Holby City All Right?

All Right?

A/N

So this is my fixer-upper for Tuesday's ep (13/01/15) Jac, Jonny, and Emma wise!

Told from Jac's point of view.

Reviews welcome,

Laura xxx

Do I really want this? For myself? For Jonny? For Emma?

Do I really want to travel to the USA, leaving Emma alone? She's my miracle baby… and yet I'm leaving her alone just to go and teach the Hertzig procedure to a load of med students. I don't think I'll have the patience… I'll end up snapping at them, and annoying Patsy in the process. She as so patronizing today… I don't really want her on the end of the phone everytime something goes wrong during my time away/

And then there's Guy. The man who I think I'm falling in love with yet I can see Jonny looking at us whilst we're together, trying to figure out what's going on.

Yes I like him. But, I don't love him, like I loved Jonny.

Jonny annoyed the hell out of me, yes, but I loved him for it. Not that I'd ever admit that to him, of course.

It's Emma's birthday today. Jonny has been texting me all day, asking me to come to her party. I didn't attend, because I was, as usual, wrapped up in my work, all this worry about the Hertzig.

7pm, the time my shift ends, is drawing near… Perhaps I should go and see Emma? I'm her mother, I can't just abandon her like my mum did to me.

I'm sitting alone in my office when Elliot knocks on the door.

'Come in.' I call.

"Penny for them?" he smiles, sitting down.

I sigh. 'As Jonny has probably told you, it's Emma's birthday today.' I say.

"Yes, I can't believe it." he answers.

'Professor Hope… I'm having second thoughts about the USA. I know that you are very eager for me to go through with it, but I don't want to leave my daughter. And I don't want to inconvenience Jonny… see, if I take Emma with me he'll be flying out to America all the time to see her. Patsy told me that it wasn't worth it… that's why I didn't go to her party… I don't want her to become attached to me then I leave.' Everything comes out of me in a rush, and I realize that I'm about to start crying.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Jac. Go and see your daughter, wish her a Happy Birthday. I know that the Keller ward means everything to you, but it's what in your heart that counts, remember that." Elliot says, then leaves.

I decide to take his advice.

I arrive at Jonny's place 20 minutes later.

I knock on the door quite hard, without meaning to. my hands are shaking, my heart is thudding.

Jonny opens the door and looks shocked to see me.

"Don't look so shocked. I've come to see Emma, dummy." I tell him.

"Oh…" he steps aside to let me in.

"She's sleeping in her room, but I suppose it would be alright for you to wake him up, just this once." Why is he acting so aloof? I'm Emma's mum and he's telling me that it "alright just this once" to wake her up and wish her happy birthday?!

However, despite my thoughts on his little speech I decide to ignore him. I came here to see my daughter, not to argue with him.

I go into Emma's little room and walk towards her cot.

I pull up a chair and sit next to her, watching her sleep.

"Hello, little one. It's your Mum, I came to say Happy Birthday." I whisper.

She stirs, and opens her eyes.

"Hey." I smile.

She frowns for a second, then smiles back.

"So… you're one now, hmm? It feels like only yesterday when I was in that hospital bed with your Daddy by my side, annoying the heck out of me when all I wanted was for you to be safe." I say.

I left her out of her cot and hold her close.

"Emma Naylor, I love you to bits. How would you like a big adventure with your Mummy?" I ask her.

"I'm sure she'd like that very much." Oh no. I hope Jonny didn't hear all that…

"And what's that got to do with you?" I narrow my eyes at him and set Emma down.

"Er..." He stutters as I stalk past him and into his living room.

"You didn't deserve that, I'm sorry." I admit.

"It's okay." He says.

"Look, I'm sorry for my last comment. You didn't deserve that." I admit.

"It's understandable, Jac." He smiles, slightly.

"So… you're going to the US." He's trying to make conversation now.

"Er, yeah…" this is awkward. I ought to just go.

"what about Emma? What about our daughter?" he asks. His Scots accent is getting stronger, that's a sign that he's getting angry.

'I don't know! If I take her with me, you'll be flying out all the time to see her, and if I don't take her with me, I'll become a stranger to her!' I answer back, trying not to raise my voice.

"I could come with you." Jonny mutters, almost too quietly for my ears to pick up. Almost.

"What?" I'm confused now. What the hell is he playing at?!

"Nothing. You can't see it, so it doesn't matter." He looks worried now.

Oh my God. He thinks I can't see that he still loves me?

Even when he was with Bonnie, he mooned around after me. After Emma was born, I cut him off, had a custody battle with him… I'm not exactly a perfect Mum.

"I can see it." I answer, looking into his eyes, searching for a reaction. I'm scared of what he's going to say.

"Can you?" he asks.

I roll my eyes and step closer to him. 'Course I can, you idiot.'

"Oh…" he's embarrassed.

'This is the part when we're supposed to kiss and make up.' I inform him.

"Well, I guess we'll have to make a horrible cliché out of things…" he says, before giving me a kiss.


End file.

Holby City, Humor, Romance