Once and Again Careless

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Disclaimer: The characters of Once & Again are owned by the writers of Once & Again, not myself. So don't sue. 

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A/N: This is going to be a chapter story and I'm really not sure where I'm going to go with this. It's my first Once & Again story and I hope you guys get into it. This happens right after "All's well that ends well" (Tough Love) but that's where it ends. You can always e-mail if you like at digital_play@yahoo.com. Thanks!

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Careless

Grace was furious.

Completely furious with _him_.

She thought back to the cast party, recalled the moment when Eli had come into the house after missing her play, and tried to make up. 

Did he think that a casual hand across her shoulder and an offer of help would really make up for him missing her play? For lying to her?

Her heart twisted in her chest, but she shrugged it aside. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care about Eli anymore. She couldn't.

Grace repeated the words over in her head as she made her way to the kitchen in her pj's. The party had ended hours ago but she hadn't been able to sleep, so torn was she about Eli and the Mr. Dimitri "moment".

She opened the refrigerator and took out the half eaten cake her mother had made for the party. She cut herself a slice and walked over to the table. She couldn't stop thinking about Eli and what he had said the night before. He had promised her. He had sworn to her. He had made her believe that he cared about her. His softly spoken words drifted through her head. _"Then do it one more time. Just for me."_

Just for me.

It hurt. It hurt, so much. A tear trickled down her cheek and she violently brushed it away with her hand. She couldn't let herself care about him anymore, because the next time he hurt her, which he undoubtedly would, it would tear her apart. He was the only person able to affect her that way.

She stabbed the cake with her fork and shoved part of it in her mouth. She couldn't control the emotions swirling inside. The anger, the pain and the complete desolation.Why did he have to do this to her? She had thought they were…she didn't know what she had thought. She knew what she hoped, but that was never going to happen. Eli was never going to see her the way she wanted him to see her; never going to care about her the way she cared about him. She had to face it and get over him.

She heard a noise and looked up to see Eli coming through the back door. He glanced around and seemed startled to see her sitting at the table with just the soft glow of the stove light to lighten the room. Grace looked down at her piece of cake, her heart in her throat. She couldn't talk to him right now. Not now.

She got up and turned to walk out of the kitchen, but Eli's soft voice stopped her. 

"Grace, please. Just let me explain."

She turned around, carefully concealing her emotions so that her face was a blank mask. "What do you want Eli?"

…

Eli looked at Grace not knowing what to say. He had practiced it in his head for hours. He was going to apologize for missing the play and explain to her why he had, but now as she stood waiting for him to make his excuses he couldn't do it.

Grace looked at him, her eyes piercing through his eyes. 

What was his deal? He stopped her but refused to say anything. Why was he torturing her like this?

"Eli, if you have something to say, then say it! If not, I'm going to bed." She turned away again but this time Eli caught her arm.

Why did he have to touch her? Why was he the only one that could make her feel so imbalanced? She turned around and met his hazel eyes. "I'm sorry!" He said softly.

She rolled her eyes and tried to break out of his grasp but he wouldn't let go. "Listen to me Grace. I wanted to be there. I did. It's just…" He didn't want to tell her that he lost his job. He didn't want to let her down. But he'd rather have her disappointed at him, than not talking to him at all. "I lost my job." He said finally.

Grace blinked but before she could say anything, he continued. "I lost it and I haven't said anything to anyone. I lied to my mom about working and I told her I worked nights. So when I got to the play and saw her there, I knew she couldn't see me or she would have found me out."

Grace looked into his remorseful eyes and knew she couldn't stay mad at him. But she needed the anger; it was the only thing that could protect her heart from him. 

She was about to forgive him when suddenly she thought about the other reason she was mad at him. The barrette. She jerked her arm out of his grasp. "What about the barrette, Eli? I asked Jessie and it wasn't hers. Why did you lie to me?"

Eli didn't have an answer for that one. He still didn't know why he had lied. Sometimes he felt oddly protective over Grace and he supposed that he hadn't wanted to hurt her.

Grace saw that he wasn't going to answer her and was about to leave when she thought of one more thing she needed to know. "Who was she?"

Eli looked down at his feet and then back at her. "A girl I was seeing. She's not important."

"If she was so unimportant, why did you lie to me about her?"

Eli shook his head. "I honestly don't know Grace. I just…I don't know."

He looked at her with serious, honest eyes and Grace knew he was being sincere. God, she wanted to be angry with him. But she couldn't.

She sighed. "Just forget about it Eli. It doesn't matter anymore."

She turned away and this time Eli didn't stop her. She walked across the hall but was well aware of his eyes on her back.

Eli stood in the middle of the kitchen watching her. She had forgiven him and he should be happy, but he wasn't. He leaned against the counter, closed his eyes, and wondered why he felt so lost.


End file.

Once and Again, Romance