Sailor Moon Confusing Love Triangles

A-N: ^^; First of all, I want to say I have the most highest respect for Seiya Kou, even if I've only seen him- and then- *BAM!* . . her. . um, yeah- in amvs and small snippets of episodes I've been skimming through. *grin* So I don't mean any disrepect here, only my humor- now turned a bit crude and real mean, heh-, so Seiya and Mamoru ((you should've been more decisive in that Fiore movie! X( - but hey, I thought Fiore was awesome, 'cept that lady version of him was. . . touchy. XD))- utmost respect to you and I'll play with you here with. . . *snicker* Haruka-'sama'. XD PS: I'm blasted tired of my double exclamation marks, and since my question mark button isn't working, just use your instincts to know that I'm using question marks. *grin* You guys are awesome, so you'll get it fast! ^^

DISCLAIMER: All I know was I had fun toying with your characters of awesome abilities and elements, Naoko Takeuchi. *YAY!* Sailor Moon, who belongs to you, is so originally fun!

_**Confusing Love Triangles**_

"I love her enough to see her happy. You make her happy. Take care of her, damn it!.!"

"I am, but it's not enough. She's happy, but it's not what she wants!.!"

"How do you know what she wants?.!"

"I could ask you the same thing."

". . . She's better off this way."

"You might think so, but you could do just as good as me."

"You love her, don't you?.! Why are you trying to make excuses, because you're not man enough?.!"

". . . That's low, even for you."

"Hey, doesn't mean I'm wrong."

"You love her, don't you?"

"I can't help but not love her."

"We're getting married. Next Friday. The Thirteenth. It's going to hurt, you know."

". . . I know. But after that I don't have to hope anymore."

"Yes. Because after that you're going to yearn. She's going to hate you, so she'll do lots of stupid things."

"She could never do a stupid thing."

"She's doing it right now. You both are."

"*flushes angrily* I'm doing this for her own good!.!"

"We both are. Face it, she loves you."

"She NEEDS you. I can't give her what she wants."

"You can. Even if you couldn't, she'd still love you."

"You're MARRYING her!.! WHY, the gods, WHY, are you trying to set her up with a bad looney case like me?.! Huh? WHY, damn you!.!"

"Listen to yourself. I would never have heard the great racer refer to herself as something other than badass cool. She's done this to you, and it's a good thing, no matter what you think it. I'm doing this because I've been there myself before. . . and I didn't take the chance."

"*wry, wistful smile* The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

"*smirk* Not many believe it. Are you going to fly to Heaven, Haruka?"

"That's Haruka-SAMA to you, Seiya-kun-baka."

"Appreciate the nickname. Thank you."

"Grr. . . If I ever find out you've been making a jackass out of yourself just to get out of proposal and marriage. . .!"

"Oh, I didn't even propose."

"Wh-What!.?. . ."

"You heard me. I just asked for a few meetings with her, was all. Those blue eyes are the cutest things around."

"*snort* Cute? Are we even talking about the same person?"

"*uncertain* . . . She loves you."

"*menacing glare* Seiya. . ."

". . . Haruka-sam-er. . Haruka, I'm kinda scared now. How many fans have you had lately? "

"She's NOT a FAN, idiot, she's one of the most dearest women to me-!.!"

"ONE?.! *nervous laugh* One, eh? Well. . ."

*BAM!.!.!*- *door slams open to the deserted cafe Seiya arranged for them to meet and the bell tinkles a foreboding warning*- * In comes. . . Tuxedo Mask!.!*

"Guys, can I talk to you a moment?"

((both of them)) "HEY!.!"

". . ."

"Well, uh, sure, Mamo-chan. . ."

"*glare* Seiya-sweetie, call me Mamoru."

"*backs off* Haha, just joking. . ."

"Let's not waste time getting intimate with names. I'm trying to figure out who this idiot is engaged to."

". . . Can I tell you when Mamo-kun isn't here?"

"I'll kill you if it's Usa-"

"Grr. . . Koneko-chan?"

"- but Michiru-san gave me chocolate on White Day!.!"

*SPLUTTER!.!.!*

"Wh-What!.! Michi gave you CHOCOLATE? Don't mock me, Rose Boy, but get this-"

"Hmm. . . Two questions, Mamo-kun. First, did you give Michiru-san chocolate on Valentine's Day, and, second, how do you even REMEMBER White Day?"

"Wait up, whoa. Seiya-baka, you're MARRYING Michi in a blasted WEEK, one of the most UNluckiest days of the YEAR!.! Don't even ask about White Day- but more IMPORTANTLY, wouldn't'cha call your. . *grits teeth* fiancee something. . . closer?.!"

"I TOLD you, it was a JOKE-"

"Whoa, Seiya's getting married?"

"*groan* PEOPLE, it was a JOKE!.!"

". . . Wait. Back to the FIRST question. WHO were you going to hook me up with?.!"

"H-Haruka-sama. . . I'm too young to di-i-ie!.! *squeezes eyes shut* It was Usagi-chan!.!"

*SLAM!.!*

"*gape* Koneko-chan. . .? *PFFTT!.!* WA-"

"SEIYAAAAAAAA!.!"

*fumbles with roses, throws one at a "hiding behind dying-laughing Haruka, murder in his eyes*

"-AHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAHAA!.!.-OW! What the-!"

"Haruka-sama, help me-e-e-ee!.!"

"H-Haruka-san, I'm so sorry, but-!.!"

"STOP MAKING FUN OF MY PLANET!.!.! Butt nothing!.!.! *shoves Seiya over to Tuxedo Mask, winds and tsunami coming from the depths of Hell itself and raging around a mad Haruka Teno'h* WORLD SHAKI-I-I-ING!.!.!"

*BOOM!.!*

"Yeeeek! Haruka-sama, why me, too?"

"BLOODY-!"

"_**IT'S NOT MY TIME OF THE MONTH!.!.!**_"

"!.!. . ."

". . . H-Haruka-sama, just saying, but that was too much information."

"So was you showing up and saying you were going to marry USAGI when I love Michiru!.!.! *blush*"

"Oh, about that-"

"DIE!.!.!"

*At this moment Tuxedo Mask's mask breaks and a youma looking like Voldemort without the slit-nose with a face looking like it was stomped on with a pair of dirty hiking boots pops out*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!.!.! Mamo-cha-a-an!.!"

". . . That's not a very good stylist you've got there, Rose Boy. . . SPACE SWORD!.!"

_"Roses are red, your blood is too. It's gonna look wierd, when it splatters on YOU! Reflect ATTACK!.!"_

*A red wave that looks suspiciously like the special effects that come with Haruka and Michiru's appearances emit from the youma's fangless mouth*

"STAR SERIOUS LASER!.!.!"

*dust blows, and the youma is gone*

". . . I've always wondered how you managed to hide those."

"*flush* When I fight, I don't have TIME to hide. . . these."

"*grin* I'm so glad I can use my senshi abilities in civilian form nowadays. Setsuna's good at things like that. 'Sides, WHAT are you talking about? I'm talking about the sound-proof equipment around you, kind of like a private studio's aura. It feels. . . silent."

". . . Oh. That."

"Mmm-hmm."

". . . Truce?"

". . . Tell me next time when you get any other crazy ideas in your head. I might actually make them fool-proof."

"*grin* We're not completely going to be fool-free, you know."

"Stuff it. But then. . . do you?"

"Heh, so curious. But then again, I would be too, if suddenly my arch-rival in winning Usagi's heart padded herself when she transformed into leather stitchings."

"Koneko-chan's my Princess, Michiru the owner of my heart. I won't be laying eyes or hands on Odango anytime soon."

"*grin* So honest. But really- wanna peek?"

"*flush* I'm. . . curious, but no."

"Hmf. 'Course ya are."

*silence*

". . . Your attack was too destructive, look at that wall over there."

"Says the woman who ripped up the cement floor into bread crumbles."

". . . We should go."

"Oh, by the way, I called Usagi and Michiru-"

"*groan* Y'know what? For all the stress I get in talking to you and dealing with your wierd matchmaking plans, I think I AM going to take a peek!.!"

"Eeeek, H-Haruka, noooooo!.!"

"Come here!.!"

*RIP!.!*

*door opens*

"Ara, ara, Ruka. . ."

"Sei-yahhh. . ."

*time stands still, Michiru and Usagi standing in door with amused looks of perplexity on their faces as they eye their soon-to-be hopefully future. . . partners*

*Haruka and Seiya are wrestling, entangled and on the stage, spotlight center on the two, expressions of stone shock so awesomely funny*

". . ."

". . ."

"M-Michi. . ."

"O-Odango. . ."

*Michiru and Usagi turn to each other, innocence written all over the two as they hold up a voice recorder and controller for. . . Tuxedo Mask's Youma structure. Oooh, they are. . . bad*

"Hmmm. . . Michiru-san, wouldn't you say Haruka-san and Seiya have developed a bit. . . more, lately?"

"Eh, Usagi-chan. I would certainly agree with you there. Well, it shows here that. . ."

"That they're more in touch than their feelings than this whole fic ago?"

"*amused smile* It just shows that you just can't tell with. . . women."

*The two depart in a whirl of sea and moon beams while Haruka and Seiya gape after them. A cold wind makes both of them shiver, and Seiya lurches to. . her feet, transforming back into civilian mode. Haruka rises with her, grinning crookedly*

"Maybe not the best time to peek, eh?"

"What happened to never laying eyes or hands on another woman!"

". . . Are you selling yourself high, Seiya-baka?"

"Work on not being couched once in the next year and I'll call you Haruka-sama for a whole week."

*Haruka scratches the back of her head, much like Makoto would, her eyebrows furrowed, and she cocks her head, calling out*

"Mmmngh, Sets?"

*Setsuna Meioh materializes, amused*

"Yes, Haruka."

*Haruka turns back to Seiya, grinning. The man beside her grins back, sure of herself. Both shake hands, and they walk out the door, racing to catch up with their beloveds*

"Deal.*

000000000000000000000000000

A and N: . . . XD This was such a wierd idea!.!.! Nyahahahaaa! Oh, and as for the question mark, copy and paste does wonders. *grin* As for now, I think I'll go with the pairing of Usagi and Seiya after the whole 'Usagi and Setsuna' bit for now with these kinds of small chapters. This was honestly musings of my own as I imagined Seiya and Haruka actually 'conversing' somewhat 'normally'. My type of normal was never really the mass's type of normal. XD Hope ya enjoyed and wasn't scarred TOO much, take care, ja! ((Oh, and I want Seiya's attack to be the 'second' attack of the. . season, or something. It was almost like a ray just being centered dead at you. ^^))

PS: Oh, and when the Youma pops out, I was really juggling Usagi coming out and protecting 'Tuxedo Mask' while Haruka and Seiya battled it out with their Princess. *grin* My imagination scares me sometimes. XD


End file.

Sailor Moon, Humor, Parody