Final Fantasy VII 1. Don't eat something with materia in it!

Kohaku: This I just came up with randomly so read it and enjoy it! This might be a one-shot or two chapters long, just so you know. Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FINAL FANTASY 7!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
Cloud sat in a chair staring at a sandwich. Of course he could just take it, but if it was Cid's he didn't want to know the consequences for it. Shera wanted Cid to not speak so much "language" and be nice or she'd have to go on the next trip and they couldn't let that happen. So now Cid's outbursts would cause him in having to go lay down or something like that. Everyone's now gotten used to his forced niceness so now it's not so odd to them anymore.  
  
The sandwiches contents looked like it had chocobo meat, (Hey, don't you think Chocobos look good to eat?) some lettuce, and tomatoes. Cloud basically drooled over it. He snapped out of it once he heard paws padding over to his door. RedXIII a red, very muscular animal had walked in. (I'm going to call him Red from now on okay?) "Cloud, are you going to eat that sandwich on the table?" Red spoke out to him once he padded over to the side of Cloud.  
  
"Um, I really don't know..." Cloud said unsure of what to do.  
  
"You could eat it." Red suggested acting sort of odd. "If you're worried about Cid he didn't come in here all day."  
  
"Why, did you stalk him or something?" Cloud replied still eyeing the sandwich.  
  
"..." Instead of saying anything Red just shook his head from left to right a few times.  
  
After a few minutes a growling noise disrupted the awkward silence. Cloud looked down at his stomach. It was two 'o clock and he hadn't even eaten breakfast. Red just looked at him oddly and put his two front paws onto the table and put one of his front paws onto the plate and dragged it towards him. Cloud just gave him the look of 'You wouldn't... '. Red just gave him a reply of "What? I'm hungry."  
  
Just after Red had said that Yuffie peeked inside the door and said "Come on, it's lunch time!" There were not as many people on the Highwind since Tifa and Barret had decided to stay and watch Marlene. The only bad thing was that they were trying to hunt down Sephiroth.  
  
Red just abandoned the sandwich and followed Yuffie out of the room, but before he left he said to Cloud, "The sandwich is all yours now Cloud." After the two had left Cloud eyed the sandwich suspiciously as if it were going to grow a face and bite his head off.  
  
Cloud looked all around him and noticed that the guy that was always there wasn't there. (You know the guy that lets you save and rest in the room where the big table is, that's where Cloud is.) He scooted his chair over to where the sandwich was and looked around again.  
  
He reached his hand out to the chocobo sandwich and looked at it suspiciously as if it were to bit his fingers off. Finally, he grabbed the sandwich and put it in between his two hands and took a bite out of it. Satisfactory was brought to him because it is when you don't eat until two p.m.  
  
After he finished his sandwich he felt a weird tingling feeling in the area of his stomach. He shrugged it off and went up onto the deck. There he saw Vincent, Cid, Red, Yuffie, Aries, and Cait Sith. Aries had gotten revived a while ago. Cid had noticed that Cloud had gotten up on the deck and greeted him by saying, "Hey, Cloud...nice day huh? Want...some lunch?" After Cid had said "Cloud" everyone had looked over to where Cid was looking.  
  
"No. I don't think I can eat with this weird feeling in my stomach." Cloud said while clutching his stomach. Now the tingling feeling started getting worse.  
  
Yuffie looked at Cloud questionably and asked, "Why? Did you do something to make your stomach feel that way? Sometimes when my stomach does that I just try and make myself throw up and then the feeling's gone!"  
  
"Um, Yuffie, I think you're just sick and 'need' to throw up." Aries said sort of confused. She got up and walked by Cloud and suggested, "Why don't you lye down for a little while and it might go away." She looked at him reassuringly and walked back inside the Highwind.  
  
"You sure you don't want any food?" Cid asked him while taking out a chocobo sandwich as Cloud sat down on the metal floor of the Highwind next to Cid. Cloud looked over at Yuffie strangely for she was clutching her food like the wind was going to swipe it out of her hands. Well, they were going really fast and they 'were' eating lunch on the deck.  
  
"Yeah. I'm sure I don't-" Cloud got cut off by rushing over and tilting his head over the side and throwing up.  
  
"Hoo boy, I wouldn't want to be the person that got hit!" Cid exclaimed after Cloud finished puking. Soon after that comment there was a scream loud enough for them to hear up in the air signaling that someone 'did' get hit with Cloud's throw up.  
  
Aries came rushing from the inside of the Highwind and said worriedly, "What was that loud noise, was it one of you guys?"  
  
Red shook his head from side to side a few times signaling a no. "Then who was it?" Aries asked seeming a little relived.  
  
"Oh, Cloud had puked and it hit somebody on the head or sumthin'." Cait Sith replied while getting up. Cloud walked over from the edge to the small group and nodded that he was fine now. Yuffie looked at him as if she were about to burst out laughing at the thought of what would have happened if Cloud knew the person. Red's head was tilted towards the sky dazing off in his own thoughts.  
  
"Well, I did eat a sandwich that was in the room with a long table" Cloud said all of a sudden.  
  
A look of memory and dread came over Cid's face. "Uh-oh..." After Cid said that Cloud's face said 'What do you mean by "Uh-oh"?'. "Well, I made that sandwich and didn't want it at the time, so I decided to see if it would mutate." Cid began, "So, then I put a Restore materia in it and then I put it on a plate and went into that room that you found it in and placed it there. I decided I would check up on it a week later to see if it mutated. I had no idea someone would want to eat it." Cid finished his story. He was getting weird looks from everyone.  
  
"I never knew that you would do something like that..." Yuffie said amazed. "You're my new role model!"  
  
Red interrupted his thoughts to glance at Cid oddly and went back to looking at the sky.  
  
Aries gasped and asked nervously, "But what would happen if you 'swallowed' a materia?"  
  
"I don't know." Was Cid's reply to the question.  
  
Cloud looked around at everyone furiously and shouted to them, "HEY THIS IS ABOUT 'ME' NOT 'YOU'! I'M THE ONE THAT SWALLOWED THE MATERIA AND I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT THROWING UP! There much better." He satisfactly said once he notice he had gotten everyone's attention. Wait let's change that. He scared everyone out of their skins, much better.  
  
"Oh, so we're supposed to devote all our time to help 'you'?" Cid asked angrily.  
  
"Yep. You know why? BECAUSE I'M THE ONE THAT SWALLOWED THE MATERIA!!!" Cloud yelled at Cid.  
  
"Why, I-" Cid was stopped by Aries pulling him back from Cloud.  
  
"Oh yeah, don't forget it 'was' all of YOUR fault Cid!" Cloud shot back at Cid pouting.  
  
"I think that we should go and 'find' somebody that could help Cloud." Red said finally out of the daze he was in earlier. Red padded over to Cloud and sat down by him and whispered, "Well, you did 'eat' the sandwich." Then, Red walked over to Cid and sat down by him and said in a tone only in earshot of Cid, "You were the one who 'made' the sandwich."  
  
"Yes Red is right. You two apologize, now." Aries said mother-like. Apparently she had heard all of what Red said to the two. The two both quietly said sorry two each other and went inside with their heads facing the floor.  
  
"Way to handle 'em Aries!" Yuffie exclaimed happily while jumping up and down. "You too Red!" Red slightly smiled at the compliment he received while Aries grinned at how her plan had worked.  
  
"Yeah, but how are we going to get the effects of the materia out of Cloud?" Aries questioned herself more than the others.  
  
(The Next Day)  
  
Cloud woke up, got dressed, and headed up onto the deck. Once he got up there he noticed everyone was staring at him. "What?" he questioned them irritably. Cait Sith pointed to his own stomach telling Cloud to look at his own. When Cloud looked at his stomach he realized that, his stomach was glowing green! Now he remembered something. Whenever he was healed he always felt this weird tingly feeling and this was the same feeling!  
  
"Guys this doesn't look good..." Cloud said dreadfully while looking at his glowing stomach.  
  
"Of course it doesn't your stomach's glowin' a funky green color!" Yuffie said while staring at Cloud's stomach. "Well, anybody got an idea of who to go to before Cloud turns fully green?"  
  
"I know. This may not work, but I think it will." Red spoke up.  
  
"Who? Who?" Cloud asked Red desperately.  
  
"...Sephiroth..." Red said getting ready for Cloud's yell.  
  
"WHAT!?!?!?! WHY 'HIM'?!?!?!" Cloud yelled loud enough for people on the ground to hear. The people on the ground looked up at the sky terrified and confused. Some of them started running around screaming in shear terror.  
  
"In the last town we were in I heard people say a man in a black cape was headed towards the Northern Crater to live there." Yuffie said trying to be helpful.  
  
"Then, WE'RE OFF!" Cid yelled pulling a lever-thingy and they went really fast towards the Northern Crater.  
  
(A Few Minutes Later)  
  
"We're here!" Cid exclaimed proudly looking at his comrades.  
  
"Cid, can we wait a few minutes so we can all catch our breaths?" Aries asked Cid out of breath.  
  
"Sure, but hurry. We've got to save Cloud from turning green, even though that would be kinda cool but that's off the subject." Cid said turning around to look at the Northern Crater.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (Meanwhile Sephiroth)  
  
Sephiroth was sitting on a rock playing with little farm animal toys. "I will take over the world! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" "No, you won't! For I am the great Cloud, here to save the world!!!" "Psh. Yeah right." Sephiroth said as he threw the chicken known as Cloud at the nearby rock wall. "WA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!I defeated you so now I can take over the world! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Cid, Cloud, Red, Aries, Yuffie , and Cait Sith all stared at Sephiroth in awe. "What? Who said evil villains can't play with toys?"  
  
"Um...that's not the reason why we're here." Aries stated nervously.  
  
"Then why 'are' you here?" Sephiroth asked Aries coldly. While dropping the toy farm animals on the ground and walking towards the party.  
  
"We're here 'cuz of Cloud's stomach!" Yuffie said loudly.  
  
"What's wrong with his...oh...WA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Sephiroth laughed hysterically after looking at Cloud's glowing-green stomach. "But 'why' do you need me to help Clod, I mean, Cloud?" Sephiroth questioned them while receiving a glare from Cloud.  
  
"He swallowed a restore materia, can you help us stop the effects?" Aries asked Sephiroth sweetly.  
  
"He swallowed a restore materia? WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Okay I'll help." Sephiroth said smiling.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
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Kohaku: Well, I hope you enjoyed this! I typed this up without a draft or anything so this took a while. Click the pretty purple "Go" button to send a review! Constructive criticism and flames are accepted. I just prefer constructive criticism to flames. I want at least two reviews before I update. So, Review! ^_^ 


	2. The Group's First Night At Sephiroth's H...

Kohaku: Thank you for all those that had reviewed! ^_^ Okay, I'm trying to make the second chapter a little or a lot longer than the first one. These '...' mean they're putting emphasis on the word. Enjoy the second chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Final Fantasy 7.  
  
"I 'will' help, but only if you help me back." Sephiroth said pacing back and forth in front of the group. "I just have to think about what I need help with.... Maybe one of you guys could clean!" He finally stopped pacing. "Yes, yes! Household chores you guys can do household chores!"  
  
"Hey, look you guys!" Yuffie shouted not paying attention to Sephiroth, not like she was anyway.  
  
"What?" Cid asked Yuffie still in a little shock from her sudden outburst. Red looked over in Yuffie's way, apparently he knew she was going to do that anyway. Cloud didn't look surprised at all, while Aries was looking in the direction that Yuffie was pointing to.  
  
There was somebody running from the direction of the Highwind in a red cape with a metal arm. (Do you know who it is?) "It's Vincent!" Cait Sith told everyone. Once Cait Sith had said that Vincent had already noticed where the group was. When he had gotten to the group Cait Sith asked him, "What took ya so long Vincent?"  
  
"...Sleeping..." He replied tiredly. "I went back inside when you were fighting and went to sleep in a chair..." Vincent's head started drooping as if he were about to fall asleep. He sat down on the rock ground and started lightly snoring.  
  
"Hey, you guys, what about me?" Sephiroth questioned them slightly annoyed.  
  
"So, what do you want us to do?" Aries asked Sephiroth, now paying attention to what they were supposed to do in return.  
  
"I want you to do...Household chores!" he said smiling, while everyone was looking at him weirdly. "You! I want you to help me with getting Cloud out of these side affects." He ordered pointing at Red. "And, you! I want you to, um, help me with Cloud too!" He said pointing at the sleeping Vincent. "The rest of you, I'll decide in a minute..."  
  
"Okay, now here's a completely fair way of deciding." Sephiroth said staring at all of them.  
  
"Eenie, Meenie, Minee, Moe." he said while landing on Aries. "You, in the pink dress, get to sweep!" he exclaimed while holding up a broom. Aries walked up to Sephiroth and snatched the broom.  
  
"Eenie, Meenie, Minee, Moe." Sephiroth repeated while landing on Cait Sith. "You can cook." He showed Cait Sith where the kitchen was.  
  
"You're the only one left so you have to dust!" Sephiroth said a little 'too' happy. He handed the duster to Yuffie and told her to tell him when she finished dusting the living room. "Come on. Cloud and uh...."  
  
"Red, and that's Vincent over there." Red told Sephiroth. Cloud was tapping his Ultima Weapon on the floor right in front of Vincent over and over again, which woke him up.  
  
They followed Sephiroth into a spacious room. "Um, Sephiroth, how 'did' you make a house?" Cloud asked Sephiroth.  
  
"This crater is magical. So, I said I wanted a house and it just made a house in here." Sephiroth explained while receiving odd looks from Vincent, Red, and Cloud. "Yes, I do know that is quite weird."  
  
"Yes. Yes it is." Cloud agreed. "But that's not all I want to know about this crater-I mean house." Cloud said while looking around the crater. "How 'did' this become a house anyway?"  
  
"It eroded itself." Sephiroth quickly answered. He received more odd looks from the trio and continued on, "This crater has many wonders I tell you."  
  
Red walked between Vincent and Cloud and sat down on the ground and put his head on his two front paws. "So, what are we going to do?" Red asked Sephiroth.  
  
"I don't know. Do you have any ideas?" Sephiroth asked the trio. Red just shook his head a few times while Vincent slightly shrugged. "What about you, Cloud?"  
  
"We could.... Um...how about get these side affects away?" Cloud replied.  
  
"Oh, yeah I forgot about your...glowing...green...stomach!" Sephiroth said trying to stifle laughter, but decided to let it out. "WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Okay it's not funny any-anymore WA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"  
  
"Sephiroth?" Cloud asked.  
  
"Huh?"  
"Do you even 'know' how to make the side affects go away?" Cloud asked half of him was dreading the answer and the other half wanted to know.  
  
"What do you think? I wouldn't have said I would help if I didn't know. Okay, I would have, but I was bored anyway." Sephiroth explained. There was an awkward silence until a light snoring sound interrupted it. They looked over to where the snoring was and knew it wasn't Red because his eyes were open, but he was stretched out comfortably on the floor. Sephiroth noticed that Vincent's stomach rose up and down like it does when people sleep. "Does he not get enough sleep?" Sephiroth questioned Cloud.  
  
"He get plenty of sleep. Normally he's asleep for about half the day." Cloud said while glancing over at Vincent. Vincent had not been in a deep sleep for he woke up once he heard Cloud talking. "Now, he's normally awake so he should be awake for about...let's say six hours."  
  
Red got up and padded over to Sephiroth and Cloud and said, "I think Yuffie is done cleaning the living room Sephiroth, I can hear her from outside."  
  
"Hellooooooo? Sephiroth I'm done dusting the living room and Aries is done sweeping the living room!" Yuffie called and then knocked on the door. "Me and Aries are coming in okay?" She said as she opened the door. "So what do you want me to dust now?" She asked Sephiroth.  
  
"I don't care you can rest if you want to." Sephiroth answered her question gesturing her to leave the room. "Yeah, what do you want?" he asked Aries.  
  
"What do you want me to sweep next? Also, Cait Sith wants to know what you want to eat for dinner." Aries told Sephiroth.  
  
"You can rest too...um..."  
  
"Aries."  
  
"Yes, Aries. Hey you're the one I killed! Okay, anyway, you can rest too. What was that Cait Sith guy doing the whole time anyway?" Sephiroth asked Aries.  
  
"He was checking to see where everything was." Aries replied.  
  
"Okay, I want him to make...sushi."  
  
"Okay." Aries said while walking out to go tell Cait Sith what Sephiroth wants to eat.  
  
Sephiroth walked over to the door and shut it. Finally, he sat down on something that looked like a big slab of rock eroded from the wall. Red lay down on his side rested his eyes. Vincent got up from his spot on the floor and walked over to Cloud and said, "What are we going to do, it seems like Sephiroth is getting tired.  
  
"I heard that!" Sephiroth said, "I'm just bored you guys can go into the living room if you want." At that Red got up and padded towards the living room. Vincent and Cloud had left the room too.  
  
(In The Living Room)  
  
Aries, Yuffie, Cloud, Red, and Vincent all sat on couches and chairs in the main part of the living room. Cloud was sitting in a chair by the couch, Vincent was sitting across him in another chair, Aries was sitting on the edge of the couch next to Cloud, Yuffie was sitting on the other edge next to Vincent, and in the middle of the couch Red was sitting there. Cait Sith was still cooking dinner.  
  
"So, Cloud, have the side affects been going away?" Aries asked Cloud trying to start a conversation. She received a slight shake of Cloud's head in response. Cid appeared in through the door and sat on the floor. (Hey, that rhymed!) "Cid, where were you?" Aries questioned him.  
  
"I had to go and have a cup of tea, I was thirsty." Cid answered. Cloud gave him a look that said, 'Why didn't none of us notice you leave?' Cid replied to that look, "I slipped out when nobody was looking." Everyone looked at him as if he actually made sense this time.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (Three Hours Later)  
  
There was a really long awkward silence that had lasted three hours. Finally Cait Sith came out of the kitchen with sushi. Apparently Sephiroth could smell it from his room because he said, "Cait Sith you can open the door a little and give me my food." Cait Sith did what he was told and set down a big plate with everybody else's meal on it.  
  
"I already ate." Cait Sith said and left the room to the kitchen. Once he left everyone, except Red who just grabbed some sushi with his mouth, greedily took the food off the plate.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (One Hour Later: 10 p.m.)  
  
The whole group, Cloud, Aries, Red, Yuffie, Cid, and Vincent were all having an interesting conversation for the past hour. Cloud wasn't really talking because eating sort of made him feel sick, side affects of the restore materia.  
  
Finally, Sephiroth came out of his room and said, "It's time for all of you to go to sleep. There's a guestroom with two beds and another one with four beds."  
  
Cait Sith came back in the living room and solved the problem of who's sleeping where. "I'll sleep in the kitchen tonight." And went back inside the kitchen.  
  
Everyone moved to their assigned room and laid down on their beds.  
  
(Sephiroth's Room)  
  
Sephiroth was already sleeping peacefully in his black-and-white checkered bed covers. He was talking in his sleep apparently having a weird dream.  
  
"WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I JUST TOOK OVER THE WORLD!!! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! In your FACE, people who don't like me!!! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Cloud's, Red's, Vincent's, and Cid's Room)  
  
Cloud couldn't get to sleep from Sephiroth's laughing and sleep talking. Not to mention Vincent's snoring wasn't helping either. Cloud looked across the room and saw Red dazing off into his thoughts. How could he do that with all of the noise? Not to mention Cid was sleep talking too. Cloud could understand why Sephiroth would have the dream he was having but not Cid. No, not Cid.  
  
"Tomorrow I'm going to get up and go to the bathroom and get some breakfast...mm...........Breakfast." Cid was saying in his sleep. He'd been saying that the whole time they were in there.  
  
Cloud noticed that Red was still zoned out and decided to see if he can get him out of trance. "Red, are you awake?"  
  
Red stayed zoned out for a few more seconds, and then replied to Cloud, "Yeah." He heard Cid talk about eating oatmeal and how good it was and looked at him oddly. "How long has he been doing that?" Red asked Cloud.  
  
"Since he went to sleep." Cloud said while looking over at Vincent to see if he had woken up yet.  
  
"I'm going to sleep." Red said and then laid down trying to go to sleep. Cloud laid down himself and tried going to sleep.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (In The Morning)  
Sephiroth got up from a great night's rest. He went into the living room to get some coffee. When he went in there he got weird looks from Cloud, Aries, Red, Yuffie, Vincent, and Cid. "What can't a guy wear green pajamas?" Sephiroth asked them all.  
  
"Not with frogs on them." Cloud answered Sephiroth trying to stifle laughter.  
  
"I like it." Yuffie said while staring at Sephiroth's pajamas.  
  
"Cloud, I think I know how I could help you with your....WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....problem." Sephiroth said while looking at Cloud's glowing stomach.  
  
"It feels like I'm going to throw up more than it did yesterday." Said Cloud trying to not throw up. He got up and went into the kitchen. Apparently he made it to the trashcan because he came back they could see Cait Sith looking into the trashcan.  
  
"Cait Sith, do you throw up?" Yuffie asked out of pure curiosity. Cait Sith answered her with a shake of the head.  
  
Sephiroth went into the kitchen and came back with what he went into the living room for in the first place. "Cloud get up." He said pointing to the chair.  
  
"Why?" Cloud asked.  
  
"I want to sit there." Was Sephiroth's simple answer. Cloud growled at Sephiroth and got up. Cloud sat on the floor beside Cid.  
  
"So, Sephiroth how are you going to help me?" Cloud asked Sephiroth reminding him of what he said earlier. Sephiroth looked at Cloud's glowing- green stomach, laughed, and nodded his head.  
  
"Yes, I remember. I'll tell you later though." Sephiroth said while waving his hand dismissing the subject. "Well, I'm going to go change." Sephiroth said while getting up and going into his room.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (Five Minutes Later)  
  
Sephiroth came back in his normal clothes and noticed everybody talking, except Cait Sith was in the kitchen.  
  
"Cloud, I'll tell you in a minute." Sephiroth said getting Cloud's attention.  
  
"Can you tell me now?" Cloud asked.  
"WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Glowing-green stomach!! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Okay, this is what I think 'might' help a 'little'." Sephiroth said.  
  
Kohaku: How did you like that? I made it just a 'little' longer. Click the review button! I won't always update this quick, because I don't normally get on during the school week. Once again thank you reviewers! ^_^ 


	3. Chapter 3

Kohaku: Thanks for the reviews! ^_^ Here is the third chapter! (...) Are author's notes.  
  
"Are they good ideas?" Cloud asked Sephiroth.  
  
"I don't know if they'll work though. I'm giving you a choice on either acupuncture or hypnotism."  
  
"I'll choose hypnotism, but I have no idea 'how' that will work." Cloud replied.  
  
"I want to find out the source that had the restore materia." Sephiroth answered Cloud.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want to find out where the restore materia came from." Sephiroth answered while sighing.  
  
"Can't I just tell you?" Cloud suggested.  
  
"Yeah, but it's more fun to hypnotize you." Sephiroth answered once again. "Go and get Red and Vincent and tell them to come." He said watching Cloud walk away shaking his head from side to side.  
  
(Five Minutes Later)  
  
Finally, after five minutes, Cloud had come back with Red and Vincent following him. Sephiroth gestured them into Cloud, Vincent, Cid, and Red's room. Sephiroth sat down on one of the beds and pulled out a pocket watch, then a watch, and then a necklace with a dark blue stone attached to it.  
  
"Where did you get those items?" Cloud asked looking confusingly at Sephiroth.  
  
"Under the bed mattress." He replied. Everyone looked at him oddly and then just shrugged it off. "Okay, Cloud, look at the stone." Sephiroth said, and Cloud stared at the stone. Sephiroth slowly made it sway side to side, and Cloud fell asleep.  
  
"He somehow goes to sleep when item sway in front of him." Red said.  
  
"When I say 'Wake up' you'll wake up. Wake up!" Sephiroth said and Cloud woke up staring off into space, which was sort of creeping out Sephiroth. "He looks as creepy as when people sleep with their eyes open." Sephiroth said while staring at the unblinking Cloud. "What's something that you love a lot?"  
  
"...Puppies....and...Kittens..." Cloud replied to Sephiroth's question.  
  
"Okay..." Sephiroth said. Vincent raised an eyebrow at Cloud and Red just shook his head. "How did you 'get' the restore materia in your stomach?"  
  
"A sandwich..." Cloud answered.  
  
"What 'kind' of sandwich and who made it?" Sephiroth asked Cloud.  
  
"Chocobo sandwich....Cid made...mutate..." Cloud vaguely answered. Sephiroth tried to stifle the laughter of the restore materia holding a sandwich. He looked over at Red and Vincent as if waiting for an answer.  
  
"Cid made a sandwich and put a restore materia in it thinking it might mutate faster." Red finally said. Sephiroth grabbed Cloud by the shoulders until he came to.  
  
"Huh?" was the first thing Cloud said when he came back to the world. Sephiroth let go of Cloud's shoulders and Cloud said, "Ouch, why did you have to shake me so hard?"  
  
"I did not shake you hard!"  
  
"Yes you did!"  
  
"Did not!  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Hmph!"  
  
"Nyaa!" Cloud said sticking out his tongue and then turned away.  
  
"Guys, stop acting like kids, you are adults." Vincent said. They looked at Vincent and somehow they stopped acting like kids.  
  
"Well, he started it." Cloud said still acting childish.  
  
"Nuh-uh! Um... MEANIE!!!!!" Sephiroth yelled. "At least I'm not the one that has a green stomach!"  
  
"So, at least 'I' don't play with toy farm animals!" Cloud shot back.  
"I found those on the ground outside the crater and I said to myself, 'Hey, why not pick those up and play with them you're bored aren't you?'" Sephiroth explained.  
  
(An Hour Later)  
  
For the past hour, Sephiroth and Cloud kept fighting until Aries had to come in and send them each into a different corner. Cloud was fiddling with his thumbs while Sephiroth was staring at his hypnotism stone.  
  
"You might not want to do that." Vincent suggested.  
  
"Oh, well I, the Great Sephiroth as you all know, can 'not' get hypnotized. So, HA!" The Great Sephirtoh replied. "Okay, well, I need the person who 'made' the sandwich in here. CID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Apparently Cid did not hear what Sephiroth had said so he opened the door, closed it like a normal person would, and went into the living room. There were a few noises coming from outside. Cloud had only caught these words: "Follow me or I'll cut you up with my sword." , "Why?", and "Do I really have to go?". Followed by a few muffled cries.  
  
(Twenty Minutes Later)  
  
Finally, Sephiroth had come in with Cid in a headlock. "What took so long?" Cloud questioned them.  
  
"Well, first, I went into the living room and I asked him 'nicely' if he wanted to follow me..."  
  
"And I said NO!" Cid interrupted proudly.  
  
Sephirtoh looked at him angrily and continued on, "Then, I ordered him to and he said 'No' once again." He took a breath as if still trying to control his anger. "So, then, I put him in a headlock and here we are!" Sephiroth ended proudly.  
  
"Why did it take twenty minutes though?" Cloud asked his question only half answered.  
  
"It just did. Oh yeah, the coffee bean incident!" Sephiroth remembered.  
  
"What's the coffee bean incident?" Red asked obviously interested in what was going on.  
  
"Well, I went into the kitchen saying I wanted some coffee and Sephiroth offered to help me get it. And when we were in the kitchen he poured the coffee beans all over me." Cid explained.  
  
Sephiroth look at him even more angrily. Finally, he let him out of the headlock and said, "They need a more detailed explanation! And 'I'll' tell them this time!"  
  
"Fine, fine." Cid said disappointed.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
Sephirtoh had walked out of his room where Red, Cloud, and Vincent awaited him to come back with Cid.  
  
He walked over to Cid and nicely asked him, "Will you follow me, please?" He asked almost choking on the word 'please' because he normally used it in threats.  
  
Apparently Cid had not heard him asked him nicely and who would want to miss that? "CID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He turned his head to Sephiroth after he had yelled that.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Follow me." Sephiroth ordered Cid.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Do you want to be one of the heroes that save Cloud from turning green?" Sephiroth asked him like he was giving Cid a job offer.  
  
"Um...Can I think about it?" Cid asked Sephiroth.  
  
"Okay." He answered smiling.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"I'll think about it." Cid said.  
  
"Five..."  
  
"Huh?" Cid said startled at Sephiroth's random number.  
  
"Four..."  
  
Cid had realized what Sephiroth was doing. "Stop give me more time!"  
  
"Three..."  
  
"Hey...stop!"  
  
"Two..."  
  
Cid tried to decide quickly, but he couldn't. "Hold on!"  
  
"One!!!" Sephiroth said grinning like he was torturing somebody. "Do you know yet?"  
  
"Yes, yes I know now."  
  
"What is it?" Sephiroth asked him knowing the counting down must have worked.  
  
"No. And I'm going to get some coffee." He answered while walking off into the kitchen.  
  
Sephiroth just stood there dumbfounded, then he got an idea. "Wait up, Cid! Let me help you!" He said running after Cid.  
  
(In The Kitchen (Still Flashback)  
  
When Sephiroth got inside the kitchen he saw Cid digging through the drawers looking for the coffee beans. Sephiroth walked over to the pantry and took out the coffee beans. "Looking for these?" he asked Cid.  
  
"Thank you!" Cid said running over to Sephiroth for the coffee beans.  
  
"No, allow me." Sephiroth insisted. Instead of pouring in the coffee beans he poured them all over Cid.  
  
"What are you doing?" Cid asked Sephiroth.  
  
"Just follow me."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine then." Sephiroth said putting Cid in a headlock, and walking out of the kitchen.  
  
(End Of Flashback)  
  
Everyone stood in the room frozen. "What?" Sephiroth asked them all.  
  
"Why would you call it an 'incident'?" Cloud said.  
  
"Because someone could have died!!!!!" Cid shouted. Everyone looked at him weird.  
  
"People what about Cloud?" Red asked everybody.  
  
Everyone, except Cloud, looked like they had totally forgotten about it. "Oh, yes, well I've come up with a few new ideas." Sephiroth said.  
  
Kohaku: Sorry, I didn't update for a really long time and that this chapter isn't as long as the other ones. Don't expect updates very soon because I only get on the computer on the weekends!! Click the "Go" button to review!!! ^_^ 


	4. New Ideas And Let Downs

Kohaku: Here is the fourth chapter of Watch What You Eat! Enjoy! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Final Fantasy 7!  
  
All of the people in the room diverted their attention to Sephiroth. "What are the new ideas?" Cloud asked.  
  
"Let me think of them first." Sephiroth answered. Cloud sighed while shaking his head. "Oh, I know!"  
  
"What, what?" Cloud immediately reacted to Sephiroth's outburst.  
  
"You could try throwing it up!" He answered enthusiastically. Sephiroth looked over at Cloud who's expression darkened. "What's wrong Cloud?" Sephiroth asked.  
  
"Nothing...it's just that I threw up after I had eaten it." Cloud replied.  
  
"Oh..." Sephiroth said trailing off into deep thought. "I need to know the side affects!"  
  
"Well, I'm glowing green." Cloud answered.  
  
"Come on, there's got to be more than that!" Sephiroth said liking where the conversation was leading.  
  
"Also, there's this tingling feeling in my stomach, lately it's moved to my hands..."  
  
"That must mean that your hands might turn green soon!" Sephiroth said happily.  
  
"And, that's a good thing?" Cloud asked.  
  
"Yes, well, no. For me it is. I mean, that way I know which part will be infected." Sephiroth said.  
  
"Infected?" Cloud said raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes...Infected. Why? Well, because it's like a virus." Sephiroth said scaring the group in the room. "What? I read up on lots of books about medicine."  
  
"Does that mean you could cure Cloud?" Cid asked Sephiroth.  
  
"I guess so, but I don't know if I read anything about swallowing a restore materia." Sephiroth said while smirking at Cloud.  
  
"It shouldn't be funny anymore Sephiroth!" Cloud said annoyed on how Sephiroth still found that funny.  
  
"I just can't believe someone would do something so dumb." Sephiroth commented snickering. Nobody knew why he still found that funny.  
  
"Well, at least I don't play with farm animals!" Cloud shot back.  
  
"Oh please, don't bring that up again!" Sephiroth said annoyed.  
  
"Sephiroth, Cloud, don't start fighting again." Aries said trying to break the up-coming fight.  
  
"Fine then, one.... Two.... Three.... Four.... Five...Six.... Seven.... Eight.... Nine.... Ten." Sephiroth counted taking a deep breath between numbers. Everyone in the room stared at him hoping that was helping him calm down. Vincent, on the other hand, was asleep in his own little dream world. Sephiroth sighed and stated, "Don't worry, I'm fine." Followed by everyone sighing a sigh of relief.  
  
"At least I think." He added after a few minutes of silence. Aries left the room followed by Cid. Sephiroth looked around the room. Cloud was staring off into space while looking oblivious, Vincent was still asleep, and Red was lying on the floor with his head on his paws.  
  
Suddenly, a low growling noise had interrupted the awkward silence. Red lifted up his head, Vincent, well, he was still asleep, and Cloud snapped out of his trance. "What was that noise?" Red asked. They all diverted their attention to Sephiroth, except for Vincent.  
  
"What are you all looking at?" Sephiroth questioned them with a glare.  
  
"What was that noise?" Cloud asked as Red nodded his head in agreement.  
  
Sephiroth answered, "That was my stomach. I'm hungry." He added as he got up to leave the room. "Well, aren't you coming?" he asked them. As if on cue, Vincent woke up from his nap.  
  
Cloud looked at Vincent and shook his head. "What?" Vincent asked. Cloud followed Red and Sephiroth out of the room shaking his head. "...." Vincent shrugged and then followed after them.  
  
(In The Living Room)  
  
When the four walked in, they saw Yuffie, Aries, and Cid sitting on the couch not doing anything. "Vincent and Red, you can go sit down." Sephiroth said motioning them to the chairs. "Cloud, let's go get some food from Cait Sith."  
  
"Why do I have to go?" Cloud asked whining.  
  
"To help carry the food." Sephiroth answered. "And I'm afraid Vincent will fall asleep while carrying it. Also, Red can't carry food." Sephiroth said just as Cloud was about to ask.  
  
The two went into the kitchen and the sight they both saw would scar them for life. "Cait Sith what are you doing?" Cloud asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Dancing." Cait Sith replied as he started doing the hustle. Sephiroth walked over to the yellow-and-purple polka-dotted radio and turned of the music. But, Cait Sith still continued dancing after the music was turned off.  
  
"CAIT SITH STOP DANCING!!" Cloud yelled, for the sight was blinding him.  
  
"Fine then, you didn't have to yell." Cait Sith said frowning. "What did you come in here for anyway?" He asked still frowning.  
  
"We came for lunch." Sephiroth stated quickly. Cait Sith went over to the stove and took out rice balls. Sephiroth took a plate and gave it to Cloud, then he took his own plate and kicked open the blue swinging door leading to the living room.  
  
(In The Living Room Once Again)  
  
When Sephiroth and Cloud entered the room, everyone looked at them with anticipation. Apparently they were waiting to eat lunch. As they put the plates on the table, everybody started attacking the plates.  
  
After everyone was done eating, Sephiroth pulled Cloud over to the side to talk to him. "Cloud..." he said.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I've got another idea." He replied looking thoughtful afterwards.  
  
"What is it?" Cloud asked impatiently. He looked down. All of a sudden, he noticed his hands were starting to turn green.  
  
"Dun, dun, dun!!!" Sephiroth sang as Cloud looked at him oddly. "Okay," he said going back to being serious again. "I've got more ideas. One of them is that you look at something so disturbing that you throw up and another one is...." He trailed off.  
  
"I've already seen Cait Sith dancing, doesn't that count as disturbing?" Cloud asked Sephiroth.  
  
"True. But, it didn't make you throw up." Sephiroth replied. Cloud stomped his foot at the reply. "I like the hustle." Sephiroth commented off subject.  
  
"And your point is...." Cloud said. Then, Sephiroth's idea struck him. "Sephiroth..."  
  
It was too late. Sephiroth had already started doing the hustle. "Um...Sephiroth I doubt this will make me throw up." Cloud said trying to stop Sephiroth while the others weren't even paying attention.  
  
"Fine then." Sephiroth said while stopping. "Well, I guess I'll just have to look up how to cure glowing....green...people.... WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Sephiroth! It's not that funny anymore!" Cloud stated irritated.  
  
"Well, it is to me." Sephiroth replied with a smirk plastered across his face. He turned around and walked away turning towards the direction of his bookshelf. Sephiroth pulled out a rather thick red book, opened it to the bookmarked page and started reading it.  
  
Cloud strode over to Sephiroth and asked him, "What are you reading?"  
  
Sephiroth answered with a, "Go get some lunch before it runs out." He said not taking his eyes off the book's contents.  
  
"What are you reading?" Cloud repeated the question.  
  
This time, Sephiroth looked up. "A medicine book. I'm reading about how to cure a toothache. It's rather interesting." He said looking back down at a large picture of a rotting tooth.  
  
"What are they doing to that tooth?" Cloud asked while pointing to the picture.  
  
"I don't know..." Sephiroth replied while flipping over to the contents section. "Where are the G's?" he asked himself.  
  
"Right there." Cloud said pointing to the G's.  
  
"Wow, they have glowing green!" Sephiroth exclaimed. They both gawked at the book. Sephiroth turned to page 673 and looked for and article that said their problem. After a few minutes of searching through the small print, he found an article that read, "How To Cure Yourself If You Swallow Materia" but, in smaller pint it said "Does Not Qualify Restore Materia." At this, Cloud stomped his foot.  
  
"We could do acupuncture." Sephiroth stated.  
  
"No, I don't think it will work." Cloud replied sadly. He hadn't been this sad for a long time. "What are we going to do now?" Cloud asked both himself and Sephiroth.  
  
Kohaku: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm sorry I haven't updated in soooo long. Well, review!! ^_^ 


	5. Chapter 5

Kohaku: Sorry for not updating in such a long time!! -- I couldn't think up of anything... sigh  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its contents.  
  
Kohaku: Since I haven't updated in a while, I'll try and make this chapter 3 pages or longer. (No ideas! Ahhhhhhh! --) Oh yeah, and I'm changing however I spelt Aeris to Aeris. Enjoy!   
  
After Cloud's question was asked, there was an awkward silence. "Was that a rhetorical question?" Sephiroth asked, reading the page on what happened if you swallowed materia.  
  
"I don't know..." Cloud replied slightly bothered.  
  
There was an awkward silence once again. During the awkward silence, a slight patter started coming from the roof of the crater. (AN: The crater has a roof? That's beyond me...) Cloud looked to see where the sound was coming from. "It's rain," Sephiroth said.  
  
"That would explain the noise," Cloud said diverting his attention to the kitchen door from the ceiling. "You think the electricity will go out?" Cloud wandered aloud.  
  
Sephiroth nodded and replied, "Depending on how hard it is. The only thing is lightning hasn't struck yet, so..."  
  
As if on cue, there was a bright flash of light and a low rumble of thunder.  
  
"That was creepy..." Cloud said, raising an eyebrow. He continued watching Sephiroth flip through remedy and medical books then, if he didn't find anything, put them back on the shelf. So far, Cloud observed, he hadn't found anything.  
  
After fifteen minutes of lightning and thunder, the electricity decided to give way. Right before it did, Sephiroth's expression had told Cloud he had obviously found something in one of the books.  
  
"So, did you find anything, Sephiroth?" Cloud asked afraid to move because he couldn't see a thing.  
  
"To help with your problem? No. But, I did find something," Sephiroth answered, feeling his way to an extra chair.  
  
"What was it?" Cid asked out of interest.  
  
"It was some old information about my mother, Jenova." Sephiroth answered.  
Cid nodded his head in response. Then he realized that nobody saw him do that, so he replied by saying, "Interesting. How old was the information?"  
  
"..." After Cid's question was asked, there was an abnormal awkward silence. (AN: You know, those awkward silences where only talking can break it....)  
  
For a few minutes, there was a strange awkward silence that hung thickly in the air. All that could be heard was the patter of the rain and peoples' breathing, but the rain was too loud to hear it.  
  
"I brought coffee!" Cait Sith exclaimed as he barged through the kitchen door holding a tray full of cups filled with coffee. Everyone was relieved to see Cait Sith, for he broke the awkward silence.  
  
Cait Sith walked to the small coffee table and set down the tray. Cid's expression turned from boredom to happiness, as he was finally able to drink his wanted coffee.  
  
"Thank you, Cait Sith," Cid thanked Cait Sith as he was about to go back into the kitchen.  
  
"You're welcome," Cait Sith replied going back into the kitchen.  
  
The remaining people in the room grabbed a cup of coffee and drank it. Aeris sipped some of her coffee and then decided to ask Sephiroth, "Have you thought of anymore ideas, Sephiroth?"  
  
Once Sephiroth finished his cup of coffee, he replied with a, "Well, not yet. I've practically tried everything. Except...." He cut off while looking at Cloud whose hands had started to grow a light green.  
  
"Except what?!" Cloud asked, wanting to know.  
  
Sephiroth finally decided to continue, "Except, surgery...but, I doubt that would work anyway." He gave a slight shrug, "That all depends, though. Besides, we wouldn't want to spend Gil on some surgery that wouldn't do anything, right?" Sephiroth finished, looking at the group, expecting an answer.  
  
Cloud shook his head from side to side, "No, I don't think surgery would help." He shuddered at the thought of doctors he barely knew cutting up his stomach.  
  
"It sounds more like a last resort," Red cut into the conversation.  
  
Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow, considering on what Red had said. "True, we should try all the things we think might work....So, surgery should be a last resort," Sephiroth agreed with Red.  
  
"Good," Cloud muttered, uttering a sigh of relief, as the thought of surgery escaped from his mind.  
  
By then, everyone was in their on thoughts, ignoring the rain pounding on the roof.  
  
Finally, somebody broke the said silence, "I wish the electricity would come back on..." Yuffie wondered aloud.  
  
"Probably in a few hours," Sephiroth replied shortly. Everyone groaned at the reply, while Sephiroth smirked at their displeasure.  
  
"Well, anyway, Sephiroth, do you have anymore ideas?" Cloud asked, for he had just noticed his hands had started glowing a light green color.  
  
"Nope," Sephiroth answered shaking his head from side to side.  
  
Confused and angry, Cloud got up and went into one of the rooms, slamming the door behind him.  
  
"I wonder which room he went into..." Yuffie, once again, wondered aloud.  
  
"Doesn't somebody need anger management?" Cid asked the group, raising an eyebrow. As an answer, everyone in the room, other than Cid, nodded their heads in agreement. (AN: Not like Cid could see them nodding their heads, it was pitch black...)  
  
"Yes, it was pretty dumb to get angry about something as little as that," Sephiroth agreed.  
  
Red let out an exasperated sigh and suggested, "It seems all we have to do now is wait for him to come out." He saw the faint outline of the group nod their heads in agreement. So, they, well, waited for Cloud to come out because there wasn't really anything else to do..  
  
-- Kohaku: I finally finished this chapter!!!!!! I'm so sorry for taking so long! Not as long as I wanted it to be, but if I didn't end it there, I would have felt like I put in too much information....My last words: Review!!! I'll update sooner next time. 


End file.

Final Fantasy VII, Humor