Harry Potter 1. ACT ONE

AuThOr'S NoTe I was watching Robin hood Men in Tights (VERY funny movie) and this idea  
sorta popped up in my head   
Hope ya like it!  
-Moony :)  
  
DiScLaImEr I OWN NOTHING (except my character Rose Black!) J.K Owns the rest!  
  
~*~  
  
Robin Hood- Preformed by your very own Marauders! (And Lily and Rose!)  
  
Robin Hood- Remus Lupin  
Little John- Sirius Black  
Friar Tuckman (Tuck) and A Merry Man whos name will be James- James Potter  
Maid Marian- Rose Black  
A Merry Man and Person in the Town- Peter Pettigrew  
Sheriff of Natingham- Lucius Malfoy  
Price John- Serverus Snape  
Maid Marians best friend Whos name will Lilian- Lily Evans  
The crowd and some other Merry Men- Gryffindor students  
The people with The bad people- The Slytherins  
  
~*~  
  
*Curtain Opens*  
  
  
*Old Time Music Plays in Background as Robin, Little John and James walk in*  
  
*Little John is laughing at something he's reading*  
  
Little John- Hahahahahaha  
  
James- What be so funny Little John?  
  
Little John- These scripts did you read these!  
  
*James whispers something in Little Johns ear that sounds like 'Sirius stuff it' and Little John  
throws James a look*  
  
Robin Hood- Guys stop it come on we are nearing the cit- Sirius your right who did right these  
scripts!  
  
*McGonagall enters on stage right*  
  
McGonagall- BOYS! GET ON WITH IT!  
  
James- But-  
  
McGonagall- DON'T BUT ME JAMES POTTER!  
  
James- Y-y-yes mam.  
  
*McGonagall exits*  
  
Robin- Now where were we ahhh yes....ON TO THE CITY!  
  
James and Little John- TO THE CITY!  
  
*They walk to the city that seems to be helplessly in poverty*  
  
Robin- What happened here good people of this er...town?  
  
Person in the town- Prince John came and collected our taxes which was also all our money!   
  
Little John- I don't get it...  
  
Person in town- WE HAVE NO MONEY...WHAT DON'T YOU GET!!  
  
Little John- The no money part...  
  
James- I'll explain it to you later John.  
  
Robin- *rolls his eyes* Why would he want to do that and...who is Prince John?  
  
Prince John- *swings in from a rope and crashes into empty wine kegs and stands up, brushes him  
self off* I am!  
  
All them- *gasp* IT'S SNAPE!  
  
Little John- AHH HE...MUST...DIE!  
  
Prince John- *rolls his eyes* I am NOT Snape..well I am but I'm not in this play...and you can  
NEVER kill me *laughs evilly*  
  
Robin- You will pay for this Sn- I mean John!  
  
Little John- What did I do *frowns*  
  
James- Not you Little John...he means Prince John.  
  
Little John- Ahh I see...  
  
Prince John- As I said you can NEVER kill me...because I have THE SHERIFF OF NAT..um  
NAT.. what is it again?  
  
Everyone- NATINGHAM! (A/N Did I spell that right?)  
  
Prince John- Yes yes thats it...well anyway here he is...  
  
Sheriff- HAHAHA yes it's me THE SHERIFF OF THAT LITTLE TOWN HAHAHA!  
  
Robin, James, and Litle John- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!  
  
Sheriff- *confused* What? Whats wrong?  
  
James- your.....your wearing...TIGHTS!! HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Sheriff- *embarresed* Y-yes but...but SO ARE YOU!  
  
James- AHH I AM! WHOS THE COSTUME DESIGNER HERE!  
  
*Lily walks on stage*  
  
Lily- I am and I think you look cute in tights! So deal with it Jamsie!  
  
*Lily walks off stage*  
  
*James' face turns bright red*  
  
Robin and L John- Awwww cute little JAAAAAAAMMMMMSSSSSIIIIIE looks so cute in his  
little tights!  
  
James- *Still bright red* Well you guys are wearing tights too....  
  
Little John- I can take care *transfigures tights into dark green leather pants and shirt into a half  
open blouse and a leather vest over it with a small green hat on with a red feather in it*  
  
Robin and James- What about us! *frowns*  
  
Little John- OH! Sorry... *does the same to them*  
  
*Lily walks back on stage*  
  
Lily- I like these pants a lot better! W000 H000! *kisses James*  
  
*Lily walks of stage*  
  
James- Woo....hoo..yeah! *faints*  
  
Robin- He..he...ON TO ACT TWO!  
  
Little John- TO ACT TWO!  
  
*Curtian falls*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. ACT TWO!

AuThOrS NoTe Well I hope you enjoyed Chapter or rather Act 1...and like they said ON TO  
ACT 2! and coming up Snape, Lucius, Sirius and Remus singing!  
  
DiScLaImEr I OWN NUTTIN! It's J.K.s!  
  
~*~  
  
Robin Hood- Preformed by your very own Marauders! (And Lily and Rose!)  
  
Robin Hood- Remus Lupin  
Little John- Sirius Black  
Friar Tuckman (Tuck) and A Merry Man whos name will be James- James Potter  
Maid Marian- Rose Black  
A Merry Man and Person in the Town- Peter Pettigrew  
Sherif of Natingham- Lucius Malfoy  
Price John- Serverus Snape  
Maid Marians best friend Whos name will Lilian- Lily Evans  
The crowd and some other Merry Men- Gryffindor students  
The people with The bad people- The Slytherins  
  
~*~  
  
ACT TWO!  
  
*Maid Marian and Lilian enters*  
  
Maid Marian- *sigh*  
  
Lillian- Whats wrong Marian?  
  
Marian- I need a man...badly....  
  
Lillian- *frowns in pity* you'll find the right guy...someday.  
  
Marian- Thats easy for you to say you've got guys crawling all over you.  
  
Lillian- Yeah I do..but there all freaks...and weirdoes...like whats his name umm...The Sheriff I  
think his name is Lucius.  
  
Marian- *laughs* Yes..yes you do seem to have weirdoes after you..*sigh* buts it better than no  
one.  
  
Lillian- I MUCH rather have no one.  
  
*The Sheriff enters*  
  
Sheriff- Ahh Maid Marian my sweet and my dearest Lillian.  
  
Lillian- *mumbles* Don't sweet me you asswipe.  
  
Sheriff- Excuse me Lillian?  
  
Lillian- *Smiles sweetly* Nothing nothing at all!  
  
Sheriff- *smiles also* Thats what I thought...So Marian how are you?  
  
Marian- Fine and yourself?  
  
Sheriff- Perfect Well I better be off...Goodbye Marian..and *grabs Lillian by the cheek* Goodbye  
my sweet.  
  
Lillian- *pulls away* Yeah..whatever bye.  
  
*They begin to walk away*  
  
Sheriff- Oh Marian!  
  
*Maid Marian turns around*  
  
Sheriff- Prince John would like to see you as soon as possible.  
  
Marian- Why?  
  
Sheriff- *grins* No idea..ta ta!  
  
*Sheriff walks off*  
  
*Maid Marian and Lillian walk off*  
  
*Curtains close*  
  
*Curtians Open to reveal Robin Hood, James and Little John walking though Sherwood Forest*  
  
Robin- So where too?  
  
Little John- I dunno...I'm bored lets do something.  
  
James- Like what?  
  
L John- I dunno....I'm soooo bored.  
  
James- How bout a duel!  
  
Robin- With who?  
  
James- *points at two figures walking through the forest* Them.  
  
Robin- What if there two unsuspecting, helpless, poor people lost in the forest.  
  
James- *shruggs* For fun! Were not gunna HURT them just er...scare them a bit.  
  
L John- *snikkers* More like scare the tights off of them.  
  
James- Oh Come on Robin!  
  
Robin- Alright..lets go.  
  
*They all go and hide in two trees*  
  
*Maid Marian and Lillian walk through the forest*  
  
Marian- So now what shall we do?  
  
Lillian- Not a clue...hey what do you think about the Prince wanting to see ya?  
  
Marian- Scary..very scary!  
  
Lillian- Yeah well he is a bit stra-  
  
*Robin, James and L John Jump out on the two girls*  
  
Lillian and Marian- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
The Boys- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*Lillian grabs James and punches him out and Marian does the same to Robin and they both go  
after L John Lilian punching him in the eye anjd Marian kicking him in the groin*  
  
L John- *In A LOT of pain* Ok...I...really...really...want to know...who...wrote..this...script!  
*passes out*  
  
Lillian- You know there kinda cute..shall we keep them?  
  
*Marian nods*  
  
Lillian- LIKE AWESOME!  
  
*2 hours later the boys wake up..they are in Prince John's castle.*  
  
Robin- Wha? What happened?  
  
Lillian- MARIAN! THIER UP!!  
  
Marian- Comeing!  
  
James- What the hell happened!  
  
L John- Ok who kicked me in the willie!  
  
*Everyone looks at him*  
  
Robin and James- *bursts out lauging* WILLIE?!?!?!  
  
L John- *blushes* thats what my mum called em.  
  
*Maid Marian enters when everyone is still laughing*  
  
Marian- OOOOH what did I miss?  
  
*Robin stops laughing and stares at Marian*  
  
Robin- *in awe* Wow  
  
Marian- *blushes* Oh Hello there.  
  
Robin- H-h-hi.  
  
Marian- *giggles* Whats your name sir?  
  
Robin- Er...Remus..  
  
James- Er..he..he..silly lad...hi name is Robin Hood and NOT Remus...right Remus? I MEAN  
ROBIN!  
  
Robin- *dazed* Yeah..sure...  
  
Marian- *giggles more* Nice to meet you Robin Hood. I am Maid Marian.  
  
Robin- N-n-nice to m-m-meet you too.  
  
*Scilence*  
  
Lillian- Well do you guys wanna stay for dinner or what?  
  
James and L John- Yeah Sure.  
  
Robin- Yeah...sure...  
  
Lillian- Great! Come on Marain.  
  
Marian- Yes, Alright...goodbye boys..Robin.  
  
The boys (except Robin)- Bye! Cya!  
  
Robin- *5 minutes later* Bye..  
  
James- Oh come on..we gotta get ready. 


	3. ACT THREE!

AuThOrS NoTe Finally the Act you've been waiting for the musical part of our show! ENJOY!  
Oh yeah for the songs they have no real melody soo umm...make one up!  
  
-Moony :)  
  
Disclaimer As I said b4 I own nothing! *mutters damnit*  
  
  
~*~  
  
Robin Hood- Preformed by your very own Marauders! (And Lily and Rose!)  
  
Robin Hood- Remus Lupin  
Little John- Sirius Black  
Friar Tuckman (Tuck) and A Merry Man whos name will be James- James Potter  
Maid Marian- Rose Black  
A Merry Man and Person in the Town- Peter Pettigrew  
Sheriff of Natingham- Lucius Malfoy  
Price John- Serverus Snape  
Maid Marians best friend Whos name will Lillian- Lily Evans  
The crowd and some other Merry Men- Gryffindor students  
The people with The bad people- The Slytherins  
  
~*~  
  
*Curtians open to reveal a large Great Hall in P. Johns castle*  
  
Sheriff- *sings to himself* I am the sheriff of that town..la..la...la  
  
Servant enters.  
  
Servant- 'Ello there sir..just bringing ya a cup o tea.  
  
Sheriff- Yes yes leave it there.  
  
Servant- You waitin for someone 'Eriff?  
  
Sheriff- Yes I am now please would you leave!  
  
Servant- Yes sir..'Orry sir.  
  
Sheriff- Where is he! He's LATE!  
  
*Music starts*  
  
Sheriff- He's here thank the Lord!  
  
*Prince John enters*  
  
Prince John- Why hello there Sheriff...sorry if I took so long just collecting money.  
  
Sheriff- Ahh Money...It's so..so beautiful.  
  
Prince- It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside don't it?  
  
Sheriff- I feel a song coming on!  
  
Prince- Yes me too!!  
  
Sheriff- *sings* It's money...it's Money it's really really great!  
  
Prince- *also sings* It's Money It's Money this is my fate!  
  
Sheriff- *Picks up some money* Oooh How I love the sparkling of it.  
  
Prince- Oh yes by the way IT'S MINE SOOO SHOVE IT! *pushes him away*  
  
Together- It's Money, It's Money!  
  
Sheriff- I bet it tastes sooo sweet!  
  
Together- It's Money, It's Money.  
  
Prince- *Puts it in his mouth and chews* No it tastes more like your feet!!  
  
Prince- *sings sweetly* Oh I love to see..I love to touch it..I love everything about it!  
  
Sheriff- I love it more than any man on earth I even more than I *sings in a low voice* Like to  
knit!  
  
Together- We Love it...We Love it and do you know why....  
  
Guards (Slytherins)- Why?  
  
Together- BECAUSE..(Dun der run Dun Dun)..IT'S....(Dun der run Dun Dun)  
  
Everone- MONEY!!!!  
  
Sheriff- *low* Yes it is!  
  
*Maid Marian and Lillian walks down the stairs*  
  
Marian- Sir..Prince John...We brought a few friends along for dinner do you mind?  
  
Prince- No not at all!  
  
Lillian- Good! OOOOO BOYS!!  
  
*Robin, L John, and James walk down the steps and freeze when they see The Sheriff and Prince  
John*  
  
Robin- You.  
  
Prince- You.  
  
L John- You.  
  
Sheriff- You.  
  
James- All of you.  
  
Lillian- Oh so you know each other! Wonderful!  
  
Robin- *Pulls out his bow and arrow* You will die!  
  
James- Oh no here comes another song! *sigh*  
  
Robin- *sings* I'll kill you! I will just you wait and see!  
  
L John- *sings* He'll kill you yes he will and soo will meeee!  
  
James- Uhh don't you mean I?  
  
L John- I was tring to rhyme.  
  
Sheriff- Very nice rhyming...Lovely really *starts to sing* but I'm sorry my FRIENDS your time  
has come to an *low* end.  
  
Lillian- Wow he can sing low!  
  
P John- *sings* GUARDS! OH GUARDS! Please come and save me!  
  
James- *still NOT singing* Stop being a whimp!  
  
Lillian- *sings* Get into the song you pimp!  
  
James- PIMP! I AM NOT A PIMP!  
  
Lillian- It was the only thing I could think of at a time like this!  
  
James- *rolls eyes*  
  
Robin- Come on Jamsie boy get in to the action!  
  
L John- It will give you much satisfactiiiioooonnn! oooooooh!  
  
The Girls- Join the Fun..Join the Song...Come on!  
  
James- I am NOT singing!  
  
Sheriff- *sings in evil low voice* So Robin it looks like it's just me you and those other..*low*  
guys...*lower* tooooo!  
  
Robin- Bring it on! You evil Sheriff of that town!  
  
Everyone- Natingham!  
  
*They begin to duel while James is still not singing*  
  
James- OH FINE! I'LL SING IF IT'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY! *sings* I don't wanna do this...I'm  
probably gunna get killed...and I still wanna know who wrote this play!  
  
*Music Ends Songs Over*  
  
James- YES!   
  
L John- Lets get outta here!  
  
Robin- I'LL BE BACK!  
  
*kisses Maid Marian on the hand*  
  
Robin- *whisper* for you *grins*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.

Harry Potter, Humor