Harry Potter, Naruto 1. Talking with Demons

Okay, so I'm doing this. Yes!

Talking with a Demon

Rating: strong T

Word Count: 1,083

Summary: Gaara has some trouble with his demon.

(**)

"**They don't love you, runt. They hate you. Late at night 'Sev' thinks of poisoning you but he knew that I would simply protect you. Don't you see? I'm the only one you really got. So just let me out. Let me break their bones and drink their blood like I… like you are meant to. You know that is why we exist. To kill… to destroy. Come on. Let me out. Let. Me. Out!" **

Gaara clapped his hands over his ears as he tried to rid his mind of the evil words that echoed in his mind. He knew that it was Shukaku and he knew that it was probably the full moon that shone down on the redhead that caused the demon to torture him so but knowing didn't help. If anything it made it worse! Tears began to pool in his eyes as the demon started another round of speaking.

"**No one loves you Gaara… no one. You were made to be a weapon. To fight! Why else would Sev keep you so close? What other reason could he have to let a Seven Swordsmen train you? So you can fight… so you can kill! It's your only reason for living Gaara. It's MY only reason for being in you. Let me out Gaara. Come, let me out. Remember… I'm your mommy and good boys should listen to their mommies." **

Gaara rocked on the edge of the rooftop, not caring if he were to fall or not. Maybe it would be better if he fell. He would be dead and not so confused anymore or maybe it would make Shukaku shut his mouth! It wasn't his mother! His mama was nice with pretty blond hair and warm eyes that looked just like Y—

"**I see you remember him. He may have been an idiot but he was right. You are a worthless runt. You should be dead but I keep you alive. I protect you Gaara… so let me out. Come on… let me out so I can do what you want so badly to do. If you don't, I will break out. You think you can hold me back? I'll break out and I'll kill each and every one of them. I'll start with Haku. I'm sure he'll make such pretty squeals as I break his arms and legs lovely but surely. I'll enjoy the feel of Naruto's strong lungs when I reach my hand deep inside and squeeze until that damn nine tail no longer has a host and Sev… oh your new papa… he's going to be saved for last. Oh, he'll be the best because he'll try to help you—try to get inside your head but it won't work. I'll drive sand through his eyes first." **

Gaara shook his head hard, tears flowing down his round cheeks. Maybe if he shook his head as hard as possible, it would cause the mean words to flow out like water. It didn't work. Shukaku continued to drill disgusting scenarios into his mind that became more vivid and more gruesome. The kanji that had been burned into his forehead didn't hurt more than the pain in his chest that was caused by what Shukaku painted.

"Just STOP IT!" Gaara shrieked, fists flying as hard as they could into his head, trying to knock some silence into Shukaku. It was only by some miracle he got the first three hits out before his sand darted from somewhere in the house and gripped his wrists.

"Gaara…?" a voice called out. Gaara whirled around, nearly losing his balance as he came face to face with the other jinchuuriki in the house. Of course Naruto didn't know that he had a demon and, briefly, he thought to tell the boy. He wanted someone that understood what he was talking about but that was something Shukaku would do! It was something that would put him in the same category as the crazed demon.

"I'm sorry!" Naruto shouted as fresh tears fell. He didn't know what he had done to cause the reaction to go from bad to worse but he didn't want to see his little brother crying. Naruto rushed forward and pulled Gaara into a tight hug.

"He… he won't stop talking," Gaara whispered, wrapping his arms around Naruto's middle and sobbed harder into the older boy's shirt. Naruto patted the smaller back, feeling sympathy curling at his toes. Even though he didn't have a demon, he knew how it felt to have mean voices call you name and tell you hateful things. "He… he said that you all hate me. That I'm nothing but… but a weapon and that Sev wants to kill me or use me like my Kazekage."

"Gaara Sev-chan is our papa! He don't hate you! He loves you and I loves you and Haku loves you… I'm not sure bout Zabuza but he don't count cause he's too tough to say he loves us and too scared of papa to say he hates us," Naruto laughed. Gaara picked up his head from the damp shirt and looked at his blond brother before smiling a watery smile.

"You… you think he's scared of papa?" Gaara whispered.

"Trust me… everybody and everything scared of papa! There was this rock on the ground and it almost tripped Sev and he glared at it and it peed on itself!" Naruto joked. Gaara let out giggles at the mental image that he could easily imagine. It was sometime, when the sun was coming up, that Gaara noticed that Naruto had spent the entire night telling stories and jokes. Some of them hadn't been funny and some of his tales hadn't made sense—the Prince and the Ninja was his favorite—but the blond had stayed the entire night with him. He had caused Shukaku's ramblings to take the backseat in his mind and, now that the sun was awake, the beast was silent.

"Thank you Naruto," Gaara whispered as he looked at the obviously tired blond. The boy's eyes held dark bags but a bright smile erupted on the full mouth any way. He slung an arm around the pale shoulders, forcing the shorter boy to lean on him as they faced the sunrise.

"You're my brother! Of course… but… I think I'm going to take a nap now," Naruto yawned, almost immediately falling asleep against the pale shoulder. Gaara giggled with relief as snores began to sound softly from the blond.

(**)

**The End **

So, at first, I was going to have Severus come help Gaara but then I thought Naruto would be better.

Are there any scenes you guys specifically want to witness?


	2. itch

Itchy

Summary: Zabuza looks for his sword

Rating: PG

Words: 728

(**)

He couldn't stand it anymore! It had been two months—two!—in which he had been without his beloved sword. For days he tried to convince himself that it was okay because Severus didn't have a way of destroying his precious blade but those days were in the past and those words were no comfort to him any longer. His hand had started to _itch _because his sword hadn't been wielded in months! And it wasn't a tiny itch, no it made his skin burn with the need to scratch and bite and scream.

Haku, Gaara, and Naruto were at school—the one that was close to Severus' job at the hospital while said man was at work. Zabuza was in the house, all alone and he was going to search from the tip-top of the house to the bottom until he found his damn sword.

"Not there… not there," Zabuza muttered as he searched Severus' room. He lightly tapped on the walls, listening carefully for any hollow areas that were large enough to hide his sword. He looked under the bed because, no matter how obvious the hiding space, it was still a very good one mostly on the sole fact that no one expects someone to be stupid enough to hide anything of value under the bed. Zabuza found nothing but a few strands of hair that belonged to Naruto (probably during their hide from naptime game) and some dust. Zabuza let out a sob and moaned for his beloved sword while he kept from biting at his hand. It would be hard to explain the marks to Severus, who was sure to notice.

Zabuza let out a huff and pulled himself from under the bed, standing up and carefully scanning the room. He had checked the closet which only held the clothes that Severus owned, and not even all of them. The drawers held some knives and glinting bottles filled with some foreign liquid that gave him a bad feeling. The floors held no hollow spaces. The bed merely housed Severus. The… wait… what?

"Good afternoon," Severus waved with that godforsaken smirk on his face. Zabuza felt his mouth fall open and, without the bandages he normally wore, Severus saw the action happen. He knew he shouldn't have offered the train the man—he had gotten quieter (if that was possible) and faster!

"How long were you sitting there?" Zabuza demanded through his chagrin. He had to get his mind away from his sword, obviously he was going insane. He twitched as his hand gave another itching sensation.

"Not very long, sometime when you ventured under my bed and started to sob about your mass of metal," Severus stated, smoothing a hand over the top of his medium height ponytail. Zabuza blushed heavily, forgetting that he had been sobbing a little bit.

"Don't insult my sword… I just want to find it," Zabuza sighed, giving in and picking at the sensation on his right hand.

"I could simply give it to you if you are becoming desperate to have it in your possession," Severus assured him, not moving an inch from off the bed. Zabuza growled and folded his arms. If he allowed Severus to simply give him his sword, it was almost like saying that he was less of a man! He was more than enough ninja to find his sword that a Magic User hid without the use of magic.

"I will find it on my own," Zabuza insisted. Severus nodded, obviously predicting he would do such a thing. Zabuza twitched and a growl slipped through his lips. He could only think of forcing that damn smirk of the man's face.

Perhaps that's why he found himself on top of the skinnier man, pinning him easily with the bulk of his weight on the delicate body below him. He stared down at the widened black eyes that looked back at him with a calm surprise. At least it wasn't fury. He liked where his testicles rested.

"I knew there was a way to make that smirk go away," Zabuza whispered before lowering his lips on the oddly soft ones below him. He pulled away before he gave into the temptation to thoroughly ravish that mouth and rolled from the bed.

As he walked down the hallway, he noticed the itch had gone away.

(**)

The End


	3. Birthday

Happy Birthday

Rating: G

Summary: Haku is eight!

Words: 995

(**)

Haku walked home slowly, head down. He couldn't help but feel a bit sad after being left to go to school all alone. Well, he had gone to school with his brothers but Severus had pulled them out early while leaving Haku all alone. It wasn't fair and then the nice old woman at the hospital said that Severus had not been in all day.

So there Haku was… walking home all alone. He jogged as he saw his house coming into view, not wanting to wake up later than his brothers after their demanded nap. Well, only he and Naruto would sleep. Gaara had some kind of demon that didn't let him sleep. It was odd to think that the little redhead stored any kind of demon but it was apparently true.

"SURPRISE!"

Haku let out a shriek as Naruto and Gaara popped up suddenly, waving their arms about. His little heart thudded in his chest as he observed their home. Zabuza was sitting on the arm of the couch, arms folded as a birthday hat was placed atop his head. He certainly didn't look like he wanted the hat upon his head but a quick glare from Severus caused him to stop scowling. There was a large, bright banner hanging up that exclaimed happy birthday for him—oh today was his birthday!

"Happy eight birthday, Haku," Severus said calmly even as Gaara and Naruto bounced around the newly turned eight year old. Haku beamed at his family. He never had a birthday party or even celebrated the day he was born because his father wasn't the celebratory kind of man and they were just not wealthy enough to afford anything more than a 'happy birthday'.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday HAKU! You're eight now!" Naruto started, obviously excited.

"Severus baked a cake—we had to argue with him to make it in the shape of a very, very large cupcake," Gaara jumped in, dragging the boy into the festive looking house. Haku wondered how much arguing was used to make the house this bright.

"Only 'cause we all know how much you love cupcakes," Gaara and Naruto both stated at the same time. Haku nodded, still smiling hard. He couldn't believe that all this was done for his birthday. Severus was standing in front of a cake that was, indeed, shaped like a cupcake. It had been meticulously covered in icing with words wishing him a happy birthday around the sides like wrapping while eight candles stuck out from the top of the cake.

"He let me and Gaara help making all your favorites for dinner—Gaara almost caused a fire so he had to help Zabuza with the decorations. It was funny because Zabuza kept complaining and he was pouting!" Naruto nearly fell because of hard he was laughing.

"I do not pout, brat," Zabuza growled.

Nothing in the entire world could have brought a bigger smile to Haku's face. There had been dancing and, even though Severus glared at him when they had suggested that he joined but Zabuza had pulled him out and forced him to sway to the music.

"Come on and dance papa!" Haku urged, grabbing a long fingered hand and pulling him away from Zabuza. Severus stared at him for a long time before letting out a loud sigh. Haku thought that he wouldn't dance with him but soon he was dancing in a rather flowing matter, keeping in perfect beat with the music. Soon Gaara and Naruto had joined them and they were all laughing and mimicking the willowy man.

After the fun dancing, the music was turned down quite a bit and they dug into cake and dinner _before _dinner! Zabuza had even told a joke that made everyone, including their papa, laugh. Haku had never seen the man's face light up like that but it was awesome.

Then there were gifts to be handed out. Naruto had gotten him a pretty music box with a softly spinning ballerina inside; Zabuza had gotten him a beautiful porcelain mask with a red swirl and four small marks on it and a pretty green kimono; and Severus had given him an anklet with dancing figures on it and a beautiful portrait of their family. He didn't know how Severus did it but the picture actually moved. The tree actually swayed in the soft wind while the bunnies bounced around. Zabuza was leaning under the tree, cleaning a blade while looking out at them while Severus sat beside him with a book. Haku was petting one of the bunnies while Gaara and Naruto chased each other around.

"That… is amazing," Zabuza stated. Naruto and Gaara nodded with stunned faces.

"You would not believe the amount of magic that went into it… two potions kept me from falling unconscious. Quite a few stops the picture from being destroyed," Severus stated, preening under the obvious praises.

"Thank you all!" Haku gushed, looking at his gifts.

"Um… Haku?" Gaara came forward, holding something behind his back. Haku picked up his head and stared at the redhead. He didn't have a lot of time with Gaara like he did Naruto seeing as the boy was so much more outgoing and talkative than the smaller boy.

"Here," the boy pushed something in his hands. Haku looked at the necklace, staring at the phial tied to it. Inside was sand but it wasn't just any sand. The sand swirled inside the jar like a mini sandstorm.

"This… this is your sand?" Haku whispered, looking up at the redhead. Gaara nodded with a small smile.

"I didn't know what to get you so I… thought but if you don't like it—," Haku cut the fumbling Suna-native off with a tackling hug though a burst of sand stopped the younger boy from being hurt. He sat up and looked down at his brother.

"This is the best birthday I could ever hope for."

(**)

So Zabuza gave Haku his mask, color me cliché. And so Severus had to have the best gift, he's an ambitious Slytherin after all.


	4. Don't Leave Me

I'm actually adding another chapter of this because I can't think of anything to put on 'Perfect Scenario' which really sucks because… well… it's the MAIN fic I'm working on. Well, I have the other two but they were random.

Summary: Severus has decided to tell Naruto that he's a jinchuuriki.

Rating: Teen-ish

Words: 1,349

(**)

Severus gazed into the cup of hot tea, the steam still swirling on the surface of the liquid. He had made it seconds before after his nightmare decided to come back after being MIA for weeks. It was unfortunate that he had yet to force himself to seek out Zabuza for comfort and Gaara was under a new variation of Dreamless Sleep that was successfully holding so far. He hadn't seen the sand shift and the boy's face was completely relaxed. When the redhead awakened, he would have to ask him if anything odd happened and hopefully he wouldn't lie.

He let out a sigh and brought the cup to his lips, listening to the silence that echoed in the still house. Never had Severus thought that he would actually long for Naruto chattering on about trivial things or the gritty movement of Gaara's sand or the musical laughter of Haku as he danced around for little reason than he was happy. He hadn't thought that he would miss the perverted comments of Katsuya or the straying hands of Zabuza.

A smile flitted across his pale features as he knew that it wouldn't be but hours until most of those events occurred when everyone was conscious. Family life wasn't as horrid as Severus had forced himself to believe. It was quite comfortable once he stopped lying to himself.

"Sev!"

The Potions Master nearly threw his cup as he launched out of his chair, ears alert as the cry from one of his sons echoed in the silence. There was a thud and Severus was already at the stairs when the boy's bedroom door was thrown open. He came face to face with a sweating Naruto, blue eyes half-mast with sleep but body tense with fear that rolled off his short body. Severus met him half way, glancing into the room to see that the other two were perfectly fine so it must have been a nightmare that caused such a reaction.

He pulled the clinging boy from his legs and moved the weight to his arms, carrying the child down the stairs so that they would not wake Haku. He looked down at Naruto who was looking about frantically while hugging his neck and waist as tightly as his arms could which was short of cutting off Severus' airways completely. He had never seen such fear in the cheerful blond, never knew that the child would ever have such an expression.

"Naruto, what is wrong?" Severus murmured. Naruto let out a sob, tears soaking into his shirt and pushed his body closer as if to sink into him. Severus made several noises of comfort and rubbed the child's back the same as he had done Haku.

"Sev, I don't want you to leave me. You're my papa and I love you, Sev. Please say you won't leave me," Naruto begged, pulling his face from the thin man's chest. Severus' brow furrowed in confusion but his nod was cut off as the child's hands cupped his face desperately and blue eyes burned into his.

"Promise!" he practically demanded.

"Naruto, I am not going anywhere, now tell me what has gotten that silly thought in your head that I was," Severus finally said, grabbing the tan hands and pulling them from his face. Naruto's entire body loosened and a small smile spread across his face.

"I—don't think I'm crazy. But there's this voice in my head," Naruto confessed as he settled onto his papa. He wrapped his arms across the man's thin waist and dug his head into the man's chest, obviously deciding where he would be resting for the remainder of the evening. He felt Severus stiffen and then relax once again.

"Continue," Severus urged.

"It… sometimes it says mean things when I'm really, really quiet. When I talk it doesn't say anything like his voice is too low to be heard over mine so I always talk. But… at night, I can't talk and that's when he talks. He says stuff like… like you don't love me. And that I should kill you and… it's so—so horrible. It likes blood and it likes Gaara in a bad way but it calls him Shukaku," Naruto whimpered a little but relaxed as Severus' hand rested onto his bad. He paused and enjoyed the feeling of his papa comforting him and he rubbed it in the evil's voice face. Sev would never leave him or hurt him. Sev loved him. As he silently boasted to himself, he noticed that the voice had yet to speak during their quiet moment and Naruto was happy.

"It first started to talk when I was four. The village kids were chasing me and… I couldn't run fast enough. They were calling me names and throwing rocks at me. And one of them hit me in the head really hard, right here," Naruto parted his hair to show a faint scar in his scalp. Severus winced as he thought of how much blood must have been pouring from the young child. "It hurt really bad and I couldn't stop bleeding. Then they was all around me. They were still calling me names and kicking dirt in my eyes and I was crying. I was so—so scared. That's when it started to talk. It told me that if I hurt them… killed them then they wouldn't hurt me. I was gonna listen to it. I was gonna hurt them but somebody had came. He yelled at the mean kids and helped me to the hospital. When nobody helped he yelled at all of them until they were looking down at their feet and then they helped. He was nice—said that when I started the Academy that I'd be one of his students."

Severus felt guilt nibbling at his toes and starting to reach upwards until it would eventually engulf him. It wasn't right that Naruto ignorantly had to fight his demon in the still of the night. He hit himself in only thinking of Gaara who didn't have a seal and not of the cheerful blond who spoke of the horrors his demon haunted his dreams in the silence of the night and sometimes came to him in the light of morning. It was obvious that sometimes Naruto's smiles would be forced or just not at their full potential but he had been thinking of Gaara and Haku and all of their safety.

"And… then it… sometimes I think I see it when I'm sleeping but I don't really remember. I just remember standing in front of a big, big gate. It's so dark and I'm really, really scared. I keep looking around but there's nothing but this big gate and then I notice the white sign on it but I can't see what it says. Then the voice starts talking from behind the gate. It's telling me to let it out and then I see it but I never remember what it looks like but I know that I see it because I wake up."

Severus felt his determination come full force. He was going to tell the boy that he was harboring a demon. It would answer Naruto's unsaid questions about the voice he heard and it would help the child come to term. Naruto also had the right to know. Hell, it would probably save someone's life if the demon he held were to ever full convince the child to let it loose. He had yet to find out what demon Naruto harbored but he was sure he could find out.

"Naruto, the voice you hear is a demon's. You are a jinchuuriki like Gaara but I do not know what demon you have. Your brother has Shukaku, the One-Tailed beast. If you would like to know which… demon…?" Severus frowned as he heard snoring and looked down to see Naruto sleeping. Drool was dripping from his mouth and Severus felt his crooked nose wrinkle in disgust. Severus sighed and allowed his head to fall backwards.

He had been so close…

(**)

The End

Okay, so I got some hopes up that Naruto would finally know about his demon but, eh. Sacrifices have to be made. What do you think?

I actually made this because Naruto doesn't have it easy no matter how much he smiles. His demon still wants to get out like all the other demons do.


	5. Stealth

Finally a sorta funny one! I don't own anything!

Title: Stealth (take one)

Rating: Kiddy... ish. More like teen

Words: 981 (short)

(**)

"The most important lesson of being a ninja is stealth," Zabuza lectured, standing in front of the boys. Sometimes he would look at them in the middle of their training and the only thing he could really think is how impossible it was that he was teaching children of all things on how to fight. If it wasn't for the thin, dark haired Magic User, he would sooner throw the brats than train them.

"Wait, if that's the most important then how come we learned about our short/long range weapons first?" Naruto asked, scratching at one of his tanned cheeks in confusion. Zabuza often wondered how the boy kept up such a perfect tan in a place that rarely had a sun but he kept such juvenile thoughts in the back of his mind. Instead he focused on the way he could absolutely drown in Severus' dark eyes.

"Naruto, shut up," Gaara ordered, elbowing his older brother. Naruto glared at the shorter boy, sticking out his tongue childishly which was ignored by Gaara immediately. Zabuza let out a sigh and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, pinching it several times in aggravation. He opened his mouth to yell at them but was beaten to it by the oldest of the boys; Haku.

"Don't be mean to Naruto, Gaara. It's not nice!" Haku scolded the jinchuuriki. Gaara folded his arms over his chest and stepped back to look at his oldest brother and not the blonde's triumphant facial expression. It was obvious that the blond was pretty smug that someone was on his side.

"I'm not being mean, he's being stupid," Gaara defended himself. Naruto glared and stepped until he and Gaara were foot to foot. The smaller boy didn't even flinch or raise a brow, instead simply tilting his head slightly so that they were nose to nose.

"I'm not stupid ttebayo!" Naruto shouted, face turning red. He remembered all the other kids making fun of him because he couldn't read the signs for the food and his teachers never liked him enough to help him at the orphanages, when he stayed of course. So having his little brother, who was well versed with the alphabet, call him stupid not only hurt his feelings but made him angry.

"Are too!" Gaara yelled back, using his hands to push the bigger boy away. It was the first time Gaara had ever resorted to physical violence in which his body ever touched another's. Now he understood why boys did it so much—it felt so much better to—

"Why you—!" Naruto had tackled Gaara. The redhead didn't understand why his sand hadn't reacted to Naruto attacking him but it hadn't and now they were rolling around on the ground. Zabuza blinked several times, his mouth open as he gazed at the boys rolling about, kicking and yelling without a single bit of finesse. Where had he gone wrong? Where were all the dangerous moves he taught the boys? A tiny piece of Zabuza's soul broke in half.

"You guys, stop fighting!" Haku ordered, running over to his brothers and trying to break it up. A hand shot out, either Gaara's or Naruto's, and pulled his hair causing him to fall in their brawling circle. Haku blocked a foot and started pulling and punching at the other two just as immaturely as his brothers were at him.

Zabuza couldn't believe it. The brats were wrestling in the mud, ignoring every bit of training he had put them through. He didn't see a single glint of a blade and none of the fighting techniques were being utilized as if they had never been taught. Zabuza wished for a nice, cold drink—one that would burn the failure that was happening at the moment.

"So, this is what you teach them… I always envisioned something more… graceful, perhaps even deadly," a velvety voice purred, causing Zabuza's chest to tighten oddly. He turned his head to see Severus smirking beside him, having obviously just gotten there.

"This is not what I teach them," Zabuza protested. He turned to the brats and barked, "Stop brawling like disgusting animals and fight as I have taught you!"

It was as if he spoke another language for he was completely ignored. For a brief, barbaric moment, he considered jumping in the fray and knocking their heads together but it would simply prove… something that was really bad.

"Yes… I am glad to see that your instructions are heeded well. Do they also oink on command?" Severus taunted. Zabuza glared at the man and held back from tackling him to the ground so that he could ravish that mocking mouth but he resisted. Instead he settled for glaring evilly which Severus simply smirked and purposely looked up at him through his thick eyelashes. Oh, he was being a damn tease and there was no way that it was an accident!

"You can't break them up," Zabuza challenged. Severus raised a brow and walked over to the brawling boys, standing in front of their pile very calmly. He observed them, tilting his head this way and that before shaking it slightly.

"Stop this at once," Severus commanded softly. It had to be magic. Snape had to have waved his hand or said a spell because, suddenly, the boys were not fighting and they were all on their knees, looking guiltily up at the skinny man. He folded his arms and the boys each turned a different shade of red. His dark eyebrow was raised high up his forehead, waiting in a completely impatient patient way.

"I'm sorry," they announced clearly and collectively. Severus nodded sharply and turned on his heel, a smug smirk painted on his pale lips as he sauntered away. Zabuza frowned deeply and looked back at the thoroughly chastened boys.

Yes, the man had to have used magic.

(**)

The End

So… I guess that lesson in stealth didn't go as planned, huh?


	6. Camera

Since something bad is happening in Perfect Scenario, I thought I'd make something happy in this one.

Rating: K

Words: 1092

Summary: The Children want to take a picture

(**)

Gaara pulled on his pants, falling out of the bed as he rolled around trying to get them on. He was caught by two warm arms and looked up to see Severus raising a brow down at him. He hadn't even heard his papa enter the door much less come near the bed. The man tilted his head and straightened, easily picking Gaara up as he stood to his tall height.

"What are you doing, boy?" Severus inquired, shifting the squirming five year old around until he finally buttoned the black pants.

"Today's Market Day! I was trying to get dressed in a hurry so we can go for food and get our own stuff!" Gaara chirped, quite excited for what the day could hold. He was placed back on the ground and he was off with his shirt in hand until he bumped into his brother who had also been running.

"Gaara, you excited too!?" Naruto shouted, falling to the ground with the redhead. Gaara looked down on him and nodded eagerly—they were both super excited. He pushed himself to his feet then aided his brother before dashing to the stairs and started down them, pulling his shirt over his head. He ran into his soft sand that kept him from hitting the wall at full speed.

"We do this every weekend, how are you two still excited?" Haku chided in all of his eight year old wisdom. Gaara stuck out his tongue and willed his sand to go back in his backpack. Gaara made a mental note (as only a five year old could) to make or get a better item to hold his sand in.

"Are you three ready… Naruto, shoes are necessary if you want to leave the house," Severus pinched at the bridge of his nose as the forgetful blond gazed down at his bare feet and ran back off to his room. He let out a sigh and leaned against the door behind him, observing the children carefully. The weather was getting a bit cold so they both had on coats and scarves.

"I'm READY! Let's GO!" Naruto shouted, darting through the door. His brothers ran after him though Severus walked at his normal sedated pace.

(**)

"How much, how much?" Naruto demanded excitedly, holding the camera in his hand and waving it under the merchant's nose. The young man looked down at the bubbling blond and glanced at the father who wasn't standing very far away. The man was observing the fresh fish with a critical eye, barely looking at the shaking new fishermen that had gotten it.

"Hey, you're the doctor's kid, right?" the merchant asked. Naruto looked back at his papa with proud eyes and nodded quickly.

"Yeah!" he cheered. The merchant let out a hearty laugh and ruffled the blond hair.

"This camera has instant pictures so you might want this camera too. Your papa should know how to develop the pictures. Your dad saved my father from a stomach ulcer, the man works miracles so I'll give you a discount kid," the kind man offered.

"Really? Thanks!" Naruto placed the yen that his papa had been paid in and measured how much would be the usual gold pieces and gave the man an equivalent of one gold piece. The merchant let out a hearty laugh once again and patted the spiky blond hair. The boy bounced away with his purchases in his hand and to a baking cart for some treats.

"So, what did you get—I got this cool lamp! Look, it's gonna move when we plug it up," Gaara was practically squealing with his excitement, showing the lamp with the cut out shapes and three bulbs. Naruto grinned, he wanted to go home to see how it worked now but first he had to show his family the camera he bought.

(**)

"Excuse, ma'am could you take a picture of us?" Haku kindly asked a passing woman, holding out the cameras that Naruto had handed him. She smiled gently and took the camera, facing the posing family. Well Naruto was smiling brightly while he held two fingers behind Gaara's head, the redhead was leaning backwards on their papa with his arms thrown over his brothers' shoulders, and Haku was sticking out his tongue. The black haired man simply stood there, a careful grin on his face. The woman took a picture with the Polaroid first and held up the other camera.

"Could you come down a bit? You are so much taller than the boys," the kind woman spoke to Severus. The man let out a sigh and glanced down at his sons, slowly getting to his knees and allowing them to hug him for their last photo. A click later and the woman was handing back their cameras and placing her purchases on her arms once again.

"Now that we have bothered strangers, do the three of you deem it prudent to leave? I am sure there is someone that would love to take a picture with you," Severus smirked down at his sons and watched proudly as their faces slowly mirrored his expression as they caught on.

(**)

Zabuza was innocently washing the dishes. He had been so bored while the house was empty and training hadn't helped at all. Honestly, Zabuza needed some kind of disguise so that he could leave without being caught unawares. He sighed a little and rinsed the soap from the last bowl and leaned slightly on the sink.

"ZABUZA!" three excited voices yelled. The man whirled around just in time to receive three little bodies to the chest, neck, and thighs. A series of clicks were heard as he let out a short grunt as they hit him and a slight hiss as he hit the floor. He looked up into the three young faces that were smiling down at him and to the side where Severus stood holding…

"Did you take surprise pictures of me?" Zabuza demanded, frowning deeply at the Magic User.

"It was their idea," Severus pointed to the boys. Three little mouths fell open and they stumbled on their words.

"He's—he's lying!" Haku insisted.

"Now why would I do that…?" the innocent, pale man smiled.

"RUN FOR IT!" Naruto shouted, dashing away as Zabuza made it to his feet. Gaara and Haku scrambled away also, all three going in separate directions though they knew that the muscled man would eventually catch up with them.

They were so going to get their papa back to this.

(**)

The End

Humor! I have it.


	7. Scowl

Title: Scowl

Rating: K

Summary: Haku is sad because he looks like a girl

Words: 458

(**)

"Haku, are you alright?"

"No, papa, I'm not."

"Child, there is a foolish belief among children that adults can read minds. I shall put such a belief to rest and tell you that I cannot do such a thing."

"Your hair is long."

"That is something that I am well aware of but surely that is not causing you to pout at the mirror."

"I was glaring and no, it's not. It's just that… your hair looks the same as mine except yours has white in it. But I don't here nobody ever call you a girl or mistake you for a lady or anything girly! Boys and girls at my school keep calling me a girl and I'm not. I'm a boy!"

"There is very little reason to shout Haku and there was once a time—before I came to the Hidden Countries—when a group of boys made fun of my long hair."

"Someone actually made fun of you? Not to be mean papa but you're scary when you wanna be. Only people that don't know that are idiots… and Naruto but you know sometimes…"

"Naruto is not thoughtless, just painfully optimistic and naïve. Yes, there were those that sought fit to anger me. They often pranked me into skirts or other cruel things. Do you know how I repaid such buffoonery?"

"I hear some parents tell their kids to simply walk away and the bully will leave them be."

"Poppycock is what I call that nonsense. Oh no, I do not believe nor condone such foolish sentiments. In my school days, I simply hexed their faces off. There were times in which I was sent to the Headmaster's office after doing such horrendous things to the idiots."

"Wow… what did you do?"

"Various things that you do not need to know. However, you are not Magical and you cannot use chakra in this town."

"Oh yeah… so what can I do?"

"Haku, has anyone ever told you that 'sticks and stones' drivel?"

"Yeah…"

"Well that's also poppycock. Words are your best friend and if you hone them just right, you will break the strongest man down into dust. The bullies you face now do not have much brainpower so your insults must be short and to the point and it would not hurt to sneer."

"Gaara said that you made a rock cry one time by glaring at it and Zabuza was crying when he saw it the first time you two met."

"That is very much true on both accounts so now I shall teach you the 'Glare of Snape's Wrath'. A very silly girl gave it that name but we shall mold it into 'Glare of Snape's Wrath: Children edition'."

"Let's get started!"

(**)

The End

So yes, that's how Haku learned how to sneer the way he does. Much better than Daichi


	8. Two Daughters

Two daughters?

Rating: K

Summary: Shizune finds that she's curious on her first night there

Words: 576

(**)

It was time to sleep in the bustling house of Severus Snape and Company. The only problem was the arrangements. It was already set that TenTen would not be walking to her 'home' at such a late hour. Severus glared at the girl hard enough that such a thought flew from her little mind at that instance. Tsunade and Shizune were sharing a room and a bed of course and Zabuza would be staying in his own room.

"Not fair," Zabuza grumbled childishly under his breath as he began to walk away and practically stomp his way up the stairs. Severus shook his head and decided that he would tell the man that he had heard him in the tub all of those days ago but that would be for later.

"Gaara, you will be sleeping tonight with a different potion this time—it will put you in a meditation type slumber until I teach you how to meditate on your own. TenTen, you may borrow a pair of Haku's pajamas and sleep in their bed tonight," Severus said to the little girl. TenTen nodded and dashed off to the boys' room with Haku. One would be starting the bath while the other would pick out the pajamas. Severus sighed as he prepared to be in the bed with three little boys that had such a fright.

(**)

"Um, Severus-kun, may I ask you something?" Shizune inquired. Severus turned from his position of tucking the unconscious Gaara into his bed and separating Haku and Naruto so they couldn't kick at each other any longer.

TenTen was sitting on the bed with her large brown eyes looking around the picture covered room, waiting for Severus to assist her with her soaking wet but clean hair. The last thing he needed was to take care of a sick spy child or send her on her way to her boss and they not very much care for her.

"Proceed," Severus nodded, grabbing a towel and drying the brunette's long hair. It was longer and thicker than Haku's—wavy when wet as it was. He was slowly leading her to the boys' empty room and looking at Shizune at the same time.

"Well, you have two daughters and two sons but none of them look like you. Also why is it that only one girl gets to sleep with you while the other is placed in another room?" Shizune asked curiously as she noted the sleeping arrangements.

Haku made sputtering noises deep in his throat for he already knew who the woman was speaking about. It wasn't fair that everyone thought him a girl. Severus held back a chuckle, feeling truly sorry for Haku but it was quite humorous.

"I have three children—all sons. I do not know what I would do with a daughter. The little girl, TenTen, is a friend of theirs. The reason as to why Naruto, Haku, and Gaara do not resemble me is because I adopted each of them during my travels."

Shizune looked down at the girl who was beaming up at her and back at Haku who was looking slightly disgruntled.

"Oh, I am so sorry child, you look like a girl with that pretty hair," Shizune apologized as she bent down to TenTen. Naruto immediately burst into peals of laughter, rolling around on the large bed as if there was no tomorrow. Haku simply pouted and buried himself under the covers.

(**)

The End

That is so not nice to Haku but it's funny in my mind.


	9. Dream My Dream

Title: Dream my Dream

Rating: the usual K

Summary: Zabuza is convinced to do something he'd rather no do.

Words: 642

(**)

"Can you please do it?"

"I wanna see it too—do it!"

"Please?"

"PLEASE!?"

(**)

Severus looked up from the stew he was cooking and glanced at Shizune who looked equally curious. He turned down the heat from the stove and carefully cleaned his hands off before turning and leaving out the kitchen behind the older woman.

He came to see Zabuza standing in the middle of the room with the boys and TenTen standing around him, pulling on his arms while Tsunade was draped across his couch, face twisted with smugness as she too beg Zabuza to do something.

"What are you doing?" Sever inquired. Tsunade turned around and her eyes lit up, the children soon catching onto something that Severus and Shizune did not understand. They rushed over to the two dark haired people and latched onto them, Tsunade literally mimicking the children.

"Zabuza was telling us about how he went to this show one time," Naruto started.

"It wasn't a show—it was a street performer, he walked by it," TenTen corrected.

"Yeah and they were doing this song with clone jutsu!" Gaara added.

"And he said it looked cool so he watched it," Haku piped up.

"He also said he never forgot the song so we want to see him do it," Tsunade finished. Severus raised a brow and glanced at Zabuza who had his face in his hand, completely embarrassed though Severus wasn't sure if he was embarrassed because he had let something like that slip or because they were asking him to reenact it. Severus supposed he should take pity on the poor man…

(**)

"I cannot believe you of all people want to see this," Zabuza growled, standing in the middle of their backyard where there was enough room for such a performance. Severus simply shrugged and sat down in the chair between Shizune and Tsunade while the children sat on a blanket in front of them. He was actually quite excited and Zabuza hadn't said no so it was the man's fault.

"Begin!" Tsunade cheered. Zabuza sighed and when he started his voice was low and he was crouched slightly.

"_It's a cruel, cruel world and all you little boys and girls," _a clone appeared on Zabuza's right, looking oddly evil as it smirked and sung along.

"_And some mean, nasty people want to have you for their SUPPER!" _Here another clone joined their duo and they advanced a little, their faces twisted in evil expressions before the real Zabuza turned and pushed the others back as if saving them all.

"_But if you follow me, you can all be FREE, FREE!" _Zabuza threw his hands around and the two clones stood up, looking a bit more friendly and started to do complicated tricks through the air. One stopped and winked.

"_You can all be free, as a bird flying in the sky!" _he shouted, "_If you dream, if you dream MY DREAM!" _

The friendly flips and expressions stopped and they all crouched low again, their voices deep and menacing as they advanced.

"_It's a cruel, cruel world full of little boys and girls," _the real Zabuza started, allowing his clones to speak at the same time.

"_And the selfish, mean nasty people—." _

"_Nasty, nasty, NASTY, NASTY!" _the clones all added, nearly cutting him off as they did their flips for each 'nasty'. Zabuza waved a finger and went back to the friendly expression.

"_You can make your day, you can laugh, and you can smile, _

_You can come and stay a while, _

_You can dream my dream, _

_You can have it all with me, _

_You can dream my dream_

_You can dream my… dream." _The clones and Zabuza all gave a bow before the two doppelgangers melted into water. They all burst into applause, nearly sounding like thunder for the spectacular performance.

(**)

The End

Yes, that was Floop's song. No I do not own it. It's from Spy Kids which I do not own (not that I would want to). Zabuza is not out of character. No one can resist a persuasive Severus with Company.

I hoped you enjoyed that silliness.


	10. Dog

Title: Dog

Rating: lower than K

Words: 82

(**)

"Can we get a dog, papa?"

"No, Gaara."

"Please?!"

"No, Haku."

"Pretty please!?"

"The physical appearance of the please does not dictate whether I want some godforsaken mutt gallivanting in my house."

"Huh?"

"I think he's saying no, Naruto."

"Oh…"

"Zabuza can we get a dog?"

"What did Severus say?"

"He said yes!"

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"Crap… he didn't believe us…"

"It's okay Naruto… hey Tsunade!"

"How's it going brats?"

"Can we get a puppy?!"

(**)

The End

Kids are some sneaky devils.


	11. Talk

Summary: Naruto has a talk with Zabuza

Rating: low T

Words: 453 (very little)

(**)

Zabuza was training and pushing his body to the limits. After what happened with Naruto, he didn't know what to do. Obviously the blond really wasn't going to speak with him, he was probably the last person Naruto wanted to speak with and even if he was willing to bite onto that particular kunai, he had no idea where to find the child. He didn't think Severus wanted to speak with him either. The man just had his first fight with one of his kids and ran off to work, if Zabuza had the right idea about the Magic User.

It had been hours since it happened, night had fallen long ago but even then, Zabuza continued to fight his clone-opponent. This was one of the moments when he wished he still had his sword. Perhaps he should admit defeat to the Magic User and beg for his sword back. Zabuza could feel his hand itching for the blade. Maybe he should consider the fact that the Magic User had actually used magic to hide it but then he'd be able to sense the sword or at least the amount of magic needed to do such a thing. Zabuza dealt a final, killing blow to his opponent and watched it collapse into a splash of water. He let out a sigh as he heard someone coming towards him. Someone small and…

"Naruto?" Zabuza could say he was shocked to see the boy walking towards him. He gazed at the blond and wondered if the boy was going to attempt to take his life now that they were alone. It was quite surprising that he had tried the first time… and that he had kissed his Severus.

"You better take care of him. I talked to papa and he said that when I'm eighteen, we'll get married. I don't want him to be lonely until then so you better take care of him or I'll get you. I'll get you and kill you," Naruto narrowed his eyes in a glare. For a brief moment, a very… very brief moment Zabuza felt something akin to fear shoot through his gut. It was ridiculous to fear a child but his brain just felt a sudden spike of fear. Naruto stared at him for several more moments before smiling brightly at him. His face completely shifted, turning bright and sunny as if he hadn't just threatened to take someone's life. He waved cheerfully and turned on his heel, practically skipping away.

"See you tomorrow Zabuza, good night!" Naruto shouted over his shoulder. Zabuza blinked for a long moment, staring at the retreating back before shaking his head. Children were so hard to understand, especially one Naruto Uzumaki.

(**)

The End

Hey, I never said Zabuza would get a word in. But see, they're all made up and stuff. Sweet family moment!


	12. Goodnight Kisses

Summary: Severus should have seen it coming.

Rating: K

Words: 573

(**)

Severus honestly should have seen it coming. He was surrounded by three little boys and no one else except for an unconscious man who was more trouble than he was worth. What was he thinking, bringing some rouge ninja in his home? Severus sighed and pulled his mind away from those particular thoughts as he looked to the three boys pushing and shouting at each other, making Severus' head throb with their shrill little voices. How had this started again?

"_Um… Sev… could I get a kiss goodnight?" Haku whispered as the man diligently tucked him in. Severus froze in his actions and raised a brow at the child. A firm little blush spread across his cheeks and sprinkled his little nose as he squirmed under Severus' scrutiny. _

"_My… parents would do it a lot," Haku elaborated. Severus sighed through his nose and closed his eyes, counting to ten before he actually brushed his lips against Haku's forehead with the least bit of pressure. It didn't seem to matter to the child that Severus' lips had hardly touched him. _

"_That's not FAIR!" Gaara's little voice came out which was echoed immediately by Naruto. _

Oh yes, that's how Severus found himself staring at all three boys 'fighting' in the most inelegant way possible. Severus sighed and reached out, grabbing Haku and Naruto by the back of their shirt, pulling them away from each other and up in the air. Gaara found himself in the same position although his sand found nothing to break. Their faces were all the classic look of surprise and their large eyes were all on him.

"You will all cease acting like…" Severus wanted to say 'children' but they actually were children. He sighed and dropped them on the bed carelessly, listening to their yelps and watching as they struggled to untangle themselves.

"Now, apologize for behaving like animals and giving me a headache," Severus demanded. The boys pouted and bowed their heads in shame.

"I'm sorry," they said together.

"Accepted. Now, what would have been the better way to sort this out?" Severus folded his arms and cursed himself for sounding like a mother. Oh how he hated children.

"Can I have a kiss goodnight too?" Naruto inquired, looking up at him through his bangs. Severus cursed the fates for tangling him up in another mother like duty. He had no doubts that the parent that kissed Haku goodnight was his mother.

"It's 'may I'," Severus corrected tersely. He already knew that he would do it no matter how it was asked only for the sole fact that it was fair.

"May Naruto and I have goodnight kisses?" Gaara rephrased. Severus figured that he couldn't talk his way out of this although he wished he could. A small bit of magic could possibly alter their memory… no, no, that was a last resort measure that he hoped that he would never have to use on anyone.

"You're not even going to sleep Gaara," Haku pointed out randomly.

"I'll take his kiss!" Naruto offered, raising his hand and waving it wildly like an overzealous student. It nearly knocked Gaara in the eye but a handful of sand blocked the elbow. The redhead turned on Naruto, glaring at the older boy as if he had just threatened to bite his teddy bear.

"No it don't matter if I'm not sleeping—it's my nighty kiss!" Gaara shouted.

Thus the fighting began anew.

(**)

The End

A Goodnight kiss has never been so awesome. I'm an only child by the way so I have no idea what siblings become jealous over the other about but I figured this was passing.


	13. Cold Outside but we're in Suna

I know it's not Christmas but, like Glee, I couldn't resist. I recently discovered a song called 'Baby Its Cold Outside' and let me tell you—it is the cutest 'give me sex' song I have ever heard.

Warning: Kinda spoilers for the next chapter in Perfect Scenario but you guys are smart! Tsunade X Katsuya (is he considered an OC?). Adult language… hinted sex (can technically go either way—friendship and all…). There's no singing

ENJOY!

(**)

Katsuya didn't know when the last time he put his kids to bed was—it might have actually been since his wife was around that he had done it but, after almost losing them, he was much more willing to give the little blond girl and little brunette boy a kiss and wrapping their blankets around them. He was also very warm to the idea of telling the Leaf to fuck off when one of their delegates appeared on their doorstep not even twelve hours after the massive funeral.

Honestly, what kind of fucking nation that pretends to be allies doesn't check up on the other? He had eyes in Konoha and he didn't even like the well-off fucks but one knew to keep the enemy of his enemy very close. The enemy of Orochimaru just so happened to be the Hidden Leaf Village which meant that Konoha would soon be bosom buddies with him.

He knew that the Leaf Elders were out looking for Severus at that moment, rather disconcerted that he disappeared all of a sudden. He knew that they sent the delegate looking for the Magic User. He also knew that Orochimaru was sniffing around there but he'd let them find that one out by themselves—damn bastards. Just because they would be fr-enemies didn't mean that Katsuya would help _that_ much. And Orochimaru had better watch his back from now on. He would get revenge on that snake fuck and enjoy hearing his squeals.

"Well, now that you're all sane again and the chaos is over, I believe it's time for me to trek it where Shizune and those brats are," Tsunade's voice suddenly said very loudly behind him. Katsuya whirled around and quickly made it to the busty woman's side although he was sure to keep his eyes on her face. Shizune had laughed rather hard when healing his broken cheekbone after that punch Tsunade had given him.

"No, I insist that you stay!" he exclaimed, directing her to his study.

"I _can't_ stay," Tsunade said firmly, her brow cocking at the younger man. They both knew what he was aiming for but damn if he wouldn't try his hardest. He had to think of a good reason for her to stay…

"But baby its cold outside!" he blurted and instantly wondered if he'd been hit with the stupid stick.

"Don't call me that, I've got to go," Tsunade snapped, starting to walk away. She was completely ignoring his poor excuse and striding to his front door.

"But baby its cold outside," he insisted, sticking with his excuse and darting in front of her. He was well aware that she could send him flying with a single finger but she didn't seem to want to hit him, her brown eyes shining up at him.

"It's been a nice night," she complimented him and began to push him out of the way, her hand firm in the middle of his chest and making him move. "But we're in the middle of the desert… it can't be cold."

"I've been hoping you'd drop in since I met you in the Mist," he admitted. Tsunade paused at his words and turned around. He rushed forward and grabbed her smaller hands within his and blew on them.

"I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice," he gave a fake shiver while holding the warm digits. He watched as a small smile flitted across her face and that was complete permission to continue and he pulled her back into his home and to his study.

"TenTen will worry if I don't go back soon. She's like my damn mother," Tsunade protested as she realized that she'd been positioned away from the door. Logically she could just as easily leave through the window but it didn't matter because, deep down, she enjoyed this game and wanted to stay.

"Beautiful, what's your hurry?" Katsuya continued, searching for his finest liquor. If there was anything he knew about this particular Saanin was that she was an avid lover of such drinks. He ordered his golden sand to seat the lady.

"Shizune will be pacing the floor so I'd better go," Tsunade sighed, standing up and flicking his dust off of her shoulders and brushing it from the small of her back. Katsuya bit into his lip and felt a bit of despair enter his heart. He truly liked Tsunade and really, it was her company he wanted more so than sex although he couldn't say that he didn't hope for some action.

"Tsunade… please don't hurry off," he whispered. The blond paused at the open door and looked over her shoulder at the younger man, his shoulders slumped a bit and the glasses hanging delicately between his thick fingers. A heavy sigh left her small lips as she closed the door in front of her and turned around.

"Well maybe just a half a drink won't hurt," she conceded. Katsuya immediately bounced back to life, handing her the glasses and tossing her a very fine bottle of whiskey before dashing over to some kind of record player.

"I'll put some records on while you poor," he instructed. Tsunade shook her head and gave him a splash while pouring a lot more into her cup. It wasn't that she needed it but that he didn't. He had just gotten over a horrible sickness; liquor wasn't something that his system needed at the moment.

"You should stay here," Katsuya offered bluntly as soft music filled the study. Tsunade shook her head and pushed the glass into his hand.

"The ANBU might think—," Tsunade was cut off as Katsuya grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to the windows.

"But baby it is bad out there!" he claimed and they watched the winds howl out and drag tunnels and whirlwinds of sand around. Tsunade looked over at Katsuya and she noticed that he really was handsome with his strong jaw, beautiful slanted brown eyes and sun kissed skin.

"Really, what's in this drink?" Tsunade squinted down at her glass, sure that something was in it to make her think such things.

"No one to take you home…" Katsuya sighed, pretending to be disappointed and ignoring the outrageous question. Tsunade bit her lip, wanting to simply leave the man there but something was stopping her.

"I wish I knew how…" she exhaled as a strong hand came out and cupped her face. For once she allowed someone to maneuver her face, bringing her eyes to meet darker ones head on.

"Your eyes are beautiful," Katsuya murmured, "Like starlight and no it has nothing to do with the color."

"I wish I knew how to break this spell," Tsunade finished. A random thought in her mind proclaimed that everything was Severus' fault and she should punch him tomorrow if she managed to remember and then to get past Gaara's defense.

"I'll take your jacket… uh… you're outfit looks fine…?" Katsuya fumbled as he thought of a reason to take away the thin protection. She raised a brow as she allowed the cloth to be removed.

"I ought to say no, no, no," she reminded him, taking a seat on the long couch and feeling more than seeing as Katsuya sat next to her, moving extremely close.

"Mind if I move a little closer?"

"At least I'm gonna say that I tried," Tsunade winked saucily.

"Don't want to hurt my pride and all," Katsuya nodded. Tsunade found herself biting her lip again and her mind flash to Dan. God, what was she doing!?

"I really can't stay," Tsunade blurted out, jumping to her feet and starting to go away. Katsuya followed after her.

"Tsunade don't go!" Katsuya shouted after her. Tsunade stopped, her heart pounding beneath her sternum. She needed to stop running from everyone, Dan would want her to be happy… right? He always insisted that she did so, telling her that he would always want her happy.

"Would you Dan… would you want me to do this?" Tsunade whispered, her emotions conflicting against one another. She felt Katsuya stop directly behind her, his warmth seeping into her skin and the smell of sand and jasmine filling her nose.

"But baby it is cold outside!" he continued with his very lame line.

"I must go," she insisted, willing herself to continue forward, to grab the door handle and leave the house. She could start traveling with Shizune once more, drinking her evening and days until they blur together within her mind viciously.

"Tsunade, it's too cold outside!" he insisted.

"Whatever you think you're getting… the answer is no. I'm leaving," she said firmly. Katsuya placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned close, his forehead pressing into the back of her head.

"It's really… _really_ cold outside," he said desperately.

"This welcome has been very warm and all," she sighed.

"How lucky that you dropped in when you did! Look out that window at that storm!" he exclaimed, pointing at the average sandstorm that she could very well walk outside and across the way in. Tsunade looked and was completely shocked when a pair of lips landed on hers and pulled away quickly.

"Zabuza will be suspicious," she said numbly, her mind whirling around faster than the sand spinning. She knew that the missing nin probably wouldn't be too worried for her, not when he was screwing the brains out of the exhausted Magic User.

"Wow, your lips are _delicious_," he winked, dodging at the halfhearted punch she aimed at him.

"Snape's tongue is absolutely vicious. Haku will be there at the door," she protested. Actually all of the children would be very curious about her and possibly wait up until Severus manhandled them into their beds.

"This looks like a tropical storm… with sand!" Katsuya said in a fake shocked voice. Tsunade shook her head at his stupidity.

"Maybe just a cigarette more… and nothing more!" Tsunade shook a finger at him, feeling her age and witness a war between her and Katsuya. She wanted the Kazekage to convince her to stay there, to be with him.

"I've never seen a blizzard like this before!"

"It's sand, Katsuya…"

"Exactly, a sand blizzard has to be worse!"

"I've got to go to Shizune and company."

"But you'd freeze out there!"

"Then why don't you lend me a coat, lover boy?"

"… Um… because it's up to your knees. A coat won't help you at all."

"You are a fool, Kazekage," Tsunade shook her head with a small smirk, placing her hand on his.

"I'm thrilled when you touch my hand," he said as he pressed his burning lips into the skin of her palm.

"But don't you see—?" she started, pulling away from him once again.

"Oh, how can you do this thing to me?" the Fourth Kazekage pouted, folding his arms.

"There's bound to be talk tomorrow, if I stay and with both of our records, a lot of implied," Tsunade finished.

"Think of my life long sorrow if you catch… what do people catch when it's cold?" Katsuya tilted his head.

"Frostbite? Hypothermia? Pneumonia?" she guessed.

"Yes, think of my sorrow if you caught pneumonia and died, leaving here and walking all that way in the freezing cold!"

"I really can't… can't…" Tsunade stopped as a finger landed on her lips only to be replaced with slightly dry, strong lips that had been there moments ago. She pulled Katsuya close, molding her body into his.

"Oh… I can't go because… because it's cold outside," she finally agreed as she pulled away.

(**)

The End

A rollercoaster. They deserved some cute love too!


	14. Insanity

Insanity

Rating: M (HUGE M)

Summary: Are you INSANE!?

Warning: blatant slash, profanity, and hints of blowjobs… sorry

(**)

Zabuza used all of his ninja training to stop his hips from thrusting up into the warm mouth that worked over his cock like a professional. He had to remind himself to ask Severus where he learned such skills with his tongue. Of course that thought was thrown far away from his mind as his orgasm slammed into him while his air left his lungs.

"You…" he panted.

"I am amazing," Severus interjected, a smirk pasted on his lips as he licked up the sticky mess that Zabuza graciously left and then began to make his way up the tall, muscled body until he was pressing his lips until the parted lips of his new lover.

"You are too cocky," Zabuza murmured under the slightly dry lips before flipping their position and looking down at the man. Severus simply raised a brow and allowed the agile fingers to pull off his shirt and pants to reveal a lack of underwear. However, as the man began to dip his head towards his crotch Zabuza found a slim foot kicking him in the jaw and off the bed. Zabuza landed on his bottom and looked up at the Magic User in surprise, mouth half open and confusion slamming into him. Severus had scrambled back on the bed, hand bringing up a blanket to cover his lower half.

"Are you bloody _insane_?" Severus hissed, eyebrows climbing distances on his forehead.

"What? I was going to return the damn favor," Zabuza explained angrily, standing up and placing his fists on his hips, not looking too indignant in his naked glory. He was rightly confused as to what person didn't want oral sex.

"Did you happen to forget what the HELL is in your mouth!? _Daggers_, my good man, daggers that will _sever_ my phallus with a single twitch of your jaw," Severus retorted in that voice that told Zabuza that he was an idiot, folding his arms over his thin chest. Zabuza raised a hand to his mouth and felt his teeth, knowing that they were quite sharp and could very well do some damage if used in such a way. Severus snorted and shook his head.

"Until you can prove that you will not neuter me with those teeth, you shall continue to solely pound me into the bed. Now get in this bed," Severus ordered. If Zabuza wasn't sure that he would be sleeping in his own bed, he might have ignored the man and simply went to sleep but he knew Severus too well at this point so he simply climbed aboard.

(**)

The End

Okay, yes, that was a bit saucy and random but I was thinking about blowjobs (don't ask me why) and then I realized that Zabuza has some dangerous weapons in his mouth!


	15. Stealth Part 2

Title: Stealth Part 2

Rating: K

Words: 406

Summary: The boys are given another lesson in stealth

Author Note: You guys thought I forgot didn't you!?

(**)

"Zabuza… I don't think this is a good idea." Haku whispered as he looked at the crouching man.

"Trust me, brat, I know what I am doing. I have already informed each of you that I am the Demon of the Mist—one of the Seven Swordsman. I am more than up for the task of sneak a cookie," Zabuza rolled his eyes. Honestly, what kind of ninja would he be if he couldn't steak something from under the nose of a Magic User?

"But that's papa, he'll know—no amount of stealth will help you," Gaara argued. Yes, they were having another lesson in stealth. The boys needed to learn how to be sneaky and this was their first demonstration. Zabuza had decided that he'd take something while Severus was still in the room—the man was cooking and had set a batch of cookies on the main table as if daring someone to steal one. Of course Zabuza stepped up to the challenge and had told the children of what they would be doing.

"He isn't a shinobi and that's the advantage that we have over him. Now… watch the master work."

(**)

Severus hummed a slow tune under his breath as he cooked their dinner—it would need at least two hours and the boys had a snack on the table when it cooled off. Severus paused and frowned as he realized that he had turned into a damn mother. He cursed mentally before sighing aloud as he felt more than heard someone with sneaking intent.

"If you touch those cookies, you will wish that I didn't have a knife in my hand, Mr. Momochi," Severus drawled lazily before turning around. Of course he didn't outright see the man but he knew that he was there, blending in with the shadows and planning on stealing a cookie. He searched the bright kitchen carefully, making sure that his glare scoured the entire area. He felt the presence withdraw and he heard the taunts that his boys were throwing at the man. Severus shook his head.

He hoped they gave him a hard time... fool.

(**)

"Don't. You. Say. It." Zabuza growled at the children as he stomped away from the house and to their designated training spot. Haku, Gaara, and Naruto giggled under their breath, taking up their chosen weapons and remaining quiet but Zabuza could hear their words being spoken under their breaths and within their minds.

"We told you so!"

(**)

The End

Okay, the second Stealth Lesson just didn't work out… phooey.


	16. Mean Part I

Title: So Mean Part I

Words: 472

Summary: Zabuza faints

(**)

"What…?" Zabuza was sure that his brain was not computing. Had he hit his head before coming into the room and ravaging his partner? Had he fallen asleep after sex and now he was having some very odd dream? No, it couldn't be a dream because his subconscious had nothing to do with what this black eyed man had just said to him. That and they hadn't had sex because Severus wanted to sit him down in the kitchen and talk to him.

"I said that I am pregnant," Severus stated once more, laying a hand on his flat stomach. Zabuza stared at that long fingered hand, flitting across his black covered stomach like pale spider legs. They were stained on the tips from the potions that Severus constantly brewed in the basement. He blinked several times and stared at the Magic User until he realized that the man was simply staring back at him.

"What…?" the shinobi said once more. He stood up and felt the cool wood beneath his feet and he began to pace the floor.

"Wizards have a special time of the month, much like a woman, in which case we are instantly impregnated. The date must have slipped my notice although I am sure that I told you about this phenomenon," Severus explained as if he were teaching him about a very boring potion that turned hair colors.

"I think I would REMEMBER if you told me that you could get PREGNANT!" Zabuza hissed, narrowing his eyes at the wizard. Severus simply tilted his head, completely unthreatened by the very dangerous shinobi.

"There is no need to become so hostile. Would you like to see?" Severus pressed his hand a little harder on his belly and Zabuza watched as a grey film appeared, inside was a small jellybean shaped thing surrounded by what looked like some fluid and a pouch. A womb… Severus had a womb… with a baby in it. Not just any baby… his baby.

"Oh my," Shizune gasped as she came in the kitchen just in time to see Zabuza hit the ground in a dead faint. She rushed to the man but stopped as she realized that Severus was practically howling in laughter. It wasn't a very nice sound in the sense that she knew that the man had done something foul to Zabuza but it was soon joined by little voices. She turned around and saw that they were standing in the entrance way.

"Sev is just so mean," TenTen said as an explanation, giggling into her hand.

"He played a prank on Zabuza-sama… apparently wizards can get pregnant," Haku added dryly to add on what his brown haired friend said. Shizune shook her head and set about making sure that the ninja was alright. Really, they were so damn silly in this house.


	17. Stealth Part III

Title: Stealth Part III

Words: 406

Summary: Let's try this again

(**)

"So, you want us to steal from the market?"

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Why not, we're just learning to be ninja!"

"Naruto… you think everything is a good idea."

"I DO NOT! I'm just sayin' that it's the best place for us to learn how to be all stealthy and stuff like real shinobi be! We can't use papa because he's too hard and just too sneaky!"

"But stealing is wrong…"

"I'm not going to point out the irony in that."

"What do you mean Zabuza?"

"Nothing, now prepare to go to the market."

"I'm with Gaara… papa will get very mad if we steal from the market."

"What your papa doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Papa will know."

"Papa always knows."

"Even I gotta say that papa is gonna know."

"He's will not now let's go."

(**)

Zabuza was not sure if he should be fuming that he had gotten chewed out by a Magic User or that said Magic User had somehow trapped him in a corner like some wayward child being punished. The shinobi growled and swore that the other man wouldn't be sitting down for a week after this.

"I told you papa would know," Gaara whispered from his corner, nose planted firmly. He had actually done quite well even though he had used his sand to blind his target at first however, to well-trained shinobi, it would be too obvious.

"He always knows," Haku murmured sadly, placing his head on the conjoined walls. Haku hadn't done too bad considering that he had been rather nervous.

"But we till learned to be stealthy—we're gonna be awesome shinobi, believe it!" Naruto cheered from his corner although he didn't dare leave it lest he be punished more. Zabuza was shocked to say that Naruto did the best. Somehow the blond who was as obvious as the sun had gotten the most items. Zabuza was brought out of his musings by a silky purr.

"As 'awesome shinobi' you will learn that being caught by the enemy is a very bad thing that you do. Not. Want." Zabuza turned his head to see Severus leaning against the door jam, a smirk on his lips as he observed his sons and lover. Onyx eyes glittered at him in obvious smugness and it was all he could do to not stride over to the man and kiss him breathless.

"Now… as for your punishment…"

(**)

The End

This whole stealth thing just isn't working out. Just in case no one caught it, the whole mpreg thing was a prank set up by Severus… no mpreg in this story. I'll try it on something different story.


	18. Distraction I

Title: Distraction I

Words: 640

Summary: Remember back in Chapter 27 when Tayuya had the 'perfect' idea… what was that idea? Here's one way it could have gone.

(**)

"This is your perfect idea?" Haku hissed at Tayuya as she led him by the arm to the kitchen. The girl nodded brightly with a dark smile on her face and then looked back at the basement where the rest of the kids were standing.

"Yeah, it'll work fine."

"It's not even an idea. You're just gonna—AH!" Haku let out a yelp as he was pushed roughly into the kitchen and directly into the shinobi they were trying to avoid. It was easy avoiding Tsunade because the woman was at work already but Zabuza… now he was an obstacle that no one wanted to really face. But here Haku was, leaning against the man's legs with his face pressed firmly into the hard, toned stomach.

"Um… ah, hey Zabuza-sensei!" Haku smiled brightly. The man raised a brow down at him, ingredients to making a sandwich within his grasp. The shinobi reached down and steadied Haku before turning to the counter to make his sandwich. Haku stood there nervously before glancing behind him and straightening his shoulders. He had to do this!

"So I was wondering something, Zabuza-sensei," Haku said casually, leaping up on the counter by the silent man. Dark eyes glanced at him, curiosity shining within the depths.

"Well, you know how we all call Sev-chan papa because he adopted us so he's our papa?" Haku chattered out his curiosity with something that had actually been bothering him. He resisted the urge to glance around to see the progress of his brothers and the girls.

"Yes…?" Zabuza prompted.

"Well, you know how you and papa are together now?" Haku continued.

"Yes…?" the Demon of the Mist looked like he didn't appreciate the way he thought this was going. Haku had a feeling that Zabuza expected the 'where did babies come from' but Haku already knew that.

"I was wondering. If Sev-chan is our papa and you're papa's boyfriend, does that mean we get to call you mama?"

"Excuse me?" Zabuza glared at him as if he had told him that he was a horrible shinobi that couldn't kill a novice with a stick.

"Well, papa is papa and a papa is with a mama but because papa is papa, you can't be papa. So, you're mama!" Haku grinned, rather proud of amazing logic. Zabuza stared at him for several seconds, squinting at him before reaching out and flicking him hard on the nose. "Ow, what was that for?!"

"You are real," Zabuza grunted and went back to making his sandwich.

"Wait, so when can we start calling you mama? Does papa have to put a ring on your finger first and then we call you mama or…?" Haku tilted his head, rubbing at his sore nose. The man hadn't thought he was a clone. He just wanted to hit him.

"What is today?"

"Tuesday, I think."

"If today is Tuesday… let's see… two days from now… never. You can never call me mama and I am not above ridding Severus of a child if that is what it takes to rid you of such a stupid suggestion," Zabuza growled, glaring hot fire into the young boy. Haku swallowed hard before smiling brightly.

"Thanks for that talk Zabuza-sensei. I'm gonna tell Naruto and Gaara to not call you that—bye!" he darted out of the kitchen and up the stairs in a blur of green and brown. Haku pounded into the bathroom but stopped short to stare at the image of Kimimaro being pulled back and forth between the redhead and blond, trying to clean the dirty boy up while said boy simply allowed it to happen, smiling softly.

"You guys owe me," Haku pouted and took off his clothes for a bath too.

(**)

The End


End file.

Harry Potter, Naruto, Family