Wrestling Sic Transit Gloria (Glory Fades)

_Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades_

_Dean Ambrose _

Renee held my hand pretty tight. "You should have traveled with me tonight." She whispers, walking down the empty hallway.

"Yeah, well, I've always traveled with Seth and Roman. You know that." She chuckles. She stops for a second and kisses me. After doing this for a couple months, I still felt a little effect. I thought I was happy with Renee Young. I wanted to form a relationship… She thought differently. She thought in the mindset of the old Dean Ambrose.

I felt her hand come on my cheek. She moans a bit. "We don't need to keep this a secret." I whispered to her.

"We're nothing more than friends, Ambrose." She says we keep walking down the hallway. She finds out room number. She unlocks the door. Once we got in, I noticed it was only one bed. _Of course… She needs to have sex with me… Every fucking night. _

"_Keep the noise low. She doesn't wanna blow it. Shaking head to toe while your left hand does "the show me around." Quickens your heartbeat, it beats me straight into the ground."_

Renee begins to take her white top off. I stood there still. "Do we really need to?" I whisper to myself.

Renee turns around, revealing her red lacey bra. "Of course, Dean." I bit my lip. I wasn't even feeling it at all tonight. _This is what I get for using her after all these months. I start having feelings, but she still believes it's just friends with benefits. _"Come here, sweetheart."

I sighed and came next to her. She begins to rip off my shirt. I lay down, praying that she would change her mind. Renee begins to kiss me. I feel the effects again. It was like being high or drunk. Her kisses were a god damn drug to me. I moaned a little bit, feeling her kiss my neck.

"Sh," her brown eyes hit me. They draw me in more than her kisses. God dammit, she is beautiful. "You know no one can hear us."

"God dammit, Renee, there's way too many photos already." When Total Divas was being filmed, Renee begged for me to carpool with her. Roman and Seth didn't like the idea, knowing my feelings for her were being fucked with. I deal with it though. Even though every time I see her, I just want to throw her against a wall and tell her I really feel. It gets on my last nerve she can't realize I want to finally settle down.

"I don't give a fuck." She growls out. "You're the idiot that let your friends take those photos at Wrestlemania week. You're the asshole who told them all we might be dating or trying to. We never will, Ambrose. Get that through your head."

I just wanted to walk out right now, find Seth's room or something. I look at her face and knew I couldn't. I was hoping to get one night to realize I love her.

"_You don't recover from a night like this. A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless. A hand moves in the dark to a zipper. Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper, 'This is so messed up.'"_

It was the next morning. I woke up on my own. I knew I had to go to CrossFit with Seth. I stood up and felt the ache in my body. I was already sore in general; thank God, all we did was a promo with Evolution. My ribs still hurt from The Wyatt's match. Renee though has just kept begging for these nights. I had to follow.

I got changed into a WWE Live Event shirt and black gym shorts. I look up and saw Renee was still asleep. Her face was still gorgeous with the make up all over the place. I sat next to her for a second. I brushed her hair out of her face. Why was she doing this me, tormenting my feelings?

I just want to lie next to her and confess all my feelings. I can't though; she won't believe me. I kiss her forehead softly. There was twisted feeling in my stomach. I felt the room spinning. Was she really causing me to feel this way?

_This is messing me up…_

"_Upon arrival the guests had all stared. Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs._ _No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch, unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships."_

I took breathe in, still in the broom closet. Renee pushed me in there and fucked me up again. I was sweating and shaking. I couldn't handle doing this anymore. It was making me go crazy; she was going to drive me mental.

I exited, walking my way to the locker room. I threw my bag down, seeing Seth behind me. I look around the room to see Randy Orton was the only other one here. "Whoa, wait, dude. You're sweating a lot."

"Yeah," I murmured out. Seth had me sit down. "It's nothing, Seth." He gave me a water bottle. I took tiny sips.

Seth placed a hand on my forehead. "Sure you're not sick, Ambrose," Randy says, walking over. "Most of the guys lately have been catching some stomach bug."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Seth says. "Caught that during Wrestlemania week," he looks at me. "He has no fever. He's just warm."

"Well, hopefully he's not sick." Randy says. "I'll see you guys around."

We heard the door shut. "Is no one else here," I whisper out. Seth shakes his head. "Renee Young is literally killing me."

Seth came over to me. "Have you told her how you feel yet?"

"I keep telling her Seth. I don't know why I keep going back to her." I place my hands on my face. I felt Seth's hand on my back. "I kept feeling sick seeing her now. I still feel that great feeling kissing her, but now… I don't know. I'm starting to feel disgusted."

"I think it's time," I look up at him, "you leave her."

I shook my head and sat up straight. "I can't just do that."

"Dude, you are going to make yourself sick." I stood up and got changed into the gear. "Please, Dean, leave her. I don't want to see one of my best friends hurt and sick."

I sighed, looking at the mini mirror that was facing me. I could see myself pale and sweating. I had to leave her. I just _had _too.

"_He keeps his hands low. He doesn't wanna blow it. He's wet from head to toe and his eyes give her the up and the down."_

I woke up in the hotel again. I felt Renee shifted. I was fighting to get away, to move on. She grabbed my hair and kissed me. I was dealing with my addiction, my drug. She felt so good, even when doing her. The after effects are what are going to kill me.

The sweats had got worse. I could take a million showers and be covered still. I was shaking more and more every day. I even fell back into old habits because of her. I bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter the other night secretly. They were at least calming the anxiety of this all.

After rubbing my hands over my sweat covered face, I grab hoodie and put that and sweatpants on. I grab the cigarettes, lighter, and my cell phone. I took my headphones with me. I look back down at Renee and felt myself freeze up. She wasn't beautiful anymore…

_"The people, the focus, the reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to settle. Die young and save yourself…"_

_It was a WWE bar night. A couple girls were here. I saw Summer Rae talking to Renee Young. I took a sip from my beer. I look over to Seth. "Should I try tonight?" _

_He laughs. "Finding another girl to fuck, Ambrose?" _

"_Hey, some of the Divas are fucking great in bed." _

_Roman rolls his eyes. "We won't know." I laughed. "Try her out, then, Ambrose." _

_I walk over to Renee, leaving my beer over there. "Renee Young, right?"_

_She turns. "I'm surprised you know my name." _

"_I hear it way too often." She smiles. I lick my lips, keeping them wet. "You of course know me." _

"_Dean Ambrose, our great United States Champion." I rolled my eyes. "You know, you are kind of cute." _

"_Same goes for you…" _

I shook my head. Get the hell out of my head, I wanted to scream.

"_They take all the taste out. It used to be the reason that we're even, now it's choking me up. Die young and save yourself." _

I felt Renee's tongue move in. "I have to leave," I said. "I can't miss my flight."

"Well, you're not going to cheat on me, are you?"

I smiled and kissed her cheek. "Of course not." Even though we are not official or girlfriend/boyfriend for the least, she still does not want me to see another lady. _I don't understand it at all… _ "Look, babe, I have to go." I was lying to her. I just needed to get out of her. Seth was going to drive me the airport anyway. I was going to hang out in his room.

She began to kiss me again. The feeling started to wear off. It was as if my mindset knew I was feeling numb. I was becoming slowly depressed because I wasn't happy. I was not even becoming happy in the ring, and everyone could tell.

I grab my stuff and left. No words were exchanged. Nothing…

"_She hits the lights. This doesn't seem quite fair. Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared."_

_I met up with Seth and Roman before I went back into my room. I had just landed. I was already becoming pale. I was craving the need for a smoke, but I couldn't let them know. I began to chew on gum in gym. _

_We finished up. We all went out to eat. "Ambrose," Seth looks up, seeing I haven't touched my food. "Come on, you need to eat. They might put us in a match tonight." _

"_I just don't feel hunger." I forced myself to eat. _

"_Renee is killing you, isn't she?" Roman speaks up. I nod, looking down. "You need to leave her." _

"_Exactly," Rollins said. "I've seen enough of you fucked up. Ambrose, you are hurting yourself again. Don't act like I haven't caught you smoking, I did." I shook my head. "Don't lie to me, you bastard." I bit my lip. "I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have."_

"_It's fine." I said, looking up at him. "I haven't been listening to you." _

"_Then listen to me, Dean." His face became strict. "Leave her. You'll find someone else to be happy with. Don't put yourself through this."_

It was the night after they said that. Renee led me into our hotel room.

"_She's breathing quiet and smooth. He's gasping for air."This is the first and last time," he says. She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his. He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides. He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like." _

The scent of her perfume was almost killing me. She was on top of me. I felt his hips collide with mine. She traces the outline of my cheek and kisses me. She moans softly. "You taste so good tonight, Ambrose." She pressures harder. She began to climax, but I was still.

My hands were at my side. I didn't wrap them at all around her body. She began to notice. I closed my eyes, waiting for this entire end. I was feeling nothing now. The high wasn't working anymore…

She was finished. She lay next to me. I shook my head. "This is the last time, Renee."

"What are you saying," she chuckles, having me face her. "You just can't leave me, Dean."

"I could." I said. "I'm sick of this, Renee. I'm getting sick of being treated like this."

"You won't leave. You love me."

I closed my eyes. She leans in to kiss me. Though I felt nothing, I whispered out in between, "You're right."

"_He is the lamb, she is the slaughter. She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her. Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect. He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for se-..."_

Renee tried to be my girlfriend. She was telling everyone in the WWE. I was sitting in the locker room, away from everyone. "Dean," someone calls out. I lift my head. "Dean, its Seth."

"I'm in here," I said. I heard his footsteps getting closer. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't listen," he begins with. "Dean, you're actually literally getting sick." He was right. I was throwing up after eating lunch with the guys. My body was a mess now. It was all the stress of being in this relationship. "I can't believe you said yes to be her boyfriend."

"I thought it was finally happening." I look up at him. "I can't just leave her now."

"Of course, you can't, you bastard. I don't give a fuck anymore. You messed up, Dean Ambrose. I've tried to help you, but you screwed up." He walked away. I was alone officially.

We got back to the hotel. I held Renee's hand, faking a smile. We lay in bed. For once, she didn't ask for sex. I could tell though, Renee was craving it. I began to make out with her. I whispered to her how much I loved her.

There was no response back.

"_So much more than he could ever give. A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship. He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides. He waits for it to end and for the aching in his guts to subside."_

We've been together for a week. I was already trying to run. Renee had thrown me on the bed. She ripped off my shirt and jeans. She wanted to get it done and over with.

I wasn't touching her at all. She noticed again. This had been the same routine for a while. "God dammit, Ambrose, love me!"

"You don't, so why should I?" I pushed her off me.

She looks up. "What do you mean?"

"You just look for sex. You settle for the relationship because you wanted to make me feel okay." She looks back down, biting her lip. I stood and began to put clothing on. "Let those fans keep believing we are together. I don't care anymore. We're done. I don't love you anymore."

I took my stuff and left the room. I called Seth. "What do you want, Ambrose?"

"It's done." I murmured out. "I left her."

"My room number is 3326. There's an extra bed. I thought my girl was coming. She got sick." I nod, searching for his room.

Once I got there, he put me in a hug. "You're okay now, Ambrose."

"I feel okay." I nod to him. "I feel better."

"Good," he says. "Get some rest."

_"The people, the focus. The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to settle. Die young and save yourself. They take all the taste out. It used to be the reason that we're even, now it's choking me up. Die young and save yourself."_

After a while, Renee Young didn't work for WWE anymore. Her contract had expired, and she moved on to ESPN. I moved on and found another girl. I fell in love… The way it should have happened.

**A/N: So this was something I quickly thought of when I got in a bunch of fights about Renee and Dean being together (whether they are or not, I have no idea) Song goes to Brand New. Hope you guys like. I don't know if I'll keep writing Renee/Dean, but who knows? I just wrote this cause I hear the song all the time cause my friend's band cover it. So I decided to listen to it, and then this idea popped up. Review and stuff, also check out my other stuff. **


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Wrestling, Drama, Hurt-Comfort