Glee 1. Dancing With Myself

**Summary: Julian contemplates his love for Logan.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Dancing With Myself<strong>

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><p>Julian let himself fall in his bed, not bothering to shower, not even bothering to change. When he normally would've fallen asleep within seconds—he now found himself pathetically reduced to staring at the ceiling with wide, brown, listless eyes.<p>

His thoughts were numerous, all-consuming, running rampant in his already overwhelmed mind. All were different, and all were screaming for attention—twirling around, trying to sneak up on him and steal a dance with his attention.

Many thoughts were about concerns he _should_ think about. His new movie for example, the one he'd accepted mere weeks ago, and with that came skulking along—eternally walking hand in hand—always, _always_ the lingering fear of his now progressively threatening stalker.

But there was just one thought he didn't want to think about and yet—there was nothing he could do to prevent his mind taking that resented turn, taking that wrathful, _hurtful_ road. He couldn't say he really, _really_ tried, though... because secretly he enjoyed it—despite the stabbing pain it caused. He actually liked to dance with that thought, to let it wander through his mind.

To memorize how shining green eyes looked into his brown ones today.

To remember his soft, determent voice, whispering in his ear in a conspiratorial tone.

To remind himself of the strong hand that had gripped his arm that afternoon, and how that had made butterflies _leap_up—all the way from his stomach to his heart...

Logan—always, _always..._Logan.

Julian curled up, his sheets getting tangled up around his legs, making his position uncomfortable yet exactly right. He let a sob escape, closing his warm brown eyes, his eyelids pushing the burning tears down his cheeks. His heart clenched painfully as they slowly crawled over his lips, leaving a stinging salty track behind. The betrayal tears... because wasn't it all for nothing anyway...?

Because however much he wished for those happenings to be personal—to be of _any_ meaning at all—he very well knew they weren't.

Logan had just locked eyes to demand his attention.

Logan had just whispered absolute nonsense in his ear to annoy Derek, who'd been sitting at the table, chagrined for being left out of the conversation.

Logan had just touched his arm so he could tow him along to show him something Julian didn't even remember anymore.

Logan didn't look at the actor the way Julian looked at the singer. The tall blonde's heart didn't flutter the way Julian's did as he whispered soft words in his ear. And Logan's stomach didn't tighten that painfully when Julian touched his arm in such a casual manner.

Logan didn't know about any of these feelings.

And Logan didn't care.

Logan would _never_ care.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. Rain On My Parade

**Summary: Julian and Logan smut. They're together and enjoying each other.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Rain On My Parade<strong>

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><p>While the day started out quite nicely—with a beautiful sapphire sky, bearing only a few fluffs of white—the clouds now wore a miserable grey color, darkening the day even though it was only 1 pm. The Dalton students were safely hidden away in their respective rooms, some of them taking the time to study for their upcoming tests, most of them looking out of the window with chagrined expressions, pissed that their excuse not to study had been taken from them.<p>

Water was pouring out of the dreary dark sky like there was no tomorrow, soaking everything and everyone in its path. The curtain of rain was so thick, not a single soul could see more than a five feet away.

The rain was so heavy—nobody could see the lost couple in the middle of the great grass fields that stretched out over the Dalton grounds.

What had started out as an innocent picnic in the gentle, torpid sun—the two boys had picked up their books that morning and noticing the clear sky, had decided to study outside, together—had turned into a complete and utter fiasco.

At first, it had been funny—when the first raindrops had started to fall and the sky had still been relatively blue.

Logan had held up his hand, muttering a surprised curse at the unexpected wetness, as Julian had peered up at the sky doubtfully, his hands shielding his book against the water. Reasoning that the soft drizzle would fly over quickly and that the gentle breeze was actually quite nice, they hadn't moved from their spot. Julian had leaned back against the tree, sluggishly interrogating Logan about their History-assignment, and Logan had smirked and had answered every question correctly.

Then—weather decided to be bitchier, and the drizzle wasn't a drizzle anymore and the breeze wasn't a breeze anymore. It hadn't taken them very long to notice—with horrified and very pissed off expressions—that it was freaking _storming_.

In record time, the two boys had rolled their books in the blanket they'd used to sit on, protecting the stupid things from the rain—that now came pouring out of the sky in buckets.

"Just so you know—I blame _you _for this," Logan remarked as he sheltered his eyes to glare at his boyfriend.

Julian looked at him in surprise, brown eyes narrowing as he spat back, "What? If I remember correctly—_you_ didn't want to check the weather-channel...!"

Logan continued to glower at him for a few seconds, before his green gaze swiveled to their school building and back at Julian again, a small smirk painting his lips. The rain was making it difficult to see more than a few feet away, and he was certain the students in the Academy were experiencing the same problem if they'd try to peek outside.

And Julian looked ridiculously hot with the way his white button-up plastered against his skin, his muscles clearly visible and rolling seductively with every movement he made. His brown hair was an absolute mess, and Logan found this oddly adorable.

Julian watched Logan suspiciously as the tall blonde moved forward to him. His reaction to duck and step away was too slow as Logan wrapped the actor up in his arms and pulled him against his broad chest.

His lips brushing gingerly over Julian's ear, he whispered, "Nobody would know..."

Julian shivered in delight and laid a hand in Logan's neck. "And who'd care if they did…? I thought you weren't shy?" he smirked and he licked a raindrop from Logan's bottom lips.

Logan cradled Julian's face in his hands and—so tenderly, it hurt—bent down to press a soft, ginger kiss on the actor's lips.

Julian responded immediately, his body eagerly closing any distance with that of his boyfriend. _Boyfriend—_even after all those months, the word still made his heart leap impatiently, utterly and completely in love. After all the waiting he did—_three_ years, was it really _three years_?—he admired every kiss he got, treasuring every touch, every breath, every look.

But Julian would be wrong to think _his_ heart was the only one to make that leap of love—Logan's sped up rapidly, pupils dilating as he stared in the welcoming warmth that were Julian's eyes. _His_ Julian. _His_ warm, brown eyes. His delicious, wet, kissable lips...

Logan Wright never felt truly weak, but Julian managed to make him feel that bit stronger, he made him stand that bit taller. Jules knew exactly when to throw a joke when his mood took a nosedive—he knew exactly when to leave him alone when he desperately needed time to think... The primadonna warmed the Senator's son, and Logan had never felt that before—and it felt breathtakingly amazing.

Julian's hand tugged on the sleeve of Logan, water rushing out of the fabric where he squeezed it. They fell down on the soft, thoroughly drenched grass, their bodies making a slurping sound as the moist ground invited them warmly.

"We're going to be terribly sick tomorrow," Julian muttered, his voice mingling perfectly with the clattering of the ever-falling rain.

"We'll have an excuse to stay in bed all day, Jules," Logan replayed with an evil smirk. "You won't complain to _that_, will you?"

Julian grinned his signature Cheshire Cat grin, and shook his head—making raindrops flying everywhere—closing his brown eyes. "Wouldn't object to that, no."

"That's what I thought—" Logan snickered as he lowered his face to Julian's throat, sucking softly, his heart flying as he heard the actor moan.

Logan nuzzled his face in the hollow between Jules' shoulder and neck, his arms tightening around his boyfriend's waist.

Julian's lips—soft as velvet—skimmed the thin skin of Logan's jaw, his face falling in the blonde hair, his body curling up against the taller one.

"I love you."

A low chuckle that was barely audible over the pounding rain.

"I love you, too."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading— I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.<strong>


	3. Be My Painting

**Summary: Reed is trying to make sense of love. Poor guy probably doesn't even know _love doesn't make sense._ Ah well—the sweetheart is at least trying… **

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Be My Painting<strong>

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><p>It was 5.30 am and the torpid morning-sun was covering some of the bedrooms of the infamous Windsor House in a soft golden glow. In the middle of such a bedroom—amidst dozens of paintings scattered all over the floor—sat one exhausted artist. His roommate long but fled to his boyfriend, he'd had the room all for himself for the entire night. Fatigue was making his eyelids lose their battle with gravity, and he had to fight with everything he had to keep them open. Because he <em>had<em> to finish his paintings and—if he was being perfectly honest with himself—he desperately needed a distraction.

So he wouldn't think about Shane.

Both of Reed's cheeks had streaks of blue paint on them and his hair showed brightly colored traces of paint-smeared fingers that had been raked through them in barely concealed stress. He had paint up till his elbows, and he had long but lost his interest in the safe-keeping of his clothes—they were barely recognizable in their current state.

But he was almost finished... and he couldn't wait to go crash in his nice, warm bed after this entire night of sleepless working. His body had paid terribly—his back was hurting like hell, his shoulders were stiff and painful, his head was pouncing loudly, his fingers were sore, his knees were screaming with agony... but he couldn't let loose this sudden surge of inspiration... Just _one_ more painting—

—and then... bed? Sleep?

Reed pressed his lips together in frustration. He couldn't possible catch sleep with all these thoughts swirling through his head, thoughts about—about... Shane.

Of course. The quirky dancer had never quite left him alone—it only made sense for him to follow Reed in his thoughts now, even after Shane's interest in him had disappeared.

Gone... with the new arrival of—who was he anyway?

Micah.

Just another boy—Micah.

But Shane's face had said it all.

And if he'd somehow misread the face he knew best of all—the face that he'd painted so many times on so many sheets of paper—the expression of his best friend had confirmed his fears.

Micah wasn't just another boy.

His hand was shaky—had been shaky for hours—and he had to steady it with his other hand as he attacked the last part of his very last drawing.

As he made the very last stroke, his eyes raked over the painting, their brown depths filling up with tears.

It was not fair.

It was _not_ fair.

_Just_ as he'd figured out—as he'd figured out—when he _knew_ he felt things for Shane. Just as he wanted to tell the tall boy that... _This_ had to happen.

It was not fair.

His fingers touched the painting, and with the paint still wet, they smeared the colors out over the paper. But Reed didn't care. He wanted those grey-green eyes blurred, he wanted those black, smooth curls unrecognizable. He wanted Shane to be this painting, so easily wiped out...

He wanted to forget it all so badly—

Closing his eyes, he let himself fall backwards, not caring if his clothes would get paint on them.

It was so confusing. How could love—something that was supposed to be _glorious_—be _this_ confusing?

He wanted to forget, but at the same time... he absolutely didn't.

Because how could he possibly forget how those grey-green eyes—the same as the ones he'd just blurred out—had looked at him like he was the only light in all dark? How could he forget how strong, slender arms had wrapped around him as he once again threatened to topple over? How could he forget that smile... that wonderful, brilliant, heartwarming smile, that always seemed to be there whenever Shane stole a peek at him?

And how could Reed forget how he felt the day the news broke Shane might be dead? That feeling of utter, thorough, _complete_ desolation, despair, anguish...? And how could he _ever_ forget how the elation and eternal relieve had rushed through him when Shane was kneeling next to him—bruised and bandaged, but gratefully alive and smiling—a look of absolute adoration adorning his face?

He pressed his hands to his face, raking them through his messy curls.

He could not forget that.

He would _never_ forget that.

The first streaks of tears ran over his cheeks—exhaustion, frustration and stress taking a heavy toll on the young artist.

And with the reluctance of a three-year-old, he finally caved—he should really go to bed now.

Releasing a frustrated sob, Reed managed to heave his drained body from the floor and after a few wobbly steps in the general direction of his bed—holding himself up by grabbing onto some furniture, since he found moving much harder than usual now—he tripped anyway, landing face-first into his bed.

He'd expected to fall asleep as soon as his face hit the pillow.

But instead he found himself drifting into a world of dazzling colors, and in the midst of all those different shades—Shane's smile laughed up at him, his low chuckles vibrating till his very bones.

Smiling, the small boy rolled over, hugging his pillow closer—allowing himself to imagine that maybe, _maybe_ Shane had come back to him. Allowing his mind to make up Shane's strong arms sneaking around his slender form, pressing the smaller boy against his broad chest, whispering romantic nonsense in his ear.

With a soft sigh, and Shane whispering in his mind—singing, dancing, laughing, hugging... _loving_ Shane—he drifted off into a deep, lingering sleep.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	4. Studying Sucks

**Summary: Julian _needs_ to study, but his stupid boyfriend Logan wants something else entirely.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Studying Sucks<strong>

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><p>"...Jules..."<p>

Julian sighed irritably as he leaned over his books, clasping his hands over his ears in a stubborn attempt to ignore his boyfriend. He _had_ to study. He _had_ to pass the upcoming tests. He didn't have _time_ for—

His breath hitched as Logan's lips touched his throat, and his eyes fluttered close—before he roughly shoved Logan off.

A low chuckle vibrated through Julian's very bones and Logan moved some books out of the way so he could sit beside him on the large bed.

"Why are you being so boring?"

Julian narrowed his eyes, but refused to give in and answer.

Logan huffed. "Fine. If you want it like that."

The next thing Julian knew, his book was swiped from his lap, and Logan demanded his attention with his hot breath on his throat and his wet tongue running circles over his skin. Julian was instantly distracted from his work, his heart thumping loudly when the soft lips gingerly sucked on the thin skin of his throat.

A warm hand was trailing down his chest, over his abdomen, dangerously low against the waist of his jeans. Julian thrust his head back and Logan smirked as he started kissing his collarbone.

Julian squirmed under the heated touch, rolling them over, the actor on top as he brushed his lips over Logan's lips. Logan's hand moved over the bed—and with a thud the heavy book Julian had been studying landed on the ground.

This was the wake-up call Julian needed. He snapped out of the steamy mood, eyes shooting fire at his boyfriend when he realized the blonde had tricked him into this. Logan smiled innocently, trying to keep him against his chest, his arms coming up to circle around the young actor's waist, but Julian wouldn't have any of it.

"_Logan_—go bother someone else," Julian snapped, pulling away from those delicious lips and snatching up his books from the ground. He shoved back against the wall with an angry scowl, eyes back on the tedious lectures.

Rolling his eyes, Logan sat back as well, his green eyes calculating as he studied his boyfriend.

"What are you even studying? We don't even _have_ any tests."

Julian looked up, hair disheveled and adorable from earlier, making Logan smirk. "Maybe I'm just _pretending_ to study so you'll leave me the hell _alone_, Wright."

Logan laughed. "And? Isn't it working?"

Julian clenched his jaw, his eyes raping the pages again, wanting to have this memorized as soon as possible.

"No, because _obviously_ you're way too annoying."

Grinning smugly, Logan leaned forward, raking his hand through brown locks, earning an exasperated glare from vicious brown eyes.

"Seriously, though—why are you studying?"

"I missed a test because I overslept—_get your hands off me_."

Logan ignored the warning happily, his lips soft as velvet as they whisked over Julian's skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Julian pulled back, nearly falling off the bed in his irritation.

"I swear to god, Lo. If you don't leave me alone _right now_—"

"Then what?" Logan questioned with a haughty and curious expression. "What are you going to do to me?"

Julian's eyes narrowed to slits, a catty grin spreading over his face, actually worrying Logan. "Two full weeks. No sex. No kissing. No touching. Nothing."

Logan's eyes widened slightly. "Well. I could always _help_ you study of course..."

"That's what I thought."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	5. Red Lights

**Summary: Cuddly Jogan.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Red Lights<strong>

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><p>It was cold in the room, and Julian was grateful for the welcoming warmth as he slid into his bed and next to Logan, curling up in his boyfriend's side. Immediately—an automatic reaction after all those months—Logan wrapped the actor up in his arms, guiding the brunet's head down to his chest.<p>

"I'm so fucking exhausted, it's not even funny," Julian sighed, his eyes closed, his breathing already deepening.

"At least you can sleep now," Logan murmured, pressing a soft kiss in the brown hair, still damp from his shower. He closed his eyes, ready to go to sleep—but opened one green eye when he realized something. Gently nudging Julian, he said, "You still have to do one thing, though..."

An irritated moan. "I'm too tired for sex, Lo. Forget it."

Logan chuckled, peering up at the ceiling. "No, it's not that. You forgot to turn off the light. Now—go and turn off the light."

Julian finally opened his eyes, glaring at him. "Hell no—_you _turn off the light."

"You were in last."

"If you think I'm going to get out of this bed—"

"Jules, get your lazy ass out of bed and turn off the light."

"No."

"Jules, _you _were the one that forgot."

"Well—I didn't hear you reminding me to do it."

Logan's finger tipped up Julian's face by his chin, and piercing green eyes drilled into stubborn brown. "Go turn off the light."

Julian scowled at him, poking out his tongue. "No."

Rolling his eyes, Logan let the brunet's face fall back in his chest. "God, you're so _childish_, poking out your tongue—you know what, whatever. If you're not going by yourself..." And with those words, he started to shove Julian out of the bed.

Startled, Julian grabbed Logan by his waist, clinging to him with all his tired powers. "No, Logan! Stop it! It's _cold_ on the ground!"

"Then you'll have to _stand up_, Jules. It's not that hard. And while you're at it—turn off the lights, will you?"

Warm brown eyes seethed as the young actor was nearly pushed off the edge. "Fuck, Lo. I'm _tired_—why won't you—"

Logan smirked. "Because it's cold outside this bed. And you were the last one in."

One arm already out of bed and collecting goosebumps, Julian desperately tried to move back under the warm blankets—only to be met by a solid wall of Logan. In a fit of sudden insight, he scrambled over his blonde boyfriend, rolling to the other side of him. "Leave me _alone_."

"Jesus Chri—_fine_."

"_Fine_."

It was quiet for a long moment—Logan crossing his arms and staring at the stupid light with an annoyed expression, and Julian with his back toward him, brown eyes closed in stubborn reluctance.

After a while, Julian's breath deepened out, indicating that he was close to falling asleep. Logan huffed, deeply annoyed, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. Then, his eyes flickered to the sleeping form besides him, their green depths twinkling with mischief.

And suddenly, strong arms lifted Julian from the mattress, rolling him over Logan's body, keeping him prison. Julian jumped violently, struggling for a few seconds to get free, but to no avail. When it was clear the jostling was over, he cursed vehemently.

Breathing heavily—heart still thumping loudly—Julian swatted Logan's chest. "_Goddamnit Logan!_ Why can't you let me sleep?"

"Turn. Off. The. Lights," was the calm answer, pink lips pulled up in barely concealed mirth.

Julian's eyes were shooting fire as he—still on top of Logan—snatched their blankets up and threw them over their heads, directly covering them in darkness.

"_Better_? Now—let me sleep."

The sheets were red, and with the light shining from outside, it threw a very odd glow over the two boys, snuggled up close together. Logan felt Julian lay his head down on his chest again, clearly not having any attention to move off of him.

Smiling, the singer ruffled the actor's hair affectionately, earning a small moan of pleasure. It was strange how the reddish glow made everything seem so much warmer... so much more luscious...

Logan nipped his lips over Julian's ear, but his boyfriend reacted with an elbow in his stomach.

"What did I say about sex, Lo," he mumbled, almost unintelligible.

But Logan didn't listen, and when his tongue flickered out and left a light, wet trail over Julian's throat—the actor rolled over, gazing up at him with unbelievably large, beautiful, brown eyes.

"Whatever Logan wants, Logan gets, isn't it?" he mumbled tiredly, and Logan nodded his head, green eyes sparkling in anticipation.

"Whatever then," Julian surrendered, lowering his head and shifting his hands to Logan's waistband.

Logan arched his back as Julian's mouth found the spot just below his bellybutton. He sighed in pleasure. "I'm glad you left the lights on, Jules..."

An indignant huff and suddenly teeth were biting in his side—making Logan groan, his eyes fluttering shut as a victory-grin played around his lips.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	6. Of Holy Water And Satin Sheets

**Summary: Dwight/Tweedles smut.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Of Holy Water And Satin Sheets<strong>

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><p>Two pairs of hands glided under his shirt, stroking his bare stomach, making his skin tingle in anticipation. Soft lips brushed against pale skin, and a hot shiver ran from the top of his head to the top of his toes. The somewhat lanky boy tipped his head back, not aware of his own low moan, his dark hair standing on ends due to the friction the satin sheets caused.<p>

The two boys caressing him grinned identical grins, glancing at each other from their peripheral vision, their smirks growing as they moved forward in unison. Two hands began to slowly unbutton Dwight's shirt, while the other pair was smoothly undoing the black jeans.

It took the twins no effort to slid the clothes off the other boy's lean body—and two pink tongues flicked out to lick moist lips as pale blue eyes took in the bare body of their friend.

"You're so thin, White Knight."

"Don't worry, though—"

"We'll take good care of you."

And while eyes—their brown irises so dark it almost seemed black—looked on in restless trust, the Tweedles dipped down, naturally taking control.

Still, paranoia was never far away from the Dwight's heart, and yet again—true to the magical number three—he had to check for the third and last time whether everything was right.

"Wait—"

One of the twins—it might be Evan—looked up. "What's wrong?"

Ethan frowned, sharing a quick look with his brother. "Did you forget something?"

Dwight stared at them with wide eyes, considering. His gaze flickered to his door—where the two boys had walked through his circle of salt without trouble. His eyes shifted to the cupboard next to his bed, where his faithful spray with holy water was lying. Both of the twins already had moist hair—a result of the first five minutes, where Dwight had stubbornly insisted on purifying them.

Swallowing, he met the patient stares of Evan and Ethan—their naked bodies so much bigger and stronger than his—who were hovering over his lean posture. Dwight nodded, and proceeded to smile shyly when large grins took over the cat-like faces of the twins.

The Tweedles' hands were blistering hot as they stroked his chest, big as they covered almost his entire body. Dwight couldn't resist to lay one hand on one twin each, his heart thudding loudly against his ribcage in excitement and slight stress.

Evan and Ethan ducked their heads synchronically, their feverous lips sucking and nibbling, their warm, wet tongues dancing over Dwight's pallid body in a choreographed dance.

Dwight moaned, couldn't resist to shove his hips to the two warm bodies, couldn't resist from digging his fingers in the satin sheets. Closing his eyes, he brought his hands up again, each grabbing a handful of blond hair, pulling them impossibly closer. He heard equal chuckles, and then—he felt a shockwave flowing through his body.

The wave quickly but steadily expanded to the point it got almost painful—but the expertly fingers of the Tweedles soon triggered the explosion... and... and...

Groaning loudly, Dwight threw his head in his neck, his hands going down the twin's chests, down the flat planes of their abdomen... all the way down...

His world exploded and a million stars burst in a zillion different colors in front of his half-closed eyelids. He saw the Tweedles' faces contorted in their own world-explosion—having done the satisfaction to each other.

After the most wonderful feeling in the world had faded—much and much too fast—the two identical brothers collapsed half on top of the smaller boy and Dwight closed his eyes, his body feeling boneless in its relaxation.

Four arms wound around his body, and he'd never felt this happy before, he'd never felt this _feeling _before... A small smile played across his lips as the Tweedles both laid their head on his chest, both of them grinning, both of their eyes sparkling in ecstasy.

Sighing, Dwight rose his hands, his untended nails absently drawing figures over the Tweedles' bare spines.

"Thank you," he eventually whispered, his voice hoarse.

Two pairs of twinkling blue eyes met and their ever-present smiles widened happily. Pulling the satin sheets tighter around their sweaty bodies, the twins nuzzled their faces in Dwight's chest, both nodding.

"You're welcome, little Knight."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	7. Time To Go

**Summary: Julian and Logan are having a fight.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Time To Go<strong>

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><p>Julian's door slammed open and bounced off the wall with a sickening crash, making the actor sitting on the bed jump violently and snap his head up at the loud sound.<p>

"What the hell, Logan?"

Green eyes were absolutely shooting fire as they glared down at the bewildered brunet. Julian's heart stuttered when he saw the utter loathing—the undeniable fiery—sparkling painfully obvious in them.

"Julian Larson, I'm so _done_ with all of _you_!"

Julian jerked his head back in surprise, his eyes widening. "What do you mean by _that_?"

Logan bristled. "You know _damn_ well what I mean by that! Don't think I'm stupid, you prick!"

Julian narrowed his eyes, his fingers digging into the paper of the script that was lying on his lap. "Wat the hell do you _mean_, Wright?"

Logan's fist slammed into the door, his eyes drilling into Julian's. "Don't think I don't notice how you're being a complete asshole to me—all the fucking time! How you're avoiding me, how you won't talk to me _every single day_."

The actor opened his mouth to snap a retort at the tall blond, but Logan continued his frustrated rant without any breaks.

"Has this something to do with your _secret love_, Julian? Because if it has, there's no fucking reason to take it out on _me_! To take it out on your fucking_friends_!"

Julian's brown eyes were smoldering with a foreign heat—a heat that Logan would never understand. He pressed his lips together and cast his eyes down to his script—refusing to answer, refusing to even _hear_. His fingers clenched his script painfully tight, his eyes blindly staring at the tiny words. _Maybe it was time to leave again._

"Get out, Logan."

"What? _No_, I want to hear your explanation!"

"Logan. Get_ out._ Now," the brunet clipped, not looking up.

But the blond singer just crossed his arms over his chest, and continued to glare viciously at his friend.

"Well, Julian? Has it something to with your secret crush? Because if you continue taking it out on me like this, you might as well fucking tell me! I think I have a right to now, don't you?"

This made the actor snap his eyes to Logan's, his expression absolutely livid. His gaze was ice-cold, and his voice was razor-sharp as he answered Logan's question vehemently.

"_No_, Logan. You know what? I _don't_ think you have a right to know, and I don't think I'll _ever_ tell you. Now get the _fuck_ out of my _room_!"

"God, Larson! You're so fucking selfish!"

Julian didn't answer, instead his eyes swiveled back to the heap of papers on his lap, forcefully trying to ignore Logan and his hurtful comments.

"You know what, Julian? If you keep up this behavior, your secret crush will_never _love you back!"

And with those venomous words, Logan wheeled around and stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut with a deafening crash.

The silence that arose was almost worse than the actual fight, because all the insults and the hurt Logan had thrown at the young actor came back in full force.

Julian's wide, startled eyes were gathering tears in the corners, their brown depths speaking of a never-ending, unfathomable heartbreak and a longing so profound it cut bottomlessly deep.

Pressing his lips together and doing whatever he could to _not_ let those traitorous tears escape, his eyes found his script again, his mind whirling around in a chaotic stream of anxious thoughts.

_It was definitely time to leave._

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.** _  
><em>


	8. Kissable

**Summary: Logan and Julian fluff.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Kissable<strong>

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><p>Logan's eyes were narrowed in confusion, his arms crossed as he leaned back against the wall. In the middle of his room, Julian was gesturing wildly, pacing around anxiously, his face contorted in absolute horror as he pointed to his throat and shook his head.<p>

"So... you're telling me—" Logan snorted, and bit his lip, correcting himself, "—_trying_ to tell me—that you lost your voice?"

Julian nodded, eyes huge and hair disheveled in his complete distress.

Logan looked him up and down, a sly smile playing with his lips. "And what do you want _me_ to do about it?"

The actor threw his arms up, looking around frantically and leaping to the first pencil and notebook he spotted. He furiously scribbled something down and then proceeded to shove the paper in Logan's face.

Logan blinked, laughing when he saw what was written on it.

_Anything! Do something! I CAN'T have no voice!_

"How _did_ you lose your voice, anyway?" Logan then widened his eyes in mock wonder, tapping his chin with his finger. "Oh, _I_ think I know," his green eyes focused on the silently bristling brunet. "I think it happened when you were sick and walked outside in the rain _without_ a coat nevertheless!" He nodded, his face quasi-serious. "Yes. That was not such a smart thing to do, wasn't it, Jules?"

Julian made a rude hand-gesture, making Logan scoff. "Right. You're so much less intimidating without sound—not that you ever were intimidating." Grinning, he watched as Julian ripped another paper from the notebook, face absolutely furious.

_Do something. NOW!_

Logan swatted the note out of his face, looking deeply amused. "Seriously, Jules. I could take you to a doctor, but that's about it. I can't help you this time."

_What do you mean by 'this time'. When have you ever helped me?_

Logan frowned. "I've helped you plenty of times."

Julian cocked an eyebrow, holding out another note, his usually neat calligraphy having morphed into a horrific, hastily-written scrawl.

_Right. I don't even care. Just CURE ME._

Rolling his eyes, Logan grabbed Julian by his elbow, making the actor drop his notebook and pencil.

"Then we're going to the doctor—" He glanced over his shoulder as Julian refused to move, his eyes larger than ever.

"What _now_, Julian?"

The brunet just shook his head, striking his finger over his throat.

"Yes. I know your voice doesn't work—it's the reason why it's so peacefully quiet around here."

Julian jerked his arm back from Logan's hand, throwing his arms up in frustration and snatched his notebook and pencil from the ground, jotting something on it.

_I'm NOT going to the doctor. _

Logan rolled his eyes, huffing in annoyance. "Jules, don't be such a pest. You need your voice. You need the doctor to get your voice. So we're going to see the doctor. Simple as that."

But Julian pressed his lips together and shook his head stubbornly. Logan narrowed his eyes, getting pissed now.

"What do you want me to do then? _Kiss _your damn voice?"

Julian's eyes widened at this suggestion and he nodded eagerly, tipping his head back to expose his sore throat.

Logan smirked. "I think you're just pretending this to get a kiss out of me." At this, he got another note thrown in his face.

_Please. Like you wouldn't kiss me in any other situation. I'm totally kissable._

Snorting, Logan pulled Julian close, his lips feather-light on his skin. The actor shivered in anticipation, pressing his body against Logan's as he suddenly felt a tongue running circles over his throat.

Logan's voice was hoarse as he whispered in Julian's ear. "You're right though. You _are_ totally kissable, you stuck-up primadonna."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**

**Also, if you like my writing, you should check out my Tumblr (link on profile) for more drabbles :)**


	9. Are You Scared?

**Summary: Reed and Shane are watching a horror movie and Reed gets a bit scared.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Are You Scared?<strong>

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><p>"Why am I watching this, why am I watching this, why am I watching this—"<p>

Shane tore his eyes from the movie they were watching, and looked down on the smaller boy curled in his side. "…Reed? Are you…okay?"

"…Yes. Why would you think I—" a blood-curling scream echoed from the television, and Reed buried his face in Shane's chest. "Omigosh, omigosh—_why am I watching this_…?"

"Are you…" Shane smirked down on his boyfriend, his expression amused even though his arms snaked around the artist, holding him close to his body. "Are you _afraid_?"

"…No."

There were more disturbing sounds coming from the movie, and Shane was positive he felt Reed shivering.

"I could turn it off, you know," he said smiling, burying his face in the strawberry-blond curls. "We could watch something else."

"No, you wanted to watch…_this_. You go ahead." Reed's voice was muffled, fingers digging into Shane's shirt.

"Okay…" Shane's eyes flickered back to the screen, but his attention was long but lost. Gazing back at the utterly terrified boy—who was clinging to him for dear life—his eyes softened.

"Reed? You want me to get you something?"

"_No_—stay right where you are!"

"I'll be real quick."

"Please stay with me…"

"Oh wow. This is actually getting ridiculous—I'll turn off the movie."

"No! You wanted to watch this god-awful thing—you'll watch it. How long do we have?"

"Half an hour."

"Omigosh… _half an hour_?"

Shane laughed out loud now, his fingers lifting Reed's face by his chin, his clear eyes boring into huge brown one's. "Reed… I'm not even following the story anymore—"

"Story?" Reed choked out, hair standing on ends, cheeks flushed—looking absolutely adorable. "There's a _story_?"

Shane bit his lip, trying to hide his laughter. "Actually there is…"

Reed's eyes grew impossibly larger as he exhaled in disbelief. "Huh… Completely missed that…"

"Well—you _were_ hiding in my clothes the entire time…" Shane chuckled, his fingers raking through Reed's hair. He embraced the smaller boy, shifting him so Reed was completely on top of the him now—safely tucked away from anything evil.

The young artist blushed, eyes downcast as he fiddled with Shane's shirt. "It's a stupid movie." He actually pouted at this, and he looked so utterly cute—Shane couldn't resist pressing his lips on that pout.

Reed's eyes widened and he looked up at Shane with sparkling eyes.

"Well," Shane leaned back. "Look who's not scared any—"

Just then, a chorus of horrendous, torturous screams filled the room, along with terrifying, slashing sounds. Both boys jumped violently, embracing each other tightly, gasping for breath, hearts going a mile a minute.

Reed's eyes were once again horrified, and he turned to look at Shane—who looked surprisingly pale all of a sudden. The small artist daintily poked out his tongue, pricking a finger in his boyfriend's chest.

"I told you this movie is stupid."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong> I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	10. Sentimental

**Summary: Logan and Julian are watching 'Tangled', and things get a little... emotional :3**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Sentimental<strong>

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><p>Logan and Julian were in the actor's bedroom, snuggled close together, the flickering lights of the television the only source of light in the darkness.<p>

The two boys had a free day, and in lack of something to do they'd decided to watch a movie together. Next they had realized they'd already watched their entire collection, except for one movie... and that was the reason why _Tangled_ was now playing—Rapunzel currently singing a song with a sparkling voice.

And where they'd been nonchalantly lounging against each other in the first place, sporadically snorting or commenting on the girlie movie—they shot right up when Eugene was dying, their bodies leaning toward the television, hands clenched tightly together, arms embracing the other firmly.

In the middle of the dramatic scene, the tall blond suddenly heard a soft sniff and from his peripheral vision, he saw Julian wipe his eyes. Logan smirked, giving his boyfriend a gentle nudge.

"Are you _crying_, Jules?"

"...No."

Logan laughed, pulling the smaller boy closer. Julian curled up in the singer's side—his wide, watery eyes never leaving the screen where Eugene was just brought back to life.

Logan pressed a kiss on the brown locks, burying his nose in Julian's hair, green eyes gazing back at the television, but not really paying any attention. Julian's body shocked, an actual sob escaping his lips.

"Jeez, Jules," Logan muttered fondly—moving so Julian was now sitting comfortably between his legs, his head on Logan's chest. "I never thought you'd be so sentimental."

Julian mumbled an insult, his voice thick and muffled. "It's a _Disney_... I always cry when it's a Disney... _Goddamnit_—" He brought his hands up, rubbing furiously over his cheeks, where two waterfalls of tears were streaming freely.

But Logan grabbed his wrists quickly and pulled his hands away, kissing the top of Julian's head again. "You're adorable."

"Shut up, Lo."

"No... I love you and everything about you."

Julian sniffed, looking up with large eyes. Logan's heart fluttered as he saw the slightly flushed face of his lover, and his green eyes softened. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips over Julian's wet cheeks.

"You're my princess."

Julian scowled, but he was too emotional to really object to the stupid nickname.

Logan snorted, tipping Julian's head up, kissing his lips. In the background, the movie continued, showing the happily ever after.

"Ready for our own happily ever after...?" the blond asked playfully, tugging on a strand of brown hair.

Julian smiled weakly, tears still running down his cheeks, his brown eyes bright as stars as he nodded. And as the actor reached up, kissing Logan's throat with wet lips—he answered in a hoarse whisper.

"_Always_."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**

**Also, if you like my writing, you should check out my Tumblr (link on profile) for more drabbles :)**


	11. Somewhere Only We Know

**Summary: Julian and Logan are on a beautiful place, just for the two of them. Pure fluff.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Somewhere Only We Know<strong>

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><p>The sky was a deep sapphire blue and the sun was a dazzling diamond that shone down on the earth from its highest place of the day. The sunbeams touched down upon one particularly special place—a place where there was a beautiful green grass field, a little pearl-white beach, and a glimmering blue ocean that gurgled quietly against dark grey rocks.<p>

At first sight, it was an absolutely deserted place—except for the two towels spread out in the soft grass.

One of them was occupied by a dark-haired boy who was lying on his stomach, his head resting on his arms. He was sleeping soundly, his skin tanning under the sweltering sunshine. The blond owner of the other towel was floating languidly in the water, his eyes half-lidded as he slowly made his way to the white sandy shore.

Logan's feet touched the grey rocks and he heaved himself from the water, shining drops glinting of his body, his hair golden and sparkling like jewels in the sunlight. He stretched out—his arms high above his head, his back arching—and the muscles from his abdomen shifted smoothly with the movement.

The high grass tickled his bare calves as he stalked toward Julian and he flashed a white-toothed smile when he looked down on his snoozing boyfriend—green eyes filled with an undeniable and unfathomable love.

Dropping down, he landed just next to Julian, his hair sending droplets everywhere, his wet hands rubbing the actor's tanned skin affectionately.

Julian opened his brown eyes—still a bit blearily with sleep—and sent a glare at Logan.

"Go away! You're making me wet."

Logan smirked and his bright eyes twinkled mischievously as he toppled over and landed on the smaller boy, his arms circling around the actor's waist.

Julian yelped in shock as Logan's soaked body covered his and he desperately tried to shove the blond off. "Logan, Lo—_stop it_!"

Logan laughed and rolled them over, pulling the brunet on top of him. Julian's eyes softened and he pecked Logan tenderly on his lips, their noses brushing as their eyes locked. They stayed like that for a little while—quietly enjoying each other's touch and company, both relishing in the warm sun and the lazily wandering hands and lips.

Then, Julian spread his hands on Logan's chest, his eyes squinting as he looked towards the glimmering blue water.

"I'm going for a swim, Lo. You coming?" he turned around again, his eyes widening as he tried to convince his boyfriend to come.

But Logan shook his head, his eyes closing as he bent his arms behind his head. "I'm good here. You go."

Julian pouted, his arms winding around Logan's body, his chin resting on the blond's chest. "But I want to go with _you_."

Logan smirked. "While I understand that completely, I'm perfectly comfortable right here. We'll go together tomorrow. We'll be here the rest of the week anyway."

"But I want to swim with _you_ right _now_."

Logan opened one eye, grinning widely. "Love you too, Jules."

The actor huffed. "Fine."

Julian stood up haughtily and made his way to the water without looking back. Logan watched him leave, eyes following the slender posture of his boyfriend, his stomach clenching as the familiar butterflies leaped up again.

The actor vanished from sight as he disappeared behind one of the statuesque rocks and not long after, Logan heard the distinguished splash of water as Julian jumped in.

He closed his eyes and shifted a little, having every intention to lay down for the rest of the afternoon and to get a nice tan—but a repeating thought kept harassing him, keeping him from relaxing.

It wasn't even a thought, really. It was more... an image. A very visual image. While he didn't go with him, he couldn't help but see Julian swimming in front of his closed eyelids nevertheless.

Julian—_his_ Julian—lounging in the water, sunbeams pouring down on him, droplets of gleaming liquid sliding down his sleek skin, trickling all the way down to the V-formed shape just above the waist of his swimming trunks... The way his brown hair would be all messed up from where he'd ran his fingers trough the wet strands. The way his brown eyes would shine brightly in the tropical sun...

The way their bodies would feel all wet and heated and how they'd move their hands and fingers everywhere up and down, moving smoothly on their dripping skins. How their tongues would lick lips, tasting the other's unique fragrance—but also the salt from the ocean...

And without really being aware of it, Logan stood up and made his way to where he saw Julian last.

And there the brunet was—eyes closed, drifting on the waves unconcernedly, arms and legs slightly spread to keep floating. His head snapped up when Logan made a splashing sound as he got in the water too. Julian turned around, eyes twinkling, his lips pulled up in a smug grin.

"Oh, look who couldn't stay away from me," he commented. He ran his fingers through his wet locks—just as Logan had imagined—and his brown hair stood on ends when he looked up again.

Logan snorted—water up until his knees by now—trying not to stare at the gorgeous boy—_his_ gorgeous boy—not too far away from him. "Don't think I came here for you, Jules. I just wanted to cool down."

Julian cocked an eyebrow and reached under water. Before Logan could question his actions, something wet and heavy hit him square in the face, making him stumble and nearly fall over. He heard Julian's burst of laughter, and he pulled the thing off his face, his eyes large when he saw that he had his boyfriend's _swimming trunks_ in his hands. Which could only mean...

He gazed up slowly, watching Julian shrug casually and drift away from him.

"It's a good thing you didn't come here for me. Otherwise that," Julian gestured to his trunks with a barely concealed smile, "would be a total turn on for you. But... I guess we'll just keep with the boring old swimming, though..."

"Get the fuck here, Jules," Logan growled playfully, throwing the trunks away, working faster to get to the laughing actor.

Julian laughed louder, but when Logan dived under the water and disappeared from his sight, he stopped quickly and gazed around him suspiciously.

And although the ocean was as clear as glass, Julian yelped in surprise as Logan suddenly threw his arms around his body from under water and burst through the surface. The blond smirked at the startled expression of Julian and he brought his face closer to kiss him passionately.

Julian rolled his eyes and his hands went down to get Logan's trunks from his body, throwing the piece of clothing away without a care. Their naked bodies immediately touched with an uncontrollable urge, making their hearts drum loudly in their chests.

Their feet were just touching the bottom of the ocean, toes digging in the delicate sand, and the water burbled around their shoulders in a quiet, tender way—but the two boys were completely oblivious to their gorgeous surroundings, their eyes closed, their mouths locked in a long and intense kiss.

Their hands were tangled in the other's hair, pressing faces closer, forcing tongues to slid over teeth, skin, lips... Soft moans arose from their throats and they whirled around in the waves, hands roaming shamelessly over each other.

And suddenly—their balance was lost, their feet were loose from the sand, and the boys tumbled over with surprised gasps.

Logan and Julian slid under the surface soundlessly, and when they opened their eyes, they smiled widely at each other. They stretched their arms out, embracing each other, lips and bodies pressed together yet again—not caring where they were to express their love.

Bubbles escaped their mouths—the balls of air jittery fluttering to the surface—as they continued kissing breathlessly.

The couple was invisible to the world—just the two of them, all alone with their blooming and blossoming and breathtaking love. Existing on a place only they knew.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**

**Also, if you like my writing, you should check out my Tumblr (link on profile) for more drabbles :)**


	12. Staying Here

**Summary: Reed and Shane fluff.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Staying Here<strong>

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><p>"Are you done yet?"<p>

A giggle. "No, stay still."

Shane squirmed on his chair, grimacing. "Reed… can't you just take a picture of me and paint that? Staying still is harder than it looks like."

"Just a moment, Shane," Reed sung, dripping his brush in some paint.

Shane sighed in easy surrender, hanging his head a bit. Peeking from under his eyelashes he watched the small artist work on his painting—smiling as he noticed the tiny pink tongue poking out from between Reed's lips. The small boy had several streaks of paint on his face, clothes, hair…

"You look adorable, you know."

"Shh—stay still and don't move!" Reed admonished him—face lit up by a small, shy smile.

Shane smirked, leaning forward. "Oh please—you hardly look at me! I bet you could paint me without me sitting here right in front of you."

Reed blushed, shaking his head and giving the dark-haired boy a glare. "No, that's not true. It's better this way—trust me."

Rolling his eyes, Shane sat back again. "It's not that I don't trust you. I'm just questioning your wicked ways."

Now, Reed's cheeks were a furious red—because _yes, _he could paint Shane's portray by heart… It was just… He just _felt _so much happier when the taller boy was in his presence…

"Sit still, Shane," he reminded the other boy with a gentle voice, paintbrush back against his drawing. "Almost done. Promise."

After the young artist added his last stroke, he peered up to compare his work to the real thing—only to be met by an empty seat. His heart fluttered unexpectedly and he searched the room for the tall boy.

"Shane?" he squeaked, clutching his brush tightly, biting his lip anxiously. Would he just leave without saying goodbye? Of course not, he'd—

"Wow, that actually looks pretty awesome," a voice behind him suddenly spoke up.

With a startled yelp, Reed jumped up—nearly falling off his seat were it not for the two strong arms that caught him mid-fall.

"Sorry if I scared you," Shane said innocently, eyes twinkling mischievously, his smirk conveying he was not sorry at all.

Reed glared at him, straightening up carefully. He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly Shane's face was so close to his he could feel the dark curls graze his skin—and he stopped breathing.

"You have paint…there," Shane's grey-green eyes were huge as he tenderly removed some paint from Reed's cheek. His finger never left the artist's face, traveling down to pink lips, to the delicate skin of his throat…

Reed exhaled, huge brown eyes greedily drinking in Shane's face—Shane's beautiful, _gorgeous_ face. "Oh… Why don't you take it off then?"

Shane grinned, eyes twinkling. "I certainly will." And with that, his lips found Reed's—and the world stopped immediately.

Reed circled his arms around Shane's waist and happily gave in, leaning against the taller boy in complete trust.

"…Thank you for staying."

"Like I could stay away from _you_…"

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	13. Tears

**Summary: Julian and Logan. Depressing :(**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Tears<strong>

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><p>It was a decision made in a rash—based on a love that was so heartwarming it made his body react automatically. A decision made by emotions, rather than by reasoning. A decision that made the difference between wounded or not wounded. Shot or not shot.<p>

Life or death.

It was the ultimate sacrifice.

A life for a life.

But as Logan was gasping for breath, his eyes filling with tears, one hand clutched to his chest, the other clawing desperately in the air—he didn't think of any rational thought. He didn't feel any emotion.

He felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He had fallen... he'd completely disappeared in a black hole that went on for eternity and he could use every power that his tired body possessed—but he would never get out, he would _never_ escape this.

Because this... _this_... was not something you could run away from. This was not something you could hide from... and that realization struck him with a vicious force.

It was a small, muted thud—but in Logan's ears it sounded like the second gunshot as Julian slumped to the ground.

The blond's green eyes stared at his lover disbelieving, his head slowly shaking as if to deny this whole, entire happening. Somewhere in the background there was a horrifying, agonizing scream—and in one wild moment Logan thought it was his.

But then a _third_ gunshot echoed through the deserted building, and with a sickening crash Adam, too, fell on the floor—blood pouring out of the gap in his temple in huge waves.

Logan choked, turning around to stare with wide, absolutely terrified eyes to the fallen actor—_his_ fallen actor. _His_ best friend. _His_ boyfriend. _His_ lover. _His_... Julian… _Julian_.

_No no no no_...

He tried to move forward—but he... couldn't... he couldn't... _move_. A choking sob slid through his clenched teeth, his entire body shaking violently as he—torturously slowly—crawled forward, tears streaming over his cheeks, creating clear tracks on his dirty face.

When he came by Julian, he touched the actor gingerly—but when he grazed something sticky, he lifted his hand, his heart stuttering and falling as he watched the red liquid dripping from his fingers. His teeth clattered and his eyes fluttered close for just a second—before they opened again and focused on the boy on the floor.

"J-Jules...?" he whispered—his voice cracking, his vision hazy from all the tears.

Julian didn't open his eyes, his head lolling to the side when Logan gently rolled him over. No reaction at all.

"N-n..." Logan gasped for breath, his heart going a mile a minute, his stomach clenching painfully. "N-_no_..."

He leaned forward to gather Julian in his arms, pressing him against his chest, burying his nose in the brown locks. His embrace was tight—like that would keep the actor with him, like that would keep his boyfriend alive and _with him_.

A flutter of eyelids, a glimpse of brown—and Logan's hand went to his lover's face, caressing his cheek, pleading, begging, whispering...

"Julian? Jules...? _Please_..."

The brunet groaned and coughed—blood trickling from the corners of his mouth. He tried to smile—but the grin came nowhere near his usual Cheshire Cat smirk.

"L-Lo..."

"Shh... Don't talk, don't talk. The... ambulance and police will come soon... Remember? When I... when I called them?"

Julian pulled up a mouth corner, eyes drooping half close. "... I love you..."

Logan sobbed, pulling Julian impossibly closer.

_No._

_Please, please no. God, please..._

"You're going to be okay, you're going to be fine... You're—"

"L-love you..."

Logan bit his lip, green eyes searching brown. "... I love you too. I love you so_, so _much—"

Julian closed his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"No. Jules—stay with me. Jules? _Julian_. Stay with me, _stay with me_."

A lonely tear fell from his eyelashes on Julian's face, splashing on his cheek, listlessly crawling down till it stopped on his pale lips.

And Logan held his breath—because if he knew one thing from all those Disney-movies he watched together with his boyfriend... it was that tears were _good_. Tears healed. Tears made people come back to life. Tears were... tears were... tears...

Julian exhaled slowly, body slacking, head lolling backwards.

A vehement pain—a piercing, stabbing, slashing, slicing, _burning_ pain—made Logan double over, fingers digging into Julian's clothes, face buried in the hollow between Julian's neck and shoulder.

He started crying now, and his heart broke—absolutely broke into a million pieces—when realization crept in.

Tears weren't going to do _anything_ here.

Tears weren't going to bring_ anyone_ back from... from...

He choked—a horrible strangled sound—and he clung to Julian's body as if it was his last lifeline.

Julian would never come back from death.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	14. Sparkling You

**Summary: Julian and Logan having a good time skinny dipping. (Bit short)**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Sparkling You<strong>

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><p>"Come on then!" Julian whispered enthusiastically, his eyes shining brightly in the starlight.<p>

Logan grinned, zipping down his pants, tugging them off his legs and feet. He pulled his shirt over his head, throwing his clothes on the soft sand. "I really hope we're all alone out here…"

Julian smirked his Cheshire Cat grin, pulling on Logan's arm, already having yanked off his own clothes in wild excitement. "They say the ocean lights up at night—"

"God, Larson—you're insane." Chuckling, Logan shook his head—his hair an eerily silver in the moonlight—but followed Julian closely, their naked bodies touching every once in a while… leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Come on, come on," the actor's heart was thumping loudly in his chest, his thoughts wild and whirling through his mind—high with adrenaline. "I want to see the lights in the ocean…"

And suddenly there was a startled yell—and a hissed "_shh…_"—as Logan scooped up his boyfriend, running to the ocean, plopping both of them in the timid waves in a wild spectacle of water and… and…

Green lights.

Julian laughed, absolutely delighted, dipping his hands in the water, throwing them up again—bringing along sparkling, fluorescent green water drops. Logan snickered as he saw the bedazzled expression of the actor—not only lit up by the moon and the stars now, but also carrying a bizarre greenish glow.

He was beautiful.

Logan dragged his hand through the water, throwing green orbs to Julian. His boyfriend laughed, his eyes narrowing in mischief—and suddenly he leaped at the blond, throwing them both in the water with a loud splash.

They whirled around under the surface, green bubbles everywhere—surrounding them in their own special fairytale—and the two boys looked at each other. Despite the salty water, their eyes were huge, their cheeks blown up with air.

They smiled, reaching out to the other, their feet digging in the sand—and they jumped up. When they broke through the surface, they gasped for breath—arms embracing bodies, dragging the other closer and closer.

Julian rested his head on Logan's shoulder, as the blond buried his face in brown locks. They were surrounded by stars—above them in the sky, beneath them, reflected in the water. Small waves brushed against their bodies—leaving small trails of greenish lights.

"I told you it would be beautiful," Julian sighed cheekily—glancing up at Logan, smirking when he saw his green eyes roll in surrender. He reached up, kissing Logan on his lips. "Thanks for coming."

Their embrace tightened and the two boys sank in the water to their shoulders, supporting the other in a comfortable, trusting manner.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

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><p><strong>Trouble In Paradise (short drabble of the ending of their perfect night)<strong>

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><p>"<em>Shit—<em>where are our clothes?"

"Oh no, you're fucking kidding me."

"Where the hell did we throw them?"

"Don't ask me! This was your whole idea, anyway!"

"_Shut up, Lo!_ Fuck. Where are our clothes."

"Just standing there won't help a bit, Jules."

"You help searching then!"

"I… I think I see something white…"

"My shoes…?"

"I think so…"

"Oh, thank god—we're saved…"

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated, and they give me inspiration for more fics/drabbles.**

******Also, if you like my writing, you should check out my Tumblr (link on profile) for more drabbles :)** **  
><strong>


	15. My Broken Heart

**Summary: Logan and Julian angst.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>My Broken Heart<strong>

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><p>It was raining. The drops clattered loudly and violently on the window of his car, making any vision impossible, making driving impossible.<p>

Not that he could drive if he'd wanted to. Not in _this_ state of mind.

His car was still standing on the great parking lot of the hospital. Logan felt lonely in the growing darkness—the falling rain the only thing he could see and hear.

His green eyes were wide, staring at things only they could see. His hands were clenched around the wheel so tightly, the leather squeaked in protest. His whole body was rigid, his breaths fast and shallow.

His thoughts revolved around the recent news... but especially... _Julian_. Julian, who he'd have to tell the news to. Julian, who'd absolutely break hearing it. Julian... who was now shooting his latest movie and wouldn't be home tonight...

He couldn't be alone tonight.

A strangled sound escaped his throat, and suddenly he was searching through the contents of his bag—his phone nearly slipping from his fingers as he snatched it up. The number he dialed was so familiar, so imprinted in his mind, his fingers moved automatically.

It only went over twice.

"Hello?"

Logan's eyes fluttered close with the sound of the soothing voice, his heavy heart getting lighter, his breaths deepening.

"Lo? Are you there?" Julian sounded a bit annoyed now, clearly in a hurry. "Listen—I know you liked the phone-sex yesterday—" Logan could almost see him smirk, and his fingers clutched his phone tighter, wishing he was with the actor now. "—but I _really_ don't have any time now... Lo?"

Logan drew a deep breath. He had to tell him now. What... what was he even going to say? He couldn't—he couldn't just...

"Jules?" he hated the way his voice broke over the beloved nickname. He hated the way his voice cracked through the phone... he hated it because he knew it would worry Julian.

"Lo...? What's wrong?"

Swallowing, the singer leaned his head back against the headrest of his chair, one hand covering his eyes as he could feel the tears burn traitorously.

"I-I've been to the hospital..."

There was a moment of loaded silence, only ragged breaths echoing through the connection.

Julian exhaled loudly. "A-and?"

Logan's voice was almost non-existing when he answered, shaking his head in utter dread, even though Julian couldn't see him. "It's all wrong," he choked on the last word.

"Logan?" Julian sounded scared now, and Logan could imagine his wide, brown eyes.

"I need you, Jules."

"I-I'm here... Can you tell—"

"Can you please come home?" Logan didn't want to sound so desperate, but his body yearned to be with his boyfriend, his whole heart and soul shouting for the support of Julian, _needing_ his arms around him, needing to feel his embrace, to hear him say that _everything_ would be _alright_...

"I... Yes, I'm on my way," there was a rushing sound on the other side of the connection, indicating Julian's movement.

"I need you, Jules..."

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"N-no. I can drive."

"Okay..."

It was silent for a while—both of them wanting to be with each other, both of them frightened beyond words.

Then, Julian whispered. "Lo...?"

Logan bit his lip, preventing the sobs to escape. His voice was thick when he responded. "Yeah...?"

"I love you. What-whatever it is... we'll fight it together. We'll do this together. Okay? Just... come home safely, okay? I love you."

Logan closed his eyes, the first tears escaping. "Okay... I love you, too."

When the line disconnected, his phone slid from his fingers, and the singer doubled over, burying his face in his arms. Deep sobs rose from his chest, tearing from between his lips, his face scrunched up in an unbearable pain.

He stayed there for a while, alone with his pain, aware that this was the silence before the storm. Because when it came out—when he'd tell people... it would be out. And he would have to start his fight, he'd have to start his battle.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he turned the key and the car roared to life.

But he _needed_ to see Julian.

They would do this. They would fight this—together.

* * *

><p>Julian was the first one to come home and he was pacing anxiously through the living room, his head snapping around when he heard the front door opening.<p>

His heart sunk when Logan entered—looking lost, scared, absolutely devastated...

Julian rushed to his boyfriend and embraced him, not caring that the blond was soaking wet from the rain. They slowly slid down until they were sitting on the floor, Logan's head buried in the hollow between Julian's shoulder and neck, his sobs vibrating through the actor's bones.

Julian said nothing, just holding Logan against him, placing gentle kisses on his cheek, his throat, his wet hair—trying to comfort him with just his presence.

But then Logan spoke up, voice cracked and hoarse, grim emotions so clear in his words that it cut viciously in Julian's heart.

"It's... They say it's..." he swallowed, closed his eyes, whispering the dreaded word reluctantly. "_Cancer_..."

And Julian's entire world burst and splintered, falling into a thousand pieces—pieces they would never get glued together again. He made a strangled sound, fingers gripping into Logan's coat as the singer started crying, harder this time... pouring his whole broken heart into his sobs.

Suddenly, their dreams weren't sure anymore. Suddenly, their future wasn't secure anymore. It wasn't okay and beautiful now. There might not _be_ a happily ever after—something they'd been always so sure about.

"Logan," Julian whispered, tears escaping from his eyes, trickling down his cheek, falling into Logan's hair. "Lo... we're doing this. We're going to do this. And-and I'll be there with you—_every step of the way_," his lips brushed Logan's ear. "You hear me? We'll fight this. And we'll win this. Because goddamnit, you're _not_ going to... to... _lose_. Okay? Just... just... stay here with me. _Please_."

Logan sobbed, turning his head, pressing a wet kiss to Julian's throat. "I love you."

Julian turned cold, tightening his arms around his boyfriend—his _true love_—wanting to never let him go again, to keep him safe forever and ever. Because Logan was Julian's _heart_ and he couldn't _live_ without his heart, but now... it showed its first cracks... His heart was breaking and it _hurt_ and he felt so powerless—because with all of his undying, endless love... he could do _nothing_ to heal it again.

"What-what kind?" Julian needed to ask, needed to know _everything_. He laid his head on blond hair, smelling the familiar, comforting aroma that had been with him for six years—the smell that was pure Logan.

"Leukemia," Logan whispered, sounding detached and miles and miles away.

* * *

><p>Julian ordered pizza, but both couldn't even stand to look at food. He helped Logan undress, put him into bed, whispering words of love and support the entire time.<p>

"I'll always be there for you. You don't have to do this alone—you won't have to do _anything_ alone. I love you. I love you so, _so_ much. Try to sleep, Lo, I'll deal with it tomorrow. I'll call people for you, I'll make arrangements. You don't worry about anything, okay? Just try to sleep, try to make your head empty, try to rest. _I love you_."

But both knew words weren't enough. Words wouldn't make this disappear. Words alone wouldn't cure Logan.

Julian kissed Logan on his lips, and Logan—exhausted and absolutely drained from all the emotions—closed his eyes and fell in a restless, uncomfortable sleep.

Fresh tears escaped brown eyes as they looked down on Logan. Julian pushed a hand against his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, his face contorted in agony and a devastating heartbreak. He dropped to his knees, his whole body hurting and burning with anger, pain, grief—and a thorough, piercing fear that left him paralyzed and gasping for breath.

Julian found Logan's hand, grabbed it and held on for dear life—afraid that if he'd let go, the wind would get under Logan and carry him away like a weightless leaf floating on a breeze.

"Don't leave me," Julian whispered—voice and eyes intense, solely focused on the sleeping blond. "Don't leave me. Don't _ever_ leave me."

Logan moaned in his sleep and Julian's heart broke even further when he saw silent tears slip from his closed eyelids.

"I _love_ you."

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading<strong>—<strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	16. Forbidden

**Summary: Company to _Studying Sucks_. Julian actually goes through with his threat to Logan. No sex for two weeks. This is how they handle it :)**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

* * *

><p><strong>Forbidden<strong>

* * *

><p>Logan leaned over his desk, hands on his homework, but his green eyes focused intently on the boy who was walking—no, fucking <em>prancing<em>—towards him. His heart fluttered when Julian smirked and winked sultrily, leaning casually against the desk, his long, slender fingers playing with the papers.

"How are you holding up, Lo?" Julian asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked down.

Green eyes narrowed, and the young actor got an irritated sneer back. "Back off, Jules. I'm doing perfectly fine. Thank you very much."

"Hm-hm…" Julian lowered his body, resting his chin on his hands, big, brown eyes gazing up in malicious pleasure. His lips were curled up in a true Cheshire Cat grin as he cocked his head. "You don't _look_ fine, darling."

Logan's stomach clenched uncomfortably hearing the endearment and his fingers clutched his pencil tightly. He forced a smile. "I am _fine_."

Julian raised his chin haughtily, his expression that of screaming triumph. "You are?" his face was so close to Logan's, the blond could feel his breath brush over his cheeks. "Because I think the lack of sex is getting to you," Julian whispered. He grinned, pushing himself from the desk and walking away. Standing in the door-opening, he threw one last wink at Logan—hot, seducing, teasing—before he disappeared.

Logan's plastic smile vanished with the actor and he let his head fall on the desk with a painful bang, a groan of frustration escaping his lips.

* * *

><p>Derek's eyes flickered from Logan to Julian, his expression bored and slightly irritated. He gestured lazily to Julian.<p>

"Your turn."

Logan bristled. "I wasn't _done_ yet!"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah—I already get it. Sex prohibition, you're frustrated, so you—"

"—sexually _assaulted_ me!" Julian cried out, brown eyes flashing, his cheeks flushed.

Logan slammed the wall with a tight fist. "I _didn't_, you fucking drama-queen!"

"You kiss—"

"I was _leaning over_, because I _dropped _something!"

Derek raised his eyebrows, gaze slowly crawling to Julian's reddening face. "Are you imagining things, Jules?"

"_No!_ What are you even _talking_ about!"

Smirking, their tanned friend rested his head in his hands. "I think you're both completely pathetic. You're obviously way too primitive to live without sex."

Both boys immediately wheeled around to him, flinging curses and insults to his head with a speed that astounded even Derek.

"_Don't even go there, D!_"

"_You're_ one to talk, you moron!"

Derek raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, okay, I get it. Whatever. You're still pathetic."

"We're _not_!"

"He tried to _kiss_ me!"

Logan turned to face his currently-not-so-cute-boyfriend viscously. "Geez, Jules—maybe you should revoke that rule? Because you're seeing things already and it's only been _four days_."

"Four…? What? No way! It's been at least a week, stupid!"

The bickering continued, both boys staying as far away from each other as was possible, Derek in the middle—bored, irritated, only slightly amused. But their insults died after a few minutes, the comments getting less sarcastic with each word… because, secretly, they'd relished the unexpected contact and they weren't really mad about it.

They were just frustrated beyond belief they couldn't get more.

* * *

><p>It was only two days later that Julian plopped on the couch next to Logan, his arms crossed, his expression frustrated and angry.<p>

"I hate you," the actor pressed his lips together, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hate you _so much_. So much, Logan. Words can't even express it."

Logan looked up in irritation, eyes blazing fire at the smaller boy. "_You_ hate _me_?" he laughed humorlessly. "_That's_ funny! _I_ thought it was the other way around!"

The students in the common room looked up from their works, exchanging slightly fearful looks, some of them even making their way out in case the bomb would explode.

"Why in the fucking _world_ would you hate _me, _Wright?" Julian burst out, throwing his arms up in absolute frustration.

Logan almost snarled, his whole body turning toward the actor, eyes narrowing in fury. "_You_ are the one that made up the stupid, fucking _stupid _rule!"

"Because you wouldn't leave me the hell _alone!_" Julian hissed, fingers digging in the couch. He kicked the carpet vehemently. "_Fuck! Why _couldn't you just have walked off!"

"Because you're my _boyfriend_—I have the _right_ to spend some _time_ with you!"

"You're not allowed to spend time with me if I say I don't want to!"

"You _did_ want to!"

"I was _studying!_"

"Fuck you, Jules. Why can't you just let me _touch_ you?"

Julian narrowed his eyes and he shook his head—reluctantly so.

"You're so damned _stubborn_!" Logan cried out, sitting back in the couch, eyes sweeping over the common room. They'd chased every boy out of it, and his heart fluttered when he realized they were alone—but… Narrowing his eyes, his hands found Julian's.

_Fuck it._

Julian yelped when he was suddenly yanked to Logan's chest, wet lips pressing on his, fingers raking eagerly through his hair. He pushed against the blond's chest in weak protest—but when Logan fell over, he just took the actor with him, their arms and legs intertwined as they fell with a loud bang on the floor.

"Logan—" Julian's words were nearly unintelligible, his lips still forced on Logan's, a tongue firmly trying to enter. "What the _fuck_ are you doing…"

"Shut the fuck up, Jules," Logan panted, tearing on the brunet's clothes. "I think you've done enough."

Julian's eyes widened and closed when a loud rip indicated the ruination of his clothes, and a loud, passionate gasp escaped him when hot hands found their way inside his jeans.

"Oh _fuck_ yeah—right _there—"_

"_Do something already_," Logan hissed, "you're the one who fucked it up—you're _not_going to be the only one to get any!"

Julian's eyes fluttered open and with an eagerness that shocked Logan, he forced his tongue in the singer's mouth, pressing their bodies closer.

Logan moaned in Julian's mouth. "I fucking _hate_ you for ever having done this to us."

"Hm—" Julian's eyes were closed, mind set on one thing only, not really caring about anything else. "Stop talking—"

"I swear to god, Jules—" Logan moaned when Julian licked his belly-button, clenching his teeth, "—if you _ever_ pull something off like this again, I _will_ fucking 'sexually harass' you—"

"Fuck, Lo," Jules teeth closing around a nipple. "Just _shut up_."

It was quick.

But the passion, the longing, the _love_ was so profound—so utterly and completely intense—it made their hearts ache with a never-ending need for each other, and it made them soar in the sky with a love that went on forever and ever.

Their bodies were drenched in sweat by the time they finished, their chests heaving breathlessly, their hearts drumming uncomfortably loud. Exhausted and absolutely drained, they dragged themselves from the floor, supporting the other if needed—not even bothering to clear the floor of their ripped and torn clothes—and stumbled to Julian's room, tumbling in bed and falling asleep with their arms embracing each other tightly.

They would never let go again.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are awesome :) And if you like this, you should go to my tumblr: bourbonrose . tumblr . com because I have a lot of drabbles there that I won't post up here.<strong>

**Bye bye now *blows kisses***


	17. In The Closet

**Summary: Rane and Jogan. This is not a Rane/Jogan orgy! God no O.O So if you had your mind set on _that_, I'm sorry to disappoint. It does have all four of them in one closet, though...**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

* * *

><p><strong>In The Closet<strong>

* * *

><p>Julian and Logan were pressed up against the shelves in the janitors-closet, engulfed in darkness, embraced by their arms. Except for their low moans and their passionate grunts—it was completely quiet around them. Most of their clothes lay in a disregarded heap on the floor, scattered in a clear trail where they'd thrown them off.<p>

Julian's hands were gripping Logan's neck, his fingers tangled in the blond locks, pushing the singer down so he could allow his tongue to wander further. Their teeth were nibbling on lips, raking over sensitive skin. Hands were sauntering over bare spines, tickling pink nipples, disappearing in their underwear—ready to rip those off, too.

Even though they were in their own little world—their caresses stuttered when they heard a quiet giggle and a muffled voice outside the door.

Julian's breath brushed over Logan's throat, his lips tickling the thin skin. Their eyes glinted in the darkness, exchanging looks that were not scared, but were rather twinkling with exhilaration.

"Would they—"

"Of course not," Logan trailed his hands over the actor's chest, earning a pleased moan and a lick over his jaw. "It's a bit too late for people wanting to use the closet."

"_We're_ using the closet."

Logan grinned wickedly. "Let's continue using it then—"

And just as their lips met—the closet door swung open, two persons entering, the dark hallway providing too little light to show the two startled boys who'd come in—before it was slammed shut again.

Eyes wide with shock, their hands grabbing each other tightly—they peered around the cramped room, desperate to see something. Logan hissed a breathless curse as they heard two panting breaths, Julian's hand coming up to cover his mouth immediately—eyes larger when they heard the obvious sounds of two bodies being shoved into shelves.

Suddenly the two boys heard a crash, a muttered curse, and Julian yelped in shock when his elbow touched bare skin that was _not_ Logan's. He jumped into his boyfriend, knocking the two into the shelves, creating a deafening noise as the whole thing exploded—objects flying everywhere, bouncing against persons, walls, the floor…

And along with that horrifyingly loud noise, came other shocked sounds—

"Whoa!"

"_Who are you!_"

"What the _fuck_!"

"What's going on here?"

Logan's chest heaved as he tried to control himself, and he felt a fast, rhythmic pounding in his chest—but whether it was Julian's heart or his own he could not tell, they were pressed up so close together.

They heard one of the other persons whisper something.

"…Are you alright?"

Julian squinted and could see the vague shadows of two boys—one lying on the ground, the other leaning over to help him up. Realization dawned on him and he scrambled backwards, shoving into Logan again.

"Oh no. Oh no no no no—_Reed?_!_"_

Logan gasped, his green eyes narrowing at the tall shadow, arms around Julian protectively. "Shane? What the fuck!"

"Julian?"

"Logan?"

"What are you guys _doing _in here?"

"I could say the same about you, you blithering idiot!"

"_Keep quiet_!" Reed hissed, up on his feet again, his fingers digging in Shane's clothing, heart in his throat. "They'll _hear_ us!"

"I don't fucking care!" Julian exclaimed, bristling with indignation. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

"What are _you_ doing in here?" Shane spat back.

Reed suddenly gasped, tripping again, caught just in time by his boyfriend. "Is this—are these—_clothes_?"

An uncomfortable silence.

Shane groaned in absolute misery. "Please don't tell me you guys are naked."

"_No!_"

"…maybe."

"What the _hell_, man?"

"You were planning the same thing—_so shut your tramp!_"

"Go away!"

"Did you miss the part where we're _barely dressed_?"

"Did you miss the part where it's _our turn_?"

Julian narrowed his eyes in anger, clinging to Logan possessively—not even close to done with him. "What even…? This isn't a fucking amusement park, Anderson!"

Reed tugged on Shane's sleeve, wanting to get this whole thing over with, wanting to get out of this situation and never think of it again. "Shane—_please_ let's just go…"

Shane glared at the two shadows—that were _way _too close for his liking—but gave in when he caught the sight of two large, terrified brown eyes.

"Fine…"

"_Thank you—_"

"Jules…"

And with that, Reed opened the door and hurried out, dragging a reluctant Shane along. The door slammed shut with a loud crash, leaving Julian and Logan alone again.

Julian buried his face in Logan's chest, while the blond did his best not to burst out in laughter.

"_Please _tell me that didn't happen…"

* * *

><p><strong>Like I always tell you; reviews are awesome. Oh, and if you like this you should go to my tumblr: bourbonrose . tumblr. com (I believe. Wouldn't it be extremely lame if I typed my url wrong? Whatever, I'm too lazy to check *facepalm*) There are drabbles over there that I won't post here. A lot of drabbles. Way too many. But whatever.<strong>


	18. Smut

**Pairing: Jogan**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

* * *

><p><strong>Smut<strong>

* * *

><p>The actor looked completely adorable as he sat in Logan's lap, holding the laptop tightly, his huge eyes fixed upon the screen in horror. His brown hair was sticking out everywhere and he was wearing a button down of Logan's that was just a little too big for his smaller frame.<p>

Logan smirked when he saw Julian's eyes widen even more in his thorough shock, his hand going to his throat in utter mortification as he choked out a strangled sound.

"W-what is _this_—?"

Logan's smile got bigger as he leaned over his boyfriend, hugging him from behind, resting his chin on the brunet's shoulder. He gestured loosely to a particularly vulgar scene.

"That's us, obviously."

"No, no, no, no—this isn't happening…" Julian was bright red by now, eyes raping the words in a growing panic. "No, no, no, no."

The blond squinted, his heart fluttering wildly in amusement. "It is, though. Listen to this: 'Julian Larson reached forward, biting into Logan's skin, his tongue swirling ar—'"

He cut off when Julian whacked his chest viciously. "_I can read that, you idiot!_"

Logan snorted a laugh, but his heart melted when Julian actually hugged himself and doubled over in obvious shame.

"Oh shit, this is fucking unbelievable."

"Aw, come on, Jules. They do this with every celebrity—I'm sure of it."

Julian lifted his head to sent the blond a deadly glare. "But this is _me_. How am I_ever_ going to be able to sit through an interview with all those fans with a straight face?"

"They won't actually know _you _know."

"But I know they _think_ those things! Jesus!"

Logan hugged him tighter, pressing a kiss to his throat. "They thought those things before they wrote them down, princess. No need to freak out."

"_Why aren't you freaking out?_"

Logan smirked. "I already have it all worked out, it's pushed away. It's just really funny now. And it was a while ago I found out. You know—you should be honored, really."

"_Why?_"

"That they deem you and I worthy of such hot sex."

Julian whacked him again, a new blush creeping up, his eyes twinkling murderously.

"What? It is _hot_, come on. Admit it, Jules."

Julian glowered. "That's the whole freaking point!"

Logan smirked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, as he pointed to another sentence. "Look at that: 'Logan's hands slid lower and lower, his fingers twisting around your—I mean, _Julian_'s c—"

Once again, Julian broke him off—throwing the laptop shut, lips pressed together in a tight line as he shoved the damned thing as far away from him as possible.

Grinning, Logan closed his eyes and planted a warm, wet trail of butterfly kisses over the actor's throat.

"Maybe we should write our own smut-fiction, huh?"

Julian's lips twitched, but his cheeks were still a bright red. Logan sighed, falling back, taking his reluctant boyfriend with him. The brunet turned around and looked down in sparkling green eyes, pecking Logan's luscious lips thoughtfully.

"Hm…"

"Come on—it was a pretty good fiction, wasn't it?"

"…maybe."

"Julian."

"Fine. It was. Pretty good. Very hot. _Really_ hot, 'kay?"

The smirk that lightened Logan's face was like the sun and Julian snorted as he licked the blond's nose affectionately.

"Remind me… where did it start again…?"

Logan rolled them over immediately, both boys giggling and laughing at their lunacy—hearts pounding in anticipation… because they both knew all too well what was going to happen.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading, please tell me what you think :)<strong>


	19. A Different Kind Of Love

**Summary: Jogan and Rane**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

* * *

><p><strong>A Different Kind Of Love<strong>

* * *

><p>The closet rattled loudly as the brunet was thrown against it, his back arching with the strike, his expression contorting in a painful grimace just for a small moment—before his brown eyes hungrily searched the other pair of eyes. Logan pounced on him, shoving him against the closet, their lips crashing almost painfully, their hands digging in their clothes, ripping them apart with unnecessary force.<p>

The blond smirked wickedly as he groped Julian's hair, jerking his head back so he could deepen the kiss. When he spoke, it was with a mocking tone, his lips and breath producing movements that made the actor's eyes roll back in lust…

-:-

"_I'm not hurting you aren't I?" _

_Grey-green eyes stared down on the delicate artist in worry, his hands momentarily halting from where they were slowly lifting Reed's shirt._

_But the strawberry-blond just shook his head shyly, brown eyes warm and huge, staring up at his boyfriend in utter trust. His smaller hands clasped Shane's._

"_You're not hurting me, okay? Just… continue…" he blushed at this, almost looking away weren't it for the luscious lips that pressed upon his—reminding him why he wanted to do this so badly, awakening the need to have Shane continue like crazy. _

_Reed's fingers grabbed the taller boy's shirt, pulling him closer as the dancer's long fingers slowly unzipped the artist's pants. Their movements were controlled, loving, every twitch—every action—done with complete devotion and a tenderness that almost hurt._

_Shane's lips brushed over Reed's lightly as he tenderly whispered…_

-:-_  
><em>

"…trust me."

Julian grinned mischievously—shoved Logan on the bed roughly, their lips never parting—their teeth scraping over their skin in a possessive urgency. Their eyes were wild, their hands raking over the few clothes they still wore, tearing them off of hot, warm bodies. Every action was raw, urgent, messy, almost painful to their overly-sensitive senses.

Logan growled in Julian's throat, and the brunet's eyes fluttered close as his entire body tingled in reaction. They rolled over, their last clothes thrown ungraciously on the floor, and they pulled back for a tiny second—like they always did—to give each other a wicked smirk… before Julian trailed his tongue down Logan's chest, touching both nipples, noticing with satisfaction when the blond moaned and…

-:-

…_arched his back, a trembling sigh escaping his lips. Reed tangled his fingers in Shane's wild curls and pulled him closer. The dancer's flexible body—the easy rippling of his muscles highlighted by the one dimmed light in the room—hovered over the delicate posture of the artist. And Shane's hands were featherlight over his sensitive skin, not wanting to hurt, not wanting to be too rough… but wanting everything with an insatiable, never-ending hunger._

"_Shane…"_

"_I'm here…" _

_Shane nudged his lips against Reed's, tongues dancing again, eyes closing as their hands moved over completely naked bodies. _

_Their fingers traveled down and down, gliding over…_

-:-

…skin that was dripping from the sweat. Logan choked out a sound that was a chuckle and a moan at the same time—his hands gripping Julian's hair and pressing him down roughly and demanding.

"Come on, Jules…"

Julian smirked his Cheshire grin as his teeth lightly touched Logan's member, teasing him, playing with him—eyes narrowing when he heard a muffled curse. Brown eyes twinkled for the last time when they closed, his hands and mouth working in unison as they gave…

-:-

…_him everything he'd always wanted and everything he'd never even dared to dream of. Reed moaned when Shane's fingers turned and twisted, and his heart exploded in a sudden, uncontrollable love. His eyes fluttered close, his legs coming up to tangle around Shane's waist as he brought his hips up._

_Shane's eyes were sparkling as he drank in the image of his boyfriend—so vulnerable, so gorgeous, so…_

-:-

…absolutely beautiful. His small moment of distraction ended when Logan growled something unintelligible, urging Julian to continue. The actor let loose just before the singer came, and Logan—annoyed but playing along—growled as he leaped at his boyfriend, rolling them over yet again, tongues leaving wet trails over their already moist and salty bodies.

This time Julian ended underneath Logan, and Logan smirked at him as he went down to do his own…

-:-

…_teasing—that was it. Nothing more, nothing less._

_And as poor Reed craved for more, Shane chuckled lowly, tongue flickering out one more time to stroke over _that_ spot—making the artist shiver, his hands stroking over Shane's waist._

"_Gosh—I love you."_

"_I love you too… I love you so much—"_

_Reed opened his eyes, smiling weakly, before he bit his lip shyly. Shane understood immediately and he ducked back down with a grin._

"_I…"_

-:-

"…love you so fucking much—"

"Shut up and do your work, Your Majesty."

"So—_nnngh_—damn sensitive, hm? _Oh! Jesus—"_

"That's what I thought—I want—_hmm_—…"

-:-

"…_more!"_

_After the explosion that rocked his world like nobody and nothing could compare to—Reed sacked back in the pillows, hands trembling with exhaustion, gasping desperately for air. His boyfriend fell on him, heavy, comforting…_

-:-

…creating a blanket of safety. Julian's chest heaved for breath, but he threw his arms around Logan to keep him right there on top of him. Both had their eyes closed, but their hearts pounded loudly—and both could swear they could hear and feel the other's heart beat all the way through their own chest.

They were in love…

-:-

…_and nothing in the world could get to them at this moment. Shane slid off Reed to lie next to him, and the young artist cupped the dancer's face, eyes filled with pure adoration—reaching out to kiss him softly and sweetly._

_And they were completely calm, completely trusting—because they had all the time in the world. Their wide eyes locked…_

-:-

…and their hands started moving again—not done, not finished, _never_ finished.

They were rough again, hasty, passionate—because they wanted to have every second.

Because this…

-:-

…_would last forever._

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always appreciated and if you have any time, go check out my tumbrl: <span>bourbonrose . tumbrl . com<span> I have a lot of Dalton-drabbles up there that I won't upload on here :)**


	20. A Love Like This

**Some fluffy Jogan :)**

**Also, if you like my writing, you should follow me on Tumblr, since I won't post everything that I write on _there_ on _here_: bourbonrose . tumblr . com**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>A Love Like This<strong>

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><p>Julian sat cross-legged on the edge of his bed, his eyes wide and brimming with tears as he stared at a page of the magazine in his hands. His phone lay on the sheets next to him, completely disregarded while an angry green light lit up frequently to announce new messages and missed calls.<p>

He really tried to hold them in-he really, _really_ tried-but eventually he felt like he was going to explode and with a rough, trembling breath, the first tears slid down his cheek.

Of course was that the moment Logan burst happily and completely oblivious in the room-without knocking as always-and Julian closed his eyes, dropping the magazine and raising his hands to cover his face.

Logan noticed immediately and the smile disappeared as quickly as he was to Julian's side, gathering him in his arms and pressing a gentle kiss in his brown hair. Julian shifted in his arms until his face was buried in Logan's chest and his arms came around the blond's neck, crushing him even closer until he could feel their heartbeats melt together in perfect harmony.

It scared Logan to see his boyfriend like this-it really, genuinely scared him-making his heart skip every other second, making it hard to breath and hard to move... Because Julian was never like this, the actor would never be this vulnerable if it weren't for a damn good reason.

"What's wrong, Jules?" he whispered as soft as a breath, drenching his words in love and comfort and support.

But Julian clenched his jaw, refusing-_refusing, goddamnit_-to _sob_, because he wouldn't actually _cry_. Not now, not over this, not _again_ over this. But he couldn't speak without sobbing, so he stayed silent while furious, white-hot tears trailed down his flushed cheeks, leaving wet spots on Logan's clothes.

The singer accepted the non-answer surprisingly well, one arm tightening the embrace around the actor, the other picking up Julian's phone. He scanned through the messages hastily, his anger quickly rising as he noticed the messages-_50_ messages-that both his parents had sent him in only a few hours time.

_Don't listen to anything your dad or the tabloids say, sweetie. I love you and you know that, okay? - Mom_

_Julian, please don't take the tabloids seriously, you know as well as I do that they're rubbish and always exaggerating. Whatever your mom might say, just please talk to me first, okay? Your mom and I just have to sort out some stuff, it will be fine. - Dad_

_Julian? Can you please answer, honey? - Mom_

_Julian Larson-Armstrong, are you ignoring me? Please answer me. I love you, I love you so much. - Mom_

_Come on, son, don't be like this. You know better than to believe those headlines. Right? - Dad_

Most of the messages were like these and Logan knew for sure that the 61 missed calls were all from Travis Armstrong and Dolce Larson too.

"Jules-what the hell happened?" Logan mumbled, throwing the phone back on the sheets.

Julian pulled back and Logan's heart dropped when he saw his tear-streaked face and his messed up hair. The brunet let loose of Logan for just a short moment to wipe the tears away. His warm brown eyes-tears making them look liquid and and bright and utterly beautiful-looked away to the ground where the magazine had fallen.

"My parents," his voice was harsh, broken and filled with emotion. "My parents-apparently they had a _fight_," his eyes stood hard and furious as they gazed back into the green ones staring right back at him. "And they had to have a fucking fight in _public_, of course, with every single paparazzi in the fucking town present."

The actor huffed-meaning to sound angry, but instead sounding slightly desperate. He fumbled with Logan's fingers and the blond squeezed his hands softly, urging him to continue.

Julian nodded to the magazine on the floor. "It's all over the freaking tabloids. They fought about _me_ and they... they _even_ said... they dared to say... that maybe..." he shook his head angrily. "They were fighting about the divorce and about me and they said that maybe if they hadn't gotten _me_, that they might've still been together."

Logan opened his mouth to say something, a dangerous glint in his eyes as his heart surged up in anger. _How dared they_-

But Julian wasn't finished yet and he continued before Logan could say anything, his voice still thick and rough.

"Then they proceeded to fight over the fucking _custody_-which isn't really about_me_ anyway," he stated bitterly, laughing darkly, "it's all about the fucking career I make and to who my success and money belongs-and who cares anyway _where_ I live, because right _now_, I don't want to live with _either_ of them. I'll buy my own freaking apartment, or..."

He stopped abruptly when Logan pressed a fingers against his lips-hushing him effectively-and his eyes softened as he looked up into a warm green gaze.

"Jules-"

Julian sniffed sadly, but he shook his head, willing to chase away those tears-because he was tired-so _fucking_ tired to get upset over his parents.

And locking eyes with his boyfriend-he knew Logan would understand. Because his parents had gotten a divorce and his parents didn't get along either... and it felt nice to have someone who understood him without having to explain so much. It felt really, really nice-and without either of them having to say more, they reached out to each other, hugging and snuggling together as close as they could get.

"I'm sorry your parents are dicks," Logan said dryly, kissing the tip of Julian's nose.

Julian snorted, the dried tear-tracks on his cheeks pulling uncomfortably to his skin. He reached up to press a kiss on Logan's lips and Logan tasted the salt of his distress.

"No... but I am really sorry," he whispered, more serious now as he breathed the words in Julian's ear. "I wish I could do something for you-"

"-but you have your own dick-parents to worry about?"

Chuckling, Logan rolled his eyes. "Maybe-but also I'm not really important enough to interfere in your parent's relationship."

Now, Julian had to laugh genuinely, traces of his usual Cheshire smirk seeping back in his smile. "Oh please, _don't_ interfere-I'm horrified at what the headlines would say if you did..."

"What? 'Senator's son-boyfriend of Julian Larson-giving Dolce Larson and Travis Armstrong insight in their broken relationship and what it does to their son'. Personally-I think it sounds beautifully. Not good enough for you, Princess?"

Julian swatted his head playfully-making blond locks fly in Logan's face-and narrowed his eyes as he shook his head. "Even though I'd like to see you _try_, I wouldn't appreciate it if you actually _did_ it," he smirked.

Logan shrugged, unusually happy now he had to be Julian's rock. "Aw well, it's the thought that counts, right?"

Smiling, the actor fell back in the singer's chest, closing his eyes as he gave in the exhaustion that followed the emotions. "...thanks, Lo."

The blond smiled warmly, glad-and actually kind of _proud_-that he'd managed to cheer Julian up a bit. "You're welcome, Jules."

"You're awesome."

"Hm."

"What? Not good enough for you, Majesty?"

"...only awesome?"

"Fine... I also love you," Julian looked up with a small smirk. "Very, very much."

Logan leaned down to kiss him tenderly. "As I love you, Jules."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, please leave me some love :)<strong>

**- Rose**


	21. Always Safe

**Rane. Very sad.**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>Always Safe<strong>

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><p>His grey-green eyes looked up at the darkening sky for a second-seeing the stars and the moon as bright as ever... wishing he was there.<p>

_Fly me to the moon..._

He didn't want this. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this, he didn't want this, he didn't want this _at all_.

The sunflower in his hand swayed gently in the wind and he wished again that he wasn't here.

But then he had to look back down and he closed his eyes for just one short moment before he built up the courage to finally stare at what was right in front of him.

-:-

It had been only a matter of time. Nobody really thought about this, but everyone_ knew_ it would only be a matter of time before Reed's bad luck would turn out fatal.

His clumsiness and stumbling and tripping had become normal for them. It had never been fun to see Reed get hurt-but it had been adorable, charming... so utterly Reed. So when the young artist came back to the common room with scratches all over his face and over his hands and knees and elbows-laughing shyly through tears of pain when he said he'd fallen of his bike again-they hadn't really thought much of it.

The boys had helped him clean his wounds, put band aids on the really bloody ones, and had supported him as he'd stumbled back to his room to lay down for a while.

He was so tired, he'd said.

-:-

_He was so tired_.

Shane knelt down, the sunflower hanging his head in shared grief when he carefully laid it down on the cold, hard stone.

It was the last thing he'd drawn, the dancer remembered. He imagined Reed-smiling, laughing, angelic Reed, _his_ Reed-coming up to him shyly, handing him a painting and asking him what he thought about it.

_"And no lying, because I'll know when you're not being honest!_"

And Shane smiled as he closed his eyes, seeing the painting again. It was of him-he'd recognized his black curls, his bright eyes-and on the painting he was holding a sunflower in his hands. Reed had made it seem like he was giving the flower to someone, smile huge and sparkling, one hand in his pocket, his head tilted to the side.

It was beautiful, and he'd told him so, gathering the small boy in a hug as they kissed sweetly.

_"Thank you, Shane."_

But then the memory disappeared and those huge, warm, trusting, _loving_ eyes faded away into the brown, dry mud surrounding the headstone.

Shane blinked.

Defeated tears escaped, sliding languidly over his cheeks.

-:-

It had been... Kurt.

Kurt who'd wandered off late at night, going to his room to go to bed.

Kurt who'd uttered that awful, horrifying, endless scream that ended in a terrifying sob.

All the boys in the entire house had immediately frozen on their spot, staring with wide, shocked eyes at each other and to the walls and ceilings-as if they could see right through them.

But then...

_"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine, BLAINE! Oh god oh god oh god-_"

The twins moved first, dropping their mugs of coffee in unison as they each grabbed an arm of a completely stunned Blaine-for once not smiling, for once not joking, their ice-blue eyes serious and wide and scared. Their hands touched behind Blaine's back when they tried to seek comfort with each other.

Something was wrong.

Something was _so_ wrong.

-:-

Shane sobbed.

A horrible, raw sound that ripped itself from his throat. It sounded painfully and it probably _was_-but the young dancer was completely numb to physical pain, completely blind to the world around him.

It was just him and...

Just him.

He hugged himself tightly, doubling over in an unbearable, never-ending, bottomless pain that would never _ever _end.

_Fly me to _you_..._

A part of his heart was gone, broken off forever, having fallen into so many pieces he would _never_ be able to get all of them together again. Gone gone gone forever. And it hurt more than he had _ever_ imagined in his worst and most terrifying nightmares.

-:-

They found Kurt on his knees in front of the bed, one hand holding Reed's limp hand, the other cupping the artist's face. His cheeks were still a little bit flushed, his eyes were closed gently and his strawberry blond hair surrounded his face like a brilliant halo.

He looked like a sleeping angel.

Except... he was not sleeping.

Nobody said a word as they stood in the doorway, everybody who'd been close to Reed staying, people who hadn't known him that well slowly, reluctantly backing away.

No one of the group of friends dared to step closer-they didn't even know if they _could_ move-and Blaine was the only one who walked in. He dropped to his knees and gathered his boyfriend in his arms-crying silently as he stared at Reed.

The young artist had never told the boys he'd banged his head _hard_ when he'd fallen off his bike. If he'd told them, they would've probably insisted on making him see a doctor.

But maybe that was why he didn't told him.

His brain had suffered damage that must've hurt massively, but Reed had never complained. Not one word, not one twitch. Nothing.

He slept.

He died.

End of story.

And Blaine had to call Shane and tell him that.

-:-

Shane's hands trembled as he let his fingers tenderly brush the headstone. It felt cold, hard, massive-the completely opposite of Reed.

He never stopped crying.

He never _would_ stop crying.

Not when he could still see Reed stumble his way through his mind. Not when he could still feel those small, dainty fingers stroke over his face and hair-Reed could never resist pushing his pinkie into one of Shane's dangling, black ringlets. Not when he could still hear that beautiful, soft, lulling, gentle voice whisper all kinds of sweetness in his ear.

_"Hey Shane?"_

_"Hm?"_

_They were always touching, hands moving up and down skin, lips brushing feather light over fluttering eyelids, leaving butterfly kisses everywhere._

_"I love you."_

_They always smiled when they were with each other-smiling brilliantly, happily, chasing away everything dark and terrifying._

_"You do?"_

_"Yes, I do."_

_They were always warm when they were together. Warm, safe, comforted-utterly and irrevocably in love._

_"Hey Reed, you know what?"_

_"Hm?"_

_They always felt forever._

_"I love you too."_

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think :)<strong>

**- Rose**


	22. In My Dying Days

**Future Jogan, italics are memories.**

**Hope you enjoy :) Don't forget to follow me on tumblr: bourbonrose . tumblr . com Like I always say, I have a huge list of drabbles I won't post on here :)**

_The characters belong to the wonderful CP Coulter and her piece of art 'Dalton'._

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><p><strong>In My Dying Days<strong>

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><p>When you're with someone as long as they are with each other—you live together, you grow together... and eventually your memories and dreams and hopes intertwine like the branches of love-trees, whose branches cling to each other like they're each other's life-lines.<p>

You've lived through so many things together, you're bound in so many different ways—it leaves scars behind when one of you leaves.

And Logan feels the scars clearly, carved into his soul and heart viciously and violently.

He stands in their bedroom—_his_ bedroom now—and he has never felt that alone in his life.

The sun shines. The rain falls. The leaves fall of the trees. Everything seems so much the same. As if nothing has happened, as if everything is alright. And yet, everything is so different. Everything is so wrong.

-:-

"_You're... you're... in love with me?"_

_Brown eyes fill with tears as they look up and Logan raises his eyebrows when he sees the ferocious power in them. Julian is young, invincible and fearless as he lifts his chin defiantly._

"_Yes. I am."_

-:-

They've been together for 60 years. And 60 years is a long time... and yet... it's _way_ too short.

They still have so many things they'd wanted to do, so many things they'd wanted to experience together. Dreams, hopes, desires—most of them filled, but some of them left empty. And the saddest thing is—Logan realizes when he strokes his thumb over one of Julian's many movie-awards—the saddest thing is, that those empty dreams will be empty forever.

Logan walks out of their—_his_—bedroom and glances quickly in the mirror, and his heart plummets, his eyes widen and he stops moving immediately. Where he'd looked endlessly young and alive with Julian on his side—all he sees now is an old man, ready to die too, waiting for _his_ turn.

He sighs and turns around listlessly.

He just wishes he'd gone first.

-:-

_Derek is furious when he stomps into his room._

"_Get your naked asses out of the freaking _neighborhood _of my bed, or I will end you both!" he yells and both Logan and Julian look up irritably and not impressed, throwing a pillow in his face, chasing him out eventually._

_They tease him endlessly when they finally leave the room, smirking and grinning, being unusually touchy with each other—just to annoy their best friend._

"_You're bed is awfully soft and cozy, D."_

_Derek narrows his eyes and grabs the nearest thing he can find, throwing it at the couple with all his power. All three end up laughing when the jam drips off the wall pathetically, and together they make their way to the dorm—carefully avoiding the pieces of glass scattered all over the floor._

-:-

Derek throws an arm around Logan's shoulders when he arrives at the funeral.

Both friends don't say anything, but then again—they don't really need to. Although not married—they, too, have been friends for so long... they understand each other without a word.

They hold onto each other throughout the entire process, finding comfort with each other, supporting the other whenever he threatens to cave and break down sobbing like a child.

"Are you holding up?" Derek whispers, stopping to search the area for people they know, focusing his brown eyes on his best friend. His one best friend. His only best friend left. He realizes he has to hold onto Logan now, that he has to be careful not to let him slip away.

Logan looks at him and presses his lips together. He can't help but notice that Derek has gotten old, too. His usual smooth face wrinkled, his normally brown hair salt and pepper now... and he knows... he _knows_... that it will be their time soon too.

But without Julian, he doesn't really care anymore.

He shakes his head and walks on, tugging Derek with him.

-:-

"_Lo?"_

_Logan looks down to see his boyfriend fumble with his clothes and he's surprised when he sees the blush on Julian's cheeks. It looks good on him. He looks delicious. Logan smiles warmly, nudging his face against Julian's, their noses and lips brushing together tenderly._

"_Yeah?"_

_His brown eyes are filled with a love so strong, it nearly stops Logan's heart. "I love you."_

_They're squashed together, in a hug so tight, neither one of them believes they'll ever be able to untangle their limbs anymore._

"_...I love you too."_

-:-

Except for the massive crowd of people that drags themselves terribly slowly forward—and they're everywhere; all black, sad, tears and shock—there is also that god-awful, ever-existing paparazzi lurking in the shadows and the corners, waiting to get a good shot of the grieving husband of the late Hollywood-star.

Logan glares at them. But his green eyes lost their fire, and the blazing anger that had always arrived that easily was extinguished.

Derek is the only one holding him together as they went inside to take a seat.

-:-

"_It's in the tabloids," Julian's eyes are wide and like stars, his cheeks flushed, his gestures wild and hopelessly adorable. "Oh my _fucking_ god, it's in the tabloids."_

"_What? What is it, Jules?"_

_He turns to the blond, hands in his hair, forming the perfect example of stress. "Us. Kissing," he closes his eyes and tilts his head back in a gesture of surrender. "God, kill me now."_

_Logan has to laugh and he earns a deadly glare for that. "Please, Julian, don't be such a drama-queen." He picks up the magazine and stares at the picture. His heart does that funny salto-thing again. "We look really good together, don't we?"_

_Julian accepts the hug and scoots closer to his boyfriend. He glances down at the picture, too. "...I guess... I guess we do look cute, yeah..."_

-:-

He'd sworn not to cry, he had promised Julian he wouldn't grief too much, he had _promised_ him. Yet, he can't hold it in any longer.

The dam miserably breaks and tears stream over both his cheeks like there is no tomorrow.

But... with how things are right now... there _is_ no tomorrow.

Julian is gone and Julian is his life and now he has died—taking his heart, his soul, his life... taking everything with him to the grave.

60 years. _60_ long years that aren't long enough. 60 years that Logan would've done over or doubled without hesitation.

He misses him.

He misses him so, _so _much.

-:-

"_Jules...?"_

"_Yeah?" Julian looks up from his script and Logan's heart jumps. Brown eyes stare at him curiously, pink lips parted slightly from when he'd been mouthing the words in his script._

"_Will you... will you marry me?"_

_Julian's mouth falls open and his eyes widen until Logan is afraid they'll pop out._

"_Don't you... Don't you... need a _ring_ to propose?" Julian asks, and one of his mouth-corners quirk up in that silly cat-like smirk of his._

"_It just popped up in my head, princess," Logan sneers, his grin betraying his happiness—because he knows Julian is going to say yes no matter what. "I don't have time to buy a ring _now_, do I?"_

_Julian jumps up from the couch and the script flutters to the floor as he tackles the blond in a suffocating hug. He kisses him everywhere, his hands touch him everywhere, and then he reaches up to whisper in his ear._

"_We'll look for a ring tomorrow, yeah? Let's spend the night doing something different..."_

-:-

It begins, but Logan never hears what they say. He stares at the casket, he thinks about who's lying in there, and he wants to join.

"We're gathered here, on this sad day..."

The paparazzi mumbles, the lights of the cameras flicker, the crowd sniffles and sobs, and Logan doesn't want to do this anymore.

"...to bury..."

He doesn't want to hear it, but the name screams in his head, demands his attention—and he smiles sadly, closing his eyes in remembrance.

When had Julian Larson _not_ screamed for attention? That insufferable, loving, crazy diva of his...

"...Julian Larson..."

He misses him.

"...the loving husband of Logan Wright..."

He misses him _so_ much.

"...best friend of Derek Seigerson..."

His heart hurts.

"...son of late Dolce Larson and Travis Armstrong..."

His very_ soul_ hurts.

"...celebrated movie-star throughout the world..."

He closes his eyes and cries.

-:-

_The hospital lights make him look pale, sick, broken, defeated._

_But maybe that's appropriate, because, in theory, he is every one of those things—even if it's not how Logan sees him._

_His eyes open and Logan relishes in the warm, safe, familiar brown. Julian cracks a smile and it makes Logan admire him—even if his own heart cracks along._

"_Jules..."_

"_Lo..." his voice is soft, gentle... weak. Too weak._

"_I love you, Jules," his voice breaks, letting a sob through, and he hates himself for it._

_Julian smiles softly, reaching out and cupping Logan's cheek. "Don't be sad, Lo. Promise me you won't be sad. God... promise me you won't break down on the funeral and start bawling like a child," he chuckles weakly, but quickly turns serious again. "Don't be sad, Logan."_

_Logan lets a tear slip and leans into the actor's hand. "...how?"_

"_I'll always be with you. One way or another," he has to cough and it sounds painful and it probably is painful, because he grimaces and closes his eyes for a moment._

_Logan's heart cries and he's doing everything he can to not let his eyes cry too._

"_I love you so much," he whispers, unable to say anything else. His heart grows, explodes, and he wishes he could absorb the actor in it, to keep him safe from whatever it is that's coming for him._

_Julian smiles again and flicks Logan's cheek playfully. "I know. I love you too. With all of my heart."_

"_I love you most," Logan breathes, knowing exactly what his husband would say next._

"_I've loved you longer."_

_Logan crawls next to him in the hospital-bed and he gathers Julian in his arms, cuddling him, holding him against his chest tightly. He feels Julian's heart pounding against his own ribcage. He hates how it sounds so much less strong than his own and he wishes he could give him his own heart._

_He sings and Julian is listening quietly._

_When he stops singing, Julian is still quiet._

_Logan doesn't feel his heartbeats anymore. He buries his face in the actor's hair and cries for hours. And when he finally stops crying, his heart feels as empty as his eyes and he has never felt so alone in his entire life._

-:-

He didn't think his heart could ache more—but after the burial, it feels like his heart has been clawed out by some ferocious animal and it hurts like hell.

Logan and Derek hug by his front door and Derek whispers in his ear, telling him to hold on, telling him that he'll be there for him—that he'll _always _be there for him—and that it's all going to be okay.

But it's not.

It's _not_ going to be okay.

Logan doesn't bother to change, but crawls into bed right away. He gathers Julian's pillow in his arms and hugs it to his chest exactly like the last time they'd snuggled up. He buries his face in the soft tissue and smells him.

It's torture. It's delicious. It's _home_.

He doesn't even notice that he is crying until his muscles protest from the heavy shaking, until his cheeks are raw from the salt and the tears. And still, he continues to cry.

He'll always cry.

He wonders again when it'll be his turn.

...and he finds himself hoping it'll be soon... because living without a heart... it's impossible for him.

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><p><strong>I love reviews :3 And I'd love to hear your thoughts :)<strong>

**Love,  
>- Rose <strong>


	23. Alive

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P**

**This one's Jogan.**

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

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><p><strong>Alive<strong>

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><p>Logan leaped out of his car, not even bothering to close it, tripping over his feet as he rushed through the darkness and into the building where Julian lived. He dashed up the stairs, eyes and breath frantic with fear as he forced himself to go faster.<p>

He choked on a sob as he finally stood in front of Julian's door, trying his utmost best not to actually cry as he pounded wildly on the door. The cell phone in his free hand creaked in protest as he crashed it between his fingers, hating how he wasn't able to contact the actor.

Panic hit him straight in his chest, his heart going a mile, and Logan growled and started hitting the door louder.

"Come on, come on, come _on_," he muttered. His mind went back to the article on the internet and his heart protested desperately—stopping for the longest moment before picking up its fast beat again.

_Today, at 10 pm, celebrated teen-star Julian Larson was in a car-accident. Sources tell us that he didn't sur—_

But just as his mind was about to take that dangerous turn, just as his memory was beginning to remember _those_ horrible, dreadful, _painful_ words—the door opened with a loud slam.

Julian Larson—alive, alive, _alive_—stood in the doorway, with an expression that couldn't be more annoyed, shadows under his eyes and his eyes shooting fire as they raked over Logan.

"Have you _any_ idea what time i—"

He couldn't finish his sentence, because Logan sobbed loudly and threw his arms around him, toppling the both of them over, both boys falling on the floor in a uncomfortably tight embrace.

"Logan, what the _fuck_ are you doing?" Julian asked, only half awake, his mind still struggling to think clearly. "Why are you here? Why aren't you at school?" Only now did he notice the tear tracks that ran over Logan's cheeks and he touched them gently, his eyes widening in concern. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Logan, what happened? Oh god, did someone get hurt? Is it Derek? Is it—"

But Logan shook his head and kissed him passionately, interrupting Julian's chatter, tightening the hold he had on his boyfriend. "You're _alive_," he mumbled around the kiss, his voice breaking as his heart expanded and healed again. The weight of the world fell off his shoulders, and he exhaled shakily. "Oh my god, you're _alive_. Oh my _fucking_ god…"

Julian was only more confused as he tried to shove Logan off of him, his weight nearly crushing him. "_What?_ Of _course_ I'm alive! What the hell, Lo?" He gave up trying to get up, and just patted Logan on his shoulder, fervently wishing he could go back to sleep. "Why the hell would you think I wouldn't be alive, hm?"

Logan kissed him again, their lips clashing together with force, one of his hands coming up to cup Julian's face lovingly. "I read it on the Internet…" he muttered, lips still against Julian's, voice still rough with hurt.

The actor's eyes went wide, and his heart jumped to his throat. "You read _what_ on the Internet?"

"They said you were in a car crash," Logan whispered hoarsely, still not over the shock from reading that damn article. He kissed both Julian's cheeks. "Oh fuck—_I love you_."

Julian wrapped his arms around Logan and pulled him against his body, kissing him back just as firmly now. "So…" Logan's tongue was raping his lips, "…the world…" their lips moved together, breaking off his words, "…everyone thinks I'm dead now…?"

Logan tightened his embrace, hushing the actor with yet another desperate kiss. "_Don't say that_…"

"I have to… I have to call my… publisher… and… I…" Julian turned his face away with a laugh, but Logan continued kissing him. "Damn it, Logan—let me go!"

"Never," Logan protested, the tear tracks on his cheeks still fresh as he pulled Julian closer. "Jesus Christ, I almost got a heart attack when I read that, you think I'm letting you go?" He nuzzled his nose against Julian's throat. "You must be crazy."

Julian snorted, ruffling Logan's hair and pressing a long kiss on his cheek. "Nah… I understand you… You're probably right…"

"Probably?"

Julian shivered at the thought of _Logan_ being dead, and he clutched him closer. "Maybe… maybe you're just right…"

"That's what I thought."

They stayed on the floor for a while, just like that, lying and cuddling and kissing, Logan's hold on Julian never getting any less strong. After a few minutes, Logan looked up from where his head rested against Julian's collarbone, and his green eyes sparkled as he kissed his boyfriend.

"Jules…?"

"Hm?"

"You do realize I expect comfort-sex now, don't you?"

Julian scoffed, smirking as he looked down. "'Comfort-sex'? Really, Lo?"

"Yeah," Logan breathed, and as he reached up to kiss him properly, he pushed the door close with his foot. "Right now."

Julian snorted and burst out in happy laughter as he was pushed down, throwing his arms and legs around Logan who was now straddling him, a devoted expression in his eyes.

"Don't ever do that again, Jules…"

"I'll try not to die anymore, sweet thing."

"You'd better not…"


	24. Coffee Deficiency

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P**

**This one is with the Stuart Trio.**

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

* * *

><p><strong>Coffee Deficiency<strong>

* * *

><p>The chair shrieked over the floor as Julian violently shoved it closer to the table, slamming his coffee mug down with force, his eyes shooting fire as he glared at it murderously.<p>

Derek and Logan lowered their own mugs, glancing at each other before staring at the fuming actor in surprise.

"Jules…?"

"_What?_" Julian bristled immediately, sharp voice cutting through the air like razors, sepia eyes flying up to meet Derek's stunned expression. "What the fuck do you _want_, Derek?"

Logan raised his eyebrows and snorted in disbelief at the actor's behavior. After a quick look at Julian's face, he noticed the dark bruises under the brunet's eyes, and he gestured lightly toward the coffee. "Julian, drink—before you murder someone."

Surprisingly, it made Julian even more furious, and he tapped his mug with a devilish look, poking his tongue out in absolute disdain. "I _hate_ this stuff."

"What the hell is _wrong _with you, Julian?" Derek asked, clutching his coffee closer as he gazed at his friend in concern.

Julian pressed his lips together and downcast his eyes, glowering at the coffee as if willing to make it disappear. It took Logan a few seconds, but then he figured out what the problem was.

"Since when do you drink black coffee?"

"I am not," Julian replied tersely, narrowing his eyes to slits as he looked up, looking very much like an angry cat that was about to claw. "Do you see me _drinking this crap?_"

Derek silently shoved the sugar and the cream to him, and Julian gave it a hungry and longing look before scrunching his eyes shut. "No… No—I can't."

"Why the hell not?" Logan burst out, finally having enough of the antics of the primadonna. "You_have_ to! I'm not going to hang out with the whiny bitch you are right now! You _need_ that stuff!"

All the fury gone in a heartbeat, Julian slumped down on the table listlessly, burying his face in his arms. "I have to lose weight for a role, I have to stop the sugar," he mumbled, sighing dramatically. "Damn it, I'm going to _die_…"

Derek snorted, choked on his coffee, and burst out in a fit of laughter and painful coughs. "Are—are you _serious_? You _are_ going to die. Geez, can't you just slow down on the food instead?"

But Logan shook his head in obvious mirth, smirking as he argued. "Nah—have you any idea how much sugar he puts in one cup of coffee? It's like a mountain. A mountain of sugar. No wonder you have to cut down, Jules. Not that you need it," he added casually.

Julian straightened up, looking extremely disheveled and frustrated as he gave the blond a filthy look. "I. Hate. You."

Completely unfazed, Logan tipped an imaginary hat and grinned. "I know."

Shutting his eyes tightly, Julian grabbed the mug and poured the coffee in his mouth, the mug almost slipping from his fingers as he put it down with a loud smash. "This is absolutely_disgusting_. And I hate you _both_. So much."

Derek smirked, eyes dancing as he shoved Logan's shoulder. "I say one day before he succumbs to the sugar."

"I say one _hour_."

Julian looked as if he was going to punch them both right then and there—his cheeks flushed with anger and his eyes twinkling with rage—but he composed himself with difficulty. He lifted his chin lifted haughtily, and turned around without another word, striding from the common room like it was his own personal catwalk.

"Diva."

"Princess."


	25. Downpour

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P**

**This one's Jogan.**

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

* * *

><p><strong>Downpour<strong>

* * *

><p>The rain was pounding on the windows, the clattering sound making it almost impossible to hear someone speak, the dark clouds making it seem like night had already fallen.<p>

"Hey, D—" Logan strolled in the common room, wringing his arms in a thick vest against the cold. Derek looked up, annoyed for being disturbed from his homework. "Have you seen Jules?"

Derek nodded to one of the windows. "Crazy went outside."

Logan's eyes widened and he looked aghast as his eyes took in the pouring rain. "_Why?_"

"Because—" Derek looked down at his books again, not really interested in this conversation. "Because he's crazy."

Rolling his eyes, the prefect walked to the door—grabbing an umbrella on the way out. "Thanks Derek, you're a terrific help."

"I know, I know," the athlete smirked just when the door slammed shut.

It was ice and ice cold outside, and Logan was shaking violently as he clutched the umbrella tighter. It had no use, though, it was storming and the rain fell practically horizontal, beating on his face and soaking his clothes. He grunted a curse as he started to look for Julian.

Green eyes softened as he finally spotted the actor—standing all alone on the outskirts of the grounds, head tipped up to let the rain fall freely on his face. Even from this distance, Logan could see that his eyes were closed. His heart somersaulted as he realized how absolutely free and beautiful he looked right now.

Having no use for the umbrella anymore—he was already drenched anyway—he threw it aside and strode towards the brunet. The blond smiled softly as he stood in front of Julian—whose eyes were still closed, having no idea he wasn't alone anymore—and he leaned forwards to peck the actor's lips tenderly.

Brown eyes flew open, immediately narrowing and blinking rapidly in the heavy downpour. Julian's hair was plastered to his forehead and cheeks, the edges curling up a bit in the nape of his neck and over the top of his ears. Logan couldn't help but think that he looked very much like a drowned cat.

"Lo?" his voice seemed thick, and the blond frowned as he reached up to wipe a strand of hair from Julian's cheek.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Logan asked, half-bemused and half-worried. "You're going to get sick if you keep this up."

Julian shrugged carelessly and held his arms out, smirking slightly when Logan sighed in surrender and gathered him in a hug. The brunet snuggled his wet face in the blond's neck, and Logan shivered, tightening the embrace as he let his face fall in absolutely soaked, brown hair.

"Is there something wrong?"

Julian shook his head. "Can't I just like rain?"

"It's _cold_," Logan argued with raised eyebrows. "It's cold and it's wet. And it's going to make you—_us_—sick. You're going to make me sick. I hope you're happy."

Julian drew back with a full cheshire grin, very clearly happy. "But it can be _fun_," he breathed hoarsely, voice barely audible over the pouring rain that was still slamming into them with its vicious force and sharp strength.

"It's cold. It's wet. Not fun, Jules." Logan cocked one eyebrow, as if daring the actor to disagree, his green eyes obviously questioning Julian's mental health.

But then—completely out of nowhere—an enormous gust of wind unbalanced them and knocked them both over, the two boys crashing onto the soggy grass, all arms and legs as they tried to untangle themselves from each other.

Julian threw one look at Logan's disgruntled and downright miserable face, and he burst out in happy laughter, clutching the collar of Logan's shirt and pulling the blond in for a passionate kiss.

"We're going to be so sick tomorrow," Logan murmured against Julian's cold lips, shivers running up and down his spine—but whether they were from the cold or something else, he couldn't quite figure out.

"Well, then we'll have an excuse to lie in bed all day. Together," Julian mumbled back, climbing on top of his boyfriend—ignoring the soft curses as the blond was pushed further down into the soppy, wet, _muddy_ grass—and started nibbling on Logan's bottom lip.

"That is true, but—"

"Shut up, Wright, and kiss me," Julian demanded, his tongue and lips trailing down Logan's throat, shutting him up effectively.

And as the rain swelled to a cold, violent, and raging storm—the two boys were sprawled out over the grass field, clothes easily tearing in their wet state, brown and blond hair dripping, eyelashes heavy with water, skin slippery beneath their hands.

Logan grinned as he noticed that the cold was gone now—would never come back—replaced by a fury and a passion that only Julian could summon.

"_God_—I love you," he whispered, his hands traveling up Julian's spine, nails lightly raking over the wet skin.

The actor smirked as his fingers curled around a handful of hair, pulling Logan's head back to gain better access to his throat. "I know."


	26. Never Leaving

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P**

**This one's with the Tweedles. *gasp* A _non-Jogan drabble?_ XD It's the first time they find out about Fred's death *cries***

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

* * *

><p><strong>Never Leaving<strong>

* * *

><p><em>'No—no—no!' someone was shouting. 'No! Fred! No!'<em>

_And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them, and Fred's eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh etched upon his face_.

The book dropped out of Ethan's hands, landed heavily on the sheets, and two pairs of ice-blue eyes widened as they stared at it in pure incredulity. Their lips parted as the feeling of breathlessness started to take over. Rough, ragged gasps ripped violently from their chests—so harsh and thick that it hurt their throats, chests, hearts…

Under the sheets of the bed they were sitting in, their hands clasped together tightly, fingers entangling firmly, squeezing hard in absolute despair and disbelief. Evan pulled his brother closer, so that they were touching from shoulder to toe, so that they were absolutely positive the other was still here, would always _be_ here.

Pain, grief, and utter desolation tore through their bodies, slamming into them with a power that rivaled the heaviest of storms. And as always, they could feel every emotion radiate from the other, making it worse, making it even harder to breathe.

Twin grief. Twin hurt.

They looked up at each other simultaneously, and both read and understood the devastatingly clear emotion in each other's icy eyes immediately.

Fear.

Blinding, agonizing, white-hot, torturous fear. So forceful and so vicious, it yanked and ate at both of their hearts with the power of lions.

"Evan…"

"Ethan…"

Their hair blended together perfectly when Ethan laid his head on his twin's shoulder, Evan tilting his own head to the side to let it rest on his brother's.

"I…"

"Me, too."

"Don't _ever_…"

"You too."

"Deal."

"Deal."

Ethan turned his head, burying his face in the hollow between Evan's shoulder and neck—just as Evan buried his face in Ethan's hair. Ever in unison—they let their tears escape at the exact same time, the drops sliding over pallid cheeks and pale lips with the exact same speed.

Their lips moved at precisely the same time—Evan feeling the air of the words ghost over his throat, and Ethan feeling the brush of breath tickle in his hair—

"Don't leave me."


	27. Sick Day

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P (I just realized it's a lot of fluff XD But we need it _desperatly_, at least, _I_ do, with the upcoming Dalton-update and all... *twitch*)**

**This one's Jogan.**

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

* * *

><p><strong>Sick Day<strong>

* * *

><p>Logan slipped into their shared bedroom, his lips twitching up in a grin as he watched the scene playing out in front of him. Julian had stayed home sick, much against his own wishes, but Logan had insisted fervently, because he'd still felt a little feverish. But the actor had apparently decided to know better, and against Logan's demands, he was now out of bed.<p>

Julian was wearing Logan's sweatshirt, the one that was too big on him and hung over his hands so just his fingertips were visible. He'd teasingly called it his cuddle-shirt; so that when they were separated, he could just curl up and breathe deeply and pretend that Logan was hugging him.

Right now, Julian was pacing around the room, his glistening eyes fixed on his script, his free hand gesturing wildly in the air as he mouthed the words of his character. He was so lost into the world of his newest movie, he didn't notice how green eyes raked over his posture, lingering on his messy bed-hair and on his pink lips and his cheeks that were still a bit flushed with the last shreds of the fever.

Logan's expression softened and he slid behind Julian, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and kissing his neck. Julian quit murmuring his lines and he went completely slack as he leaned back and tilted his head to give Logan more room to kiss his throat.

"Didn't I tell you to stay in bed?" Logan muttered, his eyes closing as he felt Julian quiver with pleasure.

The brunet smiled and turned around, pressing his too hot face against Logan's cheek. His warm breath brushed over the singer's face, making blond locks sway gently. "Yes. But I didn't listen." Logan smiled halfheartedly at his thick voice, still slightly hoarse with sickness.

Julian threw his script on the desk and cupped Logan's face, kissing him with a tenderness that made Logan's heart soar. "You're back early," Julian whispered, his tongue moving over the blond's teeth, their lips still touching.

"Well yeah, I had to make sure you weren't dying, hadn't I?" Logan replied, grinning as he pulled Julian closer by his pants loops, his hands traveling over the brunet's slender body, feeling his contours through the thick sweater. "How are you feeling?"

"Hm."

"What hm?"

"Just hm."

"Jules," Logan pulled Julian's hair, demanding an elaboration, green eyes sparkling in concern and annoyance. "How are you feeling?"

Julian rested his head on Logan's shoulder, wrapping his arms around the blond's neck. "I'm fine, Lo. Stop worrying. It's just flue and it's almost over anyway."

"Yeah, you so didn't say that yesterday."

"Shut up."

"God—you're even more dramatic when you're sick, do you know that?"

"Logan, shut it."

"Diva."

"Ass."

Julian gasped when Logan suddenly moved and scooped him up, carrying the actor across the room and falling on the mattress. Grimacing, Julian rubbed his temple with two fingers, the other still firmly holding Logan's shirt.

"Yeah, that hurt my head. Thanks."

"Ah, so you're _not_ fine?"

"You are such a jerk."

Logan moved forward and kissed the soft skin behind Julian's ear. "I brought you lollipops…"

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Julian looked at him with innocent eyes. "You did?"

"Yep. Still a jerk?"

Julian grinned, pulling Logan closer by his hair. "Always a jerk."

"Fine. Then you'll always be a diva."

"Shut up. Just shut up and kiss me."

Logan's hands glided under the big sweatshirt, his touch feeling cold on Julian's warm skin. "You sure you don't get any more headaches?" he asked teasingly, bending low to trail kisses over Julian's exposed stomach.

"Can you just _shut up_?" the brunet swatted Logan's head. "I'm totally _fine_."

"Hm. If you say so—"

"I _do _say so."

"—then it must be true."

"It must be," Julian broke off in a moan as Logan's tongue circled around his navel, trailing dangerously low as he went on.

"Hm… you should be sick more often…"

"What? Two seconds ago you were concerned and now you actually want me to be sick?"

"Meh, okay—just _act_ like you're sick. You're home more often when you are."

Julian pursed his lips, pretending to consider this. "Can I have lollipops?" He grunted when Logan emptied his pockets and threw the candy in his face. "Your grace is astounding," he muttered as he picked one up. "But fine, I'll be sick more often. Just so you can have sex with me. That okay?"

"Deal," Logan sighed as he cupped Julian's face and started kissing him with half a smile playing around his lips. "But only fake-sick."

Grinning, Julian kissed him back happily. "Deal. Only fake-sick."


	28. Warm

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P**

**This one's Jogan.**

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

* * *

><p><strong>Warm<strong>

* * *

><p>Julian sneaked into the room stealthily, the shadows of the night doing a good job with hiding him from view as he tiptoed over the floor, the bed creaking only very softly and the mattress dipping only a tiny bit as he leaned over the sleeping boy under the blankets.<p>

His lips—pink and chapped from the cold winter air outside—quirked up in a mischievous smile, and he brushed his hair out of his eyes before scooping down and pushing his freezing nose and ice-cold cheek against Logan's comfortably warm neck.

The effect was instantaneous.

With a loud yell of shock, Logan jumped up, his arms flailing around, knocking Julian over, the bed making a loud squeaking noise as the blond sat up wildly. Green eyes—blurry and dazed with sleep—shot around the room, finally resting on the actor who was doubled over in silent laughter, hand clasped over his mouth, eyes a sparkling brown as they looked up.

Logan narrowed his eyes, falling back into the sheets with a harsh sigh. "Fuck you, Jules, I was having a nice dream."

Julian bit his lip, rolling onto his stomach and placing his hands under his chin as his eyes roamed longingly over the blond. The traces of exhaustion were clear as always—dark shadows under his eyes, sunken in cheeks, eyes carrying an ever-existing weariness—but he was surprisingly chipper for someone that looked that tired. He threw his feet in the air, crossing his legs as he smirked playfully.

"I hope for you that you were dreaming about me—" he started, but Logan put a finger over his lips almost immediately, shivering when the cold radiated through his warm body.

"Of course it was about you," he muttered, eyes bright and awake now, a soft smile playing around his lips. "I missed you," and he pouted, inviting Julian to lean forward and peck his lips sweetly.

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds, before a heavy shudder ran through Logan's body, and he pulled away grudgingly. "God—you're _freezing_."

Julian didn't pull back and the cold air whirled off of him enthusiastically, making Logan cringe back in the mattress. The brunet raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side. "You mean you don't want me to touch you?"

"But you're _cold_…"

"After I've been gone for _three weeks_?" his bottom lip jutted out in a pout, but Logan wrinkled his nose as he pushed himself deeper in the blankets.

"I liked you better in the dream," he murmured, the corners of his mouth twitching up teasingly. "At least you were warm in there…"

Julian snorted, threw his head back and laughed loudly—a full, hearty laugh that echoed through the room and filled Logan's heart with a happiness as bright as the sun.

The actor scooted closer, tugging off his socks and pushing his feet under the sheets and against Logan's bare legs. The blond shivered violently and scrunched his eyes shut as he spread his arms, welcoming Julian with a mixture of utter longing and slight reluctance.

Julian smiled and practically fell into Logan's arms, snuggling in his chest, their legs and arms tangling into each other as always. It was only when he felt Logan's warm body temperature radiate out to him that the actor began to feel the cold himself, and he curled up, pressing his cold cheek against the blond's throat in attempt to get warm.

Logan recoiled immediately. "You're doing this on purpose!" he protested, but he pulled Julian closer nonetheless. "Damn Jules, you're absolutely freezing."

Icy lips pressed an icy kiss on Logan's throat, and the tip of Julian's nose left a cold trail over the blond's collarbone. "You want to warm me up?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I? Not if I want to get some sleep tonight…"

Julian snorted and reached out to flatten his palms on Logan's bare stomach. The blond hissed as he shuddered and he curled up too, imprisoning Julian in his own body heat.

"Like we're going to get any sleep tonight," Julian whispered, and the playful mood was gone in a heartbeat—the feeling of three weeks apart blazing back, their embrace tightening as they cuddled closer.

"I missed you," Julian mumbled against Logan's skin.

"I missed you too," Logan whispered back, his breath as hot as torches as it bristled over Julian's chilly skin. "Are you warming up?"

His feet were still cold against Logan's legs, his arms and body still freezing and suffering from the occasional shivers—but there was a warmth brimming inside of the brunet that expanded his heart and filled it with the heat of thousands of suns.

Julian sighed, trying to relax in Logan's warm embrace, and nodded. "Yeah—I'm warming up."

"Good," Logan pressed a kiss in the brown locks of hair, his eyes half-lidded as he continued to caress Julian's face with tender kisses. "I _really_ missed you."

Julian smiled—feeling content, safe and happy—his eyes falling close as he felt the last shreds of cold melt away slowly.


	29. Your Sweetness

**Posting many drabbles at once tonight :P**

**This one's Jogan.**

**Don't forget to look at my Tumblr for more drabbles. I also have two Jogan fics uploaded on here: "Gunsight" and "Loved In Return". I would extremely appreciate it if you'd check that out :)**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I love you *blows kisses***

* * *

><p><strong>Your Sweetness<strong>

* * *

><p>Julian smirks as he walks in his room, his sepia gaze falling on the blond prefect who is lounging on his bed and reading a book. His pupils widen, and his heart leaps as he notices Logan is sucking languidly on a red lollipop. In one fluid action, the brunet has jumped on the bed and is kneeling next to Logan, licking his lips as his bright eyes stare hungrily at those pink lips that are sealed around the candy. Logan ignores him pointedly, green eyes traveling over his book without reading the words.<p>

Grinning, the actor winds his arms around his boyfriend's neck, leaning in to casually brush his lips over his ear.

"Where did you find that?" he feels the blond shiver in pleasure and anticipation, and Julian's pink lips twitch up in a smirk against Logan's sensitive skin.

Logan closes his eyes and grins against the lollipop as he answers. "Stole it out of your back-pocket this morning," he opens his eyes the tiniest bit—green orbs peeking through long, black lashes. "You never noticed."

"Hm." The actor tilts his head to the side, holding it so that their noses touch as he smiles his Cheshire-cat smirk. "You're doing it all wrong, though."

Raising an eyebrow, Logan moves his tongue over the lollipop seductively, his mouth corners quirking upwards when he sees Julian's teasing look falter for a second. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Julian whispers, his eyes fixed on the lollipop and how Logan's luscious lips move around it torturously slowly. He leans forward, grazing his own lips over the candy, touching Logan's in the process. "I'll show you how it's done."

The prefect shifts, snaking his arms around Julian's waist and pulling him on his lap—his book falling to the ground with a muted thud. Their foreheads touch when they both lean towards the candy, their eyes practically glued to the other's lips.

"Hm… really? …I'm not sure I want you to show me," Logan breathes, mischievous smirk and sparkling eyes betraying his definite need for the opposite.

Smiling a wicked smirk, Julian's eyes flicker up to meet a devastatingly green gaze before they return to the candy in between them. His cheeks flush when Logan's hands creep slowly in his back-pockets—squeezing gently and dragging him closer—and he gazes up again.

Logan feels Julian's warm breath on his face as the brunet starts licking the candy in a slow, teasing manner—his huge, brown eyes never leaving green, lips close enough to touch his boyfriend's while they work their magic on the candy.

Julian's tongue pokes from between his reddening lips, moving and stroking smoothly over the lollipop—and Logan growls softly, dying to have those lips on his own. When the actor is about to pop the candy out of his mouth, Logan can't stand it in any longer and he finally leans in, catching the other side of the lollipop and sucking gently.

The lollipop is imprisoned between two pairs of red lips and two pink tongues that dance around it lazily—not tasting its sweetness anymore, but instead captivated by the other's sweet fragrant.

Suddenly, Julian is scooped up by Logan, and they roll over, nearly choking on the lollipop as they crash into each other. The actor snatches the candy and throws it somewhere on the ground, his sticky hands cupping Logan's face and drawing it to him, their candy-lips touching and kissing long and passionate.

"You taste like candy," Logan whispers, his hands disappearing under Julian's clothes as he straddles him.

Cocking an eyebrow haughtily, Julian snickers. "I do? Well… you know what we do with candy…"

"I do?"

"I just showed you, Lo," Julian smirks crookedly as realization dawns on the blond.

"Ah," Logan grins and he stoops down, their next kiss all tongue and lips and teeth and the taste of saccharine, cherry candy. "I'm going to eat you up."

Julian laughs as Logan playfully begins to nibble on his cheeks, and he turns his head to catch his lips. His heart stammers as he looks into a brilliant green, and his next words are whispered against red lips—the produced vibrations sending shivers of delight through Logan's body. "I can't wait, Majesty."


	30. Colors

**Rane fluff :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Colors<strong>

* * *

><p>"Aah! What are you <em>doing—<em>?"

Reed backed away from where he sat on the old newspapers spread out over the floor, one of his feet hitting his painting and nearly knocking it over. Shane snorted, laughed, and reached out again, the paint on his finger leaving a thick, blue streak over Reed's cheek. Shane snorted again as he tried to repress his laughter, staring at his handiwork in admiration. Reed now sported two splotches of two different colors on his face; one blue line on his cheek and one messy streak on his other cheek that was now slowly trickling over his lips.

Contrary to the dancer—the small artist did _not_ look amused. He looked rather aggravated as he narrowed his eyes at Shane, who'd been busy all day, trying to steal away Reed's attention from his artwork out of pure, sheer boredom.

"I'm painting—" Shane laughed, trying to look innocent as he blinked his eyes rapidly.

Reed wiped his face, only making the streaks worse and Shane looked on in mirth—his bright eyes twinkling in mischief. "We have_ paper_ for that!" Reed retorted, wanting to sound angry, but failing miserably when he made the mistake to look up at Shane. The artist rolled his eyes with a huff and a small smile. "Oh my gosh—you're so—"

"—_amazing_? Brilliant? Genius? Adorable…?" interrupted Shane him, his smile threatening to split his face now. He leaned closer. "Come play with me now? I'm so _bored_."

"I have to finish this, Shane, you know that—"

"But you've been painting all _day_!" Shane protested, actually pouting as he watched Reed turn his back at him, his attention back to his artwork. "Reed…"

Reed stayed silent, a small smile spreading across his lips as he listened to the dancer's pleading voice.

"Darling… Sweetheart… Listen to me… Angel…?"

Hearing that last endearment, Reed couldn't possibly ignore him any longer, and he surrender easily. He burst out in a rich laughter and whipped around at once, scooping up some paint and pushing it in Shane's face. He giggled in delight as Shane sat paralyzed for a moment, crossing his eyes as he stared at the paint dripping from his nose.

But then the tall boy looked up and he smirked mischievously. Reed—who _knew_ this smile and who _knew_ what it meant—got up as quickly as possible and made a dash for the door. He didn't come further as two steps, though, before his foot hit a table and tackled him to the floor. Shane, who'd jumped up as soon as he saw the accident coming, proceeded to trap on some paint and he tripped as well, the paint exploding and splattering all over the two boy laying on the floor next to each other.

They both laughed uncontrollably, looking at each other, teasing each other as they pointed to all the colors in each other's hair and on their clothes and faces… Somewhere in the resuming chaos, Shane had rolled them over, and now Reed was lying on top of him, his warm brown eyes staring in his grey-green ones, and they smiled as they talked and chuckled and teased—

—and suddenly Reed leaned down and he pressed his paint-covered lips on Shane's, green and blue mingling as their kissed continued for ages, both boys tasting paint on top of their boyfriend's usual aroma.

Their hands touched, their fingers intertwined, the sudden silence was serene, peaceful, passionate…

_Splash!_

Shane nearly screamed, choking on his own yell as he widened his eyes in shock. Reed burst out in peals of laughter, doubling over as he stared at the huge amount of bright pink paint now dripping of Shane's head.

Shane narrowed his eyes. "You little—" he laughed, getting up and trying to grab the small artist.

"That's what you get for distracting me—!" Reed choked out, trying to get away, failing, and screaming as Shane grabbed him and threw him on the bed.

"You're going to pay for that—"

Reed giggled as Shane buried his face in his neck, getting paint _everywhere_, and the small boy threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck, pushing him closer and looking at him mischievously.

"Bring it on."


	31. It's What You Do To Me

**Jogan. It's sort of a songfic, you should read it with this song playing: Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's**

**Enjoy :)**

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><p><strong>It's What You Do To Me<strong>

* * *

><p>Logan looked out the window of the apartment he shared with Julian, his eyes distant as he listened to his boyfriend chatter through the phone. The actor was in New York, filming a movie that promised to be groundbreaking and "absolutely phenomenal". Logan had watched the trailer and he'd seen the photos in the magazines—Julian with a leather jacket and his hair falling in his face, the bright lights of New York City reflected in his sparkling eyes, his stance strong and confident, his smirk inviting and fake.<p>

He looked beautiful, shining brighter than Times Square, his brilliant gaze looking up from the pages and drilling right into Logan's. It made his absence even more painful.

Julian had been gone for three months now and he wasn't going to come back for another three weeks. Time didn't want to hurry up—the weeks, the days, the minutes ticking by horrendously slowly.

Logan laughed as Julian told him about the vibrant city and the wild parties and the hours and hours of filming, and the blond realized he missed laughing like that. He wished he was with Julian, but he was stuck here, a thousand miles away, busy with school and music and things he'd forgotten about the minute Julian had called.

"I wish you were here, Lo," Julian breathed, his voice immeasurably soft after the initial excitement of telling his stories.

Logan leaned his forehead against the glass and watched as the flashing lights of the cars zoomed by over the highway below him. He clutched the phone tighter and closed his eyes.

"I miss you."

Julian was silent for a while and Logan thought he heard a shaky breath. "Just three more weeks."

Logan scoffed and smirked, shaking his head against the window, not feeling comforted at all. "Just three more weeks. They really go by like fucking seconds, right?"

Julian started to reply, but he got interrupted by yelling in the background, and he cursed sharply. "Shit, I have to go."

"Hm. If you have to."

"Yeah, I kind of really have to," Julian snorted as the screams increased in volume. He yelled something back, using some very colorful insults, and for once Logan was unhappy those insults weren't directed at him.

"Talk to you tomorrow?"

Julian being pissed off at him would at least mean they'd be together.

The actor hummed in the phone. "Tomorrow. Oh, and Lo?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you, too."

The connection ended and the phone clattered to the floor as Logan punched the window. It didn't break, it didn't even crack, and Logan fumed as he stomped through the room.

Three more weeks.

* * *

><p>Logan jolted awake, rolling over and nearly falling off the bed in surprise. When it finally registered in his mind that the piercing ringing of his phone had woken him up, he cursed irritably and grabbed it from his nightstand.<p>

"_What_?"

"Oh hi, Majesty, nice to speak to you, too."

Green eyes flew open and his heart drummed against his ribcage as Logan sat up straight, instantly wide awake. "Jules?"

"Who else, you idiot?"

"Fuck—" Logan covered his eyes with his free hand and fell back in his pillow. "Have you any idea what _time _it is, Julian? Some of us have _work_ in the morning, ass."

"God, Logan, I'd forgotten how much of a jerk you are. I'll just hang up again—don't want to disturb your _precious_ beauty-sleep— 'Some of us have work in the morning'," Julian scoffed as he repeated the blond. "What do you think _I_ have in the morning—?"

Logan huffed, dragging his hand over his face in annoyance. "Okay, okay—I'll listen, you drama queen... What's wrong?"

It stayed silent and Logan could suddenly imagine Julian lying in his bed, all by himself, clutching the phone to his ear with the same feelings of desperation and longing as Logan. He couldn't hold back a smile as he remembered having Julian in bed—warm and naked skin, passionate kisses, rough hands...

Logan forced his fingers to loosen their tight grasp around the phone.

His annoyance was gone as quickly as it had come.

"I miss you, too," he whispered and he heard Julian release his breath.

"Can you sing something?" Julian asked and Logan felt even worse, knowing Julian would never swallow his pride like this if he'd been feeling fine.

It was one thing for himself to feel lonely and miserable. It was an entirely different story when Julian was feeling the same thing.

So he turned over and put the phone on speaker, lying it beside him on the pillow. He hugged Julian's pillow against his chest—when he closed his eyes and buried his nose in it, he could easily pretend he was hugging Julian—and started singing softly.

_Hey there Delilah_

_Don't you worry about the distance_

_I'm right there if you get lonely_

_Give this song another listen_

_Close your eyes _

_Listen to my voice, it's my disguise_

_I'm by your side_

When the sun rose, they were still talking, singing, whispering and laughing—both feeling infinitely better and endlessly worse when they eventually had to go back to work.

"Two weeks and one day," Julian whispered in the phone, and Logan laughed and nodded.

"Two weeks and one day," he repeated, his heart exploding as he mentally crossed another day off the calendar.

* * *

><p>The magazine crumpled in his hands and his green eyes were blazing in fury as he read the text under the pictures. The paparazzi had gone too far with this one. Much, much too far.<p>

Two pictures of his boyfriend were gazing up at Logan. One of an utterly overworked 24-year-old actor, with bruise-like shadows under his eyes, his cheeks pale and slightly sunken-in as he waved off the cameras. The other one was of a much younger Julian—the Julian who'd taken _that_ movie and who'd lost too much weight and who'd started smoking as a result.

Under the photographs they'd written a horrible comparison; about how much the actor started to resemble his 14-year-old self again and whether he was going to end like so many former child-stars ended. "Why would he want to go back to that state of utter misery?" "Was he smoking again?" "Was he losing weight again?" "Could he possibly be using drugs?" "Is he killing himself?"

But all Logan could see in the most recent picture was not someone who'd started smoking again and not someone who'd lost too much weight. He just saw Julian—_his_ Julian—who was so tired he couldn't muster the energy to straighten his back like usual, who was so drained he couldn't be bothered to smile at the cameras, who was so utterly overworked he'd even forgotten to wear his sunglasses to hide it all from the world.

It made Logan feel sick to his stomach that people were bringing up _that_ time again. That horrible time where Julian had been so ill and so miserable and so weak he hadn't even protested when Derek and Logan had to carry him to bed.

Logan ripped the magazine in two and threw it in the trashcan, snatching his phone out of his pocket and dialing Julian.

"Yeah—?" the actor's voice sounded drained and guarded, and Logan winced hearing it.

"Hey Jules."

Logan could hear Julian sigh in relief and his voice was much gentler when he greeted him back. "Hi Lo."

"I read the magazines—"

"Fuck, don't believe them, Logan—"

"Relax, moron," Logan interrupted him with a smile in his voice. "Of course I don't believe them. I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I'll survive."

Logan frowned, not satisfied with the answer. "But are you alright?"

"Hm, sure. You know what I miss?" Julian asked instead, his voice sounding dreamy and faraway.

"What?"

"You. In bed. With me."

Logan felt a sharp pang in his heart and his stomach twisted in a horrible longing. "Yeah, I know that feeling."

Julian sighed impatiently and even through the distance, Logan knew he was rubbing his face, looking flustered and chaotic like he always did when he was like this. "One we—"

"One week and three days. I'm counting too, Jules."

"...good."

* * *

><p>"Logan, Logan, Logan—!"<p>

Logan jerked back from the phone in surprise, holding the device away from his ear as the actor yelled in it, absolutely wild in excitement. It was the first time in months that he'd heard Julian as enthusiastic as now.

But now was not a good time for him to scream through the phone.

The chair screeched over the floor as Logan stood up, ignoring the indignant glares of his classmates as he strode through the room. "What the hell, Julian—?" He walked out of the classroom, straight past the teacher, not even bothering to excuse himself. "What the hell are you yelling about? I'm in _class_."

"_You_ picked up the phone," was the smug reply.

Logan walked through the hallway, trying to find a spot where he'd have a little bit of privacy. "I thought you'd be _discrete_. How should I've known you'd start screaming like a banshee—"

But it clearly didn't interest Julian and he chattered right through Logan's sentence. "We wrapped filming _four days_ earlier, Lo! I'm coming home! I'll be on a plane tonight and I'll be home tomorrow—!" the actor was breathless and Logan nearly let his phone slip from his fingers.

"You're—" his heart was pounding so loudly, he was afraid it'd break out of his chest.

"—coming back early," Julian beamed, absolutely elated.

"_Finally_," Logan breathed and he dropped on a bench in the hallway, tipping his head back and letting it rest against the wall. "God, you took long."

"Hey—" Julian replied with a smirk in his voice, "—I'm Julian Larson, I let people wait for me and I get away with it. I'm just fashionably late."

"Fashionably late my ass," Logan muttered.

Julian laughed, and the need to kiss him and to hold him and to fuck him got so huge all of a sudden, it physically hurt.

"You'd better not be any later, Larson."

"I won't, Wright."

Logan smiled. "Hey Jules?"

"Yeah?"

"Just one more—"

Julian interrupted him again, sighing happily into the phone. "Just one more day."

* * *

><p>That morning Logan skipped his medication for the first time in four months, knowing that he wouldn't need them when Julian would be with him again. He felt happier and more balanced than he'd felt in months.<p>

It was busy on the airport—people running on and off, their expressions varying between angry and excited. Julian's plane was supposed to land in eight minutes and even though Logan was trying to control his impatience, he was failing miserably. He was bouncing on his toes, his fingers were fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, and his eyes were solely focused on the digital clock that was slowly counting down the minutes.

_Go faster, go faster, go faster_.

Six minutes.

The longing was a constant hurt at this point. Logan's arms ached to hold Julian, he wanted to feel his warmth and his body against his chest, he needed to smell him, taste him, touch him. Everything. He wanted him. He wanted Julian. He wanted Julian _now_.

But then the screen with the time suddenly changed and instead of the minutes, there was one word blinking down at him in angry red letters.

_Arrived_.

Logan almost whimpered, his heart threatening to leap out of his chest. After _another_ five minutes, the people finally started to file out of the plane and into the airport. Some of them started running, going straight for family or friends, while others walked away alone.

"Where the fuck are you, Jules," Logan mumbled under his breath, standing on his tiptoes as he carefully scanned the crowd. His stomach twisted as he finally—finally, finally, _finally_—recognized the brown, tousled hair and the sunglasses and the tired smile plastered on a pale face.

As Julian pushed his sunglasses on top of his head, his eyes met his boyfriend's and he smirked the Cheshire grin Logan had missed so much. The actor dropped the bag in his hands and even though he was absolutely exhausted and his muscles screamed in protest, he instantly broke into a sprint.

They clashed together and Logan immediately wrapped his arms around the brunet, burying his nose in his brown hair and taking a deep breath. His heart leaped when Julian's scent hit him—it smelled even better than he'd remembered.

"I missed you," Julian murmured, nuzzling his face in Logan's shoulder and pressing kisses on his throat. "Fuck, I missed you."

"_You_ left _me_, you idiot," Logan mumbled, not at all aggravated, just happy—so, _so_ happy—that he could embrace Julian again. "Fuck you and your job."

"I know," Julian chuckled, his fingers digging in Logan's shirt as he pushed himself closer. "Fuck my job." He reached up and his lips crashed against Logan's. Logan immediately reacted and he parted his lips, leaning down to deepen the kiss.

"You should stop working," Logan whispered in Julian's throat and he felt the brunet shiver with pleasure. His arms tightened around Julian, not really caring whether the actor was still able to breathe or not. "I'll stop studying and we'll just make music in bars. We'll be fine."

Julian scoffed, poking Logan's side with his finger. "Yeah—I'll just do that."

They stood there for a while, not talking and not moving—just embracing each other, smelling each other, kissing each other, relishing in the feeling of being reunited again. It was peaceful and quiet and perfect.

_They_ were perfect.

Logan was the first to break the kiss and he pecked the brunet on his lips as he rested his forehead against Julian's. They gazed in each other's eyes and Logan untangled one arm to stroke his thumb over the shadows under Julian's eyes.

"Bed?"

Julian sighed and he nodded gratefully. "Yeah."

Logan smiled and he kissed Julian again, his hands slipping in Julian's back pockets and pushing him closer. "I love you. Don't ever leave again, stupid diva," he murmured.

Reaching up, Julian laid his arms around Logan's neck and he nearly strangled the blond as he crushed his boyfriend against him. "I love you, too. And I won't ever leave again," he mumbled, his voice almost unintelligible as he spoke quietly against Logan's lips. "Except when it's for a movie. Or a photo shoot. Or an interview. Or when Derek gets stranded in the middle of nowhere again, because he got kicked out. Then I'm kinda forced to leave."

Logan clacked his tongue and turned Julian around, picking up the actor's bag as they finally started to walk out of the airport. "Ass."

They kept their arms around each other and Julian rested his head against Logan's shoulder, his eyes half-closed. "Jerk."

"Fuck you."

Julian smirked and rested his chin on Logan's shoulder as he looked up. "If you insist."

Logan tipped his head to the side and laid it on top of Julian's, smirking mischievously. "I insist."

* * *

><p>It was late when they drove back home, the bright moon and stars providing the only light in the darkness. In the passenger seat, Julian leaned heavily against Logan's shoulder, staring dreamily out of the window as they raced over the highway.<p>

"What was that song you were singing a few weeks ago?" he murmured quietly, shifting so he could look at Logan.

Logan shrugged and smiled serenely. "Just a song."

"Hm," Julian closed his eyes and pulled up his legs, curling up in Logan's side. He was tired and he wanted nothing more than to go to bed with his boyfriend. He'd missed having Logan sleep next to him. "Sing it again."

Logan scoffed. "Is that a demand—?"

"Yes."

Logan looked away from the road to watch Julian lie against him, his bright eyes softening as they took in the half-sleeping actor.

"Fine."

"Good."

"I spoil you too much."

"How it's supposed to be," Julian grinned with his eyes still closed. "Love you. Now, sing it."

"Yeah yeah, love you, too," Logan smirked before he relaxed in his seat and softly started singing.

_Hey there Delilah_

_You be good and don't you miss me_

_Two more years and you'll be done with school_

_And I'll be making history like I do_

_You'll know it's all because of you_

_We can do whatever we want to_

_Hey there Delilah here's to you_

_This one's for you_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_What you do to me._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading :) Reviews would be awesome, and if you like my writing and want more; follow me on bourbonrose . tumblr . com. I have a lot of drabbles there that I won't post on here :)<strong>


	32. Bring It On

**Pairing: Jogan**

* * *

><p><strong>Bring It On<strong>

* * *

><p>Julian huffed and turned around, wiping his hands on his dirty jeans, his white shirt torn and stained with oil. There was a thick streak of grease on his cheek and when he pushed up his sunglasses, he was fully aware of his filthy hair, making him feel thoroughly disgusted by his appearance.<p>

And Logan—lounging on a chair, looking way too comfortable and way too relaxed— didn't make it any better.

"Care to help me out, _Your Majesty_?" Julian sneered, voice laced with sarcasm and utter aggravation. Logan merely snorted and leaned back against the wall, his sparkling eyes shamelessly raking over the dirty, sweaty actor.

"Nope," he grinned, eyes touching Julian's before they sneaked back to the actor's toned arms and tanned skin, glistening with sweat and oil.

Julian's eyes flashed. "We're fixing _your_ car, you ass," he snapped back, his impatience growing with the second.

When Logan still didn't react and merely kept staring at his boyfriend's body, completely unashamed and completely distracted—Julian wheeled around, grabbed a filthy cloth and hurled it at the blond, absolutely furious. Logan looked up just in time and snatched the red fabric out of the air, pretending to be utterly bored as he casually hung back.

"Your aim sucks," he purred, eyes mischievous as he glanced at the fuming brunet.

"And your _everything_ sucks," Julian retorted sharply, his hand waving through the air as he gestured in the general direction of Logan. "You're a fucking asshole—letting me do all the fucking work around here."

Logan raised an eyebrow and smirked, planting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward arrogantly. "Care to remind me _who_ broke _my_ car in the first place, Julian?"

Julian narrowed his eyes to slits, expression venomous as he stalked forward and drilled his finger in Logan's chest. "You fucking distracted me, you _jerk_. You're not supposed to fucking touch me _there_ when I'm trying to _park_—" he hissed, annoyance and indignation dripping from every syllable.

Rolling his eyes, Logan stood up and pushed Julian back against the hood of his car. "Clearly, you overreacted, you drama queen."

Julian glared up murderously, as if daring Logan to touch him. He was exhausted, covered in filth and grease, and absolutely irritated with everything that talked or breathed. All he wanted was to just go back home and sleep it off. "I was _not_ overreacting," he muttered, his hands on Logan's chest as he attempted to push him away.

Logan grinned, enjoying Julian's aggravation way too much. "Sure, Jules. And that's why you rammed my car against a _brick_ _wall_?"

"Fuck you," Julian snapped, but as he tried to get away, Logan put his hands on either side of him against the car and leaned closer. Green eyes raked over Julian's face—taking in his blazing eyes and his flushed cheeks and the streak of grease just on his cheek-bone...

Logan bent down and buried his nose in the hollow between Julian's shoulder and throat. "You smell like sex," he murmured, turning his face and licking Julian's throat slowly. The effect was instantaneous. The actor's protests melted away in a loud moan, his fingers clenching Logan's shirt as the blond grabbed his ass and pushed him closer.

"And you—you just—_smell_," Julian gasped, a feeble attempt to keep the fight going. Logan's hands were hot on his skin as he dipped back over the hood of the car, his back arching gracefully. Logan chuckled and tipped down, his warm weight on his boyfriend's chest as he continued kissing the sensitive skin just under Julian's jaw line. The actor moaned and closed his eyes in surrender. "Aw, fuck you—"

"Hm—you're so fucking hot, Jules," Logan breathed roughly, his thumb coming up to stroke over the smudge of dirt on Julian's cheek.

"Sure," Julian tilted his head, giving Logan's tongue more room to move. His hands moved up, gliding under Logan's shirt and over his waist and abs, down to the waistband of his jeans. "Guess you're hot, too."

Logan's lips twitched up in a smirk, the movement tickling over Julian's skin. "I'm always hot."

Julian snorted, his lips catching Logan's roughly. "I'm gonna slap you if you continue talking," he murmured, voice hoarse and demanding.

Logan chuckled but didn't say anything, his hands roaming over Julian's body hungrily, his breath coming in hasty gasps as they pushed their lips closer. They rolled over, Logan's back scraping over the car, the buckles of his jeans leaving deep scratches on the delicate paint. Julian smirked and practically climbed on top of the blond, straddling him as he had his arms around Logan's shoulders, fingers tugging impatiently on blond curls as they continued to kiss passionately.

Julian mumbled something unintelligible, one of his hands coming down to unzip Logan's jeans and yank them down. Logan pushed his hips up, his hands cupping the actor's face and his fingers tangling in brown strands of hair as he deepened their kiss.

Pushing himself from the car, Logan rolled them over yet again, growling softly as he felt Julian nibble on his bottom lip. But then the metal of the car vanished from beneath them, and before they could react, they slipped off the hood and landed painfully on the hard ground. Logan fell on his back, his head banging against the concrete floor, and he groaned painfully. Julian—lying heavily on his boyfriend's chest—merely smirked his Cheshire grin and patted Logan's shoulder sweetly.

"That's what you get for not helping me fix your car," he smiled innocently, pressing a teasing kiss against Logan's temple.

Logan growled—in pain and irritation—and he muttered a curse as he reached up and guided Julian's face down, their lips crushing together again. "I'm going to fuck you so hard, you're going to regret that you ever crashed my car."

Julian snorted derisively, his hands pulling Logan's boxers down as he raked his tongue over the blond's lips. "I sincerely doubt that, Your Majesty."

Rolling over, Logan straddled Julian and yanked his jeans down, his eyes dark and dangerous as he looked up. "We'll just see about that."

The corners of Julian's lips twitched up in a wicked smirk and he tilted his head as he answered Logan's look daringly. "Bring it on, Lo."


	33. Voicemails

**Pairing: Jogan**

* * *

><p><strong>Voicemails<strong>

* * *

><p>It had been a long day on set and around midnight, the entire cast of Something Damaged had crashed in Clark's trailer. The girls had all found a spot on the couch or on the bed and most of the guys were splayed out over the floor, utterly drained and not willing to move ever again.<p>

Julian was lounging in the only chair, his feet propped up on the coffee table, his head tilted to rest on the back of the chair.

"I thought I was going to die in that action scene," he sighed tiredly, fishing his phone out of his back pocket as he heard Patrick snort derisively.

"_You_ thought you were going to die? You are _such_ a diva. _I_ was the one who had to fall on the concrete floor from the windowsill a thousand times over, because _someone_—" he whacked Izzy's leg, who kicked him back instantly, "—got her lines wrong the whole time."

"You had a safety line around your waist," Cameron remarked from where he was sitting against the couch and between Natasha's legs, his eyebrows raised mockingly. "You were completely fine."

"And _I _had to run through the entire fucking hallway a thousand times over to pretend to see if you were alright," Julian grumbled, his face illuminated by his mobile phone, his brow furrowing as he noticed the many missed calls from Logan.

"You're overreacting," Patrick rolled his eyes as he laid down on the floor. "The hallway wasn't that long."

"It totally was," Cameron muttered, leaning back against the couch and prodding Nathan with his toe. "You still alive, Nate?"

"Shh," the brunet mumbled, laying his finger against his lips without opening his eyes. "I'm sleeping."

Julian looked up and laughed at him. "And they tell me _I'm_ overreacting. You barely did anything today!" He pressed the dial button and brought the phone to his ear, laughing when Nathan flipped him the finger.

Marcia laid her head on Natasha's shoulder, playing with her hair as she craned her neck to look at Clark. "Clark, do you have anything to eat around here?"

Clark reached out to a cabinet, pulling out a few bags of chips and a few bars of chocolate, throwing those to the girls on the couch and his bed. Alicia looked around at Julian, smirking when she noticed his preoccupied expression.

"Who left you sex-messages, J?" she teased, throwing some chips in his direction.

Julian sent her a dark look, but ignored her as he focused back on his voicemails, a fond smile playing around his lips as he listened to his boyfriend on the other line.

"_Hey Jules. How are you doing in that hellhole in LA? Derek's been bugging me about calling you, even though we all know you're way too much of a primadonna princess to ever pick up your damn phone. But you know, whatever. I'll manage with voicemails, I guess. Anyway, call me when you have time. Bye, Jules."_

Julian skipped immediately to the next message, brushing away the chocolate that was pushed into his direction.

"Come on, J, eat something. You're way too skinny—"

"Not hungry, go away," he muttered, bringing the phone to his ear again and poking out his tongue at Cameron, who was waving the candy in the air, just close enough for Julian to smell it.

Cameron smirked, shrugging as he popped the chocolate in his mouth, licking his lips teasingly. "Your loss, man."

Julian rolled his eyes, focusing on Logan's voice instead.

"_Julian. I hate you. And you haven't picked up the phone in three fucking days and I don't care _when_ you're listening to this or _where_ you are when you listen to this. Just know that—_ooh—_just know that_—hmm—_I don't miss you at all_—hmm-_this feels _so_ good, Jules—_jesus—_I'm not kidding_—hmm—"

Julian's feet fell from the table with a loud bang and his eyes flew wide open, his heart thrumming loudly against his chest, nearly falling off the chair. His fingers clenched around his phone as he listened with open mouth to the sounds that were coming from Logan's mouth.

The moans—the delicious, luscious, teasing moans, filled with so much desire and lust it twisted Julian's stomach—reached out to him through the phone and sent adrenaline racing through his body. Julian bit his lip and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, trying to calm down a bit.

This was ridiculous. He shouldn't react like this. Even when he hadn't had sex with his boyfriend for over three weeks—he should not react like this.

But it wasn't over yet, and the next few lines made his jaw go slack and his eyes widen.

"_Yeah. I'm totally doing what you're think I'm doing,"_ Logan let out a long moan that almost ended in a hiss, "—_and because you're not fucking picking up the phone right now, you'll never—_god—_know_—hm—_the details and you'll never get to have phone sex—_oh god—_with me. Because—_hmm—_I'll never do this_—ooh—_again_," Logan was practically growing now and it was clear that... whatever... whatever it was he was doing... it was doing its work _good_.

The rest of the cast stared at Julian with curious expressions as the brunet sat absolutely frozen in his chair, his mouth hanging open, sharp gasps escaping between his pink lips. His cheeks were flushed and his sepia eyes were as wide as saucers as they stared unblinkingly into space.

"Oh my god," he breathed suddenly, his voice raspy, his cheeks getting even redder and his eyes even wider. "Oh my god."

"Uhm," Clark reached out and poked Julian's leg. "You alright, J?"

But Julian didn't respond, didn't even move when Patrick got up and waved his hand in front of his face.

"Earth to Julian," he said loudly. "J?"

"_You're not going to—"_ Logan growled deeply and Julian's breath hitched, the fingers of his free hand curling into a tight fist. _"You're not going to believe—_hmm_—what I bought_—oh my god_—if you were only home now,"_ he moaned, and Julian could practically imagine him throwing his head back and pushing his hips up, and..._"Ah well, guess we'll have to wait until you come back home._ _Or when you'll learn to—_oh god yes_—pick up your damn phone_—hmm_—bye, Jules."_

And with that, the line disconnected, and Julian was left with raging emotions whirling wildly through his body.

"Oh my god," he muttered again, and when the haze finally cleared and he became aware of his surroundings, he noticed all the incredulous stares directed to him.

"That... was totally a sex-message," Marcia snickered, taking in Julian's flustered appearance. "Oh my god, J, what did he _do_?"

"I—" Julian swallowed and stood up from the chair, almost tipping it over and tumbling over himself as he fled the trailer, "I have to go—see you all later—!" He ignored the roaring laughter of his cast mates as he slammed the door close and sprinted to his own trailer.

He had dialed Logan's number even before he'd reached his bed and yanked down his jeans.

"_Yes?"_ Logan's perfectly innocent voice filed through the phone and Julian wanted to punch him _so_ badly. But another need was bigger, demanding his attention _stat_.

"Do that thing again," he breathed, hating how pleading his tone sounded.

Logan snorted and burst out laughing. _"If you insist."_

Julian moaned, almost pained, and pressed his back in the mattress in longing. _"Now_."


	34. Jet Lag

**Pairing: Jogan**

* * *

><p><strong>Jet Lag<strong>

* * *

><p>It was pitch-black in the bedroom, the moonlight sneaking through the window the only source of light, her beams falling on the bed and illuminating the persons in there. Julian was lying on his side, his head resting on his elbow as he stared at Logan. He pursed his lips in boredom, sighing loudly as he glanced at the clock and back at the sleeping blond.<p>

"Lo? You awake?"

He waited a few seconds, but when Logan didn't react, Julian rolled over on his back, wide awake as he stared at the ceiling. He was so bored. _So_…bored.

Without looking, Julian reached out with his arm, poking Logan's arm surreptitiously. Logan murmured something, burying his face deeper in his pillow and sighing sleepily. Julian turned around again, curling up as he gazed at his boyfriend.

Logan never looked as relaxed as when he slept. Not a trace of arrogance, not a glint of anger, absolutely nothing but peace coloring his expression when he rested—his pink lips slightly parted, his bright, vivid eyes hidden from the world. Quietly shifting closer, Julian traced his pinkie over Logan's full lips, down his chin, his throat, his collarbones...

...and he was bored again.

Logan still hadn't opened his eyes and Julian was starting to get fed up now, flicking his finger against Logan's earlobe to try and wake him up.

"_Logan_," he hissed, poking Logan's side harshly. "If you don't wake up right now I'm going to be so pissed at you in the morning." He stared at Logan in disbelief, pushing himself up as he poked his boyfriend again. "Are you ignoring me? _Logan—_!"

Logan muttered something unintelligible and rolled over, causing Julian's face to lit up in anticipation—but when Logan merely threw his arms around the actor and crushed him painfully against his chest, Julian squeaked in surprise and cursed vehemently.

"No—_Logan_—breathe—Lo, can't breathe—" he planted his hands against Logan's chest, pushing with all his power while Logan snuggled even closer. "Lo—_jesus_—why do you have to be so fucking strong, huh?" He tried to push harder, his breath leaving him in short gasps as he tried to get away. "You stupid—_nngh_—stupid, ignorant—_Logan!_"

And Logan's eyes finally flew open, his green eyes surprisingly bright in the darkness as they zoomed in on the breathless actor. He frowned, loosening his embrace as he glared at his boyfriend.

"What the fuck, Jules?"

"You were trying to _murder_ me," Julian snapped, relaxing in Logan's arms as he fell on his back, trying to control his heavy breathing.

"That's what you get for trying to fucking wake me up in the middle of the night," Logan muttered irritably, closing his eyes and snuggling deeper under the sheets. "Fucking asshole."

Julian's eyes widened and he shoved Logan's arms off of him as he sat up straight. "You were _awake_ the _entire_ time?"

Logan scowled, his eyes still closed as he reached out and pressed a finger somewhere against Julian's cheek. "Shh, it's sleep-time. You can yell tomorrow."

Huffing, Julian swatted his hand away, his eyes glinting furiously as they narrowed in on Logan—who was still trying to sleep. "You were _awake_ the entire time and you _ignored_ me?"

"I just wanted to fucking sleep, Julian. You should try it. It's what normal people do at night. Go. To. Sleep."

"Fuck you," Julian blew a stray strand of hair out of his face and dropped backwards, glowering stubbornly at the shadows on the ceiling. "I can't."

Logan sighed, sounding horrendously tortured, his voice a tad too controlled when he inquired, "And why not?"

"Jet lag," Julian muttered.

"And what do you want _me_ to do about it?"

Julian pouted, shrugging uncomfortably. "How should _I_ know? It's _your_ job as my boyfriend to think of something."

There was a terse pause and Julian could practically feel Logan's irritation building. "So—you woke me up for nothing."

"...maybe." Julian smirked, turning around and meeting Logan's exasperated glare happily. "Basically."

Still glaring, Logan stretched out his arms and beckoned Julian closer. "Come here, you idiot. Stay still, don't complain and let me sleep."

With all his dignity intact, Julian scooted closer and snuggled in Logan's embrace. "If you don't squash me."

"If you don't wake me up again," Logan shot back, voice thick with sleep. "Shut up now."

"Yeah yeah," Julian pressed his cheek against Logan's chest, and as he listened to his boyfriend's steady breathing and the calm beats of his heart, he felt sleep settle in already. "Thanks."

"I told you to shut up."

"Whatever, Logan."

"_Shut. Up_."

Rolling his eyes, Julian leaned up and pressed a lingering kiss on Logan's collarbone, his tongue flicking out teasingly. The corners of Logan's mouth lifted up in a small smile and Julian grinned as he curled up and closed his eyes, finally falling asleep.


	35. Fever

**Pairing: Jogan**

* * *

><p><strong>Fever<strong>

* * *

><p>Logan buried his face in Julian's hair, brown hair swaying softly with every breath. He tightened his arms around the brunet and pulled him closer, shivering when Julian snuggled closer, his back pressed against Logan's chest. The actor murmured something, but the words were lost in his pillow and Logan merely hummed in response. <p>

The sunlight from outside poured through the window, soaking the two boys in a pool of warmth and light. The sheets were tangled around their legs and their shirts were moist with sweat from when the fever started sending waves after waves of searing fire through their bodies.

Julian's lashes fluttered, his nose wrinkled, and his whole body shocked forcefully when he sneezed. He sniffed and opened his eyes, voice thick as he uttered a feeble curse.

"I hate you."

Logan curled up closer around the actor and shook his head slowly, his head pounding with every movement. "It's your own fault," he replied hoarsely. "You insisted on kissing me even though I _said_—"

"You said you '_weren't feeling very well'_," Julian muttered resentfully, grabbing Logan's hands and pulling his arms tighter around his waist. "You didn't say you were freaking _contagious_," he sneezed again and moaned miserably, burying his face in the pillow. "Oh god, I'm disgusting."

"You're not disgusting," Logan rasped, rolling his eyes before closing them. A fit of coughs wrecked his body, and his chest and throat seared with pain, feeling like someone had stuck white-hot knives in them. "_Ow_."

"Yes, I _am_ disgusting," Julian continued after the coughs died down. They'd given up on being worried about each other and asking "are you okay?" a long time ago. "And _you're_ disgusting too. I hate being sick and I hate you for making us sick."

"Fine," Logan breathed tiredly, resting his burning forehead against Julian's neck, the heat of the actor's skin not relieving his fever at all. "I hate you too."

It was silent for a while, but then Julian shifted uncomfortably, scrunching his eyes shut as intense shivers ran up and down his spine. He sniffed, feeling utterly and completely miserable. "Lo?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm cold again." Julian untangled his hand from Logan's and reached down to grab the sheets, his arm falling down heavily on the mattress when it was clear they were well out of his reach. "You get the sheets."

Logan's fingers grazed over the thick blankets, but when he tried to drag them up, the sheets wouldn't move as they were twisted too tightly around their legs. "You have to move," Logan mumbled, his eyes still closed.

Julian frowned. "No. You move."

"If you want sheets you'll have to move. Don't be an ass, Jules," Logan retorted wearily, opening his eyes to glare at nothing in particular.

Julian sighed tiredly and with his mind affected by fever, he suggested, "Maybe we could call Derek? He'll take care of the sheets—"

"My phone's too far away."

"Hm… mine's gone."

"…now I'm cold, too."

Julian opened his eyes, his gaze glassy and unfocused. "You know what, just—" his fingers circled Logan's wrists and he tugged Logan's arms around his waist again, snuggling into his boyfriends chest. "This is good enough."

Logan closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. He felt sleep coming and he welcomed it with open arms. He pulled Julian closer, his breath warm as he whispered in his ear. "Aren't you cold?"

"No, I'm okay," Julian breathed, closing his eyes and grabbing Logan's arms to keep him close. "You?"

"'m fine," Logan mumbled and he shifted closer, Julian wrapped in his arms as he drifted in an uneasy sleep.


	36. I Care

**Pairing: Jogan**

* * *

><p><strong>I Care<strong>

* * *

><p>"Julian?"<p>

Logan stepped outside, the chilly breeze whipping his hair and pulling on his clothes. Looking around, he finally saw the actor, standing in front of a memorial, his hands in his pockets and his eyes expressionless as they stared into space.

"…Jules?"

It was deadly quiet as Logan walked towards the brunet, standing next to him and looking at him in an almost shy manner. When Julian didn't say anything, his gaze shifted to the memorial, wincing when memories and grief immediately welled up in his thoughts.

Logan opened his mouth to say something—_anything—_but he hesitated and fell silent again. He stared to the ground awkwardly, closing his eyes a moment and sighing loudly, before he resolutely walked forward and wrapped his arms around Julian's slender waist.

Julian's eyes widened and he was absolutely frozen while he let Logan hold him. He didn't say anything, only raised his hands to grab onto the front of Logan's coat.

Logan's breathing hitched, his pulse going a mile a minute, and he couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was doing. But it felt _good_, what he was doing… so he kept holding tightly onto the brunet, not having any intention of ever letting go.

"You're okay, Jules," Logan whispered in Julian's ear, watching as Julian squeezed his eyes shut and as tons of foreign emotions crossed his pale face. "You're okay."

But Julian shook his head, trembling slightly as his fingers dug in Logan's coat. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse, broken, and Logan could immediately tell he'd cried.

"That's the point."

Logan's heart froze, dropped, and it _hurt_—it genuinely_ hurt_ to see his best friend this sad, this broken—_still_ this broken, even after a year had passed since… since the Art Hall and since Adam and since the death and since the months and months of therapy had started.

Exactly a year…

Julian buried his face in Logan's chest, still shaking his head with short, jerky movements.

"That's the point," Julian breathed again, and Logan held him closer, his head resting on messy dark hair. "That's _exactly_ the point. I'm okay and—and he's not—he's—he's _dead_, Logan. And—and _you're_ not okay—"

"I'm okay, Jules, I'm _fine_—"

"_Now_ you are. But not—not _then_. You were broken and hurt and it was all my fault—"

"Julian."

"You were _hurt_, Logan. You got hurt _so badly_—"

Logan shook his head, trying with everything he had to not let the tears fall. "You got hurt, too," he whispered brokenly, memories of screams and blood and broken bones and so, so, _so much pain_flashing by rapidly. Horrifying images, illustrations he only saw in his sleep—when he'd had a bad day and the night wasn't anything better, maybe even worse.

He knew Julian didn't only see them in his sleep.

"You got hurt, too."

"Who _cares_?" Julian muttered, almost impatient, almost irritated at Logan for daring to argue with him. "Who _cares_."

It was silent for a little while then. Julian had finally started crying, quiet tears that trickled down his face, left salty tracks over his flushed cheeks, and gathered on his pink lips. He didn't sob, didn't make a single sound—as if he wanted to be alone with his grief, as if he wanted to be alone with his overwhelming guilt… guilt that was still present, even after all those months, even after an entire year.

"I care," Logan finally whispered—his breath almost inaudible over the gentle whooshing of the wind. His arms tightened around Julian, crushing the actor against his chest. "I care," he repeated with a rough voice. "I care _so much_, Jules."

"But _why_?" Julian breathed and when his voice cracked, so did Logan's heart.

"Because you're—because when we left that building, when we got _out_, when we _finally_ got out—you were so _hurt_ and I couldn't—" _breathe—live with myself—make all the pain go away and I'm**sorry**—_Logan swallowed, closed his eyes.

Everything hurt.

"I couldn't do anything," Logan slowly continued. "You were _so hurt_, Julian, and I couldn't do anything about it. You're my—" _best friend _didn't seem to cut it, and both boys knew as they looked up and into each other's eyes.

What were they?

After all these months of rebuilding friendships, fights, love, _hugs_ even… what were they?

"I care," Logan repeated, brow furrowing almost in anger as he looked down at Julian. "Because—because I _love_ you."

Julian shook his head, trying to step away even if Logan's arms wouldn't allow it. "What?" His eyes were wide, the light of the setting sun reflected in them, and not for the first time in the last few months Logan realized how utterly beautiful Julian was.

Inside and out.

"I love you," Logan said simply, shrugging lightly as if it wasn't a big deal.

As if it wasn't Julian's direst wish coming true.

"And _I _care," Logan added. "Maybe a lot more than I should—but that's how much I care about you."

Julian smiled—maybe for the first time in a year—the traces of his old Cheshire smirk even visible, and Logan's expression softened when he saw it. He'd missed that smile.

He could've been snarky about it, he could've given a snappy retort and be done with it—because how sad and self-loathing he might have been the last year, he'd never lost that aspect of his personality—but Julian snorted, shook his head and widened his smile.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I love you, too."

Logan smiled and even dared to wink. "I know."

Julian mumbled something that could've been an insult and leaned forward, resting his cheek against Logan's collarbone. "Thank you so much."

Logan's embrace tightened and he smiled tenderly as he laid his head on Julian's. "You're welcome, Jules." He grinned, his lips forming around those infamous three words, his tongue easily accepting the new taste as he conveyed them to someone he should've seen standing a long, long time ago.

"I love you."


	37. Good At Being Bad

**Pairing: Jogan**

**This is actually sort of an outtake from my AU Jogan fic _Loved In Return_ (which is based on the Moulin Rouge). But you don't necessarily need to read that for this. Basically, it's courtesan Julian and Logan watching him :)**

**Julian is dancing on the song SM - Rihanna**

* * *

><p><strong>Good At Being Bad<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Na na na<em>

_Come on_

_Na na na_

_Come on_

_Whore Night_.

That's what they called it.

The elite of the prostitutes, the ones who only stripped for the rich, the ones who didn't accept anything less than they were worth, the ones whose bodies were only meant for the upper class.

They performed one night a month for the less fortunate people—dancing on booming, modern music instead of the usual classy notes; showing off their star dancers, their best moves and most beautiful bodies.

And this time—for the first time in _years_—the Moulin Rouge had decided to throw in their sparkling diamond.

The less wealthy people started yelling as soon as his voice rang out, and the upper class—the ones who'd set aside their pride and mingled with the poorer ones just to watch their Cheshire dance—looked upon them with slight distain. But as soon as Julian stepped on the stage, smoke billowing round him and the lights flickering hypnotically, their jaws dropped and they were screaming just as hard.

_Na na na na na_

_Come on_

_Na na na_

_Come on, come on, come on_

Julian's eyes were rimmed with black coal, his face pale and beautiful, contrasting starkly with his dark eyes and even darker hair. Leather jeans clung absolutely perfectly to his legs, his muscles visible as they rippled smoothly along with every movement. His body was covered in a dark blue button up that didn't have all the buttons closed, the tan skin of his stomach easily stretching over his abs.

He stalked forward decisively, the sound of his footsteps drowned out by the loud, booming music. He reached out, long fingers lightly trailing over the pole while he slowly walked around it. His eyes were searching the crowd carefully as he parted his lips to sing his lines.

_Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

_There's no way I'm turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

_Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

Logan was all the way at the end of the dance floor, sitting on the bar with a beer in his hand, watching Julian carefully—his stare unblinking as they followed the dancer's every move.

Sepia found green, and when Logan smirked and raised his eyebrows skeptically, Julian's lips pulled up in a wide grin.

_Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

_Outta box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

_The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

Grin widening, the brunet dancer twirled around the pole, his body light and flexible and beautiful. Julian came out of his twirl and jumped on the floor of the stage, his fingers curling around a leather whip that seemed to have appeared out of nothing.

The people went absolutely wild seeing this—their gasps and excited cries shooting through the room—and Logan's eyes widened, his heart pounding painfully.

_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it_

_Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_

_Sticks and stones may break my bones_

_But chains and whips excite me_

Julian's voice was a bliss to listen to—hoarse, powerful and crystal-clear as it rang out above the shouts and desperate pleas of his audience. He slashed his whip through the air, crouched and dragged it over his crouch torturously slowly. Logan was as transfixed as the rest of the people, his mind completely preoccupied as he thought of everything he could do with Julian and the whip later tonight.

The whip cut through the air again and Logan stared with glittering eyes while Julian strutted over the stage, hands of unworthy strangers reaching over the edge and following him wherever he went.

_Na na na na_

_Come on, come on, come on_

_I like it-like it_

_Come on, come on, come on_

_I like it-like it_

_Come on, come on, come on_

_I like it-like it (Na na na)_

_Come on, come on, come on_

_I like it-like it_

Julian smiled—his excitement and exhilaration contagious and tangible in the air—dropped to his knees and dragged the whip over some man's chest. The man's eyes widened and he made a grab for Julian's wrists, but the dancer merely laughed and spun delicately out of his reach. He went to stand in the middle of the stage, growling playfully as he grabbed the whip with both hands and sank his teeth in the strong leather.

Logan's breathing hitched and his beer slipped from his fingers.

_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it_

_Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_

_Sticks and stones may break my bones_

_But chains and whips excite me_

The whip back between his full lips after the lines, Julian leaped on a pole and bent backwards gracefully, only his legs keeping him from falling. He was hanging upside down, smiling wickedly while people threw him his money. It was decidedly less than he was used to, but it didn't seem to bother him as he removed the whip from his mouth and blew a kiss towards a group of hysterical women.

He jumped off his pole and his gaze found Logan immediately. He raised his arm to point the whip towards him, smirking teasingly and proceeding to drag it suggestively over his body. Some people turned to look at the fortunate blond, others didn't dare to lose sight of Cheshire.

Logan's eyes narrowed and he smirked tightly, his fingers curled in such tight fists they were going numb.

_Na na na na_

_Come on, come on, come on_

_I like it-like it_

_Come on, come on, come on_

_I like it-like it (Na na na)_

Julian dropped onto the floor, on his hands and knees as he arched his back, the leather jeans stretching over his ass and legs, making the audience moan in desire. He whispered the next letters, voice hoarse and rough and perfect.

Logan dropped his beer, jumped off the bar and pushed his way through the crowd.

_S-S-S & M-M-M_

_S-S-S & M-M-M_

Finally seeing Logan stalking to the stage, Julian snickered and laughed through the song. He shifted his position, spreading his legs teasingly, whip ready and expression challenging.

Logan didn't back off, accepting the challenge with open arms.

_Oh, I love the feeling you bring to me, oh, you turn me on_

_It's exactly what I've been yearning for, give it to me strong_

_And meet me in my boudoir, make my body say ah ah ah_

Logan leaned over the edge of the stage, looking so at ease and confident, people didn't even try to stop him, convinced he belonged to the act. Julian arched an eyebrow, his tongue raking over his teeth and lips, sepia eyes unblinkingly focused on his lover.

The blond smirked—the bright lights reflecting in his sparkling eyes—and reached out, satisfied when Julian leaned in and allowed Logan to gently touch his flushed cheeks.

The corner of Julian's mouth twitched up in a smile and he wanted nothing more than to stop the performance, jump in Logan's arms and kiss him until he wouldn't be able to breathe—but the music continued, people were waiting and the show had to go on.

He turned away, his face splitting in an elated grin as he let his whip touch Logan's collarbone tenderly while he walked off again.

Julian was like a dream when he performed—a wonderful, brilliant dream that lingered forever after waking up. Always close enough to see the secrets in his dark eyes, always close enough to touch—but every time Logan would reach out, the dancer would wisp through his fingers like the smoke of his cigarettes, grinning and winking seductively as he twirled out of reach.

Exactly like the Cheshire Cat he'd borrowed his stage name from.

_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it_

_Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_

_Sticks and stones may break my bones_

_But chains and whips excite me_

But tonight, after the show and after Julian had gathered his money, Logan would have him all for himself. Julian knew it as he looked over his shoulder—his eyes smoldering coals filled with longing—and Logan knew it—smirking as he met the dancer's eyes and licking his lips in anticipation.

_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it_

_Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_

_Sticks and stones may break my bones_

_But chains and whips excite me_

Julian smirked and dropped down on his knees, letting the people touch his luscious body as a rain of green bills fluttered down around him. He closed his eyes, singing the last lines with a steady voice, using the last strength he had left. His exhaustion was only obvious to Logan, who'd been worrying for ages about the dancer's quickly deteriorating condition, and Julian knew this—shooting the blond a reassurance glance before he leaped to his feet, the whip lashing through the air one last time.

_I like it_

The music stopped.

The people roared their deafening shouts.

Men and women tried to shove away the guards who'd suddenly appeared, hands grasping futilely in the air as they attempted to get one last touch of their Cheshire.

And in the midst of it all, Logan was utterly quiet as he stared at Julian—his expression a mix of awe, adoration, protectiveness and pure, utter love. Julian found his stare and he was laughing out loud, showing off his money to Logan and winking suggestively. He gestured to the back of the building and Logan smirked as he immediately understood. He blew Julian a kiss—the dancer pretended to swoon, hand on his heart and his heart in his eyes—and Logan turned on his heels, disappearing behind the guards and behind the heavy, red curtains where he would wait impatiently for Julian and the kind of night he could only have with him.

* * *

><p><strong>Also, for the people who read Gunsight and don't follow me on Tumblr: the newest chapter is now with my beta, so it should be updated in the next few days :) Sorry sorry sorry for the long wait :(<strong>


	38. Shock

**Stuart Trio**

**Post-Hell Night**

* * *

><p><strong>Shock<strong>

* * *

><p>Logan stared past a sleeping Derek out of the window, quietly watching as the wind gently swayed the branches of a tree, his fingers absently playing with Julian's. It was only a matter of time now, before the actor would wake up. The doctors and nurses had told them repeatedly—his vitals were looking better, he was breathing on his own now, the tube in his throat had finally been removed and things were definitely looking up. It was only a matter of time... and the only thing they could do was wait.<p>

And waiting was what they did. Four days they'd been waiting now, barely sleeping, barely eating, practically living in the hospital. But they didn't care, it didn't matter. Julian was about to wake up and they would stay with him until that happened even if the world threatened to explode.

Derek suddenly woke up with a jolt, his hands clasping the chair and his eyes frantically searching for Julian. Logan stared at him with wide eyes, his hands tight around Julian's, his heart speeding up immediately as he followed Derek's stare and turned to look at the actor.

Julian was lying unmoving in the hospital bed, his face pale and drawn, his eyes closed gently, his lips slightly parted to let the shallow gasps of air through. There had been no change. As usual.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Logan whispered as he watched Derek stare intensely at their friend.

Eventually, Derek huffed, sagged back in his chair and shook his head. "Nah, never mind. It was just a dream."

"Oh." Logan exhaled slowly, glancing at Julian before he went back to stare out of the window. His thumb drew slow circles over the palm of Julian's hand, as if he wanted to comfort the actor, as if Julian could've noticed the sudden, short moment of disturbance.

Derek rubbed his face and grunted a curse. He looked exhausted. "I'm sorry, Lo."

Shrugging lightly, Logan felt his heart slow down to its regular tempo again. "It's okay. I know the feeling."

Derek gazed at his friend before adverting his eyes to the ceiling, too empty and drained to cry but feeling like he was about to.

* * *

><p>It was on the fifth day that Logan felt Julian's fingers move against his and he gasped loudly, waking Derek from his daydreaming. They stood up instantly, hovering over Julian with hopeful expressions, whispering his name, stroking and squeezing in his hands, tucking some of his hair—which looked so much darker in comparison to his pale face—behind his ear.<p>

But when Julian cracked open his eyes, they looked glassy and absent, and they stared right through his friends, not recognizing them at all.

"Jules...?"

"Julian—come on," Derek begged, his hands squeezing Julian's hand a little too tightly.

Julian didn't react and Logan and Derek's voices didn't cause any spark of recognition to form in his tired eyes. It didn't take long for the monitor to pick up the change in his vitals, and the alarms started beeping slowly. When the nurse came speed-walking into the room, she found her patient with his eyes open and his two friends immensely worried and endlessly disappointed. And no matter how many times the nurse explained to them that this was normal—that the sedatives and painkillers made waking up difficult for Julian—it didn't soothe Derek and Logan at all, and they looked at each other desperately as they sank back in their chairs.

* * *

><p>It was on the seventh day that things really changed.<p>

Julian opened his eyes again, and Derek and Logan looked at him tensely—expecting him to be as glassy as the past two days, afraid to get their hopes up again. But when Julian coughed weakly and moaned in pain when that hurt his broken ribs, their eyes widened and they looked at each other hopefully before standing up.

"_Ow_," Julian moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and coughing again.

"Jules...?" Derek asked tentatively, gently squeezing his friend's hand to gain his attention.

It took Julian a while to focus on his friends and when he noticed them, his eyes widened and he stilled completely. "What—what are you doing here?"

"You're—you're in the hospital, Jules," Derek said, frowning in confusion. "You just woke up—and—"

"I—what?" Julian's eyes widened even more and he shook his head. "No—no—I was not supposed to—"

Derek was horrorstruck, and he glanced sideways to catch the terrified gaze of Logan.

"Jules, you're not supposed to _what_?" Logan pressed, horrified to hear the answer.

But Julian never answered, instead he snapped his eyes up to Logan, so many emotions crossing his panicked expression, Logan could easily drown in them.

"What—but I'm—"

It was like they were back in the burning Art Hall and Julian was feeling the knife on his throat and he was seeing Logan in danger, so very near the all-destroying fire, and he was hearing himself confess _everything _he'd managed to hide for _three_ years, and fear constricted his heart and chest and he _couldn't breathe_.

The monitors were ringing their alarm even before Julian started hyperventilating, coughing and moaning in pain as he did. Derek and Logan started panicking, tried to calm him down, but Julian shook his head and pushed them back.

"I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't _breathe_—"

Tears filled his eyes and poured down his cheeks, and Derek and Logan were shaking as they looked down at their absolutely broken friend, feeling completely powerless and useless, their own tears streaming down their faces.

* * *

><p>The nurse made Julian sleep for a long time after the panic-attack, explaining to Derek and Logan that it might take him a while to wake up again and that it might take even longer for Julian to come to terms with what happened.<p>

These kind of reactions were 'normal', she'd said.

But when Logan and Derek looked at each other, they shook their heads, telling the nurse that Julian wasn't 'normal' and that this reaction wasn't 'normal' for him. The nurse nodded quietly and she'd let them sit next to Julian for the entire night.

* * *

><p>Julian opened his eyes not even a day later. He was so quiet, Derek and Logan hadn't even noticed that he'd been staring at the ceiling for quite a while now.<p>

"Julian?"

They were so afraid for another panic-attack, they didn't really dare to talk to him, didn't really dare to say anything to him. So when Julian stayed quiet, they stayed quiet too. It turned out to be nice, just sitting there in absolute silence, holding Julian's hands while he blinked up at the ceiling. It was peaceful, soothing, healing.

"I'm sorry."

Julian hoarse voice broke the silence after a few minutes and Logan snapped his head around to look straight into wide, sepia eyes. They looked as scared as they had in the burning building and that emotion caught him unexpectedly, silencing him effectively.

Derek shook his head, his fingers brushing over Julian's arm. "You've got nothing to apologize for."

Julian scoffed, wincing when that hurt his body. He let Logan escape from his haunting stare as he looked back up at the ceiling. "I do."

"You _don't_, Julian," Logan said, almost vehemently. "It's not your fault. _Nothing_ is your fault."

Julian smirked darkly, disagreeing but not voicing it aloud. He was too tired for these kind of arguments, because he knew that whatever he'd done, Logan and Derek would've said the same thing anyway. _Not your fault, never your fault_... when all three of them knew it damn well was his fault.

But he'd save this argument for later, when he wasn't so damn tired... He looked at his friends, noticed the bruises under their eyes and instantly knew they'd been sitting next to him for one hell of a long time. He smiled, this time sincere and grateful.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Logan asked, suspicious for this sudden change of subject.

Julian rolled his eyes, reluctant to say it, but wanting to nevertheless. "For being here, of course."

Derek smirked, squeezing the actor's hand. "You kind of forced us, you know, not waking up and all."

Julian snorted, but didn't respond. He exhaled slowly, trying not to think of the horrendous aftermath that was sure to follow. It was hard not to think of it, and he felt panic rising up already. But then Logan and Derek were holding his hands again and they were talking to him about how everyone was alright and how nobody was blaming him for anything, and the sound of their voices effectively distracted him from his nightmarish thoughts.

"You're going to be alright, Jules," Logan muttered. His blazing eyes were holding the actor captive, and Julian could swear he'd never felt this safe before.

"We'll make this alright. I promise."


	39. Nightmare

**Post-Hell Night. **

**Jogan and a little Larythe.**

* * *

><p><strong>Nightmare<strong>

* * *

><p>It was cold outside of Dalton, a chilly breeze whipping his hair and his clothes, and Logan shivered as he pulled his coat tighter around his body. Looking around, he noticed the smoke even before he walked into them—the dirty grey mass curling up into the air and languidly fading away. His eyes followed the smoke for a while, watching as it flew up in the late afternoon sky, and he wondered what he was supposed to do now. What he was supposed to say and how he was supposed to help.<p>

The uncertainty and the dread were so strong, the thought of turning around and pretending he never came here flitted briefly through his mind… But no. He would not turn his back on his friends. Not now. Not when they needed help—his help—so much.

Taking a deep breath, Logan rounded the corner. The smell of the cigarettes became almost tangible in the air—drifting in his nostrils and making his stomach recoil in disgust and bad memories—and he was greeted with the sight of Julian and Sebastian. The two old friends were sitting next to each other, perched on the cold stone tiles and staring absently into space.

Logan's eyes flickered when he saw the cigarette dangling between Julian's lips, and his gaze darted to Sebastian, demanding an explanation. Sebastian merely looked up at him with one eyebrow raised, as if to ask the prefect what the _hell_ he was doing here. Julian didn't react at all, kept lying against his Parisian friend, his eyes closed and his expression stressed.

After a few seconds of silent battling, Logan broke the eye-contact with Sebastian and crouched down next to the actor. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Julian's eyes snapped open, not as bright and sharp as usual, the edges frayed with something foggy and intangible. He lifted the cigarette from his lips, giving Logan a long, sad look, making shivers run down the blond's spine.

"Leave me alone, Logan," Julian whispered, and Logan winced when his voice cracked at the end.

His voice was a lot nicer when he talked this time. "Jules… You hate smoking, remember?" Logan held out his hand. "Give me the cigarette."

Sebastian slipped his arm around Julian's waist, pulling him closer and glaring harshly at Logan. "Let him be, Wright."

Green eyes flickered furiously. "Did I even _talk_ to you, jackass?" Logan snarled, his blazing expression softening when he looked back at Julian. "Hey Jules…"

"Didn't you hear him? He wants to be left _alone_," Sebastian sneered. "He doesn't _want_ your help."

Julian sighed, closed his eyes. Smoke escaped through his lips when he exhaled and it twirled up in the darkening sky. He stared at it as if hypnotized, following its path until it dissolved in the air.

Logan ignored Sebastian—no matter how much he wanted to hurt the new transfer, it would have to wait, because Julian was sitting here, looking broken and hurt and sad, and it was all he could concentrate on. He extended a hand to his best friend, squeezing his arm gently. "What's wrong, Jules?"

"Nothing," Julian mumbled, but he shifted a little so that he was leaning away from Sebastian and more against Logan. "Nothing's wrong."

"He had a nightmare," Sebastian hissed venomously, his angry glare set on Logan. "But you don't care anyway, so just _leave_, Wright. I've got it."

Logan glanced at him for a brief moment—aggravated, impatient and repressing the urge to hurt him—before throwing an arm over Julian's shoulders and hugging him against him. "Julian—" he pried the cigarette from the actor's fingers, ignoring Julian's curses of protest. "Let _go_, Julian—" When he finally managed to snatch the cigarette away, he squashed it out on the tiles, wafting away the smoke.

"What happened, Julian?" Logan asked quietly, reaching up and tucking back a lock of brown hair. His thumb caressed the actor's cheek for a split second and Julian leaned into the touch tiredly.

Julian pressed his lips together, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. "Nothing. It was just a stupid, _stupid_ nightmare," he heaved a shaky sigh and Logan's heart broke when he saw tears form in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I should really stop doing this—"

"J—" Sebastian leaned forward, clearly having every intention to lock Julian in his arms—but Logan was faster, knew exactly how to comfort his best friend now, knew exactly what to do.

"You're alright, Jules," Logan whispered, pulling Julian against him and pressing a soft kiss in his hair. "These nightmares are happening less and less, right? You're going to be alright."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Logan, but his own concern shone through when he glanced down at the actor.

Julian wrapped his arms around Logan's neck and nuzzled his face in his friend's shoulder. He took trembling breaths, trying to calm himself down, but obviously failing. "I'm tired," he whispered, voice hoarse with tears and exhaustion.

"Come on, I'll bring you to bed," Logan breathed, lifting Julian easily when he stood up.

Sebastian got to his feet too, protesting when Logan started to walk off. "Hey—wait for second—!"

"Sebastian," Logan snapped, turning around and sending the full force of his blazing green eyes his way. "Could you please _fuck_ off now? You fucking sit there doing nothing while Julian _ruins_ his lungs and his health, and you call yourself a _friend_? You call yourself fucking _helpful_? You're—"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes to slits and advanced on Logan, keeping his voice down to not upset Julian any further. "So you _do_ call yourself his friend? I know what happened between you and Julian, Wright, I know all about the immense amount of _hurt_ you brought him. And you have the fucking _nerve_ to call yourself _his friend?_"

Logan's expression was so ferocious, Sebastian actually took a little step backwards. The prefect hugged Julian closer to his body as he hissed back, his voice low and dangerous and soaked in emotions.

"Don't you fucking mess with me, Smythe. I may have missed the fact that my best friend's been in love with me for three years, but I _do_ know him—better, _way_ better than you do. He may have told you things and he may have talked to you—but _you_ didn't live with him for more than three years. You don't know _every last thing_ about him—the things that make him annoying and prissy as hell, and the things that make him good and warm and brilliant." Logan almost growled the words, so pissed off and so intensely furious that he didn't even care Julian woke up because of it, didn't even notice the way Julian's fingers were digging in his coat and skin. "And you're going to _stay_here and I don't care if you _freeze_ to death, but you're going to stay here and stay the _fuck_ away from Julian. Because if I see you smoking with him again—if I see you lay your disgusting, filthy_paws_ on him again—I'm going to kick your pathetic ass all the way back to fucking Paris. _Do you fucking understand me_?"

Sebastian was pale and shaking with repressed anger, but Julian was holding Logan so tightly and he was looking so much better—and Sebastian _knew_ how much the actor loved the prefect, how much he _still_ loved him—that he couldn't actually do anything. Not here. Not right now.

When Sebastian's reaction stayed out, Logan hoisted Julian up a little higher and turned around resolutely, leaving the fuming Parisian behind without a second thought. Logan tilted his head, letting it rest against Julian's, and whispered soothing nothing-words in his ear.

It was nice, being this close to the brunet, holding him in his arms like this. It felt nice, and it felt right. And maybe, _maybe_—if Julian would still be upset and if the angry feelings towards Sebastian were still lingering in his mind—Logan would lie down next to Julian in his bed, holding him while the actor would try to sleep.

After all… anything to keep the nightmares away.


	40. Pulling Back

**Pairing: Jogan**

**Something like a year after Hell Night.**

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><p><strong>Pulling Back<strong>

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><p>Their fingers laced together easily and it took Julian a while to stop staring at their hands and to look up to Logan. He marveled at how easy it was for them to touch each other, how naturally it was for their hands to search and hold each other. They were so easy together, so comfortable, so nice...<p>

So peaceful.

Logan was one of few who'd been allowed to touch the actor ever since Adam. Logan was one of few who'd been able to talk to him ever since the Art Hall. Logan was the only one who knew of every little detail of his most horrendous and gruesome nightmares.

No matter which way Julian tried to turn it—it always came down to Logan. Because the blond was always there. Logan had always been there. For him, for Julian. To hold his hand. To talk to him. To bicker with him. To sing him back to sleep whenever he'd jerk awake from bottomless black holes, frantically searching the safety of blazing green eyes to help him out of the feeling of an endless and endless freefall.

"Jules...?"

Green eyes were as intense as ever when Julian's head snapped up and he gazed right into them. The actor gave Logan a smile, sad and knowing and utterly exhausted.

"I'm here."

Logan's eyes narrowed the tiniest bit and he tilted his head, his gaze softening. "That's my line," he murmured, and his hand tightened around Julian's. It felt nice, the gesture soothing and reassuring.

_I'm here. I'll always be here_.

"You stole my line."

Julian shrugged listlessly, stealing a quick glance at Logan but looking down immediately after their eyes had locked. "It only seemed appropriate," he whispered. A lie for a heart. Not a fair trade—not a fair trade _at all_, now Julian thought of it—but a trade it was.

"You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You know that, don't you?" Logan whispered, his eyes fixed on Julian, brimming with a thousand and one emotions—all of them heartbroken and regretful and apologizing time and time, a countless times, again.

Julian shook his head, could barely hold back his tears. He wouldn't cry. Not again. Not over this _again_.

He'd shed too many tears over it already. He should stop crying over the same stupid thing. It wasn't fair for anyone... least of all for himself.

"It doesn't matter, Logan," Julian's voice was hoarse, thick with pain. "Not anymore."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, but Julian saw the pain in them anyway. The regret. The sincere hurt and heartbreak.

He thought it would soothe his own heart, to see Logan as broken as he was, but it only cracked more. The edges giving away and everything else crumbling off just as torturously slowly.

Their hands tightened, loosened. Their fingers were still laced together and Julian wished he could tie them in a knot no one would be able to untie. To keep them like this forever.

Maybe they'd be able to sort this out eventually.

Maybe they just needed more time...

Maybe... maybe... maybe...

Dreaming was something he'd learned to do in the daytime, since the nights were always claimed by nightmares. Having dreams was nice... even if they weren't always the truth.

"I'm so sorry," Logan breathed. "I—"

"You tried, Lo," Julian whispered, avoiding to look in those brilliant, emerald eyes. The only eyes in the world that could keep the nightmares away. The only eyes in the entire world that could make him feel safe without even so much as a touch. He forced himself to smile. "That's all I could've asked for."

"No," Logan said, shaking his head, biting his bottom lip. Looking as forlorn and lost as Julian felt. "You should ask for more. You deserve more. And especially more than me."

"But it wouldn't change things," Julian whispered, studying their intertwined fingers carefully, imprinting the image in his head. "Would it?"

Logan shook his head again, his eyes filling with tears, making them glisten like the brightest stars in the night.

He was beautiful.

"I'm so sorry."

Julian breathed in. His hand tightened around Logan's once more and when he exhaled—a long, trembling breath—he slowly pulled back his hand. It didn't cost any effort to pull loose and their fingers untangled easily—so easily it hurt to look at—and a slow tear slid down Logan's cheek as he stared at it.

"I'm _so_ sorry," he breathed, rich voice raspy with tears. "I'm so sorry."

"I know, Logan," Julian looked up, right into Logan's eyes, his own brimming with tears he refused to let go. He didn't think he could force a smile without his mask cracking completely, so he didn't dare to try.

Logan closed his eyes, letting his head hang when he saw Julian's expression. "I wish I could lo—"

"Don't say it, Lo," Julian hushed him quietly. "Don't—"

"Jules..."

"At least you tried, Lo," Julian whispered, the breaches in his heart caving against the pressure of the pain, surrendering to the bottomless black holes of his nightmares. He wished he was in freefall right now. "At least you tried."

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><p><strong>Also, for the people who read Gunsight and Loved In Return, a little note: Gunsight has only two more chapters to go, maybe even just one, and after I finished that fic, I'm going to focus everything on Loved In Return. I'm a thousand times sorry for the delay and for the lack of updates, I'm so ridiculously busy, it's not normal :( So, I'm really sorry... I hope I can update as soon as possible and thanks for the people who stick around to read it :)<strong>

***kisses***


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Glee, Friendship, Romance