Divergent Trilogy Sick Love

**A/N: [IMPORTANT] Trigger warnings: domestic abuse, alcoholism, and drug addiction. This is rated T, but it does contain some matter that could possibly be deemed offensive, along with some language. I am NOT saying that abuse of any kind is okay. This piece is purely fictional-completely OOC and even AU. This was mostly inspired by the music video for "30 Minute Break" by The Luka State, which I highly suggest watching.**

**Also, I've never written anything in present-tense before, so this is odd in that sense. I jumped a few times, I know, for which I apologize.**

**Anyway, I hope this makes sense and you enjoy it. (I do not own any characters mentioned, as they all belong to the lovely Veronica Roth.)**

Tobias entered the small apartment as quietly as he could manage, wincing as the door hinges cried into the darkness. It was late; it always took her hours to settle down after an episode and he knew better than to come back when she was awake and angry. Whenever her mood was sour as it was, she would look for someone to channel her fury into, and since he was the only one who kept coming back, that meant that he was the one that was going to be on the receiving end of her violence, and he should have known that before he went to the party that night.

The reason for the party was simple enough: Eric was throwing a celebration for the graduating initiates of that year, as he usually did. Tobias, having taught all of those initiates what they needed to be Dauntless, was invited to the event. He knew that he shouldn't go, that his girlfriend would undoubtedly find something to get mad at him over; but he didn't care. What was wrong with going out for a few drinks? Chatting with friends? Being social and having fun for once? The answer to all of those should have been "nothing," but it wasn't, all because of his girlfriend.

Why did he always go back to her?

Tobias knew what she was. He had heard others talking about her, always saying that she was bad news for him and anyone around her. He had attended some of the mandatory domestic abuse seminars back in Abnegation. He knew his relationship with her wasn't a healthy one; yet, he couldn't bring himself to end it.

_Did you see his face today, Will? _Christina had said a few days ago during lunch. _She must have attacked him with a bloody wine bottle or something. Why does he stay with her, anyway? She's a mess._

Despite knowing better, Tobias had gone to that party for the graduating class of initiates. He had snuck out while she had been watching television, never looking back. He knew that she wouldn't have approved of him leaving, so he hadn't asked. She would be mad when he got back, would be beyond pissed when she discovered he was gone, but he was thinking that a night out would be worth it. After all, she had promised to never hurt him again, right? That had to count for something.

But it didn't. She had said that countless times-always after she had beaten him bloody. No matter how many times she apologized, no matter how many promises she made, she would always turn on her word and hurt him again later down the road.

Although she hurt him, often, he never hurt her back. He never got drunk with her, never smoked with her on the terrace, and never laid a hand on her stash of drugs. None of those things were him, and neither was hurting her-physically, anyway.

Tobias avoids turning on the light as he walks carefully through the living room he shares with her, hoping she is asleep and won't wake up until tomorrow. _She won't hurt me, _he thinks, reminding himself that he really has no reason to be so cautious. _She promised me that yesterday. _

He doesn't think about all of the other times she has said that, or all the times she's broken that promise.

Fumbling through the darkness, he searches for the doorway into the bedroom, only to hit his leg hard on the coffee table.

"Shit," he curses audibly, stilling entirely and listening hard for any sign that his girlfriend heard him.

After a minute of not hearing anything, he continues on, trying impossibly harder to remain quiet. His knee is throbbing hard in time with his heart, his fingers running along the wall to help him keep his balance.

He forgets about the vase on the TV tray.

The object tumbles to the floor the minute his hand comes in contact with it, shattering into thousands of pieces at his feet. The noise it makes is alike that of a cannon amidst silence, and Tobias curses the concrete floors of their apartment.

The bedroom light flicks on. "Tobias?"

His eyes widen. He doesn't say anything, wanting to simply disappear into the wall.

"I know it's you, Tobias," his girlfriend states loudly, her voice furious and harsh as it splits through the early morning air.

Footsteps sound against the concrete floor, and before he knows it, she's standing at the doorway and staring at him, her arms folded across her pajama-clad chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were going out tonight?"

He avoids her gaze, the pain in his knee forgotten with all the fear that was swallowing his body.

Her foot taps impatiently, a sign he's begun to associate with impending anger and violence. "Well?"

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "Eric asked me out, and I didn't want-"

"You were supposed to cook dinner for me."

Sweat breaks out on his forehead and under his arms. "I know, and I'm really sorry, but-"

"You're such a selfish and inconsiderate bastard, Tobias!"

She charges at him then, her fists raised. He covers his face with his arms, folding his body into a ball and crouching down to the floor. Her foot connects with his side first, setting his ribs ablaze with pain.

"You cheated on me, didn't you?" she screams, throwing her fists at the sides of his head. "You've always had a thing for skanks, haven't you?"

He wants to fight back, he really does, but he loves her too much to hurt her. _If she's doing this, I must deserve it,_ he reasons as she lands another blow to his ribcage. The pain is hot and fiery, much like her, but Tobias simply lies there and takes it.

"Am I not good enough for you?" she asks, her voice barely understandable at its elevated pitch. "Can you not see that you're lucky just to have me? That I could leave you at any point if I wanted to?"

He can tell she's crying as she picks up a stiletto that had been laying around and begins to hit him with it. She hits many of his older wounds and also makes new ones, sobbing as she continues to attack him.

_She's never hurt me this much before..._

Crimson rivers flow along his body, soaking his clothes and spilling onto the floor. He's beginning to feel almost numb, the pain so excruciating that he can barely feel it.

"Please," he begs weakly. "I'm so sorry!"

He hears her take a bottle of whiskey from the nearby counter and feels the impact of it being thrown at him. The alcohol burns as it spills onto his open wounds, but he says nothing. His girlfriend tugs at his hair, throwing him along the floor, glass shards piercing his tanned skin even through his t-shirt.

How much blood can a man lose before he bleeds out?

Tobias coughed, wincing as crimson poured between his lips. He was now on all fours, his legs and arms threatening to give out. "Please," he repeats.

"Is she good, Tobias? Have you had sex with her yet?" She is still furious, and her anger shows no signs of dissipating.

He shakes his head weakly, red falling to the floor with the minute action. "There is no one else, babe-"

"Don't call me that!"

Tobias whimpers as her fist finds his back, connecting to it harshly and repeatedly. "There's never going to be anyone but you," he moans painfully.

She kicks him then, the force of it sending him onto his back. "I know you're lying," she cries, moving to straddle his stomach. "I'm not pretty enough for you, am I?"

From experience, Tobias knows that her self-conscious statement means that she was breaking down. It was only a matter of time before she realizes what she has done, and when she did, she would stop hurting him. Temporarily, anyway.

A stray tear made its way down his face, quickly going from clear to red. Blackness is invading his sight, threatening to pull him under, and he closes his eyes. Suddenly, the weight that had been on his chest lifts.

"Oh, my God-Tobias. What have I done? Hold on, I'll get the first aid-"

He doesn't hear the rest of what she had to say.

《◇~Line Break~◇》

Tobias was on the terrace, staring out at the stars and darkened sky. He can feel his healing ribs with every breath, along with the dulled sting of the shallow cuts the glass from her whiskey bottle had made a week ago. They still hurt, but he feels no anger for their existence; the way he sees it, they are simply the result of a small lover's spat, nothing more and nothing less.

It had been difficult to hide the wounds from his friends and fellow Dauntless-members. The first aid she had given him had barely cut it, but somehow he had pulled though the night without having to go to the hospital. People had given his beat-up face some lengthy glances, but he had lied and said that he had fallen down some stairs-a half-truth, really. He had fallen, but it wasn't down some stairs. It was for a dangerous woman.

He sighs, knowing that he had barely made it out of there alive last time. Had she attacked him for a little while longer, he would have bled to death on the cold floor of their living room. Regardless, he has already forgiven her. What else could he do? He didn't want to live without her, and she had promised (again) to never lay a harmful hand on him ever again. Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't break that promise this time.

He shivers, a gust of cool air blowing through his shirt. He turns to go inside, knowing it was late anyway. His girl is probably already waiting for him in bed.

Reentering the apartment through the back door, he squints into the darkness. Sure enough, there is a petite, body-sized lump on the bed, facing away from him. He walks towards the bed, lifting the comforter and slipping inside. His arm reaches out and circled around her waist, drawing him closer to her.

She moans sleepily, moving to face him. Tobias kisses her forehead sweetly, hiding his wince when she hugs his ribs too tightly. Their eyes both close-his in pain and hers in tiredness-and he whispers to her.

I love you, baby. Always.

《◇~Line Break~◇》

She knew she wasn't good for him, deep down, but he always came back to her, no matter what she did. He never told a soul about what she did to him, even if he probably should have. He would take all of the beatings willingly, never laying a hand on her.

She didn't mean to hurt him.

It was always the booze, she decided. Either that or the drugs. It was those things that made her get mad at him-made her hurt him. But she couldn't give them up. She was addicted, whether she admitted it or not.

He had asked her to stop taking the pills and stop drinking the vile drinks. She had been high at the time, so she slapped him. _How dare you,_ she had said, crying and laughing bitterly. _I'm never giving them up; not for you, not for anyone. Never._

Tobias never asked her again, even though she knew he wanted to.

《◇~Line Break~◇》

He wakes up, finding that his girlfriend is already out of bed, the smell of stale booze finding his nostrils. The clock at the bedside tells him it's time for him to make breakfast.

When Tobias enters the kitchen, he sees an empty pill container and a half-gone bottle of liquor. She's sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes bloodshot and a frown swallowing her features.

"You're up late," she states, not looking at him.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"We're out of booze."

_More like, you're out of booze, _he thinks.

"I'll pick up some more at the store after I get off from work."

She nods, her head falling to the table with a thump as she goes unconscious. Tobias sighs, walking over to her.

"Why do you always do this to yourself? To us?" he asks, lifting her limp body up from the chair. He carries her into the bedroom and lays her down on the bed, leaving some pain medication and water on the nightstand.

He was enabling her, he knew, but he couldn't help it. He loved her.

《◇~Line Break~◇》

It was another two weeks before she hurt him again.

The day was a sunny one, and Tobias went to work as usual. His ribs were finally healed, and his face looked normal. He was even planning for a nice dinner with his girlfriend that night.

The dinner didn't turn out to be nearly as nice as he had planned it to be.

When he had arrived home that night, fresh ingredients for dinner in hand, he found his girlfriend on the couch. She was clutching at her temples, obviously in pain.

She was hungover, somehow, despite it being four in the afternoon.

"Baby?" he asked, concerned. Fear swelled in his stomach. "I'm home, and I brought-"

"I saw you and Christina out today," she stated bitterly. "You were smiling and looking like you were having the time of your life."

Tobias knew what she was insinuating, but didn't wish to get into that argument. "I went to the market today and picked out some fresh veggies for dinner. I'm planning on making tonight special for us."

"Why? So you won't feel so bad about cheating on me?"

He sighed, dropping the bags on the counter and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'd never cheat on you," he assured her. "Besides, Christina used to be your best friend. She'd never do that to you."

"'Used to' being the operative words!" she growled, raising her voice and standing up. "I bet that bitch would be willing to do it with you!"

"She works with me!"

"That doesn't mean you have to talk to her."

He groaned. "I was just being civil and friendly to her."

"Bullshit."

"I'm not cheating on you, babe!"

She frowned, standing up. "I bet she's a firecracker between the sheets."

"I wouldn't know," Tobias stated honestly. "We're barely friends."

"You don't need to be friends with someone to fuck them."

"For the last time: I'm not having sex with her, babe."

She moved closer to him, fury in her eyes. "Not right now, anyway. You probably were thirty minutes ago."

"I'm going to make dinner-"

She placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back firmly. "Not until we settle this, you're not."

Tobias's eyes fell to her hand and he swallowed hard.

"I want the truth, Tobias. When did she become more important to you than me?"

"Never," he whispered. "She's never been more important to me than you. Why do you think I'm making you dinner and not her? Why do you think I come home to you every night and not someone else? Why do you think I live with you?" He paused. "Because I love you, not her."

She punched him right across the mouth, snapping his head back. "You're such a bloody liar."

Tobias fell to his knees submissively, clutching at his jaw-which felt either broken or badly bruised-saying nothing.

She kicked him, setting his lungs ablaze with hot pain and fire. "You've always thought yourself a smooth talker, haven't you, Tobias? Well, guess what? I'm not falling for that shit anymore."

He felt her fist connect with his back. "I'm not lying to you. I never do."

Ignoring him, she proceeded to push him onto the concrete floor, holding down his arms with one hand and straddling his thighs. Tobias yanked his hands free, but didn't touch her with them, simply using them as a shield for his face. She yelled words that his beaten ears couldn't distinguish, all while landing blows on his stomach.

"Please don't do this," he begged her, his mind thinking back to when she had almost killed him this way two weeks ago.

One day she'll go to far, he remembers thinking, and she'll kill me. (AN: **I can't get italics or Em dashes to work correctly. Sorry.**)

"I love you," she stated bitterly, standing and walking into the kitchen. "But it appears as though you do not care enough about me to be faithful."

He stood up, clutching at his freshly damaged side. "Baby-"

She pulled a knife from the counter, holding it in her dominant hand tightly. "You lied to me, Tobias."

He backed up slowly, quickly hitting a wall that halts his movements. "Put the knife down... We can talk about this. I haven't ever lied to you."

"You just did," she stated, advancing quickly.

Tobias turned away from her and ran towards the front door, knowing he needed to get out of there before something terrible happened-

The knife his girlfriend had been holding slammed into the wall right beside his head. He stilled and felt his face go pale.

"Don't move," she warned. "You taught me how to throw them flawlessly."

He blanched, knowing she probably had fetched another knife. "Please," he pleads. "Stop."

The front door is too far away. He'd never make it. There might as well be an ocean between him and it.

"You've been spending your days with skanks and you have the audacity to lie to me about it."

"I have not!" Tobias defends helplessly.

Her breath reached his neck. "I've given you everything you could ever want."

Except safety. And requited love. And happiness.

"Please," he repeated tiredly. "Babe-drop the knife, please."

She did as he asked, dropping the weapon ceremoniously. It sliced deeply into the side of his neck and shoulder on the way down, eventually tumbling to the floor and bouncing once to hit him shallowly in the calf.

Tobias howled painfully, a flood of crimson pouring from his neck. He fell to his knees and clutched at the wound, his fingers quickly growing slippery with the tangy scent of copper.

"Four?" His girlfriend's voice sounded as if it had just come out of a daze. She was worried now.

He fell to his back, gasping for air. Blood clogged his throat and choked him.

Why did he always go back to her?

"Tobias?" Feminine hands found his shoulders and he felt his head being cradled in a lap.

Tobias coughed, crimson flowing through the gap between his lips. "Pl-please," he gurgled.

He could have tried to crawl away from her, make his way down to get himself some help, but he didn't. He felt glued to her, even in these painful moments.

"Do you love me?" he asked, forcing himself to look at her shaking frame as she sobbed beside him.

She sniffled. "Of course I do. Why would you think otherwise?"

Tobias didn't respond to her, instead choosing to simply smile contentedly. His mind was begging for him to drag himself to the front door, but his heart glued him to the floor. As his vision began to slide out of focus, he closed his eyes, the pain that had been burning in his cuts no longer there. He was going numb, he knew. Dying.

"Damn it! Tobias, I'm so sorry. Don't die on me, okay? I'll call for help. Please forgive me."

He smiled in response, unable to form words but already knowing that he forgave her. He always did. Always. Even when she killed him.

**Review, please, lovely readers. (I apologize sincerely for how bad this probably was, and meant to offend no one. Abuse should not be taken lightly, and I know that.)**


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Divergent Trilogy, Drama, Romance