Final Fantasy VII The Hate Of Strife

_New story! Story with sass! Story about Cloud haters! Mwuhaha! Okay, honestly, I have nothing against the guy, but I thought it would be cool for all the Jenova babies to meet a chronically insane girl who also hates him, and have some sort of...journey... with randomness AND romance. Yes. romance. Believe me or not, there will be romance! I shall put my back into it, and type until I can think straight, but there will be romance! By gonnet there will be! _

_Disclaimer: Do I HAVE to do this? Its freakin' I mean, what are you, an idiot? Geez! I own nothing but Jade Emily-Rose Burnaby and the fricken clothes on my back-and possibly Reno's cloths (wink)-, so stop asking!_

_And now, On with the hawt stupidity and randomness:D_

**Chapter#1**

**What Brings You To Life?**

Jade Emily-Rose Burnaby sat on her counter, board out of her mind. She opened the Inn hoping someone would come, but to no avail. People always went to the more expensive, luxurious types of hotels that were downtown, not her little cottage of an Inn. She could have just worked with Shin-Ra or The Turks instead, but she wanted to be independent, without a boss to well…boss her around. _An Inn in Icicle Town would be more successful _she thought bitterly, while cleaning some glasses and plates.

Jade's Inn was also a restaurant. She figured she could get more people to come, since she was a decent cook. It ended up like more of a soup kitchen. People would come in all torn up and she'd give them clean clothes, some food, a nice warm meal, even offer a place to stay, free of charge. That was over. She knew she couldn't keep on doing that, couldn't afford it. "That's why I opened the damn Inn in the first place." She growled.

A long sigh escaped her dry lips. She tucked some black hair behind her ear and sat on the counter. "No-ones coming, Jade" She told herself. "Close."

Just then the door opened. Four drenched black dressed figures walked into her little home. The outfits looked familiar. _No…. they died two years ago.. _She looked at the two taller ones. Hoods hid all of their faces, but Jade had been a reporter when _they_ were running amuck. When _they _were still alive. _Avalanche got them, their dead. Its just a coincidence. _She thought, but the idea still clicked in her mind.

The four figures walked closer, one was short; _Kadaj…. _She thought slowly.

One was buff; _Oz? Lobs? Loz? That's it… Loz… _

One was tall and petite; _Yasu? Yazoo? Yazoo…. _

And one, one sent chills down her spine. She could imagine his deeds of pure evil, of the innocent lives at his hands, and hands of fire. _Sephiroth…. _Her expressionless face hit an icy glare. _Sephiroth…. _She thought bitterly.

She didn't even have to see their faces, for she knew them two well, though they didn't know her. _I'm probably just…overeating. _

One was limping, she noticed. The short one. And one was holding his arm. The girly one. _Here goes… _"Welcome to Rosie's Inn and Restaurant. How can I help you?" Jade asked.

The other tall one-stepped forward. "Do you have anything to drink, preferably non-intoxicating."

She nodded and walked stiffly towards the bar opposite of the counter. "How many would ya like?"

"Four." The man stated, sitting on a stool. _I shall call him Leader _Jade thought. The other three also sat on a stool, the two injured ones making light groans. Jade brought over the drinks and 'Leader' drank it down quickly.

The petite one of 'Girly' groaned when he reached for the drink with his injured arm, and smartly decided to use his other one. Jade noticed the dark blood on their dark leather suits. "Uh…Are you guys okay? You look a little, beat up?" Leader looked up slowly, though his hood still covered his face.

"We are fine." He stated blankly.

Jades eyes scanned the smaller one, 'Shorty' and sighed. Girly and Shorty were both defiantly in pain. "I can bandage up those wounds or clean them or something-" She paused, noticing Leader seemed slightly irritated. "-Or I can give you guys a first aid kit so you can do it yourself!" _That was to rushed. _Jade flashed a friendly smile. Leader nodded. "All right then…"

Jade kneeled down and opened a cupboard, her fingers lingering over the substances inside until she found the white and red case she desired. She took it out and placed it on the table with a loud 'Thunk'.

"Uh…. here?" None of them made a movement to the case and she sighed, gravely tired of the long boring night. Out of pure curiosity, she asked. "Are those suits comfy?"

Shorty's head rose, shaking slightly. "See, I have leather pants, and they aren't comfortable, so I didn't think an entire suit would be."

Minutes passed. "I'm Jade!" She said loudly, but unintentionally. "Oops…sorry."

More minutes passed. "You have a place to stay?"

Leaders head shook. Jade nodded. "See, I basically run a charity here, if you need a place to stay, you can, free of charge. And even if you want to pay, I don't charge much."

"That wont be necessary." Leader stated.

Jade rolled her eyes. "On the contrary, its very necessary. You look exhausted, even though I can't really see you, and two of you are injured. I couldn't just let you walk out of there. Besides!" She paused. "Well, there is no besides, but usually people have more then one reason for something, so they add something cool like 'besides' or 'or else' or sometimes even 'I'll eat your babies!' well…maybe not that last one….I'm rambling, HI! I'm Jade!" _Deep breathes. Deep breathes. Calm. Relax. Breath. _"Woo, long sentence."

Leader sighed. "How much?"

"Free of charge, of course of course! But I need to jot down your names for user history. I mean…customer history." She smacked her forehead _User history? What is this? A computer? _

There was no reply. "Fine! I'll make up your names!" She pointed to leader. "You…you can be…Sugarseph!" Leaders head shot up. She pointed to the one person she hadn't named. "Bah…decisions, decisions… How about……….Lozaroo?" The quiet guys head perked up. Jade then pointed to Girly "And you can be…. Yazzy! I love that! Yazzy!" She jotted down the name. She pointed to Shorty. "And you…" _Nickname for Kadaj…Kaday? No…Kadja? No…Maniacal freak of SHM? No…suicide… _"You will be…..you….you will….be…..Kadaj? Damn I suck at this!"

She then realized all of them were staring straight at her, and oh yes, she could see their eyes. They were indeed who she thought they were. But did Jade cower? Oh no, she did not cower. Did she weep? Oh no, she did not weep. What did she do? She danced.

"I was right! Yay! See, I thought it was the Maniacal crazies! I thunk it! I thunk right!" She then realized her mistake and mentally smacked herself. _Mom was right, I am officially mentally retarded._ "Oh….Uh…what um….what brings you to….life?" She asked, casually leaning on the counter.

Sephiroth glared at her. Jade shifted and held up her case. "Band-Aids, anyone?"

Suddenly Sephiroth was right next to her, and Loz was on the other side. Jades eyes widened. Without thought she blurted. "THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY IS MY FRIEND!"

They all stopped silent. "Huh?"

"I wanna talk to Shorty!" Jade said loudly, pointing at Kadaj, who raised an eyebrow. Loz chuckled at the nickname 'Shorty'.

"Huh?" Said Shorty.

"Indeed." Said Jade. "I wish to talk to THE FRICKEN MIGIT!" Once again, there was a pause. "Oh….you think I'm kidding…..buying time…but I think I'm-HA!" She threw a spoon a Loz and sped into the living room, and then up the stairs. 'Shorty' and Yazoo followed behind her closely. Jade dived into her room and closed the door, only for it to open again and a one Kadaj Sugarplum to step in.

"I guess this is a bad time to ask if you'll donate to my cause?" She asked, holding up a box of cookies.

"Sit down." Kadaj commanded. Jade nodded and sat. "You're a stupid girl, you know. You could have just gave us something to eat and then called the authorities when we left. But instead, you say you know who we are!" He seemed angrier at her stupidity than her knowing they were alive.

"Before I answer that, I'd like to ask you why your back."

Kadaj sighed. "We're going to kill you anyways, so I might as well. We're here for revenge. Revenge on Strife."

"Ah, the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Jade said again, a small smile quirking on her lips. Kadaj raised an eyebrow at this. "I'm after Strife too." She admitted, looking at her feet and fidgeting with her gloves. " I hate him." She mouthed. Kadaj didn't hear or see it though.

"Huh?"

Jade continued looking down. "I. Hate. Cloud. Strife." She repeated.

_...and so it begins..._

_Dude,...I need to cut down on sugarpops... Anyways, Review please! (hands out cookies to all readers ((if I have any)) ) Review, and update will be soon, no review, and you shall wait a long and hard time! MWUHAHAAHAHAAH! I am so evil.._


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Final Fantasy VII, Humor