Harry Potter, Naruto 1. Extreme Measures Naruto

Total Crack Fic.

Ok, I don't own Naruto Uzumaki, that honor belongs to Kishimoto.

Extreme Measures

Uzumaki Naruto, Genin of Konohagakure, was hurtling through the trees of the Fire Country, in hot pursuit of one Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke had just defected from the village of Konoha, and Naruto was part of a team sent to apprehend him, and make him return to the village, by force, if necessary. All measures, up to and including the most "extreme", has been authorized. Naruto touched lightly the pouch hanging at his waist, but pulled his fingers away as if burned. In the pouch lay a scroll, given him by the Hokage herself.

~Flashback~

Tsunade looked across her desk at Naruto, who was fidgeting, obviously nervous at having been told to stay behind while the rest of the team headed for the gate.

"What is it, baa-chan? I need to go get Sasuke-teme back!"

Tsunade let out a slow breath, then looked Naruto in the eye as she pulled out a small scroll. She laid it on the desk in front of her. "Naruto, you have the most experience out of your team with summoning techniques. I hope it is not necessary, but, if, in the course of this retrieval mission, it appears that the Uchiha is going to escape, you are to use this scroll. Just smear your blood on the scroll, and perform the technique as you would normally."

Naruto picked up the scrool excitedly. "Awesome. What's it summon? The ANBU? Giant Dogs? The Kyuubi? Huh, Huh?" ~End Flashback~ Naruto twitched as he remembered what Tsunade told him. He swore he would only use the scroll as an absolute last resort. Sasuke would have to shove a Chidori through his chest before he would summon those.

-Scene Break-

Naruto lay, panting on the ground, while across the river, Sasuke was bent over, trying to catch his breath. The two of them had been fighting in the Valley of the End, site of an epic battle between the First Hokage and Madara Uchiha. Naruto and Sasuke had been battling for some time, and it showed. The twin statues of the two ancient combatants were pitmarked and scarred by the techniques the two young ninja had been using, and the two current combatants weren't much better. Naruto was clutching at a badly burned soldier, while Sasuke was featuring multiple bruises.

However, Sasuke slowly rose, leaving Naruto laying there, his limbs twitching from the aftershocks of the Chidori that Sasuke had attacked him with. "Just stay down, dobe. You (pant) can't win." Sasuke slowly turned and prepared to leave, when Naruto spoke.

"Please."

Sasuke turned back, to see that Naruto had risen to his knees. Sasuke sneered. "Please? Do you think you can get me to stop my growth, to stop my pursuit of **that man **just by asking?"

"Please...don't make me do this."

Sasuke snorted. "Do what, bleed on me? You are nothing but a dead-last ninja. You can't stop me."

Sasuke turned again, when he heard a rustling of cloth on metal. He spun, preparing to deflect whatever attack Naruto was about to use, when he paused. Naruto was still kneeling, with twin tracks of tears dripping from his cheeks and landing on a scroll that he had unrolled on the ground. A smear of blood was traced across it, with a bloody kunai laying next to the scroll, and Naruto was going through hand seals. Sasuke tensed and leaped forward, intent on disrupting the technique before Naruto could finish, only to freeze in terror at Naruto's next words.

"I'm so sorry. FANGIRL SUMMONING JUTSU!"

*Bamf* "KYAAHH! SASUKE-KUN!"

"AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!" Sasuke's scream could be heard all the way back in Konoha, where Tsunade listened, chuckling to herself, as she drained another glass of sake.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

Ok, so this story is designed to be a depository of story or scene ideas that I have, that I just can't seem to flesh out. It can be thought of as a compendium of one-shots in various categories. At the bottom of the story, I may add more detail. If anyone wants to use these scenes or ideas, go right ahead, just please leave a review about it so that I can go and read your stories as well. Thanks so much!


	2. An Olympic Plan Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Greek Mythology...I don't know who does honestly.

**An Olympic Plan**

by: CyberArcRotarr

Harry Potter was rather confused.

That was not, in and of itself, an odd position for Harry to find himself in. Given that he lacked a drive to study, a habit that was beaten out of him by the Dursleys, he was often forced to play catch up, a role which one Hermione Granger took great pride in assisting him in.

Harry was currently standing in front of a rather large black door. He had awoken just a few minutes before on the shore of some river, and had immediately been met by a very harried looking woman. She had immediately started to mutter to herself "..not again. Bloody hell, its an even dozen now...", but Harry had no time to ask about what she was muttering, as she had grabbed him in a rather firm grip and started to drag him up a path and around a small hill. This had led him to where he was currently standing. The woman had passed through the doors after leaving him with hissed instructions to stand there and not do anything stupid or potentially fatal until he had time to clear up this mess. What precisely this mess was he wasn't sure of, but he was sure that it had probably been explained to him at some point and he had simply forgotten.

Harry thought back to his last memory before waking up here. He had been walking through the woods to face Voldemort. He was going to die and leave Voldemort finally vulnerable to being killed. He thought he remembered arriving at the clearing, but everything seemed fuzzy. It was like trying to remember a dream you had just woken up from. Could it all have been a dream? Harry didn't think so, but the thought made him uncomfortable.

Just as Harry was pondering this, the Black Doors opened and the woman hurried out again. Harry rather thought the Doors deserved to be capitalized, as they were rather imposing. With that odd thought, Harry was ushered through the imposing doors into...

An office. Harry blinked for a second as he stared at the ceiling. The doors had to have been at least 8 meters tall, bigger than the Front Doors of Hogwarts, but the ceiling was only a couple of meters above Harry's head. Harry turned to look behind him, to see a pair of smaller, but no less imposing, Black Doors, now only about a third of the height of the previous doors. The woman was no where in sight.

"Yes, yes. If you are quite done admiring the décor, perhaps you could pay attention to your host?"

Harry spun around to face the speaker. It was a man, tan with leathery skin. His eyes were as black as any Harry had ever seen, but they seemed to gleam with an hidden power. He was dressed in a loose-fitting t-shirt and leather jacket, which seemed quite at odds with the official looking desk strewn with official looking paper work that he was sitting behind.

"12 times. 12 cursed times you have stood in my office, and you only made it to SEVENTEEN!" The man was glaring at Harry in a fury. He appeared to be struggling to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I don't..."

"Wait, let me guess. _I'm sorry, sir, you must be thinking of someone else. I don't remember ever having been here before._" The man snarled out a high-pitched imitation of Harry's voice, then snorted."Of course you don't remember. Everyone has to drink of the Lethe before they get sent back. Not that means much to you."

Harry rather wisely kept his mouth shut. He had no idea how he had gotten here, but he didn't have either his wand or his invisibility cloak, so he felt it wouldn't do to antagonize the obviously angry and possibly a little deranged man.

After several moments of angry muttering, the man sat back and let out a long sigh. When he leaned forward again, he seemed calmer.

"Alright, listen, I am going to explain this once, and only once. First off, you're dead. You walked into the Forbidden Forest, into a camp full of Death Eaters, and practically dared Voldemort to kill you. And so he did. And now your here for me to deal with, yet again."

Harry moved to interrupt, but the man cut him off. "What do I mean again? I mean that this is the twelfth time that you have died, and the fifth in which I have had to get involved. Most of the time the Furies could handle it, but no, you just have to make life difficult for everyone."

Harry was now utterly confused. He had no idea what the man was talking about but he was fairly certain he would remember dying twelve times. Almost as if he was reading his mind, the man held up a finger.

"Let's see, first, you pop up when you are three after your 'loving' aunt accidently drops you on your head. The nightmares we gave her ensured that it would never happen again, but it also meant that your whole stupid sacrifice out there was pointless."

Harry opened his mouth to object, but once again was cut off. The man grinned at him. "Oh, no, I had to, there's a Horcrux in me. Boy, if there was a Horcrux in you, you would be a mindless puppet for Voldemort just like that snake. When you popped up here the first time, you had a little tag-along. One of the Furies took him down and threw him in Tartarus, and the other gave you a gulp of the Lethe, mixed with a persimmon seed so you would only forget dying and its assorted busywork, and popped you back over, healed up as quick as you please. Didn't even need to turn back time for that one."

The man then held up another finger. "Second time was starvation, nasty way to go. That one was fixed, no problem. The third time with the stairs, we placed a little charm on your relatives so that they would at least unconsciously stop you from dying. That's when you pick up the slack. Fourth was a bad case of food poisoning. Honestly, what were you thinking, dumpster-diving? Then there was the whole splinching accident. I actually had to mess with time a bit to get everything to line up right, after that cleaning lady found the bottom half of you in the alley with your cousin and his gang in various states of shock. And all of that was before you got to Hogwarts."

Harry had slumped into one of the chairs behind him in shock. He was beginning to get fuzzy memories of those incidents. He could remember the cramps...but hadn't those gone away? And the worst he had gotten from falling down the stairs was a broken arm. Yet...

The man didn't seem to even be paying attention to Harry anymore. "Oh yeah, Hogwarts was a doozy. First year there, and you die from magical draining. First time that I had to step in. I borrowed some of that Stone's power to put you right before Dumbledore arrived. Though I have to admit that it was pretty neat that you just burned him up there. Shame it only reacts to Voldemort though."

"Anyway, then second year rolls around, you die twice. First from the bludger, then from the snake. The Furies handled the bludger just fine, even got the ponce Lockhart down there fast enough to try and teach you a lesson about dangerous situations," Harry opened his mouth to protest, it had hurt regrowing those bones, but the man stormed on. "BUT THE SNAKE! I had to get the _others_ involved. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Me, the God of Death, having to ask **Dionysius** for help cleaning out some snot-nosed punk's bloodstream. I swear..."

Harry was frozen. The phrase 'God of Death' seemed to be echoing very loudly in his head, and Harry's mind turned towards the Deathly Hallows. Was Harry being punished for collecting them all? Did it even count since he wasn't sure if the Elder Wand was his or not? The man smirked at Harry's expression.

"Finally got it, huh? Should have had Greta drag you passed the Cerberus, though I doubt that would do much to you, after you faced off against her grand-pup, I doubt it would faze you."

Harry didn't hear a word he said, just stared at him. "You...you're..."

"I'm Hades. And I am most annoyed with you, Harry Potter."

**Author Note**

Ok, so this idea came from the many stories where Harry dies, meets Death, finds out it is a mistake, and gets send back in time, often with uber-powers. There are two more chapters I have written, and, if I can figure out a good timeline or something, I may branch this story out on its own.


	3. An Olympic Plan 2 Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Greek Mythology...I don't know who does honestly.

**An Olympic Plan, Part 2**

by: CyberArcRotarr

Hades leaned back in his desk as he waited for his guest to awaken. Honestly, why were mortals always so shocked when they met a god? Even when they were still walking around normally, the revelations could cause Spartans to fall flat on their faces. Though, they would usually then try and stab you. They always had a rather touchy relationship with the gods.

Hades sat back and sighed. This boy in front of him was more trouble than a dozen Spartans though. It just seemed that the boy couldn't stay out of death. He was always rushing headlong. IF he had been trained properly, he would have been an amazing hero. As it was...

Hades slowly began to laugh. It started out as a rusty chuckle, before quickly picking up speed. He had just had a _wonderful_ idea for how he was going to solve is Potter Problem now and forever. He directed a few thought-messages out towards the furies and other gods. His laughter also had the benefit of jolting his guest awake.

Harry looked around wildly, before he slowly began to remember just where he was. He didn't know how long he had been out of it, but with his...host...laughing, he supposed he couldn't be in too much trouble.

"Harry, you are in more trouble than you realize." Harry jumped as Hades answered his silent thoughts. He grinned at the boy's discomfort.

"I'm a god, boy. I can read you in a hundred different ways. Don't worry though, I have a vested interest in making sure you make it out of all of this alive."

Harry let out a breath of relief. "So I'm..."

As usual, Hades didn't let him finish. "Yes, you are going back, but it won't be like the other times. Before, all memory of dying was removed and circumstances were arraigned so that you actually survived the stupid circumstances you found yourself in. Soul ripped out by Dementors, dueling a Dark Lord in a graveyard, rushing headlong through a doorway to my FREAKING CASTLE!" Hades paused to calm himself, then continued at a normal volume. "But we can't do that this time. I made some major changes after your escapade through my door. You went for almost two years before dying, I thought we were finally clear, but then you are back here again."

Hades stared at Harry over his clasped hands. "This will be your thirteenth life, boy. That means something." Hades waved his hand and a thread appeared in his hands. A portion of it was gold, and the rest was gray. "This is a lifeline. It is actually for that ponce known as Gilderoy Lockhart. The golden portion is his destined lifetime. He _has _to live that long to accomplish whatever he is supposed to, and after that, he can die. Some people live for many years beyond their destined lifetime, others snuff it with in minutes."

Hades played with the string for a moment, before swapping it out for a much longer one, this one was almost entirely gold. Several portions looked frayed at one end, and Harry felt oddly wary of those frayed portions.

"This is your lifeline. As you can see, you are destined to live for a very long time. The fates have many plans for you, the first of which was to kill Voldemort. It should have been simple. In all honesty, you and that survivor Dumbledore messed it up, but I will talk about that later."

"The point is, that your line can't take another death from you. Your thirteenth death will be your last. That is a Law. I don't know why, but if you die again, that is it for you. But, if you die while your thread is golden, not only your life, but your destiny is severed too."

That didn't sound all that bad to Harry. No more Boy-Who-Lived or Chosen One nonsense. Sure, the dying wasn't great, but maybe he could see his parents...

Hades fist slammed into the desk. "NO!" Harry jumped wide-eyed. Hades glowered at him, then sighed. "Look, I don't like the Fates. The destiny they have given you is too much for one as young as you to be asked to bear, but it is yours. If it is broken, it will not only affect you, but everyone close to you. Those whose strands are interwoven with yours, such as your soul-mate, would die instantly. Others would be twisted or changed. The darkest change would be to Voldemort."

Harry stared at Hades, not having heard much past soul-mate. "Ginny would die?"

Hades raised an eye-brow. "Ginny...maybe, she is rather close to you, but I don't know if she is close enough to be hit that hard by the backlash.

"But you said..."

"That your soul-mate would die? Yes, but it isn't Ginerva Weasley. It's some other girl, she's never darkened my door, so I can't tell you much. I am pretty sure you met her though. What was her name, Grangy-something?" Hades frowned as Harry's mouth fell open in shock. "Listen, you can deal with your love life once you're back, the point here is, if you die for good, Voldemort wins."

Harry was still trying to wrap his mind around all these revelations. He was dead, he was talking to Hades, Hermione was supposed to be his soul-mate. Harry felt like he was about to faint again. Hades wasn't having any of it.

"YEEOUCH!" Harry leapt up as his chair burst into flame. Harry stared in shock between his now flaming chair, and Hades, who was looking rather bored. With a wave of his hand, he extinguished the chair and motioned for Harry to sit.

"As I was saying, we don't have time for your angst." Harry took his seat while glowering at Hades. "Yeah, I love you too. Now, Voldemort."

A third life-line appeared in Hades' hand. This one was partially golden, but it was streaked through with veins of black that seemed to wrap around the thread as it turned gray and began to fray and fall apart. The black lines were thick and held the line together. Harry had a feeling that he knew who this line belonged to.

"Yes, this is Tom Riddle's line, known as Lord Voldemort. As you can see, he has held onto life with a tenacity I have never seen. And I mean never. Voldemort is the first man desperate enough to escape Death to rend his soul so many times. The Fates chose you specifically to be the instrument to sever his line. Unfortunately, Albus Dumbledore got involved."

"Albus Dumbledore is past his prime. He finished his destiny when he defeated Grindelwald and discovered the uses for Dragon's Blood. After that, he could live as he chose. He chose to stay involved in the world, good for him, the problem is his Phoenix. You see, Phoenix are creatures outside of our jurisdiction as gods. The Phoenix bonded to him and sustained his life, protecting him from an sort of accidental or incidental deaths, the most common type. And he is powerful enough to dispel any attempts for someone to end his life directly. That just leaves Old Age to claim him, but it looks like that might take too long."

"In short, when the Fates were weaving your thread and making their plan for you, Dumbledore was interviewing Ms. Sybil Trelawny, and so he got a snippet of the plan when she picked up on the Fate's muttering. ("Though," Hades thought to himself, "it's the Fates' own fault for not cutting that connection. Stupid bats.") A portion of that snippet made its way to Voldemort via Severus Snape. The way the plan was supposed to work was Voldemort would end up getting bested in a fire-fight with Aurors and have to lay low (Two Aurors had their destined portions lengthened so they could accomplish this). You were to live your life and end up getting involved in a fight in your Fifth Year. Voldemort would attempt a ritual during the battle that would basically use his Horcruxes to bind himself to Hogwarts, making him immortal so long as the castle stood. You interrupt and, completely by accident, botch the ritual and off Voldemort. The power that he knows not was an idea that was bandied about, but discarded in favor of fortune. Now, we are going to bring that back."

Harry stared as he digested what he had been told. His entire life had been ruined because of Dumbledore, or at least Dumbledore's rotten luck. He wondered...

"Could we just start it over? You said that you had turned back time. Just make sure Trelawny keeps her mouth shut."

Hades snorted. "We reset time by a few minutes, and that was almost too much. That is one of the reasons that you have been such a thorn in our side. Have you ever heard of Kronus?"

Harry slowly shook his head. Hades snorted, "Of course you haven't, you have that ruddy ghost for a history professor. Alright, so, Kronus is a Bad Guy, all capitals. He is the age-old enemy of us gods, and he would love to see us dead. Right now, he is trapped in the Pit of Tartarus in about a thousand pieces, though he is trying to return. He is the Titan Lord of Time, so, anytime that the gods use our power to alter time, Kronus uses those alterations to weaken his prison. Essentially, when time runs straight, he can't do anything. However, when changes cause time to 'ripple', so to speak, he can reach across the ripples and gather strength. That is why we can't just reach back in time and stop Voldemort and his ilk from rising, doing so would make ripples large enough to free Kronus."

Harry frowned, and then slowly nodded. "So, you are going to train me, and send me back to the woods to fight him?"

Hades snorted. "Nope, that wouldn't do much good at this point. Voldemort has too much power for you to best him baring a miracle. No, my plan is much better." Hades turned towards the door, and shouted, "Send him in."

Harry turned as the doors opened. The landscape outside looked black and barren, but Harry's attention was caught by the man who had just entered.

He was tall and fair looking, with short brownish-red hair and a sharp face. He was dressed in sports jacket and khaki pants, looking just like an wizard trying to pull off a 'posh-gentlemanly' look. However, his choice in clothes wasn't what made Harry pause.

"Harry, I would like you to meet..."

The boy interrupted. "Tom Riddle. I have been waiting to meet you Harry."

**Author Note**

HAHA, who saw that coming?


	4. An Olympic Plan 3 Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Greek Mythology...I don't know who does honestly.

**An Olympic Plan**

by: CyberArcRotarr

Harry leapt to his feet with a cry, his hand grasping for a wand that wasn't there. Hades rolled his eyes as Tom raised his hands in an gesture of surrender. Harry whirled to face Hades. "What is he...!"

Harry froze, the tip of a massive broadsword tapping lightly against his nose. Hades stared at him, and Harry only now realized how much his eyes looked like flames, burning in his handsome face. Hades slowly retracted the blade, which seemed to melt away in the air as he did so, leaving his hand empty as he rested it again on his desk. He gestured as Harry's chair, which was once again standing upright, and had now been joined by another. Harry took the chair and sat down, surreptitiously sliding away from the chair that..._he_... had just taken. Hades raised his eyebrow imperiously.

"Remember who you are speaking to, mortal. As I said, we don't have time for your angst. So, Harry, this is Tom. Half of him was dropped off here when you 'visited' the first time, and the other half you ripped out of a diary when you were twelve. Those halves went to Tartarus and met up. I will let him explain why he has been released."

Harry glared, first at Hades then at Tom, but it faltered when he saw the look of remorse on Tom's face. There was no other word for it. Tom looked pained as he met Harry's eyes.

"I...I fell into the Pit, and almost immediately I was met by the portion from your scar. It had been almost completely overwritten by an magical imprint of you and the protection of your mother's love, and it severely drained me re-merging with it. Kronus sensed my weakness and attacked me, or at least, a piece of him did. He tried to...to eat me. To gain power, he wanted to devour my soul. But...she, no...they saved me. Your mother and...Ginny..."

Harry's eyes widened, but Tom didn't seem to notice. His voice sped up, and seemed to gain strength.

"When I tried...when I tried to come back, I sought to take her, Ginny's, soul and reshape it with my own. Just like you and your mother overwrote my soul fragment in you, I would overwrite her. You stopped me, something I can't thank you enough for." Harry choked at that point, but Tom continued. "I was separated from her soul when you destroyed my diary, but her soul left impressions on mine. Those impressions meshed with your mother's protection, and She helped me drive off Kronus, but another portion of me was filled by him. While my main personality is that of Tom Riddle, I have portions of Ginny Weasley, Lily Potter, you, and the Dark God Kronus in me as well."

Harry stared gaping at him, feeling like he had been hit over the head with a brick. Voldemort and...Ginny? Or was it Tom, Volemort, and Ginny? And his mother? Harry put his hand to his forehead to stave off the headache he felt coming on. He briefly wondered what would have happened if he hadn't been able to rescue Ginny. Would a sixteen year-old Tom Riddle have walked out of the Chamber and called Ron, 'Brother'? Would he have been crushing on Harry? Harry shuddered at the thought.

Hades burst out laughing. "Oh you mortals. This is why we gods don't need TV. You all are so entertaining all on your own." Hades settled down, smiling at the glares both Harry and Tom were giving him. "As much as I would love to watch you two sort out your...feelings...we don't have time." Hades raised an eyebrow and looked at Tom, who nodded, then continued his tale.

"As Hades has no doubt explained, they can't send you back in time without waking up Kronus. However, I can."

Tom held out a hand, and a ghostly yellow glow flowed out of his hand. "I possess a fraction of the power that Kronus did, but I can use it to move through time with out disturbing Kronus' prison. I am also the only denizen of the Pit that has enough 'Good' in them to be trusted to not misuse this power."

Harry stared, his mind whirling to catch up. "So, _you_ are going to send me back in time?"

Tom shook his head. "No, I am going to _take_ you back in time."

Hades nodded. "Right, now that you have finally explained that, we are going to make a stop at Olympus first, where some of the Gods have agreed to grant you, Harry, certain gifts. Nothing too big, as there are certain boundaries we can't cross, but enough to qualify as the Power-that-he-knows-not. Then, Tom will take you back in time. You will both de-age, but due to the effects of his fusion, Tom is currently 34 or so, so he will end up being around 20 when he gets back. He will have to deal with attracting the past-Diary fragment upon arrival, but he should be able to overcome it, given the strength of his current soul. You will have your memories, but they will be blurred. Tom will move in near you and ensure that the Dursley's take proper care of you, as well as train you in using magic and your gifts. So, lets go." There was a rush as black flame filled the chamber. When it cleared, it was empty.

**Author Note**

And that is all I wrote. So, the basic ideas that I had for gifts would be increased aptitude for flight and air based magic by Zeus, Hera strengthening Lily's protection further, Artemis expanding his Parseltongue ability into a rudimentary Beast-tongue ability, Hermes giving him access to the Thief's Path, a hidden road that can lead to anywhere, but requires a specific ritual to reach, and so on. Hades doesn't give him a gift, feeling that he has done enough.

So, enjoy!


End file.

Harry Potter, Naruto