One Piece Shipping Wars

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

Luffy sailed through the rough seas on a small raft. A few days ago, he dropped Coby off at the Marine Island. The boy was finally free from Alvida's grasp, so he was able to head toward his dream.

In the meantime, Luffy was heading toward his: to become the King of Pirates and find One Piece. But before he could any of that, he needed to create a crew. It would be easy if he accomplished these two goals on his own, but he wasn't a perfect person. The only thing he could do best was fight and that was it. He didn't know how to use a compass, so he didn't bother even buying one. Besides, he knew he was going to get a navigator.

"I first need a...a musician, and then a cook, and then a navigator!" Luffy announced out loud after brooding over what he needed most. He put musician as his first priority because he found out that sailing out to sea was a very lonely experience. Music could brighten up any type of day.

"If I can't find a musician, I'll find someone I can talk to."

Feeling proud to create a scheduled goal, Luffy rolled on his back and stared up at the skies, letting the raft sail on its own. Then, he recalled a time when Shanks was still on their island. He explained of his tale on how he got his crew. One of them was a skill Luffy had to obtain. Benn felt flustered and ashamed that his captain taught a kid of four such a thing.

"_To get people to join in your crew, you got to be a great kisser!"_

"_I-I need to kiss?" _

Shanks was absolute with it. He said that with this skill, even kings would beg to join.

Luffy saw a seagull fly past, and he raised his head. On the horizon, he could see a sliver of an island. His mouth curled into a bright smile. He didn't meet anyone on the Marine Island that attracted his interest, so he hoped he would be able find one there.

-.-.-

The island that Luffy was heading toward was taken over by a notorious pirate crew. They didn't really look like pirates; they looked like they were performers at a circus. They were obnoxious, selfish, and did whatever they wanted. The captain of the crew had the worst personality. On top of being selfish and obnoxious, he also destroyed homes with his favorite Buggy Ball, a destructive red canon ball.

Today, Buggy had crushed one row of homes with the canon, a dozen in all because one of the villagers told him that his nose was big. The smoke had cleared and the captain grinned at the debris of where the homes once stood. Calling him 'big nose' was unacceptable for Buggy; he even beat his crewmates if they ever told him his nose was big and red! There was one exception, however.

Buggy disconnected his head from his shoulders and turned around when he heard a loud yawn behind him. His floated toward the man and stopped when he bumped into the man's face and kissed him, scaring the man.

"Nnf! B-Buggy don't do that!" The man pushed Buggy's floating head off his face.

"You're late Roronoa Zoro!" Buggy snarled with his blackboard grating scream, "You missed the grand show!"

"Yeah yeah-Buggy, why aren't you wearing makeup?" Zoro frowned, "Now you look like that red nosed reindeer."

"I was waiting for you!" Buggy screamed, so Zoro plugged his ears, "Powder me up!"

"I'm your _bodyguard_, not your personal makeup artist."

"You're better at it than me!" Buggy shouted, so Zoro finally clamped the man's mouth shut with his hand. He didn't make a face even when Buggy was slobbering his hand with his tongue.

"...where's your makeup kit?"

"It's right here!" Buggy shouted after floating away from Zoro's grasp. He turned his face, and his nose pointed to the box on the table. Zoro wiped his wet hand on his pants and hobbled over to the table. Buggy smirked as he watched the swordsman walking with a bit of trouble.

"Having pains!?"

"You shut up." Zoro frowned as he opened the box. Sit down." Buggy's body sat down, but his head was floating around and away from the table. Zoro glared, "Can you stop fooling around?" He reached out and grabbed Buggy's nose.

"Ow ow ow!" Buggy screamed as he was dragged in front of Zoro. His nose scrunched up when Zoro let go.

"Stay still." Zoro ordered, and Buggy's head hovered. Zoro collected a tin box of makeup, a powder brush, and a thin brush and set them on the table. "You want the usual design?"

"Of course." Buggy answered with a gruff voice. Zoro picked up the powder brush and tapped it onto Buggy's face. He kept tapping until his natural skin color disappeared under the white. Then, with green pigment, he painted thin lines around Buggy's eyes. When he had finished it with the dark red rogue over Buggy's lips, Zoro stepped back and held a mirror in front of Buggy's floating head.

"Hmmm...!"

"You like it?"

"Not bad." Buggy's voice seemed to smile, "I knew I did the right thing to put you in my crew."

"Keh, it was unnecessary."

"Hum? Who was the one who was stranded in sea, almost dying of hunger?" Zoro fell silent, but narrowed his eyes, "Appreciate the fact that your life is spared."

"I would, if you take back what was mine."

"Then what are you going to do? Betray us and run?" Buggy snorted like a pig, "Like I would let you do that! You're my best bodyguard." Then, the captain's head floated toward Zoro and pulled a smug grin, "If you can defeat me, then I might reconsider. But can you?"

Zoro gritted his teeth, but didn't say a word. The captain of the Buggy crew was right; even if Zoro was considered a good swordsman, he wouldn't be able to fight him. Buggy could be cut down and can stand back up perfectly fine because he had eaten a special devil fruit. The captain chuckled darkly in glee and kissed Zoro again. This time, Zoro accepted it in a silent manner. Detached hands sneaked its way up in Zoro's shirt. The swordsman let out a tired sigh as he was taken back into the circus tent.

-.-.-

Luffy eagerly leaped off his small raft and landed on stable ground. He tripped a little since he was so used to the constant waves, but a few shakes and he got better. The island was different from the last one because there was no sight of a marine flag. That was a good sign because he was a pirate after all.

However, he noticed something different about the place. It only took him a short walk around the dock to realize how deserted and empty the atmosphere felt. He started to not like the place anymore because no people meant no food. No food meant no meat. No meat meant no strength. No strength meant he wouldn't be able to fight. That was how important people was to Luffy.

"Aw man, I really need food!" Luffy twisted his lip into a frown, when he heard a loud explosion. He turned north to see a thick cloud of smoke bursting toward the sky. His worries were gone, and he grinned in relief. Explosions didn't occur without cause. He pointed his finger toward the smoke. He needed to do this because he liked to take 'short cuts,' and he ended up getting lost.

"That way...Got it!"

Luffy lifted his foot and headed straight, but there was a house that blocked his way, so he took a left. He didn't realize until he reached the Western side of the island that he had gotten lost. Thankfully, he found a lonely ship at the dock. Feeling better that there were people on this island, he was about to walk to it when he heard voices. His animal instincts told him to hide somewhere until they leave: something wasn't right about the people. He listened to those instincts, for once, and hid behind a boulder.

He took that moment to examine the ship. It was huge, maybe fifteen times bigger than his puny raft. He saw a pirate flag with a strange big nose. Luffy chuckled at the silliness.

-.-.-

"Captain Buggy! We have news-Oh!" Moji, the animal tamer, flipped open the circus curtain flap to find his captain being awkwardly intimate with the swordsman. "C-Captain Buggy! Stick a warning sign on the curtain because I really don't want to see you showing off with your-"

"Did you just say my nose is showy!?"

"I didn't say that-!" A large, but empty treasure box come flying at him, so Moji arched his back to dodge it. It missed him by the fur, and it crashed into the curtains. Zoro sat up and fixed his shirt, and wiped the smeared rouge off his lips.

"What were you saying before you insulted me!?" Buggy snapped.

Moji took a while to answer because he was trying to get back up. "C-Captain, we found the bank!"

Buggy's large mouth formed a perfect, crescent smile. "Where is it?" The crew had been searching for this safe for the longest time.

"You see, it's locked, and it won't budge when we tried to move it-"

"You're slow!"

"I-I'm sorry!"

"Use the Buggy Ball!"

"Oh! I didn't think of that-!"

"Stupid and useless men! Do I really have to do all of the work!?" Buggy tied the belt around his waist, "Show me the way, and I'll fire the stupid bank!"

"Do you want me to look over the ship?" Zoro asked as he reached for his sword.

"Thanks Roronoa! I trust you," Buggy smiled, "because I know you'll never find what you're looking for." Zoro clicked his tongue in distaste, and the captain let out a roar of laughter. Strangely, Buggy needed all of his crew members to drag the canon to the said bank.

Zoro picked a random piece of cloth from Buggy's dresser and wiped the remaining makeup off his face. He crossed his legs as he held one black sword on his lap. It was a cheap one he could buy it at any weapon store. With his brute strength, these weaklings could only survive only a couple of battles.

His eyebrows pinched together as he was constantly reminded of his error. If he had restocked more or had taken a different route maybe this wouldn't have happened. But he had grown weak from hunger and was stranded out to sea, and the Buggy Pirate Crew found him. The captain had taken his most valuable item, so he had no choice to join his crew. He couldn't leave without it, but did this mean he had to remain with Buggy for the rest of his life? At this pace, his chance of gaining his goal was very slim.

Zoro sighed and fell face first into the bed. He closed his eyes and felt the sleep kicking in.

However, he froze when he heard a faint sound. Someone landed on the ship. He grabbed his sword and immediately removed it from its sheath. He threw it on the bed, and crept to the curtain flap of the tent.

This was no average thief because the stranger was talking to himself rather loudly.

"Wow! What a huge ship! Man, I want a ship like this too!"

The excitement and curiosity in the voice faltered Zoro a second. The tension in the air had dissipated and felt awkwardly friendly. The kid's voice-he assumed it was a kid because it was full of youth-was making him feel this way. Zoro felt a bit uncomfortable, but he kept the sword in front of him and waited until the shadow came into his attacking range.

-.-.-

Luffy stretched his arms to latch onto the ship rails. When he got a firm grip, he launched himself high up into the sky, and bounced onto the deck. He did a couple of tumbles until he lost momentum. He raised his head, and his mouth dropped in awe. The ship looked great from the outside, but it also was amazing on the inside. His blood was pumping in excitement.

"Wow! What a huge ship!" Luffy stood up and began looking around, "Man, I want a ship like this too!"

Soon, Luffy imagined, he would get himself a ship, but first he needed a crew. He only had enough money to buy a one night's rent, so buying a ship would be way down the road. But he could do it. He was going to get himself a ship as big as this, and draw his own flag-

Suddenly, he felt the air shift, and he quickly raised his arms up and flipped backwards. A sharp blade of a sword sliced precisely over where Luffy's neck was seconds before.

"Whoa!" Luffy exclaimed, relieved that he was able to dodge that or the blade would have cut either the hat or his head. He flipped around to land on his hands, and then rolled back to stand and face the attacker. Luffy swallowed, but his mouth parted open. He stood up, straightened his straw hat and fixed his eyes on the swordsman. The swordsman was older than him by a few years maybe. The man was wearing a black bandana over his head, but Luffy saw part of his hair peeking out. It was green, and that sparked his interest, if not already. The man was radiating with power and beauty. Luffy's hands were itching to get the swordsman.

"What are you doing on this ship?" The swordsman shouted, and another burst of fondness filled Luffy's heart. His voice thundered into his ears, but gave a satisfying aftertaste. He shivered in excitement.

"It looked cool."

"...You went on a pirate ship because it looked cool?"

"Yeah! Because I want to experience what it's like to have one!"

The swordsman's eyes widened slightly, "You're a pirate too?"

"Yeah! My name is Luffy, and I'm going to be the king of pirates!" Luffy grinned, "What about you?"

"R-Roronoa Zoro."

"Are you a pirate too? Because you don't look like one-"

The man turned toward the beach, "Where are your comrades?"

"I don't have any."

"What?"

"I just started being a pirate, so I'm still gathering."

"I've never heard of such a thing."

"Everyone starts off with nothing, but I'm going to get my first crew member!"

"Hou." The swordsman had lowered his sword and was tapping the blunt side on his shoulder. It was a strange sight to see two pirates talking amongst each other like a casual conversation, "Who's that?"

"You!"

"...huh?"

"You're going to be my first! Join my crew!"

"N-No way!"

"Why?"

"B-Because I have reasons to stay on this ship."

"So you want to get out of this ship? That's great! Come on! Join my crew!"

"I just said I can't!"

"Why?"

"Nnnngh, get out!" Zoro lifted his chin up and opened his mouth. Luffy froze in place when the swordsman's hand went inside the mouth and pulled out a hilt of a sword. Luffy couldn't help but shout out when an identical black sword slid out from the swordsman's mouth. Now the swordsman had two swords, and it should intimidate Luffy who was vulnerable against sharp objects. The straw hat man was just too amazed to notice.

"Wow! H-How did you do that!? That's cool!"

The swordsman's cheek reddened slightly. He was losing his guard because the kid kept pulling him into his pace.

"Can you do other tricks?"

"Kind of."

"Wow! I really really want you to join my crew now!"

"No thank you." The swordsman crossed the two swords over his chest, "I told you, I have a reason to stay on this ship."

"You didn't tell me anything, silly."

Luffy let out another 'whoa' when the swordsman ran up to him and slashed the swords in the outward direction. If he didn't dodge it in time, it would have left him a nasty scar across his chest. Luffy held his treasured straw hat as he avoided the swordsman's attacks as smoothly as water.

"Why aren't you fighting back?" The swordsman shouted, lunging out the attacks that Luffy effortlessly dodged.

"Because I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not going to join your crew!"

Luffy frowned, "You're stubborn."

"You're the stubborn one!"

"Okay, if you don't want to, I guess I'll have to persuade you to join." Luffy threw his head back, "Gomu Gomu no-"

Zoro sensed that the kid was going to use some kind of attack. A weird name for an attack, he thought. Rubber? What did 'rubber' mean? Whatever it was, the attack was quite slow. Luffy only threw his back a few inches, so it seemed like a mere headbutt. Zoro smirked and raised his sword. It was such an easy shot; all he needed to do was slice the kid's throat and it was over. Too bad that the kid needed to die, he started to like the kid.

"-kiss!"

"Wha-!" Zoro's eyes flew open in surprise when Luffy's head dodged the incoming sword and collided into Zoro's face. Their lips met in a clumsy manner, he was off by a few centimeters. Nevertheless, it was a kiss and the swordsman and the straw hat man were kissing. Luffy's hands took the opportunity to stretch and wrap around Zoro, so the man wouldn't get away. The harsh snap of Luffy's arms and how tight the squeeze was caused Zoro to drop both of his swords. It made a huge clatter when they fell to the ground.

Zoro turned to the side and made a face when he saw what became of Luffy's arms.

"Y-Your arms-!"

"Yeah! I can stretch any part of my body because I ate a devil fruit!"

"You too?"

Luffy didn't get the meaning of 'you too,' but he smiled anyways, "Yeah!"

"Let me go!" Zoro shouted, but his face was growing redder by the second. This was getting too uncomfortable. He didn't notice before, but the straw hat man was really cute; definitely his type.

"No, until you tell me that you want to join my crew!"

"I said no!"

Luffy began to pout. This was harder than what Shanks explained to him. Maybe he wasn't really a good kisser. He hung his head down when he saw a subtle bulge between Zoro's legs. Luffy took off his sandals, and raised his foot to grasp the bulge with his toes. The swordsman let out a strange, hiccup like gasp, and the object that Luffy was holding hardened even more. Luffy blushed-because he just realized what it was-and panicked.

"Oops, I-I'm sorry-"

"Hhaa..." Luffy's lips pulled into a straight line when he heard Zoro moan again, but this time it sounded sultry and very blissful. He felt something growing between his legs too. Was this supposed to happen, Shanks? He didn't know what else he could do, so he smashed his lips into the swordsman. This time, the man took it eagerly and even parted his lips. But Luffy didn't understand why Zoro was opening his mouth. He only knew that kisses were done with closed lips.

Zoro sensed Luffy's hesitation, and he took the initiative. He licked Luffy's lips and pushed the tip in between, so he could tempt the younger man. Luffy flinched and pinched his lips together, but after giving several generous licks the young man began to understand what he was supposed to do. The kiss was different from what Luffy had imagined. It was hotter, wetter, and dirtier, but for some reason he really liked it. From the looks of Zoro's face, the swordsman liked it too.

Zoro's legs gave away, so he sank to his knees. This gave Luffy a better balance. He kept his other foot busy massaging Zoro's hardened length. His toe hooked on Zoro's pants, so he yanked them down to his thighs. The member snapped up like an elastic band and flicked droplets of cum onto Luffy's red vest. Luffy awed at the erected member and poked the tip with his toe. The swordsman flinched and made another dirty, wanton sound. Luffy's toes pinched the tip and slid his foot up and down the shaft until Zoro was screaming. Finally, the swordsman couldn't take it anymore and he came. Luffy ran his toes down as if he was milking a cow.

It was when Zoro was about to collapse when Luffy let go of his long arms. His arms snapped back to normal and grabbed Zoro just in time. Luffy set the man gently onto the deck and sat beside him. The swordsman's eyes were glazed over and were staring off in a distance. Luffy realized that he caused the man to look like this. It was tickling feeling, especially when the swordsman was beautiful when sated. Luffy was curious, so he reached over and pulled the bandana off. His whole head was visible now, and Luffy made a small squeak noise in the back of his throat. The man short green hair! It looks soft, even after it was covered by the bandana. He wanted to touch it. He began to drool at the sight of the man-which was weird because Zoro wasn't made out of food.

Zoro began to stir and the color was restored in his eyes. He stared up at Luffy with a blank expression.

"You're pretty." Zoro blushed and then turned down a scowl to hide it, "Join my crew."

Zoro didn't have the strength to fight or argue, so he sighed. He shielded his hand over his eyes to block the sunlight from his face. Luffy should've moved in to use his shadow to block the sun, but he didn't because Zoro looked sexy covering his face.

"I can't."

"Come on! Why?"

"I'm going to tell you that right now!" Zoro barked, so Luffy stopped. A wide, glittering grin spread across the straw hat boy's face however.

"The captain of this ship stole my sword, and I can't go without it."

"But you have two."

Zoro cast a glance at the two unsheathed and scattered swords. He wouldn't treat his treasured one like this, "I use three swords." He grudgingly sat up and frowned when he saw the bandana on the floor. He picked it up, and tied it on his left shoulder. He straightened himself and pulled his pants back up. He didn't really care if it was gross and wet.

"Wow! Three swords and you can eat them too!? I want you so bad now!" Luffy exclaimed while shaking his arms around.

Zoro pulled down a frown. "What are you?"

Luffy blinked because Zoro gave him an unexpected question. "What?"

"I meant...how old are you?"

"Uhh...seventeen."

Zoro made a face, "Aren't you too young to...know those kinds of kinks?"

"Eh?" Luffy scratched his head bashfully, "What's a kink?"

"It's when you do abnormal, horny things during-Wait, you don't know?"

Luffy nodded.

"Then what was that all about!?"

"I guessed. It felt good at the time."

Zoro put his hands out to hold himself, "Wait...you did that because you felt like it?"

"Yeah!" Luffy laughed, "That's exactly what I wanted to say!" The straw hat crossed his arms, "Besides, I never had sex before."

"You're a virgin-and you did that!?"

"I told you I thought it was good at the time."

Zoro now had his hand over his mouth to not show how appalled he was at Luffy. He was shocked; the kid had talent. It wasn't something to brag about, but boy did the kid make him feel good. He was a good kisser too. Zoro's body began to tremble; it was naturally aching toward Luffy. This was the first time Zoro had ever experience this feeling, this want for a specific man. He wanted Luffy to kiss him again, touch him, and love him-and maybe some naughty stuff in between. He couldn't bear to see this boy leave him now.

Zoro sighed and bent to pick up the swords. He slid them back into their sheaths and turned to Luffy.

"Are you strong?"

Luffy cracked his knuckles and grinned, "I have confidence that I can beat anyone."

Zoro knelt down and faced Luffy directly, "There's someone I need to defeat, but I can't because the captain of this ship has my sword."

"But you have two."

"I can replace those, but the one he has..." Zoro paused and shook his head, "I want my sword back. He says he has it locked up behind the treasure chest room, but I can't seem to find it anywhere."

"Okay, I'll do that!"

Zoro couldn't help but pull a smile, "You will?"

"And if I do beat his ass and get your sword, will you join my crew?"

"I'll do anything."

Luffy nodded, "Yosh! I'll get your sword and beat his ass!" The straw hat was about to head off when he stopped, "Uh...what can you do?"

"Me?"

"Are you a musician?"

"Uhh...no."

"Aw man!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Nah, but you can talk right?"

Zoro frowned, "...I don't really like to."

"Aww..."

"B-But..."

"Hm?"

"I can fight too."

"Cool! With swords?" Zoro nodded.

"Are you strong?" Zoro nodded again.

"If you're strong...why can't you beat the captain here?"

"Because he has a devil fruit ability."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, but his ability can-"

"-And who are you talking to Roronoa!?"

Zoro and Luffy flinched and turned their attention to the tall clown man staring down at them with a gleaming, yet half-restrained smile. His crewmates were standing behind him with a dark, silent demeanor.

"B-Buggy!" The green haired swordsman cursed under his breath. Why didn't he feel their presence? Was it because of Luffy?

"Who are you?" Luffy asked.

"I'm the captain of this pirate ship young boy! I'm Captain Buggy!"

"Haha, you have a big nose."

Buggy let out a large snort. Zoro covered his mouth to suppress a laugh while the rest of the crew turned blue in the face. Calling Buggy with nose names was a huge taboo because the captain was very sensitive when it came to his big, red nose.

"W-What did you just say!?"

"I said you have a really big nose!"

"You bastard! Get the hell out of my ship!"

"No! Because I came to beat your-Whoa!" A gigantic lion stood between Buggy and Luffy and took a bite of Luffy's head. Luffy was alive, but everyone could hear him screaming inside the lion's mouth. The lion winched and growled as Luffy punched around its jaw, lip, and into his nostrils.

"Throw him over and out of my sight!" Buggy screamed, and the lion spit Luffy like a wad of saliva. The straw hat kid yelled as he flew off the ship and was thrown all the way into the abandoned town.

"Luffy!" Zoro shouted and was about to run after him when a floating hand caught Zoro's wrist. He was pulled back to face Buggy.

"Hou, it seems that you know the kid?"

"J-Just his name."

"Hmmm...!" Buggy stared at the damp spot that formed around Zoro's pants. "...come here." Zoro's eyes widened when Buggy was taking him to their tent, and for the first time since he slept with Buggy, his blood ran cold.

"N-No Buggy-! I don't-!" Zoro's protests continued as Buggy dragged the reluctant swordsman inside the tent.

The flap was closed and the rest of the crewmates exchanged looks.

"...why did Roronoa look scared?"

"They've been doing it for a while now...so it shouldn't be new..."

Cabaji gasped and turned somber, "Does this mean-!"

"Hmmm?"

-.-.-

On the North side of the island, a small boat made its way to the dock. The boat was securely tied to the dock, and a young woman hopped out. She quickly folded the flag that resembled the Buggy pirate crew mark. It was her lucky day: she tricked a couple of idiot pirates and got a hefty reward. Now, all she needed was the Grand Line map, which it was rumored that Captain Buggy had it. She traced where the pirate was, and she had finally found it. Now, all she needed was to somehow sneak into Buggy's ship, and find the map.

She was going to plan it out, but she really hoped she could find someone who could help her temporarily.

**To Be Continued**


End file.

One Piece, Humor, Romance