Kim Possible 1. Chapter 1

Kim Possible Season Five

First off, I want to say, the people who desire a season five, I wish them good luck.

These concepts are not to be taken as disrespect, just a funny idea that came to mind.

My concern with a season five is this: If the original creators will not be a part of the process, the outcome is uncertain and you might not like the results.

For some, they may recognize the original source for the chapters.

I may run with this idea for a few chapters or go with another concept. It'll depend on the responses.

I do want to thank the following for giving their inputs: Mr. Dr. P, Noobfish, Yvj and spectre666.

I wonder if there's anyone left willing to read it.

As always all characters as owned by Disney except for Ruf-fus, Principal Rules and Joe Stoppinghem, those are my creations.

And now concept number one: The Rufus and Ruf-fus show.

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The incessant ringing of the doorbell had torn Ron away from his dream of Kim. This one involved a lake, a boat, Kim on skis, a water tank filled with sharks. Groaning with the grumpiness of a man many decades older, Ron rolled out of bed. As he was about to take a step forward, he found himself falling face first, smacking his noggin on the cold, hard floor of reality. He groaned in pain as he rubbed his nose, realizing to his embarrassment that in his sleep, his Fearless Ferret pajama pants have subverted the design of the elastic waistband and fell down to his ankles.

While he made his way to the source of the knocking, Ron stopped in his tracks when a question hit his mind, _"Why would Kim be wearing a leather jacket while skiing on a lake?"_

As he opened the front door, he was greeted by a delivery man in matching brown shirt and shorts. He was holding a small brown package under one arm while handling a clipboard with the other.

"DHUPS. Are you Ron Stoopable?" asked the brown-uniformed deliveryman.

"That's Ron Stoppable."

"Six of one, half dozen of another." Obviously this guy took great pride in getting his deliveries to their destination. "There is a package for you. Your signature is required."

Ron put his signature on the clipboard and took the package. The DHUPS guy left, muttering something about working weekends.

Ron looked and noticed the return address on the package was from Joe Stoppinghem.

"I wonder what my Grandpa has sent me this time?" the teen wondered, remembering some of the strange things that had been delivered in the past. Where did he put that case of BBQ-peanut butter flavored sparkling water anyway?

Ron mused out loud. He raised the box to his ear and was about to give it a little shake when a tiny but clear voice rang out from the inside. 

"Hurry up! It's stuffy in here and I have to go to the bathroom!" A muffled voice came from the package.

Shocked the box was talking to him, Ron tore open the box to find...

"A naked mole rat?!" Ron exclaimed, looking toward his longtime best friend. "Rufus? Were you aware of this?"

"Uncle Rufus!" Exclaimed the enthusiastic naked mole rat that leaped out of the box. He was about the same size as Rufus, albeit a little shorter, a little pinker, and his face a little rounder. But unlike Rufus, he walked casually on his two hind feet as though he had been doing so his entire life. He leaned toward the confused mole rat, hugging him. He chirruped happily**, **"Hi! I'm your nephew Ruf-fus!"

"Huh?" Rufus spoke.

"Rufus, this guy is your nephew?" Ron was still trying to accept this 'gift' from his grandpa Joe. With a big question on his face, he asked his little best bud, "You know, I don't actually know how big your family is?"

Rufus chattered back in a speed and a method only Ron could follow.

"That many? Wow, I guess your granddad got around. Well for one thing, there certainly won't be any family reunions here. If people thought there were rabbit problems in the Austrian Outback, they would completely freak if that many mole rats descended on Colorado."

"Australia," Rufus chatted back.

"Australia?"

"Uh-huh," smiled the little guy.

"Not Austria? Are you sure?

"Uh-huh."

"I've got to remember that."

Looking at the box the new guest was residing in, Ron began to grin.

"Ruf-fus, huh?" Ron asked the latest naked mole rat.

"Well I've also been called Scrappy-Ru," Ruf-fus answered.

"No, no! R-Ruf-fus is good," The blond replied with a slight quiver, or would that be shiver, in his voice. Once again another realization hit his mind. "Rufus, why does he speak better than you?"

"Hey!"

"I'm just saying... I mean this guy could almost be mistaken for a normal person talking."

"Oh, I can also impersonate people's voices," added Ruf-fus. He paused for a moment as he drew in a deep breath, and suddenly yelled out in Grandpa Joe Stoppinghem's voice, "Hey, you hoodlum kids, get off my lawn!"

"Woof!" Ron exclaimed in surprise. "That's exactly what Grandpa Joe would say. How about me? Can you do me?"

"Sure," Ruf-fus replied. Clearing his throat again, Ruf-fus spoke as Ron-like as possible, "Not Austria? Are you sure? I've got to remember that."

"Badical. This could be great fun. I could be in two places at once," Ron said slyly. "Can you operate a phone?"

The newly arrived mole rat replied with a New Jersey accent, "A ring a ding, it's in the genes, Jack!"

"Yea, that's nice. Anyway, Rufus can you show him where your bathroom is? I need to hit the showers."

The weekend was a quiet one for a change. No calls from Wade, and the Possibles were visiting James' brother, Slim, in Montana. Ron, Rufus and Scrapy, er, Ruf-fus were having fun doing guy things. Ron told the newest member all about his friends and their families helping him get settled in.

On Monday morning Ron headed for the Possibles to walk Kim to school. After introducing the gift from Grandpa Joe to the family, but keeping the little guy's talent a secret, Ron and Kim headed to school.

"Ron, I know that Rufus has been going to school with you for some time now, but do you think that bringing one of your grandpa Joe's presents to school is a good idea? I mean remember the BBQ-peanut butter sparkling water in home ed?" Kim asked.

"Hey, how did I know that Bonnie had a peanut allergy? Besides she did look cute with her face blown up like that. Sort of a Japanese kewpie doll."

Trying her best to hold back a grin, Kim stood her ground. "I think you're pressing your luck with two naked mole rats. Remember, the squad needs you for cheer leading practice and for the regionals."

"Two naked mole rats," James T. Possible replied from behind the hedge. "We didn't have naked mole rats in my day... I did make friends with a lab rat though, I called him Pinky Joe Curly Tail."

Remembering this was what her father had said at breakfast this morning, "Wait, where did it came from?" Kim wondered out loud.

"Hicka-bicka-boo! Hoo-sha!" A voice came from the same location sounding like the tweebs.

"Ron! What's going on?"

"Kim, isn't it great!" Ron finally replied excitedly. "It's Ruf-fus , he can impersonate people. He's quite good at it. Although I don't think he's quite gotten me down yet."

"Kim, let's head for Bueno Naco after school!"

"OK, I'm wrong. He's got me down."

"Ron, I have a bad feeling about this," Kim warned with a worried look.

Once again with a Jersey accent Ruf-fus replied, "Welcome to Middleton High, Middleton...Chickie-baby! What can I do you for? No need to get your skirt in a bunch."

"Fly me to the moon, let's play among the stars," he also crooned.

Kim's began to stare in a dream-like state, but soon she realized what was happening and began to shake her head. "Ruf-fus, you're going to cause trouble. The main reason Rufus is allowed to go to school is he doesn't start trouble. He sleeps most of the day. Hey? Why aren't you sleeping like him?"

"It's in the genes chickie-baby!"

Soon the two were arriving at the school grounds. With a sudden flash of deja vu, Ron realized something. The school, walking with Kim and everything, everything except Ruf-fus that is, was done before. Like being stuck in a time loop, a twilight zone, they shouldn't be here, they should be, in, in college!

"Kim, do you have a feeling we've already graduated from school? I mean, I had a dream last night. It wasn't a long dream, like a TV movie. No wait, more like a two-part episode. There were these two big green aliens. I mean these guys were bigger than Barkin! Shego was on our side and Drakken; Drakken was a pansy..."

"Ron, you know I don't approve of calling people names!"

"No, Kim. Not a pansy, but a pansy. I mean he had yellow pedals..."

"Petals."

"Yea, growing around his head. And he had vines, oh those guys were strong! And he could control plants that he created out of this goo he created..."

"Ron, relax. It just another year with us going to school."

"But it seems we've been going to be our fifth year going to high school. I mean if it was Brick Flagg or in my case, well I'd say the odds are like, certain. But you? I mean you're Kim Possible, taking five years to finish high school? That's like saying **I'm** **going to save the world! I'm the hero!**"

"Ron, just consider we got another season, go in and start another day at school."

"See that's just, that's just not right. It's like we're in Agony County."

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Ron and Kim are in English Lit with Barkin subbing, once again.

"Ah, I know there are cutbacks in school but, come on! Is this the only guy who can sub for us?"

"Ron, shush."

"I mean, didn't we have a Ms. Go one time? I mean she seemed nice..."

"Listen up people. Ms. Marple will be out for the next two weeks," The big man in the brown sport jacket announced. "Seems work was being done at her home and she was hurt by a dangling participle. So, I will be taking over for the time being."

The class was going alone fine with the different students interacting with the lesson and learning a few other things as well.

"...Yes, that's right Ms. Rockweller, Rome wasn't built in a day. Alright people," Barkin continued, "I'm going to expect a 5000 word report on alliteration due by this Friday." This announcement resulted in moans and groans from the class. Ron was whispering a plan to get back at Barkin for this, something with hall monitor reports. But Kim sternly told him, "That's not going to happen." Then she reminded him once again about the cheerleading regionals coming up.

After the class was over, Ron and Kim went to their lockers, getting their books for the next class and also planning to check in on Wade. Suddenly Barkin's voice was coming out of the school's PA system. "Alright, people listen up! Today I am declaring tomorrow a Freedom of Expression Day... Wear a T-shirt that expresses your true feelings toward anything. The language has to be G-rated, please. Also no innuendos towards PDAs."

Before the best friends since preschool could go to their next class, Mr. Barkin, looking like a raging bull, came charging down the hall looking for a certain blond teenager. Finding his target, he shouted "Stoppable, my office. NOW!"


	2. Chapter 2

Ron dutifully followed the man he felt had been out to get him since ninth grade. (Wouldn't that be four years ago?) When they reached Vice Principal Barkin's office, he pointed to the chair Ron was to sit in, then the man took his own seat.

"Stoppable, would you care to explain this?" inquired Mr. Barkin, pointing to the package on his desk.

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you are asking," Ron responded.

"Response number 27 may get you by in the classroom, but not here," Barkin replied.

"Really, I don't know what this is about. All of my work due has been handed in, I have not been tardy for two weeks for any class. Two weeks! Honestly, I don't know why I was called here."

"Just look in the box, Stoppable, and tell me what you see?"

Ron came over to the desk and lifted the box lid. There inside was Ruf-fus , looking like he was ready for a fight. "Let me at 'em! **Let me at 'em!**" Ron quickly closed it waited a few seconds and opened it again. "... **Ta ta ta dah da dah!** **Mole Rat Muscle!**" Finally closing it for the last time.

"Okay..." Ron was beginning to feel a part of a very bad scrip, a script he didn't deserve to be in. Perhaps it was a dream? But whose dream?

"This creature was caught near the PA system by Principal Rules' office, when the 'Freedom of Expression Day' was announced," the vice-principal explained.

"Mr. Barkin, I still don't understand," the teenager responded with a questioning look, hoping to get out of any trouble that was coming his way.

The man continued, "Well the problem is, there is no 'Freedom of Expression Day.' Principal Rules and I were having a conversation in his office, while the announcement was being made." He was looking more aggravated as the conversation wore on. "You think I'm upset? That man acted like someone spit in his corn flakes this morning."

"But kids in this school have seen many teachers use the school's phones to make announcements over the PA system," said Ron defending himself. "Any other student could have done it. I mean, have you heard some of the impressions of you out there? I mean there is one guy when he..."

"Stoppable... focus?" interrupted the vice-principal.

"Ah, I mean, how could you be sure this was the one?"

"Fear," replied Barkin.

"Fear?" the blond teenager replied. The one thing he knew very well was fear. Whether it was the bullies in hall D, using his mad running away skills distracting the henchmen or even taking an algebra test, fear was something that stayed close to this young man. However, somehow he didn't see where it fit in this confrontation with the former military man.

"Fear, Stoppable, fear." The man got up out of his chair and came around the desk. Getting in the troubled teen's, or one who was about to be, face and gritted his teeth, "Impersonating a faculty member among friends is one thing, but doing it over the PA, where it can be traced... is just sophomoric."

"You think one of them did it?"

"Who?"

"The sophomores."

"NO!" shouted Barkin. Turning away, while pinching the bridge of his nose, he continued, "One of the admins watched him do it! He was caught red-handed."

"So, why do you think I have something to do with this?"

"Everyone knows you bring that little 'friend' of yours to school," Barkin replied. "So, you..."

Ron reached into his pocket and held up Rufus. "Sorry, Mr. B, but this is the 'little friend' you're referring to. I don't know what makes you think I had anything to do with this. I have to get to my next class so..."

"Uncle Rufus, get me out of this!" came an unwanted plea from the box.

"Well, I guess the problem answered itself," the vice-principal interjected. "Everyone knows your little friend's name, a very unique one as well."

"Man, this tanks. Would it make a difference to say, that I just got him this weekend from my Grandpa Joe and didn't know he was going to do this?"

"Your Grandpa Joe? Wait, wasn't he one who sent the, the," Barkin shivered as he said it, "the case of sparkling water?"

"Ah, yes."

"It was bad enough with the BBQ-peanut-butter flavored sparking water, but poor Ms Rockweller."

"Ya, but she did look as cute as a Japanese kewpie doll."

Ron couldn't believe it. Was Barkin cracking a grin on his face? Maybe he would be able to pull himself out of this mess. But soon all hope was lost when the man got control, shook his head.

"Stoppable, someone has to do detention. If this action would go unpunished, then another one would think they could do it, and then another, and do you know what would happen next?" inquired the ex-Marine.

"Ah, the students would feel more open to express themselves and their spirits would soar?"

"No, Mr Stoppable," The big man grabbed Ron by the shoulders. "The respect for the faculty would diminish."

"No! That would be like playing for the Chicago Cubs!"

"Exactly. So, even though you are an innocent bystander, someone has to do detention. We have to make the punishment large enough to prevent further enticement. Two weeks of detention, but the work done during that time will go toward extra credit needed in your classes."

"But, what about football and being the school mascot?" he asked. _"Football? Where did that come from?"_

"Football? What are you talking about, you're not on the football team? On being the mascot, you will be suspended from any of those activities for the first week," came the ruling from Vice Principal Barkin. He knew things like this had to be stopped and stopped hard.

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The rest of the day did go better for Ron, even though the thought of two weeks of detention didn't give him the best of spirits. Finally on the way to Bueno Nacho, with Monique and Felix in tow, Ron had a chance to talk to the gang about the sitch.

"Man, this just tanks. I mean, I didn't tell Ruf-fus to do this, I didn't give him the idea, all I said was ..."

"Ron, I warned you about this. You don't know what Ruf-fus will do until you get to know him better," Kim said, trying to comfort Ron.

BEEP-BEEP-BE-DEP!

Knowing it was the Kimmunicator, Kim pulled the unit out of her pocket and asked, "What's the sitch, Wade?"

The tech whiz preteen responded, "It looks like someone has taken the Pandimensional Vortex Inducer."

"Ah MAN!" Ron shouted. "When are they going to have some real security for that thing? How many times have we had to recover it?"

"Let's not worry about that, Ron," Kim replied and then tried to continue her conversation with Wade, but was interrupted by Ron.

"I mean is this the fifth or sixth time?"

"Ron! How many times it has been stolen is not important." Kim snapped, then mumbled, "Besides, I've lost count too." Turning back to the little blue device in her hand. "Wade, do we have a ride set up?"

"All set up. GJ will be out front in 15. They have the coordinates and all the info."

"Mind if we tag along?" Felix asked. "I mean you could have a mystery on your hands."

"Sure, it might be fun," replied Kim. "But it we run into really bad guys, stay low and let Ron and me handle it." Monique and Felix understood and acknowledged by shaking their heads.

"Wade?" asked Ron. "Do you have any audio recordings of the bad guys we've gone up against? Sort of a 'Villains' Files'?"

"Well, yea, I can dig something up. Why do you want them?" The tech genius was puzzled.

"Oh, just a little Jack in the hole, that I'm working on," Ron replied with a grin.

"Ron, that's Ace up the sleeve, Ace up the sleeve," Kim corrected him.


End file.

Kim Possible, Humor, Parody