Kingdom Hearts 1. Prologue The Epic failure of Experiments

**Well here it is!! The beginning of mah new story! *dances. Sorry the prologue is so short….T_T BUT!!! The first chapter is in progress!!!**

**Axel: *pokes, Go on! Tell them! XD**

**Nightwing99:…¬_¬..fine then…Axel wishes you to know that this fic will be a yaoi starring AkuRoku, however…**

**Axel: Hellz yeah! I'm getting some Roxas to night!**

**Nightwing:…there will be nothing explicit.**

**Axel: Yea….Wait..WHAT?!**

**Nightwing99: You will be looking after kiddies moron, Got it memorized *smirks**

**Axel: Nuuuuu you can't do this to me!!!**

**Nightwing99: I'm the author, I could put you in a dress if I want.**

**Axel: But I need a piece of Roxas!!**

**Roxas: I'm not a piece of meat you sod.**

**Axel:…..er…..i love you?**

* * *

Roxas couldn't believe it, any of it. In all honesty he was still in complete and utter shock. He turned his head to look at Axel. The red head wore the same expression as he did. A 'What The Fuck' look. The keyblade wielder switched his gaze back to the scene in front of him. Impossible, it was just impossible, but then again when it came to Vexen's experiments anything could happen. And this time, it did. It wasn't unusual for Vexen's experiments to be made of totally and epic fail, where everything that could go wrong goes wrong. But this time things had totally gone wrong, so wrong that it made Demyx's retarded-ness look normal. Roxas just stared at the now 'chibi-ized' Melidonious Noctune as he ran round in pointless circles making 'nee naw' noises before smashing into the back of a Chibi-ized Xaldin who flipped out and started chasing the Chibi Demyx round the room, before tripping over his own feet, crashing into Demyx who crashed into Marulxia who grabbed Larxene as he fell and all of them then proceeded to demolish a defenceless coffee table.

Roxas gulped. The blonde and the red head glanced at each other, both thinking the same thing.

They were so fucked.

* * *

**Oh noes however will our dear Axel and Roxas cope!!**

**Next Chapter!!**

**Banana**

**Dog**

**Gas Mask**

**Whoever can spot which characters says these 3 words first gets to choose the 3 random words for the next chappie!! ( lmao this sad I know…but humour me XD) **


	2. Of curious kiddies and kitchens

**Chapter one! Done!**

**Enjoy guys! **

**(I would write some more here….but its quarter to 1 in the morning….and I can't be asked XD)**

* * *

Axel groaned as he collapsed on the couch, slinging his arms along the back, he let his head slump forward. Having been unlucky enough to be the one to have to grab Larxene to stop the fight between her and Marluxia after the table incident, he discovered that she was just as much a bitch as a little girl as she was normally; he had the bite marks to prove it.

"Oh for the love of Kingdom Hearts! They've only been like this for 10 minutes and already I want a beer!"

Roxas scowled. Placing a whimpering Marluxia on the ground, who then proceed to cling to his leg while watching Larxene, he turned to face the fire wielder. "And whose fault is that do I wonder! What part of Vexen screaming 'DON'T TOUCH!' do you and Demyx not understand!"

" Com'on Rox! When old Turkey boy leaves a brand new super powered water pistol that Xenmas wouldn't buy me and Dem in his lab we're bound to touch it! Pfft he was asking for it to happen…" Axel whined

"But not when it's full of his freaky experiments! Seriously I though you had more a brain then that! Maybe not Demyx, but you yes!"

"It's not my fault! We didn't know it wasn't water! I mean what kind of moron makes a potion like this anyway! _'Oh look I'm a super genius scientist what shall I do today? Oh I know! I'll make a potion that turns people into 6 years olds for no apparent reason!'_ Besides, that's what you do with water pistols…spray everyone in sight, and then turn on your accomplice! So it wasn't my fault, got it memorised." Cried Axel while waving his arms about, in a very bad impression of Vexen.

"Don't you 'got it memorised me'! It's still your fault no matter what you sa…."

"AHHHHHH!! Wexy! Warxenes gonna eats me!"

Axel and Roxas turned to see a tiny, well he was tiny to begin with....so a very tiny, Zexion racing across the room to jump into a startled Lexaeus's arms, followed by a cackling Larxene.

"Get down here you pansy!"

"NO!" wailed Zexion as he buried his face in Lexaeus's shoulder.

"You leave him alone you meanie!" With Zexion still sobbing, Lexaeus turned and walked off. Roxas walked over to the miniature savage nymph.

"Larxene, just what were you trying to do to Zexion… and why are you holding a gas mask?"

"I only wanted to play dress up" she giggled holding up the gas mask.

"Er...where the hell did she get a gas mask from…why the hell do we even have one!?" Axel called from the couch.

"Why the hell should I know you moron! Right, Marluxia can you let go of my leg please and go find the others or something." Roxas watched as the mini-Marly nodded and toddled off. Crashing onto the couch next to Axel he sighed. "Now what do we do?"

Axel crossed his arms and pouted. "Hmp, I thought I was a moron."

"Gah…hush up. Seriously what do we do?"

"Hmm, well I have an idea. I'm surprised you didn't think of it first Mr Know-it-all."

"…. Well what is it then Mr High and Mighty"

Axel grinned; turning his head he tapped his cheek with his finger. "Ah,ah,ah, this info gonna cause ya!"

Growling Roxas muttered a quick 'fine' and leaned forward. At the last second Axel flicked his head round grinning as he claimed Roxas' lips. Roxas pulled away.

"You bastard!"

Roxas struggled away from Axel, who was grinning like a kid with a magnifying glass on a sunny day.

"Oh Roxy. Their no escape now." At that Axel surged forward trapping Roxas underneath him.

"Whaaa!"

Roxas only had time to stutter a quick 'oh crap' before Axel crashed his lips against his. He gasped as Axel plunged his tongue into his mouth, exploring every crevice. Feverishly Roxas began kissing back, hungrily pulling Axel closer. A moan escaped his lips as a pale hand found its way into his clock. Locking his trembling hands in Axel's hair he impatiently waited as the hand moved lower before…

"Dude, what are you doing?"

They both froze, slowly looking around. There in the doorway stood Xigbar, in all of his awesome shortness.

"Heh...Er…well… we were just…playing? Yeah playing!" stammered Axel, still with his hand in Roxas' cloak. "Right Roxas?"

"Er, yeah...just playing…"

Xigbar cocked his head. "Then why was you hurting him?"

'_Shit…' _They both thought

"..What make you say that…?"

Looking at Roxas he pointed to Axel's hand. "'Cause you was moaning and stuffs and he was taking off your clothes."

Finally realising the position they were still in, Roxas shoved Axel off him and proceeded to re-zip his cloak. Clearing his throat Axel turned to the short zebra-head.

"It's…a, er… special game…for like you and your bestest friend…that adults play...Now I think I can hear Luxord calling for you."

"Oh...ok then, cya!" And at that, Xigbar turned and ran back down the hall.

"Phew…close one…" Roxas only frowned at him.

"No more of that in front of them at all."

"Whaaaat! ....But as long as it's not in front of the kiddies then its all good" Axel smirked and raised his eye-brow suggestively.

"Not if you carry on like this there won't be. Now what was this idea of yours?"

"Oh yeah…Vexen's lab, he's bound to have it written somewhere in all those crappy notebooks he keeps."

Roxas face-palmed. "Why the hell did I not think of that?!"

**x-x-x-x-x**

"Right then, it has to be in one of these!" Axel pointed to the stack of books in front of them. After making their way through Vexen's many randomly placed 'Anti Twat Traps', which saw Axel get electrocuted in a trap meant for Xigbar, they finally made there way in to the lab. Which… wasn't that exciting…in all honesty, except for the bloodstain on the floor by the wall, but they weren't going to go there. Swiftly Roxas grabbed a book and flicked it open and began scanning the contents, following suit Axel did the same.

**5 Minutes later**

"Roxas! I'm bored!"

"Shut up and read."

**x-x-x-x-x**

The next hour past and the only sound was Roxas turning pages on his 15th book, Axel lay slumped and drooling over his 1st, having fallen asleep after the first 10 minutes.

Finally a neat pile of 21 books laid in front Roxas. He rubbed at his eyes. "Nothing…Absolutely, nothing." Glancing round at Axel who was still drooling, Roxas pulled the book out from under him, thinking that as much as Vexen deserved it at the moment; he didn't really need Axel's drool all over his notes. Wiping the book on Axel's sleeve, he went to close it when something caught he eye. There on the very page Axel was on were the very notes Roxas had just spent the last 2 hours looking for… Carefully closing the book, he stood up, and then promptly brought the book down on Axel's head.

**x-x-x-x-x**

"Quit you're sniffing; it was your own fault. I spent TWO HOURS looking for those notes! When you had then under you cheek!"

Still holding his head Axel looked up. "Yeah but you didn't need to hit me so hard Roxy...I thought you loved me!" and at that Axel threw himself forwards at Roxas, only to be met with the sole of Roxas' boot. While he rolled around on the floor, Roxas opened the book and read through the notes again.

"It's says here that the potion rewinds the physical and mental state of the subject. However after testing on subject Little Dem, the effects proved to be temporary. Hmm, so that's where Demyx's dog went."

He peered over the top of the book at Axel who was still flails around on the ground. "Oh will you get…"

**BANG**

They both shot up.

"Whoa! What the hell was that?!"

"…..The kitchen!!!" they bother cried in unison as they tore down the hallway.

**x-x-x-x-x**

As they neared the kitchen, the bangs grew louder and were now accompanied by the sounds of giggling. They crashed through the kitchen door, Axel immediately treading on a banana skin and falling flat on his face. Pulling himself up using Roxas' leg, they surveyed in disbelief the chaos before them.

It was painful…so very painful.

Xigbar was hanging upside down from the light while Saix launched various pots and pans at him, screaming in some kind of language…that made no sense at all. Zexion was sitting on Lexaeus' shoulders as the two of them watched Larxene trying to force Marluxia into the oven while Vexen ran round them screaming, followed by Xaldin who was holding several knives. Luxord was sitting in the sink with a bottle of what looked like rum… laughing hysterically at nothing. With a cry Xigbar fell off the light after Xenmas threw a well aimed tomato at his face, landing on top of Xaldin whose knives flew at Larxene. Screaming she fell forward to dodge them, the force pushing the oven door closed with Marluxia inside. Unaware that Xaldin was no longer there, Vexen continued to run into a screaming Saix knocking the both into the open fridge.

While the chaos continued to unfold, Roxas felt a tugging at his trousers, looking down he saw a flour covered Demyx…with what looked like mush in his hair.

"Woxas! Warxene smushed banana in my hair!"

Roxas gulped…this day just got better and better.

* * *

**Wah-hey! First chapter done!! And you even got a bit of AkuRoku, damn Xigbar and his timing**

**Remember, first person to tell say which characters said the 3 magic word first gets to choose the magic words for the next chapter!**


End file.

Kingdom Hearts, Humor, Romance