Slayers 1. Xellos Sets The Stage

Synopsis: Xellos decides to play a trick on Lina, Gourry and Zelgadis on April Fool's Day. What will Lina and Zel do when they find themselves in a strange position and have no clue how they got there.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Slayers. Sorry.

How In Chaos Did I End Up Here?

Part One: Xellos Sets The Stage

It was a little after midnight and the only person still awake was Lina Inverse. Gourry and Zel were fast asleep in their comfy bedrolls. Lina envied them and wished one of them had the midnight watch, not her.

Unfortunately, she still had three hours or so until she woke Zelgadis for the last watch of the night. Lina knew that Zel preferred it since he was always the first to rise. If he didn't have an entire pot of coffee before the others woke up, Zel wouldn't be able to withstand the other's company.

The full moon shone over their campsite and illuminated the two men's sleeping forms. Amelia had been called back to Saillune by her father for some important matter.

Lina was more than a little drunk from the wine she and the others had consumed with their food rations. There was no other way to soften the hard tack without soaking it in water or wine. The water had to be conserved because they'd have to cross part of the desert tomorrow so the travelers did the best they could.

Zel only had a glass but Lina and Gourry guzzled the wine with gusto. Gourry passed out soon after, much to Lina's disgust. Who heard of a mercenary that couldn't hold his liquor? None that aren't laughed at behind their backs, she knew.

Lina's mind was fuzzy and she was feeling sleepy. Her eyes closed but then she jerked up with a start and tried to keep herself awake. She managed to stay awake for a while but eventually lost the battle and her eyes stayed shut. A tiny snore came from her mouth as she fell into a deeper sleep.

Not long after that, a familiar mazoku phased into the clearing. He had come to make trouble, of course, but this was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He arranged the group as he liked, leaving Zel alone since he would most likely be the one to wake up if moved.

"Oh, this is too amusing." Xellos paused and admired his work. He grinned that insane, happy grin. "Enjoy your April Fool's Day, my little humans."


	2. Rude Awakening

What happened to Gourry won't be revealed till the next chapter. Care to guess what horrible thing Xellos did to the poor dumb blonde?

How In Chaos Did I End Up Here?

Part Two: Rude Awakening

The sun in her eyes was what woke Lina in the morning. She had a headache that seemed to pound in time to her heart beat. She opened her eyes for a second then snapped them closed quickly as the light seemed to stab at them. Her headache worsened and she groaned.

She tried to roll over but couldn't. Her bedroll seemed to be smaller than usual. With a frown, she opened her eyes a crack to see what was wrong. Her eyes adjusted and she was able to make out what the trouble was.

Her eyes opened wide with shock and she screamed then winced as the noise made her head pound harder.

Zel sat upright as Lina screamed. That scream was close by and he turned to the left. He saw Lina and and he blushed. Lina jumped up from the bedroll they had apparently been sharing and stumbled away.

Lina screamed angrily, "What in the name of Chaos did you do to me?"

"What the hell?" Zel finally shouted.

Lina winced then glared. "You tell me. I can't remember anything from last night. Did you take advantage of my innocent self?"

"No!" Zel said impatiently. "You apparently decided to do that on your own."

"Ooooh." Lina was bright red and spitting mad. "Fireball!"

Lina's hair was hanging in her eyes, distracting her so that her aim was off. Her fireball fizzled off into the distance without harming anything but a scraggly old bush. She glared at the burning bush then turned away. She turned to a still sleeping Gourry and took her frustrations out on him.

When shewas finished with him, Gourry was a pitiful ball of moaning misery on the ground. His eyes were giant swirls of confusion as he saw Lina standing over him with the one good eye that hadn't swollen shut. "Sorry... Lina... for whatever... I did..."

"Where's my headband at?" She grumbled, feeling a little better after beating up on Gourry. She decided just to forget about flaming Zel.

Zel had a weird expression on his face as he opened his hand and offered her the black band. Lina took it with another blush and a awkward nod. Zel was even more uncomfortable than she was but coughed it off and started boiling water for his coffee.

Lina excused herself and went off to think.

Great, she thought. I get drunk then climb into bed with Zel. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously, I wasn't because of the booze. I'm never going to get drunk ever again.

Her cheeks turned the same color as her hair. She had not only woke to find herself in a compromising position, but her unconscious self had seemed to be enjoying it. Much as she would like to place the blame on Zel, she had woke to find herself snuggled up to chimera, not the other way around.

Lina was mortified. She didn't know how she was going to face her companions again. It was bad enough that the world (minus the few that knew her personally) thought of her as a scary little girl with a very short fuse. If this got out, they could add the word 'easy' to the description as well.

Lina took a breath and drew herself up proudly. As much as she wanted to hide for the rest of her life, she wouldn't do that. By nature, Lina Inverse was not a quitter. She'd get up, do the right thing and apologize to Zel for doing something improper. In just a few more minutes.

Lina bent her head and shed a few tears for the self respect she had lost.

Zel watched as Lina hurried away from himself and Gourry. She disappeared out of sight and he sighed wearily. Waking up to see Lina sharing his blankets had been the biggest shock of his life. He never expected any woman to be that close to him while he was stuck in this cursed form. He had never noticed before how pretty Lina was-

Zel cut off that thought in horror. Lina... pretty? He slapped himself. "I need to cut it out with the alcohol."

Eventually he admitted to himself that Lina was cute. He took his first sip of coffee for the day and pondered Lina herself. She wasn't the self centered person she seemed. Sometimes the caring side of her personality surfaced but she was quick to laugh it off and explain it away with a self serving motive.But those that knew Lina well knew the truth. Underneath the shallow mask of selfishness and greed lay a big heart.

Zel closed himself off from further musing. He concentrated on drinking his coffee. The pot was almost empty and the time was almost an hour later when Lina returned. She seemed normal until she came close enough and Zel saw her red eyes.

Damn, she's been crying. He thought guiltily then wondered why he should feel guilty. He reminded himself that he didn't do anything.

"I'm sorry." Lina began as she knelt across the fire from him. "I put you in a terrible position."

Zel cleared his throat then said as kindly as he could, "You weren't thinking clearly, Lina."

"I don't think I'll ever touch a drop of wine again." Lina said fervently. "Can we not mention the subject again?"

Zel sighed. "I won't bring it up again unless something happens."

"Thank you." Lina gave him a wobbly smile.

Zel flushed a bit. "Uh, Lina?"

"Yeah, Zel?" She stood and he squinted against the sun to see her shadowed face.

Zel stammered a little but rushed out a comment. "Any guy would be lucky to be your sweetheart, Lina. I just thought you should know that." Zel turned brick red and looked away.

Lina was taken aback but said, "Thank you."

Lina watched Zel walk away to patch up a badly hurt Gourry. Lina frowned a little as she wondered if she had suddenly been shifted into another dimension without noticing.


	3. In The Doghouse

How In Chaos Did I End Up Here?

Part Three: In The Dog House

Gourry was almost as good as new in a short time. Luckily for him, Lina hadn't noticed he was almost naked under his bedroll. Zel got to see more of Gourry than he ever wanted to that morning.

At least Zel managed to get a puzzled Gourry to agree to sleep with more clothing on from now on.

Zel waited impatiently as Gourry rifled through his bag for clothes. Lina had made herself scarce by excusing herself to go fill their canteens at a brooke some distance away. So that left Zel adding to his coffee buzz and Gourry searching through his bag.

"Uh, Zel?" Gourry finally looked up.

Zel said quietly, "What is it?"

"I can't find any clothes in my bag." Gourry told him in concern.

Great, he forgot them. Zel thought with a silent sigh of disgust. "Then just wear the ones from yesterday."

"I can't." Gourry scrunched up his nose. "They were here last night but now they're gone."

Zel put down his coffee and held out his arm for the bag. "Let me look."

Gourry was happy to hand it over. Zel looked and even dumped everything out to see what items it contained. At the very bottom of Gourry's bag was a pile of fabric. Zel smiled and dumped it out too.

"Well here's something." Zel thrust the clothing into Gourry's hands. "For the love of Cephied, will you please put that on-" Zel broke off and prayed, "Oh merciful L-sama."

Gourry had rolled out the clothes and held them up to his body. A shocked Zel had broken off when he saw it was a costume. A dog costume, to be precise. He looked at Gourry with an entirely new perspective.

Gourry must have noticed the look. "It's not mine. I've never seen it before."

Sure... Zel thought.

But then Zel realized that the costume had to be planted. Lina had traveled with him for three years and had obviously never seen it before. Lina wouldn't be able to keep such a thing secret, especially when she got angry at Gourry. Which happened at least once a day. Zel gladly let go of the thought of Gourry as a closet furry lover.

"My clothes are too short for you." Zel said, "So you're going to have to wear it."

"No!" Gourry wailed. "I'd rather be naked!"

Zel paused to get that disturbing image out of his head then said dryly. "I suggest you put that... thing... on before Lina comes back. Otherwise, you'll wish you were already dead."

Gourry paled then sighed and started dressing.

Lina came back twenty minutes later with full canteens. She entered the clearing to see Zel doing his normal morning routine. She saw a furry animal sitting despondently by the fire. The animal turned and Lina saw Gourry's face inside the muzzle of a dog costume. Lina dropped the canteens.

There was a few moments of utter silence between the three traveling companions. Lina's face simply looked shocked as she stared at Gourry. Gourry looked miserable and hot inside the furry prison of his new 'look'. Zel simply watched the other two with an unreadable expression.

The two men flinched as Lina let out a wild peal of laughter. Gourry looked even more miserable and Lina laughed even harder. Zel just banked the fire then dumped dirt on it to put it out.

"Lina, that's enough." Zel said finally. "Gourry has enough to deal with right now."

"One question." Lina gasped out while wiping tears from her eyes.

Gourry's face sank farther back into the shadows of the muzzle in response.

"Why didn't you simply cut the costume with your sword, Gourry?" Lina asked when her laughter died down to occasional chuckles.

Both men face faulted. Gourry started cursing. Lina fled as Gourry ripped the dog head off then threw it to the side.

"You're in the dog house now, Zel." Lina called over her shoulder while her laughter floated behind her.


End file.

Slayers, Adventure, Romance