Supernatural 1. Chapter 1

~*~ Author's Note ~*~

This is Chapter 1 of my Destiel Fanfic.  
This picks up where Season 8 of Supernatural left off. Just fair warning.

Everything that is Italic'ed is Castiel's POV he's thinking.

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Castiel stands there in the forest with pain in his eyes as he looked up in the sky to see his kin falling from the Havens, watching everything he worked so hard to fix fall apart. Castiel lost feelings in his legs and fell to the ground, this sudden wave of emotion overwhelmed him as water started to fall from eyes. "w-what is this..why" Castiel said aloud hoping something would answer  
"I don't understand this feeling.. this pain, Father are you punishing me?" Castiel heard Dean shouting his name off in the distance he took one last look up into the Sky and walked off towards the sound and found Dean trying to hold Sam up.

_"Sam. If Naomi was right about Metatron then.. the other endevers she spoke of are true if Sam finished the ritual then."_ Castiel ran over to help Dean put Sam in the Impala

"Dean, what happened?" "I honestly don't know I stopped him before he finished but real some shit is going down" Dean firmly shut the car door and ran back inside the Church Castiel followed behind once they got in they saw Crowley still chained "Listen here bastard. This is how it's gonna be we know a lot of shit on how to take you down now that we have the tablets, I'm gonna unchain you. You come after me or my brother or anyone we've come in contact with and I'll rip you a new asshole, we know what to do with you now we have you right in the palm of our hands."

Dean looked into Crowley's eyes to make sure he got his point across Crowley looked back then put his head down and admitted defeat "I understand you bow-legged twit." Dean was about to undo the chains when Castiel grabbed his arm and pulled him into the corner "Dean what are you doing, this is the King of Hell right here in our midst and you're going to let him go?" "Listen Cas. Angels are fallin, my brother is in real bad shape I'm getting out of here and if we leave him he's gonna escape somehow-"

"Why leave lets take care of the problem"  
"Cas we don't know how! the only way we knew is gonna kill Sam, I'm gonna let the bastard go and then once Kevin is done reading the tablet maybe there's another way I don't know but we can't deal with this right now we gotta get the hell out of dodge." "I- I understand."

Dean walked back over and started to undo the chains and cuffs on Crowley the only thing left to do was to get rid of the Demon trap. "We will smite you down where you stand, beware our future encounters" Cas said as he scraped his foot on the seal to break it, Crowley was gone in the blink of an eye Dean packed up the things still laying around the church and headed out Castiel followed helping carry some of the belongs, they stepped outside and Dean ran towards the car, popped the trunk and threw the stuff inside Castiel dropped whatever he had in his hands and began to silently cry at the sight before him, the sky was blood red and all you could see was millions of balls of fire falling from the sky Castiel cried even harder then before this pain inside was unbearable this guilt was overpowering everything else he couldn't even breathe

"HEY!" Dean shouted as he ran over Castiel didn't listen or even acknowlege Dean was there he just kept looking at the sky through blurred vision as the tears fell down his face. Dean grabbed Cas's face in his hands and looked deep into blue eyes "Cas, You did not do this." Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breathe he removed himself from Dean's grasp "I brought this upon them! This was not supposed to be!" "I disobeyed! and this is my punishment." Castiel didn't understand anything that was going on.

_why is water escaping my eyes, why do I feel such a heavy burden on my heart, why do I feel.. like taking one of those guns and shooting myself will make everything better._

Dean just stood there not really knowing what to do he'd never seen Cas like this, hell he'd never seen anyone this torn up before, he turned and looked in the backseat and was relived to find Sammy passed out he looked back and Cas was in the truck grabbing one of of the guns and putting it to his temple Dean ran up and snatched the gun out of hands thanking god that it wasn't loaded "What the hell Cas! Look I get it ok I do but this isn't how this we deal with things! get in the damn car!" Castiel tried to grab the gun again Dean pushed him out of the way and slammed the trunk shut, and forcefully dragged him to the passenger seat Cas got in the car and Dean slammed the door he got into the car started it up and the boys were on there way home.

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_"Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together,  
Keep breaking me in And this is how we will end With you and me bent."_-Matchbox 20.

Keep in mind guys Castiel is Human now he's never had to deal with emotions this strong before and feeling like he is the cause of killing his entire family can be traumatizing it would be for me anyway, Cas isn't a out of character he just doesn't know how to deal with anything at this moment he will be normal soon. PLEASE let me know what you think so far I know it's not very long and there's not much detail but leave some suggestions for me thanks! if you don't like Destiel then leave.. I don't care.


	2. Chapter 2

~*~ Author's Note ~*~

This is Chapter 2 of my Destiel Fanfic.  
Chapter 1 picks up where Season 8 of Supernatural left off.

Let me know what you think if there's anything I should change or add, my grammar cause I know it's bad lol  
In this story All the phrase's that our_ italic'ed_ are Cas's POV.

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The long and silent ride home was awkward Cas thought Dean was angry and Dean didn't really know what to say he just witnessed his friend try to kill himself Dean's been in many situations even some where he wanted to just end his own life but he's never been on the other side of the stick he doesn't have any clue what to do or say at this point.

_"He's being rather quiet perhaps he's still mad about what happen.. well this is Dean he's seen a lot of hardship perhaps it was too much for him, he considers me a dear friend and I was giving up on everything I should-"_

"uh how about some tunes?" Dean asked, Cas just kind of looked at him confused "Music Cas you want to listen to some Music?" "People singing ah. if it's what you'd like to do Dean I don't mind." Dean turned on the radio and changed the station till he found something he liked the song 'Paradise City' came on and Dean began to pound on the steering wheel like he was playing the drums Cas just sat there and observed and tried to understand the Lyrics "You like this song?" Cas asked "Yeah it's awesome, a band called Guns n Roses sings it, their cool not as kickass as Metallica though" "what an odd name for a band.. Guns and Roses, this song isn't bad though." "Tracii Guns and Axel Rose are the two that made the band that's where the name came from" "interesting.. do they sing a lot of Music?" Cas said "Not anymore" after the first verse was sung Cas spoke again "The man singing his voice irritates me after a while.." Dean couldn't help but laugh after that.

"It's almost over Cas" "Dean.. I should apologize, it must have been quite a scene back there to witness-" "Cas don't worry about it, really I get it I was just shocked I mean seeing your friend hold a gun to there head you just freak you know? a gun can't even kill you but I just got freaked" "Dean.. that gun would have killed me had I pulled the trigger, Metatron took my grace from me and sent be back here I am now Human" Dean slammed on the breaks and stopped in the middle of the street, he looked over to Cas and lowered his voice "What." "I'm Human." "I HEARD YOU!" "Then why ask what?" "Shutup! You were going to kill yourself?! Because of some douche of an Angel has daddy issues? Cas this is not your fault dude. I'm sure that dick was going to make this happen no matter what any of us did" Sam being thrown into the floor from the abrupt stop woke up.

"What's going on Dean?" Sam asked "Our feathery friend here lost his Grace, he's frickin human" "what? how?" "Metatron" Cas responded "Well didn't Anna lose her grace? we just have to find it" "I'm afriad it's not as simple as that, Metatron has my grace he kept it" "Can he even do that?" Sam said "it would seem so.." Dean was getting more and more aggitated he put the car in drive and continued on to Base "Like I was saying before Dean.. I apologize I'm not sure how to handle myself in this state these.. emotions are overwhelming" "Killing yourself isn't an Damn option Cas it's never an option you either get over it, fix it, or hide it"

"I think me joining you will help me repent for what I've done" Cas finished as he turned to look out the window Dean turned up the Radio and they just continued the silent ride once they got back to the Base Kevin came outside and saw that Sam was in bad shape "whoa guys what happened?" Kevin stated as he helped get Sam inside "So much shit went down I don't even know where to begin" "well did you guys close the gate?" "No Kev, like I said so much shit happened but we got both the Tablets and Crowley's at disadvantage we don't need to worry about him just now" Dean responded

"Crowley.. wait, did you let him go?" Sam said "Well we didn't have the shit to kill him, we couldn't finish the ritual, and he would have gotten out anyway so I let him go we have the upper hand in this Crowley isn't going to fuck with us not for a while anyway we got some time" Dean answered Kevin stood there shaking his head "Did you find anything in the Angel tablet?" Dean asked "No not yet.." "Well you get on that I'm gonna lay Sam down for bit, Cas get your feathery ass in here I need to have a little chat with you" Dean gave him a glare and picked Sam up to go into the other room "Damn man what did you do to get on Dean's bad side" Kevin asked with a grin "I tried to commit suicide.. and now he is appalled I feel this will be unpleasant." Castiel followed after.

_ "This feeling.. I don't.. I feel as though I let him down, like I let my family down it's too late to help them there's nothing I can do now that I am human, but Dean I can fix this I know what I must do now"_

"Dean I am sorry, be assured it will not happen again I'm learned my lesson that isn't the road I want to continue to follow I want to fix this state I'm in not run away from it and if you'll accept it I'd like to join your ranks"  
Dean had already laid Sam in the bed and was waiting for Castiel to make it into the room once Dean heard what Cas said he didn't know what else to do so he just walked up and gave him a hug and patted his back in the process, Dean then went to sit in one of the chairs scattered throughout the room.

"You're already more then half the man I am damnit. I don't mind you helping us out every once in a while to start out with but you got to work on some stuff before just jump in you know?" Cas stood there confused for a moment "I've been with you on your journeys before."  
"yeah Cas when you were an Angel, you're human now things are way different now" "well surely if you can handle the dangers of these affairs I can" "You make sound so damn easy, me and Sam have training hell we've been this way since we were kids our father taught us everything we know you've been taught to raise your hand and blow shit up doesn't work like that Cas you need learn to use guns, knives, learn to use the bads guys disadvantages to your advantage although most of the times we wing it you still got to know your shit."  
"I see I must train myself.." "it will take some time but you'll get there and I promise you we'll find away to fix this"

_"I feel as though I should do something to show my appreciation.. perhaps doing what he did before"_

Cas slowly walked up to Dean but because he was sitting Cas didn't really know how to go about hugging him so he got on his knees and brought himself forward, Dean stood up really fast with his face flushed "wh-what the hell are doing?!" "um I was showing my appreciation" "By doing what!?" "well I was trying to embrace you as you did me but you were sitting in the seat, did I do something wrong why are you flustered?" "no no I'm uh just uneasy with Sam and everything going on I uh just didn't.. I don't know" "Oh okay.. I understand, well I leave you to your brother then. I'll see if I can't help Kevin in someway."

Castiel left and Dean just ran his fingers through his hair. "Smooth Dean real Smooth" Sam mumbled out Dean whipped around "You're awake, I thought you passed out!" "Nope" Sam smirked as he looked at his brother "Shutup Sam.. I didn't know what was going on!" "He's an Angel Dean well was.. what did you think he was going to do?" "Hey I've seen plenty of Angels do some fucked up shit. What he was trying to do and what he was doing are to totally different things!" "what was he doing Dean" Sam smirked again "Sam.. Shutup before I bust that smartass mouth of yours" "okay okay I'm done, so what's the plan here what are we going to do?" "right now all we can do is wait and see what Kevin finds out I honestly don't know what else we can do Sam.. You get some rest we won't be doing anything for awhile"

Dean walked over to the door shut the light off and left the room he walked into the main room and saw Kevin at the desk readin from several other books "So.. how's it coming?" Dean asked "Well I'm learning a lot and I'm translating it a lot quicker then before but I haven't found anything that can help us or help the Angels that are currently plunging into the earth.." "well keep wroking on it" Dean looked around and noticed that Cas was no where to be found "Kevin where is Cas?" "I don't know actually he came out of the room back there where you all were then left" "You didn't ask where he was going?" Dean said a bit aggravated "Dude if you're that worried about pray or whatever" "He's not an Angel anymore Kevin! that dick of a Scribe clipped his wings Cas is human, and I just.. sonofabitch!" Dean grabbed his car keys but realized they weren't there "Kevin.." "Yeah dude?" "Please tell me that for some reason you felt the need to move my keys" "uh.. I didn't move them.." "Oh is going to wish he was an Angel. GOD DAMNIT!"

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THE END well of this chapter :D

_"Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together,  
Keep breaking me in And this is how we will end With you and me bent."_-Matchbox 20.


End file.

Supernatural, Romance, Supernatural