Once and Again 1. Chapter 1

"Geev uum! Geev uum!" The whole crowd is screaming, when Eli and Jessie arrive at the beach. 

They are still wearing their leis, with which they have been greeted at the airport. Jessie had insisted on bringing their luggage to their lodge first, so Eli had grumbled the whole way. The beach, the surfing, the girls, that was all he was here for... well, ok... almost, spending some quality time with his little sister was another reason. Jessie still wasn't so convinced of Eli's idea... having a great time on Maui... never in a thousand lifetimes she would have thought she would visit Maui ever... But as Eli had came up with this plan, she agreed, just because it was a great, great opportunity to flee from her life... which had been a bit upside down since she had left high school. Boys... girls... who cares here? After Katie had left her, she decided to experiment a bit... with dating boys... which made everything so damn complicated, besides she started not liking it very quickly. Then she dated... well, no one in fact... because every girl that had crossed her path... had to compete with Katie, which made everything some more complicated. On the one hand, she didn't want to be alone, but on the other hand, she still couldn't think of anyone else but Katie.

"Wow! Look at this!"

A broad smile crosses Eli's face. That's what he had wished to see. This was Maui!

"Swayze! It's a Swayze!!!" Someone screams and some guys start clapping their hands.

Jessie notices that everyone is watching one specific surfer who has just finished one of his jumps when a wave broke right him. Eli is completely fascinated. He stands there, his mouth somewhat wide wide open, watching the surfer In amazement.

"That's... wooo... look at that! Jess! Incredible!"

Jessie just smiles at her brother's childlike enthusiasm. There are two other surfers standing close to them and Eli goes to them.

"Ahm... sorry, guys! Who's that?" He asks.

One of the guys smiles at him, showing his bright, white teeth, and nodds towards the sea.

"Hey, brah! Sorry, I don't know the girl's name... but she's definitely da big kahuna!" He laughs and the other surfer, who stands close to him, adds:

"Definitely, but too much pakalolo... you know," he wiggles brows, as if he has said some code word, "she's been here for a few months, driving all the guys crazy... wow, look at that... finishing with a Backwind Jibe 360." He laughs and turns away from Eli.

Eli goes back to Jessie, who has sat down in the sand.

"And who's the guy?" She asks.

Eli grins. "It's a girl!"

Jessie notices Eli's expression and shakes her head. Oh, Eli! Not as if he falls in love quickly, but he's so... easy to impress. But having a closer look... well... nice, oh stop it, Jess! You and your ass-obsession, she smiles to herself... oops, that's not her butt... that's the harness...

"What are you smiling at?" He suddenly feels kind of insecure. Is she laughing about him? Ok, he's a little bit over-motivated when it comes to surfing, but... that's not fair!

"Oh... I...," Jessie thinks a second about it and decides to shock her brother a bit, "I just noticed that it's a harness and not her ass, I'm starring at." She grins, loving it to tease him and seeing how his eyes dilate.

"You did what?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I told you I was gay, didn't I?"

Eli grins.

"Yes, you did... well, not face to face, but this Katie-thing was a bit too couple-ish... but, sis, you never told me, you have a little ass-obsession..."

"Get used to it!" She smiles and as he smiles back, he holds his hand up to give his sister High Five...

"Seems some things are really hereditary!" He jokes.

Maybe this trip was the best idea he ever had. Spending time with Jessie alone was something he had missed for a long time.

"Ah, by the way Jess, you're the smart person here, do you know what pakalolo means?"

Jessie shrugs her shoulders and turns her gaze to the sea. It's so very beautiful... she thinks by herself... more beautiful as on the TV screen. Maybe she should forget about this damn college-stuff and just stay here... no, she couldn't... ambition, ambition... who needs A's anyway? A soft breeze stroking through her blond curls.

"Hmm... why do you ask?"

Eli leans back into the sand into she shadow of a palm-tree.

"Because the guys over there said that she's one hell of a surfer, but has too much pakalolo."

"Ambition?" Jessie asks.

"No," Eli shakes his head, "I don't think so, he wiggled with his brows... made a somewhat funny face as if I should have know what he meant."

"Pot... Eli, I think, he wanted to tell you that she's smoking too much grass."

"What?"

"Grass... pot... weed... even I know what that is." She grins.

Eli sits up again. "Ok, first you tell me, you're gay and now you're THAT expert on drugs. I'll have nightmares tonight! You just started college, Jess. Where will that end?"

"I just assumed... wiggling eyebrows... a surfer... pakalolo... no need to worry big brother." She tries to calm him down.

Both smiling they continue to watch this mysterious surfer ride one wave after another. Jessie becomes aware of something familiar... some certain way of thinking... she could almost sense the girl's drive, her passion... she must be bursting from energy. Jessie smiles to herself, the thought of this girl making a pass at her makes her skin tingle... not that she needed another lousy, meaningless relationship on her list. But, does it matter? It is her first spring-break, maybe she should change something, do something different, to break free of this circle... she likes herself, she likes that she's ambitious, smart... whatever, but she misses this certain thrill... the thrill that had left with Katie.

"Hey... ehmm... brah!" one of the older surfer guys touched Eli's shoulder.

"Yeah?" Eli turns around.

"You seem cool. There's a huli huli at the beach tonight... a barbecue... maybe you and your girlfriend wanna come?"

Jessie grins. "I'm definitely not his girlfriend."

"Whatever," the guy says a bit confused, "would be cool if you could join us. She," he nodded towards the sea, "is there, too. You like her, don't you? Heard how you were asking Jamie about her. Maybe you can chat a little bit with her... if she's not too... well... taken away... you know, brah."

Eli nodds, silently freaking out. He's just on the isle for about two hours and he's already invited to a beach party and will meet the most famous chick at the spot. The guy smiles at him.

"Great, by the way, you can call me Rome and we'll meet at Maui Sunset, see you there!"

When Rome has left, Eli starts to giggle. "That's so damn cool."

Jessie just shakes her head. "It's definitely grass... pakalolo is definitely grass."

"What? Aww, Jessie... leave it! I don't care! I wanna have fun," he jumps to his feet, beginning to shadowbox, "sis, that'll be our best spring-break ever!"

"Totally." Jessie smiles and for a second... for just a second, she thinks about Katie, how much she would have enjoyed it.

And she has thought a moment too long. Eli and her had went back to the town and did a little bit of sightseeing before they got back to their lodge. But Jessie couldn't enjoy it, the memory of Katie had begun rampaging through her head. Why did she leave? Why did she just leave without telling why? The night before they had talked through the night... they had been so close... so close... It was the last time she had seen Katie. No letters, no phone calls. Jessie had met one of Katie's brothers and he had told her that Katie had gone off to college... Princeton as he said, she told him, that Katie just left... and he said that she didn't even call home, that no one knows how she's doing. She just left everything behind. Grace, the only one who knew about them officially, had said that probably Katie got scared of the whole situation... that they had been "too in love", too close, their bond too strong... And Jessie would have understood that, she had felt the pressure too... but they could have worked it out... they could have.

Eli slams at the bathroom door.

"Jess! Get ready! I wanna leave! It just a beach party... no one will drive you over a catwalk. Come on! Who do you want to impress?"

"Stop getting on my nerves! I'm coming." She smiles lovingly as she steps out of the bathroom.

"Wow? Any second thoughts, sis?"

Jessie grins and pushes him aside. No! No, seconds thoughts, but it isn't forbidden to play with a fire a bit, is it?

"No, I just like this wearing this stuff."

Eli shakes his head in surprise. His sister grows up... she definitely grows up and he had already missed half of the show. Jessie is wearing a blue top and a thin darkblue cloth with a flower print, wrapped around her hips... is it too much? Jessie looks into the mirror next to the door. It isn't too much, is it? Oh god, she's going to embarrass herself... she knew it...

"Aloha ahiahi!" Rome greets them.

The sun has already begun to set. The dark blue sky is dipped in to shades of red and orange. Under the palm-trees a big bonfire has been lit and a bunch of people is sitting around it, they laughing and talking very loud. Someone is playing guitar and a few girls are singing... somewhat high-pitched.

Near the water two guys were taking care of the barbecue.

"Come on! Sit down! Have a drink!"

Jessie and Eli are immediately captured by the atmosphere. Jessie refuses to drink, she wanted to experience this with a straight mind. It fells so calm... so at ease and relaxed, she was sure she would forget about some worries here.

Next to her, two girls were chatting about the sails they are going to use the next day. Something about 4.0 or 5.4... then they argued about the wind... side-shore, off-shore... she doesn't understand, but it doesn't matter.

She had to smile a bit to herself. This was definitely some kind of heaven. She is sitting in midst of a bunch of girls in bikinis with tanned skin and a beer in their hands... like some bad TV movie... if it was really funny, she would have laughed. Instead Eli recognized her thoughtful face and grinned at her.

"Paradise, Jess, isn't it?"

And she just smiled back. Men!

Rome came towards them and let himself fall down into the sand next to them.

"Enjoying yourself?"

They nod.

"Great, just get yourself something to eat, if you want to. I'm sorry, but our best chick isn't here yet," he grins at Eli, "I'm not sure if she'll show up, anyways. As far as I know she spent the whole day surfing... the other guys have seen her at the beach only twice... Ehm... brah, have you ever surfed?"

Eli shakes his head.

"No."

"We'll change that tomorrow, 'kay?"

Eli wants to answer, but all of a sudden the crowd gets crazy and begins shouting.

""Geev uum! Geev uum!"

Everyone, except for Jessie and Eli, stands up and claps in his or her hands. It seemed as if someone special has arrived. Some of the guys are running towards a bunch of people that is coming together just a few paces away from them. They hear them shouting.

"This was the most amazing Duck Jibe 540 I've ever seen!"

"Hey, I didn't thought you would survive this da'kine wave!"

"Can you help me with my Swayze tomorrow?"

Eventually all barbecue has been forgotten and all of them were going on rampage. Even the girls who were just a second ago passionately discussing their choice of sail, had left the bonfire to greet the person who had arrived.

Eli smirks. "Easy to impress, those guys. Must be our surfer chick!"

Jessie nods... and from nowhere she suddenly gets nervous. Something creepy crawled up her throat. It wasn't as if she had to make a pass at this chick, was it? She hadn't even seen her up close... just from a distance... she even mixed up her ass and her harness... Rome stands up and pushes and pulls through the crowd.

"Shaka, kahuna!" He says calmly and bows his head. His broad small of the back preventing Eli and Jessie from seeing who really has come, to attend this little beach party, too.

"Pehea 'oe?" Rome adds.

"Thanks, Rome, I'm fine. Just a bit tired as always." A voice says.

"I see you've already relaxed a bit... but, don't you want something to eat?"

The voice laughs. "Totally."

And with this Jessie's heart malfunctions. Totally! Totally! How often has she heard this phrase, this intonation of just a few letters... How often has heard this voice whisper? Some kind of invisible grip tightened around her chest. The last thing this voice has said to her were "Bye, Billie!" and this was almost two years ago... well, ok: one year, seven months, three days and approximately 2 hours ago. She tries to hide her shaking hands behind her back. Eli is so drawn away that he doesn't notice his sister's change of behaviour.

The crowd parts and the girl stepped into the light.

Her hair is bright blonde, bleached by the water and the sun. The top and the hot-pants she's wearing are barely hiding her dark tanned skin. In her right hand she's holding a little black bag.

Rome, who has fetched something to eat for her, comes back and gives it to her.

"Ono!" He grins widely.

"I know," she smiles back at him, her whole face immediately lightening up, "I don't wanna leave, brah, but I need some time alone... I just wanna hear you having a great time... I'll sit over there, please take care, that no one disturbs me, ok?"

Rome nods.

"Of course, honey. Whatever you wish," and he quietly adds, for almost no one audible, "but... no... no pakalolo, 'kay? It's too much, kahuna... and you know it."

She doesn't answer and turns around, walking towards the shore.

"Wohoo! And that's definitely not her harness!" Eli says grinning broadly.

Jessie's still petrified, unable to move or speak. This must be some weird dream... not a nightmare... just a weird dream... Katie! Katie's here. This damn hot surfer chick is her Katie. About 75 of her thoughts are running wild for happiness and the other 25 are so scared that she's close to fainting. Why did Katie left?

Eli hits her.

"What's up, Jess?"

"What's up? Eli! Don't tell me, you haven't noticed!!" She almost screams.

"What?"

Dump ass brother!! She angrily thinks, he can't be this blind.

"It's Katie." She whispers.

And Eli just doesn't know what to answer. He turns around to the sea.

Katie has already eaten up, what Rome has given her. She's lightening a joint as she steps into the water, making a few paces and then standing still, taking a deep drag, relaxing immediately. She smiles to herself... there were only a few things missing, so she could be happy again. Since she had left Princeton her life had begun to improve with every step she took. Confidence is slowly coming back after all mistakes she had made... Mistakes that where somewhat haunting her every night... reminding her of a certain blonde girl that had stolen her heart completely. Yes, Kat! Think about it again! As always! That's the reason why you're smoking so much grass... with every drag you take... her face becomes clearer. Until you see her face again! I'm such a dud! She smiles to herself! So damn, damn foolish! I'm... well, yeah... I was kind of witty until a certain point in my life... but she took it all... all my senses... all my thoughts... And she's missing... she's the missing piece in my puzzle. I was scared! Yeah, right... scared of yourself, idiot!

And with this Katie looks up to the sky, where all the stars are sparkling down on her. And she quietly whispers: "Jess, honey, wherever you are! I miss you! I'm so sorry... and I miss you."


	2. Chapter 2

Jessie shuts the door, still perplexed by what had happened just a few minutes ago. One moment, she's hanging out with a bunch of surfers, admiring tanned bikini-beauties and relaxing completely just because everyone is so damn cool and at ease that she had no choice but follow their lead, and the next moment, everything's crashing down on her. This talented girl, she and Eli had watched surfing in the afternoon, wasn't as nameless as she has thought.

Katie had left the party as quickly as she had attended it. For a while Jessie just couldn't do anything else, but watch her. This girl had been hers... Katie hadn't noticed her and Jessie didn't know if she should be glad about it or burst out in tears. Everything what had happened seemed to be so far away and so close at the same time. She should be angry, shouldn't she? Katie just left her, without explaining why, without even saying goodbye... she just left. That's more than a good reason to really hate her for what she did. But the thought of hating Katie makes Jessie's own heart tumble down in pain. She couldn't hate her. She could hate her if Katie had said, that she had never been in love, that she'll never love her... whatever, but she definitely couldn't hate her for just being scared. Katie never told her she wasn't in love anymore. Maybe she still is?

Jessie steps out of the lodge onto a small veranda from which she can see the sky and of course the sea. A hell of a lot stars are smiling down on her and she smiles back at them. She laughs about what she has just thought. Katie still in love! Yeah, great! She's the one and only girl here, she seems to rule this whole crowd, everyone admires and respects her. Jessie's grin grows wider... I should be jealous! She can probably... no, definitely, without any doubt... have all the girls here, she just wants to have. And me? Well, I'm the girl she left. Her "ex" as they say... wonderful... I'll possibly need a therapist again after this trip...

And Eli? Well, Eli is still with the surfer guys and enjoying himself. He has understood, that Jessie wanted to leave as she recognized Katie... not one of the most auspicious situations... he must talk about that with Jessie later. He knew... ok, he guessed, that the two of them had been dating... that they had been extremely close, but he didn't know why it suddenly ended. That is something he has to find out, in case he starts hanging out with Katie's crowd... which seems that it's going to be this way... so he has to know if Katie's one of the good guys or one of the bad... maybe Jessie left her? No, he couldn't imagine that. She was so drawn to this girl, she would have never left her. So Katie left her? So she's the bad one? He couldn't imagine that either...

The door falls hard into its lock. Katie stumbles over her own feet and bumps into a chair. Her eyes are half closed, so it wouldn't have mattered if she switched the light on or not. Her thoughts were stumbling through her mind as feebly as her body is tripping through her lodge.

"Oh... god... damn... where... did this... chair come... from!" She murmurs slightly annoyed.

But anyone who would see her, wouldn't believe she's really annoyed and angry with this chair, because her face is covered by one of her happiest and sweetest smiles. Her eyes sparkle in the creamy moonlight that's shining through the small windows.

"Damn chair!" She adds and continues.

She unquestionably has to reach her bed. She stumbles again, incapable of controlling her feet and falls directly into her own bed, where she lays still. The rushing of the sea and the palm-trees that are standing close to her house are calming her down slowly. And the bright blue eyes that had become brighter and brighter with every drag will make her fall asleep comfortably and contently. That was for sure! She couldn't think of another way of falling asleep anymore... she tried one time... but she has started crying after just a few hours and sleep wasn't an option anymore... so she got back to this habit... smoking the worries away... making herself believe Jessie was singing her into sleep... this worked!

"Damn tears!" She mumbles into her pillow.

"Damn regret!" She sighs, before she falls asleep.

Katie doesn't spent a lot of time in her lodge. Why should she? She has paradise just in front of her door. The furnishing was kind of Spartan, nothing everyone would talk about. A few different sails and masts were laying in the kitchen, which was also her living-room... but, well, there was one thing which was memorable... which stands out... There was a cover of an old LP hanging on the wall next to her bed. She had cut out the name of the singer and the title... but the rest... just the picture was hanging there, watching over her sleep. No one dared to ask her about it... even if they would have asked her, she wouldn't answer... everyone knew. So they just look over it, like they do with so many other things...

The next morning Jessie and Eli agreed to talk later about what has happened that night and to spent some time alone, just until lunch. Eli wanted to meet with Rome and his friend and Jessie wanted to do some shopping.

Eli kneels in the sand, desperately trying to copy what Rome has just showed him. He has never rigged up a sail. How could he do it properly after watching someone do it only one time? He fights with a couple of tamps, almost kills himself with the clamp-on end of the boom and decides to just scream out loud when the fin hit his foot. A few guys sitting close to him start laughing, but don't seem to want to help him. Rome is away... just for a sec... as he said, but that was already half an hour ago... That's not a good way to impress the girls! He shyly looks around. Well, well... no girls here... so no need start fidgeting... you were great last night, boy... no need to worry! They won't like you less, just because you can't rigg up your sail. Damn mast! Damn, damn mast!

"Hey _brah_, do you need help?" A voice behind his back asks.

Great! Great! Now a girl's asking me if she could help! Wonderful! Just wonderful!

He turns around and tries to look as cool and calm as possible. He won't need a girl's help.

"No... I..." He eventually forgets what he just wanted to say.

Sis, you were such a lucky girl! I just can't figure out what went wrong between you and this... sorry, I have to say it... god'll forgive me... this hottie! He tries to stutter something, but he abruptly gets his speech back, when he notices that Katie is kind of shocked... extremely shocked.

"I'll work it out, thanks." He smiles warmly.

Now it's Katie's turn to stutter.

"Ehm... ahm... Eli?" She asks in complete disbelief.

Maybe she's still too stoned to run around on the beach... maybe she should go back to her bed and sleep a few more hours. This couldn't possibly be Eli. Her hands start to shake somewhat and her breathing is a bit unsteady... Eli? Eli... is... Jessie's brother… Jessie…

He nods.

"Yeah, right. Haven't seen for a couple of days, have we?" He smiles playfully.

Keep cool, Singer! You're completely safe here, it's not that you could bump into Jessie here anytime. It's only her brother, just her brother, nothing to worry about. She seeks for her composure, finds it and smiles back at him.

"Totally. How are you? What do you do here?"

That's nice! Some smalltalk, you'll survive, Kat! There is only one thing that is troubling her: Speaking of Jessie. She couldn't possibly be forced into talking about Jessie. Oh, goddess... she's already thinking about her! I'm curious.

"I'm great, thanks. Spring-break, you know."

She nods.

"Are you alone here?"

"No... I'm with..."

Suddenly Eli hesitates, he can't just tell her... He can't just say: "Hey, Katie. Jessie's here."

"Yes, somehow." He finishes his answer.

Don't ask him! Singer, don't ask him!

"Now, can I help? I know a bit about this stuff, you know..."

Eli laughs.

"Yeah, well. I saw you yesterday... you definitely know the drill, don't you! You were amazing."

She shrugs her shoulders.

"Doesn't matter to me! I do okay... some of the guys over there are way better."

Eli shakes his head. "Don't think so, _brah_! That's what you say here, don't you?"

"_'Ae_," she smiles, "come on, I'll show you how to rigg up this one."

"Jessie! Jessie!" Rome shouts across the street.

He had just bought few new shorts and couple of things for lunch, when he saw Jessie on the other side of the road. He had wondered a bit why she had left the party so quickly yesterday. She had missed the best part.

Jessie greets Rome with a bright smile.

"Hey Rome. How are you?"

"_Maika'i_. Sorry... I'm fine... a bit tired, it was a long night, you know!"

"I suppose it was. Sorry, I had to leave."

"Naa... no big deal, it's okay. I know the guys a bit stress-y at times... I hope you haven't left because one of them made a pass at you!"

She smiles... how sweet... like a daddy...

"No! Definitely no."

Rome winks mischievously .

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey. That's not okay... at least one of them should have made a pass a you. You're gorgeous. I'll talk about it with them."

"It's ok, Rome," she thinks a second... do something different... do it, Jess, you can... she smiles uncertainly, "it really is... I'm not so into boys anyways."

For a second Rome hesitates, than he grins.

"That's even worse. So I'll have to talk with the girls! Believe me, I'll find someone! But... ehm... the girls don't really listen to me... they always make fun of me, could be difficult. But I'll do what I can, I promise."

Jessie giggles. "No need to worry. I'm fine... ok... it's ok no one makes a pass at me."

"At all the beautiful girls should be made a pass! And you are... sorry, I'm babbling, hon," he says kindly, "have you already had lunch? I bought some for me and the boys. You and your brother can eat with us!"

It's not that Jessie doesn't want to have lunch with Rome and his boys, she would love to and there's not question that Eli would love to, too. But, there was this big, big... huge but... that has entered her mind just the same second Rome had invited them. What if she meets Katie? That's possible, isn't it? I'll humiliate myself with this question, I know I will... but I have to know.

Rome becomes aware of Jessie's thoughtful expression.

"What's up? Don't you want to eat with us?"

"Yes... I mean, no... it's just... will... will Katherine be there?"

Rome smirks.

"You mean Kat? Our big _kahuna_. Well, I'm not sure," he glances at his watch, "no, I don't think so. It's rather early. She won't get up this early... ok, she's probably not able to get up this early otherwise she would... best waves, you know. But she's, " he sighs, "she smokes too much, it knocks her out every night, as long as I know her I haven't seen her before three o'clock in the afternoon... she's just too stoned to get up. It's a mess, hon. She's such a good girl, but something has... well, has broken her apart."

Jessie frowns. She had almost forgotten what she and Eli had wondered about yesterday... _pakalolo_, too much _pakalolo_. What happened to the world? Her Katie the biggest pot-head on Maui? There was something wrong, there must be. Katie has never dreamt of a career as a stoned surfer on Maui, she has never dreamt of having no real job, of having practically no future... Up until a few days ago a part of her was almost convinced that Katie had already left the states. That she maybe was in Europe... in Britain... in London... studying in the morning, drinking tea in the afternoon and watching the rain fall down upon the big windows of her loft in the nights. This couldn't be the Katie she knew. She had stopped being her Katie, when she said "Bye, Billie!" and left... just left...

"You don't like her, do you?" Rome suddenly asks.

Jessie doesn't answer, she's still thinking about Katie.

"It's ok. There are a lot of people who have their problems with her. Sometimes she's really weird... I know... all happy, all cheery for one moment and the next you have to be afraid that she'll kill herself sooner or later. Believe me, that's the grass... makes the people all lolo in the head. Come on! Let's have lunch. I'm starving. And don't worry! There'll be no gorgeous stoned surfer chicks around. Sweet little Kat will be sound asleep in her lodge, dreaming of... well, whatever she dreams of."

Rome laughs and takes Jessie's hand, pulling her towards the beach.

As the arrive at the beach, Jessie feels immediately as light-hearted as she had felt last night, when the had been sitting around the bonfire. It was already very hot and the soft breeze from the ocean was barely noticeable.

"Awww... _kahuna_ must have been very stoned last night," Rome kicks a sandy mast-base out of Jessie's way, "she's left some of her stuff at the beach... awful and dangerous."

Jessie looks around and watches how Rome starts to gather some things. A mast, a few tamps... and two big sails... She smiles to herself. Katie had always been a bit messy at times. One of the sails is rather cute, rather Katie-ish, with pale pink and dark blue stripes... what's that? What? Jessie tilts her head a bit to read properly. What is written on the sail? In bold black letters...

"B... B... bi... Bill...Billie?" She stutters confused, her heart immediately tensing and starting to beat hard against her chest.

Why would she write BILLIE on her sail? Then she remembers what she has thought about last night: Katie had never said, she's not in love anymore. Maybe she is. Maybe she's still in love... Why would she write BILLIE on her sail?

"Yes, Billie. That's her favourite sail. Don't ask me, why she has called it Billie... Some of the guys even wonder who this Billie-guy is... maybe a guy who broke her heart. Maybe it's Billie who caused all the trouble she's dealing with every night... ahh... forget about it! Let's have lunch! Lunch! Lunch! Lunch!" Rome starts singing.

There are already a lot of people at the spot, but Eli is nowhere to be seen. Rome throws the stuff he has carried into the sand and looks around.

"Well... where the heck is you damn brother," he grins, "probably checking out the girls again," Rome looks around ,protects his eyes from the sun with his right hand and looks towards the shore, "oh, what's that? I'm sorry, Jess... but it seems our cute stoned surfer chick is already here."

Don't' faint, Jessie! Don't faint ! That's extremely un-cool… it's just Katie. You don't have to be afraid. Jessie starts fidgeting, she feels as uncomfortable as she has never felt before. She's left you, she's left you, so she's the one who has to be embarrassed. Oh, my god! After almost two years... I thought I would never see her again... never...

"Come on! I'll introduce you. She's ok, believe me. Don't make such a scared face! She's really ok."

He takes her hand and pulls her towards the shore. Katie is standing in the sea, preparing her board for a water-start and not really caring about what is happening around her. She's already wearing the harness and starting to step on the board as she hears Rome's powerful voice screaming.

"Hey Kat! Kat! I have brought you Billie! Hey, _kahuna_, I've found Billie."

For just one second it seems as if Katie stumbles and falls over. Her eyes are dilated from shock and shudder and she's incapable of moving. I must be dreaming! She whispers to herself. That's Rome... Rome and next to him... is Jessie.

They're looking straight into each others eyes, bursting from joy and horribly scared stiff at the same time. Katie! Jessie! Katie! Jessie! The air between them is crackling, time started to stand still... as it has done so often when they had been together...

Katie's hand has started to tremble terribly. Even though she knows it's the worst she could do, she jumps onto her board, her whole body still shaking from fear. She can't stand the thought of talking to Jessie... of being close to her... she has left her... she has left Jessie... she can't... after all... After a few seconds she's far away enough from the beach to not hear their voices, but it's not far away enough to calm down. How could this happen?

"Hey! What's up? I thought you love Billie. I thought it was you favourite sail." Rome shouts, completely confused.

"I don't understand. What has just happened here? She's gone crazy... I know this would happen... Why did she just run away... well... ok... surf away?" He adds, shaking his head.

Jessie's gaze follows Katie riding the first wave. She has run away again. Still in love? Then why does she run? Jessie touches Rome's shoulder.

"Don't worry! It's ok."

"Why?" Rome's completely puzzled. Is he not in his right mind? He knows Kat is weird from time to time, but that had beat it all. Why did she run away? And why is Jessie making this knowing expression. There is something going on, he doesn't know about, but should know about.

"Because I'm Billie."


	3. Chapter 3

"What did you just say?" Rome turns to Jessie, making a somewhat baffled face.

Jessie can't figure out, if he asks, so she'll repeat what she said or if he asks, because he really didn't understand what she said. Billie... she can't believe, that she said it out loud, that she said: "I'm Billie." If truth be told she wasn't sure whether she still was Billie or not. There was only one person who called her Billie... and this person... well, somehow wasn't there anymore... so, maybe she stopped being Billie. "Bye, Billie!" That's what Katie said... Jessie decides that it is worth a try to deny that she has said anything. Maybe he really didn't hear.

"Nothing."

"_'A'ole_, I'm sure you said something," he hesitates "something concerning Billie. I heard you say Billie. That's for sure, _'ea_."

Jessie shakes her head and turns her gaze back to the sea. Out there... in the distance she can see Katie, waiting for the next wave. She was still so very beautiful... the cutest girl that has ever crossed Jessie's path. Even though she was completely shocked, her eyes were smiling... Jessie is sure that she has seen this little twinkling something in her eyes that she had seen when they first met, too. Oh, Jess... not again... she sighs. While she watches Katie, she starts to remember : Tad was trying to ask her out, when Katie came, completely excited, bursting from energy... her face beaming... with the sweetest smile on earth... she was so... bouncy... first it scared her a bit, she was so different... but then... she began to love every joke, every "hopping around" like she was about 5-years-old and after starting to love all this she noticed that Katie was so much more than this over-energized girl which she was in school...

Rome hits her.

"Hey, I'm talking to you! Do you know who Billie is? Who's this Billie?" Jessie notes that he seems to be a bit angry... there was something in his voice.

"No. Please... just leave me alone for a sec. Could you look for Eli?"

"Au'e! I don't understand you girls! What's up? Ahmm... I'll just... Forget about it! I'll search for Eli! I suppose he won't tell me anything either..."

"Hey, _brah_!" Eli smiles at his new found friend and is a bit disappointed when Rome just grumbles.

Rome sits down next do him.

"Do you understand girls, Eli?"

Eli laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

"No one understands girls, why do you ask?"

Eli notices that there's something more serious that troubles Rome.

"Well, I met your sis in town, so I ask her to have lunch with us. We come to the beach, I find Kat's favourite sail... then we see Kat... I want to introduce Jessie to her... so me and your sis go to her. And then... booomm," he claps his hands, "they see each other... stare at each other... the next I see, is Kat fleeing in shock and Jessie stuttering something... I scream for Katie, tell her that I brought Billie, that's her favourite sail... you know... and then... Your sister said something about Billie... but... she denies."

Rome exhales noisily and leans back into the sand.

Damn! Not good! Not good! Eli thinks. That couldn't end well! He wasn't sure, but Katie must have been more than shocked... maybe scared to death... was a better expression. After a while he tried to imagine how he would feel, if he met one of his former girlfriends... one of those he left very quickly and without many words... he would be close to passing out from discomfiture. Then he remembers... Billie... hasn't Katie called Jessie Billie? His memory was a bit vague concerning this. He smiles to himself, if she called his sister that way, it must have been quite torturing to see Jessie and hear Rome shout: "Hey Kat, I've brought Billie!" What a weird situation, but it was pretty more weird that Katie calls her favourite sail Billie... he hasn't called anything he owns after one of his exes... maybe... Oh, don't screw it up, Eli! Don't!

"Brah... you seem to know something, too... why are grinning?"

Eli shakes his head.

"No... it's just... we... we know Katie, she went to High School with Jessie, they had been friends... that's it... and well, they haven't seen for a long time."

"That's all? Then who's Billie? They both seemed to know... _'ea_?

"Don't ask me, _brah_! I won't tell you, I can't. It's not my story, ok?"

Rome clapped on his shoulder.

"Sorry, I pushed you. It's ok, you don't have to tell me, I'll talk to Kat tonight."

The swell is rather good and while Katie is sheeting out the sail, she waits for the wave to built. She senses that her mind is drifting away, that she's too careless... her thoughts are too occupied with something completely different. Jessie! What does Jessie do here? There was no explanation for this... coincidence? Fate? Katie aims for the wave's lip. I can't talk to her... I can't talk to her... the thought rambles through her head, while her body just follows her instincts, her daily routine of surfing. She hits the lip. What should I say? I left her... I freaked out and left her... I can't just tell her I'm sorry... that's not enough. She must've been angry... sad... disappointed... she might have forgotten me... come over me... she might not be in love anymore. The wave throws her up, but Katie has to little speed. She feels the pressure on the sail. What should I say? The truth? How does that sound? Her feet slip out of the footstraps. I still love you, Jess. Her hands grab fiercely for the boom, but it's too late. She has lost all control. She'll humiliate herself. And with this she hits the surface and the wave pushes her down under water. I can't tell her I've always loved her. Katie feels the wave crashing over her head... I'm so damned scared... scared to death... another wave pushes her down again. She desperately gasps for air. Then something hits her.

When Jessie sees how Katie disappeared into the water, she jumps up, staring helplessly to the ocean.  
Katie! Oh, my god! A voice screamed within her. Just when she steps into the water, a hand grabbed her arm.

"What do you wanna do, sis? Rescue her?"

Eli has appeared right behind her. They watch the waves and wait for Katie to reappear. Jessie takes a deep breath. There she is! Katie dives out of the water and climbs onto her board again.

Rome has watched what had happened, too. He goes down the shore towards Jessie and Eli.

"She's driving me crazy today! What is she doing? That's a beginner's mistake... how can a pro like her..." He shouts and takes a few paces into the water.

After a few minutes Katie appears near the shore. She's pulling her board onto the beach... just a few meters away from Jessie... no glance... not a single glance. She steps out of the harness and a short bikini panty becomes visible, which makes Jessie sigh... that's my damn ex-girlfriend... think it again, Jess... your ex-girlfriend... Then she notices. Katie's left shoulder hangs down a bit oddly. Did she get hurt? She has hurt herself! Jessie suppresses the urge to run to her and help her... hug her... make the pain go away. Katie pulls the Lycra-Shirt over her head... what makes her groan from pain. Then she throws the harness and the shirt into the sand. Jessie doesn't know what should make her worry more, seeing her breathtakingly cute ex-girlfriend with tanned skin wearing a nothing of bikini or the fact that this ex-girlfriend has hurt herself rather badly... Jessie can't move, she just watches Katie. I'm not allowed, am I? She left me... and she fled when she saw me again... I'm not allowed to help her. Suddenly the sand begins to burn under her feet and the former cold breeze sets her skin on fire.

Rome runs towards Katie and grabs her harshly.

"Look at me! Look at me, Kat? You're still stoned. I said: Don't surf and smoke! You almost killed yourself."

"I'm not stoned, Rome!" She snaps and breaks free of his hold.

"Then what's up? You're acting... like a fucking lunatic."

"Nothing."

"Nothing," Katie storms up the beach, Rome follows her, "Kat, take Billie with you! You can't leave Billie at the beach again!"

She turns around, her eyes full of flaming fury.

"Rome! Stop this damn Billie-shit. Don't ever say it again!!! If this word ever slips your tongue again, I'll kill you... _'ea_?"

Katie is shaking from anger... and from fear. She knows, Jessie must hear... Jessie must hear her. Knowing that Jessie was so close, makes her knees weak and her voice tremble.

"What? It's just a sail! And you always call it..."

"_Pa'a ka waha_!" She screams and runs off to the path that leads to the town.

Katie has ran home and Rome has followed her. When she reaches the door of her lodge, Rome steps onto the porch.

"Talk to me! What is happening at the moment I don't understand it, _ipo_!"

Katie stops dead. She knew it! This isn't about her. It's about him.

"Don't call me _ipo_!"

"_Nau ko'u aloha._" He whispers and anger suddenly vanishes from his voice.

That is something she knew right from the start: Don't try to be friends with a lonely surfer! That won't work... yeah, right... it doesn't work! Rome was a nice guy, he cares for her, he's sweet and kind of cute... but... there's nothing... definitely nothing. She knows that he won't accept that. And he will accept even less, that there's someone that'll get all he demands... There's only one human being breathing on this plant who will ever have her heart. That's what she couldn't bear for a long time... that was what she couldn't stand, that scared her away... that it might have been forever. Now she knows it definitely was meant to be forever... to late... she screwed it!

"No, Rome. And I that's what I tell you again and again. Please, accept it!" She tries to stay calm.

She doesn't want to hurt him. He deserves someone who really loves him, not someone who's just extremely lonely and desperate. That's the word she was missing: desperate! Yes, Singer: You're desperate. Your heart is desperately longing for the touch of one single person. And this person won't ever touch you again. Never! Well, maybe she'll kick my ass... who knows... but that's all I'll get.

"Why? Do you still love Billie?"

Rome's whole expression has changed, the cool surfer was gone. He has let his defence down. Katie has difficulties to stay composed. Can't he just stop talking about Billie? Every time she hears this name now, it's like someone was pushing a sword deep down into her heart. Don't cry! Damn, don't cry! It's your own fault that she doesn't love you anymore.

"Rome, let me show you something!" She says while opening the front door.

She guides Rome into her bedroom.

"Do I finally get to know who Billie is? The man that broke your heart?"

She smiles weakly... Billie, the girl whose heart I broke... he should really stop talking about Billie... it's so weird that I'll probably start laughing instead of crying if he goes on like this.

"Somehow. Look at this," she points at the old LP cover hanging on the wall, "do you know this woman?"

He shakes his head.

"Her name is Billie Holliday, she's a singer. It's a shame you don't know her, she's really talented."

Now her smile grows more confident. It's obvious that it takes Rome a few seconds to understand, then he starts laughing.

"So, it's all about... about a damn singer? You called your sail after a singer?"

She shrugs her shoulders.

"Well, somehow..."

"Then what... why have you been so shocked, when you saw Eli's sister?"

Katie sits down on her bed. Maybe telling him I'm gay and in love with Jessie isn't a good idea, but... it would solve a few problems... maybe he would start let go... and come over his crush on me.

"We were friends in High School."

She could just lie to him... he wouldn't notice and it wouldn't matter.

"Oh... well, I know. Seeing old friends is kind of bizarre sometimes. It's ok... maybe I would be as shocked as you were when some of my old friends showed up here!" He smiles at her comfortingly.

"Yes, it sometimes definitely is."

Suddenly Rome seems to remember that Katie was hurt.

"What's with your shoulder? It seems like it's dislocated."

He steps towards her and examines her shoulder.

"No, I don't think so. I'll see a doctor... later."

"You should... Shall I come with you?"

Katie shakes her head.

"No, no. It's ok. But... Rome, please: Never call me ipo again! Never try it again! You know I'll never love you more than a friends does, accept it... I would miss you as my friend..."

He silently nods and lets go of her shoulder.

"Yeah...," he suddenly grins teasingly, "ok, but can you blame me? You're the hottest bikini-beauty around... and well... speaking of hot chicks... you're old High School friend... whooo... au'e! She's cute. I suppose she was really popular in High School, wasn't she?"

Katie smiles. Jess... sweet Jess... too sweet to notice that she was on top of the most boys' list. But she was mine... mine... mine... mine... She sighs quietly... ok, Kat... huge, huge emphasis on the word "was".

"I'm not sure if I should tell you... but... did she ever tell you she is gay? She just told me... I mean... such a hottie... gay... I couldn't believe it."

Wow, big sigh! Big sigh coming up! At least she hasn't head back to boys. That's good. Very good. Katie nods and Rome grins even more.

"Sorry, Kat..."

"What?"

"I... you have to understand... I mean... I'm a guy... men like things like that... I just..." He stutters, hardly suppressing a giggle.

"What?" Katie barely hides her astonishment... but... a little smile is creeping up her face. She has this vague foreboding that she knows what he's thinking of.

"If I imagine you and her... had... I mean you were friends... oh, I'm sorry... I really shouldn't, I know you would never..."

"What? Have sex with a girl?"

He nods.

Thanks, Rome! Big hugs and kisses! I love ya, brah! Please, remind me a bit more. Just do it! It doesn't hurt enough already! It's not that I haven't had sex for... let me see... for about almost two years! Oh... ok, there was this one time... in surf camp... when... but it didn't work... we just reached... ok... we went up to topless... but I eventually started moaning someone else's name, so she practically threw me out of the tent half naked. And there was definitely no love involved... speaking of moaning names.

"Why are you grinning? Do you have? What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, _brah_! I really have to see a doctor. My shoulder kills me."

The sun has already started to set, when Jessie decides to go for a walk. Eli has already fallen asleep. He has surfed the whole day... well, he tried to surf the whole day with the help of Rome who had come back a few minutes after Katie and him had left. He told them that Katie's shoulder was probably dislocated and that she's off seeing a doctor. It seemed as if they had talked about a few things, Rome was happier than before, still a bit troubled but happier... happier than Jessie was.  
Everything is quite now, most of the people who spent their day on the beach were enjoying their nights now. The temperature has fallen and a light breeze is now cooling Jessie's skin of.  
Later that afternoon she talked to Rome and he said, that it might be a good idea if she talked to Katie. It was kind of sweet how he tried to tell her, that seeing old friends was shocking somehow and that maybe a few words would be good, talking about the old times and stuff... So, Katie didn't tell him about them. He didn't know. She really wants to talk to Katie, but what if Katie didn't want to talk to her? She left you, don't forget it, Jess. Maybe she's not interested in talking to you. If she was, she would have called, wouldn't she? Jessie remembered how much it hurt, seeing Katie being in pain... after her accident... and not being able to help her. Her heart almost screamed: "Hug her! Hug her! She needs you! Look in her eyes! She's almost crying!" But she couldn't, she couldn't just run towards her and fall upon her. She left me! She... left me! Leaving means... "I don't want you anymore!" Doesn't it?

Suddenly she notices that she has arrived at a small lodge. Oh, damn subconscious part of my mind! Couldn't just at least warn me? Just a short notice... like, hey conscious part of Jessica Sammler, I'm walking to Katie's home, ok?  
The small house is a bit rotten and huge palm-trees are covering the whole garden, it has a small porch on the one side and... something that seems to be a veranda on the other side, from which can one look directly to the beach and the ocean... directly into the sunset. The dark sky was lit by the flaming red of the setting sun and already full of a million sparkling stars. There were a few broken sails lying on the path towards the house... and Billie. Jessie grinned. Somehow... something tells her... that this was a bit too obvious, wasn't it? On the other hand: She can't be sure. There was still this damn She-left-me-thought. Suddenly she hears steps on the veranda. Katie's home... she is home. Jessie's heart skips a few beats, the prospect of seeing Katie... of being close to her... is driving her crazy. She can't hold back...

Katie has sat down on the steps of her veranda. Every day ritual... start of the night... preparing her mind for sleep. She has placed the small black bag on her knees... as someone comes around the corner. She stops dead, her heart almost bursting and her stomach making some really... really... odd things... hello, butterflies, missed you guys! What does Jessie do here?

They look at each other silently. The air is crackling, so hard one can almost see the little sparks lighten the dark. The tension is almost unbearable.

Why doesn't she smile? Why's she staring at me? Katie wonders... fearing she know has to listen to a speech full of accusations and full of hate.

Why doesn't she smile? She doesn't want to see me, does she? Jessie's confidence slowly vanishes. This wasn't a good idea... it definitely wasn't.

Jessie comes closer and sits down next to her... taking care of not touching Katie's bare thighs.

Say something, Singer! Just say something! She's completely incapable of speaking. Tonight probably no sound will leave her mouth. Oh... and how much she has to tell her. I'm sorry, baby! I'm so damn sorry! She doesn't even dare to look at her, instead she looks to the ocean, into the sunset.

You have to say something, you can't just sit here. Then Jessie notices the little black bag in Katie's lap. No! She doesn't... maybe she already has... maybe... Jessie takes the bag and throws it away.

"You don't need it." She simply states, shocked by the hoarse sound of her own voice.

Katie's heart tosses and turns. The first words... Jessie's first words towards her for about 2 years...

"I know, _ko'u aloha_!"


	4. Chapter 4

Talking makes the whole situation suddenly more real then they're both able to stand. So they stop talking or at least... saying something.

On the horizon the sun has almost finished its setting, there's only little light left, that lights up the surroundings of Katie's lodge.

Jessie notices that talking is almost as unbearable as silence is. The rushing of the sea and the wind which blows through the palm-trees are all she hears right now... not enough to distract her from the fact that she's sitting next to Katie, only a few inches apart. Close enough to sense her warmth, to smell her... close enough to start wanting to fall upon her. Just a short hug is all she wants. But this hug would immediately make her addicted again... she would want more, the second she feels Katie... that is for sure. So, probably hugging her isn't such a good idea.

For a few seconds Katie stares at the black bag lying in the sand. Was she really that addicted that she can't stand the thought of trying to get to sleep without? She holds back the impulse to pick it up again. Why? Jessie. Jessie doesn't want her to smoke. And she's right... she doesn't need it... somehow... Jessie's here now, but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll be here, when Katie has to sleep. She won't fall asleep in her arms, she will just fall asleep with the knowledge that Jessie was close... somewhere on the island... lying in another bed... not loving her... not talking to her... so she needs it to fall asleep? To ease the pain? Her body stiffens, she's so damn close... I can almost feel her... look at her! She still the most gorgeous girl on earth...

"Hi yourself." Jessie suddenly says quietly.

"What?" Katie asks flustered. She still can't believe that this angel sitting next to her it able to speak.

"You said something with... _aloha_... and I thought _aloha_ means hi or something... so I said hi."

Katie smiles. If they were together, she would have kissed her for this one sentence. Just because it was so sweet... She nods.

"Yes... aloha can mean hi. It means a lot of things... sometimes it's just used to express a certain mood or feeling..." and sometimes it means love.

She doesn't dare to say this out loud. Jessie wouldn't want it. She doesn't seem to be very angry or irritated and for now that's all that counts. But at a second thought: She must be at least disappointed... and telling her now that she still loves her, that she regrets all she did, that she wants her back couldn't be a good idea.

"I suppose your Hawaiian is pretty good. Can you say some more?" Jessie eagerly asks.

Smalltalk! Smalltalk is a great idea, Jess. They haven't seen for such a long time. She can't simply ignore all the shut doors, run into the house and scream: "Honey, I'm home! Tell me, why you freaked out and left me!"

"_'Ae_," but suddenly all she remembers contains the word aloha or at least means something extremely ambiguous, "_o ke aloha ka 'iu_, _nau ko'u aloha_, " damn, Kat! What's up? There's more Hawaiian you know..., "_e hoomau maua kealoha_... and _Owai kau inoa_?"

Great, one of the brightest persons you know is sitting next to you... and you dare to declare your love in a foreign language she might speak. Dumb Singer! Really, really dumb! She's sitting next to me for just a couple of minutes and my mind is completely blank already. All Katie could think of was... Jessie... loving Jessie... wanting Jessie to love her... Jessie... talking to Jessie... spending time with Jessie... and some more Jessie...

Jessie laughs. She has noticed Katie's confused and kind of bewildered expression, while speaking. Seeing her stutter some foreign words was the cutest Jessie has seen for some time.

"There was a lot of aloha... so, you said all different kinds of hi... good morning, good night... something like that, did you?"

"Somehow... yes... something like that... well, ok the last meant: What is your name? But yeah... well... no one really speaks Hawaiian here... it's just kinda cool to pepper your language with a few Hawaiian words... nothing more."

Ok, ok... Jessie doesn't speak Hawaiian. Would have been a really weird coincidence! But who knows?

"It's a beautiful language." And it's even more beautiful, when you speak it.

And then again, they fell silent. Everything feels awkward and so wrong. Jessie already suspects that it had been idea to actually visit Katie. She obviously doesn't want to talk... couldn't she at least say: I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry I hurt you. She doesn't even have to say that she isn't in love anymore, that's fairly obvious... Jessie just wants an excuse, a simple excuse for messing everything up when they were at their best.

Katie senses that something develops into the wrong direction. But, what should she do? She couldn't run away again, even though she felt like doing it. She will never again let Jessie go. I have to say something! Say something! I'm sorry? Too early... too early... what was the last I said? Bye, Billie! Am I allowed to call her Billie?

Suddenly she stands up, she smiles at her former girlfriend.

"Do you wanna see my house? I mean it's kinda small... and a bit messy... and... a bit rotten from the outside... probably the inside, too... but..."

She raises her eyebrows and looks at Jessie. Jessie is speechless. She's still sitting on the veranda watching Katie in amazement... and in shock... She wants me to come inside!

"You don't wanna see it? It's ok... I mean... I hate living there... I don't like it... I just thought..."

Katie shrugs her shoulders. So Jessie didn't want to see her house? What does that mean? No love, no friendship? Just anger... thanks!

Jessie stands up.

"No, no! Of course I want to see it." She answers, surprised by herself... That sounded a bit to excited, didn't it?

They talked about everything except for what they did for the last months... except for happened one and half year ago... except for their relationship...  
Later that night Katie brings Jessie to her lodge. Well, actually they have arrived at Jessie's lodge a couple of minutes ago, now they're standing on the porch, staring at each other.

Being this close to Katie without being able to touch her, was sweet torture. Jessie savours every moment and hates every second at the same time. Why was everything so difficult? Why couldn't they just continue where it ended? In fact it seems as if nothing has changed... Katie was still the same... deep down somewhere below all her cool surfer chick attitude, below her... frustration... behind her mask... Jessie knows there is still Katie, she can see it in her eyes. They have talked like they always used to... about everything that came to their minds... they laughed a lot... they understood. But something was missing and it was not just the hugging-and-kissing-part.

All of a sudden Katie looks down to her feet and whispers something.

"What?"

Katie doesn't dare to say it out loud somehow... the louder, the more real.

"_Ua kaumaha au_."

It doesn't seem so hard to say it on Hawaiian. She can practise saying it a few times on Hawaiian... and then... someday she can probably say it in English. She smiles to herself and quickly, before Jessie has the chance to ask her what it means, adds.

"I'm glad you're here, Jess."

Jessie nods and her heart was quietly screaming for joy. Maybe she doesn't love me anymore, but she enjoys my company... so there might be a chance... for... whatever!

"Me, too. I'm glad you're here, too." She smiles at Katie, seeing how her face lightens up.

Could she? Could she really... her thoughts are starting to ramble through Jessie's mind. Suddenly everything was happening too quickly... and too slowly... or... was something happening? There wasn't anything happening! She just said that she was glad to see her, that wasn't really a declaration of love... but... could she? Her body was so damn tense... every fibre wants to... every single one of them...

"Ahmm... Katie... may I... may I...can we... I mean, can we hug? Just because..."

Jessie couldn't believe what she just said. Did she really ask Katie to hug her? Katie left her... ex-girlfriends definitely don't hug... never... Then Katie's body crashes into her... a fierce hug... a bone-crashing hug... full of sweetness... tender like a first kiss. Ok, ex-girlfriends do hug... hug... hug... oh, my god. Her mind becomes completely blank. She's consumed by Katie's warmth, by her arms wrapping around her shoulders and then Jessie tries to pull Katie even closer, caressing her spine..

Suddenly everything is brighter, warmer... more beautiful. Katie almost felt the happiness creeping up her body. The closer Jessie pulls her, that happier she gets. Why does Jessie want to hug her? Is there... is there still something... even though they haven't talked about what happened yet? Maybe all those things didn't matter. I don't want to let her go... I don't want to. What am I doing here, I'm hugging the ex-girlfriend I left... and it feel's so damn good...

Without really noticing it Katie nestles her head at Jessie's neck, causing Jessie to shiver, when she feels Katie's lips on her skin and Katie's breath at her ear. She couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand being so close to Katie without knowing what is really happening and more important: without knowing what has happened when Katie left her.

Jessie breaks free of their embrace.

"I should... I should go now..." She stutters.

Stay calm, Kat! Nothing happened, you simply hugged her... a bit too powerfully, maybe... but she asked for it, didn't she? She wanted to hug. Was it more than a hug? A goodbye-hug on the porch... nothing more... even though it felt like coming home... at last.

Katie hides her hands deep down in the pockets of her jeans, her gaze has again wandered to her feet. She couldn't look Jessie straight into the eye. She doesn't want to see Jessie's expression... she doesn't want Jessie to see her embarrassment. Memo, Kat: Hug her like an old High School friend! Otherwise you'll scare her away. You left her... you can't expect her to still love you or fall in love with you all over again.

While Jessie searches for the keys, she has only on wish, that Katie looks at her. That she can see in her eyes what was going on... but she doesn't. So what? No love? Just friendship... maybe Katie didn't want to hug so close. But she started it, didn't she? I'm freaking out! I'm already making up things... she started... I pulled her close... and she kissed my neck, didn't she? No... it wasn't a kiss... she just touched my skin... nothing more... But what if it was a kiss?

"Do we see tomorrow?" Katie says silently, still staring at the ground... The roads kinda dusty here... oh, god... focus, Singer!

She wants to see me! She wants to see me!

"Yes, of course!" Jessie smiles.

She would have smiled at Katie and would have loved to see a smile in return, but Katie was stilling evading Jessie's gaze.

Jessie and Eli are lying on a huge bath towel in the sand. The sun is already burning, even though it is early in the morning. Jessie's mood has lightened up extremely, but she still isn't sure what was happening. She has talked to Eli after Katie left, but he had no idea, too.

"Sis, sun lotion time! You'll get one hell of a sunburn... and I don't think Katie will like that. Look around, she's used to all these tanned beauties here."

Jessie sits up and lets Eli help her with creaming her back.

"Thanks, Eli. Are there more compliments to come?"

"No... well, you know I think you're a bit skinny, but..."

He starts to laugh, when Jessie turns around, furiously grabbing the sun lotion and splashing some of it onto his boxer shorts. Then she smiles at him.

"I don't think the girls here are extremely beautiful. Look at the one over there!" She nods towards the shore.

Eli shrugs his shoulders and continues creaming Jessie's back with sun lotion.

"Don't know... yeah... ok... her hair is a bit too blonde... and she's... what about her!" Eli points at a girl passing them.

"Aww... no, she's walking like she's a prostitute...disgusting! And the shirt she's wearing is too small..." Jessie lays back onto the towl.

"And what's with the one over there? The one pulling her board onto the beach... with the white Lycra-Shirt. She's hot. Wow! Look at those legs... damn... baby... I'm your man! Don't tell me you don't like her!"

He looks at his sister and all she does is... hitting him.

"Eli, are you short-sighted? That's Katie!"

He grins. "Ok, that answers the question if you like her!"

Katie notices them and waves. Then she walks to Rome who is standing close to her, they start to talk... obviously about Katie's hurt shoulder, because Rome starts to examine it.

Jessie sighs.

"I don't know what to do. I'm falling for her again... I don't care about how she hurt me... I just... want her."

"Speaking of liking her... so you do," he grins, "look at this gorgeous girl... and this bikini... damn, it's small, isn't it!"

"Be serious!"

He turns towards her.

"Sorry... Jess. I just don't know what to tell you... just: Go for it! It's okay. You can sort things out. Maybe there's still something between you two... I don't know-"

"Hey, _brah_!" A voice interrupts Eli. It's Rome. He sits down next to them.

"Hey Rome! What's up?"

"Ah... nothing. I just wanted to say hi! Great day, isn't it?"

Eli and Jessie nod.

"Yes, of course... but why?" Eli smiles at his friend.

"Why? Because my baby isn't in pain anymore. Seems it's just a bruise... not a dislocated shoulder."

Jessie notices how Rome looks at her... it's a creepy glance... like... Wait! Did he just say baby? That's not happening, Jess, it's not happening.

"You mean, Katie?" Eli asks, sensing that something was wrong... Did he just say baby? Why was Rome calling Katie baby?

"_'Ea_!"

Jessie has fallen silent. Baby? That's disgusting! Hearing a guy call Katie... oh, my... oh, my... don't tell me...

"Are you two... I mean does Katie know... you call her..." Eli stutters and earns a laugh from Rome.

"Of course, _brah_," Rome completely ignores Jessie, "we're... well, we're kinda involved... do you think a guy like me wouldn't pick up a chick like her?"

Jessie's heart breaks the second she hears the word "involved". That's the reason why Katie was so distant... she is with this... this guy. It makes her sick. Katie couldn't possibly be in love with this... with this something... he's talking about her as if she was some piece of meat.

"I... well... I don't know. I just thought..."

"Don't think, _brah_! Get yourself a girl and have fun, like me."

Rome stands up. "You'll excuse me, guys. See ya!"

And with this he leaves. Jessie is close to passing out. Katie not only stopped loving her... she fell in love with a man... a man... she lied... last night. What was last night? That was so close to... to what? It felt good, great... amazing... it was right... the felt simply... sickening. She has to leave. Leave the beach! The island! Katie! Everything!

Without saying a word Jessie stands up.

"Hey Jess! Eli!" Katie's voice shouts.

They look up. Katie is coming. Jessie doesn't know what to do... give her a clip round the ears? Shouting and creaming at her for hurting her twice... the second time even more than the first time... she almost forgot... She left me! She left me! And I thought we could just go on!

"Hey... am... Jessie... I wanted to," Katie notices Jessie's angry expression, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Jessie growls.

"Nothing... so you don't want to have lunch with me?"

Katie immediately feels that there was something extremely wrong. Why is she barking at me? I haven't done anything? Just because I'm here? Did she remember what I did... that I left... oh, damn... I knew it would have been to good... too good to be true...I screwed it... I totally screwed it. Suddenly Katie is close to crying.

"No! Definitely not!" Jessie stated, without looking at Katie, and rushes off the beach.


End file.

Once and Again, Romance