Naruto It's not what you're thinking, Sasuke

A/N: this is a writing prompt i was given by a friend. i was asked to write a story in which Sasuke misinterprets something and jumps to the worst possible conclusion, this is the result. i hope you like it, please review and tell me what you think! Also if anyone has a sasusaku related prompt or story suggestion, i'll gladly write it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

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I flash stepped to my front door from the gates of Konoha, eager to get home and rest… after I make passionate love to my wife of course.

I reached for the handle when I sensed an annoyingly too familiar presence inside. Naruto was over… yet again. That damn idiot had his own wife and two kids so why the hell was always over here pestering my wife and daughter? Damn usuratonkachi.

I felt my jaw tighten as I opened the front door and entered my home.

"Ah! Sakura-chan… not so rough…" Naruto's voice drifted down the long hallway.

"It won't fit otherwise…" Sakura groaned.

The hell? That sounds like it's coming from the bedroom… but, no way Sakura would…

A sickly feeling started forming in the pit of my stomach as unimaginable thoughts started racing through my mind.

"It's so tight… how does teme fit?" Naruto gasped breathlessly.

"Ah… he's not… mmm… as big as you… uh, Naruto…" Sakura groaned.

I froze at her words as my hands clenched involuntarily, turning my knuckles white as I started to feel my jaw tighten in anger.

Forgive me if 8inches isn't enough for you… but I don't recall you complaining about it last time…

"Mama… maybe I can help?" Sarada questioned.

"No, I can manage… he's going to fit, I just need to stretch it a bit more…" Sakura gasped.

Sarada's in there too?! What the fuck Sakura! Its bad enough you're cheating on me… with usuratonkachi of all people, but our daughter is witnessing it?! How sick can you get?!

I started moving faster towards the bedroom as their voices got louder the closer I got. With every step I took my anger increased tenfold along with the sickly feeling, my mouth was dry and I started having flashbacks to the last time I experienced a similar feeling… the last time I lost my family…

"Sakura-chan… I can't… ahn…" Naruto groaned.

"Almost… I'm almost there…" Sakura moaned.

That fucking bitch. How could she do this to me?! And dobe too… the two people I accepted into my life, the two people I allowed to get close to, that I considered family were… this betrayal won't be forgiven. I should have known that forming bonds again would only weaken my resolve… I never should have come back to this place… never should have trusted either of them! As soon as the traitors are dead, I'm taking Sarada and getting as far away from here as possible. Never again.

"Sakura-chan… it hurts, it's too tight…"

"Just bear with it for a few more seconds, Naruto… I'm almost done…"

"Does this help mama?" Sarada asked.

"Oh yes, baby… keep that up…" Sakura gasped.

"I-I can't… for much longer…" Sarada moaned.

"Sakura-chan…" Naruto growled.

I kicked open the bedroom door in a blind fury, startling the three people on the other side as the door broke from its hinges and crashed into the far wall, soaring clear over their heads.

"Uh…" they all stared at me pale faced, shocked speechless.

Naruto was standing up wearing a pair of my pants from my jounin days with Sakura sitting on the bed in front of him and Sarada holding him from behind.

"…Papa! You're home!" Sarada called out cheerfully, moving away from usuratonkachi and hugging my leg tightly.

Seeing my daughter's smiling face and that she was safe eased my anger a bit, but I was still infuriated and struggling to calm my nerves, confused by the scene before me because it wasn't anything like what I had been imagining…

"Okaeri, Sasuke-kun…" Sakura mumbled, looking at me in a confused startled shock.

"Teme… what the hell?" Naruto asked fearfully as I continued to glare venomously at him and my wife.

"What the hell's going on in here?" I growled, unable to keep the bite from my voice.

"Oh, Naruto ripped his pants during our sparring match earlier and since he's the Hokage, it'd look bad if he walked home in his boxers so I offered to give him an old pair of your pants to wear home. I didn't think you'd mind since you never wear these anymore anyway." Sakura explained, regarding me curiously.

"But uncle Naruto is too fat and they won't button up, so we were trying to help." Sarada said frowning.

"If you would just suck in this massive gut, I'd be able to do it." Sakura snapped, looking up at Naruto.

"But I can't suck in anymore! Don't you have sweat pants or something, teme? And it's not that I'm too fat, it's just that I'm not a skinny twig like teme who only eats tomatoes!" Naruto complained.

"Try now, mama." Sarada said, moving behind Naruto again and wrapping her arms around his waist, helping to squeeze his gut up and away like she had before.

"Uh… no more ramen." Sakura complained, as she struggled to fasten the dobe's pants once more.

I stared at the three of them in an odd sort of daze as my anger subsided completely. I had expected to find some unimaginable horror but… instead, I'm left with something that's actually, sadly normal considering its Sakura and the dobe… it's not like this was the first time he ripped his pants during a sparring match against someone and needed to borrow my clothes that never fit him properly…

With my anger gone, it was gradually replaced by a feeling of shame for my intense overreaction… I should have known that Sakura would never cheat on me… especially with Naruto of all people… but when I heard their conversation, my mind snapped and I couldn't help but think I'd lost my family a second time… no, I let my emotions get the best of me in a manner unlike my usual stoic self, it's humiliating really… I know better than to overreact like this… even the dobe could tell me that Sakura would die before she would ever hurt me, and he's an imbecile…

"Here." I said moving Sakura out of the way. "Dobe, don't breathe."

Before Naruto could respond, I grabbed the sides of the pants and pulled them together forcibly, quickly buttoning them up. Sarada let go of him and the three of us stared at him as he breathed in again.

"Alright! We got it." Naruto smiled.

Just then the button snapped off and bounced off the wall a few times before Sarada reached out and caught it with the grace, poise, and reflexes of an Uchiha prodigy.

"Uh… so about those sweat pants, teme…" Naruto mumbled frowning.

"I'll go call Auntie Hinata and tell her to bring some pants over." Sarada sighed shaking her head and exiting the bedroom.

"…Sasuke-kun." Sakura said glancing at me as Naruto followed her out.

"Hn?"

"Want to explain to me why you broke down our bedroom door?" Sakura asked putting a hand on her hip as she stared at me.

I bit my lip and looked away from her.

"Sasuke-kun." Sakura repeated, moving to stand in front of me.

"I'll fix it tomorrow." I said looking anywhere but at her.

"That doesn't answer my question, Sasuke-kun. You barged in here looking like you were about to kill somebody. I think you owe me an explanation." Sakura stated firmly.

"Hn."

"…Sasuke-kun… you didn't by any chance… think that I was cheating on you, did you?" Sakura asked curiously.

I felt my face flush slightly as she hit it on the mark. I tilted my head away and continued to avoid looking at her.

"Sasuke-kun…" she pouted. "You trust me, right? You know I would never even consider doing something like that to you…"

I didn't respond, just continued to avoid looking at her. She frowned and wrapped her slender arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest and catching me slightly off-guard. I sighed heavily and wrapped my arms around her in return, holding her tightly against me as relief washed over me.

For a moment back there, I really did think I'd lost her… and it hurt. It hurt a lot worse than I would have imagined it to… I don't want that sickly feeling again… I don't want to ever consider losing her… she means far too much to me… all three of them do… they've given me a family again and I'd do everything I could to never lose them…

"I would never do anything to hurt you… because, I love you Sasuke-kun, only you… and I'll always only love you. You know that, right?" Sakura asked.

"Aa." I responded, leaning down just a bit so I could bury my nose in her hair.

Yes… Sakura Haruno-Uchiha would never do anything to hurt me… it was a fact I knew very well, but it was also something I apparently needed to be reminded of… she understands me so well, instead of scolding me and lecturing me for not trusting her like she should be doing, she's reassuring me because she knows it's what I need from her… what did I ever do to deserve such an incredible girl, Nii-san?


End file.

Naruto, Humor