One Tree Hill Last Kiss

**I needed to post this. I was really inspired.**

**Anyway, it's really depressing, so I'm warning you ahead of time. I hope you like it though :)**

* * *

**Life is cruel sometimes.**

It's like, once you have your life together, and you can't possibly be happier, something happens, and all that happiness just blows up in front of your face- mocking you. Reaching into your chest, squeezing your heart until the blood oozes out and it can't possibly beat any longer. Like someone just slams through your ribs, cracking them, one by one, and squishes the organ until it bursts like a water balloon. Then throws it on the ground, impaling it with their harsh stomps until there is nothing left but broken pieces.

At least that's what it feels like.

My heart used to be so full of love. My life revolved around love. It lived, and breathed for love.

It beat for my husband; my sole reason for why my heart beat out of my chest just thinking about him. It felt so warm, like I could feel the love radiating through my veins that my heart produced. I loved the feeling of my irregular heartbeat thumping through my ears, and thundering against my chest. Just looking at him ignited a lightning through every single fibre of my being.

And now…

When I think of his crystal blue eyes, I-

I can't breathe.

And not in the way that when I saw him, the breath escaped my lungs.

No, this is a different deprivation of oxygen.

I'm alive, yes, but I'm not living.

I can never live again.

Oxygen some how is absorbed into my body, making my heart perform its never ending job. I don't understand how it is still beating, because the source that held my heart is gone.

I still have his though. Maybe that's why my heart still lives. I will always have his, but mine died when he did.

He had my heart, and though he is gone, he will always have my heart. Always and forever.

I just assumed always and forever meant until we were old and grey. I didn't expect forever to end so quickly.

And now… now I'm standing here while the world continues to spin, and I'm lost in this.. pain, misery, madness.

How did this happen?

Why did this have to happen to us?

We were supposed to be forever.

What happened to always?

Why can't we have that?

"Hi." I finally managed to choke out through my endless sobs, as I stared at the marble stone in which he was now living under. I needed to stay strong, but I couldn't. I was tired of holding in my tears.

I felt my knees wobble, as I took a deep breath and collapsed onto the dry earth. It hasn't rained in a while. The earth thirsted for rain, as my lips begged for one last kiss. I could still feel the tingles of his soft, perfect lips against mine. He said it wouldn't be the last… he said he was coming home. He promised.

My knees hit the dirt as I looked up to the solemn sky and screamed.

My words were barely coherent, as I struggled to gasp for air. My hand grasped my chest as the hot tears poured out of my broken eyes.

"Y-you Prom-promised!" I screamed through the deafening sobs. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping this was all a nightmare and I wasn't actually here right now. I felt a small hand squeeze my shoulder and slowly opened my eyes as the tears flooded when my watery vision looked into his familiar blue eyes.

"Are you okay Momma?" He sniffled softly, and once again a knife ripped through my broken heart. I tried… I tried so hard to remain strong for my- no, our- kids.

I pursed my lips together, suppressing another sob, as I wrapped my arms around his tiny body. He had gotten so big. Nathan would have been so proud.

I didn't trust myself to speak, so I remained silent, as I gulped through the large brick residing in my throat.

"Hi Daddy." I heard his tiny voice whisper as he held onto me tightly. "Happy Father's Day."

That was it. That killed me. My heart sunk to my stomach, and I gasped for another breath of air. I could no longer breathe. I wanted to give up. So badly, I wished I could be buried with him. There were days I wanted to die. Every morning, waking up, I had to force myself to actually do something. I wanted to stay in bed all day and cry forever. I couldn't do that though. I knew he wouldn't want me to do that. He would want me to stay strong and take care of our beautiful children.

Oh how I wish he was here to see how beautiful they were. Jamie… our oldest son… he has grown so much. He's six now. Almost seven in a few weeks. His eyes are identical to Nathan's. Every time I look into them, I swear I'm looking back at Nathan. Of course he inherited his infamous smirk and his strong love for basketball. And Lydia… his baby girl… I'll never forget the smile on his face when I told him we were having a girl. God, he was so excited. She was wrapped around his finger the second he held her. Thank god he was home when I gave birth. I don't think I could have done it without him. As far as our youngest son, Jackson, is concerned… well Nathan never met him. He was, um, only two months old when I received the letter. The letter that changed my life forever. The letter that ruined my world.

Nathan was supposed to be home in a month. That's when he would meet Jackson for the first time, and he could not wait. We hadn't planned on getting pregnant again until after he was home for good, but when he stopped for a surprise visit for a few days, I could hardly control myself. That's when baby Jackson was conceived, and although unplanned, it was a true blessing. Unfortunately, Nathan was once again stationed overseas, and by the time I found out I was pregnant, he would not home until after I gave birth. So thank god for technology, because I was able to share the good news with him via Skype, and he… he was so happy. Every time I told him I was pregnant, his face would light up. The smiled on his face was indescribable. I know he was angry that he couldn't be there for me during the pregnancy and when I delivered Jackson, but I told him it wouldn't be the last baby we'd have. I wanted to have all of his babies. We were supposed to have more children, and now… now we can't.

And Jackson… he never met his father. I know one day he's going to ask me where is father is, and I'm… I'm going to have to tell him that while his Daddy was being a brave hero and fighting for our country, a very, horrible man, shot…. shot his father. Telling it once to Jamie and Lydia was hard enough. I don't know how I can ever possibly survive telling little, innocent Jackson.

My heart ached painfully as my mind reverted back to the day I received the letter that would almost kill me.

* * *

_I woke up slowly as my hand reached out to touch the cold sheets besides me. I suppressed a small groan. I was so lonely without my husband home to protect me, and lie beside me through the night… but I simply reminded myself that in three weeks and two days, he'd be home for good. He would officially fulfill his service in the Military, and would retire. He was Captain, and I was so proud of him. He had worked so hard to get where he was, and I know he hated being away from us, but I could tell he was proud of himself. No matter how hard I missed him, or how much I needed him to be home, I was proud of him too. He was my hero. I just couldn't wait for him to come home. He'd finally be home for good. He was officially retiring from the army. After ten long, hard years, he would no longer have to get stationed overseas. It was hard for us. Constantly, we'd have to move to a new state for his military base with other families, and while he was away I'd cry for his safety. Just not hearing from him for several days was enough to send me over the edge. I hated not knowing. I think that was the worst part. He was so far away for so long. Luckily, the longest time he was ever away from us was about a year. Yes, it was hard, but it could have been worse. Usually after a year, he'd be home for about five months, and I would cherish every single second with him. Sometimes, I'd be lucky and while he was away for seven months- his usual amount of time- he'd be able to come home for a week, but unfortunately leave again. I didn't care though, because as long as he was home, I was happy. Any time spent with him was amazing. The year Jamie was born, was the best year. We were stationed in a little town in Texas, and he had training for ten months, so he was home for most of the pregnancy, and was there the day I gave birth to our first son. We tried to plan it that way, and it worked out perfectly. When Jamie was three months, he was sent on a mission, God only knows where. Luckily the mission only lasted for about four months, and was home again for another four months. I was happier than I had ever been. My husband was home, and we had a beautiful son. I was able to fully enjoy life without worrying about Nathan. All I ever did was worry about him. It was tiring, and emotional. I can't even imagine how he felt while actually partaking in war. I know it was rough for me and the kids, but I know he would put a brave face on in front of us. He rarely talked about the things that happened overseas, but I know it hurt him. He lost many friends over the years, and I know he was afraid of what could happen, no matter what he told me._

_Each time he left, the goodbye's got harder and harder. Especially when we had Jamie. Nathan cried for hours before he was forced to leave. I know he promised he'd come home, but even he knew that those promises may not withhold. Luckily, over the past ten years, he had kept his promises and each time he came home, and each time I was more excited to see him. I love him so much. It sucks that he has to leave so much, and it sucks that I could lose him, but it's his job and I am so proud of him._

_We met when we were twenty. I was enrolled in the local North Carolina college, and working nights at a little cafe. He just began training for the army right outside town. One night I was working late in the cafe, and he walked in, wearing his uniform… Oh he was so sexy. My mouth literally dropped. I'm surprised I didn't start drooling. He smirked at me, and I was hooked. It was late and I was about to close up the cafe, but I didn't. I wanted to stay and talk to him. And so that's what happened. He came over to me, and flirted shamelessly- even if he denies it. We talked until three am. Then, like a true gentleman, he walked me to my car and I gave him my number. The next day he called me, and we went out on our first date. It was so romantic. He surprised me with a picnic in a little secluded spot on the beach. I joked that he was going to murder me, and he laughed saying it would be a crime to kill such a beautiful lady. I think that's when I fell in love with him. Maybe it was the way the moonlight illuminated his crystal blue eyes, or maybe it was the way his voice sent chills down my spine, but I somehow knew he was the one. Our love was so special, so rare. Just thinking about him gave me butterflies. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I loved Nathan Scott. He was the true light of my world. My sole reason for existing._

_The love of my life._

_My soul mate._

_My best friend._

_So that spot on the beach became our little spot. We went there often, and a year later he proposed in the exact same spot. The place where we went on our first date, shared our first kiss (in the rain, of course), said I love you, and where he proposed. I of course said yes, and we wanted to tie the knot as soon as we could. So while he was sent overseas, I planned the wedding. After being away for seven months- the first time ever being away from him, in which I was a complete wreck- two days after he came home, we tied the knot on the beach. It was everything I could ever want. Our families and friends surrounded us, on a warm beautiful day as we declared our love for eachother. I knew it would be hard to be away from him for so long, but it would be worth it. I loved him with all of my heart. Fortunately, we got to spend about eight months together to enjoy our marriage. For the honeymoon, we went to Hawaii, and it was nothing short of amazing. I never wanted to leave. I knew once we went back home we'd have to move since he was being relocated, and we moved to Oklahoma. It was rough not knowing anyone, but I had Nathan and that's all that mattered. _

_A few months after moving, he got a call for duty in Afghanistan, and we were separated for almost ten months. I don't know how I did it. Luckily, I had the support from other military wives, and we got through it together. Everyday I'd wake up worried sick about my husband. Luckily, as the years went by, the pain lessened, because I knew he'd keep his promise of coming home. Every time he was to come home, I would wait in the airport for hours. The second I saw him step off the plane, I dropped everything and ran to him. He'd pick me up, spin me around, and we'd kiss hungrily. That was my favorite part. The coming home. We'd kiss for what felt like hours. I would never let go of him. I couldn't. I didn't want to. _

_When he was home, we decided to start our family… just in case. Right before he left for another mission, we hardly left the bedroom. Four months later, he came home, noticed my slightly rounded stomach and cried tears of joy. We were having our first baby, and things could not have been more perfect. I was glad he was there to witness the birth of our first child. I always heard horror stories that the husbands never made it home for their child's birth, but not Nathan. No, we planned it accordingly, and he was there for Jamie's birth. We were so excited._

_Three years later, Nathan was home for a few more months, and we found out we were having another baby. Once again, we felt so blessed. He was home for half of the pregnancy, but unfortunately he was sent away for eight months, and missed the birth of Lydia Bob Scott. He was devastated. So was I, but I understood the circumstances. I justed wanted him to come home safely. I sent him a picture of her, and he could not wait to meet his beautiful baby girl. When he came home a few months later, I brought her with me to the airport, and the second he saw her for the first time, he cried. Nathan didn't cry much, but when he did, you know it was a big deal. He held her for the first time, and I don't think I can even explain the look on his face. The best analogy I can make is that he looked at her as if she was a dream. That, if he let go of her, she would disappear into thin air. He never went to sleep that night. He simply held her in his arms until dawn. He studied every little aspect of her. She was truly beautiful. He claimed she looked like me, but she had features of him too. She had my nose, and eyes, but had his charming smile. For three months, we got to be a family. Until he was once again, ripped away from me, and I was left to take care of our children. The only thing that kept me going, was waiting to open the door and have him back in my arms. Each day, I counted the seconds until I could see him again. I knew I would. In the back of my mind, I always worried about him, what could happen, and if I'd actually see him again, but every time we video chatted, or emailed, or sent letters, the hope in me was stronger than any doubt I had. I knew he would come home._

_Just like he'd come home in three weeks and two days. I knew it. Every day he'd send me an email telling me how he couldn't wait to see us, and finally meet Jackson. The love for him never waned, and I knew no matter what, I would always be worried for him. But in three weeks, and two days, I could finally breathe again. We could be a family forever. So that morning, I woke up, and immediately clicked on my computer, eagerly awaiting to read his email. He hadn't sent one in three days, but I knew sometimes he'd be really busy. I know he tried his best to contact me in hopes of lessening my worry, but I knew some days it would be impossible. I sighed sadly when there was no new mail. So instead, I decided to open up the last email he sent me from three days ago. I almost had it memorized by now._

"_Baby,_

_Words can not possibly describe how excited I am to see your beautiful face. I miss you more and more as each second passes. I hope you and the kids are doing well. Please tell them I say hi, and I miss them and love them, too. I can not wait to meet Jackson. I saw the new pictures you sent me of him, and gosh, baby, he's beautiful. My heart is pounding so hard right now. I can't wait to come home. I'll be home before you know it. I promise you Hales. I'm going to be home for good, and we can finally live life normally. I know these past years have been hard on us, but thank you so much for always being here for me. I love you more than words can ever begin to describe. Everyday I am so thankful for such a beautiful wife and family. I miss you and the kids so much. How did Jamie's basketball game go? I wish I was there. I know I'll be able to go to every single game when I'm home. We can do so much together. I'm going to cook for you, and clean, and take care of the kids. I can't wait to kiss you every night before bed, and wake up holding you. Most importantly, I can't wait to have more babies with you. We make pretty great kids. I'm going to join the PTA, and go to every single one of Lydia's concerts, and Jamie's basketball games, and Jackson's spelling bee's- I know he's going to be smart like you babe ;) We are finally going to be able to do things as a family. You won't have to worry about me anymore, because I'm always going to be with you, always and forever. _

_I'll see you soon beautiful. Don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine. We are all going to be fine. I will try to call you sometime this week. I can't wait to hear your sexy voice. I love you so much. Tell Jamie, Lydia, and Jackson I love them. Please give them kisses for me. I can't wait to kiss you. I think about you every second. I love you. I love you. I love you. _

_All of my love, (always and forever)_

_Nathan._

_xoxoxoxox_

_P.S THREE WEEKS AND FIVE DAYS! :)"_

_I sighed silently as I wipe the small tear glistening down my cheek. I couldn't wait to tell him I loved him in person. I couldn't wait to have him home for good._

_I proceeded with my morning as I normally would. I got Jamie ready for kindergarten, and Lydia, who was now three, ready for pre-school. I let Jackson sleep a bit longer as I prepared breakfast for the kids. While in the middle of making a batch of pancakes, I heard a loud knock on the door._

_Glancing quickly at the clock which read 8:23, I figured it was probably one of the neighbors asking to carpool for school, and so I didn't even hesitate to answer the door. When I opened the door I was met with a stern faced man dressed in all black. He was holding a manila envelope._

_I was a military wife for ten years. I knew what it meant, I just figured they had it all wrong._

"_Can I um… can I help you sir?" I asked in a voice that did not sound like my own. Suddenly my mouth became dehydrated and a cold sweat flushed over my body._

"_Are you Mrs. Scott?" He asked solemnly._

_I nodded in response as my grip on the door knob tightened- I'm surprised it did not break._

"_I'm sorry." He added as he slowly pushed the envelope in front of my face, but I refused to accept it._

"_No." I choked out. It couldn't be. Not Nathan. No. He promised. This wasn't happening. I blinked roughly, hoping the man would disappear, but he didn't. No._

_This couldn't be happening._

_But it was._

_I inhaled a shaky breath and my teeth sunk sharply into my lower lip. A large lump grew in my throat as I felt it covering the entrance to my throat. I could not breathe._

_I saw the man frown and place a comforting hand on my forearm._

_I shook my head forcefully. "Go away." I whispered through my tears._

_He nodded softly and placed the large envelope into my hands. My eyes squeezed closed as I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I needed to throw up. I slammed the door, sinking to the floor and stared up to the ceiling._

"_God, please don't let this be Nathan." I cried silently to the sky, and choked out a loud sob. My hands gripped tightly to my hair and I struggled to inhale oxygen. I didn't want to breathe. I couldn't breathe. I do not know how I even managed to stay alive._

_With reluctance, I finally tore open the envelope and closed my eyes once again. I was not prepared to read the first sentence of this excruciating letter. _

"_Dear Mrs. H, Scott,_

_We are deeply sorry to inform you that your husband, Nathan R. Scott has been killed in active duty-"_

_No._

_I couldn't finish the sentence. It hurt too much._

_I didn't want to know anything else._

"_No! No! No! No! No!" _

"_God, no!" I screamed into the open air as my head fell back against the door, crumpling the piece of paper into a ball and chucking it across the floor. _

_I could not think._

_My body felt limp as I further collapsed onto the floor, rolled up into a tight ball and screamed murderously. _

"_Why? Why?" I scream to no one in particular. I started slamming my fists against the floor, and choked on air. I was shaking furiously and all I needed was to feel my husband's strong arms wrap around me and comfort me._

_I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest. It hurt. It hurt so badly._

_I thought I would die right there._

_Oh god._

_The kids._

_How was I going to tell the kids._

_Jackson._

_He never even met his father._

_Oh god._

_I didn't think it was possible but I cried harder, to the point where I threw up. _

_I didn't care that I was lying in a pile of vomit. I didn't care about anything. The world was cruel. _

_Life sucked._

_I wanted to die._

_I simply could not go on without him._

_How- oh, god… how was I going to survive without him?_

_And just when I didn't think it could get worse, Jamie and Lydia ran down the stairs and found me huddled up into a ball crying uncontrollably._

_I gasped for air and cried for them. Cried at the fact they were never going to see their father again._

_I didn't have to tell them, because they already knew. The look on my face said it all._

_They stood there, in the entryway, holding onto each other as I simply could not move. _

"_Mom?" Jamie asked shyly, once I finally stopped choking. "Mom. what happened?"_

_I blinked as I stared blankly into his fierce blue eyes. The same blue eyes that resembled his father's. The eyes I would never be able to see again. Once again, a tsunami of pain collided through my soul, and poured out of my eyes._

_Jamie ran over to me and squeezed his tiny arms around my body, in which Lydia soon followed suit. _

"_Are you okay, Mommy?" She asked quietly._

_I could not tell them. How could I say this? It was going to kill them to. I don't think I could even explain the truth because once I tell them, it would make it more real._

_I couldn't talk. _

_After what felt like eternity, after crying every tear that could possibly be cried, I took a shaky breath and looked down at my wedding band. I could not look at their faces when I told them._

"_Y-Your da-..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. I could not… I couldn't breathe._

"_He- he's… I'm so sorry." I choked out as I once again took another shaky breath._

"_Mommy?" Lydia asked again. I knew she was confused. She was too young. God, we were all too young for this to happen. Why? Why did this have to happen?_

"_He… he's…" I struggled to form a word. I felt another sob creeping up through my throat._

"_G-gone." I whisper, and felt Jamie collapse into my lap, and Lydia let out a blood curdling cry._

"_Daddy's dead?" She cried, and I could not bring myself to look at her. All I could manage was a nod of my head, as the three of us huddled together and cried for all that was lost. _

* * *

And now, here we were, almost eight months later, the first Father's Day the children have, without their father here. Sometimes he was home for Father's Day, but not always. Last year he was in Iraq, but still, he was alive. The children still had their father. But today, today was different. Nathan will always be here with them, but he would never be able to come home.

As I sat there with my children surrounding me, my life with Nathan flashed before my eyes.

Our first kiss, the time he told me he loved me, our wedding, the smile he had when I walked down the aisle…

The smile he boasted when Jamie was born.

When he saw Lydia for the first time…

When he found out I was pregnant with Jackson…

But for some reason, the same memory replayed in my mind. I don't know why, but it did. I'll never forget it.

Our last kiss:

* * *

_I should be used to this by now but I wasn't._

"_Hey, baby, look at me." Nathan whispered lowly into my ear, as I squeezed my arms around his lower waist._

"_This is the last time we have to do this, and then when I come home I'll be here forever, okay?" He said with a large smile stretched over his perfect face._

"_I love you so much Haley James." He added as he placed a soft kiss on my nose._

_I giggled through my tears, and looked longingly into his piercing blue eyes._

"_It's Scott. You know that." I added with a small smile._

"_You got that right, Hales. That's the way it'll be forever. Haley James, Scott." He stated proudly._

"_I love you so much baby." I cried into his uniform as he soothingly ran his hands over my back._

"_I promise you, I'm going to be home before you know it. Okay? I promise. I always keep my promises, you know that." He smirked._

"_You better." I laugh, as he wiped my tears away with his thumb._

"_You're beautiful." He said softly, making my smile widen and butterflies dance wildly through my stomach._

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too."He whispered softly, leaning down, and capturing my lips feverishly with his. I ran my fingertips through his crew cut, and smiled softly when I felt his tongue push through my lips and tangle with my own tongue. For a second, I actually felt like I was in my own little world with my husband and he wasn't seconds away from leaving for war._

_Unfortunately, Lydia grabbed onto his legs, and we were forced to pull away. Nathan looked down and chuckled through his watery eyes, "Hey Princess. I'll be home soon, okay?"_

"_Promise, Daddy?"_

_He smiled and picked her up into his strong arms. "Promise."_

"_I love you Daddy. You're my hero." She cried into his shoulder, and I exhaled shakily as I tried my best not to cry._

"_I love you too Lydia. More than you'll ever know. I gotta go now, but be good for Mommy and Jamie, okay? He's the man of the house when I'm gone." He advised with a small smirk as he leaned down and fist bumped with our son._

"_I love you Dad! Come home soon." Jamie said looking into his father's mirroring eyes._

"_I will bud. Take care of our girls, okay? I love you. Group hug." He ordered as we all huddled together and he kissed my forehead. "I'm going to miss you guys so much."_

"_Me too." I cried as I looked into his eyes._

"_Hales, don't cry. I told you. This isn't goodbye."_

_I nodded through my tears and pulled him closely to my body as I enveloped his soft lips with mine and kissed him passionately. I never wanted to stop. I could kiss his lips all damn day if I could._

"_Just in case something happens to me, I want you to know how happy you have made me-"_

"_Nathan don't say that. You just said you were coming home." I cried harder._

"_I know baby, I know, but just incase. I love you. I want you to be happy-"  
_"_You know you're the only person who will ever make me happy. You have my heart baby. Always and forever." I whispered with closed eyes._

"_Good." He smiled and squeezed my hand softly. "Take care of the kids. I love you."_

"_I love you too. Call me as soon as you can." I ordered._

_He chuckled, "Got it, boss." Nathan winked softly, and my heart fluttered. _

"_One more kiss?" I beg as I hear the announcement for last call._

_He smirked, "If you say so." One last time, he leaned down and the familiar spark lit between our lips and exploded through our bodies. reluctantly, I pulled away, and untangled my arms from around his neck. _

_I couldn't say anything for the fear of sobbing, and so I just let my eyes do the communicating. _

_He smiled lovingly as he ruffled Jamie's hair, and kissed Lydia one more on the cheek._

"_We love you!" They called out, and I saw a small tear slip through the corner of his eye._

"_I love you too. See you soon."_

* * *

That was the last time I saw him.

In some ways he kept his promise. They found his body, and so they shipped it here, and we had a proper burial. He came home. Just not physically. I knew he'd always be with us. I knew that, I just wanted more. I wanted to hold him. To kiss him. To feel his breath on my lips, and his heart beat in time with mine.

"We miss you Daddy.." Jamie said softly as I let a tear slip down my cheek, and drop onto the dry earth.

"I love you Daddy." Lydia added as she pressed a soft kiss against the tombstone.

I turned softly to Jackson who was smiling in his stroller. I smiled through my tears and slowly got up to bring him closer to the grave.

I held a picture of Nathan in his army apparel in front of his face, and swallowed a lump in my throat. "That's your Daddy, baby. He loved you so much. I know you never met him, but he really wanted to meet you. He loves you, and he's watching over you every second, okay buddy?"

Jackson only gurgled contently as I placed a soft kiss on his baby fat cheek.

"Happy Father's Day, Nathan." I whisper softly into the air, and I know he heard me. The wind picked up, and small goosebumps raised over my tanned skin.

I smiled softly as I lifted one of his old shirts that I wore, to my nose and inhaled deeply. It still had his scent and a calmness washed through my veins.

Jamie cried sadly as he leaned down and placed small purple flowers onto the grave.

"You're the best Dad." He whispered softly, and I wiped the tears from my eyes when I felt a small drop of water hit the top of my hand.

I looked up and realized that the skies had opened up, and like my eyes, started to pour.

I couldn't help but smile softly.

I knew that was Nathan's way of telling us he was okay, and he loved us.

"Always and forever." I whisper to the sky and smiled through my tears.

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered

For just us to know

You told me you loved me

So why did you go away?

Away

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement

I ran off the plane

That July 9th

The beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you're showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I'm not much for dancing

But for you I did

Because I love your handshake, meeting my father

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something

There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

Hope it's nice where you are

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss

Forever the name on my lips

Forever the name on my lips

Just like our last...

* * *

I'm a hypocrite because I literally HATE fanfics when Nathan or Haley dies, but for some reason, I really wanted to write this. I was feeling inspired and wanted to write tragedy, but don't worry...I promise some time this week I'm going to post two new one-shots. One will be about Lydia going on a date and Nathan freaking out, and the other one is going to be a surprise but I've been working on it for a while and I can't wait to post it! Actually, I've been working on A TON of new stories (even though I really need to finish my other ones)

So, I hope you liked it! Let me know :) Thanks for reading!


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One Tree Hill, Family, Hurt-Comfort