Fullmetal Alchemist Warning: Portals Take You To Amerstris

**ALL RIGHTS GO TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS! I OWN NOTHING! IF I DID ALOT OF THINGS WOULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT, K? K!**

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Okay, when I say it was not my fault, I mean it was 100% not my fault. Well, maybe more of 75%, never can be too careful (wink wink). Anyways, all the 'innocent" me did was walk into the alleyway, its not like I planned it out or like I actually wanted to come _here_. Things happen, well, I guess? I-I'm gonna sit down for a second. Enjoy this lovely flashback while I try to keep my lunch down.

_My best friend Lyssia and I were walking home from school. It was Friday, so I was having Lys over for dinner. The walk from school to my house was about a good twenty to thirty minutes and the 'oh so brilliant' me decided to take a shortcut. The whole time Lys was sending me death glares and blew her black bangs from her face. Her stomping feet also gave away to her 'inward' anger. _

_"We're lost, aren't we." She sighed out in anger. Her favorite combat boots splashed as she slammed her foot down in the puddle. "Great! Just great! Leave it to the shor-" I threw a small pebble at her forehead causing her to stop mid-sentence. _

_"Oh hush, drama queen...and NO we aren't lost . We are simply looking for an exit and it's hiding from us." I tried reassuring her, but she slapped her forehead._

_"Yep. We're lost." Lys trudged over to where I was standing. I rolled my eyes at her and pulled out my phone. My brows knitted in confusion as I stared at my screen. It would show my wallpaper (aka: a picture of One Direction:D) then the screen would glitch with a pure white background every few seconds. Symbols would also flash across the screen as the white background disappeared. _

_"Lys, look." I pushed my towards her as she rolled her eyes. She grasped my phone._

_"I swear if its another picture of Harry St-. Whoa, what the heck is wrong with your phone?" I shrugged my shoulders as her eyebrows furrowed. She handed me my phone and I slid it into the pocket of my black skinny jeans. Blowing a piece of my brown hair out from my eyes, I started to walk down further in the alleyway and Lys followed behind me. We kept walking for a while, but stopped we came upon a split that lead four different ways._

_"Call the Winchesters." I chuckled out as Lys then proceeded to hit my arm repeatedly, saying "Now is not the time to be joking around!". Waving her off, I began to walk ahead._

_"Left or right?" I simply stated. Lys' eye popped open in surprise. She rubbed her head._

_"You can't be serious." She looked at my face and knew I was being completely serious. "Left?" I nodded and started to walk in the direction she directed. "Idiot that's right! I swear...How did you even past kindergarten?" Lys yelled as she ran to catch up with me._

_"Cheating." Even not looking back at her, I heard the slap of her hand hitting her forehead. As we walked a bright light started to emerge from the end of the alley. When I pointed towards it, Lys just shrugged it off and we both continued to walk. The weird thing was the alley was getting colder as we walked closer to the light and soon we could see our breath. Shivering, we both suddenly stopped as we reached the end of the alley. The light looked like a shining portal._

_"I don't know how to feel about this." Lys hit the back of my head and glared at me. I looked at the 'portal' thingy and grinned._

_"No. I know that face, Chris. You are not walk-" _

_"YOLOSWAG, MAN!" I yelled as I ran through. Behind me, I could hear Lys saying some pretty colorful words as she walked in after me._

Then the next thing I remember was waking up in, guess what, an alley! Lucky us! That concludes our lovely flashback and now back to the present time. Lys and I are currently regaining consciousness and trying to get back up on our feet.

"Was it a dream?" Lys grunted out getting up from the ground.

"I have no clue, man, but it looks as if we got no where with findng an exit." I said as I dusted off my sweater. Lys sighed as she also dusted off her leather jacket. Suddenly, there was a huge explosion behind us and we both dove to the ground. Everything was spinning and my ears were ringing. I tried to get up but stumbled, landing straight on my bottom.

"Oh my gosh, Chris. Look." Lys screamed pointing behind me. I grunted as I, once again, got up onto my feet. Turning around to where she was pointing, my mouth flew open. The dust made it unclear but I could three figures in the distance.

"Is that Scar... and the Elrics?" I pratically screamed as the dust cleared out more. Lys paled and slowly nodded. I must have looked like a fish with my mouth opening and closing rapidly. "How in the world did we get here. Did you put something in my lunch today?"Lys was to distracted by the fact that we were in Amestris to respond. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Now I don't know how to feel about this!" Lys croaked out. As Lys sat on the ground in utter confusion, I watched the fight. It was just like the anime with Scar destroying Al's armor and Ed's arm. Scar was talking to Ed, slowing stretching out his hand towards Ed. Biting my lip, I knew what was going to happen but part of me still wanted to help. I quickly turned to Lys and reached for my bag that fell off my shoulder in the explosion. Her eyes widened and opened her mouth as if she was about to say something.

"Don't ask questions and stay put." She looked at me in fear and I started running to the Elric's aid. My feet seemed to slam against the ground in huge echos, but Scar did not seem to notice. Rain started to pour, mimicking the emotions being felt to everyone. The blood in my veins felt like ice as I was directly behind Scar. Al's helmet faced me, just as he was about to say something I put my finger to my lips, quieting him. It seems everything started to move in slow motion as I thew my bag at Scar. It's contents spilled on the ground and Scar's attention was now directed towards me.

"Get up and run!" I yelled to Ed as I stumbled back to get away from Scar. Ed looked beyond shocked and did not move an inch.

"CHRIS!" I heard Lys yell. My eyes widened as I shifted my gaze to her voice. She was running over to us and I tried to motion for her to run back. Growling, I faced Scar again only to see him making his way towards me in a fast stride.

"Why me?" I said to Ed and then took off into a full sprint. As I was running, I realized something very crucial.

"oh mY GOSH DID I JUST TRY TO FIGHT SCAR. I TRIED TO FIGHT SCAR. I'M STUPID! I'M SO STUPID!" I sputtered out running like a complete manic. "LYSSIA WHY DID YOU LE-" A solid figure seemed to stop me mid-rant. Apparently, I had ran into the figure because I was on the ground. "Ow, what gives?!" I grumbled out rubbing my head.

"I should be asking the same..." The figure said. Looking up, my green eyes met with black ones. Roy Mustang was stand above with the most intrigued expression. He was about to speak, but my hand raising stopped him.

"No, oh **HECK **no. I don't need you, miniskirts. No, no more tall...well maybe not _tall_...anyways... butt-gorgeous men surroundi-" A gun shot was fired causing me to yelp. Roy's eye twitched as he looked over at Scar, holding the gun up.

"Scar, that's far enough." Roy spoke loudly getting Scar's attention. "That was close Full-" I hit Roy in the foot getting him to glared down at me. Turning my head elsewhere, I whistled innocently. Roy mumbled something beneath his breath.

"Colonel! He's.." Ed tried to say, but then glared down at the ground. Roy had a knowing look upon his face and began to speak.

"That man is suspected in the serial killings of state alchemists." Roy took a big breath and then proceed to speak. "-and judging from what I'm seeing, that suspicion just became fact. The murder at the Tucker estate was your doing? " Scar's hand clenched.

"God made the world perfect and alchemist ruin this world!" He then raised his fist. "Their sin is defacing God's creation and making things that are natural into unnatural things. I am God's instrument and I will deliver the judgment they deserve."

"Then why only state alchemist?" Roy questioned. My smile grew in to a gaint smirk and I moved out of the way. Riza looked over at me with her brows furrowed in confusion. Scar then said something that seemed to call Roy to a challenge. Roy ,with his well-known smirk adorned on his face, threw his gun to Riza. Riza tried to tell the Colonel something but he completely ignored her. Roy pulled his gloves down on his hands and began walking towards Scar.

"You challenge me, knowing that I am a state alchemist? You're an idiot!" Roy said with a raging tone. He raised his hands, fixing to snap his fingers. Riza realized that his gloves would not work in the rain, so she had to save the Colonel's bottom by tripping him. I began to howl in laughter at seeing the look on Roy's face. As he crashed to the ground, Riza shoot at Scar making him pull back. When she was finish shooting at him, Major Armstrong came out of no where. Roy, Riza, and I began watching Armstrong fight Scar.

"...so...Roy...how was your trip?" I asked out of the blue. Roy turned and gave me a glare. "Ah, rough travel?"

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**So that concludes the first chapter of my FMAB fanfiction ! HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! **


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Fullmetal Alchemist, Humor