Naruto 1. A Close encounter

Author's Note: Hark! The summer heat is upon us all! Hurray for summer break! Ok, one of my AU's... XD Sorta skeleton-ed after a Korean movie (100 Days with Mr. Arrogant-- watch it! I absolutely ADORED it...) but the rest of the plot is mine...

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

Pairings: mainly Sasunaru... with other pairings that might make guest appearances per reviewers' requests:D

**100 Days with Mr. Stupidhead**

Chapter 1: A close encounter 

It was a dark and moonless night… In downtown metropolis of Konohagakure, store owners were just about closing down their shops for the night, and workaholics were getting ready to head home. In another, better part of town however…

"This…this is… too much…"

Crystal tears fell from equally crystalline blue eyes as a boy with sun-blonde hair crushed a piece of paper tightly to his chest.

He shivered at the night wind and breathing, stared down below. Down… down… down it went, 14 stories in total. Not even a demon could survive a fall like that. Well, a demon might; but certainly not a 17-year old boy.

Uzumaki Naruto, at the prime of his young life, shorter than average height, and a finicky connoisseur of ramen, was going to kick the bucket tonight.

"Ok…" he murmured to himself, taking one last glance at the darkness around him. "Here goes…"

Closing his eyes, he stretched out his arms, took a deep breath and slowly fell forward…

Until a pair of arms caught him from behind, that is.

"Naruto! What the hell do you think you're doing?" came his savior's voice from somewhere above his head.

"Hm… heaven is warm… soft, too. Is that Neji's voice I hear?" the blonde mumbled hazily, blinking his eyes at the sudden light, and the figure that was right above him.

_What's Neji doing in heaven? Isn't he supposed to be in that "_other"_ place along with all the other rich,_ _stuck-up bastards in the world?_

"And I suppose you think suicide doesn't lead you to eternal damnation, either." The aforementioned "rich, stuck-up bastard" said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

Naruto sat straight up. "Neji! It's really you!"

The Hyuuga stared at his younger friend with a weary sort of exasperation.

"Naruto," he said in a painfully patient voice. "the next time you try to kill yourself, do it at your own place, won't you?"

Said blonde pouted. "I can't! I live in a bungalow, remember? Even throwing myself off the roof wouldn't kill me. Besides, the old lady would kill me for splattering blood on the lawn."

Neji rolled his eyes. "And you don't think _I'd_ kill you for leaving a corpse for me to find?"

"Of course not. What are friends for?"

"Never mind." The older boy sighed and got up and stuck out a hand for Naruto to grab.

"Hmph…stuck-up bastard…" Naruto grumbled, ignoring the hand and getting up on his own.

Hearing the comment, Neji smirked. "And I suppose that's why I belong to that "other" place you were talking about."

Naruto blinked. _Oops…_ He grinned sheepishly and followed the Hyuuga into the kitchen.

After grabbing two mugs of warm beverages—coffee for Neji and chocolate for Naruto—both boys sat down in comfortable silence.

"So… are you taking pills now?" the pale-eyed boy finally broke the silence, smirking at the blonde across him.

Naruto glared his hardest and stuck his tongue out at Neji. "No."

"…What was that all about, anyway?"

"Well…" he paused, looking down at his mug with his lower lip stuck out in a small pout.

He looked so down-hearted that even Neji's below-zero degrees icy heart cracked a micrometer.

"Neji…" and this time, watery blue eyes looked up at him in despair. Ok; scratch the micrometer and make that a centimeter. The Hyuuga did have a soft spot for his best friend, after all.

"NEJI!" Wailed Naruto, leaping right across the table into a very startled Neji.

Miraculously, nothing on the table was spilled.

Neji on the other hand, was suffering a severe case of shock from Naruto's sudden launched attack. When he finally came to his senses, the blonde was blubbering on his $7000 cashmere sweatshirt.

"Naruto…Please tell me what's going on." he said as calmly as he could, what with the sobbing blonde clinging to his very expensive shirt and all.

"I… fwed muw shwnth wizsh thush sherm…" Naruto finally mumbled into his best friend's chest.

"… And kindly remove your face from my shirt."

The blonde lifted his head and gave the brunette a watery glare. Then he bit his lip and sniffled.

"I FAILED MY TWNETIETH QUIZ THIS TERM!" he yelled right into Neji's ear.

Neji grimaced as all 2 of his eardrums shattered. _'Oh well… there goes my hearing…'_

He sighed. "Let me get this straight… you received your 20th quiz for the term today, failed it, as with all the previous 19 quizzes you failed. And then you decide to kill yourself by jumping off the 14th floor of an apartment building. More specifically, MY apartment. Am I getting this right?"

"Pretty much." Naruto nodded vigorously.

"You idiot." Neji sighed again, raising an arm above the blonde.

The blonde winced at the smack he was undoubtedly getting on the side of the head (or on the top, if he was unlucky.).

A hand came to rest on his soft, yellow spikes.

"Naruto," Neji leaned his forehead against his friend's.

"Uhhuh?"

"You knew I was going to catch you anyway, weren't you?"

Blue eyes blinked innocently at pale ones. Then Naruto's mouth stretched into a grin. "Yup!" he announced gleefully.

_Smack!_

"Owww!" the blonde yelped, grabbing the side of his head.

"You are such an idiot." Neji smirked, shaking his head. He stood up, unceremoniously dropping Naruto on his butt on the floor.

"That really hurt, you know!" he whined, rubbing at his sore bottom as he stood.

The Hyuuga smirked again. "Hn. Serves you right."

"Go home, Naruto. I'm sure Tsunade-san is getting worried about you."

Naruto groaned with dread. "Are you kidding? That old lady's going to torture me within an inch of my life when she sees my grades."

"Well, at least she'll leave you alive." Ah. Ever practical; that was Neji for you.

"Fine." Naruto grumbled, picking up his things. "I'll go throw myself in front of a car or something."

He stormed through the large apartment and stopped at the door, pausing to put on his shoes.

"Naruto," Neji called from behind him.

"What?" he turned around snappishly—right in time to catch a book that was thrown at him.

"Oof!" Damn… that thing was heavy.

"Read through that. Maybe something will stick in that stubborn brain of yours."

Naruto gave a small noise of thanks and turned to leave, but not before shooting his friend with a grateful smile, and Neji watched with fond amusement as the blonde closed the door behind him.

* * *

The blonde sang to himself as he began walking down the street towards the direction of his house.

"Neji sure is nice to help me out this time!" Naruto said to himself, completely forgetting the previous 19 times Neji had similarly lent him his books, but neglected to study. (in fact, all 19 previously 'borrowed' books were still in a pile over at Naruto's House, currently collecting dust and cobwebs. Neji's apartment was slowly but surely emptying of its books.)

"I wonder what's in this book anyway…?" he mumbled, flipping the book open as he absently crossed a silent street.

_Screeech!_

A car came suddenly skidding out of nowhere, headed right at him.

"Uwaaaaaaaah!" Naruto dove towards the sidewalk, narrowly avoiding being hit by the car. The first thought on his mind, of course, was revenge.

"OI! COME BACK HERE, YOU STUPIDHEAD! YOU NEARLY KILLED AN INNOCENT CIVILIAN WITH YOUR IDIOTIC DRIVING!" and with that, he hurled Neji's _hard-bound, metal-plated, 10-pound _book with all his strength right at the offending car.

_Uh…oh…_

The blonde could only stare in silent horror as the book sailed in a graceful arc through the air, bounce off the trunk of the car (leaving a rather attractive dent) and crash right through the back window.

The car screeched to a halt.

And just as the door of the car opened, Naruto's frozen brain unfroze long enough to register a single coherent thought.

_RUN!_

And run he did.

* * *

tbc 

Ok, that's it for chapter one:D heehee! Won't you pleeease tell me what you think? Sasuke will of course be making his appearance in the next chapter. XD

kyria-chan


	2. The broke and the bankrupt

Chapter two up:D wheeee! I love summer break... XD You have all the time in the world to update! heehee :p Thank you to all who read and reviewed /preens in happiness/ I'm bouncy from reading all of them! This chapter is for all of ya ;p

Standard disclaimers still apply.

* * *

**100 Days with Mr. Stupidhead**

Chapter 2: The broke and the bankrupt  


Uchiha Sasuke was pissed. Hell, he was downright _livid_ at the moment. Not only had his bastard of a brother fired him (from their family's company, no less! Was that even allowed?) but his perpetually screaming hoard of rabid fangirls had made it their personal mission to somehow "comfort" him in his time of need. He had, to his utmost repulsion, spent most of the day dodging half-naked women throwing themselves at his feet. And now, as he drove back home in a _leisurely_, _within-the-speed-limit_ rate, he wanted nothing more than to go to bed, damnit.

And then, it happened.

Some bubble-brained civilian had taken it upon himself to end Sasuke's day in utmost perfection; a lifetime in prison, charged with running someone over with a car. Of course, to Sasuke's own defense, the person was _jaywalking_ while _reading a book_. So maybe his term might lessen… oh, say 5 years or so. Fortunately, the bubble-brained civilian had realized that he was about to be killed and jumped out of the way at the last minute.

Sasuke could remotely hear a long string of curses as he drove away. The Uchiha smirked to himself. _Ah well… he's alive, isn't he?_

Apparently, the victim wasn't satisfied at just 'being alive'.

_CRASH!_

Something rather heavy (an anvil, Sasuke foolishly thought for a moment) had come flying at the back of his expensive sports car, bounced off the trunk and crashed right through the back window, landing on the back seat with a thump.

Sasuke slammed his foot down the brake. Turning towards the backseat, he stared at the offending object.

_What the hell… is that a book?_

After staring at the book in disbelief for a few moments, he reached out and took it from the back seat.

Amazing. There wasn't even a scratch on it.

Still, amazing dynamic book with the ability to survive wrecking a car window or not, his car was _damaged._ And it was going to cost someone a fortune. Sasuke opened his car door, book still in hand while relishing the thought of the expression on the anonymous civilian's face when he found out just how much this was going to cost him.

He was just about to step out of the car when the bubble-brained civilian finally decided to do something smart; he ran.

_Hn. He's not getting away that easily…_

The Uchiha looked down at the book in his hand, then at the rapidly distancing silhouette of the culprit.

He smirked.

* * *

Naruto was confused. One moment he was running back down the sidewalk to Neji's house (where he would undoubtedly find temporary sanctuary, at the very least) and the next, he was lying face-down on aforementioned sidewalk, world spinning and the back of his head hurting like there was no tomorrow. 

He gingerly raised his head. As his vision slowly cleared, he could barely make out the blurry outlines of the accursed book he had thrown at the car. It was lying right in front of his nose, looking sinisterly un-dented and mocking.

"shtoopiiid book" he mumbled.

It was lucky his head was as hard as it was, though. Any less and the book would've cracked his skull open.

Then he heard a slight shuffling sound. …Footsteps…? The blonde froze. Maybe he'd be better off pretending to be unconscious.

"Oi. Are you alive?" a hand poked at his shoulder none too gently.

Naruto decided to go for pity.

"… Nnn… Hurtssss…" he lifted his head a bit more, trying to look dazed from pain.

_Smack!_

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Naruto howled, sitting right up and glaring at the person who'd hit him.

Sasuke smirked. "Good."

"What d'you want, stupidhead?" the blonde scowled at the brunette standing before him.

"You damaged my car." The Uchiha stated simply.

"So?" Naruto almost dreaded what was coming next.

"So pay for it."

"… Why should I? You nearly killed me!"

"… Are you dead?"

"…No..."

"Then pay for my car."

"WHAT! I CAN SUE YOU FOR THIS, YOU KNOW!"

"For what, exactly?"

"Trauma and a fractured skull," Naruto muttered, while glaring murderously at him.

"Trauma?" Sasuke scoffed. "You weren't even hit. And as for your skull, I doubt that even a bulldozer could crack it."

"YOU BIG STUPIDHEAD! YOU _BEEP BEEP BEEP_--"

"Look," Sasuke interrupted, rubbing at his temples. For someone with a fractured skull, the blonde was certainly making a lot of noise. "just give me my 500,000 yen so both of us can go."

"…"

"…"

"WHAT! WHAT THE _BEEP_ FOR, YOU _BEEP BEEP_!"

"For repairs."

Naruto was speechless for a rare moment. In his mind, he was rapidly thinking up where on earth he could get that kind of money. (rob a bank…? Too cliché… Mug people…? Too weird…)

Sasuke was also beginning to tire of their conversation. Maybe he should just call his lawyer…Oh wait… he was unemployed. He couldn't _afford_ one. Great.

Finally, when Naruto had decided that he was going to just kill the man and hide the body in a ditch, Sasuke had also come to a decision.

"What's your name, usuratonkachi?"

"eh?" the blonde blinked at him, curious but scowling at the insult.

"I said…" Sasuke repeated slowly.

"I know what you said." Naruto cut him off, looking suspicious. "Are you going to get me arrested? Is that why you're asking for my name?"

"…No, but I really wouldn't mind doing that if you preferred it."

"Ha! I knew it! Well, you're never going to get it out of me… Or my name isn't Uzumaki Naruto! Kyahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…damn…"

The brunette sighed. He really couldn't believe this kind of stupidity existed in the world. Vaguely wondering if it was contagious, he told the blonde his proposition.

"Look, Uzumaki Naruto. I'm assuming you're some poor high school student who can't even afford to scrape up half the money to pay for the damage you made to my car. So… here's my offer. In exchange for paying for the damage, you have to be my slave."

"…"

Sasuke decided that maybe stupidity _was_ contagious after all.

"…"

"..."

Finally, the blonde spoke up.

"Oi, stupidhead… what's your name?"

The question surprised the brunette for a moment, before he decided to answer. Anyway, what could the spacey blonde do with his name?

"Sasuke… Uchiha Sasuke."

"Ok then…" Naruto took a deep breath.

And started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"SOMEONE HELP ME! UCHIHA SASUKE IS TRYING TO TURN ME INTO HIS—mmph!"

Sasuke tackled the blonde before he had a chance to finish that sentence.

"Shut up, you idiot! Are you trying to wake up the whole world? You—ow!"

Naruto had bitten the hand covering his mouth.

"I wouldn't have yelled if you weren't such a pervert!" the blonde snapped.

"How the hell did I become a pervert?"

"You were asking me to become your… your sex slave!"

"I was NOT asking you to become my sex slave. Who'd WANT someone like you in their bed?"

Naruto refused to answer him, face still red from their argument. He sighed and bit his lip.

"I don't have the money," he admitted quietly.

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"But," the blonde added, looking defiant. "I am NOT willing to sell my body for it!"

The Uchiha gave a frustrated sigh. "I don't _want _your body, idiot. You're not even the least bit attractive."

"Then what _do_ you want?" Naruto didn't even notice the insult aimed at him.

"Think of it as a personal assistant kind of thing." Sasuke smirked, thinking about all the money he'd be saving after firing all the servants in his house. (he needed to be a cheap bastard; he was already unemployed, after all…)

"…aren't you rich enough to have loads of those?"

Ah. Of course Naruto would have no idea he was currently in a financial fix.

"Would you like me to call my lawyer?" Sasuke was hating himself at the moment for making empty threats, but desperate times did call for desperate measures…

The blonde pouted for the longest time, and finally, he shook his head. "I'll be… your slave" he winced at the word.

For the nth time that night, the almighty Uchiha Sasuke smirked.

"Good."

* * *

tbc 

ahhhh... /stretch/ heehee... I'd like to quote sasuke on one of his lines in this chapter...

Sasuke: "I don't _want _your body, idiot. You're not even the least bit attractive." O.o hmmmm... you sure about that, Sasuke? XD I think you have some rather interesting ideas just looking at Naru-chan...

Naruto: O.o;;

So, what d'you think :D tried not to leave it at a cliffie... did it work? XD

kyria-chan


	3. For the Love of My best friend

Oh! Oh! Oh! Chapter threeeeeeee, finally! heehee:D sorry about that long loooong update! Oh... I JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL THE OTHER DAY! YAAAAAAY! Hehehe... Ahem... ok, back to topic... I tried to make this one a bit longer... o.o;; my sincerest apologies for the late update /bows/

Thank you so much for all the yummy reviews/beams/ I'm so happy! yay! hahahahaha! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter:) as always, reviews make me happy! (more motivation for updating, too!) /nudge nudge/ ;p

* * *

**100 Days with Mr. Stupidhead **

Chapter 3: For the Love of My Best Friend 

"I can't believe you're leaving me on my own, Nejiiiiiiiii!" wailed a very, very distressed blonde as his so-called best friend turned his back on him.

The Hyuuga let a small sigh escape his lips. "It's not like I didn't try, you idiot." He muttered under his breath. Of course, the blonde hadn't even heard him say it, seeing as he was too busy wallowing in self-pity. Neji cursed silently to himself as he remembered the previous night's events.

* * *

**_Flashback_**

"Help meeeeeeee!" a blonde blur tackled him just as he was getting ready for bed in his bird-print! pajamas.

"…what?" the brunette growled with gritted teeth. Hadn't he just helped out this same distressed blonde 30 seconds ago?

His irritation melted just a smidgen, however, when he saw the heart-melting pitiful look on his best friend's face.

"What did you do… this time?"

"Well, I…" sniffle, sniffle.

"Neji, I…"

_Pop!_ went a vein in the Hyuuga's forehead.

"I… I SMASHED UCHIHA SASUKE'S CAR AND NOW I'M HIS SLAVE! UWAAAAAAAAAH!"

_Pop!_ went Neji's previously shattered eardrums. At this rate, he really _was_ going to be deaf before the age of 20.

_Waitaminute… _and the brunette's genius Hyuuga brain started to process what the blonde just said. _Smashed Uchiha Sasuke's car…_

He smirked. Oh, this was priceless.

The Naruto stared incredulously at him. "Neji, what are you smirking at? Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"Yes, I did. What did you smash his car with, Naruto? And get off me."

The blonde hastily complied, still looking incredulously at his friend. "A… book. Uhm… Did you REALLY hear me?"

Neji's mouth was twitching violently, like he was about to laugh. But instead, he said, "Yes, Naruto; I did hear you. Do you know who Uchiha Sasuke is?"

"No… some rich, stuck-up stupidhead, probably…"

"Uchiha Sasuke…is the son of my father's twin brother's sister-in-law's second cousin."

"…"

"Naruto?"

"…yea?" the blonde was still trying to figure out where the connection was.

"He's my greatest rival." (bohahahahahaha!)

"Oh…"

"And you smashed his car with a book."

"Yup."

"And you know what that means, right?"

"I'm his slave…" the blonde sighed.

"Ye— what?"

"Weren't you listening!" Naruto thrust his face in front of the Hyuuga's, blue eyes wide and accusing.

"… You didn't say anything about being a slave." Neji replied very, very calmly. Extremely calmly.

Naruto gulped. A calm Neji was normal. A very calm Neji meant he was irritated. A very, very calm Neji meant… well, he still had no idea what that meant, since he'd never seen this level of calmness before. (O.o;;)

"Yes, well I tried to get out of it, see, but he threatened to call the police if I didn't pay, and he tricked me into telling him my name, and… and I didn't have any money! So I _had _to sign the contract! And now I'm his slave, and who _knows_ what he might do, and— OW! HEY!" the blonde's babbling was cut off when Neji's fist smacked down his head.

"I have _money_, Naruto." Oooh… the Hyuuga was seething now…

"Well, yes, I know that… but…" Naruto trailed off blushing, still rubbing at his head. Geez; first the book, and now this? His poor skull could only take so much!

"but?" Neji prompted.

"I'm always borrowing from you and I didn't want to borrow anymore. I can take care of myself, you know!" Then he added, "and you didn't need to hit me so hard, either! That bastard threw that stupid platinum-plated book at my head!"

"He _what_?"

Naruto could practically feel the violence rolling off his pale friend. Huge, _huge_ amounts of it, too.

"Tell me… _exactly_ what happened." The Hyuuga ordered, automatically switching into hyper-protective-best-friend mode.

The blonde swallowed hard. Well, at least the anger wasn't directed at _him._

And of course, he told the story with nothing but the truth. Absolutely, positively nothing but the truth.

"…and then he _hurled the book at me_ for no absolutely no reason AT ALL! And… that's when he, while singing 'I feel pretty' in a really, really gay way, I might add, crashed his own car into the curb. The end!" was how the blonde ended his story.

Neji stared at him for a few moments, then sighed.

"I'll need the real version this time."

"Oh… uh… right." Naruto grinned sheepishly, and retold the whole story, with no additional info. (well, maybe a little drama on his part.)

When the blonde finished, the brunette was tiredly rubbing at his forehead. "You," he said, "are an idiot."

"How am _I _the idiot?"

"Did you even _read_ the contract you signed?"

"Of course I did!" Naruto said indignantly.

"Did it say anything about physical abuse or torture?"

"Eh… I don't… think so…"

Neji sighed. "…Go home, Naruto…"

"but… but… what am I gonna do?"

"Just go home and try not to throw my book at anything else, all right?"

"but…"

"Trust me." his left hand came up to push Naruto towards the door.

"Ok… g'nyt, Neji. And… thanks." The blonde threw one last grateful look at his best friend before the door clicked shut.

"You're welcome." The Hyuuga muttered, though his response was left unheard. Sighing for what seemed like the millionth time that night, he shook his head. Really; 2 good deeds in one night? _Now_ who could tell him he going to end up in the "other" place along with all those other rich, stuck-up bastards?

Throwing on a jacket, he headed outside his apartment and went to ride the elevator. He needed to visit someone on the 10th floor.

* * *

"What the hell do _you_ want?" came the oh-so-hospitable greeting when the door of apartment number 1001 opened.

"Look, Uchiha," Neji tried to say as civilly possible. (which was really not very civil at all…)

Sasuke cut him off before he could say anything else. "Look, Hyuuga. Unlike your kind, who stays up all night and sucks the blood of the living, some of us have to get some sleep."

The pale-eyed boy gritted his teeth. _Naruto._ He reminded himself. _This is for Naruto. _Although he half-wanted to throttle said blonde at the moment.

"Uchiha," he tried again. "I understand that a friend of mine accidentally damaged your car tonight."

Sasuke stared curiosly at him for a moment, then nodded curtly. "What an interesting taste in friends you have."

Neji had to restrain himself from hitting the Uchiha. "Look, I'm willing to pay for the damages, so if you would just—"

"That's all right," the shorter brunette cut in smoothly. "Your friend is already paying for it, in a manner of speaking."

"So I've heard. But we've already agreed that I would pay for it in terms of money, so that it wouldn't –"

"Oh?" Sasuke interrupted him again. "But he's already signed a contract. I'm afraid that your friend" and he smirked at this point. "has a commitment he must fulfill."

The Hyuuga gritted his teeth. "Then may I see the contract?"

Sasuke smirked. "Of course you may."

And he promptly slammed the door in Neji's face.

**_End of (an extremely long) flashback_**

* * *

Naruto continued to pout at his friend. "But… but… I'm supposed to head over there now!" 

"Then go ahead! You signed that contract, didn't you?" Neji snapped irritably.

"Fine then!"

With one last glare, Naruto stormed out the apartment leaving a very agitated Neji behind.

"Stupid… stupid Neji…" the blonde muttered as he pressed 10 on the elevator.

He was still sulking when he reached his new master's apartment.

"Open up, you stupidhead!" he yelled, banging on the door.

No response. Naruto glared viciously at the numbers on the door before banging on it again.

"IF YOU DON'T OPEN UP THIS INSTANT, I'LL—"

"You'll…?" a voice interrupted his racket.

The blonde whirled around angrily to see a smirking brunette looking straight at him.

"Here."

Naruto reached up to catch the rag and bucket that were thrown at him.

"Your first job is to wash the car that you damaged last night. It's parked outside the apartment. I assume you know what it looks like?"

"Yea, yea…" Naruto grumbled.

He stomped off to the elevator once again and went all the way down this time, and out the building where he saw 2 cars parked. One was Neji's, and the other one, perfectly un-dented and shiny, was Sasuke's.

What the hell? Now he couldn't even gloat over the fact that the book-shaped dent (or its lack of existence, rather…) was caused by none other than himself.

Just then, a couple of teenagers walked past him carrying cans of white spray paint.

"Hey, cool car! Wonder how it'd look like with snow on it?"

Naruto's eyes widened. They were going to spray paint Neji's car! If he didn't stop them, that is.

"OI! IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY CAR ALONE I'M GOING TO CALL MY BODYGUARDS AND HAVE THEM MAUL YOUR BUTTS TILL SUNSET!"

The 3 kids turned and looked at him. And they looked, and looked, and looked. And then they started laughing.

"Didja hear that lady? Bodyguards, she says…"

"I AM NOT A LADY!" the blond all but roared, hitting the nearest one with the bucket.

"Ow! Hey! Ok, ok! Keep your hands to yourself, lady!"

Naruto glared as they walked away, still snickering. They had left a can of spray paint behind. _A can of spray paint._ A wicked grin crossed his face as the list of possibilities slowly bloomed in his mind.

_You'd be further in debt, you idiot! _One side of his mind argued.

_I'm already _in_ debt. How much worse could it get? And who're you calling idiot?_

And then the internal debate stopped when Naruto realized he'd just called himself an idiot.

* * *

**15 minutes later…**

"I'm done with your car, stupidhead! Now can I go to school?" Naruto banged at the door.

The door swung open.

"All right, you may go." The brunette nodded, then handed him a small, sleek, cell phone. "When I call or send a message, you are to come immediately, understand?"

Naruto nodded dumbly. He'd never even touched anything _this_ expensive before! Just how rich was this guy, anyway?

"But I have school." He said loudly, before he could stop himself.

"I'm sure you do." Sasuke smirked patronizingly.

Naruto glared. "You look like you do, too, cocky stupidhead!"

Sasuke didn't reply, but instead chose to smirk (again! Damn… sexy smirk…).

* * *

That same morning, when Hyuuga Neji came down to go to his family's company in his car, he saw the one parked next to his and had to stop himself from groaning at the blonde's stupidity. (because Hyuugas _just didn't groan!_)

Incidentally, another rich, brunette (and devastatingly good-looking!) bastard came down that same morning and had his jaw unceremoniously drop open when he saw just what had happened to his (newly repaired!) car.

Proclamations of "I AM A STUPIDHEAD!" were scrawled in white paint all over the sides and right there on the windshield were the words, "Good morning, master! I decorated your car for you! Hope you like it, dattebayo!" and then there was a drawing of a bowl of… something, right beside the words. (ramen, it looked like?)

Needless to say, the rest of the apartment who hadn't been awakened by Naruto's infernal banging were awakened by curses and threats of bloody murder just outside the building.

* * *

tbc 

And that's it for chapter three! fweeee:p hehe... Silly Naruto and his ideas... /chuckles/ anywho, will do my best to update really really soon:D Fluff will come in the next few chapters, because I am shameless sap XD heehee! Ja ne!

I love ya all:)


	4. The Almostkiss

Author's Note: Meep! Sorry sorry sorry for the late update! And I don't really like this update much, either... /sigh/ I think I'm in a slump. T.T waaaah! Sniff... Anywho, standard disclaimers still apply, yada-yada... Also, translations for Japanese words can be found at the bottom. And THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who's still reading and reviewing this fic! I love you all/glomps everyone/

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* * *

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**100 Days with Mr. Stupidhead **

Chapter 3: The almost kiss

At 26 years old, Hatake Kakashi was a satisfied man. He was well-to-do, had gorgeously good looks and possessed a whole _school _of students to harass and annoy for the sake of his own entertainment. Yessiree, Kakashi was certainly happy with his job of being the principal of Shinobi High.

Today was no different; the moment he'd winked at his busty secretary and entered his office, the familiar, satisfying feeling of authority came over him and he settled comfortably on his office chair, content to read the latest version of Icha Icha Paradise with no interruptions throughout the day. Ah, the perks of being principal…

"KAKASHI-KOUCHO!" roared a very familiar voice as his office door swung open with a bang. And speaking of perks…

Umino Iruka stood at his doorway, looking deliciously flushed with anger as he held a guilty-looking blonde by the shoulder in one hand, and waving a small metal thing in the other.

The silver-haired principal closed his paperback with a slight 'frup' and looked at both his visitors with a smile. Well, as much as crescent-shaped eyes (one was scarred) could be called a smile, anyway.

"Ah… What can I do for you today, my lovely Iruka-sensei… and… Naruto?" he questioned, quite used to the blonde's frequent visits to his office.

The brown-haired History cum Music teacher blushed at the "lovely" comment but let it slip by.

"Ahem…" he cleared his throat, looking pointedly at the guilty blonde. "Naruto came in late today—for the 42nd time this year. In addition to that, he's been failing quizzes left and right. _And_," he stuck the metal thing he was holding underneath Kakashi's masked nose. "His phone began ringing right in the middle of my class."

Ah. So it was a phone.

"Interesting…" the principal leaned towards Iruka-sensei and tried not to tease him. _Oh, but he's just so **cute**_…

Iruka raised his brow. "Interesting…?" he prompted.

"Yes… and ah, you have an extremely adorable nose, did you know that?" Kakashi asked, barely paying attention to what he was saying. One shouldn't waste opportunities to ogle, after all.

Naruto snickered as he watched the brunette teacher's face turn an interesting shade of red, then a livid purple.

"Kakashi-koucho!" Iruka snapped. "I'll be leaving Naruto's punishment for you to decide upon, then." And he bowed stifle before leaving the office with a huff.

Kakashi continued staring at the door long after the teacher had left, then turned to a smirking Naruto.

"Y'know Kakashi-sensei, you should be thanking me for getting into trouble so often." The blonde said thoughtfully.

"I suppose I should." nodded Kakashi. "But you're still on garbage duty for the rest of the week."

"_Nani_? Ano sa, Kakashi-sensei! It wasn't even my fault! If that stupidhead Uchiha hadn't even given me this _Beep! _phone, it wouldn't even have rung it the first place!"

"Uchiha…?" the silver-haired man mused thoughtfully.

Naruto ignored him, continuing his rant. "and besides; you're probably punishing me only because Iruka-sensei would get mad at you if you didn't! You know Kakashi-sensei— Hey! What the heck are you doing?"

Kakashi had picked up the picked up the phone that Iruka had left on his desk and was now fiddling with it.

"Come straight to my apartment after school. Do NOT go anywhere, OR ELSE." He read the message aloud, then looked at the sender's name. "Master Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto's whiskered cheeks turned the exact color of a ripe tomato when the principal turned an amused eye towards him.

"I-It's not what you think! I…" the blonde hastened to explain.

"Your choice in lovers is certainly… interesting."

"WHAT? That bastard is most definitely NOT my lover!" Naruto roared.

"Maa, maa. You may go back to class now, Naruto." Kakashi dismissed the blonde, reverting back to his usual bored self.

Smoldering blue eyes glared at him before the blonde stomped out his office, but not before grabbing the accursed phone and jamming it into his pocket.

The principal waited until the blonde disappeared then turned to the swinging pendulum on his desk, clearly deep in thought.

"Uchiha Sasuke…" Now why did that name sound so familiar? Then slowly, like a Naruto having spotted unattended ramen, a wicked little grin formed upon his lips. (although under that mask, it was _really_ hard to tell…)

Things were going to get a lot more interesting in his school…

* * *

"I can't believe you got into trouble _again_, Naruto." Akamichi Chouji told the blonde in between huge bites of his barbeque bento. 

From across Chouji and right beside Naruto, a smirking Kiba added, "Then again, it's not like we're surprised or anything."

"Shut up." grumbled the blonde, not even looking up from his customary bowl of cup ramen.

2 girls came to join their table; both pretty, one pink-haired and the other a pale blonde.

"I can't believe you eat that stuff everyday. What's more, I can't believe you have a cell phone!" the pink-haired one commented as she sat down on Naruto's other side.

"Eh? Why can't I have a cell phone? And what's more, I'll have you know that ramen is made from the freshest, purest stuff available!"

Ino, the blonde one, set her tray next to a sleeping Shikamaru. "Sure it is; then it's processed to become the most horrible, disgustingly unhealthy stuff you'll ever eat."

"I wasn't saying you couldn't have a cell phone, Naruto. I was just surprised that you had one." Sakura explained. "But now that you _do_ have one, I'll have to add you to my list of text messaging buddies!"

"Ooooh! Good idea! Me too!" Ino nodded eagerly in approval.

Shikamaru took a moment to lift his head from the table and air his opinion.

"Cell phones… How troublesome…"

"Argh! I know! It's horrible having one! All kinds of bothersome stupidheads call you at the most inconvenient times possible!"

"Well, _I'm _certainly not a stupidhead." Green eyes glinted with the promise of certain death to anyone who dared disagree…

_Gulp… _"Eh… hehe… Sure, Sakura-chan! And you too, Ino!"

* * *

"Moshi-moshi! Ah; Sasuke-kun! Long time no talk…" Kakashi said cheerfully into his office phone. 

The person on the other end of the line wasn't quite as chirpy. "Who are you and what the hell do you want?"

"I'm wounded, Sasuke-kun… You don't even remember your former teacher anymore! Not to mention your best friend..."

Sasuke sighed irritably at the man's overly-jovial tone.

"You are _not _my best friend. What do you want, Kakashi?"

"I want to talk to you about someone you know."

"And who might that be?"

"A certain Uzumaki Naruto…"

* * *

"Oi, Naruto! You coming with us?" Chouji waved a jacket-clad arm at the blonde, beckoning him to come. 

"Ah… I can't! I have… some stuff to do." The blonde finished lamely.

"No you don't," Kiba snorted disbelievingly, knowing Naruto's less-than-full schedule.

"I do so! Ramen-stand-jii-san wants me to take this afternoon's shift! I have to make money, ya know!"

Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome… C'mon, let's go."

The three boys headed out the school gate with Naruto staring after them. When the blonde was sure that they were finally gone, he hurriedly slipped to the back gate and silently made sure that no one was following. No one, in any way, would ever know where he was off to. No one. Ever. Nuh-uh. Over Uzumaki Naruto's dead body.

Naruto was so busy repeating the aforementioned mantra in his head that he hadn't even noticed reaching the dreaded apartment building.

"Who'd follow _you_ anywhere?" came the familiar sarcastic voice, interrupting his bout of stubborn concentration.

The blonde guiltily leapt from the lamp post he'd been using as a decoy and glared at Sasuke. "What's wrong with you? You're always leaping out of nowhere and creeping me out!"

The Uchiha stared at him silently, debating on whether or not to grace this ridiculous comment with a reply.

"…"

Naruto shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, feeling strangely conscious at the receiving end of an intense stare.

"What?" he couldn't take another moment of silence.

"Look… At what you did to my car."

The blonde was immediately defensive. "Hey! I didn't spray paint your car; some crazy kids probably did it! I totally had nothing to do with that drawing of a bowl of ramen and those scribbles—"

"The clerk at the front desk" Sasuke cut in smoothly. "told me that some teenaged blonde girl had yelled at some kids, taken their can of paint and sprayed gibberish all over my car."

"Hey! What I sprayed isn't gibberish! It's clearly legible and—DID YOU JUST CALL ME A GIRL?"

"The clerk did."

"STUPID CLERK! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS, CALLING ME A GIRL?" Naruto furiously started marching right up to the front desk.

"I am going to beat him up so bad I— Oof! Hey! What was that for?"

"The clerk is a girl. Now start cleaning."

Blue eyes widened as the blonde looked down at the bottle in his hands and realized that it was paint thinner. "You want me to clean off the paint with _this? _But that'll take FOREVER!"

_Smirk. _"You'd better get started, then."

_**ONE HOUR LATER…**_

"…Stupid…"

_Rub._

"Uchiha."

_Rub rub._

"Stupid Sasuke-bastard who thinks he can make me do anything…"

_Rub rub rub._

"Stupid stupid stupud…"

_Rubrubrubrubrubrubrubru—Slip!_

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" arms flailed as they tried to keep the body from falling on the hard asphalt.

The blonde begged everything that was good and gracious to keep his poor, cute butt from kissing the ground _too_ hard.

And just when the ground prepared to meet Naruto's behind, a hand reached out and caught the boy's wrist. "Careful with all the flailing, dobe. You wouldn't want to hurt…"

The blonde found himself staring at his master's dark, dark eyes. Then down the chiseled nose, the finely sculpted cheekbones and perfect lips… _He looks… almost attractive, even for a bastard stupidhead…_Their lips were practically touching. All this was combined with a curious expression, something almost akin to… concern?

It was also at this moment that Uchiha Sasuke chose to smirk.

"…me."

_Plop!_

Naruto was unceremoniously dropped on his bottom.

"Back to work, slave." The Uchiha drawled boredly, as if nothing had happened.

The blonde opened his mouth to reply, but found that no words to convey what he meant to say. What _did _he mean to say anyway?

"Stupid." He finally muttered, getting back to rubbing at the car.

-tbc-

Koucho- Principal. It felt weird having Iruka yell "Principal Kakashi!"

Nani- What

Ano sa- Hey (or something to that extent O.o)

Maa, maa- all right, all right

Moshi Moshi- hello

dobe- dead last

Eh... I hope my little Japanese translations are accurate! I apologize if there are any mistakes-- feel free to correct me!

Amazing! You've reached the end of chapter 4 without pressing the back button the escape the suckiness of it all? But I do hope you push that little review button down there and tell me what you think anyway! Hehehe... Thanks for reading!

Till the next chapter!

-Kyria


	5. The Math teacher from Heck

Oh my giddy aunt! O.O Chapter 5 has finally arrived! X.x It's quite short, though so... I'm sorry:( But I've got my creative juices flowing now, and the next chapters will be up and coming real soon! Again, I am terribly terribly sorry for the long wait T-T and I really do appreciate your patience, all:D Thank you so much for the reviews/glomps all and hands out chocolates/ I love you all! Heehee!

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine! o. 

And now... Onward ho!

**100 Days with Mr Stupidhead **

Chapter 5: The Math teacher from Heck

Shinobi High was by no means the biggest centre of education around. As a matter of fact, it was actually the smallest in the Fire district, quite homey-looking with its white-washed walls and big, airy windows for every classroom. It was strange how great a sense of foreboding such a simple structure could project. Granted, there _was_ a certain blonde on the loose within those four walls…

On second thought, Sasuke decided, it wasn't that strange after all.

* * *

Glancing wearily at the clock on the classroom wall, Iruka-sensei wondered if it was possible that time had actually stopped moving altogether and he was doomed to spend the rest of eternity stuck with his class that (currently) reminded him of wild animals on the loose.

In other words, it was homeroom period.

A knock, barely heard over the classroom din, came through the closed door. Iruka heaved a gigantic sigh of relief and began thanking everything that was good and gracious for, yet again, saving him from an eternity of homeroom. He cleared his throat.

"If you would all just tone down a little," he mouthed.

It was impossible to say whether or not he actually said it, because anything within a 5-mile radius was drowned out by Sakura and Ino's perpetual girlish squeals of "Ohmigosh… NO WAY… He did WHAT?"

"…URUSAIIIIIIII!" proved a whole lot more effective, making every single head in the room turn towards him with looks ranging from curiosity to exasperation.

"Iruka-sensei," said one particularly dim, random girl. "You seriously need, like, a coffee break. You totally didn't _have_ to shout, you know?"

Aforementioned teacher then tried counting from one to ten in his head, and, upon failing miserably, started listing all the possible ways he could eradicate homeroom from the face of the earth.

_Extra gym? Not likely… I see Gai-sensei enough as it is… Seeing him more would mean… shudder seeing that green jumpsuit more…Snack time? Er… maybe not…Oh, the ideas Naruto might come up with ... How about nap time? Hm… Now there's a good prospect…Go to sleep or face the principal… not that he's likely to strike fear in the hearts of any of my students…_

On the other side of the door, Kakashi sneezed twice. His companion gave him a look of disdain, which the silver-haired man cheerfully waved away and murmured something that sounded like, "Iruka-sensei must be thinking about me again…"

Both men waited patiently outside for about .5 seconds more before Kakashi decided to push the door open regardless of the frantic warning signs his principal-induced-senses were sending.

Surprisingly, there was nothing heart-stopping about the classroom they'd just entered. The students were all seated, noise was minimal, and their brown-haired teacher was, strangely, standing in front with a far-off contemplative look on his face.

The principle gave an innocuous little cough, promptly snapping Iruka back into reality. "Kakashi-koucho!" exclaimed a suddenly-flustered brunette. "What tore you away from your perverted boo—ah... office?"

Kakashi merely raised an amused eyebrow in response, noiselessly indicating to the man beside him, who, in turn, nodded slightly.

"AH! IT'S YOU!" the sudden interruption had come from the back of the room, where a certain blonde had stood up to point rudely.

"Naruto!" Iruka exclaimed, shocked. He turned apologetically to the guest. "Anou… Please excuse Naruto, he can get a little… loud… sometimes…"

And the man, smirking slightly, nodded as if in complete and utter understanding of what Iruka had to deal with everyday.

"Idiots are naturally loud."

The man was Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

"I can't believe he's our new Math teacher!" Sakura mouthed to Ino in muted awe.

"Oh, I know… he's drop-dead gorgeous…!"

And the two girls, along with the rest of the female population in the classroom, ogled on as Kakashi introduced their new English teacher.

Meanwhile, near the back, a whiskered boy sat stewing.

"I can't believe he's our new Math teacher!" Naruto hissed at Shikamaru, who sat to his left.

"Oh, I know… He looks like a prick." Kiba, who sat to Naruto's right, nodded in affirmation.

"He looks…familiar…" Shikamaru frowned in deep thought.

"Yea, he does. Do you think he does any TV commercials?" Chouji mused from the other side.

Naruto stiffened. "WHAT…"

"No, I don't think so…"

The blonde relaxed. "You probably saw him on the street somewhere… Hahaha!" His laugh was nervous, high-pitched and strained. It wasn't that soft, either.

"Ahem." Iruka cleared his throat from the front of the room, glaring pointedly in their direction. "I expect you to respect Uchiha-san, especially since he'll be teaching you until the end of the year."

Naruto could've sworn he saw the brunette smirking at him. But one look at Iruka's death glare was enough to make him swallow his tongue. "Yessir." He muttered, slumping in his seat.

"Well then," Kakashi cheerfully broke the silence. "You and I had better get going, ne, Iruka-sensei? Best to let Uchiha-san get acquainted with his students!"

"What? But… homeroom period isn't over yet!" Iruka yelped as he was steered out the door by a rather happy principal.

"Yes, but surely you can spend some quality time with me, hmmm? "

The door slammed shut, and Sasuke turned to his new class of students. All the girls were gawking at him in awe, while the rest (obviously males) looked annoyed at his presence. More specifically, that tuft of blonde hair poking out from the back.

He cleared his throat. "You there, the noisy blonde at the back…" and he paused to pretend to glance at the class list. "Uzumaki Naruto."

Meanwhile, Naruto was banging his head on his desk.

Oh.

_Thud._

Dratitall.

_Thud._

I'm.

_Thud._

Going to.

_Thud._

Flunk.

_Thud._

Math.

"Uzumaki," Sasuke called again.

"WHAT, YA STUPIDHEAD?" Naruto snapped distractedly (it was more like a bellow, really), completely forgetting where he was.

The entire room had, for the nth time that day, gone completely silent.

"When you are in my class," Sasuke said, choosing to address the entire class. "I expect to be called sensei, Uchiha-sensei, or _sir_." He looked pointedly at Naruto. "…Understand?"

"Yes _sir_," the blonde said through clenched teeth, his reply reinforced by numerous murmurs of "understood" from his other classmates.

"Good. Now let's begin."

* * *

"I am soooo dead…" Naruto moaned into his jacket-clad arms. For the first time in his life, the plastic bowl of ramen in front of him was left untouched.

"Really Naruto, it's all your fault." Sakura said as-a-matter-of-factly, tucking a strand of pink hair behind her ear. "If you hadn't yelled out loud and pointed so rudely…"

"Got that right," Ino agreed. She and Sakura had already formed an all-girl Math Club, dedicated to their one and only Math teacher.

Chouji munched thoughtfully on his barbeque chips. "Huh. I still don't get it, though. Why's he picking on Naruto so much?"

"Because I'm so much better than him, obviously," the whiskered boy announced, causing everyone who was eating at his table to snort into their lunch.

"If anyone's better than him, Naruto," said Ino haughtily, "I'll stop wearing mini-skirts to school."

This statement silenced everyone at the table, because it was common knowledge that Yamanaki Ino had nothing in her closet but mini-skirts and micro mini-skirts.

"…So you'll come to school naked?"

_Smack!_

"Ow! Hey!"

"Shut up!"

* * *

Text Message from Sasuke to Naruto:

"_Dobe, be at my apartment by 4 this afternoon. My throw pillows need plumping._"

Text Message from Naruto to Sasuke:

"_Plmp ymur pilows yrself, ya laZy cAstArd. I hat you. Darnt, txtnG Is hrD._"

Text Message from Sasuke to Naruto:

"_You hat me? I'm touched. Now stop wasting my phone credits on meaningless, misspelled and unintelligent remarks. Remember, 4 pm._"

Text Message from Naruto to Sasuke: (sent 14 times)

"_yu CASTARD!"_

_

* * *

tbc_

I'll leave you to imagine who said the "So you'll come to school naked?" remark. :D

Wow, that was short! >. sorry again! I'll make the next chapters longer, I swear! T.T in the meantime, this will have to do... (did it do? o.o) Ahem... and if you all haven't abandoned me yet, reviews would be nice, too...

Domo! -

P.S. I was recently accused by one of the reviewers that I stole this idea from an inuyasha fic. I'd just like to say that I clearly stated in my disclaimer that I skeleton-ed this after a Korean movie, and that anyway, I have never read an Inuyasha fic in my life. Again, to clear up any misunderstanding, I do NOT own the basic idea, but the twists in the plot are mine. Oh, and I don't own Naruto either :p (but you probably knew that... haha... XD)


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Naruto, Humor, Romance