's nothing we should get inside."

"Clare," I say in an admonishing tone because she's not talking.

"It's nothing Drew really, I was just worried about all the pink baby clothes we're sure to get," she tells me and then kisses me quickly before I can respond.

"Alright let's go tell my brother he's getting a niece," I remark getting out of the car. "We can tell Owen, Dallas and B too since they have their spare period now."

We find them all together, sitting outside at a picnic table so we join them.

"How was the appointment?" Adam questions.

"It was good, we didn't hear about any other complications and we found out we're having a girl," Clare tells them.

"SWEET!" Owen grins.

"Aww she's going to be a little princess and as soon as she can walk I'm going to teach her to kick butt," Bianca replies.

"Mom's gonna buy her a whole bunch of little dresses, she finally has another girl to dress up," Adam comments and we all laugh.

"Yeah she'll probably buy her a little tiara and everything," I comment but I'm not joking.

"Hey is everyone coming to my birthday on Saturday?" Owen asks.

"We'll be there," I say for me and Clare.

"We'll be there Owen," Bianca smiles.

"Yep me too with Becky and I know Luke's coming," Adam says.

We talk a bit more, mostly about Owen's birthday party, until the bell rings then we walk inside. Clare and I visit our lockers for our backpacks and I walk her to class. I set her backpack down, give her a tender kiss and head for my own class. When school gets out I go to Clare's class to pick her up, Adam meets us on the steps and I drive us home. We start on our homework, Adam comes down to the basement with us and does his homework, the basement is mine and Clare's apartment now but everyone still hangs out down here.

"How was the appointment?" Mom asks when she gets home.

"No new complications and you're having a granddaughter," I tell her and Mom lights up.

"Oh a baby girl! It will be wonderful to have a baby girl again. We can get pink bedding for the crib and a purple stroller, we'll decorate the nursery in…" Mom says excitedly as she walks up the stairs.

"Oh boy," Adam says rolling his eyes.

"Well at least one of the grandparents is excited about having a granddaughter," Clare sighs.

"We could call Jake and Glen, I bet they'll be excited," I offer.

"We'll tell Jake tomorrow and he can tell his dad, I'm going to take a nap before dinner," Clare says.

"You feeling alright?" I question and I know I sound worried because I am.

"I'm okay, a few palpitations making me woozy and it's been a long day. I just want to rest for a bit," Clare assures me.

"You want me to lay down with you?" I ask.

"No I'm just going to lie on the sofa, really Drew I'm okay," she replies.

She takes my lips for a fervent loving kiss, then she gets up from between me and Adam lying on the chaise part of the sofa. I watch her for a few minutes, she doesn't actually fall asleep just lies there watching TV and resting. When she notices me we watching her she looks up and smiles at me mouthing the words, "I love you."

**(CLARE)**

Drew parks at Owen's house and we get out of the car, he grabs Owen's present from the backseat while I start walking to the front door. I ring the bell and Drew runs up to join me just as Tris opens the door.

"Hey guys, come on in everyone is outback," Tris tells us stepping aside so we can come in.

Drew seta Owen's present on the table with his others; his mom is in the kitchen and looks over at us. I've only seen Owen's parents at his championship game since I got back together with Drew. We weren't sitting together at the game and I didn't actually talk to them. Owen said he explained everything and his parents understood, the certainly didn't want him to be a teen dad and they really liked Stacey, still I felt bad that we had deceived them so long.

"Hi Clare it's nice to see you again Honey," Lydia says hugging me and smiling at Drew. "You too Drew and I hear you're having a girl," Lydia comments hugging Drew.

"It's nice to see you again too Lydia and yes we're having a girl," I reply putting my hand on my stomach.

"Congratulations and I am glad you two got back together and are raising the baby together. Well everyone's out back for dinner," Lydia tells us going back into the kitchen.

We smile and go out to the backyard, we're the last to arrive because I fell asleep this afternoon and Drew didn't want to wake me.

"Trying to ditch my party?" Owen teases coming over to hug us.

"It's my fault I took a nap and Drew didn't want to wake me," I apologize hugging him tightly.

"I'm just teasing, Drew called and I knew you'd be late, besides you need your rest. You hungry? Dad's got burgers and chicken on the grill and mom went all out on food," Owen says.

"Yeah I'm a little hungry," I reply.

"I'll get us food, you go say hi to everyone, I'm sure that everyone will want to touch your belly and tell us how excited they are that we're having a girl," Drew tells me.

I kiss his cheek, Owen let's go of me and I start mingling, I know everyone here but I decide to start with Adam and Becky. I say hi and hug them then Dallas and Bianca before sitting down with Meghan and Fitz. Drew joins with me with two plates of food and we begin eating, Owen and Stacey join us with food after a few minutes. Thankfully the four of them know not to ask me how I'm feeling or how much fun we'll have raising a girl, or how difficult it will be to raise a girl because that seems like all I've talked about with anyone since finding out we were having a girl. That or asking what we're going to name her and I just found out I'm having a girl.

"You have other plans for the weekend Clare?" Meghan asks.

"We're having brunch with Jake and Glen tomorrow morning but that's about it," I reply.

"I take it your mom doesn't know about this brunch," Owen remarks.

"Oh she knows, she's not coming, in Helen's little world we don't exist," Drew responds gritting his teeth.

"I'm sorry it must be hard not to have your mom supporting you through this," Meghan comments.

"Well she's never really been there for me or my sister that I can remember. Mom's always been sort of in her own little world," I tell her.

Stacey asks where my sister is and I tell them how she ended up in Africa and that she stayed there. At least though she knows about the pregnancy and is not flipping out or turning her back on me. After that talk becomes all about summer plans and prom. After eating I use the washroom and Lucas finds me, he hugs me tight and we start talking, staying inside because it's actually quitter in here. We're still talking when Owen comes in followed by everyone else so he can open his presents. Drew puts his arm around me and we sit on one of the big arm chairs to watch Owen open his presents. After presents we go back outside for cake.

"Why don't you feed me the cake babe," Owen suggests to Stacey.

"Sure," Stacey grins taking a handful of cake and smashing it onto Owen's mouth.

She starts giggling and then runs when he tries to put cake on her. It takes all of about half a second for it to become a food fight and within a few minutes the entire party is covered in cake. I do mean the entire party including Owen's parents but we're all laughing hard and nobody cares that we didn't actually eat the cake. Drew and I decide to go home after the cake fight however as we need to shower now. I have cake in places it simply shouldn't be. We wish Owen a happy birthday again say goodnight to everyone. Drew drives us home and we go in through our entrance and straight to the washroom. Drew turns on the shower and we start undressing then both get in the shower and rinse off. Drew gets out and I see that he's aroused; it's fairly hard to hide.

"You know I can't have sex, or orgasm at all, but I can take care of you," I offer to Drew.

"No, I'll take care of it," he tells me.

"Drew you're horny and I can…"

"No," Drew says interrupting me and turning to face me, he takes both my hands, interlacing our fingers. "You are My Shining Jewel not my sex doll; I can take care of myself. I'm not going to have you on your knees every time I get horny; I'm a teenage guy I get horny every few minutes. I'm fine, the most important thing is that you stay healthy and deliver us a beautiful healthy baby girl," Drew asserts.

I open my mouth to argue but Drew gives me a passionate kiss and tells me to go get in bed. I see no more point in arguing so I give in and leave the washroom for our bedroom. After putting on one of Drew's shirts to sleep in I get in bed, it's about ten minutes before Drew joins me. He wraps his arms around me kissing my jaw and tells me he loves me. I nuzzle into him and fall asleep happily ensconced in Drew's arms. Some hours later I wake up with jolt, sitting up rapidly from Drew's arms and taking deep shaky breaths.

"Clare are you okay?" Drew asks sitting up and putting his arms around me.

"Yeah it was just a bad dream go back to sleep," I tell him.

"What was the dream about?" Drew questions kissing my shoulder.

"We lost the baby," I tell him wiping the tears that crawl from my eyes.

"We're not going to lose the baby Clare," Drew says turning me to face him and capturing a kiss.

"You can't know that Drew, I've had nothing but problems, what if I'm not strong enough to hold this pregnancy."

"Yes you are Clare, we're going to have a beautiful baby girl and you're both going to be fine. It was just a nightmare, I read that pregnant women have nightmares," Drew assures me.

"You read?" I tease him.

"It's been known to happen," he chides back resting his chin on my shoulder. "It was just a nightmare Clare, you're going to be okay, our daughter is going to be okay. Come on let's get back to sleep," Drew asserts pulling me down to lie down with him.

I turn on my side and cuddle into him, "Drew do you really think we can do this?"

"I really do Clare."

**Remember long stories will not be updated next week so the next update for this story will be Tuesday May 13****th****.**


	15. If I'm Wrong I'm Right

**I caught up with recent guest reviews, especially last nights so please check my profile page.**

**Possible trigger warnings for this chapter.**

**Ch. 15 If I'm Wrong I'm Right**

**(CLARE)**

Drew's alarm wakes us up to get ready for school, he groans but gets out of bed and heads straight for the washroom like every morning. I sit up and feel weird; there are no words to describe it other than weird. I'm not in pain and I don't feel dizzy but it's like I'm hypersensitive, even the feeling of Drew's shirt that I slept in feels wrong. I take it off and drop it to the ground just as Drew comes back from the washroom.

"Ooh naked girlfriend!" He exclaims and comes over barely putting his hands on my arms and I jump shrugging him off. "You can't be mad at me yet I haven't done anything," he complains at my reactions to his touch.

"I'm not mad at you Drew I just don't feel like being touched," I reply.

"Are you okay? Should we stay home?" He questions instantly getting worried.

"I'm fine it's probably just a hormone imbalance or indigestion or something, and I'm not missing school," I reply getting out the softest cotton dress I own along with panties and a bra to wear with it.

"I can skip the field trip," Drew offers.

"Drew you have to go on the field trip," I reply.

His business leadership class was going on a field trip to Kronos to meet with the CEO and get a tour. They were going to be gone all period and most of lunch too, it was also an extremely important field trip for his class.

"But I'll be gone for most of lunch," he points out.

"Drew you have to go on the field trip, really I'm okay I'm not in pain and it's not that I don't feel well I just don't feel…right," I assure him after searching for an appropriate word but not finding one and settle on right. "Anyway I can eat with Adam and Eli or Owen and Dallas," I point out. Bianca would be with Drew on the field trip since they have the class together.

"You sure you're not in pain? Have you checked for blood?" Drew questions rapidly and I put my hand on his arm.

"I'm not bleeding and I'm not in pain, I'm fine it's some new pregnant sensation I'm sure that's all. If I feel pain or notice bleeding I promise I will get someone to take me to the hospital don't worry," I assuage the very worried father of our child.

"Worry is all I've done since I found out you were pregnant but okay if you say it's nothing I'll believe you. If it becomes something you better say something though," he asserts.

"I promise Drew," I tell him kissing his cheek, my lips feel the stubble because he hasn't shaven yet and it feels like tiny little blades cutting into my lips. I take my lips from his stubbled cheek and walk to the washroom to dress and get ready for school. I do check for blood in my underwear but see none and I'm positive it's just hormones or something. When I get out Drew is already dressed and upstairs eating breakfast. I'm not hungry so I start gathering books to put in my backpack but after a few minutes Drew comes back downstairs.

"Clare you need to eat," he says with a slightly admonishing tone.

"I'm not hungry," I shake my head.

"Shining Jewel of my life what's the matter?" He asks reaching out to caress my cheek but I flinch away. "Clare something is wrong you won't even let me touch you," he comments and sounds agonized by concern and whatever thoughts are going on in his head.

"I'm just hypersensitive, that's not something the doctor said to look for and worry about so don't worry. I'm okay Drew I'm telling you it's just an imbalanced emotional cocktail happening inside me right now. It will pass and I'll want to be in your arms again," I assert.

"Okay," he sighs, "I have to finish getting ready for school please try and eat something."

I tell him I will and he watches me go upstairs before he goes into the washroom. When I get upstairs Adam and Dallas are eating, both have huge bowls of cereal. I look through the cupboards and the refrigerator before taking out a strawberry, washing it and taking a bite.

"Clare that is not breakfast," Adam scolds.

"I'm not hungry, Drew said to eat something and I did," I retort.

"Drew said you weren't feeling well are you sure you want to go to school?" Adam asks as I toss the strawberry stem.

"I feel fine just…off, but not dizzy or anything and yes I'm going to school. I already promised Drew that I would go to the hospital if it turned into anything," I inform them and they both shrug.

Both Adam and Dallas are ready for school so we're just waiting for Drew; he comes upstairs a few minutes later with both our backpacks, he makes me take my medications as soon as he's in the kitchen. Adam and Dallas are rinsing their dishes and when they put them in the dishwasher we call goodbye to Audra and leave. Drew drives us to school and keeps glancing at me so I finally take his hand to keep him from being a nervous wreck all day.

"You guys will watch her at lunch won't you?" Drew requests to his brother and billet brother in the backseat.

"Duh," is Adam's response.

"Dude of course, she can eat with the two of us and Owen," Dallas says.

"Drew I'm okay but if you worry about me all day then you'll end up in the hospital," I tell him.

"I'm sorry I know it drives you crazy when I worry like this but I can't help it," he replies but refrains from squeezing my hand even though I can feel his fingers twitching like they want to. I lean over and kiss his cheek, the seat belt scratches against my chest and I almost scream but manage not to. At least Drew shaved so his skin is nice and soft again. Drew parks at school and the four of us walk in with Drew carrying my backpack of course.

"I'm going to class," I announce when we're inside.

"I'll take her since we have the same homeroom," Adam comments.

"I'll find you as soon as I'm back from the field trip," Drew says. He reaches out to bring me to him for a kiss but I flinch again and he puts his hands up. I give him a quick kiss and walk off with Adam.

"He means well," Adam says as we walk to class.

"I know he does," I smile.

We get to class early and I cannot get comfortable, Adam talks to me to try and get my mind off it but it doesn't really work. I'm uncomfortable all through class and when it's over I'm so happy to be out of my chair. I wonder if the teacher will let me stand for all of parenting class? Adam grabs my backpack and we start walking for parenting class which we also have together. As we're walking my phone alerts me to a text and Adam stops walking so I can get it from my backpack.

**Drew: Getting on bus for fieldtrip I love you.**

**Clare: I love you too and don't worry I'm fine.**

Adam puts down our backpacks when we get to class and I put my phone in the pocket but don't sit down. Adam wrinkles his forehead at me for my odd behavior so I smile to assure him I'm okay.

"Dallas said you weren't feeling well," Owen says as he comes into class with Luke and Becky.

"No I feel fine just hypersensitive right now," I respond.

"Really because you look kind of pale, you didn't faint again did you?" Owen asks.

"No," I tell him.

"She took her iron pill," Adam tells him as Owen reaches out to feel my forehead and as soon as his skin touches mine I flinch away. Owen recoils and pinches his eyebrows together at me.

"I just don't want to be touched, I'm not even comfortable in the clothes I'm wearing and sitting last period was excruciating," I explain.

"Is that why Drew couldn't touch you this morning?" Adam questions and I nod then gasp and recoil like I was shocked when Owen gently touches my arm. He was gentle but the touch was painful in an odd way and sent a sort of wave of discomfort through my abdomen.

"That's it I'm taking you to the hospital," Owen proclaims.

"Owen I'm fine I…"

"No you're not," he cuts me off, "get in the damn car we're going. Adam you come with us, Becky tell Simpson we're taking Clare to the hospital to be cautious," he emphasizes the word cautious while looking at me so that I won't protest or argue. "Luke call Drew and let him know, make sure he knows that we don't know anything is wrong but I would rather go and have them send us home because she's fine than take the chance. If you can't get a hold of Drew call Dallas and have him call B. We'll call or text once we know anything," Owen says.

"Yeah," Luke nods getting out his phone while Becky runs for the office.

Owen waves his arm for me to leave the classroom so I walk out with him and Adam behind me. I'm certain that we'll get to the ER; I'll waste an hour getting checked in and everything to be told I'm fine and sent home. Still Owen is right it's better to be sure than to risk that something might be wrong. The three of us walk out to Owen's car, I get in the passenger seat and he speeds to the hospital running two red lights. I yell at him after the first one but he says he's rushing a pregnant woman to the hospital and therefor has a perfectly valid excuse to speed. We park at the hospital and get out then Owen's phone rings and he puts it on speaker as the three of us are walking in.

"Hey Luke," Owen says.

"It's me and Dallas, Becks too, we can't get a hold of Drew or Bianca their phones are off. We both left messages though," Luke tells us.

"I told Simpson he said to keep him informed," Becky pipes up.

"Okay thanks we just got here, you three go back to class but keep your phones handy I'll text Luke and Dallas when we know anything," Owen responds.

They say okay and hang up and we walk in the emergency entrance, Owen tells them I'm pregnant and not feeling well.

"Not feeling well how?" The nurse asks while typing something on the computer.

"Just off, I don't want to be touched and my skin is super sensitive," I tell her.

To my surprise I'm not checked in but an orderly appears with a wheelchair and I'm told that I'll be taken up to maternity. I sit in the wheelchair and the orderly starts pushing me to the elevator, Owen and Adam following of course.

"Is one of you the Dad?" Asks the orderly and both Owen and Adam shake their head.

"I'm a very close friend to Clare and the expectant father, Adam is the expectant uncle," Owen explains.

"Okay well we'll get her into a room and she'll start getting checked out as we check her in. You can both be in the room so long as it's okay with Clare. If everything's okay with the baby then we'll send her back downstairs to the ER if necessary," the orderly explains.

"Yes I'd like them both in the room with me," I reply starting to get just a little bit worried.

The elevator door dings and the orderly wheels me out, down the hall and into an exam room. I get out of the wheelchair and he hands me a hospital gown telling me to change into it and that a doctor will be in shortly. Owen and Adam both turn their backs while I change; both are on their phones most likely texting Dallas and Luke what's going on. After I'm changed I tell the boys they can turn around again as I get on the exam table. They turn around and sit down in the two chairs against the wall. I expect it to take a while but a doctor comes in almost immediately. A short woman with short dark blonde hair enters after knocking.

"Hi Clare, I see Dr. Davis is your doctor, I'm Doctor Cooper," she introduces herself.

"Hi this is my best friend Adam, also the soon to be uncle and our very good friend Owen," I tell her.

"It's nice to meet you all, okay why don't you lie back Clare and I'm going to take a look and make sure everything is okay with your baby," Dr. Cooper says and I lie back as she turns on a couple of machines. "I see you're having a girl have you picked out a name yet?" She asks as she lifts my gown to expose my belly.

"No we haven't even talked about it much," I tell her as she puts a large belt over my belly and looks at a monitor.

"That's alright; many parents don't name their children until after their born. Have you felt any pain this morning Clare?" She inquires.

"No, no pain at all just felt off," I respond.

"I'm going to leave this on but I'm going to get an ultrasound so we can see the baby and see how your placenta previa is doing. Boys why don't you come over here and stand by Clare's head so you can see the monitor," Dr. Cooper suggests as she stands up. The guys get up walking to the other side of the exam table and she puts on the ultrasound machine and grabs the cold gel. She also gets a blanket out of closet and sets it on the exam table. "Okay Clare can you bend up your legs I'm going to drape the blanket over your legs so I can get your underwear off and do an internal in a minute," Dr. Cooper says and I bend my knees then she lays the blankets over my knees. Dr. cooper squirts some of the gel on my belly and I hiss at the cold sensation. The doctor starts moving the wand over the gel and looking at the monitor, "There she is," the doctor tells us looking at Adam and Owen so they can see the baby on the monitor.

"Dude it's a baby," Owen exclaims and it makes me smile.

"Aww niece," Adam grins.

"Your placenta has moved up a little but you still have partial previa," the doc says turning off the ultrasound machine again and setting the wand down. She then moves on her little rolling stool to the end of the exam table again. "Alright Clare if you extend your feet a little you can get them in the stirrups, don't worry we'll keep the blanket over your legs and I'll go under it," Dr. Cooper assures me.

"We could just leave the room," Owen suggests.

"No please stay," I insist grabbing his wrist as I don't want them to go and I get an odd feeling in my stomach.

The doctor looks under the blanket and then gets up and presses a button on the wall, she moved rather rapidly and now we're all looking at her.

"What's wrong?" Adam questions.

"You're in labor Clare," Dr. Cooper says and my heart gets tight as tears crowd my eyes and a nurse comes in.

"What?!" I exclaim more frightened than I have ever been. "No I can't be I'm only 22 weeks," I argue as I start shaking slightly and Owen puts his arm around my shoulders.

"You're in preterm labor, you're having contractions and had they continued they would have become painful. Because of your placenta previa you're also bleeding a…"

"BLEEDING!" Owen and Adam yell before she can continue.

"It's actually fairly minor, she's not hemorrhaging so don't freak out. We do have to stop the contractions though so we're going to admit you and get you hooked up to an IV with medicine to stop the contractions. We'll also give you fluids and may need to give you blood," the doctor tells us and then turns to talk to the nurse who is already getting things out for an IV. Dr. Cooper looks at the nurse and they start talking quietly and quickly, I can't help it and I start crying as the fear and emotions take over.

"Find Drew I need Drew," I sniffle.

"Don't worry we'll get him here," Owen assure me, "stay with her I'm going to make some calls," Owen instructs Adam.

"I know it's scary Clare but as I said you aren't hemorrhaging and your daughter is not in distress. Not that the contractions are good but sometimes preterm labor is a sign of major fetal distress but your daughter is fine. Nurse Elena is going to get you hooked up to an IV so we can stop the contractions, the medicine might make you feel like you've had several cups of coffee, a bit of a jittery feeling but that's normal. While Elena gets you hooked up I'm going to get you admitted and we'll keep you overnight for observation. I'm also going to call Dr. Davis and let her know what's going on."

Dr. Cooper leaves the room the nurse takes my arm and I grip Adam tightly in lieu of his brother since Drew isn't here. Adam soothes my hair and squeezes my hand, the nurse tells me I'm fine but all I can think is that I could've lost my baby girl.

**(DREW)**

"I can totally see you running a business someday," Bianca whispers to me as we sit in the conference room for a presentation.

"That'll make Clare happy," I grin.

"Yeah not like this though, it'll be a toy company or a sports company or something like that," Bianca says.

"Drew I need to speak with you," the teacher says tapping my arm and I follow him out of the room.

"I'm sorry for talking Mr. T…"

"No it isn't that Drew," he says cutting me off. "Don't panic but Clare's in the hospital," he says.

"What?!" I gasp as I instantly start to panic. "I…I have to go, I have to get to her," I tell him in a voice thin with fear as a million thoughts start to flood through my head.

"Officer Turner is on his way in his patrol car right now and he'll take you. He should be here any minute go ahead and wait for him out front I'll make sure Bianca gets your stuff back to school."

He's not even done talking before I'm running for the front doors, dodging people and desks as I race out. I knew she wasn't okay, I knew something was wrong and we should have gone to the hospital this morning._ "Please God let her be okay, let our baby be okay I cannot lose either of them." _I pray silently as I run out of the building, bursting through the doors and see Officer Turner's patrol car pull up with the lights on and siren going. Flying down he steps I jump into the passenger seat. My leg nervously bouncing and I wring my hands together on my lap as soon as my seatbelt is on.

"We'll be at the hospital in a few minutes Drew take it easy," Officer Turner advises.

"What happened? Is she okay? Our baby?" I inquire rapidly on a terrified breath.

"I'm not sure son Principal Simpson just said to get over here and get you to the hospital as fast as I could. He did tell me that Clare and the baby are okay though," Officer Turner says and I let out a breath.

I'm relieved that they're ok but I still want to know why Clare went to the hospital in the first place and we can't get there fast enough for me. When we pull up to the emergency entrance I see Owen waiting and I hop out before Officer Turner has stopped the car.

"Where is she? What happened?" I question Owen.

"She's upstairs in maternity, they're admitting her for the night. She was in preterm labor and because of her partial placenta previa she was bleeding too," Owen informs me and I feel my heart sink to my stomach, a giant lump forming in my throat as tears crowd in the corners of my eyes but I swallow them back.

"Bleeding?" I say weakly as a terrible picture of Clare in a pool of blood enters my mind. "Labor! No she can't be in labor; she's only 22 weeks our daughter is not ready to be born. She can't have the baby now," I say in a much quicker much more panicked voice.

"She's getting medicine to stop the contractions and the doctor said she didn't have contractions because they baby was in distress. Both Clare and the baby are okay, she wasn't bleeding that badly and we got her here in time. She's really scared Drew and really upset, I know you are too but right now you're going to have to be her rock. She hasn't stopped crying since she found out she was having contractions. Clare's upstairs, maternity is the third floor she's room 316 and Adam is with her. I already called your parents and they're on their way and Dallas, Luke and Becky are telling everyone that should know at school, including Bianca when he gets a hold of her," Owen tells me.

"They made us turn off our phones for the field trip," I speak up internally kicking myself for not at least checking my phone a couple of times when I knew something was wrong.

"It's fine we took care of her I brought her in and brought Adam with me. I still have to call Stacey, Fitz and Lucas, Fitz can tell Meghan and Lucas can tell his mom and Mia if he wants but that should be everyone aside from Clare's parents although Jake will tell his dad I'm sure. Now get up there and go be with your girl," Owen instructs.

"Thanks Owen for everything," I tell him and then run into the hospital, not wanting to wait for the elevator I simply sprint up the stairs. Finding Clare's room I burst through the door and Clare looks over, her eyes are drowning in tears but she reaches for me when she knows I'm in the room.

"Drew," she cries as I sit on the left side of her bed, since my brother is on the other side. She puts her head on my chest as I put my arms around her and she clings to my shirt. "I didn't think anything was wrong, I really didn't but our baby could have died. I could have gone into labor at school or something and I could have bled so much more an…"

"I know Clare," I cut her off because I don't want to picture any of this and I am, but I also need to calm her down. "It's okay you got to the hospital and you and our daughter are okay. If you don't calm down though you're going to stress our baby girl out again," I tell her and Clare nods against my chest.

Clare takes a couple deep shuddering breaths and slowly calms down, after a few more minutes she's even able to stop crying. She still grips my shirt; I kiss her head and rub her back gently.

"I've been telling her to calm down for ten minutes, how come she does it when you tell her to," Adam gripes lightly but I can see the stress on my younger brother's face and how worried he's been.

"Because I have the magic boyfriend touch," I comment holding Clare as close and as tight as I can without disturbing any of the wires or tubes on her and it seems like there are so many.

"But I'm the best friend shouldn't I have the magic best friend touch?" Adam questions.

"You do Adam," Clare says smiling at him just a bit, "but it's different when it concerns our baby."

"What did the doctor say?" I question pushing a curl behind Clare's ear.

"Clare has to stay the night for observation and they will come check on her and look at the monitors every fifteen minutes until the medicine stops then about every half hour to forty five minutes to make sure she doesn't have any more contractions. The doctor thinks one does of the medication will stop the contractions but they may need to do a second one," Adam informs me.

"I hope not," Clare speaks up, "Dr. Cooper said that I'd probably feel like I drank a few cups of coffee but I feel like I'm in crack."

Adam and I laugh lightly and I kiss her forehead, I'm staying strong to keep her from breaking down again, of course it helps that my brother is here but I'm terrified and I can't get the thought that I might have lost them both out of my mind. I'm going to have to keep talking so I don't lose my mind but before I can say anything else my parents come in.

"We spoke to the doctor and you're going to be just fine Clare, so is the baby. Gave everyone a scare though and you'll be going on bed rest when you're released tomorrow," Mom informs us.

"What does that mean?" I question.

"I won't be able to leave the bed," Clare twists her face in displeasure at the thought.

"You'll be able to lounge on the sofa during the day so you can watch TV and you can get up to go to the washroom but that's about it. We'll have someone at home with you at all times too; the doctor said there was a risk of preterm labor again. Also the placenta previa could cause hemorrhaging with contractions. You won't be going back to school but the doctor said you might not have to stay on such strict bed rest until you deliver, however even if you're let off of it you'll have a lot of restrictions," Mom tells us just as Owen comes in the room followed by a string of people, guess it's lunch time at school.

"We'll let you visit, we're going to go make some phone calls," Dad says pulling Mom from the room.

"I told my dad, he won't tell your mom but he's going to stop by after work and said he'd bring dinner for you and Drew," Jake tells Clare and then kisses the top of her head.

"Thanks Jake," Clare smiles wiping the tears at her eyes.

"We're glad you're okay, you had us all scared when we heard you'd been rushed to the ER," Maya says touching Clare's arm since there isn't enough space to hug Clare.

"I knew you'd be okay Edwards you're too stubborn for anything else," Eli smirks and Clare smiles.

"Yeah she's so stubborn she refused to go to the hospital this morning," I remark and Clare pinches my side.

Katie, Dallas, Luke, Becky, Dave, Tris, Zig, Connor and K.C. pass on similar sentiments. They only stay a few minutes before leaving to drive back to school but I guess everyone wanted to see Clare.

"B's on her way back from the field trip, I told her you were okay but we'll come by after school," Dallas says before he leaves.

The only two that stay are Owen and Adam; I figured they wouldn't be leaving us though. I expect when the door opens again that it will be my parents but it's Lucas.

"Don't scare me like that," Lucas reprimands her but comes over to kiss Clare's cheek. "Mom sends her love but she's stuck at work. I called Mia and told her, I promised to keep her informed. I also called Jay and Spin, Jay's coming by after work and Spin and Emma said they would come for the weekend," Lucas says.

"What did you tell them?" Clare asks.

"A really quick version of everything but Jay promised not to kill Drew while you were in the hospital," Lucas responds.

"Good so I just need to fear for my life when she's out," I say sarcastically and Clare giggles just a bit.

"Oh yeah I almost forgot, Fitz will come with Meghan when he gets off work and she's out of school. I'll pick up Stacey from school and we'll come back here," Owen enlightens us.

Clare smiles and nods, Lucas asks what the doctor said so Adam starts filling him in and then the doctor comes back in with my parents. They check Clare's monitors and chart then talk to my parents a bit, it seems to be mostly about what Clare can and can't do on bed rest. Lucas leaves after about 20 minutes telling us to call him if anything changes; I look down at Clare when I feel her head nuzzling into me and she yawns.

"You can sleep if you want, I promise I won't leave your side," I assure her.

"I'm really tired but this medicine is making me shake and I'm not sure I can sleep," she whispers back.

"You should try, I'll hold you the whole time," I promise her.

She nods a little and goes very still, she does manage to fall asleep after about 15 minutes, I can tell she's out when her hot breaths against my chest become soft and regular.

"Kids we're going to go run some errands and get things set up at the house for when Clare is released tomorrow. We'll be back in a couple of hours, call us if you need anything," Mom says. Mom kisses my forehead and gives Clare a mom look, you know where it's all full of concern and love and nurturing, and then my parents leave.

"How you doing?" Owen asks me in a whisper when my parents are gone.

"I have no idea, I'm keeping it together for Clare but I'm so scared dude. I could've lost her, could've lost the baby. If you hadn't gotten them to the hospital when you did she would have been bleeding at school, had the baby. I'm trying not to but all I can picture is this tiny baby girl that isn't ready to be born, or Clare bleeding out because she goes into contractions again. I knew something was wrong this morning, I told her she should come in, next time I'm dragging her down here myself," I assert.

"Hey at least we got her here and got her in on time. You're not the only one looking out for her Drew we all are and we'll all make sure she's taken care of," Adam reminds me and I nod.

I look at Clare sleeping in my arms, look at the monitors, aside from her heartbeat I have no idea what the others mean. As long as no alarms are going off then I guess everything is okay. There was an alarm going off in my head this morning though, as soon as Clare reacted the way she did there was an alarm going off in my head. She told me everything was okay so I ignored it figuring she knew her own body but next time I'm going to listen to my instincts and heed the alarm no matter what Clare says.

**Update next Tuesday starting probably with Owen, Stacey, Fitz and Meghan at the hospital and including Clare being released.**


	16. My Fears and Nightmares

**Guest reviewers, particularly Sthoners, Hannah, Robert & SimGirl, I will answer your reviews by Thursday it's been a long few days.**

**Ch.16 My Fears and Nightmares**

**(DREW)**

I've been watching Clare lie asleep in my arms for a couple of hours now. Every few minutes I'll look at the monitors, not that I can read them but there's something strangely comforting about it. Adam hasn't left us but Owen left a short time ago to pick up Stacey. The TV is on with the volume low but neither of us is really watching, we're too worried about Clare and the baby, losing either would be devastating for both of us. Suddenly she bolts awake with a gasp, looks at me, looks around the room and bursts into tears.

"Clare what's wrong?" I ask holding her tightly.

She only shakes her head and grips my shirt; Adam gets up coming over and perching on the edge of the bed softly rubbing Clare's back.

"It was just a dream Clare, you're okay and so is the baby," Adam assures her and I feel kind of dumb for not realizing she had a nightmare.

When we first started dating it was kind of weird dating my younger brother's best friend, and it still can be sometimes because they know each other so well and can pretty much read each other's thoughts. Sometimes it's weird and inconvenient but most of the time it's great, times like this where I'm not sure what's going on but Adam knows right away.

"We lost the baby, she was born to soon and there was all this blood," Clare sobs against my chest, her words barely audible between her crying, heavy breaths and being muffled by my body.

"It was a nightmare, just a nightmare you're okay, our baby is okay we didn't lose the baby it was just a bad dream," I remind her and kiss her forehead.

"Owen will be here soon with Stacey, and Fitz and Meghan probably too. Plus I'm sure other people will come by now that schools out," Adam points out and Clare sniffles in the rest of her tears wiping them on my shirt.

"Are you sure the baby's okay?" She questions looking up at me with tear filled eyes.

"No alarms have gone off and the nurse has come in every hour to check on you, our daughter is fine Clare. How are you?" I ask kissing her hand because she's shaking a little and I can't tell if it's because she's been crying, the medicine or something else.

"Tired, scared, mostly scared," she says lying on her back again and putting her hand on her belly.

"I know me too but we'll get through this together," I assure her giving her a soft kiss as I hear the door open.

"You must be Drew," says a scary looking guy as he comes in.

"Hey Jay," Adam nods.

"You can't kill him you promised," Clare says to Jay.

"Hey Adam," Jay nods to my brother and then looks at me, "I only promised not to kill him while you were in the hospital."

I look at the guy and swallow hard, if Owen is intimidating this guy is downright bone chilling and he's glaring at me like he expects my head to explode!

"Uh hi I'm Drew," I say nervously extended my hand.

"No your name is dead meat," Jay replies but does shake my hand.

"Jason stop, I don't know what Lucas told you but I need Drew, we're in love and I need him more than ever right now because I'm very scared," Clare pleads and Jay softens suddenly not looking so terrifying.

"Has he been good to you?" Jay inquires.

"Yes he's been amazing since coming back, don't be mad at him Jay he really is in love with me," Clare asserts.

"I am very much and I will never do anything like that again," I affirm.

"We're still going to need to have a talk later," Jay tells me then looks at Clare. "How do you feel?"

"Tired and scared mostly," she responds.

"I'll go so you can rest, are you being released tomorrow?" Jay asks.

"Yes I think so but we'll call Lucas and he can tell you when we know for sure," she responds.

"Good, take care Baby Edwards I'll see you tomorrow," he tells her kissing her cheek.

"I will but don't call me Baby Edwards," Clare gripes and Jay laughs.

"Good to see you again Adam and to meet you Drew, just remember we still need to have a talk," Jay tells me.

"Yeah I won't forget," I nod. Jay says goodbye and leaves and I look at Clare, "So who was that?"

She starts explaining who Jay is and what he was like in high school but stops when we hear the door open again.

"I'm glad you're okay and you got to the hospital in time, how do you feel?" Stacey questions coming in with Owen.

"This medication makes me feel like I'm on crack, I feel weak and tired and scared," Clare replies but with a soft smile for her friends.

"Well at least you're only in the hospital for a night and you got here in time," Stacey smiles.

"Thanks to Owen's insistence," Clare grins.

"That's because you know better than to say no to me," Owen smirks.

"I say no to you all the time," Stacey teases and Owen grimaces before tickling her.

Clare laughs a little and then looks at the door when it opens again, Fitz and Meghan walk in holding a big vase of flowers. Meghan sets the flowers on a table and they come over to hug her.

"We're glad you're okay, we told our pastor and he's going to have everyone at church pray for you," Meghan tells us.

"Thanks," Clare says quietly and something flashes in her eyes that I can't quite read.

"What did the doctor say?" Fitz asks.

Adam repeats it all to save Clare from it, despite her two hour nap Clare seems so tired. Although she is in the hospital which is kind of exhausting in itself, and she was told she nearly gave birth to our daughter way too soon, all of which is hanging heavy in our minds and mentally exhausting. Still I'm keeping a close eye on her, they said she might need a second dose of medication and she has other health problems so I'm not taking chances.

"You look tired we should let you rest," Meghan comments after Adam has explained it all and everyone but me and Clare has been talking.

"We can come see you when you get home tomorrow," Fitz agrees.

"Yeah thanks for coming," Clare says smiling at them but she squeezes my hand. Meghan, Fitz and Stacey don't seem to notice but Owen and Adam do, I guess because they know her so well now.

"Hey can you guys take Stacey home?" Owen requests and then looks at Stacey, "If you don't mind I want to stick around."

"No Owen go with your girlfriend," Clare argues.

"No of course I don't mind, you need your closest friends Clare, especially without your family," Stacey insists to Clare and Clare smiles at her. "Call me later," Stacey says to Owen before giving him a gentle kiss.

"Actually I was thinking more like coming over to stay the night," Owen grins mischievously.

"Or that," Stacey laughs.

Stacey, Fitz and Meghan all say goodbye to Clare and as soon as their out of the room the three of us look at Clare.

"What's wrong?" We ask at the same time.

"Palpitations," she tells us curling into me again and Adam presses the button for the doctor. We expect it to be Dr. Cooper to come in but I'm relieved to see Dr. Davis, Dr. Cooper was great and all but Dr. Davis knows us and Clare's history since she's been our doctor since Clare and I got back together.

"Hi Clare, Drew, good to see you Adam," Dr. Davis smiles and looks at Owen

"This is our best friend Owen," I tell her.

"Nice to meet you Owen, okay so your little girl is quite anxious to get out and meet everybody but it's too soon. I spoke with Dr. Cooper I think we're going to have to do a second dose because you're still having contractions close enough and strong enough that they could induce labor," Dr. Davis informs us.

"The medication makes me feel like I'm high though, super jumpy and out of it," Clare complains.

"She's also complaining of palpitations," I tell Dr. Davis.

"Yes with your mitro-valve prolapse we knew the palpitations would be a risk," the doc says looking at Clare's heart monitor. "I'll have a cardiologist come down for an EKG and then we'll get you on a different medication to stop the contractions. I'll be back in a few moments and if you need anything else just press the call button," she tells us, we nod and she leaves the room.

"Are you sure you're okay? Is it just palpitations? You're not in pain or anything are you?" I inquire when the doctor is gone.

"Just palpitations but I think the medication is making it worse," she replies nuzzling into my chest and I hold her tighter.

"The doctor will be in soon don't worry Clare," Adam assures her as Owen's phone rings.

"Hey…she's getting another dose and complaining of palpitations…I don't think so…yeah will do," Owen says and hangs up. "That was Jake some of the kids from school wanted to come see you if you were up for it but I told them it probably wasn't a good idea. I told Jake I'd call the others later to let them know how you were doing. Glen's still coming by with dinner when he gets off work and Jake might come with him," Owen informs us.

The door opens again and a male doctor comes in with a smile, it's the same smile I see on most of the doctors faces here. That sympathetic I'm sorry you're in the hospital smile.

"Hello I'm Dr. Gray I know you're Clare and I'm guessing you're the dad-to-be," the doctor says to me.

"Yeah and this is my brother Adam and our best friend Owen."

"Nice to meet you all dad-to-be I need you to let go of Clare so I can I get a look at her heart," he tells me and I reluctantly let go of Clare getting off the bed. I stand by my brother and watch everything that the doctor does, she already had a heart monitor on but he turns it off and pulls off the wires and an orderly brings in another machine. The doctor puts more wires on Clare, turns on the new machine and watches it for a minute. "Your heart mummer is reacting to the medicine; I'm going to consult with Dr. Davis so we can take care of your palpitations and stop the contractions," Dr. Gray tells us.

"Thanks Doc," I nod as he and the orderly gather the machine up again and get Clare hooked back up to the first heart monitor.

He and the orderly leave and I get back on the bed wrapping Clare in my arms once more. It feels like a long time before Dr. Davis comes in again, she is followed by a nurse holding two IV bags.

"Okay Clare this second dose should take care of the contractions without too many awful side effects but you still might feel a little jumpy. We also have some medicine to help with the palpitations. We'll be coming to check on you frequently and if you feel any pain or anything feels off, or if you guys sense anything press the call button," Dr. Davis tells us as Clare gets hooked up to the IV. "We're also giving you something to sleep Clare because the best thing for your body is sleep. Someone will be in every half hour to check on you and take not of your vitals."

Dr. Davis leaves the room and Clare turns on her side, away from me but pulls me at me to spoon with her and hold her. Which I do happily embracing her tightly as much as I can without disturbing any tubes or wires. Adam and Owen are talking quietly about getting her home tomorrow and after a few minutes Clare falls asleep.

**(JAKE)**

"Have you heard from Drew or Clare?" Dad asks me when he gets in. He came home early so we could go to the hospital and see Clare.

"I called Owen he said she needed a second dose of medicine and was complaining of palpitations. Others wanted to see her after school again but she wasn't up for it," I tell my dad.

"We won't stay very long but I still want to stop by and bring them dinner, although Clare might not want to eat but Drew should eat. We'll stop at the market and get a roast chicken, salad and some sides," Dad says.

"Owen is probably still there and I'm sure Adam is," I inform Dad.

"We'll get enough for everyone that might be there, including Audra, Omar and Dallas if they don't eat it all they can take it home so Audra doesn't have to cook for a few days. I'm just going upstairs to change real quick and then we'll leave," Dad tells me and runs upstairs.

I go back to my homework for a few minutes and then the phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it's an international number. I don't recognize the number but the only person that usually calls from and international line is Darcy.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake it's Darcy how are things at home?" She asks.

"Not so good Clare's in the hospital for the night because she was having contractions and…"

"What are you talking about?! Contractions?! ARE YOU TELLING ME CLARE IS PREGNANT?!" Darcy yells into the phone.

"Your mom didn't tell you any of this did she?" I question.

"No the last thing I heard from Mom was that Clare was spending a semester abroad," Darcy informs me.

"Of course she did," I sigh. "Clare's here, she's pregnant, Drew's the father and it's not going well. She's in the hospital overnight because she was having contractions and she was having other complications, bad ones. Dad and I are about to leave to go see her in the hospital I'll e-mail you later with the whole story," I tell Darcy.

"I can't believe Mom lied to me and didn't tell me any of this, actually yes I can. Tell Clare that I love her and please e-mail everything, keep me up to date will you I'll try and come home as soon as I can," Darcy requests.

"Yeah I will," I tell her; we say goodbye and hang up just as Dad comes back downstairs.

"Who was that?" Dad asks.

"Darcy, I told her I'd e-mail her the whole story later considering she knew none of it and Helen told her that Clare was doing a semester abroad," I inform Dad.

"She's so worried about what people will think she hasn't even told Darcy what's going on with her sister," Dad says shaking his head.

"She should be coming with us to the hospital," I comment.

"I tried to tell her we were visiting Clare but Helen's totally disavowed her, in Helen's mind Clare just doesn't exist anymore but we're not giving up on her," Dad assures me as we get in his truck and start driving.

We stop by the market getting two roast chickens, mashed potatoes, steamed corn, salad, roast carrots and corn bread. We also grab plates, napkins and plastic cutlery because we don't know what the hospital has. Then we head to the hospital, it's just before five and when we get to Clare's room we find her sleeping but Drew, Adam, Owen, the Torres parents, Dallas and Bianca are all here.

"How is she?" Dad asks as we start taking out the food.

"She's been sleeping mostly but they gave her something to sleep. The first round of medication made her jumpy and was giving her palpitations. The second round has completely stopped the contractions and doesn't seem to be upsetting her heart mummer. At least the doctor and nurses haven't said anything when they've come in to check on her," Adam tells us.

"Sleep is the best thing for Clare right now anyway. It'll make the time here go faster. We brought dinner for everyone and we won't stay very long we just wanted to see her," Dad comments.

"Thanks," Drew says gently taking his arms from Clare and sitting up a little, "I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelled the food but I haven't eaten since breakfast."

Drew carefully gets off Clare's bed and makes himself a plate then sits back at the food of the bed. He doesn't say much and he eats mostly watching Clare, hardly taking his eyes from her. I can tell how deeply Drew loves her by the way he watches her and it makes me happy, now if only her mother could be happy for them.

"Darcy called; Helen told her that Clare was doing a semester abroad so she knew nothing. I promised to send her a detailed e-mail tonight," I enlighten the others.

"I hope Darcy isn't like her mom," Owen grumbles.

"She is a little but I think she'll be there for Clare," I reply.

Everyone starts talking at once, the adults discussing Helen and the rest of us talking about Darcy. Then Clare begins to stir and we all go quiet, she shifts in the bed and then her eyes open. I'm standing with Adam and Owen and she sees us first, we smile at her and she gives a tiny smile back. She rolls to her back to scoot up a little and looks for Drew, relaxing and grinning when she sees him.

"You want to eat something Jewel of My Life?" Drew asks her.

He freaked out when he found she was pregnant and left her but he's making up for it now. He's caring, protective and worships her, he treats her like a queen and Helen cares about none of it.

"I'm not hungry," she shakes her head and rubs her eyes, "when did everyone get here?"

"Dad and I just came to bring dinner," I tell her.

Clare sits back and looks at her hands resting on her belly, looking at her pregnant belly, probably imaging the baby girl in it. Drew finishes his food setting down the plate and gets back on the bed with her wrapping her in his arms again.

"We should get home, call us if you need anything Clare," Dad says when we're done eating.

"I'll come by tomorrow after school," I tell her kissing her cheek before we leave.

We say goodbye to everyone and get back in Dad's truck to drive home. Helen's home when we get home and we see the light on in the kitchen.

"Well where were you two? I came home to an empty house, no notes or phone calls about where you'd gone. I expect you both to have the decency and respect to tell me when you won't be home for a family dinner," Helen snaps at us as soon as we walk in the door.

"We went to the hospital to see Clare! She went into labor and they had to stop the contractions! She's been having complications and if she'd gone into labor she'd have lost the baby and could have died! She's your daughter and you're so worried about what people will think about you that you've stopped caring about your own daughter and lied to your other one about her! You're a sick person Helen and Clare's better off without you!" I bark at Helen and then march up to my room to write a very long e-mail to Darcy.

**(CLARE)**

Adam parks at home and Drew hops out running around to my side to open the door for me. He helps me out of the car and then picks me up; I gasp and put my arms around his neck.

"Drew I can walk to the house," I tell him.

"I know but the less you do the better," he retorts.

"Drew I'm going to have to stay in bed for months the least I can do is walk to the house," I argue when we're already about half way to the basement door.

He stops walking and looks at me, then the house and back at me before setting me on the ground gently.

"Okay you're right just be careful," he tells me.

I would be annoyed that he's being so worried and overprotective but I know where it's coming from. I know how scared I was when I found out I was in labor, how scared I still am and so I understand Drew's fears. So I don't snap at him for being worried but merely kiss his cheek and begin walking to the house on his arm.

"Oh my look at our apartment," I exclaim when we go in through the sliding glass door and see that there are flowers and get well cards on the counter. The sofa has been set up like a second bed so that I'll be comfortable when I'm resting there during the day. There are pregnancy books stacked on the coffee table and books of baby names which I'm guessing is a hint from Audra.

"We wanted to be sure that you'd be comfortable, the flowers and cards are mostly from kids at school," Adam explains.

"Most of whom I expect will be by after school," Audra says to me as she brings in my bag from the hospital. "Clare you get comfortable on the sofa and I'll start some lunch. I know you may not be hungry but you need to eat," Mom insists, she sets down my bag in our bedroom and then goes upstairs.

"I guess I'll change into my pajamas," I remark letting go of Drew but he follows me back to the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Drew questions when our door is closed.

"Honestly I don't know," I reply sinking down on the bed and Drew freezes before he kneels down in front of me and his face is pale with fear. "No I'm okay physically, I mean I don't feel sick, or contractions or palpitations or anything," I assure Drew and he lets out a relieved breath sitting on the bed next to me and putting an arm around me.

"Then what's wrong My Shining Jewel?" Drew questions.

I let my head fall on Drew's shoulder and take his hand in mine. "I just can't stop thinking about her Drew, our daughter, she could have born and she wouldn't have made it. I just keep picturing this tiny little thing we see in the ultrasound pictures being born too soon. Every time I close my eyes it's all I can see. This pregnancy has been such a struggle from the start, I thought when you came back to me and I wasn't so stressed that things would be better. I don't think my body was made for sustaining a baby and I don't understand why we're being put through all this!"

Drew seems like he doesn't know what to say at first as he simply puts his hand on my belly and gives me a tender but ardent kiss.

"Listen to me Clare our daughter is going to be just fine I promise you. She has to be because she's going to be just as stubborn as you," Drew tells me and I chuckle lightly.

"I don't know why this is happening Clare, or why it's getting more difficult and not easier. What I do know is that I love you deeply and I love our daughter. I know that I'm not going to let anything happen to either of you if I can help it. I know that no matter what happens I will never leave your side again and we will get through all of it together," Drew assures me.

"I love you Drew," I tell him looking up and smiling at him.

"I love you, more than anything Clare," he replies and softly cupping my chin captures my chin for an amorous kiss.

"Uh guys you have visitors," Adam calls to us breaking us from our kiss.

"Be right out," Drew calls back.

He helps me stand up and I get out my silver satin pajama bottoms and matching short sleeve button up top. I keep my bra on for the day though, when I have my pajamas on we go out to the living room. Lucas is sitting on the sofa and I go over to hug him.

"Hey how do you feel?" Lucas questions.

I sit on the chaise part of the sofa and lean back against all the soft cushions that have been set up for me.

"Better, that medication was awful though I'm still kind of jittery," I tell him.

"Well I was at the Dot before I came over and brought you another visitor I thought might help," Lucas tells me.

"Who?" I question and then feeling a kiss on my cheek look to the pair of lips seeing a mop of big blond hair. "Peter!" I exclaim putting my arms around the older boy's neck.

"Hey Baby Edwards," Peter smiles hopping onto the sofa next to me, "so Lucas said you would explain to me how you got knocked up and living at your boyfriends house?"

"Yes I'll explain everything," I nod just as the basement door opens and Jay comes in.

"Hey Jay," Lucas nods.

"Hi Jay," Peter says.

"Hey I came to see how you were doing," Jay comments coming over to kiss my cheek.

"Better," I smile.

"Good, Drew let's go outside for a conversation," Jay says to Drew putting a hand on his shoulder and pulling Drew outside meaning Drew has no choice.

"Uh okay," Drew says nervously as they go outside.

"Lucas can you go make sure that Jay doesn't kill Drew while I tell Peter everything?" I request.

"Yeah I'm on it," Lucas replies leaping over the back of the sofa and following them outside.

"Alright Baby Edwards spill," Peter insists as Adam joins us on the sofa.

"Better get comfortable it's a long story," I tell Peter getting ready to fill him in on everything he's missed.

**Update next Tuesday probably picking up with Jay chatting with Drew. And including visits from Clare's friends and maybe another surprise visitor or two.**

**Thanks to Christlove88 for the help.**


	17. So Much Less then So Much More

**Hello readers, my company is holding their biggest event on Friday and we have a ton to do for it still! I'm also spending the weekend with one of my oldest friends. Which means I am working long days and have very little time to write and very little energy, this means it's a week of short chapters, sorry. Expect every chapter through Sunday to be between 3500 and 4000 words rather than my normal average of 5000. Next week I should be back to the longer chapters though and even though the chapters are short I will make them good.**

**Ch. 17 So Much Less then So Much More**

**(JAY)**

I take Drew outside with my hand firmly on his shoulder and gripping in so he doesn't try and run. When we're outside I put my hand on his chest and shove him into the wall just as Lucas comes out the door.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GETTING HER PREGNANT AND THEN SNAPPING AND LEAVING HER ALONE!" I yell at Drew and he looks scared.

"Hey you can't kill him Clare needs him," Lucas tells me.

"No she doesn't," I argue.

"I screwed up I know and I'm really sorry but I will never ever hut Clare like that again. I will never do anything to hurt Clare again. I was scared and freaked out but I'm here for her and will do anything just to see her smile," Drew says trying to sound firm but I hear the fear in his voice.

"All I hear is empty promises you left her when she was most vulnerable and needed you the most how can I trust you and why should she?" I inquire in a growling voice.

"Dude Clare's in love with him you can't kill him," Lucas reminds me.

"I'm still proving myself to Clare, I have to every day and I may for the rest of my life but I will never hurt her or abandon her again," Drew says again.

"Jay if you kill him then Clare will be all upset and that's bad for her and the baby. Plus he is the father," Lucas points out but he's sort of laughing.

"Since when are you the voice of reason?" I ask Lucas.

"Clare doesn't want you to kill him; she's in love with him. If you go and kill him then Clare will just go find some other guy. She was pretending to date Owen for a while, knowing Clare she'll end up with someone like you or me," Lucas responds.

Thinking about Clare's favor being toward bad boys, which I'm certain the two of us along with Spinner influenced, I finally decide Lucas is right. I glare at Drew one more time but finally release him from the wall, I do however pull to the steps that lead to the second floor and sit him down.

"Okay Torres how did she even get pregnant because last time I saw her she was wearing an abstinence ring," I inquire putting one foot on the bench next to Drew and leaning on the leg.

"Wow you haven't seen her in a long time," Drew remarks in a snarky tone.

"Dude don't poke the angry lion," Lucas cautions him.

"If you pressured her or did an…"

"I didn't I swear," Drew cuts me off in a begging tone. "I didn't pressure her, I'm in love with Clare I would never. It was her decision honest; she wanted to and I made sure the night was perfect for her. We've always used protection that's part of why I freaked out so much because we were always safe and we didn't think she'd get pregnant. My younger brother is her best friend believe me if I'd even so much have kissed her when she didn't want me too he would have killed me," Drew asserts but in a tone that's still begging for his life.

"Okay I believe you and you can live but one more screw up on your part and I'll be back," I inform Drew.

"I promise I treat her like a queen and I will never screw up like that again," Drew says.

"Okay let's go inside, I'm on my lunch break only got so long to be here," I comment and straighten up again allowing Drew off the bench.

We walk in and Clare's still talking to Peter so we all sit down, Drew next to Clare but she's talking about right after he yelled at her and took off and he looks uncomfortable. He looks even more uncomfortable when I glare at him as Clare is recounting how he yelled at her at the ravine.

"Umm I'm just going to go see how Mom is doing with lunch," Drew says jumping up getting out of the room as fast as he can.

I sit and listen to Clare while she tells us about her time fake dating Owen to try and make Drew jealous to get him back. I find it incredibly amusing that she had Owen satisfy her sexual needs a couple of times while Drew was still angry. Clare's still talking when Drew, Adam and their mom come down; Mrs. Torres comes down with a tray including salad, chicken and vegetables. Drew has a plate full of sandwiches, Adam a six pack of soda and bag of chips.

"Eat as much as you can Clare," Audra says putting the tray on Clare's lap.

"We made sandwiches if you guys are hungry," Adam tells us as Drew produces some paper plates from under his plate of sandwiches.

"Awesome I'm starved thanks Mrs. T," I smile taking a plate and a sandwich.

"No problem, there should be plenty and I'm not expecting anyone else over until after school. You kids eat up but don't tire Clare out she needs her rest," Audra replies and goes upstairs again.

"Jane's coming home in a couple of weeks," Lucas tells us after taking a big bite of sandwich.

"Good it'll be great to see her," Clare says smiling a little.

"So when did Drew finally come to his senses and come back?" I question and Drew shifts uncomfortably again, I like making him squirm I'll have to come visit more so I can make Drew squirm.

"I realized I couldn't live without her while I was away, and that I needed her, wanted her and the baby. I knew that I needed Clare and our baby, but when I came back I thought she was still dating Owen, I thought they were really dating I didn't find out it was fake until later. I also knew I needed to confess to everyone what was going on and make a good apology to Clare a really great one. So I did," Drew tells me.

"He's been wonderful, he takes really good care of me, he loves me and our daughter and he worries about everything. Sometimes so much that it drives me crazy but it's coming from the right place," Clare tells us leaning over to kiss Drew's cheek.

Adam smiles and Drew grins kissing her back, I finish lunch quickly since I have to get back to the garage.

"I gotta run, I'll be back and he does anything stupid again you call me," I tell Clare getting up and kissing her cheek. Drew looks a little scared but Clare giggles. "You remember what I said Drew," I grin patting his shoulder firmly a couple of times. I say goodbye to the others and then leave to get back to work but fully intend to come back in the next couple days to check on Clare and make Drew squirm.

**(DREW)**

"Hey how's she doing?" Owen asks as he and Stacey come in through the basement door.

School had let out about an hour ago and our friends were filling the small living room. Owen had gone to pick up Stacey from school before coming over, Fitz had to work and Meghan wasn't here but everyone else was.

"She's okay I think, she's not really talking, mostly just sitting in her spot and listening to people," I reply.

I had only left my spot next to Clare to get up and get her some water so I happened to be in the kitchen when Owen and Stacey came in.

"Well maybe she's tired, it's never fun to go to the hospital and it's always exhausting. Plus all the people here visiting would tiring," Stacey points out.

"Yeah I know and that's what she keeps saying when I ask her how she is," I respond. Taking Clare's water I go back and sit next to her, handing her the water. "Look who's here," I say as she opens the water and Owen kisses her cheek.

"Hey thanks for coming over," Clare smiles hugging Stacey.

"You know if you're too tired I can kick everyone out," Owen offers.

"No I like the company," Clare responds after a sip of water. She takes my hand while Owen sits on the coffee table and Stacey sits on his lap.

"We'll have to think of things we can do while you're on bed rest, movie nights, game nights, a baby shower," Stacey comments.

"That would be great, I can already see myself going crazy having to be in bed all day," Clare smiles.

"No way we'll keep you from getting bored," Owen assures her.

We talk to Owen and Stacey a bit more but Mom kicks everyone out at dinner. Everyone hugs Clare and says goodbye, when it's just the two of us, Adam, Dallas and Bianca Mom asks if Clare wants to eat down here or at the table and she chooses to eat down here. Mom says us kids can eat in the basement but we have to come up to make our plates. I tell Clare to stay seated and I'll make her plate for her. We eat dinner while watching a movie and then Dallas takes Bianca home. Clare didn't eat all that much but she didn't eat much at lunch either.

"You want me to hang out?" Adam asks when Dallas and Bianca leave.

"No that's okay Adam, go do your homework I'm going to take a shower and go to bed," Clare responds.

"I'll keep my phone close by text or call right away if anything happens I'll be right down," Adam says to me in a low voice.

"I will goodnight bro," I say and hug my brother.

Clare gets up and starts walking to the washroom then looks back at me, "Will you shower with me?"

"Not a question you ever have to ask My Shining Jewel," I grin going with her to the washroom. I turn on the water and she starts to undress, when she's naked she adjusts the water and gets in. I join her in the shower as soon as I'm naked and she turns to me putting her head on my chest and I wrap my arms around her. After a minute I realize she's crying and I hold her tighter. "Clare, Jewel of My Life what's wrong?"

She shakes her head on my chest but doesn't say anything. I hold her tight as I can without hurting her and stroke her back gently until she's done. She picks her head up from my chest and wipes her tears from her eyes but doesn't look at me or say anything. I don't want to push her because I know if she isn't ready to talk she'll only pull farther into herself. I also know that if she doesn't talk to me she'll talk to Adam, it's one of the benefits of having your girlfriends best friend be your brother. All I can do for her right now is let her know that I'm here for her.

She doesn't actually wash herself and when she gets out of the shower she simply puts a towel around her and walks out of the washroom. Wrapping a towel around my waist I follow her out and to the bedroom, closing the door once I'm in. Clare left her pajamas, panties and bra in the washroom but it doesn't seem to matter as she just lies on the bed wrapped in her towel.

"Can you get me one of your shirts?" She requests.

I grab one of my t-shirts and hand it to Clare; I get boxers out of the drawer and put them on. When I look back at Clare she has the towel on the floor and is slipping my shirt on. The look on her face is heart breaking, she looks despondent, like she's given up hope and giving in. I sit on the bed and put my arms around her; she clings to me but sort of pushes me away at the same time.

"It will be okay Clare, the baby is okay, we'll do everything we can to make sure it stays that way," I assure her.

"I know," she nods but she still sounds despondent. "Can we go to bed I'm really tired and you have school in the morning," she says after another minute.

"I'm not going to school tomorrow," I tell her.

"Drew you have to go to school, your mom will be here," she argues.

"You and the baby are more important than school Clare," I affirm.

"Drew you have exams coming up if you miss exams you'll be repeating some classes next year," she points out.

"I don't care, if I have to repeat some classes or a whole year, you are what's important," I assert again and kiss her tenderly.

"I love you Drew," she smiles.

"I love you My Jewel, let's get to sleep, unless you want to talk about what's bothering you," I say looking in her eyes.

"I'm just tired, it's been a long and emotionally exhausting couple of days," she yawns.

I don't really believe her but I know better than to push her. So I get up and turn out the light before joining Clare in bed, she rolls on her side and cuddles up to me. Both of us lay awake for a long time, silent and still but eventually I am too fatigued to stay awake and my eyes close. I wake up in the predawn hours and notice that Clare is not in bed. My first thought is that she's in the washroom getting sick or that she passed out or something. I get out of bed ready to run to the washroom but find Clare sitting on the sofa in the dark.

"Clare what's wrong?" I question sitting next to her and putting my arm around her.

She turns to look at me; I can see that she's chewing on her lip which is a sure sign that she's nervous, scared or thinking about something intensely. "Drew what if we're not meant to have this baby?"

"What are you talking about? Of course we're meant to have this baby," I reply.

"It's been nothing but problem after problem, so much has gone wrong, I thought things would be easier when you came back but it's only gotten harder. I had to go to the hospital because I was having contractions, I needed two doses, I really don't think my body was meant to support the baby. And what about after she's born, we're young Drew and we're not out of school yet. We can't support her, we're living off your parents what kind of life can we really give her? What if something is wrong with her? What if she has a disability or something? Drew we can barely take care of ourselves, I just don't think we should have this baby," she tells me with much agitation and stress almost like she's being forced to say all this.

"Are you saying you want to give our daughter up for adoption?" I question. The thought of giving up our daughter is about the most frightening thing I can think of.

"I…I don't know I just feel like we aren't meant to have her or…I don't know Drew there's this…this feeling," she sighs and I take her hand holding her a little tighter.

"Clare I know we were meant to have this baby or it wouldn't have happened. You got pregnant and it's been a struggle but we're together again and we will raise the baby together. We were meant to raise our daughter Clare, meant to raise her together. We're young and we need to finish high school and we'll have to make some sacrifices but it doesn't mean we can't still have our dreams. I'll get a job in the summer to help out but Mom's not asking me to pay for everything, my parents will support us until we can support ourselves. After high school I'll work and take a few classes at community college, you will go to one of the Universities in Toronto and you will have a brilliant journalism career and I'll take care of our daughter," I tell Clare.

"No that isn't fair to you, you had dreams too, and don't tell me that me and this baby are your dream because we both know that's not true," Clare argues.

"Dreams change, I admit being a dad and raising a daughter wasn't my dream a few months ago but it is now. We both know that you're the one with a brilliant career ahead of you. You're the one with the potential to go places academically and in a career. We have lots of support Clare and we're not doing this alone. I'm sorry the pregnancy has been so hard and I wish I could make it easier on you and I will try everything I can. This is our baby Clare we can't give her up; no one will love her like we will." I affirm and Clare nods although doesn't look entirely convinced.

"Can we watch a movie or something I'm not all that tired," Clare says.

"Yeah of course, anything you want," I reply.

I kiss her forehead and turn on the TV and Blu-ray player then I get up and pick out a nice light movie. When I return to the sofa I lie down putting Clare in my arms and holding her as she leans against me. I put a blanket over us and kiss her temple. Neither of us make it through the whole movie and I don't wake up until late the next morning when Clare leaves my arms. She gets up and goes into the washroom, I see that it's after ten which means Dad is at work, Adam and Dallas are at school and Mom is probably at a meeting or running errands. I go into our room and pull on a pair of shorts before going upstairs. The house is empty but there's a note on the fridge from Mom that she'll be home by two and call if we need anything. Putting some toaster waffles in I pour two glasses of orange juice and cut up an apple for Clare's plate. I put butter and syrup on her waffles the way she likes, just syrup on mine and make myself a bowl of cereal. Put it all on a tray and take it downstairs to Clare, she's in bed still in my shirt and I'm not even sure she put panties or a bra on.

"Breakfast," I say and she gives me a little smile getting out of bed and coming to the sofa.

She does actually eat everything on her plate this time but she's silent and still looks despondent. After breakfast she gets comfortable while I clean up, we watch TV for a couple of hours and then when it's lunchtime at DeGrassi Adam, Owen, Dallas and Bianca come over.

"Hey walkie talkies so you can call for us without getting up," Adam says handing me a box.

"This way no matter who's home with you we will know if you need us without you having to leave the bed," Owen tells her.

"Thanks," Clare grins hugging our friends.

"We gotta back in a few minutes do you guys need anything?" Dallas asks.

"No we woke up late and I'm already tired again," Clare replies and I find it surprising that she's tired again.

"Mom will be home soon, we're good thanks you guys better going," I tell them.

They say goodbye and that they'll be back after school and then everyone leaves. Clare decides to take a nap and I go back to the bedroom lying with her for a bit until I hear the basement door again. Clare's asleep so I gently take her out of my arms making sure she has an active walkie talkie by her bed. They're the good expensive kind not the cheap toy kind. When I open the door to the living room I see Fitz and Meghan and smile at them.

"Hey is she sleeping?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah we slept in until ten and she still wanted a nap, what are you guys doing here so early?" I ask as I wasn't expecting anyone until after school.

"I have a spare right now and Mark is on his lunch so we thought we'd come and see how you guys were," Meghan explains.

"I'm doing okay mostly worried about Clare," I reply as we all sit on the sofa.

"Did something else happen?" Fitz asks.

"No, physically she seems to be doing good. She hasn't complained of anything and she's stronger since being released but she's…depressed," I admit because I can't really think of another appropriate word. "She barely smiles unless we have company and even then it seems to be forced. She seems settled on this new idea that we shouldn't have this baby, that we shouldn't be raising it. She's sure that her body won't support the baby and that we can't raise her, more than that she's sure we weren't meant to. I told her that we were meant to have our daughter and raise her, and that we have lots of support and love and we're not doing this alone. She nodded but didn't seem to really agree. Honestly she hasn't been the same since she went into the hospital," I inform our friends.

"Have you tried encouraging her with her faith?" Meghan questions and I shake my head. "It might help; we could talk to her if you want. She and I have talked about her faith before and I know faith has been shaken but even she told me she's kept the core of it. I think it would help her be strong again and come out of this depression if she could find her faith again," Meghan says and Fitz nods in agreement but before I can answer I hear my name.

"Drew?!" Clare calls and I jump up running to the bedroom.

"What's wrong?" I ask immediately upon opening the door.

"I woke up and you weren't here, I didn't know where you were," Clare tells me.

"That's why they brought us walkie talkies, so you wouldn't have to get out of bed and wouldn't have to yell," I remind her pointing to the walkie talkie on the night stand. "Meghan and Fitz are here, are you up for some company?" I inquire.

"I guess so," she replies sitting up in the bed a little. "I'll go make you some lunch and let you visit for a few minutes," I tell Clare giving her a loving kiss and leaving her to talk with Fitz and Meghan, I really hope they can help her because if they can't I'm not sure Clare or our daughter will make it through this.

**Update next Tuesday picking up in Fitz's pov.**


	18. I Need Something to Believe in

**So ranting on twitter again with my fellow DeGrassi saviors because once again the show writers have disappointed, well that's why we have fan fiction right? **

**Ch. 18 I Need Something to Believe in**

**(FITZ)**

Drew goes upstairs leaving the bedroom door open, I put my hand at Meghan's back and we walk into their bedroom. Clare's hair is messy from sleep; her eyes are droopy and sad with dark circles under them. She looks very worn and tired, she looks depressed and it's making her look much older than her 17 years. She's still beautiful underneath it all but it breaks my heart to see her this forlorn, even her normally vibrant blue eyes that can shine like crystals from across the room have become dull and greyed. Meghan has known Clare far less time that I have but I can tell that Meghan sees it too. We sit on the edge of the bed on the side I'm assuming Drew usually sleeps on.

"Hey Clare," I smile at her and she gives me a little smile but doesn't say anything. "Drew's worried about you; he said you don't think that you're supposed to have this baby. Don't you think God wants you to have this baby and that you got pregnant for a reason?" I question and Clare shakes her head.

"No it was an accident, the condom broke it happens. How could God possibly want me to suffer through all this? For my daughter to be growing in an environment that can't support her? Look at everything that's gone wrong since I got pregnant I can't possibly be meant to raise this child if my body is this fragile," Clare laments sadly.

"Clare that's not true, I know you're sad right now but you must know that's not true God doesn't make mistakes, you are pregnant for a reason, God has a plan and it will reveal itself to you in time. I know you've lost some of your faith but we talked about how you've held onto the core of it. Even with most of your faith shaken away surely in your heart you know that God wanted you to get pregnant and have your daughter and raise her with Drew," Meghan asserts.

"If that's true then why put us through all this? We've had nothing but problems and downfalls from the start. I keep having to go into the emergency room and being told that there's a problem with my body that's complicating the pregnancy. Drew and I were never meant to get pregnant it was an accident because the condom broke. Child birth is supposed to be a miracle but I'll be surprised if we even make it to the birth this doesn't feel like a miracle or a joy it feels like a punishment. Why would God be punishing me? The god I was taught about, the one I put all my faith in as a child is not that cruel. Having sex with Drew was my decision and I never regretted it. I know we weren't married but we were and are deeply in love and everything in me told me it was right. I've never been happier or more loved than when I'm with Drew. God could not be so cruel as to punish me for being in love," Clare responds with tears in her eyes.

"I think you're looking at it wrong Clare, instead of looking at all of this as a punishment I believe it's test. God is testing your strength and I'm sure he has a reason for it. I believe too that God is sending you message that you need to find your faith again. God makes you stronger but you have to have faith," Meghan encourages.

Clare looks at us curling onto her side and putting her back to us, she's quiet for a moment and I look at Meghan. She takes my hand and gives me an encouraging smile; we know we're doing the right thing.

"I just don't think I have any left, I had faith that Drew would come back to me and he has but I also had faith that once he did things would get better. They aren't getting better I'm just getting sicker and more frail. The doctors keep telling me the baby is fine but they also keep having this look on their face every time they see the scans or hear the heartbeat. I have Drew back and our love is strong I am happy when I'm with him but somehow…," her sentence trails off as she begins sniffling in tears.

Meghan reaches over and puts a hand on Clare's arm, "We can help you find your faith again Clare but I don't see how you can get through this without your faith. You've started losing your faith and you're losing heart with everything. You need to hold God in your heart again Clare and we'll help you do that. We can come over after school and Sunday's after church to read the bible with you and listen to worship music and just to talk. Sometimes it just helps to talk and I know you can talk to Drew but there might be things you can't talk to Drew about," Meghan tells her.

Clare isn't sniffling any longer but she also remains silent.

"Meghan is right Clare you need your faith and your friends to give you strength to get you through this. If you give up completely then you'll lose your baby for sure and maybe more. I know how important your faith was to you at one time and I think it still is deep down let us help you," I urge Clare and she finally nods.

"Okay it would be nice to have you guys over so much and I have been feeling pretty…lost since my faith began waning," Clare says rolling over again to look at us.

"Good then we'll start tomorrow evening when Mark gets off work," Meghan smiles just as Drew appears in the doorway carrying a tray.

"We should go and let you eat lunch but we'll see you tomorrow evening," I tell Clare bending down to kiss her cheek. Meghan does the same, we say goodbye to Drew and leave Clare to eat.

"I hope we can help her, I really think Clare will do better when she finds her faith in God again," Meghan says as we walk to my car.

"Me too Sunshine and I think we will," I say and take her into my arms kissing my beautiful girlfriend.

**(DREW)**

I wake up suddenly when I feel Clare jolt up in bed, she sits up and starts shaking, I realize she's crying. I sit up putting my arms around her and kissing the back of her neck.

"Bad dream?" I ask but I know that's what it is. Clare nods her head and turns into me and cries on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her more and start rubbing her back softly. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask her and she shakes her head. I sit with her and just hold her silently until she's done crying. "You want to go back to sleep?" I question when she's done and she shakes her head again.

"I don't think I can," she responds sniffling in her tears a bit.

"You want to tell me about your dream now?" I offer.

"I died, or the baby died I'm not sure there was just blood everywhere and I was drowning in it, I couldn't get out of it," she tells me.

She's been having gruesome dreams like this a lot recently, ever since she had been admitted to the hospital for having contractions. Fitz and Meghan have been over nearly every day for the last five days helping Clare regain her faith. I think it was working, I mean she did seem generally happier while they were here and just after they left.

"How about a bath then? Or shower? The doctor said you could take short ones although you will have to be up and out of bed for your appointment tomorrow so maybe not. A bath would relax you though, a sponge bath? I'll sit in the washroom and wash you and rub you until you get tired again," I propose.

"A sponge bath sounds nice and I would like to get out of bed if only for a bit," Clare tells me wiping her eyes.

"A sponge bath it is then, wait right here and I'll go start the water, I'll be back in just a minute," I tell Clare and she nods.

Getting up I walk to the washroom turning on the light then dimming it because it's too bright and then turning on the bath water. I adjust it to the right temperature and then go back to the bedroom, helping Clare out bed and to the washroom. It's not as though she can't walk but she's supposed to stay off her feet as much as possible. I help her get her nightie off and she gets in the tub, I turn the water off when it's just to her belly button. Clare leans back against the tub wall and reaches for my hand, I take her hand moving up so I can sit near her. Clare looks at me and gives me a soft smile; it's a reassuring smile so that I know she's okay. I smile back and give her a soft kiss running my fingers through her hair. She locks eyes with mine, so many emotions swirl around in their crystal blue it's hard to pick them all out. Fear about dying and losing our daughter is most prominent, under that a deep love and appreciation I know she holds just for me, exhaustion, uncertainty, anxiousness and even peace they are all there in her eyes.

Clare seems to get nervous with me watching her and closes her eyes leaning her head against the wall. I watch her a second just taking in her beauty and gorgeously milky porcelain skin. My eyes drift down following the line from her nose to her cherub lips and down her chin and her neck, the curves of her luscious mounds of breasts and then to the bump of her pregnant belly. Our daughters home until she's ready to come out and greet the world. It's incredible to me to think that there's a little life growing inside there, an entire human is being developed inside Clare's body, a little life that we made together. I gently put my hand on her belly and Clare's eyes shoot open.

"Sorry My Shining Jewel didn't mean to startle you just saying hello to our daughter," I apologize to Clare.

She smiles at me putting her hand on mine, "What do you think she'll be like?"

"Gorgeous of course, how could she not be with a beautiful woman like you for a mother and a handsome devil like me as a father," I reply and Clare giggles leaning forward to kiss me.

"Seriously Drew," Clare says leaning back again.

"I think she'll be tough and stubborn, I think she'll be creative and loyal, protective of her friends and very loving. I think she'll be smart and beautiful and the most loved baby in Toronto if not all of Canada," I reply and Clare grins just as I feel a tiny movement from her belly as our daughter kicks.

"I think we woke her up," Clare comments rubbing her belly.

"Yep and I think I better soothe her to sleep again but let's wash you up first," I remark taking a washcloth from the stack on the counter. I get it wet and add some body wash, Clare moves forward a little and I begin softly washing her back. I wash her front and spend extra time on her belly then do her legs and feet. Helping her stand and then get out of the bath, I wrap a towel around her and we go back to the bedroom. "Get comfortable on your side and I'll rub you until you fall asleep again," I tell her pulling down the covers.

"You don't have to," she replies while already lying down on her side.

"I want to Clare," I respond firmly but in a gentle soft voice.

Clare gets comfortable and I start rubbing her from her neck down to her feet until she's asleep again. Kissing her tenderly I pull the covers over her and quickly succumb to the exhaustion that I feel.

**(CLARE)**

"You know some of these names absurd," I remark flipping through the book of 1001 baby names that Audra got for me.

"Like what?" Maya questions from her seat at my feet.

Maya had been brought by Owen along with Tris, Zig and Cam. Stacey would be her too but they had all come during DeGrassi lunch time and Stacey didn't go to DeGrassi; Owen did promise he'd be back with Stacey and dinner after my appointment this afternoon. Drew was upstairs making lunch for the two of us and the others were keeping me company.

"Like Dorethea or Adamari or Margaoux spelled M-a-r-g-a-o-u-x just to make it ridiculously complicated," I laugh.

"Those are awful you are not allowed to name your baby any of those," Owen tells me.

"Here's one where you can name your baby by it's astrological sign, what's it's sign going to be?" Tris asks picking up a book from the table.

"If she's born on the 17th of September like she's supposed to be she'll be a Virgo," I tell Tris.

He flips through the book and finds the right page, "Anaan, Analaura, Anadita, Nadeeda, Naima is kind of pretty and it means tranquil."

"Naima is nice," Maya smiles.

"And tranquility is always good," I smile putting my hand on my belly.

"Yeah and not a trait that Drew has much of," Zig teases as Maya takes the book from Tristan.

"One of these names means drink of water," Maya giggles.

"This is silly people will name their children anything I'm not naming my baby one of those," I respond putting the book on the table again.

"You'll find the right name and you have lots of time," Owen assures me and I smile at him.

"What's your appointment for today?" Cam questions.

"Just a follow up but they have to check on the baby, and me, make sure that I don't need to be hospitalized until the baby is born," I sigh dreading the thought of needing to be hospitalized that long.

"You've gotten a lot stronger Clare I'm sure you won't need to be hospitalized," Owen tells me with a comforting smile and I smile back.

The upstairs door opens and Drew comes down the stairs with a tray, he sets it on the table and hands me a plate. I start eating as does Drew, Owen reminds us that prom is next weekend and I feel bad that Drew will be missing it. Maya, Tris, Zig and Cam start filling me in on everything that happened at school that morning until Owen tells them it's time to go.

"I'll be here with dinner and Stacey by 5:30," Owen tells me kissing my forehead.

"Bye Clare, Bye Drew," Tris, Maya, Zig and Cam say at nearly the same time and I laugh.

Drew and I finish eating lunch and he cleans up, I change the channel on the TV and wait for Drew to come downstairs again. I guess I was tired because I fall asleep and don't wake up until I feel Drew's lips on mine.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About three hours, I didn't want to wake you but right now we have to get your ready to leave for your appointment. I was thinking one of those summer maternity dresses that mom bought for you would be good since it will slip on and off easily," Drew comments.

"Yes the white one with the flowers please," I request.

Drew grins and goes into the bedroom, I get up and start to follow him slowly but he appears a minute later with the dress.

"Clare I was bringing it to you, you shouldn't be up," he scolds lightly stealing a kiss before he helps me out of my pajamas.

He helps me get the dress on then I go into the washroom and do my hair. When I come out Drew helps me slip on my shoes then he grabs my purse, his keys and wallet and we go out to his car. He opens my door for me before going around to the driver's side and getting in. He starts the car and looks over at me taking my hand; I know we both have the same secret fear which is that the doctor will say something else is wrong. We drive in silence each of us deep in thought but taking comfort in the other. Drew parks at the Dr.'s office and helps me out; we go in and sign in before sitting in two chairs. Waiting for a few minutes before the nurse calls us back; she weighs me and takes my vitals before telling me to put the gown on as she leaves the room. Drew helps me get the gown on and get on the exam table, he sits behind me and holds me until Dr. Davis comes in.

"Hello Clare and Drew good to see you again, so Clare your vitals look pretty good aside from blood pressure being on the low side but it's not too bad. How have you been feeling?"

"Pretty good I guess, stronger and I haven't had any more contractions or pain. A few palpitations but not many, my appetite's been good but I get a lot of heartburn and indigestion," I tell her.

"Both of those are normal for pregnant women even at 24 weeks. How about pain anywhere else? How's your sleep been?" Dr. Davis questions.

"My back aches most often, sometimes my body hurts in different places but it's usually from staying one position too long. My sleeps been okay, it's gotten better in the last few days but I still wake up with a lot of nightmares or have trouble staying asleep," I reply.

"Nightmares?" Dr. Davis questions writing something in my fiel and then guiding me to lie back on the table so she can do a physical.

"Yeah ever since she was admitted for the contractions, she's been having nightmares about losing the baby or dying herself," Drew explains for me.

"Yes that's completely understandable it's very frightening to go through that and with all the hormones in your body, being a young first time mother it all takes it's toll on the psyche. I can recommend a therapist if you'd like," Dr. Davis offers and I shake my head. "If you don't want to speak to a professional then I encourage you to keep a dream journal and write them down. Also to talk to people you trust about the dreams, Drew, Adam, Owen or any of your other friends you feel you can confide in," Dr. Davis tells me and I nod. "Alright you're looking much better than when I saw you in the hospital let's get your gown up and have a look at the baby."

I pull my gown up while Dr. Davis turns on the sonogram machine and gets the bottle of gel. I shiver slightly when the cold gel hits my skin and Drew squeezes my hand. Dr. Davis moves the wand over my belly and we begin to see a picture on the screen.

"Oh look at how beautiful she is," Drew gushes when he sees the image of our daughter. I have to agree she looks beautiful, like a tiny baby doll, the image reminds me of one I used to have when I was little in fact. "Is she sucking her thumb?" Drew questions leaning in to see the image better.

"Yes she'll do that a lot as well as moving around while she can, feeling the umbilical cord and her body," Dr. Davis replies moving the want over my entire bump and looking at every possible angle. "Well she's still small but I suspect she'll remain so, small but healthy that scare of early labor doesn't seem to have any lasting effects, of course we'll continue to monitor closely and I'm keeping you on bed rest for the time being," Dr. Davis tells me as she prints out a couple pictures for us, wipes the gel from my belly and turns off the machine.

"How long will I have to be on bed rest?" I inquire.

"Hard to say and even if we take you off you'll probably have to go back on as you get closer to your due date. For now just take it easy same as you have been and come back in if you have any more pains, bleeding or contractions. Make another appointment for three weeks and of course don't hesitate to call if you have any questions or concerns. Speaking of do you have any questions or concerns for me now?"

"No not that I can think of right now," I reply.

"Nope I think we've pretty well covered all my concerns since I call the nurses line about once a week," Drew says and I look at him.

"Alright then call if you do have any concerns and don't forget to make an appointment for three weeks," she says and then leaves the room.

"Have you really been calling that much?" I ask Drew.

"I just want to be sure that I'm doing everything for you that I can and I can't always think of questions at the doctor," Drew tells me.

I smile and kiss him passionately before he helps me off the table and helps me get dressed. We gather our stuff and stop at the nurse's desk to make an appointment, it's set for Monday June 13th at 11am.

"I'm sorry you'll be missing prom," I tell Drew as we're driving home.

"No prom is more important than you and our baby, anyway we'll just go to your next year. Although it might be mine too considering I'm probably going to miss all my exams and would probably fail them anyway," Drew remarks but this doesn't make me feel any better.

We're silent for the rest of the drive home and when we get there Owen is already here with Stacey and dinner from a seafood restaurant.

"Hey I found out it's good for you to eat fish high in oils so we got seafood for dinner," Stacey says as she hugs me.

"Great thanks," I smile sitting down as Owen starts to put food onto plates for us.

"Dude look at my beautiful baby girl," Drew brags showing Owen the sonogram pictures we got from the doctor.

"She's definitely a beauty, you're going to have to keep a close eye on her when she gets to dating age," Owen remarks.

"Don't I know it," Drew nods. Owen hands me a plate with salmon, rice and veggies on it kissing my cheek as he does and I smile. Drew, the proud and gloating father, shows Stacey the pictures. "Look at her beautiful eyes, they'll be just as beautiful as Clare's," Drew says.

"Drew it's a black and white picture, anyway it will be months before we know what color her eyes are or how they look," I tell him.

"Nope I can tell already," Drew responds stubbornly as he takes a plate with crab cakes and fries on it.

"So what did the doctor say?" Owen asks as he hands Stacey a plate and sits down with a plate of his own.

"I'm doing well and so is the baby but I have to stay on bed rest for now and I have another appointment in three week," I inform them.

"There's a chance she could be taken off bed rest for a while but she'd have to go back on it again as she got closer to delivering," Drew adds.

"Well at least you don't have to stay in the hospital until you give birth," Stacey says.

"Yeah and I hope I won't have to."

**Update next Tuesday with more of Clare's friends visiting and maybe a surprise or two.**


	19. Visions of the Things to Be

**Big thanks to Christlove88 for helping with the prayers and bible passages because I never would have been able to do it without her help.**

**Ch. 19 Visions of the Things to Be**

**(DREW)**

"We should be there to see Owen, Bianca and the others graduate," Clare complains just after my family leaves for the ceremony since Dallas and Bianca are graduating.

"You're still on bed rest and everyone understands why we're not there. That's why my parents are hosting the barbeque after the ceremony and everyone's coming here. Besides Owen's going to U of T, Dallas has a job coaching pee wee hockey next year while he takes classes at Centennial. Jake and Katie are moving to California but they'll be her for the summer with us and promised to come home when our baby girl was born. Bianca will be an hour away at Wilfrid Laurier, Eli will be in New York with Imogen but you know Eli will come home as often as he can and you aren't really friends with Imogen or Fiona who will be in Milan. And next year you and me will be proud parents of a beautiful daughter and back at DeGrassi with my brother, Dave, Maya and the rest of our friends," I remind Clare.

"I know but still we missed prom last night and now we're missing our friends graduate," she pouts.

"We'll have prom next year and we'll see our friends in a couple of hours. They'd much rather you be here and safe then take any chances," I tell her.

"I know, you could have been there today you know, you should have been keeping up with your homework and you could have gone in for your exams," she says.

"I wanted to be with you, I would have failed anyway I haven't been paying attention to much of anything since I found out you were pregnant. In any case we won't be alone all morning, Jay and Lucas are on their way over to hang out before the barbeque," I point out.

"Speaking of which I need to get up to get ready, can you get my light blue dress from the closet please? I think I'll wear that today," she says as she gets out of bed.

"Of course," I smile kissing her softly.

She takes my hand to help pull herself out of bed and starts walking to the washroom while I go to the closet to get her dress. Hearing the basement door I look out to see Jay and Lucas coming in and wave to them. Glen is of course going to see Jake graduate, Fitz and Meghan are also going to the ceremony for Owen but we invited Jay and Lucas to the barbeque and they wanted to come over early to hang out with Clare. Jay dropped by about once a week to make sure I was treating Clare right and remind me what would happen if I ever didn't. I knock on the washroom door and hand Clare her dress. I have jeans on but not much else so I go into the bedroom slipping a shirt on as well as shoes and socks.

"Hey she'll be out in a minute," I tell them.

"How's she feeling?" Lucas asks as I sit next to the on the sofa.

"Pretty good, a lot better than she was, she's still down sometimes but I think that has more to do with the fact that she can't get up and do anything, she's going a little stir crazy being in bed or on the sofa all day. She does still have nightmares though, not as much as she was at least but we're not getting much sleep, she has trouble turning off her mind and getting comfortable," I inform them.

"Drew," Clare calls from the washroom and I hop up.

"Are you okay?" I question walking to the washroom and she opens the door a crack.

"I'm fine but can you zip up my dress please?" She requests and I let out a breath.

I zip her up and we go to the sofa sitting with Lucas and Jay again. She sits between me and Lucas; moves about six times in various positions and then turns so she's leaning against me and her feet are over Lucas' lap. I kiss her forehead and she smiles. We talk with them a while, Adam texts me a few pictures of people graduating and then I decide we'd better start setting up for the barbeque.

"You want to stay on the sofa or lay down in bed again?" I ask her.

"Stay on the sofa I guess," she responds sitting up a little so I can get up.

"I can put pillows and stuff on the bench again so you can sit out there," I offer.

"Yes fresh air would be nice," she says.

"What pillows do you put out?" Jay asks.

"There's some outdoor pillows in the garage and I use the throw blanket from the back of the sofa," I tell them so they head out to the garage.

I get some sunscreen from the washroom and Clare's big sun hat from the bedroom then help her lather up with sunscreen. Just as I'm ready to get her outside Jay and Lucas come back in and Jay simply picks her up. We get her settled outside, lounging across the bench with her sunhat, water, sunglasses and some fruit while the three of us start setting up. First we have to get the folding tables set up and table clothes on them, then we set out a few chairs using the plastic ones and the ones from the dining room. Once that's all out we get all the food mom bought, we start by getting chips into bowls and crackers onto plates. Sodas and drinks into the cooler with ice and just when my parents are pulling up we're getting the fruit, veggies and cheese out. Mom and Dad get out of his car and come over to kiss Clare before greeting Jay and Lucas.

"Thanks for setting up boys, we're going to change and I'll get the barbeque going, everyone else should be here in twenty or so but Meghan and Fitz were coming straight here. Your brother will be here soon too he's coming with Luke and Becky," Dad tells me.

"Cool Clare's all set up she wanted to be outside so I guess we're just waiting for people," I reply.

"We can take over from here Drew why don't you go sit with Clare and see if she needs anything," Mom comments looking at Clare who is currently watching Lucas and Jay set up the lemonade dispenser.

I go sit with Clare but she doesn't want anything so I just hold her, Meghan and Fitz arrive first followed shortly by my brother and the Baker twins then Bianca and Dallas. Everyone greets Clare and shows her pictures of the graduation and tell her about it. Clare is happy and has high spirits for the party at least, she smiles a lot, talks a lot and eats a lot and stays on the bench like she's supposed to. By eleven my parents want to clean up and most everyone has left to celebrate with their own families. I take Clare inside and set her on the sofa, Adam, Dallas and Bianca hang out with us for a while to watch movies but Clare falls asleep about halfway through the first one so Bianca says goodnight to Dallas and they go up to bed. I pick Clare up and take her back to the bedroom, you think with her being 25 weeks pregnant I wouldn't be able to pick her up but she'd barely gained any weight at all, five pounds maybe ten. I set her in bed and she wakes a little.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she yawns.

"That's okay you needed it and it's late. Let's get this dress off you and I'll come to bed in a minute," I tell her. She helps me get her dress of and then she gets in bed; I kiss her and then get ready for bed. When I get back to the bed she's asleep again, I kiss her temple, wrap her in my arms and tell her I love her before I join her in sleep.

**(CLARE)**

I looked at the clock, it was 10 on Sunday morning and tomorrow I had another appointment with the doctor and was hoping I'd be taken off bed rest. Drew was currently upstairs getting us both breakfast since we'd only woken up a short time ago. I was feeling like I needed to stretch my legs so I got up to use the washroom and then decided to take a couple laps around the sofa.

"HEY!" Owen's voice suddenly yells and about gives me a heart attack. I turn around to see him coming in with Stacey, "You're supposed to be on bed rest sit down!"

"I was just stretching my legs," I sigh.

"I don't care you're supposed to be resting so rest," Owen orders as he pulls me to the sofa and sits between me and Stacey.

"I've been on bed rest for a month now I think I'm starting to atrophy, I just want to walk a little," I complain.

"Well your appointment is tomorrow right hopefully you'll be taken off bred rest," Stacey comments and I nod.

Drew comes downstairs carrying a tray and sits next to me putting his arm around me and kissing me gently. He hands me a bowl of fruit and yogurt with granola and we start eating breakfast.

"Let's play Forbidden Island," Owen says after a few minutes when he seems to get bored. We played this game a lot because I barely had to move and it's a cooperative game where we have to play against the board and work together.

"I'm going to be the helicopter pilot this time," Stacey says.

"I'm the diver," I speak up.

"You're always the diver," Owen says as he gets down the game.

"I like being the diver I can't drown," I reply and Drew tickles my side lightly.

Owen and Stacey set up the game pieces while Drew and I eat then we start playing. We're still playing when Meghan and Fitz come over having just come from church. They went home to change first of course and probably eat. They sit down and watch us play the rest of the game. Drew cleans up our dishes while Owen and Stacey greet Meghan and Fitz, when Drew is coming back down the stairs I get up and everyone looks at me. I walk to Drew and he gives me worried look as he puts his hand on my waist. I loop my arms around his neck and give him a chaste kiss.

"I think you should go out with Owen and Stacey or by yourself and get out for a while. I can't leave the house but you're not tethered to it and you don't need to be tethered to me. I'll be with Meghan and Fitz if anything happens they'll call you," I tell Drew.

"Okay I'll get out for a bit, I want to run a couple of errands anyway but if you even get indigestion I better get a phone call," Drew insists.

"I promise," I smile and take his lips for another kiss.

"Hey Clare's going to talk with Meghan and Fitz for a while and I'm going to run a couple errands. You two can hang out if you want but you should probably go out and enjoy your day," Drew tells Owen and Stacey.

"Cool I'm taking Stacey ice skating anyway, we'll call you guys later maybe come back tonight for dinner," Owen says he hugs Meghan, shakes hands with Drew and Fitz then hugs me.

Stacey hugs all of us and they leave, I sit back on the sofa, Meghan and Fitz sit on either side of me. Drew gets his shoes on and kisses me again reminding us to call for any reason.

"Today's sermon was all about how God's strength can help us overcome amazing hurdles in our lives and come out stronger. I wish you could have been there to hear Pastor James the way he said it was really inspiring," Meghan tells me with a smile after Drew has left.

"That would have been nice, of course I'd like any excuse to get out of the house right about now," I sigh.

"How are you feeling?" Fitz asks.

"Good mostly," I reply putting my hands on my belly.

"And your nightmares?" Fitz questions.

"I'm still getting them, they come less now, maybe one or two a week but they come," I inform them.

"Are they still the same?" Meghan inquires.

"Yeah always about me losing the baby or dying myself. As worried as I am about it I still want to be taken off bed rest tomorrow," I tell them.

"You've been feeling good and hardly moved, you've had no problems are pain since the hospital I'm sure you'll be taken off bed rest but why don't we pray for it if you'd like," Fitz suggests.

"I would but it seems like a silly thing to pray for, I'm just getting restless being in bed or on the sofa pretty much 24 hours a day," I sigh.

"Clare, you know that nothing is silly to God, he loves to hear us praying. He knows this has been difficult, but I know He wants to hear from you," Meghan comments, but I sigh.

"Why don't we pray not just about you getting off bed rest tomorrow, but that these nightmares might calm down or stop," Fitz tries. I think about it for a moment and then finally nod slowly.

"First let me read this as I think it's very fitting. I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11," Meghan reads and the we both take Clare's hands and close our eyes.

"God we trust you and we know you have a plan, although right now we all wish we knew what you were thinking. We thank you for bringing us all a gift in Clare and Drew's baby, but right now we ask that Clare's good health continue so she can come off bed rest tomorrow. We pray that this little girl would be healthy and strong and this would be helped by the diminishing of Clare's nightmares so she would no longer be scared Father. I also pray that you would strengthen Clare's faith in you again Lord and show her that her daughter is loved and precious to you and to all of us Lord. We thank you and praise you dear Lord. Amen," Fitz prays and then his eyes open at the same time as mine they connect.

"We have some more bible passages we thought would be good for you or we can listen to the music first," Fitz tells me.

"Music please," I reply adjusting on the sofa so that I'm more comfortable.

Meghan gets out her phone and we listen to several worship songs, I close my eyes and listen to the words. It helps, it's uplifting in a way and momentarily distracting, when the music ends they take turns reading bible passages to me and I keep my eyes closed, it's just more peaceful that way and it's nice hearing them read to me.

"I thought these in particular were suited for you and would give you something to think about. Romans 8:18, I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us," Meghan says, she reads the next few and then passes it to Fitz.

"Romans 8:24," he says and then clears his throat before he begins reading, "For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen?"

Fitz continues reading, he reads several more and passes it back to Meghan, I listen and take it all to heart. And then I become very tired, it's not that they're boring me it's the opposite really I become washed over with a sort of peace. The small amount of sleep I got after my nightmare last night weighs on me and it's like I can't help but fall asleep, their calming voices and peaceful words lulling me to sleep. No nightmares at all this time I have a very peaceful sleep and for the first time ever the dream I have is about my happy future family and not the loss I fear so greatly. In the dream I'm at a park, alone at first but then Drew walks up behind me and wraps me in his arms, he's slightly older, still handsome and boyish but with a wisdom in his eyes that comes with age. He holds me tight and kisses my jaw wearing a huge grin on his face, I follow his gaze to see our daughter skipping through the grass and picking flowers. A beautiful girl with his olive skin and dark hair but my bright blue eyes and cherub lips, she smiles at us and runs over. Drew lets go of me to pick her up and swing her around, then he holds her on his hip, she throws her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek then Drew looks between us both before kissing me softly and saying, "I love you wife." I smile and kiss him again extremely happy and wanting to stay in this moment again.

I do feel Drew's lips on mine and my eyes open kissing him back, he grins at me when he pulls away.

"I love you Husband," I yawn.

"I love you too but did we get married without my knowing it?" He asks chuckling a little.

My eyes fully focus now, I see Drew the boy of eighteen that he is and feel our daughter still in my womb. I start to sit up and Drew helps me, I realize Fitz and Meghan have left and it's now late afternoon so I've been asleep for a while.

"It was a dream, five years or so from now, we were happy and married. We had a beautiful and healthy daughter, you should have seen her Drew she was so gorgeous, she had all the best of you and me," I tell him smiling softly.

"I will see her Clare, when she's ready to come out and we watch her grow up," Drew grins putting his hand on my belly and rubbing tenderly.

"I want that moment Drew, we were so happy and our daughter was healthy, I want that moment again," I tell him.

"We'll have it Clare, with some patience we'll have it, just hold onto that moment Clare and we'll get there one day," Drew assures me cupping my face and kissing my nose gently.

"How long have I been out? When did Fitz and Meghan leave?" I question stretching a little.

"They left when I got back about an hour ago, they said you'd fallen asleep about an hour before that but they stayed with you," Drew tells me.

"You should have woken me; I didn't mean to fall asleep. I just became so tired and it was so peaceful listening to Fitz and Meghan read to me, after they played me these great worship songs. I feel bad for falling asleep while they were here to help me," I comment trying to stand and Drew stands up to help me.

"Don't be they understood Clare, they were happy that you were able to sleep and they were happy to stay with you. They know that they're helping you by coming over. It must be working because that's the first happy dream you've told me about in months. We haven't talked about getting married in a while do you want to talk about it again?" Drew asks and before I can answer my stomach growls.

"I think I want dinner as I seem to have slept through lunch," I reply.

"Mom's just finishing it now I'll go up and get us a couple of plates, Adam's home I can send him down to eat with us if you want?" Drew offers and I nod.

He goes upstairs and Adam comes down with a plate of lasagna and salad, he sits on the sofa and turns on the TV. Drew comes down a few minutes later and we eat together. Adam stays with us for several hours until I'm ready for bed, Adam says goodnight and Drew and I get ready for bed. I fall asleep quickly and happily in Drew's arms, I don't dream about our future again but I don't have any nightmares either. We wake up to Drew's alarm the next morning and after he gets us breakfast we get ready for my appointment. I'm brushing my hair when I feel our daughter moving, rolling over and I put my hand on my belly making a gasp at the sudden movement. Drew hears me even from the living room and rushes over with a worried look and putting his hands on mine.

"I'm okay she just moved, she must be getting restless and tired of being on bed rest too," I respond.

He smiles with relief and kisses my forehead, when we're ready to go Drew tells his parents we're leaving and we go out to his car. He's silent on the drive, actually he's been rather silent this morning and I worry that he's silent because he's worried. He parks at the doctor's office; we go in, sign in and sit in the waiting room before I'm seen. The nurse takes my weight and vitals then we wait for Dr. Davis. There's a knock on the door a moment later and she comes in smiling as always.

"Good morning Clare, good to see you Drew, so how have you been feeling?" Dr. Davis questions.

"Much better, no pains or problems, even the nightmares are getting better. I've been feeling a lot stronger and have barely moved in the last month," I tell her.

"Which is good your body needs to rest, why don't you lay back I'm going to do a physical exam and then a sonogram," she tells me and I lay back. She lifts my shirt and looks at my stomach pressing gently with her fingers and feeling around. She also looks at my feet, hands and face before turning on the sonogram machine and puts the cold gel on my belly. "There she is, rolled over I see," Dr. Davis comments.

"Yeah this morning she was anxious to get off bed rest," I reply.

"Well she's looking healthy, developing well I think we can let you off bed rest," Dr. Davis tells me I smile wide and let out a deep relieved breath. Dr. Davis turns off the machine and wipes the gel from my belly, waiting for Drew to kiss me in celebration for getting off bed rest. "Hold on I know you're happy but this doesn't mean you can just go out running or anything, really you shouldn't be up at all unless you have to be. This is like the seat belt sign in an airplane, you don't have to be in bed anymore but unless you need to be up you should be. I'm not saying don't go out and enjoy the day but take it easy, slow walking and take breaks, don't be on your feet too long and no strenuous activity. No heavy lifting, or exercise other than some simple yoga stretches, we have a pamphlet I'll be sure that you get one. If you do go out walking or anything else come home and rest, put your feet up, drink some water and stay off your feet still as much as possible. If you feel anything that doesn't feel right come in immediately, I'm not just talking about being in pain but if you feel contractions or aching or anything not normal than come in. It will be better to come in and have us send you home because it's nothing than to take the chance that it's something. In other words play it safe that should be your motto for the next several months okay?"

"Yes Dr. Davis we'll be careful, very careful," Drew assures her.

"Good, make an appointment for two weeks and I'll leave some things at the front desk for you," she tells us.

She leaves the room and I fix my clothes, we make go out to the front desk, make an appointment and the nurse gives us some papers. We go outside to the car but I take Drew's hands before he can open the door.

"Can we go to the park? Stroll through it slowly, we can get some water first, sit on every single bench rest under the shade of every single tree but I need to get outside and feel the sun, enjoy the air," I plead.

"Of course My Jewel we'll take a walk through the park and then go to lunch. One step at a time it's all we can do Clare," Drew says.

I smile and kiss him gently but full of love and when our lips part I tell him so, "I love you Drew."

"I love you Clare more than anyone, more than ever, now and for the rest of my life I love you Clare."

**Update next Tuesday starting with Canada Day and a surprise for Clare.**


	20. Sooner or Later the Ending Begins

**Sorry there was no chapter last night everyone, I had sick family members and a work deadline and between the two had no time to write at all. Sorry but it happens sometimes and family and work have to be the priority over writing.**

**That episode was so bad I think all of the DeGrassi Avengers got a headache from yelling. Well I can't say this is an exactly happy chapter but it's still better than that awful thing they called an episode.**

**Ch. 20 Sooner or Later the Ending Begins**

**(CLARE)**

"How far into the park are we going?" I ask Drew as I dress for the Canada Day celebration we were going to be attending.

"Not far but it doesn't matter you're not walking any of it," Drew responds zipping up the white and red dress I was wearing.

"Well I'm not watching from the car," I counter.

"Of course not, Fitz, Own and Jake have been building you a chair, like the kind Cleopatra had. You sit in the chair and we carry you on our shoulders," Drew replies.

"You're joking right?"

"I don't joke when it comes to your health Clare. The doctor said you didn't have to be on bed rest anymore but she also said you shouldn't be up if necessary. I know you've missed a lot being on bed rest, I know you want to go out and celebrate with your friends. I think you deserve all that but I'm not risking you or our daughter to have you walking and up if you don't have to be. I promise that once our daughter is born you can go out dancing and to parties and anything else you like," Drew replies holding my arms and kissing me gently.

"I know I love you Drew."

He says he loves me too calling me his shining jewel and we finish getting ready. We ride with Dallas, Adam and Bianca in the minivan; Becky and Luke like our other friends would be meeting us at the park. Drew parks the van and rushes around to open my door. Jake's truck is here with one of those, for lack of a better term, shoulder thrones in the back.

"You know that's just going to attract all kinds of attention to me," I grouse lightly.

"I don't care as long as the strain is off you," Drew replies.

"Oh good you're here," Owen's voice from behind me makes me turn around.

I see Fitz too but not Stacey or Meghan, they must have gone into the park already. Jake gets out of the truck but I don't see Katie either. Owen and Fitz get on either side of me and lift me by the arms into the bed of Jake's truck. Jake tells me to sit down in the chair so I do, then Drew and Fitz slide the chair forward and onto their shoulders. Owen and Jake lift it from the bed of the truck and put the back supports on their shoulders. We walk like this surrounded by Adam, Dallas and Bianca out to the lawn of the park. I see our friends and I'm set nearly in the middle of everyone. The chair gets set on the lawn and I slip off my shoes to feel the grass on my feet. Becky, Luke, Stacey, Meghan, Katie, Maya, Tris, Cam, Zig, Tori, Dave, Eli, Connor and K.C. all come over to hug me and say hi. My arms are getting tired of hugging when I hear one more voice.

"So I go away for a few years and you get pregnant," the sound of my sister's voice is so shocking and so familiar it brings tears to my eyes. I turn to the sound of her voice almost sure that I'm hallucinating but she's actually here! She looks like she might cry too and she throws her arms around me for a tight hug.

"Darcy what are you doing here?" I question still hugging her.

"Jake told me that you were pregnant and I was able to get away for a few days. I thought about coming out after my niece was born but I realized that would be too hard to predict. So anyway I bought a ticket and I'm here for four days before I go to India," Darcy tells me.

"Well I'm just glad you're here," I smile.

"So tell me everything, I want to hear all about Drew and your life for the last three years," Darcy says sitting down at my side just as Drew comes over.

"Drew this is my older sister Darcy," I tell him.

"Sure I recognize you from your pictures, it's nice to meet you I'm glad you could make it out," Drew grins.

"Yeah me too and it's nice to meet you as well, Clare was just about to tell me all about you," Darcy grins.

"I think I better disappear for a bit, I'll get us some food My Shining Jewel," Drew says kissing my cheek and walking off.

"Oh he's sweet is he always like that? Does he always call you that?" Darcy practically squeals and I can tell she approves.

"Yeah he has since he's been back; he was scared when I first told him I was pregnant. He was angry and scared, freaked out a little and took off but he came back, better, more grown up, more mature and very nurturing," I tell her.

"Well I approve, so dish little sister we have hours before the fireworks and I want to hear everything," Darcy grins.

I start telling Darcy everything about me and Drew, the pregnancy and mom's reaction. Drew returns with some food for us, setting the plate in my lap and smiling at Darcy. He sits nearby and never goes very far from me. Darcy isn't surprised by Mom's reaction but regrets that she wasn't around more. Darcy and I talk for hours catching up and it's like we're almost kids again, whispering secrets in bed long past when we should have been asleep. I hear all about her work with the missionary trips and her work with Me to We and Free the Children. I can tell that she's really happy and she's even dating a guy she works with. She's happy for me and approves of Drew very much.

Drew doesn't let me get up at all and when I do have to get up to use the washroom he walks with me. We chose a picnic spot near the washrooms so that I wouldn't have to walk very far. Day turns to dusk and twilight to dark and then the fireworks begin, Drew comes back to my side and I get out of my chair to sit with him, in his lap with his arms around me and his hands resting on my belly. Drew kisses my jaw and whispers he loves me as I nuzzle into his arms. The show lasts about 45 minutes all together and then it ends with a grand finale of some of the best fireworks. Drew and I share a kiss when it's over so we aren't clapping like everyone else.

"I know you probably want to stay but I think we should get you home," Drew says.

"I am fairly tired but what about Adam, Dallas and Bianca? I don't think they want to leave yet," I point out.

"I got a rental car I can take you guys home," Darcy offers.

"Great if you don't mind, you're welcome to hang out at our place for a while," Drew smiles.

"Yeah no problem so are we going to carry her back on the throne again?" Darcy asks.

"Yeah I'll get the guys to help," Drew says.

I say goodbye and goodnight to everyone then Drew, Fitz, Owen and Jake carry me back. They put the chair back in the bed of Jake's truck and I hug them all before Drew and I get in Darcy's car. I sit up front with my sister and Drew gives her directions to his house. Audra and Omar are gone for the weekend and won't be back until Monday. We take Darcy into our basement apartment and show her around before we sit on the sofa.

"It's small but sufficient and it's home," I tell Darcy of our little apartment.

"It's a palace compared to most of the places I sleep, I think it will be perfect for your family, especially while you're still in school," Darcy smiles.

"Hey I'm going to hop in a shower are you going to be okay?" Drew questions.

"I'll be fine go enjoy your shower," I tell him.

He smiles, kisses me softly and says goodnight to Darcy before he goes into our washroom.

"Jake and Glen know I'm here but I haven't told Mom, I can't be in town without seeing her though, I'm not sure when I'll be back. I'm here until Monday night and then I have to fly to New Delhi. I have to see Mom but I'll spend the rest of the weekend with you," Darcy tells me.

"It's okay I understand she is still our mother," I nod.

"She might still come around you know, I don't think it's very likely but it could happen. Have you heard from Dad at all?" Darcy questions.

"Not since he moved to France," I respond.

"Dad moved to France?!" She exclaims.

"Yeah and he didn't tell us, I got a post card that's how I found out, he never told mom. I didn't even get a birthday card from him," I reply.

"Sheesh our parents suck is it any wonder I ran as far as I could get and you fell in love and got pregnant at sixteen," Darcy says with a sardonic tone and I give her a look because she sounds like it's a bad thing. "I didn't mean it like that, not really I mean obviously we're both better off. Still if they were more supportive, if they'd talked more and been more open with us and really truly took an interest in our lives I have to think they'd be different now."

"Yeah I agree but I have Drew and his whole family, Jake and Glen, Owen, Lucas, Evelyn, Mia, Fitz, Meghan, Stacey, Dallas, Bianca, Jay, Spin and well you get the picture. It would be nice to have my actual parents but I have lots of people that love and support me," I tell her.

"Yeah I don't have quite so many but I've made so many good friends and done so much good. I was the one who ran but I don't regret it. Just be a better mom than ours was, I know you will be Clare," Darcy smiles and hugs me just as we hear the shower turn off. "I think I should go, I'm having breakfast with Mom, Glen and Jake tomorrow but I'll call you when I'm done I want to spend as much time as I can with you," Darcy tells me hugging me again and then getting up.

I see her out and then walk to the bedroom as I start to get ready for bed. Drew comes in after a moment with his clothes on again; he was expecting Darcy to still be here obviously.

"Darcy left so I could get to bed, she's having breakfast with Mom, Glen and Jake tomorrow but said she'd call after that," I inform Drew and kiss him softly before I go into the washroom to brush my teeth. Once I'm ready for bed I return to the bedroom and Drew's already in bed. I get under the covers and into his arms placing a tender kiss on his lips. "Thank you for today, for everything you did and all the time with my sister. Reconnecting with my sister was like finding a piece of me I didn't know I lost," I say to Drew.

"I'm happy if you're happy," Drew grins giving me a more passionate kiss, "I love you, both of you."

Drew moves down to kiss my belly and then up again to capture my lips one last time.

**(DREW)**

I was in our room getting dressed, it's Wednesday morning and we'd taken Darcy to the airport Monday night. After one breakfast with her mother she didn't go back and Darcy had pretty much given up on her. Darcy had spent most of her time here with us and it was nice to see Clare so happy. Clare was already missing her sister but she had talked all day yesterday about how nice it was to have that time with her over the weekend. Yesterday we'd taken it pretty east, mostly watching movies with my brother and Eli. Owen and Stacey came over for a while around dinner but they hadn't stayed very long. Right now my parents were at work, Dallas was getting ready to meet Bianca and Adam was cleaning up our breakfast dishes. I expect Clare to be lying on the sofa with her feet up when I get out but I find her standing at the fridge and clutching low on her pregnant belly! I rush to her fearing that something's wrong!

"What is it?" I ask putting my arms around her.

"I got up to get some water and I felt her move, felt sort of like a summersault in there it was just surprising," Clare tells me.

"Lay down I'll get you some water," I instruct her.

She goes back to the sofa to lie down and I grab a water bottle, Clare adjusts and lies on her side then grabs a pillow to prop herself up as I hand her the water bottle.

"Can't get comfortable, she's still moving, I feel like she's very low now or moving low," Clare says taking the water bottle.

"Should we go in?" I ask her.

"No not for moving that wasn't on the doctors list, it doesn't hurt it's just uncomfortable. Could you get me some more pillows?" She requests as she wrinkles her face in discomfort.

"Yes of course," I nod just as Adam comes downstairs again.

I get up and go into the bedroom to get more pillows while Adam sits next to Clare. I grab a couple and hear Clare make a noise sort of like she's in pain so I run out again.

"This is very uncomfortable," she whines as I put the pillows behind her, I sit down at her feet and she stays still for a few seconds before moving again. She starts to sit up and we both look at her, "I need to use the washroom," she pouts.

I let out a breath and we help her up, she walks to the washroom and I watch her. I know I'm probably being overbearing and worried without reason but I can't help it. The baby hasn't really moved that much and with everything that's already gone wrong I can't help but worry with something like this. I hear the toilet flush and the sink come on, then the water turns off and I hear Clare calling for us.

"Drew," she calls suddenly with a voice filled with extreme urgency and we leap off the sofa, "Ada…" Clare doesn't even get out my brother's name before she gasps like she's in pain!

I throw open the washroom door and find her doubled over, clutching the sink and her stomach. Her face contorted in pain and discomfort and we go to her sides, each of us taking one of her arms.

"Adam get the car we're going to the hospital," I command and Clare doesn't even try to argue. Adam runs out to get my keys and go start the car; I pick Clare up and realize she's shaking.

"Hurry Drew something's wrong," she tells me, her voice is small, filled with fear and urgency. She's pleading for help and I feel helpless. I don't grab anything or even lock up the house; the only though on my mind is to get her to the hospital. Adam has the car going and I get Clare in the backseat. We buckle up and Adam drives as fast as he can to the hospital. Clare holds her stomach and squeezes my hand tightly. "I'm in labor Drew, she's coming I can feel her," Clare says as she screams again and squeezes my hand tighter.

"Drive faster Adam," I tell him while holding her and feeling entirely helpless. All I can do is hold Clare and feel helpless; she's scared and shaking slightly but not crying. It feels like the drive to the hospital takes forever but Adam finally pulls up to emergency and we get out giving our keys to the valet. I take Clare in the door and look at the nurse at the desk. "HELP SHE'S IN LABOR!" I scream at the nurse.

"Calm down son we'll get her in a wheelchair a…" the nurse is saying when Clare screams in pain again.

"She's only 29 weeks pregnant she's already been in for preterm labor and they stopped it," Adam says quickly.

The face of the nurse totally changes now and she hits a button that sounds an alarm as she runs over to us.

"Did you have medication when you came in for preterm labor? How far along were you?" The nurse asks looking at Clare.

"She did and she was 22 weeks," Adam answers for us.

"How far apart are the contractions?" She questions as an orderly comes out with a gurney and a doctor rushes out.

"Agh!" Clare screams in response as another contraction wracks her body.

"She's in labor at 29 weeks Doctor Hotchner," the nurse tells them as the orderly takes Clare from me to put her on the gurney.

"Which of you is the father?" The doctor asks.

"I am, Adam call everyone," I tell my brother and he nods.

"Rush her into delivery, Dad if you're going to be in there you'll need to scrub up and get scrubs on come with me," the doctor says.

We're met by a nurse and another doctor, he gives them some instructions and then tells the orderly to show me where to wash up and get some scrubs on.

"I'll be right back, I'm not leaving you," I tell Clare and she nods.

I can tell how scared she is, her eyes are filled with tears now as well as pain and fear. Very reluctantly I leave her and follow the orderly, I have to wash my hands and then get full scrubs on with gloves and a mask even with one of those shower cap looking things on my head. Then they take me to Clare, she's in the delivery room with a sheet over her legs which are in the stirrups. She looks over at me and reaches for my hand, she's crying even harder now.

"She's coming, they can't stop it, I'm dilated and she's starting to crown," Clare cries.

"Dad stay up by Clare's head and hold her hand she's going to need you," a nurse tells me.

I nod squeezing Clare's hand as she screams again and I move right up to her head smoothing her hair. I wish I didn't have gloves on so I could feel her.

"Can't you give her something for the pain?" I ask the doctor as I hate watching her like this.

"No she's too dilated and the contractions are too close together," the nurse replies.

"Doctor she's bleeding heavily," the nurse says in a panic.

"She's had placenta previa," says another nurse looking at a computer screen with Clare's heath history on it. "Dr. Davis was hoping it would move up in time for delivery," the nurse adds.

"She's still at a partial and this baby is coming fast, do we have that fetal heart rate monitor on?" The doctor asks quickly.

I'm trying not to panic but they sound like they're panicking and it makes me panic more. I hold Clare's hand and look into her eyes reminding her to breathe.

"It's going the baby is in distress, the heart rate is climbing and so is Mom's," the nurse replies.

"Okay Clare the baby is in distress so I need you to give one good push and I'm going to reach in and pull her out. Ready…one…two…and push!" The doctor says and Clare bears down and pushes squeezing my hand hard. "Good Clare, she's out the chord was wrapped her neck and she can't breathe," the doctor tells us and I look up to see the doctor taking the chord from around my daughters neck! They put her on a little table and the doctor starts doing things I can't see in a rushed pace.

"Doctor Clare's bleeding out and we have another one," a nurse calls in a voice that is full of stress and urgency.

I look up my eyes wide and my brain still trying to take in everything I just heard. I know it was bad and what first hits me is that Clare is bleeding.

"Get that one to the NICU and on a ventilator, we don't have time to get her into the OR we need to a C-section and I need a second doctor in here. Get some sponges and Dr. Wheaton in here now," the doctor says with a calm yet panicked and worried voice.

"Drew," Clare says crying and in a weak voice just as they put something in her IV.

"I love you I'm right here," I tell her just as she starts to go limp.

"Doctor we're losing her, BP's dropping rapidly," one of the nurses practically screams.

"I'm sorry but you have to leave now Dad," one of the nurses says trying to pull me away.

"No I'm not leaving her, is she going to be okay?" I question desperately as she looks pale and lifeless.

"You have to we have to operate immediately we'll do everything we can to save Clare and your babies," a male nurse tells me forcing me away from Clare and putting me into the hall.

A bunch of people run into Clare's room with all this equipment and I just watch and then it hits me.

"_Babies?! I'm having twins?! No they're being born too early I might lose them both and Clare!" _

I can't even fully grasp this thought before a female nurse comes out of the room and over to me.

"Mr. Edwards…"she begins and I shake my head.

"Torres, it's Torres we're not married, not yet," I tell the nurse in a small whisper. I feel like I should be screaming and asking what's happening with my family but that's all that makes it out is correcting the nurse on my last name.

"Sorry Mr. Torres, you're having twins, they're about to deliver the second by C-section now. They're both girls we did a quick scan, it's rare for twins not to be discovered before delivery with modern technology but it still happens. Especially with how early Clare is delivering, the second baby was positioned just perfectly behind the other and their heartbeats perfectly in tune which is why it was never picked up."

The nurse is talking too calmly and in such a dry monotone voice that I want to hit her! This situation is not calm, I don't want to be talked to like I'm a toddler throwing a fit and I need to calm down! I want her to tell me what's going on and that my family is going to be okay!

"Will they be okay?" I ask her hiding my anger because I know it isn't her fault but I might not be able to contain it much longer.

"29 weeks is quite early but as much as 95% percent of the babies born this early survive," the nurse tells me and I can feel my heart pounding and somehow getting tighter.

"What about Clare?" I ask.

"She's lost a lot of blood, the placenta previa had not moved up all the way and there was some tearing along with that. The early labor and the emergency C-section have been hard on her body," the nurse replies.

"WILL SHE BE OKAY?" I scream and the nurse jumps a little.

"They're doing everything they can; they'll keep her in a medically induced coma for at least 24 hours so she can heal. We're replacing the blood and stopping the bleeding, the doctors are doing all that they can. Your children will be able to be seen in the NICU soon, I'll have a nurse take you as soon as they're ready. Is there anyone we can call?" She questions and shake my head just as an alarm goes off and she leaves me to run back into the room.

I sink to my knees on the cold, clean, hard tile floor, I feel like I can't breathe. I just got them back, I just found out I have twin daughters and they might all be taken from me. Clare might bleed out and my girls might die. Even if they survive what problems will they have? They aren't anywhere near being fully developed. My mind races trying to fully grapple that I have twin girls and they might slip through my fingers before I ever even see them. Trying to grasp that I might lose Clare again, for good this time, she might be too weak, she could be bleeding out in that room right now and I can't do anything!

I don't know how long I was like that, honestly I feel like I'm in a bubble, a dream world of my worst nightmares. I can hear the sounds of the hospital, the running of doctors and nurses, the dinging of elevators down the hall, the nurse at the nurse's station clacking away on the keys of a keyboard. I hear it all but it's like it's not real, it's like time has stopped and I've stepped out of it. It's not until I feel a hand on my shoulder that the bubble bursts and time starts again. I look up into my brother's eyes and mine begin shedding a stream of tears.

"Drew what is it? What's going on? Where's Clare?" Adam asks all at once and I know that my anxiety is making him worry but I can't help it.

"In there, she…she was bleeding and…we have twin girls. I haven't even seen them; I don't even know what they look like. They were born so early and they're going to be taken to the NICU. I haven't even seen them Adam and I might lose them, I might lose them all," I confess to my brother as he kneels down with me.

"Twins?! I have two nieces," Adam smiles doing his best to sound positive, the way he always does. "You won't lose them Drew, them or Clare they're too stubborn. I called everyone and they're coming, they'll be in the family waiting room," Adam tells me pulling at my arm and directing me into a chair I only now notice is against the wall.

I sink down into it putting my elbows on my knees and my head on my hands. A nurse comes running out of Clare's room and then there's a strong smell of blood and I cringe. Two little gurneys with plastic all around them are rushed out of the room and I don't remember seeing them being taken in. I can barely make out two tiny things inside, very small and not even pink, more of a blue grey. They are rushed away down another hall and I feel like I can't breathe, I look into Clare's room but all I see is blood and doctors rushing around.

"Clare will be okay Drew, she has to be," Adam tries to assure me.

"I can't lose her Adam I can't lose her or my daughters," I tell him.

"I know Drew," he says putting his arm around me.

I close my eyes letting the tears come and watching my entire relationship with Clare play out in my mind like a movie. A happy heartbreaking movie that seems to be my minds way of passing the agonizing minutes and maintaining what's left of my sanity. At some point I hear Adam tell a nurse to tell everyone else that's here for us what's happening and that we're back here but to stay in the waiting room. Sometime later I Adam whisper my name and I look up to see the doctor that was delivering my girls.

"Clare's being taken to recovery now, you'll be able to see her soon. Meanwhile your daughters are stable in the NICU and you can see them briefly," the doctor tells me. I nod and the doctor motions for me to get up, Adam comes with me of course. We're led down a hallway and around a couple of corners and under a large sign that says NICU. We're taken to a large room with a big glass window, I see many other babies in here. All in incubators, all very tiny and they don't quite look real. "There, front right corner, the two that say Torres Girl, those are yours," the doctor says.

I look over and see my tiny girls in their incubators; they look like dolls, little porcelain dolls. Too tiny to be real and yet they are, they're real, they've been born and they are mine. Both of them is most literally a part of me, I want to break through the glass and hold them, shield them from everything and never let them go. I almost fall against the glass just looking at them but Adam stops me.

"They don't even have names, we never got that far, we had barely started looking at names. Those are my daughters and they don't even have names Adam!" I exclaim it seems like a silly thing to be worried about but I'm still trying to grapple with all of this.

"You and Clare will pick some out together," Adam assures me.

"Clare should be all set up now if you'd like to see her," the doctor offers and I nod. "She'll be unconscious; we're keeping her in a medically induced coma for a couple of days. She lost a great deal of blood which is being replaced. It was complicated by her mitro-valve prolapse and she's very weak but we believe she'll pull through given enough time to recover."

He shows us to Clare's room and all I can think is that the doctor isn't even sure that Clare's going to make it. I walk into the room but I don't remember doing so, Adam is just behind me and we sit on the edge of the bed. She's hooked up to a heart monitor and a tubes and wires, an IV going pumping blood into her. I take her hand and hold it between mine, and look at the woman I love, the mother of my children and I know that she can't die because I know I can't live without her.

"Adam," I say to my brother without looking back at him, "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything Drew," he replies putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I need you to go to the waiting room and tell our friends and family what's going on. Tell them about my daughters and how Clare is. Tell them they can see my daughters and Clare soon but I need some time first, some time alone with my family."

"Of course Drew," Adam nods.

"And then I need you to go home, the checkbook to my university savings account is in Mom's desk in the bottom file drawer. Your name is on the account too, go to the jewelry store and get an engagement ring, something Clare will like. I want to have it as soon as she wakes up, I'm going to marry her Adam and I'm not putting it off any longer, life is too short."

Adam doesn't say word only hugs me and kisses Clare's cheek before leaving the room. With the image of our children fresh on my mind I look at the woman I love, mother of my twin girls, future fiancé and future wife. I have so much I wasn't to say to her, to tell her, so many ways I want to beg her to hold on and heal because I need her and the girls need her. Right now though I can't seem to speak so I only lean forward and take her lips in a passionate, desperate, loving and tender kiss.

**Update next Tuesday starting from around here. You all should know I wouldn't kill Clare by now.**

**RED that episode was so bad and so angering our little writers group took our mind off of it by playing Lemons. You and several other reviewers have answers on my profile.**


	21. Faith Hope & Love

**Hello my wonderful readers! **

**First to everyone that reviewed "He Touched Me & I Let Him Love Me" and sent me private messages thank you all for the overwhelming support, appreciation and understanding! I love all my readers and I love that you take the time to read my stories and that you all like them so much. For those of you that read that story will be happy to know that I'm not suspending it and in fact have a sequel in the works!**

**Secondly tonight's episode was less frustrating but I think they can do better than two good scenes (in my opinion anyway). If you'd like to rant with me about the episode feel free to PM, leave it in a review or find me censuring the writers on Twitter Halawen_DFF.**

**Ch. 21 Faith Hope & Love**

**(ADAM)**

I leave Drew with my best friend, the girl he loves and mother of his children and my soon to be sister-in-law. I want to stay and be there for them and with them but Drew needs me to do something important for him and that is how I can help him right now. I get out to the family waiting room and it's full of people that care about Clare and Drew. Mom and Dad are here of course, Glen along with Jake and Katie sitting next to him, Owen naturally and he's got his arm around Stacey. Fitz sits next to Owen and he has his arm around Meghan, Bianca and Dallas sit next to Mom and Dad. Luke and Becky are here along with Cam, Maya, Tris, Tori and Zig. Connor, Dave and K.C. are here too, of course Eli is here but somewhat surprisingly so are Imogen and Fiona. Not surprisingly Lucas is here as well as Jay and Lucas' mom Evelyn is here too. When they see me come in everyone looks up, Owen and Lucas along with Mom and Dad get up and come over to me.

"Where's your brother?" Mom inquires.

"How's Clare?" Lucas asks at nearly the same second.

"How's Drew? Is Clare okay?" Owen questions over them both.

I have to take a deep breath and prepare an answer before I talk. I look at everyone else still sitting; Owen and Lucas move a little so that the rest of the room can see me.

"Girls, it was twins," I sort of sputter out as my brain seems to think going with the most shocking news first is a good idea.

"TWINS!" Comes the collective exclamation of everyone in the room.

"Yes they're really tiny and look more like dolls than people but they're beautiful. The doctor said they have a good chance at surviving. You all can go see them," I announce.

"Wow I bet Clare and Drew are shocked but happy. How are they holding up? Are they really worried about the twins being born so early?" Owen inquires as he has a bunch of thoughts race through his head and asks all his questions at once.

"Drew is happy and worried about them but Clare doesn't know yet," I inform everyone.

"What do you mean she doesn't know? She's okay isn't she?" Lucas asks.

"She's in a medically induced coma; she shouldn't have given birth so early and her placenta previa caused a lot of bleeding, I think that was it. Her mitro-valve prolapse complicated things and she had to have the second baby delivered by C-section. It was all really hard on her body and she's really weak. They have her in a medically induced coma and they'll keep her in it for a couple of days but they think she'll pull through," I enlighten the room and my voice cracks a little at the end. Now that I'm not being strong for my brother the thought of losing Clare, of her dying without ever knowing her daughters, or even knowing that she had twins is scaring me. It's like it's all suddenly hitting me because I'm not with Drew and don't feel the need to be strong for him.

"They think?" Lucas asks.

"You guys can see her too but Drew wants some time alone with her first," I tell everyone. The room gets very silent and stays that way for several minutes until Dad finally speaks.

"Let's go see our granddaughters," he says to Mom and the rest of the room moves.

Everyone gets up and follows me down to the NICU and the big window that looks in. I point out the two incubators that hold my nieces to everyone.

"They're so tiny," Maya breaths.

"They really do look like little dolls," Tori says.

"They're gorgeous though, they'll get even more beautiful as they grow," Meghan comments.

"Give Drew some time and you can go see Clare, ask the reception nurse where her room is. Drew asked me to do something for him so I'll be back in little while," I announce as everyone looks at the tiny sleeping babies, hooked up to IV's, wires and ventilators.

"Want some company?" Eli offers.

"Yeah thanks," I nod. Eli puts a hand at my back and we leave the hospital, I still have the keys to Drew's car so we take that and I drive us to my house. "Drew only asked me to get one thing but now that I'm here I'm thinking we had better pack a bag for them and the…we don't have anything for the babies! We never had a baby shower or did any real shopping for after the babies were born!" I exclaim as I start shaking and sink into the sofa. It hit me, it's all hit me, the reality of everything and I just sort of lose it.

"Adam it's okay," Eli says sitting down next to me with his arm around my back, "the babies won't be able to come home for weeks. My mom's co-worker had a preemie and they kept it in the hospital until it's due date. We'll make sure the babies and Clare and Drew have everything they'll need before the babies come home. Why don't you grab what Drew asked you to get, and if you tell me where a suitcase is I will go pack it with some changes of clothes and some essentials for Clare and Drew," Eli offers.

"Yeah okay thanks Eli, there's some suitcases in the garage," I reply.

Eli gets up and goes out to the garage while I take another minute to collect myself. Then I go upstairs to Mom and Dad's room and her desk, it takes a second but I find the checkbook. When I go to the basement Eli is still packing, he's got two dresses for Clare and two pairs of jeans with two shirts for Drew. He also has socks and boxers for Drew but no underwear for Clare although he seems to be peering in that drawer of the dresser currently.

"Drew's not going to hit me for getting these things is he?" Eli asks with a slight sardonic tone to his voice as he holds up a black G-string.

"No but I doubt Clare needs a G-string," I reply laughing a little.

Eli smirks putting them back and pulls out two pairs of white cotton panties, he also grabs another bra for Clare. Then we go into the washroom and grab their toothbrushes, deodorant, Drew's hair wax, Clare's brush and makeup just in case. Just before we close up the suitcase and leave the house I remember to grab Clare a pair of shoes since she wasn't wearing any when we rushed to the hospital. I lock up the house this time and Eli carries the suitcase to the car putting it in the backseat.

"So what did Drew want you to get?" Eli

"A checkbook to his college savings account we're headed for the jewelry store he wants an engagement ring. He wants to propose to her as soon as she's awake because he says life is too short," I inform Eli sort of rambling but it's been an emotionally trying morning I'm allowed to ramble.

"Good he makes her happy and she deserves that," Eli smiles.

I pull up to the jewelry store a few minutes later and the snooty people working there give us a look. I can't decide if it's because we're two guys walking in together or two teenage guys coming in together.

"My brother is going to propose to his girlfriend and he wanted me to pick out the ring," I state and everyone relaxes.

"What kind of budget are we working with?" Inquires a thin male employee with dirty blonde hair.

"Uh I don't know not too expensive but something nice, white gold and maybe a colored stone. Amethyst is her birthstone that might be nice, they just had twins born premature and she's in the hospital," I reply not entirely knowing what we're looking for, and also babbling more than they need to know but again it's been an emotionally exhausting morning.

"I think I have just the thing," he says and goes into the back returning a couple minutes later with a ring pinched between his fingers. "It's white gold and the two surrounding stones are rose quartz which represents the true essence of love and cherry quartz which stands for hope. The middle stone is a pearl obviously which represents purity, faith and spiritual guidance. It's even engraved on the inside," the jeweler says turning the ring so that we can see engraved on the inside it says: **Faith, Hope & Love**. Considering that Clare has found her faith again and Drew is going to need a lot of it in these next few weeks, and that they've both had to have a lot of hope since even finding out Clare was pregnant. Not to mention they never would have come back together if they weren't very in love I think the ring couldn't be more perfect.

"It's great, perfect actually they'll both love it but how much is it?" I inquire.

"Well it was a special order but the guy never came back for it. He no longer wants it, the relationship is over so it's been sitting in the back room for months. I'll let it go for let's say…oh four hundred and it's yours," he says and I grin.

"Wrap it up," I grin getting out the checkbook.

I write the check and he gives us the ring in a little velvet heart shaped box and a pouch with some care instructions. Now that we have everything we head back to the hospital. I park and we go up to Clare's room, I don't remember the room number but I remember how to get there.

"We brought some stuff for you and Clare," I tell Drew coming into the room. It's packed with people but a lot of the ones that were here earlier are now gone, I guess there wasn't room for everyone. Mom and Dad are still here, so are Owen and Stacey, Fitz and Meghan as well as Lucas and Jay.

"Thanks," Drew smiles at us but it's a weak smile, a smile filled with worry and fear underneath the appreciation for us bringing some stuff they'd need. Drew is now sitting up higher on Clare's bed, near her upper arm and with his back against the slightly elevated bed. He has some wires draped over his legs that connect to the heart monitor. His hand holds her hand that doesn't have an IV. His other hands gently caresses her her temple and he looks at her with eyes glassed by tears, full of sorrow, fear and anguish but also a deep love and hope.

"Jake and Glen went to see if they could get a hold of Darcy and let her know. Katie took the younger kids home and Evelyn had to work. Dave, Connor, K.C., Fiona and Imogen said they'd come by tomorrow and asked that we keep them informed. I think we'd better go call family, we'll come back with lunch," Mom says.

She and Dad hug me and my brother, Mom kisses Clare's forehead but it's hard to get to her with all the wires and things. They leave the room and Eli puts the suitcase in the corner.

"Did you get it?" Drew questions.

"Yeah," I tell him pulling the pouch from my pocket, I open the pouch and then the box handing Drew the ring. "The stones represent love, faith and hope and it's engraved on the inside," I tell my brother.

"It's perfect Adam thank you, you too Eli," Drew grins looking at the ring and the engraving. "Put it in the box, keep it safe. How much was it?" He asks.

"Four hundred, it had been a special order but the guy never came back for it," I reply.

"Great that's even better and it's absolutely perfect," Drew smiles a little brighter this time.

"It's very beautiful are you going to give it to Clare as a new mom present?" Stacey asks.

"Actually as an engagement ring, when Clare wakes up I'm going to ask her to marry me."

**(JAKE)**

Dad and I e-mailed Darcy and got in touch with the Red Cross to let Darcy know what happened with Clare. Then Dad had called Helen and told her she needed to come home for lunch. I heard her car pull into the driveway and I look at Dad.

"Maybe we just shouldn't tell her, she's not going to care," I say to Dad listening to Helen's heels clack up the walk.

"No she has to know and if this doesn't pierce into her and make her come around then I'm done," Dad responds.

Helen opens the front door and walks in looking at us both and sort of glowers at me like I don't have a right to be in my own house.

"I thought you called me home for a lunch date," Helen sort of snaps at Dad.

"I called you home to tell you that your daughter is in the hospital Helen. She's in a medically induced come after giving birth to twin girls at 29 weeks," Dad informs Helen while gritting his teeth.

"I left work for this? That tramp is not my daughter any longer, what happens to her is in God's hands and he obviously thinks she is not worthy of children or to possibly live. Clare stopped being my daughter the day she willingly got pregnant out of marriage. She knew the consequences of sleeping with that boy and yet she did it anyway. Next time you want me to come home from work in the middle of the day make sure it's for something important," Helen barks back with her arms crossed over her chest. Her voice and eyes are ice cold and hollow it's as if she's become completely empty inside, perhaps she has.

"How can you say that? Any of that?! She's still your daughter!" I snarl.

"No she's not, she hasn't been from the moment she slept with that boy! And don't either of you go talking about this, she's on her own, I don't want people to know she…"

Helen is saying when Dad grabs her and holds her arms so she's forced to look at him. I've never in my life seen my dad so angry but he's looking at Helen like she's a threat now.

"NO CLARE IS STILL YOUR DAUGHTER, YOU CAN SAY YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE HER ANY LONGER BUT SHE STILL EXISTS! EVEN IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY TO LEGALLY DISOWN HER IT WOULD NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER! SHE'S LYING IN A HOSPITAL BED FIGHTING FOR HER LIFE AND SO ARE HER TWO DAUGHTERS! YOU'RE GRANDDAUGHTERS HELEN AND YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL! DON'T YOU EVEN WANT TO SEE YOUR GRANDCHILDREN OR ARE YOU TOO WORRIED WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY BECAUSE YOU'RE BARELY FORTY AND HAVE UNWED TEENAGE DAUGHTER! HOW CAN YOU BE THIS COLD? CLARE NEEDS YOU AND YOU JUST TURN YOUR BACK ON HER!" Dad yells but Helen seems totally unfazed.

"She knew what she was doing, she knew the consequences and now it's in God's hands and he turned his back as soo…"

"Don't you dare, you can't bring God into this like that, he's been with them through everything! God doesn't turn his back, most certainly not on innocent children. Clare and Drew used protection and it broke and their decision to have sex because they are in love doesn't make them bad people! God forgives and God loves but you won't even try! It might be in God's hands but that doesn't mean that Clare and Drew and their children don't need all the love, faith, prayers and support they can get. I can't believe your heart has gone so cold but you're going to lose everyone if you don't start feeling like a person again! If you think Darcy is going to choose you over Clare then you're wrong," Dad tells Helen his voice is still angry but calmer, he's pleading with her. "Come to the hospital, just see them, if the faces of your grandchildren can't crack that heart then nothing will," Dad asserts.

"Have you been smoking Jake's pot? They are not my grandchildren, they are monsters and Clare is not my daughter. I have no unwed teenage mother as a daughter; I don't ever want to see her or those children. I hope they die and go to their eternal damnation and now I need to go get some food and get back to work, someone needs to pay the bills around here," Helen spits at us with venom seeping in every word. Then she turns and walks out of the house slamming the door behind her.

"She can't mean that? Can she? She wants them to die?! Has she totally lost her mind or her heart? How can she just let Clare go like that and not even want to see the twins," I say to Dad as I'm in complete shock at Helen's reaction.

"I think she meant every word, I truly think she'd just be happier if Clare died and she never had to hear about them again. Come on son we need to make a stop and then we'll go back to the hospital to see the twins again and see if Drew or the Torres' need anything," Dad tells me.

I nod and follow him outside, we haven't heard from Darcy yet but she's in impoverished India so it could be hours or maybe days before we hear from her. We get back in Dad's truck and he drives downtown to a law firm, a family law firm. I'm not entirely sure what we're doing here, I didn't think Dad was actually serious when he threatened to leave Helen but maybe he was. We go inside and Dad asks for a name I recognize, Chuck Murphy, he's an old high school friend of Dad's I've met a few times but I don't know him very well.

"Hi Glen, good to see you Jake what can I do for you?" Chuck asks after we've been shown back to his office and his secretary closes his door.

"Two things, first I need to file for divorce, as speedy as possible if you can point us toward a good divorce lawyer in your office. Second my soon to be ex-wife has a 17 year old daughter and I want to adopt her as my own and get all parental and custodial rights taken from her mother. The girl's father is already out of the picture; he moved to France and has little to no contact with her. I'm afraid my soon to be ex-wife might try and hurt her daughter who is currently in the hospital after delivering premature twins. I don't want Helen to be able to get anywhere near, or harm in anyway, Clare or her children. I can show a pattern of mental and emotional abuse. I know she's slapped Clare before and she just flat out told the two of us that she hopes Clare and her children die," Dad tells him.

"Hard to believe a mother could say that. Well with enough statements from others we should be able to show that there's malicious intent and child endangerment on Helen's part. Do you anticipate a fight from Helen?" Chuck questions.

"Not after what she just told us, she's completely rejected Clare and refuses to even admit she's her daughter. I want to protect Clare and her children, I don't want Helen to be able to get anywhere near them I'm honestly afraid of what she might do," Dad tells him.

"Alright then, I'll draw up some preliminary papers and talk to one of the divorce lawyers in the office. Can you come back at say 4:30? Not everything will be ready but we can petition a judge for emergency custodianship, especially with the girl in the hospital," Chuck tells us and for the first time since hearing that Clare was in the hospital I feel a sense of relief.

"I'll be here at 4:30 thanks Chuck," Dad smiles.

We shake Chucks hand and go out to Dad's truck; we're driving back to the hospital when my cell rings. It's a long international number starting with +881 so I know it must be Darcy or someone that's trying to get a hold of her.

"Hello?"

"Jake? It's Darcy they said you were urgently trying to reach me is Clare okay?" Darcy says loudly over a lot of static.

"No not really, Clare gave birth," I inform Darcy and talking loudly myself.

"This satellite phone must have a terrible connection because I thought you just said Clare gave birth?" Darcy responds.

"She did, she had twin girls, they're in the NICU but the doctor says their prospects are good. They'll be in the hospital until the week they were due. They're so tiny Darcy," I tell her.

"What about Clare is she okay?" Darcy questions.

"She bled a lot and had to deliver the second baby by C-section, they put her in a medically induced coma to heal but they tell us she'll pull through," I reply.

"I'm coming home, I'll figure out a way. Poor Clare, tell her I love her and I'm coming home," Darcy says and I start to say I will when the connection is lost or possibly Darcy hung up in a panic to try and come home.

"Darcy's coming home," I tell Dad after getting my phone back in my pocket.

"Good I think she should be here, you know I realize I did all this without even asking you how you felt. Divorcing Helen and filing for adoption of Clare," Dad remarks.

"Are you kidding I'll be glad to be rid of that bitch and have Clare as part of our family and my full legal sister," I reply and Dad smiles.

We park at the hospital and go up to Clare's room, Lucas, Adam, Eli, Owen, Stacey, Fitz and Meghan are still here. Of course Drew is still here too, he hasn't moved from his position since the last time we saw him. I doubt he's eaten or done anything but hold Clare since we left.

"We got a hold of Darcy, she's coming home," I tell everyone.

"And after speaking with Helen I'm not only filing for divorce but petitioning to adopt Clare," Dad informs everyone, "I want to keep Helen as far away from Clare and her babies as possible. I don't know what that woman's capable of anymore but I will not let her hurt Clare or my grandchildren."

**(DREW)**

"Good I don't want her near Clare or my children either, I don't want that woman to even think of them," I respond after Glen tells us he's divorcing Helen and adopting Clare.

"Is Daddy in here?" A nurse asks coming in the room and my heart starts pounding as I begin to panic that something is wrong with my daughters.

"That's me what is it? What's wrong?" I question squeezing Clare's hand and sitting up a little.

"Nothing is wrong, your daughters are fine, we have the both on vents and have umbilical IV's for feeding. They aren't jaundiced and we're monitoring everything else. The first one that had the chord around her neck is breathing better but she will need some C-pap therapy probably. They've been fully examined and secured and it's important that you bond with them. We can't bring them into Mom right now but you should come be with them," the nurse answers.

I look at Clare's sleeping face, she knows none of this, I'm not even sure that she'll survive and I'm reluctant to leave her but I do want to see my daughters.

"We'll stay with Clare, all of all us, go be with your girls," Owen urges putting a hand on my shoulder.

"We'll come get you if there's even the slightest sign of trouble," Adam assures me.

I kiss Clare's forehead and get off her bed following the nurse back to the NICU wing where my daughters are. I have to wash my hands really well and put on this gown sort of thing that's tight around my arms. The nurse says it's to prevent bacteria from getting in because they're immune systems wouldn't be able to fight off an infection. Then I'm taken back to where I saw the twins through the window but we go through the door. The room is very loud actually, nurses are moving around and several monitors are beeping. I'm taken to my daughters incubators which have been moved apart so a chair is put between them.

"You can sit in the chair and put your hands through the holes in the incubators there. Be gentle and be aware of the wires and tubes, don't massage or rub though it will be over stimulating for them. You can hold their hands, touch their chests and very gently stroke their arms or legs in one direction, like petting a dog. Be gentle but don't be afraid to touch them it's good for all of you," the nurse informs me, I nod and sit down.

I look at my two girls, they are so very small, they weigh less than two pounds each and they look like these little porcelain angel babies my grandma has.

"They don't even have names," I say to the nurse and my voice starts to choke with tears.

"Most preemies don't have names for the first week or two, when the mom wakes up you can discuss it. Right now bond with your children," the nurse urges again.

I slowly move my arms up and creep my fingers through the holes nervously and reach for my babies. Their skin is very soft but sort of wrinkly and very hair in some places too; of course there are babies with a lot more of the white hair I see on them so it must be normal. My fingertips barely touch their skin and I feel different, I suddenly want to keep them safe from everything, to breathe for them and make them strong. My heart swells and my body starts to shake. I look at my daughter that's to the right of me and very softly put my hand on her forehead, her head is partially covered by a little pink cap but I can feel her skin. Looking at my other daughter I do the same, they both jerk a little and sort of move toward me.

"You can talk to them; it's good for them to hear your voice. It will be familiar to them since they heard it in the womb," the nurse advises.

"Hey beautiful girls," I say with a shaky voice as tears pool in my eyes. "Everybody was here to see you. Even your aunt Darcy is coming all the way from India to see you. Your uncle Peter and Uncle Spinner and Aunt Emma will be here tomorrow to see you. I can tell you're going to be a handful because you surprised us by coming so early and surprised us by there being two of you. Then again I was a handful so I should've expected my kids to be. Your mom is going to be so happy when she wakes up, she'll be so happy to meet you and touch you," I tell my girls, my voice cracking again with emotion.

I move my hand down to their chests and just place my hands their lightly. They have breathing tubes in their noses, taped to their cheeks with the tubes held in place by lots of tape along the incubator. I'm careful to not touch anything but their skin, I want to hug them, to kiss their skin and never let them go but I can't.

"How long before we can hold them?" I ask the nurse.

"Not long, a week or two maybe. It'll be hard at first because you'll have to hold them with the vent and feeding tube still in. They need to get a little stronger but we'll start kangaroo therapy soon. That's where we put them on your bare chest for skin to skin contact and cover you both with blankets for warmth," the nurse informs me with a smile.

"Wait until you meet your mom; she's beautiful, smart and strong. She loves you guys so much and she doesn't even know there's two of you yet, two miracles that we made together. I love you, both of you," I tell my daughters.

Taking my hands from their chests I move them down to their tiny little hands, lying partially open on their heated mattresses inside the incubators. I slip one of my fingers into theirs, their fingers are so small my one finger dwarves their entire hands. But then the most incredible thing happens, their tiny little fingers curled around my finger and gripped it! My daughters are holding their daddy, they know me, they're saying they love me and they need me and my heart melted like butter on a hot skillet. I knew from that second that my life would never be the same again, I know I will never love anyone or anything this much or this way ever again!

**Update next Tuesday including Peter, Spinner, Emma and Darcy arriving. Adam and his parents getting to touch the girls and maybe just maybe I'll have Clare wake up too…maybe. Hey just be glad it didn't end on a cliffhanger!**


	22. There is New Promise in this Night

**Just a reminder that there will be no updates this weekend, it is 4****th**** of July weekend and I have a family reunion this weekend. Only Best Served Hot and Ghosts of Who We Were will not be receiving updates this weekend. There will be a one shot on Friday however depending on what I end up doing on the 4****th**** the one shot may end up being posted on Saturday. Best Served Hot will resume regular updates on July 12****th**** and Ghosts of Who We Were on July 13****th****.**

**Ch. 22 There is New Promise in this Night**

**(DREW)**

"Mom said that we could hold a baby shower as soon as Clare was able to come home and was strong enough," Adam tells me.

"Yeah, she'll like that, I know she's going to worry that we aren't set up for the baby and now we need two of everything," I reply.

It's a little after midnight so it's technically Thursday morning now. Most everyone left the hospital hours ago, our parents and most of our friends, Jake and Glen had left before everyone but Glen had to go sign some papers. The divorce papers weren't ready yet but a judge had granted emergency guardianship until the adoption was approved. Dad explained to me that if something were to happen to Clare in the hospital it would now be Glen that had the decision making power. Had Glen not signed those papers and something happened then Helen still would have had decision making power and she wished Clare to be dead. Not that we wouldn't have fought Helen but still there was a sense of security knowing that Glen was now Clare's legal guardian. As the twins father decisions about their care fell to me in a sense, at least I didn't have to make any for the first several weeks of them being in the NICU and even after that I figured the doctors would know best.

Owen, Fitz, Meghan and Stacey were the last to leave about an hour ago; the only people to stay were Lucas who was currently sitting with Clare. I wouldn't leave her alone, I knew she was hooked up to monitors and everything that would sound alarms if something happened but I didn't care, I wanted someone to be with her, to stay with her at all times so Lucas having the night off had chosen to stay at the hospital. Adam had stayed too, he offered to spend the night but there wasn't anywhere for him to sleep and I told him he should go sleep in his own bed. Still he was staying with me until I was tired but I wasn't tired yet. Since touching my children for the first time this afternoon I had barely wanted to leave them, but I didn't want to leave Clare either so I was going back and forth from her room to the NICU to be with my future wife and my children. I was allowed in the NICU at any time day or night as their father. Adam, my parents, Jake and Glen were also allowed in at most times but typically not after ten all though they were allowing Adam in with me right now.

Everyone had come and seen my girls but they couldn't allow everyone in because of the health risks to the babies in the NICU so only family was allowed in. Adam had already come in to see them with me earlier this afternoon but he was back in with me now, as much to see them and bond with them as to be here for me. I needed it, Adam's always been my anchor and with Clare unconscious I needed Adam more than ever. I often relied on his support more than I did my parents. I was torn because I wanted to be with Clare and be with her as soon as her eyes opened but I wanted to spend as much time with my girls as possible.

They're identical so they were made from one egg; the only way I can tell them apart right now is their incubators. One says **Baby Girl Torres 1 **and the other says **Baby Girl Torres 2**. The smallest one, the one we didn't know about that has been labeled as baby 2 until Clare wakes up and we can give them names, wears a CPAP mask because she has apnea, short pauses in breathing. They seem so young, weak and frail but the doctors and nurses keep telling me they're doing fine. My family, my world is in the hospital in critical condition and I feel so helpless.

"I'm sure she'll wake up soon, you know how stubborn Clare is," Adam assures me.

"Yeah I know, I hope the girls have some of that, they'll need it to pull through. We need to give them names, calling them baby one and baby two doesn't feel right," I tell Adam just as the one I'm touching and bonding with starts coughing a little, I take my hand from her worried that I hit something or put too much pressure on her chest. She doesn't stop and an alarm goes off and then I start to panic. "What happened? Did I do something?" I ask in an anxious worried voice as the nurses rush over.

"No it wasn't you, their lungs are still underdeveloped, lungs and their GI tracts will have the most difficulties right now. They're taking care of her now, why don't you let them rest," the nurse urges. I'm unwilling to leave and the nurse sees this, she puts hand on my arm and steps in front of me so I can't see them working on my daughter. "Drew I promise you that if anything should go wrong, if there is anything at all to be concerned about then someone will come to Clare's room to talk to you. Go get some rest and come see your daughters after some sleep," the nurse encourages.

"She's right Drew, you need to rest, you've been up for hours and you've hardly eaten. Come on you can lay down with Clare and hold her, I'm sure you'll both feel better," Adam asserts putting a hand at my back and pushing me toward the door.

I look at my girls one more time and then leave the NICU with my brother, we get back to Clare's room and Lucas is still in his chair. He's playing on his phone and glances up when he sees us come in.

"I'm gonna try to sleep can you take Adam home please?" I request of Lucas.

"Yeah of course," Lucas nods.

"I'll be back in the morning, as soon as I'm up and can find a ride," Adam tells me giving me a hug.

"Yeah me too but I won't need to find a ride," Lucas tells me shaking my hand while Adam kisses Clare's cheek.

Lucas kisses her cheek too and they both leave, I open the suitcase that Adam brought me and pull out some clean boxers and a t-shirt. Normally I'd just sleep in the boxers but being at the hospital I decide to sleep with a shirt on. The hospital staff brought us a couple of extra blankets so I grab one and carefully get onto Clare's hospital bed. I lie on my side, my head by her arm, I'm careful not to touch any of the wires or the IV then I pull the blanket over me. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep but as soon as I'm laying down and my eyes close I fall asleep. It's a deep sleep, I don't even dream, just sleep in this deep blackness but on some level I'm still aware of Clare, I can feel her skin and hear her breathing. Suddenly my deep sleep is disturbed by the sound of Clare's heart monitor, it's not really an alarm but the beeping has slowed down and the beeps have become too far apart. I'm not sure how I became aware of this in my sleep but I do and I jolt awake looking instantly at her heart monitor. Her heart rate has dropped, bouncing between 10 and 20 BPM, I know that isn't right and I'm about to press the call button when a nurse and doctor come in the room.

"You'll have to get off the bed Drew," Doctor Nash tells me and I get off Clare's bed.

"What is it? What's wrong with her? Her heart should be beating more than that," I say frantically.

"Her blood pressure is dangerously low, could be her mitro-valve prolapse but it's more likely that she has some bleeding somewhere. Nurse let's get her down to imaging right away I want everything," the doctor orders.

"Bleeding? Why would she be bleeding?" I question with panic as they begin unhooking Clare from all the machines and bring in a gurney to get her to imaging.

"She had a lot of tearing during the birth and then she had an operation, her blood pressure was already low and there was probably a small tear somewhere that we missed and is now pooling blood. We'll let you know as soon as we know, we may have to operate again, you aren't married is that correct?" The doctor asks.

"No not yet, her guardian can be reached on his cell phone but do whatever you have to do to save her life," I tell them.

"I promise son we'll take good care of her," the doctor says and leaves the room after the orderlies that push Clare out on the gurney.

I look at the clock, it's just before five in the morning so I got a little sleep but I feel exhausted still. It feels strange to be in Clare's room without her so I go out to the hall and lean against the wall. Suddenly I feel heavy, my heart feels like it weighs a 1000 pounds, so heavy it starts to pull me to the floor and I sink down. Sitting on the floor and pulling my knees to my chest. I lay my arms on my knees and my head falls on my arms and I start to cry. Tears just pour out like I've been holding them all in for years, when I hear the doctor coming back I stop and look up hoping for good news but he looks worried not happy.

"She has a tear on the uterine wall, it's small but it's bleeding so we need to operate and drain the collecting blood. Given her weak blood pressure and pulse the operation is risky so we need to have papers signed but we're preparing her now. We're contacting her guardian to get consent to operate," the doctor informs me.

"Are you saying that the operation could kill her? What if you don't operate?" I ask feeling the loss of Clare in my life as though she were already gone.

"If we don't operate she'll continue bleeding and she'll eventually bleed out. It's an internal tear and two big for us to try and treat with clotting agents. The surgery will be minimally invasive but I don't recommend going without the operation," the doctor says and I nod.

He tells me that someone will come talk to me and rushes down the hall again. I'm about to put my head on my arms again when I hear my name.

"Drew?" It's Fitz's voice and I look up. "What's wrong? Why are you alone in the hallway instead of in Clare's room with her?" Fitz asks.

"She's…" I start to say but my voice cracks with tears and I stop to clear my throat, "she's not in there, she was bleeding, she had a tear that they missed the first time. I don't know how, a lot of blood I guess or it was too small for them to see at the time while they were trying to stop the bleeding from the vaginal tearing and placenta tearing. They're prepping her for surgery and called Glen to get to consent to operate," I tell Fitz.

"Well they found it and they're taking her into surgery to fix it, I'm sure Clare will be just fine," Fitz tries to assure me as he sits next to me.

"What if it's not? My daughters have been alive for less than a day and I don't want to leave them when I go in there. One of them had trouble breathing, they are so tiny and fragile, not even fully developed, there organs are still developing and what if they don't make it? Their mom and the girl I love is back in surgery after nearly dying to bring our daughters into the world. They tell me she might die with the surgery and most definitely will die without it. I could lose everything, lose them all. I love them all more than my own life and I would trade my life it would make them all better."

"I know you would Drew but it won't make them all healthy or get them out of the hospital. Besides they need you, Clare needs you and your daughters need their dad," Fitz says.

"And what if I lose all of them? What if my girls lose their mom? What if Clare wakes up and I have to tell her that we had two beautiful daughters but they both died? I know the doctors are doing everything they can but all I can think about is that I could lose them all," I lament and start to cry again.

Fitz puts his arm loosely around my shoulders and we're silent for a moment. "Come with me," Fitz asserts standing up and pulling me up with him.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"The hospital chapel," Fitz replies.

"That's Clare's thing, it's not going to help me and it's not going to make them better," I respond as I stop walking.

"I know it's not but it could still help, and it won't make Clare or your daughters miraculously better but it could still help, it could give them strength. God already knows what is in our hearts and minds before we even think or speak it, but by praying it gives us the chance to hear out loud what we feel we need. We can have fellowship with others, and invite God into our lives. God can do everything without us, but he gives us the chance to do these things with him. It also allows us the chance to grow and look beyond ourselves and our wants and needs, look into our hearts and ask for what is important. Plus if we didn't pray and just let God do whatever in our lives, without asking for what is important then we would just stop depending on Him, and that's where we lose our way Drew. Faith and prayer is about depending on God and his love and healing, and knowing He will do what is right. Even if our version of right isn't always the same as His."

I'm still not sure but I'm willing to do anything if it has any chance of helping. I follow Fitz to the chapel and go in with him, it's empty at this time of the morning and it's a lot darker than the rest of the hospital. Lit with candles and dim lanterns and candles at the altar, Fitz sits down in a pew and I sit with him. He folds his hand and bows his head, so I do the same and Fitz starts to pray. I don't say anything just listen to Fitz's prayer for my family and for me, I do say Amen when he's done. We open our eyes and put our heads up, I don't know that I feel any better or that it will help but it couldn't hurt.

"Thanks but I think I want to go be with my daughters now," I tell Fitz.

"Yeah of course, I'll come by later with Meghan and call us if you need anything," Fitz says.

"Yeah I will thanks," I tell him managing a small grin.

Fitz walks out with me and we go to Clare's room, Fitz leaves me here telling me again that he'll be back and I walk to the NICU and sit with my daughters, both are asleep. I put my hands into the holes and gently caress them, they stir a little but don't wake up.

"Your mom had to go back into surgery, her body took so much, I never knew how much, how hard it was for her. She's strong though don't you worry, she's strong and she's going to come through and be here for you so you have to be strong and be here for her because she'd going to need you as much as I do and as much as you need us."

**(JAKE)**

"Son, Jake wake up," Dad says shaking me gently and I open my eyes.

"What is it?" I yawn blinking my eyes, they feel strained and heavy because I'm still tired and I see that it's still dark outside.

"The hospital called, Clare was taken back into surgery, she had a tear they missed before. I need to get down there to sign some papers and I'll stay there to be with Drew," Dad informs me.

"I'm up, I'm coming with you," I say jumping up.

We'd rented a hotel room for the night since we'd walked out on Helen, we had gone back to pack before she got home. One of Dad's clients had a rental house that would be ready in a week so we'd only have to sleep on lumpy hotel beds for a week. I pull on a pair of jeans, we find our shoes and wallets and leave, when we're in the car and driving to the hospital something occurs to me.

"What about Adam, Audra and Omar have they been told?" I question.

"Yes I asked the hospital to be sure they were informed, I was sure Drew wouldn't be able to think about calling them," Dad says.

The rest of the drive to the hospital is silent and it feels like a very long time before we reach Clare's room, only we find it empty.

"Drew must be with the twins," I comment just as Adam and his parents come in the room. "I was going to check on Drew, I think he's with the girls," I tell them as the adults start to talk.

"I'll come with you," Adam says and we leave the room walking down the hall to the NICU. We see Drew sitting in there and he's talking to his daughters, we go in and he looks up at us. "Any word on Clare?" Adam questions.

"No nothing yet, they know to find me here," Drew answers and we can see that he's been crying.

"How are the twins?" I ask.

"They're doing better…I think, this one still needs CPAP and she's been on the vent all night they had to do something with the oxygen or something to make it so her lungs were taking in more air. Nurse Dana, she's their primary night nurse, she said they were doing good and their both sleeping well and that's how their bodies heal and develop," Drew says.

We stay with Drew for a while, it's obvious that he's tired, not that it's surprising given all he's been through in the last couple of days. A little after seven a doctor comes in and looks at Drew.

"The surgery went well and Clare is back in her room for recovery, her blood pressure is up already. We closed the tear and drained the blood, her vitals are already stronger and that's a very good sign," the doctor says and you can see how Drew relaxes at this news.

"Let's go see Clare," Adam says and Drew nods.

He gently touches each of his daughters one more time and then the three of us leave the NICU to go back to Clare's room. Clare is lying in her hospital bed, all her monitors are hooked back up and she has several more bags on her IV than when we left this afternoon. The adults are talking again, they do that a lot lately, Drew sits down in Clare's bed and Adam and I sit in chairs at her bedside. We stay all morning but Clare never so much as stirs, not that we were really expecting her to. At ten Dad and I leave to pick up Darcy from the airport, she called us yesterday to say she was able to get a flight from the Red Cross. We tell them we'll be back in about an hour and run into Meghan and Fitz coming down the hall as we leave. Dad and I are mostly silent on the way to the airport, we park and wait in baggage claim, Darcy runs up to us and we embrace her. She doesn't even ask where her mom is, we weren't able to tell her everything on the phone so while waiting for her bags and on the drive to the hospital we fill her in quickly. It's a little after eleven when we get back to the hospital and Clare's room is full, Lucas is here, so is Meghan, Fitz, Owen, Stacey, Jay and of course the Torres family. When we come in Meghan and Fitz are saying a prayer over Clare so we wait to fully enter the room until they're done. Everyone saw Darcy on Canada Day so they know who she is and they all greet her. Darcy goes around to the side of Clare's bed that Drew's not sitting on, Owen gets up so Darcy can sit in his chair and she takes Clare's hand.

"Oh Baby sister I wish I had been here but I'm here now," Darcy says squeezing Clare's hand.

While Darcy has some time with Clare the Torres parents and Jay leave to go get lunch for everyone.

"Would you like to meet your nieces?" Adam asks Darcy and she nods so I go with them.

"They still don't have names, Drew is waiting for Clare to wake up so they can make that decision together," I tell Darcy as we walk down to the NICU. We show Darcy how to scrub up and then we take her in and to the twin's incubators.

"Oh gosh they're so tiny! They hardly seem real," Darcy breathes.

"You can touch them but don't move the wires or anything, you just have to put your hands in the holes," Adam tells Darcy.

She nervously reaches her hand in, her fingers moving slowly touch the babies arm and Darcy almost cries. "She's so soft but wrinkly, she feels so delicate. Hi little baby it's your aunt Darcy I love you," she says.

We stay for a short time and then Dad comes to tell us everyone is eating lunch. Darcy tells the twins she'll see them later and we go back to the room to see it more full than when we left. Peter, Spinner and Emma have all arrived, after greeting Darcy people get food and eat wherever they can find a spot. We stay all day and Darcy goes back to see the twins a couple of times. Drew spends his entire day going between Clare's room and the NICU. After dinner and just before we all leave for the evening Meghan, Fitz, Dad, Darcy and I pray for Clare and the twins in the hospital chapel. We return to Clare's room to say goodbye to her and everyone else, Darcy is staying at hotel the Red Cross uses, it's only temporary she'll come stay at the house with me and Dad next week. All of us kiss Clare's forehead, telling her we love her and we'll be back before we leave.

**(CLARE)**

I feel very heavy and like I'm floating all at once, something like Alice must have felt as she fell through the rabbit hole. If I'm falling through a rabbit hole though it's very dark and I can't see a thing. I struggle to move, to do anything at all, I become aware of a few things, first being that I'm not falling through a hole rabbit or otherwise. I believe I'm laying down, I can hear beeping, continuous beeping that is rather annoying, and I become aware of Drew, I can't see him or hear him but I know he's here, I can't even feel him although I do feel a weight on me, but I know Drew is here. First I smell his scent, sweet and musky it's unmistakably that of the man I love. And then between those constant annoying beeps I hear his deep rhythmic breathing, I know it's Drew's breathing I've been listening to it every night for months and I know his breathing.

I realize that the weight I feel is Drew, he's lying on me, I want to hold him to touch him but I can't seem to move. It's not just that he's lying on me it's that my body isn't responding to the fact that I want to move. After what feels like an incredible struggle my eyes manage to open. Even with them open it takes a while for my eyes to adjust to room and I realize that I'm in a hospital, not just that but I feel that I'm not pregnant anymore! I remember going into labor, I remember the doctors being worried and lots of people running around and being frantic, I remember Drew being worries but nothing else and I fear that I lost my child! I struggle to speak, my voice is weak and hoarse and I can't get words out at first.

"Drew!" I manage to squeak out in a terrified whisper but it's enough to rouse him.

He instantly wakes up, sitting up a little to look at me, his eyes surprised and then extremely happy and relieved. His eyes just take me in and lock with mine, he lets out a breath it sounds like he's been holding for days. His hands cup my face and he kisses me passionately and with so much relief and love.

"You're awake! I am so happy to see those incredible baby blues," Drew says with a very relieved and blissful voice.

"Th…," I stop and cough a little as my throat is dry and voice is weak. Drew pushes the button so my bed sits up a little and he pours me a glass of water then rubs my back while I drink. "Did we lose th…" I start to say but it's still hard to talk, thankfully Drew knows what I'm trying to say.

"No, we didn't lose the baby, she was born early but she's doing good and she's in the NICU with her sister," Drew informs me and my jaw drops as my eyes pop open. "Yeah," Drew grins, "twins, we have identical twin girls. They're very small, they look like dolls but they're gorgeous Clare."

"Twins? Two girls?" I breathe out hardly able to believe it.

"Yes and we need to give them names but I'm just so happy you're awake, you had me so worried. You were bleeding so much, you were so weak, you had a tear that they didn't see at first and you had to have another surgery less than 24 hours ago. I was so worried, I love you so much Clare," Drew says kissing me again.

"My children," I say when Drew takes his lips away, "I want to see my children."

"Of course," Drew nods and presses the call button, a few seconds later a nurse comes in.

"What is it Dr…" the nurse stops when she sees me, "well welcome back Clare how do you feel?"

"She wants to see the twins," Drew answers for me.

"Yes I imagine you do, I'll get the doctor in to look at you and then we'll take you in…"

"No I need to see my children," I state firmly and my voice comes out strong.

"Okay I need to get a wheelchair, you'll have to push her in and bring the IV with you, we can't disconnect her from it right now," the nurse says and Drew nods.

The nurse returns a minute later with an orderly and a wheelchair, they unhook me from the monitors but not the IV. It hurts to move so Drew and the orderly lift me into the chair, the IV pole connects to the back of the chair and Drew pushes me down the hall. I see the sign for the NICU and my heart starts to pound, Drew helps me wash my hands and then wheels me into the room full of sick and very small premature babies.

"It's good to see you Mom, your daughters have been anxious to meet you," a nurse says smiling at us, she's attending to another baby but obviously knows who Drew is.

"This is nurse Dana, she's the primary night nurse for our girls and some of these other babies. The other nurses are Alexandra, Holly and Lisa," Drew tells me pushing my chair to two incubators, there is already a regular chair here and Drew moves it to get my wheelchair exactly between the two. "And these beautiful girls are our daughters," Drew says turning my chair so he can pull it in backwards.

I gasp in amazement at my beautiful daughters, so small they look like the baby dolls Darcy and I used to have. They're hooked up to machines to help them breathe and eat, Dana explains it all to me while I look at the two miracles before me and my heart fills with love. Dana tells me I can touch them but my left wrist has an IV in it so I can only put in my right hand. I reach through the hole with my right hand and touch my baby daughter, she's so soft and my heart melts wrapping around her and bringing her into it.

"Oh Drew they're perfect," I exhale moving my finger down my daughters arm and she curls her little fingers around mine. My eyes fill with tears, happy, amazed tears full of love.

"Yes they are," Drew says and from the corner of my eye I see him kneel on one leg in front of me. I don't look over because I'm so absorbed in the sight of my gorgeous little miracle and there's another one just like her. Then Drew takes my left hand and I finally look at him, he's holding the fingers of my left hand and gazing at me. "The one thing this whole thing has taught me is that life is too short and I don't want to spend another minute without in it. I love you and the girls more than anything else in this universe, the three of you are my life and I cannot imagine nor do I want to think about how hollow my life would be without you. Clare Diana Edwards will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Drew asks slipping a very pretty ring on my left ring finger.

One hand is being held by one of my daughters, the other is being held by the man I love and his proposal has taken my breath away but I manage to nod. Drew smiles, kisses my ring, then kisses me as blissful tears flood my eyes and the nurses begin to clap for us. Drew smiles and stand up still holding my hand while I hold the hand of one our daughter's hands, Drew reaches through the other incubator and holds the hand of our other daughter. Our hands all linked now and I look at my family, my heart swelling with pride, happiness and love.

**Update next Tuesday from around here and everyone finding out Clare is awake and they are engaged, plus the babies finally get names.**


	23. Dreams Made Way for Plans

**I know this is going up a day late, way later than I had thought I could get it up but that's just how life goes sometimes. "Like I'm Your Lover or More Like Your Ghost" will still be posted it will just be late. Expect everything this week to be up a little late and be on the shorter side but I should be caught up by Sunday. Tomorrow's short story chapter will still go up although most likely it will go up on Friday. Friday's one shot is a quickie fluff shot anyway so I'm hoping I can catch up with that and then have BSH go up on time on Saturday.**

**Ch. 23 Dreams Made Way for Plans**

**(DREW)**

Clare goes speechless but manages to nod her head as she starts to shed a few happy tears. I kiss her ring and then her lips, standing and looking at my new family with pride. The nurse's are clapping for us and Clare is smiling, crying happy tears and still holding one of our daughter's hands. I lean down to kiss her again and I notice that she's shaking a little.

"My Jewel you're shaking," I remark letting go of our other daughter to cup Clare's face.

"I'm okay there's just a lot of emotion right now," she replies.

"I think we need to get you back to bed," I tell her.

"No I want to be with my baby girls, I don't want to leave them," Clare shakes her head.

"I know but you need to rest Clare, your body went through a major trauma to bring these two into the world, you're still weak. I'll bring you back in a few hours after you've had time to rest," I promise her.

"Drew's right Clare you've been through a lot and you need to rest. You and Drew are allowed in here anytime you want to be but you have to rest and take care of your own body too," Nurse Dana says with an assertive but caring voice.

"Okay but I want to come back after I've rested," Clare insists.

"I promise, we'll come back in a couple of hours after you've had some rest and some food," I tell her.

She reaches through touching both our daughters again and I do the same before I wheel Clare out of the NICU. I take her back to her room and get the IV pole next to her bed before helping Clare back into bed.

"I'm sure the doctor or a nurse will be in soon to check on you and I'll ask about getting you some food," I tell Clare.

"I'm not that hungry," she shakes her head.

"Well let's just rest for now," I reply getting on the bed and pulling her into my arms.

She nuzzles into me and clings to my shirt, resting her head on my chest. "We need to give them names Drew, they need names, they came into the world so early and we don't even have names for them," she says taking my hand and interlacing our fingers.

"So what would you like to name our daughters? Any ideas? We hadn't really talked about names, we kind of figured we had time," I comment.

"I want their names to have real meaning, something strong, something to give them strength and will always remind them that God loves them," she replies.

"Then we'll find name that mean just that, right now you need to rest and looking up names is not resting," I point out kissing the top of her head.

"I know but I'm not tired, I woke up and met our beautiful daughters and you asked me to marry you," she replies looking up at me and ensnaring my lips for a gentle and loving kiss. I feel her turning her ring on her finger as we kiss and it makes me smile.

"Do you like your ring?"

"I love it," she grins looking down at it between our bodies, "it's gorgeous."

"Adam and Eli picked it out, they said the stones represent faith, hope and love. It's even inscribed in the ring," I tell her and she let's go of my hand to take off her ring holding it up to the little bit of light in the room to read the inscription.

"I love it Drew it's perfect," she smiles putting it back on and grinning as she kisses me again just as the door opens.

"Good to see you awake Clare," Dr. Hotchner smiles as he comes in the room. "You've got some color back and your vitals are looking much better. How are you feeling, any pain or discomfort at all? Any dizziness or nausea?"

"A little weak mostly and some pain in my belly and down there," Clare replies, "but mostly I'm just happy. I saw my daughters tonight and Drew asked me to marry him," Clare gushes showing off her ring.

"Well then congratulations are in order," he smiles shaking my hand. "I think all you need is rest for the moment, I'm about to go off shift but Dr. Davis is coming on shift in an hour and she'll look in on you. I'll have the nurse come in and give you some more pain medication if you like. I doubt you'll feel hungry but if you need anything else, either of you, just press the call button."

"I think some more pain meds might be good, I'm kind of tired again though," Clare says.

"Yes you'll probably be tired for a while, you went through a lot and your body still needs to recuperate. I'll have the nurse come in, the pain meds will make you even more tired but as I said it's good for you to sleep. All the doctors and nurses are up to speed on your file and Dr. Davis is on shift today, I'll be back tomorrow night and the whole medical team will be contacted if it's needed. Right now get some rest," Dr. Hotchner tells us and we wave to him as he leaves her room.

The nurse comes in a few minutes later telling Clare she's putting some pain medication in her IV. Clare nods and yawns, I feel her fall asleep within a few minutes and I follow. I wake up about three hours later, it's daylight now, barely though as my phone says it's 6:14 AM. Clare is still sleeping soundly and I'm sure she will be for a while. I'm a little hungry and I really need a shower but I don't want to leave Clare alone. Now that she's awake I feel better, I'm not so worried about her but that doesn't mean I want to leave her on her own. So I lie with her in my arms until my brother comes in a short while later.

"Hey how is she?" Adam questions very quietly.

"She woke up and met our twins, and she said yes," I whisper back as I gently lift Clare's hand to show Adam the ring on her finger.

"Congrats bro, not that I ever had any doubts," Adam grins but keeps his voice low.

"Thanks can you sit with Clare while I hop in a shower I think I need one," I comment.

"Yeah I couldn't sleep so I came down her to check on you guys, I was going to sit with her anyway," Adam replies.

I smile and carefully start to get off the bed but Clare wakes up anyway, she grips onto me and groans slightly.

"Don't leave me," she whines rubbing her forehead against me.

"I just need a shower, Adam is here he'll sit with you and I'll be out in a few minutes," I tell her kissing the top of her nose.

She yawns and stretches a little, sitting up just slightly to blink her eyes and look at Adam. He smiles at her and she smiles back sleepily, I give her a quick kiss and get off the bed. After grabbing a change of clothes from the suitcase I go into the washroom and turn on the shower. The warm water feels nice and I stay in a little longer than I had intended and when I finally go out to Clare's room she's sitting up in bed and looking at the laptop with Adam.

"I know what I want to name our girls," Clare tells me as Adam gets off the bed so I can sit with her.

"So what are our daughter's names?" I question as Adam takes the laptop.

"The one that we knew about and was born first I want to call her Chianna Gabriella, Chianna means enduring and Gabriella means God's strength. She's had to endure a lot and she still will, she will her whole life and she will need God's strength," Clare says.

"I think that's perfect," I smile and kiss her softly. "And what about our little surprise?"

"I want to call her Adira Jeanette, Adira means strength and Jeanette means little gift of God because she needs strength and she was a gift from God," Clare tells me.

"They are both perfect, those names suit them perfectly and the names are beautiful just like our girls. Shall we go down there and see them, tell them their names?" I ask and Clare nods smiling wide. Adam gets her wheelchair and the three of us go down to the NICU.

"I heard about the engagement congratulations," nurse Carol says when we go in. She's another of our daughter's main ICU nurses.

"Thanks, Clare this is Carol," I inform my fiancé.

"It's nice to meet you," Clare smiles.

"You as well and it's good to see you awake," Carol smiles back.

"We've decided on names for them can we change their cards?" I request.

"Yes of course, and we'll have someone come to your room later with birth certificates for you to sign. One moment," Carol tells us while another nurse takes over feeding the baby that she was feeding. She takes the card from our older daughter's incubator and turns it over, then walks to a shelf getting a pen.

"Chianna Gabriella Torres," Clare says the name of our first daughter.

"A gorgeous name, it fits her perfectly," Carol grins, "but you'll have to spell Chianna for me."

Clare giggles softly and spells the name, Carol smiles and puts card with our daughters name back in in it's slot at the front of the incubator. I push Clare's wheelchair between the two incubators and we look at our daughter, Chianna and smile. Carol takes the card from the other incubator and looks at Clare waiting to write the name down.

"Adira Jeannette Torres," Clare tells her.

"Another very beautiful name for a beautiful girl, but you'll also have to spell Adira for me," Carol says.

Clare spells the name and Carol writes it down before slipping the card back in, then she reaches her hand into Adira's incubator and gently strokes her chest. Adam puts his hand in the other hole and strokes Adira's leg, Clare puts her other hand through one of the holes in Chianna's incubator and I put my hand in the other.

"Hi Adira, my wonderful surprise gift," Clare smiles at our daughter and looks at Chianna, "hi Chianna my strong girl, we love you."

"Chianna, Adira your uncle is here, you girls are so loved," I tell them both while caressing Chianna.

We talk to them a bit more and Carol says we can start holding them in a few days but they need to get a little stronger. They'll still need to have their vents and Cpaps on and we have to be thoroughly scrubbed and sanitized but we'll be able to actually hold them. Then she tells us we can start kangaroo therapy pretty soon too and Clare really wants to start that.

"Clare honey you're awake," Mom grins coming in the NICU with Dad.

"I woke up last night, I met my daughters and Drew proposed," Clare smiles showing my parents her engagement ring.

"Congratulations and welcome to the family," Mom smiles as she and Dad come over to kiss Clare's cheeks but Clare won't let go of our daughters to hug them.

"It appears that our grandchildren have names," Omar mentions to Mom.

"Yeah Clare picked them this morning and I think she picked the perfect names," I smile, "this is Chianna Gabriella and Adira Jeanette Torres."

"What wonderful names," Mom says with a soft smile.

"Chianna means enduring and Gabriella means God's strength. Adira means strength and Jeanette means little gift of God," Clare tells them.

"The names are wonderful Clare, very beautiful and very fitting," Mom smiles.

"Well then how are Chianna and Adira doing today?" Dad asks the nurse.

"They're doing very well Mr. Torres, in a few more days you should be able to hold them. Dr. Mitchell will be in shortly to be in shortly to look at them but they are doing very well. They're both fighters that's for sure," Carol tells them.

"Of course they're fighters they're my girls," I grin.

Clare smiles but I see that she's looking tired, she's having trouble keeping her eyes open and her arms up through the incubator holes.

"Clare you should go back rest, you can come back and I'll ask Dr. Mitchell to come speak with you after he's had a look at Chianna and Adira," Carol asserts.

"Okay, but I want to come back in a couple of hours. I am sort of feeling a little hungry," Clare tells us.

"That's a good sign Clare, let's get you back to your room and see about getting you some food," Mom says.

The five of us say goodbye to Adira and Chianna and go back to Clare's room. I get in bed with Clare and hold her close while my family goes down to the cafeteria to get us all some breakfast.

"I love you Drew, more than anything and I love Chianna and Adira more than I thought was possible. I'm happy we're engaged and I can't wait to be married and be Mrs. Andrew Torres," Clare smiles nuzzling into me.

"I love you My Shining Jewel and our two beautiful daughters Adira and Chianna are gorgeous. I am so lucky to have you three in my life, I can't believe I almost let you slip away," I tell her kissing her softly and she kisses me back with immense love and passion.

**(CLARE)**

I was done with breakfast and Dr. Mitchell had just been in telling us that our twins, while not totally out of the woods, were doing very well and getting stronger by the day. Chianna had even gained half an ounce, it doesn't sound like much but it meant she was getting her nutrients and her body was working. Adira hadn't gained any weight but she hadn't lost any either, she was sicker than her sister but she had been a surprise, an amazing miracle of a surprise and a happy one but no one had expected her. Dr. Mitchell said that Chianna had been taking a little more of the resources in the womb than her sister and that's why she was bigger and healthier. It had something to do with their placement in the womb, with Adira not being detected because of where she was lying in the womb in relation to her sister. Dr. Mitchell assured us that they were both thriving. When Dr. Mitchell had left Adam went to call people so they knew I was awake, most of our friends were already planning on stopping by at some point today but Adam was trying to get them all in around lunch so we could tell people all at once about the engagement and the girl's names.

"Hey sis you're awake," Darcy smiles when she comes in followed by Glen and Jake.

"Darcy," I exclaim with great surprise as she hugs me, "what are you doing here I thought you were going to India?"

"I did and I came back as soon as I heard, I came to see you and I saw my nieces," she tells me kissing my cheek and moving out of the way so Jake can see me.

"Hey sis glad you're awake," he says giving me a gentle hug and then Glen does the same. I want to tell them all my news but it looks like they have something to tell me first.

"What is it? You all look like you have something to tell me," I comment.

"Right after we left the hospital, after we knew you were okay, we went home and talked with Helen. After telling her what was going on she…" Glen pauses not wanting to say the next part but I already know.

"She didn't care at all did she? She didn't even come to see her grandchildren did she?" I state more than ask.

"No and after a fight in which I determined she has to be unstable I not only filed for divorce but filed to adopt you. I don't want Helen to have anything to do with you or the twins; I've been granted emergency guardianship of you until the adoption has been approved. I know you had no say in this but it was all for the safety of you and the twins," Glen tells me.

"That's okay I'm really happy that you adopted me and she's gone," I smile and Glen squeezes my hand.

"We have news too," Drew announces after a few seconds. "After waking up and meeting our daughters for the first time I asked Clare to marry me and she said yes," Drew informs them before kissing my engagement ring.

"Congratulations," Glen, Jake and Darcy all say together and hug me and Drew.

"We also gave the girls names, can we go see them again I want to touch them again," I request to Drew.

"Of course," he grins.

Adam and my future in-laws stay behind because they don't like too many people in the NICU at one time. Drew and Jake help me into the wheel chair and get my IV pole attached to my chair. Then Jake pushes me to the NICU with Drew, Glen and Darcy following us. We go in and they can see the names on the girl's incubators, after telling them how the names are pronounced and what they mean everyone agrees they are perfect names. We stay in with the girls for about an hour; Drew, Darcy and I touch the girls while Jake and Glen talk to them. I'm reluctant to leave, I don't ever want to leave them again but Drew and the NICU nurses keep insisting that I rest and since everyone is supposed to be here soon Drew wants me back in bed to rest. As soon as I'm back in bed and situated with Drew holding me our friends begin to arrive.

"Hey you're finally awake," Owen smiles and leans down to hug me.

"How are you feeling?" Stacey asks hugging me after Owen.

"Good," I reply just as Meghan and Fitz come in followed closely by Jay, Lucas, Spinner, Emma and Peter.

"What are you guys doing here?" I inquire as they all come and give me one sort of mob hug.

"Came to see you and the twins of course," Lucas smirks.

They say hi and hug me and then Connor and Dave come in followed by the Baker sibs. Bianca and Dallas enter with flowers and two little pink bears. Then Katie comes with Maya, Tris, Cam, Tori and Zig. All of them hug me and tell me they're happy I'm awake or ask me how I feel. When everyone has found a place to be in the room Drew and I look at each other.

"Very early this morning after Clare woke up and met our daughters I asked her to marry me and we are now engaged," Drew grins.

There's a big chorus of congratulations and Owen says it's about time, after more hugs and kisses on the cheek we tell everyone the names of our daughters. We tell them the meanings of course and everyone likes the names. My room is very crowded but no one cares as they all stay through lunch, I don't have much of an appetite yet but I do eat a little and I'm mostly just enjoying my time with my friends and family.

"When you get released from the hospital Clare we'll have a welcome home party and baby shower. We'll make sure that the nursery is completely set up for Chianna and Adira before they come home," Audra tells me while we're eating lunch.

"When am I getting released from the hospital?" I ask Drew since I really hadn't thought about it. I'd needed to know what happened and then found out I had given birth to not one but two baby girls. And then I was only concerned with my children, then of course Drew asked me to marry him and well thinking about anything but my future husband and our children kind of left my mind.

"We're not sure yet, since you had to go back into surgery Thursday they want to keep you for several days. You have an entire medical team and they're monitoring you closely," Drew tells me.

"I had to go back into surgery?" I question.

"You had a small tear that they missed the first time and you were losing blood," Drew informs me.

"I guess my body has been through a lot," I remark really more to myself as I'm still piecing it all together but everyone else nods.

Everyone but Lucas, Jay, Spinner, Emma, Peter, Owen, Stacey, Fitz, Meghan, Glen, Jake, Darcy, Adam, Omar and Audra leave after lunch, Drew and I go back to the NICU to be with Chianna and Adira for a bit. When we return to my room everyone is still there and seems to be talking about the baby shower and welcome home party. I get in bed with Drew holding me and I soon fall asleep. When I wake up again the only people still in the room are Drew naturally, Adam, Spinner, Emma, Lucas and Jay are the only ones left.

"Hey Gorgeous are you hungry?" Drew questions and I realize they're all eating dinner.

"No not really can we go see Chianna and Adira again?" I request.

"Of course we can," Drew grins putting down his food.

"You can finish eating first," I tell him.

"We'll take her, we haven't seen the twins yet," Spinner and Emma offer.

Lucas gets me in the wheelchair and Spinner pushes it down the hall to the NICU and after we scrub up we all go in.

"Here they are Chianna and Adira," I introduce my daughters to Spin and Em.

"They're beautiful Clare," Emma smiles.

"Very beautiful," Spinner agrees.

Spinner puts me in between the incubators so I can reach a hand through each incubator to touch both Chianna and Adira. I can't wait to hold them both, feeling them through little holes in plastic incubator cribs isn't enough. Spinner gently touches Adira while Emma does the same with Chianna; we talk a little to each other and a lot to the babies. After a while Lucas, Jay and Peter come in with Drew, Spinner and Emma say goodnight and tell me they'll be back tomorrow. Drew sits with me and the girls, mostly watching us and talking to them, Lucas Jay and Peter only stay a moment to say goodnight.

"When will we get married?" I ask Drew as he wheels me back to my room which is now empty, "And where'd everybody go?"

"Everyone went home, they'll be back in the morning, I didn't tell them to leave the doctor insisted on it he wants you to rest. When would you like to get married because I want to do it right now," Drew replies.

"Well I'd like to not be in a wheelchair and hospital gown when I get married," I laugh a little. "And I want our children there, I want Adira and Chianna with us so sometime after they get out of the hospital," I tell Drew.

"Good then we'll start planning; do you want a big wedding or a small one?" He asks.

"Small but I'd like it if Darcy could be there too, although if she can't stay that long I'll understand. Adam will be your best man I assume?"

"Of course he will, you know if Darcy can't stay maybe Eli can be your maid of honor, I'm pretty sure that he'd wear a dress for you," Drew offers and I laugh.

"I love you Drew," I grin and take his lips for a loving kiss.

**Update next week on Tuesday like it's supposed to be starting probably with Clare being released.**


	24. With You in My Arms Nothing Else Matters

**For those of you that were wondering how you pronounce the babies names they are Chianna pronounced Chee-anna and Adira pronounced A-deer-a.**

**To my fellow DeGrassi Saviors ranting with you was about the only thing that kept my sanity tonight. Next week I may just do Lemons for the whole episode so we're laughing not screaming.**

**Ch.24 With You in My Arms Nothing Else Matters**

**(CLARE)**

"Morning Clare, Drew," Dana says when we come in the NICU.

I still have to be brought in by wheelchair, they insist on it as long as I'm healing. I have to take short walks around the hallways to avoid blood clots but we have to be careful. I smile at Dana as Drew wheels me between Chianna and Adira's incubators.

"Hi Chianna, hi Adira how are my gorgeous girls this morning?" Drew says putting the breaks down on my wheelchair.

"Would you like to hold them?" Dana asks putting another infant in his incubator.

"Can we?" I question with immense hope in my voice as the thought of holding my daughters and not just reaching through the incubators makes me so happy I can feel my heart swell.

"Yes they're strong enough now for you to hold them for a short time. Here Drew you can sit in this chair and you can take off your shirt to lay her against your skin. Clare you can open your gown a little to put her against your skin. It's good for them to bond with you this way," Dana says.

Drew sits in the chair and takes off his shirt, I open my gown, taking it down a little on one side. Drew sort of grimaces at me when I pull it down enough to show some bra, but I hardly notice as Dana takes Adira from her incubator getting ready to hand her to me.

"Be careful of the CPAP machine and the wires to the monitors, she needs to keep them on and cradle her in one arm," Dana tells me placing Adira in my arms.

The feeling of holding my child is like no other, I feel her skin against mine, skin that was made in my body. She turns into me, her head resting on my breast and a stuttering breath is released from my throat. Gazing down at my daughter's blue grey eyes, she locks her eyes with mine and I smile at her taking her hand as she grips onto my finger.

"Drew she's perfect, she's so amazingly perfect," I say with happy tears in my eyes and look up at Drew just as he takes Chianna. He has to be careful of her oxygen tube but he's smiling down at her with such pride and euphoria. "They're both perfect, we made two perfect little miracles," I say with my voice almost in a whisper as I'm so happy I can barely talk.

"Yes we did, we made two perfect girls," Drew nods with a huge grin on his face.

"Hi my sweet Adira, you are so beautiful and so strong, so are you Chianna beautiful and strong. You're daddy and I love you so much and so do your aunts and uncles and your grandparents. I can't wait to bring you home and there are so many things we'll teach you and show you. You're going to get big and healthy and we'll take you home," I whisper to my girls.

We hold them until Dana says they need to go back in their incubators, she takes Adira from me and puts her in the incubator. As soon as Adira leaves my arms I want her back in them.

"You can come back in a few hours and hold them again but they need to rest and so do you Clare," Dana says as she puts Chianna back in her incubator.

Drew puts his shirt back on, takes my wheelchair and pushes me back to my room then he helps me into bed. After folding my wheelchair Drew joins me in bed and holds me.

"I want them back in my arms Drew; I don't ever want to let them go again. That feeling of holding Adira…there's nothing like it," I remark running my fingers over the cotton of his shirt.

"I know Clare I feel the same way; we'll be able to hold them again in a few hours. Are you hungry?" Drew asks.

"No," I shake my head.

"Clare you need to eat, you've barely eaten at all these last few days," Drew comments.

"I get nutrients from the IV I'm just not that hungry but you need to eat," I tell him.

"Then I guess it's good that we brought breakfast then," Adam smiles coming in with Mom and Dad.

"How do you feel Clare?" Audra questions setting down a tray of coffees.

"I feel amazing, we got to hold Chianna and Adira," I smile.

"You got to hold them? That's awesome," Adam smile.

"Wonderful I'm glad you got to hold them I'm sure that was an immense relief. We spoke to the doctors and you should be released on Saturday Clare so I thought we could have a baby shower at the house on Sunday. I know you don't have too many girlfriends and most of your closest friends are boys so I thought instead of a traditional baby shower we'd invite everyone close to you. Jake, Glen, Omar, Adam, Owen and Fitz have all been over helping get the nursery ready for two babies I made a list of things you'll need and things you might want and a list of people I thought you'd want to invite. You too can look over them and give the final ones tonight so I can contact everyone," Audra says handing us two sheets of paper with typed lists.

"Thank you Audra," I smile.

"How about your wedding? Have you thought about when or where?" Adam questions.

"When Chianna and Adira are home with us, I want them there at the wedding. I don't need anything big nor do I want anything big; the backyard might be too small but a park maybe or beach. Something outdoors might be nice if it's not too hot, something with shade though. We won't need gifts, not while we're living with you and if we're having a baby shower a short time before that people will already be buying us baby stuff," I remark.

"I'll look at some venues, let's see your original due date was September 17th so the following Saturday would be the 25th does that work for you two? That gives Chianna and Adira some time to adjust to being home and maybe we can arrange for your sister to be back for the wedding if she needs to return. If I start getting out save the date cards anyone that isn't local will know if they can make it or not and I can send RSVP's at the same time," Audra comments.

"The 25th works for me," Drew nods.

"Yeah the 25th is good," I smile.

"You look like you need some rest Clare, we'll go see the twins and let you rest. We'll come back tonight call us if you need anything," Omar says.

They all come over to hug me and Drew before leaving and I get comfortable in Drew's arms again since I left them to eat.

"I want to go back and hold the girls," I tell Drew.

"I know but you all need your rest and they've got Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Adam with them now," Drew says.

"I've been lying in bed for over an hour and that's almost all I've done for days in the hospital and weeks on bed rest. I'm tired of resting, I got to hold my daughter today and touch her sister outside of the incubator. I want to be with my children Drew, I want to go back and hold our daughters," I assert looking in Drew's eyes.

"I know My Jewel, alright why don't we get you out for a walk, and then we'll go see our beautiful daughters so we can hold them again. Maybe we can hold them longer this time, I can't wait until we start kangaroo therapy, just holding Chianna in my arms was an amazing feeling," Drew says grinning ear to ear with so much pride and elation he's practically shining a light of joy from his grin.

I smile and cup his face, kissing his lips softly before I sit up, I get off the bed and Drew follows me, then take my IV pole in one hand and Drew puts his arm around me. Walking is…well uncomfortable, I have stitches on my belly and down there, I have to walk slowly but Drew doesn't mind. We do our usual trip around the hospital wing and return to my room.

"Sit in the wheelchair, I'll get you some water and then we'll go see our girls," Drew tells me. I sit in the wheelchair attaching the IV pole to the side of my chair and Drew hands me my cup of water. I drink some and he pushes me to the NICU, Adam, Audra and Omar are still in there but come out when they see us washing our hands to go in. "How are my girls?" Drew asks when they come out.

"Beautiful, they are my perfect little grandbabies," Audra smiles, "we'll be back at dinner I'll make a big salad with chicken and wild rice."

I thank Audra and kiss my future mother-in-laws cheek. They say goodbye to us again and we go into the NICU, Dana smiles at us as Drew parks my wheelchair between the two incubators.

"Can we hold them again?" I ask her.

"Of course, Drew grab that chair there and Kayla will get Chianna and Adira for you," Dana says and another nurse nods.

Kayla comes over opening Chianna's incubator and I hold my arms out for her. Kayla carefully hands her to me watching the tubes and wires that are attached to her. My breath almost stops when I get her in my arms, her tiny body cradled by one arm. I feel the same amazed gleeful sensation I felt when I had Adira in my arms. How can it be possible to love someone so much, not one but two little tiny beings that Drew and I made and they grew inside me. Drew takes Adira and I glance up at him to see the joy on his face, he's in love, he looks up at me and our eyes lock. Drew is grinning wide like the Cheshire Cat and looks so filled with happy I expect him to float away at any moment. I know I have the same look on my face, that I am just radiating so much happiness it must be filling the room.

It's not as though we aren't still worried about them, they have a long road ahead of them and they won't even be released from the hospital for another 8 weeks. We know that there are a multitude of complications they might have, and they will probably have slow development and possible health problems their entire lives. We know they aren't out of the woods and that there is still a lot that can go wrong and lots of reason to worry but the feeling of holding my babies in my arms completely outshines all of that. I have daughters! Beautiful, miraculous, amazing daughters that I made with my finance and as long as I have one of them in my arms nothing else matters!

**(DREW)**

I hear the nurse come in for Clare's 6am vitals check and I wake up. It's Saturday morning and Clare will be discharged today, assuming the doctor gives her the go ahead of course. I couldn't wait to get Clare home; I wish we could take Chianna and Adira home with us but they have to stay in the hospital to get bigger and stronger. I hear the nurse leave and decide I desperately need a shower, Clare had one last night and there isn't enough room in the shower for both of us. I move a little so I can get to Clare's lips and place a soft kiss on them which wakes her up.

"Morning My Shining Jewel, I'm gonna shower will you be okay for a few minutes?" I question.

"What time is it?" She yawns nuzzling into me a little more and not opening her eyes.

"6:11 says the clock on the wall," I reply and she groans,

"Go shower, I'll go back to sleep," she yawns.

I kiss her again and gently get her out of my arms before getting out of the bed. Going to our suitcase, which has been taken home, re-packed and brought back to us many times, I pick out some clean clothes and go into the small washroom. Turning on the water I wait for it to get warm before I take off my boxers to get in, relaxing into the hot water, letting it wash over me and, at least in part, wash away some of the stress that's built up, I lean against the wall and just stay under the water for a couple of minutes. When I hear the door to Clare's room open I wash my hair quickly and turn off the water, grabbing one of the thin hospital towels to dry off. I can hear a male voice in with Clare that I believe to be the doctor; I quickly get dressed and open the door to see Clare with her legs up and spread apart and the doctor's head between them. Obviously he's examining her, looking at her stitches I guess to see how they are, most of them have dissolved, she's healing up nicely everywhere and I would know as I like to do my own examination on a daily basis.

"Very good Clare, you healed up very well and there will be minimal scarring. Let's see the C-section suture," Dr. Hotchner says standing up and pulling Clare's gown up a little more while she puts her legs down. She has staples here, it doesn't look pleasant but it's healing, she'll have to come back in about 3 weeks to get the staples out. "Very good Clare that's healing nicely, is it still sore and tender?" He asks her.

"Yeah a little, mostly tender if someone touches it or bumps it," she replies.

"It shouldn't be tender for too much longer, do you remember the aftercare that we discussed yesterday?" Dr. Hotchner questions.

"She needs to keep it clean but letting the shower water run over it should be fine for the most part. She might still have some vaginal bleeding, as long as it's spotting and getting lighter it's simply discharge and no reason to be concerned. Heavier or darker bleeding and I bring her in immediately. She needs to take short walks and light activity to keep from getting blood clots. She can't lift anything heavier than our children which currently weigh a little under three pounds. Nothing too strenuous, no driving and we come back for a follow up to get the staples removed in about 3 weeks," I answer for Clare and she giggles slightly.

"Alright then I know Drew was paying attention. How's your pain level Clare? I can send you home with pain medication and a prescription if you need it," Dr. Hotchner offers.

"For the most part it's okay, manageable at a three or so but sometimes it shoots up to a 7 or 8. Usually if I move wrong or someone brushed against the incision or something," Clare replies.

"Okay I'll send you with a moderate one to take if needed, I'll send you with a few and if you find yourself in more pain and feel like you need a refill come back in so we can discuss it," Dr. Hotchner tells her and Clare nods.

"I understand Audra and Omar are on their way to come get you, if you'd like to go down to the NICU and see Chianna and Adira one more time before you go home. Of course you're welcome at the hospital in the NICU at any time day or night to be with your children," the doc says and we both nod. "Why don't you get dressed and packed then you can go to the NICU and leave straight from there. I'm sure Adam, Audra and Omar can get all your stuff packed up and in the car," the doctor comments.

"Thanks doc," I smile. He makes a couple notes in her chart and then he leaves the room.

"Okay let's get you dressed; I think Adam packed a nice loose dress for you. Just sit up on the bed and I'll get it," I tell her and she sits up. Going to the suit case I find a baby blue dress with flowers, a bra and panties then return to the bed to help Clare take her gown off. "Okay bra first, arms," I instruct and she gives me a look, "what?"

"I can dress myself," she scowls.

"I know that but I like doing it and the less stress on your body the better, now arms," I tell her again in a firmer voice and she sticks out her arms. Before I get her bra on I kiss her breasts because I can't help it and she giggles. "Okay lie down so I can get your panties on," I instruct and she lies down. I help her get her panties on and then slip the dress over her head. She gets off the bed and I find her shoes, I have to get my own shoes and socks on and we quickly pack up our stuff but leave it in the room. "Let's go see our beautiful girls again," I say to Clare offering her my arm.

She takes it and we walk down to the NICU, one of the NICU nurses, her name is Penny we know them all now, starts getting Chianna ready to be held. We get two chairs and sit down between the incubators. Clare opens some buttons on her dress so that she can put our child against her chest. Penny drapes a blanket over Clare's shoulders both for privacy and to help keep the baby warm. I take off my shirt and they give me a blanket too, mostly to keep the baby warm. Penny takes Chianna out of her incubator and I hold my arms out, cradling Chianna in my arm and put the blanket over her. She fits so perfectly nestled in one of my arms; I hold her close feeling her skin against my skin. Chianna squirms slightly until I put my finger out and she grabs onto my finger, gripping it tightly and pulling it to her face.

"Hi baby girl, you're daddy's little girl that's for sure," I smile kissing Chianna's forehead and then look up at my future wife and my other baby girl. "How are my other two gorgeous girls?" I ask Clare and she looks up at me with a shining smile.

"Amazing, we are both amazing! She's getting so strong, her grip is so much better. I love you Adira," Clare smiles down at our little surprise and looks back up at us. "I love you Chianna and I am so in love with your daddy," Clare grins and I grin back at her. I have to be the luckiest man on earth to have this perfect little family of mine.

We stay in the NICU holding our girls and talking to them until the rest of my family, that is my parents and my brother, appear outside the NICU window.

"Goodbye my beautiful girls, we'll see you later, we'll be back tonight. We love you so much, you're both so perfect," I say kissing Chianna's forehead and giving her to Penny to put in the incubator. I stand and kiss Adira's forehead before Penny takes her and puts her in her incubator. Then I take the hands of my incredibly strong and wonderful fiancé, I help her to stand and capture her lips for a loving kiss. "I love you beautiful mama," I tell her and she laughs.

"I love you," she smiles.

One last glance at our daughters and we walk out of the NICU, Mom, Dad and Adam all hug us and Mom says we're ready to go. Clare's been discharged and all our stuff is in the car. An orderly has to wheel Clare out, he takes her to the sidewalk and Dad goes to get the car. Clare and I sit in the very back of the minivan so Clare can stretch out a little, Adam sits in front of me, Mom drives and Dad is in the passenger seat.

"Everyone wants to come over to see you, I told them it was up to you dependent on how you felt. They're all coming over tomorrow for the baby shower so they can wait a day if you're not up to it," Mom tells Clare as she drives to the house.

"Thanks Audra, I feel pretty good right now," she responds.

"Still you should rest when we get home," I whisper to her and she looks back at me and gives me a chaste grateful kiss.

Mom parks at the house and Dad tells me he and Adam will bring in the stuff, I help Clare out of the car and we walk around to the basement. It looks pretty much the same as when we left although Clare and I haven't been here in ten days.

"Before you rest you should see what your father, Adam, Jake and Glen have been doing in the nursery," Mom tells us when we enter through the sliding glass door.

Clare takes my hand and follows my mom through our room to the nursery. Along with the white and yellow paint that was already in the nursery they've painted the door and trim a soft pink. They've put up twice as many shelves and some wooden hooks for hanging clothes or toys, the hooks are 4 feet up the wall so the girls can't reach them. There's a dresser that was built or refurbished and a large toy chest that's built into more shelving for toys. Best of all on opposite walls above where their cribs will go is our children's names, made from carved wooden letters painted pink and purple. One wall says **CHIANNA GABRIELLA **and on the opposite wall it reads **ADIRA JEANETTE**. Everything looks perfect and it doesn't even have everything it needs yet, but that should be taken care of tomorrow at the baby shower.

"I love it, everything looks perfect they all did an amazing job," Clare smiles.

"Well of course we don't do anything less than amazing," Adam comments coming up behind us.

"Good job bro thanks," I smile hugging my brother.

We thanks Dad too and Mom says Clare needs to rest so they go upstairs and Clare and I go into our room.

"You want to watch TV?" I ask Clare.

"Can we plan the wedding?" She asks.

"Pretty sure Mom is doing that," I reply.

"Yes but we have decisions to make," she points out.

"Alright Mom said she e-mailed them, let's go to the bed and we'll look at them," I tell her.

We sit on the bed and I grab my laptop from the desk, I turn it on putting the laptop on my lap and Clare leans against me. After a couple of hours of making wedding decisions from the venue, to the flowers, to the food, Adam comes downstairs and knocks on the door. I call to come in and he does sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Mom's making some lunch what are you guys doing?" Adam inquires.

"Wedding planning," I tell him.

"Drew how are we paying for this wedding?" Clare asks as she scrolls through the prices of floral arrangements.

"You guys are keeping it pretty simple, mom and Dad are using their negotiating skills and Dad's parents are paying for most of it," Adam informs her.

"Oh we can't do that to them we don't need any of this, we can get married anywhere, we don't need flowers or any of that. I'll be happy getting married on the football field at DeGrassi," Clare says.

"No we are not getting married at DeGrassi, this is our wedding, it's our celebration after all that we've come through," I assert to her.

"Drew's right Clare, besides my grandparents want to pay for the wedding. They are happy about their great granddaughters and even happier that Drew has you. They came in from Boston to be at the baby shower tomorrow and meet you but Mom's been keeping them well apprised. They've seen pictures of Adira and Chianna, and you of course, Mom's sent them sonograms and weekly e-mails," Adam enlightens her and Clare relaxes a little.

We go upstairs and eat lunch with my parents and brother, telling my mom all the wedding decisions we made and she gets very excited. Clare excuses herself to use the washroom as soon as she's done eating but at least she ate her whole lunch. When I finish and put my dishes in the dishwasher I come downstairs to find Clare looking at her belly in front of the mirror.

"What are you doing? You're not worried about the scar are you?" I ask her.

"No, I was just thinking I should be 31 weeks pregnant today. I'd be 31 weeks and still unaware that we had Adira," she remarks still looking at herself in the mirror and sort of drawing a line with her hand at where her pregnancy bump would have been.

"And instead we have beautiful 10 day old baby girls, strong, miraculous gorgeous daughters," I remind her.

"I know," she smiles, "Can we go back and see them now?"

"Sure, I'll tell Mom and Dad, Adam will probably want to come with us," I comment.

"Good he should come," she grins.

I kiss her and then go upstairs to tell them we're leaving, Adam wants to go and the three of us get ready.

**(CLARE)**

"Wake up My Jewel, we have a couple dozen people coming for a baby shower in a couple of hours and we need to get ready," Drew says waking me up Sunday morning.

"Mmm I'm up," I groan a little.

I thought I'd sleep great my first night out of the hospital but instead I was very restless. We didn't sleep with Adira and Chianna in the hospital, we weren't in the same room or even on the same floor but still they were close and last night they felt so far away. Drew and I went back at ten and stayed for an hour but I hated letting them go.

"We can get dressed and go say good morning to our girls before we come back for the shower," Drew says.

We both dress quickly, getting ready as fast as we can and jump in Drew's car to drive to the hospital. We park and go in waving to all the staff that we know as we walk back to the NICU. Dana greets us and we sit in two chairs, there's another couple in here holding their baby and they smile at us. It's the smile of someone that knows what we're going through, sad but hopeful, yet happy and full of pride at the same time. Drew holds Adira this morning and I hold Chianna, kissing my beautiful daughter and smiling at Drew holding our other beautiful daughter, two of a kind our little identical miracles. We can't stay for long but enjoy every single second with them, relishing the gift and then we return home. We're already dressed but I fix my hair and put on light makeup, then I go out and sit on the sofa.

"Hey hot mama," Owen grins coming in with Stacey, I laugh and hug him then Stacey and they say hit to Drew.

"Hi Clare you look beautiful," Meghan smiles coming in on Fitz's arm, they hug and greet me and when I let go of them Darcy comes in with Glen and Jake.

As I'm hugging and greeting them more guests spill in and Audra, Omar and Adam come downstairs. Dallas and Bianca come in first; he's been at her place most of the weekend so we could settle in to being home again. Luke and Becky are next then Katie who is followed by Maya, Tris, Cam, Zig and Tori. Spinner, Emma, Dave, Connor and K.C. follow them, a moment later comes Lucas, Evelyn and to my great surprise Mia and Izzy!

"Did you come all the way from Paris for my baby shower?" I smile hugging Mia tightly and then hugging Izzy.

"Of course we did, I'm sorry we couldn't make it out sooner," Mia says and she sits with Lucas, Izzy sitting on her dad's lap.

The gifts are piling up; Audra and Omar are collecting them by the door for us. Peter and Jay come in and then Drew's grandparents, his dad's parents and Audra's parents. I've seen pictures so I know it's them, they greet Drew smiling at him and come over to hug me, welcoming me to the family and thanking me for their beautiful great grandchildren.

We start with brunch, people eat and chat, I enjoy being with all my friends and my family. Grinning when I look around the room at all the many aunts and uncles Chianna and Adira have. After brunch we open gifts, there's a big box from Maya, Cam, Tris, Tori and Zig that's full of baby clothes, everything from socks to onesies and dresses. We thank them, Audra makes a note of who the gift was from and Omar moves the box while Adam hands me another. We get everything we need, two cribs, two bassinets, two swings, two high chairs, a changing table, diaper pail, play pen, baby blankets, toys, 2 baby books and gift cards for the store so we can get things like diapers and formula. My favorite gifts are the baby blankets from Fitz and Meghan that have the girls names embroidered on them and their birthdates. And Soft photo albums put together by Owen and Stacey that contain pictures of pretty much everyone that will be a part of Chianna and Adira's lives. Under everyone's picture they had them write a short message to the girls.

We thank everyone for the gifts at least a dozen times, the wrapping paper and boxes get cleaned up and the grandparents come over to talk about the wedding. Everyone leaves at three, saying goodbye and hugging us, well everyone not directly related to me and Drew anyway. Owen, Stacey, Meghan and Fitz tell us they'll come over in the morning if I'm up for it. While most people start busily talking about the wedding, an event that Darcy is staying around for before she goes back to India, I find that I'm tired but before I sleep or even rest I'm dying to hold my children again.

"Drew," I say quietly looking up at him.

"I know me too come on," he smiles standing up and getting me up with him.

"Are you tired Clare? We can move upstairs," Audra says.

"I'm tired but you guys are fine we're going to see Chianna and Adira, we'll be back in an hour or two," I reply as Drew takes my hand and we leave to go back to the hospital.

I just got out of their yesterday but all I want to do is go back, I can't help it and neither can Drew, holding our daughters is the most amazing gift of all.

**Update next Tuesday and there's maybe one or two more chapters in this story guys.**


	25. Take hold of the Threshold of Eternity

**Last chapter everyone I hope it brings you some Clew cheer after tonight's episode.**

**Ch.25 Take hold of the Threshold of Eternity**

**(CLARE)**

"Alright Clare the staples are all out, that area will be sore for a few days probably but it shouldn't be painful. If you feel any pain take an over the counter pain reliever, if that doesn't help or the pain is severe then call or come back in. You'll need a follow up with your gynecologist in a month but everything else looks good, you're healing a little slow but considering what you went through it's no surprise. Despite the slow healing you are healing well and at a steady pace. You're all set," the doctor says after taking the staples out of my C-section scar.

I get dressed again and Drew and I go to the NICU. Chianna and Adira are five weeks old today, last week we got to start kangaroo therapy. We come to the hospital two or three times a day at least to be with Chianna and Adira and we do kangaroo therapy twice a day. I absolutely love having one of the girls lying on my bare chest. We get to the NICU and Penny says she and a nurse will bring the girls into room three. There's several family rooms in the NICU for kangaroo therapy and other things. Drew and I go into room three, I lie on the bed and Drew sits in the chair, he leans it back a little and takes off his shirt putting the blanket in his lap so he can get put it over him and whichever girl he holds. I take off my shirt and bra then cover myself with the blanket just as Penny and another nurse bring in the girls. Penny gives Adira to me and Dana gives Chianna to Drew, he and I smile at each other as we hold our children. Adira is curled on her stomach lying on my breast, her skin against mine and her little hand gripping at me as I gently rub her back.

"Hey pretty girl," I whisper to Adira, "I love you so much and I can't wait to bring you home."

Drew is whispering similar things to Chianna and we smile at each other every few minutes. They came off the ventilators and CPAP last week, they still get oxygen sometimes but they don't have to be on it constantly anymore. They also have a long way to go before they can come home but we made it through the first five weeks and they are doing so well. After we've been holding them a while Penny comes back in.

"They should eat again if you want to try breast feeding Adira again, here Drew," Penny says handing him a bottle and Drew takes it sitting up a little so he can hold Chianna the right way to feed her. Penny presses a button to make the bed move up so I'm sitting instead of lying down in order to feed Adira. "Try breastfeeding her again, if she won't then I'll get you a bottle," Penny tells me.

We've been feeding them for a couple of weeks now, at first they wouldn't breast feed at all, they wouldn't latch on and suckle. That was hard to go through but Penny and the other nurses told me that it was quite normal. They had trouble with the bottle at first too and would only take a few sips before going back on the feeding tube. Chianna now has no trouble latching on to breast feed but Adira is still having problems. I move her in my arms, putting her to my breast; she latches on for a second and then let's go. After struggling with it for a few minutes and only having her stay latched for a minute at most I give up and Penny brings me a bottle. Since I've been producing milk I pump it at they keep it stocked at the hospital for feeding.

After feeding and burping we hold them another hour before they need changing and Penny says they should go back in the incubators and rest. Drew and I help change the girls and kiss them before letting them go and return home. We're having dinner with Jake and Glen in an hour and a half so I shower when we get home and then we rest and watch TV with Adam before we leave for the townhouse that Glen and Jake now live in.

"Hey sis," Jake greets when he opens the door and hugs me before shaking Drew's hand. I hug Jake and then hug Glen.

This isn't just a regular dinner we are celebrating the one month anniversary of the adoption being approved. I have officially and legally been Glen's daughter and Jake's sister for one month. I was thrilled when the adoption came through and felt like I had a parent again. It was a completely different feeling from when he married my mom and became my step-family.

"How are my grandbabies doing?" Glen asks as we sit down to eat.

"They're doing really well; we stayed with them for a couple of hours and fed them," I reply.

"Great, I'm going to see them this weekend, I love holding them it reminds me of when Jake was a baby. You know Jake's favorite thing when he was a baby was to be naked in the grass, he always loved the outdoors," Glen smiles.

"Dad," Jake groans rolling his eyes while Drew and I laugh. "It's about six weeks to the wedding how's the planning going?" Jake questions changing the subject.

"It's all done, we've heard from everyone, the last thing we need to do is find me a dress, Audra, Meghan, Stacey and I are going out this weekend. Speaking of the wedding I was hoping you'd walk me down the aisle Glen, Dad I mean, I was hoping you'd walk me down the aisle Dad," I request and Glen beams.

"I'd be honored Clare," Glen says and I smile.

We spend all the rest of dinner talking about Adira and Chianna and the wedding. Glen has to work tomorrow so we stay long enough to help clean up and then we leave for the hospital to say goodnight to Adira and Chianna. We sit in the NICU this time, I hold Chianna and Drew has Adira, we stay long enough to feed them again. Chianna latches right on and feeds from my breast. I don't know that I could accurately describe the feeling of feeding her but it's wonderful. After feeding them we change them and kiss them, tell them we love them and say goodnight before going home. It's been a long day actually and I'm tired by the time we reach home, Adam is watching a movie in our basement apartment when we get home and we join him on the sofa. I fall asleep in Drew's lap before the movie finishes.

**(DREW)**

My eyes open and I roll over kissing Clare, she doesn't open her eyes but she does kiss me back. I could barely sleep last night because I couldn't wait for morning to come. Today is going to be like Christmas for us because after nearly ten weeks in the NICU unit of the hospital Chianna and Adira would be coming home today! September 12th, five days before their due date, our daughters would be coming home! They were just over 9 weeks old today, they had been born ten weeks early, that day was one of the best and worst of my life. I was given not one but two daughters, beautiful, amazing daughters but they were so tiny and almost didn't make it. Clare didn't even know because she was unconscious having lost so much blood and her body going through so much trauma. They did make it though, all three of them and Clare and I will be married in a couple of weeks with our beautiful girls there with us.

"Chianna and Adira are coming home today," Clare smiles so brightly it lights the whole room.

"Yes they are so let's get dressed and go to the hospital so we can get them," I respond.

Clare practically leaps out of bed and rushes to the closet to get dressed. We get ready as fast as we can and grab a quick breakfast with my parents, Adam and Dallas.

"Adam will go with you because you'll probably need an extra pair of hands. We need to stay here and get the house set up for the party. By the time you two get home I expect most of the guests will be here," Mom says as we're eating. It's a good thing the girls are coming home on a Sunday so everyone could be here to welcome them home.

"Bianca said she'd come over to help set up, she should be here in about half an hour," Dallas comments.

We finish eating and leave with my brother to go to the hospital. Clare and I, with help from my mom, secured the car seats with the detachable infant carriers in the car yesterday. I feel like the drive to the hospital takes forever, much longer than usual, I always feel like the drive there takes a while because I'm anxious to be with my daughters. I guess it's because we really get to bring Adira and Chianna home today that's making the drive feel like it's taking so long. We finally arrive, I park and we get out the carriers from the back taking them in and up to the NICU.

"Hello Clare, Drew, Adam," Dana smiles when we come in, "today's the big day. The girls are excited and ready to go home. Come with me to the classroom and we'll review everything you've been learning for the last nine weeks while Chianna and Adira are prepared to go home."

We go with Dana and she reviews with us home care for the girls and we ask a few questions. We're nearly done when Chianna and Adira are brought to us in their carriers, they are sleeping peacefully and I smile when I see them. One of the nurses sets down a big bag of stuff for the girls from the hospital. We thank Dana and the rest of the team that cared for Chianna and Adira then I pick up Adira's carrier, Clare gets Chianna's and Adam gets the bag and we go out to the car. We lock the carriers into place while Adam gets the bag into the trunk, Clare sits in the back between the girls while Adam take the passenger seat and I drive us all home. The backyard is full of people when we arrive home and even though most of them saw Chianna and Adira in the hospital they still crowd near the car to see them.

Over the yard a big banner has been strung up and it reads: **Welcome Home Chianna Gabriella and Adira Jeanette Torres! **I stop the car and Adam and I get out, I grab Chianna's carrier and hand it to Owen who comes around to the driver's side, then I help Clare out of the car. Most everyone is cooing over the girls as Adam and Owen walk them over to a shady spot in the yard, a few people stay to greet us. We leave the girls in their carriers to sleep, Mom and Dad put out an old futon mattress with a sheet and blanket on it on the stone patio. It's in the shade so we, or anyone that wants to, can sit in the shade with the girls and they have a comfortable shady spot to be for the party. After hugging and greeting our guests Clare and I go sit with Chianna and Adira, Fitz and Meghan are with them but they stand up hugging us and going to mingle in the party so we can be with our daughters.

"I can't believe they're finally home, it almost doesn't seem real I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and they'll still be in the hospital," Clare comments as she watches the girls sleep.

"I promise it's not a dream," I reply pinching her side to prove my point.

"Agh Drew!" She admonishes twisting her mouth at me but I grin and kiss her gently.

"They got so big, they look so healthy now," Emma smiles joining us on the futon with Spinner.

"Yeah they grew a lot, still small but they're thriving, they each gained over two pounds. Chianna now weighs 4.7 pounds and Adira weighs 4.4 pounds which the doctors said was a good weight," Clare smiles.

"They looks so much better and they are so beautiful," Emma says gently caressing Adira's leg with the back of her finger.

"Definitely two of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen," Spinner grins.

They sit and talk with us for a while until Owen, Stacey, Fitz and Meghan come over with food for themselves and plates for me and Clare. Emma and Spinner get up to get food and the six of us start eating. We're chatting about things to do with the girls now that they're home and then at exactly the same second both Chianna and Adira start crying as they wake up.

"They must be hungry, they haven't had anything to eat since the hospital," I comment as Clare takes Chianna from her carrier and I take Adira.

"There's some bottles of breast milk in the fridge and bottle warmers on the counter could one of you heat them please?" Clare requests of our friends.

"Yeah of course, Owen and I will get the bottles," Stacey says volunteering her and Owen.

We thank them as they get up and go inside, Clare and I have set down our plates and we're rocking the girls to soothe them until their bottles are ready. Adira is sucking at my finger and Adira is just crying, Clare turns her cradling Adira against her chest and rubbing Adira's back.

"Can I feed one?" Meghan requests when Owen and Stacey return with the bottles.

"Sure," I reply handing Chianna to her.

"I'm done eating I'll feed Adira so you can eat Clare," Fitz offers setting down his empty plate and holding his arms out for Adira.

"Thanks Fitz," Clare smiles carefully handing him Adira.

After we eat and the girls have eat, been burped and changed they're awake and everyone wants to see them or hold them. I sit on the bench with Clare in my arms, we always have an eye on Chianna and Adira but they're safe and have lots of people here watching them and taking care of them. Everyone stays into the evening, eating some more and chatting, Lucas takes a hand at feeding the girls as do Emma, Spinner and Maya. By eight everyone is gone though since almost everyone has work or school tomorrow but not Clare and I, we're staying home with the girls for a couple weeks, Dallas and Adam will bring us our homework. After that we'll return for half days for a while and we have lots of babysitting help. My parents Adam, Bianca, Dallas and the Baker sibs are cleaning up the yard so Clare and I feed the girls before putting them to bed.

"I'm so happy to have you home," Clare smiles at Chianna as she feeds her.

"Our beautiful girls we finally have you home," I grin then look at Clare and steal a kiss.

After feeding the girls we burp them, change them and get them ready for bed putting them in a swaddling blankets and into their bassinets that are in our bedroom.

"Goodnight Chianna, Daddy's strong little girl I love you so much," I whisper to her bending down to kiss her forehead. Clare says goodnight to Adira and we switch so she can say goodnight to Chianna and I can say goodnight to Adira. I go to her bassinet which is on Clare's side of the bed and kiss her forehead. "I love you little girl, my sweet little surprise," I tell her caressing the top of her head. Clare stands and we meet and the end of the bed, I take her in my arms and grin at her. "So we have our girls home how do you feel Mom?" I ask Clare.

"Wonderful, I'm so happy to have them home," she smiles putting her hands on my chest and running them up to the back of my neck, "I love you Drew."

"I love you My Shining Jewel," I smile and then capture her lips for an ardently loving kiss.

**(CLARE)**

I stand in front of the full length mirror in my tent and look at myself dressed for my wedding and minutes away from being Mrs. Andrew Torres. I have white wedge heels on my feet, and a garter on my right thigh, the garter is red and white which is the color theme for our wedding. My dress goes to my knees, it's pencil skirt style with a tulle overskirt which is red. The corset style top has no sleeves and is white, laced with red ribbon in the back. I of course have my engagement ring on and a pearl necklace and earring set that Audra leant me. Pinned in my hair is a small white hat, it's sort of old fashioned style, has two red roses on it and a white veil. Drew and I are getting married at High Park, it's a small wedding but all the people we care about most are here to see us get married, even Mia and Izzy came in from Paris.

"You look beautiful Clare," Audra smiles handing me my bouquet.

"Chianna and Adira are ready," Stacey says and I look over at her and Meghan who were getting Chianna and Adira dressed for the wedding. Both of them have red dresses with white collars and white sashes, they also have white headbands on their heads with a red rose made from ribbon on it.

"They look great, so pretty thank you both," I smile hugging my friends.

"You're welcome we'll see you in a few minutes when you walk down the aisle," Meghan smiles.

Audra picks up Chianna, Meghan picks up Adira and the three of them leave the tent to go take their seats.

"I can't believe my little sister is a mom and she's getting married," Darcy smiles at me kissing my cheek.

"I can't either but I'm really happy," I tell her smiling wide, I've been smiling wide all day.

"Then let's go get you married little sister," she smiles as the music outside starts.

"Are you ready Clare?" Glen asks peeking his head into the tent.

"Very ready," I reply.

Darcy leaves the tent to start walking down the aisle and Glen comes over to me offering me his arm.

"You look gorgeous Clare," he grins kissing my cheek and I smile.

"Thanks Dad," I reply as we walk out of the tent.

We stop at the end of the aisle and I look down to see Drew under the rose covered gazebo with the minister. He's grinning from ear to ear, his smile so bright it's more illuminate than the sunlight. I grin back at him, sure that my smile is just as big and bright as Glen and I slowly proceed down the aisle after Darcy. Adam is standing at Drew's side as his best man, I struggled with who should be my maid of honor but Darcy has been staying with us and helping with the girls, she's been amazing and we've grown closer than we ever were so I asked her to be my maid of honor last week and she said yes. Darcy takes her place and Glen and I reach the gazebo, he kisses my cheek and takes his place next to Drew's parents who are currently holding Chianna and Adira.

The minister begins talking as I take Drew's hand and stand with him. I hear what the minister is saying but my eyes are lost in Drew's and my mind lost in the life that lies before us. We say I do at the right time and exchange rings, we got very simple rings of white gold. After we say our vows and exchange our rings the minister says Fitz and Meghan will be leading us in a closing prayer and they stand up.

"Drew and Clare may the love of God be above you to overshadow you, beneath you to uphold you, before you to guide you, behind you to protect you, close beside you and within you to make you able for all things, and to reward your faithfulness with the joy and peace which the world cannot give neither can it take away. Through Jesus Christ, our Lord, to whom be glory now and evermore. Amen," Fitz and Meghan say the prayer together and then sit down again.

"Drew and Clare have been married under the eyes of God and with his blessing in front of their closest friend and family. I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Torres, you may now kiss your bride," the minister announces.

Drew grins and I put my arms around his neck but instead of simply kissing me he sweeps me up into his arms and then joins our lips. I smile and kiss him back with immensely burning passion for my husband. Everyone starts clapping and after a minute Drew sets me down and we look at them. Adira and Chianna are crying but Mia and Lucas are holding them. We take lots of pictures in the park before going to the reception. Some of just me and Drew, some with us holding the girls, me with Jake, Glen and Darcy, Drew with his family, all of us together, the wedding party and the entire wedding.

For the reception we rented a banquet hall at High Park Club which we can't walk to but we also rented a shuttle bus which will take us all in a few groups to the hall. Drew and I go in the first group, getting on the bus and Lucas, Mia and Izzy follow us holding Chianna and Adira, I give my bouquet to Izzy to hold so Drew and I can hold our daughters and the three of them sit down. Audra, Omar, Jake, Glen, Adam, Darcy, Owen, Stacey, Meghan, Fitz, Evelyn, Jay, Spin, Emma, Peter, Maya, Tris and Cam all come over on the first bus. When we get to the hall Meghan and Fitz take Adira and Chianna to feed them. Drew and I stand at the door to greet the other guests when they arrive.

When everyone is here Drew and I have our first dance as man and wife, we dance to "Without You" from RENT and I think it's a wonderfully appropriate song for us. When the song ends Drew and I kiss and everyone claps. Then we get food before sitting at our table, we're in the middle of the table, next to Clare's chair is Adira's carrier which is secured onto a pedestal so she can see what's going on and everyone can see her. Chianna has the same next to mine although so far they're being held everyone and haven't been set back in their carriers yet.

Drew and I eat watching everyone that came to celebrate with us, watching Adam and Becky dance, Darcy talk with Peter, Jay feeding Adira and Luke feeding Chianna, our friends dancing and we smile. Chianna and Adira are put in their carries after they fall asleep and Drew and I are done eating. Adam and Darcy are sitting and eating now so Drew and I dance before it's time for cake, we feed each other bites of cake and then sit down again to eat cake. Audra, Omar, Glen, Jake, Darcy and Adam all give speeches, there's lots more celebrating and our daughters are little angels the entire time. Eventually we have to leave so I throw my bouquet which Mia catches then Drew takes my garter off with his teeth and throws it behind him, Adam catches the garter and his cheeks go bright red.

We say goodbye to our guests and I give Darcy a big long hug since she'll be on a plane to India tomorrow. Drew and I ride home in the minivan with Audra, Omar and Adam and of course Chianna and Adira in their car seats. Drew and I sit in the very back with Adira and Chianna is in front of sitting next to Uncle Adam who spends the whole ride cooing at her, he loves being an uncle.

"I know you've had a million pictures taken today but I just want a few more while the girls are awake and we're all still dressed. We can do them in the backyard," Audra says when we get home.

"Mom it's been a long day," Drew complains.

"It's okay I like having a million pictures to help me remember this day," I smile and Drew kisses my cheek.

We take the girls from their carriers and go to the backyard. Adam and Audra take the girls while Omar turns on the backyard lights and gets the camera. Drew and I take two by the big tree on of us holding each other and one of us kissing. Then we take one each with the two of us and Adam, then Audra, then Omar. After which Omar gets the tripod setting the camera on a timer and Drew and I sit with the girls in our laps on the bench while Adam, Audra and Omar stand behind us. The last picture we take is Drew and I sitting side by side on the bench, he's holding me with one arm and Adira with the other, I hold Chianna and the girls are gripping each other's hands. We look at our beautiful twins, Drew grins and ensnares my lips just as Audra takes the picture of our happy family.

**I hope you guys liked the last chapter and enjoyed reading Drew and Care's journey as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**As most of you should remember I published a series of shorts last Christmas, if you haven't read them find "Who Likes Short Shorts" on my author's page. I'll be doing something similar this year over Christmas break with Christmas chapters of stories that didn't have Christmas chapters in them including this story so technically this does get one more chapter you just have to wait until Christmas.**

**Next Tuesday will be the premier of Falling Faster than Anyone Should.**


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Degrassi, Drama, Hurt-Comfort