Supernatural 1. Prologue

_Prologue: Castiel's POV_

I was twisting and falling through the darkness, feeling the stinging air whip past my face. I had been falling for what seemed like hours, and wondered if there ever was a bottom to Hell. I was in Hell, I had to be in Hell, but it didn't feel like Hell to me.

For I had been in Hell when I was tasked with saving the righteous man, and this wasn't the fiery place that I had wandered through. Maybe Hell was like Heaven then in that sense, maybe Hell changed to fit the person, and maybe my Hell was falling through darkness never touching the bottom.

Yet that couldn't be right since the prospect of falling didn't really scare me, so maybe I wasn't in Hell. That would be unexpected, since whenever angels died they got sent to Hell, and hadn't I died? A loud thunk filled my ears, then I realized it was my true form (for Jimmy Novak's body was up in earth) hitting the bottom.

I realized to not have felt that, I must be disconnecting from my true form, that happened sometimes when you spent to much time on the earth plane. In here there was nothing to anchor me to my form, and I could very well just drift away and never be found again.

I slowly stood up looking around. It seemed I had fallen next to a house, but when I looked closer I realized it was Bobby's house! I thought it had burned down? I walked warily towards the house, thinking maybe it was a trap, since the house couldn't be standing.

The house though... it brought back bad memories of when I was a leviathan, how I had failed them all... How I had been so caught up in my hunger for power, I had forgotten the thing that truly mattered. Dean.

I still cannot believe how I had failed Dean, and every other human and angel who had believed in me. I still believe that I should serve penance for what I did, it is only just. but nothing ever goes the way I plan it seems.

Sometimes I wish that Dean wouldn't care so much, that he wouldn't care about if I was still alive, if I was still breathing. I do not deserve to be cared about, but Dean still cares about me no matter what I do.

Dean has always been beautiful, and spending time as a human with him has made me more aware then ever of how beautiful he is, I still find it hard to believe that I lost control of myself and kissed him, letting my emotions take over. I should not have done it, I should have had better control of myself, now he will hurt because of my loss of control. But it was so hard to resist.

I reach the front porch, and wonder what I should do next, since if this is truly Perdition there will be something nasty waiting behind that door. I brace myself and shove the door open, but I do not expect what I find. Dean is there, he is not just there but he is lying on the floor. In his blood. This is not real I tell myself, repeating it to myself as a mantra, even as I kneel beside Dean and check for a pulse.

"Dean? What happened? Who did this to you?" The questions pour out of my mouth, a stream, no, a torrent of words in my panic. You would think that seeing Dean dead earlier would desensitize me to the experience, but I feel that nothing could ever desensitize me to Dean dying. I checked his pulse again, searching for that pulse, for that spark of life that would show me that he was at least alive.

"Dean." I manage to gasp out, finding no pulse. Even in death he is still beautiful, his ash stained hair sticking up in all the right places, his features calm and peaceful. I stare at him, its not possible, this cannot be happening, he should not be dead.

"Hello Castiel." I whirl around, recognizing that voice, and find an exact copy of me, red veins stick out at the copies neck. This copy is being controlled by leviathans. I know now this is what killed Dean, i have no doubt. I charge at the copy, ready to take all my pain, rage, and guilt out, even if this is not real, this thing has killed Dean. Time for some payback.


	2. Chapter 1: Sharing Memories With A Grave

_**I've been really busy lately, so I've decided to have an update schedule, basically the most time I will take to update will be a week, but I will try to update every few days. Enjoy, and please R&amp;R! -Sophia**_

Chapter 1: Sharing Memories With A Grave

It had been exactly four months since Castiel's death. And every month had been torture for Dean. It was worse than being in Hell, worse then Cas choosing to work with Crowley over him, and worse than being a demon.

Dean had always found a way to channel his sadness and grief into blame making him a better hunter than ever, but this time it was different. For no matter how hard he tried he could only blame himself, _he _was the reason Cas had used his last bits of grace and therefore it was all _his_ fault that Cas was dead.

Dean had never hated himself as much as he did now, knowing that he was the monster that killed Cas was destroying him from the inside. He felt like he was a Knight of Hell again, with no soul, with no real motive but one. This time instead of killing Cas though, it was to bring him back, then to walk away and make sure Cas and Sam never found him, otherwise they would get hurt or at worse die.

So here Dean was, at Castiel's grave, sitting in the damp grass. He kept trying to think of what to do, what would be powerful enough to bring back an angel.

Dean came to Cas's grave everyday, ad would stare at the spot where he was buried for ages, trying to come up with a plan. Sam had given up trying to get Dean to move on, knowing it was hopeless, so instead was doing some research back at the bunker.

They had chosen to bury Cas on the highest hill they could find, so he would be close to the sky, close to heaven, they knew it was what he would have wanted.

Whenever Dean came, he would come with some blue flowers, and a promise. Something he would do for Cas when Dean brought him back. Dean would talk to the stupid grave for hours, telling him how Sam was doing, how close Dean was to bringing him back, and silly childhood stories from when Dean and Sam were little idjits.

"Once when Sammy was six, he was invited to some kid from school's birthday. I took him to the party, and watched him have fun, watched him smile and laugh, which was not something he did as often when we were hunting. Then the kid's mom told them they had hired someone special to entertain them. And a clown walked in! Now Sammy got so scared that he backed up into me, which pushed both of us into the chocolate birthday cake! All the kids started screaming and crying trying to get away from the birthday cake, while Sammy just burrowed himself deeper into the cake, trying to get away from the cake. I almost peed myself laughing-"

Dean was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He flipped it open.

"Yeah, Sammy what's up?"

"My name's Sam, Dean!"

"Yeah whatever Sammy." Dean heard Sam's annoyed huff at the other end, and laughed quietly to himself "Did ya find something on how to bring angels back?"

"No, but I just thought that the one thing probably powerful enough to bring angels back is probably another angel."

"But if that's true, why didn't Cas bring back Balthazar, or the angels he killed while he played God?" Sam was silent, then

"Its worth a shot, lets ask one of them to do it, or at the very least how to do it. We have to at least try Dean."

"Ok but who?"

"How about Cas's second in command, I think she was called Hannah."

"Dude she hates us, why would she help?"

"'Cause she would want to help Cas."

"But she might ask for something in return!" Dean really did not want to summon Hannah.

"What's this really about Dean? You seem way too against talking to her."

"Well she did seem pretty intent on killing me."

"Tell me the truth, whats the really problem." Dean remained silent he didn't want Sam to know, to tell the truth he was a little ashamed of feeling this way.

"Wait a minute... Are you jealous?" Sam asked, not being to believe what this might imply.

"Noooooooo..." Dean muttered under his breath, knowing Sam would never give him a break now. Sam pretended not to hear his anguished cry of defeat and said firmly

"Well we're summoning her whether you want it or not, and by the way, _why_ are you jealous?"

"Cause whenever she is another angel.." Dean said the short version, embarrassed with himself. He could practically hear Sam's smirk,

"Ok, so you're jealous of her cause she's an angel..." Sam let those words linger in the air "Thats really cute Dean, really cute..." Dean groaned quietly under his breath

"Now get down here pronto, we got an angel summoning to do."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam hung up the phone, still laughing about the angel thing. Dean sighed to himself, and patted the ground.

"Gotta go Cas, we're gonna bring you back." Dean said forcing a smile, even though he knew Cas couldn't see him. Dean sighed again, and got up and walked to the Impala, and getting inside. He looked back one last time at Cas's grave, than sped along, trying to drive so fast he would forget all his worries, all his pains.


	3. Chapter 2: On Hell's Rack

Castiel had been in Hell for exactly 40 years today. And it had been the longest 40 years he had every had. Upon the demons realizing that that he would not break down or cower under fake visions, they decided to ignore what they did to other angels, and started strapping him on the rack.

The rack was an endless torture device, which stretched him out vulnerable, so that endless amount of demons could hack and cut at him. Everyday his wounds seemed to heal, just for another horde of demons to begin torturing. Castiel knew though, that if he ever broke, he would turn into a demon, and would most likely try and kill all his old friends. So he stayed and endured.

"Hello again Castiel!" A green demon said brightly, almost cheerfully. Castiel stayed silent, he knew better than to give the demons a reaction.

"Ah... not very verbal today are we." The demon shook his head in mock sadness "Well we're going to have to remedy that!" Vomit (as Castiel had started to call the demon) hacked off his arm, and Castiel had to shut his mouth before the scream that was building up came out.

"Did you know that I have sent out about a hundred demons to where your boys are staying?" Vomit asked inquisitively, "Virtually an army."

"Prepare for your demons to die." Castiel said through gritted teeth, then mentally slapping himself. Why after forty years, after endless amounts of goading, why had he talked to this insignificant vomit stain?

"Oh I don't think so!" Vomit grinned sadistically "The Winchesters are good hunters, but not that good, as to stop a hundred demons charging them at once. Also for the first time there will be no angelic snobs to stop us!"

Castiel glared at the demon, furious at him, for out of all the threats he had endured for the Winchester's, he could tell that this demon was actually telling the truth. That there would be about a hundred demons charging at the bunker, and now that he was gone, there really would be no angels willing to help them.

Vomit hacked off Castiel's leg, ignoring the tiny whimper that came from Castiel. Castiel hated the rack, he hated being tortured everyday, he hated being in Hell. Escaping would be almost impossible here on the rack, for how could escape fRom something that bound his wrists and legs? The illusion chamber was way better, at least then he would have had a better chance of escaping! But there was no hope for that to happen, for the demons already knew he was almost immune to the illusion chamber.

"Ha, this is so much fun! Although it would be better if you screamed, in fact a lot better. what makes you scream little angel?" Vomit leered at Castiel, menacingly

"As long as you don't send me back to the illusion chamber I'll be fine right here." Castiel said with fake smugness

"No, it doesn't really work on you"

"Thats what you think. Wait I mean no I'd rather stay here!" It was really hard to act, Cas thought. Making your emotions correspond with your face was _very_ hard

"But maybe we could arrange it, I'd love for you to be one of the first angels to break here! All the demons would worship me for breaking you!" Vomit grinned again.

"I promise to scream, I won't be any trouble, just please don't send me back there." Castiel screamed, knowing that if this was any other demon, they would just laugh and keep hacking away at him. But this demon was one of the first that actually told the truth _and _was dumb! Castiel had to make use of this golden opportunity.

"Take him to the illusion chamber! And make it fast! This angel is starting to show some fear!" Vomit yelled to about 20 other demons. They hurried forward and detached him from the rack. He pretended to go limp.

To tell the truth Castiel was a bit fearful of the illusion chamber, who wouldn't be? It took your darkest fears and showed them all one by one, the only way he had been able to survive, was by pretending he didn't care. One of his fears had been him killing Dean, and since he had gotten to Hell, he had relived that fear again and again. He didn't want to go back to that, but now he had no choice. To escape from the illusion chamber was just a matter of living through all your fears without showing being killed by them. Alastair had designed it himself, saying that anyone who could get through that was definitely demonic enough, so that they could be released into the real world.'

The demons put a steel helmet on his head, the helmet was to make his worst nightmares come true, so that they would be actually here, in Hell. Castiel closed his eyes and waited for something to happen. Nothing happened, maybe the machine wasn't working. He had probably inherited the Winchester luck, by the way everything seemed to go wrong for him.

Castiel cautiously opened his eyes, and saw Dean. This time he didn't look hurt, nothing seemed wrong with him. The machine was definitely malfunctioning. Castiel hesitantly stepped forward, seeing that nothing really was wrong with Dean! Except wait... he thought he smelt something in the air... Was it sulfur?

"Christo." Cas whispered, and flinched back when Dean's eyes turned black. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! How was this happening, Cas thought he had buried this memory so deep that no machine would ever be able to find it.

Looking at Dean, Cas felt a deep ache in his chest, it hurt to see him like this, after forty years, and looking at Dean with demon eyes, it hurt so much. Dean's mouth curled up in a cold smile.

"Hey Cas, did ya miss me?"


	4. Chapter 3: The Nuisance Of Plans

_Chapter 3: The Nuisance of Plans_

Dean sighed loudly and slid down in his chair.

"You sure this is gonna work Sammy?"

"Quit complaining, Dean, and come help!" Sam was preparing a plan, saying that they weren't going to rush into this like normal. But Dean wanted to rush into this, he wanted to feel like he was doing something for Cas. He had to feel like he was doing _something_. It was crap not doing anything to help, even with when he had sold his soul for Sam, he had done something, he had helped, he hadn't planned it!

"Dean, come help and stop thinking of dangerous things you could to to help Cas, and come help me!" Dean growled under his breath, how did Sammy know? That little bitch was so damn annoying!

"So you going to let me in on your damn plan yet?" Dean asked, still grumbling under his breath.

"Well if you would just move your feet, and walk over here I'll show you!"

"No I think I'll just stay here."

"Dean! Just because you manage to save everyone by being reckless and risking your own life doesn't mean it'll always work!"

"I've managed so far." Dean muttered. To tell the truth all he wanted to do was make whatever damn deal he could to get Cas back, then squeeze the life out of him. He missed Cas, period. He missed the way Cas would look at him, searching his soul, he missed the way he tilted he head when he was confused, Hell he even missed the way he would not get Dean's references. Dean just wanted his angel back, was that too much to ask? Sam's face softened, as if guessing his thoughts.

"Look I'm not saying that we are not going to get Cas back, its just we need to get him back in a way so that there will be no horrible side effects." Sam said gently "Like someone being dragged to Hell." Sam's stare became pointed.

"Fine read the stupid plan to me." Dean sighed knowing he had no other option but to listen.

"So we summon Hannah, and beg her to help us, and I mean _beg _Dean. Then we send her out to search for info, while we go through all our contacts and call them until they are sick of it."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"Thats when we call Crowley..."

"Fine lets go with damn plan... But if I feel like the plan is going to Hell, I'm backing out." Dean grumbled childishly.

Sam grinned, knowing that Dean wouldn't back out. To be fair this was the sort of plan Dean would come up with and follow, it was a pretty good plan considering all the other plans they had followed through. Well if nothing worked, at least we've got a king of a plan, Dean thought wryly.

An hour later they had got everything into place, well not really, nothing really could stop an angry angel, Dean had learnt at least that much from Cas. Sam was summoning Hannah, even though he had pushed Dean to do it. Dean had refused venomously saying that he wasn't going to pray to an angel who wanted Cas to gank him, so Sam had reluctantly agreed.

"Um...I pray to Hannah, an angel of the lord." Sam started nervously, Dean smirked, not so easy when you're doing the praying is it? " We really need your help down here. We know that you hate us, but it has something to do with Cas, and we thought you should know and possibly um help?" Sam gulped nervously "Amen." He added in hastily. A flutter of wings was heard, and even to Dean that flutter sounded angry. Mirroring Sammy, he gulped too.

"Winchesters." Hannah appeared from behind them, and boy she looked pissed. Her hair was not in its normally orderly state, and her glare could start a fire. Dean involuntarily took a step backwards, bumping against the table. He was shaking, he realized.

"Why have you called me?" Hannah's voice was cold, Dean felt a shiver run up his spine, just like when he first met Castiel. Heaven's wrath was damn scary.

"Well, um-" Dean started, but Hannah interrupted

"Is it to do with the fact that you Dean turned demon and started slaughtering people, or to do with the fact that you got Castiel killed?" Her voice shook with anger, " He didn't deserve this, he died for you idiot! He should have been looking for a way to restore his grace, but instead you pulled him in for another idiotic search, you killed him, forced him to use up all his grace! AND NOW YOU DARE CALL ME HERE ASKING FOR HELP?!"

A sliver of her true voice slipped into that last part, and Dean's ears started to ache. But all she said was true, Cas didn't deserve to die like that, especially not for him.

"Look it wasn't-" Sam tried to defend him, but there was no point.

"Stop Sammy." Dean's voice was tired and defeated, "You know what Hannah? You're right! Cas didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve to die, and he sure as hell didn't deserve to do for me! Why do you think we even called you here, its not to help us its to help him! Anyway when this is all over, when Cas is alright and fucking breathing again, then I am going to make sure he has nothing to do with us ever again! Does that fucking satisfy you?" Dean couldn't help it, he knew that Cas would want nothing to do with him after this, after Cas died because of him.

"Dean-"

"Shut it Sammy." Dean ignored Sam's hurt look, and the puppy dog eyes that came with it.

"You would do this?" Hannah sounded hesitant, after Dean's outburst, but there was also a hint of respect in her eyes.

"Hell yes." There was no question about it.

"Then I will do everything in my power to help you." And with her words, Dean tried to ignore the ache of sadness, knowing that he wouldn't be able to spend more time with Cas once he was alive again. As long as he was alive though, Dean would be happy, or at least try to be.

**_Dammit Dean, why do you have to be such an idiot sometimes? Lol, so hey sorry I'm not updating as much as I used, school is keeping me busy! So I decided to make a promise to update every week before Friday, and if I don't I'll have to write two chapters! Hope you liked this chapter- Sophia_**


	5. Chapter 4: The Demon Within

**_I've posted this chapter a bit early, because I have nothing else to do with my life... -Sophia_**

_Chapter 4: The Demon Within_

**_Cas_**

"Dean, this is not you, this isn't you!" Cas said, backing away slowly, "You're not a demon anymore." That's right, Cas thought, he had saved Dean, Dean wasn't a demon, he couldn't be.

"Saving me was just a dream, it never happened. This is who I am, who I will always be." Dean's eyes flickered back to green, "Don't you recognize me Cas?" Dean smiled mockingly, his eyes changing back to that cold black. "Don't you?"

"This isn't real, this isn't real. I'm in the illusion chamber. You're not real." Cas said, trying to convince himself, more than that _thing _in front of him.

"Well you've got me there." Dean tilted his head, "I'm not real, but you see the thing is..." Dean moved forward with blinding speed, pushing Cas against a wall, and leaned towards him. "I can still hurt you." He grinned savoring, the way Cas flinched back from him.

"I will not scream." Cas said lowly, suddenly defiant.

"Oh you will, you definitely will." Dean smiled again, that cold cold smile, _it's not Dean, it's not Dean, _Cas thought, reminding himself.

"I will make you hurt." Dean threw Cas across the room, and laughed out loud. _It's not Dean, it's not Dean! He would never do this! Or would he? _Cas hated doubting Dean, but it was all he could think about as the the demon tortured him into darkness

**_Dean_**

"It is known to all angels from the time that they are created, they know what will happen when they are killed." Hannah said grimly.

"What? Where do they go?" Sam asked excitedly, Sam was always excited about learning new things, Dean thought, and normally Dean was too. But Dean was falling apart, he had an empty feeling inside him, that had only gotten worse. He had grown used to feeling Cas's grace inside him, and the grace had held him together, had sometimes been all that was holding him together.

Now there was nothing, no grace thrumming through his veins, and nothing holding him together, and the emptiness was painful, it reminded him that Cas was gone.

"They-they go-" For the first time since coming Hannah seemed unsure what to say, she was staring at Dean for some reason.

"Where do they go?" Dean asked hoarsely having a feeling that he would not like what she was going to say. "Where ever Cas is we'll get him out!" Dean hated the way she now looked at him with pity, he was not someone to be pitied.

"They go to Hell." Hannah said, and continued hurriedly, "There is a special place reserved for us, when we die, in a place called the illusion chamber." She looked at Dean, as if wondering what he was going to do next.

"Why?" Dean shouted, "Why is Cas in Hell? He doesn't deserve to be there! How can he be there?!" Dean ignored Sam's pitying look (he didn't need pity, dammit!), and stormed out of the bunker, walking then running forward, not caring where he was going.

He ran and ran, running on the highway, all his anger focused on running, on his burning pumping muscles, he hated this. He hated losing people, he hated hurting people, he hated _this. _So Dean ran and ran, noticing for the first time that he was running in darkness, running in the pitch black night.

After a while, he turned around, and started running back towards the darkness, muttering a few choice words when he realized how far he had come. Hannah could have left by now, annoyed by his sudden disappearance.

A car came speeding out of nowhere, headlights flashing brightly in the dark, Dean jumped to the side quickly, and shook his fist at the driver angrily.

Dean shook his head, and started running in the smoke the stupid car had left in its wake. He ran a few more meters, before realizing something smelled wrong, he sniffed the air, and recognized sulfur in the car's smoke, _crap._ The car was heading towards the bunker too, _double crap_! Dean took off running again, running as fast as he could to get to the bunker, for for all he knew, a horde of demons could be heading towards his home now.

He reached the bunker in good time, panting slightly from the strain of running, he was getting a bit of of shape. Dean ducked into the bushes when he saw around 20 men, going around the hill, in which the bunker was, not able to get in through the heavy steel doors luckily.

Dean fumbled in his pocket for his phone and called Sam, but there was no answer, so Dean left a message.

"Sam, there are around 20 demons outside the bunker, be prepared. I'll try and take down as many as I can." He hung up, knowing that Sam would kill him for being this reckless, but he couldn't help it. He needed something to distract him from the images of Cas being in Hell, being tortured as he had been, screaming for Dean to help me.

Dean took out his demon blade, and charged the nearest demon, reveling in the adrenaline of battle.


End file.

Supernatural