Digimon 1. The First Snow

If I Never Knew You

The Hidden Years

  
  


Chapter One- The First Snow

  
  


It was around noon and Taichi and Yamato sat in the food court at the mall. They had been together for about a year now, and what a year it had been. Ever since that night in front of the campfire where they first kissed, Matt and Tai knew they were meant for each other.

After defeating Shadowmon and returning to the real world, they were both very distraught over not being able to see their Digimon anymore. But in the weeks following, they had relied on each other for comfort. After a few nights of "comfort" in the back of the movie theater, and a few sleep overs at Matt's house, they both decided they wanted to officially become a couple.

Since that point, the two had been inseparable. They had spent almost every single day together, whether it was at school or during vacation, they were hardly ever apart. Today they were eating lunch together at their usual table. 

Matt sat with one eyebrow raised and watched Tai eat...and eat...and eat. Tai had gobbled down two hamburgers and a large order of fries, and was now working on a chocolate sundae with whipped cream and sprinkles.

"Tai, I don't get it. How come you're not a blimp? You eat enough for both of us."

"I'm eating for two now!" Tai giggled between bites.

"Uh..." Matt's eyes opened a little wider and then groaned. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother asking."

Matt slumped onto the table and poked at his half eaten salad, until he noticed something on Tai's face. The corner of his mouth turned up into a smile. Matt leaned over the table until he was right in front of Tai, and licked the tip of his nose.

"Ew! Matt what'd you do that for!?" Tai said, pushing Matt back into his chair.

"You had some whipped cream on your nose," Matt said with a big smirk of his face. The sun shining from the skylights made his blue eyes sparkle.

"You could have just used a napkin," Tai grumbled, but then started laughing. He scooped up some ice cream on his spoon and held it in front of Matt's mouth.

"Open wide!"

"Huh?"

"I want to feed you some of my ice cream."

Matt's eyes darted to some people sitting next to them with kind of a shocked look on their faces. It seemed they got looks like that wherever they went. It was troubling and frustrating to see Tai sulk after leaving a restaurant or movie, as a result of dirty looks and half heard remarks. 

When Matt lied in bed at night, sometimes with Tai sleeping next to him, sometimes alone, he wished people would stop being so cruel, so afraid of anything or anyone who was a bit different from the "norm". 

Of course it's not like Tai was avoiding bringing attention to himself. Frequently Tai would start tickling Matt or stick his hand in Matt's pocket right in the middle of a busy street or begin making out with him on the bus. They had even gotten a day of detention when Tai lost control and tackled Matt in the middle of math class. It could get rather annoying, but Matt wasn't complaining. He loved Tai more than anyone in the world, even as dim-witted as he often was.

"Tai I think people are staring."

"So?"

Matt sighed and opened up his mouth. Tai grinned happily as he fed Matt the rest of his ice cream.

  
  


"So did you think that was a good movie?" Tai said as they walked down the sidewalk from the movie theater later that day. The sun had set and the street lights were starting to come on. 

Matt wrapped his scarf around him a little tighter and stuck his hands deep into the pockets of his coat. It was late November and the first snow of the season had started to fall earlier that week.

"I wasn't really paying attention to the movie, and I don't think you were either," he said to Tai and winked at him.

The cold had given Tai's tan cheeks a rosy tint and his breath could be seen in the air as he spoke.

"Actually I'm not even sure what movie we were watching!"

"Does it really matter?" Matt said. He put his arm around Tai's shoulder and pulled him closer. Tai placed his arm around Matt's slender waist, and Matt could feel Tai's hand rubbing his side through the brown, woolen material of his coat.

"I can't believe I could ever be so happy. It's like everything's changed and all those bad times from the past are just gone. Who would have thought that it was Tai I needed all along?" Matt smiled down at Tai and leaned his head against Tai's brown hair.

"I just wish I had told Tai sooner. We could have had a lot of fun during those long nights alone in the Digiworld. Yeah, but how could I? Back then when we were in the digital world, all those images from the past were still fresh in my mind. My whole brain was all messed up and confused. Because of TK and the divorce and...."

Matt sighed and his smile faded. He looked down at the sidewalk and kicked a tin can into the street as they walked by it.

"Is something wrong, Yama?"

"No nothing, I'm fine." Matt's voice was hollow and far off. 

"Stop thinking about that! I'm so dumb sometimes. It's all over and it's never happening again. I have Tai now and being with Tai makes me happy. And I'll never let anyone or anything take him away from me or let anything bad happen to him." Matt hardly noticed Tai's voice with the argument going on inside his head.

"Matt!"

Matt suddenly heard Tai's voice over his own thoughts. "What is it Tai?"

"Matt you almost walked right by my apartment building. Are you ok or are you just off in La La land or something?"

"Sorry, just thinking that's all." Matt gave him a weak smile.

"So are you coming in or are you gonna stand out here in the cold for a while?" Tai put his hands on his hips.

"Uh, yeah sure."

Tai and Matt walked into Tai's apartment and began taking off their coats and shoes. Tai set his sneakers by the door and put some slippers on.

"Mom! Dad!" Tai walked into the kitchen and peeked around the corner. "I guess nobody's home yet. So Matt, you wanna take advantage of this opportunity?" 

Matt looked up from putting some slippers on and saw Tai leaning around the corner of his bedroom door. He was smiling so his teeth were showing and had a mischievous look on his face. He knew what Tai was thinking and tried to smile back, but when he did his forehead creased up with worry lines. 

"Matt," Tai half said, half whined from his bedroom door. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Matt sat down on the couch and picked up a throw pillow. He sort of poked at it for a moment, then hugged it against his stomach.

"I'm fine. I just have a cold or something."

"I know I'll cook you some chicken soup!" Tai said, who was now sitting on the arm of the couch next to Matt.

"No way! I don't want to die from food poisoning."

"Hey I don't cook THAT bad."

"All you know how to make are omelettes." Matt stood up and placed the pillow back on the couch. "Tell you what, how about I make some chicken soup for both of us?"

"Ok! Want some help?"

"Just stay out of the kitchen or something might explode." Matt said and slipped an apron on. He saw Tai sitting on the couch glaring at him.

"What? Oh come on Tai you know I didn't really mean it."

"Whatever." Tai turned away and clicked on the TV.

Matt opened up the refrigerator and looked around inside. "Hey Tai, I don't think I can make you chicken soup after all."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't have any chicken!"

Two empty soup bowls sat in the kitchen sink that night while the two boys who had eaten from them sat on the couch together.

"I guess vegetable soup is just as good as chicken soup on a cold night like this!" Tai said. He had his head resting in Matt's lap and Matt was flipping through the stations on the TV.

"Too bad we don't have a roaring fire instead of this stupid TV," Matt said while twirling a strand of Tai's hair around his finger. He clicked the TV's power off and sighed.

"It's only eight o'clock you know," Tai sat up and crawled into Matt's lap.

"Yeah so?"

"Well I forgot to tell you I found a note in the fridge that said my parents and Kari were going to a late movie, they won't be home until 11." Tai smiled and began kissing Matt's cheek and then down his neck.

"You have a one track mind Tai."

"Oh yeah? Well so do you! Remember 'studying' for our history test a while back? The one that we both failed miserably?"

"Oh, you mean that all night 'study' session?" Matt smirked at Tai and slipped his arms around Tai's waist. 

Tai moved closer to him until their stomachs were touching. He slid his hands up Matt's shirt and rubbed his back. Matt felt a chill run down his spine when Tai's rather cold hands touched his skin. It was freezing cold outside now, much colder than when they had arrived, and the temperature in the apartment had dropped a few degrees.

With the television and all the lights off, the bodies of the two boys could only be seen as a silhouette against the window, and the moon and stars provided a beautiful backdrop. 

"Wanna have another all night study session together?" Tai said softly.

"But your parents and Kari are going to be home soon. You don't want them to catch us do you?" Matt pulled Tai against his chest while saying this, making it very obvious he didn't actually care what time Tai's parents would be home.

"Well then it'll be double the fun because we'll have to worry about being caught!"

"I guess a little danger never hurt anybody," Matt said playfully and leaned Tai onto the couch. Matt moved onto top of Tai and lifted his shirt up a bit. He tenderly kissed Tai's stomach and held onto his waist. 

"Matt my stomach is all cold now," Tai whined. Matt stopped and looked up at him in mid kiss.

"Don't worry I think I can warm you up." Matt sat up, still seated on top of Tai. He unbuttoned Tai's khakis and pulled the zipper down, while Tai relaxed and gazed up at him. He slid Tai's pants down until they were below his hips.

"Tai, why do you always wear blue underwear?" Tai had on blue briefs with white trim, the same kind he had always worn.

"What's wrong with blue underwear?" 

Matt sighed and shook his head. "Nothing, it's just boxers are easier to get into."

"I never had any problems putting my underwear on..." Tai said with one eyebrow raised. He gave Matt a puzzled look, not quite sure what he was talking about.

"No, I mean easier for me to get into."

Tai could feel his cheeks turning red again, only this time cold wasn't the cause. Matt unbuttoned and removed his shirt and then pulled Tai's off over his head of fluffy brown hair. He leaned over until his pale skin rubbed against Tai's darker skin.

Soon the rest of Tai and Matt's clothes were scattered across the living room floor. Tai's moans and groans of pure delight echoed through the empty apartment, and Matt stayed totally silent, as always. But while Tai could feel only unexplainable pleasure, Matt's mind was haunted with the terrible images from his past. The sweet sensations he felt when he was with Tai were ever tainted by these horrible memories. Matt hoped Tai couldn't see that he never fully enjoyed himself, for a small portion of his brain was always focused on the Ishida family's dark secret. The secret that was the cause of Matt's anguish throughout his younger years, and perhaps even the reason for his family's separation.

Matt could see beads of sweat glistening on Tai's forehead as he eased his body gently back and forth. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips very softly against Tai's.

"You're so beautiful, so innocent. Too bad my innocence had to be taken away from me before I ever knew you," Matt thought. "I know what my purpose is now, to love you and protect you no matter what. Don't worry Taichi, I promise I'll always take care of you and I'll never let anything bad happen to you, ever. And some day, I'm going to marry you and we'll be together forever. " Matt sighed and thought about the money he was already saving to buy Tai the most expensive engagement ring he could find.

Matt took a deep breath as he finished, and then rested his body on top of Tai's.

"Matt, I love you." 

Matt closed his eyes and held Tai close to him. Outside a light snow had begun to fall and the city of Tokyo was now covered by a lovely blanket of white.


	2. Just Washing my Hands

Chapter Two- Just Washing my Hands

  
  
  
  


"Matt, Matt wake up."

"Nng... what..." Matt woke up out of a sound sleep upon hearing Tai's voice.

"Matt get off me! It's almost 11 my parents are gonna be home any minute!" Tai said, pushing Matt off the couch and onto the floor. Matt hit the floor with a thud and realized he was sitting on Tai's living room floor totally naked. They had both fallen asleep, completely exhausted for obvious reasons.

"Come on Matt! We have just enough time to take a shower and get some clothes on before my parents and little sister walk in and find us like this!"

Matt shook his head and bit a rubbed his eyes, still trying to gather himself. He looked up and saw Tai was already heading into the bathroom with his clothes. Matt picked his own clothes up off the floor and followed Tai. He smiled when he saw Tai's outline through the fogged up shower door. He hopped up onto the counter around the sink and watched him. He leaned over and rested his chin on his hands and gazed at the shape of Tai moving around with his slanted blue eyes.

After a few minutes, Matt grinned and walked over to the shower. He opened it up and popped his head in.

"Matt! What are you doing?"

"Things will go faster if we both wash off at the same time," Matt said, matter-of-factly. He stepped in and closed the door behind him. He moved behind the slightly shorter boy and slipped his arms around Tai's wet body.

"Matt...come on, my parents are probably on their way home right now."

"Don't worry so much Tai, come on..." Matt kissed Tai's cheek and then let his lips work their way down his neck and over his shoulder. Tai closed his eyes and began to forget about his parents coming home as Matt kissed him. Matt traced his slender fingers down Tai's chest and stomach, still gently kissing Tai's shoulder blade. Steam rose up out of the shower and fogged up the bathroom mirror as things got even steamier inside it.

Outside the apartment, Tai's parents and now 12 year old Kari were on their way up the stairs. When Mr. Kamiya opened the door he saw two pairs of shoes lying inside.

"I wonder who's here?" he said, taking off his coat.

"Tai must have a friend over," Mrs. Kamiya replied.

Kari glanced down at the floor as she took off her own shoes. "Matt must be here, I'd recognize those shoes anywhere."

"Tai! We're home!" Mrs. Kamiya called out.

"Mm...Yama...did you...hear something?"

Matt only replied by pressing closer against Tai and beginning to massage Tai's lower areas. Tai moaned softly and leaned his head back on Matt's shoulder. He could feel a slight ache start to form between his legs as Matt's delicate hands touched him.

"Tai! Tai? Where are you?" Mrs. Kamiya walked across the apartment and looked into Tai's room. Just then she heard Tai's voice, or rather Tai's groans, coming from the bathroom. She knocked on the bathroom door and called out, "Tai? Are you in there?"

Tai's eyes opened in shock and pulled away from Matt. Matt stumbled back and bumped into the shower wall.

"Matt!! You idiot, my parents are home!" Tai hissed at Matt and could see a look of panic forming on his face.

"What happened to 'Oh it'll be double the fun Matt!'?" he said, doing a pathetic impression of Tai while saying this.

"Tai? It's mom, are you alright?"

"Uh... Yeah mom! Everything is fine!" Tai yelled. He quickly shut off the water and got out of the shower. He and Matt began frantically drying off and putting their clothes back on.

"Tai, Matt isn't in there with you, is he?" Tai's mother asked from outside the door.

"Uh...yeah, we were just, Washing our hands!!" Tai called back and pulled his shirt on over his head. Kari heard Tai from the sofa and giggled to herself.

The bathroom door opened and Tai and Matt stepped out, both trying to fake innocent smiles.

"Tai why is your hair all wet?" Mrs. Kamiya asked.

"Like I said, we were washing our hands, and things got a little out of control!" Tai laughed, scratching the back of his head. He was desperately hoping she wouldn't catch on.

"Yeah, I like to have really clean hands!" Matt added. They both could feel sweat drops forming on their foreheads as Mrs. Kamiya gave them a skeptical look.

"That's Matt, Mr. Sanitary." 

Matt nodded in agreement and continued smiling.

"Well ok," Mrs. Kamiya said. Luckily, she was not the extremely inquisitive type.

"Uh, can Matt sleep over?" Tai said, trying to change the subject.

"I guess that's all right as long as his father says it's ok." Mrs. Kamiya walked away and into another room.

"Whew," Matt and Tai let out a sigh of relief.

"You two were really lucky," Kari said as she was walking into her bedroom.

"Oh yeah? What about the time you and TK were practicing 'wrestling moves' on your bed?" Tai said.

"At least that's a better excuse than washing your hands together." Kari smiled at Matt and Tai and closed her bedroom door behind her.

"Hey Dad? Yeah I'm staying over at Tai's house tonight," Matt said over the phone a few minutes later. "Huh? Yeah I know it's the third time this week but his parents don't mind. Yeah...Uh huh...Ok see you tomorrow Dad." Matt placed the phone back in the receiver and hurried into Tai's bedroom. When he walked in he saw Tai sprawled out on his bed sound asleep, still in his clothes. His mouth was wide open and soft snoring could be heard from deep inside his throat.

"Real graceful Tai," Matt said. He crawled up on the bed next to him, and soon both boys were peacefully dreaming of each other.


	3. Missing You

Chapter Three- Missing You

  
  


Tai ran out of his bedroom and picked up the phone. A few months had passed and it was now mid winter vacation. He and Matt had not seen each other since two days before when school ended. Tai was excited to have a whole week with no school that he could spend with Matt.

"Hello, Kamiya residence, this is Tai." he said, and sat himself down in a kitchen chair.

"Hey Tai, It's Matt."

"Hi Matt! I was just thinking about you."

"Aren't you always?" Tai could hear Matt laugh softly from the other end.

"So what's up?"

"Well... I kind of have some bad news. I don't think we're going to be able to spend much time together over vacation."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Well we'll be able to see each other next Friday but I'll be out of town for the rest of the week."

"How come? Where are you going?" Tai's heart sank when he realized he would have to spend a whole week away from Matt. They hadn't spent that much time apart in over a year.

Matt, who was sitting at the dining room table at his own apartment, was equally depressed about being away from Tai.

"Well TK and I are going away for this brotherly bonding type thing."

"A what?"

"We're going away to the mountains and spend the week alone in a cabin. It was my mom's idea. I have a feeling my dad and TK both think it's stupid, and I'm not that crazy about the idea either."

"You're going to some cabin with TK in the middle of winter?"

"Hey I said it wasn't my idea. I bet you'd think it was great if I was spending a week alone with you in the middle of nowhere."

"Yeah...but then I'd have to be your brother."

Matt and Tai both snickered and could practically see each other smiling over the phone. 

Matt sighed so Tai couldn't hear him. It was going to be hard enjoying his time with his brother knowing Tai was back at Odaiba without him. 

He and Tai stayed on the phone and talked for at least an hour after that, until Matt's father came home and told him he should begin packing for his trip. He and TK would arrive at the cabin early the next morning.

Matt stood in his room stuffing clothes into a suitcase. When he had packed everything he thought he would need he lied back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His long, skinny legs draped over the side of the mattress. A week without Tai, after being by each other's side for almost every minute of every day for over a year, it wasn't going to be easy.

Matt picked his harmonica up off his bedside table and held it up.

"Man, why did mom have to have such a stupid idea anyway?" Matt sighed and looked up at the harmonica. The light shining through his door from the kitchen reflected off the metal and made it shimmer like a diamond.

"I haven't played this thing a in a while." He brought the harmonica to his lips and began playing a sweet but solemn tune. The music echoed against the walls of his unlit bedroom and spread throughout the apartment. Matt's very soul went into the beautiful song he played. The sound floated through the air like a butterfly in the breeze.

Tai lied on his bed in his own apartment. He lied on his side and watched a soft snow falling. The white flakes clung to the window as they fell. Tai sighed and thought about Matt. He missed him already, even though he knew Matt hadn't even left Odaiba yet. Tai's eyes started to close and he imagined the feel of Matt's arms around his waist, holding him close. As Tai fell asleep, he swore he could hear the gentle song from a harmonica playing.

  
  


Snow blew in the door as Matt came inside. He pushed the large wooden door with his foot and it slammed shut. He walked across the room and set the pile of wood he had been holding down next to the wood stove.

TK was sitting on his bed on the other side of the one room cabin they had been staying in. He switched the portable radio he had been listening off and set it down next to his bed.

"This sucks, I have to go out and chop wood in the freezing cold for this stupid fire. This has got to be the worst idea mom has ever had." Matt took his scarf, gloves and boots off and hung his coat up on a hook. "At least I'll be nice and buff for Tai when we get back tomorrow." He grinned and flexed his arms.

"I don't know if we're going home tomorrow Matt. I was just listening to the radio and they say there's a pretty bad storm coming."

"Whatever, we'll be fine." Matt opened up to the ice box and peered inside. "What do you want for supper? And your only choice is the same garbage we've been eating for the past week."

"It doesn't matter." TK sighed and laid back on his bed. "Matt aren't you worried the roads will get snowed in?"

"TK just forget about it," Matt said as he took food out of the ice box and began heating up a pan on the stove. "By this time tomorrow we'll be back in Odaiba."

During the night, snow began to fall. It started out with a few light flurries, but then developed into a blizzard. The world outside the tiny cabin was a whirling mass of white. By morning, over 2 feet of snow had fallen and the mountain roads leading to Matt and TK's spot in the woods were all blocked.

"What happened to being back in Odaiba?" TK glared at Matt after looking out the window the next morning.

"Shut up..." Matt was putting his boots on to go outside and shovel the walk.

"Well we're probably going to be stuck a few days, the roads are all blocked off. I guess we're snowed in huh?"

"Try being a little more optimistic will you?" Matt buttoned up his coat and stormed outside. TK could tell he was getting a little more than agitated. He bent over and shoved a few more pieces of wood into the fire and decided to just stay out of Matt's way for a while.

Outside, the bitter cold had turned Matt's pale cheeks a rosy red. He wrapped his scarf tighter around him to keep the snow swirling in the wind from hitting his face. He jabbed the snow shovel into the snow and tossed it over his shoulder, getting angrier with each scoop. He had already struggled through a week without Tai, and now he was going to have to be away from him even longer. Matt's eyes started to water but he sniffed back the tears. Ice was already starting to form on his long eyelashes.

Not only was Matt's heart missing Tai, but his body was too. He hadn't gone this long without making love to Tai in several months. He had been having dreams about Tai for the past few days, so erotic he could hardly control himself. His hormones were going nuts, how could he last even more time away from the one he loved, and needed so badly.


	4. The Shape of Matt

Chapter Four- The Shape of Matt

  
  


"Taichi where are you? I can't see you." The figure of Matt wandered through a shattered world of black and white. There seemed to be no distinguishing between the floor, walls or ceiling, it almost looked like he was standing on mid air and the ground was miles below him.

"Taichi! I need you, where are you?" Matt called out into the emptiness that spanned before him, and behind him. Suddenly Matt realized there was something wrong with his voice. He looked down at himself and saw his body was smaller than it had been. He was a child again, so small and alone in this world with no color.

"TAICHI!" Matt kept walking strait ahead until the two tone world around him faded away. 

"What's going on? Where am I?" Around him a familiar setting had appeared. Was this home? The sun shone through the apartment window and lit up the room. A baby with blonde hair and blue eyes was crawling across the floor towards a stack of blocks. 

"Is that TK? This is too weird, I'm a little kid. Things are the way they used to be before my parents spilt up."

TK was only a toddler again, and Matt was a small boy. He looked up and saw two people standing side by side above TK. There were his smiling parents, together and so happy. Matt began to forget about his real life and was overwhelmed with joy. He started running towards his family, but as he got closer they began to vanish.

"Bye bye Matt..." he could hear little TK's voice call out to him as the scene disappeared.

Matt opened his eyes and found himself in bed in a darkened room. Where was he now, back in the cabin? 

Matt sat up and looked around.

"I'm back home in my own room. What's happening to me?" Matt was still a child, only a bit older now. It seemed a year or two had passed.

Just then he heard voices from outside his room. He clutched his blanket to his chest and strained to hear them. It was his mother and father, yelling and arguing. As they talked, the anger in both their voices increased. The sound of a slap startled Matt.

"No...I remember what this night is. No! Please don't make me live this night again."

A few minutes passed, he could he his mother crying, then a door slammed. Matt closed his eyes and tried to hide under the covers of his bed. This was the night, eight years ago when it all started. Matt cringed under his blankets when he saw the door of his bedroom start to open. He already knew what was coming. A dark figure stepped into his room and moved towards his bed. Matt could see the anger and hate in his eyes, anger that he knew would be taken out on him.

"Why is this happening?" Matt thought. His body started trembling as a large hand pinned him down to the bed. "I don't want to live through this again!" Tears rolled down his cheeks as the figure above began touching him, hurting him.

Matt was screaming inside his head but couldn't manage to say anything out loud. 

"No, please! Not again! Taichi help me!" Matt writhed underneath his attacker. More tears came as he relived the most horrible moment in his life.

"Not Again!!" Matt screamed. He rolled out of his bed and slammed onto the cabin floor. "Matt! What's wrong with you?" TK climbed out of his own bed and leaned over Matt's. He was lying on the floor, covered in sweat. He slowly sat up and rubbed the side of his head.

"TK?" Matt looked up at his little brother. TK's eyes were filled with concern and he held his hand out to Matt. Matt grabbed hold of it and pulled himself back up on his bed.

"That must have been some dream you had to knock you right out of your bed." TK seated himself next to his brother.

"Yeah..." Matt sighed and stared down at the floor. His and TK's shadows spread out across the floorboards, cast by the only source of light, the woodstove.

"I bet it was about Tai," TK smiled and nudged Matt in the ribs with his elbow.

Matt turned his head up at TK. He didn't look happy, but didn't appear angry either. Just sad. His eyebrows were tilted up with worry and had a look on his face like someone who's just lost their best friend.

"Oh, I guess it was a bad dream huh?"

Matt sighed and looked back down at the floor. TK put his arm around his big brother's shoulder.

"Don't worry you'll see Tai soon. Let's just get some sleep now."

Matt didn't answer, he only nodded. TK climbed back into his own bed and pulled his quilt over himself.

"Sweet dreams Matt."

Matt lied back down but kept his eyes open. To go back to sleep might mean reliving that moment again. It had played through his mind so many times, but he thought the nightmare was finally over now that Tai was with him. Tai's absence must have triggered something deep inside him.

Two days passed but no help came. The batteries on TK's radio had run out, and their supply of logs was growing small. So was their supply of food.

Matt's erotic dreams of Tai were being replaced with nightmares. Nightmares filled with horrible images and intense loneliness. He was beginning to need Tai so badly he could hardly bear it anymore.

Matt lied in bed that night with a dull ache between his legs. Thinking of Tai and how much he yearned to be with him. He rolled back on forth in his bed, unable to get to sleep.

"Hey Matt is something wrong with you?" TK said, glancing over at his brother.

"Just leave me alone TK..."

"Fine, I was just asking" 

Matt bit his bottom lip and tried to ignore what he was feeling, but he couldn't. He had never gone for so long without Tai like this. Their bodies close, every part of them touching. All the little sounds of pleasure Tai made, and the way he felt. When the two of them became one and shared that experience unlike any other.

It was almost like a drug. If he could only touch Tai for a moment he would be able to last a little bit longer. It had been nine days, and after making love to him almost every day for a year, nine days was like torture.

Matt clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to concentrate on anything but Tai, anything at all. He tried counting his breaths, then opened his eyes and focused on the firelight and shadows dancing on the ceiling. No matter how he tried, he couldn't help it. For a moment he considered masturbation to help relieve this longing, but in front of TK? 

He tossed and turned, moving back and forth, over and over, trying to fall asleep, think up lyrics to a new song, anything at all, but nothing helped. Suddenly an image flashed through his mind, one moment in time, of a little boy pressed down into a bed, crying and in pain. Something snapped inside Matt. He began to feel so angry, just so furious at the world.

He turned over and then stood up. He stood looking down at TK lying in his bed, not even a teenager yet, so innocent. Matt reached down and pulled the covers off TK, causing him to wake up shivering.

"Matt... ugh, what do you want?" TK said, without even turning over. Matt grabbed TK's shoulder and pulled him up so he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Matt? What do you want?"

Matt leaned over him, and then pushed him down, until he was lying on his back with his legs hanging over the side of the bed.

"Matt what are you doing!?" TK began to sound nervous and afraid.

Matt could only look down at him, his brother, his little brother. Matt began to forget who he was, he started to turn into someone else. Before Yamato Ishida disappeared, he managed to say one last thing.

"I'm sorry TK."

He put his hand on TK's shoulder, holding the smaller boy down to the bed. If TK said anything, he couldn't hear. He could only look down into those blue eyes, and see himself. He was looking down at Yamato, a frightened little boy, with beautiful blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, who was in the process of being shattered forever.

He pulled TK's pajama pants down roughly and moved closer to him. He could feel his little brother trying to get up, trying to get away from him, but he held him down with the strength of a man much larger than himself. As each second went by, every trace of Matt began to vanish until he was only anger in the shape of Matt.

He managed to get his own pants off while still holding his brother to the bed. He could see the little boy that was his brother and himself pleading to him, "Why?"

"I wish I knew why," the shape of Matt said to himself and TK.

As the shape of Matt moved into TK, it was almost as if his whole world burst into flames and the whole forest was burning down around them. He felt hot, so hot, and the intense heat raging inside his icy heart made him want to be sick. As his older brother penetrated him, TK had no way of knowing what was going on, or why. It couldn't be Matt doing this, not the big brother that loved him so deeply and would do anything to protect him. How could this be happening? It seemed like one minute Matt had been carrying him in his arms through the digital world, now a dark man that used to be Matt hovered over him, pressing into him deeper, loving him, hating him.

With no way of stopping, it happened again. That night happened all over again, except now Matt was stuck at both ends.

Then a moment lasted all night. Silent screams were coming from both boys. Sometimes, the silence was so loud, the shape of Matt thought his head was going to explode. 

As soon as it started, it was over. The shape of Matt lied down in his own bed, and for a moment he thought he could hear his brother sobbing. He closed his eyes slowly, and fell into a dreamless sleep. 

Some time during the night, Matt fell back into his body. The next morning help arrived, managing to break through the snowy barrier and reach their cabin. They packed up their things in silence, and rode home in the rescue vehicle in silence, and said goodbye in silence when they reached Odaiba.

Matt walked into his house and saw the answering machine light blinking. He pressed the button and the recorded voice told him he had four new messages.

He sat down and looked at the answering machine like it was the most evil and amazing thing in the world and listened to the messages play.

Message One

"Hiya Matt! It's Tai, well duh of course it's Tai who else would it be? Hee hee. Well anyway, I just wanted to say I hope you're having fun with TK. Ok, so, I guess I'll see you in a few days! So long for now!"

Message Two

"Hey Matt, it's Tai again. I was just sitting at home alone and I felt like calling. It's really boring here. I went over to Izzy's house today but all he wanted to do was upgrade his stupid computer. BORING! Yeah well, I'm checking off my calender, see you in three days Matt! Bye."

Message Three

"Hey Matt, I'm getting worried. Oh right, It's Tai. Well anyway, I heard there was a blizzard or something up in the mountains where you are. I hope you make it home safely. I really miss you Matt. I love you ok? Bye for now."

Message Four

"Yama, I've been worried sick all day. You should have been home two days ago! I don't know what I'd do if anything bad happened to you. Please be ok. I miss you so much, I can't wait to see you. How about when you get back we rent a hotel room and make some sweet loving, good idea? Heh heh. I love you Matt."

Matt sat at the kitchen counter looking at the answering machine, almost in disbelief.. He slumped over and rested his head on his arms.

"What have I done?"


	5. A Candy Coated Existence

Chapter Five- A Candy Coated Existence 

  
  


Matt sat in his room looking at a picture of his once family. His mother, his father, and TK, but it seemed like the boy in the picture that was supposed to be him was someone he didn't even recognize. He sat staring and staring, and heard someone ringing the doorbell out side.

"Hi Mr. Ishida, is Matt home?"

"He's here Tai but he's in his room. I don't think he's feeling very well, he hasn't talked to me since he got home."

"Oh well uh...can you tell him I stopped by?"

"Sure thing Tai."

Matt heard the front door close, and his father's footsteps coming towards his room. A crack of light appeared on the floor as the door opened up.

"Hey sport, what's bothering you? Tai was just here and he looked pretty upset that you didn't want to talk to him."

Matt's gaze shifted from the framed photo in his hand to his father. How could he just stand there talking to him, like nothing happened?

"You did this..." Matt said.

"What?"

"YOU DID THIS!" Matt screamed, and threw the picture against the wall as hard as he could. The glass shattered and flew in every direction.

Matt stormed out of the room and began putting his coat and shoes on.

"Matt where are you going? Get back here!"

"I'm going for a walk," Matt choked out through the tears that had started flowing. He wiped his arms across his eyes, drying them with his sleeve.

"Matt what the hell is wrong with you!?"

Matt slammed the door in his father's face and went outside. He walked down the stairs of the apartment building into the cold outside world and began heading down the sidewalk with his hands deep in his pockets.

Tai was currently walking down the sidewalk in the other direction, but turned when he saw someone walk out. There was Matt, walking down the street away from him.

"Matt! Hey Matt!" Tai jogged after him and slipped his arms around Matt's waist when he reached him.

"Matt I missed you so much!"

"Go away, Tai." Matt said without even looking at him.

"What?" Tai stumbled back and looked at Matt in disbelief. "Matt did I do something wrong?"

Matt turned around slowly to see Tai standing on the sidewalk behind him, looking like someone had just slapped him across the face. Tai's eyes were watering and about to overflow with tears.

"What am I doing? Tai didn't do anything wrong. What's happening to me... What's wrong with me!?" Matt screamed at himself inside his head.

Tai began sobbing. "Matt I...I'm sorry if I did something to make you mad. If you wanna break up with me and find somebody else I understand...." 

The anger ran away from Matt's face and his features softened. Tai could probably stop a war with just a smile if he wanted to. There was just something about him that made people want to be happy.

"Tai, come on don't cry." He stepped over and hugged Tai, holding him close and drying his tears off with the collar of his jacket. "I'm sorry, I'd never love anyone else but you, ok?"

He could feel Tai nodding and then stepped back to look at him.

"Matt what's wrong?"

Matt sighed and looked away for a moment. "Nothing, don't worry about it." He took Tai's hand in his. "Now how about I go buy you some ice cream?"

Tai grinned and squeezed Matt's hand. "What kind of ice cream?"

"Hmm...Vanilla ice cream with pineapples and chocolate sprinkles?" 

"Yahoo!!" Tai jumped off the ground and then kissed Matt on the nose. "I'll race you to the ice cream shop!" He ran off, leaving Matt alone with himself.

Matt sighed, and decided to try and forget about what had happened, and just fill his life up with Tai.

  
  


"Matt do you want the rest of my apple?" Tai said, with his mouth full of caramel.

"Tai why did you get a candy coated apple if you weren't going to eat it?"

"I just like the candy part, not the apple." Tai giggled and handed the rest of the apple to Matt, who began eating it.

"Well don't ask for anything else, you've already had four ice cream cones and a cookie."

"Can I have a balloon?" Tai nuzzled his face against Matt's neck.

"Ugh...."

Matt and Tai were walking through the mall together and had just gotten done paying for Tai's food at the sweet shop. Tai grabbed onto Matt's hand as he was tossing the stick to the candy coated apple in the trash.

"Matt, I really missed you while you were gone."

Matt sighed and forced himself to smile at Tai. "I missed you too, more than you can ever imagine."

"Hey Matt,"

"Yeah Tai?"

"Is there any rule about making love on a full stomach, like with swimming?"

"I don't think so."

"Hey Matt,"

"Yeah Tai?"

"You know that bathroom on the third floor behind the movie theater that no one ever goes to because it's always out of order and two people could be in there alone and nobody would ever know?"

Matt raised his eyebrow at Tai, staring at Tai's stupid little grin he had plastered on his face. He grabbed his hand, and pulled Tai into the elevator.

"Let's go!"

When they reached the third floor bathroom, Matt pushed the 'Out of Order' sign out of the way and then pushed Tai inside, locking the door behind him.

"Oh Matt, you're so forceful!" Tai giggled.

Matt lifted Tai up and sat him down on the counter. Sitting up on the counter, Tai was the same height as Matt, just the right height in fact.

"Wouldn't it be funny if the people walking around outside heard us in here?" Matt said while preceding to take off Tai's jacket.

"Matt, you're pure evil."

"Hey so are you, this was your idea Tai."

Tai let Matt pull his shirt off over his big fluffy hair. Matt tossed the shirt absentmindedly aside and kissed Tai's stomach.

"Mmm... Tai you've eaten so much ice cream you're starting to taste sweet."

"I'm glad you think so, I love it when you kiss my stomach" 

"And I love doing it"

Matt leaned up a bit and began pulling Tai's pants off him. He was a bit shocked when he saw what Tai had on underneath.

"Tai! You're wearing boxers!"

"Well you said boxers were easier to get into."

Matt smiled and kissed Tai's stomach again. "You are such an angel."

He pulled Tai's pants down around his knees and took off his own jacket and shirt, until he had only his black tank top on. Matt unbuckled his belt and wrapped it around Tai, pulling him closer with it.

"Are you ready?"

"I've been ready for a week Yama."

Matt pulled Tai close to him and removed his own pants and underwear, along with Tai's. He ran his fingers down Tai's back and kissed his tan skin. Tai closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Matt. He rubbed his face against Matt's silky hair.

Matt pulled Tai even closer until their bodies were touching. He kissed his neck and shoulder and rubbed his hands up and down Tai's back. Tai held tightly onto Matt and anxiously waited for him to move in, but for some reason, he didn't.

"Come on Matt, I don't think I can wait anymore!"

Matt's breaths became short and uneven. Suddenly all he could think about was what had happened, about that night, about what he had done. He could almost feel a knife stabbing through his heart and breaking it. He began to hate himself so much. He wished he could jump out of his own body and fight with his other self. Make his bones break and make him bleed, make him suffer for what he had done. 

Matt imagined battling with his other self right there in the Out of Order men's bathroom behind the movie theater and killing him, then standing victoriously over the dead body and laughing in triumph. The nightmare would finally be destroyed, but that could never happen.

"Tai, I can't, I'm sorry."

Tai leaned back with his eyes wide open and his mouth turned down into a frown. Matt looked awful, like he had a terrible headache that wouldn't go away.

"Matt what's wrong with you? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm fine. Maybe some other time Tai, I just don't feel up to it right now."

Matt pulled Tai off the counter and set him down on the floor. He handed Tai his clothes and began putting his own back on.

"Do you want to go home Yama?"

Matt fastened his belt buckle and nodded. "Yeah."

Tai held Matt's hand the whole way home and didn't take his eyes off him for a moment. He walked him to his apartment building and up the stairs into apartment 202. Matt's father wasn't home, he had gone to work since they had left for the mall.

Tai led Matt into his room and made him get into bed and tucked his blankets around him like a little child. Tai sat down on the bed next to Matt and gently brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Do you want me to stay, Yama?"

Matt didn't say anything but nodded, and lifted the blankets up next to him. Tai smiled and slid under the covers.

"Yama, tell me what's wrong." He pulled the blankets around them tighter and snuggled up against Matt.

"It's just...stuff."

"Always with you and the stuff, Matt. It's the same with TK, whenever something's bothering you it all becomes 'stuff'"

"Just forget it Tai, it's nothing important." Matt put his arms around Tai and pulled him to his chest. "Just be with me right now, ok?"

"Ok."

They both closed their eyes and huddled against each other. Matt kissed Tai on the forehead and sighed, and they fell asleep together.

  
  


"Matt! Are you here?" Several hours had passed, and Mr. Ishida had just arrived home from work. He took his shoes off and put on a pair of blue-green slippers.

Matt opened one eye sleepily and groaned. Tai was still sleeping next to him, snoring loudly.

"Matt! Where are you?"

"Oh shit.... Tai!" Matt hissed and shook Tai. "Tai wake up right now!"

"But mommy...it's Saturday, lemme sleep...."

Matt lifted up Tai's shirt and pressed his bare feet against his stomach, which he knew very well were ice cold.

"AIIE!!" Tai screamed and fell out of the bed and landed on the floor in an ungraceful heap. "What are you doing!?"

"My dad is home! Do you know what he would do if he walked in and found us in bed together!?"

"But we were just sleeping." Tai yawned and stretched his arms out over his head.

"Yeah but he doesn't know that."

"Doesn't know what?" Matt's dad was leaning against the door frame looking down at them.

"Uh nothing!" Matt scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Hi Mr. Ishida!" Tai said from the floor.

"Hey Tai, glad to see you two are getting along again." He turned his back and walked out into the hallway.

"What's he talking about Matt?"

"I guess he thinks we had a fight or something."

"Oh, because you wouldn't talk to me before?" Tai climbed back into the bed and sat himself down in Matt's lap.

"Yeah..." Matt said quietly.

Tai leaned closer with one arm around Matt's shoulder and his head resting on the other shoulder. He slid his hand down between them and began massaging Matt's crotch.

"Nng...Tai what are you doing?" Even through the material of his pants and boxers it still felt incredibly good.

"Matt, I'm really horny." Tai whispered.

"Tai! Not with my dad here you idiot!" Matt growled in Tai's ear, and pushed him away.

"Maaaaaattt!!!" Tai whined in an incredibly pathetic voice.

"Zip it!" Matt said in an incredibly pissed off voice.

"Fine be that way. You're such a bitch, Matt." Tai stood up and marched off into the kitchen to steal some food from the Ishida's refrigerator.

"Ugh..." Matt let himself fall back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. "I hate this, everything just sucks." He picked up his acoustic from the side of his bed but was so agitated he couldn't even play. He carelessly dropped it on the floor, not even caring if it became damaged in the process. He put his hands on the sides of his heads and couldn't stop himself from crying anymore.

"Damn it."


	6. The Loneliest Number

Chapter Six- The Loneliest Number

Matt sat in the bathroom on the floor during a period of temporary insanity. He was ripping apart one of his father's razors in an attempt to get the blade out. A mirror had been set down on the floor and he stared into it.

"I hate you. Look at those eyes. Your eyes can be so cruel..." Matt spoke softly to his reflection and yanked the blade out of the razor. He stood up and leaned over the bathroom sink.

The metal cut into the skin on his arm like a tiny knife, slicing it open. Barely enough to hurt, but enough to make it bleed. He sliced his skin again, a bit harder this time, and blood oozed out of the two wounds. The third slice was the last and the hardest, he did it quicker than before to create a deep but even cut.

Again, there was a mirror in front of him. The young man he had been looking at in every mirror he saw lately seemed less and less like someone he knew and more and more like a terrible stranger. This stranger was his worst enemy, he hated him, he hated himself.

"Your eyes can be so cruel...." Matt even began to feel sorry for himself for hating to look in the eyes he had been told were beautiful by so many people. His blue eyes, that once sparkled in the sunlight but were now crying in darkness.

He ran water over his arm to wash the blood off and kept it under the stream coming out of the faucet. More blood kept coming, but the wounds slowly started to seal up. In a few minutes he dried off the cuts which had finally stopped bleeding. He wrapped a bandage around his arm and pulled his sleeve back down to cover it up.

For some reason he felt very satisfied with himself. In his bedroom the clock read 1:00. He sat down on his bed in his pitch black room and thought. Time passed, it felt like minutes but had actually been close to an hour.

The clock read 2:00 as Matt slipped his shoes and coat on and quietly closed the door behind him and went outside into the night.

Tai was currently in his own bed, sound asleep. Meeko was curled up on his legs, managing to ignore Tai's ever present snoring. Her ear perked up when she heard a soft click and the sound of someone moving around outside Tai's bedroom. She was wide awake now, facing towards the bedroom door with the hair on her back standing on end. She hissed loudly at the intruder who stepped into the room.

"Shh... Meeko, it's just me."

Meeko continued hissing and then darted out of the room.

"Heh, I guess she knew it was me. I wonder why all cats hate me?" He smiled to himself.

He moved over and looked down at Tai, sleeping soundly. He stepped over him and lied down on the other side of the bed. He slid his arms around Tai, but in the process woke him up.

Tai shot up in bed. "What's going on!?" He said in a frightened whisper.

"Tai, settle down, it's just me."

"Matt? What are you doing here, it's two o'clock in the morning! How did you get in?"

"Through the front door, where else? I used the key you gave me."

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

He laid back down in bed and Matt rested his head on Tai's chest. 

"You're crazy."

"Mmmhmm...."

Tai twirled a piece of Matt's hair around his finger and stared blankly ahead.

"Matt, do you really love me?"

Matt sat up a little so he was leaning over Tai and looked down at him.

"Of course I do. I love you more than anything. I love you more than the moon and the stars and the whole universe put together." Matt brushed Tai's messy hair out of his eyes and off his forehead. "What about you, how much do you love me?"

"I love you more than a million ice cream cones and a billion cupcakes. I love you more than every piece of pizza and every riceball and every sushi roll all mashed up into one giant lunch!"

"Tai do you ever think about anything besides food?"

"One other thing."

"Yeah, like what?"

"You."

Matt leaned down and pressed his lips against Tai's. They kissed a kiss so loving, not passionate, just with their lips locked and filled with love and they kept kissing as if they would both die if they stopped. Matt moved on top of Tai without taking his lips away.

Matt cried for probably the hundredth time since he had returned home because he loved Tai so much, and they still kept kissing. And Tai cried because Matt was crying and he knew his best friend was going through some kind of pain that he couldn't understand, and they still kept kissing.

At last Matt lifted his lips away from Tai's. Neither of them said anything, nothing needed to be said. Matt rolled off of Tai and closed his eyes. He pulled the blankets up higher around them, and they both drifted off to sleep together for the second time that day. They didn't care what the morning might bring, as long as they were together.


	7. Unforgettable

Chapter Seven- Unforgettable

  
  


"Uh oh...." Kari stood in Tai's doorway the next morning and bit her bottom lip. Matt and Tai were lying in Tai's bed asleep in each other's arms. They looked so peaceful, she could hardly bear waking them up.

"Tai, Matt wake up. Mom and Dad are going to see you."

Matt pulled Tai closer to him while still asleep, and Tai just snored. Kari bent over and shook the two of them.

"Go away TK..." Matt mumbled. "Make your own breakfast."

Kari sighed in frustration and pondered what to do. She then reached down and yanked on Matt's hair.

"OW!!" Matt screamed and sat up in bed. This also awoke Tai and he sat up slowly, rubbing the side of his head.

"What's goin on?" He said, not fully realizing what was happening.

"Tai, mom and dad are going to be up any---"

"Oh my!" Kari turned when she heard a coffee cup smashing to the floor and her mother standing in the doorway.

"Minute...." Kari sighed again.

Tai looked at his mother, then looked at Matt. Matt's eyes were opened so wide they looked like they were about to pop out of his head.

"Uh, Mom, I can explain!!" Tai said frantically.

To make matters worse, Tai's father had heard the cup smashing to the floor and hurried over to the door.

"Honey what's going....on?" Tai's father's facial expression now matched his mother's.

"Maybe I should leave." Kari said nervously, and hurried out of the room, sliding past her parents.

"Son...what is Matt doing in your bed?" Mr. Kamiya said.

Tai could feel himself start to sweat like he was under an interrogation light. "Well...I guess you might as well know."

His mother and father stepped into the room now, and Matt inched himself away from Tai.

"Tai, is there something you'd like to tell us?" his mother asked.

"Please don't be mad Mrs. Kamiya!" Matt jumped into the conversation. "I came over here last night without permission, I'm really sorry."

"If you wanted to sleep over, Matt, you could have just asked." Mr. Kamiya said.

"Dad, it's..." Tai halted for a second. "More than that." Tai took a deep breath and gathered himself. "Mom, dad, Matt is my boyfriend."

Tai looked up and waited for their response. They didn't look angry at all, just confused, very confused. After what seemed like an eternity with no one saying anything, Tai's father finally spoke.

"You're...gay?"

"Uh huh."

"We've been together for almost a year Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya." Matt put his arm around Tai, kind of confirming the fact that they were finally telling the truth.

"Are you...mad?" Tai asked.

Tai's mother knelt down in front of the bed and put her hands on his.

"Of course we're not mad. You are our only son and we'll always love you."

"You could have told us anytime, son" his father added.

"Momma...." Tai leaned over and hugged his mother and she hugged him back. Matt just leaned back and smiled. He was so relieved, one less thing he had to trouble his already troubled soul with.

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before, I didn't think you'd understand." Tai said while still hugging his mother.

Tai's father reached out and shook Matt's hand. "Put'er there, son!" 

"Don't I get a cigar or something?" Matt burst out laughing, everyone did. Matt laughed for the first time in quite a while, and for a moment, just a fraction of a second, he was actually happy.

  
  


"What did your dad say?"

"He said he's going to be right over."

"Well did you tell him?"

"No, I'm not going to tell him over the phone. I just said I needed him to come over here and get me and I had something important to say."

"Ok, how long do you think it'll take him to get here?"

"A few minutes....Tai I'm so nervous."

"Don't worry about it, my parents understood everything I'm sure your dad will!"

"I don't know...I just...."

"Come on Yama don't worry."

Matt sighed and poked at his scrambled eggs.

"Tai, does your family always eat nothing but eggs?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Oh yeah, thanks for making breakfast for us Matt, nobody here cooks that well. I think this is the best breakfast I've had in a long time!"

After Matt and Tai had finally revealed their secret relationship to Tai's parents, everyone had gotten up and Matt made breakfast for the Kamiya family. Tai had already finished gobbling down his eggs, bacon, sausages, toast, and juice. It was amazing but Tai's parents seemed to be in an exceptionally and honestly cheerful mood. They had no problem with Matt and Tai's relationship at all.

He had just gotten off the phone with his father and sat back down at the breakfast table. He asked him to come over and pick him up, so he and Tai could tell him how they felt for each other with everyone there.

Matt ate his food slowly, worrying about his own father's reaction. He hoped so much that he would be happy for him, but he knew what his father's real response would be. He wondered if he should even bother telling him at all.

"Here comes the airplane!" 

"Huh?" Matt snapped back into reality and realized that Tai was holding a sausage up in front of his face on a fork.

"Eat up, Matt! It's really good, I mean, you cooked it!"

"I'm not very hungry Tai."

Matt reached up and pushed Tai's arm away from him. Even with four other people around him, he felt so alone, like he was the very last person on the face of the earth. Sometimes, one feels most alone in a crowded room.

Matt's father arrived about 30 minutes later. Tai waited in front of the door with anticipation and Matt stood nervously by his side. The door to the apartment opened up, and there was a figure of a man both familiar and a total stranger to Matt. A few moments seemed to last like hours, Matt looked at his father, and he looked back, burning a hole right through Matt's already tainted blue eyes.

It was like he already knew what was coming and the anger was building up inside him like a fire that someone keeps adding more wood to.

"Well Matt, are you gonna say something?" Tai said, nudging him in the side.

"There was something you wanted to tell me, Matt?" his voice was calm but there was an underlying hostility.

Matt took a deep breath and clenched his fists. He knew this was the moment that could make or break the rest of his life.

"Dad, last night I snuck over to Tai's house, so...I'm sorry about that. And I also have a confession to make. We already let Tai's parents know, and we feel it's time that you knew too."

Matt had been staring at the floor but he now turned his focus to his father's face. The same face that had raised him, but also the same face that had stared down at him the night his life had begun to unravel.

"Dad, Tai is my boyfriend."

Mr. Ishida still managed to appear calm, but Matt could see he had just snapped. It was easy to predict what would happen up to this point, but Matt had no idea what his father would do next. He took a step back, almost in fear of his father actually striking him. He grabbed Tai's arm as well, ready to pull him away as quickly as possible if Mr. Ishida decided to take his anger out on Tai.

"Matt, go get in the car."

"What?"

"I said go get in the car, now."

Matt flashed Tai a look of despair. 

"But--" was all Tai managed to say in response.

Matt walked by his father and headed downstairs. 

"Goodbye Tai." Mr. Ishida said, and slammed the door behind him.

The car rolled slowly down the street and reached a traffic jam at a red light. Matt and his father had ridden in silence since they had left Tai's apartment.

"Dad, are you going to say anything at all?"

Matt's father gripped the steering wheel so tightly the vein on his hand was starting to pop out. He stared ahead intently and Matt could tell he was gritting his teeth. At last, he spoke.

"Matt, you are not allowed to see Tai anymore."

"What!?" Matt's eyes opened wide. He could barely believe the words that had just been spoken to him. He stared at his father in astonishment. "What are you talking about?"

"You're not allowed to see Tai ever again." 

Matt's astonished facial expression changed to anger and his eyes overflowed with tears. Hadn't he already ruined his life enough? Now he was trying to take away the only thing that could make him happy!?

"I HATE YOU!" Matt screamed. He pulled the handle on the door and then kicked it open.

"Matt! Where are you going!? Get back here!" His father yelled, and tried to grab onto Matt's shirt to keep him in the car. Matt batted his hand away and hopped out of the car. Before his father could do anything, Matt had taken off down the street. The car was surrounded by traffic on all sides, allowing Matt to escape his tormentor.

"Where the hell am I supposed to go? I can't go to Tai's, he'll find me there. I have no place to go...I don't belong anywhere."

Matt walked down the street in kind of a daze. It was freezing cold outside and had begun to snow, but he had no coat or gloves on. He wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. 

He stumbled along, occasionally bumping into people and getting dirty looks, but he didn't care. 

"Maybe I'll get lucky and a car will drive up onto the sidewalk and hit me..." He said to himself. "Or maybe I should just walk out into the traffic and end it myself."

He reached up and wiped the tears out of his eye and rubbed the side of his head. His cheeks where a deep red from the bitter cold, his nose was running, and his wind blown hair was a complete mess. It was wet from the snow and sticking to the sides of his face. His hands were numb and his legs were weak.

The buildings surrounding him were unfamiliar, he had no idea where he was. When he jumped out of the car earlier, he had just started to run. He ran as far away as he could and didn't turn back, but now he was lost, freezing, and alone.

"Matt!"

He heard a voice calling out to him from somewhere, it sounded like it was coming from behind. For a minute he ignored the voice, thinking he had only imagined it.

"Matt!!"

He felt a hand grab his arm. Matt slowly turned his head to see Kari standing next to him.

"Matt, I'm so glad I found you, everyone is looking all over the city for you."

Matt looked back down at the sidewalk. "Why bother?" He sighed.

Kari took off her coat and wrapped it around his shoulders. "We got a phone call from your dad a little while after you left saying you had run away. He sounded really angry, Matt, what happened?"

"It doesn't matter."

Kari frowned, she didn't know what to do or what to say to him. She had never seen anyone with such a look of hopelessness across their face. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed a number.

"Tai? I found Matt, yes he's ok. I'll meet you back at the house. Let Izzy and Sora know they can stop looking too. Ok. Alright Tai." She turned the phone off, terminating the connection and slipped it back into her pocket.

"Come on Matt, let's go home." She placed her hand on his shoulder and began walking with him back to the Kamiya's apartment building.

  
  


Matt was sitting on the sofa looking at, but not drinking, a cup of hot tea, when Tai burst through the front door.

"Yami!!" Tai didn't even take the time to remove his shoes before climbing onto the couch and wrapping his arms around Matt. "I was so worried about you!" Tai smothered Matt in kisses, but it was like Matt didn't even realize Tai was there.

"Yami? Hey what's wrong? Tell me what happened."

How ironic, Tai's pet name for him meant darkness.

Matt glanced up at Tai with empty eyes, completely hallow. Tai waited a moment, but didn't really expect Matt to say anything. He never said much about his feelings, he just kept it all inside, behind a locked door that no one could reach. Tai wanted to help Matt, to understand the pain he was going through, but he could not find the key.

Tai ran a hand through Matt's hair and got up off the sofa. He walked to the door to remove his snow covered coat and shoes. Matt was left alone with himself once again.

This whole time, Matt and the shape of Matt had been fighting inside his head. It was an ongoing battle and at times he was nearly torn apart by it. Part of him was trying to forget what he had done, but the other part was trying to punish him for it. Sometimes, it seemed like that night at the cabin hadn't even been real, just like that night when it all began so many years before. Just when he was starting to drift away, something snapped again and he was back there, reliving the whole thing. He had committed a sin so terrible he simply hated himself. He didn't want to put it into words, and hoped he never would.

A decision was made that Matt should stay with the Kamiya family for his own safety. Tai's parents felt that Matt's father was unstable and might lose control if something went wrong, and in Matt's present condition, they weren't sure he'd be able to protect himself.

At night, when Tai went to bed, he always checked the living room couch to make sure Matt was safely lying there. He then went into his own bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering what was going through Matt's find that was torturing him so, and wondering,

"Why does he always leave me in the dark?"

Sometimes, darkness is ones only companion.


	8. The Sudden Reversal

Chapter Eight- The Sudden Reversal

  
  
  
  


Dear TK,

Why haven't you been in school lately TK? I miss you. I hope you're feeling alright. I don't think your brother is doing too well. You probably already know he's been staying with us. 

The other day, Tai and Matt went to your dad's apartment to pick up a few of Matt's things, but the place was a total disaster area. It looked like someone had taken a jackhammer to the room and destroyed everything in sight. Tai told me it didn't look like anyone had been living there for a while either. I guess your dad is staying somewhere else for now, I hope he's ok.

TK, did you and Matt have a fight? I haven't heard anything from you since you came back from your trip, and Matt has been so depressed lately. He barely eats or says anything, he won't play his guitar or sing at all. Please tell me what happened between you to. You told me you care for me TK, and I care for you too. I want to make sure you're alright.

Please write back soon.

Love,

Hikari-chan

  
  
  
  


"TK? Are you in there?"

"Yeah mom."

Nancy Takaishi slowly pushed open the door to TK's room. In the past weeks, TK had refused to go to school or make any contact with anyone but her. He seemed especially hesitant to speak to his brother, whom he usually called or visited once or twice a week.

Nancy tried to talk about what was bothering him, but he always changed the subject. Now she was even more worried, when she had found a crumpled up letter addressed to TK lying in the wastebasket.

"TK, why did you throw this letter from Kari away? Did you two get in an argument? Is that why you won't go to school?"

TK had been playing something on his Gameboy, but now stopped, and glanced up at his mother.

"No."

"TK," she sat down on the bed next to him. "Why won't you tell me what's troubling you, I love you and Matt so much and I'm really worried about you." Her blue eyes stared into his and she ran her hand over his hair.

"Just...forget about it. I have some homework to make up anyway." TK got up and then sat down at his desk, leaving his mother sitting on the bed.

She sighed, knowing very well how distant her sons could be sometimes.

"If you need to talk about anything, I'm here, ok TK?"

TK nodded and Nancy quietly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

  
  


When Tai arrived home from school, Matt was sitting on the couch wearing slacks and a black sweater. He looked like he had been crying, although he usually did. He hadn't been to school in weeks, all he did was sit in Tai's apartment. Tai hadn't a clue what he could possibly be doing all day while everyone else was gone.

"Hey Yama, how are you feeling?"

Matt shrugged and stared out the window at the new fallen snow. It was now March, but snow was still falling due to the unusual cold. He had his elbows resting on his legs and his hands were folded in front of his mouth, almost in a position of prayer.

Tai sighed and tried to think up some casual conversation.

"It seems really cold these days, like maybe spring isn't coming this year or something."

Matt didn't say anything in response.

"Doesn't it seem extra cold to you?" Tai asked, trying to get this stone statue of Matt to say something.

Matt only took a deep breath and continued staring ahead. It seemed like he was staring at something far off that Tai couldn't see, as if his mind was in a different place.

Tai sort of twitched his nose and watched Matt stare for a few minutes.

"I'm not wearing any underwear..."

Matt's hands stayed in the same position but his head slowly turned to face Tai. His eyes were open a bit wider then they had been, he was definitely interested.

"Well that got your attention."

"Are you really not wearing any underwear?"

"I lied, I am." Tai stopped for a second. "Wanna see?"

Tai wasn't sure but he thought he heard a light chuckle escape from Matt's throat.

"Whatever you want, beautiful."

"Now that's my Matt!" Tai giggled.

Tai allowed Matt to slip his hands down the pants of his school uniform and touch him all over. Matt actually began to feel comfortable again, he had missed playing with Tai like this. He had been so lost for the past few weeks, maybe he was actually finding himself again. He pushed all thoughts of TK and his father from his mind and concentrated on the feel of Tai's soft skin and underwear under his hands.

Matt pushed Tai gently forward until he was lying down on the couch. Tai twirled Matt's silky hair around his fingers and smiled up at him. Matt pushed Tai's green jacket out of the way and began unbuttoning his shirt.

And now, Matt made a mistake. By unbuttoning Tai's shirt, he had invited Tai to take off his own. Matt had momentarily forgotten what his sweater had been hiding, and didn't realize what was happening until the sweater was already pulled off over his head.

"Matt!"

Matt sat up quickly, allowing Tai to sit up as well. Tai's playful mood suddenly vanished and he grabbed Matt's wrist. He yanked Matt's arm towards him and stared at him.

"Yamato, have you been cutting yourself!?"

Matt bit his bottom lip and looked down at the blood stained bandages wrapped around his arms. Now Tai realized what Matt did alone in the house all day. The blood on the bandages was still wet and red.

"What the hell is wrong with you!? What if you bled to death while no one was here to help you, huh!? What were you thinking!?"

"Tai... you're hurting me."

Tai quickly let go of Matt's wrist. He didn't even notice how tightly he had been holding him. There were purple marks on Matt's skin where Tai's hand had been.

"I...I'm sorry."

Next came a moment of tense silence. Matt looked down at his own arm in horror, like it was just as much of surprise to him as it was to Tai.

"Matt, why did you do this to yourself?"

"I...don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know!? You did it, you must know why!" Tai's voice was raising again, he could barely contain his anger.

"I don't know." Matt repeated.

Tai grabbed Matt's shoulders and shook him violently. Matt put up no resistance and Tai began screaming in his face.

"I don't want you to do this to yourself again, ever! Understand me!?"

Matt didn't answer and began crying. Tai pushed his back against the couch and moved closer to him until they were eye to eye.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME YAMATO!?"

Matt made a tiny whimpering sound and turned his face away from Tai.

Tai grabbed hold of Matt's face and roughly turned it back towards his own.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF YAMATO!? WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU!?"

Matt's eyes now overflowed and tears rolled down his cheeks, and ran over Tai's hand, until they reached their resting place on Matt's bare chest.

"I...can't tell you." He seemed to be straining to get every word out.

"Why!? Why can't you tell me!? I love you Yamato! You can tell me anything!"

"No!" Until now, Matt had been putting up no resistance, but he was actually much stronger than Tai and pushed him to the floor. "I can't! I can't tell you!!"

Matt rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind him before Tai could get there.

He could hear Tai pounding on the door, but his voice sounded far away.

"Let me in there Yamato! Don't you dare do anything to hurt yourself! UNLOCK THE DOOR NOW!"

Matt pulled open the door to the medicine cabinet, spilling half of the contents on the floor. He fumbled through pill bottles and toothbrushes until he finally found a razor.

"What are you doing Yamato!? OPEN THE DOOR!"

Matt wiped tears from his clouded eyes and pulled the blade from the razor head, cutting his thumb in the process. He clenched his teeth together and slowly dragged the blade down his arm, from his elbow all the way to his wrist. A cut slowly opened up and began seeping out blood.

His head was pounding and his heart was beating so loudly he was sure the whole world could hear it. The sound of his own heart drowned out the loud cracking of the door lock breaking through the frame. Tai had slammed into the door until it finally gave way and burst open.

"YAMATO!" Tai grabbed Matt's uncut arm and tore the blade away from him. He threw it on the floor in disgust. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Tai..." Matt didn't even seem to know what he was doing, how could he tell Tai?

Matt's blood was dripping off his fingertips onto the floor.

"Oh god Matt, oh my god." Tai turned the faucet on and brought Matt over to the sink. "Oh god...we have to get you cleaned up. What have you done Matt? Oh my god..." he kept repeating himself over and over, he couldn't think of any better descriptive words. He gently caressed Matt's arm and ran the water over his milky white skin. Eventually the blood stopped flowing and Tai dabbed Matt's arm dry with a towel. He wrapped a fresh bandage around the wounds, being careful not to open up the cuts that were already there before. Matt watched silently as Tai tended to his arm.

When he was finished, Tai picked Matt up and carried him into his bedroom. Tai sat him down on the bed and found a clean shirt.

"I don't know how I'm going to explain to mom and dad how the bathroom got trashed." Tai sighed and helped Matt slip the brown shirt over his head. He sat down on the bed next to him and let Matt lean his head on his shoulder. Tai softly kissed Matt's head and rubbed his back.

"I don't know what to do, Yamato. I thought you were supposed to take care of me, not the other way around." Tai sighed once again. "I wish you would tell me what's going on."

"Are you mad at me Tai?"

"No, I'm not mad anymore. I'm just afraid you're going to end up killing yourself."

Matt grabbed into Tai's shirt and rubbed his face against Tai's shoulder. Tai pulled Matt closer to him and held him tight.

"I love you, Yama."

"Take care of me Tai-kun..."

"I will."


	9. Within You

Chapter Nine- Within You

  
  
  
  


"Do you have any fours?"

"Go fish."

"Argh, I think all this pressure is giving me a rash, I fold."

"Joe! You can't fold in Go Fish!"

Joe and Izzy had come over to Tai's apartment for the evening to hang out. They sat on the floor surrounded by playing cards, sodas, and bags of chips and popcorn. Matt was in Tai's lap and every so often whispered what cards he had "accidentally" seen in Izzy or Joe's hands.

Tai had his arm around Matt's waist and held him tight.

"I think you're cheating Tai," Izzy said, peeking over his cards.

"Cheating!? Me!? You know I'd never do that Izzy." Tai and Matt smiled at each other and tried to contain their giggling.

"Can't we play a different game?" Joe whined. "I brought Othello!"

"What the heck is Othello, Joe?" Tai asked and stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"You know that game with the chips that are black on one side and white on the other, the point is to try and get as many of your color on the board as possible."

"Sounds boring," Tai said, and burped.

"Ugh, what a barbarian," Matt rolled his eyes.

"Maybe you're just not intellectual enough to play Tai," Izzy teased.

"Can't you just say smart like every normal person in the world does?"

"Heh, sorry wittle Tai, we won't use big words around you anymore!" Matt snickered and started poking Tai in the cheek.

In the past, Tai would have responded to Matt's comment with a friendly punch in the gut, but decided not to. Matt seemed to be a lot more cheerful lately, he was returning to his old self. Tai didn't want to do anything to ruin his boyfriend's good mood.

Instead of punching him, Tai gathered Matt up further into his lap and kissed his cheek.

"Ugh, choke me with a utensil."

"That's gag me with a spoon, Izzy."

Tai now preceded to push Matt off his lap and attack Izzy. Tai pounced on him and started beating him over the head with a pillow.

"Jeez Tai, get a room, will you?" Matt smiled.

"Oh shut up Yama!" Tai turned towards Matt and tossed the pillow at his head. Matt blocked with his arm and deflected the pillow into a bowl of corn chips, spilling the contents all over the carpet.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YAMATO!" Tai giggled.

"Pay for what!?"

"NO WASTING FOOD!" 

Before Matt could respond, there was an all out pillow war raging. Joe attempted to keep out of it, but after getting hit in the face with a ham sandwich, he joined in.

Kari had been sitting at the kitchen table reading, but now heard loud crashing and laughing coming from Tai's bedroom.

"I wonder what they're doing." She set her book down on the table and walked over to the door. When she opened it up, the first thing she saw was a pillow hitting her face.

"Izzy did it!"

"Did not!"

Kari looked down at the four boys on the floor. They were all piled on top of each other looking like they were playing some kind of ultimate Twister game. There was food everywhere, soda spilled on the rug, and pillows flung all over the room.

"You do know mom is going to flip when she sees the mess you've made," Kari said, putting her hands on her hips but grinning the whole time.

"Well...uh...." Tai scratched his head for a moment trying to think of a response.

"Hey Tai, I think I know what we can do to teach her a lesson," Matt said.

Somehow, Tai knew exactly what Matt was thinking, as if they shared a telepathic bond.

"Yeah, Let's get her!"

Before Kari could make an escape, she had been grabbed by the ankle and pulled into the battle zone.

"Tickle Torture!" Matt and Tai yelled at the same time. They both began tickling Kari until she was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"Stop!!!" Kari squealed in-between giggles.

Joe and Izzy just sat back and watched, what a couple of crazy idiots Matt and Tai could be sometimes.

Matt was having so much fun he had forgotten about his misery. But as he looked down at Kari playfully yelling to stop below him, he suddenly felt something jabbing at his heart.

"Matt what are you doing!?"

Matt shot up away from Kari, and landed on his backside. His face was terror stricken and he backed away from Kari like he had just seen a ghost.

"TK!!!" Matt screamed. It was TK's voice he had heard, inside his own head. Matt put his hands on the side of his face and began screaming in agony. His eyes were frozen wide open and he couldn't control the movements of his body. He thrashed violently on the floor.

"STOP IT! YOU'RE HURTING ME! DADDY PLEASE STOP!!" the silent screams that had been building up for eight years now found a voice. Matt yelled at the top of his lungs and flailed his arms, trying to fight off an unseen attacker.

Matt had completely lost touch with reality and had no idea Tai was above him, shaking him and trying to bring him back.

"YAMA! YAMA!" Joe and Izzy were holding Matt's arms down and Tai supported his head to keep it from banging against the floor anymore.

"Taichi! What's wrong with him!?" Kari was leaning away from them and sobbing.

"I don't know, Kari!"

Tai's parents now rushed into the room to see what the commotion was.

"Oh Tai!" his mother gasped.

Matt was still screaming and convulsing. Joe, Izzy and Tai could barely subdue him. It took all of Tai strength to keep Matt from flinging his head back and forth and slamming it against the floor.

"Mom!! There's something wrong with him! He's having a seizure or something!"

Kari stood up and grabbed onto her father's shirt and cried into it. It frightened her to see Matt so out of control like this, he was usually so reserved and collected.

"I'll go call an ambulance Tai!" His mother hurried out of the room to the phone.

Tai's father let go of Kari and bent down to help the boys control Matt. Matt's eyes were still wide open, staring at someone who wasn't really there. His body was covered in a cold sweat.

There he was again, reliving the same night, only now it was twice as bad. Now he was at both ends, he was not only receiving but causing this pain that he felt.

"TK!!! TAKERU!!!"

"Yama!!! TK's not here! What are you talking about!? Yama answer me!!!" Tai shouted at him.

This continued for almost 20 minutes, Yamato screaming and convulsing, and Tai trying to snap him out of it. The ambulance finally arrived and had to sedate Matt. He was rushed to the emergency room, and Tai never left his side for a moment. He held onto Matt's hand tightly, afraid he might lose him.

At around midnight, the drugs Matt had been given to calm him down and put him to sleep wore off. He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at the white room around him. There was an IV hooked up to his arm, and the room was dark.

"Where am I?"

He turned to the side and saw Tai, sleeping in a chair next to the hospital bed. When Tai was asleep, Matt swore he had to be an angel. He was the most beautiful sight Matt had ever seen, an angel sent to save his soul and protect him.

"Taichi, wake up." Matt whispered.

Tai made kind of a grunting sound when Matt spoke. He shook himself out of his sleep, and suddenly remembered where he was.

"Yama! You're awake, are you ok?"

"Yeah I think so, but what happened? How did I get in the hospital?"

"You mean, you don't remember?"

Matt shook his head.

"Maybe it's better that you don't remember. You lost it, Matt. One minute you were fine but then you started flipping out."

Matt appeared rather surprised. "If that's what happened then I am glad I don't remember."

Tai leaned over and kissed Matt tenderly. He brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes and gazed down at him.

"I'm glad you're ok Matt, I wouldn't want to lose you." Tai sighed. "You're so beautiful."

Matt smiled and took Tai's hand in his. "You're much more beautiful."

Tai shook his head in protest. "No way you're definitely more beautiful than me."

"No, YOU are! Don't argue with me!" Matt snickered.

"Oh Yama...." Tai laid his head down on Matt's chest and cuddled up against him.

Matt absentmindedly ran his hand back and forth through Tai's hair and fell into a natural sleep.

"Don't ever to that to me again Yama..." Tai mumbled, and he too fell asleep.

  
  
  
  


Tai sat in his room smiling as he listened to the song emanating from the bathroom on the other side of his wall. Matt was singing in the shower, and doing it quite loudly. It had been so long since he had heard Matt sing. 

"Watashi wa ishikoro desu, watashi wa shiima desu...."

Even though the sound was muffled by the wall separating them, Matt's voice was as beautiful as ever. Tai tapped his pencil on the desk, providing percussion for Matt's wonderful shower concert. Tai pondered whether he should try to join Matt, but decided not to risk ending the music prematurely.

On the other side of the wall, Matt washed his blonde hair and let the hot water flow over the snow white skin of his naked body. He rubbed the Herbal Essences shampoo in his hair until a good lather had been worked up. The water and sweet smelling soap made him feel comfortable and safe. He almost always felt safe in Tai's house, except for certain times. These certain times were when he began to worry. He became so frightened he might lose control and do what he had done before to Tai or Kari. He dreaded the thought of hurting either of them, they were both so innocent. Innocent...just like his own little brother had been.

He rinsed off and stepped out of the shower. In front of him was the bathroom mirror, and he stared at his reflection in it.

It had been two days since he came home from the hospital, and he still had no memory of what had happened. Tai kept telling him it was better that he didn't remember, but he wanted to know. He wished he could have been painfully aware of every second, just in case something had happened in his head that could have helped his healing process.

Matt glanced down at the scars on his arm on the image looking back at him. He sometimes wondered what side of the looking glass he was really on. There he was, with no clothes covering him up, nothing hidden. Those blue eyes, the person looking back was him, but somehow it was not him. It was his other self, the shape of Matt, that he saw in every mirror he looked at.

"Your eyes can be so cruel...."

Matt shook his head and tried not to think about it.

Kari was sitting at the table doing her homework when Matt opened the bathroom door. Kari looked up and blushed slightly when she saw Matt stroll into the kitchen to the refrigerator with nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist.

"Matt, what do you think you're doing?" Tai's voice called. He was leaning against the frame of his bedroom door with one eyebrow raised.

"Getting a soda."

"Matt, why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

"I just got out of the shower, boy Tai, you think you'd be used to it by now." Matt popped open a can of soda and took a gulp.

"I don't mind seeing you waltz around the place with no clothes, but think about Kari!"

Kari had her head turned away and her cheeks were still slightly red. "It's ok Tai, besides, you do it all the time."

Tai groaned. "Yeah but that's different, I'm your brother."

Kari gathered up her books and headed towards her room. She glanced back at Matt and stifled a giggle. He was looking back at her with the most friendly but devious smile you can imagine. Kari had almost become like a little sister to him. He felt much happier knowing he still had someone younger to take care of...even if his own sibling was never able forgive him.


	10. You Are My Sunshine

Chapter Ten- You are my Sunshine

  
  
  
  


"Happy Birthday blue eyes."

Matt's eyes opened to see Tai leaning over him smiling his trademark Tai grin. Matt sat up and yawned, stretching his arms over his head.

"How does it feel to be 16?"

"About the same as it felt yesterday when I was 15," Matt replied. He leaned over and gave Tai and quick kiss and scratched his stomach like only a guy would do when they wake up. 

"So aren't you excited? It's your sweet 16."

"Not really, I was already sweet." Matt flashed Tai a smile and got up off the couch where he slept every night.

"Yaaammaa..." Tai whined. "Don't you even care?"

"It's no big deal."

"Well it is to me."

Matt turned around and hugged Tai. "I guess I'll be excited if it makes you happy."

"Good."

Then Matt pranced into the bathroom chanting, "Oh yeah! It's my birthday It's my birthday what a great day for my birthday! Woo hoo!" And he closed the door behind him.

"I've never known anybody so sarcastic," Tai groaned.

Later on, Matt was mixing the ingredients for his birthday cake in a large bowl. He stirred cocoa powder in, giving the mixture a deep, chocolatey color.

"You don't have to make your own cake, Matt. My mom said she'll make one for you."

"Yeah, a wheat germ cake with fungus and liver stick frosting, just what I always wanted."

"Well it's not my fault she can't cook." Tai dipped his finger into the bowl and scooped up some cake batter.

"Don't stick your fingers in the food!"

Tai popped his finger into his mouth and sucked off the chocolate. "You don't have to bite my head off."

"You'll contaminate it."

"Whatever you say, JOE"

"So who's coming over later?" Matt asked. He poured the batter into a cake pan and put it into the oven.

"All the older kids, Joe, Izzy, Sora. Kari'll be here of course, but uh..."

"What?"

"Your mom called and said TK can't make it. He's still sick or whatever."

Matt sighed and began washing the dishes he had used. How could he enjoy his birthday knowing what he had done, and knowing TK wasn't going to be there because of it. Even though the family had been split up for years, the boys always managed to see each other on their birthdays. He wasn't going to see his dad today either, he wondered if his father would ever come back. All Matt had now was his surrogate family, who he had come to rely on more than his real one.

That night, the Kamiya family and the older digidestined all gathered in the living room. They had just finished eating Matt's delicious birthday cake (Tai had eaten four slices) and were now ready for Matt to open his gifts.

"You guys didn't really have to get me anything you know," Matt said when he saw the boxes piled up on the coffee table.

"Of course we did Matt so open them!" Tai said. He was leaning against Matt who was sitting in the middle of the couch with Izzy on his other side. Sora had managed to squeeze in on the end of the couch next to Tai, and Joe was perched on the arm next to Izzy. Kari was seated on the floor by Izzy's feet and Tai's mother and father were in the arm chair.

"Yeah, we didn't come all this way for nothing," Joe added.

"Matt, come on and open your presents!" Sora urged.

Matt picked up a medium sized rectangular box first, with pink wrapping paper and a shiny red bow.

"That one's from me," Kari said.

Matt carefully took the paper off without ripping it at all and opened the box.

"Blue oven mitts, Kari that's so sweet. I left my other ones back at my apartment."

"I wouldn't want you to burn your hands." Matt leaned over and gave Kari a kiss on the forehead and she beamed happily.

Matt opened up Izzy's present next, still being careful not to rip any of the wrapping paper.

"Oh thanks Izzy, hair gel." Matt rolled his eyes but then laughed.

"Well I know how much you must use to keep your hair so perfect," Izzy said.

"Yeah, a gallon a day keeps the loose ends away. I think I was running low anyway."

Joe's gift was next, a cook book and a book of guitar and bass tabs.

"Cool Joe, do you know what songs are in this?"

"I think there are over a thousand songs in there."

"Wow, this should really come in handy, thanks." Matt smiled and set the books down on the table with the other gifts he had already opened.

Matt opened up Sora's gift after Joe's. It was a black sweater, and it was one of the softest things Matt had ever felt. He remembered his old sweater had been stained with his own blood from the cuts on his arm.

"Sora, this is really beautiful."

"I knitted it myself."

"You made this? That's amazing." Matt genuinely loved the sweater, and put it on right there.

"Our gift is next Matt," Mrs. Kamiya said. Mr. Kamiya dragged over an exceptionally large box to the couch covered in blue wrapping paper with a large orange bow. The box was long, at least 3 feet, but wasn't very thick. Matt had no clue what it could possibly be.

"You didn't have to get me anything Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya."

"Of course we did Matt, you're like a son to us." Tai's mother said happily.

Matt opened up the box and slid out what was inside. When he saw what the contents were he jumped up off the couch.

"A new bass! Oh my god! This is fantastic!" Matt's eyes lit up with an excitement he hadn't felt in a long time. "This is exactly the one I wanted, how did you know!?"

"A little birdy told them," Tai chimed in, smiling innocently.

He picked it up and pretended to play, kind of trying it out for size.

"Thank you so much!" He set the bass down on the coffee table and gave Tai's mother and father a huge hug.

Now there was only one gift left, Tai's. He had insisted that Matt save it for last, and he now handed Matt a tiny white box with a blue ribbon and a card taped to the top. It said simply, 'To my love'

Matt opened it up and there was another box inside. It had a rounded top and was covered in black velvet. Matt opened the lid to find a beautiful ring. The light bounced off it causing it to shimmer and gleam. Matt lifted the ring out of the box and read the inscription.

"You are my sunshine..." There was also something else written on the inside of the ring, 24K. "Tai, is this...solid gold?"

"Yeah."

Matt seemed to be speechless. He slipped it onto his middle finger and stared at it, it was a perfect fit.

"Tai...I don't know what to say."

"Say you like it."

"I love it, it's the best gift anyone has ever given me." Matt slipped his arms around Tai and pressed his lips to his. When he broke the kiss, Matt whispered in Tai's ear,

"I love you so much Taichi...."

"I love you too Matt, please don't ever leave me."

"I promise," Matt leaned back and pressed his forehead against Tai's and looked into his eyes. "I won't take...your sunshine away."

  
  


The others stayed at the Kamiya's apartment for a while and then all returned home. It was evening and Matt and Tai were sitting outside Tai's room on the terrace, looking out at the stars. Matt had his new sweater on and was holding Tai close to him, with a blanket wrapped around them both. Matt was sipping a cup of hot herbal tea.

"Hey...Matt"

"Yeah Tai?"

"I was thinking of...one other thing we could do for your birthday, but only if you want to."

"You mean...." Matt glanced down at Tai, who was looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"I kind of miss it, you know, the feeling of you touching me and everything, but I didn't want to come right out and ask. I was worried you might get mad or something."

"I'd never get mad at you."

"Well uh...do you want to?"

Matt sighed. He wasn't sure if he was ready yet, he knew he wanted to, but wasn't sure he would be able. He had missed it too, being so close to Tai, touching him in every way.

"I want to Tai, I really do."

Matt saw Tai's expression become hopeful for a moment, but then disappointed when his own face become solemn.

"But I can't...I just...can't. I'm sorry Tai."

"Yama..." Tai whimpered and cuddled up against Matt further. Matt pulled the blanket so it was completely surrounding them and kissed the top of Tai's head.

Snowflakes began to fall once again, it was so cold outside. It seemed like the world was stuck in a permanent winter, with no hope of spring ever coming.

Matt set his cup down on the terrace floor and rubbed Tai's back and shoulders, trying to keep him warm. Matt could feel Tai pressed up against his chest, rubbing his face against the soft sweater. His ring glimmered even in the moonlight.

"Mmm... You're really warm Yama."

"Funny...I don't feel warm at all," Matt thought.

"Matt, can you please tell me what's wrong?" Tai gripped onto the sweater and pressed his face further into it.

"Just don't worry about it Tai, I'm fine."

"Matt, don't let it build up inside you. I know how you are, you just let all your feelings keep building up and you'd keep doing that until it killed you if someone didn't make you tell them."

"Tai, I'm telling you, I'll be ok," Matt replied, getting slightly annoyed.

"Matt..."

"What?" he snapped back, thinking Tai was about to begin another round of arguing.

"My feet are cold."

At first Matt just didn't say anything, then he smiled, then he snickered a bit, and before he could do anything to stop himself he was laughing out loud. The sound echoed off the other apartment buildings and bounced back at him.

"What's so funny?"

"You are just too much."

Matt leaned back and began rubbing Tai's feet. The friction between his socks and his skin began to warm him up.

"You don't mind touching my smelly feet?" Tai giggled.

"They are not, your feet are adorable."

"Yours too."

Matt and Tai smirked at each other for a second and soon they were both laughing like crazy.


	11. Ultimate Ping Pong

Chapter Eleven- Ultimate Ping Pong

  
  
  
  


"Tai do you want wasabi with your lunch?" Matt said from the counter. He was putting the finishing touches on the sushi he had made for everyone to take to lunch. Fish he had prepared himself was rolled up in rice and seaweed. 

"You know I hate wasabi, it takes like wetnaps dipped in hot sauce."

Matt glanced up at Tai. Come to think of it, it did kind of taste like wetnaps, or... something. Tai said the weirdest things. Matt carefully placed the wrapped up sushi rolls in Tai and Kari's lunch boxes.

"Matt when are you coming back to school?"

"Whenever..."

Tai sighed and slumped over on the counter.

"Eat your breakfast."

"Yes mother...." Tai groaned and wolfed down the rest of his food. Since Matt had been living with them he had become kind of an assistant house wife. Alone with Mrs. Kamiya all day, he had nothing else to do. Matt cooked all the meals while she cleaned and tended to the rest of the chores. Matt's food was exceptional and everyone looked foreword to the lavish suppers he prepared.

Other than cooking all day, Matt spent the rest of his time writing music and practicing on his new bass. None of his music really lived up to his own expectations lately, it seemed he had lost his inspiration.

At night he sometimes climbed the many flights of stairs to the roof and sat outside in the bitter cold. He looked up at the moon and stars and watched the light bouncing off his ring. He wondered what TK was doing and if he would ever have the courage to face it little brother again.

"He probably won't even want to talk to me," Matt thought on those cold nights. "He probably hates me, either that or he's afraid of me."

Late at night, Matt changed into his black t-shirt and grey sweat pants that he always wore to bed. Sometimes he would take a hot bath, and sometimes he would creep into Tai's room and sit backwards in the desk chair, watching him sleep. Matt loved to watch Tai sleep, he looked like such an angel, more heavenly than anything he could imagine. He was so perfect, like heaven on earth. Matt often thought he would rather stay here with Tai forever than go to heaven any day.

Matt backed up from the counter to set Tai and Kari's lunch boxes where they could get them easily on their way out the door. When he took a step back he inadvertently stepped on Meeko's tail. She yowled loudly and streaked out of the room.

"Meeko! Argh... damn cat. Tai, I hate that cat."

"You hate all cats, Matt."

"Well tell it to keep out of the way."

"I don't think she'll listen to me."

He set the lunch boxes and sat at the counter across from Tai. He put his elbow on the counter top and leaned his head on his hand. He just sat staring at Tai and contemplated how he could have been blessed with such a perfect partner.

"What?" Tai was looking up with one eyebrow raised.

"Just thinking about how beautiful you are."

Tai sighed. Shortly after, Tai and Kari headed off to school and Matt was left alone in the house once again.

  
  


A crowd of people had gathered in the student lounge for the most amazing game of ultimate ping pong Odaiba high school had ever seen. Sora pushed through the crowd where Izzy was standing.

"How long have they been playing?" she inquired.

"They've been going at it for 2 hours and the ball hasn't stopped moving once."

"They do know they're supposed to keep the ball on the table, right?"

"I really don't think they care," Izzy answered.

Everyone's eyes shifted back and forth, watching the ball bounce wildy against the walls, ceiling, and every so often it would actually hit the ping pong table.

Matt reached up and batted the ball with his bare hand.

"You're supposed to hit it with the paddle, Matt!" Tai yelled, and returned the shot.

"So what!? You bounced it off your skinny butt before!" Matt snapped back.

Both had managed to take their green jackets off while playing but were still covered in sweat from chasing the ping pong ball all over the room. They had skipped biology and were now cutting into 7th period math class. Students that had come into the lounge to eat their lunch now congregated around the ongoing match.

After several weeks, Matt had finally decided to come back to school. During lunch, Matt and Tai were sitting in the corner of the room when Matt eyed the currently unused ping pong tables and paddles. It started out as a normal game, but both boys refused to miss returning the other's shots, even when they hit the floor. The action escalated and soon they were running all over the room, switching tables between shots, avoiding hitting the ball into people's food.

Tai dove for the ball, hitting it and causing it to ricochet off the wall back at Matt. Matt spiked it down on the table, sending it flying up into the air. It plummeted back down and Tai returned it with a behind the back shot.

"Stop trying to show off Tai!" Matt said, trying to sound annoyed, but he could not hide his happiness. He was finally coming to terms with his feelings (or at least he thought he was) and allowing himself moments of pure joy.

Matt continued smacking the ball back at Tai with one hand and started unbuttoning his shirt with the other.

"Matt, what are you doing!?"

"I'm getting really sweaty so I'm taking my shirt off." He tossed his shirt to the floor and hit the ball off the ceiling to Tai.

"You're distracting me!" Tai whined.

Matt just grinned. Tai tried as hard as he could to concentrate but was starting to slip. He kept eyeing the sweat running down Matt's pale chest, making his body glisten under the bright overhead lights. With his uniform or a sweater on, Matt looked like a stick figure, but he actually had a spectacular body hiding under his clothes. He had a trim waist and Tai was amazed how tight Matt's stomach was compared to his own. Tai often wondered how his boyfriend had such a perfect body when he never even worked out.

Matt smiled at all the giggling girls watching him play and noticed there were even a few young female teachers blushing as they watched. It was funny how almost the whole school knew Matt was dating another boy, but he remained popular and still had a few hopeful fangirls chasing after him.

"Hey Matt," Tai said as he hit the ball to Matt with a quick snap of the wrist.

"Yeah Tai?" The shot was returned, off the lighting fixture and onto the table.

"Is TK back in school?"

Matt suddenly dropped his paddle and the ball that had been in motion for over two hours now rolled to a halt in the corner of the room.

"What happened?" Sora whispered to Izzy.

"I don't know, Matt just dropped his paddle, very curious."

"Yama, what's wrong!?" Tai rushed over and placed his hands on Matt's shoulders.

Matt's eyes were opened wide in shock. After a moment, Matt looked down at Tai and smiled.

"I guess you won."

Tai glared at him and gave a disapproving look.

"Yama, why don't you just tell me what's wrong? You can tell me anything."

Matt decided instead of arguing to just ignore Tai's persistence and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Tai grumbled and watched Mat slip his shirt back on.

"I guess we should go to math class, we're gonna be in a lot of trouble!" Matt said with a grin and walked out of the crowded room nonchalantly.

Sora stepped up to Tai and lightly placed her hand on his arm.

"Tai, I'm really worried about Matt. Do you know what happened to him?"

"I don't know Sora, he won't tell me anything," Tai responded, and sighed deeply.

  
  


Late that night, Matt tossed and turned in his sleep. His eyelids fluttered wildy as he dreamed.

He was walking down a path lined with pastel flowers of red and yellow. The over hanging sakura branches cast a shadow on the ground with only small patches of sunlight peeking through.

"Hey Matt!" He looked up to see TK running down the sidewalk towards him. He was wearing his normal yellow and green t-shirt and had his bucket hat on, as usual.

Matt was about to respond when TK stepped up and kissed him. TK's arms wrapped around him and Matt could feel TK's tongue probing into his mouth,

He pushed his brother away, startled.

"TK! What are you doing!?"

"Don't you love me Matt?"

Suddenly Matt began to forget he was dreaming and strange feelings started to overcome him. But it didn't feel strange at all, it felt so natural. He stopped trying to fight and simply accepted these urges he was feeling. He placed his hand on the side of TK's face and they kissed again. He ran his fingers through TK's fluffy blonde hair and started touching him in places he knew he shouldn't. TK didn't mind at all though, in fact, he seemed to be enjoying it.

Just the he looked up at Matt and gave him a look few people had ever seen on his face. His eyelids lowered a bit and he smiled. He looked so calm, but it was like something evil was controlling him.

"You know you want me, Matt."

Matt woke up with a start, breathing heavily and covered with a cold sweat. He felt so dirty and ashamed for dreaming such a thing that he went into the bathroom and showered. Hopefully the water could wash this nightmare away.

But the thoughts did not go away. He sat in the shower letting the water flow over him for hours, but he could not shake the thoughts from his mind.

"What a wicked thing to do...to make me dream of you..." Matt closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with the water still running.


	12. Four Seasons

Chapter Twelve- Four Seasons

  
  
  
  


Tai walked out of his bedroom the next morning fairly early to get a before breakfast snack. It was Saturday so his family members were all still in bed. Tai's hair was messier than usual not having been brushed yet and he was still in his underwear, which he had worn to bed the night before.

Tai yawned and entered the kitchen, but then noticed Matt was not sleeping on the couch where he usually was. He then heard the sound of the shower running and moved over to the bathroom door. It seemed odd that Matt would be taking a shower so early in the morning.

Tai opened up the bathroom door and stepped inside. He saw Matt's outline through the semi transparent shower door, but he was sitting down. Tai opened the shower door a crack and peeked in. Matt was sitting on the floor, with his head resting on his knees, fast asleep.

Tai took his t-shirt off so he could lean in and wake Matt up. When he bent over though, he screamed and back away. The spray of water that had hit his back was freezing cold! Tai quickly shut off the water and shook Matt awake.

"Matt! Hey wake up!"

Matt opened one eye and glanced up at Tai. "Tai...? What are you doing?"

"Matt, you're lucky I found you in here before anyone else. Hey, what are you doing sleeping in an ice cold shower anyway?" Tai was now kneeling down on the floor next to Matt in only his boxers.

"I had a nightmare...." Matt sighed.

"Hey, if you had a bad dream why didn't you come in and sleep with me, huh?" Tai smiled and moved some of Matt's wet hair out of his eyes.

"I...didn't want to wake you." He turned his gaze away from Tai.

Tai stood up and held his hand out to Matt. Matt looked up again, he didn't want to move at all. He sighed once more and decided to accept Tai's offer to help him up. He grabbed it and pulled himself up until he was standing facing his partner.

"Hey Matt...since we're both in here, want to take a nice hot shower?" Tai grinned.

Matt raised an eyebrow, then smiled a tiny bit. Somehow, Tai had this way of making you forget about your problems, and making everything ok, even if it was only temporary. 

"Sure," he said. Matt turned the hot water on and adjusted it until the temperature was just right. When he turned around again, Tai had taken his underwear off and was looking at him sweetly. He gave Tai a kiss on the forehead and slipped his arms around Tai's now wet body.

He poured shampoo in Tai's mass of fluffy brown hair and ran his fingers through it. Tai had put liquid soap in the palms of his hands and was running them all over Matt's body. Then Matt took the removable shower head in his hand and started spraying Tai's hair with it. He snickered and sprayed the water on Tai's stomach.

"Hey Matt, that tickles!" Tai giggled. Matt moved behind Tai and started spraying the water a bit lower. Tai moaned, the jet of water hitting him sent chills up his back. Matt had managed to find some kind of pressure point on his body. It was one of the best feelings he had ever felt. Tai was trembling now,

"Don't stop Matt..." Matt moved the shower head closer and Tai moaned louder.

Suddenly Matt gasped, "What am I doing!?"

Tai stopped moaning and opened his eyes. The spray of water had gone away, and Matt's arms were no longer around him. He turned to see Matt huddled up in the corner of the shower shaking. For some reason, every time he tried to satisfy Tai, he felt like he was taking advantage of him. Even though he knew how much Tai wanted it, he still felt like as though he was violating him.

"Matt...what's wrong now?" Tai bent down next to him and rubbing his back, trying to calm Matt's sobs.

"It's my fault Tai...I did it. Oh God...what have I done?" 

"Matt, what did you do, what happened!?"

"I always promised that even if I failed at everything else, I'd never stop fulfilling my duties as a brother, but now I can't even do that."

"Did something happen with TK? Matt, please tell me, maybe if you tell me what's wrong with you I can help."

"I can't...."

  
  


That night Matt had another dream. He was back in the same place as last night, standing on the sidewalk with the sun shining and the multicolored flowers all around him.

"Great, I'm back here again..."

Then Matt heard a familiar voice calling out to him, but it wasn't TK's this time.

"Matt!"

"Gabumon?" Matt turned his head, and there was Gabumon, sitting on a park bench.

"Room for one more," Gabumon said, patting the empty spot next to him.

"Gabumon!" Matt cried. He hurried over and sat next to his digimon partner. "I'm so happy to see you! I've missed you so much!" He gave Gabumon and huge hug.

"I'm happy to see you too Matt, I'm just sorry I am not the real Gabumon."

Matt sat up straight again. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I am only a dream, Matt, but I'll try to be as good as the real thing."

"Sure thing," Matt smiled.

"Matt, I am here to tell you something important. You need to stop hiding and tell someone what happened. You can not let these feelings build up inside you. You must know that it is killing you."

"You don't understand, I can't tell anyone."

"But I do understand Matt, you can tell Tai. He loves you and is very worried about you."

"But...how can I tell Tai that I did something like that to my own little brother!? He'll think I'm a monster!" Matt leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"You need to tell him the whole story, you need to tell him what happened with your father as well, Matt."

"What!?" Matt looked up at Gabumon in astonishment. "You can't know that! Nobody is supposed to know about that!"

"You've forgotten, I only know about that because I am a part of you. I am the fourth part of you, Matt."

"Fourth part?"

"There are different parts to you. The second part is your anger, your rage, this is the part you've been letting control you. The third part is your innocence. It's sad to say, but you don't let this part get out very often. You think it makes you weak, but it can only do that if you let your anger become stronger."

Matt sighed in response.

"I am the fourth part," Gabumon continued. "I am your conscience, but it seems you don't listen to this part very much either."

"Then what's the first part?" He asked.

"The first part is you, it's all the others put together. Most people have an even balance, but I'm afraid you've let everything become uneven. You've been denying your innocence and your conscience and are in a constant battle with your anger. It's overpowering everything else, until only the two sides are left."

"I can't help it!" he screamed. "I hate myself for what I've done!!"

"You need to stop letting your hate consume you, my friend. Please tell Tai, tell your family."

"What family..." Matt could feel tears coming to his eyes, even though he knew this was only a dream.

"You do have a family, your mother and your brother love you very much. And Tai loves you more than everyone else put together. You have friends who love you, Kari, Sora, Izzy, Joe, they all love you, even though you may not know they do. Also, you may not believe it, but your father loves you too. He's just letting his anger control him, the same way you are. I'm not sure he even knows that he loves you anymore."

"How could my brother love me after what I've done to him!?" Matt yelled.

"Let him know what happened, let him know everything. I have a feeling if he knows the whole story, he will understand."

Then the world began to fade away around Matt. Gabumon started to fade away too, everything was becoming hazy.

"Gabumon! Don't leave me!"

"He will understand..."

Matt woke up and gasped. He was back in Tai's apartment, lying on the couch. The room around him was dark, and it made him afraid. He didn't want to be alone, not right now.

He got up off the couch and crept into Tai's bedroom. Tai was sprawled out on the bed, snoring loudly.

Matt evened out the rumpled covers and slid under them next to Tai. Tai's snores were interrupted when he felt someone pressing up against him.

"Matt, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared Tai...can I sleep with you?"

Tai cuddled up against Matt. "I won't let any monsters get you, Yama." Tai giggled.

Matt sighed happily and closed his eyes. He didn't want to dream anymore, he just wanted to forget. Going back to sleep frightened him, but he felt so safe when he was near Tai. He let himself drift off again, knowing that Tai would be his guiding light if anything went wrong.


	13. Digital Gate Open

Note- This is the chapter where my original character is mentioned for the first time. If you want to know about her and how she was introduced to the Digidestined read the story that precedes this one, If I Never Knew You. It can be read in its entirety at http://www.yoleiperfecto.8m.com in the fanfic section. If you don't feel like knowing what happened before this, it probably won't matter since she's not a main character in this story anyway, but it might help things from getting confusing.

  
  
  
  


Chapter Thirteen- Digital Gate Open

  
  
  
  


The next night, Matt was back in the living room on the couch, trying to fall asleep. Last time he had checked, the clock had read 1:13 am. 

Just as he was drifting off, he heard a faint ringing sound. Thinking it was only a dream, he ignored it and kept his eyes shut. Then he heard it once more. Matt sat up and looked around, finally realizing the phone was ringing.

When he saw that no one else was awake to answer it, he walked across the room and picked it up off the receiver.

"Hello, Kamiya residence."

"Matt? Is that you?"

"Uh, yeah, Izzy?"

"Yeah it's me Matt, and boy do I have some news for you."

"Izzy, what are you doing calling up at one in the morning?"

"Well, I was sitting up at my computer playing trigonometry trivia over the internet with Ken when I noticed something rather peculiar. My Digivice was reacting to something, then out of no where, the Digiport on my computer opened!"

"What!?" Matt shouted, forgetting that everyone else in the house was asleep. "The Digiports have opened up again, you're kidding!"

"I'm not, Ken sent me an instant message informing that the same thing had happened to him. Go into Tai's room and check the computer right away." 

Matt did as Izzy instructed and hurried into Tai's room, still carrying the phone. He glanced over at the corner and saw that the computer was on. Not only was it on, but a full view of the digital world was visible through the screen.

"No way, it really is open!"

"Wake everyone up Matt," Izzy told him over the phone. "It looks like we're going back to the digital world. I'll call all the older kids and you call the younger ones,"

"Wait," Matt interrupted. "Can you call TK for me?"

"He's your brother, it makes more sense for you to call him."

Matt hesitated. "I can't, I'm not ready to talk to him yet."

"Matt what happened, you can tell me, I won't spill the beans."

"Sorry Izzy," he sighed. "I haven't even told Tai, I..."

"Fine then, I'll call TK for you but you're going to have to face him sooner or later. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, Ken is on his way to Odaiba right now, we're all meeting at my house."

"Why your house?"

"One, because I'm a technical genius, and two because my mom baked peanut butter and jelly cookies this morning, see ya!"

Izzy then hung up the phone to do some calling. 

Matt leaned over Tai's bed and shook him gently.

"Hey, Tai wake up!" He whispered.

Tai groaned and rolled over in bed. He opened one eye sleepily and looked up at Matt.

"Whata'ya want..." Tai said, still half asleep.

"Tai, the Digiports are open! We have to go back to the digital world for something."

Now, Tai was wide awake. He shot up in bed.

"You're kidding right?"

"That's what I said too, but it really is open!"

"Said to who?"

"Izzy called me up and told me about it."

"Heh, I should have known." Tai smiled.

Tai and Matt got dressed and then woke up Kari. When the three of them were ready, they left a note on the kitchen counter informing their parents that they might not be back home for a while, and snuck quietly out of the apartment.

When they reached Odaiba Mansion, they could see the light on in Izzy's room and knew that some of the others had already arrived. Matt looked up as they were walking inside and saw Cody and Yolei walking up the street from their apartment building, and TK was close behind.

Matt swallowed nervously when he saw his younger brother. How could he face him? TK looked so distant, and so alone. He knew he wasn't really up to this, but as a Digidestined, he had a duty to fulfill. 

Tai, Matt and Kari crept quietly to Izzy's apartment door, but when they opened it up, they saw that Mr. and Mrs. Izumi were wide awake and packing food into backpacks.

"Hello kids," Izzy's mother said cheerfully. "I hope you like peanut butter and jelly cookies!"

The three of them looked at each other a bit puzzled for a moment until Izzy walked out of his room.

"Hi guys, my parents kind of woke up when everyone started coming over, so I had to tell them everything. They said they'll clear things up with the other parents, about us leaving again."

Tai walked up and bowed politely to Izzy's parents.

"Thanks for all your help, we're probably going to need all the help we can get." Tai was really enjoying the opportunity to act like a leader again.

In about 20 minutes, every one but Davis (excluding Mimi and Jesi) had arrived.

"Where is that pineapple head?" Matt grumbled.

Izzy was sitting tapping away furiously on his computer, and the others were waiting patiently in different spots around the room. Tai, Matt and Sora were on Izzy's bed. Kari had finally managed to get TK to talk and they were chatting in the corner of the room. Joe, Yolei and Cody were sitting in the middle of the room, desperately trying to teach Yolei how to play Go Fish. Ken sat backwards in a desk chair twiddling his thumbs nervously, there seemed to be something on his mind.

Tai glanced up at Matt when he noticed he and TK were kind of ignoring each other.

Sora leaned over and whispered in Tai's ear,

"Do you know what's wrong with them, Tai?"

"I still haven't figured it out," he answered. "He won't tell me anything."

Just then, Davis burst into the room panting.

"Sorry I'm late, but right as I was leavin' Jun woke up and blocked the door. I had to threaten to flush all clothes down the toilet before she'd let me leave."

"It took you a half hour to do that!?" Tai groaned.

The argument might have continued, if Izzy hadn't turned away from the computer screen and interrupted.

"It seems," he said, "that the Digiports are open in America too, I just got a frantic e-mail from Mimi and another not so frantic e-mail from Jesi. They're going to meet us in the digital world. Jesi's note seemed a bit strange though." At this, Izzy turned to Ken, who seemed very troubled about something. "Ken, did you two know anything about this before now?" Izzy inquired.

"Well..."

"Come on Ken, if you have something to say, spit it out!" Tai yelled at him.

"Settle down, Tai." Matt elbowed him in the side.

"I have a confession to make..." Ken swallowed nervously. "The Digiports...they haven't exactly been closed over the past year."

Everyone gasped, and Tai seemed to be growing increasingly agitated.

"Are you telling us you've been to the digital world and you didn't tell anyone?" he growled at Ken.

Ken nodded, looking a bit ashamed, and continued. "I would have said something, but we had to promise not to let anyone know, only the black and white Digivices were able to open the ports."

"What do you mean you had to promise?" Tai butted in, again.

"Last year, Gennai informed Jesi and I that we could go to the digital world at any time, but only the two of us. He said it was kind of a gift, for saving the digital world."

"But we all saved the digital world! Why should only you two get to go when the rest of us were stuck here this whole time!?" Tai's hands were starting to form into fists now.

"Will you let me finish!?" Ken snapped. 

Everyone's eyes sort of popped open in shock when they heard Ken raise his voice. Tai seemed to be in shock too, because he sat back and lowered his hands. Ken hardly ever got mad, he was always so calm and reserved, and when he yelled it was a bit...intimidating.

"I'm sorry we didn't tell anyone, but we couldn't." Ken sighed. "Then about a month ago, something weird happened."

"Something weird?" Izzy said, raising an eyebrow.

"Right after February break, the Digiports suddenly closed, neither of us could get them open. We've been trying to figure out what happened, but it's like the whole digital world was just sealed off."

"Very interesting..." Izzy pondered. "Well obviously something has gone wrong in the digital world, and we're needed again."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Tai said. He stood up and looked down at everyone. "It's time to go back to the Digital World."

They all gathered their things and each took some of the food Izzy's parents had prepared. Izzy's mother stood back and sniffled a bit. She knew she might not be seeing her son for a while.

Izzy moved aside and they all gathered around the computer.

"Yolei, would you do the honors?" He said. 

Yolei, as the official digital gate opener, held her D-3 up to the screen and shouted,

"Digiport o-"

"Izzy," Mrs. Izumi interrupted Yolei in mid-shout.

Izzy turned around, scratching the back of his head. 

"Yeah mom?"

Izzy's mother had her arms outstretched and was motioning for him to come over. He made his trademark Izzy groaning noise as he walked by Matt and Tai, who were stifling giggles.

Mrs. Izumi threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug.

"Oh Izzy, I'm going to miss you so much."

"Moooomm...." He grumbled.

When Izzy's mother was done saying goodbye, Yolei held her D-3 up to the screen again.

"Digiport Open!!" she shouted. 

There was a bright flash of light, and the Digidestined were sucked into the Digital World once again.


	14. Disaster

Note: This is where the actual plot starts, meaning everything starts coming together... sort of. And Matt and Tai get split up, NOOOO!!! Oh, and if you really like Mimi, sorry but she's kind of a bitch in this. But um... Mimi is stupid anyway ^_^*

  
  
  
  


Chapter Fourteen- Disaster

  
  
  
  


When Matt opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Kari and Davis leaning over him.

"Hey! You're finally awake. Man, when we saw you lyin' there we thought you were dead or somethin'!" Davis said.

"Davis!" Kari scowled and Davis scratched the back of his head nervously. He inched back and sat himself down on the ground and Kari leaned further over Matt.

"I'm glad you're finally awake Matt, how's your head feeling?"

"Huh?" Matt was still confused as to where he was and what was going on, but quickly realized a sharp pain in the side of his head. "What happened?" He asked Kari.

"We're in the digital world, but everything is really messed up. We all fell from up there and you hit your head on the ground." Kari pointed up to a TV floating in mid air above them.

Matt looked up at the TV set, but then past it at the sky.

"Kari, what's the matter with the sky? It's all screwed up."

The sky above them was very strange indeed. All the blue was missing out of it, leaving it colored a light, misty grey. There were sparks and distortions all around, almost as though the sky was short circuiting. Matt glanced around him and saw the rest of the digital world wasn't in very good shape either. There seemed to be chunks of data missing everywhere and all the blue and yellow color was missing from everything, leaving splotches of grey in the midst of greens and reds.

Matt tried to sit up, but Kari quickly pushed him back so he was lying down.

"Don't try to move, your head is still bleeding." 

Matt felt the side of his head and realized Kari was using one of her gloves to absorb the blood, and his head was resting on Davis's jacket like a pillow. 

Matt sighed. "This is weird, I wonder what's going on?"

"You know what's weird? This one time, I had these sea monkeys and on the box they showed all these happy smiling monkeys dancin' around wearin' bathing suits and sunglasses, but you know what? I put the monkey eggs in water and I didn't get a single dancin' monkey!" Davis said.

Kari and Matt looked over at him for a moment, each with one eyebrow raised.

Then Matt suddenly realized,

"Hey! Wait a minute, where are the others? Where's Tai?"

"We don't know," Kari said. "Only the three of us ended up here, the others must be in other areas. I think this used to be the snowy mountain area, but all the ice is gone."

Matt looked back up at the TV hovering above them.

"Is that why the television's up there? Because it used to be on a pile of ice?"

"I guess so," Kari sighed. She looked down and checked her D-Terminal to see if she had gotten any e-mails, but it didn't seem to be working. "Have you gotten anything yet, Davis?" she asked.

Davis checked his own D-Terminal and then shook his head. "I think the battery's dead or somethin'"

"As soon as Matt's head is better, we should try to go look for the others. That's what my brother Tai would do." 

A chilly wind blew and Matt shivered.

"I wonder where Gabumon is," Matt thought. "And Tai..."

  
  
  
  


"SHUT UP!!!"

"Stop yelling at me! We're going to be lost here forever!!! WAAAAAHHAAAHAAA!!!!"

"If you don't stop crying right now..."

"Tai! You wouldn't hit a girl, would you!?"

"If she doesn't stop crying I'm liable to!" Tai shouted.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" 

Tai clenched his fists and looked as though his head was about to explode. He gave Mimi one last dirty look and stormed off to sit behind a tree.

"Why do I have to get stuck with the girls? They're so annoying." Tai said to himself.

Sora patted Mimi on the shoulder and tried to calm her down. She had been crying at the top of her lungs since they had come out of the Digiport and realized the others weren't with them. Tai, Sora and Mimi were in the middle of a dense forest with barely any sunlight showing through. Of course, the digital world was in such chaos, there wasn't much real sunlight shining anyway.

"Mimi, please calm down, we'll find the others," Sora comforted.

"We'll never find them!" Mimi sobbed. "We're stuck in this icky forest, we have no food, my white shoes are scuffed, and my make-up case is broken! Not to mention I broke a nail, and my hair is all tangled, and my mascara is running, and my underwear are riding up, and my knees have grass stains on them! I'm a mess! What's not to cry about!?"

"Mimi...at least we have each other."

"Oh that's just peachy! I'm stuck here with nobody but one of my girlfriends and Mr. I punch anything I can't make cooperate!"

"I heard that!" Tai yelled from behind the tree.

"I don't care!" Mimi snapped back.

"Mimi, Tai! Please stop fighting! We're never going to find the others with you two arguing."

"We're never going to find anything with Mimi crying like an idiot!"

"I am not an idiot!" Mimi stood up and screamed. "At least I'm smarter than you, you dim witted twit!

"Dim witted!?" Tai jumped out from behind the tree and glared at her. "Are you calling me stupid!?"

Mimi got right up in Tai's face and yelled at him. "I sure am! You're so stupid you'd pull on a Push door until the handle broke off!"

Tai growled at her. "Well you're so ditzy I bet you'd forget your own name if it wasn't sewn into your stupid pink underwear!"

Mimi gasped and slapped Tai across the face. Tai put his hand to his face for a second in shock, then dove at Mimi and pushed her to the ground. Tai brought his fist up to punch her but she began screeching at the top of her lungs like someone was about to stab her.

Sora grabbed Tai around the waist and yanked him off her.

"TAI! What are you doing!? You can't beat up a girl just because she insulted you! This isn't like with you and Matt!"

"Hmph!" was all Tai had to say. He folded his arms across his chest and sat on the ground grumbling.

"He looked at my underwear!" Mimi shouted.

"I did not!"

"How did you know they were pink then!?"

"EVERYTHING YOU WEAR IS PINK!"

Mimi just stuck her tongue out and Tai and turned her back. Sora sat down on a rock and sighed, wondering what she was ever going to do with them.

  
  
  
  


"MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!!!"

"Quick take them off!!"

"AGH! NO!"

"Here, use this!"

Yolei quickly grabbed the bottle of water from Cody and started pouring it on Joe's pants. The small but still rather painful flames that had started on them were extinguished.

"Ow ow ow ow!" Joe whined.

"Ok, now tell me exactly how you lit your pants on fire," Yolei said.

"I was just trying to start a signal fire like you said and my pants just spontaneously burst into flames!"

"I think," Cody said, looking at the fire, "that a spark must have gotten onto your pants, Joe."

"Well at least you got a pretty good fire going," Yolei remarked, glancing at the fire they had started with some kind of emergency camping log things Joe had packed. "The others are bound to spot this."

"We're doomed!" Joe said, "They're probably miles away, we're lost in the desert forever, never to be found! And all our water is on my pants!"

"He sure isn't setting a good example for the younger generation," Cody said, and started tending to the fire.

"That wasn't all our water Joe, we still have plenty left. And maybe as soon as we've rested we should try to go and find the others." Yolei said. She sat down next to Joe in the sand.

"No! I read in my survival book that when you're lost you should stay put until someone finds you!" 

"Well I heard that you can make a compass out of a needle in a glass out water. We'll make one of those and then keep heading in the same direction until we find someone."

"No more wasting water!" Joe shouted. He was being his panicky self, as usual.

"Joe, I think your glasses are on too tight," Cody said.

Joe looked up and saw Cody was offering him some sushi out of a container he had brought with him. Joe sighed.

"Thanks Cody, I guess I can get a little carried away sometimes." Joe smiled and started munching on some of the sushi with Cody.

"Uh oh, that's weird." Yolei said. She brought a little cup of water over and they all leaned over it.

"The needle keeps spinning around in circles. It's supposed to always point north." The three of then looked down into cup and watched the needle resting on the water's surface revolve around and around.

"I'm not surprised," Joe said. "This has happened before. When we came to the digital world for the first time, Mimi had this compass that she thought was a watch, and it did the same thing."

"I guess the laws of physics don't apply in the digital world." Cody said.

"Especially in a digital world as messed up as this one." Yolei looked up at the sparks shooting across the sky. They were in the middle of the desert, with no trees or water as far as they could see, only a few large boulders. Even with barely anything around them, they could see something wasn't right. In some places the boulders were missing pixels so you could see right through them, and there were patches of color missing from the sand. Pieces of sand dunes and rocks floated a few feet above the ground, their bottoms missing.

"It's almost like someone selected a bunch of files out of the digital world and pressed delete," Yolei said.

"But the digital world doesn't work like that," Cody said, but then added, "Does it?"

  
  


"How are you feeling TK?" Ken said as he sat down on patch of grass next to him. Ken, Izzy, and TK were resting in the edge of the forest by the beach. All the blue was missing from the water, making it look a sickly greyish green.

TK simply shrugged his shoulders and stared at the ground. He hadn't felt much like talking to anyone for the past few months, not even Kari. Even though Ken was practically his best friend, he didn't have the will to carry on a conversation with him.

Izzy was typing away vigorously on his laptop, as he had been since they arrived. Ken glanced over and could almost see the many wheels in Izzy's head turning as he contemplated the situation, forming new hypotheses and disregarding others.

A million questions were running through Izzy's mind. Unfortunately there was no one there to answer any of them. One thing he had noticed though, is that they hadn't seen a single digimon since they came through the portal. He wondered if the others had come in contact with any, but he was left in the dark since he had no way of contacting them, let alone any digimon.

"Have you figured anything out yet, Izzy?" Ken inquired.

Izzy shook his head and in a moment Ken regretted asking him. Izzy jumped at the chance to tell someone about all the contemplating he had been doing.

"I've been pondering quite furiously since we arrived here, but I haven't managed to reach any definite conclusions as of yet. I wish there was some way I could contact the others, but unfortunately it seems that the D-Terminals are currently out of order. I imagine though, that everyone else is probably as mixed up as we are, and that we've all been separated into smaller groups. It also makes sense to assume that they're in different areas, since we haven't run into them yet."

"I wonder when he finds time to breathe..." Ken thought to himself.

"I'm quite curious as to why the digital world is malfunctioning, however. I can't seem to find any physical cause for these strange occurrences. I wonder if perhaps there's a new enemy causing havoc that we know nothing about, but I was almost sure that we'd defeated everyone by now! And I'd also like to know why Gennai hasn't bothered to contact me yet, it could be that he's incapacitated at the moment and that in itself worries me."

"As long as there's light...the powers of darkness with be there."

Izzy stopped talking for a moment and he and Ken looked over at TK. They were quite surprised to hear him say anything, he hadn't spoken at all yet.

After an awkward silence, Ken turned back to Izzy.

"Izzy I think we should try and find the others."

"That's a very logical idea Ken, and I suggest we act on it immediately." Just then, Izzy heard a low growling sound. "There's only one minor setback."

"What's that?" Ken asked.

"My tummy's grumbling!"

  
  
  
  


Tai sat with his back to a tree, scowling ahead. He had been exiled by Sora and Mimi and forced to stay facing away from the pond they were currently at. 

Mimi had demanded a bath, complaining that she was dirty and starting to sweat. When they came to the grey water, she refused to get in until Sora finally convinced her that it was clean, just missing its pigment. Tai informed her that it was just a pigment of her imagination and got a swift slap across the face again while Sora rolled her eyes and stifled a giggle.

"Stupid Mimi...why did I have to get stuck with her, why not Kari or Izzy or...Matt." Tai sighed and rested his arms and chin on his knees. "I hope he's ok. If it weren't for Mimi's dumb crying we probably could have found them by now!" 

Tai's talking to himself was suddenly interrupted when he heard a loud squeal coming from the pond. Instinctively thinking there must be something wrong, Tai turned quickly and looked past the tree. 

"AAAAAAHH!!!!" There were Mimi and Sora, completely naked (which Tai had momentarily forgotten about), splashing each other. Tai immediately slapped his hands over his nose which had started spurting blood all over the place. Mimi and Sora screamed and sunk down under the water when they realized Tai had accidently gotten an eye-full.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU PEEPING TOM!" Mimi shrieked at him.

"It was an accident!" Tai's voice was muffled because he still had his hands over his face trying to stop his nose from bleeding. "I heard you yelling and I thought maybe you were getting attacked!"

"We were just having some fun ALONE over here because with you around the fun level goes down to zero!" Mimi growled.

"Oh yeah!? Well with YOU around the stupid level goes up to a hundred!"

"Real mature, you big haired freak!"

"DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY HAIR!"

"STOP IT!!"

Tai and Mimi gasped and looked over at Sora, who hardly ever yelled. She folded her arms and glared at both of them.

"You two are acting like little babies! Stop fighting right now! We're friends and we all need to try and get along so we can find the others!"

"I'm sorry, Sora," Mimi's voice had lowered back to her usual, sweet tone.

"I guess we were really being jerks..." Tai said, whose nose had finally stopped bleeding.

Sora nodded and smiled. "Now Tai, you turn back around so we can get dressed and get out of here."

"Good plan."

  
  


"Five hundred seventy-six bottles of sake on the wall, five hundred seventy-six bottles of sake! Take one down, pass it around five hundred seventy---"

"Davis, shut up!" Matt yelled, holding the side of his head. "You're giving me an even worse headache!"

"Hey, I'm just tryin' to pass the time. We've been walkin' down this dumb mountain for hours!"

"Yeah, and you've been singing for hours! You're supposed to start at one hundred bottles not one THOUSAND."

They had been following a rocky path that wound down the side of the mountain for quite some time. Kari had advised they stay put for a while longer on account of Matt's injured head, but Matt insisted they try to find a warmer area and start looking for the other digidestined.

"Well I when I saw the size of this mountain I figured I'd make the song last longer," Davis said.

"No more singing, you're tone deaf anyway!"

"What does that mean?"

Matt just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Kari, who was walking next to Matt, shivered and rubbed her arms trying to keep warm. She was dressed in only her pink dress, which was rather short, and had been freezing since they arrived in the digital world. Even though all the snow and ice had disappeared leaving only bare rocks, the frigid temperatures of the mountains had not.

"Hey, are you ok?" Matt asked her.

"I'm fine..."

"No you're not, I can see you shivering, Kari." Matt pulled off his black jacket and wrapped it around Kari's shoulders.

"Now you're going to freeze," she said.

"Nah, I've still got another shirt on under this one," he replied, straightening out his brown turtleneck. 

"I just want to get away from this mountain," Kari sighed.

"And away from Davis's singing," Matt smiled. Davis had started another song but was messing up the words (not to mention the tune) too badly to tell which one it was.

Kari just giggled and started to feel a little warmer.

  
  
  
  


"I wonder if this is Primary Village..." Jesi thought. She walked slowly through the towers of huge building blocks, each with a letter, number, for cute little picture printed on it. "The way Ken described it I thought it would be a little more...colorful."

Even Primary Village, where baby digimon hatch out of their digi-eggs was being effected by whatever had sent the digital world into such chaos. She peeked into the cradles that were strewn about but there didn't seem to be any digi-eggs in sight.

"Where could everyone be?" she said out loud.

Then she was interrupted by a voice coming from being one of the piles of blocks.

"Who goes there!?"

"I could ask you the same thing, come out and let me see who you are," she said to the mystery voice. It was one she didn't recognize.

"You tell me who you are first," the voice replied.

"I'm Jesi Junryou, I'm a digidestined. Do you know where my friends are?"

"Digidestined?" Then the owner of the voice stepped out into the open. He was a small red and purple digimon that looked like a cross between a frog and a rabbit. "Do you happen to know TK and Patamon?"

"Yes!" she said. "They're some of the friends I'm looking for! Do you know where they are?"

"Well, I can't tell you where TK is, but Patamon's with the others."

"What others? The other digimon you mean?" she asked.

"Yes, after the disaster, many digimon decided to come to Primary Village for safety. All the digimon partners of your friends are here."

"That means Flotsymon is here!" she cried. "But wait, who are you? And what disaster are you talking about?"

"Oh sorry about that, I'm Elecmon, the guardian of Primary Village...or at least what's left of it." he sighed, looking around at the empty cradles.

"What disaster?" she asked again "What happened here?"

"I'll tell you on the way, it's a long story."

Elecmon led Jesi through the rest of Primary Village and into the edge of a forest, taking the whole way. He told her that a few months ago, Jesi estimated it must have been around February break in the real world, the digital world had just started breaking apart. For reasons which no one could figure out, all the ice and sunshine had vanished. The blue and yellow color started to fade out of everything, and pixels just randomly deleted left and right. It was like parts of the Digiworld had suddenly and mysteriously been erased.

"It seems like some kind of power that was holding our world together started to fade away," Elecmon explained as they neared a clearing in the woods. "Then all the baby digimon stopped hatching. Soon after, eggs stopped appearing altogether. Now I'm worried that the powers of darkness are going to come back and start ruining our lives even more."

Jesi sighed and thought of TK, remembering how much he hated what everyone referred to as the powers of darkness. She hadn't known the digidestined yet when they had fought some of their greatest enemies, Devimon, Myotismon, and the Dark Masters. She had only heard about what went on back in the early days, but just thinking about it gave her chills.

"And there is one digimon I think you and your friends should look out for," Elecmon added.

"What? Who's that?" she asked.

"His name is Monomanemon, and he has the ability to trick people into believing he's something else. He can see into our minds, I mean, you could be him right now and I wouldn't even know."

"I'm not! I promise I'm not, I've never even heard of Monomanemon before." She assured him.

"Well just keep your guard up," Elecmon said. Then their conversation was interrupted by another voice.

"Jesi!" 

Jesi turned around to see Flotsymon, Patamon, Wormmon and Gatomon rushing towards her.

"Flotsymon!" she yelled happily. She kneeled down and took her digimon into her arms. "It's so wonderful to see all of you! Are the others here?"

"All the other digimon are back in the safe-house," Flotsymon replied.

"Safe-house?"

"We had to build it," Gatomon chimed in, "As a place of refuge for all the digimon that lost their homes in the disaster."

"Any digimon that needs a place to be protected can come here," added Patamon.

"Do you have any idea where the other kids are?" Jesi asked.

"We haven't seen hide nor hair of them," Flotsymon responded.

"You mean you don't know where Ken is either?" Wormmon said sadly.

Jesi shook her head and wished there was some way she could contact her friends.


	15. The Looking Glass

Note: I just wanted to say that I know Tai's real surname is Yagami but since I started writing Kamiya in the story before this I decided to stick with it. Just letting everyone know this so you won't think I'm an idiot for using his full first name with Kamiya. And I can't help it, I love the dub ^_^

  
  
  
  


Chapter Fifteen- The Looking Glass

  
  
  
  


"Davis, just admit it, we're lost," Matt growled.

"Dude! We are NOT lost, I know exactly where I'm going!" Davis said.

"Listen, we've passed that same stupid tree THREE times, we are LOST!"

"Well at least I got us off that mountain," Davis said smugly.

"Of course we got off the mountain, there were only two ways to go, up or down!" Matt yelled.

"Matt, stop it," Kari said quietly. "You're going to make your head hurt more."

Matt sighed and clenched his fist, barely being able to hold back from punching Davis. "I'm sorry Kari..."

"We'll find him soon." Kari instinctively knew that Matt was frustrated they hadn't found Tai yet, and probably didn't have anything on his mind besides finding him.

"I know..." Matt grumbled. They trudged on, never knowing that right on the other side of the mountain...

"Mimi, just admit it, we're lost," Tai said angrily.

"We are NOT lost, my woman's intuition tells me the others are this way!"she replied.

"Your stupid woman's intuition almost led us straight into a swamp a little while ago."

"Well at least I got us out of that forest!" Mimi said.

"Yeah, and right into a different forest except this time it's freezing cold!" he yelled.

"Tai, please stop," Sora said. "You know that fighting isn't going to get us anywhere."

"Well if Mimi says we should go this way then I'm going the other way!" he shouted, and began marching off in the other direction.

"Tai! Stop, come back!" Sora called, and began hurrying after him. Mimi had no choice but to follow.

Fortunately for them, the two groups were now headed directly towards each other.

"What the heck? I though all the ice and snow disappeared, how can this pond be frozen over?" Matt said. He looked down at the surface of the large pond they had come to the edge of.

"Matt, look," Kari said. She bent down and touched what Matt thought was ice. "It's not ice at all," she said, "it's glass."

"What? A pond covered in glass?"

"Hey, it's the digital world," Davis said, "anything can happen!"

Suddenly they heard shouting coming from the opposite side of the pond.

"I hate you Taichi Kamiya! You're such a huge jerk!"

Mimi was whining and running after Tai and Sora, who were headed directly towards the pond. Tai was about to insult her back, when he looked up and saw the figure standing on the other side. Even though he was at least a hundred yards away, Tai could make out his features perfectly. His blonde hair, pale skin, defined jaw-line, and he swore he could see those blue eyes sparkling even from this distance.

"No way... Matt!" Tai called out.

Matt squinted at the person calling him from the other end and could clearly make out his boyfriend's tan skin and huge mass of fluffy brown hair.

"Tai!!" Matt stepped out onto the glass surface of the pond, never even thinking it might break.

"Matt, be careful!" Kari shouted.

Tai and Matt both ran towards the center of the pond, skidding on the smooth glass surface, which was almost as slippery as ice.

When they reached each other, Tai pounced on Matt, knocking him flat on his back.

"Yami! I missed you so much!"

Matt hugged Tai tightly and pulled him as close as possible.

"I missed you too, angel! I wasn't sure if we'd ever be able to find you!"

They both sat up and held each other's hands.

"I've never been so happy to see anyone!" Tai smiled. Then he noticed the gash on the side of Matt's forehead.

"Yami, you're hurt, what happened?" he said as he gently ran his fingers over the wound.

Matt winced and Tai pulled his hand away quickly. "I guess when I came out of the Digiport I landed on my head, at least that's what Kari told me, I don't remember what happened." Matt took Tai's hand in both of his and kissed his fingertips.

"Kari's with you!?"

"Yes, and Davis, unfortunately."

Matt didn't need to ask who Tai was with, because Sora and Mimi had made their way out into the middle of the pond.

"Matt! It's great to see you!" Sora said happily.

"Yeah! It's great to finally see someone besides stupid Tai who's been doing nothing but screwing everything up since we got here!" Mimi grumbled.

"Has she been like this the whole time?" Matt asked, getting to his feet.

"Yes..." Tai sighed.

"Tai!" Tai looked up to see Kari hurrying over to them with Davis at her heels. Tai stood up and hugged his little sister tightly when she got there.

"Kari, are you ok?" he looked down at her and asked.

"Yes, I'm fine, Tai. Do you know where TK or the others are?" she asked.

"No...you're the first ones we've seen."

"Hey, guys it's getting kind of dark, I think we should find a place to spend the night." Matt said.

"How can you tell?" Mimi sighed, looking up at the darkening grey sky. "Everything is just so...blah."

"Well what's left of the sun is going down," Tai said. "Come on, we can stay in that forest, it'll give us a little shelter."

"Very little..." Mimi mumbled.

As they walked off the pond and back into the forest, they had no idea that below the surface of the glass, someone was watching...and listening.

  
  


"Matt...I'm cold. I think the fire's going out."

Matt got up and started adding some twigs to the diminishing flames and blowing on the embers. They had managed to start a fire with some matches Sora had packed in her knapsack, just in case. The girls and Davis were already asleep, and Matt and Tai had decided to stay up and keep watch in case any hostile digimon decided to find them. They really weren't sure what they would actually do if a digimon did find them, but they felt it was their duty as men, (well...technically they are, right?) to protect the others.

When the fire was blazing again, Matt sat back down next to Tai and wrapped his arm around him.

"Things can never just be simple..." he sighed.

"Come on Matt, if things were always simple life would be so boring." Tai said. He reached down and rubbed Matt's thigh tenderly.

"I guess..." Matt gazed into the fire, remembering the night he kissed Tai for the first time, when they had all been camping on the beach. That kiss must have been the most perfect moment in his life.

Matt took Tai's chin in his hand and tipped his face up. He closed his eyes and leaned over, and slowly kissed Tai's beautifully soft lips.

"What was that for?" Tai asked when they had finished.

"Do I need a reason to kiss you?"

Tai smiled, "I guess not."

Tai inched over and sat himself down in Matt's lap. Matt slipped his arms around his slender boyfriend and rested his head on Tai's shoulder, letting his hair fall over his eyes. Tai gently brushed it away.

"I think your gel is starting to wear off, Yami."

"I'll live."

Tai ran his fingers through Matt's silky hair and sighed.

"You're worried about TK aren't you?"

Matt didn't respond, but Tai already knew the answer was yes. 

"Matt...I know you're hurting, so why don't you just tell me what's going on? I promise I won't tell anyone else."

Matt didn't answer.

"Please?"

"I want to...I really do, but something's holding me back," he said quietly.

"Come on, I want to help you but you need to tell me what happened first."

"You would hate me if I told you..."

Tai was shocked Matt could think such a thing. He tipped Matt's head up gently and looked into his eyes.

"Matt, nothing you could ever tell me would change the way I feel about you."

"And what way is that..." Matt said. Just the way he spoke...the expression on his face, it was so sad.

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Remind me."

"Yamato Ishida, I love you with all my heart and you know that. And, I mean, I know I'm not the smartest person in the world but there's one thing I'm sure of. No matter what happens I'll always love you more than anyone else and I'll always be here for you."

Matt blinked a few times and Tai could see tears were starting to flow out of his eyes. Even after all this time, he still felt ashamed when he cried, and Tai was the only one besides Gabumon who had ever seen him do it.

Tai kissed each and every teardrop off Matt's cheeks until he was done crying. Matt dried his eyes with his shirt sleeve.

"Well...when you're ready, promise you'll tell me what happened, ok?"

Matt nodded. "I love you too Tai..."

"I know." Tai smiled at him. "So, wanna sneak off into the woods and do the wild thing while the others are sleeping?" Tai grinned.

Matt smirked and actually couldn't help but laugh.

  
  


All through the next day, they marched through the dense forest looking for some sign of the others. The temperature had become warmer and Sora was pretty sure they were approaching the desert. Mimi announced she didn't care where they were going as long as there was a soft bed and a beauty parlor there.

That night they all sat around the campfire again and wondered how many miles they had covered during the day.

"Matt, my legs are so sore from walking all day," Tai complained.

Matt simply pulled Tai into his lap so he was seated on Matt's hands and began rubbing the back of his legs, which were quite muscular.

"Mmm...Yami, your hands are so strong..." Tai smiled.

"It's from playing bass and guitar so much."

"When you're done groping Tai's butt can we please try to be serious here?" Mimi said, glaring at both of them.

"At least I'm not groping his crotch," Matt said, narrowing his eyes at her.

Mimi made a look of disgust and just turned her nose up at them.

"Mimi, try to be a little more understanding," Sora said.

"Well while we're here stuck in this crummy old forest all those two care about is making out!"

"We're not making out, I was just rubbing Tai's legs because he said they hurt, you bitch!" Matt shouted.

Mimi gasped and got up. She marched over and raised her hand to slap Matt when Tai stood up and blocked her.

"Don't touch him," Tai growled. He grabbed hold of Mimi's wrist and twisted it until she lowered her hand. Mimi looked up at Tai in horror and her face twisted up in pain.

"Tai stop!" Sora yelled. "You're hurting her!" Sora ran over and yanked Mimi out of Tai's grasp. 

Kari and Davis's eyes were open in shock. They both looked up to Tai but were now too afraid to speak.

Mimi looked down at her bruised wrist and burst into tears.

"What happened to you Tai!? You're a monster!" she cried, and ran off into the forest.

"Mimi! Come back!" Sora called. She quickly raced after her.

"Wait! I...I'm....sorry." Tai sat back down and stared at the ground. He could barely believe what he had just done.

Matt wasn't sure what to do, he knew Tai was only trying to protect him but...

"Tai...are you ok?"

"I can't believe I just...I don't know what to do anymore."

Matt sighed and knew this was his fault. Tai had been worrying about him so much, he was at the end of his rope. More than that though, there was something about this place. It was as if something in the air itself was affecting everyone, making them more hostile, more jumpy. Matt took Tai's hand and stood up.

"Come on," he said softly.

"What? Matt, we can't leave Kari and Davis here alone."

Matt just smiled at the youngest members of their group. "They'll be fine."

Tai stood up and allowed Matt to lead him deeper into the forest. They sat down in the shadow of a huge old tree on a bed of moss, there were thick bushes and brush all around them. Although the sun and stars were faded and grey, the silver moon was just as beautiful as ever and its light made Tai's face look even more angelic.

"What do you want, Matt?"

Matt quickly silenced him by pressing their lips together and slipping his tongue into Tai's mouth. Tai closed his eyes and began to relax as they exchanged kisses.

"Matt...we can't, not right now," Tai said a few moments later.

Matt laid Tai down on his back and lifted up his shirt, kissing his stomach over and over.

"Yama...we can't just...ng...while Mimi and...ooh..." Tai's blabbering was quickly replaced by quiet moans. Matt slid his hands up Tai's sides and under his arms and pulled his shirt over all his hair. He ran his tongue up Tai's chest, and could feel his breathing becoming heavier. Tai's hands were making their way down the back of Matt's pants and slowly pulling them down.

A gentle breeze blew the scent of the dry desert air through the forest and for some reason Matt began to feel so safe, so comfortable. His ran his hand over Tai's smooth stomach and started removing his pants.

"I see you gave up wearing boxers," Matt whispered.

"Yeah, I just don't like them, they're uncomfortable," Tai responded.

"I guess in a few minutes it won't really matter..."

Tai could feel the palm of Matt's hand moving over his now bare hip. Matt moved completely on top of his beautiful boyfriend and kissed him again. Tai slid his arms around Matt's waist and closed his eyes. He felt like asking Matt if he was sure about this, he wanted to ask if he was ready, but was afraid speaking might ruin everything. He decided Matt's actions right now were speaking louder than any words possibly could. 

Tai stayed quiet as long as possible until a quiet gasp escaped him. The sudden moment of pain passed and was replaced by the wonderful sensation he had missed so much. Soon, he could not help but begin moaning softly.

  
  


"Are you sure Kari and Davis said they went this way?" Mimi said angrily as they walked through the woods. She was getting more and more frustrated as they tripped over vines and were continually hit in the face with branches.

"Mimi, I really think we should just leave them alone..." Sora said.

"No way! If those two jerks think they can just go and leave us all alone like that they have another thing-"

Suddenly Mimi heard a loud moan coming from behind a huge tree several yards away that sounded suspiciously like Tai. She started pushing through the brush towards it.

"Now they've gone and gotten themselves into trouble!"

"Mimi wait!" Sora knew automatically what was going on.

Mimi stopped and glared at her. "You heard that didn't you? Tai's hurt, you must have heard him!"

"I heard it, Mimi but, stop! Stop, they're not hurt!" Sora rushed after her in a desperate attempt to avoid a moment of extreme embarrassment for all four of them. "Mimi! You don't understand!"

Sora tried to catch up but Mimi had evidently made up her mind and was not going to listen to anything Sora had to say.

Mimi pushed away one last branch standing in her way and then,

"Oh my god!"

"Matt!!"

"Mimi, what the hell are you doing here!?"

"Uh oh..." Sora stopped and realized she was too late. Mimi spun around quickly with her hands over her eyes.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

Luckily for Matt and Tai, the forest was so dark it was hard to see more than a foot or two away. But unfortunately for all of them there was just enough light showing through the canopy from the moon that Mimi had gotten a fair glimpse of what was going on.

Matt stood up and stepped out of the bushes with nothing but his boxers on and his pants halfway down his hips. Even in the darkness Sora could see his trademark furious scowl plastered on his face as he started screaming at Mimi.

"What on earth is wrong with you, you stupid ditz!?"

Mimi was shaking and still had her hands covering her eyes.

"I had no idea!! I just heard Tai moaning I thought you were hurt!" she whimpered. After what had happened before by the campfire with Tai, she was afraid Matt might actually start hitting her.

"Of course he was moaning! We were having sex!!" Matt screamed loud enough for the entire forest to hear. He was yelling so loud in fact, Kari and Davis were no doubt getting an earful back at the campsite.

"Matt!" Sora tried to calm him down. Tai now stepped out from the brush, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Matt, stop it," Sora went on. "Please don't be so mad, she didn't mean it!"

"I would have expected you to know better, Sora!" he yelled at her.

"I tried to stop her! You need to control your temper!"

"I need to control my temper!? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU!?"

Sora was about to answer, but was surprised by Matt falling suddenly to the ground. Tai's fist had impacted with the side of his face and sent him flying.

"Matt! What's done is done and there's nothing you can do to change it by yelling at everyone!"

Matt rubbed his cheek and licked a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth. He lifted himself up on his elbow and looked up at Tai. He did nothing but breathe heavily for a few moments and stare at Tai. He was glaring down at him and didn't appear angry, just serious.

"Thanks Tai..." Matt said at last. Tai reached his hand down and helped Matt to his feet.

Sora was trying to comfort Mimi, who had begun sobbing. Sora now shook her head and sighed. Those two certainly had the strangest relationship she had ever seen.


	16. The Sound of Music

Note: The feudal village everyone keeps talking about is the town from the episode Big Trouble in Little Edo. Now, since I'm not sure what continent 02 takes place on, this might be completely impossible. Forgive me if it is, but since Ken went to Primary Village in Genesis of Evil and those crazy Gekomon knew Mimi in Family Picnic, I just guessed they were on File Island, since Gennai also said that stuff about everything coming from the island. But um... yeah.

Also, the song Sora sings is her 01 theme, Ashita wa Motto, and if you think the song Tai and Matt sing is the song from Pocahontas, uhhh... YOU'RE SADLY MISTAKEN! *runs away*

  
  
  
  


Chapter Sixteen- The Sound of Music

  
  
  
  


"Who would have thought a desert that's blazing hot during the day could be freezing cold at night," Cody sighed.

"Actually, on earth, a lot of deserts experience the extremes of both ends of the temperature range. During the day it's really hot because there's no water and no shade, but at night it gets cold because there's nothing keeping the heat in."

"Thanks for the weather lesson, Joe, but that still doesn't make it any warmer," Yolei said in a low, annoyed, monotone voice.

The three of them were huddled up together around the campfire, trying to get some much needed sleep. Their water and food supply was running dangerously low, and there was still no sign of vegetation. They had decided not to follow Joe's advice of staying put when they realized they'd probably die of dehydration before anyone came far enough out to find them. Since the compass Yolei had put together with the needle and water didn't work at all, they just picked a direction and started walking.

After two days and still no trees or water in sight, they worried if maybe they had ended up going in circles. Yolei insisted she had an excellent sense of direction and that they would find the others soon, but things were starting to look dim.

"I really wish one of us had packed a blanket or something," Cody said.

"I remember Izzy and Ken having sleeping bags," Yolei replied, "but too bad they're not here..." she quickly added.

"Well, we haven't frozen to death yet," Joe said. "Of course if we don't find water we're going to die anyway."

"Joe! We're going to find water!" Yolei snapped.

"Ok, ok! But even if we do find water, we're probably just going to starve."

"JOE! Cut it out!"

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a natural worrier," Joe sighed and rested his head on his knees.

Yolei just shook her head and leaned closer to Joe and Cody, trying to keep warm.

"Hey...what is that?" Cody said. Yolei and Joe turned around to see him facing in the other direction, looking at something in the distance.

"It's too dark, I can barely see anything," Joe said.

"You know...I noticed that earlier and I thought it must just be a mirage, because I could see right through it." Yolei said. She put her hand to her chin and tipped her head to the side a bit, trying to make out what the large distortion they were seeing in the distance was.

"Yeah, but it can't be a mirage because I can see it too!" Cody said. "Yolei, doesn't that look like a mountain to you?"

"Well if you mean a giant half invisible glowing type mountain, then yeah, it sure does."

"I still can't see what you're talking about!" Joe cried.

Yolei and Cody glanced up at him.

"Joe..." Yolei said, "Try putting your glasses back on."

Joe suddenly realized that he wasn't wearing them, they were lying on the ground next to their backpacks. 

"Eh, oops," Joe picked his glasses up and placed them back on his face.

"Ah! I can see it, we're saved!"

"We're not saved yet," Yolei reminded, "That mountain is miles away, it's probably going to take us all day tomorrow to get there."

"If the mountain range is that way, it must mean Infinity Mountain is in that direction too! We're heading inland! Civilization!" Joe cried.

"I have a suggestion," Cody chimed in. "Why don't we start walking now and rest when it gets hot tomorrow. We won't be as thirsty if we're not walking in the hot sun."

"Ok, I guess we better get a move on then," Yolei said, approving Cody's idea. "Are you ready, Joe?"

"Yeah, I guess, but there's only one tiny problem."

"Um...what's that?"

"I really have to go to the bathroom!!" 

Yolei and Cody just groaned and fell over (anime style)

  
  


"I am SO sick of walking! Can't we just take a break?" Mimi whined. They had been trudging through the forest all day long, and it seemed to be getting hotter every minute.

"Sora, please tell Mimi to shut up." Matt said.

Sora sighed and didn't even bother telling Mimi, knowing quite well that Mimi had heard what Matt said. Since the night before, they hadn't been speaking to each other and were relaying all their messages through Sora.

"Matt... she said she was sorry, why won't you just stop acting like this?" Tai said, placing his hand of Matt's shoulder as they walked.

"Because I can't forgive her, I'm still too mad."

"Sora," Mimi growled, "Please tell Matt to stop being a stubborn jerk."

"I think we ALL want Matt to stop bein' a stubborn jerk," Davis said suddenly.

Matt flashed him a look that could stop a bullet in mid-air and Davis quickly scratched the back of his head and ducked behind Kari. Matt just folded his arms and started walking faster, until he was a few yards ahead of the group.

"Tai...can't you get him to stop?" Kari pleaded.

"I can't do anything, Kari, you know how he gets. Once he's decided he's going to be mad about something there's nothing I can do to stop him..."

They walked on in silence for a few minutes, Matt stomping along ahead of them, until they heard a strange sound in the distance.

"What the heck is that?" Davis said. "It sounds like a cross between a croakin' frog and a dying cat tryin' to sing!"

Then Mimi gasped when she heard the familiar sound of horns blowing mixed in with the frog croaks.

"It must be the Gekomon and Otamamon!" she squealed. Mimi ran past everyone towards the sound, nearly knocking Matt over on the way.

"Watch where you're going, Mimi!" He yelled after her.

"I thought you two weren't talking, Matt," Tai smiled as he hurried after Mimi. 

Mimi dashed through the brush until she reached a clearing and found a large feudal style building with arches and gazebos surrounding it. There in the middle of the clearing, was a group of Otamamon singing and Gekomon playing their horns, being conducted by another Gekomon.

"Oh!" Mimi cried, and grinned happily.

The group of singers stopped and turned around to see who had stepped up. Then a few of them started running up to her.

"Princess Mimi!" one Gekomon shouted.

"It's so good to see you again!" an Otamamon said.

Mimi kneeled down to hug her Digimon friends, who had been loyal to her all these years in gratitude for her waking up their leader, ShogunGekomon.

"I'm so happy to see you!" she said, "You're the first Digimon we've seen the whole time we've been here!"

"Most of the other Digimon have gone into hiding or migrated to safer areas since the disaster," a Gekomon said.

"Disaster? What disaster? Do you mean you know what caused all this chaos?" she asked.

Just then, the others arrived at the clearing (even Matt) and smiled when they saw the Gekomon and Otamamon surrounding Mimi.

"Hey guys! I'm glad we finally found someone who might be able to help us," Tai said.

"We're running out of food and we haven't had a nice place to sleep since we arrived," Sora added.

"Well we have plenty of food inside," said the Gekomon.

"You can help yourself to all you want, since you're friends of Princess Mimi!" said an Otamamon.

"One question," Matt said in a slightly annoyed voice, "If all the other digimon are gone, how can you be singing at a time like this?"

All the Gekomon and Otamamon seemed to become serious and sentimental. "Even through the greatest hardships, the worst disasters, we will always keep our music alive!" the lead Gekomon said.

"They love to sing!" Kari smiled.

"Yeah, even though they stink at it," Davis said.

"Davis!" Kari flashed him a disapproving look that caused him to blush deeply.

  
  


The Gekomon and Otamamon led the digidestined inside the main building and informed them that ShogunGekomon had relocated to a safer area along with about half of the population. The rest had decided to stay and help guard the town which was located about a quarter of a mile away. They were staying in the large building in the clearing, which they informed the children was a temple and this clearing was a shrine honoring their music loving ancestors.

Over dinner, they also learned that they had in fact been getting closer to the desert, and it was only a few miles from the edge of the village.

"But you haven't seen any of the other kids, huh..." Tai said sadly after the Gekomon had finished explaining what was going on in the digital world.

"Nope, sorry."

"You're the first humans we've seen in a long time," a little Otamamon added.

"And a lot of the digimon are afraid because of this Monomanemon?" Mimi asked as she finished off her soup.

"Don't worry about him!" Davis said "We'll defeat that jerk easily!"

"It's not as easy as you think!" a Gekomon protested. "Our Shogun tried to destroy him but he was knocked flat on his royal back!"

"Others have tried too, but Monomanemon has the ability to play with our minds, digimon don't know if they're coming or going." said an Otamamon.

Matt sighed and looked around the room when he had finished his food. Then he spotted a stack of instruments in the corner.

"Hey!" He got up from his seat and rushed over. "A guitar, a real one!" he said, smiling, and picked it up. 

"Is it in tune?"

"Of course," Gekomon said, "we always keep all of our instruments in tune."

"I think Matt just forgot about being mad," Tai whispered to Kari.

Later that evening, as the sun was setting slowly beyond the horizon, they all sat outside in the clearing around a fire pit located in the center of the area. Some kind of firefly in the foliage around them provided a soothing glow. The scent of the dry desert air mixing with the sweet vines of flowers climbing of the sides of arches and walls was carried on the breeze. The gentle wind blew by everyone's faces and played with their hair.

Matt had brought the guitar from inside the Gekomon's temple outside with him. Even though night was coming, it was still warm and the six of them sat comfortably on logs around the fire with the Gekomon and Otamamon. Matt held the guitar on his knee and started to play a slow melody.

As he played, Sora closed her eyes and started to sing, motioning Mimi to join her when she sang the choruses. Tai sat with his head rested on his hand and watched Matt play while he and the others listened to the song...

  
  


Yume mita jibun totemo tookute 

Hito shirezu nakitai 

Bukiyou de kimochi ienakattari 

Tsuyogatte misetari 

  
  


Demo kono yo ni hitori nara 

Namida ga kieru kawari ni ai mo kieru 

Utsumukanaide habatakou 

Ashita wa motto chikaku naru daita yume ni 

  
  


Tabi wa nagakute toki ni tsurakute 

Hito wa tada chiisai 

Yowasa ga fui ni mienaku suru no 

Koko ni iru imi sae 

  
  


Demo kokoro wo sumashitara 

Dokoka de kitto sosogitai ai ni deau 

Akiramenaide habatakou 

Ashita wa motto tsuyoku naru dareka no tame 

  
  


Demo kono yo ni hitori nara 

Namida ga kieru kawari ni ai mo kieru 

Utsumukanaide habatakou 

Ashita wa motto chikaku naru daita yume ni

  
  


Tai had never realized what a beautiful voice Sora had, she and Mimi sang so splendidly together, but he was more focused on Matt. He was watching his fingers pressing down the strings, but his eyes were half closed. It seemed like he didn't even need to watch what he was doing, he could just play, as if it were as natural as breathing. When Matt played any instrument, his eyebrows turned up and his face became so serious. It seemed like every ounce of emotion he had was coming straight from his heart to his hands, and came out in the music he played. It was the only time Tai ever saw everything Matt was feeling, like music was the only form of expression he had. 

His music was so personal to him. When he was simply talking with other people, he could hide what was going on. No one was allowed into his heart, and they only found out what he wanted them too. Everything was always locked up inside, even with Tai, he rarely talked about his feelings except to tell him how much he loved him. With music though, it was different, when he played or sang, everything was flung out into the open. Raw emotion was changed into song and nothing he felt could be hidden anymore. It all came out, especially when he played the harmonica.

The more Matt played that night, the happier he seemed to become. When Sora and Mimi had finished singing, Matt asked if the Gekomon had a harmonica, since he had forgotten to pack his, and was quickly brought one. Then Tai and Davis took a turn singing, much to the regret of everyone's ears. Matt would have smiled if he hadn't been playing, because he knew Tai could actually sing quite well if he was being serious about it. Right now, however, he most certainly wasn't.

After Tai and Davis's terrible but hilarious performance, the three girls began singing together. There was a slight intermission in the middle of the song, though. Matt had been playing harmonica but stopped suddenly to laugh when Mimi started doing some kind of hula dance in front of him.

"I guess they're not mad at each other anymore," Tai whispered to Sora while Matt was laughing. Sora just smiled and nodded. 

The girls continued singing, and the Gekomon and Otamamon decided to provide some backup. Tai giggled, thinking that frog croaking wasn't exactly what the song needed.

When they were finished, Tai sat down next to Matt and handed him the guitar again.

"Will you sing with me?" he asked.

Matt looked a bit surprised, he had never sung with Tai before. He actually felt kind of nervous...sharing the thing he loved most with the person he the loved most. Matt set the guitar across his legs again.

"Sure, what do you want to sing?"

Tai smiled and tucked a few strands of hair behind Matt's ear that had fallen forward.

"How about, If I Never Knew You."

Matt smiled and glanced down at the guitar. When his fingers were on the right strings, he just closed his eyes and began to play and sing...

  
  


If I never knew you  
If I never felt this love  
I would have no inkling of  
How precious life can be

And if I never held you  
I would never have a clue  
How at last I'd find in you  
The missing part of me

In this world so full of fear  
Full of rage and lies  
I can see the truth so clear  
In your eyes  
So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you

Matt's voice had an amazing range, he could go from bass straight to falsetto, and his singing was so captivating. When Matt had finished the first section of the song, he just stopped and waited for Tai's tenor voice to pick up. He smiled to himself when he heard the goofy sounding voice from just a little while before replaced with something beautiful...

If I never knew you  
I'd be safe but half as real  
Never knowing I could feel  
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you

The two of them sang the song so perfectly together, like they had been practicing their whole lives.

Matt: I thought our love would be so beautiful

Tai: Somehow we made the whole world bright

Then they sang together, and the others could hardly believe how well their voices blended.

I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong  
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night  
But still my heart is singing  
We were right

They sang back and forth, one answering the other's call. Matt felt so connected to Tai suddenly, like he could feel what Tai was thinking. It almost felt like the connection that two digidestined felt when their digimon DNA digivolved. Moving in sync, feeling each other's hearts beating. 

Tai: If I never knew you  
If I never knew this love  
I would have no inkling of  
How precious life can be

Matt: There's no moment I regret  
Since the moment that we met  
If our time has gone too fast  
I've lived at last...

Together: I thought our love would be so beautiful  
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright

Tai: I thought our love would be so beautiful  
We'd turn the darkness into light

Together: And still my heart is singing  
We were right

Matt: We were right  
And If I never knew you  
I'd have lived my whole life through

Tai: Empty as the sky...

Together: Never knowing why  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you...

  
  


Matt strummed the last few notes on his guitar and Tai leaned his head over and rested it on his partner's shoulder. To Matt's surprised, as soon as they had finished, the others started clapping, even the Gekomon and Otamamon.

"That was beautiful," Sora said.

"Hey, thanks Sora!" Tai said, and beamed happily.

Matt just blushed and lowered his head, he wasn't sure what to say.

A few hours after the sun had set completely, the Gekomon and Otamamon led the children inside the temple and started showing them to rooms where they could sleep. The girls were already in their room and the Gekomon were leading Matt, Tai and Davis down a hallway to a room of their own. On their way, they passed by a door and Matt glanced inside. He saw a medium sized pool of water in the center of the room with steam rising up out of it.

"Hey, wait a second," Matt said. He grabbed Tai's hand to stop him from walking any further and Davis and the Gekomon turned around.

"Do you mind if Tai and I take a bath in there?" Matt asked.

"Sure, but don't make a mess or anything, that's our sacred hot spring," a Gekomon answered.

"Hey! What about me?" Davis said.

Tai glanced back and forth between Matt and Davis.

"You can have a bath after we're done, Davis," Matt said. "Why don't you just take a nap or whatever for now?"

"What's the big deal? I'm not a girl!" Davis whined.

"Matt likes his privacy," Tai said.

"But-"

"I think you should stop asking questions!" one of the Gekomon said, and the group of them quickly pushed Davis into the bedroom.

"Heh, those little guys are brighter than I thought," Matt said.

He and Tai walked into the room with the pool of hot water and Matt pulled the curtain on the door shut behind them. He turned and saw Tai was already pulling his shirt off.

"Man, it's going to feel good to have a nice hot bath, I must stink after all that walking and no shower in two days, huh?" Tai said.

Matt just smiled, "I haven't really noticed."

Tai grinned and pulled off his socks and pants, revealing the blue briefs he had on underneath. Matt watched with great interest as Tai, who didn't even seem to realize Matt was watching him so closely, placed his thumbs underneath the waistband of his underwear and started to pull them down. Matt brought a fist up to his mouth and bit his thumbnail.

When Tai's underwear were down just past his hips he stopped and looked up at Matt.

"Um...are you going to go in with your clothes on, Yama?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess I just got distracted."

Matt bent down to pull off his pants and heard a splashing sound, and when he stood back up, Tai had already jumped into the water. Matt sighed and took off his shirt and socks, and then yanked off his boxers. When he was about to step into the water he noticed Tai was smiling broadly and watching him as intently as he had been watching Tai.

"Even after all this time I still get chills when I see you naked, Yama."

Matt folded his arms, "How come I didn't get to see you then, hm?"

Tai giggled and got up out of the water. He put his hands behind his head and spun around, showing off. His hair was dripping water onto his already wet shoulders and running down his whole body. Matt's gaze followed a droplet of water over Tai's shoulder, down his chest, along the side of his soft stomach, until it made its way over and underneath his bellybutton, then continued down.

"God, Tai...you're so beautiful..."

"Maybe, but still not as beautiful as you," Tai said, looking Matt's pale body all over. Even though he was taller and broader in the chest and shoulders than Tai, Matt was so delicate. From where his baby soft golden hair fell just past his ears, down to his long, slender legs.

Matt just smiled and shook his head.

"Get in."

Tai stepped back down into the water and reached up for Matt's hands. Matt took hold of them and hopped down. They pressed together and Matt stared into his angel's eyes.

"Matt...we can't do anything in this water, that Gekomon said it's sacred, remember?" Tai said, and kissed Matt softly.

"What could be more sacred than making love to you?" Matt ran his fingers through Tai's wet hair. After all this time, it felt like he was finally getting his old Matt back. Tai just hoped nothing would happen to push his boyfriend over the edge again.

"Yama...I want to try something new."

Matt licked and kissed down Tai's neck to his shoulder. "Mm...like what?" 

Tai turned and pressed Matt against the edge of the hot spring.

"Tai, what are you doing?"

"Matt...can I, I mean...would you let me..." Tai kept stumbling over his words like he didn't know how to say what he wanted to do, and started to blush. Matt raised a blond eyebrow.

"Tai...are you saying you want to try being seme?"

"Nn...yeah,"

"Are you sure?"

Tai nodded. Matt rested his arms over Tai's shoulders and smiled softly. 

"Ok then, Tai, I trust you."

Tai took a deep breath and let his eyes wander away from Matt's for a moment.

"I just hope I don't mess up..."

Matt kissed him on the cheek and Tai looked back up at him.

"You won't, and don't worry about it, we're just trying something a little different, right?"

"Right." Tai moved closer and kissed Matt, letting their tongues wind together. While they were kissing, Tai moved his hand down and carefully inserted two fingers, causing Matt to wince and grunt softly.

"Mmph...it feels weird..." he whispered.

Tai didn't seem to hear him, he just kept moving his fingers around and softly kissing Matt's jaw line down to his neck. Matt felt Tai's fingers leave him and wrap his arms around his waist. Matt closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, waiting, and wondering what it would feel like.

"Are you ready?"

Matt just nodded. 

He let out a gasp suddenly when he felt Tai move in. His eyes popped open as wide as they could go. He sucked in a few short breaths and let out a sound somewhere between a squeak and a whimper. Tai could feel Matt's whole body start trembling.

"Tai...it hurts..."

"Do you want me to stop?"

If only he had been asked that question the last time he had felt this pain. It was even worse then, maybe a hundred times worse, or at least it seemed that way. Matt started to choke back tears.

"Yes..."

Tai slowly pulled out, trying not to hurt him anymore. When he looked up, he saw the teardrops rolling down Matt's cheeks.

"Yami, did I really hurt you that much?"

"No...it's not you, I..."

Matt still had his mouth open, as if he was trying to say more but couldn't. His voice caught in his throat, some invisible force was holding him back, keeping him from speaking.

"Matt, tell me what's wrong, please. I know you only cry when something is really hurting you, so what is it? What are you thinking about that's hurting you so much?"

"It's nothing...really."

"It's not nothing! I'm not as stupid as people think I am and I know something's bothering you! Why can't you tell me?"

Matt swallowed back more tears and blinked. He looked away from Tai and started staring into the water.

"Did someone make you promise not to tell? Did somebody hurt you?"

He blinked again and a single teardrop rolled off the tip of his nose and fell into the water. Tai sighed, he was beginning to get frustrated trying to guess what was wrong.

"Did someone hurt TK?"

Suddenly Matt's face twisted up and he started crying harder than Tai had ever seen anyone cry. He brought his hands up to his face and sobbed loudly.

"Is that it? Someone hurt TK?"

Matt felt like his guilt was about to rip him apart from the inside out.

"Is that what happened!?" Tai grabbed onto his shoulders and Matt screamed out,

"YES!! I DID! IT'S MY FAULT!!" He flung himself against Tai and Tai wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend's shoulders. He decided not to ask Matt anymore questions for now. At least Matt had taken the step of admitting he had done something. But whatever he had done to TK that was so terrible, Tai still did not know. He just held Matt as close to him as possible and let him sob.

"Yamato..."


	17. Watching You

Note: Just because Matt and Tai are nice to Sora it doesn't mean there will be any Taiora or Sorato or a weird love triangle in this story. Tai and Matt love each other and no one else in my universe. And... Matt and Mimi don't like each other at all because I think Mimato is the dumbest couple ever! Oh and if you were waiting for TK to start appearing more this is when he does. Enjoy ^_^

  
  
  
  


Chapter Seventeen- Watching You

  
  


"What on earth is that?" Izzy said looking down at the pond before him.

Ken kneeled down by the side and touched the surface. 

"It looks like ice, but it's not cold. I think this is glass," he said, and looked back up at Izzy.

"Ok, a pond covered in glass, I think we can add this to the most screwed up things in the digital world list," Izzy grumbled. He seemed to be a bit agitated after walking all day and the battery on his computer running out. They hadn't passed a single outlet or TV since they left the beach, and TK, Izzy and Ken had now reached the foot of the mountain to find the glass covered pond.

"That mountain is so strange, it's like I can see right through it," Ken said, standing up.

"It seems like we can see through a lot of things these days. I wish I knew what was going on," Izzy said. The three of them started making their way around the pond. Izzy was getting frustrated not being able to figure anything out. It was just in his nature to want to know everything but now he couldn't make heads or tails of the situation. The way TK was acting wasn't exactly boosting the morale of the group either. He was still staying quiet and keeping mostly to himself.

TK stepped out onto the glass surface of the pond and looked down into it.

"I don't like the way this place feels..." he said quietly.

Ken stopped for a moment and moved out next to TK. He looked down and tried to see beyond the glass, but it was too dark.

"What does it feel like, TK?"

"There's something down there...but it's more like an echo or an impression. Like whatever is down there is only half there."

"Kind of like everything else around here," Izzy groaned, looking around at the broken, iceless mountain and the chunks missing out of rocks and trees.

"Come on," Ken said. He gently grabbed TK's wrist and led him off the pond. "It feels weird to me too...there's something wrong about this place."

"What are you talking about?" Izzy said, raising an eyebrow. "Everything seems normal to me, well relatively normal anyway."

TK just hung his head and walked by Izzy.

"You wouldn't understand..." he muttered.

Ken sighed and flashed Izzy a sympathetic look. He walked after TK and Izzy just grumbled and followed. They proceeded around the pond and past the foot of the mountain in silence. The presence under the glass watched them as they walked away, a spider web of deceit forming in his twisted mind. Matt and TK had both passed over, and this dark form now knew everything they knew. He plotted how he could use this secret to his advantage. A soft chuckle could be heard from deep inside the darkness. How silly these humans were, and what fragile emotions. A single moment might be able to tip the scales to his advantage, but he had to pick just the right time. He'd wait until they were all together, and knew about each other's location, then lure one away from the group to fool them. What a perfect plan! How easy it would be to turn them against each other, and all he had to do was divulge one little bit of information. Just one little puzzle piece would send the two that were already slipping teetering over the edge, and then the digital world would lose control for good.

Meanwhile, the other group of three had finally reached the edge of the desert and entered the forest. Joe, Yolei and Cody had crossed over a brook on their way through and finally gotten some water. They were now hiking along the edge of the forest closest to the desert, not knowing they were following the same path Davis, Kari, Tai, Matt, Sora, and Mimi had walked the other day.

"Hey look!" Yolei shouted, straying away from the path. "It looks like there was a campfire here!" She stepped over into the clearing and was in the campsite the other group had slept at two nights before.

"They must have been here not too long ago," Cody said, noticing that the footprints in the dust hadn't blown completely away yet.

"I wonder which way they went," Joe said.

"I think they went this way," Yolei said, pointing and looking down at the ground. "All the footprints coming from over there, and then they're heading away in this direction."

"But that way leads right back towards the desert!" Joe cried.

"You know...I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly but isn't there a village where a bunch of Mushroomon and Floramon live in that direction?" Cody said.

"Oh, you're right!" Yolei said, "That's the place where we got that dark spiral off of ShogunGekomon! Maybe the others went there."

"Wait," Joe said, "which others?"

Yolei and Cody realized they didn't know which of their friends had been here.

"Well, I know Mimi was here," Yolei said.

"Huh? How do you know that?" Joe asked.

"Look, I can see her heel prints in the dirt. Mimi is the only one who wears platform shoes," Yolei explained.

"Unless Izzy's found a new style of dress," Cody added.

Since Mimi's heels had dug into the ground the deepest, they were easiest to follow. They proceeded through the forest, following the tracks in the soft forest floor.

A few miles away at the Gekomon's temple, the Digidestined were all still asleep. The sun was so dim and almost everyone had lost track of time, but it was now early morning. When the light started peeking through the window, Sora opened one eye sleepily and rolled over. Since the Gekomon had given them a separate room from the boys, Mimi, Sora and Kari had all slept in their underwear under the white, fluffy comforters on their cots.

Sora sat up and yawned. She glanced over at Mimi who was sprawled out on her cot with one foot hanging over the edge, and she appeared to be drooling. It definitely was not a position one would expect from a "princess". Sora giggled quietly and when she saw Kari was still sleeping, she decided to go check and see if the boys were alright.

She wrapped her blanket around herself and tiptoed down the hallway to the room Matt, Tai and Davis were sleeping in. She peeked inside and saw Davis lying on his back in just his shorts (which he wore all year) and socks, snoring loudly. 

"I wonder how Matt and Tai slept through that," she whispered to herself.

She looked over at the other beds and expected to see Matt and Tai curled up together in one of them, but they weren't there. It did appear that one of the beds had been slept in though.

"I wonder were they are?"

She walked back down the hallway until she came to the main room where they had eaten then night before. There were Matt and Tai, sitting on cushions around the low table, eating breakfast. Matt was in his black tanktop and pants and Tai obviously had decided it wasn't necessary to put his pants on yet, he was wearing only his shirt and underwear. Sora wrapped her blanket tighter around herself. She had expected everyone to be asleep and hadn't bothered to get dressed.

"Hey Sora!" Tai said happily when he saw her step into the doorway. "Want some breakfast? Matt made tea and this...uh, whatever it is bacon stuff."

Matt had raided the Gekomon's food supply and put together a big enough breakfast for the six of them. There was green tea, a sort of round biscuit, jam, and some meat that tasted a lot like bacon but was smothered in herbs and spices.

"It looks great," Sora said. She was starting to blush and really wishing she could go back to the bedroom and get dressed, but didn't want to be rude. She sat down on one of the cushions on the side of the table closest to the door. Matt and Tai were sitting on opposite sides.

"Where are all the Gekomon and Otamamon?" she asked.

"They're still upstairs, sleeping," Matt said. Sora glanced over at the wooden staircase in the corner of the room, she hadn't noticed it before.

Tai poured some tea for her into a little china cup and handed her a biscuit.

"Aren't you kind of hot with that blanket around you?" Tai asked, and took another bite of his bacon.

"Er...do you two mind if I go back to my room for a minute, I kind of didn't put any clothes on."

"You're naked?" Tai said, raising an eyebrow.

"Tai!" Tai looked up to see Matt glaring at him.

"No, I have my underwear on...but,"

"Sora, don't worry about it," Matt said, taking a sip of his tea. "We're not into girls, remember? It doesn't bother us, well at least it doesn't bother me," he glared at Tai again, "And we've all known each other for so long, why does it matter? You don't need to be embarrassed."

Sora smiled a little, she supposed it really didn't matter, and she let her blanket fall off her shoulders. She had on a white sleeveless undershirt on over her bra and white panties. Matt and Tai just smiled and went back to eating and talking like it was something they saw every day.

"Sora!" Then they all looked up to see Mimi standing in the door, pouting. She had wrapped her own blanket around her like a toga. "My clothes are all dirty and they smell like sweat! I just can't put them back on until they're washed!"

"Oh brother..." Matt groaned.

"Well ask the Gekomon if there's someplace where we can wash our clothes before we leave, " Sora said.

"Yeah, or you could just get them to do it for you," Tai said. "You are the princess after all."

"Well I don't know where they are! And why are you in your underwear with boys in the room, Sora?" Mimi said, putting her hands on her hips.

"They said they don't mind," Sora said simply.

"Hmph, well I guess since it's just those two it's not important." Mimi said haughtily.

"So, we don't have names anymore, huh?" Matt said. Tai just rolled his eyes, and Mimi ignored both of them.

"So, what did you make for breakfast?" Mimi asked, walking over to the table and dropping her blanket to the floor. She sat down opposite Sora and started helping herself to food.

Unlike Sora, she did not dress conservatively when it came to underwear. She had on a baby blue bra and a lace trimmed thong to match. Without her sweater on, the three of them noticed for the first time that Mimi's bust size had grown exponentially since the last time they had seen her. When Sora looked down at her own almost flat chest she began to blush even more than before and covered herself up with her arms.

"Hey," Tai said softly, touching her shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

Even though Tai didn't really know much about girls (and didn't need to), he could tell right away what was bothering her. While Mimi was stuffing her face with food, Matt glanced over and mouthed to Tai,

"What's wrong?"

Tai crept around the table past Sora and sat down next to him. 

"Sora's upset because her...uh...you know, aren't as big as Mimi's," Tai whispered.

"Oh," Matt slid over next to Sora for a minute.

"You're still only fifteen, right?" he said softly to her.

She nodded.

"Then try not to worry, I know Mimi's younger than you but you're probably just a late bloomer. You'll catch up soon, ok?"

Sora began to smile a little again, "Thanks, Matt."

"And you're still beautiful anyway," Matt gave her a tiny peck on the cheek and leaned back over next to Tai.

"You're so sweet, Yama..." Tai said quietly, and leaned against his shoulder. 

"Mmhmm..." 

"Hey Matt, did you pack a hairbrush?" Tai asked him.

"Yeah, of course I did, it's in my bag in the bedroom."

Tai smiled and got up. He walked out of the room and down the hallways towards the boy's bedroom.

"Tai doesn't usually care about brushing his hair," Sora said, taking a few bites out of her biscuit.

Matt just shrugged and continued drinking his tea. 

"Personally, I think Tai should get a new hairstyle," Mimi said through mouthfuls of food. "That fluffy mess looks so horrible."

Matt glared at her. "Don't ever make fun of my Taichi's hair."

Mimi narrowed her eyes at Matt and continued shoveling food into her mouth. A few moments later Tai came back into the room and sat himself down behind Matt.

"What was that all about?" Matt asked.

"I want to brush your hair, is that ok?" Tai waved the brush in front of Matt's face.

"Er..." Matt quickly ran his fingers through his hair, he could feel that the gel had worn out and wondered how it must look after all the hiking they had done yesterday. He usually didn't like anyone touching his hair except him, but since it was Tai...

"Sure, go ahead."

Tai grinned and started running the brush through Matt's hair, making sure he didn't disturb the natural part on the right side of his head.

"Hmph, I wish I had someone's hair to play with," Mimi grumbled.

"Well you're not touching mine," Matt said. "Tai only gets to touch it because I love him."

Tai giggled and slipped his free hand underneath Matt's shirt and started tickling his stomach. Matt tried to squirm away but just bumped into Tai who was behind him.

"Gotcha..." Tai said. He pulled Matt closer against him and kissed his cheek.

"Oh please..." Mimi groaned.

"Do you have a problem, Mimi?" Matt said. "You've been acting like a bitch since we got here."

"I just wish you two would have a little respect for the rest of us and stop flirting in front of everyone," she said.

"If you had a boyfriend, you'd be flirting in front of everyone too!" Matt said.

"Yeah, especially one as pretty as Matt," Tai added with a grin.

"Are you saying I can't get a boyfriend?" Mimi growled.

"As annoying as you are, probably not," Matt said.

"Guys, I thought you were going to stop this," Sora said quietly.

"I never said that," Matt said, crossing his arms.

"Neither did I! Hmph," Mimi crossed her arms too and turned away from Matt.

"AH!" 

Everyone turned suddenly to see Davis standing in the doorway, covering up his nose which was spurting blood all over his hands.

"Oh great," Matt groaned.

Tai sprung up and ran over to Davis. He quickly tipped his head back.

"Matt! Get him a tissue or something!" Tai yelled. Matt just rolled his eyes and grabbed a napkin off the table. He walked over and handed it to Tai, who pressed it up against Davis's nose.

"Oh, what's wrong with him?" Mimi said, actually expressing some concern, but not realizing what had set off Davis's nosebleed.

"What do you think, genius?" Matt said sarcastically and flashed her a dirty look.

"Mimi it's your-" then Sora was cut off suddenly by Matt.

"It's because you're flaunting your big boobs all over the place, Mimi!"

"What!? Why are you looking at my chest!?" she shrieked. She stood up quickly and stamped her foot, causing her bosom to bounce. Tai saw Davis's pupils shrink and the blood started flowing out even more.

"It's kind of hard to miss!" Matt shouted at her. "Of course he's going to get a nosebleed when he walks in and the first thing he sees is that!"

"Well he's just a little boy!" Mimi shouted back, making her face start to turn red.

"He's only two years younger than you Mimi," Tai said, still tending to Davis's nose. Davis was unable to speak this whole time on account of the napkin covering his mouth and nose.

Sora thought for a moment about mentioning the night when Davis had kissed Mimi a year ago when they had been in the digital world, but decided it might makes things worse.

Then Kari rushed up behind Davis, apparently they were the only two that were fully dressed.

"What's going on, Tai?" She asked, a worried look on her face.

"Davis just got a nose bleed..." Tai sighed. Kari glanced in at Mimi in just her underwear arguing with Matt and understood.

"I'll take care of him, Tai," Kari said. She put her hand on Davis's shoulder and led him away. Davis just clutched the napkin to his nose.

Tai turned around and put his hands on his hips. Matt and Mimi were still bickering.

"You know, I thought you were some kind of girly girl all these years but you're just a slut!" 

"Take that back!!" Mimi screamed at him.

"Well you just walk around in your skimpy underwear and don't care who sees you!" Matt's hands were motioning all over the place as he talked, which only happened when he really got going.

"I would care if there were any real guys here! But it's just you two, and Davis is just a kid!" She replied, scowling at him the whole time.

"Just because Tai and I aren't attracted to girls it doesn't mean we're not real guys! Why don't you just put some clothes on, Mimi!?"

"My clothes are all dirty and if you want me to get dressed you can go wash them for me!"

"Wash them yourself, you lazy-"

"QUIET!!!" Tai shouted at the top of his lungs. Mimi and Matt stopped suddenly and looked over at him.

"You two are acting ever more immature than ME and that's just pathetic! Stop arguing right now!" he scolded them. It was rather hard to take someone wearing little blue underwear seriously, but he obviously meant business.

"I'm going to take a bath anyway!" Mimi said. She grabbed her blanket and walked off in a huff.

"Don't forget to drown!" Matt called after her. Sora just looked back and forth between Matt and Tai and then hurried after Mimi.

Matt just sat himself back down on his cushion and looked angrily at the doorway Mimi had just gone through.

"What's wrong with her anyway? Why does get like this, she whines about everything!"

Tai sat down beside Matt again and tucked a few strands of his blonde hair behind his ear.

"She's just stressed out, that's all. She's always gotten like this when things don't go her way," he said to Matt. "You're acting worse than usual too, Matt."

Matt sighed and leaned his head back against Tai's shoulder. "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"I know..." Tai wrapped his arms around Matt and held him close.


	18. Reunited

Note: A bit more about Jesi, if you didn't already know, she is Ken's girlfriend. (It's all in If I Never Knew You, read it read it .) I try not to Mary Sue... but BLAH, just bear with me. She is very best friends with Izzy and is also close to TK and Kari. There is a picture of her and her digimon here: 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Chapter Eighteen- Reunited 

  
  


"We're back!" Biyomon chirped as she, Tentomon, and Hawkmon flew in through the open window. She perched on the back of a chair, Hawkmon landed in the chair, and Tentomon sat himself down on the floor.

"That didn't take too long," Jesi said, smiling.

"We didn't see any of the others, but we made a map of the whole island just like you asked," Biyomon said.

Jesi was still at Primary Village with all of the digimon, and had been helping Elecmon take care of the babies. She had sent the three flying digimon to circle around the island and see if they could spot any of the other Digidestined and also asked them to draw a map of the terrain. Patamon wanted to accompany them, but he was so small, Jesi worried his wings might get tired out sooner than the others. She told him he needed to stay at Primary Village because he was doing such a good job taking care of the baby digimon.

"Good job, let me take a look," Jesi said. Hawkmon handed her the map and she unrolled it. At first glance, she thought maybe she was holding it upside down, so she turned it around, then squinted and tipped her head to the side.

"Um...it's a little, confusing," she said, staring at the mass of scribbles that looked like they could have been drawn by Tai.

"Hey! That's the best we could do, we don't have any thumbs!" Tentomon said in defense of their map.

"It's really quite simple," Hawkmon said, spreading the map out on the floor. "There are several basic regions on the island, the snowy mountain region, the desert, the forest, and all around the outside is the beach, of course. The area connecting the forest and the desert is the farming region where the a lot of Gekomon, Otamamon, Floramon, and Mushroomon live."

"There's a feudal village in that area," Biyomon interrupted.

"Yes, yes, I was just getting to that," Hawkmon said, and continued. "This lower region is where we are, in Primary Village. This area has a few small forests and there are some cities and villages scattered here and there.

"Like Toy Town," Tentomon buzzed.

Hawkmon glanced at Tentomon for a moment and finished explaining the map. "Over here at the edge of the forest region is the Yokomon Village and Mihirashi Mountain." Hawkmon pointed out different dots and squiggles drawn on the map as he explained where all the landmarks were.

"This dot over here is the pond where we spent our first night in the digital world with our partners 4 years ago," Tentomon said, pointing at the map with one of his long claws. "I drew that one myself."

"Will you stop interrupting!" Hawkmon yelled as more of an order than a question. Jesi just giggled and tried to pay attention.

"Ehem, and right in the middle of the island is Infinity Mountain which is surrounded on all sides by smaller mountains. Then over here-"

"Oh no!" Biyomon cried, "What if everyone else landed on another continent and we're the only ones on File Island!"

"Oh no! Izzy!" Tentomon yelled.

"I'm sure we didn't get scattered that far apart," Jesi comforted. She then stood up from the floor and dusted herself off.

"This afternoon Flotsymon and I are going to take your map and set out to look for the others," she said.

"What? You can't go all alone! And besides, I need to find Sora!" said Biyomon.

"And Izzy!" added Tentomon.

"We'll all go," said Agumon, who had just walked into the room with Gabumon and Veemon.

"But who will help Elecmon guard Primary Village?" Jesi said.

Elecmon, who had been outside with Patamon poked his head through the door.

"I've been taking care of every single baby in Primary Village since long before I knew all of you, I'm sure I'll manage by myself," he told them.

Later that day, Jesi packed a decent supply of food and water in her backpack, along with the map, and she and all 13 digimon set out towards Infinity Mountain to try and find the other children.

  
  


Tai stepped out of the temple when the grey sun had almost reached its highest point in the sky. Mimi and Sora stood around the water basin, still in their underwear, washing out their clothes with some help from the Gekomon and Otamamon. Kari and Davis sat on a bamboo seat wrapped up in blankets as their clothes were also in the water basin. Davis had managed to keep his nose from bleeding whenever he saw Mimi.

Tai had let Mimi and Sora wash his pants and then put them back on so they could wash out his shirt. Though it was still winter on earth, they were so close to the desert region that the temperature was near 90 degrees. They all wished now that they hadn't been wearing their winter clothes when they had entered the Digital World, and it felt good to get their hot clothes off.

"Hey, where's Matt?" Tai asked the girls.

"He's on the roof," Sora answered. "We offered to wash his clothes for him but he wouldn't take them off."

"Matt's not usually modest..." Tai said and headed for the ladder going up the side of the temple. When he had hoisted himself up he saw Matt sitting on the peak of the roof with his back to him, staring out into the desert.

"Yami?"

Tai walked carefully out to the end of the roof and sat down next to Matt. He glanced down and saw Mimi and Sora leaning over the water basin directly below them.

"Don't you want your clothes washed before we go?" Tai asked.

"I'm fine..."

"Yami, what's wrong?" Tai asked and inched closer to him.

"I don't know, I just feel weird. I've felt like this ever since we found each other at that weird glass pond."

"Did I do something wrong?" Tai said, and leaned over a bit, trying to look into Matt's eyes.

"No, it's not you..." Matt sighed and stood up. "I'm gonna go take a walk, ok?"

"Do you want to be alone?" Tai asked, not getting up.

Matt just nodded and climbed down off the roof. He wandered off into the forest kicking absentmindedly at rocks and sticks scattered along the path. As he walked, he didn't notice a strange darkness start to surround him, much like the darkness that had filled his heart three years ago when the Digidestined were fighting the Dark Masters. He was losing himself again, except this time there was no one around to bring him back. He was alone in a forest, or so he thought.

Matt sighed again and quickly ran his fingers through his hair, and suddenly he heard a voice calling out to him. It was faint, and for a moment Matt thought he had imagined hearing anything.

"Tai? Is that you?" he said softly.

"Matt..."

He tipped his head up a little and glanced back and forth, straining to hear who the voice belonged to. He turned slightly, to see a figure stepping out of the darkness.

"TK!" Matt smiled instinctively, momentarily forgetting about everything that had happened over the past few months. He stepped over to greet TK, but stopped a few yards away from him. He looked so...strange.

"Hello, brother." TK had been staring down at the ground, but now lifted his head up to meet Matt's gaze. He had that look on his face, the almost evil smile from Matt's dream. His eyelids were half closed, and his normally sparkling blue eyes appeared empty and hollow.

"TK...are you alright?" Matt asked hesitantly.

"Are you happy to see me, Matt?" TK asked, in a calm but somehow unsettling voice.

"Of course I am, but wait, are you all alone? Wasn't there anyone with you?" Matt said.

"Yes, the others....They're coming."

"Who's with you?" Matt asked him, taking a step closer. Even though he was talking to his own brother, he felt like he was having a conversation with a dark stranger he had never seen before.

"They're coming," TK repeated.

Matt raised his eyebrow and stepped back again. Something was not right.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked again.

"I saw you in the woods last night," TK said, and cocked his head to one side slightly. The same smile was still plastered across his face.

"When? Why didn't you say something to us? We've been looking everywhere for you and everyone else."

"Did you enjoy it?" TK said.

"What? What are you talking about?" Matt asked. He began to feel the tiniest bit nauseous, as if a part of him knew something terrible was about to happen.

"I'm curious, brother," TK said. His smile began to broaden a little. "Did you enjoy it with Tai as much as you did with me?"

Matt's eyes widened in horror. He hadn't just heard that...this couldn't be happening.

"You...you saw us?" he said, stuttering over his words. He wasn't even sure what to say.

"Yes, I watched. It was very interesting. The two of you moving as one, your sweat dripping onto Tai's body, pushing into him, making him cry out in ecstasy..."

Matt stepped back again, he opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Half of him was screaming at him to punch the living daylights out of his brother, and the other half was begging him to run away.

"Wasn't I good enough for you Matt? Screwing your little brother wasn't enough so now you have to screw your best friend?"

"NO!" Matt screamed. "I love Tai!! You're not my brother!! TK would never act this way!!"

TK's smile widened into a grin and his eyes flashed blood red. The dark aura that had formed whirled around him.

"Run away, brother..." said a voice that was not TK's.

Matt blinked, causing his eyes to overflow with hot tears, and he obeyed. He turned on the spot and started sprinting through the forest as fast as possible.

He ran until he thought his legs were going to give out, and finally stopped. He leaned with his head against a tree, panting and sobbing. His face was covered with sweat and tears.

Then he heard another voice cry out his name. His stood straight up and gasped, scared out of his wits.

"Matt!!" Before he knew exactly what was going on, Joe burst through the bushes and stopped as his feet, breathing heavily.

"I'm so...glad...we finally...found you!" Joe said between breaths.

Matt quickly turned away from him and dried his face off with his sleeves. He would never be able to live down the shame of letting someone other than Tai or Gabumon see him cry.

"Joe! Wait up!" Yolei called from behind the bushes Joe had just run through.

"Hey, Matt, what's wrong with you? You look like you've just seen a ghost," Joe said after finally catching his breath.

"I thought you were someone else..." Matt said softly.

"Hi Matt!" 

He looked up to see Yolei and Cody entering the clearing.

"It's great to see you. We didn't think we'd EVER find anyone else," Cody said.

"Yeah," Matt just smiled and nodded.

  
  


Later, the group was gathered around the fire pit back at the temple. It was early afternoon now. They discussed with Joe, Yolei and Cody where they had been and their trip through the desert. They were so enthralled in their conversation, no one noticed Matt was not among them.

"Have you seen anyone else?" Sora asked.

"You're the first ones we've met up with," Yolei said.

"I don't know about any of you, but I'm starving," Cody said, rubbing his growling stomach.

"Oh, we haven't eaten all day!" Yolei said.

"Hey, there's a whole ton of food inside and the Gekomon said we can eat all we want!" Davis said.

As they all stood up, Tai glanced around quickly, wondering where Matt had gone off to.

Kari was first to the temple, and opened up the door. The site she saw when she looked inside made her gasp.

"Oh!"

Tai stepped up behind his little sister and now knew where his boyfriend was. He cried out,

"Yami!"

Tai ran over and fell to his knees next to Matt. He grabbed Matt's shoulders and started shaking him frantically.

"He's passed out!"

Matt's upper body was bent over, sprawled out on the table. His face was pressed against the hard surface of the tabletop. Scattered all around him were empty sake bottles and tiny dishes.

"Oh, Matt!" Sora rushed over next to her friends and helped Tai try to wake him up.

"Where did he get all this!?" Tai screamed at the Gekomon who had just hurried into the temple to see what all the commotion was.

"We keep the sake for special ceremonies only!" one of the Gekomon said, waving his hands in front of him.

Tai was sobbing and almost starting to hyperventilate. He picked up one sake bottle after another, they were all empty. He clenched his teeth and flung the bottle he was holding against the wall, causing it to shatter into pieces.

"He drank all of them!" he continued to scream.

"He's drunk himself into unconsciousness..." Cody said soft enough so Tai couldn't hear him.

Tai leaned closer to Matt's body and shook him harder.

"Yami! YAMI, WAKE UP!"

Sora grabbed onto Tai's wrist and pulled him away from Matt slightly.

"Tai, stop it! He's just blacked out, the best thing to do is get him in bed and wait for him to wake up on his own."

"No!" Tai yelled at her. He yanked his hand away from Sora and started shaking Matt again. "Yami! Yami, please, wake up!!"

"Tai, just bring him to bed!" Sora urged.

"Leave me alone! How did this happen!?" he looked up at the others still standing in the doorway, unsure of what to do. "Did one of you say something to him!?" Tai squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. "Who did this!? WHO DID THIS!?"

Tai felt a hand strike his face suddenly. He looked up, in shock, to see Kari, his own sister, standing over him, her hand still outstretched.

"Kari..."

"Dude, I never thought I'd see Kari slap Tai..." Davis whispered.

"I would have expected better from you, Tai!" Kari scolded him. "Now, if you love Matt you'll bring him to bed right now!" she ordered.

Tai lowered his eyes, unable to look his sister in the eye anymore.

"I'm sorry..." was all he managed to say.

  
  


"We were planning on leaving for the village today, but it looks like we're going to be spending another night here," Sora sighed.

Kari, Sora, Yolei and Mimi were sitting on the beds in the bedroom the girls had slept in the night before. Davis, Cody and Joe had made themselves some lunch and were sitting around the table in the main hall of the temple.

Mimi sat behind Yolei on the bed, brushing her long purple hair.

"Well, I think we should just leave Matt and Tai here and go on without them," she said.

"Mimi! How could you say something like that?" Sora asked.

"Well, it's their fault that we're stuck here, the two of them have been causing trouble this whole time, it's like they don't want us to succeed."

"Mimi..."

Kari looked back and forth between Mimi and Sora for a moment and began thinking hard.

"Sora, can I speak with you for a minute?" Kari asked quietly.

Sora and Kari got up to leave the room, and Mimi glared at them as they walked out. In the hallway, Kari whispered to Sora,

"Does it seem like Mimi is acting...not like her normal self? She's been so touchy since we got here, it seems like she gets upset about everything."

"I was actually thinking about how strange Tai's been acting. Ever since we passed that glass covered pond, we've been acting different. I can feel it too, it's like there's something controlling us," Sora said.

"Do you think whatever caused all this chaos in the digital world could be affecting us too?"

"I don't know..." Sora sighed. "I hope that digimon the Gekomon told us about isn't playing with our heads. If that's true, what chance do we have?" She thought. Sora glanced over to the boy's room, where Tai had been sitting over Matt's bed this whole time.

"Matt, why'd you have to go and do that? Did something happen to you in the woods?" he said softly.

"Nng...I think I'm going to throw up..." Matt rubbed the side of his head, having just woken up a few minutes before.

"Do you want me to hold your hair back?"

Matt glanced up at him and smiled. He took Tai's hand and held it tightly, kissing each of his fingertips.

"I love you so much..." he whispered.

Tai leaned over onto the bed and rested his head on the pillow next to Matt's.

"Yami, what happened? Why would you do something like that?"

"I saw TK..."

Tai sat up again, shocked. 

"Why didn't you say something!? Are any of the others with him?"

"I...don't know...there was something wrong."

"What?"

"I think I might have imagined it...I don't even know if I really saw him at all...."

"Yamato..."

  
  


"Are you sure it was them!?" Jesi yelled, the wind blowing her hair in every direction. Flotsymon had digivolved to Kasurymon, and was carrying Jesi high above the surface of the Digital World. Tentomon, Patamon, Biyomon, and Hawkmon were circling around the area, keeping an eye out for the other children, and the non-flying Digimon were keeping up on foot, except for Wormmon. His legs were so short, Jesi had taken him up with her and was holding him in her arms. Of course, being that he was Ken's partner, she favored him over the rest, but couldn't let anyone know that.

"Without a doubt!" Tentomon answered.

Jesi grinned excitedly, and Kasurymon began to descend. Her feet touched down at the base of the mountain and Jesi hopped to the ground. Still carrying Wormmon, she began running towards the spot where Tentomon and the other flying digimon had landed. Kasurymon de-digivolved and Flotsymon scampered after her.

"Which way?" she asked.

"They're in this direction," Biyomon chirped, pointing through the woods.

"Ok, Hawkmon, Biyomon, go back and find the others and lead them here," Jesi instructed.

She raced after Tentomon and Patamon through the woods, until she saw a human coming into view. When she could see the orange shirt and red hair, she shrieked,

"IZZY!!" 

Izzy turned around suddenly, just in time to see someone come crashing into him, knocking him to the ground. Wormmon went flying.

"AGH!!"

"Jesi!"

In the middle of hugging Izzy, Jesi turned around to see Ken standing over them.

"Ken!" She grinned and jumped up, Ken caught her in his arms and spun her around.

"Would someone mind helping me up!?" Izzy yelled, still on the ground.

"Izzy!!" 

Izzy sat up to see Tentomon hovering over him. He grabbed onto Tentomon's claws and stood himself up.

"I'm sorry, Izzy, I just got so excited to see you," Jesi said, Ken's arms still around her.

"It's alright," he said, dusting himself off. "It's good to see you..." he said softly.

Jesi stepped over and gave Izzy a proper hug, and he held her tightly to him. The two best friends had not seen each other in over a year.

"I've missed you so much," she said.

Wormmon crawled over to Ken, and he picked him up. 

"How long have you been looking for us?" Ken asked.

"We just left this morning," Wormmon said. "Is anyone else with you?"

"Yes, TK, but..." Ken looked over towards the dense forest at the base of the mountain.

"What's wrong, Ken?" Wormmon asked.

"He's wandered off by himself, I think there's something wrong with him."

Ken looked back over at Jesi and Izzy, who were now talking with Tentomon, and Patamon was perched on Jesi's head.

"Jesi, are you all alone?" Ken asked.

"No, I've got all the Digimon with me, but if you mean are there any other Digidestined with me, you're the first humans I've seen since I got here."

"Did you leave at the same time we did?"

"Well, I called Mimi and we left at the same time, it was almost 9 am in California when I went through the digi-port," she answered.

"So we all left at the same time, because it was about 2 in the morning in Japan," Izzy said.

"Where's TK?" Patamon said suddenly.

"What?" Jesi said, looking up at the Patamon on her head.

"Ken just said TK was with them,"

"How do you know?" Jesi asked.

"You think I couldn't hear him with these huge ears?"

"He went on ahead of us, he's off in the woods somewhere," Ken said.

"I need to find him, Teeeeekkkaaayyy!" Patamon said, and took off. 

"I'll go with you!" Tentomon said, buzzing after him.

Jesi sat down in the grass and Flotsymon climbed into her lap. She patted her blue Digimon on the head.

"The others are on the way, I can hear them," she said.

"I guess you have pretty big ears too, huh?" Jesi said to her. Flotsymon just twitched her ear and looked behind her, the group of Digimon that were on foot had almost reached their location.

Izzy and Ken sat down next to her.

"There's something wrong..." Jesi turned towards the mountain, not even knowing she was looking in the direction of the glass covered pond. "Can you feel it?"

Ken nodded.

"I don't understand, how come everyone else can sense something going on except me?" Izzy complained.

"Be happy you can't feel it," Jesi said. She tilted her head up and held her breath, listening. "There's someone out there, watching us."

"You know, everyone started acting weird right after we passed that peculiar pond," Izzy said. "I wonder...TK said he felt a presence, like something that was only half there."

Jesi gasped, "He knows..."

"Jesi, what's wrong, do you mean TK?" Ken asked.

"No...him, Monomanemon! Flotsymon, do you remember that digimon Elecmon told us about that could control people's minds?" she said.

"Yes, a whole bunch of Digimon have been talking about that guy, but I've never seen him. Some digimon think it's just a myth somebody made up to explain what's going on."

"Like an urban legend," Izzy said.

Jesi shook her head, "He's here, I can feel him all around." She nudged Flotsymon off her lap and stood up. "We need to find TK, right away. He's not safe all by himself."

"I wish I could contact Gennai somehow..." Izzy said as he and Ken got up to follow Jesi.

"Hey! Don't forget us!" they heard someone call. From the woods emerged the rest of the Digimon, with Agumon in the lead.

"Alright, let's go," said Ken. The group set off into the dark forest to find TK and the others. 


	19. Chimayou

Chapter Nineteen - Chimayou  
  
"Does he even care...?" TK sighed and walked through the forest, his head hanging down, staring at the ground. He wasn't even paying attention to where he was going anymore.   
  
"Why did I even come? I should have stayed home... not that things are any better there."  
  
He was walking the same path through the woods that all the others had followed, towards the Gekomon's temple. The darkness surrounded him, he knew his brother was out there somewhere.  
  
"He never even said he was sorry..."  
  
"That's because he's not sorry."  
  
TK gasped and looked up. Tai was standing in front of him, leaning against a tree, smirking at him.  
  
"Tai... he told you?"  
  
"Matt tells me everything, little TK."  
  
TK turned away, he could feel himself starting to cry. "What's wrong with him!?" he choked out. "What's wrong with me? I should hate him, but I don't..."  
  
"He hates you, little TK," Tai said.  
  
TK looked back up. Tai was still smirking, but he looked different, his eyes were red instead of brown.  
  
"Tai... my brother would never say that!"   
  
The presence that TK could not see felt slightly frustrated hearing these words. The brothers' bond was so strong, how could this boy still defend someone who had done something so horrible to him? How could they still love each other?  
  
"You didn't think your brother would ever rape you either, did you?"  
  
TK clenched his fist and dove for Tai, but he stepped out of the way too quickly, causing TK to fall flat on his stomach.  
  
He coughed and held his stomach as he got to his knees, the wind had been knocked out of him.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" he gasped, "You're not Tai!"  
  
"That's what you think..." Tai hissed. TK blinked, and when he looked back up at the tree, Tai was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"This is crazy... I'm losing my mind." TK got to his feet and stumbled.  
  
"Teeekkaaay!!"  
  
He turned around suddenly to see Patamon flying towards him at top speed.   
  
"Patamon!" He caught his Digimon against his chest and hugged him.   
  
"I've been looking all over for you, TK," Patamon said, still being squeezed.  
  
"I've missed you so much, it's great to see you!"  
  
"IZZY! We've found him!" Tentomon called behind him. He had just buzzed through the trees.  
  
TK looked up and a few seconds later, Izzy, Ken and Jesi came crashing through the brush towards them, followed by 11 Digimon.  
  
"TK!" Jesi cried and threw her arms around him.  
  
"Hi, Jesi..." he said quietly.  
  
"How are you? How have things been with you and Kari?"  
  
What a question, he hadn't even had the will to leave his own apartment since February. After all the psychiatrists and doctors, his father leaving town without a trace, finally being put on medication, he was surprised he had survived the whole thing. The first time he had seen Kari since mid winter break was at Izzy's house, right before they had gone through the digi-port. He never even answered any of her letters or phone calls. How could he respond to a question like that?  
  
He didn't, TK just sighed and looked down at the ground.  
  
"What's wrong? Ken told me you were sick," she said.  
  
"It's just stuff..." TK said.  
  
Jesi decided it was best not to push any further.  
  
"We're heading towards the feudal village," she said, taking hold of TK's hand. "Tentomon said it's just a few miles away, ok?"  
  
TK smiled a bit and nodded. "Let's go."  
  
"Are you feeling better?" Tai asked, his arm around Matt, rubbing his shoulder gently. "You don't still feel like you're going to puke, do you?"  
  
"Nah, I'm ok now, my head just hurts a little." They had moved outside so Matt could get some fresh air, and were on one of the logs around the fire pit.  
  
Tai kissed his cheek softly and rubbed his stomach.  
  
"We're leaving for the village in the morning," Tai said "Are you gonna make it?"  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
Tai started rocking his boyfriend back and forth slowly and humming 'Ashita wa Motto', the song Sora and Mimi had sang the night before. Matt smiled and chuckled softly,  
  
"Tai, you sound like a girl when you sing."  
  
Tai sat up and glared at him, but was smiling at the same time.  
  
"Hey, watch it, at least I don't look like a girl."  
  
Matt's eyes popped open wider and he glanced down at Tai, who was grinning slyly.  
  
"I look like a girl, huh?"  
  
Tai nodded.  
  
Matt narrowed his eyes and pushed Tai off the log, then rolled on top of him. He started tickling Tai's sides, causing him to giggle uncontrollably.  
  
"I'll teach you, Kamiya!"  
  
As Matt and Tai were busy getting in a tickle battle, Jesi, TK, Ken, Izzy and the Digimon emerged from the woods and stepped into the clearing.  
  
"If I'm not mistaken, that's Matt's butt sticking up in the air from behind that log," Gabumon said.  
  
Matt stopped for a moment and sat up,  
  
"Gabumon?"  
  
"Matt!"  
  
"Gabumon!!" Matt got up and ran over to his Digimon, and Tai sat up and looked over the log.  
  
"Hey guys!" he shouted.  
  
Matt kissed Gabumon on the nose and hugged him.  
  
"Oh Gabumon, it's been so long, I've missed you so much!"  
  
"I have missed you too, Matt."  
  
"Tai!" Agumon ran over and jumped over the log on top of Tai.  
  
"Hey buddy! How's it going?" Tai said.  
  
"Well..." Agumon looked around at the grey sky, and grey sun, "pretty good, considering."  
  
"Yeah... considering," Tai glanced around and echoed his Digimon's words.  
  
"Hi everyone! Glad you could finally make it!" The group turned to see Mimi poking her head out the door of the temple, waving.  
  
"Hi, Mimi!" Ken, Izzy and Jesi said in unison. TK just smiled a bit and nodded slightly.  
  
"When did you get here, just now?" Mimi asked, stepping outside.  
  
"We just arrived," Izzy answered.  
  
After a few moments of chatting, Mimi announced,  
  
"Boy, after that big breakfast I really need to use the little girl's room. Er... does anyone happen to know where it is?"  
  
"There is no toilet, Mimi, you're just going to have to make do with the bushes," Tai said.  
  
"Ew! I HATE doing that! It's so... unsanitary."  
  
"What's the problem? Guys do it all the time and we don't mind," Tai responded.  
  
"Hmph, well I can't do that like you do!" She grumbled, standing up.  
  
Matt glanced at Mimi and grinned.  
  
"And you, shut up!" Mimi growled, pointing at Matt. Matt and Tai laughed softly as Mimi stormed off into the woods.  
  
"I'm not sure if she should go off by herself..." Jesi said.  
  
"Why, do you want to go with her?" Matt said.  
  
"No, it's just..." Jesi looked around her and glanced up at the mountain. "There is an evil Digimon in the area."  
  
"What!? An evil Digimon!?" Tai said loudly, and put his fists up.  
  
Mimi hummed to herself lightly from behind a tree until she heard a rustling in the bushes behind her.  
  
"Oh... who's there?" She said.  
  
"Mimi,"  
  
Mimi gasped and stood up, fixing her skirt. "Sora! Don't sneak up on me like that."  
  
"Mimi, I'm glad I found you alone," Sora said, grasping Mimi's hands tightly.  
  
"Really? What's the matter?" Mimi asked, somewhat suspicious.  
  
"I need to talk to you, it's very important." Sora had her gaze fixed on Mimi's face and wasn't even blinking. "Something very, very bad is happening." She squeezed Mimi's hands even tighter than before, until they started to hurt.  
  
Mimi tried to loosen Sora's grip on her hands, but she held tightly. "Sora, why are you acting so strange? You're frightening me..."  
  
"Something terrible is on the horizon."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Insurrection..."  
  
"I don't even know what that means!" Mimi whined, still trying to get Sora to let go of her.  
  
"Your suspicions were right all along, Mimi! Matt and Tai are the real enemy. You know you've noticed that they've been trying to break up the group since we got here. They especially want to do away with you, Mimi. They hate you, they want to destroy you!" Sora said, moving her face closer to Mimi's.  
  
"But they're our friends! I mean, maybe they've been acting weird but... They wouldn't! Would they...?"  
  
"They've been acting so hostile towards you, haven't you noticed?"  
  
"Well... I guess, but..."  
  
"Haven't you noticed!?" Sora said, almost yelling. "Remember what you said earlier, Mimi, they don't want us to succeed!" this was not a question, asking Mimi if she remembered, it was a command. Then, for some reason, her words seemed so convincing. Mimi tried to tell herself this couldn't be true... but everything Sora said suddenly became absolute truth.   
  
"We need to destroy them before they destroy us! They can't be trusted." Sora insisted.  
  
"But... why would they do that...?" Mimi interrupted.  
  
"They can't be trusted!" Sora repeated, with more force this time.  
  
"You're right..."  
  
Meanwhile, while Mimi was alone in the woods, the Digidestined who had been inside the temple now came out to greet Ken, Jesi, TK, and Izzy.  
  
"Ken!" Davis ran out and threw his arms around his best friend. Ken hugged Davis tightly.  
  
"It's so good to see you, Davis."  
  
"This is great, now we're all back together!" Davis grinned. Ken smiled and nodded in agreement.  
  
"Yami, why haven't you said anything to TK?" Tai whispered. Matt's expression grew solemn and he simply glanced down at the ground. TK was sitting with Patamon and Kari on another log across the fire-pit.  
  
Now what was he to do? TK was here now, they wouldn't be able to avoid each other for much longer.  
  
Later that day, the sun was starting to set and the fire was blazing once again. When Mimi had returned earlier, she was not acting like her usual self. She avoided Matt and Tai and glared at them numerous times throughout the afternoon. She would only carry on conversation with Palmon.  
  
Kari and Sora whispered to each other while the others roasted their dinner of fresh water fish over the fire.   
  
"Mimi is acting to strange," Kari said. "Even worse than before. What could be going on with her?" Sora glanced over at Mimi and sighed, very puzzled.  
  
"So Elecmon told you about this evil Digimon Monomanemon too, huh?" Tai said to Jesi, who was sitting next to Ken.  
  
"Yes, it's so frightening to think he can control our minds," she said softly.  
  
Kari looked up from her conversation with Sora. "You can sense the presence too, can't you?"  
  
Jesi nodded.  
  
"Well don't worry about him, when we find him, we'll just destroy him!" said Agumon. "We've never met an evil Digimon we couldn't beat!"  
  
"But he may be able to trick us into attacking someone we love!" Gabumon said. "He could make us fight against each other."  
  
"We're all in grave danger..." TK said. "Little by little, we're all going to lose our minds...." Kari reached over and placed her hand on TK's, and Patamon looked up at his partner with great concern.  
  
"This is awful," Kari thought. "He's so hopeless. When the keeper of the crest of hope loses all the hope he had in his heart, then what happens to us?"  
  
"We don't even know if this Monomanemon can effect humans! Let's not jump to any conclusions," said Tai.  
  
"If he only knew what I saw in the woods... if he could only understand," Matt said to himself.  
  
"All right," Tai announced, after a little while of discussion. "Tomorrow we're heading to the feudal village to see what we can find out about this Monomanemon guy. For now I guess everyone just needs to make them selves comfortable for the night." Tai looked around at the group of Digidestined and Digimon sitting around him.  
  
"There's only one problem, there are 26 of us now, 13 people and 13 Digimon and only six beds. We're going to have to double up on beds and some of you are going to have to sleep on the floor for tonight." he instructed.  
  
"It's better than sleeping on the ground," Yolei commented.  
  
"I'll be all right sleeping on the floor," Cody said.  
  
"Yeah, I'll sleep on the floor too," Joe said, "It's not like I'll be getting any sleep anyway. I'll just be up all night, worrying about being attacked by a mind controlling Digimon and having a nervous breakdown, nothing new!"  
  
"Boy Joe, you really know how to relax," Gomamon said, looking up at his partner.  
  
"Somebody can have my bed," Davis said "I can sleep pretty much anywhere!"  
  
"Too bad nobody around you can sleep with all that snoring," Gatomon mumbled.  
  
"I'm not giving up my soft bed!" Mimi said, turning up her nose to the others.  
  
"No one was expecting you to, Mimi..." Tai said, glaring at her. She flashed him the most awful look, narrowing her eyes. "Well," Tai continued, "I don't mind sharing a bed with Matt of course." Matt smiled a bit and placed his hand on top of Tai's.  
  
"TK can share with me," Kari said.  
  
"Really!? I mean, sure, Kari." TK could feel himself start to blush slightly.  
  
"Well, I guess everybody else can just fight over the beds. But try to get a good night's sleep, we have a long hike ahead of us in the morning," Tai concluded.  
  
That evening, Ken exited the temple to find Jesi sitting on a log by the fire pit all alone. The fire was still blazing, she sat staring into it.  
  
"You shouldn't be out here by yourself," he said.  
  
She didn't look up at him, but replied, "I'll be all right, for now anyway..."  
  
He sat beside her and looked at the fire with her.  
  
"He's all around us, I can tell. And TK and Matt, I think there's something wrong with them."  
  
"They're probably just scared like the rest of us," Ken answered.  
  
"It's something else..." She leaned against him and almost began crying. The feeling of deceit and evil in the air was suffocating, almost overpowering. "Ken, I don't think we can win this time. What can we do to defeat an enemy that we can't see?"  
  
"Or can see, but not even know it..." he said solemnly.  
  
"Something terrible is happening in this place," she said. They sat together for a few moments until the flash of something running through the trees alerted them.  
  
"Do you think it's one of the Gekomon?" She said, growing apprehensive.  
  
"I don't know. Stay here," he said, standing up. "I'm going to go see."  
  
"You shouldn't go alone."  
  
"I'll be all right, if I'm not back in 5 minutes you can send a search party after me."  
  
Ken and Jesi smiled a bit despite their fear, and he walked off into the woods just behind the temple.  
  
He padded slowly through the trees, knowing that the eyes of something which could see him, but that he could not see, were upon him. Suddenly a twig cracked a few meters in front of him, causing him to jump.  
  
"Who's there...?" He asked quietly into the darkness.  
  
"Ken, it's ok, it's just me." A tall blonde figure stepped closer to him.  
  
"Matt, what are you doing out here?"  
  
"Nature called," he said, smiling a bit.  
  
"Oh, Jesi and I thought there was an evil Digimon out here."  
  
"Nope, just me." He leaned against a tree, a strange grin plastered across his face.  
  
"She's really something, huh?"  
  
"Jesi? Yes, she's wonderful."  
  
"I know she really gave me a thrill."  
  
Ken raised an eyebrow, not understanding what Matt meant by this.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I mean, she's an animal in bed, you should know right?"  
  
Ken's eyes opened wider and he was unsure of what to say for a moment.   
  
"In bed...?"  
  
"Don't tell me you haven't slept together yet."  
  
Ken thought back to the night they had spent in the woods a year ago. When they had gotten so intimate, but decided they were still much to young to take the final step. Then he remembered when he had found Matt at her apartment. But she had always told him that nothing had happened, that she would never give herself to anyone but him. Did this mean she had been lying all this time?  
  
"But, she always told me-"  
  
Matt cut him off, "Oh, so you mean you haven't, huh?" He stepped closer and leaned towards him. "It's a shame, she's really wild."  
  
Ken started to become angry, Matt had never acted this way to him before.   
  
"I don't believe you!" He growled. "Jesi would never lie to me. Why are you acting like this?"  
  
"It's a real shame..." Matt grinned and flipped Ken's hair lightly, then ran his finger down Ken's cheek.  
  
He stumbled backwards, "Don't touch me! What's the matter with you!?"  
  
"Ken!"  
  
He looked back for a moment and saw Jesi stepping into the woods, looking around for him. When he turned back to face Matt, he was gone.  
  
He gasped when he felt someone touch his arm. He spun around quickly.  
  
"Ken, what's wrong? Did you find out who was back here?" Jesi asked him.  
  
He thought for a moment, did she really lie to him?  
  
"Jesi... you told me you had never..." Ken swallowed nervously.  
  
"Never what?"  
  
"Matt was just here... he told me that night he was at your house..." Ken looked down at the forest floor. "He said you had slept with him."  
  
Jesi stared at him in disbelief. "Ken! I've never done that with anyone! And when I do it will be with you!" She took his hand and he looked back up.   
  
"Why would he say something like that?"  
  
Suddenly, something dawned on him. He glanced back at the fire still roaring by the temple and began pulling Jesi back with him.  
  
"Ken! What's wrong?"  
  
"We need to get out of this forest right away, it's not safe."  
  
They hurried back to the clearing and Ken stormed inside the temple. Jesi hurried after him as he walked swiftly down the hallway and into the boy's room.   
  
There was Tai, lying in one of the three beds with Matt by his side. They were both sound asleep.  
  
Jesi looked into the room and saw Matt sleeping there.  
  
"But I thought you said..."  
  
"I know, apparently that wasn't him I was speaking to." Ken turned on one of the gas lamps by the door.  
  
"Everyone, wake up!"  
  
The thirteen children and their Digimon sat around the table in the main room of the Gekomon's temple a few minutes later, all had been woken from their sleep except Ken and Jesi. Davis was still half asleep, and Yolei had to keep shaking him when he dozed off and started to fall forward every few minutes.  
  
"All right, no one is allowed to go anywhere alone from now on, not even to go to the bathroom," Tai announced when Ken had finished recounting everything that had just happened in the woods. Matt sat silently staring at his hands across from TK, who was doing the same, like a mirror image.  
  
"Ew, I don't want to go to the bathroom with anyone!" Mimi whined. She had been protesting everything Tai or Matt had said since that evening.  
  
"Just have Palmon go with you, Mimi," Sora suggested, but was met only with a "Hmph" from Mimi.  
  
"I think the only thing we can do now is wait for this Monomanemon guy to come to us, that is until we find out where to go looking for him," Tai continued. "This will be our base from now on since the Gekomon promised the clearing is sacred and Monomanemon won't come inside the temple."  
  
"He's here right now," TK said, "all around..."  
  
"That's crazy!" Davis said, starting to wake up. "How can a Digimon be everywhere at once? You mean he's just floatin' around like air or somethin'?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand..." TK sighed. Kari placed a hand on his shoulder. She knew there was more going on here than TK would say.  
  
"Ok, tomorrow half of us are going to Little Edo for supplies since we're running out of food. And we're going to try and find out more information about Monomanemon, anything can help. I want the girls to stay here in case we run into anything dangerous on the way." Tai said.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Yolei said, "You think we can't handle it?  
  
"Uuhh... I didn't mean it like that," Tai said, scratching the side of his head. "I just don't want anyone to get scared and run off!"  
  
"Scared! I don't know the meaning of the word!" Yolei got up and raised her index finger in the air like Izzy preaching the Law of Conservation of Energy and shouted, "I am woman, hear me roar!"  
  
A huge sweat drop formed on Hawkmon's head and everyone laughed in unison (hey, this is anime, people) except TK and Matt, who still sat like bookends facing each other.  
  
"Ok, ok Yolei, you can go to the village if it's that important to you!" Tai said. "Now everyone go get some sleep, but I want everyone to take turns keeping watch for the rest of the night."  
  
"Gomamon and I will take the first watch," Joe said. "I've already woken up 14 times thinking my organs were being sucked out anyway."  
  
"Hey... who said I wasn't sleeping?" Gomamon grumbled.  
  
Joe and Gomamon sat by the door of the temple with blankets and some hot tea to keep them warm as everyone shuffled back to their beds or sleeping bags. Kari led TK back and he walked very slowly, his eyes lowered towards the floor. Matt was the last to rise and Tai placed his hand lovingly on his boyfriend's shoulder.  
  
"Yami, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing..." Matt sighed. But if he had said what he really wanted to the answer would have been everything. He had never been so confused or scared in his life. If the person he'd seen in the woods had not been his brother, but this mind controlling Digimon, then why did the words stick with him. He wished he could shake the image from his mind, all the things he said...  
  
"How come you won't talk to TK?" The brunette asked as they walked back to bed.  
  
"I can't..."  
  
"Hey, I have an idea, how about tomorrow morning you can just apologize for whatever you and TK fought about and then everything will be all right! I'm sure he's forgiven you by now, it's been almost two months." Tai smiled a little to try and cheer Matt up.  
  
The blonde glanced up at Tai. "Apologize...?" Tai still had no clue, when he had confessed to hurting TK, he must have given the brown eyed boy the wrong idea, making him think this was all over some huge disagreement. If he only knew... if he had any idea what had really happened.  
  
"It's not that easy, Tai."  
  
"Matt... I know it's been tearing you apart holding all this inside, why can't you tell me? Maybe I could talk to TK for you."  
  
"You have no idea what you're talking about! If I could just say I was sorry and end all this suffering I would have done it a long time ago!" Matt yelled and collapsed onto the bed as they entered the bedroom. He held his face in his hands and could feel hot tears starting to sear his eyes.  
  
"I'm just trying to help..." Tai whispered, slightly hurt from being yelled at.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry..." Matt choked out. "I want to explain I just... can't."  
  
Tai put his arm around him and held the sobbing boy to his chest. He noted to himself that Matt had been losing a lot of weight in the past weeks, his well toned muscles had begun to fade away and he was becoming extremely thin.  
  
"Just try,"  
  
"I have tried, I don't know how to say it... I just can't put it into words." He knew he could, he knew exactly what to say, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.  
  
Tai sighed. "Promise you'll tell me when you're ready..."  
  
"I will," he answered, but then thought, "If I'm ever ready..."  
  
They lied down together and Tai pulled the blankets over the two of them. They faced each other and Tai brushed the last of Matt's tears off his cheeks with his fingers. He kissed his pale boyfriend's lips softly and waited for him to close his eyes. When he was sure Matt was sleeping, he held his hand tightly and allowed himself to drift off.  
  
------------  
  
I wrote this chapter a VERY long time ago and didn't even realize until today I had never uploaded it. The chapter title is Japanese, meaning 'to go insane or lose one's mind' I don't think the chapter is even completed the way I wanted it to bed, I just wanted to post something for all the readers who have been waiting for this fic to be continued. I promise, I will finish it someday and it's going to be spectacular. I'm really sorry for everyone who has been waiting for so long.  
  
------------ 


End file.

Digimon, Angst, Suspense