1. The Mother Who Couldn

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Air-bender, the very talented team of Mike and Brain own the show and characters. Umaio, her parents, Fiyo, Fana, Hitsi and Elnan are my characters please respect that. If you wish to use them please talk to me about it and give me credit for them. The rating maybe wrong but I did try to get it right.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) aka. crescentmoon (at mediaminer). And now Opal-Dreams on DeviantArt.

**The Mother Who Couldn't Be**

Hello, I am Umaio and I have a story to tell…

Once when I was very young things were very different. I was fourteen at the time… I met a man, he was free like the air… he captivated me…

I wish I had made different choices but I was young, too young, but I thought that I was old enough. And he didn't tell me any different. He never even tried to turn me away. He was young too just older than myself. He was sixteen. His name was Fiyo. He was the air… he was freedom… he was an air-bender.

I never could air-bend even though both my parents could. My parents were very upset when they found out about Fiyo and me. We lived close to the Western Air-Temple and Fiyo, he live with a group more nomadic than ourselves. They were visiting the temple when I met Fiyo. He had been flying and hit a bird on mistake. He landed with the bird in his arms right by the stream where I was sitting.

He was beautiful and wild like the bird in his arms. The bird was terrified. And it wouldn't hold still to be treated. I offered the teen my help. Together we got the bird's wing wrapped and let it hop away when we got distracted in each other's eyes. His eyes were grey and he had hair nearly covering his air-bender tattoo. His hair was brown like a platypus-bear's fur. His grey eyes held my own green-grey eyes for only a moment but it felt so much longer. It was like his eyes bored into my soul. At that second I didn't understand that because of this boy my life would forever be different.

I understand now that if we had just been on separate paths more than we were none of the following things would happen. But I didn't choose to be on a separate path I wanted to be near him. He treated me special, like I wasn't just a girl, like I was a precious friend. No other boy who visited here had ever done that, certainly no air-bender treated me as highly as he did.

We would walk together and talk. We'd laugh. He took me on his glider once. It was exhilarating. It was amazing to be up so high. To feel the wind in a way you never could on land. To be free of gravity. If only for a moment.

There was a festival while his group was sticking around. It was there that we realized what a connection we had formed. He danced with me all that evening. It was the closest thing to flying I could do without an air-bender's help. And with an air-bender as my dance partner there might as well have been no ground at all.

It was that night when I should have been abed that I met him, that we went past the bonds of friendship too fast… it was that night that I thought would bond us forever…

Soon I found out I was pregnant and two days after I did my parents found out. I still hadn't told Fiyo and his group was leaving at the end of the week. What happened was pure disaster.

My parents were furious enough that I was un-wed and pregnant but adding to that that the man was part of an ultimate nomadic group of air-bender made their anger worse. But they would make the man do right by me. I would be an honest woman even if it killed me.

The wedding day was set for two days away. Fiyo was unhappy with the marriage and I was being shunned by the people all around me. Fiyo blamed me for my pregnancy and claimed the baby couldn't be his. That he wasn't old enough to be a father. While that was true that he wasn't old enough to be a proper father, the way he meant it was untrue; he was the father of my baby.

The night before my wedding I was being held in my room against my will. I wanted to talk to Fiyo one more time before we were wed; try to make him not hate me… but my parents wouldn't allow it.

The next day rose, Fiyo was gone.

I was left alone with the shame of being both an un-wed mother and being jilted. My parents kicked me out and I left the area. I hoped maybe I could find Fiyo or at least someone who would take me in when the time came.

I traveled east towards the Eastern Air-Temple. I walked most of the way; I hitched rides when I could. Hitching rides became easier the larger I got. I found that claiming I was going to visit my husband's mother for the birth and had a long way to travel was better than telling the truth. No one really wants to help someone who did something so shameful. And so I claimed that I was married and my husband was away on business thus making my trip to my mother-in-law's imperative. The people I met were much kinder to a married although young mother than an unmarried one.

I made it to the temple just half a week before my baby was born. The nuns there helped me birth my baby. It was a little boy. He was born with thick brown hair and very dark eyes. The nuns explained to me that a baby's eyes will change in the first few months, the final color would be chosen usually within six months. He was gorgeous and perfect. He was sweet and he was mine.

The nuns knew I was a single woman but they didn't care. "Everyone has a past…" they'd say. I found that the Mother Superior had been wed twice each man treated her worst than the last. Finally to escape her abusive husband she fled to the monastery for safety and hadn't left. Another girl maybe four years older than me had been a thief. She was caught and was brought to the closest temple so a wise air-nomad could judge her and tell the man what to do. It was there she found her way to being a nun.

I loved my baby very much. I wanted to keep him forever even with the screaming that woke me up at night and the constant diaper changes. He was mine and I loved him dearly.

The nuns talked to me about giving my baby up to be raised elsewhere by someone else. I refused outright. They asked me to just listen to the benefits and disadvantages first. They had been so kind to me that I agreed to listen with the intent to keep my baby anyway no matter what they said.

They talked of how these people he would be going to would be kind to him; they would nurture him and love him as I did. But they would let him make mistakes so he could learn from them. That these people had much experience raising little boys to be great men. They also said that I would rarely if ever see my baby again that he would not know a mother's love. That he would be one of many boys. But that he would have a mentor, he would have the father that he wouldn't have with me.

They continued to say that if I kept the baby past the age of two I would have to leave as boys weren't allowed to live in the monastery past the age of two. That I would have to earn my own way and support a growing child. That with him I would still be away from him a lot because I would have to work all the time. That things would only get harder for me and my baby. I knew some of how the world worked. I realized that I and my baby would likely starve. That we probably would not have a home. But I was selfish. I didn't want to be separated even if it meant harm to the person I loved most. Even if it meant my baby would suffer.

It was nearing the time my baby would turn two and I was getting ready to take my baby and leave. No one would separate us I would make sure of that. He was all I had. He was more important to me than any of the friends I had at the temple more important than his father had been or my parents. Or my wellbeing, or his. Now I know that the only thing that had been more important to me was myself. I didn't want to deal with the pain that would accompany separating. I was being a selfish little sixteen year old, which would have been just fine if another life didn't depend on mine. I was so terribly attached to my son. Asking me to part with him was like asking me to part with my heart.

A month before I would have to leave three monks from the Southern Air-Temple showed up. The monks were there for two other babies, they were twin boys whose mother had died in child birth. I watched the way the youngest monk, he could have been my dad, treated the babies and the monk-in-training they had brought with them. The monk-in-training was twelve. The man was so kind to them and so good with the kids. He was even kind with the little girls that ran around this temple. Would I be able to give my baby who was showing signs of being an air-bender that? Would I be able to teach him how to bend air? Would I be too tired to care properly for my baby? It was then that I realized what I was fighting so hard to prevent was just what my baby deserved, the best I could give him. I wouldn't be able to give him a steady home; I likely would be unable to provide him consistent meals. I wouldn't be able to provide him with a male role model. But they could. The only thing they couldn't give him was me; they couldn't give him a mother and a father…

I thought a lot about that, I thought about it all. The only thing I wish they could provide for my boy was the one of the things I couldn't provide either, a whole family, a mother, father and children. I cried when I made my decision. Gathering the giving nature I didn't have I talked to the man, Gyatso. I gave him my baby and asked him to raise him and give him all the love I would be too far away to give. He agreed, he would do as I wished.

I cried that night. I cried again watching them leave. I kissed my baby for the last time. And I gave a note to Gyatso to give to my baby when he was older. I wanted him to know I loved him more then I could possibly love myself.

I spent the following month crying. Sometimes I begged the nuns to restrain me so I wouldn't go after my baby and take him away from what would be a better life. I was in agony without my baby. But I had to let him go, I had too! I wanted better for him then what I could give him! I had to do it for him! Oh I'm getting this scroll all tearstained. Please forgive my tears.

After the first month I stopped needing to be restrained from going after my son but my love for him still filled my bosom. Every second of every day I thought of my son. I wondered what he was doing, how big he was getting, what he was or would soon be learning. I couldn't get him off my mind. At night I prayed for him. He was still my son even if I would likely never see him again. And that very thought cut deeper than any knife could, stung more then any pain. But I knew he would be provided for and well looked after.

In penitence for the sin that conceived my baby I became a nun. I didn't regret having my baby, he was a blessing and I just knew that one day the world would think of him as such. I only regretted that he was conceived and born out of wedlock. I would give anything to do that over to give my baby the home and family all babies deserve. I would work for the wellbeing of those I came in contact with and hope that in return the monks treated my baby well.

After a year I got a letter from the Southern Air-Temple, the temple where my boy was staying. The letter proclaimed that my son was the next avatar. That in his hands the balance of the world rested. In my little three year old's hands. I couldn't believe it. My son was the avatar. I couldn't stop the tears. At that point I became even more grateful that my boy was with the monks who could help and teach him all the things he would need to know before he would have to travel the world to find teachers in the other elements. I hadn't felt so humbled since the day his perfect little form was put in my hands. My baby was the avatar…

That night I cried and cried and prayed harder than I had in a long time. 'Please let my baby be safe! Please help him on his journey. He isn't just my greatest treasure anymore he is the world's greatest treasure. Please, please spirits of heaven and earth, water and fire, protect and guide my baby, my boy.'

That was the last I heard of him for three years. The next I heard of him was when a group of young six year old boys from his temple came to visit with some of the monks to pick out a baby Flying-Bison. When I heard they were coming I went and begged Mother Superior to let me take her place. I begged her to let me be the one to introduce the boys to the Bison.

She allowed me to. I was so thankful, but I had to dress up like her.

I watched the children wondering with one was mine, until he came up, his grey eyes were just like my baby's, and like Fiyo's. I watched him intently. He was so big! So beautiful! I had to fight the tears. My baby was right in front of me. I was jealous of a Flying-Bison! That Bison got to do what I wanted to, he got to kiss and hold my baby. Though it hurt I refused to turn away from the painful scene. I wouldn't miss any of the precious moments that were so few.

Later that day while the children were getting ready for their supper Gyatso found me. He said to me, "I've never known Sister Iio to be so generous when it comes to Sky-Bison companion day. It's her favorite part of being the Mother Superior. You must really touch her heart."

I just smiled and Gyatso told me some of the things Aang, as he had been named, had been doing in the past four years. He told me some of the techniques that he excelled at and how he was learning how to use a glider in two months when the bison would be big enough to catch him if he fell. Gyatso was certain that Aang would master that in a heartbeat. I could tell that my Aang was as close to Gyatso's heart as if he was his own son. I knew I made the right choice this time with the man that would be his 'father'.

I refused to cry the short week Aang and his young friends were at the Eastern Air-Temple. This was a happy time. Even if I never had any more contact with him while he was there I got to see him and that was enough. I could hurt when he was gone, but while he's here I will be glad.

That was the last time I saw my son, my Aang.

But that wasn't the last time I thought of him. There were times that the anguish of not having him was more painful then I could bear. There were a lot of times I wished to hold him near. But I knew I had done what was best for him and that Gyatso would take care of him. I still thought of him whenever my mind was not occupied, and prayed for him unceasingly. But I was learning to be content with knowing he was alive and okay.

No one can imagine the pain of what came next. No one has the capacity to hold the pain that was brought out by a simple and short letter. My son was gone. He had run away because the monks were going to go against my wishes and send him to another teacher! He left just before a massive storm hit and they couldn't find him. Gyatso had sent the letter, he was devastated. He said he never had the chance to tell Aang of me, but he thought that perhaps he had found out anyway and maybe he came here to find me.

I wrote back that he hadn't shown up. That I'd stay here for a week or two in case he did then I would be out there looking for him unless I got I note saying he was back. I sent the note knowing full well that he wasn't coming here. I could feel it he was lost to the world. He was not dead just gone. Just completely and totally unreachable.

The pain that retched in my heart, the heart of a mother who would never see her child again is such a hard burden to bear. Unless you have suffered that pain you know nothing of what I felt. Unless you have felt that agony you have only scratched the surface of what pain can be.

I hope the tears smudging this page don't block my words from coming through.

After a week was up I left. I went straight to the Southern Air-Temple. I didn't stay there very long. I moved on the Flying-Bison I borrowed from the Eastern Air-Temple towards the South-Pole. My heart tugged me in that direction. It knew where Aang was even if I didn't.

There was a tribe of water-benders in the frozen lands of the South-Pole. It is there that I found Gyatso. He was trying to enlist the water-benders to help find Aang. He didn't tell them that Aang was the avatar; just the fact that he was a young boy was heart wrenching enough for some of the water-benders to volunteer. But even with all us looking we couldn't find him.

The ship I was on was captained by a hard man with a good heart. He was constantly trying to make sure the worried mother on deck was okay. I kept telling him the direction my heart was telling me my son was. But after going over and over that spot he said there was no way that the boy was there unless the fish were nibbling at his flesh.

After searching for three days Gyatso knew we wouldn't find him. He would remain unfound until he was ready to be found. Gyatso took me back to the Southern Air-Temple where I had to be nursed back to health. I was out on the deck at all hours and had gotten very sick in those three days.

It was nearly mid-summer when I was well again. I immediately took off to look elsewhere for my boy.

Just a month after I left I heard that the Fire Nation had attached the Air-Temples, every single one of them was left with no survivors. And I prayed then that my son didn't come back in this time of war and sudden fear. The Fire Nation had left us with nothing. And I didn't want my sweet son to see this. I didn't want him to have to deal with this war. I began praying the Aang would never be found, that the war would never be his burden to end.

Time is getting short for me. I know it. There were records in the Temples of all the Air-Nomad people. And they have been after the Sister that wasn't in the Eastern Air-Temple. I know they think my son is with me, but he is not. I am here in this cave alone. There is nothing in here but me and this paper.

Soon I will go back to the Eastern Air-Temple and I will hide this note in the Sky-Bison barracks. I put it there in the hopes that it will not get burned. So that one day people will read this and remember the love of mothers' is more then anything they will experience on earth.

Now I add one final wish……

I hope someday this scroll falls into your hands my sweet little Aang. I hope it will so you will know the love of the mother who couldn't be.

Aang please forgive me for not giving you a life in a home with two parents and more love then you could possibly hold in a lifetime. But that wasn't in my power to give you. I am so sorry.

I love you Aang and my last breath will be the proof of it,

Your Mother,

Umaio

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Hi everyone! What a sad letter huh? I wrote this for Mother's Day. And I dedicate it to all the 'mothers who couldn't be'. I hope that the message of the love of mothers, even those mothers who gave up their children is felt in this story. I wanted to write this story because I know that 'the mothers who couldn't be' often get a bad reputation. Many people don't seem to understand that most of these mothers don't give their children up because it's the 'easy thing to do'. Giving up a baby would have to be one of the hardest things in the world. I have heard shows where the mother of one of these children talked and said something like "There is not a day goes by that I don't think of my baby, that I don't wonder and pray for my baby." I must say that these women are placing the love of their lives in usually a stranger's hands to be raised and cared for. That has to take courage and more love for their baby then you might think.

Now just so someone is not confused I have never had a child. So I don't know the trials of motherhood or giving up a baby. As far as I know I was not adopted. But I do have a cousin who was adopted. And my sister is acting as a single mother with the help of my parents and myself. So I don't know everything where this is coming from but I have some idea.

I just want to make this clear, I do not think that people should become parents when they are teenagers or younger. But sometimes young people make this huge mistake. Babies are wonderful but they deserve to go to a home with two parents who are old enough not to be overly selfish parents.

I hope to have a read along version of the story on youtube soon. I need to finish it and then see if youtube will allow me to upload it. So look forward to that.

Now I want to say 'Thank you' to all those mothers out there, and I want to give an extra big 'THANK YOU' to all the single mothers and 'the mothers who couldn't be'. You are all a God sent gift of the heavens.

Thank you my readers and anyone with the kindness to review. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 1 From Fiyo to Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Air-bender, the very talented team of Mike and Brain own the show and characters. Umaio, her parents, Fiyo, Fana, Hitsi and Elnan are my characters please respect that. If you wish to use them please talk to me about it and give me credit for them. The rating maybe wrong but I did try to get it right.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) aka. crescentmoon (at mediaminer). And now Opal-Dreams on DeviantArt.

**The Mother Who Couldn't Be**

**Chapter One**

We start with fourteen year old Umaio. She is a beautiful young girl who lived with air-benders. She carried a head of thick brown hair waving down her back; she had a high forehead and no bangs. At the end of her hair there was a ribbon that kept most of it from falling in her face. Umaio was unsuccessful at keeping all her hair from falling out no matter where she tied it. Most of the hair stayed in the tie but some did fall out. She was largely quiet and shy. Her eyes were a grey-green that many confused with the green that populated the Earth Kingdom.

Umaio lived near the Western Air-Temple she loved being there. There was a stream nearby that she spent a lot of her time by. She got to spend so much of her time there because she wasn't an air-bender. She always wished she was, she longed to fly with her family and friends but that gift was not hers.

Her parents were more disappointed with her inability then she was. They were both air-benders, they had both came from long lines of air-benders. After she turned four with no air-bending coming and the evidence there they settled near the Western Temple. Sometimes it seemed they resented that she couldn't fly on a glider like the rest of her family. They longed for more travel, they wanted no home but for her sake they only traveled during the spring. During this time of moving they visited all the air-temples to show their daughter how many others were like her, air-nomads with no air-bending.

Don't be confused they loved each other. But they were a family of three. Umaio wished she had siblings maybe if she had siblings and they had bending her parents wouldn't feel so bad about her not.

Her mother had the same hair style but her hair behaved and always stayed in its bonds. Her mother had straight hair. Her father was bald and had the air-benders tattoos as did her mother. But she had no tattoos it was a way of distinguishing the air-benders from the normal people.

And so now you know much about Umaio at age fourteen. So we will introduce the beginning of the story.

Umaio and her parents had just gotten home from their vacation and they were settling down into their normal life. It was then in one of her many walks by the water that Umaio was surprised by a boy of sixteen when he landed just two feet away.

The teenaged boy was holding a colorful bird in his arms the bird looked injured. He didn't even notice the other occupant of the small space. So the girl stared at him. He looked wild and free, like he was a human reflection of the bird. He was every bit as handsome as the bird. He had air-bender tattoos racing from his short sleeves and on his bare feet. There was more of the blue tattoo on his forehead, if the wind hadn't shifted she never would have seen it. His hair the same unique shade as a platypus-bear's fur nearly covered his head tattoo.

"Ow! Please bird hold still! I didn't mean to hit you! Let me bandage you then I'll let you go." complained the male. His voice was soft even if he was exasperated already. And his hands they were so tender. The bird was a bird of prey and had the talons and the curved beak to prove it. The bird was tearing at the boy's shirt trying to escape his grasp. "This would be easier…"

"Would you like some help?" the girl offered gently.

He was surprised and nearly dropped the bird. He raised his eyes and the sheer grayness of them rivaled a mid-autumn overcast sky. Umaio had to blink twice because of them. "Y-Yeah…" he blushed, "That would be nice."

She inched closer whispering to the frightened creature, "Hush now sweetheart, we will help you." She softly lifted the bird up still whispering the sweet nothings to it. The air-bender got the hint while she distracted the bird he bandaged it.

When he had completed the task the girl lifted her face to smile at him. She stopped half-smile and the smile slowly faded. A boy had never been so close to her before. 'His eyes,' she decided, 'are like the light-grey clouds you can see the future in.' If you believed that nonsense. She never had… until that moment.

He was just as spellbound by her eyes. He had never felt poetic before but those eyes could inspire hardened criminals to abandon their ways and adopt the ways of philosophy and tea. 'They're like mossy water on a partially cloudy day.'

The bird jumped out of the spell the soothing voice had on it and leaped out of her arms. One of its talons put a long gash from one end and side of her wrist to the other.

Umaio gasped lurched forward and bonked her head on his chin. Blood quickly overflowed the gulf their little friend had left and dripped between her other hand that grabbed it instinctively. The blood oozed droplets onto her dress. It stained the light yellow she wore.

"Here," he tugged to her arm carefully, "let me wrap that."

And she did.

"Will you need help flying back up there?" He pointed towards the temple.

"No. I can't fly, and there's underground stairs just pass that bush."

It was then he noticed her lack of tattoos. "You're not an air-bender?" It wasn't said cruelly, more curiously.

Umaio asked sadly, "Is there a problem with that?"

"No! No, no! It's just all the pretty girls I've ever met have been. But you're prettier then them all." When the teen realized what he said he blushed and turned away. "I didn't mean to offend you."

She smiled shyly at his back. "It's okay…" She wanted to ask if he really thought she was that pretty but she was too scared of his reaction. "I'd better go now…"

She went to the hidden entrance. This entrance was triggered to cave in should they need it to. Most of the air-nomads didn't even know it was there.

The boy picked up his glider. "I'll walk you home. I wouldn't want you to lose too much blood or something." He went into the tunnel. "So…" he didn't know what to say.

"What's your name?" Umaio asked.

"Fiyo. What's your name?"

"Umaio."

"My dad would probably spout some made up meaning to that name. But I don't have the knack for that." he spouted out of nervousness. He had never talked to a non-bender before; did you talk to them differently then benders?

Umaio giggled. "It means Sky-Bison Cow. It was taken from the ancient numeric sounds. My parents assigned each syllable a number and then found what the numbers used to sound like and made that my name, after dropping a couple syllables they thought made it sound like a boy's name."

"When you phrase it 'Sky-Bison Cow' it sounds mean. Its sounds better as Female Sky-Bison. Umaio is the nicest out of all three." He smiled at her.

"Thank you." She looked at the stairs just before her feet. After a brief pause she said, "What brings you here Fiyo?"

"My group and I travel to a temple every few years. I came with them. And I'm glad I did." he was getting less shy with his words. It appeared that the people without bending were the same as people who did, or they talked that way.

"Oh you're part of the sparikeet group that's staying in the main barracks of the temple."

"Yeah."

"You must meet all sorts of interesting people in the other nations."

"Yeah… Wait a second don't you?"

"No. Whenever my parents and I travel it's by sky-bison. We only land when we have to and I have to stay in camp. We go to visit the other temples in the spring and that's it."

Fiyo exclaimed, "That's terrible! Even non-bending nomads need to travel it's in their blood!"

"You don't need to get worked up about it. It's always been that way."

"Have you ever even been on a glider?' he sounded worried.

"I can't, I can't air-bend remember."

"No! No! No! You haven't lived if you haven't been on a glider. I'll take you on mine someday I promise."

"That's nice of you but my parents wouldn't like it."

"So don't tell them 'til after. Or not at all."

"I don't know… Let me think about it."

"Okay."

They finally reached the top and he wasn't even winded because he was too distracted by his new friend to notice the length of the stairway.

She said goodbye at the top of the stairs and headed towards the small town there. "Wait up! I said I'd walk you home!"

"I'd better made a stop at the midwife's first and get this sown up. Are you sure you want to tag along?"

Fiyo grinned at her. "Yes. I'll even let you hold my hand while she sows you up."

Umaio smiled back at him. "Thank you."

Three days past and every one of those days Fiyo and Umaio would meet. They talked a lot and walked everywhere as Fiyo had yet to convince her to let him take her flying. Then on the fourth day she let him. They went up on his glider with her holding on to him.

It was overwhelming to be so far off the ground with nothing pushing you up. Everything was so new and exciting. The wind brushed franticly at her hair and for the first time ever she lost her ribbon. But even that couldn't make her care. Her free hair only added to the wonder of it all.

'This must be what freedom feels like.' she thought. 'Nothing holding you down…' She looked up at Fiyo, 'And an angel holding you up.' She blushed and looked at the ground racing away past their feet.

Before long she had to be put down she couldn't hold on much longer. She hugged Fiyo joyfully. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was amazing!"

He hugged her back lightly. "You're welcome."

That night my parents had somehow found out a wanderer had taken me flying on his glider. They were very upset.

"Umaio, what if you had fallen?" her mother asked.

"I didn't."

"Umaio this boy is part of a drifter group. We don't want you hanging around him. You're on separate paths. You will marry someone you won't tie to the earth."

"Who said anything about marrying? We're friends. I know better than to get attached to an air-bender. After all air-benders and us ground people belong in two different worlds. But those worlds have to meet somewhere. Just as the earth and sky meet." she answered.

Her father replied, "Yes but the sky doesn't take the earth up in it."

"What are sandstorms then?"

Her father was speechless.

So Umaio said, "If it makes you feel better I will not go gliding with him again. But please don't make me lose my friend too."

Her father nodded. He was content that she would remain in the mind frame they had pressed on her from birth. "Just remember dear, you won't fit in with his kind. Someday soon he will fly away and you will be stuck on the feet you were born with."

"Always father. Goodnight Mother, Goodnight Father." She walked away to her small room. Tears filled her eyes. 'Why can't they let me enjoy the time that he is here. I know he will move on but can't I be happy with him while he is around. And that talk of marriage is ridiculous. I'm not that attached to him.' Her tears were few. Crying was useless but she would miss him.

The next day he asked if she wanted to go gliding again. She told him her parents had found out about yesterday's ride and that she was now forbidden to do that again. He understood.

So they walked together, and talked and laughed and became close friends.

At the end of the week there was a festival to celebrate the change of seasons from spring to summer.

It was at this festival Umaio had her first dance, the first dance which she was allowed a male partner. Fiyo was her first dance partner.

Looking into those familiar eyes she read the movements of the dance as naturally as if she had danced with him all her life. He'd draw her close and spin her away. Every step seemed to take them higher off the floor.

She had danced before with the other young girls that lived in or around the temple but it had always been hard for her. She had never been graceful and all the girls didn't want to be around her when she danced as she was dangerous on the dance floor.

But tonight was different. She could feel the rhythm and she knew it was because of her dance partner. It was like his touch woke a rhythm that had always been sleeping in her, like his eyes pulled a plug and the clumsy girl rushed out of her feet. It was like they had choreographed the dance yet it was more natural than that.

Turning fourteen also gave her another perk; she got to stay for the whole party this year if she wanted to. The moon was the indicator at the party, once it got to a certain area of the sky the party would shut down. The air-nomads valued the importance of sleep.

Her parents went home early. They were tired and had a long day planned the next day. They left Umaio under the eye of the mid-wife. Her parents didn't know that the mid-wife thought that the brewing romance was just an innocent flirtation and saw no harm in letting Umaio experience the thrill of first love. She knew she wouldn't let it go to far.

It was when the moon was dead above that the mood changed toward the innocent flirtation. Umaio and Fiyo were on the edge of the dance floor when he drew her close again and the moonlight shot from her eyes to his. Fiyo kissed her. Suddenly their whole friendship was spinning on its ear, which was a surprisingly pleasant sensation. They pulled away. They stared at each other wide eyed and the mid-wife stared at them. The mid-wife had a smile that wanted to break onto her enthralled face. She loved to watch young love unfold.

Then he kissed her again. This time when they pulled apart Umaio put her head on his chest. His heart was beating faster than hers was. It felt like a miracle that she could cause anyone's heart to beat faster than hers did at that moment. He whispered to her, "U-Umaio, I-I think I m-may l-love you."

And the world stopped that quickly.

Umaio looked back up at him with those wide eyes of hers and had to agree, this feeling couldn't be anything but love.

At the end of the party Fiyo and Umaio went to the mid-wife and told her that Fiyo would walk her home. The mid-wife saw no harm. So she allowed them to go alone. A decision she came to regret.

Walking her back to her house they stole kisses back and forth. They looked for all the world like a happy in love couple. Because they were. But Umaio didn't get home until the sun rose.

It took an unbelievably short amount of time for Umaio to be certain. Just half a month and she knew she was pregnant. She was fourteen and carrying Fiyo's, a sixteen year old's, child.

Only two day could pass with her wondering if it was true and what to do if it was before her parents found out. And she was in big trouble.

They yelled at her for hours and then they tracked Fiyo down and yelled at him for hours too. They didn't even have to ask they knew he was the father. Fiyo found out about his baby from my angry parents.

In the end they came to the conclusion that the only solution was a shotgun wedding. No grandchild of theirs would be born out of wedlock. And no daughter of theirs would give birth unwed.

The wedding was set for two days away. Fiyo was un-accepting and refused any contact with his soon to be bride. Well except one time when he did nothing but yell at her.

"Umaio who's child is it you're blaming me for!"

"It's your baby!"

"Right!" he scoffed. "I'm too young to have a baby! So who's is it?!?"

That fight continued to escalate until she cried out in fear because he raised his hand to hit her in his anger. He stopped himself just in time. And her father rushed in and threw him out. He told him he could come back when he calmed his temper.

He never did come back.

Umaio did see Fiyo in the market when she had to go with her mother to pick up some things for the wedding the next day. And he shunned her just like everyone else around did. And that hurt more than you could guess. She couldn't even stay in the market the glaring faces were too much alone but adding Fiyo's to that was just a knife in a man who was already down. She ran all the way home and sobbed with no tears. For some reason the tears wouldn't come even though she felt more betrayed and hurt and exhausted by the hate and scorn around her then had ever penetrated her mind as possible.

That night after the sun had gone down she wanted to go talk to Fiyo. But she was stopped at the door. She had to go to him try to get him to not hate her even if he could never love her as he claimed even if he could never even like her. And she was halted at the windows. She had to try and she was locked in her room with no way out.

The next day people came to help bride and groom get ready as the sun rose. And as the sun rose the cry went up, the groom was gone.

This time when the scorn filled looks returned the tears did fall. They didn't even wait for the people to leave. They pooled and fell with the people looking at her like she was scum. This day would haunt her forever. It felt like the shame and humiliation would never end. She was unwed and pregnant and jilted two things that in that time period were unacceptable. Literally. A person found in either state was treated like trash, or should I say a woman found in either state was treated like trash.

Later that very day her father said, "We will not bare your shame with you. Pack what you can and leave."

It was simple to tell her mother had mixed feelings about sending her daughter away and was therefore leaving it up to her husband. But that didn't stop her from crying as she left or packing her some food.

There was another two people who gave her help. A monk at the temple gave her some more provisions and the mid-wife gave her a good sturdy blanket. Both gave to her without letting anyone else see. After all they still had reputations to protect.

She was allowed to take a lantern with her so she could see. Umaio in that fashion escaped into the night.

She followed the stream not knowing where she was going or what would happen to her. Right now she wasn't even starting to show yet, but that wouldn't last long.

For the first month or two she walked until she felt like stopping and people were usually friendly. They couldn't tell she was pregnant yet.

Then things got a lot harder. She began to show and when someone picked her up they asked about the baby, her husband and where she was headed. When she told people she didn't have a husband they clammed up and looked upset like she was using them. The first ride she had where she got that question she answered truthfully and the man driving the cart pulled over after a few feet and told her to get out. He had a son about her age in the back and his wife with him. His wife complained and he said, "We don't need her casting no harlot spell on our son and getting him to run off and marry her."

The wife whispered to her. Head toward the Southern Air-Temple the nuns there will help you." as Umaio got off.

Umaio muttered at the man as he drove off, "I wish I knew a harlot curse like that and I'd use it on your son just because of you uncompassionate heart." At least now she had a destination.

Three days later she got another ride. She told the truth when asked again and this time the woman, she was driving the cart alone, took her to the nearest town and dropped her off instead of taking her all the way to a town farther south like she had said she would.

After those two experiences she wised up and lied when she was asked. She said she was headed to a town close to the Southern Air-Temple because her husband was away with work. That they were too poor to afford a decent mid-wife and so she was going there to birth the baby around someone she knew and could help.

She knew at the rate she was walking as she got really big that she would be lucky to get there in time. At the moment she is traveling with an Earth Kingdom circus and they could travel the sandy, baron place together for a few days before the circus would be turning east.

There was a woman in this circus who was greasy looking, very greasy looking, she was married to and equally greasy husband and had seven dirty kids running around her. She was pregnant again and they thought it might be twins. Umaio wondered if she looked as greasy and dirty as this woman did. It was highly likely.

Neither woman could afford soaps and the only place to bathe in this stinking place is a bathhouse in one of the cities. So neither woman could bathe. They'd have to wait until they got somewhere it was free to wash like a river. And so both women and the circus woman's family all remained dirt, grease and grime ridden bunch.

When they finally parted ways the woman, whom Umaio figured out to be very kind, said, "Don't you worry none Umaio, I've had a kid every year since I was seventeen. Not all of them survived but I didn't let none die before birth and I recon you're just as strong." She meant well in her odd way. And in that odd way what the woman said was comforting.

They parted as friends.

By the time Umaio made it to the temple she was fairly sure she didn't know how to stop walking anymore. She was also sure that the baby must weigh more than she did. Most assuredly neither absurdity was correct. Umaio was exhausted, large with child and dirty. She knew the baby could be born any minute. And she wanted to know was the little one a girl or a boy. She was tired of carrying a ball of weight on her stomach.

The nuns were so kind and genuinely cared. These traits and the supreme tiredness that filled all corners of her being prompted Umaio to tell them her story, to tell them her true story. And it didn't change the way they treated her. They still helped her as they could and provided her with a place to stay and food to eat. They helped calm her fears about giving birth. These nuns were exceptional ladies.

When Umaio asked them how they could care for a woman that had done such a thing they told her the tales of two of the nuns there, the first one they told her of was none other than the Mother Superior.

"Our Mother Superior… she was married twice. The first one was a drunk and beat her when he was unable to think clearly for it. The man left her and she married again at her parent's request. This man was not a drinker but he to beat her, he beat her so badly that she couldn't breathe or walk. He broke her bones many times. You'd never think it to look at her, she is so happy. But she wasn't happy when she arrived here. She was bruised and walking on a broken foot. She gained refuge here and hasn't left again." an old nun confided.

"Yes, but that wasn't really her fault. But this is my fault."

The young nun sitting next to an embroidery stand said, "I have a past as well. And my past mistakes caused some serious trouble for me as well. When I was younger I became a thief. I had nothing and it seemed everyone else had so much. My mother left when I was a baby and all I had was my father and a dank hole in the wall to shield from the cold. I decided that I had just as much right to the things the people in town enjoyed and went into their houses to take the things I wanted." She paused to look at Umaio. "I got caught after three years of breaking into people's homes and stealing their things and their security. The man who caught me wanted to take my head clean off my shoulders but a nearby person said that that punishment was to short. So he took me to this temple when monks from another temple were visiting. He brought me here to gain wisdom from the monks on what he should do to the little thief." She paused again, this time to edit something out. "The monks eventually told him that the law said my life was in his hands as the law of the Earth Kingdom town we were from stated this. But they said that that would not satisfy him, and that if I were killed for my crimes he would never regain his stuff because only I knew where it was. In the end I told where I hide the things I took and was banished from all Earth Kingdom territory. I wrote my father but he died before the letter got to him. While I was thinking about what I could do the kindness and love of these nuns filled me with the need to be more like them. I have dedicated the rest of my life to it." That was the story of how she came here.

"So you're an Earth Kingdom girl?" asked Umaio.

"No and yes. No I'm not Earth-kingdom because my parents were Air-Nomads but yes I am Earth Kingdom because I was born in the Earth Kingdom." the just older woman said.

The next morning Umaio went into labor. Just past 9 am. She began labor half a week after arriving at the temple. Mere minutes before 1:30 pm. she was handed a little boy. He was born with brown hair. His eyes were so dark, darker than any eyes she'd ever seen. If the baby hadn't been in the room the entire time she would have thought that maybe they'd switched babies on her. The little pink mush ball lying in her arms was so different than what she thought he'd look like.

Umaio had to ask, "Why are his eyes so dark? Is there something wrong with him?"

"Huh?" The nun who delivered him turned and took a close look at his eyes. "He's fine dear. Babies are usually born with dark eyes. They'll lighten soon enough. Although… the actual color will be hard to tell for a few months. Around six months to be more specific."

"Oh." Umaio smiled a tired and proud smile. 'My baby… he is prefect. Even those dark eyes are so gorgeous.' thought the new mother.

In Air-Nomadic society it was a custom that babies weren't named until their second birthday to give their parents time to pick a name the suited the child or one they hoped the child would grow to suit. So as of yet Umaio got to love her child as he was with no pretenses that a name would give him.

Every night he woke up but Umaio couldn't bring herself to be angry at the baby. He was truly a joy for her. It was like the love she lost when she had to leave her home was reborn in this one tiny person. After feeding him when he woke her up, she would hug him until he slept then she'd carefully rest her son back in his cradle. When she was sure that setting him down hadn't wakened him she would crawl back into bed. In the brief moments she was awake between crawling into bed and sleeping she would curl around the love held in her heart.

She wondered what name his actions would inspire her to give him. Everyday she thought of one or so names and wondered if they would fit her sweet baby.

She didn't like changing his diapers but she suffered through that and in the end it was worth it to hold a happy baby.

After just a few days with her newborn the Mother Superior came to her with the most serious face Umaio had ever seen her wear.

"Is something wrong?"

"Fana please take the baby into the other room, I need to talk to Umaio alone." The Mother Superior refused to answer.

The young ex-thief nodded and picked up the baby. The baby blew bubbles at her.

Umaio asked afraid of the answer, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Umaio I know you've been through a lot and I know you love your baby…" the nun trailed off.

"Where are you going with this?"

"Umaio I think it would be best for your baby if you gave him to monks to raise."

"What!?! How can you ask me to do that!?! There is no way I'd let my son go!"

"Please just listen…"

Cutting her off Umaio thundered, "No! I will not even consider letting my baby go!" The teenaged girl stormed out of the room. She would hear no more about it.

Knock, Knock, Knock.

"Go away." said the brooding fourteen year old.

The door opened anyway. It was Fana. "Hey I brought your dinner. You still have to eat if you're going to feed your baby." Fana cut off the protest of not being hungry. Umaio couldn't deny the food when her baby wouldn't eat if she didn't. "You know she's just trying to help you and your baby. And she never said you had to give him away. Mother Superior sometimes messes up words."

"I don't want to talk about it." Umaio pushed her food around.

"I know. We just want you to consider all the options before making a decision that will affect both of you so much."

"You're saying you're not going to make me give up my son?"

"No. We don't do stuff like that… But you should at least hear everything the good and bad before you decide." She breathed a deep breath. "It's a hard decision. But you have support no matter what you choose." Fana left Umaio alone with her baby.

Umaio looked at the boy; he instantly held his hands to her. She smiled at him. "I'll do it. Don't look at me like that, I'm going to keep you but this will keep them from getting on my case about hearing it."

He just stretched a little towards her. And said, "Ah, ah."

She giggled. "Alright little one." Umaio picked her baby up and holding him with her right hand she ate with her left. "I wonder what hand you will favor…" she murmured after she swallowed. "I can't wait to know all there is to know about you." She cuddled against his face.

After dinner Umaio went and told Mother Superior that she would listen to what she had to say. They were very informative. But the only part that Umaio heard was when they told her, "… say that when he turns two he can no longer stay here. As boys aren't allowed to live here." She was tuned out of the part that didn't make that sound so harsh. Umaio bit her inner mouth to keep from yelling at the great injustice that she felt that was. 'Sure they won't force me to give up my baby, basically they're telling me give my son to someone else or live on the streets.' Umaio thought bitterly. She also missed when they told the little they could do for a single mother. She missed it because she was too busy being bitter and objective to truly listen. If she had of listened she would have heard the love they were speaking with and the concern they felt for her and her child. They would love for her to keep her baby but they wanted to be sure it was the best thing for them. And the only one who could decide that was Umaio. She would have to know with her heart what was best for them both. The nuns knew that the knowledge of the head often triggered the superior knowledge of the heart. And so they told all they knew on the subject, but in the end it was Umaio who would decide.

But being a stubborn teenaged girl she felt they were just trying to control her, force her to do something she didn't want to do. So she didn't really listen.

And the nuns realized it. They let her go before they could tell her the half of what life would be like, good and bad but they did touch on both arguments, briefly.

Some of the things she heard but paid no heed to were, "The monks will be very kind to him. They will let him make mistakes and take the responsibility for them so he may grow. The monks have a lot of experience in raising little boys to be great men. You'll probably never see him again… but they'll give him a mentor. This man will be his main teacher and father figure. Something a little boy needs. He'll have many friends close to his age and older boys to learn from and emulate." This was said before the only part Umaio really heard, before they told her she'd have to leave if she kept him with her.

The nuns then went on to tell of the responsibilities Umaio alone would bear when she had to leave if she kept her boy. But Umaio was too busy tuning them out to listen. "You'll have to get some land or a job where they will let you keep a child with you. Then you will have to work hard for scraps. You'll likely live on Earth Kingdom ground and thus you'll probably not get paid even half as much as a man who does the same job. You'll have to keep him out of trouble somehow. You will have to find someone to take him in in the daytime when you're working. So you'll have more than food home and taxes to pay for. This will be hard. You may end up homeless and you and your baby could become street urchins. The streets can be dangerous, cold on unhealthy. You'll be lucky if a man takes you both in, even luckier if he's a good man. Heck," The younger nuns gasped at Mother Superior's language. "It'll be a miracle if you don't starve." She paused to let that sink in. Then sighed realizing that her rant of these things went unheard. "Of course you'll get to see your boy every day, but you'll still miss a lot of his life working. You'll get to hug him everyday and as he gets older you'll get to laugh as he insists that he's too old. You'll kiss him anyway. And you will love each other. No matter where you end up living that is one thing that doesn't change. And we will help you as we can. But there is little we can do, most of the food grown, things made and donated are needed by the little girls here." Umaio still wasn't listening so she let her leave. It was no good to talk to someone when they were dwelling in their head.

Umaio went back to her room smiling. The depictions of the flying bison where vibrant, the colors surrounded you with near realistic truth. There was a soft breeze wandering the halls looking for someone to play with and the little girls were in the school room getting wiggles out before bed. All and all a peaceful walk to where the only joy in her life waited.

A Flying-Lemur flew out of her room when she opened the door.

"Oh good you're back your baby's getting fussy. I think he's hungry." the little twelve year old girl said. She was a sweet girl but she was always going missing, she loved to fly and couldn't wait until she was old enough to travel alone. The twelve year old handed Umaio her baby and went after her lemur.

"Thank you Elnan."

"Sure." The child turned a corner and was gone.

She fed her baby for the last time before bed as she said, "Don't worry sweetheart they didn't get to me. I'm not going to let anyone threaten me into giving you to some old geezer. You and me are going to make a life on our own. We'll show these old ladies that I'm strong enough to raise you and make a living. It will be easy."

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Hi Everyone. I wasn't going to make this into a chapter story but thanks to rushie who happens to also be my first reviewer on this story, (she/he reviewed on mediaminer.) I decided to write it as a chapter story. He/She inspired me to turn my note to Aang from his mother into a story so people could see a little bit more of the background that she was going through. So this is chapter one.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and I hope you will continue to do so. And as for mistakes if you see them let me know what and where they are so I can fix them, thanks.

Write again soon, Bye.


	3. Chapter 2 HeartBreak

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Air-bender, the very talented team of Mike and Brain own the show and characters. Umaio, her parents, Fiyo, Fana, Hitsi and Elnan are my characters please respect that. If you wish to use them please talk to me about it and give me credit for them. The rating maybe wrong but I did try to get it right.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) aka. crescentmoon (at mediaminer). And now Opal-Dreams on DeviantArt.

**The Mother Who Couldn't Be**

**Chapter Two**

As the time came that Umaio's baby would grow to the age of two Umaio began packing and the nuns were found often praying for her and other mother's like her more and more. They prayed that she was making the right choice. In a few months they would be gone. Then the test of character would get even harder for that mother. They knew it but they knew that it is hard to let go of love when one has so little.

Umaio was becoming a little bitter towards the nuns who had to follow the guidelines set out for them even if it meant turning a girl away with a baby. They didn't always like the rule but they were sworn to follow it. Honor is one of the most important things in this world.

The temple got a return note from their brother temple, the Southern Air-Temple; they would be sending some monks down to pick up twin boys just older than Umaio's son. They would arrive in approximately a month. Umaio's thoughts on their coming were less than kind. 'Let's see these devil men that want to take my son.'

She glared out at the men through her almost closed door. Umaio hid her son behind her; these men would never know he was here if she had her way.

Her boy was asleep almost as soon as they landed. So she slipped out of the room through a small opening between the door and doorframe. Today the happy bison dancing on the walls did nothing to lift her mood. She snuck close enough to see the men.

One was old, wrinkled and bent nearly to his knees. He looked like he had no business dealing with children. He was so sour looking. His wrinkles caused his face to pucker no matter how he moved it. She didn't think she wanted to know how old he was.

Next to him on one side was a man not quiet so old. He had all white eyebrows and his bald head was the only part that had any wrinkles at all. He was probably in his late sixties or early seventies.

On the other side of the oldest man was the youngest of the men. If he had hair it would probably be brown and healthy. He was probably in his forties somewhere. 'He could be my dad.' she scowled at the thought. 'Old kangaroo-goats!'

There was a boy behind them. He was more bone than muscle. The boy was a monk-in-training it looked like and he was fourteen the same age Umaio was when she had her son.

She glared harder; they were already teaching this boy to take children away from their mothers. If it weren't for the fact she wasn't suppose to be there at all she would have marched in there and rattled them with a few choice words they'd probably never heard before.

Two of the middle-aged nuns brought the baby boys out. The feeling in the room swiftly changed from all business to a more excited, loving atmosphere. One of the boys pushed violently away from the nun holding him and slipped from her grasp. Faster then Umaio could catch the movement one of the monks sent a wave of air to cushion the boy's landing. It was the monk that could be her father. "Wow! Sifu Gyatso that was amazing!" the monk-in-training praised his master.

The nun who had been holding the boy lifted him off the air and placed him on solid ground. 'Gyatso' acknowledged his pupil as she did so. The other twin seeing his companion running around free struggled to be let go. His nun too placed him on the floor.

The monks just sat down and watched the boys play. This was to help get the boys more comfortable before introducing them and so the monks could get a better grasp on the boys' characters so they could name them soon.

Umaio left, she had to, this was boring and who knew if her son would stay asleep very long. Plus she didn't want someone to catch her there. That's just what she needed, more trouble.

Throughout the time they were there Umaio caught glimpses of them. Each time she did her gaze was less condemning. They were kind to the children. The youngest monk and the monk-in-training played with the two boys when they could. She didn't allow her own son near the boys anymore and he was throwing fits about it. He wanted to play with his friends.

One day as she was walking down the hall she saw that Gyatso was in front of her and the girls were getting their break from reading class. The girls came barreling down the hall. Two of the girls were racing and didn't watch where they were going. Both of them ran into Gyatso and knocked him to the ground. The girls quickly apologized and waited for what the man told them to do. The man picked them up and Umaio thought he might spank them but instead he swung them around until they laughed hysterically. He put them down and whispered to them that that was what flying would feel like when they finally learned how. Then he sent them on their way with a reminder to look where they were running.

Gyatso spotted her and smiled at her and bowed. She looked at him curiously, with a dash of suspicion. She bowed back very little, which shows little respect, her small bow could be considered rude. She knew that. Then she turned and marched away. She'd get what she needed when he was gone.

A few nights before they would be returning to the Southern Air-Temple Umaio had to get up for some water and heard one of the twins crying. She went to them. The monks slept in the room with them so Umaio only peeked in. She saw Gyatso cradling the screaming child in his arms. The boy kept screaming but it was getting quieter. Soon the boy was calm and Umaio could hear Gyatso breathing tales of the adventures of one brave Flying-Lemur who rescued his people by pretending to be a Cobra-Hawk. The boy fell asleep before five minutes into the story.

As Umaio was gliding back down the hall she heard Elnan's youngest sister, Hitsi scream. Hitsi frequently had night terrors. She wouldn't wake up but she'd thrash around and scream things that made no sense. The nuns had to put her in her own room with just one of the nuns for company because she woke the other girls with it.

She could hear faint rustling from the room where the monks were so she hid. A handful of seconds later Gyatso walked past her to the door where Hitsi's screams where coming from and knocked. The nun inside opened it then they both went in. Peeking in the door they left open Umaio saw Gyatso lean over the bed and pray. Then he got up and began to talk about sweet flowers blooming and bunny-frogs crawling around the flower stems. He talked and described a beautiful garden in full-bloom spring. The little girl quieted as the nun rubbed her stomach.

Gyatso looked up towards the door and Umaio dropped out of the frame. But she realized she had been seen. She thought that any second he would be out to reprimand her but no one came. She went back to bed with a head full of the kindness that was Gyatso and the confusing thoughts of why he didn't even come out to ask why she was lurking around there.

As she crawled into bed a thought came to her, 'Would it be so bad to have your baby raised by him?' Umaio was angered by the thought and pushed it away with a violent, whispered, "Yes!" Yet even as she said that something deep down knew it wouldn't be so bad for her son, just for her.

The next day she was tormented by the argument that had never played in her head before, the argument to give the baby up. Each calm little thought that came and told her one of many good reasons to give the baby to Gyatso was met was a kick in the rear out an air-temple window. To bad those thoughts were air-benders and just came right back. That day while her boy napped she went out on the far side of the air-temple and yelled as loud as she could. The thoughts that she couldn't get rid of were driving her crazy. One of the thoughts that came to her most often was that fact that it like her son would be an air-bender, who would train him in air-bending? Some magical air-bending fairy maybe? To bad they didn't exist.

'No! I don't want to give him up! I don't want to give him up! He's mine! He's mine! I love him and he's mine!' she yelled in her head to the worrisome thoughts.

As the second day of those bothering thoughts wore on the things she could use against giving him to these men lost their power and the ones saying that the best thing for the boy she loved would be that man got stronger. By the end of the day she was emotionally exhausted. She just started bawling. Her baby was saying his version of 'Your okay.', "oo's okay." and patting her arm.

Umaio held him at arms length and looked at him through soggy eyes. 'Doesn't he deserve the best you can give him? The best you can give him is about to leave tomorrow.' "Sweetheart," Her voice cracked so she tried again. "Sweetheart, I love you most!" Then she hugged him close and cried into his back.

That night after her toddler was asleep Umaio picked him up and took him down the hall to where the men were staying. She went in the room silently and nudged Gyatso with her foot. "Young monk," she addressed him painfully when he woke, "I give you my boy. P-Please…" she breathed heavy and tried to keep the tears from falling on her son. "Please raise him gently, like a true father."

Gyatso stood and looked her dead in the eye. He swore to her, "On my honor I will."

She closed her eyes squeezed her son close and kissed his forehead and nodded. Following that she forced arms that cramped with the struggle to release her boy to hand her precious gift to the man in front of her. To a man she didn't even know.

Then she turned before she could renounce her willingness and steal her son back. Umaio fled out of the room and down the hallways. She didn't go back to her room. She went back to the bison barracks instead.

In the bison barracks Umaio fished a writing utensil and a paper she always carried around to have something for her son to do should she need it and began the first of what later in her life would be two of the hardest, most emotional letters she had ever written. The first words were,

'Dear Sweetheart,

I am your mother and I love you.'

It went on to say many great things and hard things that she and he had shared in their brief time together. It also told how she hoped he understood or would come to understand that she gave him to the monks in love. And for herself she wanted nothing more than to keep him. But she couldn't put him through that life.

Umaio stayed up all night and into the morning to write it. When the men were going to leave she rushed out to them and kissed her baby one more time. It would be the last time she would kiss him. She gave Gyatso the letter asking him to give it to her son when the time was right to know about his mother. She once again extracted the promise of him raising her boy with all the love he had. Then she let them leave.

Next the tears came. Tears that shouldn't have the reserve of water needed to create them came and trickled down her face. Her emotionally and physically drained body collapsed to the stone floor. She cried in a heap there for hours before eventually falling to sleep.

It was hard for Umaio with her baby gone. And while the understatement of a lifetime has just passed by your eyes it was true many times over. The first month or so was the hardest.

Umaio spent that entire first month crying. If she wasn't crying physically she was bawling emotionally, if she wasn't bawling emotionally she was wailing mentally. Even when the tears no longer could possibly form she often kept convulsing with the tears that didn't wet her cheeks. It was exceedingly painful to want her son, to love her son and have him be so far away. And with the knowledge that she would probably never see him again weighing her down more it was remarkable she could stand at all.

As she walked down the halls she could appear to be the walking dead, the okay type walking dead but the walking dead. Then suddenly tears would fountain from her tear ducts. It was hard for the nuns to watch but they understood they had to let her grieve in her own way.

Another thing that worried the nuns was that she never really ate. In fact sometimes she would cry so hard she would dry heave.

Umaio didn't even last a week before she could hardly stand the separation anymore. She went to where the nuns were gathered to pray and said, "Please help me… Please don't let me go after my baby. Don't let me take him away from the good life he will have! Physically restrain me if you have to but don't let me go after my boy!"

Mother Superior went up to her and hugged her. Many of the other nuns followed suit.

Nun Fana said, "If that is what you wish and it becomes necessary we will."

The Mother Superior raised an eyebrow then had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing during this serious time. Being a fun loving and happy-go-lucky person by nature it was hard for the Mother Superior to not find humor in serious things.

The other nuns looked at Fana oddly as well. They blamed her more 'coarse' behavior on being raised in the Earth Kingdom or on being at one time a thief.

They did actually have to lock Umaio in her room five times because she tried to steal a Sky-Bison and go after her son. One time they actually had to go after her on another Sky-Bison and bring her back. That time she got some good blows on the nuns before they dragged her back. But once she got over the current overwhelming wave of pain she was thankful to them for stopping her.

The first month ended as did Umaio's 'rescue' attempts. She still thought of her baby all the time. 'How big is he getting? What's he learning? What did they name him?' and many other questions on her son pounded in her brain all day long. But she could feel herself stretching to fill the role of a true mother, a mother who would give her very heart, her life for her child. She knew she would always love and miss him, but Umaio would sacrifice her will for the betterment of her son.

Every morning and every night she prayed for him. She prayed that he would be healthy and strong. Umaio prayed that he would learn quickly and well. She prayed for all good things on her son and his caretakers.

Umaio rarely thought of the clear fact that she would never see her son again. She wasn't ready to deal with that reality. As she grew more ready she would deal with it but for now she would pretend that she had just sent her son away to school like many parents around the world did. The pain of that thought was just too much for her to deal with so soon.

As her son would be okay she needed to make sure she would too. Should they ever meet again she wanted him to be able to be proud of who she had become. So she began training to be a nun at the air-temple.

Slowly she came around to the viewpoint that his training with the monks would make it so the blessing he was to her would engulf the world. Someday with his training spearheading it, he would be recognized as a blessing to the entire world.

Still everyday she wished that she could give him the family all babies need, long for and crave.

A year later Umaio got a letter from Gyatso. The letter said that her son was the Avatar and nothing else.

When Umaio read that she was stunned. She plopped down on her bed in the nuns' room and just stared at the letter in her hands. 'My baby is the Avatar?' It was mind boggling. 'How could MY baby be the Avatar? I mean the Avatar should come from great parents not me and Fiyo.' The answer came to her as a trickle of thought in the back of her mind. 'The Avatar came to you because you would love him enough to let him be raised by monks. And because you needed him.'

The next thought was that the world was in his hands. That's a heavy burden for anyone to bear.

Umaio began to cry and pray more earnestly then she had since she had to decide whether to do what was best for her baby or what was best for her. 'Please let my baby be safe! Please help him on his journey. He isn't just my greatest treasure anymore he is the world's greatest treasure. Please, please spirits of heaven and earth, water and fire, protect and guide my baby, my boy.'

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Hi there everyone! I don't really know what to say… Not a lot of people are paying attention to this story, as far as I know. But that's not going to stop me. I can't really blame people for not wanting to read a sad story. They're not really at the top of my list either. They usually aren't at the top of my writing list for that matter. I like to write fun happy stories. Usually my stories have romance in them too so yeah.

Anyway I would like to thank all who have read this. I want to thank even more the people who reviewed, after all they are the ones who tell me things like if they liked the story, favorite parts of the story, what they didn't like, mistakes and many other things that help me/make me happy. So THANK Y'ALL!

I will get the next chapter out soon… probably.


	4. Chapter 3 AirBison

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Air-bender, the very talented team of Mike and Brain own the show and characters. Umaio, her parents, Fiyo, Fana, Hitsi and Elnan are my characters please respect that. If you wish to use them please talk to me about it and give me credit for them. The rating maybe wrong but I did try to get it right.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) aka. crescentmoon (at mediaminer). And now Opal-Dreams on DeviantArt.

**The Mother Who Couldn't Be**

**Chapter Three**

Umaio never heard anything more about her baby for three years. When she did finally hear of him again it was because a group of boys his age were coming to the temple from the Southern Air-Temple to pick out Flying-Bison. These bison would be lifelong companions.

Umaio tracked down the Mother Superior when she found out about the boys.

"Mother Superior…"

"Yes Sister Umaio?"

"I heard some boys the age of six are coming from the Southern Air-Temple to receive baby bison."

"That doesn't concern you. You will rarely if ever see them."

"That's why I came. Mother Superior, please, please let me handle bison day! Let me be the one who shows the boys the bison. One of them is my son I want to see him again, but I swear I won't touch him, or let him know I'm his mother, or…"

The Mother Superior cut her off. "Okay dear. I will let you do this. But you must do something for me. You must dress like me so as not to confuse the boys. You see I usually handle 'bison day' as you put it. It's a big responsibility are you sure you want it?"

"Oh yes! I won't let you down I swear it!" She rushed out like she could prepare for it now.

"That Umaio, I'm glad she has so much energy. But I wonder if letting her see her boy is such a good idea. What if it throws her into depression again?" She closed her door as she thought.

We fast foreword to Sky-Bison Companion Day and the day that Umaio would see her only child for the first time in years. She was bouncing so high that someone might have mistaken her for an air-bender. She didn't know how she would recognize him after so long but she would at least know something about how he was doing by her own eyes. And she would know what kind of boys he had for friends.

Umaio hummed as she let the mother bison and her babies out to frolic before the boys came to see them.

Umaio smiled at the children as they rushed out and wondered amazed at how small the baby bison compared to the adult bison they had known. "Choose wisely, a Sky-Bison is a companion for life." she told the boys extending a basket of apples to them.

That is when she saw him and recognized him. Her little baby was much bigger and very handsome. But she would know those eyes anywhere; they were his father's eyes too. Too grey to be blue to sky like to be grey, those were the eye her son carried. Umaio's eyes followed him and tears stung beneath her lashes. But she couldn't cry on this joyous day.

None of the boys had trouble finding their bison companions. But that wasn't a surprise, it is said that baby bison are still deeply connected to the spirit world. Thus baby bison are able to recognize their soul-buddy. They just know the one who will be their best friend.

Umaio watched the bison that bonded with her little boy knock him over and give him slobbery bison smooches. She wanted to rush over and find out if her baby was okay to not let the bison near him again. But she knew he was okay. She also knew that she wouldn't be able to keep them apart now they had met. The bison would keep him just as safe as she could, probably even safer.

But still watching the bison kiss the six year old she could only dream of having the right to kiss again was hard. Never had a day gone by she didn't want to kiss him, to hug him tight and tell him of her love. This was just another unfulfilled and not-going-to-happen dream. The tears pushed harder at her eyes because of the embarrassing jealously she felt towards a bison, a young bison.

She watched the boys particularly her son until they were called into the temple for lunch. She hated the fact that she would never be allowed this close to her little one again, or at least not until he was a grown man allowed to make his own decisions. It was then that he would be told of her and given the option to visit her, to talk to her. And then he might despise her. She choked and hurried away before the kids who were going in the building a different way could see her running away.

During supper she was told one of the monks was seeking her out to speak to her. For a moment she feared it was because she saw her son closer than she should have. But when she got up to meet the monk it was Gyatso, the monk she had given her baby to raise.

They greeted each other and passed pleasantries around like candy. Then Gyatso brought up the reason that he had gone to find her. He said, "I've never known Sister Iio to be so generous when it comes to Sky-Bison companion day. It's her favorite part of being the Mother Superior. You must really touch her heart."

Umaio just smiled. The only other people who had given up anything they cared for, for her were her parents. "How is my boy doing?"

Gyatso who felt fatherly towards her son felt he knew a small measure of what she felt. He knew every word he spoke to her would be bitter sweet. So he chose his words carefully, but left little out. Gyatso felt some fatherly affection for Umaio as well, so maybe he felt grandfatherly towards her son. All he knew was this little separated family was special to him. They were closer to his heart than most of the monks in the Southern Air-Temple.

So he told her what she wanted to know. How her boy was doing in his studies. He did best in air-bending and worst in mathematics. How good he was at air-bending, the best pupil Gyatso had ever had. He picked it up quickly. Gyatso told of funny times like the time Aang, as they had named him, sneezed and the visiting dignitaries of the Southern Water Tribe were covered in baby food from his plate. And sad times like when Gyatso's pet flying-lemur died, Aang had loved the little guy.

He also told her they'd be learning to fly when the baby bison got big enough to catch them should they fall. Gyatso said, "I feel Aang will have no trouble learning to fly as he is quickly becoming a master air-bender."

Umaio listened to this great man tell of her favorite person in the world. Every little thing she heard she wished she hadn't missed but knew that things were turning out for the best. Just as Aang's life went on without her so her life too must move foreword. And it was moving quicker than necessary and more painful than needed but it was moving on.

Listening to the monk rave about her child she knew this time she had been right. She had chosen the right man to be her son's true father. He would be the image that came to mind when Aang heard the word father, and that would be right. This man would never abandon Aang. To this man Aang would forever be his son.

While her heart ached freshly Umaio refused to shed one tear while Aang was still in the temple. That would be just silly.

She was fortunate and saw her son from afar a few times before the monks and their wards had to leave. They said their goodbyes and thank yous to the main nuns before leaving. Umaio didn't get to see them leave. Yet she did glance out a window in time to see a few adult bison fly away with the boys and monks and some of the smaller bison on their backs.

For the first few days following their visit Umaio felt separated from the world, but not in a good way. She felt like she was looking in on the happiness of others while her own was blocked off from her. But as the number of days increased she was able to let go again. But the pain of it hadn't lowered much from the first time.

The years both flew and trudged by. Some days were so painful that if Umaio didn't have obligations she would have stayed in bed and others she was as happy as her heart would allow her to be. Her heart resided with her son and she knew that he was alright by its messages.

She never heard of or from her son again… at least not for over six years.

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Hey everyone! Thank you for reading! And a big thank you to arizony (a reviewer on fanfiction) for your 'negative comment in the message you sent me. You made it so I reviewed my story for misspellings (I had forgotten with how hectic things are around here). So kudos! By-the-way your review was in-depth and I love that! No worries about offending me with saying my spelling is bad, I know it is. But I'm improving, slowly. And am grateful to people who bring it up, with examples. All chapters have now been updated. Thank you again.

Thank you to Atheria on media miner for the wonderful review. Sorry I didn't thank you on the first chapter.

Thanks to everyone who favorited this story. (I don't name you unless you review, hint, hint.) hehe!

Thank you everyone who reads this even more if you review.

Please review thanks. Bye.


	5. Chapter 4 Marching Home

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Air-bender, the very talented team of Mike and Brain own the show and characters. Umaio, her parents, Fiyo, Fana, Hitsi and Elnan are my characters please respect that. If you wish to use them please talk to me about it and give me credit for them. The rating maybe wrong but I did try to get it right. **

**By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) aka. crescentmoon (at mediaminer). And now Opal-Dreams on DeviantArt.**

**The Mother Who Couldn't Be**

**Chapter Four**

One day she got a note she had felt was coming just by the shear intensity if the tenseness of her heart's messages.

Dear Sister Umaio,

This is Gyatso. I am so sorry to say that your son has disappeared. He left during a huge storm days ago and has yet to return. I am searching for him right now.

The other monks think it's a bad idea to tell you about Aang's disappearance. But you are his mother and love him. You have every right to know.

I know this news will be hard to take, and I was supposed to be watching out for him. Please forgive me! I didn't mean to lose him.

At this hard point in your life I must ask if Aang came to you. I haven't told him about you yet but maybe he found out in spite of that. So please keep an eye out for him.

Again I plead for your forgiveness. I will be out searching until I find him.

Your friend,

Gyatso.

There were watermarks on the paper and Umaio had dropped the note after she read the second sentence. She had had to pick it up again to finish.

Umaio ran to the room the nuns shared and began to pack her few items. She then realized how foolish it was to act so rashly. She still wanted to rush out after her son but she would wait and if she hadn't heard back from the temple or seen him she would be out there looking.

She wrote back to the Southern Air-Temple telling them of her plans. The paper was more covered in long dry tear marks then they had ever seen before. It made many of her words illegible.

Deep in her heart she knew that Aang was lost to the world. He was alive but un-findable, unreachable. She could feel it through their bond. Her tears fell and when the other nuns found out what happened they excused her from her duties for a few days. Her heart ripped knowing that there would never be a reunion between them. Her heart broke in her chest and left sharp digging shards of crushing black holes in her chest and abdomen. Her chest and throat convulsed under the pressure trying to push its way out and suck everything in.

Umaio barely managed to wait a week before heading out on a borrowed bison. The bison was one of the retired mother bison that the Eastern Air-Temple retained after her soul-buddy had died.

Umaio flew straight from the Eastern Air-Temple to the Southern Air-Temple. She didn't stay there long. Only long enough for her bison to eat and rest then they were off again.

Umaio directed Barabasi, the bison, in the direction that her heart told her to go. Going even farther south, towards the frozen waters of the end of the world. Her heart recognized the signals of her son even if her eyes and mind knew none of them. After all holding someone next to your heart of nine months bonds you to them in a way nothing else can, bonds your heart to them in the most powerful way imaginable.

"What's that?" Umaio whispered. She brought the bison down into an icy fortress. No not a fortress a small walled city made of ice. It was the Southern Water Tribe. There she found Gyatso.

Water-benders much like Umaio have a weakness for children. If a child is in danger they feel they must do everything in their power to help the poor thing. So Gyatso was able to convince many to help within a few seconds.

Thus they set sail on the watercraft of the water tribe. The captain of the ship Umaio boarded was a hard man. But his heart was a gem.

The captain was constantly on deck trying to help the grieving mother. Here are some of their interactions together.

"Woman are you cold?"

"No."

"Woman you need to eat."

"I will not leave this spot until we find my son."

After this her meals were brought on deck to her.

"Go back he is back that way I can feel it."

"We have checked there ten times already because you can feel him there."

"That is where he is, my heart tells me so."

"Fine."

"Woman you need your rest. If you don't rest you will get sick."

"If I rest I may miss him. I will stay like this until he is found."

"Woman! You are sick! Get below deck so you can warm and begin to heal!"

"No!" Umaio yelled. Then she proceeded to hack for three minutes.

"Go over there captain. That is where he is." she whispered under her sore throat.

"Woman I am sorry but we have gone over that spot for three days the only way he is there is if the codfish are nibbling his flesh from his bones."

That third day Gyatso landed on deck to check on their progress. Seeing the state Umaio was in he had to make a tough call. Should he stay and continue looking for Aang or should he save Aang's mother's life by taking her to a warmer climate and getting her well again. If she stayed here much longer the damage would not only be permanent but also grow unstoppably worse.

In the end he grabbed Umaio and forced her to leave the search behind. She was killing herself without sleep and sufficient heat, and with very little food. Umaio didn't like that; she screamed that her son needed her. But it had been three days, if he had been here that long there was no way he was alive. She was and she was his mother thus Gyatso would do this one last honor to Aang and for Aang he would put what he wanted behind and he would save the woman who gave him birth. He would give up his quest for Aang and pray for his safety and that he would return soon. Gyatso knew that Aang would only return when he was ready to.

Umaio was near death but the healers Gyatso found in the warmer area he went to healed her to as close to prefect as they could get her. They had to amputate two of her fingers and four of her toes because of the frostbite she had ignored. With the one foot she was lucky not to need it cut completely off at the ankle.

It was nearly mid-summer again when Umaio was on her feet. She had to learn how to balance with her missing toes but she did it quicker than they thought she would. When she was better Gyatso went back to the Southern Air-Temple. He wished that when Aang returned he would return there. He had become very solemn with the acceptance that Aang was gone.

As soon as she could walk she was gone again looking for her son. But now she didn't think she could trust her heart and wandered aimlessly through all the places she ended up. She was hoping someone had seen him.

She met Fiyo again on her travels. He was miserable. He gotten into the same kind of trouble he had with her but was unable to escape this time. He had become a hen-pecked husband who abandoned his dreams many years ago. He even gave up flying because his wife didn't like it.

Fiyo recognized her and talked to her a bit.

Fiyo was dressed poorly. His hair was grease and so messy no comb or brush in the world could get through it. There was no way that even his eyes would make her get the connection from his young self to this worn down grimy man. If he hadn't told her she would have never known it.

"Wow! Umaio is that you?"

"Do I know you?"

"Yes! I'm Fiyo I was…"

"My betrothed, I remember."

"Oh… Well… Um… That is… I'm sorry."

"Whatever. I don't have the time to talk to you Fiyo." She began to walk away but…

"Please just talk to me for a little bit it's been a long time since I talked to someone I knew when… I was happy." He slowed what he was saying way down as he got to the end like he was saying something he didn't mean to say but once he started couldn't stop.

"Fine, just for a couple minutes."

"Thank you!"

Seeing him like this was unexpected and unnerving. He was so different.

"How have you been these... what was it twenty years?"

"It's been thirteen years. And I have been as well as someone who was pregnant and jilted can be." she answered.

"Oh… Whatever happened to the little tyke? Is he here with you?"

"No. He was in training with the monks at the Southern Air-Temple…" She didn't get to finish before he moved on.

"That's good, so he was an air-bender huh? Great! And what have you been doing?"

"I became a nun."

"A pretty thing like you! What a waste! I should've married you when I had the chance." he continued.

Umaio got the feeling he didn't get to talk often anymore. "Yes you should have." She gave him a glare. "But that is the past and I am busy. Goodbye Fiyo." She waved forgetting she was missing two fingers on the hand she used.

Fiyo grabbed her wrist before she could escape. "What happened here?"

"Let go of me! You have no right to touch me in such a way!" Umaio slashed her hand away. "I lost my fingers due to frostbite when MY son ran away from the temple. Now I really must go and continue my search. Goodbye." She said that goodbye with so much power and finality Fiyo could do nothing but watch her leave.

The twenty-six year old continued on her travels. And never found who she was looking for.

A month exactly after Umaio had healed the fire nation attacked and destroyed all the air-nomads. When Umaio heard she was grateful that Aang had disappeared. Now instead of wanting him found she began praying he never would be found. Umaio hoped that he would never see this war. That his life would be untainted by the fear the fire-benders had brought to the world.

Umaio decided it was time to head back towards the Eastern Air-Temple. She knew about the records that the temples held on her people and if the fire-benders had the sense to read them before burning them they'd be looking for her. Especially because her son was the avatar and he had not been found. She had heard that many people believed the avatar was with his mother now and she was hiding him somewhere safe.

Umaio hoped that she'd make it to the Eastern Air-Temple before getting caught so she could leave a letter she would soon write for Aang to find. She'd put it in the bison barracks because she knew Aang loved animals. That was one of the things Gyatso had told her when she was recovering.

One day and night she had to hide with the bison. She hid in a cave to avoid the fire-nation soldiers. It was then that she wrote her letter to Aang and to a lesser extent the world.

The next day she left the cave. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was a mess and her nomadic clothes were dirty but she wasn't too far from the temple.

She flew up on the bison and walked in the barracks. Then she went into the temple keeping the bison near her. The quiet was strange and disturbing. She never walked out.

A few fire nation soldiers had been camped nearby. They saw the bison when it flew up and they had come after it.

One of the soldiers was impressed by the young nun when she stepped in front of the large beast and took on their full attack. The bison flew away but not before getting one of the soldiers with its horn.

Umaio flew into the mural of the sky-bison from the blast of fire she took. Her mouth overflowed with blood from her tongue when she bit it after hitting the wall. She died within seconds.

The soldier she had impressed later came back secretly. Wrapped her body in a sheet and burned it, the smoke and ashes rose in the heavens, something only her spirit did in life.

Nearly a hundred years later a young man picked up her letter. It was old and torn but he found it in rotting hay and collapsed splintered wood. He told not a soul about his find not wanting his nation to know this little secret yet. They weren't ready for it.

Then that young man died in war, one of his own men did the deed. Then that same man blamed the earth-benders they were fighting against.

The boy's father was delivered the things he had in his pockets when he died. And a long mother's letter among them brought the man much comfort in the death of his boy. It was slightly bloodstained yet it also helped change his perspective on the war his nation had brought into the world.

"…Brave soldier boy come marching home…"

**~The End~**

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**Here is the end. This ending is… you can finish that sentence for me. **

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**


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