One Piece 1. Zero to Two

King Anthony: That's right I'm back!

Judy: After years of doing nothing he comes begging back to the fiction world.

King Anthony: That's right! And if you don't remember I'm King Anthony the author and this lovely lady with the soul of a butcher is Judy Jetson.

Judy: And remember he does not own One Piece, The Jetsons, or a house for that matter.

King Anthony: Cold Hearted… Anyway Enjoy this first story. Entitled-

Judy: From Zero to Two

Mystery man slowly, as dramatic as he could, climbed onto Alabasta Stage. The place was a huge amphitheatre and he found himself only a bit nervous. After all he was a flaming okama and after that what's worse? But this was different. This could make or break his life. He had to win him over so he could be in the big leagues. He just had too. Luckily there was only two in the audience.

Crocodile found it out that the new prospect to Baroque Works had set up his audition as the theatre. But he was a calm man and it was only a slight annoyance that he to come out. He pushed the thought aside to just have the rest of a good day. Besides, as much as he never admitted, he liked to go places with Robin. He knew she was up to no good but she was quite the looker and Crocodile was only human. All that came to a crash when he saw the man on stage wasn't really a man.

Ms. AllSunday giggled. She wasn't expecting a flaming okama to be the new guy to join the club. And now everything made perfect since. He was going to perform. She sat back in her seat. She glanced at Mr. 0 as he picked upped his jaw. Not many things could shock him but this would make even D. Rodger fall out his seat. She pushed her western style hat back to get to see the full performance.

"You've got to be kidding me." Mr. 0 gawked using his good hand to wipe off his forehead.

"It looks interesting let's give him a chance." Robin gave a little smile. Mr. 0 frowned and cowered back into his seat."

"Hi sweetypie! You look'n pretty fly!" Mystery Man exclaimed loud enough for the world to hear. He was pointing straight at Robin herself. She laughed a little unsure like. This was going to be interesting.

Mystery Man felt he gave the best dance of the lifetime. His moves were well timed. His gestures made strongly. He knew he had to join the team and he did his best. He felt that all his training up to the moment paid off. He had no regrets. The okama dance was full of grace and beauty and he performed it perfectly. Now he just had to wait to see what the 'judge' would say.

Crocodile laid back in his seat. He never was so tortured in his life. He shot a headlong glance to Robin to see her smiling back at him. Maybe she found it amusing that he was put in so much pain. He looked back at the stage. He didn't know rather to make him join due to his cruelty of the dance or kill him off the bat. The kill him now thought was the one he wanted but the guy had a devil fruit to change his appearance. And that tipped the scale in his favor

"Hey you! From now on you will be known as Mr. 2 Bon Clay."

Robin thought about it. So far Mr. 0 made it so that guys were named after numbers and ladies were named after holidays. She herself was Ms. AllSunday and he was Mr. 0. The funny thing was that he not only gave him a number but a holiday as well. Crocodile had a sick humor.

Mr. 2 looked as they walked off. He exhaled. He made it. And now he would teach everyone the Okama way. And maybe he will find some true friends. He waved excitedly as they left. He knew that if he had any orders that he would get them no matter where he was.

King Anthony: Remember to Review people. If you do I won't order henchman to go to you're home and kill your puppies.

Judy: You're so kind…

King Anthony: Til next chapter!


	2. Zoro's Way

King Anthony: This is actually the first I written but posted second due to certain reasons.

Judy: Probably just made a mistake and to lazy to fix it.

King Anthony: Dang Right! Anyway, I don't own any of this stuff as stated in Chapter 1.

Judy: And he still doesn't have a house.

King Anthony: Evil witch. Anyway enjoy this short selection. Zoro's Way.

The sun had partially disappeared beyond the horizon. It was a peaceful night, except Zoro… He was restless and wanted to try something new. He had been training relentlessly and he needed something else to do. He had nothing to practice on so he wanted something important to do. After all, he was first officer.

"Hey Nami"

"…." She was ignoring him.

"Hey Nami!" He said it a little louder this time. She turned her head away. "Hey bastard girl!"

She snapped, "What the hell do you want!"

"Let me steer."

"Hell no!"

Zoro turned to Luffy who was at the time slinging around the mast. He would go over Nami's head. Even she couldn't stop a pirate captain's direct order. He sneered at an early victory.

"Hey Luffy, can I steer the ship"

"Yeah!"

He turned to Nami, who had gone beat red, "He said I can steer". She stomped off with nothing else to say. He took control.

"I think this is Walt Disney World." Robin commented as she and Nami the tried to find where they were. As Luffy had donned a pair of mouse ears already and was asking other tourist where Treasure Island was. Chopper was being famed as being the next big Disney mascot with Ussop as his manager. Sanji was 'after' the Disney Princesses. Zoro was busy sword fighting with Captain Hook.

Judy: Hmm… good work.

King Anthony: I know already. Review people or else I'll cancel Fairly Oddparents and you will get no more Cosmo.


	3. Black Night

Judy: This one is called Black Night.

Don Krieg smirked. He was in his flagship with his armada of fifty ships behind him. His crew obeyed any order he gave, all 5,000 of them. He gave a hearty laugh that to the crew appeared from nowhere, but they got use to the fact that he laughed when he was excited. And this was excitement enough, sailing on the Grandline to find Gold Rodger's grand treasure, One Piece. His armored reflected the sun and he had the appearance of royalty. Nothing could stop him now.

The sky grew suddenly dark as if a sudden storm was to hit hard and fast. This did not worry him. He lived through hundreds of storms. But something did catch his eye. Some black cloaked figure standing on top of the sea. He stared at it amazed. He laughed it off as if he was seeing things. Again the crew ignored his constant no-reason laughter. He turned to his men only to find the cloaked figure in front of him. Krieg's head spun. He took a step back. This myth… The Grim Reaper stood only a few paces of him.

He snatched off his shoulder shields and combined them. A blade hot out and grabbed his pole and pushed it inside. His Great Battle Spear was ready. He swung down as hard as he could but it seemed to pass right through the figure. When it connected to the ground the explosion was hard enough to knock him back. There was smoke everywhere. When it finally cleared the figure was gone, but now the sky watch pitch black without a cloud in the sky.

He gazed about lost. He was still on the flagship. The other ships were still nearby. The crew was missing. His face reddened. He stared back into the sea and saw the black cloaked figure still standing on top of the water. Krieg delirious with anger he dropped his spear, flipped out his guns and pistols and rained bullets down. The water splash with each hit, yet the figure stayed unmoved. Krieg yelled at the top of his lungs cursing at him for not dying but it did little help.

The figure put his arm out and the sky parted just enough for the light to enter through a little crack. The narrow beam seemed to move towards Krieg's armada. The light moved over one of his ships and in the blink of an eye it was sliced clean through. That beam of light suddenly started targeting each one of his ships destroying each one like it was a hot knife cutting through rows of butter. Krieg spun around as he saw his armada destroyed.

The light turned towards the last ship, the flagship. The very ship Krieg was standing, gawking. His mind snapped. He jumped off the ship in fury and charged the figure. The water surged behind him. Creating a wave nearly two stories tall. It followed him as if it had a mind of it's own. Krieg knew in his head that this reaper would pay for ever messing with Admiral Don Krieg!

He could feel it. His flagship slashed. His heart jumped. He fell to his knees. The wave crashed over him. But before he blacked out he could see the reaper above him. He could see not his face but only a dark eye, an eye that pierced his very essence. For the first time since he could remember he felt fear. An emotion he had long forgotten. It rushed him. And then… The Darkness took him.

He awaked in his bed. His body covered in sweat. His breathing was labored. "Calm down, everything is fine." Krieg spun around. Gin was also in his bed. He screamed.

He awaked again and pulled a dagger and stabbed beside him. Nobody was there. He slumped back into his bed. Drenched in his own sweat he pushed aside the nightmare and focused on something else. Tomorrow he would reach the floating restaurant Baratie. His time would come again…

King Anthony: Read and Review people.


	4. Name Game

King Anthony: Word of Warning, Don't read this unless you have read chapter 387 of One Piece. If not you will find yourself at a complete loss or worse find a major spoiler.

Judy: This one is called, Name Game!

"I don't care what you say I won't allow you to name that move that!" Zoro yelled at Luffy while they sailed on to the next target on the Grandline. He was sitting against the mast while Luffy was standing before him. Sanji was busy cooking so Zoro had some non-curlybrow time to train. Nami and Robin were going over some maps, and Chopper and Ussop was making some brand new weapons. He had to deal with Luffy all by himself.

"Why, Zoro it's a cool name"

"You know why!"

Luffy had just made up a powerful technique that made the devil inside of him much stronger. Now came the hard part of naming that technique. Usually he would just name it after a gun or what the move looked like. This was not the case. He had found a name but Zoro had something dead against it.

"You have that _Three Thousand Wart_ move!"

"It's _Three Thousand Worlds_! And you can't say anything about that because it has nothing to do with your move!"

"You're just mad that my name is so much cooler then anything of yours!"

Zoro took much offense to this but made no physical reaction. In truth he would meditate all night just thinking of a cool names for his swordplay. Most of the time he used the animals of the Zodiac but in cases of _Oni-Giri_ and _Three Thousand Worlds_ he changed the formula for something fresh. He worked hard thinking of his moves and most of them had deeper meaning, not like Luffy's _Gomu Gomu Bazooka_ or _Gatling_. He took a deep breath. He was going to try one more time, but Luffy caught him off guard.

"I know! I'll call it soul of the sword!"

"You don't even use a sword!"

"Oh yeah, Can I borrow yours?"

"No!"

"I don't get it! What's wrong with _Gomu Gomu Sūpā Saiya-jin!_"

"How about _Second Gear_?" Nico Robin had walked up behind an aggrivated Zoro and surprised him. Usually he could feel human precense but Luffy had stretched him too far. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he tensed a little. "Yes, Second Gear. It's a rather good name don't you say so Mr. Swordsman?"

"Yeah." But even as he said that Luffy eyes had glazed over.

"_Second Gear_ is the coolest name! Thanks Robin!" He dashed off repeating the name several times out loud.

"It's time for lunch Zoro" She smiled and walked back towards the rest.

Zoro hated it when she actually used his real name. As far as he knew he was the only one. She only did it when no one else was in ear-shot and each time his hair would stand on end. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling. He brushed it aside like he always does and join the rest of the crew for lunch.

King Anthony: Hmm…. Makes you wonder if I'm working to make a bigger overall story doesn't it.

Judy: Nope.

King Anthony: Quiet! It helps if people think this is deeper then it is.

Judy: You better speak to me better or I'll hit you with my Bazooka attack!

King Anthony: Ha, yeah. And I can wield three swords at onc- (Judy pulls out a actual bazooka). Read and Review loyal fans!

Judy: Before I we go though, we would like to think the three that reviewed so far. Don't worry more stories about different characters other the Strawhats are coming up.

King Anthony: And this story is dedicated to Oda and Toriyama.


	5. Pirate Madness

Paulie walked into the classroom. He was going to introduce the kids to a very special guest speaker. He thought about how most places don't even have an organized school system and how he was glad to live in Water 7. He shook it off. The school brought him memories because it was the very same he attended, well long before he became Dock 1 Division Leader of the Galley-La Company. Memories of puppy love with the girls who wore elegant dresses. Not like now where all of them wear skimppy outfits showing off everything. A cough from outside the door brought him back to reality.

"Hey kids."

"Hi!" They all anwsered in unison. Some even knew hime because of their parents.

"I'm only here to show the guest where exatcly to go and here we are so I'm gonna leave now because I was only so busy when he forced me to take you here." He smiled back at the door. The kids had no clue who it was but it was obvious Paulie had a problem with him. "Here's Smokey!"

Smoker walked in followed by Master Chief Petty Officer Tashigi who was carrying a rare holo snail. He snarled at Paulie who brushed past him and looked at all the little kids. The little potentail pirates. He had to make sure that their futures styed where they needed to be and that was off the sea. It was his idea to do something about it but took Tashigi's suggestion to make what they were about to show. She was creative alright. A little clumsy, but creative non the lease.

"I have a special treat for you."

"Yeah what is it!" Anwsered a smart alec. Smoker felt the urge to smoke strike him but he held it back.

"A movie." Tashigi cut in, "Made by us for all of you." The class was in awe. Only a rare few got to see a movie. She set the holo snail in the back of the class. "Ready when you are Captain."

"Remember kids anything that happends in this movie can happen to you." He made sure to point around the class. "Roll'em"

King Anthony Writes a Marine Presents of a Smoker Presentation.

**Pirate Madness**

The screen opens up showing an old black and white grainy film. It's set at a small village harbor. There a small boy is seen walking along the board walk. He has on blue glasses and light pinkish hair. He walks past a man who has blonde hair fashion in a bowl cut. It looks as if is hair is a helmet. He also has a suave suit on.

"Yo, kid." The Seedy man started, "Where ya headed too?"

"My name is Koby and I'm going to learn how to become a carpenter so I can build boats just like my hero Tom."

"Ahh that corny mess. Listen kid I got something for you to hear. How'd you like to be a pirate?"

"No way man. That stuff is not for me. I like it here at home, living legally, with my swell girl."

"Girl! Let me tell you something. When you're a pirate you get all the girls you can take."

Koby hesitated before he replied, "It doesn't matter cause I won't be one anyway. The Marines are always after them because the justified Marines know that pirates are no good."

"Hmm… you got me there kid. Let me introduce myself. The name's Helmeppo. Hey let me show you something before you leave."

"Ok."

The scene changes to a medium sized pirate ship anchored in the town's harbor. The flag is a generic skull and crossbones. The ship is as generic as it comes. The entire crew is dancing around, stuffing themselves with food and just all-round partying. Helmeppo and Koby walk aboard. Koby is amazed.

"Wowee this is amazing! I never been to a party like this."

"Of course, you've never been a pirate." Helmeppo said smugly.

They walked thru the endless party. Helmeppo helped Koby to some Sea-Cow burgers that he mentioned came from Alabasta. Koby had a great time just being there. All the happiness must have been contagious. Helmeppo reached a door and walked in. Koby, unsure, followed him in.

"Arr, who be this that walks in uninvited, ya dig." A skinny man with heart shaped sunglasses and a weird beard asked while lying on a bed while being fed grapes by two succulent ladies.

"Captain Jango, this is a potential recruit." Helmeppo pushed Koby forward. "I'm showing him the life of a pirate show he can join our greatness."

"Arrrr, groovy man. Come here Kool Kat Koby."

Koby walked forward more as Jango sat up. Jango looked him over some and stroked his beard. Koby was nervous. He wasn't really sure he wanted to be a pirate, but they were all having so much fun. It made his whole life seem boring. There had to be some kind of difficult entering test to get in. He wasn't ready for all this. He started to think about his girl.

"Arrrgh, you're in."

"What! Really?"

"Welcome Kool Kat Koby to Jango's crew." Jango looked at Helmeppo, "Don't just stand Helmeppo show him how to really party. We leave tomorrow so make sure he enjoy himself, ya dig." Jango laid back down and Helmeppo and Koby rejoined the pirates. This time Koby was one of them. He was glad to be in.

The next day, bright and early, Helmeppo awaked Koby. He had forgotten how he found himself in the hammock. In fact the whole night was a blur. He stared squinty eyed at Helmeppo who still had his fancy suit on. Apparently it was his trademark or something.

"C'mon koby the siege is starting."

"Seige!"

"Yeah, captain's orders and we all follow captain's orders. We gotta mutilate this town before we go. Stealing everything we can and killing anybody that stands in out way."

"WHAT!"

"Calm down kid. You want to be one of us right. I mean last night it sure did look like it how you and Hina was making with the friendly."

"Hina!"

"Hina, is the most attractive lady on this ship and you don't remember! Even Captain Jango can't lay a finger on her and somehow she falls for you. Never mind all that we're late c'mon."

Helmeppo and Koby rushed out of the crew quarters. Koby's head was already spinning and when he reached the deck it even hurt more. The sun was a killer he thought. The entire crew was already up and Jango stood before them all. "ARRRRRGH! PARTY SIEGE TIME!" at that the crew started the raid. Koby ran with the crowd. He had to be the shortest one there next to Helmeppo. He felt he was going to be stepped on.

As he ran he was grabbed and pulled to the side. Shocked he looked up to see the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. She had perfect light pink hair that felled down her perfect hourglass figure. Hey eyes… That deep red lipstick. She had a deep pink suit on that showed off her body better then anything. She had purple gloves over the hands of heaven. Her body was heaven. He wanted to be lost in heaven. Lost forever with no cares. He felt himself flying over the world. Nothing else mattered. He flew around the sun. His cares were all gone. His headache had no chance against this angel. South birds join him in his flight. He skimmed the vast ocean of the night sky. All was right in the world.

"Hey K, you be safe out there." She stroked his face once and ran off with the rest of the crew.

"You too Hina." He caught himself. Time froze once again. That heavenly body was Hina. And if what Helmeppo said was true… "I am a pirate! Nothing stands in my way!" He dashed off. Fueled by his love for Hina to be the best pirate ever!

The village was in crisis. Homes were put into flames. Shops were being robbed of everything and citizens were being killed left and right. Blood was everywhere. Koby was setting homes on fire as he ran down the dirt road. He laughed manically as people were being roasted alive. That was until he reached one house. He stopped dead in his tracks. It was his girl's home. His ex-girl he thought. He thought about how she would be hiding inside fearful to come outside. He readied his torch. He was a pirate now and she was old news.

"Koby!" A girl's voice, someone he knew. He spun around.

"Tashigi!" How dark blue hair waved in the heat of the flames. Her dark eyes. She had on a flower pattern button-upped shirt that he had given here some time ago for their anniversary… He felt as if they both were all alone.

"Oh my god! I was looking all around for you! We have to get out of here!" She noticed his torch, "Koby?"

"I'm sorry Tashigi… It's something I must do."

"No!" her voiced was filled with hatred. Not hatred in him but in his idea. "You don't have to do anything except be with me! You can drop that and run away with me."

"I'm sorry Tashigi! But-"

"Koby, I love you too much to let you go on like this"

"Love!"

"Yes, I love you Koby! From the first time we met… I knew you would be the man I would marry! I love you so much!"

"Tash…"

Before he could finish, he found himself in a passionate kiss. His emotions surged. He wrapped his arms around her soft body. He did love her. In their embraced the blocked out everything that was happening around them. He felt her shudder. He opened his eyes. Something was amiss. She was gasping for air. She whispered something and then closed her eyes. Her body fell limp. He leaped back in surprised letting her body fall. His hand was covered in blood. He looked at her still body. She had been shot in the back, just above where his hand had been.

"Arrrr, my aim is as good as ever"

"Jango!" Koby had never experienced so much rage in his life.

"Kool Kat Koby this is you're punishment for kissing my girl last night."

"Hina! Idiot she's not you're girl!"

"Well in the future she will be. That's beside the point! As punishment you must suffer the wrath of a loved lost!" He laughed. A huge sudden explosion near the harbor caught them both off guard. "My groovy ship!" Another crewman ran up to him.

"Sir, the Marines are here!"

"What! They can't be here so fast! They must've been in the area. Uncool…Maybe we can bribe 'em."

"Sir, it's Absolute Justice Smoker"

"Lieutenant Fullbody, order the man to charge the harbor! They destroy our ship so we'll take theirs!"

"Yes Captain Jango"

Jango turned back to Koby "Captain's orders kid. Get to that harbor and take the ship you can have that wench Hina. But first we gotta make it out of here."

"Hina…" His rage turned to sadness.

He stormed the harbor. His eyes were closed. It was too much pain for him to bear. He had loved Tashigi and had fallen in love with Hina. Now that she was dead… The pirate life was the only thing for him. He ran right into a pole.

"You ok kid." Koby opened his eyes. It wasn't a pole it was a marine, a marine with three cigars in his mouth. "We gathered information telling us the town had been evacuated already. You gotta get out of here before the stike starts."

"Strike?"

"This village is too far gone. Our ships are gonna destroy everything with a cannon ball strike. I suggest you come with me."

"Why are you here then" Koby couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Don't worry about me" He raised his arm and turned it to smoke "I'm covered." It had to be Smoker.

"Then don't worry about me either because I'm a pirate!"

Koby dashed off. He had to reach Hina. He couldn't let both his loves die in one day. He had seen her charging the harbor with others. It wouldn't matter because all the marines were still aboard their ship. Smoker must've taken a lifeboat to reach the shore.

"Hina!" He yelled with all his might. She turned towards him and started to run in his direction. He could hear the marine ships starting to fire. He had to get her to safety. He ran towards her as fast as he could. He extended his arm. She reached out to grab him. The last thing he heard was a whistling sound before it all went dark.

The kids were just starring at the screen. Smoker coughed to le let Tashigi know to cut the holo-snail off. He walked to the center of the class.

"Remember kids. A pirate life is not the way to be. Stay in your village and make something for yourself, or you could end up as bad as Koby here. Tashigi let's go. I believe they get the message." He walked out. Tashigi ran after him and tripped before she reached the door. The holo-snail went flying out and you could hear Smoker yelling in pain.

King Anthony: That's all she wrote folks

Judy: Not really we have a special bonus for you DVD in Writing. You get to read some extra features from Smoker's movie. Enjoy!

**Smoker on Pirate Madness**

Smoker: Kids these days believe that being a pirate is cool. We here in the Marines learned that the best way to stop pirates is to stop the source. We show kids the violent truth of being a pirate and problem solved. However doing this proved to be irksome. We needed to do something to catch the kids' attention. Tashigi made the suggestion and I brushed it off. Heh, about an hour later I thought about it some more and the more I liked it. So I took it to the uppers and they approved. They gave me a super small budget to let me get it done. I decided that I would be the best director for the movie so I took the leadership role. The first thing we had to do was cast the roles.

Smoker: I turned to an old friend of mines Captain Hina. She was overjoyed about the fact of doing a movie. She also gave us Jango and Fullbody to use. And while Fullbody only had a small part, we decided to use Jango as the captain. He kept moonwalking everywhere so we had to shoot him either just standing or laying. We went to Hina's home base and picked upped Koby and Helmeppo from Vice-Admiral Garp. Last but not least we used my Tashigi to play the role of the girlfriend. That's our full cast right there. They picked up acting pretty quickly. Tashigi was perfect. She was the actress that everyone had to keep up with. Even I was amazed.

**Outtakes/Behind the Scenes Fun**

Hina: Hey K, you be safe out there.

Koby: Will you marry me!

Jango: She's mine!

-

Helmeppo: I'm showing him the life of a pirate show he can join our greatness.

Jango: Fo-sizzle

-

Jango: As punishment you must suffer the wrath of a loved lost!

(Waits for explosion)

Smoker: Geesh, can't Nezumi get anything done right!

-

(Her body fell limp. He leaped back in surprised letting her body fall. His hand was covered in blood.)

Koby: Is this ketchup! (Tashigi starts laughing)

**-**

**Koby:** I'm sorry Tashigi! But-

**Tashigi:** Koby, I love you too much to let you go on like this

**Koby**: Love!

**Tashigi:** Yes, I love you Koby! From the first time we met… I knew you would be the man I would marry! I love you so much!

**Koby:** Tash… (Before he could finish, he found himself in a passionate kiss. His emotions surged. He wrapped his arms around her soft body. He did love her)

**Smoker**: Perfect! Cut, that first take really takes the cake. (They continue to kiss) Tashigi!

(Elsewhere but not to far)

**Jango:** Wow man, they're really going at it.

**Helmeppo:** I think Tashigi acted so well that they both think it's real.

**Hina:** Or it could be that it's her first kiss.

**Jango/Fullbody**: You're so smart Captain Hina! I'm sure that's it.

(Back to Koby and Tashigi)

**Koby:** Wow, that was amazing…

**Tashigi:** (blushing) Yeah…

**Smoker:** Cut it out you two!

**Koby/Tashigi:** Yes sir!

**Pirates on Pirate Madness**

Shanks: Do we really say arrrrgh that much!

Beckman: I'm surprised he didn't have a patch and a parrot.

Shanks: That's probably for the sequel.

Roux: I want a Sea-Cow burger from Alabasta.

Yassop: Shall we set sail captain!

Shanks: Arrrgh, to Alabasta! See, it just doesn't work.

-

Ussop: I should've played the captain. I would've been perfect.

Sanji: Hina! Oh that name brings happiness to my heart!

Zoro: Idiot…

Nami: Who made this pile of junk anyway?

Robin: It was written and directed by Smoker.

Toni: Why don't you say 'Arrrr' Luffy?

Luffy: Zzzzzzzz

Sanji: …Hey look meat.

Luffy: Where!

Ussop: Arrrrrggh

King Anthony: Seeya next Chapter people!

End Transmission


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One Piece, Humor