Harry Potter Cabbage Patch Babies

Ron Weasley was a normal five year old boy. He liked playing games with his little sister, even though she was kind of girly sometimes. He didn't like playing with his older brothers, Fred and George; they liked playing tricks on him. He thought Bill and Charlie were cool and that Percy should stop reading and play with him, or at least read a book with pictures to Ron!

Like most children his own age, he constantly asked the question "Why," and many other questions that grown-ups couldn't always explain.

On this particular day, their "cousin" (she was really their uncle's son's wife or something along those lines), Annabelle Weasley, was on her way over when Ron asked the question "Why?"

"Why what Ronnie?" his mummy asked patiently as she dug through Ginny's wardrobe.

"Why is Ann'belle coming?" He never could say her name right.

"Because, dear, she's having a baby soon and she asked if she could have some old baby clothes that are too small for you and Ginny." His mother explained as she inspected a tiny baby jumper.

"Oh." He paused for a minute. "Where do babies come from?"

Molly was startled by the sudden question. She had, of course, answered it many times before, but that was usually due to a new sibling being born. Bill and Charlie had asked when Molly was expecting Percy. Percy had asked when Ron was born and the twins had asked when their stray cat had given birth to her kittens. But she hadn't expected Ron to ask for a few more years at least, or she was hoping he wouldn't ask until she could give him at least part of the truth. It seemed her only option was to tell him what she'd told the others when they were younger. "The cabbage patch," she stated after only a moment's hesitation.

"Oh." Ron didn't really understand this answer, but he wasn't going to press for more of an explanation.

The little boy knew it wasn't the whole truth, but he also knew one of his brothers would tell him, if he asked. Bill and Charlie must know, he reasoned, but they were at Hogwarts and Mummy wouldn't let him use Errol yet. Percy probably knew, because Percy knew _everything, _Ron thought logically. He slowly climbed the stairs to his older brother's bedroom.

"Perce?" he asked tentatively as he opened the door. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Ronnie," Percy replied as he pushed his glassed up higher.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Did you ask mum?" Ron nodded. "Did she tell you they came from the cabbage patch?" Ron nodded again. "Well that's it then." And with that, Percy turned back to his book.

"But mummy didn't say _how_ they got into mummy's tummies." Ron was starting to get impatient; his brother _had _to know. "I thought you would know 'cause you know _everything_."

Percy softened at his little brother's words. "Well mum never told me exactly, but I suspect that she ate the cabbage and then the baby grew in her tummy."

"Oh. Thanks Perce," said the small redhead. This made sense to him at first, but the more he thought about it, the more he knew their mum wouldn't eat them, even if it was only cabbage.

He didn't want to ask the twins, who knew what they'd do to him? After all, only last week they'd turned his teddy bear into a spider.

No he decided he couldn't ask them, they'd make fun of him for not knowing. Maybe Ginny would have an idea. She wouldn't know of course, she was only a baby, but maybe she would have an idea about where they came from in the cabbage patch.

When he finally found her playing in her room, he decided she wouldn't know so there was no sense in asking her.

"Hi Wonnie!" she sang out. She'd been doing this annoying thing lately where she had to sing everything she said. "Do you wanna play dollies wiff me? You can be da pwince and I'll be da pwincesst." She smiled.

Ron wrinkled his nose. "I don't wanna play a girly game! 'Sides I'm twyin' to figure out where babies come fwom."

"Oooo! I wanna help!" She clapped her tiny hands.

"No Ginny you can't! You're a baby! You don't know."

She crossed her arms. "I not a baby, you're da baby." Then she pointed at him and yelled "Baby! Baby! Let me help you or I make sure all your toys are spiders!" She glared.

Ron paled. "Ok you can help! I have to go ask Fred and George."

Ginny smiled, "Dere in da garden." She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the stairs.

Fred and George were indeed in the garden when the children finally got outside. They were currently chasing garden gnomes and throwing them over the fence.

"Hey! Gwed! Fowge!" Ginny yelled, sometimes she got the first letters of their names mixed up, but the twins thought it was funny and started calling each other by those names. "Wonnie and me wanna know where babies come fwom."

"They come from the cabbage patch of course!" said one twin, Ron thought it was Fred.

"Yeah, mum told us." Said the other.

"But where do they come from in the cabbage patch?" asked Ron. "How do they get here?"

The twins pointed to the garden gnomes that were trying to dig under, climb over and even throw themselves over the fence.

"The gnomes bring them?" Ron asked appalled. He didn't very much like the idea of a gnome bringing him to his family.

"No silly!" Exclaimed Fred.

"The gnomes are-" George explained.

"The babies!" Fred finished.

Ron scoffed at the idea.

"No really! Don't you remember how ugly Ginny was when she was a baby?" Fred snickered.

Ginny put her hand on her hips and glared at her older brothers.

"It's ok, sis, you've gotten cuter." George told her with a smile. This seemed to satisfy their little sister.

"We used to throw you over the wall all the time Ron!" One twin told him.

"Yeah and you'd always come back," the other twin laughed.

"So mum and dad said we could keep you!" They shouted together

"Well how did we get into mummy's tummy then?"

"I don't know, a spell probably," said Fred with a shrug.

"But they're so ugly!" said Ron, "why don't we look like them?"

"That's just how it works little brother."

"So if I want a wittle sister I just need to pick out da gnome that I wike da bestest?" asked Ginny.

"Yep that's right!" said the twins. "Well if you'll excuse us, we're going to go see cousin Annabelle."

The twins left and Ron followed. He'd finally gotten the answers he needed, even if it wasn't the answer he wanted.

Later, when all of the boys were saying good bye to cousin Annabelle, Ginny came marching down the stairs carrying a squirming (and cussing) pink baby-sized bundle.

"Annie! Say bye-bye to Posy!"

"Is that your baby doll?" asked Annabelle kindly.

"No! She's my new wittle sister, but she's not cute yet 'cause she still needs to gwow," explained the three year old. "Hewe you can hold her." She tipped the bundle into her cousin's arms.

Annabelle shrieked and dropped the bundle named Posy, which turned out to be one of the ugliest gnomes the Burrow had to offer. Their cousin ran out of the house to Disapparate closely followed by Posy, who was wearing Ron's Chuddley Cannon's shirt and Ginny's pink tutu.

Molly, who had been watching the scene, sighed. She knew tonight she and Arthur would have to explain that Garden gnomes _were not _babies, and perhaps they'd even explain how babies really came, of course omitting some-er- minor details.


End file.

Harry Potter, Family, Humor