Naruto 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, Don't own 4ever that's the Veronica's, Don't own Holiday, that's Green Days, Don't own Not Ready to Make Nice, That's the Dixie chick's, don't own Ridin, that's Chamillionaire and Kraizy Bones, Don't only The Anthem, that's Good Charlottes, don't own Prelude ½ That's AFIs.

note: i am ignoring all Canon.

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Chapter one: A life that would have been.

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The day after Kyuubi attacked, two people disappeared. One was Uchiha Itachi, and the other caused some concern. Uzumaki Naruto. The Kyuubi Container. Saurotobi was extremely worried; did some hidden sound Nin take Naruto? Suddenly, Hatake Kakashi one of the Anbu came in, holding a piece of rice paper. "Hokage-sama, I found this on the ground near the exit to the village." He stated, handing the paper to him. Saurotobi took the paper and read it out loud, 

"**_To Whom It May Concern, I am taking Itachi and Naruto away from here. If they stayed, both would have a horrid life ahead of them. Do not worry, they will be trained, and will be safe. One of the reasons I'm doing this because little known to you Shinobi, Arashi is my cousin. We were very close growing up, but I had to leave to save a country. If you have ever need to contact me, just call out the name Phoenix. By the way, they will be trained, and they will know everything. Signed, Mira Sparrow." _**Saurotobi fell back into his seat, in shock. Arashi…was related to the Sparrow clan. Holy shit. "Hokage…does this mean…?" Kakashi whispered his one visible eye wide. He nodded, sighing. "Naruto and Itachi will have the best Teacher around, but still..." Saurotobi began, before yelling, "PHOENIX!" There was a humongous flash of violet light, and a beautiful yet deadly looking woman stood before them. She had waist length phoenix red hair, glinting violet eyes, a perfect figure, and honey colored skin. She wore an ankle length grey silk dress, and grey leather steelitto boots

"WHAT. THE.FUCK.DID.YOU.CALL.ME.FOR." She roared, in a deadly yet beautiful voice. Both Hokage and Anbu cringed, for they saw an eerie resemblance to Anko the psychotic Shinobi. "I…ano… just wanted to meet you…?" Saurotobi stuttered, and the woman glared, crossing her arms. "You're lucky I put the kids to bed. Don't contact me unless it's an emergency!" She yelled, disappearing. Hokage and Kakashi shivered, fearing what the two more powerful children were to be like when they came back.

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REVIEW OR I SEND MIRA AFTER J00.

flames will be used to burn off Rock Lee's hair.


	2. Chapter 2: BACK IN DA MAC wtf that means

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, Don't own 4ever that's the Veronica's, Don't own Holiday, that's Green Days, Don't own Not Ready to Make Nice, That's the Dixie chick's, don't own Ridin, that's Chamillionaire and Kraizy Bones, Don't only The Anthem, that's Good Charlottes, don't own Prelude ½ That's AFI's, don't own Soundtrack to Your Life, that's Ashley Parker Angel's, I don't own A little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me, that's Fall Out Boy's, don't own The Warriors code, that's Dropkick Murphys. Don't own Are we the Waiting, that's Green Day's. Don't own anything you recognize. Don't own Me against the World that's Simple Plans.

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15 years later….

"WHAT THE FUCK NARUTO?" Came a yell, and all the villagers froze, the yell had come from behind the gates to the village. "WHAA GET OFF THAT WAS ITACHI NOT ME!" came an equally loud protest, and there was a bellow of, "TRAITOR! GAAA GET OFF ME MIRA-SAN!" There was a cackling laugh that made several people shiver. By now, the Hokage, Team 7, and the rest of the Uchiha clan, with hopeful looks. "ITACHI EAT THE DAMN COCKROACH!" Came a hollered command, and the gate exploded.

Three figures were visible through the dust and debris. One was on the ground, laughing hysterically; one was running in circles with the other on its back, arms flailing comically. "NUUUU NEVA GET OFF ME ANYTHING BUT THE FUCKING COCKROACH!" The figure running in circles wailed, and the other figure got off, and everyone could sense it was grinning evilly. "O RLY? Well then sing The Anthem along with Naruto! Cuz I know you both planned this!" She ordered, and the figure on the ground froze, groaned, and stood next to the other one. "_It's a new day  
But it all feels old,  
It's a good life,  
That's what I'm told,  
But everything, it all just feels the same...  
And my high school  
It felt more to me  
Like a jail cell,  
A penitentiary  
My time spent there, it only made me see  
That I don't ever wanna be like you  
I don't wanna do the things you do  
I'm never gonna hear the words you say  
And I don't ever wanna,  
I don't ever wanna be  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What I'm sayin' is  
This is the anthem  
Throw all your hands up  
You..  
Don't wanna be you…" _The taller figure sang, and the shorter began, soon joined by his companion. "_"Go to college,  
A university  
Get a real job"  
That's what they said to me  
But I could never live the way they want  
I'm gonna get by  
And just do my time  
Out of step while  
They all get in line  
I'm just a Minor Threat so pay no mind  
Do you really wanna be like them?  
Do you really wanna be another trend?  
Do you wanna be part of that crowd?  
Cause I don't ever wanna  
I don't ever wanna be  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What I'm sayin' is  
This is the anthem  
Throw all your hands up  
You  
Don't wanna be you  
Shake it once, that's fine  
Shake it twice, that's okay  
Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself again  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What I'm sayin' is  
This is the anthem  
Throw all your hands up  
Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you (just like you)  
This is the anthem  
Throw all your hands up  
Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me  
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)  
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)  
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)  
Another loser anthem...!" _The two finished, and the debris cleared, and many gasped. Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Itachi stood there, glaring at the most beautiful woman to ever grace the village.

Naruto had long shoulder length bright yellow hair, and amazingly blue eyes. He wore a red leather trench coat, a sky blue shirt, and black leather pants. He wore black tip less leather gloves, and black steel toed combat boots. Itachi himself looked similar, but there were differences. He had waist length midnight black hair, bright red sharigan eyes, and pale almost elfin skin. He wore a black leather trench coat, a blood red muscle shirt, and black leather pants. He wore black tip less gloves, and the same combat boots as Naruto. But they both had black hitai-ates, with a strange symbol on them. The symbol was similar to a triangle, only there were three orbs. One was grey, one was white, and one was black. They were connected, and all held a small letter beneath them. The three letters were IMN, and many wondered what that meant.

The beautiful woman noticed the audience, and smirked, insanity just oozing out of her eyes. "Oh Ickle Itachi and Naruto, look behind you!" She sang in a sing song tone, and the two did. They both stared. "Those are supposed to be my family?" Itachi managed, staring at the Uchihas. The woman only nodded, grinning like no tomorrow. Naruto only turned to face her, "Miiiiirrraaaa, can't we go back to - I mean HQ?" He whined, pouting soulfully.

"Nope. You guys gotta stay here, but I'm gonna be here with ya! Neil and Ian can hold up the fort at home, with the other demons and people." Mira chirped, laughing when several of the villagers developed looks of fear. "Oh all right, but do we have to be on a team with one of the Shinobi…" Itachi consented, giving Mira a pleading look. She sighed, and both boys cheered, giving each other high fives. "SW33T! Who are you gonna bring from home?" Naruto asked, bouncing on the balls of his heels. "I'm gonna bring someone you two are gonna just spaz happily about to see. In fact, he's here right now!" She sang, and the two looked eagerly toward the gate. "_If you can hear me  
And know that I'm right here  
I heard your heartbeat  
It took away the fear  
Cuz my life is sliding  
I tried to ride the wave  
It came down crashing, it's time to start again  
Backwards to go forward  
Left at every corner  
Been there and back again  
And when the music ends  
Your life is a flashback  
A question, a photograph  
A statement, a story, a struggle  
A chance to laugh  
Cuz if you don't laugh you cry  
A last crescendo when you die  
So hit the rewind and listen  
It's the playback  
The soundtrack to your life  
First step, your last breath  
Everything's been planned  
There's questions, and answers  
You'll never understand  
I hold on, but let go  
I give you room to breath  
Remember, the best things  
Were never mine to keep  
Starting at the ending  
It won't break, while your bending  
Been there, and back again  
And when the music ends  
Your life is a flashback  
A question, a photograph  
A statement, a story, a struggle  
A chance to laugh  
Cuz if you don't laugh you cry  
A last crescendo when you die  
So hit the rewind and listen  
It's the playback  
The soundtrack to your life  
The soundtrack to your life  
And it goes by like a bullet, and my name  
It may be different than yours but, you got the same  
Beat a broken back for more  
I'll be dragging my own ass off the floor  
I've thrown my self right in and,  
What's the point if you don't live in  
If you can hear me  
And know that I'm right here  
I heard your heartbeat  
It took away the fear  
Your life is a flashback  
A question, a photograph  
A statement, a story, a struggle  
A chance to laugh  
Cuz if you don't laugh you cry  
A last crescendo when you die  
So hit the rewind and listen  
It's the playback  
The soundtrack to your life…" _Someone sang, and the two boys let out whoops of joy. A tall boy hopped into view, grinning like a maniac. He had long midnight black hair in a ponytail, bright scarlet eyes, and tan skin. He looked a bit like Itachi but his eyes weren't sharigan. He wore a bright scarlet right silk shirt, and black silk pants. He wore a black three cornered hat on his head and a blood right sash around his waist. Also attached to his hip were a pistol and a katana. In all, he looked like a Japanese pirate. "CROW! YOU SONOVABITCH GET YER ASS OVER HERE!" Itachi and Naruto roared, grinning wildly. The boy Crow obliged, and they all hugged manly, laughing. "Where the hell have ya been man?" Itachi asked, slapping Crow on the back, and he laughed. "Well, what do ye think I've been doin, I've been piratin' mate!" He replied in an almost drunken slur, swaggering drunkenly over to Mira.

"But this here bonny lass dragged me away, savvy?" He ended, swinging an arm around Mira's shoulders. Mira decked him, making both Itachi and Naruto laugh hysterically. "Hands off Crow!" She roared, and he nodded, before swaggering back to his friends. "Miss Sparrow?" came the Hokage's voice, and she whipped around, glaring ferociously. "WHAT UNCLE FUCKER?" She roared, making the remaining villagers cringe. Most of them had gone off, and the only ones who remained were the Hokage, Anko, Iruka, Kakashi, The entire Uchiha clan, and Team 7.

"Where will you and your team be staying?" He asked timidly, and she gave him an intense stare. "We'll be staying in Naruto's family estate, the Kazuma mansion." She growled, and everyone except Anko and the Hokage gasped, Naruto was a Kazuma? "Itachi will be coming home to stay with us." Said the Uchiha clan leader, Itachi's father. Mira only laughed, "Um, how bout fuck no bitch! Itachi is staying with Naruto! You bastards probably only want to copy the skills he learned!" Itachi's father glared, and opened his mouth, but was cut off by a back lash of killer intent coming from Mira. The amount was practically IMPOSSIBLE for a human being to have! "C'mon dudes, let's go to the mansion." Crow suggested, and the four disappeared in a flash of violet light.

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Team 7, which consisted of Sakura, Kiba, and Sasuke, were training at the forest ground when they heard the tell tale arrival of the new team. The newcomers called themselves team 14, which confused the hell out of a lotta people. Sasuke was pissed, because all along he had had an older brother, and his family never told him. Sakura was wondering what the new team was like, and Kiba was playing with Akamaru.

Itachi was the first to come into sight; he wore the same outfit from yesterday. He swaggered over to them, smiling cheerfully. "Heya peeps." He greeted, grinning at Sasuke. Sasuke only stared stonily at him. "So yer supposed to be my lil bro huh? Geez, you look like you need to get laid big time!" Itachi mused; ignoring Sasuke's freaked out expression.

"ITACHI QUIT TRYING TO PLAY MATCH MAKER!" came an annoyed yell, as Itachi was tackled by Naruto. "Neener Neener Neener!" Naruto jeered, jumping off Itachi and bouncing about in a taunting way. Itachi jumped up, and started to chase Naruto around the clearing, ignoring the sweat dropping Team 7, and the recently appeared Kakashi. Crow and Mira came out of the woods, laughing like maniacs. "All right you two, quit flirting!" Mira ordered, and all three guys came to stand in front of her.

"Crow, practice your katas, Itachi and Naruto, you two spar. Make sure you use your special abilities too." She ordered, and the boys went to the training ring. Crow took out his Katana, and to the amazement of Team 7, he started to practice a kata that even Kakashi didn't know. Itachi and Naruto shrugged off their trench coats, and got into tajitsu stances. Suddenly, Naruto threw his hands back, and a large ball of red light appeared in them. He pushed his hands forward, and the ball of light became a beam, shooting straight for Itachi's heart. Itachi only grinned, and yelled "Heart Shield!" A huge red light flashed, and Naruto's beam hit a swirling black and purple shield. "You two, feel free to sing while training." Mira added, while trying to balance a twig on her nose. "_We're not gonna be  
Just apart of their game  
We're not gonna be  
Just the victims  
They're taking our dreams  
And they tear them apart  
Til everyone's the same  
I've got no place to go  
I've got no where to run  
They love to watch me fall  
They think they know it all  
I'm a nightmare, a disaster  
That's what they always say  
I'm a lost cause, not a hero  
But I'll make it on my own  
I've gotta prove them wrong  
Me against the world  
It's me against the world!" _Naruto sang, doing a back flip to avoid Itachi's fist. Itachi joined in,

"_We won't let them change  
How we feel in our hearts  
We're not gonna let them control us  
We won't let them shove  
All their thoughts in our heads  
And we'll never be like them  
I've got no place to go  
I've got no where to run  
They love to watch me fall  
They think they know it all  
I'm a nightmare, a disaster  
That's what they always say  
I'm a lost cause, not a hero  
But I'll make it on my own  
I'm gonna prove them wrong  
It's me against the world  
Me against the world  
Now I'm sick of this waiting  
So come on and take your shot  
You can spit all your insults  
But nothing you say is gonna change us  
You can sit there and judge me  
Say what you want to  
We'll never let you in  
I'm a nightmare, a disaster  
That's what they always said  
I'm a lost cause, not a hero  
But I'll make it on my own  
Me against the world  
I'm a nightmare, a disaster  
That's what they always said  
I'm a lost cause, not a hero  
But I'll make it on my own_

_I've got to prove them wrong  
They'll never bring us down  
We'll never fall in line  
I'll make it on my own  
Me against the world!" _The two Nins sang, before bowing to each other. Mira gave them golf claps. "Nice job, both in song and sparring." She whistled, grinning wildly. She then noticed the gaping team 7, and hopped over, still grinning. "Hiya! I'm Mira Sparrow, what are yer names?" She asked happily, beaming. "I'm Hatake Kakashi. The boy who looks like Itachi is Uchiha Sasuke, the pink haired girl is Haruno Sakura, and the boy with the dog is Inuzuka Kiba." Kakashi replied, in an equally cheery voice.

Mira sent him a challenging smile, and everyone could tell Kakashi sent one back at her. " I wonder if theres a jutsu that makes someone ridicoulously happy, we could use it on Orochimaru! And then peeps could tell peeps that Orochimaru was defeated by cheering Charms!" Mira spontaneously suggested, grinning a wide insane grin. To Team 7's horror, Kakashi actually seemed to be considering it.

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READ AND REVIEW! 


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Naruto, Humor, Supernatural