Kingdom Hearts Queen of Spoons

Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

The tears just came back again. I tensed, cupped my hands together under the running water. Splashed it all over my face, which only made me really, really cold. I shivered, but at least the tears were retreating.

Beside me, on the sink, my phone vibrated. I ignored it, knowing exactly who it was from and what it would say and I'd only give the same response I'd been giving for the past five or so weeks. I looked up at the mirror, seeing big blue eyes blink back at me. Alright, so my face was a little red, but hopefully that'd be gone by the time I got to the cafeteria. With a sigh, I tilted my head and tried to tame my hair into staying over my shoulder.

I was in desperate need of a shower. Last night, from that nightmare, I had sweat insanely, and my blonde hair was so disgusting. I hadn't had time this morning to do much more than avoid my sister, Xion, who was in a tantrum-mood again, and eat a few measly crackers.

Sighing, I picked up my thermos from where I had left it by my feet, and checked my phone.

Yup, same message alright. It was actually kind of nice Axel was looking out for me, but this was way overboard.

_R u drowning urself in the bathroom?__ Hurry up! Everybody's waiting for u ;) _

Emphasis on the everybody. We both knew he was stressing that someone in particular was waiting for me, and if it weren't for my failed physical state, I'd punch them.

_Stfu, I'm on my way. -Nam._

Still grumbling, I walked out of the bathroom. Whichever genius had designed our high school decided not to put doors on the bathrooms, but a snail entrance instead. We weren't visible once we walked in far enough, but still!

I paid little attention to the groups that were littered around the hall, eating their lunch there. I knew people looked up as I walked on past, they always did, but they stayed silent, much to my relief. When walking around with Xion and Olette, or Kairi whenever she visited, people wolf-whistled, but at them. They pretended to ignore me, and since it kept everyone safe, I liked it that way.

Now came the difficult part. Walking past the same table everyday, you'd expect me to get used to it.

But I always held my breath, even now as I pushed open the caf doors and walked in meekly, half-hiding behind a pair of friends who were chatting about the upcoming dance. I'd rather shoot myself than go. I still remained scarred from previous festivities. Mentally, emotionally, _and _physically.

My lungs were burning as I tip-toed past them. Please don't look over. Please don't pretend you still care.

But they remained engaged in their chaotic conversation. Actually, it wasn't even a conversation. It was more a dispute, ongoing and violent at times.

For now, I was safe, and I power-walked to our usual spot by the windows.

"Nams! Get that fine ass over here faster!"

That was Riku, one of my closest friends. He's not very discreet, is he? It was alright though, because everyone knew he was just playing around. Before, he'd been a sort of man-whore, until he'd actually settled down for a few weeks -long time for him, by the way- with my twin sister, Xion. Then something had happened, they'd argued, broken up, and were now walking on thin ice, still single, but not talking.

As I got to my seat, my gaze flickered to Xion. She had that look on her face, that was like -please don't let this be serious, because your my little sis, and I don't want to hurt you but he's _mine- _and I shook my head in her direction and she relaxed before looking away.

"Hey," I told the rest of the group.

"Yo," Axel said, leaning back against the windows and looking badass. I smiled at him, who was the only one really bothering to return my greeting. He was more Xion's type of friend, the crazy, eating-junk-food-on-top-of-tall-buildings type, but we got along well because I usually fed him breakfast. Don't ask.

"Oh, you're finally here. Hey," _he _said behind me, one hand ruffling my hair before he kept moving and sat down on Hayner's other side. His name was Roxas, and for the five weeks that he'd been at our school, I'd gotten to know him just barely. He also starred in my nightmares every night, but he didn't need to know that.

"ROXIE!" Axel yelled, lunging across the table. It was running joke with us that they were gay together. I wish. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much about them.

Beside me, Olette snapped. "Quiet! Some of us have a math test next period, and we have to study!"

"Calm down, 'lette," Xion said quietly, looking down at her sandwich, only partially eaten.

Lunch passed as usual, with Olette trying to bring up Hayner's grades, Hayner more concerned with how to steal a kiss, Xion trying to ignore Riku, Riku trying to ignore Xion, Axel cracking love jokes with Roxas, Roxas watching me, and me, as per usual, not eating.

I guess everything first changed when we first met Roxas.

Part of me wishes he hadn't been around to save my life that day.

**THANKIES Allers3 for Beta-ing! 3. You're amazing you know that? I'm glad you like the mentions of AkuRoku. IT MUST BE THERE!**

**Yesh, so I'm re-doing that retarded crap I called "Queen of Spoons". Why? Well, Namine was brain-dead and Roxas was more there for eye-candy, no personality.**

**Let's see if I can get it right this time around! Thanks for everyone who reviewed and suffered through the original version, hope you'll like this more. A few changes in the plot. :D**

**TheMiSuNdErStAnDiNg.  
**


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Kingdom Hearts, Adventure, Romance