Criminal Minds Morgan’s Undomesticated Goddess

A/n: What can I say was felling rather silly and giddy.. (See below!)

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Penelope Garcia- Morgan drummed her orange colored fingernails on arm of the couch and glanced at the clock. 3:45 she blew her hair off her face with a frustrated sigh. Morgan had promised when he left this morning that the briefing was only going to be an hour or two at the most. But hello it's been three freakin hours and she near the point of hysteria. 

See, Penelope Morgan had a problem she had a craving. Not just any craving one of those _pregnancy cravings_ that you hear horror stories about, you know the ones the just seem to grab a hold of you and wont let you go ,the can't sleep, can't do anything until but think about that it until you satisfy the carving. Well Penelope had one right about now and it was driving her _**bonkers.**_ She could not get her mind off it. She could practically smell the aroma and it was making her mouth water, with its smell and its delicious melt in your mouth cheesy flavor.

She groaned and flopped back on the couch, rubbing her overly large stomach and crossing her arms over her ample chest a slight pout on her face.

The problem wasn't the craving or maybe it was Penelope shrugged she was getting sidetracked - it was just like one of those what came first the chicken or the egg questions , almost impossible to answer. Anyway, what was she saying? Oh yeah, the problem wasn't the craving it was the fact that she couldn't cook to save her life.

That's right Penelope Morgan: gorgeous tech kitten really couldn't cook to save her life. It was amazing that she managed to feed herself all this years, but as she told Derek it was probably thanks to that amazing talent she had called ordering out. See, she was the type of person who was banned from the kitchen at all times. She was just a cooking disaster, she could set boiling pots of water aflame , with big flames that it could say mange to burn down the whole home-ec wing of the high school.

**_Hypothetically of course!_** Because she never did anything as embarrassing as that, ahem, anyway, there laid Penelope's problem. To cook or not to cook.

She could call someone but really how embarrassing was that, and to be honest who was going to come over and make a thirty six year old eccentric woman who looked great in maternity wear by the way a bowl of Mac and Cheese. She sighed her only hope was her husband would be home soon and that her patience could hold out a little while longer.

She almost giggled, who was she kidding patience was a virtue alright but it wasn't one of hers. She was hungry, she wanted her Mac, and Cheese now damn it!

With glee, she searched the kitchen cabinets she could have sworn Derek bought her some Easy Mac last week.

She rubbed her hands together after ten minutes of searching her eyes landed on the prize.

"Well Clooney here we go." She said grinning at the dog currently curled up on the kitchen floor. She frowned as he whimpered and took off for the safety of the bedroom. After a moment she brushed her hair out of her face and shrugged.

No matter, she still had to do was figure out how to use the microwave without you know breaking it and causing it to spontaneously combust –Garcia style.

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Derek Morgan glanced at his watch and winced, he told Penelope this briefing would last only an hour or two. .. It _was not_ his fault though; time just seemed to fly away from him. but _really now _how much trouble could Penelope _possibly_ get into if he left her to her own devices for just an hour longer. 

Just than a fire truck passed by its lights a blazing and heading towards the highway. **Oh God !** Derek's whole face seemed to drain of color, just what in Lucifer's name was he thinking leaving Penelope alone ?

"Derek?" Reid asked eyeing his friend in concern as he poked his best friend who right about now looked close to having heart failure. Though he had to admit Derek's pale face and bulging face looked rather comical. "What's up?"

"I left Penelope alone." Derek muttered swiping the sheen of sweat off his brow. Reid frowned in confusion, just what was wrong with that. He blanched as the penny dropped and Reid simultaneously remembered the home-ec incident and the fact that she was seven months pregnant with what Derek called "wickedly horrible/gross cravings."

"I think you should-"He started but Derek caught him off with a strangled "yeah" and ran out of the meeting room as fast as his muscular legs could carry him.

Reid eyebrows shot up to his hairline as everyone turned to look at Derek's retreating back and than at him in confusion.

"He left a pregnant and very cooking disabled Garcia at home." Reid answered grinning as JJ flinched. Apparently, she knew about Penelope's cooking impediment too.

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Derek practically ran down the hallway to his apartment, sure the fire trucks were not surrounding the building but that didn't mean anything. 

"Penelope." He shouted practically throwing the door off the hinges as he hastliy entered the apartment. His stomach twisted as the smell of smoke filled his senses.

He skidded toward the kitchen nearly keeling over from what he saw there. Chaos did not even begin to describe the scene in from of him that could only be possibly be caused by Garcia.

What looked like dozens of melted circular things littered the floor and gave off a horrible burnt odor. In the sink, there looked to be even more of the unnaturally black and melted circular plastic things, and what looked like clumped and charred noodles bunched together in sink.

Moreover, in the middle of the kitchen stood Penelope. She looked as chaotic as the kitchen, her blonde hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head, the flyways were standing on edge as if she was standing by a gigantic magnet. There was some kind of orange powder all over her blue shirt and white skirt. She was a mess but she never looked more adorable.

He smiled at the sight while sighing with relief once he noticed that nothing was on fire and that Penelope was just fine –just a little kitchen weary.

Derek snapped back to reality as his eyes caught the microwave that was currently giving off hazardous to your health sparks and making a low rumbling noise. He yelped as it gave another low rumbling noise and started to smoke. He ran into the kitchen nearly falling flat on his ass as he tripped over a melted circular thing.

He pulled the completely unaware Penelope out of harms way as the microwave gave one last low rumble before combusting into flames. With the shake of his head and grumbled curse he shot forward and started smacking the flames with a semi burnt dishtowel and dousing the poor microwave with the salt container that was left on the counter.

'How do you blow up a microwave?' He wondered as he thorw the dishtowel in the sink and ran some ice cold water over it nearly choking the horrible smell that was coming from the sink. He didn't realize he'd spoken out loud until she answered him.

"Well you start by forgetting where you put the can of cooking spray."

Derek looked at her in disbelief and then looked at the destroyed kitchen and then back to her. He began to panic as her lower lip trembled and she looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"I … she began, sucking in a breath her voice quivering. " I just wanted Mac and Cheese."

Derek blinked all this mess over some Easy Mac, he snapped back to reality as he heard her draw in another shaky breath and her tears filled with tears. Damn hormones.

"Hey don't worry about, we can take care of it later" He assured as he walked over to her kissing her on the forehead before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and leading her towards the door.

"Come on, I'll take you to that diner across the street all the Easy Mac the two off you can eat." He said laughing slightly as she smiled up at him all tears forgotten.

He would deal with the kitchen and probably the fire department later. Right now, he had to get his undomesticated goddess some Mac and Cheese

Though he did make a note to never leave a pregnant Penelope home alone. Ever!

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Yupp that's it, horrible ending I know but I was in a silly mood and it's a long car drive. (I'm going skiing for my birthday… Its tomorrow! I'm excited!!) and I had way too many skittles and was in a fluffy mood. !! 

**_Anyway I hope you liked it !!_**

**_Thanks for reading, hope you review_**

**_D._**


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Criminal Minds, Humor, Romance