Naruto 1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I know I've been promising "This Sounds Like a Cheesy Game Show", but when I checked the polls, I noticed something, everyone was voting for Kiba, Gaara, and Shino since I interact with users who like these pairings and I wrote a story about KibaxSakura. That's no fair to the other couples D; so I will write more pairings to lure people in MWHAAA "flashlight jutsu!" REMIXED HIGH SCHOOL WIFEY!

Disclaimer: Me no Own Naruto or song. And it's a remix so it doesn't count!

PLEASE VOTE FOR FAVORITE SAKURA PAIRING ON PROFILE

Why Sakura? Because she has no real pairing, we know…Shikatema, Naruhina or Kibahina (I like Naruhina), InoSai or Cho, and Nejiten or Leeten. So yeah! R&R!

Current standings:

Gaara, Kiba, Neji, Itachi, and Shino tied for first with 3 votes each

Deidara and Sasuke are second with 2 votes

Kabuto amd Iruka tied for third with 1 vote (Kabuto? Iruka?)

NO SASORI?! NO KAKASHI? This must change! X3

_Thoughts_

_**Remixed Lyrics**_

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"Lady Hokage, we have Deidara, the S-class criminal and member of Atasuki, he wants to see you and Sakura-san," an ANBU with a hawk mask and a boom box said.

"You better not try anything funny," the other one said to Deidara.

"Of course not, yeah," Deidara said as the ANBU pushed him into the room.

"Is that the criminal Team 7 captured today?" Tsunade asked.

"Yeah!" Deidara said.

"Anything you say can and will be used against you," the ANBU said.

"What do you want? And why do you have a boom box, Taro?" the Hokage said as Sakura handed her a sack of papers to sign.

"Well I think I get one last call before my butt is carted off to prison, so yeah," he said.

"Who do you want to talk to?" the Hokage said, slightly confused.

"Sakura-chan, yeah," he said. Everyone froze and an awkward moment followed. (A/N: AWKWARD FLAGPOLE!!!!)

"What do you want with me?" Sakura asked, confused to why an S-class member wanted to talk to her, "I'm not easily intimidated,"

"No, no not anything like that," Deidara said as he waved his hands, the mouth opening to smile at her.

"Then what do you want?" she asked staring at the hand.

"The ANBU have given me this last request, yeah. Hit it!" Deidara said as Taro "hit it". High school wifey played from the boom box, but it was edited into karaoke version!

"…" everyone but Deidara was thinking.

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"**Oooo, yeah could you be my Konoha wifey**

**Could you be yeah**

**My Konoha wifey**

**It was another mission,**

** I'm running around like E.A. sports, **

**She's next to the kyuubi container with a kunai pouch on her shorts,**

** And I grinned at her and she just smiled at me, yeah, **

**And she knocked me into my partner Tobi who said "Owie" ,"  
**

"Hey look Deidara-sempai, it's the Nine-tails! He's wearing the same color orange as my mask (A/N: see my story "Orange" for more on this)

"Tobi, shut up, yeah," Deidara said as he saw a head of pink hair. _Pink hair? So soft and silky, yeah. I want to braid it, and curl it, and stroke it, and brush it yeah!_

"On three Tobi, attack, one, two, three!" Deidara said as he ran out of the bushes at a rate a basketball player would be proud of. _That girl with the pink hair is next to that brat? And with a Leaf Headband? Pity the poor girl had to be a ninja, she's much too pretty to be one, and a ninja of the Leaf too, if she was born in Rock, we could have gotten together before that weasel took me away. _

Deidara grinned at the thought of his cute little pink-haired girlfriend as he made a clay model of her and threw it at Naruto. He was still grinning while Naruto was screaming at him. Sakura saw him.

_ Is he grinning because he taking Naruto away will be easy?! He underestimated me? Heck no! _Inner Sakura screamed.

Sakura pumped some charka into her fist and punched Deidara into Tobi.

"OWIE!" Tobi screamed.

_ Beautiful and strong, she a work of art, yeah _Deidara thought.

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**"But I be with the Akatsuki steady trying to control the world, **

**And she be in the Leaf Village steady healing as a top medic, **

**And she the type to study things, I'm the type to explode things,**

** But opposites attract so let's hook up and do some fun things."  
**

"Is an S-class criminal singing to me?" Sakura asked Shizune.

"Stranger things have happened, like when the Hokage got drunk and ordered her sake bottle to turn into a fish…." Shizune said.

"So that's where Kisame came from!" Deidara said in between lyrics. (A.N: LOL)

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"Yeah, so what's the role of this Akasuke or whatever it's called?" Deidara asked on the first day of his new life since Itachi beat him.

"We are trying to control the world using the tailed beasts," Pain said, "You will use your bombs to help us with this goal…or else…"

Meanwhile………

"Thank you Sakura-san for healing my little boy after the Chunin Exams," Asa said.

"You're welcome and better luck next year, Huyu!" Sakura said as she went to her office to take a break. Putting her feet up, she picked up book about herbs and their uses that was lying next to the manga she just bought.

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**"Konoha wifey,**

**I'm an S-class criminal that's why your Hokage don't like me, **

**They always say that crimes ain't nothing but a thing.**

** So it shouldn't matter that I've commited more than fifteen, I just want to get close to you, yeah."**

**Konoha wifey, **

**I'm older than you by three years that's why your sensei don't like me, **

**They always say that age ain't nothing but a thing. **

**So it shouldn't matter that I'm not fifteen,**

** I just want to get close to you.  
**

"Deidara, even though I have no business telling you this, wait, I do, STAY AWAY FROM SAKURA, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE IN LOVE OR WHATEVER, YOU ARE OLDER THAN HER BY THREE YEARS, AND AN S-CLASS CRIMINAL! Are you listening to me?"

"But it's lurve!" Tobi said, suddenly popping in so fast and unexpectedly the ANBU just missed him.

"But Shikamaru's younger than Temari by three years, and so what about the crimes?" Deidara said.(A/N: How he know this? o.0)

"You're an S-Class criminal, she is the top healing medic and my apprentice, and FRANKLY I DON'T LIKE YOU!" the Hokage said in a voice heightened by sake.

**--------------------------------------------------------**

**"It was a Monday morning just another week of being tracked by ANBU, **

**And in my mind it's five more days of Tobi, Boo-hoo! yeah**

**And as the week goes by everything stays the same, **

**I'm still with my boys running things never change, **

**But I met you on a mission asked if you wanna go on a date, **

**Told me you were here to capture me that I couldn't even count to eight,**

**Whispered in my ear and told me you were not going to miss anything, **

**you can be my Konoha wifey how that sound baby, yeah."  
**

"Deidara-sempai, Deidara-sempai, Deidara-sempai!" Tobi said.

"I wish this week would end!" Deidara said. He couldn't take anymore.

Moments later……….. after Sakura hit Deidara!

"GET OFF ME TOBI!" Deidara yelled as he picked himself off of Tobi. Turning in Sakura's direction, he stated, "Wanna go on a date?"

Rolling her eyes, Sakura said, "We're here to capture you, so we can pump you for information about Sasuke-kun, you can't even count to eight before we catch you,"

She pulled the clay spider off the tree that Deidara threw on it, in hopes of distracting them. "I'm not even going to miss one of your tricks," she said.

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"**Konoha wifey, **

**I tried to rip their demons out that's why your best friend and Gaara don't like me, **

**They always say that extracting demons ain't nothing but a thing. **

**So it shouldn't matter that I've tried to do it times fifteen,**

** I just want to get close to you."  
**

"Hey Granny Tsunade! Guess what Gaara came to visit!" Naruto said as he rudely went into the office.

"Hey, it's that guy who tried to kill me!" Gaara and Naruto said in unison

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"**Konoha wifey,**

** I have her haircut that's why Ino don't like me, **

**They always say that long blonde hair ain't nothing but a thing. **

**So it shouldn't matter that I've have the hair length of fifteen, **

**I just want to get close to you."  
**

"Sakura! Sakura! Hey let's go to the mall!" Ino screamed as she too went in without knocking. "Hey that guy has my hairstyle, Sakura this is a hair emergency, come with me to the salon!" Ino said.

"But Sakura needs to kick that guy's butt!" Naruto said as Gaara nodded in agreement.

"But Sakura is going to go on a date with me, yeah!" Deidara said.

"Yeah right!" Everyone but Sakura and Deidara said.

"Oink!" said Tonton in agreement.

"Let me at least finish my song!" Deidara said, "You are killing the mood, yeah!"

**---------------------------------------------------------------**

"**It was the middle of the day and I'm here with the Hokage,**

** I can't go alone so I got two ANBU on my arm, **

**But I see you over there and you just see me looking,**

** And I got a thing for you baby girl I ain't wolfing. **

**But I'm just not allowed to be with you cause my class is S, **

**The Hokage asked how did Sakura get into this mess,**

** I asked the ANBU to sing this song cause my time is almost done,**

** I sang this song in your ear to tell you baby your the one, yeah."  
**

Sakura just stared at him, and Deidara stared back.

"How did you get into this mess?" the Hokage said.

"Sakura, you can't date this guy!" everyone but Sakura and Deidara said.

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"**Konoha wifey,**

** I'm an artist of exploding clay that's why Shizune don't like me, **

**They always say that exploding clay ain't nothing but a thing. **

**So it shouldn't matter that I've have made them more times than fifteen, **

**I just want to get close to you."  
**

"He makes exploding clay bombs! I don't like him, I mean, come on, EXPLODING CLAY BOMBS! When people ask you what your boyfriend's job is, you can't say a bomber!" Shizune said.

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"**Konoha wifey, **

**I got mouths on my hands that's why Kakashi and Kiba don't like me, **

**They always say that extra body parts ain't nothing but a thing. **

**So it shouldn't matter that I've have mouths on my hands but less than fifteen, **

**I just want to get close to you."  
**

"Yo!" Kakashi said.

"Sup!" Kiba said.

"We hear the noise, and Sakura, you can't date this guy, he has mouths on his hands, if you hold his hand, you'll get drool all over it!" Kakashi said.

"He'll like taste you when he holds your hand," Kiba said, "Even you don't even like it when Akamaru licks you!"

"He's a bad choice!" Akamaru said in dog.

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"**Konoha wifey, I really hate Sharingon that's why Sasuke wouldn't like me,**

** They always say that grudges ain't nothing but a thing. **

**So it shouldn't matter that I've have more than fifteen, **

**I just want to get close to you."  
**

"Achoo!" Sasuke said.

"Are you cold, Sasuke, you can cuddle with me to stay warm," Karin said.

"Someone's probably talking about me, and I don't like them, and NO!" Sasuke said.

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"**Konoha wifey, **

**I was Sasori's partner that's why Kankuro don't like me, **

**They always say that partners ain't nothing but a thing.**

** So it shouldn't matter that he was my partner for more minutes than fifteen,**

** I just want to get close to you."  
**

"Hey Gaara! Found you!" Kankuro said.

"Why is everyone in my office!" the Hokage said.

"Hey is that the guy who was Sasori's partner? Sasori almost killed me! Why is he here?" Kankuro said.

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"**Wanna get close to you,**

** Oooo just wanna get close to you **

**Ooo, baby just wanna get close to you yeah"** Deidara said with pleading eyes.

He sighed. "Okay guys, I'm done, just escort me back to my cell," he said.

"Yeah!" everyone but Sakura yelled.

"And stay away from Sakura-chan!" Naruto said.

"It's not like I'd thought we could be together, just had to say it, you know?" Deidara said as the ANBU started to walk him about the door.

"Wait!" Sakura said.

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Cliffie! If you want to read next chappie, subscribe to the story or leave a review, I'll PM you, and vote for your fave Sakura pairing!


	2. The Old Me is Dead and Gone

_Hey, this is the second chapter! The third chapter will hopefully come out soon…._

"_The old me is dead and gone," _

_-T.I._

_Deidara spun around. "Yeah?" he asked. The two ANBU just casually turned their heads as everyone just stared with big eyes. _

"_Well, that was a really great song," Sakura said. Deidara smiled. "And well, I think you're really good at singing and stuff, but we barely know each other. And you tried to kill my best friend. I really want to give you a chance, but how about getting to know each other first. Friends?" she said. _

"_Friends. Come visit me in prison? And if you wait for me, I promise I'll change" he said. _

"_I'll visit you in prison, but I'm not guarantying anything," Sakura said as the two ANBU tugged Deidara along. _

"_And I can live with that," Deidara said. He waved a little wave at her, and she waved back. _

_SAAKKKKKKKURAAAAAAAA-chan! How could you be friends with someone who was in a group that tried to kill me! He basically planned to kill me! And he killed Gaara!" Naruto said, gesturing at the Kazekage, "How can you be friends with someone who chose to be evil?! Besides, isn't he going to be killed anyways after they pump him for info?!" . _

"_Actually, if the information we gathered on Deidara is correct, he didn't just choose to join the Akatsuki. He was originally a rock-nin, but left the village to become an assassin bomber for hire. Their leader ordered some of the members to go get him, which he refused, until he fought Itachi and lose. Due to Itachi's conditions, losing meant he had to join, so he is a missing-nin, but he isn't going to be killed since it's legal for a ninja to go become a ninja for hire and leave the village and his entrance in Akatsuki was forced, " Shizune said. (A/N: I'm not sure if this is true, but I don't think Deidara is all that bad, if he wanted to get a new career as a bomber, what's wrong with that, except, you know, killing people and stuff…so he is a good guy…sorta)_

"_See, he isn't all bad!" Sakura said. _

"_Shizune!" the Fifth Hokage said. _

"_What! I was just pointing out the facts, that doesn't mean that I support her decision!" Shizune said as Tonton oinked. _

"_Shizune!" Sakura said. _

"_What!" she said. _

"_Hey come on now, apparently this Deidara isn't all bad. What's wrong with her being friends with him, or more…" Ino said, crossing her arms and smirking over to Sakura. _

"_Thanks, Ino," Sakura said. _

"_No problem, hey, he has great taste in hair, and I think he may be related to me…" Ino said. _

"_WHAT!" everyone screamed. _

"_I have family in the Village Hidden in the Rocks, it's possible we're related. Actually, I think I do have a third cousin, once removed with a name that starts with a D. And if we are related, and if Sakura marries him…" Ino said. _

"_WE'LL BE LIKE COUSINS!" both girls exclaimed as they turned to face each other and hugged._

"_As much as I don't approve of this, this is Sakura's choice and we can't make it for her," Kakashi said. _

"_Says you!" Shizune, Tsunade, and Naruto. Kankuro and Kiba just shrugged while Gaara just nodded. _

"_What?! Gaara, help me out here! Sakura-chan's gonna make a mistake!" Naruto said. _

"_Uzamaki, Naruto, I greatly in debt to you and regard you as a close friend, but I have no say in the matter as I am either close to Sakura, or Sakura. In fact, I tried to kill her," Gaara said. Turning to Sakura, he said, "Haruno-san, I am sorry for almost killing you and wish you well in any relationship you may have from now,". _

"_Umm thanks?" Sakura said, a bit surprised. _

"_Come to think of it, I only came here to get Gaara, and I barely know you, though you did save my life, umm yeah, thanks," Kankuro said as he and Gaara began walking to the door. _

"_Hey, leaving so soon? Kankuro, you up for a rematch from yesterday?" Kiba said. _

"_You're on dog boy. Are you still hurting from yesterday when I kicked your butt?" the puppeteer said. _

"_Actually, I think I was the one doing the butt-kicking yesterday," Kiba said. _

"_Did you hit your head yesterday or something, you walked off with your tail in between your legs!" Kankuro said. _

"_I think you spent too long in your room talking to your dolls, I won," _

"_They're not dolls! And who are you to talk, Rover?" _

"_If you aren't going to help us convince Sakura, GET OUT!" Tsunade screamed. _

_Kakashi instantly 'poofed' away. _

"_Darn Kakashi-sensei, I knew he'd be no help!" Naruto said as the other three boys walked out the door._

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"_I told you all I know is that Akatsuki is trying to get money and the tailed-beasts to reach their ultimate goal, but I don't know what that is, yeah…I'm guessing to rule the world? That seems about right, yeah" Deidara said. _

"_How do you know you're not lying?" the ANBU said. _

"_What do I have to gain from lying?" Deidara said, "I was never really loyal to Akatsuki, which is one of the reasons why they barely ever tell me anything, they would know that if I was captured, I'd talk like no one's business. Also, I'm a rather new member, I haven't been in Akatsuki long,". _

"_As much as I'd hate to admit it, the boy's right, we got some information, nothing we didn't already know, but what don't we already know? It's not like we need their favorite colors," another ANBU said as he lead Deidara to his prison cell. _

"_Go contact the Rock Village, it's not really our say what to do with him since, he is still considered a rock-nin and he has family there," the first ANBU said. Deidara sighed. _

"_So how long am I stuck here?" he asked. _

"_That is information I'd rather not give," the second ANBU said. _

"_Fine, fine," Deidara said as he settled down on the floor, staring at the carvings on the walls, thought of a certain pink-haired girl in his head. _

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_So the ending's a bit clichéd, sorry. _

_R&R?_


End file.

Naruto, Parody, Romance