Naruto 1. Fuck My Life

**A new story from yours truly. Don't own Naruto.**

"**Finally!"** a 15 year old boy yells from the privacy of his lab. He stands proudly over a super computer of his own design, the Mark 19.

"It's perfect" he runs his fingertips over the screen. The computer flickers to life, a program already open.

"My dream can finally come to fruition" he smiles fully.

"Please input command" a monotone female voice intones from the speakers.

"Bring up Program Nar.13". The screen buzzes for a second before a long string of algebraic equations begins to run across it. The excitement coming from the teenage genius is palpable in the atmosphere.

"Master", the computer calls. "Activation of this program will cause a large rip in the fabric of time; you will not be able to return to your own plane of existence".

"This is of no consequence to me. This is the only fond memory I've shared with this world" the boy says with a frown.

"Activate program" he commands.

The computer is silent for a moment. **"Activating."**

**Darkness. Pure and terrifying darkness.**

"Wake up Isamu-kun" a gentle voice whispers next to me.

Groggily, I open my eyes. My mother and father sit at the front of our wagon, my father steering us down a path and towards our new village.

"We're almost to Konoha!" my father smiles. I'm excited, Konoha has some of the most renowned ninja in the world.

"Mom! Can I join The Academy when we get there?" I ask hopefully. My mother and father exchange glances.

"Sure, you can grow up to be great warriors like we were" my father ruffles my hair, much to my disdain.

"Whoo-hoo!" I whoop.

"Careful honey, this road looks battered" my mother warns dad. She's right, the road is littered with holes and our wagon shakes heavily on the road. One of our wheels gives a sickening groan before cracking.

"Damn!" my father curses. He halts our oxen before jumping out of the cart to check on the wheel. He runs an eye over it before sighing. "Our wheel can't take anymore strain. I think we should-THUNK! My father begins to cough up blood.

"DAD!" I scream. He turns ever so slightly and I see the chain scythe buried in my father's spine. Blood splatters his chin as he silently mouths a final goodbye to me before collapsing. His gasps for air soon turn to choked gurgles as he slowly drowns in his own blood.

"What do we have here?" I voice laughs from a nearby tree line.

"Three very unlucky travelers" another voice calls back. Six men emerge from the trees wearing the rag tag armor of bandits. One looks at the now still form of my father.

" Well…two unlucky travelers" he kicks my father's body. My mother is as still as a statue and I grip my knife tightly. They casually saunter over to our crippled wagon with now urgency in the least bit. Their leader pulls his scythe from my father's back and wipes the blood off on his pant leg. "Who's this?" he eyes me curiously.

"A kid? Maybe we should take him…train him to be an honorable bandit like us" he smiles evilly.

"How about it kid?" he extends his hand. I smirk,

" Not a chance in Hell". In a final act of defiance I throw my knife at the leader. Years of training and sheer luck guide my knife straight and true. My knife imbeds itself in the man's eye socket. Blood flows freely as the man remains standing for a few moments before crumpling backwards next to my father. No one moves, too stunned at the death of their leader.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT!" one finally cries out. As a whole, they charge forward and fear grips my heart. My mother cries out and I wheel around just in time to see my mother get run through with a sword.

"MOM!" I roar. They laugh cruelly as my mother, my last living blood relative, topples off of the wagon and crumples into the dirt. Her blood pools at the side of the road, like a crimson spider web. One knocks me down next to her and they all stand over me, horrible smiles on their faces.

"We're going to make this nice and slow for you. An eye for an eye" one bandit hisses through his yellow and black teeth. Another brings his sword across my chest, cutting it deep and making spots of black dance in my vision. I clench my jaw, trying not to give them the satisfaction of hearing me howl in agony. A meaty hand hauls me up by the split skin of my cut.

"Don't worry; I'll make him suffer beyond his darkest night terrors" the bandit smiles. He throws me back into the dirt before stomping a boot onto my chest, pinning me. I hear a blade being drawn from its sheath. Cold steel is pressed to my forehead just of my eyebrow. He applies pressure and the blade bite into my skin. The blade slides down slowly over my eyebrow on a path towards me eye. A sick revelation hits me like a forty ton rock.

" MY EYE! HE'S GOING TO CUT OUT MY FUCKING EYE!" I struggle like a caged animal under the man's foot and earn a boot to the face for my troubles. Semi-conscious, the blade reaches my eye. As the first cut opens I finally roar in sheer agony I never thought possible. My eye makes a sickening popping sound as my cornea is split like a grape. They slowly bisect it, reveling in a disgusting glee at my tortured screams and pleas for mercy. Finally, almost mercifully, the man makes a quick slash with his blade. They cackle like a pack of hyenas at my horror and unrelenting pain. I'm currently praying to every God and Saint I can remember when help actually arrives, not in the form of angels but Konoha ninja.

"SHIT!" the knife wielder screeches. A silver haired man hits him with a crackling blue palm and my remaining eye widens when I see his hand jutting from the other side. Another ninja armed with trench knives jumps in the others and rip them into meaty chunks. In a matter of seconds the killers of my parents and the architects of my agony are dead and bleeding on the ground.

"Kakashi, we need to get this kid to the hospital!" Trench Knives says urgently. The one called Kakashi scoops me up effortlessly and sprints in the direction of Konoha. Darkness greets me once again.

The sanitary smell of antiseptic hangs in the air of my room. I've been in this room for almost a month, slowly regaining my strength. My hand traces the bandages on my face and chest. The doctors called me lucky, I didn't lose my eye. The ninja who carried me away placed a seal on my eye, one he'd been perfecting for a decade. My eye was healed but my face was still heavily scared, from my eyebrow to parallel with my nose a scar runs down. A doctor steps into the room.

" Hey there Isamu" he smiles. I smile back at the man who saved my life.

"Good news, you've been cleared for discharge!"

My smile falters.

" Where will I live?" The doctor knows my parents are dead.

"They purchased a house before they left…The Hokage has decreed you will live there" he grips my hand.

"Has he spoken of my request?" I ask. The doctor nods," You will start at The Academy tomorrow".

"May I see the house?" He nods before helping me out of bed.

"You'll find a change of clothes in the bathroom" he gestures to a room at my right. He leaves to give me privacy. I enter the bathroom and step up to the mirror to unravel my bandages. The clothes are nice, a white tee shirt, a pair of red cargo shorts that reach past my knees, and a pair of steel toed ninja boots. My bandages fall away and I wince at the scar on my chest. Oddly enough I like the one on my face; it gives me a look of danger. I step into the shower and allow the water to wash over my head.

"The Academy" I whisper. I run through the seals of the justu that my parents taught me. They are few…but powerful.

"Phoenix Flower, Water Dragon, Wind Blossom, and Lightning Sidewinder" I whisper to myself. I'm in the shower too long and the water soon turns cold. I shiver and step out. The towel warms me up and I slip into the clothes. My hands pat over the pockets and I feel a couple of lumps. Curious, I pull them out and a lump forms in my throat. My father's ring and my mother's necklace lie in my palm. A long black ribbon ties up a note that I unfold.

"Isamu: Found these in the wagon. Thought you would want them. Your friend Kakashi" the note reads. Tears well in my eyes as I slide the onyx ring onto my index finger and it fits like it was crafted just for me. My mother's necklace is simple, just a sapphire entwined in a strip of leather. I tighten in on my neck and inspect the ribbon. The kanji for 'hope' is sewn on the end and I slip it under my shaggy black hair. I stare into the mirror, black hair, grass green eyes, and a long scar…A knock on the door startles me out of my thoughts.

"Isamu, we've got someone here to show you to your house" the doctor calls from the other side of the door. I open the door and spot a girl with purple hair. "This is Anko Mitarashi" the doctor introduces her. "Isamu Shimizu" I extend my hand.

"Wow…she's cute" I think to myself as she shakes my hand. The doctor wishes me luck before he shoo's us out the door with a smile. It's great to be out; Konoha really is a beautiful village.

"So what brings your family here?" Anko asks me. I wince visibly and her forehead creases in confusion.

"My family was…killed by bandits a month ago" I sigh. She stops walking and gapes at me.

"That's where the scar…Kami I'm sorry!" she grips my shoulder.

"It's alright…I came to terms with it" I smile reassuringly at her. She opens her mouth to say something but a drunk cuts her off.

"Outta my way Snake Bitch" he snarls. Anko drops her head and steps aside.

"What the fuck did you just call her you limp-dicked fucker?!" I growl at him. The man turns with an angry look.

"What's it to you? That's all she it! The Snake's Whore!"

"Take about three steps closer and say that" I taunt him.

"You really want to fight?" the man smirks. My answer comes not in words but in a roundhouse kick to his mouth that knocks out a majority of his teeth. His blood splatters on my toes and the man falls to the ground. Anko stands with a look of complete shock.

"Wha-Why?" she sputters.

"I have a very low tolerance for asshats like him" I smile.

"Asshats?" Anko asks.

"Yes…asshats…." I say with absolution.

"What's with your eye" she points.

My expression say, " Da fuck you talkin' bout woman?"

"Your pupil…it changed into a kanji but I didn't see what it said".

"Cool!" I grin like an idiot. The drunk begins to stir on the ground and we decide to leave.

"Snake Bitch, huh? " I stop her. Anko's mood drop is obvious.

"You know Orochimaru?" she asks hesitantly. "One of the sannin, left Konoha, has a thing for little kids…yeah I know him" I tell her.

"I used to be his apprentice" she hangs her head.

"And?" I smile. Her head flies up so fast that she almost uppercuts me.

"You…don't hate me?" she says with a disbelieving look in her eyes.

"Nope, you were his apprentice, so the fuck what?" I smile brightly. Tears begin to drip down her face and I pull her close.

"What's wrong?" I ask with an edge of worry.

"Y-you're the first person to say that to me" she sniffles. I feel my heart tug for the sobbing girl and I pull her tighter. Knowing this isn't the place for a breakdown she leads me to my house. As soon as we step inside, her composure crumbles and the dam breaks with years of unshed tears coming out in a torrent. We sit on my new couch and I let her have this moment that she so desperately needs. After about twenty minutes of solid crying I hear a snort. I crane my neck and find Anko asleep on my chest. I gently slide out from under her and lay her down, covering her with a blanket. She snores and I plop down next to her.

**Sleep says," Hello."**

**There you have it, the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed it bro's.**


	2. Shitty First Day

**New Chapter. Anko has replaced Shika age-wise, just letting you guys know. I don't own Naruto.**

"Ugh…" I groan as my demon alarm clock wails in my ear and I smash it into oblivion. In a flash I eat, shower, and dress before heading out the door and to my first day in The Academy. I'm in the median between excited and absolutely terrified at the thought of my first day…I'm really not good with people. Making sure my headband is secure, I begin my short journey to The Academy. A weapon shop comes up on my left and I step inside to pick up my tools.

"Welcome!" a cute brunette with hair buns greets me.

"Hi, I need a kunai holster and a full weapon pouch if that's not too much trouble" I smile. She nods and ducks under the counter. "Here you go!" she puts the objects in my hand and I reach for my wallet.

"On the house" she winks.

"I love Konoha!" I grin stupidly. She giggles and I wave goodbye. Konoha's streets are bustling with happy shoppers and merchants hocking their wares and I find myself unconsciously smiling…well until I hear.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE DEMON BASTARD!". An obviously terrified blonde rockets past me, pursued by no less than twelve men armed to the teeth with bats, pans, and knives.

"Great…now I'm going to be late" I sigh before hustling after the mob. I spot them a few blocks down the streets, the blonde is cornered in an alley with a look of sheer terror etched on his face like a mask. As one advances, a tear leaks from the corner of his eye.

"What did I do?" the blonde asks desperately.

"You were born" the man spits.

"Not this shit again!" I roll my eyes. The blonde makes eye contact with me and pleads with his eyes. Nodding slowly, I creep towards the mob. When the obvious leader of the men begins a long and semi-coherent cuss filled rant about demons and foxes I jump over them and grasp the blonde's wrist before body flickering away with the mob still completely engrossed in the man's still barely understandable babble of dialogue. We arrive at eh entrance to The Academy and I let go of his wrist.

"Man, I thought I was done for" the blonde grimaces.

"What'd you do to piss em' off **that **bad?".

His head droops and he utters out," I don't know…they do this every day".

"What's your name?" I extend my hand.

"Naruto…Naruto Uzumaki" he shakes.

"I'm Isamu Shimizu" I introduce myself," Last of the Pure Water Clan" I bow exaggeratedly.

"Looks like you're my second friend in the village" I pat him on the shoulder.

"F-friend?" he stutters.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" He just smiles and shakes his head.

"Then let's head inside, Naruto Uzumaki" I gesture to the door.

"After you Isamu Shimizu" he grins…like a fox oddly enough. We jog in to find that we're right on time.

"Naruto? You're not late!? Well my fortune cookie did say "Expect the unexpected" the teacher teases.

"Funny, Iruka-sensei" Naruto sticks out his tongue. Iruka's eyes find me and he drags me to the front of the room.

"Everybody, we have a new student today. Would you please introduce yourself?" Iruka asks.

I step forward and clear my throat," My name is Isamu and it's great to be in Konoha. I eagerly look forward to training with the most renowned ninja in the world "I smile. My eyes scan the crowd, a blonde, a chunky kid eating chips, a kid brooding in the back, an indigo haired girl eyeing Naruto shyly, and a pinkette catch my eye. I spot Anko in the corner and give her a wave. She smiles widely and waves back. Iruka allows me to choose my seat and I sit next to Naruto and Anko. I introduce the two and they smile shyly at each other.

"Ahh…young love" I smile inwardly.

I hear whispering around me and I lean forward a little and catch a snippet of conversation," He's so HOT!" the blonde whispers to the pinkette and I blush like a tomato. I laugh softly and Iruka tells us that we're heading outside and that we should partner up.

"New kid! You're with me" the brooder calls to me.

"And you are?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Sasuke Uchiha" he smirks.

"Well then Mr. Uchiha, let's do this". The ghost of a smile crosses his features.

"Hey Anko why don't you train with Naruto?" she nods and drags him off by the wrist. When we get outside Iruka asks for volunteers and Sasuke and I immediately raise our hands.

"Let's see what you've got" the raven smirks. I stifle a yawn.

"HAJIME!" Iruka yells.

Sasuke leaps back and goes through seals. "FIRE STYLE: GRAND FIREBALL JUSTU!" he roars before blowing a ball of fire my way. I casually sidestep and laugh as the fireball shoots past me and into the trees. My own hands are a blur.

"LIGHTNING STYLE: LIGHTINING SIDEWINDER" I hold my palm to the sky. Thunder rumbles deeply in the sky before a lightning bolt slams into my palm and uses it as a conduit. With no difficulty, I move the chakra into my index finger.

"Bah-bye" I let the lightning streak towards him.

"SASUKE!" the pink haired girl yells.

A millimeter from his chest I yell," Release!". The lighting dissipates and the bolt is replaced by my foot. I twist on his collar bone and swing my other foot around and connect with his jaw and it groans sickeningly before he flies into a tree at record speeds.

"And the winner is Isam-" he's cut off by a large roar.

"NO!" Sasuke pulls himself out of the tree and oozes bloodlust. He clutches two kunai and hurtles towards me, his eyes full of death and pain. His kunai sinks into my shoulder and Iruka screams at the apparent death of his new student. Me? I just smirk and turn into a log. I reappear in a plume of smoke twenty yards away from Sasuke, staring at the blood crazed Uchiha. Iruka appears behind him and attempts to restrain him. Before he can, Sasuke bolts for me again.

"Alright, fuck this" I drop into a judo stance. When he throws a punch I ram a palm into his outstretched elbow joint, tearing his muscles and snapping his ligaments in a quick, precise jab. CRACK! His arm dangles at a ninety degree angle and he howls with agony. I wince," Fuck…why is there blood running down my back?" I crane my head and find a kunai buried deep in my shoulder. "Didn't…substitute…fast enough" I grunt out. Iruka and the rest of the class look terrified. Sasuke still writhes on the ground in agony and I yank the kunai out, earning myself a large squirt of blood in the process. I slide the kunai into my holster and sigh," Great fucking first day". Iruka rushes forward and clamps his hand down on my wound.

A masked man appears in a puff of smoke," What happened Iruka?!" the man gasps at my shitty state.

"Emu! Thank Kami. Sasuke attacked our new student! He needs medical attention."

"Nah…I'm good" I wave of the worry. "Got a canteen?" I ask Emu. He nods and hands me his. I unscrew the cap and poor it onto the wound and it washes away like it was never there.

"How?" Iruka asks in astonishment. "It's the bloodline of the Shimizu Clan, water can heal all of my smaller wounds and sometimes my more serious ones. I can't drown, I've mastered water walking, and I learn water justu like they're nothing" I explain to my impressed teacher.

"Quite the shinobi already?" he smiles before turning to Emu.

"Take the Uchih-"

"NO!" I cut him off. Everyone freezes and I step towards Sasuke and pull down his high collar. "Just like I thought…a seal" I relay to Emu.

"How are you so familiar with it?" Emu asks.

"It's…it's from Suna" I manage to get out through my tightly clenched jaw.

"What's your relationship with Suna?".

"**My clan is from Suna."**

**Another chapter down. R&R, Flame, Whatever. See you later bro's.**


	3. Naruto, Anko, and Ninja Farts

**Guess whose back? That'd be me. Don't own Naruto…but if I did…less clothing for the women and more badassness for Naruto.**

Sasuke is carted away by a pair of medic ninja to the hospital and Iruka dismisses the class for the day, too shaken to do much teaching. Naruto walks next to me, eyes wide at the display of killing intent from his classmate.

I take his shoulder and squeeze it," It's okay to be scared, it means you're human. Let me walk you home, Uzumaki" I let him lead me towards his apartment.

"Anko lives in the room across from my apartment, but I never had the courage to talk to her until today, Isamu" Naruto says. We walk in a comfortable silence until his apartment looms into view. Just the state of the decrepit building pisses me off.

"You're not living there Naruto. That's barely even habitable for criminals of the worst kind" I spit.

"It's the only place I can afford" he bows his head.

"Then live with me" I say suddenly.

"Wh-what? You would…let me live with you? You mean it?" he asks hopefully. Instead of an answer, I lead him to my home.

"There's a room across the hall you can stay in" I gesture to the room that was supposed to be mine. His eyes are full of unshed tears and I get the feeling nobody has ever shown him this level of kindness before. Wordlessly, he embraces me.

"Go check it out" I smile into his blonde mop of hair. I leave him to explore while I lay on the couch.

"Naptime" I yawn.

***Four Hours Later***

A large racket from the kitchen causes me to wake up. Pots and pans clang around and I smell the most delicious smells drifting into the living room.

"Naruto? What are you-" I stop and stare at the buffet he's made for us.

"You. Are. Amazing".

"I made too much" he frowns.

"Well we could invite Anko over." He nods and disappears in a puff of smoke. I hungrily eye the chicken strips. Unconsciously, I begin to drool. Naruto appears with Anko after a long five minutes and she eyes the feast exactly like I do.

"Dig in" Naruto chimes. In a heartbeat I down three chicken strips while Anko has already downed a bowl of beef stew. Naruto joins the fray and begins to slurp up ramen like a black hole. We annihilate the meal and leave no survivors. Naruto unzips his jacket and lets his stomach have some air, Anko burps, and I let out a ninja fart, silent but deadly.

"Naruto, why didn't you come back to the apartment?" Anko asks.

"Because I invited him to live here with me, and now I'm extending that invitation to you" I put my elbows on the table. She gasps before disappearing in swirls of leaves.

"Where did she go?" I ask Naruto.

"Probably to get her stuff like I did" he points out. Half an hour passes before she reappears, clutching a dozen sealing scrolls.

"What are those?" I poke on of them.

"You guys are about to have the best roommate ever!" she unseals the scrolls. Armor and weapons tumble onto the floor.

"Where did you get all this stuff!?" Naruto looks amazed.

"I made them" Anko smiles proudly.

"Take your pick guys, Naruto would you please get out of ….**that?"** she nods at his 'bulls eye' orange suit. I settle on a pair of steal bracers to protect my forearms, a shoulder plate, tight black pants, steel toed boots, and a red flak jacket. The jacket catches my eye, it resembles a jonin jacket but lacks pouches and the Konoha swirl is replaced by the kanji for 'predator'. Naruto slips into the same pants and boots but chooses a black undershirt, throwing a waist length white jacket over it. He straps a rather large knife on the small of his back and grabs a special kind of shuriken that explode on contact. After he pulls on some fingerless gloves, I grab a demon wind shuriken and clip it to my belt.

Unbeknownst to the two, Anko drools slightly," And now we have the two hottest ninja on the continent. Score another for Konoha" a chibi version of herself throws up a peace sign. She then tosses the both of us chakra weights," If we're going to graduate we might as well do it at the top of the class" she grins.

"Look put Konoha, when we graduate…we're gonna **dominate! Believe it!"** Naruto yells.

***A Great Four Months Later* **

As Anko said, we graduated at the top of the class. Sasuke made it back just in time to graduate and brood at the same time.

"Time for team placements everybody!" Iruka calls from the front of the class. When I call your names, please go meet your new sensei" Iruka instructs. "Team Seven, Isamu Shimizu, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sakura Haruno. Your sensei is Kakashi Hatake, please report to room 309." Naruto cheers while Sakura pouts, not being paired with Sasuke, her 'love'.

"Sasuke Uchiha, Ino Yamanaka, and Anko Mitarashi. Your sensei will be Asuma."

"Why do I have to be with The Snake's Slut?" he groans. Naruto wings a shuriken and grazes the Uchiha's cheek. Naruto's eyes flare crimson and I'm guessing my eye is doing its kanji thing, judging by the way people are staring.

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL HER THAT!" we roar in perfect unison. Sasuke's eyes widen in fear and he sits down quickly.

Iruka snickers at the front of the room," So protective" he smiles. After we calm down, Iruka tells us to meet our sensei. Iruka hugs Naruto and shakes my hand," I'm so proud of you guys." Sakura waits impatiently for us to finish our moment.

"Let's go" I tug on Naruto's shoulder. He nods and we step into the hallway. We find room 309 with no difficulties, but when we step in…nobody is fucking there.

"He's….late" I frown.

"Want to prank him?" Naruto asks.

"Does the Pope's toilet love holy craps?" Naruto and I grin and wait….an hour passes when we hear footsteps down the hall.

"Remember Isamu, just like the scroll said" Naruto winks.

"NOW!" I yell.

"HAREM JUTSU!" we yell. When our sensei steps in he finds himself surrounded by fifty naked and curvy women, half blonde and half raven. His one eye widens and he screams like a school girl before a jet of blood rips through his mask and he crashes onto the floor.

"Ow..., he's going to feel that in the morning. Silence…then I snicker and then Naruto snickers. Soon it turns into hysterical 'holy shit I think I'm going to die' rib aching and stomach cramping laughter.

**"I hate you" our sensei mutters.**

**Another one down for you guys.**


	4. Ow

**Ands I be back. Don't own Naruto. **

"Get to the roof while I get a new mask" the jonin grumbles from the ground. Naruto and I recover enough to hobble up the stairs, a very livid Sakura in tow.

"That was so stupid you two!" she snarls. A quick shot of my kanji shuts her ass right the fuck up. We plop down on the roof and look at Konoha's skyline.

"Did you ever have a view like this in Suna?" Naruto asks.

I shake my head," Usually if you stayed in one place too long…you'd probably get murdered and robbed by some low-life thug who has to feed his family, or get drunk, or even just for shits and giggles." My words have no time to sink in before our sensei appears in front of us. I snicker at the obvious lumps of tissue under his mask.

"So this is my team? How's the eye, Isamu?" Kakashi drawls.

"Perfect…thanks to you Kakashi-sama" I bow my head. Kakashi smiles with his eye.

"Alright everybody we're going to introduce ourselves, tell me your names, your likes, dislikes, and your dreams for the future. My name is Kakashi Hatake; I like my 'novels', my dogs, and my Chidori. My dislikes are none of your concern and as for my dream….I guess I don't have one."

"Your turn Blondie" he points to Naruto. Naruto grumbles about 'porn reading Cyclopes'.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki; I like ramen, pranks, and kicking ass! I dislike ducks, **(Sasuke ;D wink wink)** boring stuff, and vegetables" he smiles before coming to his grand finale. "AND MY DREAM IS TO BE HOKAGE!" he yells to the heavens, arms outstretched with a big goofy smile on his face. Kakashi smiles to himself.

"Your turn Pinky" he points to Sakura.

She shoots a glare that could melt diamonds. "My name is Sakura Haruno; I like Sasuke (Slut Blush), sweets, and reading. I dislike Naruto, Naruto, and Naruto" she glares. "My dream is to be Sakura Uchiha!" she squeals.

"That was….cold" he winces at Naruto's saddened face.

"And finally we come to you Red."

"My name is Isamu Shimizu; I like Naruto, Konoha, and water. I dislike traitors, ice cream, and spiders….my biggest dislike though is people who decide that they can judge others without even getting to fucking know them. I mean what kind of shit is that? They base the way they treat them on the clothes they wear, how they look, or how much people dislike them. Do they know jack shit about their pasts? NO, they just sit back and let themselves be blinded by what they think is love but is actually just a sick infatuation with a person who appears to be mysterious and strong but is really just a giant frozen douchebag that gets a hard on for power. These people can't see that the person who can actually mean everything to them is sitting. Right. The fuck. In front of them! They just decide to be rude and snobbish, uncaring to the fact that their insults and rejections cut deeper than any fucking knife ever could. **AND MY GODDAMN DREAM IS TO BE JONIN COMMANDER TO OUR NEXT HOKAGE! NARUTO MOTHERFUCKING UZUMAKI!"** I leap to my feet and shout. Dead silence.

Sakura looks ashamed, Naruto's got the biggest smile on his face, and Kakashi's eye is wide.

"I retract my previous statement…I like you guys!" Kakashi laughs. He stands to leave," Training tomorrow at 6:30. Don't eat breakfast, you'll just puke it up." He vanishes. Naruto makes his way back down, not making eye contact with Sakura.

"I'm sorry Isamu" she grabs my arm. I pull my arm away," Maybe I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

***5:20 Fucking A.M.***

My alarm clock that I've named 'Sakura' shrieks me into groggy consciousness.

"Didn't I break you?" I rub my eyes. "Why 6:30? Why?" I groan. I walk into the kitchen to make food. Naruto slides out of his room, careful not to wake Anko. Bacon and eggs finds themselves in the microwave and I toast some bread for Naruto.

"Still sad?" I ask over my shoulder.

All I get is a simple nod.

"Hey man, don't worry. She'll realize how stupid she is, it's only a matter of time." He nods again before munching on toast. We leave for the training field at six. Not five fucking steps out the door a mob halts us.

"Finally decided to come out, huh?" a skinny, leather clad man smiles.

"And you are? I yawn.

"Fujimu Sakamoto, Demon Hunter!" the man strikes an overly disturbing pose.

"Who?" I ask and he visibly deflates.

"I'm here to kill that nine-tailed demon behind you." He takes a step forward, the only step he takes before my Demon Wind Shuriken slices him in half before imbedding itself in a wall behind the mob.

**"Nobody. Touches. Him." **I hiss. The mob freezes, terrified of the fifteen year old standing in front of them. I casually stride forward, stepping over the bisected body, and wrenching my shuriken out of the wall.

"Let me make one thing infinitely clear to you motherfuckers. You hurt my home, Naruto, or Anko and you answer to **ME**. And believe me when I say this. You really don't want that house call" I growl.

For once in their pitiful existences they heed the warning and quickly disperse. I nod to Naruto and we poof to the training field. Sakura sits against a tree while Kakashi reads his porn.

"Finally" Sakura huffs.

"Sorry…we had a little…problem" Kakashi notes the fresh blood on my shuriken and sighs.

"Another mob came for me" Naruto clenches his fists.

"I'll make sure we round the bastards up" Kakashi says. Trying to lighten the mood I say," Let's do this". Everyone nods and Kakashi produces two bells.

"Get these from me before noon and you pass. If you don't…then it's straight back to The Academy" he drops into a combat stance.

"Naruto, Sakura…let's go." "**Shadow Clone Jutsu**" Naruto shouts. At least twenty duplicates poof into existence and charge the surprised jonin.

"You're the best analyzer on this squad, Sakura. Stick close and spot weaknesses for us" I tell her.

She scoots closer," Kakashi is completely focused on Naruto right now making him an easy target" she whispers into my ear. A quick set of seals produces on of my family's justu, one that hasn't been seen in Suna for over two hundred years.

"**Shimizu: Cyclone Wave!**" A large jet of water erupts from the lake and wraps around me. "Go help Naruto". She leaps away to help the blonde. "Watch me mom and dad…this one is for you." The water begins to rage around me, bucking and swirling, flattening the grass in a wide circle. "**Shimizu: Cyclone Wave Javelin!**"

The water straightens out, still raging like a hurricane but in the basic shape of a spear. I point to the bells on Kakashi's belt and the water understands. It rockets away so fast that I'm pretty sure it broke the sound barrier. Sakura and Naruto are still doing a great job distracting Kakashi while my missile hurtles towards him. He glances sideways for a split second and his eye widens before he leaps into the air, but not before my javelin rips a bell free.

Naruto scoops it up and presses it into Sakura's hand. She tries to give it back but he presses it firmly back. He goes back to harassing Kakashi with exploding shuriken. Kakashi manages to land a roundhouse on Naruto's chest that sends him smashing into a tree, making him cough up blood. Kakashi whips his arm back to throw a kunai when a shuriken does its job a little too well, knocking our teacher's aim out of whack and sending a kunai straight towards a defenseless Sakura.

**THWACK!**

Blood squirts from an open chest wound…but not from Sakura…..Naruto lies on the ground, gasping for air and making his chest make sick sucking sounds. The blade is buried up to the hilt in his sternum. Kakashi's eye shoots open in horror.

"NARUTO!" I scream before rushing to his side. He coughs, sending blood onto his chin. "Water! I NEED WATER!" I yell to Kakashi. A canteen finds its way into my hand and I coat Naruto with it. "Please look away, this is one of my family's most guarded justu" I beg. They nod quickly and turn. "**Shimizu: Water Agony Jutsu**" I whisper. I cry out as pain explodes in my chest like high-grade explosive tags. A ghostly kunai protrudes from my sternum as Naruto's slowly begins to fade before disappearing. I fall backwards, wheezing.

"How did you…" Sakura trails off. "Very…very special justu" I grunt.

"Is Naruto okay?" I ask.

"Raaaaaammmmeeeennnn" he moans. I can't help but roll my eyes

. "Yeah…he's fine" I deadpan.

Sakura looks beside herself," Why would he take that kunai?! All I've ever been is horrible to him" she sobs.

"**The Roots of Love dig much deeper than the Roots of Hate."**

**Done. See you later bro's. **


	5. C-Rank

**Brand spankin new chapter for you today. Don't own Naruto. **

Kakashi kindly drags us back to our house and deposits us in or respective rooms. Naruto still calls out for ramen and I just lay on my back_._

_ "Each time that jutsu is used the user inherits the damage, to his or her own peril"_ my mother's teachings come flooding back to me. _"It requires almost all available chakra and should only be used in the direst of circumstances."_

I groan at the pain in my chest," Worth it" I smile.

"I'm hooooome!" Anko calls from the door.

"In here." She slides the door open and peaks in.

"What happened to you?" she walks over with a worried look.

"Kunai, blood, forbidden jutsu…you know, the usual" I laugh slightly. Anko demands I tell her everything. She's completely silent before pounding me on the back of my head.

"IDIOT! You could have died!" she yells.

"Yeah…but I didn't." She starts to argue but I stop her.

"I'd do it again and I'd do it for you." Defeated, she sighs and wraps me into a hug before leaving to check on Naruto. I sit in silence for a few more minutes before the inevitable happens…I get bored.

"Isamu! Kakashi's here!" Anko yells from the kitchen.

I roll out of bed to greet my sensei," 'Sup Kakashi?"

"We've got a C-rank" he smiles.

Before I know it Naruto's by my side," A C-RANK?! WHOO HOO!" he cheers before collapsing.

I pinch the bridge of my nose," Idiot" I laugh quietly.

"Get some rest, we leave at noon tomorrow" Kakashi winks before disappearing. Another knock at the door keeps me from walking away. I open the door to reveal a pink haired kunoichi.

"Sakura" I nod. "Is Naruto okay? I wanted to take him to Ichiraku's for saving me."

"Well he's-" Naruto cuts me off by rocketing out the door, dragging Sakura behind him.

"-gonna cost you a fortune" I finish. Anko stomps past me with a moody face.

"Are you o-"

"NO I'M NOT OKAY!" she screams. " CAN'T THAT BLONDE JACKASS SEE THAT I LIKE HIM MORE THAN THAT FUCKING PINK HAIRED HOWLER MONKEY?!" she rages like a category seven tornado.

I retreat to my room, my bunker, and come out armed to the teeth with chocolate and tissues, ready to do battle with the raging estrogen monster currently destroying the kitchen. I adjust my armor, ready to accept the fate of being torn limb from limb. Instead of a pot being thrown at my face I'm greeted with silence…well except for the not so hidden sniffles coming from across the table. I gently touch her shoulders, letting her know I'm here.

"Sshhh, he's an idiot, we know that. It'll be fine" I whisper into her ear. Her sobs hiccup slightly. "He'll come around, I swear…just be there for him when he needs it. Tell him how you really feel."

It's healing time. I drag her to the couch and force her to watch day-time television until she calms down. After a particularly scandalous episode of Springer, Anko and I begin to laugh hysterically at the poor man who just found out he's the father of seven different kids from seven different women. Sometimes it's the pain of others that fixes the pains we have. Sorry bro….

***One Horrible Date Later***

Not surprisingly, Naruto is back in under an hour.

"How was it?" I ask.

"Horrible" he grimaces. "All she talked about was Sasgay and how awesome he is" he grumbles. "Are there no girls out there that like me?" he sighs.

I hear a frying pan smash a window.

"Yep. Anko likes you" I say in a bored tone.

He snorts," Anko? She's too good for me."

Another pan, another window.

"Go ask her yourself…do it quick, we're running out of windows" I point to the kitchen. Instead of sprinting in like a madman, he takes small but confident strides, hope glimmering in his eyes. He walks into the kitchen and I don't hear anything else.

"Please don't let her have killed him…I really don't want to clean that up." More eerie silence. With the stealth of a ninja, lol, I creep towards the kitchen. Naruto and Anko are nowhere in sight. A wet, squishing sound draws my attention to the other side of our counter; I peek my head over and shriek.

Anko straddles Naruto, doing things I've only seen in magazines I should probably burn. I teeter on my heels before crashing to the floor, blood jetting from my nose. After a few minutes the floor turns into my bed after Naruto drags me out of the kitchen.

"Get some sleep. Anko-hime and I won't be" he winks. **I puke in my mouth a little.**

***Next Morning***

My alarm clock rings and I melt it with a fireball. A shower loosens the knots in my back; I make sure to scrub the dried blood off my face.

"Nightmares" I whimper to my soap. I strap on my gear and meet Naruto in the kitchen.

"Ready?" I ask him.

"Yeah, see you later Anko-hime" he kisses her goodbye. We walk in silence to the village gate and I notice him walking with a limp.

"I don't want to know" I shudder. Kakashi waits for us along with Sakura and Sasuke.

"What's Mr. Smiles doing here?" I ask Kakashi. "He and the council demanded that he be on this mission.

"You need my skills" he smirks.

"I need your 'skills' like I need herpes" I brush his arrogant ass off.

"Want me to show you how an Uchiha kicks ass?" he snarls.

"You couldn't last time" I point out.

"That seal-"

"Increases chakra reserves, reflexes, and strength" I finish for him. "It was an assassination seal, that's what they do."

Sasuke's anger boils over and he wings a kunai at me. With a large smile I catch it between my fingers. "Pathetic." He looks on the verge of throwing another one when we're interrupted.

"This is my escort?" an older pudgy man mumbles.

"We're the best genin team in the village, present company excluded" I gesture to Sasuke.

"We've got to get a move on, this is going to be quite the journey" Kakashi says, hoping to defuse Sasuke.

"Wait a second…I know you" I point to the man. "You're the bridge builder, Tazuna" I bow. "My parents always admired your work, maybe you remember them? Taro and Kaede Shimizu?" I ask.

"You must be Isamu!" he ruffles my hair. "Where are those two?" he smiles.

"They…they were killed by bandits on the way to the village" I put my head down.

Tazuna bows his head in respect," I'm sorry, I'll mourn them when I arrive home."

I put a hand on his shoulder.

"**Then let's move."**

**Wave Arc is next…major plot changes incoming. R&R, flame, whatever….seriously….just fucking review…please? See you later bro's. **


	6. Zabuza

**New chapter for all you readers out there. Thanks to Plum who told me about how abysmal my story format it. Thanks man. Don't own Naruto.**

We walk in a very relaxed silence for a strong two hours when Kakashi and I spot a puddle.

"That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen" I curse in my mind. "It hasn't rained in a month and it's 90 fucking degrees out!"

Kakashi nods and I slowly slip out a kunai and an explosive tag from my pocket before wrapping the tag along the hilt. We pass it nonchalantly. When I step past I drop the kunai, the tag's fuse lit. Before it detonates, a pair of hands grabs it and chucks it into the woods. Two figures step out both wearing gasmasks and wielding wicked looking clawed gauntlets.

"Ahh, the Demon Mist Brothers".

"Honored to kill you Copycat" one brother wheezes through his mask. My Demon Wind lops off his head before he can say another word. The other cries out before lunging at the nearest target, Sasuke. Naruto's on him before he can sink his claws into the Uchiha, driving his long knife up the man's ribcage.

"Find peace" he whispers in the man's ear. The brother crumples, his blood pooling next to his brother.

"What the Hell you old bastard?!" Sasuke curses.

"This was supposed to be C-Rank" Naruto says a little angry.

"Guys, the Land of Wave is one of the poorest and poverty stricken places in the world" I interject. "His village could probably only afford a C-Rank, that bridge is probably the country's last chance to survive. I recommend we stay on mission.

"He's right…ever since this bastard Gato moved his operation into Wave….we've suffered horribly" Tazuna lowers his head. Most of us nod…except for Sasuke.

"Problem, Sasuke?" Naruto asks.

"This is ridiculous! Who cares about Wave?"

"BASTARD! It figures that an Uchiha would be this selfish" Tazuna spits.

"Sasuke, shut the fuck up, turn around, and walk down that fucking path before I break a kunai off into your spinal column" I bristle at the Uchiha's uncaring nature.

"C'mon, Sakura! You're with me right?" Sasuke sputters. She simply shakes her head before stepping over and standing next to Naruto and I.

"You're nothing but a coward. I knew the Uchiha were selfish…but I didn't know they were cowards as well. I have no clue what I saw in you".

Sasuke fumes before untying his headband and throwing it at Kakashi's chest.

"Let's see if Gato needs an Uchiha" he snarls before disappearing.

"Piece of shit! I'll kill him!" I crush his headband.

"I'll report his defection when we return, **after** the mission" Kakashi sighs.

"How much farther to your house, Tazuna?" I ask.

"At least one more days travel."

***Thirteen Hours Later***

"Sshh" Naruto halts us. He draws a kunai and throws it into a bush.

Before we can attack, a rabbit stumbles out.

"Naruto! You hit a bunny!" she cries and cuddles the poor creature to her chest.

Naruto isn't convinced," What's with its fur? It's spring" he observes the white fur of the bunny carefully.

"DUCK!" Kakashi yells.

"Sasuke's back?" I quip before diving under a very, very, very large sword.

It thwacks into a tree and imbeds itself, its wielder lands on the handle.

"Zabuza Momochi, Demon of the Hidden Mist" Kakashi hauls himself up.

"Kakashi Hatake, huh? The Man of One-Thousand Justu. And who are these little vermin?" he points to us.

He sends a huge wave of KI hurtling at us but only Sakura flinches, Naruto and I are stones.

"We don't frighten so easily" I sniff.

Three shuriken embed themselves in the water clone in front of us. No sooner than it dissipates, a disturbingly thick fog covers the area. "The heart, the neck, the kidneys, the spine. Where should I hit first?"

"How about the ankle?" I smile while sticking my foot out.

Zabuza's ankle catches my foot and he face plants onto soggy dirt," How did you know?"

I shrug and watch Naruto grab something from his backpack," Isamu! Heads up" he tosses the object.

"What is it?" it looks like a sword hilt.

"Anko made it for you! Hit the fucking button!" Naruto yells urgently, as he sees Zabuza charge.

I press the trigger and a three-foot blade pops up from the hilt. **(A/N Exactly like the sword from Dishonored)**

"Cool" Zabuza brings his meat cleaver down for a slash at my stomach.

I pull up my own sword and deflect the blow off to the side. Zabuza and I engage in a duel, the sparks from our blades are the only indicator of our location in the impossibly thick fog.

Zabuza swings for my legs and I jump over the blade, landing and sinking into the mud. He takes advantage and shoulders me into the ground.

I begin to sink into the soil and Zabuza pins me with his sword on mine," You're finished, kid", he grunts, noting the sweat dropping down my face and the heavy shaking of my arms.

His sword presses closer and closer, almost at my throat.

"Zabuza" I wheeze.

"What? Last words?"

I nod and he leans in closer, putting his ear to my lips.

"Gotcha" I grin before my water clone melts.

The real me lunges from a tree, blade pointed down and poised to run him through.

"Brilliant" I hear Kakashi whisper.

My blade hits home with a sickening thump and liquid hits my face; I already know it's not blood.

Zabuza melts into water," Fuck."

The real man stands in the middle of the lake," Clever child."

"Your turn" I nod at Naruto.

His face splits into a grin and he summons three shadow clones," I'm gonna need some demon wind action from you, Isamu."

I smile and fling the large windmill at Zabuza," **Shadow Shuriken Jutsu**!" Naruto cries.

The single windmill turns into over a dozen, all at different locations and angles.

Zabuza's eyes widen and he yelps, diving under the water to dodge one that almost scalps him.

"Little shits!" he bobs to the surface with a gasp.

"I got this" Kakashi sprints onto the water, pulling his headband off of his eye.

He and Zabuza engage in a jutsu duel on the surface, Kakashi always seeming to be one step ahead of the Demon Swordsmen.

"How? Can your eye see the future?!"

"YES! And your future it DEATH!" Kakashi roars and calls forward a water dragon.

The strong jutsu closes in on Zabuza and slams into his chest and sends him careening into a tree thirty yards away.

"Bastard" he coughs.

Kakashi steps up to him with a kunai, ready to deliver the death blow.

**THWACK!  
THWACK!  
THWACK!**

Three senbon needles imbed themselves into Zabuza's neck and the legendary swordsmen collapses onto the ground.

"Thank you. I've been tracking him for a week" a young voice says from a tree.

A ninja in a mask appears next to Zabuza's corpse and lifts him onto her shoulder before disappearing.

"That wasn't a hunter" Naruto observes.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asks.

"Hunter ninja are supposed to destroy the body of a missing shinobi on sight to cover any information his or her corpse could have given to an enemy country."

"Dammit" Kakashi groans before face-palming.

** "We'll be seeing him soon." **

**Hope you liked. R&R, Flame, Whatever. See you later bro's.**


	7. Flowers and Brats

**Hey guys got a new chapter for you today. I don't own Naruto.**

We end up dragging our sensei to Tazuna's house, which is a mercifully short journey.

"Tsunami, I'm home!" he calls into the house.

A very attractive young woman steps into the room and hugs Tazuna tightly," I'm so happy you're back!"

She notices the exhausted state of Kakashi and directs us to a room down the hall.

"Make yourselves at home; dinner will be ready in about two hours."

We unceremoniously toss Kakashi onto the bed and step back into the living room.

"Ready to train you guys?" Naruto and Sakura nod and we set off for the forest next to the house. The forest floor empties into a large open field, perfect for any kind of training.

"First things first, Naruto, add forty pounds to your weights", I pull another weight from my pocket and toss it to Sakura.

"Add twenty pounds."

"How much are you guys at?" she asks.

Naruto and I grin," Around four-hundred pounds"

Her jaw drops and we laugh," By the way, I got you guys something" I root around in my pocket and produce three different rings.

One with a Sakura blossom painted onto the onyx stone, one with the Uzumaki swirl, and the final with the Shimizu crest. The Shimizu crest being a large typhoon swirl.

"Got these for us" Sakura's band is silver, Naruto's is gold, and mine is black.

Both of them tear up a little" How much did these cost?"

"About one-hundred and eighty D-Ranks"

They fit perfectly.

"They store extra chakra and mark us a team" I explain when they see the tiny marks on the outside right by the jewel.

Everyone is so caught up in the moment that they don't notice the masked ninja watching them closely from a nearby tree.

I sense a chakra signal, barely there and obviously being suppressed," Ah, the Hunter!" I call to the tree.

Leaves rustle quietly, announcing the ninja's departure.

"We're going to have to train harder to beat you."

***Two Hours Later*'**

"Ow" I groan, stumbling into the house.

Naruto lingers behind me, carting an exhausted Sakura on his back.

"FFFFOOOODDDD!" we moan together.

Tsunami sweatdrops and leads us into the dining room, Tazuna and Kakashi are already seated and are sipping on some sake.

The sun is dipping below the horizon, bathing us in its orange light.

Tsunami begins to place food on the table when the door slides open, revealing a young boy.

"Inari! Welcome home" Tazuna stands and hugs his grandson. Inari just eyes us with a look of reproach.

"Who are these guys?"

"We're ninja from Konoha, here to help save your village" Sakura smiles.

The kid snorts," Save us? Gato's just gonna massacre you all." Tazuna and Tsunami stiffen.

"And what makes you say that?" I ask calmly.

"He'll kill you just like he killed my dad, crucifying you before lopping off your head in front of the entire village."

"And this attitude will help?"

His face hardens, "You're talking to me about my attitude? What do you know about pain**? NOTHING! You ninja gave no idea what pain is!**" he roars.

"Don't know about pain?" I whisper quietly, dragging my nails across the table and gouging it deeply.

I can feel my eye shift into its kanji form," I watched both of my parents get slaughtered in front of me, a scythe in the back for my dad and a word through the gut for my mom."

I trace the scar on my face and the one on my chest," The bandits that killed them tortured me, dissected my eye and cut my chest three inches down the bone. I don't know about pain?"

Before Kakashi can grab me, I have the boy pinned to the wall with my fist bunching his shirt.

"NARUTO DIDN'T EVEN HAVE PARENTS! HE'S SHUNNED BY HIS OWN FUCKING VILLAGE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE GODDAMN MEANING OF PAIN YOU PATHETIC LITTLE SHIT! WE'VE KNOWN PAIN THAT WOULD DESTROY THE MINDS OF LESSER MEN AND WOMEN!" I roar and slam him into the dry wall before pulling him closer.

"We're not going to be guests at your fucking pity party. Man up and help or stay the fuck out of our way" I snarl.

He drops and sprints to his room, sobbing in fear.

One tear rolls down my face and I leave without another word.

Wandering through woods is actually quite peaceful.

I stumble across a beautiful field of red poppies, the blossoms waving gently in the night air almost like they're inviting me in.

I wade into the middle of the field and lie down. Silver moonlight coats the poppies, making them glow with a supernatural beauty.

The moon is on full display tonight, surrounded by stars. I spot two that glow brighter than the others.

"That you mom and dad?"

Almost in response, the stars brighten and flash for a moment.

"What should I do?"

A poppy blossom drifts over my head, followed by another, and another.

I decide to follow them. The blooms leading me through a winding path deep into the forest. They land, making a trail for me to follow.

It ends in a clearing, a book lying in the center. The wind howls around me.

I pick the book up, running my thumb over the dusty leather cover. A title appears under the dirt, it's simply titled **'Life'.**

Only one single page has any writing on it," Compassion can be a warrior's greatest weapon."

I flip through the book, hoping for more wisdom but only find more blank pages..

The two stars twinkle again, "I love you mom and dad."

My eyelids grow heavy and I fall asleep in the clearing.

**The Next Morning**

Someone nudges me awake.

"You'll catch cold out here," a gentle voice laughs.

I crack an eye open and a beautiful girl leans into my field of vision.

"You again?" I yawn.

Her eyebrows scrunch together in deep confusion, the cuteness is devastating.

"Don't play dumb, you're the Hunter. You can't hide your chakra signature."

Her eyes widen in shock and fear, she tries to back away but I snag her wrist.

"No need to worry. We're not enemies at the moment" I smile reassuringly.

"My name's Isamu" I extend my hand.

"Haku" she shakes.

"How's Zabuza doing?"

"He's recovering, you're quite the ninja."

"My bloodline helps significantly"

"You have a bloodline too?" she gasps.

"I'm the last living member of the Pure Water clan of Suna. I have enhanced chakra control, can't drown, and I have a few…special justu."

Haku is silent for moment before blurting out," He's going to attack the bridge."

"I figured. Gato isn't about to let Wave slip through his stubby fingers. Why do you even work for scum like that?"

She shrugs sadly," If I had any say, we wouldn't."

"Join us" I say simply.

"What?"

"You heard me. Konoha knows the importance of having a new bloodline and one of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist. I guarantee they'll accept you."

She thinks for a few minutes before grabbing my wrist," Come with me."

I don't fight when we shushin deep into the forest, appearing in front of a house suspended by large wires.

Haku leads me up some stairs and into a room. Zabuza sits on the edge of the bed, an incredulous look plastered on his face.

"Haku? What is the meaning of this?" he tries to stand but grunts and falls onto the bed.

"Let me help" I step forward.

"Why would you help me?"

"Consider it an act of good faith" I grab a jug of water off of a nearby table and soak Zabuza's body.

"**Shimizu: Water Agony Jutsu"** I whisper.

Pain overrides my senses as bruises and small gashes appear on my body before fading back into my skin. My breathing soon turns into short, ragged gasps for air before strength finally returns to my body.

Zabuza's eyes go wide and if he had eyebrows, I'm sure they'd be raised.

He stands and grabs his sword, swinging it over his head with ease.

"I feel amazing!" he laughs before narrowing his eyes. "Why did you do this?"

"I want you to join Konoha" I wheeze, still dead tired.

"Please Zabuza!" Haku begs.

His face is unreadable and he places his hand on his chin.

"Sure" he grunts.

"HUH!?" I yell.

"Why not? I have no loyalties to Gato and besides…he already paid me" Zabuza's eyes glint.

"That was…easier than expected" I scratch the back of my head.

"Shall we depart?" Haku asks.

"**Wait till Kakashi sees this…"**

**Another Chapter down. R&R, flame, whatever. See you later bro's.**


	8. Bridge of Death

**New chapter for you guys. Expect some crazy shit. I don't own Naruto for Christ's sake.**

The walk to Tazuna's is actually…fun. Zabuza is, oddly enough, a pretty good story teller. Even if most of his stories revolve around murder and death.

"And I almost turned him inside out!" Zabuza finishes another story and we crack up with laughter at his tale of his fight with a bo-staff wielding bear.

"What happened to the cheese wheel?" I ask.

"I'll tell you when you're older" he winks.

We enter the village and the inhabitants shrink away at Zabuza and his massive sword. Tazuna's house lies in front of us in the town square.

I poke my head in the door," Hey! I brought guests!" I slide open the door and reveal Zabuza and Haku.

Kakashi shoots water out of his nose, Sakura passes out, and Naruto wings a shuriken, which I catch before it tears into Haku's jugular.

"Calm the fuck down guys! They're allies now" I hold up my hands reassuringly.

Zabuza and Haku step inside nervously," This is…awkward."

He suddenly stiffens and swats a cup out of Kakashi's hand," Poison!"

The liquid quickly burns through the carpet.

"Where the Hell did you get this!?" Kakashi turns to Sakura.

"From the shopkeeper, the one with the tattoos" she explains.

"Tattoos? The owner of that store is an 80 year old grandma" Tazuna says, a frown deep on his face.

"Looks like Gato's stepping up his plans"

"The bridge!" Naruto shouts.

"He's expecting our jonin to be dead… Tsunami, stay here. The rest of you arm up and move out!" Kakashi orders.

We're out of the door in twenty minutes, armed to the teeth.

***The Bridge: 30 Minutes Later***

We arrive at the bridge and Sakura slips in the slick blood that coats almost every inch of the structure. Almost all of the workers have been slaughtered, save one crane operator keeping a large force of bandits at bay.

A short and pudgy man with a cane watches the scene with malicious glee.

"Gato" Zabuza growls.

Sadly, the crane operator loses his battle when he's dragged out by a raven haired teenager.

"So that's where he went" I observe flatly, secretly waiting to rip his throat out.

Sasuke guts the poor man, pulling out his intestines like a rope.

"**Motherfucker!"** Naruto roars.

Sasuke's eyes are different. Red, with a tome in each.

"The Sharingan" Kakashi curses and uncovers his own eye.

The Uchiha turns and smirks, flitting away from the workers corpse and appearing before Sakura before we can react.

"Coward, huh?" he hisses.

Sakura begins to shake before stepping back and revealing the large knife Sasuke just rammed into her sternum.

"SAKURA!" I shout and rush forward to catch her before she topples.

She stands bravely before hocking a bloody loogie into the Uchiha's face and falls backwards, blood flying from her mouth.

I grab her before her head makes contact with the cement. With desperate pace, I yank off my canteen and try to soak her chest to perform the Water Agony but she stops me.

"No" she coughs, sending bloody spittle onto her chin.

"Sakura…"

I feel a pressure in my palm and find Sakura's ring pressed tightly into my hand.

"I'm sorry…I've screwed so much up, Naruto, chasing after that frozen prick. Please, just protect Naruto. Promise me" she wheezes.

"I promise…goddammit I promise" I clench her hand.

She smiles, coughs twice, makes her peace with Kami, and breathes her last.

Sakura Haruno, The Cherry Blossom of Konoha, is one with this world no longer.

**Numb. **

Numb to everything, except my fury.

My KI swirls madly, raging and rising.

Naruto and I scream wordlessly.

A chorus of agony that somehow conveys all of the loss, all of the pain, all of the tears.

Naruto's eyes flare crimson, his fingers contort into claws, and his canines grow into razor-sharp fangs.

He'd told me about Kyuubi a few months ago, but nothing prepares me for the raw killing intent that boils off of him.

Well nothing except my own power.

A heat courses through my eye and flames begin to lick at my socket.

The bandits, along with Sasuke, realize something. They've fucked up…and they've fucked up royally.

I gaze into a puddle and see my reflection. Fire covers the left side of my face, down to the cheekbone.

Like the center of a hurricane, my eye swirls and the kanji for fury is prominent in the center.

"Naruto…you can have Sasuke."

He's gone in a flash.

The bandit leaders grow a couple of pairs and charge me, swords raised.

"**Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" **I exhale several large fireballs that coat the bandits in an unholy and unquenchable flame. I stand and watch as the blaze burns through skin, then muscle, and finally leaving only stark and barren bones behind.

I unfold my sword and slowly stalk towards the cowering bandits.

Naruto has Sasuke pinned and he savages him. Claws rake across Sasuke's brand new eyes and they pop, making the Uchiha shriek in agony.

Naruto just laughs and drives his hand into Sasuke's stomach cavity, grasping his spine. A final scream erupts from Sasuke before his spinal column is wrenched from him, his skull coming with it.

It smiles at us.

"_**Fatality"**_ a disembodied voice calls from the sky.

He drops the gore and stands next to me," I'll take them."

I shake my head," They're mine" I pinch his neck and he crumples.

My sword throbs in my hands, begging to be soaked in blood.

I happily oblige.

I'm a hurricane to the untrained and useless bandits. Blood, organs, and severed limbs blur together.

All I see is red.

I butcher heartlessly, ignoring the screams of the dying around me.

Eventually, I run of bandits, all have been decimated under my blade. I stumble out of the mountain of corpses, covered head to toe in blood.

A piece of intestine dangles off of my shoulder and I casually brush it off, like one would some dust.

I pick up Naruto in one hand and Sakura's body in the other.

Behind me, I hear Tazuna whisper;" We'll call it 'The Great Sakura Bridge'".

Tears flood down my face as Zabuza appears in front of me, carrying a struggling Gato by the scruff of his neck.

I hand Sakura and Naruto to him.

Chakra focuses in my hand and I tear into the crime bosses's ribcage, opening it like a pair of cabinets.

His heart beats in front of my eyes and with a quick jerk, I yank it free, show it to him, then crush it into a mushy pulp.

"We won" Zabuza drops the corpse.

I look to the slaughtered workers, then to Sasuke and Sakura.

"**Did we?"**

**And done for the day. Hope you liked. R&R**, **Flame, Whatever. See you later bro's.**


	9. Home and Healing

**Brand new chappy. Yes...I killed Sasgay…I REGRET NOTHING! Don't own Naruto.**

Konoha looms into view.

"Team 7? Is that you?" a chunnin gate guard calls out.

Kakashi simply nods, cradling Sakura's body against his chest. The guard takes the body and disappears without a word.

"I'll go report to the council about the mission…and Sasuke's defection to Gato"

Naruto and I just nod, still trying to process the events that took place on our first mission.

We begin to walk into the village when Naruto is attacked from above.

I draw my sword and prepare an attack when I catch a flash of purple.

"Anko" I sigh, relieved that I don't have to kill anyone.

She pins Naruto in a sloppy kiss that makes me turn green. He smiles and eagerly returns the kiss with usual determination.

"I'm sorry about her" she cups his cheek and rubs his whisker marks.

Kakashi appears in front of us in a swirl of leaves wearing a look of utter disgust.

"What's up sensei?" I ask.

"The council has barred you from Sakura's funeral and wish to see the both of you in their chambers" he spits.

I clench my fists until my knuckles groan and crack before disappearing in a large plume of electrified water.

The council, the fat bastards that they are, sit and argue about pointless things when I appear in the middle of their table.

"Ah, the demon's brethren has graced us with his presence" an exceptionally ugly councilwoman sneers.

"So you've killed the last Uchiha and gotten a Haruno killed? We'll have you put to death" Homura says casually, a large grin on his face.

"Oh really?" I breathe.

My sword suddenly finds itself buried in Homura's throat.

"You will not touch us. If you do...I'll come back and slaughter every last god forsaken one of you. I'll torture you until you beg for the sweet release of death, I'll compose a symphony with the medley your agonized screams will make and when you finally can't take anymore…I'll heal you and start all over again. Do I make myself clear you old and decrepit pieces of goat shit?" I snarl.

For once in their pathetic lives, they choose the path of less pain and nod dumbly.

"Good" I disappear with my water shushin.

I scare the shit out of Naruto and Anko, who are currently in a heated battle of tongues.

"What happened with the council?" Kakashi asks.

"They backed down"

"You're joking"

I smile and close my sword.

"So what's next Kakashi?"

"I've entered you in the Chunnin Exams"

"Who's going to be our third?"

"Anko will placed on our squad, Haku and Zabuza will fill the hole on Ino's squad"

Anko squeals and gives Naruto a 'squeeze' but not a hug…if you catch my drift.

"I need to talk to you Kakashi" I lead him away from the frisky teenagers.

"What is it, Isamu?"

"When Naruto gets like that…I want to be able to help him. Is there any kind of seal that you can teach me?"

"Jiraiya taught me the Three Element Seal when I was announced as Naruto's sensei"

"Will you teach it to me?" I ask hopefully.

"On one condition"

"And that is?"

"I get to teach you another justu. **Chidori**"

***One Month Later***

Sakura's funeral goes by quickly.

Naruto and I watch and mourn from a nearby rooftop. After the ceremony and burial, we bury a Sakura tree sapling in the fresh dirt of her grave.

Both of us cry, leaning on each other and letting the sobs escape.

It's cleansing, getting the grief and pain out.

Naruto dries my face off and I do the same for him, our bond as friends growing stronger than ever.

***Six Days Later***

Kakashi works me like a dog. A 15k run in the morning, chakra control in the afternoon, and seal memorization at night until 10:30.

He's completely surprised by how quickly I learn seal for Naruto.

Chidori, on the other hand, is far more difficult. I'm so close; the lightning flickering in my palm is almost perfect.

"I'm impressed Isamu" Kakashi whistles at the chakra in my palm.

"With you control and reserves, you should be able to bust out at least three of these a day"

I wipe the sweat off my forehead and grin proudly," Will you train Naruto too? He deserves it after all"

"I'll begin his training today. Go rest, the exam is in a week."

Kakashi exits in his usual swirl of wind and leaves and I begin my walk home.

"Hey! Let go of me!" a young voice yells from an alley to my right.

"Shut up brat!"

A guy in a weird puppeteer outfit holds up the Hokage's grandson by the scarf on his neck.

"Kankuro knock it off!" a beautiful blonde yells at the teen.

The teenager responds by squeezing tighter.

My sword is at his throat in a millisecond," Put. Him. Down."

The little boy drops and runs behind me, terrified.

"Tell your friend to get down here"

The pair looked stunned at my sensory skills.

A red head appears in front of me in a swirl of sand.

I can sense a very familiar chakra coming from him and his sleep deprived eyes focus on me.

"A Jinchuuriki? Your seal is fucked up" I point out.

"How would you know?" he asks in an 'oh so pleasing' monotone.

"My best friend is a container himself" he doesn't notice the seals I make behind my back.

"**Three Element Seal!"** I ram my fingers into his stomach, eliciting a large jet of blood from his mouth.

"Gaara!" the blonde screams.

He collapses and the black around his eyes begins to fade.

"He'll be fine. His tailed demon is now fully sealed.

Gaara groans from the ground.

"Wakey wakey" I poke his face with a stick.

His eyes slowly open, revealing, now peaceful, orbs.

"G-Gaara" Kankuro stutters.

"Brother? What is this feeling? I don't…I don't want to kill. I don't hear mother anymore. She's…she's gone" he smiles, stretching his face in a way that tells me he's never done it before.

"Temari, help him up" the girl scoops her younger brother off the ground.

His eyes find me again and he asks the most basic question," Why?"

"Like I said, my best friend is a container himself. What kind of person would I be if I didn't help another?"

I notice the blonde looking me over, which I happily return.

"Temari, I'm calling it off."

The girl sighs in relief.

"Temari, huh? Beautiful name for a beautiful girl" I wink'.

"I'm Isamu Shimizu, last of the Pure Water Clan of Suna" I extend my hand and Gaara shakes it.

"Walk our friend home Temari" Gaara pushes her forward with his sand.

She watches her brothers leaves.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore" I nudge her shoulder.

"Afraid?" she asks.

"You can't silence the way your body speaks. The way you stand next to him shows how scared you are of him"

Her head drops slightly.

"Hey, I'll treat you to some food" I take her hand and lead her to my favorite restaurant, a little hole in the wall that serves nearly orgasmic chicken.

"Isamu-kun" the waitress greets me with a large smile.

"Hey Kairi-chan! Usual spot please" I smile back.

She nods happily and leads me to my usual table next to a window.

The view always gets me, a small cluster of trees runs alongside a small river.

Kairi hands Temari and I a couple of menus before leaving.

"Calling off what?" I ask firmly.

She visibly hesitates and I decide to back off.

"You don't have to tell me, but I've got the feeling you really want to."

Kairi comes and takes our orders.

"The usual for me and Temari, I highly recommend the chicken" I wink.

She nods and orders it.

"How much damage can you do with that?" I gesture at her battle fan.

"A lot" she strokes it fondly.

"What's that thing on your hip?" she points to my sword, currently folded into the hilt.

**SHING!**

"I didn't realize that was a sword"

"It's a very special design" I let her hold it.

"Killed anyone with it?" she asks.

"Around seventy bandits a few months ago" I sigh.

Her eyes widen in shock and I sigh harder.

"I didn't enjoy it… I know it's part of being a shinobi but…it was so fucked up. I don't enjoy slaughter like Gaara did"

"How did you know about Gaara?"

"I could see it in his eyes. The need to feel blood coat his sand, for bones to snap under his justu. I've seen that look before" I shudder and grimace when I remember the bandits.

"Do you…do you think you fixed Gaara?" she asks cautiously.

"Honest answer?"

She nods.

"**It's up to him if he wants to be fixed"**

**Another chapter down. R&R, flame, whatever. See you later bro's.**


	10. I'll Personally Gut You

**New chapter for my loyal fans out there. Thanks to war sage for being one of the few people to consistently review. I don't own Naruto.**

The slightly awkward silence is finally broken when Kairi brings our food and Temari digs in right away.

"This is amazing" she cries past the food in her mouth.

I laugh, happy to bring more business to the small place.

Two hours and four more plates pass until Temari and I are both finally satisfied.

"So how's Suna?"

"You're from Suna?" she asks.

"My family left, water users aren't exactly of high demand in that sandy ass-crack of a village"

"Shimizu…I've heard that somewhere" she puts a finger on her chin.

"We were the fuuinjutsu clan that was supposed to perform Gaara's sealing but the bastards on the council chose Chiyo to do it and she completely fucked that up. That council is the reason he became so damn bloodthirsty, the seal allowed Shukaku to torment him in his sleep as the link was stronger than average" I spit.

"My father will hear of this" she clenches her fist tightly.

"No offense…but he probably had a hand in it. Most countries turn their Jinchuurikis into living weapons" I grasp her shoulder comfortingly.

Angry tears threaten to spill out of her eyes and I delicately wipe them away," No tears, this is the time that strength is the most valuable and from what I can see you're one of the strongest women out there" I throw in my best smile, my teeth sparkling under a genjustu that I learned from some guy in green spandex.

Kairi arrives shortly and I pay the bill, ignoring the protests from Temari.

"It was worth it to have some time with you" I wink and she blushes heavily.

Temari and I step out into the sun and stretch, laughing when joints pop.

"It was good meeting you Temari-chan" I grin.

She doesn't miss the new suffix," You too…Isamu-kun"

I wink at her before disappearing in my electric water, the Hokage should know about Gaara's faulty seal.

His personal ANBU allow me entrance and I approach the village leader who's currently trying to console a still scared Konohamaru.

"There he is, Grandpa! That's the guy who saved me!"

The older and much wiser Sarutobi looks me over," What's your name?"

"Isamu Shimizu, sir" I bow low to show my respect.

"A Shimizu? I thought they were long dead"

"I am the last of my clan…my parents were killed as we entered Konoha" I mumble sadly.

"I'm truly sorry for what happened with your parents Isamu-kun and thank you for protecting my grandson. Kami knows what I'd do without him" Hiruzen ruffles Konohamaru's hair before sending the boy out the door.

"So what did you need to speak with me about?"

"Gaara of the Sand is the container of The One-Tailed Tanuki and his seal was quite faulty. After his brother accosted your grandson I noticed his sleep deprived eyes and felt the demon's chakra coming off of him in waves. I used the Three Element Seal to fix him and he should be on the path to becoming a normal teenager"

"Then you have completed an S-rank mission by protecting the village from a rampaging container" The Third drops a heavy money bag in my hands.

"Thank you very much my Hokage" I bow again before I scrunch my eyebrows together in thought.

"Hokage…I have a question. Who were Naruto's parents?"

The Third sighs and weight seems to be added to him," That is a very private village secret" his voice is laced with sadness.

"Sir, I believe he deserves to know that he's a Namikaze" I speak my mind.

His eyes bulge in alarm and he takes a step back," How did you know?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I point to a picture of the Fourth.

"How the fuck can people not see the similarities? Blonde hair, blue eyes, a dedication to this village that scares the living shit out of me. They're practically twins" I throw up my arms in exasperation.

"What should I do? Should I tell him…can he handle it?"

"Sir, Naruto is much more mature than he shows, he can handle this. I give you my word as a shinobi" I press.

The Hokage sinks into his chair and loses himself in deep thought.

He suddenly stands and unlocks a safe behind him, a single scroll lying in it.

The scroll shortly finds its way into my hands.

"Give this to him, it's his legacy scroll. I'll announce the news to the village at sunset" Sarutobi seems to stand straighter and he looks much less old, as though a burden on his soul has been lifted.

"You are a good person Isamu. Naruto is very lucky"

I bow again before smiling and disappearing.

Excitedly, I hustle home. I'm so eager to tell Naruto the good news.

"Fuck!" another mob has descended on our home; I summon a clone to get the Hokage and his ANBU here on the double.

I grit my teeth until they groan. At the very center a few men are kicking something.

A flash of purple and gold catch my attention and I summon my courage before diving into the mob.

I quickly dispatch the men holding my friends down and drag the bloody and unconscious pair into the house.

"Demon Lover!"

"Torch the house!"

A firebomb breaks through a window and explodes on the floor, quickly spreading flames everywhere.

As quickly as my chakra enhanced legs can carry me, I round up our few important possessions and stow them in a pair of bags. My clone must have dispelled as memories come flooding back to me. He will be here in seconds.'

I summon a Water Dragon to combat the flames that spread like a virus.

A support beam above me groans sickeningly. Four more bombs break over the house.

**CRACK!**

The beam snaps and falls towards the incapacitated pair.

"SHIT!" I dive over to them and catch the heavy oak crossbeam directly on my back, causing something deep inside to pop.

Paralyzed by the pain I scream as the flames lick my forearms.

"I- I've got to get us out!" I cough through the smoke.

With every ounce of willpower I possess, I grab the duo by their collars and drag them out of the house.

My hand closes around the knob and I throw the door open, fresh air rolls in and I gasp in it.

The mob is still there and a small group detaches, stalking towards us in glee.

"GET BACK! **GET THE FUCK BACK!"** I roar.

"**Water Style: Hurricane Gale!"** I make the one handed signs.

A personal hurricane forms around our bodies and pushes the crowd back.

"ANYBODY WHO CROSSES THIS LINE I WILL PERSONALLY FUCKING GUT!"

A kunai whizzes out of the crowd and connects with my shoulder, throwing me back and dispelling the justu.

The mob rushes us and a man stomps on my chest," How about a matching scar?" he grins evilly.

His blade descends and I wait for the bite of the cold steel on my eye.

**Thwack.**

Hot and salty blood coats my tongue and my eyes fly open, an ANBU in wolf mask has rammed his sword through the man's back.

"I need a medic!" he calls out.

Two other ANBU drag Naruto and Anko away while Wolf places me on his back.

The Hokage arrives in full battle armor, oozing a killer intent that almost makes me piss myself.

ANBU swiftly surround the mob.

"Take them to Ibiki!"

Hiruzen runs his hands up and down my back before stopping on the center of my pain and with a hard push my back pops loudly and I slump against Wolf.

"Fuck" I wheeze.

My skin burns and I wrench the kunai out of my shoulder.

My clothes are ruined, save the braces, boots, and shoulder plates.

"Don't worry Isamu; we'll be at the hospital in a few minutes" Wolf whispers, almost to himself.

I nod and lean into his back while he jumps from roof to roof.

When we arrive, Naruto and Anko are carted away while a nurse stiches my puncture wound and rubs ointment on my burns.

A doctor informs me that Naruto is awake but Anko is still in surgery for a burst appendix.

"Can I see him?" I ask.

The doctor nods and leads me to a room at the end of the hall.

Naruto is propped up on a pillow, bandages on most of his body. When I enter he has a solemn look on his face but when he sees me it becomes a painfully fake smile.

"Drop the mask"

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

"That smile is as fake as a supermodel's tits, Naruto. You don't have to act around me.

His eyes show a turmoil of emotion.

Love, rage, sadness, pleading, and sadly…hopelessness.

The eyes of an adult.

"Why? Why do they do this to me? I'm the jailor! Not the container!" he cries.

I just wrap him in a hug," They will never understand my friend. I'll always be here and so will Anko. You're safe with us. No matter what"

His eyes water and he grasps onto me like a lost child.

"I have something for you" I pull out the scroll and put it in his hands.

"What is it?"

"Your legacy"

He gently opens it, almost like he's afraid of what he might find.

He reads in a shocked silence before whispering," Namikaze."

"Yes, Naruto. I'm so sorry I've had to keep this from you…knowing what the villagers do to you has aged me one thousand years" The Third steps into the room.

"You were supposed to be a hero of this village… it was your father's final wish. I've notified the council, upon the granting of your name you will receive the Namikaze back account and the Namikaze District Estates. We checked the amounts an well…" he trails off.

"Well what?" I prod the Hokage.

"**If our math is correct you should be able to buy the Uchiha District seventeen times over"**

**Th-th-th-th-that's all folks. Hope you liked it. R&R, Flame, Whatever. See you later bro's.**


	11. Best Day Ever

**What's up my bro's? How's life? How are you enjoying the story? I don't own Naruto. YAAY! SEXUAL INNUENDO IN THIS CHAPTER!**

"Naruto Uzumaki. Many of you consider him to be the Kyubbi in its human form" The Third begins his speech to the crowd.

A portion of the crowd yells an affirmative.

"All of you know him to be an orphan, not knowing who is real parents were. That ends today! Today the identity of his lineage will be revealed!"

The crowd breaks out in sporadic whispers. Who could the demon brat's parents be?

"An outsider, new to Konoha, convinced me of the need to divulge this secret. Most of you have made this boy's life worse than any of the Seven Hells and for that reason alone he should despise you. Yet he doesn't. This boy…no…this man puts the village before himself every waking moment of his life. Today you will know that Naruto Uzumaki is Naruto Namikaze! Son of the Fourth Hokage and Kushina Uzumaki, The Red Death of Konoha! For seventeen years you've made your idol's own blood suffer and for that I promise that you will be burned in the afterlife" The Third leaks KI.

There's uproar from the crowd. Their hero had a son? And they've fucked him over their entire lives?

"Now. Who still believes Naruto to be evil?" The Hokage dares anyone to speak up.

Not a single person says anything, using their self-preservation skills.

The Hokage only smiles at his villagers and sends them back to their homes," Now you all realize, Naruto is not the prisoner. He's the jailor."

Many just shuffle along, praying to every deity they can recall for forgiveness.

We watch from a distance just in case the villagers didn't take the news too well.

"Congrats Naruto" I pat him on the back.

He smiles genuinely for the first time in a long time, happy to finally know who his parents were.

"Enjoying the view without me, Namikaze?" a voice calls behind us.

Anko, clad in only a peek-a-boo hospital gown, stands proudly.

"Anko-chan!" Naruto wraps her in a hug.

She gives him a playful punch on the arm," So you're the 'outsider'? The Third's always had a flair for the dramatic."

Naruto gives her a kiss which she instantly deepens.

"And I'm done here" I flee while turning a lovely shade of green.

Even four blocks away I can still here their…session.

"_Hmmm…wonder what's it like?"_ I think to myself. Images of Temari run through my head and I can feel blood rushing to my lower regions.

"_Down boy! Down I say! I said stand down soldier!"_ I calm myself.

"Isamu-kun!" a familiar voice yells.

"_Kami…I love you so much"_

Temari runs to my side.

"What's up Temari-chan?" I smile.

"I was about to take a dip in the hot spring. Care to join me?"

I mumble incoherently and luckily she takes it as a 'yes.'

Temari drags me to the springs and leaves to change. The men's locker room is empty and I strip down to my boxers and wrap a towel around myself before stepping out.

Just like the locker room, the men's side is empty.

Voices drift over from the other side as I submerge myself in the warm water.

"Namikaze? I thought he was hot before but DAMN!"

What about Isamu?" another asks curiously.

"Now that kid's a god!" the voice giggles. There are murmurs of approval all around.

I sink lower in the water, embarrassed.

"Hey look! It's that Sand ninja…what's her name? Temari! Hey Temari, come join us!"

A small splash and giggles announce Temari's arrival.

"So how are you liking Konoha so far?" a girl asks.

"It's a very beautiful village and peaceful to boot!"

"What about the boys? Are they cuter here than in Suna?"

"Definitely"

"Anybody in particular?"

My heart begins to beat faster, nervous about the answer.

"Well…Isamu-kun is really cute"

All the girls squeal at this and admittedly… I almost do too…

"Have you guys been on a date?"

"Yeah…we have" I can feel Temari's smile.

More squeals.

"Then date him! He's one of the nicest guys in the world besides Naruto"

"I'm honestly thinking about it" Temari says excitedly.

An involuntary cheer erupts from my mouth," WHOO HOO!"

Oh shit.

I duck under the water, fully appreciating the whole not drowning thing. Under the water I can see the girls poke their heads over the wall.

Ino, Haku, and Temari scan for any signs of an intruder. After a few minutes they begin to give up and I sigh.

Causing bubbles to burst on the surface.

"THERE'S THE PERV!" Ino wings a shuriken at my general area and it sinks into my neck, not deep enough to kill…I hope.

I haul myself to the surface, trying to rip the shuriken out and stem the flow of blood.

"Isamu?! I'm so sorry! IT'S IN HIS NECK! THAT'S SO GROSS!" Ino cries.

I manage to dislodge the shuriken and fall back into the water and the wound begins to heal.

Their shrieks are muffled under the water.

"I think I've terrified them enough" I muse.

I bob to the surface with a slightly peeved look on my face.

A collective look of relief flushes their features then their eyes look down and they gap.

Something blue floats past me.

My fucking boxers.

Blush covers their faces and I take a gamble.

"Like what you see ladies?" I strike a ridiculously provocative pose.

Now there's another look in their eyes.

Pure unbridled lust.

I think I've bitten off more than I can chew.

All three pounce me.

A gentleman never goes into detail but let's say it was the best day at the hot springs in all recorded history.

***One Hour and Multiple Orgasms Later***

I walk out of the hot springs with a smile that threatens to crack my face in half. Temari is beside me, holding my hand happily.

Haku and Ino have already departed with the request to' do this again sometime'.

"That was…fun" I rub the back of my head.

She laughs and squeezes my hand," So what now Isamu-kun? Do you want to be my man?"

"I thought that was obvious" I wink.

"Well then, you better be happy because you're mine" she mock growls.

It's a wonderful moment…well…up until I hear someone yell out," PERVERT!"

A white haired man books it in a futile attempt to escape an angry mob of Konoha kunoichi.

I fear for his well-being.

One of the females gets a hold of his legs and drags him down; much like a lion would a gazelle.

Small anime tears coat his face as the women approach his prone form.

I kiss Temari quickly before heading to the man's rescue.

"UNCLE?! What are you doing out of the house?! You know the doctor said your Alzheimer's is getting worse!" I pray the man catches on.

Thankfully he does," Nephew? Where am I?" he whimpers.

The horde halts," Alzheimer's?" one asks.

"Yes! I'm surprised he even recognizes me" I fake a sob for dramatic effect.

Their features soften and they gently haul the man up.

"Let's get you home" I smile at the women and lead him away.

"You okay?"

The man sighs in relief before nodding.

"Thanks for the save…" trails off.

"Isamu" I finish.

"So you're the one The Third told me about"

"All good things I hope?"

He smiles and shakes my hand before asking where to find Naruto.

"Either at the ramen stand or doing the horizontal cha-cha with his girlfriend"

His nose bleeds at the last part," Well kid, I've got to go find him. It was nice meeting you."

"Teach him something powerful, eh?" I smile before walking away.

"Isamu-kun, I have a meeting with my team. The exams start in a few days and we need a battle-plan."

We share another kiss before we depart.

"Good luck my Sand Orchid" I smile.

"Good luck to you my Water Raven" she runs her fingers through my jet black hair.

Our hands linger together for a few more brief moments.

**Today, all is perfect because I have my Desert Orchid and I am the Water Raven.**

**That's all for you guys today. Fucking review or something…See you later bro's.**


	12. Dick

**Wow I've been away for a while. Sorry bro's. I don't own Naruto.**

It's finally the day of the exam. A chance to finally prove just how powerful we've really gotten.

Kakashi has summoned us to the front of the exam building for some last minute advice and gifts.

He stands in front of Anko and a very powerful looking Naruto.

"Looks like the training paid off" I say, noting the new muscles and lack of fat on his face.

He got a change of clothing as well; wearing the battle coat The Fourth was famous for with a simple mesh shirt under his orange and black shirt.

Black steel toed boots hold him firmly to the ground and he wears the standard shinobi pants with bandages wrapping up to his shins. His new weapons pouch has the kanji for 'Fox' on it.

Anko wears a tan trench coat over a mesh shirt.

"Naruto must be happy about that" I laugh inwardly.

I ended up buying another flak jacket, same as my old one. My only change being that I switched out the standard blue headband for one using the ribbon Kakashi gave me. It reaches past my neck.

"Today is the first day of the exams for you guys and you'll be reporting there in a few minutes. I just wanted to wish you luck and hand out a couple of gifts to my favorite people in the world" Kakashi smiles under his mask.

He hands me a scroll," It's full of replacement Demon Wind Shuriken and one special one from me. You can channel different kinds of chakra into the blades."

To me, the scroll is Kami herself.

He steps up to Anko," Naruto, I'll need some assistance. Just like we practiced."

Naruto pulls down her collar, revealing that vile curse mark.

Kakashi slices his hand and drags the blood across the ink on Anko's neck. He then takes Naruto's hand and places it over the seal.

"**Seal Transfer Technique" **

Her mark begins to disappear .

Naruto groans loudly as black marks begin to swarm all over his body.

"Naruto! Kakashi, what's happening?" I ask, a little worried.

"His body is dissipating the seal's affect with the help of the fox and its chakra" Kakashi explains.

Blood begins leaking from Naruto's ears and eyes," Just a few…more seconds."

The seal finally fades and Naruto collapses, writhing on the ground in sheer agony. The marks pulse along with Naruto's heart.

Anko rushes to his side and wraps him into an embrace," Why would you do that?"

He weakly runs a hand through her hair and smiles," Because you're my Anko-hime and I'm your Idiot Fox. We're very protective of our mates."

He laughs and clutches her hand tightly while Kakashi pops a pill into Naruto's mouth.

A large chakra spike rises from Naruto and the marks reluctantly begin to fade, one by one.

Gradually his skin returns to normal and his bleeding ceases, the marks disappear. Naruto beckons Anko to come closer and sinks his canines into her neck, a purple glow emanating from them.

Another spike rocks my senses but this one comes from Anko.

"What did you do?" she rubs her neck gingerly.

"Giving you back your now clean chakra."

"I hate to see what your present was Naruto" I carefully lift him to his feet.

"Actually Naruto got two presents. One from me and one from a passerby" Kakashi smiles knowingly.

Naruto holds his hand out, palm up, and chakra begins to visibly form in his hand until he holds a small spiraling blue ball of energy.

"Rasengan" I gape at the Fourth's prized technique.

"A passing perv taught it to me" he smiles.

"White hair, face paint, horned forehead protector, carrying a notepad?"

"How'd you guess that?"

"I saved him from an imminent ball removal via a dozen pissed of kunoichi"

Naruto rubs the back of his head," Definitely sounds like Pervy-Sage. He also taught me something else that Anko loves! I just take my tongue and-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE! NOT ANOTHER WORD FURTHER!" I plug my ears.

I shudder involuntarily.

Kakashi wishes us luck before sending us into the building where the exams are to be held in a few minutes. He tells us to find room 302.

We find it easy enough but two genin refuse anybody access.

A kid in green spandex lies on the ground looking a little worse for the wear. I step forward and haul him up to his feet," Genjustu" I whisper in his ear.

His eyes, if possible, widen even more and he nods.

I signal Naruto and Anko to follow me up the stairs and the Spandexed Wonder does the same with his squad.

The two 'genin' discreetly nod at us and we step into the real 302 with no trouble or resistance.

"Good job, rookies" a silver haired kid greets us as we step in. I catch a scent…snake.

"Nice to see you guys made it!" Ino calls from the corner of the room. Zabuza and Haku stand at her sides.

"What's up, Eyebrows?" I tease.

"Not much Waterboy…by the way…GATORADE!" he whips out a bottle of the drink and waves it in my face. **(A/N…I couldn't fucking resist)**

I produce something of my own…a permanent marker and with two quick slashes he now has a pair of eyebrows.

One of them twitches dangerously.

I can't help it when I fall on the floor and spasm with laughter. Zabuza growls menacingly before reaching for his sword.

"Quiet down!" the silver haired kid warns.

"Why should we?" Kiba barks.

"Listen, to take your mind off of everything let's take a look at my Ninfo Cards" he offers.

"I prefer Yu-Gi-Oh" I mutter.

Two Kumo ninja ask about Naruto, Gaara, and I.

"Naruto Uzumaki: completed 37 D-ranks, 2 B-ranks, and an S-rank."

"Gaara of the Sand: Same as Naruto with the exception of the S-rank. Only highlight being he's come back from mission completely unscathed"

And finally Isamu Shimizu: Last of the Pure Water Clan, parents were guinea pigs for a failed seal, lost chakra coils as-"

I slash the cards in half, cutting the tips of the kid's fingers," Who are you?!" I snarl.

"Name's Kabuto" he smirks.

Before I have a chance to rip him in, half three Sound ninja attack Kabuto. He easily dodges the first and the second but barely scrapes past the third. He stands cockily and smirks before his glasses crack and he vomits on the floor.

'Sonic Attack' I make a mental note.

A large plume of smoke appears at the front of the classroom," Alright you little pustules. SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING TRAPS!"

Everyone sits down so fast you'd think their asses weighed four tons.

The instructor, a large and scarred man named Ibiki, stands smirking at the front of the room.

"I am Ibiki, your first exam proctor. You will be taking a written test, anyone caught cheating will immediately be asked to leave. Begin!" he shouts.

We flip over our papers and I pause.

The first question reads," If you leave your apartment at 5 and you walk down the street how long will it take for you to realize your life is pointless and you should kill yourself?"

'That seems…mean…fuck it…I'm doodling' I start to scribble on the paper.

The sounds of dozens of confused genin greets my ears.

I see a kid peek at a paper for a millisecond and a kunai buries itself in his paper.

"Out. Now." Ibiki growls. The genin bows his head and leaves with his teammates.

The clock keeps ticking, just a few more seconds.

An alarm at the front of the class rings, "Pencils down an ears open, I'm going to ask you all a final question and if you don't want to answer you can leave. If you get it wrong…you're done with the exams. Permanently. "

Six teams leave off the bat.

"Bring it on!" Naruto shouts from the back of the room.

Ibiki smirks again," For everyone who stayed…you pass!"

He laughs at our dumbstruck faces.

"Called it" Anko smiles.

"Hey Ibiki!" I yell.

"What do you want brat?"

I choose my next words very carefully.

"**You're a dick!"**

**R&R, Flames will be giggled at, see you later bro's.**


	13. Snake Fuck

**I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS! NO SHITTY MICROSOFT WORD WILL KEEP ME DOWN! I DON'T OWN NARUTO!**

All the genin about soil themselves in relief. Ibiki begins to twitch oddly at the front of the room, looking very confused. He unties his bandana and blows his nose into is before retying it to his head, much to the gathered ninja's disgust. A line of snot drips down his forehead before the class breaks into uproarious laughter.

"Shikamaru!" Ibiki howls at a corner. A shadow begins to shift, revealing a man in a jonin flak jacket with a tight ponytail.

He tries and fails to suppress a smile before addressing the genin,"I am Shikamaru Nara, your second exam proctor. Today we will be meeting at the Forest of Death, Training Ground Number 44 in forty minutes. Anyone how is late will be disqualified."

Shikamaru turned and disappeared into a shadow.

…..

**Thirty Minutes Later**

The genin army arrives as a whole, finding the Shadow King of Konoha lazily watching the clouds roll by.

He quickly goes over the rules; teams will be given one of two possible scrolls. There is a Heaven and there is an Earth scroll. The objective is simple, eliminate other teams and get the scroll you don't have before heading to the center of the forest to be greeted at a large tower in the pinnacle of the woods.

Our team acquires an Earth scroll.

We're lined up at a large gate and let in at intervals of ten minutes. Naruto, Anko, and I line up to go next, eagerly anticipating the upcoming challenges and inevitable triumphs.

As soon as the gate opens we fly out, eager to dominate any and every team that is unlucky enough to get in our way.

A team from Kumo is spotted trying to hide, poorly, in some dense underbrush. Some quick explosive tag work makes a short story of them.

Naruto plants the tag on a tree-branch above the unsuspecting shinobi, when it goes off, branches as thick as my body begin to tumble onto the poor ninja.

In less than thirty seconds we've already taken out a promising team and taken their scroll. Unfortunately we don't find a Heaven scroll, just another Earth.

A distant and horrified scream quickly draws our attention to the East. Anko and Naruto disappear in twin swirls of leaves while I summon a plume of water. They take a flanking route towards the scream, leaving me to go up the center.

Our shadows flit through the darkened forest as another scream echoes.

We arrive in a clearing, Haku and Ino are incapacitated as Zabuza battles a lone grass nin. I clip my Demon Wind Shuriken off my belt and charge it full of fire chakra.

"**Fire Style: Dragon's Windmill!"** I launch the large shuriken at the ninja, its blades catching flame. The already deadly shuriken is transformed into a cyclone of white-hot flames that scorch the air around it.

It bears down on the embattled ninja and her eyes widen in alarm. She rolls to the side and my windmill slices through six trees before flying back into my outstretched hand. The flames still scorch her, much to my delight, her clothing is horribly singed and I spot lumps of flesh falling away.

"A mask?" Zabuza hisses.

The 'woman' chuckles, tugging the skin away to reveal her true molted white hide.

"Orochimaru!" Anko gasps then growls.

"Anko-chan, how nice to see you again" his tongue rolls out and tries to lick her cheek.

Naruto grabs it before the slimy appendage makes contact, ripping it from his mouth. The Sannin's eyes roll back and he roars wordlessly.

"If you ever touch my girl again…I'LL KILL YOU!" Naruto's ocean eyes turn deep vermillion as his rage with the Sannin grows.

Naruto tosses a three pronged kunai at the snake before flying through a multitude of hand seals, disappearing in a yellow flash.

"Holy shit…what a gift" I smirk at Jiraiya's gift to his godson.

He appears behind the snake fuck, a rasengan ready to tear Orochimaru into bite-sized little bits. I charge up a chidori as the spinning ball of chakra connects, sending the snake spiraling towards me.

As his body closes in, I pump more chakra into my palm, turning the blue chakra a dark purple. I thrust my palm forward, shoving down the Snake man's throat.

Orochimaru howls as I grope around the inside of his throat and grasp what I assume is his esophagus. As I begin the process of pulling it free, he turns to mud. A slight whooshing sound gives me cause to draw my sword, narrowly parrying the blade of Orochimaru.

My sword groans under the legendary blade, a crack forming in the center.

"Fuck!" I growl.

He swings again, shattering my blade into millions of tiny shards. A kick to the chest sends me hurtling into a tree, it cracks under the force and begins to top forward at a scary angle. The shattering of the timber snaps me out of my semi-conscious state and I scramble out from under its shadow.

I'm clear just as the three ton tree slams into the ground. Death by tree? Fuck that!

My back is a chorus of complaints and agony but I force myself to my feet. My teammates and Zabuza square off against the Sannin.

"Anko-chan, I'm offended! You got rid of my gift!" the Sannin pouts in mock-hurt.

She growls and pulls out a dozen shuriken, arming them with wind chakra. Orochimaru makes some seals before his neck elongates and jets towards Anko's neck.

I wing my Demon Wind shuriken, loaded full of wind chakra**," Wind Reaper!**"

The hurtling chunk of metal approaches faster than Orochimaru can register and it cleanly slices through his neck before returning to my hand. I'm not surprised when the two pieces turn to mud.

"You will all pay later! Kukuku" Orochimaru cackles from deep within the forest.

We all relax, the tension receding. Zabuza finally rouses Haku and Ino with smelling salts before Naruto and I collapse. I can faintly hear Anko yelling our names.

Neither of us are seriously injured, just seriously exhausted. Zabuza hauls me onto his back while telling me he has an extra Heaven scroll and he's delighted to know we have an Earth scroll to spare. We swap and Zaubza carries the both of us to the tower.

When we step inside, the scrolls begin to twitch. Anko drops it with a yelp and steps back, in a plume of smoke Iruka stands in front of us with a large smile.

"Great job guy!" he cheers.

Naruto and I give a thumbs up before passing out.

**I will be updating regularly now that I have a better access to Word. R&R, Flame, I don't care. Check out my fanfic Metal Fox and tell me what you think and be on the lookout for a Naruto and High school of the Dead Crossover!**


	14. We Stop the Horror

**MWAHAHAH I'M BBBBAACCKKKK!**

**I don't own Naruto and I will soon begin work on Metal Fox**

Sunlight stabs me deep in the retinas, attacking my sleep without remorse.

"Fuck you sun, I'll kill you and plow your wife in the ass" I mumble. Naruto laughs in the bed besides me, looking much better than he did a few hours ago.

"It's time for the battles to start" a white-clad doctor gently hauls us up and leads us into a large arena. Pair of hands the size of a small building form a seal and an inscription lies underneath.

_War…War Never Changes._

"_Damn straight. Where there is man there is the darkness to carry out evil deeds"_

The remaining genin teams, the ones not killed by Naruto and I, line the rails of the arena, looking down at a battle already taking place. A scoreboard flickers a little to draw our attention.

Choji Akimichi Vs. Rock Lee.

"That's just…unfair" Naruto cocks his head to the side in a sadistic bemusement.

The chubby Akimichi has anime tears running from his eyes as he barely dodges Lee's amped up and spandexed taijutsu barrage.

"YOSH! MY FLAMES OF YOUTH WILL LIGHT A FIRE IN YOUR HEART TO GUIDE YOU TO THE SPRINGTIME!" Lee rants as he chases poor Choji.

I shiver slightly.

Choji suddenly stops, pulling out a sword to perform seppuku.

Hayate is there to stop him time, although it causes his coughing to act up.

"Choji Akimichi is no longer able to battle! The winner is Rock Lee!" Hayate announces to the face palming crowd. One shinobi from Kumo actually knocks himself out with the force of the palm.

"THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH HAS PROVEN TO CONQUER ALL!" Lee sprints to his sensei.

"Naruto! Now!" I twist my fingers into a ram seal while his form hare.

Gai and Lee freeze, a perk of ripping the space and time barrier.

"Use Hiraishin, Naruto! I can't hold them much longer!" I begin to panic as the two begin to move ever so slowly.

"I can't!" Naruto pats his pockets frantically.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT!?"

"I left the kunai in the room!" he begins to run away.

One brave shinobi from Iwa takes a blow for us all as he throws himself between the two, resulting in a three-way hug but a lack of genjustu.

He is sent home with mental scars and a jonin vest….

"What the fuck just happened?" Kakashi asks.

"I…I have no clue" Kurenai stands, mouth agape and trying to process what the hell just happened.

Hayate clears his throat from the center of the ring," Will Kin Tsuchi and Isamu Shimizu step down to the battlefield, please?"

The girl smirks at me and gloats about how this will be an easy match.

Yeah. Right.

I sense something off about her, the way she walks, the way she looks back at her teammates. It's all a very elaborate act to be left alone. With a polite nod and smile I wish the raven haired beauty luck in the match.

She snorts but I take that as a warm thank you.

"Hajime!" Hayate drops his hand.

We both leap back, me sticking to the wall with chakra. I reach for my sword but soon retract it, remembering it's lying in a million pieces on the forest floor, save the hilt.

Instead I can only draw a kunai.

Bells ringing. That's a new one. My vision becomes horribly blurred then all turns black.

**Genjutsu World of Kin **

A dark silver moon casts an ominous glow on a blackened forest, charred and sharp grass bites at my ankles.

Kin stands in the center, holding a sword to an incapacitated Naruto's throat. His eyes plead for me to save him as the sword cuts a gentle, shallow line across his jaw.

"How does it feel to be this helpless?" Kin drags the blade across her tongue.

The sword quickly opens up Naruto's aorta, spraying me with his crimson essence. He slumps against his bonds and I can see the life draining from his eyes. A gurgle emanates from his throat for a few moments before all turns quiet.

"Genjutsu , huh? Kind of tame if you ask me" I pick my thumbnail nonchalantly.

"You should be under MY control!" she backs away slowly.

"See? That's the thing right there…I'm under no one's control" I snap my middle finger with a muted crunch.

Immediately the room returns to normal. No Naruto, no moon, and no blood.

"How?" Kin demands.

For a response I hold up the finger, the bone jutting through the skin," You're strong, no doubt about that. But sadly…it's time I ended this."

I grasp the hilt of my shattered sword and with a simple wrist flick I send it on a path for her head, it acting like a dulled kunai jetting for her forehead.

"**Great Breakthrough!" **I fire a gust of powerful wind to form behind the hilt.

CLANG.

Her head snaps back at the sudden contact, she's unconscious on her feet. Slowly, she rocks back and forth before toppling forward.

I'm there before she connects with the concrete.

"Winner: Isamu!" Hayate announces to the other genin.

I opt to carry Kin to the infirmary myself, an odd feeling tugging at the back of my mind.

"What a great match, Isamu!" Hiruzen laughs heartily and shakes my hand vigorously.

"Thank you, Old Man" I grin at Naruto's surrogate granddad.

"You seem worried about this girl" the Third sees me tense slightly.

"I just have this…feeling something horrible is gonna happen to her I want to keep an eye on her. Can I allow her to stay at the mansion for a while until I get this all sorted out?"

"Of course Isamu, she'll be welcomed with open arms" Sarutobi swings his arms out.

"But first…" I pull down her scarf to reveal a small curse mark. I copy Kakashi's hand signs quite easily and smear my blood from a freshly bitten thumb onto the seal.

"**Seal Dissipation"**

Half a heartbeat passes before huge wave of agony washes over me like a ninety foot tsunami, filling my senses to the brim with despair and pain.

I bite down on hard on my cheek to try to stop the scream boiling in my throat like molten tar. Crimson jets from my eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, making a large puddle on the floor.

"Sucks to be a janitor today" I choke out a strangled laugh.

After an agonizing forty minutes of pain I finally succumb to blissful unawareness.

…

"Fuck. My. Life." I manage to squeeze out through tightly grit teeh.

"**Get up" **a foot pokes my nostril and an ethereal voice drifts from above me.

I crack open my eyes to find an ocean, pitch black in color. A girl stands to my side, her hair a golden waterfall, and her eyes ripple like the ocean.

"And you are…?" I fish for a name.

"The clan spirit of the Shimizu. My name is Kai and I'm the one who's been keeping your ass alive" she snorts.

I drop to a knee with my head bowed low," It is an honor, Lady Kai."

Her face shows shock, like this was the last thing she ever expected.

"Why are you…?" she gestures to my prostrated state.

"You've save my life many times. I am forever in your debt, My Lady."

"Uhhhh…Rise?" she utters.

I do just that, meeting her eyes and quickly becoming lost in them," So what the fuck's up with the ocean?"

"When you absorbed that disgusting seal, you tainted your inner peace with the demons of Orochimaru" Kai looks at the ocean grimly.

"How do I fix it?" It seems like a pretty damn big project to take up.

Kai waves her hand and a small boy appears in between us. He has jet black hair, yellow-slitted eyes, and pale skin.

"Orochimaru as a…child?" this is a new development.

She nods and pushes a dagger into my hands," Kill him."

Two simple words blow me back miles. The young snake turns to me with a warm and trusting look in his eyes.

"I…."

His eyes are full of such curiosity and life, not a goddamn thing like the sick adult version. My hand trembles as I force myself to raise the blade, fear flashing in his eyes.

Something stirs deep inside of me, reminding me of my own past. The fear, the loneliness, the dire and dark pain that seems to seep into every part of your soul. The bandits that took my eye cross my mind. Orochimaru reminds me of….

Me.

That dreaded knife falls to the ground with a soft thump and I embrace the young boy. His arms wrap around me and I feel tears on my chest.

"Lady Kai, I refuse" I stand my ground firmly, eyes blazing with resolution.

A low hum draws my attention back to the black ocean. The black fades into a whirlpool and I can make out faces trapped in the riptide. Bandits, demons, skeletons, everything that had haunted me is dragged under without so much as a death rattle.

Kai seems to glow as the ocean turns a frosty ice-blue.

"I have no clue what the Hell just happened…care to explain?" I face the smiling Kai.

"You pass my test…you are the Hero of Innocence. The Gods above have deemed you worthy as have I. You now have Orochimaru's purity, something he cast aside decades ago in his bastardized quest for immortality. With it, you and you alone can help save him from the dark path his dances down" this time Kai embraces me tightly.

She whispers something in my ear," Ask your Hokage about the Clan Restoration Act. I'll be happy to join it."

Suddenly my pants feel eight sizes too small.

"What will happen with Orochimaru?" I look at the young boy clutching my leg tightly.

"I will guard him until the time is right for you to save him."

With a nod I step back and ruffle the snake's hair, making him laugh happily.

"You really are something else, Isamu. Naruto and you might just redeem this sad and corrupt world", she winks and gives me a small kiss on the cheek before I'm thrust back into the world of the conscious.

**So what'd you think? See you later, bro's.**


End file.

Naruto, Adventure, Sci-Fi