Hey Arnold 1. Chapter 1

"Author's note: The following story is my interpretation of what the cancelled spin-off The Patakis would be like if it would have gotten the chance to be aired. As stated in the summary, this is intended to be a dark romantic comedy, with serious subject matter including but not limited to: Drug and Alcohol use, Sexual situations(Tasteful), Bullying, Suicide/Death, Self-harm, and Depression. For that reason this story is rated M.

PS: The cover art was not done by me. The Artist's name is Charles T. Williams Jr/Aka CTW36.

"Miriam!"shouted Big Bob angrily as he entered the trophy/living room, dressed in only a clean linen shirt and thick black socks. "Where the hell are my pants?"

"Right here B." His wife replied as she entered the room with a pair of wrinkled work pants draped across her shoulders.

"It's about time you started doing something right." Bob replied hastily as he snatched the pants from her and began putting them on.

"Good morning daddy." Called Olga from the kitchen. "I'm making more of my famous lemon souffle for breakfast."

Bob didn't answer. He was now standing in front of the family's large china display admiring his formidable reflection in the glass,and had just noticed the unprofessional state of his pants.

"For crying out loud Miriam! What the Hell did you do to my pants!"

"I-I-I washed them l-l-l-ike you asked."Stuttered Miriam confused by her husbands anger.

"I asked you to wash AND iron them!"

"Well I got half of it right B." Miriam replied indignantly. I'm sure going to work one day with wrinkled pants isn't going to kill you."

Bob lunged at Miriam, causing her to cry out and fall to the ground with a thump. The noise sent Olga running from the kitchen to stand in between her father and mother.

"Stop it daddy! Stop it! "Olga cried using her body to shield her mother.

"Move outta the way Olga!" Bob demanded. "This is between your mother and me."

But Olga refused to move, instead she bravely stood her ground preparing to defended her mother as much as she could.

Just as Bob was about to push Olga out of the way, the front door opened suddenly, followed by a loud slam.

"Mom I'm home." called Helga, as she and her friend phoebe casually made their way to the living room.

"Something smells burnt in here. Did mom forget to turn the oven off-" Helga froze as she saw the battle scene in the living room. Her father in mid lunge about to attack Olga, as Miriam cowered behind her daughter.

"Uh, maybe I should go Helga." Said Phoebe in a frightened voice.

"No need."Said Big Bob, pulling his work pants from the floor. "I was just leaving."

Big Bob left the house with his work pants tucked underneath his arm and headed towards the beat up sky blue mini van that functioned as the family car.

Helga shook her head.

This was definitely a typical Saturday morning in the Pataki household. Ever since Big Bob's beepers filed bankruptcy a few months back, his mood had been more sour than usual. The electronics climate had changed, people weren't interested in buying beepers anymore, and although Big Bob's did sell other high end electronics, three other electronic type stores plus a Mega mart had opened in the city giving customers more options and lower prices, effectively breaking the monopoly Bob held. Big Bob's was still open, just barely. There were only five employees left including Helga who worked full-time hours with part time pay. Bob himself no longer made a respectable salary as the king of beepers, had to take on a second job at the Mega mart to make ends meet.

"Mom are you OK?" Helga inquired of her mother who was still clinging to Olga on the floor.

"Yeah, I'm fine honey." Miriam said as she adjusted her square framed glasses correctly on her nose.

Olga rose to her feet quickly, her head held down. "Excuse me everyone." She said so low they all had to struggle to hear her.

"I think my souffle is burning."

Olga dashed out of the room and into the kitchen. Once inside the kitchen, she put on her favorite cherry red oven mitts, and preceded to open the oven door.

Smoke poured out of the oven, quickly filling the room with it's pungent odor, obviously indicating her meal had been ruined.

Olga lifted the burnt food over her head and threw it across the room, shattering the dish, sending glass and chunks of food all over the kitchen.

"I fucking hate him!" She screamed as she sunk to her knees amid the mess. "I hate him so much!"

The sight of her Her perfect "Miss goody two shoes" big sister screaming and cursing like a sailor on the kitchen floor unnerved Helga.

Miriam stood up and started into the kitchen. "Oh Helga, could you pick me up a..."

"Lets go Phebs." Helga whispered bolting for the door. "I can't deal with this right now." She knew her mother was either going to ask her to pick up something she didn't need or worse wasn't supposed have.

"Following."Said Phoebe as she shut the door behind them.

Thanks for reading! Please review and follow if you like!


	2. Chapter Two: Best Friends Forever

**Chapter two:****Best Friends Forever**

Summer is almost over, can you believe it?"Phoebe asked as she took a tiny nibble from her chocolate eclair.

The two of them had been sitting on Phoebe's stoop all afternoon, just passing the time talking about random things.

"Don't remind me." Helga groaned. "I haven't gotten to do anything fun all summer."

"Well why don't you come to the mall with me this Saturday? All the stores are having back to school sales. It'll be a blast!"

Helga rolled her eyes at her friend. School shopping wasn't going to happen. Not that she probably couldn't use some new clothes. Her wardrobe that consisted of baggy t-shirts, faded jeans, and sneakers had all previously belonged to Olga. "Maybe some other time Phebs, after all why buy clothes when I'm getting them for free. She said imitating her father.

"Come on, aren't you tired of wearing Olga's castoffs. Besides I know you must have some money saved up."

It was true Helga did have some money saved up. She'd been carefully saving her pennies since she was small. While her parents had done well in the past financially, this almost never benefited her. In fact until she was older she had actually thought her family was poor. Her father was a notorious control-freak and doled out a family allowance, which was a couple hundred dollars weekly, to his wife Miriam with the understanding that the money was for food, bills, and other things Bob felt he was too important to handle.

Too bad that Miriam hardly ever used the money for it's intended purpose. Helga knew all to well what it felt like to come home after a long day of school and find the house dark and cold, the refrigerator empty, but the cupboards stocked with booze, cocktail olives and cartons of cigarettes.

At a very young age she realized that money equaled power. No one ever listened to her or cared if she was comfortable or not, because she was small and powerless. People with money didn't go hungry or freeze every morning in the winter because no one would buy them a coat or hat. She was tired of not having any power and vowed to change it.

Her chance came when Bob reluctantly "hired" her unofficially after the business started to decline a few years ago. She pocketed the six crumpled twenty dollar bills he gave her every two weeks and then stuffed them inside the toe of an old red and green sock she kept hidden in the back of her dresser drawer. Occasionally she'd dip into the sock for a couple of dollars here and there, to help around the house buying groceries or even paying an overdue bill or two, but that was it. Having the money hidden away was a source of comfort to her and the thought of using it to buy something for herself made her feel anxious and uncomfortable. Something she wasn't ready to share with Phoebe just yet.

"Wearing Olga's things aren't that bad." Helga lied. "Besides I don't care about that stuff anyway.

Phoebe knew Helga wasn't being entirely truthful about her feelings but decided to let the situation drop for now ."Well do you think you could just tag along with me on Saturday for moral support.I'm thinking of cutting my hair."

"Why?" Helga questioned. "It took you forever to grow it out. Bored already are you?" Helga tugged at her friends long Jet black hair, that had streaks of purple in it.

"It's not that." Phoebe began.

"More like, you want to look hot for Gerald."Helga teased

After all this time, Phoebe and Gerald still claimed to be just friends, even though it was common knowledge that the two were together.

"I do not."Phoebe blushed, trying her best to keep a straight face.

Helga gave her best friend a goofy look, causing Phoebe to break out in laughter."Really!"

.

Phoebe started to laugh and shake so hard she dropped her ice cream on her shirt.

.

"Nice job goofball." Giggled Helga while Phoebe frantically attempted to wipe ice cream gook from her shirt.

"You think that's funny?"Phoebe asked as she smeared some of the gook on her hands onto Helga.

"Oh yeah?"responded Helga smashing her ice cream on top of Phoebe's head.

The girls roared with laughter as they started a mini food fight that ended with both girls becoming a sticky mess.

"Ok, Ok, Ok, " Phoebe cried out holding her hands above her head. "I quit!

Helga smiled, it felt good to laugh and joke around. They had been best friends since preschool, and she could never imagine life without her. Phoebe was more like a sister towards her than Olga was. She knew how to make Helga laugh and relax when she was worried or scared. Even when the love of her life Arnold moved away after his grandmother passed, Phoebe knew the heartache Helga felt, and guided her through being without him. Phoebe Heyerdahl was her lifeline.

"Uh, Helga?"

Helga had been lost in her thoughts and hadn't realized Phoebe was talking to her.

"Yeah, Phebs?"

"I asked if you were staying for dinner?"

"And you have to ask that?" Helga laughed "Anything is better than dinner with Bob and Miriam."

"Dinner Time!" called Phoebe's mother from the upstairs window.

"Coming!" Both girls yelled as they raced up the stairs.


	3. Chapter Three: Arnold Returns

AN: Hey everyone! Chapter three is here, late but here. I had family over for Thanksgiving(Hope you all enjoyed the holiday!) and I couldn't find a quite place to work and think. So I wound up taking a break and manged to finish things up today. I fully intended to keep this story going until the end, so while I will try to keep updating weekly, but just in case I miss a week or two know that I'm not abandoning this story!

Later on that evening Helga left the Heyerdahl's house in a good mood. She loved Phoebe's mother and father as if there were her own. In fact when she was younger she often wished that they were her parents. That was something she still wished for.

The summer air was quite chilly that night as she walked the four blocks that were between her house and Phoebe's. Helga silently cursed to herself for allowing Phebs to talk her into wearing one of her blouses instead of a sweat shirt. The blouse, made from a silk like material that flowed and rippled when the air touched it. Whenever a gust of wind blew, the shirt fluttered softly causing a slight chill to creep up her spine,chilling her to the bones.

Helga had just passed the corner store two blocks away from her house, when someone came hurtling out of the store, crashing head first into her, knocking her out cold.

When she came to a golden-haired angel was standing over her, shaking her gently.

"Helga?"Said the angel, sounding worried. "Are you OK?"

Helga attempted to nod, but when she did her head exploded in pain.

"Ow!" She cried holding her head.

"Your hurt!" Said the voice. " Let me help you."

Helga's head hurt badly, but she had begun to recover enough to get her senses about her.

"That voice." She thought sounded so familiar yet different all at the same time.

When she looked up again at her rescuer, even though her blurry disoriented eyes she could make out the bright jellybean-green eyes, blonde hair, and the football shaped head.

Her heart leapt in her chest, as she realized who was above her.

"Arnold?" She said in a way that seemed like a question, but was in fact a certain statement.

"Yeah it's me" Arnold said smiling down at her. "Here let me help you up."

Arnold reached down to help Helga on her feet.

She stood straight up, but instantly felt wobbly and dizzy. She wasn't sure if her dizziness or Arnold were to blame for the way her legs felt. Helga had never felt so unsteady in her life.

Arnold pulled Helga close to him so he could support most of her weight.

"I'm going to walk you home." He said to her authoritatively

Helga didn't say a word of protest as the boy of her dreams escorted her home.

Helga didn't remember much of what happened after that, and when she woke up the next morning she was sure she hadn't seen Arnold, even if she had in fact seen him, he most certainly wouldn't have walked her home. Not after what she had done.

She remembered that day, three years later as if it had happened yesterday. It was something she'd always regret.

***Flashback***

That day happened on a snowy day in December, two weeks before Christmas break. Arnold had been extremely worried because his grandmother had taken a nasty fall down a flight of stairs, and was still in the hospital recovering.

Arnold was sitting alone at the very end of the lunch table during lunch, withdrawn from everyone, including Gerald who had thought it best to give his friend space.

Helga's heart hurt for Arnold but she felt conflicted on how she could show her sympathy without compromising her reputation as the meanest girl in the entire 7th grade.

"What's the matter football head?" She asked as she marched across the cafeteria coming to a complete stop in front of Arnold.

Arnold, who had been carefully picking apart a turkey sandwich, glanced at the hostile creature in front of him. He was in no mood to deal with Helga's constant badgering, so he chose to ignore her by shifting his body in the opposite direction.

Helga wasn't going to be ignored.

"I asked you a question you football headed freak!" She shouted loudly.

The Cafeteria became deathly silent as everyone stopped eating and started to crowd around them.

Arnold remained unmoved. He could feel the anger rising in him, but he was determined to not make a scene.

But then Helga snatched Arnold's beloved blue cap from his head. She laughed tauntingly as she twirled the cap high above her head.

"Give it back Helga."

"Helga, come on. Enough!" Phoebe appeared suddenly at her friends side. "The bell is going to ring any minute and I need you to go to the bathroom with me."

Phebs was coming to the rescue. She knew all about Helga's feelings and kept the secret for years, but even she was growing tired of Helga's hateful attitude towards Arnold.

"Alright Phebs, just let me throw out my trash first." She sent the hat sailing into the garbage can sitting at the other end of the table. "It's all yours now loser."

Something inside Arnold snapped. "God-dammit Helga!" He jumped up from the lunch table and charged after her, pure rage in his eyes.

"Whoa man calm down."Gerald said grabbing his friend by the shirt-tail. "Are you really letting Helga Pataki get into your head right now? Come on man she's not worth it.

Arnold shrugged off his friends grasp. "Easy for you to say. She's not fucking with you every day!

Frightened, Helga backed away realizing she picked the wrong time to mess with Arnold.

Crash! Instead of avoiding Arnold she wound up tripping over Harold and into a stack of dirty lunch trays sitting at the edge of the table, dousing her in leftover food and milk.

The cafeteria erupted in laughter.

The bell rang then, alerting the students that lunch was over, and they immediately began to head single file out of the cafeteria.

Except Helga who was covered in trash, sat on the floor looking pitifully at the mess she was in.

No one, not even her best-friend offered her a hand out of the mud. In fact Phoebe who was the last to leave, didn't cast one glance in her direction and let the door slam behind her.

********************

" Hey Olga!" Barked Big Bob from the doorway. "One of your little friends is here!"

"Huh?" Helga asked groggily.

"I said one of your little friends is here to see you! Get your ass downstairs!"

"Right away sir." Helga said sarcastically throwing the covers off her body. At this point she had grown numb to her fathers insensitivity, and inability to remember that her name wasn't Olga.

Taking a quick glance at herself in the mirror above her dresser, she attempted to smooth down her frizzy hair, and straighten the stripped cotton nightshirt that hung barely above her knees.

After a few minutes of struggling with her hair, she gave up. Besides it was probably just Phebs downstairs, and she knew her morning face wasn't a shocker to her friend.

Helga was in a rare mood that morning as she trudged down the stairs, the smell of fresh coffee and fried bacon was hanging in the air, obviously Olga's doing, made her calm. She couldn't wait to confide in Phoebe and tell her about the wonderful dream she had.

"Hey Phebs you wanna stay for breakfast?" She called as her foot hit the last step. "I think…."

Her voice died on the last word.

Standing in the living room, holding a bouquet of flowers, was her dream come to life.

Arnold.


End file.

Hey Arnold, Angst, Family