Hunger Games 1. Chapter 1

Katniss groaned as Johanna entered the elevator. "Not again," she whispered under her breath.

"Good morning brainless," said Johanna.

Katniss rolled her eyes as Johanna's clothes dropped to the floor. "Wow, it's not like you've done that before." Katniss had thought she could avoid Johanna's daily flashings if she had just got up earlier, but it was to no avail. It was almost as if Johanna was just waiting around to ambush her and strip naked.

"Hey, you know how you seen me naked a few times?" said Johanna.

"A few times?" said Katniss. "This is the eighth time you've flashed me."

"Anyways," said Johanna. "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" said Katniss. "About what?"

"About how I look," said Johanna. "Without my clothes on that is."

"Well," said Katniss. "You look good."

"How good?" said Johanna.

"Really good," said Katniss. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"Maybe," said Johanna. "Anything specific?"

"I don't know," said Katniss. "You've got a great ass, I guess."

"What do you mean 'I guess'?" Johanna began checking herself out in the elevator mirror. "Does it not look that good?"

"No," said Katniss. "It's just I don't spend my time looking at naked people, so I don't really have anything to compare it to."

"But you still think it looks good?" said Johanna.

"Yeah," said Katniss.

"So if you wanted to, would you be all over me?" said Johanna.

"Okay," said Katniss. "This is getting a little weird."

"It's a simple question," said Johanna.

"Fine," said Katniss. "Guys probably love your ass. They would be on top of you if you wanted."

"No," said Johanna. "I want to know what you would do."

"If I were a guy I would have trouble tearing my eyes away from you," said Katniss. "But I'm not a guy."

"You don't have to be a guy," said Johanna. "You know what I mean?"

"Not really," said Katniss. Just then the Elevator stopped. "Look, this was an interesting talk and all, but I've got to get to training. Bye."

* * *

Katniss was sore after all that training. She wanted to take a shower, but was too tired to make it back to her room, so instead she settled for one of the showers in the training centers. Big mistake.

"Hey brainless." Johanna jumped out of one of the showers. "I was just thinking of you."

"Really?" said Katniss.

"Yeah," said Johanna. "I took a long shower, so I had a lot of time to think."

"Huh," said Katniss. "Well, I guess that means you should be all pruney now."

Johanna frowned. "So are you going to take a shower?"

"That's why I'm in the showers," said Katniss.

"Do you mind if I watch?" said Johanna.

"Excuse me?" said Katniss.

"I mean, do you mind if I join you?" said Johanna.

"Again, excuse me?" said Katniss.

"I mean...look my back's kind of sore," said Johanna. "I need someone to rub some oil on my back."

"And you want me to be the one to do it, right?" said Katniss.

"If you don't mind?" said Johanna.

"Alright." Katniss poured some oil on Johanna and began rubbing her down, starting with her shoulders.

"Ow," said Johanna.

"Was I too rough?" said Katniss.

"A little," said Johanna.

"You'll get over it," said Katniss. She worked her way down the Johanna's armpits.

"You know, you never told me what you think of my tits," said Johanna.

"Okay, can we not make this awkward?" said Katniss.

"I'm just making conversation," said Johanna. "Plus, you're right there. You could just move your hands a few inches and feel for yourself."

"I'm fine, thank you," said Katniss.

"Okay," said Johanna. "Just to let you know, right now my nipples are hard."

Katniss moved her hands as far away as possible from Johanna's breasts. Before she knew what happened, her hands were touching Johanna's ass. "Crap."

"I didn't take you for an ass girl," said Johanna. "You know, after what happened in the elevator."

"Look, I think I've rubbed enough oil on your back," said Katniss. "Can I take my shower now?"

"Sure," said Johanna. "Just so you know, I really enjoyed your rub down."

"Thanks," said Katniss.

"If you want, I can rub you down," said Johanna.

"No, I'm good," said Katniss.

"Are you sure?" said Johanna. "You look tired and I would love to rub oil all over you."

"I'm good," said Katniss. "I'm taking a shower now."

"Fine," said Johanna. "You don't know what you're missing."

* * *

When Katniss got to her room, she headed straight to her bed. She had had a long day and wanted to sleep. Katniss turned on the lights and saw that Johanna was laying on her bed, completely naked. She was surrounding with a ring of rose petals. "Good evening brainless."

"Okay," said Katniss. "This is actually kind of funny."

"What?" said Johanna.

"Yeah, you really took it up a notch this time," said Katniss. "The rose petals are a nice touch."

"Thanks," said Johanna.

"You know, you need to do more stuff like this," said Katniss. "Not the same old trick where you go around and try to flash me."

"So, how do you want to do this?" said Johanna.

"Do what?" said Katniss.

"You know," said Johanna.

"I'm sorry, I don't," said Katniss.

Johanna sighed. "Okay, are you really that brainless? Do you really not get what I'm trying to tell?"

"No, I understand," said Katniss. "It's because you think I'm the latest victor."

"Sort of," said Johanna. "It's just, you seem so pure and innocent."

"I get it," said Katniss. "You all like to mess with the fresh meat."

"That's not what I'm trying to do," said Johanna.

"Really?" said Katniss. "So what was with all those times you stripped naked in front of me? Did you just want me to have a good look at your tits?"

"Yes," said Johanna.

"Wait, what?" said Katniss.

"But I see you're not interested," said Johanna.

"Why would I be interested in your tits?" said Katniss.

"I think we're having two different conversation," said Johanna. "I'll see myself out."

"I'm a bit confused," said Katniss.

"Don't worry, I don't expect you to understand," said Johanna. She proceeded to with out of the room, though with as much exaggerated hip movement as possible. Right before she left, Johanna turned around. "So what's the deal with my ass? Do you like it or not?"

"For the last time," said Katniss. "It's incredible!"

"Thanks," said Johanna.


	2. Deleted Scenes

**A/N: This was a scene I wanted to include in the original story, but decided not to. Should I have included it?**

When Katniss woke, she was sore from last night's training session. She didn't think she had the energy to even get out of bed, but she had to. Her stomach growled, begging for food. Katniss decided to satisfy its request and rolled out from under the covers. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and made for the door. Just then she smelled something that she thought was eggs waft through the door. Katniss opened her door to see Johanna standing outside, carrying a plate of breakfast and completely naked.

"Morning brainless." Johanna smiled. "I got you breakfast."

Katniss groaned. "Okay Johanna-"

"Call me Jo," said Johanna.

"Okay Jo," said Katniss. "This stripping down naked thing is getting real old."

"Not from my perspective." Johanna handed Katniss the plate. "Now eat your breakfast."

"Fine!" Katniss reluctantly grabbed the plate, spilling some of the eggs on the floor.

"I'll get that." Johanna scooped the eggs off the floor.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Okay, what is this about?"

Johanna looked up from the floor. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," said Katniss. "What's wrong with the eggs? Are they poisoned? Is there glass in them? Did you spike them with a tranquilizer?"

"Is that the thanks I get for getting you breakfast and bringing it to your room?" said Johanna. "Is this how people in District Twelve repay kindness?"

"No, sorry." Katniss started shoveling eggs into her mouth. "Thanks for the breakfast."

"You're welcome," said Johanna. "And you're right."

"Right about what?" said Katniss through a mouthful of eggs.

"I might have mixed a mild sedative into the batch when I was making your eggs," said Johanna. "And by might, I mean I definitely did."

"What!" said Katniss.

"I'm just kidding," said Johanna. "So, how are you liking the eggs?"

Katniss was not able to respond, as she was laying passed out on the floor.


	3. Alternate Ending

**A/N: This was the ending I originally had in mind, but I decided on something else instead.**

By the time Katniss got to her apartment, her head was spinning. Tomorrow the Quarter Quell would begin. She had spent all her time training and preparing, but she knew that at the end of the day all that would fly out the window, and there was no guarantee that she could protect Peeta. Katniss was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she almost didn't notice that the door to her room was ajar. Katniss quickly looked around the room and reached for a sharp looking table decoration. She slowly edged the door open and, when it was wide enough, she leaped inside. Katniss raised the table direction over her head, ready to throw it. She looked at the mystery intruder who was sitting on her bed, only to see it was Johanna Mason. "Evening Brainless."

"Johanna!" said Katniss. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to talk," said Johanna.

Katniss raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes," said Johanna. "But I see you're not the kind to get all touchy-feely with. I guess I'll just leave."

"Don't leave," said Katniss. "What do you want to talk about?"

"It's about tomorrow," said Johanna.

Katniss lowered her head, not wanting to make eye-contact. "I see."

"I know that this could very well be my last night," said Johanna. "If that's the case, I need to tell you something."

"What's that?" said Katniss. "I'm listening."

"I'm not good with expressing myself." Johanna got up and paced around. "In the time we've been together, I think we've grown close. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Well...we've gotten closer," said Katniss.

"Right," said Johanna. "And...I think we can be honest with each other. Do you agree?"

"Yeah sure," said Katniss. "Just spit it out."

"Okay," said Johanna. "I think I have feelings for you. Scratch that. I know I have feelings for you."

Katniss stood there silently for a moment and then sighed. "I understand. I think I have feelings for you too."

"You do?" said Johanna.

"And not just as friends," said Katniss.

"I should have realized it sooner," said Johanna.

"Yeah," said Katniss. "I mean, we've both lived through the same atrocities, something that most people can't understand. It's only natural that we'd have a connection."

"You don't know how this makes me feel." In what can only be described as record time, Johanna stripped out of her clothes, tossing them aside. "Let's do this."

"Seriously!" said Katniss. "Is that why you're here?"

"What do you mean?" said Johanna. "I thought we had an understanding."

"We did," said Katniss. "But then you had to ruin it with your stupid game."

Johanna looked confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't, do you?" Katniss rolled her eyes. "You're telling me you have no idea what I'm talking about?"

"No," said Johanna.

"Ha." said Katniss. "So you somehow have no clue that for all the time we've known each other, you keep finding new ways to flash me, huh?"

"You misunderstand," said Johanna. "I'm trying to-"

"You're trying to mess with me, that's what it is," said Katniss. "You're not even clever about it. It's just the same thing day in and day out. I've actually memorized the moles on your ass."

Johanna sighed. "You're right."

"Thank you," said Katniss. "At least you admit it."

"I should have been more upfront with you from the beginning, instead of hiding behind these silly games." Johanna grabbed Katniss and kissed her.

Katniss was stunned at first. Before she could say anything however, Johanna had left, leaving Katniss to ponder what had just happened. After a while, Katniss realized something. "Johanna come back! You left your clothes here!"


	4. Epilogue

**A/N:** **I was originally planning for this to be its own story, but I didn't think it had enough material on its own, so I decided to make it part of this. Do you think I should have made this its own story?**

Katniss couldn't help by smile as she watched Johanna freezing her ass off on the roof. "P...P...P...please. Can you h...hand me my clo...clothes. I forgot how cold it was up here."

Katniss picked Johanna's clothes off the ground. "These? You want me to give you these?"

"Ye...ye...yes," said Johanna. "Ju...just hand them to me."

"I don't know," said Katniss. "You're awfully far away."

"What!" said Johanna. "Yo...you're five feet away."

"I guess you're right," said Katniss. "But I just feel lazy."

"Oh come on!" said Johanna. "I'm fre...freezing."

Katniss chuckled. "And who's fault is that?"

"I just wanted to get some fresh air," said Johanna. "S...sue me."

Katniss smirked. "Hey, how did I know like to hangout here?"

"Pe...Peeta," said Johanna. "He told me y...you like to go to the r...roof some times."

"Was this while you were oiling your breasts?" said Katniss.

"O...okay!" said Johanna. "I g...get it. Can you give me my clothes now?"

"I don't know," said Katniss.

"Just toss them to me," said Johanna.

"As you wish." Katniss tossed Johanna's clothes at her.

Johanna missed and she watched as her clothes plummeted off the edge of the roof. "Nice going. Now what am I going to do."

"Well, I guess you could not try to strip naked every chance you get." Katniss turned around and went inside. "Good luck. Hope it's not too cold on the way to your apartment."


End file.

Hunger Games, Humor, Parody