Castle 1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Came up with this story a while back, but have yet to start writing it. So I started and thought I'd post it and see how you guys like it. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

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She was counting the cracks of the side walk as she made her way slowly to her desk job. She hated it. This place was too cold, often times, too dark, it wasn't like home. Before, she walked with her head held high, confidence dripping off of her with every step she took, never backing down from any one. But now, she was quiet, reserved, never speaking to anyone unless they approached her, even then, she would usually give short answers, and shy away. The only people who knew her name were the Barista, the receptionist, and her boss. Most other people called her 'Hey you', or the ever popular one, 'Hey baby', when ever she decided to go out for a drink, which nowadays, was not very often.

Hearing the bell tower ring loudly, indicating that it was not eight o'clock, she didn't bother increasing her pace, even though she was suppose to be at work right now. A cold chill decided to whip through the air, aimed right at her, attempting to stop her slow pursuit. She lifted the collar of her green army jacket and braced herself against the cold, her short, blonde hair offering no warmth at all. She was just across the bridge when the tower stopped chiming, and she sighed a heavy sigh, and let her shoulders deflate as she reached for the door of the cafe she stopped at every morning.

"Hey there, Kara." Called out the Barista from across the counter, with an excited wave, and a bright smile.

"Hey Kristy." Kara said shyly, and began to shake off the flurries of snow that were beginning to fall outside.

"Usual for ya?"

"Same as always." Kristy was nice. She was always in a good mood, always bickering with her older brother, a rebellious anarchist philosopher who always had a quote from some one, usually something pertaining to the oppression of government, or something.

"Alrighty, it will just be a minute, then." Kristy began to jump from station to station, as she prepared her order. "One sugar free latte, with two pumps vanilla, and a bear claw." Kara grabbed up her order, and placed the money on counter.

"Could you add a suspended to that too?"

"Feeling generous today?"

"With a golden heart, comes a rebel fist, Tomas Khalnoky." Timothy called out from the corner.

"Oh shut it, Tim!" Kara let out a small chuckle, before making her leave.

It was taken a while, and hours of practicing, and reciting, to train herself to respond to the name Kara, Kara Sanders. Her new identity, and as far as the rest of the world is concerned, her only. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, Kate Beckett had left this world a year ago next week. She stopped just outside the cafe, and looked down the street to see pedestrians start to filter out into the streets, collars up turned against the cold wind. She let out another sigh, took a sip of her coffee, and started down the street again. Mr. Anderson was going to have her head on a plate for being late twice in the same week, but she didn't care. She just didn't care any more.

Every now and again, she would catch a train across town to a small, but popular jazz bar, to hear the local talent. But every time she did, and even some times on the streets, she would catch herself scanning the faces on the train, or on the way to work, or while at the store, with just a small glimmer of hope to see him. But she never did, and she knew she never would again. She still read the news article every night before she went to bed. '_Best selling author dies in car pile up. World mourns lose of Richard Castle.' _

She knew it wasn't true, none of it was true, but slowly, it had become truth. Richard Castle was dead. He had died the same time she did. She didn't even get to say good bye. It was probably for the best. Maybe not getting a chance to say good bye, meant that it wasn't good bye, may be it was an 'Until Tomorrow'. But she was never a hopeful optimist.

The wind picked up again, and she braced herself against it by taking another sip of her quickly cooling coffee, slowing her steps so the liquid would pass down her throat smoothly. She continued down the street, that was quickly becoming infested with passers by, and she was quickly getting annoyed. At least there was some part of home here. When a man running down the side walk hit her shoulder, it sent her coffee flying toward the ground, but the man continued to run down the side walk, his bright neon green work out shirt quickly disappearing behind the trench coats and brief cases. "Nice going!" She yelled out as she shook off her fingers, and her shoe to get the coffee off. Another good morning here in the UK, felt more like New York every day.

She let her head fall as she continued down the street, she looked at her small, mostly decoration watch and saw that she was now fifteen minutes late. She let out yet another sigh of defeat, and continued down the crowded street. This bear claw was going to leave a bad taste in her mouth with out her coffee to wash it down with. She might as well throw it away now. She still had about three blocks to go till she got to the office, but she was still in no rush. She was already late, and was going to get yelled at anyway, what was the point now. "Good morning, Kara."

"Oh, morning, Ms Henderson." Kara said to the old woman just walking down her stoop.

"You look a little down today, what cloud is looming over you today?"

"Same one." She said flatly, and continued down the street again, a little more sulk in her step then before. Great, usual Ms. Henderson reminding her just how depressed she was.

Rounding another corner, she caught site of her office entrance, not like she was at all happy to finally be at work. She dodged a few more pedestrians before quickly crossing the street. Once safely across, she slowed down her pace a little and let her gaze fall down to the ground again. Where had her life gone to? Just last year, her boyfriend and her had been arguing about who really snored, and who didn't. Just last year, they were making love like they were never going to see each other again, like they always did. But neither of them knew that they would actually never see each other again. Now, she had very, very few friends, and the ones she had, they considered her some what of an outsider, the guys she did meet were always never enough. She always found herself saying his eyes aren't as bright as his, or his hair isn't as soft as his, or simply, he just isn't _him._

With her gaze still locked upon the cracks between the side walk slabs of concrete, she didn't even register the hard bump she received with a passer by. She simply said her usual apology, and continued on her way, like always. "Sorry."

"Kate?" She stopped absolutely dead in her tracks. It wasn't the name that had stopped her, or the inflection, which was hopefully uplifting. It was the timber of the voice, the dark and subtle vibrato that the voice had when it uttered the name. She had heard this voice in her dreams, both night and day, but it had been so long that she almost couldn't match it with a face... almost. Her pulse raced inside her throat, a cold sweat broke out over her, and she was beginning to tremble, the only way she could tell was by the feeling of the small paper bag fall from her hand. She knew this voice more than she knew her own. There was only one person that this soft voice belonged to. She turned around slowly, and in that instance... everything... _everything..._

"Castle?"

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**A/N: More details will be revealed if this gets a good enough response. I just had this idea, and decided to roll with it. So it would please me very much to know what you think of it. Thank you for reading though :) **

**~Major. **


	2. Chapter 2

He woke up late, again. Not a day went by that he didn't miss his king size bed, with sheets and linens woven from what felt like the hair of angels, or at least that's what it felt like now. He didn't like his bed at all. It was a measly double size mattress, with cheap cotton sheets, that often got tangled around him during the night. He kicked the sheets away, and swung his legs out of their grasp.

It wasn't often that he had this dream, and he thought himself lucky because of it, but unlucky at the same time. It had been a long time since he had seen her, and his conscious mind couldn't bring up images of her on command, so the only way he could was in his dreams, where his mind brought with it the soft feel of her touch, the sweet caress of her lips against his, and last night, his dreams brought with them the images, along with the physical, and emotional sensation of their first night together. He mourned the nights when they would fall off of that edge together.

He scrubbed his scruff and ran a hand through his unkempt hair and got up, under heavy scrutiny coming from his better judgement. His flannel sweat pants caught on the door jam to the bath room again, and put another hole in them, it was his third pair ever since they were moved. He threw on the first shirt he came across in his dresser, and made his way out into the kitchenette, that was also the living room, and absentmindedly went about pouring himself some coffee.

"You had another dream again, didn't you?"

"What?" He looked over to his daughter, her nose still buried in a book. "Oh, yeah. How could you tell?"

"You had that far away look in your eyes. You only look that way when you think about... her." Mary looked up from her book finally, to take in the full sight of her father. "You still miss her?" She knew that question was completely pointless, but she found after a while that when he talked about it a little, he felt better.

"Every day." He came to sit across from her and placed his chin in the support of his hand, held up by his elbow on the table. "But... I think it's time to accept that... she's gone."

"You said that last time."

He smiled over at her, and looked back down at his distorted reflection in his coffee mug. "I know."

"You'd better get ready. You're going to be late." He looked over at the clock on the microwave and quickly stood up.

"Yeah, you're right." He made his way into his bedroom, and hopped in the shower, making it rather quick. He had to leave enough hot water for his daughter. He put on a pair of blue jeans, his thick black fleece, and threw a scarf around his neck, before running some gel in his hair to spike it up. He looked himself over in the mirror, and nodded. It was good enough. He grabbed his shoulder bag, and made his way toward the door.

"Dad." She called out just before his hand his the door knob. He looked over at her, and she pointed over to the table beside the couch that held his glasses.

"Oh, right. Thanks sweetie." He went over and put them on, and made his way over to her, and kissed the side of her head. "I don't exactly know when I'll be back, it's always hard to tell how long these meetings are going to be."

"I'll be here, I'm off today anyway."

"Alright, I'll see you later." He made his way over to the door again.

"Love you, Dad." She called as he opened the door. He looked back at her and smiled.

"Love you too, pumpkin." He slowly clicked the door shut and took out his keys to lock both the knob and the dead bolt. He made his way over to the elevator, and pulled the cage up and pulled it back down once he was inside. On the street, he saw that it had started to flurry, and the wind was starting to pick up. He zipped up his fleece higher, and swung the scarf around himself one more time before making his way down the street.

He walked slowly. He knew he shouldn't be thinking, it always ended badly nowadays, but after last night, he didn't have a choice. Yes, he missed her. He missed her every hour that went by that she wasn't right next to him, like she used to be. He was glad he still had his daughter. He knew he was being a little selfish to think that if it wasn't for her, then he didn't know if he could have lasted. After all, she had to give up her life too. But they were always there for each other, and they had grown much closer in the past year. It was almost like they were a weird form of life long friends, that just happened to be father and daughter. But in the end, when it came down to it, she was still his little girl.

He always hated meeting with his marshal, especially times like now, when his mind was on something that it shouldn't be. They were just relocated two weeks ago, and they were still getting their bearings on things. Alexis was put in a job at a local sandwich shop just down the street, and his job was a little more complicated to explain, at least that's what he told people, if they ever asked.

Always on the move, it's hard to tell where I'll be next, my job has me traveling a lot, common expressions he used when questioned. He called himself a traveling salesmen, if such a thing still existed. His job was to go to small business's and try and sell them menial garbage, but he made enough to get the two of them by, barely. He always wanted to punch something when ever he heard the saying 'You don't know what you have until it's gone'. Because lately, it felt like he had lost everything, even his daughter. She was there, but not there. He missed the little girl that didn't have a care in the world, he missed the young woman who had a world of chances at her feet. He just missed Alexis.

A year ago next week, too long, but too soon. He looked at his watch for a second, and saw that he had time, so he stopped and sat down at a bench that he had just passed by, pulled out his wallet, and reached into one of the pockets, and pulled it out.

The small, simple diamond ring. He wasn't suppose to take anything with him, but this was too important to him to let go of. He thought about throwing it away, he had even come close to actually doing it on several occasions, but only when he was already well past the legal limit, no matter what country he was in. He had it all planned out, down to the last detail. But now, it was just a well played out fantasy in his mind, only playing out in his dreams. He was going to propose at Remy's, something simple, intimate, but big, just like she would have wanted. But then everything went to hell in a hand basket. He didn't even get to say good bye.

May be it was better that way, but at heart, he was a writer. His new identity didn't stop him from writing out scenes in his head on how it would go. Neither one of them willing to utter the words 'good bye', tears spilling freely down their cheeks, to co-mingle with each other as they would kiss for the last time before they were ripped apart, both literally, and figuratively.

True, he had tried to forget about her. He had tried to go back to his one night stand lifestyle, meaningless romps in hotels, quick rounds with strangers in the bathrooms of bars. But he never got past the unbuckling of his belt. No matter who it was, no matter what she looked like, no matter what she was like, it wasn't her. No matter whose hands it was, they always felt alien against his skin. No matter whose lips it was forcing themselves against his, they always felt cold against his own. No matter whose fingers ran themselves through his hair, they always felt too foreign. No matter whose eye lashes were batted toward him, it wasn't the strong, almost mystical gaze that he had come to take for granted.

Mary some times said that he spoke in his sleep, and when ever he did, he was told he only spoke one word, 'Kate'. Some times it was sad, longing, desperate, others it was bright, happy, sometimes sultry.

He looked back down at his watch and saw that now, he really was late. He gently replaced the ring into its special pocket, and threw himself up against the wind, and made his way down the street, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his fleece, and bracing himself against the sleet laced wind. He didn't even notice the sudden flash flood of pedestrians onto the streets, but he was from New York, born and raised, he could handle himself in this. He made his way around people, his gaze locked onto the pairs of shoes that were dodging around his own. At least the sound of the people was loud enough to drown out the sound of his mind. He was about four blocks away from the location where he was to meet his marshal, when he felt a hard bump against his shoulder. He must not be having his best day.

"Sorry."

In that instance, everything came back to him. The face, the body, the warmth, the love, the longing, the desire, everything came back in a rush. And it made him utter the one word that he had been in his sleep for the past year. "Kate?" He whipped himself around, and saw a small figure, shakily clutching onto a small paper bag, just before she let it fall to the ground. That couldn't be Kate, Kate's hair was much, much longer, and darker. Kate Beckett didn't wear old army jackets, Kate Beckett didn't wear heels that were under three inches, Kate Beckett was suppose to be gone. "Castle?" Came a small voice, it almost resembled a squeak. The figure slowly turned around, with wide eyes before they met his.

It was her, it was the real thing.

"Is that really you?" He asked with an uplifting inflection that hinted on the fact that he was about to break out in tears.

"Castle?" She started to approach slowly, making her way over to him. It wasn't until they were about a foot apart that he realized that he too was moving.

"Is it really you?" He asked again, asking what ever powers at be if this was some sick, twisted game that they were playing with him. He looked deep, deep into her eyes, that hazel tint, with just a bit of overwhelming green. He tried to move his hand up to trace her face, to see if she was real, but since his stomach was now anchored in his feet, and his heart stretched up into his throat, creating a rather large lump, his blood seemed to be directed up to his brain to keep him standing. He remembered the electricity that would spark between them, the fire that would ignite when these two powerful forces finally met, he remembered how the fire would continue to burn even in the dead of sleep, and would stay smoldering embers until they next made contact, and right now, it felt as if he were just set ablaze.

"Rick?" She asked once more, her voice going breathless, and saturated with tears that were slightly pooling in the corners of her eyes. If he had any doubts before that moment, they were extinguished with the saying of that name. That certain inflection that only she could say it with, like she could never get enough, but was still not willing to let it go, the way she would say it when she was asking the one person she could ask anything of for help, this was her. This was the woman he had been mourning the loss of.

This was Kate Beckett.

He let a smile blossom across his face, unable to contain it one iota longer, and in that moment, her hand made its way up to his cheek. When it was pressed fully to his cheek, he found enough strength in himself to be able to mirror her action by lightly pushing a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, and pressing his hand fully against her warm cheek. With the contact made, her own smile grew from a disbelieving look of shock, to an unbridled, unreserved, toothy smile, the smile he fell in love with, the smile that she gave him on their first Valentine's day together. A stray tear leaked out onto his hand and he moved his thumb to wipe it away. "It is you." He could barely hear her over the loud thumping of his now healed heart.

"Yeah, it's me."

"I don't know whether to kiss you or run away." She was inching toward him until she had to crane her neck to look up at him.

"If this is another one of my dreams, then this is the part that we either share the most passionate kiss ever, or I wake up."

She was now an inch away from his lips, and the magnetic pull was almost physically painful to fight against. She moved her other hand to the other side of his face, and began to pull herself up closer. He was unable to fight the temptation to place his hands on her hips and pull her toward him, just before his eyes drifted shut. There was a moment where they both froze, and let their breaths hit off of each other, waiting for themselves to be woken up from this dream, because that was the only explanation for this, because this feeling couldn't be real. Then, just then, they met.

They lips locked against each other. This kiss stole his breath away, and as they let their lips simply sit together on a long, passionate kiss, he felt the air being quickly sucked from him, but the rest he felt being brought back to life. When their lips broke their lock for another kiss, he wrapped her small frame up in his arms. It felt just like it used to. The hands that now balled against the hairs on the back of his head felt just like they should, the lips felt soft, warm, and sweet against his. The frame that was held in his arms felt like it had just found it's home against his chest. He felt her force his lips open with hers, and felt his tongue being beaten against hers. This taste, her taste, Kate's taste, if he had felt a hunger before, he had just found nourishment. She forced her tongue against his once more before she pulled it back into her own mouth, and let her lips break off with a loud pop, and let her lips ghost against his.

His arms hugged her against him, and he felt her feet being hung and swing freely beneath her as she flung her arms fully around his neck. He let his smile break out again, and she buried her face into the crock of his neck and hugged him tightly. She felt her body convulse, her chest jerking away from his only for a split second. It wasn't until he actually heard her that he realized that she was laughing happily. She lifted her head up, and ran a hand down his scruff covered cheek before she placed her forehead against his, still hanging in his tight grasp.

"It's really you." She spoke softly.

He chuckled before he answered her. "It's really you."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed, at to all of those reading/ following. It means a lot to me! :) I'm going to try and maintain a pattern of switching POVs between Kate and Castle with each new chapter, but depending on who that chapter is focused on, it may vary. BE WARNED! This chapter may make some of you hate me a little, but I hope you will understand me when I say it's for the good of the story :) **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

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"Is it really you?" He sounded as if he was about to bawl, but she felt as if she already was. She felt like tackling him to the ground, showering him with all the affection that wasn't given in the year they were forced apart, but she couldn't move. She could barely stand, at that. Was it really him? She lugged her foot off of the ground, only enough to have it hover above the ground and move her forward. She felt all of her blood being rushed to her heart, making her limbs go weak and numb, but she still felt them trembling. Feeling the large lump in her throat, what she assumed was her heart, she pushed past it to ask him again. "Castle?" She seemed to have called him over to her, as in that moment, he started to approach her, with the light in his eyes growing brighter and brighter with each slow step he took.

"Is that really you?" He voiced. She felt herself screaming at him, screaming words of love, words of longing, of desire, of reassurance, that it really was her, it was really Kate, his Kate. But she still couldn't speak. The only focus she seemed to have at the moment were his eyes, glistening with tears, tears that she wanted to wipe away. "Rick?"

With the name she had only used during the heat of intense, sensual love making, or during times of emotional turmoil, the light in his eyes shown with full force, as a smile exploded onto his face, she knew that smile. That was he had when she told him she was 'on board' with them, that was the smile she fell in love with, and it gave her enough strength to move her hand up to press it against his cheek, like she had when ever she was about to kiss him softly. Feeling his face, knowing that he was really there, not just a hallucination, it made her feel weightless, and it wasn't until she felt the ghost of his fingers across her own cheek to brush the back of her ear that she finally was able to face the fact that... "It is you." She finally let her smile broaden.

"Yeah, it's me." He said, voice still thick with emotion.

"I don't know whether to kiss you or run away." Oh, she knew she wasn't running away, but he was suppose to be gone. That's what she had been telling herself for the past year.

"If this is another one of my dreams, then this is the part that we either share the most passionate kiss ever, or I wake up." That's the Castle she remembers. Always finding a way to make an attempt at humor in the most serious of situations, and it pulled her toward him.

She moved her other hand up to gently frame his face, and leaned up to kiss him, just like she always did. But he froze, and let his breath fan off of her. Her lips were already begging for the sweet contact of his, already chasing after his, what was he waiting for. Feeling the firm squeeze on her waist from his hands, pulling her up toward him, she couldn't bare this torture any more, if this was a dream, it needed to either turn into a nightmare already, or just end. But just then, his lips were on her, and that was it. Just his lips, nothing else in the world. There wasn't a ground beneath her feet, or a sky above her head, just him, and it's all she needed, and wanted.

The long dead parts of her sparked back to life when their lips met, she could feel her heart beat again, and right now, it was thundering. She always loved kissing him, after all, he was an incredible kisser, but this... it was... everything. When their lips broke their lock, she flung her arms around his neck, and, just as she remembers how they were always in sync, he wrapped his own around her, and lifted her off of the ground, but she was already floating, what was the point. She needed to taste him again, she forced his lips open again, and shot her tongue out in search of his. Their tongues clashed in a short battle, and their lips separated with a loud pop. She pressed her forehead against his, and tightened her grip around his neck as she felt yet another tear leak out.

She buried her face into the bend of his neck, and started to laugh. She couldn't believe it was really him. After all this time, the dark cloud was blown away to let the sun shine through once again. She could feel happy again. She could love again, but most importantly, she could love _him _again.

"It's really you." She still couldn't really believe it.

"It's really you." And neither could he.

Their lips met again, in another long, passionate kiss, with both of them pouring every emotion that had neglected with for the past year into it. She felt herself being set back down on the ground when the kiss ended, and felt his large hand run through her hair and come to rest of the back of her head, holding her there. "I missed you so much." She said.

"I can't believe it's really you. I missed you." He leaned back and she saw that his cheeks were now stained with tears. "Oh Kate." He ran his hand down her hair once more and she covered his hand with hers when it came to rest of the side of her head. She looked back up into his eyes, and when she saw that look of unbridled love, the look he saved especially for her, she quickly shot her arms around his neck again and hugged him as tightly as she could. "I love you so much, Kate."

"Rick," She leaned back in his grasp and ran a hand down his cheek and rubbed his nose with hers. "I love you too. I love you so much, Rick."

"Do you have somewhere to be?" He asked out of nowhere.

"No where important." She remembered just then that she was suppose to be at work right now, but she couldn't care less.

"How bout we go get some coffee?"

"I'd love to." His smile grew once more and he bent down to kiss her again. He set her down and he clasped her hand in his and pulled her quickly across the street to a local sandwich shop that she had stopped at only a couple of times. He opened the door for her and they stepped inside and went over and sat down in the far corner. It wasn't until now that she had taken in his full appearance. His hair was spiked up slightly, he had scruff that resembled that which he had when they had first met, and... he was wearing glasses? His eye sight was fine, what did he need glasses for. He also looked a lot younger, almost like he had had work done.

"You still drink the same thing?" He asked her.

"Oh, yeah. Some things never change." She smiled over at him. The waitress came over with her pad in hand.

"Hey there, Kara. Haven't seen you in here in a while." Kaylee said.

"Oh, well, I've been busy." Kara answered shyly.

"And who's this fine looking gentleman?" Kaylee asked, eyeing Rick over her note pad.

"Oh this is Ri... uhmm"

"Craig, Craig Johnson." He smirked and offered a hand shake.

"So nice to meet you Mr. Johnson."

"Like wise. You know, my daughter started here just last week. Mary?"

"You're Mary's father? Wow, she's such a sweet heart."

"I'm happy to see that she's making friends. It's been pretty rough for her ever since her mother passed."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, when?"

"Just a couple of years, they were very close."

"How long were you married?"

"Oh, we split up a long time ago, but she just loved her mother so much."

"Well, tell her I said hi. Now, what can I get you two?"

He placed their order, and she was surprised that, after all this time, he still remembered her coffee order. But was surprised her more, was just, him. How he handled himself, so smoothly.

"From my mother." He said, rubbing his finger against the wood of the table.

"What?"

"The acting. It's hard not to pick up a few things when you've lived with an actress for so many years."

"Yeah. So, Craig?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, Craig Johnson, born in Napa Valley, California, 1969 to Jim and Margret Johnson, graduated from University of California San Fransisco 1990 with a history degree, moved to Dublin in 1992 and married Stacey Johnson, had a child shortly after, with Stacey dieing of kidney failure in 2009." He deadpanned. He got his story straight at least. "You?"

"Kara Sanders, born in Toronto, Canada, 1976 to Alex and Tracey Sanders, moved to London after graduating college, never married." At least his back story had more detail. She always hated it when people would ask about her background, because she always had to make up most of it. And she always had to make sure she told the same story. "You look uhm, you look good."

"Thanks." He chuckled and averted his gaze in slight embarrassment.

"The glasses?"

"Oh yeah, sometimes I feel like Clark Kent when ever I wear them. After the surgery, they said that they would help hide my identity a little better. But people still mistake me more for Jason Bateman more than they do Richard Castle, so I guess they kind of work."

"They look good on you." She was trying to add some humor to the conversation, but if she was being honest, they really did look pretty hot on him. He chuckled again and returned his gaze.

"Sometimes it scares me. The thought that someone will recognize me, and break the story that the great Richard Castle is in hiding. It already happened once."

"What?" She stopped, how was he discovered and she not know about it?"

"About a month ago, Mary and I were living in Dublin, like I told you, and I was walking home one night, and spotted someone being mugged. So I stopped it and chased the guy away, but the guy I saved went to the local newspaper and broke the story. They had a reporter come by our apartment and take our picture and everything. The marshal showed up the next day and moved us here. Oh crap... the marshal." His expression changed quickly from soft and telling to shocked and frightened.

"What is it?"

He looked at his watch. "I was suppose to meet the marshal over 45 minutes ago. He's going to kill me." He was leaving again? She just got him back, and he was running off again.

"Rick, I don't want to sound pathetic but..." She lowered her voice more and stood up and moved to stand in front of him, close enough to be able to kiss him. "Please don't leave me again. I just got you back."

He bent down and captured her lips with his, and let them sit against hers for a minute, and let them go slowly. "I'm not leaving you, I promise. You may not realize it, but I just got you back too, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let _anything _tear you away from me again. I love you too much to let you go again."

She smiled a watery smile and framed his face with her hands and kissed him sweetly. She separated herself from him briefly, and bent down to the table, grabbed a napkin, and a pen from her bag, and wrote down her address. "Here, come by when you're done."

"You're sure you want me to go?"

"I don't want to get you in trouble." She leaned up to kiss him again. "Just..." She moved her hands to fold the napkin into his grasp. "Don't keep me waiting."

"I'll be back as soon as I can, and this time, I promise I will be."

"I know." He nodded and kissed her briefly again before he jogged out the door.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Kara." Kaylee said, approaching the table with their coffee.

"Oh, yeah. It's complicated." She added, still looking through the glass of the door.

"Looks like you two have quite the history."

"Yeah." She looked down at the floor and then turned around to ask for the check.

"Don't worry about it, Kara. This one's on me." She smiled and grabbed up her coffee.

"Thanks Kaylee." She walked out the door into the street. The sun was now shining, and it was a little bit warmer than it was before. She stared off in the direction she saw him jog, hoping to see him jogging back in that moment, but after a second or two, she sighed and walked down the street in the direction of her apartment.

"You look better, Ms. Sanders. Glad to finally see a smile on that pretty face of yours."

"Thanks Ms. Henderson." She waved at the older lady and continued down the street.

After all this time, she finally found him again. She had been telling herself that he was dead for so long that it had become true to her. But there he was, waiting for her just as long as she had been waiting for him. It's true, she missed her old life, her friends, her real job, her dad, but now, she had him, and it was more than enough for now.

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**A/N: As you can probably tell, the rating will most likely change with the next chapter. I appreciate all of you for reading, and most of all REVIEWING! :) Please let me know what you think. I'm still on the fence about this fic, and your reassurance and thought would be very helpful. Thank you **

**~Major. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know I said that there was going to be a part of the last chapter that was going to make you hate me, but I had to move it to this chapter. You'll know it when you see it. and PLEASE BE ADVISED OF THE RATING CHANGE! It's been upted to M. Thank you :) **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

* * *

"I'll be back as soon as I can, and this time, I promise I will be." The last time he said, he didn't see her for a year.

"I know." She sounded like she was losing him again, but he couldn't blame her. He hated that he had to leave her, but the last time he skipped a meeting with his marshal, he got his door kicked in while his daughter was in the shower. He leaned down to capture her lips with his, hoping that it would reassure her enough to tell her that this time, he would be back. And he would, no matter who he had to push over, he would get back to her this time. He couldn't lose her again, he's lost her too many times as it is.

He jogged out the door, and quickly ran across the street. He wasn't running because he was 45 minutes late for his meeting with his marshal, but because he wanted to make this as quick as possible. Just getting to the other side of the street, he looked back toward the sandwich shop, and saw her talking to the waitress, he saw the waitress slap her shoulder playfully, and then see her smile. Looking down at the napkin he was still clutching, he needed to make this as fast as he could, he couldn't stay away from her, it was killing him already, and they were only no more than 200 feet away. He started to jog quickly down the street, dodging people as he made his way around them, until he reached the newspaper stand that he was told to meet him at. He stopped to catch his breath, regain his restful composure, and straighten his scarf. He walked slowly up to the man, just checking his watch, sitting on the bench just beside the stand.

"You're almost an hour late. What happened?"

"I just got caught up in something, that's all."

"Alright, well don't let it happen again. You remember what happened the last time you bailed out on a meeting, don't you?"

"Yes, I remember, Bill. Would you quit bringing that up? I was having a bad day."

"Yeah yeah, so how are you two adjusting so far?"

"Alright. Alexis seems to be doing fine in the restaurant she was hired at."

"Really?" He asked, as if not believing him.

"As fine as she can. She's never had to have a part time job before. She was always so caught up in school, and extra credit that she never had time. And it's not like we weren't making ends meet or anything. There's something you have to get through that thick head of yours. Alexis hasn't had a very hard life. She's never had to worry about much. She's never had to face grief or loss before, and I'm all the family she has left. She's going to be fine with me, so just give her a chance."

"Would you stop worrying about me separating you two? I know how important Alexis is to you, and how important you are to her. I hate to tell you kid, but whether you like it or not, you're stuck with her."

Craig stopped and nodded. "Thank you."

"What about you, how are you doing?"

"I wish you would give me my old job back."

"You hated the last job I put you in."

"I meant my _other _old job."

"I'm sorry, kid, but that ain't gonna happen. I know you miss playing Sherlock, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"I know, I know. I'm just venting."

"What about the job you have now?"

"It's boring, menial, pointless."

"Good, now you know what things are like in the real world."

"Would you just... oh, never mind."

"Look, kid, I just want you to know, I am sorry. I know you didn't ask for any of this to happen, but the fact is it did. So try and make the best of it."

He scoffed at that, mainly because his new life had just gotten so much brighter. "Right... listen I have a meeting to get to. So could we wrap this up?"

"Alright, fine. Be at the coffee shop near the bridge in two weeks, 8AM."

"Coffee shop near the bridge, two weeks, 8AM, got it." He tapped his temple.

"Alright," Bill patted his shoulder and stood up. "Call me if you need me, you have my number."

"Right." He stood up and walked off in the direction he came. Once he rounded the corner, and was safely out of sight of his marshal, he pulled the napkin out of his pocket, and read the address. If his limited knowledge of the city was correct, her place was about a 15 minute walk from here, but he would be there in five if he had to break every foot traffic law in the book. After all, he's American, and in America, pedestrians always have the right of way. He smirked to himself at the thought, and began to jog down the street.

The rush hour had quickly subsided, and the jog down the street was made with little effort, only getting honked at once when he crossed the street. He stopped at the block the napkin said and looked around at the building numbers until he spotted hers. He smiled to himself and made his way across the street toward the small apartment complex. He walked through the doors and up the elevator. Looking back down at the napkin, she lived on the fourth floor. 4G, he told himself, walking down the rather cramped hall way. It wasn't until he had spotted her door, and stopped to take a breath, that he realized his heart rate was racing, and not from the half mile jog down here. What if she didn't want to see him again, what if she was scared to be found? He wasn't even a writer any more and his writer's mind was still tormenting him. He finally got to her door and stood there, rather jittery, before he moved his hand up to knock on her door. With a soft knock, one that he could barely hear himself, he stood there waiting. After a pause, he heard the lock open, the chain being dragged through it's holder, and the knob being turned, all sounding like they were done simultaneously.

She flung the door open. "Hey oh..." He was cut off when she grabbed a fist full of his fleece and yanked him toward her with a forceful tug that threw her lips onto his. She pulled him inside, mostly by the lips, and closed the door behind him once he was inside.

There was the soft, languid, loving kisses when ever they shared a 'special' moment, but then there was this. The hot, feverish, hungry make outs that were fueled by passion, desire, and for him at least, an incredible amount of physical attraction. Their lips slid against each other as her hand moved to cup his cheek, with the other grasping his scarf, to yank it off of his neck, then moving to the back of his neck. She let out a loud moan of satisfaction when he cupped her cheek and tugged her closer to him with a firm pull against her waist. He felt her slowly bring her right leg up his own, and hook her ankle behind his calf.

She was returning everything he had with ferociousness, and he was glad to let her bombard his lips ferociously with hers. When it came to matters of their sexual activities, he learned that it was better to just let the lion run untamed, rather than stand in front of it with a chair and a whip and try to control it, although, he had brought up the whip once.

She tangled her tongue up with his before he pressed against the small of her back and tilted her head back to give him full view, along with full access, to that still taught neck that he loved to tease. He still remembered the exact spot, and what to do once he was there. He pressed his lips against her jaw, then right in front of her ear, then just below it, then behind, then... _right there, _he thought to himself as he felt her body quake in his arms when he reached just behind her jaw, where it met her neck, running small figure eights with his tongue against it. She balled her fists against the back of his head to hold him there before she started to claw and nag at the arm of his fleece. He released her neck and recaptured her lips, and ran his hands down her sides, thumbs brushing the sides of her breasts.

He felt her press her hands against his chest, and began to spider crawl them up, inching upward, and toward the middle, in search of the zipper. Before he realized it, she ripped the zipper downward, having it let out a loud sound, but not loud enough to drown out the sound of the possessive groan that had escaped his throat. He threw it off in a direction that he would remember later.

He didn't know what exactly she was wearing, or what the lay out of her apartment was, but he knew her. He gently lifted the hem of her, what felt like thin T-shirt and ran his hands against the hot skin he felt underneath it. He moved his hands higher, gliding over her stomach, brushing the bottom of her bra with his fingers, and moved to her back. He clutched the fabric behind her between his fingers and flipped it up and over her head, bringing it to handcuff her hands in front of her.

Finally able to look into her eyes, it only made him want her more. Her iris' were dark with lust and want, and he felt as if they were ripping his clothes off of him, with out her even actually touching him. He let the shirt fall to the floor in front of them before she attacked his lips again. She pushed him backwards towards the door until he felt his back hit against it. She started to run her palms down his chest, until they reached the bottom of his shirt. He felt her grasp the shirt tightly and yank it up wards, but only to have it come up right above his abs. He let out another moan, before he moved his hand from her waist, up to pinch the frame of his glasses with his fingers, and pull them up off of his face, and let them fall to the floor. He was going to make love to her as Richard Castle, not Craig Johnson. She fell in love with Richard Castle, her partner was Richard Castle, and right now, Richard Castle just came back from the dead.

She threw the shirt off of him and then she stopped, looked down, and ran her fingers down his chest and revere. "Wow. You're so... so..."

It's true that he worked out a lot more than he usually did, but she never acted like this. "What?" He said breathlessly.

"Uh... cut." Her eyes only grew darker as her fingers continued to map the ridges of his muscles.

"I picked up kick boxing when we were first moved."

She let out a small chuckle before she let her bottom lip come into the hold of her teeth. She returned her gaze up to his eyes. "It suits you."

He smiled before her hungry lips were on him again. She moved her fingers lower to find the buckle of his belt and began to open it, and for the first time in twelve months, he didn't feel the unbearable hesitation that he felt, the nauseous crawl that would have bile cling to the back of his throat when ever this would happen. For the first time in almost a year, it felt right. He felt his belt slacken around his waist before his button was undone. He grabbed her wrists to stop her, but he had good cause for it this time, it wasn't so he could run away, out of the bar and hail the first cab he saw. "Where's your bed?"

"In my bedroom, why?" She asked as she went to his neck to begin feathering it with kisses.

He felt his eyes flutter backwards before he answered. "Uhm, I just thought that oh..." He stopped when he felt her tongue against his earlobe. ", that it might be more fun if we did this there."

"Oh, come on, Castle. Why not here?" She asked playfully.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we did this against a door?" She stopped and leaned back to look at him with a confused look.

"Yeah, so?"

"Kate..."

"Castle, that was the door to the porch at the Hampton's, and there's no way I could have known that some one would be walking on your _private _stretch of beach just at that minute."

"Just... please?"

She stared at him for a moment before she let her bottom lip fall into the light grasp of her teeth before she cocked up her eye brow, and her gaze turned lustful once again. She pulled him by the hands down a small hall way that ended with a door, she shoved it open against her back and tugged him inside. She spun him around by the wrist before she stalked toward him, running her hands up his chest again and coming to clench his hair in her hands and force him backwards. They fell onto the bed and he made quick work of her bra.

Placing each breast into the palm of his hands, she pressed against him to make his grip tighten slightly around them. He moved his hands around to her shoulders and pulled her down to lay fully against his chest, and run his lips over hers in a slow pursuit up to the point that they both knew they were headed to. He felt her start to grind against him, and press her center down toward him, which made him buck his hips up slightly at the firm contact of their arousal's. She moved her hands from his chest down to her pants button, and snapped it open, and given the opportunity, he pushed against her side and flipped her over to have her lay on her back, with him off to the side.

She seemed to be rather impatient, because when he gently ghosted his fingers across her stomach and came to grip her side, she was rushingly pushing her slacks down her legs, arching her back to get them around her ass, which upon observation, was still as fine as ever, and them began to kick her legs slightly when they reached her ankles. Once they were off, and in a puddle on the floor, she quickly lunged over toward him and straddled him, attacking his mouth yet again. He felt her reach between them, and grasp the top of his pants with one hand and tug upward. "I want these off." She demanded against his lips. "Get them off."

"Don't you think that we should take this slow, make it last?"

"Castle," She released his lips with one last kiss. "I've waited a year for you. I'm sick of waiting. So just, please..." She drawled on, before she pressed her hips down against his as hard as she could. "Get them off." He started to kiss her again and he pressed his hips upwards and pushed against his pants to get them off, just like she asked. Once they were in a puddle over hers he settled himself down again, and gazed up at her.

She was still the most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes upon. Her hair was short and blonde, not long and brunette, her skin was a bit lighter than it was, but she was still as gorgeous and as sexy as ever. She leaned up and placed her already glistening center just above his hard cock, and sunk down onto it slowly. She let out a loud moan, and ground down against him for a moment just before she started to move up, and sink down harder. She started to move again, but when she was just about to sink down, he met her half way, and she let out a small gasp at the speed of his thrust.

It was just then that something change in both of them. They had been apart for a year, not given a chance for a proper farewell, lives uprooted and flipped upside down, with the loves of their lives being torn from them. Now was not the time for sensual, or slow. They missed each other, in more ways that one, and he couldn't speak for her, but this was the worst dry spell he's ever faced in his life.

He quickly shot up and captured her lips in his in a hot, frenzied kiss, and pushed her back against the bed, and sunk himself deeply into her. He felt a rush of air past his lips when she gasped at the force of his action, and it served as match to a quick burning fuse. He pulled himself almost all the way out before he thrust himself into her again, and again, and again, not bothering to set the face slow, as he usually did, letting it built up from a slow burn into a raging forest fire. It had been burning for too long, and now, it needed to explode.

The pace was set on a fast tempo, the music of their bodies hitting against each other in a movement of sexual desire. He felt her inner muscles start to erupt and tighten around him, and he leaned back to see her eyes glaze over in ecstasy, when she felt her squeeze him relentlessly and dig her fingers into his shoulders. He slowed the pace for a minute before she rasped at him. "Don't stop." She wrapped her legs around his waist and hooked her ankles together and he continued to thrust into her. When his body begun to go rigid, his moves untimed, she arched her back into him and spoke again. "Let go."

He let himself release into her with a few more thrusts before his body went slack against her. He sat inside her for a minute, panting with her, inhaling the thick, musky scent of their love making. He pushed himself up heavily to find her still gazing at him. "You're still amazing at that." She smiled warmly at the comment and let her head nod off heavily to the side. He pushed himself over and fell against the bed next to her. He nodded his head off toward her, and found that she was still gazing at him, moving her hand up to trace a line down his cheek.

"I love you, Rick." She uttered once her breathing returned to normal.

"I love you too, Kate." He tugged her over and she rolled into his side and laid her head on his shoulder.

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An hour later, they were both still laying in her bed, still completely naked, neither one of them willing to move from their position. He had been running his fingers up and down her arm, and she had been tracing the lines in his newly outlines abs. "Do you miss it?" She asked him.

"Miss what?"

"You're old life. The loft, the precinct, the boys..."

"I miss everything. Kevin and Javier were the only true friends I've ever had. I miss solving murders, I miss the loft, I miss bringing you coffee every morning, I miss my mother, I miss everything, Kate." His voice had quickly become thick, he'd been holding in something for some time now.

"Martha isn't with you?"

"No, she uhmm... she's..." She saw a tear leak out of the corner of his eye. Could she really be...

"Oh, god, Castle. I'm so sorry. I didn't know." She quickly sat up over him and pressed a hand to his cheek. She knew what it was like to lose a mother more than any one, especially when you were so close. She knew that, for the longest time growing up, it was just the two of them. They had spent most of their lives living together, and with a mother as loving and nurturing as Martha was, it was hard not to miss her. For her, Martha was a motherly presence for her, and at times, in the dead of a dark, rainy night, she missed her too. She missed every one, but there were special times, when she missed Martha the most. But right now, she knew that pushing him to talk about it was not a good idea. Simply offering a shoulder to cry on was the best option, after all, that's where most people went wrong with her, they were always pushing her to open up and talk about it, when she just wanted to one to just let it all out on. He would talk about it when he was ready, and right now, he obviously wasn't. She replaced her head against his shoulder and continued to rub the middle of his chest with her palm.

With a slight sniffle, that he seems some what ashamed to take, he continued. "What about you?"

She paused for a minute before she spoke. "I miss Lanie... and Espo, and Ryan... and my dad. I miss being a cop, I miss my job. I miss having a purpose, one that means something to somebody. I miss working with you on cases. I miss not being myself. I miss my old life."

"You know, a few years ago, I would have said that being in witness protection would be cool, fun, exciting. But now that I actually am in witness protection, it really sucks."

She chuckled. "Yeah, it does. But, for what it's worth," She lifted her head and looked over at him. "It just got a whole lot better." He smiled before he craned his neck and kissed her.

"Yeah, you make me want to keep going, Kate."

She simply kissed him sweetly again and laid her head back down on his shoulder, and hugged his midsection tightly.

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**A/N: I told you you'd hate me! And for those of you who are still confused a little bit, the details of how they wound up in WITSEC will be revealed in coming chapters, I just need to be in a place where I can tell the whole story with it feeling natural. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, especially the last part. Thank you all for reading, and REVIEWING! ;)  
**

**~Major. **


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Castle, Drama, Romance