Gundam Wing/AC 1. Default Chapter

**Chapter special: Christmas with Jess and the G-boys**

"It's Christmas, it's Christmas!

The Jolly, fat man is coming.

Bring out your beer,

And your very close dear.

Cause it's that time of the year again!" Duo joyfully sang as he pasted the tinsel to the kitchen wall.

Meanwhile, in another corner of the room, Heero had finally given in to hammering the festive plastic babbles to cover the places where the tinsels were joined together. Trying his best to get the job done as fast as possible before his ears burst from Duo tasteless and tone-deaf yammering.

"It's a pity they don't let us get the Christmas tree," Quatre sighed deeply as he struggled to get the lights up around the window while untangling himself from Trowa.

"Hn," came the noncommittal answer from Heero. In his hands, the plastic red and gold babble broke from too much force, all thanks to Duo suddenly hitting a C-high note in his song. Out of the corner of his eye, Heero spotted a couple of earlier pasted babbles dropping innocently to the ground and wondered what method he would use to murder the long haired idiot that night as a Christmas present.

"I mean, even if the real thing can cause a problem like withering and shedding dead leaves, they always have those plastic ones . . ." Quatre continued on as if his eardrums weren't given a earful at all.

"What'll make you think we will get to use it next year?" Wufei sudden rebuttal from the door attracted all eyes. And they saw the scrawny, Chinese pilot struggling with a huge, enormous plate of turkey.

"Woah!" Duo commented on behalf of the ogling pilots.

"Woah is right. Now help me here!" the Chinese pilot commanded as he staggered under the massive weight of the turkey.

With ease from years of practice, Duo jumped off his ladder and landed in front of the struggling boy, just in time to catch the tilting end of the plate before the turkey slid right off.

Just then, the kitchen door, which led into the hallway, opened.

"Woah!" Jess exclaimed as she came through the door.

"I'm getting that a lot so you better explain yourself," Wufei said as he glared hard at her as she breezed past them.

"Fine," the girl answered, feeling indulgent since it was the season of giving. "What did you marinate that turkey with?"

"Honey and mix vegetable stuffings."

"So which one expired?"

"What makes you think that one of the ingredients expired?"

"That turkey skin is **_green_**. And there are icky, grayish-brown spots all over."

"The grayish-brown spots are courtesy of the oven over baking. The green skin . . ." and the Chinese boy paused to place the turkey on the table center, "unfortunately, is natural. Considering the feather-plucking job was dished out to me by a certain someone." And the glare shifted from girl to the happy-go-lucky brunette.

Quickly, Jess stole over to the side of the only other cooking expert around: Quatre, who likewise couldn't stop staring at the turkey too.

Giving the blond a small nudge in the side, she asked: "Are turkeys suppose to be that color when plucked?"

"I always thought their skin are grey and they are definitely a lot smaller than that size. I mean . . . that one takes up half the table!"

"Well don't look at me," Wufei retorted, backing away from the suspicious object. "I didn't choose the turkey."

"Then who did?"

"Who else could get you a turkey this huge and this color?" came the quick question and everyone followed direction in which the accusing look was aimed at. They all were given a good eyeful of an innocent, violet-blank, sweet look.

"Maxwell . . ." Heero began, a strange, sinister aura starting to glow around him, "you didn't happen to conduct . . . _experiments_ on this turkey, did you?"

"Me? Nooo . . . That one was fresh, alive when Wufei dealt it the three-finger death blow."

"It's _Shen-yi-ren,_" came the immediate correction.

"Whatever. What matters is that I didn't do anything to that turkey. Honest."

"Fine. Where did you buy it?"

"Buy it?"

"Yes. Buy . . ." and Heero abruptly broke off his sentence as a sudden, horrific idea struck his mind. Meanwhile, each of the other pilots' faces were registering horror as the same idea crossed their minds, except for Jess and Duo. Probably because one was too empty-headed to understand where else the pin-head could have gotten it from, and probably because the other was equally curious to see the effect of eating a strange turkey on humans.

Heero's mind immediately started hatching a solution to protect everyone or at least, himself.

"Everyone!" he quickly spoke, latching onto the first workable idea he could think of, "In favor of letting Duo have the first bite of the turkey, say I."

"**I**!" Four voices instantaneously responded.

"Majority wins," Wufei triumphantly announced, and popped a fork into the sulking boy's hands. "Enjoy."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Doctor G looked up from his clipboard in surprise. The cylinder, which was once occupied with a turkey, was empty.

'_That's funny,'_ he thought, inspecting every inch of the machine, trying to find the loophole where the turkey supposedly escaped. _'It was just here yesterday. And this machine isn't intelligent enough to dispose of dead things on its own.'_

But his detailed inspection did him no good. No clues as to where the turkey mysteriously disappeared to.

'_What a pity,'_ he sighed as he got up, a hint of sadness hovering above that thought, _'And he was doing much better too. So much for steroids. Now I'm never going know if it will recover from that X829 bird flu.'_

_AN: Hoped you enjoyed that chapter. More to come tomorrow or the day after. :_


	2. C2

**Christmas Presents**

"Oh! This is _sooooo_ sweet," Jess cooed as she pulled out the cream-colored cashmere sweater with fur-lined collar from its silver and gold wrappings.

"I'm glad you like it," Quatre returned amicably, looking a bit bashful. "It was pretty hard to decide since the 18k diamond pendent was equally tempting to buy. I mean . . . if you really like . . ."

"No!" Jess quickly answered, trying her best not to swoon over the mere thought that someone wanted to give her such an exquisite present. "This is just fine. Why its . . ."

"A Umina . . ." Duo whispered in awe over her shoulder.

"Duo! You shouldn't look a 'gift horse in the mouth'!" Jess chided, frowning gently to show her displeasure. "And it's an idiom," she quickly added on seeing his mouth open.

The American boy shrugged his shoulders lightly before straightening up. No doubt the girl hadn't a clue she was holding a $10 000 sweater in her hands. Plus judging from the silly grin on Quatre's face, it was obvious he was just content to let her think the sweater was an ordinary piece of thick cloth.

Then Heero stepped forward and placed his gift on the table. When the wrappings came undone, everyone was struck speechless.

Except for the one who bought it.

"Useful. For your case," he added in hopefully, for the look registering on the girl's face was beginning to look like something akin to horror.

"Umm . . . Thanks . . ." the girl muttered faintly and hurriedly buried the "Typing lessons for Dummies" CD under the sweater.

Next came Trowa and he placed his present on the table.

Unwrapped.

Jess tried hard not to weep. The redhead apparently thought giving her a full set of throwing knives made a good gift. And adding to her shock, he happily demonstrated how razor-sharp each knife was by dropping a strand of hair on each, well-polished blade.

Jess right eyebrow twitched as she gravely accepted this extraordinary gift with as much sincerely as she could master. No doubt a sure sign of trouble waiting to start with this set of equipment.

Then it was Duo's turn and he gleefully allowed his present to land in front of her with a loud "Thump!"

Jess swallowed hard and tried hard to quell the unerring suspicion that started with Heero's gift. With trepidation, she pulled back the cheerful green and red wrappings to unveil . . . a lovely heating blanket with cross-work patches as its main body.

Whether it was her imagination or not, everyone else let out a sigh of relief on seeing how ordinary it was. Until the brown haired boy opened his mouth to boost: " That thing serves a dual function now."

Silence and a tense atmosphere immediately replaced the festive mood. Then, being ever practical, Heero plied the blanket loose from the frozen girl's hands and laid it cautiously on the table. As far away from them as possible.

"Explain," Trowa commanded once Heero had accomplished his task.

"I had the thing rewired and reconstructed to not only give heat to the user underneath, but also to give protection too.

"With what?" Quatre asked, half afraid, half guessing what his answer would be.

"Electricity."

"Wonderful, I'm gonna be the first human light bulb this Christmas . . ." Jess muttered under her breath.

"What's that?" Duo's sharp ears caught a few words.

"Nothing," Jess quickly and innocently covered up her hurtful conclusion. "I just said I'm gonna be the most warm and safe human this Christmas."

'_Like passing into eternity and beyond . . .'_ a voice in the corner of her mind whispered, while she watched Duo break into a huge, pleased smile.

Finally it was Wufei's turn and he hurried forward to the table, dumping his share of gifts in front of her before exiting the room. All this without a single word exchanged between the two of them.

And leaving behind a group of startled boys.

Leaning forward, Quatre lightly touched the American's boy's back to get his attention. Once he had it, the blond boy whispered: "Didn't you say he wasn't giving her anything?"

"Don't look at me," came the equally puzzled reply, "those were his exact words to me."

"Hmm . . . A change of heart?"

"Yeah. Probably."

Only Trowa noticed the strange smile on the girl's face that day as she unwrapped the Chinese boy's presents.

'_hm . . .'_ he mused for a while as he watched the girl ripped open each of the three presents one by one. But being Trowa, he let the matter drop.

For unknown to the ignorant boys, Wufei happened to receive his gifts from the girl a day earlier.

If only they had bothered to check the small waste paper basket, hidden in a darken corner by his desk. They would have easily discovered a note with these words written:

**Coupon:**

100 Hugs and Kisses for Wufei

**UNLESS **I receive:

$100 cash

A couple of cute towels

Three hair bands

All presents must be delivered on Christmas morning or face the consequences!

Ho Ho Ho!

Merry Christmas!

**The End**

_An: Hope you all enjoyed that. A special thanks to my reviewers Raizard333, Bunny and Remiera. _

_Merry Christmas to all who read this short sidefic. _


End file.

Gundam Wing/AC, Humor