Vampire Academy 1. And Then My World Crashed and Burned

**I decided that instead of making you guys look for the previous "Shadow Kissed" chapters, i'd post them up here. For those who are waiting on the ACTUAL next chapter, i have it up and ready, but i'm just cleaning it (grammer errors and so on) so, the next FIVE chapters are the REAL beginning of this story. Each one was written by the previous owner and creator **_vox ad umbram sum. _**Chapter 6-onwards are written by me, so yeah.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SHADOW KISSED NOR THIS STORY PLOT NOR THE NEXT FIVE CHAPTERS. THEY BELONG TO THEIR OWNERS, WHICH IS NOT ME. **_  
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**I always forget to write disclaimers._  
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**_This story starts with the rescue attempt in Shadow Kissed_**

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><p><strong>Shadow Kissed Chapter 1<strong>_  
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><p><em>We ran to the exit, emerging into the air. My group<em>

_clustered by the opening, anxious to see what had happened._

_The sun, I was dismayed to see, was nearly gone. The nausea_

_hadn't left me, which meant Strigoi were still alive._

_Moments later, my mother's party came tearing down the_

_hall. By the numbers, one more had gone down. But they were_

_so close. Everyone around me tensed up. So close. So, so close._

_But not close enough. Three Strigoi lay in wait in one of_

_the alcoves. We'd passed them, but they'd let us go by. It all_

_happened so fast; no one could have reacted in time. One of the_

_Strigoi grabbed Celeste, his mouth and fangs going for her_

_cheek. I heard a strangled scream and saw blood everywhere._

_One of the Strigoi went for Ms. Carmack, but my mother jerked_

_her away and shoved her forward toward us._

_The third Strigoi grabbed Dimitri. In all the time I'd known_

_him, I'd never seen Dimitri falter. He was always faster, always_

_stronger than everyone else. Not this time. This Strigoi had_

_caught him by surprise, and that slight edge was all it had taken._

_I stared. It was the blond Strigoi. The one who had spoken_

_to me in the battle._

I ran towards Dimitri pulling him to me, turning and pushing him towards the exit.

"Run Dimitri" I told him. "Protect Lissa."

Then the Strigoi pouced on me, the blonde one sinking his fangs into my neck.

"I love you" was all I managed to get out before the endorphins carried me away.

I felt cold hands lift my body and carry me but I didn't care everything was good, I felt good and there was nothing wrong in the world.

The world came in to focus after what seemed like an eternity later. I had been tied to a chair, my stake was gone, I was sore all over, and the room was shrouded in shadows hiding most of the room.

Things were not looking good for me. They didn't get better.

The blonde Strigoi walked into my field of vision.

"So you're the famous Rosemarie Hathaway, the novice that has everyone talking," he sneered. "Well soon you won't be killing Strigoi with other Guardians. No, instead you'll be killing Guardians with other Strigoi."

The Strigoi laughed and I felt sick to my stomach, they were planning on turning me into a Strigoi.

The Strigoi continued "Well, Rosemarie my name is Nathan and you are going to help us kill the last of the Dragomirs."

I never hated anyone more in my life.

"I would rather die than help you kill Lissa!"

"Well it's a good thing that isn't one of the options."

With that comment Nathan leaned forward and bit me. I screamed as my blood left my body and I fell silent as the world went black.

I could feel the Strigoi toxic blood flow through my veins changing everything it touched I felt the Shadows that surrounded my soul join in forcing the changes to grow in intensity. My whole body felt as if it was consumed in flames. I felt the dark flames try to push my soul out but something held it in. I felt the dark flames try to sever the bond between me and lissa but the bond would not break.

Eventually the pain subsided until I could no longer feel it. I felt normal again, nothing hurt.

I was struck by just how much more noise I heard, I could hear heartbeats and instantly knew where each one came from. I could hear termites eating away at the floor boards I could even hear the wind rushing over the wings of an owl as it flew over the building I was in.

Smells came through sharper and almost overwhelmed me. I could smell the lingering odor of Nathan's breath hanging in the air. I could smell the mouse that hid in the floors. I could smell the exhaust from cars that had long since passed by.

I opened my eyes. The once shadowy room now appeared to be filled with light. The whole world had been brought into focus and now every minute detail that I would have missed as a dhampir was now obvious to me

As a wave of sadness crashed into me I closed my eyes and dove into Lissa's mind without thought working purely off of reflex. Then the shock of what I had done pulled me back into my head. The bond was still there. Looking back through Lissa's I watched in a morbid fascination as Kirova read off a list of names lost to the Strigoi attack that Lissa's memories told me happened a week ago. Then Kirova announced,

"Rosemarie Hathaway"

She continued on after a brief pause just as she had every name before. Lissa started crying and she looked around at the crowd during the pause. It was amazing to see at amount of people hurting at my loss. My mother was trying so hard to keep her composure but was failing as tears rolled down her cheeks. Eddie was in shock, first Mason, now me. And – Oh God – Dimitri, he was sitting right next to Lissa holding his Guardian mask over his face but his eyes revealed the deep sorrow he was in.

Unable to watch further I pulled out of Lissa's head. Again noticing the increase in senses as I returned to my body, which was tied to a chair. I decided then to see just how strong I had become. With a flex of my muscles the ropes tore away and the chair broke apart. I straightened up and started for a metal door. The door swung open before I reached it, and in walked Nathan. I felt a surge of hatred towards him. He made me into this monster and I was going to kill him for it.

With a grin he said "Welcome to your life as a Strigoi Rosemarie you will enjoy it."

"No, I won't but I would enjoy this." I reached out, moving faster than I ever have, and grabbed his head and twisted it. With a sickening crack his neck broke. Then I swiftly twisted his head the other way and pulled up tearing his head from his shoulders and his body fell to the ground and I dropped his head. Blood started to pool and I realized just how thirsty I was. I bent down and grabbed the body sinking my new fangs into it. I proceeded to suck the body dry.

Sated I walked away, through the empty building until I walked outside into the night air. Looked around and saw that I was in one of the suburbs of Missula. I started to walk I don't know where to but I just needed to get moving to help clear my thoughts. I examined myself. I am a Strigoi. I thirst for blood. But I feel the same as I did. I still have the bond with Lissa. I still have a soul.

I made a decision for my new life I would not harm innocents I would feed from Strigoi and I would still protect Lissa the best I could.

I may not be a dhampir but I will still be a Guardian.


	2. Aftermath

I had been a Strigoi for almost a month now. That's thirty days of being a monster. Four weeks spent lusting for the blood of everyone around me. The only thing keeping me going was the fact that by being a Strigoi and using the power it gave me to hunt other Strigoi, I was protecting Lissa and Dimitri.

Dimitri, I missed him with all my heart and I knew that he was probably blaming himself for my death, for his inability to protect me. It was all I could do to not run as fast as my Strigoi legs could carry me and return to him. I knew that I would be a monster to him no matter how much I had remained the same, hell, I was a monster to me too. Just yesterday I had caught myself fantasizing about drinking from a girl who had walked by me on a busy street.

The hunt for Strigoi I had placed myself on had been a bust. I had been stalking through clubs and bars trying to spot a Strigoi looking for a victim. I found nothing, not one Strigoi in one of the most attacked areas in the world. The proximity to an academy meant that Moroi traveled through Missula more frequently than almost anywhere else.

It was frustrating I had been taught to act as if Strigoi were around every corner just waiting for a Moroi to come close. Yeah right. That turned out to be just a load of bullshit. I had goned a month in a "high risk area" without a sighting, and I was looking for them, hunting for them, and not one could be found.

Just my freaking luck.

I was at a club. Again. It pissed me off that I hadn't seen anything other than drunk college kids for a month. In this club the beat was far too loud for my newly enhanced hearing and the flashing lights just gave me a headache.

After the eighteenth shot that's alcohol content refused to get me the slightest bit drunk, I decided to call it quits. And besides the blood rushing through the crowd of people was rapidly becoming irresistible. So I made a rapid retreat to the exit.

Outside was even worse. A fight had broken out and a bloody nose forced me to sprint down an alleyway a block down from the club. To avoid any temptation to run back and drain the first warm bodied person I could find I had pinched my nose tightly and shut my eyes.

Then I ran into something. A cold mass that gave slightly when I ran into it. I opened my eyes, there were four Strigoi surrounding a human girl. The cold mass I had hit was the back of a Strigoi who had obviously been human, a very fat human.

They turned towards me thinking I was dessert. But when they realized I was Strigoi too they smiled a welcoming but still cold and evil smile. One of them a female with short brown hair spoke.

"Looky here. It seems we aren't the only vampires in the area." _Vampires?_ "Wanna little taste?"

It was obvious that they were fairly new Strigoi and that they were humans once but vampires did they seriously not know anything about what they were? Anyway my arrival caused the girl who had been passed out on the sidewalk to be temporarily forgotten.

A stocky male held out his hand palm up in a dramatic gesture that reminded me of Darth Vader. "yes, sister of the night join our coven. Help us establish control over the city." Well apparently not. These idiots probably believed in the whole death by holy water scam too. This was going to be kinda fun.

I looked over the pitiful crew before me, a fat male, a small female, a stick thin male and a short and stocky male all gathered about ten feet in front of me, easy.

I crouched, bending my knees only slightly. Then with a speed that seemed far too fast for a new Strigoi like myself, I lunged at the "coven." I hit the fat male first grabbing his head and twisting it as I pulled up. It tore off with a sickening tearing noise. Dropping the head I made a second leap at the thin male kicking him chest with both feet. He flew back and cracked his head against the wall hard enough to leave him out of the fight for a while. I used the force of the kick to change direction. I leapt back and stood straight up with my hands behind my back. The stocky male jumped at me with his arms out stretched. It looked as if he moved in slow motion even though his speed was faster than anything a dhampir could do. I backhanded him. He flew into the wall and bounced off crashing next to the headless corpse.

The female, however, was smarter than the others. She pulled a knife from the waistband of her pants, a large serrated combat knife, and took a martial arts stance that was clearly from a movie. I began to laugh. I had years of training and conditioning in a multitude of martial arts. She watched kung fu movies. I began to walk towards her as I got close she lashed out faster than I expected. Her knife sliced across my cheek cutting a shallow line to appear on my skin, it didn't bleed. I took a step back and touched the cut with my index and middle fingers. The skin moved together and fused back into one smooth piece. Strigoi heal fast but not that fast.

The female used this time to gain a major advantage. She reached down and pulled the human girl, still unconscious, up by her hair and held the knife to her throat.

"Back off or the bitch gets it!" she snarled at me.

Now I was desperate, I had to save that girl. She didn't deserve to die doped up on Strigoi saliva and week from blood loss. No one did.

The desperation I felt triggered the darkness that lurked in the corners of my mind. I could feel them become active trying to make me act like a Strigoi. These shadows were far stronger than those I received from Lissa before, they were almost physical. I could actually feel their presence in my bones and blood.

To regain control of my mind I pushed the shadows out with a mental shove and I felt the shadows being forced out of my head into my torso and out through my hands.

The female Strigoi gasped and dropped the knife and the girl. She stared at me in horror, her eyes wide and her mouth dropped. I looked down at myself to see what had happened to make her so scared.

My hands were on fire. MY HANDS WERE ON FIRE! They were covered in black flames that seemed to grow and shrink at random. I focused and imagined them growing larger. They did the flames responded to me. Awesome. Freaky scary and completely messed up but it is badass.

I pointed at the female and imagined her bursting into fire. The fire from my hands flew towards her and smacked her in the chest. The flames spread across her chest and over her entire body. Within seconds she was nothing but ashes.

I moved on to her rest of the Strigoi, draining them of any blood they had before lighting them on fire. I needed to get as much blood as I could the more I got the less the people around me were in danger. I moved back to the girl. She was hurt but not badly, she would live but medical help would help.

I picked her up and ran her to a hospital. After compelling the doctor to fix her up with no questions asked and making sure that this would not be reported to any authorities I left. I needed to move on and get away from the area.

Mabye being a shadow kissed Strigoi wasn't a bad as I expected.


	3. Chapter 3

The fight in the alley gave me a pretty clear message. I was an unusual Strigoi. Somehow I am stronger and faster than a Strigoi of my age would be, I have retained my soul and myself, and impossibly I seem to have magic powers. The powers seemed to be linked to the darkness I get through the bond with Lissa and appear to be the inverse of her healing and mostly mental abilities. These shadows are mainly physical changing the body not enhancing the mind like Spirit.

After running to the field outside of the city, I started to practice with the shadows. I started by trying to do something I never wanted to do before. I searched my mind for any trace of the shadows. Any little indication that the darkness is in my mind. I found nothing. Not a trace of darkness. That was both a disappointment and a relief. I was disappointed that I couldn't try to use the shadows. I was relieved that I could get rid of them, that I will never have to be controlled by them again.

It took me a while to come up with a course of action now that I had no darkness to work with. I felt stupid when I thought to go into Lissa's head to find some darkness there. I got all my darkness from her anyway. Looking through the bond I was given a quick demonstration of the mood of the gang I had left behind.

_I(Lissa) am a mess without Rose. Who is going to be my best-friend, my sister? I need someone to be there with me who could understand everything about me. Christian is helping me along but he is no Rose. It is a struggle to keep going on with my life especially when there was nothing to keep me from falling into my thoughts of Rose like now. I am studying in my room alone and the math textbook did nothing to help occupy my mind. The numbers on the page seem to blur on the page as my eyes fill with tears. A quick tap on the door is followed by Christian opening the door with the key I had given him._

_"Hey Lissa, how are you holding up?"_

_"I'm managing."_

_"Don't lie to me Lissa. Rose was like a sister to you. It's alright for you show how much you miss her."_

_"It's just so hard sometimes. I still wake up expecting her to be there. It's like she's still there, like there is some tiny fragment of my mind that is convinced that she is still out there."_

_" You know as well as I do she's gone. The Guardians sweeping the caves found enough blood on the ground that her survival is not possible. Not as a dhampir."_

_"I know."_

_"Come on. Let's get some food into you."_

_Christian leads me out of the room through the gray corridors to the feeders. Even the blood that once tasted so sweet now is bland. Grabbing yogurt from the lunch line and paying for it quickly I sit down at the table that Rose and I had always sat at. It was a mistake. A wave of misery sweeps over me as I remember Rose sitting next to me telling jokes and laughing. Christian sits next to me we don't talk there is nothing to say._

_The relative silence is broken when Adrian sits down. He is wasted. He has drunk himself past his usual state of inebriation and is now doing his best not to fall over in his seat._

_"Hey," he slurs out. I would have laughed at his condition before but now it's just sad. He lights up a cigarette and takes a long draw. The smoke isn't that of tobacco._

_"Adrian, Rose never liked your constant drug abuse but this is too far. Rose would have kicked your ass for this."_

_"Rose isn't here anymore."_

_A burst of immense anger and hatred for the slime in front of me tears through me. I want to tear his throat out._

_It is gone my anger has been reduced to almost nothing. I'm not calm I'm still angry but it is nowhere near what it was._

_"That shouldn't matter. And if it does her words should have more meaning. Even drunk you should know that."_

_Christian sighs and Adrian just looks down at the table._

_"I know. But it's not easy to imagine a world where Rose doesn't exist. She was a very special person, you know, I even think I was falling for her."_

The conversation didn't hold much interest for me after that. Lissa moved onto the minor gossip that never really interested me. Even though I pretended for Lissa's happiness I couldn't really get into what Camille Conta wore.

I couldn't believe what I had heard. Adrian was falling in love with me. that wasn't good. He had to know that I couldn't return his feelings. I was in love with Dimitri.

Adrian's love life aside I had gotten what I had gone for, the darkness that had sprung up with Lissa's anger. That and a reason to risk all of my loved ones lives and return to them.

The moment I returned to my head I learned something about my new powers. I was standing in an open field as the rising sun sent what I had thought to be fatal rays of light towards me. I didn't feel anything wrong I wasn't burning or feeling tired at all. I was protected from the sun.

The fact that I hadn't lost the sun when I lost everything else was a great comfort to me. For the first time in a while things were looking up for me.

I was starting to suspect after I get more control I might be able to be around people again.

So to help find that control I began to push the darkness around my body, inside and out. Experimenting with the new powers I had, I pushed my imagination to find new things that I could try to accomplish. Maybe this could work.


	4. Chapter 4

My mastery of the darkness wasn't so impressive as I had previously hoped. I wasn't able to fly or heal or shoot lasers from my eyes. It seemed that Lissa's mental and spiritual power left a opposite physical power behind. Instead of the refined healings or dreamwalking I got primal strengths and speed. For the most part I was given a mastery of my own body, only occasionally paired with bursts of a barely controlled energy. These bursts drained me of the shadows that I used to fuel my body.

Now even my perspective on the darkness had changed. It was similar to spirit or any kind of magic in the fact that it could be used for good and bad purposes. But like me it had a really bad reputation.

I had been learning about my new powers for several weeks now, harvesting the darkness produced by Lissa. I found limits to my powers , many, many limits. I didn't suddenly become super powerful. Outside of the draining blasts of extreme power. The rest was minor. I mean being stronger and faster is useful but the ability to manipulate my physical features is only so helpful.

Besides the only way to manipulate the darkness is to allow it to enter my mind, something that could prove disastrous. The powers were not worth hurting innocents no matter how many Strigoi I could kill. But it is hard not to use those powers all the time, to appear normal to go back to the academy under a cloud of shadows that made me look like my old self and never let anyone know the truth. The possibilities called to me. I could be almost anybody I wanted to be. I could get whatever I want, money, power, whatever I want. I just needed to ignore it just like I try to ignore my blood lust. That was trouble.

Practicing in front of a mirror I direct the darkness underneath my skin and into my eyes. My vision suddenly sharpens beyond the incredible Strigoi vision. I now see the tiny pores in my skin the invisible imperfections in the mirror's glass. But that wasn't the important part. My eyes changed back to their normal brown. Or a very close shade of brown.

I directed an amount of the darkness into my mouth. Focusing on my fangs, the teeth began pulling upward into my gums. The action caused just a little pain. But when pain is unexpected an un prepared for it seems to hurt more and it takes up your whole focus. I wasn't prepared for it.

The concentration need to support my illusion was redirected for one millisecond. It was enough for the illusion to completely escape me. My eyes were red again. My fangs were back. I was Strigoi and I looked like it.

I let out the deep breath I was holding, not that I needed oxygen I could hold my breath for half an hour if I wanted and not really be affected.

I punched the mirror and it fractured under my fist the glue that kept it attached to the wall the only thing that held the mirror together. My hand couldn't even give me the satisfaction off bleeding a little.

Drawing in a deep breath again a began again.

And again.

And again.

Change the eyes.

Again.

Shrink the fangs.

Again

Add color to the skin

Again

Hold it

Again

Hold it

Again

Finally.

I had done it. I looked like my old self again. Or so close to it most people couldn't tell the difference.

At least now I didn't look like a monster.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been two months since I became Strigoi. Almost nine weeks without those I love. Lissa, my sister, my bondmate, was still in her depression but now it was all her. I had taken every scrap of darkness from her I could find. There wasn't any left in her, for the first time in over two years the bond was clear of shadows.

Dimitri, my soul mate, my lover, and my other half, was in a deep pit of sadness that only I seemed to know about . Lissa merely thought that his melochany guardian mask and his sad eyes were just the usual stone face for him. She could even get glimpses of his aura but never thought anything of the grays and blues that surrounded him.

Even Adrian and Christian were deeply affected. Arian was now even more of a drunk but now he never smoked, Lissa's words it seemed took a hold in his mind (no, not compulsion). Christian seemed to swing back and forth from losing his pyromania to taking it to an extreme. Some days unable to make a single flame and others igniting at any little reason.

I was missed, but going back to cheer them up was not an option. I could not risk their safety no matter how sad they were. I was protecting them by staying away. If I was around them I might lose my control and attack. With my extra powers I would do huge amounts of damage before being killed, if I was killed at all. I'm not really bragging when I say that I am one of the most deadly things you could ever meet. If my bloodlust was hard to deal with when I was around humans I could only imagine what it would be like if I was around Moroi, the preferred diet of Strigoi. Plus what's to say they won't kill me straight up.

But the gang seemed to come to me.

**Shadow kissed**

I was wandering around the mall in Missula. A mall that somehow ha every store that I could ever want to shop in. No matter how random it was.

I was trying out my disguise formed by the darkness, listening for the screams that would ensue if anyone caught a glimpse of my true undead appearance. I looked like I did as a dhampir. I was having a good time in spite of my fear that someone would see me for what I am.

I had just walked past the bridal shop and entered Victoria's Secret, I wasn't going to buy anything, when a wave of shock, fear and hope flooded through the bond. I dove into Lissa's head on the spot.

Only to see her looking at a girl how appeared to be frozen on the spot. This girl that dark brown hair, tan skin and was wearing the same outfit I was. A purple tank top and black skinny jeans.

Oh shit.

I pulled out of Lissa's head and gave a quick look around. She was standing there in the hallway holding a dress bag, her eyes were wide and shock filled her features.

I power walked away. Her guardians hadn't seen me. Guardians. I was forgetting – Dimitri!

Where was he? Was he here? Was he close by?

Those questions were answered when I turned to corner near the jewelry shop that specializes in perfect engagement rings.

I ran straight into his chest. Dimitri's hands automatically grabbed my arms to steady me. The smell of his aftershave washed over me. After so long without him this was almost overwhelming.

If there was a god, she hated me. And yes I said she, no guy is that vindictive.

Dimitri was looking at me, his face pale as, well, a Strigoi.

"_Roza_?"

-Thud -

Christian Ozera, who until then had been standing next to Dimitri, frozen and unnoticed, had just passed out and was lying on the ground thoroughly unconscious from either shock or his head hitting the hard marble floor.

Shit.

I was panicking at that point. I had no idea about what to do. If I stayed then I put them at risk. If I ran they would try and find me forcing me to live as a runaway again. I didn't like it the first time I doubted I would find it enjoyable the second time. If I fought they would hate me for what I became.

I ran. I couldn't stay and I couldn't fight. So I ran. I broke free of Dimitri's grip, my heart breaking as I did so, and I ran slowly at first then as fast as the darkness would let me move. Blurring by the shoppers, by the shops and out into the parking lot, I ran as fast as I could.

Now Strigoi are fast and strong. Faster and stronger than any dhampir or anybody else but they are not super-comic-book-style-lightning-fast. They are like an Olympic runner compared to a middle aged smoker. And the trained dhampir is the middle aged smoker. But, I outclass all of them, by a long shot.

I made it to the parking lot in twenty seconds. That's pretty good if you have over five-hundred feet to sprint. You try sprinting for twenty seconds and you see how far you get.

I slowed down as my feet hit the blacktop. I was in the loading bay area, where the trucks came and dropped off merchandise. By now tears were running down my face.

You have to understand I needed to do this. I was convinced that if I was around the Moroi, I would lose my control and go on a killing spree. I had seen Strigoi lose all semblance of tactics at the first hint of Moroi blood. I thought I would do the same.

I had to protect them, even if it meant removing me from the equation.

Then the stench of old blood hit my nose. It could mean one of two things. One a worker had spilled blood a long time ago and it had never been cleaned up.

Or. Strigoi.

I was bad, they were worse.

The only thing I saw was the doorway swing shut. Tracking them on smell alone, I identified at least six. Six Strigoi, any group of guardians no matter the size would take heavy losses from that many. The small group assigned to Lissa, Christian and any other Moroi there would get slaughtered along with the Moroi. I flicked through Lissa's head, finding she only had three guardians on the trip, two for her and one for Christian.

The needed me.

If I was going to be outed like this it would be in style. Charging back into the mall, feeling like a bloodhound on the trail, I pushed the darkness into every square inch of my body. I began to run faster, see better, react quicker, and overall function better. I was a killing machine now.

I watched as the seven Strigoi ran through the hallways only to stop in front of the group. The Guardians stepped in front of the two Moroi, Dimitri pushing Lissa behind him as he pulled his stake from the concealed sheath in his duster. I was twenty feet away.

The Strigoi positioned and made threats. Ten feet

The guardians sank into various ready stances. Five feet.

The Strigoi stepped forward towards the group. Then they turned, fear clear in their eyes. I was upon them.

A instantaneous glance through Lissa revealed I looked rather … impressive at the moment. My eyes were solid black marbles without whites or irises. My fangs were bared in a hungry smile. Shadows moved across my skin like living tattoos, forming shapes, symbols, and indistinct images as the flowed around my skin. I had to say I made the right decision on what to wear the tank top really showing off my shadow tattoos and the purple really worked well. The large amount of cleavage made me look like sexy in a Goddess- of-death-come-to-reap-you kind of way.

The Strigoi were the first to recover, they leapt at me in what used to be a blur of speed. I grabbed one's shoulder and tossed him into a second. Reaching out and grabing the third's neck was child's play. I brought his neck up to my mouth. Looking at the six other Strigoi, frozen in fear and the three Guardians, standing helpless in shock, I flashed a man-eater smirk at everyone.

Then I bit down into the thrashing Strigoi's neck, his blood washing down my throat. Unfortunately this Strigoi had been turned a long time ago, his blood was old and stale, only hints of his last meal remained. It was disgusting but my thirst wouldn't let me stop.

The Strigoi stopped fighting. He quickly passed out and became comatose as the only source of energy for his body was drained from him. Not dead but incapacitated, forever.

Dropping his carcass onto the floor I gave my man-eater smile to the rest of the Strigoi. A half-dozen undead killers took a step back.

Time for some fear "Surrender to the Guardians, they offer quick death, I don't offer death at all."

"you think you can defeat all of us? You are nothing but a bloodwhore and a slut. A coward." The Strigoi are nothing if not foolishly foul-mouthed and full of themselves. I could fix that easily enough.

Siphoning a tiny scrap of darkness into my finger tips, I pointed at them and said,

"Mistake." It was delivered in a childish sing-song voice designed to send chills up and down your spine. A small burst of concentrated onyx fire burst from my index finger and flew towards the speaker. He was struck in the chest and went up in flames. I wasn't paying attention I was trying to stay in control as the darkness pushed for control. I squashed it quickly, but it was enough to make sure that I wouldn't do that again.

Ten pairs of horrified eyes watched as the Strigoi thrashing on the ground was burned alive.

I quickly realized just what I had done. Even if it was a Strigoi.

I pulled a large folding knife from my pocket and quickly began sawing at the Strigoi's neck until his head came off. He was dead.

The rest were scared. It was an odd feeling having the nightmares that haunt the human race be afraid of you and knowing that you have the ability to be so much worse than they. I was a badass and it wasn't a good thing. It wasn't my intention to be a thing of terror.

All it took to snap me out of the self-contempt was a second stupid Strigoi. He was tall and thin, a Moroi before he was turned, by his act a royal turned willingly. He would fall, easy.

He lunged, crossing the space between us in an instant. He was faster than any Strigoi I had ever encountered even Isaiah, ancient Strigoi from Spokane. He was an old one. I was faster still.

As he flew towards me I reached up and grabbed his shirt. I brought him in close. I smelled him, he had feed recently but the decaying blood in his veins was rancid. My hands shifted to his throat.

I bit in to his carotid. The heart pumped the blood out of the vein and down my throat. I didn't even have to swallow. The blood was like an extreme version of RedBull it was nasty to taste but the energy rush that came with it. Indescribable.

It caused me to twitch. My hands tightened on his neck. My arms moved slightly. His head was torn from his shoulders. Opps.

That stopped the feeding.

Understandably the rest of the Strigoi were even more scared. One tried to flee but ran straight into the three Guardians they staked him quickly.

For the rest of the Strigoi their flight or fight response said fight. So they did. Or tried to.

The three remaining vampires charged at me all at once. It was the last mistake of their lives.

They were surprisingly clever. Two actually drew knives, not combat knives of hunting knives but ornate cliché medieval type daggers. I spent the first two seconds of the fight taking the knives from them. That's two seconds they survive in a fight with a shadow kissed turned Strigoi.

I spent ten seconds using both knives to slice one head off and stab the other two in the heart. They weren't dead but it was good enough for me. The fight was over.

Four dead, three incapacitated. I motioned for the Guardians to get the three harmless ones. It took them a second to move but they soon found their masks and moved to end the three Strigoi. The threat was gone.

Dimitri steped towards me

"Roz-se?"

I gave him a small smile, it was all I could do.

I pulled all the shadows back inside me.

I was back to looking like a Strigoi. Pale skin. Red eyes. The whole bit. Dimitri took a step back.

His mouth opened but Lissa was the first to speak.

"Rose?" Lissa questioning whimper broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" her confusion echoed through the bond. "You stopped them from attacking us."

"Do you honestly believe that me being Strigoi would stop me from protecting you?" Lissa didn't know how to respond. She closed her mouth and I took that as a cue to keep talking. "Hey, Comrade, remember what I said to you in the cave?"

"Yes." His deep brown eyes met mine, his guarded, mine trying to express everything. Even his voice was guarded. My heart felt like it was being constricted by his fear of me.

"Good, I can't protect her from everything. You still have to watch over her… and …um…I still do Dimitri, I meant it then and I still do."

"What do you – I do too Rose."

Lissa picked that moment to butt into our heartfelt conversation. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

She was hurt that I would keep anything from her. And indignation at her best friend overrules fear of Strigoi Rose anger.

"It's nothing you need to know Lissa."

"Tell me Rose, you fucking promised not to keep secrets from me Rose."

"Language Lissa, you are still a princess."

I gave Dimitri one last look. One last look to last for the rest of my immortal life.

I turned and ran. I didn't look back I would have stopped if I looked back. Running away was the hardest thing I had ever done. The world blurred around me I couldn't tell from my speed or my tears.


	6. Maybe God hates me

**Here comes where i jump in. Chapter 6!**

**this chapter is a bit short, but i promise the next one will be longer! Read, Review and Enjoy!**

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><p>I don't remember how I made it back to the hotel; all I know was that I was suddenly standing in the shower, letting hot water run down my skin, washing off tainted blood. I still had clothes on, sticking to me like a second skin. I peeled off the soggy mess, throwing them onto the floor next to the shower. Through out it all I kept my mind blank, not wanting to confront the thoughts waiting, wanting to burst out and announce "Look at me! Listen to me!" I could feel Lissa's hope, despair, anger, and hatred through the bond, inducing darkness. Like a feather duster, I swept through her mind, picking up the inky black cobwebs, absorbing them into my body. I smiled ruefully. <em>Even depressed you never let up on your job, huh Rose?<em>

That one thought brought on a torrent of others, ones I really didn't want to think. I grabbed the shampoo, massaging it through my hair. Rinse and repeat my favorite words. I went thought it all twice before i let myself think the hated, self-pitying words.

_Dimitri and Lissa had been….fine In fact, more than fine! They'd been shopping in the mall. Dimitri had been looking at rings! Certainly not for me! Because everyone thinks I'm dead, everyone_**.** I thought bitterly, disappointment coursing through me. I barked out a harsh laugh. What had I been thinking? That they'd be crying their eyes out? No, their life would go on, with or without me. My time with them was done, gone, over with. God or whatever was out there that played so cruelly with my life, had decided I'd had enough of paradise and sent me out on my own.

Eve had Adam, but who do I have? Dimitri? No, I wouldn't wish this on Dimitri. He's not shadow kissed, he wouldn't be like me. I shivered, part from fear about Dimitri as a strigoi, and part from cold as the scalding shower suddenly went freezing. _Stupid, cheap hotel, I don't know what I was thinking coming to this run-down one. Can't have costumers using too much hot water huh? Maybe if I showed them my skin when darkness shows they'll let me use the hot shower longer. _

Cursing the cheap service, I stepped out the shower, wrapping the rough towel provided by the hotel around me. I walked out the restroom, stepping daintily on the throw-up colored carpet. I didn't even have to avoid stepping on clothes, as I usually did back in my dorm room. For some reason, leaving my clothes strewn about felt too familiar, too me. In this strange new body, doing usual Rose things felt uncomfortable.

I slipped on jeans and a tank top, towel drying my hair. Tying it up into a bun, I settled into the bed, resting my back against the headboard.

I couldn't sleep in this body; it seems my awesome shadow-kissed powers forgot to add that with the package. I sighed, long drearily. Another not Rose habit. I mused about another name when all of a sudden I was overcome with agitation, fear, anger, horror.

I couldn't see anything for a sec, when I realized I was in Lissa's head, and she had her eyes closed. I could feel her body curled up, her knees pulled up, arms wrapped around them, her head buried in them. I could feel the bead under her, and knew she was in her dorm room.

_Why was Rose there? Wasn't she dead? How come she looked so Rose like, but then so strigoi like? _Her tirade of questions made me tired and weary, and I answered them even if I knew she couldn't hear them. I felt compelled to answer, like she was standing in front of me, questioning.

_What is this, the Spanish inquisition? It's cause I'm shadow-kissed, and being strigoi gives me a few advantages._

"Rose?" Lissa's head snapped up, and she looked around the room, peering into the darkness of it. "Are you there?"

Oh, crap. Could she hear me? Hesitantly, I thought, _You can hear me?_

"Ohmygod, Rose! Oh, oh, oh are you talking to me? How? Where?" Lissa's bubbly happiness made me laugh and feel warm**. **

_I'm flattered. You're missing me so much that you can actually hear me. Hmm, I wonder if it's a shadow-kissed effect. But you could never hear me before? Why now?_

"Oh Rose I don't care about that! How are you? Are you fine?" Lissa's earlier feelings, forgotten in the excitement came back, and suddenly, she wasn't happy and bubbly anymore.

"Where were you? Why did you _leave me? _ You could have at least told me you were alive-" I cut off her shouts**.**

_See, Liss here's the thing, I've DIED and then UN-DIED which is pretty confusing. I didn't really think of calling you AFTER you had already attended my memorial service and saying "Oh hey Lissa just thought of saying I'm not exactly dead, I'm a strigoi! What did you want me to do? And technically, I'm not alive either._

She was silently a few seconds before muttering, "I don't know, you could have told me…"

I laughed, and it wasn't pretty. _You know, I really wanted to do that, call you, see you, talk to you in person. But I decided against it, because the way I am now… I can't see you anymore. That thing in the mall was an accident; I didn't know you were going to go…_

"Well, can we meet? Rose, you don't know what it's been like since you died. People miss you, I miss you, _Christian for God's sake misses you!_" She hesitated, and I knew what name she was going to say next. "Adrian misses you."

_Liss, I can't see you! I drink blood now. I can't control my cravings. Don't worry, _I added when I could since her thoughts going in the wrong direction about me drinking blood. _I only drink Strigoi blood, even if it's stale. I've never tasted any other blood, and I'm afraid one day, strigois won't be enough for me. I only go out once I've had strigoi blood, because my cravings are worse than yours._

"Please Rose! I'll bring Stan, Alberta, Dimitri, Adrian, and Christian with me! Please Rose, I want to see you, you don't know how bad I want to see you!" Lissa's cries and pleadings gnawed at me. Even when I tuned out of her brain her thoughts still attacked me.

It didn't help that I wanted to see Lissa and them too. Didn't help that Dimitri would be there. So finally, a few days later, I succumbed. We agreed we'd meet at the mall outside of Victoria's Secret, and head off to a reserved Restaurant if things went well. I doubted I'd be eating any food from that restaurant anytime soon.

_God, what did I do to deserve this torture? I mean, if you're out there and all, can't you change me back to Dhampir? No, considering how I hardly went to church and when I did, it was because of Lissa, I'm sure your mercy isn't exactly focused on moi here._

I suddenly heard a chuckle, and I whipped around, looking for the person who'd laughed. But I saw no one, and then I heard Lissa's thought-voice in my head.

_Hey, looks like this goes both ways! Cool, but oh. I can't hear what Rose is thinking. Rose? You there? You're making me sound like an idiot…_

_Yeah, I'm here, just wondering how much the Lord Almighty up there hates me._

She chuckled again. _Rose, you don't know how much I've missed you**!**_

_Um, yeah I do. A lot. You can't see me but I' smiling._

A Few Days Later

If God hated me, then this was a sign. I trudged through the rain, unwilling to get there early. It was bad enough that I agree to my sure-death, but going early? That's like the prisoner giving the executioner his axe and saying, "Hey, I'm early for out appointment, do you mind?"

I found another sign God hated me, since what would've been a nice long, 20 minute walk that I could spend trying to uselessly convince myself out of going, it felt like seconds passed as I arrived in front of Victoria's Secret**. **

_Damn, I'm early. _

Instead of looking like a complete prev and idiot standing in front of Victoria's secret, I found and sat on a nearby bench, under the shade of an artificial tree. I was glad that with practice, my control of the shadows had gotten better. It'd been easier and faster to tan my skin, pull in my fangs, and turn my eyes brown.

In fact, it was so good; a few guys actually came up and flirted with me as I waited. A few snarky remarks about experience and liking older guys, and they walked off. I sighed. The only one who interested me was Dimitri, and he was on his way.

An old lady outside the shop caught my eye. She was really old, like the old people in nursing homes. I watched her admiringly as she proudly walked into Tori's Secret, ignoring the laughter around her. She had class and style, and wasn't embarrassed about walking in.

Lost in thoughts of being forever young, I almost missed Lissa's group. When I felt her thoughts calling out to me, I waited until they were almost in front of the store before I walked out.

I'd wanted to dress up, look cute, see the love in Dimitri's eyes when he saw me. But being in comfortable and flexible clothes is the best for fighting, and I this seemed to be a popular strigoi hang-out, so I'd dressed to kill, literally.

I knew Lissa had spotted me when I felt wonder and excitement flow through the bond. I smiled. She looked exactly like i remembered. Fair, beautiful, an angel in disguise-like. sometimes i wondered what God was thinking when he gave a vampire an angel's looks. My eyes slid from her to Dimitri behind her. My breath stuck in my throat, and my heart sunk until i could feel its beat in my feet. Oh God, his eyes, they're exactly like i remembered. Deep and brown, making me feel like i was swimming in warm chocolate. i wanted so badly to run to him, throw my arms around him,say "I love you." But of course i didn't, so like usual, i covered my emotions with attitude. Maybe some Rose was still left inside.

"Hey." I smirked. "How's life?"

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><p><strong>Soooo how was it? Greatly appreciated if you review!<strong>

**I'm not sure if people get when Rose says she feels like Rose but can't do Rose things. Why her and Lissa can mind-talk (?) will be explained later, hopefully, maybe...  
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	7. Letting go is really really hard

**The editer was being a butt so i couldn't write starts off in Dimitri's point of view. i'm sorry, not ALOT happens but it LOOKS like a lot happens. if there are a few mistakes ignroe them, i was too lazy to look through it for them.**

**i just realized Rose is missing her spark. her sarcasm. i need to reread the series!**

**Rose is OOC D:**

**R&R!**

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><p><strong>Shadow Kissed chapter 7<strong>

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><p><span>DPOV:<span>

I saw her before anyone else did. She sat on a bench in the shade of a fake tree, obviously waiting for someone. If you focused hard enough, you could see traces of darkness, like exotic tattoos flash briefly and lightly on her tan skin. My breath caught in my throat. No matter what she wore, she looked utterly beautiful. Her long thick hair flowed loosely down her back, barely touching the top of her jeans.

She was looking up, a snarky smile playing on her lips as she said something to a boy before her. He said something in reply, then backed off and walked away, trailed by his buddy. I ignored the ugly bubble of jealousy that popped up inside me. She wasn't mine anymore. She never was.

I couldn't stop myself. So lightly, like a butterfly's beat of its wings, I whispered, "Roza."

Her head snapped up, turning to look at us. I took a step back in surprise. Had she heard me? But no one near me noticed. Then I saw her looking at Lissa, and not me, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

A breath taking smile spread across her lips, before she looked at me, and suddenly, the smile was gone. I knew she was remembering, the pain and love, and I offered a tiny smile. Her eyes looked so full of pain, I almost ran to her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, feel her, protect her, ease her pain. But of course, I couldn't do that.

She stood up and strode to us, and I was struck by how normal she looked. Instead of Strigoi white, her skin was sun-kissed and tan. Her eyes were a warm brown, not ringed in red like they usually are. For a second, I almost believed she wasn't a strigoi. But then I remembered how easily she killed a whole group of strigoi a few days ago, and I knew she wasn't still Rose.

"Hey. How's life treating you?" I almost laughed, because I knew Rose was pointing out the fact that she wasn't alive. And we were.

I shifted slightly, putting Lissa out of Rose's way. Noticing, Rose gave a small sad smile, and I instantly regretted what I did. Hadn't Rose said she wouldn't hurt her?

"Comrade, I won't hurt her." I flinched when she spoke to me. Comrade was her nickname for me, and it brought on a torrent of memories I wanted forgotten.

"Rose!" Before I could stop her, Lissa ran to Rose. Wrapping her arms around Rose, she sobbed, "I've missed you so much! You don't know how bad it's been without you there. Life lost half its charm."

"Hey, what about me?" Christian snapped, jealous I supposed.

"That's why I said _half_ . You're the other half." Lissa laughed, turning her head sideways to look at him.

As if she became un-frozen, Rose finally hugged Lissa back, and I saw a tear run down her cheek. Quickly, Rose wiped it away.

"Hey, I _do _know how life has been." Rose tapped Lissa's head with a knuckle. "The bond?"

"Oh, yeah." Lissa giggled. "The bond. Hey, do you know why we can talk now?"

"hm, I guess it's cause I died, but then I didn't really die. Because when strigoi are made, they lose their soul, and my soul if bonded to yours. So I guess I died, un-died, and my soul stayed with me. So I'm capable of regular emotions like love, compassion, sympathy…. But keeping my soul isn't everything. Right now, this Rose you see, is darkness. I can control darkness, use it, bend it, and shape it. If I let it slip, I'll look as pale and white as any other strigoi. It's a shadow-kissed effect." To prove her point, she let the darkness slip, and you could practically see it, like when the curtains fall at a play, the darkness fell, sliding over her skin like shadows. Her skin was the usual ugly white of strigoi's. But her eyes, that was the worst. Her beautiful brown eyes, the irises were rimmed in red, giving her an evil look. The warmth in her eyes, surrounded in red, and with the white skin made Dimitri's heart ache. He looked away, focusing on Lissa.

She gasped in horror, and took a step back. Pain and hurt flashed across Rose's face, but as quickly as it came it disappeared. She brought the darkness back up, and Rose was Rose-looking again. Her eyes were filled with pain, and shined with unshed tears. When Lissa looked away, Rose closed them, and turned away.

From my place, I could slightly see her face. Two quick tears fell, and then Rose turned around and smiled brightly. My heart yearned for her. It was almost physical pain, how much I wanted I to hold her, kiss her tears away.

"How… How is this possible?" Guardian Stan's voice was loud and angry, unbelieving. He was looking at Rose with worry and unbelief. No matter how much grief he gave Rose, I knew she was one of his favorite students.

She looked at him silently for a second before answering. "Didn't I just say how it was? I died, un-died, kept my soul, and can control darkness though the bond. Need me to break it down anymore Stan?" She asked, voice harsh and sarcastic. I almost laughed at his expression, but toned it down to a half-smile.

Suddenly, she looked at Lissa, and stayed looking at her. Lissa was frowning, concentrating. She laughed, and I had the feeling they were having a conversation. Before I could say anything though, Guardian Alberta did,

"Rose, are you talking to Lissa?"

"Talking? How? I don't see her mouth moving, and no sounds coming out. Clearly they are talking." Christian said, sarcasm dripping like venom.

"You know Christian, you were a pain in the ass when I was alive, and I see after dying you still are. Yes, me and Lissa are talking." Rose walked to him, sneering in his face.

He sneered right back. "Well then, can you _oh so kindly_ explain how?"

"You know, I'm surprised you didn't faint again. Last time I don't remember getting a chance to have this lovely chat with you."

"Well, it must be the shock of seeing you so absolutely beautiful and covered in blood. gotta say Rose, stale blood suits you."

"Glad to know my sexiness hasn't worn off yet."

"Nah, half the guys back at the academy still have your picture to jack off at."

"Hmm, you seem to know a lot about it. Are you part of that half?"

"Hell no, I don't need to jack off. I got Liss." Christian wrapped his arms around Lissa's waist, pulling her back towards him,

"Christian!" Lissa shouted, her face turning red.

Rose chuckled. "Good to see you back hot stuff."

"Same to you rose." He smiled, chin resting on Lissa's head.

I shook my head, exasperated, Rose and Christian were a force to be reckoned with when they were together.

"Hey, Rose, when are you gonna notice me?" A lazy voice said, causing jealousy and hate to flow through me. I shouldn't hate him. He didn't do anything wrong other than love Rose…

"Adrian!"

_Rose, you're not helping by saying his name so happily!_

"Hey little Dhampir. How you've been?"

She stopped in her tracks. She'd been walking towards him, I guess to hug him, but now she stood still as a statue, staring at him soundlessly.

"Adrian…please don't call me that. I'm…. I'm not a dhampir anymore." I don't think anyone heard the slight catch in her voice. She was looking tiredly at Adrian.

"Ah, crap. Sorry, force of habit. Rose. Hey Rose." He smiled ruefully.

She smiled back, then gave him a hug. I ignored the jealousy and concentrated on why Rose got so sad. I realize it's because she isn't a strigoi anymore, but I doubt that him calling her Little Dhampir would make her voice catch like that.

"Hey, Comrade!" I looked up startled, then mentally scolded myself for not paying attention. Rose was standing in front of me, a slight smile lingering on her lips. "Um, I don't think we should be standing in front of Victoria's Secret to long. Besides, the cashier is giving my dirty looks."

Rose was looking back towards the store where the cashier really was giving her the evil eye. I chuckled, and heard Rose's breath catch, looking back I saw her face contorted with some emotion I couldn't figure out.

She smiled again. It struck me old at how much she smiled.

"So, to the food court?"

I outright laughed. We were going to a restaurant afterwards and she wanted to eat now?

"Rose, we're going to a restaurant later, you'll spoil your appetite."

"I know, but I'm so hungry now!"

She could still eat food?

"I know what you're thinking comrade." I flinched at the nick name. "Even if I've….changed, I still eat food. I don't have to, but an advantage of this is that I don't gain weight, so I can eat all I want!" She smiled happily.

"Rose!" Lissa called, running towards us. "Rose, let's go shopping!"

Rose's face matched my thoughts.

_Shopping? _

Rose giggled. "Ok. It's not like I've been shopping. Last time I got, erm, interrupted." Lissa smiled, looking like an angel.

Lissa walked away, off to tell Christian and them. Rose hanged back, waiting for me. When I caught up, she tried to match my pace, giving up when her short legs couldn't quite walk in my pace.

"Comrade! You're way too tall! I bet you were my height when you were 10." Rose pouted, put out by her height. I chuckled.

"If you drank milk and ate vegetables, I'm sure you would be taller."

"I doubt it, my mom's short. Who knows about my dad though, he could be tall..?" She mused, eyes wondering.

I hesitated, wanting to ask, but I didn't want to hurt her.

"What is it?" Rose was looking at me thoughtfully, staring into my face. I looked away. The urge to hug her nearly overwhelmed me.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"What happened?"

I saw pain cross her face, and instantly regretted asking.

"Never mind you don't-"

"when I pushed you out the cave, Nathan, he grabbed me and bit me. I woke up a strigoi, but I was different, I could run faster, I was stronger, all my sense were better. And, even if I wasn't dhampir anymore, I was still a guardian, so now I hunt strigoi and kill them." Rose's voice was cold, and I looked at her in shock.

"But…that's dangerous! You could…." I trailed off, because honestly? What could I say? You could die? She's better than before. I realized, she didn't need me anymore.

"You're not a guardian." I said brusquely, and knew I had said the right thing. Hurting her would make her distance herself, even if it meant tearing my heart apart.

Her look of pain was all the confirmation I needed.

"Yea comrade, I know I'm not! I died before I had the chance to be one!" She hissed, throwing back my words with venom. I felt my heart break, but I needed to do this. Rose might be shadow-kissed, but she still craved blood. she still killed without a thought. And Lissa would be in danger with her around.

"Stay away from Lissa."

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Yes I can! I'm still you're mentor!"

"No, you aren't! Everyone believes I've died, so who are you the mentor of? You can see ghosts now too?"

"No, I can't." I was glad my voice came out strong and steady, because inside? I was anything but.

"Fine." She hissed. And then, she suddenly crumpled. "I guess that meant nothing to you… ha. I guess I'm the only one who's glad we did it. Well, I'm one mistake you'll never repeat!"

She turned away before I could say something. No, that's not true. She hesitated a moment, clearly giving me a chance. But I stayed quiet, and then she turned away. I closed my eyes. I could feel her move, away, towards Lissa I guess.

My heart broke into thousands of little pieces. The only who could possibly fix it was Rose. But I'd already pushed her away.

RPOV:

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

Those words will probably be engraved into my brain before I could obey them. I rushed into the nearest restroom before the first tears came. And then I couldn't stop them. This hurt worse than when I realized I couldn't go back to the academy. At least then I had the comfort of knowing Dimitri had loved me. But now that was gone, and nothing was there to ease the pain.

Sniffling, I heard the restroom door open. The person walked to my stall and stopped, as if they were hesitating. Then a light knock.

"Rose?"

Lissa. Of course. She would notice me absent.

I sniffled. "Can you just….wait a bit? I'm… I'm not feeling too well…"

"I'll wait as long as you need me to, Rose. I won't leave you alone."

Of course that brought on even _more _tears.


	8. When Life Gives You Lemons Throw em back

**I am so terribly sorry for the late update. Life took control for a while. And school. And pets. But! Stories will prevail, because now i have more time on my hands, and school's out. so yeeeaaah. You know what happens to me ALL the time? i'll be texting or on the phone with somone and thne i'll compltely forget them. when i remember i'll think "oh, shit!" and look, but they either hung up, or stopped texting me. people! there are people with a short attention span! not that i have one...**

**anyways, i forgot to do this the last couple of chapters, so i will now say it:**

**Disclaimer!: I DON'T OWN THIS WONDERFULLY WRITTEN SERIES NOR HER SEXY CHARACTERS (e.i. Dimitri, Christian...) OR HER AWESOME ROSE! (though i do own Roy :D who is he? you'll find out. hint-masooon)  
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**updates will come faster**

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><p>After gathering the last shreds of my dignity and pride, I wiped away my tears and prayed to God that my face wasn't as red as it felt. Then again, God hasn't been really nice lately, and I seriously doubt he'd start now.<p>

I fumbled with the lock on the stall door, my fingers slipping. For some reason, the lock seemed to signify my life. I wanted that lock to open so badly, but I couldn't get a grip on it. My fingers grabbed it but slid away, and it reminded me of my relationship with Dimitri.

_If you can even call what I have with him a "relationship". If I have _**anything **_with him. _ I thought bitterly. I desperately reached for him, but over and over, he slipped away from me. I laughed, cold and harsh. _So pathetic, I'm comparing my love life to the lock of a restroom stall. Maybe I took too much darkness from Lissa. _Then and there, I decided to push Dimitri from my mind. I wouldn't think of him anymore, I wouldn't love him. All he was to me was a superior guardian and a mentor, not a lover. My throat closed, and I made a small strangled noise.

"Rose? Are you okay?" Lissa's worried voice echoed in the restroom. "You sound weird." I could hear her shuffling her feet, her hand running through her hair. It was funny, how I could hear that. Being strigoi gave you unnecessary powers. Useful, but unnecessary. I could hear the pump of her heart, the blood rushing through her veins. Oh. I see. It's for hunting, for killing, for finding prey.

"Rose?"

"Ah," I started. "I'm okay, just lost in thought, you know?" I mumbled, finally thinking of grabbing the lock using my shirt. I opened the stall, finding a worried Lissa, staring at me with wide jade-green eyes. I wondered briefly, as I went to wash my hands, how much it would cost if they had a ring her eye color. _It would be priceless._

"Rose, you're looking at me funny. Are you thinking of something completely random and stupid."

I snorted. "My thoughts aren't stupid. Random? Yes. Stupid? No. They're priceless and should be treasured as words of wisdom."

She laughed, _at me not with me. _"I'm so glad you turning strigoi hasn't changed you."

"Me too."

She giggled again, and then she finally seemed to notice my flushed state. "Hey, why were you crying?" She looked at me, her face the picture of concern. I wondered how she made her face completely show her emotions, so open, so trusting.

"Very delicate Liss."

She flinched. "Sorry, it just tumbled out. No, but really. How are you?"

I looked at her steadily for a while, before I smirked. "How am i? How do you think I am?" like reaching into mucky dirty water, I pulled a plug, feeling the water rush down the drain in a swirling motion. The darkness fell like a curtain to my feet, revealing how I truly looked.

A piece of my heart cracked and chipped off when I saw her flinch and recoil. I knew what she saw. White, pale, chalky skin. Brown cold eyes rimmed in red. Fangs peeking through my lips.

A strigoi.

I closed my eyes to avoid seeing the horror that would be in Lissa's. like the weight of the world, I pooled the darkness over my skin, spreading it evenly like butter on bread. I knew when she gasped that she saw Rose, not the strigoi-Rose, but the dhampir-Rose. The Rose she knew, the Rose she trusted. The tanned beautiful Rose.

"I'm strigoi Lissa. I'm not dhampir, I'm not your best friend Rose. I'm an evil damned part of the night. I'm the opposite of you." It struck me funny that we were having one of the most serious conversations in our lives in the bathroom. Of a mall.

She was struck dumb. Her eyes were wide and shiny, her mouth parted in a small "o". I envied her. Her beautiful pale skin, not like mine, dead and horrid, but healthy and alive. She was an angel, and I was a messenger of death. Funny really, it was like I was supposed to always hide in the shadows, to protect her, to sacrifice for her. The dark side of the luminous bright angel. I suffered while she lived her life. But I can't really say I suffered, because doing this, protecting her, is what I want to do, even if it means suffering in the shadows. Because I love her, and love makes you do stupid, noble things.

"We can't be together Lissa. I can't be your best friend, I can't return to the academy. It's impossible. I can't be your guardian. You'll have to find someone else. I'm sorry Liss."

This was the right thing to do, because being with her was dangerous. Because every moment next to her, was a moment closer to me giving in to temptation and ripping her throat out, sucking her moroi blood.

But I knew, deep down, that there was a selfish part of me leaving too. It hurt too damn much to be next her, to be reminded of a life i couldn't have. To be reminded of love, of life, of living, of being Rose. It was a pain I didn't want to feel, call me a coward, but I didn't want to suffer like that.

"No, Rose. Don't go." Her hoarse pleas tugged at me heart, wrapping and binding it in thick metal chains, pleading me to stay. I shrugged the chains off. It was for her. _They come first. _If I stay around, I won't be able to control myself.

"No, Liss, you don't understand!" I snapped, and suddenly, everything came pouring out. "The pain, the suffering! The temptation! I'm so _thirsty! _I want to rip your throat out and drink your blood. But I can't do that! I can't! It hurts too much to stand next to you. It hurts too much to be reminded of something I can't have!" I cried, stepping away from her, shaking my head to dry the tears that suddenly turned the world into a misty blurry veil of smudged colors. I blinked, and felt the hot tears trial down my cheeks. I was crying. _Again. _Seriously, I needed to get a control on the crying thing. It's happening way too much for my liking. Hell, once was one too many.

"_Rose!" _Lissa's cry was like a splinter through the heart. Before I could break down and cry and have a pity party, I whirled around and ran through the restroom door, leaving pitiful sobs behind me. i could see Christian and the gang looking around, looking for us I guess. Not wanting to run into them, I turned right, heading away. The further I went, the louder I heard Lissa's cries, sobs, echoing in my head, reverberating inside.

It took me a second to realize I was on auto-pilot, going through a familiar pathway to the outside. Familiar, because I'd run away using this route before.

Suddenly, I stopped short. I was tired of running away, tired of running from a problem that hurt too much. Slowly, I painfully walked back to the restroom. My shoes squeaked against the mall floor, and being the immature child I was, it sounded like squeaks of protest, squeaks of "Don't go back, run away!"

All too soon, I stood in front of the restroom, staring into the metal door, seeing my reflecting contemplating me back. Taking a deep breath, along with giving myself a pep talk that involved name-calling, I walked in.

Lissa was kneeling, head in her hands, rocking back and forth, crying steadily. The sight broke my heart. I knelt next to my best friend, wrapping my arms around her, and murmured words, apologies, promises. She didn't resist my arms, so I took that as a good sign. Eventually, the rocking stopped, her cries subsided to hiccups, and she stared up at me, like she was child who just woke up form a nightmare. Even with blotchy red spots on her face from crying, she was still beautiful.

"I'm…I'm s-so s-sorry-y." She mumbled, leaning into my tear stained shirt. I smoothed her hair, pushing it away from her face.

"It's okay, shh, don't worry."

"B-but, it's…. Rose-" she hiccupped. She tried again to say something, but her voice kept catching, until she just gave up.

_Rose, I should be comforting you, not you comforting me._ Her thought drifted into my head.

I chuckled, without humor. _**I'm your best friend. Of course I'll comfort you. Is there a rule somewhere saying I can't?**_

_No, but still…._

_**It's fine Liss. It is as it is. Que sera sera. What happens happens. We can't change it. It's my duty to be there for you and I'm perfectly happy to fulfill it.**_

_But it's not fair that only you comfort me._

_**Liss, don't worry about it. That …thing, before, it was just the darkness getting to me. **_No need to mention how that's never happened before in my strigoi state.

"Come on Liss." I said out loud. "We can't keep crying in this restroom. We got to go." I lifted her body, and was struck dumb at how light she weighed. Yeah Lissa wasn't fat, and she was light, but this was too much. I lifted up her shirt, exposing her stomach, and she cried out in protest. I ignored her, staring in disbelief at the prominent bones sticking out of her. it was almost skeleton-like.

"Liss…" I choked. Was she starving herself? "What… happened?"

"What happened?" She snapped, yanking down her shirt. "What happened was depression! What happened was you." She sounded angry and hurt, and I knew darkness was affecting her. peeking into her mind, I saw bunches of its inky cobwebs clouding it, exaggerating her emotions. I wiped them away, and suddenly, she was just sad and tired.

"I'm sorry….Rose, please…I just want to go home." Her voice cracked, and I could feel her tiredness, not just from her mind, but radiating off her. I nodded, understanding. Ushering her out the restroom, I gently led her to the group. I wasn't surprised to see the relief and worry on their faces. We had been gone, what, 20 minutes?

Christian ran forward, taking Lissa into his arms. I felt her warm body leave my cold one, and I immediately regretted the loss. Turning away, I tried to block out his mummers to her, love in his voice. I didn't have anyone for me like that, not anymore, never did. Now, I never will. Who would want me? I'm a freak of nature.

Before I could do anything stupid, I turned around and faced the group. "I-I have to go now. i… have something to do."

Turning around, I stalked off in the other direction. I ignored Lissa's calls in my mind, which was hard. I turned to go into a favorite shop of mine, but then decided against it. I didn't have money. I didn't have anything, except the clothes on my back and the ones I'd stolen off other strigoi I'd killed. Nasty? Yes. Wanted? No. Needed? Yes. Like a fat kid eating vegetables. He didn't want it, but he needed it.

I sighed. I wouldn't lower myself to stealing. Turning away, I continued, imaging myself in newly bought clothes. Life wasn't fair, and it felt even more mean towards me. Suddenly, I wanted to be moving, and so I did. I left the mall, running in my super, fast way. It was old already, and had lost its excitement. i ran, everything blurred yet crystal-clear. I could see everything, but I went by it so fast I couldn't process it exactly, so I ran in a blur of color, seeing a leaf, then a squirrel, then a truck, and then I saw a city. It was already near night, and I'd run a long way, but I wasn't tired. I had energy to burn, and it was making me jittery, like someone on speed. But my drug was heart-break.

I slowed to a walk, heading deeper into the city. Lights blared, and sounds engulfed me, but I felt better. I knew no one here, and that suit me just fine. I ignored the worried reproachful voices in my head, sounding suspiciously like Lissa and Dimitri calling me an idiot and reckless. I frowned. I didn't need to worry about being careful anymore. Nothing could happen to someone like me.

I felt oddly high in the air, like I was walking on water, and everyone around me, the bustling crowd, each and every person became crystallized in my vision. I could see each one perfectly, little details that would go unnoticed in a passing, like a mole under an eye, an earring, random small things. I noticed them all.

My jitteriness increased, and I needed an outlet. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't bleed it out like Liss, so I needed something else. A man entered my vision, and I sauntered over to him. I looked up at him, lowering my eyes slightly. He was enthralled.

"Can you tell me where the biggest, busiest, packed club there is?" I asked, gazing up at him with big eyes. I moved slightly to the left, and I saw him watch. His adam apple bobbed as he swallowed. He frowned slightly, as if at himself, and then his nervousness was gone.

"Sure, if you'll be my date." He looked down at me, black eyes intoxicating. I would've been a goner, if I wasn't already in love. I leaned toward him, exposing my breasts. He stared down hungrily. I giggled, and he frowned, at me this time.

"Aw, can't you just tell me?"

"Nope, I need a date, and you asked me." He smiled, and for a second I was thrown off. He looked so boyishly cute and sexy when he smiled. Like Mason.

Automatically, a conditioned response to a smile like that, I smirked. He looked startled at my sudden smirk, and his own lips mimicked mine.

"Ok then, take me. I'll be your date tonight." I smiled at him, and I stepped a bit closer. I didn't care if he was a rapist or a murderer, I could take care of myself just fine. I needed a release, and he was just the thing.

Taking my arm gallantly, he swept a deep bow. I sucked in a sharp breath. "You first m'lady." He murmured, eyes looking up at me through his bangs. Then, I saw Mason, smiling deviously up at me, blue eyes twinkling, and alive. For a second, I completely and utterly believed Mason was standing in front of me, breathing, safe, alive. For a second, I felt a heavy weight lift off my shoulders, one that had been there since his death. For one second, the world seemed a bit better. But then, when tears came, and I blinked to clear them, I saw black hair, black eyes, and a different devious smirk.

Not Mason, not forgiven. Not alive. Before I could cry, I pushed the tears back and my feelings. I couldn't tell the line between sadness and guilt, and felt slightly ashamed. Before he could ask me why I was about to cry, I needed to say something and fast.

Shaking my head, I smiled up at him, and realized I didn't even know this guy's name.

"So, are we figuring out who the murderer is or are you going to tell me your name." I raised an eyebrow in question, keeping in the childish satisfaction of accomplishing the action.

He, too, raised his eyebrow magnificently, and I snorted. Suddenly, it wasn't so cool anymore.

"Roy." Instead of looking like a fool, I raised TWO eyebrows instead of ONE. Ha! Beat that coolness! I knew it was totally and completely childish, but right now, I needed some normal weirdness in my life.

He hesitated a second, and then lifted ONE eyebrow, and frowned. "And your name princess?" He asked sarcastically. Damn, he beat it.

Contemplating for a second, I shrugged my shoulders. "Rose."

"Rose? Why does it sound like a question?"

"Because I don't know who I am myself."

The club was good, despite the headache that kicked in as soon as I stepped a foot inside. The weird ache was there, and everyone still stood out, but other than that, it was absolutely awesome. The music was exactly my type, and I dragged Roy to dance almost immediately. He wasn't half-bad, in fact, he was great, but I wasn't about to tell him.

He took it personally when I could down more shots them him, and still drink more. In fact, he was really interested in that.

"You drunk yet? Cuz im close."

"Nope, not at all."

A few minutes later.

"Still not yet?"

"Uh-uh."

About 30 minutes later.

"I swear to God lady you HAVE to be drunk after THAT many."

"Not even a buzz." I smirked at him, which seemed to depress him a bit.

Finally, when the club was closing, he leaned against the bar, face upward, groaning at a headache. He was still looking upwards, obscuring his face from my view. Stupid tall people. He hesitated, and then murmured, "Aren't you afraid of me? You don't even know me."

Since I knew he couldn't see me, I allowed my face to express a small portion of my sadness. "It's okay. Nothing matters except two things, and those two things are very far away. If they're okay, nothing else matters."

He stayed staring at the ceiling a bit more, and I was about to ask what was so interesting up there, when he turned and looked at me. His eyes, his eyes were really scary. They were reflective, almost like a mirror, endless black orbs of nothing. It startled me to see that there, because it was familiar. I saw it every day in the mirror, except mine had a small spark, that only two people kept there. He didn't care about anyone.

"I understand."

His words hung in the air, and before i could do something stupid, say, like, cry, a big burly security guard came towards us, a menacing look in his tired eyes. I contemplated how much of a fight he would put up, but gave up. I didn't feel like it.

After that we made small talk, and then I got his number. "In case I ever need to go clubbing, I know just the guy." He didn't protest when I didn't give him mine.

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><p><strong>So, who hates me? Lol i put a romantic twist in here for poor Rose who needs love. Don't worry DxR fans! there will be more scenes with them, it's not over! i know Rose was a bit weird with Lissa, but remember, darkness is a mental thing that exaggerates feelings. right now, Rose is trying to harnass too much of it, so it's taking a toll on her and Liss. later, Rose will wonder about her pity party in the restroom, but right now, she's unknowingly trying to release darkness. <strong>

**So, review! Reviews are drugs for Authors. it's so reassuring when you know people read your lil fan fiction. plus i need all the criticism i can get! next chapter will be either short, or very long, depends on how much will happen.**


	9. And So The Story Of My Pathetic Life

**Hellow! Sorry it took so long. I just couldn't put exactly what i wanted into words. i welcome suggestions for future chapters, and yes, Roy will become a major part of this story. I like Roy, in my mind's eye, he's every girl's best guy friend. **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS, just this story plot and my Roy. **

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><p>Once I got back to the hotel, the weird high was off, and I was left stunned at what I'd done, and thirsty. So thirsty, I was surprised that I hadn't drunk Roy's blood. Needing to satiate my thirst I donned a small leather jacket and left in search of a meal A.K.A. Strigoi.<p>

I stalked more clubs, staying away from the one I'd been at with Roy. For some reason, going there to hunt Strigoi tainted the place….made me feel unclean. Either way, I didn't go near it, which was well and all. I spotted and tracked down a small pack of two, who were stalking a young couple. They cornered the couple in a dark alley, and I cornered them.

To save the lovers from nightmares I knocked them out. I felt a tad bit guilty, but they would only wake with an annoying headache, and I'd make sure to leave them in view of passerbys. The strigoi were hilariously easy to finish off, and though their tainted blood didn't quite tame my thirst, it quenched, and that was as good as it was going to get. I could be guilty for anything except taking an innocent person's life, or their blood.

Not that I wasn't repulsed by it, in fact I sometimes dreamed, to my disgust, of drinking pure fresh blood, straight from the source and not through a strigoi. Whenever I had these "fantasies" I would go off and hunt more strigoi. Eventually the town was nearly depleted of them, save me and those in hiding.

I moved on to another town, staying in another hotel. All my money came from strigoi I had stolen from, seeing as how they were undead and lived forever, they stocked up on quite a bit. I was disgusted with myself at how low I went, but the Strigoi Rose simply saw these actions as "necessary", and the good Rose, the original Dhampir one, would shush and go back into hiding.

Often I would head back to the town closest to the academy, "home" as I called it, meeting with Roy and trying in vain to drink my sorrows. I never slept with him, and we kept the relationship to friends only. He didn't mind, enjoying the feel of not having to worry about anything and being himself. He didn't ask about my past, and I didn't ask about his. It was a relationship we both needed, something light and stress-free, something that wouldn't hold us down.

I talked with Lissa sometimes, chatting with her, making sure she was happy, and then once my job was done, always, when we were about to end the conversation, I would feel her hesitation, and what she wanted to ask, and always I said "No, Lissa. I just can't." And she would understand, but she always asked. I felt touched at her wanting me home, but the pain was too much.

I desperately pushed Dimitri to the back of my head, trying in vain to forget him. But of course I couldn't, and whenever I did think of him I went to do something that would distract me. So I drew. I actually enjoyed it, and sometimes I would draw Roy in different poses, or show him my other sketches. They were bad, but working on them endlessly soon improved them. I was far from good, but I was a step higher then amateur.

That's how I lived my days for a month and a half, trying desperately to forget, and to remember at the same time. It even became routine, of course since the gods blatantly hated me, it didn't last.

I was back home from one of the busier cities, and the strigoi population had risen slightly. So I did what I now considered my job. I tracked them down and killed them.

It was one particular strigoi that gave me trouble. She was smart, really smart, and she knew how to fight, with practiced and swift moves. I felt relieved. _Finally, _I thought, _a challenge._

So we sparred, and our moves adding up perfectly, we were matched hit to hit, blow to blow. I laughed. "If we weren't trying to kill each other we could have been friends."

She giggled. "You're right. We _could have been." _And then we were back at it. of course I won, and then my relief died down, and for some reason, I felt lonely. Lonelier than before,, like the world rested on my shoulders.

I was splattered with her blood, it left intricate trails down my arms where it slid down. I had my façade down, I was just strigoi Rose, and I hated myself.

"R-rose..?"

I whirled around in shock. Roy. Roy was here. He looked at me strangely, and I realized I had my guard down. Immediately the shadows spread across my skin, chasing away the deathly pale and replacing it with sun-kissed skin instead. Then I thought, what's the point? And dropped it to reveal the strigoi underneath.

His eyes, if possible, grew even wider. He took a step towards me. hey, at least he wasn't running away. "Rose? Is… is that you?"

I laughed. "Is it me? Who else would have this body?" I gestured with a hand downwards, and he gave a shaky laugh.

"T-true. But… what was that?"

"Hmm. You're not reacting like you should. You don't sense danger?" I tilted my head, questioningly.

He swallowed. "For some reason, my gut keeps telling me to run away. Does that count?"

"Yes, that counts. Normally, you should listen to your gut, but im not as dangerous as it thinks I am. Do you want to know?"

He looked at me then, and I mean really looked at me. I could feel his eyes travel from my feet and slowly upwards, not even hesitating when he reached my breasts, just slowly continued upwards, until it reached my eyes. He stared into them for a long time, and I knew he saw the ungodly red tint that surrounded the irises of my eyes. He swallowed again.

"Yes."

ROYPOV:

She sat in front of me. She? Maybe "it" would be better. But right now, I couldn't bring myself to call her an "it".

Right before we had stepped out of the alley, with light from a nearby lamp post shining on her directly, a shadow crossed her pale skin, leaving behind a smooth tan. The red tint left her eyes, leaving behind the warm soft chocolate color, almost black.

She walked in front, leaving me to follow her if I wanted to. I could feel her nervousness; I watched her face, seeing her automatically, as if a habit, scan the area around her. Once, she whirled around, facing me and scaring the hell out of me. But she wasn't looking at me, but behind me. Her face scrunched up and turned around, and I heard a sigh. Looking behind me, I saw a man walking silently a few paces behind. He crossed the road and entered a restaurant. I watched through the big windows in front of the place, seeing him head to a table and the girl sitting there rise and hug him.

I turned back around to face Rose, but she was already a few yards ahead, looking back at me expectantly. I hurried to catch up with her, and after that I didn't respond to any of her weird behavior. I had noticed this before, when we'd meet at the club, but it was less toned down then. Now, it was like she expected someone to be following us.

She led me to a small dainty café, walking directly to a secluded area. I still followed, unafraid. As soon as her skin had turned darker, the fear in my gut disappeared, and she felt more…_human. _That was the only way to say it. Before, when her skin had been deathly pale, my body and instincts were screaming at me that there was a monster inside, and was higher on the food chain then I was.

I looked at Rose again, and saw her watching me intently, her near-black eyes revealing nothing. I cleared my throat nervously. "Um, are you going to explain or not?"

She visibly started. She looked around her again, and this time it annoyed me. "Why do you keep doing that?"

She returned her dark gaze to me, and I shivered. "Because I was trained to."

Trained to? "Trained to what? Why were you trained?"

"It's a long story, and very complicated. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

I snorted. "Rose, you know I'm a curious guy. You pointed that out the second time we met."

She smiled briefly. "Well, if you get confused don't blame me." And then she launched into a story that I would have thought just that, a story, if I hadn't seen what she'd don't in the alley.

"In actuality, there are vampires and ghosts. Yes, don't give me that dumb look, vampires roam free. But the human population don't know about this except a select few. I'll get to that later. There are three types of vampires: Moroi, the good type, who do drink blood, and can use magic. Yes, Roy, magic. Each Moroi specializes in one area of magic; water, fire, earth, and air. And one more, very rare and hardly ever found, spirit. The opposite of Moroi, Strigoi, are just that, the opposite. They feed on humans and kill them, or turn them into strigoi as well. They are ruthless and cold, and they don't give a damn about anything. And then, there are Dhampir. They're the offspring between Moroi, the good vampire, and humans. I was a Dhampir.

Strigoi, the bad vampire, love to drink Moroi blood, it makes them more powerful than they already are. So they hunt them down and kill them. The Dhampir, who are infertile with each other, need the Moroi to survive. And so they made a deal. The Dhampir became the Moroi's living protectors. And they were given a name. Guardians.

So, since obviously vampires can't go to normal schools, they made secret Academies here and there for moroi and dhampir children to attend. There, the Moroi and Dhampir were taught normal school subjects, but Moroi learned to train their magic, and Dhampirs trained to become body guards.

Once they graduate, Guardians are assigned to one moroi to protect for the rest of their life, unless they switch to another moroi, but that doesn't happen often.

The vampire world have a king and queen, and 12 royal families. There was one royal family who are nearly extinct, the Dragomirs. They had only one last survivor, and that was my best friend, Lissa. Lissa was one of the rare types who had spirit magic. Spirit magic can do all sorts of things, healing, aura's, and so on.

This is where I come in. Me, Lissa, and her family were coming back from a trip to the city, when there was a horrible car crash. Everyone died except Lissa. I died.

But Lissa brought me back to life with spirit. In fact, we didn't even know I died, we just thought I survived. But after that, me and Lissa had a bond, I could feel what she felt, I could hear her thoughts. And so I became the best guardian possible for Lissa, since I would always know when she was in trouble.

But then, a few months ago, Strigoi attacked the Academy. Essentially, Strigoi have no soul. Remember that. Well, when they attacked, one Strigoi turned me. By turned, I mean they made me a strigoi."

At that, I interrupted. "Wait, wait, wait, so you're a str-strigoi? Aren't you supposed to be killing me then?"

She smiled sadly. "Don't interrupt. Anyways, yes, normally I would be killing you, since Strigoi have no soul, thus no morals and so on. But I was bonded to Lissa, my soul was forever linked to hers. So when I got turned, I kept my soul. Which means I have morals and don't wanna kill you.

Strigoi are killed on sight, and I looked like one so I left the Academy, more like I ran away."

Again, I interrupted. "What do you mean you looked like one?"

She chuckled darkly. "Right now? This was how I looked when I was a dhampir. This," The shadow crossed her skin again, except this time it left behind pale skin and red tinted eyes. "is how strigoi look." She grinned, and I jumped. On either side of her mouth, there were two sharp teeth. Again my gut was screaming at me to run away, and I realized why. She was a monster in disguise.

The shadows crossed her skin, and she was a Dhampir again. "There. There goes my story."

ROSEPOV:

He actually took it quite well. Too well.

"You said, when we first met, that there were two people you cared about. I can figure out that, er, Lissa was one, but who's the other?" He's too damn smart for his own good.

I sighed, and looked up at him. "He…he was my…mentor. I had got…behind on training so they assigned me a mentor to catch up." Tears came unwanted into my eyes, and I roughly bushed them away. "His name was Dimitri."

"You're not telling me everything."

"You're don't need to know everything."

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><p><strong>So, Review? I really like reviews, it just gives you a good feeling to know people are actually reading what you write. plus i need the criticism. if any of ya'll are for RxR please tell me, its nice to know there are supporters. If i forgot anything in my lil explanation of the secret blood-sucking life, please tell me. i wrote it out there as a fresh reminder for those who haven't read vampire academy too recently. i dind't want to get into the politics of the moroi world, so i didn't. hell, i dont even get into my OWN world's politics. <strong>

**suggestions for how the story line can go are welcome, since i dont have a clue. if you have any specific wants, like a scene between certain people i'll try to write that in. **

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Vampire Academy, Hurt-Comfort, Romance