One Tree Hill 1. Chapter 1

Summary: This story is about Peyton, Haley, and Brooke losing their way, losing who they are, or meant to be. Layers will be removed, protection will be added, and the person that they are longing to find, will be find. All they need is just one person to help them find the way that they have lost time ago.

She had been lied to her entire life and now she had lost faith in everything in which she once believed in. Peyton Sawyer believed that there was nothing left living for. Her one true love had left months ago and though she wished each night for his return she knew in her heart that he was never coming back to her. The one man that she loved more then anything in the world had lied to her, she could no longer trust her father. But he was not really her father, now was he? Peyton was in the hospital when her mother died, well at least that is what she thought, but she now knows that she was not her real mother. Her real mother lied to her as well, she didn't care anymore, and she would be out of her life soon as well. Cancer had taken over and in a matter of months Peyton would have lost two mothers in her lifetime, and only if she was lucky it will just be two. There was nothing left for her to do, nothing left for her to believe in. Everything she had known was a lie; she thought there was no reason to live the life the way she had been living because that was no longer reality. Her new reality was full of bad moves and wrong choices and if no one stepped up and intervened there would also no longer be a Peyton Sawyer.

Tric was now her life, she did not attend school regularly she felt it was pointless. She was not going anywhere in life so why waste her time in a prison daily. Her new best friend was cocaine, she had tried it once before and it scared her that she was becoming addicted. Now she was more then addicted, she relied on it to get by a day. She was so grateful when she met Gavin, he never ran out. Peyton had now been dating Gavin, who was the on call guitarist for the Tric, for 6 weeks. She ran all the shows, it was her job, but there had come a point that she was so out of it that she forgot to book shows and that is why Friday nights would be without shows.

Brooke Davis looked on as her former best friend made out with Gavin. Brooke could not believe that this is where Peyton was at in her life, dating a guy with only one name. She had noticed that she barely saw Peyton at school anymore but she did not know if it was her place to confront her. Brooke lacked in the best friend department when Peyton needed it the most so the duo were no longer close.

"Now that is just disgusting," Haley James said coming over to where Brooke was standing. "I cannot believe it, she never is without him, I mean we were practicing last night and she was still connected to his hip. I do not get her anymore. The Peyton we knew is most definitely gone."

"Do you think that she is ever coming back?"

"Umm…what do you think Brooke? We all tried to help her, we went up and beyond and she still pushed us away, I do not know if there is even anything that anyone could do." Haley looked at Brooke and realized that was not what she wanted to hear, "I am sorry Brooke, I have not given up complete hope if it makes you feel any better."

"It doesn't," she said looking over at Haley who returned a sad smile, "but thanks for trying. If this is the way that she wants to live her life now then there is nothing that I can do to change it."

"I wish there was something that I could say to make it better, but she has made up her mind."

"She is going to get hurt, Haley."

"I think that she has passed that stage, she can no longer feel a thing, and she is content with the way her life has turned out."

"Then I will just let it be."

"Well I am always here if you need anything Brooke, do not give up hope, because if you do, it is all over and you have lost her for good. I am going to go see if I can pry Peyton off of Gavin so we can practice, I will see you later."

"Good luck, and Hales," Haley turned around to see what Brooke was going to tell her, "thanks."

"Anytime Brooke." It was so ironic; Haley and Brooke were the ones who used to not be friends. Brooke actually harassed Haley for a good part of their sophomore year, but a year later they were better friends then Brooke was with Peyton. No one can control the path that life had written for each other.

Brooke watched as Haley went over to the duo and just hoped that maybe Peyton would come over and talk to her next.

Haley made her way over to the lovers and spoke, "Gavin…Gavin…" it was almost useless she could not get either of their attention, "Peyton…Gavin…practice…we need to practice." Haley was losing patience so she went over to the stereo that was blasting music and turned it off and that was when she got a response.

"Hey why did you do that?" Peyton asked as she gave a disgusted look to Haley.

"Because I need Gavin." She looked towards Gavin this time, "we need to practice."

"Do we have to? I think that we have it down perfectly."

"Yeah we do need to practice. Do not worry your pretty self though, the show is not for another 2 hours, and we are not going to practice that long, you can go right back to Peyton's lips when we are done."

"I am sorry baby," he apologized to Peyton as they locked lips once more.

Haley had totally lost patience, "GAVIN."

Gavin kissed Peyton once more and then rushed over to Haley, "Calm down, I am sorry that the so called husband of yours never taught you real love, but I know what it is, and I do not need you interrupting me."

Haley could have said a million things right then but she just let it slide. She was hurt with more then just his words though, she knew that the only way that he could know that was from Peyton. It hurt that even though the two rarely spoke that Peyton would give away every detail of her personal life to her guitarist.

Brooke had heard what happened, and felt bad for Haley, but was happy to see that she kept her cool. She also knew that Peyton was the one to tell Gavin and since Haley was not going to say anything she decided to stand up for her friend and went over to Peyton.

Before Brooke even got a chance to speak, Peyton beat her to it, "Well if it isn't Miss Pom-pom Queen herself. How have you been?" she asked sarcastically.

"Very funny Peyton, I wouldn't laugh too hard, you used to be one yourself."

"Yeah well the main word there is used to be. That is not who I am anymore."

"Well that brings up an interesting point Peyton. I have been trying to figure this out for awhile now, who the hell are you?"

"You wouldn't want to know that person."

"I asked didn't I? I want you to tell me."

"I am alone. I trust no one. Everyone that I have ever loved have either lied to me or left me. There is no need to go on living my life the way I have been living it, because that was a lie as well. So that is who I am, thanks for asking," she replied again sarcastically.

"Well good to know. I could add a few more things to that list."

"Oh you think you still know me? Enlighten me then."

"You are a back-stabber."

"Back-stabber? What did I ever do to you to stab you in the back? If you want to see a real back-stabber look in the mirror. Where were you when I needed you the most, oh yeah you were in the arms of Felix. So leave me alone, I have work to do."

"Not so quickly. I was not talking about me. I was talking about Haley. How dare you tell Gavin about Haley's marital troubles? She never did anything to you and now you allow him to throw it in her face."

"That was all him, so do not come over here and blame me for something that I had nothing to do with."

"It was your fault completely, you told him something that Haley had entrusted in you and he hurt her with his words."

"Haley is a big girl, she can take it."

"Oh is that how you see it? I do not care how strong you perceive her to be, no one deserves to have their hardships displayed for the world to see."

"I do not see what you are getting so worked up about, this has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me. Peyton you and I used to be the best of friends, now I do not even know what to consider you. I do not like the person that you have become. You have pushed away everyone that has tried to help you. There is nothing else that anyone can do to help you."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I do not want any help? I bet you never thought about that. I am fine with the life I am living now. I do not care if no one else is. It is my life and if you do not like it get over it, because you no longer have anything to do with it. Goodbye Brooke," she did not even allow Brooke to have a chance to respond she just walked away. She did not want Brooke to see her get emotional. She wasn't an emotional person anymore since she felt nothing daily, so there was no way that she was going to allow some who meant nothing to her stir her up. Brooke meant nothing to her…right?

Haley was not quite aware the reason that Peyton never had Friday night acts, but she was taking advantage of it. Each time Peyton was act-less Haley would fill in. Since Haley was no longer on the tour or involved in the music business it was something that eased some of the pain that came daily from losing Nathan. And it hurt, but she would never let anyone know it, because deep down in her heart she knew that everyone else was right, it was her fault. But still pained her each morning she woke up and was not in Nathan's arms.

Brooke was still a little speechless from Peyton's little rant, she just watched as Haley did her sound check. She was amazing, Brooke knew the reason that she had given up the music business, but Brooke still did not know how anyone could give up something they love so much. Then it hit her, she gave it up for something that she loved even more…the only problem being that he didn't love her back anymore. Haley never showed her pain though, and Brooke actually was worried about this fact, she knew that Haley must be holding it in, and that was even worse. Brooke had also noticed that Peyton was no where to be found, but she was no longer her concern. As much as it hurt her, there was nothing that she could possibly do to get through to Peyton, she was done with the world that she lived in. She was just waiting for the world to be done with her.

Lucas Scott always showed up for Haley's sound check, he wanted to support her in everything that she did. It hurt him that she left without saying goodbye, but he soon realized the reasons and has not left her side since. Haley was his best friend in the entire world and he would be there until the day that he died. Lucas walked over to Brooke, at the current moment in time they were undefined, they each loved each other that was not going away, but neither was sure that they were in love. Not yet at least. It was going to take some time for both to be able to trust each other, but they were going to take it slow and if who ever said time would heal was right, they would be together again.

"Hey," he gave her his Lucas Scott smile, "she sounds great tonight," he said looking back at his friend.

"She always sounds great Luke."

"But tonight she sounds even better."

"Okay, you are right," she gave him the best attempt of a smile.

"Hey, what's the matter Brooke?" He knew her way to well.

"Nothing," she looked at him and saw that he didn't believe it, "okay, you got me, you win, I had a talk with Peyton and it didn't go well, that is all. I shouldn't have ever confronted her to begin with, it was a big mess."

"Brooke, it is okay that you did though, don't feel like you can't talk to her just because she changed."

"Luke," she had to laugh, "it really isn't that easy. Have you even tried talking to her lately? It is impossible to get a sentence out without her cutting you down."

"No, I haven't talked to her in awhile, I did not know if it was my place to."

"Well then I hate to break it to you Lucas, but I do not think that it is your place to tell me what to do."

"I am sorry, you are right. I guess I didn't realize how bad it had gotten."

"It is okay Luke; I shouldn't have reacted like that anyways. I just felt that I have finally lost my best friend. And it just hurts sometimes to know that it is something that I could have prevented if I was just there for her when she needed me. But I have concluded that there is nothing else that I can possibly do, I have done enough, I am done trying and failing, Peyton and I were not meant to be."

"Hey, what did I tell you about that?" Haley said as she had come over as they were breaking for a little bit and have overheard most of Lucas and Brooke's conversation.

"You told me not to give up, because then it is really over. But what happens if it is already over, Haley? There is nothing left for me to do when she is not willing to give at all. She told me that she doesn't need my help, so I am not going to try anymore, it is wasting her time, and mine as well."

"Well that's the spirit;" Haley told her sarcastically, "Brooke, just because Peyton said that she doesn't need help doesn't mean that she really doesn't. The more you try the more she is going to pretend to hate you, but the more you do she will come to realize how much you care about her. There has yet to be a breaking point Brooke. Do not give up yet, if she means anything at all to you."

"Hey she is tutor, she has got to be pretty smart, you might want to listen to her," Lucas told Brooke as Haley playfully whacked him on the arm, "hey that hurts." He returned her whacking by picking her up and tickling her.

"Stop, stop, please, I am sorry," she laughed. With more begging Lucas left her alone.

Lucas had given Brooke time to think, "So what do you think?"

"I can't give up, no matter what she tries or throws."

"That is exactly what I want to hear," Luke told her, "I don't know about you two, but I am hungry, you want anything, I am going to find my ma and some food."

Both girls shook their heads, "You are such a boy Luke, go get your food."

"That is what they tell me," he laughed and was off.

"I love that kid," Haley told Brooke, who was not as cheery as Haley had known her to be. "What's the matter Brooke? You have got to stop thinking about this, please. Let's think about something else, like spring break. It is only two weeks away Brooke. You love spring break, you can do all the shopping you want, and you can go to the beach, you love the beach."

"Haley, you are talking like a mad woman, slow down. I am not thinking about Peyton anymore, well at least not entirely."

"Then what are you thinking about?" Haley wondered.

"You."

"Me? Why would you possibly be thinking about me?"

"Gavin said some harsh things to you."

"Oh that, it was nothing, he was just mad that I tore him away from Peyton, no need to think about it any further," she tried to play it off and look away.

"Haley, you have not recovered yet, the scars on your hearts are still new and you are still living in pain each day."

"I do not know where all this is coming from. I am honestly fine, yeah what Gavin said was harsh, but it was reality and reality can be harsh sometimes. I can deal, I am a big girl."

"That is funny, that is exactly what Peyton said."

"You were talking to Peyton about me?" Haley didn't know if she was upset or pleased that someone other then herself noticed.

"That is what some of our conversation was about, I knew that the only reason that Gavin could possibly know about your martial issues, would be from Peyton and I told her that she had no place telling him that."

"If that is what you two were arguing about, I really wish you weren't."

"What's done is done Haley. Don't worry though; it was not the only thing, if that makes you feel any better."

"Oh completely. I am fine Brooke, I have come to realize that Nathan does not love me anymore, and there is nothing else for me to do."

"Haley. That is a complete and utter lie. You know that Nathan still loves you, do not say that."

"Are we still talking about the same guy? Nathan Scott, basketball player, son of Dan Scott?"

"Yeah we are. He didn't know what to do when you left, he still hasn't recovered and it is taking him longer then anyone might expect. He will always love you Haley, please tell me that you know that."

"Well he has got a screwed up way to show it. He pushes me away; he doesn't even stick around long enough for me to have a civil conversation with him. I have apologized as much as I can. I have given up my music career, but he just remembers me leaving him. But does he not realize that he told me that it was over? I know that I kissed Chris, and I know I shouldn't have, but it meant nothing. He told me to leave. I never left because I loved Chris; I left because I loved music. Doesn't he realize how much it hurt for him to have me choose between music and him? And I didn't choose music because I didn't love him anymore or loved him less. I left because I didn't think he loved me anymore."

"He has never stopped loving you Haley. The love does not just die."

"Well that is what it feels like sometimes," she looked away briefly and then returned her eye contact to Brooke, "whatever I am fine, look how well I turned out," she gave Brooke a fake smile.

"Do not even try to tell me that you are fine, Haley. I live in the same room as you. I hear you cry each morning after you wake up and realize that Nathan is not there."

Haley was stunned; the tears had seemed to fall so easily that she forgot that they fell each morning. "I did not know."

"It is okay Haley, you are allowed to cry, and it makes everything feel better sometimes. If you are lucky sometimes with your tears the pain washes away."

"Well I must not be one of those lucky ones."

"Luck is overrated then. They can have their world."

"Very funny Brooke, nice try. I am done with this world anyways, so it doesn't matter anymore."

"You better be careful, you are sounding a lot like Peyton."

"Well maybe we are more alike then I would like to admit."

"Stop this Hale. Where is this all coming from?" She looked over at Haley who had sad eyes. "Wait I know. Gavin really got to you, it is okay Haley. No one ever said that you had to keep it in."

"As much as I love him, he hurts me so much Brooke. I have been trying to be strong, and I know this is not a win and lose situation but that is what I feel like. I feel like he wants me to go through as much pain that he has been through. I think I already surpassed that, because there is no way that someone can hurt more then I hurt right now."

Brooke knew that Haley hurt, but it saddened her that she hurt this much, it was so much more then she could have ever imagined. She was hiding it so well, and she knew that she could break any moment. "Well I do not know what to tell you Haley, I am always here for you."

"That is all you need to say," Haley informed her and then went into Brooke's arms as she had opened them for the fragile girl to go into. She really did not want them to, but tears fell, tears she had been keeping in for only God knows how long.

"It is okay, let it out."

Lucas returned with a smile on his face and two cokes, but the smile soon disappeared and the cokes were displaced when he saw his best friend in tears, "What is going on here?"

When Haley heard Lucas's voice she backed away from Brooke and wiped her tears away, "Nothing, just emotional girl problems that's all. Nothing that we need to concern you about," she tried to play it off again.

"Well I do not care if it is just 'emotional girl problems'; if my best friend is crying I want to know why."

"It is not a big deal Luke, I have to go back and practice anyways, I will see you later. Thanks Brooke," with that she was off back to the stage wiping her eyes with each step.

"I know her to well, what's wrong?"

"She has a broken heart Luke."

"What can I do to help her repair it?"

"That is the problem Luke, there is only one person that can repair it, and as much as you hate it, it isn't you."

"It's Nathan."

"I am afraid she is not dealing with it as well as we thought. I think it hurts for her to get up each day, Luke."

"It is that bad?"

"Yeah it is. But she is good covering it up. And she will continue to do so until she can't anymore."

"There is nothing that we can do?"

"Just being there for her and acting normal will be enough for now. We cannot help her until she asks for it."

"Well then that is what I am going to do," he turned to Haley on the stage and the words she was singing dug deep into his heart, "I still love you, even if you do not, true love, I think I forgot, pain is all I feel, my heart too broken to reveal, I still love you though, even if I have nothing to show… I will always love you."

If she was the only one in the room she would have broke down there in the club, but she maintained herself and sang her heart out onto her sleeve. At least pieces of it, because in all honesty she did not even know if it was whole enough to be revealed.


	2. Chapter 2

If she was the only one in the room she would have broke down there in the club, but she maintained herself and sang her heart out onto her sleeve. After the set was over she went over to talk to Gavin, "Nothing you can say will hurt me."

"Well thank you for informing me, I can go on with my life now that I have been informed. Anything else you need to tell me? Your favorite color? TV show?"

"No that pretty much covers it," she was surprised that Peyton was dating this guy, he was a complete asshole. He had no respect for anyone; she actually known him longer then Peyton, her older sister Taylor had dated him once. Gavin did not treat Taylor right and even someone as boy crazy as Taylor was able to admit that he was not a good guy and left him in her dust. Nevertheless, Haley and Peyton were not exactly the best of friends right now, so even if Haley tried to tell her that, there was no way that she was going to believe her.

After Gavin had listened to Haley, he went to find Peyton. He found her in the back room with a couple of his friends, and there was a line of coke on the table ready and waiting for Peyton to inhale. "Let me take that one babe," he said basically pushing Peyton out the way onto the ground.

She composed herself, "Thanks a lot, Gavin that was my line."

"You can wait your turn, I just had to duke it out with little Miss Singer."

"What happened now?" she asked as she watched him snort her cocaine.

"She informed me that nothing I could say would hurt her, like I care," he said as he wiped his nose.

Peyton once dated Nathan and they had become even better friends after Haley left him with a broken heart. Ever since then she had thrown Haley and her friendship out the window. Peyton believed that Haley deserved to hurt as much as Nathan hurt, so she was adding on to Haley's broken heart. "Well I can help you out if you ever need it; she deserves a lot of pain."

"Oh I can give her a lot of pain babe; you can even call me the king of pain."

"Well King of Pain, share the wealth," she told him as she moved him out of the way so she could get the next line and inhale.

It was getting very close to show time and Peyton and Gavin were no where to be found. Peyton needed to introduce Haley and Gavin was needed to perform. Haley took it upon herself to find the duo. Technically she was not allowed in the back room, but she was in dire need of finding Gavin so she barged in. What she found was not what she expected to find and she did not know if she was more shocked or concerned, or both. Peyton was about to inhale her sixth line of cocaine, she was gone after three, but no one was stopping her. Gavin was basically egging her on. However this stopped when he saw who was in front of him and he was not happy to see Haley. He got up from where he was seated next to Peyton and approached Haley. She could swear that she saw evil in his eyes as he was fast approaching. And before Haley had a chance to even speak Gavin's hand was around her neck and she was struggling to breathe while trying to bat Gavin's hand away, "I swear if you tell anyone what you have seen, you and that pretty boy will never have another chance to get back together, you understand me?"

Haley barely heard the words that were coming out of Gavin's mouth she was just concerned with getting his hand away from her neck, she just nodded hoping that would be enough to get him off of her.

But before he did so he looked back at Peyton, she would be too out of it to ever remember this, so he took advantage of that and turned back towards Haley and kissed her will all his might. With the kiss he released his grip on Haley, and asked her again, "You realize what is going to happen if you tell anyone, right?"

The second that Gavin's hand released from her neck hers immediately went to it to rub it as she attempted to catch her breath; she just nodded at his question because she could not speak. But that was not enough for Gavin, he wanted a response from her, he grabbed her chin and asked her again.

Haley looked into his eyes and was sure that the evil she had imagined was no longer her imagination; Gavin's eyes were filled with pure evil. She got out a whisper, "Yes, you bastard."

He was not too pleased with her after that response but could not do anymore as her heard a male voice call her name.

So that whoever was calling her name could not see what was going on in the back room she rushed out of there, but not before catching another glimpse of Peyton, she was so close to gone but there was nothing that she could do. Haley was running so fast out of the there that she ran into Lucas, who had been calling her name. If Lucas wasn't there to grab her Haley would have fallen to the ground.

Since she did not make eye contact with him or speak, he was worried, "Haley did something happen?"

She shook her head, looked at Lucas briefly and then rushed away from him, leaving him completely confused.

There was no way that Haley could perform that night, she had to find Karen and tell her, and she just hoped Karen wouldn't ask her any questions. Haley was still catching her breath as she gathered her things. Karen actually came to her when she saw this, "Hey, kid, what is going on here?"

"Something came up, I cannot perform tonight, I am sorry," Haley spoke in barely a whisper as she looked into Karen's eyes briefly as she sporadically collected her things.

Haley picked up the entirety of her belongings and tried to rush past Karen. Karen would not allow Haley's passing and grabbed onto to her arm to prevent her from passing. As she did this Karen caused Haley's things to crash to the ground causing a commotion in which everyone turned to view. Karen looked into Haley's eyes and was concerned about the girl that she loved as a daughter, "What happened Haley?"

"Nothing, I just…I just…I just don't feel good, I am sorry, I have got to go," this time she rushed past Karen leaving all her belonging scattered on the floor of Tric.

Lucas went over to his mom, "Do you know what happened? Because I am very confused to what is happening with my best friend. Once second I do not know where she is, the next she is rushing past me on the verge of tears."

"I do not know Lucas, she canceled for tonight though, and that is not like her."

"Brooke said that she has a broken heart."

"I could have told you that Lucas, but I do not think that is why she rushed out of here."

"Then why did she, Ma?"

"I cannot tell you that either Luke. But give Haley some space I think that is what she might need right now, time alone to think."

"Is that healthy?"

"It is never healthy to have a broken heart Lucas, but that is not something that is going to mend quickly. It will though, and in time we will have our old Haley back, but until then I am afraid I do not know what to tell you Luke."

"It is okay, you do not always have to have the right answer. Who does anyway? Okay, well I am going to go tell Brooke what happened. What are you going to do about tonight?"

"I do not know yet, I need to talk to Peyton, but I have no idea where she is so that is going to be a problem."

As if Peyton heard Karen speak of needing her she emerged from the back, but there was no way that she would have the answer she needed. "Peyton, are you okay?" Karen asked walking towards her.

Peyton batted Karen's arm away, "I...I…I have never been better…." she started to laugh uncontrollably until she fell to the ground; nevertheless this did not cause her to stop.

Lucas looked from Peyton to his mom; neither really knew what to do. Even Karen had given hope on helping Peyton, she was not the same girl that used to come to her when she was sad or needed advice, or just needed to know she was not alone. Karen knew that Peyton was on a destructive path but with all her might she could not help her out. Lucas bent down and gripped Peyton's arm and brought her to her feet.

Gavin saw that the two were rather close and ran over and there and pulled Lucas off of Peyton, "Leave her alone, man."

"I am not hurting her, I was helping her up," Lucas told him, he saw that Gavin's eyes looked glazed. Then he looked at Peyton and noticed her was the same but even worse. "She is in no shape to be hanging around here, take her home."

Gavin was supporting Peyton now, "Well you see this," he showed Lucas his guitar, "it is a little thing called a guitar, and I am playing tonight for what's her name. So now would not be the greatest time for me to take her home."

"Well what's her name, oh yeah her name is Haley, Haley just ran out of here, there is going to be no performance tonight," Karen informed Gavin. "And since Peyton is in no shape to do anything right now, I think it would be best if you both left now."

"What happens if we are not ready to leave," he said actually approaching Karen.

"Whoa man," Lucas said coming in between the two, "we do not want a problem here. My mom just thinks that Peyton has seen better days and she thought that you cared enough about her to take her home and get some rest. That is all that she was trying to say, there is no problem here."

"Oh yes there is," Gavin said uncontrollably angry, with his anger, he released his grip on Peyton and she fell to the ground, she was completely out.

Brooke saw what had happened and rushed over to Peyton, but Gavin shoved Brooke back causing her to fall into a table. Lucas quickly went to Brooke's aid, he bent down and looked into Brooke's eyes and did not see fear, but he did see sadness and that was not any better. He extended his hand for her to grab, she accepted, and thanked him.

Karen carefully watched Gavin and her son with Brooke, "Gavin, I really think it will be best for everyone if you just leave, we do not want to start any trouble with you."

Gavin looked to person to person, then he grabbed Peyton from the ground roughly, and kicked a table over and then left, but not with out shouting at Karen, "I better still get paid tonight, it is not my fault that little misses no talent ran out."

There was nothing that Brooke, Karen, or Lucas could do as they watched Gavin literally drag Peyton out of Tric. None of them knew how to react either to what had just happened in front of their own eyes. Each gained composure, and then Karen turned to Brooke, "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I am fine Karen. Don't worry about me; I am more concerned about Peyton. Do you think that she is going to be okay?"

"It is hard to say about Peyton, I know that something was off tonight."

"Yeah she was high, Ma."

"What? Are you sure Luke?" Karen asked not wanting to admit that that was off with Peyton that night, she knew that she had a run in with it the previous year but she thought it was a one time mistake.

"Yes, I am positive, her eyes were glazed, and there is nothing else that explains the way she was acting."

"Gavin too?"

"His eyes were glazed as well, but he was not as bad as Peyton."

"He sure was angry though, I have never seen anyone react that way before."

Brooke could not get the sight of her former best friend being dragged out of the club and she was not being able to do anything to stop her pain, "How did she get here?"

"What do mean, to Tric?"

"No, not to Tric. How did she get to this point in her life that she has to turn to drugs to feel anything?"

"She was hurting, the people she cared about the most lied to her."

"But there are so many other places that she could have turned. She is getting hurt worse now. Even though the ones she trusted lied to her, they loved her. Look at the only person she trusts now, I doubt he even knows how to spell love, let alone show it."

"As much as you do not want to hear this Brooke, we are going to have to let Peyton make her own mistake. She will soon come to realize that the path she is taking will only have a terrible ending and turn off of it. Peyton is a smart girl; we just have to believe that she will make the decision before it is too late."

"I know she is a smart girl, but when she is high on drugs, rather then life, I am afraid that she is living in a distorted world, and it might be too hard to realize the mistake that she is making."

"I am not going to give up on her, Brooke. I will make sure that she doesn't get hurt," Lucas told her, "but I do not want you to get too involved, especially when Gavin is involved, he is trouble, and I do not want you to get hurt."

"Thanks Luke," she embraced him, "and I mean it, not just because we had something going on once. Just because you are a good guy, and you care about the ones you love, I respect that."

"Well as much as I like the sound of that, I am not doing a very good job at taking care of them. Look at Haley, she has a broken heart, as does Nathan, Keith is gone, I messed up with him, and then Peyton is so far gone that she has to avert to drugs. I should be doing a better job."

"But Lucas, it is not a job in which you must accomplish alone, or at all for that matter, no one is asking that you do so."

"I know that Ma, I just feel like it is the least that I can do sometimes."

"Speaking of Haley, where is she at?" Brooke said looking around.

"Didn't you see what happened?"

"No, is she okay? What happened?"

"She rushed out of here; she said that something happened and that she couldn't perform tonight. I don't know what happened. I mean one minute she was set and ready looking for Gavin so they could go on, the next she came running out hysterical. I really have no idea what could have caused this in her. Did she say something to either of you?"

"I know that she has been battling a broken heart and that she broke down earlier, but after that she was fine. I do not think that she would back out of a show for no reason. Something must have happened. I think I am going to head back to the apartment and see if she is okay."

"I am going to come with you," Lucas told her.

"Luke, I think that it might be best if you just let Brooke go right now, she was very upset, I wouldn't want you to overwhelm her right now."

"But I am her best friend Ma; I can be there for her."

"Lucas I know that, and she knows that, but just let Brooke go for right now, she lives with Haley, she has to go home. She will call you if Haley needs you, okay?"

"I swear I will call you first thing I know anything, Luke."

Luke hesitantly agreed, "Okay, first thing, promise."

"Lucas, I promise," with that Brooke gathered her things and headed back the apartment that she shared with Haley since they end of the summer.

Brooke arrived at her apartment and noticed that all the lights were out, it was still early so she knew that there was no way that Haley could possibly be sleeping. Brooke walked into the bedroom that she shared with Haley and noticed that Haley was in fact in bed back against the world. She did not know whether to attempt to talk to her or to just let her be, but she heard a sniffle and realized that Haley had to be awake. She got into Haley's bed and ran her hand through Haley's hair reassuring her that she was there for her, and when she felt that she gained her trust she asked her, "What happened tonight Haley?"

All Haley could do was shake her head, there was no way that so was going to tell Brooke what happened, she did not want to relive it any further anyways. But it was not going away as easily as she thought or wished it would, she could not get the image of Gavin's hand around her neck. She never felt so scared in her entire life, and she was the youngest child, so that said a lot. But not only that, she could not get the image of Peyton out of her head. Did Peyton's life really elevate to drugs? However, she knew Gavin way to well, he hurt Taylor, and as much as Haley hated to admit it, Taylor was the strongest person that she knew.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: _Italicized words_ are flashbacks.

All Haley could do was shake her head, there was no way that she was going to tell Brooke what happened, she did not want to relive it any further anyways. But it was not going away as easily as she thought or wished it would, she could not get the image of Gavin's hand around her neck. She never felt so scared in her entire life, and she was the youngest child, so that said a lot. But not only that, she could not get the image of Peyton out of her head. Did Peyton's life really elevate to drugs? However, she knew Gavin way to well, he hurt Taylor, and as much as Haley hated to admit it, Taylor was the strongest person that she knew.

Haley remembered it quite vividly actually. _Taylor was a rebel; she did everything that her parents told her not to do. They told her that she was not allowed to go out with Gavin, he was two years older then her, and he just gave off this bad guy image that their parents did not like. So Taylor sneaked out but before she did Haley caught her and threatened to tell their parents, "I'm telling," she remembered telling her. _

_But Taylor begged and begged, "Haley, please if you do not tell this one time, I swear that I will not pick on you in school anymore. I know that you hate it, I will leave you alone." _

_That was not enough for Haley, "I am still telling Mom, you always say that you are not going to pick on me anymore in front of your friends and you always break it. Why should I believe you now?" _

"_Because I really like Gavin," she pleaded with Haley, and that was the first time that Haley had ever since her so serious about a guy._

"_Mom and Dad don't like him Tay. I don't know, he doesn't exactly yell boyfriend material," Haley told her what she thought, trying to be as sisterly as possible._

"_Haley, please, you can even give me I told you so if he is not the guy that I thought he was okay?"_

_That was the final straw, Haley let Taylor go, "Okay I won't tell anyone, and I will keep this to myself. But if Gavin is a bad guy, I get to tell you I told you so."_

"_If that would make you happy, then go right ahead, just let me leave, Gavin is waiting for me."_

"_Bye Taylor, I hope you have a good time."_

"_Me too, don't wait up little sister."_

"_I always do." It wasn't like their parents did not care about them, they loved them more then anything. This was just their way of showing each other that they really did care about each other deep down there._

_Haley read a book until she heard a car door slam; this startled her at first because Taylor was careful not to bring any attention on herself, so Haley already knew something was up. She rushed to the closest window to see what was going on. Gavin had a grip on Taylor's upper arm and he was in her face, Haley could not really make out what was going on. The two of them were walking towards the house when all of a sudden Gavin pushes Taylor to the ground and leaves her there while he runs back to his car and sped off. Haley quickly rushed down the stairs and opened the door. Taylor had made it to the front stoop but that was as far as she had made it. Haley bent down to see what had happened at Taylor's level, but before she could even ask a question, Haley's attention was averted to Taylor's eye, "Tay what happened?"_

_Taylor looked at her sister's concerned eyes, "What happened?" Taylor saw Haley nod and then continued, "what happened is that you won."_

"_Won what Taylor, this was not some sort of contest, or win/lose situation."_

"_If that is what you think then whatever, I win then, if you aren't playing."_

_Haley did not understand how Taylor could be laughing about something like this. It was her life and she had been hurt by Gavin, she had the bruises around her eye to prove it. "Let's get you in the house Taylor."_

"_I actually like it out here, it is a lot quieter then it is in my head."_

"_Well that is not going to work right now, we need to get you back in the house before Mom and Dad find out. What are you going to do about your eye? What are you going to tell them?"_

"_Well I hadn't really gotten that far, but thanks for reminding me. Oh I got it; I am going to tell them that I fell out of bed. I am so rough in my sleep, they know that. I think I am good to go."_

"_Yeah that looks a whole lot like you fell out of your bed; you better sell it, because only idiots will believe that one."_

"_Are you calling our parents idiots, little sis?" glad that the conversation seemed to be going into a more lighthearted direction._

"_No, I am calling Gavin an idiot for doing that to your face. He is the only reason that you have to cover up for Mom and Dad."_

"_Well if you really want to call anyone an idiot, you are looking at one, shout away. I am idiot," she yelled a little louder then she probably should have._

"_You are not an idiot Tay. You just made a bad choice."_

"_Okay Haley I did not ask you to be a temporary parent, I get enough of that from Jimmy and Lydia, I do not need to hear things like that from you."_

"_Fine, then I am done. Let's get you in the house so we can both go to sleep."_

"_Not before you say it."_

"_Say what Taylor? I have no idea what you are talking about."_

"_Yes you do, I am ready for my big fat I told you so."_

"_Well you are not going to hear it from me, c'mon lets go, please?"15 minutes later Haley accomplished putting her older sister to bed. She went into her room and shut her light off and then looked at the clock, it read, 3:53, she had 4 hours until she needed to get up. Oh well if sleep needed to be sacrificed so be it, it was for Taylor, and that is all that mattered._

Haley was forced back into reality with the constant callings of her own name from Brooke, who was trying to get her attention. And as much as Haley knew that this was out of her best intentions, Haley really could not bring anyone else into the mess she called life.

Brooke caressed Haley's hair once more, "Hales, please tell me something, just let me know that you are okay."

Haley knew that Brooke was being the friend that she needed but at the present time she wanted to be alone. But Haley realized that she does not always get what she wants, life does not exactly go her way. If it did then she and Nathan would be together and she would not need to be playing Friday nights at Tric, and she would have never had run into Gavin again. This was not Brooke's fault, she was one of the only people who were still there for her, there was no need to make her suffer. She turned around to finally confront Brooke, she could not possibly tell her that Gavin nearly killed her, there was no way that Brooke could keep that in, and Haley did not want to worry Lucas or Karen.

Brooke felt like she was getting somewhere when Haley turned around and though she felt she might be badgering her, she was concerned, she felt like she needed to ask her again, "Haley, did something happen tonight that caused you to run out of Tric?"

"I just had a rough night Brooke, I thought that I could handle it all, but I was wrong, like always."

"Hale, you cannot possible think that you can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"Well that is what it feels like for awhile now."

"And I know that, I feel bad that you have been dealing with it alone though. Not anymore though, you have me, whenever you feel like you cannot deal with anything anymore, I am here for you."

"That means a lot to me Brooke, it really does."

"Am I sensing a but coming along?"

"But this is something that I think that I might have to deal with on my own. I do not want to drag you into this mess."

"Haley, did you miss the part where I voluntarily offered to be there for you? This is not something that I am being forced into doing, I want to do this for you."

"Why, Brooke? I don't understand."

"For being a tutor girl, you aren't that smart some times. Haley, you are always there for everyone else, whether they ask for it or you are just genuinely kind to others and care about them. You have done so much for others; you deserve to have someone there for you sometimes. But I am not even talking about other people, I am talking about me. You have always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve you to be. You have stood with me through this Peyton catastrophe; I am not backing down from you."

"Thanks Brooke. There are not a lot of people that have been on my side since I went on tour last spring; I appreciate you being here for me. But to tell you the truth I hadn't let anything out in a long time and it was all bottled up, so I exploded, it is not something that is going to reoccur."

"Well if it is, I am here for you," Brooke told her as she got off her bed and went to go call Lucas. Brooke dialed Lucas' number and waited for him to pick up.

Lucas did not even say hello, he went straight to, "How is she?"

"Hello to you too," Brooke really did not mind, she knew that even if Lucas and her got back together there would always been competition in her life with Haley, he loved her more then anyone, other then his mom. "She told me that this was a one time deal, she had a lot bottled up inside and today was just her breaking point."

"Do you believe that that is all?"

"Of course not Luke, but she is not giving me anymore details right now, so I am not going to tamper with her already fragile heart."

"Do you think that I should come over there and talk to her?"

"Do you want what I think or what you want to hear?"

"Haley has a shift tomorrow at the café; I will talk to her tomorrow. Thanks Brooke, you are an amazing friend."

She was a little disappointed with the last comment, but the year was still young, there was still time for Lucas to change his perception of her…and she was willing to wait.

Gavin had dragged Peyton to his brother Noah's apartment, she was in no state at all to be anywhere then her own bedroom, but Gavin was not the kind of boyfriend to care about the state of his girl. Noah was having a party, and Gavin was not affected enough to be out of it, he put Peyton in another room and went to party with his brother and his friends. He did not look out for Peyton at all and he did not see the guy that walked into the room that she laid on the bed unconsciously.

Lucas was still up when Karen came back from Tric, all he could do was think about two of the girls that he cared about the most. "I will bet you one choclately brownie that I can tell you what you are thinking about."

Lucas looked up at his mom and he had to smile, he loved his mom more then anyone in the world. He put her through a lot in the previous year and he knew how much it pained her to have moved in with Dan. When Lucas moved back home he realized his mistake. He went to live with Dan to get some incriminating evidence on him to help him and his mom, but upon his return home Lucas realized he hurt his mom more in the process. Karen was a good person, she never caused pain to another person, and Lucas had to think of his three friends: Haley, Brooke, and Peyton, Karen was more of a mother to all of them then their own. Some might wonder how some one could mother so many other children and still mother the one she brought into the world, easy she was Karen Roe, and that was enough.

"Bring on that brownie then."

Karen brought over a box of brownies that she brought from the café and sat down across from her son, "Is she okay, Lucas?"

Before he answered he looked at his mom, "I don't think so Ma. Brooke just called and said that Haley said that she was fine and that it was something that she had been building up, but I do not think that is it."

"Well Lucas, we are talking about Haley James, she is a pretty stubborn girl when it comes to someone else helping her out."

"I do not understand though why she does not let others help her out; it is not like it is a hassle."

"I know that Luke, but that is just her scar tissue, she has been hurt before and she afraid to let someone in and help her because she is afraid that it will happen again."

"But it won't Ma, I won't let it."

"And I know that, but if you cannot paint Haley her future she is not going to believe you."

"You are right. I am just going to have to accept that she might not accept my help right now. But I am not going to give up on her."

"That is all you can do Lucas."

"No, that is not all; I am going to make sure that she does not cry again."

"That is very noble on you son, but sometimes you just need a good cry, you cannot take that away from her. Just be there for her, if she needs to cry, then be the shoulder she needs, if she needs a laugh, crack a joke. If she needs to be alone, then be alone together."

"Haley still has a shift tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah at noon."

"Okay, well I am going to try and talk to her tomorrow."

"Okay Luke. But if she is not ready to talk, give her time, she does have a broken heart and she more fragile then you think. Be careful with that heart of hers."

By 2 a.m. the heartbroken and fragile members of Tree Hill were all asleep, all wishing that when the sun rose the next morning, it would bring a ray of happiness…even if that ray was small.


	4. Chapter 4

Mother Nature did not seem to be on the side of the brokenhearted, Haley rose out of bed when she did not see the sun shining through the window. She pulled back the curtains and saw raindrops making puddles on the sidewalk. And as if the raindrops were her own, teardrops fell from her eyes. When Haley turned back around she was not expecting to see Brooke staring back at her, she quickly brushed away her tears, "I am sorry, I did not mean to wake you," was all that she could say.

"You didn't," she said with a sad smile. Brooke silently had wished the night before that when Haley woke up the next morning, it would be tearless, but as Haley knew as well, you cannot always get what you want. Brooke lifted her sheets up, "Come here," she motioned for Haley to come.

At first Haley was hesitant, she did not really want someone to comfort her every time something went wrong, but this time she gladly went to Brooke's bed and got in. Brooke comforted Haley by playing with her hair, and Haley silently let her morning tears fall. Then out of the blue Haley spoke back to Brooke, "Last night before I went to sleep, I told myself that today would be a new day, and I could start all over if I wanted to. And I told myself that when I wake up and the sun is shining that everything is going to be okay. Brooke, why is every sign I get telling me that Nathan does not love me anymore, and to just give up?"

"Because you cannot really start over, you must keep living the life that you have been given. A life with all the mistakes and hardships, the tears, and sorrows. But you see Haley; it does not always stay that way, just look at all the good memories that you have to go with the sorrows. It is going to get better, do not let a rainy day alter that."

"It is hard not to. That was the only thing that I had going for me when I went to sleep. And if when I woke up this morning and the sun was shining in my eyes, it was some sort of sign telling me that it was a new day and wake up and greet it. But all I get is clouds to block my only glimpse of hope. It was my only hope," Haley rose after she spoke and got out of Brooke's bed and wiped her tears away. "Maybe I will just have to wait for another sign."

"Do not give up Haley. A little storm never ruined a person's day."

"How about at sea? It kills people sometimes."

"Only you would think of that. Fine, how about this one: a little rain never hurt anyone," Brooke looked at Haley and saw that she was going to retort once more, "Neither did a lot of rain, okay?"

"Fine, I am going to go take a shower, I have a shift at 12."

"Sounds like a plan Haley," as she was walking away, Brooke stopped her as she spoke again, "Accept that there are rainy days and there are sunny days, bad and good if you may. It cannot rain forever Hale, don't give up, maybe if you are lucky you will even get a rainbow."

Haley took what Brooke said to heart, she was a lot smarter then she let other see, Haley was grateful that their paths met and Brooke was there for her. She took what Brooke said a little to literal though, she opened the door and ran outside and accepted that it was a rainy day by throwing her arms up in the sky, "Bring it on, you cannot rain forever, I dare you to try," she yelled up to the sky.

Brooke heard noise outside and went to the window and saw who was making all the racket, she saw Haley embracing the rain falling from the sky, that was the first step, Brooke thought. She went to the bathroom closet and got a towel to greet Haley when she was done embracing the rain.

Haley closed her eyes and remembered her first kiss, her wedding, and the first time that she made love to Nathan, she closed her eyes tighter, never wanting to have that scene disappear. She was forced to open her eyes when she heard Brooke call her name, it was getting late and Haley had a shift to work.

Haley turned around and saw that Brooke had a towel awaiting her, she had to smile at Brooke, she was surprised when Brooke did not respond with one, but a concerned look, what could she possibly be concerned about now, she thought. Then she spoke and she wished she never went into the rain, "What happened to your neck, Haley?"

Haley completely forgot she had put makeup on her neck when she returned from Tric the night before. As she stood there embracing the rain, the makeup had began to wash away. When Brooke said neck she immediately put her hand to it, to some how try to cover it up. "Nothing, nothing happened," she said rushing pass an awaiting Brooke.

"Haley," she called out after her, but she gave up because she did not want to intrude any further, and she knew her to well to actually tell her.

Haley rushed into the bathroom and looked into the mirror; she put her hand to her neck to feel the damage that Gavin had done the night before. She was in a little disbelief with the extent of the marking on her neck. She decided that she could no longer stare at it without having flashbacks of what happened the night before.

Peyton was beginning to wake up and her head was killing her, she immediately put a hand to her head to some how stop the pain. With all the pain that she was feeling it took her a few minutes to realize that she did not have any pants on. She looked around the room for her pants, hoping that they had some how fallen off when she was restlessly sleeping. However, it was her body and it failed her, she knew that she had had sex the night before with the pain she was feeling now. She moved slightly and felt pain, she cried out a little bit. But there was something that was worse then the pain, it was the fact that she did not know who she had had sex with and if it was consensual. Peyton had changed from the person that she used to be but pain was still pain, and it was something that she was so used to feeling. Cocaine had taken the pain away, but as soon as she was done from the high she was feeling, she crashed far and hard, and the pain remained until she used something else to cover it.

Gavin came in the room and saw Peyton wrapped up in a ball a little more distraught then he normal saw her. He was used to seeing no emotions in the girl in front of him, "What happened to you?"

Peyton looked up at him, not knowing what to say, but she had to know, "Did we…did we…"

"Did we what Peyton, spit it out, I am not going to stand here all day guessing what you are going to say next."

"Did we have sex last night?"

"What? Why would you ask something like that?"

"Because I think I did."

"What do you mean you think you had sex last night? That is something that maybe you should be able to tell someone. You did or you didn't."

"I don't remember anything from last night Gavin," she looked around, confused to her whereabouts, "I couldn't even tell you where we are right now. Where the hell are we, Gavin?"

"Noah's. You were pretty out of it last night, so I brought you here so you could sleep it off. He was having a party, so I hung out with some of my friends."

"So you just left me in here, alone?"

"What did you want me to do? Watch you sleep?"

"You could have at least watched the door and made sure someone did not come in here and have sex with me. Yeah, you could have done that, that would have been nice Gavin," he did not like her attitude and he slapped her across her face. She brought her hand to her check and realized what she had actually been saying, she did not consent to having sex, and though she wasn't completely positive, she was a girl and it was her body, she knew that she had had sex, she was raped. "Did anything else happen last night, Gavin?"

"What do you mean other then you being a slut?"

"How dare you call me that? It was your fault that I was in the state that I was in. You should have been watching me and making sure I was not taking too much. You did not have to bring me here, if you did not then nothing would have happened last night. So don't try and put this on me Gavin."

"Fine, if you need to blame someone for your behaviors then sure blame me, but I was as much under the influence as you and I did not screw a stranger."

"You bastard," Peyton could not believe that he was really saying this to her, it was the most painful thing that anyone had ever said to her, and she had heard some pretty bad ones. She got up from the bed and found her pants and put them on.

Peyton tried to walk past Gavin, put he grabbed onto her arm stopping her right there, "Where do you think you are going?"

"Away from you, that is for sure. Now let go of my arm."

"After everything that I have done for you, you are not walking away from me."

"What are you going to do to me, Gavin? Or should I ask you what you could possibly do to me; I have been through enough in my life, that I no longer feel pain, so I will take you on."

Gavin let go, there was nothing that he could do to her, at least at the moment so he just let go of her, and moved on, "Do you remember anything from last night?"

"All I remember is we were at Tric, I also remember arguing with Brooke, she thinks that we are still friends," she laughed whole-heartedly.

"Is that all you remember?"

"Gavin, it sounds like you are trying to save your own ass. Did you do something last night that you do not want me to know about?"

"Nothing bad happened. I was just seeing if you remembered my run in with that James girl."

"What did you do now?"

"Wait; are you mad that I went after her? She came into the back room looking for me and I had to make sure that she didn't tell anyone what was going on."

"No, I am not mad. She hurt Nathan, she deserves to hurt."

"Wait, why do you care so much that Nathan has been hurt? Do you still have feelings for him?"

"No, he and I are just friends, and if someone messes with my friend, I have a problem with that. What did you do to her by the way?"

"Let's just say that she couldn't perform last night."

"Wait a second there was no show last night?" Peyton asked not really concerned about what Gavin did to Haley but rather that there was no performance at Tric last night, Karen was going to be mad when she found out.

"No, that is what I said. She just rushed out of the building, saying that she couldn't perform because something happened. Yeah something happened, my hand connected with her neck, ha."

Peyton was a little taken back with what she just heard; Gavin had his hand around her neck? Maybe that was a little more then she thought of, he could have seriously hurt her; Peyton just wanted Haley to be scared. "You didn't hurt her too bad, did you? You just scared her right?"

"What side are you on here, one second you are glad that I did something and then the next you are concerned that I hurt her. What is it that you want me to do?"

"I want her to hurt, but not necessarily physical pain."

"Well you seem to be a little picky in the subject, who says that you really have to right to choose?"

"I never said that Gavin, I want her to feel pain that is all, and whatever way she feels it, it will be okay with me. You happy now?" She saw him nod his head, "Okay, good, I am going to go to Karen's café and grab some food and then I am going to head home. You want to come with?"

"I will meet you at Tric later; I am going to stay with my brother for awhile."

"Okay, see you later then," she kissed him on the check and was out of there.

Haley emerged from the bathroom with makeup freshly applied to her war wounds, it you may. She went back into her room and saw that Brooke was back in bed. She quickly grabbed her things and left to go to Karen's.

Brooke was not really sleeping, but she did not know what else to do, Haley did not feel like talking and Brooke did not want to intrude another aspect of her life.

Haley had been working for only twenty minutes when she heard the bell ring and looked up to see who it was, and it looked like the cat dragged her in, it was Peyton in the same clothes she wore the night before. It was her job to be a waitress so she went over to Peyton as if they were strangers, at the point in both their lives now, one could say there were, "Can I help you?"

"Nope, I am just going to grab a seat at the counter."

"Suit yourself."

Peyton looked around, and then she spoke again asking Haley a question, "Is Karen around, I need to talk to her?"

"Yeah she is in the back, she will be right out. And what do you need to talk to her about anyways? How you were so wasted that you did not book a Friday night show again, and how I was forced to fill the time. Oh and then how I, Haley your only act ran out of there because her guitarist tried to kill her, wait I forgot you were not conscious to know anything that I am talking about. Karen will be right out, wait here."

"Wait Haley, Gavin told me that it was just a joke, no harm, no foul."

"Oh and you are going to listen to him the one who had his hand around my neck threatening my life if I told anyone what you were doing in the back room? That Gavin? Yeah, he seems really trustworthy." With that Haley walked away.

Peyton watched her walk away and saw her eyes sadden ever so slightly. Peyton just stared at her, finally seeing that Haley had a bruise to match her own. He must have really hurt her, she thought. She deserved it, right? Peyton conflicting thoughts were interrupted by Karen's voice, "Hi Peyton, Haley told me that you wanted to talk to me. I am glad to see that you were able to walk in here on your own two feet and not have to be dragged, like you were last night."

It took Peyton a few seconds to grasp what Karen had just said. She must have known that there was no show last night and she must have seen Peyton under the influence of cocaine. Peyton really didn't know where to go from there. "Umm…Karen I just wanted to apologize for last night."

"Do you know what you are apologizing for Peyton?" Karen asked looking at the girl in front of her, she was a mess, same clothes as she wore the night before, and knew nothing about the events in it. Karen did not want to be mean to Peyton, or harsh with her, but she also was not willing to just forget everything that happened the night before. Karen had been more of a mother figure to Peyton then anyone in the previous years and she never felt like it was a burden, but sometimes she just did not know what to do with her. Especially after last night, this was not the girl that missed her mother sometimes it caused her to cry or felt so alone in the world because her only family member was at sea. This was a completely different girl, and she was turning to things way worse then Karen could or would ever like to imagine.

"There was no show at Tric last night, I am sorry that I let you down."

"We did have an act though at one point, but one minute she goes looking for you and Gavin and the next she is on the verge of tears telling me that she cannot go on. I can't tell you what caused this to happen and I am pretty confident that you do not know either. I care about Haley and this is not like her, I am a little concerned," with the mention of Haley's name Peyton turned to look over at Haley and Karen saw this. "I care about you too Peyton, I care about you way too damn much to watch you ruin your life. You are so talented, and you have a good head on those shoulders of yours, but right now you are not making the best decisions, and I don't know why."

"There is just a lot going on right now, I am fine though, don't worry about me, you have other parents' kids to worry about."

"I am concerned for you Peyton, I have never in my 36 years of living seen someone in as bad of shape as you last night," with each event that Karen spoke of Peyton was becoming more and more embarrassed and confused and aware of what her last night consisted of.

"I…I…I do not remember anything from last night Karen, I really don't."

"Lucas said that your eyes were glazed, he thinks that you were high. I thought that the cocaine was a one time mistake, Peyton."

"It makes the pain go away Karen."

"So you don't have to think about it or deal with it, you can now just wake up the next morning having no idea what the last day consisted of?"

"Pretty much. Everything I ever used to feel was pain, now I feel nothing, and I like it a whole lot better."

"That isn't good Peyton, not at all. And if you don't do something quick, you are not going to have another tomorrow to wake up to trying to determine the events of the previous day. You do realize that, right?"

"It is a risk that I am willing to take."

"Well that risk that you are taking, is your life. I can only warn you so many times Peyton, there is only so much that I can do. Like I said, I care about you, but if you are not willing to listen or at least take in some of what I am saying, it is a lost cause. And I really hate to say that about someone of some much potential."

"With all the mother troubles and fiascos that I have had in my lifetime, you are the only one that has remained constant, and as much as I appreciate it, I think you have done your job already. You can just stop now; I am going to be okay."

"If that is what you believe then I am concerned for you."

Peyton completely changed subjects; she did not want to talk about herself any longer, "So what happened last night because there was no show?"

"I see you are avoiding the subject. So, we couldn't go on, those who wanted to drink or dance were allowed in at a lower price, but we did not say open as long as we normally do."

"Did you lose money?"

"Of course we lost money, you tell people that there is going to be a band and there isn't, a lot of people turn away."

"I will make it up to you Karen; you will get all the money that you lost back."

"Peyton, I do not want your money, I just want you to be more responsible and aware, you are lucky that Haley plays on such short notice or we would rarely have a Friday night act. You owe her a lot and Gavin or you did something to hurt her last night, and I do not know how that could happen after she has done so much for you. Maybe that is just me, but you have to look at her situation right now, she is going through a lot, the music is the only thing that keeps her going from time to time. Please do not take that away from her."

"I won't Karen."

"Well I hope that you stay true to your word, I have to get back to work, I will see you at Tric later night. And Peyton, I am always here if you need me, even if I do not approve of what you are doing; I just wanted to let you know that."

"Thanks," was all that she could really say, feeling nothing felt so much better then feeling pain, it would not be that easy to change her ways. And Haley hurt Nathan; there was not a switch to turn off that made her no longer mad at Haley. Peyton was unsure of a lot of things, but the only thing she was sure of was that it was only going to get more uncertain as she went.


	5. Chapter 5

Haley had been watching Peyton and Karen talk secretly behind the counter, she couldn't quite make out what they were talking about, but she knew that Karen had intervened once more. Karen was there for everyone else's kid no matter what, while some parents wouldn't give the time of day to help their own child in need. When Haley realized that the two were done talking it finally hit her that she was probably next, Karen really hadn't talked to her about the night before. There was no way that she could tell Karen what really had happened, she would overreact, make Peyton mad, and then Gavin would probably go after her, she had her life threatened enough for one week. But before Karen could even come to talk to her, Haley looked up as the bell rang and Lucas walked in. Lucas approached her and was about to speak, but Haley stopped him, "Whatever you are going to say, save it Luke."

He was a little bewildered by her harshness, "Haley, I just wanted to make sure that you are alright. Are you?"

Haley stopped everything that she was doing previously avoiding any eye contact to look directly into Lucas's eyes, "You want the truth Luke?" She saw him nod and then continued, "Not a day goes by that I do not hate myself for going on that tour bus."

As much as Lucas wanted to have the perfect response to that, he just did not have one, and he knew that Haley was not going to slow down for him to conjure one, so he just let her walk away. He turned around and saw his mom staring at him, "I came here to talk to her and that is all I get out of her. I just feel that she doesn't want to talk, there is something, that either happened or something blocking that does not allow her to open up anymore. She used to tell me everything, even crushes in the fifth grade to a time when Nathan made her cry. She never used to hold back from me, now she won't tell me anything. And I cannot help her if she doesn't."

"It is hard. And it is not a trust thing; I hope that you are not mad at her because she is not opening up to you. There is a lot of scar tissue that has built up that is surrounding her innermost thoughts, and she does not want them to be shown to the world. And she knows Luke that you would never do so, she is just afraid to say it out loud because the pain is real, and it is all that she feels."

"Okay, I will give her more time and space. But how much can you give some one before they are lost?"

"It has yet to be determined; you cannot stop watching her though, because she could easily slip away."

"I always watch after her, even when she doesn't know it. I can never sit back and watch my best friend get hurt. That is why I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that things get better as she goes."

"Remember what I told you Luke, she will come to you if this all becomes too much, she knows that you are there, even if she doesn't show it right now."

"Okay, I will take your word for it."

"That is all I have, Luke, you and my word, and it has gotten me to where I am today, so I am not leaving them behind."

"You better not, I would be lost with out you," he bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I love you Ma." Lucas was going to leave but then he saw Peyton sitting at the counter and walked over to her, "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"It is a free country; you can do what you want to do."

There had been some things on Lucas's mind lately that he had been thinking and he needed to get them out. Now couldn't have been better then any other time. Last night he was trying to comfort Brooke by telling her that it was just some sort of phase or such that she was going through, and she asked when the last time he had talked to Peyton. With his answer it meant that it was not his place to tell Brooke anything. Lucas and Peyton had been really close at one point, but both went through some life altering events and their paths had not passed in a long time. However after the events of the last night Lucas decided that it was time to break that vow of silence. "Gavin is not a good guy Peyton; I do not think that you should see him anymore."

Peyton was baffled by Lucas, "Wait a second when is the last time that we have talked about anything real? You know what I am going to answer that for you, way too damn long for you to walk over here and tell me that you do not approve of my boyfriend. So if you do not mind I think I am going to go home," when she tried to walk past him, he grabbed her arm gently and she sat back down.

"Actually I do mind. I came over here to talk to you, that was my intention and I do not plan on breaking it. So home can wait for now, it will always be there, with the rate that you are going we can not say the same for you."

"Wait is this Karen/Lucas tag team? Your mom just gave me the talk about how she will always be here for me whatever mistake I make next. What can you possibly tell me that is reassuring or going to make things better?"

"I do not have the answers Peyton, and I did not come over here to tell you that I have them. I just wanted to talk to you and see where you are coming from."

"I don't know Luke, you tell me. I can tell you literally I just came from Noah's," she recognized his confused face right away and clarified, "that is Gavin's brother apparently, he has never talked about him before but that is where I woke up this morning."

"Did something happen last night?" He recognized that as she spoke of it something seemed off.

"I do not know Lucas, did something happen last night?"

"Yeah, it did, but I was not talking about at Tric, I was talking at Noah's. Did something happen there?"

"No, something did not happen there," she looked into his eyes, his kind gentle eyes, and felt obligated to tell him the truth, "Honestly I don't really know what happened last night so I can't tell you."

"That is not good Peyton. It is not good to wake up and not know where the hell you are or what happened."

"Sorry? What do you want me to do, apologize? Tell you that it won't happen again. Because I can't do that, I know that that is not something that is going to happen. I am a lost cause Luke, give up on me now…please just do it."

"Nope, not going to happen, even as much as you want it to happen, it is not. I do not back away from those that I care about."

"Oh should I feel honored? Lucas Scott actually cares about me," she mocked him, it was her character to do so, but she was not in the right mind state to accept it and move on. At the present time she did not want any help, she just wanted to go on with what she was doing. Everything had worked out leading up to this moment, so why should you change a good thing? Well not good, just better, I suppose. "Luke, please just cross me off your list, I do not need your help, I am doing just fine."

"I will only agree with you if you are telling me that throwing your life away is doing fine. Because I really do not agree with you, you are not the Peyton that I knew and…"

"And what? Dated…even loved? What are you trying to tell me Lucas? Please save your bullshit. I am who I am, take it or leave it. People keep telling me I am a different person, but I don't see it like that. I am the same. The world and people in it are the ones who are different. I have not turned into something that I am not, like other people. Hmmm…Haley for example."

"Leave her out of it, you have done enough damage, you have hurt her enough. And you know what, she never did a damn thing to you, other then be nice and accept you for who you are."

"Well since I don't seem to know it, who am I Lucas? Please enlighten me."

"That is not something that I can tell you."

"Are you sure? Because I think that everyone else knows who I am better then I know myself. So please Lucas, do not tell me that Haley accepted me for the way I am, there was no way that she could do that if we cannot classify who I am."

"Fine, but she never did anything to you that would cause you to treat her the way that she has been being treated."

"She got on a fucking tour bus and left her husband," Peyton said louder then she intended and everyone in the café including Haley turned and heard. Then she said quieter to Lucas, "Is that not enough?"

Lucas looked around at all the people staring in their direction, but only one set of eyes meant anything to him, and those were sad eyes, hurt eyes, and they were Haley's. For a minute their eyes were locked and then Haley left and went into the back room. Lucas turned back to Peyton, "That is not someplace that you belong Peyton. Whatever happened between Nathan and Haley does not involve you; you have no place making Haley pay for some mistake that she made. She has already been feeling her own pain for what happened."

"Nathan is my friend, she hurt him, and she needs to hurt as well."

Lucas was actually quite shocked that Peyton would say that nevertheless think that, "She hurts everyday Peyton, have you seen her smile since she has been back, have you seen her smile once?" Lucas stared at her when she didn't respond; he asked her again, "Have you? Have you?"

"No. But she deserves it. She left him. That is not something that he can just forgive."

"Peyton, no one deserves the pain that she feels everyday. How do you think it would feel to have to live with the fact everyday that you made a mistake and have to feel the pain and wrath of it? She has had her share of pain Peyton; I just didn't realize how much she was feeling until now."

"I haven't done anything to her, Luke."

"How do you know that? You don't remember what happened last night."

"Nice Lucas, nice, hit me when I am down."

"And even if it wasn't you that is causing her a little more pain daily, your ass of a boyfriend isn't exactly nice to her. I really cannot believe that you would stoop that low. I thought you were better then that."

"Well apparently you thought wrong."

Lucas looked at Peyton and when he did he did not see her as a former friend, one he once dated, he saw her as a lost cause, some one so far gone into the worst of worlds. He looked at her and instead of seeing pain he saw a failed attempt to cover up the aftermath of a night she could not remember. He saw a lost little girl in the world of evil. And he saw someone he might not be able to save, "I guess I did."

Peyton watched as Lucas got up from his seat and just left her there alone with her uneaten food. She really was a lost cause; there was no one left that could pull her out of the hell that she was sucked into. She pushed everyone away with her words; nevertheless she never imagined that they were really not coming back.

Lucas headed to the back room, he knew that Haley was not very reciprocal earlier but he was hoping that something was triggered and she wanted to talk about it. However, Karen had beaten him to it, just barely though. Haley had her back to them and she was trying to not break down, trying not to let the words that Peyton said get to her. But they were so true, and each word hurt so deep. Karen took a step towards her and then placed a gentle hand on Haley's shoulder. This actually startled her, so Karen attempted to comfort her with her words, "Haley, sweetheart, things are going to get better."

These words caused Haley to turn around, "When?" she was more distraught at this moment then upset, "when are things going to get better? Because I cannot see the future, but I can honestly tell you that they are not getting better anytime soon. And to tell you the truth, I do not know how much more time I am willing to wait…until things 'get better.' There is only so much pain that one person can endure from a mistake they made."

"Nathan is just taking time to recover."

"Are you siding with him, Karen?"

"No, of course I am not. I am just saying that he is not expected to greet you with open arms after you left him."

"But I came back. Why isn't that enough? I came back…" it pained her because she did not understand how this could be going on for so long. She had been back from the tour for almost two months, two months, and there was not one day that it did not hurt to get up. After complete silence in the room because no one knew how to respond, Haley spoke again, "I was never expecting him to greet me with open arms, I know I hurt him. But he told me to leave; he made me choose between my love for music and my love for him, that isn't fair. I did not leave on that tour bus because I did not love him, I left because I did. I was able to bring in money to contribute to our family. I called him, he did not pick up, I left him messages, he never responded. He was the one that gave up on us, on everything that we had made together. If I had known that me going on that bus would have led to where I am now, I would have never stepped a foot on it. Knowing that this was the pain I would feel every second of the day, I would rather be dead."

"Haley, please do not say that…you have so much to live for."

"Yeah? Please enlighten me."

"Your music, your education, those that care for you so much, your intelligence, and service, your…"

"Stop it, stop it, please I don't want to hear anymore. You know why?" She did not even wait for a response, "Because the only thing worth living for…I don't have." She recomposed her self, brushed away her unshed tears and spoke before Lucas or Karen had a chance to speak, "Well if you would excuse me, I have customers waiting for me," again she did not give a chance for response, she walked past them both and made her way over to her customers as if nothing had ever happened.

"Well I think we are two for two today."

"Neither of them want to change the way that they are living, they are both feeling pain and aren't willing to live with it any longer. They are both ending up on paths that they would have never have taken. And it is not the right path at this moment in time. I don't know what to tell you Lucas, all I know is that they are more alike then they will ever know."

"I think we are just going to have to give them time, there is only so much pain that one can take, they will not be able to take it anymore, and when that happens, hopefully they will turn to someone to help them."

"You know them to well to know the truth though."

"Well I hope I am wrong for another time today."

"Me too," she looked at her son, where has the girls in his life turned to? She was unsure, just hoping that something or someone would intervene soon. "I have got to get back to work, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"Thinking…and then I am going to come to Tric tonight, Jimmy Eat World is a good band, sometimes people surprise you with rare talent, and I like that."

"I hope so, we need as many people as we can get, and we lost a lot of money last night. I do not know how we are going to make it up."

"We will think of something Ma, we always do. I will talk to you later; call me if there are any breakthroughs in either of them."

Lucas walked out of the back room and saw that Peyton had left the café and her food was uneaten, he really wished that he could go after her and take her away from her hell. But they were at a stand still, and he accepted that. Lucas looked over at Haley, she was not happy, and it pained him to see him like that. But again, it was a standstill and he could not go over there and tell her what he wanted to, so he just walked out of the café, and headed to the first place he could think of.


	6. Chapter 6

Peyton walked home from the café and it took her nearly an hour, but Peyton made it home safe and sound, and she had to laugh at that, there was no way that she was safe in the world that she was living in. She stumbles up her stairs, just wanting to make it to the bathroom, take off all of her clothes, and then burn them. She made it to the bathroom and put the water on as hot as it would go, she could see the steam coming out, and then she knew she was ready. She tore off her clothes and stepped into the scalding hot water, it burned her skin but she couldn't even feel it.

Haley was not a quitter; last night was a mistake, which is all. Gavin was not going to make her quit the only thing that she had left to love. Karen asked her if she would open tonight for Jimmy Eat World, how could she pass that up? So after her shift she headed upstairs to Tric, where she needed to rehearse. She knew that she was at least an hour early, but she did not even care. Haley wanted, she needed, to be alone right now. She went on stage and just stood there, looking out at the empty room, just remembering every single one of her tour dates, and remembering everyone's face looking back at her. But then it hit her, she snapped out of her trance, the only person that she ever wanted to be looking back at her, was no where to be found. The only place that she could see him was in her heart, and at the point in time it was broken in a million pieces, and Nathan's face was shattered with her heart. She sat down at the piano and just stared at the keys for a solid minute and then out of her control her fingers traced the keys and began to play. She sang the song that was permanently in her head, the song that put her to sleep every night, Elsewhere, it was the first time that she sang in front of anyone, and it was Nathan. It was the only thing that she had between him and her, the only thing that was left.

Gavin was still at Noah's when his phone rang, he looked down and vaguely recognized the number, but he answered it anyways. "Hello," he was the rudest man alive at this time and place.

"Is this Gavin?"

"Yeah, who is this? And why are you calling my number?"

"Hi Gavin, this is Karen…from Tric."

"Oh it is you. Did you call me to yell at me some more, because what happened last night with miss no talent was not my fault. Just because she had stage fright, I did not cause that."

"I am not calling about last night Gavin," there was so many more things that she wanted to tell him, especially about the way that he was treating Haley, but she needed something out of him, and she did not need anymore arguments, "I am calling about tonight. I have asked Haley back to open for Jimmy Eat World, and I was wondering if you were able to do guitar."

Gavin really could not stand Haley, but if he had to work tonight at least he could harass her more, and he needed the money, cocaine is not cheap, "Yeah, I am available tonight. What time is she practicing so I can be there?"

"She has a shift until 4, so I was thinking around 5, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, that is okay with me. I will see you later."

"Thank you…and Gavin?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night is done; I am not going to think about it anymore, so whether or not something happened between you and Haley it is over with, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye."

"Bye."

Gavin looked down at his watch it was 2, he still had three hours to spare. He looked at his brother and pulled out some coke, they spent the next hour sniffing and inhaling. Then Gavin got up to leave, but his brother stopped him, "Larry told me that he got some of your girlfriend's ass last night, I just thought that I would tell you."

"That bitch, she is going to get it."

"Yeah, that is what I thought, and I thought that you might want to know."

"Thanks man. I will talk to you later. Peace out."

Gavin left his brother's and then headed towards Peyton. He had a car and Peyton

didn't use hers when she was with him, so he knew that she must have walked home, and it would take her awhile. It did not take him that long to get there, but that might be for the fact that his foot was glued to the wheel. The cocaine was deep into his system, he was losing control over most aspects and parts of his body. He arrived at Peyton and barely made it into her driveway; he was halfway on the lawn. Gavin just went straight into her house, she never locked it, and she really did not care if a random stranger would come into her house in the middle of night. To tell you the truth, she would prefer it, then at least some one would be in her home. Yes, that is wrong, but there was no one in her home, her heart, or anywhere else. Gavin started calling her name, he did not hear a response, but he heard the shower going. He just walked straight in, no bother to knock; it would probably scare her more.

Peyton was actually startled that some one just burst in and emerged in the bathroom where she was naked. "Gavin, what are you doing?" she asked startled.

"I came to see you, what other reason would I be here?" he pulled back the curtain to reveal her.

She quickly covered herself, and tried to pull the curtain back, she did not know if she was more mad or upset, "What the hell are you doing?"

He was stronger then her, even under the influence and he pulled the curtain back again to reveal her, "My brother told me that his friend Larry got to see you last night, and I think that since I am your boyfriend I have the same liberty."

"So I did have sex last night, and his name was Larry?"

"Yeah, good choice, he is a real catch," he told her sarcastically.

"I cannot believe that you would even say that, I did not want to do it Gavin. And if you had been watching out for me then it wouldn't have happened."

This angered him again, and he tried to advance, "Do not talk to me like that."

"Gavin, please just pull back the curtain, let me get changed and then we can talk."

"Fine," he violently pulled back the curtain and left slamming the door in the process. Peyton knew that he had already had drugs today, he was starting early. And this was not a good sign for every and anyone in his upcoming path.

Peyton regained her composure and walked into her room, where she found Gavin looking through all of her things, "What the hell are these pieces of crap?" he asked holding up at least half a dozen of her artworks.

"Oh nothing, just my life, that is all."

"Well then you must have a pretty shitty life, because these are pretty shitty as well," he said throwing them down.

"Thank Gavin, I appreciate it so much," she pretended that she didn't care but the drawings were her life, the only thing that she was good at, and he was tearing them apart, causing her to be even more confused on her status in this life. She made her way to her closet so that she could change. From inside she spoke to him, "What are you doing here anyways, I thought that you said that you didn't want to come over?"

"That Karen lady called and said that Hallie or what the hell her name is is opening for Jimmy Eat World tonight and she wanted me to play as well."

"Damnit, I totally forgot about Jimmy Eat World, I booked them at least two months ago."

"What is the big deal? They are coming tonight, you already got them here, and there is nothing else that you need to do."

"Yeah there is, there are tons of things that I have to do, you see the artists have something called a writer, and I have to get everything on that list or they will not play." She looked at her clock, "shit, I don't have much time, what time do you have to be at Tric?" she asked coming out of the closet in a new outfit.

"5, so that is why I came here, I wanted to hang out with you before I had to deal with you know who," he came over to her and put his arms around her waist, touching her all over, a little more then she wanted at that moment in time, especially after the experience that she had last night.

"Stop it," he did not listen to her, he just held on harder and longer, "Gavin, stop it, I mean it," with that she started to pound her hands on his chest in self-defense. She had never seen anyone move so fast, within seconds of saying that she was on the floor from the impact of his hand on her cheek.

"Stop telling me what to do Peyton. I shouldn't even be here with you right now, especially after what you did last night."

She rubbed her cheek hoping that the sting would go away, though it didn't she did not seem to care any longer; she was more concerned about the words that were coming out of Gavin's mouth. "What I did last night? Are you really telling me that? You are supposed to be my boyfriend, you should have saw that I was not in the right state to be anywhere but in my bed and then take me home. But no, you took me to your brother's house, one I did not even know that you had a brother let alone that he lived around here. And since you did not take me home, you decided that it would be okay to let to lay in a bed where a complete stranger can have his way with me."

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You are my girlfriend and you slept with another guy."

"I never consented Gavin," with that her voice cracked even though she did not ask it to, she did not want to show emotion in front on him, then he would win.

"I don't care, it still happened, and it is going to take me a little bit to get over this. Are you going to be still around when I am done waiting or are you just going to be in bed with Lucas?"

"Why the hell would you bring Lucas into this?"

"You should have seen him last night; I think that he still loves you."

"What are you talking about? Lucas and I were together a long time ago, and anyways he is with Brooke right now, or at least they are trying to be."

"Well I guess then he is trying to play the both of you. He told me to take you home; that you were in no state to be anywhere else, ha, what the hell does he know?"

"Apparently a lot more then you do."

This did not make Gavin any happier; he bent down and grabbed her by her collar, Peyton kicking the whole time, "What the hell are you going to do to me Gavin? Bring it on, I dare you," she was defying everything that he wanted her to be.

He just held her up, her still struggling, but there was nothing more that he could do to her, she had been through enough pain that it was no longer worth it, trying to torture her. He let her drop; he did not want her telling him what to do anyways. He had so many more places that he could be right now; he did not care about what his girlfriend had to say. "Do not tell me what to do. You better be careful though, someday your wish may be my command," he said to Peyton who was lying out on the ground. "Go do your writer thing and then meet me at Tric later. I am going to make sure this is that Haley girl's last night."

This actually scared Peyton, no she was not Haley's biggest fan right now, but she feared anything that Gavin could do to her. She just hoped that Haley was stronger then her, or she was going to get a lot more heartache.


	7. Chapter 7

Lucas had made it to the only place that he could think of at the moment, his brother's house. And when he said brother's house, it was also the home owned by his own birth father. Nathan -- more then Lucas even -- never wanted to be like Dan, nevertheless at the present time, Nathan was more like Dan then anyone would have ever have imagined. Dan hurt the women in his life that he claimed to love, and Nathan was doing the same thing with Haley. When Dan heard that Haley was back in Tree Hill, he happened to be the first person to see her. Lucas remembered that night vividly, it was the first time that he had seen his best friend so weak and in so much pain. And it was the first time that he couldn't do anything about it.

_Haley had just gotten off of the bus; she was finally back in Tree Hill, ready for things to go back to some normalcy. Not that many people knew that she was coming back; in fact the only person that she told was Lucas, who then told Karen. Lucas had offered to pick her up at the bus stop, but she told him that there was something that she needed to do first, and she needed to do it alone. She made it to Nathan's house, since she left him, he had moved back in with his father. Haley rang the door bell, and the worst possible thing that could happen, happened. Dan answered the door, "I didn't know that they came to the door now."_

_Haley's whole world crumbled slightly, but she could not falter, she still had to get through a conversation with Nathan about where they stood, "Mr. Scott, this is none of your business, but the only person that I have ever made love to was your son, and we were married. We still are."_

"_Are you so sure about that? When is the last time that you spoke with your husband, Haley?"_

"_He hasn't been responding to my messages. But I am here now, and that is all that matters. I did not come here to talk to you; I want to see my husband."_

"_I am not quite sure that he wants to see you. Did you not get the hint when he did not return your calls? That means that he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't want to have anything to do with you."_

"_That isn't true. I know he was upset that I left."_

"_Upset? He was devastated, you broke his heart. And I can honestly not tell you why he cared so much that you were gone; he just got his freedom back."_

_Haley cut him off, "I do not know what you are implying Mr. Scott."_

"_Who gets married at 17 and thinks that the love and marriage is going to last forever. You were way to naïve. My son is a basketball star; there is no room for a wife in his future. I think that it would just be better if you left."_

"_No, I came to see Nathan. Nathan, you know my husband. We did not get married as a joke and spit the scarcity of marriage in the face. We got married with the intention that we would be together forever."_

"_Nothing lasts forever, Haley. Your marriage with my son is over, he no longer loves you, he has moved on."_

_If Haley was not in the presence of Dan Scott she would have crumbled to ground with his words and get in a ball and sobbed. Nevertheless, Dan Scott was the most evil man that she had come across, and as much as he tried to hurt her with her words, she knew that he was not always truthful. "I want Nathan to tell me that, and then I will leave."_

"_What do you not understand little girl? Nathan never really loved you."_

"_You are lying. He recited vows to me telling me that we would be together even if the beach was to wash away, and that is not something that you just say to someone that you supposedly love. It takes a long time for a beach to wash Mr. Scott."_

"_Oh is that true? What did you tell him then?"_

"_I told him that I would love him forever, and I meant it. I never stopped loving him, vows are vows and I have no intention of breaking them."_

"_Did you vow to never leave him as well? Or did you vow to go run off on tour with a sleaze ball and have sex with a man that is not your husband?"_

"_I never had sex with Chris Keller, and that is no way your business. I want to see Nathan, and if you do not get him, I will get him myself."_

"_Wait a second; I need to look after my son here. He marries you claiming that he loves you, you the same, and then only a few months into the marriage you go off on tour with out him for two months. Then you think that you can come back after all that time has passed, and things just go back to normal? Have you no heart at all?"_

_Though she was trying to be strong, the words that this man was saying in front of her were tearing her heart into pieces, "He told me to leave," with each word her world crumbled, and Dan Scott, being the man he was took advantage of her pain._

"_Oh is Haley going to cry now? Can you not take the truth?"_

"_You are not worth my tears; now let me in so I can talk to Nathan."_

"_He is not in here."_

"_You have got to be kidding me, you berate me this entire time and Nathan is not even here. This was a waste of time, you were right, I should have never had come here thinking that things would just go back to normal."_

"_So you are admitting that it was all a mistake? Our whole entire relationship wasn't worth it?" Nathan said from behind her, "Then what the hell are you doing here? Because you left me Haley, I never told you to get on that bus, I never made you leave. That was all your doing, you walked away from me, you walked away from us."_

_Haley couldn't believe it, Nathan was standing right behind her, she turned around as he spoke and tried to not let the words that he was speaking get to her, because she was going to defend herself, but with each word he spoke, she became weaker._

"_I do not even know if you are back in Tree Hill for good or just another gig. And to tell you the truth right now, I hope it is the latter," she was completely crushed. "And I hope that you did not come here thinking that I would just let you back into my arms, because you sure as hell was mistaken. When you got on that bus, you did not only leave me, your husband, you left any chance of reconciliation."_

_This was the first time that she spoke, and it was hard to even form words, she looked into his eyes, and they were not the same eyes that she would stare into as they lay in bed together, they were full on anger, and it really scared her. "I love you," she fought inside to figure out what to say to him, anything, anything at all to respond to what he had just told her, but those three words were the only thing that came to her mouth._

"_Well then there is one of us."_

_Haley broke down, there in front of the two Scotts, how could he possibly make her feel so much pain? If he had ever loved her at all, he would have never had done this to her, it hurt to even speak, but she did anyways, pain was all she felt, "Are you saying that we are through? That you don't love me anymore?" tears spilt down her cheeks, pained that she just asked those two questions._

"_I don't know Haley. I just don't know. You have been gone for two months, two months. And though I never stopped loving you, I do not know if I can tell you right now that I feel the same about you as the day that we got married. And as to us, I don't know either. I am just going to need some time, time to get over the pain that you caused me. If you are willing to give me that time, then maybe there is still a chance for us. But I wouldn't hold your breath."_

"_And you thought I was lying, naïve girl," Dan Scott had the nerve to hit her while she was down. "He doesn't love you, move on, there has got to be someone out there that wants to be with someone who breaks their heart. Just you wait and find them."_

"_Dad," Haley actually thought that he was going to defend her, or tell Dan to stop, but he did nothing of that sorts, "I am sorry that I didn't listen to you."_

_I am sorry that I didn't listen to you. Did he really just say that? And to what extent was he talking about? With tears running down her cheeks, with no intention of wiping them away, she spoke, "You were right, I was naïve. I was naïve to think that my husband that said the most beautiful vows to me would follow through. I was naïve to think that 'always and forever' was in fact that long. Maybe I was just naïve enough to think that you loved me as much as I loved you. But then again I was too naïve to know the difference." With that she walked_ _past Nathan, she walked past the only one that she had loved so much that it hurt, she walked past the one person that had ever made her cry, and she walked past the one she loved the most. _

_Haley was distraught; she didn't know what to do now. Her parents were half way across the country, she had no place to stay, it was late at night and it was beginning to rain. She picked up the phone and dialed the number of the only person that she had left to count on. And though she tried to stop the tears, they continuously flew as Lucas answered his phone, "Hales? Is that you?"_

"_Can you come pick me up? I have no place else to go."_

"_Haley, what happened? Are you okay?"_

"_Luke, can you please come get me, I don't want to be alone anymore."_

"_Yeah, yeah, where are you Hales? I will be right there."_

"_Umm…I am in front of your mom's café. Please come get me."_

"_I will be right there, be careful Hales, it is getting dark and it is unsafe."_

_What he didn't know was that it wasn't the world that was unsafe it was the people inside of it struggling each day. Haley just stood there as the rain came pouring down, it was as if she had never felt it touch her face. She was drenched when Lucas made it in front of his mother's café. He was shocked to see Haley just standing there in the rain, she looked so lost. Lucas quickly got out of the truck and ran towards her, his first intention was to get her out of the rain into his truck, but when he saw her, he completely embraced her, and she fell apart. He hadn't seen her in two months, but he was still her best friend, and it hurt him to see her like this, especially the first time he had seen her in a long time. Haley was sobbing so hard that Lucas thought that she was going to break. He lifted her up and opened the café door and placed her down on one of the sofas. Lucas went into the back and got some towels and brought them back to his shivering friend. He wrapped her up in one of them and just held her tight, he held her as if he was never going to see her again, and he held her as he was never going to let her go. She never said good-bye to him, and as it hurt Nathan, it hurt Lucas as well, he felt like he lost his best friend. But he got over it easier then Nathan did, and still loved Haley for the person that she was, even if she struggled to determine that._

_After what seemed like hours, Haley spoke for the first time, "He doesn't love me anymore Lucas. Nathan does not love me."_

_Lucas did not know where all of this was coming from, so he asked her, "Hales, Hales, why are you saying this? Where is this all coming from?"_

_He watched as his best friend looked up into his eyes, almost telling him that it was too hard to even form words right now, that the reason that it was true was because Nathan had said it to her face. He looked back into her eyes and he held her tighter as he brushed away her tears. After what seemed like a century was only 10 minutes, Haley finally told Lucas of what had happened, from how Dan basically insinuated that she was prostitute to Nathan telling her that any chance of reconciliation was slim. "That bastard."_

"_Which one," she had to ask him, because honestly as much as she loved Nathan with everything that her heart had to offer, he hurt her worst then anyone had ever done. And she did not know how to react to that._

"_Dan is a bastard, which is a known fact, but Nathan, for him to not even falter as he hurts you with his words, I do not even know what to say to that."_

"_But I deserved this Lucas, I left him, it hurts that he doesn't love me anymore, but there is no reason that he should after what I did to him."_

"_What you did to him? Haley, you left him to pursue your dreams, and for him not to recognize that, for him to not support you, he is not being the husband that he needs to be to you. He needs to support you in all of your dreams and passions."_

"_I left him Luke, that is all that he sees."_

"_He should see how happy you are when you are on that stage, he should see the talent that you possess, and he should be happy with it."_

"_I am not happy with out him in my life, and if that means that he is not in my life as a singer, then I am not happy as a singer."_

"_No Haley, you love to sing, it is your passion. You should not have to give up anything to be with the one that you love."_

"_All I love is him, Luke. And all I want is for him to love me back. But right now it hurts too much to do anything. I do not know how I am going to make it through a day, it is too hard to go to sleep knowing that I was the cause of him stop loving me."_

"_Haley, he cannot just shut off his love for you, please, you have got to know that he loves you, he is never going to stop. And as much as it is hard for you to believe it right now, he is going to come around and love you even more."_

"_He told me not to waste my breath waiting for him, how can I go on knowing that he does not believe in reconciliation?"_

"_You have to go on Hales, you have to, and you have to for me. I would be lost with out you and I love you too much for you to ever leave."_

"_I am sorry that I hurt you when I left. Nathan made me choose and the way he was going at it was that he didn't want to be with me anymore, that he did not love me, so I ran, I ran away from coming to realization that I hurt him. That is why I did not say goodbye, I was on a whim, the bus was leaving, and there was nothing else that I had time left to do. But I called him Lucas, I called him everyday for the first month, I sent him emails telling him how the tour was going and that I have never loved anyone more then I loved him. He never responded to one email, to one phone call. He never responded to me."_

_Before Lucas had a chance to even speak, he had to turn his head because he heard the bells on the door ring, he looked and saw his mom, "I say the light on, and I got concerned," she walked over to the couch and it was not until then that she saw a tiny, broken Haley in Lucas' arms. She bent down, "Oh no, Haley, sweetheart, what happened?"_

_Haley looked into the eyes of the one of the most caring persons in the world, and broke down again, there was nothing left for her to do, but let the pain that she was still feeling flow out once more. Lucas let up his grip on her and allowed Haley to go into Karen's arms. Karen held her as a mother would; rubbing her back, soothing her, telling her that is was going to be okay. Karen looked up into her son's eyes, and she saw a tear about to fall. He wanted to be strong, he did not want to let the tear fall. But it hurt Lucas too much to see his friend in this state, and there was nothing that he could even do to make the pain go away, so he left the tear fall. He let it fall for her._

That was two months ago, two months and his best friend was still struggling each day. He had faith in his brother that he would not allow his best friend to hurt this much, but he was wrong. It hurt Haley to wake up each morning because as much as it could be the day that Nathan turned around, she knew that it was more likely for it to just be like all the rest, alone. Lucas knocked on the door, he hated this house, he hated the people in it, but what he hated the most was that he was unavoidably one of them.

Lucas was relieved when Nathan answered the door, rather then his own father. Nathan and Lucas had been really close at one point, but at the present time it is just as amicable as possible. Today though Nathan was not Lucas's brother, Nathan was the guy that was stepping over his best friend's heart. Today, Nathan was Lucas's enemy. "Lucas, what are you doing here?"

"We need to talk Nate, and this is important."

"What do we possibly need to talk about, Luke?"

"Can I come in; this might be a long talk."

"What happens if I do not have time for a long talk?"

"You are going to make time."

"What is so important?"

"Do I really even need to tell you man? The sad thing is that I think that I do, you remember someone, yeah her name is Haley. Haley James, your wife. Do you remember her? She is that important."

"I do not have time for this right now Luke. I am meeting someone."

"Well I am sorry but right now the only thing that matters is that my best friend, your wife, wakes up every single morning with tears in her eyes. And the only reason she makes it out of bed at all is for the slight glimmer of hope that she has that today will be the day that you love her again. She doesn't think that you love her anymore. How can you live knowing that Haley can barely make it out of bed each morning to face the day?"

"Lucas, this is not your place, you need to just stay out of it."

"Oh, I have. I have for two months straight. But she cannot hurt anymore, she is just too fragile. And I am afraid if I don't do something then she is going to break. And there might not be anything that I am going to be able to do, but I am not stopping until there are no more options left. She means way too much to me to see her in pain each day. I just thought that maybe you would feel the same way. But I was wrong."

"She hurt me, she left me all alone."

"To pursue her dream, man. She wanted to pursue her dream, how dare you say that she left you all alone. It was not like she left you to be with someone else, and now she wants you back. You know that is not what happened. She left to pursue something that she loved almost as much as she loved you. You are selfish not to support her; you are selfish not to be there for her. You are selfish not to love her as much as she loves you."

"I never stopped loving her."

"Really? Because you sure have a hell of a way to show her. Haley does not know that, she wakes up thinking that you have, she wakes up alone."

"It is just too hard right now."

"Right now? It has been two months. And to tell you the truth, I have seen Haley and I have seen you, there is no way in hell that she hurt you as much as you have hurt her. I understand she left you and went on tour for two months, but it was not like she did not try to talk to you. She has been back for two months and you have yet to say anything to her other then that first night. Those words are permanently embedded in her head, there is not one moment in the day that she does not think that she hurt you and that you do not love her anymore for it."

"I still love her."

"Well she doesn't know that, maybe you should do a better job of showing that. Support her, why don't you? Let her know that you love her, so that maybe, just maybe she wakes up and there are not tears in her eyes because you are not there."

"I need time."

"You are selfish, you need time? Time is what has put you where you are at; time is not your friend. Time is your enemy, and if you don't watch out time is going to the end of any chance that you and Haley have at getting back together."

"Does she really wake up each morning with tears in her eyes?"

"I cannot believe that you even have to ask. Nathan, she loves you, she loves you more then anyone in this world. And you are not there with her right now; I would be surprised if she woke up with out them."

"I do not want her to be upset over this."

"Are you kidding me? Do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth? Just because you want something to happen, does not mean that it is just going to magically work out. She is more then upset, she is devastated, and she is in pain. And the only person left to help her out is you. As much as I hate saying that it is true. I am her best friend and I cannot even help her out of this depression that she is in."

"I do not know what to tell you right now."

"You don't have to tell me anything. Haley is opening for Jimmy Eat World tonight at Tric, maybe you can be there for her. I really do not think that is much to ask. But then again, I have been wrong about a lot of things concerning you. The main one was me believing that my brother would never hurt my best friend."

* * *

hey dudes, i am going to be out of town until the 15th. i was wondering if you all liked this story. i have it completed already, it is quite long, and i promise you it goes some where. this is the first time i have let anyone else see my story, i just wanted to know how you all felt, and if you wanted me to continue to share my story. peace out dudes. 


	8. Chapter 8

Gavin had gone all over town just killing some time, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, and time was the only thing that he had left in his way. He had to meet Haley at 5, he looked at the clock in the car, and it read: 4:23. He couldn't wait any longer; he parked his car and headed to Karen's Café. When he walked in, he noticed that Karen had a disappointed look on her face to see him. He walked over to her, "Don't worry, I am not here to see you. I am looking for Hallie."

"Haley? And to tell you the truth with the damage that you have caused, I rather you be here for me."

"Sorry, you are a little old and motherly for me."

Karen was totally disgusted and appalled. And she could not believe that this was the one that Peyton was dating; this is who she had resorted to. Karen knew that Peyton had trouble in the 'I love you' category, but Gavin? Gavin one name? This is who she is with? As much as it hurt her to say it, Karen wished that Peyton was alone, it was better then being with a guy that treats her like shit. "Haley is upstairs, her shift it over."

"Okay, well it was nice talking to you. Good luck with that younger guy thing, and I will see you later."

Karen did not even respond to him, she just let him walk away. Only because she could not see the future and she did not know what was yet to come.

Gavin walked upstairs and heard someone singing; he made it over to the stage and saw Haley on the keyboard singing away. He could see tears coming out of her eyes. Gavin let Haley finish her song and then when she was done he applauded her, "Bravo, bravo, way to go. And to imagine you left the tour with a voice like that."

Gavin startled Haley when he started clapping at her, she did not know what to do, she did not want to be in this situation right now, she did not want to be alone with Gavin. "What do you want?" she asked disgusted to see him before her.

"I am here to practice, remember, you sing, I play guitar, we make a hell of a team," he laughed walking towards her.

"Karen said that we were practicing at 5, and with the whole band. It is not even 4:30. What are you doing here?" she asked automatically tensing up.

"Why can't I be early, I am a dedicated man, what can I say."

"Say I am leaving until 5, because if you don't then I am," she started walking towards the stairs, but Gavin blocked her pathway. "Get out of my way," she said as firmly as she could, she did not look up at him, nor did she tense up, not yet at least.

"I came to talk to you, and we have yet to talk, I am not moving until we talk."

"Well I do not want to talk to you."

"Not an option."

"Last time we 'talked' you had your hand around my neck, I couldn't breath. I really do not want a repeat of that," she said looking up at him, now being to tense up, she could swear she could feel his hand around her neck as he spoke, she put her own hand on her neck to reassure herself that it was not.

"Well if you did not struggle so much then it would not have been a problem."

"What do you possibly have to say to me?"

"I just want to talk Haley. What is so wrong with that?"

"Do I have to remind you again about you almost killing me? And there is nothing that you could possibly have to tell me that I want to hear." She tried to pass him with all of her force but he flung her back, and she almost fell to the ground, but she caught herself, but her apron that she had yet to take off, fell to the ground in her place.

"Okay, you do not seem to be listening to me. If I want to talk, we are going to talk and we are not leaving this room until we do. So stop trying any of your shit."

Haley did not respond, she was scared again, she did not want to be in this situation at all, but she did not know what to do. She stood there, waiting for him to talk first, but he just stared her down. She felt uncomfortable.

"Peyton apparently cares about this kid Nathan, I cannot tell you why. But she cares about him for some reason. And you are hurting him. That is not acceptable; I cannot let this go on. All you do is cause people around you pain. No matter where you are or who you are with, you cause others pain. I just think that you should have stayed on that tour of yours, because you coming back has done nothing but ruin other people's lives. They were a lot happier when you were gone, away from here."

"What are you the enforcer? Have I caused too much pain and now you are here to do something about it? Please, don't even answer that, because that is a load of shit. You have no right to do this; this is not your place."

"Oh it is my place; you make people that I care about miserable."

"You care about people, ha; do you even know what that means?"

"Peyton, my girlfriend, remember her, yeah, she is not happy. I care about her and she is not happy, so I need to do something about that."

"Wait a second. Did I hear you right? You care about Peyton?" she was mocking him, there was no more room for fear, she tried humor or at least sarcasm, "You really seemed to care about her when she was passed out on cocaine last night, and you were all over me. And I have known Peyton a hell of lot longer then you have. If you looked up unhappy in a dictionary, Peyton's picture would be next to it. Her mother died on the way to pick her up when she was 7, and her dad is a no-show in her life. The guy that actually cared about her, the guy that she loved left her alone in this world. So do not tell me that I have caused her pain. She has been feeling it since the day that her mother died."

"You have no right to say that. You have no rights at all. You need to leave Tree Hill, get away from here, because no one loves you here, no one wants you here. Nathan, your husband, he rather have you dead then love you," that cut her like a knife in her heart. But it was already in a million pieces that it just went through a little more.

"What can you possibly do to me?"

"Are you really asking me this? I can hurt you worst then you can even fathom."

"I am not scared of your threats Gavin. Bring them on. Whatever you tell me, it won't cause me anymore pain then I am already going through. I wake up and that is all I feel until I go to sleep at night. So please Gavin, throw something at me, try and hurt me, I dare you."

"Do not tell me what to do," Gavin hated being told what to do, especially by someone of the opposite gender; he went at her full speed.

With every step that he took Haley looked directly into his eyes and she saw evil, and they were glazed over. She tried to get out of his path, put she failed and she was flung into a table, and then fell to the ground. Haley struggled to get away from Gavin's grip on her, his hands held her arms above her head. She tossed and turned, just trying to get away from him, but he was stronger then she ever would be, "I do not know how you wake up each morning knowing how much you hurt Nathan. You have been here for two months, two months, and how many times have you talked to him? Zero, zero times. You live with yourself each day knowing you hurt him and that he doesn't love you anymore. No one loves you, live with that."

"I do," she yelled at him, "I live with it everyday of my life," with all this anger and pain she was able to push Gavin off of her. She pulled back, dragging her feet, but she got up, while Gavin was still lying on the ground. "Do not tell me about pain, please, hold your breath. You know what? You want to hear something? Just like Peyton is in the dictionary under unhappy, my picture would be next to pain. That is all I feel, pain is what I felt for the last four months of my life, and I do not know what anything else feels like anymore. So do not tell me that I do not know what it feels like, because I could write a book," she did not know what to feel, it hurt her with each word she was saying, because all of it was true, and all of it was her life.

"You deserve it, all of it."

"I know that, and that is what I have to live with everyday. Music is the only thing that gets me through the day; it is the only thing that I have left. Please do not take this away from me. It is the only thing that gets me through the day."

"It is out of my control; your fate has already been decided. The pain that you get is what you deserve. And if the only thing you have left for you happens to go away, then that is what has already been planned for you."

"Then this is just my life's plan, and I just need to live with it?" she stumbled backwards, it hurt too much to even stand, she backed up and nearly fell down the stairs. She looked back at Gavin, and she almost lost it. But she was not going to cry in front of him, he did not deserve her tears.

Karen was helping some customers when she heard what seemed like a crash coming down the stairs. She turned and looked and saw that it was Haley; she quickly apologized to her customers and ran over to where Haley was struggling to even function.

Haley missed the last step and fell forward towards the ground only to be caught by a bystander. Karen got there a few seconds later and thanked the man. She held onto Haley, and put her hands on her face and looked into her eyes, she tried to find some glimmer of anything else, but all she could see was sadness and pain.

Haley tried to hold it in, all of it, but no person could ever support the pain of the world that Haley was holding in, she looked into Karen's eyes and she crumbled to the ground, Karen holding on with every crash and fall. Karen held onto Haley through ever tremor and convulsion, and it pained her to see and feel someone that she considered a daughter going through all of this pain. She felt like Lucas that night in the café two months ago, she felt helpless. All she could do was hold on and never let go.

Peyton went all across Tree Hill trying to get everything on the writer for Jimmy Eat World. She looked at the clock in her car, and it was almost 5, she wanted to make sure that she was there just in case Gavin had a run in with Haley. As much as she disliked Haley, there was only so much pain that a person could go through, and she really did not want Haley to feel the wrath of Gavin. She parked her car outside of the café, grabbed some supplies and entered. The first thing that she noticed when she walked in was the silence, it was very quiet and not many people were talking. A lot of eyes were directed at one thing but Peyton had yet to determine what it was. She paused and realized she heard one thing and one thing only, she heard a girl sobbing. Just from where she stood, Peyton felt the pain of the girl; the sobs tore her heart apart. Peyton knew what pain was, so she knew that whatever this girl was going through it had forever changed her life. The girl hurt. Peyton walked a little further and she almost fell backwards when she saw the scene in front of her. She saw Haley, broken and fragile, sobbing in Karen's arms. She saw Haley, broken and fragile, breaking apart.

Karen looked up and her eyes went directly to Peyton's. Karen knew that Gavin went upstairs to Tric and that Haley was up there as well. Karen knew the destruction and pain that he could cause, and she knew that Gavin had something to do with Haley's sorrow. So looking into Peyton's eyes knowing that her boyfriend was the cause of the girl is her arm's pain, it was hard to fathom.

Peyton got a gist of what Karen was telling her with her eyes, and she did not even know what to do. Peyton had been contributing to Haley's pain; there was no way that she could suddenly be there for her. She never was before; today was not the day to start. She felt like her feet were glued to the ground because she tried to walk away from the scene in front of her but she couldn't. It was this moment in time that she realized something. There was no way that Nathan could be hurting as much as Haley hurt. Because the person sobbing in front of her was beyond pain that she can deal with and just keep in. She was beyond pain. And Peyton had no idea what to do.

Haley sobs lessened and soon they came to a complete stop, she had no control over them, they poured out as if it was the only chance for them ever to come out. But it hurt too much to do anything else, each day was a struggle, and she had one glimmer of hope when she went to sleep and that there were no more then the morning tears. She just felt that it meant that was a day that she wasn't thinking about it as much, but today was not one of those days.

She looked up into Karen's eyes and the older women did not speak, what could she possibly say to the girl in her arms. Haley looked from Karen to Peyton, who was this girl in front of her? Yeah, they were both girls, little girls lost in this large world that they live in. And the world was not their friend, not today, not yesterday, not in a long time. When Haley looked into Peyton's eyes, she thought that she might look away, but the eyes were locked between the two girls. And they would have been for longer if their eye lock was not interrupted by someone entering the café.

That someone was Brooke, she had time to think and she really needed to talk to Haley, she needed to tell her that she couldn't let whatever she was feeling in any longer, because in the long run she was going to hurt worst then she already did. But she did not even have to tell her when she walked into the café she saw Haley on the ground in Karen's arms and she knew that she was too late. She rushed over to where they were and knelt down; not even registering that Peyton was standing there before them. "What happened? Talk to me sweetheart," she had a concerned look on her face, Peyton could see the concern across her face and noticed that Brooke cared about Haley. And it made her remember that Brooke had been there for her a lot more then she gave her credit for. Peyton had been through more then the average person, but Brooke was there almost every step of the way…and she didn't have to be.

Haley looked up at Brooke, the last time that she had saw her was after the rain incident earlier, and then she bolted off and ignored her for the rest of the time. Yet she was still here in front of her, worried about her, concerned for her, there for her. And she could not say that about many people in her life. Brooke deserved the truth, but the only problem being was that Haley did not know what that was, but she gave the best attempt that she could, "The truth hurts, but when it is all that you feel, it cuts deeper, it cuts into the soul, it cuts into the heart. When the heart is already broken, it is hard to put it back together again. And it no longer is pain, it is life." She looked up at Brooke and it looked like she was the one that was going to cry, tears were forming in the brims of her eyes, but before the tears could attempt to fall, Haley reached up and brushed them away, "Save those tears for another day, I am not worth them."

Brooke let out a sad laugh, "I am supposed to be the one to wipe the tears away from your eyes and yet you are brushing mine away."

"All you want to do is help me out, all you want to do is be there for me and yet I am pushing you away, I am giving you nothing, and you do not deserve it, and neither do you," Haley said looking up in the eyes of the person that she admired the most.

"Sweetheart, all I want is for you to be happy, that is all I want, and it is not happening right now, and I am here for you, we are here for you. And we know that a broken heart does not magically mend over night, it will take time and we are here for that time. We love you Haley, I hope that you know that."

"I do," she looked from Brooke to Karen and then up to Peyton whose eyes was still at hers. Haley began to stand up from the position that she was sitting in, she stumbled a little but Brooke was there to stabilize her, and held her just a little longer just to make sure. Haley walked over to Peyton, and said nothing at first. She knew that Peyton was not in the right place in her life, she knew that Peyton was intentionally causing her pain because of some vendetta against her. But she also knew that this was not the Peyton that she knew. She finally spoke and it was not to yell at her or to tell her to leave, she told her, "I am sorry that I hurt you, I am sorry that you hurt, but you are not alone. It took me awhile to figure that out, but it is true. There are people going through the same thing and there are people that aren't that are willing to help you through it."

Peyton did not know how to respond to Haley in front of her. This was the girl that her boyfriend had caused hell to and she was standing in front of her apologizing to her, to her? She could not deal with this right now; she could not interact with Haley until things were figured out with Gavin. All that he did was cause pain, and there has come to a point that Peyton feared what he would do next. "I can't do this right now; I have got to go see Gavin."


	9. Chapter 9

"Peyton, listen to me, Gavin is not the answer. Give yourself time to be alone without someone to rely on or be there. And you will see you do not need to depend on some guy that treats you like shit," Brooke said looking at her, she was trying to help, she was trying to see if her best former friend was still in that body in front of her.

But before anyone could respond, Gavin just happened to come down the stairs, and he had heard what Brooke had said, and anger was in his eyes. "You are letting little miss no one loves me talk about me like that?" That hit Brooke like a ton of bricks, because as much as Gavin was an asshole, he was speaking the truth, and like Haley said, the truth hurt.

Peyton did not respond to him, nor did she look up at him, she did not know what to tell him with out making him madder then he already was. But he was going to be mad no matter what. And he was when she did not respond; he went closer to her and lifted up her chin roughly forcing her to look into his eyes, into those evil eyes. "Answer me," he said even more roughly grabbing her chin, but apparently she did not answer fast enough because Gavin pushed her back still holding on to her chin.

"Leave her alone," Brooke said approaching Gavin trying to act unaffected by his words, all she wanted to do was be there for her friend, "she does not have to defend the words that I said to you," she tried to pull his tight grip off of Peyton, but this resulted in Brooke ending up on the ground from the force of the blow from Gavin's arm. Karen was quickly by her side, there to help her up, making sure that she was okay, this was the second time in the matter of 24 hours that she was thrown to the ground because of Gavin. Peyton watched this whole thing occur and could helplessly do nothing. "Peyton, you deserve better then him," Brooke tried to tell her from where she stood behind Gavin, looking directly into Peyton's eyes.

"Tell her that she is lying Peyton, tell her now, or so help me God."

"Gavin, think about what you are saying, think about what you are doing," Karen told him, "You are in the middle of my café, there are 30 people staring at you, please do not make more of a scene then you already have. And please just let Peyton go," Karen said this as firm and strong as possible, she looked into Peyton's eyes. She looked at the tight grip that he had on her, she looked at her fear that spread across her face.

Gavin looked around, not loosening up his grip but he stared down all the people that were staring at him. And he realized that Peyton wouldn't disobey him, that whatever he asked her to do, she would do, because she was the one that did not want the scene caused.

Since Karen had defiantly stepped closer to Gavin and Peyton, Brooke went back closer to Haley, and held on to her hand, telling her in no words that she was there for her and she was proud that she could stand up to Peyton.

"Tell her she is lying Peyton, and I will not cause a scene. I know you live for the attention though. Any chance you can get to have someone, anyone's eyes on you; you are on top of that. So tell me Peyton, tell me and the whole café here, that your friend back there is lying out of her ass. You need me, you know you do, just admit it, and we can just move on with our lives."

As much as Peyton did not want to admit it, Gavin pretty much hit the nail on the head; she was always alone, especially since her mom died, she tried to grab onto as many people as would let her. Jake, was her one true love and he had left her, after that she stopped believing in love, she just believed that if anything bad was possibly going to happen, it would. It was just her luck. She hated being alone, and after all of her missteps in love she just grabbed on to any one who would hold her back, no matter who that person was, no matter how bad that person treated her. "I need you," with no emotion in her voice.

That is all that she needed to say and he let her go, and she did not collapse in pain, or have tears of relief, she just looked from the set of eyes staring at her, Karen, Brooke, and then Haley, and there was nothing left to do…but to walk away. And that is what she did, she left the trio standing there wondering what was going on in that head of hers, but the thoughts were all that they could have tonight. She went up to Tric because she needed to get things ready, the band would be there soon and the only thing to make matters worse would to not make Jimmy Eat World happy tonight.

Gavin stared the girls down as well, but he turned to leave, but not before hitting the nail into the coffin for Haley, "You lose, no one loves you, did you forget you were married when you left? I think Nathan did," he laughed and just stared her down; she was too weak to walk away or say anything to defend herself, especially since every word that he had ever told her, she felt daily, he was just saying it out loud for the world to hear.

Brooke was not scared of this coward in front of her, no matter what he did to her, it did not matter, what mattered was that he was hurting his friends, and that was not something that she was going to take lightly. Stepping in front of Haley, to somehow protect her with her almost as small body frame, "You have done enough damage to last a lifetime, walk away, leave Haley alone," she gave him a little shove to start him in the right direction away from there.

Gavin turned around and left Brooke with this, "You are just jealous because you are alone, and Peyton has someone to be there for her. Unlike you with that Lucas guy. So you need to stay out of it and worry about yourself little girl, because being an alone little girl in the world is a scary thing."

Brooke let it slid, but she did not let it past.

Gavin was getting deep into the hearts of Tree Hill's three most heartbroken. And no one needed to be in their hearts, except the one who was going to put the pieces back together. Gavin was not that person.

Karen made sure that Gavin was completely upstairs before she said anything at all. First, she did not know what to do, there had just been a commotion in her café, and the whole place was left to wonder what was going on. Nevertheless, this was not there place to wonder, she chose not to say anything. She had to just stand there and take everything in, and think. The three girls that were the most important to her, they were all hurting, and she felt that with everything that she was doing, the pain just hurt more. And she tried to figure out who needed her help the most, who was in the most pain, but that was not something that she could do, each girl was suffering in their own pain, and there was no one that had the right to tell them who felt it more.

Peyton was a lost soul, she had gone through more pain and heartbreak in 18 years then most go through in their entire lifetime. And she has seen all aspects of pain, from the hands of others, from the deaths of the one that she loved, betrayal, departures from her life, but still intact in her heart. She was on a path that could only lead to destruction in the end, the heart was already broken, so there was nothing left to break.

Anyone that looked at Haley could see that her heart was broken, it was not her intention to have it on her sleeve, but it was not something that was going away, it was too hard to cover up anymore. Pain was not something that she was used to feeling; she had grown up a happy kid, with a large family, full of love. She found another family in Lucas and Karen, and that was all that she ever needed. And she was the simplest girl, she did not care what others thought of her, she was the tutor girl, and she was happy with that. But then Nathan Scott crossed her path trying to destroy her best friend. And no matter if she was a nobody in status, if someone was messing with the person she loved the most in the world, she was going to do something about it. No matter who that person was, no matter if that person was Nathan Scott, king of the school. She never knew that she would fall in love with this guy, that was never her intention. She learned that he was different then the person he let everyone else see. Nathan loved her for who she was, even if that was tutor girl, he loved her…and that is all that she ever wanted. And now this same guy was the one breaking her heart into pieces, million of broken pieces. She was worried that they would not fit back together again, it was a fear she woke up each morning. And as much as she tried to hide it, the whole world could see how she felt, because it was all that she felt anymore…broken.

Brooke was another story though, not that many people knew the person that she really was. The person that everyone knew her as was school president, captain of the cheerleading squad, class slut even. No one knew who she really was, or the emotions she felt daily. She was all alone in this world, and no one would ever think that because of the act that she put on. And more then anything she was scared, scared of what the future would bring to her. She did not consider herself to have anything that would get her anywhere in this life, she did have her designs, but where would that take her, she is too young to be in the business, she experienced that first hand.

Brooke looked at the people in her life, or the ones that were in it the most. Haley. Haley is a genius, she is going to be able to get into any college that she wanted to. Though Brooke made fun of her in the past, she always admired her. Haley did not care about anything that anyone ever said about her, no matter how much it hurt, she was content with the person that she was. Brooke was not able to say that about herself. Then she looked at Nathan, Nathan is a basketball king, he also could get into any school on a basketball scholarship, any school with Nathan Scott was going to be set to go for awhile. Peyton. Peyton was her best friend; she always would be no matter what was going on in either one of their lives. It hurt for them to not be talking or be on the same page anymore. But Peyton had her art, and even if she did not want to go anywhere with that, she had her love for music. And that love would take her as far as she let it. Then there was Lucas Scott, the one that held her heart, he was just unaware of this. But he could go anywhere his heart desired. And because it was in fact so big, he would stay close so he could still be around his mom. There was never a mother that ever looked a boy, more then Karen loved Lucas. Lucas felt the same way, and he never wanted to hurt her again, he did not want to leave her alone with the café stuck in a town where the father of her child was the mayor.

She was scared of the future because she was unaware of what it would bring. She did not know where she and Lucas were going, or when they would go down the same path again…together. Brooke had had so many relationships in her lifetime, but not one of them ever meant more then being in the arms of Lucas Scott. She had jumped from so many guys that she was new to this feeling of aloneness. And it was not like she was in love with any of these guys, she would have meaningless sex with them, just because she had come to a point that she did not know what else to do. Brooke sometimes cried herself to sleep at night knowing that she had never known what love was. It was a fact; Brooke Davis had never felt love until the day that she took off her mask. And she was scared because the mask hid her from the world; it covered her so the real world would not know that she felt pain. Nevertheless she did not remove the mask alone, Lucas was there helping her, and when it was off, she no longer had to shield it, the love was there.

Karen had known Haley for a long time, and Karen will never forget the first time that she met her. _Haley was in the park when two older boys were picking on her because she was reading a book on the swing. Karen smiled slightly because it was a sight to see, Haley was the tiniest of girls, she had little glasses on her face and she was so involved in the humongous book that she was reading, Karen could swear that the book weighed more then her. Then she saw these two older boys come over and push her from behind, and she flew forward. It was Karen's first instinct to go over there and help the little fallen girl. Apparently it was Lucas's as well and he ran over there and the other boys ran away. Karen bent down and helped the fallen girl up, her glasses and book had fallen in the stumble, so she handed them to Haley. And when Haley looked up to see who was saving her this time, she had tears falling down her cheeks. "It is okay, you are safe now," Karen told her. Haley's tears disappeared and smile appeared on her face. She had come from a big family, but she was the baby, she was picked on her entire life, no one had ever stood up for her before. Haley quickly got to know Lucas and Karen, and she learned that they were all alone and that was it, she hadn't left their side since. _So Karen knew Haley better then a lot of people, and the person that she has been for the last two months, was not the little Haley James that told her a decade ago that she had plenty of brothers and sisters at home, Lucas and Karen needed her. She was 8 years old at that point, and Karen has watched her grow, triumphant, and stumble.

Peyton and Brooke came into her life only years ago, but even if they ever did leave her life, they would never leave her heart. Lucas had spoke about Peyton here and there and then when the club opened up Peyton was there to help her out because she was so inexperienced, so Karen got to know her even better. She saw the pain in her eyes when she spoke of her mom, and the confusion and heartache that she had been through along the way. And Peyton had come to her, and that is what she wanted, but it had not happened lately. Then Karen met Brooke when she returned from Florence after 6 weeks to find her son fighting for his life in a hospital bed. But Brooke was by his side and Karen knew that beyond the first impression of the cheerleader and tattoo artist, that there was a girl alone underneath it all. And at first Karen could not believe that this was the girl that her son was dating, however she soon saw the mask get pealed away and she saw the person that Brooke really was.

One thing that all these girls had in common was the fact that they truly were alone. Out of all the girls, not one parent was in the same state as them, none of them called on a regular basis, or knew anything about their lives. And this broke Karen's heart, so she vowed to be there for each one, be the one that they could go to if they were scared, confused, hurt, or alone. She knew about the feelings that they felt, the friends that they had, and the dreams that they aspired. Karen knew them. Karen knew that they all were in pain. Karen knew what she needed to do.

She put one hand on each of the shoulders of the girls before, "Are you okay?" She looks from girl to girl, seeing if she could see something other then sadness in their eyes. And she did, but it was not what she was hoping for, it was fear as well.

"I am fine Karen. I do not know why you would even have to ask," Brooke informed her, lying to her face, lying to herself.

Karen could still feel Haley shaking with only one hand on her shoulder; she knew that she was not okay, so she was not going to wait for an answer from her. "Okay, wrong question, I should not have asked you that. I am trying though, I am trying to be the one that can say the right things to you and make everything okay. But I just cannot seem to be that person, no matter how hard I want to be."

"Karen, I do not have to just speak for myself when I say this, but news flash, there is no one else here for us. You are the only one that is always here, you never leave. None of us have parents here nursing to our broken hearts, or picking us up as we keep on falling down. And maybe right now you are not able to repair all of things broken in our lives, but that has nothing to due with lack of trying. You never give up on us, even though we have already done so ourselves. You do not give yourself enough credit."

Karen was touched by Brooke's kind words to her, but there was something that she did not agree with, "I do not want any credit. I just want you girls to be happy."

"And we will be…eventually."

Haley had not been saying anything, the last time she had spoken was when she was talking to Peyton, trying to be there for her, even though she was one of the reasons that Haley hurt so much each day. And she did hurt, but she had to be grateful that she was no as far gone as Peyton was. That with all the pain that she was feeling that she did not turn to something that would take it all away. But then it scared her that Peyton had, this was not the girl that she knew. And there was nothing that she could do.

Karen did not know much at the present time, but she did no one thing, and that was that Haley could not possibly perform, there was no way that she was going to let her either, "Brooke, do you think that you could do me a favor?"

"Of course, anything, Karen."

"Can you get Haley home, and make sure she gets to bed soon, and just watch her throughout the night, I will stop by later, after the show."

At first Brooke was a little confused, she thought that Haley was playing tonight, and she also was looking forward to Jimmy Eat World. But there was something that was much more important and it was the well being of Haley, "Yeah Karen, I can do that."

Brooke put a hand on Haley's shoulder, trying to lead her out of the café, but it was the first time that Haley spoke, "I have to play tonight," it was barely above a whisper. She was weak and exhausted.

"Not tonight Haley. You are not in the right state to play."

"I have to play tonight, I am opening for Jimmy Eat World, it does not get any better then that."

"It will Haley, but another time. You just need to go home and sleep, you are exhausted. And it has been a long, draining day. A good night's sleep will make things better," Karen said in the best attempt for Haley to agree with her and allow Brooke to take her home, but Karen would never have realized how wrong she actually was.

"Every time I go to sleep, every time," Haley was getting angry which surprised Brooke and Karen, "I wake up and there are tears running down my cheeks. And I do not ask them to fall," now she was getting increasingly upset, and she was shaking, she paused and then spoke again, "they just do, every time I go to sleep, they are there to wake me up. And they tell me, he is not here. He is not here once again. He doesn't love you anymore. He never did. Sleep is not what I need. What I need is to never have to sleep again, so that every morning when I wake up I do not get a reminder on my cheeks that I am alone," Haley trembled as she spoke each word. She was no longer stable on her feet, so she stumbles backwards and Brooke held onto her as tightly as possible, so that she could be stable for one moment in her life. Brooke could swear that she could feel Haley's ribs, and it scared her. As much as Haley did not want to admit that she was headed down a destructive path, she was, and her thinning body was letting her down.

"Haley, Brooke is going to take you home, you do not have to go to sleep, but you cannot stay here," it hurt Karen to have to say that to her, she wanted Haley to be able to stay there so that she could be there for her, but not with Gavin and Peyton on the floor above them. She could not risk another encounter for the fragile girl.

"Okay, so I am not welcome here, I will leave."

"Haley, you know that it is not like that, I want you to be safe, I care about your well being, you know that I want you to stay in my arms forever, just so that I can be reassured that you are. But as much as I do not want to say it, it cannot be done."

"I do not need to be safe forever; life is so much more exciting when you go to sleep not knowing if the next day is going to be your last. Why should I live in an enclosed world, I need to find a place where I do not know my fate. I know it here."

"Haley, what are you trying to say? You are making no sense. And you are scaring me."

"I already know what life is like here, it is full of heartbreak and pain. And do not tell me that it gets better, that I cannot go through it forever. Or even try to tell me that it is not like that. But it is. I look around and the friends that mean the most to me, yeah, they are going through the same thing. Tree Hill? What a joke, it needs to change its name to Heartbreak, Carolina. Because that is all anyone is going to find when they come here. That is all that I have ever found," with that Haley shook away Brooke's grip on her and unstably walked away.

"Where are you going?" Karen asked her, hoping that she would turn around.

"Going to try and find my heart, it went missing a long time ago."

Brooke did not want to let Haley just walk away, there was no way that she was letting her, so she gave Karen a look telling her that she was going to stop her, and ran after Haley. But in the time it took her to turn around, Haley was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

"What are we going to do?" Brooke asked, she was the child, she did not know what to do.

Even though Karen was the adult, she answered honestly, "I do not know Brooke. The only thing that I can say is that we must give her some time and space right now. But have no fear, she will be in her bed when you go to sleep tonight," Karen said hoping that she was speaking the truth.

"What should I do now?"

"Whatever you want to do, for a few hours do not worry about Haley. She is going to be alright."

"I am still going to worry, but…"

"Sweetheart, you have got your own demons to fight, how about for an afternoon, you worry about yourself?"

"Not going to happen. Sorry Karen."

"You do not have to apologize to me; just know that you can, if the time comes, apologize to yourself."

Brooke just nodded, "I am going to go for a walk, clear my head. I will be back in a little bit for the show."

"Okay Brooke, call me if you need me."

"I know," with that Brooke was the cause of the bell ringing in the door.

Karen wiped down the counter and was ready to get back to her routine when she heard a crash above her, and could only imagine a nightmare. But there was nothing that she could do unless she knew what was going on. Though she feared the worst, she ventured up the stairs and her fears came true.

_Only 10 minutes earlier Peyton made her way up the same stairs that Karen just traveled upon. She barely even made it into the club when she was stopped by the scene in front of her. Tables were pushed together, chairs were on their sides, and more then anything one thing stood out to her…Haley's apron. The strap was broken, and it was flung in the middle of the dance floor. There must have been a struggle, there was no way that there couldn't be. She did not have the long to take it in though; she froze when she heard footsteps behind her._

"_I was not sure if you were ever going to just agree with me, or if you were going to keep a scene all day long," he said putting his arms around Peyton's waist._

"_Don't touch me Gavin," she said pushing his hands away, and tried to walk away. He grabbed onto her again._

"_Do not walk away from me."_

"_What are you going to do? The same thing that you did to Haley when she tried to walk away from you?"_

"_I needed to talk to her, and she wouldn't listen to me."_

"_No one has to listen to you Gavin; they have free right to be able to just walk away. If Haley did not want to talk, you needed to respect that, and let her walk away."_

"_Oh so now you are siding with her? Make up your damn mind Peyton. Because the reason that I was talking to her was because of you. You were not happy because this Haley girl was hurting your friend, so I was being your boyfriend and doing something about it. But now after I was trying to help you out, you are siding with her. Make up your mind Peyton."_

"_You cannot fight pain with pain."_

"_That is the only way that seems to work nowadays, she would not get my point."_

"_What did you do to her, Gavin?"_

"_I just told her the truth Peyton. All I was doing was helping her out. Apparently she was not getting it."_

"_You cannot play God, Gavin."_

"_I really do not like that you are repeatedly changing your mind. Do you want her to feel the pain that you are feeling, or not?"_

"_Gavin, when I walked in to Karen's café I heard someone sobbing, I was 10 feet away, 10 feet Gavin, and every convulsion that this person was feeling, I felt. I walked a little further and found Haley sobbing in Karen's arms. You scared her so much that it pained her."_

"_Maybe that was just what she needed."_

"_How can you possibly know what she needs Gavin? You do not even know what I need," she walked towards Haley's apron and knelt down, "Did she need for her apron to be ripped off of her? Because you seemed to think that she did," she informed him lifting up Haley's apron._

"_I do not get you Peyton; you are the most indecisive person that I know."_

"_Wow, I am impressed that you even know what that word means. And news flash, no one gets who I am, so don't feel special."_

_The drugs were still in Gavin's system, and he was very irritable. He did not want to take anymore of her attitude or sarcasm. He approached her, "Oh I don't feel special, and don't you worry your pretty little lonely self. And I would just like to know when you became the person that knows what Haley needs? Two days ago you were calling me Mr. Pain; today I have hurt her feelings. You have one second to make up your mind Peyton."_

"_Or what Gavin?"_

"_One second is up," he smacked her across the face, and she thought that it broke in half. It didn't, so she tried to get up, get away from him. But she was not fast enough as she was trying to mend her wound, he shoved her into the stage, and she hit her head. She moaned out in pain, immediately putting her hand to her head. "You cannot play God either, there is a thing called fate. Things that happen are supposed to happen. If Haley is supposed to be in pain, then it will happen, I am just trying to help God out."_

"_What about me?" she struggled to ask him._

"_Same thing, whatever is happening, it supposed to happen."_

"_I am alone Gavin. All alone. All I feel is pain, and nothing, or no one is able to take it away from me. So I am not a big fan of this fate that you talk about. Was it fate that brought you to me? Because fate is not my friend."_

_Gavin was not happy with her response, and the drugs had taken its worst toll, so with all the anger inside of him combined with Peyton's words, caused him to throw Peyton across the room into a couple of the tables. She was knocked out on impact._

_Even though Gavin was under the influence of drugs, this was not his intention; he never thought that he was strong or angry enough to knock Peyton out. He went over to her side and tried to wake her up and this is what Karen saw when she walked up the stairs. _

She rushed over to where Gavin was, not even scared of the monster in front of her. All of her motherly instincts went into high gear, and pushed Gavin off of Peyton and tried to see the literally broken girl in front of her.

"I did not mean to do this…it was not my fault…I…I…I…sorry."

"Stop your babbling Gavin. I do not want to hear it. If you want to do something right for once, call 911, and then get out of here," she yelled at him in her sternest voice possible under the circumstances.

"911? Why would I need to call 911?"

"Because Peyton is seriously hurt Gavin. You seriously hurt her. Being unconscious is not a good thing. She needs some help," she said staring at the girl in front of her, and then she looked to him, but directly back at Peyton," we do not know if something is broken. Maybe, and hopefully there isn't but we do not know that until someone who is more professional then you or I tells us."

Gavin got up and scampered down the stairs and did what Karen informed him to do. Karen was trying to use Gavin's technique to wake Peyton up. "Sweetheart, you are safe, I am here, wake up…please….for me. You are not alone."

Peyton began to stir a little bit, she was not fully conscious but she was coming to. Karen supported her, and allowed her to wake up on her own. And when she did she was startled and completely confused.

"You are safe Peyton."

At this point she did not whether to try and get away or allow Karen to hold her. No one had held her in a while, and not just someone that she loved like Jake, but there has been no parental holdings either. Not until now. And because she hurt too much to move an inch, she decided to let Karen hold her, but she was still uneasy.

"I am not going to hurt you Peyton, you are safe," when Karen told her this, she turned so that she could lock eyes with her. She saw the love in her eyes, love that no one had showed her in years, and it was all for her. She had forgotten what it was like. And she did not know how to react to it, so she did another thing that she hadn't allowed her to do in years as well…she let tears fall from her eyes, all the pain that she had been feeling in the last year, everything that had added up, she let fall from her eyes and brush her cheeks.

It was the second time in the last hour that Karen had held onto a girl as if she was never going to let her go, because she was afraid if she did, then she would be even more lost then she already was. And Karen never wanted anyone that she cared about to feel lost in the world, when she was there willing to walk down the path with whoever needed it. Karen never wanted anyone to feel alone, and she would do everything in her power for them not to feel that way again. Because what these girls were unaware was that Karen had felt the same feelings that Haley, and Peyton, and Brooke, had been feeling for awhile some time in her own life.

With every tear that fell Karen became more and more aware of the pain and suffering that Peyton felt each and every day of her life. Karen was well aware that she felt it, and that she knew what pain was, but not like this. Every convulsion of Peyton's body made another stream of tears filled with pain fall from her face. Each tear brought to the surface another time of sorrow that Peyton felt. And she had kept it all in; she had kept in for years. She promised herself that she would not cry after her mom died. No one was worth the tears like the tears that she poured out for her mother. No matter what she was going through, no matter as much as it hurt, she told herself that nothing could ever be as bad as losing one's mother. She did not allow herself to let the tears fall because she lived by that and no matter how much it hurt. She lost her mother. She lost her father to the sea. She lost the one guy that meant the world to her and promised to never let her go, but she lost him as well. She lost her best friend. She lost herself.

Karen held onto Peyton until the paramedics came, and even though she didn't want to, she had to let go as they lifted her up and placed her on the gurney. "Do you know what happened ma'am?" one of the younger paramedics asked her.

"I just heard a huge crash, I do not know what led to it," Karen told him putting a hand to her chin, holding her other arm around her waist. So many thoughts went through her head at once. First off she did not know if she was going to be able to go with Peyton. If she was then what was going to happen to the club that night? Then she thought of three other people, first her son, she had no idea where he was at the present time, and she needed him more then anything. Then she thought of Brooke, she was still lost, and currently she was on a walk trying to clear her mind, but what happens if she came back and Peyton was being pulled away on a gurney. Or what happens if she comes back and Karen is gone. She promised Brooke that she would always be there for her, and if she left with Peyton then it was saying that she favored Peyton, or that Peyton needed her more. She didn't know what to do, or feel. And then probably the worst of them all was Haley. Karen let Haley walk out of her café trusting her that she would be able to make it back to her apartment, alone. What was she thinking? Haley was distraught, she did not want to be in Tree Hill anymore, for all that Karen knew was that she could be on a bus going half way across the United States. She had no idea where Haley was, she had no idea where Brooke was, and she had no idea where her son was. And she needed all of them, so did Peyton. But right now, they were all somewhere else, away from her. "Can I go with her in the ambulance?"

"Are you her guardian?"

"No."

"Is she 18?"

"Yes."

"Then I am sorry ma'am, you cannot."

"But I do not want her to be alone."

"She won't ma'am."

"She is always alone, it doesn't matter if other people are in her vicinity, she still feels alone, and I just want to be there for her," Karen had no idea why she just told this to the paramedic that she just met, but it was what she was feeling at that time. Karen looked over at Peyton who was lying on the gurney, sadness still stricken on her face. "I need to be with her, can you just make an exception please, this one time?"

An older paramedic came over and told the younger one what Peyton just told him in a whisper, "The victim just…"

Karen did not want this man to call Peyton a victim, she was a victim it was a fact but this man had no right to call her one, "her name is Peyton," Karen firmly told her, she was afraid that she was going to break as she said these words to him.

"Peyton," the man corrected himself for Karen's sake, "just grabbed my hand, and begged me to let you come with her. She is fully conscious now, and I can see it in her eyes that she is scared, so for this one time, I am going to let the rule slide ma'am. You can go with Peyton in the ambulance."

"Thank you," Karen told him after he informed her, and then she went over and held Peyton's hand, "I am here sweetheart, I am not leaving you," she saw a tear slip from Peyton's eye down the side of her head, and she wiped it away.

Brooke was walking down the street from Karen's café for only about 15 minutes when she looked up into the sky, the rain was back. She began to run to avoid getting wet, but then she slowed down, and the trot turned into a jog and then a walk. She embraced the rain as she saw Haley do it earlier. She was not yet ready to embrace the pain that she felt, but she thought that it was a step that she was recognizing it rather then completely ignoring it as she normally did. She was making her way back to the café when she had to stop completely and make sure that she was seeing what she thought that was seeing clearly. Because what she thought that she saw was Peyton being rolled out of a stretcher while Karen held her hand. She rubbed her eyes and got the hair that the rain pasted to her face and ran over to them, "Karen," she called out concern throughout her voice. "Karen," she called out again because she would not turn around. So when she did not respond again, she ran over to where the ambulance was and saw Peyton close up on the gurney, and she was scared.

"Brooke?" Karen asked not sure what to do.

Before she had a chance to do or say anything the younger of the paramedics pulled her back away from Peyton and Karen.

"What are you doing? That is my best friend on that gurney, I need to be there for her," Brooke told him trying to break through from his grip on her.

"I am sorry but we are trying to get your friend to the hospital because she was hurt. I know that you want what is best for her, I am going to let you go, but you are going to have to walk away."

"Karen," she called out with small, scared tears falling down her cheek, just hoping that she would be able to change the man's mind.

"Sweetheart, I will call you as soon as I know something, I promise you."

"Is she going to be okay?" Brooke asked not knowing the fate of her best friend. Was it too late to repair what was broken between them? Did Brooke fail as being Peyton's friend?

"I am okay Brooke, don't you worry," this surprised both Brooke and Karen. Peyton hadn't said anything real to Brooke in months, and there is no way that any time in those months that Peyton would care what Brooke was going through. And Karen was grateful that Peyton answered because she did not know what to say to Brooke right now to make things better. This was a fear that she had to leave Brooke here, it was a fear that she had to pick between one of the girls that was in need.

"Brooke, call Lucas, tell him what is going on. And Brooke, I do not know if we can trust that Haley is going to be coming home tonight. You have got to find her."

"Okay, I will call Luke," that was the last thing that she was able to say to her, with that Karen and Peyton were both put in the ambulance and Brooke watched it ride away with the sirens roaring.

Brooke didn't know what to do; she knew that she had to call Lucas. But it was hard to do when she just saw her best friend ride away in an ambulance. 30 minutes ago she was okay-well not okay-but at least able to stand on her own two feet. Brooke just stood there in the rain, not able to move, afraid that if she did she would collapse to the ground. Ironically, Lucas pulled up in his truck.

And he saw Brooke standing in the rain, she looked like she was in shock, and this scared him a little bit, because this reminded him of the time that he found Haley, and she was not okay. Lucas got out of his truck and ran over to Brooke. "Brooke what happened?" he asked her, he was concerned about her not matter the status of their relationship, he held onto with both of his hands and looked up into his eyes. And that is when she lost it, looking into Lucas Scott's eyes. "Brooke, you are worrying me. Please tell me what is going on."


	11. Chapter 11

And he saw Brooke standing in the rain, she looked like she was in shock, and this scared him a little bit, because this reminded him of the time that he found Haley, and she was not okay. Lucas got out of his truck and ran over to Brooke. "Brooke what happened?" he asked her, he was concerned about her not matter the status of their relationship, he held onto with both of his hands and looked up into his eyes. And that is when she lost it, looking into Lucas Scott's eyes. "Brooke, you are worrying me. Please tell me what is going on."

"Peyton, Haley, they are not okay."

"Neither are you, let's go inside and get you dry."

"No, no…no we can't, we have to go."

Lucas put a hand on her cheek because she kept looking away, "Brooke where do we have to go?"

"Haley is gone, Luke."

"What are you talking about Brooke? Where did she go?"

"She left," was all she said, she couldn't even look up into those eyes, his eyes, it was just too hard. She knew that he was concerned about her and that meant a lot, but for the fact that he was concerned was because he was a good guy, and that is what got her the worst.

"Where Brooke?" he tried by adding intensity to his voice, he was concerned about his best friend.

"I tried to help her, I tried, but she was in so much pain. I tried Luke."

"I know you did Brooke," with that Brooke put a hand on Lucas' chest to support herself, because she swore she was going to collapse. Lucas put his arms around her, embracing her because he knew that is what she needed.

Brooke only allowed him to hold her for one quick minute, even though she was weak right now, she couldn't let herself do this right now. She felt the safest in his arms but now was not the time; she was not the one in need right now.

"Luke, did you hear that ambulance?"

"Yeah, it seemed really close," he didn't think much of it but then looked into her eyes again, and knew there was something more.

"Peyton was in it. Haley left, I couldn't stay, I couldn't stop her. So I went for a walk. It started to rain so I came back. When I came back I saw your mom holding Peyton's hand as they rolled her out on a gurney. I don't know what happened, she was hurt, Luke. She is in pain. Haley is in pain. And there is nothing that I can do about it."

"We will Brooke, don't you worry."

"We?"

"You didn't think I was going to leave you alone, did you?"

She shook her head no, "Your mom is going to call when she finds something out. She told us that we needed to find Haley. I don't know where she is or where she went, or if she is even coming back. All I know is she said that all she has found here was heartbreak. And she didn't want to feel it anymore."

"We will find her; I won't stop until we do."

"Luke, I am really worried about her."

"I know you are, so am I," he said trying to hurry up the process.

Brooke stopped him though, bringing him up to date with reality, "Luke, she hasn't been eating, she is losing weight. She thinks that Peyton has taken a drastic path to deal with her pain. But she is taken one as well. We have got to find her, or we are going to lose her."

"Not under my watch, let's go," he said leading her into his truck.

Haley was distraught and she found herself wandering, alone in the rain. She wanted to walk until it didn't hurt anymore, hoping to walk away the pain somehow. Nevertheless the more she walked, the more that she realized the reasoning behind the walking in the rain in the first place. She was lost, physically, mentally, emotionally. She had no idea where she was going until she looked up and saw where her feet had taken her. It was the same place she walked away from two months ago, the same place that housed the keeper of her heart, and the same place she lost who she was. Her feet got her to the door, and her hand pressed the doorbell, the she was brought back into reality when the door opened and she could swear she was experiencing déjà vu.

None other then Dan Scott opened the door. He saw Haley standing there, drenched, and he was surprised that the weakling still had it in her. He had to admit, Haley looked awful, she was thinner, bags under her eyes, not the Haley that he once saw. "We already bought our Girl Scout cookies," he went to close the door but Haley put her hand out to stop it.

"I need to talk to my husband."

"Husband? Are you sure you can still call him that?"

"This is none of your business, just let me talk to Nathan and I will be out of your hair, or should I saw toupee," she had to try, somehow.

"Are you here to apologize?" he said allowing that last comment to go, "because if you aren't go back where you came from little girl."

"He broke my heart, my heart," she said placing her hand over where her heart once beat. "If he can put back together the million little pieces then I will apologize for following my dream. But until then my heart is too weak."

"Then why are you here?"

"I am leaving Tree Hill, this time I thought that I would tell him."

"Am I on Candid Camera, where is the camera?" he said mockingly looking around.

"Very funny. I know you are happy. This is what you wanted all along. And just to let you know, this time I do not plan on coming back. I am out of his life," as she said that the weakness took over, and she fell backwards. Dan Scott actually reached out and grabbed her arm balancing her; did he really have a heart? No. "My son does not like anorexics."

Haley shook off his hold of her, "I have no idea what you are talking about," completely oblivious to her own weight loss, "But if Nathan isn't here, just tell him I am sorry but my heart is too weak to break anymore. Tell him I said goodbye." Then it hit her, "You aren't really going to tell him," she backed up, "it was a mistake to come here. Goodbye Mr. Scott."

She turned around but Mr. Scott called out to her, but she didn't turn around, she just kept walking into the day of rain.

Brooke and Lucas had been driving around for awhile and no words had been spoken, all they did was concentrate on the world around them. "She has got to go home at one point, right?"

"What happens if she has been there already?"

"We can't say anything until we check."

Karen has been in the waiting room for over an hour and she had heard absolutely nothing. She was worried about Peyton, but she could not get Haley off her mind. Nor could she get Brooke's face, her scared face, out of her mind either. Her thoughts were interrupted though, "Karen Roe?"

"That's me," she said turning around to face the doctor, "How is Peyton?"

"She is actually doing a lot better for someone in her position."

"So she is okay?"

"Yes ma'am. She does have a broken arm, and a slight concussion. But Ms. Roe, for what she has gone through, she is very fortunate. I can see you are worried, but she is going to be fine, we just want to observe her a little further, and you can take her home if you would like."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course, her boyfriend is with her now."

Karen did not think that she heard him right, "excuse me, did you say boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he has been really worried about her."


	12. Chapter 12

She couldn't believe that Gavin would show his face, especially since he was the reason that Peyton was here. She needed to go be where Peyton was, she needed to keep her safe, and she needed to get Gavin out of Peyton's life. She rushed to the room the doctor had told her and she was in total shock of what she saw…it was Lucas.

"Luke?"

He turned his head when he heard his name, "I had to make sure she was okay."

"Luke, where is Brooke? Did you find Haley?"

"Brooke is waiting at her apartment hoping she will be there and Haley will walk through the door."

Karen quickly remembered why she was there; her attention was brought back to Peyton. She was sleeping; the doctor said told her that had given her some pain killers that might knock her out. But as soon as they observed her for a couple more hours she was good to go.

"Lucas, the doctor told me that her boyfriend was sitting with her. Her boyfriend? I was scared Luke, I thought Gavin was here and he was going to hurt her more."

"I am sorry, that is the only way that I could see her. And Gavin is the one that put her in here?"

"Yes, I am afraid so."

"I am sorry I did not mean to scare you like that. I just really needed to make sure that she was going to be okay. I really haven't been there for her lately, and I know that it is late to start, but better now then later."

"Lucas, I know you are, but right now she is safer then Haley, she is better off then Brooke. I think that you need to be there for them as well. I have got Peyton for now, please Lucas; you have got to find Haley, before it is too late."

"Okay Ma, I just needed to make sure Peyton was okay."

"Haley is broken Lucas, if you do not find her soon, those pieces will not be able to go back together," she was a little surprised that his best friend was missing and he was by Peyton's bedside.

"Ma, I will find her. Do not worry about it."

"I worry Lucas; I worry about all three of them. There is no parent in their lives."

"So you have decided to stand up and be one to all three of them? No one is making you do that Ma."

"I know that Lucas, but I can be there for them, like someone that never has, and I want to be that person."

"Okay, I think that is very noble of you," he went over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then he headed towards the door and turned around, "Brooke?"

"She is more broken then you will ever know Luke. Go find Haley, bring her home to me, then you need to talk with Brooke, let her know how you feel, and she can do the same to you."

"Okay," with that he left the hospital heading back to the place he had just awkwardly left.

_Brooke and Lucas had driven up to her apartment, "I really hope that she is in here Luke. I have never seen her like this before, I am scared."_

_He didn't mean to, but he let out a small laugh. Brooke had only been friends with Haley for a short year, if even that, I mean she used to make fun of her. Now she was living with her, that was one thing, and now she was beyond concerned over their missing friend. _

_Brooke couldn't believe it, did he really just laugh at her because she was concerned over his best friend? "What was that for Luke?"_

"_I am sorry, it is just I have known Haley for like a decade, and how long have you known her? Like a year. It is just really hard for me to think that you are more concerned then I am."_

_This pained Brooke more then Lucas would ever know. She didn't understand either, Lucas had been the one to peel back the mask and reveal that she was in fact a sensitive, caring person. Not the person that most saw on a daily basis, she did not understand how he could be sitting there making fun of her. "Well Lucas, I hate to break it to you but I think for the last two months I have seen a side of Haley that you have yet to experience. And let me tell you, it is not a good one. She is going to be mad with me for telling you this, but did you know that she wakes up every day with tears already stained to her face? She wakes up each day in the hope that it is going to be better then the last, I mean she always was the optimistic one, but that Haley is gone. I know that you are her best friend Lucas, and I am not trying to step over any boundaries or anything, I just thought that I would let you know that," with that she quickly ran out of the car into her apartment._

_Lucas didn't know if he should follow, but he knew it was the right thing to do, he was wrong. He honestly could have been there more for Haley, but he could have also been there more for Peyton. He just let them slip away like they were always going to be there, always going to be okay. But they were not okay, neither of them was. He got out of the car and ran over to the door that Brooke had just almost closed all the way._

"_I am surprised that you even made it in the door."_

"_What is that supposed to mean?"_

"_When is the last time that you have been here Luke?"_

_It had not been his intention to be so distant in their lives lately, but that is just how it ended up. He had his own demons to fight, especially in the form on Dan Scott; he just hadn't been there like he should have. And Lucas and Brooke had been coming across rough spots for a while now, he still cared for her, but at the present time he was not ready to be with her. They have both mutually hurt each other; and it was going to take a little more time for both of them to recover. Lucas just never knew how much Brooke actually hurt with each day. "I know that I haven't really been around."_

"_No, really?" She had to laugh this time, "You haven't really been around? That is the understatement of the year, Luke. But you know what? I don't care, you have your own things to deal with, you have your own reasons,"_ _she was walking around when she was saying this, not totally wanting to face him, and at the same time looking around for signs of Haley, hoping that she was there, or had been. _

_Lucas did not mean to do this to her, not now, but he was angry at her, he did not feel that she had the right to say what she was saying, so uncharacteristically, he hurt her, "Yeah, I have my reasons. One being that you slept with Chris Keller, yeah that could be one of the reasons that I chose not to just hang out here. I mean I was ready to start things back up with us, and then I walk into you and Chris in bed together. That is not something that I can just forget," he looked around_ _a little bit for Haley as well, and then changed subjects, before he could see her face, but when he did it was as if he had told her that someone had died, "I guess she isn't here. I mean we looked everywhere, I do not know what we can do right now."_

_No, maybe no one died, not a person in that sense, but when Lucas said that to her, it was as if something did die, and that was his love for her. It pained her, his words, pained her so much, and he would never even know this. The hope that he still loved her got her through the days. She was alone in the world, and when she was loved by Lucas, she could careless if it was just him and her, she wasn't alone when she was with him, when he loved her, she was not alone. But she could not let him get to her any further, "What are you going to do then?"_

_He looked around, not wanting to make eye contact with her, he knew that he hurt her, and he did not want to see that on her face. He was thinking of one thing though, and he knew that it was going to hurt her as well, but he was just trying to be the best friend that he could be right now, and he had to prioritize who needed him the most. Peyton was in a hospital bed right now, Lucas decided that she was in dire need, especially since physically Brooke was okay as she stood before him, and as much as he hated to admit it, Haley was gone, and there was nothing that he could do to help her at the present time. "I am going to go to the hospital."_

"_Are you giving up on Haley that easily? She is your best friend," telling him like he needed to be reminded._

"_I know that Brooke, but right now she is not in a hospital bed."_

"_She could be if we don't find her. Lucas, please, I know that Peyton is hurt, but she is getting treated as we speak, and your mom is there for her right now. Haley is alone in the dark, in the rain, she is alone, Lucas. And that is what she believes."_

"_I will be back as soon as possible, call me if she comes back."_

"_You have got to be kidding me, Lucas." She thought he was until he turned around and actually left her apartment leaving her standing there bewildered. Did he really just leave to be with Peyton Sawyer when his best friend was out in the dark of night alone in the_ _rain? Lucas at least knew where Peyton was, he had no clue where Haley was. Brooke did not know why, but she was really concerned for her. She didn't care what Lucas said either, no matter the duration of their friendship, Brooke really cared for Haley, and in these past two months, she was able to be who she was, without the mask. And Haley allowed that. She also saw a side of Haley that she had never saw in a person before, and she learned who the really Haley James was. And she was sad._

So unlike Luke who just walked out the door not helping Haley out at all, she walked out the door with the full intention of bringing Haley home…safe. Lucas was wrong about something else though, they had not looked everywhere. Brooke thought that maybe before leaving Tree Hill, Haley would tell Nathan how she really felt. So Brooke got into her Bug, and she drove as fast as she could to the Scott residence. She got out of the car and ran over to the front door, trying to avoid getting wetter then she already was. She knocked on the door, and to her disgust Mr. Scott answered the door. "Is Nathan here?" she asked him hoping that he would not give her a hard time and that Nathan would in fact be there.

"Oh, so you are who he is doing nowadays?"

Brooke really could not believe that he just said that to her, he was a vulgar man, "Honestly, I have barely talked to Nathan in the past two months, there is no way that he would be 'doing' me, so you need to just keep those words in your mouth."

"A feisty one we got here ladies and gentlemen," he said to the invisible crowd that was watching the conversation between the two of them.

"It is an easy question, is he here or is he not?"

"Nathan must be a very popular guy today; you are the second person to come to the door asking for him."

"Wait, has Haley been here?"

"What is it to you?"

"She is missing, I need to find her. Wait, I do not have to tell you anything, is Nathan here? If he isn't you are just wasting my and Haley's time."

"Well I hate to break it to you Mrs. President, but Haley is leaving Tree Hill, I think you just missed her."

"She told you that, you?"

"Yes, that anorexic told me that, now finally my son will be happy, and can move on with his life. That weakling had been dragging him down for the past four months, I take that back, for the last year, he is finally letting go of the mistake that he made."

"Don't you say that. Don't you dare say that about Haley. Nathan and Haley were in love, they still are, I know that it is harder for them to show it right now, but the love is still there. Don't you dare say that their marriage was a mistake. And you know what, it takes two to get married, Nathan, you know the one that you think is all mighty and powerful, yeah, he asked Haley to marry him. He asked her because he loved her. Haley was not a mistake, you need to leave her alone, she is going through enough pain right now," Brooke did not know where all of that came from, but she let it all out.

"Whoa. You are a big fan of Haley's then, because from what I have heard, she does not have that many fans."

"You have no say in this Mr. Scott."

"Hello, that slut married my son, I think I have a lot of say."

This enraged Brooke, so without thought she went to slap Mr. Scott, yes, her intention was to slap her friend's father in the face, but she did not succeed, her arm was held back, and she was not able to slap him. She turned around to see who it was, and it was none other then the infamous Nathan Scott. "I am surprised that you even showed your face," she said pulling her arm back from him.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know what it means, Nathan. Haley, your wife, yeah, you remember her? She is pain, unbearable pain; she lives with it each day, because she believes that you do not love her anymore."

"I still love her," telling her as though that fact was commonly known.

"Oh you do Nathan? You have a really funny way of showing it, 'cause if I knew that the person that I loved the most was suffering pain that I caused them, I would do everything in my power to erase it. I would let that person know that I loved them with all my heart, and the love I have for them, yeah it does not just go away."

"Oh, is that your personal advice?"

"Yeah it is Nathan, what do you have to say about it?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you heeded your own advice. Is that what you tell yourself about Lucas?"

That cut her like a knife, "This has nothing to do with me and Lucas. I know that I hurt him, but he does not live in pain each day because of something I caused him. It is actually quite the opposite. But we are not here to talk about me; this is about Haley right now. Do you know the same news as your dad?"

"Oh, it is good news son, the best news in awhile."

"I am not your son?" he asked sarcastically, giving his father a quick smile.

"Very funny Nathan, that Chris Keller sleeping, wannabe, is out of our lives."

Nathan did not listen to his dad; he turned his attention to Brooke, "What is he talking about? Where is Haley?"

"Your guess is as good as mine Nate. She is missing, I have no idea where she is, or whether or not she is coming back."

"Oh, she is not. She told me to say goodbye to Nathan for her. I thought it was very noble of her to actually tell you this time."

"Gone for good?"

Brooke could see that Nathan did not want that to be the truth, but maybe it was too late for Nathan to show feelings again for Haley. It was not fair for him to suddenly show affection for her when she is no longer in his reach, "What if she is Nathan? I mean you had two months, 60 days, 60 days that she has dreaded getting up. But she did, every time, hoping that today would be the day that you loved her again. You had two months to let her know, and you didn't. You let her live each day regretting that she followed her dreams, and now she is gone and there is nothing that you can do now. It is too late Nathan. You lose this time."

"She is not gone Brooke, where did she go then?"

"Haley left Karen's café a couple of hours ago, telling us that Tree Hill was a heartbreak town and her heart could not afford to break anymore. She left, and she hasn't returned home since. It is raining, it is cold, and Haley is missing. And Nathan, as much as you do not want to take any credit for this, you could have prevented this. This is your fault. Haley is gone because of you, because you were the one who caused her heart to break a little more with each day."

"She walked out on him for crying out loud. How can you really side with the girl? She had one obligation and that was to be a wife to Nathan, one obligation and she failed that. Let her leave Tree Hill, she doesn't belong here anyway."

"What do you have to say in all of this Nathan?"

"If she is gone, then there is nothing I can do," he looked directly into Brooke's eyes when he said this, and he caught her disbelief. "You are right, Brooke. I lost. Game over. Let's move on with something called the real world."

"You know what Nathan? I thought you were better then this, I saw beyond your cockiness, I saw beyond your anger and cruelty, but I never, I never thought that you would abandon Haley in her time in need. But you know what else?"

"What Brooke? Enlighten me please."

"I was wrong about you. You are no better then your father, you are just a bastard like the rest of them. Go to hell Nathan," she yelled at him, stared him down, and then she left, left them standing there in disbelief, disbelief that she really just said that to him. But she did. And now it was her against the world. Her against the world until she found Haley, so that she could protect her from its cruelty. Until then, they were both alone.


	13. Chapter 13

Brooke did not know where to go from here. Where could she have possibly gone? At first she thought possibly the tutor center because that is where they first met. Nevertheless it was a Saturday and Tree Hill High was closed. Then it hit her, Brooke knew the only place that she could possibly be.

_It was not like her to break down, especially not in front of Brooke Davis, but the tears just fell from her eyes without her consent. Haley had been living with Brooke for a week now, she was in need of a roommate, and Haley was homeless, so despite their differences, they were perfect for roommates. For the entirety of the week, Haley had slept on the couch; she just was not ready to sleep in the bedroom that Haley and Nathan once shared, alone. She hadn't even step a foot in there, she did not have that much things, unlike Brooke, so the things that she did have, she asked Lucas to put in there for her. She had a suitcase still of clothes, and she was basically living out of it. But today everything changed. She had run out of clothes, and this was a sign to her that she needed to settle in, no more living out of her suitcase, this was the most permanent thing going for her right now. Permanency…that is something she sure lacked. _

_Brooke was in her room when she suddenly heard sobs, sobs like she had never heard before, and they were coming from the living room. Brooke befriended Haley a while back, months before the whole disappearing act, and Brooke really saw a friend in Haley. And since they were friends, Brooke was obligated to make sure that she was okay. She knew that she wasn't, but up until today, she was hiding it pretty well. Other then the fact of living out of a suitcase and sleeping on the couch, Haley emotionally was doing better then most thought in these circumstances. Brooke figured that this was due to that fact that she did not want everyone in her business, always asking her if she was okay. This was something that Brooke knew that Haley wanted to deal with by her self… alone. Nevertheless, heaving sobs is not something that one, no matter who that person is, can handle alone, "Haley what's wrong?" Duh, stupid question. But there was no other question to ask when you are face to face with a sobbing girl. _

_Though she could not speak, her actions said enough for her. Haley held up a picture, a torn picture. Brooke grabbed it from her, and noticed that it was from Haley and Nathan's wedding day. No one was there, well other the Haley's parents. And Brooke knew that Haley regretted not having her friends present, but she would never regret marrying Nathan on that day. Haley looked gorgeous, the prettiest that Brooke had ever seen her. The innocent, tutor girl look was gone, and Brooke saw a woman, a woman ready to be with the man she loved the most for the rest of her life. Nathan was happy too, and Brooke had known Nathan for years, this was the happiest that she had ever seen him. They looked into each other eyes and they saw forever. But one thing that threw Brooke off was the tear, the tear that strategically spilt down the middle of the photo. Almost signaling the end for the loved ones. Brooke looked from the picture to Haley, and something was not right. Haley could have never had done this, and if she did, then why would she be so upset about it? "What happened?"_

_Haley regained enough composure to speak a little bit, "I had this picture with me always, no matter what city we ended up in, I had it by my side. I held onto it until I had to go on stage. I slept with it by my nightstand at night. If we were traveling, I made sure that it was always in my suitcase, always in this pocket," Haley showed her which one it was, "I just thought that since we were not together in one place, that whenever I had this picture, it would remind of the day that we vowed to love each other forever. Everyday I woke up and he was not beside me, I looked at this picture, telling me that forever was a long time, and if we were apart for a little bit, then it was okay, because we had forever to spend with each other. As long as this picture was here, it reassured me that we would be. Now look at it," she felt more tears fall down her face, not caring anymore. "I take it out, and it is like a sign telling me that forever is really not that long. And it was a mistake and I was naïve to ever think that it was. The last time I saw this picture it was in one piece, Nathan and I were one. Now look at it, we were never really one. It was a mistake for me to thing that love was forever. I was too young for marriage, I was too stupid. If love really lasted forever, then Nathan and I would be together right now. Not torn apart like this picture. This is a sign telling me, we were never meant to be, and people like Dan Scott, they were right. Nathan really never loved me."_

_Brooke looked at the picture again, then back at Haley once more, "You are not stupid. Don't you ever say that. You are Tutor Girl, the smartest girl that I know," she tried to lighten the mood. _

_It didn't work, "Math and History, Physics, Spanish…they mean nothing to me. Because I can read a thousand books for school, but none of them will teach me how to mend a broken heart."_

_Brooke remembered what Lucas had told her, but she never thought that Haley was this broken inside. _Quickly back to reality, that was the last time Lucas stepped foot in her apartment._ "You were in love Haley. No matter what anyone tells you, you were. Yeah, you were young. But sometimes if you are lucky, you are able to find the person you want to spend your life with at 17. The rest are just jealous. They don't have what you have."_

"_Had Brooke, had. It is over, look at the picture, we were not meant to be," she grabbed the picture and she ripped it the rest of the way, surprising Brooke._

"_Haley, do not give up on love."_

"_Why Brooke? Why not? Because it has apparently given up on me."_

"_I haven't."_

"_That beach, Brooke, that beach, he swore to me if it would ever wash away, he would still be loving me. The beach is still there, and we aren't together. If the beach washes away Brooke, find me on that day, and if Nathan doesn't love me, I am giving up on love, okay? You can be my witness." Haley got up and recomposed herself, "I am going to go for a walk, I promise when I get back, I will clean things up and settle in."_

"_Okay, but first I just want to let you know that it is going to take a long time for a beach to wash away. Are you willing to wait?"_

"_I have nothing else to live for Brooke. Why don't I just live to watch love fade away, there is nothing else to do anymore."_

"_Please, please stop thinking like that, you are worrying me. No one should have those thoughts Haley. I am not telling you that it isn't hard, because it is, harder then anything a 17 year old should have to go through, but you have to live each day for you. Not for the love that you do not think exists anymore."_

"_I will be back in a little bit," she said not wanting to face Brooke's words._

"_I am here for you."_

"_That is all I need to know," Haley left and Brooke looked down at the torn picture on the side table, Haley and Nathan's hands were still embraced on one half of the picture…was this a sign?_

It had been raining practically the whole entire week, especially today, and as much as Brooke did not want to admit, with this amount of rain, a beach could very possibly wash away. There was not that many people on the roads because of the weather, so Brooke took advantage of this and sped as fast as she could to Tree Hill's beach. And as much as she wanted to find Haley and see that she was safe, she really did not want to find her at the beach. Brooke got out of her car, and ran over to the rocks that Haley had once led her to, and it was there that she was brought face to face with pure devastation, something that no one could ever put into words.

_She remembered that day; she remembered that day that she broke down in front of Brooke. She remembered every word that they exchanged, so after the worst talk possible, the one with the worst goodbyes, she knew that there was only one place that she could go. Though so told Mr. Scott she was leaving Tree Hill for good, at the current time there was no way that she could physically or mentally do so. Well without doing one thing; see the place that held the spot of Nathan and Haley's becoming one. Though each day was a struggle, she still woke up with a glimmer of hope that it all, or life, rather was just a long nightmare. She was going to wake up and she was going to be in Nathan's arms, and everything was going to be okay. But she went back to reality, and she was walking in the rain, there was nothing on her body that was not wet, she was soaked. But it did not even fathom her, she just keep on walking, walking to the place that held her only ounce of hope. _

_It took her awhile to walk there, and with each step she began getting colder and colder. She was a thin girl, there was nothing keeping her warm during this storm, especially since she rushed out of the café without her jacket. When she finally got there she saw the sign, she remembered she told her parents to take a picture of it, Tree Hill Beach, "Never ending…" But what was it that was never going to end; she always wondered that, at the point of her wedding day, she truly believed that it was love. Today she was not as sure. She continued to struggle as she walked through the sand, her feet dragging; she thought later that maybe it was a sign, a sign telling her that she did not belong where her feet were taking her. They were rocks that were blocking her destination. She climbed them, slowly, and steady, she peered over them, and…and…and._

Lucas thought that both his mom and Brooke were overreacting. He knew Haley better then anyone, and there was no way that she would be walking around in this rain aimlessly. She was okay; I mean that is what he was pretty sure of. Yeah, she was sad that Nathan did not show his love for her anymore. But his best friend was not completely gone like the two women in his life were trying to make it seem. She was fine…wasn't she? He had to think now, think about his friend in the past two months. She sang her Friday nights at Tric, and she was happy, she was. Wasn't she? He thought about each performance, the look in her eyes, and the words that she sang. As he thought about it more, though she was doing what made her happy, there was pain in her eyes. Pain from the fact that she loved it more then almost everything, almost more then everyone, but the one that she loved the most. The one she was willing to give her passion up for, was not with her, was not loving her. The words, the words were not any better, they were encased with pain, and they were encased with sorrow. Why hadn't he noticed this earlier? Where had he been? He had been to every single one of her shows, but why did it take for her to be missing for him to realize how much pain that she lived in? And why did it take Brooke Davis to tell him the truth, Haley's truth, for him to realize his best friend needed him?

He thought again, he pictured her once more. She was involved with a lot of things, I mean she went back to the tutoring, that made her happy right? Then it hit him. She met Nathan at the Tutoring center, how could this possibly be easy for her? It was a constant reminder of what she did not have; it was a constant reminder that he was gone. It must have been awful to have to go there each day, trying to make a difference in the lives of the kids that she was tutoring, when she was the one that needed a tutor. A tutor to tell her how to live each day, how to live it with a forced smile, letting the world know that she was okay, when she really wasn't. She was still doing well in school, her depression was not letting her schoolwork get in the way, but that meant nothing. Haley was a smart girl; her intelligence was not just going to disappear. Then something else hit him, something that Brooke said, that he just brushed off. "Luke, she hasn't been eating, she is losing weight." He had lunch with her everyday, everyday and it did not hit him until now that she was not one of those girls just not to eat. She never gave a damn about what anyone else ever thought of her, there was no way that she was trying to impress someone by losing weight. And what weight? There was no weight for Haley to lose; she was already small enough as it was. But Luke thought about all those lunches that she was just pick at her food, nibble a little bit here and there, and then throw it away. She did this almost everyday, and Lucas just made fun and called her a mouse.

He had to find her, she was not doing well, and he had been doing nothing to help her out. He possibly could have made it worst. How could he leave his best friend stranded in the world alone and go see someone that he knew was safe? Even if it was for a couple of hours, and yes, Peyton needed as many people as possible right now, but like Karen had said, she was safe, she was getting looked after right now. And as much as he hated to admit it, at least he knew where she was. Unlike Haley.

He sped back to Brooke's, not knowing if either would be there, and not knowing what to do if they weren't. He got out of the car and he found two notes attached to the door. One was addressed to Haley, while the other was addressed to him. He grabbed his, and opened it up.

This is what it said: I am disappointed in you Lucas. I really am. The reason I admire you so much is for the fact that you never leave when someone is down, no matter what that person has done to you. I mean you rescued Dan Scott out of a burning building after everything that he has done and the hell he has caused you. You never fail to find the good in people. But you know what? There was no need to search for the good in Haley; you knew as much as I do, the good is all inside of her. And of all the people in your life, Lucas, she has done nothing but love you as a friend and you leave when she is in most need. We are losing her as I write this to you; she could possibly be already gone. And I am not saying you caused this, because we already know the breaker of her heart, but you could have been the mender. If you are reading this, it hopefully means that you have come to the realization that your best friend needs you, and hopefully when you are reading this, there is still time left to save her. You hurt me Lucas; you hurt me when you said those words to me. Haley is my friend, no matter what I have put her through; she is still there for me, no matter when I need her. And I do not care about the duration of our friendship, I know her well enough to know she cannot do this alone any longer. I do not know where she is, but you know what? I am going to find her. It might be nice for the person that has known her for 'like a decade' to be there by her side as well. I don't know Luke. Is it too much to ask? Brooke. P.S. I know that you love her Luke, we all do. We do not want to lose her to this heartbreak. If you find her first let her know that no matter how much the heart breaks, that it can and will be put back together. Unhappiness cannot last forever. Tell her that there are too many people that care about her and want her to be happy. She deserves the best, and for this day forward, I vow to try and help that occur.

Brooke was a good person. Lucas already knew that. He was just disappointed that it has taken him this long to really admire the person that Brooke was, not just frown upon the person that she acted as. He needed to look deep inside and see that person. And today reading that note, he really got a glimpse of her, he just wish that more people were able to see it, and he just wished he let her be that person more often.

He glanced at the other envelope, the one addressed to Haley. And he really wanted to know what she would say to her. So he opened it, and it read: Haley, if you are reading this. Thank God you are safe, please go inside and find a note on your bed. Lucas if you are reading this, have you ever heard of something called privacy, this is addressed to Haley. Stop wasting your time reading a letter addressed to your best friend, when you could be out there searching for her. Go. Lucas had to chuckle briefly, she was a humorous girl. But she was right, he could not be standing there reading Haley's letter when she was missing. He was not coming back until he found her, no matter how long it took. No matter how late it was, or how far he had to travel. Haley meant the world to him, and it would be very lonely with out her in it.


	14. Chapter 14

Peyton began to stir a little bit, and Karen got up from her seat and went over to her, hoping that she would wake up. "Peyton, it is okay, you are safe."

"Karen?"

"Yeah, it is me sweetheart."

"What are you doing here?"

"Do you not remember?"

"I know that you called 911 and came with me, but I did not know that you were going to stay."

"You really thought that I could leave you here?"

"I don't know. A lot of people would, that is all."

"Well I am not that kind of person. I care about you. You were in trouble, no one was by your side, and I wanted to be the person that was."

"I pushed you away."

"Not far enough."

"Why though? Why are you still here?"

"Because as much as I do not want to admit it, there are not a lot of people that are still by your side Peyton, you pushed a lot of people away."

"Not you apparently."

"No you didn't. You can try and try, but I always will be here if you need me."

"I don't understand why you are doing this Karen. All I have done is push everyone that cared about me away. I do not want anyone to be around, I do not need anyone. I do not need anyone to be there for me. I am okay on my own."

"If you say so Peyton, because, you were pretty rock bottom from where I am standing. I do not think that I have to remind you that you are in a hospital. A hospital, Peyton, this is where you ended up because you were so fine. And as much as I hate to admit this as well, with the rate you were going with your cocaine intake, I am surprised you were not here earlier for other reasons. That road you were on, it was not a safe one."

"But it took away all the pain that I was feeling."

"Momentarily, Peyton. It did not completely erase the pain, when you came down from that high you were brought face to face with reality. And it was not pretty. You cannot avoid it."

"I think that I did a good job doing what I was doing."

"Are you serious? Cocaine, Peyton, cocaine. That is not you, not at all. And what came with it, Gavin. Gavin is not a good guy, especially not for you."

"He was the only one that did not make me confront the pain going on in my life; he was the only one giving me an outlet for it. And this sounds bad but I knew that he really did not care about me. But at least he wanted to be with me and he was not making me talk about my feelings. I mean what else can I saw? My mother died when I was seven, leaving me motherless in the harsh world growing up, growing through puberty, to learn about boys, sex, and drugs all by myself. Then to top it off, that really wasn't my mom, my parents, wait, not my real parents, my adoptive parents, lied to me my entire life. I never really was theirs; I was this Ellie lady's kid. And I was not good enough. Now after I might have gotten a chance to know her and finally accept that everything does not always go as you think they will, I have to face that she is going to die as well. So that is hopeless."

"Peyton, do not say that. Time is not up with you and Ellie; you still have time to get to know her."

"We have nothing in common."

"She gave you life, I mean that is pretty important, wouldn't you say?"

"She could have taken it back for all that I care."

"Don't say that, do not ever say that. Yes, you have been dealt some awful cards, awful to many standards, but you have a lot more then some others out there. Even though you pushed many of them away, you have many people that you can say love you. You are a smart girl, you do well in school. You are talented beyond words. There are a lot of people out there who do not even know who they are, who loves them, or where they belong. You can say that, even if you struggle sometimes. We all struggle Peyton. This world, it is not easy. But you know what; I think that it would just be too boring if life was easy. Great things come to those who struggle, those who wait."

"How long do I have to wait?"

"I think that you have had good things come to you Peyton, through all this adversity, good things have come to you. You have Tric, you love music, all types, and you get to interact with all of these bands, it can take you so far. So you have that. And you have so many friends, so many which care about you and your well-being. And you waited for awhile, and Jake came to you, and he loved you more then most, and he was a good guy, a really good guy that cared about you."

"And then he left. My happiness is brief, and then someone takes it away. I was happy and then God decided that I did not need a mother anymore. I was happy and God decided that Nikki was going to take Jenny away from Jake, and he had to leave me to find his daughter. Who does that? Who only allows happiness for a short amount of time? Because you know what? It is just easier to be unhappy all the time, because looking around for happiness to only get disappointment is no fun anymore."

"So you are just giving up that easily? You are just going to live the rest of your life unhappy? Well then Peyton I think that you just took the easy way out, and if you do not want to fight anymore, I am not going to force you. But I really wish that you would reconsider. And please, do not do this for me, do this for yourself, but think about it. As easy as you think life would be not changing your emotion, it is so much better to be happy at times."

"Well Karen, I will let you know when that happens, because the life that I am living right now is just not my friend."

"Okay Peyton, I will take that. But there are still things that we need to talk about, there are still things that must change in your life. Because one emergency room scare is not going to be enough to pull you away from the drastic path you are on."

"Karen, I am okay."

"If I hear that one more time, I do not know what I am going to do. Brooke tells me she is okay, and she hides who she is from the world. That is not okay, Peyton. Haley tells me that she is okay, when she has a broken heart that does not look like it is going to mend anytime soon. Yeah, she is so okay that right now she is missing, me not knowing whether she is coming back again, or if she is ever going to be okay again. So Peyton, please do not tell me that you are okay, because I can write a book on 'not okay.'"

Peyton took advantage of Karen's quick change in subject, "Haley is missing?"

"Yeah, Haley is missing, I have no idea where she is, no one does. She left the café after the confrontation with Gavin claiming that Tree Hill was only full of heartache. She told me that she couldn't take it anymore."

"Well then she is worst off then I am, I am not taking drastic measures like running away from it all, I have accepted it, and I have taken it in."

"So what are you trying to say, that Haley is a coward?"

"She has a tendency to run away from things when things are not perfect in the world, I mean that is just what I see."

"Oh and turning to cocaine is so much better then running away from it all," Karen was not going to be Peyton's best friend right now and let her say whatever she wanted to say, or whatever she thought was the truth, just because she was in a hospital bed. No, Karen cared about her way too damn much to just pretend.

"I accepted that this is how my life had turned out, Haley couldn't."

"You really surprise me Peyton, you really do. You and Haley used to be friends, good ones at that. I have known Haley for ten years, ten years, I know more about her then you ever will, she tells me everything. And your friendship was something that she valued a lot. And now it means nothing to you, nothing at all. Everything that you once had you just threw away because you didn't agree with her on one thing."

"Nathan is my friend, she hurt him."

"What about Haley? Wasn't she your friend as well? And what about what Nathan has done to Haley? He has gone beyond vendetta to hurt her. Yes, Haley left on a tour bus, thus leaving him. But she was following her dreams, and I think Nathan was selfish not to support her. Nevertheless the two of them were married, they held a sacrament between them, and she broke it by leaving. So I understand that she hurt him. But she tried to stay in contact with him, but he would not give an inch. After two months she could not take it anymore, she returned knowing that things would not just fall back into place, but with hopes that they could work it out, because she loved him. Haley knows that she hurt Nathan; she has lived with it every day for the past four months. But he has shown nothing but cruelty towards her, no one should have to hurt this much from a mistake that they recognize that they made. I know that you are not friends with her right now, but have you seen her lately? You were friends with her once, is that girl still there? You and Gavin have put her through added hell; I think that she has had enough."

"Me? I never did anything to her Karen."

"Okay, maybe it is what you haven't done then. You haven't been her friend; you definitely have not been there for her. And I think that your boyfriend has done enough damage to her himself."

"I think that she deserved to feel some of the pain that Nathan felt."

"I think that she has surpassed that Peyton. She has gone through enough."

"Okay. But I am not just automatically going to be friends with her again."

"I never thought that you were. I just think that you need to be more understanding of the situation. Haley lives in constant pain, as do you, I just thought that you could recognize that and be more compassionate, that is all."

She changes subjects again, seeing how long she can possibly avoid the subject of herself, "You really believe in her, don't you?"

"I do Peyton. As do I in you and as do I in Brooke."

"You sure care about other people's kids."

"No one else seems to. I am not going to let each one of you wake up each morning thinking that you are alone in this world, because you aren't. I am here for you, no matter what, especially no matter how much you try and push me away. I am going to try even harder to break those barriers and help you through whatever you need me to."

"But why? Why do so much for someone else's kid? I mean isn't that what parents are for?"

"Because I vowed since my adolescence that I would, and it was something that no one ever did for me, and I never wanted any one else to feel how I felt. I just hope that I am doing a good enough job."

"I think you are. There are so many days that I just do not want to get up, just say the hell with it, the hell with this life, there is nothing else to live for. But I don't because I know that no matter how hard it is to get up, that if I don't, you are going to be on my case. And I do not want that. You can laugh or think that means nothing, but honestly it means that I know that you care. And I cannot speak directly for anyone else, but I know that they feel it as well. You have made a difference in the lives of so many people Karen. I am just lucky that I am one of them."

"Not in all though," she said as she saw who was on the caller ID of her phone: Brooke, "Hello…" she repeated when she could not make out the voice, "Hello, Brooke are you there?" it appeared to sound like some one was crying on the other end, "Brooke, what is wrong? Are you okay?"

"Karen…Karen…I don't know what to do, she did not want me to call for help, so I called you, I knew that you would know what to do."


	15. Chapter 15

_Brooke wasn't going to lie, when she first saw Haley, she thought she was dead. She was in a ball laying in what was left of the sand, water kept coming up over her. Brooke ran faster then she ever had over to Haley, praying to any and all gods that she was alive, "Haley, Haley," Haley heard her name called and emerged from her fetal position, "Thank God I found you, do you know how many people are worried about you?" Nevertheless she said this long before she knew the damage already done. And at the rate that life was going for Haley right now, maybe she never really wanted to be found at all. _

_Brooke noticed that Haley was shivering, she was shivering and she was sobbing, "C'mon we have got to get you out of here," she said tugging on her arm, Brooke felt her bone, and her arm was limp, "I am going to call 911," it seemed like everyone was calling it today, she pulled out her phone._

"_Nooooo," it was the first thing that she said since Brooke had found her._

"_Haley, you are sick, you need to get checked out, you need to get better."_

"_There is nothing wrong."_

"_Denial maybe," Brooke had to step back and absorb the picture in front of her and then it hit her, the beach was gone, the beach was gone, and on this day Haley vowed to stop believing in love. "Haley, listen to me, listen to me. Beaches do not just wash away. This is a fluke. It takes years, hundreds of years to wash away. Do not let this change your perception of love."_

"_I told you, I told you. I give up Brooke, I give up on love, this is no fluke. This is a sign, a sign telling me that I had no business ever believing in love," with those words Haley fell into unconsciousness, it just hurt too much to say awake facing reality. Her unhappy ending reality._

_Brooke didn't know what to do; she told Haley she wouldn't call 911, well not directly anyways. She picked up her phone and called the one person she knew who would know what to do._

"Brooke, Brooke, did you find Haley?" Karen asked her trying to get a calm answer out of her.

"Yeah, but I don't think she wanted me to."

"What do you mean?"

"She is in bad shape, Karen."

"Let me talk to her, put her on the phone."

"You can't."

"Why? Will she not talk to anyone? Put her on the phone, Brooke, she will talk to me," she knew Haley better then she knew herself sometimes, and right now she was not going to baby anything, she would tell her the truth, and that is what she needed to hear.

"You can't Karen, you really cannot talk to her, she is unconscious."

"Well then I really do not think that she has a say in whether you get her help or not," Karen informed her trying to remain as calm as possible, she could not let her fear slip through, she did not want to scare Brooke anymore then she knew she already was.

"I cannot break my word."

"Brooke, there is a time that you must. Where is Lucas? Let me talk to him."

"I am sorry, Karen, I do not know where your son is. He walked out of the door over an hour ago when his best friend needed him the most. I have no idea where he went, but I can tell you that I do not understand him right now. I am sorry."

"No need to apologize Brooke. I did not understand it either. I saw him though; he showed up here, he needed to see if Peyton was alright."

"Karen, you know I care about Peyton, I really do. But right now she is in a lot better state, even with everything that is going on in her life, then Haley. Haley could really use him right now, and I do not think that I am going to make the cut," at this point Haley was in her arms, Brooke just stared at her, this is when she saw a lost girl, Haley was a girl lost.

"Don't say that, Brooke, you do, and you are and have been Haley's backbone for a while now. We would have lost her a long time ago if it wasn't for you. Yeah these past two months have been rough, rough for everyone, but with these two months Haley has found an amazing friend in you. She knows who you are, the real Brooke, not the one you show to the world, the one you have been trying to hide she already knows and would be able to trace it back for you if you ever forgot. You are the only one there for her right now. You have the power to save her. Get her away from the place she fears, take her somewhere safe."

"I don't think that there are any of those places left."

"You'll find it. I am going to take Peyton home, and then I will give you a call to see how things are going. Be strong Brooke, if you have to, let your tears flow, if you are scared, just remember you are not alone. I know the person you are, you can do this. Haley will not lose to this, she is going to be okay," though she tried so hard to not let a tweak of emotion slip into her voice, they failed her because she feared for Haley's life, she feared that she was not going to be able to come out from this, she feared that she would not be able to save her from it.

"Karen?"

She recomposed herself, "Yes, Brooke?"

"Haley is going to be okay," Brooke told her to reassure, "She is stronger than anyone we know. Don't give up on her." It was now Brooke reassuring Karen, the adult, that Haley was going to make it through this. Brooke knew that Karen was trying to be strong, be strong for Brooke, and be strong for everyone else; she was even trying to be strong for herself. It was hard to see someone who she viewed as almost a daughter going through the pain Haley was experiencing. And there were some days that no one would know the difference if she was or not.

"I am not going to."

"I have got to call Lucas; he will know what to do. I love you, Karen."

"I love you too." She put the phone down, and she couldn't hold them back, a tear gate burst. Peyton looked on as the older woman cried before her; it was not something that she saw everyday. Peyton has been pretty apathetic to the world lately, not really caring either way what others thought, or even how she felt. But with Karen breaking down – the strongest woman that she had come across – Peyton felt something that she hasn't felt in a long time – emotion. There has got to be a lot of pain in the world if the strongest woman alive was breaking down. Peyton did not really know what to do, she was still in a hospital bed, and she could not just go comfort her. And that would be so out of character of the new person that she had become. But there has got to be a point where you go the hell with everyone else's perception of you. It doesn't matter if you have changed, everyone changes, some with the new sunrise, but that means you have the ability to do it over and over. Karen had been there for her more then anyone in this world, well at least since her mother died, and no one was ever there for her like that. Peyton was an adult just as much as Karen was; it was an adult situation going on as they spoke. Pain was being spread and heartache was being felt, and there was no one with enough power to stop it all.

"Karen…" she did not know what to really say, I mean she just interrupted the woman's cries, was it her place to do this? Who really has the right to stop someone from letting their emotions flow?

Karen was brought back into reality, she was not alone, someone else was in the room, someone that did not need to see her tears flow, someone that did not need to see her break down. She needed to be strong, strong in the presence of those who felt weak, if she broke down, then she had no right telling anyone else to be strong, when she could not do so during one tragedy. She wiped her tears away, "I am sorry, Peyton."

"Haley is going to be okay."

"I want to say that she is going to, I mean who I am to tell you that she is not going to make it through this, it would mean I have no faith in her. I do, she is strong, and I know she is, because I have seen her at her strongest. But Peyton, I have never seen her like this; I have never seen her at her weakest."

"Yeah, but Karen she has something that a lot of people going through a rough time doesn't have."

"What is that?"

"She has you."

Karen was touched to tears, which meant a lot to her to have some one tell her that she was making a difference in the life of someone else. She did not want to take any credit, which was not her intention; it was just nice to have someone else recognize it. "I hope that it will be enough."

"Karen, Karen, you are basically going through two crisis right now, I mean you have always been there for me, and I pushed you away so I can live a life of crack cocaine. You are the only constant in my life; you care about me too much not to be. And then you have someone that everyone can see that you have love for just when she enters a room in your presence. You care about her so much that you would sacrifice anything for her. Haley is going through something right now, yet you are still there for her."

"Peyton, it is more then something. I still do not think that you realize how severe of a broken heart she has."

"You are right, but that is not my point right now. My point is that you are there for her during her crisis, you are here for me during mine, and you are still an amazing mother to Lucas. You still have two businesses to run; with out my help sometimes, might I add. I mean you have your own family, your own life, and you are still constant in ours. And we never asked for it, you just do it, unconditionally."

"That is what love is, Peyton."

"Well not many people show it like you, which is all that have to say."

"It is all that I know. I want to be able to live knowing that the people that I love know that I do so. If you ever feel like giving up, I want you to know that I am going to be here to pick up all the pieces. I just want to be there when no one else is."

"You are."

"As much as I want to say yes, I am always there, I cannot. Something is not right when the three girls that I care about the most struggle to get up each morning."

"Three?"

"Brooke, remember her? As much as you would not like to admit it, she is not in any better place then you or Haley. She just is not showing it as drastically."

"Brooke Davis has emotions? Are you sure about that? Because the Brooke Davis I know cares about one person…herself."

"You really disappoint me when it comes to other people's emotions, Peyton. I care about you and how you are doing. But where have you been in the last two months for you to have a say about what Haley and Brooke feel. And I know that you are not talking to Brooke right now, but you and she were best friends once, I know that you know more about Brooke then just caring about herself. Everyone has emotions Peyton, everyone has bad days, and everyone has their demons that they fight each day. Not everyone puts it on their sleeve for the world to see though."

"You have got one thing right, Brooke and I used to be best friends, as in the past, as in the past is done."

"Has everyone in this world done something to hurt you? Are you against everyone?"

"When I needed her the most, she was not there for me, which is all that I have to know, what kind of friend is she?"

"One that has her own demons to fight. A friendship is a two way relationship; you are both supposed to help each other through it."

"My world was falling apart and she was in the arms and bed of Felix. I needed her the most and she was with some guy that she barely knew."

"I know Peyton; I know that she was not there for you. But you have got to look deeper sometimes, look a little deeper into her life. Who is there for her? Where are her parents?"

"Hey, my mom is dead and my dad is out to sea, so do not throw the no parent card on me, I am going through the same thing."

"Yeah, but you know what, your parents have shown love to you. You have known Brooke longer then I have, can you honestly say that Brooke's parents let her know that they love her. She is pretty much alone in this world, and she has a need to have someone, anyone in her life, if they are willing to be there. Felix was willing to be there. And I am not trying to say that you didn't need her, because I know that you did, but there is something deeper in Brooke Davis, that a lot of people do not know about."

"She never let on that she was alone, she always seemed happy. I mean she is class president, captain of the cheerleading squad, school slut…I mean she knows everyone, how could she feel alone?"

"Just because she is in the presence of people does not mean that she is able to feel anything, sometimes you need more then just a group of people surrounding you, sometimes you need something that is deeper. And she just has not been feeling it. C'mon, Peyton, you have been best friends with her for years, you are going to try and sit there and tell me that you have only ever seen one side of Brooke. She has always been a happy go lucky kind of girl?"

"Well she was not too happy when Lucas cheated on her with me," she added a small laugh, how dare she? But then again, Peyton is not going to just change back into the person that she was, the person that she is, is still going strong. She doesn't care about other people and what they are or aren't feeling. Brooke felt pain, oh well; she had felt a lot more in her life.

"Are you really laughing about that? You were her best friend, best friend, and you went behind her back and dated Lucas, the guy that held her heart. You know that she doesn't give that out to just anyone. Honestly, not that many people have actually seen it, but Lucas did, and you took that away from her."

"I cannot change the past, I am sorry."

\"Yeah, well you can change the future; it has yet to be written. Just remember she has feelings too, she feels pain just like you, and right now she is going through a worse time then you could ever imagine."

_Peyton thought back for a moment, Brooke and Peyton had been friends since well the day that her mom died. They were both little girls, neither knew how to deal with tragedy or the loss of a parent. All that they knew was that Peyton's mom was not going to walk through that door again, she had gone to a better place, and she would always be looking down over Peyton. Peyton got called to the office, and the teacher told Brooke to go with her. When Peyton got to the office she saw her dad, so she ran to him, but he did not pick her up like he always did. He looked at her, and she looked back at him and she noticed that his eyes were sad. She asked him what he was doing here, that her mommy was supposed to pick her up today. He didn't say anything, Peyton was scared. Brooke watched on as the whole thing was going on, she couldn't move from her place, she had never seen a man so upset, and she had never seen a father love a daughter as much as he did. She could run away for five years and her parents wouldn't know the difference. _

_Peyton's dad did not know how to tell a seven year old that the person that she loved the most in the world was gone forever. How do you do that? But he found a way, "Honey, I have got to tell you something, but you have got to promise me something, please do this for Daddy," Peyton nodded her head, always obeying what her father told her to do, "Please do not cry when I tell you the next thing, it is good news." Peyton was confused to why she would cry then, but she just nodded her head. "Mommy is going to live with the angels."_

_The young girl then wondered, what about her, "What about me? Can I live with the angels too?"_

_That is when this grown man broke down, there was no way that he could handle that response from his precious little daughter knowing that the only way for her to live with the angels was for him to lose her as well. And that was just not something that he could handle right now. _

"_Daddy, this is a good thing, you told me, no tears for good things."_

"_You are right, sweetheart. But I am just sad that I never got to say goodbye."_

"_Daddy, how far away are the angels? Do you think that we can visit her sometimes?"_

_Each question broke the father's heart, "It is kind of far away."_

"_Well we will just have to take a plane, which is what we do when we visit Nana and Pop in Washington."_

"_I think that it might be too far for even a plane."_

"_I know where she is," Brooke spoke from her place in the corner._

"_Where?" Peyton really wanted to know where her mother had gone._

_Brooke was matured beyond her years, even at seven, she was forced to grow up a long time ago, when her parents basically decided that she was a mistake to them, "She is in Heaven."_

"_Heaven is where the angels live?"_

"_Yup, Peyton your mom is lucky. Don't be sad, she is going to have such a wonderful time, but don't worry she will always think of you. And she really is never that far away, you know why?"_

"_Why? My daddy said she was."_

"_Watch this," Brooke put her hand over her heart, "I can feel her."_

"_Feel who?" Peyton wondered._

"_My grandmother is in Heaven, and every time I put my hand over my heart, I can feel her. You try; I bet you can feel your mom."_

_Peyton did what she said, "I feel her, I feel Mom in my heart. She isn't far Dad, I do not need a plane or even a car, she is always going to be with me."_

_Larry Sawyer was in bafflement, did another seven year old really made sense of this whole situation for his daughter. She did it better then he could have ever imagined. It was then that he vowed for her to be apart of their lives, he did not know a thing about her, but he was going to keep her around. Larry informed Brooke that over the next couple of weeks Peyton was going to need a friend badly; he asked her if she was willing to be that person. She agreed partly because she liked Peyton, but another reason was so that she was not so lonely. "Do you think that your parents are going to allow it?"_

"_Of course they are," Brooke was not going to give this man a biography of her short life; no one really knew about of her home life, or rather lack of it. Nevertheless, over the next couple of years, the Sawyers figured it out. Brooke soon had more clothes at Peyton's house then her own. It was nice sometimes to have someone else around. But Brooke never wanted to be a hassle or a hardship to anyone, she made sure that when it was getting to be an extended stay, that she stepped back and lived in her hell for awhile. She never wanted to be a burden, well more then the one that she already knew she was to her own parents. As they got older, more into their pre-teen and teenaged years, Brooke broke a way a little bit and got really involved in boys. She was in fact getting a lot of love and attention from the Sawyers, but she needed an outlet somewhere else._

_Brooke informed Peyton that things were working out better with her parents, that was the reason for her reoccurring absences on rituals events. Peyton believed her, because she wanted her best friend to be happy. She played this lie for the next four years. It was not until the day of Brooke's sixteenth birthday that she realized how horrible her home life really was. _


	16. Chapter 16

_Brooke was throwing herself a huge Sweet Sixteen party, her parents had unknowingly supplied the money for it, and it was her time to shine for once. Brooke told Peyton that her parents had paid for everything, because they had, but not in the same sense. She basically invited the whole school, and about half of it was there. Peyton remembers distinctly the smile that Brooke had permanently plastered to her face. Well that was until her parents came home earlier then expected. That was the first day that Peyton had ever seen Brooke cry, and they had been friends for a long time now, but tears was not Brooke Davis's style. _

_The music was cut off abruptly, and everyone turned to look to see who the doer was, this is when Brooke's laughter ended. Her parents had forgotten that it was her birthday and told her that they would be gone for a week until Sunday. It was Saturday night, they got home early. "What the hell is going on here?" they asked wanting an explanation for all of it._

"_It is my birthday; I just wanted to have a little bit a fun."_

"_How old are you, 13? Why would you ever need a party this big? Is that alcohol?"_

_The party died then, and everyone started to leave, some because they did not want to get caught, others because they thought it was there place to leave. Peyton was the only person to stay behind. _

_When everyone had finally left, Brooke was able to answer her questions, "I am 16, thank you very much. 16. Are you trying to take 3 years away from my life? Do you mind if I choose them?"_

"_You are out of control. Why would you have a party when we were gone?"_

"_Why would I have a party while you were here?"_

"_Do not ask us questions. You are the one that is under questioning, Brooke. We are your parents and you defied us."_

"_Wait, a second, please, someone stop the presses, did you just admit that you were my parents? Are you feeling okay? You didn't eat something on the cruise now did you? Because there has not been one day that I have ever felt like I mattered at all to you. There has not been one day that I have not felt like a burden to you, just a mistake that you made during a night of passion, and I ruined it."_

"_You don't make it any easier on us, Brooke. You are never here, always out late, another guy each week, we cannot control you."_

"_Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me? I am never here? I am never here? When is the last time that you have spent a month in Tree Hill? Two weeks? Yeah, I did not think you could answer that. So how could you tell me what I have or haven't been doing my whole life?"_

"_You are acting like you are the perfect daughter and we are the evil step parents. Look at the house you live in, look at the clothes you wear, we give you everything that you could ever want."_

"_You so sure about that?"_

"_Please, please, tell us what you do not have, that is making Brookie so unhappy," her father actually mocked her. _

"_It is something that you really cannot buy, wait a second I take that back, I bet you probably could if you tried hard enough. So you could say you have given it to me."_

"_What is it Brooke? Please inform us of the one thing that we haven't given you."_

"_Love."_

"_Oh you are right. We can buy that. We will get right on that if it would make your happy."_

_Brooke couldn't take it anymore, she turned to leave, and this is the first time that she noticed that Peyton was still there, she was shocked that she now knew how awful living as a Davis was. She was about ready to walk away when her parents stopped her once more, "Brooke."_

"_What is it now? What can you possibly tell me now?"_

"_Clean up your damn mess, we have guests coming in the morning."_

"_Get the maid to do it."_

"_We don't have a maid on the weekends."_

"_Well maybe you could invest in one," she walked away; she could not possibly hear another word that her parents could possibly tell her. They would just hurt her more. It was her birthday; she was going to cry if she wanted to. You would cry too if it happened to you._

_Brooke looked into Peyton's eyes and then she rushed past her, Peyton followed, not going to let her best friend go through this alone. Brooke heard her following her, "I wouldn't come any closer, I think I might have a love repellent on."_

"_Don't be silly Brooke."_

"_Oh I saw it in the store; I am not making this up."_

"_Well it must not work on everyone."_

"_Why would you say that?"_

"_I love you, and you are not repelling me away."_

"_Thanks for coming to my party, Peyton."_

"_I wouldn't miss my best friend's party for the world."_

"_You know what? I put money on my parents missing it. Oh wait, they already have, I win."_

"_Brooke, I had no idea."_

"_No idea what Peyton? No idea that my parents really hated me that much. That they really know this little about my life, that they could careless about me when I need them, but when I trouble them some how again and again, it is always my fault. Is this what you had no idea about? Did you ever think that maybe it was not something that I like to shout to the world, 'parents don't love me, can I try yours?' yeah I do not know how well that one would go."_

"_I am sorry Brooke."_

"_Please don't be. I mean it is good sometimes, not having anyone on my case, making me make my bed or do my homework."_

"_What about the rest of the times? Like birthdays, graduations, just a night of family fun? Isn't it nice to have parents then?"_

"_I have got your dad for that."_

"_And he is more then happy to do so, but sometimes, it is nice when the person that brought you into the world cares enough about_ _you to keep you in it. I am just sorry that it has taken me nine years to figure out how bad it really was."_

"_How many times in the years that I have known you, have you been over to my house? How many times have my parents dropped me over your house or picked me up? Peyton, I doubt that my parents even know your name. And the answer to those questions is about as many birthdays that my parents remembered, and you know what I don't remember the first three years, so we won't count those. Nine years Peyton, that is a lot of days."_

"_At least you were with me for most of them. I am sorry Brooke, I am sorry that your parents are not there for you, but I am always going to be there, so is my dad, he loves you just as much as he loves me. He considers you another daughter Brooke."_

"_I know that, and the years have been great, they really have. It is nice to know that you are not alone on some days. But on the days that I had to return home, those days I had to go back to my hell, it made me wonder each time, if it was even worth it."_

"_It was Brooke, do not ever think otherwise. My life has been so much better since you have been in it, I do not know what I would do without you. And I know that I am selfish for saying that but it is how I feel."_

"_You know what? Everyday I think, I think how in the world did Peyton and I become friends, and then I remember…"_

"_The day my mom died, you were the one that was able to make it all better; you were the only one that got me to understand. Thinking back now, I should have figured things out earlier, no seven year old should know all of that, you were forced to grow up way earlier then your time. And that is not fair."_

"_Neither is life, Peyton."_

"_But we will make it easier, you and me. Just you and me."_ Peyton was brought back into reality after that flashback, her vision had been blocked or fogged for awhile, she knew Brooke a lot more then just the person she was giving off to the world. There was another person deep down, and deep down in Peyton, she had forgotten all about it. All that she remembered now was that she was alone, but she was strong.

And strong she was. She wiped away her tears; tears would get her no where right now. Tears would not bring Haley back into consciousness. With all of her strength she bent down and put Haley into her arms, it was as if someone had given her the strength to do so, because on any other day, she wouldn't be able to even hold Haley momentarily. And it wasn't because Haley weighed anything; it was because she was a naturally weak girl. But with all of her might, she got Haley over to her car. She maneuvered her into the front seat of her car, and then she pulled out her phone, and dialed the number that she knew by heart, "Lucas?"

"Brooke, I got your letter, I am so sorry."

"Luke, Luke, just stop talking. I found her; I somehow got her into my car. I just do not know if I could ever get her out of it."

"What do you mean? Why can't she do it herself?"

"Because unconscious people do not just get up and walk, Luke."

"She is unconscious? Then why is she not in the hospital?"

"Because she did not want me to call them, and I am not going to go against my word, she means too much to me."

"If she meant anything to you, then you would say the hell with your word, and make sure that she was getting some help."

"Are you really yelling at me Lucas? Are you really going to say that to me? Whatever there is between you and me, please just let it go, this is about Haley right now, she needs her best friend, and you are not here. So do not try and tell me what I am not doing or that I do not care about her, because I am the one with her right now, I am not the one that left her when she was in need."

"Where are you?"

"Oh, right, you wouldn't know, because you were not there the day that Haley broke down in tears vowing that if the beach ever washed away, she would stop believing in love. Want to hear something, Lucas? Today is the day that the beach washed away."

"I will be right there."

"Actually I am already on my away from this place, it is the place that she fears the most, she does not need to be here anymore feeling the pain she was afraid to feel."

"Where are you going?"

"Some place that she feels safe, some place that she had never felt pain."

"Since you know her so well, please tell me where that is, so that I can be with my best friend."

"Your house."

My house? Lucas had to wonder, of all the places in Tree Hill, his house was the safest for her. Brooke was right though, he was just disappointed in himself that he was not able to pinpoint it for her. He really cannot be shouting to the world that he was Haley's best friend, when he hadn't been there for her when the world was caving in. _He thought back when they were younger. Though there was a lot of love coming from her own family, Haley spent almost every night after school at the Roe household. She would have dinner with Lucas and Karen at the café and then Lucas and she would do homework for awhile. Haley always more productive then Lucas, of course. Haley's parents had older siblings that were in high school and some heading to college, she was the youngest and sometimes the attention was just not on her. But Haley was never one to complain, she got more then enough attention from Karen and Lucas. Lucas recalled bad days, good days, sick days, best friend days, all of them were spent together. Haley was a little scrawny girl with glasses, she got made fun of occasionally, but Lucas was always there to pick her up after she fell, or was pushed. Lucas remembered each time, they would go and tell Karen, and she would make sure that she was okay, if not; she would fix her up, and gave them a cookie every single time. Over the years the duo remained friends, Haley was still very involved with her studies, as was Lucas, but he actually found some other friends at the River Court. And he never replaced her, never; she would go with him sometimes and support him while he kicked all of his friends' butts. _

_But things did change when Lucas was asked to join the school's basketball team. That is where life took them in a whirl-wind of events. And one of them held a hold to Haley, and never let her go. If Lucas never joined the team, then Nathan would have never gone after Haley, and Haley would not be living with a broken heart. _This was his fault, the pain that his best friend feels could have been prevented. But the past cannot be rewritten, and this is how the books were already written, there was nothing left to do, then to change the present, and make it a new future.

He rushed home as fast as he could, he was not as far away as Brooke was, the beach was at least 15 minutes away. Then it hit him, she walked there, Haley walked to the beach in the rain, it has got to be at least 5 miles, if that. Lucas had to see her, because the last time he had seen her at her worst, he thought that it couldn't ever get any worse. But at the rate that Brooke was going, he was sure he could not make that assumption.

No one knows if fate planned it this way, but this is how it happened, every single one of the people that were headed towards Karen's house arrived at exactly the same time. It had to be fate, it had to, there was no way that people coming from all different directions, different mileages away, arrive at one house at exactly the same time. But that is what happened. Lucas rushed out of his car first, he ran to Brooke's car, and peered in the window. In the passenger seat laid his best friend, broken. With all of his instincts he thought to take her out of Brooke's car, put her into his, and ride away. Go some place where they could fix her. But Haley was not some broken toy, or a broken bone, there was no place that they could fix an entire person suffering from a broken heart. The only way for the heart to repair is if the person is shown love, and that is what he had to do.


	17. Chapter 17

Karen and Peyton had not said a word since the hospital, there really were no words left to be said, nor were they needed right now. Time would take its toll and eventually every single person in the situation would tell every other person how they feel and everyone will know, and then the world will be good. Wait a second, who were they kidding? Life doesn't work like that, it was going to be a lot harder then that. But for it to work, everyone was going to have to embrace the fact it would take time, a lot of time for them to find some normalcy. Because only God knows that no one could pinpoint any of that in their lives, especially in the last couple of months. Both of them watched as Lucas took Haley carefully out of Brooke's car, it was painful to watch, because as redundant as it seems, the girl was literally broken. One drop and she would break into a million pieces; she was like a china doll. The sad part being, that she wasn't, just a girl with a broken heart that took extreme measures to try and repair it herself. It did not work.

Lucas held Haley tight to him, making sure that he wouldn't drop her; he thought that it would hurt her, but then he realized she was beyond pain. Brooke helped opened the door, and Lucas brought her to a place that she would be safe waking up in, he brought her to his bedroom, and he placed her in his bed. Brooke got some blankets and covered her up, she brushed some hair out of Haley's eyes and it hit her, Haley was soaked, she was going to get sick if she lay in these wet clothes any longer. "We have got to get her out of these clothes; do you have anything that she could change into?"

Lucas went to his dresser and pulled out sweats, the famous Keith's Body Shop, and a pair of sweatpants. Brooke was actually surprised when Lucas was helping her take off Haley's clothes, Lucas noticed her surprise, "I am not going to do anything Brooke, and there is nothing for me to see."

"I know that Lucas, never mind, I know you are a good guy." They got her wet clothes off and Lucas was able to see the skeleton that Haley had really turned in to, she was all skin and bones, she was very fragile. He couldn't look at her like that much longer, "C'mon she must be freezing, lets get this on her."

Brooke watched as pain overcame Lucas's eyes, she knew that he always cared about her, still does, but to see your best friend deeper gone then you could even fathom, it is hard. Brooke knew that feeling to well; it was hard to just sit back while Peyton wasted her life away to cocaine. She shut her out, and there was nothing that she could do to stop it, so she backed away. When she finally tried to re-enter, it was too late, but it hurt because she never thought that it could get that bad.

They got Haley changed, it was sad, it was like she was a doll of some sort, changing her clothes was just a passing melody, no not at all. They laid her down, and Brooke re-covered her up. Lucas stood back and stared at his best friend in his bed, she was tiny, she was broken, and she was alone. And he did not know what to do, he felt like he was not the right person for her anymore, he did not meet her needs right now. "Okay, she cannot wake up alone, I do not want her thinking that she is," he scratched his head.

"She isn't alone, Lucas, we are here for her, you are here for her."

"When she wakes up someone has got to be here to reassure her."

"What are you trying to say, Luke?"

"That you know her a lot better then I do nowadays, you have been with her through out this entire crisis, I think she much rather see your face when she wakes up, then mine."

"So you are going to walk out of her again, Lucas? How many chances do you think that you are going to get with her?"

"I am still here Brooke, I am not walking away from her, I am just going to be in the other room, that is all."

"Why not here? Why don't you sit in here with her, be the first person that she sees when she wakes up?"

"I can't Brooke, I just can't do it."

"Why not Lucas? You are preaching to me how I don't know her, I have only known her for this long, and that you are her best friend, you know her so well. Well no matter how long I have known Haley, I know how much she cares about you. She would want you to be here when she wakes up."

"I am not so sure anymore. I haven't been there for her; I do not know what she is feeling anymore. You do though; you have been there for her through everything."

"Why are you making this a competition between you and me about who have been a better friend to Haley? This is not about who has been there and who hasn't in the past. This is about now, this is about who is here for her now. You are here, Lucas, sit with her, be the first person that she sees, tell her that you love her. Tell her that no, things are not perfect, but nothing is, and this is just another stepping stone on her path of life. Yes, it was a rough one, but she has to jump to the next one, she made it. She is stronger then a broken heart, and stronger then the person who gave it to her. She does not have to mend alone, there are a lot of people that care about her, and are willing to take all the steps necessary for her to be happy again. Whatever it takes."

"Because you are the one with the right things to say, not me. You know what to tell her from letting the world crash in around her. All I do is watch, I do nothing."

"You can though Luke, and just use your own words, you do not have to use mine. Just tell her what you feel, tell her how you feel about her, and tell her how much you love her."

"It is just too hard," Brooke saw the emotion in Lucas's eyes, but she still was not quite sure what was too difficult for him.

"What is Luke?"

"Seeing her in pain," that is when it hit Brooke, he was in denial, and it was too hard for him to think about his friend in need, that he wanted to pretend that it wasn't true. "I do not think that I am strong enough to sit here and watch her, and know that she is not just sleeping, she is in unconsciousness, and she may never wake up. And if it wasn't for me, she would have never have been in this much pain."

"What are you talking about Lucas?" trying to be the strong one in the situation.

"If I never joined the team, then Nathan would have never have gone after her. If I had just accepted that I am from my side of the tracks, and be okay with it, be okay with it just being me and Haley, then she would be okay."

"But Lucas, basketball makes you happy."

"So does seeing Haley happy."

"I know Haley well enough to know that she would never want you not to do something because of her. And you did not know that Nathan would go after Haley in spite of you. So stop saying that, you never know what the future holds for you. And you do not know what Haley's holds for her, or did. Maybe it was fate that brought Haley and Nathan together, that just maybe they were somehow destined to be together, you just got them there a little sooner. Did you ever think of that?"

"But she is still in pain; she is still broken, no matter what her fate was with Nathan."

"As much as you and I want to take away her pain, we cannot do it, it is not that easy. Everyone suffers Lucas; people would be lying if they told you that they didn't. It is a part of life, and suffering cannot last forever. Time is the only factor that we cannot control, and it will take us somewhere, and in this place Haley will be smiling once again. We just have to wait."

Brooke was not the person that she let everyone see, she was much more then that, she knew more about the world then most of the people in it. It had taken her years to figure it all out, but she was one of the lucky ones, and did. With that she was able to accept a lot of more things, mostly that she couldn't change the path that had already been written for her, that she just needed to embrace it, let it bring her to the destination that she longed to find.

"I do not want her to suffer anymore."

"No one does."

"I am sorry Brooke; I cannot just sit here and watch her suffer. I know that is not what you wanted to hear, and that I am being selfish, but I do not know what else to do."

"It is okay, Lucas, I will sit with her for awhile. But if you ever change your mind, she is all yours."

"Okay, there is something that I have got to do." Lucas rushed out of his bedroom, and did not even give his mom a chance to say anything to him, he ran past her without a word.

Karen had led Peyton to the couch, "If there is anything you need, let me know."

"I just want to go home, is that okay?"

"There is no one home Peyton."

"You think I don't know that?"

"I am just saying that you have a concussion, it would be better if you stayed here to night just in case something happened to you."

"I know where Lucas is going, can I go with him?" she asked, not even waiting for a response, she ran out of there, and made it just in time before Lucas drove down his driveway, "Lucas," she called out to him.

He saw her and stopped, wondering what the girl was doing out here, "Peyton, go back inside, you are going to get sick."

"Let me come with you," she had made it over to his truck by now, there was not much that he could do, she noticed his hesitance, "I know where you are going, Luke."

"Get in."

After Peyton and Lucas rushed out of her house, there was only one person left conscious, Karen needed to make sure that she was okay. She went into her son's room, and there was something different about it, and it was not the fact that there was a girl in Lucas' bed, it was something else. And she could just not put her hand on it.

Brooke was holding Haley's hand, just letting her know that she was there, hoping that Haley could somehow feel her and know that she was there. Karen walked in and put a hand on her shoulder, which slightly startled her.

"It is okay, sweetheart."

"I am sorry, sometimes it is scary not knowing what is behind you, that is all."

"Understandable, Brooke, so how are we doing today, Brooke?"

"Fine, I am perfectly fine," Karen noticed that Brooke did not look up at her at all as they spoke; her eyes were concentrated on Haley the entire time.

"Brooke, you have been through a lot today, it is okay for you to tell me how you are really feeling, no matter what it is."

"I am fine, Karen. There are no hidden emotions. No tears necessary, I am good."

"Just because there are not tears, doesn't mean that you are just okay. Brooke, this is a lot to take in, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It has been raining all day long, you have been stuck in it, and you could have caught something. I mean you have seen Haley break down, your best friend get reeled away in an ambulance, and then you were the one that found Haley on the beach. You are the only one that got to see her at the beach, and you are going to have that image in your head, that is not something that is just going to go away with a blink of the eye."

"It is okay, I can take it, and I am glad that I found her Karen. I did not want her to be alone any longer."

"That is not all, Brooke. You saw her at her absolute worst, you saw her in the most pain, and I cannot even fathom that. If I try to even imagine it, I know that it is not even to the magnitude of what it really was. But you saw it, Brooke."

Still holding on to Haley's hand, Brooke turned to look at Karen for the first time since she entered the room, with emotions encased in her voice, "I know I saw it, Karen. And it was awful, I never thought that a person could suffer that much. And no, that image is not just going to erase from my mind, I mean there is no possible way. No person should ever feel like she did on that beach, and it is not fair, it is not fair that kindest girl in the world has to feel the worst pain any human can feel, a heart breaking. But that is not how things work out, good people hurt, and sometimes there is nothing that anyone can do, there is nothing to help those who hurt. But that image in my head, Karen, the one that is never going to go away, it is a reminder to me, that I never want to hurt that bad. I do not think that I could be as strong as Haley was…is." She did not mean to say that, it just slipped, Haley was still there, she was going to be okay, she just had to be. So the tears that she pushed back in, they came out, because there was nothing else for her to do.

Karen put her into her arms, and let her cry. She honestly knew that not that many people have allowed her to do this. With open arms she let ever tear that needed to fall come down, there was no stopping the pain that was being kept inside. And the worst part was that Karen knew that there was something much deeper, much deeper then just the tears for Haley, that Karen had yet to even scratch the surface. "It is alright, Brooke, let it out, no one is stopping you," she rubbed her back, and the tears continued to flow. Karen looked to her right and saw that Brooke still had Haley's hand in embrace, she was not letting go. She could not believe this girl in front of her, Brooke Davis was just a character, a code name, right? Because the Brooke that Karen had come to know, was so much more, so much more then anyone would ever know.

Brooke pulled back and wiped her eyes, "I am sorry, I am okay."

"No need to apologize, it is okay to let your tears flow, it means that the pain is not still left inside, and there is enough of it in there for you to release some of it."

"I am okay, really, just need to release a couple tears," she directed her attention back to Haley, "Wake up for me, Haley, please."

"Brooke, are we not going to talk about this anymore?"

"There is nothing else to talk about it. I am just going to sit here with her, okay?"

"Of course," she did not want to go any further into anything, she wanted to let Brooke be. She kissed Brooke on the forehead, and bent down and did the same to Haley, "I love you, sweetheart." Karen left the two girls, and went back into her kitchen.

A little over an hour later, Lucas came in with Peyton in his arms. Of course, Karen being the person she was, she was concerned, "What happened? Is she okay? Is it her concussion?"


	18. Chapter 18

"Ma, Ma, it has just been a long day. She fell asleep on the way back."

"You can put her in my bed, I don't really see me sleeping much tonight."

Before Lucas could take her anywhere she started to move a little bit, and then she woke up, "You okay?" Lucas asked, putting her down.

"Yeah," she said trying to unwrinkle her clothes.

"So where did you two rush off to?"

"I will tell you about it later."

"Actually, I would kind of like an explanation to why you would leave at a time when your best friend was in the most need."

"I did it for her. I was not leaving for my own good. This was all about her. It just hurt too much to see her like that, and I had to do something, anything for her."

"But how about you imagine, and it might be even worse if you were living it. And she did not just walk away."

"She can't Mom, she is not conscious. She cannot just walk away from the pain she is experiencing."

"Wouldn't you say that was pretty selfish of you to just walk away then?"

"There is nothing else I could do. I have never seen her like this. I did not know what to do. I really do not think I was walking away from anything."

"So because of some unfamiliarity you just chose to leave her alone with it."

"Ma, you know her as well as I do. I have never seen her like this. You never imagine your best friend going through such a hard time. All you can think of is her smiling face after she finished her set, or after she makes a breakthrough with one of the kids she is tutoring. You never expect that smile to turn into a permanent frown; you don't know how to react."

"Just be there for her, no matter the changes she is experiencing."

"I know, I know I wasn't there for her during all of this."

"This, Lucas? This? This is the worse pain that any human can experience, it is more then just…this."

"It doesn't seem like I can get a word in with you that is right. How bad do you want me to feel? Because you know what, Ma? I feel pretty awful. I do not feel good about my actions or lack there of when it came to helping Haley if that is what you what you think."

"I know you do, I am sorry, Lucas. I too am just worried that she might not be able to recover from all of this. She is so strong all the time, she never falters when she is helping others, and I am standing here every second wanting to break down over and over again. But she would never do that, she is strong in the presence of those who need her. If she was to break down she would do it alone, where no one could see her tears, so no one could comfort her. She does not want that, Haley just wants to protect and care for others; she does not want to feel the same way about anyone else. But right now, she has no choice. I just wish it was not like this."

"No one wants it to be like this. But this is life. We have all got to deal with our demons at some point. This is just her time. We all go through it," Peyton spoke for the first time, not quite sure if it was her place, or if what she said was appropriate.

"And look how well you are dealing with yours."

"I cannot make it one conversation without this turning into me. I thought that we were talking about Haley. Oh wait, I am pretty confident that is what we were doing. So either we talk about Haley some more, or I am out of here."

"Okay, but we are not done with you, Peyton. You need just as much help as Haley. I just wish that there was some sort of normalcy in the form of happiness for you all. But I guess you all have to go through periods of emotions other then happiness."

Lucas stopped listening to his mother bicker with Peyton about her emotional status, he would laugh, just to see his mother, his own mother, bickering over Peyton's problems, she is not even her daughter, she is just the friend that he brought to her heart. And he knew that that was someplace that she was never leaving from. But he could not laugh though, laughter at a time like this would be, it would be selfish. Haley cannot laugh, Haley cannot smile, Haley cannot do anything. He stared at the entrance to his room. He knew what was behind the door, he knew that she was in there lying in his bed, motionless, but it was just hard to believe that is the state that she was in. It wasn't like Lucas did not know that she hurt, he was there the night that she came back from the tour. He was the first one; he should have been the last one. But that is not how it goes…the pain that she was feeling broke her. He should have never have let it happen, he should have embraced her before she became as fragile as she was. But he did not, and this is where they are at now. Haley broken. Lucas afraid. Lives waiting to be completed, all while fighting time.

Karen noticed that Lucas' attention was directed towards his room. "She is in there, Lucas. There is no one stopping you from going in there."

"I know it is selfish, but it hurts me so much to see her lying in the bed, broken, all alone."

"She is not alone."

"Is Brooke still with her?"

"She has not left her side."

"Why does she care so much?" Peyton wondered out loud.

"Because no one else does."

"That is not true, Mom, you do, and I do."

"Well neither of us is in there right now, now are we?"

"Maybe she is just stronger then you and me."

"Maybe? I do not think you know Brooke Davis that well then. Because she is stronger then she will let on to the world. She has been there for Haley throughout the entirety of her heartache. She has never left her side; she had been with Haley through each fluctuation of the heart. And it has been dark, and it was not been pretty. There have been morning tears, there has been evening tears, and Brooke was the only one to wipe them away. And Brooke has her own demons that she trying to fight, and she is fighting them alone. She did not want Haley to feel the way that she felt inside. Unfortunately, that did not happen for them."

So it has been nearly three hours since Lucas had placed Haley in his bed, and with a little more talk with his mom, and some with Peyton, he decided that it was time to face his fears. It was not fair of him to stay away because of what he feared. What about what Haley feared? There was nothing that he could do just sitting there outside of his door. She was inside, and Lucas had to think, he did not believe in it, he could not, but he had to think, what happens if she never woke up? What happened if when Haley closed her eyes it was for the last time? What happens if her heartbreak broke her so much, that the pieces tore away at her insides, and they too broke, and then they were not able to be put back together? What happens if all of this is going on and Lucas just sat in his living room, while his best friend lay in his bed…dying? He could not live with himself if that happened. I mean it is not really fair for him to think about himself at a time like this, but she was part of him, it had been Haley and Lucas against the world for the last ten years. There was no way that Lucas could fight the world with out her in it. He pushed aside everything, everything that he was feeling, especially those negative thoughts, she was going to make it, he did not have to worry any longer. Because even if he had to leave Tree Hill to buy more glue, he was going to piece Haley's heart back together, piece by piece. He put his hand on the doorknob and took a huge breath, and then he entered.

Brooke heard some noise, and she did not know where it was coming from, she had fallen asleep slightly, so this unknown noise startled her. She thought that it was Haley; she looked at her, "Haley? Haley, wake up for me. Please, wake up. I cannot do this alone anymore. You are the strong one. What am I supposed to do when the strongest person I know is broken? That does not give me much hope now does it? Please, please, just wake up. I promise you that the world is not as horrible as it may seem. I know it can get bad, I mean I really know that. But there are so many people that care about you; we would miss you too much if you left us so soon. A broken heart is hard to recover from; I am still recovering from mine. But I bet you did not even know I had one, I hid it pretty well. I think I try and hid it from myself more then most though." Brooke shook it off though, she was selfish to think about herself at a time like this, Haley was the one in need, not her. Why did she do this? "I am sorry; I was just telling you that you are not alone. Never alone, open your eyes."

"You are not alone either," Lucas told her from behind her, hearing the entire thing, she just gave away piece of her heart, and he grabbed onto it. He watched the entire thing, his mom was right, Brooke really cared about Haley. Her hand had not left Haley's the entire time. And he finally realized that what his mom was saying was not a fabrication, she was really feeling pain, but she just hid it a lot better then most. He really did not know Brooke, and he should, because he had once been given her heart, he should have treated it better. But now he was staring at two girls, two that he cared about more then the world and they both were fighting a broken heart. One was not as lucky, the other ready for a breaking point at any moment. He had to be there for them now. He just had to now.

She could not believe it. Did Lucas just hear everything that she had just said? No, no, why did she let him past her scar tissue directly to her heart. "Did you hear everything?"

"It is okay, Brooke."

"No, no, it is not okay, Lucas. I trusted you with my heart once, and it was broken in a million pieces, I am not ready to give it back to you for another chance of heartbreak."

"Brooke, I am sorry."

"So am I, Lucas. You held my heart once, and I thought that I was not going to be alone anymore, but I was wrong, and my heart did break. And I am still recovering; it hurts too much to give it away again. Even to you, Lucas. And it is sad; because I have never loved anyone more then I love you. But right now it just hurts too much for me to give it away again. It is the only thing that I have left."

"You have me."

"Do I really have you Luke? Because when was the last time that we talked about our lives? When is the last time you showed more interest then just your Lucas Scott's friendship awarding character? The last two months, I honestly do not even know if I can say that I know you. Or what you were doing. I know what Haley was doing. I know what I was doing. But where were you? So I really do not think that I have you here to support me in whatever this mess that I call life is."

Lucas could not respond to that right away, well at least not to that, he knew one thing that was true though at the moment, "You have my mom. She cares about you more then anything."

"I know, Luke. I know that, and it means a lot to me, for the first time in my life an adult cares about the person that I really am," with each sentence, Lucas could see that she was becoming increasingly upset, he could not interject though, he needed to let her talk, let her let it out, for her sake and selfishly…for his. "She is not throwing money at me telling me to 'buy love, it don't come cheap,'" repeating the exact words that her parents had embedded in her own head. "She is there in every aspect of the word, sometimes even if I do not want her there," she laughed a small laugh, "and she really cares about everything, or anything that I do. But you know what? She is someone else's mom…she is yours. And she is not going to be around forever, I mean of course she is going to be around forever, she is Karen Roe: Superwoman, but she cannot go on saving me for the rest of my life. I am okay with that, there are only so many times someone can be saved before they are simply alone. And I am okay with being alone. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am alive though. I look in the mirror and tell myself this is who I am, wake up, put on your face, the face that I give to the world and just go out there and face everything and everyone. It is all I know. I do it every day. It is who I am. And I am still okay."

"You are not okay, Brooke."


	19. Chapter 19

"You are not okay, Brooke."

"Maybe not. But I am not going to admit it right now, especially to you. And anyways it does not matter right now, all the matters is that Haley wakes up, and we can help her out. Then maybe, just maybe we can talk about me, and all the problems I have going on in my life. Right now though, I am still here, I am okay, and I am not lying in a bed broken like Haley."

"What about in the inside?"

Brooke was not expecting Lucas to say that, she thought that she was getting out of it…at least for now. How could he possibly know exactly what she was thinking, it was not fair for him to know that much about her, it was not fair for him to get to know that, when she had a problem even admitting it to herself. "The inside…I am still working on it," she turned back to Haley, hoping that Lucas would not say another word about her right now.

He was getting that vibe, and he did not want to pry any further, he knew it was not fair, he had not been in her life in a while, and he had no right trying to be. "How is our girl doing?"

"She will not wake up, I am scared, Lucas," she answered, glad that the topic was no longer her, though the topic was not any less grim.

With the upbringing that she had been given, it was not easy for Brooke Davis to be scared, but she was. The last time was not much better. It was about six months ago. Brooke had not told a soul about what happened to her, she could not. She already had a rep, this, though was entirely not her fault, it would make her reputation even worst. Nevertheless, there was one person, and someone unexpected, that was able to shelter her from the storm…literally.

_It was another rainy day; it seemed that the rain always seemed to bring the worst of days. It was a Friday night, right before closing, Haley actually got distracted with a song that she had been working on and left the door open 20 minutes longer then she should have. But it was fate that she did. She heard the bell, and looked at the clock and realized how late it was, "I am sorry, we are closed," she said without looking up not knowing who was entering the café at 11:20 p.m. There was rarely anyone at the café this late, especially with Tric going strong for a couple of months now. But Karen kept the café open every_ _other Friday late just for those who were not the club type of people. Thank God it was one of those Fridays._

_Haley did not know what to do, the sight in front of her was one that she did not experience very often, the girl in front of her was in a ripped dressed, completely drenched, she was missing a shoe, she had scratches up and down her arms, her hair completely covered her face, and when she revealed who she was, a bruise was revealed as well, who was it? It was Brooke Davis. "Brooke, is that you?"_

_Brooke and Haley had not really been that good of friends at this point, they were more of acquaintances, they both loved Lucas Scott, he was the best guy that either of them had ever known. Brooke had made fun of Haley a lot, but that was just because she did not know what else to do, afraid to show her real self. _

_She did not know where else to go, who else to turn to. She had been running, running away, and she saw the light, and she knew it was safe. It was safe. Brooke knew the café closed at 11, but the door was still open so she opened the door and found it completely empty, except for Haley James. She just seemed safe. And she was._

_Brooke looked up, at this time revealing her bruise. She did not know what to do, or what to say. So she just let Haley do the talking, "Brooke, are you okay?" Brooke just shook her head, "did something happen to you?" A barely noticeable nod was present. With this Haley brought a firm arm around Brooke's shoulder and led her to one of the couches and sat her down. Haley looked Brooke over, seeing if there were any clues or hints that would tell her what had happened. The one though that was coming up over and over was the she was attacked, and it was very pliable, but she did not want to jump to conclusions. She had to ask again, "Brooke, can you tell me what happened?" _

_She just shook her head, she could not tell Haley what had happened to her, she could not tell anyone. What was she doing here anyways? What was going into a café going to do to help her out? She did not deserve to feel any better, anyways. Or that is what he told her. Those words, all the words that he told her crept into her head; she shook a little bit, hoping that the words would fly out of her head. They did not. She felt Haley put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Why was she doing this? Why was she being so nice when all Brooke did was treat her like shit? Maybe there was a God, and He wanted everyone at some point to have someone to look after them. Was she Haley?_

"_Brooke, you can tell me anything, and I will not tell a soul, if you do not want me to. I can tell that something happened to you, I want to make sure that you are okay. If you are hurt, emotionally, I can help you, but if it is physically, there is nothing that I can do other then bring you to the hospital and hold your hand. Can you please just tell me which it is, so that I can help you out?"_

"_Why are you being so nice to me? I have never been nice to you, not one day in either of our lives. I mean anyone could have been in here right now, and so many would have just turned me away. But you let me in, and you are being nice to me, and you do not have to."_

"_No, I do not have to 'be nice' to you, Brooke. But I do not really see it like that. I see it as I see someone in need, and I am here to help you. So are you going to tell me what is wrong so I can help you? 'Cause, you know what? I do not think that I am doing a very good job just sitting here gloating from doing my good deed of the day. Did something happen to you, Brooke? You can tell me. Are you okay?"_

_She did not want to say it out loud, especially to Haley, she barely knew her as it was already, no one knew who Brooke really was on the inside, but Brooke barely knew her at all to begin with, how could anyone else? But she knew one thing, and it was the only thing that came to her mind, "I am scared," and she was, her tears spoke for her._

_Haley looked around just seeing if anyone, anyone at all was seeing this, Brooke Davis with tears in her eyes. And she was not looking to make herself feel better, or for her to be able to be the one to reveal that Brooke was sensitive. That was not her intention, she just never saw her like this, and it concerned her. Haley always saw the best in people, no matter who that person was, and she always found it. It never mattered what the person have done to them in the past, nothing_ _else mattered when someone was in trouble, or if someone was in need. Brooke was in trouble, and Brooke was in need._

_Haley put her arms around Brooke, who reluctantly let Haley hold her. She was never one to admit that she needed help; she was never one to let anyone see her cry. Maybe that really was not who she was, maybe that is just how she had been conditioned to be. She let Haley hold her and comfort her, Haley soothed her with her words, and each one she believed her. She was scared, more scared then she had ever been in her whole life. And she did not know what it felt like, until now._

_Brooke pulled back a little bit after a majority of her tears were shed, and she looked into Haley's eyes, and she saw pure kindness, and she could not honestly say that she saw that in that many people. And mostly when she was looking into someone's eyes, it was the person that she was having sex with and it was just a fiery look of power. Power—that was something that she sure lacked. She had none of it; it had been taken away her entire life. _

"_Brooke, did something happen? You can tell me."_

"_I am sorry."_

"_For what?"_

"_For my tears."_

"_Brooke, never apologize for tears. Everyone has got to cry now and again…it reassures us that we are still alive. When you feel those tears on your face, trickling down your cheeks, you know that life is not just a dream, it is real…and you feel everything."_

"_Maybe that is why I feel so dead all of the time," she cannot believe that she just said that out loud…to Haley. She never talked about her feelings, not to anyone; her mask was revealed here and there, but never like this, never the entire thing._

"_I really wish that you would not feel like that. It gets hard sometimes but never feel like you are not alive, how can you experience life then?"_

"_I do. Don't you worry."_

"_How can you experience life when you never release and let your tears fall? It is okay to cry, it does not mean anything other then you are alive, no harm. Why are you holding them back?"_

"_I see no need for my tears. You see, I rarely feel emotion at all, so sadness would be an adventure in itself, I just have never ventured that far before. C'mon, Haley, you know me, that would just not fit my character."_

"_I know the person you are to millions, but I do not know the person you are when you are scared, when you are hurt, or when you are alone."_

"_Well, you are looking at her, I am a wreck. You can see now why I do not let others really see this person. I have a rep to maintain, don't you know?"_

"_Well you are talking to the wrong person about maintaining a reputation. You are looking at the poster child for a person living a life not written for them. As you might remember, I am 17, and I am married. I am still in high school, and I am a tutor. But you know what; let them have their worlds, let them think what they want. Their thoughts cannot hurt me, I am who I am, and I am not changing for anyone. If they want change, let them do it themselves. I am not going to be forced to change from the person that I am. And no one is making you do the same."_

"_How do you do that?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_You do not care about what others think of you, how can you do that? I have problems with myself and just what I think about myself. Those are people out there, and what they think, it gets to me, and I feel like I have to be a different person for them. But you, you do not care what they think. It is hard not to constantly judge myself or compare me to the person next to me. How do you do it?"_

"_I ask myself one question, and one question only."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Whose life am I living? If I answer someone else's, then I think I would be more zealous to live another life, maybe even for someone else. But my answer again and again is 'mine,' this is my life, and I am living it for me, and everything that I love. So I will ask you the same question, Brooke. Whose life are you living? 'Cause if you answer yours, I would think about changing your lifestyle a little bit, because you have been living your life in someone else's shoes for a little too long, and I think that they want them back."_

_Brooke could not believe the resilience of the girl in front of her, yes, she was still a girl, but she knew a lot about herself and about life. And Brooke thought she did, she felt that she was pretty knowledgeable, but not like this, not to the degree in which Haley did. She was just her peer, when did she take this class on life? Where was Brooke? _

"_I was attacked." That is all that she said, she did not respond to Haley's comment. She just felt that after those words that Haley spoke to her, it was time to fess up to what had happened. And she trusted Haley; she knew that she would not go shout it to the world. And maybe, just maybe, she felt a little better about herself for someone else to know, and maybe even possibly tell her that it was not her fault. Because, until someone did that, she was never going to believe that she did not cause this, and that it was not her fault._

_Haley went into turbo mode, she had a feeling that from the picture in front of her, that this is what had happened to Brooke, but just hearing Brooke say those words to her, it scared her. But she was not going to let her fear shine through, Brooke had enough of that for the two of them, and what kind of healer Haley would be if she was as scared as the rest of them. She was not. "Brooke, I know it is going to be hard, but I need to know everything that happened tonight. I am going to try and help you out. If you need to go anywhere, I will take you. If you need to say something, I will listen. Anything that you need, I am here for you. Let me just go lock the door," Brooke was still holding on to Haley's hand, so Haley had to gently release it, "I will be right back, I swear, I am not leaving you, I am not leaving you alone during all of this."_

_Haley got up and she locked the door, and she turned the sign over to closed. Then she went behind the counter and got Brooke a cup of coffee and a blanket. She handed Brooke the cup of coffee, and then she wrapped the blanket around Brooke's shivering body. "I am here. Just tell me what happened, I am not rushing you, if it takes you all night, then it is just going to have to take us all night. If it gets too hard, you can stop. There is no one that is going to pressure you into this, Brooke."_

"_Haley?"_

"_Yeah, Brooke?"_

"_What happens if I walked in here tonight and you were not here?"_

"_Let's not even think about that right now."_

_Brooke could see Haley's deep concern in her eyes; she felt that it was selfish to hide anything from her. No one else in this situation would be this nice to her, especially after what Brooke had done to Haley. Brooke knew that this was on Haley's mind, it would have been on anyone's mind if they saw Brooke's appearance, "I was not raped." Brooke could see the sigh of relief that Haley let out, but she did not say anything, not yet. She could see that Haley was waiting for her to continue, so she told her exactly how it happened, "I have a fake ID, I do not know if you know that, but I do. So I can get into the bar very easily, and I never buy myself a drink, never, it is always bought for me. I was having a bad week, not like some are that much better, but this was just a bad week, I was going to go to Tric tonight. But I couldn't. I just couldn't do it," Brooke saw Haley's look of confusion, "I could not face Peyton. I could not face Lucas."_

"_How come?"_

"_You did not hear?" Haley shook her head, "I am a slut."_

"_Brooke, what are you talking about? Are you telling me that Lucas and Peyton called you a slut?"_

"_No, it is true though."_

"_Where is all of this coming from? You are not a slut, Brooke."_

"_Do you know how many people I have slept with? No, I did not think so, if you did though, you would have agreed with them."_

"_Where is this coming from? Tell me what happened tonight. Did the person that attacked you, did he call you a slut? And you believed him? Brooke, Brooke, please, he was just trying to get power over you, and he was trying to make you feel worse about yourself, so that he could have his way with you. Whatever he said to you, whatever it was, it was a lie. You are not a slut. I do not care about how many sex partners that you had, I can honestly say from just sitting with you right here and right now, every conception and perception that I have ever had of you is gone. You are a totally different person, and you have feelings just like the rest of us. So whatever happened tonight, it hurt your feelings, and yes, you do have them. You were hurt. But whatever this guy said to you, it was a lie. Because there is no way that he could ever know you, because honestly Brooke, I do not even think you know yourself right now, so could how he?"_

"_Haley, you do not know me at all. That guy tonight, he knows me more then you ever will. I am a slut. He was right."_

_Haley was not going to let what she said to her affect her. Brooke was visibly upset, so whatever thoughts that was going to come out, were going to come out wrong, in an unintentionally hurtful manner. "Brooke, listen to me, please just listen me. This guy he wanted to have power over you, so he told you something that he thought that you would believe, something that was completely untrue, because he wanted that power. And you let him have that power. But he was not right. Never let him have that power."_

"_I am weak."_

"_Who are you talking about? Are you talking about the person in front of me? Because she is not weak. She has been hurt, you have just been hurt. Just because you have tears it does not mean that you are weak, it just means that you were hurt. Tell me what happened tonight, Brooke. Because whatever you are going to tell me, I know that it was not your fault. And you are just going to have to start believing that."_

"_I gave him the look and he bought me the drink. That is how it works, we are just supposed to flirt, possibly make out, and then I walk away. And it is okay, that is how it is supposed to work. But not this time. He would not let me walk away that easily. I think that he might have put something in my drink, because I became really weak, and no matter how hard I tried to push him off of me, I could not fight. This has never happened before, normally they just walk away. It is like there is some code of Brooke, and there are steps that they follow, and it was like he never got the handbook. I knew that the drink tasted funny, and I have had this drink many times to know it was not right, so I did not drink anymore, I put it down. But I did not think that he had anything to do with it. So when he led me towards the back, I let him. We kissed, and as self-centered and low as I sound, I was done with him. But he apparently was not done with me. I tried to walk away, and he grabbed onto my arm and pulled me back towards him and he held me tighter. He went to kiss me again, and with any power I had left, I tried to push him away. I tried to yell for help, but he slapped me, hence the bruise and he covered my mouth. Everyone at the bar knows me, and I just think that they thought that I was over exaggerating something that was going on, so no one even turned to look at me. He pulled me out of the bar, and I swear it was like someone wanted this to happen and the world was in his favor, there was not a soul outside of the bar." Brooke looked up at Haley and saw her following each word, and she felt bad for what she had said to her earlier. But Brooke continued._

"_Haley, I could not even fight anymore. He was dragging me out of the bar, and I could not even fight to push him off of me. He got me in the car. He got me in the car," she repeated because she was so baffled about it herself. "He locked the doors, and he was on top of me within a minute, his hands…they were everywhere," she paused because she felt like she could still feel them all over her. "He was pulling at my dress, I tried so hard to get him off of me, but I had no power. I never do. Haley, I do not even know how I was not raped. He ripped my dress and I thought that I was done with. But I had been_ _kicking the entire time, and someone must have been looking after me,_ _because I hit him in the right spot, and had a quick glimmer of strength and pushed him off of me and opened the door, and I ran. I just ran, as far as I could go, as fast as my tired legs could take me. And he did not follow me, I do not know why, but he did not follow me. Well I never turned around, so I do not know. And I ran until I could not run anymore, and when I looked up I saw a light, and I saw a sign. Karen has always been safe to me, so I saw her name and I came here. I came here."_

"_I am glad you did, Brooke. And I am glad that you told me what happened. You did not deserve anything that that man put you through. I do not care if there is some Brooke Davis handbook that boys follow; this guy had no right to make you do something that you did not want to do. When you said no, Brooke, that was when he needed to stop. When he did not stop, that is assault. You were assaulted tonight. And no one should ever have to go through what you went through tonight. I hope that you know that none of this is your fault."_

"_Haley, the words he said to me, I do not know how this is not my fault."_

"_What did he say, Brooke?"_

"_That I led on all of the guys in the bar, and that it was time that I got punished for leading them all on. He said that I needed to get a taste of my own medicine. He told me that I cannot just walk into the bar, get a free drink and a kiss, and then walk to the next guy. He called me a slut, he said it so many times that I lost count. It is embedded in my head, how can I not think that is who I am?"_

"_Whose life are you living?"_

"_I am trying to live mine, but it just gets too hard sometimes. And I do not know if I want this to be my life anyways, maybe I wish that it was someone else's and that I am just renting it. Because tonight, Haley, tonight was my fault, and that guy was right. Ever since Lucas, ever since he broke my heart, I do not think that I can afford to get attached to someone, because I fear that it might break again, and the pieces will not fit back together. So I jump, I jump from guy to guy, with no attachments, just free booze and sex. That is who I am. But is that fair? Not at all, so I think I needed to be told that, I needed to be put in my place, so that I know not to do it again."_

"_Stop it, stop it Brooke. You have been hurt; it is just your scar tissue that is not allowing anyone else in. And this is the way that you know how to function, and it is going okay for you, so you stick with it. You know no other way."_

"_I am thinking that I am not a big fan on that way. All I get is pain. That is all I know though, so it is easier, I do not have to change when pain is all I feel."_

"_It doesn't have to be that way."_

"_I am not a big fan of change, why change what is going for me?"_

"_Because it is not really going anywhere for you, Brooke."_

"_I do not know any other way."_

"_I can show you."_

"_Haley, if any other person walked in here tonight, would you have said the same thing? Would you have helped anyone that walked in find their way? Even if you did not know them?"_

"_Well I did not know you when you came through those doors…"_

_Brooke and Haley talked for a couple hours more, and Brooke decided that with a big push from Haley to file a police report on sexual assault. Nevertheless, when the police station called a month later with details she ignored the calls because with every message they told her that she was going to need to tell her story in front of a judge. And she did not want to remember that night; she was a different person that night. That person was gone._

And she was changed now, and that was due in large part to the girl laying in the bed unconscious in front of her. Haley was there when Brooke needed her the most, and at that point in their lives Brooke and Haley were not friends. They were now. And Haley needed her friend more then ever. So even though Lucas was in the room and he had completely no idea what Brooke was talking about, she asked her anyways, "Whose life are you living? Because if the answer is yours, you need to get up and start living it. But if you are living someone else's, that is some one else has already selected and delegated it, then just sleep away. Whose life are you living, Haley?"

Though there was no possible way for this to happen, it was like it was taken from a movie script, there was movement, and her mouth opened, and something barely audible, possibly Brooke was the only one that heard her, but she said one word, and that was more then enough to let Brooke know that she was still in there, she was still fighting, "Mine."


	20. Chapter 20

Lucas was astonished, he could not believe that she was waking up, he was a little perplexed to what Brooke had said to Haley, but he was just going to let it slide for now, Haley was waking up, and that was the most important thing in the world right now. He could see that she was struggling to wake up and fully open her eyes. All he wanted to do was put her in his arms and hold her and never let her go again. He was beyond excited to see that she was waking up, but he had to step back. He had to be calm. And he had to let Brooke take control.

Brooke's hand never let go of Haley's, and now Haley was grasping Brooke's for dear life, well with the only strength that she had left in her. She was so pale. She was so weak. Brooke knew that Haley collapsed from a combination of exhaustion and starvation, but she was no expert, and she did not know what Haley needed to get her out of this. "Haley, talk to me, Haley, open your eyes. No one is going to hurt you anymore. Please, just open your eyes."

"Should I get my mom?" Lucas asked having absolutely no idea what to do in this trauma.

"Lets see if we can get her to open her eyes and communicate with us, we do not want too many people in here right now, it might be too much of a commotion for her."

"Brooke, is she going to be okay?"

"I need you to answer that question for me, Luke."

Lucas went over to the opposite side of Haley, he held on to her hand, "Hales, I am not going to leave you again, I promise you. I am here for you; I am never going to leave your side."

Neither of them said anything for a couple of minutes, they did not want to startle Haley more then she was already startled. They let her do what she needed to do, and that is all that she needed, she tugged a little bit on Lucas's hand, signaling to him that she wanted to be pulled up. Lucas carefully helped the fragile girl to a sitting position, and Lucas almost had to cry out for his best friend, he thought that she was going to break.

Haley looked into the eyes of her two friends, and she saw more concern in their eyes then she had ever seen in anyone's eyes. She had to think: 'I must be really bad, the way that Brooke and Lucas are staring at me; it is as if I am on my death bed.' She went to speak, and she never expected it to hurt like it did, and she never thought that it would be as silent as it was, "I am okay."

"Okay? Haley, you are not okay. Okay is when you get a B on the test that you barely studied for, okay is when you run the mile in 8 minutes, okay is when you can walk on your own two feet. You are not okay, Haley. Do you realize that for the past five hours you have been unconscious, if you were okay, you would be able to get out of the bed and sing a song," Lucas was getting visibly upset with her, he was not mad at her, but with each word, his tone got louder, and more serious. Brooke did not dare say a word to try and stop him, Haley and Lucas both needed this. They needed to feel the pain together. "You can barely form a sentence, let alone sing a song, and you cannot even sit up on your own, let alone walk across the room. You are not okay, Haley."

"Lucas…stop. I am…sorry," he was right, and she struggled with each word.

"I do not need you to apologize to me Haley; I just want you to admit that you are not okay. If someone walked in here right now that has never even met you, they could tell you that something was wrong. So do not sit there and deny it, when you are obviously not okay."

"Then…what do you…want me…to say?"

It was hard for Brooke to just sit there and watch Lucas yell at Haley, and it was hard for her to just sit there while Haley could barely even form words. She was no expert, but she did not know if Haley should be enduring this wrath right now. But then again, maybe it was time that Haley came to the realization that she really was that far gone, and that she could not live her life that this anymore. Intervention was necessary.

"I do not want you to say anything at all, Haley. Just know that we are here, and that we love you, and we are going to get through this together," Lucas knew that most of the words that he just spoke were Brooke's, but he did not see any need at the present time to accredit her for them. "And that is just from what everyone else is saying. But me, Haley, from me, I want you to know how much I love you. I care about you too much to let your broken heart take control of you. And I know that I have not been here when you needed me in the past couple of months, but I am here now. And I am not going away. You do not even know how much it hurts me to see you like this, Hales I have never been so afraid in my life," and Lucas Scott shed some tears for his fallen best friend.

Lucas Scott does not cry, he shed his tears for no one. Brooke knew that. Haley knew that. And Brooke could not keep in her feelings anymore now; she had to let Haley know how much she cared about her. She was not even concerned that Lucas was in the room, she had to tell Haley how much she meant to her. "I do not know if I even ever thanked you for that night."

Haley knew that Lucas did not know about the night that Brooke was attacked, and she did not think that Brooke needed to reveal it to him right now. It was something that she had always wanted to keep between the two of them. And just because Haley was in trouble, and she was in pain, there was no reason for Brooke to reveal her deepest secret to Lucas right now, "Brooke, stop."

"No, Haley, it is okay. When I walked into the café anyone could have been in there, and no one could have cared. But as fate would have it, you were all alone, and you never cared about what I had done to you, all that mattered to you was that someone was in need, and that someone was me. I did not know who I was that day, I thought that I did, or at least I tried to pretend that I did. But on that day you told me that no one was making me change, you told me that I was okay just the way that I was. That was a good thing, because I had no idea. I put on this big mask for the world, but you let me know that I could take it off and whoever I was inside, that is was okay to reveal to the outside. I asked you that if anyone other person walked into the café, someone that you did not know; would you have said the same thing? Would you have given them as much faith as you gave me? And you told me that you did not know me when I walked in there. But because of the person that you are, you took time to get to know me, the real me, if you will. I cannot even count on one hand the people that have done that for me. But you are Haley James; you always find the best in people. And even though there might not be much good in me, you found it. You are a better person then most in this world, and one of the nicest persons in it does not deserve the wrath from it. I know your heart broke, but you are too strong to let it take over your life. I have had my heart broken, and though it has yet to mend, I knew that I could not let it take over my life. I know that you love Nathan, and I know that he loves you. But this game he is playing with your heart, it has gone too far. No one deserves the pain that you endure each day. But it is over now; starting today we are going on another path, one filled with happiness. No more morning tears. No more." Brooke had not even realized it but tears of her own had slid down her own cheeks. No one had been more willing to help her find her way, and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that Haley was redirected back on hers.

Haley looked from friend to friend, and the each had tears running down their cheeks, those tears were for her. If they could cry for her, then she could cry for herself, she let them fall. And they did not stop, Lucas engulfed the girl in his arms, and they cried together. Brooke let go of Haley's hand for the first time, and she had to step back. She did not realize that she left the room until she crumbled to the floor.

When Brooke looked at Haley, it pained her for the fact of seeing someone that she cared about in pain, but that was her. That is exactly how she felt on the inside. She was just afraid to let anyone else see it. And she was not calling Haley a coward for exposing herself, Brooke knew that it was hard for Haley to live the way she had been living without completely breaking down. Haley was braver then Brooke ever would be, or at least that is what she believed. So had to leave though, it was just too hard seeing Haley, fragile and broken on the outside, because this brought her to light about how she looked in the inside.

Peyton actually was the first to see Brooke. She felt each convulsion just from where she was sitting. Brooke was in pain, this was not feigned. Though no one expected her to totally change from the person that she was becoming, Peyton had empathy for the girl. Peyton looked over and noticed that Karen had actually dosed off, who wouldn't after the day that she had experienced. There had to be more then three traumas or dramas for her to experience. What was she supposed to do? Was she just supposed to sit back and watch the girl sob…alone? No one should ever cry alone, not when they already have to battle the weight of the world on their shoulders each day.

So uncharacteristically, Peyton stood up, looked around, not sure what she was looking for, and then squatted to Brooke's level, and hesitantly put a hand on Brooke's. She was in the fetal position, her arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself, because that is all she has left. Peyton allowed for Brooke's body to be leaned against her own, and she eventually was holding Brooke through each convulsion and sob. Though she was in Peyton's arms at the present time, she had never felt more alone then she did right now. Haley had Lucas. Lucas had Karen. Peyton had Gavin (which was very close to being worst then being alone, but at least someone was there for her). Brooke had…Brooke had…Brooke had..? Who did Brooke have? No one.

Brooke cried because she was weak. Brooke cried because it just hurt too much. Brooke cried because she could, it meant that she was alive. Haley taught her that, and if it meant that she had to feel pain to feel alive, it was just a bargain she was going to take.

Though she denied it before to Karen, Peyton knew that Brooke did not have the picture perfect childhood, well neither did Peyton, the death of a parent never paints a happy ending. But one thing that Peyton knew that Brooke never did was that even though Peyton's mother died when she was seven, Peyton knew that her mom loved her more then life itself. And her father still did, even if he was not around as much as he should, or she wanted him to be. But she was loved, as much as she did not want to admit it. Brooke could not say the same; her parents did not love her. Peyton was not even sure if Brooke knew what it felt like. And yeah that hurt, but that was life…well at least for Brooke. The only other time Peyton had seen Brooke cry was her sixteenth birthday, and Brooke's life had not gotten much better since then. So for Brooke to be crying…it must be bad. And Peyton was not sure if Brooke was crying because it was too hard to see Haley going through a broken heart, or whether Brooke was suffering one herself. And it was Peyton that has not been around when her friend was in need this time.

It was almost as if Brooke was unconscious for a moment as well, because it took her a few minutes to even register that there were arms around her, and it took her a few more moments to register that they were of Peyton Sawyer. "Peyton?"

Before Peyton even had a chance to respond, Lucas came running out, more scared then he had ever been in his life, with Haley in his arms. Karen woke up immediately, she was unaware that Haley even woke up to begin with, but the fear that she saw in her son's eyes made her realize that Haley had taken a turn for the worst.

"She…I…she…could not breathe, I tried to help…I tried to, but she held on to her chest, and then she started…she started convulsing," it pained him to say it because it made him recall the scene over and over, that was something that was not going to get out anytime soon. "I don't know what to do. She…has to be okay. She just has to. What are we going to do?"

At the present time in the room, there was only one person sane enough, meaning not completely distraught, to answer that question. "We have got to get her to the emergency room. She is not going to be okay if we just pray that she wakes up here."

"But I promised her…" Brooke was weak from her own tears.

"I think Peyton is right, there is nothing that we can do. And as much as you do not want to break your promise to her, Brooke, I think you might live with a lot of regret if something happened to Haley while you are trying to keep your word. It is in her best interest to get her professional help."

"Ma, I need to know that she is going to be okay."

No one could tell Lucas Scott that his best friend might not make it, but just looking at the delicate girl in his arms, it was hard to tell him that she definitely was.


	21. Chapter 21

Another uncharacteristic move made by Peyton. "Who is in your arms, Luke?"

The three of them were baffled, "What are you talking about, Peyton?"

"Who is in your arms, Lucas? It is not a hard question."

"Haley, Haley is in my arms," he was getting angry with her, he saw no point in these questions.

"Is that it?"

"Peyton is that cocaine affecting your brain, there is no one else in my arms, only Haley, and she is not getting any better by us just standing here answering your pointless questions."

Peyton did not falter with Lucas's harsh comment, "I do see Haley alone in your arms, but I also see the strongest girl that we have ever met. I see the smartest girl that we have ever met. I see the most talented girl that we have ever met. And I see the girl with the most potential in your arms. Someone with all of those qualities, they do not just stop living life. They are the ones that make it. So, you can answer the question for yourself now. Is Haley going to be okay?"

"She is a fighter; no one is going to win the game except for her. She is not going to give up, she is going to battle this, and she is going to triumphant. Haley is going to be okay," people have a way of surprising you, the person in Brooke surprised him earlier, and the person in Peyton surprised him right now.

The world is full of actors living life holding a mask over their faces. We live in this world that no one feels safe enough to reveal their inner selves all the time. It takes great courage to do so, and Lucas saw it tonight.

Lucas did not even realize that Brooke was on the ground. What was the world coming to when the girls in his life were all in need? Who wanted the people Lucas cared about the most in the world to struggle to make it in it? He did not know what to do; he could not drop Haley and run to Brooke. And he was not choosing because he cared about Haley more then Brooke, that was not the case. Haley just needed him more. Well it looked like he was choosing after all.

"We have got to go, who is coming with me?"

Brooke got up quickly, and she rushed to the bathroom, and a few seconds later they heard heaving in the bathroom.

"You go ahead Lucas; I want to check on Brooke. But you cannot wait; you have got to get Haley to the emergency room."

"I will go with you, Luke." Peyton knew that when they took Haley away from him, he was going to be a mess, and he could not be alone. At the present time, Peyton did not know what she was going to do yet, but being there was a step. No one should ever have to be alone in the emergency room lobby waiting for the fate of someone that they loved. Love – there was no –ed, because the love was not going to end, Haley was going to make it, she was going to be okay.

Karen gave Haley a kiss on her forehead, "I love you sweetheart." She gave Lucas a kiss on his cheek, "be strong Lucas. You must be her strength; she is going to need more then just her own right now." She looked towards Peyton, "Thank you for going with him. I do not think that he could have handled it alone. I cannot just leave Brooke right now. The person that I know you are is still in there. It is okay to reveal it."

Peyton did not say anything but just followed Lucas out the door.

Karen rushed to the bathroom and found Brooke with her head in the bowl. Karen went to her and knelt down next to her and she pulled backed her hair, and rubbed her back trying to comfort the apparent distraught girl. "It is okay, shhh, Brooke, it is okay."

When Brooke was done, she pulled herself back and leaned against the wall, almost pulling herself away from Karen. She never had that. There had been so many times that she had returned from a party in the middle of the night and puked the rest of the night away…alone. She did not need that now. She was beginning to think that being alone was just easier; there was no one to worry about. Brooke was unaware of it, but more tears had escaped her eyes. When they hit her hand, she looked up and Karen was staring in hers with sad eyes. Her damn broke again and more tears came flooding out. And she was not sure why they were. Maybe it was just 18 years of build up, and that was a lot of tears. But then again she never wanted to admit that she was hurt or in pain, so she saw no need in releasing them.

Karen was hesitant, she did not want to pressure the girl into accepting her comfort, so she slowly put her arms around her, and Brooke did accept them, and all of her unshed tears…they weren't unshed anymore.

Peyton – the one who had a broken arm and a concussion – was driving, because Lucas was so distraught, that he couldn't do it himself. He just held on to Haley, afraid that if he let go, then she would slip away. Peyton got them there fairly quickly; she could not find a spot so she just created her own. She got out of the car and opened the door for Lucas, who had Haley in his arms. They rushed into the emergency room, "She needs help. I need help," he yelled to anyone who would listen to him. "Please, help me."

The nurses must have sensed his call of distress, one rushed to him to see how much of the details she could get, while the other retrieved a gurney for the broken girl.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"She cannot breathe that is what happened."

"Do you know what caused this?"

"A broken heart."

"Can you be more specific please?"

"Do you want ever single detail? Will that help Haley out any for you to know exactly the point that her heart broke. I am no doctor, but I do not think so. Please, can you help her out?"

"I want to help your friend as much as I can; I just need to know what happened to her, son."

Peyton took over, she was going to have to get a certificate for friend of the day at the rate she was going, "Lucas, please, put Haley on the gurney and hold her hand. I am going to talk to this nurse, and when I am done they are going to take Haley away. But you are just going to have to be strong, you cannot let Haley see your tears, she will think that something is wrong. And there is nothing wrong, Lucas. Haley is going to be just fine; she just needs a little time to get better."

Like a little child being told what to do from his mother, Lucas did exactly what Peyton told him to do. He placed her down and held her hand after he moved some hair away from her face, so he could look at her face. Haley's face. His Haley.

"I am sorry about that, he has never seen her like this, and we are just scared that she is not going to be okay. And we do not know what to do."

"Do you know what happened to her, Miss?"

"She fainted."

"Do you know of any reason as to why this happened?"

Peyton honestly did not know. She did not know Haley over the past two months. And to be honest Peyton and Gavin were more of a cause to all of this, there was not a point that she was not giving her a hard time. "Umm…I do not think that she has been sleeping." Peyton had to think, yeah, she has avoided her friendship, but she still saw her. She just never thought about things like that before. But now that she had to think about it, Haley always looked dead to her, though she did try to hide it. Haley did not want to let on that she was suffering; she did not want Nathan to get that satisfaction. At school she appeared as normal as she could. She did not sulk around depressed at the world. No one other then I guess the people that she was around the most really knew. And that was basically Brooke, and Karen picked up on hints of it. But if someone got really close to Haley, if someone was in her general vicinity, and looked into her eyes, they could see sadness right away, pain a few seconds later, and defeat a few after that. Her stature was different too, she was not standing up as straight, nor was she a hunchback, but still, her vibrancy was gone as well. And there were just little things that she noticed about Haley, like everyone had said when Peyton was not around, Haley lost a lot of weight for a little girl, and she had not been sleeping. She has tried to live a normal life and be happy while she was having her Friday nights at Tric. And she was happy, but not as happy as she could be with if the one that she loved, loved her back.

"And I do not think that she had been eating. There is just a lot going on in her life, stress build up, stuff like that. I do not what else to tell you. But can you please just help her out; this is the second time that she blacked out. I do not know how many times she can take this."

"We are going to do everything in our power to help your friend. Is there anyone I can call for her? Her parents?"

"Umm, I have no idea where her parents are. But the people that she needs are here or on their way. Please no more question before you help her."

The nurse signaled the other nurse to take Haley away, Lucas tried to hold on to her hand, but they wouldn't let him, "we are going to help the victim."

This did not make Lucas happy to hear, "Her name is Haley, she is not a victim, she is Haley," he yelled to them. But there was nothing else that he could do, but stand there hopelessly and wait. Time was not his friend. But that was all that he had. He walked back to Peyton.

"Let's sit down. As much as you do not want to hear it, there is nothing that either of us can do then to let the doctors do their job, and for us to be here for her. And we have to be strong, Luke. 'Cause when she wakes up she is going to still be weak, so she is going to need to borrow some of our strength, so we cannot be weakening, how would that be fair to her?"

"I know. I am going to be strong for her; it is going to be hard. But there never was a time that Haley was not there for me, I am going to be here for her…now."

"Haley is a good person."

"But how does that saying go, 'Bad things happen to good people.'"

"They do not have to though."

"They already did, Peyton. Bad things happened and now my best friend is fighting for her life."

"I am sorry Lucas."

"Why are you sorry?"

She had to think about, she really did not know why she said that aloud, she was not ready to apologize for what had happened between Haley and Gavin, and Haley and her, so why did she just say that she was sorry? "I am sorry that bad things happened to a good person."

"Are you sure that is it?"

"I…yeah…I am sure."

"Okay. But if you ever want to apologize for something else, I will be waiting for you. You were not any better then Gavin with your words, you know?"

"Wait, if you are saying this then you are telling me that you have been there for Haley over these past two months. Wait, wait, a second, there are rumors going around that you haven't, so how the hell would you know what I was doing. Honestly, the only person that was there for Haley, was Brooke, I think it is pretty damn ironic, but it is the truth. And look who is here right now in the lobby, the ones who have caused more pain then prevented it."

"I have not caused her any more pain then she was already getting."

"Are you kidding me? Hmm, not being there for your best friend, I do not think that she took amazingly well. I am pretty sure that if my best friend was not there for me when I needed her the most, then I would be really hurt. Wait, I am getting this feeling of déjà vu, shit, I remember, this is exactly what happened with Brooke and I. She was too damn obsessed with herself, and now look how I turned out. Just wonderful."

"Okay, so neither of us is going to win friend of the year, so what? All that matters is that I am here now."

"Are you really that naïve, Lucas? Sometimes it is just too late. Sometimes that just is not enough."

"Well this time it is just going to have to be."

"Oh you are an exception to the rule? Are you just that much better then the rest of us? You are just this high god that can never do anything wrong, and if you do, you can justify it each and every time. Where do you get of living life that way?"

"You do not know me. I do not go around with this holier then thou personality, unlike that someone. You can classify me all you want, but what category would you put yourself in? I would put you in, 'Fuck the world' category, fuck everyone that has every cared about me. Stay away and we are both happy. I am not trying to be anyone that I am not. I recognize that I have not been there for Haley, so I am here for her now. Umm, what are you doing here? Is your guilt just too large? Did you think that she was just so strong that she could take everything that you threw at her? Because you know what, no one, no matter who the person is, can take what you did to her."

"And what about what you did not do?"

"It is not the same."

"Bullshit, it is the exactly the same."

"She is my best friend."

"Yeah, but are you hers?"

"Where do you get off thinking that you can say all of this to me?"

"Where do you get off thinking that I can't?"

"Well if you want to go down that route, then if I have been such a horrible friend to Haley, and I am out of the running. Then are you trying to tell me that you are an expert on best friend. How is Brooke doing? You know your best friend? I mean since I have been so absent in everyone else's lives, I really do not know, I was just looking for an update."

"Brooke and I used to be best friends, as in the past. She was not there when I needed her, and when she was ready to come around it was just too late, I was already gone. See sometimes it is just too late, Lucas."

"Okay, now let me get this straight, she was not available when you needed her, so you decided that you two could not be friends anymore? So then when she was in need you decided that you were not going to help her out because she was such a horrible friend to you in the past. I think that was very fair of you, not. That is like me saying, Haley went away on tour without even saying goodbye to me, so when she called me two months later in the rain, crying, I should have said, 'sorry, you were not there for me, find another ride home and another shoulder to cry on'?"

"It is not the same situation."

"No situation is going to be the same, Peyton. But you cannot just shut out the person that has been your best friend for more then half of your life because she was not there this one time. I mean I doubt it was a normal occurrence with her. What kind of drama could she be going through constantly that she was never there for you?"

"You do not know Brooke at all do you?"

"Do you know her any better?"

"A hell of a lot better."

"But not anymore, right? And why does it matter if you know her a lot better then me, neither of us are there for her. Why does it matter if you know her better? And to tell you the truth, if you knew her at all, then you would know why she is the way that she is right now. I mean I have never seen Brooke care about anyone other then herself of course, then she does with Haley."

"You do not know her at all."

"Well if you are the expert tell me about her. I think that we were in love once, I would like to know what I was missing."

"She is all alone, Lucas, she always has been. I mean I do not know if you know how we met, but it was the day that my mom died, and she walked me to the office. And when my dad could not tell a seven year old that her mother was not coming back, another seven year old, Brooke, she told me that my mom was in heaven, but that was not as far as I would think, because all I had to do was my hand over my heart, and there she is. No seven year old should know that, but she did. And it took me a while to realize that she was forced to grow up a lot quicker then most kids. She had no childhood. Her parents were never around; they still aren't, as you can see. I mean she lived with me half of the time, and then she felt like a burden so she would go home for weeks at a time. Then she would get lonely, she wouldn't admit it though, but I knew it, and then she would return to my house until she felt like a burden again. She could have set herself on fire, and her parents wouldn't notice, but I am pretty sure if they returned they would tell her to clean it up. So she is getting no love at home, so she went on this rampage in her early teens that she went seeking for it. And she did not care who she was with, just as long as they would be there for her, in whatever way that was. We drifted here and there, until it was a complete separation."

"So you pretty much know her better then most. You know the person that she really is, you know that she is not really the person that she reveals to the world, and yet you still let her live her life the way that she is living it?"

"I really do not think that you have met her, Brooke Davis? Yeah, do you know her?" With each sentence they would get louder and louder, they were accumulating stares from around them. "She is afraid, she is afraid that if she revealed herself that people who judge her. And she was more okay with people thinking that she was slut, then thinking that she had a heart in there. Because that would mean that she was susceptible to feelings and that was just not something that she had any experience in. So she put on her mask, and she lived her life. And now it has caught up with her."

"Do you really know me that well? I really thought that you had gotten to a point where you did not even know if I was dead or alive. I mean I was not even sure if you would care either way, it was not like my presence was a common occurrence in your life or anything," Brooke surprised both of them when she spoke from behind them.


	22. Chapter 22

"How long have you been there?" Lucas asked as he turned around and saw an appearance of Brooke that he did not normally see, vulnerability. She resembled Haley a little bit, she was very pale, and appeared weak as well, it was all in her eyes though.

"Long enough to know that my former best friend knows me good enough to write a book about me and the one that I loved never knew me at all. I think that was enough for me to hear anyways."

"Well since you guys are here now, I think that I am just going to go."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Home."

"Peyton, I do not think that is the best idea."

"Well I am not going to stay here."

"Why not? I mean you are definitely going to lose points on the friendship scale," Lucas mocked her.

"Lucas."

"What, Ma? We have been talking and trading friendship of the year stories, I think we were doing pretty well actually. Well that was until I lost points for thinking that I could help Haley now after I have been absent for such a long period of time. But you know what; she lost a lot of points in shutting Brooke out when she actually needed her."

"Lucas," Karen tried again, he was not being very sensitive or rational at the present time, and she did not understand why he would be so harsh to either of them.

"I am going," Peyton got up, "Let me know if she is okay," she walked away a little bit, and then she turned around, "Is that okay to ask, Lucas?" She did not wait for a response, and she just left the hospital.

"Lucas, who are you? What have you done with my son?"

"Oh, you are looking at him. I am just apparently not a good person, according to Peyton, I lack in the friend and love category. Isn't that right, Brooke?" He was being a complete ass, he had no right to ask her that, he knew that her heart was still trying to mend; he had not right at all to make her feel any worse at the present time. What else could he possibly throw at her?

"Oh I think that you are an expert at being an asshole." She did not feel bad about saying that in front of Karen, or not. He hurt her; she was not going to pretend anymore that it didn't hurt.

"You have a lot of experience in this category as well?"

"Yeah, I have been around enough of them in my life to know when I am looking at one, so I am going to say that I am pretty much an expert."

"That is not my fault that you have a bad taste in people."

"So are you going to put yourself in that category, Lucas?"

"I think you already did."

"Lucas, stop it. Just stop it. You are in the emergency room lobby; there are people all around you waiting on the status of someone that they care about. And you sitting there yelling, that is not fair to them, and that is not fair to Brooke."

"It is not like I am saying anything that is not the truth, Ma."

"Lucas, I do not care right now. It is apparent that you are just going to be an asshole to everyone right now. But if you do not care about Brooke, and you do not care about the people in the lobby, or me, then can you please respect that Haley is back there somewhere and she needs help. Can you do that for Haley?"

"Fine," he got up and he walked away from them, so he would not let his temper explode right now.

Karen put her hand on Brooke's back and rubbed her back, "I am sorry, Brooke." Lucas had not been there in the bathroom with her 30 minutes ago. He had not felt her pain. He had no right to hurt her like he did with his words.

Brooke shrugged it off though, she did not want anymore comfort, she was done with that, "It is okay, he has a right to be angry."

"No he doesn't, he has not right at all."

"I am the one who slept with Chris Keller. I am the one who ruined any chance of reconciliation. Let him be angry."

Karen could not say anything else; there was nothing else that she could say. Brooke sat down and Karen sat a few chairs down. He looked over at Lucas, and then saw him walk out the door. She got up quickly to chase after him, "Lucas, Lucas, Luke."

He turned around but he did not stop walking, so Karen had to keep up with him, "What do you want?"

"Where are you going? What happens if Haley wakes up?"

"She has got Brooke; she is a better friend anyways."

"Stop it, Lucas. You are being a child. I don't care what anyone is saying to you, what is your heart saying? I am really hoping that is saying that Haley needs me right now, and I have to put back everything in my past and be there for her now."

"She wouldn't want me there."

"Lucas, how do you know that?"

"I have not been there for her."

"You are here for her now. That is all that matters."

"I have to go, Ma. Call me if you find something out."

"Lucas, if you walk any further, please don't come back. Because Haley does not need some one who can only be there for her during his terms. Suck it up, forget about your pride, and go back in that lobby and sit down and wait for the doctor to come back. I don't care about what is going on with you and Brooke, or you and Peyton, put it all aside. Haley needs as many people as she can get right now. You are selfish to leave."

"That is what I have been told," he stopped for a second though. "Ma, Nathan did this to her, and all that she could think about when she woke up was where he was at. I told her that he was not there, and that is when she started convulsing. It was as if her heart knew what we were talking about. I have never seen someone in that much pain in my life. And it is Haley. My Haley. Nathan is my brother, and he did this to her. He went past revenge, and he does not even care. When I left tonight, I went to Tric. I talked to Nathan earlier tonight, and I told him that Haley was going to be playing, and that it would be really nice of him to be there and supporting her."

"Was he there?"

"Yeah he was there."

"So he changed?"

"He was making out with some girl."

"No. No. Haley deserves better then him."

"I know that, she doesn't. She doesn't know love any other way."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah, I talked to him."

"What did he say?"

"That Haley hurt him when she left."

"What about the pain that he caused her since she has been back?"

"Apparently it was not the same."

_Peyton and Lucas pulled up at Tric, "How did you know where I was going?"_

"_I knew that you were going to go to the place of person that broke her heart, and tell him that he was successful."_

"_Peyton, I know that Nathan is your friend, and the reason that you have been harassing Haley was because you thought that Haley deserved the same pain that she caused him. But do you see now that he has surpassed it?"_

"_As evil as you think that I might be, I know what pain is, and I see it in her eyes each time that I look."_

"_Oh each time after you insult her, and make her feel worst about herself."_

"_Luke, I am here now, can we just drop this?"_

"_Do you think he is here? I told him that she would be performing tonight."_

"_I could not even tell you. I guess for Haley's sake, I hope so."_

_They got out of the car and climbed the stairs to Tric. They could hear Jimmy Eat World blasting. "I am surprised that the show still went on."_

_They walked through the door, and Peyton got a surprise of her own, she saw Gavin, "Umm, can we walk another way…please."_

"_What, Peyton, what are you doing?" Lucas looked around sporadically._

_All she said was one word, "Gavin."_

"_Okay, let's go this way," he put an hand on her back and led her around the bar. And that is where he spotted Nathan lip locked with a girl that looked at least 26. "Nathan?"_

_It actually took him a few seconds to remove his lips from the girl, "Luke, man, you were right, this is a good show."_

"_Are you shitting me, Nathan?"_

"_You were supposed to come to see Haley play; you were supposed to come support your wife. Not support that girl next to you."_

"_Ingra, she is a Viking."_

"_I am not a Viking silly, my ancestors were," she thought that was cute of him so she kissed him on the lips._

"_Isn't she adorable?"_

"_Excuse me, Ms. Viking, do you mind? Did Nathan here tell you that he was in high school and that he was married?"_

"_Married in high school? Are you at least 18?"_

"_Yeah I am."_

"_I am okay with that," she went to kiss him again, but Lucas grabbed him by his upper arm._

"_He will be back before you can even yodel."_

_Nathan shrugged him off of him, "What are you doing, man? Did you see her?"_

"_Yeah, I saw her, she was gorgeous."_

"_Then why the hell did you pull me off of her?"_

"_Because do I have to remind you that you are married?"_

"_We both know that Haley was doing more then just kissing Chris Keller."_

"_Oh is that what you have been hearing around town or something?"_

"_It is Haley, Lucas."_

"_Yeah it is Haley, and that is why she would never sleep with another guy. Dan has brainwashed you into thinking that."_

"_Dan did not have to do anything. She was the one that kissed him, for all we know she went further with him while they were on the tour together."_

"_How would you know every time that she called you, you would not pick up? So how the hell would you know what she was doing?"_

"_I know her pretty well."_

"_Oh do you? What is she doing right now? Because I bet a million bucks you don't even have a clue."_

"_Well I was a little late, so I might have missed her playing, did she leave already?"_

"_She is in my bed."_

"_See I told you so, that slut."_

_Peyton had to step in front of Lucas because she was pretty sure that he was going to punch Nathan. "Nathan. Stop it. I have been supporting you the entire time since Haley has been back, I have always been on your side. Not that many people saw you after Haley left, not a lot of people saw the pain that you felt and the sadness that you endured. If anyone saw you, then they saw that you were pretty pissed at the world. But I saw the other side of you, the vulnerable side. I put Haley through a lot of hell when she got back because I knew the pain that she caused you. But Nathan, you have gone too far. If you wanted Haley to feel pain, she is feeling it. Every single day she is feeling it. She is not a macho basketball player; she is a frail tutor girl, that can't take it anymore. She cannot take it. The reason that she is in Lucas's bed is not because she is a slut, it is because she has been unconscious for the last hour. Her heart could not take it any longer, Nate. Is this what you wanted? Because if it was, you win. But please can you just ease her of her misery and say goodbye."_

"_You are telling me that Haley is unconscious right now in Lucas's bed?"_

"_Yeah, you don't believe it?"_

"_Why should I believe that? How do I know that this is not a ploy for you to get me to go talk to her? If she wants to call a truce and come back to me she is just going to have to contact me myself."_

"_Are you kidding me? This is not some game, Nathan. This is both of your lives. And to be honest after the way that you have been treating her, I do not really see her running back into your arms."_

"_And just the idea of Haley in trouble should get you to go see if she is okay," Lucas informed him._

"_I don't believe you."_

"_Fine, then Haley was right."_

"_What was she right about?"_

"_You never really loved her."_

"_Lucas, you do not know how it felt to have your wife leave you in the middle of the night to go on tour with another guy, a guy that she had kissed."_

"_No, you are right; I do not know what it feels like."_

"_She hurt me."_

"_Yes, and she hurt me too. But when she called me when she returned to Tree Hill, when she was crying in the rain, I did not just let her stand out there. I went and I got her, and I let her cry. And you know why she was crying? It was because she had just come from talking to you, and you pretty much let her know that you did not love her. And it hurt her too much to go on living like that. So she changed her ways and lost them. And I honestly cannot tell you if she is going to be able to find them again."_

"_I do not know what to tell you."_

"_Well then, neither do I."_

"_Nathan, you know that I am your friend, and I will support you. But I cannot in this. You are a better person then the shit that you have_ _thrown at Haley. If you wanted her to feel pain, she felt it, and felt it over and over again. If you really do not love her anymore, stop pretending that you do. It hurts her too much to live with that hope. And at the rate she is going anyways it might be the end of her. And I know that you did love her at one point so stop the suffering, stop the pain, and move on with your life, so she can move on with hers."_

"_I really thought that you were different. Different then Dan, I mean he pretended he loved the girl, and then ran to the next, while the first was pregnant with his child and held hopes that he would return and they would start a family. I am just so grateful that Haley is not pregnant with your child, she would not be able to recover from that."_

"_I am not Dan."_

"_If that is what you need to tell yourself to make it through the day, then go right ahead. But look at your life, and look at his, there is a pretty big parallel."_

"_It looks like you have already made up your mind; there is nothing else that I can say to you. I am who I am; there is nothing that I can do to change that. No, maybe I did not make the right decisions in the way that I handled the things with Haley, but it is done with and I might have screwed up, but that is life, it is full of screw-ups."_

"_You are just going to pass it by so easily like that, it was marriage Nathan, and I mean it still is. It is a big commitment; you took vows and said that you were going to be together always and forever. Forever came and went pretty quickly for you, now didn't it? And as much as I hate to say it, you two were just too young to get married, and to expect to spend the rest of your lives together. But I just want to tell you one thing Nathan, and then Lucas and I are out of here, back to Haley. Forever is not as long as you think it is going to be. Sometimes life throws traumas and tragedies at you, and forever is over. My mom and dad were very much in love and they intended to spend the rest of their lives together. Neither of them expected my mom to die when I was seven. Their forever only lasted ten years. So you cannot think that since you guys got married that you are going to be together forever, so it is okay if you fight a little now and have a time of separation. Because your time could have already past. Your forever could have already ended. Are you okay with that? If you are, then let Haley know that. If not, you better fight like hell to let Haley know how much you love her. Forever could be over."_

_They did not let Nathan respond, he did not really deserve to respond. Lucas was really surprised in Peyton. She has been a bitch to Haley, well that is what he was hearing and seeing briefly. And she stood up for her today; no one was forcing her to though. Wrapped up in the conversation that she had just had with Nathan, Peyton totally forgot about who she was avoiding and literally ran into him. She retreated back to her new self, "Look where you are going next time." She looked up and saw him. Gavin. "Gavin."_

"_C'mon, we have got to get back home, Peyton."_

"_Not so fast, I want to talk to my bitch for a minute."_

"_I am not your bitch."_

_He slapped her before Lucas could do anything, "Are you sure about that?"_

"_Do not touch her again, or you are going to have a problem with me."_

"_She is mine, don't worry about it. You can run home to Mommy, I will take it from here. As you can see Peyton has been hurt, and she needs someone to take care of her. I am here for all of her needs."_

"_You are the one that caused it, Gavin," Peyton said retracting herself from the arm that he had securely put around her neck._

_He did not like this so he pulled her to him with more force. "Is that what you are telling people, Peyton? Because I really think that you need to think about what you are doing. You do not want me to get into trouble for what happened this afternoon. It was as much your fault as it was mine."_

_Peyton was powerless with him. He took away all of the power that she had ever built up inside of her, the power that she used to fight the world. Yet the only one that she needed to use if against, took it before she had a chance. "I am not telling anyone anything, Gavin. And_ _that is because nothing happened. There is no problem, only if you cause one right now."_

"_Now, that is my girl," he let up his grip on her a little bit, "so what are you doing with this punk?"_

"_Haley is hurt and we were trying to talk some sense into her husband."_

"_You see that is why I have such a problem with you, you are so indecisive. Now you are here to support Haley. I thought that you were against her. I thought that you wanted her to feel pain."_

"_She did."_

"_Oh, it does not have to end."_

"_Yeah, it does, Gavin. She has felt enough. Let it be."_

"_I cannot just let it be, Peyton. I was there supporting you when you wanted Haley to experience as much pain as she caused your buddy. Now you are retreating and saying that she has felt too much. Make up your damn mind. 'Cause as I see it, this girl has not felt enough."_

"_She has, I am admitting it to you. I have made up my mind. Can we just drop this? She has actually taken a turn for the worse, and we need to get back to her."_

"_Oh, so now you are going to play the role of supportive best friend, I see. Damn, Peyton, you should be an actress, it will take you some where in life. I mean since the further you are going right now is into my bed."_

"_Gavin, stop it," she pulled back from him with the fight she had still left in her._

_He went to grab her arm again, but this time Lucas step in front of him, "Let her go, man and we will not have anymore problems."_

"_I am always going to have a problem with you," he said stepping back from him, "and you, I better see you later tonight or…"_

"_Or what? What are you going to do to her, man? Because she has the right to do whatever she wants to do, you have no control over her. If she wants to leave right now, then you need to let her, if not you are being possessive and you do not want to do that."_

"_Oh, now it seems like you are threatening me."_

"_Let's just go, Lucas," she said trying to push him along, she could see the death stare that he had on Gavin. And it really seemed like Lucas cared about her best interest. No one cared about anything about her lately, so this was new. And this was overwhelmingly intense. Lucas seemed to return to people's lives when they needed someone the most, but was it fair that was the only time that he came around?_

"_Kiss me before you leave," Gavin said grabbing on to her arm again, pulling her closer to him._

_In fear that he would do something else, she obliged and leaned in for a kiss._

_When he finally pulled back, "See, you are my bitch. I will see you later."_

_Peyton walked away, she walked past Lucas in an attempt to get out of Tric quicker, she ran down the stairs, and her vulnerability slipped as she missed the last step and ended up at the bottom, "Damn it," she screamed not sure more towards her falling or what had just taken place in there._

_Lucas rushed out of Tric as well, and caught Peyton slipping on the stairs, so he rushed down to her, "Are you okay?" he asked, bending down to help her up._

_She allowed him to help her, but after that she shrugged him off, "I am fine, fine. I am fine. Let's just go back so you can be there for Haley."_

"_What about you?"_

"_What about me? I am indecisive, don't you know? By the time we get back there, I am probably going to want to cover Haley's head with a pillow."_

"_Why do you let him do this to you? This is not you."_

"_Lucas, we already went over this in the café earlier, I have no idea who I am. And maybe Gavin does, I mean he has to know something, why the hell else would he be with me?"_

"_Because you are a good person."_

"_When? Right after I destroy people's lives?"  
_

"_Peyton, I have never seen you weaker then when you were in there, you let him do whatever he wants to you. Whether it is physically or emotionally, he has full control over you, and no one should have that except for you."_

_She did not want to hear this right now, she had about 700 lectures today, and she really did not need another one telling her that she was better then the person that she had been portraying lately, "Lucas, just drop it. You do not know me. No one knows me. I don't know me. So we are not going to get anywhere. Let's go."_

"_Peyton."_

"_Lucas, if you try and say something else, I am not going to respond. Drive the damn car. Haley needs you a whole hell of a lot more then I do."_

_Lucas did not dare respond to her, he just drove back to his house._

"Do not be Nathan, Lucas. Do not walk away when you know that she is in trouble. Haley has always been there for you, please do not walk away from her right now. Please do not do this," Karen was practically begging her son after Lucas told her of the earlier events of the night.


	23. Chapter 23

"What happens if Nathan had broken her heart too much? What happens if she cannot recover from this?" he looked into her mother's eyes, he was scared.

"Walking away is never the answer, no matter how hard it gets, Lucas. Just imagine how hard it is for Haley, just imagine it, and imagine her going through this alone. I am thinking that alone is not as easy. Do not let her go through this alone."

"I am sorry for the way that I reacted, I know that this is even harder for Haley, because she is experiencing this, but it is hard for me looking in seeing her in pain, and then feeling so helpless. I want to take the world off her shoulders and put it on mine, but it is not that easy. I want to rewind history and tell her I love her and that I support her in any decision that she chooses to make, so when she went on the tour she knew that she had at least someone's support for following her ambitions. I want go back to the day that she returned from the tour and have Nathan love her for the person that she is. I want her heart not to be broken."

"Life does not go that way though, Lucas."

"I know it, I know it, Ma. But I just wish it did, for Haley's sake."

"Go back in the lobby and sit with Brooke, she does not need to be alone right now either."

"Ma, I do not get your thing with Brooke. I really do not understand how she can be feeling any where to as close of pain as Haley is feeling."

"Maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally, she is feeling it. She has just been hiding it from the world. Lucas, when you left tonight, I went into the bathroom and she was sobbing uncontrollably, the pain that she had been enduring goes past just a broken heart from you, or the loss of her best friend. She has been enduring a broken heart practically since she had come out of the womb; she told me tonight that she was pretty sure that it was broken at birth. There has never been one person in her life that she could say loved her for who she was. She has never had that, she has always been alone. And sometimes you get used to it, and do not care anymore. But sometimes, like in Brooke's case, it just gets to be too much, and it just hurts too much to be alone anymore. She had reached that point, and she does not want to be alone anymore."

"It seems like I have been absence in the lives of the people that I once cared the most about, especially when they need me the most."

"The past is done, all you can do is go on with the presence, and change the future. Haley, and Brooke, and Peyton, they still need you. Yeah, maybe, they needed you in the past as well, but you are not the fixer of all bad, you cannot stop the pain of the world from coming down on the ones that you love, not matter what. You can help them find a better place in their lives right now, and you can be there for them as they recover. You can help write a better future for them, a better future now that you are in it. The past is already completed, you cannot be afraid of it. The only thing that you have to fear is not being the friend that they need now. The only thing you have to fear is for them not to know that you love them. Life does not always go the way that you have planned it, but the days are a little easier when the person that you love knows it. And that they love you back, it is even better."

"Keith loved you so much, Ma."

"And I loved him. It took me a long time to get over Keith's death. But the more that I mourned the more that I realized that Keith loved me, and he died knowing that I love him. You do not want to regret anything Lucas, let the people that you love, know that you love them. Sometimes it is just too late, and you cannot go back and change what is already done. I pray to God that nothing happens to Haley, but what happens if she does not wake up tonight, and you never got to say goodbye or tell her that you love her one last time. You are not going to be able to live with that, I know you are not."

Lucas turned around back towards the hospital and then noticed that his mom was not following him, "Ma, what are you doing? You just gave me that speech and you are not even coming with me?"

"You basically yelled Peyton out of the hospital lobby, and from what you told me tonight, I have a feeling that there is a lot of fear in that girl that left. You told me that Gavin threatened her; well I do not think that Peyton wants to disappoint Gavin. I mean she is going to get hurt either way, I just hope that I can intervene somehow, some way."

"It is not safe, let me go instead."

"Lucas, you have got to make up your mind in who needs you the most right now, you are so fickle, you go back and forth when you think that one might possibly need you more then they other. You were not too nice to Peyton tonight, I do not know if she would be too keen if you showed up at Tric tonight trying to be there for her after you practically harassed her with your words. Luke, I know that it is hard to pick between friends sometimes, and I know that you want to be there for each one of them. Nevertheless, sometimes you have just got to let someone else help you out, you have got to let someone else be there when you cannot. And do not think that you are not helping out, because you are, you care about the person enough that even when you cannot be there, there is some one there holding their hand during uncertain times."

"How did you learn all of this?"

"Learn what?"

"Life. You seem to always know what to say, like for any situation you are able to say the right words and it gets a little bit better."

"I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, Lucas. I mean you can dwell on them or you can learn from them. And if you are lucky sometimes you can help others through your own experiences."

"I have a feeling I do not know you as well as I thought I did. Are you not telling me something, Ma?"

"Lucas, there is a lot about my life that you do not know, but I have not withheld from you for lack of trust. I just have never talked about it, well until tonight…with Brooke," it was the first time since her own teenage-hood that she opened up about what had happened to her during her adolescence. And it was hard, but it was way over due. There was no need to keep everything inside for that long, especially since she was preaching to the choir not to keep it inside too long. She also knew from experience that she really did learn from her past, and all the mistakes that she had made on the way. So it was selfish of her to keep everything inside of her when someone needed her help. It did not matter who it was. Someone was in need. And she could help them.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Lucas, I am fine. I just recalled a lot of things from my past tonight, things that I have not talked about it years, and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. Nevertheless at the same time, I do not know why I have left it in for so long, but I cannot live in regret. And that is what we are going to both be living in if we do not go to our respective persons. Sit with Brooke, do not push her, if she wants to talk, let her, do not jump down her throat before she even gets a chance to finish. Those are her feelings, Lucas; no matter if you do not necessarily believe in them, that is how she feels, and you can never tell someone that their feelings are wrong. I am going to see what I can do with Peyton. Call me if you hear anything about Haley."

"I love you, Ma."

"I love you too."

Karen went to her car and Lucas headed back into the lobby. It had been nearly 20 minutes since he left, he really hoped that the world did not change in the last 20 minutes. He was not ready for it.

Lucas looked around trying to find where Brooke was, he spotted her after a few seconds, her back was towards him, her head rested on her knees, and she just appeared sad to him. Was this who Brooke was all the time? And then she just covered it up with makeup and perceptions and illusions? He walked over to her, "Is this seat taken?"

It honestly took her almost 30 seconds to register that he was talking to her; she was just that emotionally drained from the night. If she had more energy or strength or anything, she would have retorted with a comment that was similar to the ones that they were exchanging earlier, but there was nothing. There was nothing left. "It is all yours."

"Brooke," he started, and then with everything he had inside of him, he stopped himself, and just said, "I am sorry for earlier, I am not the same person anymore, and I know neither are you. I want you to tell me about your world, I want you to tell me about your ambitions, I want you to tell me who you really are. I am just sorry that it has taken me this long to offer. We do not have to talk about this now, but whenever you want to talk about it, I am here," that might have gone too far.

"It might be just too late, Lucas."

"For what? For me to change?"

"Sometimes it is just not about you, Luke. I mean sometimes, just sometimes I have feelings too, and sometimes I want some attention, just one person to care about me, and all about me, even for an hour, I would not even complain. But that is not how it goes, good things happen to bad people, right? But what happens to bad people? What happens to them?"

"Are you doing this for research or a project or something, Brooke? I really hope that you are not talking about yourself. You are not a bad person, you are just lost. And you cannot be lost forever; I hope you know that, the lost always find their way in the end. You have just got to wait."

"What happens if I am not one of them? Or what happens if I cannot wait? What happens if I have waited for 18 years, and have decided that is just too long? What happens if I cannot do it? Or that I am just not strong enough? What if Lucas? I mean I do not have all the answers, I barely know the right answer to what to wear each day. I know surprise, surprise, high-maintenance Brooke cannot pick out a damn outfit. But it was not just a physically outfit, it was more of an outfit to cover my whole persona, whatever the hell she is…or was."

"I am sorry that I have never found the girl that is inside you, the one that resides in your heart. I am sorry that I have never dug deep enough to find her. It is my loss that I have never found her; please never blame yourself for this."

"I do not know what to say to that, Lucas. I have waited so long for someone to say that to me. But it doesn't feel any different; all it feels like is words, just like the rest. I always thought that when someone said that to me, that there would be fireworks and celebrations, not really, but inside at least. But I just feel the same, and I am afraid I am never going to feel anyway else again."

"I am sorry that you feel so alone."

"Honestly, Lucas, I am used to it."

"But sometimes it just gets to be too much, doesn't it?"

"Of course. I mean I have not always been completely alone per say. I have had Peyton and her dad since elementary school. But that was their family, I grew up pretty fast, believe it or not, and I only felt that I could intrude so much. "

"But were you really an intrusion?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I do not know. Probably not. Peyton and her dad always included me in everything, family stuff, holidays; Mr. Sawyer even came to an award's night for me in the fifth grade."

"So did they know how absent your parents really were in your life?"

"Never. I went home time to time; I would turn down offers sometimes, just so it would not be so obvious that I really had no one there. I made up so many excuses, so many lies for them, which is probably why I am so good at lying to myself. I mean I think I really started to believe the lies that I told myself. 'My dad has a business trip to Africa; he is helping feed the hunger. Oh my mom, she is a surgeon, so good that sometimes that she was so booked that she could not make it home for back to school nights.' I made myself believe that my parents were just really good people and they had to help the other people of the world. And I was just selfish if I pulled them away from their good deeds. News flash, the only people in this world that they ever cared about was themselves. I was just fell for my own lies…I mean I had nothing else to go on."

She hid it well, she really did. Like others had said already her status at school was not the status that was in her heart. Lucas was beginning to get it now though; Brooke was just trying to be the person she thought she could be. Never who she really was. I mean she knew that there was someone deep down in there, but she was not able to grab her and bring her to life. She fought with herself daily to find the person that she was, but the person she wasn't always won.

"I don't know what I am going to do, Lucas," she said looking up into his eyes. And for one second the world stopped. Vulnerability swept over her body, and she was ready to be in his arms forever. But he was partly the cause of the reason she was like this, she had never cared before him. She was fine before him. Why did he make her care so much? Because he was Lucas Scott. Brooke did not want him to answer her dilemma for her; he would just try to give her more hope. And she had no room left for that. "But I will figure it out…eventually."

"Brooke, I can help you."

"Lucas. Please. Stop. You are the reason that I care about anything, you tore away that mask that had encased me for 18 years, and I saw a new side of me. And I had emotions, I cared about others, and I even cared about myself. But this is so much harder then living a fake life. It was so much easier when I did not have to fear being alone. It was so much easier when I was okay being alone. Now I fear it. Because of you. So please do not tell me that you can help me. I am the way that I am right now because of you. You have done enough. Honestly, it was nice at one point, a new feeling if you will. But I can not afford for you to help me anymore. It just hurts too much when it is over."

"It does not have to be over."

"It does for me. I am sorry, Lucas."

"Brooke, are you saying goodbye?"

"Yeah, but not forever, and not to this place. I am saying goodbye to the person I was, and the person I was when I was with you. I am not that person anymore, and neither are you. I have got to learn to live life another way, because I am obviously failing this way. So this is goodbye. I have being living this way for 18 years, we graduate in a few months, and unlike Haley, and Nathan, and Peyton, and even you, I have no idea what I am going to do. You all have so much to offer to the world. I have nothing. So your futures are already set, mine is not even wet or ready to launch. When we graduate, you all will know that those last four years shaped the person you are going to be in the future. Me? I am going to wonder was it all worth it? I thought high school was going to help me determine who I was, but I went there, I went there for 1000 odd days and the only lessons I learned were in French and Math. I never took that class on Brooke 101; I mean I do not think they even offered it because there was no one to teach it. I am afraid of the future."

"Who is not afraid of the future, Brooke? The future is a scary, scary thing. No one knows what is going to happen. But that is the joy of life; it brings a little excitement to your life. No one knows what is going to happen."

"Then why does it feel that way?"

"Because some people have it easier then the rest."

"Like you?"

"Brooke, I have no idea what tomorrow brings. The only thing that I can pray for is that everyone that I love makes it through the night. And I could pray to a thousand gods and that just not be enough. You are saying how everyone in your life seems to know what their future holds. What does Haley's? She might not even have a future left to fight for. Peyton? Who the hell knows what her future is? I mean today she could have changed a little bit, but tomorrow she could go back to her new life of cocaine and maybe take the down spiral approach, and we lose her too. Nathan? Yeah, he got basketball, but Haley was supposed to be his future, that does not look like it is happening. Me? I was ready to have a father, a real one, or at least a real one in writing. Then Jimmy Edwards brings a gun to school, and my father is gone. You think that is what I thought my future was going to be like? No one knows what the next day brings Brooke. Do not take it personally."

Neither of them said anything else after that, or at least not for a while.


	24. Chapter 24

Karen made it to her parking space behind the café as fast as she could, it was still rainy, so there were only a few hesitant drivers on the road. So was ready to rush out of her car and basically teleport herself to Tric, but something stopped her. She saw a car parked a couple of spaces down, the rest of the lot had been cleared, the show had been over an hour ago, so she could clearly see. Karen saw a girl in a car, her head on the steering wheel, hands attached to it as well, and the girl was crying. Karen could recognize that curly blonde hair any day of the week. It was Peyton. Karen was just so grateful that she was there and not upstairs.

She went over to her car and she knocked on the window, of course startling Peyton. She looked up and saw Karen and motioned for her to come in, "What are you doing here?"

"Well I have come to see you," she looked at her, and knew she was not exactly buying it, "I did not want you to be alone," again she got a stare from Peyton, this time she told her the truth, "Lucas told me about your encounter and threat from Gavin. I was just scared that he was going to hurt you."

"I did not have enough courage to go up there."

"But you have a lot of courage to stay in the car."

"Or a lot of fear."

"Why him, Peyton? Why Gavin?"

"He showed interest in me at a time that I thought no one else cared. I was vulnerable. My dad had just told me about Ellie, I was confused, I was lost. Gavin seemed to know a path that I could take on. It did not matter if I had never been on it before; at least I had some direction."

"But what about the cocaine, Peyton? I do not care if he took you on a new path, what about your common sense? Was that not allowed on the way? Cocaine? You tried it once before, and you promised me that it was a one time thing."

"I already told you, it takes the pain away. Sometimes if I was lucky it would make me numb."

"That is not a good thing. I hope you know that."

"I know, as much as you may have thought that I lost all my common sense, I really haven't. I know the affects of it. I just did not know any other way. The reason I did it the first time was because I was scared. I wanted to get the support from Ric, and this was the way to seal the deal. I was afraid if I said no, then he would not help us out. And look at Tric now; it is doing well because of the business I made with Ric."

"Yeah, but we could have been doing equally as well if you had chosen not to. And what was making you do it this time?"

"I was scared again. Scared that if I did not do it with Gavin, he would not want me. I did not want to be alone anymore. Then I realized how good I felt, and I just did not stop. I could not stop."

"What happened last night?"

"I took too much."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"I lost complete control. I honestly do not even know all the events of last night. But I trusted Gavin to limit me, and he must have just been engulfed in his own. It happens. Mistakes take place. Regrets are made."

"What kind of regret?" Karen was concerned.

"The normal kind."

"Did something happen last night that you remember?"

"That is where I could not tell you the truth. I do not remember it happening, but when I woke up this morning, I knew that it did."

"Peyton, what are you trying to say?"

Could she tell Karen? Was she supposed to tell Karen? What would she do? "I don't know what I am trying to say."

"Did Gavin do something?"

"Gavin did not do anything, he never does anything."

"Peyton, I do not think that Gavin is a good enough guy for you. I think that you need to distance yourself from him. Step away, and find some one that would treat you better, someone that gives you his heart when you give him yours."

"I am pretty sure there is no one out there like that for me."

"You must have not looked far enough."

"Gavin really is not that bad. He loves me."

"He also hurts you."

"With his words here and there, so what?"

"Not just his words Peyton, do I have to remind you that you were in the hospital earlier tonight, umm…let me recall, Gavin shoved you across the floor. You have a broken arm and a concussion as a result of it. I think it is more then his words that hurt you. Physical pain."

"It was a one time deal; he is not normally like this."

"Are you trying to lie to me or yourself?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"I talked to the doctor earlier, after he told me your diagnosis. He said that there were bruises that were not recent; he suspected more then one occurrence of such abuse."

"There is no abuse to talk about."

"You are in denial. What Gavin does to you, that is abuse. He abuses you mentally. He abuses you physically. And he abuses you emotionally. Yet, you cannot seem to walk away. He scares you. He scares you into believing that he is the only one for you, and that without him, you would just be alone. But that is not true. You can just walk away from him, he is not the one."

"I cannot just walk away from him."

"Why not?"

"I…he…I…he has been the only one there for me, I cannot just walk away after all that he has done for me."

"All he has done is caused you pain."

"Pain is all that I feel, with or without Gavin."

"Not an excuse to stay with him. I think you fear him. I think that you are afraid that he is going to continue to hurt you or hurt your worst if you try and walk away from him. He does not care who is in his path, he will hurt whoever is on it. That is what he did to Haley, and she had not caused him any harm. I mean you are supposed to be in a relationship with him, he should not ever hurt you or cause fear in his presence. You are going to be okay, even if you have to be alone."

"I don't want to be alone."

"You will never really be alone; you always have me, Peyton. You just do not always have to be under the reliance of a guy. You can live stably without being in a relationship with someone. And I am not saying that you have to do this forever, I am just saying that being with Gavin is unhealthy, and you need to be healthy. You are a growing girl; you do not need hindrances that block your growth."

"I think that I have done enough growing already though."

"You can never do enough growing. I am 36 years old and I do not see myself stop growing anytime soon."

"We are different."

"How so?"

"You live in stability."

"I haven't always done so; I had to search for it, just like you can do."

"It is hard to not know who you are, or where you are supposed to be going."

"That is adolescence for you."

"How long until I am on the same level as you?"

"It is all up to you. You are right we are different. We all are different though. Sometimes we are lucky and we know who we are early on, sometimes we have to travel far and long to find her. I hope for you that you are able to find her soon."

"Me too. Because this searching thing is getting tiring."

"I bet it is."

"Karen, it is really hard for me to believe that you lived in uncertainty. You always seem to know the right decisions to make, the right path to take. You always seem to know what you are doing. And every path you choose, it always seems to be the right one. How come you were so lucky?"

"I do not know if I want to call it luck, or that I was lucky. Do I have to remind you that I was pregnant at 18, with hopes of a future with a guy I thought loved me? I envisioned us ten years in the future and I envisioned happiness. I was. But there was no marriage. There was no husband. There was no happy ending. Ten years later, I was 28 with a 10 year son. I was supporting myself, and I was supporting my son. But there is no way that I could have done that if I sulked around after Dan left me. The only thing I knew was that I had to provide Lucas with so much love from me that he would never know that his own father was missing in action. I was basically alone. My parents never supported me. They never had. I was a high school graduate, which was all that I had. That is all that I had to work with. But I managed and 18 years later, I am an owner of a café, and a night club. I went back to school last year, and that was the best decision that I have made in a long time. But I was too young to have a kid, let alone raise him all alone. So Peyton, I hope that you pursue what makes you happy. Never do anything that you do not want to do."

"I do not think that I could have been as strong."

"You never know until you are in that situation, which I hope you are never in."

"No. I do not intend on motherhood anytime in my near future," then it hit her, she did not know if she had protected sex or not. What happens if it was just her luck that she was going to be the mother of Larry's kid?

"It was never my intention to be a mother at 18 either. But it happened. And there is not one day that I do not thank my lucky stars for bringing Lucas to me. He has made me happier then any person in this world. Looking back do I really think that I was ready to be a mother at 18? No. Not at all. But I am not living my life in regret."

"I wish that it could just be that easy for me. But it is not. My whole life is regret. Why did I do this? Why didn't I do this? Why did this happen to me? That is all that fills my head. That is all I know."

"It doesn't always have to be."

"Karen, can I tell you something? Can I tell you something and have you promise that you will not flip out or lecture me, or…anything."

"Who do you think you are talking to? But Peyton, you are scaring me."

"I am sorry; I am not trying to scare you. I just need to say it out loud."

"Anything, Peyton, you can tell me."

"This morning when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar place. I had no idea where I was or how I got there. I woke up and the world was spinning. And when I woke up I had no pants on. I asked Gavin later if we had sex unknowingly, and he told me we hadn't," Peyton could see the look creep over Karen's face. The look. The look that any parent would have on their face when their child had just told them their implications. But Peyton was not a child, and Karen was not her mother. Yet the look did not go away.

"Peyton, what are you trying to tell me?"

"I think that I was raped last night," just to say it out loud, it made it so real. Who was she now? Peyton Sawyer, rape victim. I mean that is the only way she knew how to describe herself right now. It gave her some identity. But there was no way in hell that that was the way she wanted to be known as.

"Oh, Peyton. I am so sorry that this happened to you. You should have never had to go through this. I am here for you now. But last night you were in no place to be anywhere then in your own bed. I am sorry that I did not do more last night. He was basically dragging you out of the club, he was barely any better then you. I should have not trusted that he would make the right decision for you. I am sorry that this happened to you, Peyton. You did not deserve this pain."

"But didn't I? I mean maybe it was a wake up call that I was doing something wrong. It was like look at what you are doing with your life, you need to stop. Then I don't of course, because I am so wrapped up in this sense of stability. When in reality it is just vulnerability, and I loose control of who I am. And then this is why it happened. It was a wake up call to me that I need to find another outlet for my pain. I lost complete control, and not just over my emotions, but over my body, and my soul. Wake up, Peyton, welcome to the real world."

"Rape is never a wake up call. No matter how destructive of a path you are on, it doesn't matter, rape does not need to take place for you to finally realize that you need to change your ways. Never."

"I do not even know what happened, Karen."

"I know that and it is scary as hell. I just pray to God that he did not impregnate you or give you any STDs."

She did not even think about things like this. It was not something that came directly to mind. It scared her. "What am I going to do?"

"Well right now it is up to you. We need to get you checked out so we know for sure that you are clean. I can take you to a clinic or back to the emergency room. It is up to you. But we need to do it soon."

"I am scared."

"I know you are, sweetheart. I am scared too. But we are going to get through this together; I am not going to leave your side. I hope that you know that, I hope that you know I will never leave your side."

"You are the only one always there."

"Well then I am doing something right. But Peyton I have got to tell you something. You have got to change your ways. This path that you are on is not a safe one, and it is not a good one. Cocaine is not the answer; it may take away the pain, but only temporarily. After you come down from the high, all you are left with is pain. And you should never have to feel it. That should not be all that you feel. You are a girl of potential. And you need to take advantage of it. You always need to figure out what you love and what you want in your life. If you continue on the path you are on, they will all be gone. If you leave the path, you can pursue it, and do the things that make you happy. And it can take you far. I never had a college education, and no I do not regret Lucas, because he makes me happy, but you do not need to be a mother at 18. You can take your college education and it will take you so far. But you need to get off of that path, Peyton. You are nothing with him, everything by yourself."

Peyton did not respond right then, she really couldn't. Karen knew more about her then she even wanted to admit to herself. The two just sat in silence for a while. A long while. And that was okay. There was no place that they needed to be. The only place they needed to be was right there, right now.

Brooke and Lucas had been sitting in silence for nearly an hour, both afraid to speak, nor sure what was acceptable to say at the current time. Well they did not have to wait much longer, a doctor walked towards them. Both of them got to their feet, and Lucas put a protective arm around Brooke. It did not matter what they had just talked about, it did not matter that Lucas had broke her heart. Nothing mattered, except the doctor in front of them, the holder of Haley's fate.

"How is Haley?" Lucas asked, he knew that Brooke was afraid to ask, because she feared the worst, and she did not want to be the person to ask for that bad news.

"Mrs. Scott."

"Can you please just call her Haley," Brooke asked as nice as possibly, yes, she was Haley Scott now, but at the rate that Nathan had been treating her, he did not deserve for her to take his name.

"It was a good thing that you brought Haley in when you did."

"She is okay, isn't she?"

"Haley had a severe anxiety attack, and it was brought on by starvation. I do not know what is going on in your friend's life right now, but if someone had not intervened this anxiety attack could have a more fatal result."

"Are you saying that she could have died tonight?"

"I am saying that if you did not bring your friend in when you did, she could have never woken up from the comatose state that she was in. She is a lucky girl to have you as her friends and you got her here before it was too late."

"Did you say that her anxiety attack was brought on by starvation?"

"That is what I am saying, but it is not the same prevalency that I normally see. Normally when this occurs the patient is anorexic, and I really do not think that your friend was intentionally starving herself. I think it was something deeper."

"She had a broken heart."

"A pain from a heart break could very much so correlate to the symptoms that we have found. I am guessing that the person who said you can't die from a broken heart never had his heart broken."

"Or had met Haley."

"She is a very strong girl; if she wasn't then I can honestly say that I would not be the one talking to you right now. I am sorry to say that to you and scare you, but I just wanted to let you know the severity of her condition."

"Thank you for telling us as it is. We need to hear it as much as it hurts. I mean I cannot even imagine how hard it is going to be for Haley to hear this. Is she up? Has someone told her what happened?"

"I never got to tell you her entire condition."

"Is she not okay?"

"She is not out of the woods yet."


	25. Chapter 25

"What's the matter? I thought that it was just an anxiety attack that was brought on by her broken heart."

"Well it is definitely inside of her. Her immune system is very low right now; there is basically nothing inside of her fighting anymore. We are trying to raise the levels, but until they are raised, she is prone to illnesses. The nurses told me that you told her that Haley had trouble breathing, her lungs were blocked and because she was so weak, her body did not know it until it could not take it anymore. She is very susceptible right now, we need to keep a close eye on her and make sure she makes it through the night. We are going to need to monitor her for a few days."

"And what happens if she catches something, is she going to be able to fight it all by herself?"

"We are going to have to hope so."

"So what do we do now? We want to do something, anything at all, so that Haley can get better."

"There is nothing that you can honestly do for her. Other then just sit by her beside, let her know someone is there. We need her to build her strength up so that her antibodies can fight off any pathogens that come in her contact. Be there for her, support her, be her strength if she needs it. Nevertheless there is no proven medical fact that says that it is going to work. But there is also no known medical treatment that you can give to Haley."

"Is she going to be okay? Are we going to see the light return in our Haley's eyes? Is she going to recover from this and lead a normal life?"

"It is all up to her. If she is a fighter, then yes, I can see normalcy in her future. If she gives up, then I am going to have to unfortunately say recovery might not be enough. It is all up to Haley, but I am leaning more towards the first option then the latter."

"I sure hope so. I do not think that we could lose her."

"If there is anything that I can do for you or Haley, just let me know. My name is Doctor Gavin Jenson."

Gavin, why does that name seem so familiar? Gavin? No way, it couldn't be. Could it? Brooke had to ask, "Umm excuse me sir, but do you happen to have a son with the same name?"

"As a matter of fact I do, but I have not seen him for years. Are you friends with him by any chance?"

"He is the guitarist at the local night club, and he is dating a friend of ours."

"How is he doing?"

Does she tell him the truth? Thank you for saving our friend's life doctor, but I am afraid no one is going to be able to safe your son, he is a coke addict who treats his girlfriend and everyone around him like shit. But he is doing excellent. She couldn't do that, she told him the best thing that she could think of, "I honestly do not know him very well, your name seemed very familiar and I just wanted to see if it was more then a coincidence." It was not a complete fabrication; Brooke really did not know Gavin. She knew what he did, he changed her best friend. But did Brooke know anything about Gavin or the reason that he was like this? Not at all, and from just being around his father, Brooke realized that it had to be deeper then family issues.

"Yes, Gavin is my son. My wife died four years ago, and after the funeral Gavin never came back home. I have no idea what has happened to him, I talk to my other son, Noah every now and then, but he never mentioned that Gavin was in Tree Hill."

"I am sorry to hear about your wife."

"She fulfilled her purpose in life; I cannot live one day bitter. Gavin did not have the greatest relationship with his mother, he was a punk rocker and she was an elementary school teacher. But after many years of trying to get in, she broke through the last semester of his senior year. He gave up on anything after high school, but my wife got him to apply to some schools and he got in. I never thought Gavin would ever go to college, but for the first time in his life he wanted to go to school. My wife did that to him. But Gavin never made it to those colleges."

"What happened?" Brooke was intrigued now. She lacked a family life or a story to tell, so when she could hear others, she was attached. After each story that she heard she knew that everyone went through hardship, it doesn't matter if with two parents or one, or even none, hardship will prevail for a little while.

"My wife died two days before Gavin's graduation, he never graduated, he could never pull himself to be in the presence of all those people. Everyone knew about it, the wife of a prominent doctor, dead at 38."

"I read about this," Lucas admitted. "The name just never registered because Gavin does not use his last name."

"What happened?" Brooke was not as aware of the past events.

"My wife had a very rare cancer of the blood. It took over her system before she even had a chance to fight it. We tried everything for awhile, but it just wore her down. And she did not want that, she wanted to live a normal life as long as possible. We found out in April, stopped treatment at the end of May, and she passed away 2 weeks later. We never told Gavin, he was changing and we did not want to let this stop him. We had set aside money for him to do whatever he wanted with it, and on graduation day we were going to present it to him and tell him about his mother. Carla's life ended too soon, we never had a chance. But she impacted his life forever, he was distraught, he did not want to go on. Things settled down a little bit and then Gavin found out that we had kept Carla's illness from him. He was furious, I could not even talk to him, four years later and I haven't seen him since that day. All I know is that he is alive, and the only reason that I know that is because I put that money in his account anyways, and over the years it has been diminishing. I do not know why I just told you all that, I am sorry."

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a family either," did she really just say that aloud, to practically a stranger? She had a problem saying things when she was alone, but in the presence of two men she just gave away her darkest secret.

"I am sorry to hear that. Everyone needs to have someone to love them, no matter who that person is, or what they have done." This was true for both Gavin and Brooke, what freaking irony. No matter the person Brooke pretended to be over the years, it did not matter, she still felt heartbreak and pain like the rest, and more then ever she just wanted someone to love her. Gavin was not a good guy at all, he has treated everyone that had come in his vicinity horribly, but what no one knew was the hardship he had to experience, and this changed him. He gave up on fate and life and himself, there was no one left to love him because of it. Everyone needed love; life is just not as well worth living without it.

"Well when we get things figured out with Haley, if you want we can try and talk to Gavin, and maybe we can get him to talk to you. It won't be easy though, I am afraid that your son has changed, and he is not the nicest of people to be around. He knows the exact words to cut through the heart."

"I am sorry to hear that, I hope he did not know the right words for you, it seems like you have gone through enough in your young life."

"No one has ever said that before, all they do is add on more, thank you," Lucas listened to this man, he had never met Brooke before yet he could sense, he could feel, and he could see her pain. She stood before him almost every day and he could never put his hand on it. Was it him? Was he just so blind to this fact? Or did Brooke hide it so well that this was her first slip ever? Nevertheless, his own mother could see it, but was that because she was mother and it was their second nature to sense it? His conclusion: he was so blind to it because he never wanted to admit that he contributed to it.

"You all can go back and sit with Haley if you want to, I wish I could give you a estimated time to when Haley is going to open her eyes, but it is honestly up to her. She has got to fight with everything that she has left in her."

"Thank you Doctor."

Lucas led Brooke down the halls, it seemed like it was an obstacle course and they were trying to find the prize. But it really wasn't a prize that they wanted to win, a broken friend was not what they wanted to find. They finally found the room number in which Doctor Jenson had given them, "You ready?"

"I will never be ready, but I do not have that option right now."

Lucas nodded his head and opened the door, and that is as far as they got. Yes, they have seen her before, that picture was not disappearing from their thoughts, but neither was this one. Cords. Wires. Everywhere. All around her, attached to her, keeping her…her. Alive. Who the hell was Nathan Scott? Okay he wanted Haley to feel pain, but put in the hospital pain, fatal pain? Is this really what he wanted? Was he really this low? Did he even have a heart?

"Lucas? Is it supposed to hurt this much?"

"No. Never," he put an arm around her shoulder, and she allowed him to bring her head to his shoulder, he kissed her on the top of her head, "it is never supposed to hurt this much."

"Come on, we have got to be strong, we have got to be strong for her, we cannot do anything standing out here," Lucas told her after a few more minutes, recalling some of what his mom had told him. Haley did not have enough strength alone right now, he had to step up, and with Brooke, and they could help her together.

"You are right, we are selfish to stand out here," she released herself from his hold, and walked in first, and she went to the closest seat to Haley's bed. "Hey, Tutor girl, I was struggling a little in the subject of life, I was wondering if you could open your eyes and give me a little lesson."

Lucas stood back closer to the door still, he watched on, Brooke was so strong, no matter what she was going through alone, she was able to put it aside and be there for anyone else in need. Why did it take him this long to realize it? And why was it too late now? "Hey…Brooke?"

She held Haley's hand and turned around, "Yeah, Luke?"

"I know that this might not mean too much to you now, and that it might be too late, but I am sorry that I have not been there for you in the past, I am sorry that I could not see what everyone else can see. I was blind to the fact that I did not want to see you in pain. I think I am experiencing it again with Haley. Thank you for opening my eyes."

"It is never too late, Lucas. Never."

He walked over to her and sat in the chair next to her, "I am not going to leave again, I am going to be here for you, and for Haley. I am not going to take the easy way out and leave when it gets rough, and then think that I can return and make everything all better. It does not go like that; I have to be there for all of it, not just when I feel like I can be a hero."

"Isn't it a great feeling though?"

"What is?"

"Playing the hero? At that moment nothing else matters. You can feel nothing else. And you finally feel like you matter, and you can make a difference, finally. Just living knowing that you are bettering someone else's life makes you forget for a few seconds that while you are fighting to save another soul, that you do not have to think about your own."

"But that is not how it is supposed to go, Brooke. You do not have to be the only one saving; you can be saved just like the rest of them."

"It is just not in my cards, Lucas. And who would want to save this lost soul anyways?" she asked him, completely unsure of his answer.

"Well I know this one guy, he has pretty much held your heart for a while now, and he was thinking that since he had been holding it so long, that he could at least return it…repaired and beautiful, just like the owner."

"Lucas, stop it, please do not do this now. Please, can you not do this right now?" Yeah, this is what she wanted, but not here, not now.

"Now is as good of time as ever, Brooke. I have waited too long."

"And how long do you think I have been waiting? You know what though; I can wait a little longer. Please, can we focus on one thing right now, let's wait until Haley wakes up, and Haley is safe, and Haley is happy, and then we can talk about my happiness, or lack of it, okay?"

"Brooke, all we are doing is sitting here, you heard the doctor, there is nothing that we can do for Haley, other then sit here with her. So there is no time better then right now then to talk about this, fix this."

"Why do you do this? I tell you that I do not want to talk about it, yet you push me even harder. What do you not understand about 'I do not want to talk about this'? I do not care if you think that we are wasting time sitting here. I don't, and you know what, Haley might be able to hear everything that we are saying. And you know what she is hearing right now? She is hearing her best friend calling her a hopeless cause."

"Haley is not the one that I think is hopeless…" oh no, did he really just say that? "Brooke, I am sorry, that is not what I meant."

"Stop it, Lucas. Just stop it, I know what you mean, you wouldn't have said it if you weren't feeling it."

"Brooke…"

"Stop giving me hope, just stop it, life is so much easier without it."

He could not respond to that, he was trying to help her and he pushed her away a little further. Who was he?

An hour later, Karen and Peyton found the two just as they were…silent. "How is she doing?" Karen asked startling the duo.

"Not awake, that is how she is doing."

"How long does the doctor think it will take?"

"It is all up to Haley."

Karen noticed something in Brooke as she spoke to her, and she did not think that it was possible, and it was even more sadness.


	26. Chapter 26

_Brooke had never let her tears spill like she did in Karen's arms. And Brooke made three, three girls had sobbed in Karen's arms today. Three. There are days that none of them would ever reveal the brokenness in them, and today Karen got three girls, what was it about today? Then Karen got it, it had nothing to do with the day, it had to do with the breaking point, and it just happened to be a coincidence that all of their breaking points happened to be today._

"_Brooke, it is okay, sweetheart."_

"_No, no, it is not okay. My tears are shed and the pain is still here. I have been keeping all of this in for years, afraid that if I let anything out then they would win, all those people who wanted me to be this way. But they won anyways, I am weak, and I still feel pain."_

"_No one wins, Brooke. And no one wants your life to be this way. That is just too cruel of a thing to wish upon anyone, especially you."_

"_But it is the story of my life, Brooke plus pain equals true life story. It is all I know, I just do not let anyone else see it, which is all. But I failed, and I let it out, I let others see my tears, basically with my tears, the mask was pealed away. Here I am world; you can do whatever you please with me now."_

"_Please, don't speak like that. This is your world, no one else's; do not let what others have done to you in the past control your life."_

"_You say that, and I want to believe it, but I have never felt as if it really was my life for the taking. There has been no one there for me to tell me otherwise. You see I have grown up with out a lot of direction, so if I do not know the answer, I basically figure it out for myself. And the answer could be wrong, it normally is, but that is all I have to live with."_

"_How long have you been alone, Brooke?"_

"_Would you believe birth? This is my theory, but you see supposedly you do not remember the first three years due to infantile_ _amnesia, you see I remembered something in my psych class. Anyways, I am pretty sure I came out of my mom and it was then that she realized 'shit, I just made the worst mistake of my entire life, now if I just got rid of her, that would look really bad on me, so lets get a nanny to raise her, and she will never know the difference.' Well you were pretty wrong about that Mom, 'cause, it is really easy to tell the difference between having parents and not. Urgh," Brooke was getting angry, angry at her parents for never being there for her. Where the hell were they when she needed them the most in her life? Brooke knew the answer, but she did not want to admit it. _

"_So your parents have never been there for you, how do they still have custody of you? They seem pretty neglectful to me."_

"_I am 18, it is too late now, they managed to be 'my parents' so long that I could never get away from them."_

"_I am sorry, Brooke, I wish that I had known this earlier."_

"_And what would you have done? Would you have knocked some sense into them, tell them hey your daughter needs some support? Or would you have stood up and been my mother? Because either way, it is not going to happen. I have already turned out this way, I am already screwed up."_

"_Stop it, Brooke. You are not screwed up, you are the person you are all based on you, and your parents can take no credit for the way you have turned out."_

"_Oh they can take all the credit for all that I care, I do not want to take any credit for all the mistakes and missteps. I rather just blame it for the lack of parents in that category. Just imagine this: Oh did you hear Brooke Davis thought that she could sleep with all of the guys on the football team and they would win the championship game? Oh it is okay, she doesn't have any parents to tell her that it is not okay to be a slut. See wasn't that fun."_

"_I really do not like the light in which you see yourself in. You are not a slut, and you are not a mistake."_

"_I am going to have to strongly disagree with you there. If I was not a mistake then why do my parents hate me so much? I think that I have messed up their perfect little world. Was it to make their image look better? Bullshit, I do not want to hear that. If they never intended on loving me, then I really wish that they did not bring me into this world. Just give me away; it would have been easier on the both of us."_

"_Are you saying that everything that has happened in your life you wouldn't mind erasing, and saying that it never happened? You would be happy if you never had to live this life? I know that it has been hard Brooke, it has been awful for you, no one should ever have to go through what you go through, but are you telling me that you have found no happiness in there along the way?"_

"_It is hard, because the cloud of sadness, it sometimes covers the rest of it up, and I forget that some good things have happened along the way."_

"_Name a few."_

"_Peyton and I used to be the best of friends, it was me and her against the world, and that was okay, as long as it was just me and her."_

"_But?"_

"_But, look at where we are now. We lost that, I lost that. I finally was forced to believe that you could only fight the world for so long until it fought back. And I lost. I always lose."_

"_What else have you lost along the way?"_

"_My way. My love. My friends. Myself."_

"_Why are you fighting this battle alone?"_

"_No one else wants to be on this rollercoaster of a life I am living."_

"_How do you know that?"_

"_I have tried to bring people along before, and they got sick. You know at the end of this ride, there are two backwards upside down turns, I normally lose them before the first loop."_

"_How many people know about your life?"_

"_Umm, no one. I do not let the world see it. I mean Peyton knows that my happiness is a fake. But soon after she found out I pushed her away even further, and she never came back for another_ _ride. I don't blame her though. She already had her own attraction to ride."_

"_Does she know the real truth though?"_

"_What real truth? She knows more about it then anyone else."_

"_But does she really know why you pushed her away even further?"_

"_Why did I?"_

"_Brooke, sweetheart, Peyton thinks that you pushed her away because of some reason. And the reason she thinks it is, is because you didn't care about her, that you had something better or more important then her. She doesn't know the truth, the real reason why you pushed her away."_

"_I needed someone, anyone that needed me too. I never wanted to put her in second place, that was never my intention, especially after all that she has done for me. But that is what happened, it needed someone to want me. Felix wanted me, especially after a time in which that I needed that reassurance."_

"_What are you talking about, Brooke? Did something happen to you?"_

"_No…no, nothing happened to me…I just…I needed someone to need me."_

"_Brooke, you are pretty scared right now for nothing to happen, and for nothing to be wrong. It has to be more then just wanting someone to want you. You are shaking, sweetheart, shaking. And you are scaring me."_

"_She wouldn't understand…I can't even grasp it myself."_

"_Brooke, please, just tell me where you are going with this."_

"_Something happened, about 6 months ago, a little bit before everything was going crazy in Peyton's life. I was so scared, so scared, so I pushed Peyton away even further, because I did not want her to need to help me out. She and her dad have done enough for me in my life, I did not need her to have to help me through this to. I was scared and I did not want to get attached to anyone. Felix came along and he did not need attachment, but he was giving me comfort without attachment. And that is all that I wanted. That is all that I ever wanted."_

"_Brooke, what happened to you? Whatever it is, it has scared you."_

"_I was attacked," she looked into Karen's eyes, it hurt her to say those words, she had not said it that many times in the last six months, and it hurt, because it was true. She was attacked, and that man took something from her that she is not going to be able to get back, never. Brooke told Karen about that night, and how Haley was there for her even after the person that she been in the past. "Karen, I was an awful person, to her, to the world, and when I walked into your café, she was the only one there. And she did not care what I had done to the world, I needed someone, and she was that person. If Haley can look away from the pain that I have caused her, then I know that people can change, I can change, and I do not want to be that person anymore."_

_Karen put her in her arms again, "The person that you are, it has not been set in stone, you can change from the person you have been conditioned to be. You are not that person, Brooke."_

"_No one has ever said that to me before."_

"_Well then maybe you have not met enough people in your life, Brooke."_

_Brooke and Karen sat there for a little longer in embrace, it was a new feeling for Brooke to feel, and for once in her life, she felt secure. She was still scared though, scared on the future, scared of what it was going to bring to her. She never knew what was going to happen, at the rate she was living her life, she was pretty sure she was going to be alone forever. She wasn't alone today._

"Hey, sweetheart, do you think that you might want a break from sitting with Haley for a little while, I will sit with her, she won't go anywhere, I promise you that."

She looked at Karen and she knew it was more then just taking a break, she looked past Karen and she saw Peyton, she looked really anxious, like she wanted to get something off of her chest.

"Yeah, I think that I could use a break, but if anything happens, just let me know, I want to be here when she wakes up."

Brooke got up, gave Haley a small kiss on her forehead, and walked past Lucas without a word. Karen gave her a gentle squeeze on her shoulders but there was no response from Brooke, she just walked out of the room. And all that was stuck in her head were those words, 'Haley is not the one that I think is hopeless.' It did not matter the other words that she was told today, none of the rest mattered, just those words, they killed her, they tore her apart. She was walking down the hall and she got a little wobbly, she put her arm out to support her against the wall. She brought herself over to the wall and slid to the ground, hands on her head. No tears though, no more tears were going to fall from her eyes. Not because of Lucas Scott's words, especially not.

Without her even noticing, Peyton slid down next to Brooke, "do you mind if I sit down here?"

"It is a free country."

"It is funny; you were me earlier with Lucas."

"Yeah, he has that tendency to get into someone else's business, especially when you don't want him there. He comes back around so that he can feel better about himself, so that he can be the hero sweeping down and saving me. But maybe I didn't need a hero; maybe I just needed a friend. A friend to be there when I couldn't do it alone. But Lucas never wanted to be a friend; he just wanted to be the hero."

"I am sorry that I wasn't your friend when you needed me."

"Our friendship really wasn't reciprocal, that is probably why it broke down so easily, I guess it really wasn't meant to be."

"Brooke, don't say that. Are you really saying that a decade long friendship really wasn't worth it?"

"I was never the friend to you that you were to me; I am surprised that you did not walk away a long time ago."

"Brooke, I do not even know what you are talking about. You have always been there for me, whenever I needed you. I have been through a lot in my life, and you have been there for me each time."

"Almost every time, not when you needed me the most. Where was I?"

"I am not sure where you were, Brooke. But it was not fair for me to just expect you to be there every time that I was in trouble. You have a life of your own to live, and it was not fair for me to stop believing in your friendship because of one incidence."

"But it was a big incidence; you turned to cocaine because I wasn't there for you. And now look at where your life has taken you, you are in a whirlwind of drugs and missteps, and this is because I wasn't there for you."

"You cannot blame everything that has happened to me on yourself. You were not forcing me to sniff cocaine day after day. It was my decision; it was my choice, Brooke. And yeah, it was the wrong one, but it was not because of you, not at all. I have never blamed any of this on you. I just pushed you away because I was selfish. I was selfish to not be your friend when you needed me just because you were not always by my side. If I am being honest, Brooke, even if you were there for me, we do not even know if our lives would have turned out differently. I could have still turned to drugs; I could still be with Gavin. We really don't know about our worlds unwritten."

"Peyton, it wasn't that I didn't want to be there for you, I really did. I just couldn't, I needed some sort of comfort for once in my life, whether it was real or fake, I just needed it. And at that point, I failed as a friend, I friend as your friend. You have always been there for me; you gave me a home and a family when I didn't have one. And I never thanked you for it, not once. I just accepted it, took and ran, because it was all that I had, it was all that I ever had."

"You never needed to thank us, you know that we were lacking in the family category as well, it was nice to have another addition to the family. You were our strength after my mom died, and you were only seven years old, Brooke. You have always been there; it was a comfort to know. I took advantage of you; I thought that you were always going to be there. That wasn't fair of me, Brooke, I wasn't fair to you."

"Peyton, I really didn't need anyone, yeah I had you and your dad, but I think that I would have been okay with out you guys too."

"As much as I do not want to admit it, there was no way that we sufficed for a family, your family."

"Don't say that Peyton, that isn't true. You were more of a family to me then anyone ever was, especially my own family. I actually don't even know if I can consider them that. Family, what the hell is that anyways? Peyton, I am so alone," she looked at her former best friend, "so alone."

"You are not alone, Brooke. We are going to start anew, and I am going to be here for you, because you know what? You need me more then ever. Whatever has happened in our pasts, whatever it was that tore us apart, it doesn't matter anymore. It has past us."

"Peyton, I really am okay though. This alone thing is so normal to me, I do not think that I would know any other way."

"It won't hurt to try a different way. I pretty much believed in your theory for awhile, but things happened, lives were changed. My life was changed. It changes everyday, Brooke. I have lost control of the changes going on; I do not want that to happen to you. I do not want you to feel the same pain that I feel; I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even an enemy, Brooke, not even you."

"You had people that cared about you and they left your lives, I do not know that pain, and I cannot live with that, and you have. But you have never lived with the feeling that no one in this world loves you. That you were a mistake, and forgotten, you do not have to live life that way. The people that left my life, they didn't die, they chose to leave. They chose not to love me."

"It was their loss."

"Peyton, please, we are not friends anymore, we were best friends, but we lost that, tonight doesn't change anything. I wasn't there when you needed me; I don't deserve your friendship tonight."

"Brooke, I want to tell you something and it has nothing to do with who we are now, but who we were then, at one point, at the best point of our lives. I would give the world to bring us back to that point. To one point when everything was okay in the world, a point that we were both happy."

"Peyton, when was this? When we became friends you had just lost your mother, how can you ever be happy after that? And me? I really doubt that I was ever happy."

"How about content? How about a time when we were content? Content with who we were, content with who we weren't. Just simply content with where we were in our lives, can we just go back to then?"

"What will this accomplish?"

"I don't really even know, Brooke. But I just wish that we could go back to the past to the exact point where I lost you."

"Honestly, Peyton, did you really have me? Was there really even something to have, there is no part of me that is worth keeping or holding on to."

"I guess I lost you a lot longer ago then I thought."

"I guess you did. So what did you want to tell me, Peyton?"

"Never mind, it doesn't even matter."

"Wait, Peyton, no, you wanted to tell me something, and I am not going to stop you. I have some experience with this. No matter what you have done, no matter what I have done, if you need me, Peyton, I am here for you."

"I never doubted you were, Brooke, I hope that you know that. It was just an error in my judgment to not trust you anymore."

"What happened to you, Peyton? It cannot possibly be as bad as the other shit that has happened in your life. What can be worst then death and heartbreak?"

"Rape. I was raped last night."

"What? Peyton, I didn't know, I…I tried to stop Gavin last night, he pushed me away. If we got you away from him…if…I could have prevented this."

"You cannot be the hero all the time, Brooke."

"But it is all that I know how to do, if I am not, then who the hell am I?"

"You are my friend."


	27. Chapter 27

"Peyton, I am sorry, I am sorry that this happened to you. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you."

"No one could have prevented this, other then me. And you know what; you are here for me now. But you cannot be the hero all of the time, you are allowed to be saved as well," Brooke looked at her like she was talking crazy.

"I know that you are not going to be very happy about this, but Karen told me what happened to you."

"I don't know what you are talking about. Nothing happened to me," she went to get back up and she misstep and came back down next to Peyton.

"It is okay, Brooke. We can get through this together; we have got the same emotions, the same thoughts, the same pains."

She shook her head, "No, no, it is not the same. You were hurt more."

"Nobody can measure that, Brooke. No one can measure the difference in the pain that we have experienced."

"I caused my pain; it was my entire fault."

"As was mine."

"You were under the influence of cocaine, Gavin took advantage of you."

"It wasn't Gavin."

"What? Where did this happen?"

"I woke up this morning…" Peyton told her the whole story.

"Peyton, you really don't deserve this, I really wish that I could have kept you in Tric last night. If I did, then we wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"Do you regret it?"

"No, I don't regret it. I just wish that the circumstances were better, Peyton. We cannot write our own paths, we have already figured that out, but I wish that we had more control. I mean the writer of Brooke must have thought that I was a lot stronger then I really am because I cannot handle all of this. I am 18 years old now; I am considered an adult now, but honestly I think I have been an adult since I was seven. And the adult world is kind of scary. Sometimes I lay in my bed at night and wonder what a childhood who be like, 'cause, I really doubt you can call what I had a childhood."

"You never let anyone in, Brooke. No one out there thinks that your life is this severe, no one would ever know. And that is because you never let anyone in your life. You put on this front that nothing matters and that you cannot get hurt. But that is all that you know."

"They can have their world, and their perceptions and misconceptions of me, but they don't live my world everyday, they do not know the person that I struggle to be. If they wanted to know the real person…"

"Then what? Brooke, you were not going to let them in, because you do not even know who that person is. How can you give anyone a tour into your life, when you could not even be the tour guide?"

"I don't know, Peyton. I don't know. I have lived this life so long as a fake that I do not even know what it is to be alive, to be real."

"How about you start today? Start again, when Haley opens up her eyes she is going to have to do the same thing. Do it with her, start again. No one has said that this is how your life always has to be, you can change it. This does not have to be you anymore."

"I really think that the person that I was disappeared when I walked out of Karen's café." She slipped; she let the truth slip a little further.

"Today? When you left today? Or another day? What day are you talking about, Brooke?"

"The night that I was attacked," it was Brooke's turn to tell her sad tale. And she told Peyton every detail, every thought that was rushing through her head, there was no reason to hold anything back.

"Is that the reason that you are so close with Haley now?"

"I was a horrible person when I walked into that café that night, and she did not even care what I have done to her. I was bruised, I was hurt and she did everything in her power to protect me. If she could do that, then I had to realize that the world was not as bad as I was letting it be, Haley was just one small example. She helped me through this dark time, so I want to be able to do something for her in return. I want her to open her eyes so she can enter this perfect world where she cannot feel anymore pain."

"But those kinds of worlds don't exist."

"For Haley, I wish that they did."

"I put her through hell, and I don't even know why. I guess since Nathan was my friend first, that I wanted to protect him…somehow. I think that I was so under the influence though, that it did not matter that I was causing her pain. It was just some fun to do, and it brought Gavin and me even closer. Where the hell did I find that one?"

"You deserve better."

"I don't deserve anything, Brooke. I could have taken better control of my life and the bad things in it, they would have never have happened. I let someone else take the lead and in the end I was not happy. But it was my choice to let go, it was my fault that things have turned out the way that they have."

"If that is what you live with, then I cannot change that. Do you think that when we were born that our lives were already written for us? Did someone write down in my book that I was never going to experience love no matter what I tried to do? And you would lose two mothers and take a down spiral in a life of cocaine?"

"I don't know, Brooke. I think when the author starts the book that they do not have a bad ending in mind. I mean isn't it everyone's dream to have a happy ending?"

"But not everyone is going to get a happy ending."

"Some people will though, and if it is limited, I guess we just have to fight for those spots, the spots of happiness."

"And fight like hell we must."

"What really happened to us, Brooke? How did we get here?"

"You mean right now, what tore us apart? Or what brought us back together? Life, Peyton that is all that I can tell you, which is all that I know."

"I want to be a better person, I want to change, and I want to take control of my life. I just don't know if I can do it."

"I am thinking that is a good place to start. Maybe you, me, and Haley, we are all going to take a course in life, maybe Life: for dummies. Because we must have done something wrong along the way, we are not doing a very good job."

"No, we aren't."

After a brief silence, Brooke was still concerned about Peyton, "Hey, did you get checked out, do you know if you…you know…have anything?"

"Karen actually took me to the clinic before we came here; they are going to call me whenever they know something. I am praying to the God that I have never done anything for, but I wishing and hoping that I am not pregnant, I do not think I could handle that, especially knowing that the child was created during rape."

"I am just talking from experience of a child born into a world without love, if you are pregnant, Peyton, which I pray to God you are not, please if you decide to bring this baby into the world, please, no matter if it is just you, bring him into the world with love. Just look how I turned out, I wouldn't want anyone else to turn out this way."

"Honestly, Brooke, I have known you for over a decade, and I do not ever think that you give yourself enough credit. Never. And you deserve a lot more. Just look at your life, and everything that you have, but have gotten without love and support. And look how well that you have turned out. You did this all alone; you are this strong all by yourself."

"I am only as strong as my heart is, not as strong as I appear to be. And you know what? That heart of mine is barely even there nowadays."

"At least yours is still there, can we say the same about Haley's?"

"I cannot even tell you that, not until she wakes up. But as I can see it, it is broken into a million tiny pieces, and I am just hoping that somehow they can put it back together, whether it be the doctors, Lucas, or even Nathan, someone. I do not know how much longer I can live knowing her heart is shattered, and I am getting by."

"But you really aren't getting by, Brooke. For all that the world and even you knows, your heart can be as broken as Haley's right now."

"Like you said, we don't know. And it is not of main concern right now. Can we drop the topic of me; we always lead back to it? I think that I have pretty much been focused on me for the first 18 years, I am thinking for the next 18 I am going to focus on some other people, some more worthy people."

"No one can get through to you, can they?"

Well one person could, "Brooke, Brooke, she is calling your name," Lucas said coming down the hall where the duo were sitting.

Brooke looked up, not believing what he just told her, it was exactly what she wanted to hear, but she could not move, she could not physically move. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she move? Haley needed her and her ass was cemented to the ground. Was this a sign? A sign that she was not going to be able to take what was in front of her? Was she not going to able to handle Haley's pain? Her mind was filled with so many questions that she did not even hear, Peyton talking to her.

"Brooke, Brooke. Aren't you going to go to her? Brooke, are you okay?"

"I can't. I can't move."

"This is the moment that you have been waiting for Brooke, you want to be Haley's hero, you cannot do that sitting on your ass," Lucas told her.

"Lucas," Peyton couldn't believe that he said that to her. "Brooke, you can do it, are you afraid of something? Are you afraid of failing? Because if that is true, then that is not possible, anything that you do right now for Haley will be saving her."

"I can't move, I cannot move," Brooke was scared, her body was honestly stopping her. "Lucas, can you please help me?"

"And I thought you could do everything yourself," he reached his hand down to grab hers and pulled her up.

Brooke was weak on her feet, she tried to walk but her legs failed her once more. Lucas held on to her, "Brooke, honestly, are you okay?"

"I am just a little weak on my feet, that is all."

Lucas helped her down the hall back to Haley's room, when she walked in she expected Haley to be sitting up with a smile on her face talking to Karen. But that is not what she found. Haley was not awake, or at least her eyes were not open. The machines were still attached to her, and Karen was holding her hand begging her to open her eyes again. Karen turned around when she heard footsteps, and her new face of concern was for Brooke, Lucas's arm was more then just causally placed on her waist. He was supporting her. "Brooke, are you okay?"

"She cannot even walk down the hall on her own two feet."

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I am just a little weak and overwhelmed that is all. Can I sit with her now?"

"Yeah, of course you can, sweetheart. She just squeezed my hand and said your name, and that is all that she has said. Maybe if you are here she will open her eyes."

"I am not going to leave her side again, I wasn't here before and her eyes are still closed. The only way that I am going to leave this room now is if she is with me."

"That might be some time Brooke, I talked with the doctors."

"Well then I am going to be here a long time. I have nothing else left to do. I really do not want to live this life for myself anymore anyways. It is about time that I stopped thinking about myself and be here for Haley. She was there when I thought no one else would. So I am here for her now, and I am not going to leave her side."

Karen looked from her son to Peyton, who made it to the room; they both had done damage to Brooke's heart. And Karen was not looking at them to point it out; she just looked at them to show her concern. When those girls woke up that morning, none of them knew that it was going to be their day of breaking point; it is not something that they could judge. But Karen looked at all of them, and Peyton surpassed her breaking point and she ended up in the hospital, and now she was starting a new path. Haley physically and mentally broke down, and she is currently in the hospital. Her future is not as clear as Peyton's right now. But at least that she is in the hospital, it was a step, she was no longer living with the physical pain that she had been. But Brooke. She might have passed her breaking point, but she was not getting some sort of treatment like the rest of them. When was this going to happen? Was she going to be okay?

"Haley, Haley, I am back, and this time I am not going to leave your side. So open your eyes. I want to talk to you. Please, open your eyes. I know that this is selfish, but I cannot handle this anymore. I cannot do it anymore. I am lost without you; I do not know what to do when your eyes are closed. What am I supposed to do?" Brooke held on to her hand, she was not going to let go. She was not going to have Haley thinking that she would leave her in her time of need.

The others left the room, letting Brooke be with Haley. Every one of them cared about Haley and her wellbeing. But all of them also cared about Brooke. And they knew that this is what she needed. "Is she going to be okay, Karen?"

"Which one?"


	28. Chapter 28

No one could answer that; no one could speak after that either. At least not for a while. Karen popped her head in really quick, "Brooke, we will be in the waiting room if you need us, okay?"

All she could do was nod her head. Karen took that and followed Lucas and Peyton to the lobby, and they waited. That was all that was left for them to do. No words could be spoken to make the situation any better, no actions either. So they sat there, praying, and that was all that they could.

"Haley, I am here, please just open your eyes for me."

After a few more seconds, Brooke got what she wanted, Haley squeezed her hand.

"Haley, just open your eyes."

Then she heard it, she got to hear what she had been waiting to hear, "Brooke," it was faint but the room was silent, so it was all that could be heard.

"I am here, Hales, I am here."

"Brooke, I need to know…something."

"Anything, what is it?"

"Am I going to be…okay?"

"Of course you are Haley, who have you been talking to? Because someone must be messing with your head. You are Haley James; you are the strongest girl I know, the strongest girl that Tree Hill has seen. You are going to make it."

"'Cause I got you," Haley gave her a weak smile.

"Of course you have me, but do not give me any credit, your strength is all your own. I just learned a few things from you. You helped me out and now I am helping you out, that is all."

"You don't give yourself enough credit for your strength."

"I am the weakest person you will ever meet."

"And the strongest."

"I am as weak as they come, I cannot make any right choices, and I have made so many mistakes. I cannot do anything right. I am a failure. I have nothing to my name, other then my parents' money. That is all that I have ever had, nothing real though, nothing for anyone to remember me by. Honestly, we graduate in two months right? You are going to be remembered as the smartest girl in our grade, who was also the famous Haley James. I mean how many kids can say that a rock star went to their high school? Peyton has her music and her art. She was also a cheerleader. So she will be remembered as the punk rock cheerleader. She leads her nights at Tric; she has something, anything to her name. Lucas, a shy bookworm who came out of his shell and joined the varsity basketball team. I mean he has got his stories to tell or not be told, but there is no way that any girl would forget those blue eyes. And come on he is always going to be a legend in this town. Two mothers, two brothers, one father, that is the Tree Hill we know. But me? I am forgettable. Who is going to want to remember the school slut? There is no need to remember me. I am just simply forgettable."

"I could never forget you. If one person remembers you Brooke, just one person, then you are not simply forgettable. Someone is always going to be thinking about you."

"How are you doing, Haley? What are you feeling right now?"

"I feel weak, I feel broken, and I feel lost."

"Haley, do you know why you are here? Do you know happened to you?"

"Yeah, I remember, I passed out at the beach that is all."

"No, no, that is not all, Haley. You were unconscious, not sleeping, unconscious, meaning that we could not get through to you. There was nothing that we could do to help you. And I know that you felt weak, and I know that you thought that you couldn't make it anymore. But as much as it hurt emotionally, physically you couldn't take it anymore. Your body couldn't take your pain any longer. Haley, you weren't eating, your body couldn't take it, your body shut down on you. This is serious stuff; this is serious damage that you have been doing to your body and your life. I know that your heart was broken, everyone could see that, but at the rate that you are living your life, it could honestly be the end of you. Why weren't you eating?"

"I have, honestly."

"I don't believe you; picking at your food is not eating it. That is all that you have been doing, even Lucas noted on it. It is not healthy, especially for a growing girl, especially for a girl as small as you."

"It wasn't intentional."

"I didn't think that it was, Haley. But you cannot live your life this way anymore. You have got to eat; you have got to move on with your life. Nathan may have broken your heart, but you have got to be the one to put it back together again. This is no longer your pain to be felt, it is his. It is your heart now, Haley, it is all yours."

"Is it really that easy? Just walk away, walk away from the love I thought was going to last a lifetime? We said our vows, and we vowed to love each other until death do us part. Is this death?"

"It might as well be with the way that he has been treating you. And the way that you have been treating yourself. 'Cause if you do not do something soon Haley, like let Nathan go, your death is going to be imminent at age 18."

"Don't say that, that is scary. That is not how it is supposed to be."

"Well it is the truth, and you need to hear it. I don't want to lose you Haley, and this might be selfish, but I don't think that I could live with out you in my life. And there are even more people in the lobby that feel the same way that I do. You are better then a broken heart, you are better then Nathan, you are your own person. You are your own you," Brooke looked at her, she was scared, she did not know if she was going to be okay, she did not know if she was going to be able to do it. There was no one there to help Brooke mend her broken heart, and she was still feeling it daily. So she was praying to God that if she was there for Haley, that she was going to be okay. That is all that she really wanted anyways.

"You are not going to lose me, I am right here."

"I know that, and I can see you laying there. But you are not okay when you are hooked up to numerous machines, they are the only thing keeping you alive right now, your body was so weak that it cannot fit anything that comes in contact with it. So it is all up to you whether you are going to make it or not. 'Cause, I am afraid that your body has failed you." Haley didn't say anything, so Brooke took in this picture one more time, "Haley, I really wish that you could see yourself right now, the bed it basically absorbs you, I cannot even see you."

"I am right here."

"Yes, you are," Brooke got up and kissed Haley on the forehead, and then she stumbled backwards, "Whoa, buddy."

"Are you okay, Brooke? What is the matter?"

"Nothing is wrong, I am just exhausted, it has been the longest day. Do you even remember this morning?"

It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it was just that morning that Brooke had seen her cry, her morning tears more prevalent each day. Was it really only that morning that she stood in the rain with the hope of happiness? The rain always seemed to bring Haley and Nathan closer together, not today, not this time.

Then it hit Brooke, she never got to confront Haley about the mark on her neck, it was more visible now. It only happened the night before; it was not going away anytime soon. "Haley, what happened to your neck?"

Haley really wasn't expecting it, nor was it on top of her mind. She took her weak arm to her neck, seeing if it really was still there. "Nothing really that important, Brooke, I mean it doesn't even hurt."

"I do not even care if it hurt or not, the only thing that I care about is that you did not have it when we went to Tric last night, and you had it the next morning. So either you had a really crazy dream that you do not want to talk about, or something happened last night. I think it might be the latter, Haley. What happened last night?"

"Gavin threatened me, that is all."

"What? Haley, he threatened you? What do you mean by that?"

"The show was about to start, and Gavin was no where to be found. So I went to the back room, I know I was not supposed to go back there, but I needed to. I walk in and I see Gavin, I see Peyton, and I see cocaine. Peyton was gone, so far gone. And Gavin did not want me repeating this to anyone."

"So what happened to your neck?"

"He just held on and he wouldn't let go."

"Oh my gosh Haley, he could have killed you."

"Honestly, I thought he was going to, maybe it would have been better though."

"Stop it, are you kidding me? Haley, death would not have been the answer, especially at the hands of Gavin. No, never think that again."

"He has so much power, so much power over me, and he doesn't even know me. He knew all my pain that I was feeling and he took it and twisted it. I never thought that I could feel more pain like that, but he took it even further. He told me what I should be feeling, and it was dead on. He told me that I did not deserve this life, that I should have just stayed away. I mean I ruined the lives of everyone that I loved. Should I have really stayed away? He made me wonder. What have I done?"

"You are a girl that followed her dreams; nothing that he said can ever change that. I never had anyone in my life tell me follow your dreams, but I have seen a lot of movies, and that is what everyone wants, Haley. Just to be able to say I followed my dream, my passion, and hey you know what, I was good. I made it, I accomplished the feat. There are a lot of dreaming people out there, but not a lot of dream followers."

"That is what I always thought, but after I left I realized that I wasn't carrying around the love I thought I once held in my heart. I realized something else as I walked around and felt a lot heavier, pain weighed more then love. I do not even know if I ever took it all in. I mean I was touring with Michelle Branch and Gavin DeGraw, mainstream artists, and all I could think about was Nathan and his diminishing love. What dream? The only thing that I was thinking about my forever with Nathan, each day forever was getting smaller and smaller. I called him; I called him so many times. And when he did not pick up, I thought he might not be there, maybe he moved on with his love. But I couldn't completely give up on my forever. I told Michelle Branch and even Chris Keller, thank you for this opportunity, but I am only 17 years old, I want to graduate high school, I want to have friends. I know that I got married when I was 17, and that is a pretty adult move, it is funny, but being on the tour just didn't seem like the right choice. So I came home and I needed to see for myself if my husband really stopped loving me. And I found out that he did. I just couldn't take it. I should have just stopped; I should have just given up when he wouldn't tell me that he loved me back. He might have never loved me at all, and I just have to live with it."

"Whose life are you living?"

"I couldn't even tell you anymore."

"Well then something is not right, and something needs to be changed. If you are not living your own life, then it means that you give up. And Haley James does not give up, not on anyone, not on herself."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I am sure about it Haley."

"How did we get here? Because you see if I had known this is how it would have turned out, I would never have believed you. Brooke Davis in my hospital room by my side, never in a million years. Peyton with a one named cocaine addict. Lucas Scott breaking a girl's heart. Nathan not loving me. And me in a hospital bed grieving a broken heart from a boy I never thought I could ever love, ever love. Ha. Who thought of this one? Life never goes the way that you think it is going to go."

"It would be too easy."

"I never thought that I would say it but sometimes I wish I could just take the easy way out. Go back in the past; never have helped Nathan when he came to me. Or if I didn't see past him then, when he told me that he was just going after me to get back at Lucas, I should have said goodbye. Then I would not be living with a broken heart. I would just be a tutor girl nerd, fighting the world with Lucas. And my dreams would still be there, but just a little further away, and never music, the only reason that I went anywhere with music is because Nathan made me sing to him once. It took one time and I had a new dream. I never wanted this dream. Maybe something would have changed about Peyton's life and yours. Maybe just maybe if I could change something about my life, then it could change everyone else's."

"Lucas would never have gotten close with his brother, Nathan could have pushed him away, and Lucas could have quit basketball. Lucas loves basketball. Would you really want him to miss out of that? And just because you turn back time, it will not change the fact that Peyton lost two mothers and the man that she loved. You have no control over her life."

"I could have been there for her more."

"That is what we all want to say, that is what we all want to do. If we cannot fix our own life, then we want to go back and fix the people that we care about lives. It does not happen like that."

"If Nathan never went after me to get back at Lucas, then Lucas would have never been put in the popular world, and he could have never broken your heart. Lucas is my best friend, but he is a guy and I have not come across that many guys who know how to handle a girl's heart. I am sorry that he hurt you."

"Haley, Haley, you cannot do this, you cannot go back in the past and fix everyone's lives somehow. That is not how it goes. Yeah you could go back and change things but you know what it would change a lot of other things. If you went back in the past, you would have never have moved out of your parents house, and we would have never have been roommates. We would have never had what we have now. And I know that this is selfish because the alternative for you is a full heart, but I am selfish person, and I do not know if I want the world changed."

"What happens if you could go back to a time where you could tell your parents how you really feel? What happens if you could live a life with loving parents?"

"Haley, I don't know, I really don't know. I couldn't tell you if living with loving parents would actually made me happy. Would I have my freedom? I mean I know I am not a big fan of my lack of childhood, but Peyton and her dad gave me the best replacement childhood I could ever ask for. Some people are not as lucky as I have been, I had something, and some people never do. I really was not alone all the time. I guess I have to look back and not take the entire negative and just look at the positive. No, I did not have parents that were active in my life but I had the Sawyers. Maybe Lucas broke my heart, but I have never felt love any other way. And I met you. I mean life is never going to be perfect; I just have to take it how I get it. I do not know maybe if we were allowed to change the past, our future would be more screwed up them before."

"Then I have just have to take it as it was dealt. Maybe there is more love in my future, maybe I have yet to feel it."

"We really don't know, Haley."

Peyton decided that it had been a little while, and among the three of them, she volunteered to see how the two of them were doing, "Hey," she said knocking on the door gently, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in, Peyton," she stepped in and Haley noticed the cast on her arm, "what happened?" Haley asked totally confused. Why does Peyton have a cast on her arm, what happened to her?

"Let's just say I got into a little altercation."

"With Gavin?" Haley asked pretty sure of the answer.

"Yeah with Gavin. We just got into a little argument, it should have never have happened, things just got out of hand."

"You are sure as hell right that it got out of hand, but more then just a little, you had a concussion and a broken arm, which is a little more then just out of hand."

"Gavin did this to you? I knew that he was not a good guy. I cannot believe that he came back into my life."

"What are you talking about Haley?" Brooke asked her, looking at Peyton, both of them very perplexed.

"Taylor, my older sister, she dated him. He was older, she was wild, my parents disapproved, so it was a perfect match, or that is what she thought," Haley told them a little more about Gavin and Taylor's relationship, whatever that consisted of, "Taylor always did pick the wild ones, but she always seemed to pick the ones that hurt her too. When I saw Gavin reappear in my life, I decided to let what I knew about him slide, slide for the moment. A few years had past and he could have changed, he never knew me, he didn't know that I was Taylor's sister. So I gave him a chance, and then I realized that he was dating you, Peyton, and I was afraid, afraid of what he might do. But there was nothing that I could do; we lost you a little while back. And whoever he was now, he really didn't change. But I had to give him that chance; you always have to give someone a chance. What happens if no one ever gave you a chance? Where would you be? Everyone deserves one, you never know that chance could bring you happiness or a heart filled of love. But you don't know unless that chance is taken."

"Gavin's mother died before his graduation day, after that he was never the same," Brooke said it aloud, she really did not know why, but she did, and it was out there. She looked at the now confused faces of both Peyton and Haley, and she owed them the story that she knew. And she did.

"Gavin's father treated Haley?"

"Yeah, and he is a good guy, he never wanted his son to hurt, he had to grieve enough from the death of his wife, he never thought he would lose his son as well."

"We didn't write the books, I think that is the lesson that we learned from all of this, the thing we like to call life, that thing that likes to paint us the pictures."

"So where do we go from here?"

"Change, another path."

"So when do I get out of here?" Haley said looking all around at all the wires that were keeping her her.

"Well you have to get better first, right now I doubt you could even walk out of here without support."

"Well I bet you couldn't either, I saw how weak you were, Brooke."

"Please, can you just look at the day that we have had, two friends rushed to the hospital, two broken hearts, revelations revealed, paths lost, yeah it has been kind of a rough day."

"Yeah and like you said Peyton and I ended up in the hospital we do not want you to join us for a stay."

"I am totally fine, just tired."

"Well I talked to the nurses and they said that we are only allowed one visitor at a time and Karen really wanted to see Haley. You need a break anyways."

"Are you really one to tell me what I need?"

"Brooke, are we going there? I know you are upset, but right now you do not know what you need right now."

"Brooke, she is right. Even though Peyton and I have had hospital visits, we are not suffering as much as you have. I mean seeing your best friend on a gurney, having to see me at the beach. I mean that is heart wrenching, unforgettable things, and that is a lot to deal with by yourself."

"Fine, fine if you want to get rid of me so bad then fine, I will leave," there was no reason for Brooke to all of a sudden get so angry but it just happened, it did not matter how many times she released her tears today, nothing mattered, no matter what she did the pain did not go away. It would not go away. And she did not want to feel pain anymore. Brooke got up from where she was sitting and she came crashing back down.

"Brooke," Haley called her name in desperation trying to get up from where she lay, but Peyton had to go over and stop her.

"Haley, no, no, just lay here, just lay down."

"Brooke, Brooke," Haley called, "Peyton, do something, help her," Haley was worried, she knew that the weight of the world was going to crush Brooke one day, was it this day? Was it today?


	29. Chapter 29

"Brooke, Brooke," Haley called, "Peyton, do something, help her," Haley was worried, she knew that the weight of the world was going to crush Brooke one day, was it this day? Was it today?

"You have to stay here, Haley. You cannot move, okay? I am going to help Brooke, but you cannot move." When Peyton was sure that Haley was not going to move, she went over to Brooke, she was passed out. What was going on? How did this happen? "Brooke, Brooke," she said gently shaking her, "Brooke, wake up, c'mon, Brooke."

"Peyton, maybe you need to get a doctor, or get Lucas, or Karen. Someone. She cannot take this anymore. No she is not experiencing the physical pain her self, but she is feeling all the emotional pain. And that is a lot, a lot of pain."

"Are you going to be okay if I leave you?"

"I am going to be fine, please help her."

What was Peyton supposed to do? She had never been in a situation like this before, what was the right thing to do, what would be a fatal mistake? She rushed out of there, trying to decide whether to get a nurse or Lucas. What would Lucas do? Brooke even said that all he wanted to do was be the hero, and he really couldn't all the time. How was it fair to let one person be the hero all the time? Peyton found a nurse, "Excuse me, my friend, she fainted, I don't know why. She got up and she fell down."

"Where is she?"

"Haley James's room."

"Okay, let's go. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I am fine."

"I just remember treating you earlier."

"Oh I am fine, now I am here with another friend, it has just been one of those days, I guess."

They made it back into Haley's room, and they both found Haley on the ground, in the gown, with Brooke's head in her lap, "She won't wake up," Haley looked up into the eyes of the people staring at her, she was so desperate, so weak.

"Miss James, you have got to get back into bed, we will help your friend, but you have got to get back into your bed because you might collapse as well, your body is not strong enough to have you on the ground."

Peyton went over to Haley and held onto her waist, and boosted her back into her bed, "I told you to stay in your bed."

"She was all alone."

Within seconds there were more nurses in the room, a male nurse bent down and picked Brooke up, "What are you going to do with her?"

"We are just going to run some tests, we think she is just dehydrated, we are going to give her some fluids, but she is going to be just fine."

"Thank you, did you hear that Haley?"

"Yeah I heard that, but it doesn't mean anything to me right now," she said it as one of the nurses were hooking all of her wires back up.

"I am going to go get Karen, but Haley; you cannot leave this bed this time."

"I have no place to go."

Peyton rushed out of there, not trusting Haley's word at all, she was frantic trying to get past all of the orderlies and doctors, just trying to get to the lobby, Karen could sense Peyton's franticness, "Peyton, what is wrong?"

"Brooke fainted, and Haley is awake."

"Brooke fainted?" Lucas repeated.

"Yeah, she got really upset, got up to leave, and she fainted."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"The nurse thought that she was just dehydrated."

"Okay, I am going to go sit with Haley, one of you want to come with me and one of you want to go sit with Brooke?"

"I do not think that Brooke would want to see me when she wakes up," Lucas informed his mother.

"What did you say to her?"

"I insinuated that she was a hopeless case."

"Lucas, she has never been given any hope in her life, and for you to do that."

"I know Ma, I know."

"I will go sit with her, Karen. She is going to be okay, she is Brooke. You go talk to Haley; she needs some more guidance then just teenaged girls."

"I will be back in a little bit."

"Where are you going this time, Lucas?"

"I will come back, I always do."

Peyton gave Karen a look, in which she returned it, and then they both went their separate ways, good thing no one else was in need, because they were running out of people to play heroes.

"Hey sweetheart, I am glad to see that you are awake," Karen said as she walked into Haley's room.

"I don't know, Karen, I do not know how much better the world is when I am awake. More friends hurt, more pain. I thought that the world would have been better. But if you are not in pain then someone you care about is. That is life though; there is no way around it."

"You were forced to grow up a lot earlier then most people your age."

"I wasn't forced, Karen, it was my choice. This is what I wanted, this is what I chose. No body forced Nathan and I to get married, I thought I knew what love was and I was going to run with it. I must have run too far, too far away. Because there is no more love to go around."

"But it doesn't mean you have to give up on love. There is still a lot left to find, a lot left to feel. You are young, not a lot of people find love at your age. You are one of the lucky ones."

"How do you define luck, Karen? Because I do not feel very lucky to be in this hospital bed right now. I do not feel very lucky to follow my dreams, alone. And I am not very lucky to lose the love I thought I had forever."

"Then maybe wrong choice of words, Haley. Your love was not a lie. Any time that you two walked into a room, the world got a little bit brighter, there was more hope to go around. And maybe it did not last as long as we would have liked, but it happened, and you are never going to forget it, no one is."

"Can I fight anymore, Karen? Can I fight for this love anymore? Or do I just let it go, do I move on?"

"I cannot answer that question for you, Haley. I know two things: I have known you for a decade, and no one has made you as happy as Nathan and no one has caused you more pain then Nathan. It is up to you which one you can endure the most. What means the most to you?"

"I don't know the answer either. But the one thing that I know is I do not know how much love can erase the pain. I do not know where it ends that it doesn't cancel it out anymore. The only thing that I am afraid of is that as I am crossing out the emotions, the only thing that I am going to be left with is pain."

"Whatever you are left with Haley, I want you to take it and create an even better life for yourself. I want you to be happy, there has been enough pain and heartache in your 18 years; I want you to find true happiness that lasts more then a year."

"I think that is all that I want."

"Hey sleepy head," Peyton said to a groggy Brooke, they had put some meds in with her fluids, but she was up, and she was okay.

"Hi," she said rubbing her eyes, then touching her head where she fell. "What happened?"

"You fainted miss I am just fine. I really do not think that you were fine."

"Peyton, what's the deal, I need to get back to Haley. Where is the nurse or doctor or whoever the hell that is going to release me?"

"What do you not get about you fainted?"

"What do you not get about I am fine?"

"You are stubborn, the most stubborn that I have ever met. When you are not okay, you are not okay, enough said. You do not have to make excuses, especially when you are visibly not okay."

"When have I ever been visibly okay, Peyton?"

"I don't know, Brooke. But I was hoping that you could come to realize that there are limits, emotional limits and you have surpassed them over and over again."

"Then maybe I do not know my limits."

"I am pretty sure that you don't."

"So what do you want me to do then, Peyton, 'cause I have apparently not been learning anything along the way."

"You need to get better first; you have got to mend that broken heart that has been tearing you down for so long."

"I don't think that I know how to live another way. I guess I am just naïve though, if I am not in love then living with a broken heart it just comes in second place. Because you cannot get your heart broken if you have never been in love, and maybe just maybe a broken heart is just a reminder of what love is, and maybe I did not want to let go, not just yet, not just now. When you are in love then you are not alone, and I don't want to be alone, so a broken heart kept me alive."

"There are more ways Brooke."

"Well I don't know any other ways, Peyton. And I think that it is just too late for me to learn."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"What it means is that in a few months everyone that I care about is going to be somewhere else, and I am going to be all alone, I mean it is the only way I know, so no surprise there."

"Our future is far away, Brooke, you cannot be living in the future right now, live in the present, live right now. There is no way that you can make it to the future if you don't. So whatever it is that is keeping you back, you better fix it right now, no one is promised a future."

"I don't know how, Peyton, I have never cared like this before, I have never cared about my future, or my heart like this before. I have never felt anything before, not like this, not ever."

"That doesn't mean anything, which is why they are called beginners. You have got to start somewhere, and you know it is okay if it is right now. The sooner you start, the sooner you will find something real in your life, Brooke. That is what you need, something real, something worth living for."

"Well now cannot really start anytime soon if I am stuck in this hospital bed."

"Miss Davis?" Dr. Jenson said walking into the room, "hey, I was talking to you just a couple hours ago, what happened?"

"I think that is your job."

"She stood up and she fell right back down."

"Let me look at your chart here, exhaustion and dehydration Miss Davis. Been a long week?"

"Been a long last half of year."

"Well you just need to take it easy from now on, too much stress could end you up in here again, and as pretty as that face is of yours, I do not want to see you again."

Peyton extended her non-casted arm, "Thank you, doctor."

"She seems like a good cause."

"She is, don't you worry."

"What happened to you there?"

"Oh this thing," she said lifting up her cast.

"Umm Doctor Jenson, this is my friend Peyton, she is dating your son."

This surprised both of them, did Brooke really just tell the truth to them.

"I am sorry for what he did to you."

"I am okay though, don't worry about it."

"Oh I am not allowed to admit that I am okay, but you are."

"It is different, Brooke."

"How so?"

"Okay, I am sorry; I know that I know nothing about either of you other then the few minutes that I have spoken to you. But I lived this life a little longer, which means nothing, but there is something that I have learned along the way. We all lie to ourselves, and it is because we do not want to admit that we have been hurt or that we are wrong. We all just want life to be perfect, for happiness and for love to be real, and pain to be something that we never knew existed. But life is not the fairytale we envisioned it to be, it is a lie. But one thing that never seems to fail is that even if we do not know ourselves, our friends always seem to know what is right for us. No matter how much we do not want to admit that someone else knows us better then we know ourselves. Well I hope that everything works out for the two of you. You both need to take it easy for a little bit now. And you both need to realize how much the other really means to you. You never know how long that she is going to be around."

Without another word, Doctor Gavin Jenson left the two best friends. And yes they were best friends, time and pain doesn't change that. "I guess a doctor is all it takes to knock some sense in us."

"There has got to be some changes in our lives, no more broken hearts, and no more pain, let's try happiness. And no, it is not going to start today, but this world is ours for the taking, we cannot sit back and let someone else take over pilot."

"It is not going to be easy."

"Hey, have you never seen A League of Their Own? 'It is supposed to be hard; if it wasn't hard then everyone would be doing it.'"

"Yeah, I have seen it, Geena Davis hears that from Tom Hanks and then what does she do, she walks away, because 'it just got too hard.'"

"But she came back, she came back and faced it, she played the game."

"She lost Peyton, she lost the game."

"She might have lost the baseball game, Brooke, but she won something more, she got a chance to see her sister happy. We really do not know if she dropped the ball on purpose or not, I think that is what the writers wanted. We can write our own endings, Brooke, we are the authors of our lives from now on."

Brooke, we are the authors of our lives from now on."

"What the hell are you doing? It is two o'clock in the morning," Dan said stepping out of his house, "people are trying to sleep and you are banging on my door."

"I need to talk to Nathan."

"It couldn't have waited until tomorrow."

"I need to talk to him now."

"What is this about?"

"I am not going to stand here and talk to you; I need to talk to Nathan."

"What is this about Lucas, you tell me and I will get Nathan."

"Haley is in the hospital."

"Mental? Because that is where that whore belongs."

"You did not just say that about Haley."

"Oh I was just speaking the truth."

"You know nothing about Haley."

"She left her husband, which is all that I need to know."

"Well the reason that she is in the hospital right now is because of that husband. I just thought that I would come and tell him that."

"Haley is in the hospital?" Nathan asked from behind them.

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, Nathan isn't home," Dan had to laugh at himself.

"Yeah she is, Nathan. And are you going to do anything about it?"

"Well it looks like it is a little late if she is already there, don't you think?" Dan asked both boys.

"It is never too late," Lucas rebutted.

"Where are you going?" Nathan asked as Lucas walked away.

"I screwed up too, but I am going to fix it. What are you going to do about it?"

"She isn't worth it, Nate. Hello, basketball scholarship to any college in the country. What else could you ever want?"

"I wanted to be in love, I wanted to be with the person that I married forever. But that didn't happen, I lost forever. Now I have to let her go."

"You should have never had held on."

"Why because for one time in my life I had something that you could never have, Dad?" Dan looked at him quizzically, "Love."

"Ha, she could never have known what it is."

"How would you ever know?"

"You were 17, you did not know what love was, it was just some infatuation, it wasn't real, Son."

"How would you ever know what was real or not? The only time that I was ever happy was when I was with Haley, but you never wanted me to be happy, you just wanted me to be good at basketball. Well you got what you wanted Dad, because I lost Haley tonight, all that I have left is basketball."

"It is about time that some sense got knocked into you."

"We are still waiting for the same to happen to you," he said walking back from where he had come from.

"Where are you going?"

"I screwed up."


	30. Chapter 30

"Hey Ma, I am back. Do you think that it would be okay if I talk to Haley for a little bit?"

"Yeah, I am going to go check on Brooke, but when I come back I think that we should all go to sleep, it has been a really long day."

"Hey, Buddy," Lucas said as he sat down in the chair that his mom had previously vacated. He just looked at her, there were so many more images that he was not going to be able to erase from his mind. But it was just going to be a reminder to him that he never wanted Haley to be like that again, and if he had the reminder then it was his power that was going to stop her from feeling like that once more.

"How do I look?" Haley joked.

"You look sick, Haley."

"I am sick, Luke, sick in love with some who doesn't love me back."

Speaking of Nathan struck a cord with Lucas, "I am so sorry, Hales."

"For what Lucas? You did not pull him out of love; you did not pull him away from me. So what are you apologizing for?"

"I was supposed to protect you; I was supposed to protect you from everything bad that this world had to offer. I was supposed to protect you from the bad boys, and the pain, and the world. But I failed you, I let you go, and you got hurt."

"Lucas, the vow that you made when we were eight was not going to last forever, and we both knew it. It was a valiant effort, but you cannot protect me forever. And this time I was able to feel the pain, and I knew it was real. But I have never felt it like this before, and that is because of you. There are not a lot of people out there that get their own protectors, and I got one for 10 years. So thank you Lucas, but I do not want an apology."

"I let you go because I believed that your husband would take over, I never knew that he would be the one that you needed protection from. I would have never had left you go if I known otherwise."

"Yeah, okay, so what would you do with it if you could see the future? At the rate I was going with Nathan, I do not think that anything or anyone could have pulled me apart from him. Luckily, you cannot see the future, which would ruin a lot of things. We have got to live this life for ourselves, we cannot have someone see into the future for us and tell us how is goes. We have got to make mistakes, we have got to get our hearts broken, and we have got to move on. We cannot dwell on any of these things forever. If we did there would be no future to picture, because it would never change. We would already know the outcome."

"You have got to let go of him, I know that you love him, but what he is doing to you, that is not love."

"You know what Lucas? I had to live to know that. I have been dwelling for some time now and nothing was changing, it is time for change."

"It is his loss."

"I could have shown him forever."

"You did…for a while."

"Then I left."

"And you broke his heart."

"What about my dreams?"

"They were yours for the chasing. Do you regret it?"

"Am I selfish if I say no?"

"You are never selfish for chasing your dreams."

"I do not regret chasing my dreams, but I regret the way that I left."

"You didn't even say goodbye."

"I know, I know, but I never thought that I really was going to go. I mean he told me if I go to not come back. He left and I did not know what to do other then cry my eyes out. Then by some will, I have yet to figure out whose, my feet got me to the bus station. And another will got me onto that bus. I left my husband, I left my best friend. But I followed my dreams. I had the time of my life, but there was something missing. My husband, my best friend. I mean every night there were thousands of people chanting my name, my name, but there were some voices that I was not hearing. Then Nathan had his accident, and I knew that it would have never had happened if I had been there. So I had to come home, I had to be there for him, but he told me he did not want me to come home. What do I do now? I mean my heart is telling me to go home and then my husband is telling to stay away. I mean apparently he does not want me there, I ruined what we had. After another week, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go home and see if there was anything left, anything left fighting for."

"Did you find it?"

"I lost it, Luke, I lost it all."

"You didn't lose me."

"And that is one of the reasons that I do not regret coming back. If I can have you in my life again, I am not going to give that up."

"I am sorry that I was not the friend that you needed when you came back. I was tangled in my own demons."

"Lucas, you cannot always go saving me. It was time for me to fight alone for a little while, that is what I needed, to see if I could do it."

"And your fighting alone ended you up in a hospital bed; I do not think that you did a very good job."

"Is that really your place to say, Luke?"

"Why can't it be?"

"You fought your own battle after Keith died, you did not let anyone in."

"Keith died, Haley, Nathan did not die."

"So you are going to compare the two now. Maybe Nathan did not die, but I lost him, Lucas, and loss can be experienced the same way. It all hurts the same."

"Okay. But I am always going to be protective of you; you are like my little sister. You never want to see family hurting."

"What about Nathan though, he is your family too?"

"It is hard, Hales. It is really hard. I mean he is my brother, but we have never been close. Well until a force of nature in the form of you brought us together. But he tore you apart, and I cannot let that happen. I had to make the decision to which I had to stand by, and I chose you."

"I really wish that I was not the cause of tearing two brothers apart."

"You brought us together though, and we never had that, I cherished that time. And it is not to say that some day, we can like each other again, but we are always going to be brothers, Hales. Whether we like it or not we are always going to be connected through Dan."

"Urgh, please do not talk about that man."

"I am sorry, he isn't very nice to you, and I apologize for him."

"Lucas, you have no control over Dan, his words, or his actions."

"I am always going to be his son."

"But that doesn't define you."

"I suppose that you are right."

"Lucas, I am Tutor girl, of course I am right. So how is that girl that gave me my namesake?"

Lucas faced changed again, "I don't know, I haven't seen her. And I do not even think that she would want to see me. I messed things up with her, more then one time. I do not know where to go from here."

"Whatever has happened in the past, it is over, the past is done. You have got to live in the present, so that the two of you can have a future. Isn't that what you want?"

"It is all that I want. But I held her heart and I did not even know it."

"Then maybe you weren't ready then."

"I do not think that she is going to trust me again."

"You don't know that. I mean right now, you might be right. But that has more to do with the fact that all these emotions that she has never felt before are surfacing. With you she was trying something new; she was trying to be herself, someone that no one else had ever seen. And her heart broke; she was tired and resorted back to the only self that she had ever known. She is trying to be herself once more. She has felt pain for the first time, it has always been there, but she just never cared enough to feel it. She does now, and she is a new person. So right now she might not be ready to give her heart away, it has a little to do with her scar tissue and a little to do with the inexperience she is feeling. Give her time, that is what she needs, that is what we all need."

"Can I really change the past?"

"You can never change the past, Lucas, but you can change the future. The future has yet to be written. The past is done. Live in the now."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"No one really knows if we are going to be okay, Luke. But you cannot stop trying for that fact. You have got to live and learn, it is the only way. It is going to take a little time for me to get used to being alone and not in a forever kind of love, but I am going to be okay. I am going to see how it feels to do it differently. I have just got to mend the heart that is in a million different pieces. I just wish that Nathan could put the pieces back together again. Because I liked my heart a whole lot more together."

"As did I."

"It really is over, isn't it?"

"It is not really over as it is just the beginning."

"Nathan?"

"What about him?"

She pointed behind Lucas, "Nathan, are you really here?"

"Am I too late?"


	31. Chapter 31

Karen now walked into another girl's room. Was this ever going to end? It just seemed like a never ending cycle. When she walked in she saw a sight, a sight that she was not expecting to see for awhile. Peyton was in Brooke's hospital bed and they were laughing, laughing about the past, the good times that they could never forget. Brooke saw Karen, "We are ready to change."

"I am glad to hear that, because we all need a change around here. Something is not right when the girls that I care about the most are sad."

"We are not sad anymore."

"That is all that I want to know."

"Yeah you are too late," Lucas said in response to Nathan's question.

"Lucas, let me talk to him."

"How is that fair? You wanted to talk to him and he broke your heart. So now that he wants to talk to you, you are just going to do as he says."

"Lucas, let me make my own mistakes. You go and try to fix yours."

"You need to rest."

"I will, Luke, I will. Just give me a few minutes, okay?"

"Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"Lucas."

"If you hurt her anymore then she has already been hurt."

"Lucas."

"Okay, I am out of here."

They both waited until Lucas left until they said anything. "Why are you here, Nathan? Why now?"

"Lucas said that you were in the hospital."

"Yup, here I am. Where were you when my heart broke? Where were you when the pieces did not go back together again? Where were you when the beach washed away? Why now, Nathan?"

"I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"And then what? Take away all my pain? It is too late for that, because pain is my new best friend."

"Haley, I had my own share of pain."

"I am not saying that you didn't, not at all. I mean I have experienced the loss of a spouse, I know what it feels like, and it is not a good feeling."

"I gave up everything for you, Haley, everything."

"I never asked you to give up anything Nathan. It was a marriage, a joining, not a giving away of everything that we knew. Yeah, along the way we were going to have to make sacrifices, but that is what marriage is. And I thought that is what we have."

"If you thought that we had it then why did you walk away from it? Why did you leave me? I mean I thought that we had it too, Haley."

"You told me to leave, Nathan, do you not remember? Because there is not one day that I can't help but remember."

"You kissed Chris; you think that I could just forget that. I was angry, and you lied to me, I was getting all of this at once."

"But I had an opportunity to follow my dreams and I had no support from you, what was I supposed to do? You wanted me to walk away from my dreams?"

"I did the same thing for you. High Fliers was my dream, I turned it down."

"There is a difference, I never asked you to do it. It was all your choice; you told me that you did not get it. How was I supposed to know the difference? I trusted you; I did not think that you would lie to me. I never asked you to turn it down. But when I was given this opportunity you wanted me to say no."

"Haley you wouldn't even have a dream like this if it wasn't for me."

"How can you say that to me?"

"I am the one that sent Peyton the file, if I never did that then you would have never have performed on opening night, and Chris Keller would have never have heard you, and wanted you to go on tour with him."

"Wait, if we are going to be naming things like that, if you had never sent the file then Chris would never had heard me. This is your fault. You had more to do in this then I ever did, Nathan. You want to blame someone, then blame yourself."

"But things did happen, Haley. And we got married; we vowed to be with each other forever. But you just couldn't wait that long to get away from me, could you?"

"The thing that you always fail to remember time and time again is that I came back. I came back for you. I came back for us. And that is never going to be enough for you, is it?"

"I crashed into a wall because of you."

"As I recall that was all you Nathan, you were the one driving."

"Maybe I was driving the car, but you were driving my heart."

"And you think someone else had a handle on mine?"

"I have a few guesses."

"Nathan, there was one small, meaningless kiss between me and Chris. One. It never went further then that."

"Every kiss means something."

"Okay you want to know what that kiss meant to me, it meant nothing, nothing at all to me. The only thing that is reaffirmed was my love for you. My kiss with Chris, it was a mistake. One that should have never had happened. You see I can take the blame. But one kiss should have never have torn us apart."

"But it did."

"You let it."

"You are blaming the downfall of our marriage all on me?"

"Of course not Nathan, just like it takes two to fall in love, it takes two to tear it apart. But it should have taken two to bring it back together again."

"That isn't going to happen now, is it?"

"My heart just cannot take it anymore. I came home for you, I gave up my dreams for the hope, the small glimmer of hope that you would take me back. And that hope is gone, and so is the last two months. Too much time has past, we were not meant to be."

"So we are going to give into all of the skeptics out there. Those who said we were naïve to get married in high school. So many people told us that it would never work. Are you telling me that all those people are right?"

"For a while I would say no, but awhile is gone, and those people are right. Marriage is an adult thing, Nathan, we were just kids, we still are, and age does not change that. We couldn't handle each other's dreams or each other's love, we couldn't handle a marriage. And as much as I never wanted to give into the skeptics, it is something that we are going to have to do."

"I loved you Haley, more then I thought I could love anyone."

"Loved is in the past tense, Nathan. What about right now? Do you love me right now? Or is it in the past?"

"Is there anything left fighting for?"

"There is everything worth fighting for, but maybe it is not for us. Maybe love was not meant for us, Nathan, maybe not this kind of love. Nathan, do you even know how much you hurt me? Maybe I am being selfish, but I have never felt pain like this before I met you."

"I never cared before I met you."

"Maybe we were not meant to be together forever, but just for a little while, so we could live. Live lives that we would have never have lived if we had not met."

"I don't regret marrying you, Haley."

"I don't regret falling in love."

"Where do we go from here?"

"Day by day. I mean things are not going to go back to normal anytime soon. And love is not going to just reappear. We just have to deal with the fact that we were not meant to be. As much as it hurts, we have got to move on. In the last four months of my life I had everything and lost it all at the same time. I never wanted to lose you, Nathan, but you have hurt me too much. I know that I hurt you as well; I am not going to deny it. Don't they say you hurt the ones you love the most. Well you must have really loved me, and yes, loved is in the past tense. This morning was the last morning that I was going to wake up with tears in my eyes. Tears for the fact you are not there, that you don't love me, and tears for each day I lost hope. Hope is gone; all I have left is reality. Love hurts, love is a battlefield, love ends. It ended today."

"I never thought that I would be like Dan."

"You are his son."

"That shouldn't make me who I am though. I could have been better then him."

"Well you make sure that with the next girl you do that."

"Haley, are we really over?"

"How long did you think I was going to wait, Nathan? You thought that I could fluctuate my happiness and sadness for the next few months, years, and then we could go back to each other and be back madly in love. You might have given up on our love a long time before I got home, but it would have been nice if you told me so. The only reason I would wake up each morning was the hope that you would love me. It would have been so much easier if you let me go when you stopped believing in us. I was naïve enough to think it wasn't going away. I vowed forever. You must have only vowed until it got to hard."

"That is not fair, Haley. We are 18; most 18 year olds do not get married, and vow to be with that person until the day that they die."

"Well maybe we should have just followed the trend. But in all honesty, death was almost sooner then I would have liked it."

"You almost died tonight?"

"Does that change anything?"

"Well then we both have our near death experiences to remember the next time we fall in love."

"The next time I take a vow, I am praying to God that the person I love is truthful with me. If you never believed in us, then we should have never have gotten married in the first place."

"I told you that I do not regret it."

"You sure as hell sound like you do."

"I was a better person when I was with you."

"What are you now?"

"Not the same. You know why?"

"Because I left you and broke your heart, this story is getting old, Nathan."

"You always find the good in people, even when they do not deserve your time or your effort. I never knew that there was any good in me, Haley. I mean I was a jackass to Lucas, and that is when you agreed to help me. Most people would have looked away."

"I am not like most people."

"And I know that. I am not going to find another person like you, another person to open to my eyes to what I have."

"What did you have, Nathan?"

"I had the love of my life."

"What happened to her?"

"I lost her. I lost her forever."

"Forever may not be as long as you thought it could be."

"I know how long this forever is."

"Then this is goodbye?"

"There is no way that we could find something left from the pieces?"

"I am afraid that there are just too many pieces."

"Well then this is goodbye. I am never going to forget this moment, not for the rest of my life."

"What is so special about this moment?"

"True love can die. I was the naïve one thinking it could last forever."

"We are just kids, Nathan, there is a lot more living to do."

"Well I hope that you find that happiness that you are looking for."

"Oh, I had it at one moment, Nathan; it was just taken away from me."

"I have never loved anyone more then I love you."

"You will find someone."

"Why is this easier on you then it is on me?"

"Who said that this was easy, Nathan? For once in my life, I am trying to be strong on the outside, because I am falling apart inside. You have been the cause of enough of my tears, this time they are going to be mine. You showed me what love was. I am not just going to forget you. Before you came along, I thought it was going to be me and Lucas forever. No one had ever showed interest in me before. I never thought that we would fall in love."

"But we did."

"And people fall out of love."

"Are you saying that you don't love me anymore?"

"Do you even know how hard it is to love someone that doesn't love you back? You try that and you get back to me."

"One last thing before I go: even if our forever only lasted a year, it is a year that I am not giving up for the world. This year changed the person that I was, and I experienced things that I have never experienced before, compassion and love. As much as I wish our forever lasted longer then a year, I am going to live in search of it again, you showed me that I could love someone other then just have a passion. I would not be the person that I am without you. Thank you for forever."

"I just wish it lasted longer."

Nathan walked over to Haley and gave her a kiss on her forehead, "I love you."

"Nathan, please, please do not say that to me right now, please just walk away, it will be easier for both of us."

"Goodbye, Haley."

"Goodbye, Nathan." And with that goodbye, true love really did die. Was there any hope left for the rest of them?

"Did you leave Haley alone?" Karen asked her son.

"Nathan showed up."

"What? Nathan showed up? Don't you think that it is a little late?"

"She gives everyone a chance."

"And what we have learned from it is that everyone deserves one."

"Even me?" Lucas asked.

"Even you, Lucas."

"I am sorry that I gave up on you."

"Lucas, you never gave up on me, I just gave up on myself a long time ago, you tried to break in, and I wouldn't let you."

"I said that you were hopeless."

"I was Lucas; you were just speaking the truth."

"It doesn't have to be the truth."

"It is not going to be the truth anymore."

"Are you going to give me another chance?"

"Only time will tell, Lucas. First off I have to figure out who I am, when I figure that out, then I will see who I can give me heart away to this time. Because I need someone to protect it this time."

"I am not going away this time."

"We will see about that."

"Okay it is time for bed, the only thing that is going to end this day is for all of our eyes to close and it is going to be over."

"I want to be with Haley."

"You will see her tomorrow."

"I want to see her now."

"Brooke, you are still weak."

"I will bring her," Lucas told his mom.

"Okay, I cannot believe that we are doing this but Peyton is already out, I will stay in here with her. You go take Brooke to Haley, and you two stay with her. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. Tomorrow is another day."

Lucas lifted Brooke up, and she held on. They arrived back in Haley's room, and they found her in tears.

"Haley, what happened?" Brooke asked.

"What did he do, I am going to kill him," Lucas asked putting Brooke down.

"Lucas, stop it. "

"So where do you two stand?"

"It is over, Brooke. We had to let each other go."

"I thought that you were not going to let him be the cause of your tears anymore."

"This is different."

"You are crying because it is actually over."

"I am not crying because it is over, I am crying because it happened. And no matter the final outcome, I got to experience love for the first time. It had to be over; I could not let this take over my life anymore. But it still hurts the same for it to be over with. The last thing he said was that he loved me."

"And that is all that you wanted."

"But I wanted him to love me when I needed him to love me the most."

"Your love was real."

"I know. But it is gone now."

"You are more then just Nathan's wife."

"As much as I know that, I don't remember how to live any other way, I do not know how to live with out him."

"It is going to be okay, Hales," Lucas told her giving her a reassuring tap on her leg. "You have got us now."

"I could not ask for anything more."

'Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis, and Haley James, each one was previously a girl lost, today they found who they were, today they graduated. There was a lot of living left to do, but for now they were not lost. They finally have found their way, and people to take the journey with, and they were not going to go astray again, at least not anytime soon. Maybe love is not the only thing that you need to make it, well not necessarily the love of a girlfriend or boyfriend or even a spouse. Maybe you just need the reassuring fact that your friends are always going to be there for you. No matter what, there are not a defining number of heart breaks that can turn a friend away. The more friends, the more to take the pain away. If you cannot make it alone, it is okay, it does not mean that you are weak, it means that you are human. And there are people out there that will take that journey with you, until you can make it on your own.

Everyone is trying to be the hero out there, try something new next time while you are waiting in line, walk away and instead of being the hero, just be the friend that they need during this time. People need saving, it is a fact of life. No one, no matter who that person is or who they are not, can manage the weight of the world on their shoulders all alone. There will be heroes, there will always be heroes, but it is harder to come across a really good friend. A good long lasting friend. Heroes come in and save the day, but only for that day, friends save you every time that you fall. So maybe friends are heroes, but they will never be ones to admit it.

Each girl needed a little saving, they lost the path that they were supposed to be on. But with the help of a friend along the way, they found their way back. And all that they needed now was time; time to not only fix the paths, but to fix their hearts. They needed to get used to having them back as well, for they had all given them away. Some were broken, some were torn, but at one point they were all loved. And love is a good feeling, just to know that someone loves you, you can die happy. Death is imminent, love is not, so you go out and you find it, because it is not always going to come to you.

That is what we learn along the way. Three things: you cannot make it alone, true love is real, but it can die, and you are going to be okay. Grab on to what life gives you; surround yourself with people that love you. You cannot make someone love you, but you can love them anyways. It is just hard. But as we live life we realize that it would not be life if it was easy, easy would just not be any fun. So give away the easy lives, I want one with pain and agony, and defeat, I want one where I make mistakes, get my heart broken, and do it all over again. I want to feel alive. Don't we all? Isn't that all we want? To be alive. That is all I want and strive for. What about you? What are you going to do? Be the hero, the friend, or the victim? Either way that you choose, feel alive doing it, it is the only way to live life.'

"Brooke Davis, an author? I cannot believe it, I always thought that I would be the one writing a book," Haley told her friend three years to the date of that day. That is how they all remember it, there is not one day that goes by that all of them don't think about the day, that day, it was that day that the world changed, and it changed for all of them. They were all living their lives now.

"Well you got to be the rock star, so I thought that I would try this out there ambition, who would have ever thought that my book would be a best seller?"

"There are a lot of people out there that just need a little push, and your book shows people that they are not alone, that there are others feeling the same pain that they feel when the wake up each morning. The person inside of them can be found," Peyton told them.

"Girl Found, I think that it is a fitting title, Brooke."

"It is who I am, it is who all of us are. There is no other title that I can find more fitting then this."

"There is no other title to describe the last four years of my life. I found me."

"I think we all found ourselves along the way."

"And that is the only way to live," it was the only way to feel alive. Alive.

That is it. I left it in the hands of the readers. I didn't want to leave the clearest of endings, I wanted my faithful reviewers and readers to create their own endings for the 'lost girls'. I mean in the end, they are okay, but I never said what happened with Peyton, was she pregnant or not? Did Brooke and Lucas get back together? What about Nathan and Haley? Did they find happiness? I didn't want to answer all the questions. Maybe there is a sequel in the future, I have just yet to write it. Thank you for all the reviews, this was my first attempt. I hope that it wasn't too bad. I am heading back to school now, so my writing will be limited, but I want to try again. Thanks for all the reviews and support. Peace out. Cait.


End file.

One Tree Hill, Drama