Kingdom Hearts 1. Poor Violated Moogles

CHAPTER ONE: Ansem Meets the Moogles ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rikku: Ah Ansem. You just had to touch the pom pom. OH WELL NOW WE ALL GET TO SEE (read) YOU SUFFER!! HAHAHAHAH! Ok, anyways. 

Censor Moogle: Hey, that's offending to me…

Rikku: Suck it up because I don't care. Have a cookie. 

C. Moogle: COOKIE!! 

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts but I do own the Mega Super Ulitma Cool Awesome Blade Sword Thing-a-ma-jig. 

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(In Traverse Town) 

Ansem (walking to the Accessory Shop):la la la l- OOH MOOGLE! 

Random Moogle 1: Um, hi?… 

Random Moogle 2: Uh oh… 

Ansem: Hey why do you have a floating thingy on your head? 

*Before M1 or M2 could answer, Ansem starts flicking pom- poms wildly with girlish laughter because that's what he does*

M1: Stop that! 

M2: Quit, now! 

Ansem: *keeps playing with pom poms* *checks watch* "I'm late! Gotta go!" *leaves for shop* 

M1: That was random…

M2: And annoying… *feels violated* 

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OoOoOoh! Bad Ansem! Okai, not funny-_-. Well it's a school night, almost 10, my stomach hurts, and I forgot my ending that I had in mind… oh well. 

In the next chapter: What do the poor violated moogles have in mind? Wait and see, wait and see.. 

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C. Moogle: Ok, you're not funny. 

Rikku: I know ;_; 

C. Moogle: Next chappie will be funny (we hope) so review and give encouragement! 

*Rikku: is hiding in corner and crying because of sucky first story* 

C. Moogle: GET OVER IT! 


	2. Moogle Revenge! Mwhahahah!

Chapter 2: Ansem, You Idiot.

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Rikku: Yay! I got *2* reviews! 

Censor Moogle: But one of them was bad, why are you so happy??

Rikku: Shut up! *slaps C. Moogle*

C. Moogle: Hey now, that was uncalled for.

Rikku: So?

C. Moogle: Just say the disclaimer.

Rikku: Okai! I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Cid from FF, or any other stuff like that. I do own the Mega Super Ulitma Cool Awesome Blade Sword Thing-a-ma-jig and Riku too! *glomps Riku*

Riku: Ow… 

Rikku: ^_^

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From where we last left off…

*Ansem walks out of Accessory Shop*

Ansem: Oh I just love my new Mega Super Ulitma Cool Awesome Blade Sword Thing-a-ma-jig! I think I'm gonna go an- MOOGLE!

Moogle 1: It's him again, kupo. 

Moogle 2: Oh joy, kupo. Are you ready, kupo?

M1: Of course! (kupo)

Ansem: Pom- po- uh, what are you two doing?

*Moogle 1 and 2 pull out REALLY REALLY BIG hammers*

Ansem: Uh, heh heh heh, what are you doing? I think I'll go now…

M2: I don't think so, kupo. 

*C. Moogle pulls screen over viewers eyes but sounds of slamming, crashing, crunching and Ansem yelling can be heard*

M1 and 2: *walking away happily*

~30 minutes later…~

Ansem: *not unconscious anymore* Ow,… what happened?

Cid: I heard yelling so I came out here. 2 moogles were beating you over the head with REALLY REALLY BIG hammers and I made them go away.

Ansem: Oh, thank yo- WOAH WHO ARE YOU?!

Cid: Shut up will ya? You'll attract the poli-

Random police officer: Excuse me sir, you are a crime witness and may be in danger. We must relocate you to a safe area. Follow me. 

Cid: *sigh* I hate my life. 

Ansem: ^_^ Bye Cid! Have fun at your new house!

*Cid is led away, mumbling something about having to move 46 times…*

Ansem: I wonder what that was all about? *walks up stairs* *falls down stairs* Ow…

Random Moogle: Excuse me sir, but where is the post office, kupo? 

Ansem: MOOGLE! AHH THEY'RE AFTER ME!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!! *runs away*

Moogle: Oh well, kupo. *walks away*

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I forgot to put the *kupos* in the last chapter but this time I remembered! Yay ^_^! Okai, well I hope you review! I'm tired and I don't feel like typing anything else so adieu! 

~Rikku~ (me ^_^)


	3. Run upstairs Fall downstairs

Chapter 3: Meet Lulu!… and a lot of other FF characters!

~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~

Rikku: WHEEEE! 

Censor Moogle: O.o… 

Rikku: I've been drinking VANILLA COKE and I am HYPER and I hope you LIKE MY CHAPTER!! WhEeEeEeEe!!

C. Moogle: Okai. I am scared. No doubts there.

Rikku: I put Riku in just for Chibi! (and all other Riku fans of course)

Chibi: yay ^______^

Riku: Yay! I'm in the story!

Rikku & Chibi: RIKU!! *glomp Riku*

Riku: Ow…

Rikku: Okai, on with the story *goes back to glomping Riku*

(I don't own anything)

~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~

                            ^^^^~~ New Dividers~~ ^^^^ 

(Continuing from before) 

Ansem: AHHH! AHHH! AH- *runs into REALLY REALLY BIG gummi ship that is shaped like a hammer (Ansem: O.o)* ow. *faints*

Lulu (it's Lulu from FFX XD!): What the h*** do you think you're doing?

Ansem: X.X

Lulu: *uses Thundraga*

Ansem; *girly scream* Eek! I'm okai… who are you?

Lulu: I am Lulu and I am a black mage. I use magic. *pulls out moogle* This is my attack moogle.

Ansem: O.O *backs away* …

Lulu: What in the f*** is your problem?

Ansem: I'm… scared… of moogles… Oh and stop saying bad words. 

Lulu: ?_? Ok. No more bad words and no more moogles. *turns around* La la la *jumps around really fast* HEY IT'S A MOOGLE!

Ansem: *shrilly girl scream* EEEEIII! *faints… again*

Lulu: Haha! Okai you can get up now. I never caught your name. Ok. Get up. Waiting… GET UP! *uses Wateraga (is that a real spell? O.o)*

Ansem: WOAH! Hey now, why did you do that? 

Lulu: You fainted… again. Now tell me: What is your name?

Ansem: I am Ansem, lord of all things that are dark! Mwahahhahah *cough* ow.

Lulu: *snicker*

Ansem: I remember you! You are… wait I know it… Lulu! Yay! I want a cookie!

Lulu. No cookie for you. 

Ansem: COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE! *yells*

Random Girl: Have a cookie Ansem! *hands Ansem cookie*

Ansem: Yay!! ^^

Lulu: O.o… Anyway. The thing you have run into is my gummi ship, Aerokai.

Ansem: Hi nice to meet you Airokee! *shakes hands with gummi ship's wings*

Lulu: It's a ship not a person. And it's Aerokai. Arrow- Kie.

Ansem: Did you say pie! Yum! 

Lulu: No I didn't.

Ansem: Aw, darn ;_;

Lulu: Okai let's meet the crew. 

Ansem: Bye Airokee!

Lulu: *sigh*

*crew appears*

Riku: Okai, are we all set and ready to go?

Yuffie: Yeah, let's go! 

Sephiroth: Where are my pants?

Y/R/L/A: O.o

Lulu: Wrong story! I think they are in the story called "Who's pants now?" (A/N: Read it it's an awesome and hilarious fic! It isn't by me though.)

Sephiroth: *embarrassedly:* Oh okai. Bye now! *runs away*

Riku: Ookkkkkk…

Ansem: Anyway… who are you people?

*everyone introduces themselves. Riku being solemn, Aeris being preppy, Leon being mono toned, and Yuffie being her 'flashy (XD)' self*

Ansem: I am Ansem, lord of everything dark!

Y/L/L/A/R: *snicker*

Ansem: *seriously considers changed that line to lord of darkness…*

Cloud: *sticks head out of ship* I'm Cloud. Hurry up people!

Ansem: Where are we headed?

Aeris: No idea!

Ansem: Yay! Sounds fun!

Yuffie: Yah!

Cloud & Leon: -_-

Riku: I get to drive!

Everyone: *anime fall*

Yuffie: We are in for a very long ride.

Riku: *gives Yuffie death glare*

Yuffie: *whimper*

Riku: ^^

~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~

Rikku: Aw Riku- chan you did great! *huggles Riku*

Riku: *gives in to huggles (A/N: ^^;;;)* Thank you!

Rikku: Ok stay tuned for more insanity! Heh wait till ya find out what the gummi ship REALLY is )…

C. Moogle: Hey I didn't get a part here! 

Rikku: Oh here have a cookie. *hands C. Moogle a cookie*

C. Moogle: ^^ 

Riku: I want a cookie!

Rikku: Oh, I'll give you a cookie…^^

Riku: ^^()

Rikku: Keep the reviews coming! PLEASE!! Lol, I will write more soon! Bais!


	4. Wal mart? What the? TEEDUS? AIYYEE too m...

Me (Rikku): Hey people! Okai I'm back and I have a new chapter!

Riku: Go figure. 

Me: Bad Riku! (glomps Riku) but I still luv ya!

Riku: Joy…

Censor Moogle: Can I have another cookie?

Me: I ran out, Ayani ate them all. 

Ayani: ^_^

C. Moogle: Ayani owns Kingdom Hearts! Mwhahaha!

*Lawyers come and arrest Ayani for plagiarism (or whatever it is)*

Ayani: ;_;

(We don't own any FF characters and we don't own KH characters and we don't own Wal Mart)

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Cloud: Everyone set?

Lulu, Riku, Ansem, Aeris, Leon, Yuffie: Yeah!

Cloud: Okies let's GO!!

*Aerokai starts to shake and… stuff…*

Riku: OH NO! CLOUD LOOK!

*A girl walks up and is seen through the clear screen*

Girl: I thought I told you weirdos last week to stop coming here! The space ride is for LITTLE KIDS!

Ansem: *Looks around and notices something he didn't realize before* Hey guys, why are we at Wal-mart?

Girl: I am Rai and your genius friends have been coming here for the last month calling our little kid ride a gummi ship. Now sorry be so rude but ALL OF YOU GET AWAY NOOOOOW!

Everyone: O.o

Random Moogle (Ansem: *faint*): O.o

Lulu: O.o *wakes Ansem up*

Rai: …^_^()

Riku: Hey, I have an idea! Let's go n some stupid journey and try to find the door to Kingdom Hearts!

Ansem: But I don't wanna. *pout*

Riku: *death glare*

Ansem: ^^ When do we leave?

L/L/Y/R/A: *anime fall*

Cloud: *sigh* Oh what immaturity has befallen my friends?

Fangirl Mob: AIYEE! IT'S CLOUD!

Cloud: Ok not cool! EEP!

*Fangirls chase Cloud all around Wal-mart parking lot until random customers complain to customer service and the fangirls are sent away*

Tidus: Let's go! 

Aeris: Who are you?

Tidus: I'm Teedus! 

Leon: Ok, bye Rai, we don't need you anymore.

Rai: *walks off*

Lulu: Ok, so how are we supposed to get out of here? We have no transportation!

Tidus: I can fly! Weee! *runs around with arms outstretched*

Cloud: O.o Riiight. 

Ansem: I have an idea! *screaming* OI, CID! C'MERE!

Cid: Wha wha wha?

Ansem: Give me the Highwind.

Cid: Ok. *hands Ansem the Highwind*

Ansem: Uh o- *falls under huge gummi ship* Ow…

Tidus: *moves ship* Ok who's driving?

Riku: ME!

Cloud: ME!

*Riku and Cloud stare at each other a electricity forms between them*

Yuffie: I'll drive. *calmly sits in driver's chair*

R & C: O.o

Aeris: Let's move it people!

*everyone loads up into gummi ship*

Leon: Ok. Next stop is-

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Me: BUM BUM BUUUUMMM!

Tidus: Whats up with the cliffhanger?

Sora: What's up with me not being in the story?

Me: 1. I don't know where to go yet. 2. Sora, no one has asked for your appearance so nyeh.

Tidus: Ha ha!

Sephiroth: *wacks Tidus in head with side of Masamune*

Tidus: X.x

Sora: Heh

Riku: Let's go to the Coliseum! 

Tidus: Let's go to th-

Yuffie: I thought you were dead…

Tidus: Oh yeah *is dead*

Aeris: Let's go to Monstro. Maybe he ate the door…

Riku: Coliseum!

Aeris: Monstro!

Riku: COLISEUM!

Aeris: MONSTRO!

Riku: COLI-

Me: I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO! So lets let the readers decide. Ok readers and reviewers, I need your vote! I will wait until Feb 10th then I'll see where the crew is going. It's between the coliseum and monstro. You decide!

Riku: Hah, my faithful fangirls will suuport me! Mweheheh!

Me: BAD RIKU! *glomps Riku… again*

Riku: I'm getting used to this…

C. Moogle: And that's all folks!

*copyright notice comes up and eats C. Moogle* 

*copyright notice spits C. Moogle out*

C. N.: ew… *leaves*

C. Moogle: ;_; 


	5. Bye, Aerith

Arashi: I'm back! Sadly, I had to make the decision of where the party is going by myself. FF.net banned my story so I had to fix it and all my reviews were gone. So they are going to the Coliseum.

Censor Moogle: We don't own anything mentioned in the fic. 

Arahi. Nope.

æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ

Ch 5: OFF TO THE COLISEUM! 

æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ

Ansem: So, what are we going to do when we get there?

Leon: I think we should feed Aerith to Cerberus.

Cloud & Aerith: WHY????????!!!!!!!!

Leon: I don't know, seems good to me.

Yuffie: Yeah, I like it.

Riku: Works for me.

Lulu: -sigh-

Cloud: Oh well. Sorry Aerith, majority rules. 

Aerith: I hate you all -_-

Leon: Now, now, look on the bright side! Um… well… never mind, there is no bright side.

Riku: Hey I thought of something, why would the door to Kingdom Hearts be at the Coliseum?

Ansem: I know where the door is, hehe!

Yuffie: Then why don't we go straight to it?

Ansem: Because I forgot where it is. I forgot like just now.

Arashi: Wonder how he forgot?…

Riku: We're here!

Aerith: Oh joy.

-Everyone gets out and walk in. Aerith is thrown to the three headed dog upon entering.-

Phil: Ok, you can go straight to the Platinum Match since Hercules is suffering because some one called him a girly boy.

Riku: Which three of us will enter?

Cloud: How about you, Leon, and me. Yuffie, you got to drive.

Yuffie: Oh alright -sulks-

-the group walks out into the open arena and Sephiroth appears-

Riku: DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sephiroth: What in the hell? I ain't your dad!

Riku: Oh… ok… DIE!

-Cloud, Riku, and Leon kill Sephiroth-

Cloud: Oops… -looks in arena doorway to see a very pissed Lulu-

Lulu: YALL HAVE BEEN FORGETTING ALL ABOUT TIDUS AND ME! WHAT IS FFX NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU??  
Tidus: Um, yeah…

Riku: ^________^;;; Oops… our bad…

Tidus: Just don't do it again.

Cloud: Oh trust me it won't happen again.

Lulu: Well, we're done already here.

Leon: Wow… this was short. 

Ansem: Yeah. Well, let's go to Wonderland next. I heard they have awesome weed ^_^

Everyone: YEAY!

æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ æ

Arashi: Wow, that was MCH shorter than expected… Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Sephiroth found his pants ^_^

C. Moogle: Kupo.


End file.

Kingdom Hearts, Humor, Parody