Once and Again 1. Chapter 1

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**_Character's name's in Large letters (GRACE) means, Black and white backdrop._**

**_You know the drill- I don't own the show, characters (except for Ayden) blah, blah, blah……………_**

**_I'll see what kind of reviews I get on this- and that will determine whether or not I continue._**

**_For now, read on and enjoy._**

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**_The tale of the unknown love_**

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Grace tucked a piece of invisible hair behind her ear.

"And so……..from this………we conclude that……….?"

Grace rolled her eyes; Mr. Simmons talked as though he had cotton wool stuck in his mouth!

The class was silent, not even Grace could summon enough brainpower to answer this seemingly useless question about their reading book, 'The tale of the unknown island' by Jose Sarmago.

But, amidst the teenage stupidity- one hand rose.

"Ah, Mr. Clymont?" Mr. Simmons sounded more enthusiastic than ever.

"While he thought he was in search of an island……..he found something much greater…………love"

Grace shifted in her seat, turning her head slightly to see the face that belonged to the deep, husky and quite sexy voice.

Ayden had deep, soulful eyes- so dark they were almost black, matching the colour of his raven hair, which was a spiky, ruffled mess on top of his head.

He had chiselled features, and robust lips- she guessed that he was well built, beneath that large brown jacket and khaki pants (he did play hockey after all!)- She felt herself blushing at the thought.

Grace continued to stare, and didn't even realize when Mr. Simmons cleared his throat, expecting her to turn around.

"Well Mr. Clymont, atleast you have one other student who shares you're views!" Mr Simmons said, mockingly referring to Grace- who continued to stare obliviously.

Mr. Simmons motioned towards Grace, and Ayden followed his gesture- looking at her, their eyes locked for a second, before Grace turned bright red and turned back to the front of the class- suddenly feeling the teachers eyes on her, aswell as everybody else's.

She finally realized the cruel joke he'd played on her………..

"Do you agree with Mr. Clymont's conclusion Miss Manning?" he asked, pompously.

Grace opened her mouth, but only a few incoherent murmurs escaped- deepening her red blush.

"Well then I do believe-" Mr Simmons was about to continue- when Grace found her voice.

"Well I do and I don't" she spoke up- causing Mr. Simmons to turn swiftly on his heel, and stare at her accusingly.

"You do and you don't?" he repeated, sarcastically.

Grace realized how pitiful the response was- and straightened in her chair, about to correct herself.

"Well, I do believe it's about love- but you can't put the entire conclusion on that………" she began.

Mr Simmons raised an eyebrow, feeling a debate about to come on………

Ayden straightened in his seat also, eager to hear Miss. Grace Manning's response.

"I think it's about realizing that sometimes the greatest of adventures are right at out doorstep- it only takes a little imagination and courage for us to explore them" Grace gained more confidence as she spoke.

And right when her ego was hitting the excessive limit, she heard a mocking chuckle from the back of the class- from Ayden Clymont.

"You don't agree?" Mr. Simmons asked, looking at Ayden.

Grace turned around, catching Ayden's eyes avert away from her.

"Well, I think that's a very whimsical conclusion……….and I think what Grace just said, complemented my response" Ayden replied.

Grace winced as she saw his back straighten, and his head lift-

GRACE could he be any cockier?

Mr. Simmons laughed- something he didn't do very often- if at all.

"Strange how my entire class of 25 students suddenly narrowed down to these 2 very strong minded people………." Mr. Simmons explained, pointing to Ayden and then Grace.

"I want you two to write me a 1,000 word conclusion on this book" he said, sternly, looking from Ayden to Grace- smiling wider at their astonished expressions.

"Excuse me?" Grace croaked.

"1,000 word conclusion" Mr. Simmons repeated.

"Just us?" Ayden asked.

"Just you two- and be glad I am assigning you both to work together- two minds are better than one!" he smiled crookedly.

Before either could protest, the bell went- and suddenly a flurry of students all headed for the door.

Only Grace and Ayden were left in their seats.

Grace turned around, exchanging a cold stare with him.

Then they both rose from their seats, and headed to the front of the class, to speak with Mr. Simmons.

"Mr. Simmons- this is completely unfair-" Grace began.

"I agree- just because we involved ourselves in a class discussion, WE get an extra work load?" Ayden added.

Mr. Simmons chuckled again, "think of it as extra credit" he said, smiling.

"We get extra credit for this?" Grace asked.

"No-" Mr. Simmons replied simply, "it's just mandatory homework- that I only set for you two- my most passionate students, whom I am interested to see work together" he replied, rising from his seat, he began shuffling his papers.

Ayden and Grace turned and looked at one another, then back to Mr. Simmons- who had just walked out the door- leaving his two very 'passionate' students, with their jaws on the floor.

"You're pace or mine?" Ayden asked, turning to Grace again.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"We may aswell just get this over and done with- so, do you want to work at my place or yours?" he repeated.

Grace turned to him, anger still flickering in her eyes; "fine-" she began, "mine then".

Ayden nodded, "the sooner the better, so how about tomorrow after school?" he asked.

"Why not tonight?" Grace put her hands on her hips, and stared at him accusingly.

"I have a hockey game tonight" he explained, "so, tomorrow?"

Grace nodded, and before she could throw accusations or angry comments at him, Ayden was out the door.

"Fine" she said to the empty room- turning and heading out the door aswell.


	2. Chapter 2

Grace scanned the many textbooks, which were neatly piled in her locker.

She sighed, glad that the day was over, as she reached for her abnormally thick History book.

"Hey!"

Grace turned, almost dropping her backpack, which she was balancing on her knee- Jessie came bouncing up towards her, a smile spread across her face.

"Hey" Grace mumbled, a little annoyed by Jessie's perkiness.

GRACE why can't people instantly know when your in a less-than-happy mood- and alter their personality to suit yours?

Jessie leaned against the locker next to Grace's, watching a little too intently while Grace sorted through which books she needed for homework.

"How was you're day?" Jessie asked, that annoying smile still spread like butter across her face.

Grace let out a mocking laugh- and then composed herself with a straight face when she noticed the quizzical look Jessie was giving her.

"Fine" she muttered, reaching for her graphics calculator.

Jessie nodded slowly; not wanting to push Grace's already bad mood, over the edge.

"So, is Eli picking us up today?" she asked, as Grace slammed her locker door and turned- starting to walk towards the doors.

"I don't know," she mumbled, trying to zip her bursting backpack while she walked.

"I think he is" Jessie replied, answering her own question.

"We'll have to be super careful today-" Jessie added, having to quicken her pace to walk in time with Grace.

"Why's that?" Grace asked, half interested.

"Cause he just got his car cleaned- I bet he'll kick up a hissy fit if we so much as breathe on the upholstery the wrong way!" Jessie tried hard to lighten Grace's mood- - - without success.

"Whatever" Grace said over her shoulder- pushing the EXIT doors open, and stepping into the cool autumn breeze.

Jessie ran to her side, desperate to know the cause behind Grace's bad mood- but valuing her life too much to ask.

"So where is he?" Grace asked, looking up and down the road- Eli's car wasn't in sight.

"Oh- I bet he's trying to pick up some senior cheerleaders!" Grace sighed, shaking her head slowly.

Jessie scanned the road as well- only two yellow buses remained, and a few scattered students along the sidewalk.

Grace turned to face Jessie "this is just great!" she murmured, shaking her head again.

"He'll be here Grace" Jessie sighed; Grace's bad mood was slowly rubbing off on her- or maybe it was just Grace in general……….

"Oh great!"

Jessie turned around, and saw that Grace had raised a hand to the side of her face; shielding herself from someone- Jessie looked down the sidewalk, and saw Ayden Clymont and a senior boy walking towards them.

Jessie had heard of Ayden- through gossip passed between the many adoring female students who had crushes on him……….one of whom didn't appear to be Grace.

Apparently he was a star hockey played- captain of the team, and he wasn't even a senior!

He was also very smart, or so she heard- having run for Student Council, and gotten a place on the board, and also winning the short story competition last year.

He seemed like a nice guy, from what Jessie could gather.

"Are you hiding from-" Jessie began, but Grace interrupted her.

"Ssshhh" she hissed, and Jessie was silent.

The two boys approached them- Ayden stopped for a moment, standing behind Grace who had her back firmly turned to him.

"See-ya tomorrow Miss. Manning" he said, a pinch of sarcasm in his tone, and continued to walk.

Once they were out of hearing distance, Grace turned and watched them walk away- his tall, broad build apparent- she blushed slightly.

"What's tomorrow?" Jessie asked, trying hard to keep from laughing.

"Nothing" Grace said quickly.

"And why did he call you-" Jessie was interrupted, by the squealing of Eli's tyres as his car pulled up to the curb- beside the girls.

Grace quickly went for the front seat, hoping all conversation and questions about Ayden Clymont would cease once they got in the car.

Her heart sank when she realized Eli didn't have his usual thumping music blowing through the radio- dammit!

"And why did he call you Miss. Manning?" Jessie asked, once she slid into the back seat- she tried to add the hint of sarcasm, like Ayden had done.

Grace glanced over at Eli, who was looking in the rear vision mirror at his little sister questioningly.

"Don't know" Grace answered simply.

Jessie let out a small laugh, "he's cute" she exclaimed.

"Who?" Eli asked, pulling out onto the road.

"Ayden Clymont" Jessie replied- Grace sunk lower into her seat.

"I remember him!" Eli said, glancing over at Grace's slightly red face.

"You have a crush on him?" he asked, a hint of laughter in his tone.

Grace turned and glared at him- "your laughing?" she creased her brow, "why are you laughing?" she hissed at Eli, who's smile was getting bigger, the more frustrated Grace became.

"No, no- it's just" Eli tried to explain.

"It's what?" Grace snapped back quickly.

"Ayden Clymont seemed like a pretty cool guy………" Eli began, but Grace wouldn't let him continue.

"And I'm what?" She asked, turning her body to face him.

ELI Err………!

"Not" Jessie answered for her hopeless brother.

Eli smiled, not wanting to, but being unable to stop the turning of his mouth.

Grace shot Jessie a cold stare- in response, Jessie sunk low into her seat.

"Well he's coming over tomorrow night" Grace said, matter of factly.

"He is?" Jessie asked astonished.

"Yeah- he asked if he could" Grace replied, smiling faintly.

"Why?" Eli asked, equally astonished.

Grace huffed, "to see me!" she exclaimed.

Eli looked in the rear vision mirror- exchanging a curious stare with his sister.

Then he shrugged his shoulders "cool" he said, simply.

"So you do have a crush on him then………..?" Jessie pushed- - - a little too far.

"Can all conversation about MY private life just cease as of now?" Grace spat.

The car became silent- but Jessie and Eli continued to exchange curious glances in the rear vision mirror, and tried hard to muffle their rising giggles.

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**AUTHORS NOTE.**

Thanks for all the reviews- I wasn't expecting anyone to read this, to be honest.

I don't know where it's going right now- - -well, I kinda do- but you shall just have to wait and see if it turns into a Grace/Eli fic!

I know a few people liked my last story- but I don't know how this new one is going to go- so don't go getting your hopes too high- - - I might crash and burn!

Thanks, and keep reviewing!


	3. Chapter 3

"Manning!"

Grace turned around, only to be met by somebody's elbow- which shoved her roughly- sending the dozen or so books she was cradling in her arms, to the floor.

"Dammit!" She muttered, instantly bending down to gather them- she forgot her reason for turning around in the first place- and looked up surprisingly when she saw another pair of hands help pick her scattered books up.

Ayden looked up for a moment-his deep, black eyes connecting with Grace's for only a second before he looked away quickly, reaching for Grace's science book.

"Here" he said, handing it to her.

"Thanks-" she mumbled, averting her eyes.

A few minutes later, Grace stood, dozen books balancing in her arms again- she looked at Ayden curiously, waiting for him to state his purpose, but he said nothing.

"Did you want-" Grace began.

Something in Ayden's head clicked, and he cut Grace off; "oh yeah- err………I need you're address" he stammered, covering the sudden awkward silence with a charming smile.

Grace looked down at the books in her hands, and back at Ayden- "Sure" she said, and started adjusting the weight in her arms.

"Oh, let me help-" he said, stepping forward and easily lifting the heavy bundle out of her arms.

"Just a regular night in shining armour, aren't you?" she half smiled, as she swung her backpack off her shoulders, and began ruffling through it- pulling out a paper and pen.

"I try" he smiled, giddily.

Grace scribbled down her address, and phone number.

GRACE why would he need my phone number?

"Here" she said, lifting the books out of his hands, and passing him the scribbled paper.

"Thanks" he replied, examining it.

AYDEN why would I need her number?

Grace opened her mouth, about to say something else, when the bell rang.

"Ok- well, come over at around 4," she said, the smile fading from her face.

Ayden nodded, examining the address, "Thanks again" Grace said over her shoulder as she started to walk away.

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Grace walked into the dimly lit kitchen, glancing up at the clock on the wall; it was 3:30.

"Hey"

Grace nearly jumped out of her skin- as she noticed Eli's figure sitting at the breakfast table, hidden in the darkness- it seemed the house was not entirely empty.

"Eli!" She breathed, frustrated with her racing pulse.

She flicked the kitchen light on- and saw that he was tucking into a bowl of ice cream.

"Your going to ruin you're dinner!" she muttered, walking towards the fridge.

"Sorry mum" he laughed, shoving the spoon into his mouth.

Grace rolled her eyes, and pulled out a bottle of water.

Eli glanced up form his bowl, watching as Grace drank thirstily-

"You're wearing THAT?" Eli looked Grace up and down, while she stood infront of him.

Grace looked down at her clothes- she was wearing jeans, black boots and a red cardigan.

"What's wrong with this?" she asked, looking at Eli.

He shrugged his shoulders, spooning some more ice cream into his mouth, "nothing" he said simply.

Grace sighed, giving in to Eli's words- she walked towards him, taking a seat opposite him.

"What?" she asked sternly.

Eli let out a small sigh, "well- guys like it when a girl makes an effort" he said plainly, shoving more ice cream into his mouth.

"But Ayden's only coming over for-" Grace silenced herself quickly as she noticed the quizzical look Eli was giving her.

"I mean-" Grace thought for a moment, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear anxiously- "I mean, I still have half an hour- I'll get dressed in a sec" she smiled, and then rose from her seat.

"Whatever" Eli mumbled, rising from his own chair and walking over to the sink with his dirty bowl.

He watched as Grace stood awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, not sure of what to do with herself.

"Actually, I think I might go get changed now" She said, more to herself than Eli- she turned and raced for the stairs.

"Whatever" Eli mumbled to the empty kitchen as he watched the water flood his bowl.

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Grace turned to the side, sucking in her stomach, as she examined the emerald green t-shirt.

"You look like a celery stick," she muttered to herself, pulling the shirt over her head, and chucking it to the ground.

She walked back over to her drawers, rummaging for a moment, and then pulling out a purple cardigan, which she slipped on- and examined in the mirror.

GRACE why do I care how I look? It's only Ayden Clymont………coming over to do homework!

Grace sighed heavily, cursing her vanity- she collapsed onto her bed, closing her eyes for a moment.

Ayden Clymont- - - apart from a few class discussions, they had never really talked. Now, he was coming over to her house?

Grace wondered what sort of person he was- sure, he was good-looking, athletic, and apparently smart- or so she'd heard.

She didn't expect to find out the depths of his soul in the hour they would spend together- but a part of her wanted to get to know him, wanted to see that he wasn't just the boy every girl had a crush on, who was every guys best friend- she guess that there was more to him than all that.

She took another long sigh, and then opened her eyes.

"Definitely the green" she mumbled to herself, getting up from the bed and picking up the celery-green top from the floor.

She pulled the purpled one off, and just as she was about to pull the green top on, her bedroom door flung open.

She stood for a moment, in complete shock as Eli's eyes quickly averted to the floor- "Ayden's here" he mumbled, and then quickly pulled the door shut, leaving Grace- mouth agape, complexion drained- standing frozen, green top in hand- bra exposed.


	4. Chapter 4

Grace walked steadily down the stairs, she concentrated intently on he breaths; making sure they were calm and collected- when she walked into the kitchen, she found Eli, his face blank- leaning over the kitchen counter, chatting with Ayden- who had his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Ayden turned as he saw Grace enter, "Manning" he smiled faintly.

Eli didn't turn his head; instead he looked down and concentrated on the bench top.

"Ayden-hey" Grace breathed.

There was a moment of silence, as both Grace and Ayden waited for Eli to leave.

He finally got the hint, "I better go" he murmured, and turned around.

As he walked out the door, past Grace, their eyes met for a split second- before both of them anxiously veered their vision.

GRACE how completely mortifying

"Catch up with you later Sammler!" Ayden called out.

"Definitely" Eli called over his shoulder.

GRACE how completely, totally mortifying!

Ayden stood awkwardly, his hands dead at his sides- as he waited for Grace to speak.

He watched her intently, noticing her usual rosy cheeks were particularly white and drained.

Grace looked up, and tried to smile- though she wasn't sure it came off as happy as she tried to make it appear.

"Lets get this over with," she breathed, silently cursing herself for sounding less-than-upbeat about working with Ayden.

"Sure" he replied, clearly a little offended by her bland comment.

Grace headed over to the breakfast table, shoving aside Zoe's workbook and crayons that were sprawled out.

"Put you're stuff down" Grace ordered, trying to lighten her tone.

Ayden did as he was told, slinging his backpack to the floor and shrugging off his jacket- he bent down and rummaged in the bag for a moment, and then pulled out the textbook, a pen and paper.

Grace sat down, smoothing out invisible creases in her green top-, which she wished, was the purple top- she hated looking like a vegetable, and she knew, she looked like a vegetable.

Celery stick, to be specific.

Ayden sat down slowly, glancing over at Grace- who seemed far away; as she stared down at the emerald top she was wearing.

It reminded him of ripe leaves, the ones in Spring- after being in hiding through winter, and dead in Autumn- her top reminded him of the fresh, green leaves of spring.

"So-" he prompted, looking down at the text book- 'the tale of the unknown island' by Jose Sarmago.

"Did you like it?" Ayden asked, looking at Grace.

She didn't say anything, only continued to stare at her top- wishing harder and harder that she hadn't been so vain and listened to Eli in the first place, and stuck to the red cardigan……

"Grace?" Ayden snapped, this time getting her attention.

She looked at him curiously, "what?" she asked quietly.

"Did you like it?" Ayden repeated, glancing down at the book.

Grace stared at him for a moment- looking at her own reflection in his black eyes.

"Yeah" she mumbled, and then straightened in her seat.

"Are you going to write, or will I?" she asked, suddenly desperate to be alone- in her room, writing in her diary about how completely mortified she felt………she suddenly wanted Ayden to leave, so she could be alone.

"Well, you probably have better hand writing" Ayden said, staring down at the piece of blank paper.

AYDEN she doesn't want me to be here.

GRACE I don't want him to be here.

"Fine" Grace snapped, reaching over and pulling the paper towards her, she grabbed the pen and poised it in her hand.

Ayden said nothing, only watched as she waited for him to speak- he only felt more and more offended.

Ayden sighed, and shook his head slowly "Ya know what Manning?" he said, reaching over and taking the paper from her.

"If this is such an inconvenience for you, why don't I write this up tonight and just put you're name on it?" He rose from his seat, and bent down to pick his bag up………

GRACE doubly mortified!

Grace sighed, "Ayden" she tried, but he only picked his jacket up and thrust his arms through the sleeves.

"I'm sorry- it's just………." Grace tried to explain, pushing her chair out and standing up.

"Don't bother" he spat back, picking his bag up and slinging it over his shoulder.

GRACE why is he getting so mad?

Ayden stopped his hasty actions for a moment, turning around to face Grace, his face was calm now.

"Really Manning, it's cool" he sighed, shrugging off her pleading face.

"You clearly have something else on you're mind……..and I honestly don't mind doing the work………" he tried smiling.

Grace's face looked hurt twisted and furrowed with guilt.

Ayden hated seeing her that way, she always looked so beautiful when she smiled……..though he was only blessed with a smile aimed at him every once in a while.

"Hey" he said, and Grace turned to look into his eyes.

"I'm a geek at heart- this will actually be fun" he smiled, lifting up the textbook.

Grace smiled faintly, and Ayden felt his heart flutter.

"I am really sorry Ayden," she breathed, looking down at the floor.

There was silence between them for a moment, until Ayden finally broke in.

"See you round" he said, and turned, opening the back door- and suddenly Grace found herself alone in the kitchen.

Suddenly the image of Eli at her door came flooding back to her; she grimaced and walked out the kitchen, heading towards the lounge room where she could hear the t.v blurring lightly.

Her frown only deepened as she saw Eli sprawled on the sofa, legs on the coffee table.

She walked towards him, pushing past his legs, forcing them to drop to the ground, as she stood in front of the t.v- blocking his vision.

Eli quickly averted his eyes, staring down at the floor.

"Thanks a lot Eli" Grace spat, hands on hips- daring Eli to look at her.

Eli said nothing, only blushed slightly as he waited for Grace to get over her mood swing and leave him in peace.

"Ever heard of knocking?" she hissed.

Eli's eyes still averted her own, glaring ones-

Grace made a deep, frustrated sigh, as Eli didn't reply- only firmly fixed his eyes on the ground.

She dared him to say something- anything!

A witty remark, a hateful comeback- anything to fuel her anger! But she could tell he was too embarrassed……..and simply wanted the onslaught to be over with, so he could be left to lick his wounds.

She sighed again, "jerk" she hissed, as she headed for the stairs.

Eli listened to her thumping footsteps as they climbed the staircase, and then the inevitable heavy slam of her door.

He sighed, and concentrated back on the t.v- his face was still red with embarrassment- and, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the sight of Grace's white, laced bra, and curvy hips out of his mind……….no matter how hard he tried.

ELI how mortifying………


	5. Chapter 5

**_AUTHORS NOTE:_**

_Hey! Thanks so much for all the awesome reviews! I'm not 100 sure where this is going, but thanks anyway for all the enthusiastic reviews that keep me writing new chapters!_

_Ok, so this is kinda dorky of me; but…………. If any of you are big Shane West fans, then you might just like this……….it's the link, to the trailer of his new flick 'A league of extraordinary gentlemen';_

_Just go to my little 'profile' thing, and you'll see the link in my 'webpage' section- cause I couldn't cut and paste it into a word doc and make it appear on fanfiction for some reason!_

_……….. I dunno, check it out if you are a fan, it looks really cool._

_Ok, as you can see, I turn into a gushing schoolgirl at the mention of anything to do with Shaney Babey! Lol, how embarrassing……….anyway, on with the story!_

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Eli spooned his cereal; examining the soggy, sad corn flakes.

"I know exactly how you feel," he muttered into his spoon, before shoving it into his mouth.

Zoe stared at him curiously "talking to you're spoon?" she asked quietly, raising an eyebrow at her stepbrother when he looked at her haplessly.

Eli ignored her, and went back to stirring his cereal.

"Right-o" Zoe said sarcastically, and slid off the kitchen stool, to put her bowl in the sink.

Lily came bouncing into the kitchen- dressed smartly in black pants and a light blue shirt; her broad smile only sickened Eli.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Lily asked, walking over to the coffee maker.

"What for?" Eli asked glumly, as he stirred his cereal around.

"He was in the middle of a conversation," Zoe explained to her mother, before leaving the kitchen to get her back pack.

"Oh" Lily said, looking strangely at Eli, who appeared to only be eating cereal.

"For work" Lily said, remembering her question.

Eli looked up at her, his eyes still half closed- "nah" he said simply, and shoved the spoon into his mouth.

Lily stared at him for a moment- though, for Eli, it was an eternity.

"Excuse me?" she said, now even more confused.

"I'll call in sick" Eli muttered, hoping that she'd get off his case if he spooned a large amount of cereal into his mouth- it didn't work.

"Well, are you sick?" Lily asked, outstretching a hand to place on his forehead.

"No-" he said, moving away, "just anti-social" he murmured.

Lily let out a small, mocking laugh; "well Eli, there is something called responsibility" Lily began, but as she busied herself around the kitchen- preparing the girls lunches, Eli zoned her out- deciding instead, to torture himself from the inside by quickly reliving the incident from yesterday.

A quick flash of Grace's white lace bra, curvy hips and horrified face came flooding into his head.

As did the image of her standing, hands on hips- and mumbling the word 'jerk', before storming off.

Just as he vividly remembered her glaring eyes- they walked in.

Eli almost choked on his soggy cereal, as she came up behind him- and he felt her icy cold shoulder as she ignored him, and headed straight for the fridge.

"Oh-Grace" Lily exclaimed, "your up late" she added, looking Grace up and down.

Grace turned to her mother, "Yeah, sorry" she explained, grabbing an apple from the bowl infront of Eli- he hunched his back over, feeling her deadly eyes on him.

"Are you taking us today?" Grace asked, turning back to face her mother.

"No- Eli is" Lily said, fussing over the lunches again.

This time, Eli heard Grace choke on the big chunk of apple she'd just bitten.

Grace turned to him as she heard him snort with a small laughter, "fine" Grace said coldly, eyes firmly fixed on Eli- who kept his head down.

And then she stormed out of the kitchen, "come on E" she said hoarsely over her shoulder.

* * *

Grace leaned forward, honking the horn twice.

"Sometime this century" she muttered as she sat back into the seat.

"We've been out here for 2 minutes!" Jessie said, turning to look at Grace in the back seat.

She ignored Jessie, and turned to look out the window, her lips pursed, forcing herself to remain in her seat and not honk the horn for a fourth time.

Finally Eli came out of the house, hurriedly putting his coat on, and scrounging around in the pockets of his baggy jeans for his keys.

Once he opened the door and got in the car, he received all the kindness he expected form Grace.

"Nice of you to join us" she muttered, her eyes still firmly fixed out the window.

Eli sighed, glancing in the rear view mirror quickly- he silenced himself from flinging an equally nasty comment back, once he saw the 'ready and determined to kill' face she had plastered on.

"O-K" He murmured, sticking the keys in the ignition.

GRACE could he atleast say………sorry!

ELI she is satin!

The car ride was silent- and not just the usual quiet, I mean, deafly silent. Cut the hostility with a knife silent.

Jessie reached for the radio, about to turn it on, but Grace quickly snapped.

"Don't turn it on" she hissed.

Jessie jumped back, unaware that someone was watching her.

Jessie turned around, glaring at Grace who continued to stare out the window.

"It's Eli's car, if he wants it on………." Jessie turned to her brother, looking for a go ahead.

Eli glanced in the rear view mirror again, and didn't want to push Grace off the edge.

"Leave it Jess," he murmured.

ELI if this is PMS……….god………I think men should just go underground when women have PMS……….it's the safest place to be!

GRACE I bet he thinks I have PMS……….that's a mans answer every time a woman is angry………oh no………it couldn't possibly be that I WALKED IN ON HER GETTING DRESSED, and then never APOLOGIZED………..it must be PMS!

ELI she couldn't possibly still be lingering on that 'incident'?

GRACE I bet that's what he is thinking……….geez………men!

Jessie huffed "fine, have it HER way" and sat back in the seat.

Not too soon, Eli pulled up to the curb outside the school- Jessie and Zoe hurriedly clambered out, and practically ran to the front door.

But Grace was more lethargic, slowly opening the door, stepping one foot out onto the pavement.

"Grace" Eli murmured, loud enough to stop Grace's movements.

She waited for him to go on- waited for him to say those words……….

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking down at his hands as they clasped the steering wheel.

Grace huffed, a tad offended by his carefree apology, and Eli gave a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry for……..err………not knocking" he said vaguely, as he ran his index finger over the steering wheel.

Grace huffed again, and slid back into her seat, slamming the door behind her.

"Because of you- Ayden left" Grace sniggered, crossing her arms, she stared coldly at the back of Eli's mattered bed hair.

This time, Eli huffed; about to explode by her claim, he turned around, and stared into Grace's glaring eyes.

"How do you figure that?" he asked, angrily.

Grace let out a mocking, bitter laugh- and leaned forward slightly, "because- after what you put me through I couldn't think straight……..Ayden got offended by my lack of interest……and he left!" Grace spat.

Eli gave a snorted laugh, "Oh please, you two weren't on a date or anything……..it was a study session for god sake!" Eli sniggered, and instantly regretted his words.

Grace had clearly hinted to him and Jessie yesterday that Ayden was coming over for a date- god knows why she would say such a thing……….but Eli guess that now she'd been caught out, she would be completely embarrassed.

"How do you know?" Grace asked, angrily, crossing her hands tighter across her chest.

Eli sighed, "Ayden told me- while we were talking………it's no big deal………but………" Eli tried to explain, to ease the embarrassment Grace would surely be feeling………but she didn't give him a chance.

She quickly opened the door, slammed it, and ran towards the school building- all in one swift motion.

"Good going" Eli breathed, as he started the engine again.


	6. Chapter 6

Eli was leaning against his car, dressed in his old brown leather jacket, rusty denim jeans, and his favourite 'rolling stones' t-shirt.

His hair was in a ruffled mess, and there were bags' forming under his eyes from hours of practicing on his guitar, instead of sleeping- truth was, he hadn't tried hard to impress anyone in particular when he got dressed.

He just threw on what ever he could scrounge off the floor- but no matter how un-hard he tried, he still looked handsome.

Deep, dark, mysterious handsome- the kind of handsome that attracts all girls……..he couldn't help it………the boy was hot.

And the fact that he was leaning against his beaten up, red, 1989 commodore probably only added to his appeal- especially to the freshmen girls!

But Eli didn't notice as the many girls who walked past him, heading towards their buses, or walking home- smiled at him, winked and looked back, in hope that he would catch a glimpse of them.

He didn't notice, he didn't care- which only added to his enticing appeal………

He only looked out for one girl- his step sister- and current number one enemy- Grace Manning.

"Come on" he muttered to himself, as he dug his hands deeper into his pockets- school had gotten out 20 minutes ago, and Grace was usually one of the first out.

He guessed she was being deliberately late, just to annoy him.

Or maybe she'd organized to go to a friends house, like Jessie and Zoe had done, in order to avoid him- - - and by not telling him, piss him off big time, by making him stand in front of his old high school for god knows how long, looking like some sort of pervert, Uni drop out trying to pick up cheerleaders……….."dammit" he cursed to himself, as Grace's plan began to unravel in his mind!

"Sammler!"

Eli turned to look down the sidewalk, and saw Ayden walking towards him.

"Great" Eli mumbled, but half smiled none the less as Ayden approached him.

"Hey man" Eli greeted him.

Ayden smiled faintly, "waiting for Grace?" he asked- and Eli was sure his smile grew a fraction as he spoke her name……….

"Yeah, waiting" Eli murmured, looking behind Ayden at the school doors- still no sign of her.

"So am I" Ayden explained, digging his hands into the pockets of his black jacket, "haven't seen her all day" he muttered, turning around to look at the same school doors Eli was staring at.

ELI I hope she wasn't in the toilets crying or anything……….

Eli looked down at Ayden for a moment.

He had the same dark and mysterious quality as Eli- maybe more so because of his darkened brown eyes, which were almost, black, and deep raven hair.

His olive complexion only added to his unique, yet handsome look.

And he was tall, almost as tall as Eli- and built, not too 'tanky', but toned enough to be impressive………

Eli sighed, knowing he had to ask the question………..

"So, you and Grace?" Eli implied.

Ayden turned around, his faint smile replaced with a quizzical look.

"Me and Grace?" he asked.

Eli let out a small laugh, "I know you two are 'study buddies'………." He smiled, searching Ayden's curious look for answers.

"Yeah-?" Ayden urged him to go on.

"Your not, 'into' her or anything, are you?" Eli asked, a slight laughter in his voice.

Ayden didn't say anything for a long time, long enough for Eli to drop his laughing tone.

"You are?" Eli asked, suddenly becoming a little anxious to know Ayden's direct answer.

He looked away, staring at the school doors again- still no Grace.

"Dunno," he mumbled, simply.

Eli stared at the back of his raven hair for a moment; not sure whether he should play the big brother role and ask Ayden for his intentions……..or simply stick his nose out of it.

"Well………" Eli began, but he silenced himself when Ayden turned around to look at him again.

"Don't worry Sammler- she'd never go for me, so you can forget giving me the protective older brother speech" he smiled, which put Eli at ease- but only a little.

Eli became a little nervous, "Yeah, of course, your right……….Err………I mean" he mumbled, not sure if he'd insulted Ayden, or if he should feel relief………

Ayden smiled, "I mean, Grace is really great." Ayden's smile only grew wider, that much was obvious- "-and she is so beautiful" he looked down at the ground, and Eli saw a tinge of red fill his cheeks.

"And smart, friendly, confident………..she's practically perfect"

ELI am I hearing right?"

"Umm……." Eli murmured- the sudden flash of Grace's curvy body entering his mind again.

Ayden looked up, and let out a small laugh at Eli's horrified face- "but you are her step brother, and you probably don't see those things".

ELI (looking distant) No…….I'm not supposed to see those things.

Eli looked at Ayden- he was a good-looking guy, who'd had his fair share of girlfriends.

Ayden had become really good friends with a few of Eli's basketball team mates, after they asked him to join their basement band, Ayden played the drums.

And ever since then, he'd always hung out with seniors- even though he was only in the eleventh grade.

His popularity only increased when he got a spot on the hockey team- and now was the captain.

But on top of all that, he was smart- really smart.

And Eli had always been sort of jealous of him because of it- he could be the jock and the geek at the same time, and still be cool.

Eli was only ever a jock.

He seemed to be an all round great guy- he really was- so why wouldn't Grace go for him?

"How do you know your not Grace's type?" Eli asked.

Ayden looked down at the ground again, "well, I think I am" he said quietly. Which only sparked Eli's interest to know more.

"But, why would she go for me, when she could have her pick of any guy?" Ayden asked, looking up at Eli.

ELI I'm lost here……….

"What do you mean, 'any guy'?" He asked, trying hard to keep the amused laughter from his tone.

Ayden laughed aswell, though not for the same reason as Eli.

"You really haven't noticed, have you?" Ayden asked.

Eli shook his head, "what?"

"Grace is beautiful!" Ayden exclaimed, "and ever since that whole thing with the teacher-"

"Dimitri" Eli supplemented.

"Yeah, Dimitri- well she's been getting noticed by all the guys. Maybe cause of the older man thing………or the 'girl next door' look……there are a lot of reasons why practically every guy wants to date her!" Ayden smiled at Eli's astonished face.

ELI yeah………not supposed to notice………..

"Really?" Eli asked, standing up straight, and taking his hands out of his pockets.

"Yeah- really!" Ayden replied, turning round quickly for one last look at the school doors.

"I better get going," he said, realizing Grace wouldn't be coming.

"Yeah, see ya" Eli said, a little dazed.

Ayden started walking away, and then turned, "tell Grace I'll call her!" he shouted over his shoulder.

Eli half nodded.

ELI isn't it weird, when somebody explains something seemingly ordinary and un-important to you- in a really passionate way, and suddenly something you probably never really took notice of before- becomes beautiful.

I mean………..beautiful!

Eli was in such a daze, he didn't even notice as Grace came walking towards him.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," She said, sarcastically, knowing perfectly well she'd kept him waiting- even though she'd only been sitting in the library for 20 minutes.

Eli looked at her- and suddenly noticed how soulful her dark eyes were.

"It's fine," he muttered, walking around to the driver's side of the car.

When he hoped in, he couldn't help but look over at Grace- and he noticed how rosy pink her cheeks were………..

Grace felt his eyes on her, and turned to look at him, angrily- "what?" she spat.

"Nothing" Eli half smiled, as he turned the key in the ignition.

ELI not supposed to notice……………

"Fine" Grace said, looking out the window.

Eli couldn't help but laugh at her stubbornness.

ELI but I do.


	7. Chapter 7

Grace put her hand on the door- about to leap out of the car.

But Eli stopped her, by resting his hand on her shoulder.

She turned to him, seeing an earnest almost solemn face.

"Grace" he said quietly.

Grace's face softened for a moment, and she stared into his hazel green eyes- but she quickly remembered her agenda; "what?" she snapped, shrugging his hand off.

Eli shook his head lightly, "just stop, ok?" he asked pleadingly.

GRACE it's easier to hate him……..

Grace sighed, a deep, aggressive sigh- and sharpened her glare.

"Excuse me?" she asked hoarsely.

"Look………. I didn't mean to walk in on you, honestly" Eli began, shifting in his seat as he remembered the 'incident'.

"And I'm sorry if, because of me, Ayden left- though I fail to see how that's my fault" Eli turned to Grace, half smiling- but the smirk quickly dissolved as he saw himself staring into Grace's stone face.

"And- - -I'm sorry for saying you and Ayden were 'study buddies'…… if it embarrassed you or anything………cause you implied that you two were having a 'date……….." Eli was about to continue, but Grace stopped him- not wanting him to dig her embarrassment in any deeper.

"Ok" she nodded quickly, tucking a piece of invisible hair behind her ear.

She turned to stare at the front door- Eli's apology lingering.

GRACE its easier to hate him……..because that way I don't have to think about how much I……..

Eli waited patiently, studying Grace's silky hair as her face was turned away from him.

"Your forgiven" she said, in a soft whisper.

Before Eli could say anything, Grace opened the car door, and had started walking towards the front door- leaving Eli alone in the car, a small smile spreading across his face.

GRACE how much I ………….don't hate him? (Looks conflicted)

Grace stepped inside, peeling off her jacket and draping it over the stair banister.

She slowly walked up the stairs, and into her room- heading to the bathroom.

She splashed some water on her blushing, red face; and as she dried herself, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror- smiling slightly.

GRACE how, I don't hate him at all. I never could………..no matter how hard I pretend to.

* * *

Eli strummed the last note on his guitar- the melodic sound lingering in the echoing garage for a moment.

He glanced down at his watch, 6:30- it had been a few hours now since he and Grace had got home (and settled their argument).

And he figured that if he went up now, he wouldn't look so desperate and keen.

So he got off his bed, carefully placing his guitar down- and walked back into the house, Lily greeting him instantly as she walked past him with a basket full of laundry.

"Eli" Lily exclaimed, a little surprised to see him.

"Lily" Eli replied flatly.

"You've been hiding away in the garage all night" Lily said over her shoulder, as they both started climbing the stairs.

"Err……I guess" Eli replied, scratching the back of his head.

"I don't mind or anything………but……….maybe a nice walk would do you some good" Lily turned around as they reached the top of the stairs, smiling briefly at Eli.

"Maybe" Eli returned, with a faint smile- as he walked towards Grace's door.

Lily watched him, as he knocked, and received the muffled 'ok' from Grace to enter.

She raised an eyebrow; trying to remember the last time Eli went to visit Grace in her room.

"Oh well" Lily mumbled, as she walked into Zoe's room.

* * *

_Sweet is the sight  
of her room  
window opened by candlelight  
how would you know  
cold winter on the shore  
chills the dress she wore  
it's on the floor  
still it still feels warm today_

Grace bobbed her head in time with the soft tune.

_And that's why  
I'm wondering why you had to tell me  
what's going on  
in your head  
what's wrong  
come around to another time when  
you don't have to run_

She heard a muffled knock on her door- and peeled her headphones off to listen out for it again.

'Knock, Knock'

"Come in" she cried out, and the door opened slightly, Eli stepping into her room and closing the door behind him.

"Eli" Grace pressed the 'off' button on her Discman, and sat up on her bed.

"Err…….hey" Eli mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Grace nervously whisked a piece of hair out of her face, and looked at Eli curiously.

He looked at her for a moment; studying her face carefully, Ayden's words in the back of his mind; "there are a lot of reasons why practically every guy wants to date her"…………….Eli half smiled, and Grace adjusted her body nervously.

"Did you want something?" she asked softly.

"Oh, yeah, actually" Eli smiled, walking around Grace's room slowly- examining the photo's on her desk.

There was only one with him in it- from Rick and Lily's wedding.

Grace followed him, waiting for him to say more- he finally turned around, his hands still in his pockets told her he was slightly nervous.

"So, I'm glad we cleared that whole thing up………" Eli started.

Grace fixed her hair again, not sure where the conversation was going; "yeah, me too" she said softly.

ELI this is normal……….a normal thing for a stepbrother to do with his stepsister.

"I hate it when you're mad at me" Eli continued, letting out a small sigh as he saw Grace's face blush slightly.

GRACE I could never be mad………..

"Yeah?" Grace asked timidly.

Eli smiled in response, and continued; "so, are you doing anything special this weekend?" Eli asked, averting his eyes from Grace's- he looked nervously around her room again.

Grace felt her heart race, slightly, though she wasn't sure why.

Eli looked back over at her- waiting for a response, and just as she opened her mouth- the phone's piercing ring interrupted her.

Grace half smiled, and turned away from Eli's captivating gaze- digging through the pile of clothes on her bed to find the phone.

The more she rummaged, the louder the ringing became- until finally, she found the phone, and held it to her ear.

She mouthed 'just a second' to Eli, who nodded.

"Hello?" Grace asked timidly, and slightly frustrated.

Her expression completely changed as she breathed the next words, "Ayden, hey!" she smiled, turning her body away from Eli.

ELI I was just wondering………if you'd want to go see a movie or something………..my treat, as a final apology?

Grace let out a small laugh, as Ayden, no doubt said something cool and witty.

Her blush deepened as he spoke to her, and she held the phone closer to her ear.

"This weekend?" she asked, turning quickly to Eli, who had to pick his jaw up from the floor- and replace his devastated expression with a smile and nod, "never mind" he mumbled.

Grace mouthed 'thankyou' and watched as Eli walked to the door, turning around before walking out, he half smiled, to let Grace know there were no hard feelings.

"Yeah, I'm free………what did you have in mind?" Grace continued, as Eli left her room.

ELI never mind………. Stupid idea……….forgive me for asking

Eli leaned against Grace's closed door, listening to little muffled snippets of her conversation.

"Sorry about the other day"

"You were looking for me today, why?"

"So what movie do you want to see tomorrow?"

Eli sighed as he heard Grace's conversation continue- and guessed she'd be on the phone all night.

"Another time" Eli whispered to himself, as he headed down the stairs again- - - wondering how he'd gone from being on a complete high 5 minutes ago, to crashing down to an absolute low?

Of course………it was Grace Manning……..and the way she unknowingly played Eli's heart strings……….

ELI she has that effect on me…………

* * *

**_AUTHORS NOTE:_**  
Song Grace was listening to was 'Howie Day's'- she says.

Thanks for all the reviews……check back soon for next capter!


	8. Chapter 8

Grace twirled her hair into a bun, and pulled it on top of her head- turning this way and that, as she examined herself in the bathroom mirror at school.

She heard a toilet flush, and her friend Amanda emerged- walking over to Grace to wash her hands.

"I look like a spinster" Grace frowned, letting her hair fall and drop down her shoulders.

Amanda let out a small laugh as she walked to the dryer; "what's with the sudden 'bad hair day' crisis?" she asked, flipping her curly golden locks to one side.

Grace watched her in the mirror, wishing she had her hair- instead of her own boring, dead straight brown rat hair.

"Nothing" Grace said simply, slinging her backpack off her shoulder, she started digging around for a lip-gloss.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you have English next……..and a certain Ayden Clymont is in your class?" Amanda asked slyly, snatching Grace's cherry lip-gloss, and putting it on her own red lips.

"Shut up!" Grace half smiled at the mention of Ayden's name, but still remained defensive- swiping the lip-gloss out of Amanda's hand, and trying her best to scowl at her.

"Whatever!" Amanda laughed, flipping her hair one more time as she adjusted the too-tight pink top she had on.

"Not to menton the fact that you and him have a date tonight!" Amanda added, turning on her heel and heading for the door.

Grace's jaw was hanging on the floor of the girl's bathroom as she saw her friend breeze out the door-

GRACE is it at all possible for human beings NOT to gossip? Or do we have some kind of defect that makes us cling onto information and pass it to other human beings?…………..

Grace quickly regained consciousness, and ran out the door- looking up and down the crowded hallway, she found Amanda's golden locks bobbing along- and ran towards her.

"Amanda- how did you………?" Grace began, a little puffed, but Amanda cut her off

"Heard it round" she said simply, looking down and smiling at Grace's bewildered face.

GRACE like passing on a virus!

"But how………" Grace began again.

The two girls stopped walking as they reached Amanda's locker- "oh Grace……….you can be so……..blind sometimes!" Amanda smiled as she unlocked her locker, and began rifling through her books.

"What?" Grace asked, trying to make sense of Amanda's words.

"Ayden is so damn excited to be going on a date with you……..he told the entire hockey team this morning at practice………they told their girlfriends……….their girlfriends are all big mouthed sluts who told other big mouthed sluts who told their jock boyfriends………" Amanda continued to speak, but Grace only half listened.

"……….And it eventually spread throughout the entire school" Amanda turned to see Grace's blank face.

"It will be broadcast over the loud speaker today at 2:00" Amanda said seriously- making Grace look at her with such a horrified expression, she had to laugh.

"Shut up" Grace said unenthusiastically- allowing Amanda's words to wash over her.

Amanda let out a small laugh; and put a heavy hand on Grace's shoulders.

"Don't blame him Grace, the boys smitten with you!" Amanda smiled warmly, and walked past Grace, to catch up with a few girls who were heading towards maths.

GRACE then again………..not all viruses can be bad.

* * *

Ayden's heart and smile lifted as Grace entered the class room- she shot him a blushing smile, and sat down two seats in front of him.

He contemplated asking Jeremy Higgins, the boy behind Grace, if he would swap- but thought it would make him look to desperate and clingy.

Grace turned around, and looked past Jeremy, and Bianca, the girl sitting in front of Ayden.

Ayden leaned forward, looking past the people in front of him, to see Grace's face; "will I pick you up tonight?" Ayden asked, half smiling.

Grace gave him a small nod, "yeah, around 6:30?" she asked, unable to control her blushing cheeks.

"Sounds good" Ayden replied, trying to control his smile- he hoped it wasn't too wide.

"Yeah" Grace said quietly.

"It's a date then" Ayden said, before sitting back in his seat as Mr. Simmons entered the class.

Grace reluctantly turned around……..not really listening as Mr. Simmons talked about the English essay due in next Thursday……

GRACE a DATE? As in, a test run to see if we are boyfriend and girlfriend……….or just a friend date?………or a study buddy date?

Grace nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, trying to sort her raging thoughts out………

* * *

The second the bell went, everyone hastily rose from their seats and ran for the door- eager to leave the stuffy English classroom.

"Don't forget- - - essay, next Thursday!" Mr. Simmons called out to the racing students.

Grace nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, as she saw out of the corner of her eye- Ayden approach her.

He waited until Mr. Simmons had left, before looking down at Grace.

"Hey, you going to lunch now?" he smiled.

Grace turned around, and looked up- trying her best to smile.

"Err…….. I guess……" She began.

Ayden could tell something was on her mind, and sure enough, Grace aired her thoughts.

"Ayden-" she began, feeling the tension rise in her throat; "this 'date'…………..well, I was just wondering- - -" Grace tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, realizing she'd done this several times already, but unable to stop herself; "well, is this a friend date, a study buddy thing………a 'get to know you better'………." Grace opened her mouth, about to continue, but Ayden stopped her.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see" he said simply; and before Grace could open her mouth, he'd flashed her a kind smile, and turned to walk away, calling out over his shoulder, "see you at 6:30".

"Yeah………..seeya" Grace replied to the empty classroom- finding herself more confused than ever.


	9. Chapter 9

Eli opened the fridge door- and stared into the seemingly empty space before him.

"There's nothing to eat"

Eli closed the door and looked over his shoulder, to find Jessie staring back at him, he nodded slowly; "so it would seem," he mumbled.

Jessie watched as Eli walked towards the cupboards, and began rifling through them; "so why are you still looking?" she asked, a little icily.

Eli paused, hands still pressed against the cupboard doors; "I'm looking for a miracle!" he said, sarcastically, and continued to push the tins of baked beans and ketchup sauce aside.

He heard Jessie sigh, and then the thump of her heavy backpack on the tiled floor; something was clearly on her mind- and Eli half hoped she wouldn't share her dilemma with him- he had enough of his own problems, and no room or time to deal with her ontop of everything else………

"I hate my life" Jessie sighed.

"Great" Eli muttered quietly to himself.

"What did you say?" Jessie shot back- angrily.

Eli lowered his arms, and turned to face his sister, a defeated look on his face as he leaned against the kitchen bench, and crossed his arms- she was looking for a fight……..and Eli would gladly take her bitterness, if that's what she needed.

"Do you care at all about how completely and totally miserable I am?" She spat out, trying to blink back tears.

Eli looked down at the tiled kitchen floor; speechless- though he knew that if he did indeed have words of wisdom to share with her……..she would be in too stubborn a mood to listen!

"Sorry Jess" he mumbled.

"God!" Jessie sighed, the shaky tone of her voice obvious- "why is everybody's life so perfect………..except mine?" she asked nobody in particular.

"If it's any consolation……...my life sucks big time at the moment!" Eli half smiled, hoping his own sadness would lift her spirits- it didn't.

"I mean………..dad and Lily have each other, Judy has Will………Zoe got the lead in her dance recital………..you just got this great new job……….Grace has a date and possible new boyfriend……………." Jessie sighed, thumbing away the single tear that escaped her watery eye.

ELI why would I care?

"What?" Eli uncrossed his arms and stood straight, looking pointedly at Jessie- waiting for some sort of reaction.

She took a small breath and looked at her brother curiously………"my life is pathetic…….." she went on, but Eli quickly shook his head; "No, about Grace?" he asked, anxiously.

Jessie was silent for a moment, and Eli knew he shouldn't have sounded so eager……..so anxious………

JESSIE kinda jealous.

Jessie nodded her head slowly, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks- "of course you care about Grace more than me…….how completely stupid of me to think I could actually turn to you in my time of complete and total sadness!" Jessie's words were bitter and angry, as she stared her brother coldly in the eye.

"Jess……..I'm sorry……..it's just" Eli tried to explain, but Jessie interrupted him.

"I'M you're REAL sister Eli………I need you………so why cant you just listen to me, and tell me everything is going to be alright? Why do you have to care so much about Grace, didn't you hear me? HER life is PERFECT…..it's mine that's miserable!" Jessie's tears began to cascade down, but before Eli could lend a helping hand, she gathered her bag and ran out the kitchen, almost knocking Grace over as she entered

"Jess…….?" Grace called out, but she didn't stop; and Eli listened to her heavy footsteps as they climbed the stairs.

He bowed his head, hoping that Grace hadn't heard Jessie's hurtful words that concerned her.

"Will she be ok?" Grace asked, worried.

Eli looked up, a black expression plastered on his face; "I honesty don't know" he replied.

Grace was silent for a moment, and though she wanted to ask Eli what Jessie meant when she said he cared more about her than Jessie……..she didn't, instead she looked haplessly at Eli.

ELI I care for Grace in a totally different way………totally different!

Grace lowered her heavy backpack onto the kitchen floor, and took a seat at one of the stools as she watched Eli search through the empty cupboards again.

"There's no goddam food in this house!" he said angrily.

Grace lowered her head, the question on the tip of her tongue- she restrained herself from asking anything, and instead reached across the kitchen bench, grabbing a green apple form the bowl in front of her.

"Eli" she said, and he instinctively turned around to look at her.

She glanced up, and lightly threw the apple at him; he caught it, a little bewildered, and then looked back up to see her smiling face.

"Thanks" he murmured.

Grace smiled, and slid off the stool gathering her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder, she turned, about to leave the kitchen.

Eli stared down at the green apple, and before he had time to think, the bitter words bounced off his tongue and into the air- "are you and Ayden a couple?" he asked, slowly.

Grace stopped walking, and slowly turned to face Eli.

He looked up, and was surprised to see the faint smile completely gone from her face.

GRACE he just uttered the very question I have been asking myself all day!

"Are you?" he urged, suddenly desperate to know her answer.

GRACE how does he do that? How does he get into my thoughts……….?

"Eli…….." Grace began, shifting the strap of her bag uncomfortably on her shoulder.

"That's none of you're business"- her words pained Eli, though he didn't feel it straight away- her answer was sharp, but the way she spoke was soft and melodic, almost soothing.

Grace looked up, and saw that Eli had averted his eyes back to the green apple in his hands; she wasn't even sure what the answer to his question was, all she did know was that her thoughts and feelings about the matter should be kept to herself……..atleast until she knew exactly what they were.

ELI I shouldn't care.

Grace let out a small sigh, "But, in all honesty- I don't know" Grace added, shifting her backpack again.

Eli looked up, and smiled a faint- far away smile- "Sorry for asking" he said simply, not with resentment on his tongue, but in all honesty- he was sorry.

"Your right, none of my business" he added, as he saw Grace's eyes turn guilty- she hoped she hadn't offended him too much.

"Just doing the protective older brother act, ya know?" Eli let out a small, fake laugh- and saw Grace's face ease.

"Well thankyou" She said sweetly, and turned to leave.

Eli opened his mouth; about to call out after her- but found it impossible to speak the words that were pressing against his heart………instead, he blocked his mouth with the apple- taking a huge chunk out of it, and began to chew……….

ELI so why do I care so much?

_You're toast and jam  
And you are cotton candy  
You're double rainbows  
Beside a settin' sun  
You're wood burnin' outside  
There's a fire glowin'  
You're sweet as green apples  
You must be the one_

_You bring me  
To the heart of a golden man  
You bring me  
To the natural truth  
You take me  
To the solid hollow  
And keep me sailing  
This ocean of youth_

_That's why you're toast and jam  
And you are cotton candy  
You're double rainbows  
Beside a setttin' sun  
You're wood bunin' outside  
There's a fire glowin'  
You're sweet as green apples  
You must be the one_

_So take me to an altar of diamonds  
And run with me through sheets of jungle rain  
Show me all your manly mystery  
And let me heal your beautiful pain_

_Be my island in crowds of faces  
My oasis  
Be there_

_And lead me to the holy water  
And introduce me to the place you are from  
Wherever you go you know I will follow  
So take me there and I will come  
I will come_

_You're toast and jam  
And you are cotton candy  
You're double rainbows  
Beside a settin' sun  
You're wood burnin' outside  
There's a, a fire glowin'  
You're my sweet green apples  
You must be the one_

_I'm sayin' you're toast and jam  
And you are cotton candy  
You're double rainbows  
Beside a settin' sun  
You're wood burnin' outside  
There's a fire glowin'  
You're sweet as green apples  
You must be the one  
You're sweet as green apples  
You must be the one_

_Sweet as green apples  
You must be the one_

_

* * *

_

**AUTHORS NOTE:**  
The song, which I wanted to kind of play in the back ground- was Chantal Kreviazuk's 'Green Apples'……….any guesses as to why I chose THAT song? Hmmmmm, thanks for the reviews, and please keep reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Grace walked up the stairs, a smile still spread sweetly across her lips as Eli's words lingered; 'protective older brother act………'

GRACE it's nice to know I'm going to have someone there to catch me when I fall.

But her thoughts of comfort were soon interrupted by an aggressive knocking; Grace got to the top of the stairs, and saw Jessie, standing outside the door to the attic- one hand banging furiously on the door, the other turning the door handle violently.

"Stupid, goddam, screwed up door!" Jessie muttered, as she allowed the hand that was banging to fall limply to her side.

As Grace walked towards her, she saw fresh tears falling from her eyes- and remembered the words she'd heard Jessie scream at Eli; 'Why do you have to care so much about Grace………'

GRACE not everyone has someone to catch them when they fall………

"Jess?" Grace said her name in a small whisper.

Jessie turned to look painfully at Grace's innocent, concerned face- and brushed away the tears violently, taking short, steady breaths, she hoped she didn't look as bad as she felt……...

"What's wrong?" Grace asked, standing infront of Jessie.

"Nothing!" she replied hastily.

"Don't even try that Jessie!" Grace replied, just as aggressively.

"Nothing that concerns you!" Jessie spat back, and turned to stare blankly at the door again- staring at it in defeat, anger and complete failure.

There was silence between the two girls- and when Jessie realized Grace wasn't about to leave her alone, she found her voice;

"The door is jammed," she said in a pathetic whimper.

"Oh" Grace replied, looking accusingly at the stuck door- knowing perfectly well it wasn't the cause of ALL Jessie's problems……..

"My life is stuck aswell," Jessie added, brushing away more tears.

Grace took a step forward, and gently placed a hand on Jessie's shoulder- the comforting touch sent Jessie into a heap of quivers, tears and sniffles, as she turned and lay her head helplessly on Grace's shoulder.

"Oh Jess" Grace said softly, stroking her hair gently as Jessie's body began to heave with the force of tears.

"Tell me what's wrong?" Grace urged, once Jessie's tears seemed to calm down slightly.

"Katie" she whimpered.

"You had a fight?" Grace asked, concerned.

Jessie paused then, her tears almost completely stifled; she suddenly wanted to be alone.

Grace waited for Jessie to continue- but after a hesitant pause, she realized Jesse didn't want to talk- she felt Jessie's body close up with tension, her breaths became short and anxious- "It's ok" Grace soothed, letting her know there was no need to speak.

JESSIE why couldn't Eli do this? Why does the one person I could never truly trust………have to be the only person that cares for me?

Grace gently pushed Jessie away, and walked towards the closed door.

With one heavy heave, the door creakily opened.

Jessie looked weak and beaten, but grateful for Grace's help; "thankyou" she murmured as she walked inside and closed the door quickly behind her.

"Anytime" Grace replied to the closed door, and turned, walking to her own bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

Fiery red lipstick smudged across her lips- accentuating her blushing cheeks, and the red earrings she wore.

**_i'm not asking for perfection_**

**_i only ask that you try_**

**_'cause you keep looking for answers outside yourself_**

**_when you've had them the whole time_**

**_it's time to see yourself as holy_**

**_time to see yourself complete_**

**_it's time to set aside the anger_**

**_and the spirit of defeat_**

Grace turned around; examining herself from every angle in her mirror- she wore a black, long sleeved top, comfortable yet stylish denim jeans- and light red slip on sandals.

**_come into the light_**

**_yeah, be the one you're born to be_**

**_into the light_**

**_wake up from your lonely sleep_**

**_the shadows can conceal what the heart longs to heal_**

**_come into the light_**

She hadn't meant to, but she looked much older and mature- with the red lipstick, smudged, smoky eyes- she could pass for much older than 17.

**_i think it's great that you're searching_**

**_seek and ye shall find_**

**_knock and the door shall be opened_**

**_to the windows of your mind_**

**_try not to be too impatient_**

**_go easy on yourself_**

**_'cause you got me in your corner_**

**_if you need a little help_**

Finally, she gathered her ratty brown hair, and twirled it between her fingers- clipping it with a small brass butterfly hairclip- strands of hair fell down her face, but she didn't mind.

**_come into the light_**

**_yeah, be the one you're born to be_**

**_into the light_**

**_wake up from your lonely sleep_**

**_the shadows can conceal what the heart wants to heal_**

**_come into the light_**

**_come into the light_**

She turned once more; examining every part of herself in the mirror- she resisted the urge to change tops, again, even though she thought the black one was a little too tight on her.

The song she'd been listening to ended, and just as she flicked off the radio, there came a knock at her door.

"Come in" she called lightly.

The door opened a crack, as Jessie poked her head in, she looked Grace up and down, and then stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Hey Jess" Grace's tone was still comforting, and slightly patronizing, as she spoke to Jessie as though she were 6 years old.

"Hey" Jessie examined Grace once more, and looked at her stepsister curiously.

"You look great" she breathed, a little amazed.

Grace brushed the astonished tone of her voice aside, "is that so hard to believe?" she asked, sarcastically.

Jessie gave out a small, exhaled laugh; "sorry" she said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "but you do look amazing" she added, half smiling.

Grace nodded her head slowly, as the adjusted the clip in her hair- "thanks" she said, in a small, distant voice.

Jessie stood awkwardly in the middle of the dimly lit room, not sure of what to say; though a conversation was staring her right in the face.

"Oh" Jessie almost gasped, suddenly realizing why Grace wore red lipstick, a tight black top and her hair in a messy twirl bun.

"You have a date tonight, with Ayden Clymont?" Jessie's smile grew a little wider, as a topic poured out of her mouth- and filled the silence of Grace's room.

GRACE when will he stop being Ayden CLYMONT? When will I just call him……..Ayden, when referring to him………?

Grace nodded slowly, allowing her hands to stop adjusting the already prefect clip- "Do I really look ok?" she asked, suddenly feeling butterflies in her stomach.

Jessie looked her up and down once more, "amazing" she breathed, nodding her head slowly.

"Not too- dressy?" Grace asked, suddenly wishing she had a different top on.

Jessie smiled, "amazing!" she repeated, a little more firmly.

Grace blushed slightly, "ok", she said, refusing to give into her vanity for another second. She turned on her heel, and grabbed the small black bag from her desk.

"Grace-"

Grace turned around, seeing Jessie's smile completely faded, and replaced with a deep look of concern.

JESSIE how do you ask someone you don't completely trust……..to keep the biggest secret you have?

Jessie tucked a piece of non-existent hair behind her ear, and Grace could instantly read her troubled mine.

"It's our secret," Grace said, in a hushed whisper.

JESSIE and what do you do when the person you don't trust………knows you so well?

Jessie's smile returned, though fainter than before, "that means so much to me Grace" she whispered back in reply.

Grace nodded, and the two girls found themselves in a peaceful silence with one another- "You're date should be here soon" Jessie finally broke in.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**  
Song Grace was listening to was Alice Peacock's 'into the light'.

Thanks for all the encouraging reviews- deepest apologies if I do not add a new chapter every day- school tends to get in the way, as does my laziness!

Sorry, but please- - - check back soon for new chapter(s)!


	12. Chapter 12

ELI Maybe, what makes life so great- is moments.

Grace breezed down the stairs, Jessie following close behind- and the moment Eli heard her footsteps on the floorboard, he had to turn and see her- though he knew it would hurt him.

ELI - moments that, take you're breath away, or……….take you're heart away?

And sure enough, as Grace entered the kitchen, Eli felt pain like he'd never wanted to feel before-, as he looked at Grace in an entirely different light.

ELI like looking at someone, and really seeing them for the first time- seeing them the way that everybody else does- I mean, you could live the rest of you're life with that person- but the one memory you might have of them, is the moment when you first realized………they were beautiful.

"Doesn't she look great?" Jessie smiled; but Eli couldn't hear her, or see her- he only saw Grace- he only saw her red lips, her soulful eyes, curvy hips, creamy skin, wisps of hair that fell down her brow………that was all he saw.

ELI and it's sad……..because a moment that could mean the world to you, was created by another person……..and that person may never know the impact they had on you.

"Doesn't she look great Eli?" Jessie asked again, urging her brother to compliment the nervous Grace.

"Beautiful" he whispered, and Grace smiled sweetly, a small blush cascading onto her cheeks.

ELI isn't it sad?

"What's the time?" Grace asked nervously, swinging around to examine Jessie's watch.

"6:35" Jessie replied, lowering her wrist.

Grace tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, suddenly feeling a storm of butterflies flapping inside her stomach at once.

GRACE why do people insist on being fashionably late?

"He was supposed to be here at 6:30," she said, tucking the same piece of hair behind her ear again.

Jessie let out a small laugh, "Don't panic," she said, turning to leave the kitchen.

Grace half smiled at Eli, as she was left alone with him- him and his eyes that wouldn't leave her face.

"So-" Grace broke his stare, "big night planned for you too?" she asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Err……" Eli couldn't find any words.

"Look Eli, I'm sorry about blowing you off-" Grace interrupted, before Eli could compose a sentence.

"Actually, I don't even know why I'm doing this, cause its not like Ayden even likes me- I mean, he would never go for me…….." Grace knew she was babbling, about something Eli was surely not the least bit interested in- but she was nervous, and it was her mechanism that always turned on whenever she got nervous.

"- - - I mean, we are total opposites- not that I know………cause I don't actually know him that well at all………but maybe after this date………I don't even know if this is a date…….it feels like a date………but we aren't a couple……..we're, study buddies?"

"Err…….." Eli wished she would stop talking- he wished he could just simply gaze at her in awe again. Without Ayden's name being mentioned……..and the relationship they do or don't have.

Grace half smiled, but continued to speak; "I mean, a few days ago I seriously hated him……..then he did the entire assignment for me……..and now he wants to go on a date……….not that this is a date"

GRACE just stop, why cant you just stop when you know your being stupid?

Eli saw Grace's cheeks turn almost scarlet red, and he knew that she wanted to stop talking- infact; he guessed that she was telling herself right this second to stop talking………

GRACE I mean really, is it that hard to stop being stupid, when the reason for you're stupidness is something that's perfectly easy for you to stop………talking………just stop!

"And if we are a couple then can we still be study buddies………or would that lead to………other things? Do I even want a boyfriend………in my senior year of high school……..what a distraction?"

Eli saw Grace's hand move slightly, and, knowing what her next swift movement would be- he instinctively reached his own hand out, and in one hasty, gentle movement- he tucked a wisp of hair behind Grace's ear.

GRACE stopping……..

Grace's words ceased………her mouth now tightly pursed……..as she gazed into Eli's hazel/green eyes- he stared back, Into her own big brown eyes, almost challenging her to look away- she didn't.

GRACE how does he do that? How does he break my thoughts completely.……..?

But the doorbell ringing soon broke the silence- and the dreamy trance they were both caught in- "Bye" Grace said in a husky, unreal whisper.

And before Eli could say anything, he'd heard the door open- and Ayden's deep voice came through the hallway.

"Mum- Rick, this is Ayden"

Eli heard the introductions; and instantly felt the pricking pain in the back of his eyes- he quickly walked out the kitchen, not stopping for a moment to examine the cool, calm, collected Ayden as he entered the Manning/Sammler household- instead, Eli stormed towards the garage- he didn't even feel Grace's eyes following him.

"Grace has told us a lot about you"

Grace turned back to her mother, and rolled her eyes; she glanced at Ayden, and instantly, all thoughts of Eli and his strong hands left her mind- Ayden's tousled black hair fell perfectly down his brow………and his black, soulful eyes were dancing with charm as he politely answered Rick and Lily's questions.

GRACE Maybe, what makes life so great- is moments?………. I think looking at Ayden in this new light……is one of my moments!


	13. Chapter 13

"Remind me never to see a romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock ever again…….." Ayden grimaced as he and Grace walked out of the cinema.

Grace elbowed him gently in the side, causing Ayden to scowl in fake pain.

"It wasn't that bad" Grace smiled as she continued to walk, ignoring Ayden who had stopped to clutch his stomach in mock pain- he ran up to her, shooting her a side ways sarcastic glare.

Grace let out a small laugh, "ok, so it was mind numbingly boring and predictable!" she smiled.

Ayden agreed with a small nod, "well……..it wasn't ALL that bad", he added, after a moment.

Grace shot him a quick, curious look; "yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah- I mean……..the company was pretty good" Ayden stared straight ahead, ignoring Grace's dancing eyes as they stared at his face.

GRACE company……..that's me……..right?

"Yeah, it was" she agreed, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear- as she did so, a tingle ran through her spine, as she remembered Eli's strong hand swiping the same piece of hair……….she shivered slightly.

"You cold?" Ayden asked, noticing Grace's slight quiver.

Grace looked down at her feet for a moment, pushing Eli's strong hands out of her mind- she turned to Ayden; "A bit" she said, in a small voice.

He raised a hand, placing it gently on her shoulder, urging her to stop walking.

Grace brought her arms to cross her chest tightly, waiting as Ayden peeled off his brown chord jacket- he placed it around her shoulders, the warmth instantly swept over her body- and all thoughts of Eli swiftly left her thoughts.

"Thankyou" Grace murmured, and they started walking again, in silence; until they reached Ayden's blue, beaten up Honda.

Grace slowly got in, and smoothed out the creases in her jeans as she waited for Ayden to start the car up.

GRACE this is the part where I get to know the inner depths of his soul…….right?

"Ayden-" Grace began, not turning to look at him as she spoke.

"Mmm?" Ayden asked, as he pulled out of the car park.

"Can I ask you………stuff?"

Ayden turned to look quickly at Grace for a moment; "want kind of………stuff?" he asked, slightly amused.

Grace gave a faint smile- "Well…….. I want to get to know you" Grace turned to him, not realizing that he was already throwing her a quick glance- their eyes locked for an instant.

"Ask away" Ayden said, almost in a whisper.

"Family?" Grace asked, smiling to herself as she felt her cheeks blush.

"Mum, dad and one older brother called Michael"

"Friends?"

"Ah……… I have lots of them………but close friends would have to be David Griden and Scott Hilton"

"Scott Hilton?" Grace asked, a little shocked.

Ayden turned to her, raising a quirky eyebrow; "what's wrong with Scott?"

"Nothing………it's just………I heard that he had an affair with Ms. Madison last year" Grace's cheeks turned a scarlet red as the words poured out her mouth.

"Ah……rumours………" Ayden replied.

"So, not true?"

There was a long silence in the car, as Grace awaited Ayden's answer- and once she realized he wasn't about to give her one……her jaw fell, and she playfully punched him in the arm.

"No way!" she said, in total shock.

Ayden flashed her a quick smile……"Didn't take you as that kind of chick" was all he said.

"What kind of chick?"

"The kind that would believe stupid rumours" he replied, and Grace's smile vanished.

"Sorry………it's just………well, you know," she answered quickly.

"No, I don't-" Ayden said calmly.

"Its not that I BELIEVE them….. I just……..absorb them" Grace fidgeted in her seat, "Believe me…….. I have had a fair share of rumours passed around about me!"

"Like what- you had sex with the entire football team?" Ayden joked.

Grace fidgeted some more in her seat……and Ayden felt the tension rising.

"I know," he said simply.

"You know what?" Grace asked, a little surprised.

"I heard the rumour about you and Eli last year" Ayden said, quietly.

"And about you and Mr. Dimini" he added.

"Dimitri" Grace corrected, a little too hastily.

Ayden flashed her a curious glance…….."I knew they weren't true" he said, in a hushed whisper that made Grace's entire body tingle with longing.

GRACE he knows.

Grace smiled, and there was a comfortable silence in the blue Honda.

"Dream job?" she asked- interrupting the still.

"Poet" Ayden replied, "and you?" he added.

"Journalist"

Ayden nodded……….."I can see you doing that," he said kindly.

GRACE he can see me…….smiling giddily into the camera


	14. Chapter 14

GRACE so……..this is it………the ending.

Ayden turned the key, and the blue Honda died down- as did the bustling conversation Ayden and Grace were having not two seconds ago.

Grace looked out the window, at the door of her house- then turned back, to stare down at her hands.

"So-" Ayden began- his voice causing Grace to quiver slightly, as he unexpectedly broke the silence.

"So-" Grace agreed, not allowing her eyes to leave her hands, and pass over his own tanned, strong ones that still clutched the steering wheel.

"This was nice" Grace added, she quickly tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear, brushing her dangly red earrings in the process, it swayed for a moment, making the smallest whisper of sound.

"Your nice" Ayden said, a little suddenly.

Grace's head lifted, and she turned to look at him, surprised to see his eyes already scanning her face- how long had he been looking at her?

"Thankyou" she said, in a hushed breath.

GRACE this is it………right?

"Grace-" Ayden began, lowering his hands from the steering wheel, "what would you do if I kissed you right now?" he asked, in such a husky whisper, Grace almost didn't hear him- but looking into his blackened eyes……..those deep eyes……….she knew what he was about to do.

Grace restrained from saying what was on her mind as he asked her this- 'I might drown in you're kiss?'- - - She guessed that was a little too deep and meaningful at that moment- instead, she said nothing, instead leaned forward slightly.

That was enough for Ayden, he leaned into her aswell, and in a swift movement, his firm hand brushed against her supple cheek- and their lips connected.

Grace raised her hand, resting it against his strong chest, as his own continued to brush lightly and tenderly against her now blushing cheek………this was bliss……and sure enough………she was drowning.

* * *

Eli walked into the lounge room, stepping over Rick and Lily's feet, which were propped against the coffee table.

He took a seat next to the cuddling couple as they watched some sappy romance on the hallmark channel.

"So, where's Grace?" he asked, casually.

"Ssshhh" Lily replied, tears beginning to form in her eyes as the couple they watched on the screen leaned in for a meaningful kiss.

Eli sunk into the seat, realizing he was annoying the happy couple- disturbing their peace……..and their sappy movie………but he didn't let up.

"Well, you set her a curfew didn't you?" He asked, urging them to answer him.

"Sssshhhh!" Lily replied, a little more aggressively this time.

Rick, who really wasn't interested in whatever trash they were watching-, turned to his son- "Grace is a big girl E…..she'll be fine……" Rick whispered, and then turned back to the t.v.

Eli sighed, settling into the movie for only a moment- before a flash of Ayden and Grace interrupted his thoughts………the image of the couple in the movie, blurred with Grace and Ayden's faces- he imagined Ayden's grabby hands roaming Grace's curvy body………peeling off her tight black top, to reveal the same white lace bra Eli had seen………he imagined Ayden's lips planting kisses on Grace's creamy smooth skin……….and Grace moaning all the while, begging him to continue………

"Well what time did she say she would be home?" Eli suddenly broke in, his voice was a little louder and agile then he'd expected……..

Lily sighed, and realizing she and Rick wouldn't get to watch the end of the film until Eli was satisfied……..she glanced down at he wrist watch.

"She should come through that door in a few minutes" Lily replied angrily, and then nestled back into Rick's arms.

Eli practically jumped out of the couch, and walked towards the stairs, taking a seat on the last step- he glanced down at his own watch.

It was 10:00……a little late for Grace to be out, he thought?

ELI I'm not supposed to care………well…….. I am……….just not this much!

Eli tapped his foot impatiently, his eyes glued to the door- urging it to swing open, and for Grace to step through……..preferably with a miserable look on her face.

Just as Eli imagined this, the door slowly opened- and Grace's head poked out, then she stepped inside- noticing Eli instantly.

"Eli?" She asked, looking at him curiously.

"Grace, honey?" Lily called.

"Yeah mum?" Grace replied, not taking her eyes off of Eli's questioning face.

"Eli wanted to talk with you……..how was you're date?" Lily called back, still distracted by the t.v.

"Great……..Eli's right here" Grace called out.

"What did you want?" Grace asked, looking intently into Eli's eyes- they gave nothing away.

"Is that his?" Eli asked, as he examined the too-big chord jacket Grace had draped over her shoulders.

Grace looked down at herself curiously, then smiled, looking back up at Eli- "I was cold" she said simply, she walked towards Eli, then clambered over his body to walk up the stairs.

As she walked past him, Eli thought he could distinctively smell Grace's usual lavender fragrance mixed with some men's cologne……..his heart faltered.

"You didn't kiss him did you?" Eli asked, as he rose from his sitting position.

Grace spun around, her mouth ajar- "that is completely none of you're business!" she said sternly, her eyes narrowing- she turned back around, and started climbing the stairs again- this time her footsteps were heavy and determined.

"Grace!" Eli called, racing to catch up with her.

"Why do you even care Eli?" Grace spat, refusing to look at him.

ELI (looks nervously into the camera)

Finally, they reached the top of the stairs, but Grace didn't stop- she headed straight for her door.

"Grace, I just want to know!" Eli argued, still following her.

"Well too bad, cause your not going to!" Grace retorted, entering her bedroom, she spun around for an instant- Eli having to take a step back before he crashed into her.

"Eli………my date is my business…….. I don't care that I'm dating one of you're friends……..and neither should you!" Grace said angrily, before shutting her door in Eli's hurt face.

His shoulders slumped…….."that's not it" he whispered to the closed door………"that's not it at all" he added, as he turned to walk away.


	15. Chapter 15

Grace's eyes fluttered open, revealing her twinkling eyes.

The smile that had spread across her lips as she and Ayden parted last night, was still plastered firmly on her face- and as she replayed their inevitable kiss over again in her mind, remembering every fine detail- it seemed the smile and glowing attitude she'd woken up with, would stay with her throughout the day……..then she remembered Eli waiting for her……..and his 'question'.

GRACE have I ever asked him how many girls he's slept with?

The smile faded, though the spark still flared in her eyes- she tried to remember the feel of Ayden's firm hands brushing ever so gently and comfortingly against her red hot cheeks………and while her heart lifted for a moment………Eli's words came sailing back to her………'did you kiss him?'……….and her heart came down just as quickly.

GRACE No! And I never ever would…….. I don't even want to know!

Grace kicked her covers off, and literally jumped out of bed- instantly wanting music to fill her room……she turned on her c.d player, and pressed play.

**_Roman candles that burn in the night,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
You lit a torch in the infinite,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
Yeah, you light up my life._**

Grace smiled; forgetting Eli for a moment as the lyrics softly exploded into her room.

GRACE isn't it weird how a song can change you're entire mood?

**_You have always been a thorn in their side,  
But to me you're a shining light.  
You arrive and the night is alive,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
Yeah, you light up my life._**

**_We made a connection,  
A full on chemical reaction,  
Brought by dark divine intervention,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
A constellation once seen,  
Over Royal David's city,  
An epiphany you burn so pretty,  
Yeah, you are a shining light._**

Grace noticed the tops she'd tried on last night were still scattered on the floor- and suddenly couldn't stand the idea of mess cluttering up her music filled room- she began picking them up and folding them neatly.

All the while her lips mouthed the lyrics to the song………

**_You are a force  
You are a constant source,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
Incandescent in the darkest night,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
My mortal blood I would sacrifice,  
For you are a shining light.  
Sovereign bride of the infinite,  
Yeah, you are a shining light,  
Yeah, you light up my life._**

Grace's head began bopping in time with the tune- and her mouthed words suddenly found voice as she sung a small bit louder……..

**_We made a connection,  
A full on chemical reaction,  
Brought by dark divine intervention,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
A constellation once seen,  
Over Royal David's city,  
An epiphany you burn so pretty,  
Yeah, you are a shining light._**

By the time Grace folded the last top, her striped white and green one, her entire body had loosened up- and so had her vocal chords.

Though completely off tune, she continued to sing, louder and louder………

**_These are the days you often say  
There's nothing that we cannot do,  
Beneath a canopy of stars  
I'd shed blood for you.  
The north star in the firmament,  
You shine the most bright.  
I've seen you draped in an electric veil  
Shrouded in celestial light._**

Finally, the last verse started- and this time……..Grace belted it out, sure that the rest of the house would hear, and any minute someone would come pounding on her door, screaming at her to turn it down……..but she didn't care……….

**_We made a connection,  
A full on chemical reaction,  
Brought by dark divine intervention,  
Yeah, you are a shining light.  
A constellation once seen,  
Over Royal David's city,  
An epiphany you burn so pretty,  
Yeah, you are a shining light,  
Yeah, you light up my life.  
Yeah you are a shining light  
Yeah you light up my life_**

Her hips were swinging, her arms flapping around, her feet had a mind of their own……….and her voice was at it's absolute maximum level- when the inevitable pounding came at her door……..except, there was only one knock, and then the door swung open.

Grace didn't realize until she turned around, or more, spun around- in mid dance routine- to find Eli staring at her- his jaw practically falling through the floor.

She must have looked a state- like a legless seagull, hoping around, trying to imitate something called rhythm.

Not to mention Grace was wearing her baggy Elmo pyjama bottoms, and white singlet top (not to mention the bed hair!)- as the song ended, so did her excitement.

"Turn it down" Eli mumbled, once Grace's body became stable.

Grace, a little puffed, nodded and walked towards her c.d player- swiftly pressing the 'stop' button, she turned back, to see Eli still standing in her doorway.

"I suppose I should be grateful that you knocked!" Grace said, a little flatly.

Eli felt his cheeks blush slightly……..as he knew he'd deliberately only knocked once……..incase he got the pleasure of seeing more than he was supposed to, again?

"Sorry" he mumbled, shifting slightly.

Grace gave a small nod, and then crossed her arms; trying to over the fairly tight white singlet top she was wearing- suddenly realizing it was a little low cut.

"Look- Grace" Eli began.

It was actually sort of perfect that Grace had decided to have a rock concert in her bedroom this morning, it gave Lily a reason to send him up here- and gave him a reason to speak with Grace- and sort out the 'little' argument they'd had last night.

An argument that Eli had played over in his mind throughout the entire evening, not getting a wink of sleep as he remembered the cologne, chord jacket, Grace's reluctance to answer his fairly simple question……..and his masked jealousy.

"What?" she asked, looking up at Eli- who seemed amusingly nervous as he spoke?

"It seems that lately we have just gone from ending one fight to starting another ………" Eli began, leaning against Grace's door frame- he looked her challengingly in the eye.

Grace bowed her head slightly, "yeah" she agreed.

"And I hate that, I really do" Eli added.

"Well- Eli, you have to realize that my life is private…….." Grace began, it seemed she was still searching for a fight.

Eli interrupted her, wanting to end their bickering once and for all- "I know, I know………none of my business………that's totally understandable!" Eli raised his hands in defeat, surrendering to Grace- admitting he was wrong.

She sighed, and gave him a faint smile as he played mock defeat- "But Grace-" Eli stepped further into her room, and stood a little apart from her.

"You are my stepsister……..well………we can drop the 'step' bit, you ARE my SISTER" he smiled, and Grace returned the gesture.

"And before that, you were my friend………now, well, we have grown so close, I'd like to think that we are best friends?" he stared into Grace's eyes, and saw that they were- sparkling almost.

"Yes?" Grace urged him to continue.

"I don't want to be completely closed off from you're life- you know? I'd like to know how things are going with you, and I don't want you jumping down my throat every time I…… you know?" Eli shifted slightly, and Grace found some amusement in this.

"No I don't," she said, smiling.

Eli sighed, "I like to know that your ok……that your being treated well……..that your……happy!" he said, averting his eyes to the ground.

Grace's smile grew wider, "You're the best big brother a girl could have" she whispered, and then flung her arms around Eli's body.

ELI how can it feel so right?

Eli was caught off guard, but eventually caught his breath and wrapped his own arms around her- feeling her curvaceous hips as his hands softly brushed across them.

ELI but mean so little?

Grace pulled away, taking a small step back so she could show Eli her smile- "so……..we're best friends?" she asked, a little giddy.

Eli nodded, still in shock.

"So, can we paint each others toe nails and swap beauty tips?" Grace joked.

Eli sighed, a smile still spread across his face- he playfully punched Grace in the arm, "not in this lifetime!" he said, and then turned to leave.

"Thanks Eli- and……..I'm sorry" Grace said, before Eli shut her door.

"No problem" Eli nodded, and then left Grace to be alone.

GRACE this is good……….all problems with Eli resolved………a boyfriend on the horizon……..a completely perfect boyfriend who's kisses make my legs go weak………

Just as Grace remembered Ayden's supple lips pressing against her own, her door flung open, Eli stood smiling.

"So, did you kiss him?" He asked, a sly smile on his face.

Grace made a loud sigh, and then quickly picked up a pillow from her bed, flinging it at the door- but Eli slammed it just in time, and it rebounded.

GRACE all………perfect stares giddily into the camera.

ELI this is terrible stares wearily into the camera

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**  
Song Grace was listening to was; Ash 'into the light'- have a listen to it and you'll see why she just HAD to dance and sing along!

Ok, I realize I am being pretty mean to Eli- believe me, it breaks my heart to see Grace act so completely oblivious to his obvious feelings!  
But I wanted to make Ayden a real cutie, so that she had a real conflict of love………

It's great that so many of you are torn between Grace and Ayden relationship and hers and Eli's……..that's exactly what I wanted!

Mwhahaha, so I can pull you're heart strings!

Ok, check back soon for updates (I've been on a bit of a role recently, adding loads of chapters!)


	16. Chapter 16

GRACE how can your life change so completely over night?

"Hey Grace!" Ashley smiled as Grace passed her in the hallway.

The simple greeting had caught Grace off guard, and she only had enough energy to give a faint smile in return.

"What's up Manning?"

Grace turned around, but Jacob- a senior on the hockey team- had already returned to his conversation, unfazed by the fact that Grace hadn't given him a reply.

"Hey" Grace replied, in a small voice, she turned around- and almost bumped into a Megan- a cheerleader.

"Sorry Grace" she said, side stepping, Grace moved aside aswell- and continued to walk.

"No problem" she mumbled in response, though Megan had already walked away to join her 'group'.

GRACE how can everybody else's perceptions of you change so drastically over night?

Grace finally reached her locker, and began to fumble in her pocket for the key- just as she was mumbling to herself, she felt strong arms wrap comfortably around her waist, and hot, sweet breaths tickle her neck.

"Guess who" a sultry whisper came in her ear.

Grace smiled, and allowed her body to loosen in Ayden's arms.

"Mmmm" she allowed herself to float in his comfort, before answering him- "could it be my wonderful night in shining armour?" Grace giggled slightly.

GRACE how did I become so corny over night?

"No" the sweet breaths tickled her neck as he spoke, "it's just Ayden" he added, and gently spun her around.

She met his deep eyes, and smiled wider as she quickly kissed him on the lips- feeling too shy and nervous to allow their lips to make a passionate embrace.

Ayden smiled slyly, knowing that Grace was reluctant- he slowly leaned into her, his arm sliding down to rest in the small of her back, he pressed their lips together- and when they finally pulled away, both were panting for breath slightly.

"Ayden" Grace suddenly felt her voice; she playfully punched him in the arm as she felt her face redden- she quickly glanced down the hallway, glad to see that no teachers were in sight.

"Hey" Ayden smiled, leaning against the locker next to Grace's.

GRACE hey?

Grace tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "hey?" she replied, and went back to rummaging for her key.

GRACE after a passionate embrace all he can say is……..hey?

"Sorry" – Ayden's reply caught her off guard- she turned to him with a curious look.

"For what?" she asked.

"Well, I saw you standing here- with you're red cardigan, a tinge of lip stick and you're hair hanging loose……….and I just HAD to kiss you!" Ayden answered her, smoothly.

Grace felt her cheeks blush……..and she was sure they matched the colour of her red cardigan……..she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear again, unsure of what to say to Ayden's sweet words.

Grace smiled, "so, are we………" she suddenly realized these were not the words she wanted to say, not yet anyway.

"What?" Ayden asked, not expecting such a reply.

"Nothing" Grace said quickly, turning to peer inside her locker- she began rummaging through books.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" Ayden read her mind.

Grace paused for a moment, and then began rummaging again- pulling out her Biology book and examining it briefly.

"Yeah" she said, placing the book back in her locker.

"I want to be"

Grace turned to Ayden, peering into his deep eyes- they stared right back at her, showing all his sincerity.

"You do?" Grace asked, feeling her cheeks redden again.

"Yes"

"Well so do I!"

"You do?"

Grace and Ayden both laughed nervously………."so……we are then?" she asked, a little anxiously.

"Well, yeah- we are now officially dating" Ayden smiled, giddily.

GRACE is there supposed to be a parade………do we sign a document……..or do we just agree to be 'seeing' each other?

"Well good" Grace's smile deepened, and just as she found the courage to lean in for another passionate kiss, the bell rang.

Ayden continued to lean forward though, but his lips only landed briefly on Grace's forehead.

"See you at lunch" he smiled.

Grace's eyes sparkled, as she pulled on his arm, not allowing him to walk away- she pulled him toward her, and their lips collided.

As they parted Grace looked deeply into his eyes, "seeya" she said sweetly- and turned to walk away-leaving Ayden, standing alone in the hallway, gasping for breath.


	17. Chapter 17

Eli tapped his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently, every so often glancing around the school grounds- searching for Grace and Jessie- who were late, yet again!

Finally, Jessie emerged through the crowd- and just as she was about to approach Eli's car, one of her friends called her name- Jessie became distracted, and ceased walking- instead, she started chatting to some red head.

"Come on Jess" Eli murmured to himself through clenched teeth as he watched Jessie smile and nod, as she spoke with the girl.

"Just walk away- walk away!" Eli muttered again- urging Jessie to end the conversation so they could get home.

He'd had a bad day at work, having forgotten to mail a pile of letters- which ended up being quite important letters- - - his boss had a field day, practically screamed the place down!

"Come on Jess!" Eli said again, a little louder this time.

Jessie's smile grew wider, as the girl told her something seemingly amusing- Eli cursed himself, and decided he couldn't wait a second longer.

His hand pressed angrily against the horn, and Jessie's head snapped to the side- glaring at Eli.

Jessie finally broke the conversation, and headed to the car- as she got into the back seat, she angrily slammed the door- "I was talking Eli!" she said, bitterly.

"Well, I'm in a hurry!" Eli retorted.

"Grace isn't even here yet!" Jessie complained, crossing her arms.

"She will be soon" Eli replied quickly.

There was a moment of silence, "bet you won't yell at Grace for being late!" Jessie said, in a harsh whisper that was meant to go unheard.

Eli spun around to glare at his little sister, "what was that?" he asked.

Jessie sighed, and crossed her arms tighter; "I said I bet you wont yell at precious Grace for being late!" she repeated.

Eli stared back at his sister, a burning in his eyes; "Shut up Jessie!" he spat, and turned back around "I'm not in the mood!" he added, feeling Jessie's cold stare- but refusing to feel any remorse.

There was a fiery tension in the car, as they both silently pleaded for Grace to hurry up-

JESSIE I'm glad Grace is with Ayden………..at least now Eli can stop that sick flirting he's had going on with her for the last 2 years!

ELI she has no idea about love………. Not that I'm IN love at the moment……..it's just……….well I actually don't have feeling for anyone at the moment (scratches head nervously)

JESSIE Grace always seems to bring out the worst in him!

ELI I don't!

"Finally!"

Eli turned to Jessie, and followed her gaze out the window- to where Grace and Ayden were standing- close……….too close to be 'just' friends

ELI or 'just' study buddies!

Eli instinctively looked away, not wanting to inflict more unnecessary pain upon himself- but he also felt compelled to look………to prove to himself that he couldn't have her- so he turned back.

He watched as Ayden twirled a strand of Grace's hair between his fingers, and she laughed giddily as he whispered words in her ear.

ELI that could be me

Grace looked happy……..really happy……..she was looking pointedly into his eyes, and with every word he spoke her smile only grew.

ELI do I make her laugh?

Finally Grace turned, and noticed Eli's car- he quickly glanced away, not wanting her to see him staring so intently.

He looked back, and almost choked on jealousy as he watched them share a tender kiss- Ayden's hands brushing against her soft, blushing cheek………

ELI is her skin soft?

He wanted to look away, but couldn't, he had to know and convince himself that Grace could never be his- their kiss intensified, as their lips enclosed and never once parted.

But Grace suddenly became uncomfortable, knowing that Eli and Jessie were close by- and could easily see her and Ayden.

She pulled away, and Eli found himself able to breath again- she planted another quick kiss on Ayden's yearning lips and started walking towards the car.

Ayden waited the whole time, watching as she got into the front seat, beside Eli.

ELI if I were him……I'd never let her walk away.

Grace's blush intensified as she felt Eli's eyes on her- but her embarrassment subsided as she heard Jessie sigh irritably.

"Gee, what a surprise!" she muttered to herself, but made it perfectly clear for Grace and Eli to hear- she scoffed at the lack of yelling she knew Eli wouldn't give Grace.

"Sorry I'm late" Grace said awkwardly, ignoring Jessie's strange outburst.

"It's fine!" Eli half smiled, and flashed a quick glare into the rear view mirror- aimed at Jessie's sulking face.

Eli pulled out onto the main road, and noticed Grace glancing out the window, watching as Ayden walked along the footpath.

"So you guys are……….close?" Eli asked, breaking Grace's stare.

She shifted uncomfortably, "you saw that?" she asked, quietly.

Eli let out a small breath of laughter, though he forced himself to act calm- "Err……..kinda hard to miss………." He said slyly.

Grace smiled, glad that Eli wasn't making this more embarrassing than it already was- - - after all, she had seen HIM kissing god knows how many girls in the hallways over the years!

"Hmmm……..we're a couple now" Grace said, unable to hide the hint of unforced laughter in her tone.

Eli gripped the steering wheel- and forced a smile onto his lips through clenched teeth, "cool" was the only word he could muster.

"It is!" Grace said giddily, more to herself than Eli.

GRACE I don't know what love feels like………..but………whatever I'm feeling now…….it's amazing!

Eli nodded , realizing that Grace had now totally zoned out of all conversation- he guessed her mind was veering back to Ayden.

ELI whatever I'm feeling…….. I think she's the only one that can stop it!


	18. Chapter 18

"Mum, has this been tested on animals?" Zoe asked, examining the pink lipstick.

"I don't know honey" Lily replied, adjusting her small hoop earrings.

"Poor little rabbits!" Zoe sighed, and placed her mother's lipstick back on the dresser.

"Well…….. I usually check them before I buy………." Lily walked towards her dresser, and examined her lipstick- narrowing her eyes to read the small print.

There was nothing that mentioned testing on animals; she guessed that it was probably an anti-animal-friendly lipstick.

"Oh, here!" Lily pointed to the small writing which listed the ingredients; "where?" Zoe asked, trying to read the miniature print.

"It's there-" Lily lied, and hurriedly placed the lipstick back, "Zoe, honey- I'm running really late……..do you think you could look for my light blue oriental top?" Lily asked, glancing down at her daughter.

Zoe nodded, and left her mothers room to search for the top in the laundry.

"Thanks sweety!" Lily called, and hurriedly scanned the floor for her other black heel shoe.

"You ready yet?"

Lily glanced up, having to balance herself on one heel, she half smiled at Rick, as he stood before her in a smart suit- "almost………I just need my………." She heel pointed out from under the bed, "here!" Lily exclaimed, pulling it out and placing it quickly on her bare foot.

"Ready!" Lily smiled, standing straight.

"Err……..aren't you forgetting something?" Rick asked, scratching his head.

Lily looked down at herself, realizing she was still wearing her light pink pyjama top- "Oh!" she sighed.

"ZOE!" Lily screamed, walking towards Rick- "HAVE YOU FOUND IT YET?" she asked, yelling down the hallway.

Rick raised a hand to his ear, Lily's screams too much to handle at close range.

"Lil-" he tried, but she ignored him, finding more depth in her screams; "ZOE?"

Grace emerged from her room, her mother's screams disturbing her peace- "Mum!" she said angrily, "some of us have homework!" she added, shaking her head.

"Oh, sorry honey-" Lily replied, "but, have you seen my oriental blue top?" Lily asked, hopeful.

Grace sighed, and retreated back into her room.

"Thanks for all the help!" Lily muttered, and opened her mouth, about to scream out Zoe's name again.

Grace re-emerged, and chucked the light blue top at her mother, "there……..now go……….have a good time!" she said, and quickly shut her door again.

Lily examined the top; it was all crinkled- having been scrunched up on Grace's bedroom floor for god knows how long?

"I can't wear this!" Lily muttered, examining the top.

"Yes you can!" Rick replied, as he started unbuttoning his wife's pink pyjama top.

"Oh fine!" Lily said, in defeat, as Rick peeled off her pink top- she slipped the blue one on over her head.

Rick pulled her along, and as they practically ran down the stairs, Lily called out "we'll be home at 10:00………be good kids!"

* * *

Grace surfaced from her room at 8:30- in search of food……….having been on the phone to Ayden since she got home, she had retired into her room for the entire evening- even stayed in there through dinner.

Jessie looked up from the kitchen counter, where she was sitting- reading a poetry book for English.

"Finally got that phone detached from you're ear?" she asked, watching as Grace rifled through the fridge.

"Uhu" Grace replied, pulling out the dinner her mother had put away for her.

"Who would have guessed……….you and Ayden?" Jessie asked, and then went back to her book.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Grace asked, as she closed the door of the microwave.

"Nothing" Jessie muttered, trying to concentrate on her reading.

"No……really, tell me what you meant!" Grace replied, sternly.

Jessie sighed, realizing she'd opened a Pandora's box- "It's just……..you two seem like complete opposites!" Jessie answered her.

Grace was silent for a moment, the small muffled sound of the microwave filling the room, "we actually have a ton of things in common!" Grace replied, though her answer was a little late.

"I'm sure you do!" Jessie mumbled, and started reading her book again- thinking that they're conversation was done.

"No, really!" Grace walked towards Jessie, leaning against the kitchen counter; "we both love writing……and old movies……..and besides, opposites attract………if we were opposites- which we are not!" Grace could hear herself rambling on, but couldn't seem to stop herself.

"Ok fine, whatever- you two are a match made in heaven!" Jessie sighed angrily, and slid off her stool- stomping out of the room, to avoid more anxious answers from Grace- about her love life………which really didn't interest Jessie in the slightest.

The continuous beeping of the microwave echoed in the kitchen, Grace huffed and sluggishly walked over to the microwave- taking out her bowl of soup……though she'd lost her appetite.

* * *

"Eli?"

He placed his guitar on his bed, and walked towards the door- opening it slowly, to reveal Grace standing on the other side.

"Hey"

Grace pushed past him, without saying a word- but he could tell by her eyes that she'd been deep in thought……..what else could she have been doing at 10:00 at night?

"It's pretty late Grace" Eli said softly- only giving her the warning out of courtesy, because he truly didn't want her to leave- she didn't seem fazed by his warning, and instead slumped down onto his bed- Eli slowly closed his door.

"You going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked, taking a seat on the floor, at the base of his bed.

Grace's head was buried in his pillow, so her response was muffled- "can I just wallow for a moment longer?" she asked.

Eli let out a small sigh, "No, you're wallowing worries me!" he exhaled, and when Grace didn't reply, he slowly outstretched his hand- to stroke her loose hair that fell onto his pillow- but before he could get close enough, her head turned, and their eyes caught.

She stared at his hand for a moment, and he quickly pulled it back- "so……..what's wrong?" he asked again, his voice deeper and more urgent this time.

Grace brushed away strands of hair, that fell across he eyes- and adjusted her head to sit neatly on the pillow, so she could speak clearly- "what does love feel like?" she asked.

ELI ask me that later…..when you're not staring so deeply into my eyes……..when I can think straight.

Eli cleared his throat, caught a little off guard by her question- "I really wouldn't know" he admitted.

Grace let out a small breath, "but what about Carla?….." she asked.

ELI what about you?

"That wasn't love……" Eli began, shifting slightly on the cold floor, "that was misguided infatuation…….." Eli looked away from Grace's deep eyes- he found them too rich to stare at for too long.

"Is there a difference?" Grace responded, quickly.

It was as though she knew what Eli was going to say before he said it- and he found himself stumbling to answer her next question.

" I suppose……when you're in love………the infatuation has to go both ways?" Eli said in a breath- surprised by how much sense his words made.

GRACE that probably describes love almost perfectly……

Grace nodded, allowing his words to soak into her- the more she thought about them, the more they made sense- "you're a very wise person E" she said, after a while.

Eli smiled, faintly- "And I wasn't even trying…….." he mumbled.

Grace smiled, and shifted her body so she was lying on her back, instead of her side.

"Why did you ask in the first place?" Eli asked, once Grace was settled.

"About what love feels like?" Grace replied, staring up at Eli's ceiling- she wondered how many times he'd done the same thing……..late at night……..when he couldn't sleep.

"Yeah" Eli answered, glancing over at her- she was silent for a moment, staring up at his ceiling- he wondered what she was thinking about……..while she remained silent, he watched her stomach move up and down with each breath she took.

"Because I've never been in love" Grace replied, honestly- after taking 6 breaths (Eli was counting)

"And I don't want it to sneak up on me………" Grace added, turning her head to watch Eli.

"I think that's the best sort of love though……the one you never saw coming…….." Eli replied, staring at Grace's robust, red lips while he spoke- he didn't even need to think about his words, they came truthfully and easily from his heart………from his soul.

ELI it's the best, and hardest love.

"But still…….. It's scary to think I could lose all inhibitions over somebody…..and not even realize it?" Grace answered him- though he could hardly hear her words, as they leaked somewhere into the background.

ELI the one you never saw coming………

Grace smiled, her eyes becoming heavy as she stared at Eli- who's thoughts and eyes were wandering away from her……..she knew it was late, and could feel sleep falling over her.

"Thanks for the talk Eli" Grace said, breaking his train of thought- she rose from his bed, and headed towards his door.

"Goodnight" she said over her shoulder, as she left his room.

Eli remained on the cold hard floor……and felt the familiar pricking at the back of his eyes……….because he knew, even though Grace couldn't even see it yet- that she was falling in love……..she was falling in love, and it hurt Eli, more than he cared to admit- because she wasn't falling in love with him.


	19. Chapter 19

**_AUTHORS NOTE:_**

A short chapter today, deepest apologies, next one will be longer- promise………and as for the requested Eli and Grace 'moment'……..well it's coming, that's all I'm gonna say!

* * *

Grace quietly opened her bedroom door, and slipped inside.

Her eyes were heavy, and so were the impending questions that still pressed against her heart.

She hadn't gone to see Eli, only to ask him about love……..there was more behind her visit……….but when she found herself and Eli talking softly, and even a little philosophically- she'd forgotten all about the questions she had- and simply enjoyed being in his company.

She cursed herself now, as she slipped on her pyjama bottoms and pulled off the t-shirt she was wearing- she knew that sleep would be hard……when her mind was racing around, and she'd had her chance to air her thoughts- she'd let it slip.

Slowly Grace got into bed, not realizing how weak her body was until it lay on her soft mattress, and instantly eased.

Were her and Ayden right for each other?………why did being with him feel so perfect, yet oddly strange at the same time?………what is wrong with Jessie and the problems she is having with Katie?………….if being with Ayden is so perfect, then why is thinking about him and what they have so hard?………….why was Eli's hand hovering over her head?……….

Grace rolled over, and winced her eyes shut, forcing sleep upon them- it was hard, with all the questions still circling her mind, but eventually Grace nodded off.

Comforted by the sound of Rick and Lily's car pulling into the driveway, and a key jangling in the door- then their heavy footsteps climbing the stairs.

She went to sleep once she heard no more rustling in their room; she finally slept when she was sure the rest of the house was doing the same thing.

But there was still one family member still wide awake- Eli, lying on his bed, staring up at the same area Grace's eyes had been fixed on not two hours ago.

He sighed and rolled onto his side; trying to break his train of thought by his heavy movements- it didn't work……….her question still ringed in his ears.

"What does love feel like?…………."

Eli sighed once more, and tried closing his eyes- but Grace's face only appeared before him, her question still echoing- and his answer…….."infatuation has to go both ways……….."

Eli repeated his answer again, and his thoughts veered away from Grace- and back to the familiar Carla, who had also had Eli's fair share of late night thoughts.

Except this time, he didn't remember how soft her thighs were- or how he would twirl her hair between his fingers, and make ringlet- he didn't think about the way she sang along to any song that came on the radio- instead he started asking himself………when he stopped thinking about her……when he stopped wanting to be near her again.

Eli remembered the day of his father and Lily's wedding- he remembered sitting so close to Grace, after receiving the biggest blow to his heart from Carla's letter………he remembered whispering 'that's a pretty dress', and then slowly leaning in, leaning in so close he could feel her hot, sweet breaths on his neck.

He remembered how his heart raced- and then slowed down- all at the same time………he remembered only seeing into her eyes……….and how his lips suddenly tingled with a yearning he'd never felt before………..he also remembered their interruption, courtesy of Jessie- the sister with impeccable timing.

Eli suddenly sat up, and stared out at the blackness of the garage- his mind swimming with memories, and a sudden realization- he'd had his chance………

After their almost kiss, he could have pulled her aside, knowing that they both wanted so much to kiss that day- he could have pulled her aside and done just that………he could have kissed her, after Jessie left? Though it didn't feel right anymore……..he could have………but he didn't.

Eli's heart suddenly began to ache- as he realized, Grace once, may have had feelings for him- and he's allowed those feelings to slip……..to fade into nothing……he couldn't blame Ayden for him losing Grace, he could only blame himself.

Eli slowly lay back down, his head hurting more than ever now- as he silently cursed himself over and over again, for something he couldn't change.


	20. Chapter 20

Grace walked towards the bleachers, her backpack weighing on her shoulders, from the weight of her history and Biology books.

As she walked through the gates that lead to the hockey field, she looked up to examine the other girls sitting on the bleachers- watching their boyfriends train for the big game next week.

Grace's heart sank as she saw they were all blonde headed, skimpy top, and pink frosted lipstick-wearing cheerleaders.

One of them turned her head, to see who the new arrival to the clan was- and Grace quickly looked down at her watch, it was 4:00, she figured the training would end at around 5 o'clock..…Approximately….. or so she prayed!

She couldn't sit with these girls for longer than an hour; that was for sure!

Slowly, Grace walked along the footpath, and started walking the stairs- she could hear the conversation die down to a whisper, and noticed a few girls shooting her sideways glances as she approached, but still, they plastered on a white toothy grin.

GRACE I don't even understand the whole watch you're boyfriend sweat thing………..am I supposed to take an interest in everything he does……..and watch him train and play in every single match………?

"Hey" One of the girls out stretched a manicured hand as Grace stood before them.

"I'm Naomi" the girl gave a twinkling smile-, which Grace guessed, was completely forced.

"Grace" she replied, taking the girls hand lightly- she didn't want to break her nail or anything.

The other girls around Naomi gave similar smiles, and began introducing themselves.

"Courtney……..Melissa……..Sally………Amanda……….Jessica………Hayley……….Laura" Grace nodded at every single bleached haired one of them, instantly forgetting their names the moment they announced them.

"My boyfriend is James" Naomi pointed him out to Grace as she sat down; he was tall, with golden curled hair……..and at that moment……..made a dramatic fall to the ground after loosing his footing.

The other girls seemed all too keen to show off their boyfriends to Grace aswell;…….."Michael………Shane………Josh……….Alec………Scott……Pete………" Grace forgot their names just as quickly…..

"Which ones yours?" Naomi asked.

Grace squinted for a moment, feeling slightly embarrassed when she couldn't spot his face as instantly as the others- all the boys were running so quickly, their hair flapping against their face………finally she recognised his tanned skin, and raven hair- "Ayden" Grace said, pointing.

None of the other girls bothered to look; they already knew who he was.

"Ayden?" one of them repeated, and shot the girl next to her a 'fancy that' sort of look.

"Yep" Grace answered, quietly; not sure how their secret 'jock's girlfriend' code worked.

Naomi gently elbowed Grace, and flashed a softer- less sparkly white teeth- smile, "he's nice," she said softly.

"Oh yeah……..a real cutie!" One of the other girls chimed in.

"So thoughtful" another encouraged.

"Totally awesome!" Somebody exclaimed.

Grace nodded in agreement, "Yeah- he's all those things and more" she said quietly.

GRACE so this is how it works……….association by boyfriend?

"Well……welcome Grace!" Naomi finally said, once the compliments about Ayden had died down.

"Err……thanks" Grace smiled, making sure every one of the girls could see it.

There was silence for a moment……..and then conversation picked up, where it left off.

"So anyway, I asked her and she totally lied through her teeth!" One of the girls exclaimed, all the others gasped- and the conversation became more heated.

Grace turned around so she could face the speaker……Hayley, she thought, though she was only guessing…….."And I was like, 'don't be giving me that holier than now crap Tiffany!'………"

* * *

Once the boys had finished, and began walking off towards the edge of the field- all the girls stirred, walking down to greet them with long, passionate kisses.

Grace and Ayden stood off to the side, trying to ignore the lip-locking going on around them.

"So……..you played well" Grace complimented, trying to ignore Courtney's slight moan as Josh groped her.

Ayden half smiled, "thanks", he said, taking another sip of his Gatorade bottle.

Grace smiled faintly- as she examined his hair, and the small tendrils curling at his brow, from sweat.

His robust lips were parted as they sucked in quick breaths- and his face shined from sweat, as did his strong, muscular arms.

Grace quivered slightly.

"Thanks for watching me" Ayden finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"I really enjoyed it" Grace said, perhaps a little too quickly.

Ayden smiled, "You don't have to come to every single one of my matches you know………"

Grace let out a small sigh, but it didn't go unnoticed, and Ayden let out a small breath of laughter.

"Sorry" Grace felt the blood rush to her cheeks.

"Don't be………hockey is boring as hell to watch" Ayden lied, only to make her feel comfortable.

Grace's smile grew, and she suddenly wanted to lean forward and taste his salty, robust lips- to caress them with her tongue……..to run her hands through his damp hair.

"Actually, I wanted you to wait behind so I could show you something" Ayden twisted the cap on his Gatorade bottle, ignoring Grace's curious glance; he walked towards the gate and grabbed his sports bag.

"See you tomorrow" he called to his teammates; and Grace gave a small wave to the bunch of girls, as she and Ayden watched them walk away, leaving them alone- sitting on the bleachers.

"So, what do you want to show me?" Grace asked, gripping his hand a little tighter.

Ayden smiled, returning the squeeze- "hmm…………well before I show you, you have to promise me something!" he shot her a quick smile.

Grace nodded slowly, trying to suppress the nervous giggles rising in her throat- "Anything" she replied simply.

"You can't laugh at me," Ayden said, trying his best to cover his own laughter with a serious tone.

Grace nodded again, and gripped his hand even tighter………

"So what is it?" She asked, after a moment without words.

"You have to wait" Ayden replied, almost in a whisper.

"Why?" Grace asked, keeping her voice hushed aswell.

Ayden turned to her curiously, "why are you whispering?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Grace stared into his deep black eyes for a moment, then a smile spread across her face, and she hit him playfully- "cause you were whispering!" she said, giggling.

"Oh" Ayden smiled, admiring the way Grace's head tilted back when her laugh heightened- he traced her laugh lines with his eyes, and when her giggling suppressed, he brushed a hand across her cheek.

She silenced herself immediately, his intense eyes making her keep focus- and she concentrated on the touch of his strong hand as he ran a finger across her lips, and then cupped her head with one hand- and slowly leaned in.

Their kiss was soft and mellow to begin- he knew the exact moment to intensify it- as though reading Grace's thoughts as she yearned for him.

His lips pressed hers harder, and they both seemed to melt into one another.

Finally they pulled away, Ayden brushing Grace's cheek one more time- craving to feel the softness again.

Grace smiled, and as he pulled away, she tentatively ran her fingers lightly through his now dry hair- smiling as the small curls twirled between her fingers.

"Look" Ayden whispered so lightly, Grace almost didn't hear him- but followed his gaze none the less as he turned and looked out across the hockey field.

"Oh" Grace breathed, finding her throat choke up as she took in the scene.

The sun was setting- and through the elm trees that lined the green grass of the hockey field- only small trinkets of light broke though the jigsaw leaves and winding braches, scattering across the field like stars across the sky.

The sun's colours melted together- the orange, red, purple, pink and a tinge of blue- it all fused into one as it met in the middle, and Grace looked on in wonder- not noticing that Ayden had turned away from the wondrous sight, and stared at her instead.

"It's Beautiful," she whispered, after the longest time.

"Definitely" Ayden replied, ignoring the image Grace was so engulfed in- and instead, stared at her soft features.

Grace heard the distance in his voice, and turned to him, smiling when she realized he wasn't talking about the sunset- "your beautiful" he whispered, incase Grace didn't understand.

"So are you" she replied, and leaned in for another……..perfect kiss…….that only ended when the sun completely disappeared behind the Elm trees.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Let me just say, I am sorry if you have a boyfriend who is a 'jock', or if you have bleached hair……..or wear small tops……..or frosted lipstick.

I meant no insult by it, honestly!

Oh and………the Ayden/Grace moment…….. I know I know! COMPLETE FLUFF! Almost makes you sick, doesn't it?

Well I'm sorry, it was an idea I just had to create!


	21. Chapter 21

Eli squinted at his house in the distance- as light descended, it was hard to make out who's car was parked in the driveway- but as he got closer, he saw that it was an unfamiliar red Holden, and as he got even closer he saw the outline of two figures in the front seat.

Eli was forced to park on the curb, as his usual space was taken by; Ayden, he suspected.

Slowly, Eli gathered his jacket and a few pieces of loose paper, and got out of the car- cautious as he approached the red Holden, as he got closer the outlined bodies became more apparent- and when he was only a metre or so away, he saw that they were close………very close- he could barely make out which was Grace and which was Ayden, as their hands enclosed around one another, and their heads continually tilted and pushed harder and harder- clearly sharing a passionate kiss.

ELI I never believed love could hurt this much……..when the other person doesn't even love me back!

Eli was about to detour, and walk across the front lawn- but decided against it, instead he walked towards the passenger side of the car, and waited for a moment, averting his eyes from the couple- not that he could see them clearly anymore, through the fogged windows.

But he wanted to make his presence known.

After a minute or so, he glanced down- to see their faces still pressing together- he took a deep breath, and lightly tapped on the car window.

Instantly, the couple parted- and Eli heard soft murmurs, he turned away slightly, as he saw movement in the car.

Finally, he heard the door click open, and Grace's flushed face appeared before him- slightly embarrassed, and totally furious.

"Eli!" Grace said, through clenched teeth.

Eli turned around, a forced smile pressing across his lips- his eyes were in a narrowed frown as he noticed Grace's red jacket was creased, and the blue top she wore underneath it was twisted around her waist.

"Hey Eli" Ayden said, walking around to the front of the car- he smiled wearily, trying to mask his disappointment.

"Grace it's…….." Eli glanced down at his watch, "………7:00……..does Lily know where you've been?" he asked, shooting a sideways glance at Ayden, and then looking back at Grace.

"Where have you been anyway?" Eli added, before Grace could respond to his first question- he noticed Ayden was wearing the school sports t-shirt.

"Watching Ayden at hockey practice!" Grace answered Eli, in a monotone voice- still through clenched teeth.

Eli nodded slowly; looking over at Ayden again- Eli could tell he was disappointed………he knew all too well what it was like to get hot and heavy with a girl, only to be interrupted………not that Eli had that problem anymore.

Eli could tell by Ayden's pursed smile, and his still flushed cheeks- he crept forward, until he was standing beside Grace, looking at Eli with a masked fury in his eyes.

"I'm coming inside now" Grace finally spoke again, breaking Eli's harsh stare at Ayden.

"Ok" Eli replied, but didn't move away.

Both Grace and Ayden waited a moment longer- but it became apparent that Eli wasn't going anywhere……….

GRACE so now I have 3 fathers?

"Want me to walk you………?" Ayden began, but Eli cut in.

"That's fine- come on Grace" Eli said quickly, and shot Grace an anxious glare.

She looked right back at him- and he knew she was angry, her eyes could tell him a million things………but anger was the easiest emotion in Grace's eyes.

She turned to Ayden, moving her head closely to his.

"Hmm" Eli said huskily, but Grace ignored him.

"Goodnight" she whispered; she was so close to Ayden, he could feel her breaths on his neck.

He leaned in, planting a soft, tender kiss on her neck- reminding her of what they were doing in the car, before Eli interrupted.

Grace let out a small sigh, sensing that Eli was still watching them- uneasily- but she didn't care.

"Thankyou" she whispered, pulling away reluctantly.

"Your welcome" Ayden replied, watching as Grace walked away- she looked back over her shoulder, a smile spread across her lips- Ayden returned the gesture………but once he heard the front door close, he no longer hid his disappointment- and the smile turned into a frustrated frown, as he slinked away into his car.

* * *

Eli wasn't even two steps in the door, when he received a wincing punch in the arm, which he clutched in slight pain.

"Don't do that again!" Grace said- her eyes oozing fury now……..as Eli frowned at her.

"It was late Grace……" he began, in his own, jealous defence.

"Don't do it Eli- I know it's hard for you to drop the big jerky brother routine………but I'm serious………don't do something THAT embarrassing ever again!" her words were clear and sharp, and Eli had no choice but to nod helplessly.

Grace walked past him, flicking her hair to one side, as she began to climb the stairs.

"Grace!" Eli called out, looking up at her.

She stopped walking, and turned to him, looking down- "what?" she asked, annoyed.

"I'm sorry…….." Eli said, though it was forced.

Grace was silent for a moment, but Eli saw her eyes eventually soften.

"It's just frustrating is all!" Grace admitted, and then shot Eli a soft smile before walking the stairs again.

Eli sat down on the bench, still clutching his throbbing arm- his hate for Ayden beginning to swell again……..

ELI maybe not telling her is what makes this so painful?


	22. Chapter 22

"So, can we finish where we left off?" Ayden smiled; planting another tender kiss on Grace's bare neck- he was glad she wore a low cut top today.

Grace smiled, allowing his kiss to linger for a moment longer before speaking again.

"Not here!" she giggled, looking around the busy hallway for a moment.

GRACE I suddenly understand why kissing in the hallway is so……fun!…….. I finally understand why Eli always did this with his girlfriends!

Ayden pulled away, entwining his strong arms around Grace's curved waist- he looked into her eyes, "well I have a spare right after lunch……" he smiled wickedly.

"So do I" Grace mirrored his smile, and then sighed as he leaned in, his soft lips lingering on her tingling neck.

"We'll catch the bus to my place!" Grace smiled as Ayden pulled away- she pressed her lips hard against his own, and ran her fingers lightly through his hair.

"Cant wait" Ayden smiled, untangling himself from Grace- he planted a quick kiss on her forehead and then walked down the hall.

GRACE I'm understanding a lot of things all of a sudden……..

* * *

Eli sipped his hot coffee, and began reading the sports section of the paper- slightly annoyed that his father had gotten to it first, and the pages were creased………..but he didn't complain- it was too nice a day to complain about such a small thing………and what made the day so 'nice' was the fact that Eli had a day off from work!

He took another sip form his practically black coffee, his third one today and it was only 1:00 in the afternoon………and read the soccer results.

Just as he lifted his mug back to his lips, he heard a key jingling in the door, and then a creaky opening.

Eli stood from the kitchen table, moving towards the doorway to peer into the hall- where he saw Grace hanging up her coat, and Ayden behind her, slinging his backpack off.

"What are you doing home?" Eli called out, as he began walking towards them.

Grace and Ayden both jumped slightly, and watched Eli with wide eyes as he walked towards them- he wore brown tracksuit pants, and his old basketball jersey.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Grace said, trying to remain composed- she could literally feel Ayden's heart sink as he stood behind her- she knew exactly what he was thinking……….'interrupted again'.

"I showed up at work but they are doing renovations and didn't need me there today!" Eli said easily, and then raised an eyebrow at her- urging her to answer his question.

Grace shifted uneasily, looking at Eli straight in the eye-"we have spares, and thought we'd get started on a project" she said, smiling slightly.

"What subject?" Eli asked, crossing his arms, his eyebrow was still raised.

Grace was silent for a moment, feeling both Ayden and Eli's eyes on her- "Science" she said, after a long moment.

"What on?" Eli continued- not leaving Grace enough time to think of a plausible answer.

"Ballistics!" Ayden said quickly- and Eli shot him an icy glance.

"Yeah!……….so lets go get started Ayden" Grace said, grabbing his arm, she walked past Eli, and made it to the first step before Eli spoke again.

"Why don't you do it in the kitchen……more work space and I just made up a batch of hit coffee!"

Ayden and Grace exchanged a quick stare- and then looked back to Eli, who still stood, arms crossed with a superior grin on his face.

"Sounds………good" Grace said wearily, and climbed back down the stairs.

* * *

"Shouldn't you have books or something?" Eli asked, as he handed Grace and Ayden a mug of coffee each.

Ayden took his wearily; looking down at the black liquid with a sour face- Eli couldn't help but smile.

ELI oh please! I know all the excuses………

"Oh, we were just going to discuss then get the actual facts down another day" Grace said softly, staring down at the coffee- it looked completely untempting.

"Whatever………don't let me disturb you……..just pretend I'm not even here!" Eli gathered his ruffled newspaper, and walked over to the kitchen bench, pulling up a stool- he started reading again- but still shot Grace and Ayden quick side ways glances every now and then.

"Err………so bullets……are made from different types of metal" Ayden began, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Eli's smiled grew wider, as he listened to Ayden's increasingly disappointed voice- as he tried to fake his way through the whole thing……….

* * *

"So thanks for doing the project with me Ayden" Grace said, as she stood at the door- she leaned in and tenderly kissed Ayden on the lips- knowing it wouldn't suffice for the let down.

"No problem" he said, wearily.

"See you tomorrow!" Grace called out to him as he walked away, when she turned around, she saw Eli standing in the hallway.

She sighed, and closed the door, staring up at Eli- "tell me one good reason why you don't like Ayden!" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"What makes you think I don't like him?" Eli asked, a knowing smile still on his lips as he turned and walked away- he heard Grace follow him.

"Oh please Eli………from the moment we started going out you have done nothing but try to ruin this for me!" Grace spat back, not so much angry- but more distressed.

Eli turned around to look at her; the smile vanished from his face now, concern only showing.

"That is not true!" he retorted.

ELI maybe a little.

GRACE completely!

"Eli………you make sure I am never left alone with him, every time you say his name you speak either in a monotone or high pitched, disgusted tone………." Grace started.

"I do not!" Eli protested.

"Yes you do Eli………and every time I talk about him you get this glazed over look in your eyes and eventually walk away after 5 seconds………" Grace went on, disregarding Eli's distant stare.

"You are always interrupting us…….." Grace went on.

"You were doing a project, I told you not to mind me!" Eli continued to protest.

"Oh please Eli……..you of ALL people should know we weren't going to do a 'project!'" Grace said icily.

"What does that mean?" Eli asked, innocently.

Grace gave a mocking laugh, "you know perfectly well……..and Eli, you embarrassed him……..do you even realize that?" Grace asked, her hands still crossed- Eli forced his lips to remain silent………even though he was dying to tell her the truth………

"Well, Eli?" Grace asked again.

"WHAT?" he practically yelled back.

"What's so bad about Ayden?" she asked, yet again.

"He's not me!"

ELI he's not me………

GRACE he's not Eli……….?

"What?" Grace asked, she lowered her hands from her hips- and stared at Eli, completely confused.

"Nothing" Eli said quickly, hoping Grace would start firing more insults at him and forget about his slip up.

"No, Eli……what did you mean 'he's not you'……..?" Grace pressed him.

Eli stood uncomfortably for a moment, then turned away- walking swiftly into the dining room, and then practically running into the hall- Grace walking right behind him the whole time.

"Eli!" she called, urging him to stop- but he didn't, he kept walking away from her.

He quickly grabbed his coat from the hanger, but as he went to open the door- he found Grace standing in front of him, blocking his exit- his only escape from the truth.

Grace stared up at him, her eyes big and questioning- they peered into his own, and he suddenly couldn't think straight.

"Nothing" he said again, in a whisper this time.

"Eli……..what do you mean he's not you………you cant say something that perplexing and then expect to walk away from it without an explanation!" Grace retorted, trying to soften her quizzical and anxious tone.

ELI if she doesn't stop………I'm going to have to do the one thing I cant do.

GRACE SEE! Do you see what I mean?………he can just completely turn my world upside down……..and not even bother to explain why!

Eli looked away from Grace's big eyes……..he could feel his heart beating, faster than before………and as he turned back to her, and took in the image of her soft featured, angelic, creamy face………..he felt it beat faster again………..and as he stepped forward, wrapped one arm behind her back and pulled her into him- their lips connecting instantly, his heart was rapid and uncontrolled……..and Eli loved the feeling.

ELI the one thing I cant do………. I just did.

GRACE completely, totally, unbelievably……….upside down!

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**: ok, finally an Eli/Grace moment………..and, don't ya just hate the suspense?

Sorry I haven't updated in a while………but I am hitting back with full force, adding tons of new chapters!

Part of my reason for this is to make up for the fact that I wont be here for a week!

As of Tuesday, I will be away on a school camp, and wont return till Friday evening………so you can probably expect an update next Sunday (The 16th, I think)

But until then, read the new chapters and tell me what you think!


	23. Chapter 23

ELI have you ever found yourself falling deeper and deeper into a bad situation……….and you know you could easily get yourself out of it……….but the fact is………you don't really want to?

Grace's eyes closed as Eli's lips fused with hers- she didn't know why she closed her eyes……….because surely that would be a sign that she was enjoying the kiss………so she opened them again, but once Eli's tongue slowly slipped delicately between her lips, she closed them again- unable to stop herself.

GRACE do you ever find yourself, against your will………doing something you shouldn't be doing but………enjoying it even though it's against your will and usually you wouldn't enjoy it……..do you know what I mean?

Eli lifted his hand to Grace's face, gently brushing her cheek- feeling her soft, hot skin on his finger tips- with his other hand, he tightened the grip around her waist, causing her to move even closer to him, he felt one of her hands rest flatly on his chest- he shivered from her touch……..and found himself kissing her harder when he suddenly realized, she hadn't pulled away.

GRACE this is……wrong, unexpected………wrong!

ELI I feel………..relieved, hot, bliss………bliss!

Grace's eyes fluttered open one more time, and she suddenly realized- her and Eli were STILL kissing……..he'd somehow made her lose track of time……….he'd somehow turned her world upside down.

Grace slowly rubbed Eli's chest with her hand, and when he didn't stop- she lightly pushed him away, though she found it hard to……..she had to push him harder- until she had to literally shove him away, forcing their lips to part.

They stared at each other for a moment- the distance Grace had put between them only seemed to grow with the seconds of silence that ticked away………Eli could still feel her rough shove burning on his chest, and Grace could still feel his lips lingering on her own……..neither knew what to do.

Finally Grace opened her mouth, and then closed it just as quickly- suddenly feeling hot tears welling in her eyes, she felt dazed and afraid……..not quite believing that those 2 or so minutes had just really happened………or if she was daydreaming.

She raised her shaking hand to her quivering lips, lightly brushing her

Fingers over them- and sure enough, she could still feel where Eli's lips had just been.

Eli looked away; towards the stairs- he saw the tears in her eyes………and behind those tears was confusion, disgust, dismay…….he saw it all in her eyes………he could read them like a book.

"Grace" he breathed, in a whisper, unable to control his shaking voice.

Grace stared at him for a moment- not even sure if he'd just spoken……..but then, he turned to her, and their eyes met in an awkward instant- and Grace found herself having to look away.

"Grace" he breathed again, though his whisper had a slight urgency in it- as though he needed her to say something……..the thing was, she WAS infact trying to speak, but no words seemed to flow from her lips.

Eli averted his eyes when Grace didn't reply to him for a second time; he knew he couldn't take back what he'd done now, or cover it with some witty, smart remark or excuse……….because you cant take back a kiss……..especially when you put as much passion, intensity and longing into the kiss Eli just gave Grace………you cant take that back………and Eli wasn't even sure if he wanted to.

GRACE cant he just tell me it wasn't real? Cant he just cover this silence with a laugh……..and say it meant nothing?

ELI cant she just say it meant everything to her? Cant she just……….kiss me again and tell me I'm what she wants?

Grace opened her mouth again, and this time, words seemed to form and somehow escape into the open- "I cant…….." she said, and Eli could have sworn she'd uttered more, in the quietest voice- but before he could say anything, she opened the door and escaped- leaving him to drown in the silence………the silence he created.

Eli looked at the closed door- wondering, how in 5 minutes……..he'd managed to confront his fears, create new ones………ruin somebody's life………and now found himself in the same place he started………alone, and without the girl?


	24. Chapter 24

Eli opened his eyes when he heard the door slam.

His body suddenly tensed up, and he leapt from his bed and ran into the house.

"Grace?" he called as he ran into the hallway- his entire face dimmed when he saw it was only Jessie and Zoe.

His entire body sunk, and his heart seemed to deteriorate a little bit more.

Jessie lifted Zoe's science project out of her hands while she took her coat off, it was a large paper model of the earth, sun and other orbiting planets

Jessie looked up when she heard Eli coming, and shot him a deathly stare when he arrived to greet them.

"Hello to you too!" Jessie scowled.

She handed Zoe back her practically life sized project, as she slung her jacket off aswell.

Eli looked at his sister with a questioning face; it was unknown to him why Jessie was in such a bad mood………

Zoe walked past Eli, deliberately bumping him with her shoulder as she walked past- Eli turned and watched her walk into the kitchen……..ok, so all three of his sisters were pissed with him today………

"What?" he asked innocently.

Jessie sighed, then turned to her brother, staring him icily in the eye- "where were you?" she asked, sharply.

Eli continued to look at her puzzled- was this some sort of riddle?

"I called you 5 times E!" Jessie complained, crossing her arms.

ELI I really hate it when girls do that!

"Oh……..Jess!" it all suddenly clicked……….Eli was supposed to pick up Jessie and Zoe from school today!

"Don't 'oh Jess' me Eli……..where were you that you couldn't pick up the phone?" Jessie asked angrily.

"We had to walk ALL the way home……..with Zoe's stupid project………!" Jessie added, tilting her head to the side as she waited for Eli's excuse.

Eli ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of an excuse……..in the end, the truth would have to do.

"I was asleep!" He confessed.

Jessie's stare seemed to grow more intense and more icy, "you were sleeping……….why weren't you at work?………and since when have you become such a heavy sleeper you couldn't hear the phone?"

ELI siblings always seem to know…….that hitting you when your down is the best way to go for ultimate pain!

"Well, Eli?" she asked again, as her patience withered.

Eli sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling a terrible strain slicing through his body.

"They didn't need me at work today………." He said, quietly, but Jessie didn't give him time to explain the rest.

She shook her head and stormed past him, muttering to herself out loud; "had the entire day off and was too busy doing NOTHING to pick up his sister!"

Eli turned and watched her leave; then remembered he had bigger problems than Jessie……..he had Grace to worry about……..

* * *

She contemplated returning to school; maybe sit in the library and get some homework done………or just sit in the quiet and cry softly.

But as she began walking, she found herself unable to stop; her feet were in a rhythmic trance that she couldn't snap them out of……..and she ended up walking around her block 3 or 4 times, and then headed down the end of their road, to the playground her father took her to as a child.

When she got there, her feet seemed to automatically stop; and she took rest on a bench, and watched as the children who had just got back from school, played happily.

For a little while, her mind seemed to numb; and the thoughts that were once pounding and racing in her head, calmed, and eventually completely vanished; but only for a little while………..

She became mesmerized as she watched the children; back and fourth on the swing, dangling from the monkey bars, rushing down the slide……..it all enthralled her, partly because it helped her veer her thoughts……….

GRACE can I take that back……….that moment of my life, can I just rewind and delete it? stare's into camera for a long time, then bites her lower lip Do I want to take it back?

Grace watched as a little boy, with brown curly hair, wearing a bright red jumper, glided down the slide………his hair whipping back, and his smile curving………until finally………his father caught him at the end, and bundled him up into his strong arms.

Grace smiled, as she watched them; and then realized, they were the last 3 people left in the playground………the little boy, his father, and Grace

GRACE with no one to catch me ……..

The rest of her surroundings began to sink in; the dimming light, as night began to fall around her……..the deserted playground………her still quivering lips, and shivering body.

She suddenly realized that there was a soft, yet chilly wind brushing against her skin- she looked down at herself, and saw that she had no coat on.

She blinked her eyes a few times, then examined her watch, it was 5:30, her mother and Rick would be home by 6:00……..and no one knew where she was.

Suddenly the memory she'd pushed aside for an hour and a half, flooded back into her thoughts; and Eli's vivid lips, and warm hands seemed to brush over her again……..as though she was reliving the moment……….reliving the kiss……..

She shivered again, a mixture of the cold air and exhausting thoughts causing her body to ice over, she hugged herself, and rose from the bench, as she stood she felt her entire body stiffen.

As she started to walk away, she looked over her shoulder one last time- and took in the playground……..she smiled as she saw the little boy with his red jumper, walk hand in hand with his father, as they went the opposite direction to Grace.

She smiled, and then felt a single tear roll down her cheek- because some how she knew, the moment of sanctuary she'd just found, was probably her last moment of normality……..somehow she knew that after today……..after that kiss………

GRACE ……….nothing will ever be the same again.


	25. Chapter 25

Eli could only hear the faint sounds Jessie and Zoe were making in the house……..as they walked from the kitchen to the living room, up the stairs to their bedrooms, back down to the living room………and now the soft murmurs of the t.v were all Eli could barely hear as he sat on the edge of his bed- head in hands.

ELI sitting, arched back, with head in hands, distressed I thought it was BAD to keep things bottled up?………maybe it would have been better if I'd let it eat away at me, so she never knew………

The door slamming echoed throughout the entire house………

ELI sits up abruptly, looks into the distance, then back into the camera with a creased brow

All soft murmured noises faded- and all Eli could hear was the thumping of his heart, as he stood, and walked towards the door……….

* * *

Grace stood out front her house, glad to see neither her mother or Rick were home yet.

GRACE standing perfectly straight, looks stiff. Is looking beyond the camera, then focuses her vision so………..?

Without even realizing it, she had started moving slowly towards the front door- it seemed her feet had taken over again……….either that or bravery was finally kicking in?

Once she approached the front door, her mind didn't even need to think- her hand reached out, twisted the handle, and she found herself inside- standing, almost in the exact same position she'd been in when Eli………

GRACE averts her eyes lets not………

She jumped slightly, when the door slammed shut- she hadn't realized she'd closed it so hard- and she instantly regretted it when she heard the rest of the house stir from the loud noise.

Once the thunderous noise stopped echoing in her head- she heard other signs that the house was alive……….an episode of Giligans Island was entertaining Zoe, as she heard her little sister laugh- completely oblivious to Grace's presence.

She could hear Jessie's soft footsteps walking around the kitchen, opening a cupboard, closing it, then more walking……..

And outside, Grace could hear cars on the road- the hushed whooshing noise they made as they drove past, became more apparent to her the closer she listened.

GRACE how can the world still be functioning as normal……..when I'm in this completely lonely, strange place? How can my life change so drastically………yet everything around me………..stay the exact same………as though nothing has happened?

Grace let out a breath, waiting, hoping even for someone to acknowledge her………then………the wrong person did.

* * *

His steps were shaky, his breaths were uneven and almost forced- but as he approached the hallway, and caught site of her………apart of him tensed, and another part warmed- isn't it strange how love can do that to you? Make you feel a million things all at once………..?

He stood for a moment, watching her, watching as her eyes blinked as she took in her surroundings.

He could see she'd been crying, her eyes were big and red, and her face looked drained……… her lips will still quivering slightly………and she looked tense, by the perfectly straight way she was standing.

He'd done all that to her?

"Grace"

It came out in a hushed whisper- almost sounding like a song……….atleast, to his ears, but he could tell by her reaction it had a different meaning.

She turned, and he could see just how big and red her eyes were- and how pale her usually creamy face was.

His heart retreated slightly, as he saw the anguish painted on her face- the anguish he'd caused with one simple kiss that meant a million things.

She seemed to look past him, as though he wasn't really there- and when she continued to stare, wide eyed, he panicked for a moment- almost believing that he didn't exist……….but then she finally spoke-

"Leave me alone"

He looked at her for a moment longer……somehow, the way her eyes stared at him, gave him a softening yet anxious stare- somehow, it didn't fit with the words she'd just uttered.

But after a moment, he had to comply with her wishes; so her averted his eyes from her, and after another moment, he felt her as she breezed past him, and then her soft footsteps filled the hallway- and finally her door closing.

He looked up, at the empty space infront of him, where she'd been standing- her eyes still vivid- and he felt his own beginning to well.

So he turned away, and retreated back into his room………what else could he do?

GRACE leave me alone……….just……….leave me alone.


	26. Chapter 26

"Grace!" Lily yelled up the stairs- aiming her voice at Grace's closed door.

"Grace!" she tried again……..

She opened her mouth for a third time, but Jessie approached her.

"I'll get her" she said softly- needing to save her hearing from Lily's stretched voice- she climbed the stairs, and lightly knocked on Grace's door.

"Dinner" she said simply, and then turned to leave.

But when she didn't hear Grace stir, she turned and knocked again.

"Grace?" she called softly.

Still no reply, so this time she wrapped her hand around the door handle- and continued to press little fairy knocks on the door while she opened it slowly.

Grace didn't even move when light from the hallway flooded into her darkened room, disturbing her peace.

She didn't move a muscle when Jessie crept slowly towards her bed, and kneeled before her, staring into her opened dead eyes- that were too sore from crying to focus on her.

"My god……….Grace……..are you……..what's wrong?" Jessie asked, trying to keep her panicked voice calm.

GRACE what's wrong? My world has been turned upside down and inside out………and I cant change it back……….that's what's wrong!

"Grace?" Jessie called again; trying to break whatever thoughts were running through her head.

Finally, Grace blinked, then stared into Jessie's blue ocean eyes.

Their cool colour washed over her, and she felt a small sense of tranquillity.

"What's wrong?" Jessie asked again; placing her hand gently on Grace's shoulder.

Grace was silent for a moment; knowing she couldn't tell Jessie the truth……..even though every part of her wanted to.

"Bad day at school" she uttered, without even thinking.

Jessie stared into her eyes for a moment; knowing it wasn't the truth……..but what could she do?

"Ok………….well………do you feel like having dinner?" Jessie asked.

Grace continued to stare into her blue eyes…….suddenly feeling sick………"No, just tell mum I'm asleep and I'll have left overs later" Grace murmured, then forced her eyes to close- leaving Jessie with no more to say.

Grace listened as her door softly shut- and then she was back in the dark…….lying on her bed……..wondering how everything had gone so completely………wrong?………awkward?……….different……….

* * *

"E?"

Eli turned around to meet his father's questioning face.

"Yeah dad?" he said, trying to keep normality in his tone.

"You ok?………you seemed……..distant at dinner" Rick replied, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching as his son washed the dishes.

"No……..I'm fine" Eli said, after a moment.

Rick watched his son for a moment longer, unable to tell if he was lying or not- because his back was turned.

"Gee………between you and Grace………" Rick muttered to himself as he left the kitchen.

Eli stared out the window for a moment- me and Grace? He thought to himself……….then went back to the dishes.

* * *

Grace tiptoed through the hallway- still hearing the grumbling of her empty stomach-, which seemed to echo through the entire house.

She walked slowly and quietly into the kitchen- the grumbling becoming louder and deeper the closer to food she got.

Sure enough, when she opened the microwave, there was a dish of left over stir-fry her mother had left for her.

She smiled hungrily and set the timer.

Now the microwave's murmurs cut through her grumbling, but her thoughts still remained…………

* * *

Eli's head lifted when her heard the patted footsteps in the house- and he knew, it was Grace- emerging when she thought everyone would be asleep, for food.

He rubbed his eyes, and gave a deep sigh- it was 2:00 in the morning, and he'd been sitting at his desk, in the total darkness of his room- just waiting for some sort of sound.

He got up form his chair, opened the door- and crept through the house……….until eventually finding his way into the kitchen, where he saw the outline of Grace's white jumper and grey track suit pants, sitting at the kitchen counter, slowly eating from a bowl.

* * *

Grace heard him, when his door creaked opened, and his heavy footsteps tried to be light- - - she heard him, and know she felt his presence, by the door, watching her.

Could she trust her voice to speak? She had to try………

"Not now Eli" she whispered in a husky breath.

Eli jumped back slightly, her voice had cracked through the still of the night- and he had no idea that she even knew he was here………watching her.

"We have to" he found himself saying- though he had no idea where the words had come from.

Her face wearily turned to him, and while he couldn't see her defined features- he could make out her soft lines, and her pale face stood out amongst the dark.

"Not now" she uttered again, and then slid off her stool, walking towards the bin with her food- she'd suddenly lost her appetite.

Eli crept forward; leaving a few meters between himself and Grace- her back was turned to him as she scraped the food into the bin.

"I'm sorry" he whispered; though he didn't mean his apology……..

ELI how could I be sorry for something I've wanted……needed…….. to do for so long?

She said nothing, only listened to Eli's rapid breaths- so close to her, she could feel them lightly tickling her arm.

"Please" he pleaded in a hushed whisper- he wanted to beg her to turn around……..to smile………but he knew she wouldn't.

"No Eli……..we cant talk about this" she finally replied.

Now it was her turn to experience the quiet- as Eli became still.

GRACE anything but silence………anything but that and another kiss!

"Ever?" Eli finally asked, and, without thinking, took a step forward- and was now so close to Grace's turned back, his arm almost lightly brushed hers.

Grace closed her eyes for a moment, pleading with her feet to step away- but for some reason, they stayed grounded- - - and, as she remained still against her will, she felt Eli's hand lightly brush over her arm- she could feel his strong hand brush against her skin, she could feel it through her light jumper.

Finally, her feet snapped out of their trance- and she hastily took a step forward, practically lunging for the sink- where she quietly had to restrain herself from throwing her bowl down and smashing it into a million pieces "ever!" she finally answered his question.

Eli's hand snapped back, and he veered his eyes to the floor- not knowing why he'd reached out……..maybe to make sure it wasn't all a dream………because Grace did look very angelic, floaty even- as though she were only a figment of his imagination.

But she was real, he'd touched her and she was real- he guessed her perfection just came naturally.

And she'd spoken……..not the words he wanted to hear……..but she'd spoken, another sign of her reality.

"Don't I get a say in any of this?" he finally asked.

Grace let out a mocking breath of laughter, and turned around quickly, even in the darkness, Eli could see fire and fury in her eyes- like he'd said, her easiest emotion.

"Did I get a say when you KISSED me?" though whispered, her words were harsh and sharp.

Eli looked away again, feeling blood rush to his cheeks- he was glad for the black cover.

"Well did I?" she asked again, pressing him to answer her obvious question- still, he said nothing.

"Did I get a say when you ruined my seemingly perfect life………a life I'd been waiting so long to taste? And when I finally get a glimpse of it……..you bring everything crashing down!" she took small steps forward with each word she stabbed at him.

"Did I get a say in ANY of that?" – she could feel the familiar tears now, and forced them back.

"No- you didn't" Eli finally answered her, then looked up, now able to see her defined lines because she was so close to him- "you didn't get a say………but I don't regret doing it……..not for a second!" he added, and continued to stare into her eyes.

"How could you!" she whispered in a harsh, husky breath……….

What happened next……..she had no control over………..

One minute she was completely furious, Eli could hear it in her tone, see it in her eyes and icy body language- but still, for some reason……..she just had to kiss him………

"How could you change me so completely like that?" she whispered again- and just as Eli opened his mouth, to protest her angry words- she lunged forward, in one swift motion, their lips connected, for a second time……….

ELI now who's changing who's life?

GRACE I……..I……..don't know………

Her lips tasted bitter, from the tears she'd been crying- but still, Eli found himself engulfed in them, pressing against them harder and harder.

Neither knew where or why this had happened………and the more their kiss intensified, so did their questions.

But still, neither could pull away.

His lips were familiar to her now; even though, this kiss seemed more awkward than their first.

Except, this time, Grace wasn't completely lost in blackness, this time, she saw Ayden's face, while her eyes were closed………she saw Ayden……..and a single tear escaped her eye, rolled down her cheek, and collided with their pressing lips- she had to pull away.

She jumped back, and once again, same as the first time, they were caught in one another's gaze.

"What………?" Eli began, but Grace wouldn't give him the time- he only heard a small whimper escape her lips, and before he could say anything, she bolted past him, and ran- quietly as her feet would allow- up the stairs.

Eli was left in the black kitchen……….tables turned now, as Grace had just turned his world every which way.

And he was left, asking himself………

ELI did I kiss her……..or did she kiss me?

GRACE he kissed me……..and then, I had to kiss him!

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

Wow! I have been so busy doing, not a whole lot this weekend! He he he……what a sad life!

I've been writing updates to this fic- going crazy with bubbling ideas.

And then, for the FIRST TIME EVER, I made some fanart- which I am now addicted to.

I made some Eli/Grace fanart, if you want to see it, go to the homepage link in my profile, it's a link to my yahoo group.

The fanart is in the pictures section……..I'm so proud of them, cause they are my first!

He he he……..anyway……….. don't hate me, but I have to leave you with a nail biting cliff hanger!  
Aren't I just absolutely terrible?

As I told you, I am going away for a week, and this story probably wont be updated until Sunday (the 16th) – so check back then!

Bye bye, and please, don't hate me, I'm just a busy writer!


	27. Chapter 27

"What's the difference?" Jessie sighed as she bought a green apple to her mouth, and took a tentative bite.

"What's the difference?" Lily repeated, mortified.

Jessie shrugged, and took another, larger, bite from the juicy apple; "It's really not a big deal……..to me" she said, slowly, placing her words carefully.

Lily stared at her for a long time, taken back by her care free words; "Jessie-" she said, taking a step towards her, "-this is you're sweet sixteen!" she smiled, and outstretched her hand, to tuck a piece of loss golden hair behind her ear.

Jessie moved away slightly, and Lily's hand fell; "……..Yeah……..and I know it's SUPPOSED to be a big deal, but…….. I truly couldn't care less" Jessie took one more, small bite of the apple, and walked past Lily to the bin, where she dropped it.

JESSIE sometimes I feel so………out of place……..and I just wish there was a hand book to life. Cause, it's like……….if I'm not interested in the things everyone else is interested in……..then I'm an alien!

Like………..parties! Sweet sixteens! Skimpy skirts! Midriff tops! ………. boys………looks nervously at the camera

Jessie turned around, to see Lily's face completely dropped and expressionless; she bit her bottom lip and sighed; "But………I guess………if you really want to throw me a party…………." Jessie began; Lily looked up, a small smile making it's way across her lips.

"……..Then I'd prefer to have a formal party………" Jessie said finally, and tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear.

JESSIE but, everyone once in a while……… I think I might just know exactly what I'm supposed to do……..like a gut instinct………..

"Oh Jessie! This is going to be so great! I promise you will have a GREAT time, all you're friends will come over, it will be elegant……….you will LOVE it, I promise!" Lily's smile grew wider and wider; until she finally took a small step forward, and kissed Jessie quickly on the cheek before leaving the kitchen.

JESSIE ……….and I do the exact opposite!………..

"What's going to be great?" Eli mumbled as he entered the kitchen- only just catching the last snippet of Lily's speech.

Jessie sighed, and took a seat on the kitchen stool- watching as her brother clumsily poured himself a cup of coffee- "my sweet sixteen……….apparently!" Jessie sighed, shaking her head slightly.

Eli turned around, a half smile on his face; "Lily is throwing you a sweet sixteen?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jessie met his quizzical expression, and returned it with an icy glare; "Yes! She is!………and it's going to be elegant, and great……..and………perfect!" she sighed again, allowing her face to slump into her hands.

Eli turned around fully, leaning against the kitchen counter; "And you don't want her to throw you one because………..?" he asked, gently.

JESSIE ………..it's weird looking away form camera………..when I KNOW I've made the wrong decision looks at camera and someone on the outside tells me I've made the wrong decision………….looks away again………and I wonder, how do they know me better than I know myself? Is there something here that I'm missing? That everyone else but me can see?

"I'm fine with it!" Jessie declared, forcing herself to life her chin; "infact, I am looking forward to it!" she half smiled, and Eli's eyebrow rose higher.

"Ok, so what sort of cake do you want?" he asked, crossing his arms.

Now it was Jessie's turn to raise her eyebrow, "what does that have to do with anything?" she asked, perplexed.

Eli half smiled again, "every girl I have ever known has been so excited about their 'sweet sixteen'……..so excited, that since the age of 8 that have been planning it……..right down to the smallest detail………like what sort of cake they want!"

Jessie shrugged, and slid off the stool; "I have always had better things to do with my time than plan a stupid birthday party………and worry about whether to have chocolate or vanilla cake!" Jessie declared, folding her arms as she stood before her brother.

Eli smiled again, and turned back to his coffee; "you cant fool everyone Jess………..once in a while………a few of us get to see you're true emotions………maybe once in a while out could let yourself see them aswell" he turned around, mug in hand, and lifted it to his lips- took a sip, then lowered it again, the whole time fixing his eyes on Jessie.

"That way you wouldn't get talked into doing things you really cant handle!" he looked at her, for a lifetime longer- then turned and left the kitchen, leaving Jessie breathless.

JESSIE something I'm missing……….?


	28. Chapter 28

Eli watched as his sister left the kitchen- or more, stormed out of the kitchen, mumbling something about going over to Katie's house.

He glanced up at the clock, it was 9:00- and because it was Saturday, he didn't expect Grace to be up for another half hour or so……that would give him enough time to run through what he was going to say to her…….

ELI hey! So……..I kissed you………you hated me, or so I thought………and then last night………you totally change everything………you kissed me……….and I loved it………how do you feel?

Eli shook his head, and creased his brow; then rose from his seat at the kitchen table to put his coffee mug in the sink.

ELI so……I think I have made it perfectly clear that I have feelings for you………but, your feelings aren't perfectly clear to me………..you hate me, then you kiss me?

See the problem I'm having here?

He ran a hand through his messed hair, and just as he was contemplating another approach to the touchy subject, the doorbell rang.

He was silent for a moment, and when he didn't hear any footsteps rushing to answer it, and the bell rang again, he sighed and walked into the hallway.

Just as he approached the door, he heard light footsteps at the top of the stairs, he looked up quickly, and caught sight of Grace, in her baby blue jumper, hair hanging loosely, with a touch of pink lipstick……..he looked at her for a moment, their eyes kissing with a gaze……..when the doorbell rang again.

"Coming" Eli said softly; too softly for the person on the other side of the door to hear.

He took another step forward, and opened the door; his heart shattering into a million tiny pieces when he saw Ayden staring back at him, with a polite grin.

"I'm here to pick up Grace" he said pointedly, and when Eli didn't return a reply he smiled a little more, before speaking.

"So, is she here?" he asked, uncertainly.

Eli continued to stare at him blankly, before remembering Grace was just upstairs- listening to the entire conversation.

"She called me an hour ago……..maybe she's not ready yet" Ayden added, finally, breaking the blank silence on Eli's face; he waited a moment longer.

"She's ready" Eli finally breathed, and took a step away from the door; allowing Ayden to step inside.

"Great" he said, looking around the house; Eli watched him, suddenly knowing more than he wanted to.

"Hey"

Both Ayden and Eli turned their heads to the top of their stairs, watching as Grace walked down carefully, eyeing Ayden; but, for one second, Eli could have sworn she fluttered her eyes at him!

"Hey you" Ayden smiled, meeting her at the bottom.

Eli turned away as he saw them lean in for a kiss.

"Lets go"

Eli turned back, to see Grace had left Ayden standing at the last step, a strange, lost look on his face as Grace took her coat from the hanger.

"Ready?" she asked, turning around, with a forced smile.

Ayden nodded, and walked towards her, still a little lost.

"Where are you going?" Eli asked, in a small voice.

"Out!" Grace said over her shoulder, Ayden followed her, but not before turning around to smile at Eli.

"Have a nice day Eli" he said, and closed the door behind him.

ELI not completely clear……….

* * *

Ayden gave Grace a sidelong glance, as she peered into a shop window.

Then averted his eyes to the ground.

"That's so nice!" Grace said, trying to act interested in the black coat hanging in the shop window.

She knew Ayden wasn't interested, but she continued to stop and stare into windows, at items of clothing that really didn't fascinate her………just to cease all conversation, and lengthen their time together.

"Hmm" Ayden murmured, still looking down at the ground.

She turned to him, her eyes sad and longing; he knew something was wrong, but he was waiting for her to say something, rather than ask her.

She knew that much…….and for once, she wished that he didn't read her so well.

"Sorry, I'm just a little……….dazed today" she said, squeezing his hand as she led him away from the shop.

"That's ok," he said, in a small voice, returning the soft squeeze.

She looked over and smiled, forgetting, for a moment, her ultimate betrayal.

They walked, hand in hand, peering into each other's eyes, before Ayden pulled her to a stop, and leaned in for a short, sweet kiss on her vigorous lips.

GRACE don't………

Grace pulled away, hiding her discomfort with a forced smile; but Ayden saw right through it.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked, in a distant voice.

Grace shook her head slowly, and with her free hand, she brought it to his face, cold from the winter chilled air; and softly rubbed his cheek with her fingers.

"I'm just…….." she began, staring into his eyes.

"A little dazed?" he finished for her.

Grace looked away, swallowing hard as she felt a lump form in her throat.

"Yeah" she said, still looking away.

Ayden said nothing for a moment, sensing that she wanted to say something………he didn't want to push……..he wanted her to talk to him, to tell him what was on her mind.

But she didn't.

GRACE I cant……….

"Want to see a movie?" he asked finally, in a sad tone.

Grace turned back to him, glad for the suggestion.

"That'd be great," she said, forcing another smile.

He leaned in, and kissed her quickly, before they started walking again.

This time, when Ayden squeezed her hand, she allowed hers to remain limp in his grip.

And when they were only a little while away from the cinema's, she complained of the cold, and completely let go of his hand, crossing her arms over her chest instead………….all the while, Ayden said nothing.

GRACE I cant……….


	29. Chapter 29

Eli was just leaving the house at 2:00, to go down to book lovers for his shift, when he met Grace, walking towards him; and Ayden's car driving off down the street.

Grace stopped before approaching him, and they locked eyes for a moment before Grace looked away- waiting for Eli to move out of her way, but he didn't.

"Have a nice time?" he asked, icily.

Grace turned back to him, her eyes were glazed with tears ready to fall, she dug her cold hands deeper into her coat pocket.

"Don't" she said, exhausted.

Eli ignored her pained eyes, and continued with his spiteful tone, having had the entire morning and afternoon to build his anger up.

"Don't what Grace?" he asked, knowing his tone was aggressive and accusing; but he couldn't help it.

"Don't stand there and expect me to apologize………I have nothing to apologize for!" she said, still, her voice sounded exhausted; but she stared him straight in the eye, daring him to yell.

"No, you don't……….but you have everything to explain!" he said, taking a step towards her.

She flinched at his movement, but didn't step back, or push past him.

"You kissed me," he said, after a long moment of silence.

Grace continued to stare at him, her eyes losing their sad glaze, and replaced with a pointed accusation; "you kissed me first!" she replied, in a strong voice.

Eli laughed, looking away for a moment, "yes I did………and I told you how I felt……….then you kissed me………and left me with nothing!" Eli replied, digging his own hands into his pockets.

Grace stared at him, hard; for a lifetime, before taking a courageous step forward, leaving only the smallest space between them.

"You kissed me………no words were spoken………you never told me how you felt………." She spoke directly, and coldly.

Eli was about to open his mouth, but Grace continued.

"You didn't tell me how you felt Eli……..a kiss tells me nothing…….." before Eli could speak, Grace pushed past him, and the last thing he heard was the door slamming………

* * *

"We could hire a hall?"

"Whatever"

"Or we could have it in the backyard…….."

"That's fine too"

Lily put her hands on her hips, and looked at Jessie, exhausted.

Jessie looked up from her magazine, as she lay on the couch, Lily standing over her with a pointed expression.

"Backyard would be awesome!" she said, heightening her tone.

Lily's face lit up, "wonderful! I was hoping you'd say that……..I could call Will and ask him to whip something up………" she was about to burst with ideas.

"Sounds……..cool" Jessie said, focusing back on her article about pregnant teens in New York.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, lowering her happiness.

Jessie sighed, and looked back at Lily; "backyard would be awesome……really……..like, the best idea you've had yet!" Jessie smiled, forcedly, but Lily bought it none the less.

* * *

"Great!" she beamed.

Lily turned, about to leave for the kitchen and call Will, when Jessie put her magazine down and looked after her, worriedly.

"Lily?" she asked, in a whisper.

Lily turned around, still smiling, "yeah Jess?" she asked.

"What……..kind of cake will I have?" she asked, in a small voice.

JESSIE I like plum cake……..

"Chocolate……of course!" Lily smiled, and turned back around.

Jessie sighed, but said nothing, only went back to her magazine.

Grace walked into the kitchen, swinging the fridge door open; she peered inside, half listening to her mother's phone conversation.

"Well, I was thinking you could make a makeshift stage………and decorate it with daisies!" Lily beamed.

Grace rolled her eyes as she examined last night's casserole.

"Too much, you think?" Lily asked.

Grace mouthed the word yes, and closed the door.

"Ok, well come over tomorrow and we can discuss every last detail!……….ok?………great!" Lily hung up, and turned to her daughter.

"What's all this about daisies?" Grace asked her mother.

Lily smiled wider, "Jessie's sweet sixteen!" her smile grew even wider……..if that's possible!

Grace rolled her eyes, and headed for the pantry.

"what's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nothing" Grace replied, sluggishly.

"Gracie!" Lily said, her mood deflated.

Grace turned around to face her mother, "Remember my 'sweet sixteen' birthday party that you threw for me?" Grace asked.

Lily smiled from the memory, "I do……..it was great fun to organize!" she beamed.

Grace rolled her eyes for a third time, "mother……….the band played 60's cover songs, the hall we hired hadn't been cleaned in two months and half the people didn't take the 'formal wear required' seriously……..so we had half the girls in flowing gowns, and the other in jeans and t-shirts……….it was a disaster!" Grace flung her hands in the air.

Lily bit her bottom lip; "Oh! But Jessie's will be better……..atleast now we know all the little hiccups to work out!" she said, through a painted smile.

Grace rolled her eyes, yet again; "keep doing that and they'll get lodged in you're brain!" Lily said, lightly poking her daughter in the stomach as she walked out of the kitchen.

"Whatever" Grace whispered, as she also left the kitchen, and headed into the lounge, where Jessie was reading a magazine.

"Your not seriously letting her do this, are you?" Grace asked, pushing Jessie's feet off, making room for her to sit.

Jessie glared at her, "what?" she asked, annoyed,

In a bubbly, lightheaded voice, Grace replied; "you're sweet sixteen!"

Jessie sighed, "it'll be great!" she said, unenthusiastically.

"WO! Bottle that enthusiasm and keep it for a rainy day Jess!" Grace said, sarcastically.

Jessie sighed again, "it will!" she said, sitting up.

"Whatever" Grace replied, picking up the remote, she started flicking through the channels.

JESSIE it wont!

"It will!" She said again; Grace just shrugged.


	30. Chapter 30

**AUTHORS NOTE**

_A__h, so good to be back! I had a lovely time, thankyou!_

_Are you all enjoying the new chapters?_

_Now, for the next few days some are gonna be a little weird, like the whole Jessie thing, and it may seem irrelevant………but everything is linked………it all has a meaning._

_Just, let me show you in due course! Okey? Well enjoy…….._

* * *

"Your late!"

"I'm always late!'

Judy crossed her arms, and tilted her head to the side as Eli flashed her an innocent grin.

"Yeah………but I feel as though I have to yell at you……..being you're boss and all!" she sighed.

"Well………are you done?" Eli asked, slumping his backpack on the floor of the office.

Judy waited for a moment, twirling once around in her swivel chair, then smiled back at him; "yep".

"Good………cause I actually have word to do!" he said, and turned to leave.

Judy shook her head after him, and returned to her paper work.

"Eli!" Kevin smiled as Eli approached him; a big, stupid grin that Eli just knew was attached with a stupid statement………

"Check out the new meat!" Kevin smiled, and pointed to a busty red head spilling some coffee into a mans lap.

Eli sighed and turned to Kevin, "that's great Kev………it really is……….I can see your making progress in this business………someday you'll be running the joint!" he smiled, and walked towards the sink and started pouring water.

"Ya think, really?" Kevin followed him; and before he could say anything else, Eli handed him a bucket of water.

"The cappuccino machine needs cleaning" he said quickly.

"Geez………what's with you?" Kevin asked, watching as Eli busied himself around the small café.

"Nothing………just……..nothing" Eli replied hastily, as he cleaned the bench down with a rag.

Kevin shook his head, dipped a cloth into the water, and sluggishly started washing the machine.

Eli looked up at Kevin, muttering to himself about something useless……..

ELI don't shakes his head

"Hey……..Kevin!" Eli said, in a small voice.

Kevin turned around, "yeah man?" he asked, glad to be preoccupied from the cleaning.

ELI don't!

"Can I ask you something……..like, a serious question?" Eli asked, leaning against the kitchen top.

Kevin leaned against the machine, "yeah……go for it!" he said, a little uninterested.

Eli stood straight, walking over to Kevin, as to keep their conversation quiet.

"What would you do………if you kissed a girl you could NEVER have……..then she hated you for it……….but kissed you again?" Eli asked, his brow creased as he studied Kevin's unamused face.

ELI why?

"Err………well……..do you like the girl?" Kevin asked.

"What's the difference? I kissed her, and I can't have her!" Eli replied, annoyed.

Kevin scratched at his small goatee, and looked up at Eli earnestly.

"It makes all the difference man! Like……..if you seriously dig her, she would have felt it in the kiss………if you didn't then, she would know it was just a mistake, ya know what I mean?" Kevin asked.

ELI that actually makes sense………but………how?

"I think I do" Eli said, leaning against the machine aswell, he ran a hand through his hair.

"So………If I did really 'dig' her………I wouldn't have to say anything to her after the kiss, she'd just know?" Eli asked, turning to Kevin.

He nodded once, and Eli smiled; "then she owes me an apology!" he said, to himself.

"Yeah……and the kissing you back thing……….?" Kevin began, and Eli sat up, eager to hear his thoughts.

"That's just the weird way chicks work………don't ask me chick stuff…….." Kevin muttered, and went back to cleaning the machine.

"Ask the new meat" Kevin added, nodding to the red head.

Eli sighed and shook his head, "Nah…….I'll be right" he replied.

* * *

**_Slip past the water line plunge in to the world I know,  
hear silence all around me here I go with the flow._**

Grace stared at herself in the mirror as she ran her red brush through her hair; eyeing the dark bags forming under her eyes.

**_don't hold me under i'm coming up for air,  
like distant thunder soon i will be there._**

She hummed along to the lyrics as they sifted through her bedroom and into her head, not so much concentrating on them, but allowing them to flow through her, allowing the………awkwardness of the day to wash away.

_**i'm in too deep, don't let me drown,  
i'm in too deep, rescue me now,   
so hard to keep from fading out of sight,  
i'm in too deep, come save my life.**_

She placed her brush on the edge of the sink, and turned her head slightly, examining the straight strands that fell on her shoulders; she turned and walked into her room, still humming to the song.

**_i start to mouth the words but find i cannot speak  
in my private universe but my arms are getting weak_**

**_this floating feeling please make it never end,  
the ocean ceiling so far i can't pretend._**

**_don't hold me under i'm coming up for air,  
like distant thunder soon i will be there._**

**_i'm in too deep..._**

Just as it ended, she heard the front door close creakily, and she knew Eli was home.

She breathed in slightly, and, without realizing, felt her fingers brush lightly over her lips……..she pulled her hand down quickly.

"Cause I'm in too deep…….." she hummed as she walked towards her door and stepped out into the hallway, catching a glimpse of Eli's brown jacket from the top of the stairs.

She half smiled, as she started walking slowly down the stairs; and without warning, heard herself calling his name.

"Eli" she whispered, in the quietest voice………he shouldn't have heard her, but he did, and turned around just as she came to the last step, and stood before him.

"Grace" he breathed.

She smiled again, and examined his face; the lines that were creased into the corners of his mouth from laughter, the sparkle of his green eyes, the fall of his brown ruffled hair………

"You know this is wrong" he smiled wickedly.

"I know" Grace breathed.

She studied his eyes for a moment longer, knowing what his next move would be, she didn't move away……..she remained still, and waited for the moment when their lips touched………

Their kiss was hard, but his hands brushed over her chest lightly, like air; she felt herself falling deeper and deeper into the kiss……..and just as she began to give in to his roaming hands and tempting lips………he pulled away, and she found herself staring into Ayden's eyes.

"You knew it was wrong" He said in a hoarse whisper that sent a vibration through her spine.

"She knew"

Grace turned around, to see Eli, at the top of the staircase looking down at her; she turned back to Ayden, who had a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"You knew?" he asked her, his voice trembling.

"She still knows………." Grace turned back to Eli, who was slowly walking down the stairs, towards her and Ayden, an equally hurt frown on his face.

She opened her mouth, about to whisper her apologies, but an ear piercing scream came out instead; this jarred her awake……..

Grace sat up in bed, her breaths hot and rapid, she felt sweat on her forehead, and touched it lightly.

"Grace, honey, you still awake?" Lily called from her room.

"Just going to the bathroom" Grace called back, struggling to find the words thorough her heavy breaths.

"Ok" Lily replied, and silence filled the room once more.

"Oh my god……" Grace murmured, as she flung her blankets off her hot body, she walked into the bathroom, and turned the tap on.

Washing her face, she looked back into the mirror, at the water drops falling from her brow, and studied the bags under her eyes.

She shook her head slightly, trying to clear her thoughts, and to steady herself, put her hands on either side of the basin; but she heard something crash.

She looked down and realized her red brush had fallen from it's place on the edge of the basin……..and now lay on the floor.

She stared at herself again, before turning and slipping back between the covers; forcing her stinging eyes shut………….

* * *

**_AUTHORS NOTE_** song Grace was listening to was Charlton Hill's 'deep'. 


	31. Chapter 31

Grace walked uneasily towards the group of girls she'd come to familiarize with.

Deliberately avoiding her eyes from the hockey field, where Ayden was practicing with his team- she continued to walk steadily, keeping her head down.

"Grace!"

She looked up for a moment, flashing a quick smile, which falsely widened as she took her place next to Naomi, who flung her hair to one side as she turned to smile at Grace.

"What's up?" She asked, keeping the whitened smile plastered on.

Grace reflected the grin; "nothing much………..how are things with you?" she asked politely.

GRACE (sitting stiffly on chair looking at camera; with a Cheshire cat, exaggerated, firm smile) keep smiling………(speaking through clenched teeth)

"Great!" Naomi bounced back, and finally turned away from Grace to watched the hockey game.

Grace relaxed her face; glad Naomi was no longer looking.

GRACE (releases her smile, slumps shoulders slightly and massages her jaw)

"So, are you going tomorrow Grace?"

Grace turned around, and gave a small smile, the only kind she could manage; to Melissa, who was looking at her, eagerly awaiting her answer.

"Going where?" Grace asked.

"The party!" Melissa replied, flinging her hair to one side.

Naomi quickly turned around, and flashed Melissa a piercing baby blue eyed stare.

"Sorry" Melissa croaked.

"What?" Grace looked from the glaring Naomi to Melissa, and back again, unsure of the uneasiness that had fallen over the group.

Finally, Naomi slowly turned to Grace, with a small, sincere smile.

"Sorry Grace………I just didn't think you were the kind who was 'into' parties" she said, sympathetically.

"What party?" Grace asked again, unable to keep the annoyance from her tone.

Naomi stared at her for a moment longer, "nothing really………it's just………my parents are you of town, and well………I'm having a rather large gathering tomorrow night" she stared at Grace with her blue, twinkling eyes; and Grace found it almost impossible to snigger at her fake kindness- she knew full well that Naomi didn't want her there.

"Oh" Grace said, in a small voice.

"See! You are totally uninterested……..right?" Naomi asked, widening her small smile.

"Err……….well………..who's going?" Grace asked, in a timid voice.

Hayley piped up, in her enthusiastic voice; "the entire school………practically! It's gonna be massive!"

Naomi shot her a sideways glare, and her enthusiasm deflated.

Grace looked down at the ground for a moment, then back to Naomi; "Is Ayden going?" she asked.

Naomi was silent for a moment, staring Grace in the eye; "I spose………"

GRACE why didn't he tell me……….?

"Oh………well………he didn't tell me anything about it………..but, I guess if he's going, I'd love to" she looked back at Naomi, who had totally neglected her fake smile, and allowed her disappointment to show.

"Whatever……..that's cool………be there at 8" she said, and turned back to the game.

* * *

"Hey!" Ayden walked off the field and approached Grace; still fiery with energy, he wrapped his arms around her middle, and pulled her slightly off the ground for a sultry kiss.

They parted, the faint taste of salt on Grace's lips, she smiled, and handed him his water bottle, which he drank quickly.

"Ready to go?" He asked, once he grabbed his sports bag.

Grace nodded, and took his hand as they started walking towards his car in the parking lot.

"So, what do you want to do tomorrow?" she asked, once they got in.

Ayden said nothing for a moment as he started the car; but felt Grace's eyes on him.

"I don't know………what do you want to do?" he asked.

Grace continued to study his profile, looking for the slightest hint that he was lying to her……….

"I don't know……..anything!" she smiled.

Ayden flashed her a side ways glance, and let out a sigh; "Well Naomi is having this party………but we don't have to go to that" he turned back to the road as he pulled out of the school driveway.

Grace's shoulders loosened as he spoke, glad that he'd told her; she knew he probably would have asked her about it eventually………

"I know about the party…….." Grace said, turning to look out of her window.

"You do?" Ayden replied, in a small but surprised voice.

"Yes………and I want to go" Grace added, but didn't turn back to him.

"You do?" Ayden repeated again, shock and surprise both obvious in his tone.

Grace looked back at him, her brow creased; "Yes, why wouldn't I?" she asked, concerned.

"Well………I didn't think you were really into 'parties'………"

"That's exactly what Naomi said………" Grace looked back out the window.

"She did..……?"

Grace turned back to him; "Why wouldn't I be into parties?……..Cause of the drinking, smoking and drugs………?"

Ayden turned to her, a little uneasily, and then back to the road, leaving a wide gap between her question and his answer; "Grace………your not like Naomi and those other girls……….." he started.

Grace cut in, "what? Pretty, you mean? Pretty and perky? Who says I'm not pretty and perky? I can be perky……..and pretty!" she snapped.

"Wo, wo wo!" Ayden interrupted her, "I never said that………Grace………you are beautiful!" He flashed her a sincere grin, which she simply had to return.

"I meant………you aren't like them, in the way that you actually have more to you………your smart, independent, funny, charming………I could go on for days!" he turned back to her, a small smile still on his face.

"They, aren't into much more than their boyfriends and parties………" he turned back to the road.

"Oh" Grace said, in a quite whisper.

"I just didn't think you'd want to go to one of those beer guzzling parties, that's all"

"But your going?"

"Yeah, well, I promised some people that I'd be there………but really, I hate those stupid parties!"

He turned back to Grace, his dark eyes scanning her soft face, "I'd much rather spend my Saturday night with you………I'd rather spend any night with you!" he smiled, sweetly.

"Er………well I'd still like to go to the party- and that way you will be spending you're Saturday night with me!" Grace smiled.

Ayden said nothing, then looked at Grace's face for another moment, he finally sighed; "Ok, whatever you want…….."

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Sooooooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in ages! I have been completely and totally swamped with school work, and social life stuff……..sorry!

Umm………. I will try SO hard to update this weekend; so just check back every once in a while!

I promise I will have a downpour of chapters soon, when I get some time!


	32. Chapter 32

"So, who is this Naomi?"

"Err……..a friend of mine……"

"I haven't heard you mention a Naomi before!"

Grace quickly lifted the basket of bread, nodding mindlessly as she entered the dining room- her mother following close behind with a bowl of salad.

"Naomi?" Lily repeated as she set the salad down, "No…..never heard of her!" she said, and went back into the kitchen- Grace following.

"So can I go?" Grace asked, as she leaned against the kitchen counter and watched her mother stir the pumpkin soup.

Lily looked up for a moment, and studied Grace as she lightly bit her bottom lip.

"Hmmm……..well……..will her parents be there?" she asked.

Grace looked down at the bench for a moment, then back at her mother; "I'd presume so……..I mean……..it's just a small gathering, so it doesn't really matter if they're not……." Grace answered simply.

"Well, yes it does Grace…….." Lily replied, as she turned around and picked up the salt shaker.

"I don't want you going to an un-supervised party…….." she added, as pinch's of salt sprinkled over the soup.

"Gath-er-ing!" Grace corrected, as she took a few steps towards her mother, "It's a gathering, not a party……..and yes………. I am 99.9 percent sure Naomi mentioned her parents being there" Grace supplied her mother with what she wanted to hear.

Lily turned to her daughter, noting the deep creased lines on her brow as she awaited her fate……….

"Oh please Grace…….." Lily sighed.

"Mother! ……….regardless of the fact that this party MAY or may-not be supervised………you should trust ME……….. you know me, I'm mature, organized, thoughtful- I wouldn't do anything stupid!" Grace whined, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for her mother to speak again.

LILY I know what it was like………social life is everything……..and if your not at THE party…….you may aswell forget about living!

"Mother?" Grace asked again.

Lily looked at Grace, and sighed once again.

"Fine, fine! So long as Ayden has you back here by 10:30!" Lily demanded.

"10:30? Mother……….I am 17!" Grace cried.

Lily put her hands on her hips, and stared at Grace; "stop calling me 'mother' in that tone………..I said you can go to this Naomi's party, but you have to live with the curfew………no curfew, no party!" Lily said pointedly!

LILY god……….kids are so shallow!

"Fine!" Grace huffed, and took the last of the knives and forks into the dining room- just as Eli came through the door, home from work.

Grace sluggishly looked up; his blue work shirt was half tucked into his baggy black chord pants- his hair was ruffled, from the cold wind outside.

He looked at her for a moment; and she quickly averted her eyes, concentrating on the table.

"What's for dinner?"

Grace looked up, to see Eli eyeing the bread, his hands in his pockets- he talked in a small voice, and avoided Grace's gaze.

GRACE (looking frustrated) how can he just……….?

"Pumpkin soup!" Grace sighed, as she placed the last fork down.

Eli nodded slowly……….watching as Grace scanned the table, making sure everything was in order.

GRACE ………..keep acting so 'fine' about all of this……….keep going on………cant he just……….disappear?

Eli looked down, at his feet; "so the funniest thing happened at work today………." He started, but his small smile faded when he looked up to find Grace had hastily retreated back into the kitchen.

"o-k" he said to himself, and took a seat at the table- picking up a bread roll, he tore it in half, and slowly bit into it………

ELI how can she just………hate me so much………when I. ………Don't hate her?……….why cant I hate her for making me feel this way?

* * *

"So, are we all home this weekend? Cause I was hoping for a family dinner tomorrow………" Rick started, as he sipped his wine.

Grace spooned her soup, and turned to look at Rick; "actually, I wont be home tomorrow night" she said, quietly.

"Neither will I" Jessie chimed in, looking up from her own soup.

"I kinda have something on………" Eli mumbled, not wanting to be the only one stuck at home; even though an evening with his father, Lily and Zoe sounded like fun……..he was sure he could find something better to do.

"What? What do you mean? When did you kids start a getting a social life!" Rick muttered, looking down the table at Lily- whose mouth was agape, staring in shock at Jessie.

"Jess- I thought we were going to have a big planning day for you're party!" Lily gasped.

JESSIE (staring pointedly into the camera)

Jessie fidgeted in her seat, and turned to Lily- "I know……….but I'm going out in the evening, with Katie's family, so we will still have the ENTIRE day to plan" Jessie mumbled, looking down at her orange soup.

Lily sighed; "but we have so much to plan………you haven't made any final decisions on ANYTHING! And we would probably work through the night………and since when were you going out with Katie's parents……..?" Lily asked, trying to hold back her disappointment; though everyone could hear it, regardless.

JESSIE (taking small breaths, still looking at camera)

Jessie straightened in her seat, and turned to Lily; "Well I'm sorry Lily- I told dad about a few days ago……..and promised Katie I'd go……..so, I am sorry, but we will just have to do it another day……..we still have 4 weeks until my birthday!" Jessie spoke in a quiet, yet stern voice- both Eli and Rick were praying that Lily wouldn't push the subject………because they knew she'd be met with a massive attack from Jessie!

JESSIE (looking at camera, opens her mouth, and lets out an enormous scream!)

Lily continued to stare at Jessie, and the entire family waited for a response- finally, Lily blinked, and slowly nodded her head; "Ok fine, your perfectly right" she breathed, and took her wine glass, bringing it to her mouth.

JESSIE (staring into camera, taking exhausted, rapid breaths)

Grace spooned her soup again, not particularly hungry.

"What are you doing?"

Grace looked up, and was met by Eli's curious green eyes, watching her intently………she wondered for how long.

Grace sat upright, feeling the rest of the family's eyes on her; "when?" she asked.

"Tomorrow night; where are you going?" Eli clarified, and continued to wait for an answer.

Grace fidgeted once more, and stared Eli in the eye; "To Naomi Seakin's party………with Ayden".

Eli and Grace's eyes locked for a moment longer, but were interrupted by Rick's voice; "Oh! Ayden……..he's a nice guy………isn't he a nice guy Lil?" Rick looked down the table at Lily- whose lips were still pursed; she nodded unconsciously.

"Well, have fun Grace" Rick finished, and took a mouthful of soup to his lips, slurping hungrily.

"Thanks" Grace smiled, though her eyes were still on Eli.

He finally broke their gaze-

ELI (opens his mouth……..about to yell)


	33. Chapter 33

AUTHORS NOTE a present from me to you- cause I haven't updated in AGES! I have given you an EXTRA long, EXTRA sad chapter!

Enjoy!

"I just don't know what to do" Jessie sighed into the phone.

On the other end, Katie, who had been listening patiently to her girlfriends drained emotions, sighed aswell; "Baby, it's going to be alright……….Lily just wants to help………" she tried soothing.

"I know she does………..but, she can be so controlling sometimes! And, it's like this is HER sweet sixteen……..I'm just the loser at the head of the table!" Jessie sighed again, and waited to hear Katie's comforting voice.

Katie let out a small laugh; "So why don't you tell her?" Katie asked.

"Tell her what? That I think all her ideas are stupid, and pointless cause I don't even want a party in the first place?" Jessie asked wearily.

Katie laughed again, "well, a little more eloquently than that- but yeah! Let her know how you feel………" Katie urged.

Jessie was silent for a moment, "No, I cant do that- this means a lot to her………like she really wants to make this great for me……… I know she's just trying so hard to be the good step mother and best friend……..and it'll all be over in 4 weeks……so I'll just let her go ahead with the stupid party!" Jessie sighed.

"Ok sweety, you know best" Katie gave in, mockingly.

"Shut up-" Jessie laughed.

Katie's husky laugh soon died down, "so, I'll come get you at 7:00 tonight, right?" Katie asked, happily.

"Yep, 7:00!" Jessie repeated.

"Ok, I have to go………I love you babe!" Katie spoke softly.

"Love you more!" Jessie replied, and pressed the dial off button on the phone.

* * *

Grace turned around, examining herself from all angles- a vain habit she wished she could stop.

Her black pants, and long-sleeved, v-neck baby blue top went perfectly- topped off with Jessie's pointed, small heel black shoes.

Her hair, which had grown out a fair bit-, hung loosely past her shoulders, in free ringlet curls, which made her face appear softer.

And finally, a tinge of pink blush, curled black eyelashes, and a smear of soft red lipstick finished off her beautiful look.

She looked down at her wristwatch, it was 5:00, and Ayden wasn't coming until 6:30.

* * *

"So, where are you off to tonight?" Rick asked, as he met Eli in the lounge room, channel surfing.

Eli looked up at his father, excuses running through his head; "I'll call someone and see what's on……..might catch a movie………or just stay home" Eli turned back to the television.

Rick nodded, "Sounds like fun" he said, in a flat voice- and walked away, into the kitchen.

"Yeah- fun!" Eli said to himself, sarcastically.

* * *

"Grace can I borrow a-"

Grace turned away from her computer screen and stared sternly at Zoe- who had just invaded her room without knocking.

"What?" Grace asked, when Zoe didn't continue speaking.

"You actually look pretty!" Zoe said, a little surprised.

Grace sighed angrily, "that's not so hard to believe!".

Zoe let out a small laugh, "it kinda is………" she retorted.

Grace frowned, "get out!" she yelled.

"Can I borrow you're-" Zoe tried again.

"Out!" Grace barked.

Zoe continued to laugh, but left Grace in peace.

* * *

Zoe pushed Eli's foot off the couch, and nuzzled her way into the small space beside him.

Eli huffed, and gradually positioned his body to make way for the invading Zoe- "Change channel" Zoe commanded, staring blankly at the basketball game Eli was watching.

"Wait till half time" Eli mumbled, tightening his grip on the remote.

"Oh!" Zoe groaned, as she slumped back on the couch, folded her arms and icily watched the game.

"Is it half time yet?" she asked, 2 minutes later.

"No Zoe!" Eli replied, etching further away from her as she bought her feet onto the couch.

"Move over some more" she asked, digging her foot into his back.

Eli did as he was told, hoping she'd eventually be quiet.

"Eli! I have no room!" Zoe moaned.

He huffed and turned to her, breaking away from the game, "Zoe! You're a midget! How much room do you want?" he asked angrily.

Eli received another blow to his back, he cried out and stared at Zoe angrily; "watch it!" he said sharply.

Zoe shrugged, "well, move over!" she answered, simply.

Eli rubbed his back, "go bug you're sister or something!" he moaned, feeling his back stiffen.

Zoe shrugged again, "already did that- she kicked me out of her room!"

"Sounds understandable" Eli muttered- and felt Zoe's foot press against his back again.

"Zoe!" he yelled out again.

"I can't go and annoy Grace- she's getting ready for her date!" Zoe sighed.

ELI of course she is………her date with Mr. Wonderful Ayden!

Eli looked down at the remote in his hands, then back at Zoe.

"Here" he said, handing it over to her.

"Where are you going?" Zoe asked, though she wasn't really concentrating- as she flicked the t.v into CNN.

Eli got up, and started walking towards the stairs.

"Well somebody needs to bug Grace" he muttered; knowing that Zoe had lost all interest and wouldn't put a great deal of thought into his words.

"OK" she said, losing concentration.

* * *

"Come in!" Grace called out, as she turned off her computer.

She spun around, and found Eli's face poking through her door.

GRACE great……..

"Err………hey" Eli stepped through her door, closing it softly behind him.

"What do you want?" Grace asked, cringing as she heard she cynicism

in her voice.

Eli turned back, his face emotionless as he stared at Grace; trying hard not to notice how beautiful she looked………

Eli shook his head slowly, "sorry, I'll go" he whispered finally, and turned to reach for the door handle again.

"No- don't go" Grace whispered back, in the softest breath;

"What did you want?" she asked, urging him to turn back- he finally did- but his face was still guarded with a bleak emotion.

"I thought we could talk," he said slowly.

GRACE talking is the last thing I need………

Grace looked down at her hands, and then back to Eli, realizing no lights were on in her room- as she could hardly see his face.

"Sure" she whispered, and rose from her chair, striding over to her bedside table, she flicked her small lamp on; which supplied a soft glowing light.

"But, I'm leaving at 6:30………" Grace added, turning back to face Eli- he stood, slightly slouched, with his hands dug deeply into his pocket, looking down solemnly at his feet.

He looked tragically handsome.

Grace breathed out, and blinked her eyes; she took a seat on her bed, and nodded at her desk for Eli to sit on her swivel chair.

"Thanks" he breathed, as he slowly sat down.

They both looked away, waiting for the other to speak first……….

"Ayden really is a great guy" Eli broke in.

Grace nodded, "He is" she replied softly.

"And……..that's what makes this so hard……….cause I don't want to, you know, hurt him or anything……….cause I don't have anything against him………" Eli added.

"Of course" Grace nodded again, and turned to Eli, who was rubbing his hands together slowly.

"And I know you really like him……….and you guys have a good thing going………"

"We do" Grace supplied; though her answer seemed lifeless.

"But……….Grace……….." Eli looked up, surprised to see her eyes already on him.

"I kissed you………."

She looked away again, just as Eli knew she would………

"And you kissed me………hard as that is for you to recount………you kissed me for whatever reason………and I'm not complaining or anything………I'll gladly take any affection that you throw at me………but the thing is………. I need to know where we stand!"

GRACE so do I.

Grace looked back at Eli, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"What?" Eli asked; noticing the small laugh lines emerging.

Grace looked down; "where we stand…….." she repeated.

Eli said nothing.

Grace looked back at him; "we are stepbrother and stepsister…….." she started, looking at him pointedly; her laughter gone now.

She stood slowly, but remained on the other side of the room.

"That's all we will ever be……..all we can be……and as for me kissing you……..that was just an outburst……..a regrettable outburst that I'd give anything to take back!"

ELI don't……..

"I know you don't mean that!" Eli looked into her eyes; searching for something to tell him her words weren't true………

"You don't know anything Eli!" Grace retorted, keeping her voice level.

"No, Grace…….. I felt……….." Eli stopped, not wanting to share what whimsical notions he had of the two of them with Grace; not when she was like this……..so adamant to hide her feelings.

"What? You felt something?" Grace asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Eli looked away, feeling his eyes begin to sting.

"I'm sorry for whatever misleading feelings I conjured up inside of you Eli……..but that kiss meant nothing!"

Eli stood, and Grace silenced herself; she saw the pain in his eyes, and knew she shouldn't have gone so far……..

GRACE please walk away!

"Yes! I felt something! And every day since and before then I've been feeling something………every time I look at you, when I catch you staring at me……….when you speak, or just when you're in the same room as me!" Eli was pushing back the tears, and trying hard to lower his voice;

"You told me that I left you with nothing……that a kiss doesn't tell you anything………well I think it does! I think I poured myself into that kiss…….. I held you in my arms and kissed you like I've never kissed anyone before………..!" He felt a single tear escape, but still, he went on, ignoring Grace's pained, wide eyes.

"Now you can stand there, and talk to me in that goddam hard btch tone of your's, and tell me that it meant nothing……..tell me how completely perfect and happy you are with Ayden……….but I know………when I kissed you, and when YOU kissed ME………I know what I felt……….because I'd been dying to feel it for so long………!" he took deep, rapid breaths, exhausted from his words; and now, with nothing left to say; he and Grace stood, facing one another……….with no words that could explain how either of them felt.

GRACE I know.

ELI please……..let her know!

Grace felt her eyes begin to sting; but continued to stare into Eli's……….

"I'm sorry," she finally breathed.

GRACE I don't want to do this.

"I'm sorry for whatever you thought you felt……and for how you wanted me to feel………."

Eli wanted her to stop right there; but she went on………still with a mask on her face, hiding her true feelings.

"………I am with Ayden………and while you think this has everything to do with you and me……..it doesn't……….because I am WITH Ayden……..and I think………."

ELI please don't.

"…………..I think I might be falling in love with him………."

ELI (holds his head in his hands)

GRACE (looking into camera, turns away)

Eli looked away; glad for the silence now, as Grace couldn't think of what else to say.

"I know why you're pushing me away Grace………" He spoke, softly

"You have to know Eli……. I don't choose you……….I choose Ayden………"

"You're pushing me away because you don't want to feel what you're feeling for me!"

"I choose Ayden!" Grace repeated, hoping it would stop Eli's words.

"I cant give up" He ended.

Grace looked into his eyes; "I-choose-Ayden" she said, sternly.

Eli nodded once, and opened his mouth, about to say more, when the doorbell rang.

"GRACE! AYDEN'S HERE!" Zoe yelled from downstairs.

Grace and Eli continued to stare; until finally, Grace moved away……..and left the room.

"Goodbye Eli" she said over her shoulder, and he heard her soft steps down the stairs.


	34. Chapter 34

Naomi's house was a two-storey, weather board - standing on one of the most prestigious streets in the area- it was definitely classy- with rose bushes in the front garden, a trimmed green lawn- and Grace saw Naomi's BMW parked in the drive way.

"You look beautiful tonight"

Grace glanced at Ayden and gave him a warm wistful smile- they hadn't said a word in the car, though Ayden had tried to start a light conversation.

All Grace could do was nod and murmur, then look out the window- Ayden eventually got the idea, and Grace was glad that he knew her so well.

"You said that already" she replied, keeping a warm tone.

Ayden nodded once, and looked at the ground as they walked, with a small distance between them- towards Naomi's front door, where several other people were also heading- some, already drunk.

"I did," he said softly.

Grace glanced over at Ayden, she felt like doubling over in pain.

GRACE how can I hurt him so much?

"I'm sorry" Grace murmured, looking straight ahead, at the stumbling teenagers who started filtering through Naomi's front door.

GRACE I seem to be saying that a lot lately……….not that it makes any difference.

They finally made it to the door- and before entering, Ayden turned to Grace.

"I know" he said simply, and walked through.

Grace followed, the pain unbearable now as his coded message lingered in her mind- it sounded to her like he was defeated, weakening- getting sick of her……….which was fair enough, seeming as she hadn't exactly been the perfect girlfriend recently.

Her thoughts were soon crowded with a thumping music, and the sound of high-pitched laugher.

Grace took in her surroundings- the house was bursting with people, which was surprising seeming, as it was only 7:30!

They were trailing up the staircase, all with drinks in hand.

Some were hanging around the doorway- and, as far as Grace could see, there were big numbers in all other rooms of the house.

"Ayden" she called out, realizing he was walking away from her.

He barely heard her voice over the thumping music, but turned none the less.

She moved close to him, and leaned in so he could hear her words, "Lets dance" she said, as loudly as she could.

Ayden looked into her face; she smiled sweetly, and enthusiastically, a smile Ayden hadn't been blessed to see in such a long time………

He gently took her hand and led her into the spacious lounge room, which had apparently been dubbed, the dance room!

* * *

Eli's door swung open, and Lily appeared, with a handful of folded clothing.

"Oh, I'm sorry- I didn't think you'd be home" she said, taking a tentative step into his room.

Eli sat back, and nestled his guitar back in his arms, "Yeah" he mumbled, as he strummed the strings gently.

Lily hurried herself, placing his folded clothes on his dresser.

"Hmmm……….well I wont disturb you," she said, as she walked towards his door.

"Thanks Lil" he called, as she left his room.

"No problem hun" she called back, and closed his door.

Eli strummed his guitar again; not paying any attention to the accuracy of his notes- the tune came out completely wrong and distraught.

He sighed, and placed the guitar on the bed beside him, and brought his legs up, so his head was resting on his knees.

ELI how can things always go so wrong for me? I mean………there should be some sort of equality between people……….you know, everyone has their fair share of wins and loss's………I only ever seem to lose!

Eli turned his head, and stared down at his guitar; he had a million thoughts racing around in his head, thoughts of Grace, of him and Grace……….of Grace and Ayden……….of Grace and what could never be.

Usually, Eli would air these thoughts through music, write them down and somehow make sense of the jumbled emotions pouring out of him- and eventually turn them into lyrics, or notes……….but he just couldn't right now.

Right now everything seemed pointless……….

* * *

Grace smiled widely as she took in big gulps of breath.

Ayden leaned against the wall of the kitchen, and took a sip from the bottle of water in his hand- he listened to the thumping music, and felt the vibrations tingling through the walls and gently tickling his back.

"That was great!" Grace yelled, smiling wider at Ayden.

"What?" He yelled back, looking at her quizzically, but still smiling.

Grace took another breath, and leaned in closer, "THAT WAS GREAT!" she yelled.

Ayden pulled away, hearing her loud and clearly- she laughed, and mouthed the word 'sorry', having not realised how loudly she was speaking.

Ayden nodded once, and held up his water, offering her some.

Grace took it, and drank thirstily- when she'd had enough; she pulled it from her lips, and stared hungrily at Ayden.

His dark eyes roamed her face, and his lips curved into an innocent smile.

She moved in closer, bringing her hand to the back of his head, she lightly ran her fingers through his tousled hair, and gently pushed his head forward- until their lips met- it was intoxicating.

She pulled away, and they stared into each other's eyes for a moment- then Grace started to laugh giddily.

Her hips slowly swivelled in a circular motion, and Ayden laughed.

She raised her arms above her head, and closed her eyes- the music was like ecstasy- flowing through her body, causing it to turn and thrust with the exhilarating beat.

She heard Ayden's laugh, and opened her eyes, she smiled happily, and moved closer to him, so her hips swivelled around his own.

Eventually, after turning crimson red, Ayden accompanied his partner- and placed his hands gently on her curvy hips, she smiled and laughed some more- "shall we dance?" she asked, in a husky voice.

Ayden smiled, and leaned in for another long kiss.

When they parted, Grace grabbed his hands, and pulled him back into the living room- and onto the dance floor for another round………….

GRACE dancing sooths the soul……….right?

* * *

**_Always, Always and forever,_**

Eli rested his hands on his stomach, and stared up at his black ceiling- he sighed, and rolled over onto his side- but the discomfort and pain was still there.

**_Im sitting here, im thinking back_**

**_to a time when i was with you_**

**_my memory is clear as day_**

**_im listening to the dishes clink_**

**_you were downstairs you would sing_**

**_songs of praise_**

**_and all the times I laughed with you_**

**_and all the times that you stayed true to us_**

**_and now we say_**

**_i said i thank you i'll always thank you,_**

**_more than you would know than i could ever show_**

**_and i love you i'll always love you theres nothing i wont do to say these words_**

**_to you that your beautiful foever_**

**_Always, Always and Forever_**

**_You were my mom you were my dad_**

**_the only think i ever had was you its true_**

**_even when the times got hard_**

**_you were there to let us know_**

**_that we'd get through_**

**_You showed my how to be a man_**

**_you taught me how to understand_**

**_the things that people do_**

**_You showed me how to love my God_**

**_you taught me that not everyone_**

**_knows the truth_**

**_i said i thank you i'll always thank you,_**

**_more than you would know than i could ever show_**

**_and i love you i'll always love you theres nothing i wont do to say these words_**

**_to you that you will live forever_**

Eli swiped away at a single tear that had escaped somewhere during the song- he rolled back onto his stomach, and stared at his ceiling again- expecting something miraculous to have changed.

As though it would no longer be white, and blank……………

ELI something's just never change………something's are meant to stay the same forever……….like some relationships can never change………they can never be………more

* * *

"Naomi has such a beautiful house………." Grace said, marvelling at the two storey, white weatherboard as she dangled her feet in the warm pool in Naomi's back garden.

"It wont be so nice tomorrow morning………" Ayden replied; Grace turned to him and they both shared a hushed laugh.

Ayden turned back to the house, but Grace continued to stare at him- at his profile.

They'd been dancing for 2 hours now, and decided their feet needed a rest.

Nobody was supposed to go in the back yard, and especially not in the pool- but Naomi allowed Ayden and Grace to do so- because they were 'special guests'-atleast, that's what she thought Naomi called her; Grace really couldn't tell through the beer breath and slurred, clumsy words.

"It is so gorgeous out here" Grace commented, breaking away from her gaze- she turned her head slightly, and looked out at the rest of the garden- small cherry trees lined around the edge, luscious green lawn, daises and roses in the garden bed………and small fairy lights lining the trees- and, the pool, with terracotta tiling around the edge, and two large lights in the sides.

"Yeah- it's nice to get away from the craziness for a little while………" Ayden agreed, turning to Grace.

They shared another long gaze- before leaning in for an intimate, hot kiss.

Grace brushed her hand lightly against his cheek; his lips felt soft and tasted sweet.

They pulled away, but their heads remained close, as they spoke.

"I love looking into you're eyes……….." Ayden whispered

Grace let out a small laugh; he sometimes spoke so earnestly

"I'm sorry…….." Ayden said, embarrassed, he turned away from her smile.

"What for? ……….That was really sweet………." Grace replied.

"No……..it was corny……….. I just sometimes let things slip………" Ayden apologised again.

Grace placed her hand softly on his shoulder, "never apologise for something that beautiful again, ok?" she asked, earnestly, the smile now gone from her lips.

Ayden nodded slowly, but didn't turn back to her- Grace cupped his head with one of her hands, softly brushing his cheek with her thumb, coaxing him to look at her- he finally did.

Grace stared deeply into his eyes- so dark, and full of mystery- she could lose herself in their mystery………..Ayden smiled, and felt his cheeks turn red as Grace peered deeply into his eyes……..he wanted to turn away, but couldn't.

"I think I'm falling in love with you…………."

* * *

**_AUTHORS NOTE_**

oooooooooooooo…………. I wonder who said the 3 words? Ayden? Or Grace?

Ok, I know I am a bad, bad, bad person!

But seriously, I have had SO MUCH homework lately……….and I've had busy weekends with friends and………. I know they aren't any sort of excuses……….but I am so sorry!

You have all been so nice with your comments, and here I am slacking off big time!

Well, I cant promise that the slacking will stop- cause I have 2 weeks till school holidays, and I will probably get bombarded with last minute tests and essays!

But I will TRY to hard………so, so hard!

But c'mon- this was a damn long chapter………right?

Song Grace was listening to was Good Charlotte's 'always and forevr'

Awesome band with two HOT twin brothers, and one of the sweetest bestest songs ever!


	35. Chapter 35

"What?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you……….."

"Oh……….that's what I thought you said………"

"I shouldn't have said it?"

"No………no! I'm glad you said it!"

"I scared you?"

"No…….."

"You don't feel the same way?……..oh god………."

"No! That's not it either!"

"What is it then?"

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Eli turned around quickly, and stared at Zoe as she crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly.

"What?" he asked, covering his shocked expression with a hard stare?

"What are you doing in Grace's room?" Zoe asked again, still staring awkwardly at Eli from the doorway.

Eli stuffed his shaking hands into his pockets, glad that he hadn't turned on any lights, so Zoe couldn't see his guilty and tear stained eyes.

"Looking for something," He said, slowly and cautiously- he waited, eyes winced slightly- as he readied himself for Zoe' to scream out Lily's name.

But, Zoe didn't rat on him- instead, a smile spread across her face, and she stepped inside her sister's darkened room aswell, closing the door slightly, and cutting off all light from the hallway, she flicked on a small lamp.

Eli turned away from her, shielding his face;

"I'll help you look………what is it you want?" Zoe asked, standing beside Eli, by Grace's desk.

"Err……….an address book……….." Eli replied, bewildered by Zoe's eagerness to help him raid her sister's room.

"OH! I know where that is!" Zoe said proudly, and spun around- walking towards Grace's bedside table.

Zoe bent down, and began rifling through the single draw- until finally pulling out a small red book.

She turned around, and held it up for Eli.

He stepped forward, unsure, he stared down at the book for a moment- then took it greedily.

"Thanks" he murmured.

"Its ok……….just don't tell Grace I did this………ok?" Zoe asked, innocently.

"OK" Eli agreed, not really focussing on her babbles as he skimmed through the pages, looking for Naomi's name.

"You want her diary aswell?" Zoe asked.

Eli looked up, his brow creased; "no!" he said, a little stubbornly.

Zoe huffed, "suit yourself!" she said, matter of factly.

She rose back onto her feet, and walked back to Grace's dresser, and began examining her makeup, while Eli tentatively took a seat at the end of Grace's bed, unable to find Naomi's name.

Zoe sprayed some vanilla perfume on her wrists, the smell wafting over towards Eli.

"That's nice…….." he murmured, his head still bent inside the red book.

"Chanel smells much nicer………. I think Grace should buy more expensive perfume………" Zoe commented, as she twisted open Grace's baby pink lipstick, and smudged some on her hand.

Eli payed no attention, only continued to search for the name.

He winced as he saw Ayden's- and simply flipped past it.

Zoe glided over towards Grace's wardrobe, and quietly opened it, running had hands along the soft garments that were hanging.

"Grace should buy nicer clothes aswell………." Zoe commented, to no one in particular.

"Grace's clothes are fine" Eli murmured, wishing his accomplice in crime would disappear.

"Well she has a boyfriend now……..she should start dressing nice for him………mum is always telling Grace to buy pretty dresses and skirts……….but Grace only ever wears jeans and sweaters……..she's so plain!" Zoe sighed, as she pulled out a purple jumper.

Eli looked up, and smiled slightly, as he remembered an embarrassing moment, that happened not so long ago- when he'd caught Grace wearing nothing but her white lace bra, and that same purple jumper on the floor, and a green one in her hands.

"She's far from plain, Zoe" Eli mumbled.

Zoe turned and looked at him, but he quickly lowered his head- and scanned the page he was on, instantly spotting Naomi Fawkner's name- address and……….phone number!

* * *

"Well?"

GRACE ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies……..

"Grace?" Ayden asked again; suddenly wishing she would look lovingly into his eyes again.

She finally did, but hers were no longer dancing with happiness- but now, had tears lightly flowing.

"Grace!" Ayden said quietly, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face.

She sighed, and felt more tears fall- she brought her hand to her mouth, trying to silence the whimpers.

"What's wrong?" Ayden asked.

Grace looked into his eyes, suddenly feeling tired and hideous- she slowly lowered her body onto his, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

GRACE (swiping tears from her eyes, turns and looks into the camera) What's better? A lie that brings a smile……..or the truth that draws a tear?

"Talk to me………is it because I said…….." Ayden started, but Grace didn't let him finish.

"No, no!" she said, shaking her head slowly.

"Then what?" Ayden asked, as he cradled Grace's shivering body.

She looked up, her head pressed against his chest; she looked into his eyes, and opened her mouth………….

* * *

Eli covered his ear with one hand, while the other strained to listen into the phone.

"N-A-O-M-I!……….is this N-A-O-M-I'S house?" he yelled.

"Err……….Naomi? no……..this is Naomi's house………. I mean……….YES! yes, this is Naomi's house!" the slurring man at the other end spoke.

"Can I speak to her?" Eli shouted

"How? By fax?" the other end was clouded with wolf whistles and cheers- making it impossible for Eli to hear.

He pulled the phone away, and mouthed the words 'fax', with a quizzical expression- then brought the phone back to his ear.

"No- put her on the phone!" he yelled

"Ohhhhhh………okey!"

Eli heard the phone drop to the ground, with an echoing thump, and then more yells and laughter leaked through his end.

He waited for two minutes- listening to the drunken yells and clumsy laughter- before finally giving up, he ended the call.

He pulled out the red book from his pocket and examined the address- it would only take half an hour or so to get there………..but it was already 9:00, and Grace would be home soon………….was it worth while going down there, just to pour his heart out all over again? And possibly get it trampled on……..all over again?

ELI when your already at the bottom……..there's only one place to go………right?

Eli collapsed onto his bed, still clutching the open book in his hand-

What would he accomplish from going over there?

He'd fine Grace………..with Ayden………..tell her all the things he'd said before, in the hope that she would………see the light?

Eli sighed, as he stared hard at the blank ceiling

So………Eli's big gallant act of love was to go to this party Grace was at with her boyfriend…….the guy she apparently 'loved'……….embarrass the hell out of her……….cause god knows getting hit on by you're STEP brother is a little odd………..and what?

ELI ok………maybe I should just stay where I am for a little while……….at the bottom.

Eli released his grip, and let the book slip- hearing the soft thud as it hit the ground.

He brought his hands to his head, covering his face as he let out a muffled yell.

* * *

Ayden looked down at Grace, her eyes glazed over with tears, her lips quivering………….a small breath escaped her mouth………..but no words seemed to form.

"I……..I………" she stammered, as she looked up into Ayden's deep questioning eyes.

She squirmed in his arms, and broke away from his hold- she turned her body to him, pulling her feet out of the water.

"I love you too," she whimpered.

GRACE the lie that brings a smile………..

Ayden continued to stare at Grace quizzically, as her eyes widened; waiting for him to speak; "You don't have to say it back……….it's ok if you don't mean it………" he finally whispered.

"I do………I know we haven't been together that long……….but I really do love you……….or atleast I'm falling in love with you………. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else right now………any but you!" she finally breathed, a single tear managed to escape her eye.

Ayden's lips tugged into a small smile, and he leaned forward, his lips lightly touching Grace's- he brushed his strong hand lightly against her cheek, catching the stray tear in his finger- he kissed her delicately and lovingly.

When they pulled away, Grace managed a weak smile-

"So………here we are………." She whimpered, and a small laugh escaped.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else………"Ayden replied.

Grace's head turned sightly, taking in the small twinkle lights in the trees, and the full moon cascading soft light onto their bodies- she turned back to Ayden, and lowered her body onto his again- wrapping her arms around his waist.

"With you………." She repeated.


	36. Chapter 36

"Grace!"

Grace turned around, only managing a weak smile as Naomi stumbled towards her- holding a bottle of vodka.

When she finally approached Grace, having to cling onto her with an hand, to steady herself- she spoke slurred and close to Grace's face- the stench of her breath impossible to escape.

"Did you have a good time?" Naomi asked, sweetly.

Grace nodded, and turned away from her breath- "Yes………thanks for inviting me!" Grace replied, in a small voice.

"That's k!" Naomi said quickly.

Grace turned to her, that white shining smile vanished now, only smudged lipstick across her mouth.

And her platinum blonde hair was frizzy, hanging limply around her shoulders- her outfit, usually impeccable and stylish, was a less than discreet mini skirt, and purple tank top.

"Good………good" Naomi slurred, taking another swig of vodka.

"Hmm……….Ayden and I are leaving now……..he's just getting our coats" Grace explained, hoping Naomi would leave her now.

"Oh cool………..James is looking for a room…………." She added, wiping the excess vodka from her lips.

Grace's eyes widened, she didn't really want to know why James was looking for a room………..though she could guess.

"Look……….you two are so cute………" Naomi trailed off, as she took another swig of the vodka.

"Wanna some?" she swung it infront of Grace's face; Grace pushed it away, "Maybe later………." She said.

"But you're leaving! You can't leave!" Naomi whined.

Grace stared at the bottle, dangling in Naomi's claws; she hadn't ever had vodka before, and was curious to know what it tasted like………she was even more curious to see if it would make her forget………..about the lie of all lie's that had escaped her lips……….

Without saying anything, she took it from Naomi's hands, and brought it to her lips- it tasted hot, and almost stale in her mouth.

"Yay" Naomi smiled……….and looked past Grace………at a group of girls; she instantly shot upright, and ran over to them, completely forgetting about Grace and the vodka.

Grace looked down at the bottle in her hands, closing her eyes……..she brought it to her mouth for a second time………hating the taste even more.

She had four swigs by the time Ayden got back, and managed to flog the bottle off to someone else before he saw it.

"Ready?" he smiled, handing her the black coat

She smiled weakly, and they headed for the front door………….

* * *

"Oh………hello honey……. How was the gathering?" Lily beamed from the top of the staircase.

Grace looked up, a little dazed; she squinted to see her mother's face, and eventually smiled.

"Fine………it was fine," she said, quietly.

Lily nodded, unable to make out Grace's face as she stood in darkness- "do you want something to eat?……….I can make something up now………" Lily started to climb down the stairs, tightening the strap of her dressing gown.

"No……….Ayden and I already ate somewhere………." Grace replied hastily; Lily stopped waking, and continued to look down at Grace, still, unable to see her face.

"Oh, ok then………well………thankyou for coming home on time………." Lily began, "curfew wasn't that bad, was it?" she asked.

"No" Grace replied weakly, her mother failed to notice that she was home 15 minutes early.

"Hmm………well then I'm off to bed………goodnight sweety……..don't be up much longer" Lily walked back up the stairs, and when Grace heard her bedroom door close, let out a long and heavy sigh that had been weighing on her since she first got in the car with Ayden……….

She fumbled around with her hands, and eventually dropped her clinking keys on the wooden table by the door, and peeled off her black jacket, draping it over what she guessed was the banister.

She ran a hand through her still curled hair, as she walked into the kitchen, where she turned on a single light.

She shuffled over to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of water, sipping it lightly, she put it back.

Sighing again, she put her hands on her hips as she examined the kitchen- she looked towards the door that led into the hallway, and, eventually walked towards it………….

* * *

Eli pulled the covers over his head, and rolled onto his stomach, but still, the light tapping continued.

He murmured something, and then rolled onto his back, eyes wide open now, he flung the blankets off his body; "what?" he asked hoarsely.

There came no reply, only a crack of light and a silhouette body in his doorway, Eli sat up slightly as the figure bustled into his room, and closed the door behind them.

"What………."? He whispered again, already knowing who it was- the vanilla scene preceded her.

"What?" he asked again, in an aggressive whisper.

"I told him!"

"What?" Eli asked, sitting up straight in his bed, he leaned over the side and fumbled around for the light jumper he'd throw on the ground earlier- grabbing it, he pulled it over his head, and then turned back to the figure.

Her face was lit only by the light that dwindled through his window from the full moon- he stared up at her, as she stood, so close to him.

He opened his mouth, about to say something, when he heard a small whimper and sniff- he reached over brushing his hand lightly against her hip as he fumbled, and eventually flicked on the lamp by his bed.

She took a small step back- but Eli had already seen her face.

Thin black lines of running massacre drawn down her cheeks, her bottom lip quivered slightly- and her eyes, big and innocent, darted away from his own- avoiding their questioning gaze.

"What?" he asked again, a lighter tone this time.

"I told him!" she spat back in a hoarse whisper, she turned to him, swiping at the tears that had already fallen, and now ran, black, down her cheeks.

Eli continued to stare up at her, knowing what she meant; "told who what?" he asked, his brow creased slightly as he spat the question at her tear filled eyes.

"Ayden!" she replied, "I told him that I love……… him because I do!" she said, matter of factly- she swiped again at the tears.

Eli pursed his lips, and looked away from her, only for a moment, to collect his racing thoughts.

"Did you hear me?" she hissed- she didn't even think, as she flung herself onto Eli's body, arms first- her hands locked into fists, she managed to hit him once, but he was too quick.

He turned back to her, grabbing onto her strong arms and holding them back- but her body still fell onto his.

She quickly scrambled back onto her feet, staring down at him with a cold hatred.

"Jesus Grace………have you been drinking?" Eli asked, the smell lingering.

Grace said nothing, only continued to stare down at him with a stony glare- when she remained silent, he reached for her arm, tugging her a little roughly, he pulled her towards him, and he took a whiff of her mouth.

"That's just great!" he muttered, as he released his grip, she pulled away from him.

"Did you hear me or not?" she asked slowly, through clenched teeth.

Eli looked back up at her; only Grace could be a bastard of a drunk!

"Yes" he hissed……….."I heard you!"

"I love him Eli!" she said, still, through pursed lips.

Eli's eyes narrowed, "no you don't!" he replied.

Grace's eyes saw red, and she flung her arms at him again, but he caught them- pushing her back- "I hate you" she said, still in a rough whisper.

"No you don't" Eli said again, only making Grace more mad.

Eli rose from his bed, and stood so close to her, he could smell the stench on her breath.

"You don't know who you love……….but it's sure as hell not him!" Eli said, looking down at her, reflecting the same cold stare she was shooting him.

She opened her mouth, but he continued; "you came down here to tell me that……..just to make me jealous………but it didn't work………because I know you too well, and I can see straight through you!" Eli said, though clenched teeth.

"No you don't! NO you don't!" Grace replied, shaking her head.

Eli stopped her, by grabbing her shoulders, and forcing her eyes to focus on his.

"I do know you Grace……..better than you think!" Eli said, icily

Grace said nothing, only continued to stare into his eyes.

"You don't know anything………." She finally spoke.

Eli released his grip, but continued to stare at her, stare so deeply into her eyes……..like he knew something she didn't.

"This isn't you! I know that much………" he finally said.

"What………?" Grace asked, in a far off whisper.

**_if i could capture time in my hands,_**

**_if i could halt the hourglass sands,_**

**_i would put an end to all but laughter_**

**_a smile on your face forever after._**

Eli reached his hand out, but Grace flinched- he stared into her eyes for a moment longer, until he finally reached out and brushed her lips with his fingers.

_**He brushed them a little harder; all the time their eyes locked.**_

_**if i could catch the feather blown by the breeze,**_

_**if i could heal the wound that starts to bleed,**_

_**i'd give a hand to the man under newspaper,**_

_**do all i can have a word to my maker.**_

He pulled his hand away, and turned his fingers to her, showing her red lipstick smudged across them.

_**but first i'd**_

_**freeze frame this moment with you**_

_**and make it last**_

_**you know i'd**_

_**freeze frame this moment with you**_

_**so please slow down, down go so fast.**_

He reached out again, this time; Grace's eyes followed his shaking hand, as he twisted a piece of hair between his fingers, releasing the curl.

_**if i could stop the water from the sky**_

_**if i could hold back the morning tide**_

_**i'd shout out to the world on a loud speaker**_

_**the message of love is what i would teach you**_

"And this………." He said, his hand light brushing away the remnants of black tears.

_**sounds coming from the underground**_

_**hearts leaving town i'd show**_

_**that i'd come running for you**_

"You don't wear makeup……….you don't have curly hair………and, the Grace I know, doesn't cry………." He finally spoke, in the softest whisper.

**_if i could capture time in my hands_**

**_if i could halt the hourglass sands_**

**_i'd put an end to all but laughter_**

**_a smile on your face is all i'm after_**

Grace only half heard, him, as her eyes focussed back on his;

_**if i could you know i would.**_

And his finger still poised against her cheek.

"Why don't I cry?" she asked, slowly.

Eli gave the smallest smile, "because………your too stubborn" he said, softly.

Grace's lip quivered again, as she stared into his light green eyes, those eyes that apparently knew her so well……….

"I do cry………" Grace finally spoke softly.

GRACE ………..over you

They continued to stare, until finally, Grace's hand rose to her face, and cupped Eli's that was still resting against her cheek.

She slowly pulled it from her face, and brought it to her lips, kissing it lightly.

Finally, she released his hand, and turned to leave- "sorry to wake you…….." she said over her shoulder as she closed the door……..

ELI every which way………….

Eli was left, in his boxer shorts and light jumper, his hand still limp by his side and warm from her lips………..

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

If you'll notice, there were some lyrical sentences with the at the start and end of them; I wanted some background music; and that song was Charlton Hill's 'if I could'

Aren't I getting better with updating?

I have to apologise for this chapter…….. I watched gone with the wind last night and was in that Scarlet & Rhedd mood………


	37. Chapter 37

"How was the party?"

Grace sluggishly turned around, and gave a weak nod to Jessie, who took a place behind Grace in line for the bathroom.

"Fine" Grace replied, and turned back to the closed door.

"Zoe! Hurry up!" She yelled, and banged once.

"The door to you're bathroom still stuck?" Jessie asked, as she tightened the strap of her nightgown.

Grace nodded heavily, and turned around to face Jessie- surprised to see a glowing smile spread across her face.

"And your happy because………..?" Grace asked, sarcastically.

"No reason" Jessie beamed, as she flicked her hair to one side.

JESSIE some days are just so…………..(hugging herself tightly)……….great!

"Hmmmm" Grace murmured, and turned back to face the closed door.

"What's the supposed to mean?" Jessie asked, a light tone masking the true annoyance of her question.

"Oh, nothing" Grace replied simply over her shoulder.

Jessie nodded, and looked past Grace at the closed bathroom door; she could hear only a whisper of singing from inside.

"It's just………." Grace slung the words easily at Jessie, making her want to know more.

"Just what?" Jessie asked, exhausted.

Grace turned around again, one of her eye brows raised- "You and Katie…….." she allowed her sentence to linger annoyingly.

"Me and Katie what………?" Jessie asked, raising her eyebrow aswell.

"You guys are……..dating……….and have been for quite some time………" Grace spoke pointedly and cautiously, allowing the question to loiter yet again.

Jessie could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, and nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear; she knew that Grace was aware of her and Katie's relationship……..in some ways, Grace knew even before Jessie that she had feelings for Katie………..but they had never really been specific about what Grace did and didn't know.

"Yes……." Jessie averted her eyes as she whispered her answer.

"Hmmm………well……….you haven't told Karen and Rick yet, have you?………only I know?" Grace asked, also averting her eyes from Jessie, feeling the tension she'd caused.

"Yes………" Jessie whispered again, ashamed this time.

"Well Jess……….it's just that……..since you two started……..err……….'this'………..you've been so happy, she makes you happy………..so why wouldn't you want the whole world to know?" Grace spoke softly, aware that Zoe was in the bathroom.

Jessie looked up, and stared at Grace's face, turned from her- "I………. I don't know……….I'm just scared I guess…………." She uttered.

Grace opened her mouth, about to ask another question that would know doubt add to the tension- when the door flung open, and steam poured out of the bathroom, tingling Grace and Jessie's faces.

"All yours!" Zoe proclaimed, as she walked out, a towel wrapped around her head like a beehive.

Grace and Jessie shared a quick glance, before Grace turned and walked into the bathroom- closing the door softly behind her.

JESSIE (slowly releasing her hug) Hmmm………maybe……not too great.

* * *

"Rick, could you PLEASE fix our bathroom door?" Zoe whined, as she took her seat at the kitchen table, and poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Err……….sure Zoe…….." Rick murmured, his head ducked behind the newspaper.

Eli glanced between Zoe and his father, noting the cold stare Zoe was shooting at him- he guessed she didn't like to be rushed by Grace and Jessie while she was in the middle of grooming herself.

"Ya know what Zo? I'll fix it……….today………." Eli announced, as he stuck a piece of toast in his mouth.

Rick ruffled his paper, and lowered it, to stare at his son, bewildered; "you sure?" Rick asked, raising an eyebrow.

Eli nodded, and chomped on his toast- "sure……… I have nothing else on today………and I owe Zoe…………." Eli trailed off, but before Rick could ask exactly why Eli 'owed' Zoe anything, Lily came bustling into the kitchen with a handful of laundry.

"You'll need to go down to the store and buy some grease………to loosen the hinges or else you'll never get in there………." Rick mumbled, as he lifted his newspaper back up.

"Can Eli borrow you're car today Lil? I'm fixing the engine up on mine" Rick murmured again.

Lily turned to Eli, a sympathetic glance heading his way- "Sorry E, I wrote the car off to Grace today……….she needs to go down to the mall to buy one of her friends a birthday present………or something" Lily sighed, and turned, about to leave.

"That's ok!" Eli snapped, sitting up right "We'll double up……….two birds with one stone kinda thing………." Eli smiled, and Lily nodded; "If it's ok with Grace…….." she said, and left the kitchen.

ELI some days are just …………… great!

* * *

GRACE some day are just………..less than great!

"Sooooo……….who you buying for?" Eli asked, after 20 minutes of silence in the car- thinking of an appropriate conversation starter.

Grace glanced over at him, but then quickly averted her eyes back onto the road- tightening her grip on the steering wheel, and straightening her back.

"What?" she asked, in a tight voice.

"Which one of you're friends is having a birthday?" Eli asked again.

"Oh………err……….Ahsleigh" Grace replied, annoyed.

Eli nodded as he looked out the window; it seemed that conversation had died all too quickly……….he wished Grace wasn't such a cautious driver………he was actually surprised that she could drive this morning, after the smell of vodka on her breath last night………trust Grace to not get hang-overs.

Eli glanced back over at Grace's tense, stiff body- knowing he wouldn't be having a deep and meaningful with her on the way to the mall, he leaned forward and turned on the radio.

**_If you're listening_**

**_Sing it back_**

**_String from your tether unwinds_**

**_Up and outward_**

**_(But only)_**

**_To bind_**

**_I was spinning free_**

**_With a little sweet_**

**_And simple numbing me_**

**_Are you listening?_**

**_Sing it back_**

Grace's eyes winced closed as the song poured out- louder and heavier than usual; eventually, she couldn't take it any more, and reached out- slamming her hand against the 'off' button on the radio, she sat back casually.

Eli looked over at her; bewildered by her outburst he let out a small laugh.

"I guess you do get hang-overs then………" he murmured.

Grace glared at him quickly, annoyed when his laughter continued; "shut up" she said, through broken giggles.

"My head is killing me and I have a stale taste in my mouth………." She whined, still between subtle giggles.

Eli continued to laugh; "it happens to the best of us,………" he said, kindly, though trying to suppress his laughs.

"Shut up………..be sympathetic…….." Grace pleaded, shooting him a quick smirk.

Eli caught it, and reflected a similar grin; "Sorry sweetness………." He said, still laughing.

They both shared a quick, but definite smile as Grace continued to drive along the freeway, her head……….and her heart………..in agony.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**  
Song was Jimmy Eat World's 'sweetness'. 


	38. Chapter 38

"I thought you needed to buy grease?" Grace raised an eyebrow, as she picked up a baby blue top and examined it- Eli let out a quick yawn, and quickly closed his mouth when Grace noted his boredom.

"Oh………well……….I have plenty of time to do that……….besides, I'm fine just hanging with you" Eli smiled, and dug his hands deeper into his pockets.

Grace shot him a side ways glance, and replaced the top on the hanger- moving on to another isle of clothing- Eli followed close behind.

"Do you want to………you know………….talk about it?" Grace asked softly, as she ran her hands lightly over a cheese cloth dress- she turned to Eli, who's glazed over eyes were now widened.

"Err……….you actually want to talk about……..us?" He asked, staring at her, bewildered.

Grace's small smile vanished, to where, Eli didn't know.

"There is no 'us'………. I meant………we have been a little weird these past few weeks………so if you want to talk about it……..well……… I'm kinda the only person you can talk about it with" Grace sighed, and examined a red shirt, keeping focus on Eli's increasingly surprised expression from the corner of her eye.

He glanced down at his feet, and then looked up at Grace, managing a small smile- "No, I'm fine………actually I might get going, to buy that……..err………."

"Grease?" Grace filled in for him.

"Uhu" Eli nodded, and turned, eyeing the exit of the department store.

Grace brushed her hand over the red top's sleeve, and then turned her head, watching as Eli breezed towards the exit.

She sighed heavily, and hastily replaced the top- briskly walking after Eli, and eventually catching up to him.

He stopped and stared at her, then quickly averted his eyes.

"Lets get a coffee?" Grace asked, lightly, she eyed the exit- and, without waiting, started walking towards the door- Eli eventually followed.

* * *

"Jessie!" Lily called out; and then sipped some of her hot coffee, as she looked over different invitation designs.

"Jessie!" she called again.

Jessie's head poked into the kitchen, the phone attached to her ear- "can I call you back?" Jessie asked Katie, quietly.

Lily turned and smiled at her, motioning with her hand to take a seat beside her.

"Ok? Talk to you soon……….love………" Jessie quickly hung up, and replaced the phone on the wall- cautiously walking over to Lily.

"Was that Tad?" Lily asked, as she scattered the invitations across the kitchen table.

Jessie took a seat, "yep" she said, quietly.

"Ok Jess……….. I have narrowed it down to 7……….choose one" Lily looked up and smiled.

JESSIE if I could say all the things I want to say?

Jessie unthinkingly pointed at a blue coloured piece of paper- "that one" she whispered.

JESSIE I'd tell Lily that I don't want a party……….I'd tell mum that she needs to smile more often………….I'd tell my brother that I'm proud of him, no matter what………..

"That one? Really?" Lily asked, examining it.

JESSIE I'd thank my dad for always being there…………. I'd tell Grace that I'm glad to have her as a sister……….I'd tell Zoe I think she's going to be something great when she's older……….

"What about this one?" Lily picked up a green card, and showed it to Jessie, who stared, with glazed eyes.

JESSIE I'd tell Lily that I want the blue invitations……….

"Ok, that one will do" Jessie murmured;

"Good, good!" Lily smiled, and began to pack up the rest of the invitations, as Jessie rose from her seat.

JESSIE and I'd tell Katie, my family………..the rest of the world………how much I love her………...with all my heart.

* * *

"Who said it first?" Eli asked, as he watched Grace lower her cup onto the table.

She waited for a moment; "I did" she spoke softly.

Eli nodded slowly; "does he know you didn't mean it?" he asked, without looking her in the eye.

Grace sighed heavily, and looked away.

"Do you know that you didn't mean it?" Eli spoke again- lifting his head, at the same time as Grace turned to him- they stared at one another for a moment.

"I meant it," she finally uttered.

ELI people have these shields………

Eli turned away, and fidgeted in his seat. Grace watched him, becoming increasingly tensed.

"Can we not talk about me and Ayden………?" She finally spoke.

ELI and once in a while………hard as it is for them……….they lower their shields, and let people in………….let people really see them……..

"Fine………..lets talk about the 'non' us"

Grace eyed him, a soft, sympathetic stare; "Ok………. I guess I'll start………" she spoke cautiously.

"I have this idea, about why your wanting to start something with me……"

"You do?" Eli interrupted.

"Yes………. I think it's because……….Carla was the last girl you loved, and you haven't seen her for 9 months now………and she really broke you're heart…………" Grace spoke softly after mentioning Carla's name.

ELI and when they let their shield down, and you get a glimpse of who they really are…….

Grace shifted forward in her seat slightly, catching Eli's gaze; "I think you just want someone to love again……….and the closest someone is me………living with you and all……….and, granted, I know in the past we had 'moments'……….but Eli………. I cant, and I don't want to be that someone"

ELI seeing them, truly and deeply………can have two outcomes……….

"That's not it at all………." Eli continued to stare into her russet eyes.

"I have never once thought about Carla since I realized my feelings for you…….. you aren't a 'replacement' for her………." Eli said.

"Maybe because………..nobody can replace her?" Grace questioned, quickly.

ELI you either see their true colours and instantly know that it was never meant to be, or………..

"That's not it Grace………." Eli continued "I don't know what exactly I'm feeling………or why I'm feeling it………….all I know is, one day I looked at you and I didn't see the Grace Manning I'd know for the last 2 and a half years………. Instead, I saw this beautiful girl, who had somehow grown into this completely amazing breath taking woman………."

Grace could feel her cheeks burning, as Eli sat across from her, staring deeply into her welling eyes………and with every word……….she felt herself falling deeper and deeper in love with him………

" ………I looked at you, and I didn't see this sweet, sincere step sister that I'd always respected………. I mean……….your still sweet, sincere and I do still respect you……….but now when I look at you………all I can think about is how completely great you are……..and how much I want to kiss you and tell you all the things I'm telling you right now…….." Eli took a small breath, and searched Grace's eyes for some meaning; something that could tell him what he was saying meant something to her……….he couldn't see anything………so he continued.

"………..And I know it really sucks that I realized all these feeling for you at the worst time……….just as you found someone who makes you feel all these things when you look at them………. I can only imagine how completely annoying and terrible that is………..but the thing is………. I would have kept these new found feelings all bottled up, for the sake of our family and brother/sister thing………..but then I kissed you………..and I realized, when I pulled away………that you were the person I was meant to be kissing……….that these feelings could possibly build up to something……..between you and me……and while I was kissing you………I had this feeling that you felt the same way"

GRACE or………you can see their true colours………and fall in love with them all over again. (Turns her head away from camera……..)

ELI (head is turned away from camera, then faces camera)……..exactly………..

"Please say something," Eli breathed.

Grace stared at him for the longest time; his words still settling around her, she breathed them in, and felt her eyes sting.

"I have a confession to make………" she spoke softly.

"I loved you………..for the longest time……….during high school………and even after our parents started dating……….even when you and Carla were together……….I loved you………" Grace spoke so softly; Eli had to creep forward to hear her.

"And when you kissed me that day…….. I thought 'this is what I've always wanted……….'………..because it was……….. I had always had this crush on you……….." a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Eli smiled softly, the words sinking into his body.

Grace turned away, "But your right……….you're timing sucks………because I don't feel that anymore………. I have found someone, who I am falling for in the best possible way……and he's making me forget about how I felt for you……..and how we could never be" She turned back to him, but looked down, avoiding his eyes.

"When I loved you……..you didn't see me……….you didn't see this girl who could love you completely and totally………and now………for some reason……….you think you know who I am……..and you love me all of a sudden………and I'm sorry to tell you, now it's my turn to not return that love!"

She rose from her seat, "I'll meet you at the car in half an hour" she said quietly, and walked away.

ELI then that shield goes back up………and your left wondering………'did I really just see them'?


	39. Chapter 39

**AUTHORS NOTE **first song in this fic is Lisa Loeb's 'How'- an amazing song, and one of my absolute favourites! It's not playing on the radio or anything- simply think of it as 'background' music!

* * *

**_I didn't come this far for you to make this hard for me.  
And now you want to ask me 'how?'  
It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?  
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?_**

A thick stillness loomed in the car- an uncomfortable, unbearable and eerie silence that went on forever.

GRACE (looks into camera, then turns head to side)

_**Why did you come here?  
You weren't invited.  
And you're on the outside - stay on the outside.  
And now you want to ask me 'why?'  
It's like - why does your heartbeat, and how do you cry?  
How does your heart beat?**_

Eli glanced over at Grace- her back perfectly straight, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, eyes firmly ahead.

He examined her profile for a moment; and then stared out the window.

A heavy rain had started to pour when they got in the car- and now the wind screen wipers made a rhythmic, back and fourth motion- echoing their dreary, squelching sound into the deathly silent car.

_**And there are some things that I'd like to figure out.  
There are some things that I can do without -  
like you and your letters that go on forever,  
and you, and the people that were never friends.**_

ELI (looking into camera; opens mouth, then closes it and sighs; eventually turning away)

**_With all the things that you could be,  
you never could learn how to be me.  
And now you want to ask me 'how?'  
It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?  
How does you heart beat, and why do you breath?_**

Their house finally came into view- and as Grace parked in the driveway; the silence seemed to tug away, and eventually un-knotted itself, as Eli opened his mouth, without turning to Grace- he knew he didn't have to ask her to listen- he knew she was waiting for the words………whatever they were.

And he was right, she somehow knew he would say something to her- something that would make her change her mind all over again………something that would trick her heart into believing there was still 'something' she had to hold onto……….something that she couldn't possibly let go of……….even if she tried.

Eli took a quick breath, and tucked his hands into the pocket of his coat- all the time; Grace remained perfectly still- looking out ahead of her.

"I see you now" He murmured, in a calm, deep voice.

He still didn't turn to her- didn't even see if her face changed with his words.

And after a second or two, Eli opened the car door- and left Grace alone, his words lingering amongst the still.

"I know………." She whispered to herself, as her eyes watched his figure dash towards the door- escaping the rain.

"I know…………." She whispered again……….perhaps making sure she believed her own words?

* * *

"Grace………..honey………..?" Lily stood awkwardly beside the change room door- and called again……….."honey……….is it on yet?" she asked again.

Grace stared at herself- she looked like a ripe orange, about to burst.

Her mother had picked out for her; a ginger coloured formal dress- sleeveless, with a long trail- the dress didn't fit her right………not at all!

It bunched up around her chest, only reminding her of what she didn't have, and was too tight around the bodice, reminding her of what she had to lose.

It made her skin appear blotchy and pasty; and was so wide around the hips that she had to keep flicking the excess material behind her.

"Grace!" Lily cried again.

Grace looked at the closed door, and eventually reached out and turned the handle, tentatively stepping out.

"Oh" Lily murmured, as she examined her daughter from head to toe.

Grace turned around, staring at herself in the mirror again.

She looked at her mother's mortified face, which she was trying to cover with a sincere smile.

"You don't have to say it………..I look awful……….like a rotten peach!" Grace moaned.

"No………No……..it's just" Lily adjusted the dress; by pulling the neckline up, and tucking the waist in a bit, then noticed how it pressed against Grace's stomach too tightly; and released the material.

"Maybe a different colour………..style……….." Lily murmured.

"Maybe a completely different dress?" Grace asked, hopeful.

"Maybe…………. I don't have to wear a formal dress at all……….a nice skirt and top could be fine…….."

"No! Grace!" Lily interrupted.

"This is Jessie's special day……and she has REQUESTED everyone come appropriately dressed………in formal outfits!" Lily was firm.

Grace rolled her eyes; "Well……….where is Jessie anyway?" she asked, looking behind her mother, at the waiting room where Jessie and Katie had been a moment ago.

"She has her dress……….so I told her she and Katie could go get lunch!" Lily murmured, as she spun Grace around and began to unzip the back of the dress.

"Mum! I'm starving……….I need food aswell……….cant I just go dress hunting next week?" Grace moaned.

"Next week is Jessie party……….you have to find a dress……….now or never!"

"Fine! Fine!" Grace groaned………she stomped over to the rack of reject dresses she'd tried on earlier, and picked up the mint coloured 2 piece with beaded flowers.

"This one!" Grace held it up for her mother to see.

"Oh good……….I liked that one!" Lily smiled.

Grace handed it to her mother, and hid back in the change room; "that's exactly why I didn't want to choose that one!" she mumbled as she peeled off the dress.

* * *

"So you seem to be handling this whole party thing pretty well now?" Katie smiled warmly, and sipped her cappuccino.

"If by 'well' you mean I have managed to control and suppress my true anger and frustration………then yes……….it's going well" Jessie sighed, and took a sip from her own cup.

Katie's brow creased, as she placed her mug on the table.

"Jessie…………I'm worrying about you………..it's not good to keep all that stuff locked up……….." Katie leaned forward, swiping a loose piece of hair out of Jessie's face.

Jessie instantly drew back; afraid that Lily might see them………..or anybody else that was looking.

Katie pulled away quickly, reminding herself to not show any signs of affection in public.

"It's eating away at you,………" she mumbled, she sipped the last of her cappuccino.

Jessie looked away; guilt ridden.

It wasn't just this whole party thing with Lily……….it was so much more………..so much more that she'd kept locked inside of her for too long now……….she'd kept Katie, and all that she means to her, locked up for too long.

"I know………..I'm sorry," Jessie mumbled, interrupting her chain of thought.

Katie looked away, and spotted Lily and Grace walking towards them.

"I guess we're going home now" Katie mumbled.

Jessie followed her gaze, "uhu" she agreed.

The two girls sat in silence, avoiding each other's gaze- until Lily and Grace approached them and took a seat; interrupting their awkward discomfort with happy chatter about Jessie's party………..

JESSIE all the things I want to say…………..never get said!


	40. Chapter 40

"So you'll come?" Grace smiled sweetly as she looked up into Ayden's averted eyes.

"Err………yeah……….of course" he looked over at Grace, as they walked side by side, his arm slug over her shoulders, heading towards the front lawn of the school for lunch.

"You'll have to wear a tux" Grace added in quickly.

They approached a group of friendly faces, but before sitting down, Ayden turned her body to face his, cupping her head in his hands gently.

"Great………..cause I look damn sexy in a tux!" He smiled slyly.

Grace let out a small laugh, "I'm sure you do………" she said, in a breathy whisper as her lips inched forward……….closer and closer to his……..until finally connecting in a sultry kiss.

"Sit down!"

"Get a room"

"I'm trying to eat"

Grace and Ayden pulled away, and turned to their group of burly friends as they complained about the free love fest they were seeing.

"Alright, Alright!" Ayden smiled; he and Grace sat down on the lawn, beside Ashleigh and Craig; Grace's head propped up against Ayden's shoulder, their hands entwined.

Corny jokes and stories from the party were shared- but the whole time Grace and Ayden remained in their own little world; hands never once releasing, they shared quiet whispers and small laughter; aswell as a few fairy kisses when no one else was looking.

From the outside, they seemed very much in love.

And, as far as Grace knew, Ayden was in love on the inside aswell.

But she wasn't sure if the act she continued to play through; the way she kissed Ayden, smiled at him………she didn't know if all that reflected all her emotions on the inside………where it's supposed to count the most……..where your supposed to feel love through the through.

She didn't know if she felt that.

GRACE I hate not knowing!

* * *

"E-man!"

Eli sighed as he slowly turned around, to find Kevin's face beaming back at him- covered in a stupid, ear-to-ear, grin.

"Yeah………..'kev-man'?" Eli replied in a blunt voice.

Kevin's smiled grew wider, while Eli's completely disappeared.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Eli asked, creasing his brow.

"Nah man………..the new hottie is covering for me!" Kevin replied quickly.

Eli looked past Kevin, at the coffee bar, where Rebecca- the new 'hottie', was in the process of spilling a hot cappuccino on a gentleman's lap- though he didn't seem to mind that she was patting the mess dry for him.

Eli shook his head, and went back to his sweeping; "what is it Kev?" he asked, while still rhythmically sweeping.

Eli half listened as Kevin ruffled around in his pocket, and let out wheezy laughs.

But Eli's attention only tweaked when Kevin shoved a small bag of weed in his face.

Eli almost jumped back when he saw it; and then became increasingly aware of the customers passing them.

He dropped his broom, and tugged on Kevin's collar- pulling him behind a deserted bookshelf; Kevin was still laughing huskily.

"What the hell man?" Eli whispered harshly- he ran his hands through his hair- and turned around to make sure no one was around.

"Chill E………it's just weed" Kevin insisted- calmly, with a hint of laughter bubbling in his voice.

Eli turned back to Kevin, his brow creased; "I'm off the stuff……….have been for months now…….." Eli whispered, harshly.

He shoved the bag away from him, "I want nothing to do with it!" he added.

ELI (looking nervously into camera)

Kevin raised his hands in defence; "Ok dude……….chill!" he said, still in a calm voice, telling Eli that he had probably already tested the product.

Eli sighed, and turned around again, this time, he saw Jake approaching them, not far away.

"Shit! It's Jake!" Eli whispered, turning back to Kevin.

In one swift motion, Kevin placed the weed inside Eli's pocket………Eli didn't put up much of a defence.

"He trusts you……..and wont suspect a thing………." Kevin murmured, while tucking the bag inside Eli's pocket.

"You guys ok?"

Eli spun around, a small smile on his face.

"Fine tanks Jake………." Eli smiled………."I mean, Mr. Manning"

Jake nodded once, and looked Kevin up and down, raising an eyebrow.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Jake asked.

Kevin said nothing for a moment, "The hottie…….."

Eli coughed loudly.

"I mean………Rebecca……….is covering for me!" Kevin murmured, lowering his head.

Jake nodded again, and turned to Eli; "so………everything's ok?" he asked, quietly- aiming the question at Eli.

"Oh yeah………just fine……….we'll be getting back to work now" Eli turned to leave- but felt Jake's hand land on his shoulder, Eli turned slowly.

"I think you should know E……….." Jake began.

ELI this is it………

"………….You've been doing a really good job here lately………." Jake smiled, a small, barely there, smile.

Eli nodded once, and walked away, trying to control his breathing and not pounce on Kevin.

"Yo……..man!" Kevin whispered when they were behind the coffee bar.

"What?" Eli asked, in an icy voice.

"Keep the stuff………..a thankyou present from me to you………for not ratting on me" Kevin winked, and walked over to Rebecca, leaving Eli, shaking his head in disgust.

But he didn't object, and didn't give the small packet in his pocket back!

ELI (looking nervously into the camera) What!


	41. Chapter 41

GRACE I don't know 

"Do you want a lift home?" Ayden whispered in Grace's ear, after approaching her from behind.

He wrapped his arms around her middle, and pressed his lips onto her soft neck.

She smiled warmly, and brushed her hands lightly across his arms that were safely secured around her waist.

"Sorry………….Eli's picking me and Jess up," she pouted, as she loosened his grip and turned to face him.

Wrapping her arms gently around the crook of his neck, she leaned in for a sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, Ayden stared into Grace's eye, a small smile tugging at the very corners of his lips.

GRACE don't say it………

"I love you" Ayden whispered, and leaned in for a quick kiss.

GRACE oh god…….. I cant………I don't………love you.

This time when they pulled apart, Grace followed Ayden's eyes that stared out across the parking lot- she turned, and saw what he was looking at.

Eli, leaning against his car, eyes averted to the ground as he waited for Grace- clearly discomforted by the sight of her and Ayden kissing.

"See you tomorrow" Ayden smiled, and Grace turned back to him- the smile completely vanished from her lips, her eyes were wide and darting, peering into his.

GRACE I love………I love………. I don't love you……….and I don't want to love Eli.

"What?" Ayden asked, completely letting go of Grace's body, he took a small step back.

GRACE I have to.

"Wait a moment" she whispered- she turned away, and started running towards Eli.

Eli looked up, creasing his brow as he watched Grace's hair bounce as she ran towards him- her eyes were deep and brooding, and her lips were pursed.

"What?" Eli asked, when Grace finally approached him.

"I'm going home with Ayden tonight" Grace huffed.

Eli looked down at the ground, 'good', and he thought-

ELI I need time to think anyway………(digs in pocket and pulls out weed)

"Fine" Eli muttered, and turned, opening his car door and sliding in.

"Thanks" Grace said quickly, and ran back to Ayden, hearing Eli's car screech out of the parking lot, Ayden watched Eli leave………perplexed.

"What ………Grace?" Ayden asked, when she approached him.

"Ayden………..there's something………." Grace stared deeply into his eyes, and then averted them to the ground, "can you walk me home? There's something we need to discuss………."

"But I have my dads car………we can drive………" Ayden tried; he could tell that Grace was finally going to talk to him………all those times they were together, and he felt like she wasn't really there……….hopefully, she was going to explain herself.

"No……….this is going to take a while" Grace breathed, looking back into Ayden's eyes.

AYDEN finally

"O………ok" Ayden sighed, and they started walking towards Grace's house.

GRACE I don't know……….he told me he loved me again………and I suddenly didn't want to hear it!

And right then, right as I was thinking 'I'm pretty sure I don't love you back'…………. I turn around and see Eli……….the cause of all these problems!

It was a sign……….and I just knew, it was now or never.

I either told Ayden the truth, or had the truth come and bite me in the butt!


	42. Chapter 42

Grace and Ayden had been walking side by side for 20 minutes now, and Grace hadn't uttered a word……….Ayden simply waited.

GRACE now or never.

"Ayden" Grace stopped walking; Ayden did the same, and turned to her.

"Yes?" He asked, calmly.

Grace looked into his eyes; his dark, mysterious eyes that she loved so much.

"I hate myself………" she uttered, as she stared into his eyes; she didn't mean to say those words, because they made her sound selfish……but it was the truth; she did hate herself.

"Why?" Ayden asked, curiously- they were standing outside a stranger's house, only 10 minutes away from Grace's home.

"Because I lied to you…….." she said, in a whisper.

Ayden looked down at the ground, digging his hands into his pockets.

"About what?" he asked, cautiously.

Grace looked away from his eyes, and stared at her hands; "about a lot of things…….." she said, shakily.

"Be more specific" Ayden asked, still, trying to remain calm.

Grace sighed, and rubbed her forehead with a shaky hand; "about………loving you,………" she whispered, daring herself to look into his eyes.

She couldn't see them, couldn't see how much pain she'd painted across his entire face- because he looked away from her.

"I am so sorry Ayden……….it's just……..you said those beautiful words, and so I thought, if I said them aswell……….it might come true……..that by saying I loved you, I somehow, magically would!" Grace sighed again, a heavy, sad sigh.

"O-K………what else?" Ayden asked, still looking away.

GRACE now

A dim light had fallen in the sky, and streetlights were starting to come on.

GRACE or.

For some reason, Grace had completely detached her mind from her heart- yesterday, telling Ayden the truth was the furthest thing she could think of doing………but then……..hearing those false words again………and seeing Eli.

GRACE never

"There's more to me not loving you…….." she whispered.

Ayden turned to her, their eyes locking in an intense burn.

"What?" he asked, a little firmer now.

Grace turned away………"there's this person……….that I have always had feelings for………feelings that were never returned………until………a few weeks ago"

Ayden stared at Grace's face, as she bit her bottom lip anxiously……..waiting for him to say something.

But he didn't, he just stood there, staring at her, his eyes beginning to sting.

His heart beginning to throb, his head was racing with thoughts that he wanted to push out and never think of.

"Say something" Grace pleaded in a whisper.

Ayden and Grace locked eyes once again, and then, he was gone.

He turned in the other direction and started walking away from Grace.

"Ayden!" She yelled after him- she ran, eventually catching up to him.

"I'm sorry………I am so sorry" she grabbed at his hand, and he stopped walking, surprising her.

He stared, sadly into her eyes, and she felt like crying.

Then, he flicked her hand off his wrist, and walked away.

Leaving silence.


	43. Chapter 43

Grace walked home in a daze, unsure if she had just lived through those 5 minutes with Ayden.

Or if it was all just a hazy dream…….a dream she was still stumbling through…….and desperately wanted to escape.

GRACE I………..I……….I don't know!

Grace's head bowed, staring at the ground, as tears slowly ran down her pale cheeks, she didn't even know she was crying.

Her head was filled with too many thoughts to take any notice of what her emotions were trying to tell her.

Grace suddenly looked up, noticing that she'd come to the end of her street.

She turned around, and saw her house; staring at her- she'd completely walked past it, and was now 5 houses off the mark.

She turned and trudged back, she sniffed, trying to hold back the tears.

And, as she approached her front door, she swiped at the menacing tears, combed her fingers through her tousled hair………and hoped no-body would ask her any questions.

Pushing the front door open, the first thing she realised was that no-body was home.

Mum and Rick would still be at work………Zoe had ballet after school………at most, only Eli and Jessie would be home.

Grace sighed with relief; she could handle any questions that they threw at her; she could lie through her teeth if she had to.

But, as she closed the door behind her, she suddenly lost balance, and reached out, grabbing the door handle.

"Oh God" she whispered harshly, as she took rapid, stabling breaths.

Suddenly, a quick flash of Ayden's hurt face came tumbling into her mind; and she wanted to cry out……….she wanted to scream at herself………she wanted to slap herself for hurting him so much.

And she did scream out……….against her own will……..she screamed……

"ELI!"

She heard two sets of footsteps running towards her.

One came from above her; Jessie, running down the stairs.

And the other came from infront of her………..Eli.

"Eli, what happened?" Jessie's voice faded inside Grace's ears as she started crying again; and her heaving breaths blocked out any other noise.

"I………I don't know!" Eli's eyes were wide and panicked as he raced to Grace, her body doubled over, her hand clutching the door handle.

He peeled off her backpack and threw it to the ground, and placed a hand on her back.

She was heaving tears, and couldn't speak………..but she was in such pain.

"Eli……….what happened?" Jessie practically screamed, looking down at both of them from the staircase.

Eli ignored her; and in one swoop, he secured his arms around Grace's shaking body, and bundled her into a ball in his cradling arms.

"Go back to you're room Jess" Eli whispered harshly to his sister.

Jessie was too panicked to disobey, or argue, so she reluctantly walked back up the stairs.

Eli looked down at Grace's scrunched; tear stained face, pressing against his chest.

Eli had an idea about what had caused these tears………so he slowly walked towards his room, kicking the door open with one foot, he entered, and walked over to his bed, where he slowly placed Grace………who rolled over and cried into his pillow.

* * *

Her tears had stopped long ago- and now she simply lay on his bed, holding his pillow close to her face.

She could hear the soft murmurs coming from the dining room, where her family were having dinner.

The tears earlier had scared her; she didn't know where they had come from.

Or where the sudden rush of pain had emerged……….she didn't know………but for some reason, she had a terrible aching, that she wanted to be rid of.

GRACE I don't know!

The door slowly creaked open; but Grace didn't bother to see who it was, she knew it was him.

"I told dad and Lily that you were sick and sleeping………and I told Jess not to say anything," Eli whispered, as he stood at her bedside, looking down at her small body.

"Thanks" she murmured; the first words she'd uttered in what seemed like decades.

"No problem" Eli murmured; he stared down at her still body for a moment longer; the worry still pressing against his heart……….he'd never been so scared……….at that moment when he saw Grace, double over in pain.

He turned to leave, but Grace allowed more words to escape.

"Don't," she said, in a whisper.

Eli quickly stopped himself, glad for the order.

"You want to………." Eli started, eager to see if she would share her feelings.

But Grace interrupted him, by shifting her body, and sitting upright.

She tucked her legs up, and wrapped her arms around them.

She looked up at Eli…………..his face dark, from the lack of light in the room.

"I told him," she murmured, looking down at the pillow beside her.

Eli almost fell backwards when she spoke, and, not realising it; an entire decade passed before any other words were spoken.

"Eli?" she whispered, looking back at him; at his astounded, perplexed face.

Eli focused back on Grace; looking into her white, drained face.

"You told Ayden about us?" He asked, quietly.

Grace shifted her body, releasing her legs, she pulled Eli's blanket onto her cold body.

"No………saying that my step brother has feelings for me……….sounds like something from Jerry Springer" Grace murmured; trying to lighten the gloomy room.

"I told him………that I didn't love him………." Grace uttered.

Eli felt his heart warm from those words.

"………I just told him……….that there was someone else………" the words didn't taste as bad as Grace thought they would.

Eli couldn't help it; a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"That you love someone else?" he asked, cautiously.

Grace looked away; "No Eli……….just that someone returned feelings that I'd had for them"

Eli's smile still remained; as he stared at Grace's worn, tired face.

She turned to look up at him; and, even in the darkness, both could see how each other's eyes danced.

"Me?" Eli asked, in a small whisper.

"You!" Grace replied, in a light voice………..

Eli nodded once, but never took his eyes off of Grace's.

They remained that way for what seemed like a blissful eternity.

When finally, Eli slowly reached his hand out.

Grace's eyes closed, waiting for his warm touch………as his hand softly and lovingly brushed against her cheek.

"You need to rest," he murmured, as his hand caressed her soft, supple cheek.

Grace murmured in agreement, but still her eyes remained closed, and her head tilted into his warm touch.

"Don't go," she whispered; as her own hand reached up and cupped Eli's.

His entire body tingled as her warm, soft hand cupped his own; their first touch in days.

Grace opened her eyes, and smiled, as she saw how Eli's looked at their connected hands intensely, and how his eyes were wide and excited.

Eli looked into Grace's face, and felt blood rush to his cheeks as she watched his delighted face, with such focus.

ELI I………I…cant

Eli's eyes looked away, and eventually and reluctantly, he also pulled his hand away.

"Grace……….your tired, and upset………. Your not thinking straight" Eli murmured, through clenched teeth.

Grace looked down, at her fallen hand that had been holding Eli's.

"Your right……….I'm sorry…..….it's not fair of me to do this to you……….not when I'm so upset over Ayden" Grace murmured, half heartedly.

"Yeah…….." Eli sighed……….half wishing he'd said nothing, and allowed their hands and eyes to remain engulfed.

Grace shifted her body again, and got out of Eli's bed.

"Thankyou" she whispered, standing infront of him, their body's so close to touching.

She eventually walked past him, and Eli heard his door open and close.

His eyes winced closed, as his mouth curved into the smallest of smiles.


	44. Chapter 44

"……………..Oh Jessie has this gorgeous red dress………..Grace is wearing a lovely mint 2 piece………….we're having white gardenia's…………. " Lily smiled as she watched Judy sort through a new box of books.

"Do gardenia's come in any other colour than white?" Judy asked, looking up at her sister.

Lily shrugged, "well ours our going to be white" she smiled.

Judy went back to sorting through the box, which was filled with the new Nicholas Sparks book, 'guardian'.

"Jessie is just going to love this formal party………." Lily beamed.

LILY when I turned sixteen I really wanted to throw a huge party……….

Judy huffed at Lily's remark, but didn't say anymore………

"What was that for?" Lily snapped, losing her daydream smile.

Judy looked at her sister innocently.

"What?" she asked, in a small voice.

LILY I was going to wear a flowing white gown……….with daisies in my hair………….(laughs)………… I was going to have it at my father's restaurant……….with an elegant dinner, complete with an ice statue……….

"You huffed!" Lily snapped.

"I did not huff!" Judy shook her head and started stacking the books back into the box.

"I heard you huff!" Lily slid off the stool she was sitting on, and took a seat next to her sister on the floor, helping her pile the books away.

"There was no huff………I didn't huff!" Judy said, defensively.

LILY I'd been planning my sweet sixteen since I was……….eight!

The two sisters sat in silence for a few minutes; until Judy couldn't take it anymore.

She flung her hands in the air, and sighed heavily, causing Lily to jump slightly.

"Ok! I huffed!" Judy finally exclaimed.

"Why?"

"Because………" Judy bit her bottom lip, unsure whether to go on.

"Judy……..why?"

JUDY she'd been planning it since she was eight………..she even kept a little white shoe box under her bed with magazine cut outs of the dress she wanted to wear……….

LILY (smiling happily) ………….you know………. I think I even had a little box that I kept all these cut outs of the dresses I wanted in………every month I'd rush out to the news agents and buy the latest copy of 'teen girl' and cut out all the dresses I liked……….. I had completely forgotten about that!

Judy shifted her body, tucking her legs underneath her; she grabbed Lily's hands in her own, and stared into her sister's eyes anxiously.

"Do you think maybe your trying to compensate for the sweet sixteen you never had………….by making Jessie's perfect?" Judy continued to bite her lip.

Lily snatched her hands back, and laughed off Judy's comment.

"What are you talking about?"

LILY (shifting in chair uncomfortably) ……….well, a few months before my birthday………. I begged my parents! I explained to them all the plans I had………and, it took a bit of convincing……….but they eventually came around!

JUDY Lily was on a mission………all we ever heard about 6 months before her birthday was (mimicking Lily) "I want this……….I want that………I must have a flowing gown!"………..It was a nightmare!

"Sweety……..you've got to admit………you didn't have the best sweet sixteen"

Lily looked into Judy's eyes pointedly, "I had a lovely sweet sixteen!" she snapped.

JUDY then the big day finally came around………and Lily had gotten everything she demanded (surprise, surprise!)

"Oh honey………you must STILL be in denial!"

JUDY disaster 101!

"The night before you're party you got you're period……….you freaked out and cried in mums arms until midnight………so the next day you had these huge puffy eyes, that not even make-up could fix!" Judy sighed, and Lily felt blood rush to her cheeks.

"You and I were the only ones that turned up in formal wear……… I mean……….you do remember that horrible yellow flamingo dress mum made me wear? …………. And we looked so stupid……..me as an oversized lemon and you dressed up in that wavy white dress…….while everyone else wore jeans and Jimmy Hendrix tees!" Judy looked off into the distance, cringing as she remember the putrid yellow colour.

"And you're period was so heavy that halfway through the night mum pulled you aside and told you that a 'stain' was showing through you're white dress……!"

More blood rushed to Lily's cheeks.

"OH! And to top it all off………..you caught you're boyfriend…….."

"Chuck Garrett" Lily supplied.

"Yeah………that loser………….you caught him out the back with that big chested bimbo Cindy Sparker!"

"Don't forget………dad didn't cool the ice statue properly and it melted all over my cake" Lily sighed.

Judy reached out and swiped a piece of hair off her sister's face; "I suppose……..it was a fairly nice sweet sixteen!" she sighed.

Lily looked up, determination painted on her face; "that is exactly why Jessie needs to have the perfect sweet sixteen………so she doesn't look back when she's 40 and wish she'd had it better!" Lily exclaimed, and scrambled to her feet.

"Infact………I feel like checking up on the girls dresses……..to see how the alterations are going" Lily stomped towards the door; leaving Judy shaking her head after her.

JUDY disaster!

LILY Jessie's will be much nicer!


	45. Chapter 45

Grace hung her head as she lumbered through the school hallway, she felt as though everyone's eyes were on her………judging her………shaking their heads.

They all knew what she had done………how she'd broken the heart of one of the sweetest, kindest boys in the whole school!

When she finally reached her locker she stuck her head in as far as it would go and rummaged around until the bell went- tying to avoid speaking to anyone, and getting poked and probed about 'the break-up'.

GRACE but……….is this an 'official' break-up………..or is he temporarily angry at me and we're having one of those 'breaks' that you always hear about in movies?

When the hallways seemed quiet enough, Grace pulled her head shamefully out of her locker and closed the door.

She looked at her timetable and cringed as she saw the word 'English'.

Grace sighed as she started walking slowly towards her class; she kept telling herself to breathe………….just breathe.

And as she opened the door, of the still bustling classroom- she caught sight of him.

Sitting in the back far right corner of the room, staring out the window.

His black tousled hair fell down his brow……….and although they were averted away from her, Grace could see his dark, brooding eyes were deep in thought…………something told Grace that they were thinking about her.

She suddenly realized that she'd been standing in the doorway for quite some time now; so she slowly breezed across the room, and took a seat in the back row, to the far left.

From the corner of her eye she could see Ayden hadn't noticed her presence.

She breathed a sigh of relief, and turned away.

"Grace Manning"

She didn't look to the front of the class- instead she turned and looked at Ayden- instantly feeling blood rush to her cheeks when she saw him staring right back at her, a firm face plastered on.

"Miss Manning?" Mr. Simmons called again.

"Here" she squeaked, sinking down into her seat.

When she turned back, Ayden was staring out the window again- refusing to look at her.

"Ayden Clymont?"

"Here sir"

Grace sunk down lower and lower- wishing she could wiggle her nose and turn invisible.

* * *

"Was that algebra test particularly horrendous or was it just me?" Katie smiled as she took a seat beside Jessie on the lawn.

"It's not just you……….I think the entire class got an F!" Jessie sighed as she bit into her apple.

Katie glanced over at her girlfriend, then looked back down at her paper bag, and began rummaging around for her sandwich.

"Is that all your having for lunch?" Katie asked in a light tone, not wanting to sound like Jessie's mother, who Katie knew was always on Jessie's back about food.

JESSIE (small frown)

"Ahh………I don't feel like much else" Jessie replied vaguely.

"So did you hear that Maria and Josh broke up?" Jessie added quickly, before Katie had a chance to say more.

"Err, no………" Katie looked at Jessie, and at the apple in her hand.

"You really should eat something else Jess……..." Katie said, quietly, as she bit into her salad sandwich.

Jessie let out a small groan, and Katie cringed slightly.

"Katie, please don't do that," Jessie asked, in a cold, quiet voice- as she shoved her half eaten apple back in the brown lunch bag, suddenly losing her appetite.

Katie looked up at Jessie, narrowing her eyes as she spoke harshly to her girlfriend; "No Jessie………don't you act as though I'm invading you're life and independence by worrying about you!" Katie hissed.

Jessie turned away, pursing her lips, forcing the words she wanted to say down in her throat.

"Christ Jess! All this week the most I've seen you put into you're mouth is a goddam apple, and maybe, on occasion a buttered roll!" Katie sighed, but didn't stop her rampage.

"And I am worried about you………..because, unfortunately it's hard to know someone so well that you even know when something is wrong in their life! And I know that when something is bugging you, you retaliate by not eating!" Katie sighed again, as she started to pack up her lunch.

"And for whatever reason you wont talk to me about whatever is causing this worry………I don't know if it's about Lily planning this goddam birthday party that you don't want……….or if it's something else" Katie added.

Jessie turned to her, with an icy stare; "what do you mean 'something else'?……….you should know this whole party thing is what's bugging me……….or haven't you been listening to me these past 5 weeks?" Jessie hissed back.

Katie sighed, and shook her head slowly: "I have been listening Jess……….and I have been sympathising with you, because I know your too nice a person to shoot Lily down and tell her the truth………I'm just saying that there's something else on your mind……..and you wont tell me what it is……….but I have a fair idea……..I'm just upset to see that you wont admit it to yourself!" Katie scrambled to her feet, and looked down at Jessie.

"Well please tell me what is the cause of all my worry Katie………please, cause I would really like to know………." Jessie replied.

"Please Jess………..Last week you insisted upon meeting me parents for a formal dinner……….then when you told me what Grace said, about knowing about us………you said that it was a small weight off you're shoulders………..!" Katie looked down at Jessie, raising her eyebrow.

"Your sick of hiding our relationship………." Katie supplied for her.

Jessie looked down and shook her head, "No! I wouldn't feel comfortable with people knowing about us yet………having everyone in school look at us differently…….as if I wasn't a big enough outcast already!" Jessie sighed.

Katie bent down, close to Jessie, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly, forcing Jessie to turn and look at Katie's soft eyes: "I don't care if the whole goddam world knows about us……….how much I love you………but I can understand that you don't want the whole school knowing………and I can respect that………all I'm saying is……..your tired of knowing that the people close to you………..you're family……….don't know who you are!" Katie whispered softly; and slowly, she leaned in closer to Jessie, until both girls could feel each other's tickling breaths on each other's neck.

But, before their lips could connect in a soft kiss- Jessie turned away, and shifted her body, putting a small distance between her and Katie.

Katie stared at Jessie's averted eyes for a moment longer, but when she felt her own eyes begin to prick, she rose to her feet again.

"I don't care if people know about us………..but you do………..and it's killing you!" Katie whispered, and turned, walking away from Jessie.

JESSIE sometimes……….you just wish you could keep you're innermost secrets to yourself………….


	46. Chapter 46

GRACE you can do this………….it just requires………..some amount of courage.

Grace smiled, a sweet, innocent smile- trying to cover the raging nerves that were building inside her stomach as she walked closer and closer to the table Ayden was sitting at.

She dug her fingers into the strap of her backpack that was weighing on her shoulders- but continued to smile, even though she could feel everyone's eyes on her, as she inched forward, closer and closer to Ayden- now only a few steps away.

GRACE too bad I lack any amounts of courage!

His back was turned as he shared a joke with Scott, who was sitting opposite him- Scott looked up and stared at Grace for a moment- eventually Ayden turned around to see what was holding his friends gaze.

Grace and Ayden connected eyes, but only for a second before Ayden flinched and turned away- and Grace's smile dropped.

"Hey Grace!" Scott half smiled- Grace was surprised, and could only muster a friendly nod, as she regained her plastered smile.

There was silence for a moment- as Scott studied Ayden's face, waiting for his friend to invite his girlfriend to sit down.

Scott's hazel eyes looked back at Grace with a raised eyebrow, but his lips were still curved in a friendly smile.

"So sit down Grace…………." Scott urged, motioning to the spot next to Ayden.

Ayden's head quickly lifted and stared at his friend coldly, Scott stared right back- his face perplexed- then he looked at Grace again, and back to Ayden.

His face finally registered.

"I just remembered, I have to study for a science test……….or something………." Scott muttered, gathering the contents of his lunch tray.

He hurriedly scrambled to his feet, and turned to Grace "nice seeing you" he smiled, flicking one of his golden curls out of his face; he walked away, leaving Ayden and Grace alone.

Grace watched as Scott left, then looked down at Ayden's turned, hunched back.

She took one deep, exhausting breath, and sidled up next to him- making sure there was a gap of room between them.

Ayden didn't even flinch as she took up a seat next to him.

GRACE courage……….

"He doesn't know?" Grace finally inquired, as she looked down at her hands and started fiddling with the silver ring she wore on her thumb.

"Who?" Ayden replied icily.

Grace sighed, "Scott……….he's you're best friend……….and you didn't tell him?"

Ayden turned and looked at Grace, "what's to tell?" he asked, almost suspiciously.

Grace stared back at him, creasing her brow slightly as she thought through her answer; "I………….I………….don't know………..that we have…………." She allowed her unfinished sentence to linger.

"Broken up?" Ayden supplied, quickly and quietly.

Grace bowed her head, "so we have?" she asked.

Ayden turned away, reaching over the table for his un-opened pepsi can- "I don't know" he muttered, as he popped it open.

"Well neither do I!" Grace spat back, unintentionally rude.

Ayden took a small sip, and turned back to Grace, narrowing his eyes.

"What do you expect me to say Grace?" he asked slowly, as if talking to a child.

"Well……….do you want us to be over?" Grace finally asked, taking a short breath.

Ayden turned away again, taking a longer sip this time.

"I don't think that's up to me……………"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Grace spat back.

"It means………….you're the one calling the shots" Ayden said, calmly.

"What! Excuse me Ayden………….but that's not fair………….I mean, you've probably told the entire school about what a two-timing slut I am, and you say I'm calling the shots? When you're the one that has the upper hand………….because I'm the one that betrayed you?" Grace's mouth suddenly tasted bitter.

Ayden turned to her, keeping his voice low and husky- "do you think I would seriously do that to you?"

Grace turned away, ashamed by her outburst- "well I don't know……….but it feels as though everyone in this whole goddam school is staring at me……….accusing me……….."

"Your paranoid!" Ayden said calmly.

Grace was silent for a moment, as she studied Ayden's profile- "I suppose I am" she agreed, and after those words came a long silence, before Ayden spoke again.

"Look Grace…………I know you probably thought that by telling me the truth you were sparing me some huge heartache further down the track……….but in all honesty, I wish you'd kept that little piece of information to yourself……….about not loving me………cause right now I'm hurting real bad" Ayden turned to her, studied her soft pink lips, and her lowered eyes.

"And to be perfectly honest……….I don't know where you and I stand at the moment……….all I know is………..you hurt me………."

Grace couldn't take it any more; "I'm sorry Ayden……….you have to believe me………….I never meant to, but it was eating away at me………!" she exclaimed.

Ayden raised his hand, and Grace fell silent.

"Maybe I could handle it if you didn't love me because you weren't ready………….but the fact that someone else is involved………that you love someone else………."

"No! I don't love this person………..it's just…………."

"The fact that they are returning feelings makes you doubt 'us'……….?" Ayden finished for her, without looking into her eyes.

"Yes" she squeaked.

"Look Grace……………I still love you………." Ayden finally whispered.

Grace looked up, a small smile on her face.

"But I don't want you to say those words back to me………if you don't mean them"

"It's just………..love is such a strong word………" Grace muttered, looking deeply into Ayden's eyes.

"Yeah, especially when you mean it" Ayden replied- "and I cant be with you until I trust you again, and I don't know how long that will be" Ayden added.

Grace's smile vanished.

"I better go" Ayden whispered.

He turned, about to rise from his seat; but before he did, he turned back to Grace, and leaned in.

She took a small breath and closed her eyes, waiting to feel his familiar lips caress hers.

But all she felt were his warm lips press lightly against her cheek- she opened her eyes, and stared into Ayden's as he pulled away- got up from his seat, and walked away………..the school bell echoing with him as he left.

GRACE courage and a little bit of truth is all I need.

* * *

Eli watched as Jessie approached his car- he noticed her eyes were narrowed, and, if he was mistake, even a little watery.

She grabbed at the door handle and flung the door open- Eli turned around, ready to scold his sister, but silenced himself when he saw her eyes were indeed puffy and glazed.

She slid in, and angrily slammed the door behind her- sullenly crossing her arms over her chest; she pursed her lips and sat quietly- ignoring her brother's stare.

Eli turned back, and saw Grace walking towards them- her arms crossed and head bowed.

He sighed.

ELI this is going to be a long car ride home……….

Grace grimly sided into the car, next to Jessie, who was forced to move down a seat.

"Ok………." Eli whispered quietly to himself as he got the car started.

ELI definitely a long trip home………

Eli looked in the rear view mirror at both girls with brooding faces.

"Either of you want to share what's on you're mind?" he asked, cautiously.

"Just keep driving!" Jessie hissed, as she turned and looked out the window.

Grace did the same, ignoring Eli's question.

GRACE its you're fault I'm in this mess anyway……….

"What about you Grace?" Eli asked, as he flipped his indicator on, he looked in the rear view mirror- slightly frightened to see Grace's narrowed eyes staring right back at him.

"Not particularly!" she said, icily.

"Ok………….two angry, female teenagers………….I can put two and two together………" Eli said smugly.

Jessie and Grace both turned and looked at each other, and then both averted their eyes to Eli, both flashing him a deadly stare.

"Shut up!" they both said in unison.

Eli fidgeted in his seat, and nodded his head once.

"Alright then" he said, in the smallest voice.


	47. Chapter 47

Jessie lightly ran her fingers over the bodice of her red dress; the silk felt like water, seeping between her skin.

But that was all she liked about the blood red dress, the material, everything else seemed too much just for her sixteenth birthday party.

It was strapless, 100 silk chiffon with beadwork design along the bodice, waist, and hem of her dress.

The beadwork was made of silver-crystal tubular beads, forming trailing flowers.

"Jessie honey………..do you have it on yet?" Karen called from the lounge room.

Jessie smoothed the front of the dress out, and sighed as she glanced in the mirror once more.

JESSIE (wearing her formal dress, examining herself in a mirror) what a shame………. I mean I am only ever going to wear this once in my entire life………..

"Yes mum" Jessie called, as she turned and headed out of her bedroom- the dress swishing as she walked.

"Oh wow" Henry smiled at Jessie from his place on the sofa, a warm, encouraging smile.

Karen stood up and walked over to Jessie, who rolled her eyes when she caught sight of the tears in her mother's eyes.

"You look radiant Jess" Karen exclaimed, bringing her daughter close for a hug.

"Mum!" Jessie whined, fidgeting out of her mother's arms- she could feel her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"Well you do!" Karen smiled, swiping at the tears that ran down her cheeks.

Karen looked down, examining her daughter from head to toe- "oh, but you don't have the heels on" Karen sighed, looking down at Jessie's bare feet.

"I can't walk in those strappy things," Jessie admitted.

"Well, we'll just have to practice" Karen smiled warmly, and moved to Jessie's side, tucking her arm around her daughters waist- she beamed at Henry as she held Jessie close.

"Is my daughter beautiful or what?" Karen glowed.

Henry flashed a broad smile "just like her mother" he replied.

"Oh geez……….." Jessie sighed.

"Mum!"

Both Karen and Jessie turned their attention to Eli, who stood awkwardly in the hallway.

"Come out here sweety……….I can't see you!" Karen ordered.

Eli hesitated for a moment, and then stepped into the lounge room to show off his new suit.

"Oh very slick" Karen admired, stepping over to her son, she adjusted his black tie.

"I didn't need a new suit………I still have that one from dad and Lily's wedding!" Eli moaned, shooing his mother away.

Jessie giggled slightly as she looked at her brother- his slick black suit, white shirt and black tie was a nice change from his usual baggy jeans, combat boots and worn rock t-shirts.

Eli looked up, flashing his sister a small grin; "you clean up ok" he said simply.

Jessie gasped at his comment, "I look beautiful!" she mocked, twirling around once, "don't I mum?" she asked smugly.

"Yes you do dear……….even with that big head"

"Mum!" Jessie gasped with a smile.

Karen shrugged, and examined Jessie one last time; "you should ask Tad to wear a red tie with his suit……….so your matching"

Jessie looked down at her hands, running them over the bodice of the dress again.

JESSIE (bites bottom of her lip)

"It's not a bring your own date kind of party mum………." Jessie said, a little shyly.

JESSIE Ok, so I never said that I WAS going out with Tad………..but then again………..I never said I wasn't.

"Oh I know, but still, it'd be cute- especially for the photo's!" Karen smiled.

Jessie looked away, trying to avoid her mother's eyes, "yeah………..maybe" she said, quietly.

JESSIE it's not that I'm hiding anything………..I'm simply allowing the truth to linger somewhere in-between.

Karen shrugged, "Ok, now go take the outfits off before you get them dirty." Karen shooed her children back into their rooms, and joined Henry back on the couch, snuggling close, she rested her head on his shoulder.

He reached for her hand, and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly.

Karen studied their entwined fingers- the light and the dark.

"Are you ok that Lily planned all of this?" Henry asked slowly.

Karen thought for a moment, "I'm fine with it………….I mean, she seemed pretty passionate about it all………." She finally answered.

"Oh………well I think it was very sweet of you to allow Lily to do this for her" Henry said softly.

Karen looked up, into his dark eyes; "I know" she smiled, and rested her head back on his shoulder.

"But I have dibs on Jessie's wedding……….." she added, and smiled as Henry's stomach lifted up and down with laughter.

* * *

Jessie held the phone close to her ear, and twirled the spiral chord around her index finger as she listened to the ring tone.

She sat, cross-legged, in the middle of her bed- with the red formal gown still on- and her heart pounding as her call was finally answered.

"Singer residents"

"Err………hello Mrs Singer………this is Jessie"

"Well hello dear, how are you this evening?"

"I'm fine thankyou……….I was wondering if I could speak to Katie?"

"Oh, let me just get her for you"

"Thankyou"

Jessie heard the phone click as it was put on the table- and she could hear the faint sound of Mrs. Singer's high heels clicking on the wooden floorboards, and then silence.

She bit her bottom lip and twirled the phone chord some more, as she awaited Katie's soft, husky voice.

Finally, she heard Mrs Singer's heels return to the phone………Jessie only head Mrs. Singer's shoes, no one else's.

"Jessie?……….I'm sorry………Katie is………..busy, she might give you a call later"

Her heart sank, the outburst at school earlier today was clearly worse than Jessie had first thought.

"Oh ok……….thankyou" she said, numbly, and hung up the phone.

Jessie felt hollow inside as she thought back to the words Katie had hissed at her earlier today………..Jessie shuddered as she realized………they were all true.

And suddenly, because Jessie was too afraid, ashamed, nervous……….whatever the reason……….because she couldn't tell her family about who she really was………..it had torn her and Katie apart.

And, for the first time since……….forever……….Jessie contemplated life without Katie………..suddenly, Jessie began to cry, tears falling down her red satin dress, she cried quietly and softly.

JESSIE I don't want anyone to hear me.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Sorry for the non-Eli/Grace moment in this chapter.

But don't worry……….I am leading up to something, you will just have to wait and see!

HAPPY EASTER!


	48. Chapter 48

"Grace" 

She cringed at the sound of her name and the familiar voice that called it out as she walked along the school hallway.

Reluctantly Grace turned, and saw Amanda's short brown hair and wide smile heading towards her through the dwindling crowds of people.

Grace strained a smile as she tried to remember just who Amanda was.

GRACE Josh's girlfriend? Rick's? Sean's?

"Hey Grace, how are you?" Amanda beamed as she approached Grace.

"Fine, just fine" she replied, politely.

"We haven't seen you for ages- not at the guys practice, at lunch……..where have you been?" Amanda cocked her head to one side as she awaited Grace's reply.

GRACE Well you see………….

"Oh, I've been around" Grace said slowly.

GRACE the thing is………….

"Huh? Really?" Amanda had a questioning tone in her voice, "Are you and Ayden ok? He hasn't mentioned you lately……….you two were attached at the hip a few days ago!"

GRACE think of us as…………attached no more!

"Oh, no, we're fine" Grace flicked a loose piece of hair behind her ear, and felt the blood rush to her cheeks as Amanda stared intently into her face, expecting her to say more.

"It's just, we have both been so busy……" she began to drift off, and Amanda spotted the insecurity in her voice.

"Oh no! You two aren't on a 'break' are you?" She asked, sympathetically.

Grace could see Amanda's lips twitch into a sympathetic pout; her eyes became big and puppy-dog like- as though Grace had just told her she was dying of a terminal illness.

"Oh no, nothing like that!" Grace's eyes started to dart around, looking for someone to save her from this conversation…….from Amanda's sympathetic, sad eyes.

"Grace! You should have said something……….are you ok?" Amanda dug deeper into her forgiving soul.

"I am so completely fine!" Grace tried straining her tone, to lighten it with an up-beat happiness- but as she spoke the words, she could hear how fake they sounded.

Amanda opened her mouth, about to spurt out more condolences, but Grace couldn't take anymore!

"Oh gee, I really have to get going" Grace looked down at her bare wrist, and then back at Amanda.

"Seeya" She started to walk away from her, "And really, everything is fine!" she added, and started to quicken her pace, leaving Amanda dumb-founded.

GRACE (puts her head into her hands) it'll be all over the school by 12:00 today

* * *

Eli lumbered through the house, going straight from his room to the kitchen.

"Early start today?"

Jessie startled him, and in his still hazy/dream state, he almost lost his balance and fell over.

"Yeah………….got up at 6:00…………….got home at 1:00………." Eli muttered, as he raided the fridge.

Jessie looked down at her watch and then back at her brother, "and you have now awoken at 5:30?" she asked.

"I need to eat, don't I?" he mumbled, his head stuck in the fridge.

Jessie closed her math book and packed away her sheets of homework that were scattered on the bench.

"You know we're going back to Lily's for dinner, don't you?" she asked.

Eli moaned and brought his head out of the fridge, closing the door.

"Why not here?" he asked, walking over and leaning on the bench.

"Because Henry is taking mum out to dinner, and I insisted that they have it alone!" Jessie sighed, looking at her brother- with his shaggy bed hair and heavy, sleep filled eyes.

"You know Eli………….you really haven't been yourself lately!" Jessie continued to study Eli's sullen face.

"Really? And why's that?" he asked, a bored tone.

"I don't know! You tell me!"

"Nothing to tell" he grunted, walking into the lounge room and taking a seat on the sofa.

Jessie followed him, sitting down on the coffee table in front of her brother.

"Maybe its just old age kicking in" she nodded her head matter-of-factly.

Eli gave Jessie a soft kick on her leg, and she mocked pain.

"What about you?" he asked.

Jessie fell silent, and averted her eyes; "I'm fine," she mumbled.

"Your not starving yourself again, are you?" Eli's brow creased in concern.

"Eli!" Jessie turned to her brother, her eyes narrowed, "don't be a jerk!" she said, sternly, as she wrapped her arms around her middle.

"Sorry………….but seriously, how is everything with you?" he sunk lower into the couch as he awaited his sister's reply.

JESSIE I'm in love………….have been for the last few months……but I can't tell anyone, because I'm in love with a girl.

"Schools getting a bit harder" she mumbled.

Eli nodded, "I'm glad I'm outta that prison!" he muttered, "but that kinda stuff doesn't usually bug you?" he studied her eyes.

"Yeah well, I suppose life in general is getting a little harder aswell"

"Life………..specifically love life?" Eli sighed, knowing how hard that could weigh on a person.

Jessie looked away, suddenly wishing she could retreat inside herself and not have this conversation……..…..

"You don't want to talk about it with you're big brother, right?" Eli kicked out at Jessie once more, and this time she rose to her feet.

"Not really" she uttered, and headed back into her room.

"We're leaving for Lily's Jess!" Eli called out.

"Yeah, yeah!" came the muffled reply.

* * *

"Pick a card any card!" Zoe pushed a fan of cards into Grace's face that was bowed, while she read a book at the breakfast table.

"Go away Zoe" she mumbled, pushing away Zoe's hand.

"Grace! Just once…………pick a card and I'll show you a trick!" Zoe whined, putting the cards back under Grace's nose.

She sighed angrily, "No Zoe! I have to study!" she pushed at her sister's hand again.

"Grace!" Zoe began to whine.

Suddenly, Grace's head shot up, and her eyes narrowed into an icy stare- "Zoe, I have had a really bad day………..actually………..i've had a bad last couple of weeks………and all I really feel like doing right now is reading this stupid book for English, ok?" Grace pursed her lips, as she waited for Zoe to back away.

But she didn't, she simply stared right back at Grace, and slowly raised her hand with the cards- "pick-a-card!" she said, sternly.

Grace gritted her teeth, and let out a loud wailing sound, throwing her hands in the air.

"Zoe get the hell away from me!" Grace gathered her books, and rose abruptly from her seat.

"Why can't you just pick a card?" Zoe asked, as she followed Grace up the stairs.

"Because I don't want to pick a card!" Grace spat back.

"Grace!" Zoe yelled at her sister, as she stood in her doorway of her room- Grace turned and looked at Zoe; "you're a bad sister!" she added.

"So sue me!" Grace bellowed back, slamming the door behind her.

"I would if I knew you were worth anything!" Zoe cried back- Jessie and Eli stepped through the front door, hearing the last of Zoe's words- they turned their attention to her as she stood, halfway up the stairs.

"Want to pick a card?" Zoe asked, turning her attention to the new arrivals.


	49. Chapter 49

**AUTHORS NOTE**  
this chapter starts off from where 48 finished.

* * *

"Is Grace ok?" Eli raised an eyebrow as he studied Zoe's cunning face.

"It's always about Grace!" Zoe spat back, and started trudging heavily up the stairs "I'm the one who suffers………..I'm the one stuck with a terrible, mean sister!" Zoe practically screamed, and as she walked into her bedroom, she slammed the door fiercely behind her.

Eli and Jessie turned to one another and shrugged.

"I better go see Grace" Eli mumbled, and slung his bag onto the floor.

"Ok" Jessie said, and headed into the kitchen "I'm going to call Katie" she said to her brother over her shoulder.

Eli nodded and headed up the stairs.

* * *

"Go away pest!" Grace yelled at her closed door.

But the only reply that came to her verbal abuse was three more knocks on her door.

Grace reached behind her for her pillow, holding it tightly in her hand; she waited for the door to open………….

Eli's head poked into Grace's room, and before he could think, a pillow came hurtling at him.

"It's me!" He yelled while picking the pillow up from the floor.

"Sorry………" Grace sighed, scrambling off her bed and walking to Eli.

"That's ok" Eli muttered, handing the pillow back to her.

She smiled and reached up to his head, patting it softly "Didn't hurt you, did I?" she asked, quietly.

Eli reflected her grin, "Nah……….you throw like a girl!" he muttered.

Grace gasped, and pushed the pillow hard into his chest, causing Eli to step back in mock pain.

It took him a moment to catch his breath, when he looked up, Grace was sitting at the edge of her bed, looking down at her hands and twirling her thumb ring over and over.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" He asked, closing her door behind him, he took a few steps forward into her room, and stood infront of her, looking down at her bowed head.

"Not really" she mumbled.

"Is this about Zoe and her card trick?……….." he started.

Grace let out a small laugh, and both her and Eli were surprised to hear that she was crying quietly.

"Grace?" he tried again, bending down, he tried looking at her face, but she turned away and swiped at the small tears that were falling.

"I'm fine" she uttered, her voice croaky from tears.

"No your not" Eli started again, and brought his index finger to rest under her chin, slowly raising her head so she looked into his face.

Her eyes were big and watery, with small droplets of tears running down her flushed cheeks.

ELI she's beautifully sad when she cries………..

"Your beautiful when you cry" Eli whispered- the words simply tumbling out of his mouth.

Grace sniffed once more, and closed her swollen eyes for a moment- "it's that………." She whispered, opening her eyes again.

"What………?" Eli asked softly.

Grace reached up, softly pushing down the hand that rested beneath her chin.

"You……….me………..how hard everything has become all of a sudden" she uttered.

Eli looked away for a moment, and then turned to study her deep brown eyes again; "Sorry………" he started again.

"Don't be sorry Eli………..just tell me what's happening"

ELI I love you………….but you don't know who you love.

"I can't do that," Eli whispered oh so softly.

"Why not?" Grace croaked, her voice pleading for an answer.

"Because I know where I stand……….. I know how I feel about you, and I'm not about to hide that…………..but you, and this whole thing with Ayden………..you don't know what you feel," Eli said, simply.

Grace turned away for a moment, brushing away more tears; "I wish I knew, so I could stop hurting you both" she sighed.

ELI I have to

He lifted his hand beneath her chin again, turning her head back to him "I can wait until forever………." He uttered.

Grace stared into his hazel eyes, "thankyou" she mumbled.

Without even realizing it, they had both inched forward, and nervously and tentatively……….their lips met in a perfect, moist kiss.

_**What if I told you  
It was all meant to be  
Would you believe me,  
Would you agree  
It's almost that feelin'  
That we've met before  
So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy  
When I tell you love has come and now.………..**_

GRACE (standing by herself, staring into camera) why can this feel so right………….but be so wrong? (Eli walks into view, and stands beside Grace, she turns to him and they look into each others eyes)

**_A moment like this  
Some people wait a lifetime,  
For a moment like this  
Some people search forever,  
For that one special kiss  
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me  
Some people wait a lifetime,  
For a moment like this_**

They pulled away, Grace's lips still quivering from her cries; she continued to stare into Eli's eyes.

**_Everything changes  
But beauty remains  
Something so tender  
I can't explain  
Well I maybe dreamin'  
But 'till I awake  
Can we make this dream last forever  
And I'll cherish all the love we share_**

"Your making it harder………" she whispered.

**_For a moment like this  
Some people wait a lifetime,  
For a moment like this  
Some people search forever,  
For that one special kiss  
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me  
Some people wait a lifetime,  
For a moment like this_**

"I'm sorry" he replied, in a husky breath.

_**Could this be the greatest love of all  
I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall  
So let me tell you this...  
Some people wait a lifetime**_

ELI (still standing, looking into Grace's eyes)

**_For a moment like this  
Some people spent two lifetimes,  
For a moment like this  
Some people search forever,  
For that one special kiss  
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me  
Some people wait a lifetime,  
For a moment like this_**

"You should be" Grace sighed heavily.

**_OHHHH, LIKE THIS  
OHHHH, YEAH, 'cuz people search for every moment yeah.  
Some people wait a lifetime,  
for a moment like this.  
Ohhhhh, like this._**

"I'll go" Eli replied again, and shifted his body, about to get up and leave………..but Grace rested her hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn and look into her face again.

She didn't say anything, only cupped his face in her hands, and bent her head down for another kiss that seemed to last forever.

ELI & GRACE (both turn away from one another and walk off, leaving a blank black screen…………then, we see them both run back to one another and embrace each other in an intense kiss)

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE

Song at the end, which was just background music, was Kelly Clarkson's 'a moment like this'.


	50. Chapter 50

Their lips parted for a moment, as Grace tried to catch her breath.

Eli smiled as he waited for her small, hot breaths to calm.

"We…………shouldn't……………be……………doing………..this," she finally uttered.

Eli smiled and moved his lips closer to hers again; the small smile spread across her red lips told him she didn't mean her words.

"We shouldn't," she whispered again, although she leaned into his lips aswell.

"So don't," he whispered again, their lips touching softly.

For a moment their tongues caressed, but Grace pulled away quickly, and stared into his eyes.

GRACE they have a tinge of green in them.

They didn't say anything; Grace merely grasped her hands around the collar of his brown jacket, leaned down and kissed his lips hard while pulling his body onto her bed.

Eli's body scrambled on top of hers, all the while their lips still kissed viciously.

Grace cupped his head in her hands while her lips devoured him.

ELI I could do this forever.

"Grace, Eli?"

* * *

Jessie knocked once, "Grace, Eli?" she called, and twisted the handle, pushing Grace's door open.

"Zoe says she wants an apology…………." Jessie sighed, stepping into Grace's room.

She stopped, dead in her tracks like a deer caught in headlights at the sight before her.

JESSIE Eli……………Grace……………kissing…………..WHAT!

Eli leapt off of Grace, allowing her to sit upright.

"Oh my god………….." Jessie croaked, her jaw plummeting to the ground, she quickly turned around, closing the door behind her.

"Oh god" Grace sighed wearily, allowing her head to drop into her hands.

Eli, wide eyed, ran to Grace's door, pulled it open and grabbed Jessie's arm, pulling her back inside.

"Let go of me…………." Jessie cried hoarsely.

Grace leapt to her feet, and stood awkwardly; crossing her arms, she looked on at Eli and Jessie's struggle.

Eli released his grip on Jessie's arm and she pulled away quickly, turning towards the door again.

"Jess!" Eli said harshly, reaching for her arm again, but she swiped it back.

"This is not happening," she muttered, walking towards the door.

Eli walked after her, grabbing her arm again, he pulled her around, "your staying until we can tell you………………" Eli tried.

Jessie snatched her arm away, "tell me what? That you two have a sick, twisted brother and sister relationship going on…………….like something out of Jerry Springer?" Jessie yelled back, interrupting him.

"Can you lower you're voice?" Eli's eyes narrowed.

Jessie reflected the same icy stare as her brother, and opened her mouth, about to yell a retort.

"Jessie, please?"

Both Eli and Jessie's heads turned to Grace, whose arms were wrapped around her shaking body, "please" she croaked again, in an uneven, broken voice.

Jessie stared at her fragile stepsister for a moment, knowing that she owed Grace for the time she consoled her after she and Katie had a small fight.

"Fine" she whispered meekly.

"Thankyou Jess" Grace mumbled, taking a seat at the edge of her bed.

* * *

"And Ayden?"

"He………….doesn't know about Eli"

"But he knows your cheating on him?"

Grace looked down at her hands, "yes" she mumbled.

Jessie turned away, unable to look Grace in the eye, "that's real nice," she muttered icily.

"Jess" Eli warned, in Grace's defense.

She turned to him, "how could you both do this?" she asked.

Grace and Eli shared a quick glance, and then both turned to Jessie.

"We aren't doing anything…………" Grace tried.

"It didn't look like you were doing 'nothing' half an hour ago!" Jessie replied hoarsely.

Grace blushed and turned away, passing the explanation over to Eli.

"What do you want us to say Jess…………what can we do so you don't think any less of us?" he asked wearily.

She turned away from her brothers pleading eyes, "Have you even thought about dad and Lily?" she asked, quietly.

When neither Eli nor Grace replied, Jessie continued.

"I mean………..how would they feel about all this? Their children dating………….it's sick and twisted and I don't know how you can be so goddam selfish!" she spat.

There was a long, thick, suffocating silence, when finally Eli spoke gently to his sister.

"What can we do Jess?" he asked again.

She turned to him, her eyes big and stinging; "Nothing………….." she whispered.

"Will you tell mum and Rick?" Grace asked quietly.

Jessie looked away, out the window into the dimming light.

"I don't want to be the one that breaks it to them" she replied.

Grace looked down at her hands again, "Thankyou" she muttered pathetically.

Jessie sighed and shook her head as she stood up; "I just don't believe this" she uttered again, and turned, walking out the door- leaving Eli and Grace to suffocate in the silence again.

He looked over at her petite, drained face, her eyes so sad.

He walked over to where she was sitting at the edge of her bed, and sat beside her, taking her hand in his, holding it tightly.

"It was bound to happen," he whispered lightly.

She looked down at their entwined hands.

GRACE (sighs heavily)

She pulled her hand away, "I think I need to be alone" she said, simply.

Eli didn't say anything, only stood up and walked towards her door- but turned around before walking out.

"I'll wait until forever…………" he said, and walked out.

"I know" Grace sighed, looking down at her bare hands.


	51. Chapter 51

Grace brought her plate into the kitchen where her mother stood over the sink; Lily turned to her daughter and smiled, taking the plate from her hand.

"You kids were quiet tonight" she commented in a light tone.

Grace looked down at her feet, "really?" she asked, uninterested.

"You're not fighting, are you?" Lily glanced at Grace.

"No………..we've just been really busy………..me and Jessie with school, and Eli with his job……….it's probably just wearing us all out" Grace drifted off.

"Hmmm………" Lily murmured in agreement as she scrubbed at the dishes.

"You want some help?" Grace asked, picking up the wash towel from the bench.

Lily turned to her daughter and smiled warmly, "No……….Rick can do that……….you go finish off some homework or something"

Grace nodded once and headed for the door, but turned and watched her mother for a moment longer.

Lily felt her daughters' presence still in the kitchen, she lifted her head and looked at her curiously "did you want to talk about something Gracie?" she asked, in a gentle tone.

GRACE I'm sorry that I'm being so selfish……….

Grace shook her head once, and took a few steps towards her mother; she leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek.

"What's that for?" Lily asked, trying to conceal her questioning tone.

Grace smiled, "Nothing…………." She said, and left the kitchen, leaving Lily with a small smile on her face.

* * *

"So you're mum liked the dress?" Rick looked over at his daughter, and broke a bread roll in half.

Jessie looked up from her plate, "yeah………." She replied, and bowed her head again.

Eli reached for his glass of water, and took a long gulp.

"And you're suit fits ok?" Rick asked his son.

Eli almost choked on the water, "Err……….fine" he said quickly.

Rick nodded, and continued to chew on his bread roll- the only sound filling the room now was the soft clanking of dishes in the kitchen.

RICK sometimes I feel so utterly detached from my children…………..

"Good, good" Rick murmured, looking down at his bare plate, trying to think of more to say.

RICK I'm only ever on the outside………..watching them from a distance as they grow into these………….adults…………..these amazing adults living out these extraordinary lives………….that I can only ever watch from a distance.

"So……….3 more sleeps………." Rick sighed, looking to Jessie again.

She didn't reply to his reminder about the birthday party she didn't want, instead she turned to him, forced a smile and nodded once.

Then pushed her chair out from the table.

"I'm finished," she declared, walking hastily into the kitchen.

Eli did the same, noisily pushing his chair out and following Jessie into the kitchen with his plate.

Now, only Rick was left at the massive, deserted table.

He sighed and broke another bread roll in half.

RICK that was a long time ago now…………I can hardly remember it………….it seems more like a movie………..one that, I cant quite remember the story line………..but I know it was a good……….and I know I enjoyed it.

* * *

"Jessie!" Eli whispered harshly, as he followed her up the stairs.

"I don't want to talk to you right now Eli!" she replied.

"Jess, please!" he begged as they got to the top of the stairs.

"No!" she said firmly, walking into her room and slamming the door behind her.

Eli sighed and ran a hand through his hair, turning, he looked at Grace's closed door, and walked towards it.

He was about to raise is hand and knock, but hesitated, remembering Grace's words earlier "I want to be alone………."

He sighed, and headed back down the stairs.

* * *

Jessie lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, listening as the footsteps climbed her staircase.

Eventually they stopped climbing, and Jessie sat up slightly.

"Hey" Grace said, quietly.

Jessie didn't say anything, only continued to stare at her.

"Can we talk?" Grace asked, when Jessie remained silent.

Jessie shrugged, and watched as Grace walked over to the wicker chair beside her bed, and sat down tentatively.

"So………..your pretty angry……….." Grace said after the longest time.

Jessie huffed and allowed her head to fall back onto her pillow; she wasn't going to make any of this easy for Grace.

"That's understandable" Grace finally whispered, ignoring Jessie's heavy sigh.

"Jessie I'm sorry you think this is wrong………….." Grace finally sighed, allowing her tense shoulders to drop.

Jessie's head rolled to the side, and looked at Grace's tired face.

"I don't know how any of this happened……….. I think there's a part of me that still believes I'll wake up tomorrow and realize this was all a dream……….."

"Not a nightmare?" Jessie chimed in icily.

Grace sighed again, and leaned forward "Jessie please……….." she said, quietly.

"The thing is………….I don't know what's happening……….." Grace said softly, knowing that Jessie wouldn't interrupt her again.

"I have always had feeling for Eli…………..and I know you know that……….." Grace studied Jessie's face, but she wasn't going to show Grace anything.

"Before our parents got married………..I had the biggest crush on him……….but then Carla happened, and Mr. Dimitri……….. Our parents did get married, and I suppose I simply forgot about how I used to feel about him"

GRACE I forgot for the longest time.

"I simply put it down as a flimsy crush……….and I moved on. And when Ayden came along, I knew things were changing for me………in ways I could have never predicted. I was certain that I was falling for him, in a way I had never fallen for Eli."

Grace sighed as she thought of Ayden, but continued, none the less.

"I don't know why, but Eli realized his feelings for me, at the exact same time as I forgot mine for him, and started to develop strong feelings for Ayden. I didn't even see it coming; he was so far from my mind, I had no idea the feelings he had for me………….not until……….he kissed me……….."

"And you kissed him back?" Jessie prompted.

Grace nodded, and continued, "the thing was……….as much as I didn't want to feel it………..when Eli kissed me, I felt alive………as though everything was falling into place and I was getting what I had always wanted………….but then I remembered, I already had that……….in Ayden"

When Grace didn't go on, Jessie sat up and turned to look at her.

"And………." She insisted.

"And……….Eli and I didn't know what to do………. I tried avoiding him, but that doesn't really work when you live in the same house……….and……….. I suppose our feelings grew………..and then Ayden told me he loved me, and that was it……….I couldn't lie to him anymore and I told him there was someone else, someone I was confused about, and because of that confusion, I didn't think we should be together"

"And, here you are now?" Jessie asked.

Grace nodded again, "Today, I was in a weird place………word got out that I had cheated on Ayden, and I felt like everyone was against me……….Eli was there, and I turned to him for comfort in the worst possible way………." She sighed, and sat back in the big chair.

The room fell silent as Jessie ran Grace's words over in her mind.

"How do you feel about my brother, Grace?" she finally spoke.

Grace's eyes lifted, and studied Jessie's soft face.

"I don't know……….I don't know anything anymore. I mean, on the one hand I have always had feeling for Eli……….but on the other………I feel so strongly about Ayden………."

Jessie nodded slowly, "does Ayden know its Eli?"

Grace shook her head, "no, he didn't ask………. I don't think he wants to purposely hurt himself anymore than I already have……….and personally, I'm glad to not tell him"

"Your going to have to eventually………and Lily, and dad……….and, everybody!" Jessie stated, firmly.

"I know, I know!" Grace sighed, feeling her eyes prick.

Jessie looked away for a moment, and then whispered, "I don't want to judge you and Eli"

Grace looked up, her brow creased as she listed to Jessie continue.

"I don't want to hate you both, for following you're feelings and trying to work things out………..that's all understandable…………but at the same time, I don't want the family to be hurt"

"Neither do we!" Grace exclaimed.

Jessie nodded slowly, "If it helps………just know that I'm here for both of you………." She said, in a whisper.

Grace didn't say anything, only leaned forward, and wrapped her arms around Jessie's small body, holding her tightly.

"Thankyou" she whispered.


	52. Chapter 52

"But you are still coming?" Jessie sighed as she listened to the silence leaking out from the other end "right?" she added.

She'd been trying to call Katie all week, and now, with only 2 nights left before her sixteenth; and no indication whether or not Katie was still coming, Jessie was desperate to speak with her.

Katie had been avoiding her at school………had refused to speak to her on the phone………and Jessie had been too afraid to go to her home and speak with her……….afraid of what she might say.

"Katie?" Jessie asked quietly, holding the phone close to her ear- she sunk lower into the couch as she listened to more silence.

Katie sighed deeply, "I……….I just don't know Jess" she said, finally.

Jessie couldn't believe her luck, when, for the fifth time that day………Katie's voice sang through the phone. Not her mother's, or father's; explaining some lame excuse to Jessie about Katie having homework or going to a movie……….it was Katie, and now that Jessie finally caught her, she couldn't possibly just hang up! She couldn't to that to Jessie.

Although, right now, 2 minutes into their conversation, Katie was being extremely vague………hardly speaking at all.

"Katie please………I want you to come………please?" Jessie whispered harshly into the phone.

She quickly peered over her shoulder- grateful that the house was practically empty.

Grace and Lily were taking Zoe to get her dress altered again because she was still tripping over the hem; Eli was at work………..and her father was outside fixing the car.

"I don't know Jess………I've been thinking a lot these last few days………about us………about a lot of things" Katie sighed, and Jessie cut in quickly before she could say more.

"Please Katie" She closed her eyes as she spoke, feeling them begin to prick "don't say what I think your going to………because I cant hear that right now………."

"Jess, I just think that maybe……….."

"Katie, please……….."

Jessie quickly peered over her shoulder again as she heard her father's footsteps trudge into the house.

"No, Jess, this is all so hard for me…………"

Jessie focussed back on Katie as she listened to her humbling voice, and became unaware of her father walking into the living room, not until he was standing by the couch, looking down at her.

She looked up at him, feeling anger rise in the pit of her stomach.

"Please hold on for a second?" Jessie chimed into the phone, trying to suppress her tears.

"Hey Jess……….want to do something today?" Rick smiled down at his daughter.

RICK I don't want to be a bystander anymore.

"Not now, okay dad?" Jessie replied, a little icily; she rose from the couch, and turned to leave the room.

"C'mon Jess……….. I just finished the car………we could go to Baskin Robins and get some ice-cream?"

RICK Ok……….lame, I know……….but it's what we used to do.

Jessie held the phone to her chest, "No dad, I'm busy" she replied, sternly.

"Jess! I hardly spend anytime with you these days………" he started following her to the stairs.

Jessie spun around, "No dad! Just leave me alone, okay?" her tone was flat and venomous, her eyes narrowing as she spoke.

"Okay………sorry Jess" Rick replied, humbly.

She started walking up the stairs, putting the phone back to her ear, Rick watched her go.

RICK I guess it's not up to me……….. I suppose I just have to wait until she………and Eli………want to let me in again.

"Katie, I'm sorry about that" Jessie spoke again when she was safe in her room, door closed.

"Sorry Jess………. I don't think I can go to you're party……….goodbye"

Jessie tried to say something, but Katie hung up too quickly, leaving behind the echoing beeping……….Jessie breathed in and out, and then clicked the hang up button on the phone.

JESSIE I don't know how long I can wait until she lets me in again………..

* * *

Eli walked into the kitchen, surprised to find his father, sitting at the breakfast table, staring down at his hands.

"Dad?" Eli breathed.

His father's head lifted, revealing a blank, far off expression- he saw Eli's eyes widen in panic, and quickly curved his lips into a warm smile.

Eli's panicked suppressed, but only slightly.

He dug his hands into his pockets, and cautiously walked towards his father.

"You ok dad?" he asked, tentatively.

"Hmm?" Rick murmured, looking up at Eli, not quite hearing him.

RICK he used to be so small……….he used to fit in the nook of my arm.

"Are you alright?" Eli repeated, pulling out a chair opposite his father.

Rick nodded heavily, and veered his eyes back to the table.

Eli opened his mouth, about to say more, when Rick lifted his head- and looked into his son's eyes.

"Tell me something………" Rick said, hoarsely.

Eli, taken back by his father's odd behaviour, nodded.

"Tell me your ok……….." Rick whispered.

ELI ok? I'm in love with the one person I can't have……….the one person I'm not supposed to want……….. I don't know where I belong in the world…………. I'm stuck in a dead-end job that was only given to me out of pity………. I let go of my dream music career long ago………. I'm not………

"I'm ok………I'm happy" Eli said, in a small voice.

Rick nodded slowly, and rose from his seat.

"Better get dinner started" He sighed, walking to the fridge.


	53. Chapter 53

Eli strummed the guitar, feeling it vibrate between his hands- he closed his eyes and allowed the sound to wash over him.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd picked up his guitar and played a tune………what with all that had been happening………..he just didn't feel very motivated.

"There are so many reasons that I find to run to you

Cos there's so little loving in my life, now I am away

And thinking about it I want things back how they used to be

There is no way round it, nothing good comes easily

So much between us and we both know that it's wrong

So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong"

The words poured out of him so easily- he closed his eyes and the lyrics somehow surfaced to his tongue.

He hadn't even been thinking of a particular song, but once he strummed the guitar, his fingers found their way around the strings and the tune he was playing became apparent, and the words soon followed.

Eli opened his eyes and smiled, trying to remember how the next bar went, when he was interrupted by the echoing sound of the doorbell.

He remained still for a moment, waiting to hear his father's footsteps; but silence filled the house; and the doorbell rang again.

Eli suddenly remembered his father mumbling something about going down to the shops; and he knew Jessie wasn't going to budge from her room.

Eli sighed, placing his guitar next to him, he got up from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed- and gruffly opened his door, entering the house; he followed the sound of the ringing doorbell.

"Coming, coming!" He groaned.

He reached out and pulled the door open; having to restrain himself from slamming it shut again when he saw Ayden staring back at him.

"Hey" Ayden half smiled.

Eli couldn't find any words worth speaking, so he simply nodded his head in an awkward greeting.

"Is Grace home?" Ayden asked, creasing his brow slightly.

"No" Eli murmured, and adjusted his stance, leaning his body weight on the door, he stared, hard, at Ayden.

"Oh………well, do you know when she'll be home?" Ayden asked, and dug his hands deep into the pockets of his brown chord jacket.

"Err……….no……….she had to get her dress altered or something" Eli mumbled.

"Right……..well………do you mind if I wait for her………I really need to see her today"

Eli stared at him, stared at his black eyes with an intense hatred- and he wasn't even sure why.

If anything, Eli should be feeling guilty for hurting this guy so bad, for stealing his girl……….but he couldn't feel guilty, it was just easier to hate him.

"I don't know………" Eli started, eager to slam the door in Ayden's face.

"It's about this party she invited me to……..her step sisters?" Ayden replied quickly.

"Jessie" Eli supplied, in a hard tone.

"Yeah, there are a few things we need to sort out"

ELI here's an idea………why don't you just not come?

Eli looked down at his feet, and then looked back at Ayden.

He sighed and nodded his head once, "Ok, come in" he gave up, knowing Grace would never forgive him for turning Ayden away so rudely.

Ayden gave a small smile and stepped inside, Eli closing the door after him.

He stepped ahead of Ayden and led him into the lounge room, "You can sit down" he muttered, unsure of what else to say.

"Thanks, but I'll stand" Ayden replied, peeling off his jacket.

Eli stepped forward, taking the jacket out of Ayden's hand and draping it over the couch.

"So………" Ayden started slowly walking around the living room, examining the photo's that lined the fireplace shelf.

Eli watched him with narrowed eyes; watched closely as he picked up the framed photo of his father and Lily's wedding.

He guessed Ayden was admiring how beautiful Grace looked in the pink dress.

He placed the photo back down, and picked up one of Grace and Zoe when they were much younger- Zoe would have been 2, and Grace about 6 or 7- they were up at the snow, rugged up in matching snow gear- beanies pulled over their heads, too-big ski jackets that hid their necks. The two girls, in these inflated red and blue outfits surrounded by snow- standing side by side with snowballs in hand, smiling happily, their red noses visible

Ayden placed the photo down, and examined one of Eli and Jessie- when she was 7 and Eli was 14- they were sitting side by side, smiling happily.

"So, what do you and Grace need to discuss?" Eli suddenly snapped, annoyed as he watched Ayden pick up and examine photo after photo.

He turned around slowly, a sad smile pressed against his lips; "I don't think I should go to this party with her……but I just want to make sure there are no hard feelings" he sighed, and turned around again.

Eli half smiled, then cursed himself for being so damn cruel to this poor guy.

"Err yeah………I picked up on the fact that you guys had broken up?" he stammered, surprised that the lie came out so easily.

Ayden turned around again, and gave a small nod "Yeah" he said, simply.

"Sorry to hear it………do you mind if I ask why?"

"I think you should ask Grace if you really want to know" Came the reply- his words almost knocked Eli over.

"Sorry" he stammered, quickly.

Ayden turned again, sincerity masked his face-"No, it's ok……….err……...she didn't feel the same way for me as I did for her" he said, quietly.

Eli nodded, and felt guilt slowly begin to seep through his body.

"Sorry" was the only word he could manage.

"Actually………..she has feelings for someone else"

Eli almost fell over when Ayden allowed those words to escape- but he quickly put on a surprised expression, hoping Ayden was none the wiser.

Ayden didn't seem to notice anything, but remained silent and still.

"That really sucks" Eli finally announced.

Ayden stared at him brutally for a moment, as though he was about to pounce on him, fists flying.

Eli stared wide-eyed and then eventually broke a small smile when Ayden started laughing softly.

"You're telling me!" he said, through broken laughs.

Eli ran a hand through his messed hair, continuing to laugh slightly.

"Do you know who it is?" Eli asked, once his laughs died down.

Ayden shook his head, "I don't want to" he confirmed, Eli flashed him a questioning stare, and Ayden answered his curiosity.

"If I found out who it was………I don't know what I'd do to him……..so it's probably safer that I'm left in the dark"

ELI oh god

Suddenly, the front door pushed open, and voices invaded the silence between Eli and Ayden.

"You can't wear heels Zoe" Grace huffed.

"Neither can you!" came the snappy reply.

"I am 17 Zoe……..of course I can!"

"They don't suit you……..they look good on me!"

"You are so vain!"

"Mum! Grace called me a vein!" Zoe cried.

Lily's sigh could be heard, and the silence as the three women entered the living room, stopping dead in their tracks.

"Ooooohhhhhh………the ex" Zoe declared- and received a punch from Grace.

"Ayden?" Grace exclaimed, and then noticed Eli standing aswell.

"ELI?" she cried, a little more overwhelmingly.

"Hello Mrs Sammler" Ayden smiled, and Lily returned the gesture.

"C'mon Zoe………lets leave these two alone………" She said, pushing Zoe towards the kitchen.

"I better go…….." Eli fumbled his words, nodded at Ayden, and left the two in peace.

But as he walked by Grace, he flashed her a calming glance; reminding her that Ayden knew nothing.

She replied with the smallest of smiles.

"We need to talk" Eli heard Ayden begin as he walked into his bedroom; suddenly losing all motivation to play on his guitar again.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE

Song was BB Mac's 'miss you more'.


	54. Chapter 54

"Are you looking forward to tomorrow night?" Lily beamed across the table at Jessie, who was staring into her lasagna with a glazed over look in her eyes.

She didn't hear Lily's voice, only a soft, numbing murmur- she was so lost in her own thoughts. About the dreaded party tomorrow night………and, of course, Katie.

"Jess?" Lily repeated; this time, Grace who was sitting beside Jessie, just as quiet, nudged her stepsister.

Jessie's head snapped to the side and stared at Grace, who nodded towards her mother.

"Oh" Jessie said, turning to Lily "pardon?" she asked, in a small voice.

"The party Jess- are you excited about it?" Rick filled in for his wife; Lily smiled at Rick who sat at the opposite end of the table.

JESSIE thrilled (saturated in sarcasm)

Underneath the table, Jessie's feet tangled with each other as she thought through her words carefully- she could feel everyone's eyes on her, and she felt her shoulders shrink down as her own silence continued.

"I………I………." She stammered, feeling particularly Lily and her father's eyes burning into her.

"Geez mum, there hasn't been one night that you haven't mentioned this party!" Grace suddenly spat out, catching everyone, especially Jessie off guard.

JESSIE Thankyou

Lily's eyes narrowed on her daughter "Well excuse me for being excited on Jessie's behalf!" Lily retorted.

Jessie opened her mouth, but Grace cut in again- much to Jessie's relief. Grace allowed her fork, which had been suspended in her hand, to drop on her plate- the clanking sound echoing throughout the still dining room.

"Oh please- on Jessie's behalf?" Grace mimicked, "this entire party has been all about you…………Jessie had no say in any of it!" Grace found the words leaking out, uncontrollable.

Rick, Eli, Jessie and Zoe all cringed when they heard Grace's words- but remained silent, intent on hearing what she and Lily would say next.

Lily's hard face remained as she stared at her daughter, "that's enough Grace!" she said, sternly and quietly.

Grace opened her mouth, about to dig a bigger hole for herself- but she felt Jessie's hand rest on her arm, telling her to remain silent.

Grace looked around the table, at the stunned faces, and half eaten lasagna- she bowed her head slightly, and pushed her chair out, picking up her plate.

"I'm going to my room" she said, and left the dining room- with a long trail of silence behind her, the rest of the family looked at each other with shocked expression.

"Maybe things between her and Ayden didn't go well," Rick finally murmured, lifting his head to look at Lily, who was sitting perfectly still.

She nodded slowly, "Maybe" she agreed, not too convinced.

"I think she's going crazy" Zoe chimed in. Lily turned to her, creasing her brow in a warning, Zoe shoved some lasagna into her mouth.

"Eli, do you know what's going on?" Lily questioned, catching Eli off guard- who had also been in his own world- thinking about what was said between Grace and Ayden.

"You know Ayden well, don't you?" Lily saw the questioning look on his face when she spoke to him, and supplied the reason why she thought he might be a source of help "and, you and Grace are close" she added.

Eli flinched in his seat, and shot an awkward look towards Jessie- then quickly turned his eyes to Lily, shaking his head heavily "sorry".

Lily nodded, "that's ok".

"They didn't break up, did they?" Rick suddenly exclaimed.

Lily looked at him, her brow creased.

"They did" Eli supplemented, in a quiet, unsure voice. He didn't care if Grace didn't want Lily to know about her and Ayden, Eli couldn't bear to see her get in trouble, and fight with Lily.

"Why!" Lily exclaimed, "They were such a sweet couple"

Eli restrained from scoffing at that comment.

"They just want to be friends," Jessie said, quickly.

Lily nodded solemnly, "she must be upset," she mumbled, presuming Ayden was the one that called off their relationship.

"Mmmm" Eli murmured in agreement.

"I might go and speak with her," Lily said, pushing her chair out slightly.

"No!" Eli said, hastily "I'll go" he supplemented.

Lily nodded, "that might be best," she agreed.

Eli rose from his place at the table, and left the dining room.

Jessie sat, still in her seat- glad that all attention had been averted from her.

JESSIE of course it couldn't be that Grace's outburst was true……...oh no! Lily couldn't possibly be doing all this for herself………..(still sarcastic tone)

* * *

Eli walked down the stairs again, perplexed, he could hear the conversation had picked up in the dining room again, and they hadn't noticed his return- so he wandered into the kitchen- Grace wasn't there either.

He walked back to the hallway, and headed out the front door.

"Grace?" he whispered, looking out into the darkness of their front lawn.

"I'm here" Grace replied.

Eli squinted, and saw the blurry outline of her sitting body on the front step, he fumbled around for the porch light- flicking it on, and it provided a dull light. He stepped out of the house, closing the door behind him, and took a few steps towards her turned back.

"Can I sit?" he asked, quietly, looking down at her small body.

She nodded once, and he slowly took seat beside her, making sure to leave a small space between them.

He could smell her plate of lasagna that sat beside her, and could hear her small breaths, and the faint sound of noise coming from inside.

But apart from that- the night was still- streetlights lit the street outside their house, and clouds passed over the moon- taking away all natural light from the evening.

"Want to talk?" he asked, after the longest time.

Grace looked at him from the corner of her eye, "why did you come looking for me?" she asked.

Eli took a deep breath, "Lily thought you were acting strangely- so I told her that you and Ayden broke up, and she suspected that was why you chucked a fit at dinner" he answered her "she wanted me to make sure you were ok"

Grace turned her head towards him, her eyes stern; she stared at him for a moment.

"You told her that Ayden and I broke up?" she repeated.

Eli turned to her, and nodded, tentatively "Because he just wanted to be friends" he explained.

Grace continued to stare at him, "she thinks Ayden broke it off?" she asked.

Eli nodded silently.

Grace's stare continued, deeper and deeper- and Eli waited for her scorn- but it never came. She turned away, looking out at the illuminated street again.

"Thanks for covering for me" she muttered.

Eli was surprised that she didn't jump down his throat "your welcome" he finally said.

"Truth be told………….she was juts getting to me………..with the whole party thing, which is so obviously on her behalf" Grace mumbled.

Eli had a perplexed expression, which Grace studied when she turned to him; "Aunt Judy told me the entire story of my mums horrendous sweet 16………..she thinks mum is just trying to compensate for what she never had" Grace explained.

"Oh" Eli sighed.

"And………. I didn't want mum to put Jessie on the spot" Grace added.

Eli turned to her, "she didn't……….Jessie is looking forward to the party……….." Eli explained.

GRACE he can be so blind sometimes……….it's no mystery to me why he couldn't see the feelings I had for him all those years ago…………..he can be so blind!

Grace shook her head slowly, "I think you and Jessie need to sit down and have a long talk………." Grace sighed.

"I thought she really wanted this………." Eli couldn't understand; all the girls he went to school with had thrown sweet sixteen's, it was the done thing when he was in school, and the parties were always huge events. Why wouldn't his sister want one?

Grace shook her head slowly, and reached her hand over to Eli's leg, patting it softly; it wasn't her place to tell him all of Jessie's secrets; she knew that Eli and her were close; Grace could only imagine how it was eating away at Jessie to not tell her big brother the truth about her sexuality; and the girl she loved.

But Grace knew that Jessie wasn't ready, she could sympathize with her; and knew she would tell Eli in her own time, when it felt right.

GRACE hopefully, when he knows all her truths; they will be as close as they once were………….or maybe they will drift further apart?

Eli looked away, he didn't come looking for Grace to talk about Jessie, but before he had even strung a sentence together; Grace spoke his question.

"You want to know what Ayden said, don't you?" she asked, veering the subject; afraid Eli might try and pry into what Grace knew about Jessie.

He nodded, still looking away from her.

ELI desperately!

"He said………….he didn't think he could make it to Jessie's party tomorrow……………" she whispered.

"Oh" Eli replied, expecting that was the case.

"So I suppose that's it…………" she added, and Eli turned to her, his eyes questioning her words.

Grace read them, and knew what Eli was thinking; "its as though he's cutting me off forever………….. I thought, him coming tomorrow night, might change things. I might have a chance to sit down and explain everything to him, gently and thoroughly. But he's cut me off completely now………..and I can't say I blame him!" she sighed.

Eli saw the hurt in her eyes, he reached up and brushed a strand of hair from her face; she flinched slightly, and he pulled away.

"I'll be your date…………if you want" he murmured.

Grace stared into his eyes, examining the tinge of green in them; she gave a far-off smile- but didn't say anything as she rose to her feet, just continued to smile.

She reached her hand down to him, and Eli took it as she pulled him to his feet, he followed her inside.

ELI she can be so…………

Eli waited for her to say something, but she didn't, she released his hand when they entered the house- and they both walked back into the living room, silently.

ELI mysterious.


	55. Chapter 55

JESSIE sometimes I don't know who I am.

Jessie rolled over onto her side and stared at the alarm clock that read 6:35.

JESSIE and just when I think I have myself figured out……….I go and change………..and I'm back to not knowing myself again………..

She sighed and closed her eyes tightly, urging herself into sleep again. But it was no good, her eyes refused to stay closed for long, and when she opened them again the clock staring back at her read 6:37.

JESSIE that's the scariest place to be……….because knowing who you are on the inside is what keeps you sane from those on the outside who only think they know who you are but really don't have a clue……….they only see you as they want to see you……….as much as they can handle.

She reminded herself again and again that her party started at 8:30 PM, and that she had the entire day to prepare for it………..she reminded herself of this over and over again as she stared at the alarm clock and watched the numbers change……….she reminded herself again and again that Katie wouldn't be there……….and she felt her eyes sting.

JESSIE I thought I was an average girl……….with a mother and father who loved each other, and an annoying older brother who would, once in a while, show his human side………. I liked wearing my hair in pigtails, the colour red, listening to Hanson………..and then my parents got divorced and I didn't have parents that loved each other anymore, my dad met someone new and suddenly I didn't just have a brother- I had two stepsisters aswell………. I started high school and wearing you're hair in pigtails isn't cool anymore, and neither is listening to Hanson……….and then………….I stopped eating……….and suddenly I wasn't normal………….I was sick………..

She pulled her arm out from beneath the warm blankets, and brushed away the hot tears that were falling on her pillow.

JESSIE and then just as I'm getting better………..my mother is almost killed!………..and my entire world is turned upside down in the worst possible way………..again!

She sniffled for a moment; unable to read the time now through her blurred eyes, she adjusted her body and peered down at the dresser by the end of her bed, where her red silk dress was hanging. But looking at it, limply draped over the dresser, made her cry more, and think about the party………..and how Katie wouldn't be there.

JESSIE then, just when my mum starts to get better, and I think my life is going to stay put for a little while…………..I go and fall in love with a girl.

She didn't try swiping away the tears, she allowed them to stain her pillow………small, black stains……….she didn't care………all she cared about was Katie……….and how she wouldn't be there tonight……….how she might never be in Jessie's life ever again!

JESSIE (smiling) I fell in love with a beautiful, hilarious, kind, gentle, stunning girl………….and I don't think I was so scared about the falling for a girl part, because I think I've always been that way………. I was scared because for once, I liked the person I had become………..even though this change in me was earth shattering in the best possible way………. I like the way I am because of it………..because of her………..and now all that scares me is………..losing this person that changed me in the best possible way………….it scares me more than not having parents who love each other, or becoming anorexic, or having new sisters…………..because when I'm with her I know who I am………and without her, I don't know anymore!

* * *

"Smile!"

An intense light, flashed in Grace's face- and her eyes burst open, to find her mother staring down at her, camera poised in her hand.

"Wh………what?" Grace mumbled, confused and angry, she rolled onto her side and pulled the covers over her head.

"What are you doing……….crazy woman!" she mumbled from beneath the blankets.

"I'm going to make a collage of photo's………" Lily replied, happily.

"What? Why?"

"Of Jessie's party………right now I'm doing the before of the before and after……….I'm getting everyone as they woke up on the morning of Jessie's sweet sixteen………."

Grace couldn't see her, but she guessed her mother was grinning like an idiot.

"Mum………have I told you lately that you are severely un-hinged!" even through the thick covers, the annoyance and sharpness in Grace's tone was clear.

"Alright, alright………I'll go and take some happy snaps of Zoe and Eli………then I'm done!" Lily beamed, and slowly crept out of Grace's room.

"I'll find you during the day……….when you have you're face on………to get some more photo's!" Lily whispered, as she closed the door, and Grace groaned.

"SEVERLY UN-HINGED!" Grace screamed to her closed door- but Lily still heard her.

* * *

"Smile!"

Eli closed his eyes, and tried raising his hand to block his face- but Lily still caught him, she lowered the camera and smiled goofily.

"Enough of the snapping, please!………." He mumbled, walking past her to the breakfast table.

"You got a candid of me just as I was waking up……….with bed hair and black bags under my eyes……….isn't that enough of an embarrassing shot for the collage!" he grumbled, plonking his bowl of cornflakes down.

"Oh come on E! It's for you're sisters sweet sixteen collage!" Lily smiled.

"My what?"

Lily spun around, and Eli lifted his head weakly as Jessie stood in the doorway, looking at Lily curiously.

"Oh………err……….nothing……….nothing at all………..want some breakfast?" She smiled nervously, and tucked the camera behind her back.

Jessie looked to Eli, who shook his head, and gave her a don't-even-ask look.

She nodded and headed towards him.

"Jessie!" Lily suddenly yelped- and Jessie looked up, only to be confronted with a bright flash.

She rubbed her sleep filled eyes and looked accusingly at Lily, "what………?" she began to ask, but Lily bolted out of the kitchen before she could say more.

"I really don't want to know?" She asked her brother as she sat down opposite him, and picked a cornflake from his bowl, popping it into her mouth.

"Definitely not!" he replied, grumpily.

Jessie nodded, and turned her head to the phone that sat at the bench, "any calls for me yet?" she asked- secretly praying that Katie had rung, to give her a happy birthday message.

"No- but Grandma will no doubt call any minute now………and mum will be over here with Henry before 9:00………."

Jessie nodded slowly, "but no-one has called………none of my friends?" she asked, slowly.

Eli shook his head, and stared into his cornflakes.

"Oh" Jessie sighed, and Eli lifted his head to look at her, noticing the redness of her eyes.

"You ok?" he asked, softly.

Jessie blinked, and stared at her brother for a moment- suddenly feeling words nestling on the tip of her tongue………

JESSIE I love Katie!

She blinked again, and found that the words were still there- pressing against her mouth, trying to escape.

"Jess?" he prompted.

She swallowed the words down, and managed a small smile, "fine" she mumbled.

Eli spooned in the last of his cornflakes and got up from his chair, looking down at his sister.

ELI she's so fragile………..always has been……….I used to joke with her when she was little, and say that a gust of wind would blow her all the way to China………..she'd get all panicked and beg mum to buy her a map of the world that she could fit in her pocket incase it ever did happen, so she'd be able to find her way home.

"You sure?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, quizzically.

ELI but you know………she is still fragile……….still my baby sister that could get blown all the way to China………..

She looked up, and had to swallow down those menacing words again; she gave a small nod, and managed to stretch her smile a bit.

Eli smiled, and walked towards the sink, putting his plate down, he headed towards the door, but turned and looked over at Jessie again.

Her small body slumped in the chair, wearing her red fluffy nightgown, her golden hair in a tattered mess- he gave a small smile.

"Oh, and Jess, before I forget………"

Jessie turned and looked at her brother.

"Happy birthday" he smiled at her, a broad, goofy smile- that she reflected.

"Thanks"

ELI ………but I think she'd be able to find her way home now, without a map!


	56. Chapter 56

Grace peered out her window- all she could see was a white sheet covering over her small backyard; it looked as though a heavy snow storm had just blown in and covered everything………but it was only a stretched white canvas type sheet, with four poles at either corner, and a few more inside the tent to hold it up, an exact replica of the tent her mother had built for her wedding to Rick.

Grace gave a faint smile, as she saw small, flickering lights come alive inside the tent- staining the white canvas with a yellow circle, and as more candles were lit by her mother and Aunt Judy, who were under the tent, more yellow circles spread across the canvas.

Light was slowly fading in the sky, and darkness was surely falling; there was a warm wisp of wind in the air, but not much else……… The night would be cool, but not too cold, just comfortable enough to dance until late hours without getting hot and bothered.

Grace's smiled grew as she turned away from the window and caught a glimpse of herself in her bedroom mirror- her dress was mint coloured, and was a two piece with scattered beaded flowers on the corset top.

The skirt fanned out slightly, but not very much, and the material bunched neatly to one side, lifting it up slightly; it settled nicely against her stomach, and hugged her hips in all the right places.

She picked up her white lace shawl that was hanging on the back of her chair; draping it over her shoulders- it gave the dress a perfect finish.

She turned around, and examined the back, her bare shoulders visible through the light shawl- she smiled, and turned face on again, examining her hair, which she had curled, and fell nicely across her shoulders- she was glad she'd aloud it to grow longer.

She wore little make up, only mascara, a smudge of blush and soft pink lipstick. Perfect.

* * *

Jessie sat, hunched at the edge of her bed- refusing to look at herself in the mirror where her reflection was screaming back at her.

She no longer liked the colour of the blood red dress, thinking it was too gaudy and inappropriate. She didn't even like the silk material anymore- it was too cold to wear such a light fabric, and it rubbed against her inner thighs when she walked.

She thought the dress was too slinky, and she didn't like how it fell straight down her gawky, thin body- it showed that she had no boobs, and a straight-down pencil figure, with no curvaceous hips.

And she wished it wasn't strapless- revealing her skeletal upper body- her bones poking out so obviously, and ugly.

She sighed, and, against her will, lifted her head and stared at herself, hunched over with a deep frown.

Her hair was clipped in a bun with one of Grace's silver barrerts, and she had no make-up on, and no intention of wearing any- even though her eyes were red and puffy from the secret crying she'd been doing over the course of the day, she didn't care how she looked.

She wasn't trying to impress anyone.

She stood up, awkwardly, as she hadn't quite mastered how to walk in her high heels.

It was 7:30, people would be arriving anytime now………..her mother and Henry were downstairs, helping to prepare the food; Lily, Judy and Rick were putting the final touches inside the tent; Eli and his band mates (Josh and Lucas) were getting their gear set up. And Grace and Zoe were doing the same as Jessie- getting ready.

Everyone would be here soon…………..except for the one person that really matters.

Jessie turned and glanced at her phone, sitting on the table beside her bed.

Without even realizing it, she'd moved towards her bedside table, picked her phone up, and started dialling that number she knew off by heart.

"Hello?"

Katie's voice shocked her; she had never expected her to answer. And she sounded about as bad as Jessie felt- her voice was low and strained- as though she'd just been crying.

"Hello?" Katie asked again.

"Katie- It's me……….Jessie………..please don't hang up, and don't say anything………..just listen…………."

Silence proceeded Jessie's voice- she took that as a good sign.

"Look I'm sorry for hurting you………..for snapping at you when you just wanted me to be ok……….for being mad at you for knowing me so well…………but most of all I'm sorry for keeping you………..us……….a secret."

More silence- this was going well.

"You were right, I wasn't just upset about this birthday party that I don't want…………. I was upset because the people, who should know me best, don't………..because you're a part of me, and if they don't know about you, then they don't really know who I am………. Is this making sense?"

Jessie waited for an answer, and received a small, understanding mumble.

"Well, I am scared to tell them, and I'm not even sure why……….because I am so sure of how I feel about you, and that should give me the strength to pour the truth out to them, the truth about me, about us……….but I cant………and I don't know why………….because I desperately want to……….. I want my family to look at me the way you look at me……….."

Katie interrupted, "how?" she asked, and Jessie had to think for a moment.

When she opened her mouth again, she felt herself choke up, and she had to swallow back tears.

"Like they know me completely and totally………without me even having to say anything……….that's how you look at me……….just one look and you know my inner most thoughts and secrets……….and I love that……….. I love you………..and……….." she swallowed back those tears again before continuing.

"………and………..I want to see you………..I want to see you look at me that way……….that look that tells me everything is going to be ok because there's someone in this world who knows me, completely and totally……… I want you to not be mad at me anymore………..I want to kiss you, and run my hands through you're hair……….I just want to hold you………….but most of all……….I want to tell my family all of this……….just so they know……….." she swallowed again, and took a deep breath, "I want them to know how much you mean to me and how much I love you, completely and truly!"

Now, her tears started pouring out; she'd spoken the very words that had been pressing so hard against her heart.

And the only sound that came back was silence.

"Katie?" Jessie sniffed, taking small gulps in between tears.

"Mmm?" came the low murmur, signalling that she was still there, still listening.

"Did you hear me? I love you! And I want my family to know it!" Jessie blurted the words out hurriedly- desperate for Katie to hear her "I want the entire world to know it!" she added, quickly.

Silence continued to engulf Jessie, and finally, Katie spoke.

"I……….." she stopped for a moment, collecting herself; "I………just don't know if that's enough………." She mumbled.

Jessie stood, holding the phone to her ear, unable to say anything.

Those words had crushed her; in the hardest way; and their silence went on for what seemed like decades; choking both of them.

"Goodbye" Katie finally ended; and hung up.

JESSIE and………the saddest part is………it's my birthday………the birthday I don't even want………..

* * *

"You boys eating before the guests arrive?" Karen asked her son as he and two other young men; one with red curly hair and a freckly, white face, and the other with longish dusty blonde hair and tanned skin; walked into Lily's kitchen.

Eli looked up at his mother, who sat beside Henry at the kitchen bench, both with wine glasses in hand.

"Yep" he said, simply, and nodded with his head towards the finger food that was already set up- Josh, the red haired one, and Lucas, with blonde hair; greedily started picking up and stuffing the food into their mouths.

Henry and Karen exchanged an oh-how-charming look.

Eli, was the only one decked out in a suit- the other two were wearing baggy jeans and black shirts, half tucked into the jeans- and dark red neckties. It was all Eli could convince them to wear for his sister's formal party- they flat out refused to wear 'those goddam penguin suits'- as Lucas so diligently put it.

"Where's Jess?" Eli asked his mother, before she could open her mouth and remind Eli's band mates of their manners- completely embarrassing him.

"Upstairs, getting ready………where else?" she smiled.

Eli rolled his eyes and sighed, "Go figure………chicks take forever to get ready………"

"Tell me about it" Henry mumbled, lifting his wine glass to his lips.

Karen playfully shoved him in the side, "I was only an hour," she said, defensively.

Henry raised an eyebrow at Eli, and he smiled; "you got ready at 6:00 dear………" he replied, matter of factly.

Eli laughed, but decided to leave the room before his mother and Henry got into one of those lovey-dovey play fight things that ended with them kissing each other's noses.

"I'll go check on everyone," he said, exiting the kitchen- and by everyone, he meant Grace.

He needn't go far though, because as he approached the stairs, Grace was walking down.

He looked up- and had to remind himself to breath when he got a good look at her- a hip hugging, two piece mint dress, her hair curled and scattering across her shoulders, her chocolate eyes roamed his face; and smiled when they took in his full 'wowed' expression.

"Hey" she smiled, easily, standing infront of him at the last step.

"Hey" Eli replied- trying to remain calm even though his pulse was racing.

They stood like that for a moment, exploring each other's expression, and smiling easily.

"You look………." Eli searched for words, but when his brain wouldn't seem to function normally, he settled for an exasperated "wow", which made Grace giggle, and blush slightly.

"You don't look too bad yourself" she replied, looking him up and down- in his slick black suit, she reminded herself to breath.

They stood for a moment longer- forgetting to be awkward as they gaped at each another.

Finally, Grace averted her eyes and laughed, embarrassed as Eli stared into her face so intently- he snapped out of his trance, and held out his hand-, which Grace gladly took.

She took the last step, and stood beside him; "still wannabe my date?" she asked, in a small voice.

Eli looked down at her, and smiled, "definitely" he replied, confidently.

Just as they approached the kitchen, a blinding light flashed in their faces, and they had to squint their eyes.

"That'll turn out nicely!" Lily smiled back at them.

Eli and Grace laughed, but realised their hands as they walked out into the back yard.

Let the party begin!


	57. Chapter 57

Grace's body gently swayed as she stood beside the drinks table, watching intently as Eli unthinkingly played the strings on his guitar, and leaned into the microphone- his low, husky voice bellowing out into the small tent that was filled with about 40 people, Jessie's friends, who were dancing; some separately, others with partners- dancing to Eli's song.

**_Been running from this feeling for so long_**

**_Telling my heart I didn't need it_**

**_Pretending I was better off alone_**

**_But I know that it's just a lie_**

**_So afraid to take a chance again_**

**_So afraid of what I feel inside_**

**_But I need to be next to you_**

**_Oh I, oh I_**

**_I need to share every breath of you_**

**_Oh I, oh I_**

**_I need to know I can see you smile each morning_**

**_Look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life_**

**_Here with you, near with you, oh I_**

**_I need to be next to you_**

**_Need to be next to you_**

**_Right here with you is right where I belong_**

**_I'll lose my mind if I can't see you_**

**_Without you there's nothing in this life_**

**_That would make life worth living for_**

**_I can't bear the thought of you not here_**

**_I can't fight what I feel any more_**

**_Cause I need to be next to you_**

**_Oh I, oh I_**

**_I need to share every breath of you_**

**_Oh I, oh I_**

**_I need to know I can see you smile this morning_**

**_Look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life_**

**_Here with you, near with you, oh I_**

**_I need to be next to you_**

**_I need to have your arms next to mine for all the time_**

**_Holding for all my life_**

**_I need to be next to you_**

**_I need to be next to you_**

**_Oh I, oh I_**

**_Need to be, need to be next to you_**

**_Share every breath of you_**

**_I need to feel you in my arms, baby, in my arms baby_**

**_I need to be next to you_**

The song ended, and a few claps went towards the band- but Eli's attention veered towards Grace, he looked to where she'd been standing for the last two songs, and was relieved to find her still there, a sweet smile still on her lips.

"We're going to take a quick break" Lucas spoke into the mike, and nodded towards Eli, who agreed, and rested his guitar against one of the speakers.

He walked towards Grace, and the two smiled awkwardly as he stood before her- "you guys are amazing" she beamed.

Eli felt his cheeks turn slightly red, "thanks" he mumbled.

Grace smiled and looked around the tent, Rick quickly put on another c.d before the guests got restless.

Grace was actually surprised that everyone had turned up in formal gear- although she noticed a few of the guys fidgeting in their slick suits, clearly uncomfortable in the restricting clothing- the girls seemed to indulge in the excuse to get dressed up- and had really gone full out.

The only guests who hadn't dressed for the occasion were Eli's band mates, but she could understand that wearing suits wasn't really a 'hard rockers' thing though- she was glad Eli had made the effort.

New music lifted over the guests, and people paired again, swaying as a slow song came on.

Grace listened to the tune for a moment, and Eli noticed her eyes dance as she recognized the song as one of her favourites.

"Would you?………" he mumbled, running a hand nervously through his hair.

Grace turned to him, and raised an eyebrow questioningly, "pardon?" she asked.

"Would you……….like to dance..………..?" Eli finally managed, though a little shaky.

Grace smiled warmly, but veered her eyes to the ground; Eli felt her hesitation.

He reached out and took her hand, "just one dance" he urged, gently pulling her onto the dance floor, in amongst the crowd of other couples.

"No one will suspect a thing………only that we were both feeling lonely………and felt like dancing……….that is generally what you do at these things………" he assured her as he stopped walking, after finding a space, hidden amongst bodies of people; he turned to her, and gave a sincere smile.

Grace gave a sigh, and allowed her body to press up against his, leaning her head on his left shoulder, she brought her right hand to entwine with his, and slowly, they started swaying.

_**Don't stray**_

_**Don't ever go away**_

_**I should be much to smart for this**_

Grace closed her eyes as the rhythm of the song engulfed her- and she drowned in the lyrics- and melted into Eli's body.

His strong arms made her feel safe, at ease………..made her feel……….found.

GRACE I didn't even know I'd been lost

**_You know it gets the better_**

**_Of me sometimes_**

**_When you and I collide_**

Eli leaned his head down slightly, and took in Grace's smell- the soft scent of lavender- it was probably just the shampoo she used……….but it was intoxicating……….it was Grace.

ELI and for the rest of my life it will remind me of her.

_**I fall into an ocean of you**_

_**Pull me out in time**_

_**Don't let me drown**_

"This feels good" Grace murmured- without even realising words had escaped her lips. She nuzzled her head against Eli's hard chest, breathing in the smell of his musty cologne, and sweat. She gave a small smile.

**_Let me down_**

**_I say it's all because of you and here I go_**

**_Losing my control_**

Eli looked around the room- everyone was distracted, and nobody noticed as he danced with his step sister- as they fit into each other, like pieces of a puzzle, so easily and perfectly, nobody noticed- and it did feel good.

"I could do this all night," he murmured.

**_I'm practising your name_**

**_So I can say it to your face it doesn't seem right_**

**_To look you in the eye_**

**_And let all the things you mean to me_**

**_Come tumbling out my mouth indeed its time_**

"I wish we could" Grace agreed- and opened her eyes- realizing what she'd just said.

_**Tell you why**_

_**I say its infinitely true**_

_**Say you'll stay**_

_**Don't come and go**_

_**Like you do**_

_**Sway my way**_

_**Yeah I need to know**_

_**All about you**_

Eli felt her body tense in his arms, and he looked down at her, "Just stay like this for a little while longer……….." he pleaded, not willing to let go yet.

**_And there's no cure_**

**_And no way to be sure_**

**_Why everything's turned inside out_**

**_Instilling so much doubt_**

Grace hesitated, but allowed her body to ease again, "ok………just this song" she agreed, closing her eyes again.

**_It makes me so tired_**

**_I feel so uninspired   
My head is battling with my heart_**

**_My logic has been torn apart_**

"I'm sorry," she murmured, after a moment.

"For what?" Eli replied.

"Leading you on……….." she whispered back, burying her head into his chest again.

Eli let out a small laugh, and Grace felt his chest heave up and down- she smiled at the rhythm "Oh………maybe I'm just a sucker for pain………."

_**And now**_

_**It all turns sour**_

_**Come sweeten**_

_**Every afternoon**_

"Don't you ever get sick of all this though………all the pain?" she asked.

Eli was silent for a moment, thinking through his answer; "maybe……….after all the obstacles, challenges, boundaries we have to run through and break……….we'll come out of this………..and everything will be perfect………..and it'll all be worth it………..when………if……….we are together" he replied, clumsily.

**_Say you'll stay_**

**_Don't come and go_**

**_Like you do_**

**_Sway my way_**

**_Yeah I need to know_**

**_All about you_**

**_Say you'll stay_**

**_Don't come and go_**

**_Like you do_**

**_Sway my way_**

**_Yeah I need to know_**

**_All about you_**

**_Its all because of you_**

**_Its all because of you_**

The song ended, and Grace was forced to break away from Eli.

She looked up at him, her chocolate eyes roaming his face- "I hope so" she said, softly.

Eli gave a small smile- which Grace returned- she also, leaned in slightly, as though she was about to kiss him.

Her lips opened, and a small murmur came out, like she was about to say something, but stopped herself.

They stared at each other for a moment, Eli, wondering what Grace was about to do and say- and Grace trying to stop herself from doing or saying anything.

Before Eli could ask, she turned, and walked through the mass of people, and was gone.

"Eli!"

Someone shouted out, from the stage- and he knew it was Lucas.

Eli was forced to walk the opposite direction, through the crowd- left wondering what there was to say.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

this is the first part to the party- there will be another one or two, continuing on from this one.

So, stay tuned- it doesn't end here!

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews.

The two songs were Leigh Nash 'to be next to you'

And Big Runga 'sway'.


	58. Chapter 58

It was 9:40; and Jessie had decided that she'd done enough of the 'hostess' routine, and needed a break from her party.

From her life.

And while she couldn't exactly put the latter of the two on hold, she decided to break away from the festivities by creeping around to the side of the house, that was boxed in by two wooden gates; it was just a bare grass strip, with one old fern creeping up the fence adjacent to their next door neighbours- there was one large plastic box that had stored her father's put-it-together-yourself shelf, that had been shoved away- she used it as a seat.

She could hear the music bellowing out- they were singing a foo fighters song at the moment- and Jessie could hear the laughter and loud dancing steps.

She was glad to be away from it all.

JESSIE I just wish there was a rewind button, so I could go all the way back to where this started………..when I started to turn into the person I am now………….

She'd politely smiled, and hugged her friends as they arrived- though some of them were only on the list to lift the number of people- she thanked them for their presents and assured them she'd open them all up later on in the evening.

She walked around the dance floor, smiling and waving to those who acknowledged her- but it seemed everyone was too engulfed in the music, dancing, food and outfits to care about her anymore………and no one noticed the sad, far-off look in her eyes………..no one even commented on Katie's absence………..even though she was Jessie's better half, and one was hardly ever seen without the other……….no one asked Jessie where Katie was, or if she'd be arriving later on.

And Jessie was partly grateful that she didn't have to drag the story out of her mouth again and again- but she was also saddened………….Katie had changed her whole life……….she was her whole life……….and because she so desperately wanted to keep that a secret………..no one knew how much she meant to her……….and how much it hurt to not have her there.

JESSIE was it when my parents got divorced? When I stopped eating? When Lily, Zoe and Grace came into my life………….?

Jessie sighed, and ran her hands over her red silk skirt- smoothing it out.

She wanted to cry- but stopped herself when she heard the wooden gate creak open.

Jessie sat bolt-up right, but relaxed when Grace walked closer, and the moon's light showed her face.

"Its you?" Jessie commented, relaxing her body.

Grace nodded "its me", she gestured towards the box Jessie was sitting on, and Jessie moved over, allowing Grace to take a seat beside her.

"Why are you………….?" Jessie started.

"I needed to get away………..from what could have been an awkward situation………… I didn't know anyone was going to be here" Grace sighed, tucking a ringlet curl behind her ear.

Jessie nodded, "I'm guessing this was another 'Eli' situation?" she asked, softly.

Grace nodded, and looked down at her mint skirt- she smoothed it out with a shaky hand.

"What made it an awkward situation?" Jessie proceeded.

Grace let out another heavy sigh, "we danced………..it was perfect…………." She turned to Jessie and gave a small smile, "he smelt really good……….." Jessie laughed; "and……….I was almost going to say something that I couldn't possible say because it would make things worse than they already are………." She ended, on a heavy note.

"What were you going to say to him?" Jessie asked.

"Ah no………..if I tell you then it will be out there……….in the open……….and for now, this is something that I need to keep close by………"

"I know how that feels!" Jessie exclaimed.

Grace turned to her, with a raised eyebrow; "care to share?" she asked, lightly.

Jessie turned away, not willing to talk to Grace, of all people, about her problems. But something crawled up her throat- and the words, against her will- came tumbling out- and she couldn't rescue them.

"I love Katie"

Grace turned her body slightly towards Jessie, "I know you do"

Jessie glanced at Grace with an astonished look on her face, "you do?" she asked.

Grace smiled, and gave a small nod; "it's completely obvious!"

Jessie allowed her shoulders to slump, "then again……….you knew before I did how I felt about Katie, didn't you?"

Grace gave a mischievous smile, "maybe" she replied, whimsically.

"I was holding that so close to me……….my love for Katie……….I didn't want anyone to know about it……….especially not my family………..and all the while, you knew!" she sighed.

Grace placed her hand gently on Jessie's shoulder, "I have learned not to worry about love; but to honour its coming with all my heart" Grace said, in a gentle whisper.

Jessie turned to her, "where did that come from?" she asked, amazed.

Grace gave a light laugh, "Alice Walker said it………she was a womanist writer". Jessie smiled, but turned away again.

"Don't you think it's completely true though?" Grace pursued; "you shouldn't worry about the strings attached to love, or what other may think of you for loving someone………you should just accept it………welcome it…………"

JESSIE I know my life changed for the better when I met Katie……….our meeting is the one thing I would never erase from my life……….not for anything!

Jessie turned to Grace, and without saying anything, flung her arms around her, in a tight embrace.

"Wo!" Grace exclaimed, returning the hug.

Jessie pulled away and smiled- Grace was surprised to see tears roaming down her cheeks.

JESSIE and I wouldn't erase that conversation with Grace either………never ever!

Jessie stood up, and looked towards where the party was- bright lights, laughter, music………..she wanted to step back into that atmosphere.

"Thanks Grace" she said, looking down at her- and Grace smiled.

"You've been saving me a lot lately………it's becoming a habit!" she added, and Grace laughed- watching as Jessie walked towards the gate, but before she opened it, she turned around.

"Maybe you should take some of your own advice………..don't worry about the strings that are attached to love………..just accept it" she said, and opened the gate- walking back out to the party.

Grace looked down at her quivering hands, and then back to the closed gate, "I have" she whispered, and raised her hand to her cheek, swiping at a fresh tear.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE

the party theme isn't over yet- it might continue on for the next 3 or so chapters, I don't know, just bare with me (I'm on a roll, and loving it!)


	59. Chapter 59

"Honey!" Lily grabbed Rick's arm- and he knew there was no escape.

"Yes?" He asked, slightly flustered.

Lily smiled up at him, and raised the camera to her eye- Rick was forced to pose, yet another cheesy smile plastering his face- the light flashed in his eyes, and the smile faded.

"How much film have you gone through already?" he asked, in a flat tone.

Lily giggled happily, "three………or four………..I lost count two hours ago!" she beamed.

"And how many glasses of champagne have you had!" He questioned, peering into her glazed eyes.

"One or two………or five" she replied, giddily.

"Oh ok……..." Rick nodded, taking her hand, and leading her towards Judy, who was standing by the drinks table.

"Dink Nazi!" Rick exclaimed, approaching her. Judy had been assigned to the drinks table, where the champagne was- the only alcoholic drink they had at the party. She had to watch how much all the kids were drinking………and she took the job quite seriously………..not afraid to rough handle anyone that was going for their second glass!

Judy smiled, but raised her eyebrow when she looked into her sister's face- she had a flighty expression painted on.

"Could you please take care of Lily………she's a bit tipsy……….and I don't want her to embarrass herself" he put his arm around Lily's waist, and nudged her forward to Judy- who took her hand.

Rick leaned in, "and confiscate that damn camera……….destroy whatever film is on there!" he whispered.

"Gladly! She got a terrible photo of me stuffing me face with finger good………..!" Judy smiled and walked Lily inside the house "take care of the party scene!" she said to Rick, over her shoulder- he nodded, and crossed his arms sternly, taking up the new post at the drinks table.

"Is that you're first drink?" he asked a young man who approached the table…………..

* * *

"Come on Lil, just one cup of coffee and then you can go back to the party!" Judy urged, passing Lily a hot mug.

"I am fine Judy……….honestly!" Lily smiled at her sister, passing the mug back to her.

Judy sighed, and, now wanting the hot coffee to go to waste; lifted it to her own lips, taking small sips.

"It is a great party, isn't it?" Lily asked her sister, turning to look out the kitchen window, at the crowd of people dancing.

Judy nodded, "it's amazing………every sixteen-year-olds dream" she replied, then, as she lifted the mug to her mouth again she muttered "and one forty-year olds".

Lily's head turned to her sister, eyes narrowed; "excuse me?" she asked- Judy's snipe comment had not gone un-heard.

Judy took a long sip of coffee, and then connected innocent eyes with her sister; "what?" she asked, defensively.

Lily's eyebrow rose, and her eyes peered deeper into Judy's, slowly as the silence passed by; she broke down her sister's defence.

Judy placed the mug on the table, and ran a hand through her hair; "Lily……….this isn't Jessie's party………….it's yours!" she finally released the words.

"I've told you before Judy………this is all for Jess, not me!"

"I know……….and I know that's what you think this is………..but somewhere in you're subconscious you're trying to have the sweet sixteen that you were denied!"

Lily gasped, "Judy I can't believe your pursuing this!" she looked hard into her sister's eyes.

Judy put her hand on Lily's shoulder comfortingly, "honey, it's not your fault…………..you don't even realize what your doing…………." She said, soothingly.

Lily's eyes remained cold as stone as she stared into Judy's- but, by her sister's touch, they softened, and she turned away.

"I don't believe dad melted the ice sculpture………." She whispered.

Judy smiled, and as she stared at her sister's face, she began to laugh, softly at first, and then louder.

"Oh, shut up!" Lily hissed, refusing to look at her sister's laughing face.

"That yellow flamingo dress I wore……….." Judy managed, through broken giggles.

Lily broke into the smallest of smiles.

"Why did I have to get my period the night before………..?" Lily asked, more herself- but the question only fuelled Judy's laughter.

"Those red puffy eyes……….."Judy managed again, her laughter becoming hard.

Lily's smile grew a little wider……….and in a matter of seconds; her stomach was aching from laughter.

The two sisters reached out for one another, needing something to balance their shaking bodies- they laughed hard for what seemed like a decade, until it slowly died down to a giggle, and then soft sighs as they swiped at tears that had formed in the corners of their eyes.

"I think your right………..I was trying to act 16 again………." Lily sighed, as she wiped at the last tear, and tried fixing up the mascara that had formed under her eye.

Judy helped her, lightly brushing away the black with her index finger- "no sweety……….you just wanted what you never had……….and that's perfectly understandable!" she soothed.

"No, it was selfish, and juvenile and………….." Lily gasped, mortified.

"What!" Judy asked, staring into her sister's shocked face.

"Jessie……….oh poor Jessie……….did she want any of this………..oh what have I done!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, even if she didn't want a big party…………she's got one………..and she'll just have to survive tonight" Judy tucked a loose piece of hair behind her sister's ear "the party isn't that bad……….she'll be fine!"

Judy nodded, and wrapped an arm around her sister's waist, both women heading towards the back door, to return to the party.

"Excuse me"

They both turned around, to find a tall brunette wearing a dark blue slinky dress staring at them. Her eyes were big, and she smiled nervously.

"Sorry, I let myself in……….I heard you laughing………. I guess that's why you didn't hear me knock…………." She mumbled.

"Oh, sorry………….your here for the party obviously?" Lily asked, smiling warmly.

The girl nodded, "my name's Katie………..I'm Jessie's friend" she stammered, "Sorry I'm late".

Lily smiled, "Oh Katie!" she said in recognition, "come this way"- she said, leading her out the back door.


	60. Chapter 60

"Great party Jess!"

"Loving the bubbly!"

"Is that you're brother's band?……….they're awesome!"

"That dress is gorgeous!"

Jessie smiled as more compliments came her way while she walked around the edge of the dance floor, looking at the masses of dancing bodies.

She felt her cheeks blush, but couldn't help herself from smiling wider and wider.

She supposed someone had signalled to the guests that the cake would be coming out soon, and now they all thought they should throw some compliments at the party girl- after all, they were here for Jessie.

She looked towards the front of the stage, where Eli's band were belting out a matchbox 20 song.

Her brother caught her eye, and poked his tongue out at her while he strummed his guitar- then leaned into the mike, yelling out more song lyrics in his deep voice.

She smiled, sticking her tongue out slightly aswell.

She aloud herself to sway to the music for a moment, and feel the rhythm that was pulsating through everyone else- she'd been too distraught to mellow to the tunes before, but now, just standing there, swaying- she let herself dive into the music.

But was interrupted by a soft hand falling on her bare shoulder, she stopped swaying and turned around.

"Katie……….." she whispered, in the softest voice, afraid to utter her name too loudly, incase she was a dream that would vanish.

"Hey" Katie replied, smiling nervously and tucking a piece of wavy hair behind her ear.

"You………you……….you're here?" Jessie mumbled, staring deeply into her face- those dark eyes were staring right back at her- just as scared.

"Yeah………….I just couldn't not come to you're birthday……….ya know?" Katie was quiet, and both girls could sense the tension.

Jessie gave a small nod, "I'm so glad you did," she breathed.

Katie tucked the same piece of hair behind her ear again, and allowed her eyes to veer towards the floor- becoming increasingly un-nerved by Jessie's intense stare.

Jessie continued to stare, so completely lost in Katie's beauty……….and furthermore, in her presence.

JESSIE another one of the moments I have to hold onto……...store away and keep safe forever………….

"I'm sorry" Jessie finally spoke again.

Katie didn't look up; "I know………." Was all she could say?

JESSIE another one of those moments I have to grab……….reach out and take it, and never look back………….

"I love you" Jessie heard her voice shake as she spoke.

Katie looked up this time, and Jessie was shocked to see them watery; "I know that too……….." she mumbled.

Suddenly the song that had been playing stopped, and the bodies inside the small tent were still, as they eagerly awaited more music.

"I don't want to hurt you ever again………." Jessie peered deeper into Katie's eyes; and watched carefully as a single tear escaped.

"Don't make promises you cant keep" Katie replied; and Jessie felt her entire body tremble.

JESSIE just grab it.

"I promise right now………..forever………. " Jessie said, in a strong but hushed voice.

Katie turned away, but Jessie reached out, and brushed away a tear that was rolling down her cheek.

Katie turned back; slightly surprised that Jessie had displayed such affection in public.

"Forever Katie" she whispered.

Without another moments thought, Jessie reached for Katie's hand, cupping it in her own.

Katie looked down at their entwined hands, and then back at Jessie's face- her soft blue eyes told her everything would be ok.

Jessie turned, softly pulling Katie onto the dance floor- pushing people out of the way until they were at the very front, beside the band.

"Jessie!" Katie whispered, feeling everyone's silent eyes on them as Jessie pushed her way through.

Jessie didn't turn back; she only squeezed Katie's hand comfortingly. And that was all she needed.

Silence still filled the air, as the band paused, unsure what to do with the new couple that had made their way to the front………..the birthday girl……….and…………. another girl?

Jessie turned to Katie, taking a step forward; their body's touching. She wrapped one arm around Katie's back, holding her tight, and raised another hand in the air, holding Katie's.

Their eyes were connected the whole time; and, while they felt everyone else's eyes on them aswell……….they never once turned away from each other.

Eli looked down at his sister and Katie, in a tight embrace, staring into each other's faces.

He waited for them to part- but they didn't- they remained so close- so intimate.

"Eli!"

He turned his head, and saw Grace to the side of the stage- she mouthed the word 'play', and, although he felt dizzy with confusion, he signalled to Josh and Lucas to start playing.

He cleared his throat, strummed a familiar note- and a song, somehow, created itself amongst all the confusion.

**_Pride can stand_**

**_A thousand trials._**

**_The strong will never fall._**

**_But watching stars without you_**

**_My soul cried._**

**_Heaving heart is full of pain._**

**_Oh, oh the aching._**

A circle had formed around the couple, as they started to move to the slow, humbling song- nobody dared move……….as they watched these two girls hold one another……….so closely………..so intimately………..like they were………….in love?

_**'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.**_

_**I'm kissing you, oh.**_

Jessie and Katie continued to stare into one other's eyes- finding comfort in each other- Katie mouthed the words 'I love you', and Jessie felt a small tear run down her blushing cheek, Katie smiled warmly, and squeezed her hand………letting her know everything would be ok.

_**Touch me deep,**_

_**Pure, and true.**_

_**Gift to me forever.**_

Henry wrapped an arm around Karen's shoulders, looking from her astonished face- to the two girls dancing closely- and back again.

He felt her body shiver slightly, and he tightened his grip, he felt like he was propping her up, keeping her from collapsing.

Rick's mouth dropped open- no thoughts were running through his head- he could only watch- as his little girl……….danced with another girl……….what did this all mean? He didn't understand………he could only watch.

**_'Cause I'm kissing you, oh._**

**_I'm kissing you, oh._**

Grace smiled as she watched Jessie and Katie dance- the tension in the room was heavy and suffocating- but Jessie and Katie didn't seem to notice, they just danced.

"I don't understand" Zoe whispered, looking up to her sister. "Sssshhhh" Grace silenced her, and turned back to the couple. Smiling happily. Smiling for Jessie………..she'd finally found herself………….

_**Where are you now?**_

_**Where are you now?**_

_**Cuz I'm kissing you.**_

_**I'm kissing you, oh.**_

Judy squeezed Lily's arm- and they both turned to one another- "they make a gorgeous couple" Judy whispered to her sister.

"They do" Lily agreed, smiling warmly as she watched her stepdaughter and the mysterious 'Katie' dance.

She pulled away from her sister, and took a few steps closer into the circle surrounding the two girls- she raised the camera to her eye- and took a quick picture- then returned to Judy's side.

"That will come out nicely," Judy whispered.

"I'll make copies for you" Lily replied, and they both smiled.

* * *

**_AUTHORS NOTE_**  
Song was Des'ree 'kissing you'. It's the song in Romeo and Juliet- when they are looking at each other through the fish tank. I love that song.

So what did you all think of this story line? I'd been dying to write this for so long……….I had it all worked out in my head from the beginning……….more to come soon, so check back.


	61. Chapter 61

The music stopped, and Jessie was left in Katie's arms- staring into her chocolate eyes.

"What now?" Katie whispered, feeling eyes on them.

Jessie gave a small smile, "want to dance again?" she asked, in a small voice.

Katie smiled; but silence was all around them.

Eli nervously looked over the staring crowd, and then back down to his sister, who was still engulfed in Katie's arms.

ELI this isn't how I pictured Jessie………….. I never thought…………. I never knew…………..

"Eli!"

He turned to the side of the stage, where Grace was still standing, "keep playing!" she whispered.

Eli swallowed, then looked back to the crowd, and turned around to his band mates; who offered him sympathetic glances.

"Put a c.d on!" Eli hissed at Lucas, and he took off his guitar strap, placing it against one of the speakers.

A John Mayer song came on; and as Eli walked off the stage, he saw Jessie and Katie begin to move again, out of the corner of his eye.

The rest of the crowd soon followed; and in a manner of seconds, all had been forgotten.

He brushed past Grace, not even looking at her. But he could hear her following him, by the rustling of her long dress.

"Eli, wait" she called softly, as he headed inside the house.

"Eli!" she called, but the kitchen door closed behind him; and she knew he wanted to be alone.

But she just couldn't leave him………….so she continued to follow him inside.

He walked quickly through the kitchen, "not now Grace" his said over his shoulder as he heard the kitchen door open and close.

"Eli!" she cried again, having to run to catch up to him as he headed towards the front door.

He stopped, to grab his brown jacket from the coat hanger- flashing her a quick side-ways glance.

"I said not now!" he pulled the jacket on, opened the door, and it slammed behind him as he walked out.

Grace stared at the closed door, and reached for her mother's black coat- pulling it on herself, she too opened the door and allowed it to slam behind her as she stepped outside.

* * *

"I need to go home," Karen whispered, clutching Henry's arm.

He looked out at the crowd, "we have to stay Karen" he assured her.

"NO!" she hissed, "I want to go home!"

He looked down at her, an arm still draped around her shoulder, propping her weak body up.

"Don't do that to you're daughter Karen……….I'm telling you………" he replied, calmly.

Karen huffed, and looked out to the crowd- searching for her ex-husbands face- she spotted him, draw dropped, face as white as a sheet………..she guessed she didn't look much different.

Squirming, she escaped Henry's arm, and walked briskly around the dance floor, to the drinks table.

"Did you know!" She asked, in a stern voice.

Rick snapped out of his trance and turned to Karen, her teeth grinding.

RICK of course she blames this on me………..

"Oh please Karen" he hissed back.

"Well! Jesus Rick……….you're daughter being gay isn't something that's easy to miss!………….."

"You didn't know either………..!" he reminded her, in a deep voice.

Karen sighed heavily, and put her hands on her hips; "Well……….." she put her hands down "what do we do………….?" She asked, putting her hands back again.

Rick shook his head, "wait……….until after the party………..to talk to her………….." he offered.

"Talk about what exactly?" Karen asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Christ Karen……….there's no goddam hand-book on this stuff……….we just…………..talk!" he replied, and turned away from her burning eyes.

* * *

"Oh-oh" Judy tugged on Lily's arm, and nodded towards Karen and Rick.

"How do you think they're going to handle it?" Judy asked.

Lily turned to where Judy was motioning, and examined Rick's white, drawn face; she sighed; "if I know Rick………not well," she offered.

Judy nodded, "and if I know Karen……….Jessie will get a double dose of counselling!" she added.

Lily turned back to where her step-daughter and her girlfriend were dancing; "I think they should be proud that they're daughter is so brave…………." She commented, and squeezed Judy's hand.

* * *

"Eli wait!" Grace called, fumbling as she ran up the street, finally catching up to Eli- her long dress kept getting caught on her feet, and she was sure she'd hear a loud rip.

"Dammit Grace!" he stopped, and turned to her, "I want to be alone!" he hissed, and kept walking briskly.

"Well I can't let you be alone right now!" Grace replied, walking after him again.

"I'm not going to step out infront of a goddam bus or anything……….." he said sternly.

Grace grabbed at his arm, and, while he tried shrugging her off- after a moment, her firm grasp stopped him, and he nervously turned to her.

It was dark, dim streetlights providing the only light- they were standing under one right now- and Eli looked into Grace's chocolate eyes, as they darted across his face, trying to read him.

Her hair had fallen out, and now loose curls dangled down her bare shoulders, her cheeks were a light pink, and she panted slightly.

"Eli just calm down!" she said, after a breath.

He looked down at his feet, "Well……….. I just…………." He didn't know what to say, so he turned his head and looked down at the dark street.

"What?" Grace urged.

"I don't know what to do………..I mean………..my sister is a lesbian…………….?" Saying the words out-loud only made it more unbelievable.

"Yes……….and?" Grace urged.

He looked into her face, "what do you mean and! And nothing……….. I don't know how to react…………..!" he yelled at her, and shrugged off her hand that was still holding his arm.

They were silent for a moment, and Eli, feeling uncomfortable standing, turned around and sat down in the gutter.

Grace looked down at him, "It's still Jessie………" she whispered.

He looked up, the streetlight's beam was behind her head, and she looked like an angel.

"No its not…………the Jessie I knew 2 days ago was not a lesbian!" he replied.

"Yes she was………..you just didn't know it………." Grace carefully sat down next to him, in the gutter; Eli was going to comment on her dirtying her dress, but he thought it seemed a little vain to mention it, so he didn't.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, "she has been for a long time……….and it took a lot of courage for her to tell the rest of you………the last thing she needs right now is you, her big brother who she loves so much………..rejecting her for being who she is!"

Eli turned to Grace, her eyes soft and calm- it made him angry that she could be so all right with all this……….and then it hit him.

"How long have you known?" he asked turning away from her.

Grace sighed, "a long time" she replied softly.

"How long Grace?" He yelled, turning back to her with dark eyes.

She stumbled over her words for a moment, "about a year now" she finally replied.

Eli sighed and turned from her, shrugging off her hand that rested on his shoulder.

"How could you not tell me?………how could Jessie not tell me until now?………..how could I not have known………….?"

"It wasn't my place to say anything……….this was Jessie's secret……….and it's no wonder you didn't know………she kept it so close to herself………..so nobody could!"

"You did?" He turned back to her, his eyes softening now.

Grace nodded, "I figured it out for myself………." She said, in a far-off voice.

"But I should have known……….she's my little sister Grace……….how can I not know who she is!"

Grace put her hand back on his shoulder; "don't blame yourself for not knowing……….."

He reached for her hand, and rubbed it softly against his cheek, "what now?" he asked, softly.

Grace tucked her other arm around his waist, and leaned her body against his; "you be there for her……….tell her everything is going to be ok………and that you love her……….no matter what………." She sighed, Eli felt her body lift up and down with the exhale of breath.

"And most of all………you don't forget she is still Jessie………you're sister………….who you love………..nothing has changed that" she added.

Eli nodded slightly, "and if I cant do that?" he asked.

Grace sighed again, "you pretend to……….until you are alright with it………you pretend, for her……….because right now she needs to know that she is still the same person in you're eyes………..ok?"

Eli nodded again, and pulled away from Grace, adjusting his body, he tucked an arm around her, and held her close.

"I'll be there for you too……….and Jessie" she added.

Eli squeezed her, "ok" was all he could manage.

A car's headlights flashed in their eyes, and they both squinted as the car headed towards them.

They both rose to their feet, Eli keeping his arm tucked around Grace; she narrowed her eyes, as the car came closer and closer……….and she recognised it.

"Ayden" she breathed.

Eli looked down at her, about to ask her what she meant, when the car pulled up beside them, and Grace hastily pulled away from Eli.

The window rolled down, and there was Ayden, siting behind the wheel in a tux, his dark eyes peering up at Grace, and glancing over at Eli.

"What are you two doing out here?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" Grace replied to his question with a question.

"I came to be you're date………." Ayden replied in a small voice; and Grace winced slightly.

"I thought you said………" she started.

"I know what I said……….and I'm sorry………Grace………." He glanced back at Eli, who fidgeted nervously, and tucked his hands in his pockets, avoiding eye contact with Ayden.

Ayden continued, in a whisper; "I'm sorry………..I don't want us to end like this……….and if you're willing……….. I want to give us another try"

Grace quivered nervously as she peered into Ayden's eyes; he noticed her resistance, and looked back to Eli.

"What were you doing out here anyway……….?" He asked again.

Grace bit her lip, and she turned slightly to Eli, and then back to Ayden.

"We………we were………." She started.

Ayden examined Eli, who was shifting his weight on either foot, and looked back down the road towards their house- then his eyes met Ayden's, and looked away nervously.

"Well?" Ayden prompted, feeling a strange anger rising.

"We………" Grace tried again, biting her lip.

Ayden looked from Grace to Eli, and back again- everything finally falling into place- he had seen them huddled on the side of the road, arms draped around one another- they parted quickly when Ayden drove up………and now………both were nervous.

"Don't tell me……….." Ayden whispered harshly; hearing those words, Eli looked back to Ayden, just as he opened his car door.

"You two?" he inquired, as he stood, face-to-face with Eli, Grace pulling on his arm.

"I'm sorry Ayden," she pleaded.

Ayden turned to her, his eyes shattered; "It's Eli?" he asked, a broken voice, "you're step brother?" he furthered the question……...to which he already knew the answer.

Had Grace replied quickly, coming up with some sort of excuse, maybe it wouldn't have happened; but Ayden, seeing Grace stammer and her eyes well with tears; knew, for sure………..it was Eli that Grace had cheated on him with.

Ayden saw red, as he turned back to Eli, and marched forward, clenching his hand into a fist.

"Ayden……….I'm sorry………." Eli began, taking his hands out of his pockets, trying to calm the guy down.

Ayden didn't hear him, and his fist connected with Eli's left eye swiftly and brutally. Grace squealed, and ran in front of Eli, who was doubled over, before Ayden could throw another punch.

"Go home Ayden!" she yelled, furiously, tears streaming down her face.

Ayden stared into her eyes, relaxing his fists, he looked past her at the injured Eli; "I don't believe you would do this to me Grace………." He stammered, and turned back to his car, getting in, he threw one last broken look at Grace "I loved you," he whispered, before screeching off down the street.

Grace watched him go, and then turned to Eli, "I'm……….I'm so sorry" she managed through panty breaths and tears.

Eli stood tall, his left eye closed with pain, "I better get something on this" he whispered. Grace nodded, and held his hand tight as they walked home, the whole time she quietly cried, and Eli said nothing.


	62. Chapter 62

"Thanks for coming" 

"See you on Monday"

"Thankyou so much for the present"

Jessie smiled as she said her goodbyes to the last few guests that remained.

"Bye!"

"Have a good weekend!"

It was obvious that the party had deflated the moment Jessie and Katie hit the dance floor.

But somehow, amidst the tense atmosphere, music continued to play, people went on dancing……….and for the next hour………..though still noticeably heavy, the part continued.

JESSIE I don't know………….it all kinda makes me wonder what I was nervous about in the first place…………. I kind of expected everything to come to a screeching halt………..for something to catch fire…………..(laughing) I don't know………..for my father to have a heart attack? Just………… something!

Katie was standing by the stairs, beside Grace, who was sort of guarding her from any member of the family throwing a million questions her way.

Karen, Henry, Lily, Judy and Rick were all in the kitchen………….Jessie guessed both her parents were tucking into a bottle of strong liquor………..

Eli had retired to his garage straight after Jessie and Katie's dance, and Jessie wasn't sure if it was because playing his music all night long had tired him……….or if his sister's revealed secret had?

Zoe had gone to bed long ago- sometime after Jessie had danced with Katie.

She guessed she'd have to answer a billion questions Zoe would no doubt throw at her tomorrow.

"See-ya!"

The last couple walked down the porch, and Jessie softly closed the door behind them, sighing with relief.

"I better get going" Katie walked down the stairs towards Jessie; Grace hung back, watching as Jessie turned to her with a sulking face.

"You have to?" she asked, reaching out and brushing her arm lightly.

Katie leaned in, "yes" she sighed, and they connected lips.

Parting, Katie turned and smiled at Grace, "see-ya" she said, and held Jessie's hand as she led her outside.

"I hope you're folks are ok………." Katie whispered, as they stood on the porch.

Jessie nodded, "me too" she agreed, and kissed Katie again.

Once Katie had left, out of sight, Jessie returned inside, walking towards Grace who sat on the second last step of the staircase.

"Hows Eli?" Jessie asked, taking a seat beside her.

Grace fidgeted for a moment, "He's fine……….just tired………." She replied, quickly.

Jessie nodded, "I better go talk to him………." She said, about to stand.

Grace rested her hand on Jessie's shoulder, and shook her head, "not tonight" she said, calmly.

Jessie nodded, and looked towards the kitchen- Grace followed her gaze.

"Whatever they say about this………." Grace started, and Jessie turned to her.

"I think you should know what you did tonight was incredibly amazing………..and I think………." Grace smiled warmly, "you are the bravest person I have ever met……….."

"Jessie?"

Both girls looked up to find Lily, camera still in hand, she brought it to her face and took a quick picture of the girls, who had a quick chance to smile.

GRACE how appropriate.

"Can you come into the kitchen for a moment?" Lily asked, lowering the camera.

Jessie nodded, and got up from her place beside Grace, heading into the kitchen, five faces turned to her; her mother and father, Henry, Judy and Lily, who entered beside her.

She took a deep breath, and pulled up a chair at the table.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

short chapter, more to come soon- I'm not sure when this fic will end.

I suppose, whenever you guys get sick of it? Which will probably be soon.


	63. Chapter 63

RICK I knew Jessie and Eli were closing themselves off from me…………but I never knew………….. I mean………….never in my mind did I think I would be so completely out of touch with them…………..Jessie especially………….. I just didn't know………….

He heard Lily switch off the bathroom light, and heard her patted footsteps as she headed towards the bed.

He closed his eyes and dug his head further under the blanket, forcing sleep on himself.

Lily looked at him for a moment, as she stood beside the bed in her pink slip, massaging her hands with baby lotion.

She half smiled as she saw one of his eyes twitch, trying to sneak a peek at her.

She flung the covers off, careful not to grab them, because of her oily hands- and climbed into bed, sitting up right, she continued to rub the lotion in.

Rick could hear the soft squelching as Lily's hands turned over and over, massaging the lotion in- after a minute or so, he couldn't take it anymore, and rolled onto his side.

"Want to talk about it?" Lily said, calmly and slowly.

"No" came the weak reply.

"Ok………….but I'll be up for a little while………..if you change you're mind"

"Lil………..it's 2:30 in the morning……….aren't you tired?" Rick sighed; adamant that he wouldn't have a deep and meaningful with Lily tonight………..of all nights!

"I am a little……….but I want to catch up on some reading………so if you do want to talk…………." She let her voice linger.

"I'll be awake" she ended, still rubbing in the lotion.

He sighed again, and forced his eyes shut- but Lily's hands continued to squelch, and they opened again. He lay still for a moment, staring at the clock beside his bed, 2:37.

Shoving the covers off himself, he struggled to sit up, and, when he finally got comfortable and turned to Lily- she was already turned to him, a warm half smiled on her face, encouraging him to speak. He hated how she knew him so well……….and loved it at the same time………..but he guessed Lily knew that.

"I just……….." he started, wearily.

Lily reached her hand out, brushing it softly against his cheek, "bit of a bomb dropped tonight?" she started for him, knowing he couldn't simply launch into a total confession of his feelings without a bit of a kick start from her.

"A bit?" he laughed sarcastically, "it felt like a piano fell on my head……….." he sighed.

"I can imagine……….." she replied.

"No, you really cant!" he snapped back, without meaning it the way it sounded.

But Lily understood, and dismissed his snide tone; "actually Rick………there was a time not so long ago when I thought Grace was……….." she struggled with the final word, "gay" it finally came to her.

Rick nodded, "Oh………. I…………. I guess so" he replied.

Lily nodded; "I was wrong of course………..she was having an affair with her teacher………." Rick turned to her, and she half smiled, "that's much better, isn't it?" she said, sarcastically, and Rick gave the smallest of smiles.

She brought her hand to rest on his neck, and massaged it gently; "You know Rick, Jessie is a great kid………."

"I know, I know!" he sighed.

"She's smart, beautiful, determined, kind…………."

"I know, I know"

"And there are other kids out there who are doing drugs……….. Binge drinking……………going out to parties every night of the week………..having sex and contracting all sorts of STD's……….." Lily continued.

Rick remained silent.

"When you think about it………….Jessie being gay isn't bad at to the other things she COULD be doing!"

"But Lil" Rick shrugged her hand off, and looked deep into her rich eyes.

"I didn't know"

"No-one did"

"Exactly!" he replied, with a sigh.

"Rick………I don't understand………." Lily started.

"I am her father……………. I am the one that held her in my arms the million times she fell off her bike…………. I'm the one who held her hand on the first day of school………….. I'm the one she calls when there's an emergency………….."

"Rick?" Lily brought him back to reality.

"I am supposed to know her inside out………..and I didn't know……….the most important thing in her life………..who she is………and I didn't know!" He sighed, a deep, menacing sigh.

Lily brought her legs up, and hugged them; "she did a very good job of keeping it from everyone"

"I'm not everyone Lil……….. I am her father………." Rick replied.

And Lily had nothing left to say to that; he was right; and suddenly, Lily couldn't offer him any condolences…………..there was nothing to say……….so she turned her light off, and they both lay under the covers, slowly drifting into sleep after what seemed like a decade.

* * *

"That was………….."

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Ok"

"I mean it!"

"I know you do!"

"Well………. good"

Karen turned her head and looked out the window, at the houses and trees that went whizzing by; she peered at Henry out of the corner of her eye, as he kept his sight straight ahead, and didn't say a word.

KAREN were there any signs? Something I missed? Did she ever try to tell me? Did I not listen?

Karen sighed, and Henry turned and looked at her for a moment; then veered his eyes back to the road again………..waiting for her.

"Did I miss something?" Karen finally sighed.

"No"

"Well I must have………..because I don't understand how my daughter could go through something so drastic……….and me not notice anything!"

"You were in rehab…………."

"I know"

"After the accident"

"I know!"

"And she did keep it from everyone else aswell………….Rick, Eli, Lily……….."

"I know!" Karen snapped angrily; and Henry went silent again.

She sighed, "I'm sorry………..it's just……….." she searched for words, but only found tears as she felt herself choke up.

Henry took a hand off the wheel, and reached across for her hand, squeezing it lovingly.

"I know," he whispered.

"She's my baby girl and I didn't know………..something so completely huge in her life……….and I did not know!" Karen took in big gulps of breath, trying hard to fight back tears.

"What she must have gone through………..all the confusion……….how scared she must have been……….and she had to go through all that by herself!"

"I think her girlfriend would have helped her" Henry offered; but the word 'girlfriend' made Karen snap her head to the side and look at him curiously.

KAREN Jessie has a 'girlfriend'.

"It sounds like Katie really loves and cares for her……….. I don't think Jess would have gone through it all alone………." Henry continued, and Karen snapped back to reality, nodding meekly.

"But I am her mother………. I could have helped her through all that……….. I should have……….."

"Would you have known what to say?"

"Of course!"

Henry turned his head for a moment, raising an eyebrow, and then turned back to the road.

"Well………. I would have been caught off guard…………….and I may not have been totally helpful…………."

"It's just like a right of passage………." Henry interrupted.

"It was something she had to go through by herself……….and keeping it to herself made her feelings all the more true, and special when she finally let it all out………….after keeping it to close for so long!" Henry ended, and Karen fell silent.

"Karen………..she is still you're daughter……….the only difference is……….she likes girls……….." Henry filled in the silence.

"And, she is just a little bit stronger because of it……….you should be proud…………." he added, and remained silent for the rest of the car trip home, as did Karen.

KAREN I think Jessie should have more counselling sessions…………..(throws hands in air) I just don't know how to handle this……….how do I act………..what do I say to her………..?

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

I just wanted to get the parents point of view about Jessie's 'coming out'; I'd just be fascinated to see their reaction to such a huge development in their child's life!

So, sorry there was no Grace, Jessie or Eli in this chapter; but I wanted to get a totally different point of view.

As always, thanks for the reviews!


	64. Chapter 64

Light stung Eli's eyes as he rolled over, and found himself bathing in it.

He tried burying his head under the sheets; but his sleep had been disturbed, and there was no escaping back into that world; he had to wake up. Damn.

His eyes blurred, and he wasn't sure………….he blinked, hard, and rubbed his eyes, wincing as he softly brushed sleep out of his bruised left eye.

He hadn't been mistaken; a figure was sitting on the chair beside his bed, looking at him.

Quickly, he scrambled out from under the covers, and sat up, staring Grace in the face.

She wore grey track suit pants, and a navy blue jumper- her hair was in a high ponytail, and her eyes were heavy…………..Eli wondered how long she'd been there for………….as he noticed her lips were still painted with the peachy pink lipstick she'd worn last night.

Her dark eyes examined his face, and then veered to the floor, ashamed.

"You're eye looks bad" she whispered, in a croaky voice.

"Doesn't hurt so much" Eli tried; his sleep filled voice made his response less convincing.

Grace nodded heavily, but continued to stare down at her hands.

"How long have you…………..….?" Eli started.

"Since 6:00" Grace replied before he could finish his question.

Eli nodded his head, and continued to stare at her- she'd tucked her legs up to her chin, and hugged them tight; her body looked so small in that big chair; and he'd never seen her eyes look so sad.

"Incase I didn't say it enough last night……….." Grace's strained voice broke through his thoughts; "I'm sorry……….."

"Stop apologizing, Grace!" he replied, tossing the blankets off his body, to reveal black pyjama pants and a bare chest.

Grace looked up, and felt blood rush to her cheeks as she took in his body- she turned away.

"Well I don't know what else I can say," she muttered, peering out the small window; though she had to squint because of the sunlight.

Eli sighed as he crawled out of bed, and walked towards his drawer, pulling out a white t-shirt, which he slipped on; "I know you feel bad………..but don't,………" he said, pulling out a pair of baggy jeans from his cupboard.

Grace turned and looked at him, his hands at the rim of his black pyjama pants, about to pull them off, she turned away again, feeling herself turn scarlet red; "what will you tell everyone?" Grace asked, in a quiet voice.

She heard his pants fall to the ground, and the clinking as he fiddled with the belt buckle of his jeans; she had to force herself to look away.

"I don't know……….I'll say Lucas got a little drunk and threw a punch at me……….." Eli muttered, as he scrunched his pants into a ball and threw them on the bed.

Grace turned back to him, relieved to see him fully dressed now; "what are you doing to do?" Eli asked, taking a seat at the edge of his bed, facing Grace.

She looked away, hugging her legs tighter; "I honestly don't know" came her weak reply.

Eli sighed, and reached his hand out; Grace looked down at it, and then released her legs, she touched his hand, and he squeezed hers lovingly.

"I hate to see you so sad" he whispered.

With her other hand, Grace reached out to Eli's face, lightly touching his bruised black eye; he winced, and she pulled away.

"I hate to see you hurt" Grace sighed.

Eli brought her hand to his lips, kissing it lightly; "everything's going to be ok" he whispered, looking into her eyes.

Grace fidgeted out of the big chair, and sat on the floor, by Eli's legs; she rested her head against his knee, and sighed with relief as she felt his free hand brush against her forehead.

"Somehow………..I believe you……….." she whispered, closing her eyes.

Eli gave a small smile, and brought his hand down to her cheek, lightly running his fingers across her scarlet cheek.

"I thought I had everything figured out…………." Grace said, croakily.

"What do you mean?" he asked, creasing his brow.

Grace opened her eyes, and said nothing.

"Grace?" Eli asked again; and with that, she sat up, and looked up into his face.

"Last night…………. You held me………….and we danced………….." she stopped herself from saying more, but Eli urged her to continue "and………….?" He asked.

"And……….it was perfect………….everything felt so completely right……….and I didn't want everything to feel right………….but it did…………..and I knew………….right then, right there…………..when I could feel you're chest moving with every breath………….when I smelt that aftershave you wear, the one that smells like the ocean mixed with sandalwood…………….and you're big hands that know all the strings of a guitar cupped mine………….I knew…………." Grace heaved a breath, she knew she was babbling, but she couldn't stop herself.

"Knew what?" Eli asked, utterly confused.

"That I……………" Grace choked on her words; but, just as her mouth opened, about to pour out every truth she held close to her heart, there came three light knocks on Eli's door, and it slowly opened to reveal Jessie on the other side.

"Am I interrupting……………..?" she asked, about to close the door and leave.

Eli looked to Grace, hoping she would finish what she was about to say; but she shook her head, "no………..no…………." she said, quickly, and scrambled to her feet, heading for the door.

GRACE keep it close……….don't let anyone know………..especially not Eli………….that way………. I wont get hurt!

ELI please………..it's there……….. I know it's there.

"I………..I should leave you two alone………..to talk……….about stuff………." She muttered, and walked past Jessie, who watched her go, with a raised eyebrow.

"Right" Jessie mumbled, stepping into her brother's room and closing the door behind her. She turned to Eli, "what the hell happened?" she exclaimed, her mouth dropping as she stared at his black eye.

Eli reached up and lightly touched it, wincing as the pain shot through his skull.

"Long story," he mumbled.

Jessie dug her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, and nodded.

"Not half as long as your's though" he added, causing her to look up.

She nodded again, "we need to talk about that……….." she started.

Eli nodded towards the chair Grace had been sitting in.

Jessie slowly walked across the room, taking her hands out of the pockets; she sat, uncomfortably, at the edge of the chair, and looked down to the floor.

"So……….." she started.

"So………….." Eli mimicked

JESSIE we really need to talk.

Silence lingered uncomfortably, and they both felt like choking on the quiet.

ELI but not today…………….

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

I'm sorry this story has been so Jessie/Katie.

I honestly didn't mean for that to happen, but I just got so completely caught up in their story, and once I started I could not stop!

Well, look forward to more Grace/Eli and Eli/Jessie scenes.


	65. Chapter 65

Jessie tried to ignore her father's side-ways glances that came her way every five seconds as she slowly ate her cereal.

She looked up at him from where she sat at the breakfast table; he was standing by the sink, sipping his coffee. Another side-ways glance, but this time he was caught out, and made obvious eye contact.

He quickly looked down, into his coffee.

"Dad?" Jessie finally spoke.

"Hmmm?" Rick took another long sip.

"What's wrong?" she asked, slowly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, turning around and rinsing his empty cup.

Jessie sighed, and stirred her cereal, "you keep looking at me weird………..like your building up for a long speech……….." she looked into her cereal, and then back at her father.

"Your going to give me a long speech aren't you?" she sighed.

Rick turned around, and gave a half smile; a smile that sort of said sorry-kiddo………you-know-the-drill.

She put her spoon down, and turned in her seat, so she was facing him, "make it quick or else I'll be late for school" she sighed, defeated, knowing there was no escape from a deep and meaningful.

Rick hurriedly walked to the table, and pulled out a chair, the whole time looking his daughter straight in the eye.

"Jessie……………you do realize there may be some people at school who wont take kindly to…………."

"Lesbians like Katie and I?" she ended for him, and he gave a small sigh of relief.

"Yes" he nodded heavily, "and I want you to know……….you shouldn't be put down by those people…………." He sighed, and looked down at his hands, his brow creasing as he searched for more words.

Jessie studied him, waiting for more.

"Because………."

Both were surprised by the stammer in his tone.

"Because those people don't have any sort of leverage over you…………..they re just small minded fools who don't know any better……….and you………..you're a brave, beautiful young girl………..and if anything, those people are scared and intimidated because………..you've found who you are…………." He looked up, and Jessie saw his glazed eyes; he gave a small smile.

"………….And your brave enough to not hide who you are……….and that's amazing………..it's something some people can never do………..but I'm proud that you can………….."

JESSIE my dad……….one in a million!

RICK (sincere smile)

Jessie gave a small nod, and continued to stare into her father's eyes "thanks dad" she whispered, a small smirk creeping across her lips.

Rick nodded, feeling proud tears about to fall, he quickly wiped his nose and rose from his seat, walking to the sink; Jessie's eyes followed him.

"You better get to school" he mumbled, trying to control his shaky tone.

Jessie smiled wider, and got up from her seat, "see-ya dad" she said, heading out of the kitchen.

Rick leaned against the sink, and took in a long breath, but was interrupted when Jessie's head poked around the door again.

"And dad………." She said, and Rick turned around.

"Lets get an ice cream or something after school, ok?" she smiled, and Rick nodded.

And when she left, he cried.

RICK (swipes away a tear, and gives a small laugh)

* * *

Grace stared down at the hairbrush posed in her hand, when a small knock came at her door, and it slowly opened.

She quickly looked up from where she sat at the edge of her bed, and gave a small smile to Eli as he stepped in, digging his hands into the pocket of his black pants.

"Hey" he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Hey" she echoed, softly.

"So this is it………..today's the day………." He started, walking over to where she sat.

Grace looked up at him, her brow creased "what do you mean?" she asked, in a small voice.

Eli nodded to the place beside her, and she shifted over slightly, Eli taking a seat next to her.

"The day that everything is supposed to come crashing down around you………." He spoke in a low, husky voice.

GRACE I could do without the chilling reminder, thankyou.

Grace turned to him, the hairbrush still in hand, which she gripped tightly; "I don't know what you……….." she started.

"Oh come on Grace………." Eli gave a half smile, "I know you………..I know that you didn't get a wink of sleep since the party…………." He shifted slightly, "……….since the Ayden fiasco……….and now it's Monday………..and you've been sitting up here trying to think of the best way to fake a sicky and get out of having to go to school and face everyone because your so sure that Ayden told them that you had a' thing' with your stepbrother" Eli raised an eyebrow as he studied Grace's slightly mortified face.

GRACE the scary thing is………..that's completely true……….

"Well?" he inquired.

Grace mumbled a few incoherent words, and then straightened her back, "why would I be embarrassed about a rumour like that………………?" she asked, in a small, croaky voice.

Eli let out a small laugh, "because it's not a rumour……….it's a fact……….and you don't need to tell me that having an affair with you're stepbrother sounds like the topic for a 'Jerry Springer' episode!" he cocked his head to one side as he awaited her response.

Grace's mouth opened, about to fire out a retort; but she couldn't feel the strength to lie about the truth. So she allowed her shoulders to slouch, and she let a heavy sigh escape.

"He hates me……….and he is going to tell everyone exactly what happened……….and then everyone will hate me………….and there's really no need because I already hate myself more than enough!"

GRACE I cant say I feel any better now that the truth is out in the open.

She rolled the hairbrush over and over in her hand, gripping it tightly, looking down at its brown handle instead of Eli's questioning face.

He said nothing, and that made her feel even worse.

She turned to him, his face turned down, studying his hands.

"Eli!" she exclaimed, shoving him slightly with her elbow.

Eli turned to her, "oh I'm sorry……….are you done feeling sorry for yourself?" he asked, rubbing his arm.

Grace's mouth dropped, and Eli had to smile at her mortified face.

He turned to her, grabbing the hairbrush and placing it on the bed, he took her hands in his.

"Grace……………… I admit what we……….." he creased his brow, "what I did to Ayden was really bad……….but he loves you…………." Grace turned away, Eli squeezed her hands and she looked back, "he does!………..and I can tell you right now, he would never in a million years hurt you………and that's why I know……….when you go to school today there aren't going to be any rumours going around, nobody is going to hate you………." He sighed, "It might just be very awkward with Ayden"

Grace sighed, and looked down at their hands, "maybe your right……….. I mean………I know Ayden would never hurt me" she looked back into Eli's green eyes, "and that's what is hurting ME so much……….that he is so kind………and I'm so……….."

"No!" Eli interrupted, "don't say it"

"Eli………..I was awful to him, I broke his heart, and all he ever did was love me!" she released her hands and got up from the bed, walking over to her dresser and staring at herself in the mirror for a moment, she turned back to Eli.

"I feel so bad………." She sighed, leaning against the small table "I hate myself……….."

Eli got up and walked over to her, placing his hands gently on her hips, she looked up into his face; her eyes swollen and watery.

"Grace, I know what we did was mean………..but I'm not sorry for it………I'm not sorry for any of it"

She sighed, and turned away, but Eli moved his face infront of hers, forcing her to turn back to him; "I don't hate you…………. I hate seeing you so torn up inside……….but I don't hate you" he gave a small smile.

"I just don't think I can live through today………..seeing him………" she sighed.

Eli nodded slowly, "I cant help that" he said, in a soft voice; "but I can promise that when you come home I will give you a neck rub, and listen to you talk about every little detail…………and then I'll make you some coffee and we can watch whatever cheesy movie is on cable………..and I guarantee that by the time dad and Lily get home you're bad day will be washed away………….." He smiled, and Grace couldn't help but reflect one aswell.

"Ok?" he asked, pouting his lips slightly.

Grace laughed, and rested her head against his chest, his eyes enclosing around her, "ok" she said, and he hugged her tight.

She pulled away, and looked up at him, "I better go," she mumbled.

"I'll be here when you get back…………" he replied.


	66. Chapter 66

Eli took the books out, one by one, and set them side by side along the shelf.

His mind in a far-off trance as he thought of Grace, and all that she meant to him. Her smell still lingered, her lavender scent was intoxicating; and it was nearly impossible for him to think of anything else, until his thoughts were broken.

"Jake!"

Eli snapped out of his trance and turned to the front door of the office where Judy stood, her face a drained white.

"Judy?" Eli asked, putting the last book down and walking towards her.

She turned to him, her eyes wide, and her mouth dropped, "not now Eli!" she snapped.

"Jake!" she exclaimed again.

Eli looked to the bookstore, where a few customers' heads had turned towards the source of the shouts, and Eli could see Jake walking towards them, his eyes narrowed on Judy as he approached.

"Want to keep quite?" he hissed, nudging her into the office.

"Jake, this is huge……….. I mean………..huge!" she babbled.

Eli poked his head into the office, only to be confronted by Jake, "Sorry Eli, just give us a moment………..we need to talk business……….." he said, slowly closing the door.

Eli nodded, but didn't move from where he stood, instead, he leaned in a little close, and strained his hearing.

He could hear Judy pacing around the office, and Jake's husky voice as he tried to speak above her ramblings.

"This is amazing……….. I never thought………….not in a million years……….." she mumbled.

"Judy, Judy………..slow down………….what's this all about?"

"I got a phone call……….."

"From?"

"B & J books!"

Eli's brow creased, who were B & J books?

"Who?" Jake asked.

"B & J books!"

"Doesn't ring a bell"

"Oh god Jake……….…..they are only the fifth biggest book store in England!"

"So?"

"So…………..they want to expand to America……….Philadelphia specifically!"

"And this is huge news because…………."

"They want to join forces with us! Booklovers! They want to base their new stores on our design and layout…………..their new name in Philadelphia would be B & J booklovers!"

"You didn't accept, did you?"

"No, I said I needed to discuss with my partner……….."

"Well we've discussed and the answer is no"

"What!"

"We don't want to be half of a big cooperation………….they'd screw us over………….."

"Jake, they have offered us 7.8 million…………….for the name and layout alone……………"

Silence on both sides of the door.

"We're rich!"

"That's only half of it!"

A loud 'yahoo' could be heard from Jake, in a deep thunderous yell.

Eli pulled away from the door, but when he heard the conversation start again, he moved closer.

"What do they need from us?"

"They want the basic design, and the name of the architect……….."

"Rick?"

"Yep! And, they want a few of our people to move down there………..managers mainly………..so it's an even business!"

"And us?"

"They would like one of us to move over there permanently……….to keep an eye on things………..but that's up to us………….."

"Right"

"Jake, didn't I tell you this was HUGE!"

"You did, and you were right!"

More screeching, from Judy this time.

"When is everything finalized?"

"They are sending a lawyer down as we speak, to sign and discuss!"

"And which managers do we send down?"

"That's up to us…………."

More screeching, from both Judy and Jake, and this time Eli had to move away, back to the shelf he was stacking.

ELI Philadelphia…………7.8 million………….move to Philadelphia………..this is HUGE!


	67. Chapter 67

'I'll be here when you get back……….' Grace took a deep breath and thought of Eli's promise as she walked to her locker.

She clutched her history book in one hand, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear with the other.

"That's her"

Grace turned around, just in time to see a girl tug at her friend's arm and motion towards Grace.

She shrugged slightly and kept walking.

"Grace!"

She turned around, surprised to see a familiar face.

Naomi, with her white sparkling teeth, and perfect hair, dressed in jeans and a singlet top.

"Hey" Grace smiled, turning to her.

As Naomi approached, Grace didn't see her usual gleaming smile, she was only welcomed by a grimace.

"What's wrong?" Grace asked, creasing her brow, concerned by Naomi's glare.

She didn't say anything, only tugged at Grace's arm, forcing her to keep walking down the hallway.

"Naomi?" Grace asked, trying to wriggle out of her grip.

She didn't say anything, only pulled Grace into an empty classroom.

"Oh my god Naomi, is everything ok?" Grace asked, slightly frightened.

Naomi released her grip, and turned to Grace, narrowing her eyes icily.

"How dare you!" she sniped.

"How dare I what?" Grace asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Cheat on Ayden!" Naomi exclaimed.

GRACE oh

Grace's mouth dropped, and her cheeks flushed red, Naomi whipped her hair to one side.

"How dare you treat him the way you did………….."

"I……….I……….how did you……….." Grace stammered.

Naomi didn't listen to Grace, she continued on her rampage.

"I thought you were sweet, Grace………..all of us did……….we liked you, because Ayden liked you………..and because of that, we brushed aside the fact that you dress like your 8 years old, have seriously geeky tendencies and had an affair with that gross English teacher, Mr what's his name!"

Grace clutched her history book tighter, unable to speak.

"You hurt him Grace…………..in the worst way…………..and you better believe we don't like to see our friends get hurt like that………….."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Sorry isn't good enough Grace……….not now………..not ever………….be sorry you ever got involved with him and broke his heart……………your going to regret that for as long as you live!" Naomi exclaimed.

She turned on her heel and placed her hand on the door handle, but looked over her shoulder at Grace before leaving; "what did Eli have that Ayden didn't?" she asked, in a menacing tone.

Grace searched for words, but found none, instead she watched Naomi leave, without saying anything.

* * *

Walking slowly, her hands dug deep into the pockets of her jeans, she saw the boys hockey team running across the field; and instantly narrowed on Ayden, his black hair was wind blown as he stood, hockey stick poised in his hand.

As she came closer to the gate, she heard the chatter of the girls as they sat at the bleachers; and the last thing she felt like doing was talking to those hyena's, especially Naomi, so she stood by the gate, and watched the remaining 5 minutes of the game.

GRACE I never wanted any of this to happen………….none of it!

The boys started walking off the field, and Grace saw recognition in Ayden's eyes, and a hint of anger, as he approached.

He didn't say anything, only bent down and picked his bag up, brushing past Grace as he walked out the gate.

"Ayden wait!" she exclaimed, walking briskly after him.

He rummaged around in his bag, pulling out a bottle of water, but said nothing as he took long sips.

"Ayden……….." Grace pleaded, walking beside him.

He lowered the bottle and turned to her for a moment, then looked straight ahead again.

"Why are you here?" he asked, icily.

Grace almost didn't recognize his voice, it sounded like stone, cold and hard- she'd only ever heard him speak honestly, gently and huskily, and it scared her slightly to hear such anger.

"Because I thought you loved me!"

He stopped walking and turned to her, his eyes dark, as usual; except this time, as Grace peered into them, they looked hollow; and frightening, not broodingly beautiful, but eerie; because she didn't know what was behind those eyes, she didn't know the person she was looking at.

Her eyes explored his face, his chiselled features that showed no signs of emotion. She knew he was waiting for an explanation to what she'd just said, but she allowed silence to linger around them for a moment before speaking again.

"I thought you did………..but clearly I was wrong………..because otherwise you wouldn't have gone telling everyone about……….." she mumbled Eli's name, looking down at the ground as she uttered the word, and when she looked back, Ayden's face hadn't changed, it was still hard; "I had to go through this entire day with people staring at me as though I was dirt………..hearing people snigger behind my back………..and, of course, be threatened by Naomi!"

His face registered her last words, with a slightly surprised look, but his face soon returned to stone; and he continued to say nothing.

Grace ran a hand through her hair, and swallowed back tears, "Ayden……….. I am so sorry for hurting you…………. I really, truly am………….and I know I can stand here and tell you what an amazing person you are and how you changed me and how I never meant for any of this to happen………..but I know you wont listen to any of it……….because you can never trust me again, or anything that I tell you………..and I probably couldn't get what I need to say across to you anyway" she swiped away a strand of hair that fell across her face, and continued to babble;

"But everything has been so completely confusing lately, and nothing is going right………..and I am sorry about Eli and I, and what we did to you………..what I did to you………..but I don't want to apologize for telling the truth and doing what I think is right………..and you have no right to go telling people about my private life knowing too well how they would react………….."

The wind picked up and danced around their bodies; a menacing strand of hair blew across her face again, she brought her hand to swipe it away; but was too late, Ayden's hand had already brushed it aside, and now rested against her cheek.

"I………" she murmured, looking into his face, which was still firm and showed no signs of emotion; he leaned forward, his lips brushing hers.

"Cant………." she finished, pulling away from him.

His hand dropped and he stared into her face, "you never loved me, did you?" he asked, slowly.

Grace stared into his face, a million words running through her mind, but all it took was a small nod of her head, and Ayden looked away.

"I'm………..I'm sorry……….." she mumbled, not even sure of what she'd just admitted to.

"I'm really sick of hearing that" he turned back to her, hollowed eyes replaced with a softness that was familiar to her.

"I don't know what else to say" she admitted, swallowing back more tears.

Ayden gave the smallest hint of a smile, as he ran a hand through his wind-blown hair, he looked towards the car park, and back to Grace.

"I don't think you can say anything," he said, slowly and surely.

"I have to though………" she stammered, "I have to make this right again………..I can't just leave things like this………."

"You don't have a choice in the matter" he replied, softly.

Swallowing back a lump in her throat, Grace looked to the ground, "why did you tell everyone?" she asked.

"I wanted to hurt you"

Grace was shocked by his honesty.

"Oh" she mumbled, uncertainly.

"Well it worked………." She added.

Ayden gave a small nod, "revenge isn't so sweet" he muttered.

Grace nodded, and crossed her arms over her chest, knowing that was the closest thing to an apology she could hope for; "What now?" she asked.

Ayden turned to her, his head slightly cocked to one side, "I guess I try and forget about you?"

Grace looked away, towards the bleachers, and when she turned back, her mouth open, about to say more, Ayden was gone.

He was working towards his car, sports bag slung over his shoulder- Grace continued to stare after him, but after a moment, her feet moved and carried her away.


	68. Chapter 68

Eli sipped the bottle of water as he sat, enjoying his 20-minute break, when it was rudely interrupted by Kevin, pulling up a seat at the small table.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Eli sighed.

"Pleasure indeed…………" Kevin smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Eli did the same, "what?" he asked, confused.

"The weed man………….you know, from like 3 weeks ago………..you still got it?" Kevin asked, in a husky breath.

Eli's mind triggered, he'd stuffed the bag at the back of his closet, and had forgotten all about it amidst the chaos of his life.

"Oh………err………..yeah, what about it?" he asked.

"So you didn't smoke it?" Kevin asked, hopeful.

Eli shook his head, "I told you, I don't do that shit anymore" he replied, sternly.

"Yeah, yeah……….well can I have it back then? I ran out last night and the pay-check doesn't come in for another week…………."

Eli stared hard into his face, "don't you ever wonder if there's more out there?" he asked, slowly.

Kevin stared right back at him, a dumb delusional expression plastered on his face; "like what?" he asked.

Eli sighed, and ran a hand through his hair: "never mind………….I'll bring the stuff tomorrow…………." He sighed, and got up from his seat.

"I owe you one man!" Kevin called after him as Eli walked behind the counter.

"Eli!"

He looked up, just as he was wrapping an apron around his waist, to see Jake staring at him.

"C'mon Jake, my break was 2 minutes over………….big deal!" Eli sighed.

Jake smiled, "we need to talk" he said, and turned on his heel, heading towards the office.

Eli ripped his apron off, chucking it on the bench, and followed after him, into the office, where Judy was waiting for them.

"Take a seat E" she motioned to a chair opposite both her and Jake's desks.

"Are you firing me?" Eli asked, wearily.

Jake and Judy both laughed softly, "no………..your family……….." Judy said, with a small smile.

Eli took a sigh of relief.

"We just want to cart out off to Philadelphia!" Jake interrupted his relaxed sigh, and Eli looked from Jake's relaxed smile to Judy's eager eyes as they both awaited Eli's words.

"Wh………what?" he stammered.

"We've been offered a deal by a book company called B & J bookstore" Judy started.

"I heard" Eli mumbled, and instantly cursed himself.

"What?" Judy asked, surprised.

"I………..err………….over heard you talking about it………….sorry" he mumbled, feeling his face turn slightly red.

Jake nodded, "so………...?" he urged.

Eli looked up, "Philadelphia?" he repeated.

Judy nodded, and Jake sat back, examining Eli's dropping expression.

"Of course you'd have to talk it over with Rick………and you're mother………" Jake broke the silence, and Eli was grateful for an excuse to not answer straight away.

"Of course" he mumbled.

"Karen will be thrilled!" Judy exclaimed, and Eli meekly looked up at her broad smile, nodding slightly.

"Lets give him some time to think Judy" Jake mumbled, rising from his seat.

Eli did the same, and walked out of the office.

ELI could my life possibly have more twist and turns? It's like a roller coaster!

Just as Eli was about to step out, Jake landed a heavy hand on his shoulder; "we wouldn't be offering this to you if we didn't think you were capable" he said, in a quiet breath, and Eli nodded.

"Have a good night Eli" Jake said, closing the door behind him.


	69. Chapter 69

"ELI!" Grace yelled, dropping her bag heavily on the floor, and peeling off her light coat.

"Eli!" she yelled again, draping her coat over the banister.

She peered into the living room, and was about to walk into the kitchen, when Jessie emerged, with a bowl of ice cream in hand.

She smiled at Grace, "He's not here……….he's working late………." She said, heading into the living room- Grace followed.

"He's what? He didn't tell me that!" she sighed, falling onto the couch beside Jessie "I need a neck rub!" she moaned, resting her head on Jessie's shoulder.

Jessie scooped some of her chocolate mousse ice cream on her spoon and shoved it infront of Grace's face.

Grace gave a small moan and shook her head; Jessie shrugged and shoved the spoon into her mouth instead, smiling at the chocolate sensation.

Grace propped herself up, and looked at Jessie's glowing face; "you seem………." She tried to find the words.

"Happy?" Jessie asked, scooping some more ice cream into her mouth.

Grace nodded, "what happened today that was so great?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jessie looked down at her ice cream, and then back at Grace, with a wide smile; "I walked through the hallway today………..holding Katie's hand………and I never once let it go" she smirked,

Grace opened her mouth, about to say her congratulations, when Rick walked in, holding a bowl of strawberry cream ice cream.

"Oh Grace, your home!" he smiled, looking down at the girls.

She turned around and smiled up at her stepfather, "what's with the ice cream craving?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

RICK & JESSIE (Rick has his arm slung around her shoulder and they are both smiling)

Rick and Jessie exchanged smirks, and Grace knew it was some secret 'father/daughter' language- the sort no one can decode.

"Right" she smiled, getting up from her seat, "I have a ton of homework to do……….." she sighed, stepping aside so Rick could take her seat, "you two enjoy you're ice cream" she smiled.

"We bought an extra tub, if you want some" Rick offered.

Grace shook her head, "No, I don't much feel like ice cream" she turned on her heel and headed up the stairs to her room, hearing Jessie and Rick's voices as she climbed the stairs.

"So tell me more about Katie………." Rick started.

Jessie gave a small laugh, "Well……….she's really beautiful………..and so funny; she always has me in stitches…………she wants to be a fashion designer…………."

Grace smiled as the conversation faded away into silence once her bedroom door closed and she collapsed onto her bed.

She really needed Eli right now, really needed that neck rub he'd promised her.

She knew it wasn't his fault; but the day hadn't gone as he'd promised her it would. And now she needed him here to pick up the pieces, and reassure her that tomorrow would be better.

She peeled off her bed covers, kicked off her shoes, and snuggled down in a clump under the warmth- sighing as she breathed in the heat.

GRACE I really need him here right now. Everything seems so much easier when I talk it out with him! (Looks far off and gives a half smile) I could tell him that the sky was falling and he'd think of some reason why that wasn't such a bad thing!

* * *

Jake studied the piece of paper in his hand, a list of the new books that needed to be shipped; he was walking briskly towards his office, wanting to get the paper work done so he could get home to Tiffany and Caleb. He'd told Judy he'd take care of it all, and so she went home early.

He opened his office door, and looked once more around the empty bookstore before stepping inside. But just as quickly stepped back out, squinting, he looked out into the dim darkness, at one of the coffee tables, where Eli sat with a bowed head.

"E?" Jake called out.

Eli looked up, and then quickly stood.

"Hi Jake" he croaked.

Jake closed his door and walked towards Eli, flicking on a lamp light before approaching the table.

"What are you doing here?" Jake asked, looking down at his watch for a moment, "wont Lily and Rick be worried?" he asked.

"I called dad and told him I was working late"

"Until 9:00?" Jake asked, surprised, "Your shift ended at 8:00!"

Eli looked down and nodded, "Yeah………..and I was going to go home………..but I decided I needed to talk to you first" he looked back up, and Jake motioned for him to sit down; Jake did the same, pulling out a seat for himself.

"What's so important that couldn't wait until tomorrow morning?" he asked, slightly irritated.

"I cant go to Philadelphia" Eli blurted it out; and surprised himself, in his mind he'd subtly slipped it into the conversation, but now, it was out there; and Jake just stared at him.

"Ok" he replied, so simply.

"Ok?" Eli repeated, his eyes widening.

"What do you want me to say?" Jake asked, leaning back in the chair.

Eli blinked, unsure of what to say; "I……….I don't know………." He mumbled.

"It's not my job to force you to take great job opportunities" Jake went on.

"No your right………that's my mums job" Eli muttered.

Jake gave a small laugh and nodded, "so why?" he asked.

Eli stared at him for a moment, the question not registering.

"Why don't you want it?" Jake asked, slowly.

Eli looked down, knowing what the first reason was, but not having the guts to share it with Jake.

ELI I don't want to be so far away from you're daughter.

"Don't want to leave the band behind?" Jake presumed for him.

Eli said nothing for a moment, and then nodded.

"Can't be such a great band mates, if the drummer gave you that?" Jake pointed out, referring to Eli's black eye; which had clamed down a bit since Saturday, but was still obvious.

Eli gave a small laugh and nod, "it's not just that……….." he went on.

"Don't tell me it's because of a girl!" Jake sighed.

Eli hastily looked up, his eyes wide with confusion; Jake saw he'd hit the mark, and shook his head slowly.

"Eli………….let me tell you right now………….you will fall in and out of love a million times before your ready to finally settle down……….."

Eli raised an eyebrow, and Jake gave a half smile; "don't think that she's the only, or last one…………whoever she is………….don't throw everything away for her"

ELI if you only knew who you were talking about.

"But………." Eli tried.

"If a girl is the only thing keeping you here, you should seriously consider if she's worth it………..before you throw away such an opportunity………..and close this door" Jake got up, and walked towards his office.

"Now go home" he mumbled, and closed the door, leaving Eli sitting in a stunned silence.


	70. Chapter 70

"Grace" 

"Mmmm" She rolled over and buried her head deeper into the warmth.

"Gr-ace" Eli whispered, in a singsong tone.

"Hmmm?" She murmured groggily.

Eli moved his head close to hers, breathing in her scent- a warm lavender aroma, he smiled.

"Grace?" he whispered again, this time, tickling her neck with his breath, as his face was so close to hers.

"Mmmm……..Eli………." she mumbled in a sultry breath.

He smiled and let out a small laugh, staring at her soft face pressed against the pillow. Her long eyelashes closed so firmly, refusing to open, her lips a subtle pink.

He brought his head closer, and lingered around those lips, breathing in her scent again before brushing his yearning lips against hers.

Slowly, her eyes opened, and closed just as quickly when she felt his warmth.

He pulled away, the kiss was so soft and so short, and he stared into her eyes, smiling.

"Morning!" he whispered.

Grace smiled in return, and closed her eyes as she allowed her legs to stretch beneath the covers. She hadn't felt Eli's lips against hers in such a long time………..it felt so good………..so right………….but……………

Grace sat up abruptly, pushing the blankets down, she stared accusingly at Eli- "where were you?" she exclaimed.

Eli stood from his crouched position by her bed, and creased his brow; "what do you mean?" he asked.

Grace huffed, "Eli! I had a terrible day………nothing went as you said it would……….and I really needed you when I got home!"

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair; "Oh Grace……….I'm so sorry…………..Jake asked me to work late and I………." He'd thought of a million excuses in his mind whilst driving home, but now, Grace didn't want to hear any of them.

"It's ok" she sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears; she looked up at him and gave a warm smile. She guessed his kiss had put her in a good mood

"So, what was so bad today?" he asked, and her smile faded with the reminder.

She looked down at her hands, "Ayden told everyone………." She whispered, the words stinging.

Eli stared at her, hard, "He what?" Eli's voice was deep and poisonous, filled with anger.

Grace looked up, and shook her head slightly, "Don't get all worked up………..I cant blame him………." She sighed, the truth of those words hurting her.

"I sure as hell can!" Eli replied.

Grace sighed, and got out of bed, walking to her dresser where she stared at herself in the mirror.

"I hurt him…………..and he wanted to hurt me…………." She said, gathering her hair, and piling it into a ponytail.

"So he hurt you?" Eli asked, through gritted teeth.

Grace sighed heavily, and turned to Eli, shaking her head slightly.

"But if he needs to think that he did so he can heal……….then let it be………….."

Eli looked away; "Grace………..if he ever hurts you……….." he started, in a stern husky voice.

Grace quickly walked to him, holding out her hand, she took hold of his, forcing his eyes to meet hers.

"Nothing can hurt me…………."

GRACE now that I have you.

She stopped herself from saying more, and Eli's brow creased; he saw in her eyes that there was something else……….but would she……….

"Now that I have you" she sighed, and a scared smile crossed her face.

GRACE (covers her face with her hands) ohhhh…………

Eli stared into her face for the longest time- and the more silence he echoed, the redder she felt her cheeks turn.

"Oh god………" she sighed heavily, releasing his hand, and turning to the ground.

"No, Grace………." Eli said quickly, a small smile spreading evenly across his lips; he reached out and took her hand.

GRACE (moves her hand over a small bit, to reveal her eye)

She turned back to him, her face now scarlet red, but her lips curving into a relaxed smile as she saw his sincere face.

"What does that mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow mischievously.

"I……….I don't know……….." she huffed, averting her eyes.

Eli cupped both her hands in his, and squeezed them slightly; she looked into his green eyes, and felt the words ease out; without a second thought, everything was in the open.

"That………. I have you……….and we are…………."

"Together?" He asked, maybe a little too quickly.

GRACE (slowly lowers her hands, and gives a small laugh)

Grace and Eli, both with stupid grins across their lips, looked playfully into each other's eyes; both waiting for the other to confirm what they both knew was true.

"You know………this is what I've always wanted……….." Eli finally breathed.

Grace gave a small nod. And looked to the ground for a moment.

GRACE once I do this I cant go back.

ELI I don't want to go back.

She looked up, and searched his face; but words wouldn't come to her, so, instead, she took a step forward; so close to him now, she moved her head to his, their lips a second away and whispered; "I think I want this too"; and she pressed her soft lips hard against his.

GRACE (starts laughing a little bit louder)

ELI (trying to force a smile) Philadelphia

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

ok, I have an ending thought up in my mind. It's a good one, atleast I think so anyway- you might, almost certainly, disagree!

But that's chapters away, live in the now- and please review!

Thanks a ton for all the lovely comments so far.


	71. Chapter 71

**_Starts where 70 left off. And, Eli is still undecided about Philadelphia._**

* * *

Their lips parted, and their eyes locked; in that moment, they both went so deeply inside each other's souls……….and they both knew it………..totally and truly.

"You make me so happy," Eli whispered, huskily, brushing his hand against her cheek.

Grace smiled, and felt her cheeks blush slightly; and beneath his fingers, Eli felt the hot flush, and smiled.

Grace's body pressed against his "but now you realize…………" she whispered, "I'm never going to be able to let you go……….." a small smile danced upon her lips, as she looked into his green eyes.

ELI (bites bottom lip) go? Leave this? Leave everything I've ever wanted………….leave her? And for what? Philadelphia? A career? …………(Raises eyebrow as he thinks over what he's just said) A career? Something I never imagined myself having………….then again………….. I only ever dreamed of having Grace………..and now……….I do…………

Eli's smile had faded somewhere between his thoughts; he blinked, and stared back into Grace's dark eyes, her words hitting him suddenly. He quickly gave a reaction, by leaning down, and kissing her lips, hard, and tightening his grip around her waist, hoping she hadn't noticed the far off gaze.

GRACE this feels………….strangely right……….as though it was meant to be like this the whole time……….and I was just delaying the inevitable.

Eli took her in, kissed her hard and feverishly, not wanting to let her go. And, she replied, running a hand through his hair; her lips were his……….she was his……….they were together.

"GRACE!"

She parted when she heard the yell from down stairs, but Eli didn't want to stop, he tightened his grip, and pushed his lips against hers again.

"Eli………we have to stop………." She murmured, succumbing to his kisses for a moment.

"I cant………" Eli mumbled, parting for only a moment, and then pressing his soft lips against her supple neck, and then wandering towards her lips again.

She giggled slightly, but at the same time, gently pushed him away.

"We have to go downstairs,………" she said, firmly.

Eli, panting, stared back at her; those swollen pink lips, dark brooding eyes, and soft red across her cheeks. She was breath taking, and they were together.

"Your so beautiful" he whispered, and outstretched his hands, cupping her face, and moving closer; he started kissing her strongly again.

"Eli!" she exclaimed, and pulled away, holding out her hands so there was distance between them.

She took small gulps of breath, "we are together……….."

Eli nodded, a small smile playing across his lips at the sound of those words.

"But that doesn't mean we can stop being careful……….we cant let our guard down……….ok?" she made a deep sigh, and ran a hand through her messy hair, "our parents………..they cant know……….not now……..…..!" Eli looked away, her words washing over him, "ok Eli?" she asked, and he turned back to her.

"For how long?" he asked.

Grace opened her mouth, but no words came out; so she simply shrugged.

"I guess we never really thought about the family………and us………." Eli murmured, the new obstacle thinking over in his mind.

"I guess we didn't……….." she agreed, looking down at her feet, and then back at Eli, "I mean………we knew it would be difficult, and awkward………..but we never actually talked about telling them……….about being a couple around them…………."

"GRACE!"

They both turned to her door, and then back to one another. "We're a secret then?" he asked, slowly, and quietly.

"We have to be" Grace bit her bottom lip as she looked at him, seeing their new problem was already hurting him.

She took a step forward, and brushed a hand against his cheek; "lets not focus on the bad right now…………." She murmured, "we are together………." She added, and, with that, he leaned in and kissed her, softly and hastily.

"We better get down there" he murmured, and they both turned to the door.

* * *

Lily pulled her sister into the kitchen, and, before speaking, popped her head out the door to check that Jake was being busily entertained, and was out of hearing distance.

"Lil?……….." Judy raised an eyebrow.

Lily turned to her sister, moving closely so she could whisper; "I presume this is about booklovers?" she asked and Judy nodded. "Ok………..just tell me Jud……….is it going bankrupt?" Lily asked, her voice anxious.

Judy let out a small laugh, "why don't you just wait until Jake tells everyone?" she asked.

Lily sighed, "Jud! If something is happening……...and its bad……….tell me now………ok?"

Judy looked into Lily's concerned eyes, and gave a small nod, "nothing bad, I promise," she said, sincerely.

Lily gave a long sigh of relief, and popped her head back out the door, seeing Grace and Eli walk down the stairs, she ducked back into the kitchen; "ok………good…..….so what is it then?" she asked.

Judy huffed, "Well Lil, get out there, sit down, and let Jake tell you the GOOD news himself!" she replied, tugging on Lily's arm, pulling her into the lounge room.

Jake's head lifted as he saw the two women enter, and Eli and Grace walk down the stairs.

"Good, everyone's here!" he exclaimed.

Grace looked at Eli questioningly, and then to her father; "daddy?" she asked, surprised.

Jake walked towards her, stepping over Jessie and Zoe's legs as they were propped up on the coffee table.

He approached her, kissing her head lightly; "hey hun!" he smiled.

Eli looked at Jake with concern, and then turned to see Judy tugging Lily into the room; he quickly called out to her.

"Judy! Can I talk to you for a sec?" he exclaimed.

Grace quickly looked over as Eli pulled Judy into the kitchen, but then focussed back on her father.

"What's this about?" she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

"You'll soon find out!" he said, leading her into the lounge.

Tiffany was sitting in one of the large chairs, one-year-old Domonique in her hands, bundled up in a navy blue blanket.

"Oh! Dommy! Tiffany!" Grace exclaimed, walking towards her.

* * *

"So, you don't want us to tell them yet?" Judy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Eli shook his head, "I just think I should tell them first……….ok?"

Judy nodded, and watched as Eli hastily left the kitchen, Judy soon followed, and announced, "Ok everyone……….suspense is over…………."

Jake smiled, and took his stand infront of the fireplace, motioning for Judy to do the same.

"What's this about Jake?" Lily asked quickly, as she snuggled up close to Rick on the big couch, Zoe and Jessie beside them.

"The business isn't closing……….is ti?" Grace asked, creasing her brow, as she stood beside the chair Tiffany and Domonique were sitting in.

"Oh Jake!" Tiffany exclaimed.

Jake threw his hands in the air, "you all have such little faith………no! The business is not closing………..quite the opposite actually!" he smiled wickedly, knowing he had the family in suspense.

Grace looked towards Eli, who was leaning against the wall, his head bowed slightly.

"So tell us already!" Zoe yelled out, and Jake laughed.

"OK! Ok!" he calmed her, "but I think its only fair that the master mind behind booklovers be the one to tell you all!" he replied, and stepped over slightly, so Judy was in full view of everyone.

"Oh ok…………." She smiled nervously, looking around the room; she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Grace turned back to Judy, as she started to explain; "well……….you know the English company B & J Bookstore?"

"Of course!" Lily exclaimed, "Never heard of them" Rick shook his head, and Lily jabbed him softly in the ribs.

"Anyway…………." Judy went on, ignoring Rick, "they contacted us and offered us a huge amount of money to buy the lay out to Booklovers, and have us as partners when they spread out to America……….Philadelphia specifically…………so they will be known as B & J booklovers!" Judy smiled stupidly.

"Eli?" Jake asked, and Eli's head shot up "do you have more to………." Jake began, but Judy elbowed him in the ribs, something that didn't go unseen by Grace.

Jake understood, and quickly changed the subject "7.8 million, did we mention they are offering us 7.8 million!" he exclaimed, and squeals soon followed.

Everyone jumped out of their seats, ecstatic with the news. But Grace continued to stare at Eli, and his bowed head, which lifted after a moment.

ELI does she know?

He turned to her, and their eyes locked for the longest time………..

ELI she knows?

Finally, Grace gave a small smile; which she had to break as Jessie pulled her up from where she was sitting, forcing her to join in the family's happiness.

Eli gave a small sigh of relief, and looked towards the huddled family. He had to give a small smile as he watched Lily and Judy squeal loudly as they hugged and twirled around in circles.

But still……….the whole time……..he couldn't help thinking………

ELI what about Philadelphia?

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

Ok, I could not for the life of me, remember Jake and Tiffany's babies name. So, in this fic, from here on in, it's called Domonique! Ok? Cool! And thanks soooooooooo much for all the classic reviews!

Aren't I doing well with the chapters? (And, no Netty- I'm not high………I'm just on a roll, lol)

Bit of pressure in school at the moment, so I might not be so frequent in the chapters, but keep you're fingers crossed!


	72. Chapter 72

"A little black Gucci dress!" Judy exclaimed, passing the bottle of wine to Lily, who took a gulp. 

"Renovate the kitchen!" She sighed dreamily after her swig, and handed the bottle to Tiffany.

"Buy a two-storey house!" Tiffany giggled after her mouthful of red wine.

The three women laughed boisterously as they sat sprawled out on Lily's couch, their legs draped over one another.

"You can tell you're the single one out of us three……….." Lily smiled, turning to her sister.

Judy gave a small grin, "mmm……….a dress does seem substantially small compared to a house and massive renovations!" she sighed.

"No!" Tiffany exclaimed, squirming as she tried to sit up. She stared at Judy with big eyes, big, glazed eyes. "It's not just an dress……….it's a………."

"Little-black-Gucci-dress!" all three women chimed in; and collapsed in a loud, heap of squealing laughter.

Jessie walked into the lounge just as the laughs heightened, she glanced at the three hyena's, and shook her head with a smile.

She quickly scanned the room, but when she couldn't find the phone, she hurriedly left, walking into the dining room instead, where Jake and Rick were examining the blue prints that were covering the table.

"I didn't think this worked last time………..it looked too cluttered…………." Rick said, pointing to the paper.

Jake 'ummed' and 'arred', then finally nodded.

Jessie couldn't see the phone amongst the papers, so she gave up, and headed back to Eli's garage.

She opened the door, to find Grace and Eli on the bed, Eli sitting up right, with Grace leaning against him, her head on his chest.

"No luck?" Grace asked, knowing it was Jessie.

"Nope……….and I really wanted to call Katie and tell her the good news!" Jessie sighed.

Eli flinched when Jessie mentioned her girlfriends name; to be honest, the idea of his little sister with another girl made him feel uncomfortable. Not ashamed. Just………..uncomfortable………….

Jessie looked down at her feet, and then back at the couple, "I wanted to mention the bookstore aswell" she smirked.

Grace adjusted herself so she could see Jessie; she flashed her a huge smile, and Jessie turned, heading for the door.

"I'm going to bed," she murmured.

"Night Jess" Grace mumbled in reply, as she nestled into Eli's chest again, his arms wrapping around her curled body.

"I should leave soon aswell…………." She murmured, closing her heavy eyes.

"If I let you……….." Eli replied, and Grace let out a small laugh.

"What happens now Eli?" she asked, and the question through him off guard.

"I don't know………"

"I mean, it's not as though we can really be a normal couple………." Grace continued, Eli looked down at her face, eyes closed, and he gave a small nod.

"I guess not," he murmured.

Her eyes opened, and connected with his, "we could always wait until I was 18 to tell our parents………….." she smiled.

"Why 18?" he asked.

She let out a small laugh, "that way we could travel to Las Vegas and get hitched……….they couldn't stop us………….."

Eli let out a breath of laughter, "let's call that plan B," he murmured.

Grace nodded, and closed her eyes again; "so what's plan A then?" she asked, after a moment.

Eli felt his body tense, "I guess we just…………be a couple………….without anyone knowing…………." He sighed.

Grace's eyes opened as she felt his heavy breath, her brow creased as she pressed her ear against his chest; and felt his heart pounding increase slightly.

GRACE is it possible that he didn't think of all the consequences………..the consequences of having………..me?

"I should leave…………." Grace spoke softly, untangling herself from Eli's embrace. He didn't try and stop her, instead, he watched her as she stood up, and walked slowly towards the door.

"Goodnight Eli" she murmured, placing her hand on the door handle.

GRACE somehow I thought that when I admitted to my feelings for Eli……….everything would be alright……….the chaos of my life would calm down because I would be with him………….but now………we are together……….and it feels like something is missing…………..

"Wait" Eli whispered, so softly, Grace wasn't even sure if she'd heard him. He wasn't too convincing in that he wanted her to stay, but she turned around, never the less.

GRACE maybe it's not something missing…………maybe we're just finding that 'us' will take a lot more than we thought………..

Eli slowly rose from the bed, and stood awkwardly, looking at Grace, a large gap of space between them.

"This doesn't feel right, does it?" he asked, slowly.

Grace looked down at her feet, "It's not that it doesn't feel right……….it just………..doesn't feel the way I thought it would……….." she murmured in reply.

ELI should I end this now? Before there's too much pain………?

He looked down at his feet; both, now, avoiding each other's eyes.

"Your right……….." he spoke with a slight shake in his tone.

ELI I've come this far……….and caused enough pain already……….but I could end it now……….deal with the hurt I've caused………..at least that would be easier fixed than keeping this thing going………….

Grace looked up, her eyes big, but refusing to cry; "I thought we'd be happy………because we'd be together" she whispered.

"Me too" was the weak reply.

"Instead we've had to face facts……….our relationship wouldn't be a normal one……….far from it……….we'd have to hide it from all the people we love………..that's almost as bad as hiding it from ourselves" her voice was surprisingly strong, not faltering, only speaking the truth.

ELI I could end this now……….move to Philadelphia without any attachments………….or……….. I could live out this dream with her………..for as little time as we had………….move to Philadelphia………..or…………..stay………..

"I know" Eli replied, creasing his brow.

"And the surprising thing is……….I'm ok with that…………."

Eli looked up, at Grace, who was staring right back at him, challenging him to look away- he didn't.

"It's you that's pulling away before anything's actually starting between us………….. I can feel it………..and I know you can too……….."

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and continued; "you're the one that wanted me………..you're the one who pursued me…………..and now that you have me………..you don't want me?" the last words caused her tone to waver slightly.

ELI or………. I could play this by heart………….go in knowing what the outcome could be…………..

Grace looked at Eli for the longest time; not quite believing the silence that engulfed her………..he said nothing……….only stared back at her; and she felt her heart sink. 'So this is over'? She asked herself.

"That's not it" he finally spoke.

She let out a sigh of relief.

"Its like……….to begin with, I was afraid to hold you…………." Eli murmured, not sure if he wanted to say the words………..but said them anyway…………

"And when I held you……….. I was afraid to kiss you…………."

Grace bit her bottom lip, feeling her eyes well.

"Now that I've kissed you………..I'm afraid……….."

He took a few steps forward, until he was standing so close to her, he outstretched a hand, and smoothed it across her cheek.

"………..I'm afraid to lose you……….." he whispered.

Grace allowed herself a small smile, and flung her arms around him, holding him so close; Eli wrapped his arms around her aswell.

ELI no turning back now………….whatever happens next………..it's going to hurt her……….

"That'll never happen" she whispered in his ear, tightening her embrace,

ELI (looks guiltily into camera) no………..you might lose me………….


	73. Chapter 73

His lips were moist and warm, as they pressed against hers, softly at first, and then harder as they both melted into the kiss.

His hand roamed up her curvy side, and came to rest on her hip, squeezing it slightly- she squirmed, and broke away from his lips for just a moment, so he could see her smile, and then she connected with his feverish lips again.

But all too quickly, they had to pull apart, as the sound of the fridge door closing, broke into the lounge room.

They both ventured down to either side of the couch, and plastered their eyes to the television; Oprah was on; one of those 'summer movie must sees' specials.

"Here you go" Lily said, as she approached the couch; she handed Grace a can of coke, which Grace took and popped open- taking a long gulp.

Lily snuggled back into the single chair, and started picking at the grapes she'd just brought in from the kitchen.

"Sorry E, there are no more of those potato chips left that you like" she said, turning to Eli, noticing his flushed face.

Eli turned to her, and gave a nervous nod, "that's ok" he murmured, and turned back to the t.v.

"I looked everywhere…………." Lily mumbled, as she focussed back on Oprah; "what did I miss?" she whispered to Grace.

Grace cleared her throat, "err………she's about to review the Ya-Ya"

"Ooohhh!" Lily exclaimed, adjusting in her seat, eager eyes peered at the television.

"The what-what?" Eli scoffed, turning to Grace.

Lily zoned them both out as Oprah started talking about how the movie changed her life- as all movies do…………..Lily wondered if 'dude where's my car' had even had some profound impact on Oprah's life.

"Divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood!" Grace replied, tossing him a side ways glance………….and the smallest of smiles.

"A chick flick?" Eli huffed, fidgeting in his seat.

"What makes you assume it's a chick flick?" Grace retorted, sending Eli an icy glance.

He didn't bother to look back at her; "Well for one………..Oprah is reviewing it!…………." He replied simply.

"So?" Grace asked, quickly.

Eli sighed, and turned to her, unable to stop his eyes from laughing as he spoke in a poisonous tone; "Is Meg Ryan in it?" he asked, slowly.

Grace raised an eyebrow, "No!" she said, matter-of-factly.

"Well then that means Sandra Bullock is in it………..and therefore……….it's a chick flick!" Eli turned away form her, back to the t.v.

Lily had just heard Eli's remark as an add break came on, so she turned to them, knowing a fight was likely to begin; but not having the energy to stop it.

Grace adjusted in her seat, turning her body to Eli, forcing back a smile; "that was such a male thing to say!" she spat, a hint of laughter in her voice.

"Well I am a male Grace……….incase you've failed to notice!" Eli retorted, and Grace broke out into the smallest of smiles.

GRACE as if I haven't noticed!

"And any Sandra Bullock film is a chick flick…….…..incase you haven't noticed that either!" he added.

"And you wouldn't see it because it's a chick flick?" she asked.

"No!" Eli replied quickly.

"Why not?" Grace asked, with an icy tone.

Eli turned to her, a bored expression on his face; "because I can tell you right now what would happen………….."

Grace sat back, urging him to continue.

"Somebody would die……….there'd be a lot of crying………..and a lot of 'deep and meaningful', long winded speeches………..and in the end everyone would live happily ever after and go home with a deeper respect for life………….the end!"

Grace huffed, and turned back to the t.v.

"Thankyou! I know I am right……….now change the channel!" Eli remarked, triumphantly.

Lily sank down lower into the couch as she saw the dark shadow come across her daughter's face; Eli was going to get a mouth full!

She turned to Eli, "No………..if you don't want to watch this than you can just go away!"

Eli stared her down, "no……… I was right………….the ying-yang or whatever, is a waste of time film……….and I don't want to watch the review of it……….so change the channel!"

"NO ELI!" she practically yelled back.

"Change the channel Grace!" he replied.

"NO!" this time she did yell…………..

Eli got up, and looked down at her; "spoilt little brat!" he scoffed, and turned, heading for the garage.

Grace sank back down into her seat, and turned the volume up on the tv; refusing to meet her mother's eyes that were burning a hole into her.

"Grace" Lily finally said, softly.

"I know!" Grace said quickly.

"Go and apologize then!" Lily ordered gently.

Grace sighed and slowly rose from her seat, "fine!" she mumbled, as she headed after Eli.

LILY always at each other's throats!

Lily settled back into the couch, completely enthralled in the television as Ashley Judd walked on stage, and kissed Oprah's cheek- Lily smiled, chick flick or not……….she was definitely dragging Judy to see ya-ya!

* * *

Grace didn't bother knocking; she instantly twisted the handle and gently pushed it open.

Before she was even half way inside, Eli had stepped infront of her, taken hold of her hand, drawing her close- he bent down and kissed her lips passionately- fumbling with his foot to close the door, with a slam.

Grace's hands ran through his ruffled hair, as she pressed her lips against his- feeling that warmth again………..she delighted in it……….in him.

Eli pulled apart for a moment, cupping her face, he looked into her eyes, and while he spoke, he slowly walked backwards, towards his bed- and Grace followed, walking forward, careful not to trip him up.

"I was going mad………." He murmured, bending his head down to kiss her neck- while still stepping back.

Grace laughed as his lips tickled, "I got here in 3 minutes……….." she mumbled, running her hands through his hair again.

Eli pulled away, taking in her perfect face- "I know………and I was going MAD!" he smiled, and lowered his lips against hers.

His feet hit the edge of the bed, and Grace's arms wrapped around his middle, incase he fell back.

He pulled away, but still held her face- she could see his widespread smile as his eyes peered into hers.

In one swift move, almost like a dance step, he twisted his body, and Grace's at the same time- so they swapped positions, and Grace's feet were against the bed frame.

She let out a small laugh as his hands wandered over her hips, lifting up her baby blue top slightly, they ran against her bare skin and tickled.

He kissed her lips again, unable to keep away from them- and her arms wrapped around his neck gently, resting in the nook at the back of his neck.

His hands tenderly squeezed her hips, and she pulled away from his body- as she slowly lowered herself onto his bed.

She didn't take her eyes away from his though, they connected with him the whole time as her body adjusted- and he looked down at her, as she lay on his bed before him.

He felt that urge again- that came every time he saw Grace………..or even thought about her………..so quickly, he bent down onto the bed, creeping forward until his body was suspended above hers, and his face was directly above hers.

The urge was strong now, in his body- so he quickly lowered his lips against hers, and she cupped his face, pressing it against hers, engulfing herself in the kiss.

As their embrace went on for a few more seconds, Eli aloud his body to sink into Grace's, so his arms weren't holding him up.

Their kiss deepened, and Eli couldn't help one of his hands from wandering up her baby blue shirt………..softly brushing against her stomach at first, and then sneaking further up, until he felt her pink lace bra.

He rested his hand against one of her breasts, knowing he couldn't unhook her bra while she was lying down- her hands gently brushed against his face, urging the kiss to continue- while Eli's hand ambled down her stomach again, and to the rim of her jeans.

His hands tucked under the border of her pants, but before anything else could happen- he felt Grace's soft hand pulling him out.

She didn't say anything, the whole time her lips never once parted from Eli's, but he felt her body tense slightly beneath him.

ELI we've been keeping this up for 5 days now………….and the last thing I could imagine doing is pressuring her into……….anything………….

GRACE sex isn't just 'anything'……….it's 'everything'………it's………it's………….(throws hand in air) I don't really know what it is………….but it still scares the hell out of me!

Her kissed became clumsy, and her body tightened- Eli had to stop, though it was hard……..his body still 'wanting' her and all……….but he sat up none the less, and looked down at Grace's face.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"Don't be……… I was being the typical hormone driven male………." Eli sighed, resting a hand on her stomach.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

Grace's hands brushed against his as it sat, flat on her tummy; "do you hate me?" she asked, in a small voice.

Eli's brow creased, he lifted his hand up, and took hold of one of hers; bringing it to his lips, and kissing it gently.

"Don't ever say that!" he said, sternly and quietly.

Grace sighed; "what was you're first time like?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

Eli sighed, and leaned his back against the wall adjacent to his bed; "you don't want to know that…………." He said, knowing her so well.

Grace sat up, scooting over so she was beside Eli, leaning against the wall aswell; "I'm scared Eli" she whispered.

He looked at her, his eyes big and confused, "And I'm in love………..that's two lethal combinations……….." he murmured.

Grace nodded, unable to say the words that were dancing on the tip of her tongue, "I just want to know that sex isn't………..isn't so scary……….you know?"

Eli nodded, "Well I can only give you the male point of view…………."

Grace nodded, and Eli continued.

"With Jennifer…………. I did love her……….and I wanted to for the longest time………….but she was scared" he couldn't help shooting Grace a sideways glance; "we ended up breaking up because of it……….because she thought I wanted to, and that I was pressuring her………but in reality, while I wanted to, I would have waited for as long as she needed……….."

"You broke up?" Grace asked, surprised that they hadn't had sex while still together.

Eli nodded, "it was a few weeks after we broke up, that she realized she wanted to- we went back to my dads place……….." he eloquently left out the 'in-between' bit; "my dad came home early and she had to leave quickly……….."

"Did you still love her when you had sex with her?" Grace asked, slowly.

Eli didn't want to say that he still loved her, that a small part of him always would because she was his 'first'. His first love, first girlfriend……….first time………..then again, he still loved Carla aswell………..only a bit though………and he wasn't even sure why, because she had hurt him so much.

Eli felt that a part of him would love Grace forever aswell; and he felt comforted by that.

"Not to sound male, but I guess I was 'over her'………..after she hurt me………. I moved on……….so no………when we had sex………my heart wasn't totally in it" he sighed, regretting the past a small bit.

Silence fell upon them, and Eli finally found the courage; "am I pressuring you?" he asked, slowly.

Grace remained silent for a few seconds, "I think I'm sending you all my confused signals……….."

Eli sighed, "I am so sorry Grace!"

"It's ok………..just……….." she turned to him, resting her head against his chest, "just slow down a bit……….ok?"

Eli stroked her hair for a moment; "I am sorry" he spoke again.

Grace nodded, "I know," she murmured.

"You just drive me crazy……….you know that?" he smiled, and Grace squeezed his side, causing him to fidget.

"I can wait forever to be with you……….." he added after a moment; and Grace slowly pulled away from his chest, connecting with his lips again in a perfect kiss.

"Thankyou" she smiled, and leaned into him again.

ELI not that we have forever………….

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE **

****I know! I'm a horrible person! But I made up the lack of chapters, with an extra-long chapter, ok?


	74. Chapter 74

Eli cringed as he felt Jake's presence beside him, looking over his shoulder as he wiped the bench down.

"Hey E" Jake said calmly.

Eli looked over his shoulder, and gave a small nod; but quickly returned to wiping the bench.

"Eli………." Jake spoke cautiously; "I need a decision by next week…………." He allowed his voice to linger.

Eli sighed and turned around, throwing the cloth on the table; "I know Jake" he nodded slowly, "but………. I'm thinking my definite answer might be a no"

Jake stared at Eli for the longest time; making him feel even more uncomfortable than usual.

"I used to be like you………….." Jake finally sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Eli raised an eyebrow, and Jake gave a small, breathless laugh; "that was the first thing I thought when I first met you…………..'This is me 20 years ago!'………………."

Eli gave an unsure smile, and crossed his arms over his chest while Jake continued.

"What I'm saying is…………..when I was your age I made a lot of stupid mistakes………….." Jake got that far-off look in his eye, but Eli quickly cleared his throat and that seemed to snap him back into reality.

"A lot of mistakes………..more than I'd care to admit to………..and every now and then I refused opportunities that came my way……….opportunities that could have given me a totally different life…………. " That far off look came again, and went just as quickly; "Eli……….incase you haven't already clicked……….this is a huge opportunity……….and I don't think your considering the possibilities!"

Eli had nothing to say; Jake was right. He hadn't really considered the possibilities. Sure, he knew it would be great for him- the money, the work……….and everything else that came with being a manager of a large company.

But he couldn't look past what he'd be leaving behind……….who he'd be leaving behind………..

"Is this still about that girl?" Jake asked, a hint of anger in his tone.

Eli didn't say anything, as 'that girl's' face flashed in his mind.

"Geez Eli…………." Jake shook his head, "I couldn't think of a worse excuse to turn your back on a future……….."

He didn't say any more; he'd said more than enough. And that last point lingered in Eli's mind- tossed and turned uncomfortably.

Jake gave a small shake of his head, and turned, walking away from Eli's big eyes.

ELI what if she is my future?

* * *

ELI Philadelphia holds so many possibilities. Has so much to offer………..but so does Grace. She was my only possibility a few months ago……….all I wanted was her……….and now that I have her………….what? I want to hurt her and leave? (Shakes his head) I just don't………..(there comes a knock at the door)

Eli's eyes opened, the knocking started again, so he moved himself. Crawling out of bed, and walking to the door.

He opened it slowly, but was confronted with Grace's body lunging at him- her lips finding their mark against his.

She pressed against him; so used to the feeling of their two bodies fused together; it brought her comfort to be like this.

He clumsily untangled himself from her embrace, and she was forced to step back.

"Grace!" he spoke anxiously, quickly closing the door behind her.

"Relax! Mum and Rick are up stairs………..they just got home………..and decided they want to go out for dinner!" She smiled widely, staring back at Eli, waiting for him to do the same.

"We have the house to ourselves?" he asked, slowly.

Grace crept forward, moving her face close to his; "well…………Jessie and Zoe………….and Katie aswell………….." she spoke softly, and then allowed her lips to brush against his.

He tried to kiss her back- but to tell the truth, he wanted to just lie on his bed tonight- and think……….really think………..about the opportunities and Philadelphia…………

He pulled away, and Grace stared wanderingly into his eyes.

"What?" she asked, softly.

Eli blinked, as a million excuses ran through his mind; "nothing………. I just………….wasn't expecting this" he murmured.

Grace gave a small smile, and leaned into him, kissing him hard- and then pulling away- "oh! Believe it!" she giggled.

* * *

"I am really sorry to throw this on you both……….." Lily spoke as she pulled her coat on.

"Don't worry mum" Grace smiled, "we'll be fine"- she shot Eli a quick smile.

"Sure?" Rick asked, looking Eli in the eye.

Eli nodded, "No problems……….we promise……….." he assured his father.

"Ok then……….. I don't know what time we'll be back" Rick bustled Lily out the door, turning around before he walked out aswell; "probably around 11:00, ok?"

Grace and Eli both nodded- and watched as the door closed.

"Do they know Katie is coming over?" Eli asked, turning to Grace, who shook her head; "she'll be gone before 11" she replied.

Before Eli could ask more, Grace had tucked her arms around him- and was leaning in for another kiss.

What could he do but react, by kissing her back?

ELI do I want to give this up? Moments like these? Kisses like this one…………..?"

He creased his brow, and tried to calm the menacing thoughts in his head as he held Grace close. But they didn't let up.

ELI maybe we could keep this going………..while she finished school………..and I live in Philadelphia……….seeing each other on the………..holidays………..

It was no use, he couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities……….until……….there came a knock at the door- and Eli gratefully pulled away from the kiss- heading to the door and opening it.

"Hey E!" Katie beamed as she walked inside.

"Hey" Eli mumbled, closing the door behind her.

Now, not only would he have thoughts of Grace and Philadelphia on his mind- but the idea of Jessie and Katie………..alone……….upstairs in Jessie's room.

His sister being a lesbian was something Eli was still struggling with. Something he thought he would never overcome.

"She's upstairs" Grace smiled, and watched as Katie practically ran up to Jessie's room.

Eli watched her aswell, and then looked back at Grace- unable to clear his mind as he gazed at her soft, angelic face.

"We need to talk…………." The words leaked out of him- and were now spilled water, as Grace turned to him- aware of the menacing tone in his voice.

"O-k" she replied, unsure.

Eli reached out, taking her hand- and lead her towards his room.


	75. Chapter 75

"Jessie?"

Katie walked slowly up the stairs that led to Jessie's room, unable to hear any movement.

"I'm here" Jessie called out.

Katie stood at the top of the staircase, and looked over to the bed, where Jessie lay with a book in hand.

Katie smiled, and walked over to her, lying down beside her.

Jessie looked over and smiled and Katie, leaning in for a quick kiss; "you look beautiful," Jessie whispered.

"So do you" Katie smiled, leaning in for another kiss; "I missed you," she murmured when they pulled away.

"My parents wont be back till 11" Jessie smiled, tucking the book underneath her covers.

Katie adjusted her body, so that her head was resting against Jessie's chest; after a moment she felt Jessie's hand softly run through her hair soothingly.

"I have you all to myself?" Katie asked, smiling.

"Sure do" Jessie giggled, running her hands through Katie's brown hair.

* * *

"Tell me this is nothing serious………." Grace pleaded, as she watched Eli pace around his room- she stared at him, wide eyed, from where she at the edge of his bed.

Eli stopped walking for a moment, but continued to look at the ground as he answered her; "It……….kinda is………….." he murmured.

"Oh……… I was really hoping you weren't going to say that………." She mumbled, sinking into his pillows.

"Sorry" Eli replied, not bothering to glance at her distressed face.

"Well………..can you just tell me now…………..because watching you go back and forth is giving me a headache!" she sighed, and lifted her head to look at him.

ELI just say it……….stop prolonging the inevitable and say it………..say it!

"Grace………….I…………….." Eli stammered, unable to look into her eyes as he spoke, he continued to study the carpet.

"I love you"

Eli's head shot up, his eyes roaming Grace's horrified face as she sat- staring at him with those big brown eyes, looking about ready to start bawling.

And then, Eli said the one thing you never want to hear after saying those three all-important words………….

"What?"

Grace's head bowed, and Eli watched as her hand rose to her eyes, and swiped a tear away. He stood, frozen, the speech he had perfected in his mind had completely left his mouth- as he watched Grace, sit there so small and fragile……….after saying……….those words………..

"I……….I'm sorry……….." Eli found himself stammering.

Grace's head lifted.

"What did you say?" he asked slowly.

Grace sighed, flinging her hands in the air in a disgraced motion; she swiped at more tears.

"God Eli………..I wasn't expecting……….that!" she mumbled through broken tears.

"What?" Eli asked again, looking as Grace struggled with more, soft tears; but the thought of actually going to her side and comforting her never crossing his mind!

"I………….I don't know why………." Grace sighed, "Well I know WHY I said it, I just don't know why I said it now…………." She looked into Eli's eyes wearily, "I have sucky timing!" she mumbled.

"Well……….why………..you…………." Eli sighed, frustrated with his ramblings; "you said you love me?" he practically yelled.

Grace turned away, so confused by Eli's tone.

Eli bowed his head, realizing he wasn't acting so pleasantly; "sorry" he mumbled.

Grace turned back to him, no more tears shimmering in her swollen eyes; now, Eli could only see anger.

"I said…………." Grace spoke coldly, "I LOVE YOU!" she practically screamed at him, changing her pitch made Eli blink hard, and then turn away from her face.

Grace sighed and shook her head in disgust; "I kinda thought that when I actually allowed myself to say those words, you'd take it……….." she looked intensely at his face, "differently" she spat the last word out.

Eli glanced at her stern face from the corner of his eye, his brow creasing as he played over what had just happened.

ELI why cant things just go the way I plan? Just once? ………..why does Grace have to love me?

Frustrated, he rose from the bed, and walked to the small window at the opposite end of the garage.

ELI why do I have to love her?

"This would be so much easier if you didn't just say that…………." Eli muttered.

"What?" Grace asked quickly.

Eli turned around, her eyes wide and glaring as she awaited an answer.

"What would be easier?" she urged.

Eli sighed and turned away from her again.

"Oh no Eli!" she yelled, "You cant do that!……….you cant turn away from me!"

When Eli turned back, he found that Grace was standing, and was only a few steps away from him.

"I am sorry that I just said what I said…………. I know you have something really big to tell me………..and I know it's difficult for you, by me………saying………what I said………." Grace refused to repeat those words again, those words that had created this chasm between them in a matter of minutes.

"But I said them because…………. I got this strange feeling that what you were going to say is going to change us………..!"

Eli turned back to her, his eyes sad, and frustrated at the same time.

Grace's face dropped, lost its angry edge as she looked into his saddened eyes: "I'm right, aren't I?" she asked, in a small voice; "something's happened………or going to happen……….to us?"

Eli gave a small nod.

Grace gave a shaky sigh, as though she was struggling to fight back tears, she ran a hand through her hair; "I knew it!" she breathed.

"I'm sorry Grace" Eli said, quietly.

Grace bowed her head, "this is exactly why I said it! Because……….." she looked up, searching his face, "I meant it Eli………. I really do love you. I've loved you from the moment I saw you, 2 years ago now………. I loved you when I knew nothing could happen between us………..and I loved you even more when I tried to fight it!" she took a small breath, "and I love you so much now that I have you……….now that we have us………..against all odds………….and I don't want to lose you!"

ELI don't……….don't……….

Eli turned away for a moment; knowing he could do two things now.

He could tell Grace about Philadelphia, and crush her………..or………..he could not tell her, and just say…………..

"I've waited so long to hear you say that"

He turned back to her, comforted to see a small smile tugging at her lips; "because I have loved you for the longest time………" he added, quietly.

Grace let out a small, excited breath; "I love you so much Eli Sammler!" she said, with a grin.

Eli allowed a small smile to spread across his lips; he effortlessly opened his arms, and Grace ran into them- their lips connecting as his arms enclosed safely around her.

ELI why do I have to love her so much?

Grace pulled away, staring into Eli's face, tears streaming down her face.

"I was so scared to say that I loved you………." She murmured.

"Why?" Eli asked, quietly.

Grace smiled, "Because then I'd know……….that I had fallen for you……...completely and totally………..no turning back"

ELI oh………no………..

Eli forced a smile, and pushed Philadelphia to the back of his mind; "I fell for you along time ago!" he murmured.

Grace's lips played against his, tempting him, but not kissing; "I love you so much………completely………..and totally" she murmured huskily, and pressed his lips against his, in a feverish kiss.

Eli's arms tightened around her curvy middle, holding her tight, not wanting to let her go………because he knew………eventually………in the distant future……...he would………..

Grace pulled away, looking into his eyes, those deep eyes.


	76. Chapter 76

Jessie bent down, and kissed Zoe's forehead lightly "night" she whispered.

"Where are Grace and Eli?" Zoe asked, dreamily; "they didn't have dinner," she added, rolling over.

Jessie gave a small smile, "oh……….they were both tired………and went to bed early………." She lied, and quietly walked out of Zoe's room.

"They always go to bed early these days," Zoe mumbled; rolling over wearily, sleep already engulfing her.

Jessie let out a small giggle as she closed the door, and headed back up to her room.

When she got to the top of her staircase, she looked at Katie's body, sprawled out on her bed, reading the book Jessie had tucked beneath the covers.

"Zoe asleep?" Katie asked, without raising her head.

"Yep" Jessie replied, walking over to her chest of drawers, she stared in the mirror above the wooden chest, examining the bags under her eyes.

Katie looked up from the book, and glanced at her watch, it was only 8:45.

She looked up and gave a weary smile as she watched Jessie brush a finger against the barely visible dark bags beneath her eyes.

Katie clambered up from the bed, and walked to Jessie, wrapping two arms around her waist, fitting her petite body perfectly; Katie pressed her mouth against her neck, smiling when she felt Jessie giggle, the vibrations creeping up her throat.

"You look so good" Katie smiled, pulling away, resting her head on Jessie's shoulder and staring at their portrait in Jessie's mirror.

Jessie smiled, and reached up, brushing a hand against Katie's soft cheek; "I love you," she whispered.

Katie's head leaned into Jessie's hand, "I love you more" she replied, softly.

JESSIE its amazing how those words seem to be more true……….more than they ever were………..

Jessie turned around slowly, and pressed her body against Katie's; her arms still holding Jessie's waist.

"I love the way we are" Jessie whispered huskily.

"Me too" Katie replied, her hand creeping up Jessie's back, rubbing it soothingly.

Jessie's head slowly lifted, her lips brushing Katie's gently; their eyes locked in a deep embrace, and without realizing it, Jessie's hand had creeped underneath Katie's baby pink t-shirt, her fingers tracing her stomach.

Jessie tilted her head to the side, and moved closer, kissing Katie's neck; once, twice, and the third time Katie let out a small moan.

Jessie stopped, looking back into her face; but Katie's eyes were closed, and she was biting her lower lip.

"Don't stop," she whispered breathlessly.

Jessie's hands roamed Katie's chest, brushing against her lace bra.

"I want to" Jessie whispered, the words slipping out so easily; she concentrated on Katie's face, her eyes opening abruptly.

"What?" she whispered.

Jessie was silent for a moment, and then found more words somewhere inside herself; "I want to make love to you………" she replied, in a shaky tone.

Katie blinked, but didn't turn away from Jessie's eyes, "are……….are you sure?" she asked.

Jessie said nothing, only moved her lips up against Katie's, kissing them feverishly.

But Katie pulled away, and Jessie felt her cheeks flush red as she stared, clumsily into Katie's eyes; so unsure of what she was thinking………..why she pulled away………….

"Maybe we should………." Jessie felt her heart stop, as Katie's mouth opened; "……….go on the bed?" she finally spoke, and Jessie let out a small sigh of relief.

Her hands slowly slipped out from underneath her top, and she gave the smallest nod.

Katie lowered her head, brushing her lips against Jessie's, she groped around for her hand, and, taking it in her own, led her towards the bed- the whole time their lips roamed one another's in gentle kisses.

"Jessie………." Katie parted for a moment, before lowering her body onto the bed.

"Mmmm?" Jessie murmured

"I'm scared…………."

Jessie opened her eyes, and pulled away so she could look into Katie's face; she reached up, and brushed a hand against her cheek

"Me too" she replied, both girls embraced one another, and, eventually, lowered their entwined bodies onto the bed.

They held each other for the longest time, in the dark, staring into each other's barely visible faces.

JESSIE I just know this is right……….

"Katie?" Jessie broke the still silence, and Katie shifted slightly within her arms.

"I do love you," she said, after a breath, and she felt Katie tense, then there was silence.

"I know you do" she finally replied, after a long time.

"Then why…………….?" Jessie asked, almost pleaded.

Katie sighed, and began to slowly rub Jessie's back again; "I think………..because………..I'm not scared………." She replied, huskily.

Jessie didn't understand, if Katie wasn't scared, then why were they just lying here? Why couldn't Jessie love her? Like she yearned to?

"You said you were……….." Jessie said, shakily.

Katie gave a small nod, "I'm not scared………..because having sex with you feels so right………..just being with you feels right………..and I'm scared because I'm so sure about us……….. and it feels as though being so completely sure is………scary……….you know?"

Jessie did, she understood Katie completely and totally; so, she leaned in, and kissed her on the forehead, and when she pulled away, her lips roamed down to her cheeks, and then connected with her lips.

Katie kissed her back, softly at first, and then harder; and soon both girls were in a feverish embrace………….and it wasn't scary……….it was

JESSIE perfect.


	77. Chapter 77

"We haven't been going so smoothly………..have we?"

Eli fidgeted slightly, and Grace knew what his reply was, without him having to say a word.

"That scares me……….." Grace murmured, looking down at her hands.

"It scares me too," Eli mumbled in reply.

Grace's hand ran up and down Eli's arm slowly; she concentrated on her fingers as they played along his skin.

Eli watched her hand move up and down, and then his eyes veered to her face; her soft face.

They lay together on Eli's bed, both propped up on their sides, resting on their elbows so they were facing each other.

"Are we going to be ok?" Grace suddenly asked, ruining the tranquil silence.

Eli was quiet for a moment, but continued to stare at Grace as she brushed her fingers against his arm.

"I don't know," he murmured after a moment.

Grace's eyes slowly wandered to Eli's face, and held his gaze for the longest time.

"I want us to be ok," Grace stammered, surprising both of them with the shakiness of her voice.

ELI I cant promise you that……….

Eli said nothing, only continued to stare into Grace's sad eyes.

She took a small breath, and spoke again; "I guess I thought that once we were together……….once I aloud myself to love you……….everything would be ok"

Eli gave a small, understanding, nod; "so did I ……….but then we realised we had to hide our relationship from the family………"

"Having to hide has torn us apart………don't you think?" Grace continued for him.

Eli looked away for a moment, and Grace knew his answer.

"I want us to be ok Eli" Grace said again, outstretching the hand that stroked his arm- she held it against his cheek, and Eli closed his eyes, allowing his senses to melt in her touch.

"I don't ever want to hurt you………." Eli murmured, eyes still closed.

Grace gave a small smile, "you could never hurt me" she replied.

ELI (guilty look)

Eli's eyes quickly opened, he stared adoringly into Grace's soft face; "you know I love you………. I really do……….in a way I never thought I could love someone……….."

Grace's smile grew, and a tear rolled down her cheek, "I know," she said, shakily.

"I hate that we have to hide this……….." Eli said softly.

"Me too…………but we cant tell our family………..that could never work……….." Grace agreed.

Eli nodded; "but I want the world to know that I love you……….."

Another tear escaped, Grace removed her hand from Eli's cheek to brush it away.

"Just because we can't tell the whole world doesn't mean we cant love each other……….." she finally said.

Eli gave a small nod, "then that's it……….we will just have to try harder……….make this work……….."

Grace nodded aswell, "I'll be at Uni next year……..I'll move out of home, and so can you………it would make sense that brother and sister would move into their first apartment together……….."

Eli gave a small smile, "step brother and sister" he corrected.

Grace smiled aswell, and looked into his eyes for a moment; "we can do this," she murmured.

"We have to………." Eli replied, moving his face close to hers, "because I cant lose you……….." he said softly, right before their lips connected.

Grace pulled away after a moment, "what did you want to tell me?" she asked, creasing her brow.

Eli felt a lump in his throat, but swallowed it down; "it doesn't concern us anymore……….." he murmured, and leant into Grace's lips again.

ELI it doesn't concern us………..because I've already decided……….. I need to go to Philadelphia. It was my decision, and I have made it.

* * *

"Should I call the kids and check up on them?" Lily asked, as she and Rick waited to be seated.

Rick peeled off Lily's coat, and draped it over his arm; "Grace and Eli are very capable of babysitting, Lil……….we don't need to check up on them" he replied.

Lily nodded, and turned to the waitress as she escorted them to a table, where Karen and Henry were already sitting, and sipping wine.

"I wonder what this could be about!" Rick whispered in Lily's ear sarcastically, with a hint of bitterness.

Lily gave a small wave, catching Karen and Henry's attention; she quickly turned her head to Rick, "don't stand down to her Rick……….remember……….this is Jessie's life!"

Rick gave a small nod, and smiled as he approached the table.

"Rick, Lily………" Karen acknowledged, "thankyou so much for coming this evening, and on such short notice"

"Oh, not a problem at all, Karen" Lily smiled, through clenched teeth.

Rick pulled her chair out, and she sat down beside Henry, turning to him; "how are you?" she asked, still smiling.

Henry, who didn't look particularly enthused about the gathering, gave a pathetic smile "fine………just fine thanks……….." he mumbled.

Rick sat down, beside Karen, and reached for Lily's hand underneath the table.

"The kids are at home with Eli and Grace?" Karen asked, taking a sip of her wine.

Rick nodded.

"Good………..good…………." Karen murmured, taking another sip.

There was an awkward silence that went on for too many seconds to count, and finally Rick cleared his throat.

"Karen………what's this all about……….?"

Karen shot him an awkward, unconvincing smile; "well, why cant this just be a nice dinner?" she asked, innocently.

"Because I know it's about our daughter………." Rick replied hoarsely, "out lesbian daughter"

Karen almost choked on her gasp as Rick said 'that' word; she turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Well……….your right……….this is about Jessie" Karen said, struggling to calm her tone, she placed her glass on the table.

"I'll just get right to it………" she looked around the table before continuing, "I think Jessie should start seeing a psychiatrist again"

There was a stunned silence, and then Rick sliced through by saying; "don't be so stupid Karen!"

She turned to him, mouth agape and fired back; "stupid? Stupid? I am perceiving this as something she needs to talk about………to air her feelings……….do not call me stupid Rick………. I am trying to be a good parent!"

"A good parent?" Rick repeated with a laugh, "are you saying I'm a bad parent because I believe that sending our daughter to a psychiatrist about something she cant change about herself is stupid?"

They both launched into a full on attack, causing a few eyes to wander towards their table; but both Henry and Lily calmed their dates, and managed to lower both Rick and Karen's voices.

While they harassed one another about who the better parent was, Henry offered Lily a wine, and calmly said; "so hows life treating you Lil?" she smiled in reply, and leaned forward as she began to tell him about her radio show's new segment- both deciding to tune out their dates.


	78. Chapter 78

Jessie kissed Katie's cheek and released her hand; "See you tomorrow" she murmured as she pulled away.

Katie smiled, and walked down the porch steps, turning around when she got to the bottom and blowing Jessie a kiss.

'I love you' Katie mouthed, and Jessie replied in the same way- slowly closing the door as she watched Katie get into her car.

"Have a nice evening?"

Jessie turned around just as Eli and Grace emerged from the garage- Eli had his arm draped around Grace's shoulders.

Jessie smiled and nodded, "fine thanks".

Eli looked away from his sister, not particularly interested in how her evening with Katie went; it was the last thing he wanted to know about infact.

"Is Zoe in bed?" Eli quickly asked, changing the subject.

Jessie nodded, "and that's exactly where I'm going", she replied, heading for the stairs.

"Don't you kids stay up too late!" she said over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs; "we wont!" Eli yelled up- Grace playfully punched him in the stomach, and raised a finger to her lips, reminding him that Zoe was asleep.

"Oh! You want me to be quiet?" Eli asked, pulling his arm away from her shoulders, he put both his hands on her hips, turning her towards him.

"Don't!" Grace warned as Eli started to squeeze, and work his hands up to her stomach.

"Quiet Grace……….you might wake Zoe up!" Eli warned with a sly smile.

"No Eli! Don't!" Grace pleaded with laughter as his hands wandered across her belly, squeezing and tickling

Eli smiled and continued to tickle, as her face grew hot and crimson with laughter; "No more!" she pleaded, giddily.

"No more!" she asked again, her face painted with delight.

"Ok" Eli breathed, finally stopping his hands from wandering around her stomach.

She collapsed into his arms, her face pressed against his chest as she waited for her giggles to die down, and her breaths to calm.

Eli held her, resting his arms around her middle, he waited for her to still- feeling her heart thump against his chest. He closed his eyes and bent his head down to rest ontop of hers, feeling her heart still beat fast.

"Oooohhhhh" she sighed, the ache of her stomach becoming apparent as her giggles stopped.

"We're going to be ok" Eli whispered.

"What?" Grace asked, barely hearing him.

"Nothing" Eli replied quietly.

Grace wrapped her arms around his middle, "lets stay like this for a while" she murmured.

"Ok" Eli replied.

Eli breathed in her scent- lavender, she had a small purple bottle of lavender fragrance on her night table that she sprayed on herself every morning.

And vanilla, a lip-gloss she liked to wear because it tasted creamy when she licked her lips.

Eli smiled as he took another breath of her; he wanted to remember every last detail about Grace, her lavender, vanilla scent. Her soft, creamy lips. Crimson cheeks that burned when she laughed. Soft, thoughtful brown eyes that whispered a million secrets to him in one glance. Delicate hands that felt like silk when they touched his skin. The way her curvy body fit precisely into his when they lay together on the bed. Her hair as it fell across his chest when she leaned against him.

He didn't want to forget any thing about her when he left.

"Eli?" Grace murmured.

Eli's head lifted, "mmmm?" he asked.

"I'm so tired" Grace replied wearily.

Eli smiled, and bent down, still holding Grace, to tuck one arm around the back of her legs- he lifted her up, easily, into his arms- cradling her as he slowly walked up the stairs.

"I'm not too heavy am I?" Grace asked.

Eli looked down into her face; one of her eyes was open, looking up at him sneakily.

He gave a small smile, "your perfect" he mumbled.

Grace gave a small smile in return, nuzzling her head against his chest and closing her eyes.

Eli got to the top of the stairs, and walked into Grace's room.

When he got to the bed, he gently lowered Grace down, tucking the covers around her and smiling as he studied her soft face.

"Stay" Grace mumbled, as Eli was about to leave.

"Dad and Lily will be home soon" he replied, stepping into the hallway.

"Love you" Grace said, rolling onto her side.

"Love you too" Eli replied, and headed down stairs.

He quickly walked to the kitchen, and grabbed the cordless, pressing the speed dial; it rang a million times before a voice came through the other end.

"What?"

"It's me……….Eli"

"ELI! What the hell……….it's………….10:30!"

"Sorry, but I have to tell you"

"Tell me? Tell me what?"

"Jake……….I'm going to Philadelphia"

Silence echoed through the phone; and then Eli heard Tiffany's muffled voice ask who was on the phone.

"I'm glad to hear it E" Jake said, and then paused; "very glad" he added.

"That's all I wanted to say……..goodnight Jake………sorry to disturb you" Eli said.

"Night E" came the reply, followed by a yawn, and then the receiver as Jake hung up.

Eli took a long drag of breath, and hung the phone back up. He had to lean against the kitchen counter to steady himself as the thought of what he'd just done came flooding into his mind suddenly.

ELI my future. It's………..here………ready for me to take……….

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

ok, fanfiction was stuffing up. Every time I went to add a chapter, the site would freeze and I couldn't do anything!

GRRR!

But I sent an e-mail to the 'help' people, and they corrected it for me.

But, alas, I will not be posting for a while, most likely. Because I have exams coming up and need to study, and holidays are slowly approaching (very slowly!). But I will try to get the first season finished with. That's right, I am copying the very talented TaintedLove and doing the season thing- season two will commence when my life calms down a bit. But I promise there won't be a 2-month wait or anything, not even a 6-week wait. Ok? Good? Happy? YAY!

Thanks for the reviews, I love you all……….hope your enjoying the story……….if not, send me a review and tell me how I can improve myself!


	79. Chapter 79

"What if somebody sees us?" Grace asked, anxiously.

"Nobody is going to see us………..nobody knows who we are!" Eli replied, in a relaxed tone.

"But………." Grace tried, Eli silenced her with a hard kiss before she could leak her worries.

When he pulled away, he saw Grace's eyes were still frantic, and her face still streaked with worry.

"Grace……….we're just going to a movie…….." he assured her again.

They had been waiting in the ticket line for 10 minutes now, and as every second went by, Grace grew more concerned.

She poked her head out a little; too see how many more people were infront of them, then turned back to Eli.

"I can just see you're mother and Henry walking out of the cinema and spotting us………" she began.

Eli gave a small laugh, and tucked his arms around her middle, "you worry too much………just breathe………..if something like that happens……..we're just a brother and sister going out to see a film because we're bored"

"Ok" Grace finally sighed, she wiggled out of his arms, and looked up into his face with a smile, about to plant a kiss on his lips to show she was relaxing; but Eli's eyes were looking ahead of them, and his brow was creased.

"What?" Grace asked, slowly turning around to the front of the line.

"Something like that is about to happen," Eli replied harshly.

Grace was about to ask Eli what he was talking about, but then she saw him; Ayden, amongst the crowd of people pouring our of the cinema, his arm around a blond haired girl, who Grace didn't know, but had seen around school.

She was pretty, with long, straight blonde hair- that was clearly died- she wore tight hipster jeans and had Ayden's big black jacket draped over her shoulders, she was clinging to him as thought he were her life line.

"You ok?" Eli asked.

Grace didn't reply, she only watched as Ayden and the mystery girl with dull blue eyes and perfect hair walked out of the cinema.

Eli touched Grace's shoulder, and she turned around; "you ok?" he asked again.

Before Grace could answer, Ayden was calling her name, and she had to turn around to greet them.

With school being out and all, Grace hadn't seen Ayden since……….since he walked away from her at the hockey field. That was 4 weeks ago, and he already found someone new.

GRACE he replaced me.

"Hi" she murmured with a fake smile as the couple approached them.

"Grace this is Maddie, Maddie this is Grace" Ayden spoke calmly, but Eli thought he heard a slight quaver in his voice as he said Grace's name the second time.

"Nice to meet you Grace" Maddie said, releasing her hand from Ayden's and outstretching it in a handshake to Grace, who clumsily shook it.

"Really nice to meet you too………." Grace mumbled, releasing Maddie's soft hand.

Eli looked Ayden up and down, Ayden felt his eyes on him and sent a similar glare Eli's way.

"And you are?" Maddie smiled up at Eli.

Ayden looked at the ground in discomfort, and Grace stood frozen as she looked at Maddie's outstretched hand.

Eli slowly took the girl's hand, and shook it briskly, "Eli………Eli Sammler………..Grace's………."

"Boyfriend" Ayden supplied for Eli- much to Eli's contempt.

Grace and Ayden connected eyes as the word hung heavily in the air.

"Boyfriend?" Maddie repeated the word, not noticing, or ignoring the tense atmosphere between her boyfriend and these two strangers.

"That's right" Grace said, still looking Ayden straight in the eye, "my boyfriend", she fumbled around for Eli's hand, clasping it tightly within her own; Eli squeezed her back, and smiled forcefully at Maddie.

"Oh of course………" she smiled, looking from Grace to Eli, "I should have known……….you two make a gorgeous couple!"

Ayden broke his stare with Grace, turning his eyes down to the ground; Grace did the same, eventually.

"We better be going" Ayden spoke to the ground, but looked up at Grace, "See-ya next term" he said, a little tensely.

Grace nodded, "see you," she repeated.

"Nice meeting you both!" Maddie smiled, latching back onto Ayden, who swapped one final glare with Eli, and then started walking away with Maddie on his arm, glancing over his shoulder only once as he walked on.

"Wow" Eli said, turning to Grace, "that was so……….."

"Uncomfortable" Grace supplied for him.

Eli nodded, and brought a hand to Grace's cheek, "you ok?" he asked, for the third time.

Grace avoided Eli's eyes, "I don't know………I'm just surprised that he found someone else so quickly………" she murmured.

Eli lowered his hand, "yeah, but then again so did you"

Grace looked up at his face, a small smile crossing her lips; "yeah I did," she said softly.

"And I can pretty much guarantee that Maddie is a rebound" Eli added, looking in the direction Ayden had left.

Grace shrugged, "Shame……….she seemed nice"

Eli turned back to her with a grin on his face, he gave a small nod, "I guess so," he said.

The line shuffled along, Grace and Eli finally brought their tickets.

"Two students for 'sweet surrender', thanks" Eli asked the woman behind the counter, she handed them their tickets

And as they walked into the cinema, Grace looped her arm around Eli's, hugging him tight; "we get to be a normal boyfriend and girlfriend" she smiled, looking up at him.

Eli turned to her and smiled, "it feels nice………doesn't it?"

Grace nodded, and released his arm as they walked down the isle and into a row of seats.

They sat down, and Eli turned to her with a wide grin; "wanna make out?" he asked slyly.

Grace raised an eyebrow.

"Like a normal couple………!" Eli added, and Grace smiled.

"Come here" she said huskily, leaning over and kissing Eli's lips hard and passionately.

GRACE he replaced me………but I could never replace Eli!

* * *

"Yeah?" Jessie nodded as she listened to Katie's voice through the phone.

"No way!" she exclaimed, "That is so completely wrong!" she started laughing.

Lily poked her head out the door, watching as Jessie sat on the couch and spoke with Katie on the phone, she pulled her head back into the kitchen and looked straight into Rick's eyes as he sat at the kitchen counter.

"Why do we have to tell her? This is all Karen's idea in the first place!" Lily sighed.

"Because Lil……...Karen said she felt uncomfortable discussing this with Jess……….." Rick replied, rubbing his forehead, he felt a headache coming on.

"And we don't?" Lily exclaimed.

Rick motioned to her to keep her voice down; "lets just………get this over with………" he sighed heavily.

Lily nodded, "Jess! Can you come here for a sec?" she called.

They waited a few moments, and then Jessie emerged, "sorry I've hogged the phone all night………" she said, hanging it up.

She stopped dead in her tracks and looked from Lily to Rick, "what?" she asked, in a small voice.

"Sit down sweety" Lily said, motioning to the seat beside Rick.

Jessie did as she was told, but found herself waiting in silence as Lily and Rick found the courage to say what they were being forced to by Karen.

Lily took control; "Jess………you know you're a beautiful, smart, kind woman?"

Jessie blushed slightly.

"You are Jess!" Rick supplied.

"And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you……….nothing at all………"

"I'm not perfect" Jess piped up.

Lily nodded, "nobody is" she replied, thinking instantly of Karen.

"But the thing is……….you have gone……..your going through a lot of changes in you're life………and you're father and mother………"

Rick fidgeted in his seat; he wanted no part in this.

"Want you to see a psychiatrist again to talk about the changes………" Lily ended, feeling horrible and dirty by the end of it.

Jessie looked from her father to Lily, and then back to her father; "you want me to see a psychiatrist again?" Jessie asked, in a small voice.

Rick looked at his hands, resisting the temptation to put the whole idea on Karen; "yes honey……..just once or twice……..and if you don't think your getting anything out of it……..you can stop going"

"Is it because of Katie………..because of me and Katie?" Jessie asked, feeling her throat tighten.

Lily looked at her feet, "partly" she whispered.

"But………we don't think there is anything at all wrong with your's and Katie's relationship……..we like Katie……..we just want you to talk things through with someone else, like you used to………." Rick tried.

"But I'm better now………I was sick then, and I needed to talk to someone………I'm not sick now" Jessie started, feeling her eyes well up.

"We still think you should go and just talk about………anything" Lily began.

Jessie suddenly jumped out of her seat, feeling tears streak down her face, she turned to Lily and her father; "No! Katie is not some sickness I need to be cured of!" she screamed.

Rick stood, but Jessie took a step back when he walked towards her, "no! I wont go! Tell mum I wont go! I wont!" Jessie screamed, and then ran out of the kitchen, and up the stairs.

Rick and Lily stood in silence, until Lily cleared her throat; "there you go…….tell Karen that Jessie wont go!" she said "and we wont make her!", she walked out, heading up the stairs to calm her step daughter.

"Gladly" Rick replied, reaching for the phone.


	80. Chapter 80

Jessie sat at the kitchen counter, solemnly sipping her hot chocolate. Her eyes were red and swollen, and she didn't speak a word to anyone, not even her brother as he strode into the kitchen.

"Morning" he smiled, heading to the fridge to get a carton of orange juice.

Lily, who was sitting quietly at the kitchen table reading the paper, barely acknowledged him with a small nod.

Eli didn't seem to notice as he drank from the carton.

"Morning"

Lily and Jessie both lifted their heads as Grace entered the kitchen, in much the same 'overly happy' mood as Eli.

"Morning" Eli beamed, handing her the carton.

Grace shook her head and scrunched her nose up, reaching into the cupboard for a glass instead, and pouring herself some juice.

Eli shrugged and wiped his mouth on his shirtsleeve; "I'm going over to Jason's for band practice" he said, turning to Lily.

"Fine" she replied

Eli turned to Grace, and quickly winked at her.

"Can you take me to the library?" Grace asked Eli, holding down a smile as Eli raised an eyebrow at her lame excuse.

"I need to find some books for my history project on the cold war" Grace added, just incase her mother was suspicious.

"Yeah……..sure………whatever" Eli said, walking out of the kitchen, a smile creeping across his lips.

"Be back at around one, mum" Grace said, following Eli.

"Fine" Lily replied lamely again, without lifting her head.

GRACE we're getting good at this……….we're into a rhythm! I don't know if that's such a good thing though…………

* * *

"Why don't you do that anymore?"

Eli looked over at Grace, and then back to the road; "do what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Band?"

Eli gripped the steering wheel a little harder, his knuckles went slightly white; but Grace didn't say anything.

"I still do band practice………." Eli started, after a long time.

"No you don't" Grace replied quickly.

Eli straightened in the car seat, but still didn't look over at Grace; "well………I don't have time anymore……..what with the bookstore, and………."

"Me?" Grace supplied.

"Well………I do like spending time with you………." He started, but Grace interrupted again.

"I don't want to be the reason that you waste you're talent!"

Eli nearly swerved off the road as she said that; but regained control, and looked over at her for a moment, and then concentrated back on the road.

"What do you mean?" he asked clumsily, they were the only words he could muster.

Grace glanced out her window, noticing clouds gathering in the sky, she turned back to Eli; "I mean………. I love you, and I love spending time with you, but I was just wondering why you don't concentrate on music so much anymore" she took a small breath, "it was once you're whole world" she added, quietly.

ELI once……..a long time ago……….not anymore.

He cleared his throat, "it was just a dream, Grace………" he paused, and she waited for him to say something else, but instead he only whispered again "just a stupid dream………" and Grace felt as though she should leave the conversation at that.

* * *

"You're not going, are you?"

"I don't know"

"They can't make you!"

Jessie dug her foot into the dirt; she didn't think Katie would understand if she tried explaining just how persuasive her mother could be.

"I don't know" Jessie replied again.

"Jesus, this sucks!" Katie exclaimed in one harsh breath.

Jessie nodded; Katie had just summed the whole situation up so perfectly.

"I know"

"No……..I mean this really……..mega sucks!" Katie exclaimed again.

"I know!"

Katie glanced over at Jessie, who was sitting motionless, on the swing beside her. She'd called Katie an hour ago and told her she needed to see her straight away. So, sure enough, Katie drove over; Jessie needed to get out of the house for a little while, so they walked to the nearby park.

"Sorry" Katie mumbled, moving the swing in a slow, circular motion.

Jessie looked over at Katie, "no………it's me……….I'm just a little high-strung at the moment………."

Katie stopped herself from swinging, and looked over at Jessie; the two held each other's gaze for the longest time.

"Everything's going to be fine………isn't it?" Jessie finally asked.

Katie gave a small nod; "you go to one session……….sit there all passive and teen angsty……….then tell you're parents you don't wanna go to another session cause it's a waste of you're time and their money………"

Jessie gave a small nod; "it juts hurts that they think I need to talk to somebody about this………when there is nothing wrong with me……….you know?"

Katie's foot entangled with Jessie's, pulling their swings close together; "this is just their way of dealing with it………" Katie said quietly "there's nothing wrong with you……….it's just……….parent's picture their little girls growing up, going off to college, meeting the perfect man, staring a family and eventually ending up with 3 kids, a two-storey house and a collie……….the lesbian factor never enters their minds………."

Jessie gave a small nod, "there's nothing wrong with me………" she repeated Katie's words, but her voice was shaky, and eventually a tear escaped.

Katie opened her arms, and pulled Jessie close, both girls still remaining on their swings as they held each other, "your going to be fine" Katie whispered, holding Jessie tight, "I'm right here".

* * *

Grace ran her hand through Eli's ruffled hair; his lips pressing softly against hers, and then harder as she pulled his body practically ontop of her.

"Grace" Eli murmured, struggling to pull away.

One of Grace's hands slid up and down his arm, while her other still ran through his hair.

"Grace" Eli said again, pulling free of her lips this time.

Grace propped herself up, onto her elbows and looked at Eli as he struggled to control his breath.

"We have to stop," he said, flushing red.

"Why?" Grace asked huskily, and then turned away from Eli as it struck her.

"Oh" she murmured, embarrassed, "I'm……err………sorry".

Grace sat up, and turned her back slightly to Eli; instead concentrating on the few people that were in the park. It had been a strange place for Eli to take her, especially seeming, as it would most likely rain in an hour or so. But still, it was nice, tranquil- to just lie around on the grass together, laughing and chatting like couples do………..forget the grass stains that would no doubt appear on the butt of her jeans………..it was nice to just, be with Eli………to be around him.

"I didn't know I had that effect on people……….." Grace murmured, her back still to Eli.

"What?" he asked, looking up at her.

She turned her head slightly, and cleared her throat; "I mean………I didn't know I could……….."

Eli let out a small laugh, "oh" he murmured, "well……….don't worry about it………"

Grace nodded her head, and watched as a lady jogged by; "does it always happen so easily?"

"What?" Eli asked, lying back down on the grass.

Grace slowly turned back to face Eli, relieved when she saw him lying down again- back to normal.

Grace's eyes looked anywhere but at Eli's face; she was too embarrassed, and felt childish.

"Oh" Eli suddenly clicked, he propped himself up on his elbows and stared at Grace; "it was………..well it's juts kind of hard………." He murmured.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" Grace asked, slowly and cautiously.

Eli almost fell backwards as Grace asked him the very question that was pressing on his mind while they were kissing………..only it wasn't 'if' he wanted to have sex, but more 'when'.

"Well………of course I do………." He murmured in reply.

Grace nodded, and fell silent as she positioned herself on her stomach, lying beside him.

"Are you getting impatient? Is that it?" She asked, turning away from him; she felt her cheeks turning a hot red.

ELI (scratches his head and sighs) Yes! A little……….maybe………I don't know! But yes………..I suppose………..

"No………it's just that I'm a guy, Grace and……….."

"Guys have needs?" she asked, a little sarcastically; turning to him, propping herself up on her elbows so she could see him properly.

Eli sighed, "well you asked!" was his only reply.

Grace bowed her head; "are you mad at me because I wont……..?" but Eli cut her off.

"No!" he said, quickly, "of course not Grace……...but you asked……….."

"It's because you've already had sex, and now that you're in a relationship with a virgin……….."

GRACE sex is this huge deal that everyone talks about……….but nobody really TALKS about………you know? Like the people that have done 'it' are in this secret society and they can't let anyone else in………not until they experience 'it' for themselves………..

"Grace!" Eli cut her off, "can we not discuss this?" he sighed.

"Sorry……… I just want to know………."

"All you need to know is I'm not ready until your ready……….ok?"

He turned away from her with a sigh; Grace allowed a small smile to creep across her lips as Eli's words brushed over her.

"Thankyou" she whispered, moving her body closer to his.

Eli turned back, just as Grace's face leaned into his; "I mean it Grace………I don't want to force you into anything" he said quietly, before their lips connected in a soft kiss.

When Grace pulled away she smiled; "I know" she whispered, and leaned into him again.

GRACE you know how people say 'you just know when the time is right'………..like it's this coded message inside yourself……….or a trigger that sets off at a certain time and tells you that your ready for sex……….?

Just as their kiss deepened, Eli felt a rain droplet on his bare arm; and Grace felt a cold bead of water run down her nose. They smiled, as they pulled away, and quickly scurried to their feet as rain began to fall from the now grey sky.

Eli reached for Grace hand, holding it tightly as they raced towards the car; unable to dodge the rain, by the time they both jumped in, they were soaked.

Grace let out a small laugh, which Eli soon echoed.

She turned to him, tendrils of soaked hair sticking to his forehead, beads of water running down his face.

Eli felt her eyes, and met her gaze; she looked so beautiful. Her hair, wild and as it stuck to her face, her lips a full red, and her eyes a rich brown.

Eli reached his hand out, and brushed it against her cold, wet cheek; "look at you" he whispered with a smile, tucking a wet strand of hair behind her ear.

Grace's hand slowly reached her cheek, and clasped Eli's as it rested against her cheek; "I love you" she smiled.

"I love you too" Eli replied; and they both moved close to one another; their lips were slippery and cold, but their kiss was deep and beautiful.

GRACE well……….. I think I know that it's time………..

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

A bit of a sexual reference in this chapter. Sorry. But I was remembering this scene from the 1999 film 'liberty heights', where this girl is over at a guys house, and her hand brushes against his leg as she reaches for a record; and he………..you know………..and it was just the funniest scene ever!

Hmmmm………..so there's my explanation for the 'tiny bit' rude scene. Sorry if it offended.


	81. Chapter 81

"Mum?" Eli called out as he stood in the doorway.

"Henry?" he called again, to the silence.

Eli closed the unlocked door behind him, and just as he turned around; he heard his mother's soft footsteps coming in through the back door.

"Jess?" she called; and then appeared, her face dropping a little when she saw that Eli was alone.

"Just me" he shrugged with a half smile.

Karen brushed a piece of flyaway hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She'd been hanging washing on the line outside, and had only heard Eli's second call-out to Henry.

"Oh don't be silly" she smiled, after a moment, she walked to her son "I'm always glad to have you over," she said, opening her arms to him.

He bent down and kissed her quickly on the cheek, squeezing her in a short hug.

"Is Henry home?" Eli asked, as he followed her into the kitchen.

Karen walked to the fridge, opening the door and pulling out a carton of milk; "No, why?" she asked, closing the door again, "did you want to see him?" she asked, putting the kettle on.

Eli took a seat at the kitchen table, watching his mother as she made them both a cup of coffee; "No……….but mum, if he isn't home……….you really should lock the door!"

Karen gave a small laugh and sighed as she rubbed her forehead and turned back to face her son; "still looking after me………as always………" she smiled warmly.

Eli nodded his head, "just being the good son," he murmured, and that made Karen laugh again as she walked over with a cup of coffee.

"So, what are you doing here then?" she asked, taking a seat opposite him.

Eli raised his eyebrow, and Karen grinned; "not that I'm not glad to have you here………but there is usually an ulterior motive to you're visits……….."

Eli placed his coffee down on a coaster, and stared his mother straight in the eye- something that made her straighten in her seat and suck her breath in as she waited for her son to speak………..to say anything……….to end the suspense

"I'm leaving," he finally exhaled- but Karen only sucked in more breath.

"I'm going to Philadelphia," he added, and then averted his eyes when his mother said nothing.

"What?" she finally found a word.

"Jake and Judy offered me to move down to Philadelphia……….to fill the position as manager of the new bookstore ……….the first in a franchise of B & J Booklovers"

Karen started twisting the hem of her blue blouse as her sons words washed over her.

"When?" she breathed.

"By the end of the month" Eli murmured in reply; and Karen's head shot up.

"So soon?" she asked, her voice quavering.

Eli nodded; "I would have told you sooner………but I only decided for certain last week………Jake asked me about 4 weeks ago……...and I'd been sitting on it……….and of course I need to get down there as soon as possible for when the building opens…………." He drifted off, but soon quietened when he realized his words weren't getting through to his mother, who was sitting so still.

"You're the first person I've told," he finally said, after the longest gap of silence.

Karen stared down at her crinkled hem, and then lifted her head to look at Eli; who was surprised to see a smile evenly spread across her lips.

"A manager?" she repeated, eyes watering as she spoke the title.

Eli gave a small nod.

"My son………..manager of a big company………."

"It's not so great, mum………. I'm not a doctor or anything……….just a manager" he muttered.

Karen took a small breath; "I am so proud of you, E" she smiled, and got up from her chair, flinging her arms around her son, and holding him tight.

ELI I forgot how great it feels to hear those words………..

"I'm going to miss you………" she mumbled through broken sobs, "oh! But I am so proud of you!" she added, blubbering again.

ELI or maybe its that I've never heard them come from her before………maybe that's why it feels so good……….

Eli eventually untangled himself from Karen's grasp, and handed her a scrunched up tissue from his pocket; she wiped her eyes and eventually calmed down enough to ask; "what do you mean I'm the only person you've told?" she blew her nose, "your father will be thrilled when he hears about this!"

Eli nodded, "I know……….but I just want to keep it………quiet……….. for now………."

"Well when are you planning on telling everyone Eli? The night before you leave?" she muttered, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, and staring at her son.

Eli turned away, "no………..when the time is right I'll tell everyone……….."

ELI everyone………..even Grace………….

"Please, E..……let me call you're father now………."

Eli shook his head, "Please mum, let me do this………."

He lifted his head, "I want to see the look on his face when I tell him his son is going to make something of himself," he said, with a far-off smile.

Karen creased her brow, "Eli………..you're father and I have always………and will always……….be proud of you………..no matter what or who you become…………."

Eli gave a small nod, knowing somewhere inside himself; that that wasn't true.

He looked at the clock above the fridge, "I better get home now, mum" he said, standing.

Karen stood aswell, hugging her son again; "I love you sweety," she whispered as she released him.

"Love you too mum" Eli replied, and turned to leave.

"And Eli!" Karen called, as he was about to walk through the door.

He turned to her, standing in the doorway, hugging herself; "I am proud of you" she smiled.

Eli gave a small nod, "lock this door after I leave" he reminded her, and left.

KAREN he seems changed………and I don't know if its because he's starting a new chapter in his life……….or if its because he's leaving an old story behind………….


	82. Chapter 82

Eli threw his keys on the table as he stepped inside the house; "anyone home?" he called, peeling his jacket off and draping it over the banister.

Jessie appeared in the kitchen doorway, with a bowl of pretzels and a can of coke; "dad and Lily aren't home yet………..Zoe is at dance class……….and Grace is upstairs" she murmured, heading for the couch.

"And what have you done all day?" Eli asked her, watching as she took a seat on the couch.

"Vegetating" she spat back, switching the t.v onto Oprah.

Eli rolled his eyes, "I went and saw mum……….." he started, walking into the living room.

Jessie turned around and stared at him, her eyes narrowed; "and what did she say to you?" she asked, spite in her tone.

Eli recognised by the sound of her voice that Jessie and his mother were in the middle of a fight that he did not want to get caught up in. So he bit his tongue, and decided not to tell his sister the nature of their conversation.

He shrugged, "just checking up on her………" he said, and Jessie turned back to the television; "did she mention me?" she asked, flicking through the channels.

"Of course she did Jess!" Eli replied, thinking his sister asked some really stupid questions for somebody that was so smart.

Jessie turned to him again, her brow creased; "and what did she say?" she asked wearily.

"Geez Jess………she wanted to know how her daughter was………and why she wasn't coming to visit her!" Eli flung the words back, and turned, walking out of the living room and heading up the stairs.

Jessie sunk down deeper into the couch, glad that her mother hadn't talked about the psychiatrist idea with Eli……….who she knew was weirded out enough by the idea of having a lesbian sister……….and probably would have conspired against her, with their mother……….both thinking the psychiatrist was the perfect way to cure Jessie of this 'lesbian faze' she was going through.

She viciously flicked through the channels, remembering what Katie had said to her, earlier in the park; "it's going to be ok"………but somehow Jessie didn't believe her.

JESSIE but I wish I could.

* * *

Grace lifted her head and watched as Eli slowly opened the door to her room, after tapping 3 times.

His hair was ruffled, and his eyes were especially green, probably because of the grey jumper he was wearing. He had beautiful chameleon eyes that changed depending on what he wore.

His subtle lips curved into a smile as he stared at Grace; and she smiled back, having to catch her breath as she looked at him- so handsome………so perfect……….

He closed the door behind him, and walked towards where she was lying on the bed.

"Hey" he said, sitting on the floor at the end of her bed; he leaned in, and kissed her softly.

"Where have you been?" she asked as they pulled away, "I was waiting for you to get home" she added.

Eli turned away from her, closing his eyes for a moment as he composed himself.

ELI I have to tell her……..its only fair………it's the right thing to do……….

He turned back to her, but she was sitting up, fumbling with her stereo remote; soft music soon filled her bedroom.

**_I won't hurt you  
I'll protect you_**

She lay back down, so their faces were close again, and leaned in for another kiss. He told himself to pull back, to tell her………to get it over and done with, and just tell her………..

But she looked so beautiful; her lips were so soft and intoxicating. She smelt like lavender, as always, and her lips tasted like creamy vanilla. Her cheek was soft as he brushed his hand against it, like silk.

**_I won't let the rain fall down  
I'll always be around_**

ELI tell her! Tell her now! TELL HER!

**_And baby I will understand if sometimes  
you just want to spread your wings and fly  
and let your colours shine_**

Instead, he deepened the kiss, cupping her head with one of his hands; he kissed her lips hard and feverishly, losing himself in her………as he always did whenever he allowed himself to……….it was impossible to escape her kisses.

**_And everyday I wanna be a risk you take  
make a promise that will never break for life_**

With both hands he cupped her face, never wanting to let her go………never……….he couldn't………could he?

_**You're my butterfly  
don't fly away open my hands your free  
praying you'll come back to me   
you're my butterfly  
don't fly away  
you're my reality   
always be my gravity  
you're my butterfly  
come on and touch the sky  
you're my butterfly**_

Grace struggled to pull away; Eli was holding her so close. But eventually she broke the kiss, and stared into his eyes, smiling.

"I missed you," he murmured, panting for breath.

"I missed you too" she smiled as she listened to Eli's collecting breaths.

**_I won't forget you  
or neglect you  
won't let no-one take your place  
in your eyes I see my face_**

ELI tell her!

"Grace"

"Eli"

She smiled, and Eli creased his brow.

"You first" he mumbled, looking down at his hands.

Grace hoped off her bed, taking a seat beside Eli on the ground, she turned her body to him; and looked deeply into his eyes.

"I love you so much" she whispered huskily.

ELI this isn't helping.

"I……….I love you too" he murmured in reply.

_**And baby do you know that everybody watches  
every time that you take flight  
they're blinded by your light**_

Grace reached for his hand, clasping it tightly; Eli stared down at their entwined fingers, and then back at Grace's face. Her cheeks were red, her eyes were wild and embarrassed- but her small smile was honest and warm- it made Eli's racing thoughts calm for a moment.

**_Every day the feeling's gonna be the same  
I can promise that will never change for life_**

Grace opened her mouth, about to let every thought that was invading her head pour out of her mouth. But nothing happened, her throat tightened, and no words came out.

"Grace?" Eli asked, after a few moments of silence, "are you ok?" he asked again.

She released his hand, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear; then took a long breath.

"What is it?" Eli asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.

**_You're my butterfly   
don't fly away open my hands your free  
praying you'll come back to me  
you're my butterfly  
don't fly away  
you're my reality  
always be my gravity  
you're my butterfly  
come on and touch the sky  
you're my butterfly_**

She turned back to him, wide-eyed and just a little bit scared.

"Sex" she finally blurted out.

Eli blinked, and then cleared his throat; "what?" he asked, quietly.

"It's this big, huge deal that scares the hell out of me………." She murmured, tucking another piece of hair behind her ear.

"Grace………I don't understand………." Eli started to say, but Grace wasn't listening.

"I mean……….I think it's this waiting that scares me………you know?" she turned to him, and Eli fell silent, "waiting for the right time………but what if this is the right time, and I'm just delaying because I'm waiting for the right time……….?"

She tucked another piece of hair behind her ear, hearing herself babbling, but unable to stop herself.

"And the fact is that I know you're the right person………and I know I want to be with you……." She continued to mumble on, until Eli stopped her, by bringing his hands to her face, and turning her eyes towards his.

"Grace………what are you saying?" he whispered.

"I want to have sex with you Eli………because I love you……..and because I know it feels right………."

The room fell silent, as Eli stared into Grace's face, as he cupped it in his hands.

ELI I………I'm leaving………we cant……….

But Eli didn't listen to his head……..or his heart……….instead, he leaned forward, and kissed Grace, softly and tenderly. Not because he wanted to have sex with her……..but because he loved her………

Grace suddenly pulled away; "when I say 'I want to have sex with you'………I don't mean right here, right now………" she said, a hint of worry in her tone.

Eli smiled, and let out a small laugh, "I kinda guessed that" he replied.

"Good" Grace smiled, and allowed her lips to play against his for another second, and then pulled away again; "but I do want to have sex…….."

Eli kissed her back, "whenever your ready…….." he said, kissing her again and again.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

The song was Delta Goodrem's 'Butterfly'- she's an awesome singer, one of my favourites.


	83. Chapter 83

Rick turned the page of the book he was reading. His eyes quickly looked over the cover, into the half opened bathroom door, his wife's back only just visible as she stood before the mirror, putting some sort of cream on her face.

"I sent the blueprints down today…….." Rick called out to her.

"Hmmm" came the muffled reply from the bathroom.

"Sent them down to Philadelphia…….." he clarified, just in case Lily didn't understand.

"Hmmm"

"I'm sending down a few people from the office to take care of the project……..I have too many things on my plate right now and cant take time off………."

"Hmmm"

"I told you that already, didn't I? Last week?"

"Hmmm"

Rick closed his book, frustrated. He practically slammed it down on the nightstand, and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at the bathroom door- waiting for his wife to come into bed.

"Are you coming?" he called out after a moment.

"In a minute" Lily replied, sharply.

Rick huffed, and kicked at the covers- tangling his feet.

Lily appeared, and watched as Rick struggled with the bed sheets- unamused, she rolled her eyes, flicked off the bathroom light, and strolled across the room towards the bed.

Rick, now in a full-out battle with the mangled sheets that were strangling his feet, didn't notice as Lily walked towards him- and he lost his opportunity to throw her a glare.

Lily tossed the covers off her side of the bed, and slipped in.

Rick gave up on the covers, and turned to his wife, just as she snuggled down beneath the covers, outstretching her arm as she flicked off her bedside lamp.

"Lil" Rick spoke through gritted teeth.

"Hmmm?" she replied in a deep murmur.

Rick was sure he'd burst if he got that reply from her one-more-time.

"We need to talk!"

"Hmmm?"

Rick quickly leaned across his wife's body, stretching out his arm; he turned on her bedside lamp.

Lily sat up abruptly and turned to her him; "perhaps I don't want to talk Rick!" she spat, "maybe I would rather sleep!"

"But Lil, we need to talk!" he said again, sternly.

Lily adjusted her pillows, leaning back into them, crossing her arms over her chest- she sat, pouting for a moment; "so talk then!" she finally snapped, turning to Rick.

He sighed, "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean, what's wrong?"

"You haven't talked to me for three straight days………and I cant handle it any more!" Rick rubbed his forehead, "what have I done?"

Lily turned away from him; "its what you haven't done!" was her riddled reply.

He scoffed, "what's that supposed to mean exactly?"

Lily turned back to him, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed- "you let Karen walk all over you………yet again!"

"Oh Lily………"

"Don't oh Lily me!" she spat out, interrupting him before he could go on; "on this matter, concerning Jessie, you were 100 right! You're daughter does not need to see a psychiatrist! Not when it comes to her relationship with that Katie girl! As far as I can see………because of her………Jessie has never been better! But, yet again, you let Karen beat you down…………and now look where you are………where WE are……….Jessie isn't talking to us!"

Rick sighed, "I know, I know!" he murmured.

"No you don't know, Rick! If you did, you'd tell Karen that she is wrong, and that what you're child wants should come before any discomfort she feels over having a lesbian daughter!"

"Lil…….." Rick tried again, but Lily was on a roll.

"Now, I may not be mother-of-the year………I admit that……….but atleast I can see when my children are happy………atleast I don't try and change who they are for my own sake! Atleast I accept them…………!"

"Now Lily!" Rick cut in, "Karen accepts Jessie………she loves her………"

"Loving and accepting are two very different things Rick………of course she loves Jessie, I have no doubt about that……….but does she accept who she is, as a person? Or who she is becoming as a woman?"

He fell silent, and Lily knew she'd said all she needed to- "I think you three need to sit down and have a long talk about all this………..and soon!" she cautioned, and sunk back down beneath the covers, reaching out, and turning off her light.

"Goodnight my dear" she murmured.

"Night" Rick replied, still fazed by her words as he sat in the darkness.

* * *

Eli clumsily strummed his guitar- a familiar 'clash' song, called London calling- a song he'd once perfected, but now, sounded awkward and unfamiliar to him.

Grace didn't seem to notice though, she only smiled approvingly as her eyes darted from Eli's face of concentration, to his fingers as they found their way to the strings, and back again- completely in awe of him-, which only fuelled Eli's frustration.

GRACE I'm at this really great place at the moment. I'm in love, and finally feel as though there is someone out there who 'gets me'………who can look into my eyes and know exactly what I'm thinking with a simple glance………….and at the same time, being in love is scary, because there are so many twists and turns.

"Dammit" Eli hushed under his breath as he strummed the wrong note.

Eli was sitting on his bed, back against the headboard, his guitar resting comfortably in his arms.

Grace was sitting at the other end of his bed- watching as Eli tried tuning his guitar, as if that were the problem with his less-than-perfect playing.

Grace creased her brow as she watched his fingers fumble with the tuning knobs- but she restrained from asking him how often he'd been practicing lately………she could tell by his playing that it wasn't regularly………..but she didn't want to rub it in.

Instead, she slid off the bed, and walked towards his chest of drawers- where there were one or two bottles of cologne, pieces of paper with scribbling lyrics, 3 or 4 guitar picks, and a shoe box sitting on top………….

"Goddamit!" Eli mumbled again.

Grace turned around briefly, flashing him a sympathetic smile- then turned back to the top of the chest, reaching out, and opening the shoebox, that was filled with photographs.

Eli had dug around in his closet the night before, searching for the shoebox that he intended to take away with him to Philadelphia. His own box of memories.

Grace picked up a hand full, studying them carefully.

The first few were of her mother and Rick's wedding. One of the newly wed couple. Jessie singing. Grace, Jessie and Zoe- the bridesmaid. The whole family. Jessie and Eli posing.

The others were happy family snaps- taken when Jessie and Eli were much younger- 7 or 8- Rick and Karen had fresh, happy faces, and the photo's all showed a close, beautiful family.

It was sort of sad, as Grace flicked through pictures of summer vacations, weekends up in the snow- Eli and Jessie licking ice cream off their hands as it melted in the hot sun, and rugged up from head to toe, so only their red little noses were poking out of snow jackets as they built snow men- it was sad because that family didn't exist anymore, and the photo's were just that………photo's……..faded memories that were re-explored every once in a while when Eli pulled the shoe box out and rifled through them, remembering the good times.

Then came baby snaps- the first few were of a toothless, 5-year-old Eli, cradling his baby sister, Jessie, all bundled up in a yellow blanket.

There were one or two with Karen and Rick aswell, the whole family- new, baby Jessie included, smiling happily into the camera.

Grace smiled as she came to the baby pictures of Eli. Karen holding her newborn son in her arms at the hospital- Rick doing the same.

Eli, naked in the bathtub with Rick. Baby Eli, with a head of thick, brown hair, sleeping soundly in his cot. Wearing nothing more than a white diaper- his adorable rolls of baby fat making Grace giggle.

And then Eli and Jessie grew up, as Grace went through more photos. The siblings building a sand castle together, Jessie only 3 years old, Eli about 7- Jessie wearing a frilly bikini, and Eli in little board shorts, zinc across their noses.

One or two birthday pictures, blowing out candles, unwrapping gifts.

Christmas was the same, family posing by the tree- Jessie and Eli holding up their new presents.

A few school pictures, with Eli and a school bag that was twice his size, strapped to his back- but smiling none the less.

Jessie posing with Karen on her first day of school, then with her father- and finally, with older brother Eli- looking very clean cut in his perfect uniform. They both looked so young……….Grace smiled as she thought of the people they'd grown to be………..

A few high school photos came next. Eli sitting with his friends by the pool, at someone's house. One or two pictures of Eli when he was 13 or so, learning to play guitar. A few group shots with friends- he still looked young, with a bowl type haircut, and still looking clean-cut.

When he came to around 15, he started looking more like the Eli she now knew. Scruffy hair, no smiles as he posed with friends- going for the serious look was way more 'cool'.

Singing into a mic- no doubt as he imagined the rocker he would become.

Grace bit her lip as she thought- when he was 15 or 16, Eli's parents split up. It was sad looking at the photos of the still happy family……….and Grace wondered if they knew then, what was going to happen……….by the looks on their faces, and the smiles……….she guessed that they didn't.

She held her breath slightly, as a picture of a smiling Jennifer came next. She looked pretty, Eli had taken a close up of her, smiling- white teeth, pink lips, dazzling brown eyes……….Grace shoved it back in the box. Only to find more pictures of past girlfriends, these ones included Eli posing with the beautiful girls- blondes, brunettes, raven hairs- and one girl with blue streaks.

Eli was kissing them in some shots, or hugging them tight. They were all very pretty, with small waists and perfect faces. Grace only recognised a few of them as seniors.

Perhaps she was over exaggerating, there were only 5 or so girls……..but there were a lot of photos of them………and Eli.

"Grace?"

She almost jumped out of her skin when she heard Eli call her name out the second time- she was so enthralled in the photos; she hadn't heard him the first time.

"Yes?" she said, stuffing the photos back in the shoebox.

"I said I'm giving up on this" Eli motioned to his guitar that was now

propped up against the bed.

She creased her brow and Eli smiled, "for tonight" he added, and then sighed- running a hand through his hair.

"What you doing over there?" he asked, turning back to her.

She bit her bottom lip, and stepped aside so Eli could see the scattered photos ontop of his chest.

He nodded, "Oh……you found the album then".

Grace nodded, turning back; she picked the box up and walked to his bed, sitting close to him again, and placing the box between them.

"Who's this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a pretty girl with long black hair and olive skin, as Eli held her hand- the beach in the background.

"Tamara" Eli said after a moment of jogging his memory.

"How old were you?"

"We went out for a few weeks in year nine…….."

"Nothing serious then?"

Eli laughed, "nothing serious" he clarified.

"And this girl?" Grace asked, holding up a photo of a tall blonde girl with wavy hair and deep blue eyes, Eli was holding her close.

"Ah" Eli took the photo from Grace and examined it closely.

"Amelia" he said, a small smile creeping across his lips.

"Amelia?" Grace repeated with a smile and romantic tone- putting on a French accent as she said the girl's name.

Eli looked up, handing the photo back to her "yeah- Amelia" he said, warmly.

Grace raised an eyebrow, "and what was so special about Amelia? Was she the first girl that let you grope her or something?" she asked, sarcastically.

ELI (bites his lip embarrassed, turns slightly red)

"She was just………funny………" Eli finally filled in the silence.

Grace nodded knowingly- "Jennifer?" she asked, holding up the photo.

Eli nodded, "Jennifer" he repeated.

"Was she the first girl you ever loved?" Grace asked, looking down and studying her smiling face in the photo.

Eli shook his head; and reached out, rummaging through the shoebox, he pulled out a photo and handed it to Grace, who studied it with a smile.

It was a class photo from year 8; "which one was Eli Sammler's first love?" Grace asked, scanning the photo.

Eli pointed to the teacher with the blonde bob standing to the side; Grace looked up and smiled, "no way" she laughed.

Eli nodded, "I swear……….I had the biggest crush on her……..Miss Honey!"

"What an appropriate name!" Grace laughed again, examining the pretty teachers face.

Eli looked at Grace, a small smile creeping across his lips.

"Actually………I don't have a really good picture of the girl I truly love………." He said slowly, and Grace looked up- not quite understanding him.

Eli reached over to his bedside table, opening one of the drawers and pulling out a black camera, which he held to his eye.

Grace smiled warmly, "oh" she mumbled softly.

She positioned herself so she was face on to the camera- flicked her hair back, and smiled, and Eli clicked the camera.

"Now I do," he said, lowering the camera.

Grace put her hand out, "I want one of my first crush aswell," she said, and Eli handed it to her.

He gave a cheesy, but cute grin- and Grace snapped instantly.

Eli tugged on her arm, pulling her across to him, she snuggled up closely- resting her head on his chest- he held the camera out, and snapped a photo of the two of them. And then another as Grace leaned in for a kiss.

"Perfect" he smiled, leaning in for another warm embrace.


	84. Chapter 84

"Ice-cream!" Katie beamed, "I could definitely go some chocolate ice-cream right about now!"

Jessie and Grace both turned to Katie with raised eyebrows- jaws dropped.

"You guys want some too?" Katie asked, smiling.

Jessie laughed, and leaned in, kissing Katie on the cheek- "No sweety……..but you go………we'll wait here" she smiled.

Katie nodded, and got to her feet- Jessie watched as her girlfriend strolled across the grass, sunlight illuminating her beautiful features- heading towards the ice-cream van parked across the street.

"She does realize that the lunch we just ate could have fed an entire Ethiopian village!" Grace laughed.

Jessie nodded, turning back to Grace- "She has a bottomless stomach" Jessie agreed, smiling.

The three girls had decided to spend the afternoon together- in the park for lunch, and then down to the shopping centre for some retail therapy.

It was more Katie's idea- to get Jessie out of the house, thinking that her girlfriend needed to get away from the madness of her life for atleast a day. Katie insisted that Grace come along, saying the more the merrier, and since Eli was at work- Grace agreed.

"You know Jess………" Grace began, crumpling a burger wrapper in her hand, "You never look happier than when you're with Katie".

Jessie smiled, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she felt her face turn red; "well you know what………." She began, and Grace looked up.

"I see those smiles of pure delight every time you look at my brother aswell………."

Now it was Grace's turn to flush crimson; "I guess we're falling in love…….." Grace sighed.

Jessie let out a small, whimsical laugh; "I guess we are………"

Both girls looked at one another sheepishly, "great, huh?" Grace asked, and Jessie nodded- both girls joining in a few giggles before Katie returned.

"What's so funny?" she asked, sitting down crossed legged beside Jessie- chocolate ice-cream cone in hand.

Jessie smiled, and leaned over, kissing her cheek- "Nothing".

Grace tucked a piece of hair behind her ear again, wishing desperately that Eli were with her.

* * *

"Have you sent out for you're passport yet?"

"On Friday"

"Good man" Jake said, patting Eli on the back.

"Now all that's left to do is tell my family!" he sighed heavily.

Jake stopped rifling through the papers on his desk, and slowly turned around to face Eli who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. Jake had a dark face on, not that Eli was surprised- he'd been putting off telling his family for 2 weeks now, regardless of the many warnings and urging Jake had given him.

"E!"

"I know………..I know……….." Eli said before Jake could finish, throwing his hands in the air.

"I don't think you do Eli!" Jake motioned towards the door, and Eli closed it behind him, taking a few steps into the office.

Jake sat in his chair and stared at Eli, hard; "the last thing I need is your folks thinking I manipulated you're young, impressionable mind into some sort of ploy to get my business booming…………..the last thing I need is to be in the bad books with them………..and Lily for that matter!"

Eli ran a hand through his hair, and nodded his head solemnly; "I know………and I will tell them…………."

"When!"

"Tonight"

Jake raised an eyebrow, and Eli bit his bottom lip; "I already told my mum………."

"And……….what did she have to say about me corrupting her son!" Jake asked.

"She's………actually kinda happy for me……….I mean she still has all the motherly worries about letting go of her baby boy………but she's actually………..proud" Eli swallowed the last word down.

Jake smiled, "well it wasn't so much you're mother I was worried about………Judy could have brought her around to the idea if she were totally opposed………..its you're father I'm worried about……….."

"That makes two of us"

"And Lily"

ELI and Grace………….

Eli nodded; "I have you're word then?" Jake asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You do" Eli replied, and turned towards the door, enclosing his hand around the door handle.

"Good luck" Jake said, as Eli walked out.

And as he closed the door behind him, Eli let out a deep sigh; "I'm gonna need it" he whispered under his breath.

* * *

"Sexy?"

Jessie and Grace both turned to Katie, who was wearing massive black sunglasses that only allowed the tip of her forehead and chin to show.

Jessie scrunched up her nose and shook her head, "doesn't really do it for me!" she said, giggling.

Katie gasped and feigned insult, she took the sunglasses off and slid them onto Jessie- whose little face was totally covered by the monstrous sunglasses.

Jessie turned to Grace, who cracked a small smile, and then turned back to the rack of lipsticks she was pretending to be interested in.

"You ok?" Jessie asked, taking the glasses off.

Grace half smiled, "of course"

"I know hanging around in a chemist isn't a ball……….but there's not much else to do………..but we could always go home and…………."

"No" Grace said, turning to Jessie. She knew this was the biggest outing she'd had in a few days. And between hanging out in a chemist trying on different shades of lipstick, and seeing Jessie vegetating on the couch wallowing in her own sorrow………..well………..Grace would take the lipstick any day.

"I'm just………missing Eli………" Grace murmured, looking down to her feet.

Jessie nodded her head, and smiled; "you got it bad!" she sighed.

Grace looked up, reflecting a similar, sheepish smile; "that's not such a horrible thing!"

"Jess! Come look at these!"

Jessie turned, and watched as Katie headed towards a stand of reading glasses towards the back of the store; "back in a sec" she said, walking towards Katie.

Grace watched her go, and then turned back to the lipstick. An entire row of fiery red, and passionate pink- she was unamused.

But, as she turned around, she saw on a shelf behind her- a wide variety of condoms.

GRACE (biting bottom lip) we've talked about it………..but talking and taking action are worlds apart when it comes to……….sex……….the be all and end all…………..

She studied the rows, examining each packet with scrutiny.

GRACE I know I'm ready………..and therefore, if I am so completely certain………..than I should just stop delaying………..

She reached out and grabbed a red packet, with 'safe sex' printed on the front in large white letters.

GRACE but then again………..is all this debating a sign that I'm infact not ready?…………..

Grace bit her bottom lip and stared down at the packet in her hands. Her mind was racing so fast, that she didn't even notice as Jessie approached.

"Oh my god!"

Grace dropped the packet as she jumped in fright. She looked at Jessie, feeling her face burn; she quickly looked away from her mortified stepsister, bending down to pick up the packet up from the ground.

"Grace………..are you and Eli…………..!" Jessie began, then doubled up on herself; "oh no wait! I do not want to know that about my brother!" she gasped.

Grace stood up again, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear; her face was as red as a tomato now, and she was sure everyone in the store was staring at her……….staring at the tomato head standing in the condoms section…………..debating whether or not to lose her virginity.

GRACE don't I win brownie points for practising safe sex!

"Jessie!" Grace hissed, trying to shush her.

"I………..I………….I am sorry Grace………." Jessie began.

"Don't be……….I was just looking for the hell of it……….." Grace said, stuffing the condom packet back on the shelf.

"Oh" Jessie looked down at her feet, and then back at Grace. "So you haven't?……….." she began, but Grace cut her off.

"No! Of course not!"

Jessie gave a sigh of relief, "but you know……….if you did……….you could tell me…………. I am you're friend you know…………."

"I know" Grace murmured, looking to her feet with great interest.

"Granted, knowing about my brothers sexual life may cause deep psychological problems for me later on in life……….but you wouldn't have to go into great details………..just……….if you needed, or wanted to talk………..I'm here"

Grace looked up, cracking a small smile; "thanks Jess" she mumbled.

Jessie nodded, "Katie and I are going to the toilets………….can you just wait here for 5 minutes?" Jessie asked.

Grace nodded, and watched as Jessie and Katie headed out of the store.

Once she was sure they were gone, she grabbed two red packets, and bolted to the counter to pay for them.

GRACE I'm so sick of rationalizing everything!


	85. Chapter 85

"We're home!" Jessie yelled out once she and Grace were through the door, having just waved goodbye to Katie.

"What's for dinner?" was Jessie's next question.

Grace rolled her eyes and peeled off her coat, not hanging it on the banister as she would usually do- but draping it over her arm, she slid her hand into the pocket, and felt for the two condoms- sighing with relief when she felt them.

"You're not having dinner here tonight," Lily said, emerging from the kitchen.

"We're not?" Grace asked.

Lily bit her bottom lip, "no Grace………you and Eli are"

Jessie raised an eyebrow, "Jess- we're going over to you're mothers for dinner" Lily supplied.

Jessie almost fell backwards, but she took a deep breath, and mustered the power to ask; "why?"

"Well, myself, you're father and mother want to………..talk to you………about things……….." Lily replied, with a shaky tone.

Jessie nodded numbly, "well why do I have to go?" she spat out, without even realizing the words were in her throat.

"Well because……….." Lily began.

"I mean………your just going to dictate my life to me anyway……….its not like I'd have a say in anything……….so why don't I just stay here and when you get home you can show me what new plans you have mapped out for me!"

"Jess………it's not like that!" Lily started, "we are all eager to hear what you have to say about………."

"The idea of me seeing a psychiatrist!" Jessie supplied.

Lily swallowed, and nodded; "yes" she murmured.

"Fine! I'll go………just to tell you all where I think you can stick you're psychiatrist!" Jessie spat, and bolted up the stairs- Lily watching after her, jaw dropped.

"Jess!" Lily called out, following her stepdaughter.

Grace stood perfectly still- having no idea what was just said between her mother and Jessie. She stood, in silence, jaw agape, eyes wide and darting. Her and Eli……….alone………..tonight?

Was this the powers 'that be', whacking a giant sign infront of her? A flashing neon sign that said 'lose you're virginity tonight!'

Grace swallowed, and a small smile danced upon her lips- as she felt for the condoms again.

GRACE so this is it……….it's really going to happen……….tonight?

She slowly started walking up the stairs, towards her room, still in a state of pure shock, the smile slowly fading as she danced around the reality of sex.

GRACE (bites bottom lip nervously) this is……….it……….it's really going to happen……….tonight?

* * *

"Zoe wants to stay at you're fathers tonight………do you want to go over there too?" Lily asked her daughter.

"No……….I'm fine here………" Grace murmured.

Lily nodded, and turned back to her vanity mirror, smudging on some lipstick.

"Mum………" Grace began, as she looked up at her mother.

"Hmmm?" Lily asked, looking at her daughter's reflection in the mirror, she was sitting on the edge of her bed.

"What was you're fist time like?" Grace spoke so softly, Lily could hardly hear her.

"First time?" Lily asked, not quite understanding.

"Yes……….first time……….sex………." Grace supplied, and Lily nearly fainted.

"Why do you ask?" she said, turning to face her daughter.

"There comes a point in every teenage girls life when she asks that question, mum……….." Grace said, looking at her mother. She looked pretty tonight, wearing denim jeans and a light brown jumper, her hair hanging loosely around her shoulders. Plain……….but natural……….pretty.

"Well………ere………..it was………." Lily stammered.

"Was it perfect? Less than perfect? A total disaster? Do you want me to pretend I never asked because reliving the memory is just too horrible?" Grace asked, a small smile spreading across her lips.

Lily laughed, and tossed her hair to the side. She took a seat beside her daughter, running a hand gently through her hair.

"Sex is never perfect, sweety" she began, and Grace felt her heart sink a little. "You want it to be………..because it's you're first time, and you're entire womanhood depends on that first time being absolutely perfect!" Lily looked down at her hands, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her lips, "but it never is………." She said, whimsically.

"But what about you're first time?" Grace urged.

Lily sighed, and turned back to her daughter, "Jonathan Price………he was a year older than me and we'd been going out for 8 months……….. I was 17."

Lily let out a small laugh, "I remember, the girl he went out with before me was very pretty……….gorgeous even………..and they'd gone out for 12 months before he broke it off."

Grace was about to ask what that had to do with anything, when her mother continued; "Laura Benson" Lily laughed, the girl's face flashing in her mind. "It was a Saturday night, and we were at a party………and Laura was there. I got very jealous when she and Jonathan started talking………so I pulled him aside and started screaming at him!" Lily cringed slightly, but continued none the less; "I asked him if they'd had sex and if he still loved her………..I cursed him with every profanity under the sun!"

The smile tugging at Lily's lips finally broke, and crept across them; "he didn't say anything, just looked at me and let me yell at him until I was blue in the face. And then, when I was out of breath, he brushed his hand against my arm and said 'I never loved her the way I love you'……….and I remember thinking………..this is the guy I want to share my heart with……………"

"Did he have sex with her!" Grace asked, and Lily turned to her, shaking her head slightly. "He told me that they almost did………on numerous occasions………….but he couldn't do it, because it never felt right……….and that was why he left her, because them being together didn't feel right."

"I remember looking into his blue eyes" she turned to Grace, "he had lovely blue eyes!" Grace nodded, and waited for her mother to continue.

"And I asked him 'do we feel right?' and he just smiled a nodded."

Lily skimmed over the rest, cautious of the time, "we went back to his house and……….." she let the ending dwindle, until finally Grace smiled.

"It sounded perfect to me," she said.

Lily nodded, "But it wasn't………it was clumsy and awkward………….." she frowned, but then the smile broke out again; "but I suppose in the end……….you don't remember any of the bad……….you block it out, so that your only left with that perfect, sweet memory"

"And besides………its not so much the 'sex' you remember………." Lily added.

"What do you mean?" Grace asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lily looked at Grace again, "it's waking up the next morning in his arms".

* * *

And with that, Lily got up from the bed, and fussed over her hair again- leaving her daughter to leave the room in a trance……….as she pictured herself……….waking up in Eli's arms.

Eli opened the front door, and just as he walked inside the house, he met Grace who was coming down the stairs.

"Eli!" she whispered, with a smile.

He winked at her, but was careful to keep his distance, just in case his father or Lily found them. He restrained from scooping her up in his arms and kissing her.

"It's only us home tonight" she smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

Eli was about to ask why, when his father entered, and started spouting out orders, running over the details of where he would be tonight, with Jessie and Lily at Karen's house to discuss some issues concerning Jessie.

Eli nodded, "and Zoe?" he asked.

"At my dads" Grace supplied, unable to keep down a wide smile.

"Well dad……….I was sort of hoping to make an announcement tonight………." Eli started, but realized his father wasn't listening. He was hunting for the car keys.

"But I can save it until tomorrow" Eli murmured.

"Ok son" Rick said, "LILY! JESSIE! Lets go!" Rick called up the stairs once he found the keys.

"Coming!" came the joint reply.

"You kids behave tonight!" Rick warned both Eli and Grace.

Lily kissed Grace on the forehead, "don't stay up too late" she warned.

"If Katie calls tell her where I am!" Jessie said, and Eli nodded.

In a matter of seconds, Grace and Eli were standing alone, in the big empty house.

"Well this is lucky!" Eli finally breathed, turning to Grace.

There was something about her tonight. The way her hair sat carelessly on her shoulders, her wild-dark eyes, pouting red lips………there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Grace nodded, and stared, hard at Eli.

ELI maybe I should tell her tonight……….just her………she deserves to know before the rest of the family…………..

"Eli" Grace suddenly whispered, breaking the surreal silence.

"I love you," she said, before Eli could say anything.

"I love you too" he replied.

Grace took a few steps forward; she pressed herself up against Eli; allowing her lips to brush against his for a moment, before pulling away and talking in a husky breath; "I want to be with you"

Her curvaceous body melted next to his, as he wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her into him; "what do you……….?" Eli began, but Grace cut in by kissing him, hard, on the lips.

"I've loved you for the longest time………..and now I want to take our love that little bit further………" she supplied, kissing him again.

"Grace………" he tried, but was unable to break from her lips long enough to ask her another question.

Finally, she pulled away; and Eli panted heavily. She untangled herself from his arms, turning away from him; she took his hand in hers, and led him towards his bedroom. "I don't quite understand………." He started again, as she closed the door behind them.

Grace turned back, lunging into him; taking his head in her hands, she kissed him feverishly. And he was unable to refuse her.

Grace's hands wandered down to his shirt, fumbling with the buttons, she started to undo them quickly. Eli finally clicked, and pulled away from her.

"You want to………."

"Have sex," she said, staring at him, his first three buttons undone.

"Since when?" He asked, surprised.

Grace sighed and ran a hand through her hair; this was not how she thought it would be.

"What do you mean since when? We have talked about this for the last……….."

"2 weeks!"

Grace nodded, solemnly.

"Grace………." Eli began, stepping towards her, "I don't want you to rush into this, and regret it the next day………" he said, wrapping his arms around her.

But Grace pulled away, and stared at him icily; "why would I ever have any reason to regret loving you!" she exclaimed, her wild eyes staring into his face.

Eli stood very still for what felt like an eternity; her words echoing in his mind. If he told her tonight, about Philadelphia……….she would have every reason to regret ever falling in love with him………..

"I………….err……….." he stammered, trying to regain himself.

"Eli!" Grace sighed, stepping forward, into his arms again.

He looked down into her face; her sullen, sunken eyes staring into his, and he wrapped his arms around her middle.

"We don't have to……….if………..if you don't want to……….." she sighed, unable to mask her disappointment and surprise at his refusal.

"Don't want to!" he repeated, creasing his brow.

Grace nodded slowly, but never broke their gaze.

"Grace……….." Eli whispered, brushing a hand against her soft cheek; "look at you………..your beautiful………….." he bent down, kissing her lips softly; "breathe taking………….." he said huskily, as his lips made their way down to her collar bone, he tugged at her blue sweater, moving the collar to the side so he could kiss her; "stunning…………." He pressed his lips against her neck, kissing it gently; "incredible………..", he let the word linger as his lips found hers again, and before he kissed her, he whispered; "of course I want to have sex with you………..just look at you……….." and he kissed her, delicately at first, and then firmer as her hands pressed flat against his chest.

"Then why……….?" Grace began, as she pulled away for a moment.

Eli stopped kissing her; he pulled back so he could look into her face again; "why wont you make love to me?" Grace whispered, and felt her cheeks burn red.

Eli sighed, and untangled himself from Grace- turning around, he sighed again, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I didn't think a guy would need this much persuading………." Grace scoffed under her breath.

Eli turned around; "believe me Grace………I could start kissing you right now and never stop………there is nothing I'd like more than to peel off that blue sweater of yours and hold you……….naked………in my arms…………" the words spilled out of him, uncontrollably.

Grace stared at him; feeling her face burn deeper and deeper with every word he'd said; "then why?" she asked, sternly.

Eli sighed again, and turned away from her. "Because………I love you………and I don't want to lose you………and I don't want you to regret loving me because of a rash decision……….."

GRACE this is why I want him to have my heart.

She took a few steps forward, resting her hand on his shoulder; "that's never going to happen" she whispered, and kissed his cheek.

Eli turned around, so he was face on to her- he reached up, and cupped her head in his hands, knowing he had no control over what would happen next.

Grace's breathing became heavy, as he moved his face close to hers, so she felt his hot, sweet breath on her cheeks and neck. "I want you," she whispered, before their lips met, "and I need you" he replied'; then their lips collided in a sweet sensation.

The kiss was clumsy and careless, as Eli's hands cupped her face, she could feel them shaking, and as hers rested against his chest- he could feel hers trembling too.

Her hands began slowly unbuttoning his shirt again; but she fumbled with every button, and after a moment of trying to kiss and undo the buttons at the same time; she had to pull away to concentrate on his shirt.

She peeled it off, and kissed his bare chest three times, before looking up into his face again and kissing his lips feverishly.

He tugged at the bottom of her jumper, and she raised her arms above her head so he could slip it off- he kissed her bare chest, and brought his hands to her back, to unlatch her bra with almost no difficulty.

They were both breathing fast and heavy now, their breaths landing on each other's bare skin like a hot breeze.

Eli wrapped his arms around Grace's middle, lifting her up; he walked to his bed- and lay her down gently. While he lay on top of her, he shrugged his jeans off, undoing them quickly, and helped Grace to slip her cargos off aswell.

**_This years love had better last  
Heaven knows it's high time  
And I've been waiting on my own too long  
But when you hold me like you do  
It feels so right  
I start to forget  
How my heart gets torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Feeling like you can't go on_**

"Are you ok?" Eli asked, as he looked down at her; Grace only nodded in response, and wriggled beneath him so she was more comfortable. Eli positioned himself, and slowly slipped into her; "Eli………" she croaked, and he stopped. "Be gentle………" she whispered, and Eli lowered his lips, kissing her forehead lightly, she nodded; and felt him inside of her.

**_Turning circles when time again  
It cuts like a knife oh yeah  
If you love me got to know for sure  
Cos it takes something more this time  
Than sweet sweet lies  
Before I open up my arms and fall  
Losing all control  
Every dream inside my soul  
And when you kiss me  
On that midnight street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singing ain't this life so sweet_**

It was an awkward sensation. She closed her eyes, and let out a small breath, that sounded more like a whimper; she felt Eli ease; and the pain wasn't so bad.

**_This years love had better last  
This years love had better last_**

He knew when she wasn't comfortable, and re-positioned himself. He talked to her in calming whispers- always wanting to know if she was all right. And Grace would only murmur or nod in response. It was nothing like she imagined it would be. Her mother was right when she said sex was never perfect.

**_So whose to worry  
If our hearts get torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Don't you know this life goes on  
And won't you kiss me  
On that midnight street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singing ain't this life so sweet_**

Grace knew it would hurt………but not this much………she also didn't imagine it to be so uncomfortable. And she knew she wasn't doing much, just lying there, wriggling every now and then. But in between the confusion and fear, there wasn't much else for her to do. She was glad Eli was experienced, or else she wouldn't have a clue where to start.

**_This years love had better last  
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last_**

When it was all over, Eli rolled over so he was beside her, and Grace moved her head to his chest, curling up in a ball beside his body. He draped an arm over her bare shoulders, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Are you alright?" he asked, after an eternity of silence.

"Fine" Grace said, in a small voice.

"Grace………" Eli said.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you………I really do…….."

Grace snuggled in closer to him, knowing they only had a few hours to lie together before their parents got home; "I love you back………." She replied, and smiled.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE: **song was David Gray's 'this years love' 


	86. Chapter 86

Eli was propped up against the head board of his bed- one arm draped around Grace's body as she lay beside him, one of her arms lay across his chest. He looked down at her sleeping body- the soft moonlight that was pouring through his window illuminating her creamy skin. The sheets were tucked down around her middle, revealing her supple breasts. Her hair was scattered across his pillow, and she was breathing light, sweet breaths.  
He studied her features. Even, lightly and gently, ran his fingers across her arms and chest- and then her face, tracing his forefinger along her top lip, and then along the creases of her brow. She slept with a frown on her face, as though she was concentrating really hard on the dreams she was having……...or reliving the bad day she had…………either way, it was dead cute, and made Eli smile from ear to ear. 

ELI (looks down at hands, and then up to camera) why am I leaving her behind? She's the only person that has ever made me feel like……...something……….she's the only girl………….(frowns) she's the only girl I have ever really loved completely and totally………..(smiles) the only girl I'm going to keep loving long after my life collapses……….like I know it will, around me!

Eli looked over at the clock on his bedside table, it was 9:30.

"Grace" 

She let out a soft murmur before rolling over and coiling her legs around Eli's middle.

He let out a small laugh, and brushed a hand against her subtle cheek; "Grace………..you have to go,…………" he whispered.

"Hmmm?" she asked in a moan.

"It's 10:00………..dad and Lily will be back soon………."

"I want to stay here………" she replied, opening one eye cheekily.

Eli smiled, and bent his head down, kissing her cheek lightly; "I want you too aswell…………but you have to go…………."

Grace opened both her eyes, and stared up at Eli's face, a smile slowly spreading across her pink lips.

"What?" Eli asked in a whisper, moving his head close to hers.

"My mum was right…………" Grace said softly, and giggled as Eli raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"The best part is waking up in you're arms……….."

He smiled, and moved his lips close to hers; "so you don't regret……….?" He started, but Grace cut him off by shaking her head softly, and then kissed his lips; "not one bit" she said, firmly.

"I want you to stay" Eli moaned as Grace pulled away.

"You know I can't……….." she replied, throwing the covers off herself.

Eli studied her naked body, unable to remove his cheeky smile; "but I really want you to!" he groaned again.

Grace sat at the edge of his bed, legs dangling over the edge; she bent down and grabbed her sweater, pulling it over her head.

Eli wrapped an arm around her middle, and pulled her back slightly; his lips meeting her neck in a kiss; "I want to wake up with you in the morning" he said, running a hand across her bare legs.

She laughed out, as she felt his hands wandering across her flesh; "I have an idea………" she exclaimed.

Still kissing her neck and running his hands over her body, "What's that?" he murmured, without pulling his lips from her skin.

"We run away to Las Vegas and elope!" she laughed, turning her head to the side and meeting Eli's lips.

"Tonight?" he asked; knowing it couldn't happen.

"Tonight" she replied, pulling away from him and slipping into her cargo pants.

"You wouldn't be teasing me with empty promises, now………would you?" he asked as he watched her stand up and adjust her clothes.

Grace turned around, a sly smile across her mouth, "of course not, my dear!"

Eli laughed, and Grace walked towards his door; "You don't really have to go right now, do you?" he asked, far more serious this time.

"I don't make empty promises…………" Grace said over her shoulder, "but I do sleep and run……….." she said, opening the door.

Eli scoffed; "I feel so used!" he grinned.

Grace turned around and put her hands on her hips, tilting her head to the side; "feel like being used again tomorrow night!" she asked.

Eli's eyes lit up, and a big cheesy, male I'm-gonna-get-laid-again look came across his lips.

Grace blew him a kiss and left his room, leaving Eli sprawled across his bed- left with his thoughts of a naked Grace, and his hands running along her soft skin…………and the ever-impending reminder……….that he has to tell her!

* * *

"Well that was a complete waste of my time!" Jessie yelled as she stormed into the house.

"Honey!" Rick tried, but she was already bolting up the stairs.

Lily rested a hand on his shoulder and shook her head, "don't even try to tell her she's wrong…………"

Rick sighed; "I know………"

"I don't believe Karen was so stubborn………." Lily said, looking down at her feet.

"Hmmm" Rick murmured, "she and Jessie together screamed the place down………."

Lily nodded, "they're too much alike" she sighed.

"Tell me about it!" Rick agreed, rubbing his forehead.

"Maybe I should go and see Jessie………"

Rick turned to Lily, "will she talk to you?" he asked, trying to suppress his doubt.

Lily shrugged "worth a shot"

* * *

"Jess?"

"Go away"

"I can't do that"

Jessie sat up and stared icily at Lily as she approached her.

"I won't talk to you!" she warned.

"That's fine……….. I was planning on doing most of the talking anyway…………"

Jessie crossed her arms and sat still as Lily took a seat at the end of Jessie's bed, a parcel in her hands.

"Jessie………..you're mother means well…………" Lily started.

"Don't even try and stand up for her!" Jessie spat.

Lily sighed, "your not going to make this easy for me………..are you…..……?" she asked, rubbing her forehead.

"Well none of you are making this easy for me!" Jessie remarked.

"Much as you think we are………we're not out to get you or make you're life hell, Jess………."

"Sure seems like it!"

"Well nothing is ever what it seems!" Lily retorted.

Jessie pouted and scoffed under her breath, "I thought you of all people would be on my side………."

"You're side?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jessie turned to her, "Yes! Because unlike my mother……….you tend not to judge people……….you accept them……….."

Lily let out a sarcastic laugh; "I think you have me on too high a pedestal!"

Jessie turned away, "well either way……..you let me down………"

"Me? Personally? I am the single reason for you're unhappiness?"

Jessie turned back to her, her face softened now; "well……..no……….."

"Jess………..contrary to your thoughts about all the adults in you're life being against you………… I personally think the idea of you seeing a psychiatrist is ludicrous because I have never seen you happier than when you are with Katie……….." Lily sighed, "now I don't want to make you're mother out to be the bad guy……..because I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't do the exact same thing as her if it were Grace in you're situation…………."

Somehow, Jessie doubted that.

"You're mother loves you….……..and you're father………..and Eli…………and me…..…..and Katie" Lily started again, "And sometimes the people that love you the most, are the ones that tend to make the biggest mistakes in what's best for you……….but only because they are trying so hard to make you happy………so hard infact that they can't see what you really need………they can't see that you don't really need them to make decisions about what's best for you!"

Jessie felt her eyes well up, knowing deep down…..that was true.

"Here" Lily said, passing Jessie the brown paper parcel. It was flat and square, obviously a book.

"I finally put this together for you……..sorry it's so late……….but, happy birthday none the less" and with that, Lily stood up, and walked down the stairs, leaving Jessie alone.

She slowly unwrapped the parcel, finding a photo album. It was a beautiful album; especially customized- it had a deep crimson cover, with swirly writing on the front that said 'Happy Birthday Jessie'.

She slowly opened the first page, and gasped when she saw the first three pictures. One of her, Eli, Grace and Zoe all dressed up for her birthday party. There was also one of Jessie with Henry and her mother, and the other photo was one of Jessie, her father and Lily.

She slowly opened each page, and each had beautiful photos from Jessie's birthday. Jessie standing with her friends, dancing, pulling faces. They were all beautiful. And then, in the middle of the album was a picture of Jessie and Katie, when they were slow dancing. She laughed as she studied the mortified faces in the picture that looked on at Jessie in Katie's arms. The photo was by itself, with the same swirly writing at the bottom that read 'true love'. Jessie allowed a single tear to escape.

A few more pages through was a lovely picture of Grace, enclosed in Eli's arms. Obviously a candid picture taken by Lily, who thought nothing of the harmless dance. Nothing is ever what it seems………..Jessie thought, as she smiled at the picture- Grace looked beautiful in her flowing dress, and Eli looked so handsome in his tux. Both their eyes were closed as they melted in each other's arms. Nothing is ever what it seems.


	87. Chapter 87

Eli rifled through the box of new deliveries- not so much paying attention to the hard cover novels, he was more enthralled in his memory as he replayed last nights events……….Grace's bare legs crossing his bed, her arms wrapped around his middle, holding him close, her sensuous lips.

Eli looked up for a moment- and saw a girl wearing a red jumper and dark denim jeans breeze into the store; he could have sworn it was Grace. He went back to his books, but out of the corner of his eye, saw the girl heading towards him. He looked up, and a smile crossed his lips as he saw it was Grace- looking beautiful as ever..………..her hair wind blown and scattered across her shoulders, cheeks and nose a fresh red- much like the colour of her jumper. Her lips curled into a smile.

"What are you doing here?" Eli asked, unable to stop himself from wrapping one arm around her middle- regardless of whether Jake or Judy saw them.

Grace smiled mischievously, "I stopped by to see if you wanted to go out the back for a quickie………" she raised an eyebrow cheekily "hows about it, stud!"

Eli looked around the store quickly, it was still early in the morning- and the few customers surrounding them made for a good cover- he bent down quickly and kissed her lips, hard; "really?" he asked, pulling away, a twinkle in his eye.

Grace giggled and playfully punched his arm; "sorry man meat………I'm only here to pick Zoe up…..….." Grace shrugged, and moved in for a quick peck on his cheek.

Eli released her from his grip as he saw Judy walk in from the far door; "what did I tell you Grace Manning………empty promises!" he warned with a broad smile.

Grace stepped away, "I have to go………but I will see you tonight…….." she smiled, and began to walk towards Jake's office, but not before looking over her shoulder and calling out, "I promise!"

Eli laughed and watched her disappear into Jake's office.

He went back to the books, when suddenly, he remembered his promise to Jake yesterday………he promised to tell his family about Philadelphia………what if Jake mentioned it to Grace…………?

* * *

"Hey Gracie!" Jake exclaimed, as he kissed her forehead.

"Hi dad" Grace smiled up at him, "I'm here to take Zoe home…….."

"Oh, well I could have done that sweety!"

Grace shuffled her feet slightly, "yeah well……….I figured you'd be really busy………and she's probably annoyed the hell outta you, so I thought I'd take her off you're hands ASAP" she lied.

Jake smiled and walked to his desk, stapling a few pieces of paper together; "Zoe's picking out a book to take home, she'll only be a sec" he said, and then turned to his daughter, "how was you're evening last night?"

Grace smiled, a far off smile: "it was fine………Eli and I stayed in while mum, Rick and Jessie were out at Karen's………."

"Why didn't you and Eli go!"

"Private meeting about Jessie's future………not for our ears…..….." Grace replied, looking down at her feet.

Jake nodded slowly as he studied his daughter's expression; "and what do you think about Eli's plans?" he asked, slowly and cautiously.

Grace's head shot up as she creased her brow, "what do you………" she began, but the door to Jake's office flung open and Eli stood before them.

"Geez Eli!" Jake exclaimed, staring at him.

"Sorry Jake, but I need to talk to you……….urgently!" Eli said, exasperated.

"Eli what's this………." Grace began, but silenced herself- turning back to her father.

"Sounds important……….I better go" she walked to him, kissing his cheek quickly; "have a nice day," she said, turning towards the door, "you too Eli" she said, exiting the office.

Eli closed the door behind him, and turned back to Jake's scowling face; "you didn't tell them?" Jake spoke before Eli could explain himself.

He shook his head slowly, "but only because they went out and………"

Jake raised his hand and Eli became quite; "tonight Eli!" Jake warned, "or the deal is off!"

And with that Eli creeped out of his office; knowing there was no way around it now.

* * *

Eli sat very still in the car, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning a glowing white.

He'd never felt so scared in all his life- and he hoped he never would again after tonight.

He stared at that front door, urged himself to open the car door and stride towards the house- hold his head high as he opened the door. Remain calm throughout the entire evening……..and then right when he was sure the timing was perfect………he'd clear his throat and tell them……..easy as that………easy as that!

Slowly Eli opened the car door, and got out- making the sluggish walk towards the front door…………..easy………..as………….that.

* * *

"Eli what do you want to watch?" Jessie asked while pressing the remote.

Eli didn't reply, she turned to her brother and frowned; "talk much?" she asked sarcastically.

Grace reached her hand over, clasping his tightly; Eli jumped slightly, her touch unpredictable. "You ok?" she asked softly.

Eli gave a small nod and turned back to the television; concentrating hard on the national geographic channel.

Grace released his hand and turned to the t.v aswell, but continued to look at him out of the corner of her eye- something wasn't right.

* * *

"Pass the salt please"

Zoe handed it to her mother and Eli watched as Lily sprinkled it over her meat.

"This is delicious honey" Rick commented, looking up and smiling at Lily, who blushed slightly.

"How fast can rabbits run?" Zoe asked Jessie who was sitting beside her.

"They don't run they……….they hop……….." Jessie replied quickly, and then shoved a fork full of lettuce in her mouth.

"So the radio station wants to add 10 minutes to my segment" Lily spoke across the table to Rick who nodded with deep concentration, "as though it makes an entire amount of difference!" Lily scoffed as she bit into a dinner roll.

"Don't be so down about it, Lil……….10 minutes is 10 minutes more!" Rick replied, and bit into a dinner roll of his own.

ELI (makes a deep sigh)

Eli moved his carrots around his plate, hoping no one had noticed that he hadn't so much as lifted a fork to his mouth.

But Grace did………she was looking up at him every now and then, between her conversation with Zoe and Jessie about whether or not rabbits run or hop………she'd been keeping an eye on him, and knew, by his mannerisms and silent eyes, that something was wrong.

ELI (sighs again, looks down at his shaking hands)

Eli lifted his eyes, and caught Grace looking at him. As their eyes connected, she frowned and mouthed 'you ok?' to which Eli looked away, pretending to not have heard her.

Grace wished she was sitting beside Eli- so she could reach over and squeeze his hand, make him look at her so she could ask with her eyes if he was alright………if there was something on his mind……….

"Only 3 more weeks of holidays left for you Grace!" Lily said, and Grace had to look at her mother and nod.

"Then a semester of school……….Christmas break……….and then you start senior year!" her mother added, smiling excitedly at her daughter.

Grace nodded, "can't wait!" she mumbled, and brought a glass of water to her lips. The thought of senior year reminded her of Eli's plan to move into her first apartment with her.

"I have something to say"

Grace brought her glass down and rested it on the table, her brow creased as she looked at Eli- as the entire family looked at him.

"It's………" he cleared his throat, and sat upright in his chair, placing his fork down- he looked around the table, careful to avoid Grace's eyes; "it's pretty big news………."

ELI (holds head up, swallows, and opens his mouth as though about to speak)

"It's about a job I've been offered………" Eli started, and he heard as Grace exhaled a small breath.

"A job, Eli?" his father repeated, sitting back in his chair and listening anxiously to his son.

"Well, you all know about B & J bookstores opening up in Philadelphia………" Eli went on, and looked around the whole table as everyone gave a small nod of understanding. Everyone except Grace who simply stared at him, mouth agape……….

GRACE just breath……….just breath………..

"Well Judy and Jake need someone to go and live in Philly while the store gets up and going………and to live there and act as representative manager……….."

GRACE just………..just………….(shakes her head slowly, and looks up at camera, a questioning expression on her face)

There was a dull silence around the table as Eli let his voice linger- and then the reality set in.

"Acting manager?" Rick repeated.

Eli looked at his father, waiting for some sort of expression to break across his face………..he smiled……….Rick smiled at his son………

"Acting manager!" Rick said again, and Eli smiled aswell and nodded.

"My son is going to be acting manager of a big, new company!" Rick exclaimed.

Eli felt his face turn hot as he nodded again, "yep" was all he could say.

"Oh Eli!" Lily exclaimed, bringing a hand to her mouth, "that is fantastic!" she added.

"E!" Rick practically yelled with joy as he leapt from his seat, and held his hand out to Eli- who shook it vigorously, "I couldn't be more proud!" Rick beamed.

"Really?" Eli asked, feeling pride, joy and a small bit of fear well up inside him.

Rick pulled Eli out of his chair, and held him in a tight hug; "of course I am!" he exclaimed.

"Can I have the garage?" Zoe asked her mother.

"I………I don't know hun………" Lily replied with a smile.

"Does you're mother know?" Rick asked, as he released Eli.

He nodded, "sorry I didn't tell you sooner………"

"It's fine……..fine………..!" Rick replied, and was about to go on;

"When?"

Rick's voice died down as the whole room looked at Grace- who was sitting very still, and looking very small, her face was pale and her lips were pursed, her eyes were staring far off.

"When do you leave?" she asked again, not looking up at Eli.

"By the end of the month" he replied, in a dull voice.

Grace scoffed, and looked up to him, her eyes wild and watering; "3 weeks?" she asked, frowning at him.

Jessie looked from her brother to Grace, and back again, as the couple stared, hard at each other. She let her hand slip across to Grace's beneath the table, but Grace pulled hers away quickly.

"How long have you known?" Grace practically screamed, she felt her eyes stinging, and she knew everyone was looking at her………she knew………..but she didn't care.

Eli mumbled something, as he shuffled his feet nervously; "how long?" Grace asked, again.

"Grace……..stop it!" Lily tried, but her daughter ignored her.

Grace stared at Eli, never once looking away from him with her icy eyes, "how long, Eli?" she asked, quieter this time.

"A little over a month" he replied, and looked down to his feet.

Grace's mouth went dry and her hands started to shake, she could feel tears building up. She looked around the table, at everyone staring at her, and then she averted her eyes back to Eli, who looked up at her again.

Her eyes said everything. They revealed every emotion welling up inside of her, tearing her apart. The anger, sadness, betrayal, fury………it was all there for Eli to see……….it was there in her beautiful eyes………they said everything she could never possibly put into words.

Grace pushed her chair out from the table, "excuse me," she whispered, and she stood up, walking through the kitchen- leaving an echo of silence in the dining room as the family listened to her footsteps up the stairs.

"What was………" Rick started.

"That time of month……….." Jessie tried, biting her bottom lip.

Lily looked to Eli, seeing how hurt he was by Grace's outburst. "No………she just loves her brother too much………" she said, and gave Eli a supporting, warm smile.

"I'm sure she really is thrilled for you, E" Rick said, patting his sons back.

"She probably just wishes it was her moving out of home!" Lily tried again, "she's so eager to go off to University, and start out on her own…..….she's probably jealous that you get to do all that before her…….."

Eli nodded, and then looked to his father, "I better go talk to her…….."

"Just let her be Eli" Lily said, but Eli shook his head, "no……..I really should" he said, and left the dining room.

Jessie reached for Grace's water and took a sip; "and I thought I had problems…..….." she muttered to herself.

* * *

Eli didn't bother to knock, he slowly opened Grace's door, to find her room black and lightless, the outline of her figure sitting at her desk.

He walked in, closing the door behind him, and flicking on her light.

Her back was to him, hunched over, but he couldn't hear any sound coming from her, she wasn't crying like he thought she would be.

"Grace, I am so sorry" he started, walking to her quickly.

He laid a hand on her back, but she shrugged him off viciously.

"Grace………" he said again, stepping infront of her. He brought his hand beneath her chin, urging her to lift her head and look at him.

Her head lifted, and her hand slapped his away- her eyes were dark and wild, her brow creased and her lips firm.

"Say something………" he pleaded, but she said nothing, only stared up at him in silence.

"Please say something………anything………." He tried again; "tell me you hate me………tell me long distance relationships can work……..ask me to stay………"

"Would you?" she asked in a stern whisper.

Eli looked away, "no"

"So what's the point?" she asked, speaking louder and angrier now.

He looked back to her, "the point is……….is………just tell me how you feel!" he clumsily stumbled over his words as he pleaded with her.

She slowly stood up, and walked to her bed, Eli stood still as he watched her, her back turned to him.

"I gave you…….." she started, slowly turning around.

"I gave you my heart……..my soul………my body!" her voice was wavering as she spoke through clenched teeth, her hands gripping fists as she stared at him with anger, "I gave you all of me……….and you just……..your just going to………" she threw her hands in the air, "leave!"

She felt tears run down her cheeks now, and she swiped at them, too angry to cry now.

Eli walked to her, opened his arms and held her- but she fought him, punched his chest hard and moved away from him- the tears coming heavy now, but she still swiped them away.

"No!" she yelled, "You don't touch me!"

"Don't do this Grace, please!" Eli tried, feeling his own eyes sting.

She allowed the tears to stream her face for a moment, as she stared at him, her bottom lip quivering; "why are you leaving me?" she asked through broken sobs.

Eli looked away, the pain of seeing her so wounded hurting him too much- but then he turned back to her, "I'm not………"

"Yes you are!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air again, "you told me lies Eli! You said you would never leave me! You said we could move in together when I leave high school! You lied to me!" she cried, holding her face in her hands for a moment.

Eli so much wanted to hold her close, to stroke her hair and whisper in her ear that he loved her, but he knew she would only push him away.

"I loved you!" she said, looking to him again, her cheeks watery from tears.

"I do love you!" he yelled back; he needed her to know that………she had to know that!

Grace slowly shook her head, "No! No you don't!"

He stepped forward and she took two steps back, holding her hands up in a warning, "don't touch me!" she said again.

Eli felt his eyes water, "just…..…..just let me hold you!" he pleaded, stepping to her again.

Grace held her head in her hands again, and Eli took the opportunity to embrace her; he wrapped his arms around her tight, refusing to let go………..even when she fought him, punched him with fists and tried kicking him, he held her tight until she became limp in his arms and sobbed against his chest; "I loved you!" she whispered between sobs.

He stroked her hair, "and I love you!" he said in her ear; and then she started crying loudly again. Her arms hung by her sides, as Eli's tangled around her fragile, small body. Slowly, he lowered her to the ground, but never let her go, and they sat there, Eli holding Grace, they sat on the ground in a small huddle while she cried.

"I didn't want to hurt you!" he whispered, stroking her hair gently.

"You didn't hurt me…….." she sobbed, "you killed me!".

And with that, Eli felt a tear run down his own cheek.

ELI (looks away from camera)

GRACE (looks away from camera)

**_Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance,  
for a break that would make it okay._**

**_There's always some reason  
to feel not good enough,  
and it's hard, at the end of the day._**

**_I need some distraction,  
Oh, beautiful release.  
Memories seep from my veins._**

**_Let me be empty,  
Oh, and weightless,  
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight.In the arms of the angel,  
fly away from here,  
from this dark, cold hotel room,  
and the endlessness that you feel._**

**_You are pulled from the wreckage,  
Of your silent reverie.  
You're in the arms of the angel,  
may you find some comfort here._**

**_So tired of the straight line,  
and everywhere you turn,  
there's vultures and thieves at your back._**

**_The storm keeps on twisting.  
Keep on building the lies  
that you make up for all that you lack._**

**_Don't make no difference,  
escape one last time.  
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,  
Oh, this glorious sadness,  
that brings me to my knees._**

**_In the arms of the angel,  
fly away from here,  
from this dark, cold hotel room,  
and the endlessness that you feel._**

**_You are pulled from the wreckage,  
Of your silent reverie.  
You're in the arms of the angel,  
may you find some comfort here._**

**_You're in the arms of the angel,  
may you find some comfort here._**

**_

* * *

_**

AUTHORS NOTE:

Song was Sarah McLachlan's 'angel', a really tragically, beautiful song that fit so well with this (I hope) emotional scene.


	88. Chapter 88

GRACE love? (Shrugs) Real love hurts; Real love makes you totally vulnerable and open; Real love will take you far beyond yourself; Real love will devastate you!

* * *

Eli rolled over onto his side, and listened to his husky breaths, as he lay awake in the stillness of his dark room.

He'd picked Grace up in his arms when her crying had died down, and tucked her underneath her covers- he told Lily and his father that they'd talked and she was feeling better…..…..but was now asleep………and they left it at that.

He rolled onto his back again and stared up at his ceiling- somewhere inside of him he could still hear her crying- could still feel her hot tears on his chest as he held still see her pained eyes as they stared at him, told him she was dying because of what he'd said………

How could he live 3 more weeks in this house………only 3 weeks………knowing how much he'd hurt her and how much she hated him……….how could he say goodbye after three weeks, knowing what he'd done to her?

* * *

"Grace?"

She almost jumped out of her skin when she heard Jessie's soft whisper.

Grace stared at Jessie as she stood in the kitchen, glass of water in hand, nightgown wrapped around her small body.

"I wanted to talk to you today……..see how you were………" Jessie whispered, walking briskly towards her; she was standing on the last step of the staircase, trying to make a quick and quiet exit.

Grace gave a small nod, "I……….I want to go out for a little while………" she murmured.

Jessie raised a hand to her stepsisters face; her cheeks were cold, like her eyes, her hair was limp and her whole body looked small and warn; she was wearing a black duffel coat that looked too big on her, and denim jeans.

"Where to?" Jessie asked, taking her hand back.

Grace bit her bottom lip and shrugged, "I don't know………just some place quiet………to be alone………to think……….to cry" her last words stuck in her throat and her tone quivered.

Jessie gave a small, understanding nod; "Ok" she murmured, looking down to her feet, unable to look into Grace's sad eyes for a moment longer.

"The park maybe……….or………..the hockey field at school………" Grace mumbled.

"Ok, just make sure your not home too late………" Jessie warned.

Grace nodded and walked past Jessie; who stood and listened as the front door opened and closed, she stood still, glass of water still in her hand; she stood at the bottom of the staircase, thinking how much her brother didn't deserve Grace………..

* * *

Eli stumbled into the kitchen, wearing dirty chord pants and a black t-shirt. Jessie lifted her head and scowled at him.

Eli looked down at his feet as he walked to the fridge; he could feel Jessie's anger, and her eyes piercing him.

"So………Philadelphia?" Jessie asked, sipping her coffee.

Eli sighed and turned to her, "what do you want from me, Jess?" he spat.

She looked into her cup and shook her head; "I don't want anything from you!" she replied bitterly, and then looked to her brother, "but I think Grace does………I think she deserves it!"

Eli shook his head slowly and turned back to the fridge.

"She's gone down to the park……….she left really early this morning" Jessie whispered, and Eli turned around.

Jessie slid off the kitchen stool, walking to the sink and emptying the last of her coffee; "I don't condone what you've done to her………but I would hate for you both to live in silence………and then for you to move away and see the look of regret on Grace's face………" she looked at her brother, "whatever you're reasons are for leaving, I suggest you tell her……..because right now she's thinking this is all her fault!"

* * *

She was sitting on one of the swings, not moving, sitting perfectly still, head bowed, shoulders slouched……….she looked tragically beautiful.

Eli walked towards her, hands dug deep in his pockets as he ran over what to say in his mind; but as he approached her, looked down at her, no words came to him.

"Jessie?" Grace whispered, not looking up.

Eli nodded, "she said you'd be here" he replied, numbly.

Grace nodded once, and said nothing more; so Eli took it upon himself to occupy the swing next to her, he grabbed the chains and turned so he was facing her.

"Grace…..." he started, but nothing else came, and her name hung in the air like a thick mist……..

"Could you please look at me?" he finally asked, and she did, she lifted her head and Eli's heart stopped as he stared into her sullen, sunken eyes.

"I………I didn't ever want to hurt you," he whispered, finding his voice somewhere deep inside himself.

Grace gave a small nod, "you know what………" she whispered.

"What?" Eli asked, his tone shaky.

Grace took a small breath and composed herself, "somebody once told me that you don't die from a broken heart………" she gave a small, sad laugh, and looked down at her feet, "you only wish you did………" she ended, and Eli sighed.

"I really screwed up, didn't I?"

She met his eyes again, she caw the pain behind them, she saw his apology; but she just didn't care; "you could say that" she replied, bitterly.

"I……..I am sorry Grace………"

"Why?"

"Because I hurt you and………" Eli started, but she cut him off.

"No……..I mean why are you taking this job?" she asked, in a small voice.

"Well because it's a great opportunity, a chance to make something of myself and………."

"Don't give me that Eli!" she suddenly hissed, "this isn't you're dream………working at my father's bookstore was just something you did to prove you were capable and to earn some cash………..it was never a dream or an aspiration for something more………so cut that logical 'dreams of bigger and better things' act, and tell me why?"

He looked to his feet and gave a half laugh, half sigh, "you know……I don't really know why………all I know is that if I didn't take it I'd feel like a failure again………fell like I could have been something and then threw the chance away………I hated feeling like that in high school……… I didn't want to feel like that ever again!"

Grace shook her head and looked into the distance, watched as a few cars drove by, "you were never a failure" she whispered.

"Sure felt like it,………" he replied.

"Why? Because you never lived up to what you're parents wanted you to be?" she asked, turning to him.

Eli looked anywhere but into her eyes, they were too powerful, too sad; "you could say that"

She scoffed at his response, "well I guess now you can be what they wanted you to be………and you can forget about who you wanted to be…….."

"Well so be it…… long as I don't miss out on another great opportunity…….."

"Wasn't I an opportunity?" she suddenly asked.

"Yes……..we were………"

"Were?"

"I'm sorry Grace! I really am……..but I have to go………I have to do this!"

She gave a small nod, "I know" was her only reply.

They sat for a moment, in complete silence, both refusing to look at the other, until finally Grace allowed her thoughts to pour out; "are we………are we still………..together then?" she whispered, not turning to look at him.

Eli said nothing. Being with Grace had always felt so right to him…..…..but now……..after hurting her so badly, did he trust himself to still be with her, and hurt her again when it came time for him to leave after 3 weeks?

Grace finally looked at him, biting her bottom lip; "I'll make this real easy for you Eli……….in the three weeks that we have left before you run away to Philadelphia……..are we going to be a couple, and try to make the most of the time we have left" she felt her eyes stinging, "or……are we really over as of now………as of right now………" a tear rolled down her cheek, "……..is the dream over?"

Eli looked away, off into the distance, avoiding her eyes. He didn't know, he loved her that was for sure. But what was the point if he was just going to leave and hurt her all over again.

"I'm not leaving you………I'm not running away from us,………" he whispered, still refusing to look at her. "But maybe it's best this way………….. To let go of us, before 'us' gets bad"

ELI did I really just say that?

"What makes you think we wouldn't work?" her voice was devastated, sobs were breaking through and tears were streaming down her cheeks as she stared at Eli's turned face, he didn't want to look at her, for fear that he'd take it all back………take back all the pain just to comfort her.

"Because eventually everything I love and care for will always collapse………..nothing ever goes right for me………maybe by ending this I'm just limiting the inevitable devastation that will come later"

ELI did I really mean that?

Grace slowly stood up, turned around, and started walking home. Eli stayed seated for a moment, watching her walk away, and then he stood aswell and ran after her.

"Grace……….." he started.

She stopped walking, and Eli had to double up on himself so he was standing beside her again- her eyes were blistered with tears and her lip was shaking, like the rest of her.

Her voice was unstable and cold, through clenched teeth she said; "I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh, so you don't see me cry, I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I'm going to smile and act like you didn't just crush me!" she started walking again……..Eli didn't try and stop her………he just let her go……..just-like-that.

_**And I wanna believe you,  
When you tell me that it'll be ok,  
Ya I try to believe you,  
But I don't**_

_**When you say that it's gonna be,  
It always turns out to be a different way,  
I try to believe you,  
Not today, today, today, today, today...**_

_**I don't know how to feel,  
tomorrow, tomorrow,  
I don't know what to say,  
tomorrow, tomorrow  
Is a different day**_

_**It's always been up to you,  
It's turning around,  
It's up to me,  
I'm gonna do what I have to do,  
just do**_

_**Gimme a lil time,  
Leave me alone a little while,  
Maybe it's not too late,  
not today, today, today, today, today...**_

_**I don't know how to feel,  
tomorrow, tomorrow,  
I don't know what to say,  
tomorrow, tomorrow  
Is a different day**_

_**And I know I'm not ready,  
Maybe tomorrow**_

_**And I wanna believe you,  
When you tell me that it'll be ok,  
Ya I try to believe you,  
Not today, today, today, today, today...**_

_**

* * *

**_

AUTHORS NOTE:

song was Avril Lavigne's: tomorrow.


	89. Chapter 89

"A toast……..to Eli!" Rick beamed, raising a wine glass. Everyone else at the table copied him, raising their glasses in a toast.

"To Eli!" they all said, in unison-, which just killed Grace.

Jessie's hand reached over and squeezed her stepsisters, and Grace felt some of the sadness melt away.

"Thankyou!" Eli murmured, looking around the table at all the broad smiles thrown at him- but his eyes landed on Grace who was sitting opposite him at the round table in the 'La Salsa' restaurant. They both awkwardly averted their gazes.

"Inter family relationships are so hard!" Grace whispered, leaning over to Jessie, who just squeezed her hand again.

"I think any relationship's a bitch!" Jessie replied quietly, and Grace sighed.

"I'm going outside for some fresh air!" Grace announced, pushing her chair out and standing.

"You feeling ok Gracie?" Lily asked, pushing her own chair out.

Grace raised a hand, "I'm fine……..just feel a headache coming on……… I'll go out by myself" she confirmed, and flashed a convincing smile at her mother.

"I have a Panadol in here somewhere………" Karen said, picking her bag up.

"Mum!" Jessie snapped, and Karen raised her head, "she's fine…….." Jessie ended, and looked down at the tablecloth.

"Thankyou anyway" Grace murmured, and she headed for the restaurants exit.

Eli watched her go, his eyes intently focussed on her figure as she walked through the doors.

He stood up, before he even knew what he was doing- "E?" his father asked.

"I'm just going to the bathroom" he murmured, and headed in that direction- but when he was sure no one noticed him, he bolted for the front door. Jessie watching him go, shook her head in disgrace.

It was cold outside, Grace was hugging herself and shifting her weight from foot to foot- her breaths were smoky white in the frosty air.

She didn't turn as the door opened, but as the figure approached, she made an effort to turn her head- she was unimpressed when she recognised it was Eli.

"You should get back inside……..don't want to miss you're party…….." she murmured, turning away from him.

"Well……..talking to you is more important right now…….." he replied, standing infront of her so her eyes couldn't ignore him.

"We've talked enough for one day!" Grace replied, and turned away, about to walk back into the restaurant, when Eli's hand rested on her shoulder, and something inside of her just melted and she had to turn back to him.

"I can't stand you being mad at me," he murmured quietly, retrieving his hand.

Grace was glad it was dark, so he couldn't see the calmed expression that came across her face when she touched him- or the pained one that came when he took his hand back.

Grace swallowed back a flood load of tears that she felt just bubbling to emerge; "let me be mad at you………please, Eli………don't try and apologize for any of this right now………" she whispered, quietly.

"I………I thought we could get through this………have one of those long-distance relationships……….but the more I thought about it………and believe me, I thought about it……….well……….the more it didn't make sense, because no doubt something would happen and………" he stammered, about to say more- when Grace leaned over and kissed him, a sultry, wet kiss- her lips were salty from fresh tears that had just escaped. Eli wrapped an arm around her middle, pulling her into him. This felt so right. So perfect. She felt so wonderful………and then she pulled away, touching a finger to her lips.

"I………I'm sorry………" she murmured, her voice cracking.

Eli mumbled something incoherent, his head light from the kiss.

"I need to be mad at you, Eli" she finally whispered, "please. It is the only way that I can keep you from seeing how much I really need you" Eli opened his mouth, about to say more. About to lean down and kiss her again. But she started walking back, she left their kiss dangling in his mind. Left him regretting himself.

* * *

"Knock, knock?" Jessie said as she pushed Grace's door open.

"Hey" Grace murmured, looking up from where she sat on the floor, at the end of her bed, diary in hand, still wearing the outfit she wore to dinner.

"Didn't much feel like going out tonight, did you?" Jessie asked quietly, as she took a seat on the ground beside her.

Grace shook her head glumly, "not much, no"

Jessie gave a sympathetic nod, "understandable" she murmured.

"Have you talked to him?" Grace asked, turning to her stepsister.

Jessie looked at her hands, "yeah….…..a bit……..he's being very passive about it all!"

Grace gave a small nod, "it's going to be a long three weeks, isn't it?" she asked in a small whisper, she felt her eyes tearing up again. She was so sick of crying, she was sure she was crying her life away.

Jessie put an arm around her shoulders, and Grace lowered her head to sit on Jessie's shoulder, "Yeah……..but you won't be alone………" Jessie replied as she rubbed Grace's arm soothingly.

* * *

"Morning, E?"

"I'm busy!"

"It's you're father!" Rick replied, and the door flung open.

"Packing already?" Rick said, entering the room full of boxes.

Eli nodded, "yeah……..I'll need you to send some of the bigger stuff up later on……once I'm settled" Eli said, as he threw some more c.d's into a box.

Eli had started packing late last night, when Grace's kiss was still pressing against his lips and his brain wouldn't stop stirring. He needed to take his mind off things……….off her………….

Rick nodded, "sure, sure!" he said, surveying the clustered room, "your really looking forward to this, aren't you?" he asked, and Eli stopped packing for a moment to look up at his father.

"Yeah! I mean……out on my own……..it's just gonna be one big adventure!" he replied, half smiling.

"Yes……..but it can also be a lonely adventure, E!" Rick said, softly

Eli stopped packing again to look up at his father as he leaned against his chest of drawers.

"And I just want you to remember you always have a home here……and with you're mother………and there is also a nifty invention called a telephone……..so you can call either of us for anything!" Rick ran a hand through his thinning hair, "advice, chat……….anything!" he added, staring at his son.

Eli nodded, feeling a knot in his throat, "thanks, dad" and he went back to packing.

Rick nodded, and opened the door; walking out he was sure he heard Eli make a small moaning sound, as though he was crying, but he said nothing.


	90. Chapter 90

**AUTHORS NOTE**:_ this is the final chapter in this season! It's a long one, so get comfy! The song at the end is Amy Studt's 'nothing I can do'- it's a really good song, and if you can, please listen to it!_

_Thankyou for all the reviews- complaints and compliments alike- I appreciate them all! Thankyou to all who read this fanfiction, thankyou to all who call me a good writer (you give me a seriously big head!) and just generally thanks for sticking with me for this very long story that I never intended to get over 80 chapters! Thankyou!  
_

* * *

The last two weeks had been a nightmare. Grace had to be dragged out of the house by Jessie and Katie, who were becoming more and more concerned by her depressed behaviour, every day.

Jessie had gone to her first session with a Dr. Meltro, last Friday. According to Jessie, she sat there, for an entire hour, keeping a tight lip. The Dr. tried, with all his training, to get something………anything……..out of her, but she refused to so much as blink!

Eli had been working late every night, going over ideas and plans with Jake and Judy. And when he came home, the family had usually already eaten dinner- and Grace had slunk away to her room- out of sight, which made Eli miserable, because he was dying to talk to her. And he had done so, on many occasions………tried to talk to her……..but every time she was very civil and distant. She preferred not to talk about their relationship, or 'them' at all……….truth be told, she was slowly trying to rid herself of Eli……..trying to pry him out of her system……..and to do that, she had to ignore him………had to get used to how the next year would be without him………

Eventually Eli got the idea, and decided to stop trying so hard. He figured when his departure time came closer, she'd soften up and come around to her senses. She had to………Eli couldn't imagine parting on bad terms with Grace………he just couldn't.

So, Eli had been spending more time at his mother's. She asked to have him over more often, before he left. Which was fine with Eli, who couldn't stand Grace's cold shoulder day in and day out………

But somehow those three weeks had slipped by so quickly……..and before anyone knew it……..Eli had only 3 days left………only 3 days before he was going out on his own……….three days for him to make things right with Grace………..

* * *

"I'm so sick of mum!" Jessie hissed, throwing her bag onto the backseat as she and Eli slid into their father's car.

"Ease up, Jess," he murmured, waving at his mother and Henry as they stood on the porch- watching the car drive off.

"If she asked me one more time how my session went………" Jessie murmured harshly under her breath.

"You didn't tell me," Eli suddenly said, looking at his sister out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" she asked, frustrated.

"You didn't tell me about mum's idea to send you to a psychiatrist again" he murmured, concentrating on the road.

Jessie fidgeted in her seat, "it was none of you're business" she replied, softly.

He scoffed at her response, "Jess! You're my sister! You should have told me………"

"Oh why? So you and mum could gang up on me and insist that I go because it'd be for the best? To straighten out this little lesbian phase I'm going through?" she didn't mean to yell, or sound so bitter, but she was still angry at her mother……..and now Eli had to bring it up……….

He turned to her for a moment, a half angry half sad expression darkening his face; "what are you on about?" he asked, coldly.

"Oh please Eli! Don't act as though having a lesbian sister doesn't freak you out completely!" she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest.

He turned back to the road, his brow creased in deep thought; "how long have you felt this way?" he asked, after a sea of silence.

Jessie fidgeted again, and stared out the window; "I dunno……since my party…….."

"So, for the last 3 months, you've thought I was against you? That I was disowning you because you're a lesbian?" he asked, slowly.

Jessie fell silent, and Eli had his answer- he turned to her, but she refused to look at him.

"That's it!" he suddenly snapped. He steered the car towards the kerb, parking it and taking the key out.

"Eli, what are you doing?" Jessie yelled, turning to him.

"Do you honestly think I would love you any less?" he asked, ignoring her bitterness, unbuckling his seat belt and turning to her.

"Start the car, Eli! It's been a long night and I want to go home!" she said, sternly, crossing her arms again and sitting back in the seat.

"No, Jess! You tell me right now, do you think I would ever love you any less for being a………" before he could finish, Jessie turned to him and yelled, "Yes!" her brow creased and her eyes furious.

The car fell silent………a thick silence that reverberated through the dark night. "Oh Jess!" Eli murmured, shaking his head slowly.

She felt hot tears running down her cheeks; "It's just that…….." her voice was calm now, "it's just that since I first told everyone……..you haven't been the same with me……you've been cautious and remote…….."

"It was a shock, I have to admit," he said, quietly.

Jessie turned to him, "but Eli! You are my brother…….. I thought I could turn to you when everyone else was against me………instead you just became cold and I could tell the idea just……..freaked you out and made you feel uncomfortable………."

They stared at each other for the longest time then- Jessie's tears streaming down her cheeks, Eli's lips pursed as he finally heard the truth from his sister.

"Jess…….." he finally murmured.

"Save it, Eli!" she said sternly, turning away from him and staring at the quiet road ahead of them- "don't say your sorry or anything………just don't………..because I don't want to hear it!" she said again, "I just really want to go home!"

What was he supposed to say? All that she'd said……..well……..some of it was true. Finding out his sister's secret was a shock. But it didn't mean he loved her any less. If anything he had a higher regard for her. Thought she was the bravest person he'd ever met.

"Ok, Jess" was all he murmured, and he turned the car key and pulled out onto the road again- completing the drive home, in silence.

* * *

Eli pulled into the driveway, turning the ignition off- both he and Jessie made no attempts to get out of the car; they simply sat in silence for a moment.

"I………..I know that you love me" Jessie whispered, not turning to look at her brother.

Eli nodded once, "good………because I would hate for us to be on bad terms or anything,………" he murmured.

Jessie nodded, and then turned to look at Eli; "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the psychiatrist………I wanted to………I really wanted to talk with you about it…..…..but"

"You thought I would be a jerk…….." he murmured, turning to her.

She gave a half smile and shrugged, "something like that"

"I am sorry Jess, that you ever thought I wasn't proud of you………that I thought differently of you because of who you are………"

She nodded again; "your proud of me?" she asked, in a small voice.

Eli nodded, "oh yeah! I mean……….you were able to do what I still cant!"

"What's that?"

"Show our parents who you really are………not caring what they think or what they'll say……….."

A tear escaped Eli's eye and rolled down his cheek; "your like my hero………" he added, with a laugh.

Jessie giggled aswell, and threw him a playful punch in the arm; swiping away fresh tears she smiled, "super Jess………" she murmured.

"Can leap tall buildings in a single bound and stand up to her parents,………" he murmured, laughing.

They sat there for a few minutes, just laughing, when finally Jessie spoke up again; "seeming as this is a night of reconciliation………." She murmured, "don't you think its high time you and Grace had a talk?"

Eli scoffed, "about what? The subject of 'us' is the last thing she ever feels like discussing!"

"She loves you Eli!" Jessie said sternly, "don't leave without her knowing that……….or you'll regret it for the rest of you're life………"

He gave a small nod, "even if I tell her that, it's not going to change the fact that I am leaving in three days time………and our relationship will still be……….unfinished"

Jessie reached over, laying a hand on her brother's shoulder; "that may be so……….but if you plan on letting her go, letting you're relationship go……….then you have to do it properly………don't leave any loose ends or harsh words in the air..……..let her know what she meant to you…….."

They sat in silence for another moment, "and maybe she'll stop being so stubborn and let you know how much you meant to her aswell" Jessie added, and unbuckled her seat belt, opened the car door and slid out.

* * *

"What time is you're flight tomorrow night?" Lily asked as she poured some orange juice for herself.

"Midnight"

"Oh, lovely!" she said, sarcastically, bringing the glass to her lips.

Eli nodded solemnly, "This is my last night in this house" he murmured, sipping his coffee.

Just then Grace breezed into the kitchen, "in this state!" she added, walking to the fridge.

Eli nodded and watched as she took out a bottle of water. Today was the last chance he had to talk to her, to smooth things over.

"I need to go to the mall today, mum" Grace announced, putting the water back.

"Why?" Lily asked, clearly unenthused with the idea of being Grace's chauffer today.

Grace shrugged, "Need to buy some things……..." she murmured, looking to the ground.

"I'll take you!" Eli piped up, and Grace shot him a stern glare.

"I was going over to my mums anyway…..…..to pick up some clothes I left there………" he added, trying to cover his enthusiasm with an excuse.

"Oh……..I………I don't want to be any trouble" Grace mumbled.

"No trouble!" Eli smiled, downing the last of his coffee and standing up; "are you ready to go now?" he asked, walking to the sink.

Grace carefully took a few steps away from him as he approached her; "actually, I could probably hold off on going to the mall for a day or two" she murmured, avoiding his eyes.

"Don't be silly, Grace! Eli's offering!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yeah!" he smiled, "I'm offering"

* * *

The car was dead silent- apart from the whooshing of cars that drove by. And it was uncomfortable, an uncomfortable, forced silence that pressed against both Eli and Grace's lips.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye; his strong hands grasped the steering wheel, his green eyes looked out at the freeway ahead of them, his hair blew across his brow slightly as a slither of wind poured in through the slightly opened car window.

He turned to her and she quickly averted her eyes out her window- studying the red Hyundai that whizzed past them- but he'd caught her gaze, and a small smile crossed his lips.

"So……..what are we buying at the mall……..?" he asked.

Grace said nothing.

"Do you want to go to my mum's first, then?" he asked, filling in her silence.

She sneered at him, exhaling a bitter breath- she turned to him, her eyes narrowed; "so talk!" she said through clenched teeth.

"That's what I'm…….." he began, but she interrupted him.

"I mean about us!" she spat back.

"Oh! Now you wanna talk about us?"

"No! Not really………actually that's the last topic I feel like discussing………but you obviously insisted upon driving me to the mall today, purely so we could have a nice little chat along the way……..to cleanse you're soul or something………so talk………don't beat around the bush………just talk!" she snapped, and looked out her window again.

"Cleanse my soul?" he repeated.

Grace nodded, "yeah! You don't want to go away feeling guilty about breaking my little heart………so you want me to forgive and forget so you can go away with a clear head…..…..thinking you left everything ok!"

"I know that when I leave tomorrow night, not everything will be ok!" he replied, a little bitterly.

"Well so long as you know that!" she spat back, crossing her arms over her chest.

"But miracles can happen!………" he said, trying to lighten the conversation.

"Unlikely!" Grace exclaimed "very unlikely!" and she pursed her lips.

* * *

Eli looked up, waving to Grace who was heading towards the small café- she'd insisted on doing her shopping by herself, and agreed to meet up with Eli an hour or so later- at this café.

She spotted him, and walked in his direction.

"What did you buy?" he asked, motioning for her to sit down.

But she didn't, she stayed standing, her lips pursed; "I don't feel like coffee or anything………..can we just go now?" she asked, bitterly.

Eli sighed, but stood none the less, moving his face close to Grace's, she flinched slightly- afraid that he would kiss her, afraid that she wouldn't stop him; "don't you ever get tired of hating me for being sorry?" he whispered, and walked away.

Grace turned, and watched him walk away- she ran, trying to catch up to him. Eventually she did, and had to quicken her pace to stay walking beside him.

"Are we going to you're mum's now?" she asked quietly, as they headed towards the car park.

Eli shook his head, but didn't look at her.

"But I thought……….." Grace stammered.

Eli stopped walking, as did Grace, he turned to her; "I just said that so I could take you out………so I could have one more chance at trying to make things right!" he said, and started walking again.

Grace looked after him, watching as he opened the car door; and then she moved towards the car, opening her door and sluggishly sliding in. she buckled herself in and sat quietly for a while as Eli pulled out of the car spot and onto the freeway again.

"I don't hate you," she finally whispered.

"Sure seems like it!" he hissed back.

Grace shrunk down slightly, and pursed her lips.

"Which really hurts cause………" he stopped himself from saying more, narrowing his eyes and concentrating on the road.

"Because why?" Grace urged.

"Because I still………I still love you………that's why!" he replied sternly.

Grace bit her bottom lip.

GRACE have you ever loved somebody?

ELI have you ever loved somebody?

GRACE even though you shouldn't……..even though you know its wrong and your just going to end up getting hurt!

ELI even though the other person feels absolutely nothing for you?

GRACE I have

ELI believe me!………I have!

"Oh" was all Grace could whisper.

Eli looked at her, from the corner of his eye. And suddenly, he remembered the strangest thing. The night they made love, Eli remembered looking down at Grace as she laid beneath him- he remembered looking down and seeing her close her eyes for a moment, and biting her lip as though she was concentrating so hard. It was a strange thing to remember, but it came to him just then, and he had to crack a small smile.

"Yeah……….'oh'………." he replied.

"Your leaving tomorrow night" Grace suddenly whispered.

Eli gave a small nod, "I know"

"To Philadelphia"

"Yes"

"I may never see you again"

Eli turned to her, his brow creased; "we're family, Grace……..of course you'll see me again!"

"I don't think I can," she said, turning from him.

"What? What does that mean?"

"It means maybe it would hurt too much to see you on the holidays and long weekends……..knowing what we had………knowing what we gave away……..what you gave away………"

"Your saying that once I leave you never want to see me again?"

She stayed quiet, and Eli scoffed at her sudden idea.

"Well I cant do that!"?

"Why not?"

"Because that would be completely cutting you off! Forever……..never seeing you again!"

"You made the decision to do that when you took the job in Philadelphia!"

"No! I made the decision to become something! Not to say goodbye to you forever!"

"Maybe you did………you just didn't realize" she was blubbering now; she could feel hot tears running down her cold cheeks.

Eli turned to her, gripped the steering wheel harder, he turned to her with soft eyes; "you're asking me to say goodbye?" he whispered, "you're asking me, that when I leave in two days………to never see you again? To leave you behind forever?" he asked, slowly and cautiously.

She turned to him, her brooding, sullen eyes wet from tears and saddened from their talk; she said nothing, only nodded once.

Eli turned to the road again, and then back to Grace. He couldn't drive amidst this talk. So, like he did last night with Jessie, he pulled over, and pulled the key out- turning to Grace, his eyes pleading; "I………I cant do that!" he said, sternly.

Grace swiped at tears, "I'm asking you to!" she said, her voice shaky.

Eli swallowed back his own tears; but no matter how hard he tried to blink them away, his eyes still watered; "how………how can you ask me to do that after I just told you……..just now……..that I still love you?" he asked, with a quivering tone.

Grace bit her bottom lip, and looked anywhere but into his eyes; his crying eyes.

"Look at me!" he suddenly exclaimed, and she did, with her sad eyes she looked into his; "because maybe when you said that you still love me……..something inside of me doubted whether or not I still love you………"

Eli exhaled a small breath, he ran a shaky hand through his hair and felt tears escape; "but I do…….. I really do………" he whispered, more to himself.

He looked up again, into her face, her beautiful face; "I really do still love you!"

Grace reached her hand out, and rested it against his cheek; his face leaning into her touch; "I know………" she whispered.

GRACE have you ever loved somebody so much?

They sat there for the longest time, until eventually Eli collected himself, and pulled out onto the freeway again. Grace looking out the window, Eli's mind racing- they'd said all they need to say. And while some of the words weren't true, they had still been said……….and they had still hurt……..oh how they hurt.

GRACE have you ever loved somebody so much? But lied about it………to let them go……..?

* * *

"Jess?" Eli called out, as he walked her stairs slowly.

"Up here!" Jessie replied, sitting up from where she laid on her bed.

Eli emerged at the top of the staircase, his eyes seemed hollowed out, and were as clear as glass.

Jessie was about to ask what was wrong, when Eli slowly crouched down, until he was sitting on the floor- he made a deep sigh, and felt tears escape down his cheeks again.

Jessie ran to his side, kneeling down beside him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "shush!" she said softly.

"It hurts so much!" he whispered.

Jessie didn't ask what he meant……..she knew……….and she wished she could take some of his pain away.

* * *

'I did it. I really did it. I let him go.' Grace wrote the words with a shaky hand into her diary, 'maybe now he can have a fresh start. That's what he wanted, isn't it? To make something of himself? Well now he can………knowing that he has no obligation to me. No obligation to keep loving me' she sighed and closed her diary, stuffing it back into her drawer.

She sat for a moment, and then reached back over, yanking her diary out and flipping to the entry she'd just written.

'I hope deep down he knows……..that I didn't mean it………' she added, and closed her diary again.

* * *

The day went by so slowly. It stretched out and seemed to go on forever. Or maybe it just seemed that way because of the thick anxiety and sadness that hung in the air.

Well, for whatever reason, the day creeped by and it seemed to take an entire decade before the sky was painted black.

Eli had been at his mother's the entire day, with Jessie. Karen wanted her two babies with her for as long as possible, before she had to let one of them go. But Rick insisted that Eli spend his last night in his house………Rick also insisted that he drive Eli to the airport at midnight.

Grace had stayed in her room for most of the day, preparing her own little farewell for Eli. And when she heard Rick's car pull into the driveway, she quickly added the final touches, and stuffed it into her drawer.

Lily emerged from the kitchen to greet the three of them; "just in time!" she beamed, "I just finished you're last meal…….." she said, her voice blubbering.

Rick sighed, "come here, Lil," he said, opening his arms.

Lily hugged Rick, but continued to cry, "I'm sorry, Eli!" she said, trying to bring herself together, "I'm just going to miss you so much!" she added, and wriggled out of Rick's arms and into Eli's- who awkwardly hugged her back.

"There, there………" he said, confused.

Lily pulled away, and dried her eyes; "get washed up for dinner before I break down again!" she ordered, and scurried into the kitchen, Rick following behind her.

Eli turned to Jessie and rolled his eyes-, which she laughed at; "emotions are running high tonight!" Jessie commented, and Eli smiled.

Ten minutes later the whole family was sitting around the dinner table- tucking into their last family meal.

"Are you excited?" Zoe asked Eli, who was sitting next to her.

"Definitely!" he replied, smiling.

"And a little scared?" Rick asked his son.

Eli looked up and shrugged, "I guess" he replied, vaguely.

"Oh! You're going to make a great manager, Eli!" Lily beamed.

"Yeah……..a great manager!" Grace added, smiling. Eli looked up, their eyes meeting for an intense second, "thankyou" he murmured, and looked down at his plate.

Jessie looked from Eli to Grace, and back again. Biting her lip.

JESSIE emotions are running high………

* * *

Sitting in the living room later that night, Lily was crying, Jessie had a tear in her eye and Grace was trying hard to suppress her own emotions.

"So this is it………Eli's leaving us tonight…….." Rick said, his voice unstable.

Jessie reached over and grabbed her brothers hand, squeezing it tight; "but not forever!" she added, and Eli laughed, shaking his head; "no! I'll be back……..for holidays and long weekends and birthdays………"

He turned to Grace, who quickly looked away.

Rick smiled, "but still………we are saying goodbye to a member of this family tonight!"

Lily burst into tears again; Eli rolled his eyes.

"Good luck son! I am proud of you! Like you wouldn't believe!" A tear slithered down Rick's cheek.

Eli got up from where he sat, and hugged his father- a brief, casual hug, and then released him.

"Now, you better get off to bed! You're getting up at 11:00 tonight!" Rick cautioned, swiping at tears.

Eli nodded, feeling his own throat tighten, "I just want you all to know that, I love you all." Eli began, a little embarrassed, "and I'm lucky to call you all my family"- and with that, Lily launched into a fit of fresh tears.

Grace let a single tear escape; she wiped it away quickly and stared up at Eli as he said his last goodbyes.

"We weren't the most functional of families at the beginning……..but we have come a long way………and we are all lucky to have each other!" he murmured, and before he had a chance to start blubbering, Jessie leapt up and bear hugged him; "I hate you for making me cry!" she laughed through tears.

Eli hugged her back. He was really saying goodbye. To his home. His family. Her……….Grace……..looking so beautiful tonight. But he wished she would cry; shed a single tear that showed she cared.

* * *

He sat at the edge of his bed, scanning his practically bare room.

He was leaving in two hours, but had been unable to sleep, when a tap came at his door.

He stayed still, making no attempt to get up and answer it- when the door slowly opened, and Grace appeared. It was dark, the only light coming from the moon outside. But he could still see her face. Her angelic, soft face.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

Eli murmured a yes, and she closed the door behind her.

He was shirtless, only in his boxers, but she didn't mind. She moved towards him, and stood infront of him, a wrapped, square, present in her hand.

"This………this is for you…….." she murmured, handing it to him.

He looked at it, and then up at her- taking it, he unwrapped the present slowly. It was a picture frame, and inside was the picture of him and Grace, slow dancing, at Jessie's party.

"Where……..who…….." Eli tried.

"Jessie showed it to me and I stole the negative from my mum" Grace murmured.

"What………" Eli stammered.

"Mum took it at Jessie's party, when she was a bit tipsy"

"Oh"

They said nothing for the longest time as Eli stared down at the picture. Grace looked so beautiful; her eyes were closed as she swayed in Eli's arms. They looked good together. A very handsome couple, some would say.

"It's my way of saying goodbye!" Grace mumbled, both she and Eli were surprised to hear a strain in her voice.

He looked up at her, but couldn't quite see her face. So he leaned over and flicked his light on. Her eyes were puffy and red, her hair stringy and falling down her shoulders. She'd been crying for a good while now.

Grace brought a hand to her face, trying to shield her red eyes.

Eli put down the picture, laying it on his night table. He looked up at Grace, his green eyes examining her sad face.

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. So, instead, he slowly leaned his head against Grace's stomach, and held his hands against her hips.

She looked down at him, as his head rested against her. And with shaky hands, she ran her fingers gently through his hair.

He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent. Lavender and vanilla.

Slowly, he pulled his head away, and looked up at her. "Can we be together?" he whispered, so quietly.

Grace bit her bottom lip and felt more tears escape.

"Just for tonight?" he pleaded.

Grace said nothing, only lowered down, and kissed his lips- softly and lightly. Pulling away she gave a small nod, and reached for his hands, pulling him to his feet.

They slowly crept up the stairs, and into Grace's room. She led him to her bed, where they both lay, facing one another, holding each other tightly.

"Love me?" she whispered, connecting with his lips again.

"Are you sure?" he asked as she pulled away.

Grace released him, and sat up. She pulled her tank top off over her head, revealing her breasts. She looked down at him and nodded.

He sat up aswell, and kissed her neck, then her chest- and then wrapped his arms around her, pulling him into her. They kissed, softly and cautiously, and then harder and deeper.

Grace lay back down, and looked up at Eli as he was ontop of her. "I love you!" he whispered, and then slipped inside of her.

It didn't hurt this time. It was a sensation. A beautiful ecstasy, and Grace had to bite her bottom lip to stop from screaming out.

Their bodies connected in the most beautiful way. And it was perfect.

When it was over, she rested her head against Eli's chest, and eventually closed her eyes and drifted into sleep.

He stroked her hair, "I'll always love you," he whispered.

And when 10:30 came around, he carefully slid out of her bed. And walked to her dresser, where he found a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled something down quickly, and then placed it against her bedside lamp, and crept out of her room.

* * *

At 11:00 Rick opened his sons door, to find Eli already up and dressed- suitcases already packed and lying on his bed. He had one small backpack to take onboard with him. In it, was Grace's present.

"Lets go" Rick said, his voice straining.

* * *

"Can passengers on flight 876 to Philadelphia please get ready to board!"

"That's me," Eli said, turning to his father.

Rick nodded and looked down at his feet.

"I guess this is it……..that pivotal moment where I have to let my son go!" Rick said, his voice quivering.

Eli nodded, feeling his own throat strain.

"Dad?" he said, and Rick looked up, with glassy eyes.

"I don't want any big goodbye that's going to make me get all emotional………" he started, and Rick laughed.

"All I really want to hear is that you're proud of me………" Eli ended, and felt himself choking up.

Rick gave a small smile; "always! No matter what!" Rick beamed, and took Eli in his arms. This was a strong hug, a long, warm hug that lasted just long enough for a tear to escape both Eli and Rick's eyes.

* * *

Grace rolled over, stretching her arms out to the side of the bed Eli had been lying on. When she felt only the sheets, she sat up, and looked around the room. Daylight had come through her windows.

She looked across at her bedside table, where a small letter was propped up against her lamp- it read 'Grace', in Eli's hand writing.

She gave a sad smile, and picked it up- unfolding it with a shaky hand, it read;

**_Dear Grace, _**

**_I'm sorry we didn't get to wake up in the morning together- in each other's arms._**

**_And I'm sorry that I'm leaving. I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for what I said, and didn't say. I guess I'm sorry for a lot of things. I'm also scared of a lot of things. _**

**_Like the thought of you waking up in the morning, and regretting what we did last night. I'm scared of you regretting the last 2 months. I'm scared that you didn't hear what I said last night………so I'll write it down for you………. I love you……….always have, and I can guarantee that I always will! You know what else I'm scared of? As I write this, your still sleeping, and I'm looking at you, you look so beautiful. And as I look at you, I'm thinking how scared I am to walk out of this room and never feel the rest of my life the way I feel when I'm with you!_**

**_But I have to, I have to walk out of this room, board a plane, and walk out of you're life……….forever………because that's what you want. _**

**_I love you Grace Manning.  
Always have, and always will_**

**_-Eli Sammler._**

She let out a cry, and hugged herself tight as tears ran down her cheeks. He was really gone………

GRACE and it hurts so much!

* * *

Eli looked out the window of the plane, they were in the air now- clouds and blue sky as far as the eye could see.

He wondered if Grace was awake yet. If she'd read his letter. He wondered if she loved him……..and he was sure that she did……….she didn't say it, but there was something in her touch last night……..something that whispered those words 'I love you'……….without her actually having to say them.

He bent down and picked his bag up from under his seat, opening it, he pulled out the picture she'd given him. He studied it, her soft face, her closed eyes………they looked so good together.

Eli felt the back of the frame was loose. He turned it over, and, sure enough, one of the hooks wasn't done up. He opened the back of the frame, and found that there was writing on the back of the picture.

_I still love you. Goodbye_

A small smile crossed his lips, and his eyes watered again.

He knew it.

ELI (smiling as he looks down at the frame in his hand) I knew it (whispers).

But still………the goodbye was there………they had their closure, atleast. No matter how much it hurt to say that word, 'goodbye', at least they'd said it, atleast that had parted on better terms.

**_There's nothing I can do_**

**_I can't help loving you_**

**_There's nothing I could say_**

**_If I can't make you stay_**

**_I can't let you see the sorrow in my heart_**

**_My baby_**

**_I'll have to let you go_**

**_Without your smile I know so well_**

**_I'm just an empty shell_**

**_Make sure to keep in touch_**

**_I value it so much_**

**_There's so much I would like to say to you_**

**_But I will just have to let you go_**

**_There's so much I would like to say to you_**

**_my baby_**

**_I'll have to let you go._**


	91. SEASON 2 Chapter 91

**SEASON 2**

**_5 years later_**

* * *

"Mr Sammler?" a young man in his twenties called out, as he scurried along the long office hallway, a few steps behind a sleek man in a navy blue suit.

"Mr Sammler?" he called again.

"Not now Peter!" Eli replied as he moved swiftly through the crowds of people, nodding with acknowledgement when somebody called a hello out to him.

"But there's a message!"

He stopped walking and turned around, he was unimpressed- "the idea of taking a message is to take a message for me when I cant reply………" he said, in a fed up tone.

Peter nodded, "I understand that sir……..but………." he started, but Eli cut him off.

"I cant take a message right now……..so you take it for me……..and when I go back to my office after this meeting……..you give it to me!" Eli said, "Got it?"

Peter nodded again, "I understand that sir! And I know you have a business meeting……..but it was you're sister………miss Jessie?" Peter was breathless, and struggled to say her name.

Eli rolled his eyes, "well seeming as your halfway through the message…….." he sighed, "you may aswell tell me the whole thing!"

Peter nodded, and flipped through his note pad; "she says you're a slack ass for not calling her back………" he said, scanning through the message which took up nearly half a page, "………and she has some urgent news for you………which she hates having to report through you're messenger………." Peter paused and looked up at his boss, "that's me!" he clarified, and Eli rolled his eyes; "oh……..and……… err……….she said the urgent news is that she and Katie are getting married………."

Eli's jaw dropped.

"Oh……..and she said to me that she bets your jaw will drop!" Peter said, and then gave a hoarse laugh.

"Show me that!" Eli said, snatching his note pad. He scanned the message……it was all there……..Jessie and Katie's wedding………she asked that he be there next week for the ceremony.

Eli handed Peter back his notepad, "send her my apologies for not replying personally………but tell her I'd love to be there for her special day………and tell her………."

"Congratulations?" Peter ended for him, and Eli nodded, "of course!" he said, and turned on his heel- heading into a large office filled with businessmen. He swung the doors open, and when he entered all heads turned in attention.

"Lets discuss our new building in New York, Gentlemen!" he announced, and walked to the front of the room.

* * *

Grace flipped through the pages of her poetry book. She took her yellow high lighter out and underlined a passage. She was lying on her bed, in her dorm room- the door was open, and students were bustling by, being typical college students- loud and boisterous.

She could hardly hear her phone when it rang. She quickly jumped up and surveyed the messy dorm room- bras and clothes strewn all over the floor and furniture, books and loose leaf papers covering the desks- she heard the ringing get louder as she walked to her bed, the messy covers in a tangle- she shifted them and found the phone, pressing the speak button she held it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"I have some big news!"

"What's that Jess?" Grace asked, she listened intently as Jessie spoke.

"Well……….I am getting married!"

"Yeah! Right! Pull the other one, Jess!" Grace laughed, putting a hand on her hip.

There was a dead silence on the other end. Grace headed for the door, closing it carefully, she bit her bottom lip; "your serious?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes!" Jessie squealed, and Grace soon joined her.

Once their noise had died down, Grace asked for the details; "everyone going to be there!" Jessie exclaimed, "a family reunion and wedding in one!" she beamed.

Grace became quiet then, and almost telepathically, Jessie knew what thought had crossed her mind; "he's going to be there aswell!"

Grace cleared her throat, "who?" she asked, as though she didn't understand.

"Eli!"

"Oh! Of course he'd be there………he is you're brother after all!"

There was a short pause, "you two haven't seen or spoken in 4 years, Grace"

"5"

"What?"

"We haven't spoken……..or seen each other in 5 years………" she corrected.

Jessie sighed, "Your still going to come home for the wedding, aren't you?" she asked, in a sullen voice.

Grace didn't say anything for quite some time, she rubbed her brow and sighed; "of course! It's you're big day………you and Katie have spoken about this for years and now all you're dreams are going to finally come true! I'm happy for you and offended that you'd think I wouldn't come!"

Jessie laughed, "Good! Because I am dying to see you again! Last summer holidays seemed an age ago!"

Grace nodded and smiled as she remembered the long, humid days sitting on the banana lounge in their back garden- next to Katie and Jessie, all three in their bikini's.

"Will you're beau be coming along aswell?" Jessie asked mischievously.

Grace bit her bottom lip again, Jeremy- the guy she'd brought down for summer vacation last year- they had ended badly………3 months ago;

"Oh……..err…….. I really don't think he……….err………..can make it………" she mumbled.

"Grace!" Jessie growled, "He was a good one! Funny, smart, good looking, charming…….. I may be a lesbian……….but I can still pick the good ones!"

"I know! I know!"

"Well you can bring along whoever the new man is in you're life!"

Grace cleared her throat, and ran a hand through her hair; "Is…….…" she cleared her throat again, "Is Eli bringing anyone?" she asked, quietly.

There was silence on the other end, and Grace cursed herself for being so blunt and straightforward!

"As far as I know………" Jessie began, "No he is not………"

"Oh………not even………."

"Isabelle?" Jessie supplied.

Grace's face turned red; "was that her name?" she asked feigning stupidity.

Jessie sighed; "Yes it was! And no he's not………."

"I thought……….I mean you're mother said………."

"Talk of an engagement? No, that was just my mother being hopeful for grandchildren……….Isabelle and Eli broke it off a few months ago now……….according to dad"

Grace walked to her bed again, and sat on the edge; "Oh………well if he's not bringing anyone………I don't want to rub it in or anything………I might go stag……….." Grace mumbled.

Jessie laughed, "fine! Fine! Just so long as you get you're butt down here in three weeks time!"

Grace laughed aswell, "Ok! Congratulations, Jess! Speak to you soon"

"Bye Gracie!"

She rolled her eyes and hung the phone up, pressing it against her chest- she fell back onto her bed

"Eli Sammler" she whispered under her breath, closing her eyes as she tried to picture him in her mind. She remembered his eyes so well; those deep, brooding eyes. And cheeky smile, that smile could melt her heart and make her weak in the knees.

But the image she had was of a 19 something, punk rocker. She was sure that after 5 years and a totally different lifestyle he wouldn't look the same as she remembered.

She opened her eyes again, and stood up- she walked to her dresser at the side of the room- and opened one of the drawers. She shifted aside her bras and underwear, and pulled out a faded photograph. It was of her and Eli, a close up of their smiling faces.

She studied the picture carefully; he did have beautiful eyes, a deep green with a speck of brown.

"Actually………...I don't have a really good picture of the girl I truly love…………..."

She smiled as she recalled his words, and how she had snuggled up close to him, leaning her head on his chest and smiled into the camera as he held it out.

"Now I do!" he'd said, lowering the camera.

Grace let out a small laugh, when there came a knock at the door. She stuffed the photo away again, closing the drawer, and headed for the door- opening it, to find Carol- her best friend, standing on the other side.

"Guess who's having a screaming match on the front lawn………again………….?" Carol smiled, stepping into Grace's room.

She closed the door behind her, and tilted her head to the side slightly; "Hmmm………let me guess……….." Grace murmured.

"Linda and Robert!……." Carol supplied, collapsing onto Grace's bed.

"Again!" Grace exclaimed with a laugh, "that's the fourth time they have broken up this week!"

Carol laughed, "I know! I know!" she sat up and looked at Grace with a smile, "but Linda is certain he's cheating on her this time because she found a white sock in the backseat of his car………which Rob claims to belong to one of his soccer buddies that he was giving a lift to after practice!"

"Linda has got to find something more substantial evidence to base her melodramatic outbursts on!" Grace sighed.

Carol had been Grace's saviour when she first came to the University of North Carolina in Wilmington. She was a year older than Grace, and was appointed her 'buddy'. The two girls hit it off instantly, and had been attached at the hip ever since. They were taking mostly the same courses, and Grace was totally dependent on her to get her through the first year of Uni.

Carol was a real sweetheart- she was African American, and her green emerald eyes reminded Grace of Eli- which only made her homesickness even worse when she first arrived.

But Carol was so laid back and funny- she was the only one that could make Grace crack even the tiniest smile when she was stressing out over her latest exam or essay that was due in tomorrow.

Carol was beautiful- she had all the guys on campus drooling over her- with her curvy waist and abnormally large boobs (Carol calls them her two little miracles!) and killer smile. Alas, she was attached to someone back home in Ohio- his name was Samuel- and they'd been going out for 3 years now.

Grace walked over to her bed, and sat beside Carol- who instantly sensed something was wrong- "wanna grab some pop corn and park ourselves on the front lawn to watch the lovers quarrel?" she asked, giggling.

Grace shook her head solemnly; "why not?" Carol asked, turning to face her, "what's wrong sugar pie?" she asked, wrapping an arm around Grace's shoulders.

"Everything!" Grace moaned, leaning into her friend.

Carol laughed, "your gonna have to break it down a bit Gracie!"

"Jessie and Katie are getting married," she mumbled.

"Well that's great! Your always saying how those two have been trying to get hitched! But what with their busy schedules………."

"I have to go down there in 3 weeks to be at the ceremony" Grace cut her off.

Carol unhooked her arm from Grace's shoulders, and studied her sunken face carefully; "and……….?" She urged.

"And………." Grace sighed, "and………Eli is going to be there………."

Carol brought a hand to her mouth and gasped

"The one that you think of every time 'I wanna be with you' comes on the radio?" she asked, and Grace nodded solemnly

"The perfect high school boyfriend who every other boy gets compared to, and who no ones lived up to yet?" she asked, and Grace gave the same, sullen nod.

"The one who is also you're stepbrother and who flew out of you're life 5 yeas ago to take a job in Philadelphia………who you have had no contact with in 5 long years!" Carol asked, beginning to hyperventilate. Grace rolled her eyes and nodded.

"The one who………." Carol started again, but Grace clasped her hand around her mouth, "yes! That one! The one guy I ever truly loved……….the one guy who broke my heart into a thousand pieces………the one guy that I still dream about………..yes! That would be Eli Sammler!" she clarified, and lowered her hand.

"5 years is a long time!" Carol whispered.

"I know!"

"A really………really long time………."

"Yes it is"

"Do you think he has changed much?" Carol asked, turning to her.

"I'm sure he has"

"Is he………" Carol started, and Grace turned to her.

"He was with someone called Isabelle for a year………..but he broke it off 6 months ago………."

Carol nodded, "they were engaged to be married……….remember?" Grace added, and Carol nodded again; "you wouldn't come out of you're dorm room for a week……….you sent me out everyday to buy you a tub of ice-cream from Baskin robins!"

GRACE I was very emotional………..(bites her bottom lip)

"Wow! Grace………" Carol murmured, "I mean……..wow!"

Grace nodded, "we have been avoiding each other for 5 years!"

It was actually quite easy for Eli and Grace to avoid each other. What with her going off to Wilmington a year after he left- since then, whenever they both came down for the holidays, they would conveniently orchestrate it so that they spent time at their other parents house when the other was at Rick and Lily's.

They knew little about each other's lives only through what their parents told them about one another.

Lily had told Grace that Eli had met a very nice girl who worked in the office, her name was Isabelle, and she and Eli had been on one or two dates- but it was nothing too serious. 4 months later, Grace was surprised to hear Jessie say that Eli and Isabelle were still going strong. And then the big punch in the guts came when Grace went down to her mother and Rick's for Christmas- Eli had already left 2 days before Grace arrived, because he'd promised Isabelle he'd have dinner with her folks in New York- Lily told Grace that there was some talk about Eli proposing to Isabelle. Grace felt like she could curl up and die right there………right in the middle of their turkey dinner.

When she got back to Wilmington, Jessie called- and said there were plans in the works for a September wedding next year. That was the week Grace spent in her room, dining on Baskin Robins ice cream and watching as many Adam Sandler movies as possible- to try and cheer herself up!

But then, the wedding talk ended…….…and next thing she heard………Isabelle had moved out of her and Eli's swish apartment, and was living with her parents back in New York.

"Geez Grace………" Carol murmured, reaching over and clasping her friend's hand, "are you ok?" she asked, softly.

Grace gave a small nod, "I………I guess I am…….." she mumbled.

Carol squeezed her hand, "well……….you have three weeks……..that's plenty of time to psyche yourself up………."

Grace nodded.

"And………I'm here for you aswell……….."

Grace turned to her and smiled, "thank god for you!"

* * *

Jessie bounced into the living room, an inevitable smile plastered across her lips.

"Good news!" she announced as she set the phone down, and spun around to face Katie who was sprawled out on the couch, legs dangling over the sides, magazine in hand.

She looked up and smiled, adjusting herself to sit up, she patted the space next to her- Jessie sat down infront of her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them tight.

"This is really happening…………." She beamed.

Katie smiled right back, "this all feels so surreal!" she squealed.

"I know! I know!" Jessie agreed, squeezing Katie's hands again, "this is going to be so wonderful!"

"We are actually, finally, definitely going to get married, Jess!"

JESSIE while I really don't need a piece of paper to declare my love for Katie……….its still nice………..and just another step in our relationship! Like another piece of our puzzle.

Katie leaned forward, and brushed her soft lips against Jessie's; "I love you," she whispered, before pressing into a kiss.

When they pulled away, Jessie reached up and brushed the back of her hand against Katie's cheek, "I love you too" she smiled.

Katie looked down at the magazine still in her hands- "Oh" she said, "look at this" she handed Jessie the magazine, which she took and studied carefully.

A medium sized add, amidst pictures of floral tops under $20 and denim jeans that give you a J-Lo rear, was an add for twilight boutique- with 3 small pictures of floral tops sold there, and a pair of jeans.

"This is amazing!" Jessie smiled, looking up at Katie. She looked down again; turning the magazine over to see the cover- it was 'teen girl'.

"Its no Cosmo!" Katie sighed; acting as though the exposure was nothing.

"No" Jessie agreed, "Its better!"

Katie broke into a small smile and straightened, leaning over to examine the ad again, "well……….I guess my designs are breaking into the teen-market……….."

Jessie turned to her, "of course they are!" she reassured.

"And I got that call on Wednesday from 'Cosmo girl' saying they're considering advertising my shop in the November issue!" Katie added.

"That's one step away from Cosmo!" Jessie smiled.

Katie leaned her head against Jessie's shoulder, continuing to look down at the ad, "I guess everything is finally happening!"

"Looks like it" Jessie replied, handing the magazine back to Katie.

The girls had come along way since they were teenagers. They were 21 now, and living in their own apartment, atleast a 20-minute drive from Rick and Lily's house.

Katie had done a design course at the local University for one and a half years, but found that all the work interrupted with her creative genius- so she dropped out and started working for a local designer, who gave her good work, good pay………and a hell of a lot of experience! So much so, that after working under her for a year, Katie opened her own boutique, hired a few of her University design friends who had also dropped out over the summer- and got her career up and running.

She called the boutique 'twilight', and her label was 'twilight temptress'. Her motto was 'don't dress to hide who you are……….dress to show who you are'- the motto was painted on her shop window. She got the idea from Jessie, who reminded her of the time Katie had said those very words to her "You ever notice that no one our age dresses to show who they are? They dress to hide who they are."

The first year was hard- just trying to figure out a way of being recognised. But eventually, through word of mouth, customers started coming in- more and more each month. And pretty soon Katie's twilight boutique was one of the coolest independent labels. It was only a few months ago that she sent out pictures of her items to big magazines, and her label was being printed in them.

Jessie always knew Katie had a creative flare……..everyone always knew- Katie being a designer just fit………it was her, through and through. Jessie on the other hand………no body would have guessed the path she chose for herself.

After completing her last 2 gruelling years at High School, Jessie was accepted into University's all over the country, but she chose to go to the local one, with Katie- neither of the girls bearing to be apart.

Everything was fine for a while, Jessie did a business course………which is where she thought her career lay……….but after a year, she soon saw that……..like so many things in her life………she was studying to be something her mother wanted her to be, not what she wanted to be. So, a huge shock to everyone, especially Karen, Jessie dropped out, and for a few months she didn't know what she wanted to be.

"Don't lose yourself in a job that doesn't make you happy" was Katie's only advise………which really helped Jessie……….she went down to the local youth centre and talked to one of the counsellor's, Jessie told her her whole life story of Anorexia and coming out. The counsellor, Miss Mayan, said Jessie should complete a 6 week course and come join her at the youth centre- what with Jessie's experience, she would be an asset to the centre.

Jessie did just that- and, for the last year she's been a counsellor at the centre. Its not the best pay. And its not the ideal job Karen had in mind for her little girl. But Jessie hasn't been happier, helping those who have similar problems to what she did at their age. She says it's very therapeutic.

"I was just talking to Gracie…….." Jessie said, turning to Katie.

She looked up from the magazine, "and what did she say to the good news?"

"She is ecstatic, of course!" Jessie smiled.

Katie smiled aswell, then looked back down, concentrating for a moment longer before looking up again, a dark expression of realisation on her face; "did you tell her about………..?"

Jessie nodded, not needing to hear the rest of Katie's question.

"And she's still coming………?" Katie asked, and Jessie nodded.

"And………have you talked to Eli yet?"

"I got his message boy"

Katie bit her lip, "so he doesn't know about Grace……….."

Jessie shook her head, "well I presume he'd know she's coming!"

Katie gave a small nod, "let's hope so……….I'd hate to see an awkward reunion between those two………."

Jessie nodded, "I think whether they know about the other coming or not………it's going to be awkward……….." she sighed, "very awkward!"

Katie nodded, "Lets not let it spoil the big day though………ok?"

Jessie turned to her and gave a reassuring half smile, "of course they wont!"

Katie leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "and don't you stress over it, ok?"

Jessie gave a small nod, "I wont" she replied, unconvincingly.

Katie put the magazine down, and turned her body to face Jessie, "I mean it Jess! Don't put any pressure on those two!"

"Pressure!" Jessie asked, feigning stupidity.

Katie rolled her eyes, "You know exactly what I mean! Every Christmas and thanksgiving you try to bring them both down to Lily's to spend the day together………..you're always telling one to call the other………..and always making sure they both send each other birthday cards……….don't put pressure on them to get back together!"

"But! This could be the perfect opportunity!……….." Jessie started.

"Some things just aren't meant to be, Jess……….don't push them……….just be grateful to have them in the same house together, ok?" Katie said, sternly, searching Jessie's eyes.

Jessie gave a small nod, "ok" she mumbled, "I have to go make a quick phone call" she added, getting up from the couch.

* * *

Eli picked up the newspaper that was on his kitchen bench, scanning the headlines, when his phone rang.

He sighed and stared down at his black, cordless phone as the menacing ring pierced his quiet apartment.

"Go away" he mumbled, picking up his hot coffee mug and bringing it to his lips.

His phone beeped as the answering machine came on; "This is Eli Sammler, I am not in right now, please leave you're name and phone number and I will try to get back to you" Beep.

Eli suspended the mug against his lips as he waited for a voice; "Eli? This is Jessie!"

He looked down at the phone, setting down his newspaper, he considered picking up the phone- but waited instead, coffee mug in hand.

"Your obviously not in right now………which is strange because it's 6:30 and you should be home by now…………." There was a short pause as Jessie sighed, "well anyway………. I suppose you got the message today……..about my wedding………."

Eli gave a small nod, and waited for his sister to go on.

"Well it came to me just a moment ago that I may have left out a crucial detail in my message………"

Eli raised an eyebrow and set his mug down, staring down at the phone, hard.

"That crucial detail being about a crucial person in both our lives……..and I say crucial person in my life to emphasise the fact that I know you probably wont like the idea of her coming down and you being in the same room as her…………..but she is very close to me and I want her there and………." She paused for a moment, collecting herself, "what I am saying is that I really want Grace to be there………and she has agreed to………knowing that you'll be there aswell……….hopefully………"

Eli had stopped listening to Jessie's voice- he was concentrating on his breathing now, as he stared into space, Grace's name repeating itself in the back of his mind.

Jessie cleared her throat, "yes so………Grace Manning will be there………definitely……….without a doubt……….just wanted you to know………..love you! Call me sometime!" Beep, she'd hung up.

Eli blinked, and turned away from the phone. He grabbed onto the bench to steady himself……….it felt like his kitchen was spinning………or was it his head?

He finally took a long breath and blinked again. Grace Manning. The Grace Manning………..the one that broke his heart after he broke hers………the one he had blocked from his memory for the last five years in order to get on with his life. The love he'd left behind. His stepsister.

Eli moved himself; he walked into the lounge room- the biggest room in his swish apartment. With a long seven seater black couch, open fireplace, stylish rug and oak coffee table and bookcase.

He walked to the bookcase, and rummaged through the rows of c.d's. He finally found it, in between 'the clash' and 'guns and roses', was the picture. He'd taken it out of its frame; it was folded, creased and faded. He opened it, and studied her angelic face and curvy body in his arms as they swayed in a perfect dance at Jessie's birthday.

He had kept the picture by his bed for months after first arriving in Philadelphia. Looking at her reminded him of home, of a comfort deep inside himself.

But the first few months at work were difficult. He was shy and unsure of what he was doing there. Nobody at the company was taking him seriously and all Eli thought about was quitting and returning home.

But then he realised his problem, he was still stuck at home………in his mind……….he kept replaying all the moments he'd spent with Grace, in his mind………….all he ever thought about was calling or writing her (not that he ever did)………so he took the big step and tucked the picture away, and tried putting away memories of her aswell.

It took a while, longer than he expected, but eventually Grace was the last thing on his mind. And his first 2 years in his new job were successful, smooth………..exactly what he needed.

Pretty soon he'd forgotten of a time when he'd been in love. Little things about her faded away, just like the picture. He couldn't remember whether she wore lavender or vanilla perfume…………..he forgot about the way her hair fell across her brow when she slept………or how she had closed her eyes when they made love……….forgetting all the little things made it harder for him to remember the big moments………like what they had said to one another the first time they had sex, or his pleading for her when she had been with Ayden and he had wanted her so badly.

He knew so little about her as life went on. All he knew was that she attended University in Wilmington, stayed in a dorm room there, according to Jessie had a different boyfriend every 2 weeks and……...most recently……….had been offered a job at a big publishing house, which she accepted and intended to start working at early next year when she finished Uni.

Now she was lunging back into his life. And he didn't know how that made him feel.

ELI well its not as though I have to spend months with her………it's a week……….tops! Just during Jessie's wedding………then she can step right back out of my life again………simple!

Eli sat down on his couch, studying the picture in his hands.

As he studied her face, a few memories came back to him. He wasn't sure………but he was almost certain that there had been one time when he walked in on her getting changed………..?

He ran a hand through his hair and put the picture down on the coffee table infront of him, beside the framed one of him and Isabelle in New York. Her wild, red curls were in a high ponytail, her red lips curved into a huge smile. And her brilliant blue eyes sparkled.

In the photo, Eli wore a black trench coat, and a half smile, his arm around Isabelle's waist- with the central park background behind them. A passer by had taken the photo for them. Isabelle had joked about the jogger running off with their camera, and how surprising it would be to be mugged in New York.

She had moved out 6 months ago, but Eli hadn't the heart to tuck the photo away or send it off to Isabelle like he did with the rest of her things he'd found lying around the place a few weeks after she had left.

He sighed and looked from one photo to the other.

He wondered what Grace was like now. He remembered a shy sixteen-year-old girl that had melted his heart with her brilliance and kindness.

But stories of Grace going through boyfriend after boyfriend had shocked Eli. He wondered if she had 'commitment problems' because of him……….a phrase he'd learnt from Isabelle, after she repeated it again and again.

Grace………the Grace he knew and fell in love with……...was careful in life, especially with matters of the heart. It seemed now, though, grown up Grace took chances and broke hearts.

He wondered if she still looked the same………he only had an image of a sixteen-year-old beauty……….would her hair have grown much? Would she be taller? Thinner? Fatter? Would he be able to see wisdom in her eyes and face?

Would her skin still be as soft as he vaguely remembered?

Eli sat back and ran a hand through his hair again.

ELI a part of me wants to find out……….

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE-**

ok, second season started with an extra long chapter! Did you like it? I want to explain the characters a bit more in up-coming chapters, ok? But seriously………..love it or hate it………tell me! Review! Please!

Its good to be back! Wait a little while for an update.


	92. Chapter 92

**_2 weeks after Jessie's phone call_**

_(1 week until the wedding)_

* * *

"What about this one?" Carol asked, holding up the newspaper for Grace to see.

She scrunched her nose up, "you do realize that 'renovators dream' means it's a total dump that needs a complete makeover?" she asked, and spun back around to her closet.

Carol sighed, "Maybe that'd be fun……….doing a total makeover on an apartment…..……make it scream 'Grace Manning'………"

Grace turned back to Carol, who was lying on her stomach on Grace's bed, circling different apartment ads in the newspaper with a red marker.

The girls would be finishing Uni in 6 weeks, Grace had a job secured in the city of Charlotte. She would be starting work in a big publishing house at the beginning of next year; she hoped to be transferred to the publishing house's office in New York by next year, if she really put in.

But Carol would be moving back to Ohio, because her boyfriend (Samuel's) father had a job waiting for her at the Ohio Times- not being a full-pledged journalist or anything- she'd be starting from the bottom and hopefully working her way up.

The girls would be separating- after depending on one another for four years, they would be parting ways and venturing out into the big wide world.

"I don't think so Carol!" Grace said hoarsely "remember it's me that'd be blowing my money on a crummy apartment of you're choice!" she added, without turning to her friend.

Carol rolled her eyes and put the newspaper down, she studied Grace- hands on hips, scanning the rows of clothes hanging in her closet.

"I have absolutely nothing to wear to this stupid wedding!" Grace finally declared, spinning around to face Carol.

Carol sighed, "could you be more transparent?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" Grace narrowed her eyes.

Carol chucked the newspaper with red circles all over it, to the other side of the bed, and sat up, patting the space beside her; "it's obvious that the dilemma of having nothing to wear isn't the only thing on you're mind!" she said, matter of factly, in a calming voice that patronised Grace's bad temper.

Grace raised an eyebrow, "oh really?"

"Really!" Carol challenged.

"Then please………enlighten me!" Grace spat, crossing her arms over her chest.

Carol opened her mouth, but before she could air her thoughts, Grace cut in like a knife "and if the name 'Eli' comes out of that mouth I'm going to smack you two weeks from Sunday!"

Carol shut her mouth again and narrowed her eyes, her look said everything.

"Don't give me that!" Grace sighed, unfolding her arms.

Carol remained silent, her eyes piercing Grace's temper.

"Don't bring this back to the subject of Eli, again!"

"I only bring it up because you refuse to………and bottling up you're feelings is never good for you!" Carol finally spoke.

Grace closed her eyes, squeezed her hands into fists and groaned; "why is everything suddenly about Eli Sammler?" she opened her eyes again and looked at Carol with a small frown, "he hasn't even physically stepped back into my life yet and already he has turned my world upside down by the mere mention of his name!"

Carol gave a small laugh; "true love's do that to you!"

Grace shook her head slightly, "no……….true love he is not…………." She said, and took a seat beside Carol, resting her head on her shoulder and reaching over, clasping her hand.

"We had our chance………he threw it away………….it's just a major pain that we have to be related and I cant completely toss him out of my life forever!"

"You did for 5 years!"

"Hmmm………..it's a shame I couldn't keep up my disappearing act for the rest of my life……….."

Carol nudged her with an elbow, "hey!"

Grace sat up and turned to her friend; "maybe this is like a second chance………..like fate?" Carol said, enthused.

Grace gave a half smile, "this isn't fate………this is a nightmare!" she sighed.

Carol reached over, tucking a piece of hair behind Grace's ear, "Oh I don't know Miss Manning……….maybe love is giving you a second chance………….?"

Grace rolled her eyes and gave a snorted laugh, "you got that line off a cheesy Sandra Bullock chick flick!"

Carol shrugged her shoulders, "so?"

"So!" Grace repeated, "So………….this isn't me rekindling a teenage romance! This is me having to face an ex boyfriend who broke my heart! Nothing romantic about it!"

There was a long, drawn out silence as Carol studied Grace's frowning face; "Was it really that bad?" Carol asked coyly after a while.

Grace looked away for a moment, down at her hands as she slowly traced the etched lines on the inside of her palm; "No………it wasn't all so bad………we had some really amazing moments………..although I doubt he'd remember them…………..they were really………..nice"

She looked back up at Carol, feeling herself tear up slightly, she rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh; "I mean, god! I was in love with him once!………..there was a time when he made everything perfect! Of course it wasn't all bad! The beginning was a little rough………the middle was the best part……….but………..our ending wasn't the way I pictured it would be!"

Carol gave a small nod, "ok………so maybe this wedding next week isn't all about fate and romance……….." she grabbed Grace's hand and squeezed it, "but maybe you two can write yourselves a better ending this time?"

GRACE there are some times when a friend really knocks you off you're feet……….those times when they say something and really mean it, and you thank god that they are there for you………….this is one of those times.

Grace felt a small tear escape down her cheek, she swiped it away quickly and let out a broken laugh; "I bet that was a line from a Sandra film aswell!" she laughed.

Carol half smiled, "yeah well………her one-liners seem to do the trick!" she replied, and held Grace in a close hug.

When the girls pulled apart, Carol wore a broad smile; "lets go shopping, hmmm?"

* * *

Eli scanned the bursting restaurant. There was a loud murmur of simultaneous conversations, glasses clinking together and the shuffling sound of feet as waiters scurried from table to table.

"Mr Sammler!" a stout balding man in his 40's said when Eli entered the swish restaurant.

He smiled, one of his charming, broad smiles that made his whole face seem so inviting; "is she here yet?" Eli asked, as he peeled off his black trench coat and handed it to the man.

The man nodded, "got here early Mr Sammler…….…..has been waiting for fifteen minutes!" he replied, stopping one of the bus boys and handing him Eli's coat, mumbling orders to hang it in the cloak room.

Eli straightened his white collar. He was wearing a stylish dark grey suit- and black tie- looking very handsome and sophisticated. He winced when he heard how long his date had been waiting, "not good?" he asked.

The stout man shook his head, "not this evening I'm afraid Mr Sammler………she's already gone through two glasses of wine!"

Eli gave a small nod as he looked past the man and scanned the restaurant again, spotting a dark haired beauty in a red skirt-suit, her long wavy hair hanging loosely around her shoulders, she lifted her wine glass to her lips and took a long sip.

Eli focussed back on the man, "change her drink to water, ok Tony?" he said, and the man nodded.

"Good luck Mr Sammler!" he murmured as Eli strode towards his table.

He stood beside her for a moment, "I have been waiting for………." She started, without looking up at him.

"15 minutes……….I know! I know! And I am truly apologetic!" Eli cut in, not allowing her to finish.

She looked up; red lipstick smudged across her lips, eyes dark and brooding, her olive skin set aglow by the dull light coming from the candle that sat in the middle of the table.

She closed her eyes slightly and turned a cheek to him; Eli bent down and kissed her cheek that she offered him, and then he stood and walked to his side of the table, pulling out his seat and sitting down.

"What are you drinking?" he asked, immediately waving his hand in the air to get a waiters attention.

"Red" she replied bitterly.

"I'll have a whisky," Eli said to a young waiter, who quickly hurried off to mix his drink.

"So," the woman said huskily, leaning forward slightly, "what's this I hear about you taking next week off? You heading down to the New York office to talk business?" she asked, pursing her luscious, red lips together as she awaited Eli's answer.

He sat back in his seat, comfortably, superior as he scanned the busy restaurant scene before answering her; "because you know……….if you are heading to the big apple, I should really be going with you!" she added quickly, leaning back in her own chair, trying to mimic his relaxed confidence.

He turned to her slowly, and cracked a half smile. A smile, which made the woman in red blush.

"And why's that?" he asked smoothly, his voice deep and pulsating.

She tossed her hair to one side, "Because Eli, I am you're competition for the New York job! Not very fair if you get a head start up there!" she replied, and quickly reached for her wine glass, finishing off the last mouthful of red liquid.

Eli gave a small, gruff laugh; "You're keen………I'll give you that!" he said, and thanked the waiter with a nod when he delivered his drink.

"Keen?" she repeated, lowering her glass, and nodding to the waiter to bring her another; "more like desperate………" she huffed.

Eli brought his drink to his lips, took a small sip and lowered it; "now, now Monica! Don't go putting a guilt trip on me!"

"Guilt trip?" she said, through gritted teeth, "I have worked my ass off in this pissy Philadelphia office since it first opened! Just like you! Only difference is……….while you've been climbing up and up the corporate ladder, I have been stuck at the bottom of the heap, waiting for my turn in the spotlight!" she said, bitterly.

Eli sighed, and ran a hand through his gelled hair, "judging by you're paycheck, I wouldn't say you're at the bottom of the heap" he murmured.

She scoffed at his remark, "with my qualifications……….." she said, narrowing her eyes, "I should be giving you orders!"

There was a drawn out silence at their table for the longest time. Glasses clinked around them, people laughed and joked with friends at other tables- but Eli and Monica remained silent, exchanging icy glares.

"You are going to New York! Aren't you? To bad mouth me to the bosses up there!" she finally spat.

Eli sipped some more of his whisky, his ice clanking together as he lowered it; "you're paranoid and power hungry………two lethal combinations!………." He said, looking her in the eye, "no! I am not going up to the New York office to 'bad mouth' you……….I'm a little above that, thankyou very much!"

She scoffed at his response, but he wouldn't let her cut in.

"I am actually heading down to my home town for my little sister's wedding……….if you must know……….." he ended.

She scowled at him, "Mr big shot, Eli Sammler going back to his little home town for a good ol' wedding, hey?" she said and leaned forward, "for a whole week?" she asked, and Eli nodded slowly, "I could weasel my way into you're position by then………." She said, smirking.

Eli frowned, and just as he opened his mouth to say something, the waiter came over with a glass of water, placing it infront of Monica who looked down at it with distaste.

"Drink up" Eli said, the frown wiped from his brow.

She looked up, "I'm perfectly capable of watching my alcohol consumption, thankyou, Mr Sammler!" she said, coldly, pushing the water away from her.

Eli gave a hoarse, mocking laugh; "you didn't watch it too well at last years Christmas Party!" he said, calmly.

A dark shadow crossed her face for a moment, and then a sly smirk; "If I remember correctly, Eli………neither did you………." She sat back, and continued to smirk, "or was that someone else on you're office desk with me?"

Eli straightened in his seat, "if you're done giving me the third degree on my whereabouts next week……….I will excuse myself and wish you a pleasant evening," he said, standing.

"Oh come on, Eli………order another drink with me………..we might just have a repeat of that night in you're office?" she smiled.

Eli ignored her, walking briskly towards the front door, Tony already had his coat ready, and handed it to him.

"How did it go Mr Sammler?" Tony asked.

"Just as expected!" Eli said, handing him a twenty-dollar bill, "keep the change," he said, over his shoulder as he hurried out the front door.

* * *

"Dad?" Jessie called out, "Lily?" she tried, without a response.

"Anybody?"

When there was still no answer, she ventured out to the living room, where she found Zoe sprawled out on the couch, phone stuck to her ear.

"Zo!" Jessie said.

Zoe didn't flinch.

"Zoe! Didn't you hear me calling out?" Jessie asked again.

Zoe pulled the phone away from her ear for a millisecond, a scowl on her face, "can't you see I am talking on the phone?" she whispered gruffly, and pulled it back to her ear.

Jessie rolled her eyes and headed back into the kitchen.

Zoe was in year ten now- and as if she wasn't bad enough when she was seven! Zoe as a teenager was a million times worse! She had lopped off her long brown locks when she was 14, and now had a choppy, punky short hair do that she liked to spike on special occasions. She had grown tall and lanky………her attitude had grown aswell!

Punk/rock music could be heard from the other side of her door 24/7, the only quiet in the house came when she chatted on the phone at all hours of the night for hours on end. She was a handful, but Lily was sure she was just going through a phase at the moment, and it was nothing serous………or……….god forbid, permanent!

Jessie picked up the cordless phone and pushed in Lily's mobile phone number, she held it to her ear and listened to the ringing.

"Hello?"

"Lily? It's Jessie here………..when will you be home tonight?"

"Oh! Jessie! Are you at my place?"

"Yes………I stopped by to show you a picture of the cake Katie and I chose yesterday"

"Was it the one with the little blue swirls at the bottom?"

Jessie let out a small laugh, "Yes it was the one that you suggested we pick!"

"Well good! I did like that!" Lily said, enthusiastically; "well look, I have to work late tonight, and won't be home for an hour or so- it's best that you come back in the morning, ok sweety?"

"Ok, Lil- bye"

Jessie hung the phone up and sighed, running a hand through her long gold locks. She couldn't wait until Grace got down here to help out with last minute things. Katie hadn't been much help, what with the sudden burst of media attention her label had been receiving. Lily could only help out with small things, because Karen absolutely insisted upon doing the bulk of the arrangements (seeming as Lily did everything for Jessie's sweet sixteen!) but Karen was far too fussy for Jessie's liking, and spending a day working on the wedding with Karen would turn into an absolute obsessive, perfectionist nightmare by lunchtime! She really could not wait to have Grace's helping hand………..hmm……….speaking of Grace……….

Jessie walked back out into the lounge room, "Zoe" she called.

"Still on the phone!" came the bitter reply.

Jessie looked down at her stepsister, "I just want to ask you one little question!" Jessie growled, putting her hands firmly on her hips- letting Zoe know she wasn't going anywhere until she detached the phone from her ear.

"Fine!" Zoe sighed; "I'll call you back in 5!" she spoke into the phone, and hung up.

"Did Grace and Eli call the house at all today?"

"Jessie, why do you think there is a notepad by the phone?" Zoe spat, "go check it……….Grace and Eli both left messages!" and with that she quickly dialled a number and held the phone to her ear again.

"Sorry little miss 'I have a serious attitude problem'………" Jessie mumbled as she walked back to the kitchen, picking up the notepad.

'Grace says 'hey all'- flight leaves at 7:00 pm, arrive here at approx 9:30 pm'

'Eli says hello- flight leaves at 10:30 pm, be here at approx midnight- try hard not to wake whole house up'

JESSIE there is just such anticipation in the air! Or is that love?


	93. Chapter 93

It was strange how every time Grace pulled up outside her childhood home, it never changed, always stayed the same down to the tiniest detail.

It was comforting……….in an eerie sort of way. The fact that Grace herself had transformed into a completely different human being, yet her past still existed and dwelled within that house……….it was as though, whenever she wanted to escape her unpredictable, forever changing life………she could always time warp back into her childhood just by stepping into that house.

She payed the cab driver and insisted that her one suitcase wasn't heavy at all and she could manage.

Walking up to the front door, she continued to study the house- though it was dark and the two streetlights provided little or no light, she still looked to see that nothing had changed. It didn't appear to have undergone any major transformation since she was last here………it was still the same………it was still home; she wasn't surprised in the least.

She reached out and twisted the brass doorknob- already, just opening that door into her past, she felt at ease………like she was finally where she was meant to be……….the last 3 weeks worth of anxiety that had been building up about Eli, seemed to melt away as she stepped into the warm house.

Immediately, her mother, who had probably been listening intently for any signs of movement from outside, heard Grace; "Is that my girl?" Lily called from the kitchen. She soon emerged, a wide smile on her face as she opened her arms to Grace.

"Hi mum" Grace beamed, dropping her suitcase and walking into the familiar embrace.

Lily kissed her cheek, "I don't get to do this enough anymore!" she murmured, squeezing Grace tightly.

Lily hadn't aged a bit. She still looked radiant as always. It was as though the five years of her life had come and gone with no effect on her at all………she was still Lily, Grace and Zoe's mum. Rick's second wife. Eli and Jessie's stepmother. Judy's sister……….radio celebrity!

"I missed you honey!" Lily beamed, pulling away to get a good look at Grace.

"Look at you!" Lily laughed, swiping away a few escaped tears of joy.

LILY I have to remind myself every time I see her that she's mine!……….I just catch my breath every single time I think of what a woman she's grown up to be……….the woman she is still becoming! And I think 'none of that was my doing' (laughs) I don't know how she turned out so………wonderful!

Grace rolled her eyes, "I look exactly the same as last time, mum!"

"Oh! But last time was an age ago!" Lily waved off her daughter's remark, "a whole month!"

Grace had turned into a wonderful, and beautiful woman. Her hair had grown long down her back, it was wavy and a gorgeous chestnut colour. She had grown much taller, and had slimmed down quite a bit. She had her own unique style. Hardly wore makeup (she had flawless skin, and didn't need it), except for mascara and, occasionally, lipstick. Every weekend she and Carol caught a bus downtown to go clothes hunting at op shops and little boutiques. She was individual, as the old Grace had always been, but far more assertive and confident now. Especially when it came to men- who seemed to gravitate towards her, always falling for her charm and wit……….and complete sex appeal! Though relationships didn't interest her much, she found herself getting bored too quickly and dropping the men just as quickly as they fell for her.

"Nobody has come down with you?" Lily asked, looking past Grace who shook her head; "Not this time" Grace replied, quietly. Truth be told, she was slightly embarrassed by the new boys she brought home every holiday and long weekend. She'd hate to think what her family thought of her ever-changing partners………..and worse yet, what they reported back to Eli!

"Oh well! You'll do!" Lily smiled, hugging her again.

"Gee! Thanks mum!" Grace laughed.

Just then, Jessie, who was upstairs with Katie- heard Grace's voice and came running down.

Lily released her daughter, and Jessie made a flying leap into her stepsister's arms.

"Here's the bride!" Grace laughed.

Katie wasn't far behind Jessie.

"Sorry….……..bride'S!" Grace corrected, untangling herself from Jessie who was smiling wildly.

"OH! Grace! I am so happy you're here! Can you believe its only a WEEK away!" Jessie practically screamed.

Katie came towards Grace, leaning in for a quick kiss on the cheek- "so good to see you Grace!" Katie smiled.

"Well, well………there is a celebrity among us!" Grace beamed, and Katie blushed; "getting you're name in all the big mags!………very impressive Miss Katie!" Grace nodded approvingly.

"How long was you're flight honey?" Lily asked, walking towards the door where Grace had dropped her suitcase.

"Well, the drive to the airport was 40 minutes………and the flight was an hour………..the taxi drive here was 30 minutes………" Grace sighed, running a hand through her long, wavy hair that cascaded around her shoulders and down her back. She was wearing faded jeans, brown Birkenstocks and an old blue knitted jumper.

"You must be exhausted with all that travelling!" Jessie said.

Grace gave a small nod, "Just a bit!" she sighed with a smile.

"MUM!" came a scream from the kitchen.

"Zoe! Don't talk to me from another room!" Lily yelled back, just as loud!

Jessie, Katie and Grace all rolled their eyes and exchanged smiles. It wasn't hard to see who Zoe took after.

"Is Grace here yet!" Zoe yelled back.

"YES! Come and see you're sister!" Lily replied, and Zoe soon appeared.

"Hey" she grunted, walking towards Grace and giving her a fleeting hug. Zoe was wearing baggy, black jeans and a long sleeved red sweater, she had terrible bed hair and wore a sour face.

"Mum made me stay up and wait until you got here," she mumbled.

"What? You let Zoe stay up past her bedtime?" Grace asked, looking at her mother.

"Shut up" Zoe grumbled as she headed up the stairs.

"She's here………we hugged……….goodnight!" Zoe muttered as she went to her room.

Lily sighed and groaned, "that girl!" she muttered as she carried Grace's suitcase up to her room.

"I'll go get you're bed ready so you can hit the hay-sack straight away!" Lily called over her shoulder.

Grace nodded, "where's Rick?" she asked Jessie.

"Dads outside………putting up a white tarp"

"You're having you're wedding in the backyard?" Grace asked.

Katie tucked an arm around Jessie's waist, "well that backyard is very significant to our relationship………..it's where we first 'came out' to you're family………"

"Plus………..we wanted to keep it pretty small and simple" Jessie added.

"Elegant!" Katie agreed.

"Well I'm gonna duck out and say hello, then I am off to bed!" Grace announced, and headed for the back door.

Outside, Rick was kneeling down, hammering a stake into the ground that was holding up half of the white tarp that was covering less than a quarter of the back garden.

"Hello!" Grace smiled.

Rick turned around and stood up, "Grace!" he beamed.

She went over and gave him a quick hug; "look at you! You look beautiful as always!" he said, bending down and pecking her cheek.

"You look great too!" Grace said, hugging herself against the cold outside.

Rick shrugged, "for an old man!" he smiled.

Unlike Lily, 5 years had taken a small toll on Rick. He had laugh and worry lines etched into his face, and a few white hairs on his head. He didn't exactly have one foot in the grave……….but he was definitely 'getting on' in life.

"How have things been?" Grace asked, hopping from one foot to the other as the cold air around them nipped at her body.

Rick shrugged, "can't complain…..…..my little girl is getting married………my son and stepdaughter are home, finally! My wife is radiant………I have no complaints!" he smiled and shrugged again, "and you?" he asked.

"Finishing Uni in 6 weeks………moving into an apartment by myself………final exams coming up………." She paused, "life is pretty damn hectic!" she laughed.

"Its good that life keeps moving though………keeps throwing curve balls………that's what keeps you on you're toes!" Rick smiled.

Grace gave a small nod, and exhaled a breath- a white cloud forming around her face.

"You get inside and into bed, now! You must be tired!" Rick ordered.

She gave a small nod, and pecked his cheek again, "good to be home!" she smiled, as she headed back inside, and lugged up the stairs……….up to her nice warm bed……….to her room that hadn't changed one bit………..just like her house……….just like her family………..it was all………home……….and she had missed it!

* * *

Eli couldn't quite believe it as he stood outside the white, weatherboard house. It looked the same as it did the day he left. And everyday since then, when he had returned home for the holidays. It always astounded him how it could remain so exact.

He slowly opened the door handle. The door creaked open, and he winced at the noise as he stepped inside the sleeping house. They had left one light on for him, in the kitchen. He quietly placed his case on the floor, peeled off his trench coat, and hung it on the banister.

The house even smelt the same as always……… like candles, like aromatherapy stuff, like……….women……….like home.

ELI strange as that sounds (laughs!)

* * *

She had held her breath at the sound of the creaking door. Knowing who it was downstairs. And listening so intently at the faint movement that he was making………..

GRACE this person who has been in a completely different Universe to me for 5 years, is now downstairs………..so close……….

She heard as he opened the fridge, milk bottles clanking together as he closed it again.

GRACE downstairs (closes her eyes) breathe……….just breathe………..

Grace peeled the covers off her, and sat up. She stood, and slowly tiptoed to her bedroom door, twisting the handle and opened it. All the time, her movements were so agile.

She slowly patted down the stairs, seeing the glowing light of the kitchen as she got to the bottom step. She held her breath as she crept forward, so slowly, using the darkness of the living room to keep herself invisible.

GRACE (close up of her face as she opens her eyes)

She stood by the kitchen door, still hidden by a cloak of black. She stared at Eli as he leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping a glass of water. His back was turned to her, but even though she couldn't see his aged face, she knew, already, that so much had changed about him.

He was wearing sandy coloured chord pants, and a light, loose white shirt. He had tried hard to look casual.

His hair was shorter than Grace remembered, and sleeked back with gel. He wore polished brown shoes…………..you could tell a lot about a person by their shoes……….Eli's said he was sensible and didn't like to think too far outside the box. Grace felt her heart sink as she continued to stare at him.

A big part of her hoped she would come home and be face to face with the Eli she knew 5 years ago. She so desperately wanted to see him wearing his favourite clash t-shirt, his hair spiked, and wearing baggy, ripped pants. Instead, before her was a stranger. A man she did not know. A man she couldn't remember falling in love with.

GRACE (close up of her face as she lets out a disappointed sigh)

She bit her bottom lip, and turned on her heal, deciding to leave their meeting until the morning……….but as she turned, she banged her hip against a table beside her. She winced at the loud sound that would surely give her away.

"Hello?" Eli called out faintly.

'Dammit' Grace mouthed.

"Jessie? Dad?" he called.

Grace forced herself to turn around; her shoulders tightened, her back became perfectly straight and her hands hung dead at her sides as she stepped into the light of the kitchen.

Eli had turned around now- Grace could see his face. He had grown a small goatee. His brow had one or two worry lines………which could only be expected from his hectic job……….his eyes seemed tired- still a beautiful green, with a hint of brown………but tired, Grace could remember looking into those laughing eyes and being warmed by their twinkle……….now they just looked, glassy and bored with life.

His face did look older……….still handsome, of course……….it was still the face Grace had looked up to and said 'I love you'………but those eyes……….she didn't seem to remember those tired eyes.

* * *

Everything seemed to slow down; everything around him just stopped moving and existing……….there was only him and Grace in that kitchen……….staring at each other as though they were trying to recall who the other was. And then everything slowly started to wake up and start living again……….suddenly the light hum of the refrigerator could be heard, the clock was ticking again, they could hear Rick rolling over in bed above them, crickets started chirping outside………and Eli suddenly knew exactly who was standing before him in a pink tank top and tweety bird pyjama bottoms.

ELI close up of Eli's face as his jaw drops slightly.

She looked…….…..stunning………even though she had tangled bed hair and red, puffy eyes………and she didn't look exactly 'glamorous' in her tweety bird pyjama's……..she still looked………beautiful……….just like he remembered…..……almost!

Her hair was longer, and wavier it seemed. She was taller, and slimmer. She looked a little more tanned in the face……….and her eyes looked a deeper brown and so profound that it hurt his heart to look into them for so long. He could tell those eyes had done a lot of brooding and laughing over the past 5 years. Her lips were still full and perfect. Her skin still looked soft and creamy.

As far as he could see………she was still Grace………he was dying to her hear speak, so he could know if the inside was just the same as the outside.

"Grace?" he whispered, setting his glass of water down on the bench. She felt a chill down her spine when she heard his same deep, thunderous voice. And she suddenly had the strangest desire to hear that voice sing……….to have that tremor run down her back as he sang a sweet melody………what a strange thing to desire?

She gave a small nod, and swallowed, hard. She told herself to apologise for disturbing him, and race back up the stairs………..but her mouth refused to open and her feet wouldn't move.

He cracked a small, nervous smile; and Grace distinctively felt her heart flutter as she saw that familiar smile. They cheeky, sexy smile. It still had the same effect on her, and she couldn't help cracking a small, nervous smile in reply.

"You look so,………" he mumbled, looking her up and down. She liked having his eyes on her; "great" he finally ended.

She rolled her eyes and looked down at what she was wearing. Her face blushed a hot red when she took in the tweety bird print!

She looked up, her smile more nervous now; she crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly aware of how big her boobs looked in the small tank top.

"And you………" she started, and then found herself struggling for words to describe the stranger that stood before her.

Eli waited for her to continue; "umm………different………" she finally nodded, no other word coming to mind.

Eli let out a breathy laugh and nodded his head aswell, "Yeah……….I have……..err……….changed…….." he said, looking himself up and down.

Grace looked anywhere but into his eyes, she didn't mean to offend him or anything; but, truth be told, he did look different.

"Not exactly a 21-year-old, punk-rocker anymore!" Grace added, and immediately cursed herself for saying something so stupid that made it seem like she'd pondered over her ex every night since he went away!

Eli's smile seemed to diminish a little at that comment; "no…not exactly" he replied numbly.

She bit her bottom lip. Feeling as though she had backed herself into a corner she couldn't get out of.

"Well you just got in…" Grace started, as she slowly backed out of the kitchen. Eli nodded. "I'll leave you to it then…my mum made up Zoe's old room for you to sleep in…" she stood in the kitchen doorway, "nice seeing you again Eli, welcome home" she murmured, and then turned to walk up stairs.

"Good seeing you too, Grace" he called out after her. And as she walked up the stairs, a small smile crossed her face.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The first meeting in 5 years! I know most of you are thinking that was a pretty poor chapter. Perhaps you wanted them to kiss and make up, or have a huge screaming match in the middle of the kitchen………well………there is still more to come, so just bear with me, ok! Please review (I really don't care if you hated this chapter, really!)


	94. Chapter 94

As Eli slowly opened his eyes and took in his surroundings, he thought for sure he was his old 19-year-old self again. There were 'clash' posters on the walls, dark red curtains hung, drowning out the morning's light, there was a massive, black stereo in the corner of the room………all of it resembling remnants of his old life.

He rolled over, and came face to face with a poster of Courtney Love that was hanging on the wall beside Zoe's bed. He made a mumbled groan and rubbed his eyes. This was definitely not his room……….he would never hang a picture of 'that' face on his wall.

He rolled over and looked at his watch that was on Zoe's night table. It was 8:30 in the morning. He rolled over, and closed his eyes again, about to resume his slumber, when the bedroom door opened and Zoe appeared.

Her short hair was spiky; she wore baggy black jeans with a chain hanging off one of the pockets, and had on a black tank top with a white scull and cross-bones on it.

"Sorry, E!" she murmured, walking to her drawer.

He put a hand up, "no problem, Zoe!" he mumbled.

"Just gotta get my jacket and I'll be gone………." She announced, as she rifled through her drawers, pulling out one leg of a fishnet stocking, and slipping it over one of her arms.

Eli frowned as he watched her dig around deeper in the drawer and pull out mascara and lipstick-, which she started applying carefully as she stared into the mirror.

"Where are you going, dressed like that, anyway?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbows.

She looked at him in the mirror for a moment, and then concentrated back on her dark-red lipstick, "out" was all she said.

Eli rolled his eyes, "I'm not dad and Lily………you can tell me!"

She clenched her teeth and huffed, "Over to a friend's place………" she replied, vaguely.

Eli creased his brow and continued to look at her, until she couldn't stand his questioning stare for a second longer. She turned around and tilted her head to the side, "I'm going over to a GUY friend's place………he has band practice and wants me to hear him and his friends play………..but don't tell mum………she'd totally freak!"

"And why would she 'totally freak'?……….."

Zoe sighed, "Because she'd probably think he's a bad influence on me or something!" she muttered, turning back to the mirror.

"And why would she think this………" he left a space for Zoe to fill in the mysterious 'guy friend's' name.

"Albert" she said, rolling her eyes.

Eli held in his laughter, "and why would Lily think this, Albert, would be a bad influence on you?"

"Could you be any nosier?" Zoe spat.

Eli slowly nodded, "oh yeah!"

She rolled her eyes again; Eli thought they would surely roll right out of their sockets any second now. "Because he's kinda……...but not really……...a Goth………and mum has this stereotypical idea that all Goth's smoke pot and think of committing suicide 24/7……….which is so not Albert!"

He ran a hand through his hair, "Zoe……….just tell Lily where you're going!………or else, I'll have to!" he muttered.

Zoe walked to her closet and pulled her coat out, as she stomped towards the door Eli called out; "Zoe!" to which she replied, "Alright, alright! I'll tell mum!"

And before she slammed the door she yelled, "Nice to have you back, Eli!" with the most bitter tongue.

Eli's head hit the pillow again, "good to be back!" he groaned sarcastically.

* * *

Grace stumbled into the kitchen wearing her fluffy, orange nightgown. Her hair was matted, but her red, puffy eyes were toned down after a good night's sleep.

She opened her mouth wide as she opened the fridge door, and let out a drawn-out yawn.

"Nice to see you, too!" came a voice from behind her.

Grace spun around; a broad smile crossing her lips as she saw Aunt Judy standing before her, arms open to Grace, who ran straight into them.

"Oh! I am loving this outfit!" Judy laughed as she rubbed Grace's fluffy, orange back.

Grace hadn't seen Judy last holidays, or the holidays before last holidays. Judy had been backpacking around Europe with Sam Blue- her off again, on again boyfriend who she finally managed to catch- hook, line and sinker! They had a small wedding reception a few years ago, and had been happily (and faithfully!) married ever since. Sam's 2-year anniversary present for Judy was a one-way ticket to London, England where they began their trip that would span over one and a half yeas away from home.

"Good to see you, kiddo!" Judy laughed as she untangled herself from Grace's embrace.

"Its so great to see you too, Aunt Judy!"

Judy reached out and took Grace's hands, staring her in the face while wearing a wide smile; "Go get dressed………….then bring you're little butt down here for some serious girl talk! I want to know everything!" Judy smiled, "what University is like……….all about you're love life………no details excluded! Everything!"

Grace nodded happily.

"And then we'll grab Jessie and Katie……...and have a girls day out! Talking all about the wedding!" Judy beamed.

Grace smiled, and hugged her aunt again; "It really is good to see you, Judy!"

They pulled away again, "well! Scoot! Get changed!" Judy ordered.

Grace turned on her heel, and raced up the stairs. One thing she missed doing from her child-hood was spending long days with her Aunt Judy, the one person who seemed to 'get' her when her mother was just completely clueless about everything! A day with aunt Judy could make any bad situation just evaporate, because Judy was just one of those special people……….those people who could make everyone else around them feel at ease just by flashing a smile……….

Just as Grace walked past Zoe's bedroom, the door flung open and she collided with Eli- who was wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt. They bumped heads, and then stepped back, hands to their foreheads wincing with pain.

"Ow! Jesus!" Grace hissed.

"Sorry!" Eli replied numbly.

Grace's head shot up as her amnesia wore off and she suddenly thought of who she had just crashed into.

"Eli!" she breathily whispered his name.

He looked up then aswell, removing his hand from his throbbing head. Last nights meeting suddenly came flooding back to him………along with some shooting pains in his temples.

"You have a strong head!" she whispered.

"What?" Eli asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. The way a puppy does when it doesn't understand a command.

She pointed to her own head, and Eli laughed and nodded; "oh! I could say the same about you!………" he replied, rubbing his forehead again.

Grace's face was blank as she stared at him. She thought, maybe, last night was just her imagination playing up on her. Eli hadn't really been standing infront of her last night………it was just a dream……….a strange, wonderful………dream?

When Grace didn't say anything in reply; only stared at him dully, he scratched his forehead and apologized again; just trying to fill in the sea of silence; "Are you ok? Sorry I bumped you like that!"

Grace blinked, and shook her head slightly; "fine……….that's fine………" she mumbled.

Eli gave a small nod, "Well I'm heading into the shower………." He said, stepping around her.

Grace's body moved with him, keeping a hold on his eyes, which looked a lot more natural and memorable than they did last night. "I………I'm going out………with Judy………" she muttered, still dazed.

"So you wont be home today?" Eli asked, and Grace gave a small nod.

"Ok……well have fun!…….." Eli said, turning around.

"Where?" Grace asked.

He turned back to her and laughed, "with Judy!" he reminded her, and Grace winced with pain at her stupidity.

"Right! Of course! Thanks! Have fun in the shower!" she replied, and instantly slapped her forehead with a flat palm.

"Err……..thanks!………" Eli said, over his shoulder.

He opened the bathroom door, but before stepping inside, he turned back to Grace "Nice nightgown!" he said with a grin, and walked inside, closing the door behind him.

Grace looked down at herself, and slapped her forehead again. "First the pyjama's……..now the nightgown!" she muttered, as she headed into her room.

* * *

"Oh look! It's my long-lost brother!" Jessie joked sarcastically as Eli entered the kitchen.

"Jess!" he smiled, opening his arms to her.

"Good to see you!" Jessie smiled as she squeezed her brother, "finally!" she added.

As they pulled away Eli gave a sympathetic shrug, "I'm sorry, Jess! But you know how busy I am………." He started.

Jessie held her hands up, silencing him, "I don't want to hear it! I'm just glad you took time out of you're busy schedule for you're sister's wedding!"

Eli pulled her in for another hug, ruffling her hair slightly with a clenched fist. Jessie giggled and pushed him away, playfully punching his chest; "still a pain!" she joked.

Eli smiled and walked to the kitchen bench, pulling out a mug from the top shelf and poured himself a coffee.

"This place never changes……do you notice that, Jess?" he asked, his back still to his sister.

"Well of course it doesn't!" she replied, picking up a piece of half-eaten toast from the plate infront of her.

Eli turned around, brining the hot coffee to his lips and taking a tentative sip.

"It's you that changes!" she said, and then took a bite.

Eli gave a small nod and looked down at his feet; his shiny brown shoes, spotless and proper. "Hmmm…..I never thought of it that way!" he murmured, taking another sip.

"Where's dad and Lily?" he asked, snapping out of his morning trance.

"Lily is at the station and dad's gone out to buy some more stakes for the tarp!"

Eli gave a small nod, "I hope Grace got a better welcoming party than I did!" he mumbled

Jessie's eyes widened, "speaking of Grace………" she began.

Eli put a hand up, "we have already seen each other……….there were no fireworks or catastrophes………just a nice, civil 'hello'!"

Jessie shrugged, "oh……that's nice…….." she murmured, trying not to hide her disappointment.

But Eli knew Jessie wasn't about to drop the pivotal 5-year reunion so easily; he counted down the seconds in his head until Jessie would open her mouth and demand details.

7,8,9,10………

"So what do you think of her?" she blurted out.

Eli sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then scratched his goatee in deep concentration; "she seems surprisingly like………." He began, allowing his sentence to elapse, knowing how eager Jessie was to hear his thoughts on his once love; "……….Grace Manning!" he ended, with a flop.

Jessie's shoulders sunk, "well then you obviously must have talked to her for only a second or two………because I believe if you really sit down and listen to her………you'll see she is nothing like the old Grace Manning!" Jessie replied.

Eli raised an eyebrow, "is that so?" he said, sipping the last of his coffee.

Jessie nodded, "but personality aside……..don't you think she is stunning?" she raised her own eyebrow.

ELI always have.

He cleared his throat and placed his mug in the sink, giving a small nod as he turned back to Jessie; "hmm….." he said, and grabbed the kettle, pouring himself some more coffee.

"You don't see what is right infront of you anymore, do you?" she said, as she slid off her stool.

Eli shrugged, "I'm going to head outside and breath in some air" he murmured, as he headed for the front door.

Jessie rolled her eyes and let out a small groan, "Impossible!" she muttered as she watched him open the front door.

* * *

"And Roger was too…………." Grace straightened her back, inclining that the boy she brought home 2 Christmas's ago was too 'stiff'.

Judy laughed, "there's nothing worse than a boy who cant make you laugh!…….." she murmured, taking another sip of her hot cocoa.

Grace nodded in agreement, kicking her foot slightly to gather some movement on the swing seat she and Judy were sitting on, on the front porch; "well then I met Harry at a fraternity party………" she began, when the front door opened and Eli appeared.

He looked at the two women and smiled.

"Eli!" Judy exclaimed, motioning for him to give her a kiss on the cheek.

He did, and as he pulled away, he shot a side-ways glance at Grace, who blushed red and sipped her cocoa hurriedly.

"Where have you been?" he asked, leaning against the porch railing.

Judy laughed; "backpacking around Europe………having the time of my life………just the usual!" she smiled.

Eli laughed and nodded, "of course!"

Grace cleared her throat and began ringing the hem of the blanket that was draped over her body.

"Oh! Grace and I were just discussing her love life!" Judy suddenly explained, patting Grace's knee.

Grace looked up at Eli who was looking out across the front lawn, seemingly uninterested in Grace's love life.

"Mind if I listen in?" he asked, without turning to Grace.

"Of course not!" Judy said, sipping her cocoa.

Grace could have pushed her off the swing seat!

GRACE (covers her face and groans) oh god!

"Go on Gracie………you met Harry………" Judy encouraged.

Eli looked down at Grace as she cleared her throat.

ELI Harry? (Raising an eyebrow)

"Well Harry tried a one-liner on me………" Grace began in a small voice, totally aware of Eli's presence.

Judy laughed, "oh no! Don't tell me it was the 'do you believe in love at first sight……or should I walk by again' one?"

Grace gave a small shake of her head and grinned, "no……..it was worse!" she giggled,

Grace cleared her throat and put on a deep-thunderous male voice, "did it hurt?" she said to Judy, who smiled and role-played, "what?" she asked, fluttering her eyes.

Eli laughed at the two of them.

Grace cleared her throat again, "when you fell out of heaven!"

Judy cracked up, "needless to say……….Mr Slick and I didn't last very long after that night!" Grace added, and sipped her cocoa.

Eli smirked, "Hey! If done right……..that line can do a lot for a man!" he interrupted the girls laughing, as both of them looked up at him.

Grace raised an eyebrow, "don't tell me you stoop so low as to use pick-up lines?" she asked.

Eli smiled wider, "what? Do you think I get girls just because of my looks?" he asked, and striked a pouty pose. Grace laughed and rolled her eyes, "so what's you're full proof one-liner?" she asked.

Eli looked Grace straight in the eye; she felt her whole body quiver. He gave a lazy, slick smile "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name?" he said, in a deep, romantic voice that sent her heart a flutter.

Judy laughed, "That's not half bad!" she smirked.

Grace and Eli broke their gaze and turned to Judy, with awkward smiles.

"Works every time!" he said, sipping some more of his coffee.

"So Grace, who is you're current beau?" Judy asked.

Eli looked at Grace, holding his breath as he awaited her answer.

"I am beau-less at the moment!" she replied, and Eli breathed.

"Maybe you should use Eli's pick-up line, hmm?" Judy asked.

Grace turned to Eli, flashing him a coy half-smile, "maybe I should!" she said huskily.


	95. Chapter 95

When Grace got back from her day out with Judy, Jessie and Katie, Rick and Lily were already home and in deep conversation with Eli. He sat in the big single chair in the lounge room while Lily and Rick sat on the three seater opposite him. They were firing a million and one questions at him, and he answered each one with precision and calm. Grace had never thought Eli's job could be all that interesting, clearly she guessed wrong seeming as Rick and Lily were enthralled by the conversation. Something about Eli going out for a new position?

Judy had offered to drive Jessie and Katie back to their apartment. It was 6:30, and Grace had nothing to do now that the girls were gone.

The day had been thoroughly boring infact, the four of them had gone for a coffee at a lakeside café, Jessie and Katie had chatted on and on about every tiny detail of their wedding. The whole time Grace just sat there thinking how odd it was that people become so caught up in the 'big day', especially those you would never guess to be such perfectionists about the number of flowers that will be set on each table. But she listened intently none the less, smiling, nodding and asking useless questions like what style of shoes Jessie wanted. High heel, low heel, no heel?

As she walked through the front door, Eli lifted his head, but didn't nod or smile at Grace to acknowledge her arrival- she didn't know why that bothered her slightly.

"Hello honey! Have a nice day with the girls?" Lily asked.

Grace gave a small nod, "yep" was all she murmured.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour!" Lily added, and then turned back to Eli, firing him another question.

Grace rolled her eyes and slowly walked up the stairs, she turned her head and watched as the three of them spoke intently. Eli looked up at her just as she reached the top, and then looked back to his father as he asked a question- Grace took note of that aswell.

She collapsed on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, just thinking about how; even her room smelt the same as it did 5 years ago. And then a thought hit her, Carol!

She sat up and grabbed her cordless phone from the side of her bed, dialling the number of her dorm room. Carol let it ring 5 times before picking up.

"Hey, who's this?"

"Grace!"

"Uh! Grace! Why the hell didn't you call me when you first arrived?"

Grace groaned, that's what she forgot to do when she got home! "Oh! Sorry Carol, it totally left my mind!"

"You're plane could have crashed!………the taxi driver could have taken you down a deserted road and killed you!………anything, and I wouldn't have known!"

Grace let out a small laugh, "well I'm here and I'm fine! Thankyou for worrying!"

"No problem, anytime!"

Grace lay back down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling again; "so how is school?"

"Don't give me that!" Carol snapped.

"What!"

"I don't want to talk about school! I want to talk about you and that lover boy of your's!"

Grace sighed, "not him again!"

"Yes him again!" she replied instantly, "of course him again! Have you seen him? What's he look like? Was it love at first sight? Is he married? Ugly? Bald?"

Grace laughed, "no!……he's still fairly handsome……..a lot more suave and up-tight……..still has hair……..not married……I don't know anything about his marital status, actually!"

Carol sighed, "Have you talked to him at all, girly?"

Grace closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip, "actually…. we had this really strange first meeting…at about midnight…." She said, wincing when she heard Carol squeal.

"What happened? I want details!"

"I don't know…. It was just strange…there were weird vibes…and I couldn't help noticing how much he'd changed…it was just a very…strange first meeting!"

"And since then, you haven't talked to him much?"

"Nope…and I sort of want to keep it that way…I don't really want to know anything about the new Eli!"

"Why? I didn't even know the old Eli and I am dying to know all about the new Eli!"

Grace laughed, and Carol joined her after a moment, and then Grace sighed and rubbed her forehead; "I don't want to know the new Eli because….I'm still in love with the old Eli…and I guess I just want to keep that image of the guy I fell for, rather then transform him in my mind, you know?"

"Yeah…I know…"

Grace let out a small laugh; "what?" Carol asked.

"You want to know something really stupid?"

"Hmm…"

"I act like a total idiot around him!" Grace laughed, covering her face with one hand as she remembered bumping foreheads and her tweety bird pyjamas.

"What? Grace Manning, embarrassed around a guy? That does not compute honey!"

"I know! I know! But so far I've worn my tweety bird pyjamas around him, and my big fluffy, orange nightgown….and I bumped heads with him this morning….and I mumble and blush…how weird is that?" Grace laughed.

"Sounds like this guy is special if he can throw man-eater, Grace Manning, off balance like that!"

"No…it's not that…it's just how I used to act around him, when I was a giggly teenage girl! I guess some things just never change!"

Grace heard something in the background, "I gotta go darls! call me tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok! Bye Carol, love you!"

"Love you too bosom buddy!"

Grace hung up her phone and stared at the ceiling again.

GRACE some things never change…will I always be a 16 year old girl around Eli? Is that all he sees me as now? Or can he see the woman I've turned into?

* * *

"Pass the potatoes" Zoe asked.

Lily eyed her, "please!" she ordered.

Zoe rolled her eyes, "please?" she asked Eli, who passed her the bowl.

"Thankyou!" Lily ordered, this time Zoe didn't say anything else, and Lily sighed angrily.

"Can I please have some bread?" Grace asked Rick. But Eli was quicker; he reached for the basket and handed it to her, their fingers touching slightly.

Lily had made them sit beside one another. They were uncomfortable about it, and kept fidgeting, not that Rick or Lily noticed.

"Thanks" Grace murmured, taking a piece.

"So…I have decided to take up the drums!" Zoe announced.

"What! Over my dead body!" Lily hissed back!

"Mum! Do not come in the way of my creative genius! I need to explore my imagination and soul!" Zoe spat back, sitting up straight.

Grace looked from her mother to Zoe, and back again. They both flashed the same evil stare at the other, pursed their lips, and raised an eyebrow.

"I will not have you thumping on drums every second of the day and night! I just wont!" Lily commanded.

"You're suppressing my dreams, mother!"

Grace couldn't believe how alike her mother and Zoe were. Both beautiful and determined. They could seem weak one moment and invincible the next. She wished she had more of her mother in her, like Zoe.

"Well so be it for some peace and quiet!" Lily retorted, taking a sip of her wine.

Zoe pushed her chair out and stood up, "so much for me taking Albert up on his offer of me joining his band!" she said, hoarsely.

"Zoe sit back down, please," Rick asked, rubbing his forehead. Grace suddenly understood why he had so many wrinkles, after 5 long years with these two at each other's throat.

"Sit down young lady!" Lily ordered as Zoe started walking away.

"I'm going to my room!" she called over her shoulder as she raced up the stairs, leaving the dining table in silence.

Eli and Grace exchanged uncomfortable glances, and then stared back down at their plate.

"Does that happen often?" Grace finally asked, looking to her mother and Rick.

Rick nodded solemnly.

Lily shrugged, "Its because I let her chop off her beautiful hair! Ever since then she has turned into a spiteful little thing!" she muttered.

"Last week she wanted to turn the garage into an art studio" Rick said, and then stuffed a piece of carrot into his mouth.

Eli gave a small nod, "kids!" he sighed, as if understanding exactly what Lily and Rick were going through.

Grace let out a small laugh and shoved him with her elbow, "I'm sure you know all about it!" she said, sarcastically.

Eli looked at her and smiled.

"Its so nice to have you two here again!" Lily suddenly said, and they both looked to her smiling face.

"I don't think you two have been under the same roof for….5 years?" Rick said, frowning.

Grace and Eli looked nervously at each other, then at the same time they said "no…there was that time…at Christmas…we saw each other!…"

They stopped speaking and laughed at their unison.

Lily shook her head, "no! Not that I recall…I think this is the first time you've seen one another in 5 years!"

Eli turned to Grace, who looked in the other direction as she broke her bread in two; "I guess it is," she murmured flatly.

"I didn't even realize" Eli added, as he pushed the food on his plate around with a fork.

Before Lily could open her mouth and say more on the topic, Grace cut in chirpily, saying "I think Ill go over to dad's tonight…I haven't seen him yet…"

Lily gave a small nod, "of course…but wouldn't you want to leave that until tomorrow?"

Grace shook her head, "no, I'll go tonight!" she said, sternly "I'll ask Zoe if she wants to come aswell!"

Eli looked at her from the corner of his eye; could she make her discomfort anymore obvious?

Lily gave another nod, "oh…all right…if you feel like you need to go over there…" she murmured, staring down at her plate.

Grace felt Eli's eyes, but refused to meet his gaze, instead she scoffed the rest of her food down, excused herself, and dragged Zoe out of her room.

"Say hello to Jake for me!" Lily called as the two girls walked out the door.

* * *

"I saw dad last week!" Zoe grumbled, folding her arms.

Grace didn't say anything, only stared at the road ahead.

"Why did you have to drag me along, huh?" Zoe complained again.

Grace looked at her sister for a moment, and then back to the road.

"Are you on something?" Grace suddenly asked, catching Zoe totally off guard.

"What? Oh my god! Pull the goddam car over! I don't need this!" Zoe said, reaching for the door handle.

Grace sighed, and hit the auto-lock on the panel beside her, "well, are you?" she asked again.

Zoe gave up on the door and turned to her sister with a scowl, "your crazy, asking me something like that!" she pointed to her head, "totally mental! You know that?"

"Well look at you, Zoe!" Grace exclaimed, looking at her for a moment. Black, spiky hair, dark eyes and lips…torn, baggy clothes. "Where did my little sister go, huh?"

"What the hell are YOU on?" Zoe muttered, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms, tight, over her chest.

"Well, god Zoe! No one knows what to do with you, do you know that?" Grace didn't know why she was getting so fired up about this subject, she didn't even know where the idea of Zoe doing drugs came from- she knew it was totally insane and impossible. Maybe she was just venting some built-up frustration about the perplexing Eli? Though she would never admit that to herself.

Zoe didn't respond, she just pouted and avoided looking at Grace, which only angered her sister more.

"Mum keeps telling herself it's a phase you're going through…. poor Rick has no clue what's going on between you and mum…and I would hate to think what dad is feeling about his daughter turning into a punk princess!" Grace spoke sharply, not taking her eyes off the road.

"Shut-up Grace!" Zoe spat angrily, in an attempt to silence her sister.

Grace sighed, and turned to Zoe, who was wearing a sullen, hurt face.

"I'm…I'm sorry Zoe" Grace muttered, "Its not that…" she started, but Zoe cut in, angrily.

"As if I don't get enough bad-mouthing at school, Grace! From people who don't even know me but think they have the right to judge me by how I look! I do not need that from my own sister aswell, ok?"

Grace hadn't heard Zoe sound so… human…in a long time! She was so used to hearing a bitter tongue from her sister, or getting the silent treatment.

There was a thick silence in the car for a long time. Zoe hugged herself tight and Grace continued to look straight ahead, neither of them daring to say anything… until Grace finally mustered the courage.

"I really am sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't be!" Zoe replied quickly, "Its ok that you think I'm a freak…everyone else does!"

"I don't think you're a freak, Zoe!" Grace said, defensively.

Zoe huffed at her response, "yes you do, and its ok…I guess I kind of am, in a way?"

Grace looked at her from the corner of her eye, "no! Your not!" she sighed, gripping the wheel hard; "You're just trying to find a release for yourself…" she felt Zoe soften as she spoke, and continued; "you're trying on different personalities until you find one that suits you…and that's fine…that's what being a teenager is all about!"

Zoe continued to stare out her window, but listened intently to Grace, none the less.

"And those people who tease you at school…they're just jealous…because they can see that your happy with who you are….with the personality you've found…and they just wish they had that same kind of security…that's all it is, Zoe!"

"You know that doesn't really help me right now…" Zoe croaked.

Grace sighed again, "I know! Because you're 16 and it feels like the entire world is against you, you don't fit in anywhere and you're not sure that you ever will…and right now you just wish everything would be simple and understandable instead of complicated and everything you wish it wasn't!" Grace sighed again, and looked at Zoe quickly before turning into her father's street; "I was there once aswell, Zoe…I had my releases and personality changes aswell…"

"What was you're release?" Zoe asked.

GRACE Eli

Grace straightened in her seat and gripped the wheel, "acting…I could do things I would never normally do…I could transform myself into people I could only ever dream of being…it was my everything!"

"Mine is music…and this…" Zoe said, motioning to her outfit.

Grace nodded, "if it helps…"

Zoe nodded, "it does…" she whispered.

Grace gave a small smile, which Zoe soon reflected; "you know…mum doesn't get me…neither does dad!"

Grace let out a small laugh, "I know that feeling…" she said, whimsically; "maybe they're just too old to remember what being a teenager is all about!"

Zoe laughed aswell, "hmm…they are pretty ancient!"

Zoe uncrossed her arms and pushed a spike of hair from her face, "I think you get me though, Grace…cause it wasn't so long ago that you were in this position and everything…"

Grace smiled wider, and turned to her sister, "Well you know, you can talk to me whenever you want…night or day…I'm just a phone call away…always, ok?"

Zoe nodded, and then looked out her window again, "I'll remember that" she murmured.

Grace pulled into her father's driveway, but before she got out, she rested a hand on Zoe's shoulder.

"Finding yourself can be real difficult, Zo" she murmured, "and finding yourself isn't all that life is about…it's more about creating yourself…remember that aswell, ok?" she added, with a simple smile.

Zoe gave a small nod, not wanting to express how cheesy that really sounded, but taking it in anyway, "ok" she murmured in response, and opened the car door.

"Is that my big girl?"

Grace smiled when she heard her father's voice; he was standing on the porch smiling at her- having heard the car pull up.

"Hi dad!" Grace said, walking into his arms.

His hug was strong and protective- it hadn't changed since she was a little girl, and she hoped that it never would.

"Hey dad" Zoe said, lagging behind Grace.

"Zoe!" Jake exclaimed, releasing Grace, and kissing Zoe's forehead; "I just love what you've done to you're hair…" he murmured flatly as he motioned for the girls to step inside the house, Zoe and Grace both giggled.

Tiffany was sitting in the middle of the lounge room with little Domonique, who was 4 yeas old now, with a tuft of curly, blonde hair and big, baby blue eyes.

"Grace!" Tiffany exclaimed, standing up and embracing her stepdaughter.

"Hey Tiffany!" she turned to her baby brother, "Hello Dommy!" she said, with a wide, toothy smile.

Domonique looked up, with a frown on his face; "Gwace!" he said, sternly.

"Oh, he's just grumpy because he didn't get a good nap today!" Tiffany assured Grace.

"Oh! Zoe I just….err…love you're hair?" Tiffany said, examining Zoe's new do.

The two girls couldn't hold in their laughter now, and were in stitches- Tiffany, Domonique and Jake looking at them completely bewildered.

"Gwace and Zo lafing!" Domonique pointed out.


	96. Chapter 96

ELI I knew it wouldn't be easy…for either of us.

He stared at himself in the mirror. The severe, black bags that had been under his eyes last week were starting to fade, and the creases in his brow were barely noticeable.

ELI stepping back into each other's lives after so long…how could that be easy for anyone?…especially with the ending we had!

He knew home and family was doing him a lot of good…he could feel it…the tenseness in his shoulders and neck was beginning to soothe…and his fatigue was wearing down with each morning he slept in until 9:00.

ELI it's hard…seeing her…remembering what we had but knowing I cant share it with anyone else but myself…. its hard remembering how much I hurt her…how much she hurt me…

Eli cupped a handful of water and splashed it on his face. It was cold and woke him up instantly. He reached for a washcloth and dabbed his face, then ran a hand through his ruffled hair.

ELI its even harder feeling this unbearable discomfort that looms between us…and I wonder, 'does she want to talk about it?'….should I just ignore it…or confront her…really talk to her? Does she want that?

He reached for his shirt and shrugged it on. After Grace's disappearing act last night…Eli decided he would sit down and talk with her today…really talk…about the past, present, future…everything!

ELI easier said than done…right?

* * *

"Grace?"

She jumped out of her skin when she heard Eli's deep, thunderous voice call her name. She was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee, and staring out the window at the clear blue skies.

"Jesus!" she hissed, dabbing at the spots on her white shirt when dabs of coffee had spilled from her mug.

"Oh! Sorry!" Eli said cautiously, handing her a tea towel.

She looked up and shrugged, "No problem…I'm sure it won't stain…" she lied.

Eli gave a small nod, and sat down opposite her, watching as she dabbed at the black stains.

After a moment, she felt his eyes and slowly looked up, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear; "Eli…" she started, "do you want something?"

He looked away for a moment, and then connected his eyes with hers again; "actually…I do…now that you mention it…" he started.

Grace tucked a piece of hair behind her ear again, and fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat as he stared at her, "o-k" she said slowly, "What is it?"

GRACE I don't normally do this (dramatically tucks piece of hair behind her ear again) …. And I don't do this (dramatically fidgets)…I don't do that around guys! Its just him! Why is it just him!

"I think we need to talk!" Eli spoke cautiously and deeply, keeping his eyes intensely fixed on hers, "because lets face it Grace…we wont be able to survive this wedding the way we've been going…"

Grace cleared her throat and straightened, "what do you mean?" she asked, dumbly.

Eli gave a comforting half smile, "this…constant…awkwardness…don't tell me you haven't noticed it?"

She slowly began rubbing her hands together, "sorry" she said, with a small shake of her head, "I honestly don't know what you mean?"

He raised an eyebrow and motioned to her rubbing hands, "I know we have a history….not the best history…and right now it's interfering with the present…and I think we need to talk through it…don't you?"

GRACE yes!….no!…maybe!…. I don't know! (Groans) why don't I know with him?

He sighed, "Look…I was just going to propose that you and I spend the day together…ask each other those menacing questions that we both know are nagging at the back of our minds?"

She turned and looked out the window for a moment, today was a Wednesday…everyone would be at work…they could have some privacy…and she was dying to know about the mysterious Isabelle.  
She turned back to him and gave a small shrug, "I guess so…if that's what you want…its not like I have anything better to do today?"

* * *

Grace and Eli avoided eyes as they sat across from one another in the busy, expensive restaurant of Eli's choice.

ELI easier said than done?…yeah! Right!

He cleared his throat, "So…University….how's that been?" he initiated the conversation.

GRACE after 5 years his nagging question is 'hows University?'….

ELI who did you date? Sexual relations? True love? Any proposals? Where will you be in another 5 years? Did you ever think about me? Do you still think about me now?….describe the guys that you dated….?

Grace cleared her throat, "well…err…..this is my last year…" she began, "and its all been going really….really….well"

Eli gave a small nod and they sat in silence for another decade.

"How has B & J booklovers been for you?" she asked, the question suddenly coming to mind.

He gave a small nod, "fine, fine"

They avoided eyes again, looking around the bustling restaurant, and the hordes of people.

"So…something to drink?" Eli asked, waving a waiter over.

Grace nodded and ordered an ice-tea, Eli asked for a whisky.

"Whisky?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Every now and again" he said, simply, and then they went back to avoiding eyes.

GRACE soooo…..this is going rather….uncomfortably.

"Shame we never got to see each other in the last 5 years….isn't it?" Eli suddenly asked.

Grace blinked and gave a small nod. He knew perfectly well that they planned it that way….there was no 'shame' about it….

ELI I have sort of…sometimes…every now and again…missed you?

"I heard bits and pieces about you!" Grace said, brining her ice-tea to her lips.

Eli found this rather amusing; he raised an eyebrow and gave a cheeky half smile, "all good things, I hope?"

Grace gave a small nod, "of sorts!"

"Of sorts?" he repeated, taking in her reply, "well….tell me what you know Miss Manning!…"

"Oh no!" she said sharply, with a smile on her lips, "this has to go both ways….!"

Eli gave a hoarse, half laugh and a small nod, "Alright…you ask me a burning question….I answer…and visa versa! Alright?"

Grace nodded, and sat back in her seat, eyeing him suspiciously; "Jessie tells me wavering amounts….but I am dying to set the record straight…" she raised an eyebrow, "how much do you earn?"

Eli laughed, "enough" he replied simply. But Grace wasn't satisfied; she found his foot under the table and gave him a swift kick. "Ouch! Ok! Ok!" he said, feigning pain, he unfolded the napkin that was lying on his plate, and took a pen from his pants pocket, scribbling down a number, and sliding the napkin over to Grace who nodded agreeably, "not bad! Not bad at all!" she murmured.

He sat back in his seat and scratched his goatee, "what was you're entry score?" he asked, smoothly.

Grace laughed and ran a hand through her wavy hair, "You don't want to know something like that!" she waved his question aside, "that sort of thing is boring!"

"Oh no! I answered yours!" he exclaimed.

She laughed again, and reached for his pen, scribbling down something on his napkin, and sliding it over to him. He nodded wisely, "not half bad!" he said, "you're modest….I'd be screaming that number from the rooftops…!"

"What makes you think that I didn't?" she asked, with a smile, "what's this New York job you're going for?" she asked, moving on.

"Just that…basically the position I hold now…but based in New York. The office will be bigger, so the work will be more hectic…and the pay a little steeper…" he answered.

"Steeper than that?" Grace asked, motioning towards the napkin, and Eli nodded with a smile.

"My turn!" he said, leaning forward, "what are you're plans after Uni?"

"I've been given a job at a publishing house in Charlotte…I am currently searching for an apartment there…and by next year I hope to be heading in you're direction…" she answered him.

"And where's that?"

"New York…they have their main house in the big apple…and I want to work there!"

ELI so close to one another?

Eli nodded with a smile, "its all working out for you, huh?", Grace nodded in reply.

"Ok, next question!" he said, reaching for his whisky.

GRACE just……ask……..what harm could it do?

"What was she like?" Grace asked, slowly and cautiously, with the smallest smile playing on her lips. She was actually enjoying getting to know Eli all over again….she was enjoying feeling comfortable around him again…it felt….nice.

Eli's glass was suspended against his lips. He slowly lowered it and looked Grace straight in the eye, "who?" he asked, slowly.

Grace fidgeted in her seat, "Isabelle….my mum and Jessie told me little about her…"

Eli placed his glass on the table, and sat back in his chair with a darkness across his face that wasn't there before; "I don't want to discuss that!" he said, simply.

"That?" Grace repeated with a frown.

"That!…her!…I don't want to discuss that topic!" he replied, sternly.

"You don't want to discuss it? Geez Eli…this isn't one of you're up-tight business meetings…." Grace began.

Eli moved in his seat, a deep scowl crossing his face, "How many frat-boys did you sleep with, Grace?" he suddenly asked, throwing her off balance.

"That is none of you're business!" she replied, bitterly.

"And Isabelle is none of yours!"

They stared each other down for an elapsed time, a thick hatred rising in the air. Grace couldn't believe Eli had just raised his voice at her, and neither could Eli….she also couldn't believe what he had asked.

ELI I…I didn't mean that! It's just…

Grace pushed her chair out.

"Where are you going?" Eli sighed, "sit down…I'm…"

"I'm catching a taxi!" Grace said simply, and walked towards the door.

Eli pushed his chair out and ran after her, grabbing her arm, she stopped walking- a few heads in the restaurant turned to watch the feud.

"Let me go Eli!"

"Look I am…"

"Let me go!" she said again, interrupting him.

He did as he was told, and watched her storm out of the restaurant to hail a cab. He had really blown it!

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Yes! I know I said season 2 would only be 10 chapters….but I'm having so much fun writing-up these new characters…it will span over a few more chapters. I don't know how many, 20? 30? Lets just see how it goes.

So…chapter 96 was the first real Eli/Grace scene…what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Please review!


	97. Chapter 97

"Jessie!" Katie called out to the dining room, where her fiancée was setting the table for two.

"I hear it!" Jessie called, as she jogged towards the front door, where someone was knocking on the other side.

She twisted the handle, and there was Grace, standing before her with a scowl on her face.

"Gracie?" Jessie asked, but Grace didn't reply, she simply stormed past Jessie and plopped herself down on the couch, folding her arms across her chest.

"Come In!….." Jessie mumbled, closing the door and following after her.

"We were just about to sit down for lunch…you going to stay…?" Jessie started, but Grace interrupted with a huff and a sigh; "I don't believe his nerve!" she grumbled.

"Who was it, Jess?" Katie asked, emerging from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

"Well hey Grace!" she smiled, and received an icy nod of acknowledgement from Grace.

Jessie looked towards Katie, giving an empathetic shrug. Katie gave a small nod, and scurried back into the kitchen, indicating that Jessie should handle Grace's mess…whatever it was…

"Ok, so spill!" Jessie ordered, taking a seat beside the subdued Grace.

GRACE well for starters you're brother is an…(waves her arms around, huffs and puffs, searching for a word)…an….oxymoron! Whatever the hell that is! And he's rude, selfish, passive-aggressive, a total idiot! Uncompassionate! Stubborn! Unlawful (groans loudly in frustration!) He's a…a…a pig!

Jessie stared at Grace, waiting for even the smallest sound to come out of her pursed lips. Grace turned to her, with a deep frown and cold eyes.

Jessie sighed and rubbed her forehead, "I'm guessing this has something to do with Eli?" she asked, softly.

"Don't say his name infront of me!" Grace spat, turning away from Jessie again, who gave another, deep sigh.

"What did he do?" Jessie asked, and received no reply. "Ok…what didn't he do?" she tried again.

"Grrrr!" Grace suddenly screeched, clenching her fists.

Jessie raised an eyebrow and waited for Grace to calm down, "it might help if you talk to me…" she started.

Grace turned to her, "you're brother came to me this morning…talking about how we have to 'keep the peace between us' and 'talk through our uneasiness'!"

Jessie nodded, allowing for Grace to go on.

"I was reluctant, but he said it would be the best thing for you and Katie, so I agree…and he takes me out for lunch at this nice restaurant…and to begin with he's all quiet and stubborn…then he mentions how it's a shame we didn't get to see each other over the past 5 years!" she ended on a sarcastic, angry note. "As if we didn't both plan to avoid each other! He acts as though it was me who avoided him! The nerve!" she grumbled.

"Go on..." Jessie urged, rolling her eyes.

"So then we loosen up and start discussing work and Uni…just life in general!…and I figure now is the perfect time to ask about the illusive 'Isabelle'…so I do…and he just goes…mental!" Grace huffed, running a hand tragically through her hair.

Jessie raised an eyebrow, "describe mental?"

"He just got this dark cloud over his face… and he asks me, in this really brutal tone… 'How many frat boys did you sleep with?'…The nerve of that…that…pig?" Grace huffed angrily, crossing her arms tightly again.

"And…" Jessie continued.

"And… he told me he didn't want to discuss Isabelle…as though she was some top secret business deal he didn't want to let me in on!…for god sake!" Grace rubbed her forehead, "we shouted, I got up and walked away, he tried to stop me…I yelled at him some more…and then I took off…and now I'm here!" she finally summarized, and turned to Jessie for guidance.

Jessie stared at her blankly for a moment, simply taking in the situation, the way she would with a youth that had come to her for help on family issues, or peer pressure….she didn't really want to make any solutions…she wanted to make Grace see that there was wrong-doing on her behalf aswell…

"Don't you think, maybe, you should have left the subject of Isabelle to a later date…when you two were on steadier ground?" she asked, quietly.

Grace stared at her, with pursed lips and an angry stare; "you're taking his side?" she asked, slowly and bitterly.

Jessie sighed and shook her head; "don't do this to me Grace! Not between you two…the people I love so much! Don't do this to me…please?"

Grace sighed again, and then reached for Jessie's hand, squeezing it tight; "of course I wont…it's you're big day coming up…you don't need this…I'll just go home and face the pig!"

Grace released her hand, and stood up, "I don't want to do this to you…really…I'm sorry for bursting in here…"

Jessie sighed, and tugged on Grace's jumper, pulling her back down; "don't be stupid…I am not taking sides…if you ask me, you and Eli were both in the wrong!" she started, somehow Grace had dragged her into giving an opinion, the way Grace always did. "But maybe the subject of Isabelle is a touchy one for Eli…close to his heart? I mean, I'm his sister and I don't even know the full story!" she gave a small nod, "maybe you should just go home and apologize…I expect he'd do the same…"

Grace gave a small nod, "ok…I will apologize to the pig…" she gave a small smile, "right after lunch…I'm starving!"

Jessie gave a small nod and a smile, "sure! Join us….we couldn't stop you anyway!" she sighed, and Grace gave her a quick hug, before bolting into the kitchen to see what Katie was cooking up.

While she was gone, Jessie reached for the phone that was on the coffee table, dialling in Eli's mobile phone number.

"Hello?" came a deep voice.

"Eli, it's Jessie!"

"Yes?" he replied, in a cold voice.

"I'm guessing you're eating lunch alone right now, huh?"

"How did you…" he began.

"Because Grace is over here right now, and she just told me her side of the story…"

"Oh! Jess! You will not believe what she asked me…" Eli began.

"I don't want to hear it right now, Eli! Just please come and pick her up from here when you've finished eating, ok?"

There was silence on the other end.

"I have reasoned with her…she knows it was her fault as much as your's…"

"Mine!" Eli burst out.

"Eli! Stop being such a stubborn jerk and just give the girl a ride home? Ok? Can you do that without you're ego getting in the way? Huh? Eli? I'm not asking! I will tell dad if you don't…"

"Ok! Ok! I'll be there in 30 minutes!" he said, and hung up.

Jessie sighed and put the phone down, "both so stubborn!" she muttered, standing up and heading back into the dining room, to change the table setting to 3.

* * *

Grace kept her eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead, not once turning to look at Eli, who's hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

"Radio?" he asked, through gritted teeth.

Grace didn't even bat an eyelash.

Eli huffed and turned mute again; Jessie had obviously lied about Grace knowing it was her fault….she clearly had no idea!

Grace looked over at the speedo quickly, and then back to the road, "you're speeding….slow down!" she insisted, coldly.

Eli gripped the wheel harder, keeping at the same speed; he didn't say anything to her.

Grace sighed and crossed her arms over her chest; if he wanted to be a bad driver that was his fault!

Eli quickly looked over at her bitter face, and then back to the road; "you know how to push my buttons…you know that?" he finally spoke, with a flat tone.

Grace scoffed, and turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "Yeah? Well you have the egotistical jerk act down-pat…I can tell you that!"

Eli rolled his eyes and clenched his hands around the steering wheel, "Nice, Grace! Egotistical jerk? That's real sweet!…"

She looked back out at the road ahead, "Oh! I'm sorry, Eli…I quit being 'sweet' when you insultingly asked me how many men I have slept with…not that it was any of you're business…infact…you were way out of line with that question!"

Eli shook his head again, and opened his mouth, about to blast another comment at her, when he heard a loud siren, coming from behind.

Grace turned around, and saw the police car, indicating for Eli to pull over. She turned back around, "I do believe I told you to stop speeding…didn't I Mr. Egotistical jerk?" she asked sarcastically, turning to him with a told-you-so look.

Eli turned to her, and gave a small shake of his head, "don't!" he ordered, and wound his window down, as the officer approached.

Grace sat back in her seat with a smirk on her face as she listened to Eli lie through his teeth about not seeing any speed signs.

* * *

Eli pulled into the driveway, reaching for the ticket that was on the dashboard.

Grace was still grinning from ear to ear, but just as she reached for the door handle, Eli spoke sternly, stopping her from jumping out; "you had no right to ask me about…Isabelle…" he said.

Grace didn't turn to him, "well I'm sorry…but you had no right to do or say what you did either…"

Eli gave a small nod, "maybe not…but it was in the heat of the moment…and I'm….I'm…"

"Sorry?" she asked, turning to face him.

He gave a small nod, and looked away from her.

"Well I guess I kind of am aswell… " She spoke softly.

Eli gave another nod, and then let out a small laugh, "only you could get me that angry over something…"

Grace laughed aswell, "I guess I know you too well…."

Eli turned to her, "I guess you do," he said, quietly.

They held that gaze for the shortest time. But it was powerful; Grace looked into his eyes and saw a sadness that she couldn't explain. She didn't know if it was bought on by the 'touchy subject' of Isabelle…or by the reminder of what they both once had in each another…

Eli looked away, he felt uncomfortable being so vulnerable as he stared at Grace, "I really didn't see any speed signs,…" he said, motioning to the ticket.

Grace laughed, "yeah! Right!" she said, sarcastically.

Eli smiled, and reached for the door handle, "atleast we cleared some air today!" he said, as they both hopped out.

"And let off some steam!" Grace added, closing her car door.

"Feels good, don't it?" he asked, as they walked side by side to the front door.

Grace nodded, "yeah, it does!" she smiled, "but lets not let off anymore for a while…"

Eli nodded in agreement, "friends?" he asked, outstretching his hand.

Grace looked down at it, and then back at Eli, she didn't know why she asked…but something deep down was still gnawing at her…. "will you ever tell me about Isabelle?" she asked, quietly.

Eli looked at her, stunned, for a moment. And then he blinked, and withdrew his hand.

"I don't know if I could ever tell anyone about Isabelle…let alone you…" he spoke, not in a harsh tone, but in a soft, whimsical one, that let Grace know that the subject was close to his heart…to his soul even….

He didn't say anything else, only opened the front door and stepped inside.

Grace stood for a moment longer, silently cursing herself for being so nosy and asking the same dammed question again!

GRACE (shrugs) I don't know what part of me wants to know….my head or my heart….

She sighed, and stepped inside, closing the door after her.

GRACE my heart?…to know if he ever had what we had…or my head, to reason that it was really over between us…he moved on and found someone else…loved someone else?

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**  
I have been such a slack-ass! But life (mainly school) has been interfering with my writing and that sucks! I will try and sit down and write one or two more chapters over the next few days, to compensate for the lack-of writing I have submitted lately. SO SORRY!

Did we like this chapter? I'm sorry that the Eli/Grace fight was settled so easily, but I didn't want to drag out some passive-aggressive chapters…because I want to get my story across…and really dig into some new chapters….okey…until next time…bye bye!


	98. Chapter 98

"Grace, I am not going out there in this!"

Grace looked herself up and down in the mirror. She and Zoe were standing behind a large red, velvet curtain, trying on the bridesmaid dresses Jessie and Katie had picked for them.

They were especially….horrible….

An almost magenta colour, strapless corset top and long skirt. Grace's corset was too small, and her breasts were spilling over the top, whereas Zoe's corset was far too big for her 'underdeveloped' chest, and she had to keep pulling it up so it didn't slip all the way down.

"I could wear the top as a cute little skirt I guess?" Zoe said, examining the top in the mirror with a glimpse of hope.

Grace rolled her eyes, "I don't think even that would help,…" she murmured under her breath, as she tried to push down her emerging boobs.

"Hurry up ladies!" Jessie giggled outside.

"Grace!" Zoe stomped her foot again, and Grace turned around, cracking a small smile as Zoe struggled with the corset again, pulling it up practically to her chin.

"We just need the tops adjusted is all, Zoe…they'll look…." She thought for a moment, biting her lip "nice…that's it…they'll look nice…once the corset's are adjusted!"

Zoe rolled her eyes, "mine is done up as tight as it will go, and this was the smallest size!"

"Mine is the largest size they had!" Grace murmured, turning back to the mirror and raising an eyebrow at her bulging chest.

"You wanna lend me some of that?" Zoe asked, meaning Grace's breasts.

Grace rolled her eyes again, "you never know Zo…maybe you'll grow yourself a pair before the wedding…?"

"Ha! Ha!" Zoe said, sarcastically, "in 5 days time?…doubtful…very doubtful!"

"Are they on yet?" Jessie called out again, "can I come in and see?"

Grace hissed at Zoe to shut-up, before Jessie heard their sniggering, "No! Its ok! We'll come out and...err…parade?" she called, and Zoe punched her in the arm.

"I am not going out there in this!" she said, sternly.

Grace grabbed her arm, "yes you are…for Jessie and Katie!" she ordered, and pulled Zoe out from behind the curtain, dragging her out to the store where everyone was waiting for the girls.

Jessie lit up immediately, jumping to her feet and opening her arms to the girls, who awkwardly embraced her- well…not really embraced…Zoe was busy pulling her top up, and Grace was trying to push her breasts down.

"You look gorgeous!" Jessie said, becoming tearful as she released the girls.

"Radiant!" Karen added, standing up and circling them both, looking at the magenta dresses from all angles.

Lily remained silent, trying not to laugh as her poofy-dressed daughters stood before her.

"Lovely!" was all she added to the compliments. Grace and Zoe both scowled at her as she sat quietly giggling at them.

"My top needs to be smaller…" Zoe said, pulling it up to her chin again.

"Just a bit!" Karen said, trying to tighten the straps at the back.

"And mine is just a smidge too small…" Grace added.

"Nonsense!" Jessie exclaimed, "You look beautiful!"

Grace's face dropped…Jessie didn't seriously expect her to walk down the isle in a magenta dress that exposed her tits to all the guests!

"Just…one size?" she tried again.

"I think Jess is right!" Katie chimed in, "you look great!"

She walked to Jessie, slinking an arm around her middle and planting a quick kiss on her forehead.

Grace gave a small nod, "great, huh?" she said, looking down at her chest; her boobs practically hitting her in the face.

"Well…if you say so,…" she murmured, unconfidently.

By now, Lily was in stitches.

* * *

"E, does this look right?" Rick asked, turning to his son.

Eli examined his father's tie, "let me have a go…" he said, reaching up to adjust it.

Eli squinted and poked his tongue out as he tried to concentrate on the loops and knots, "I think that's how it goes,…" he murmured.

"No….that looks wrong…" Henry chimed in, watching as Eli fumbled with the black tie.

"Now go over and under…" Henry tried explaining to Eli, who still fumbled.

"Look at this….three grown men who cant even tie a knot…" Rick said, gulping for breath as Eli pulled it tight.

"Sorry, dad" he murmured, loosening it.

"You know…it's much sexier when a woman does it…" Henry smiled.

"Yeah…maybe Lily can work it out…" Eli agreed, stepping away.

"Thanks for the help!" Rick said, rolling his eyes and stepping out from the red curtain.

"Lil…can you help with this….?" He called.

Henry and Eli both laughed, and turned back to the mirror, adjusting the collars on their own black suits.

"Am I looking good?" Henry asked.

Eli nodded, "not as good as me…but you're up there…" he smiled, and Henry elbowed him in the side.

"Gentlemen…. please come out…" Karen called.

"Coming!" Henry replied, and he and Eli stepped out from behind the red curtain, and walked to the front of the shop.

"Oh! Savvy!" Karen beamed, leaning in for a kiss from Henry.

"Handsome!" Katie nodded at Eli, and Jessie agreed.

"Jessie…this one isn't much better…" Zoe called out, as she and Grace both emerged from behind the red curtain again, Zoe wearing a slightly smaller top, and Grace forced to wear the same sized too-small corset.

Eli's eyebrows shot up when he got an…eyeful of Grace…who turned instantly red when she saw him look away, and she started pushing her boobs down furiously.

"It'll do!" Jessie said.

"Ok….so I'm gonna take mine off…" Grace said, turning away from everyone, and ducking behind the curtain.

"Oh no Grace! We need measurements for the skirt!" Jessie called, running after her and pulling her back out.

"You look…." Eli said, looking her up and down, trying to avoid making direct eye contact with her hard-to-miss boobs, "nice!" he finished, unable to think of another word to describe the magenta dress.

"You too!" Grace murmured, crossing her arms over her chest.

Eli leaned in, so that Jessie couldn't hear him, "she just doesn't want you to take anything away from her on the big day…that's why she has stuck you in that pink up-chuck…."

Grace let out a small laugh, and Eli smiled; "but you pull it off…it doesn't look half as bad as you think it does!" he added, and gave her a quick wink.

"Miss…. come here please miss…" the sales assistant said, waving Grace over.

She turned to Eli with a small smile, "thankyou" she murmured, and then walked to the lady, who started fussing around her skirt, tucking it up here, loosening it there…. Eli watched as Grace twirled when the lady ordered her to, and sucked in when asked.

"You like?" Jessie whispered, creeping up on Eli.

He turned to her, a little startled; "I think maybe the top is a little too…err….revealing?" he mumbled.

Jessie let out a small laugh, "nonsense! She pulls it off fabulously!" she said, smiling.

Eli gave a small nod, "yeah…. I guess she does…" he murmured, and headed back behind the red curtain to get changed.

* * *

"Ok, I only have room for four people!" Lily announced as everyone headed outside.

"Zoe, Rick, Jessie and Katie are coming with me, right?" she asked.

Karen nodded, "Henry and I have a lunch date with some friends…"

"I promised dad and Tiffany I'd go out with them for lunch today!" Grace said, Eli instantly turned to her, "no problem….I'll drop you off and then drive myself home!"

Grace wanted to decline…she remembered what happened the last time she and Eli spent time together, but there was no one else.

"Take my car, Eli!" Rick said, throwing him the keys.

Eli caught them and turned to Grace, raising an eyebrow. "Ok" she murmured, "thankyou"

* * *

"So…I was thinking we should go out…." Eli started.

Grace turned to him, jaw dropped; what was he talking about?

GRACE err….ummm….pardon?

Eli turned to her, suddenly realizing what she must be thinking. He turned away, "out one night with Jessie and Katie….the night before the wedding or something….what do you think?" he ended quickly, and Grace relaxed…sort of.

Grace let out a small, embarrassed laugh; "oh! Go OUT!" she said, a little nervously.

Eli gave a small nod and flicked his indicator on, "yeah…to a restaurant, bar…anywhere…just to celebrate…"

Grace nodded aswell, "I think Jessie and Katie would really appreciate that!"

"It doesn't have to be too big…just a few drinks…. bit of dancing…." Eli added, turning into a street

"Eli wants to get down and jiggy with it?" Grace giggled, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey! You know me, I was a partier…."

Grace laughed again, "that was a while ago, Eli….I don't think you're capable of 'partying' like you used to?"

He turned and looked out her, "I can still par-tay!" he said, smiling.

Grace winked at him sarcastically, "I don't know…" she said, examining him in his sensible black pants and light blue shirt (tucked in), not to mention his boring shoes and slicked back hair, "you don't look like the kind of guy that knows how to let loose and have a good time anymore!"

Eli scoffed at her remark with a smile, "I've got moves you aint never seen before!…" he said, slowly, trying to sound deep and cool.

Grace nodded, unamused, "Oh….I'm…err….sure you do….Mr. business man with you're sensible shoes…" she said, with a laugh.

"What's wrong with my shoes?" Eli asked, feigning hurt.

Grace laughed again, and Eli pulled into her father's driveway.

"So, don't tell Jessie and Katie…but we'll take them out on the town the night before the wedding….ok?" he said, just before she got out.

Grace nodded, and opened the car door, "you better buy yourself some dancing shoes, Eli….cause us three know how to par-tay!" she said, mimicking how he'd said it before.

She closed the door and started walking towards the front door, Eli watching as she went, making sure she got inside ok, then he pulled out and started down the street again, heading home.

"I can still party…" he murmured to himself, going over their conversation in his head.

ELI cant I?

"Par-tay!" he corrected, with a small grin.

ELI sure I can!


	99. Chapter 99

On Tuesday, Jake asked Grace if she would prefer to stay with him, Tiffany and Domonique while the hectic wedding plans were in full force, with only four days to go.

She knew her father wasn't really 'asking' if she would prefer to, she knew that Lily must have dropped a hint to him the other day when he dropped her off at home. Probably mentioned something about needing Grace's room to store the mounting wedding gifts that were coming in by the truckload every day from overseas relatives who couldn't be at the ceremony.

She didn't know if her staying at her father's place was an inconvenience or not, and to be honest, she didn't really care. It seemed that in one day Jessie, Katie, Karen and Lily had all gone mental! It all happened once the bridesmaid and wedding dresses were officially chosen and fitted. Grace supposed it must have been a real hit of reality for the four of them…. this wedding was actually going ahead…it was really going to happen…. in 4 days!

When she had returned home from her father's, Jessie and Katie were staying the night to organize last minute preparations, which Lily would be helping them with.

Grace could still hear them downstairs until one in the morning, stomping around, making phone calls to guests who hadn't returned their invitations.

"Is it so hard to mail a goddam letter?" Jessie had muttered when Grace entered the kitchen that morning.

A few minutes later, Karen was knocking at the door, arriving to pick Jessie and Katie up so the three of them could go to the mall for some last minute shopping.

Next thing Grace knew, her father was calling her and inviting her to take up residence with him until the wedding was over.

"Err….ok….if its not too much hassle…?" Grace mumbled into the phone, still half asleep.

"Hassle? You're my baby girl! Of course you're no hassle!" Jake had replied, trying to sound enthused.

"Well then…great…that'd be really great…." She mumbled again, and then yawned for a moment, "thanks dad!" she added, sleepily.

Jake cleared his throat, "maybe Zoe should come and stay aswell…do you think?" he asked.

Grace rolled her eyes, desperate to get off the phone and pour herself a cup of coffee, "I'm sure she'd love to…this wedding stuff is getting to her aswell…."

"Hmm…I thought so…I mean, that's why I'm asking…."

"Ok….so, Zoe and I will be staying at you're place…." Grace announced, wanting to hurry the conversation along, "thanks a million dad!"

"No problem sweety….I love you!"

"Bye!" she said, impatiently, and hung the phone up.

"Thanks a million dad!"

Grace turned around when she heard Eli mimicking her pathetically enthused tone. He stood, grinning at her, already dressed, in khaki pants, a black shirt and black (sensible) boots.

Grace rolled her eyes and smiled, motioning towards the coffee.

"Love some, thanks!" Eli said, and Grace started pouring some for them both.

"What was that about?" he asked, taking a seat at the kitchen bench.

Grace shrugged, "Zoe and I are going to stay with my dad for a while…." She said.

"How longs a while?" Eli asked, watching as Grace poured the steaming liquid.

She shrugged again; "until this wedding is over…when things calm down around here…" she looked up and gave a small smile, "when I stop getting in the way…"

Eli gave a nod of understanding, "Ah!" he started, "you're room being used for storage of wedding gifts…. like toasters, microwaves, bathroom towels….and other useless junk?" he said, smiling.

She turned around and handed him a mug, and gave a small nod; "that'd be the main reason…"

"Well it's a good thing you getting out now…." He said, taking a sip.

"Whys that?" Grace asked, leaning against the bench.

"Because relatives start flying in tomorrow…. and will no doubt take up residence in every nook and cranny of this house!"

"Hmmmm" Grace murmured, taking a long sip of coffee, "good thing I'm getting out before the rush!…"

Eli drank from his mug for a moment, and then lowered it; "we're still on for the…" he began, and then looked past Grace, at Jessie who was entering the kitchen, "…for the tacos…right?" he asked.

Grace raised an eyebrow, "what the hell are you?.." she started, when Jessie came and stood beside her, looking from Grace to Eli and back again.

"Jessie!" Grace exclaimed, "we were just…" she started.

"Discussing tacos?" Jessie offered, suspiciously.

Eli gave a nod, "yes! Yes we were!" he tried, pathetically.

Grace rolled her eyes and cleared her throat; "tonight! Eli and I are going to have tacos tonight….as a special….goodbye meal…"

"Goodbye?" Jessie asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Grace set her coffee down, "Well, the thing is Jess…." Grace started, very solemnly, when Eli suddenly stood up with his coffee, "I'm going to get out of here…." He said, and headed out of the kitchen, his departure only adding to Jessie's suspicion.

"Grace! What's going on? What tacos? Who leaving?" Jessie asked, becoming a little annoyed.

Grace scowled at Eli as he left, "well, Jessie….I'm leaving….the…errr…..tacos…will be for me!"

GRACE (grits her teeth nervously)

"You're what!" Jessie repeated, astonished and slightly angry.

"Well, the thing is…. its so hectic around here at the moment….and I seem to just be getting in the way….which I really hate…and my father invited Zoe and I to stay with him until things cool down….after the wedding…" Grace started mumbling, helplessly.

"So your not going back to North Carolina, then!" Jessie exclaimed with a sigh of relief.

Grace creased her brow and shook her head, "of course not! I wouldn't miss this wedding for the world!"

Jessie flung her arms around Grace, hugging her tight; "good! Because I am loving that you're here!" she said, and pulled away, "and I'm sorry I have been so all-over-the-place with the wedding and everything!"

Grace raised a hand, "don't even apologize!" she smiled.

"JESSIE!" somebody called from upstairs.

Jessie closed her eyes for a moment, "I bet it's the skirt…I bet you it ripped….!" She murmured, more to herself.

She opened her eyes again, giving a sympathetic apology to Grace, again; "I'm going to have another busy day! I can just tell!" she mumbled, running out of the kitchen.

But before she bolted up the stairs, she yelled out; "and Grace! We hung the bridesmaid dresses in you're closet….that's ok with you….right?"

Grace grit her teeth, just the thought of having those magenta horrors in her room… "Fine!" she replied.

* * *

"You girls will have to share a room….." Jake mentioned calmly as he drove the girls home. He quickly looked in the rear-vision mirror to catch their reaction- it wasn't looking good.

"You're kidding, right?" Zoe exclaimed, a mortified look on he face, "Tell me you are kidding!"

Grace said nothing, only looked out the car window, trying to imagine what living with her sister for the next 5 days would be like…..it wasn't looking good….

Tiffany turned around, an apologetic look on her face, "sorry sweety! But we're renovating Grace's old room…..and the only spare is your's, Zoe…we are sorry!"

Grace turned to Tiffany and shrugged, "its fine….really!" she said, softly.

GRACE this is almost as bad as those cleavage magenta dresses!

"No its not!" Zoe retorted.

Grace shot her a silencing scowl, "it'll do…" Zoe muttered, turning away from her sister.

"Are you sure honey?" Tiffany asked, looking at Grace.

She nodded, "really…we don't mind at all….do we Zoe?" she asked, turning to Zoe who replied with a small head-nod.

Tiffany gave a weak smile and sat back in her seat. Tiffany was looking older, which was strange, because she was atleast 6 years younger than Grace's father…..she guessed little Domonique was a handful…sucking the life out of his mother. Grace shuddered slightly; she didn't want kids, not at all!

"Thankyou my dears!" Jake said, looking in the rear-vision mirror again.

* * *

"What about Michael and Lorraine?" Karen asked, scanning Jessie's phone book.

"I don't know…" Jessie murmured, "Katie?" she called.

Katie's head popped out from behind the kitchen door, "Michael and Lorraine?" Jessie asked.

"Err…don't think so…." Katie replied, and ducked back into the kitchen.

Karen shook her head as she reached for the phone and dialled their number, "is it so hard to reply to an invitation?" she muttered, "I mean really! Its just plain rude!"

Eli simply sat back and quietly picked at his bread-roll, watching as his mother and sister went slowly insane.

"Kerry is coming…right?" Jessie shouted out to Katie.

"Yes!" came the reply.

ELI I wonder what Grace is doing right now…. (staring into space)….maybe I'll call her and see if she wants to go out sometime….to organize Jessie and Katie's night out…..

Eli stood up, Jessie and his mother didn't even notice as he left the dining room, half his dinner still on his plate; "I'm going to have a shower" he said, over his shoulder, not that anyone was listening to him.

ELI its nice to come home and not have anyone care about you're existence….

He was just walking past Grace's room, boxes of wedding gifts piled in the corners, fat magenta dresses hanging in the open closet….when the phone rang.

Eli stood for a moment, looking inside her room, the ringing continuing….unsure if he should answer it…eventually his feet carried him forward, and he picked the phone up cautiously.

"Err…" he started.

"You slack-ass!" the other person, a female voice, screeched into the phone.

Eli opened his mouth, about to say something, when the anonymous female burst out into a full conversation with who she thought was Grace.

"So much for 'I'll call you tomorrow, Carol'!…geez! Is it so hard to call you're best friend and dish the dirt on family life!"

Eli held the phone close to his ear, about to open his mouth and clarify who he was….but the temptation was too sweet…. "well…err..." he started, in a slightly high-pitched voice (about as high-pitched as his dignity was willing to go)

Lucky the strange female cut him off before he had to actually string a sentence together in his pathetic girly-voice.

"You cow!…I forgive you….just tell me what's been happening!"

"errr….well…" he started again, suddenly realizing he was stuck.

"C'mon Gracie! Tell me about the luuuurve of you're life!"

Eli raised an eyebrow.

ELI luuuurve of her life?

"How has the delectable Eli been lately? Dish any more dirt about what's-her-face?" Carol asked, and didn't even wait for an answer, "is he still a stick in the mud with sensible, ugly shoes?" she laughed, expecting Grace to do the same…she didn't…and Carol panicked….so she talked some more.

ELI stick-in-the-mud?

"Do not tell me you guys….did something?" She started rambling, figuring she'd hurt Grace's feelings by dissing the guy she liked, "Did you and Eli…." Carol started, but somebody (not Grace!) cut her off.

"No! Grace and I didn't do anything…." Eli said, in his usual deep voice.

Carol sat bolt up right, her eyes wide and mortified; "oh….ummm….is this…..?"

"Eli Sammler speaking!" he said, in a stern voice. He heard this mysterious girl, 'Carol', start cussing something fierce under her breath.

"Oh…ummm…I am so sorry…I was trying to reach Gracie, I thought this was her….errr…private line?"

"It is….but she's staying at her father's now!"

"Oh-my-god!" Carol whined, desperately wanting to chicken out and just hang the phone up, "well….err…." she muttered.

"Want me to give her a message to call you?" Eli supplied for her.

"Yeah…would you? That'd be so great! Much appreciated!"

"Sure….and sorry you couldn't get through to Grace…." Eli said.

"Oh…not you're fault…."

"Sorry you got stuck talking to her stick-in-the-mud step-brother!" Eli added, and hung up abruptly.

While in North Carolina, Carol still held the phone to her ear, in such shock and dismay…..Grace was going to kill her!

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Hate me! You have every right to! I know I haven't updated in a century, and I am so sorry! But school has been hectic and I just couldn't find time! I will try harder! Sorry! Hope you enjoy this chapter!


	100. Chapter 100

_**Its going down tonight in this town  
Cause they stare and growl  
They all stare and growl  
I take a scar every time I cry  
Cause it aint my style no it aint my style  
Going down to the gravel head to the barrel  
Take this life and end this struggle  
Los Angeles come scam me please  
Emptiness never sleeps at Cliftons 6 am  
With your bag lady friend and your mind descending  
Stripped of the right to be a human in control  
Its warmer in hell so down we go**_

_**They say this is the city  
The city of angels  
All I see is dead wings**_

_**Its a ghost town rabid underworld  
Dionysian night vitriolic twilight  
A mirage comes up it never ends  
Once you get burnt you're never the same  
Left behind erased from time  
Aint no decency in being boxed up alive  
Look around aint no R. I. P. signs here  
We don't rest in peace  
We just disappear**_

_**So here we are Los Angeles  
No angels singing in your valley of unease  
I watch the sun roll down the pacific  
Over hookered sunset strip**_

_**There's a black moon tonight  
Aint shining down on the western neon lights**_

_**They say this is the city  
The city of angels  
All I see is nothing**_

"For Christ sake!" Grace mumbled, burying her head beneath her pillow, trying to drown out the thunderous noise coming from the other side of the room.

"Turn that bloody…..music…..down!" She snorted from under her pillow; surprising herself by how old and grumpy she sounded.

"Geez!" Zoe muttered, stomping over to where the thumping stereo sat on her dresser, "have a whinge!" she muttered under her breath, switching the off button.

"Christ almighty!" Grace exclaimed, still hiding beneath her pillow, "you are a nightmare!" she yelled.

"You're not the worlds best room-mate either!" Zoe snapped.

Grace emerged, looking up at her sister with a scowl on her face and mattered hair sticking to one side of her face, "I happen to know for a fact that I am a VERY pleasant room-mate, thankyou!" she replied, bitterly, half asleep and mostly annoyed.

Zoe, already dressed in medium-length red tartan skirt and long black sweater, hair spiked; stood with her hands on her hips, staring at Grace viciously. "Well I have some ground-breaking news for you, Grace!" she started, and then opened her mouth as wide as it would go, and let out a bellowing snore.

"I do not!" Grace gasped.

Zoe scoffed, "oh yes you do!"

"I do not snore! I have never snored, ever!" Grace said, defensively, sitting up.

Zoe shook her head, "I guess you're room-mate didn't want to hurt you're feelings!"

Grace narrowed her eyes, and got out of bed, hands on hips; "well…..you mutter in you're sleep!" she challenged.

"Oh really, what do I mutter?"

"Song lyrics…." Grace replied, raising an eyebrow, "mainly Britney and Christina…and occasionally some hansom!"

Zoe gasped, "you're a moron!" and stomped out of the room, slamming the door on her way out.

Grace sighed and ran a hand through her mattered hair; she knew she shouldn't have provoked Zoe like that…she'd only be mad at her now and that wouldn't do anyone and good….

GRACE but I don't snore!

"Grrrrr!" Grace mumbled under her breath, "I do not snore!" she added, before stomping out the room after Zoe.

* * *

Eli stumbled into the kitchen, still very much asleep; even after his shower and shave….but he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night…not with Lily, Katie, Jessie and his mother walking around downstairs, doing this and that.

"Morning, Eli!" Jessie chimed, handing him a mug of hot coffee.

Straight away, Eli knew something was wrong….

"Morning" he replied flatly.

"Pancakes?" Lily offered, motioning to the stove where some were already cooking.

Eli shook his head, "not for me thanks…."

"Then what do you want for breakfast?" Katie asked, standing up from where she sat at the breakfast table, "I'll make you anything you want….no problem at all!" she smiled.

Eli raised an eyebrow at the kitchen full of women, what was going on?

"Ok!" he sighed, setting his coffee down.

"What's up?"

"What do you mean, E?" Karen asked, refilling his mug that he'd only had a sip of.

"I mean…why are you being so…nice?" he asked again, wary.

Jessie bit her bottom lip and looked to Lily for help.

"What!" Eli asked again.

"Well….the thing is…." Jessie started.

"We love having you here!" Lily cut in, standing beside her stepdaughter.

"O-k" Eli said, slowly, "so…what is going on?"

"We really missed you!" Karen added, with a nod.

He looked from his mother, to Jessie, to Lily, to Katie and back again, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, "but…" he urged.

"But Aunt Susie and Uncle Roberts are coming down tonight….and you know them….so cheap….they refuse to stay in a hotel!" Jessie started rambling on.

"But we do love having you here!" Lily added.

Karen nodded, "Love having you here!" she encouraged.

"And then my grandmother and grandfather are coming down…..and, well….you know my parents don't approve of this marriage….so of course they wont let them say in their house…they tried to deter them from coming down from Massachusetts in the first place!" Katie added.

"So we want you to stay in a motel so we can give you're room away….well….give Zoe's room away to new tenants!" Jessie finally cut to the chase.

"You're father and I will gladly pay for the room!" Lily came in.

Karen nodded, "and you can come over for dinner at my house….." she said, "instead of going out…"

"Why can't I stay with you?" Eli asked his mother, a little bewildered.

"Well because you're aunt and her three kids are coming down here for the wedding….there would just be no room….and I know how much you'd hate having Steven, Kerri and Michelle around….they were always such handfuls!" Karen answered him, apologetically.

"You're kicking me out?" Eli asked, looking from his mother, to Jessie, to Lily, to Katie and back again.

ELI good to be home! Really! For the little time I stayed here….it was good to be back….

"No!" Lily answered quickly, "of course not!" Jessie added.

"Yes you are! First you shoved Grace and Zoe out….and now its me!" he exclaimed.

Just then, the front door burst open, and Grace stomped into the kitchen; "I cannot live in the same room as Zoe for another night!" she announced, but when she entered the kitchen, and noticed all the solemn faces…she silenced herself…..

"What!" she asked, stunned.

There was a long, heavy quiet.

"Well I can't!" she said, defensively.

Eli sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "fine!" he said, in a flat tone. He looked to Grace, her eyes wide and questioning, "we'll get a hotel room!" he said, and looked back to his mother.

"Excuse me?" Grace asked, bewildered.

"We've been booted out!" Eli explained, turning back to her, "there's nowhere else for us to go….and if you refuse to stay with Zoe at you're dads place….then a hotel is our only option!" he clarified.

There was a long paused of silence as Grace ran this through in her head. Trying to make a quick list of pros and cons.

GRACE share a hotel room with my ex boyfriend….or share a room with my head-banging sister…..?

"But we loved having you both here!" Lily tried again, Katie, Jessie and Karen all nodded in agreement, enthusiastically.

Eli and Grace turned and looked at one another- defeated.

* * *

"One room with two single beds, please!" Eli asked the tall, thin man at the counter.

"For how many nights, sir?"

"Just three, thankyou"

"Of course, we have a room available….with…..two single beds did you say?"

"Yes!" Grace and Eli both said in unison.

Grace looked away as she flushed red, and examined the two paintings hanging on the blue walls of the reception instead. One of a sea view, and the other of skyscrapers.

"Thankyou sir, and enjoy you're stay!" the man said, handing Eli a key.

"Thanks" Eli nodded, "ready?" he asked, turning to Grace.

"Yep" she said, picking her single suitcase up.

They walked down a hall, then up some stairs, down another hall, up a smaller flight of stairs, and arrived at room 235, Eli jingled the keys in the lock, and pushed the door open.

The room was small (as they both expected) with pale yellow walls, a television bolted to the dresser, two single beds with blue blankets and one fairly decent closet.

Grace inspected the bathroom straight away, while Eli lifted her suitcase and his, onto the beds.

"What's it like?" he called out, unzipping his case.

Grace stepped back out, "decent enough!" she said, walking to the other side of the room, to look out the window.

They had a porch, which was surprising, but it was small, you could only just stand out there. Their view overlooked a surf and turf restaurant, and a bit of the highway. The curtains were thin material and blue, and the restaurant had a neon sign.

"We're going to get some light in this room, at night" Grace announced, closing the porch's sliding door.

"Doesn't bother me," Eli said, "I'm a pretty heavy sleeper"

Grace gave a small nod, and tucked her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, "me too…." She said, not because she was…but, just for the hell of it.

Grace stood, watching as Eli unpacked his suitcase; just watching him.

GRACE there's this tension between us…. its there…. even though sometimes we pretend its not, and for a little while everything between us seems normal…..but we both know its there…maybe it always will be….?

"This isn't going to be…..weird…is it?" Grace suddenly asked, and Eli turned around, avoiding her eyes.

"I don't think it has to be!" he replied, after a moment.

Grace gave a small nod and looked to the window, collecting her thoughts and wondering why she'd opened her mouth to ask such a thing (it would, no doubt, only add to the tension). She turned back to him with a nod and a smile, "good…." Was all she could think to say?

ELI what does she want me to do? I mean seriously….some sort of clue would be much appreciated! Because sometimes…I get the impression that I'd be more welcomed by her if I went and flung myself infront of peak hour traffic!

She nodded again and walked to her bed, and started hurriedly unpacking her suitcase, and hanging items of clothing up in the closet. Eli watched her for a moment, and then went back to his own unpacking.

ELI (sighs) and then sometimes….she looks at me and casually smiles…and I think….things between us are ok…considering! And I'm glad to still have her in my life….even if she has only just returned after 5 years…. Its just sort of….nice….to still have her….not like a normal ex that you just expect to toss away and never think of again….not that I meant to toss Grace away…..

"I hope you don't snore!" Eli laughed, trying to break the silence of the small, yellow room.

Grace stopped what she was doing and looked at him, partly in shock and partly in horror.

"What!" Eli asked, unknown to him what he had done.

Grace shook her head, "nothing!" she said, through clenched teeth, as she started rummaging through her bag again; she pulled out her toiletries and vanished into the bathroom.

Eli looked after her, in shock; what had he said? He was only kidding!

ELI and then there's that time again….when she seems to be better off without me, and I wonder why on earth we stepped back into each other's lives!


	101. Chapter 101

Lily stood beside Rick, holding his mug of coffee while he continued working on the white tarp.

"Will it all be ready by the big day?" Lily asked.

Rick looked up, and sighed. "I hope so….or Jessie will kill me!" he said, with a small smile.

Lily held the coffee out for him; he drank a little, glad for the warmth. It was 6:00, and getting fairly dark, with a small snip of cold air coming in.

"She really does appreciate this…." Lily said, wrapping her fingers around the mug.

Rick nodded, and went back to stretching out the tarp, "well….she's my little girl….I'd do it regardless…." He murmured.

Lily smiled, she loved this man…. always would, she knew.

"Did you get to say goodbye to Eli before he left?" she asked, taking a small sip of the coffee.

Rick nodded, "hmm….shame we didn't have room…" he murmured, "it was good having the whole family back….under the same roof….like…"

"Old times?" Lily supplied.

Rick looked up and nodded, "It was nice having all the kids here…with us…." He added, standing up straight again, looking into his wife's face.

But Lily turned away. Old age bought tears on so easily for her now…. she cried at the drop of a hat…. she cried especially, when Rick mentioned…. children.

"Lil?" he spoke softly, reaching out and smoothing her cheek with his rough, but warm hand.

She quickly swiped away fresh tears, and looked him in the eye with a forced smile that let him know she was ok…. but she wasn't.

"I know" was all he murmured, and she was glad that no words needed to be passed between them…he knew….and that alone made it easier.

LILY we tried….once the kids had packed up and left…the house was empty…which wasn't such a bad thing…because we could be together, and we love that. But it just felt right (sad laugh)….it felt right, probably because we both wanted it so badly.

RICK it seemed so easy to decide to have another child….we didn't even really need to talk about it….we just exchanged this look….and we both knew, instantly, what the other wanted. (sighs)…

"I'm ok" Lily murmured, reaching out and squeezing his hand, "lets not talk about it…not when Jessie's day is so close…." She murmured, and brought her lips close to his, kissing them quickly and softly.

"Soon!" Rick comforted, and Lily nodded, unsure, but she still nodded as though Rick was right. "Soon…" she repeated, and took his hand, "that's enough work for tonight…." she said, leading him into the house.

RICK (gets up off seat and walks out of shot)

LILY AND RICK (Rick walks in, taking a seat beside Lily…reaching out and taking her hand, they sit together, looking at one another…) soon (they both say, quietly)….

* * *

Grace unlocked the door, and stepped inside the hotel room. It was black, no light on, only the beam coming from the t.v screen as re-runs of the Brady Bunch played.

Eli was lying on the bed, half asleep, half enthralled in the Brady Bunch storyline….Marcia had just been hit with the football….it was a good episode….

"Hey" Grace said, peeling her brown jacket off and throwing it onto the bed.

"How was dinner at you're dads?" Eli asked, not looking away from the t.v

"Fine….Tiffany burnt the meat….Domonique splashed some ketchup on me…"

Eli looked over at Grace; she had a red stain on her turquoise top.

"But Zoe seemed happy to have a room to herself…." She added, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

Eli nodded, turning back to the television.

"How was you're mum's?" she asked.

"Kerri and Michelle had a fight over the computer….there was a lot of screaming and stomping…." He said, simply.

"You're cousins?" Grace asked, and Eli nodded.

They sat in silence for a moment, the cued applause on the t.v filling the hotel room.

"Surf and Turf tomorrow night?" Eli asked, turning to her, and Grace nodded in agreement, "sounds good…." She said.

And they sat for another moment.

"Marica!" Carol called out on the t.v, "its time for school". Marcia came sulking down the stairs with a bandage on her nose and her arms crossed, the audience was cued to laugh again, and their noise filled the room.

"Well…. I'm going to have a shower…." Grace announced, standing up. She had never been a big Brady Bunch fan…. and Marcia was her least-favourite character. She liked Jan.

Eli watched as she walked into the bathroom, she was clearly bored with her mundane evening, and he wondered what sorts of things she'd do on campus…. what her evenings were like…. parties, drinking, music…. guys?

He creased his brow and tried to concentrate on the storyline…but his mind drifted again….

That Carol girl had called him a stick-in-the-mud, is that how Grace had described him to her friend? A boring, sensible shoe-wearing, stick-in-the-mud? Probably!

He hadn't told Grace about the phone call…. he wanted to mention it subtly, at the right time…. or wait for her to get in contact with Carol, and let the embarrassment sink in!

Or maybe he could prove her wrong….take her for a night out on the town….show her a really good time…..get some drinks at a nice bar…..listen to some music…..that'd prove that he wasn't a stick-in-the-mud!

He suddenly found that he was asking himself; 'what would the old Eli have done?'…

Well…the old Eli…the Eli who wore torn jeans, dirty sneakers and had spiked dyed hair would have taken her to a new club where a hot band was playing some loud music…would have bought her a few drinks….danced with her….or watched while she danced…..the old Eli would have shown her a good time.

The bathroom door opened and Grace came out, wet hair, wearing green pyjamas. She gave him a small smile, as she opened the closet and put her clothes away.

ELI the old Eli would have shown her a good time….

He debated whether or not he should order her to get dressed, take her by the hand, run out the door, get in his car and go cruising for a good club…..find one with some loud rock band playing, step inside and find a quiet booth somewhere, order some drinks…talk and dance the night away? That's what the old Eli would have done!

Grace turned around, towel-drying her hair as she watched the t.v.

Then she ducked back into the bathroom, and Eli could hear as the blow dryer was going for a minute or so. When she came out, her hair was dry and straight.

"Well….I guess I'll get off to sleep then…" she said, in a lifeless tone.

Eli nodded, still debating whether or not they should go out.

She untucked the covers and hoped in, rolling this way and that for a moment, trying to get comfortable, but eventually closing her eyes, blocking out Marcia's annoying, whiney voice.

Eli sat up, "you want to go out?" he suddenly asked, with a small, brave smile on his face.

He looked over at Grace's sleeping body, and sighed, the smile gone now…..

"Never mind!" he said, and picked the remote up, flipping through the channels….

ELI the old Eli would be dancing the night away right now….I guess….the old Eli doesn't exist anymore…..

* * *

Eli got a business call on his cell at around 3:00 in the morning….he hadn't been kidding when he'd said he was a heavy sleeper…..Grace had to get out of bed, walk over to his side, and shake him quiet furiously before he even batted an eyelid.

"Eli!" she grunted, shaking him, "Wake up! Phone!"

"Hmmmmm?" he murmured, rolling over.

"Phone!" she said, angrily.

"Isabelle?" he mumbled, and Grace stopped shaking him.

She stood, in slight shock for a moment….but then the phone's tenacious ringing continued, so she took it upon herself to answer it.

Rifling through Eli's bag; shoving aside jocks, jumpers, shoes and pants….the neon glow of the surf and turf was still, for some reason, shining into their room, and it helped her find the little black mobile phone.

She held it to her ear, "hello?" she asked, groggily.

"Well hello! And who may this be?" a woman's voice asked.

It took Grace a moment to collect herself, "pardon? Who is this? This is Eli's mobile….." she stammered, and then yawned.

The woman cleared her throat, "ahem…. is Mr. Eli Sammler there, please young lady?"

Young lady? Grace already didn't like this female, "yeah….sure…." she mumbled, stumbling over to his bed.

"I hope you realize its 3:00 in the morning!" Grace said, bitterly….and then yawned again.

The women didn't say anything; she remained silent, waiting for Eli.

"Eli!" Grace said, shaking him again.

"Hmmmm?" he murmured, still in a deep sleep.

Grace yanked his blanket off, and hit him, lightly in the arm; "Eli!" she said, more aggressively.

"What!" he said….finally! signs of life!

"Phone….woman….wants to talk to you….sounds mean!" Grace muttered, shoving the phone in his face.

"Huh?" he said again, taking the phone from her, and slowly brining it to his ear.

"Hello?" Monica said.

"Mon….Monica?" Eli asked, yawning.

"Well hello Eli! That young lady was a fire-cracker!"

"What? What young…..oh! You mean Grace?"

"Grace….hmmm….haven't heard you mention a Grace before….."

By now, Grace was back in bed, snuggled beneath the covers….but still half listening to the conversation Eli was having.

"She's my…." Eli started to explain, when he realized what the time must be, "why the hell are you calling me at…" he looked over at the clock, "3:05?" he asked, angry.

Monica gave a small laugh, "I'm a night owl….forgive me!"

He sighed, then yawned, suddenly cautious of the sleeping Grace; "what do you want, Monica?" he whispered.

"I want to know how things are going with you…what ya up to?"

"Are you serious…. because if you are…. I am not happy!"

Monica sighed angrily; "don't leave me in the goddam dark, Eli! I am apart of this business aswell!"

"What are you talking about?"

ELI crazy…. crazy woman!

"I mean….somebody informed me that both owners of Booklovers….the original booklovers….live somewhere quite close to where you flew off to….infact…. I heard they live practically down the street!"

Eli sighed….she really was a stupid one!

"Of course they do, Monica! They are apart of my….step-family…" Eli said, not quite knowing what Judy and Jake's official names were, in relation to him.

Monica sighed again, "So who was the girl?"

"What!"

"Macy….."

"Grace!"

"Who is she?" Monica demanded.

"What the hell?" Eli muttered (was Monica actually jealous?)

"Who is she?"

"She is my…." Eli deliberated whether or not he should call Grace his ex, to fuel Monica's sudden jealous streak, or put her to rest and say she's his stepsister.

"She's my ex!"

"Ex? Ex what?"

"Ex….girlfriend….my ex-girlfriend!"

In the other bed, Grace's eyes widened; what the hell was he talking to this woman about!

"Are you…." Monica started, but Eli cut her off.

"Goodnight Monica….and don't call me again!" and he hung up, put his phone on the night stand, and lay down again, closing his eyes.

* * *

"In the arms of an angel fly away from here… from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear… you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie… you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there…"

Eli rolled over at the sound of a soft, delicate voice coming from the bathroom; a small smile crept across his lips as he secretly listened to Grace.

The bathroom door opened, and she stepped out, wearing jeans, and a towel wrapped around her top half.

"Morning" Eli murmured.

Grace jumped…and almost let go of the towel….she looked over at Eli, blushing.

"Morning!" she smiled, and rummaged through her suitcase, pulling out a yellow shirt.

"Nice singing…." He commented, sitting up and running a hand through his tousled hair.

She blushed redness, "thanks…." She said, warily.

"I didn't know you could…." He said, and Grace looked over at him questioningly.

"Sing that is… I didn't know you could sing…."

"Oh!" Grace said, with a nod, "well Carol is in the choir….she dragged me along to a few rehearsals…."

ELI Carol! The one that called me a stick-in-the-mud!

"Carol?" Eli asked, scratching his head.

"U-huh" Grace replied, looking for a black belt, "she's my room-mate….and best friend…."

"Oh! That's why that name is familiar!" Eli said, and Grace looked to him.

"She called you're private line…. I answered….and she said to ask you to call her….a-s-a-p!"

Grace nodded and bit her bottom lip, "Oh….thanks….for telling me…."

"Anytime!" Eli said, mischievously.

And smiled to himself once Grace ducked back into the bathroom.

* * *

Grace didn't even get a chance to step inside her house, when the door opened and Jessie practically came bolting out, her face flustered, panting slightly.

"Oh Grace!" she said, outstretching a hand and squeezing Grace's, "Thank god you are here!" she sighed, relieved and breathless.

"What's wrong?" Grace asked, not really too panicked by Jessie's anxious state.

"Oh!" Jessie sighed, dragging Grace onto the porch, over to the swing seat, and plopping herself down.

Grace took a seat next to her, and managed to get her hand back from Jessie's tense clasp; "it's just the relatives!" Jessie sighed, and brought a hand to her forehead, rubbing it the same way Grace's father does when he's doing his tax returns.

"What about the relatives?" Grace asked….trying to sound concerned…although she was really too tired and grumpy to have any real concern….and, truth be told, she was a little angry that she was kicked out of her own home!

"OH! Its as though they didn't know I was marrying Katie…a girl….well, they knew….I just suppose it's a shock for them to see us kiss and hug and those sorts of things….." Jessie sighed, cringing slightly.

"What!" Grace asked, trying to justify Jessie's ramblings.

Jessie sighed impatiently, "Well, Aunt Susie came into the kitchen last night, and saw Katie and I kissing…." Jessie started, sighing and rubbing her brow again, "and ever since then she's been casually mentioning how she's worried about her friend in Alabama and she thinks she should fly back to look after her…"

Grace nodded, trying hard to concentrate on Jessie's problem….but finding that she was just too utterly tired….and all she could do was muster up some cheesy, comforting words. "Well Jess….I'm sure its nothing personal….some people just aren't all that open minded…but I'm certain that in the end she'll remember why she came here in the first place and stay to see her niece happily wed….."

But Jessie didn't really seem to buy Grace's helpful words….instead she just nodded, slowly, looking down at her hands, brow creased….thinking hard about what Grace had just said.

JESSIE what if it all doesn't work out? What if being together and getting married are just two different concepts and we cant make the marriage work like we made out relationship work…what if Katie turns around one day and decides she doesn't want to be married to me anymore!

Grace waited for Jessie to say something….but she just sat there…nodding, looking at her hands, frowning….and suddenly Grace got very sick of it all and stood up.

"I need to speak to Carol!" she announced, heading inside, knowing that Jessie probably hadn't heard her and probably didn't care….she just sat there…nodding, rubbing her forehead…and Grace was just too tired for it all!

GRACE Eli's stupid mobile….stupid mean lady….stupid neon light! Stupid Aunt Susie!

In her room, boxes piled high in the corners of the room, her bed, which Aunt Susie had taken up, was unmade and her suitcases were lying at the foot of the bed, underwear and clothes strewn across them.

She dialled hew dorm number and fell back onto the bed, not caring that it was unmade and tangled.

"Hello?"

"Carol!" Grace beamed, relieving a smile across her lips.

"Grace!" Carol exclaimed loudly, and then hushed herself; "err….what's wrong? You ok? How are ya? What's happening?" she sounded….awkward…

Grace frowned, "what do you mean 'what's wrong'?…" she asked, and then smiled, "I'm just calling my best friend in the whole entire world to see how she is!" she added, and heard Carol sigh with relief; Eli obviously hadn't mentioned anything!

"I'm sorry I didn't call and tell you about my moving in with my dad…. you wouldn't believe what's happened…." Grace said, and didn't wait for Caro to guess; "Zoe and I were sharing a room at my dads…which we both hated….Eli got kicked out for the same reason as me….relatives needing a place to stay….so we….Eli and I… are both sharing a motel room!"

There was a silence on the other end that Grace didn't expect. She thought Carol was screech, then badger Grace for all the goss….but there was nothing….and Grace was slightly concerned.

"What's wrong!" She asked softly….thinking perhaps Carol had some bad news for her that she had wanted to share before Grace rudely burst in with this flimsy story about her and Eli sharing a room….but in reality, Carol was thinking to herself that if Grace and Eli were sharing a room….Eli was bound to tell her sooner or later, about their phone conversation…and it's probably be better if Grace heard it from her first….

"Oh….Grace…." Carol moaned, and then sighed, and then moaned again.

Grace sat up, her jaw dropped, panic slowly setting in; she had never heard her friend so…upset and exhausted before….

"What! What's happened!" Grace asked, trying to concentrate on her breathing.

Carol sighed again, and Grace thought to herself how annoyed she was with everyone sighing and being just plain 'high strung' lately….she thought how she much preferred coming home when there wasn't a wedding on which involved wedding planning….she liked coming home just be with her family and have fun and try and be young for a little while….

"Grace….I am so….so sorry!" Carol spoke with such sincerity and concern….Grace just knew that whatever she had done…it was very serious….

"What?…." Grace asked, slowly, preparing herself.

"Well…" Carol started, and went on to explain the entire fiasco; which really wasn't so bad, when you think about it….but still….Grace seemed upset.

GRACE (holds head in hands) why me? Why me?


	102. Chapter 102

"Evening!" Eli nodded as Grace stepped inside the motel room, throwing her handbag onto the bed and peeling her jacket off.

"Hey" she murmured dully, looking at him suspiciously and carefully as he flicked through some sheets of paper that were scattered on the only table in the small room.

"What's that!" Grace asked, sitting on the edge of her bed, studying him carefully still….he didn't look away from the papers as he answered her…

"I asked my assistant to fax me down some statistics and paper work for me to go over…." He murmured in concentration, and then looked to Grace with a half smile, "I may aswell make myself useful while I'm here…." He added.

Grace nodded, "you never stop, do you?" she asked, still wary of her words.

Eli looked at her again, thinking for a long minute, and then shrugged; "Yes….I guess so…." He answered.

Grace nodded and looked at the clock on the wall; it was 6:30, her stomach was growling…

"That's how I got to where I am, I guess," Eli mumbled.

"Pardon?" Grace asked, looking back at him again.

"Nothing" he said quickly, folding some papers.

GRACE well he hasn't mentioned it so far…. I wonder why…. I bet he's just waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring it up! Well… I'm not going to say anything until he does!

"We're going out tonight, right?" he asked, shoving the papers to the side of the desk and looking at her.

Grace nodded.

Eli thought Grace seemed a bit….lacking….tired….less-enthused? And he guessed it was because her mundane evenings were getting to her…..he thought he knew for certain that Grace usually went out every night and 'partied'….but he dare not ask her!

"Well….lets get dressed then?" he offered, and Grace stood up and walked into the bathroom, without saying anything.

GRACE not until he brings it up!

* * *

Grace broke her bread in half, but didn't eat either piece; just let both sit on her plate as she looked out at the half full restaurant.

Eli sipped his water, and then set it down, concentrating on Grace.

"So….penny for you're thoughts?" he asked, after a moment.

Grace quickly looked to him, unaware that he had been staring at her. And then she got the craziest feeling that he'd once asked her that before….penny for you're thoughts?…and she'd laughed at him…..but it must have been a long time ago…when they were….together.

Grace didn't say anything, just looked at her bread.

"If you're not hungry…." Eli started.

Grace looked to him and shook her head, "No, I am! I'm sorry….I'm just….tired and worn out" she murmured, knowing it was a lame answer.

Eli nodded, thinking what a broad answer that was.

"Who was that woman, last night?" Grace suddenly asked, and Eli stopped nodding.

She liked to do that, he thought….just spring questions on him out of nowhere…it caught him off guard, and he thought that he would have to learn to stay on his toes around her….he liked that.

He shrugged, "an associate out for my position".

Grace nodded, "you told her…" she said, and Eli didn't understand.

"Told her?…." he asked.

"That I was you're ex…"

Eli blinked and lifted his drink to his lips again, "I did" he said, and then drank.

"Why!" Grace asked.

Eli put his glass down, "I'm sorry…" he began, but Grace cut in, "don't be….I don't mind…. I just want to know if there was any specific reason…." She asked him.

Eli paused for a long moment, and then plunged in; "I slept with her once….it was a mistake…but I think she's hoping that something is there….she was jealous of who she thought you were…so I agitated her suspicions…."

"Why was it a mistake?"

ELI there are those questions again! Catching me off guard!

Eli shrugged and looked away, at a waiter taking a table's order…he didn't want to answer this.

But Grace didn't push him, she let the silence hang until a waiter came over and asked for their order. When he left, Eli looked to Grace, "It was after a….hard break-up….I was drunk….she was drunk….it was wrong and stupid of me…." He explained, simply.

Grace nodded.

GRACE after….Isabelle?

He could tell what she was thinking as she lazily looked out to the restaurant….and for some reason….he wanted to put her mind at ease.

"After Isabelle…" he answered, and Grace looked back, trying to hide her surprise.

"Oh" was all she said.

Eli nodded and waved a waiter over, ordering a Heineken. When the same waiter left to fetch Eli's beer, Grace gave a small nod and looked down at her hands, Eli studied her. She looked very pretty tonight. Long, wavy hair was out, framing her angelic, creamy face, her big brown eyes and perfect lips….he tried not to notice….but she looked….beautiful.

There was a single candle on their table, which illuminated her fine featured face….he didn't want to notice how beautiful she looked….

"You called me Isabelle last night" Grace suddenly said, and looked up at him, his embarrassed face as he averted his gaze.

"I did?" he asked, and Grace nodded; "when I tried to wake you up…you murmured her name…."

He didn't remember, he felt embarrassed…and vaguely scared?

"Sorry…" he mumbled.

Grace didn't say anything, just looked away.

The waiter bought Eli a beer, which he took a large swig of, wanting to numb his emotions tonight seemed like the smart thing to do….

ELI oh Christ!…(holds head in hands)

"Don't worry about it…" Grace murmured, sipping her water, wanting to relieve his embarrassment and the silence.

Eli set his beer down, it wasn't chilled the way he liked it….and looked at Grace, really studied her face, her averted eyes, full lips…..he tried not to….but she was there, sitting across from him, looking so tempting….and he couldn't believe he was thinking these things.

"Was there anyone else?" he suddenly asked…and straight away he wanted to take it back….hoping Grace hadn't heard him.

"Hmmm?" she murmured, looking back at him.

Eli shifted in his seat, looked away for a moment, and then clumsily back at Grace's waiting eyes; "Well…I had Isabelle…." He started "did you….did you meet anyone else?"

She blinked and gave a reassuring smile, "Sure I did…." She started, and Eli didn't like the feeling that answer bought to him.

"…I met some really great guys….I had one or two boyfriends….but…."

ELI but, what!

"….but none of them were anything like you…." She said so simply, as though it was an everyday thing to say to someone.

"Like me?" Eli repeated, thinking this situation they were suddenly in…this conversation…was bound to lead somewhere tonight….maybe somewhere neither of them should go?

Grace nodded, "…..you were the benchmark, Eli….every guy I met I compared to you….for a while…."

He raised his eyebrows, and Grace continued, her smile gone now.

"….until I realized that you were thousands of miles away….and we were both leading very different lives and that maybe…that was a good thing…."

"Its what you wanted!" Eli reminded her, painfully.

She nodded, "I know…."

GRACE maybe…. I wish I hadn't asked that of you now?

She opened her mouth, about to say more, when their food came, and the moment for questions was gone. They ate their meals in subdued silence. Occasionally making flimsy comments about the food, or the band that had started playing…..but, Eli still felt as though this evening was leading somewhere.

* * *

He was already in bed when Grace came out of the bathroom in her pyjamas. She gave him a quick smile and got into bed, rolling away from him; she felt uneasiness now….she could feel words on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to keep to herself…didn't want to say to him….

"Night!" he said.

"Goodnight" came her soft reply.

Eli switched his lamp off, and the only light I the room came from the blue and pink neon 'surf and turf' sign.

Eli looked up at the ceiling, and the blue and pink patterns the lights made….thinking….thinking about how much he suddenly wanted to know what Grace had become during those 5 yeas….thinking that he didn't want to go back to Philadelphia being 'none the wiser' about her.

And Grace lay awake thinking how much she wanted to tell him that she was wrong 5 years ago when she told him to stay away from her….forget her…and them. She wanted to tell him that she loved him for the longest time after he left….and he really was the 'benchmark' for every other boyfriend…..

He looked over to her turned away, sleeping body; and so quietly, whispered what he was thinking; "I want to know you!"

But Grace was awake, and in the stillness of the room, she heard his whisper and rolled over, seeing his shocked face. "Why?" she asked, not knowing where that response had emerged from.

He stammered for a moment, getting over his shock, and then answered her; "err…because….I err…." He cleared his throat, and rolled over onto his side, facing her, their beds not so far apart.

"Because I see you now….after so long….and you have changed into this amazing person…and I hate the idea of leaving this place in two days time, not having a clue about who you have become….."

"Who I've become?" Grace repeated, "Who says I'm still not the same person…. the girl you knew 5 years ago….?"

"You can't be," he answered, quietly.

Grace let out a whispered laugh, "who says?"

"No-one" he answered, "no-one needs to….I can see it for myself…."

"You can see that I've changed?" Grace asked, raising an eyebrow.

Eli smiled and gave a small nod, "the way you and feminine…..you never used to walk like that….."

"How did I used to walk?" Grace asked, with a laugh.

"One foot infront of the other…." He answered, and they both laughed for a moment, and then he answered her. "As though it wasn't completely clear where you were going….like you were just seeing where you're feet carried you…"

Grace bit her bottom lip, and listened as he went on.

"And the way you talk has changed aswell…..you used to just say you're opinion, firmly, wanting to change other people's minds….but now…it seems as though you understand what everyone else is saying and you take that into consideration when you speak…and you're words seem….softer…" he didn't know if it was the three bottles of Heineken that were making him speak so…poetically and truthfully…or if it was just being so close to Grace.

"You say it as though you studied my every move,…" she murmured.

"I did….I loved you….I wanted to know you…so I watched you…in awe!" he answered, and part of him wanted to take it back, straight away.

"A lot more has changed about me than just my voice and walk…."she mumbled.

"So you admit it…you have changed?"

Grace laughed, "well….of course I have….University does that to you….you grow up, experience things….and you change…."

"Well, I've changed aswell…."

"I know" Grace replied, a little sadly.

ELI stick in the mud now, huh?

"I'm sorry…." She suddenly added, and found herself apologizing before he'd even said anything.

"For what!" he asked

"What Carol said…"

ELI oh

"She was just being….Carol…you're not really a stick-in-the-mud!"

She heard him release a small sigh, and then ruffle his blankets slightly. He was wearing boxers and a white, loose t-shirt to bed. Grace could remember when she would rest beside him after making her fingers along his bare chest….and with that thought, came a deep longing that caught her by surprise.

"She was right though…." He suddenly announced, in a whisper, and Grace blinked, concentrating again.

"No…you're not….I'm sorry she said that…." Grace began again.

"Stop, Grace!" he snapped, his tone a little harsh; "I am…I know it….don't apologize for me…."

There was an eerie silence between them; the blue and pink neon light streaming into their room, illuminating Grace's face, who lay facing the window, and darkening Eli's face who was turned away from the window.

"So you told her about us…." He asked, slowly and uncomfortably.

Grace nodded, but wasn't sure if he could see her head movement, so she whispered; "yes…"

"Oh….and….what did she say?"

Grace shrugged and bit her bottom lip, "she thought it was all very romantic…."

Eli let out a small laugh, "not strange?" he asked.

Grace shook her head, "no…."

ELI I wonder what her lips would be like to kiss…..still the same as I remember?

Another long silence followed, and for a moment, Eli thought Grace had tired and drifted into sleep….but then she spoke again, and he was glad.

"I so badly want to know what happened between you and Isabelle…" she murmured, sounding slightly sleepy, "…..I've wanted to know, ever since my mum and Jessie first told me about you're engagement…."

He rolled onto his back, tucking one arm behind his head and staring up at the ceiling; feeling exhausted from this same topic of Isabelle; "what was it you wanted to know?" he asked.

"How you met….what she was like….what you're relationship was like…why it ended….how you proposed….everything!"

"You want to know about all that?" he asked, knowing he wouldn't answer any of those questions….

"Yes…"

ELI I wonder if she would let me kiss her….just to see….just to see what it's like…and then let it mean nothing….would that ever be possible between us? An innocent kiss?

"I think I'm a bit drunk…." Eli murmured, more to himself than the room.

"I do want to know…." Grace repeated herself.

"I don't want to talk about it…."

GRACE does he have to constantly avoid this subject? It only makes me want to know even more….and every time he refuses to discuss it….another questions pops into my head, that I'm just dying to ask!

Grace suddenly sat up in bed, looking across at Eli's body, a scowl on her face that she didn't think Eli could see too well, because of the bad light.

"Why cant you just trust me enough to tell me?" she exclaimed, her angry voice scratching at the silence of the room.

Eli rolled his head to the side and looked at her, wearing a tank top that exposed her lean, smooth shoulders, her full lips pursed and her big, dark eyes still clear in the darkness.

"Because I don't want to…." He said, simply.

ELI but I do want to…..(closes his eyes)

Grace sighed angrily, "so what do you want to do, Eli? Huh? Tell me!" she sighed again, "because I am sick of talking…you say you want to know me….but I get the distinct feeling that if I tell you anything….I wont get anything back in return! So….what do you want to do?" she asked again.

Eli sat up, slowly; tossing the blankets off himself…his eyes on Grace the whole time as he brought his legs to the side of the bed, and stood up. She said nothing, though she wanted to, she didn't, she just kept his eyes as he stared at her.

"I want to…" he murmured, taking a step towards her bed, looking down at her, into her eyes; and in the darkness, Grace blushed (she hoped he couldn't tell). "I want to…." He murmured again, standing so close to her, so close…so unbearably close… "I want to…" he said, for the third time, and then he did the simplest, and most dangerous thing in the world….he bent down, cupped her face in his hands, and kissed her lips….

ELI (opens his eyes)

GRACE (closes her eyes)

He was scared and gentle to begin with, holding her head loosely, kissing her softly, barely. But when he didn't feel her pull away, when he felt her hands reach up and caress his bare arms, he kissed her a little harder, a little more sure of himself….a little more certain of what he was doing….and the strange thing was….it felt natural….kissing Grace felt like….home? It didn't feel wrong, and when he slipped his tongue into her mouth, it felt even better….a sweet sensation he'd forgotten about.

And even stranger….was that Grace was thinking the same thing….

She pulled away for a moment, Eli still holding her head carefully, delicately in his hands, they connected eyes, and seemed at ask each other the same question; "are you sure?", they asked without speaking. They were both panting, looking into each other, their lips tingling with longing, and it all felt so surreal….as though they were both stepping into an unusual dream that felt strangely grounded….

Grace's hands rested against his arms, and then slipped down, tugging at the hem of his white t-shirt, she pulled it up, and Eli stepped away, pulling the rest up and over his head, tossing it to the ground, his bare chest revealed. She was surprised and revealed to see his chest was still firm and tempting, smooth and tanned.

Straight away he stepped back to Grace, connecting with her lips again; she fell back onto the bed, and Eli's body followed, landing ontop of her, still kissing her bone…back to her lips…all of it so wonderful.

She wrapped her legs around his middle, gently, and groaned as he kissed her collar bon again, his lips running across the sensitive skin.

ELI (blinks, looks bewildered)

But then, his lips became clumsy and short, kissing her neck quickly, and then pulling away, suspending himself above her, looking down into her eyes, her eyes that begged him to go on…but….he couldn't.

GRACE (eyes open abruptly)

"We cant,…" he murmured, lifting himself off of her body.

"We really can't…" he said again, struggling to stand.

Grace looked up at where Eli's body had just been, now gone, standing beside her bed, a look of remorse so deep in his face; "oh my god…" she murmured, so softly.

"I am…." He mumbled, reaching down and picking up his shirt, slipping it back on, "I am so sorry, Grace…." He said, looking down at her.

"I should have never…." He started again, "it was all my fault…I am so, sorry…"

She said nothing, only blinked, trying to remember what his lips felt like; it was only a second ago they had been kissing her…but she already forgot.

"I….I'm going for a walk….I'll leave you…I am so sorry!" he said again, picking up his pants that were draped over a chair, quickly slipping on some shoes, and heading for the door. His movements all so quick, that he was gone in a few seconds, leaving Grace in the room, alone.

"Oh…my….god" she whispered again, laying perfectly still…mortified, regretful, sad, angry…an entire thesaurus of emotions!


	103. Chapter 103

Grace sat at the edge of her bed, wearing jeans and a large, red sweater.

She looked awful…which was understandable seeming as she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep after Eli left….and early this morning, she stumbled out of bed, and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Her face was pale and her skin was clammy. Deep red rings had formed under her eyes, and she had to keep swallowing hard every so often to suppress the vomit that was waiting to regurgitate itself every time she thought of what she and Eli did…almost did…..would have done…had he not stopped himself….

GRACE it had never crossed my mind until he started kissing me….. and then….the whole idea seemed perfect and fit so well together…..until….he stopped….and I realized that it wasn't at all perfect….it would have just made things worse….worse than they are now!

The door to the motel opened, and Eli slowly, cautiously entered.

Grace didn't say anything, or turn to look at him, she simply stood up, walked to the television, switched it on, sat back down…and listened as the TV's noise drowned out any conversation Eli might have thought of having with her….

He could smell something rancid coming from the bathroom….it smelt like vomit….but he didn't say or ask anything, just sighed as he watched Grace's eyes fix stubbornly and firmly on the television.

He'd half hoped she wouldn't be here…..he thought, maybe she had packed her things last night and would take up residence with Jessie, or try and tough it out with Zoe again….but she hadn't….she was still here….

ELI I don't know….my heart and my mind weren't communicating with one another….and I kissed her….she kissed me back….we almost…..and then I stopped….because I don't want to hurt her.

Last night he'd asked the receptionist to call him a cab, which drove him a few minutes out of town, to a truck-stop diner where he'd ordered a black coffee, pancakes with syrup and an apple; all of which, he didn't eat….instead he just stared at the food, and thought about Grace…..and for a second or two…about Isabelle aswell.

Grace carefully looked at him from the corner of her eye. He looked as bad as she felt….which made her feel better….and worse at the same time.

GRACE is he that repulsed by what he almost did with me?

He opened his mouth, and a stale moan came out as he tried clearing his throat to speak; "Were you ok last night?" he asked, and instantly regretted asking such a broad question, which he knew Grace would interpret in the wrong way.

He cleared his throat again, "I mean….when I left…nothing happened…you were…ok?"

She nodded and said nothing, just stared at an infomercial on the television.

She didn't mention that she had been sick at around three in the morning…or that she couldn't sleep….tried calling Carol, but no-one answered…..and then watched reruns of Scooby Doo until six when her eyelids slowly closed, and then opened again at seven.

Eli just stood in the doorway of their motel room, looking careless and empty, tired and just plain hopeless…..he shifted his weight, looked at the TV, and then at Grace.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

She said nothing.

"Maybe we should talk?"

Still….nothing.

"Do you think it will help if we talk…about….last night?"

Silence.

"Maybe!"

Grace didn't look at him; she reached for the remote and turned the TV off abruptly, then she stood up, and started heading for the door.

Eli stepped aside to let her out, and as she brushed past him, she murmured a stern "no" and closed the door behind her.

She started trudging down the hallway; cursing herself for not being brave enough to stay and speak to Eli like a civilised person….to sort out their problems and misfortunes without hassle…for some reason…she had to make a big deal out of talking to him…

GRACE I am not a child anymore! I should be able to sort out my own problems maturely and quickly! ….and that's all last night was…. A mistake that turned into a problem, because I let it!

And, just as she was about to turn right back around, walk into their room, sit down on her bed, and talk to him, face to face, like adults…. she felt a hand grab her wrist, and turn her around.

Before she even had a second to stop and calculate what was happening; her lips were meeting Eli's again, soft and moist, as they pressed against hers, passionately and unflinchingly.

GRACE I should be able to sort my problems out in a civilised manner…. This is not a civilised manner!

She opened her eyes, and suddenly it all came rushing into her so quickly that she felt slightly dizzy.

She shoved Eli away, and gave a small gasp for breath.

"I……I am sorry…….." he murmured, now quivering and embarrassed as he stared at Grace, waiting for her to say something.

ELI this is just all so….stupid! Childish and stupid….like we're squabbling teenagers again! …I should know better…

She looked at him, fiercely, angrily….and then….her face softened, she rolled her eyes and turned away from him, running a hand exhaustingly through her hair.

"You seem to be saying that a lot lately….." she murmured, trying to breathe.

"That was…" he scratched the back of his neck, and frowned, confused; "…stupid….very stupid of me…" he finished.

She turned back to him, her head cocked to the side, an eyebrow raised; "ya think?"

They stared at one another for a long while…..holding each other's steady gaze, stony, unrevealing faces.

And then, they both cracked the smallest of smiles and sighed.

"Wow" Eli murmured, scratching his head again.

"Hmmm….wow….." Grace agreed, as she walked to the hallway's railing, leaning against it, staring at him, with a small smile.

Eli looked to her, and shook his head, sticking one hand into his pants pocket, he waited for her to start speaking….because right now….he was just too stunned and embarrassed to string a sentence together…

"Why are we even surprised?" Grace finally asked, and Eli shrugged, unsure of what she meant.

"I mean….of course something was bound to happen….you and I ….ex girlfriend and boyfriend…. It was just a matter of time….."

Eli gave a small nod and avoided looking Grace in the eye.

"I think I was a bit drunk last night aswell…." He murmured.

Grace scoffed, and rolled her eyes; "well thanks!"

He quickly looked to her; relieved to see she was smiling; joking. "Sorry…I didn't mean that….I just meant…it was probably a factor…."

She nodded and smiled, "probably…."

They stood, silently, for a moment or two; and then Eli spoke up.

"So…what now?" he asked, slowly.

She sighed, ran a hand carelessly through her hair again and shrugged.

Eli sighed aswell, and turned away from her, digging both hands into his pockets; "this is also stupid…." He murmured.

Grace looked at him, his back turned to her, the words came pouring out of her so quickly, she didn't even have time to blink; "there was a reason why you kissed me last night…and just now…"

He turned back around, not looking particularly surprised at what she'd just said; "there was," he declared.

Grace nodded, "why?" she asked.

Eli shrugged, "I wanted you" he said simply.

Grace nodded once and then looked away from him, across to the long stretch of black freeway beyond the pine trees with dashing colours travelling along. "That's not good enough, Eli".

He studied the side of her face, pouting red lips, long eyelashes and soft, white cheek. He suddenly had a memory of wiping a tear away for her and felt the sensation of her smooth cheek tingle in his fingers, like electricity, he felt the strong urge to reach out right now…

"You can't just…" Grace shook her head slightly, and turned to face him, catching his eyes in a moment of soft recollection, they looked at her lovingly, and suddenly the words caught in her throat.

"I wanted you" he said again, quieter this time, with a slightly shrug and a small, indefinable smile.

"You can't…" before she had time to finish, Eli had taken a step closer to her, reached out his hand and brushed her cheek. Inadvertently she leaned into his warm touch, his hand cupping her cheek; she closed her eyes and let herself melt with the comfort of this position.

"You can't do this…" she tried again, murmuring the words.

"I still want to" he whispered back, and before she had time to open her eyes, his lips had found hers again.

It felt like a lifetime before they broke apart, panting slightly for air. "Eli" Grace said as she opened her eyes, silently grateful to still see that look of soft love in his eyes as opposed to the horror she found in them last night.

"I want you" Eli said, his voice firm but low, "I want you right now, and I think you feel the same way…"

"But Eli, sex isn't just sex…. It's complicated, especially between us!"

"It doesn't have to be" somewhere deep down Eli knew that his desires were overpowering his better judgement; he knew that Grace was right and he was putting up a weak argument, but he couldn't push his lust aside. He wanted her, it was that simple.

"It doesn't have to be?" She echoed, creasing her brow as she looked into his eyes, and placed her hands flat against his chest, stopping him from leaning in for another long kiss.

"Let's just be together, right now?" he urged, reaching up wrapping his fingers around her wrists, gently bringing them down from where they lay on his chest.

"It means nothing?" Grace queried, accepting his rash, hard kiss. His lips moved down to her neck and she let out a moan, breaking her hands free and running them though his hair, pushing his lips harder against her collarbone.

Eli wrapped his arms around her, picking her up and carrying her back into the room where he reached out with his foot to kick the door closed.

They both feverishly started undressing each other.

"Do you have protection?" Grace asked, in between hard kisses and working Eli's best buckle.

He nodded yes and pulled her sweater off and over her head.

Crashing onto the bed insanity reigned. No more thinking was involved as they started exploring one another's bodies; retracing each other, triggering memories thought buried and fitting together again like jigsaw pieces… both trying to push aside the feeling that this moment felt more natural than anything else, that in each other's embrace, they both felt like they were home… something neither had really felt in 5 long years.


	104. Chapter 104

"Where have you two been?" Lily asked, as she heard Eli and Grace come in through the front door.

Lily wiped her hands on a tea towel and spun around to face them as they stood in the kitchen doorway.

Eli shrugged carelessly and headed to the bench, where a bowl sat with fresh cake mix, he dipped his finger in and brought it to his mouth.

Lily watched him carefully, slapping his hand away when he went back for a second helping.

"Well? Where have you been all morning?" she asked again, looking from Eli, who stood beside her, to Grace, who was still standing by the door.

"Well….we went for breakfast at the restaurant by our motel….and….there was a little wait for a table…." Grace said, a little uneasily.

Lily looked to her daughter, "you could have had breakfast here!" she declared, raising an eyebrow.

Eli looked at Grace, who quickly made eye contact with him as he mouthed the words 'good-cover!'

"Yeah…but…you look as though you've been really busy this morning!" Grace said, clearing her throat, and motioning to the fairly disgraceful kitchen.

Lily turned around, and grimaced at the mess, "hmmmm" she murmured, "Aunt Susie mentioned last night that she felt like a chocolate cake….so I started baking this morning…after she mentioned it during breakfast again…." Lily said, sighing, and rubbing her forehead.

Eli gave a small nod, "Yes….Aunt Susie and her chocolate cake fetish….used to drive mum crazy too…"

Lily sighed again and walked to the kitchen sink, throwing in a few plates and cups that were lying about the bench, "this house looks as though it's been hit by a bomb…." She muttered, as she started scrubbing.

Grace watched her mother for a moment, and then looked to Eli, who was looking questioningly at Grace, asking her what was wrong.

She gave a sad smile, and motioned towards the lounge room, asking him to leave.

He nodded, and walked to where she was standing, and, as he passed her through the door, his hand reached out and deliberately, softly, touched hers.

She smiled, and walked down to where her mother stood, washing. Grace reached out and lay a hand on Lily's shoulder, she didn't flinch.

"Mum….are you ok?" she asked, soothingly.

Lily said nothing, only gave a brisk nod and kept washing.

Grace looked down, at the dirty dishes in her mother's hands, as she dunked them beneath the grimy water.

"Mum…." She urged again, whispered this time.

LILY its hard….to keep going….some mornings I just want to roll over and never wake up…never have to feel (waves hands in small gestures)…empty…so….worthless?

Lily laughed her daughter's concern off, "Oh!" she muttered, letting the cup she held in her hand float to the bottom of the soapy water, "Jessie's wedding….its in 2 days!" she laughed, looking to Grace's sweet face, wanting to reach out and touch her daughter's soft cheek….but restraining herself.

"Things arr just a little….busy…its hard to keep up…." She finished; fishing around the sink for the cup she'd been cleaning.

Grace lowered her hand, but kept studying her mother's face; "have you been feeling ok?"

LILY (shakes head). When I had Zoe I thought; 'that's it! No more!'. I suppose I felt that way because of what Jake did….betrayed me the way he did after we'd had our second child….and then Rick came along …..we both just want something that's ours…(laughs)….oh….its hard to explain. But we both just so badly want a child….something of our own…..of our love….

Lily nodded lamely, and forced a smile; "just a mixture of anticipation and anxiety…that's all…. don't fuss…." She murmured, reaching for a tea towel to dry off a few of the plates.

Grace gave a small nod and forced a smile too, "why don't you leave this? I'll do it….you go and…sit down…take a nap…just relax for a while!"

Lily shook her head, "No….Susie's cake is still baking… I have to start lunch…Jessie needs me to go down and see the caterers today…."

Grace shushed her mother, forcibly taking the towel from her, "Mum….stop it, please? Just go upstairs and sleep for a while….I can do this, really!"

Lily was about to protest some more, but Grace's face was stern, and her eyes were kind, so she nodded and sighed, "ok…thankyou…" she murmured, rubbing a hand against her daughter's shoulder as she left the kitchen, "thankyou sweetie" she murmured again.

Grace nodded, and slowly started washing; running lukewarm water over the dishes, soap suds squelching between her fingers.

"Want some help?"

Grace didn't need to turn around, and gave a small smile and nodded, "thanks"

Eli stood beside her, dipping his hands into the sink, touching hers beneath the water, slipping together as they met while dunking plates and cups.

"Is Lily ok?" he asked after a moment.

Grace turned her head, and looked into his eyes, "I wish I knew…." She murmured, biting her bottom lip.

"Maybe it's just the wedding…"

"It shouldn't be causing her such anxiety….mum would normally love to help Jessie organize every little thing…."

"Maybe its just old age….?" Eli asked, cautiously.

Grace shrugged again, "I don't know….she wouldn't tell me…she wouldn't want to worry me…."

Eli searched beneath the soapsuds, and clasped Grace's hand; making her drop the cup she was washing, she continued to hold his gaze as he leaned in and kissed her, long and sweet, still holding her hand beneath the water.

When they pulled away, he held her gaze for a moment longer, their faces still close together, their hands still holding; "are _you _ok?" he asked this time, with a deep concern in his brow.

Grace didn't say anything for a moment; she looked into his green eyes, and allowed a soft sigh to escape her lips; "this feels surreal…." She whispered.

Eli gave a small smile, and squeezed her slippery hand, "it does…." He agreed in a murmur.

Their faces still close, Grace frowned sadly; "what's going to happen when this wedding is over….and this all has to end?"

Eli continued to play a sincere, warming smile across his lips, "we'll jump that hurdle when we come to it…" he whispered.

"When we come to it…in 2 days?" Grace asked, quietly, sadly.

Eli nodded, "until then…" he started, and brought his lips close to hers, "….I'm going to kiss you as often as possible…." He finished, colliding into her lips passionately.

"Lily? I'm back!" Came a shout from the front door.

Eli and Grace pulled away quickly, Eli taking his hands out of the sink and drying them with a tea towel.

"Where's you're mother?" Rick asked, standing in the kitchen doorway.

Grace looked up and gave a small smile, "upstairs….taking a little nap…."

Rick nodded, "oh ok….." he mumbled, looking to his son, who stood a few metres from Grace, standing a little awkwardly in the centre of the kitchen, "what are you kids doing tonight?" Rick asked.

Grace and Eli exchanged an anxious glance, remembering that they were going to take Katie and Jessie out for a night on the town.

"Out…." Eli replied.

Rick nodded, "out?"

"With Katie and Jessie…a little night of fun…" Grace added.

Rick nodded again, "fine, fine….I'm going to see Lil…..have fun tonight!" he said, over his shoulder, heading for the stairs.

* * *

"Lil?"

"Hmmmm….."

Rick brushed a strand of hair from his sleeping wives face.

"Lily?" he murmured again.

"Hmmm….Rick?"

He smiled, "resting up?" he asked.

She smiled, eyes still closed, she gave a small nod.

"Good!" he whispered softly.

Rick stood to his feet, about to leave his wife's bedside, when she outstretched a hand a touched his arm, he stopped, and turned to her again.

"Lil?"

"Rick….when this is all over…." She started.

"Hmm?"

"Lets really try….for a baby….I don't care what the tests say…..lets try….ok?"

He nodded, solemnly, "but Lil…" he tried, about to break it to her slowly that it just couldn't be. They'd had this discussion many times before; Lily just couldn't seem to accept their bad luck.

"Lets adopt Rick…." She murmured wearily, sleepily.

He said nothing, too shocked to think of a few words for Lily's sake.

"Maybe….maybe…." was all he said, to calm her, and send her back into sleep.

"I love you…" she whispered lastly as Rick slinked out of the room, half a smile on his lips, by the prospect, the very real prospect….of a child….


	105. Chapter 105

"This place is really great…" Katie smiled as she reached for her glass of water.

Jessie smiled and nodded, "it is…." She agreed.

GRACE (smiles unconvincingly) ….really great last evening of 'single-dom'

Eli stared into his drink, with a small smile forced on his lips; "so…big day tomorrow…." He started, looking up at Jessie and Katie who sat opposite him, "…nervous?"

Underneath the table, Katie reached over and squeezed Jessie's hand, "not a bit!" she smiled.

Jessie pulled her hand away, folding it in her lap, and shook her head slightly, "no…" was all she said.

Katie turned to her, but Jessie wouldn't meet her questioning eyes…so Katie let her resistance pass, thinking perhaps Jessie was tired…or anxious…?

KATIE (smiles wildly) this is all I have ever wanted! To be with the person I love forever…its finally going to be official… I am going to be marrying the woman of my dreams…. and I couldn't be happier!

Grace nodded and gave a small smile, "wow…. its all so surreal…." She said, even though in the back of her mind she was thinking how…ordinary this all was.

GRACE I mean…Jessie and Katie have been an old married couple from the moment they were 15….they've been together since forever! Its as though they're already married…so I don't see this as such a huge step…or a major revelation! .. Its just them getting it written down….cemented….no biggy!

Katie took a sip from her water, and then placed it back on the table, "so Eli…how did you find this place?" she asked, looking around the dimly lit pub, a soft tune was playing from speakers at the other end of the room.

Eli shrugged, "just driving around…." He murmured, taking a sip from his scotch.

Jessie looked around the pub; there was hardly anyone else there. A few couple scattered around the room, sitting at tables far away from them. A fairly large dance floor, that was empty….the place was actually quite…boring.

"Well I just love this place…its so nice and quiet…" Katie exclaimed, sipping her water again.

Jessie bit her bottom lip, restraining herself from mentioning how thoroughly bored she was…but she caught Grace looking at her…. and she guessed that her stepsister could sense her discomfort.

JESSIE its just going to be so official….Katie and I….married…forever…no questions about it?…I mean…I know everyone always presumed that we'd be together forever…but what if a few years from now…we grow into two very different people? Then what? It happened to my parents….who's to say it wont run in the family! Who's to say we wont file for divorce?

Grace reached for her glass of baileys, she took a long sip….the alcohol burning her throat slightly. She spluttered, and Eli's hand reached over and patted her back slightly, "whoa! You ok?" he asked, resting his hand on her back.

Grace feigned disgust, pushing her drink away, "fine…fine!" she said, waving him off.

"Wow…." She murmured, as her spluttering and mock coughing ceased, "I just need some air,…" she announced, rising from her seat.

She lay her eyes on Jessie, "mind coming with me?" she asked, and Jessie, reluctantly, stood, and walked out the front door with Grace.

"Ok…so get it off you're chest!" Grace said, turning to Jessie as they stood outside the entrance of the 'lonesome cowboy' (a name Grace thought was very tacky!)

Jessie hugged herself against the cold and shrugged, "nothing…I thought you needed air?" she asked, changing the topic.

Grace rolled her eyes, "don't blame Eli…. I don't think he gets out too often…and he just wanted to give you and Katie a special evening….he thinks this is fun!" she said, motioning to the pub.

Jessie half smiled, "yeah…I'm having a blast!…" she murmured.

"He was trying to be nice…." Grace tried.

"Its not that!" Jessie finally snapped.

"Oh! Its not?"

"No!….its…."

"What?" Grace urged.

Jessie turned away from Grace, "its…nothing…I'm fine…do you have enough air?"

Jessie took a few steps towards the door, but Grace outstretched a hand, stopping her; "I slept with Eli!" she announced.

Jessie's eyes nearly fell out, her mouth dropped, the hair on her arms were standing tall, "you what!"

Grace rolled her eyes and nodded, "I slept with Eli….it meant nothing…." She waved her announcement aside, "…I told you my secret…..what's your's?"

"I didn't make you tell me about you and Eli getting back together….I didn't have a clue anything was going on!"

"We're not 'back together'!" Grace said, sternly, "that's beside the point…what is bugging you!" she demanded.

Jessie turned away from her again, averting her eyes to the gravel ground; "I'm scared is all…."

Grace stared at her, mouth slightly agape, trying to search for a thoughtful and comforting reply.

Jessie turned back to her, "do you think I'm going to make a horrible wife for being scared to marry Katie?"

"What?" Was all Grace could think to say?

Jessie sighed, and ran a hand through her loose hair, "do you think that because I'm nervous about marrying Katie…It's a sign that I am going to make a bad wife? A bad partner….?"

Grace sighed, and bit her bottom lip…and then she sighed again….all of which did not sound very encouraging to Jessie.

"Jess…it makes sense that you're scared…."

"Scared?" Jessie spat, "I said I was _nervous_…not scared!"

Grace raised her eyebrow, and Jessie frowned; "ok…maybe a bit scared…."

Grace nodded, "this _nervous_ness wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the fact that you're the offspring of divorced parents…?"

Jessie avoided her eyes; "I guess you're the wrong person to talk to about it if that is the case…?"

Grace laughed, and scratched her head, "Yeah…I guess I am….!"

JESSIE I just need someone to tell me its going to be ok….

"But…" Grace started, walking towards Jessie, laying a hand on her shoulder, "if it's any help at all…. from one step-sister to another…. maybe you can take our parents bad examples and make use of them?"

Jessie looked at Grace and gave a small, unconvincing smile.

"I think one of the reasons my parents broke up was because of lack of communication…" Grace motioned to the front door of the pub.

"You're trying to be very delicate in saying that I should talk to Katie about this…. aren't you….?"

Grace smiled, "I'm sure she'd listen?"

Jessie nodded, and turned, about to head back inside.

"And Jessie…." Grace started, as they walked back inside, "I'm sure you will make a great wife….as will Katie!"

Jessie smiled, and when she reached their table again, she outstretched a hand to Katie, who looked at it with a raised eyebrow; "dance with me?" Jessie asked, motioning to the empty dance floor.

Katie looked up to her with a broad smile, placing her hand in Jessie's; they both walked to the dance floor, and started swaying to a new song.

"How about it?"

Grace looked down at Eli, who stood up, and took Grace's hand, "dance?" he asked, huskily.

Grace smiled and shook her head, "I don't…" she started, but Eli was already leading her onto the floor, and pressing his body up against hers.

**_I remember stormy weather  
The way the sky looks when it's cold  
And you were with me  
Content with walking  
So unaware of the world_**

"Katie…." Jessie started, pulling away slightly from their embrace, so she could look her in the eye.

"Hmm?"

"I love you….you know that…right?"

Katie laughed, "well yeah…I love you too….."

"I mean…I really…really love you…."

"Jess, what's wrong?"

**_Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I dont wanna feel alone  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go  
Tuesday morning  
In the dark  
I was finding out  
Who you are_**

Eli and Grace, Jessie and Katie, were the only couples dancing, everyone else ignored them, kept on with their evenings as though the dance floor were still empty.

"I hope Jessie doesn't ask questions…." Eli started.

"Don't worry….." Grace murmured, "I….sort of….told her…."

Eli was quiet for a moment, "what?" he finally asked.

Grace pulled away, looking into his face with earnestness, "I'm sorry….it was sort of a trade…my secret for hers…."

"And what was hers?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, he looked over to his sister and Katie, noticing they were sharing a conversation.

Grace leaned her head against Eli's chest again, "well then….it wouldn't be a secret if I told you…"

**_I took your picture  
While you were sleeping  
And then I paced around the room  
If I had known then  
That these things happen  
Would they have happened with you?_**

"Jess?" Katie urged.

Jessie looked down to their moving feet, and then back up at Katie; "I just want to apologise in advance…."

"For what?"

"Incase I turn out to be a bad wife… and you end up regretting ever marrying me…."

Katie didn't take Jessie's response as a joke, she looked at her seriously, with a creased brow.

"Where did that come from?" she asked, finally.

Jessie shrugged, and then sighed, "I don't know…"

"Yes you do! Or else you wouldn't have mentioned it….!"

Jessie bit her bottom lip, and looked to the floor again, "do you think maybe we should postpone the wedding….?"

Katie broke her embrace; she stood, staring at Jessie, her eyes wild and wanting to cry; "what?" she whispered croakily.

Jessie instantly wanted to take it back, "I'm sorry… forget I said anything…." She tried, reaching for Katie's hand.

Katie slapped her off, "no! What did you mean?"

"I meant…." Jessie looked away nervously, and before she had time to think of an answer, Katie was bolting for the door…Jessie quickly followed her.

**_Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I dont wanna feel alone  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go  
Tuesday morning  
In the dark  
I was finding out  
Who you are_**

"What?" Eli tried, as Jessie raced by them.

He and Grace broke their dance, looking after where the two girls had just run, "what's happening?…" he asked, turning to Grace.

She rubbed her forehead, "Jessie is just worried she's going to repeat family mistakes…"

"Oh no…" Eli murmured, and took a step towards the door, but Grace held him back.

"Its their wedding, Eli…..lets just go and sit down….wait for them…ok?"

He reluctantly nodded, and Grace led him back to the table.

**_And if you turned around to see me and I was gone  
You should have looked outside your window  
'Cause the sun was coming up  
The sun was coming up_**

**_Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I dont wanna feel alone  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go  
Tuesday morning  
In the dark  
I was finding out  
Who we are  
who we are_**

"Katie!" Jessie called, as she ran towards the car, where Katie stood, fumbling with her keys, trying to find the right one in the darkness.

"Katie!" Jessie called.

Katie dropped the keys, and quickly bent down to pick them up.

"I'm sorry!" Jessie sighed, standing before her as she stood up again, keys in hand.

"Where the hell is it?" Katie murmured angrily.

"Look….I was being stupid…you know me….I say stupid things when I'm…."

"Ya know what Jessie? I just want to go home and cry right now…." Katie said through clenched teeth, stuffing one of the keys into the lock of the door, and then pulling it back out when it wouldn't turn.

"That was just such a dumb thing to say…." Jessie rambled on, wildly.

Katie ignored her, tears falling now, which made it even harder to determine which key was which.

"I don't want you to go….its all my fault…I'm sorry!"

"Dammit! Where is it?"

"KATIE!"

Finally, she sighed and reluctantly looked up, tears streaming now.

"I am scared….OK? _Scared_!"

Katie brushed a tear away, "what!" she asked, a little angrily.

"Scared! I am scared about you…about marrying you….I'm scared about tomorrow….and every day after tomorrow!"

"What does that mean!" Katie asked, flinging her arms in the air.

Jessie turned around, away from Katie….and then she looked back to her, rubbing her forehead as a tear escaped, "It means that I am afraid that…." She choked up, and wanted to stop herself…but Katie urged her…

"Jessie…right now I really want to get into this car and just….drive!" Katie declared, croakily, "….so unless you explain to me whatever the hell it is you are trying to say….you….you may not see me again for quite some time…because I am so upset…and totally prepared to just keep driving and never come back!"

"No!" Jessie mumbled through tears.

"Then tell me what you mean!" Katie yelled, throwing her hands in the air, and dropping the keys again.

"I mean that I am _scared!"_

"Of what!"

"Of _hurting_ you!" Jessie blurted, tears coming heavily now, down her cheeks. "I'm scared that I am going to hurt you the same way my parents hurt each other….I'm scared to death that one day you are going to turn around and decide that you don't love me anymore…..because of something that I did to you….I am scared that we wont work….for whatever reason…and I will lose the best thing I ever found in my life…_you_!"

Katie stared at Jessie, for the longest time. Her hollow, brown eyes, big and searching. Her bottom lip quivered, and more tears ran….and then she took a step forward, cupped Jessie's face with her hands, and kissed her….long and hard….

Jessie wrapped her arms clumsily around Katie, holding her tight….never wanting to let her go….they both cried…salty tears running down to their lips, tasting bitter on their tongues.

When they pulled away, Katie kept holding Jessie's face, brushing fingers lightly against her cheeks; "you and I are going to fight….we are going to hate each other some days….and most days we will love each other…." She gulped back tears, "…we're going to go through some tough times… and that's ok!" she smiled; "….because no matter how much we fight, disagree…bring each other to tears….we're still going to stick around….right? We aren't going to run away from us just because we have some bad days….we're going to keep coming back…." She quickly kissed Jessie's lips again, and then pulled back, still smiling; "because we'll _live_ for the good days!"

JESSIE its going to be ok…

* * *

"Do you think they're ok?" Eli asked, eyeing the front door….Katie and Jessie still hadn't appeared.

Grace nodded, "I'm sure…." She murmured, lifting her drink to her lips.

Eli looked at her, studied her as she took a sip.

"What?" Grace blushed, lowering her drink.

Eli shook his head, "nothing" he smiled.

"No! Tell me…what!"

He laughed and shook his head slightly, "I was just thinking….he replied, vaguely.

"About tomorrow?"

He nodded.

"Its pretty amazing….isn't it….Jessie and Katie!"

"How long they lasted?"

Grace nodded, and they sat in silence for a moment.

"Do you think we would have….?" Eli asked after a long time, he looked away from Grace.

"If you hadn't have left?" she asked, and he nodded.

She didn't say anything for the longest time, and then she sighed and gave a small smile; "I like to think that we would have…"

He looked back up with a smile aswell, "me too…" he replied.

Grace nodded, "and now?…"

"What?" he asked, surprised.

Grace shook her head, and sipped her drink again, when she lowered it she waved him away, "never mind!" she said.

"And now….do you think we'll last now?" he clarified.

She didn't say anything….and that scared him…

"I thought we were…nothing….?" He asked, slowly, "that's what we agreed….it means nothing….right?"

She gave a sad, unconvincing smile and nodded, "nothing…exactly…."

ELI nothing…

GRACE ….nothing

"Maybe we should get going…." Eli mentioned, looking to his watch.

Grace said nothing, only stood and hesitated before walking to the door.

"You said you wanted to know me…." She said, and Eli looked up at her….she wouldn't meet his gaze, only continued talking; "….well what I want to know about you is…how did she last for so long?" she finally looked down at him, into his eyes.

"What?"

"The illusive '_Isabelle_'….I want to know how it is that you two lasted so long….I want to know what her secret was…because from where I'm standing…it seems like you're a very hard person to hold onto…."

Grace walked quickly to the door, leaving Eli to stand slowly and follow her.

ELI it's a….long story….

And he couldn't help thinking, that just as things were getting better between them…..they got worse again…so quickly….in an instant!

And maybe the only way to end the cycle they seemed to always find themselves in….maybe he should just tell her about the illusive '_Isabelle'_…..

ELI (raises eyebrow questioningly)

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Song was Michelle Branch's 'Tuesday morning'.


	106. Chapter 106

**_Continuing on from the last chapter._**

* * *

There was a thoughtful silence in the car. Katie was driving, and Jessie was in the passenger seat, both were throwing small smiles to each other.

Eli and Grace were in the back, both staring out the window, to the dark streets they passed.

ELI how much longer can I keep my past a secret?

Eli turned to Grace, hoping she'd look at him….but she didn't…she continued to stare out the window, ignoring him, her anger probably building….

ELI…I suppose I could never tell her….or anybody for that matter….

He cleared his throat and looked to the front, "so…looking forward to tomorrow….?" He asked lamely.

Katie and Jessie shared a quick glance, and a wide smile; "yes!" Jessie beamed, without turning to her brother.

ELI so why do I get this feeling like…. I should tell her….as though I have to…to lift a weight….?

Grace looked to the front, ignoring Eli as he stared at her, "does the evening have to end like this?" she asked slowly, trying so hard not to turn and look Eli in the eye….afraid she might glare at him….

ELI is it because I want her to know me? To see me?

Jessie turned around to Grace, an eyebrow raised; "why?….what do you have in mind?…"

Grace gave a devious smile, "La La!" she replied, mischievously.

All at once, Katie and Jessie squealed, and Grace laughed; leaving Eli in the dark as to why they'd suddenly become hysterical.

"What's La La?" he asked, confused, feeling left out.

Grace ignored him, Katie looked in the rear-view mirror to answer him, "this great little club the three of us found last Christmas holidays….when Grace came down for a few weeks…." She said.

Eli nodded, "and…you want to go there…now?" he asked, clearly opposed to the idea.

"Eli…it's only 10:00!" Jessie replied with a smile and roll of her eyes.

Grace smiled aswell, "you're not done for the evening, are you?" she asked.

ELI but who's to say that once she knows….about what happened….she wont like what she sees?

Eli didn't want to be the party-pooper, so he smiled and shook his head, "of course not! Lets go to La La! It sounds like….err….fun!". He didn't mention that 10:00 was the time of night when he'd already been sound asleep for close to 3 hours….

"Good!" Grace said, glaring at him slightly, "I'm glad you're not too worn out….yet!"

* * *

"2 more shots, thanks!" Grace smiled at the bartender who handed her two small shots, and then made her way back to the table where Eli sat, slowly sipping his warm beer, looking out at the crowded dance floor….he was looking painfully out of place in the dimly lit, bursting club atmosphere. A loud Sean Paul song was playing, half naked bodies were crushing together….it wasn't very Eli…who sat perfectly still by the table, in his chord pants and blue shirt….not to mention the shoes.

Grace felt a bit more involved in the scene; she wore her favourite jeans, black books and a cute little white top with a black swirly print on it. Her hair was tied in a loose bun, and she'd put on a bit of Katie's red lipstick, and some of Jessie's eye shadow.

"Here!" she said, handing Eli a shot.

"Oh…no thanks…" he said, waving it aside.

Grace shrugged and placed it on the table, taking up a seat, "whatever…" she murmured, looking out to the dance floor. She spotted Jessie and Katie amidst the people, dancing closely together, the beat of the song pulsating through them. They looked great out there.

Eli took another sip from his drink and scanned the rest of the stuffy club. He spotted a group of women, who looked to be on a hens night, ogling some men at a near-by table who showed no interest…. probably because they were half the women's age….and the women were all quite drunk and loud.

He looked back to Grace, who was staring out at the dance floor. She'd quickly put on some makeup and looked gorgeous…. He wanted to talk to her….wanted to discuss the argument they'd had…but the music was so loud and she didn't seem to mind the silence between them….so he remained quiet, sipping his warm beer, and looked back to the dance floor.

That was when Eli spotted a guy, about his age, eyeing Grace. He didn't think she'd noticed the dusty blonde haired college student, but she must have, because when he turned back to her, she was smiling in his direction….and next thing Eli knew…the dusty blonde was walking to their table.

"HELLO!" the guy yelled above the music…Eli winced.

"HEY!" Grace replied with a smile.

The guy motioned towards the two shot glasses that were sitting on the table, Grace nodded, and the guy picked one up, knocking it back quickly and smiling when he placed it on the table again.

"DANCE WITH ME?" he yelled, and Grace laughed….

ELI she finds this funny?

"HOW DO YOU KNOW IM NOT WITH HIM?" she asked, yelling, and motioning towards Eli.

The guy looked at Eli, and gave an annoyingly sexy smile, and then he leaned in close to Grace; "CAUSE IF HE WAS WITH YOU….HE'D BE DANCING WITH YOU…I KNOW I WOULD!"

Eli rolled his eyes and sniggered, "GRACE…" Eli started, but Grace just gave him a look from the corner of her eye, and then nodded to the guy.

"NAME?" she asked.

"ERIC!" he replied, "YOU?"

"GRACE!"

"THAT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL…."

Eli rolled his eyes again and watched as 'Eric' led her down to the dance floor, "DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD?" he tried yelling out, but Grace ignored him, throwing a disinterested glance over her shoulder.

Eli sighed and watched them, as Eric placed his hands on Grace's hips and watched them move to the rhythm. Grace laughed…and Eli frowned….

"That's really beautiful…" he mimicked in a mutter.

He looked away, to the table of drunken hens….one of them, a woman in her 40's, wearing a bright, floral shirt, winked at Eli and waved for him to come over. He turned away, feeling blood rush to his cheeks.

"HEY! SEXY!" the woman called out, and Eli's blush increased. He stood up abruptly, heading towards the bar, he ordered another beer and a bloody Mary for Grace; hoping to tempt her with the drink, to get her away from Eric.

He sat back down, but the drunken 40-year-old hen was still giving him the eye; so he caught Grace's attention, by yelling out to her as loud as he could, and then held the drink up for her to see.

She nodded towards him, whispered something in Eric's ear, and headed back to Eli's table, leaving Eric dancing.

"Thanks" she murmured, taking the drink from him and sipping it.

They said nothing; Grace looked around the room, and noticed the old woman waving frantically at Eli.

"Go on…" Grace started, "…. dance with her…!"

Eli looked up to her, "I want to dance with you!" he yelled.

Grace pretended not to hear him; instead, she sculled the rest of the drink and ran away to find Eric again. Eli sighed, and shielded his face from the drunk.

"This is just great…" he murmured, under his breath.

* * *

Grace's moves were sluggish and clumsy. She knew she wasn't dancing sexily anymore….she knew how stupid she looked…trying to keep her footing. She came close to falling on her ass a few times, when her dance moves were too quick for her head to keep up with….luckily Eric had caught her everytime and propped her body up against his.

They'd been at the club for two hours now. Katie and Jessie had been dancing the whole time, and every once in a while heading outside for some air. And Eli still sat at the table…

"I need water…" Grace murmured.

"C'mon honey…keep dancing…." Eric replied loudly.

"No…I want to stop dancing…." She murmured again.

Eric didn't say anything, just kept her body propped up against his chest.

"I said…stop!" Grace suddenly yelled, finding some energy and co-ordination to shove him away.

"Fine! Stupid bitch!" Eric said, and stormed off across the dance floor to find a new girl to prop up.

Grace had to stand still for a moment, which was hard to do with so many bodies jumping around, shoving her here and there.

Eventually, Eli spotted her stumbling through the crowd. He leapt up from his seat and ran to her, taking her by the hand and trying to lead her out.

"Just…let me stop for a second…." She murmured, brining a hand to her head.

Eli sighed, "Come on!" he said, bending down, tucking one hand behind her legs and another against her back, cradling her in his arms and standing up again, adjusting her arms to rest around his neck, he took her out of the dance floor….and headed towards the front exit for some air.

He lowered her to her feet; she leaned against a wall and caught her breath.

"I only had a few drinks,…" she mumbled.

"Did Eric buy you some?" Eli asked, a little angrily.

She nodded and sighed, trying to control her breathing, "where is Eric anyway?" she asked lamely.

Eli rolled his eyes and laid a hand on her shoulder, trying to get a look at her face, "just….relax…breathe…you'll be ok!"

"I know I will!" she said, nodding slowly.

Eli leaned against the wall aswell, crossing his arms; he waited until Grace could stand without support.

"See….I'm ok…" she mumbled groggily.

Eli looked to her, trying so hard to stand on her own two feet…he felt embarrassed for her…

"Jesus Grace….did you have to do this tonight…of all nights?" he muttered.

"Do what!" Grace asked harshly, squinting up at him.

Eli rolled his eyes and sighed, turning his head away from her, "forget it!" he hissed, not wanting to explain anything to her in this drunken state.

"NO!" she demanded, "tell me! What did I do that was such a goddam inconvenience!"

Eli sighed again, angry this time, "what did you do?" he muttered to himself under his breath, and then he built up enough courage and anger to look her in the eye, "what did you do? You wanna know what you did?" he raised an eyebrow and she nodded pathetically.

"You walked right back into my life and I can't handle it! I can't handle you!"

She was stunned for a moment. Even in her drunken state, she knew what he was saying….she just couldn't really comprehend it….was that because she'd had way too much to drink? Or was Eli really not making sense?

"Wh….what?" she asked.

He sighed again and folded his arms tighter against the cold, "nothing…forget it…just….just….stop talking, ok?"

"No! Tell me exactly what the hell that meant!" she hissed, trying hard not to projectile-vomit.

He remained tight lipped for a moment…until Grace shoved him in the arm….and he was forced to turn back to her and frown…. "It means I was ok! I was getting over the whole Isabelle thing…I was right where I wanted to be in my career…and then you come in….and everything is….is…"

"Is what?" she demanded.

"Is…. mixed up…confused…. off-balance…..!"

"Well sorry!" she mumbled.

"Don't be!" Eli suddenly yelled back.

Grace huffed, steadied herself, and gave him an evil eye; "Jesus Eli!" she hissed angrily, "…. you cant handle me?….what the _hell _does that mean? It sounds like you want me to be _sorry_ for stepping back into you're life…and then you turn around and tell me not to be!….what in the hell does all that mean!"

"Nothing!" He yelled back, throwing his hands on the air, "it means…maybe I had too much to drink….and I don't know what I'm saying!"

"Too much to drink? HA! You use that excuse all the time!…like when you slept with me….you blamed that mistake on 'too much to drink' aswell!"

Eli was quiet for a moment, dead still, he stared at Grace's frowning face; "mistake?" he asked, slowly and huskily.

Grace turned away, clumsily tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "Yes….I'm beginning to think you and I ever rekindling what we once had was a mistake….a mistake we should have seen coming a mile away….!"

"A mistake?" he repeated, quietly again.

She looked him straight in the eye, a frown etched so deeply into her face; "YES! A _mistake_!" she yelled, and turned, heading for the entrance.

Eli looked to the ground. It was 12:30, and so dark out. There was a cool breeze and a large moon burning the night sky…but not a star in sight….

He didn't really take Grace's comments seriously….she was drunk after all, and probably wouldn't remember a word of what she'd said in the next couple of hours when she'd sobered up!

But still…. He felt like he needed to hold onto her…give her something back in order to make her stay with him…tell her something she was dying to know….?

ELI (looks up into camera with a stern face)

* * *

It was 1:00 as Katie pulled into the motel car park.

"You sure you can manage?" she asked, turning around to look at Eli in the back seat.

He glanced over at Grace, who was doubled over with a sour face…beginning to sober up…

"Yeah….I'll be fine…" he murmured, stepping out of the car and walking around to Grace's side to help her out.

"Thanks for a great evening guys!" Jessie smiled.

As the car pulled out, Jessie wound her window down, stuck her head out and yelled; "today is my wedding day!" as the car sped off.

Grace tried hard not to smile, afraid she might vomit, and Eli waved them goodbye.

"You want some help?" he asked, turning to her.

She looked up at the massive motel building before her, their room on the top floor…. "err….yah….maybe…." she grumbled.

Eli held her hand as she made her way up every gruelling step, moaning as her legs made the up and down motions seem unbearable, and she struggled to keep her balance….which wasn't easy….since she had a pounding at the side of her temples.

"Here we are…." Eli said, swinging their door open.

"Sleep…." Grace moaned, stumbling over to the bed, lowering herself down and curling up as tight as she could go.

Eli lifted the blanket from his own bed, and draped it over her. Then he took off her shoes, poured her a glass of water, and sat down on the side of her bed, neither saying anything for a while.

"You've never seen my dunk before…." She finally murmured from beneath the blanket.

"Sure I have…." He replied, slipping off his own shoes.

"Have you?" she asked, and then moaned, "god…I cant remember…. I can't even remember what day it is…."

"Jessie and Katie's wedding day…."

Grace moaned again, louder this time, and deeper.

Eli gave a small smile, "you'll be right…just sleep it off…"

"I feel awful"

He turned around, and looked at her small body, she was shielding her face with the blanket, "not much of a partier, hmmm?"

Grace was silent for a moment, "…not really…. I only drink like that when I'm really upset…"

"Really upset?"

Grace was quiet again, and then she cleared her sore throat; "look Eli…I am way too hung over to have a deep, profound conversation with you about the angst we are both feeling…. So let me just say that, yes, I am upset…. about you….about how you wont share anything with me…." She gave a small sigh and continued, "but I am pretty sure that I said some horrible things to you this evening…..and I am sorry for that…. I was upset and would just like to clear it up now by saying that I didn't mean anything and you shouldn't take it to heart….ok?"

He smiled, "ok…."

He reached a hand beneath the covers, tucking it down to reveal her face. Grace closed her eyes, and Eli ran a hand through her hair.

"I missed being with you…." He murmured.

"Hmmmm?" Grace replied groggily.

"For all those 5 years…I'm just realizing now how much I missed you…." He creased his brow as he studied her sleeping face.

"Oh…." Grace murmured.

"…I can see now what she meant…"

"What who meant?" Grace asked, sloppily, not really understanding what he was talking about…she drifted into a drunken sleep…

"Isabelle…." Eli replied, still touching her hair, running his fingers gently through it; "….she always told me something was missing with me….with us…..and now I understand what that meant…."

He still studied Grace's face, as he thought back….it wasn't so long ago another woman had been in his life….he'd been in love….or so he thought….and suddenly, all his memories of Isabelle came flooding back….and he couldn't help but tell them to the sleeping Grace….

"She was a writer….a children's book writer….she and her agent came in to discuss the book signing she was going to have at our store. Her agent had been running late, so she and I were left alone in my office for nearly half an hour…making idle chat…." Eli brought his hand away from Grace's face, running it through his own hair, he sighed and continued, half sure that Grace was still awake to hear all this.

"….Isabelle had this mass of red curls….and amazing blue eyes…..she had beautiful eyes…" he gave a sad laugh, it was the first time he'd ever laughed when recounting Isabelle….since they broke up.

"She was funny….we talked about this and that….and I found myself asking her out to dinner…..actually…." he laughed again, and sighed, "…. I was more begging her to come out to dinner with me! I was so sure she was married…or at least seeing someone!"

He turned back to Grace, feeling a bit guilty for speaking so highly of another woman in front of her, even though now, he knew for sure that she was asleep…soft, humming breaths escaping her lips as she slept soundly….but he still continued….and he didn't know why….maybe he just _had _to talk to someone about this….even if that someone wasn't listening.

"It was my second year in Philadelphia….I'd met woman….gone on dates….but nothing ever stuck…until Isabelle. We went out the following week…and she just blew me away…she was funny, intelligent, witty….she reminded me a lot of you…always keeping me on my feet. I ended up making another date with her….and from there….it just grew" he paused for a moment, looking down at his hands, "….I was happy with her, and I thought she was with me too….but she'd always say little things that kept me questioning. She always told me I didn't let her in….even when I thought I was….she mentioned a few times that she thought I was missing someone…. I told her I missed Jessie….because we were so close" he looked to Grace again, "but now I think it was you I was missing…."

"I loved Isabelle….even though our relationship was nothing what you and I had….it was very different…we didn't laugh as much….or at least I didn't" he sighed, heavily, "I wasn't fair to her, Grace. I didn't give her all of me, I kept her at a distance….even though she loved me….and I knew she did…very much…I feel guilty about it now…always keeping her at arms length"

Eli bit his bottom lip, and saw that his hands were shaking slightly; "after 12 months I could feel that we were coming to an end….but she loved me so much….I think that's why….why…." he started to choke up, but continued anyway, taking a small breath, "….why she became pregnant….I think she wanted to hold onto me and that was the only way that she could see how…"

He sighed heavily, and ran a hand through his hair. So glad that Grace wasn't awake to hear this.

"…When she told me…she could see in my face that I didn't want it. She asked me if I loved her, and I said that I did….but I know she didn't believe me….and I felt so bad…so I stupidly asked her to marry me…..you know what she said?" he turned to Grace and waited a moment, "…she ran into the bathroom and locked herself in there for an hour….I had to propose to her 10 times through the bathroom door…convince her that I did still love her and that I wanted the baby….and then she finally came out and accepted…."

"….We waited a few weeks before telling anyone….we announced the wedding…but not the baby… I told her to keep that a secret for a while. But you know….even with all that… a wedding and a kid….I still wanted to end it….I still felt like chucking it in with her and walking away…and she knew it….she started accusing me of not loving her, and pulling away from her…and the thing is…. I was…. I didn't want her or the baby. And that's what was so hard and terrible about it….when I got a phone call saying she was in the hospital…."

Eli was really trembling now, he felt hot tears in his eyes…but still kept speaking.

"….she'd had a miscarriage…started bleeding a few hours after I'd left for work that morning….I walked into that white room and saw her lying there. She'd been crying….and when she saw me….her face sort of…lit up"

he swiped at the tears, and kept going….

"She told me she'd lost the baby…and then she grabbed at me…held me close and cried into my shirt….but when she pulled away and looked up at me….she saw….she saw that slight relief….and that was it….she yelled and screamed at me….had a fit…told me to get out…..and I did…. I walked away….and….hard as it is to admit…. I was relieved…."

He looked to Grace, his eyes so watery . "I'm sorry now….I really am…I'd give anything to change it…." He whispered, swiping at the tears again.

ELI (crying into his hands) she loved me….and I didn't want her….

"I didn't want to hurt her the way I did….and I am so sorry….because I did love her….in the beginning…. I did….a part of me still does…."

He cried, even though Grace couldn't hear him…hadn't heard anything of his confessions.

He knew he'd have to tell her all later….he knew that she had to know….and he wondered if he'd be able to find the courage to re-tell his story.

He wondered if Grace would still feel the same way about him….once she found out what he had done….he didn't even want to live with himself….would she?


	107. Chapter 107

"Where is she?" Lily asked, rubbing her forehead.

"She'll be here…" Rick murmured, rubbing his hands together calmly, "….her plane is probably just late…or traffic is banked up…."

"Oh _god_!" Lily sighed, "…I hope it's not traffic…or else she'll never get here on time!"

Rick cleared his throat and silently cursed himself, "oh…well in that case…I'm positive traffic is just fine!"

Lily turned to him, "then _where_ is she?"

Rick muttered something in coherent, and stood up from the seat by the breakfast table, walking to Lily who stood by the sink, anxiously ringing her shawl and rubbing her forehead.

"Don't panic please, Lil," he asked, calmly, nuzzling her neck with his lips.

"I'm not worried!" Lily snapped.

Rick tucked an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek, "she will be here…she would never let Jessie down…"

"I know that!"

"So why are you so worried?"

"I'm not!"

Rick rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek again, "well good!"

"Yes…good….everything is good….great in fact!"

Just then, the front door opened, and slammed shut. A boisterous yell called out, "Where's my Bride to be!"

Lily and Rick shared a small smile, and made their way out to the front room, where Rick's mother stood, a small suitcase in hand, already dressed in a long flowing, baby blue dress and with a white rose in her hair.

"I'm ready to see my angel get married! Lets get this ceremony happening already!" she smiled.

Rick walked to her, enclosing his arms around his mother in a warm hug; "good to se you mum!" he murmured, and pulled away.

She looked to Lily, opened her arms to her in a gesture, "look at you! You get younger and younger every time I see you!" she smiled as Lily embraced her, "thank god you're here!" she murmured, and then pulled away, "Jessie wouldn't have gone through it without you sitting in the front row!" Lily smiled, relieved.

"Grandma!" Came a loud squeal from upstairs.

Jessie was still wearing her jeans and a too-big red t-shirt. Grace was halfway through pinning her hair up in an elegant bun, with a gardenia on the side.

"Don't wreck you're hair!" Grace called out from the bathroom, but Jessie was already racing down the stairs, half of her golden locks flopping about.

"_Jessie_!"

She and her grandmother collided in a sweet and frenzied hug. Jessie jumping up and down at the sight of her.

"I thought you wouldn't get here in time!" she squealed.

"I wouldn't miss this for the universe!" Grandma Sammler smiled, tucking the loose chunk of hair behind Jessie's ear.

"You look radiant!" she beamed.

Jessie rolled her eyes and looked down at herself, "I'm not even in my dress yet!"

"But still….you're glowing…." Her grandmother tut-tutted, "now….where on earth is you're big brother? I haven't seen him in a _decade_!"

"_ELI_!" Jessie screamed, looking up the stairs.

Zoe's bedroom door flung open, and Eli emerged in his black tux, hurriedly tying his tie. He walked past Grace, who was watching the commotion downstairs from the bathroom, they shared a momentary glance, and he kept walking.

"What? What?" he asked, annoyed, "what's with all the noise….?" When he got to the last step, he looked to Jessie, and then to his grandma, a broad smile crossing his lips.

"This is what all the noise is about!" Grandma Sammler said, pointing at herself.

"Oh….well that's ok then!" Eli smiled, embracing her in a long hug.

"You look good…" she said, examining him.

She reached up and ran a hand through his sensible, gelled hair; "I preferred the Mohawk!" she murmured.

"Oh well he wouldn't really fit in amongst all the suits at his office if he walked around looking like a punk-rocker!" Jessie smiled, punching him playfully in the arm.

Grandma gave a low murmur, "ah yes…you're a business man now….I forgot…." She said, the sound of disdain in her tone.

Eli gave a small nod, and looked her up and down, desperate to change the subject; "you look fantastic!" he smiled.

She ran a hand through her own hair, and gave a movie-star smile, "oh….this old thing? I just threw it on….you know!"

Jessie nodded and smiled, tucking an arm around her Grandmother's, "you have to come and see _my _dress!" she ordered, leading her up the stairs.

Lily and Rick watched them go, and then he leaned down and whispered in Lily's ear; "see…no problems….the day is going to go smoothly….you just see!"

* * *

"It's this great little dress that Katie just whipped up!" Jessie was rambling as she led her grandmother into Grace's room, where the dress was laid on the bed, ready for Jessie to slip into.

"Speaking of the other lovely bride…where is she?"

"Oh…we wanted to keep some tradition…so she's getting ready at my mum's house so that we don't see each other before the wedding!" Jessie smiled as she walked to the bed.

Her grandmother looked down at the fine silk, white backless dress; "oh Jessie…this is…."

"I know!" Jessie smiled, giddy with excitement. "We both designed it!" she added.

"This soon-to-be wife of your's is one talented lady…" grandma smiled, running her fingers along the dress lightly, "….you know I saw her little column in Teen Girl!"

"You read teen girl?" Jessie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well of course….I have to keep up with the times!…I even cut it out and stuck it in my photo album!"

There came a knock at the door, and both Jessie and Grandma turned to see Grace waiting patiently.

"And who is this?" Grandma asked, smiling sweetly.

"Oh Grandma….you know Grace! Lily's eldest! You've met her a dozen times!"

Grace stepped in, walking to the bed where Jessie and Grandma stood, "oh…..but you haven't seen me in a while" she murmured.

"No…no I most certainly have not…." Grandma Sammler smiled, taking Grace's hand and looking into her face, "….tell me darling….are you a model?"

Grace blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She was wearing her hideous brides-maid dress, and a black cardigan (to hide her chest)….she couldn't see how Grandma Sammler could come to the conclusion that she was a model in such a horrible outfit. She looked anything but!

"Ah….no….I'm a student….in Wilmington, North Carolina?"

"Oh….oh dear…well if you ever want to get started in the profession…I have a friend in Tokyo who could use you're face!"

Grace smiled and blushed, "I'll keep that in mind….thankyou…."

* * *

"Lily wants to know where the priest person is?" Eli said, walking towards his father, who was standing underneath the tent in the backyard, doing some last minute checks to make sure it was secure.

"Oh…..she's panicking that the ceremonial lady wont be here…..isn't she?"

"Big time! And the guests are starting to arrive….Aunt Susie says she feels like chocolate cake….."

Rick rolled his eyes, "she's had one too many if you ask go without one for a day!"

Eli laughed and stood beside his father, looking out at the rows of chairs and the raised platform where Jessie and Katie would soon be taking their vowels. Everything was pristine and beautiful. Just what is sister deserved…..

"I never thought I'd be going through a day like this…" Rick started.

"What? Seeing Jessie marry another woman?"

Rick cleared his throat, "well….no….they've been together so long….it feels like they're already married…."

Eli turned to his father.

"I meant…. I thought you'd be the first to get married…." Rick ended.

Eli looked to his feet, and stuck his hands in the pockets.

"It's a shame….what happened between you and that girl….Isabelle!" Rick started again, and Eli shifted his weight, "….such a nice young lady….you two looked good together…."

"Dad!" Eli cut in, and Rick turned to him.

"Oh…sorry son…" he said, patting his shoulder.

"It's ok…it's just…"

"They say time heals all wounds…" Rick cut in, and Eli turned to him.

"I think whoever thought that crap up has never had a woman break his heart…."

Eli turned away, "yeah" was all he could say.

Rick laid a hand on Eli's shoulder again, "someone else will come along…and you'll be glad that you waited for her….because she'll make all the pain you've gone through seem worth it….trust me….. I should know!"

There was a soft silence between them for a moment. Eli wallowed in his guilt, and then finally Rick cleared his throat "weddings starting in an hour…better go and make sure Lily hasn't lost her cool….", and he headed back inside.

ELI there aren't any words to explain how guilty I feel.

* * *

"Can I come in?" Grace asked, lightly tapping the door and opening it slowly.

"Yes" Jessie called.

Grace stepped inside her room, and looked to Jessie, who sat perfectly still on a stool, wearing her backless, silk dress; looking at herself in a full-length mirror.

"Katie just arrived with her grandparents…" Grace murmured.

Jessie gave a small nod, and smoother out her soft dress.

"How do I look?" she asked, without lifting her head.

Grace walked slowly towards Jessie; she examined her in the mirror.

"Let me see you're face…." She whispered.

Jessie looked up, a smile playing across her lips, her cheeks glowing with happiness.

"You look happy….in love….and happy!" Grace smiled.

"Good….because that's how I feel!"

"Girls? Can I come in?"

They both turned, and saw Karen, standing by the door.

"I'll wait for you downstairs Jess…." Grace murmured, and walked out the door, past Karen, who slowly crept towards her daughter.

"Katie's here honey…" she murmured.

Jessie looked to her mother and smiled, "well we better get started….", and moved, about to stand, when Karen rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Mum…?" Jessie started, looking up to her mother, who was wearing a flowing, soft yellow dress, her hair out and curly. She looked as though she was about to cry.

"I wasn't so supportive of you when you and Katie first started dating…" Karen started, croakily, "….I thought it was just a phase you were going through…something you'd snap out of, like you're anorexia"

She rubbed Jessie's shoulder softly, "…a small part of me hoped that you would snap out of it, that one day you'd turn around and decide to love a boy."

JESSIE (wearing her wedding dress, looks sadly into camera)

Karen brought a hand to her face, rubbing away a freshly fallen tear.

"But you're here now…. about to marry this beautiful, sweet girl, who I know you love…. and who loves you back with all her heart…and you both want to spend you're life together, and start a family"

JESSIE (takes a deep breath)

"….And I couldn't imagine you being happier than you are right now….or when you're with Katie…and just seeing you at this place in you're life, when you're willing to give all you have to one person….a woman…." She took a deep breath, "…I have never felt so proud to be you're mother…."

JESSIE (gives a small smile into the camera)

Jessie gulped back tears. She tried to think of something deep and profound to say to her mother….something that they would both remember as long as they lived, as a special mother-daughter moment that would define their relationship.

And then Jessie thought of the perfect word to make this moment, one they would both remember forever.

"…Thankyou…"

Karen brushed away tears, "…come on….lets get you married!"

She took Jessie's hand, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, they leaned their heads together, and made their way down to the garden, where Katie awaited.

* * *

Katie held Rick's hand as he led her down the aisle. Behind them, Jessie held onto Katie's grandfather's hand.

They both met at the end, and looked to one another. Katie's dress was light, with a lace skirt she'd designed herself. Katie's was longer, silk, and backless. Both girls wore a gardenia in their hair.

They held hands and smiled, then turned to the female priest, who started the ceremony.

"We are here today, to see these two women declare their undying love for one another…."

Grace and Zoe stood to the side, holding their flowers, dressed in their horribly ugly bridesmaid dresses.

Grace felt tears trickle down her cheek, and she could have sworn that she saw Zoe quickly swipe at her own eyes….?

Eli was by Jessie's side, holing the girls wedding bands in his hand, feeling his eyes water as they turned to one another and started professing their love.

Rick and Karen sat in the front row, with Katie's grandparents; Lily, Judy and Henry sitting behind them. Lily and Judy blubbering, Henry constantly having to burrow into his jacket pocket for a fresh tissue.

Karen reached over and squeezed Rick's hand, they both smiled up at their daughter and her wife.

RICK & KAREN (sitting side by side) that's our little girl….

"…You are now united as one…from now until forever…." Were the last words, and then Katie and Jessie leaned in and kissed one another, short and sweet.

"….may we have the wedding bands?…."

Eli wiped at his tears, and handed both gold bands to Jessie and Katie, who slipped them on one another.

"I love you…" Jessie whispered, slipping Katie's on.

"…I love you more…." Katie replied, with a smile.

KATIE & JESSIE (you only see their holding hands)


	108. Chapter 108

Champagne was flowing. Soft music was dwindling in the air. Fairy lights were twinkling. The sweet sound of laughter made for a warm atmosphere…. Jessie smiled as she looked out at her guests.

Her father and Aunt Susie were dancing, though Rick was having trouble getting his arms comfortably around her middle.

Lily and Judy were twirling one another on the dance floor….Sam Blue standing by, ready to sweep Judy off her feet.

Zoe was standing off to the side, arms crossed, wearing a big black leather jacket in an attempt to hide her god-awful dress that Lily wouldn't let her get changed out of, because she said she wanted photo's taken throughout the night.

Eli was standing beside Zoe, slowly sipping a drink, watching as Grace and Katie twirled around each other, laughing giddily.

After a moment, Katie noticed Jessie sitting down; she motioned towards her and Grace nodded- watching as Katie headed over to Jessie's table.

Grace walked off to the side, towards Zoe, tugging on her arm.

"Dance with me!" Grace pleaded.

Zoe waved her away, hugging herself tighter, "no" was all she murmured.

"Oh come on Zoe! Take off that biker jacket and come dance with me!…" Grace whined.

Zoe looked up to Eli, and then back to Grace; "dance with him…he looks like he's having a worse time than me!" Zoe motioned.

Eli cleared his throat, and shook his head, "err…I'm going to pass on that…" he mumbled, and bashfully walked away.

Grace watched him go, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear she turned slightly red.

"_Zoe_!" She said sternly, turning back to her sister. She tugged on Zoe's arm, hard, eventually pulling her onto the dance floor. For a moment, Zoe stood perfectly still, hugging herself passively, refusing to budge….but after Grace had danced around her a few times…she showed signs of rhythm.

"She turned into a gorgeous young woman…."

Eli almost jumped out of his skin when his Grandmother took a place beside him, where he stood off to the side of the floor, looking out.

He stood straight, cleared his throat and pretended to scan the floor; "who?" he asked dimly.

She rolled her eyes, and pointed wildly at Grace as she danced around Zoe.

Eli blushed, and pulled his grandma's hand back down, she laughed at his embarrassment.

"Don't you think?" she asked.

Eli sipped his drink and looked away, feigning disinterest; "I don't know…"

"Oh! Come on, E! Look at her…she is beautiful!" she scoffed, looking back to Grace, "….such a pretty face….who'd have guessed that shy, awkward teenager would blossom into such a beauty?…"

ELI I did

Eli murmured, "hmmm….I guess….I really can't comment!"

His grandmother looked to Eli for a moment, at his averted gaze, blushing cheeks….and then she looked to Grace, smiling a wide smile, her dark eyes dancing with delight, her wavy hair bouncing about her…..

Eli lifted his whisky to his lips again, but his grandmother stopped his hand before it could reach them; "you shouldn't be drinking something so vile…!" she said, sternly, snatching it from his hand. The drink splashed and some spilled.

Eli looked at her angrily, but she just stared back, calmly. "When was the last time you played?" she suddenly asked, and Eli was completely confused.

"What?" he asked, annoyed.

"Played you're music….on the guitar….when was the last time?" she asked again.

He reached for the drink, but she moved it away before his fingers could even touch the glass, he frowned; "a few years now….it was just a stupid hobby!" he replied.

"It would be nice if you were playing tonight….for you're sister!"

His frown deepened, "stop it!" he blurted, "I don't play anymore! You know that! …what's wrong with you?"

She tipped the drink upside down, the liquid splashing to the ground. Gone. Eli sighed angrily, and went to walk away, when she rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Your so sad these days…" she said, soothingly.

"What?" he asked, and tried to walk away again, but she wouldn't let him.

"…What happened to my grandson? The musician? ….all I see now is this sad businessman who hates his mediocre job and his mediocre life…and who needs a whisky in the morning and at night just to get him through the day!…"

Eli stared into her wrinkled face for a moment, her soft blue eyes looking out at him pitifully….looking at him as thought they could see right through him…..

He gave a slight shake of his head and pulled away, he headed inside….to get another whisky. His grandmother watched him go, sadly, she shook her head aswell.

* * *

"Was this wonderful?" Katie asked, whispering in Jessie's ear.

Jessie gave a small laugh, "Oh… I don't want it to end!".

Katie laughed aswell, tightened her grip around Jessie's waist, and spun her around; Jessie laughed. Her head light from the champagne.

"Well you know….it _doesn't_ have to end…." Katie said, once Jessie had stopped laughing.

"Ahhh…what do you mean?" Jessie asked, and Katie pulled away slightly, to look her in the face.

"What would you do if I said we had tickets to Hawaii?" she smiled deviously.

"…I'd say we couldn't possibly afford that…I'd say you were sweet but crazy…." Jessie said, seriousness covering her face.

Katie smiled, "ok….so what would you say if I told you my grandparents bought them for a week away…hotel booked and everything!"

Jessie gave a slight shake of her head, about to say that they couldn't possibly accept them…when Katie cut in; "…they're non-refundable! So we have to go!"

Jessie stared into Katie's luscious brown eyes for a moment. Katie was afraid she might very well still refuse the tickets…she knew how committed Jessie was to the youth centre….she might not want to be away from work for a week…and then Jessie smiled.

"I'd say….when are we leaving?"

Both girls squealed, and twirled around the dance floor one last time.

JESSIE AND KATIE (twirling around in their wedding dresses, laughing)

* * *

"So….how did it feel to give you're little girl away?" Lily asked, coming up behind Rick who was sitting down. Exhausted from his dancing with Susie.

Lily bent down and kissed his cheek, she draped her arms over his shoulders, and he reached up and took hold of one of her delicate hands, kissing it tenderly.

"I feel…very old and lucky…" he replied, slowly.

Lily gave a small laugh, and bent down to kiss his cheek again. Rick tightened his grip on her hand, and looked out to Jessie and Katie as they danced closely.

RICK (looks into camera as though he's just had a realization, he looks surprised) …when you find someone that you want to spend the rest of you're life with…you should spend that life together without regret…..make every dream come true for one another….every dream….

"I love you…." He whispered.

Lily removed her arms from his shoulders, pulling up a chair, she sat next to him, "I love you more…." She replied.

Rick suddenly turned to her, wide-eyed, frantic looking- he took her hands in his, and stared into her face.

"No…I _really _love you!"

Lily laughed, a little awkwardly, "and I love you too Rick….are you ok?"

He shook his head, and then closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again: "no no no! I _love _you! And I want to make you happy!"

"Rick…what is this about?"

"Its about me loving you and wanting to make you _happy_!'

"I am happy! You make me happy!"

"No! If you want another child….if that will make you happy…." He took a breath, and smiled, wildly, "….then lets adopt….lets have another child, Lily!"

Her eyes strained, they felt as though they were going to pop out- and then she exhaled, she didn't even realize she'd been holding her breath, "what?…well….is that what you want?"

"Yes!" he replied quickly, "god! Yes! That is what I want!"

She looked away for a moment, trying to control her breathing, "Rick…." She started.

"No! Lily….do you want another child?"

She nodded.

LIL more than _anything_!

RICK more than _anything_!

He leaned forward, and kissed her passionately on the lips. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against hers, raised a hand to her cheek, and brushed it softly, they both had tears in their eyes; "….then lets have another child…."

Lily broke into a croaky laugh, she gulped back tears of joy; "I love you!" she started to cry, and Rick kissed her again.

* * *

Grace walked into the kitchen. She opened the fridge door, and took out a bottle of water, when she heard a crash come from the living room.

She jumped in fright, and quickly ran into the room.

No lights were on, it was pitch black. But she could still make out a figure sitting on the couch….and when she heard the clanking of ice in a glass….she knew it was Eli.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, creeping forward.

He scoffed, "somebody burst my bubble…." He murmured.

"Sorry?" she replied, and he laughed.

"No….no….it wasn't you…." He said, and lifted the glass to his lips.

She crept forward again, and saw what the crash was. Eli's feet were propped up on the coffee table, they'd kicked off a picture frame of the family together, and it lay broken on the floor.

"Are you ok?" she asked, wandering around to the front of the couch, she looked at Eli, straining to see him in the dark.

"…Was I any good?" he asked, slowly.

Grace was silent for a moment, "at what?" she asked.

He gave a lazy smile, "….music…" was all he said.

Grace gave a small smile, and tucked a loose curl behind her ear; "yes…you were amazing…."

He nodded, and sipped his whisky again; "…. 'were' being the operative word there, right?"

Her smile disappeared, "well I don't know…why don't you pull the guitar out and strum a few notes…then I'll tell you if you've lost you're talent!"

He looked away, sipping his drink again, bitterly; "I don't play anymore…."

"Shame…." Grace murmured, and she headed back for the kitchen.

"Wait!" Eli called, "…where are you going? Stay!"

"You're drunk and miserable…I want to go back out there and celebrate….not stay here and listen to you wallow!" she mumbled over her shoulder, still walking towards the kitchen.

"I'm not drunk!" Eli called out, raising his glass; "…I'm just trying to prove a point!…."

Grace stopped walking, she was standing in the kitchen doorway, and she stopped. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, bit her bottom lip, and trudged back into the living room, hands on hips.

"To who?" she asked, breathlessly.

Eli sipped the last of his whisky, and leaned forward to place the empty glass back on the coffee table in front of him.

"…Everyone…" he said, leaning back, closing his eyes.

Grace creased her brow, and stood behind the couch, looking down at Eli; "what does _that_ mean?" she asked.

Eli let out a hoarse laugh, and brought a hand to his face, rubbing his brow, he laughed; "….oh! It means….everyone…I am a man proving himself to _everyone_!"

Grace rolled her eyes and stared down at his face; "Eli….are you ok?" she asked, her voice softening.

He didn't open his eyes, but he let out another gruff laugh; "no" was all he said, in a happy sort of way.

Grace sighed, she hesitated before moving back around to the front of the couch and taking a seat beside him; she really wanted to get back to the party….but she couldn't leave him here…no doubt Rick or her mother would come in ….see Eli drunk….Grace didn't want that to happen.

"Eli? Maybe I should call you a cab….or you could go upstairs and lie down for a while….would you like that?" she asked, soothingly, resting a hand on his knee, trying to get him to open his eyes and look at her.

He shook his head slightly, "No…no….I'm happy sitting right here…with you" he murmured.

Grace bit her bottom lip; "maybe I should have another whisky?" Eli asked, and Grace patted his knee gently, "I think that's the last thing you need!" she replied.

Eli opened his eyes, and slowly turned his head to look at Grace; "….you look really sexy tonight…." He mumbled.

GRACE Great! A drunken come-on….

"Whoa there!" Grace said, removing her hand, "….don't even think about it!…." She warned.

Eli gave a stupid smile, and reached his own hand over to rest on Grace's knee, "what?" he asked.

Grace shook her head, desperate to take his mind off of his wandering, drunken thoughts; "what were you trying to prove?" she whispered, slowly moving his hand away as she spoke.

Eli laughed again, "….that I can go without a whisky for one night!"

Grace looked to the empty glass, and back to Eli, with a raised eyebrow.

He shrugged, "I got thirsty…." He muttered.

Grace gave a slow nod, "…maybe I should call you a cab…"

"She said I was sad…." Eli continued.

"What?" Grace asked, creasing her brow, trying to understand his ramblings.

"…Because I don't play my music anymore…" he scoffed, "…as if that was the be all and end all, for Christ sake!"

"Who said?…." Grace tried, but Eli cut her off.

"…Just another guy with a mediocre life and a mediocre job…that's what she said…."

"Who?" Grace tried again.

Eli gave a loud laugh, "my own grandmother!" he finally answered her, in hysterics.

Grace looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed for Eli.

When his own laughter died down, he lost his lazy smile….it was replaced by a frown; "the thing is…I think she was right…"

"Oh no…Eli….I'm sure she was just…" Grace tried, but Eli waved her aside, and kept babbling.

"…I'm not happy….I never wanted the job that I have….It was just _there_…and it wasn't like I was a huge success in life…so I took it…the easy way out…"

Grace looked away from him, wishing he would stop talking….knowing that he would regret every word…but he wouldn't stop

"….I don't have anything in Philadelphia….not even a girlfriend…."

Eli leaned forward, reaching for the empty glass, and then realizing it was empty, he sat back again; "….I was supposed to be married by now….did you know that?"

She gave a faint nod; "….are you sure you don't want to go sleep up-stairs for a while?" she urged.

He shook his head wildly; "…I told you this before….but I'll tell you again…ok?"

Grace sighed; "really! Its ok….tell me another day!"

"She was a writer….a children's book writer….she had a mass of red curls….and amazing blue eyes…..she had beautiful eyes….she was funny, intelligent, witty…."

"Eli! Really…I should get back to the party…" Grace tried, desperately

Suddenly, Eli blurted; "I loved Isabelle…." And Grace became very quiet.

"…But I didn't _love_ her….do you know what I mean?"

"I…I don't think I do…" Grace muttered.

"But I stayed with her…I wanted to leave….but I stayed, because I knew she loved me…."

Grace sat very still.

"…She was great….but she wasn't you….do you know what I mean?"

very…still…

"…. Not that I was still hung up on you….I just missed what we had…and I hated that I didn't have that with Isabelle…"

Grace cleared her throat.

"…And then she fell pregnant…"

GRACE (her face is looking into the camera, and she gasps slightly for air)

"….I didn't want the baby…I don't think I even really wanted her….but I still loved her….sort of…so I asked her to marry me…"

"Listen, Eli…maybe you should stop…" Grace found herself saying….pleading?

"And then one day I get a call…." Eli's voice became croaky, and he frowned so deeply, "…I went to the hospital, and she said that she'd lost the baby….just _lost _it…"

Grace's eyes were big as she looked at Eli. Praying that he wasn't about to say….

"…And I was glad…relieved…. I don't know if there is an appropriate word for how I felt…. Is there a word for when you feel relieved but saddened? I don't think there is?"

She let out a small gasp for air. She felt her eyes water slightly…and she suddenly wanted to leave Eli alone in this darkened room, just leave him.

"…And she looked at me and knew…she told me to get out….and I did…. "

He looked to Grace, his brow creased as he looked at her mortified face; she'd brought a hand to her mouth, her eyes were glazed with tears. And he didn't understand…what has he said to upset her?

"Grace…?" he asked, reaching his hand out to touch her arm.

She shoved him away.

"I…I'm going outside…" she murmured, standing, unsteadily.

"Grace…?" he tried again.

"I'm sorry that you told me all that, Eli" was all she whispered, as she wandered back out to the kitchen, and outside, back to the party, where everything was still warm and happy.

Eli just sat, in the darkness, not quite sure of if he'd really just spoken or not….he sat there for the longest time….until morning….when Lily wandered in and woke him.

"What happened?" he whispered groggily, opening an eye.

"…Have a nice night?" Lily asked.

"Mmmmm?"

"You spent the whole evening on the couch…" Lily explained. She was in her dressing gown, hair matted from a night's sleep.

Eli opened his other eye and blinked. Bits and pieces of last night came crashing down; "where's Grace?" he asked, struggling to sit up.

"Oh….she has to get home…" Lily said, helping Eli to prop himself up.

"The Motel?" he asked.

"Oh no honey, back to Wilmington…she's booked a flight for tonight….she has to get back there apparently….for her classes….or something about her room-mate?"

Eli's eyes widened, he blinked; "_Wilmington_?" he asked.

Lily nodded; "but not until tonight…so we can have one last family dinner together…."

"_Wilmington_?" Eli repeated again, and Lily laughed.

"I know! You two haven't had enough time together ….but you'll see her for Christmas break….wont that be a nice holiday?"

Eli blinked again.

ELI I knew this would happen….

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

AHHHHHHHH! Life has been so crazy! I haven't updated in ages.

But you know…writing is very therapeutic for me. It's nice to just sit down and type for an hour or so….I haven't been able to update in ages…sorry!

But this is a long chapter….with a CLIFF HANGER! I know you guys like my cliff hangers (he he he)

I don't know when I can take a break to update again. But when I do…I will have a good chapter for you! …ideas are swimming already!


	109. Chapter 109

"I'll pick you up from the airport at seven…." Carol murmured into the phone.

Grace hurriedly stuffed a white blouse into her bulging suitcase, she struggled to hold the phone between her cheek and shoulder, "thanks, Carol" she replied, walking to the small closet she and Eli had shared for a week. She took the phone, holding it against her ear, she heard Carol sigh heavily.

"…This is all so screwed up….are you sure you're ok?" she asked.

Grace swallowed back tears, and gave a small nod, "I will be…once I get home…"

She ran her hands along the row of several shirts that were hanging on Eli's side of the closet…she picked up the sleeve of a dark blue one, and brought it to her face. It smelt like Eli, the undeniable fragrance of soap, laundry and a sweet, heavy cologne he wore….

"…Yeah…the sooner the better, right?" Carol asked, and Grace blinked, allowing the sleeve she held to drop from her hand.

"…Yeah…"

"Does he know yet?" Carol asked.

Grace blinked again; she stared at the dark blue shirt for a moment longer.

GRACE Eli…

She reached out, and grabbed the shirt off it's hook, walking briskly back to her suitcase, she stuffed it into the bottom of her pile.

"No…I don't think so…."

"He isn't there yet though?"

"No, not _yet…_.but once he wakes up from his coma, mum will no doubt tell him…"

Carol sighed again, "are you sure there wasn't an earlier flight?"

Grace nodded, "sure, I called and double checked 20 times already!"

Carol sighed again, and Grace bit her bottom lip as she balanced the phone on her shoulder again while zipping her case up.

"Are you really ok?" Carol asked again, a sternness in her voice that Grace couldn't lie to.

"…No…no I'm not…."

"Grace! I hate that I cant be there to take care of you…I mean…you cant talk to _anyone _about this…not even Jessie!"

"No! Especially not Jessie!" Grace's voice quivered now, and she felt her eyes water.

"She cant know what Eli did…nobody can…" she sighed, "Christ! I didn't even want to know!"

GRACE I said I wanted to know him….know his secrets…. I didn't think knowing would come at such a price.

"…That…that…jerk!" Carol said, bitterly into the phone.

Grace sniffed, and rubbed her eyes, as the zipper finally pulled to the back of her case; "….Carol…" she stammered, wiping at her eyes again.

"What is it Gracie?"

She tried breathing evenly, in an attempt to get her words out…but she couldn't breath…she was choking…

"I...I have to go…see you at seven…" she blurted quickly, and turned her mobile off, tossing it onto the bed, she ran a hand through her hair, and rubbed her eyes again.

She felt her head spin suddenly. Eli's words came flooding back to her, and she quickly sat herself down before she collapsed.

"**_Grace_**!" Came a loud call from the hall, and then the door flung open, and Eli appeared.

Grace moved quickly. She stood up and grabbed her suitcase. It was heavy, but she lifted it regardless, and headed for the door, which Eli was blocking.

His hair was in a tatted mass; his eyes were still glazed and blotchy. His smart tux was creased, his shirt hanging out, tie undone. He looked horrible…

"Your _leaving_?" he exclaimed, standing before her when she tried to move around him.

She pursed her lips and avoided his eyes. "Yes! I'm leaving!" she murmured, struggling to keep a hold on the heavy case.

"You…you cant…you cant just…._leave_!"

She dropped the bag, it was clear he wasn't going to let her go anywhere without an explanation of some sort.

"I have to!" she explained, eventually looking up to him, her eyes connecting with his.

"Why? _Why_?" he demanded, "because of what I said….what I said last night?"

She gave a small nod, and he grabbed her shoulders. She tried looking away, but his own stare was so strong and firm, she finally gave up and stared right back at him. Unflinching.

"You wanted to _know _me!" he started, his voice deep and gruff, "…you wanted to know about my past…about _her_!" his eyes were stinging, Grace could see as they welled up…but he didn't stop, not for a second.

"I didn't want you to know! Because I am ashamed of what I did…I regret it every day…I think about it every day…every minute….and I hate myself!"

GRACE so you should

Grace felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she couldn't brush it away, Eli was holding onto her arms too tightly.

"…But I told you anyway!"

Grace continued to look into his eyes. His brow was creased, tears wanted to fall…but he just stared right back at her, and finally she spoke…whispered.

"…I wish you hadn't…" and with that, she shrugged him off. Broke free from his grasp…and he let her.

They stood for a moment, perfectly still, in silence.

"…. Do you hate me?" he finally asked, in a low murmur.

GRACE don't make me….

She said nothing, and Eli held his breath.

"…Do you?" he asked again.

Grace released a shaky sigh; "…I….I don't know….I honestly don't know…"

Eli ran a shaking hand through his hair. He let out a small whimper, but he didn't think Grace heard, as she reached again for her suitcase.

"All I know is…." Grace started, and Eli looked up. "…I was starting to fall in love with you again…"

ELI I love you already…

She sniffed back tears, and ran a hand through her hair as she took a step towards the door; "…God! I think I _had _fallen in love with you again!"

"Grace…" he whispered, in a pathetic attempt at stopping her.

"…That just makes this all the more harder…" she said, turning back to him quickly, "…. because I still have to walk away…"

"But…I love you!"

Grace took two more steps, and then flung her head back in a throaty, mocking laugh. She shook her head slowly, dropping her suitcase by her side again, she slowly turned around. Tears streamed her cheeks…black from her mascara, but she still smiled a sarcastic, sad smile.

"Stop it!" she ordered.

Eli shook his head, and stepped towards her, reaching out with a hand he brushed her right arm but she slapped him away and took a step back; the mocking smile now gone from her face.

"**_Stop it, Eli!_**" she yelled, again.

"This…." She started, flinging her arms in the air, "…is killing me!"

"What…?…What?" Eli stammered, his own voice now rising in volume, "Grace! I love you!" he yelled, staring right at her…daring her to turn away.

She didn't, she just stared at him and shook her head. "Don't!" was all she whispered.

"I have to!" he yelled, eyes welling with hot tears. "….You don't know what happened to me! You don't know! You think you can turn and run away from me….because you think you know? You think you understand the pain I had to suffer…the pain that comes from _hating_ yourself?"

"Stop it, Eli….just stop…" she tried, but he walked towards her, still yelling, still trying to explain.

"…I am sorry!" he yelled so loudly, Grace was sure everyone in the motel heard him, but she didn't care, not really…she just wanted him to say what he needed, so that she could leave.

He turned around, and then quickly turned back to her, flinging his arms in the air; "God! I am so sorry!" he yelled, voice shaking.

"But you don't know!….You don't know what I was back there…." He looked out, across the balcony at the city that stared back at him. The sun was still out, giving off a dim light. It was going to be dark soon….and soon….Grace would be leaving.

ELI again. Can I let her leave me again? Let her slip away…again!

"…Back in Philadelphia I tried so hard! So hard to be something that I'm….that I'm just not…" his last words wandered into quiet, and he struggled to control the pitch of his quivering voice.

"…And I tried to love her!…Isabelle…I tried so hard to be what she needed me to be! But….but I just couldn't…and I couldn't love her the way she needed me to!….because I hated myself, Grace…I hated the man I was becoming in Philadelphia! I was living a life I _never _wanted….and every single day I lived through…I kept thinking about the life I left behind back here….back here with _you_..!"

She slowly brought a hand to her mouth, catching a small gasp in her palm, she remained perfectly still as he crept forward, and reached out, taking back the hand she had just raised…he stared so pointedly into her eyes…

"…I came back here with no intention of letting you get close to me…because I was so afraid that I would let myself take back what I missed….I was so terrified that I would fall back in love with you…and that..." with his other, shaking, unsure hand; Eli reached up and brushed Grace's cheek ever so lightly. She flinched, and he pulled back.

"…I was so terrified that you would see the man I had become over those 5 years….I was afraid you would see the man I am now…and hate him…just as much as I do….because, Grace….I do…I hate myself so much…for being so weak as to leave you when I did…for letting Isabelle down….for being relieved that she lost my child….but most of all…" he gulped back tears, and exhaled a small breath, "…I hate myself for not being the man you loved 5 years ago…"

GRACE (exhales)

Grace's eyes were flooded now. She looked into Eli's perfect face. His green eyes with the speck of brown in them. His pink, sweet lips quivered as they awaited her voice….but she could say nothing…even with all he'd said….she still wanted to leave. Because he wasn't the Eli she'd loved 5 years ago.

He had changed, she saw that now. When she'd met him again, 2 weeks ago, she thought she could still see in him, somebody that resembled her past…but she had been wrong, so wrong.

Even with his confessions…the unflinching truth that had poured out of him….she just couldn't bring herself to stay.

She slipped her hand out of his, without breaking their gaze; she reached up and kissed his forehead.

The whole time she was moving in slow motion. Eli could feel that his words had done nothing. And as she made these small gestures of goodbye….it was as though she was moving in slow motion….to allow Eli to savour his last moments with her….because he knew, he wouldn't see her again.

"…Please…" he murmured in a pitiful whisper.

She gave a small shake of her head as she looked into his face for the last time. "…No…" she replied.

He tried grabbing her hand again, but she moved it away from him.

"…I just can't,…" she whispered slowly, "…but I'm not going to say goodbye…. it's too hard saying goodbye to you, Eli…I cant do it again…." She gave a sad smile, and a small nod. Eli just looked into her face, helplessly.

She blinked, bent down and picked her suitcase up, and started walking away, but before she got to the end of the hall, she turned on her heel and looked on at the only man that had ever known her heart. …then….she was gone.

Eli let out a few small breaths. Trying to calm his pounding head and aching heart. And then…his feet started moving…he ran down to the end of the hall…and leaned across the balcony, she was there, in the driveway, a cab pulling up to where she stood.

"**_Grace_**!" he yelled.

She hesitated, and then looked up.

"_Just tell me one thing…."_ He started, _"…how many?"_

She didn't know what he meant…and then, it clicked, and she gave a sad half smile. He had told her of his past…now it was her turn.

"…_Just you, Eli!….there came times….but nobody ever compared to you!" _she yelled back.

He gave a small nod, not believing her for a second.

He watched as she slid into the backseat of the taxi. The driver walking around to his door, and getting in…the cab slowly started to pull away…and Grace wound her window down, sticking her head out and looking up at him…

"…_I'm not a liar, Eli! ….You were the only man I have ever slept with….nobody ever compared…" _she yelled finally…but he couldn't smile…not as he watched her cab pull away….out of sight.

ELI There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.

_**Watching the days burning out like a cigarette, just a few drags to go.  
You built me up and you broke me down, somehow  
Everything just seemed so clear to me, nothing left to know  
I'll love you right and I'll love you pure, right now**_

_**How can you say, that its too late  
To save us now**_

_**And I would wait for you, if you would wait for me  
And I will Wait for you, if you will wait for me**_

_**Intoxicated, the edge is serrated, so easily torn from the core  
I blushed the first time, but you blushed the last time my eyes hit your mind  
Regenerated these feelings of hatred, I long for your love ever more  
You built me up and you broke me down this time**_

_**And I would wait for you, if you would wait for me  
And I will Wait for you, if you will wait for me**_

_**How can you say that its too late, to save us now  
How can you say**_

_**

* * *

**_

AUTHORS NOTE:

Song was Yellowcard; 'cigarette'. Love that band.

I only realized after I posted chapter 108, that Eli had spilled a lot of secrets while drunk…. I totally forgot…it's a bit tacky writing having both Eli and Grace drunk all the time. Sorry, my mistake….but I cant be bothered re-writing.

I hope you liked this chapter (don't worry, its not the last)…although….it may be the last one that includes Eli and Grace together!

…also… I know it's a bit far-fetched to say that Grace had only slept with one guy in 5 years. But, just for the hell of it, lets say that the girl has stamina!


	110. Chapter 110

"Grace?" Lily called, "is that you?"

She wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing, and walked out to the front room; Jessie and Katie were peeling their jackets off.

"Sorry…just us!" Katie smiled.

"She isn't here yet?" Jessie asked, tossing her jacket across the banister.

Lily shook her head and tried to smile, "…neither is Eli" she murmured.

Jessie looked to Katie; the pair shared a curious gaze, and then turned back to Lily.

"…Oh…. well its only 5:30…" Jessie exclaimed, walking to Lily.

Lily nodded, and tangled her arm through Jessie's, leading her into the kitchen; "…yes…but Grace's flight leaves at 10:30…."

Jessie stopped walking, she looked back to Katie who was following them; Lily sighed.

"Oh! Dammit! I was supposed to tell you…but I completely forgot….what with the news and…." She silenced herself. She wanted to keep her and Rick's announcement a surprise, until Grace and Eli arrived.

"Leaving? Why…" Jessie sighed, "….why is she leaving?"

Lily shrugged, "…oh Jessie, she just has business to attend to back in Wilmington…her studies…."

Jessie's eyes were wide. She knew that Grace's leaving had something to do with Eli.

"…Studies?….but…she cant leave!" Katie exclaimed, stepping forward and resting a hand on Jessie's shoulder.

"Oh I know! …Everything was so hectic…what with the wedding and all…you girls hardly had time to catch up!" she patted Jessie's arm and released her, walking back to the kitchen sink where tomatoes awaited washing.

"…But you'll have her here for Christmas…and hopefully Eli can pull away from work for a week and come down to visit aswell…at the same time as Grace…so we can all be here again…." Lily said, staring to rinse the red tomatoes underneath the running water.

Jessie gave a numb nod, she reached for Katie's hand, squeezing it; "…she couldn't have stayed here for another day or two?"

Lily shrugged again, without looking up at the girls; "…no point really…all the relatives have flown out…. you two are jet-setting off to Hawaii in three days…there's really no reason for her to stay away from school for much longer…"

Katie gave a small nod, "but…." She tried.

Lily smiled to herself, "But I do hope she and Eli get here soon!…You're father and I have an announcement to make…"

Jessie and Katie shared another quick glance with one another; "announcement?" Jessie asked, forcing a smile.

Lily nodded; "…. you wont get it out of me, though! So don't even try!" she looked up, smiling, mischievously raising an eyebrow at them; "…not until everyone gets here!"

* * *

Grace steadied herself against the metal box…holding the cold phone to her ear, she breathed heavily as the ringing continued.

"I'll get it!" Zoe screamed, racing down the stairs.

Jessie raised her arms in the air and backed away from the phone, heading back into the lounge where Katie was sitting with Rick.

"Hello?" Zoe spoke into the phone.

Grace took one last deep sigh and calmed herself long enough to answer her sister; "…Zoe?"

"Grace….?" Zoe yelled, loud enough for Lily to hear her from the kitchen. She started washing her hands under the sink, hurriedly.

Zoe levelled her voice again as she spoke to her sister, "…where are you? We're all waiting!"

"Is Eli there too?" Grace asked.

"No…isn't he with you? Aren't you both on you're way?" Zoe asked, but before she could hear her sister's reply, Lily lifted the phone from her ear, and scooted her into the lounge. She cleared her throat; "Grace? Honey?"

Grace sighed again, a shaky, raspy sigh; "yeah…mum its me…"

"Well, where are you?" Lily muttered into the phone. Impatience racking her body. She was anxious to share her good news with her entire family. Judy and Sam Blue had arrived not moments ago, and were now sipping wine in the kitchen. Zoe had emerged from her room and was speaking with Katie and Jessie about their trip….Rick kept coming in and out of the kitchen, pecking her neck with light kisses….making her excitement bubble over.

"….Well…mum…it turns out there was an earlier flight…." Grace started.

"What! Oh! Grace, no!"

"…Yeah mum, the travel agency called half an hour ago and asked me if I wanted to take it…"

"But, baby…we were going to say goodbye to you properly! And….Rick and I were hoping to….to…."

"To what, mum?"

Lily rubbed her forehead and forced a smile, pressing the phone hard against her ear; "…nothing….it's nothing that I can say to you over the _phone_!"

Grace bit her bottom lip, "I'm sorry, really, I am!"

Lily waved her apology aside, "and what about Eli? Hmmm? Where is he?"

Grace blinked, and rested her head against the metal phone box; "Well….I said goodbye to him at the motel….I think he is still planning on going over there…I really don't know….why don't you give him a ring?"

Lily nodded, "Oh! Well, alright then…" she sighed again, "…Oh, Gracie…I really wanted to say goodbye to you…properly…give you one last home cooked meal before you went back to you're dorm, back onto you're regular diet of takeaway and frozen food…"

Grace gave a nonchalant laugh, "Sorry mum, really I am…what was the announcement?"

"What?"

"The big announcement…."

"Oh…well…er…how about you give me a call when your home, safe and sound….and then I'll explain it to you….when we can have a long talk about it?"

"Mum" Grace breathed, "…is everything ok?"

Lily laughed, "Yes! Everything is wonderful…. absolutely….perfect!"

LILY completely, totally, absolutely….inexplicably….perfect!

Grace let out a sigh of relief, "ok…well I better go then…"

"Well, wait! I'm sure Jessie and Katie want to say goodbye….and Judy and Rick…just a moment!"

"Jessie, come say goodbye to Grace!" Lily called.

Jessie stood hurriedly and bolted to the phone.

"Really, mum…I don't have much time left….and I have no more loose change…." Grace tried, but Lily was holding the phone out to Jessie, she didn't hear her.

"Grace! What happened?" Jessie asked, quietly into the phone.

"Jessie I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye…the wedding was beautiful…I'm so, so happy for you and Katie…take care of Rick and mum for me…and Eli, take care of Eli, check up on him, ok?….I have to go…bye….bye Jess! Have an amazing trip!" Grace quickly slammed the phone down. The machine churning out a few pieces of loose changed. She still had another five minutes of talking time.

Jessie kept the phone against her ear, listening to the dull tone of nothing. Just then, the front door opened, and Eli stepped inside. His eyes red and sore, wearing khaki chords and a white shirt…he'd looked for his dark blue one…but he couldn't find it.

"Bye…." Jessie whispered, pulling the phone away from her ear.

She and Eli shared a long gaze, he knew who had been on the phone. Jessie's eyes asked him a million and one questions….questions he just, didn't know the answer to.

Rick stood up and walked to Jessie, reaching his hand out to take the phone from her, but Jessie slammed it down and turned to him, forcing a smile; "….she ran out of money…." Was her only explanation?

Lily sighed, "what a shame!"

"Ahh, yes….shame she couldn't have been here for another day…" Rick said, taking Lily's hand.

* * *

In the vast, empty airport, Grace sat by the large panel glass window; looking out at the black night, speckled with the lights from the city, and the air traffic controllers.

She was the only person in her terminal. Her plane not coming in for another 3 hours…she sat perfectly still in the uncomfortable plastic seat….half wishing she'd had the guts to stay…to say and see what could have happened.

She felt her eyes water again…she reached a hand to her cheek, swiping at a fresh tear.

And all she kept asking herself was….

GRACE I wonder if I'll miss him…miss him so badly like I did for five years…?

* * *

"Adoption?" Jessie echoed.

Lily and Rick reached across the dinner table, clasping one another's hands. They both smiled and nodded.

There was a silence around the table, and then Judy let out a small laugh; "Oh!…oh I am…." She tried finding words. But found that the only way to express herself was to push her chair out, and walk around to where her sister sat, she bear hugged her, and then kissed Rick's cheek.

"This is _wonderful_!" she exclaimed.

Jessie and Zoe shared a glance, and then both smiled in true agreement; "…I think it's a fantastic idea!" Jessie exclaimed, smiling and nodding.

"Yeah…it's pretty cool…" Zoe agreed, "…I'll help out, and stuff….with the baby….you know?"

Lily nodded and smiled, feeling her eyes well; "thankyou honey!"

There was now a buzz of admiration around the table, but Rick sensed his son's quiet, and singled him out.

"What do you think, Eli?" he asked, breaking Eli's thoughts.

He looked up, the whole table staring at him now. He showed no signs of emotion on his face for the longest time…and then, finally….he nodded and smiled, a broad smile, that he himself was surprised he'd had the strength to muster.

ELI and I wonder if I'll miss her as badly as I had?….or maybe because now I know our second chance didn't work…maybe now it wont hurt when I think about her?

Rick and Lily looked to one another, he leaned in and kissed her quickly; "we're going to do this…."

She smiled, and squeezed his hand, "we are!"

* * *

Eli went up and down, from heel to toe, slowly rocking the swing seat. He sat on the front porch, wearing a heavy jacket, hands dug deep into the pockets. He heard the front door creak open, footsteps step out onto the porch….and he knew who it was.

Jessie sat beside him, burying herself into her jacket; "….why did she leave?"

"…She doesn't like who I am…."

Jessie didn't turn to him, she looked out at the quiet road. Streetlights shining their beams onto the black asphalt; "…did she say that?"

"She didn't need to"

Jessie started going up and down aswell, from heel to toe, coming into the same rhythm as her brother, the swing seat rocking back and forth; "…Grandma wished she'd had time to say goodbye to you…."

"I thought she would have stayed for longer…"

Jessie smiled sadly, "…no….she had an expedition in Peru or something…."

Eli let out a small, gruff laugh; "….she told me I was sad…" he said, letting his laugh die down into a frown.

Jessie turned to him, bewildered; "did she really?…."

Eli nodded, and let out another sarcastic, bitter laugh; "….yes she did…."

Jessie nodded, and turned back to the quiet street.

"….You are…." Was all she whispered.

Eli didn't turn to her, he wasn't surprised that she had agreed with his Grandmother….hell, even he agreed with that assumption of himself.

"…There's still time, you know…" Jessie started. "…She leaves at 10:30….you could still catch her."

Eli and Jessie said nothing for a while. "You know, when Grace and I first started out….we thought our only obstacle, the only thing stopping us from being completely together….was our family…the family we shared" Eli spoke calmly, and Jessie listened tentatively.

"…. They never stopped us….how could they? They don't even know about 'us', never did and probably never will"

"So what _was_ stopping you?" Jessie asked in a hush

Eli shrugged, "I am still trying to figure that out….but I think, maybe….we just never allowed ourselves to believe we could be so happy…we were too cynical…"

"Jess?" Katie poked her head out, "oh…sorry…" she murmured.

"Its alright" Eli said, standing. Jessie reached out, stroking his hand, "I'm sorry, E" she murmured.

He nodded, "me too…" he said, and walked past Katie, back inside.

"What did he say, what happened?" Katie asked, closing the front door.

Jessie motioned for her to sit where Eli had been, Katie did so. "He misses her already…" she murmured in reply, and rested her head against Katie's shoulder.

"Poor Eli…" Katie whispered, and she started so stroke Jessie's hair softly.

ELI (sits on a stool, shrugs)…this is how it's supposed to be. (Camera pans out, showing he is alone in the scene)

* * *

She peered out of the small window. The man she was to sit next to put his luggage in the over-head, and sat down.

It was an eerie black outside. Charcoal black…

In a little while she would be home. Carol would be there, ready to listen to every single detail….hand her a tissue when she came to the end of her story…when she told Carol how she'd lied to Eli

GRACE (shrugs, looks away from camera)….three….Eli, a guy called Michael that I met in my first term at Wilmington….he was a mistake. And Andrew….we dated for two months…it was three….three…. I lied. And I don't know why…

And then, in a week or two….Grace guessed, or more, hoped…that she wouldn't be hurting as much as she was right now…she hoped Eli would pass from her memory. She hoped…but she knew he wouldn't…ever.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

this is not the end.

Close to it, though.


	111. Chapter 111

"Ok…so do you want a coffee? Sandwich?….Or…we could go out somewhere and have dinner?" Carol spoke frantically as she placed Grace's heavy suitcase by her bed.

Grace was still standing timidly by the door, watching as Carol moved around. Finding no energy inside herself to make any sort of motion. She just stood, and felt her eyes sting again.

"Carol…it's midnight…." Grace whispered.

Carol turned to her, hearing the shakiness of her tone as she came close to tears again.

"Oh…oh sweetie…." She murmured, walking to Grace, placing a hand behind her head and cradling her as she started softly crying.

"I'm sorry…" Grace said croakily, trying to make herself laugh the tears away, "…I feel so stupid…"

"Don't, ok? Don't worry about it…" Carol cooed, in her soothing way. Grace hadn't felt so lucky to have her as a friend as she did at that very moment…

"…Should I have left?" Grace asked.

Carol said nothing; she stroked Grace's back and listened as she started to sniff back tears, "should I?…" she asked again.

"Don't…don't think about it…" was all Carol could say.

Grace pulled away, wiping away salty tears with her fingers. Carol tucked back wisps of hair from her face, she stared into Grace's sore eyes; "you know….I think you just need to sleep right now…."

Grace gave a pathetic nod, and Carol led her to her bed. Grace lowered herself down, and Carol moved around, taking off Grace's boots, helping her to squirm out of her heavy coat. And finally, she tucked the blanket over her body.

"Carol…" Grace murmured, already half asleep.

She sat beside Grace, rhythmically stroking her hair, watching as Grace's eyes closed; "what is it honey?" Carol whispered.

"…. He told me he loves me…" Grace whispered back, opening her eyes just wide enough to see a blurry image of Carol.

Carol nodded, trying to curb her surprise, she kept stroking her hair… "Don't think about it…wait until morning, ok?"

* * *

"So…how do you feel about it?" Jessie asked as she walked her brother to his terminal.

"About dad and Lily adopting?" he asked, turning to her, she nodded.

They reached the sitting area, and found an empty row of plastic seats where they sat; "I don't know…happy I guess…" he replied, "why? How do you feel?"

Jessie shrugged and sat back, "really happy for them…"

Eli looked to his sister out of the corner of his eye; "…will you and Katie be next?"

Jessie gave a small smile, and turned to him, "to adopt?" she asked, and he nodded with a small smile.

She let out a small laugh and bit her bottom lip, "we'll take it slow for now….but…." she gave a small nod, "…yes, I think we will…eventually…definitely…not just yet"

He elbowed her softly, playfully; "I can't picture you as a mum"

She laughed, "I can't picture _you _as an uncle!"

They turned to one another and smiled; "…no…you're still my little sister…it's hard to picture you starting a family of your own when, in my eyes, you're still only a baby yourself"

She shrugged, "well, start picturing it, E…cause not too long from now it's gonna happen!"

_"**Flight 879 departing for Philadelphia…Flight 879 departing for Philadelphia…"**_

Eli stood, and Jessie looked up at him; "I'm going to miss you," she murmured.

He reached out a hand, and helped her stand. She wrapped her arms around him, "don't wait so long for the next reunion, ok?" she whispered in his ear.

They pulled away and he nodded.

"Have a nice holiday, Jess!".

She nodded, and bit her bottom lip again when she felt tears begin to form at the back of her eyes; "call me when you get home, ok" she ordered.

He rolled his eyes, "I will" he turned, and started slowly walking to the line that had formed.

Jessie stayed standing, she watched as he filed in line, handed his ticket to a stewardess.

He turned around one last time before boarding, and Jessie mouthed 'call me!', he nodded again and smiled.

Jessie waved, and so did he…and then…he was gone.

* * *

"What did dad say?"

Grace opened her eyes.

"Really?"

Carol laughed, and Grace rolled over.

"No, no that's great!"

Carol was standing by the window, phone to her ear, smiling madly….it must be her beau, Samuel, on the phone.

"Ok, well tell her to stay away from them! Ok?"

Grace sat up, and Carol turned to her.

"Ok, baby I got to go….alright….I love you more….I love you, bye!" she clicked the phone off, placing it on her desk, she walked to Grace's bed, siting on the edge.

"Nice sleep?"

Grace nodded, "what time is it?" she asked.

"11:30…" Carol replied, and Grace groaned; "Christ! You should have woken me up…."

Carol shrugged.

"Was that Samuel?" Grace asked, eyeing the phone.

Carol nodded, "yep…he might be coming down next week for a day or two…if he can convince his dad it'd be for business…"

Grace gave a small smile, "…your so lucky…" she whispered.

Carol squirmed uncomfortably. She silently cursed herself for not standing in the hall while talking to Samuel.

"So…am I going to zip down to 31 flavours and buy you a bucket?" Carol asked, changing the subject.

Grace bit her bottom lip, looking away; "I could really go a Pralines 'n Cream…" she whispered.

Carol smiled, and patted her hand, "Pralines 'n Cream it is then…" she said, standing up and reaching for her purse.

But Grace reached out, grabbing her hand and stopping her…Carol looked to Grace.

"Thankyou…" Grace said, almost silently.

Carol nodded and shrugged, forcing a warming smile to spread across her lips; "its what I'm here for…", she said, knowing Grace didn't just mean thankyou for fetching the much needed ice cream.

Grace nodded and let her go.

"I'll hurry back… you look as though you need that bucket real bad!" Carol smiled, and left the dorm room.

When she was out of the room, Carol leaned against the door, closing her eyes and taking a quick breath.

She wondered how long it would take for her best friend to come to her senses….

* * *

Eli kicked his door open, juggling his house keys and large suitcase; he stepped inside, shutting it closed with his foot.

He tossed his keys out, landing them on the couch. He put his suitcase down by the door, and examined his apartment….it was just as he'd left it.

He walked to the kitchen; opening the fridge door and poking his head in. He scrunched his nose up with disgust when he smelt the leftover Chinese he'd forgotten to throw away.

Tentatively, he reached out, trying hard not to touch the box too much, and tossed it into his bin.

He took out a bottle of water and slammed the fridge, turning around to investigate his answering machine. He had a whopping 5 new messages.

He clicked the button and half listened;

_**"…**_**_Mr Sammler…this is Peter, you're assistant…just calling to confirm that you will be in the office tomorrow…there will be a board meeting…you have some release paper's to sign…and I took care of all you're phone calls while you were gone, and little bits and pieces of work….yes well, see you tomorrow Mr Sammler"_ **_beep_

Eli rolled his eyes, and took a long swig from his bottle. Another message beeped on.

_"**Eli? …Just me, Jessie…calling to remind you to call me when you get home…" **Eli laughed and shook his head, "_**_…yeah well…call me! Love you!"_ **_beep._

"**Eli? …" **It was a woman's low voice. He couldn't tell who's it was…his heart skipped a beat when the thought of Grace crossed his mind. He lowered his water and strained to listen as the woman took a long pause before continuing. _**"….I detest answering machines…" **he sighed, knowing exactly who it was. **"It's Monica! You better be in tomorrow, there's a board meeting…to discuss the position you went out for…the position I have been discussing with my managers." **_Eli raised an eyebrow. So, she had tried to weasel her way in… **_"…Just calling to warn you that there are two names on the table for head manager…your's…and mine…good luck! Ciao!"_ **_beep._

Did he care? …Surprisingly enough, not really.

"**E?" **it was his grandmother. He could recognise her earnest, soft voice in an instant, and he almost reached out to delete her message…but restrained himself instead. _**"I'm sorry I missed you, missed saying goodbye to you, that is…" **she made a heavy sigh, **"sweety, you know I adore you! …I'm happy for who you are, really…" **_she wasn't the sort of person to make heart to heart conversations over the phone, and as he listened, he could hear her struggling to get the words out; **_"…forgot what I'd said…about…you know what! I love you, and I miss you already!"_**_beep. _

_"_**_Mr Sammler? Just calling to let you know you're car is ready to be picked up…"_ **he deleted the last message, uninterested.

He walked to his bedroom. Just as he'd left it. And sat at the edge of his bed.

He was dying for a whisky….but resisted the urge, drinking his water instead. He also resisted the urge to call Grace…

He didn't know where they stood now. Was yesterday their last goodbye, ever?

Did she really hate him…as much as he hated himself….

He wished he'd forced her to stay, so he could ask her all these burning questions. So he could plead his case…plead with her to stay.

He looked around his cold, plain bedroom, running a hand through his hair. He heard a heavy sigh, and then a pathetic whimper…the beginning of a quiet, humbled bawl.

And then he realized…the sounds were coming from him…he was crying. And he couldn't stop.

* * *

Grace had changed into jeans and an old tank top. She tied her messy hair into a bun, and sighed with distaste at her large suitcase that awaited unpacking…. slowly, she lifted it to her bed and unzipped it.

Diligently, she tossed some clothes on the ground, clothes that needed washing. She took out her toiletries pack; her shoes…and then she came to the bottom of her case. The dark blue shirt stared back at her.

She carefully lifted it out. It was wrinkled, creased…and still smelt of Eli. She held it close to her face. Soap, laundry and that cologne… it was intoxicating.

"I got a bucket o' ice-cream here with you're name on it…" Carol exclaimed as she burst through the door.

Grace turned to her, a small smile on her lips, still holding the shirt to her cheek.

"His?" Carol asked.

Grace nodded; "I stole it…"

"Admirable!" Carol shrugged, pulling out the bucket of ice cream, and two small plastic, pink spoons.

"…I don't feel like any, right now…" Grace tried, but Carol pulled a stern face; "no way, girl! I just rushed out to buy you some comfort food…and by god, you are going to eat it!"

Grace smiled a little wider, and took a small spoon from Carol, who popped the lid of the bucket.

Grace took a spoon full, and was instantly addicted.

She and Carol sat cross-legged on the floor, their spoons swooping down every few seconds, taking scoops of the delicious creamy snack.

"So…I'm presuming that you had sex with him?" Carol finally asked, after an eternity of quiet eating.

Grace nodded, a little uncomfortably.

Carol nodded in understanding; "…how was it?" she asked.

Grace looked up, an eyebrow raised, lips pursed. Carol raised her hands in the air, defeated; "ok! Backing right away from that one…"

"Good…" Grace said, shoving another spoonful in her mouth.

"…How did he smell?" Carol asked, and Grace's head lifted.

"What the hell sort of question is that?" she asked.

Carol shrugged and took another spoonful, poising it in her hand as she spoke; "I don't know…just from experience, it's really hard to resist a guy who smells _really _good…"

Grace looked to the half full bucket of quickly melting ice-cream.

"Sam smells like…." Carol gave a small smile as she tried to pin-point his exact scent, "…he smells like….that crisp, fresh smell of a summer morning…you know that smell?"

Grace gave a small smile and a slight nod.

Carol laughed; "yeah! He smells like that! …Not really manly…but nice…warm….?"

"…It's probably just his cologne…" Grace murmured.

Carol shook her head, "no…it's just him…he always smells like Summer…"

Grace played with the slushy ice-cream. Twirling her spoon around the white, sticky cream, she looked up at Carol and nodded. "Eli smelt good…"

Caro shrugged again, "see…that'll do it…a good smell is hard to forget!"

Grace smiled, and let out a slight giggle; "yeah…it is!"

"Almost as hard as the man…"

Grace's laugh heightened.

"Grace…?" Carol tried, but she only threw her head back, and held her stomach…tears started to stream her eyes as her laughter intensified.

Carol tried to join in, with a meek chuckle…but she really couldn't see what was so funny.

"Grace?" she tried again.

GRACE I am never going to forget him…am I?…That's the irony of it all, isn't it?…the ones you want to forget….you cant!

She died down, wiping at her tears of laughter… she focussed back on Carol, who was looking at her, bewildered.

"He smelt _so _good!" Was all Grace said.

GRACE …you just can't….

* * *

"Sorry Eli!"

"…Tough break…"

"I thought you had it!"

Eli nodded and forced a smile as he walked back to his office.

Monica had gotten the position…

He was partly disappointed. But mostly thankful. He didn't really want it. He didn't even want this job…he never did! What good would it do to only promote him?

"Mr Sammler?"

"Not now Peter" he replied, calmly.

"…I have an envelope for you…" his assistant pushed.

Eli swivelled around in his chair, motioning for Peter to bring it to him.

He was handed the envelope; "thankyou…" he said, and Peter left.

It was from Jessie. Delivered by Fed-Ex.

Eli tore it open. Inside was another envelope, from Kodak. It was the pictures from the wedding… and a single note that read; 'it meant a lot to me that you could be there'

Eli smiled, and started rifling through the pictures.

There were tons of Jessie and Katie. Getting ready, during the ceremony, and dancing one another around the dance floor as newlyweds.

There was his mother and Henry. Lily and his father. Zoe…looking stubborn and tough in her leather jacket, in a vain attempt to hide her awful gown….Judy and Sam Blue. His father and Jessie sharing a father-daughter dance. There were also a few of Eli. Dancing with Karen, Katie and Jessie. Standing by himself, smiling awkwardly.

There were only two photos of Grace in the whole pile.

There was the one of her and Zoe, dancing wildly. And a candid shot of her, looking to the crowd…a blurry figure that Eli recognised as his own, was the object of her intent stare.

He smiled sadly, and rubbed his thumb over the picture. He turned it over, not so surprised to see Jessie had written something on the back; 'she sees you'. Such a simple message…that made Eli smile from ear to ear.

* * *

After two buckets of Pralines n' cream, an in-depth talk about men and their signature scents, and watching breakfast at Tiffany's until 12:00…Grace was more than ready for sleep.

She lay in bed, waiting for Carol to come back from the bathroom. The door opened, a stream of light from the hall hitting Grace's face.

"There's something here for you…" Carol said, tossing an envelope onto Grace's bed. It was from Jessie. A Fed-Ex.

Carol closed the door again, tossed her toiletries bag on the floor, and snuggled into bed, "The courier was looking for our door…what is it?" she asked, unable to see Grace in the now dark room.

Grace shrugged, and tossed it onto the floor; "Don't know…I'm too tired to look…" she murmured, bringing the blanket over her head. "Goodnight Carol…" she mumbled.

"Night Gracie" Carol replied.

"And Carol…."

"Hmmm?"

"Thanks…"

"I told you…that's what I'm here for!"

GRACE (smiles) I'm going to be ok…. I think… I hope….

* * *

"…_**I was so terrified that you would see the man I had become over those 5 years….I was afraid you would see the man I am now…and hate him…"**_

Grace opened her eyes quickly…she had heard his voice so vividly…but it had been a dream…a terrible dream.

She sat upright, and looked around the dark room. She looked to the clock, it was 2:15, and she knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

Carol was sleeping soundly, and she didn't want to wake her. Quietly, Grace switched on her little reading light, filling only her half of the room with a soft glow.

She spotted the Fed-Ex envelope on the floor. She stared at it for a moment, thinking it was probably a hand-written letter from Jessie saying why she and Eli were meant to be. Grace didn't feel like reading it…but, curiosity got the better of her. She bent down and picked it up, tearing it carefully. A single note fell out, and a Kodak envelope. The note read; 'thankyou for being there. Love, Jessie and Katie'.

Grace rifled through the pictures. Smiling as she studied the happy faces. Jessie, Katie, Rick, mum, Zoe, Judy, Sam, Karen, Henry…and, Eli….

There were a few of him, each one making her smile. There were a few goofy ones of him standing, smiling awkwardly in his 'monkey suit'.

Grace blushed when she saw the two of her…she couldn't believe she was showing so much chest!

"…_**I came back here with no intention of letting you get close to me…because I was so afraid that I would let myself take back what I missed….I was so terrified that I would fall back in love with you…"**_

Grace blinked as she stared at a picture of Eli. Standing to the side, watching Katie and Jessie dance. His words rang in her head…and they wouldn't stop…she kept hearing his pleadings over and over again. And suddenly, she felt empty.

GRACE he made a mistake…

Grace stared into the photo. Her heart was pounding so defiantly… she knew what she had to do….

GRACE ..and he regrets it…

She tossed the covers off herself. The photo's that were scattered on her bed fell to the ground.

GRACE …I don't want to regret the mistake I made…

She ran to Carol's bed, and started shoving her frantically; "Carol!" she murmured. No response. "_Carol!" _

"What! What! What happened…?" Carol asked, groggily.

"I…I have to go…I have to tell him…" Grace said, her voice filled with passion and excitement.

Carol opened her eyes, not really listening to Grace's babblings.

"Go where? Tell who?" she asked, disinterested.

"Eli!" Grace exclaimed, making Carol jump slightly. "..I have to go to Philadelphia, right _now_ and tell him that I don't care!"

"Don't care? What?" Carol struggled to sit up.

"I don't care who he was!" Grace said, standing. She scanned the room. Spotting the jeans she'd tossed on the floor a few hours ago. She raced to them, picking them up; she started squirming out of hr pyjama bottoms, and pulled them on.

"And…who _was _he?" Carol asked, rubbing her eyes.

"…He was trying to be someone he wasn't…he made mistakes…and I forgive him! Because…we all make mistakes…"

"Whoa! Whoa! Grace…what are you talking about?" Carol asked, flinging her own blanket off. Watching as Grace pulled on a white jumper, sneakers, and rummaged through her wallet- looking for cash.

Grace looked up for a moment, a smile on her face. "He made a mistake…and so did I!"

"What?" Carol asked.

"….I left him!" Grace shrugged, feeling her eyes water.

Carol stared at her for the longest time. Happy that she'd come to her senses…and partly disappointed that she'd come to them at 2:20 in the morning!

"So? Are you going to drive me to the airport?" Grace asked, her voice croaky.

Carol bit her bottom lip. "Of… of course I will! Just let me get a jacket!"

GRACE leaving him was my mistake.


	112. THE END Chapter 112

Carol wrapped her arms around Grace's shaking body. "I love you," she whispered, pulling away.

Grace looked into her kind face and gave a small nod, "love you too, babe," she whispered.

_"**Flight 879 departing for Philadelphia…Flight 879"**_

Carol smiled and let out a small laugh; "this is something out of a movie…!"

Grace laughed aswell; "you don't think what I'm doing is crazy?" she asked.

Carol shook her head, and reached for her hand, squeezing it; "no…I think it's romantic…and about time!"

_"**Flight 879 departing for Philadelphia…Flight 879"**_

"Well!.." Carol ordered, motioning to the line that had formed, boarding the plane; "go!" she exclaimed.

And with that, Grace turned around and bolted for the gate. With a quick wave over her shoulder, she disappeared…

"That girl is crazy…" Carol whispered to herself, with a laugh.

* * *

Eli rolled over. He glanced at the clock by his bed. It was 5:30 in the morning.

He closed his eyes again. But he hadn't been dreaming. His doorbell kept ringing…he groaned, adamant that he would ignore it. He rolled over and buried his head beneath the covers.

But it kept ringing. Again and again.

"_**ELI!"**_

He quickly sat up right. Was that….?

ELI no…I'm dreaming…it couldn't be

Somebody stated banging on his door. With a mighty force, the banging and the ringing doorbell were too much. And then; **_"ELI!" _**she screamed again.

In an instant, Eli jumped out of bed. He shrugged on a woollen jumper, and hurried to his door. Unlatching the dozen or so locks that were keeping him from the girl on the other side…and then…he flung his door open, and, sure enough it was her.

She stood there. Her beautiful brown eyes wide and scared. It had been raining outside, it would appear, because her hair was dripping. Small beads of water ran down her face, and her clothes were soaked through.

"Grace?" he whispered her name, afraid that as he did so, the image of her standing before him would disappear….he was so certain this was all a dream.

She was shaking slightly. Not from the cold, but from standing so close to him…close enough to reach out and touch him.

Once her plane had landed, she didn't know where to go. She was unsure of Eli's address, so she had found a pay phone and rang Jessie. She was ecstatic when she told her she was in Philadelphia.

From there, with Eli's address scribbled on her hand, she'd gotten a cab and driven the half hour from the airport to the heart of Philadelphia…and here she was… after all it took to get here…she now stood in front of him…speechless.

"Grace…what…?" he started, but she put a hand up, silencing him.

"Eli…." She started, looking to the ground, and then back to his face.

"Eli…" she tried again, but that was the only word she could get out. Nothing else followed.

ELI this is all I need…her…right here.

"Eli…" she tried again, feeling utterly ridiculous now. Standing before him, dripping wet, unable to speak but a single word.

So he helped her. He didn't need to her hear speak…..he just needed….her.

He cupped her head in his hands, leaned down…and did the simplest thing in the entire world…he kissed her.

He kissed her wet, slippery, pink lips.

GRACE he does smell good…

She ran a hand over his back, pushing him into her. And, as the kiss deepened, she stated to cry…she couldn't help it…she started to cry…and then she started to laugh.

He pulled away, still holding her face gently in his hands, he looked into her eyes- her wild, crying, laughing eyes.

She gulped back tears and laughter, and tried to string a sentence together; "I'm sorry….I am so sorry…"

"Ssshhh…" he comforted, leaning in and kissing her lips quickly, then pulling back and staring into her face again.

He couldn't believe she was here. He couldn't believe he was holding her…he believe it…

"…I didn't want to live with the mistake I made of letting you go…I just…. I just couldn't live with that!" she said, unsteadily.

He gave a small nod, and leaned in, kissing her quickly again, and pulling away.

"I love you Eli…. I loved you five years ago…and I still love you!…I never want to stop loving you…the very thought of it just scares me to death!"

He leaned in, and slowly started to kiss her neck….working his way back to her lips. She smiled, and let out a small laugh.

"Eli…can you forgive me?…Oh please!…I just want to be with _you_…I don't want to spend another five years, or even another day without you! And I don't care about what you did…who you were…or even what our parents will say! I just want you…"

He stopped kissing her. He let go of her, stepped back and gave a soft smile; "I was coming for you…" he murmured, and motioned for her to step into the apartment.

She did so, and saw, by the door- Eli's packed suitcase. With an airline ticket on top….a ticket to North Carolina.

"You were coming for me?…" she smiled to herself, and then looked to Eli, who nodded.

ELI (stands up…walks out of scene)

GRACE (turns and looks to her right, where Eli walks in and sits beside her)

"I love you…and I wasn't about to let you leave me…." He whispered.

She stepped into him, reached up and kissed his lips…tenderly, sweetly….for the longest time.

_**Between the lines I get it, all ready when you spoke to me last night,**_

_**Don't think I don't know what's going on here, be sure I didn't come to steal your life.**_

_**You leave before midnight; you're standing in the bright lights,**_

_**Don't be afraid, don't be afraid to come back to me.**_

_**You leave before midnight; you're standing in the backlights,**_

_**Don't be afraid, hey, don't be afraid to come back to me, yeah.**_

_**And in disguise I'll come to you, darling tonight, you will walk outside your door,**_

_**Don't be surprised if I told you, I'm not as strong as you were told.**_

_**You leave before midnight; you're standing in the bright lights,**_

_**Don't be afraid, don't be afraid to come back to me.**_

_**You leave before midnight; you're standing in the bright lights,**_

_**Don't be afraid, hey, don't be afraid to come back to me.**_

_**Coz no-one's gonna know if you stay or if you go,**_

_**If you do or if you don't, at least you won't be long, it won't be long.**_

_**No-one's gonna know if you stay or if you go,**_

_**If you do or if you don't, at least you won't be long, it won't be long.**_

_**You leave before midnight; you're standing in the bright lights,**_

_**Don't be afraid, don't be afraid to come back to me.**_

_**You leave before midnight; you're standing in the bright lights,**_

_**Dont be afraid, hey, don't be afraid to come back to me.**_

_**Yeah, woah, woah, yeah, don't be afraid to come back to me, yeah,**_

_**Woah, woah, yeah, don't be afraid to come back to me, yeah,**_

_**Woah, yeah, yeah, don't be afraid to come back to me.**_

_**(Leave before midnight, standing in the back lights),**_

_**Oh yeah, don't be afraid to come back to me, yeah.**_

Eli and Grace lay between the covers. Grace's head rested on Eli's bare chest….he played with her hand, running his fingers along her soft palm…bringing it to his lips to kiss tenderly.

"I'm going to quit my job…" he whispered.

Grace smiled, "and do what…?" she asked.

Eli looked down at her, and kissed her hand again; "I don't really know…." He murmured.

Grace looked up at him, "that sounds a lot more like the old Eli!" she smiled wider.

He shrugged, and pulled her into him, kissing her lips, hard; "right now the only thing I'm sure about is you…and that's the way I like it…"

She pulled away, and looked into his eyes; "me too…"

They lay like that for the longest time. As the sun rose into the sky, with its majestic colours; red, orange, yellow, blue, purple, pink…all streaming into Eli's bedroom…cascading onto their bodies as they made love again…

* * *

**ONE **

**YEAR**

**LATER **

"Lily?"

"In here!"

Jessie followed her voice into the kitchen, where she was slaving over the stove.

"Where are Katie and the kids?" Lily asked, looking up.

"She's unloading them from the car…" Jessie explained. And, just as she said that, the little pounding footsteps could be heard rampaging through the house.

"There's my little girl!" Rick exclaimed, as he walked down the stairs, opening his arms to a little Asian child, only two years old. She had sparkling brown eyes, and little tufts of black, spiky hair.

"Kayla!" Rick exclaimed as she ran up to him, attaching herself to his leg.

"Kayla….want to help mummy bake a cake?" Lily called.

Rick and his daughter shared an enthused smile, and she waddled into the kitchen.

"There's my girl!" Lily smiled, bending down and picking her up.

"Jess!" Katie called.

Jessie ran to the front door, where Katie was struggling to carry a picnic basket and a little boy in her hands.

"Oh…Jay, come here" Jessie smiled, opening her arms and taking the three year old from her wife, who sighed with relief.

Jay was a chubby, gorgeous African-American baby boy. He outstretched a little hand and ran his chubby little fingers through Jessie's golden hair; "hello sweety…lets go see Grandma!" she exclaimed.

"Gramma!" he yelped, giddy with happiness.

"Jay!"

Jessie turned around to see Zoe coming down the stairs. Her face lit up as she saw her little brother; "Hey Zoe!" Jessie smiled.

"Come to you're big sister!" Zoe said, ignoring Jessie, and uploading Jay from her arms.

"Nice to see you too..." Jessie muttered.

"Are Grace and Eli here yet?" Zoe asked, not really paying attention to Jessie's headshake, as she made funny faces for Jay.

Katie and Jessie shared a quick glance, and both went into the kitchen.

"So what's the news with Grace and Eli?" Katie asked, setting the picnic basket down, "did you ring them both last night?"

Lily handed Kayla to Rick, and continued to stir her soup; she nodded, "I rang them both…"

"And?" Jessie urged.

Lily shrugged, "neither will give even a hint as to who they are bringing down to meet us!" she sighed.

Jessie and Katie shared a knowing glance with one another.

"But…" Rick started, bouncing Kayla lightly in his arms, "…we think Grace's boyfriend is a fellow student…and Eli's is a co-worker…."

"Really?" Katie asked.

Lily nodded, "we think so…but I guess we'll have to wait and see…" she glanced at the clock, "they should be here by now…"

Just then, low and behold…the doorbell rang.

Before Jessie could open her mouth, Lily bolted for the door. She opened it, to reveal Grace and Eli standing side-by-side, holding hands?

"Is it them? Lily?" Rick called, making his way out to the front.

Jessie, Katie and Zoe followed.

"Aren't they're more of you?" Lily asked, trying to look past Eli and Grace. Trying to see where their 'partners' were.

"Well…mum…we have something to tell you…" Grace started, looking to Eli with a nervous, but sweet smile.

LILY oh

RICK my

ZOE god!

ELI & GRACE (sitting side by side…Grace is wearing a wedding ring…they're holding hands and smiling madly)

_**THE**_

_**END ** _

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**  
I wouldn't let my favourite couple have a sad ending! Come on guys…that's just not cool!

I think this chapter was a little cheesy. But this is how I want to end it.

I could go on and do a 5 years from now chapter…but I don't want to…I don't think it matters what Eli and Grace become….just so long as they are together. So, yeah, just know that they went on to get married, regardless of what their parents think….

Thankyou all so much for sticking with me through this hell-of-a-long story!

I honestly only meant for it to be a 30 chapter thing….but it went on to 112! Geez Louise!

Thankyou for all you're comments, ideas and enthusiasm.

Love you all…be happy!

Loads of love

Danibabe87

_p.s- song was ELAN- midnight._


End file.

Once and Again, Angst, Romance