Once and Again 1. Chapter 1

Title: Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

**Title**: Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

**Rating**: Starts at "T" (but could go up to "M" with time)

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anyone in this story (unless you've not heard of them), they belong to whoever's great mind thought them up. So don't sue me, k? Title belongs to Fall Out Boy. Screen names actually belong to me.

**Plot/Storyline**: (all revealed in the first paragraph) It's been about a year since Katie and Jessie's bitter break up; Katie's in college and Jessie's in her senior year of high school. What happens when Katie returns home for Christmas holiday (possibly for good)?

**Note**: This is a complete repost of this story. It's actually about 3 years old and has been up here for that long. I just decided to start it back, so therefore I'm starting from the beginning.

**Chicago Is So Two Years Ago**

It had been a year since Katie and Jessie broke up; a year of what Katie thought were going to be 'bigger and better things.' In reality, it was just college, and college and Katie Singer didn't mesh very well. Katie didn't have the attention span to deal with the monotone professors and intellectual nonsense for such an extended period of time – and for Katie – an extended period of time was anything over forty-five minutes.

45 minutes was exactly how far away she was from Jessie at this point. Jessie was in the middle of her senior year at Upton Sinclair and Katie was fighting through her freshmen year at The University of Illinois at Chicago. Though Katie always felt like she belonged in Chicago, she wasn't sure she'd be returning after Christmas holiday. Truthfully, she didn't think she was cut out for college and she desperately wanted to try to mend things with Jessie. Still, she knew it would be a major feat, which would deserve many Oscar nominations if she actually succeeded, to even get Jessie to look in her general direction.

The downfall of their relationship started when Katie got into both UIC and Northeastern Illinois University in the fall of her senior year. Katie knew how Jessie felt about things; Jessie preferred Katie to go to Northeastern, because it was only 20 minutes away and it was close to her dad's job – so she could visit more often. Katie however, ignored Jessie's wishes and chose to attend The University of Illinois at Chicago with Tad, which was 45 minutes away from Deerfield. This upset Jessie, which in turn, made the two slowly drift apart. When Jessie refused to attend Katie's graduation ceremony she knew that whatever they had was over. She was heartbroken, but she was also determined, now more than ever, to make college work.

Once she got there and Tad dumped her for his guy friends, leaving her to fend for herself in a brand new environment, she suddenly wasn't so sure. Her studies weren't going well and Jessie was the only thing on her mind anymore. She called Jessie multiple times when she got to campus and she continued until Jessie's voicemail changed, telling her, not to call again because she 'really didn't feel like having to deal with the hassle of changing her phone number.' Katie never called after that. She knew she hurt Jessie, that she said some horrible things during their many fights, but what tore them apart in the end was Katie telling Jessie that she was dared to date her. It was a lie, but it would suffice to cause enough pain. Still, Jessie didn't let up, and managed to get the last word. Or, more specifically, three words. I Hate You.

Katie replayed those finals moments in her head over and over again; during class, while she was studying, and as she dreamed every single night. She watched each little black "x" knock off the days on her calendar until winter holiday and when she got in her car to drive back to Deerfield, she wasn't entirely sure if she'd see that dormitory again, at least not as a student at UIC.

She blasted the radio on the way home from Chicago; the whole 45-minute drive had her mind running. She was trying to formulate a plan on how she'd even get close enough to Jessie to speak to her. She knew Upton Sinclair was out for break, she knew Grace was away at college, and she knew that there was only one way to be sure and talk to Jessie. She had to approach from a new angle, and angle called Karen. Karen had always been fond of Katie and she had talked Jessie into forgiving Katie many times. She decided at that point that she was her only shot.

Katie was sitting in her old bedroom, freshly home from college for winter break. Her brothers were watching a basketball game on television and her mother was, well, she was pretty sure she was alive. Though not completely, cause she didn't really move much. Her father said she had switched medication and actually walked downstairs for about 30 minutes a week ago, but since then, she's been in bed. It saddened Katie to see her mother this way, but there was little she could do. Her mother didn't listen either and Katie was, at one time, quite sure she was deaf. So Katie closed herself up in her old room, sitting down at her desk and flipping on her computer. She logged on to AOL to check her email, Tad said he'd email her when he got into town so they could hang out, and she was happy when she heard the familiar "You've Got Mail," that is, until she saw who that email was from; Jessie.

The email read:

_Katie, I cannot keep living like this, I just can't. Your sweater, necklace, and blouse are still sitting in my closet and I can't seem to escape them. I know you'll be home for break, just email me back on a time you can come by and get them. If it's not soon, I will be tempted to burn them._

_Goodbye, _

_Jessie_

Katie couldn't help but smile; no matter how mad at Katie she was, she still had a little humor left. She began to type a reply, but as she began, an instant message popped up. _LadyBillieDay_, it was definitely Jessie. She accepted the instant message and read it.

"Are you home? Cause you really need to come claim your things." Katie typed slowly.

"Are you going to be there if I come now?" she entered and waited patiently.

"Unfortunately, but I will probably just leave them outside the front door." Katie's smile dropped.

"But it's snowing…" she entered.

"Yeah, well, that's unfortunate also. Just come by and get them, they'll be waiting." Tired of Jessie's antics, she replied with

"Jessie, look, we need to talk. We have to." Jessie simply retorted with;

"No we don't. I'll expect them gone within the next 20 minutes or I will burn them," and with that, she signed off. Katie had never witnessed such coldness from Jessie. She was a completely different person. Katie knew that she had to get her things though; there was no way she'd let Jessie burn them, even if it was snowing out.

She drove up to the house and parked her car out front. She noticed a box sitting on the front porch and decided it was probably for her. She got out of the car, the heavy snow pelting her, and walked up the stairs to the front door. She picked up the box, that read "Katie" and took it back to her car. She placed it in the back seat and got back into the car, staring at the house for a long minute before starting the engine and pulling away.

She wasn't going to force Jessie to talk to her; she knew it'd only make things worse. When she got home she took the box to her room and opened it. On top of everything sat a folded piece of paper. Katie unfolded it and read it slowly to herself.

_Katie, I put my heart out to you, wore it on my sleeve, and you did nothing but take it and stomp on it a few good times. I cannot fathom why I actually believe you when all you told me was lies. You didn't love me Katie Singer; you only love yourself. I knew I was right about you from the start; you've got too big of an ego to ever treat someone right. So I wish you well, in the future, because you're going to need it. I'm just glad I saved myself before you caused any more damage._

Katie balled up the letter and threw it across the room, her body shaking with anger, as the tears began to fall. She curled up on the bed; her head buried in her pillow and let the sobs take over her body.


	2. Chapter 2

Small personal note: join jessiekatie(dot)proboards84(dot)com :)

Chapter 2

She didn't know if Katie had seen her or not, the snow was falling pretty hard, and she was trying to be discrete. She stood at the window in the attic, peering through the curtains as Katie's car pulled up. She watched her jump out; clad in jeans, a coat, scarf, and hat; and run to the front door. Her heart skipped a quick beat when she saw the brunette, who looked just as beautiful, if not more, than when she last saw her. Jessie was tempted to just run down there and fling the front door open, pull Katie inside, and tell her that she was sorry. However, Jessie wasn't one to admit her faults, and apologizing would be doing that. Instead, she stood at the window and watched as Katie placed the box in her car, got in, and sat there for a long second before pulling away.

Jessie kept the thoughts of the pain she felt Katie caused her in the front of her mind to block out the ache of her heart. She knew Katie lied about the whole dare, but she still didn't want to admit that she pushed Katie away. She could have dealt with Katie being 45 minutes away, it wasn't that big of a deal. She just wanted things her way, but it was Katie's life, and it was Katie's decision – not hers. At the same time, Katie hurt her. She hurt her by not taking into consideration that their relationship could have lasted past graduation; that they could still be together. That was Katie though, not thinking into the future, but living in the moment.

She thought about what Katie had said as she sat down on her bed. Why didn't she at least let her talk, explain herself, try to at least calm the storm that was brewing between them? Too many unanswered questions had been running through her head lately, the "what ifs." She was quite sick of them really, tired of wondering how things would have turned out. She could give Katie a chance, though, couldn't she?

She turned on the computer and looked at her buddy list, Katie's screen name blocked. Maybe if she just unblocked her, maybe Katie would put forth the effort to IM her. After all, if Katie truly wanted to fix things, she'd try to get in contact with Jessie the best way she could. At least, that's how Jessie saw it. She right clicked on Katie's screen name and unblocked it, watching the name switch from offline to online. She backed away and left it running, expecting nothing, and something at the same time. She did notice one thing as she stared at the computer screen, a little picture of mail in the top right corner which meant she had email. She must have been too preoccupied in her thoughts to hear the notification; either that or her speakers were off. She wasn't sure who the email was from, but in the pit of her stomach, she thought of the possibility it was from Katie. That she had read the note and retorted with some huge blowout. She didn't want to pack the letter in the first place, but thought it would have given her a little more closure than it actually did. She had re-written it so many times, knowing Katie would be home for break, and finally settled with the feelings she expressed on the final note.

She reached forward and clicked on the letter, her mailbox slowly opened to reveal the new email. She looked at her inbox only to find another spam mail from some holiday rip-off website. She sighed a heavy sigh as she trashed it. She couldn't help but be disappointed – because deep down she really did wish it was Katie.

--

Katie lifted her head from the pillow when she heard the familiar sound of a door opening from the computer speakers. She saw Jessie had logged on and slowly rose from the bed. She had to at least try to talk to her, explain, and how better to do it then with an instant message? She ran her fingers under her eyes, drying her cheeks, and gaining the composure to start typing. She brought up the window and began the long process of sharing her thoughts. It never really worked out before, she'd shut people out before opening up, she did it with Jessie, but she also did it with everyone else. She could hear her dad and brother's screaming at the television downstairs as she slowly began to type.

She'd get a couple of words written and hit the backspace, not being able to find the exact words she was looking for. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea…" She thought to herself, sitting back in the chair. Finally, she leaned forward and typed quickly, not giving a second thought to hitting enter.

"Jess, can you give me a chance to tell my side of the story?" She waited patiently for a reply. The bottom corner of the window read _ladybillieday is typing a response._

"Go ahead." The words popped up on the screen and Katie could help but smile for a second, happy that she could at least explain herself.

"First of all, I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that before you'll believe me, and you may never. I think that we both have a lot of explaining to do, we both made mistakes, and we both said things we shouldn't have. I did what I had to do for myself, I didn't do it just for Tad, so I wish you'd quit thinking that. I wanted to go to this school because it's something that I've secretly dreamed of for years. As for the things I said, yes they were lies; I only said them to hurt you because you hurt me! I did it because I was vengeful. I wanted to be with you Jessie, I truly did, and quite frankly it sucks that we fell apart so fast and when you refused to come to graduation for me (even though you had to for Grace) it was the last straw. I couldn't keep trying; I had given up hope on us ever being together the way we were for so long. I guess every good thing comes to an end, but I thought we'd broken that cliché. I thought we were different. I did love you Jessie – and truthfully - I still do. I'm pretty sure I always will. I just thought we'd at least end things on good terms and still be friends. I care so much about you, and even if you've hurt me, I still want what's best for you." She sat back for a second and pondered hitting enter before she pressed her finger to the key and watched it send.

--

Jessie stared at the computer screen, reading each word carefully, a single tear falling down her cheek.

"Come over, we need to talk face to face." She hit enter and watched the words emerge on the screen.

"I'll be right over."


	3. Chapter 3

She found herself in the car again, never mentioning to her father where she was going, not that he actually noticed

She found herself in the car again, never mentioning to her father where she was going, not that he actually noticed. Even dressing up as a giant football wouldn't catch his attention at this point, so she just slipped out of the house and back into the snow quietly. She didn't know why she was crawling back to Jessie like she was, but she knew she wanted to give this whole thing another chance. She wanted Jessie to know how much she cared about her, really know, and talking to her would hopefully prove that. She started the engine and pulled out of the driveway, her mind racing with thoughts. As she pulled up in front of Jessie's house, she felt her heart begin to beat faster and her mouth seemed to get dryer by the second. She pulled down the visor and checked her makeup, making sure she looked ok to be seen by Jessie. Getting out of the car, she took a final deep breath, marched up to the door, and rang the doorbell.

--

Jessie was standing in the bathroom, running her fingers through her hair when she heard the doorbell. The rest of the house was empty except for Zoey, who was blasting her stereo from her own bedroom. "It's now or never." Jessie thought to herself as she exited the bathroom and walked downstairs to the door. She took a deep breath as her hand wrapped around the knob, twisted it, and pulled the door open. There Katie stood, a shy half smile across her face, her hat in her hands, looking rather nervous. Jessie thought she probably looked just as nervous.

"Hi Jess…" Katie spoke first, shifting on her feet. Jessie consciously knew she had to reply, but was too preoccupied at admiring the brunette's features. Snapping out of it, Jessie gave a small smile.

"Hey Katie." She stepped aside. "Come on in." Katie took a step into the house and Jessie closed the door behind her. They both stood awkwardly in the entryway, their feet seeming extremely appealing compared to each other. "Can I get you a cup of coffee or something?" Jessie stammered, looking up at Katie.

"Yeah, coffee would be great." Katie followed her into the kitchen, where she poured two cups of coffee with shaky hands. Katie took a seat at the table as Jessie handed her the warm mug, sitting down across from her with her own. Katie took a long sip from her mug before putting it down and looking Jessie in the eyes. Nearly choking on her coffee, Jessie swallowed thickly, swearing Katie could see right into her soul with that piercing stare. "I really am sorry." Katie said softly, looking away and out the nearest window. Jessie couldn't form words at this point, so she just slowly nodded in understanding. "I do care a lot about you Jessie and this last year has probably been the hardest year of my life because you haven't been around." Jessie watched Katie's hands search for some place to rest, finally fitting around the coffee cup. "You're the only one who ever got me, Jess."

"What about Tad?" She knew she was thinking it, but hearing her own voice say it surprised her.

"Tad is a great friend, but he never understood me Jessie, Tad's just not deep enough for such things." She watched as Katie took another long sip of the coffee. Her head and her heart were sparring at this point, unsure of how she should react.

"I care about you too." She finally sighed. "I can't keep acting like I don't any longer." She pushed the coffee aside, she didn't even like coffee. "I'm tired of lying to myself and everyone else. You still mean a lot to me Katie." She watched as Katie's face scrunched up as she contemplated the statement, it was only a second, before her shoulders fell into a more relaxed position.

"Can we just… try to work this all out?" Her heart jumped when she heard those words from Katie.

"I think I'd like that." She smiled at the brunette, who returned the smile, and placed her own hand over Jessie's.


End file.

Once and Again, Drama, Romance