Final Fantasy VII 1. 0:0 Inspiration: Idea

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns Final Fantasy VII… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

Notes: The three bears tale was told to a friend by his father when he was little; I claim no responsibility…_ The title is a huge clue on the ending, or maybe 'beginning' is the correct term… Mwahahahahahahaha… I'll be quiet now…_

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN  
****Phase 0: Inspiration  
****_Step 0: Idea _**

"_Destroy…"_ I need to learn to tune Mother out of my thoughts… She distracts me too easily._ "Devour." _Something tells me I do not want to know…

Now, where was I…?

Oh, yes… What to do about that Chocobo-head… He always manages to 'barely' defeat me. This is—what?—the third time that he's managed to beat me. ME, the silver-haired SOLDIER; me, the Terror of Wutai; me, a demigod among mortals…

_How _does this keep happening?!

"_Death."_

Mother has a very strange obsession with words starting with 'D,' doesn't She? Nevermind… It is of no importance…

How can a pathetic Chocobo-head manage to defeat me _every_ single time? First time, he surprised me by impaling my backside. Then, he survived Masamune's bloodlust; a feat I believed impossible…

The second time, I thought I could control him mentally and physically… Those Jenova cells in his blood should have made him _worship_ my existence, but he fought the pleasant control… I mutated my partially formed new body into a weapon, but he destroyed it… Five years of work and energy. Gone!

And his most recent victory? Against a new body formed from Jenova cells and remnant tissues… This body was even better than my original. It did not even work up a sweat. Yet, he managed to survive being impaled, _again_.

Every _bloody_ time.

"_Dental floss."_

I'm not even going to ask.

* * *

"For the thousandth time, Marlene, I don't know any bedtime stories!" Blond hair swishes as he shakes his head… I wonder why the brunette would think he would make a good parent. He is a Chocobo-head after all.

"Pwease?"

He rubs the skin between his sapphire eyes. "Fine… There were three bears; they caught on fire. The end."

The child looks up, brown eyes filling with tears. "That's not a good story!"

"Ugh… I don't _know_ any bedtime stories!"

Marlene grins up at her keeper; she may have me beaten in the evil grin department. "Okay, then I'll tell you one."

Funny… The Chocobo-head looks scared… Has this happened before?

"The Lady was pretty and kind. Everyone loved her." This is _not_ happening.

"When the Lady became an adult, she began to sell flowers. Flowers only grew at her church and at the Lady's home… One day, the Lady met a man named Cloud. Cloud had fallen through the roof of her church and onto the Lady's precious flowers." Funny, I think Zack did something stupid like that…

"To make up for it, Cloud decided to protect the Lady. The Lady led Cloud through the slums as he protected her from the vicious monsters…" Even I know the Cetra's name…

"They eventually made it through to Wall Market, but found that Cloud's friend, Tifa, had been taken by an evil man. To save her, the Lady and Cloud had to sneak into the evil man's house by wearing pretty dresses and makeup."

Hmm, I wonder if Cloud remembers the time before that?

"The Lady, Cloud, and Tifa eventually made it to Sector Seven where Cloud and Tifa lived… But the evil Shinra were going to destroy it. Tifa asked the Lady to protect a little girl named Marlene and the Lady did." Did she just refer to herself in the third person? And they think _I'm_ crazy.

"While taking the little girl to her home, the Lady was stopped by Shinra's most evil force, the Turks. In exchange for Marlene's safety, the Lady allowed the Turks to take her to the Shinra Headquarters.

"Cloud, Tifa, and their leader, Barret, learned of what had happened to the Lady and went to rescue her. They climbed a Golden Shiny Wire of Hope to the Shinra headquarters. There, they rescued the Lady…" I think I deserve some credit; I'm the one that had the cell door unlocked, afterall.

"But, they also learned that an evil force had returned. Sephiroth. Sephiroth was created in a terrible experiment by the Shinra Company. When he found out, he began to hate Shinra. And then, over time, he began to hate everything." Funny, I thought I pretty much just went on a killing spree for the fun…

"The Lady and her new friends began a journey to stop Sephiroth. Sephiroth wanted to take the Lifestream away from the Planet…" Like the Planet is using it for anything useful.

"Eventually, the Lady left her friends, so that she could try a new strategy. Rather than attack Sephiroth directly, the Lady summoned Holy in the Forgotten City of the Ancients."

… Could have sworn I killed her first…

"Sephiroth tried to stop Holy from being summoned, so he murdered the Lady… But it was too late. Sephiroth was forced to use his energy to stop Holy, so that he could injure the Planet greatly with Meteor."

… This is starting to get scary… How does a six-year-old know so much? Chocobo-head couldn't have told her…

"The Lady's friends, along with Shinra, managed to defeat Sephiroth… Meteor hurtled towards the Planet and Holy was free to stop it… But Holy only caused more destruction.

"The Lady, despite death, used the Lifestream to push Meteor and Holy away from the Planet."

Pardon?

"And because of the Lady and all of those who fought, this Planet is still here… It's Lifestream still flowing…"

… I was defeated by a dead girl in a pink dress… This must be a cosmic joke…

* * *

I've been watching this child for a while now… Why would she know about things she's never heard or seen? What is she?

Marlene never manages to sleep well at night. She always tosses and turns, as if fighting the reality in her mind.

She sat bolt upright in her bed, her eyes bulging in her eyes. A scream escapes her lips. Instantly, Tifa's arms are around the child. "Marlene, are you okay? It was just a bad dream…

"I-I don' know… It was horrible."

The woman slowly rocked the small girl, making 'shh' noises.

"It was h-ho-horrible, Tifa! You were a cat…" My head tilts, and an eyebrow rises. I suppose she is cat-like…

"Cloud was wearing a skirt!" I cross my legs. Not the first time, I suppose…

"Dad had a breakdown at someplace with a bunch of red lights…" I really don't want to know…

"A-a-and everyone was worshipping Lady Aerith…" My head tilts to the other side. Why would anyone want to worship her? I'm a much better deity.

"B-but they all were fighting about it! It's like they were obsessed with Aerithism!"

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Tifa gently strokes the girl's hair. "There, there, everything's fine now…"

"Then, Sephiroth came back and he—"

An explosion sounds outside the window. Both ladies turned their heads towards the noise. The door slams open, a Chocobo-head carrying a sleepy boy. "Tifa, we have to go. _Now_."

The small family rushes out of the bedroom. I leap from my perch on the dresser, landing gracefully on the floor. Out of the window, I can see the eruption of chaos and cannot help smiling at the scene. "Wonder what took Deep Ground so long…"

My mako green eyes watch people running through the streets. As I turn my eyes downward, silver-hair falls into my face. A smirk spreads across my lips. "Fighting… Over Aerithism… Interesting idea…"

* * *

Review if you'd like.

_And yes… I am a slacker…_


	2. 1:1 Trust:Body

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

Notes: Because I know someone's going to ask, Verrine is the fallen angel of impatience… And possibly health…  
_Must… Resist… _Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix_… Must… Resist…_

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
_**Step One: Body**_It will not be perfect, but it will have to work. Jenova's shape shifting skills are restrained by how week She's become. All of those precious cells destroyed and assimilated into the Lifestream. I am stuck using leftovers from humans to make a new body… 

Disgusting.

But, it's necessary for my master plan… I'm starting to sound like a cartoon… "DAMN YOU, NOMURA-SAMA!"

… I have no idea where that came from…

Weird.

* * *

No matter how many times I do this, the sensation of being detached from everything and then slamming into a body—a prison—never gets any less unnerving. I slowly open my new eyes and watch as grey blurs reassemble into a wall. 

I smirk at the life coursing through this patched together body. It's been a while since I felt so… alive… And to think I'm made of Midgar corpses. Ironic.

* * *

I enter the Seventh Heaven, my emerald eyes tracing the crowds gathered inside. I spot the manager near the bar, pretending to clean a glass… I walk up, a smile on my face. "Hey, what can I get'cha?" she asks me with a false smile… 

I sit down onto a barstool, crossing my legs. Could I get my legs to cross this way before? "I heard that you were hiring waitresses… and I would like to apply."

"Aren't you a little young?"

I raise an eyebrow, before tilting my head towards the only waitress in the room. "That girl looks to be—what?—eight?"

"She's my daughter."

I can feel my jaw drop. Tifa is a bigger idiot that I gave her credit for… Can't even do simple arithmetic… "I would think… a _mother_ would not want such a small child working."

"And what of _your_ mother?"

I smile and shake my head. "My Mother… is too… _sick_ to care about me." Not a complete lie. Mother does place herself first and likes to leave body parts all over the place…

"Oh… I'm sorry—"

"Not your fault."

Tifa shook her head, brunette hair falling into her eyes. "So, what skills do you have, Miss…?"

I look down at my chest… Why had I not noticed _those_ earlier? "Er, Verrine? I have a lot of patience…"

"_Duplicate…"_

Maybe Jenova reads the dictionary rather than listens to my orders… Speaking of which, I swear I said '_male_ body.' Women are weak…

* * *

Review if you'd like. 

_Must… Resist… _Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix_… Must… Resist…Oh to hell with it! To the PS2!_


	3. 1:2 Room and Board

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

Notes: In case it's not clear, it's written in Seph's first-person… Also, he would never refer to himself as 'Seph.'

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
**_Step Two: Room and Board_**

'Alright, Verrine, you can live in one of the extra rooms upstairs,' she said… Could have mentioned that it was an office… And that Chocobo-head is incapable of sleeping quietly.

I can hear him tossing and turning in his bed. Ugh… How can they expect _me_ to sleep with him making such racket?

He came crawling into the Seventh Heaven a little over an hour ago… He could not go to a hotel at 2 am?

_Creak._

Must… resist… urge… to ignite… bed…

_CREAK._

He _dies_ for this… Wait, I was planning to kill him anyway…

"_Daredevil…" _

WILL YOU BE QUIET!

* * *

The door opened easily with slight pressure. Chocobo-head had managed to throw his blankets onto the floor… Wasn't that boy—Denzel?—suppose to sleep in here? I suppose that really isn't important…

Sweat covered his face. I suppose that I am partially responsible for that… I smile at the knowledge that I am _still_ his worst nightmare.

Sheets obscure most of the view, so I'm at least protected from that horror… I place a hand upon his clammy forehead, and whisper a sleep spell. He instantly calms into a deep sleep.

I suppose I should put those blankets back on the bed… I pick up the quilted mass and throw it onto the bed's occupant. I turn back to the door, feeling more tired by the second.

PAIN!

I turn back to Chocobo-head to see him clinging to my precious, silver hair. He nuzzles against it making what sounds like… purring?

Oh, dear, God… This is my own personal version of hell…

If I pull, he'll rip my wonderful hair… I'm trapped…

… I think the universe hates me…

* * *

Review if you'd like.

Omni-Master and Sadari Jenova receive "Sephykin" keychains….

… _I give out the weirdest things…_


	4. 1:3 Meet Choco—er, Cloud

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

Notes: I just realized that this counts as a sequel to three of my fanfics (one of which isn't even finished)… How does _that_ work?

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
**_Step Three: Meet Choco—er, Cloud_**

"_Differential equation…"_

Huh?

Mmm… Stop ruining my sleep; I feel so nice and warm… What's this soft thing surrounding me? My eyes open slowly to the light-filled room. What am I leaning against…?

I tilt my eyes towards my makeshift pillow. Fair skin…?

Chocobo-head is sleeping calmly… His arms wrap me in a cocoon of warmth…

Oh, I didn't—

_/Flashback/_

I turned back to Chocobo-head to see him clinging to my precious, silver hair. He nuzzled against it making what sounded like purring.

If I pulled, he would rip my wonderful hair out.

"Fine," I hissed. "I do not want to sleep on the floor though… Scoot over, Chocobo…"

I pushed the unconscious body over to the edge of the small bed. I crawled onto the bed, and proceeded to steal the only pillow.

_/End/_

"OH, _HELL_ NO!"

Sky blue eyes fly open, and Chocobo-head falls onto the floor… Pulling me with him…

"AH!" He knocks me onto the hard, wooden floor and scrambles into the furthest corner from me. "I-I-We-we-we didn't—Oh, god, I #$&ed a teenager!" He rolls his body into a fetal position and begins to rock gently.

I knew my favorite puppet was crazy, but _this_? Suppose I need my 'toy' a little less psycho. "In case you haven't noticed…" I point towards myself. "I'm wearing pajamas."

His eyes roam the cartoonish tonberry print. "Oh…" He rubs the back of his head; reminds me of what Zack would do… "So, um, why are you…?"

"You wouldn't let go of my hair."

His sapphire eyes widen as he notices my finest attribute. "No, you can't be—" He contorts himself into his shell.

Maybe I should get Tifa…

… Or a blunt instrument. That could work too…

* * *

Review if you'd like. 

_This may very well be the slowest pacing I have ever written… I am cruel and unusual to Seph, huh?_


	5. 1:4 Lie

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

_Notes: Okay, 'cause I'm just too lazy to pick a costar character, I'm taking suggestions… The only stipulation is that it can't be RSL… Other than that, pick whoever you'd like to 'torture' and/or sympathize with Sephy-kins._

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
**_Step Four: Lie_**

"He can't be here… I killed him three times… Are you _listening_?" Chocobo-head's been like this for nearly an hour.

Granted that a lot of his craziness is my fault, I did not think he was _this_ crazy… My body feels numb from the lack of movement. Whenever I move, he begins calling out for Zack or Aerith.

Where's that—what's her name again?—Tifa anyway? Is she oblivious to him being this unbalanced?

"_Dihydrogen monoxide…" _Whatever you say, Mother.

It smells like death in here… Oh, wait that's me. I really need to take a shower. But, I must get out of here first… "… Cloud?"

He pauses his babbling and looks at me. His eyes are wide and child-like… He's a broken toy…. _My_ broken toy… "Yes… Sephir—"

"—As I've been trying to tell you, I'm Verrine. Not that…" I cannot believe I am saying this, "psychopathic megalomaniac." I mean _honestly_; it's obvious that I am a God and that humans should be 'remedied.'

"Not… Sephiroth?"

His eyes turn to a corner of the room. How can he be fascinated by a spot?

He shakes his head, and pushes himself up… Why had I not noticed that he was only wearing boxers…

… With little yellow chocobos on them…

Wait, those are my boxers! How did he get them?

"_Standard issue gag gift for Shinra members…"_

… Zack…?

Great. Chocobo-head's insanity is contagious.

* * *

Review if you'd like. 

_Once again, I'm taking suggestions for a secondary character… But, it can't be RSL. Other than that, pick whoever you'd like to 'torture' and/or sympathize with Sephy-kins._

Sadari Jenova, Skavnema, Kyae Sohma, LittleBrick, and Omni-Master receive "Cloud-chan" keychains for reviewing.


	6. 1:5 Cleanup

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass… I also do not own _West Side Story_.

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
**_Step Five: Cleanup_**

"You know… you really don't look like a waitress…" And _you_ don't look like a mother. "I think we should get you some more clothes," Tifa remarks as she looks me over. Granted my clothes do not fit properly… and are intended for the manly man I… was…

But, that's no reason for her to treat me like a meat sack. "I… don't have much money."

She shrugs, and shakes her head. "I'll have Cloud pay… And Marlene can help you pick them out. CLOUD!"

"_WHAT?"_

"YOU'RE TAKING VERRINE AND MARLENE CLOTHES SHOPPING!"

"_I'M DOING WHAT WITH WHO?"_

This is going to end badly… "I think… I'm just going to go take a shower…"

"GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE SO WE CAN TALK!"

* * *

Hot steam fills the space about me. Warm water drips off my makeshift body. It's made of mismatched patches of skin; scars mark where the pieces were fused together. 

I'll need a lot of fabric to cover this up… I do not want any more things to worry about.

* * *

"I am _not_ wearing that!" I cry at the small girl. 

Marlene looks at the ruby red cocktail micro-dress she is holding, a confused look marking her features. "Why not? You'd look cute!" No, I would look like a cross between Scarlet and a zombie… Actually, that would be prettier than Scarlet…

"NO."

"Oh come on! You have to look the part!" … Well, I know why no one questions Tifa being this one's mother now…

"Marlene… If she doesn't want to wear it, don't pester her about it…" Chocobo-head leans against a wall, his arms crossed. He's changed into a different person...

I turn away, preventing them from seeing my smile. It is _wonderful_ knowing that even with my most recent 'death' he still feels the need to put up a front.

My hand touches the various garments hanging upon a clothing rack. I pull out a dress and study the shape… How can women wear these things? The breeze must feel weird…

I should just find some pants… That would work out… "Are there… any pants here?"

The child puts a finger upon her cheek, tapping it slightly. "I suppose… but wouldn't you rather wear a dress? It'd be more _appropriate_."

I wonder if she would rather wear her organs on the outside… "I don't like showing much skin."

"But—!"

Chocobo-head shakes his head and walks over. He ruffles the girl's hair a slight smile on his face. "Maybe… Verrine will wear both…"

I tilt my head. He is definitely crazy. "Come again?"

"Wear one of _those_," he waves at the scrapes of fabric posing as clothing, "with some pants underneath…"

I suppose he would have interesting notions on gender… I blame Zack…

* * *

I turn around, showing off the outfit. 

"So how do you feel?" Marlene bounces up and down.

I roll my eyes. "I feel… pretty… Oh, so pretty."

"_I feel pretty and witty and gay!"_

You would think that an instinctual creature would have less random thoughts.

* * *

Review if you'd like. 

Omni-Master, Kameko Suigami, Sadari Jenova, Skavnema, Kyae Sohma, and Bells of Requiem receive Tifa keychains for reviewing.

_**Current Secondary Character Suggestions **(CSCS? Weird)_

Biggs/Wedge (you really can't have one without the other)  
Palmer  
Reno  
Loz

_Want to support one of the current suggestions or declare your own? Send me a review of private message._


	7. 1:6 Slave

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

_Notes: Midterms suck._

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
_Step Six: Slave_

I feel like such a whore; I know that brunet in the corner is staring at my behind. And, I cannot just slice and dice him. Well, I do not know why I could not…

"An order of Korean BBQ," the pudgy pi—customer—requests. What is Korea anyway? Sounds spicy. "And the house special." No 'please'? Figures.

"Anything to drink, _Sir_." I can feel my gag reflex acting up.

He glances at the menu as I roll my eyes. "Some Corel Wine."

"As you wish." I bow slightly, déjà vu starting to form in my head. I take the menu from the roundness that is passing itself off as human. I turn on my heel and walk towards the kitchen.

Pausing to glare at the red-head playing a drinking game, I think I remember who that little piggy reminds me of.

President Shinra.

In retrospect, I would have preferred to have killed him personally rather than leave it to Jenova. It could have been a lot of _fun_.

I push the door open with my shoulder, revealing Chocobo-head covered in grease. Now if only he would catch on fire.

Damn. Forgot to bring some materia with me. Pity. "Korean, House, and C-Wine."

The chocobo stares at me as if I have grown another head. I suppose that's possible with Jenova cells though. "Got to go, Verrine; you're in charge of Denzel and Marlene."

"Wait, what?"

He shakes his head and rubs the back of his head. "Er, Tifa and I have to go to Midgar." He pushes past me and runs up the stairs.

Blink. Tifa and Cloud are at the front door, dashing out.

Blink. Blink.

What just happened?

"Alright!" I turn to see Marlene standing on the bar. "EVERYBODY OUT!"

Considering the murderous looks of the Seventh Heaven patrons, I doubt that was the more brilliant idea. At the bar, Denzel drops his dish rag and moves beside the small brunette.

These children are going to ruin my plans.

Oh, well. At least I get to end with a bloodbath…

* * *

Review if you'd like.

_I've had the weirdest day… Starting with a guy asking me if he could cut my hair… Uh, yeah, that's a little creepy…_

Duskmon-Kimura, Skavnema, Kameko Suigami, Omni-Master, Kyae Sohma, Delcat, and Selunchen123 receive "Marlene-chan" keychains for reviewing.

**_Current Secondary Character Suggestions _**_(CSCS? Weird)_

Biggs/Wedge (you really can't have one without the other)  
Palmer  
Reno times 2  
Loz  
Genesis

_Want to support one of the current suggestions or declare your own? Send me a review of private message. _


	8. 1:7 Protect

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

Notes: I prefer "G-substance" to "tainted lifestream." It sounds way better…

_I beg forgiveness for how long this took._

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
_**Step Seven: Protect**_

Mother? I need Masamune.

"_Dairy."_ Okay… Masamune would be _great_ right about _now_.

I can feel the Jenova cells spreading out of my body and out my hand. I grasp the imaginary blade as it forms itself into existence…

_Rip._

I tilt my head at the sound. My shoulder seems to have disconnected itself. And has decided to ooze blackness… G-substance? Mother, You've become cheap in You're old age.

BANG!

You'd think I would have noticed a gun sitting under the bar. Or, that a seven-year-old girl could wield a rifle like Shinra-trained pro. "I _said_ 'EVERYBODY OUT!' "

Blink.

"Where did everyone go?" I turn my head about looking for signs of life within the bar.

I feel a tug on my skirt and turn to see Denzel clinging to it. "Denzel…?"

"You have geostigma, huh?" What is he—I watch the inky liquid slide down my arm, coating Masamune. Oh, _that_.

The brunette grabs her pseudo-sibling and pulls him away. "S-Sephiroth?"

_"D'oh." _

How does everyone figure that out? Do I just project evilnesss?

"What are you doing here?"

"I—"

She shakes her small head violently. "Haven't you hurt _enough_ people?"

Technically, most of those people were Jenova's fault… "I want… I'm trying to make it up… I want to do something _good_ for the Planet." I'm brilliant!

Must not smirk evilly.

"You killed the Maiden." And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Must _not_ smirk evilly… I shake my head, willing Masamune dissolve.

"You destroyed Midgar." Obviously, she doesn't realize what a hellhole that place was.

"You've _hurt_ Cloud." Doesn't that just make the Chocobo-head more cuddly? "Why would _you_ want to help anyone?"

MUST NOT SMIRK EVILLY… "The Maiden… she helped me understand… I need to make it up to the Planet and to the people of it; I need to teach them what she taught me."

The children tilt their heads, the girl loosing her grip on her weapon. "How…?"

Oh, what the hell. Evil smirk time! "You're story, Marlene. I want the whole Planet to know of her sacrifice… Will you—_could_ you—help me spread her message?"

Her eyes become unfocused, the look of concentration across her young face. "Okay… But you have to promise to not do anything 'bad.' " She held out her pinky towards me.

I latch mine around her smaller digit. "I promise not to do anything 'bad.' " Evil and malevolent is a _whole_ other story.

* * *

Review if you'd like.

Kyae Sohma,, Skavnema, Kameko Suigami, Bells of Requiem, Omni-Master, and Sadari Jenova receive "Denzel-chan" keychains for reviewing.


	9. 1:8 Sacred Spring

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass…

Notes: No, I didn't die… I was snowed in; my computer crashed; and I had to go to work… It's all very counter-productive.

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase One: Trust**  
**_Step Eight: Sacred Spring_**

"Come on!" the small child yanked me into the decaying building. Inside the ancient wood building, my eyes traced the caved in ceiling. Not far inside the building, a pool of water rested tranquilly.

The petite brunette stopped at the pond's edge and squatted down. She dipped her finger in, making circles upon the surface.

"You should get in!" Denzel called as he put pressure on my back.

This is going to end badly.

I place my boot-covered foot into the water.

Okay, that went well.

"Go on," Marlene encouraged.

Another step… and still nothing.

And another.

And another.

This isn't so bad… I begin to feel water pushing through my clothes…

It's kind of warm.

… Very warm…

An unusual scent reaches my nose…

A cross between rotting and burning flesh…?

"O DEAR GOD! IT'S BURNING MY SKIN!"

I kick at the water as I rush out of the water. Marlene covers her mouth in shock; typical, no one ever bothers to save someone in immense pain, do they?

My breaking is shallow as my face leans across the splintered wood.

"Se-Sephiroth?"

"Yes, Marlene," I rasp.

"You look pretty."

If I was able to move, she would die very slowly for that comment… Although, the slowest death would be old age, wouldn't it? Damn…

"No really! You're skin looks so nice!" I can feel a tug upon my sleeve, but I make no effort to aid Denzel in lifting me from the floor. He forces my body into a sitting position, facing the pool. I gaze into it, seeing my stolen face…

… But, it looks like it belongs to only one person, instead of the mismatch I had this morning…

I don't like it very much though.

… It looks more like the face a savior would have, not a ruler…

More importantly, I'm still a _girl_. Honestly, what did I ever do to deserve such a cosmic joke?

"Um, Sephiroth?"

"Yes, Marlene," I growl as I stare into my reflected, emerald eyes.

"… I think we should give you a new name; what with the new body and all…"

I tilt my head, watching my doppelganger do the same. "Oh? What do you suggest?"

"Yuna… You look like a 'Yuna.' "

"Have you ever met anyone named 'Yuna?' "

"Well, no… But, I know a Yuna when I see one!"

I hate everyone.

* * *

Review if you'd like.

_Am I the only one who thinks Denzel should just not exist?_

Duskmon Kimura, scarlettHuntress, Kameko Suigami, Skavnema, Bells of Requiem, Kyae Sohma, CornCob, Omni-Master, and readergirl-290 receive "Yuna-Sephiroth hybrid" keychains for reviewing.


	10. 2:1 Image:Priestess

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Sephiroth would not be such a complete dumbass… I also do not own "I Feel Pretty."

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase Two: Image**  
**_Step One: Priestess_**

"When was this taken?" I hold up an image of Chocobo-Head and the Cetra at Gold Saucer.

Marlene smirked, pulling the picture from my hands. "That's when Cloud and Aerith had their date!" Her tiny, thin mouth contorts into a frown. "But, Tifa doesn't like this picture… It's 'cause Cloud likes Aerith more than her."

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Chocobo-Head _cannot _comprehend 'love.' He's too much of an idiot. But then, maybe that's why the miniature-brat used 'like?'

Nah.

"It's a really pretty dress, don't you think?"

No, I think it's is an ugly, baby-vomit pink. "Very pretty… Wouldn't be that hard to make…"

She raises a small brunette eyebrow. Her arms cross as she asks, "What would _you_ know about sewing?"

Yes, because 'evil incarnate' and 'seamstress' have nothing to do with each other. "One of Hojo's assistants taught me…"

"Oh… She must have been nice."

"I suppose _he _was… Not very smart though; Hojo had him disemboweled after he learned I could sew."

"Oh… It'd look pretty on you…"

"It'd look cute on you, Marlene." Must resist urge to cut own tongue out.

She claps her hands together. "We should make them!"

* * *

"I feel pretty; oh, so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and bright!" Marlene twirls her dress about her small frame. 

I tug at the edges of my dress. Why it rides up so much, I do not want to know. "I feel pretty; oh, so pretty… That the city should give me its key. A committee should be organized to honor me!" Or better yet, a fountain of Chocobo-head's blood… That would be pleasant.

"Although," Marlene taps her childish chin, "we should put a bow in your hair." She tugs my precious silver locks, dragging me to her eyelevel. She takes a ribbon from the dresser and ties my hair up.

I stand to see my reflection in the mirror.

Perfect.

"Aerith will be proud of us…"

Her tiny brunette head tilts. "Huh?"

I smile at my reflection. "I didn't mention it?"

Her reflection shakes its head.

"Oh, silly me!" My smirk widens. "I want _everyone_ to know all about Aerith… She protects everyone, so…"

Her eyes widen.

"Something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing… Just…"

I turn to face her. I kneel upon the ground. "Just what, Marlene?" Must not smirk evilly.

"Just… that sounds like a bad dream I had…"

I wrap my arms about her tiny frame, pulling her into a hug. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you," I whisper into her smooth hair.

I, on the other hand, will have to chop my arms after this.

* * *

Review if you'd like. 

Duskmon Kimura, Kameko Suigami, Selunchen123, scarlettHuntress, Skavnema, Thunderstorm101, creepy tauren lady, Bells of Requiem receive "Aerith-cosplay Sephiroth" keychains for reviewing.


	11. 2:2 Message A

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns _Final Fantasy VII_… If I did, Cloud would have been diced several times over by Sephiroth.

_Notes: Look! I can still breathe!_

* * *

**PROJECT MAIDEN**  
**Phase Two: Image**  
_**Step Two: Message A**_

I look at the stacks of posters, a grin upon my face. Aerith lay on the images, her hands clasped in prayer, an angelic light surrounding her. She looked every bit the messiah. "They're perfect."

"She looks so pretty like that," Marlene admired.

"_Whore."_

For once, I actually agree with Mother. "Yes, so let's get these up." I hand her half of the copies, and pass the staple gun to the unnervingly quiet Denzel. "Put them up all over town."

They scamper out of the Seventh Heaven, hell-bent on fulfilling their mission.

People really are sheep.

* * *

Oh, what a terrific turnout. I lean against the statue commemorating the destruction of Midgar, a smile on my plump lips—isn't that a queer thought? The great, powerful Sephiroth with plump lips.

About me, people of different ages, professions, and dispositions swarm to hear the message of the 'Maiden who Travels the Planet.'

I wait.

I need them restless.

I need them anxious.

So, I wait.

And I wait some more.

The tension fills the plaza.

Some turn as if to leave.

Perfect.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" My voice booms through the crowd, stilling them all.

"I come before you to tell you of a maiden. _The_ Maiden who Travels the Planet.

"She protects you," I point to an elderly man towards the center, "and you," a woman at the edge of the mob, "and even you," a small child clinging to his mother.

"The Maiden watches the Planet and all its inhabitants, protecting them from harm.

"I come before you as a messenger of the Maiden. There are still… _individuals_… that would wish the Planet harm. Individuals that wish _you_ harm.

"The Maiden needs these remnants and traitors removed from the Lifestream…"

* * *

No one moves from their spot.

They are entranced.

And then they erupt into a frenzy.

Everyone needs something to believe in.

And I heartily believe that I am evil incarnate.

And I love being evil; it's entertaining.

* * *

Comments? Questions? Concerns? Urges to wish me violent death?

Peanuckle, CornCob, Butterfly of Death 2007, Stella the Sniper, Selunchen123, Phoenix Elentari, Bells of Requiem, Kyae Sohma, Hajime Morikawa, and Skavnema receive "Evangelical Priestess Sephy" keychains for reviewing.


End file.

Final Fantasy VII, Humor