Slayers CG's Slayers Movie Trailers

Slayers Movie Trailers (I do not own Slayers or the movies)  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~Rated PG-13.   
  
Eris: You worthless piece of filth! Get off your lazy ass and clean Lord Rezo's lab when you finish using it.   
  
Zel: ::grumble:: But he was always messy.   
  
Eris: GET IN THERE!!!! kicks   
  
Zel: Ow. Bitch. Hey, what's this? It looks like an old gizmo of Rezo's. I wonder if it works.   
  
MVG: Asteroids invading the world's atmosphere tampers with the astral plane...  
  
Zel: I believe this turns it on. There we go. What is it?  
  
Voice: Hello?  
  
Zel: Hello?   
  
Voice: Hello?   
  
Zel: Hello?   
  
Voice: How is this happening?  
  
Zel: I hear you through this invention thingy.   
  
Voice: Damn, I thought I was the only one that invented this. Who is this anyway?   
  
Zel: My name is Zelgadis Greywords.   
  
Voice: Bull^%$#!   
  
Zel: What do you mean? It's my name.   
  
Voice: Listen buddy! I don't know who you or how know my grandson's name but...  
  
Zel: What the hell are you talking about? Who is this?  
  
Voice: My name is Rezo but...   
  
Zel: You can't be... You can't!   
  
MVG: Zelgadis Greywords stumbles onto a way to talk to his grand/great grandfather... who's been dead for a whole lot of years.   
  
Rezo: Astroids are allowing us to talk. Past and future. Ok. So, tell me about yourself.   
  
Zel: You turned me into a hideous stone freak and you tried to destroy the world.   
  
Rezo: Oh... Are you married?   
  
Zel: No.   
  
Rezo: Ah, so lil' Zelly is going to grow up to be a virgin loser.   
  
Zel: ::growl:: I am *not* a virgin loser!   
  
Rezo: Then are you gay? I hope you have found a wonderful boyfriend...  
  
Zel: heats Why you...!   
  
Rezo: At least tell me you have a girlfriend...  
  
Zel: Well I... ::blush::   
  
Rezo: sing-song Zelly got a girlfriend... Zelly got a girlfriend...   
  
Zel: ::growls:: SHUT UP!!!   
  
MVG: Experience warm, tender moments between grandson and grandfather...  
  
Zel: ::cries:: How could you do this to me! How could you...?   
  
Rezo: I don't know, I haven't done it yet.  
  
Zel: You...! ::cries:: I hate you...   
  
Rezo: So how did I die?  
  
Zel: I'm not falling for that! You're dead and you're staying that way!   
  
Rezo: Awww... Look at lil' Zelly walk down the hallway annoying me with his lil' guitar... PLAY THAT IN YOUR ROOM!!!!   
  
Zel: ZELGADIS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!! Don't trust him!! He's...   
  
Rezo: Lil' Zelly already left...     
  
Zel: DAMN YOU, REZO!!!!!  
  
MVG: Experience the magic of Slayer's Frequency.   
  
Rezo: Who's that? Is that me?  
  
Zel: No, that's Eris' copy of you.   
  
Rezo: Oh, a copy of me, huh?  
  
Kopii: Huh? Who...?  
  
Rezo: Hello, it's the original speaking...  
  
Kopii: ::growls:: I'll show you you were nothing but a mistake!   
  
Rezo: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the Real Red Priest please stand up? I repeat...  
  
Kopii: GGRRRR... breaks machine DAMN YOU!!!!!!     
  
~~~~~~~~~~~Rated: PG-13  
  
Movie Voice Guy (MVG): Zangulus Emantsalon was a typical male bounty-hunting jerk with a huge ego.   
  
Zangulus: I will be the best, dammit!   
  
MVG: Until one day while training in a severe thunderstorm he was stuck by 10,000 volts of lightning...  
  
Zangulus: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!   
  
MVG: When he wakes up, strange things start to happen.  
  
Zangulus: Fight me, Gourry!   
  
Gourry: ::sighs:: Not now.   
  
Lina: Go away, you jerk!   
  
Zangulus: Not until I...  
  
Linathinking: Man, this jerk is so %$#@ annoying. Doesn't he have a life? I thought that Jeffery kid was annoying. Geez... Why does he have to think with his dick so much?   
  
Zangulus: ::growls:: What did you say?  
  
Lina: What? I didn't say anything.   
  
Zangulus: That's a lie!   
  
Lina: Huh?   
  
Zangulus: You just said I don't have a life!   
  
Lina: No, I didn't.   
  
Zangulus: But...   
  
Gourry: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?   
  
MVG: He discovers he has a very special gift.   
  
Zangulus: I think I can hear what woman think. It's driving me nuts.   
  
Amelia: Ok, so what am I thinking now?   
  
Zangulus: You think Zelgadis is being an asshole and should put the moves on you already.   
  
Amelia: ::blush:: Uh... let's say that you do have this talent. Why are you treating it like a curse. Men would kill to do what you can.   
  
Zangulus: Really?  
  
Amelia: Yeah, I mean you'll know exactly what your girlfriend wants for X-mas. Uh... when a girl has PMS so you will stay the hell away... Uh...    
  
Zangulus: You're right! This is a blessing!   
  
MVG: And so...   
  
Gourry: Owww...   
  
Lina: ::growls:: Gourry!   
  
WHACK   
  
Linathinking: I'm sorry, Gourry. I love you but I don't want people to think I'm easy. I want to look all bad and tough. Say it when we're alone. I want to get in your pants so bad.     
  
Zangulus: I thought so. ::snicker::   
  
MVG: And so on...   
  
Xellosthinking: What a bunch of morons I must follow around. So unstable.   
  
Zangulus: What the...? I thought I could...   
  
Xellosthinking: Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm using them for Master's plans to destroy the world. ::snicker:: I can't believe someone as scrawny as Lina could be so powerful. Strange things happen sometimes.   
  
Zangulus: Xellos is a girl? ::sweatdrop:: walks towards Lina  
  
Zangulus: Hey, Lina... Guess what I heard?   
  
2 seconds later...   
  
WHACK  
  
Xellos: Owww!!! ::cries:: What did I do?!?!?   
  
MVG: And see how he learns to become a true ladies'man.   
  
Martina: Oh, Zangulus...  
  
Zangulus: Oh, Martina...   
  
Martinathinking: Zangulus has a great ass!   
  
Zangulus: YES!   
  
kiss   
  
Martinathinking: Ohhhh... that guy over there is cute... him too... and that guy and...  
  
Zangulus: ::sigh:: Maybe it isn't a 100% blessing after all.   
  
MVG: Coming to a theater near you.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~Rated R  
  
ring   
  
Gourry: Hello?   
  
Scary Voice Guy (SVG): Are you alone?   
  
Gourry: Who is this?   
  
SVG: What are you doing? What's that noise in the background?   
  
Gourry: Popcorn. Jumbo-sized.    
  
SVG: Oh, you're watching a movie. What movie are you watching?   
  
Gourry: Blazing Saddles.   
  
SVG: That's odd for a late-night movie.  
  
Gourry: Lina gets scared easily.   
  
SVG: What's your favorite horror movie?   
  
Gourry: Give me a minute. Freddy 6 was hilarious. Lina and I laughed and laughed...   
  
SVG: No, no. I mean scary scary...  
  
Gourry: Who is this?   
  
SVG: Well, who is this? I want to know who I'm looking at.   
  
Gourry: What?!?!   
  
SVG: What?   
  
Gourry: Where are you?   
  
SVG: You look so cute in your pjs...  
  
Gourry: It's you, isn't it? ::growls:: I got a restraining order on you! I'm calling the cops!   
  
SVG: NO!!! Wait...  
  
Gourry: Lina told you she was going to kick your ass next time! She'll be over any minute now. STOP CALLING ME!!!!   
  
SVG: Oh come on, Miss LaLa. You don't need her. Give me another chance. I'll change, I swear!   
  
  
By C.G.  
I ^^;;;; know... I know,  
  



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Slayers, Humor, Parody