Durarara!!/デュラララ!! Laptop crisis with Shizuo Heiwajima

**Spiderman?**

**I thought you were a mitten c:**

**a bored piece kappa decided to do when there was nothing to do.**

Once Shizuo was really really really bored so he went on his computer but wait he had no money for a computer so he went to go buy a computer so he got off his butt and ran to find Shinra. Shinra's apartment was all the way across town though.

Shizuo jumped onto Shinra's apartment building and kicked through Shinra's window. "Ha yah!" Went Shizuo as he smashed the window glass to pieces.

"Hello Shinra I want a money" Shizuo stated with a twinkle in his eye. There in the apartment living room, Shinra was a little potatoe swimming in a pool of ketchup.

"Oh oh shit why you appear now." Shinra was pretty sexy looking under all the ketchup.

Shizuo then kicked over the ketchup bowl and lifted him up.

"I needs some money." Shizuo announced.

"Hey I was still swimming in that Shizuo you. I looked good didn't I." Shizuo was not that aroused by the ketchup.

"Noes." Shizuo denied right away.

"Sure you liar." Shinra was starting to sound like Izaya.

"No really, listen Shinra.." Shizuo ignored him.

"Don't lie I know you wanted some of this. You know you want it Shizuo" Shinra continues to swim in the spilled bowl.

"I'm here for an emergency." Shizuo reasoned.

"For what." Shinra squints his little potatoe eyes.

"I need to buy a computer and do stuff because I'm bored."

"That's not very important Shizuo." Shinra never get Shizuo's reasoning.

"Well." Shizuo suspected a pile of cash on Shinra's desk for some reason because he was rich doctor guy.

"Oh, look theres a flying hat about to take your money that's going to suck everyone in." Shizuo pointed to the side of him very boldly and quickly to distract Shinra.

"Where." Shinra fell for it and looked at where Shizuo was pointing.

Shizuo grabbed it sneakily like a super secret penguin from Madagascar named Skipper.

He then sneaked away sneakily like swipper the fox.

"Oh, fiddle sticks my money." Shinra was mad and sad.

"Yes now I can buy my house and my computer."

All of a sudden, Shinra dived into Shizuo on the giant Titan ear.

"What." Shinra landed, and went in front of Shizuo.

"There was really a giant green sock there?"

"Yeah, and now that you took my money you must rap battle me."

"Wait what I'll give it back here." Shizuo tried giving it back, but Shinra slapped it.

"You must rap battle me, if I win I get the money back and suck you into the sock."

"The fuck hell no." Shizuo got up and decided to run.

"If you run I'm making it suck you in." Shizuo stopped and ran back.

"Shit, ok. Fine." And so the rap battle started as Shizuo and Shinra magically appeared on a rap stage and were against each other, Shizuo had baggy pants with a sparkly jacket and a big money chain on him with some cool hat.

On the other side was Shinra with glasses, some white super dancing shoes marked unbeatable.

"You ready for this Shizuo." Shinra looked swag.

"Hell no." The rap battle started with Shizuo.

"Too bad." Shinra was not helping.

**The music grooves yeah. c:**

"Yo Shinra when you were a kid I saw you stalking me every single day and you were only 12 with them big glasses." How that made sense, no one knew if anything.

Doom doom doom. Here comes Shinra. With more non-sense rapping that don't even.

"Shizuo you got the momma jeans, with that angry look, you keep tearing down everything everywhere you look you can't even touch your toes." Never underestimate the potataoe with glasses.

"Oh well you can't even look at your toes look at you so fat like a potatoe you. I don't mean to offend others, but it's you who got the big head of carrots." Shizuo ran out of ideas at the most.

"At least I don't have a stalkin maniac (Izaya, and for that, Izaya sneezed somewhere in Ikebukuro) who thinks your gay because of your looks." Shinra ooed.

That fired Shizuo up with raps.

"They say your father was a great man you must be what's left, need to stop hating on gays and let em' teach you how to dress. You've got the carrot jeans. And you got nuthing on me." Shizuo motioned that was some moonwalking. "I'm the head of bukuro, your like a head of cabbage, bout to get smacked by my stimulus package." Shizuo seemed to be owning Shinra. "You're a bad potatoe, with no chance you can't even touch me. I hope you saved your best rhymes for the second half, cause right now. I'm 47 percent through, kicking your ass." He does a kick in the air.

"Whatever, that 40 percent thing got you real man, would it remind you how many decent jobs you had?" Shinra hit a boo-boo.

Izaya sadly was the reason for Shizuo's firings though or maybe Shizuo just imagined that it was Izaya and rage at the enemies of the power rangers, losting his jobs.

"Look, I respect all races of veg, but it might get crazy." Shizuo stated.

"I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts. I'm richhhh. and you ain't dawg." Shinra then showed up with some bing bing of a money sign chain necklace on him.

"Now, let me be clear argggh, now. Don't get it twisted. We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it." Shizuo made a motion and punched the air.

"Ahh oh ahhooh ahhh.. well your a little pickle bubby turnip." Shinra ran out of ideas.

"Oh, yeah, well, your stupid." Shizuo commented back.

"You're stupid." Shinra was not giving up.

"Nuh-ah." Shizuo denied with his pouty face.

"Ooh." Shinra felt insulted.

"Ahh" Shizuo rolled his eyes.

"AHHH" Shinra made a bird sound.

Then kappa appeared out of nowhere, with a leather suit, sunglasses and a cool boy cap with a mic.

"By the power invested in me by this giant Buddha head. The winner shall not be the in the shine of two dreads." Shizuo and Shinra looked at him, with the "I can't believe he talks" face.

"YOU! I WANNA LIKE YOU." He points at Shizuo. "DON'T TALK ABOUT CHANGE JUST DO IT. I FOUGHT FOR WHAT WAS IN MY BRAIN UNTIL A STOP SIGN WENT THROUGH IT." Shizuo's eye twitched.

"And you, money bags your like a potatoe pancake, you're flip floppity." He then pointed at potatoe Shinra. "This is a community, not a company YOU CAN PLAY LIKE MONOPOLY." Shinra was stunned.

"KAPPA. HMMM." Then Kappa vanished with a turn and two kappacumbers snapped in his beak.

"Did we just get owned by Kappa." Shinra questioned to the thin air.

Shizuo and Shinra returned to where they were, as the rap battle stage faded away. (place)

"Yep." Shizuo replied.

"Well, I guess I can leave since we both lost."

"No, money first."

"I thought we both lost."

"Nope."

"AHH, just shut up and take my money." Shinra gave up and threw money at Shizuo.

"Yay money." Shizuo caught the money and started throwing it into the air many times.

"Cya sucker." Shizuo ran away with the money.

Shinra couldn't get back at Shizuo for saying that since he'd have just left.

Shinra just went back to his ketchup pool, but the hat was still hungry, for it hasn't eaten for a while. Since it didn't get to eat Shizuo, it tended to eat Shinra instead.

The hat started to suck Shinra and his ketchup pool into it.

"Noooooo." Shinra got sucked up.

Meanwhile, Shizuo ran out of the building and rode on his bicycle to the computer store. Just then, the evil man appeared in front of Shizuo.

"It's time to cut yo." Shizuo stopped, got off his bike, and went in front of Izaya face to face.

"Izaya, I'm trying to buy a computer." Shizuo strictly said to Izaya.

"What why." Izaya knew Shizuo couldn't use a computer properly.

"I'm really bored so I'm gonna go play a game on it or something."

"Wait what, your just gonna rage at League of Legends and smash the computer.." Apparently Izaya played League.

"Nah, nah. I won't." Izaya wasn't convinced. Shizuo would rage.

"Suit your self..." Before Izaya went, he threw a knife at Shizuo's belt and it fell off.

Izaya skipped away in victory.

"NO MY BELT." Shizuo's pant's slipped, and he would have to pull them up tight, making him look like a retard.

Shizuo waddled into the store, and talked to a cashier.

"Can I help you.. sir?" The cashier judged, he looked like a penguin.

"Yeah, can I get a laptop like, you know, a normal one." Shizuo studied the different laptops he could see.

"Yes, we've got lots of normal ones but, what are you doing..." The cashier really wanted to ask.

"Don't ask, you." Shizuo ended his chance to.

"Here, this be a normal one." The cashier pulled out a smooth black laptop.

"I'll take it." Shizuo used one hand and his teeth to pull up his pants while giving the cashier the cash with the other hand.

"Here you go, hohohoho." The cashier pretended to be santa.

"Why are you laughing like that..." Shizuo wondered.

"Oh, um, I think I got a santa cold, yeah." The cashier wiped his nose in proof.

"Wat." Shizuo just stared at him. "I don't think that's even..."

"You know what, just, just take the laptop." The cashier gave Shizuo the laptop and Shizuo got out of the store, and since he was on a bike, he would have to show everyone his boxers on the way home.

Lots of people judged, and some were amused and aroused. Wait wat.

Finally, after lots of embarrassing moments of people looking at Shizuo with boxers, he got into his apartment, went into his room. Shizuo placed the laptop and plugged it in, after it was on, Shizuo would have to enter shit.

**Meanwhile, Shinra was stuck in the hat.**

"Hellooo, anyone there?" Shinra was hopelessly still in the hat. Until suddenly, he was transported into a portal.

"Ahhhhh." Shinra disappeared from Ikebukuro, while the hat floated away, and crashed through his window.

On the way, Shizuo finally entered all the shits, and started to be sucked into this world, they call "fanfiction . net" and began reading fan fics on the way of this world, apparently he could read about himself, not weird at all. He decided to read one about him and Izaya.

Shizuo enjoyed reading, and started to drool a bit too.

Meanwhile, Izaya was trying to get into Shizuo's apartment with his super secret spy tools.

Izaya sneaked into the building, did some sorts of, ninja movements while people just looked at him.

Izaya went to Shizuo's door, and used his knife to unlock his door, he was now inside.

Shizuo went on to another one.

Izaya was nearly to Shizuo's room, he took off the spy stuff, put them in his special box, and surprise attacked Shizuo.

"AHHHH." Shizuo freaked out a bit too much for that.

"That was kinda loud.. anyway what you doin-" Izaya looked at Shizuo's screen, and saw a picture of them both in a moment.

"Erm." Izaya quickly judged.

"You saw nothin' nothing I tell you!" Shizuo clicked it away, and started to play a game.

**Shinra was now sent into a game.**

He was dressed in a sort of sorcerer robe.

"Wha?" Shinra looked around, he was in a very open spaced forest.

Just then, Shinra noticed a little troll that looked at Shinra.

"Arrrgh." The troll chased after Shinra.

Shizuo on the Shinra was in, saw a potatoe with glasses with a troll on the screen.

"Hey that looks like Shinra.."

Shinra screamed in terror and ran around in circles. He ran and ran, until he tripped on a button that was in the second part of the forest.

"Yeah definitely Shinra."

Suddenly, Shizuo's screen flashed in a strange way.

"The hell? I thought this was a normal laptop!" It flashed more.

"How do you fix this thing..." It flashed once more, and this time, Shizuo and Izaya shone with light. They were getting sucked into the laptop. "Wait, what."

"AHHHHH." They both went into the game.

Shizuo and Izaya spawned in Shinra's starting place.

Shizuo had a light pack of armor, with a sword, and Izaya was dressed in a thin black cloth, with leather pads on his shoulders and knees. Izaya was fitted with two daggers.

"The heck? where are we?" Shizuo looked around.

"Eh, I don't know." Izaya checked out his outfit.

"I think we got sucked into my computer into a game.." Shizuo continued after seeing Shinra in a game, they may be in the same one too.

"Wait, what? THIS IS YOUR FAULT SHIZUO WE GONNA DIE HERE BECAUSE OF YOU." Izaya was pissed at Shizuo.

"Hey don't blame me blame the guy who gave me that laptop." Shizuo countered.

"Well you should've bought another one." Izaya facepalmed.

"YOU CUT MY BELT." Shizuo didn't go on with the laptop situation.

"Well, um. You." Izaya trailed off. "One, that didn't have anything to do with the laptop. So that doesn't matter if I did." Shizuo glared at Izaya.

"Well, let's just go forward and look for a exit." Shizuo sighed walking on the strange road of 2D game world.

**the end part 1 c:**

**TBC with potatoe Shinra's progress in the game without getting killed C:**

**eat your kappacumbers kappalings.**

**-kappalord c:**


End file.

Durarara!!/デュラララ!!, Adventure, Parody