Kim Possible 1. No Time for Drama

Kim Possible walked distractedly through the halls of Middleton High.  She was so immersed in her thoughts she hardly noticed her best friend Ron sneak up on her.

"Hola Kimmy!"

Kim jumped a mile high, dropping all the papers she had been holding limply in her hand.

"Ron!"  Kim groaned.  She bent to pick up her work.  Ron helped her.  

"Where were you at lunch?"  He studied her more closely. "You look terrible."

Kim glared.

"Ah," stumbled Ron.  "Terrib…ly good."

Kim smiled witheringly.  "Thank you for the complement.  I was in the library putting the finishing touches on my biology paper.  And I suppose I look so terrible because I had to stay up all night actually writing it."

Ron waggled a finger at her.  "Tut tut tut, you know better Kim."

Kim blew a strand of hair out of her face and reached for the last page of her report, nimbly dodging a pair of sneakers.  "I couldn't help it!  Our last mission kinda 'filled up' my weekend."

"Mission?  Well, we didn't really 'complete' the mission.  Drakken got away."  

Kim wasn't listening, but was ticking off several other responsibilities she had on her plate.  "…and on Monday I had cheer practice and a meeting with the yearbook committee, and – " 

"Possible!"

Kim stood up and saw Coach Barkin marching up to her.  Ron greeted him heartily but the Coach ignored him.  

"How rude," stated Ron.  Rufus popped out of his pocket and made a noise of affirmation.

"What is Coach?" queried Kim, who was shuffling her papers into the right order.  

"Congratulations Possible.  You've been chosen to be the lead in the next school play."

Kim nearly dropped all her papers again.  "Wha-_what_?!  But how?  I didn't even audition!"

"Ms. Pirelli asked me to find someone for the lead, and I found you."

"Ms. Pirelli?  The new drama teacher?"  Kim recalled the newest addition to Middleton's staff, a bony lady who wore purple glasses and spoke in a very shrill voice.  She shook her head and continued her protest.  "I can't Coach, I have too much to do."

"It's true sir," put in Ron.  He pulled out a pocketbook schedule and showed it to Coach Barkin.  "As you can see," he began eloquently "her March is completely full.  I wouldn't recommend any plays till April..."

"_Stoppable_!"  exclaimed the coach.  Ron subsided meekly.  "You have to do this Possible.  Ms. Pirelli will – well, you don't want to know what will happen if she can't find a lead for her play."  His voice dropped low, so low Kim and Ron had to lean in to hear.  

"Frankly, her play isn't raising much interest.  Only two people have auditioned, but Ms. Pirelli said they were terrible.  She was at her wit's end, and asked me to help her find some youngsters."

"Can't you ask anybody else?"

"_Talented_ youngsters," added the Coach.  "She won't accept just anybody.  So that's where you come in."

"But – "

"I'm sure you can fit it into you're schedule."  The Coach started to walk away.  "If you can't make this play work, nobody can."  The warning bell rang, and Kim had to sprint top speed to reach her next class.  Ron arrived, breathing heavily, a minute after the late bell.

After being told off by the teacher, Ron seated himself next to Kim.  "So, I guess you have to do this play thing."

Kim folded her arms and lay her head on top of them.  "I guess so."

Ron leaned back in his chair.  He stretched his arms behind him.  "Yeah, well at least – "

_ -beep beep, beepbeep-_  

Ron fell backward.  Half the class turned toward him, but he jumped into his seat as quickly as he'd fallen out.  He twiddled his thumbs, first looking at the Kimmunicator, then Kim.  

"At least I don't have to save the world right now?"  Kim smiled at Ron, then grabbed the Kimmunicator, which was starting to beep again.  She saw Wade's face pop up onto the small screen.  "Hey Wade.  What's the citch?"

A/N: how do you spell 'citch?'  Hmmm…if this is the wrong way, someone tell me. ;)


	2. Two Rights Make a Wrong

"He's stolen a giant battery?" 

Kim and Ron were walking down the hall to their lockers.  The Kimmunicator had caused something of a disturbance during class, and the teacher warned Kim that she had better 'turn off her cell phone' or she would have to take it away.  Kim was not able to speak to Wade until after class.

"Yeah, that is what I was trying to tell you.  Then you cut the power."

"Would you have rather been confiscated?"

"It wouldn't have mattered.  Drakken's already got what he's wanted."

"Great!"  Kim gripped the edges of the Kimmunicator.  "I could have stopped him that last time, except that – "

"HEY!  That wasn't my fault!"  Ron interjected.  

"You fell off a building.  I _had_ to save you."

Ron crossed his arms.  "I had a little trick up my sleeve.  You could have gone after Drakken."  Rufus, who was perched on Ron's shoulder, shook his head vigorously.  

"Yes,"  said Kim.  "You seemed so confident screaming at the top of your lungs."

"Uh, guys?"  Wade asked.  "We still have to figure out what to do about Drakken.  A battery of that size could be used for only one thing in Drakken's case."

"I know," Kim said, pausing before her locker to deposit the books she wouldn't need tonight.  "To power something massive and destructive."

"Exactly," Wade nodded.  "We have some time though.  I've done some research, and it turns out that the battery Drakken has is useless without it's companion."

"You mean there is another giant battery out there?"  said Kim. 

"Yes, but I can't find its location."  

"We should bust Drakken!" exclaimed Ron, punching his fist into the air, and his pet imitated the gesture.  Kim looked up from Wade to Ron, and shook her head knowledgeably.  "Bad idea.  We can't just go in there and steal the battery back.  It's too big."

"The army is already hunting for the stolen battery," called Wade from the screen.  "So I'll try to find the location of the other battery.  Then you can ambush Drakken when he tries to steal it."

"Now that's a plan," smiled Kim.

"I'll contact you after I find the other battery.  Later."  The screen went blank.

"What do we do in the meantime?" asked Ron.

"Well, _we _could go to my first rehearsal."  Kim was already dragging her friend down to the auditorium.  

"_Hey!_"  Ron tried vainly to get free.  Rufus squealed and scrambled to the top of Ron's head.  After a ten second struggle, Kim stopped and took Ron by the shoulders.

"Come on Ron.  Just this once."  Ron stopped squirming and looked at her, his brown eyes considering.  "I don't know…"

"Not even after I saved you from a very gruesome death?"  

Ron's shoulders sagged.  "All right.  But not because of the falling off the building thing.  I don't think anyone should be left alone with Ms. Pirelli."  He grinned at her, plucking Rufus off his head at the same time.  

Kim returned the grin, and noticed the corners of his mouth drop a little.  "Thanks Ron."  She began walking again, and he fell into step beside her.  They were chatting jokingly when Kim suddenly collided with someone.  It was Bonnie.  Bonnie fussed with her hair before addressing her.  

"Watch it!"    

"Oh I'm so sorry."  Kim's voice held little sympathy.  Bonnie smiled sweetly.

"Practice tomorrow Kim."  She twirled a lock of hair around one finger.  "Although you should probably stay home and rest.  You've been looking drab lately."

"I'll be there Bonnie," Kim said through gritted teeth.  "My routine is still as good as ever."

"Whatever," called Bonnie as she turned a corner and disappeared out of sight.

Ron looked back at Bonnie, then at Kim.  "Maybe Bonnie's right."  Kim started to fume, but Ron rushed ahead.  "I mean, you looked dead tired this afternoon."

"I'm not that exhausted!" exclaimed Kim.  "Just a bit of stress, no big.  I'll get past this."

Ron shrugged, still a tinge concerned.  "Just looking out for you, is all."

Kim looked at him, but he was staring straight ahead, his hands shoved in his pockets.  She thought he looked flushed.  Her face softened.

"I'm all right, really," she said, trying to perk him up.  "Thanks for caring."

Still looking forward, Ron smiled distantly.  "Sure.  That's what friends are for, right?"  

A/N:  I know what you're gonna say.  "Giant battery?!"  Yes, it may seem a bit strange, but they are like, REALLY HUMONGOUS BATTERIES!  *giggles*  And thanks oodles to everyone who corrected me.  SITCH!  I'm such a dork, and I think I should go now.  Oh no, there was something else.  Forgot the disclaimer in chap 1, so I DO NOT OWN KIM POSSIBLE OR ANYTHING ON DISNEY FOR THAT MATTER.  There. 


	3. Ms. Pirelli Should Play the Lead

"Ms. Pirelli?"  Kim called.  Her voice echoed strangely in the auditorium, which definitely looked creepy at the moment.  It was all dark, except for a faint light from the stage.  

She and Ron walked tentatively to the stage.  "Ms. Pirelli?" repeated Kim.  She  heard a scuffle and a thump.  Then a deafening shriek came from the stage.

Ron screamed as well and grabbed hold of Kim's arm.  The shriek had come from Ms. Pirelli, who was skittering down the steps toward them, a turquoise skirt flying behind her.  Ron jumped back.

"Oh!  You are _perrrrrfect_!" exclaimed the teacher, eyeing Kim impressively.  "The voice!  The poise!  And that is a _wonderful _look of confusion."  Her voice could have broken glass.

Kim resisted the urge to put both fingers in her ears.  ""Uh, yes.  Mr. Barkin said that I had to – that you needed someone to play the lead."

"And you will!" cried Ms. Pirelli, causing Ron to edge away a few more steps.  "I knew Mr. Barkin wouldn't let me down."  She clapped her hands excitedly.  "Shall I explain the story?"

"Sure.  Is it some Shakespeare play?"

Ms. Pirelli looked scandalized.  "Shakespeare?" she sniffed disdainfully.  "Oh my no, this is an O-RI-GI-NAAAL!"  With that said, she grabbed Kim's shoulder with one arm, and after some extending had Ron under her other arm.

"Mommy," squeaked Ron.

"It all begins," started Ms. Pirelli, drawing a dramatic breath.  "With a scuba diver by the name of Eugenia Oxyswimmer.  She is exploring the depths of the Atlantic ocean, when she comes across a thicket of seaweed."  Ms. Pirelli released Kim and Ron, then lay flat on the floor, kicking her arms and legs. 

"'What a strange species this is,' murmurs our protagonist.  Then quite suddenly!"  Ms. Pirelli's body seized up at this point.  "There is a bright light!  Eugenia goes unconscious…"  Ms. Pirelli flipped onto her back, her eyes closed. "…then awakens,"  Her eyes then fluttered open, a hand to her forehead.  "To find herself surrounded by a mermaid clan!"    

Apparently this rendition was too much.  Ms.  Pirelli looked as though she had fainted for real.  Kim and Ron stood gaping at her, then looked at each other.

"I go now…" whispered Ron.

"No!" said Kim fiercely.  "We have to do something."

Kim knelt next to the very still teacher.  "Ms. Pirelli?  Are you okay?"

Silence.

"Ron,  I think we should call – "

"LEVATHAN!" screeched Ms. Pirelli, leaping to her feet.  She reeled on Ron.

"Eugenia sees our star male for the first time – Levathan!"  Ms. Pirelli appeared confused, as though she had missed a line.  "Although he is a more muscular fellow…"  Ron was stricken.   "At least you aren't terribly short."  

"Oh no…no way," Ron managed.

"Here are your scripts," breathed the teacher.  "I have given you the _feel _of this phenomenal story, so work from there."

"Thanks," said Kim who didn't quite know what to say after witnessing such a display.

"I must go now," sighed Ms. Pirelli.  "To recruit ten _worthy _mermaids and mermen to fill the stage."  She pushed past a stammering Ron.  

"Wait!" said Kim.  "How long do we have to memorize this?"  She indicated the script.  A faint look of panic crossed Ms. Pirelli's eyes.  

"Opening night is, er, Saturday."  Now Kim had the same look Ron had. 

"Saturday?  That's barely four days!"   

"Saturday?" mouthed Ron, obviously horrified at the thought of coming to school when there wasn't supposed to be school.

"Mmmm, yes.  Well, I must go now."  In a flash, the teacher had vacated the scene.

Kim's bewilderment was shaken away.  "Four days!" she said angrily.  She put a script-holding hand on her  hip.  "I cannot _believe _I got dragged into this!"

This sentence seemed to yank Ron out of his stupor.  "I can sure believe it!"  He flipped through seven pages of lines, then glared at Kim.

"What?" she asked.  "It wasn't my fault." A thought occurred to her.  "It's after school, isn't it?  Who does Ms. Pirelli think she is going to hunt down at this time?"

"The school does have student addresses, you know," mused Ron.  He had taken a seat,  muttering some indistinguishable words.

"What's wrong now?"  Kim quirked an eyebrow at him.  

"_At least your aren't terribly short!"_ mimicked Ron.  "I'll show her!  My performance will be THE best in all school play history."

"Wow.  That's a far cry from not even wanting to come to the auditorium."

"I must do this KP," proclaimed Ron.  "For every guy whose ever had his ego hurt."

"How…noble," said Kim sarcastically.  Then she brightened.  "Maybe acting might turn out to be your thing."

Ron blew his knuckles.  "Among my many other talents."

"Like falling off buildings?"

Ron dropped his arms heavily at his sides.  "Okay.  That does now help my ego – _at all_."

"Aw," Kim feigned a look of repentance.  "How 'bout I buy you a taco.  Will that make it up?"

"That, and a pizza," said Ron.

A/N:  Nothing about Drakken's plot, but hopefully someone was weirded out by Ms. Pirelli.  Magical portal seaweed, whee!  Tay, we hear more about gigantic batteries next chapter.  Many thanks to everyone who reviewed!      


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Kim Possible, Humor