Fairy Tail 1. Man Up

It's tragic that there's such a shortage of Jet and Droy stories on . Undoubtedly, they must rank as #1 and #2 on the list of Fairy Tail's most expendable characters. Their entire role in the series is basically to make Levy appear desirable. **Never fear! The Evil Stick is here to right that horrible wrong.** Much love to the owner and creator of our two underappreciated heroes, **Hiro Mashima**.

* * *

**Man Up**

Jet and Droy glared across the table as Levy giggled at something Gajeel whispered to her. He seemed to be making fun of a belligerent Natsu fighting with a fully naked Grey while Juvia stood aside with hearts in her eyes. What could he have possibly said to make Levy giggle like that?

The two jealous mages watched as Gajeel casually leaned over her shoulder to see what she was reading. She smiled brightly up at him and showed him the cover of her book. After his curiosity was satisfied, he went back to munching on his heart shaped iron while watching the fight between the ice maker and the fire dragon.

A thought went through their minds at the same time, 'Maybe Levy will smile like that at me if I asked what she was reading…'

Droy took a huge bite of his drumstick, "Whatcha reading, Levy?"

Levy looked up from her book confused, "Oh, it's one of the books that Lucy let me borrow a few weeks ago. Um, or 7 years ago, before the S-class exams." She went back to reading.

Jet leaned over the table to get a peak of the book like Gajeel did moments ago, but Levy ignored him. "What's the book about?" He asked apprehensively. 'Gajeel didn't have to ask' he thought.

She looked up at him with knitted eyebrows, "Since when do you two care about what I read? Neither of you guys have ever asked before…"

Droy picked up another drumstick, "We were just wondering, Levy."

Gajeel snorted at the question, but Levy smiled and answered anyway, "It's about celestial magic."

Jet gave a confident smirk, "When did you become interested in celestial magic?"

Gajeel snorted again before tossing a chuck of iron into his mouth. He was well aware that Levy reads up on every type of magic that her guild mates practice. Celestial magic books are common on Levy's bookshelf as well as every other subject.

Levy put her bookmark into place and snapped the book shut, "Well, I first became interested when I found out that Lucy was a celestial mage and I've been reading every book on the subject that I can get my hands on ever since." She was clearly annoyed by their sudden interest in what she read. How could her teammates not know this?

"WATCH OUT! A MAN'S TABLE IS FLYING YOUR WAY!" Elfman yelled and pointed behind Levy.

Levy didn't have time to scream as she turned her head and saw a table soaring through the air right at her. The table was half frozen and half on fire.

Gajeel phased between the small script mage and the flying table just in time to skillfully perform a roundhouse iron kick. Embers, ice, and splinters filled the air around Levy as the offending object was deflected safely towards the wall. Unfortunately, the table hit Jet and pinned him against the wall.

"Gajeel! You hit Jet!" Droy yelled from under the table, safely cradling his plate of food close to his large body.

Gajeel grumbled as he went to pull Jet from the wreckage.

Levy sat there with shock written all over her face. She was talking to Jet and Droy across the table just seconds before another table was flung across the room towards her. Now, Droy was struggling to squeeze his large body out from under the table and Jet was being pulled from the table's remnants 20 feet away.

The small script mage sighed as Gajeel ungracefully dropped Jet on the floor next to her. She can't stay mad at her teammates, she understood that the last 7 years had been hard on them. She started fanning the smoke from Jet's clothing away from her, "Thank you, Gajeel. I'm going to go read at the library. I'll see you guys later."

"Levyyyyy!" Her two teammates wailed as she stood up and walked away.

Gajeel growled as he snatched a giant drumstick from Droy's plate.

"Hey! I was going to eat that!" Droy stopped protesting when Gajeel violently tore off a huge bite of the drumstick with a death glare fixed on him.

"Did you two clowns just see the disappointment on the Shrimp's face?" He flashed his teeth in an amused grin and then tore another bite from Droy's drumstick.

"A man doesn't run away or hide from a table!" Elfman came up from behind and towered over them. "That wasn't very manly!"

Jet and Droy lowered their heads in shame. They were both thankful for Gajeel's intervention, but would never admit it out loud.

Pantherlily came floating from the bar with a plate of kiwis held in his hands. "Good reflexes, Gajeel. Natsu and Grey are being punished by Erza for putting Levy in danger and you scored some points with the rest of guild for protecting her," Lily nodded his head in approval before he took a bite out of a kiwi.

"I don't give a shit about any of that," Gajeel dropped a clean bone on Droy's plate before snatching up the last drumstick. "You worthless bone heads would have let Shrimp become a bloody mess all over my favorite table." Gajeel stood up and went to the job request board with Droy's drumstick.

"That's a man!" Elfman commented as Gajeel walked away. He leaned in over Jet and Droy and yelled down at them, "YOU GUYS NEED TO MAN UP!"

Jet sadly brushed the ash and ice from his charred clothing and hair while Elfman continued to scream in their ears on how to man up. The whole guild had seen how he tried to run away and left Levy in the path of destruction.

"THEN GAJEEL TOOK PITY ON YOUR UNMANLINESS AND PULLED YOU OUT OF THE FLAMES SINCE YOU COULDN'T GET OUT YOURSELF! YOU KNOW YOU'RE PATHETIC IF GAJEEL FEELS SORRY FOR YOU!"

Droy held back the tears as he sadly eyed his now empty plate. His reaction was to dive under the table with his plate of food when Levy was in danger. The whole guild witnessed it just as they were witnessing Elfman continue his brutal verbal assault on them.

"YOU'RE TOO FAT TO RUN SO YOU HID INSTEAD! AND THEN YOU LET GAJEEL RAPE YOUR PLATE WHILE YOU SULKED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL! SO UNMANLY!"

"Yup," Pantherlily casually snacked on his kiwi as he nodded in agreement with every manly sentence that came out of Elfman's loud mouth.

Jet and Droy slumped further in their seats. Even Gajeel's cat was more rugged and masculine than them.

"Big Brother, Elfman. Why don't you lay off? You know Levy wouldn't be happy about you picking on them again," Lisanna chimed with her prize winning smile and large, innocent eyes.

Elfman backed off, "A real man could never say no to his little sister." He tightened his robe and stomped off to find something more manly to do.

Lisanna smiled sweetly and patted Lily's head as Elfman made his way to the training room. When he was out of sight, her sweet smile disappeared, "Seriously guys. The Jet and Droy of Edolas would have never let that happen to Levy."

"Nope," Lily added before he took another bite of his kiwi.

They watched as Lisanna walked away. They were saved by a girl and then she reminded them that they were even more cowardly than the other versions of themselves in Edolas.

"So lame…" Cana snickered before she chugged down a barrel in 10 seconds.

"Losers, Losers, Losers, Losers, Losers," chanted the 5 wooden dolls as they floated above the Thunder God Tribe, causing Freed to choke on the tea he was drinking. Evergreen hit the Bickslow a few times on the head with her fan for the rude remarks coming from his possessed dolls.

"Quiet, Babies!" Bickslow leaned back in his chair with his tongue-ful grin.

From a few tables away they could hear Macao and Wakaba laughing at their expense.

Pantherlily finished his last kiwi and stood up on the table to address the forlorn friends. "You two demonstrated a serious lack of competence and put your fellow soldiers at risk. If it were my call, I would have immediately reassigned you to equipment duty indefinitely. You two should train more seriously before Team Shadow Gear goes out on another request. If Levy ends up hurt because of your lack of training then I will personally come kick both of your asses."

The normally quiet exceed unsheathed his sword and raised an eyebrow at the pair.

Jet and Droy's eyes widened. Gajeel's cat just reprimanded them and then threatened them in his 'army commander' voice. They shivered and huddled closer together under the exceed's cold stare.

"Lily!" Gajeel approached the table waving a job request form. "I found a job that pays good and we get to help a tribe together. Are you up for camping in the Fiore canyons?" The iron dragon dropped another clean bone onto Droy's now empty plate.

Pantherlily nodded nobly, "I've been waiting for a chance to try out my new armor." He bared his sharp fangs in a mischievous smile and slipped his sword back into it's sheath.

Jet and Droy breathed a sigh of relief as Gajeel and Pantherlily left the guild to head to the train station.

"Gajeel's cat is right…" Jet said sadly, "How are we going to protect Levy if we run or hide from anything that comes our way?"

Droy stared down at the clean bones on his plate, "We have to prove ourselves to Levy and get stronger."

"We have to be strong in order for Levy to consider dating us again!" Jet smiled triumphantly. "Strong, like… like…"

"Like… Gajeel?" Droy looked at Jet hopefully.

Jet looked at his counterpart, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

A smile spread on Droy's chunky face, "Let's go!"

Warren, Fairy Tail's telepath, spit his beer all over Max's face.

"What the hell was that for?!" Max used a napkin to clean his face off.

"Th-they plan on following Gajeel and Lily on their mission…" Warren stuttered.

"Well, it's their funeral…" Max watched as Jet and Droy hurried out of the guild in high spirits.

Wacaba took a sip of his beer, "Those two are hopeless…"

"Yeah. Kinda reminds me of a certain someone in love with Mira…" Macao smirked at his partner.

"You're in love with her, too!" Wacaba slammed his beer on the table.

Cana snickered again, "You two are just the older versions of Jet and Droy."

Another huge brawl ensued at the Fairy Tail guild as Jet and Droy joyfully skipped their way through the streets of Magnolia singing their favorite song about how wonderful Levy is.

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A huge thanks to my proof reader, **XXinsidemymindXX**! You can expect the next chapter out in a few weeks. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chili Beans

The Evil Stick is extremely embarrassed about how long this chapter took to get out. Much apologies. And much thanks to xXinsidemymindXx for proofreading.

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**Chili Beans**

Gajeel hiked through the canyons of Fiore with his trusted partner sitting on his shoulder.

"You haven't said much of anything today, Gajeel. Are you worried about Levy going on a mission with Shadow Gear?"

"I don't care about those fools. If she wants to go on a mission with them then that is her business. And if they put her in danger then it will be partly her fault."

"If you feel that way then we could train them so they get used to being on a three person team again. They got used to running away and protecting themselves during the 7 years that we were on Tenrou Island." Lily sighed, " I think I was too hard on them at the guild earlier. All they need is to be retrained as a three person team and that will help keep Levy safe."

"If you ask me, I think we were too soft. They need to be told to train otherwise they won't figure it out for themselves. I should have kicked their asses so they would realize how weak they became."

"We could do it, you know? We can train them."

Gajeel stopped hiking and looked at his older companion to see that the black exceed was serious. "You can train them. I won't have anything to do with it."

The two partners continued through the canyons consumed by their thoughts over Team Shadow Gear.

**X-X-X**

*Huff Huff * *Wheeze* Jet and Droy hiked through the canyons of Fiore far enough away so Gajeel and Pantherlily can't hear, see, or smell them.

They peeked over a rock so they could see deeper into the gorge. Gajeel and Pantherlily were meeting with some natives that dwelled deep in the canyon.

Jet lifted his binoculars and observed the encounter. "Good, they have to get information on their job so they will be there talking for a while."

"Can we take a break? I'm hungry." Droy wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"You're always hungry." Jet stopped so Droy could catch up.

"I have a lot of muscle to nourish!"

"Whatever. Let's eat then."

Droy threw down a few seeds. The seeds quickly grew into a watermelon plant, carrots, potatoes, and a corn stalk.

In a flash, Jet disappeared into the dry wilderness only to reappear 10 seconds later with an armful of fire wood. Then he used his speed to rub a few sticks together to start a fire.

Droy started harvesting the corn and potatoes while Jet boiled some water. They dumped the potatoes and corn in the water and snacked on the watermelon while the food cooked.

"What will we do if Gajeel notices that we followed him?" Droy asked while dumping the potatoes and corn in the boiling water.

"He won't notice me, but if you keep farting he'll smell you," Jet grumbled. "And did you have to wear those checkered tights again? The dry brush has already torn holes in them and now I can see patches of your butt. Can you at least put on some underwear?"

"Nobody makes underwear in my size! You're just jealous that you're not as buff as I am." Droy huffed and took a big bite of watermelon.

Jet rolled his eyes, "You know, if you don't lose weight Levy will never date you."

"If you don't gain weight, Levy will never date you! You look like a 40 year old crack head!"

Jet sighed as he leaned back to munch on a carrot. "I know Levy doesn't like skinny guys, but I've tried to gain weight. It's just that my magic doesn't let me gain weight and if I do gain weight then it will make my magic less efficient."

The 2 men sighed together. Levy just wasn't attracted to them and they were aware of it. They continued their meal in silence while keeping tabs on their comrades from afar.

**X-X-X**

"Is it me, or do these canyons smell like Droy's chili bean farts?" Lily covered his nose to try to block the smell.

Gajeel snickered, "Well, the job description says that the people are experiencing a sudden drought after their river mysteriously stopped flowing. Their crops have died so they are starving and have begun to cannibalize each other. That smell might be rotting corpses."

Lily smirked, "Well, good thing it's rotting corpses and not Droy's farts because then we would have a problem."

The odd companions laughed together until they came upon a tattered and dried out village. Pantherlily hopped down off of Gajeel's shoulder's to greet the canyon dwellers.

"We're from Fairy Tail. Just tell me when your water stopped flowing and point me to the direction that the water would normally come from." Gajeel got right down to business, but he became annoyed when he realized that they didn't hear a word that he said.

The canyon dwellers looked emaciated and their eyes were fixated on Pantherlily. If they weren't so dehydrated then they probably would have been drooling. They were staring at him as if he was their only meal in weeks and they had no decency to keep their thoughts to themselves:

"What animal is this?" One villager questioned.

"Is it edible?" A few others murmured.

"Uh…" Pantherlily backed up from the crowd that was gathering around him. He small fists curled when he backed right into a spear that was pointed into his back.

"Gihi! They want to eat you, Lily!" Gajeel laughed and crossed his arms over his chest ready to see what his partner would do.

The people reached out to the exceed with their bony, shaky fingers and felt his arms and legs as if to gauge the meat on his bones.

One person pulled on his tail, "This tail would make good stew."

"THAT'S IT!" Pantherlily wasted no more time so he morphed into his battle-sized body. "NO ONE IS GOING TO EAT ME TODAY!"

The villagers backed away from the scary exceed out of shock of his size, but they continued to eye his expanded muscles.

Lily growled in frustration. Usually people would immediately scatter if they saw him grow larger than most humans, but these villagers were starving. So Pantherlily reached behind him to pull out his magic sword. When the sword grew to 10 times its master's size, the villagers immediately dispersed.

"Gihihihi!" Gajeel laughed loudly as the canyon dwellers scrambled back into their huts and some frantically jumped into dry, thorny brush. A few mothers even left behind their crying children.

"JUST POINT US TO THE DIRECTION OF WHERE YOUR WATER FLOWS FROM!" Pantherlily's long, white teeth were fully bared and his lips were curled up in anger.

A few shaky hands emerged from the huts to point them toward the northern gorge.

"Let's go, Gajeel!" Lily powered down his weapon and stomped in the direction that the villagers indicated.

Gajeel wiped the tears of humor from his eyes and followed his annoyed partner into the northern canyon.

**X-X-X**

"Why did Lily grow into his battle body? What kind of job are they on?" Droy mused as he ravaged his corn from the cob.

Jet held up the binoculars and watched as Gajeel along with a battle-sized Pantherlily made their way to the northern gorge. "I guess they are done talking with the locals. If we get lucky, they will need our help and then we will come to their rescue and Levy will like us again!" Jet smiled in triumph.

Droy finished his watermelon and rubbed his stomach. "Oh, Mavis, my stomach isn't sitting well."

Jet stared at Droy unamused, "I told you not to eat that huge pot of chili beans before we left."

"But Gajeel stole all of my chicken!"

"He stole 2 legs from your batch of 10. You weren't going to die."

"But I was still hungry!"

"If you keep eating like that then you are going to have to quit Fairy Tail and join the Giggle Butt Gang!"

"Shut up, Crackhead!"

The two love rivals started wrestling before Jet decided to end the fight with a quick elbow to Droy's bloated belly.

*PHTTTTTT* Droy cut a huge chili bean fart.

*PHTTT*

*PhttTT*

*PhttT*

*phttt*

The offensive fart echoed loudly throughout the canyons.

*FSSH* The fire grew from the toxic digested gas cloud.

"Shit!" Jet snatched up his binoculars to see if Gajeel or Pantherlily had noticed. "Good, they have already moved on through the canyon."

"We have to catch up with them." Droy put the rest of the carrots in his back pocket.

**X-X-X**

Gajeel and Pantherlily followed the dried out ditch.

"This ditch looks like it used to be a steam or creek. It's completely dry." Lily noted.

Gajeel nodded in agreement. "If we follow it then we should eventually find out what is blocking or diverting the water. Maybe we can fight a huge monster!" He grinned in anticipation.

*PHTTTTTT*

The two black companions froze in their tracks, "That sounded like…"

*PHTTT*

*PhttTT*

*PhttT*

*phttt*

Lily growled, "That was definitely one of Droy's farts echoing in the canyon."

Gajeel face palmed, "That fool! What's he doing here?!"

*Shhh* A light breeze blew in their direction.

Lily and Gajeel gagged from the odor carried by the wind.

After they caught their breath Lily spoke. "We have to go back for him."

"I'M NOT GOING ANY WHERE NEAR HIM WHEN HE SMELLS LIKE THAT!"

Pantherlily looked back toward the direction of the village, not moving a muscle.

"Let's go, Lily! We have a job to do!" Gajeel stomped down the dried creek with haste.

"Gajeel, if Droy is close by then Jet is too. Maybe even Levy." The iron dragon halted in his tracks and Lily continued with his concerns, "They don't know that the villagers are cannibals."

Gajeel gave a low growl and turned back around to hurry towards the village with Pantherlily at his side.

**X-X-X**

Jet and Droy hurried through the canyon to catch up with Gajeel and Pantherlily.

Jet peeked over another rock. "As long as you don't fart then the villagers won't know we're here."

"If you don't elbow me in the stomach then I won't fart! You should have already used your speed to scout for a way around the village."

Jet rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'm going to find a way through." He left a cloud of dust as he sped through the area.

*SNAP* Jet ran right into an animal trap.

"Aurrgh! Help me, Droy!" The speed mage yelled as he tried to free his leg from the rope.

"I'm coming!" Droy rushed over to his best friend and cut through the rope.

*WHOOSH* A large netting came down over the both of them.

"We caught them!" A villager peeked his head out from the bushes

A few others peered from behind the boulders above the Fairy Tail mages. "They must have been the ones responsible for the odor."

"This one looks tasty…" A village warrior used his spear to poke Droy's thigh with anticipation.

"HEY!" Droy protested the poke.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Jet wriggled in vain under the netting.

Another warrior poked Jet's butt with his spear, "This one isn't very appetizing, but his bones would make a good snack for the dogs."

Jet and Droy clung to each other in fear.

The biggest warrior gave a wide smile, "TIE THEM UP! WE WILL HAVE THEM FOR DINNER!"

The hunting party cheered and tied the two Fairies up so they could be strung up and cooked.

**X-X-X**

Panthlily and Gajeel finally reached the village to hear cheering and some familiar screams.

"SAVE US, GAJEEL!" Jet and Droy wailed as they hung upside down surrounded by the village warriors as they attempted to start a fire..

"Why did you bring them with us!?" Pantherlily growled at his teammate.

"They just followed me!" Gajeel growled back at the exceed.

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If you follow the manga then you are probably aware of why The Evil Stick ended this chapter here. The story will continue and will highlight the practicality of Jet and Droy's magic. Please review and, as always, flames are encouraged.


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Fairy Tail, Adventure, Humor