Kingdom Hearts 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Yeah, don't own Kh either. If I did, Riku would take his shirt off several times in the game.

It was a killer hot day on the Destiny Islands and everybody was frying up, but that's not the point! Anyways Tidus, Wakka and Selphie were running like idiots on the island, Riku was sitting on the tree with the huge dent in it, Sora was standing on the shore and running away from the water when it got close, but went back to it anyways, and Kairi was somewhere.

"Another sunny hot day, whoopty dooo" Riku groaned.

"Hahahaha! The water will never get me! I win every time!" Sora yelled as he raised his hands in the air like an idiot.

Suddenly, the water comes up and grabs Sora by the heels and drags him in.

"Riku! Help me! The water is eating me!" Sora screamed as the water took on his pants, or lower part of his jump suit O.o Whatever it is.

"I'm coming Sora!" Kairi yells happily as she runs in with her slow pace and even annoying face.

"Oh, gosh no! That's okay! Be eatin by the water isn't that bad!" Sora says as his shoulders get dragged into the water.

Riku jumps out in front of Kairi and trips her. "Just get out of the water. You're right next to the shore" Riku says pointing to the ground. Sora looks and sees he's been at the shore the whole time and two hands have his back.

"The curse of the sea! I knew I shouldn't have ever eaten that clam Wakka gave me!" Sora screams as he jumps out of the water and runs around, tearing apart several coconut trees and the dock.

"I'm not a curse! I'm a guy!" a familiar voice exclaims as he climbs out of the water. "It's the king of all darkness!" Kairi screams as she gets up. "It's Barney!" Sora yells from the other side of the island. "BARNEY!" the whole island screams in terror.

"Oh, please, I'm a lot better than that piece of crap! I'm Ansem!" Ansem yells out to the whole world. The world is quiet and only crickets can be heard. "Gasp! Riku, it's the guy who tried to rape you!" Sora yells as he comes back, having all of his clothes ripped and only a few remainders covering his...you know.

Riku starts to tremble and backs up, having those weird backing up noises as he takes each step. "You keep away from my Riku! He's mine!" Sora says as he takes out the Keyblade. "I'd put that away before you cut your hair off!" Ansem says crossing his arms. "You must not know who I is!" Sora says as he swings the keyblade around and chops off a spike of his hair. "NOOOOOOO! Hair emergency! Hair emergency!" Sora yells and falls like he's having a heart attack.

Out of nowhere Cloud and Vincent come out and pick Sora up and lay him on those carrying beds and runs off with him. "Your son needs help" Vincent says rolling his eyes. "Hair is a major thing to keep cool looking!" Cloud yells to Vincent. "Well, this is a strange start" Ansem says looking off where thay took Sora. "So how'd you get here anyways?" Riku asks as he backs up into a wall. "Well, when that stupid brat opened the door, I didn't die. I just lost my balance in the air and fell onto where the door was, that Kairi girl kicked me off and I fell into the sea, while she tried to look like she did nothing wrong" Ansem pouted as he glared at Kairi. She giggled a little and bad things happened.

The evil giggle made Selphie run into a tree, Tidus run into a den of crabs and lobsters, Wakka's only blitzball popped and he mourned all over it, houses caught on fire, Riku's shirt ripped off (Okay, maybe it wasn't too bad), Ansem was rolling on the ground begging for the laughing to stop, other unknown worlds exploded, at the hospital, Sora's oxygen tank exploded and Sora was blown out of the window.

"On guardian!" Ansem yells, hoping his shadow thing would protect him, but all that came out was a sign that said, 'I quit! Protect yourself, I'm working at Taco Bell now!' Suddenly, Sora fell out of the sky and landed on Kairi, stopping the horrorible laugh. "Riku, my love!" he says getting up and running over to Riku. "Sora!" Riku yells as he runs over to Sora with arms open. 'Reunited' is playing in the background as they run over to each other in slow motion. A turtle walks by going faster than Sora and goes into the sand.

After a few minutes, the music changes. "Mmmm! It's KFC! Ah!...That's chicken for me! Mmmm...That's KFC! Ah! It's Chicken for me!" music change "Dance! To much booty in da pants!" music change "When you walk away, you don't hear me say, pleeeeaaaseeee, oh baby, don't go! Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight" music change "Estuans interius ira vehementi, estuans interiurs ira vehementi. Sephiroth! Sephiroth!" "Okay! Who's doing that!" Riku yells looking around as he stops running. Leon comes out of the secret place, dancing like an idiot while holding a boombox up to his ear.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie! Those other brothers cannot-notices people staring at him with a disgusted look on their faces-lie" he finishes with a sheepish smile. "Let's continue this another time" Sora says looking at the reader. A dark background comes with a circle in the middle that goes onto Sora along with that "Boooowoop!" sound. Sora's head gets caught in the circle and he chokes until it backs up and Sora falls backwards.

To be continued...

Well that was fun! Please review! I may continue!


	2. How Weird is That?

Back to the weirdness!

Chapter 2: How weird is this?

Everybody is sleeping on the beach for some reason, probably waiting for you, the reader, to get back! So anyways, Sora gets up and starts to sleep walk to the dented tree. He trips over Tidus, who's now covered in bandages, but gets up and still sleep walks. He gets a poupu and walks back over to Riku. Sora kneels down and shoves it in Riku's mouth and he falls and takes the other side that's sticking out.

"I feel alot better!" Ansem says as he gets up and stretch. A ripping noise can be heard, and Ansem covers his butt with his hands. The rip causes everybody to wake up. Wakka wakes up from laying on a grave he made for his blitzball, Tidus slowly gets up for his body is still sore, Selphie gets up, but then falls back down unconcious, Riku and Sora wake up at the same time. Sora begins to hug Riku and roll with him on the beach while Riku tries to break free.

"That ain't right" Leon says getting up. Ansem shakes his head in shame, trying to act normal. Sephiroth walks onto the beach and spots this happening. "What the hell! My son is gay!" he yells. "I get it from you!" Riku yells, now that he got away from Sora. Vincent walks behind Sora, who now is sitting on the ground eating the other half of the poupu fruit, and winks to Sephiroth as he holds up a poupu fruit. Sephiroth winks back.

"I need to get out of here!" Ansem says nervously. He turns around and walks back to the sea, when suddenly...

"AHHHHHH! My leg!" Ansem just got hit by the gummi ship that crashed down. "Nice landing, Goofy!" Donald says sarcastically as he jumps out of the cockpit. "Sora! There's a new evil in the world!" Goofy yells as he runs over to Sora. "And who might be this 'new evil'?" Sora asked in a fake heroic voice. "His name is Axel" Donald finishes. A sinister laugh can be heard and the sky turns dark. Only a light shines down on a spikey red headed man in a dark cloak.

He looks at the crew and puts his hands up in a shrugging like motion and smiles. "Okaaaaaay" Riku says pushing a button on the remote he just found. The sky turns back to normal and the light goes away. "This is the new evil?" Leon says in confusion. "Yes I is!" Axel laughs. "How weird is that?" Sora asks. "You said the title of the day!" Goofy exclaims in a game show announcer's voice. "What do I win?" Sora asks, overly excited. "You win a bag of sugar!" Goofy answers handing it to Sora. He snatches is and starts to chug it down his throat. "This chapter of You Gotta Love that Booowoop Sound, is brought to you by Cid's Item Shop! He won't cuss if you don't fuss!" Goofy says pointing to the reader. The black background and circle comes and closes in on Goofy winking along with the boowoop sound.

This ain't the end yet! Wait for chapter 3: Sora's Sugar High!


	3. Sora's Sugar High

Welcome back to the Boowoop!

Chapter 3: Sora's Sugar High

After chugging down a bag of sugar and going to his house to chug some more, Sora was completely high. He just stood there for a while with a goofy look on his face (Goofy: Hey!). "Sora are you okay?" Riku asked feeling Sora's forehead. He fell and then got back up and exploded into some fireworks. "Take cover!" Axel yelled now wearing an army general outfit. Everybody got behind Kairi (Who knows how they could fit behind her without showing any body parts), who was getting hit by sparks and explosions.

Sora came back together and started jumping and running too fast for the eye can see. "HeyRikulet'sgototraversetownandfightsomeheartlessorletsgokillAnsemandstuff!" Sora screamed in an entirely fast voice nobody can hear clearly. "Um Sora. Calm down" Leon whispered scaredly. "But...I CAN'T!" Sora yelled running faster than he did before. "Goofy, this is all your fault!" Donald squawked. Goofy shurgged. Sora automatically blasted off into space, leaving a trail of candy behind. "Soraaaaaaaaaaa!" Riku yelled falling to his knees and screaming at the sky.

"He was the best keyblade master in the world" Axel saluted to the sky. "Hey! I'm the true keyblade master!" Riku yells to Axel. He tackles him to the ground and starts to throw punches. "What do we do?" Goofy asks. "We capture him! I know how Sora gets when he's sugar high" Riku answers as he throw Axel to the sky. "To the gummi ship!" Donald yells. Riku, Donald and Goofy jump really high and land in the cockpit. Leon tries to jump, but ends up hitting the wing. "Leon, you stay here" Riku says. They lift off, leaving a huge pile of ashes of what used to be Ansem. "Ready, steady can't hold me back. Ready, steady give me good luck. Ready steady never look back" Riku sings while listening to his walkman.

"Shut up!" Donald chucks a book at him. Riku catches it and throws it back. "Some days, some nights. Some live and die in the name of the samurai. I'm a battle cry, I'm a battle cry" he starts singing again. Donald just shakes his head. Suddenly, a red figure flies by the window. "It's Sora!" Goofy cheers. "No duh, sir obvious-a-lot" Riku says taking off his walkman. "Prepare weapons!" Donald yells. "I already got them prepared" Riku says standing next to an amo gun.

"Ready, aim, FIRE!" Donald yells. Riku starts shooting sugar free gum at Sora as he zooms by. "Stay still, dammit!" Riku yells. They soon run out of amo and Sora is still not hit. "There's only one thing that can get him to come back" Riku said stepping to the controls. "What could stop something as hyper as that!" Goofy asked in horror. "This" Riku whispered as he takes hold of a microphone. "Hey Sooooora, I'll give you a kiss if you come baaaaaack" Riku said in a seductive tone. Sora immediatley stopped at the sound of that and crashed through the window.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" Sora anxiously says as he tackles Riku. "Let's go people!" Riku yelled to Donald. They set course through space as they watched destroyed worlds burn down and crumble. The crazy dark background comes and closes on the ship and so doesthe boowoop sound.

May not be the end or it maybe! It all depends on your reviews!


	4. Meet the Family and the Authoress!

I guess I can still update some more chapters of this I just hope I'm still good at this...I'll make an appearance for the heck of it!

After taking care of the matter that Sora had ripped off Riku's clothes and nearly steering the ship to hell, they all went back to Destiny Island to recover some injuries and dignity. "Well, I've had enough excitement and gayness for one day" Riku stretches. "Don't go Wiku!" Sora grabs onto his leg. "You stay, I go. No following" Riku points at Sora. "NOoooooo! Don't weave me Wiku!" Sora whines as Riku drags him across the beach. "Oh, come on! I'm gonna be late for dinner and I gotta beat my older brothers at a straing contest (I can never EVER win those). "But they can pway with you tomorrow, besides you always see them!" Sora pulls Riku the opposite way. "AHHHH! Why won't this thing work!" Riku tries to flap his dark wing. "My Wiku!" Sora pulls him down. "WHHHHYYYYY!" Riku gives up and is being dragged across the beach hitting clams, crabs, Selphie, Kairi, missles, the basics. "What do I do?" Axel looks around as the others walk away.

Out of nowhere, his fangirls pop out and start to chase him alongside the beach. "Well, at least I have something to do" he thinks to himself as he runs, but he trips over Kairi, who's just being lazy, and lands in the water right when the fangirls got out some ropes and nets. "Oh, please! Have mercy!" he screams, but all fangirls have no mercy, only to catch the bishies. "You can come home with me for dinner, but that's it!" Riku tries to shimmy out of the rope that Sora tied him to a tree. "Reeeeeaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyy?" Sora asks in a dreamy voice. "Uh, sure" Riku nods nervously. "YAY!" Sora cheers and unwraps Riku. "Yeesh, how tight can you make that thing?" Riku rubs his red and marked arms. "Do you want me to make it tighter around the both of us?" Sora smiles. Riku gives him a disgusted look and heads towards the partly destroyed dock. "You know, you should have your own theme song" Sora rows alongside Riku as they paddle aaaaaaaallllllllll the way to their home island. "I do, One Winged Angel" Riku answers. "Isn't that you're dad's theme song?" Sora asks, rowing closer to him. "Yeah, well. He won't give me one until I beat him in the Coliseum" Riku paddles a few inches away from Sora.

"What about your theme song?" Riku asks. "My stupid dad gave me the theme song of those weird guys. Who're they called again? Oh, yeah. The Turks" Sora sighs. "That music is cowboy music" Riku rolls his eyes. "I know, I wanted the theme song to that motorcycle chase or the Temple of the Ancients one, but he gave me some cowboy music" Sora groans as they bump into the shore. They both get out of their boats and press take out a remote looking thing. Riku pushes the boat alarm button, but Sora accidentally pushes the boat hop one, and his starts to bob up and down. "Maybe Cid shouldn't have given that to you" Riku snatches the remote and presses the right button. "Go let your parents know you'll be eating at my house and I'll meet you on my front porch" Riku walks to his house. "Hey dad!" Sora slams open his door. "What?" Cloud ansers from the kitchen. "I'm eating at Riku's okay?" he yells. "Fine, but don't let Sephiroth or his sons posses you. He did that to me once" Cloud walks out of the kitchen and over to him. He flashes back to he woke up without a shirt on with Sephiroth sleeping next to him. "Or maybe he didn't do that...Well, have fun!" Cloud smiles.

"Riku!" Sora runs over to him and tackles him to the ground. "Keep it down or else my dad-" "What's going on out here?" Sephiroth oepns the door and sees Sora on top of Riku, who's mumbling for help. "I need a vacation" Sephy shakes his head. "Brother!" Kadaj jumps out and tackles Sora. "Poor Riku!" Loz jumps and lands on Sora while trying to tear him apart. "It's good to have long hair and be sexy with it" Yazoo walks out and combs his hair with his hand. "A little help!" Riku yells. Sephy gets a crobar and separates all of them. "Get inside, it's time for dinner!' Sephy stomps back into the house. "Uh, oh. Daddy's angry" Loz whispers. "Ya think?" they all say at the same time. "You guys are mean!" Loz cries and runs back into the house. The others follow him and into the main room. "This is a nice house" Sora looks around. "Yeah well, since my dad was voted greatest villian, model, and bishie, the money started to roll in and we got this" Riku puts his arms to the side. "I wonder how come my dad hasn't gotten all this" Sora looks at a family picture of the family. "Maybe it's because he wasn't bid on when he was single" Riku walks up the stairs. "That could be the reason why we ended up with Tifa, Denzel, and Marlene, but at least she's cooler than your mom" Sora follows him.

"Why do you think I wanted to get off the island in the first place?" Riku rolls his eyes. "Welcome home Riku!" Aeris pops out of his room. "Mooooooom!" Riku whines. "I can see why" Sora laughs. "Why, if it isn't my would be son, but lost to a my enemy bartender, Sora!" she smiles. "What have you been doing in my room?" Riku looks behind her to the inside of his room. "Washing your clothes, cleaning around, and looking at your cute baby pictures!" she pulls out a book full of Riku's, Kadaj's, Loz's, and Yazoo's baby pictures. "Awww, isn't this one cute. You were just a few years old and you slept with your big brothers!" Aeris perkily (Is that even a word?) shows him and Sora a picture of Riku sleeping naked on his older brothers. "Do you have any I can copy?" Sora asks dreamily. "Mooooom! I said not in public!" Riku snatches the book. "Besides, I love my older brothers" Riku crosses his arms and pouts like a little kid. "What a Kodak moment!" Aeris takes out her camera and takes a picture. "Outta my face!" Riku points to the stairs. She giggles and walks out of his room. "Awww, but you were soooo cute Wiku!" Sora hugs Riku. "Lets just go eat!" Riku drags him down the stairs to the kitchen. The family is sitting down at the table, waiting for the other two.

"How come my hair won't grow?" Loz whines to Sephy. "If you wash everyday instead of once a weak, it'll get longer. How do you think I got my hair like this?" Sephy smiles. "Please! I want a picture to keeeeeepppppp!" Sora sits down next to Aeris's chair. "I'll give you a picture of me hot tubbin' if you shut up!" Riku yells as he sits down between Sora and Kadaj. "She showed you him the pictures?" Kadaj whispers. "She showed him my toushie" Riku bangs his head on the table. Kadaj pats him on the back. "You'll never guess what I made for dinner!" Aeris walks in with some plates. "I bet it's disgusting" Yazoo mumbles. She puts down the plates in front of them and takes a seat. They have dead monkey on their plates with mushrooms and sprinkles. "Oh, my GOSH!" Sora runs to the kitchen window and begins to...you know. Riku runs to the bathroom, Yazoo sinks down in his chair, Loz passes out of fright and disgust, and Kadaj is breathing into a paper bag. "Sephy gets upset and takes out the Masamune. "None of this!" he brings up the masamune and clashes it with the table, cutting it in half. "Oh, come on. I slave over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get? It doesn't taste that bad" Aeris takes a bite outta it and intsantly dies.

"Let's just order some pizza" Riku comes back from the bathroom, his face is really pale and he looks really weak. He takes another look at the hallucination and runs back into the bathroom. "That is one uuuugggglllyyy hallucination" Sora looks up from the window and points to the food. Kadaj stops breathing into the bag and calms down. "I'll have nightmares now!" he grabs and hangs onto Sephy's arm. Sephy takes out his cellphone and dials a number. "Chocobo Hut? Yeah it's me again, can you send two large pepperoni pizzas and a few cokes? Thanks" Sephy says and puts away his phone. "Why don't you kids go play upstairs until the food's here" Sephy points to the stairs. "Playtime!" Yazoo runs up the stairs while dragging Loz with him. Riku comes outta the bathroom, only to be carried off by Kadaj who's also carrying Sora. "Let's go play!" he cheers as he runs up the stairs. "How old are your brothers again?" Sora asks. "Kadaj is like, 17. Yazoo is in his 20s but he doesn't know, and Loz, well, lets just say he has more of a kid inside him" Riku answers as Kadaj takes them into Riku's room.

"Heeeeeeey, is Ansem a clone of your dad's?" Sora asks. "No, he was just some wannabe of my dad so he changed his hair color from red to grey, but he couldn't find the right contact lenses so he just kept them orange" Riku looks at a girl magazine. "Hewwo!" a girl with black hair and pale skin pops in through the window. The boys freak out and huddle to to a far corner. "Who the heck are you?" Sora points. "Call me DVG!" I jumps inside. "I don't like this paragraph thing anymore" I look down at the cazy words on the bottom of the screen.

DVG: That's better! There's more room and I don't have to type do much in one little graph!

Kadaj: Sooooo, where did you come from?

DVG: I come from Midgar, Paris, anywhere I want!

Sora: How'd you get here?

DVG: I flew! It's fun!

Yazoo: That's pretty lame. Everybody can fly by plane! Are you making me rhyme? I don't have the time! Make it stop! I gotta reputation to keep up right on the spot!

DVG: I'm the author of this crazy story and your rhyimg habit! By the way, I think all of you are hot!

All boy, except Loz: Thank yew!

DVG: I can fly cause I'm a vampire! It's fuuuuuuunnnnnnn! Plus Vinnie taught me how to fly!

Sora: You mean that guy with the red cape who my dad has a picture of him and another of a guy called Zack in his church home that he lives in because he thought Aeris was dead, but he could've used a phoenix down on her, but didn't because of his -takes a deep breath- stupidity that has probably passed onto me, but I may have some smarts because my mom is the hot bartender at the Seventh Heaven who knows martial arts and we're all living with some orphans and I have a little brother named Denzel and maybe a little sister name Marlene, who's hoping not to go back to her dad, because she doesn't like the way that he keeps saying 'I pity da foo' alot and how he has a gun for an arm -takes another deep breath- which reminds me of Fullmetal Alchemist how Ed has an automail for an arm except it's not a gun and speaking of guns, doesn't that Vincent guy have one along with some weird looking claw arm?

DVG: That's the guy!

Loz, who finally woke up: What's going on?

DVG: I was just saying hiiiiiiiiii!

Loz: I'm tired he curls up on Riku's bed and falls asleep

Riku: Everybody just sleep anywhere! -he throws down his magazine-

DVG: Walks over and picks up the magazine How to become a fangirl magnet?

Yazoo: Lend me that some time, I could use some more fangirls! Maybe more than nine. What the heck? How do you keep doing this without spell check!

All except Loz: -Sweatdrop-

Sephy: -Opens the door- What're you guys doing? -Sees DVG- And who's that?

DVG: DVG here to, um, I dunno!

Sephy: What does DVG stand for anyways?

DVG: Dark Vampire Girl, I'm an author! I was created at the Shinra lab!

Sephy: An author! That means you caused all of those bad things to happen in that fanfic...What was it called?

DVG: Can't Touch Dis...I couldn't think of anything else to do with you. But, I'll be selling alot of your plushies in my next chapter!

Sephy: Fine, anyways the pizza's here -He walks outta the room-

Everybody: PIZZA!

-The crazy dark background comes along with the booowoop sound-


End file.

Kingdom Hearts, Humor