Fire Emblem Relax

**A/N: Hey hey, how's it going? Happy belated St. Patrick's Day and stuff. **

**It's been awhile since I posted a friendship/family fic, and Leo has become a very important (and hilarious) part of my life now, so that's what this is going to be. Bromance, yo.**

**So, sit back, dim the lights, and enjoy the show!**

Standing in front of the Shepherds' blue-haired leader in the mess tent, Leo crossed his arms as he stared at Chrom eating his pot pie.

"Chrom, are you aware that you have a serious problem?"

"I do?"

While he wanted to snort at the piece of chicken on his chin, the silver-haired man kept his serious-but-unserious look on his face. "Yes. The problem is that recently, you've been acting like you have a pole up your ass. And while that's well and good in the presence of other nobles, it's been cutting into our downtime."

Chrom leaned back in his seat, raising an eyebrow at him. "I'm fairly confident that I'm not half as stuck-up as these other nobles."

"True, but you're still too stuck-up for my taste. So, to fix this problem, I came up with an idea."

Chrom paled slightly. He knew what came of these ideas that his crazy Tactician had. "Oh gods."

Leo turned to leave. "I'll be by your tent later. Don't make plans."

.oO

Later in the evening, Chrom was snuggled in his cot, drifting off into sleep, when suddenly—

"Yo, Chrom. It's me. Open up."

Groaning and stumbling out of his cot, the blue-haired man opened the flap-door to his tent, and sure enough, Leo was standing there. "Leo, it's one in the morning," he mumbled. "What could you possibly have planned at this hour?"

"Shut up and follow me. Bring a towel."

"Why would I need a—"

"Don't ask questions. I'm a master Tactician."

Giving in to his friend's cryptic and strangely expected answer, Chrom dressed himself quickly and grabbed his towel. He followed Leo, trying to wheedle answers out of him as they walked. However, the blue-haired man only received varying answers of "You'll see", "It'll pay off", "Be quiet", and even one "If you don't stop asking questions, I'm going to hurt you". After about twenty minutes of walking, the two men reached a small pool of fresh water. Leo clapped his hands. "Alright, we're here."

Chrom looked bewildered. "What are we doing here?"

Removing his cloak and his shirt soon after, Leo spoke one word. "Strip."

"...excuse me?"

The silver-haired man looked at Chrom as if he were insane. "Did I freakin' stutter? Take off your clothes. We're going skinny dipping."

Chrom stared at him disbelievingly. "You can't be serious."

"Trust me, this is going to work."

Sighing, the blue-haired man began to disrobe. After a moment of silence, he said, "...please, don't do that again. You seriously scared me."

"What, randomly tell you to strip while we're all alone?"

"Yes."

"Pfft. I have a mega hot Dancer wife. I think I'm well off in the physical relations department. Although..."

"Although?"

"...we could do it if you want."

"LEO, WHAT THE F—"

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding. Really. Gods, man, loosen up! Your face is all red."

Choosing wisely not to reply, Chrom stood with Leo, both naked, in front of the pool of water. Leo cast his wine-colored gaze at Chrom. "You ready?"

He sighed. "As I'll ever be."

"On the count of three. One..." Chrom took a deep breath. "Two..." Both men tensed their bodies, clenching their fists in anticipation of the cold shock that was to come. "THREE!" And off they went, jumping into the glassy surface of the water with a great _sploosh. _Chrom rose to the surface first.

"BWARGH! COLD!" he yelled.

"Start swimming, you idiot!" Leo called after him. "You'll warm up faster!"

Shivering, the Lord moved through the water, his teeth chattering as he did so. "G-gods, th-this was a t-t-terrible idea..."

"Quit whining. It'll pay off, so keep swimming."

The two men continued to wade in the water, their bodies growing accustomed to the cool chill. After a long while, Chrom floated on his back, gazing up at the clear sky. The moon and stars cast a bright light on them, making the clear water almost sparkle. "...this is strangely relaxing," he mumbled. "It's so quiet."

After another short period of staring, Chrom sat up and said, "Maybe this wasn't such a waste of..." looking around, he noticed he was short one Tactician. "Leo, where are you?"

Suddenly, he heard a splash directly behind him, and felt arms circling his middle. Turning his head to see who caught him, Chrom sputtered "Leo, what the hell are you—!?"

It was too late. "I REGRET NOTHING!"

"YOU PSYCHOTIC SON OF A—"

And down they went, the silver-haired man catching him in a suplex maneuver with a large splash. Leo rose first, laughing as he wiped the water from his face. "Woo! The look on your face was priceless! How do you feel no—"

His sentence was cut short with a surprised yelp as Chrom caught his throat with his right hand, his body and eyes flashing a dangerous gold. Drawing off of Aether's power, Chrom lifted Leo up with one arm, and with a grunt, threw him down into the water. "And to answer your question, I feel great now, no thanks to you."

After a minute, Leo surfaced and stood, a rose-colored flame flaring from his body. He smirked, a clear challenge in his flashing pink irises, Ignis fully radiating off of him.

"Oh, so you wanna have a _go, _big man?"

"Bring it on, bookworm!"

.oO

The next morning, Chrom stood at the front of the army, the party beginning to march to their next destination. He, however, wasn't feeling very up to the weather. "Ah... Ah-CHOO! *sniff* Damn, I think I caught a cold..."

Catching up to him from behind, Leo heard his sneeze and replied with a sniff of his own. "What, you too?"

Chrom stared at him with an unreadable expression. "Leo, you're a crazy bastard. *sniff* But I have to say, last night was...fun. It's the most fun I've had in a long time."

"See? Told you it'd work." Leo grinned at the Lord, sniffling as he did so. "Fun is just as important as sticking a sword in something. You've been all work and no play for weeks now."

"Ah... Ahh...! ACHOO!"

"Bless you."

Chrom sniffed. "...huh. Thank you. But you're right. We should do something like that more often. Sneaking off to blow off steam after a long period of time sounds far better than—"

"Suffering through immense workloads without pause and not stopping to relieve injuries and forget the untold horrors of war, even for just one day?"

"...yes, that. How do you manage to do that?"

"You seem to forget, Chrom my man." Sniffing briefly, the silver-haired man shoved his hands in his cloak pockets. "I'm a master Tactician."

The Lord sighed, shaking his head and grinning. "You're insane, is what you are."

Leo smiled and playfully punched him in the arm. "And yet you still come back for more."

"Isn't that what best friends do?"

"You got that right. I'll always be here for you, man. As your Tactician AND your friend. Don't forget that."

"As if you'd let me forget."

**A/N: And done! I love these two so much.**

**I love the thought of them engaging in a skill-wrestling match...the whole 'Chrom choke-slamming Leo with Aether' thing came to me before most of the story, and the idea was so hilarious that I had to do it this way.**

**Anyway, reviews and such, please!**


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Fire Emblem, Humor