Once Upon a Time 1. Black and white

I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does. I don't own the Grapes of Wrath, which gets a shout-out; John Steinbeck does.

A/N: This is set after "Welcome to Storybrooke," but ignores all the episodes after that. Actually, it also ignores the end of "Welcome to Storybrooke."

A/N the second: this is my first story in this fandom. It started out as a simple idea of Regina getting a puppy and evolved into something just a little beyond that with my playing around with a Disney classic. So, a scene or two here might look a little familiar. I do hope you enjoy. Be warned, I don't have a beta, so all mistakes are my own. If you want to keep up on updates for this, you can check my FB page (there's a link on my profile) or just check my profile.

The Queen and Her Lady

1: Black and White

The sky was dark with thick clouds over head, blocking out the sun, blanketing the world in festering blackness. Bare trees seemed to bend at sharp angles in the shadows, pointing to Hell, an icy pit away from the light of others. There was a deadly silence only broken by the wailing of a frost wind that brought the crisp smell of decay. The wicked chill in the air froze all in its path, including everything insides of the former Evil Queen. Well, former Queen. Regina doubted that she would ever escape the "evil" title, especially not when even her son was insisting that was all she was. All she ever would be.

She had not been feeling very evil lately, even though she had tried her best to muster those old flames of hatred, to ignite that blazing passion within her to move against her enemies. Nothing came, though. She was burned out, ashes coursing through her body, and smothering all feelings beyond exhaustion and despair. The howling breeze outside could blow away all that was her now, leaving behind a smear of despair and stylish shoes.

Getting out of bed was a chore, hell, breathing seemed like a massive endeavor that she only did from muscle memory, she was certain. The only part of her that bothered to move was her mind. It filled the tenebrous, icy mansion with almost tangible shadows of dejection and melancholy. The shadows stalked, haunted, and whispered to her. They crept passed her and through her, cutting her raw, making her numb. They held her, trapped in frigid clutches; the only touches she would ever know, she was sure of it. The shadows served as her jailers and her home was now a dismal dungeon of her own design.

She could easily escape, physically anyway. The doors were all unlocked and unbroken. She was the broken one, who saw no point in leaving the embrace of the slithering shade. It was the only thing that had touched her in weeks. There was name to it; it encompassed all that surrounded her. She had exhaled it, radiated it, gave birth to it, so she actually could not escape it, as it was a part of her. It might have been all of her. It had moved out of her to infect all around her, but held her close and it was enough for her because there was nothing else.

Everything was gone. Her perfect little town, which she knew deep down was a mere illusion, like everything in her life that was not misery and woe. Those were such constant companions that she should have given them life and raised them as her own. But, she was their offspring, not the other way around. Once, she had a child to raise her own, to protect from those phantoms on her shoulders, but he did not want her. Her son was just another illusion she had come to realize. No matter what she had done, no matter how good she tried to be, she understood now that he would never love her. He was never actually her son. It was all just an illusion, like her resurrected Daniel. A facade, a mask hiding what was only more suffering.

The illusions had shattered, the masks were off, devoured by the darkness from her, surrounding her, engulfing her. It was this darkness that had consumed her beloved horse and her dear, weak father. This blackness that held her together was now rapidly tearing her apart, beckoning her to do the unthinkable and join her adored ones because she was so very tired.

She never imagined the day that she felt so … defeated. The fight went out of her right after she buried her mother and realized that she was truly alone in the world. Briefly, she had toyed with the idea of using a love potion her mother had with her on Henry, if only to have him back in some form, but she had not been able to even read the damned thing. She had gone through the motions and it ended as all things tended to end for her – with a little more of her stolen away. Now, she was truly consumed, haggard, and enervated. She was too exhausted to read, to plot, to scheme, to have her revenge.

So now, Snow White was truly safe because Regina had given up. Without a word, without a thought, without warning, she had collapsed in on herself and gave any ground that she had. She retreated to her own tomb, haunted and weary. She would stay in her house and waste away with the shadows and her own darkness. It was the only thing that she had the energy to do. She would fade away with the sun, behind thick dark clouds, carried away by the wind, never to be seen or heard again.

"Never to be mourned. Death celebrated, possibly a holiday where Henry will smile while holding hands with his Savior and Snow White will be praised for finally destroying the most wicked of witches," was her final thought before the darkness swallowed her.

-8-8-8-8-

Groaning, Regina's eyes glittered open as she woke up on her sofa. Sitting up, she exhaled and could see her breath. The mansion was freezing along with being dark. While her breath hung in the air like a crystal demon and the chill sliced into her, on some level, she did not feel it. It was like she had gotten used to the million needles jabbed into her body. She looked around, taking in the onyx cover that was so thick she thought that she could touch, feel it pressing on her. She considered if she should turn on the lights or at the least turn up the thermostat. She doubted that she would do either since she was not even sure if she would bother to get off the couch, not with the pressure on her body. It did not matter. Nothing mattered and soon that would true in ever aspect of her existence.

She turned slightly, wanting to see what outside looked like, not that she planned on going out. The town was in the path of a massive snowstorm and she saw that it had touched down. A torrent of white flakes the size of coins zipped through the darkness. Her backyard was blanketed in fresh snow. Once upon a time, such weather would have torn a number of emotions and memories from her. Now, there was nothing, just the cold, weight, and flickering shadows.

Dull eyes continued watching the weather, piles of snow coming from inflated, grey clouds. It was like a visible miasma, seeping in to further poison the atmosphere. It would penetrate her with the bitter chill and oppressive night. The snow swirled and swayed, joining her phantoms and shadows, whispering to her, telling her what would be best, what would be the right way to end things.

And then something moved in her yard that at least sparked her curiosity and banished her ghosts for the moment. There was a strange brown lump moved through the pristine snow. She rubbed her burning, tired eyes, thinking that her vision was compromised because she had just woken up. Once her eyes focused, she watched the small lump move again.

"A foolhardy squirrel looking for one last nut?" she decided, moving to the edge of the sofa for better look. Whatever it was appeared too big to be a squirrel. Well, whatever it was, it was probably going to freeze to death. _Perhaps I should join it_. She shook that away, convincing herself that the darkness was not snickering at her.

She decided not to leave things to nature, just in case that was a rat or something in her yard. The last thing she wanted to do was to let a rat in her home because a filthy rodent would eat her body after the shadows devoured her. She would be damned if her body would be fodder for disgusting, dirty rats.

Peeling herself off of the sofa, she had to pause for a moment as her head felt like it was spinning. Her limbs all felt like they were tied down with chains and rocks. Inhaling deeply, she managed to straighten herself out and there were remnants of the woman that once was. The small trace of a memory was enough to keep her standing.

She marched out into the large snowflakes without a coat and in her heels, going right up to the moving lump, leaving deep footprints from the few feet that she walked. A fireball formed in her palm as she loomed over the suspected rodent, only to show that the lump was not a rat. She blinked, thinking that she was seeing things, but the image did not clear up. It was real. It was a puppy. There was a tiny puppy, shivering and whimpering in her backyard.

"What the hell?" Regina wondered with a furrowed brow.

Oddly enough, she found herself leaning down and collecting the puppy into her arms. It curled into her and, for a brief moment, she felt warm. But, the warmth was quickly replaced by biting cold and chilling air. She rushed back into the house, suddenly craving heat.

She turned on the lights on her way to the thermostat. With the house illuminated and warming, Regina turned her attention to the puppy that she was holding. The dog was tucked in close to her chest, whining in a very low tone. She had a flash of Henry as a baby, curled against her while crying because he was sleepy and he always refused to just fall asleep. A tiny smile ghosted across her face and settled somewhere in the darkness of her heart, putting just a little light there.

A sneeze from the dog drew Regina back to reality. "Let's get a look at you."

First, she fetched a blanket to help warm the pup up. She found herself not caring that the dirt-covered, wet puppy would soil her quilt and seemed to move on autopilot. She settled in the living room where the lighting was best and examined the trembling pooch.

The first thing that Regina did was magically clean the dog with a wave of her hand to make sure that she could clearly see any and all wounds. The puppy whined loudly as Regina lifted it and she knew the sound was from pain. There was a deep gash on – Regina checked the gender – her front right paw. There were other cuts and scratches, but the one on her paw seemed to be the worst.

"You are lucky that I can do simple stitches and have a first aid kit because I have no idea if the town still has a vet with the way things are crumbling around me and if it does, she probably would not help me," Regina commented.

The puppy only sneezed again and wiggled, as if trying to move closer to Regina. Again came a smile and she used her magic to bring the first aid kit. She supposed that she could try to use her magic to heal the dog, but she was not a healer by far and had never used magic on a dog beyond just using it to clean the pup. She was not going to experiment on a frightened, crying, injured puppy.

"I do not need to have any more blood on my hands," Regina muttered.

But, doing things the old fashioned way on a frightened puppy proved quite difficult. The little pup squirmed and flailed whenever Regina touched one of her wounds. She was tempted to put a sleep spell on the dog, but did not have to. The puppy proved more exhausted than Regina and passed out ten minutes into the struggle. It was easy to patch her up after that.

"Now what?" Regina could not help wandering as she wrapped the puppy in the blanket, like she was swaddling a baby. She had to resist the urge to rock the pup, but only because she placed the dog down on the sofa. That only lasted a moment, though, because the puppy began crying in her sleep. She clutched the dog to her chest and the canine settled once more.

Without thinking, she rose from the sofa with the dog in her arms, going to the kitchen. She wanted to see what she could possibly feed a dog while they were stuck in the grips of a snowstorm. It was only when she was standing in front of the refrigerator that she realized she had no idea what a puppy could or should eat.

"Well, that answers my previous question. It would seem I need to do some research," Regina said to herself.

Grabbing her laptop, she retreated back to the couch. She placed the puppy on the cushion next to her, but the dog whined as soon as she was away from Regina's body. Regina tried to ignore the noise, telling herself that she did not care, but hardly ten sounds past before the computer was on the coffee table and the puppy was in her lap. All was quiet again beyond the howl of the storm.

"Now, let's see what I can find out about you, like what type of dog you are," she muttered, typing a description of the puppy into the search engine.

It turned out that she had a very young American cocker spaniel in her lap. Judging from her size, Regina considered that she might be around three months old, if she was healthy anyway. At a glance, cleaned and bandaged, she appeared healthy. Her fur was a mostly caramel with a light tan on her paws, her belly, and her muzzle running up the center of her head. Her long ears were a deep chestnut with waves expected of her breed.

With breed and age mostly settled, Regina moved onto find out about food. She ended up at a list with several hyperlinks on how to care for a dog in general. The first thing on the list was about naming the dog, implying that the name was very important. She glanced down at the dozing puppy.

"Do you have a name?" She checked for a collar, but found none. She guessed where the puppy came from would be a mystery, too, for a while. She found herself not caring, though. "We'll worry about a name when you're awake. For now, I need to know what to feed you."

Regina ended up reading through the entire article on how to care for a dog. Thankfully, the puppy was still asleep, but she needed to prepare her home before the dog woke up because she doubted anyone would be out looking for it in the snowstorm. She had no intention of putting the helpless creature back outside in the frozen Hell after taking her in, so she needed to set up for her little houseguest.

She decided to use magic to make sure everything went quickly, so the puppy would not wake up whining, and to avoid any unnecessary trouble. Some things she could not conjure out of thin air, so she teleported to the nearest pet store. It was pitch black and cold, making it difficult to actually shop. Still, with a wave of her hand, she transported the items that she needed to her home and left money on the counter because she was not in the mood for some new issue to come knocking at her door if there were newly installed security cameras in the store.

Returning home, she discovered the puppy rolling around, lost in her blanket and crying out. Sighing, Regina fought down another little smile as she leaned down and collected her charge. The puppy continued lamenting as she tried to free herself from the quilt. Regina uncovered the dog and held her up to look her in the eye.

"Stop this undignified, unladylike behavior right now," Regina ordered. The article said that she could correct bad behavior by interrupting it. She hoped that was true. The puppy straightened up a bit and moved to nuzzle Regina, who sighed again. "Well, that's more ladylike than the crying, but you should not get used to that. Now, about food."

She moved about the house with purpose for the first time in days. She fed the dog as well as herself. She remembered in the article that she supposed to carry the puppy outside after she ate, but from the looks of the snow, they would both freeze to death and be long buried in a sea of white by morning.

She, instead, held the puppy over one of many piddle pads that she had taken from the pet store. Once the dog finally got the idea, Regina then put the pup in the pet bed in a corner of her bedroom. The puppy yelped, happily, and wiggled as Regina tried to cover her with her blanket.

"Stay," Regina ordered as she stepped away. The dog twisted out of her bed to follow. Regina frowned. "No. Stay," she commanded in a forceful tone. The puppy only looked at her. "No."

Regina leaned down and picked the dog up. She put her back in the bed. The pup went back to yelping merrily until Regina walked away. The whining started, but she ignored it, as was suggested by the "how to care for a dog" article. Ignoring bad behavior was supposed to help correct it.

So, she went and took one of the quickest showers that she had ever since Henry was a baby. The pup whined outside the bathroom door and she heard it until she started the water. She believed she should have been annoyed and maybe in another time, she would have been just that. But, for now, she only wanted to keep the poor puppy from being farther traumatized.

While her shower was short, she realized that she had not bathed since coming home and curling up on the sofa. She was not entirely sure when that was, but she knew it was well over a week ago. _No wonder_ _I had to peel myself out of those clothes_. She had been in those for just as long. She decided not think about that and just clean herself as quickly and thoroughly as possible.

When she turned the shower off, she heard the dog crying again. She rushed out, wanting to make sure the dog had not injured herself further or torn at her bandages. As soon as she was out, the whining stopped. In fact, the puppy let out a euphoric yap and walked around with her head held high, though a limp in her step, as Regina changed into her pajamas.

"Look at you, acting like a proud little lady," Regina commented with her first true smile done on purpose in what felt like an eternity.

The pup yelped and seemed absolutely filled with aplomb now. Regina could not help smiling more. She then realized something.

"That would be an excellent name. You are my perfect little Lady. You're the Queen's first lady-in-waiting, you know?" Regina asked and the puppy let out a happy bark while wagging her stubby tail.

Regina knew all too well what it meant to name an animal. When she had named her first horse, she had practically wanted it to live in the house afterward, and sleep in her bed if possible, not that her parents allowed either of those things. She doubted that she would be that attached to Lady because she was not a child anymore.

"All right, Lady, it's time for bed." Regina picked the puppy, who cuddled into her, rubbing her little head against Regina's chest.

Regina returned Lady to her pet bed and covered her. She went to turn out the light and almost tripped over Lady. Regina glared down at the puppy.

"No. Bed," she ordered while pointing to the pet bed.

Lady looked at her hand, but did not move. Her tail wagged as Regina picked her up once more and put her to bed for a third time. Lady barked, sounding pretty pleased until Regina went to her own bed. Whimpering and whining howls cut through the darkness and patter of the snowstorm.

"No, Lady. Go back to bed," she commanded.

The cocker spaniel did not obey and continued carrying on. Regina decided to ignore her. Lady continued to repine, crying and yowling. It was not until she began pulling at the covers did Regina react. Huffing, the former queen looked over the side of the bed.

"No, Lady. You have your own bed," Regina said sternly, pointing once more.

Lady did not seem to accept that, howling at a higher pitch and volume. Regina tried to ignore her again, but the damned dog seemed to know. What Lady knew, Regina could not exactly figure out, but Lady knew. She cried more and Regina huffed.

"Fine, but only for tonight!" Regina stated as she leaned down and picked the tiny ball of whining fluff.

Of course, Lady's lamentations ceased as soon as she was in Regina's arms. Regina settled the puppy on the pillow next to her and then used her magic to bring the dog's blanket over. She covered Lady and swore the pup was grinning. Regina shook her and sighed.

"Well, since you're up here, you can take part in my nightly reading," Regina said to Lady, who looked like she was paying Regina complete attention.

Regina grabbed her book, "The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck. She had only just started it before her world imploded and her son had unfortunately taken a poison meant for the so-called Savior and her life spiral downward ever since. There had not been time to pause, breathe, and read. Not wanting to be bothered by those thoughts, she began reading aloud. Lady crawled closer to her, resting her head on Regina's shoulder. She paused to smile and then continued reading.

After several minutes, Regina noted the breathing in her ear changed. She glanced at the canine next to her and saw that Lady was sound asleep. Another smile spread across her face and she reached over, gently caressing Lady's forehead with her thumb. She noted how soft Lady's fur was and how soft the tiny pup was. Suddenly, it was not so dark and the shadows seemed to retreat from her so slightly.

Regina put her book down on the nightstand and happened to glance out of the window. The snow was still coming down, thick and hard. The chill in the air was gone, though. Warmth hung in the air that seemed almost familiar, wafting through her mind. Or maybe it seemed more like a memory; the faint flickering of a time before the world seemed desolate and bleak to the point where all she wanted to do was lie on the floor and wait for Fate to finish her off.

While she still felt too drained and worn down to leave the house or attend to her usual pursuits, the plan of allowing the umbra to devour her was off the shelf. She felt like she could go on in some form. She could sleep and, when she awoke, she would be able to breathe again. She would help Lady breathe, too.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina takes care of Lady and Emma shows up.


	2. Opened doors

I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does. I don't own the Avengers; Marvel/Disney does. I don't own _The Grapes of Wrath_, _Of Mice and Men_, or _East of Eden_; John Steinbeck does.

2: Opened doors

It snowed for almost two days. The blackness of the past covered in pristine snow. The wind had died down some, but still howled on occasion. The chill remained banished to the outside, soon to be chased away by the sun poking out from passing grey clouds.

Regina and Lady passed the time mostly by sitting on the sofa. Regina read aloud and Lady listened, curled up in Regina's lap or resting her head on the former queen's hip. Briefly, Regina had considered not letting the puppy upon the couch, but quickly decided against it. There was no reason to ban her only company from the sofa. She did not have anyone coming over or anyone to impress or intimidate anymore. The very thought of doing such tired her. So, the whole house was now open to Lady, not that the canine seemed to care. She only wanted to be by Regina.

"Well, Lady, it's nearly lunch time. So, you should be ready for a bathroom break," Regina figured.

Lady barked, as if she understood, which Regina could not rule out. There were many enchanted creatures back in the old realm and Lady could very well be one, but she doubted it because there did not seem to be anything completely abnormal about the pup. Shaking her head to rid herself of the thought because it did not matter what land Lady was from, Regina rose from the sofa. Lady jumped down, ready to follow Regina into a frozen, snow-covered Hell, tail wagging all the way.

Regina walked to the sliding glass door that led to the backyard, wanting to find Lady a proper spot to do her business as soon as possible because she did not want the puppy to think it was all right to do in the house, even if Lady understood to only go on the pads. Lady trotted into the glass, obviously not expecting it. She backed up immediately, limping as she did so because her paw was still injured. She looked up at Regina, as if demanding an explanation for the invisible wall that kept them from going outside.

"There is a door here, Lady. Please, make note of it," she commented with a small smile. Lady snorted, but paid close attention as Regina put her hand on the door handle.

As Regina opened the door, she was coming to comprehend how Lady might have ended up lost in the first place. The puppy tried to bound out into a yard that was covered in over two feet of snow. When Lady saw an open door, it did not matter where it led to, she attempted to go through it. She had charged through every door in the house already, sniffing all around the place. Well, except for Henry's room. Regina refused to open that door. Lady panted, trying her best to get by Regina, who was blocking the opening with her foot.

"Hold on, hold on. We don't want you to get lost," Regina said and waved her hand, clearing the snow via magic. She found herself uncaring that she was breaking her promise to Henry, but she supposed that had to do with the fact that she had used her powers for far more devastating purposes than cleaning her backyard for Lady.

Lady bounced out into the clear backyard and immediately went for the apple tree. Regina scooped the little rascal in her arms to keep her away from the tree and carried her to a place that she felt would be good for Lady to use. Once that sorted business was handled, they returned inside where Regina prepared them both lunch; different meals, of course. Lady, despite her injury, moved around with Regina.

As Regina prepared herself a simple salad, she wondered who was clearing the streets of Storybrooke. After all, it was all an illusion before, but now the illusion was reality and the denizens' reality was a fairytale. Had someone deigned to clear the streets, pick up the garbage, or do any of the other small things to keep the world from devolving into anarchy and chaos? She was not sure and she could not muster the energy to care beyond hoping that Henry was not out and about in such insanity.

When lunch was finished, the pair took another trip to the backyard. They then returned to the sofa and Regina went back to reading, still on _The Grapes of Wrath_. Lady settled on her lap, nosing the pages or her hands on occasion. On occasion, a tiny paw would land on the middle of the page, as if pointing to something important. It was all very normal until the bell rang. Regina looked up in shock while her heart thumped hard in her chest.

"Henry," Regina found herself hoping while Lady barked at the strange noise. For a moment, there felt like there was light in her body and her face brightened somewhat.

Reinvigorated slightly by the thought of her son being at the door, Regina placed the book down on the couch. She almost rushed to the door, the muscles in her legs itching to sprint, but she managed to maintain her composure. The bell rang again and Lady barked; well, it was more of a yap since she was only a puppy. Regina cut Lady off as they got to the door, gently shoving the dog away with her foot to keep her from the opening. Her hand shook as she turned the knob and Lady tried to hop over her foot.

As soon as Regina opened the door, revealing who was there, her face fell and all that lovely energy immediately abandoned her. She remembered now why hope had been sealed away with all of the world's horrors in Pandora's box. Her son had not come to see her. Instead, she stood face to face with the spawn of the bane of her existence.

"Miss Swan," Regina said blandly, unable to muster her typical disdain. Before Emma could respond, Lady tried to jump over Regina's foot once to get outside. Regina frowned and gently pushed Lady away. "Please, come in."

Emma appeared confused, which was no surprise. Considering her genetics, Emma was probably born in a state of perpetual puzzlement. But, she did not care about the blonde's brain or lack there of. She cared about making sure that Lady did not dart out of the house, get lost in a snow bank, and then freeze to death.

"Miss Swan, please, come in," Regina insisted, opening the door wider for Emma to get the hint and using it as a barrier to block Lady.

The blonde continued to look bewildered, but at least entered. She did not stomp her snow-covered boots before she did so, but Regina honestly did not care about that. Regina closed the door so quickly that it made Emma jump. Regina did not pay Emma any mind and made sure that Lady was still in the house. The puppy let out a short, disappointed whine. She was as close to pouting as a dog could be. The sound drew a glance from Emma and the sheriff's mouth practically hit the floor.

"Regina, is that a puppy?" Emma inquired, as if she did not know what one was. In a past life, Regina would have snapped at this idiotic question in less than a second, but not now.

"What do you want, Miss Swan? There's nothing left of mine to disappear," Regina replied, her usual sting not there. The statement merely sounded tired and slightly sorrowful, even to her own ears. She found that she did not care, though.

"I'm not here to take anything. I haven't taken anything," Emma insisted, her jaw tense and body ready for a fight.

Regina was all too aware that was the makings of an argument, but she did not rise to the occasion. Nothing sparked in her to argue with. She found that she just wanted to collapse on the sofa with Lady in her lap and finish her book.

"What can I do for you, Miss Swan?" Regina asked with a low sigh. The woman had her son and she had not killed the blonde's simpering knave of a mother. In fact, she had not killed anybody. Their business should have been concluded.

Lady must have picked up on Regina's attitude because she growled, as best a little spaniel pup could, at Emma. The sheriff arched an eyebrow while looking at the pup, who despite her growling was practically sitting on Regina's feet. Emma clearly did not know what to make of Lady.

"Why do you have a puppy?" Emma asked as distracted as a toddler with a toy.

"What do you want, Miss Swan?" Regina asked bluntly with another sigh as Lady stood between them. The dog continued growling and practically glaring at the blonde.

"Oh, um …" Emma blinked, gathering her thoughts. "The snow."

"Yes, it snowed, as it tends to do in Maine in the winter." The comment was made blandly, almost lifelessly.

"Right, but Henry doesn't have any winter clothes with me. It seemed fine until the storm and, well, now it's impossible to get through the streets to go buy anything," Emma explained.

There were dozens of smart remarks in Regina's brain, but none of them made it to her tongue. There was no point to it. Not only had she lost already, but she felt it for the first time in her life. She felt it in parts from time to time, but it had practically stabbed her in the chest after Henry had walked off with Emma after almost blowing himself up to destroy magic. He had not even looked back.

"He wants to play in the snow," Emma added, as if to help Regina with a decision that she had actually already made.

The mention of the snow made the brunette think back to years gone by, happier times. Henry used to like making snow angels when he was a toddler. The first time she had taken him in the snow, he had barely been able to walk, but he had marveled at it and reveled in it, giggling and just throwing it in the air. She had genuinely laughed, warmed by his joy. Many winters had been spent in the backyard, watching him make snowmen named after his favorite comic book heroes. He would come up with epic stories about the army of snowmen in the yard and she listened with half-an-ear. How she wished she could have that time back. She would participate instead of watch, she would hold him tight when he needed to warm up his frosty cheeks, and she would share cups of hot chocolate with him while they laughed over the day. _But, it's too late. He's gone. Forever_.

"Regina?" the sheriff said, taking her away from her thoughts.

"Come," Regina said and Emma looked like she was ready to fall over. Apparently, the blonde was not expecting it to be that easy, but there was no reason to be difficult or struggle over. There was nothing to gain, nothing to win, because the war was over. That idea drew what little energy Regina had gathered over the past couple of days right out of her. _You've lost. The woman in front of you has defeated you. And the worst of it is, she defeated you a year ago and you were too blinded and foolish to notice. You've been making a fool out of yourself for a year_. She struggled to block out the voice as she moved toward the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Emma inquired with a slight frown.

"To Henry's room for his things."

"Wait, what? Just like that?"

The former queen sighed; it felt like the only thing she could do around the slow-witted sheriff. _To think, this is what defeated you. That means you're even more pathetic and dim than she is_, a voice whispered in her head. She was learning to ignore the shadows because nothing mattered, even what they hissed in her mind. It was just more difficult to do with the sheriff standing before her, provoking the phantoms in her mind.

"Miss Swan, do you want the things or no?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think it'd be so easy!" Emma blurted out.

Regina did not say anything, just turned to the stairs and marched to Henry's room. Lady was right behind her, climbing the stairs. She made sure to slow down, so that the pup could keep up with her. Lady yelped, looking up at her and doing a dog's best version of a smile. Emma trailed them, actually being quiet. Regina figured that Emma was silent because she was confused as to why they were not fighting.

Henry's door was remained closed. It was too painful to leave open and see into the room, allowing his ghost to haunt her, reminding her that no matter what she did for him, he would not be coming back. She had failed, she had lost, and he had left … several times. How horrible a mother must she have been to lose her son so many times? She had only run away a couple of times from her own mother, but she understood that her mother loved her, as much as woman with no heart could, and she had loved her mother. Henry did not love her. He made that perfectly clear with words unspoken at the well. Before that thought could devour her, she blinked herself out of it and opened the door. Lady charged in as soon as she could fit through the crack.

Regina hesitated, as if halted by a barrier. This was a room that was filled with all she had left and now she had to surrender it, too. He was never coming back. Never. _Never_ … a voice hissed in her ear. _I know_, she mentally responded.

"What things do you need?" Regina inquired, pained to part with these few items that told her once upon a time she had a son that adored her and that she adored in return. Of course, now she was led to believe she only thought that she adored him because everyone let her know, including the woman before her, that she did not have the ability to properly love anything.

"Uh … you know, just winter stuff. Boots, gloves, a fleece or heavier coat, stuff like that," Emma answered with a shrug, her eyes wandering the room with almost as much enthusiasm as Lady.

Regina rolled her eyes. She doubted that Emma really knew what Henry needed for the winter. She went to his closet and pulled out one of his suitcases. Lady was right there when the door was open, inspecting the closet, sniffing items and scratching at boxes of comic books.

"No, Lady," Regina scolded the puppy. She did not want Lady to damage Henry's things.

Lady whined, but followed Regina as she put the suitcase on the bed and began filling it with things that her son would need to survive the winter. Lady pattered around her feet, examining what she was doing and trying to get her attention. Regina glanced down at Lady, just to be sure that she did not step on her. Every now and then, she leaned down to scratch a cute, fluffy ear.

"This should be good enough. There is more if you find it isn't," Regina said as she closed the suitcase with a click.

"All right. Uh … thank you," Emma said, taking the case, her spoils of war.

Regina shrugged and then motioned to door. Emma moved without a word thankfully. Lady followed Regina out of the room and the door was closed again, but Regina could still feel the specter of her absent son. Her insides twisted a bit, but she did not have time to dwell on that because Lady almost tripped her up.

"Lady," the former queen gently chided, leaning down to pick the puppy up. For some reason, that seemed to get Emma's attention.

"Regina, who's puppy is that?" the blonde asked.

"I believe you're done here, Miss Swan," Regina stated sharply. She did not want Emma's attention on Lady and her glare said that as much as her tone. All she needed was for the sheriff to decide Lady was another spoil of war.

Emma held her hands up, surrendering, which was a huge joke to Regina. This woman, who had taken her whole life and dared to come back for more, had the nerve to mock-surrender. Spiting in Regina's face would have been less insulting.

Thankfully, Emma left immediately. Regina had to hold onto Lady until the door was closed. She returned to the couch, Lady went back to her lap, and reading resumed. She calmed down a bit, but she continued to feel hollow and troubled. Suddenly, Lady nuzzled her free hand. She smiled and petted the puppy's head.

"Good, Lady," Regina whispered and leaned down to kiss the top of Lady's head. Lady yelped happily.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma left the mansion more than a little confused by what the hell she had just witnessed. She had not known what to expect when she went to Regina's house, but so many things had surprised her there. She was one of the few people that did think Regina was in her house, but she did not think that Regina was in the state that she was. She doubted the ex-mayor even realized the state that she was in.

Regina's skin was pale with a tint of yellow to it and the blue of her veins peeked out in her neck, which she did not bother to hide with makeup. Her eyes were sunken in with lines and dark circles underneath. Her cheeks were slightly hollowed, as if she had not been eating much. Her clothing hung off awkwardly, as if she had lost weight, and was probably unaware. Emma could not help wondering if the usually put-together woman had glimpsed a mirror since retreating into her home.

Truthfully, Emma had expected worse when she first rang the doorbell. She had planned to kick the door in if there was no answer after sixty seconds, which she had timed. Of course, she was totally stunned and was sure that she gapped like an idiot when Regina opened the door. A puppy being there had not helped.

"What the hell is she doing with a puppy?" she wondered aloud as she lugged Henry's suitcase down the street. She had to walk because the streets were stacked with almost three feet of snow. She could not believe there were no snowplows out, but apparently no one volunteered to do that job. _Everybody's too high and mighty_.

She could not figure out what Regina was doing with a puppy or where she might have gotten one. She did not think on it much as she drew closer to Mary Margaret's apartment and slowed down considerably. She was not ready to go back and face a million obvious questions like, "Did Regina kill you?" or questions she could not answer like, "Why didn't Regina kill you?"

Before she left for the mansion, her family had begged her not to go, even Henry. But, he needed clothes and she actually needed to get away. The little apartment with the four of them stuck in there had driven her just a little stir crazy, especially since her parents were pushing so hard to be her parents and her son was pushing hard to be her son. Henry did everything that she asked and was in her face every moment to show that he did while her parents kept offering her things. Worse of it all, all three of them wanted to make sure she remembered that she was the Savior and a princess and … just thinking about it made her take a detour as she drew closer to the apartment.

They were pushing and pulling her in all directions and she did not know how to deal with it. She needed more time. She needed to think, but she could not think because they always made her head spin. She needed something to take her mind off of everything happening around her, everything happening to her.

"It's like everyone's gone nuts … or maybe I've gone nuts. After all, I wanted to check on her," Emma muttered, shaking her head.

The main reason she went to the mansion, beyond the fact that Henry truly did need winter clothes, was that she needed to see if Regina was, in fact, in her home. Her family insisted that the ex-mayor was not; well, only after they found using that Regina would kill her as excuse for her to not go was not working. They assumed she went into hiding, like she had when they accused her of killing Archie. She suspected something more ominous; they chose to ignore the possibility. For some reason, that bothered her just as much as everything.

"What do they think, if they ignore it, it won't happen? Or it has nothing to do with them?" she scoffed and then decided that she needed something to take her mind off of everything.

She wished that she could just forget everything, sometimes, and go back to her old life. It was so much less complex and confusing. She ended up going to Granny's. She had to have earned a cup of cocoa just from surviving her first snowstorm with her family. The only saving grace was that she did not have to deal with Neal because he decided to go back to New York to try to deal with his fiancée.

"At least I don't owe Gold anymore favors considering this one complicated my life even further and God knows I didn't need that." Okay, maybe she had earned something a little stronger than cocoa.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina and Lady were curled up on the sofa again. Regina was now reading "Of Mice and Men." Lady was listening as usual and cuddling into Regina's stomach. The dog was healed for the most part and she had removed the bandages a couple of days ago. Their quiet time was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Lady perked up and barked.

Regina did not make the mistake of hoping for Henry. It had been well over a fortnight since she had seen him. He had not called and she dared not try for fear that he would not speak with her. She correctly assumed it was Miss Swan at her door, yet again.

"Come in, Miss Swan," Regina said, again keeping Lady away from the opened door with her foot.

Emma nodded and stepped in. Regina almost closed her in the door to keep Lady from going outside. Lady barked indignantly, but then turned her attention to the newcomer. She stood by Regina, but was quiet this time.

"What can I do for you, Miss Swan?" Regina asked.

"Henry needs some books for school," Emma kind of explained.

"Do you know the names of the books?"

Emma went into her pocket. "He wrote down the names." She pulled out a wrinkled slip of paper.

"He could've come himself," Regina found herself saying before she could stop herself. She missed him, even when she tried not to think about him. His essence seemed to whisper in the empty halls, cutting through her heart and mind.

Emma opened her mouth, probably about to put her foot in it, but actually thought better of it. She closed her mouth and took a moment to think. Regina was surprised by that since she had always pinned Emma to be more like her father and utterly impulsive.

"I think he's scared to come here because you haven't been seen around. He doesn't want to come in and find you in a bad way," Emma explained.

It sounded almost plausible. Regina had not left the house in weeks. She shopped at night once a week, teleporting into closed stores and leaving money for whatever she took. She did not walk Lady, allowing the puppy to do all her business in the backyard. But, if Henry was really worried, he would have called or come by. No, he was enjoying his real family, the ones that truly loved him and that he loved in return.

"Let's get the books," Regina said and moved to Henry's room. Lady stared at Emma for a second before following Regina.

When they got to the room, the sheriff told Regina the books. Regina knew exactly where they were and grabbed the two workbooks from the desk. She then motioned to the door, wanting out of the room and wanting Emma out of her house. The blonde paused at the front door.

"Are you okay, Regina?" Emma asked out of the blue.

Regina regarded Emma with haggard eyes. What a ridiculous question! She had her trust broken with her supposed therapist, been accused of a murder that she had not committed, had said crime used to poison her son against her further before having him walk away from her entirely, almost died to save her mortal enemy with relatively no thanks for the act, and last but not least, been manipulated into killing her own mother after being teased with the idea that her mother might love her properly. No, she was not okay and she had not been in decades, but now she could not even hide it.

"What does it matter, dear?" Regina countered. It was not like anyone cared.

For a second time, Emma opened her mouth and thought better of what she was about to say. She took a moment and then simply said, "Thanks for the books."

Regina nodded and opened the door while making sure to keep Lady away. Emma was barely out of the door before Regina practically slammed the door shut. Lady looked up at her and yapped.

"Come on, Lady. Let's finish our book and then we'll have supper," Regina said in a subdued tone.

Lady whimpered and followed Regina to the sofa. Before Regina could allow her thoughts to take over, Lady was in her lap and cuddling into her. She petted the puppy, scratching her ears and rubbing under her chin. Lady let out some rather pleased whines. Lady then rolled around Regina's lap while making sure not to fall off of the former queen.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Regina asked and Lady barked.

Regina smiled and enjoyed cuddling Lady. She felt her body settle along with something inside of her. It was as if, at least for the moment, her soul was at peace.

-8-8-8-8-

The bell rang and Regina could not be bothered to get off of the couch because she knew who it was. She did not want to see Miss Swan or listen to her questions that bordered on pity, especially from the person that had defeated her. She glanced at the door as Lady darted over to it, barking at the sound of the bell.

"Lady, stay," Regina ordered in a stern voice.

Lady turned to look at Regina, but her attention went back to the door when the bell rang. The puppy had learned that the sound meant the door was going to open. Regina sighed as she moved to block pup while opening the door. Emma seemed to learn, too, ducking into the house quickly and Regina shut the door.

"What can I do for you today, Miss Swan?" Regina asked. Lady moved to stand in front of her, like she was trying to protect Regina.

"Henry wanted some comic books," Emma answered.

"And he could not come himself this time because?"

"I want him to finish his homework before he gets them."

"How maternal," Regina commented, but there was still no bite to her words. Again, she just sounded exhausted and done. All she wanted to do was curl up on the sofa and hold Lady to her chest to soothe her throbbing soul. "Do you know what comic books?" she asked to avoid her thoughts.

"Yeah, the Avengers. I had to write down the numbers."

Regina nodded. She had no desire to go to Henry's room once more. She was not in the mood to be greeted by what appeared to be the room of a dead child. Henry was not the dead one. She was. She was as dead to him as her own mother to her, dead to the world, but unlike her mother, no one mourned her. No one cared.

"You know the way by now, Miss Swan. His comic books are arranged in boxes under his bed and in his closet. They are sorted alphabetically by title and then by issue," Regina said, turning back to the sofa where _East of Eden_ awaited her.

The former queen did not pay Emma any mind, sitting down and tucking her feet underneath her. Lady was right behind her, hopping up and tucking herself under Regina's arm. Regina scratched Lady's ear and felt a little grounded again.

She heard Emma's ascent, but paid it no mind. Lady popped up when she heard the door open, but by the time she got to the stairs, the door shut again and Emma was coming down. Lady whined.

"I found them," Emma felt the need to announce before she hit the landing. Regina did not feel the need to respond. "Uh … Regina, you doing all right?"

"Does it matter?" Regina countered. The only thing on Earth that cared if she lived or died was the mischievous ball of fur waiting for a door to open, so she could misbehave.

"Regina," Emma said.

"Good day, Miss Swan," Regina replied without bothering to look up.

Emma sighed loudly, but went to the door. She opened it and then sighed again. Regina looked up as she heard Lady charging.

"Regina, look—" the blonde tried to say, but Regina was not listening.

"Lady, no!" the former queen commanded, which gave Lady pause. Regina quickly reached for Lady's current favorite toy, a squeaking rubber duck. Giving it a squeeze got the puppy to look at her. She squeezed a couple of times while cutting her eyes to Emma. "Good day, Miss Swan," she repeated, much sharper than before.

Emma blushed and had the decency to look sheepish, realizing what almost happened. She hastily exited the house while Lady went for her rubber duck. Regina sighed in relief and realized how quickly her heart was beating. She took a few calming breaths and reached down to pet Lady, assuring herself that the puppy was still there.

"Stay, Lady. Stay," she whispered.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Henry comes over. It doesn't end well.


	3. Ignoring it

I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does. I don't own the Grapes of Wrath, which gets a shout-out; John Steinbeck does.

3: Ignore it

Emma returned home to the cramped apartment that she was sharing with Henry and her … parents. The concept of parents remained a point of conflict for her. She was not sure how to feel about them, so she mostly avoided it by keeping busy. It was oddly easy to do, especially with the drama of Cora and trips to New York. But, those were actually other things that she did not desire to think about and she was doing a damn good job of acting like they did not happen.

She tried her best to devote all of her brain cells that were not destroyed by alcohol at night to raising Henry and doing her job as sheriff. Of course, being sheriff in a town full of fairytale characters made for a dull moment rare and she could hardly manage through their problems. She was not even sure it she could have a coherent conversation anymore, mostly because she could barely believe what she was saying.

"Hey, Emma," Mary Margaret greeted her as she entered the apartment. Her eyes shined as soon as they settled on the sheriff. She sounded bright and hopeful, as if this would be the very moment that she and Emma's relationship shifted into the realm of normal mother/daughter.

Emma was not sure if they would ever make it to normal. She was not sure if anything would ever be normal. Being honest with herself, she was not sure if she would ever be able to be a daughter, even though she wanted a mother. She just was not sure how to go about having one, especially one that was Snow White. Hell, she could not even think of her as Snow White for more than a couple of seconds.

"Hey," was Emma's response, much more subdued. What else was there to say and how was she supposed to sound? She was saved from an awkward silence by the loud footsteps of her son's approach. He did not walk as much as stomp nowadays. She was not sure why that was.

"Hey, Emma, did you get 'em?" Henry inquired with a grin.

"Yeah, kid, I got 'em. Did you finish your homework?" Emma countered.

"Of course. So, did you find all of them?"

She laughed. "I just said yeah. You keep 'em real organized." In fact, it was beyond what she expected of a ten-year-old. Everything had been neat and orderly. Every comic was kept in a plastic with a cardboard back to keep them in perfect order. There were also more than she imagined. He had a serious collection going.

"Yeah, they used to be a mess and I never could find the ones I wanted to read again, but then…" He paused, as if considering his words. "_She_ put them in order and I kept it up."

"Well, that's good," Emma said with some unease in her heart. She was not sure why she felt that way after all Regina had done. Henry had every right to walk away from Regina, to disassociate with her in whatever way that he could and if that meant referring to her as "she" then so be it. But, a small bit of her disagreed because she internally winced whenever he said it. She tried not to think about it; it was on a growing list of things.

"So, can I have them?" he requested.

She had been expecting him to ask about Regina, but she was learning that somehow he had taken to dealing with tough issues like she did – by ignoring them. _Maybe it's genetic_. If issues were books, Regina would be an encyclopedia and Henry was very aware of that. Henry probably did not have the time or emotional depth to deal with Regina and probably had no idea where to begin if he did want to deal with even a little at a time. So, she handed over the comics without pushing him to ask after the ex-mayor.

"Thanks, Emma. You're the best," Henry declared with a bright grin.

Emma only shrugged. She did not feel like the best right now. She forced herself not to examine or analyze why that was. She knew that she would not come up with any answers and probably just hurt her head a little more, as that was always the case when she thought about her circumstances.

"How did you even get those? Regina let you take them?" Mary Margaret asked incredulously.

Emma shrugged. "Yup, she handed those over just as she handed over the school books and the winter clothes." She did not see why the short-haired woman was still so surprised. She continued to tell them that Regina offered no kind of trouble when she went there. She was fairly certain they literally did not listen to her.

"She's probably up to something," Mary Margaret proclaimed.

Emma bit her tongue before she said something insulting. While she had no idea what to do with parents, she was happy to have some of her own. So, she tried to watch her tongue around them to avoid upsetting them. She did not want to push them away. Of course, she knew that she was not exactly welcoming them with wide, warm open arms either. She kind of kept them at arm's length, which she had convinced herself was helping her deal with everything.

"I don't think so. She seems … I dunno, tired, I guess would be the best word for it. It could be worse. I used to drive by her house and she had all of the lights out. I didn't know if she was home then, but sometimes I thought I caught a glimpse of her shadow or something," the blonde explained.

"We told you she wasn't in there. She was probably hiding where she was before," Mary Margaret pointed out.

"Before." The unspoken part there being, "Before we accused her of murder and told her son about it." Emma knew that she was prone to make mistakes, but the thing that was starting to crop up in her life was making a mistake and then pretending it was all right, even when she knew it was not. She had messed up and for some reason, never admitted it beyond acknowledging that Archie was alive. She should have spoken to Henry about it, but she did not and she was not sure why, except for the fact that everyone just accepted that she did not have to talk about it.

Emma felt the headache coming, so she did her best to stop thinking about what happened. _If I don't think about, I don't have to deal with it. If I don't have to deal with it, I can continue being sane and keep having a family … or whatever this is_. She decided to keep the conversation going to make sure she did not think about anything.

"I was never sure, though, if I was seeing her. For a while, I thought she was in there plotting, but then…" Emma paused and glanced at Henry. She doubted this was an appropriate conversation to have in front of him and she wanted to be more mindful of stuff like that. There were things kids were not supposed to know.

"But, then she tried to kill you?" Henry chimed in almost eagerly.

_Is he trying to come up with reasons to hate her?_ Emma did not have the answer to that, but it seemed like he was grasping at straws to make sense of this new, mad world. If he did that then more power to him, but what she was going to say probably would not help.

"I asked around and everyone who lives over there said they hadn't seen or heard from her since … that day at the well," Emma continued. "From experience, a bad day or series of bad days in this case, house quiet, lights always off, and no one's heard from a person in weeks tends to equal hanging from the rafters more than plotting." She hoped Henry did not understand that. He did not need to know and worry that she seriously thought Regina was at risk for suicide, even now. The shattered appearance that greeted her every time she went to the mansion made Emma nervous with each visit, wondering which one would be the last one where she found Regina on the floor with slit wrists and Lady, paws covered in her blood, nuzzling her, trying to wake her up.

Henry's face scrunched up. "Hanging from the rafters? Why would she be doing that? Like for a spell or something?"

Emma shook her head. "Never mind. After a while, I figured that she wasn't plotting and you guys know what I did after that. After the snowstorm, I decided to use it as an excuse to see her. I mean, you did need your winter stuff, but I didn't have to ask her. She looked like death warmed over and your room almost had a tomb like feel."

"You mean like she wants to kill me?" Henry asked, his face twisted up even more so. Now, he was reaching and he clearly knew that.

"No, no, nothing like that. It was just clear that she hasn't touched in your room, probably hadn't gone in it until I showed up. It's like the room of a dead kid. Maybe like a shrine," she explained as best she could.

Henry nodded, but the way his forehead wrinkled, he was obviously concerned. "Is she all right?"

Emma did not want to lie to him, but she did not want to worry him. No, Regina was not all right. The fire in her eyes had gone out. There were cracks in the mask, huge, massive cracks, and Regina did not bother to try to hide them. It was just all out in the open, for any and everyone to see. The slump in her shoulders and the lack of argument said it all – Regina gave up.

Regina was done and that was the thing that troubled her. She doubted someone with fight in them like Regina could just stop fighting. The ex-mayor did not seem to know how to handle that, either. Not from her sickly appearance and her attitude, or lack there of really. Regina was walking a dangerous line and either did not know or did not care. She suspected it was the latter.

"She's getting better, I think. I mean, she seems to mostly just sit on the couch and read, but I think Lady keeps her from getting too depressed," Emma explained, trying to convince him as much as herself. Regina was a fighter. She _could not_ just stop fighting altogether.

"Lady?" Mary Margaret echoed with an arched eyebrow.

"Oh, Regina's puppy," Emma answered, remembering that was not common knowledge. She was just used to the canine now. "They're actually pretty cute together."

"Cute?" Mary Margaret sneered.

"You have to see it to believe it," Emma conceded.

"Where did she get a puppy? Does she plan to use it in a spell?" Henry wondered aloud.

Emma's eyebrows drew close together. "No, she's just taking care of the puppy. Lady seems to keep her calm and she takes good care of Lady from what I can tell. I think it's a good thing." It came back to the idea that she feared Regina might commit suicide. Taking care of Lady seemed to keep her away from that edge. Regina was aware that Lady needed her and she seemed to want to be there for the dog.

"A good thing? She's the Evil Queen, Emma! It's never good with her! It's always evil because she's the Evil Queen!" Henry cried.

"She's not hurting the dog, Henry. She's taking good care of Lady," Emma argued. Despite the things that she knew Regina was capable of, she still internally winced when he said "Evil Queen." A child should not believe his mother was pure evil through and through. Even Neal had been able to make some peace with his father and his father was the Dark One. But, she shook that away because she did not want to think about Neal and was again happy that he went back to New York to deal with his fiancée. Hopefully, that would take a good, long time.

"Oh, yeah? How did she even get a dog? She probably stole it from someone to hurt someone else! She might even be holding it for ransom and torturing it when you're not there!" He sounded so frantic that she had to grab. She held him tightly, though gently, by the shoulders.

"Henry, calm down! It's just a puppy and she's taking great care of Lady. She didn't kidnap her or anything, at least I don't think. Look, kid, not everything Regina does is evil," Emma stated and Mary Margaret immediately scoffed.

"She's the Evil Queen," Henry repeated.

Emma wished that she had a degree in psychology to better understand what Henry was going through. He went from pretending Regina did not exist to now insisting _everything_ she did was pure evil. This could not be healthy for him, but she did not know what to do to help him. She could not even help herself.

"It's just a puppy and I doubt Regina's doing anything evil considering she hasn't left the house in almost a month," Emma pointed out. No, Regina was too broken to scheme and Emma hated that she felt a bit guilty because of her part in Regina's practical demise. She supposed that at least showed she was still somewhat a good person because she was sure Regina did not feel guilt or regret for any of her actions. Regina was just exhausted and that was why she was done.

_Of course, that's neither here nor there is it?_ While Regina had done many things, they were not the things that ran through Emma's mind. They were not the things that whispered to her to flee, but also made her stay. They were not the things that floated through her brain and confused her. She owned those and she wanted to lock them away forever in the dark, cold corners of her mind.

"Are you sure that she hasn't left the house?" Mary Margaret inquired. There was an odd look in her eyes, partly curious, but also part troubled.

"No one I've spoken to has seen her on the street and anytime I randomly show up at her house, she's there. She's not going anywhere," Emma answered.

Mary Margaret nodded and Emma was certain that she saw some sorrow in her eyes. She knew that Mary Margaret was almost as confused on her feelings toward Regina as Henry. While Mary Margaret rarely mentioned the years that Regina had spent as her stepmother, when she did bring it up, there was something that seemed brokenhearted about it. It was more than betrayal, but this underlying hurt as if Mary Margaret still had feelings there for Regina, which only made things worse because they all knew that Regina had nothing but hatred for Mary Margaret.

Sometimes, Emma used to wonder how deep the issues ran between Regina and Mary Margaret. Of course, it had to be deeper now since Mary Margaret tricked Regina into killing her own mother and after only a couple of days of guilt seemed to accept what she had done as righteous and self-defense. According to the town, anyway. Emma had put it on a list of "don't think about" and tucked it into one of the many compartments of her mind because the few times that she had thought about, she never came to the general consensus.

Emma decided to get busy to avoid talking about this anymore because it was making her think. She left to go on patrol without saying anything, just turning and leaving. The town was weird now, more so than before even without the life threatening situations. Some people had decided that they disliked their roles in Storybrooke and had to be "coaxed" into doing their jobs, like the guys that were supposed to plow the streets during the snowstorm. David was good at coaxing; Emma did not have the patience for it.

Of course, the way that he coaxed people left a bad taste in her mouth. It was not that he was doing anything wrong. He just kept promising that soon they would all go back home and everything would be all right. _Well, what if someone didn't want to go "home"?_ Like her, for example. Of course, she seemed to be in a tiny minority considering what was going on in town.

"People abandoning their responsibilities to chase a fantasy while some people struggle just to get through," the sheriff grumbled, not entirely sure what she was pissed about there.

Emma hated the idea of people just walking away from their jobs just because they wanted to go back to living their fairytale. If she of all people had not run screaming into the night and could keep being sheriff, then they could continue being garbage men, nurses, and crossing guards. She was surprised the whole town had not erupted into chaos, but it seemed like things might be getting back to normal. Whatever normal was. _Maybe I'm just lying to myself_.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina was curled up on her couch, as had become her norm. She had a book in hand and Lady on her lap. Lady was groaning more than usual and nipping at Regina's fingers, distracting her from reading. No amount of petting or kissing could get Lady to stop.

"You don't want to hear this one, Lady? Or have we exhausted your tolerance on Steinbeck?" Regina asked and the puppy whined. "He is rather depressing, is he not?" Lady gave her a look that drew a small smile out of her. "All right, no more Steinbeck. I have some poetry books that I haven't had a chance to sample. Perhaps poetry will clear your mood. I once enjoyed poetry when I was much younger. But, first, let's get you a treat for soldiering through a book you're not enjoying."

Lady yapped, all in favor of that. Regina put the book down and reached for the closed container of treats that she kept right on the coffee table. More often than not, she did not feel like leaving the sofa, so plenty of things were within arm's reach, especially since there were even times she did not feel like doing magic.

Once Lady had her treat, Regina had to drag herself off of the sofa. "I'm starting to feel my age, Lady. Maybe laying on the sofa isn't the best idea for the whole winter. It is bleak and cold, but as long as I allow my mood to reflect that, I cannot properly care for you. So, today will be the last day of our self-imposed insulation. You deserve walks, and parks, and chases," Regina declared.

Lady seemed to agree as she let out a merry bark. Regina smiled again and began looking through one of her many bookshelves for something more puppy-appropriate. The doorbell interrupted her search. Lady barked and charged the door.

"Lady, stay," Regina commended sternly with a frown. Lady was much too happy to see Miss Swan in her opinion, but that did show her that she needed to take Lady out. The pup was too energetic and needed to socialize.

Regina's thoughts were thrown off as she heard keys in the door. Lady perked up at that sound, too; it was new to her. Her ears moved as the keys turned in the locks. Regina moved to pick Lady up before the door opened. Henry stepped in and it was a good thing that Lady was in her arms because he left the door wide open. Lady wiggled and yelped, trying to make a mad dash for the outside.

"You do have a puppy," Henry gasped with wide eyes.

"Henry, may you please shut the door," Regina entreated, her fear of Lady racing out overriding her joy that her son was home. She could feel her heart pounding, as if it were going to break through her ribs, and her stomach had fallen into the bottoms of her feet.

"What are you doing with her?" Henry inquired, almost as if accusing her of something. The glare in his eyes cut her to the bone and her soul began to hemorrhage.

"With who? Lady?" Regina countered as her eyebrows curled up slightly, creasing her forehead. She could not have done anything with anyone else. She had not been outside – well, not beyond magically moving about for food and that was at night, when the streets were still and quiet. The only person to have seen her was Emma and she had not touched the high and mighty Savior.

Henry only huffed and slammed the door closed. Lady jumped in her arms, but growled in his direction. He marched up stairs, stomping all the way. Lady barked until he reached his room and slammed that door shut. The puppy whimpered and curled into Regina's chest. Regina sighed and, for a moment, considered following Henry, wanting to beg him to stay. It was that compulsion that kept her away from him, though. She was all too aware the desire to hold him close was one of the many reasons that she lost him.

"I turned into my mother with him, Lady," Regina lamented, absently scratching the dog's ear.

Lady gave her a look with far too expressive brown eyes as Regina returned to the sofa. The puppy regarded Regina with a tilted head and then nudged Regina's hand with her nose. She whimpered, a short, little whine. It was something that she did to get Regina's attention, but it did not work. The former queen did not react beyond giving Lady's muzzle a little caress. She did not have it in her to give more, not when her son was in her home and not speaking to her.

"Was I always like that?" Regina searched her memory, wondering if she could pinpoint the moment that she became her mother. Not that she wanted to think about her mother because despite all of the horrible things Cora had done to her, she had still been the instrument of her mother's demise and that pain was fresh.

She had tried her best to avoid being her mother, even though she loved Cora. Cora was her mother, after all. Her mother had hurt her plenty growing up and she did not want to pass that agony on. She had also read plenty of parenting books since they existed in this world and did her best to follow all of the good advice. But, despite her efforts and devotion, she had lost her son and much faster than her own mother had lost her. _Clearly, I was worse than even my own mother. I can only be a monster_.

Regina did not have time to wallow in her depression. She heard Henry upstairs, coming back to the stairs. Lady trotted off to meet him, hackles up, growling as best she could. He raced down the steps and she almost scolded him, but the words died before they even touched her tongue. It would not do any good, anyway. Lady growled and barked as he descended.

"What did you do, put a spell on her to make her mean? Does she turn into, like, Cerberus or something?" Henry sneered. His eyes burned with displeasure, hatred.

Regina was not sure how to respond to such naked hostility. It not only hurt, but it drained her even more. She decided to meet it with a tip from an article she read about puppies and figured it was best to ignore it. She doubted that she could misdirect it, like she did with Lady.

"Well, aren't you going to say something?" Henry demanded, almost shouting.

Regina was silent. What was there to say beyond begging him to come back and stay? He would not and it would only hurt more to watch him leave. Lady barked, though, louder than before, obviously trying to scare him.

Henry huffed. "Why would you put a spell on a dog? That's just pathetic, like when you tried to make me love you. You won't get away with this spell either. You're probably trying to use that puppy to hurt somebody, but we won't let you. We'll figure out what you're up to and stop you. You may have fooled Emma, but you won't fool Grandma and Gramps. We'll stop you because that's what good guys do. Good always wins."

Again, Regina did not respond, even though her heart clinched at the mention of the love spell. _It was pathetic and foolish to think you could make him love you. He will never love you_. She knew that to be true just from the heated glare that he threw her.

Henry twisted his face up and his anger was almost tangible. He made fist, as if he did not know what else to do, and then marched to the door. He yanked it open and before she could say anything, Lady took off. She barely had a chance to gasp before Lady was out.

"Lady!" Regina screamed and she shot off the couch. She did not think as she ran to the door, almost shoving Henry out of the way. She got there just in time to see Lady take off up the street. "Lady!" she called again, tears gathering in her eyes already.

Regina actually ran out without any shoes on. By the time she got the fence, Lady was out of sight, going through bushes in a yard a few houses away. Regina put a hand to her face and then turned around, bolting back into the house.

"Mom," Henry called, sounding confused and maybe a little concerned, but she was not paying him any mind right now.

Regina slipped on the first pair of shoes that she could and then picked up Lady's favorite toy. She went back through the door. She barely thought to pull the door shut and did not pull it close all the way.

"Mom!" Henry called again.

"I need to get Lady," Regina replied, as if that explained everything. "I can't believe you let her out! How could you let her out?" she cried.

"I didn't mean to!"

"You didn't mean to? You just accused me of using her in a spell and then you held the door open! What could you have possibly meant to do?" Regina sobbed.

Henry froze and she did not stick around to hear his excuses. She ran up the street, calling for her puppy and squeaking Lady's favorite toy. Overhead, thick grey clouds hung like the sword of Damocles and she heard thunder, but it did not register to her mind. All she wanted was to find Lady.

"Lady!" Regina's voice was desperate and raw. She squeezed the yellow rubber ducky in her hand, causing it to let out a high-pitch squeak. "Lady!" There was another thunderclap and lightning flashed up ahead. "Lady!"

-8-8-8-8-

Emma found herself driving down Regina's street because the station had been flooded with calls that they saw the former queen roaming around. The calls sounded frantic, people telling tales of horror with the Evil Queen menacing through their yards, looking to destroy them all. Emma thought they were full of it. She knew that Regina did not leave the house, especially not in chilling downpour that was happening now.

The storm had been days in the making and the rain felt like shards of ice; Emma knew that just from running to the car. She pulled up to Regina's house, rang the bell, and was surprised to have Henry answer the door.

"Kid, what the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be at home!" Emma pointed out, like he did not know that.

"I wanted to see the puppy," he replied, as if that was obvious.

At the mention of Lady, Emma stepped inside and closed the door. She was surprised that the pup had not charged the door. But, then she realized how quiet the place was.

"Where's your mom?" Emma asked, glancing at the couch and seeing it empty.

"Uh … out," he answered.

Emma arched an eyebrow. "Out?" _Shit, maybe that was Regina people were seeing_. _What the hell is she up to then?_

"Yeah, uh, the puppy kinda got out and, well, Mom went after her," he explained lamely and Emma could tell that he was not telling the whole truth.

"Lady ran off and Regina went after her in this weather?" Emma glanced out of the window to see that it was still pouring. "Stay here, kid. I need to find your mom." She rushed away before he could respond.

From the calls coming into her office, most people seemed scared to see Regina after a month of peace. She did not need some idiot trying to play a hero, or some hero being an idiot, and attacking Regina. She did not need that sort of drama considering there were still a trillion things that she was doing her best to not think about. She definitely did not want to think of some moronic knight fighting with a suicidal and homicidal Evil Queen that also happened to be her kid's mom.

"Now, where the hell could Regina possibly be?" Emma wondered.

Surprisingly enough, finding Regina was not difficult, especially since she was getting calls on her cell about the Evil Queen. It was the state that Regina was in that was surprising. She was drenched, a desperate thousand yard stare in her eyes, and a rubber ducky in her hands. She walked like a zombie, stumbling while squeezing the duck and calling for Lady. Now, she could understand why people sounded so panicked on the phone because the Evil Queen was acting very weird.

"Regina," Emma shouted, lowering the window to the cruiser and flinching as the cold invaded her cruiser. Regina continued on as if she did not hear her name. "Regina!"

"Lady," the ex-mayor screamed over the pouring rain. She squeaked the duck. "Lady!"

Emma leaned out of the car a little, just to make sure she could be heard over the heavy, hard rain. "Regina, get in the car! You'll freeze to death!"

"I need to find Lady. Lady!" Another squeak.

"Regina, you won't be able to find or help Lady if you freeze to death! Get in the car!"

"Lady!"

"Regina, get in the car! We can drive around and look for Lady!"

That at least made Regina pause. She turned to look at Emma, hair stuck to her face, cheeks pale pink, and lips a frosty blue. Emma put the car in park and got out. She took Regina around the shoulders and led the older woman to the passenger seat. Regina was so out of it that she was totally complaisant with the move. She did not lose that blank stare, though. Emma figured the best thing to do would be to drive around for a few minutes and then take Regina home.

Regina did not make a sound, did not mask her tears, and only looked straight ahead. This was beyond broken, beyond shattered. Emma hoped that this was not the straw that broke the camel's back. She hoped this was not the end.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina spirals down and Emma tries to catch her.


	4. A perfect storm

I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does. I don't own DC comics, which get a mention here just because I don't want Disney owning everything used in this chapter.

4: A perfect storm

Emma was driving slowly, mostly because of the blinding rain, but also giving Regina a chance to scan for Lady. Thunder and lightning blared around them, but Regina did not move. She seemed to be in shock, staring out into the world that was blocked by sheets of pouring rain. Emma was not sure what to say or even do beyond drive and keep an eye out for a crazy puppy that thought it would be a good idea to dash onto an artic monsoon. She did not want to make things worse.

"This is Lady's favorite toy," Regina suddenly said in a low, subdued tone while holding up a yellow rubber ducky as if it held the answers to the universe. "She likes the squeak. She always comes running when she hears me squeeze it. She probably couldn't hear it over the thunder, right?"

Emma glanced at Regina. She thought the former mayor might be speaking to herself. Regina had the same dead stare that she had when Emma first found her and she spoke in a detached monotone that did not seem to address anyone. She was probably lost in her own head, but in case she was not, Emma decided to answer.

"She probably couldn't hear it or you calling her name. The rain's pretty loud and, like you said, there's the thunder. If we don't see her, we might need to wait until after the storm to find her," Emma replied.

Regina sniffled, tears shamelessly falling from her eyes. "After the storm?" her voice cracked as she said that. It was as if that was the worst thing she had ever heard.

"She'll be fine, Regina. We'll find her," Emma promised in a strong tone. She doubted that Regina believed her because the former mayor sat quietly again. _Why the hell is this so goddamn heart breaking? I mean, this is Regina for crying out loud! _Apparently, that did not mean anything, though.

The silence made Emma nervous. She was scared to take Regina back home and leave her alone. She was not sure what Regina would do, but she doubted that it would be good.

"Regina, I'm going to take you home, so you can dry off. I'll keep looking for Lady," Emma proposed.

Regina said nothing. She sat perfectly still for the entire ride and looked dead ahead, hardly blinking. When they pulled up to her house, it was clear that Regina needed help out because she just sat there, rod straight. Emma slipped out and got another taste of dense, piercing rain. She opened Regina's door and gently pried the older woman out. Regina paused as she stood upright and gazed up the street, as if she was expecting salvation to arrive. After a few seconds, when nothing happened beyond the rain, Regina moved on her own.

The former mayor walked with none of the elegance that she was known for, basically staggering to her door like a drunkard. Emma would not have been surprised if Regina fell on her face. She was right behind the former mayor as she entered her home, just in case she needed to catch Regina. Henry was on them within a few seconds.

"Mom!" Henry declared, but Regina moved past him as if she did not even see him, like he did not exist. Henry turned, moving with her. "Mom?" He sounded puzzled, and just a little heartbroken that she had gone right by him. He regarded her with sorrowful eyes and a slight frown.

Regina still did not react. She dropped on the couch as if she had stuck in the back and then curled up into a fetal position, not moving. Emma could hardly believe her eyes. She never thought that she would see the day when Regina ignored Henry. She ended up going over to the kid, putting a hand on his shoulder. She gave him a gentle rub, if only to rid him of doleful expression.

"Hey, go wait in the car. I have to talk to your mom for a second," Emma told him in as delicate a tone as she could manage.

"What's wrong with her?" Henry asked. Beyond the fact that she had ignored him, Emma was certain that Regina's sloppy, unkempt, and practically sheet-white appearance had to be alarming for the boy. Regina looked like a drenched corpse.

"She's just sad. She'll be fine," Emma vowed. Well, she hoped that Regina would be fine, but she was not going to hold her breath. She needed to do something for Regina or she knew that this would not be a story that ended with "lived happily ever after."

"Can I do something?" Henry requested almost tearfully, his eyes drifting back and forth between his mothers.

"Yeah, you can go wait in the car," Emma basically ordered.

The boy pouted, but did as he was told. Emma took a deep breath before she ventured into the living room. She stared at Regina for a moment, not sure what to do with the former mayor. Regina seemed like she was a million miles away, staring off into space and not moving an inch. It was difficult to tell if she was even breathing.

"Regina, you should get out of those clothes," Emma suggested since the smaller woman was completely soaked through and through.

Regina did not reply. The sheriff eyed Regina and then marched off into the house, looking for the linen closet. She figured that she could at least cover Regina with a blanket. She knew that things were bad because Regina was not yelling at her for roaming the house or even dripping on her floor. Regina had mentally checked out.

"I hope you don't mind this blanket getting wet," Emma said as she returned to the room with a thick comforter in her grip. She draped it over Regina, making sure to cover every inch of her small, thin body. "It's not the end of the world, Regina. I bet Lady comes back soon. I mean, no one wants to be out in this rain, right?" she forced out a laugh and was sure it sounded as awkward to Regina as it did to her.

Regina did not even move, did not blink. It was like she did not hear a word the sheriff said or even felt the blanket that was on her. Emma swallowed hard and bit the corner of her bottom lip for a second. She needed to do something, but she was not sure how the hell to talk anyone down, but especially Regina. _How the hell do you make someone who was already broken to begin with not think the world is coming to an end around her when it damn sure looks that way?_

"Regina, don't do anything crazy, you know? I'm not saying Lady's just a dog or anything, but you do have a son that needs you," Emma stated. She had to remind Regina that she had something to live for.

That got a reaction. Regina scoffed. "Needs me? He has you, his perfect family. He doesn't need me. He hates me." Her voice was low and grumbled, as if she had stones in her throat.

"He doesn't hate you," the blonde argued.

A dark laugh came from underneath the heavy cover. "Doesn't hate me? He purposely left the door open to allow the only thing in any world that loves me to leave. I'm fairly certain he hates me. Pure, unabashed hatred." She sounded so convinced, like she truly believed what she was saying.

"You don't mean that. You know Henry would never so something so cruel!" Emma objected. _He's a good kid! A great kid, who is just confused from living in a goddamn crazy, fantasy world._

There was that laugh again. It cut through Emma like a freezing knife, chilling her to her core, and filling her with shards of dread. If Regina really did mean that, it was worse than Emma thought.

"He thought I put a spell on Lady, accused me of using her to hurt you, and basically said that I stole her. I'm sure he didn't think he was being cruel to Lady. He was saving her from me. He was being a hero," Regina replied.

Emma frowned_. Damn, that makes so much sense it could be true_. The thought made her stomach flip and Emma hoped that was not the case. Not only did it mean that he was trying to mimic her and her parents and doing a fairly rotten job if it, but also, he could actually be the last act that ended Regina.

Henry, despite how much distance he was trying to put between him and his adoptive mother, she was still his mother and had been his mother for ten years. If he purposely hurt her, even if he thought that he was saving a puppy, Emma knew that it would eventually catch up to him and plague him for the rest of his life, especially if this went extremely sideways. And, damn, did it have the huge potential to go sideways if Regina's crumbled form meant anything. Emma had to resist the urge to pace and just beg Regina to stay.

"Regina, I doubt he did it on purpose and Lady's gonna come back. This is her home," Emma pointed out gently.

"So? Henry never came back," Regina countered.

Emma shook briefly, caught off guard by that response. "Regina, you're…" _Shit, say something! Something positive!_

"The Evil Queen, I know. You can go now, Miss Swan." Her voice was dismissive, but final.

_Dammit, you blew it, Swan!_ Emma decided to allow herself to be dismissed, even though the lifeless voice the order was given was a bit disconcerting. She did not want to chance saying something wrong. Instead, she would try to give Regina some hope and, with luck, that would sustain the former mayor.

"I'll keep looking for Lady," Emma vowed before leaving. She hoped that Regina would be all right for the rest of the day. She also hoped that Lady really did find her way back.

Emma got in the car and just sat there for a second. She stared straight ahead, trying to figure out how she should approach Henry on what happened. He eyed her, worry lines forming under his eyes, waiting for her to say something. He spoke up first, though, not that it surprised her.

"Is Mom okay?" he blurted out, reaching out, as if he was going to grab her, but he stopped midway and made a fist instead.

It seemed that he was getting frustrated with whatever was going on today and did not know what to do with himself. She imagined it was eating him alive just to _not_ know what was going on. Henry was all about making sense of his world and figuring out where everything went. Today, stuff did not seem to be fitting into the holes he assigned them. With any luck, they could sort that out, so he did not come out any worse for wear.

"At the moment, no, not really. Henry, I need you to be honest with me. Did you let Lady out on purpose?" Emma inquired with a completely straight face. She was not sure what she was going to do if he confirmed that, but she would figure out her next move after he answered.

"What? No!" he shouted, his eyes wide with shock that she would dare suggest such a thing. She studied him briefly and his mouth dropped open. "Are you trying to use your super power on me? I'm not lying!" he proclaimed, putting his hand to his chest.

"Okay, I believe you, kid," Emma said as she started the car.

He clutched her arm and had a desperate look on his face. "Does Mom think I did it on purpose? Is that what she said?" His grip was much stronger than she expected.

Emma patted his hand to comfort him. It was more something that she suspected a mother would do than something that she normally did. It helped and he relaxed somewhat, but he did not let go of her. She took a moment to consider how she should put things to him to keep him informed, but to make sure she did not worry him more.

"Your mom is very upset right now. I think you might need to apologize to her, but not right now. She needs to some time." Regina probably did not want to see Henry right now and it was best to spare them both the heartache that would come along with having him apologize too soon. "But, you need to remember that your mom loves you, even if she's upset," she added, just in case he had doubts like Regina seemed to.

"Does she really think I let her dog out on purpose?" His voice cracked as he asked the question.

"Well, she said you accused her of some pretty bad things before you opened the door."

"But, I thought she might be up to something! I mean, she's the Evil Queen and out of the blue she got this puppy! I thought she might be using it to try to hurt you or Grandma! And where did she get the puppy? She might've hurt someone and stole their puppy!" His grip on her forearm tightened again as he clearly tried to convince her of his side of things.

Emma sighed. "Henry, I know this might be hard to understand, but I don't think everything Regina does is evil. I mean, yeah, she's done some messed up stuff, some evil stuff really, but I don't think this was on the list there. Your mom has just been sad for a long time."

"Emma, she tried to cast a spell on me."

"Because she misses you. She's had a lot of things happen to her."

"Well, we had a lot of things happen to us and we haven't gone around hurting people!"

Emma would argue that if only Henry was not ten years old. They had left some emotions and other things in their wake that she did not want to think about. Hell, not too long ago, she watched as the good people of Storybrooke debated over letting a man die to keep their secret and many of them voted death. Beyond that, they, as in her family, had done some damage to Regina, too, and she suspected Henry had done the most, which was why Regina thought he let Lady loose on purpose. She wished that she had not become so reflective, but she found out that these things tended to happen when she was stuck in one place. _Thinking about stuff sucks. Thinking about how stuff affects other people sucks even more_.

"You're missing the point, Henry. Regina wasn't hurting anybody. She was just staying in her house, taking care of a dog. You shouldn't have gone over there and accused her of anything. She wasn't doing anything."

"You don't know that!" he practically roared, tearing away from her now. His eyes were pleading with her to understand him, but the way that he reared back made him seem utterly furious. And then suddenly, he was glaring at her, as if she were the bad guy, as if he were Regina's son. "You don't know if she was going to hurt someone, hurt you, hurt Grandma! You don't know that!"

Something inside of her snapped at his tone and demeanor. "I do know that! I've been over there enough times and seen her enough to know that woman is beaten down and possibly not getting back up! She's not planning anything beyond what to do about her missing dog!" she shouted back and then realized that was not the best parenting move she had ever made as Henry hid behind his backpack a little. She took a calming breath and slowly exhaled. "Look, kid, I'm just saying we don't have to suspect Regina of doing more than watching Lady."

Henry was quiet for a second, probably not used to having someone actually yell at him. "Has she really been that bad, like beaten?"

Emma sighed again and ran her hands through her hair. "Yeah, kid, she's been pretty bad. She's picking herself up, but it's little by little." Of course, she was probably now back closer to the edge than ever before with her dog missing. What did Regina have beyond her big, dark, cold house now? Emma tried to shake that away because as Regina was losing things, she was gaining things and dealing with it only slightly better than Regina … and that was probably only because she was able to distract herself.

Well, most of the time she could distract herself. She thought about when she went to see Regina before and how Regina thought that she was there to take something else from her. While she refused to believe she took anything from the former mayor, she had not been very inclined to share. After Regina had saved her and Mary Margaret from the well and Regina had requested time with Henry, she probably could have offered up something. Instead, she had acted, well, somewhat like Regina. She usually thought of herself as bigger than Regina, but apparently not.

_So, you basically helped walk her right to the ledge, huh? Why not scream "jump" while you're at it?_ Emma shook that away. She had done what she thought was best for her son. Regina would and could respect that if she stopped to understand it. _Would she respect putting her mother's poisoned heart back in her body to save Gold of all people if she stopped to understand it?_ And, with that thought, Emma decided to mentally go through all of the places that she could check for a missing dog to make sure she did not think about that again.

Henry was quiet for the rest of the trip home and she could only wonder what was running wild through his mind. She let him go up on his own while she decided to drive around to see if she might spot Lady. She was certain that Henry was going to tell her parents as soon as they asked where he was and she was sure that they would cause a fuss about it when she came home. She just could not let it go. She made a promise. So, she hunted for Lady.

"Where the hell could a spoiled puppy go in this weather?" Emma asked herself. Now, if only she had an answer.

She knew driving around was not really going to solve anything, especially with visibility being so poor, but she had to try. Finding a dog was not like finding a wanted criminal, though. She did not even know where to begin. She returned home after almost an hour of aimless driving.

"Emma, where have you been?" Mary Margaret demanded to know the second that she walked through the door.

"Out being an idiot," Emma answered what she thought was obvious. She was soaking wet from her sprint from the car to the building door and freezing thanks to the rain. _Wouldn't the motherly thing to do be hand me a blanket or at least a towel?_ The thought actually made her laugh on the inside. If she had openly laughed, she was certain the short-haired woman would explode.

"You don't owe Regina anything," Mary Margaret pointed out.

"If anything she owes you, us. She stole the life you should have had from you and stole you from us," David chimed in, marching over to present a united front with his wife.

Emma opened her mouth, about to say some things that had already been said and some things that probably needed to be said to keep herself sane and sober. But, she swallowed those words down because she did not want to mess up what she had. So, she took a deep breath. She needed to maintain her composure, even though that went against her very nature. _You have a family. You don't wanna blow it like always, so stay calm_.

"Look, this has nothing to do with who owes anyone what. This has to do with doing the decent thing. Regina hasn't bothered anyone in over a month. She's done nothing but sit in her house and take care of her dog. For all we know, Lady might have been the only thing in between Regina blowing up the whole town. So, maybe not only is it the decent thing to do, but the smart thing to do," Emma pointed out.

"Do you really think Regina would destroy the town just for a dog?" Mary Margaret sounded incredulous.

"This is Regina we're talking about. She's done worse when a dog wasn't involved," David remarked with a frown.

"That's just it! Lady is not just a dog to Regina and Regina isn't the person you all remember. Lady's probably the only thing that gets Regina out of bed in the morning. You haven't seen her recently, so you don't know how withdrawn, thin, and pale she was before she had Lady in her life for a couple of weeks. She was messed up and I didn't think she'd pull through," Emma stated.

"So, what, now you're saying Regina is suicidal?" David huffed. Mary Margaret actually tensed a little. Emma had to make sure Henry was not around before she responded.

"Probably. The woman only just killed her mother and had her son walk away from her, literally, without looking back. Not to mention, we accused her of the only murder she didn't actually commit," Emma argued. She did not want to bring these things up, but her parents were supposed to be good people, heroes, and heroes did not choose who they helped and who they left rot.

"What about all of the murders she did commit?" Mary Margaret declared.

"I tried to tell you before that's not Regina. That was the Evil Queen and she's not that person anymore. If she was, she'd have razed the town to the ground a while ago, but she hasn't. When she figured out that you tricked her to put a poisoned heart into her mother's body, she'd have probably ripped your head off right there if she was still the Evil Queen." Emma did her best to ignore Mary Margaret's flinch and she powered on. "If she was still the Evil Queen, she'd have done all types of crazy, scary shit, but she hasn't. She's just sat in her house and wasted away and I mean totally wasted. She's a shadow of her former self," the sheriff countered.

"Emma, you don't know her like we do. You'll give her a chance and she'll use it to stab you in the back," Mary Margaret said with a deadly serious look in her eyes. It was a look that spoke of experience, but again, Mary Margaret had not seen Regina recently.

In fact, Mary Margaret had put Regina out of her mind after tricking the witch into killing Cora. This was another one of those things that Emma had tried her best not to think about, even though she had already mentioned it. Mary Margaret had been depressed and guilty for a couple of days, refusing to get out of bed, until David had managed to convince her that she had actually done the right thing, that Cora was pure evil and they needed to stop her by any means. Emma had been surprised by his turn around, but she guessed that it was his job to fix his wife. The real shocking thing was the town condoning Mary Margaret's actions; no one seemed to find anything wrong with what she did or how she did it. The how was something that Emma knew would plague her if she dwelled on it. Again, she tried her best not to think about it.

"I'm not saying give her a chance. I'm saying that she lost her dog, the only thing that she has left, and I promised to find it. That's just how it's going to be," Emma stated.

"You don't have to waste your time on her," David said.

"I don't see it as a waste of time."

"Well, it is."

The sheriff shrugged. "I'm still going to keep my word."

"You don't need to keep your word to a liar," David insisted.

Emma frowned and decided to wash her hands of the whole argument. She doubted that they would see eye to eye on this and she did not want to have to think about anything. She retreated to her room, where Henry was sitting and doing his homework. He did not look at her and she retreated to the bathroom to take a hot shower.

-8-8-8-8-

The rain had stopped, but the day was gray, dreary, promising frostier, Maine storms. Emma decided to go see if Lady had returned to Regina. The quiet of the house, the lack of barking when she rang the bell let her know the answer before the door crept open. She stepped in quickly from force of habit and was beyond surprised by the sight that greeted her.

Regina had probably never looked worse. She had circles around her eyes that would have put a raccoon to shame. Heavy lines under her eyes, which beyond dull, almost dead, joined those dark circles. She lacked makeup and her face was pale with a yellowish tint. Her hair was matted and oily. She was actually still in the clothes from yesterday. Emma was about to prove herself an idiot for the question that she was going to ask because the answer was obvious.

"So, did Lady come back yet?" Emma inquired and followed up with, "Are you all right?" _Twice an idiot. I hope I don't have any other dumb things to say_.

Regina gave her an exasperated sigh that seemed to rattle out of her chest and whistle as it escaped. "We both know that Lady will not be coming back." She sounded as if she were commenting on any bland topic.

"Don't say that. I'm sure she's on her way."

Regina shook her head; it seemed almost pitiful. "No, she's not. Everything I love leaves me. The worst of it is when I kill something I love. I'm a plight."

"Regina, you're not a plight. And your mother didn't die because of you. You didn't kill her, technically," the sheriff argued. Of course, that meant Mary Margaret had killed her and now she had to reconcile that in her mind with the fact that her mother was a good guy. _If only I wasn't sucked into the fantasyland as dictated by DC comics, I might make it out of this sane!_

There was that pathetic head shake again. "Not my mother. My father," she whispered it, as if telling the wind.

Emma blinked and she was not sure how she managed to stay standing. "You killed your father?" _Well, Regina can still surprise the hell out of you, like the fact that she told you this at all. Uh, probably not a good sign now that I think about it_. _I hope she's not playing deathbed confessions or something_.

"My father and my favorite horse, both to enact this damned curse." Her voice remained low, but steady and completely void of emotion.

"You killed your own father?" Emma's mouth refused to close and her brow wrinkled.

"Have you ever been so miserable, so devastated that you would do anything to be happy?" The dead tone of the question somehow made it creepier, like clearly her course was the _only_ course in her mind.

Emma nodded before she realized it. "I've had the feeling, but I guess it never got to that point considering I only recently got a father. But, I've been there. I just don't think I'd ever take it that far." _At least I hope_. _But, then again, there's been points in my life where who knows what I would've done to feel better_.

Regina wrapped her arms around herself and stared off at a wall. "I never thought I would. He was my daddy. My first friend. We shared secrets and he loved me, loved me so much. He was loyal to me to the end, even when I was ripping out his heart. He just stood there and … let me. He said he wanted me to be happy. He was there for me through it all. I named Henry after him because I wanted Henry to have those traits. I wanted Henry to stand by me through everything. Instead, he ran at the first chance he had, even though I did my best with him and I know I was good to him. I know." She gritted her teeth and made a fist. It was good to see some emotion from her.

"You made him think he was crazy and put him in therapy to protect your stupid curse," Emma pointed out.

"No," Regina said sharply, lifeless eyes on the blonde now. Though her voice held some emotion, it did not reach her eyes and her waning face was practically passive. "I put him in therapy long before that accursed tome. Our relationship had decayed so quickly when he turned eight and I didn't know why or what to do. I wanted to save us, but there was no us. Henry didn't want me anymore and I'm sure Lady is the same. I've come to realize Lady was attempting to escape after I bandaged her wounds. I, unknowingly, bound her here as I foolishly did with Henry. She has probably returned to her true family as well. I have nothing. There is nothing. I am nothing."

Those words sent Emma spiraling. She hated that she knew where this was going. It was as if she was the only person that knew or cared, which was troubling in and of itself. She could not ignore the signs and grabbed Regina by the shoulders, holding her tightly and basically glaring at her.

"You listen to me, Regina, that's bullshit! You can't just give up like this! Henry might not know it now, but he loves you and you're his mom! He'll need you and your love! He's going to figure it out one day and you need to be here for it! Lady loves you and needs you, too! I'll find her and prove it, but in the mean time, you don't do anything stupid," Emma ordered.

"Don't bother, Miss Swan," Regina sighed, turning way, but Emma refused to let her go.

"No! You don't get to give up!"

"I'm not giving up. I've finally accepted defeat. I lost a long time ago, but was too stubborn to see. It's done."

Emma felt her anger rising, but her chest felt tight with anxiety. "Hell, no, it's not! You can't accept it now. You have a son and a dog that need you. I know your life has sucked for the most part and you've made a lot of other people's lives suck in return, but it doesn't have to keep sucking. Believe me. It gets better."

Regina did not say anything, but she looked Emma in the eye. There was a glint, a glimmer of life. It shined through like a beacon in a dark sea. Emma's chest relaxed and she sighed in relief.

"I'll find Lady, I promise. And Henry will come around as long as you don't do anything crazy. Give me time and I'll find Lady," Emma vowed, but she did not get a reaction. "Gimme a week?" she requested, hoping a specific time would move the grief-stricken woman.

"Why do you care?" Regina asked in a whisper.

"Please, don't ask why questions right now. I'm trying really hard not to think about anything. You might want to try that because you're clearly thinking too much. I just don't want you to hurt yourself because you're Henry's mom, even if he doesn't get it right now. Plus, I can't just stand back and watch this slow train wreck that is you. I know how this ends and I can't just watch it happen."

Regina was quiet and it seemed to stretch on for all eternity. "A week." Her voice was small and her eyes were on the floor, but that was enough for Emma.

"A week," Emma pledged. She had a week to save a life. _No pressure or anything!_

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma works on keeping her promise while Henry pays Regina a visit.

A/N: RestlessSeas was kind enough to draw a picture based on the previous chapter. There's a link to it at the bottom of my profile … unless I get asked by the artist to remove it.


	5. Heroics

I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does.

5: Heroics

Henry stood outside of his former home, staring up the walkway. It seemed larger than he remembered, which was odd considering he was just there. There was something somber surrounding the place that he could not put his finger on. Whatever it was felt like it was crushing his chest and he briefly considered that there might be a spell on the property. He looked around, expecting to see a dark cloud, but there was nothing.

"_She's_ probably trying to scare people off or keep them away," he muttered, his breath visible in the winter chill.

He tugged on his book bag strap and took a step forward, but paused right after. He had no idea if … his mom? … Regina? … The Evil Queen? … no, his mom. He had no idea if his mom was home or even if she was if she would let him in. The last time he was there, she sort of looked through him and brushed past him.

It had not bothered him much at the time, but now he had time to think about it. His mother had never snubbed him like that, had never treated him like that. He had always been the center of her world, even if he was doing something that she did not like. The idea that she could look through him was beyond him and he could not come to terms with it. He was not sure why, but he knew that he disliked that she had ignored him so thoroughly. He did not know what to do about that either.

Added to that, she thought he let her dog out on purpose. He would never do something like that, even if the puppy was probably better off. After all, he doubted that the Evil Queen cared about the dog beyond it being useful in some scheme that she was cooking up. Of course, it looked like his mother was not doing anything of the sort. Not that it mattered because he would never do something like that, even if the dog deserved a real home. But, it would have been cruel and he was not cruel. He was the son of the savior, after all. His grandparents were the heroes of the Enchanted Forest. He was good, not like _her_.

"Yeah, I am good. She's the one that's evil. She does cruel stuff, but I'm good," he stated, just to make sure he knew that.

Actually, he was certain that he was good because he was here. Only a good person would show up at the Evil Queen's house to … to … was he checking on her? Yeah, he was checking on her because he was a good person. And there was the guilt. Bad people did not feel guilty because if they did they would stop being bad. It made sense to him, anyway.

"I bet _she_ doesn't feel guilt and she probably doesn't even care that the dog is gone. She probably just fooled Emma. She's probably planning something and she's tricking Emma, so she can get away with it while the Savior's running around on this wild goose chase," Henry said to the air. The air did not contradict him. _I'm brilliant!_

He actually hoped that she was planning something. It would make much more sense than the vibe that he was getting from Emma. For the past few days, Emma had been running herself ragged trying to find the dog, even in two days of horrible rain, which had also included some hail. He doubted _she_ was searching as hard as Emma was because she probably was just messing with Emma. In fact, _she_ probably did not even care about the dog.

"Yeah, and I'll prove it and Emma won't be mad at me anymore because she'll see Mom is just playing her, lying to her like the Evil Queen's supposed to do. And she won't make me apologize," Henry declared and he smiled. Obviously, he was beyond brilliant!

He just needed to show that Regina was not as broken up about the dog being gone as she had Emma believe. _I should try to figure out what _she's_ up to, also. This way, I can prepare Emma for it and we can defeat the Evil Queen again!_ The best thing to do would be to sneak into the house and just catch his mom being normal, whatever normal was for an evil queen. He could then bring Emma later to see the same thing and Emma would see that she was being played and she would not be upset with him. Plus, he could stop feeling guilty about letting the dog out. He grinned; again, obviously, he was brilliant!

He ran to the side of the house to go in through the back door. He paused in the doorway, feeling the same strange sensation as he had when he was at the front of the house. There was something heavy and creepy drifting around the place, passing through his skin and bones. It chilled him and caused his heart to race. He swallowed hard and panted, gripping the doorknob tightly. And then, he blinked and managed to shake it off.

"She probably cast a spell," he reminded himself. "I'm not scared of her and I need to prove that she's doing stuff like this."

He put his book bag down by the door, thinking he would be stealthier without that weight on his back. He was quiet when he used his key to open the door and took a deep breath before he eased inside. The interior was worse than whatever it was that he was feeling outside.

The house was completely silent and utterly dark. It reminded him of a graveyard, but the ones that he would see in late-night, scary movies with zombies and vampires instead of real, neat cemeteries. He would not have been surprised if mist floated by on the floor or an owl shrieked in the distance. The atmosphere was thick, weighty, and the air almost felt pressing, like it could and might crush him. There was an odor hanging around that he could not identify. It was stale and burned ever so slightly. It gave him pause once more before his determination and curiosity got the better of him.

"Something's going on," he decided. He just was not sure if it was what he initially thought. His heart continued to beat rapidly and his stomach twisted a bit.

He crept through the grim house, listening for his mom, but hearing nothing at all. His breathing grew deeper as his chest felt tight and his stomach flipped once more. He was tempted to call at for his mother, but the thought that she might not respond terrified him more than the silent state of the dreary house. So, he tiptoed through across the dusty tile floors and tensed when he came to the living room. He could see the couch from an angle and there was a lump lying curled up on the sofa.

Briefly, he had to study the lump. It was his mother, but he could not believe it. He had never seen her lie on anything beyond a bed and even that was rare. There was a small mess of forgotten cups and plates on the coffee table. There was still food on most of the plates, barely half-eaten. Some of the cups were tipped over, leaking water and tea all over the expensive coffee table and onto the floor.

Henry could not help the deep crease that formed on his forehead. _Something's really wrong here_, he thought with his heart taking up residency in his throat. His mother would never just leave dishes out like that, especially since there were food crumbs and more on them. The huge pieces of food, those should have been in the trash. But, Regina did not seem to care about that.

Studying Regina, Henry had no idea what to make of what he was witnessing. His mind tried to figure out the angle, but there was nothing. She was just lying there on the couch, as still as a piece of furniture. Her eyes had dark circles around them and were fixed on a far wall, not blinking and glassy. Her hands, bony and the color of chalk, were clutching at one of her bedroom blankets that partially covered her. Her hair was spread across her pale face, which was milk-white. He could see hints of blue lines in her face, her veins.

"M-m-mom?" he said before he realized it. His voice trembled and stumbled over the simple word.

Regina did not move, at all. His heart clenched and he held his breath as he stepped closer, hoping to see if she was breathing. With each step, he felt like his heart was going to explode and his body quivered to the point where he felt like he had no control over his arms. He was ten; he did not need to discover his mom dead! He was not emotionally or psychologically prepared for this! _Please, don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead!_

"Mom?" he repeated, reaching out to touch her with his shaking hand.

He took a deep breath, managing to steady himself before he made contact. She was cold, but thank goodness she looked at him when his fingers tapped her forehead. It was like being stared at by a zombie, something straight from the movies.

"Mom!" He jumped. If his heart did not explode there, he guessed it was safe to assume that it would not.

Her eyes were unfocused and her cheeks were sunken in. She looked like the closest thing he had ever seen to a fresh corpse in real life. He did not know what to make of that, just like everything else. Clearly, there was something wrong with her. _Oh, man, what am I supposed to do?_

"Mom, are you sick? Do you need help?" he inquired, even though he felt that was obvious. _If I call anybody, who would come? Dammit! _Living with his birth mother had colored his vocabulary, if only in his own head.

"Henry?" Regina said, her voice weak and scratchy.

"Yeah, Mom, it's me." He paused, taking a deep breath to keep calm and steady himself. "Are you all right?"

"Henry," Regina repeated and she looked directly at him with a smile. But, it was a strange smile, like she was in a daze or a dream. He wondered if she was even really seeing him.

"Mom, are you okay?" he asked once more. He would have thought that she was running a fever if only she were not so cold.

Regina did not respond. That strange smile remained on her face as she reached out for him, touching his cheek with chilly, thin fingers. He almost reeled back because her hand was so emaciated and pallid. _She's like a skeleton! God, how sick is she?_ _Is she dying?_ He was about to hyperventilate because she needed help and she needed help now, but he did not know what to do. _Not to freaking brilliant now, are we?!_

"Mom, where's your cell phone? I'm calling Emma," he declared. _She'll know what to do and she'll help!_

She scoffed and pulled back, sitting up, but putting distance between them. He was a bit surprised that she could hold herself up. She looked like she should just fall over, maybe even crumble into a pile of dust.

"The sheriff departed not too long ago. Of course, you would want her." Her voice was like a croak, rattling out of her throat, and plummeting almost before it reached his ears.

"I want her to help you! What do you mean she departed? She saw you like this and left you? What's going on?" he demanded with a tense frown. _Emma wouldn't just leave her here if she's dying!_

Regina flopped back down, her blanket falling away somewhat, revealing her clothes that were definitely too big for her. She looked thinner than he remembered. _Was she like this before when I came and I didn't notice? Are these the same clothes from before? God, has she been off the couch since last week?_

"Mom …" Henry was not sure what to say, but he felt like he needed to say something.

She turned her attention to the floor, watching it with unblinking eyes. He felt his throat tighten as he realized he had done this. He had broken his mother. He had broken the Evil Queen; a feat the greatest fairy tale heroes had not been able to accomplish. But, he did not feel very heroic or even good about himself. In fact, he had to swallow down burning vomit as it tried to blaze a trail up his throat and tried to get out of his mouth. He could do nothing about the hot tears that seared their way down his cheeks because they would not stop coming. He wiped them away, but he could not wipe away the pounding in his head and the weight in his chest.

"Mom, I'm really sorry, not just for letting your dog out, but that things came to this. I'm sorry your mom's dead and I'm sorry that you're like this, being depressed and all," he said and that sounded lame to his own ears, but he could not apologize for the other things that he was sure was bothering her because he would then be lying to her. Not to mention, he felt like the other things were her fault, not his. She was the one that hurt people.

The admittedly crippled apology did not ease any of the anxieties in his body, though. He was not sure what he should say or do to rid himself of those feelings. He was not sorry for any of the other things, he was certain of that. He did not want his mother to be this thing on the sofa, though. He was sorry that she was like that. At least he thought that was why he was sorry.

_What is wrong with me? Why do I feel worse and more confused after saying I'm sorry? I don't understand. None of this makes any sense! _His eyes searched his mother's face for answers – as a baby, he used to believe she knew everything – but she had nothing for him. Her eyes offered nothing, except despair and rot. Looking at her was like being punched in the stomach with an iron fist.

"Go home, Henry," she said as if she could not be bothered.

"I'm not going home, Mom! You need help!" he hollered, ready to throw a tantrum if it would only get his mother to move and act normal. He did not care if she scolded him for his behavior. He would give anything for her to tear off the sofa and send him to his room.

She did not respond, did not even blink at his outburst, and he did not know what to do. Crying was tempting, if only to get a more lively response from her and his eyes were tearing anyway, but he decided against it. The last thing he needed was to find out that she could ignore sobs from him now, too. Instead, he tore through the house, searching for his mother's cell phone. She usually kept it next to her for emergency purposes, but now she was the emergency and it was nowhere to be found. She did not move a muscle while he did this.

_She's not even scolding me for messing up the house! What's going on? What happened? This really can't be for just a dog! It probably wasn't even her dog! _Part of him knew that was neither here nor there as he knocked books off of the bookshelves and flipped pictures all around, figuring since the phone was not in the obvious places, it was time to start checking the stranger areas of the house.

Eventually, he discovered the phone, under the dining room table for some reason with a cloth napkin over it. The phone had nicks in it, as if it had been chewed, but thankfully if worked. The phone was password protected, which was new, but his mother was so predictable that he cracked it in one try. He saw all of her recent calls had been from Emma.

"Is Emma checking on her?" he wondered aloud while dialing the sheriff.

"Regina, what happened?" Emma answered in a frantic tone that made him think his mother might be worse than he first assumed. Of course, if she was worse, he wondered why Emma had left her alone in the first place.

"It's me," he breathed, glancing back into the living room to see his mother. She still had not moved.

"Henry, what are you doing with Regina's phone? Something happened?" She sounded even more panicked now.

"I came over to apologize and I found her on the couch. I think she's sick. She needs help, Emma." The "please, help her" did not need to be said.

"She needs time, kid. Make sure she's got that blanket over her and then go home." While she was much calmer now, that was clearly an order.

"It's been a week!" That was practically forever!

"She needs more time than that. Adults don't bounce back as quick as kids. Now, just go make sure she's covered and then go home. I'll let you know how she is later, all right?"

He sighed. "All right." It was the best he could do for now. He disconnected the call and went to do as commanded.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma put her cell phone back in her pocket and continued with her self-imposed mission, freezing her butt off while she searched. She felt like she had turned the whole town upside down. It was like Lady vanished into thin air, which she could not rule out considering where she lived. She was definitely learning to hate magic, even if it had nothing to do with this. But, she soldiered on, calling Lady's name and squeaking her favorite toy, which she felt utterly ridiculous doing. It all seemed in vain until she heard a faint bark behind a small bearing wall.

"Lady?" she called once more and gave the rubber ducky a squeeze. There was a faint yap again.

She easily hopped over the wall, landing in a tiny lot that was open to the woods. Looking around, she saw a small ditch, which was a little muddy thanks to the rain from days ago. Of course, it being Maine, the mud was also frozen. Carefully, she stepped down slight slope to see there was a big hole up further up the ditch. She squeaked the rubber duck once more. She could still hear Lady more than anything else and when she peered to the hole, she saw the whining puppy. Emma almost fell over herself to get there.

"Oh, god, Lady." Emma bent down to the crying dog. While the hole was not big compared to the sheriff, for the filthy canine it might as well have been the Grand Canyon.

For a moment, Lady cowered, as if she did not know Emma. The pup turned around and tried to pull herself out of the hole. Her paws scratched at the dirt, only causing more to fall into the hole. She was already exhausted and shaking, so she collapsed as her attempted escape failed miserably. Thankfully, Lady did not hurt herself.

The blonde was careful and slowly eased her open hand down, allowing Lady sniff her. The familiar smell was enough to calm down the puppy. Lady looked at Emma with big brown eyes and let out a soft cry. It cut Emma to the core.

"It's okay, Lady. I just need you to stay calm and stay calm. Now, let's get you out of here and get you home to a lady that really cares about you and really needs you," Emma commented and Lady let out a weak yelp, as if she agreed.

She had to twist a bit to get down into the hole to pick Lady up. She nearly fell over, having one leg in and one leg out. _I don't think my body likes bending this way_. She knew it was only a matter of time before gravity got the better of her, so she acted as hastily as she could. Quickly scooping Lady up, Emma planted both legs into the hole in order to push herself out. She held Lady close to her chest as she hoisted them both out. Lady whined and snuggled into the sheriff, nuzzling and licking her as soon as she was against Emma's body.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're grateful. I get it, but I don't need all the love," Emma said, trying to dodge the tongue because she did not know where Lady had been or what she might have been licking for a week.

She held the puppy away from her both to save herself and to inspect Lady. Beyond being muddy and shivering, Emma could not see anything wrong with her. But, she was not a medical professional in any way and had never actually held Lady up close before this moment, so she could always be wrong.

"Okay, you look decent for a dog out on her own for a week. Hopefully, you're as good as you look. Let's get you back to someone that really needs you," the blonde declared. Lady yapped, as if she understood. Emma gave the pup a lingering stare before deciding to let it go.

The sheriff wrapped Lady in her scarf to warm her up and then made her trek back to her car. She put Lady in the passenger seat and watched as the puppy had difficulty moving. She was not sure what to make of that, so just drove as quickly as to Regina's as she could without endangering herself.

Emma was not surprised to find the front door unlocked; hell, she would not have been surprised to find the door wide open. Regina was in a serious "don't give a fuck" mood to the degree that eating was too much for the brunette. Regina had been in the same clothes for a week, too. Showering seemed to be out of the question as it would involve her having to get off of the couch. Honestly, she would not be surprised if the clothes had bonded to Regina's skin through dirt and grim. Emma wondered if that had been the case for more than just the time that Lady had been missing.

"Regina?" Emma called, going right to the living room.

The ex-mayor was curled up on the couch as expected. She hoped that Henry was gone because he did not need to see Regina as she was, or worse if this did not work. She moved closer to the supine form on the sofa. There were no signs that she had moved since Emma had been there an hour ago. _Hard to believe Henry was here_.

"Regina, get up. I have someone that wants to see you," Emma said and Lady yelped.

Regina turned at the noise, but did not move beyond that. The way she moved, it would not have been surprising to hear her bones grinding against each other. All of her regal grace and elegance was gone, replaced by a cadaver in a wrinkled designer skirt.

Emma went to her and eased Lady, scarf and all, into Regina's gaunt arms. Regina accepted Lady with trembling limbs. Lady whimpered and whined while cuddling into Regina's chest. Regina held her close and breathed in for the first time in a week.

"You might want to check her out. I know for a fact that a week of being homeless leaves marks, even if you can't see 'em," Emma commented.

Regina nodded and was off of the couch as if she had not been lying there for days. While she was up, she still lacked that queenly grace that used to radiant off of her. She marched away more like a marionette than anything else while Emma eyed the coffee table. Sighing, she picked up the dirty dishes that Regina clearly could not be bothered with. _I can't believe I'm picking up after her. I don't even clean up after myself!_ Well, she cleaned up if Mary Margaret told her to, but that was rare. Usually, Mary Margaret picked up after her without a word, or asking her if she wanted something else while cleaning up.

_It's like she thinks if she spoils me, I'm less likely to run_, Emma thought about Mary Margaret. But, she quickly shook that away. She did not want to travel down the mother road. No, she had to look after Regina. Regina needed her undivided attention right now.

Emma cleaned up the sofa by folding the blanket as best she could and putting it over the back of the couch. She sat down once she was done and waited for Regina. The brunette returned with a clean Lady, who was asleep in Regina's arms. It was strange to see, but made sense. Regina seemed to need to care for and be cared about in return, which, to Emma, was a huge mark of her humanity. Maybe the only mark, but there was still a human being in there. _Maybe it's even trying to crawl its way out_. She hoped that was the case because the last thing she needed or wanted was for Regina to go back to normal (for Regina) after all of this.

"Is she okay? She was trapped in a hole when I found her," Emma stated.

Regina glanced down at the puppy. "Physically, she seems fine, except a little thin, but that can easily be remedied."

"That's good. Being with you can help with the other stuff, I guess."

"So, she didn't run off to another family?" Regina blurted out in disbelief. Her eyes were wide, but her face was bewildered.

Emma chuckled. "Not unless her family was in that hole and considering she was there alone, I think it's a safe bet to assume she didn't run off to another family. I couldn't find a family, Regina. I asked around and she doesn't seem to belong to anyone. There aren't posters up, no one calling my office to report her gone. No one was missing a spaniel puppy. I can't figure out where she came from. So, I think she's yours."

"Mine?" Regina echoed as if she did not know what that meant. Glancing down at Lady, it seemed like she expected the pup to run off. Lady seemed perfectly content, sleeping against the former mayor.

"Yeah, Lady's yours, so you might want to buy some tags for her and stuff. You can get her chipped in case she runs off again. She'll be easier to find, if she doesn't make her way home anyway."

The smaller woman nodded, but was quiet for a while. "Thank you."

Emma almost did a double take, but managed to keep it in. It took all of her self-control for her to keep a straight face. Regina did not need anything like that. Regina needed normalcy to back her away from the edge. _Maybe that human being in there's gonna come out and stay_, _as long as she doesn't end up slitting her wrists or something_.

"You're welcome. I wonder where did Lady come from, though. Could she have wandered in from the outside?" Emma mused aloud.

Regina absently caressed the top of the puppy's head. "It's possible, but I doubt it."

"I guess it doesn't matter. It's good that you have her back."

"Thanks to you, of course. Tell me, Miss Swan, why did you care so much for me to get her back to me?" Regina looked Emma in the face, eyes searching for the answer to her question.

The blonde shrugged. "That's what a good person would do?" She did not mean for it to come out as a question, but she did not want to go into detail about her real reason.

"No, a good person would have allowed Lady to find a home with someone capable of loving properly. A good person would have torn Lady from my arms and left me to this tomb. A good person would have made sure Lady never came back to me, ever."

"No, that's not what a good person would do. God, I hope you're kidding." Emma knew that was not the case, though. Regina actually believed that a good person would have hurt her further. _What the hell is wrong with her? How screwed up is your mind to think that's what a good person would do?_

There was that silence again. "Do you honestly believe that bringing Lady back will help?"

Emma was speechless now. She did not think that Regina knew _why_ she was doing her best to get Lady back. Now, she wondered if retrieving Lady would help at all.

"Are you … are you going to hurt yourself?" the blonde asked in a small voice. _Well, I guess a more accurate question would be, are you going to continue hurting yourself?_

"Does it matter?" The flat, lackluster tone of the question was as worrisome as the question itself. It seemed there was a possibility that even with Lady, Regina would just allow herself to waste away.

"Yeah, it matters. I don't want you to and I know you might not believe it, but Henry doesn't want you to either. He's confused right now. I mean, really, crazy-head-spinning-cuckoo-clocks confused and he damn sure isn't the only one. He doesn't hate you and he didn't let Lady out on purpose."

Regina did not look convinced. "He doesn't love me. He may call me Mom, but he doesn't see me as his mother. He hasn't for almost three years."

"What happened?" Emma suspected that it was not anything serious. She always figured that despite Regina's attitude toward everyone else, she was more bark than bite with Henry. Knowing both Regina and Henry and their flare for drama, they had probably taken an anthill and made a mountain out of a simple issue.

"He figured out that he was adopted and he was furious with me. He believed I had lied to him for his whole life. Nothing I could say soothed him, nothing I researched worked, so eventually I sent him to Doctor Hopper, hoping our relationship would mend. I thought if nothing else, at least he would never be able to find his actual parents and would eventually accept me, but no luck in even being second best this time," Regina explained in a whisper, as if these words could not leave the living room.

Emma's brow furrowed because that seemed like an odd choice of words. It was shocking that Regina seemed willing to be second best. But, more than that, it was shocking that Regina was sharing with her. She had obviously gotten behind some wall and she was glad for it. It might help Regina. But, it was also a little frightening. _Do I really want to know what the hell goes on in _that_ head? _She guessed she did because she was going to go with it.

"That's just how kids are. The grass is always greener. On the rare occasions I was placed in a good home, I still imagined my birth parents to be a million times better," Emma stated.

"Who are a king and queen and heroes to many," Regina pointed out dully.

"Okay, but the point is, kids are like that. When you were a kid, you never imagined that you were adopted and somewhere out there your super awesome parents were going to come and save you from these tyrants that dared to give you a bed time?" Emma chuckled a bit.

Regina did not crack a smile, but the far off look in her eyes said she had done exactly that. "I've done that with more than just my parents."

"Most people have. Hell, I still do it."

Regina arched an eyebrow. "Not enjoying your parents?" There was none of her usual scornfulness or bit in the question. It was as if she was genuinely curious.

Emma certainly had gotten behind a wall and she now believed that she was looking at the tiny bit of human that was inside of Regina. She was talking with that human. Emma wondered if Regina even realized it. _Now, just gotta keep the human out and try to keep Regina from doing anything crazy_.

The sheriff shook her head to answer the question. "Just trying to wrap my mind around having them. Also trying to wrap my mind around going from friend to daughter with Mary Margaret." Mentally, she winced, doubting that Regina wanted to hear that name.

"How is she? Gotten herself together after having me kill my own mother? Justified in her actions?" Regina guessed. Again, there was not a sound of anger or maliciousness in her voice. While her eyes had some life in them, her fire was still out.

Emma shrugged, not wanting to go into it. She hated that Regina accurately guessed what happened. And that was yet another thing that Emma was trying to wrap her brain around. Mary Margaret was a good person, but she had definitely done a horrible thing that no one wanted to acknowledge as a horrible thing, including herself. She had not called Mary Margaret on tricking Regina into killing her own mother, but had been running it around her brain and it was always a messed thing no matter how she thought about it. She just could not bring herself to say anything about it and she hated that it was out of fear. She was afraid that if she said something wrong or did something wrong, her parents would reject her, just as every other family that she ever had.

"Of course, that's what happened." Regina sighed and she suddenly looked quite tired, but sleepy, not exhausted and dead. Her shoulders dropped and she caressed Lady again. "Well, Miss Swan, I will not be harming myself today, but I should take care of Lady."

Emma nodded. "Yeah, that's good." She stood up, feeling confident that Regina would be fine for the day. "I might pop in tomorrow." She needed to make sure that Regina was going get better.

"If you happen to do it after your shift ends, there might be dinner waiting," Regina commented and that almost made the sheriff fall over.

Emma was not sure how she managed to stay on her feet, but she thanked whatever divine being existed that she did. "Uh … cool. Thanks."

"No, thank you, sheriff." Regina then rose and vanished deeper into the house.

Emma took that as her time to exit. She was not sure if Regina would ever be totally fine, but she hoped that the dead look was gone for now. It seemed like Regina turned a corner. And she was getting dinner out of it.

"Awesome," Emma sighed as she went to her car. Now, she could go get some rest.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: The ladies have dinner and bond.


	6. Comfort Food

I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does.

6: Comfort food

Regina retreated to her bedroom before she was even sure that Emma was gone. The sheriff was a creature that Regina did not entirely understand, but for some reason made her feel nostalgic and she was not sure why that was. There was something about their latest encounter that made something from the past echo through her mind, but it never took on any shape for her to pin down.

"No matter," she muttered as she placed Lady down on her bed. She put the pup on the pillow that Lady usually slept on, figuring the smell would make sure she remained asleep while Regina went to take care of herself. After all, she could not nurse Lady back to proper health if she was the walking dead.

She went into her bathroom and was not sure how in the world she managed to get out of her clothes. Peeling was not even close to accurate and she flinched when she finally realized how putrid she smelled. She could scarcely believe that Lady had cuddled into her with the toxic fumes coming off of her. She could only wonder how the hell Emma had not passed out when she stepped through the door as she suspected the whole house must have held a similar odor.

Climbing into the shower stall, she barely registered how she looked. She realized how pale she was only because of how red her skin became under the hot water. Before she washed, she stared at her hand, mesmerized by her fingers. They were bony and she imagined how easily they would snap. She then imagined the rest of her body was in similar condition, so she wondered how easily she could snap.

"She could have ended me with little more than a heavy breath, but instead she delivered Lady back to me. Is that what good people do?" she asked the steam. It gave her no answers.

Regina doubted that she would be able to figure it out on her own, so she focused on cleaning herself up. She washed her hair, several times, and was stunned that bugs did not crawl out of her scalp. The rest of her received the same attention. She was able to square her shoulders by the time she turned the spray off. She grabbed a towel, avoided the mirror, and returned to her bedroom, finding Lady awake and whining at the edge of the bed.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here," Regina cooed, reaching out to scratch underneath Lady's chin.

Lady relaxed long enough for Regina to dress herself, but as soon as she was in clothing, Lady was back to whining. She picked the puppy up and that was good enough for Lady. She held the canine close and that was good enough for her.

"Let's have some dinner, Lady. We both need to regain our strength," she whispered, kissing the top of the dog's head.

Lady yapped in approval. Regina put Lady's food in her bowl for her before making herself a simple salad. Lady did not eat until Regina sat down and did the same. Every few seconds, they paused and looked at each other. Regina gave Lady small smiles and Lady returned the expressions as much as a dog could.

"Now, how about a treat?" Regina asked once they were finished with their meals.

Lady barked again as the witch put her plate in the sink. She noticed the stack already there and recalled Emma giving her food through out the week. She could not recollect if she ate anything, though. There was a flutter in her chest and she massaged the area briefly. She knew that she should be upset that the sheriff left dirty dishes in her sink, but she could not bring herself to care. She thought about the other things that the blonde had done.

"Lady, we'll be having company tomorrow. So, after your treat, we'll have to straighten up. We have no desire to entertain in a messy house," Regina stated.

The dog yapped and waited patiently for her treat. After that, Lady trailed behind Regina as she cleaned the house, picking up books and pictures that she had no idea how they came to be on the floor in the first place. Lady actually picked up a few books that she could and tried to pick up ones that she could not. Regina petted the pup for the gesture. She had to use her magic to dispel the odor embedded in the sofa from her week of using it as a coffin. She picked up the blanket and held it to her body for a moment before taking it to the laundry room.

"Well, that's all done. Now, what should we do?" Regina wondered aloud and her eyes fell on her laptop. "You know, Lady, maybe it's time to read more on caring for a puppy. Perhaps I did something wrong and that's why you ran off." She liked to believe that Lady would have come back to her, as Emma said, but she got caught in the drainpipe. "Where you out there trying to find your way home, but lost? What were you seeking outside? Is there something out there that you need or want?"

Of course, Lady could not answer any of those questions. Regina sat down on the couch with her laptop. Lady paused only to pick up her rubber ducky and then tried to jump up to the sofa. She did not have enough spring in her legs and face-planted right into the couch. Regina smiled softly, shook her head, and picked up the slightly disoriented pup. Lady curled up in Regina's lap, gnawing on her toy and staring at the computer screen.

Regina spent some time reading about spaniel puppies specifically. She learned that the breed was friendly and social, so she believed that she found her "mistake" with Lady. She could not keep the puppy coped up in the house all day and expect Lady to be happy, even if she seemed to be more than pleased with things. Regina sighed to herself and believed that she knew what she would have to do.

"We'll start going for walks tomorrow and maybe you'll be able to meet some … thing," she said, unable to be optimistic about Lady seriously getting to socialize with any person or animal denizen of Storybrooke with her holding the leash. "I should also look into getting you tags." She knew that she would end up just using magic to create one.

With that settled, Regina decided it was bedtime. She felt like she was ready to fall asleep on her feet and she could only wonder why that was. She had been on the couch for a week, after all. She should be able to stay awake all night, not that she wanted to.

"Come, Lady." The puppy let out another light bark.

They returned upstairs and Lady stayed at Regina's feet as she went through her nightly routine, which her teeth and face greatly appreciated, before they crawled into bed. Lady went to her pillow, which still held Emma's scarf. The pup tried to wrap the scarf around herself, using her mouth and bunching the material up in her tiny paws. Regina chuckled a bit, but helped by putting the wool scarf around the canine's little body. Lady yapped and then nipped and licked Regina's fingers. She knew the little show of appreciation should not have meant so much to her, but it had been so long since anything thanked her for something.

"Goodnight, Lady." Regina kissed the top of Lady's head.

Lady let out one final bark before settling down and resting. Regina did the same, finding that sleep came easy because she was so exhausted. In the morning, the pair had breakfast and then Regina set out to find the leash she had gotten Lady weeks ago when she first used magic to go to the pet shop. Lady squirmed and dodged when she tried to attach the thing to her collar; her new tag swayed with each move.

"Lady, this is not a game. Now, be still, so we can go for a proper walk. You may learn your neighborhood," Regina stated in a stern tone.

Lady whined, thoroughly reprimanded apparently. She sat while Regina put the leash on her. They then came to another problem. When Regina opened the front door, Lady cowered away. Regina's brow furrowed briefly.

"Lady, come. We're going for a walk," Regina said, moving to stand just outside the door. Lady whimpered and took another step back. "Oh, Lady, come. You know I would never let anything happen to you. We'll be together." Regina opened her arms. She wanted Lady to come to her because she did not want to chance traumatizing the pup further.

Lady was still for a long moment before taking tentative steps toward loving arms. She paused several times, looking around at the outside world and sniffing for possible danger. Regina smiled and encouraged her until Lady crossed the threshold. Regina cheered, as much as she could anyway, and Lady held her head up high, yapping with pride for being so brave. She was rewarded with a treat, which got a merry yip out of her.

"Now, for that walk," Regina said as she took hold of Lady's leash again.

Regina led and Lady followed and they were out on the street in seconds. They walked a few feet and then the former queen noticed the stares. She was surprised at how many people were out and about before the sun was up, but they were all watching her. She made it to the end of the block before she decided that walking in plain sight might not be the best idea.

"Come, Lady, we can still walk, but I would rather you remain safe and I do not wish to see what these fools might attempt," she said and they quickly detoured onto a path through the nearby woods.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina was surprised to hear the doorbell a couple of hours before Emma's shift ended. She supposed with no acting mayor and Snow White along with her idiot husband essentially running Storybrooke, Emma could do whatever she wanted. Regina found herself a little disappointed that the sheriff was acting the part of the spoiled princess. Emma did not seem the type, especially after hinting to having some trouble with her parents.

Lady jumped at the sound the bell and rushed the door with Regina not far behind, despite her shock. Regina smiled slightly at the pup's reaction. While Lady had been reluctant to leave the house, she at least still associated the bell with something good.

Regina was in for a new twist when she opened the door. "Henry?" While it was early for Emma to be done with work, it was right on time for Henry to be done with school.

He offered a crooked, awkward smile, which troubled her. She was his mother. He should not feel awkward around her. Things should not be this way. She had spent the entire day trying not to think about it because everything between her and Henry was so fractured. She was not sure if they would ever be fine, especially since she was vaguely aware that he had been in the house at least once during that week she had not moved from the couch. He had seen her at her worse. _Why should he want to be with me after seeing that wretched sight?_

"Hi, Mom," he said in a mumble, eyes on his feet.

"Come in, please," Regina said, not that it was necessary. Lady no longer felt the need to dash out of every open door and this was Henry's home. He was always welcomed … not counting that deeply depressed period because she really wished he had not seen her like that. No child needed to see his mother unable to care for herself.

Henry only nodded as he stepped inside. She closed the door behind him while Lady peered at Henry from behind Regina's feet. Henry looked around and Regina was proud of herself for being off the sofa, properly dressed, and tuned into reality. She was more than aware that she had plenty to work through, but at least she could put up a strong front for Henry again.

"Are you feeling better now?" Henry asked, having trouble focusing on her face. His eyes glanced behind her.

Regina leaned down to him and lifted his chin to look her in the eye. "I am better now." It was the truth, but she had a long road to travel. Oddly enough, she felt better emotionally than she had in years. Something inside of her changed since yesterday and she was not sure what it was. Truthfully, she did not care. She wanted to get better for Henry, for Lady, for herself.

His smile brightened and relaxed a bit. "That's good. I'm really sorry about letting Lady out. I didn't do it on purpose. Please, believe me." His eyes were laden with guilt and sorrow to the point that it broke her heart.

Regina opened her mouth, ready to soothe him, but she thought better of it. He hated when she lied and she would be lying if she told him that she did believe him. She recalled his vitriolic accusations and the hatred in his eyes. She had little doubt that he had released Lady to free the dog and foil her imaginary scheme. But, she could not say such a thing to his pleading eyes.

"Of course," she told him, forcing a smile of her own. He might not believe she was his mother or that she loved him, but she was and she did. She had an obligation to protect him, even from the truth.

"Um … I was wondering if it was okay for me to meet Lady," he said shyly, shifting a bit from foot to foot.

She chuckled a bit, hoping to cover up the discomfort that crept her entire form. He had already let Lady out into the cold, harsh world. The poor pup was rather traumatized and did not seem to even want to get close to Henry, still hiding behind her. Glancing down, she could see that Lady was ready to growl at him. She worried that he might do something else to the puppy, but that mother in her could not completely mistrust Henry.

Henry made Regina have faith again, even if it was a long time ago. It was faith that she could count on someone else because she had to have that faith in him. He was her son, even if he did not seem to think. Maybe that was what changed in her – she had faith again. Not in humanity, but in someone beyond Henry. It was a start and that start made her feel a little less ruined. The shadows that haunted her seemed to recede just a little. It was terrifying, but nowhere near as horrible as how she had felt before.

"She's very skittish right now, so just don't make any sudden movement," she cautioned him in gentle tone, recognizing that Lady was not the only skittish one right now.

He nodded and she picked up Lady. She cuddled Lady to her chest to keep the pup calm, but she leaned close to Henry for him to understand that she was sharing. He leaned in close, too, inspecting Lady with only his eyes. Lady did the same, watching him and sniffing the air around him.

"Hi, Lady. I'm Henry," he introduced himself. He put his hand out, trembling somewhat, allowing Lady the opportunity to smell him.

The puppy leaned in, but paused. Henry's face fell and it broke Regina's heart, but she could not force Lady to interact. The pup turned and buried her head in Regina's chest and then turned back, as if expecting Henry to have disappeared. He continued to hold his hand out and Lady looked at the shaking attachment. Regina gently rubbed the pup's head, letting her know that everything was all right. After a few long, tense seconds, Lady nudged his fingers with her nose. A giggle escaped him as she licked his fingertips and Regina felt herself relax just a little. Lady drew back and the former Queen turned her attention fully to her son.

"Do you think I could come by and walk her sometime so she'll get to know me better?" he requested, eyes on the floor as he kicked around an imaginary pebble with one foot.

Horrible visions flooded Regina with Henry giving Lady away to the first person he dubbed better than she or worse Henry taking Lady to the animal shelter. Anything to make sure that Regina never saw her again. She could not stomach the thought and, worse than that, was the fact that she was having such thoughts about Henry, the boy she just decided to have faith in. Her son, whom she loved and adored as best she could. She guessed that she did not have much faith, after all. _I suppose it is too soon, but hopefully things won't always be this way_. Of course, hope had never served her well in the past, especially when it came to her son, but this was a side effect of faith.

"Mom, it'll be fine. I promise to take care of her and I'll bring her right back," Henry vowed in a tone that was too serious for talking about walking a dog. Of course, Lady was much more than a dog.

Regina sighed. "You can, but not right away. I only started walking her this morning. She still has to get used to it and we have to figure out the best route for her."

He nodded. "Okay, how about while you do that, I come over and play with Lady after school? That way, she can get used to me and she'll trust me and like me when I get to walk her?"

"I'd like that," Regina answered truthfully. She knew Henry was doing all of this more out pity from seeing her in the pathetic state yesterday than anything else. She would take that because it meant that he cared about her on some level. Of course, it probably could not be classified as love, but at least it was something.

Henry smiled, like he did something right. She decided to let him think that. She wanted him to feel good about himself. Besides, seeing his smile warmed her just a bit.

"I should go. Grams worries about me being out alone," he said with an awkward shrug.

A nervous smile and chuckle escaped her. She hoped it did not sound as borderline hysterical to him as it did to her. "Of course."

He stood there for a moment, as if he was unsure of what to do. Regina was not sure what to do either since she was not sure where she stood with him. She would have loved to hug him and hold him tightly, but she doubted that would be appreciated at the moment, if ever again. He left with a little wave and mumbled farewell.

The house was back as it was and Lady moved around, wanting to get put down now. Regina did so and the canine picked up her favorite toy before falling in step with Regina, who stared at the door for a moment. She was not sure what to make of Henry's visit and she did not want to think too deeply into it or she was certain that she would put herself back in the place that she did not want to be. For the moment, she decided to let it be. She would see where he was going with this.

"Let's see how the food is coming along," Regina suggested. Lady barked and followed the ex-mayor into the kitchen.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma frowned as she placed her hand on the doorknob and found it twisted with no problem. The door was unlocked, so clearly Regina still had some of her "don't give a fuck" attitude, but Emma knew that she was a bit better. Stepping inside the house, she smelled the promised dinner. She noted that the house did not seem nearly as gloomy as it did yesterday. It certainly smelled better and did not seem like it was the entrance to the underworld anymore. Lady charged out to her, yapping and growling with her rubber duck in her mouth.

"You're certainly looking better than you did yesterday." Emma smiled as she leaned down to pet Lady. The attention earned happy barks from the puppy. The sheriff laughed as Lady placed her paw on Emma's hand, trying to bat her hand around from the feel of things.

"She's fed, warm, and safe," Regina commented, stepping out of the kitchen.

"Can't ask for more," the blonde replied with a smile.

"No, I suppose not."

"Believe me, I know. So, I see you got her a tag. I was gonna pick one up for you, but I was really busy today."

"Thank you for the thought and thank you for coming, even if you are an hour late."

Emma almost frowned because there was no bite in Regina's words. Any other version of Regina would have been pissed, but the woman before her did not even seem mildly irritated. She was just stating a fact, like Emma being late was similar to the sky being blue. She guessed the emotions would come as Regina healed, as long as Regina allowed herself to heal.

"Yeah, well, the people freaked out when somebody emerged from her house at six this morning in all of her former glory with a puppy on a leash. You'd have thought the Gates of Hell opened up and it rained fire and brimstone with all the phone calls I got." Emma rolled her eyes as the ridiculousness of her whole day.

"You received phone calls at the station because I went out to walk Lady?" Regina asked incredulously.

Emma scoffed. "I thought the world was coming to an end and everyone insists that I have to come down and investigate. I came out, but didn't see you and the calls just kept coming in. I mean, all day long. One time, I asked if you were walking Cerberus because if not, I wasn't getting off my ass. Wrong thing to say, especially when the person then insisted you _were_ walking Cerberus. How the hell did you get Cerberus to walk with Lady?" she chuckled.

There was an amused twinkle in Regina's eyes. "I don't think she would share me with Cerberus."

Emma laughed. _Oh, there's something new and wonderful_. "I could see you walking Cerberus. It's good that you're joking around. You're feeling better?" Just from the ex-mayor's appearance, the fact that she was in new clothes and had a little color to her, she knew the answer to that, but she wanted to see how Regina would respond.

Regina wrapped her arms around her stomach and glanced away briefly. "I am feeling…"

Emma nodded. While she knew that Regina "feeling" might not great be for everyone, it was better than her not feeling at all. Regina lacking all emotions could have easily destroyed the whole town because she clearly had little problem with destroying herself in many ways. She was sure things would get to that if Regina did not have Lady with her. She hoped that things were on an upswing.

"Well, you can sit down." Regina motioned to the dining room.

The sheriff arched an eyebrow, but followed orders. _This is still weird, but it's not bad_. She went to the table with Lady trailing behind. The table was set for two with bread and salad already on the table. Before Emma could inhale the bread, Regina entered with the entrée and placed the plate in front of Emma before sitting down across from the blonde. For a moment, they just sat in awkward, thick silence.

"Thanks for the dinner," Emma said, if only to put something out there. Hopefully Regina was willing to talk, like she was yesterday.

Regina nodded. "This is the least I can do. I'm grateful to have Lady back. Beyond that…" She took a deep breath. "I'm grateful that you cared about my mental health, or lack thereof, even if it was just because of Henry."

Emma shrugged. "He was part of it, a huge part, but I didn't want to see you go down that road. I wouldn't be able to stomach listening to comments from people, which I know would have followed immediately. I mean, don't get me wrong, you have fucked up a lot, but no one should be driven to suicide after being tricked into killing her mother and then having people say shit like you got what you deserved."

There was another nod. "I was so tired suddenly. I had nothing left in me."

Emma arched an eyebrow. "Nothing left?"

Regina glanced away. Emma knew that Regina was dying to talk since she had been doing so already. Regina was clearly drained. She was over the edge, but thankfully it was not the cliff that she had been hanging from before. Now, she could unburden herself to the one person she had let behind at least one of her walls.

"I've never felt this way before. Usually, I have so much fight in me. I've always been determined and almost like an unstoppable force. Whatever burned inside of me went out that day in the woods. When Henry left with you … whatever my driving force had been died. I mean, it was just gone and nothing was going to bring it back, like nothing was going to bring Henry or my mother back. I didn't know what to do. I came here, lied on the sofa, and didn't get up. I mean, at all," Regina explained.

"You mean, like when Lady was missing?"

"Exactly like that."

Emma could see it, but only because she had seen it before. Of course, when she witnessed it, she had been able to make sure Regina at least ate. She could not get the former mayor to do much else, though. In fact, it was a struggle to get Regina to even eat. _How the hell did she survive in here by herself then?_

"You mean you lied on the couch and didn't do anything at all?" the blonde inquired, just to be sure. _She was going to waste away on the couch? That was her suicide plan?_ It seemed like a very painful and long way to die.

"Your mother came knocking on my door and I couldn't be bothered. I could hear her pleading through the door for me to kill her and I still couldn't get up. Nothing moved me," Regina said, sounding a little astonished herself at the story. This helped Emma understand completely how "drained" the witch was.

"Mary Margaret came here?" Emma asked incredulously. _And begged to die and you didn't do anything?! Yeah, Regina, you were messed up_.

"She did. Nothing came of it. As I said, I couldn't get off of the sofa. I felt nothing spark inside me at her presence. The fire wasn't there, didn't ignite. I didn't care. I didn't feel anything at all. No, it was more than that. I can't even explain it. I was just dead inside. Completely and utterly dead."

"So, what made you take in Lady?" Emma inquired. She did not understand how a puppy got Regina off of the couch if the idea of killing her mortal enemy could not do that. After all, killing Mary Margaret had supposedly been Regina's driving force for years.

Regina shook her head and shrugged. "She seemed so pathetic. Perhaps that was it. I'm not sure. What bothered you so much about me hurting myself? Everyone else would have celebrated, if anyone ever bothered to enter the house and discover my corpse. You should be at the forefront of that and, yet, you made it seem like such a thing would greatly disturb you."

Emma grimaced. "I couldn't imagine celebrating someone committing suicide. I definitely couldn't watch someone walk down that road. I saw it once when I was younger and I didn't like the person, but watching her spiral down until my foster family found her hanging in the garage was more than any of us needed. I don't want to live it again, especially not with a ten-year-old boy. We'd both have guilt, knowing we helped drive you to it. I don't know how I would handle it, let alone how I would help him handle it."

Regina nodded, but was obviously taking it in because it took her a long moment to say anything. "So, this was not totally selfless."

Emma dug into her food for a few seconds. "Is anything?"

"Not in my experience, but you don't seem to want anything either," the former mayor pointed out.

"Not really, beyond us being able to get along anyway. I don't want to drive you to your death, that's for damn sure, especially not from being tricked. Making it all the more horrible would be that happening after you were trying to be better. I mean, you went along with your mom and everything, but before that you were trying to be better and you saved me and Mary Margaret."

Regina gave a slow nod. "Even with that reasoning, you're still one of the few people in my life who showed some concern for me without wanting something beyond not having my death on your conscious."

Emma's brow furrowed as she frowned. "Ever?"

"Ever."

Emma reeled. "God, I thought my life was fucked up. Not that it gives you an excuse." While she did not want Regina to kill herself or something along those lines, she did not want Regina to think all was forgiven.

"I don't look at it as an excuse."

"Well, it's not a valid reason for everything you've done either. In fact, I'm damn near certain, there is no valid excuse for everything you've done."

The ex-mayor did not respond. Her eyes drifted down and her nostrils flared. Clearly, Regina was feeling, but definitely not to the emotional level that she was known for. What was once a supernova was now a match flame and it seemed to shine inward instead of exploding outward. Emma thought that might be a good thing. Regina should reflect on what she did rather than just have continue reacting with unrelenting fury.

For a while, they ate in silence. Emma was pleased that she had not been kicked out, but she was starting to consider that she might have been cast out from behind that wall. Regina then spoke up and let her know that she might have actually made it past more walls than she thought.

"Have you ever thought about it?" Regina asked quietly.

Green eyes blinked. "What? Suicide?"

"Have you?"

Emma shook her head. "I run when times get rough. I've never stuck around anything for it to get that bad."

"I suppose."

"You have before this?"

Regina nodded. "When your mother was at my door requesting that I kill her, she offered her heart to me while begging for me to open the door. I considered taking my own heart. I put my hand to my chest, but even the thought of reaching in and yanking was too much for me. It's an idea I have toyed with on occasion, reaching in, feeling my own heart, crushing it with more ease than any other I've every held. I can never be sure if it was a serious notion or not. Clearly I never followed through."

"And before that? Have you thought of other means?" She had a feeling that Regina had contemplated it long before and probably did not want to acknowledge it because it would mean that she had lost that fire before.

Regina sighed and glanced away. "How's the food? Is it to your liking?"

"Yeah, it's great. Really good." Emma decided to finish eating, figuring that the conversation was over.

Lady whined at her feet and she dropped a piece of roasted chicken without thinking. As soon as if hit the floor, wide, green eyes stared at Regina. Regina arched an eyebrow and Emma could see some of that spark again. It was almost like indignation, but not quite there yet.

"I have no intentions of raising a fat dog, so do not give her table scraps. I also do not desire to have to deal with an ill dog. She has her own food. If you're willing to feed my dog the wrong things, I can only imagine what you're feeding my son," Regina remarked. Her tone was actually light, joking even.

"Hey, he's doing all right," Emma answered as truthfully as she could. He was not doing all right, but neither was she. They put up a good front, though. _I'm going to have to get him to deal with stuff eventually, though. Can't just let the kid be confused for the rest of his life_.

"I'm sure," Regina said dryly. "He was here earlier." She tried to sound normal, but her voice trembled a bit. She did not appear distressed, so Emma doubted that he had done something wrong.

"Did he apologize?" Emma guessed.

"He did. He also offered to walk Lady for me."

"That's good. He misses you and probably sees this as a way to reconnect."

Regina scoffed. "Reconnect? He sees me as the Evil Queen and nothing more."

"Not true. It would be easier for him if that were the case, but underneath it all, he knows you're mom. He knows you love him and he loves you, but then there's all this other crap going on. It's really confusing to him and he needs to sort it out in his head and in his heart. He'll come around, especially if you come around."

A small frown settled onto the brunette's face. It lacked the steel, terror, and supremacy that she used to reign over. "What's that supposed to mean?" she actually sounded curious more than anything else.

"Regina, don't act like you don't know. Don't pick up the pieces just to go back to the same thing that helped break you down in the first place. Give Henry a chance. Hell, give yourself a chance."

"A chance at what? He'll never want to be with me again."

"Then why did he offer to walk Lady? He wants to have something with you and you want to have a relationship with him. You have to meet him halfway."

Regina turned her attention back to her meal. Lady moved from near Emma to the former mayor and that simple action got a smile out of Regina. In that moment, Emma wondered if Regina just had to take care of some outside entity, so she could have dealt with her own serious emotional problems. Of course, she had Henry for ten years and had more than likely remained the same … or maybe gotten worse. Emma was not sure which. Whatever it was, having Lady seemed to be helping, but she was not sure if Lady would be enough to get Regina to truly change.

"I don't think I know how," Regina admitted.

"I think you'll figure it out. You both want to get along," Emma said.

Teary brown eyes stared at the sheriff. "Does he?"

"Let him walk Lady and you'll see. He doesn't hate you and he definitely doesn't want you to sit in here and go stir crazy. He's ten. He's confused. As much as he might like that he was right, it's still a lot to take in that he lives with a bunch of fairy tale characters and the woman that raised him for ten years cursed everybody and there's magic and he met his dad and just stuff going on. He's coping as best he can and at his own speed."

Regina nodded. "And are you coping, dear?"

It was Emma's turn to avoid the question. She was not coping. She was avoiding. She did it well. Although, she was sure that it would eventually catch up with her because she could already feel the weight of the world nipping at her heels.

"Better than you," Emma teased, which she realized too late was the wrong thing to do.

"More than likely because you don't know how to take your own heart out. I imagine your car is full of junk food wrappers, though."

"Uh … I pled the fifth, your honor," Emma answered with a laugh. _How did she know that?_

Regina smiled slightly, but it managed to reach her eyes and there was no malicious intent. Emma wondered if Regina had actually bottomed out and all she could do was improve now. She was a little envious because she knew that she was still slowly spiraling and she was not sure the bottom was in sight for her.

"Well, there's a decent meal here whenever you want one," Regina said in a small voice.

Emma could have been knocked over with a feather. "Um, I'll keep that in mind."

Regina only nodded. They focused on their food after that. Lady wandered back over to Emma, whining for scraps. Emma looked at Regina and smirked. Regina narrowed her eyes and Emma consciously decided to test this new thing between them.

"You better not, Miss Swan," Regina warned.

Emma dropped a piece of chicken on the floor. "Oops."

"Miss Swan," Regina was about to scold her, but then shot a glare at Lady. "You better stop it right now," she ordered.

Lady seemed to get the mood because she hesitated for a moment and then picked up the chicken. Regina jumped to her feet as Lady fled the scene. Emma could not help laughing. Regina glared again.

"You really want to have this dinner to go, don't you?" the former mayor inquired.

Emma only smiled. This shift in their relationship, she could live with. Emma was confident that little human being inside of Regina was blossoming before her eyes. And it was helping her avoid her own issues. A win-win situation as far as she was concerned.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Regina and Emma take Lady for a walk.


End file.

Once Upon a Time, Angst, Drama