Harry Potter, Naruto Stan and Rasputin

Chello people, how have ya'll been. I've been great, thanks for asking! My computer is finally fixed and I have decided to celebrate its magnificent recovery with a new story! Yay! Clap for me, clap for me! A new story for me to ruin and never update! HORAY!

Any ways… this story is not really a story but journal entries between Naruto and Harry (Potter, just in case you were confused! :D). I hope it's good and ya'll like it!

Narutard is not mine, too bad so sad, and Harry Putter is not mine as well. (Does it sound dirty that way?) Thus begins my lameness once again!

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**Dear Diary**,

You are no longer called a diary, because that is to girly, and will from this day forth be known as Stan. Do not ask where you are from because all I know is you were made in China and I don't care as to what part of China you were made in.

Now that your origins are out of the way, I hope you will keep any other questions to yourself because you do not have a mouth to ask them with and I do not wish to hear them. On to my problems…

Today is October 10th, the day of my birth and the day the whole village decided to make me their scapegoat for something a huge giant-ass fox did. I particularly do not care for this village but due to certain people this village will continue to have some sort of sentimental meaning for me. If these certain people were not here I would not think twice about letting the fox out and demolishing this hell hole. And I have all right to call it a hell hole not just because of the unfair justice this place follows but also because from what I have heard form the fox, hell is a way nicer place then this.

Now you may be wondering what the village could have possibly done to make me feel this way, I think it would be less of a headache if I said all the things they didn't do. But again that would be too much of a pain so all I will say is that beatings and break-ins are not something that a ten year old should be used to. Alas thus is my life and I can't complain anymore than I have otherwise it would create suspicion and more work for the Old Man who runs this place.

Today was actually one of the better days. I was only cornered once and beaten by five people and no one has yet to break into my house in the last three days, though I do suspect that in the next couple of days I will come home from the academy and find my place in ruins. I fear that one day they might decide to break in while I am asleep and do worse things. That might push me over the edge and create a bit of a problem for those who do it considering I don't have much control over my suddenly awake self.

Anyways, I guess I should stop and get to bed. It is late and I have class in the morning, which should be great! There was sarcasm in that last sentence if your paper pages found that hard to comprehend. Peace out and see ya some other time. (Don't know when and don't care when)

**Dear Diary**,

My name is Harry Potter and I am eleven years old. Today I am on my way to the magical world! Ooh aah~. I am more than happy to be heading there even though I have no idea what this place will be like and if I can truly trust this guy who is taking me there. As of now he is sitting on the couch and lighting the fire with the end of his umbrella. He, a giant of a man (not kidding he really is giant), has an accent that is hard to understand at times, for the sake of myself and you I will not even try to write what he says and just keep it all coming from me.

It came as a great surprise to me when the door on this cursed little island get-away was knocked off the hinges and he walked in. It was even more of a shock when he pointed his umbrella, I don't really think it is an umbrella if it can do all that it has done, at mad fatty( Dudley) causing him to grow a tail while he was piggin' out on the cake Hagrid, that's the giants name by the way, brought me. It was really funny to see Aunt Petunia (stick lady) and Uncle Vernon (Fatty numero uno) squeal and yell in terror. I tried really hard not to laugh but couldn't help chuckle a little. It was even better when FNU's face became so red it looked like the blood was going nowhere but there. The whole place was in an uproar and all I could do was stand next to the wall and try not to get into any more trouble than I was probably already in.

Even if mini fatty was making my birthday, yes my birthday, all the better by making me laugh I knew that if my Aunt and Uncle heard me then I would be in some big trouble. Luckily they were too preoccupied with their son and Hagrid. Apparently they knew what was going on because no matter how scared they looked somewhere in their eyes I could see a twinge of recognition. This night got even better, sarcasm here, when the truth to my parent's death was revealed.

Now here's the thing, I knew my Aunt and Uncle never wanted me, so it always left me wondering why they kept me around. I mean, usually if you don't like a kid you send them away. Be it to an orphanage where you no longer have to see or hear about them again, or to a boarding school where the only thing that will remind you of them is the bill to pay the tuition. It just never made sense and probably never would. Anyways… truth is my parents were well known wizards. And they had died at the hands of the most evil guy the wizarding world has given birth to, and I somehow survived the attack! Can you believe it; I survived an attack by the most powerful dark wizard when I was just a baby!

As soon as the truth was made known, I also found out how much my Aunt and Uncle loathed the very idea of magic. Foul words were the only things I heard about my parents and it made me so mad! But I really couldn't do anything. Thank god Hagrid was there because he said a few words and shut them up.

The last thing I'll add, we are getting ready to get all oh my school supplies so I'll tell you the rest later, is I really hope this part of my life will go better so look forward to the multitude of information I'm going to be shoving into your pages!

**Stan**,

I swear one of these days I'm going to let the fur ball out and let him cause as much destruction as he wants. As I predicted last time, my apartment was broken into the very next day after I went to the academy. This time it was a lot worse than it usually is. Usually they just tear up my things and take anything they deem valuable enough to potentially sell or mock me with, but this time they did that and more.

I knew it was worse before I even put the key in the lock. My door, which now has lovely graffiti, was cracked. Usually after the village inhabitants raid my place they have the decency to close the door on the way out, so seeing it like that made me feel just a little more scared than I'm used to, and Stan I had every right to be.

I slowly pushed the door open just in case the intruders were waiting to jump me, but what greeted me were pictures. Now I know your probable thinking, though you have no brain, what could be wrong with pictures? Thing is these pictures were of me, not outside where anyone one in the world could see me if they wanted too, but of the sleeping me. What made it worse was the realization that these were not taken outside my window but inside my room and right next to my bed! The pictures though didn't stop there, they went on to show whoever was taking them touching me and playing with my hair! HE WAS PLAYING WITH ME STAN! HE WAS GOD DAMN TOUCHING ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING! Oh my god Stan, what am I going to do?

This all happened three weeks ago, and every night I go to sleep I wonder if he has come before and done it again, hell I wonder why I don't wake up when it happens! I know I'm not a hard sleeper; I've woken up to the lady across the street closing her door to hard! So what the hell is wrong with me when he comes and does his nightly visits, I'm starting to lose my mind over the fear that more things could have been done to me! I'm getting so little sleep that my energy is really starting to dwindle, hell I haven't pulled a prank since it happened and somehow I can tell that whoever did this is quite happy he is having this effect on me. I'm trying, I really am, to not let it psych me out but my fear is getting the better of me.

Stan… I really wish you were real and more than just a paper book that can only hold the junk I want to write about. Stan, I need someone, anyone will do. Stan you won't betray me will you? Stan…. Stan, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this treatment and still keep my humanity. The fur ball can only do so much for me, what with him being cooped up in my tummy, and you can only listen to what I complain about. Stan, I really do fear myself and what I'm capable of doing once the villagers do too much to me, even if I don't know a lot of jutsu, I still have the fur ball to fall back on. What do you think the villagers would do if they knew I dreamed of slaughtering all of them and laughing while pissing on their dead bodies? What would they do? Stan, tell me, what would they do if they knew? d you send them away. be d me, so it always left me wondering why they kept me around. I mean, ususally

I'm done for the day, a few more weeks and then I can take the final test to be a shinobi, maybe after I gain that rank the hostility will go down. Don't you think it will Stan? Don't you?

**Halo Rasputin**,

I realized that I did not give you a proper name last time, maybe because the whole idea that I am in fact a wizard was just so much that the real world did not register?

Anyways I have decided to name you Rasputin for one reason and one reason alone, and that is because I can! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No but seriously I did it because for some odd reason or another I really like that name and you also sort of look like a Rasputin. So there, if you don't like it deal with it cause you can't do anything about it! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is unless in the next few minutes you decide to come to life and bring forth a well deserved revenge upon such horrible naming abilities, but that is just as unlikely as there being a magical world hidden from all the regular non insane normal people…

Last time I left off just getting ready to buy my supplies and I'm sorry to say it but it was has been a few days since I last wrote. It's just everything is so different from muggle, yes muggle is the word for you normal people, school and it is taking me awhile to grasp what is really happening.

The whole buying of the magical items was quite surreal because everywhere I went people stared and pointed some girls even giggled behind their hands when I met their gazes. Not to mention the very idea that I am quite rich, otherwise I would not have been able to get a wand that cost a lot of money all the supplies I would need just to make it through the year! It was amazing, this Diagon Alley, everyone was dressed in robes and there were goblins and cauldrons and animals and brooms and so much more that it was just so amazing and whatever I write would not give it justice. Then after wards there was the train station if I thought the alley was cool, with its hidden entrance and all then the train station was even cooler. It was hidden in plain sight and I had to go through a wall. A WALL!

On the train I met a boy named Ron, he comes from a long line of wizards and like everyone else was amazed with who I am. There was also a girl I met but she didn't really register cause it was a quick entrance and a quick exit.

Upon getting to the castle, that's right all I go to a castle for school, the strange just go stranger. A talking hat sorts you into your dorms, or houses, and the ceiling replicates the outside or a lot of candles, not to mention that the portraits talk and there are ghosts who not only interact with you but teach some of the classes. If now is the time for me to wake up I hope I can just keep dreaming.

Oh, and I met a fowl, fowl person today. His name is Draco Malfoy and he tried to tell me who to make friends with. He seems like an evil little bastard and I hope I don't have to deal with him to much in the future. Uhg…

Anyways I really wish you could see and experience what I am, cause I'm pretty sure that me explaining these things are nothing like seeing them first hand. I'll tell you one thing though that can be just as awesome as seeing it as hearing it. I have smiled more here in the last few days then I have in my whole entire life with the Dursleys.

I never did tell you, but my treatment was not something I would wish on any kid who had lost his parents and then pawned off on some estranged realatives, and yes I will call them estranged because from the way they talked about my parents they probably tried to have nothing to do with them at any point in their life.

It wasn't that bad at first, normal baby care and what not, but as soon as I got older and could do more for myself and around the house I became a personal maid for them. I was taught how to cook so I could make breakfast for them in the morning, how to clean so the house could stay spic and span, how to do laundry, and how to stay quite while the fat mans guests/ family came over. You could say the whole children should be quite until spoken too rule applied to me alone while people were over, and even then I was sometimes sent to my 'room' after I was done attending to whatever the fat man and beanpole wanted.

The best part was the room, aside from the cloths that came from piggles. The thing I stayed in was a closet under the stairs. Hell I couldn't even stand up in the thing, and every morning piggles would come running down the stairs and then back up again just to make the dust stuck in the wood fall out on me. These kind of conditions aren't even good for a maid, I mean hell, I think even they get real living quarters to hole up in.

Basically the place was just a house that meant nothing to me. Their hate of me was evident since day one, the cold stares, harsh words and blatant lies they told others to make sure I seemed like a horrible unruly kid.

I still don't understand why they didn't just get rid of me, but I guess that is something I'm just going to have to learn for myself one of these days.

**Stan!**

Chello Stan, what up my main man? Homie G dog! My main slice of bread! Ha ha ha, main slice of bread… I crack myself up, that I do.

So get this, in a few more days I am going to take the exam to become a ninja. I'm so excited, I don't care what anyone says or how messed up the teachers try to make me. I WILL PREVALE BITCHES!

I have been training real hard, practicing the henge and the kawarimi no jutsu a lot, but the stupid bunshin no jutsu is really hard. I know I'm using too much chakra but I just can't figure out why I can't tone the output down a bit. And get this I even made up my own jutsu. It actually turns me into a girl. A GIRL! How cool is that? I tweaked the henge just a tad so as to make it look as real as possible and then added just a little more chakra then necessary and it made my whole body take on the form of a female. I've found that it can be quite useful when you encounter a pervert because it knocks them out upon site of my luscious girl body! Thank god for closet perverts, otherwise this jutsu would be useless.

I think I might even be able to knock out the Ojii-chan with it. Man that would be so funny, but I'm not sure if he is a pervert or not. Hm… now that I think about it I wonder if he is…

Oh, well I'll find out sooner or later. On the other hand guess what I found the other day! I found a scroll hidden in the library, yes I go to the library believe it or not, that is chalk full of jutsu! I am going to be one sick SOB come taking my first mission. Ha ha academy brats move aside and make way for Master Uzumaki! Hell I know I'm smarter than the rest of those jerk wads but now I'm going to be well versed in jutsu, what is the world coming too? It's unfair for one person to be so handsome, smart and strong ain't it?

Now I bet your wondering Stan how I knew the scroll was of hidden status. That my dear friend is easily explained. You see, while practicing my henge I went to the library to catch up on my weekly reading. While scrounging around the limited scrolls I found a shelf that was just a little farther away from the wall than it was supposed to be. Curiosity being my middle name I peaked behind the shelf and found a scroll almost too far back for my puny arm to reach. After saving it from its dusty tomb I tried looking it up to see what it was all about. Thing is the libraries archives did not have it listed, so since it seems like a lost little lamb within a world of wolves I rescued it and brought it back home. Thus, since it was not listed I have dubbed it hidden and therefore, after checking the contents and finding that it contained jutsus, it will be my artillery for future use! HA HA HA, WHAT NOW BITCHES!

First things first though, I really need to find out how to do the bunshin. If not then this scroll won't matter much if I don't pass the test, although I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't have it easy trying to pass. The written part I can already write off as being a failure, the teacher won't give me the right one anyway, but the jutsu one will be another story. I know Iruka-sensei will be the proctor but being the strict teacher he is, if I mess up one of the jutsus it will be an automatic no. As for weapons and fighting skills, you know, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. If things go the way I have predicted them too, then if I show skills more than enough bad things for a life time will happen to me within a week, but if I act the idiot like I have been then it's a for sure failure. Man, I wish I wasn't the jailor of the Kyuubi, it makes life too hard, on the other hand I get power and the security that I'm not alone, even if the fur ball might or might not have harsh feelings for me.

Uhg, my brain hurts now. Stupid bunshins, stupid ignorant villagers, stupid people. Oh well, I guess I better sign off and get back to work, kami knows I'll need some kind of miracle to help me.

Peace out Stan, it's been fun, talk to ya later, never wanna be ya! Ha ha…

**Rasputin**,

Not much has happened since the last time I talked to you. Days have passed and I think I am finally starting to get used to the curriculum here. It's like normal school only if you think writing (quill and parchment, not pencil and paper) and learning is the same thing. As for the actually work, it's a lot more taxing than I thought it would be. I figured that even though I am not from a magic family, I would at least be on level ground with the rest of the students because you cannot do magic either way outside of school. But I was wrong, a lot of the kids, and I should have known especially if they were from magical families, would have at least a basic knowledge of what magic is and how to go about using it. I also felt unprepared when I met this one girl, first on the train, knew practically every answer to every question even though she herself was from a non magical family and had only the time between getting notice to coming here to learn all that she has. I could blame her for having a normal family who accepted her new found abilities and got her prepared for school or I could blame my "family" for being such prats that they would keep me from even finding out about magic in the first place. But that would be immature of me. I could have tried harder to get that letter from my Uncle, or I could have wished more for a better family, but I can't blame others for what happened or didn't happen to me. All I can do now is try harder to get ahead and keep up with the paper monster that is homework!

Oh, yeah I guess I could tell ya about this one teacher who I don't like very much and the feeling is mutual. In fact I'm pretty sure there is something more than me just being the boy who lived because he has had it out for me the first time he saw me in the great hall after we started eating dinner on the first night. I had just happened to look up and catch his eye and he sneered at me. Sneered! I was like what the hell man, I don't even know you! But just like any other school I can't really cause any trouble with him because he is a teacher and if any student goes against a teacher it is a taken as rebelling and you are labeled a delinquent there on after. So I just ignored him and then, get this, my potions class is taught by him and apparently it's a bad thing to take notes while he is talking because he sees that as not paying attention and then he calls on you and asks you questions that you are supposedly to know the answers to. I on the other hand did not know them and was the first to get points taken away from our house because of it! How unfair is that! I have no idea what happened to make him hate me so much but I know for sure that it is not my fault cause I have only just met him and that is not enough time to create so much bad blood between the two of us!

Enough of the evil teacher. Get this I am the first and only first year who has made the Quidditch team without even trying out. It all happened by chance and after I got a taste of it I am so excited!

The day we had flying class Madame Hooch, the teacher, had to leave with Neville because he lost control of his broom, yes we fly on brooms, and fell from a castle stone fixture that was a good three or four stories up and ended up breaking his arm, thank god that's all that happened. While they were walking away Madame Hooch told us all to stay planted on the ground and if Malfoy hadn't done anything I'm pretty sure I would have stayed on the ground and not been recruited to be the seeker of the Gryfindor quidditch team.

Anyway, apparently Malfoy had gotten a hold ofNeville's remembral and decided to keep it for himself. I did not like that idea at all and told Malfoy to give it back. Ofcourse the git automatically refused and actually flew up into the sky and started down at us with a sneer on his face. God how I hate him and it hasn't even been that long since we first met!

Being me I got on my broom too, still can't get over the idea that we use brooms to fly, and followed him up. All the while Hermione was telling me that it wasn't a good idea and just to wait till the teacher got back. Ha, like that would happen. I know I am impulsive and I there is no way I was going to start going against my nature now.

Flying is a lot harder than it looks. I was somewhat shaky at first but as I got higher up my control over the broom got better and I was able to even myself out with him. That was when the git decided to throw the cursed thing and I knew if I didn't catch it it would end up broken and all of this would have been for not.

I have never gone so fast in my life and while I was on that broom I felt so free and happy, I sort of didn't want to stop. None the less I caught up to the ball and was able to flip around before I flew head first into the castle. It was at this point Professor Mcgonagall saw me. I still don't get how she made it down to the field as quick as she did, but somehow she managed to and that's when she pulled me aside and introduced mo to the captain of the quidditch team.

Man I am so stoked for the first game and just getting to play. I think I can safely say that flying is my favorite thing that the wizarding world has offered me. If I had the chance I'm sure I could just fly off and explore the world without a care in the world. That would be so awesome… I will do it and that is a promise!

Well I best be going to bed. I don't want to be too tired and out of sorts during class tomorrow, which would really go against my whole plan to stay caught up or get ahead. I'll write in ya some other time, but don't be lookin forward to it being anytime soon; after all I got lots to do around here!

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Hasta luego! (Whatever that means! Ha ha ha)

*Hasta luego= see ya later in Spanish (see I know what it means!)

I'm real sorry for any spellin or grammar errors. I tried to catch as many as I could; alas English has never been my strong suit even though it is my native language… oh well. Also excuse whatever else I messed up, I'll try harder I will. Criticism is always welcome, I love it, I live off it! Ha ha, just kiddin, but I do like to hear what ya'll got to say be it bad or good!

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


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Harry Potter, Naruto