Final Fantasy VII Cloud's Confession

I failed to protect you…

I was your 'bodyguard'. But, before that I was your friend. I cared about you greatly. Since the day I crashed into your church, we became close fast. And now that you're gone, I realize that you meant more to me than just a 'friend'. From the first time I saw you, I felt uneasy around you. Something about you made me feel strange. I never knew what it was, until…

Until I saw you keeling at the altar, praying to save the world from the danger that drew near.

You were praying silently, your eyes closed and hands clasped together. You looked like an angel, so peaceful and calm. As I came closer to you, an invisible will forced me to draw my sword against you, and I was seconds away from killing you. I'm sorry for that. I was weak, as I've always been. Luckily for us all, Vincent and Cid stopped me. When I finally pulled myself together, you looked up at me with your beautiful bright green eyes, with the same cheerful and loving look you always gave me.

And in that very instant when our eyes met, I knew that I loved you. No, not 'knew'. I had always known that. But, it wasn't until then that I listened to my heart instead of my mind, and I understood that the uneasiness I felt when around you was nothing more than love.

That moment seemed to last forever, and I felt my heart going wild with excitement and joy. But the joy soon faded and was quickly replaced by horror. All because of him…

Sephiroth…

I never saw him coming, although I knew he was there. And that was another mistake. I knew he was there, he told me he'd go after you. And yet, I couldn't do anything to save you. All I could do was watch…

You were smiling at me. It was the same warm smile that hid the sadness in your soul. You continued to smile even as I gasped in horror when I saw him coming towards you, his sword poised to kill. Before I could react, he had already stabbed you. He smiled coldly as he withdrew his sword from your body. You continued to smile as life slowly faded away from your body.

Holy fell from its place on your hair, but I couldn't care less about it. I couldn't care less about Vincent and Cid behind me, gasping in disbelief at what their eyes saw. The world could've ended in that very instant and I wouldn't have noticed. I only had eyes for you…

I caught you before you reached the floor. You weren't bleeding at all, but I didn't care about it. You weren't breathing. You weren't smiling. You weren't alive.

As I held your lifeless, yet still warm body in my arms, my whole body began to tremble. My eyes burned as if fire had been lit inside them. My lips went dry. My heart shattered. My soul wept.

And he... he laughed. He rejoiced at his murderous act. He was a step closer to becoming a 'god'. No, not a god. He'd never become one. He was a demon with human form. He dared tell me you'd become part of him. I refused to believe it. Someone as pure and loving as you couldn't unite with someone as cruel and evil as Sephiroth. He continued to gloat over his actions. He finally left, leaving behind another of his 'mother's' forms.

Vincent and Cid fought with me: I remember Vincent's gun firing madly at the monster in front of us, and I remember Cid stabbing Jenova viciously. But I... I fought as if they weren't there. I fought as if, somehow, my effort and my blood could bring you back to life.

But they didn't.

After the battle, Jenova said something about me being a puppet. I didn't mind it much. I could only think of you.

You, asking me to buy a flower...

You, asking me to be your bodyguard...

You, blushing when I kissed your hand at the Gold Saucer's play...

You, telling me you'd stop Sephiroth...

You, promising me you'd be back once this was all over...

You, dying in front of my eyes, and smiling till the end...

Once the battle was over, I turned my gaze to your lifeless body leaning against the railing. Had I not known the truth about you, I would have mistaken you for a sleeping angel.

One by one our friends gave you their last farewell in silence. None of them dared speak, lest strength fail their voice. Yuffie and Tifa were crying silently; Cid and Barret were shattered, and spilt some tears, as well. Cait Sith came to me later on; he said it wasn't fair that he was just a stuffed toy and could not cry for you, even though he felt as sad as the rest of us. Red XIII howled to the empty city, and angered sound which demanded an explanation that would not soon come. Finally, Vincent also stopped for a moment to give you a last goodbye. He did not weep, nor show emotion, but I know he misses you greatly, just as the rest of us do.

Once they were all gone, I walked towards you and lifted you from the altar's floor. Your body felt light as a feather, yet my own grief weighted upon my shoulders like a thousand rocks. After a few minutes that felt as an eternity, I reached the long, crystal staircase. Slowly, painfully, I climbed it, each of my steps echoing coldly around me, filling the city with an eerie sound. When I finally reached the outside, my knees were weak and I felt like falling down on them, never to stand up again. But I had to take you to your final resting place; I had to make sure your body would remain undisturbed for the rest of eternity…

So I managed to step out of the house and walk towards the lakeshore. It reminded me of you, so calm and pure. It was the perfect place to lay your body to a rest: it was in your people's city, away from civilization's turmoil and curious little beasts. Sorrow, grief and guilt squeezing my heart, I walked into the lake and laid your body to rest on its clear water. I slowly retreated as you sank into the cold depths of what would become your last resting place.

Our journey went on. I found the truth about myself and Zack. I gave Sephiroth the Black Materia, causing the Planet to unleash four Weapons. Sephiroth summoned Meteor and ShinRa fell; we disposed of its last members then went after Sephiroth. After long hours of fighting, we managed to defeat him. It was then when I understood I could find you again in the Promised Land. I know that hurt Tifa a lot, but there's nothing I could do about it. I love you so much…

Once outside the Northern Crater, we watched in disbelief as Holy merged with Meteor, lending it more strength to destroy our beloved Planet instead of stopping it. Then, the Lifestream came. I honestly believe you sent it to protect us all; in fact, I believe that's one of the reasons the Planet decided to take you from us, so you could protect us in the end.

And you did. Meteor was destroyed and Midgar is safe and sound… if you call the mess that was left behind safe and sound. Everybody moved out of there as soon as they could. It is now a monument to remind us what greed and lust for power and money can do to us.

Our friends are doing good, last thing I heard. Yuffie went back to Wutai with most of our Materia; she and her dad, as well as the rest of the town, seem to be doing great. Barret and Marlene moved to Kalm along with Elmyra. She's helping Barret raise Marlene properly. Marlene even calls her "grandma". Tifa's in Kalm, too. She bought the bar with her share of the group's money, and she's doing great. Red went back to Cosmo Canyon to take Bugenhagen's place as protector of the Canyon. Cid married Shera and he's still planning on going back into space. His new rocket, "Highwind II", is coming along fine. Vincent disappeared soon after Meteor was destroyed. A few months before that, we found out he, Reeve and the Turks moved to Junon. They now run a private investigation agency, and even though work's scarce for them, they don't complain about it.

And me… well, I'm here at Costa del Sol, hoping you will keep your word… You remember it, don't you? You promised you'd be back when all was over. Well, everything's over now. It's been over for almost a year now, and I still haven't seen you, or heard from you. Not even in my dreams… But that's just as fine, because…

I love you and I'll wait for you forever…


End file.

Final Fantasy VII, Angst, Fantasy