Slayers 1. Default Chapter

Twin Streams  
By; The Lesser God of Chaos, Comprising Chaos of the mind  
The Morning Mountain of Mission High,  
The one, The only, The dude,  
PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC.  
(also known as he who has ego)  
  
  
Time frame:Rezo is still alive, around three or four years before the original slayers. I  
don't care about Lina and her damn crew in this fic, it's more or less all about Rezo.  
Everywhere else, the timeline will be revealed as we go along. WEEHEEHEE!!!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Intro:   
Enter the Red Priest  
  
The dust was beginning to irritate him.  
  
That was the main point of Rezo The Red Priest's mind.  
  
The dust was getting into his lungs, and making him cough. This was annoying,  
especially in that if he were to cough on what he was reading at the time, it would crumble  
into dust and would take another five hours to restore to a readable state.  
  
  
He had already done this seven times.  
  
The first time he had done this was when he first discovered the text, and had  
laughed aloud, whooping in elation. The text had crumbled in his hand and was spread all  
over the floor and was caught in his flowing robes. It took seven hours to restore it to a  
mildly useful state. The second time he had to restore it was when his assistant Eris had  
dropped the text while attempting to read it and carry it out of the cave in which it laid at  
the same time. This time it took no less than six hours to recover, and it was at the end of  
this effort that Rezo's patience was worn down to nothing.  
  
Upon the third destruction of the text, a rabbit learned a lesson it would never  
forget. On the bright side, he had lowered the restoration time down to around five hours,  
and had created a beautiful new lake where a pesky mountain had once lain.  
  
The next four restorations were performed in more or less the same fashion as this  
previous one, excepting that upon the final attempt, Rezo hunted down and beat a dragon  
into the dirt using nothing but his staff and his own magically enhanced strength. On the  
bright side of this one, he managed to read the first two lines of the manuscript (finally),  
and discovered that this was in fact a manual for the use of the twin gates of Dimension  
and Time. If he were to master this power, he would be able to transverse the bounds of  
time and space as well as enter new dimensions.  
  
Of course, all of this would benefit his search for a cure for his cursed eyesight. As  
you probably know by now, Rezo the Red Priest was incurably blind ( duh...geeze...if you  
haven't watched The Slayers, don't even bother with the rest of this damn story), and his  
search for a cure had now reached a level of desperation that he was going to attempt to  
master the Gates of Time and Dimension ( why do authors bother to explain their plot  
backgrounds like this? It just messes up the story...ah hell, on with it...).  
  
And now he was finally able to get into the text, after no less than three days  
without sleep. Valiantly, Rezo fought to keep his concentration on the text as he read  
(through that obviously magical means he seems to have picked up in one of his past  
travels that somehow enables him to tell exactly where everyone is around him, and where  
they are, and what gestures they are making , AND what printed words on paper say...ah  
hell, you try to explain it) through the next few lines of the casting procedures.   
Apparently, this spell was actually a three part spell, where one had to cast a Portal spell  
to arrive in the realm where the gates lie, and then another one to use the gates of time,  
and yet another to get the Dimension Gates to work.  
  
Reading onward, Rezo found mention of a dimensionally universal guardian of the  
Gate of Time, named as the Ancient Goddess in this text. Never one to think out the full  
effects of his actions, thoroughly convinced in his own infallibility, he skipped all notice of  
this guardian. I'll deal with her when I get there, he thought to himself through the fog in  
his brain.   
  
Finally too tired to continue, Rezo gently laid the book down apon the table, and  
returned to his rooms, miles above on the ground, to finally get a good night or two of  
sleep.  
  
  
***  
  
Chapter One:  
Enter The Ancient One  
  
Naturally, when considering the dangers of inter-dimensional travel and the  
dangers of time travel, one should always research into these topics. It would  
be...interesting to say the least, if one were to plunge on ahead without any knowledge of  
the dangers of either method of transportation. Only a moron among morons would give  
such an endeavor even a second thought, like say...Genma Saotome.  
  
Luckily, our dear Rezo was no such fool. While admittedly, his later actions were  
a little ill advised, and some early ones like becoming Zel's Grandfather and  
Great-grandfather really don't show his brightness, we can safely say that the vast majority  
of his actions were well-advised. It is therefore safe to say that Rezo has in fact learned  
from some past mistakes. In this light, I submit that Rezo did in fact study for his journey  
into time and dimensions, despite other accounts that he slept for five days straight, only  
to awaken to go on another three day mind bender reading the manuscript for another ten  
pages, and then incinerating it. And a medium sized forest.  
  
And so, after due preparation and full research into the subject of time travel,  
along with the world's strongest coffee (Magically enhanced, of course), Rezo completed  
the casting circle on the floor. Eris was away procuring another town house in some  
far-off place he would never visit, so he was free to return whenever he wanted. All of his  
affairs were taken care of, and a handy sub-space pocket spell created an endless supply of  
storage space within the confines of a little pouch that he would keep about his neck at all  
times. Within this pouch were enough magical items and power boosting devices to keep  
a good-sized army at bay with little or no work needed by himself, a good supply of  
clothes and enough spellbooks to power New York for a year, if burned there.  
  
Rezo "looked" over his casting circle. It was an exact replica of the one described  
by the book, and would suit him well. In order to cast all he would have to do was shout  
out "Wakazoo" and the circle would activate, opening a portal into the Realm where the  
Gates lie. Naturally, shouting out nonsensical words was only part of the spell, as with  
any. The book also described a "Return Key" with which he could return to his home time  
and place at any time, and then return to the Gates. This key would be activated with the  
more complex word of "Walarimanium."   
  
With one last "glance" around himself, Rezo shouted out, with the resounding  
crash of his staff apon the ground (creating that nearly-patented piercing sound of metal  
rings bashing together to provide a semi-musical ring), " WAKAZOO!!!"  
  
For a long moment, nothing happened.  
  
In fact, it was several long moments, combined together into one big huge gap of  
time, quite like a Gainax freeze-frame silence from Evangelion. During this time of  
pondering, Rezo quite naturally began to wonder why exactly did he just make a huge ass  
out of himself by shouting out " wakazoo." He then realized what a huge idiot he had  
been to even consider going on this trip to cure his eyes, as he hadn't plumbed the depths  
of his own world, and was much less prepared to go out into another world and hunt  
around in that one. He didn't even know if he was going to be able to use his magic in  
those worlds, thereby making him totally blind and defenseless. He was about to move  
out of his casting circle, totally miffed and disappointed by his latest experiment, but just  
at that moment, it activated, and he was sucked out of his world into the lands before the  
Gate of time.  
  
With a start, Rezo "looked" around and "saw" the place he was in. He was in the  
'Interdimensional Teleportation/Chrono-alteration Zone' as described by the book he had  
just blown up! With a smirk, Rezo reveled in his glory. It had worked! And why the hell  
not? He was the biggest baddest mamma jamma ever. The one. The only. The REZO.   
Behold, for even his ego has the power to kill of its own volition!!! RE-ZO, RE-ZO,  
RE-ZO!!! He heard the masses calling his name in his mind, and even heard little snippets  
of his speech, " I only wanted to cure my eyes, now look at me! I'm the baddest mother  
fucker in the universe!"  
  
Rezo broke off his little tangent. It wouldn't do to be too egotistical, especially in  
a place like this one. He needed to be a calm rock of a man, unflappable in any situation.   
He needed to steel himself for his meeting with the Ancient Goddess. He had already  
come up with a mental image of her in his mind. An old, withered woman, who needed a  
cane or a staff to hold herself upright in long dirty brown robes, who would be awed at the  
sight of one so magnificent and powerful as he was. Why she would..... Rezo again  
bolted down his ego. He would see what she was like soon enough.  
  
Rezo wandered onward into the misty gloom of the 'Interdimensional  
Teleportation/Chrono-alteration Zone,' remembering idly the way to summon the Gates of  
Time. " First, you must transverse a great distance, for this is a test of patience and  
endurance that the Goddess feels must be passed in order to use the Gates," the book said.   
Well, so far on the book had been right, so he would keep following its instructions. With  
that in mind, he trudged onward in a realm without any kind of "visible" or tangible  
ground. All Rezo could "see" were the mists.  
  
Suddenly, as if from nowhere, the twin Gates popped into existence before him.   
Both Gates were unguarded, but only one was open, and this was the Gate of Time.   
Remembering a passage from the book, "The Gate of Time is always open, and the  
Ancient goddess is forever standing before it, watching the eddies and currents of the flow  
of time. Beware her appearance, for appearances can be deceiving." Rezo naturally  
ignored the warning about her, as to him she was nothing more than an old crone who sat  
hunched over, staring idly at the Gate while wondering when tea time was.  
  
"Show yourself, Guardian!" Rezo shouted into the gloom. " I know you are there,  
old crone!"  
  
"And who is an old crone?" a sharp, womanly voice replied from the Gate of Time.  
  
With that said, Rezo began to rethink his theory that the Ancient Goddess,  
Guardian of the Gate of Time was an old crone. Judging from the voice, she had to be  
just barely halfway through the prime of her life, placing her somewhere around twenty  
four or five. The semi-resonant undertones of her voice suggested that she was is  
fantastic health, and was something of a soprano of fair height, without any excess fat  
packed around her body. The way that the tones were pronounced suggested that she was  
in fact a member of some royal court, and therefore had excellent posture. Most  
interesting of was was her ability to force total venom and malice into no more than six  
words, without shouting or even contorting her face.  
  
Within seconds, Rezo's theory became proven fact. The Guardian of the Gate of  
Time then majestically appeared in front of her gate. A resounding echo of WHOA  
resounded within the confines of Rezo's brain. Tall with shapely legs and a figure that  
professional models and the body-obsessed alike would kill for, with long flowing dark  
green hair, and dressed in a short short skirt with a sailor's uniform with added gloves and  
high heel-boots, she was to Rezo as water is to a dying man. Involuntarily, Rezo began to  
do as all men do. He began to ask himself the eternal question of "Hmm...what does she  
look like...without...all that..."  
  
Rezo's mind was wrenched back into reality when he realized that she was in fact a  
powerful magic user, and was not a slab of juicy meat. This little fact was introduced to  
him when she launched a huge purple ball of energy at him. Nice to know this fact, next,  
please? She was also was bearing a tall staff-like pole, which appeared to also be a key to  
the gate. Swinging it around as if it weighed nothing, she launched a near continuous  
barrage of the glowing energy balls.  
  
Rezo then realized that having a body connected to your head is a great thing, and  
useful too, and began to swing his own priestly staff around, knocking the energy balls out  
of the sky. Hey, these weren't so bad... he could probably take a few of these before  
going down and getting blown up. Not quite wussy as a fireball, but not quite as strong as  
a stronger spell, like a Mondo Bolt or something. Sort of mid-range for someone as  
strong as he. Oh well. Might as well retaliate. But we don't want to kill her. All right.   
Let's see what our Guardian can take...  
  
And with that thought, and a pause in the Goddess's firing, Rezo opened fire with  
some easy stuff. "FIREBALL!!!" he called out, using the weaker spell to see just how she  
would handle it. Luckily, she was no slouch, and swung her own staff in a block that was  
nearly identical to his own. Who the hell is this guy? she thought. He's almost as strong  
as I am and he's... not a senshi or a prince of any kind!  
  
The goddess would have pondered more, but Rezo didn't let her do anything like  
that. "MEGA BRANDO!" he called out. Out of nowhere, yellow swirling mists coiled  
around Rezo, glowing with power waiting to be unleashed. Luckily for out Goddess, he  
only used a fraction of the spell's power, or like Sairag, she would have gone up in a big  
huge explosion (for those of you wondering, a Mega Brando is the spell that the clone of  
Rezo used in the original Slayers, whilst fighting the good guys. He used it in the middle  
of Sairag, and damn, what a nice explosion). A circle of burning yellow destructive magic  
shot out in all directions from Rezo. However, in it's current minuscule form, it did not  
damage the Gates, but did damage the Ancient Goddess. A little. With the added bonus  
of adding a blast crater to the scenery of...wherever the hell this was.  
  
" Hah! You think that you can defeat me with that?" The Guardian called out from  
her new locale fifty feet farther away, forcing gusto into her normally calm voice. " I have  
stood guard over this Gate for three thousand years! No one can take them away from  
me!"  
  
Rezo was taken aback. Three thousand years?!?!?! She aged better than he did,  
and that was really saying something. He was only a tenth of her age, and yet... and yet...  
he was stronger than her. He heard it in her voice. The minuscule quaver of someone  
resigning themselves to either kill this person or to go down with them. Rezo had no real  
desire to kill this beautiful woman, but now realizing that he had fully intended to do so  
when he had arrived gave him pause. Reluctantly, Rezo lowered his staff from the guard  
position he was holding it in, and brought it up to his side.  
  
"I have no need to kill you, nor do I wish to take your Gate from you." Rezo said,  
in his most calming and serene voice. "I merely seek your permission to use these gates in  
my quest."  
  
Rezo's actions startled the Guardian. There had been one "visitor" to the Gate  
ever since the Moon kingdom had been destroyed, and she had turned him back without a  
second thought. She should have killed him, but she took pity on him and his pathetic  
ways, and now, she seemed to be getting more business. Her Queen and the Senshi  
guarding her had traveled through the gate before, and then back to their time. After that,  
almost no communication had taken place with Sailor Moon beyond the Guardian's visits  
to the planet and warnings of impending doom. Her main role was to make certain that  
the future she sought came into existence. And now, this man wished to use the Gates of  
Time, with the risk of killing the time stream altogether. This did not sit well with our  
Goddess. On the other hand, this sorcerer had the power to kill her off with little more  
than a phrase and a wave of his hand. He had power to rival that of the Moon Queen  
herself. If not that, then the entire Moon Kingdom. At the moment, she was totally  
invaluable to the future of the queen and her kingdom, so it really would not be to  
spectacular if she were to die. Feeling she had made her choice, she lowered her guard  
and returned to the Gate.  
  
"What do you want?" She asked, now by the side of her beloved Gate again.  
  
"I merely wish to use your Gate to travel through time." Rezo replied in that same   
serene tone.  
  
"And why is that?" the Guardian asked.  
  
After a pause, Rezo answered truthfully, "I wish to find a cure for my eyes. I have  
been blind since my birth, and despite my efforts, I have been unable to lift the darkness  
that veils my sight." Rezo sighed slightly to himself. through his whole life, he had been  
unable to cure himself, no matter how good he became at his art, how many spells he  
learned, or who he went to. It could be no less than a curse, set apon him from the dawn  
of time.  
  
The Guardian was shocked at his words. Up until now she had been unable to get  
a good look at this man, and now that she had, she could confirm that he walked and  
moved with his eyes forever closed. This meant that during the whole fight they had just  
had, he had had his eyes closed and was instead relying on some form of magic to guide  
his motions. It didn't hurt that up close she could see that he was a handsome man of no  
more than thirty or thirty five with a powerful frame that was kept hidden beneath the  
flowing red robes that he wore. It was interesting that he had a vibrant purple hair,  
arrayed in a semi-psychotic style around his head like a pair of wings, and that he had an  
air of mystery that many women find incredibly attractive, with the possible exception of  
our Guardian herself as she was a mystery and it was nothing new. "I see," she replied,  
instantly hating her words.  
  
"Hah. There is no way that you could," Rezo replied in a somewhat darker and  
more despairing tone, "For three hundred years I have been like this, wandering in  
darkness. My mother and father both hated the fact that I was blind, and they both  
wanted nothing to do with me. So, I turned to the arts of magic, and now, after three  
hundred years, I have finally gained enough power to transverse the bounds of time and  
dimensions. I will be cured. And you will not stop me." He filled his tone with such iron  
determination that it was hard for the Guardian not to step back.  
  
Rezo wondered at himself why he was suddenly spilling out his life story to this  
woman he had just met, but would not tell his closest companions about himself. Perhaps  
it was because his companions were with him only for what he could do for them, and not  
spending time with him because he was their friend and father-figure. A sudden burst of  
anger grew within him. They could do nothing for him, yet they stayed by his side.   
Despite his cynical outlook on life, and his short temper, they stood by him. He had no  
business not telling them, just as they had no business not asking about him.  
  
The Guardian looked at his placid face, and saw through the mask covering his  
features. She saw that he was tortured on the inside, that he had been fighting this  
darkness for an eternity. Three hundred years was nothing to sneer at in terms of age,  
even at her age of thirty centuries. Thirty centuries. It sounds so long when it's said like  
that. Suddenly, she was struck by her loneliness during that time. No one had come to  
her in that long, long time, save for a select few, who would likely never pass by here  
again. she then thought about his ordeal, his blindness. Three hundred years was easy for  
her to imagine, but three hundred years without the gift of sight. That would be a torture,  
even if she did learn to live with it as he had. She would be prepared to do anything to  
regain her sight, even kill Crystal Tokyo's chance at existence.   
  
"Three hundred years...how is it that a human can live three hundred years?" she  
asked.  
  
"I am no ordinary human. Just as you are no ordinary goddess."  
  
"...What?" The guardian was taken aback, again. Never in three thousand years  
had anyone called her a goddess. Now that was a compliment. Even if it was a bit  
misguided, it could be no less than the highest form of flattery. "I am no goddess, sorcerer.   
I am the guardian of this gate, appointed by my Queen. My name is Sailor Pluto in this  
realm, and this is my planet."  
  
Rezo was not entirely surprised by the announcement that she was not a goddess.   
if in fact she was one she would have been able to kill him outright, without so much as a  
glance in his direction. He was however bemused that she paid attention to someone else's  
orders. She did after all have the power to end all things with a few very simple actions,  
and could very well rule the universe if she so wished it.  
  
"I am no sorcerer, Sailor Pluto. I am Rezo, the Red Priest. I know the arts of  
magic solely through my quest to cure my eyes. They also come in handy in a potentially  
harmful situation." He smiled and gestured to the large impact crate beside him as he said  
that, turning it into a joke about their recent fight as opposed to a warning about future  
fights.  
  
"I see." Pluto reflected for a moment that he was one hell of a strong magic user  
for a priest, and if he so wished it he could kill her and take her post as Guardian of time,  
and then rule the world. "My skills are used for the defense of this gate, and for the  
defense of my Queen."  
  
Rezo was starting to wonder as to why in the hell he was being to formal with this  
woman. Perhaps it was just some odd form of saying 'sorry for calling you an old crone,  
would you like to have dinner sometime? I know a great place...', or some other form of  
apology. He felt a need to get back to the point of the encounter. "So, will I be permitted  
to pass into the gates?" he said into the awkward silence.  
  
Sailor Pluto was expecting such a turn in the conversation. "No."  
  
"I see... is there no compromise?"  
  
"None."  
  
"Oh. Is that so...." This statement set the wheels within Rezo's head spinning at  
near light speeds. He already knew that he could kill her off fairly easily, their earlier  
battle told him all he needed to know about that. He could easily overpower her  
hand-to-hand, that he could tell just by looking at her magical aura. She was trained in  
magic and magic alone, and skill with the weapon had to come with years of battle-front  
experience, where the learning curve tends to be a bit more nasty, and you learn to fight  
and win at any cost. Rezo, on the other hand had learned from an ancient order of  
fighting warrior priests, the Red Order. There was a particularly good reason as to why  
he was now among the leaders of that order, and that was that he held a massive expanse  
of magical power in addition to his copious fighting skill.  
  
He didn't want her dead though. He would need her while he was journeying, and  
having her as an ally during his travels would be a boon to him if he were to unexpectedly  
end time and the universe as everyone knew it. It would suck greatly if he were to die as,  
well... not only because he is the protagonist of this story, but because he is Rezo, and he  
is, by definition, cool. It would be a shame if he were to die before showing everyone just  
how damn cool he is in the Slayers series, now wouldn't it?  
  
Under these circumstances, Rezo's mind leapt to work like a fish takes to waters in  
which it has lived its whole life. The one weapon that Sailor Pluto had reacted with a  
positive attitude was flattery. That, coupled with his stunning good looks (what, that's  
what Pluto thinks. Don't look at me. I'm just writing a story.) was surely enough to wear  
down even the toughest of frigid bitch hearts.   
  
Besides, Sailor Pluto was, undeniably, hot. Duh. Long, long legs that seemed to  
go on forever until abruptly they met short short skirt that showed off...everything. This  
coupled with the tight tight body suit thing with the cute bow in the front that seemed to  
scream "Look here...LOOK HERE DAMMIT!!!" She had totally flawless skin, a perfect  
face, and a damn cute nose. Who wouldn't want to...ahem...perform acts unsuitable to  
mention in a fic of this rating? Perhaps a male homosexual... but even he would recognize  
that she was well formed first.  
  
A plan had formed in Rezo's mind in the quarter second since he had finished his  
musing phrase. And it went something like this; Hit on girl. Send girl gifts. Sooner or  
later she will cave and you will dance onward into the portals of time, after SCORING!!!   
TOUCH-DOWN!!!! YEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Sailor Pluto was slightly bemused at his expression changes. He seemed to have  
gone from contemplative to ecstatic within a second, and this either meant that he had  
planned for this or that he was a very fast thinker. She naturally assumed the former.  
  
"And just what are you smiling at?" Sailor Pluto said with her usual monotony.  
  
"... Nothing... nothing....," Rezo said, carefully schooling his features into a mask  
of calm again. "Very well Sailor Pluto, I will return to my realm. But I will not relinquish  
my quest to use the Gates. I am not fooled, I could wrest control of them from you with  
minimal effort, but I know that it would be a benefit to have you on my side during this  
journey. Fare you well, my dear. I shall return." And with that final note, Rezo turned  
away from Sailor Pluto, and walked off into the dark gloom around the Gate of Time.   
Under his breath he muttered one word so that none would hear ; "Walarimanium."  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Once again alone in his laboratory, Rezo smiled at the sheer brilliance of his plan.   
All he needed to do was go back to the Gates, drop off a few gifts and some praise, ask a  
few questions, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, and then BAM, she would be his. If not  
physically, than she would at least follow him on his journey. That would be enough...if  
not quite as fun...  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Once again alone, Sailor Pluto turned towards the Gates of Time, wondering  
whether or not Rezo was truthful about his blindness. he seemed to be too sure about the  
way he moved for that to be true. He couldn't be blind. Deep within her, that instinctively  
female part of her reached out to him, and honestly wanted to help him cure his eyesight,  
but this was crushed by the weight of the burden that was hers alone to bear. She could  
not allow him to break the rules...But hadn't she broken the rules herself on many  
occasions? Hadn't she gone against her own will many times just for the sake of her  
Crystal Tokyo? She had tried another way each of those times...hadn't she? She knew  
that she had gone into the future a multitude of times, saving the present with her  
knowledge in the future, but there was no other course of action each of those times. Was  
there?  
  
And with that final question lodged in her mind, she returned to her post before the  
Gates of Time, ever watching her Queen for trouble, and a crucial moment in which she  
would be needed to assist.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
"Wakazoo!!" Rezo shouted, returning to the Gates of Time with minimum fanfare.   
Rezo had prepared for his return visit by bringing along some chocolates, a very nice  
mythril necklace, a bracelet of white gold and platinum with a blood-red ruby imbedded  
within it, and a tiara of silver with twenty diamonds along the outer rim, centering on two  
diamonds the size of walnuts.  
  
Rezo almost always did everything in a big way.  
  
For his next visit, he was planning to bring a slinky dark green evening gown,  
chosen to highlight her dark hair and figure by his assistant Eris. Even though Eris was  
jealous of this little hussy who wanted to steal her dear Rez-chan away from her, she was  
determined to help him cure his eyesight, if only so that she could steal him away by  
wearing practically nothing in his presence. She kept these thoughts to herself however...  
  
Rezo walked right up to the Gates of Time. "Sailor Pluto? Are you in?"  
  
"What do you want?" Returned the voice of Pluto.  
  
"Just to drop by and deliver some gifts. A sort of peace offering, if you will."  
  
Sailor Pluto walked gracefully into the light. She looked over Rezo with an  
incredibly critical eye. He was attired differently today, as opposed to his previous visit  
when he wore tighter more concealing robes to hide himself. Now he wore very loose  
flowing robes that seemed to flutter wildly around him without and kind of breeze. They  
were open entirely in the front, showing his tight open shirt and flowing pants. He stood  
there bare chested, the very image of what a priest was not most of the time; a gung-ho,  
kill-em-all, nuke-'em-till-they-glow, bronze god, BAD ass. It didn't hurt at all that she  
could see his well toned, highly muscled and powerful chest, and diamond cut abdominals  
through the criss-crossing fabric of his shirt (think Sephiroth's under-shirt thing only in  
white with flowing sleeves). No...didn't hurt at all....  
  
Calm down Pluto, she thought to herself, Soul of Ice...Soul of Ice...  
  
"I came here to give you these," Rezo said, knowing full well that his clothing  
choice was having its effect on Pluto, even though she did her best to hide that with her  
icy mask, " I hope they are suitable for you."  
  
"Why the gifts?" Pluto asked, betraying herself with her mildly breathy tone.  
  
"As I stated, they are meant as a peace offering. It is through these humble  
offerings that I seek to beg forgiveness for calling you an old crone yesterday, and then  
attacking you." It was a severe blow to Rezo's pride to call the attack yesterday his own  
fault, but hey, she was hot and he was willing to suffer a little humiliation to get into her...  
fuku. Even now this was putting it on a bit thick for her benefit. He knew that he would  
have to do this so that he could compete with her previous activity of going to a formal  
court before a queen, and the wonderfully flowery language that they used there.  
  
He extended the box containing the three gifts to her. It was really a satin lined  
case, but, hey, it was just a box as far as they were concerned. "Please accept my most  
humble apologies." As he said this, he sketched a formal bow, extending the gift out to  
her with both hands.  
  
Naturally, Pluto was blown away. Here was a man with the full power to kill her  
with a pretty phrase, bowing to her formally in a manner that fitted a formal court, looking  
like a serious bad ass, with bulging muscles as far as the eye could see, and he was  
offering her a case with... she opened the case... DAMN good looking jewels. Her perfect  
calm was shattered momentarily as she stared at the tiara. Diamonds the size of eggs...  
whoa..... she would need a levitation spell just to walk around with it on and not strain her  
neck. Her eyes widened into a very pleased expression, with her mouth forming a  
soundless 'OH MY GOD.'  
  
Rezo was just about on this side of heaven. Damn straight. Who knows his shit?   
REZO. Who is the king? Rezo. Who is the pimp Daddy?! REZO, byatch!!! These  
thoughts went through his head. Or more accurately their equivalent in slang from Rezo's  
homeworld, so it came out more like: But of course. Who knows all? Rezo. Who is the  
High Omnipotent One? Rezo. Who is the Boon unto Women?! Rezo, mongrel!!! This  
linguistic difference aside, the meaning was the same. Rezo was on a serious ego high.   
And his plan was working.  
  
"Where did you get these?" Pluto asked, already warming to Rezo.  
  
"They are old family heirlooms really. I have fairly well given up hope of finding  
the right woman in three hundred years, so by giving them to you I can at least assure that  
they are kept in good hands. For the past century and a half they have done no more than  
collect dust on a shelf."  
  
"They're... beautiful."  
  
"Of course they are. They were made by my great-great-grand father, a smith of   
fantastic magical items. These are some of the few items he made that were not magical in  
origin. Then again, their ability to bring joy to the women in my family has been nothing  
short of magical. Without fail, they have saved my family from disaster. Perhaps I will tell  
you some of the stories about them later."  
  
"I cannot accept these... they're too good...and they're also family heirlooms...it  
would be...wrong..." Pluto said, trying to convince herself more than him to give them  
back.  
  
"As I said, they have done no more than collect dust over the past century and a  
half. Perhaps you will be more kind to them." Rezo said this with a lightly demur tone,  
knowing full well that she wanted these three items. A lot. Hell, a queen would be damn  
impressed, if only for ten seconds.  
  
"Very well then, Rezo. I shall accept your apology." Sailor Pluto straightened,  
once again regaining her composure. " Now may I ask, why have you returned really?   
The answer is still the same. You may not use the Gates of Time. And your presence  
here is distracting me."  
  
Right right, the old Ice Queen Facade. Or however you spell it... anyway, Rezo  
knew the only way to shatter the mask, and that was doubt. "I have come back to  
apologize to you, and yet you accuse me of seeking to use the Gates in a disruptive  
manner? True, this is what I seek, but I would never do so without your permission. In  
fact, I would ask you to accompany me while I journey, if only to prevent any mishaps  
that may occur. But now I ask you this, Guardian, have you never 'misused' the Gates, as  
you are accusing me of wanting to do? Have you not, 'broken the rules,' as it were. Even  
the strongest of spirit must feel the pull of the Gates, as I did the moment I stood before  
them, only yesterday. Honestly, have you ever used the Gates in a way you may see as  
wrong?"  
  
His little speech had done the trick. He could tell she was plunged into self doubt.   
He relaxed and waited for the answer that would doubtless follow. The only question was  
whether or not she would be truthful to him, and not lie to herself.  
  
"... Rezo... there have been times when there was no other course...I was stuck. I  
had to use the Gates. It was simply necessary. I had to do it to save my Queen, and to  
save myself." Sailor Pluto mentally berated her mouth for betraying her so. Ordinarily she  
would never have given away such a vital piece of information, and never have let any  
stranger into her guard so easily. It was just that he seemed so trustworthy, and he  
seemed to truly mean well. Against her will, she found herself being drawn to this  
blustering buffoon of a man. Flowery words and pretty gifts only went so far with many  
people, and in the end it came down to who they were, inside. She could tell there was  
something about him that struck her as stunning, it was just that she had no idea what it  
was, or how he used it. It was almost magic, the way that he managed to draw her in with  
his mere presence.  
  
"There is always another way, my dear. If there is one thing that living among  
hostile thieves, warring armies, and terrible magics for three hundred years has taught me,  
it is that there is more than one way to solve any problem. You just have to wait it out  
and see what happens. And most importantly, think it through. I know that I have abused  
my power on many occasions, but in the end I only sought a cure. I need this darkness to  
be lifted. I need to see light, and colors, and patterns, and red and blue and indigo.... I  
just want to see. Just as you want your Queen to live to see another day, I would do  
anything for my eyes to be cured, and I have done just that, anything. I fully intend to do  
anything as well. The difference here is that I long ago stopped lying to myself. I know  
what I'm doing and why. Now, will you stop deceiving yourself?"  
  
Rezo knew that it was only through opening himself up that he could open her up.   
it was very much going to be a sharing of experiences. Telling the story of his life was  
only going to get him so far. What he really needed to do was tie in his experiences to  
hers. This he had done, but not without a cost. He now felt more and more tied into her  
life, and more and more like they were counterparts. That was the danger of this kind of  
mind-work. The problem of getting attached to your target. While he certainly did want  
to get attached to her, he did not want her to be so close to him that he would not be able  
to remove her if she became a threat to him.  
  
Pluto let Rezo's words set in. He seemed to be much more willing to open up than  
she was, and she knew that it was only a matter of time before she gave in to his  
proddings and opened her iron clad defenses to him. She felt... closer to Rezo. They had  
something in common, even more so than what he realized. She felt the truth of his  
statement. He had done as he had said he had done. Likewise, she had abused her power.   
But it was always for a greater good. It was always for the Moon Kingdom. To her, the  
end justified totally the means. She would do anything for her Queen, this was true.  
  
After a moment of contemplative silence, Pluto spoke again. "I will not deny  
abusing my power. But it was always for the greater good. My Queen and my Kingdom.   
The ends justify."  
  
Rezo almost smiled. "Then you know exactly how I feel."  
  
Rezo turned then, and left the Dimension, giving Sailor Pluto room for thought.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
  
It was all happening too fast.  
  
Meioh Setsuna (Sailor Pluto's normal human form) sat pondering her life over a  
cup of slightly cooling tea in her favorite cafe. Not that she was wont to become attached  
to a single place or time, it was just that this cafe seemed to attract her for no reason, and  
it was at this cafe that she spoke with the other Outer Senshi on occasion.  
  
She was not expecting them this night. In fact she had made certain that the two  
were... occupied with each other before she came out of her hideaway. She had needed a  
little time to think alone, and thinking while standing in front of the gates, where that  
pig-headed bastard of a priest had dared to... had dared to.....  
  
Had dared to force questions into her mind.  
  
Was she really misusing the Gates as he accused her of doing? There was always a  
reason for such actions before, but light of what the priest had said to her, they all seemed  
to fade away into a background of doubt. A background of doubt laced with sorrow and  
regret so strong that it threatened to crush her beneath its weight.  
  
Yes, boys and girls. Meioh Setsuna had just figured out that she had been a  
complete idiot for the past few thousand years. And she was not happy. And like all  
ice-queen impersonating fools, she now had to face herself, and recover her lost  
confidence. She had broken her own oath to herself, and had betrayed herself. Even  
worse, when she had known that what she did was probably wrong, she had still acted  
under the guise that the future would be saved. And in truth, the future would be saved.   
it was all for the greater good. But at what cost? It was truly unimaginable that what she  
had done, seemingly so insignificant in a great cosmic scale had the potential to tear out  
and kill everyone, ending all existence in a waving sea of chaos, paradox, and darkness.  
  
If anyone had been observing Setsuna at that moment, they would have noticed a  
woman, in appearance to be in her mid-twenties, wearing a dark green businesslike outfit  
with a black blouse and dark green blazer and skirt, who was quietly nursing a cup of tea  
in the front of the cafe, and then shuddering slightly, as if from a cold draft. They would  
have turned their attention away eventually, to discuss something with whoever they were  
with. If one of the few people who knew Setsuna had been observing her, they would  
have automatically felt concern, and even fear. Setsuna almost never showed up in real  
time, and never, EVER showed any kind of emotion. That shudder had definitely been a  
sob, and they would have seen the tear slide down her cheek, and land in the cup in front  
of her.  
  
She was crying. Not because of anything she had done. It was over, and she  
could not undo the past out of simple regret. Undoing any one thing would undoubtedly  
lead to a severe case of paradox in the Time Stream, in many more than one way. And  
there was no guarantee that if she undid her past that the future would still exist.  
  
She was crying about what she could have done. Dear God, she could have ended  
the world on any number of occasions, if only because the future was at stake. This  
thought was twisting its way through her mind like a snake on acid. She knew then that  
she had to be more conservative with her power, even though she had already taken a  
'conservative' route. Well, that route got her here, and now she would be damned if she  
were to end the world by chance. To hell with the future. The future has some  
importance to that.  
  
Her control finally back over her appearance, she wondered why she had ran out  
of her solitude to come here and think out such a trivial thing. So she had to use less  
power. Big deal! She would have figured that out in her own realm with time. No. The  
real reason for coming here was to escape that... man. The Red Priest. That bastard.   
Somehow, he had been able to push her over the edge with just a few words. And those  
words were not even all that strong. He certainly should not have had the effect that he  
had on her. No. It wasn't in the words that he said. It was in the way he had said them.   
Right from the start, there was some thought provoking essence behind his words that  
somehow reached out and caressed her. Somehow, he had said the words he did in just  
the right tone to cast doubt on everything she had done and convey to her a sense of  
loathing for every time that she had ever misused the time stream.   
  
Normally she would not have listened to the tone of someone's voice, unless it was  
of great attention, but this man had done everything in just the right way to insure that he  
had her attention and sympathy right form the start. In showing up unexpectedly he had  
surprised her, no mean feat. In defeating her, he had shown that he had the power to  
crush her at any time, and was just doing what he did out of either pity or some perverted  
sense of amusement. In offering her gifts he had shown that he was in fact catering to the  
former of the two, and in asking her forgiveness, he had shown humility and a willingness  
to cooperate with whatever she wanted. Finally, with his last few words, he had made it  
apparent that they had similar goals, and were, in essence, kindred spirits.  
  
This, coupled with the tone of voice put into everything had driven her out of her  
realm to the comforts of this cold cup of tea.  
  
She had to give the guy credit. Once looked at with all of the experience of her  
three thousand years, gazing into peoples lives and watching them all, occasionally mixing  
around with their actions, and manipulating them subtly to do what she wished, she  
realized that this man had done to her exactly what he had wanted to do to her, without  
her knowing. And he had even gained himself a foothold in her mind while he was at it.   
She knew that she would be unable to stop thinking about the manipulative jackass after  
this.  
  
She allowed herself a little smirk. Well, now the game was up. She knew what he  
was doing, and how to end his threat. All she needed to do now what get him to enter her  
little side-dimension again, and she would trap him there, and she would end his story  
right then and there. With a little nod to herself, she left the table, and entered the  
women's restroom. Entering one of the stalls, she pulled out the Garnet rod, and opened  
the portal to the Gates of Time.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
  
Rezo looked up from his work at the little hourglass that rested on his table.   
Naturally, he had timed the events of Sailor Pluto's mind to the last hour, and figured that  
if she hadn't realized that he had been toying with her for a little bit by now, she never  
would. Rezo allowed himself a little smirk. Everything was going according to plan.  
  
Now if only Eris would stop trying to get into his pants.  
  
It really was amazing how annoying it can be when someone is trying to get into  
your pants, especially when this person is someone who you could not care less for, and  
do not find attractive in any fashion. Yes, she was well endowed, sure. Whatever. It  
takes more than large breasts and a killer ass to attract Rezo, The Red Priest, thank you.   
Rezo liked women with brains. It had been to damn long since he had a good battle of  
wits, and the last time he had had one it was with a woman, and it was a damn powerful  
turn on. Someone who could spar with words just as well as with anything else. That  
would be nice to have. The killer ass and large knobs were just the added bonus. They  
weren't really necessary to the picture anyway. It wasn't like Rezo could see them or  
anything.  
  
Rezo forced his attention back to the new staff he was working on. This new one  
would be imbued with great portions of magic, of all varieties, before the night was  
through. It would act as a sort of sensory boosting antennae that could also dub as an  
indestructible weapon (kinda like the howling sword, only as a big rod with clinking rings  
on one end) and as a magical boosting device, lending extra power to each of his attacks.  
  
As though he needed it.  
  
It was still nice to know, just in case say... one of his Dragon Slaves failed to blow  
up the planet at half power, or he were unable to bring a horde of zombies into existence  
while asleep, or he couldn't grow someone a new body spontaneously after being  
beheaded while he was up on some hallucinogenic. Really. Oh well. Some habits die  
hard, and when making magical weapons, sometimes its best to put in some special  
functions, like the ability to freeze time for 30 seconds. Even if that phrase itself was an  
oxymoron.  
  
The staff would be ready in around five minutes. It just had to be tempered in  
dragon blood. No big deal. He still had thousands of gallons of the stuff in his basement  
from that time he found a dying dragon in the wilderness, and figured; 'Hey, when that  
thing is dead I could seriously use the parts. All right, how about I take it home when its a  
carcass.' Rezo had never really liked the killing dragons part of being a protector of idiot  
pathetic humans who could see and flaunted it all the time, giving their damn language  
such mannerisms as 'I see what you mean,' and ' look, I get your point.' So he waited for a  
day, and when the dragon was dead, he... recycled it.  
  
The rod/staff/priest thing was done now. Rezo hoped that the thing would be  
powerful enough for whatever lay ahead. It was just a matter of a few words, and then he  
would be wandering through time, hunting for a cure to his blindness. And he would find  
it.  
  
For a moment, Rezo thought about Sailor Pluto. His little magic seemed to have  
worked well enough on her. To think that a little vocal spell was all that was needed to  
sway most people to accept what one said as truth. And with a little adjustment to that  
spell, he could fiddle around with what people thought too. He could even project his  
own feelings into someone else, and they wouldn't notice a damn thing. And the better  
part of this was that there was virtually no defense from the spell. As far as he knew, only  
deaf people were immune, and hell, he could cure them of that easily enough. Any sound  
usually caught most people's attention after a bit, sharp sounds were easily enough to  
come by, and then it was just a little nudge in the right direction, and presto, you have  
someone who wants exactly what you want.  
  
Not that this was a really good thing either. It was better to take the spell up to a  
certain point and then let it be. Then manipulation came easier. And then the whole thing  
just got funner than heck. This is what he did with Sailor Pluto. Long years as a student  
of an order of Priests that were prized for their ability to solve any situation with  
diplomacy, help anyone with a troubled mind, and cure almost any ailment had left Rezo  
with more than his share of experience with the human mind. And what a silly little thing  
it was. Oh, he was aware that he was obsessive (it really would not do to lie to oneself  
like that), and he did know that many of his problems were based around a severe  
inferiority complex that was brought on through envy of other people and their damn  
ability to see. These aside, he was gifted with an understanding of how people think under  
stress.  
  
Taking note of the fact that Sailor Pluto, no matter what she may or may not have  
done, was not a bumbling moron, and therefore would be able to figure she was being  
manipulated slowly. Even after only two visits to her he knew that either her natural  
suspicion would kick in, or that she would crack under the pressure, regain control, and  
start thinking about him in an objective sense. She really couldn't help to be suspicious of  
him anyway. She was a woman after all, and he was a man. Only natural.  
  
It worked the same way in a romance. The male does something stupid. The  
female gets a funny vibe and starts asking questions about it. They break up in a tear felt  
session of shouting. Five days and a lot of tears later the woman gets around to thinking  
that the male was no good for her, and she might al well move on, doing the same thing  
she has always done only with a little more caution for a bit. Through this method, the  
woman finds the truth (the man was no good for her), and nothing is accomplished beyond  
the man getting away from the woman, which he probably wanted in the first place.   
Otherwise, why do something stupid?   
  
Naturally, this was just one scenario to fall back on, but Rezo felt that it would  
apply beautifully to the situation. He would get into the Time Stream, and Sailor Pluto  
would get him out of her hair for a bit. However, if he managed to play his cards right, he  
would be able to gain a powerful ally in the Senshi, and potential friend.  
  
All of his feelings about that first conversation and each following were true. He  
had no idea why he had opened himself up to her so that she would open up to him.   
There were much less dangerous methods of getting information out of someone anyway.   
Perhaps it was the feeling he got from her that they really did share something in common.  
  
Oh well. He would find out soon enough what she felt about him, and when that  
time came, he would be more or less ready for it.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Editors Note: Although I'm fairly certain my brother will kill me for writing this, I   
couldn't resist. HE CAN'T SPELL WORTH BEANS!!!! HIS GRAMMAR IS  
AWFUL!!!! I found no less than 256 grammar and\or spelling mistakes in this one  
chapter! Why the heck can't he just learn?????? AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!! ::gets  
surrounded by some men in white coats:: Hey, who're you? ::gets dragged away to the  
funny farm:: I'll be baaacckkk!!!! Just you wait, Henry Higgins!!!   
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)  
  
Authors note: ...right... erm... stick around for the next chapter, I wont put that up for  
maybe another week or so... I write slow-like.... umm... Henry Higgins?  
  
A big shout out to mah boyz Omer, Andrew S, Andrew D, Andrew G, Aaron, Baron, and  
yes, even Nick, you annoying prick.  
  
A big thanks to Fire, for writing and for existing, Carrotglace, for writing Insertion,  
perhaps the best damn fic I have read yet, Anime Addiction for writing some of the first  
fics that I read, Night Hawk, for the good ones (most of the ones of his I have read were  
good, so don't ask for clarification), and to every Fanfiction author on the web whose  
works I've read, and therefore gleaned inspiration from. Also a bit thanks to my little sis,  
Osage no Onna, who I would be lost without, as she is my source of information on any  
anime that I have no memory of. As I have a worse memory than Shinnosuke, that means  
one hell of a lot of damn Anime.... She's also my editor...as I cannae spell worth goat fat.  



	2. Twin Streams 2

Twin Streams  
Ch 2: Why Not?  
  
The wait was beginning to irritate her.  
  
This was the main point on Sailor Pluto's (a.k.a. Meioh Setsuna) mind.  
  
The wait was getting on her nerves. It could be taken as slightly humorous that such a trivial thing as waiting still could bother Setsuna, after all, she had been sitting in front of a damn doorway for about three thousand freaking years. Then all of a sudden some prick by the name of Rezo the Red Priest (what's up with that long-ass name, anyhow?) pops up out of nowhere, picks a fight, and changes her view on life.  
  
Jackass.  
  
Setsuna allowed herself a little smirk. Not much, but enough to display her pleasure at setting up such a mind-bogglingly devious trap for the little....GRRR.... that no one would be able to escape anything of the sort. In all of her time watching over all of the Time Stream, Setsuna had become intimately acquainted with thousands and thousands of forms of traps. Magical traps were simply an extension of physical traps, reaching into the surrounding area's pool of mana. This in combination with some fairly heavy metal bars, a pressure plate, motion sensors, laser trajectory calculation devices, infrared heat sensors, UV radiation dampers, and a big, big spike practically guaranteed the capture of one arrogant priest, and his subsequent... disposal. All of that technical crap had been absurdly expensive. However, with a little careful manipulation in the past, quite a sizable sum had been saved under one of her aliases, one William Gates. It really wore down on her to have to take on the body of a man from time to time, much more so that of one who looked like a turtle, but it paid off. Big time.  
  
Now if only little Priest-boy would show up and let the trap fall on him.  
  
She had tried looking into the Time Stream for this particular event, but for some reason the future was closed off to her. There was only one being with the power to do such a thing, and that was her future self. Thus meaning that whatever happened, she would be all right in the end. This decided, she then just had to wait until he showed up and let whatever happened happen. There still was a chance that things would not go as planned, but that never stopped her before. She would just have to do everything in her power to make sure that everything turned out OK for her Crystal Tokyo in the end. If that meant ruining five hours of planning and execution by killing him off before gloating over him, then it would have to be done.  
  
In an uncharacteristic display of emotion, Setsuna tilted her head back to laugh maniacally. In truth, it really didn't come out all that impressive as, say, Kodachi's howling fit of banshee-like bursts of evil " HOHOHO"s. Nevertheless, it still had the desired effect on Setsuna's ego, thus making her feel all warm and fuzzy like a kitten who had just caught a mouse. Hm... so that's why all those 'blasted nega-verse creeps' laugh like that, she thought.  
  
"You know, coming from you, that has to be one of the scariest things I have ever heard."  
  
Hearing that voice froze the blood in Setsuna's veins. He was here. And all it would take was the press of the little red button on the little round controller she held in her had to ensnare that bastard in a trap without escape of any kind.  
  
Again she allowed herself a little smirk.  
  
This was going to be fun.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Rezo had intentionally waited for Setsuna to gather her thoughts in herself before leaving. He knew perfectly well that this little wait had given her enough time to set up any manner of traps. In fact, it had been damn well enough time for her to collect herself and prepare to blast the hell out of him with something like a Giga Slave. If she had enough power for that sort of thing. And a special relationship with the Lord of Nightmares, queen of the Mazoku, the strongest force in all Darkness, the leader of those without souls, and all that other gibberish.  
  
Rezo certainly didn't have that spell at his disposal. If he had, then he would have ruled the word, just for fun. It wasn't that he didn't have enough power for that kind of world shattering thing, it was just that somehow back in the years he had managed to piss of the Lord of Nightmares. Certainly not one of his more... intelligent feats, yet one of them none the less. Somehow, it seemed, the Lord did not take kindly to little jokes and some... shall we say, interesting comments from Rezo regarding the Lord's personal background and upbringing. And mother.  
  
If there is one universal law to abide by, you do not mess with all-powerful, god-like beings and their mothers. The Lord's response was to curse Rezo to wander the earth forever, until he revoked his beliefs that the Lord was a 'a thieving bastard whose mother was a hamster and whose father smelt of elderberries.'  
  
Sound familiar?  
  
Rezo smiled a little bit as he took his little stroll down memory lane. Too bad that he had taken his apparent immortality as a boon of unimaginable proportions, bestowed on him by a forgiving and loving Lord of Nightmares. That just pissed the bitch off more. Now, the Lord had vowed never to pay attention to the little mortal who insulted her, and only to listen to those who wished to kill the jackass.  
  
Oh, well.  
  
Rezo hefted his new battle staff. It was considerably heavy, but nothing more than his previous staff. He could have made it lightweight, but where would the fun be in that? Besides, as the old adage in his priesthood went; 'the heavier the staff, the more will the mind needs to wield it.' Whatever the hell that meant.  
  
It was no secret that Rezo had joined the Priesthood only so that he could cure his eyes, and after some thirty years of selflessly devoting himself to the lessons, toiling day in and day out under the burning sun finding inner peace and calmness so that he might use the more powerful spells in white magic, and studying for endless hours upon hours the ancient texts describing those very techniques that he realized that it was all just a bunch of religious mumbo jumbo surrounding raw power, and if he could harness that raw power without having to sit on a rock at the top of a mountain naked meditating on exactly what the wind was doing to his then straight and flowing hair, then all the better, thank you very much. When he confronted the head priests about this little problem between what he was actually doing and the end result, he had been totally surprised by their reaction.  
  
The entire council of Head Priests, to whom he had devoted much of his life and loyalty to for some thirty years, stood as one, and gave him a long round of applause. This quickly evolved into general hooting and hollering at him in congratulations and general merriment. When the commotion had died down into heavy drinking, they had finally explained to him that the whole thing was just a test. It seemed that the entire host of Head Priests had too figured this out, and had then subsequently been ushered into the higher ranks of the order, where they were then taught the real techniques.  
  
This was upsetting. Thirty long years of hard labor under the burning sun and all that nonsense was REALLY and TRULY ::pause for dramatic effect:: NONSENSE!?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SHIT IS THIS?!?!?!? This was his actual reaction to the news as well, which was also followed by a round of applause. He was then welcomed into the ranks of the Red Order.  
  
Rezo's left eye twitched slightly. If he was going to sit around all day becoming so damn nostalgic about his younger years then he might as well give up on the whole damn time/dimensional travel bit and sit around at home as an old senile man. Which he was not. Three hundred years young, thank you. And with his extensive knowledge of white magic, he would probably never age. All the better, as he still needed to find a cure for his blindness. One time, long ago, he had found a....  
  
Rezo bashed himself over the head with his staff. The ringing in his ears was a good thing. It would keep his mind on the task ahead. Right.  
  
" WAKAZOO!!!" He bellowed, instantly transporting to the Gate of Time.  
  
This time when he appeared, he was standing right next to the Gates. Must've gotten lucky this time... he thought. When he rounded the corner, a strange sight revealed itself before him.  
  
Sailor Pluto was... LAUGHING.  
  
It wasn't just laughing per say, it was more like evil maniacal psycho laughter, kind of like his own psycho laugh only more as a woman. Such differences do make a difference you know. Once, long ago, he had met a....  
  
Rezo abruptly turned and bashed his head against one of the side pillars of the Gates of Time. He was not going to lose control now. Especially with her standing right over there, laughing. What the hell was up with that anyway? Every time he had showed up before, albeit two times, but you really get the feel of someone in the first two times you meet them. There was one time when Rezo had...  
  
Twelve successive head-buts on the pillar later, Rezo had regained enough control to turn around the pillar and speak to Sailor Pluto. "You know, coming from you, that has to be one of the scariest things I have ever heard."  
  
This unexpected arrival had the desired effect on Setsuna, making her freeze up and hunch over in such a way as to totally betray whatever she was planning to do. With her little motion, anyone could tell that she had been planning to do something to the Priest, probably involving the little metal cylinder-thing in her left hand. The motion her body had gone through was an exact replica of what most children do when their hand gets stuck in a cookie jar and their mom shows up and asks them what they think they're doing.  
  
Kind of funny really.  
  
"So, you showed up," Setsuna said, her confidence showing through in her words. "Too bad you wont be leaving." With that said she raised her hand and pushed the red button on the controller.  
  
Out of nowhere, hundreds of bars shot out on all sides, all of them with intended destinations mapped out by the laser trajectory thingies. They all rammed into the body of Rezo, in all of the sensitive areas, as well as firing across and around his body like a. in close metal cage/torture device. Rezo's staff was knocked out of his hand and flew straight out to Setsuna's feet. Now, with his arms and legs pinned together and at the sides of his body, his head held in place by metal bars that threatened to crush his skull at any moment, and a big, big spike positioned over his most vital organ (within which the ability to reproduce is held, you know the one.), he was helpless.  
  
The fact that the bars were enchanted to heat up and burn him to a crisp at any moment did not escape his notice. The same with the now semi-perfected maniacal laughter coming from Sailor Pluto. "So, dear Rezo. Were you expecting such a trick from your Ancient Goddess? OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"  
  
"Actually I was expecting something a little more involved, but this isn't that disappointing," Rezo said truthfully. It wasn't a bad trick, but with a little bit of work he would be out in no less than two words.  
  
"Do not think about escape, Rezo. If you try any of your black magic on this contraption, it will do no more than make the bars grow hotter. If you do anything more than a simple light spell, you will be destroyed."  
  
"Thank you for the warning," Rezo with real gratitude in his voice. "So, did you have some questions you would like me to answer?"  
  
Setsuna was flabbergasted. The priest seemed totally unconcerned about the existence of the trap she had worked to hard to employ on him. Even the magic, which had been something of a stretch for her to be able to conjure up (as she had little experience in any magic beyond her Dead Scream) should have had anyone fairly well quivering in terror. His willingness to answer questions was maddening.   
"All right. What is your real name?"  
  
"Rezo is my real name. There is nothing more than Rezo, and there never was. Next?"  
  
"Where do you come from?"  
  
"At this point I'm fairly certain I'm from another dimension than you, as there is no further mention of you in any more than one book. I imagine that there would be thousands of legends about someone like you, and the Gates of Time. If you really want to be exact though, I came here from 43rd Lightsword Ave., Sairaag, Sairaag 78768. Next?"  
  
"Who the do you think you are coming here? No one has any right to be here beyond myself and my Queen!"  
  
"In honesty, I think I am an all powerful god-like being who can get out of this trap so easily that it's not even funny to think about, and I'm only sitting here because it amuses me to a certain point how stupid you silly mortals can be. It is at this point that I would like to add a brief burst of psychotic laughter to my diatribe, however I do not wish to anger you more than you already have been. Next?"  
  
Sailor Pluto was... angry. There really is no other way to describe the emotion she was feeling at this point beyond that simple word. Any more addition to it and it would be marred by unnecessary detail.  
  
"What do you mean escape from that trap?"  
  
"I mean that this trap will only stop black magic. Nothing else. For example; BLAM BLAZER!!!"  
  
And with a brief burst of blue light, the bars blasted off and melted away around Rezo. The cloud of smoke cleared away from Rezo in a well practiced manner to make him seem all the much greater and more magnificent than he really was. A great magical aura of burning yellow and blue came forth around Rezo, and eerie mists began swirling about him as if he were an ancient god, incarnate on Earth.   
  
"So, Sailor Pluto. We will now begin with your interrogation session."  
  
Setsuna was afraid. For anything to have that kind of magical aura, they had to be one hell of a strong-ass magic user. For any kind of battle aura, one had to be immensely strong, much stronger than she was. They also had to be immensely evil. There was no way that anyone with that kind of power could remain uncorrupted, and the fact that he was using black magic only went further to prove her point. That spell he had used earlier, however, that was definitely not black magic. It was something natural, peaceful in nature. How he could perverse such power to his needs was definitely beyond her. He had to be incredibly skilled in magic... and now he was going to use that skill against her.  
  
Without further blathering, Rezo raised his staff to the sky and crashed it mightily into the ground. The rings crashed together in an almost musical note, shattering the silence of the air. Without warning, the ground all around Setsuna erupted upwards, seemingly like a sentient creature, and enveloped her entire body, except for her face.  
  
"Like it? Its a fairly complicated trick, especially until you get the hang of casting six or seven different spells at the same time, but I'm sure you will be able to figure it out when I'm done. However, please note that there is an enchantment on this thing to constrict if you lie to me. Lie more than three times, and your head will pop off."  
  
"You BASTARD!!!"  
  
"I've been called worse. Besides, I have an old friend who calls me worse than that every time I write to that jackass. Ah, well. Friends are more important than silly disputes, don't you think?"  
  
"I'll KILL YOU!!!"  
  
"Sure you will. But first you will answer a few questions."  
  
"I'D RATHER DIE!!!"  
  
"That can be arranged. Or would you rather stay alive so that you can live to make certain your queen lives through the night using your Gates? I know what you've been doing, its not that hard to guess at it."  
  
"ROT IN HELL!!!"  
  
"I know perfectly well where I'm going when I die, thank you. No need to get huffy over it. Now, Sailor Pluto, what is your name in reality?"  
  
"I.... I... I am called Meioh Setsuna in my reality."  
  
"Setsuna? Thats a nice name. You really shouldn't go around giving out fake names. Sailor Pluto. Bah, that has to be the dumbest name I've ever heard. Anyway, Setsu-chan, what is the name of your queen?"  
  
"...My queen is named Serenity..." The solid rock encasing her began to constrict slightly. "She was Serenity! She was Serenity, then she died and got reborn as Usagi..."  
  
"She knows the Reincarnation spell? Hmm, thats a bit complex for a rabbit, don't you think? Well, if she knows the Reincarnation spell, she has to be a powerful white magic user. Is your queen a powerful white magic user?  
  
"...she is..."  
  
"Very good. Now, you are called Sailor Pluto. Is this a name that you came up with by yourself? Or was it appointed by your queen?"  
  
"...It was appointed..."  
  
"Great. If you would stop pausing before you answer to consider whether or not telling me will compromise your security or whatever, that would be a great help, and I will let you out a little earlier. So, are there any other Sailor whatevers I should know about?"  
  
"No." Again, the rock began to constrict. "I mean yes, there are others."  
  
"Oh. Is that so? All right. How many are there, and what are they guarding?"  
  
"There are one for each planet in my solar system. All of them are guarding the Queen."  
  
"Ah. Aha. I take it you want to hide the number of planets in your solar system. all right. Despite the fact that my world isn't that strong in the science department, we do know how many that is. Thats what, five? Not so bad. How many of them are stronger than you?"  
  
"Only two."  
  
"Two of them are stronger than you. Shouldn't be too bad. Unless one of them has the equivalent of a dragon slave up their sleeve. Tell me, does one of your Sailors have the power to blow up a city in one spell?"  
  
"No." Strictly speaking it wasn't a lie. Sailor Saturn wasn't awake yet, and even though it would be terrible to have someone around who could blow up an entire planet with three words, she would be a great weapon to use against Rezo.   
  
" All right Setsu-chan. I believe you. But for the moment, I think it would be better for you to...take a brief break." Rezo smiled disarmingly. " Oyasumi nasai, Setsuna."  
  
Rezo lifted his arm, and with a slight thought and a flick of the wrist, a powerful sleep spell hit Setsuna, sending her off to lala land faster than she could register it.  
  
Rezo then turned to the Gates of Time. Time to see what this can do.....  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Darkness surrounded Setsuna. It was the darkness at the end of time, she knew. It was the one thing that she knew she could never stop, then end of all things, the Armageddon, the Apocalypse, the End. It was something that had haunted her dreams ever since the first day she took her post as Guardian of Time.   
  
The initiation test for the Senshi of Time was traditionally a brief, straight to the point ceremony, comprising a fifteen minute period when the candidate would see all of the entire future of the Universe. Needless to say, there was a whole fuck of a lot of future to the Universe, but always, no matter how one looked at it, the end of the Universe happened the same way every time, at the exact same point in time. It was the End that truly proved whether or not one was fit to be a Senshi. The test had been known to shatter even the most hardened mind, and there was no defense against nothingness.  
  
Every Senshi had nightmares about the end. It was the one thing out of their control. Therefore, it was the biggest and most terrifying thing to ever occur anywhere on the Time Stream. The fact that time did not exist after it was merely a side effect.  
  
Setsuna stared at the blackness, fearing its cold grip on her. She could not make out anything in the pitch, not her own body, not moving shapes, nothing. The cold clawed at her heart, and the agony of being torn to shreds by invisible forces ripped through her body. There was no defense. All she could do was scream.  
  
Setsuna sat bolt upright, screaming. It was... a dream... No. A nightmare. Setsuna rubbed her head. She glanced around her room within the mists of Pluto. Nothing but an evil dream...   
  
With a jolt she remembered the Red Priest. Everything that had taken place only the day before. Her ordeal at the hands of that foul and evil being, bent solely apon the destruction of the Time Stream and the end of Crystal Tokyo. HE MUST BE DESTROYED!!!!!  
  
Setsuna summoned her Garnet Rod to her side. That bastard had the audacity to waltz on into her realm, challenge her, then incapacitate her, and THEN jam her into her room, possibly while taking advantage of her? She shuddered at the thought. No, it was impossible to remove a Senshi's uniform without casting the proper spell. However, she was dressed as she had been before... Perhaps he knew both the casting and uncasting spells for the uniforms? That would be a definitely bad thing. He would be able to strip the Senshi of their power and dignity within seconds, thus winning any battle with them in moments. Any being with that kind of power had to be evil. There was just no way around it.  
  
She marched out of her rooms and into the mists outside of them. She marched as an executioner would go to the execution of her worst enemy. She wanted him DEAD!!! GRAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!  
  
She continued in this vein of thought before thoroughly faceplanting into the nonexistent ground in front of the Gates of Time. Just in front of the Gates of Time sat Rezo the Red Priest, dressed in loose-fitting khaki pants and a white shirt, sitting on a large sofa, drinking beer, eating potato chips, and idly flicking a remote control at the Gates of Time, changing the image with every press of a button.  
  
Somehow, the image failed to register in her mind.  
  
" WAZZZAAAAAA!!!" Rezo said, spinning around suddenly to face her.  
  
Still, the image failed to register.  
  
" I must say, your world has some damn interesting culture."  
  
Still, blank.  
  
"If I didn't look in on your past, I would think there was something wrong about the fact that you're wearing pink bunny slippers and look hung over."  
  
This snapped Sailor Pluto out of her reverie. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE DOING YOU FREAKING MORON!!!"  
  
"Down kitty, I mean you no harm."  
  
"'DOWN KITTY'!?!?!?! WHATTHEFUCKINGHELLDOYOUFUCKING MEAN DOWN KITTY!!!!!!"  
  
"I mean, in my time here, I have done no harm to your little world besides liberating the items you see before you from unseemly fires and such." Rezo waved a hand at the sofa and his clothing. "Took a hell of a time to find stuff that fit. Haha!!! 'Stuff.' What an interesting word. I don't think I know any equivalent to the American word 'Stuff.' Its like a conversation in one word! 'Hey Rezo, what are you doing?' 'Stuff.'"  
  
Setsuna took two deep breaths and whispered out with them "Dead Scream."  
  
The Hissy-Fit Purple Fireball (TM) blasted out of the end of her rod, blasting in toward Rezo's Face. Rezo casualy deflected it with the wave of a hand. "Sweetie, I think you need to stop doing that. Whenever someone throws a fireball around your T.V. here you get bad reception." He indicated the Gates of Time during his statement.  
  
Setsuna was getting pissed. FINE!!! NO MORE PLAY TIME!!!  
  
"DARK DOME ENCLOSE!!!"  
  
"Dark what the what? Setsu-chan, I disabled all of your other spells. Now you can only throw that marginally useful ball of.... whatever it is. Hey cool, Cowboy Bebop is on!!!" Rezo leaned in close toward the Gates of Time. "I love this show. Hey come on, sit down." He patted the bit of sofa next to him.  
  
Setsuna, seeing no other pertinent and non-suicidal action, sat down on the sofa, and attempted to relax and think out what the hell she was going to do with this crazy fool. It was true that he didn't change the Timestream, she could see that in the picture in picture in the lower left part of the screen. Nothing he was doing was truly destructive to her or the Sailors, that was certain. Using the Gates as a television was nothing special, in fact it had been one of her favored activities during the long wait for her Queen to show up.  
  
"Ya know Setsu-chan, you really ought to be less uptight about your visitors. I mean, come on. Its not like you get to meet anyone anyway. You just close yourself off up here in your... wherever this is, doing nothing but sitting around all day watching Spanish soap operas about a man named Juan who has dos mujeres and is screwing them both while you idly sit by and wonder as to why you cant get out and have more fun. Well I say; Live life to its fullest and every second will come with its own enjoyment. You need to take a vacation. You need to get out into that wide blue world and scream out to the masses I AM MEIOU SETSUNA!!! I WILL HAVE FUN!!! If you don't do that, well at least start with small things. Like your hair. You have freaking gorgeous hair. But you always wear white along with it. Try a different color, girl, its a whole new millennium out there. I can think of a way in which you and me can go on a productive vacation for a bit too. Tell ya what; We take a little waltz out into this world of yours for a bit, tell the Sailor whatevers that your going on vacation for a bit, and then search through the world for useful things. Then we hop back up here, and search around through all of time for useful magic and whatnot. I guarantee it'll be fun." Rezo said this last bit with his best grin, calculated perfectly to entice women into his arms.  
  
Thankfully, Setsuna had long since gotten engrossed in Cowboy Bebop and was silently shaking with laughter every time Jet said something funny while he was under the influence of Magical Mushrooms. Otherwise, she would have laughed, slapped Rezo in the face and kicked him out. However, with the influence of the general merriment of the Bebop, she actually considered joining him on his quest to cure his eyes. Not that it was important or anything. Just that she wanted to get out and have some fun and listen to her inner child, that damn nagging bastard inside her who wanted ice cream and chocolate and to run around screaming about the flowers in her hair and the diamond tiara with the HUGE freaking DIAMONDS in it that this SAVIOR had GIVEN her for FREE. Naturally, when considering women and their mental state, it is always best to remember that no matter who they are or what they do, they want their savior to come with huge diamonds which are given for free to them and then to live happily ever after in some castle in Narnia or whatever. It does not have to be in that order however. And besides, five out of six is damn good enough to entice anyone into trying.  
  
"...Sure..." Setsuna said in a mellow, dream-like voice.  
  
Did I do something? Thought Rezo in his head. I didn't use magic or anything... Oh well... I guess she just has no idea how to concentrate on people after spending so damn long in this place... better for me I guess... 


End file.

Slayers, Adventure, Humor