Final Fantasy VII Lavander School

"You have to be kidding me

**Intoduction**

"You have to be kidding me!" Cried Yuffie with disgust, "you expect me to go to school far away!?"

"Yuffie, Wutai is at war. You know you can't fight like your brother yet. I'm sure you will have fun!" Said Wei.

"Just think, all the cheer leaders can make fun of you for being flatchested" Snickered Yukito.

"Dad are you going to let him get away with that!?"

"It's final you leave in the morning!"

So that's how it began. Sometimes parents are just… I can't even put it into words. You try so hard to please them and what do you get? Oh Yuffie, you aren't strong enough so you have to go away? Wutai is my home! I'm afraid…

First I had to take a helicopter out of the country. Then I took a bus to get on another bus! I noticed something. Everyone was staring. "Whose the new kid" Someone whispered. "Whoever she is she has an awful taste in cloth" Was the reply. "Can I sit here?" I asked a lonely looking girl.

"Alright, My name is Natsu."

"I'm Yuffie!" I quickly replied.

This girl seems decent. Do you think that I might have made my first friend? On the way up there we talked about girl stuff. For example some boys…

"Those boys back in those seats," I said, "they are really cute."

"Don't give your hopes up."

"Why not?"

Wow they were good looking!

"Lets see, one they are asswholes and then two they are gay."

I wasn't expecting that at all. The way they are looking into each other's eyes though…I am stupid. Oh! The one saw me! I turned around quickly to see Natsu reading a book.

"Natsu, what are their names?"

Natsu looked up. "Well the blonde is Cloud…the redhead, let's see. It's on the tip of my tongue! Oh Reno!"

**Chapter One: Truth or…Sex?**

I got off the bus and walked over to a teacher along with my peers. "Hello, for those of you who don't know, my name is Quistis Trepe. I will be giving you the keys to your rooms and telling you your partners. You will all be placed in Wing C. As you know this school has some science courses but is primarily for the study of battle. Before we begin, do you have any requests for your roommate?"

Reno winked at Quistis. "I wouldn't mind being with Cloud here!"

Quistis blushed. "I'm sure…sure that can be arranged."

Natsu spoke up, "Can I be with Yuffie?"

"Yuffie, you're new, right? Be sure to come with me if you need any help around here. Natsu be sure to help her out."

"Don't worry, I will."

As soon as we got our key we went off to find our room. It was very…different. Ok, different isn't even the right word. It was tiny! I'm glad I just brought cloth. We were told not even to bring the weapons we were training with, that they would "fit" us when class started. Class starts in two days. I'm not even sure what I should do until it does, two days is a short period of time but face it, I don't know these people!

"Yuffie, you didn't come two months ago for the tour right? Let's go socialize in the cafeteria. Who knows, maybe Cloud and Reno will be there!" Natsu was trying to hold in her laughter.

Note to self, talking about cute boys could be very bad around the wrong people.

As we walked out of our rooms, Quistis ran up to us.

"Here, put on these nametags!"

As soon as we took them from her she went running off to the next person. I sort of feel bad for her, I mean she is all over the place!

"These look so stupid." I muttered.

"Be glad you only have flowers on yours."

"So does yours."

"Yes, but she managed to spell my name wrong."

Walking seems to be taking forever. Come on Natsu say something. Please. Oh no, boy filled thoughts are coming in. It seems like only a second later after those thoughts we were there.

"Ok let's go meet and greet!" Natsu said excitably.

"Can we start with Cloud and Reno?"

"Sure but be prepared for Reno's big mouth. Oh in advance, Cloud isn't emo."

"I'll keep that in mind…" I said as we walked over to where Natsu said she saw them.

"Natsu, whose the new girl!?"

Without thinking I put out my hand. "I'm Yuffie, nice to meet yo-"

Reno just spat on my hand. Oh my God. I didn't think like he looked like one for formalities but this? Why don't they just mark dipshit on my forehead.

"A word of advice, never do that here. People aren't the fondest of preps and then others would think you just want to sleep with me."

"Does that go for Cloud to?"

"Natsu, were you talking about us? Yes, it does." Said Cloud as he put his arm around Reno.

"Now you know a little about the pecking order here." Reno stated with a grin.

"Reno let's go back to our room."

"Yes, captain." Reno muttered with sarcasm but followed Cloud anyways.

"Natsu, you're back!"

"Selphie! I need you to meet Yuffie." Said Natsu looking off towards me.

"I'm going to be having a slumber party tonight! Natsu , Yuffie, you have to come!"

"Alright, what's the room number you have?"

As soon has Selphie said room 8C she went running off to another girl. I'm trying to figure out how she is planning on fitting so many girls into a dorm room. Should I even go? I've never even been to a slumber party, but my share of movies have told me that girls are crazy at these things. I know I'll make an excuse without lying!

"Natsu, I don't think I can go, I don't have a sleeping bag."

"Selphie is getting them from the emergency survival class for us to use."

"What if the people don't like me?"

"Yuffie, as long as you don't absolutely refuse a dare, you will be fine."

"You have me there, wait a minute, Truth or Dare!?"

I am terrified. When I was little one time my brother and his friends were playing truth or dare. I loved to play games, so I asked if I could play. His friends seemed against it, but my brother assured them that the would enjoy it. After I caught onto the game, Yukito asked me truth or dare. The cool kids seemed to all be picking dare so I just shouted out, "Dare!"

"Alright Yuffie…guys huddle!"

All of a sudden they all formed a cicle of to my side and were whispering. Maybe I am getting something super fun!

"Alright, we all agree!"

One of his friends brought in the dog, Lester.

They all just sat down, and stared at him.

"What are you waiting for, guys?"

"We have to wait for the dog to do something before you can do the dare." Yukito looked like he was expecting something amazing.

Five minutes, nothing. Fifteen minutes, again nothing.

"Let's just pick something different." Said one of my brother's friends.

"I think it will happen soon. Yuffie let's go outside for a walk. I'll race you!"

It was strange how playful he was acting. I was just running, laughing, not really caring what we were doing. I just felt so happy because of the way he was acting. Then all of a sudden his cell phone rang. Whenever someone is calling, it plays "I Touch Myself", which, today, makes me laugh thinking about it.

He answered. "All right, I will bring her. Yuffie it's amazing, when we were gone the chocolate fairy came! She left you something!"

I started running to the house as soon as he got done telling me about this miracle. I fucking love chocolate. As soon as I walk in, I am handed a bowl of ice cream that has sprinkles…and chocolate! Oh, and a spoon.

"She wanted you to have this!" Someone shouted.

I started digging in and when I was done everyone shouted out in unison, "You ate dog crap!"

Maybe that experience is why I don't want to go. It was very horrible, I was crying and dad didn't even do anything about it. Another bad thing is Natsu knows I don't want to go. That is why she hasn't been letting me out of her sight for the rest of the day.

"Natsu, I'm going to go get a soda!"

"Oh, I'll come with you."

Damn her.

"Come on, it's time for us to go!" Natsu was starting to sound annoyed.

"What if they don't like me?"

"Everyone should get along; Selphie is only inviting people from the C wing to try to prevent conflict."

There was no way I could stop her. In the end she had her way and we walked down the hallway in silence. What if I have to eat dog crap? Oh wait pets aren't allowed in school…what if I have to eat zaghnol crap!?

Natsu knocks on the door and another girl I've never met before answers it. Natsu and the girl hugged each other like they have been friends forever.

"Tifa! Who else do you have hiding in there?" Asked Natsu trying to see through the doorway.

"Come in and see! Oh, you have a friend, come and introduce her to everyone else."

I hated the way she said that. Everyone else? How many people is Selphie keeping in that room?

Selphie along with three other girls were in the room.

"Oh you're here! Exclaimed Selphie. "Tifa was the one who answered the door. This is Lulu, Yuna, and over here is Terra."

"This is everyone who is coming?" I asked.

Terra answered, "Correct."

The girls actually didn't seem that bad. Sure Terra seemed a little like a know it all and Lula never lets go of a small moogle plush. Yuna seems perfectly normal at least.

Suddenly Selphie yelled let's play truth or dare. Natsu seemed excited to play. Traitor.

"All right girls," Said Selphie, "put your hands together. Ok say I promise to say the truth if I pick it no matter how horrible and do any dare I am given and so help me if I refuse, to be the butt of jokes and a laughing stock for the rest of my awkward life."

I'll be eating crap for sure. Why did I just do that dumb little pact? I'm screwed over both ways. I can see it all over again me thinking the chocolate fairy came, eating it so happily…no it can't be that bad. Then we all sat down in a circle.

"Alright I'll start us off! Terra truth or dare?" Said Selphie excitably.

Terra thought about it for a moment. "I think I'll go with truth." She nervously said biting her lower lip.

They make this sound like its very serious business.

"Alright, if you could have sex with anyone in the school who would it be?"

"Lulu." She replied glumly.

All of a sudden Lulu let out a fire spell.

"You no good-!"

Tifa and Yuna both grabbed Lulu and forced her into the back of the room. Then Selphie told Terra she should go outside for a bit till Lulu calms down. After she left, Lulu said she was fine and that we could all continue playing.

We formed our circle again, without saying it we knew it would be best to let Terra sulk in the hallway for fear of another incident.

"Ok…" Selphie muttered, "maybe someone else should ask now."

Yuna then asked, "Truth or dare, Yuffie?"

Ok after seeing the results of the truth I think I better go with dare. Maybe then I will get some respect. "Dare!" I proudly proclaimed.

"Let's see. Cloud and Reno shouldn't be in the room they were assigned to right now. Simply go in and bring back an item proving you were there."

Reno already is sending the vibes of he doesn't like me. Plus they both are very cute…should I do this? I thought of the promise we all made and decided that these girls could hold my future in their hands so I don't have a choice.

As I got up to leave, Natsu shot me a look that said I envy you. Maybe this could be my revenge on her for making me come.

"What's the room number?" I asked well getting up.

"4C." Stated Yuna.

"Alright. I'll be back shortly."

I left the room and winked at everyone as I left. Then I remembered Terra. She was sitting close to the door.

"Is Lulu ok?" Terra asked.

"Yes, but I don't think you should go in there for awhile yet incase. I have to go do my dare. Maybe you can come in when I come back."

"Alright."

I walked towards the door and put my ear on the cold wood. I couldn't hear any sounds inside. I turned the doorknob and walked in.

"They left the lights on."

You know you are worried when you begin talking to yourself. I'm just glad I didn't start answering back, then I would be really worried!

I began my search for something they wouldn't miss. We've been here for a whole day and this place is already a mess. Everything seems to be something they'd notice so I open the closet and get on my knees to look through the pile of cloth.

"Cloud ,dammit, hurry I can't wait much longer!"

I think my heart just skipped a beat. They aren't suppose to be here! I have to get out but they are so close I don't want to be seen! I don't even have an item yet.

Quickly I close myself into the closet. I can see everything out there, but I don't think they can see in. One advantage. I see them come racing in and Reno tackles Cloud onto a bed.

"That took you to long," He grinned.

Reno began pulling off Cloud's shirt. Damn he has some muscle!

**8C**

Natsu said, "I'm getting worried."

"She will be fine!" Stated Selphie like she knew everything.

"It's been close to an hour. We have Terra back but no Yuffie!"

Terra looked up sheepishly.

"Whatever," said Yuna, "we give her fifteen more minutes"

**4C**

By then I have seen a very good show. Porn live. I picked out a materia to take with me. I was ready to leave as soon as they left.

"I'm not done with you yet," said Reno walking towards the closet, Just let me get my-"

"Um, hello. Oh there is that contact lens!"

I tried to run out but a naked Cloud was already standing in front of the door.

"What were you doing in here?" Cloud demanded.

So of course I told them about the dare, and how I only picked dare because of what happen to Terra, and then the poop story."

A naked Reno was literally rolling around on the bed laughing at me. Cloud just had this serious expression.

"So you actually ate, oh my God!"

Reno hugged me and then he called Cloud over to do the same. I wonder if I was more confused on why they were hugging me or if I was happier two naked sex icons were hugging me.

"You can keep the materia." Said Cloud.

"Even though you won't need it since you could just tell them the story of what happened." Reno laughed.

Suddenly Reno said, "You can _cum _watch anytime." And began laughing again.

It scary how watching two people have sex and then telling them stories can bring you all together. I think I can add them to my friend list! I know Cloud and Reno seem to like me anyways.

When I got back to the room I had to tell everyone what happened. Terra didn't believe me but everyone else was amazed. And Natsu was jealous.

After my story a knock was heard at the door. I got up to answer it and saw Cloud and Reno outside with two sleeping bags.

"I hope you don't mind us," Said Cloud, "But could we join you?"

I pulled them in and we all got ready to sleep.

And with me I slept between Cloud and Reno and even Natsu was at my feet. My friends…


End file.

Final Fantasy VII, Fantasy, Humor