Naruto 1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes**: I'm writing this as though "I" (as in, the me who got transported to the Naruto world) haven't watched Naruto in a long while. Which is sort of true, I hadn't until recently, but I started again in preparation to write this fic.

(p.s. How do you do an underscore line break?)

…..

If I could've chosen to be born into any family in the Naruto Universe, I think I would have picked Nara. No way in a million years did I ask to be born a Hyuga.

Let me back up a little. I was in a transition period—just finishing up a semester at one school and looking forward to packing and transferring to another. I was expecting saying goodbye to my family in a way much less sudden or unanticipated than I did. In fact, I didn't really get to say goodbye at all.

_Wear your seatbelts_.

For a little while I didn't realize how amazing it was that I was still alive when I should've been dead. I just didn't have the thought processes to. That sounds funny, but everything was blurry and instinctual back then. I didn't really have much control and most of the time the world was just dream-like. I've had some _long_ dreams before; where there's no sense of time and that's sort of what it felt like. Sometimes when I was cold or hungry I began to get it, because those feelings are sharper and clearer than others. I began to feel uncomfortable and strange and like something was very, very _off_. Then I'd cry and someone would wrap me in a blanket or feed me and I'd go to sleep for real.

Eventually I learned who I was. The realization came suddenly. It was probably a day like any other, but I was finally beginning to think and see really clearly. The lady in the room (_Mom_? I thought tentatively) picked me up and put me on a blanket. Then she went and picked another young child and put her on the blanket too. As I stared at the other girl's pale lavender eyes with growing suspicion the lady said a sentence in Japanese that included the names "Hinata" and "Hikaru." I burst into tears as I finally, _finally_ fully realized what had happened.

The lady fussed over me, picking me up and patting me on the back, but I was inconsolable for the next hour.

I had lost everything and everyone.

I was going to be a ninja—I doubted I'd have a choice as a Hyuga. I was going to kill people some day and I was going to have to find a way to be okay with that. In connection with, but more than, that, I was going to have to learn how to be _aggressive. _ In my former life I wasn't a fighter. I wasn't even close.

Eventually I calmed down enough to stop crying and was returned to the blanket. Hinata, who hadn't gotten upset during that whole time, was now napping on the blanket beside me.

000

Time…didn't fly, but we turned one and then two.

I learned that I had already changed things beyond just being born. Our mother was dead. Added stress from the Kyuubi attack coupled with a twin pregnancy caused Akemi Hyuga to go into premature labor. Two weeks after the attack we were born two months early and Akemi-kaa-san died.

I was horrorstruck. Hinata lost her mother far earlier than she should've because of me. Hanabi would never be born because of me. Who knew the full effect losing his wife would have on Hiashi…because of me. I really literally should never have been born, and because I was someone had died.

I cried most nights after Hinata fell asleep, for a lot of reasons. Not only did I cause someone's death, but I was terrified of being a ninja, I'd died a painful death and lost my former world, I felt alone here, and as a young child I simply didn't have as much control over my emotions as a twenty-something year old. They were overwhelming.

For instance, I _knew _in my head that I hadn't chose to come here and part of the blame of Akemi dying lay with the Kyuubi and Madara, and that there wasn't anything I could've done to stop her death, but almost every time I thought of her a horrible guilt and sadness threatened to crush my heart—because I _also_ knew that if I didn't exist then she wouldn't have died when Hinata and I were born. My head wanted to protect my emotional stability (or at least get me to _calm down_) by telling me that it wasn't my fault, that I could mourn but that I should also move on; my heart, on the other hand, wanted to insist that it was _all my fault_, that I must always remember this and I needed to make up for it somehow-as impossible as that would be. My heart was coming out the victor most of the time.

And thus, I cried.

I forgot I was living in a house with a ninja father—who was kept up most nights with business and his own grief—who had excellent hearing and supernatural eyesight. So, one day at breakfast, my heart almost froze when he asked me in a soft voice "Hikaru, are you very sad?"

Then I could feel myself going to pieces as Hinata looked at me, alarmed. She didn't really cry about kaa-chan, because she'd never known her and our nannies were nice. Now, she started crying just because I was, and I managed to whisper "Yes." Father was silent for a full minute.

"I'm sorry." He said. I cried harder. _I _was sorry. Then he stood up, walked around the table, and picked me up. I immediately, instinctively, started to feel a little better. "It'll be okay." He bounced me up and down a little, "You will grow up to be a strong girl. A strong kunoichi. And nothing will make you cry." Even though I didn't really have positive feelings about being a ninja, the words were comforting. I could feel the love and conviction behind them, and I planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, tou-san." I said, sniffling. "I love you." This person wasn't the hardened person I knew from the anime, he was my dad, and I loved him. Then he had to pick Hinata up too, so that we could both get a hold of ourselves. I'll never forget that moment—the sun was streaming in the room, tou-san holding me and Hinata, and the great feeling of peace I suddenly had.

I started to get better. My emotions and crying didn't go away all at once, not by a long shot—but I could remember that moment and draw strength from it. That night I thought "Everything will be ok."

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic and props go to _Dreaming of Sunshine _for inspiring me. That is such a great story I can't give it enough praise. A note of warning, I just started a new semester at college and I'm a slow writer. I'll try to update at least once a month though.

Also, since next chapter will deal with the twins turning three, I'm seriously debating whether or not to give Hikaru the cursed seal. Obviously Neji received his at that point, but would Hikaru? Hanabi wasn't given the cursed seal when she was young. Not only that, after Hanabi was declared the heir _Hinata _was never given the cursed seal. Why not? I don't know. So, does anyone have any thoughts?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hikaru! Do not lean on your left foot so much. Balance yourself properly and then try the strike again."

"Hai!"

I tried to center myself for the hundredth time as Dad corrected Hinata on her stance, cursing my body for a habit that it shouldn't even have. Apparently, even though in this life I'd never broken a hip, I still automatically favored my right leg. It was a subtle tilt—I thought—but Dad missed nothing and the deviation got me in trouble time and again.

"Hah!" I struck forward with my hand, rotating my shoulders and hips and letting my right foot turn on the smooth wood of the dojo floor. Then I returned to starting position, making sure to center myself again. I had actually always wanted to learn martial arts, so I didn't resent doing this as much as I'd thought I would. It was hard work, but for now it was still fun.

We'd begun training four months ago after hitting our two and a half year mark. At first it had been purely stances, stretching, and exercising, but last month we'd started sparring too. Mostly Dad taught us, but sometimes Hizashi-ji-san did, and sometimes another member of the family did. I had been under the impression that in the anime Hiashi had always trained Hinata, but I guessed that in reality he was probably too busy.

Thirty-two repetitions later it was time to spar. Today was my turn to fight Dad first. Hinata retreated to the side and sat down properly next to Hizashi-ji-san, who was observing, as he often did. Neji-nii-san had never joined us, so I guessed that was something that only started after he got the Cursed seal. I huffed out a breath, knowing that while defeating Dad was impossible, success still was. A smile from him after a sparring session was like a rousing cheer.

We took up positions across from each other. I eyed him, almost amused by our height difference.

"Begin!"

000

That hadn't gone as well as I'd hoped. He had frowned a little, though for what reason I couldn't fathom. I thought I'd done pretty much as well as the day before, but maybe that was the problem. I was still shaking just a little from exertion, even though I'd gotten to rest all through Hinata's spar.

No time to think about that now. Hinata and I were going to spar in a few minutes, after a breather. The first time we sparred, it ended up with Hinata having a screaming hissy-fit and trying to punch the living daylights out of me. (What? She's an angel in the anime, but they don't call them terrible two's without cause.) Dad had gotten pretty angry, we both cried and promised never to do that again, and we went without dessert for a week.

Hinata, dare I say it, was simply a bit more competitive than in the anime. I think she was trying to be the dominate twin, even if she didn't know it. That was a battle that hadn't stopped in my previous life until both I and my identical twin grew up and neither of us needed to be dominate, we just supported each other. Before that, I bossed my twin around a lot while she won almost all the arguments. Hey, we balanced each other out. I hoped Hinata and I wouldn't argue so much—that was something I was going to try and prevent.

"Begin!"

I was snapped out of my thoughts and forced to dodge as Hinata came at me. We were on pretty even terms except that whoever sparred with Dad first always got more rest than the other. Usually on the days I rested more I won, but not always—just as she didn't always win even with the extra time.

I knocked her hand out of the way with my left and aimed for her heart with my right. She blocked and hooked my ankle, sending me crashing to the floor. I rolled out of the way of her kick and kicked out at her leg, connecting but not with enough force to cause her to fall. She back pedaled and I got myself up to a crouch before being on the defense again.

The Gentle Fist style is interesting. Despite what the name suggests, we held our hands open. We tried to punch hard, but a "hit" needed barely a touch, preparing us for the time when we would shoot chakra into our opponent's system. The style focused almost exclusively on punches, but because we couldn't mold chakra at such an early age we were taught and allowed to kick when sparring each other. With Dad, we were restricted to our hands. (This had a few reasons: one, we _were_ trying to focus more on our punching technique; two, we could kick because if we ever ran out of chakra in a fight we'd have something more to rely on. A very few Hyuga in history had even become famous for using a weapon as a fallback. I liked that idea.)

I'd managed to straighten up and get Hinata on the defensive. She was backing up as I punched, but I was only landing hits on her arms. I ducked as she punched at me and landed a hit to her stomach.

In these spars if either of us "hit" the other's heart, lungs, neck, or spine it was an automatic win. Otherwise Dad would watch carefully and see who hit where, calling out "Hikaru, left arm," or "Hinata, left leg," and that limb would be disabled. Though really, once we had a leg gone it was pretty much over too. It wasn't like we had to hop around on one foot, but we'd been told that Gentle Fist really hurts and pretending to limp while fighting was a death sentence. Similarly, after an arm was disabled we could still punch with it, but we wouldn't be doing any "chakra damage."

I pulled back as Hinata stumbled backward and held her stomach, struggling to keep back tears. Eyes wide, I realized maybe I'd hit her harder than I meant to.

"Ow." She whispered. Then she started to cry.

"Hinata I'm sorry! I'm sorryI'msorryi'msorry!" I cried and ran forward to hug her. She backed away, shaking her head.

"Enough!" Hiashi-tou-san came forward and picked Hinata up, making her whimper. "You'll be _fine_. We'll have Baa-chan look at you." Baa-chan was good at medical jutsu.

I really, really hated this. I was competitive and I got caught up in the moment too often—forgetting that Hinata wasn't like me, she was just a little, little girl. She smiled and clapped whenever she won and she was absolutely devastated when she lost. To her these battles were so vivid and intense because they were her whole life.

Forget arguing—I would be happy if we weren't forced to _fight_ and _hurt _each other every day even if our skills and future lives depended on it. I was her enemy and I didn't want to be. She was still young enough that I would be pretty much forgiven by the end of the day, but what about in a year or so? She would hate me whenever I bested her. I started tearing up.

I glanced to where Hizashi-ji-san was hovering alone at the door, watching me. I tried to run past him. He crouched down quickly and stopped me.

"Hikaru-chan, you know she'll be ok." I nodded tearfully in response. He patted me on the head. "Don't cry then, ok? A ninja must be strong. You don't need to cry." I wiped my eyes on my arms and tried to suppress my sadness. It took a lot longer and a few more bursts of sobs than it would've in my last life, but I managed to crush the feeling—leaving me feeling empty and dull instead. It was a temporary fix and not a healthy one, but it was the reaction he wanted so I gave it to him. I faked a smile.

I didn't really resent him. It was just a head-start on shinobi conditioning, in a way. But that didn't mean I didn't know how damaging that sort of thing was. If you push your emotions around too much you begin to doubt your ability to feel them properly—push even farther and you lose them. But Hiashi and Hizashi really cared about us being strong, so I had to be careful of how much I cried.

"There, that's better. I'll take you to your room and you can take a nap, ok?" I nodded and he picked me up.

000

When I awoke Hinata was asleep on the bed beside mine and I was really hungry. I peeked my head out and saw Kō Hyuga in the hallway. Kō was nice and he looked out for us a lot. He had probably even been on his way to check on us. (Though I don't know why he didn't just use his Byakugan; I think he didn't want to use it frivolously.)

"Kō! What time is it?" I called softly as he approached, knowing he'd hear me no matter what and not wanting to disturb Hinata.

"It's lunch-time, Hikaru-chan. I was just coming to get you. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I'll wake up Hinata-nee-chan." I pattered back inside and gently shook Hinata awake.

"Hinata, it's time for lunch."

"Oh." She sat up slowly, but when this didn't bring any pain she shot up and ran to the door. Well, it looked like she hadn't quite forgiven me yet, but at least she wasn't hurt anymore.

After lunch Kō took us on a rare trip to the village. The first time we'd come into town was actually that day four months ago when we started training. Today, Kō bought us dango and let Hinata look at ribbons in the market and then took us to the Yamanaka flower shop so that I could look at flowers. The first time we came I'd insisted we look at flowers, but the real reason I'd wanted to go was to somehow communicate to Inoichi that I really needed to talk with him. He hadn't been in. This was only our second trip, so maybe he'd be there this time.

I didn't know how I was going to be able to talk to him even if he was there. I just knew that I needed to. I'd already caused a death and I wanted to prevent more than one—starting with Hizashi-ji-san. I didn't know what would become of me after everyone found out who I really was, but if I could save his life I figured it would be worth it. The reason I thought it needed to be Inoichi and not someone else is because he could prove whatever I said right away by doing a mind-walk jutsu. I was running out of time. Our birthday was in two months and I knew the kidnapping had happened soon after that.

A bell jingled as we walked into the shop. (Well, Kō walked in with us in his arms. Then Hinata demanded to be let down. Kō kept me in his arm because I couldn't see a lot of the flowers otherwise.) Inoichi wasn't behind the counter again—instead there was the same brown-haired lady from before. Kō walked through the shop so I could see the flowers up high and then I asked to be let down too so I could see the ones kept in trays on the floor.

I was staring at some violets when a deep unfamiliar voice said, "You can touch them gently, if you want." I let out an "eep!" and whirled around and looked up. There he was, towering over me and looking down with amusement in his eyes. Kō watched us from the corner of his eye further down the row.

"Oh. H-Hai! Ummm… Who are you?" I blurted out. He told me his name.

"It's nice to meet you, Yamanaka-san. I'm Hikaru."

"It's nice to meet you too, Hikaru." He said. My eyes darted back and forth between his, then down to the right toward the floor and back up again as I tried to think of what to say, anything to get him interested in me without Kō becoming suspicious too. As the silence between us stretched to more than a few seconds I realized I needed to say something again.

"Ah. Your eyes are pretty." He laughed and I blushed. What could I do? It wasn't like I could talk to him in English or ask him to mind-walk me when Kō was right there. Kō would tell Dad and…and I was being a coward. I was so scared to tell Hiashi, but I knew I needed to. Instead I'd hoped to just let Inoichi know, because he could prove it after digging around in my head and then _he _could tell everybody and I wouldn't have to worry about how I was going to tell the man who raised me that I wasn't _just_ his daughter. Hiashi had his loving moments, but he was still strict; I was afraid of what his reaction would be. But now that it came to it I couldn't tell Inoichi, not because I didn't want to anymore but because there wasn't any way.

"Hikaru! Are you okay?" Kō asked, alarmed. He was suddenly crouching beside me. I was trembling with fear just thinking about it all. I _needed_ to do this: to speak out and to let people know what was going to happen, but I felt like the whole world was crashing down around me all of a sudden. Had this not all been real to me before this moment? Had I been too trapped in just existing day to day so that just seeing and talking to Inoichi, another "character," had brought this on? This was all too big and I didn't know how to make people listen and believe. My heart thudded and my whole body shook as I looked from Kō to Inoichi—both of whom looked at me in a mixture of confusion, alarm, and concern.

"I-I-I need to talk to Dad, a-and Inoichi, and the H-hokage. I n-need to—" Kō swept me up in his arms, before turning and giving an apologetic bow to the Yamanaka clan head.

"Forgive me, Inoichi-sama. Hikaru is not well. I must take her home immediately."

"N-no!" My shout was muffled by Kō's shirt as he held me close and swept a confused Hinata up as well. "Stop! S-stop!" Now Kō was running faster than the normal eye could see. What screams made it past his shirt were immediately swept away by the wind.

000

I was screaming and crying hysterically by the time we got home. I was straight out panicking and I couldn't get myself to stop.

"Hiashi-sama!" Kō burst into Dad's study, unable to knock with his hands full (though doubtless Dad had heard us coming). He stood before the desk as Dad quickly arose. "Hikaru started panicking when we were in the village! Something is wrong." Hiashi Hyuga took his screaming, wailing, almost three-year old daughter from Kō's arm, and then he slapped her.

I quieted immediately, shocked (not _surprised_, but shocked into silence all the same), with eyes wide and cheek stinging. More sobs threatened as my chest heaved and my breath hitched, but I did not scream anymore. Could I? Could I tell this man? _I have to, I have to, I have to._

"Hikaru." Hiashi's voice was dangerously low. Kō looked on, shifting Hinata into a more comfortable position with only the slightest furrow on his forehead indicating concern.

"I-I'm sorry." I focused on my breathing. If I didn't I was just going to cry again.

"What happened?" He asked Kō.

"We were in the Yamanaka flower shop. After Inoichi came up to her and introduced himself she started shaking. There was no reason as far as I could see. She said she needed to talk to you, Inoichi, and the Hokage. I decided I should bring her back here immediately and made my apologies to Inoichi-sama." He said.

"I have something, something really important to tell you." I couldn't look him in the eyes. "I was scared. But I need to tell you." I glanced at him, but quickly looked away when I saw he was scowling.

"As far as you can tell," he was still talking to Kō "Inoichi didn't do anything to my daughter."

"No, Hiashi-sama. I was watching the whole time. He was just as surprised as I was." He said.

Hiashi's scowl deepened. He activated his Byakugan. His eyes didn't turn in my direction, but this close I could see them moving back and forth incrementally. I guessed he was examining me.

"Tou-san, what's wrong?" Hinata startled us all a little with her question.

"Nothing's wrong." He said, deactivating his Byakugan. "Kō, take them to their room." Before handing me over he said, "Hikaru, you know better than to act like that, especially in public. I don't want any more outbursts."

"But—"

"No buts!" Hiashi brought a hand up and rubbed at his temple. I wilted in Kō's grasp, taking in his tired expression. He wasn't going to listen. He thought I'd just thrown some weird temper tantrum and didn't want to deal with it.

Kō bowed as best as he could with two children in his arms and left the room. He had a worried scowl on his face as he took us to our room. He set us down and Hinata, still confused, wrapped her arms around me in a hug.

"I love you." She said. I smiled and said "Love you too" back. Kō started to leave.

"Kō!" He turned back. "Can I talk with you?" His face softened in concern.

"Of course, Hikaru-chan." He sat beside me. I tried moving to sit beside him, but Hinata had me in a death grip.

"Um. Hinata?"

"No!"

"Um." I tried hugging Hinata back, hoping when I let go she would too. It didn't work. I turned my head toward Kō, who was now looking amused. "Kō?"

"Hinata, let go of your sister."

"No!" She hugged me tighter. I would have face-palmed, had I been able to move my arms at that point.

"Hinata, I can't breathe!" It was almost true. "I can't breathe!" She let me go. I heaved in a huge breath of air. "Thank you!" Hinata giggled and then ran over to the corner we kept our toys in. I walked over and plopped down beside Kō, drawing my legs up and hugging my knees.

"Kō? Can I tell you a secret?" I wasn't sure about this at all, but nobody else would listen to me. Kō always listened. He looked surprised at my request, but he nodded. "You have to promise not to tell anyone else, though."

"Is this what you wanted to talk to Hiashi-sama about earlier?"

"Yeah, but now I don't think he'd believe me. I don't know if I want to tell him."

"It's ok, Hikaru. I won't tell anyone." I doubted he was telling the truth, but I still wanted to talk to him. I blew out a big breath. I didn't have any idea of where to begin.

"It's about why I started crying at the Yamanaka's flower shop. But, there's a lot to explain. Um, this is a weird question, but have you ever noticed anything…weird about me?"

Kō blinked, "Of course not, Hikaru." I scowled a little. That was a typical response to a little girl, but I wanted a sincere answer.

"No, I mean _really_. I want to know, have you noticed anything." Kō ran a hand through his dark, spiky hair, considering.

"I'm not sure I should be the one telling you this… I think you already know that you're very smart and serious for your age. Even with today, you have much better control over your own emotions than Hinata-chan. And then…" He hesitated.

"Then what?"

"Nothing."

"What?" I persisted.

"Look, Hiashi-sama will tell you when you're a little older. It has to do with your training." My brow furrowed in confusion. _My training? It isn't like I'm unusually good or anything. _

"Why do you ask?" Kō inquired.

"Well, um." I couldn't think of any smooth way to frame it. "I might be really serious because I'm not actually as young as I look, sort of."

"What?" Kō half laughed, caught off-guard. I put my forehead on my knees.

"I think I was reincarnated, but I remember my past life." I mumbled. "I remember having a family, and studying in school, and I remember dying. I didn't even speak this language there. I spoke a different one, and I knew part of another one." I turned my head to look up at Kō, whose eyes were now wide.

"Well…that would explain…" He started haltingly.

"Explain what?"

He ran a hand through his hair again. "May as well," he muttered, before raising his voice to a normal speaking level again "it's what I mentioned earlier. Ever since you were born you've had a large amount of yin chakra. We're afraid it may interfere with your training. No one knew what the cause was, but if you've already had a lifetime of experience, it would make sense."

"Oh. Well, yeah." I said lamely. I hadn't known that. Actually, I hadn't been able to manipulate my own chakra at all yet. I was really disappointed, because being sensitive to my own chakra and being a chakra sensor would be really, really useful. Byakugan did kind of the same thing, but you couldn't have it on 24/7 and people would have me pegged as a Byakugan user the moment they saw my eyes.

"Why did you want to tell the Hokage this?" Kō was looking at me thoughtfully and intently. Now was my turn to straighten up and run a hand through my hair.

"Uh. I'll tell you that, but I'm going to explain some other stuff first and then tell you, ok? But it all has to do with the answer. So, in my world, there were _a lot_ of stories. There were thousands of writers making up stories. And some people thought that there might be different worlds. And some people thought that with so many different worlds there was a chance that anything that we could think of was probably actually happening somewhere. And people _also_ thought that if in one world the hero won, that in another world the same story happened but the hero lost. So, they thought there were endless possibilities of what a world could be like. So, in that world, I read about this world. It was all a story in a book. But, in that version I didn't exist. There wasn't any Hikaru Hyuga."

"So then…" He trailed off, still a little uncertain of where the Hokage came into this.

"So then, besides the fact that I'm here and that changes things. I know what's going to happen!"

His expression cleared. "We need to tell your father."

"Wait! Except, there are some other things besides me being here that are different too, because I'm here. And, I don't know how many other things are different. There could be millions of differences. What I know could be useless. Also," I tacked on as an afterthought "that's why I started crying when I met Inoichi Yamanaka. Because he was another "character" in the story. I guess before then it almost wasn't real, but then I met him and everything was too…big."

"What else is different?"

"Hinata wasn't a twin, so Mom lived instead of dying when we were born. Hinata had a little sister instead. I don't remember what her name was." I shivered. "So, I…don't want to tell Dad. I'm scared."

Kō patted my head and I found the gesture comforting. "It's okay. I'll tell him." He stood up. I stood up and hugged his leg. "Thank you." I said, letting go.

Kō paused at the door. "So, how old are you?"

I grinned. "Older than twenty but younger than thirty, and don't ask a girl her age." He smiled back and left. I sat down with a huge sigh of relief and started to tremble with pent-up nervousness. It was all over now, I did it!

000

The next week found Hiashi Hyuga, Inoichi Yamanaka, and Hiruzen Sarutobi sitting in the Hokage's office in a heated discussion. Hiashi had explained the situation, showing the other two men the languages his daughter had written out for him and what she had told him, first through Kō and then in her own words.

"Misplaced foresight could be even more dangerous than no foresight at all." Inoichi said, for the second time. "We can't take her word for it when she isn't sure herself. She said things have changed already."

Hiashi narrowed his eyes at the slight to his daughter. "Even so, the information she has could be invaluable. She hasn't told me much, but if I ask her to I'm certain she could tell us more."

"Inoichi is right." Sarutobi took his pipe out of his mouth, "but perhaps she could be some help. From what you've told us, she has a good understanding already of the clans in the village, how shinobi work, and even how missions are ranked. Generally things are the same. So, perhaps we can test one event. Have her tell you the soonest thing she knows will happen. If it happens as she says it will, then that increases the chances of her being right on other things. If not, then the chance decreases." He let the others consider that a moment before continuing,

"However, even if she is right, we mustn't rely on her like a crutch. If we do, then that could prove fatal if she's ever wrong. Even if she is perfectly right, the more time goes on and the more changes there are, the less valuable her information will become. In the end," he fixed Hiashi with a hard stare, "Hiashi, you are raising a young woman who has been torn from her own world and may be constantly comparing this reality with a story in her head. I'd like Inoichi to meet with her, to determine her loyalty to this village and for counseling purposes. She may've told you all this because you are family, but in this story of hers we might not be the heroes. It won't be in the village's interest for her to become a kunoichi unless that gets smoothed out—" he met Hiashi's scowl calmly "—if that's the case." He said, finishing mildly.

Hiashi nodded, losing his scowl. "Hai. Hokage-sama." He said, if a little stiffly. Hiruzen looked at Inoichi, who also nodded and responded affirmatively. "Well then, you two should arrange some time to meet. Now, I have other business to attend to."

AN: So, I thought they were going to turn three in this chapter and then it ran away with me…twice. I'm kinda flying blind here. This is the second version of this chapter I wrote. In the first one Hikaru didn't tell Ko, she just told Hiashi and with the way things worked out nobody believed her. That didn't feel quite right to me, so then I wrote this. Who knows what will happen next! I'm not sure I do. The twins _will_ turn three next chapter though, and I've made a decision as far as the seal goes.

Also, I changed the rating to T because it will eventually get there anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **I've been rereading and rewriting this so many times I don't know if it's good or not anymore. .

I was both nervous and gratified to learn that I'd be meeting Inoichi Yamanaka two weeks before Hinata and I were to turn three. Hiashi took me himself. We didn't speak on the way there, but it wasn't as though we could speak very openly in public anyway. Hiashi (it was sometimes harder to call him Dad in my head now that he knew) hadn't asked me hardly anything about who I used to be…mostly focusing on what I knew of this world. He knew I'd been a civilian, was educated, and spoke a different language, but that was basically it. I couldn't tell if he was simply disinterested or if there was something else going on. I think he understood a bit better now why I still cried some nights.

I was surprised when we went to a large house. I thought we were going to the flower shop, but then I mentally smacked myself on the forehead. _Of course he wouldn't talk to me about sensitive stuff there._ Actually, come to think of it, why were we here? Hiashi believed me enough to ask me about what I already knew of the village and the next thing I knew was going to happen in the future and I'd told him. Did he want to double-check? Weren't the Hyuga also good at reading people? Or was that just Neji? Maybe this was just to make it go faster. Inoichi could just mind-walk me and have done with it.

Inoichi greeted us at the door and ushered us in. The two adults (or, the ones in adult-sized bodies) in the room had a brief discussion as to whether or not Hiashi would sit in the room with me as Inoichi talked with me. Hiashi wanted to stay. Inoichi said that might not be a good idea, he needed me to be able to answer impartially without my father being there. I didn't see what the issue was if Inoichi was just going to look through my head…unless that _wasn't _what we were here for.

I was starting to feel a lot less gratification and a lot more nervousness. _Especially_ when Hiashi agreed to sit outside the room we'd be talking in. Hiashi seemed a bit uncomfortable around me these days, but he still represented strength and security and safety. When I thought of him in those terms it was easy to think of him as Dad. It was involuntary and instinctual. Meanwhile, here I was being led into a room by a man who, as much as my brain tried to remind me that he was a good guy, was a stranger, could kill me in an instant, and was a lot bigger than me. He was also a super-psychologist who could probably tell things about me just because of the way I _breathed_. (Ok, so maybe not….maybe.) I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable around someone who could see straight through me.

I was comforted a little by the fact that the room hadn't been what I was expecting—some austere place with a chair for him and a recliner-thingy for me. Instead it looked like a normal living room; there was a couch and a couple other chairs, a low table with an abandoned game of Go on it near a wall, and I even spotted a toy peeking out from underneath the couch—Ino's?

Inoichi was perhaps watching to see where I was looking, because as soon as I saw the toy he walked over and picked it up, sighing. "I told her not to come in here." He murmured, before tucking it away in a pocket. Then he turned to me,

"Have a seat." I climbed up onto the couch, blushing a little and wishing I was older already. Inoichi pulled up a chair and sat across from me. "Now, you don't need to worry about what you say in here. The walls are sound-proofed." I glanced at the door. That meant Hiashi couldn't hear me if I screamed. _Shut up. You won't be screaming._ I looked at Inoichi and took a deep breath.

"Yes?" I asked, "Are you going to go into my mind?"

"No. I won't. I'm going to be asking you questions." He said.

"Why not? Wouldn't it be faster?" I asked, surprised.

"It…wouldn't work like that. I can only see what people have experienced with their brains. For most people that only includes the brain currently inside their head. You didn't keep the brain you had in your last life, so I wouldn't be able to see any of that." He said.

"Oh." I was disappointed. I guess coming to him first wouldn't have made any difference than going to someone else after all.

"Now then, first, is there anything you want to talk about?" He asked.

I raised my eyebrows, "Is that why I'm here?"

"Yes. You are in an interesting position, to say the least, due to both your foreknowledge and your actual and apparent age. The Yamanaka clan helps shinobi and citizens in order to help them be mentally and emotionally functional. Your father is concerned about you. I'm here to listen and help you adjust to your situation in any way I can."

I considered that for a minute, growing considerably less nervous as I thought. I would rather that Dad would just talk to me himself, instead of handing me off to Inoichi. It would show that he took a personal interest in my life. On the other hand, perhaps his thinking was that Inoichi was more qualified to converse with me about it all? But, that didn't explain why he asked me so little about my previous life. Inoichi said that Hiashi was concerned about me, in what way—exactly?

"Is…Father uncomfortable talking to me himself? I understand that it is a good idea for me to talk with you…but he didn't even tell me why we were coming here." I asked.

Inoichi frowned a little. "I haven't spoken to him about that."

"Well, maybe. I mean, it must be weird for him. I just want to talk to him, share memories, but we aren't close enough. I feel like we _should_ be, because he's my dad; but we haven't really 'known' each other that long. I keep wanting to talk to him like I'd talk to my other Dad, only to realize that this isn't someone I've known for years and years and we aren't comfortable around each other. I can't even imagine what he must be thinking, now that he knows I'm really a lot older than I am." I trailed off.

"What memories do you want to share?" He asked. Images and thoughts flooded my mind. There was so much I wanted to talk about and convey—funny moments, happy ones, painful ones…I shuddered. Yeah, _that_ one I should probably talk about at some point. Right now, I put it from my mind, pulling up a happy memory. Then I blinked and cleared my head.

"Positive ones, mostly. I just want to talk with him naturally, you know. About anything in my past life he's interested in or fears or worries or the things I find funny." I said.

"What are you worried about now?" He asked.

I told him. He asked more questions and I answered those too. Unsurprisingly, he was a very good listener. At one point I did ask him if he could keep our conversation mostly private—I wasn't certain about doctor-patient confidentiality here and thought it was likely he'd be talking to my Dad about me. I did want Dad to know stuff, but I wanted him to ask _me _about it instead of asking Inoichi about it. He assured me he would and all I could do was take his word for it. After an hour Inoichi said that was enough for today and we'd meet again later. We left the room and I was unsurprised when he asked Dad to go in.

"I'll see where Ino's got to and leave Hikaru with her. We need to talk a moment." Inoichi said. Dad nodded and went into the room. I perked up. I was going to meet Ino!

Ino was in the kitchen with Mrs. Yamanaka. She was sitting on the table, ignoring the pieces of paper scattered off to one side and coloring the wood itself. Mrs. Yamanaka, who was making lunch, turned as we entered the room and noticed what Ino was doing.

"Ino! What have I told you?" Ino froze.

"Be good and color?" She tried innocently.

"Color the _paper_." Her mom corrected; her lips twitched with a suppressed smile.

Inoichi picked me up and deposited me beside his daughter, ignoring my squeak of surprise. "Here, Ino-chan. This is Hikaru. Why don't you show her how well you can draw?"

"Ok!" Ino beamed at her dad. Inside I went _awwwww_. Outside I went "Can I draw too?" Inoichi smiled a little at that. I smiled back.

"Of course. Ino, be nice and share."

"Ok!"

000

Inoichi shut the door to the sound-proof room behind him and quirked an eyebrow. Hiashi was standing waiting for him.

"You may sit down." He said, a little amused.

"Well?" Hiashi asked, after they both sat.

"She's worried about being a ninja, of course. She doesn't know how she'll handle killing someone." Inoichi said. There was a lot he didn't tell him, such as about the cultural and religious pressure contributing to that worry which Hikaru felt from her last life. He was going to keep their conversation as confidential as possible while still telling the Hyuga clan head what he needed to know about his daughter.

Hiashi nodded; that was only to be expected. It was normal for almost anyone. "And?"

Inoichi leaned forward, bracing his arms on his legs and steepling his fingers slightly downward. "She didn't say this in so many words, but she wants you to be her father, essentially. From our conversation, though, she also knows that isn't really possible. She's aware of the complications and knows that there's a difference between what she wants _from _your relationship and what she can do _for_ your relationship. She knows she can't force it to be something it isn't. She did say she wants to talk to you naturally."

Hiashi let out a tired sigh and Inoichi could hear the grief in it. _She's lonely._ He thought. _But so are you. Have you talked to anyone about your wife, Hiashi?_ Will _you about your daughter?_ He kept silent as he waited for a reply.

"What did she say about the village?" Hiashi asked. Inoichi didn't change his breathing, but mentally he let out a sigh of his own. _Not today, then._

"When she talked about being a shinobi she referred to Konoha as 'the best ninja village there is.' She was being perfectly sincere. I don't think there's anything to worry about in that regard." He answered.

Hiashi nodded again. "All right. Thank you, Inoichi." He stood up.

"I want to talk with her again. She hasn't told you how she died, am I right?" Inoichi asked.

A brief expression of annoyance crossed Hiashi's face. "I haven't asked her, no."

"Seeing as she was in her early twenties, it's doubtful it was of natural causes. That's something else we need to talk about to make sure it won't cause her to freeze up and get her killed a second time." He said.

"I'll bring her again when I find the time. I'll let you know when that is." Hiashi said.

Inoichi nodded. "Thank you." He stood up. "Would you care to stay for lunch?"

000

On our third birthday Hinata and I both wore beautiful kimonos. Mami Hyuga, a member of the branch family who dressed us, had to keep telling me to leave my kimono alone because I couldn't stop touching the silky fabric. I had never worn anything so beautiful in either of my lives before.

We went out into the courtyard where the whole family was. It was a bit strange seeing everyone together in a big group. Hinata and my main interactions with people were usually limited to our Father, Hizashi-ji-san, Kō, and Mami. We saw others in the halls or around the compound, but didn't interact with them much. I was very interested in how many little kids and teenagers were standing by their parents. Seeing everyone together for the first time made me realize how many relatives I had—a lot.

Hinata turned shy in the face of so many people staring and hung onto Dad's kimono. I stood on his other side. Hizashi-ji-san stood before us with Neji, looking tense. I didn't know if I could solve the strained relationship between the two brothers, but I figured saving Hizashi-ji-san's life would be step one. Neji looked adorable as he waved at Hinata, causing her to duck even further behind Hiashi. Then he turned and waved at me; I smiled and waved back. He turned and whispered something to his father, who responded in a low terse voice.

"I'll be taking Neji under my care, Hizashi," Dad said. It was essentially a more polite way of saying "I'll be giving Neji a curse mark today." I frowned, just a little. I didn't see why someone hadn't just changed the seal a long time ago—maybe keeping the eye-sealing part but losing the torture part. Either there were clan politics going on that I wasn't privy to, or possibly changing the seal was impossible. I had tried asking Dad what was going to happen to _me_ today, but he'd been evasive.

"Hai." My uncle replied, keeping his face carefully neutral.

Then Dad brought Hinata in front of him. He spoke, "On this day my firstborn daughter Hinata turns three years old. May she serve the Hyuga clan well as heir and, one day, as leader. May she become a strong kunoichi of the clan." He ended.

Abruptly everyone bowed towards the three of us. I didn't know whether or not I should be bowing too, but I quickly bobbed up and down in Hinata's direction. _I _knew she was going to become an _awesome_ kunoichi, and I was fully willing to support Dad's words.

_I give my allegiance_. For what it was worth.

And that was that. We had a nice big lunch with everyone afterwards and everyone went back to their respective business. Mami took us back to our room and dressed us in the black pants and shirts we usually wore and then sat us down to read us a book. It would've been boring but for the fact that I was still learning Japanese and trying to match the words to the symbols on the page was both hard and fascinating. We'd been read this book before, so I was starting to get familiar with some of the characters.

After Mami tucked us into bed for our afternoon nap I waited for Hinata to fall asleep and wiggled out again. I took the book from the shelf, trying to remember the exact wording she had used in telling the story. I traced the words with my fingers, trying to guess the stroke order. It was really frustrating that I'd learned Korean in my last life instead of Japanese; sometimes when people asked me questions here I wanted to answer in Korean only to have to catch myself. It wasn't that the languages were similar; it was just habit. The Korean alphabet had been easier to learn than the Japanese one; that was for sure.

You'd think having already learned stuff in my last life would be an advantage—but I was having to learn it all over again. I still remembered when Mami had started teaching us to count. She had taken a line of cups and pointed to each of them successively, saying a different word each time. It actually took me until the second time she did it to figure out what she was doing. My first thought had been "Pssh. Counting is easy. I can already do that." Only to remember half a second later "But I can't _in Japanese_." _That _realization had been both humbling and frustrating. It meant I'd actually have to pay attention in school the second time around, in order to just learn the language. (Plus, who am I kidding, beyond addition, subtraction, division and multiplication my math skills could use a refresher.) I was still tracing words when Dad appeared in the doorway of Hinata and my room.

"Yes?" I whispered.

"Come with me." He said softly.

My heart sank a little. I was going to receive the Cursed Seal. I didn't want to; I didn't want a line of separation so clearly drawn between me and my sister this early. I followed Hiashi and felt like I was going to my death.

But instead of going to some room with Neji awaiting, we went to Dad's office. He sat me in a chair and pulled up his own.

"Hikaru, we've already come up against a problem in your information." He began bluntly, "We finalized no treaty today and, as far as I know, there are no signs we will be changing our relations with any of the villages hostile to us right now."

Hearing that was both a worry and a relief. There was a possibility this universe was so different Hinata would never be kidnapped. On the other hand, this meant that literally _anything_ was possible in the future—and I had no way to prepare for it. _Welcome to normalcy._ I thought sarcastically.

I sighed. "Well, then I guess I won't be of any use in telling you the future. I'm sorry."

Dad studied me with a troubled expression. I shifted uncomfortably. I wanted to fill up the silence by saying something more, but I waited for him to speak.

"You should put your past behind you." He said finally, "It won't be useful here."

I gaped at him, too stunned to reply immediately. _It won't be useful here. _That made me _angry_. _Won't be _useful _here? Do you know what I've _lost? _It's not about usefulness…that was my _life! _How…how dare you!?_

"Do you know what you're asking?" I asked, trying to moderate my voice. "I can't just _forget!_"

"I'm not asking you to forget." He said sharply, picking up on my mood. "I'm telling you to move on."

I stayed silent, simmering with contained rage. Clearly he didn't get it. It wasn't like I could just let go of my former life. _I am the sum of all my yesterdays. I can't just get rid of such a big part of my identity._

A scowl formed on Hiashi's face and suddenly the air in the room changed as my anger was replaced by fear. My heart beat faster. _Is this Killing Intent?_ It wasn't very intense; but it was palpable.

"That wasn't a request." Hiashi said shortly. "I'm ordering you to move on. You are my…daughter and a member of the Hyuga clan. You have a duty to it and you will fulfill that duty. Your former life should have no bearing on this one. You will not tell anyone else of your circumstance, not even Hinata. "

I pursed my lips before continuing, trying to react reasonably. It was an effort to speak through the fear, but I felt this _needed_ to be said. "Listen. If you're telling me not to live in the past, I understand that. I heard a saying once, 'the past should be learned from, not lived in,' _but _I can't just _erase_ it. I can't factor it out of my personality or reactions or preferences and to even _try_ would be mentally unhealthy. If I'm—"

"_Try_." Hiashi spat out. "self-sacrifice is part of being a ninja and a member of this clan. I won't listen to any excuses." I could sense his anger level rising.

I closed my eyes a brief moment and reopened them, seeing that I wasn't going to get anywhere. I remembered that I was speaking to _Hiashi Hyuga_, the head of the Hyuga clan. And he was only my 'father' in the biological meaning of the word.

"I understand. I'm sorry, Hiashi-sama."

Later that night I realized I had completely forgotten to ask him about the Cursed Seal, not that I could've very well done so in the middle of _that_ conversation. Then I realized it hardly mattered; I was trapped anyway.

000

A few days later I sidled up to Hizashi-ji-san. Despite the fact that I was trapped with or without the Cursed Seal, I was still somewhat curious as to why I hadn't received one. I wasn't about to ask Hiashi, but I figured maybe Hizashi would give me answers.

"Ji-san?" I asked. When I found him, he was sitting on the porch watching Neji train in the courtyard. I hoped he wouldn't just tell me to go away. I didn't know if he _knew_ about me, but I doubted it.

He turned his head, sparing me a glance. "Ah. Hikaru-chan. What is it?"

I went over and sat down beside him. "I have a question."

"Yes?"

"You and tou-san are twins, right? I asked the obvious question.

"Yes." He quirked a smile.

"And you were the younger twin, right?"

"Yes." He was still smiling, perhaps a little stiffly, not quite guessing where this was going yet.

"And I'm the younger twin and Hinata's the heir. So how come I don't have…" I reached up and touched my forehead "like you and Neji-ni-san. Because you need to even though Tou-san is your twin."

Hizashi processed this before answering. "The reason is that you won't become part of the branch house until you and Hinata-chan become genin."

I raised my eyebrows a little. "Really? Why?"

"It's…just in case. It doesn't matter. It's tradition." He said. I read between the lines. _Just in case Hinata dies or becomes unfit to lead before then. But that makes no sense! As genin her life will only get more dangerous, not less. But, it's 'tradition.'_ I ended that last thought sourly.

"Oh. I don't want to wear my hitai-ite on my forehead though." I said, trying to sound childish and funny.

Hizashi, however, wasn't amused. "Yes, well. I think that will be the least of your worries."

-0-

It was a two days later that Hiashi sent his twin brother writhing in pain to the floor. Perhaps the kidnapping would never happen, but this was still not fixed. I didn't know how it could be.

-0-

The week after our third birthday we started learning how to mold chakra. Hinata had started without a hitch and had spent the morning doing the leaf exercise on her forehead. I, on the other hand, still hadn't managed to even feel my chakra and it was almost noon. Hiashi had long since left, throwing me an irritated glance as he did as though I was purposefully not getting the hang of it. I was glad he went. Now it was just Kō supervising.

"This isn't working." I snapped, frustrated. I thought this would be easy; that it would come instinctively and that I'd be able to feel it like I was using the force or something. Instead there was nothing.

"Try to reach inside yourself again." Kō said patiently. "People don't always get it the first day. You need to find a way that works for you."

I tried but there still wasn't anything. Perhaps I was going about this the wrong way. I had a sudden thought. Maybe I was trying _too _hard? This was supposed to come naturally, right?

I opened my eyes and sighed loudly. This whole thing was too troublesome for words. "Can you just look at me with Byakugan as I try? Maybe you'll be able to see something."

"Good idea." He said, bringing his hands up "Byakugan." The veins on the sides of his head bulged.

I closed my eyes again, clapped my hands together and lacing my fingers as though in prayer, and just let my mind wander a little. Trying to feel for something without giving it too much attention. At Kō's continued silence I focused more. I tried focusing on my hands, in my stomach, in my head, on my feet, but no matter where I searched I couldn't find it. I didn't have any idea what I was doing, dang it!

"Hikaru, you aren't manipulating your own chakra at all. Maybe we should call it a day."

"Wait a second." I said stubbornly. Then, suddenly, just like that, I latched onto _something _that was inside my stomach area. Excited, I began to try and move it around and felt it respond. Eyes still closed, I moved it up, splitting it in two and moving it through my arms to gather at my hands. I heard Kō suck in a breath and opened my eyes to see my hands surrounded by a pale green aura. I grinned. This was _awesome_. After a moment I let it fade away, letting my arms fall to my sides. Then I reached for it again, just to reassure myself it was still there. Yep. It was really subtle, but I could feel it.

"That was great Hikaru!" Ko said, smiling. "To be able to move chakra so well at such a young age is an incredible accomplishment!"

"I know what I was doing wrong." I said, "I was looking for this big feeling, like a well of power or a fireball inside me…but it isn't like that it all. It's like a muscle that I just needed to find and figure out how to use." I looked to the side and hesitated before continuing "I…used to know someone who could wiggle one ear but not the other. She said she could feel a muscle on one side of her jaw that she could use to wiggle the ear on that side, but for the other one it was like it wasn't there. I didn't realize I just needed to discover the right "muscle," the right sense, in order to manipulate it. Then I just found it."

Kō looked uncomfortable. "That's good, but, you know, Hiashi-sama told me about ordering you to put all that behind you. He told me to make certain you do."

I looked down at the ground, sighing and feeling my eyes prickle. I blinked to hold back tears. "Kō, I don't know if I _can_ put it behind me, not completely." _I don't want to _"But, if it makes things easier for you, I'll try not to talk about it anymore."

"That might be for the best." Kō said, his eyes a little sad.

I stood there thinking. I was being forced to hide who I was, but that didn't mean I couldn't make a difference. That didn't mean that I couldn't, somehow, show who I was. I twirled the chakra inside me a little more, gathering it at my right hand only this time. As the light grew I held my hand out to Kō, palm facing him with my fingers splayed.

"I can be a light in this house, no matter what." I said, managing a little smile. He didn't get the reference, and just smiled back in response.

**AN:** So, I'd like to clear something up. In the first chapter Hikaru says that she learned later that she and Hinata were born two months early. _At this point she still doesn't know that._ She only knows the part about her mom dying in childbirth. So there's one big problem with the whole "the treaty will happen on our birthday" thing she told them: according to Narutopedia (where I get a lot of my information) in the original timeline their birthday was in December and here it's in October. By telling them it happened on their birthday Hikaru gave them the completely wrong month.

Also, please note that Hikaru doesn't always have all of the facts or think things through completely. At the beginning of the chapter she thinks Hiashi doesn't want to talk to her just because he's uncomfortable. She doesn't even consider the fact that maybe he doesn't want to talk about her past _because it might be overheard_. I think it's natural that the Yamanakas would have a sound-proof private room (maybe made that way through special sealing). I don't think the Hyugas would necessarily have a room like that. Of course, he is _also_ uncomfortable with it all, and by the end of the chapter he is starting to let his feelings show through more.

The last line of dialogue is a reference to Matthew 5:15 "Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house." Hikaru is feeling, rightly, that she's being pressured into hiding who she is. Still, she has optimism that she can bring light to her situation and her surroundings anyway. Not to mention the fact that chakra is literally a source of light.

**Review Responses: **

**Tobee: **Thanks for the reviews! Her relationship with Hiashi is probably going to get worse before it gets better. I've 85% decided on the seal/heir situation. There's a choice I'm really leaning towards, but then new considerations pop up. So, we'll see!

**Becc**: Thank you so much! I really want this fic to be one where the characters react realistically to the situation they're in. I also want to portray my OC realistically without it getting too angsty (because really, if I got ripped into a different world I'd probably spend a lot of the beginning freaking out/crying/being depressed, but that wouldn't be fun to read. So, I'm trying to be realistic but balanced.)

**runeofluna**: Thank you for the review! I have already read those two fanfics and I loved them! The fact that she knows canon is going to present challenges of its own, especially because she hasn't been born into a world exactly like the original. (With the twins being born two months early, as one example.) I'm not planning on her information being a huge thing that solves everything, but it won't be completely useless either. But more on that later!

And thank you to **alicatsgotstyle**, **screamxqueen**, **Enbi**, and **NightlyRowenTree** for your reviews!


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Naruto