Warcraft Dinner and a Movie

I never think things through.

I guess that's what happens when you can vanish whenever you want. I'm subtlety at its finest, ladies (if you aren't a lady, go away. I don't write these for fun, you know, and unfortunately I don't swing that way...well, anymore.) But anyway, it's why I never mind when Garrosh forces young gentlemen like myself to die in these battle things. I call them things because they aren't just war; they are like games, which is entirely morbid, but like I said, I never stick around long. It's just that I'd be flagged as a deserter if I didn't go at all. Some people might say I'm kind of a coward, but I assure you that is not the case. I've killed many, and that reminds me...Curse those spirits that heal people every thirty seconds. No wonder the horde hasn't taken the land after...wait, well, I can't reveal my age, can I? The point is I've never had to work that hard, but I really wish I would have thought things through before I attacked her.

Really, though, she was asking for it. She had an awful haircut and she slouched. I'm a little against people who have no regard for looks. I'm not shallow. I just like effort.

The second I saw her short, uneven, white hair and her ridiculous facial markings I gagged a little. That look was so overdone. When I saw her metal bow and rabid tiger I laughed out loud.

She was a hunter! How easy.

I slipped into the shadows and wormed my way around behind her. Didn't she know she shouldn't stand out in the open alone? It occurred to me that some other stealthed enemy could be crawling around. Eh, I thought, and shrugged. No doubt I could take them. Or, you know, if not, I could always disappear. I turned my attention to her backside, ready for a cheapshot, and then paused. Damn. I usually don't get distracted so easily, but her leg armor was tight and...okay, she had a pretty nice figure. But a real lady stays home and sews my outfits. A real lady worth looking at wouldn't be splattered with blood and dirt. A real lady...shit! I had waited too long and she had popped a flare as well as laid down some (rather useless but nevertheless annoying) traps. I ran through the risks in my head and decided to just go for it. I was already so close that I could almost touch her. Hmm, that almost sounded nice, but I had plenty of fine women back home. You'd be surprised what female blood elves do for magic.

Ha! I chuckled as my daggers swung into her back. She let out a cry of pain, although I imagined it was how she'd sound if I had done _other _things to her. Seriously, they all sound like they really enjoy dying. By the time she leapt backwards and got off a shot on me, she was already considerably weakened. I tried to evade the arrow, but her damn tiger made that a little difficult. Oh well. It didn't hurt that bad anyway; nothing hurts when you have the resilience that I have. I sapped that pet of hers before embracing the shrouds of stealth. It wasn't long now...she was almost a goner...

But then the bitch ran.

She was running towards the bushes near those huts that always have power ups or healing bursts in them. So, it wasn't going to be my fastest kill. Fine. But she was still going down. A red glow suddenly encompassed my peripherals; she had most likely put that giant red mark over my head. Ugh. I couldn't vanish right away, leaving me to suffer with some of her more nasty arrows, made worse by that red mark. It didn't matter though. Her sleek form clarified itself before me as I grew closer. Beyond her, I could see her cat beating down on one of my poor team mates. Normally, I would help. Maybe. But this was something I wanted to finish.

Closer and closer and closer.

There! In just one more second I could sap her and she would be mine for the taking...

Suddenly the battle ended. We had won. Yet I didn't feel like I had accomplished anything- I really hadn't accomplished anything. One by one, everyone took portals and left, as they had completed their service.

But she stayed. She stood in confidence with her disheveled appearance and gave me a small smirk.

"What's so funny?" I asked, dubious at her arrogance. "You are a poor fighter, but a great coward, seeing as how you ran away from me."

She strolled up to me, her fiery eyes never letting up on mine. "Same to you. I should let you know, I never let one of your kind survive, blood elf."

Ah, so it was going to be like that. Good. I needed this closure. I threw her one of my most sardonic bows before lunging towards her, blades ready, blades thirsting for blood. She didn't even flinch, but brought her polearm up to block it.

She said with a snort, "I'm surprised you didn't try to hide yourself. You're a little braver than I thought." I was going to respond but I was a little out of breath trying to break her defenses. I gave it a shot, but hey, rogues were made for sneaking. And that's what I was going to do. At least, that's what I was going to do until my dagger shattered-ultimately shattered-her weapon. My dagger came down, creating a rip in her- leather? Leather chest armor?  
I couldn't kill a hunter that was still wearing leather. I shook my head.

And then I froze. The rift in her armor that I had caused revealed everything up there. Well not _everything, _but I got the picture. See, this whole thing was just a mess. And it wouldn't have happened if I would have thought, _Hey that haircut is terrible and every night elf female has it. I shouldn't attack her_. I just need to think things through. She acted like it didn't even happen, but instead took advantage of my gaping and thrust me backwards. Not losing a second, she drew her bow and aimed it right at my chest. Sigh. If she thought that was going to keep me from looking, she was wrong.

With a grin of pure cruelty, she released her arrow; sadly for her, I was too quick and ducked out of the way. I resorted to my secrecy. She was certainly frazzled, turning this way and that, looking behind her every five seconds. It did her no good. I reached up behind her and snuck my blades under her chin. Yeah, I had to reach a little bit. I might have been on my tippy-toes, maybe, but you'll never know for sure. And just to be on the safe side, I gave the inside of her knees a good nudge, so that she doubled over and was easy to drag inside the little hut. I wanted to make this good.

"Usually I have a better catchphrase for moments like these," I mused, "But I'm afraid my creativity has fled. Your death will be accompanied not with wit, but with uh..." I made myself comfortable, holding her in a deadlock. "Probably just with some strange gestures. I'm very good at improv, you know."

She growled through clenched teeth, "Oh?" It was probably all she could muster through my tight grip. But the fact that she had even responded...There was something strangely attractive about her immortal determination. So attractive that I couldn't bring myself to finish her off right away. I mean, that kind of fire in a heart deserves some recognition, right?

"What's your name, night elf?" I asked, my voice not as sharp as I hoped it would be.

I think she laughed, but my grip around her neck kind of strangled it into a bizarre cough; I loosened my grip a little so I could hear her name. ""Bandu Thoribas!"

It was my turn to laugh. "I know there are some differences between our languages, miss. But I know that means you want to fight me in Darnassian. Come on, what's your name?" I looked into her glowing eyes and witnessed a hint of amusement flower within them. It surprised me at first, until I realized that I was actually _enjoying_ this banter. Now, she was beginning to as well. Maybe I had even impressed her with my vast linguistic knowledge. Who knows?

"Alannaria."

"Sounds like a name you should brush your hair for."

"Don't make me bring my pet in here."

What? I had completely forgotten. She could have escaped moments ago, but she hadn't whistled for the aid.

"So, you're going easy on me?" Ouch. It was hard to say.

"Of course. You're an... interesting experiment." Her voice chided me, but I found it sexy. I was only half listening, anyway- that rip gave a beautiful view when I peered over her shoulder. She continued (or maybe she had said other stuff in between, sorry, but I was distracted). "Besides I'm losing faith in this battle for Warsong, anyway. Isn't Azeroth facing more dire situations? Deathwing is still out there. Yet the Alliance and Horde persistently waste man power on this never ending battle."

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, probably registering only half of what she said, although I loved to complain about these damn battle things. "I can hardly take these mini wars seriously."

Suddenly she shoved her shoulder forward, using the force of her whole upper body, attempting to shake herself from my grasp. We tumbled to the floor, and you've got to hand it to me, I was pretty strong for holding on. Especially because it made my face feel warm and my stomach feel as though waterfalls cascaded within it. Unusual. I just must have been embarrassed. Neither of us stirred for a few stretched out seconds, until she laughed quite heartily. To my horror? No, it felt like...something nicer than that. I found myself joining her.

And then she rolled over on top of me. I kind of expected such a bold move from her by now. I looked up into her fiery eyes that _still_ refused to let up on mine. To be honest, I didn't even notice her hair. She looked amazing. Not a lady, sure, but a warrior. Rebellion that had flooded from the inside of her to the outside, rebellion in its truest sense.

"How about we make this a warsong to remember?" she asked as though she was taunting me into it. I grabbed her head, my fingers embracing her unkept hair, and pulled her lips to mine. I don't know how long we kissed after that. Time looped in circles as though it were incidental. My hunger for her grew; with each kiss, I became less satisfied.

The spell was only broken when a mage blinked into the hut and retrieved the electric ball of healing that had been floating above us. He stared, incredulous, before whispering, "Alannaria?"

Well. She had been caught. She leapt to her feet, suddenly ashamed of her breasts, and begged the mage not to tell. He agreed- conditionally, of course. I sat up, for once uncaring and unaware of what a mess my appearance was, and watched her pick up her bow and her polearm. I watched as she walked out into the field. I watched as she became a hazy shimmer on the horizon. And then I watched her disappear.

I really wish I would have thought things through, but then again, who can tell if love is coming their way? I guess it hits you when it hits you. You can't always stop it; when it happens, you probably don't even want it to. Our little date was far from a dinner and a movie, but even so, I swear to you...

It won't be the last.

Even now, I'm still looking for her. So I never mind when Garrosh forces young gentlemen like myself to die in these battle things.

You might just be pleasantly surprised.


End file.

Warcraft, Humor, Romance