Beverly Hills 90210 1. Brenda Walsh

Brenda Walsh

**Brenda Walsh**

Brenda Walsh turned the thick, cream card over in her hands, watching as the gold lettering caught the sunlight streaming through her bedroom window. She sighed and put the card down on her dressing table. The words on it seemed so alien, it was all part of a different world, and it belonged to a different Brenda Walsh. "_You are invited to the West Beverly Hills High School, Class of 1993, 10 Year Reunion_." Another note had been tucked into the envelope it had been handwritten on pink paper. "_Bren, I know this is probably a bolt out of the blue, but it won't be that same if you're not there. It's time we were all together again, time to bury the past. Love Donna_."

God if anyone could make her feel guilty it was Donna, guilty for being away from them all for nearly nine years, guilty for not going to Donna and David's wedding. She'd received the invite and Donna's note and something in the pink, perfumed paper made her get on a plane and fly from New York to Beverly Hills. It had been too long since she'd made the journey home and now here she was, sitting in the bedroom of her teenage years, listening to Brandon taking a shower, as if she was sixteen years old again.

Taking a deep breath, Brenda picked up the phone and dialled the now familiar number on the back of the invite.

"Hello, Silver residence." Donna's voice rang clearly down the line.

"Donna, it's Brenda."

"Bren, oh my god. How are you?" Donna sounded exactly like her excited sixteen-year-old self and Brenda was hit by a wave of nostalgia.

"I'm in town, for the reunion."

"I didn't think you'd come."

"I'm still not sure I will, it's been a long time Donna." Brenda was nervous, she felt like a complete stranger back in her old life, she didn't know where she fitted in with her old friends and their new lives.

"It'll be okay Brenda, besides you can always bail if it gets too much." Donna as always was looking on the bright side, she'd spent months organising the reunion and not even Brenda Walsh throwing a tantrum was going to ruin it for her.

"Believe me I've thought about it." Brenda smiled, Donna's excitement was contagious and part of her was curious about how everyone's lives had turned out.

"Look Bren, about the venue, it wasn't my idea, the rest of the committee out voted me."

"Donna, it's fine, it weirded me out a little at first but really I'm ok with it." Weirded out was an understatement, Brenda had been freaked when she found out they were holding the reunion in the same hotel where she had first slept with Dylan. It had been like her sixteen-year-old self was taunting her, so sweet and naïve; she'd have saved herself a lot of heartache if she'd said no that night. The sound of the shower being turned off snapped Brenda back to the present.

"Don, Brandon's finally got out of the shower, so I'm going to wash my hair."

"Okay, Bren. Hope to see you tonight." Donna sounded bright and breezy but she was worried about her friend.

"I promise I'll think about it." Brenda hung up the phone and headed for the bathroom.


	2. Donna & David Silver

Donna & David Silver Donna & David Silver

Donna clutched the pink cordless phone to her chest, listening to the tone for a moment before putting it back into its cradle. She turned to face her husband who was idly flicking through the TV channels.

"Is she coming?" David asked, looking up at his wife's worried face.

"I don't know, I think she might. Do you think I did the right thing inviting her?"

"Baby we went over this at the time, you couldn't not invite her, she'd of found out about it anyway. Besides you two are friends." David stroked his wife's blonde hair hoping to soothe away her troubles.

"Do you think I should tell Dylan and Kelly that she might be there?" Donna's brain had leapt from one problem to another.

"No, Donna it's not your responsibility to worry about everyone else's past and present relationships. If Brenda threatens Dylan and Kelly, then that's their issue, not yours, bottom line is Brenda and Dylan dated in another lifetime, this isn't high school anymore. I'm sure everyone can behave like adults for one night." David loved the way Donna looked out for all their friends but the Brenda/Dylan/Kelly issue had been going on forever and it was starting to drive him mad.

"You're right, I know you're right, but maybe I should just call Kelly." Donna's hand reached for the phone and at the same time David put his arm around her waist and whirled her into the middle of the room. Kissing the top of her head and stroking her back he murmured in her ear. "I know something that'll take your mind off of all of them."

Donna giggled and tried to wriggle free of him before giving into the inevitable and letting David lead her upstairs to their bedroom.


	3. Dylan McKay

Dylan McKay

**Dylan McKay**

Dylan turned up the stereo to drown out his wife's latest tantrum, for once her temper wasn't aimed at him but it gave him no pleasure to hear her yelling at somebody else. REM's _Losing My Religion_ filled the bathroom as Dylan stepped under the hot spray of the shower, the water and the music muted the sound of Kelly yelling at the dry cleaning company that had failed to return her dress. Lathering his lean body in soap Dylan let his mind wander, would she be there tonight? Had the last six years changed her? Was she single? Dylan cursed as soap fell into his eyes, forcing him back to a reality that included Kelly hammering on his bathroom door and yelling at him to hurry up.

"In a minute Kel." He yelled back at her rinsing the suds out of his eyes.

"Hurry up Dylan, I won't let you make me late tonight." Kelly sounded furious which just made Dylan more determined to take his time.

"I'm not stopping you going without me." Dylan used a towel to clear the condensation from the mirror above the sink so that he could shave.

"You know I can't do that, just hurry up." Kelly stormed away from Dylan's bathroom door and headed towards her own bedroom.

Kelly Taylor-McKay

Kelly sat down in front of her dressing table to put the finishing touches to her make up. Her cheeks were flushed from shouting, she hated herself for turning into the sort of woman she'd always despised, a stressed out, have-it-all Beverly Hills wife who yelled at everyone from her husband to the boy who delievered their paper. She put out a full on, high-powered image and after a while she'd started to believe it herself. Maybe that was why she was losing Dylan, she could feel him slipping away from her and before long their friends would notice that all was not a bed of roses in the McKay house. Kelly's cell phone flashed on the table in front of her and she picked it up before she registered the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Kel, it's Donna. I didn't want to call the house in case Dylan picked up." Donna whispered down the phone.

""Why are you whispering? Why don't you want to speak to Dylan?" Donna's secrecy infuriated Kelly.

"I wanted to tell you something but I don't want David to know I told you, that's why I didn't want to speak to Dylan." Donna was still whispering.

"Get on with it Donna, I'm running late." Kelly tried to apply her eyeliner whilst balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

"I spoke to Brenda today." Donna paused to allow her news to sink in.

"What did she have to say?" Kelly put the eye pencil down and concentrated on Donna.

"She's in town, but I don't know if she's coming tonight, she seemed a little bit freaked to be honest."

"Well even if she does I'm sure we can all behave like mature adults, we've moved on." Even though she heard herself saying the words Kelly didn't entirely believe them. Brenda Walsh could be the final nail in the coffin for her marriage.

"Yeah that's what I thought, I just figured you deserved a heads up." Kelly could almost hear Donna's smile and she played along for her friend's benefit.

"I'm sure it'll be great Donna, you've worked so hard to organise this reunion. Anyway it'll be nice to see Brenda again, we're friends after all." Kelly hung up the phone and stared at her reflection, the years had been kind to her, she didn't look to dissimilar from the nineteen-year-old she'd been when she last saw Brenda. Of course nature had been helped along the way by her cosmetic surgeon but it had all been discreetly done and Kelly knew she looked good. Who cared that these days the highlights in her blonde hair came from an expensive salon rather than the sun? Or that her toned body was the result of hours spent with a personal trainer and not playing volleyball on the beach? Defiantly finishing her make up and turning her back on her reflection Kelly went in search of Dylan.


	4. Brandon Walsh

Brandon Walsh Brandon Walsh

"Bren, are you going to be ready any time in the next century?" Brandon was standing in the hall of his parents' home yelling up the stairs at his twin sister. For a brief moment he felt as if he hadn't moved on at all, then his brain reasoned that he'd always be waiting for Brenda, whether they were eighteen, twenty-eight or ninety-eight. He was tingling with the anticipation of seeing his friends again, he met up with them all individually at least a couple of times a year but the last time they'd all been together had been Dylan and Kelly's wedding two years ago and even then Brenda hadn't shown up. It was what she was famous for, not attending group gatherings and he was known for making her excuses. Adding her name to the gifts he bought and the cards he sent but in truth he could count on his fingers the number of times he'd seen his sister in the last nine years, since she'd moved to London.

"Brenda, tonight please not next year!" Brandon heard a car pull into the drive. "I'm almost ready Brandon." Brenda yelled back

"You're always almost ready, the car's here now Brenda." Brandon opened the door before Steve could knock on it. "Hey buddy, we're almost ready." He said by way of a greeting.

"We?" Steve looked momentarily confused before he saw Brenda walking down the stairs behind Brandon.

"My word, Brenda Walsh. To what do we owe the honour?" Steve got over the shock of seeing Brenda quickly enough to deliver his trademark wit.

"Looking good Steve." Brenda noticed that Steve's hairline was receding and that his stomach muscles had softened over the years.

"Same to you, Bren." Steve looked Brenda up and down taking in her trim figure clad in a short silver dress, her glossy dark hair and her smoky eyes that seemed to be laughing at a private joke. He whistled softly at her and Brenda felt a flush rise in her cheeks, she reached out and slapped him lightly to diffuse the situation.

"No date Steve?" Brenda was surprised Steve was going to the reunion stag, she'd heard from Brandon that he'd got married, it had been yet another gathering she hadn't attended.

"Divorced six months ago. I'm back to being young free and single, just like high school except I get to see my daughter at weekends."

"I'm sorry." Brenda felt ashamed that she hadn't known that Steve's marriage had broken up.

"Hey guys, we'd better get a move on, Donna won't be impressed if we're late." Brandon ushered them towards the door.

"Are you sure I should go?" Brenda looked up into her brother's open, honest face and noticed for the first time that he'd aged.

"Yes Bren, you should go, you've been running away from everyone for too long. Now can we go?"


	5. Flavour Of The Old Skool

Flavour Of The Old Skool Flavour Of The Old Skool

Brenda held her breath as the Corvette pulled up outside the hotel, she couldn't believe how nervous she felt, butterflies raced in her stomach and her mouth felt dry. She reached out and squeezed Brandon's hand at least she wouldn't have to walk in alone.

"Okay kids, here we go." Quipped Steve from the front of the car as the valet opened the door.

Donna ran through a mental check list, she'd spent so long organising the reunion that she was certain something was going to go wrong. The room looked incredible, a huge screen played the videos David had made during their high school years, proms and pep rallies from years gone by restored to digital quality. Hundreds of small round tables with golden chairs, covered with white and blue linen, and lit by candle-light, provided seating, and around the walls blown up copies of year book photos brought everyone face-to-face with their eighteen year old selves.

Dylan and Kelly posed for a photographer in front of a blue backdrop, their arms around each other and smiles on their faces, looking every inch the perfect married couple.

"Look this way please." The photographer urged, "And smile," A flash illuminated them momentarily and the instant the picture was taken they sprang apart.

"I'm going to see if Brandon's arrived." Dylan moved away from his wife.

"Right, I'll see if I can find Donna." Kelly nervously ran her hands over her hips, her black velvet dress clung to her curves and exposed her collarbone. "Dylan, there's something you should know."

The tone of her voice made Dylan look his wife in the eyes. "What is it?"

"Brenda's here tonight. Probably." Kelly dropped her eyes away from Dylan's gaze, she couldn't bear to see the confused, hurt look in his eyes.

"My Brenda?" Dylan's voice caught in his throat. Kelly had had enough.

"No Dylan, not 'your Brenda' she stopped being 'your Brenda' when you started sleeping with me, which was before high school ended. You did the dirty and she left you. Get over it." Kelly turned on her Jimmy Choo heel and walked away from him.

Dylan stood, paralysed on the spot where his wife left him, he was staring at Brenda Walsh's year book photograph, blown-up to more than life-size he was faced with the girl who had, once upon a time, stolen his heart. He hadn't even been looking but somehow she'd slipped into his life and made even his pathetic existence seem worthwhile. Dylan wanted a drink, for the first time in years he headed for the bar in search of scotch.

"Oh my god!" Brenda gripped Brandon's arm and stared across the room.

"What?! Ouch!" Brandon pulled away from her and followed his twin's gaze. "Brenda its just Andrea, we should go and say hi." Brandon started to walk.

"Bran, not Andrea. Dylan." Brenda couldn't stop staring, after all these years the sight of him still made her heart jolt.

"You knew he'd be here Bren, Kelly's probably around here somewhere too." Brandon looked at his sister wishing he knew what was going through her head.

"I know, I guess I hadn't prepared for the fact that he'd still be 'Dylan' you know?" Brenda knew she wasn't making any sense.

"Not really. Look Bren, you're an adult, go over and say hi to him, you've moved on from high school."

"You're right, I should be an adult about this." Brenda kissed her brother on the cheek and turned towards where Dylan was standing.

Brandon shook his head as he watched his sister walk away from him. He thought he knew her as well as he knew himself but he suddenly felt unsure. _Brenda couldn't still be into Dylan, because if she was the night was about to get very interesting_.


	6. Here We Are

Here We Are Here We Are

Dylan stood at the bar with a tumbler of scotch in his hands, he swirled the amber liquid watching as it coated the sides of the glass. It was taking every ounce of his will power not to drink it. Brenda Walsh had saved him from alcoholism once upon a time and now the memory of her was threatening to tip him off the wagon. He'd always known that one day he'd have to face her again, to explain why he'd left her in London and why he hadn't come to find her when she'd moved to New York.

Brenda had recognised Dylan's profile the second she laid eyes on him, she wasn't sure that she would after all these years but it was as if he hadn't changed. The line of his broad shoulders, his strong muscular back, the way his hair curled slightly at the nape of his neck, it was all exactly the same as the young man she remembered, Brenda's hands tingled with an ache to reach out and touch him. Then she noticed the glass in his hands, without thinking she stepped towards him and reached out to touch the tumbler.

Dylan felt Brenda's presence before he saw her, like the air changed around him, everything became blurred and muted, the only clarity came from the small white hand against his on the tumbler. As their skin touched she pulled away as if she'd been electrocuted.

"Sorry." She mumbled, her eyes looking down at the glass.

"Bren?" Dylan managed to put a thousand questions into the one word and Brenda wasn't sure she knew the answer to any of them.

"Hi Dylan." Brenda felt almost shy under his gaze, his eyes told a story that went far beyond his twenty-eight years and she wasn't sure she wanted to meet them. She'd come so close, so many times to picking up the phone and calling him, that now he was right in front of her she didn't know what to say.

"You look good." Dylan felt weird, he couldn't believe how little she had changed, her hair was sleeker and eyes were wiser but she still looked like 'his Brenda'. It was like being transported back into high school and he had to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and kissing her. She was making him nervous, standing there trying not to look at him. He pulled out a bar stool. "Sit down Bren, I don't bite."

"That's not how I remember it," Brenda regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth and she felt a flush creep across her face. Dylan smiled, he loved the way Brenda blushed when she was flustered, it proved to him that despite her sophisticated image she wasn't as together as she looked. Brenda caught Dylan's eye and smiled back, for a second it was as if they weren't separated by a chasm of unsaid truths and broken promises, she sat down next to him and ordered a mineral water.

"You can have a drink if you want, don't worry about me." Dylan was surprised that Brenda wasn't drinking.

"Thanks Dylan, but I'm really not that much of a drinker, too many bad memories associated with alcohol." Brenda sipped her water and tilted her head slightly to get a better look at him. "You look good." She meant it he looked so much like 'her Dylan' that she couldn't believe how much time had passed since she'd last been near him.

"I feel good, I'm finally in a good place in my life. How about you? I didn't think I'd ever see you in Beverly Hills again."

"To be honest neither did I, but when I got Donna's invite I got this urge to stop running and come home. Brandon says I'm finally growing up." Brenda smiled wryly. "I can't believe how much everyone's changed, I guess I kept Beverly Hills in a bubble and thought it would be exactly the same as I left it."

"Are you disappointed that it's not?" Dylan watched as Brenda shifted uncomfortably, he didn't want to push her but at the same time he was scared that if he stopped asking questions she'd disappear.

"I'm pleased for everyone, from what Brandon's told me the whole gang's doing really well." Brenda smiled.

"Yeah we are, it's you that's the mystery. How long are you back in LA?" "Three months, I've got a job on a TV series, just eight episodes but combined with the reunion it gave me the kick I needed to actually get on the plane."

"That's great Bren, congratulations." Dylan was genuinely happy for her.

"Thanks, I hear you've not done to badly, I gather that you now own the  
Bel-Age hotel rather than live in it, and you own the Peach Pit amongst other places." Brenda was really pleased that Dylan had done well, there had been a moment in their past when she'd been scared he wouldn't make their ten year reunion, that she'd be going to his funeral instead.

"Yeah the hotel reopens next week, The London West Hollywood, new name, new start, I guess I'm laying some old demons to rest, and it seems I have a knack for business, I guess I learnt something from all those years watching those men in suits that used to hang around with my dad." Dylan felt uncomfortable talking about himself but at the same time he couldn't help but feel proud of how he'd turned his life around.

"Good for you Dylan, I mean it, you've come a long way since we were last together." Brenda meant the words but she felt her throat stick when she thought about the last time she'd seen Dylan.


	7. Hey That's My Dylan

Hey That's My Dylan

**Hey That's My Dylan**

Kelly stood on tiptoe watching Dylan talking to Brenda, craning her neck to see them more clearly. The rest of the gang could tell how anxious she was but none of them knew how to broach the somewhat thorny issue of Dylan and Brenda. The conversation swirled around her while she struggled to figure out why Dylan was looking so intently at Brenda, it was definitely more than just catch up chat.

"So Brandon, things are going well in Washington DC?" Donna asked brightly, not taking her concerned blue eyes away from Kelly.

"Yeah, everything's good, it's great to be home though, I'm looking forward to heading to the beach tomorrow." Brandon was also watching Brenda and Dylan, he had a horrible feeling that his sister was stirring up trouble.

"Are we still doing that?" Andrea was a little surprised that Brandon was still planning on having the beach party she figured things would be awkward enough with Brenda back, without throwing her and Dylan together for two nights in a row.

"Sure we are. How often do we get the chance to kick back and pretend we're still young?" Steve was determined to go ahead with their plans he wanted to prove to the others that he was over the worst of his divorce, that he was ready to start having fun.

"That settles it then, barbeques and moonlight swimming are on for tomorrow night. David have you sorted the sound system?" Brandon wasn't prepared to let Brenda ruin the reunion for everyone else she'd been away for too long for them to start tip-toeing around her.

"Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem, but I've got to do my show before I head down to the beach, so you'll have to make do with what you've got until I get there."

Kelly was dimly aware of the others talking, she couldn't take her eyes off of Brenda. The distance between them both in geography and time had allowed Kelly to imagine how Brenda might have changed over the years and her imaginings had never been very flattering, what Kelly hadn't prepared for was the fact that Brenda looked almost exactly the same. Well not exactly the same, she was slimmer and sleeker, her inky black hair was incandescent, her pale skin was luminous and her grey-green eyes sparkled, but she was still Brenda. Kelly had pushed Brenda to the back of her mind and concentrated on putting all her energy into her relationship with Dylan, after all she'd won, he'd chosen her, he'd married her, but at the back of her mind there was a fear that one day she would have to pay for what she did to Brenda so many years ago. Like Kelly only had Dylan on loan until Brenda decided she wanted him back.

Kelly slowly became aware that someone was talking to her, she snapped out of her thoughts and found herself staring into Donna's questioning blue eyes.

"Kel? Are you okay?" Donna asked nervously, playing with the orchid corsage on her wrist.

"Hmm, what?" It dawned on Kelly that the others were looking at her, concern etched on their faces.

"Erm yeah, I'm fine, it's just a shock, you know seeing Brenda after all this time." Kelly looked at Brandon, hoping for reassurance that his sister wasn't out to steal her husband. It was reassurance he couldn't offer.

"You've got to admit she looks great." Announced Steve with his usual level of tact, as he watched Brenda's clingy silver dress catching the light thrown out from the bar.

"Yeah she does. So Brandon what's the story? Is she back for good or just this weekend?" David asked the questions Kelly was to scared to pose herself.

"I don't really know myself, she hasn't talked to me about her plans." Brandon found himself in the familiar role of explaining Brenda's actions. "I kind of bullied her into coming tonight, I don't know the ins and outs of what happened in London or what kept her away for so long but I'm trying to convince her to stop running. At least for a while." Brandon watched as his sister leaned closer to Dylan and felt that he hardly knew her at all.

As the group watched Dylan and Brenda they all felt a pang of nostalgia for their high school years, for the people they were and the dreams they had.


	8. Talk A Little, Listen A Lot

Talk A Little, Listen A Lot

**Talk A Little, Listen A Lot**

Dylan stroked Brenda's naked shoulder, brushing away stray tendrils of glossy black hair. He marvelled at how soft and warm her skin felt under his fingers, and how natural it felt to touch her.

"I guess I owe you some explanations about the way I behaved in London." Dylan knew that he'd treated Brenda badly, he'd tortured himself over the years for the way he'd behaved. She hadn't deserved it.

"There was a time when I had so many questions for you, but now I'm not so sure. I've done okay so far without the answers." Brenda looked up at Dylan through her eyelashes, the nearness to him was almost dizzying, she could smell him and it pulled her straight back to high school. A heady mix of sun and surf, sandalwood, citrus and wax, it made Brenda feel instantly happy, yet full of sorrow at the same time, an ache for the closeness they once shared.

"Does that mean you don't want to talk about it?" Dylan had never imagined that Brenda would be able to just move beyond what had happened in London, he'd had almost no contact with her in the intervening six years, their solicitors had dealt with all the legal issues, the last time he'd heard from Brenda had been a card just after he'd married Kelly, it had been waiting for him when they got back from their honeymoon.

"No, we're both here now, let's try to be adult about it. But not here Dylan, we're being watched, it's making me edgy." Brenda tilted her head towards their friends, Dylan flickered his eyes in Kelly's direction. _If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man_ he thought.

"I see what you mean. Do you want to go up to the roof terrace? I've got a room here tonight, we could go there?" He jangled a key at her.

"I think the roof terrace is a safer option, don't you? I remember the last time we found ourselves alone in a room here." Brenda caught sight of the number on the key. "That room, if I remember rightly."

"Maybe you're right, roof terrace then." Dylan started to steer Brenda away from the bar and towards the elevators, he could feel Kelly's eyes burning holes in his back, and for once he didn't care.

Kelly couldn't contain herself any longer as she watched Dylan slipping away with Brenda.

"What the hell is she playing at?" Kelly hissed at Donna.

"I'm sure it's nothing Kelly, they're just catching up." Donna tried to sound sincere but she didn't really believe there was any truth in what she was saying.

Brenda stepped out onto the roof terrace and breathed in the California smog, lush green plants in terracotta pots gave the terrace the look of a jungle, small tables lit by candles nestled amongst the foliage offering secluded seating.

Dylan pulled out a chair and gestured for Brenda to sit down before taking a seat opposite her.

"So." Dylan didn't know where to start.

"So?" The reality of being alone with Dylan was dawning on Brenda, and it made her nervous.

"I guess I wanted to say sorry, for what happened in London, I was in a bad place and I should never have taken it out on you." Dylan had the decency to look Brenda in the eyes.

"I wanted to be there for you Dylan, I was pleased that you came to me. I was lonely in London until you arrived." Brenda reached out to touch Dylan's hand.

"After Toni died I felt so low, I had to get away from Beverly Hills and away from everything that had happened. Being with you I could forget everything, I felt like we were sixteen again. You brought out the best in me." Dylan smiled at Brenda, a sweet shy smile.

"I know what you mean, you showed me a whole new world and taught me about the person I could be. Looking back maybe we clung to each other too tightly." Brenda had had a lot of time to reflect on her relationship with Dylan, everything between them had always been so intense, so all or nothing, that they'd never taken time to slow down and look at where they were heading.

"I shouldn't have married you." Dylan looked away from Brenda as he spoke.


	9. Man & Wife

Man & Wife

**Man & Wife**

"Well thanks. That makes me feel special." Brenda couldn't keep the sarcasm from her voice.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I shouldn't have married you when I was still grieving for Toni." Dylan's voice cracked.

"Maybe, I was hurt at the time that you'd married anyone else at all. I guess I always thought we'd end up together."

"In another life, in another place we could have been wonderful together Brenda Walsh."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can always ask me anything." Dylan felt more relaxed

"Why did you just leave?" Brenda could still feel the pain of arriving home one day to find that Dylan had left. She'd known he was gone the moment she'd put her key in the lock, she hadn't been able to sense him, it was like part of her was missing. His clothes were missing from their wardrobe, his toiletries were gone from their bathroom. A note had been on her pillow, the simple words had hurt her more than anything she'd ever felt in her life.

_Bren, I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. Always Dylan._

"I was dragging you down I never wanted to do that. You were the one person I've never wanted to hurt and I seem to keep on doing it. I guess by leaving I felt I was giving you the chance to become the person I knew you could be." Dylan looked at Brenda's beautiful, trusting face. "Since I've been clean I've gone over and over everything I did to you and I've never been able to talk to anyone about it. My friends have a low enough opinion of me without me confirming all their worst suspicions."

"Have you told Kelly?" Brenda couldn't believe that there was a part of Dylan's history that only she was part of.

"No. She loves me for who I am now, I'm not sure she could cope with who I was then, it doesn't fit with her idea of a husband."

"It wasn't exactly mine either." Brenda smiled in spite of the swell of emotions that were threatening to drown her. She hadn't thought about her brief marriage to Dylan for a long time, it had been legally over for two years but for her it had ended long before the ink was on the paper.


	10. For Better, For Worse

For Better, For Worse

**For Better, For Worse**

As she looked back Brenda knew that she'd married Dylan as a way of holding onto him. He'd proposed on a cold, rainy night as they ran back to their flat from the theatre she'd been working in. Dripping wet and shivering he'd taken her hands in his and asked her to marry him. He'd been in London for six months, Toni had been dead for just under seven. She'd said yes in a heartbeat, she'd been so happy to have Dylan back in her life that she was terrified of losing him. They'd got married in a small registry office, just the two of them with Brenda's agent and their next door neighbour for witnesses. It was miles away from the big white wedding Brenda had once fantasised about.

London, 1997

_The first few months had been a whirlwind, like they were back in high school and caught up in a world made of just the two of them. Then real life had come crashing in, Dylan wasn't working and the money Brenda made from small theatre roles and waiting tables barely covered their bills. Brenda worked herself into the ground as Dylan sunk into depression, she'd known he'd started drinking again but was too scared to say anything, kidding herself that as long as he was drinking he wasn't doing harder drugs. Then he'd started stealing, it was so small she barely noticed it at first, just putting it down to her own forgetfulness. A few pounds from her purse, loose change from the dish they kept in the hall, but then it got bigger, her jewellery started to go missing and their friends, mostly struggling actors and musicians, started to complain that things were disappearing from their homes. Then she'd caught him in the act, they were at a party and she spotted Dylan going through coats and jackets looking for money. In that moment Brenda forced herself to look at her husband, her Dylan, through the eyes of a stranger and she'd realised the man that she was in love with wasn't there. That was when they'd started fighting and when she'd finally realised that he was using heroin. From that point onwards their marriage had been one long argument. Brenda couldn't make herself leave him, some days he'd be 'her Dylan' and she loved him more than anything in the world, she tried to get him into countless rehab programmes and 12-step plans but every time he slipped back she felt she was failing him. Then one day she'd got home from work and he'd been gone. She'd kept tabs on him through Brandon, tracking his slow but sure recovery, but her only contact with Dylan himself had been a letter from his lawyer requesting a divorce. Then Brandon told her that Dylan was marrying Kelly._

"I wanted to get in touch and clear the air between us we got divorced. I've felt so bad for so long." Dylan was ashamed of the man he used to be and he couldn't quite meet Brenda's eyes.

"Why didn't you?" Brenda had agreed to the divorce because she hadn't wanted to be tied to Dylan anymore.

"Because I was marrying Kelly, it would have felt too much like rubbing your face in it."

"I was surprised when I heard, I didn't think you'd ever get married again."

"Neither did I, it looks like I shouldn't have done, but my problems with Kelly are another story for another night." Dylan let out a long sigh.

"Not exactly marital bliss then?" Brenda couldn't help but smile.

"Bliss is pretty far from the state of my marriage. You know me and Kelly, its good for a while and then we start to drive each other mad." Dylan shrugged.

"So why did you marry her?"

"Because she helped me, because somehow, whatever happens I feel connected to her, she's been such a huge part of my history, of the good things in my life that I guess I wanted to hold onto her. We'd reached the point where it was get married or split up."

"It sounds like you married her for a lot of the reasons you married me." Brenda was hurt, she didn't expect to always be the number one woman in Dylan's life but she did hope that some things were just between them.

"It's not like that Bren, you were the first girl I ever fell in love with. You made me take control of my life when I had no one else in the world. I owe you everything Bren, without you I probably wouldn't be here today." Dylan meant it. He'd been a loner when he'd met Brenda and Brandon, a messed up sixteen year old with no one in the world to care about him and no one in the world that he cared about. Brenda and her family had helped him become a real person.

"Dylan?" Brenda looked up at him, feeling almost apprehensive, the air clearing had made her feel almost shy around him, as if they'd been too honest.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about me?"

Dylan smiled, "Brenda Walsh, I think about you all the time." Dylan looked into her eyes and leaned closer to her.


	11. Girl Chat & Guy Talk

Girl Chat & Guy Talk

**Girl Chat & Guy Talk**

"It's certainly weird seeing Brenda again isn't it?" Andrea asked Donna as she moved closer to the mirror to touch up her lipstick.

"Yeah it is. Have you heard from her much since she left?" Donna combed her blonde hair with her fingers, teasing out the knots.

"She sends Hannah a birthday card every year, but I've not actually spoken to her for ages. I didn't even realise she was living in New York until Brandon mentioned it." Andrea saw the troubled look on Donna's face, "What's the matter Donna?"

"I've just got this feeling that tonight's about to fall apart. I've worked so hard on this reunion and now there's this weird atmosphere." Donna shook her head slightly as if she was trying to shake off the feeling.

"Tonight's going great Donna, you've done a really good job, it's like being in high school again." Andrea smiled.

"Well there are some parts of high school I'd rather not be reliving." Andrea and Donna turned around as they heard a flush and Kelly came out of the stall.

"Come on Kelly, Brenda's not here to get Dylan back." Donna put her arm around her friend.

"How do you know that?" Kelly snapped at Donna.

"Because she can't have spent the last nine years pining after him and left it this long to do something about it." Andrea tried to be rational but even she'd felt the nostalgia for the old days when she'd seen Brenda and Dylan together.

"Six years. It's six years since they've seen each other, he went to live with her after Toni died, and I still have no idea what went on between them in London or why he came back." Kelly could see the façade of her happy marriage crumbling before her eyes.

"Oh, come on Kelly none of that matters, Dylan married you, he chose you." Andrea tried to sound reassuring.

"Yeah, do you guys remember high school, they were inseparable, even when they broke up, she'd shout and he'd go running."

"Kelly, this isn't high school. Dylan isn't going to leave you just because Brenda's back in town." Donna chewed on her bottom lip. She didn't like the feeling that she was about to end up back in the middle of the 'Brenda-Dylan-Kelly' battle.

"I'm just not so sure, Brenda was always the one test Dylan and I could never survive. Plus you know Brenda once she puts her mind to something." Kelly knew she should be feeling reassured by her friends but they didn't know the true state her marriage was in.

"So come on Brandon, what's the deal with Brenda?" Steve turned on Brandon as soon as the ladies headed towards the bathroom.

"I have no idea, I wasn't even sure she was definitely coming to Beverly Hills until she turned up on the doorstep this morning."

"Well she's got Kelly rattled." Steve was worried, he knew Kelly better than anyone and he knew she was lying about how perfect everything was between her and Dylan.

"Yeah and she's not even spoken to her." David had been on the fringes of the gang when Dylan and Brenda had been going steady but he remembered how intense it had been.

"Well Brenda never was one to be distracted from her main goal." Steve looked Brandon in the eyes. Since he'd got divorced the gang had been like his safety net, they'd picked him up and helped him sort himself out. They might be scattered across the country but they were as close as ever and he didn't want Brenda messing it all up.

"Look Steve I'm not my sister's keeper, I've barely seen her in the last nine years. I have no idea what her plans are or what she's looking for in coming back here." Brandon was sick of being answerable for Brenda's actions.

"Well she'd better be careful Brandon, this isn't some high school romance she's playing with, this is a marriage, Kelly's marriage."

"Don't you think Dylan has a role to play here? Even if Brenda does want him back maybe he doesn't want her." Brandon had the feeling he was clutching at straws.

"Well it certainly looked like he wants her."


	12. We Can't Undo This

We Can't Undo This

**We Can't Undo This**

Brenda pulled away slightly as Dylan moved closer to her, she wasn't sure she could do this, she'd spent six years convincing herself she was over Dylan McKay but if she let him kiss her it would all be over. It was like the world was moving in slow motion, the curve of his cheek bones, his brown eyes framed by the longest eyelashes she ever saw on a guy, it was all so familiar. Dylan looked into Brenda's eyes, as if he was asking for her permission, he didn't know where any of this was going but he did know that kissing Brenda always made everything seem clearer.

Brenda gave in, in her heart she'd known from the first moment she'd seen him that she'd end up kissing him. It felt exactly how she remembered, his soft lips were firm against hers, there was no tentative hesitation, he kissed her as fiercely and passionately as he had when they'd been seventeen year olds hiding from her parents. He even tasted the same. As Dylan deepened the kiss Brenda's mind whirled, presenting her with a slideshow of every time she'd ever kissed him, their tender yet intense first time right through to the painful, sorrow filled last time, stopping off at all the times in between when she shouldn't have been kissing him but was. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears and feel her heart pounding beneath her breast.

Some small part of Dylan's brain was telling him that he shouldn't be kissing Brenda, but then it seemed some part of his brain was always telling him that he shouldn't be kissing Brenda. He gave in to the kiss, he knew he'd started it, but she was kissing him back not pushing him away. It had always been like that between them, one of them would start something and the other would fall into it, regardless of how angry or upset they were. Dylan could feel his skin tingling from the sensation of Brenda's soft full lips on his, he ached for her in a way he didn't know was possible. He was scared to break the kiss and end the magic between them.

"I need some air, I'm going to head up to the roof." Brandon wanted to get away from the rest of the gang, the constant questions about Brenda were driving him mad.

"I'll come with you, I have to get out of here." Kelly linked her arm through Brandon's and let him steer her towards the elevators.

Brenda pulled away from Dylan.

"What do you want from me Dylan?" She almost whispered.

"I don't know Bren, all I know is that being right here with you makes sense." Dylan looked right into Brenda's eyes, he knew that he'd spent hours gazing at her and her beauty overwhelmed him every time.

"It makes sense right now, but what about later?"

"Let's not worry about later now, can't we just enjoy this moment." Dylan caught sight of the tattoo on Brenda's wrist, it was half hidden by her watch but he'd known where to look for it. _Dylan's Brenda_ written in a thin, black, curling script.

He ran his fingers over the letters. "You kept it?"

"I guess you had yours removed?" When they'd been married Dylan had had a matching tattoo, _Brenda's Dylan_, on his ankle.

"Yeah, Kelly wasn't too fond of it." Dylan smiled wryly at her.

"I'll bet. Did you tell her why you had it done?" Brenda liked that she and Dylan still had their secrets.

"No, she doesn't even know we were married. No one does." Dylan stood up and moved around the table, pulling Brenda to her feet and wrapping his arms around her. He rested his chin on top of her head and breathed in the sweet almond smell of her hair. "I've missed you Brenda." He murmured.

That was all it took, Brenda felt her knees weaken and she knew that she was done being sensible about Dylan McKay, she wrapped her arms around Dylan's broad shoulders and turned her face up towards him. He bent to kiss her, more tentatively than their first kiss, while that had been spontaneous this was planned, it was like they were signing a deal.

Brandon and Kelly stepped onto the terrace just in time to see Brenda's lips meet Dylan's, to see their eyes close and watch as their bodies melted into each other.

"Oh my God." Kelly's voice caught in her throat and Brandon felt her stumble against him.

Brenda and Dylan sprang apart and turned to stare at the sound of the disturbance.

"Kelly," Dylan's voice cracked.

"What are you playing at Bren?" The disappointment in Brandon's voice made Brenda's heart sink.

"Kelly this isn't how it looks?" Dylan moved away from Brenda and towards his wife.

Kelly managed to regain her balance and her voice. "It's always how it looks Dylan, there have always been three people in this marriage. I can't look at you right now." Kelly turned on her heel and walked away.

"You'd better sort this Brenda. We're not teenagers anymore." Brandon threw the words over his shoulder as he chased after Kelly.


	13. What Are We Doing?

What Are We Doing

**What Are We Doing?**

Brenda waited until Brandon had left the roof before calling out to Dylan, he still had his back to her and seemed reluctant to turn around.

"How is it then Dylan?" Brenda almost whispered, knowing her words would carry on the still air.

"What do you mean Bren?" Dylan sounded weary and Brenda got the feeling he was sick of her already.

"You told Kelly it's not how it looks. Well how is it then? What exactly are we doing?" Brenda's voice was calm, she hadn't come all this way for another showdown with Dylan.

"I don't know Bren, I think about you all the time, I buy theater magazines and read the arts section of the newspaper to see how you're doing. I guess what I don't think about is us, you know what would happen if you came back, if I'd still feel the same way."

"It certainly felt like you still have some feelings for me." Brenda knew she was giving him a hard time but she wanted him to come to his own conclusions.

"Yeah, and it felt good Bren, so good, but I don't know what I'm doing here. This isn't high school, she's my wife."

Brenda allowed herself a wry smile, "Well Dylan I can tell you something for nothing, being your ex-wife is worse than being just some girl you knew in high school."

"I've never thought of you as my ex-wife." Dylan's expression was pained he'd thought they were done with this years ago, the Brenda-Dylan-Kelly Bermuda triangle.

"That's what I am Dylan, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, ex-lover." Brenda looked right into his eyes at the last word. "I need to know where I stand with you, where we go from here."

"You want me to decide whether or not to leave my wife right here and now?" Dylan asked incredulously.

"No, but I once asked you to give me something to come back to, and I have to know whether there's a chance that you did." Brenda walked up to Dylan.

"Bren," Dylan grabbed her by the top of her arm as she tried to walk past him.

"I can't make you any promises."

"It's a good job, you'd probably break them." Brenda pulled away from him and carried on walking.

As she slumped against the plushly upholstered elevator wall, Brenda realised she'd been fighting back tears, only now could she admit that the main reason she'd come back to Beverly Hills was that she wanted Dylan. He was like a drug and he'd been calling out to her for too long. Brenda let the tears fall, she wanted Dylan back.

Dylan watched Brenda walk away from him, stunned at what had just happened, it was like someone was playing a cruel trick on him, after ten years and everything he'd been through he was right back where he'd started. Torn between Brenda and Kelly. He thought back to the fateful summer before their senior year, when Kelly had made a play for him and he hadn't been able to resist. He'd hurt Brenda that summer and at the time he hadn't even cared, Kelly had been offering him something far too intoxicating to resist, she'd been offering a much simpler relationship to the one he was in with Brenda and he'd rushed into it without a thought. _Okay McKay so what now?_ He asked himself, he'd known that there had been a chance he'd be running into Brenda tonight, even before Kelly had mentioned it. Just the thought of her had unlocked all his old feelings, they'd come back to him in a rush and he'd been stunned by their intensity. After all these years Brenda Walsh still made his heart beat faster and his throat feel tighter, made his hands itch with a need to touch her. The only thing he knew for sure was that if Brenda still made him feel this way there was something seriously wrong with the state of his marriage.


	14. I Won The Battle But I Lost The War

I Won The Battle But I Lost The War

**I Won The Battle But I Lost The War**

Donna, Steve, Andrea and David watched as Kelly ran from the elevator and across the lobby followed swiftly by Brandon.

"Kel, wait," Brandon chased after her, amazed at how quickly Kelly could move in three inch heels.

Donna exchanged a significant look with Andrea. Five minutes later their curiosity was rewarded by the sight of Brenda emerging from the elevator with tears staining her face. She met their eyes for a second before running out of the hotel.

Brandon caught up with Kelly in the hotel restaurant, it was empty apart from the staff who were cleaning down and resetting tables. She was standing by the huge windows that looked out onto the hotel garden, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold back the tears. Brandon wrapped his arms around her slender body and held her close to him, kissing the top of her head, overwhelmed by the fact that once upon a time he would have married this girl.

"Kelly I'm so sorry, I had no idea what Brenda was planning." He lifted her chin so that he was looking into her huge china blue eyes.

"Brandon, it's not your fault, it's not even Brenda's fault." Kelly managed a small smile.

"Yeah well I don't think Brenda's entirely blameless." Brandon was determined not to defend his sister.

"When it comes to Dylan I really think Brenda loses all perspective, he does that to you."

"Yeah I guess time doesn't change everything." Brandon looked at Kelly, it was the first time he'd seen her up close for a while, the illusion of everlasting youth was shattered. Her hair was brittle from over bleaching and there were faint lines around her eyes from too much time spent in the sun.

"Time makes it easier to pretend though." Kelly sank down onto one of the dining chairs and put her head in her hands.

Brandon sat down opposite her. "What's going on Kel?" Brandon cut to the chase.

"Is it that obvious?" Kelly looked up.

"Only because I know you, come on talk to me." Brandon met Kelly's eyes and the sincerity on his face almost made her cry.

"Okay, well I guess you've figured out that things aren't exactly great in the McKay-Taylor house."

"I never really understood why you married him Kel."

"To keep him, to prove that he's mine."

"Why would you need to do that?" Brandon was confused.

"Because he's Dylan, you don't know what it's like to love him Brandon. Not that brotherly love you have for him, but real heartbreaking love." Kelly watched as fat tears dropped onto the table between them, soaking the white linen.

"He's a free spirit, that's always the excuse I use for myself anyway, Dylan runs away when things get to hard or too real, by marrying him I thought I could hold onto him, change him, make him need me."

"And you couldn't do that. You can't change someone like Dylan."

"No, I made the same mistakes Brenda did back in high school, she learnt a lot earlier than I did that the more you try to control him, to plan a future with him the more he pushes you away." Kelly wiped her eyes. "I guess I always thought he'd grow up, and decide what he wants from life."

"He has changed Kelly, he's clean, he's successful."

"But he still runs away, whenever I try to make plans for our future he packs up his car and heads for Mexico. I can't carry on like this, I'm twenty-eight years old, I want kids and grandkids and a family home. The security I didn't have growing up. I'm sick of living in the beach house and eating at the Peach Pit every night. I've been waiting too long for Dylan to grow up." Kelly felt relieved to finally be talking to someone.

"So what about Dylan and Brenda?"

"I've always known that I'm not the love of Dylan McKay's life, I thought I could get over it with time but I've always known that if Brenda came back I'd lose him. Dylan and I are kindred spirits but Brenda's his soul-mate."

"You're not even going to fight for him?"

"I don't know, it's not just Brenda, my marriage to Dylan has been on the rocks for a long time, we don't sleep in the same bed anymore, in fact most nights we don't even sleep in the same house. We don't want the same things, I'm not sure we ever did."

"So you're giving up on your marriage, just like that, in one night." Brandon was amazed.

"No Brandon, I'm not giving up, I'm just too tired to fight anymore, I can't keep my life on hold while Dylan decides what he wants to do."

"So what now?" Brandon couldn't believe that Kelly was about to walk away from her marriage.

"I'm going to walk away, let him chase after me for a change, if he wants me Dylan has to realise it for himself if I push him he'll run. He's staying here tonight, in his and Brenda's room if you can believe it, he didn't even tell me so it's not like he wants me to stay. I'm going home." Kelly stood up and smoothed down the front of her dress.

"Do you want to share a cab?" Brandon stood up too, he couldn't believe how calm Kelly was being, when they'd walked onto the roof and spotted Brenda and Dylan together he'd been expecting Kelly to freak out, this measured rational reaction was worrying him.

"You're still the same sweet guy Brandon." Kelly stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, "I'll be fine, you stay and have fun."

"Nah, I think I'm going to head home. I've never been much of a party guy." Brandon threw his arm around Kelly's shoulders as they walked out of the restaurant.

"You want to check on Brenda?"

"I want to make sure she hasn't done something she'll regret."

"See Brandon Walsh, I told you you're a good guy."


	15. Family Ties

Family Ties

**Family Ties**

As Brandon paid the cab driver he noticed the hallway light was on in his parents' house, at least he wouldn't have to drive all over Beverly Hills looking for Brenda.

Brandon pushed open the front door and found Brenda sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, he knew she'd be there waiting for him to start telling her off. He didn't, he just sat down next to her and waited for her to start talking.

"I didn't mean to do it Bran, it didn't come here to break up Kelly and Dylan." Brenda twisted her fingers together in her hands. "I didn't expect to still have all these feelings for him, I kind of lose all perspective when he's around, like the world dims and all I can see is Dylan." Brenda could feel Brandon's shoulder against hers and took comfort in its warmth.

"I was a mess when I left here. I didn't feel like I belonged, like breaking up with Dylan had meant I'd broken up with everyone else too. I felt like I was making things difficult for everyone and it would be better if I just got out of Beverly Hills, admit it Brandon even you were sick of me." Brenda looked at her twin, into eyes that were so much like hers but at the same time filled with an innocence she couldn't remember ever having.

"You were a handful, doesn't mean I stopped loving you Bren, you're my twin, my other half I don't like the distance between us now, or the feeling that I was part of why you ran away nine years ago and never came back."

"Come on Brandon, the distance between us started before college, we've not been the same since we left Minnesota, I needed you to always be on my side and you weren't, there wasn't anything for me to stay around for." Brenda took Brandon's hand in her own, marvelling at how they still fit together just like when they were kids. Brandon rested his head against Brenda's and waited for her to carry on.

"So I left Beverly Hills because I was lonely and moved halfway round the world to be lonely in a new city, which believe me is a lot easier than being lonely surrounded by your friends. Then I heard about Dylan marrying Toni and I admit it, my heart broke just a little bit more, he'd moved on and met someone he loved enough to marry and I was still pining for my high school sweetheart."

"Come on Bren, there've been other guys for you since Dylan, you were going to elope in college."

"There haven't been other guys for me, there hasn't been anyone I trusted enough to let into my heart, not really. I guess that's the problem when your soul-mate breaks your heart in high school, it stays broken." Brenda knew that Brandon would think she was being melodramatic but she carried on talking before he could interrupt.

"When I heard Toni had died I knew that Dylan was about to find his way back to me, via Baja of course. I felt alive, for the first time since leaving high school I felt really alive, I was with someone who made my world sparkle, who loved me and challenged me." Brenda took a deep breath, knowing that she was about to shock Brandon and that he would be furious with her.

"I guess we were having such a good time that we didn't stop to think about where we were going or what we were doing. We got married." Brenda dropped her eyes away from Brandon's face, waiting for him to react, he seemed to be paralysed for a second before what she had said dawned on him.

"You got married?!" Brandon stood up and stepped away from his sister, he turned his back on her then whirled back around to face her, Brenda stayed where she was looking up at him as he processed what was happening.

"You married Dylan McKay and you didn't think to tell anyone?"

Brenda nodded, she wasn't sure saying anything would help the situation.

"Does Kelly know?" Brenda shook her head still not trusting herself to speak.

"Well I guess she was right all along there really were three people in her marriage." Brandon ran out of steam and sat back down. "Why Bren? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because everyone would have tried to stop us, they'd have said it was too soon after Toni died, they would have been right by the way." Brenda managed a smile.

""You guys are divorced aren't you?" Brandon suddenly had a horrible feeling that Dylan was a bigamist.

"Yeah, we got divorced two years ago, just before he married Kelly." Brenda cursed herself for the bitterness in her voice.

"Well that's one thing you did right I suppose. So what happened, why did it go wrong?"

"I can't tell you all the details Brandon, some of it is too raw, too personal, it belongs to me and Dylan. But you saw him when he got back from London, I don't need to tell you life wasn't exactly a bed of roses."

"He was a mess when he came back, I never had any idea that you two had been steady out there, I knew you were together but I didn't know how intense it had got."

"Yeah well that's me and Dylan, we can't do anything without secrecy and drama, I wasn't in such good shape when he left London."

"Has there been anyone else since?"

"Nothing serious, I date but I don't let people get close to me any more, I've been hurt too many times by the love of my life."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know, I've signed the contract with the show, I did it to stop me running away, I guess I picked up some of Dylan's bad habits. I'm going to be in Beverly Hills for a while, but I'll be keeping a low profile."

"Look, I shouldn't be telling you this Bren but it sounds to me like Kelly and Dylan's marriage has been on the rocks for a while."

"So why are you telling me this?" Brenda was confused Brandon would never betray a confidence for no reason.

"Because I think you need to know all the facts before you decide what to do next." Brandon felt bad for betraying Kelly's confidence but the knowledge that Brenda and Dylan had been married had shifted things in his mind.

"Where's Kelly now?"

"She's at the beach house, I think you know where to find Dylan." Brandon watched as Brenda stood up, digging the keys to her rental car out of her purse. "What are you going to do?"

"I won't know until I start driving." She kissed her twin on the cheek, "Thanks for listening to me Brandon."


	16. The Rest Of My Life

The Rest Of My Life

4

**The Rest Of My Life**

Brenda drove for what felt like hours, taking herself down familiar roads and past landmarks that mapped out her high school years, the beach, the Peach Pit, Kelly's house, Donna's place, the Bel-Age Hotel, the school itself. With the top down on the Porsche she let the breeze blow through her hair in an attempt to clear the tangled mess in her head. No matter how she looked at it she was being drawn to Dylan, she had always been drawn to Dylan and she was scared of how powerful it felt. Brenda hit play on the CD, REM's _Losing My Religion_ filled the car and sailed out onto the night air, she let the song roll over her in waves. She'd lost count of the number of times she'd played it over the years, every time it made her heart constrict and her eyes well up.

Dylan lay on his back staring at the hotel room ceiling, Brenda Walsh had turned his head inside out. She always did that to him, every time he saw her it was like the breath was knocked out of him, his heart skipped and his hands tingled with a need to touch her. He'd only gone to the reunion because he'd hoped she would be there and he wanted to test himself, to see how his body and his brain would react to her. When he closed his eyes Kelly's face appeared, the look of disappointment in her blue eyes was heartbreaking, but only because he cared about her and didn't want to be the cause of her pain. He knew that on some level he didn't love Kelly, not in the way he loved Brenda, he never had. Kelly had been a kindred spirit, someone else who knew what it was like to have a father who was always letting you down and a mother who'd lived on another planet for most of your life. Brenda had been the girl who made him feel alive, who made him feel like a normal guy. She'd brought him out of his isolated, self-centred world and pulled him into hers, and he'd never been the same again.

Kelly poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle she kept hidden in her closet, she picked up the wedding photograph she kept by her bedside, her and Dylan staring into each others eyes with huge smiles on their faces. Kelly put the photograph back down, she didn't feel anything when she looked at it anymore, she wasn't the young, hopeful bride in the picture. Sighing to herself she sipped her wine before setting down the glass and taking her suitcases out of her closet. She couldn't delay the inevitable anymore, Kelly started pulling clothes from her drawers and closet and stuffed them into the cases, she didn't bother to fold them she just wanted to get it over with, get the hell out of the beach house and start living her life.

Brenda pulled up outside Dylan's hotel and took a couple of deep breaths before stepping out of the Porsche and tipping the valet. She held her head high as she walked into the hotel reception, she knew where she was going, she just wasn't sure she'd made the right decision, not yet. As she got into the elevator Brenda could feel her heart racing, it was going so fast she almost felt dizzy, taking a few more deep breaths to steady herself she watched the numbers on the elevator light up as it approached her floor.

The insistent ring of the phone shook Dylan from his reverie and he reached out to answer it.

"Dylan McKay." He was surprised to hear Brandon's voice at the end of the phone, their last encounter hadn't exactly been friendly. "No sorry man, I've not seen her." There was a soft knock on his hotel room door. "Hang on a sec, there's someone at the door." Dylan set the phone down on the nightstand and padded across the thick cream carpet, he flung open the door.

Brenda could feel the electricity coursing through her as she waited for Dylan to open the door, she felt like she was sixteen-years-old and it was Spring Fling.

Dylan's mouth fell open, for a brief second he couldn't breathe, he couldn't blink, in fact he wasn't entirely sure he could remember his own name.

"Are you going to invite me in?" Brenda smiled coyly at Dylan, her hair falling slightly across her eyes.

Dylan stepped aside to let her into the room, watching the way her dress sparkled and clung to her body as she moved.

Brenda perched on the edge of the king size bed, just the memories of the last time she was in this room were making her blush. Flashbacks to the Spring Fling, of tumbling onto the bed with Dylan, filled by teenage desire and nervous anticipation kept flooding her head.

Dylan walked around Brenda, trying to stop himself from openly staring at her slim, toned legs. He picked up the phone, "She's here, I'll call you later." He placed the handset back in its cradle and turned to look at Brenda.

"What are you doing here?"

Brenda raised her head to look right into Dylan's brown eyes. "I love you Dylan McKay, I always have and I've spent the last six years trying to convince myself that I don't."

"I'm married to Kelly." Dylan sat down next to her.

"Do you love her?" Brenda's voice cracked slightly.

"I do, but not in the right way, not anymore." Dylan placed his hand on Brenda's thigh.

Brenda looked into Dylan's eyes, "It's now or never Dylan, we're not getting any younger, I have to know if there's a chance that we have a future. That you've always felt drawn to me in the same way that I've felt drawn to you." Brenda chewed slightly on her bottom lip as she waited for a response from him.

"We'll hurt too many people Bren." Dylan's words were so hugely inadequate that Brenda felt like crying, she didn't, she held her composure.

"Maybe we've spent too long worrying about other people and not enough time thinking about what we want. So far all doing the right thing has done is to make both of us miserable. Just say you don't feel anything for me and that's it, I'll walk away and get on with my life."

"I love you Brenda, I have since our first date, you got into my head and my heart and turned me inside out." Dylan cupped Brenda's face in his hand.

"But I can't promise you a fairytale, we tried that, I've tried that with Kelly."

"I don't want a fairytale, I'm not a seventeen year old girl, I'm a twenty-eight year old woman who has to stop running away from her past."

Dylan stroked the hem of Brenda's dress. "I want you Brenda, despite all the confusion in my head right now I know that I want you."

Brenda tilted her head up towards Dylan and he bent to kiss her. The kiss overwhelmed both of them, hot and hungry, deep and passionate it felt like six years of tension being released. Brenda felt Dylan's hand slide down the zipper on her dress and without a thought to what tomorrow or the day after would bring, they tumbled back onto the bed and into each other's arms, finding delight in the fact that their bodies still fit together perfectly.

**The End**


End file.

Beverly Hills 90210, Angst, Romance