Naruto Shino: Pest Control

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Title: Shino--Pest Control

Author: The Kunai

One-Shot

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Aburame Shino was of the lesser-known clans, which were preferably kept lesser known by the notorious ability of his line to control bugs that lived _inside_ their bodies. Last polls checked, most people generally disliked the neighboring insect population--particularly the populations that were made up of black horse-fly sized beetles who made an unsettling buzzing noise and ate through an opponent's chakra like Naruto inhaled his ramen. Shino's own appearance was also universally regarded by Konoha natives as "mildly creepy", for what else could you say about someone that dressed in what looked like fifteen layers of clothing during a ninety-five degree humid _hell _and didn't even so much as twitch? Only his team mates and those who had the misfortune of being pounded into a pulp by him could get to know anything more than just his name, age, and bloodline.

Everyone else ignored him, and that was quite fine by the bug-manipulator. His favorite hobbies often included the "solitary" factor anyway.

That was, until one ordinary day when he helped his sensei, Kurenai, deal with a whole paper wasp colony that had decided to roost near her home. He had overheard her complaining to an apathetic Kakashi-sensei and, being the nice guy at heart that he was, offered his talents so she wouldn't have to spend money on expensive exterminators and painful pesticides. Needless to say it had been a huge success; the wasps had understood his intent clearly and, within a couple of hours, left for better lands. In hindsight, he should have thought of the consequences, remembered that, despite appearances, Kurenai-sensei liked to spread news as much as the giddiest of genin. It wasn't like she had intended for anything harmful to happen, but before he knew it people started to turn their heads in this direction and point and mutter.

This. Guy. Was. Useful.

That fateful afternoon became the undoing of his "free time", time he could have spent training, reading, or something a little more productive than being a cheap and moral solution to an infestation. Shino asked himself why he didn't simply refuse--a normally strong willed person like himself should be able to say a simple no, right? But whenever he got a call for help he remembered the reason.

"Oh, please help! I've got roaches!"

"Hello, is this Aburame Shino? I'm calling about a bad case of termites…"

"EEK! SHINO! Like, I've got this weird silver thingy with a billion legs crawling about on my floor and I need to get rid of it, but I don't wanna touch it and crushing it won't help because it's on carpet!"

(At this one he shivered a little, imagining the pain of the poor little house centipede and grateful that Ino had decided to hold back)

"Oi, Shino! Couldja help me with fleas? Akamaru is spreading them to all of us…"

He was too damn nice to his friends and associates.

Not more than a week passed before he was stared at with some admiration as he did normal tasks like grocery shopping; everyone started calling him the 'Local Pest Control' for his ability to convince insects to leave the home permanently. Not more than another week went by before he had his own full-blown business (on top of his normal missions) with family members assisting him. By the time a month and a half went by, Hinata noticed that Shino was displaying a couple of nervous tics a lot more often--little things like nose-twitching, glasses-adjusting, and sleeve-pulling.

Poor Mr. Aburame. Kurenai and her big mouth and his damnable soft-spots started this whole mess. Other people only saw the placid chuunin on the surface, but beneath he was feeling a little frustrated and it was starting to affect the behavior of his symbiotic swarm. Soon, he had to stop this…but by this time, his family had begun to encourage him to keep this up. His family's opinions were opinions he held in very high regard.

What was he going to do?

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"Oi!"

He froze at the harsh, blunt tone, not quite recognizing it, tensing up in the event that he would have to defend himself. Just as instinctively his bugs received information in the form of chemicals, relayed it to his brain, and reassured him that it was someone familiar with good intentions. Shino finally loosened up and put the lettuce in his bag for tomorrow's lunch. Paying the shopkeeper the correct amount, he moved out from under the shade of the stand, then turned and actually looked at who had addressed him.

No wonder his scouts had muttered something along the lines of familiar. The bugs still remembered his scent all the way from three or so years ago, when they had fought once or twice. The signature costume was also rather unmistakable even if it had been modified slightly since he first met the sand-nin: a large black suit concealing the body of a hunky 16-year-old puppet-user, who was staring right back with dark-green eyes set on a painted white face. He waved somewhat, "kitty ear" folds in the hood flopping backward in the wind.

The Aburame nodded in return, not feeling inclined to speak as usual. At this, Kankuro approached and cleared his throat.

"…hi."

"…hi."

Identical responses.

"…nice outfit."

"Thank you."

Shino had his share of uncomfortable conversations and pauses before, but nothing like this. It was vexing him a little, "…what do you want?"

"…Shino…" Kankuro cleared his throat again, feeling even more awkward now, "I have a bug problem…heard you were the 'pest controller' around here…"

Of course. It boiled down to his new job that he didn't even intend to start--and this time, Shino imagined the potential chaotic path of his reputation spanning whole countries before him. It was completely irrational in normal situations, but then again it hadn't crossed his mind at the time that Kurenai would suddenly make him one of the most popular people in the village. This time around, he wouldn't take any chances. He had to stop this silliness now.

The eyebrows that were visible between the headband and the glasses that he wore twitched in the most subtle way.

"…if it's something you can solve yourself, then I would recommend—"

"No really! It's really serious—Hey! Twerp, don't leave!"

Kankuro ran after the cloaked-nin, black jumpsuit and all, and caught up with him rather easily. Shino refused to acknowledge his presence until they had both walked up a long street of Konoha, where there was no other option except to accept that the puppeteer was going to be stubborn as a zit.

"Alright. What is it?"

An annoying, victorious smirk edged out on the corners of Kankuro's painted mouth for a few seconds, "There's a hotel that I'm staying at, and they had an ant problem for a few days. Though they've evacuated the bugs—" The puppeteer saw Shino lean forward slightly with eyebrows displaying irritation and anger. He hurried up his sentence speed, "—and stuff like that…ehm…I'm still itchy…so…do you have anything that'll help with the ant bites?"

…that's all it was? Kankuro could have done it himself. Had he not heard of such a thing as a _hospital_? The Aburame was about to walk away disgusted muttering something about 'I'm a shinobi, not a pharmacist' when Kankuro quickly backed it up with, "Wait, wait, waiiiit! I…think they're special ants, because Sakura tried helping me out already and it just made it worse…or maybe my skin's sensitive or something."

"…" He considered it, stopping again, "…Fine. Alright. I'll consult my sister and see if she can make anything specific."

The puppet user broke out into a small smile.

"Oh phew…thank you thank you…I thought my butt was going to explode."

Butt?

He had to be--

The moment he saw Kankuro start scratching furiously at the irritated spot, Shino used the Body Flicker technique to get the hell out of there. Oh, that was the absolute last straw. It was time to have an overdue talk with his parents stating one resounding theme:

Hell. No.


End file.

Naruto