Slayers 1. Chapter 1

I own neither the characters from Slayers nor Fullmetal Alchemist. This story has been very briefly edited since its first post. Refer to the author's notes at the end for notes on both the Slayers world and the Fullmetal world, and the liberties I've taken with them and the characters from each.

Enjoy.

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_Shit._

That pretty much summed it up.

_Damn_.

That was a swell additional thought.

I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. Now, that doesn't often happen because I am quite a remarkable young lady, but right now I could just about kick myself in the pants. I needed to slap myself back to reality, but I didn't really think it would work. And I'd just end up with a red cheek.

Not only had I not been able to control my own spell, but it had somehow backfired on me and the gang and in a very peculiar manner. If done correctly, the spell should have obliterated our enemy in a flashy show of lights. And if done incorrectly, it should have obliterated _us _in a flashy show of lights. So why were we alive? And why did we find ourselves in territory so utterly unfamiliar? Surrounded by countryside lush with green, I could see a small town in the distance. It wasn't too far away, but even from this distance I could tell that I'd never been there before in my life. The architecture of the buildings were foreign and the trees and grass smelled different than back home. Ultimately, there was an unfamiliar feeling about the place, and I had a bad tugging in my stomach that told me we were far away from any land we'd ever even dreamed of.

"Miss Lina," Amelia spoke softly, her voice breaking the tense silence and causing all of us to jump just a little, "Where... where are we?"

I sighed, my breath blowing out in a steady stream that I could see in the air. It was cold, and my cloak just wasn't quite enough cover. As if reading my thoughts, I felt a warmth at my back. I couldn't help but smile.

"I wish I could answer that, Amelia," I replied, snuggling closer into Gourry's side, "But I don't recognize this place any better than you. Do you guys remember what happened?"

Amelia and Zelgadiss nodded, and Gourry put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Something went wrong with that spell you cast, and I remember a flash of bright light," Zel said, unconsciously moving closer to Amelia, "And then we were here. Was that a Chaos Spell, Lina?" His voice wasn't exactly accusatory, but I could tell that he disapproved.

"Yeah," I replied, "And it was actually one of the easier ones I've learned, too. I still don't understand what went wrong." I felt Gourry stiffen beside me, and I looked up into his worried eyes.

"You didn't tell me you were studying more Chaos Spells, Lina," he whispered, "Why?"

My heart crept up into my throat. I hadn't told him because I knew he'd worry over me, and that was the last thing I wanted. I should have known it would come back to bite me in the ass, but I never really do listen to my common sense. I was suddenly reminded of the time we fought Kanzeil, and how I hadn't told him about my returned powers. He had told me to consider his feelings. I guess I still wasn't very good at that.

"I'm sorry," I said, and hugged him to me, "I won't keep anything from you, I promise."

He hugged me back, and I could feel the relief flowing through his body as he relaxed against me.

"Geez," Zel was blushing when I looked up, "You guys have been married for almost a year now, stop acting like newlyweds."

I reluctantly pulled away from Gourry's embrace. "Anyway," I cleared my throat, "Even if the spell backfired, it shouldn't have transported us anywhere. Honestly, we should all be dead right now, so I think we should count our blessings."

Amelia nodded emphatically, "Wherever we are, we are destined to be here! We have been brought into this strange and exotic land in order to bring peace and justice!"

"I think you're getting a little carried away..."

"Um, hello?"

I jumped, surprised to hear an unfamiliar voice from so close. I saw Zel put a cautious hand against his sword, and I felt Gourry move just a little bit closer to me.

Standing beside a tree was a couple of yards away was a girl. She had long blond hair pulled up in a tight ponytail and was wearing a tube-top with overalls. She looked young, was probably in her teens, and seemed way too comfortable in the cold with that tiny outfit. Her face was uncertain but her eyes were friendly. She didn't even flinch when she glanced over Zelgadiss.

OK, then. Let's play the friendly card first. "Hi there!" I waved my hand emphatically, smiling big.

"Um..." she hesitated again, "I'm sorry, but... who are you? We don't get a lot of travelers here, and when we do they usually arrive by train."

"Oh," I thought hard for an explanation, "My name's Lina. These are my friends Zelgadiss and Amelia," I waved in their general direction, "And my husband Gourry. We.. uh... arrived quite a bit earlier today, actually. We were just exploring,"

"Yo," Gourry put a hand in the air.

"How do you do," Zel said stoically. He didn't exactly sound happy, but I saw him take his hand away from his sword.

"And what's your name?" Amelia asked, stepping forward and thrusting her hand outward, "I'm Amelia and I'm pleased to meet you!"

"Eh," the girl seemed taken aback by Amelia's enthusiasm, "My name's Winry. It's... a pleasure," she shook Amelia's hand.

"Listen," I wanted to get to the point, "We're kind of unfamiliar with this area. Is there anywhere that we could stay for the night?"

"Well, yeah, we have a hotel," she gestured toward the town, "And it's not too expensive."

My face fell. Oh, yeah. Money.

"Well, you see," Gourry interceded, "We actually spent all of our money on that train thing you mentioned before."

I elbowed Gourry in the side. Train _thing_? That doesn't sound suspicious.

"Oh," Winry looked thoughtful, seemingly ignoring Gourry's stupidity, "Well, you guys don't seem too bad. I'd have to ask Granny, but I'm sure you could stay with us for a couple of nights."

"That's so kind of you Miss Winry!" Amelia's eyes became huge and watery, "To take in strangers such as ourselves! And with.. such a strange traveling companion, as well!"

"Hey," Zel glared at Amelia, who just laughed and lunged for his side, taking hold of his arm. Zel blushed.

"Oh, that's no problem. I'm used to seeing strange things," Winry blushed, "That's not what I meant! I just meant... I've seen some different kinds of things before. It doesn't really bother me."

"Oh?" I was curious, but I was also anxious to get moving and explore this place, "Why don't you tell us about it at your place?"

"Oh, of course!" she turned toward the town, "Follow me, please!"

We walked in a companionable silence for a while, and I took the opportunity to pinch Gourry's cheek hard.

"Ow," he whispered, "What was that for?"

"Don't say something like train _thing_. It makes it sound like you don't know what the hell it is, which you don't."

"I know what a train is!" Gourry protested, "I train everyday! I don't usually have to spend money when I train... but maybe they have to hire someone to train them here?"

I was saved from attempting an answer when Winry asked, "So what exactly were you exploring out there? And in such funny costumes? We haven't had a faire in quite a while."

I could practically feel Zel fuming. I saw Amelia look down at herself, confused.

"Funny costumes?" she asked.

"Yes, well, those couldn't possibly be your everyday clothes..." she looked at us, and she blushed harder than before, "I'm sorry! I... I've just never seen clothing like that."

I shrugged, "I've been insulted worse."

"Anyway," she looked ahead, "Why on earth were you out in the countryside? There's nothing to explore there except for grass and sky."

"We've never been here before," I replied easily, "We just wanted to see what's around."

We were nearing the town, and I had a feeling that Winry wanted to probe us for more answers. I didn't really blame her... we were strangers and she was letting us into her home. She should be cautious.

But I couldn't allow her to find out too much until we had a handle on the situation, "Then why were you out there?" I asked, "If there's nothing to see."

"I didn't say that there's nothing to see," Winry replied, "There's just nothing to explore. I love going out there and just lying underneath the sky. It's calming."

We had reached a dirt path and I noticed a couple of kids running around near a fence.

"This seems like a peaceful place," Amelia commented.

"It is, for the most part," Winry turned her head and smiled, "But sometimes we get some old friends in town, and they cause some trouble."

"Trouble?" Zel asked.

"Oh, nothing serious," she laughed, tossing her hair to the side, "But you'll see. You'll get to meet them when we get to the house."

"Your home must be very large," Zel walked a little faster to reach Winry's side, "To accommodate so many guests."

"Not especially," the girl shrugged, "But we have room enough. Granny will be glad to have you."

We were approaching a two-story home. It wasn't especially large, like Winry had said, but they probably had an extra room or two that they could afford to spare.

"We're very lucky," Gourry spoke up from beside me, "To have run into you. Thank you for your hospitality."

"You're welcome," Winry opened the front door, "Granny! We have guests!"

A short, elderly woman appeared from around a corner, wiping her hands on an apron. "Welcome," she smiled, "Come in."

We followed Winry into a kitchen and were told to settle ourselves around a large table. I suddenly felt fatigue hit me like a battle-ax and leaned my head against Gourry's shoulder.

"You OK, Lina?" he asked, his hand combing through my hair.

"Just tired," I replied, sitting up again once our hosts returned with some cups of water.

"So," Pinako, as we were told to address her, began, "Why don't you tell me about yourselves. My granddaughter already told me that you arrived by train this morning. Funny, that no one would have seen you."

"Ah, yes, well," I laughed, "That is strange!"

"So where are you from?" Winry asked, leaning against her grandmother's chair.

I glanced at my companions. They all shrugged. Great, it was up to me.

"Pretty far away," I said cautiously, "I doubt you've heard of it." I added, "By the way... what is the name of this town?"

"Resembool," Winry said, frowning, "You didn't know?"

"Must have slipped our minds," Zelgadiss mumbled.

"And you," Pinako stared hard at Zel, "What are you?"

She gets right to the point, doesn't she.

Zel looked at me.

_Don't look at me! I don't know what to say?!_

"I'm..." he began, but Amelia interrupted him.

"He's in costume!" she shouted, smiling just a little too large, "We're all in costume!"

"But, I thought you said--" Winry stuttered.

"Yes, well, we seem to have lost all of our luggage," Amelia sounded genuinely embarrassed, "And we just came from a party where we had to wear these costumes! It's all very embarrassing."

So, truth and justice could lie through her teeth when she needed to.

Pinako looked at us, squinting. Finally, she let out a large sigh, "You all seem very tired. Why don't I show you to your rooms and we can all talk in the morning, eh?"

"That would be wonderful," I said, smiling, genuinely relieved.

"I'm sorry to split you two up," Winry glanced at Gourry and me, "But I'm afraid we only have two rooms available, and since Zelgadiss and Amelia aren't together..."

"It's fine," I said, smiling maliciously at Zel and Amelia's embarrassment, "We'll be OK separated for a night or two."

The four of us were led a room on the other side of the house, and Winry opened the door. "You guys can decide who will stay here."

I looked inside the room. There was a small vanity in the corner and a small cabinet pushed up against the opposite wall. A very large bed dominated the center of the room with a small desk next to it, sparsely furnished with a lamp, some paper and some writing utensils.

Ah. One bed. Winry didn't know if the guys would be comfortable sleeping together.

"We'll take this one," I said, walking into the room, "Thank you again for your hospitality."

"No problem!" she waved her hand at us, "Please, make yourselves comfortable!"

"Thank you," Amelia followed me inside and sat on the bed, "It's so soft!"

Winry smiled and then turned from the door. "I'll leave you to rest, and I'll show you two to your room."

I watched as Zel and Gourry followed the teenager from the room and felt an ache in my heart. Tonight was the first night in over a year that Gourry and I had not slept together.

"That's right," Amelia frowned at me, "It's almost your one-year anniversary, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "But it's OK. We can manage one night apart." I fell back against the bed, spreading my arms and legs out. "This really is soft!"

"Miss Lina," Amelia lay down beside me, looking up at the ceiling, "What are we going to do? We're... we're in a different world, aren't we?"

I nodded, realized she couldn't see me, and replied, "Yeah, we're in a different world. For now, let's just be grateful that we were found by such nice people. We'll figure something out in the morning."

"OK, Miss Lina," Amelia said and yawned. She turned over onto her side, and in a moment I heard her snoring.

It had been a long, tiring day, I realized. We deserved some rest. It took only a moment for me to follow Amelia into oblivion.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I wish I could say that it had all turned out to be a terrible dream when I woke up the next morning. However, I found myself lying in the same bed as the night before, Amelia snoring softly beside me. "Ugh," I whispered, "I need some air."

I crept from the room and closed the door softly behind me. It was early yet, and the house was quiet and still. I yawned and stretched, walking through the halls to where I remembered the kitchen to be.

"Good morning," Pinako greeted me and held out a steaming mug.

I was pleasantly surprised to smell the familiar aroma of coffee, and gladly took the offered mug.

"Thank you," I said and took a sip.

"You are quite welcome," Pinako sipped from her own cup, her face thoughtful.

We sat for a few minutes, neither one of us willing to break the peaceful silence that had settled around us. Finally, Pinako said, "Women as old as I am see a lot of things in our lives. Our perception is strong, and our intuition stronger. Why don't you tell me who you really are, Lina?"

I wasn't really surprised. I had felt that she had seen through my guise the moment we stepped into her home. "My name really is Lina," I replied, taking another sip of coffee, "Lina Inverse."

"I see," she didn't prompt me further.

"I'm from a place called Zefelia," I continued without her encouragement, "In a different world."

She nodded, and she hid her surprise well. "How did you come to be here?"

"I'm not exactly sure," I responded, placing my mug on the table and groaning, "In fact, I've been trying to figure that out since yesterday. You see, I was performing a spell, and--"

"Spell?" Now she really was confused. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened in a tiny "O."

"Um, yes," I said uneasily, "I'm a sorceress."

"Sorceress," she said, as though to herself, "Can such a thing exist?"

My eye twitched. _Of course it can! I'm sitting RIGHT HERE._

"You don't have magic here?" I asked instead.

"Well, no," she looked at me, "The closest thing to magic that we have is alchemy, but..."

"Alchemy is science."

I gasped, surprised, and turned to find an unfamiliar boy standing in the doorway.

"I've told you before that it's all scientific, Granny," he smiled at her and poured himself a cup of coffee.

He looked young, but he seemed to have a strong body beneath the suit and heavy coat. He had long blond hair that was tied back in a braid, and I thought for a moment that maybe he was Winry's younger brother. He wore black trousers and a black tunic, a long red coast hanging to his toes. He wore white gloves and a golden chain hung from his pocket, indicating a pocket watch. He smiled again as he sat beside Pinako.

"I said it's close," Pinako responded, "Not that it's actually magic."

The young man looked at me and, still smiling, said, "Everyone knows there's no such thing as magic."

_Ooh. Way to make a first impression, buddy._

"Maybe not here," I replied through gritted teeth, "But in my world..."

"Everyone knows there's no such thing as different worlds, either," he had stopped smiling now, and was looking at me with pure animosity.

_What the hell had I done to him?!_

"Now, listen," I said, attempting to control my anger, "I don't know who you are, but I am not a liar. There is magic, and I can prove it."

He leaned back and crossed him arms across his chest as though to say "_Be my guest."_

"Fine," I growled, and rolled back my sleeves, "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows..."

"Lina!"

Whoops.

"Err.. morning, Gourry!" I smiled and scratched the back of my head, "How'd ya sleep?"

Gourry entered through the same doorway as the little snot had and loomed over me, "Don't you think a Dragon Slave is just a little excessive?"

"He was calling me a liar!" I complained, pointing. I hadn't acted this childish in a while. This kid was getting to me.

And, of course, Gourry read my mind.

"Don't let the kid get to you," he said and sat down beside me, "It's OK if he doesn't believe you. He's probably only heard about magic through fairy-tales his mommy told him."

Heh heh heh.

"I'M NOT A KID!" he yelled, reacting worse than I had expected, "I'M A STATE ALCHEMIST AND YOU BETTER TREAT ME WITH SOME RESPECT, DAMN IT!"

"Now, Edward," Pinako admonished him, speaking up.

Actually, I knew how the kid felt. I remember exactly what it was like to be called "Little Miss No-Boobs" by Gourry. I felt my face heat from just the memory.

He was still fuming, his chair had fallen back in his outburst and he was standing with his hands flat against the table, his face red with embarrassment.

"What's a state alchemist?" I asked, attempting to change the subject.

"You're kidding me, right?" Edward picked his chair up, seemingly at ease once more, "The State Alchemists are the military for Amestris."

"Err, what does a mistress have to do with anthing?" Gourry asked from beside me, "Does her lover really get that jealous?"

My hands slipped from beneath my chin and my face fell flat on the table. So was Gourry's amazing ability to surprise and embarrass the hell out of me.

"Amestris," Pinako clarified calmly, "It is the country we live in, and you are currently residing in."

"You guys are really serious," Edward said, his voice awed, "You have no idea where you are."

"Listen," I growled, fed up with the kid's attitude, "It's rude to call us liars and idiots without having even introduced yourself."

"Oh," he actually blushed, "My name's Edward. Edward Elric."

"Nice to meet you!" Gourry smiled so large you couldn't see his eyes, "I'm Gourry!" he held out his hand.

Edward reluctantly took the offered hand.

Gourry's smile never diminished as he asked, "So, why are your left leg and right arm made of metal?"

Edward's eye's widened, and even Pinako seemed extremely surprised. Hell, I'd had a feeling something was off about the kid but I couldn't pinpoint it like Gourry could. "How did you know?"

"Your footsteps. When you step down with your left foot, it makes a heavier vibration in the wood," he never stopped smiling, "And, of course, when I just shook your hand. Even through the glove, someone experienced could tell that you don't have human flesh."

"We have something in common then," Zelgadiss stepped through the doorway, his sword still strapped to his side.

"What..." Edward's eyes were wide, "What the hell are you?"

Zel grimaced, "People in this world are certainly as blunt as in our own," he sat down on my other side. "I'm a chimera."

I was sure that a vein had ruptured in Edward's skull.

Meanwhile, Pinako seemed to be taking everything in stride.

"Hmm," she mused, "I've heard of chimeras. You aren't quite what I expected."

"I'm part human," Zel explained, stealing my cup of coffee and taking a sip, "Part golem, and part demon."

"But--" Edward was still attempting comprehension, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, "But--"

"I assure you, it's the truth," Zel explained calmly, "As long as we're going in that direction." He glanced at me.

Why was I always the one making the decisions?! "Yeah," my breath blew out in a heavy sigh, "We may as well. I don't think we have any other options."

"So," Edward's voice was hard, "You're a sorceress," he pointed at me, "You're a chimera," he pointed at Zel, "And you're... what?"

"Just a swordsman," Gourry replied.

"You're no ordinary swordsman," Edward whispered, as though to himself.

"Did I miss anything?" Amelia now stood in the doorway, her smile far too bright for so early in the morning.

"And you?" his voice was cracking, "Are you a leprechaun?"

Amelia grimaced and sat down next to Zel.

"Of course not," she huffed, and Edward blew out a relieved breath, "I'm a Princess."

Edward fell out of his chair.

"Don't worry," I couldn't suppress my giggle, "That's all of us. No more surprises."

"Good morning, Brother."

No more surprises, my ass. A suit of armor stood in the doorway now. Or, rather, stooping in the doorway.

"B-brother?" Amelia choked.

"This is my brother, Alphonse," Edward smirked as he picked himself up off the ground, "And if you really want a surprise, ask him to take off his helmet."

"Brother!" Al looked taken aback.

"Now, Edward," Pinako chided him again.

I took a deep breath and tried to take everything in stride. "So," I said, really trying to make peace, "This is your older brother?"

Edward snapped.

"HE'S MY YOUNGER BROTHER! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BABY-FACED TWERP?!"

_Ummm..._

"I think I still have some more questions, Lina," Pinako forcibly pulled Edward back into his seat while Alphonse just stood there, somehow looking both menacing and uncomfortable at the same time.

"I'd be happy to answer them," I replied. It was nice, for a change, meeting people that we could trust.

"You're all from a different world, you say? What is this world like?"

"It's different," I replied, leaning my forearms against the table, "Very different. Magic is commonly used and is regulated by the Sorcerer's Guild. Alchemy is just a fairytale, and Monsters exist to feed off the fear of humans." I realized early on that there were no Mazoku in this world. There was an energy similar to that of a Mazoku, but the malevolent presence I felt belonged to humans or, rather, beings too similar to humans to be mistaken with Monsters.

"It all sounds so unbelievable," Alphonse whispered in awe.

"Yeah," Edward agreed, "Are you sure you didn't just hit your head or something?"

"Now, listen," Zel spoke up from beside me, "It may sound crazy, but it's all true. Why, my body should be proof enough that we're not from around here."

"Agreed," Pinako nodded, "But you must admit that this is all a bit to take in."

"Yes," Amelia said, "It is all quite a bit to take in. Believe me, we're having difficulty adjusting to what little we've learned of your world, as well."

We all sat there for a moment, the full impact of our conversation finally breaking through into our minds. We were stranded in a different world with no clear understanding of how we got here, and no idea of how to get back. We had no supplies, no money, and no clothing but what already covered our bodies. We had no weapons but what was fastened to our belts, and in fact...

A terrible thought occurred to me and I felt my face tighten with terror.

"Zel," I turned to him, my voice shaking, "How do we even know our magic works in this world?"

His mouth fell open, and his expression looked grim. "We... we don't," he replied, and his anxiety was palpable, "It could very well be nullified in this world, especially considering that there's no such thing as magic here..."

"But Miss Lina," Amelia sobbed, "Without our magic.."

"I know," I responded, thoughtful, "We're practically defenseless."

"Hey, now," Gourry spoke up, "I know that my sword isn't always as useful as your spells, but I am pretty damn handy with it. And Zel is a great swordsman too. You too, Lina. We can get along."

"Yeah, we're all pretty good with our swords, especially you, Gourry," I replied, my voice sounding grim even to me, "But ultimately Zel and I are sorcerers. If I'm caught without my spells or my blade, I can't exactly inflict a lot of damage. And though Zel is a chimera and has skin like rock, we don't know what kind of weapons exist in this world," I turned my eyes to the surface of the table, unable to meet his, "And without your sword of light..." I let the sentence trail off, knowing that he'd understand.

Without the element of magic, we were lost.

I kind of felt like crying.

"Wow," Edward muttered from his chair. I thought that perhaps our pitiful situation had hit some kind of nerve, that maybe he did feel an ounce of kindness toward us. "You can sure sound a lot older than you look."

Speaking of hitting a nerve. "Excuse me?" I gave him my best "bandit-killer" glare, "Exactly how old do you think I am?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. Sixteen? Seventeen?"

Gourry covered his eyes, Zel covered his ears, and Amelia placed a hand against her mouth in shock.

I took a deep breath.

"YOU'RE LOOKING AT A TWENTY-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, YOU DUMB PIECE OF SLUG SHIT! YOU WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE MYSELF IF I KICKED YOU IN THE ASS! YOU'RE JUST A PINT-SIZED SQUIRT THAT HAS TO LOOK UP TEN FEET IN ORDER TO SEE HIS _YOUNGER _BROTHER!"

I'll spare you the details, but it just got worse from there. We yelled, we screamed, we called each other all kinds of nasty things. Eventually, though, things went a little too far.

"AND HOW EXACTLY CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A WOMAN?" Edward yelled at me, his face an inch away from mine as we both stood, our hands bracing firmly against the table top while we argued, "YOU'RE NO BIGGER THAN A THUMBNAIL, AND YOU'RE ABOUT AS DEVELOPED AS A LARVA!"

My blood boiled and I couldn't quite believe that this brat I just met was treating me with such disdain.

My eyes cut to slits as I glared at him, and my voice seemed to boom throughout the countryside. I didn't even think as I answered, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! I'M A MARRIED WOMAN, SMALLFRY, AND I'M DEVELOPED ENOUGH TO BE CARRYING A KID BIGGER THAN YOU!"

As soon as I realized what came out of my mouth I sat down hard, terrified by my own outburst. I couldn't face Gourry, but I could feel his stare eating away at my peripheral vision.

I made a choking sound.

"Lina..."

"Did I miss anything?" Winry, still in her pajamas, yawned from the doorway. Her eyes were still half-closed in sleep.

I groaned as I felt my head hit the table hard, and then everything was black.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

Edit 4/21/07: I changed a couple of lines per dqbunny's review, cuz I think she was right. I hope I improved the fic with the change. I also fixed a mistake or two, though I'm sure there's more in there. I accidentally called the Sorcerer's Guild the Magician's Guild... whoopsie. I think I read a book series with a Magician's Guild or something... anyway, continue with the author's notes!

Ugh. So, I've had this idea for quite a while now, but was unsure of how to put the two worlds together...

I guess I still kind of failed at that, but I think this works. Really, my only goal was to get Lina and Ed together. Come on, they are way too similar to be left alone.

Anyway, I literally just typed out all of this in about three hours, non-stop sans bathroom breaks.

I have a headache and my hands hurt like hell from typing. (20-year-olds should not have carpel tunnel syndrome, damn it) But you know when you start to write, and then you come back to the story a while later and you lost your voice? I mean, you come back and you're not in quite the same head, so it all sounds different? I just didn't want that to happen, at least for this first bit. BTW, there is probably about a 2 percent chance that any other chapters will be this long. I usually write incredibly short chapters, and I could have split this up into a bunch, but it all just fit too well together, I guess.

So, here's a couple of notes about the liberties I've taken with the Slayers world and with the Fullmetal world and characters:

This is, hopefully, written in the style of the Slayers novels. It's all from Lina's POV, which is a style that I'm not very experienced at, but enjoy quite a bit.

I have to admit that my memory probably equals that of a goldfish, so even though I'm positively obsessed with Slayers and a big Fullmetal Alchemist fan, I don't remember every detail about the series. I'm also a full-time student and work full-time as well, and as a result am kinda lazy when it comes to other endeavors. So, please forgive me for not taking the time to look some things up.

I can't remember a good deal about Ed's hometown, nor really much about Pinako in general. I can't even picture her in my mind. And I know that Ed's out of character. He's just not one I can pin down. Sorry.

As for the timeline, the story takes place well after Slayers: TRY (as can be told by Lina's age) and really anytime before any huge developments in the Fullmetal series. Basically, Ed and Al are still on their hunt for the Philosopher's Stone. Nothing big has happened. Nada. Zip.

As for the Lina and Gourry being married thing... it's usually not something that I enjoy. Usually I like reading or writing about their developing relationship, but it just didn't seem to work here. I wanted them to be intimate in this story, mostly because I wanted Lina to be a little more grounded and more willing to have someone support her--namely, Gourry. And, well... it would be kind of inconvenient to have Lina pregnant and not married to Gourry.

I didn't make Amelia and Zel together because the story is already too involved , and I don't want to have to worry about writing about two relationships. There'll be hints, of course, but nothing concrete. Sorry Amelia and Zel fans.

Oh, and like a good deal of my works (especially ones that I've been working on for... three hours now) this is unedited.

Um... I really think that's about it. Thanks for reading this far. I hope you enjoy the story.

I'm going to stop now because my hands seriously hurt like hell.

Please reward me for my efforts by reviewing.


	2. Chapter 2

It was definitely a dream this time. This time, when I opened my eyes I was going to be in a quaint little inn in Atlas City, with Gourry snoring beside me and a breakfast feast waiting for me downstairs. No business about other worlds, no pint-sized squirts with metal for limbs giving me trouble, and I was certainly not pregnant.

But, just in case, I wasn't going to get up just quite yet. I could feel another presence in the room, but they didn't know I was awake. I would just lie here, pretend to still be asleep and wait for them to go away so I could sneak out the window and--

"Lina, I know you're awake."

_Damn it._ I cracked open an eye, glancing cautiously in the direction of the voice.

Gourry sat in a chair directly in front of me, staring at me expectantly.

"How'd you know?" I whispered, giving up on the pretenses and sitting up gingerly, my head still throbbing from its intimate encounter with the table.

"Your breathing," he responded and shrugged, "And your eyelids fluttered."

I pressed myself back against the headboard, laying my head against my upraised knees. I didn't want to face Gourry, not yet. I should have told him about my pregnancy, but I was scared and I couldn't quite bring myself to bring it up yet. I knew it was no excuse, but it was the only plausible reason, and I was clinging to it.

"Lina," he said my name softly, with gentleness, and I knew I was forgiven. I've always marveled at Gourry's incredibly capacity for forgiveness. I can't count the number of times that I've lied to him, hurt him, caused him harm in manners that make me sick to my stomach now. I've put that man through hell, but he always came back to me. He always forgave me.

Well, it was the least I could do, I supposed, to look him in the eyes. I turned my head.

"Lina," he said my name again and he had a soft smile, "Am I really going to be a dad?"

I nodded, feeling disconnected with my body. If I could tell him this, I could tell him anything.

A smile grew on his face that I'd never quite seen before. He looked as though I had just given him the world.

"And.." he was still smiling that goofy smile, like he had just had five extra servings of mashed potatoes, "What... what are we going to name it? If it's a girl? If it's a boy? Can magic tell that kind of stuff? How long have you known? When is the baby gonna be born? Amelia's a priestess, is she a midwife too? How do I--"

I slapped my hand across his mouth, a vein popping in my forehead, "If you wanted to get me upset," I snarled, "To make me forget about this, it isn't working."

"Oh," Gourry sat back when I took my hand away, a disappointed look crossing his face, "I wasn't trying that at all."

"Gourry," I shook my head, letting it fall against my knees again and closed my eyes, "Are you really OK with this?"

I could feel the confusion radiating off of him. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that he hadn't thought of any of the repercussions of starting a family. "We won't be able to travel for a while," I said, "No more adventuring, no more bandit-hunting, no more saving the world," I looked at him then, and said what was really on my mind, "This baby would be our world. We wouldn't have anything else. We _couldn't _have anything else."

I waited for the impact of my statement to really sink in. He never realized the consequences, he always acted with just his heart and never his mind... he could be so _irrational _sometimes, and it upset me to have to be the one to look at the practicality of the situation. I was the one that had to bring reality crashing down. I sniffled.

"But Lina," he finally spoke, and when I looked up I saw that that sparkle had never left his eyes, "All I've ever wanted was a family. A family with you. I don't need any of that other stuff."

I have to admit that I wasn't expecting that. I guess I should have assumed that Gourry would be far too optimistic and so sweet he gave me cavities, but my own fears seemed to be pulling me down. I'd rather face a hundred pieces of Shabranigdu before I admitted how scared I was, though.

"You're right," I smiled softly, pushing aside all my doubts and reservations, "I guess having a family with you wouldn't be so bad."

Gourry got up from the chair and crawled onto the bed with me, pulling me gently into his arms. "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me," he whispered against my hair, his hand making soothing circles on my back, "Thank you."

I let myself melt into his embrace, taking the comfort he was offering. Gourry was happy about it, immensely happy in fact, and that seemed to take a weight off my chest. Maybe we _could_ raise a kid. With Gourry's optimism drugging me with hope, I could almost see ourselves in the future with a small child. I held the kid in my arms, a tiny sorcerer's cape fastened to its neck and a toy sword grasped firmly in chubby little fingers. I smiled with the vision, snuggling deeper into Gourry's warm chest. We sat like that for a while, and I was beginning to doze off when someone knocked gently on the door.

"How is she?" Amelia's head peeped in through the crack of the door.

"I'm fine," I answered, not moving from my position, "I just needed some rest."

Amelia opened the door wider, her smile widening with it.

"What?" I asked. She had a strange look on her face, like she knew something I didn't. She _never _knew _anything_ I didn't. "What?" I repeated, beginning to grow irritated.

She then surprised me by sniffling, small tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Miss Lina," her voice was raw, as though she had been crying for a while, "I just can't believe that you're going to be a mother. I'm so-so happy for you!"

"Oh, Amelia," I left the comfort of Gourry's arms and stood in front of Amelia, my hands placed gently on her shoulders. She was still crying softly, but she looked up into my eyes when she felt my hands on her shoulders.

I smiled at her gently, "Thank you," and I put my arms around her, something that I rarely did. I loved Amelia like a sister, and despite the fact that we often slept together, bathed together, and spent every waking moment together, I wasn't quite sure that she knew just how deeply I felt.

It was as though a dam broke. As soon as my arms were around her Amelia began to sob harder, her hands reaching up and her fingers digging painfully into my back. Sob after sob racked her body, and in between hiccups I heard her mutter, "We- we'll be a family, right, Miss Lina?"

I let her cry, her tears soaking into my tunic. I suddenly understood why she was so upset. She thought she was never going to see her father again. "Amelia," I whispered into her hair. We stood there for another few moments, and I felt a larger pair of arms encircle us both, and I sighed at the warmth that Gourry always seemed to radiate.

We took what comfort we could from each other, and eventually Amelia began to quiet down. I could tell she was exhausted from her emotional outburst, and Gourry helped me to set her gently in the bed. She dozed off almost immediately. When we walked away arm in arm, I suddenly had a vision of doing the same thing, only with our child. The thought made me smile.

"You look like a family to me," Pinako was standing in the doorway, puffing on a long pipe.

"Yeah, well," I scratched the back of my neck, smiling widely, "We've been through a lot together. You kind of get really close really fast when you've been through the stuff we've been through."

"Your trials and tribulations only help to strengthen your bond," as we exited the room, I saw Edward leaning against the wall in the hallway, "It's equivalent exchange. Your tears and blood for a deeper relationship with your companions."

I frowned, "That's an interesting way of looking at things."

He pushed away from the wall and placed his hands in his pockets, "It's the way the world works. In order to gain, something of equal value must be lost. It's the first rule of alchemy, and the way life works."

"How narcissistic," Zel entered the hallway from the direction of the kitchen, "To think that you could understand how the world works so perfectly."

Edward scowled. "I've seen things," he whispered, his voice rough with anger, "And you wouldn't understand."

"I understand that you've been through tough times with your brother, and because of that you feel entitled to power and respect that you haven't yet earned," Zelgadis passed Ed with a sneer, and made it a point to stand behind me on the other side of Gourry. I wasn't so sure the show of loyalty was necessary.

Pinako, being the wise woman she had proven herself to be, excused herself to work on some especially difficult automail models she was toying around with... whatever that meant.

Our stare-down was still going on when, a moment later, Alphonse was pushed forcefully into the room. He seemed to take the situation in immediately, looking as nervous and surprised as a piece of armor could look.

"What," he began, hesitating, "What's going on here?"

I was too tired to handle the heavy atmosphere. I liked to pick my fights carefully (unless it concerned food, of course, because those were all valid) and this fight was pointless. I threw my hands into the air, breaking a little bit of the tension. "Hell if I know," I muttered, glaring at both Ed and Zelgadis. "These two seem to be in some sort of pissing contest. Who's suffered more, or deserves more respect for that suffering or something like that." No one moved or spoke, and I allowed myself a heavy sigh. "Come on, Gourry," I said, "Let's leave the kids to figure this out by themselves."

"Lina!" Zel stopped me with a hand on my shoulder, and it felt heavier than it should have. He leaned toward me as he lowered his voice, "I was just trying to support you."

"I didn't start this argument, Zel," I said, stepping away. He let his hand fall dejectedly to his side.

"Why don't you go check on Amelia, huh?" I smiled that condescending smile that everyone hates to be the target of. I was tired, I couldn't hold back!

Zel's face looked stricken. "Amelia? What's wrong with Amelia?"

Oh, yeah. Zel hadn't been here for our lovely exhibition of togetherness. "Nothing," I reassured him, "She's just a little emotional, and tired. She's resting in our room."

Without a moment's hesitation Zel opened the door and rushed into the room.

I stood there for a moment, because I felt that if I moved the events of the last day and a half would press upon me and smother me. I let myself take a deep breath, let everything that had happened file through my mind.

"Lina?" Gourry stood beside me, a questioning look on his face.

"I feel pretty useless," I admitted, leaning against him and letting my head rest against his chest. "I mean, I'm supposed to be this great sorceress, and I can't even figure out what went wrong with the spell. I've gone over it a thousand times in my head, and every time I come to the same conclusion."

"What's that?" It was Alphonse that asked.

I looked up and responded, "We should be dead."

I felt Gourry stiffen at my back. Alphonse's response was similar, and Edward just continued to scowl in my general direction. I was about to elaborate, when the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end due to a high-pitched squeal coming from the direction of the bedroom.

We all turned in time to see a very red chimera rush out of the room.

"I'm sorry, Amelia!" Zelgadis was holding the door closed behind him, using more force than should have been necessary.

"Mister Zelgadis!" Amelia's voice was muffled by the door, and I could hear her grunting as she slammed into the door again, trying to force it open, "Mister Zelgadis, I won't forgive you!"

"It was an accident!" Zel was blushing harder now, his face a mask of embarrassment and agony.

"Gee, Zel, what did you do? Walk in on her naked?" Gourry asked with that dumb smile on his face.

_'Don't even think about hitting him, Lina,' _I told myself, _'That's spousal abuse!'_

However, the guilty look on Zel's face said it all.

"Oh."

The thumping was becoming less frequent, so Amelia was probably wearing herself out. She'd either get tired and just forgive Zelgadis, or she'd pretend to forgive him and kick his ass as soon as he let go of the door. I was betting on the latter.

"It's really beautiful outside," Alphonse said genially, "Why don't we continue our conversation out there?"

"Good idea," I agreed, and followed the brothers through the hall and out of the house. Let Amelia and Zel work out their differences by themselves. Edward and Alphonse stopped and stood at the bottom of the porch, so I took the liberty of using the steps as a seat. Gourry sat beside me.

"Please," Alphonse encouraged, "Tell us more."

I shrugged, and felt all my tension bunching up in my shoulders. _'Note to self: make Gourry give me a massage.'_

"I'm not really sure how much detail I should go into. You guys know virtually nothing about our world, so I may just take some information for granted that you've never heard of before. So, I guess, just stop me if you don't understand."

"To put it simply, a lot of Mazoku want us dead, and.."

"Mazoku?" Alphonse stopped me.

"Monsters," I explained, "They're very powerful beings that exist on a separate plane. They can manifest themselves in our world, but their real bodies exist on the astral plane, so its very difficult to cause them any harm."

"I see," Alphonse sounded impressed, and Ed just continued to scowl in my direction.

"So, a lot of these Monsters want us dead," I reiterated, "And they can be very difficult to kill. One of these Monsters that wants us dead found us, and was doing a pretty damn good job. Our normal spells weren't doing much good, and we still haven't found Gourry a sword to replace his Sword of Light, so..."

"Sword of Light?"

I groaned. I hadn't realized how difficult it would be to explain everything. All these details were common knowledge in our world, and I didn't even think to put things in simple terms. It was like trying to explain the hierarchy of the gods and mazoku to Gourry. You had to use really small words and speak really, really slowly.

Surprisingly, however, it was Gourry who answered. "The Sword of Light was a really famous sword that was passed down in my family," he said, "And the blade was made of a powerful light that could cut anything!"

"Not only that," I felt the need to elaborate, "But the blade was a manifestation of the swordsman's will. The strength of the blade depended on the wielder's determination and inner-strength. If you were a weak human being, you couldn't wield the Sword of Light successfully."

"Wow," I could hear the awed smile in Al's voice, and even Ed looked as though we had piqued his interest. "You said you hadn't found a sword to replace it. What happened to it?"

"It's kind of a long story," Gourry volunteered. "The Sword of Light didn't really belong with me, so I gave it to someone who would take it back to where it belonged."

"Another world?" Ed asked scathingly.

"Yeah, actually," I responded, standing up in my anger. "You know, you've given us nothing but trouble ever since we told you the truth. We're not asking you to believe us, but don't look at us as though we're idiots. If we wanted to lie, we could come up with better lies than this!"

"She's done it lots of times," Gourry grinned.

Ed looked a bit taken aback, but never lost his scowl. "Just finish your story," he muttered.

I opened my mouth, intending a scathing insult and then to continue where I had left off, but... "Um... where was I?" I looked at Gourry.

"You're asking me?" he replied, looking stunned.

Oh, that's right. _Never, ever rely on Gourry's memory. _"What was I talking about before _someone _decided to insinuate that I was a liar?"

"That's it," Edward stuck his hands in his pants pocket dejectedly, "I can't listen to this crap anymore." He stomped back up the stairs without looking at us, his gaze intent upon the floor beneath him. "Al, just fill me in later without _all the dramatics_." He shut the door behind him with a soft _click_, and I was surprised the wood didn't go up in flame from his touch alone.

"I apologize for my brother," he sounded as though he was used to it, "But he only believes in what he thinks is logical, and nothing you say makes any sense to him. Ed's kind of a... genius, really. He's not used to people telling him something he doesn't already know."

I shrugged, because it was really all I could think to do.

"Don't worry about it," Gourry had his jellyfish smile on, "I'm sure we'll work out our differences eventually."

Alphonse seemed relieved. Just how many potential friends had Edward alienated?

"Please," the armored boy disrupted my musings, "I really do want to hear the rest of your story."

Gourry looked at me expectantly, as though he hadn't lived through everything I was describing. I wondered if our kid would be as empty-headed as Gourry. I certainly hoped not. _'I wonder if I could pick and choose the kid's personality. Let's see... my brains, my sorcery skills, my charm and my good looks and Gourry's... swordsmanship. Yup, we've got a winner right there!' _

Gourry poked my side. "Finish the story, Lina."

"Well..." I smiled at Alphonse, embarrassed, and shrugged, " I think that little part of Gourry inside of me is a bad influence."

"What do you mean?"

"I have _no idea_ what I've already told you!"

* * *

Author's Notes:

OK, first off, I want to apologize to those offended by my comment about developing relationships. Let me clarify: I usually like to read stories about Lina and Gourry's first love confession, first kiss, etc. That's what I meant by their developing relationship. I in no way meant to insinuate that the relationship between partners stops developing after marriage. I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

Sooo... this story is getting out of hand. I originally intended it to be a one-shot, and my only purpose was to get Lina and Ed together to blow up at eachother. Well... obviously its just a bit longer than I meant it to be.

The plot's kind of developing as I write this, so sorry not much happened in this chapter, but I'm getting to it... gradually...

Hope you enjoyed. Review and make me smile like a goofy teenager.


	3. Chapter 3

_An update from me? No, I'm sure you must just be imagining it..._

* * *

I was sitting on the front steps, my head held in my hands and Gourry gently massaging my shoulders.

"Um... that isn't normal, is it, Mrs. Gabriev?"

I growled out a "call me Lina" and leaned back into Gourry's arms to stifle a protest. He loved it when people referred to me as "Mrs. Gabriev." I was still having trouble reconciling my identity as "Lina the bandit-slayer" to plain old "Mrs. Gabriev," though. I didn't want to keep my maiden name or anything, but "Lina Inverse" was known everywhere-- Lina Gabriev just recently came into existence.

In some ways I welcomed the lack of notoriety. People didn't run away when they heard my name anymore, and most people didn't connect the petite redhead Lina Inverse with the petite redhead Lina Gabriev. Then again... I hadn't been recognized as Nina Inertz. I suppose I shouldn't count on the publics' analytical skills.

"What's going on, Lina? You're not acting like yourself," Gourry glanced down at me with those big, worried eyes, and I felt the truth tumbling out of my mouth even as I tried to repress it.

"I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with that spell," I admitted.

"It has everything to do with that spell, Lina Inverse."

Gourry had already pulled his sword from his sheath, Alphonse was in a fighting stance, and Edward had slapped his hands together (for what reason, I have no idea), but I continued to sit calmly.

Honestly, I was wondering when he would show up.

"It's Lina Gabriev now, Xelloss. I would have thought you'd been told already... You always did seem to be well-informed."

Xelloss chuckled from his perch in midair, his eyes closed and his lips curved into a deceivingly friendly smile. "Ah, yes, now that you mention it, I do seem to recall a rumor that you two had finally tied the knot. Congratulations, congratulations!"

I waved my hand to the others, trying to calm them down and get them to lower their weapons. "What are you doing here, Xelloss? Don't tell me it was to bring me a wedding gift because, I hate to tell you, but you're about a year too late."

There was the sound of a heavy thud and a pained growl before Edward hissed, "I hate to interrupt the friendly banter but would you mind explaining why and _how _a man is floating in midair in front of Winry's house?"

Oh, yeah. Flying mazoku probably wasn't as commonplace in this world as it was in mine.

"I think that, maybe, you should be a little more discreet," I shrugged, as though the matter were out of my hands.

Xelloss heaved an exaggerated sigh and made a show of _slowly_ lowering himself to the ground. "If I must, I must."

We all stood there a moment, seemingly waiting for someone else to continue on a line of conversation, hopefully completely irrelevant from our current circumstances. But somehow it seemed impossible to query Alphonse on his taste in recreational reading, so I turned back to Xelloss instead.

"So, to what do we owe this displeasure?" I smiled sweetly.

"You mean you aren't happy to see me? And here I thought I would bring you good news and I would get a little kiss on the cheek," he actually _pouted_.

I ignored the fiery blush rising on my cheeks and instead asked, "Good news?"

The damned mazoku tilted his head to the side, as though listening to music no one else could hear. "Well... some good news, some not so good news."

"Will you just get to the point?" I was startled when Edward spoke—when a mazoku as powerful as Xelloss stood in front of you, you tended to be a little distracted.

"Oh my!" Xelloss laughed, scratching the back of his neck (seemingly embarrassed), "I'm very much reminded of the way you used to be, Lina!"

I would have hit the damned priest, except that something about his terminology bothered me. "What do you mean by _used to be_?"

I must have hit the nail on the head, because those narrowed eyes turned immediately back to me, a disturbing smile playing across his lips and an even more disturbing chuckle rising out of his throat.

"Xelloss?"

Gourry had moved as close to me as he could, pressing his entire front against my back, his hands a comforting weight on my shoulders. I could feel the tension radiating off of him, and yet somehow just his presence seemed to calm my racing heart. Why couldn't I do the same for him? Why could I only seem to receive comfort, and never reciprocate? Why couldn't I be as good to Gourry as he was to me? Not for the first time, I wondered why the hell he was with me in the first place. I could only hope that I could do better for our child.

"Why are you here, Xelloss?" Gourry asked, the dangerous part of him leaking into his voice, making the question sound more like a growl.

I had a sudden thought then, and before Xelloss could answer Gourry's question I asked one of my own. "_How _are you here?"

Xelloss looked at me as though I had finally said something interesting. "I'm a mazoku, Lina, a very powerful one at that," he was going into "lecture" mode, and I could tell a long explanation was on the way.

"You already know that I live, my _real body _lives, on a different plane of existence. If it's so easy for me to travel between the Astral Plane and the human world, is it really that difficult to believe that I can travel between human worlds with relative ease, as well?"

Well, when he put it _that _way.

"Which also explains how you came to be here," Xelloss continued. "The Chaos spell that you so wonderfully mangled was a spell that separated the physical body on a cellular level... you should literally have been able to tear your opponent apart, not limb from limb but _atom from atom_."

I felt a chill run down my spine. Is that what I had been trying to do?

"So when the spell backfired...?" I hedged, not quite sure I wanted the answer.

"You and your friends were split apart!" he laughed, as though it were funny. It probably was to him.

I tried to process the information Xelloss had given me. I had performed the Chaos Spell incorrectly—the Chaos Spell that had the ability to rip the physical body apart into millions and millions of pieces, and it had backfired onto all of us. The only question left was--

"Why aren't we dead?" Gourry asked, his voice thoughtful, as though he hadn't really meant to speak aloud.

I expected Xelloss' lecture to continue, but he only stood there, looking as lost as the rest of us. "Honestly," he finally said, "I have no idea. My best guess would have to be that either some kind of transportation spell was performed simultaneously, or someone performed a summoning spell in which you happened to fit the criteria."

"But then why all of us?" I asked, "Why not just me?"

Xelloss shrugged again, "Why did the spell backfire onto all of you, rather than just the one who cast it?" he shook his head, as though chastising me, "Magic isn't science, Lina."

I slumped once again to the porch steps, a weight lifted from my shoulders and worries twice as heavy weighing in my mind. So we knew how we had come to be here. I could easily find out if Amelia or Zel had cast a transportation spell, but if they hadn't... who had summoned me, and for what purpose?

"So, what now?" Gourry asked no one in particular.

"Hmmm," Xelloss whistled happily, without a care in the world, "Do you suppose your hosts might have room for one additional guest?"

"Why?" I muttered tiredly, "Just go back to the astral plane while you're waiting to bother us again. Why should it be any different than usual?"

"Well," the damned priest's tone didn't waver, "It seems as though I'm unable to return to the astral plane. In fact, I'd say that I'm stuck here just as much as you are!"

Before I could process what Xelloss had just told me I felt Gourry lean over me, using his hand to tilt my chin so I would look at him.

"Gourry?"

"Try one of your spells, Lina," he said, softly—fearfully.

If Xelloss couldn't use his magic...

Without asking him to, Gourry snatched Xelloss' cape and hid us beneath it, creating a deep and perpetual darkness. He knew which spell would decide our fate.

"Lighting," I muttered.

We waited a moment, but darkness continued to surround us, and I could feel it constricting around my heart just as strongly as Gourry's arms crushed my body to his.

* * *

_Author's Notes:_

_Yes, I know it's short. I'm sorry it took me so long to get out such a frickin' short chapter._

_Honestly, where the hell does time go? _

_Please review... it'd make me super-duper waaay happy._


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Slayers, Fantasy, Humor