StarCraft The More Outakes the Merrier!!

When reviewing, please enter which 'Scene' you like!!  
Also, if anybody wants to throw in some ideas, I'm happy  
To oblige them!!  
  
|||||The More Outakes, the Merrier!!|||||  
  
(Enter a Knight wearing black armor, and a Imp like creature from Doom)  
  
DarkPaladin- "I have received an E-mail from a person by the name of  
Wraith. It says:   
  
(STOP COPYING TOY STORY TWO! - Wraith)  
  
ahem! I may have got the firt of Tassadar's Tricks form TS II, but  
not all the others. So, in other words (pulls eyelid down and sticks  
out tongue) Nyah Nyah!!!!"  
  
(DarkPaladin bows, then leaves screen with Ike)  
  
||Scene 16: The GUI GOES FRENCH! ||  
  
((Note: This first scene is made ny a fellow writer, by the name of   
Wulf!!))  
  
On set of Char, (zerg homeworld) a zergling, Gui Montag, Jim Raynor,   
and Inf. Kerrigan sit around rehearsing lines.   
  
Gui: Ya know what... this flamethrower is too friggin heavy. I'm sick   
of toting it around like a school back pack.   
  
Jim: Then just take it off and quit your whinin'.  
  
Inf. Kerri: No kidding. Raynor and I are trying to have a nice   
conversation over here.  
  
Zergling: Ya... Makin' out while your at it.... *breaks out laughing*  
  
Gui: Dumb zerg. I swear, its little pieces of crap like you that make   
the zergling round-up fun. Burnin your fat arses with these flame   
throwers.   
  
Zergling: I'd like to see what you do when you get a jet of flame up   
your ass!  
  
Gui: Alright thats it you little shit. Lemme put this flamethrower down   
and...(Gui drops thrower off of his side and shoots off a jet of flame   
that toasts the zergling) AHHHHH SHIT!  
  
(Inf Kerrigan and Raynor stop making out just long enough to see Gui   
rip off one of the zergling's legs and take a bite.)   
  
Inf Kerri: WHAT THE F*** are you doing Gui?  
  
Gui: AWESOME! I always wondered if zergling legs tasted as good as Frog   
legs like back in France. AND THEY DO!!!!!  
  
(Raynor busts out laughing and falls backward out of his chair while   
Inf. Kerrigan walks up and rips the other leg off.)  
  
Inf Kerrigan: Does this make me a cannibal? Oh well, i dont give a   
zergs Chared ass....... Oh my god... I MADE A FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHA  
  
(Gui shakes off the stupid joke and continues eating his zergling leg.)  
  
||Scene 17: Coffee Break||  
  
(Scene takes place in lounge, Raynor, Tassadar, Inf. And Sarah Kerrigan are all   
sitting down at a table, drinking some coffee, except Tassadar, who's merely   
staring at it.)  
  
Raynor- "(after watching Tassadar) Tassadar..."  
  
Tassadar- "Yeah?"  
  
Raynor- "We've worked together for a while, and I keep having the same question   
running through my head. Just how do Protoss drink?"  
  
(Tassadar blinks at Raynor, then looks down at the cup. He sticks his finger in   
the coffee, and slowly the coffe diminishes)  
  
Raynor- "......oh..."  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "Cool!!"  
  
S. Kerrigan- "Y'know, I always thought that's how you do that."  
  
Tassadar- "That's nothing, you should see how we eat!!"  
  
(Everyone else sweatdrops)  
  
||Scene 18: I can read your thoughts, Raynor||  
  
*Take one*  
  
(Scene takes place at 'Revolution.' Raynor and SARAH Kerrigan are standing, facing one another, doing their lines.)  
  
S. Kerrigan- "Captain Raynor, I've finished scouting the area, and-you pig!"  
  
Raynor- "Whahhhh...I didn't say......say my line yet..."  
  
(S. Kerrigan sweatdrops)  
  
*Take two*  
  
S. Kerrigan- "Captain Raynor, I've finished scouting...heh heh heh..."  
  
Marine- "(raises eyebrow) What's your problem?"  
  
S. Kerrigan- "Heh heh, sorry, Raynor's giving me an odd look over   
here!!"  
  
*Take three*  
  
S. Kerrigan- "Captain Raynor, I've finished scouting the area, and-you pig!"  
  
Raynor- "Whahhhh...I didn't even say anything to you yet!!"  
  
S. Kerrigan- "Yeah but you were thinking it."  
  
Raynor- "(leans on bike) You know I am baby!!"  
  
(S. Kerrigan screams and runs off screen)  
  
Raynor- "(pouts) Infested Kerrigan says I'm pretty good too..."  
  
||Scene 19: Damn gun won't go off!!||  
  
((((An idea that Wulf gave to me)))  
  
(Scene takes place at ending video of Brood War, Dugalle is playing the record   
and giving out an e-mail to his wife (I think, I can't remember what he said   
though))  
  
Dugalle- "Please, take care of the children for me..."  
  
(swings his head back as he holds up the pistol. The screen goes black)  
  
*Click*  
  
Dugalle- "Wha..."  
  
*Click*  
  
Dugalle- "Damn it, gun won't start!!"  
  
(Screen lightens up again, Dugalle is shaking the gun)  
  
*Click* *Click* *Click*  
  
Dugalle- "GOD DAMN IT!!!!!"  
  
(Throws gun off screen)  
  
*SMACK* *BAM!!!*  
  
(scream in background)  
  
Dugalle- "(goes Wide-eyed) I-I-I'm going to look for Alexi now!!  
  
(Dugalle runs off)  
  
||Scene 20: When zerg 'love'|| (this is the sickest one. I PROMISE)  
  
(Scene takes place just after finishing the Mission: Dark Templar. Inf.   
Kerrigan, Raynor, and Tassadar are standing around talking.)  
  
Tassadar- "(weary) So you have no hard feelings for some of the pranks?"  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "(gives him evil grin) No, why do you ask that?"  
  
Tassadar- "Because your giving me an evil glance everytime I look at you."  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "Na, I'm not angry, in fact, I'm willing to forgive you, as long   
as you meet a friend of mine..."  
  
(Background shows Raynor waving 'no' to Tassadar)  
  
Tassadar- "(blinks) Ummmmmm...Okay"  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "(smiling) Okay, Lula! Meet Tassadar"  
  
(As Inf. Kerrigan finishes, out pops a Zergling with long blonde hair tied up in   
ponytails, wearing a green and white cheerleading outfit, smiles and looks at   
Inf. Kerrigan, then turns around and squeals as it spots Tassadar)  
  
Zergling- "OH OH OH!!! YOU'RE MY HERO!!! (jumps into Tassadar's arms) PLEASE,   
BEAR MY CHILDREN. MAKE SOME HOT LOVIN' TO ME BIG BOY!!"  
  
(Zergling jumps onto Tassadar's face and starts humping it. Tassadar screams as   
he runs off screen. You see Raynor with blue cheeks as he looks over at the   
screaming Tassadar)  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "Too bad Lula is a male..."  
  
Raynor- "(turning even more blue) Remind me never to piss you off like that   
again..."  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "I wouldn't do that to you. You I can handle! ^_^"  
  
Raynor- "Great..."  
  
(((I apologise for this incideous scene, but I had to have Inf. Kerrigan get   
Tassadar back, in a very horrible manner)))  
  
||Scene 21: Ultralisk breaks down||  
  
(Scene is in 'The Invasion of Aiur.' A massive group of Hydralisks   
are chattering in their own native language. A group of Ultralisks enter  
the scene growling and roaring in their language.)  
  
Overlord- "The Cerebrate wishes for you to protect the Khaydarian   
Crystal while it defends the Hive...."  
  
(The Zerg nod as the Overlord, then they get into position to defend   
the Crystal prop. Sadly, one of the Ultralisks turns around and smacks   
itself right into the crystal)  
  
Ultralisk- "(Falling to knees and a river of tears popping out of eyes)   
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Director- "Uh-oh..."  
  
Tech Crew- "(o.s) Oh man...."  
  
(Suddenly a Queen and a Zergling with a gray mustache enter the screen)  
  
Queen- "(Hugging the Ultralisk) What's wrong hun?"  
  
Ultralisk- "The Cwistal went out and jumped me!!!! WAAAAA!!!!"  
  
Queen- "Don't worry, my son, the big bad Crystal won't hurt you   
anymore..."  
  
Zergling- "(growling) THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY INJURIES ON HIM OR I'LL   
SUE YOU ALL!!!!"  
  
Director- "Are you his lawyer by any chance?"  
  
Zergling- "No, I'm his father!!"  
  
(Everyone else in the room sweatdrops)  
  
||Scene 23: Broken Record||  
  
(Scene takes place on Shakuras. Approximately 231 Protoss Zealots are   
travelling around by foot)  
  
((Note to the *Author* Tassadar: If you read this, the answer is YES, we did   
have some poor deluded fool counting every single Protoss Zealot in the entire   
area. Aren't we evil!?))  
  
(One of the Protoss songs continues to play as the Protoss continue to move on.   
Suddenly, the music starts to skip, then back track. ALL 231 protoss turn and   
look at the camera wierdly. Camera pans off stage to show the music box. One   
of the Tech Crew walks up to it and smacks the box. The music starts to play   
again.)  
  
Tech Crew- "Sorry, this machine is busted again."  
  
(Camera pans back to all the Zealots, who all have sweatdrops on there head.)  
  
||Scene 24: When Aliens meet the Zerg (Or Tassadar's Tricks#5)||  
  
(Scene takes place after the filming of 'True Colors.' Raynor, Kerrigan, and   
Tassadar *the current director now* are standing around in the set of a Command   
Center, drinking their assorted drinks.)  
  
Tassadar- "So, what are you two planning on doing tonight, besides the obvious?"  
  
(Raynor and Kerrigan blush)  
  
Raynor- "Tassadar, you know us well enough that we really don't do that very often."  
  
Tassadar- "Oh, I know, you two are more of the 'making out' kind of couple.   
Well, anyways, I'm just wondering if you guys wouldn't want to tag along with me   
and my new girlfriend out to a movie?"  
  
Raynor- "(raises eyebrow) When did you get a new girlfriend?"  
  
Tassadar- "Just met at a 'StarTrek' Convention, found out that she was going to   
heckle William Shatner as well. Our relationship had grown since then."  
  
Raynor- "Oh, that's cool!"  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "(looks at Raynor) Sure, we'll go, what movie are you going to   
watch?"  
  
Tassadar- "(Walks towards a door) Why, Aliens, it's going back to theater for a while...(opens door to find an Alien standing there) WAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
(Aliens pushes Tassadar aside and runs right at Inf. Kerrigan. Inf. Kerrigan   
screams and blacked out. When she came to she found Raynor by her side and   
Tassadar and the Alien laughing. Inf. Kerrigan couldn't help but notice that   
the Alien had smoother skin then the movie version, and had a more of a 'chest')  
  
Tassadar- "(holding the Alien's hand) Raynor, Kerrigan, I'd like you to meet   
Sophia, my date."  
  
Inf. Kerrigan- "(turning red) DAMN YOU TASSADAR!!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
*HOPE YOU KEEP THESE GOING PEOPLE!! I'M ALSO CREATING A STORY WHERE THE GANG   
IS RUNNING AROUND OFF STAGE!! IF YOU WANT IT TO HAVE ANYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE   
IT NC-17, CONTACT ME THROUGH ANY MEANS NECESSARY. IF NOT, THEN I WILL MAKE IT   
TO IT WOULD BE AT MOST R. THANK YOU!  



End file.

StarCraft, Humor