Naruto 1. Welcome to the gameshow thing

Kai-chan - Alrighty. It's 6 am and I'm pumped after reading Ask The Yaoi Couples or something like that. So I've decided to do something of the sort.

Sasuke - What is it this time. Everytime I get into those types of stories...(shudder)they make me do things...things I don't wanna do.(sulks)

Kai-chan - Stop being emo, Sasu-chan. Anyways, as you read in the summary, you can ask or make the characters from Naruto do **_anything_**...unless it involves Sasusaku.

Sasuke - OH THANK GOD!!!

Kai-chan - Yeah...Sadly, for now it seems that I have no reviews to ask questions with. (Light bulb turns on...flicker..flicker...turns off. Hits it. Light bulb turns back on.) I'll use my own questions for now. Don't blame me if they are totally retarded (if I offend anyone I apologize), but I need to get them out of my system.

All - I gotsa baaaadddd feeling about this...

Kai-chan - (chibi peace sign) YOU DAMN WELL SHOULD!!!

Hinata - K-k-kowaii...(anime tears)

Kai-chan - Poor Hina-chan!!! I sorry...

Itachi - Baka.

Kai-chan - I know you are but what am I.

Shino - Since no one here is mature enough to remember, but Kaiyuri-san, you have a show(story, but whateva) to run.

Kai-chan - Tee hee...I forgot.

All - (sweatdrop)

Shikamaru - Hey...um guys. If she's this stupid about something so trivial...imagine what she will be like here, since, you know, she controls our life and such. You think we should suck up?

Kai-chan - Mwahahaha! Too late Deer-chan(Shika). You are all doomed! DOOMED!! Kukukuku...

**First question:**

**To Naruto: Are you just stupid, or did someone dropped you on the head as a child? I mean, come on! You haven't noticed why poor Hina-chan acts weird around you? I mean it's really obvious!**

Naruto - TELL ME!!!

Kai-chan - It's 'cause-

Hinata - (Scary evil look across her face with murderous intent.) Now, you weren't planning on saying something about me were you?!

Kai-chan - N-nope...wait a second...I'm not afraid of you!

Naruto - But I sure as hell am!(runs away screaming, looking at Hinata)

Kai-chan - Naruto...you're about to run into a(THUMP)...wall. -.-'

Hinata - Aww, fudge. I scared him away.

**Second question:**

**To Hinata: Why don't you just accept your feelings?!(points finger) You obviously love Sasu-chan, but you are just too shy to admit it!**

Hinata - N-no I don't.

Kai-chan - (circular black and white background spins) Yes you do! Yes you do!

Hinata - (Hyptmotized) Yes I do...I do love Sasu-chan.

Kai-chan - (cough)Anyways...(yells) I need Gaara over here!!!

Gaara** -** Whaddya want.

Kai-chan - Tee hee! You look like a fuzzy panda!

Gaara - Yea...I think you need to call the nice men in white.

Kai-chan - (Takes out white fan and Thwumps Gaara in the back of the head.) You moron, I'm hyper, not insane! Just for that, you don't get a cookie.

Gaara - I wanna cookie! Please.

Kai-chan - No.

Gaara - (Chibi big eyes) Pwease..

Kai-chan - (Blushing and trembling) KAWAII!!!! Hai! You get the cookie.

Gaara - Yay! (Stuffs)

**Third Question:**

**To Gaara: If you hate your dad so much, why not just kill him and run?**

Gaara - (Swallows cookie) Well, if I killed the kazekage, then I would have caused an uproar and let ultimately to either my demise or many others.

Kai-chan - I-I-I knew that...

(POOF)

Deidara - Hello, yeah.

Kai-chan - (SQUEALS) Dei Dei-kun! You're back! (Glomp)

Deidara - Um...I guess I am...

**Fourth Question:**

**To Deidara: Why do you always say "un" or "hn" or "yeah" all the time? And what the hell is up with "art is a bang" anyways?**

Deidara - I say those things 'cause they are manly grunts, or so I heard (cough Sasori cough). Anyways, I didn't want everyone thing I was a girl, so I said things that weren't polite for a girl to say. Kinda like Hidan and is vudoo god...he curses a lot, un.

Anyways, I say art is a bang 'cause I make art out of clay and then blow it up. For people who do not understand still (cough Kaiyuri cough), I'll put it this way. My art goes bang, so art is a bang, yeah. Get it?

Kai-chan - Yuppers. Oh, and those (snicker. Use fingers as air quotes.)manly grunts...yeah...they just sound stupid...to me anyways. I find them annoying. You should stop.

Deidara - (sarcastic)Yes, because you are the ruler of all that is great. I will obey your every command.

Kai-chan - I'm glad you understand.

POOF(again)

Sakura - Hello Dei-kun, hello Kaiyuri-san.

Kai-chan - (twitch) H-hello Suc-er I mean Sakura. (plasters fake smile)

Deidara - Hn...Hello. Oh, yea, I remember now. Kaiyuri-chan? Is Sasori no Danna here?

Kai-chan - Um...he will be(snaps fingers. Sasori falls through ceiling.) Oh and I have to make fun of you about something...You realize that "Danna" has more than one meaning, ne?

Deidara - (pause) Of course I did...(nervous glancing.)

Kai-chan - Oh yea. Well it not only means Master, but it means Husband, too! (Dei Dei-chan blushes) Oooh! Someone's been a naughty serial killer.

Deidara - ...I use it as the term Master.

Kai-chan - Oh god! I didn't realize you used M&S (master and slave) treatment on eachother! Poor Dei Dei-chan. That bondage must've sucked, eh? (I'm only a little Canadian)

Sakura- Oh...I'm sad...I didn't think that you would turn out to be ga-

Deidara - Oh! OH! GOD NO!!! Kaiyuri-chan is about as sick as she is stupid.(both look at me dancing to cotten-eye joe, missing every step)

Kai-chan - (misses step) damn (misses step) damn!

Sakura - Okay. I believe you.

Deidara - Good.

Sasori - I can't believe you thought that! You dobe!

Kai-chan - Calm down, deadsie. You too, ponytail.

Sasori - Don't call me that!!!

**Fifth Question:**

**To Sasori: Why did you make yoursekf a puppet? That's just so weird!**

Sasori - What? I like puppets. And I can battle without having to just stand there holding a bunch of blue strings.

Kai-chan - Yea. That does sound really boring.

OK! We're onto the dares next chapter!(You can also ask questions and dares for anyone, but I want focus on the victim)

Our first victim is...(Everyone holds breath)

TOBI!

(Lets out breath)

Tobi - Yay!! Tobi IS a good boy!

Kai-chan - (whispers to everyone else)I chose him 'cause he wouldn't mind. Also 'cause I'm obsessed with Ultimate Naruto Fanflashes and am listening to U.G.L.Y.!

Everyone - Ohhh...Hehehe Good for him.

Tobi - So what does Tobi have to do?

Kai-chan - You get to do everything that other people say in the reviews! You also get to get interogized! Good for you!(thumbs up)

Tobi - YAY!!!

Kai-chan - (Turns to readers) Make sure to send lotsa pain...er reviews to Tobi!

Deidara - Yes!!!! Bring pain to Tobi!!!!! He'll stop annoying me!!!! Do it!


	2. Victim 1 Tobi!

K-chan - Now, I don't have that many questions to work with, but that's okay. I'll either wait until I get more reviews or I will ask more questions.

Tobi - Yay! It's my turn now!

K-chan - (evil laugh) Yesss...Yes it is. First question for ChickenAss...er Sasuke.

**um...sasuke you are ass . and why don't you like hinata huh? do you have any idea of the thing's they say about you and sakura!? i have to have an "sakura is evil and dosen't belong with sasuke,and should go with ino" page! to shut people up. **

Sasuke - (scoff) I've never! I do like Hinata, it's just that Masashi-san doesn't let me like her in the manga. Also, I don't want to be with Sakura or Ino. Sakura is loud and annoying and Ino is blond and reminds me Narutard.

Naruto - Hey!!! Shut up Sasugay!

Sasuke - See what I mean.

Ino & Sakura - We all know that it shall be me that gets Sasuke

Ino - You got something to say billboard brow?

Sakura - Yeah. I'm gonna marry Sasuke and you're gonna be stuck Shikamaru!

Ino - (gasp) Don't make fun of Shika-kun!

K-chan - You realize that since I'm the writer of this fic and basically the controller of your lives for now, neither of you will get even near Sasuke.

Sakura & Ino - (Tries to get within 10 feet of Sasuke and get shocked)

K-chan - Told ya...Next question!

**U.G.L.Y. (Something that i cant remember) your UGLY hey hey Your ugly! i love that too - im also a Snowdragon fan and have you seen the ones from fioriparty? those are very funny too.  
to tobi? why do you always says that you are a good boy?**

**- thefullygirlalchemist**

Tobi - I say it 'cause Tobi IS a good boy.

All - (sweatdrop)

Tobi - And because even though Tobi is a killer, Tobi wants to be seen as nice and friendly.

K-chan - Well...isn't that...a bit disturbing.

Tenten - Awww...but I think it's cute. Don't worry Tobi, I think you're a good boy.

Tobi - Thank you very much. Tobi agrees.

K-chan - We all know that Tobi is a good boy, but I've got more important things to do than listen to you say that back and forth all day. Sadly, I am out of questions from reviewers...

To Deidara - If you get so upset about people confusing your gender, why not get a manlier haircut?

Deidara - Then I wouldn't be the smexy man that I am.

K-chan - You gots that right!!! (XD)

Deidara - Ummm...Thanks.

K-chan - Okay. Today we have a special guest, and my best friend kickerdoodle! (But we'll just call her Ellie.)

Ellie - Hiyas Nii-chan!

K-chan - Hey sissy.

Ellie - (Stern look) I know you ain't trying to steal my man.

K-chan - Of course not!!! (Pushes Deidara to Ellie) He's all yours!

Deidara - Don't I get a say in this?

K-chan and Ellie - Nope!

Ellie - Come 'ere my little killer!

Deidara - Get the hell away from me! (Ellie glomps) Ahhh!!! HELP!!!! Get 'er off me!

K-chan - (sits on counter sipping sweet tea.) Not a chance. It's too entertaining. And Ellie may try to kill me.(Again)

Sakura - (Busts through wall) What're you doig on Dei-kun?!

Ellie - What ever I want (sticks tongue out)!

Sakura - GET OFF HIM!!!

K-chan - Go away Sakura!!!(snaps fingers and Sakura falls through hole.)Now that she's gone, we can do some dares...tee hee...damn. I can't think of any. I need people to review!!!!(XP)

Ellie - Hmm...I can't think of anything either.(-.-')

Itachi - Now why haven't I been mentioned more?

K-chan - Ack! Where did you come from.

Itachi - You'd think that being your age you'd know that. (Sigh) I guess I'll have to tell you. (Get's out puppets) When a mommy and daddy love each other very much-

K-chan - (Hits him with fan, blushing) BAKA!!!!

Sasuke - Haha. You got pwned. By a girl.

(THWOMP)

K-chan - Shut up morons.

Itachi - Ha. So did you.

K-chan - (hand on her forehead) I swear I'm going to kill someone one day...

Tobi - I can help! After all I am a good boy.

K-chan - I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!!!(O.o twitch)

Ellie - Yeesh...you need to control your temper.

K-chan - (strangles/shakes Ellie) Just be quiet!!! (everyone supposedly 'leaves' room)

(puts on headphones, sings)

He's my best friend, best of all best friends. Do you have a best friend too?

He tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy! Hey, you should get a best friend too.(Stops singing)

Oh, (blush)oh god you all are still here...I thought you all left.(runs away)

All - Thank kami...she's gone.

(K-chan appears)

K-chan - You didn't think that you would get rid of me that easily did you?

Sai - S-she's unstoppable...AHHHHH!!!!!!(screams like a girl and runs away)

K-chan - (rolling on the floor laughing) Oh god, that's funny every time. For now, cause I'm bored, we're gonna have karaoke!!!!

(Throws everyone's names in a bucket.) Now who goes first? (draws a name.)

...Ino!!!

Ino - (gets on stage)

Aha, aha

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there  
Laughing loud so all the little people stare  
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne  
(Drop a name)  
What happened to the dreams of a girl president  
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent  
They travel in packs of two or three  
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees  
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?  
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl  
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back  
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)  
Disease's growing, it's epidemic  
I'm scared that there ain't a cure  
The world believes it and I'm going crazy  
I cannot take any more  
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in  
That will never be me  
Outcasts and girls with ambition  
That's what I wanna see  
(Come on)  
Disasters all around  
World despaired  
Your only concern  
Will it fuck up my hair

Maybe if I act like that (do like this), that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl  
Baby if I act like that (Oh, Oh-Oh, Do you think?), flipping my blond hair back (Do you think?)  
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl (Yeah, yeah)

(Do ya think? Do ya think? Do ya think?)  
(I like this, like this, like this)  
Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly I'm so lucky girl  
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!  
Pretty would you fuck me girl, silly I'm so lucky girl  
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

(Baby) Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back  
(Baby if I) Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Maybe if I act like that (maybe if I act like that), that guy will call me back (that guy will call me back)  
Porno Paparazzi girl (Porno Paparazzi girl), I don't wanna be a stupid girl (stupid girl)  
Baby if I act like that (maybe if I act like that), flipping my blond hair back (flipping my blond hair back)  
Push up my bra like that (push up my bra like that), I don't wanna be a stupid girl (stupid girl)

_["stupid girl" throughout:_  
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back  
Push up my bra like that,  
Stupid girl  
Stupid girl  
Stupid girl

(everyone claps!!!!!!)

K-chan - I'm-a goin' next! (Pushes Ino off as I struggle to hop up.)

Let me hear you say hey hey hey  
Alright  
Now let me hear you say hey hey ho

I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door  
even though I told him yesterday and the day before  
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab  
And I have to pull my money out and that looks bad

Where are the hopes, where are the dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
When do you think they'll finally see

_[Chorus:_  
That you're not not not gonna get any better  
You won't won't won't you won't get rid of me never  
Like it or not, even though she's a lot like me  
We're not the same  
And yeah yeah yeah I'm a lot to handle  
You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal  
Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen  
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen

Alright, alright  
Yeah

I hate it when a guy doesn't understand  
Why a certain time of month I don't wanna hold his hand  
I hate it when they go out, and we stay in  
And they come home smelling like their ex girlfriends

I found my hopes, I found my dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
Now everybody's gonna see

_[Chorus_

Give me an A (always give me what I want)  
Give me a V (be very very good to me)  
R (are you gonna treat me right)  
I (I can put up a fight)  
Give me an L (let me hear you scream loud)

One, two, three, four

Where are the hopes, where are the dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
When do you think they'll finally see

_[Chorus_

Let me hear you say hey hey hey  
Alright  
Now let me hear you say hey hey ho

Hey hey hey  
Hey hey hey  
Hey hey hey

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen

(Ellie claps, but slows to a stop as she realizes no one else is clapping)

Oh. OH! You know what, screw you all!!!

Next chapter's guest - ???

Next chapter's victim - Naruto!!!


	3. UGLY

K-chan - Okay, we're going to pause Karaoke Night for some questions.

**This is pretty funny!  
and, seeing that you need some dares and some questions I shall review!  
I SHALL MAKE NARUTO SUFFER!! (But Naruto i do luv ya)  
soo..Naruto...i dare you to..KISS SASUKE!! evil laugh mwahaha! XD hehe Sasugay.. ahem.  
Naruto, can you remember the last fanfic where you were paired with Sasuke??  
oh.and Sakura(-biotch), were you born with pink hair?  
Itachi, what are those lines on your face? are they from lack of sleep or do you just like draw them on with a marker?  
**

**with lots of Luv,Harleymotor (except to ino and Sakura)  
P.S. I SEND COOKIES AND ICECREAM!!**

Naruto & Sasuke - (faint)

K-chan - Oh joy! Cookies and ice cream!!! And it's chocolate chip cookies and bubblegum ice cream!!! MAH FAVORITE!!!!(Gobbles desserts down)

Okay Naruto, listen to the nice reviewer! Go over there, be a man (tehe...a gay man), kiss ChickenAss.

Naruto - (cries) I don't wanna!!! (Walks over and kisses Sasuke on the cheek)

K-chan - What a wuss... (yells at Naruto) Do you know how many people would kill to kiss Sasuke? I know I would! And so would Hinata...she just doesn't know it yet.

Naruto - (spits) No I don't remember the first story I was paired with Sasugay-

Sasuke - Sasugay? I'm not the one who kissed a guy. Twice.

Naruto - Teme!!! Anyways, the first thing that someone wrote about -ahem- yaoi (shivers) was Masashi-san. He made me kiss that Asswipe!

K-chan - (glomps Sasuke) He is not an asswipe! Now to finish the questions! (Pulls in Sakura)

So, answer the question already.

Sakura - Of course it's real-

K-chan - LIAR!!!!(Pulls off Sakura's wig) She's bald!!!

(Sakura runs away crying)

Sasuke - I knew it! No one has pink hair naturally.

(K-chan drags in Itachi)

Itachi - Why the hell am I here?

K-chan - God, must I explain it to everyone?! Why do you have lines on your face???!!!

Itachi - It's from large amounts of stress-

K-chan - WRONG!!! (takes rag and washes Itachi's face, the lines are a bit lighter.)

Itachi - Okay. Yeesh. (flashback)What happened was, late at night, Sasuke walked into my bedroom and drew these on my face with permenant marker. I haven't been able to get it off in years.

Sasuke - Ahh...Good times.

K-chan - (sneaks up behind a sleeping Kisame.) I'm gonna draw on his face. (Takes out marker) There! I wrote "Part II of Jaws" on his forehead.

Deidara - Yeah.How he was born was kinda sad. I mean, his Mom was raped by a Jaws.(A/N- I didn't think of that! I can't remember who did, but oh well) And you know Nemo, right?

All - (nods)

Deidara - That's his half brother. His mom** really **likes fish.

K-chan - Okaayyy...A little creepy.

**great but did ou had to put the entire review? O.o  
anyways Naruto:  
Question: why do you use that bright orange jump suit? couldnt you wear normal clothes that are better to camouflage yoursefl? i mean ORANGE! you wont get orange grass or a orange tree to hide.  
anyways...  
Dare: I dare you to use the Rasengan on Suckera's forehead .  
to the Author: Dont you dare get suckura near my looks at angry Elli er... i mean Elli's Dei Dei-chan or rather any guy. looks at rating (yay i can say this ) smirks evilly but you can make orochimaru molest her ;3**

**-thefullygirlalchemist**

K-chan - I'd be more than happy to. I mean, there is plenty of room up there so he can't miss.(looks evilly at Sakura and Naruto.)

Naruto, hit her Rasengan or watch me kill everyone.

Everyone - Hurry up Narutard!!!!

Naruto - Okay fine. Yeesh! (hits Sakura with Rasengan.) I never really liked her anyways.

Sakura - (faints)

K-chan - Why won't you die??!! (sends Orochimaru to molest her) Do whatever you like, just make sure it's painful.

Oro - Kukuku...Of course it will.

K-chan - Here's a comment!

Er...yeah, so next review-y thing.

Hmm.

To Sasuke: YOU'RE A DUMB EMO DUCK WHO RAPES BLONDE BOYS! Your a freak of nature. -dog ears twitch-

To Hinata: -hypnotizes- You love Itachi. You are in love with Uchiha Itachi.

To Itachi: -hypnotizes- Your a pervert.

To Sakura and Ino: You two should be happy you're girls. I don't use violence against a girl unless necessary. (Except that Bitchisame.)

To Deidara: -raises middle finger- I'm glad you commited suicide. Sorry if I spoiled that Kaiyuri-chan.

To Kai-chan: BRING KABUTO OUT HERE SO I CAN KILL THAT PEDOPHILE FOR GROPING HINATA-HIME!

Sasuke - I don't rape guys and even if I did, they definately wouldn't be blonde (glares at Naruto).

Hinata - (hypnotized) I love Itachi Uchiha...

Itachi - I already am a pervert. (Gropes Hinata)

Sasuke - Get your hands off her!!!

Deidara - I only committed suicide 'cause of that bastard! (points to Sasuke)

K-chan - Whelp, (yanks Kabuto in) you heard the reviewer.

Kabuto - Nooo!!! I'm too pretty to die.

K-chan - Puhleeze. Your anything but pretty. In fact, this would be saving the world from your ugliness.

(Tobi pops out of nowhere)

Tobi - Okay I'm a cheerleader now! (sings) U-G-L-Y You aint got no alibi you ugly eh hey you ugly!

K-chan - (turns music off) As much as I like that song, now is not the time. (kills Kabuto.)

Er...(turns to Hinata) that effect will wear off by next chapter hopefully.

to sasuke:I dare sasuke to kiss hinata!

to naruto: are you color-blind? cause what the hell where you thinking mixing blue with orange?!

to itachi: are you a pervert? and if you are,i dare ya to grope hinata !

to hinata: why the hell do you allway's wear baggy jacket's that make you look fat? i mean if you wore cloth that arent baggy you could attract any guy in the konoha! even naruto!

to sakura: i dare ya to kill yourself! (i want her dead)

To naruto,sasuke and itachi : i dare you three,to strip your clothes off while dancing!

TO hinata: i dare ya to watch naruto,sasuke and itachi strip their clothes off!

K-chan - Oh goodies! I like this one!

Sakura - (gulp) I don't wanna die!!!

K-chan - It's either that or I kill Sasuke! (lightning flashes)

Sakura - Noooooo!!!!!!(slits throat and dies)

K-chan - I was bluffing. I couldn't do that to Sasu-chan! (X3)

Hinata - I wear the bulky jackets so I don't attract unwanted attention.

K-chan - You will thank me for this. (Rips off jacket. All guys faint from nosebleeds) Wow...I didn't think that would happen...Oh well.

(turns on "I'm too sexy")

Okay guys, start stripping!!!(sits next to Hinata)

Hinata - (heard from next room) OH DEAR GOD MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS!!!!

K-chan - Whoo hoo! Yeah! That's how you gotta shake it! (Nah jk, jk)

Hinata, Sasuke, Itachi, and Naruto - (walks out of room, blushing)

K-chan - We should do that again sometime, oh and guys, don't be afraid to put a little more feeling into it. I mean, you didn't even try during the lap dance. (Everyone stares, Hinata, Sasuke, Itachi, and Naruto blush worse)

Okay Tobi! Now you can sing!!!

Tobi -

Ok! I'm a cheerleader now!

u.g.l.y.  
You ain't got no alibi you ugly  
Eh! Hey! You ugly x4

I saw you walking down the street just the other day  
I didn't see your damage from that far away  
I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming

You walked up to me with your buckteeth a gleaming  
Your hair was all frizzy and your face was a mess  
I thought it was a sack but it's your favourite dress  
You hurt the tree's feelings and the birds all flew  
I don't mean to insult you  
Oh wait! Yes I do.

Your teeth are yellow, they're covered in mould  
You're only fourteen you look a hundred years old  
When looks were handed out you were last in line  
Your face looks like where the sun don't shine  
Did you fall off a building and land on your head?

Or did a truck run over your face instead  
There ain't no pill cos you ain't ill

you're ugly!  
U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x2

What you really need is to wear a mask  
And book that plastic surgeon fast - (girl)  
You're scary - you're hairy I heard about you  
You're the main attraction at the city zoo  
You're so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab  
When you wear a yellow coat people shout out cab  
(So funny)

You got eyes like a pig and your nose is big  
And with hair like that you should be wearing a wig  
Uncle Fester, remember him? I never knew that you had a twin  
You can't disguise your googly eyes  
In the miss ugly pageant you win first prize  
Yo mama says you ugly -  
you ugly!

U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x2  
Get busy x9  
Yo mama says your ugly  
Get busy  
Yo mama says your ugly  
Get busy  
Yo mama says your ugly  
Get busy (D&C) your ugly!

u.u.u.u.  
Now I feel like Blondie

U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x2

Quasimodo  
Camel breathe  
Squarehead  
ugly!

Chicken legs  
Pig face  
Chin like bubba  
ugly!

Fish lips  
Toad licker  
Poindexter  
ugly!

Spaghetti arms  
Limp butt  
freak show -ugly!

U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly x1

U.G.L.Y- you could make an onion cry

U.G.L.Y- like an alien chased by the F.B.I.

U.G.L.Y (x6)  
U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly!

K-chan - (sweat drop) That took a while. Anyways, the next victim is...er...it was gonna be Sakura, but seeing how she's dead it will be...KISAME!!!(I seriously can't think of anyone else)


	4. Gai is a Macho Man

K-chan - GOMEN NESAI!!!! (bows) I haven't updated in a while on this story or for A New Me and I have yet to post the pics I promised for my other story! My scanner is being swishy and I have camp next week...I just went camping so now I'm back after being computer deprived.

Sasuke - What the hell are you talking about?!

K-chan - My stories. My sister won't stop whining about how sad she is Deidara died, if he really did die. I keep telling her he really didn't die or he'll come back to life...somethin' like that. Good God...

Sasuke - Wow...that sucks.

K-chan - (nods) Anyways, I found some good songs from DDR for Gaara and Hinata to sing. You'll find out later.

Hinata - W-w-what a-are you going t-to do to u-us?

K-chan - Whatever I want (organ plays) MWAHAHA!!!

I'm actually really bored. I have to update all my stories...Oh, yeah. I made a new one. It's a DeiHina.

Deidara - Alright, yeah!!!!

Hinata - Aww...but I wanted to be with Sasuke.

K-chan - Yes, but now you have all the Akatsuki fighting over you! Even Itachi!

Itachi - Who said what now?

K-chan - That's right! (Sniff) My little Hina-chan is all grown up now!!!

**To kisame: i dare ya to eat fish,but not just any fish,Shark meat. (im evil)**

**to sasuke:i dare ya to take hinata on a date( and i suggest to not be seen by neji,trust me,he'll kill you.**

**to naruto: dont you like any girl besides sakura?**

**to deidara: i want you to lap dance( i kind of have a thing for lap dances) in front of all akatsuki.**

**to itachi: huh...(this may sound wierd) why are you so damn hot?**

**to hinata: what did you did when itachi groped your ? ( you know like scream,slap him or stand there like nothing happened)**

**To hinata: did you liked it when itachi groped your ?  
(excuse my vocabulary)**

Hinata -DAMN STRAIGHT IT FELT GOOD!! Oh and because I was under that spell, I just enjoyed it.

Itachi - (strips down and dances to rap music) This is why I'm hot. This is why I'm hot. This why, this is why, this is why I'm hot.

K-chan - Oh dear god!!! MY EARS! (turns off music and scans his body) Very nice by the way. (wipes blood off nose)

Yay Deidara! You get to give me a lapdance!!! Or perhaps Aimi...

Aimi- Danm straight!!!

Deidara - I'm in a giving mood...I'll give you both lapdances!

K-chan & Aimi - Yay! (5 tracks of stripper music and many nosebleeds later)

(Aimi- Bitch, I want more detail)

K-chan - That was one helluva night.

Kisame - Er...I don't want to eat shark meat...

K-chan - What sound does a sheep make?

Kisame - Baaa- (Stuffs mouth with fishy goodness. If you don't get it say baa and look at the way your mouth is positioned.) I hate you.

Naruto - Hmm...In 'A New Me' I have a crush on Hinata after she gets hott- (Hinata bitch slaps him)

Hinata - Jackass.

Naruto - Oww...But other than that, no. I love Sakura.

Sasuke - I would be more than happy to take Hinata on a date. (Hinata hooks here arm in his. They saunter off to the fair)

K-chan - Well, we won't be seeing them for a while I suppose...KARAOKE TIME!!!!

Deidara's turn

Deidara - Fine...I don't want to pick the song though.

K-chan - Hehehe. (giggles) Okay. I'll pick it.

Deidara - (music plays) Oh god, not that song. Damn.

_[Verse 1  
_I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
I think you're special, what's behind your back?  
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.

Take 'em to the bridge

_[Bridge_  
Dirty babe  
You see the shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take 'em to the chorus

_[Chorus_  
Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're working with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
_[Repeat 6 times_

Get your sexy on

_[Verse 2_  
I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other fuckers don't know how to act  
Come let me make up for the things you lack  
'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast

Take 'em to the bridge

_[Bridge_

_[Chorus_

_[Verse 3_  
I'm bringing sexy back  
You mother fuckers watch how I attack  
If that's your girl you better watch your back  
Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact

Take 'em to the chorus

_[Chorus_  
K-chan - (claps loudest) Yay!!!

Aimi- that was wonderfull, do it again please, I got a dollar in my front pocket come ang get it, rawr!

Alrighty, next is Lee-kun!

Lee - Youthfully yes! I will youthfully bring youth to this most youthful of all youthful people!

Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting,  
those jerks were fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning,  
but they fought with expert timing

There was funky China men  
from funky Chinatown  
They were trapping when up,  
they were trapping when down  
It's an ancient Chinese art,  
and everybody knew their part  
For my friend, ain't you a stiff,  
then I'm kickin' from the hip

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting,  
those kids were fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning,  
but they fought with expert timing

There was funky Billie Jim  
and little Sammy John  
He said, here comes the big boss,  
let's get it on  
We took the bow and made a stand,  
started swaying with the hand  
A sudden motion made me stiff,  
now we're into a brand new trip

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting,  
those kids were fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning,  
but they did it with expert timing

Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...  
Oh-oh-oh-oh...

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting,  
those kids were fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit fright'ning,  
make sure you have expert timing

Kung Fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning...

K-chan - Er...I should've seen that coming. Only because I have a good idea for him

Gai- sensei!

Gai - Whoo!

Macho Man

Body...wanna feel my body?  
Body...such a thrill my body  
Body...wanna touch my body?  
Body...it's too much my body  
Check it out my body, body.  
Don't you doubt my body, body.  
talkin' bout my body, body,  
check it out my body

Every man wants to be a macho macho man  
to have the kind of body, always in demand  
Jogging in the mornings, go man go  
works out in the health spa, muscles glow  
You can best believe that, he's a macho man  
ready to get down with, anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!  
Macho, macho man (macho man)  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho! Ow...

Macho, macho man  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)  
I've got to be a macho!

Body, its so hot, my body,  
Body, love to pop my body,  
Body, love to please my body,  
Body, don't you tease my body,  
Body, you'll adore my body,  
Body, come explore my body,  
Body, made by God, my body,  
Body, it's so good, my body

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk  
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss  
Funky with his body, he's a king  
call him Mister Eagle, dig his chains  
You can best believe that, he's a macho man  
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho! (all right)

Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho! All Right!

Ugh! Macho..baby!  
Body, body, body wanna feel my body,  
Body, body, body gonna thrill my body,  
Body, body, body don'tcha stop my body,  
Body, body, body it's so hot my body,

Every man ought to be a macho macho man,  
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,  
Have their own life style and ideals,  
Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal,  
You can best believe that he's a macho man  
He's a special person in anybody's land.

K-chan - Okayyy...Until next time!!!!

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!  
Macho, macho man (macho man)  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho! (dig the hair on my chest)

Macho, macho man (see my big thick mustache)  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho! (Dig broad shoulders)

Macho, macho man (dig my muscles!)  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man  
I've got to be, a macho man  
Macho, macho man  
I've got to be a macho! HEY!


	5. Lap Dance Contest!

K-chan - Heys again!!! My niece (not really, but my "sister" is her "mother") is sleeping over at my house, so give it up for Rei-chan!!!

(clap track)

Ahem, I'm watching Jackass, which is giving me PLENTY of ideas. Not to mention that it is on until 4 a.m.

Everyone - (gulps)

Rei-chan - Whoo!!!

K-chan - Anyways, we will be preforming stunts on the show today, you know...just random stuff I think of. After the reviews of course.

**Wow that distirbed me in whole new ways'  
good job A+**

Now for my evil random dares

For all the guys you must say "in my pants" after everything you say

for hinata sakura and naruto hinata and sakura must do a lap dance for naruto wile he is tide to a chair

Evil question time

hinata will you go out with me i will give you cookies

naruto why do you say belive it all the time on the english version of the show

sasgay why are you so gay i mean you have all the vilage girls throwing themselves at you at least have your way with one

P.S. make tobi say im a good boy and do my dare at the same time youll see why

**- yamithecardmaster**

K-chan - OMFG!!!! Hahaha!!! I feel sorry for all the guys! LMAO!!!

Tobi - Tobi is a good boy in Tobi's pants!!!

K-chan - (stifles laughter) Hahaha!!!! This is the funniest review I've gotten!!!

Tobi - What? Tobi doesn't get the joke in Tobi's pants.

Rei - Who in the hell talks in third person???!!!

Tobi - Tobi does in Tobi's pants!

Rei - (sputters) DAMMIT TOBI!!!! (bitch slaps)

Gaara!!!!

Gaara - What in my pants?

Rei - Come over here!!! (winks)

Gaara - I don't wanna in my pants.

Rei - I have cookies!!

Gaara - Hmm...(thinks) not worth it in my pants.

Rei - They're chocolate chip!

Gaara - M'kay in my pants!

(Sasuke and Hinata walk in)

K-chan - Back from the date I see. (leans in) Did anything _exciting _happen?

(Sasuke and Hinata blush)

Hahaha!!!! I knew it...

Itachi - Hey Hinata, you wanna hang out in my pants?

Sasuke - Omigod!!!! You pervert!!!

K-chan - Oh, that's right. You were out...yeah. A review made every guy say (giggles) 'in my pants' after everything they say.

Sasuke - (blushes) Erm...your kidding, right? (k-chan shakes head) Oh dear kami...in my pants...

K-chan - Well...sakura died, but I suppose I could bring her back to life just for this. (zaps Sakura)

Sakura - Huh? Where am I?

K-chan - You're giving Naruto a lap dance.

Sakura - No way- (ponders for a minute) You're going to kill Sasuke if I don't, right?

K-chan - Uh huh. (grabs Sasuke)

Sakura - Erm...Okay.

(K-chan locks Hinata, Naruto, and Sakura into room)

('Baby Got Back' plays)

Rei - I **don't** want to know what's happening in there.

Aimi - Loud noises all night long.

K-chan - You morons...(sighs)

(Naruto, Hinata, and Sakura step out of the room)

Naruto - Hehe. (blush) That sure was fun in my pants!

Hinata- (faints)

Sakura - Sooo...(walks up to Sasuke)

K-chan - Oh...Oh. Uh uh. Not in MY story biyotch! (Grabs Sakura by the neck and throws her across the room.)

Rei - My turn!! (walks over and stabs Sakura in the forehead) No one would ever miss that shot with a target as big as _that._

Naruto - I say ' Believe it' 'cause in the English version, no one knows what the hell ' dattebayo' means. (sulks)

Hinata - Erm...(whispers to Sasuke) I would love to go on a date with you.

**hahahahahhahahahahah! nice chapter!**

To Itachi: I want you to lapdance for me Think's of Itachi lapdancing Gets nosebleed

To Author: do you watch Inu-Yasha?

To Naruto:umn...er..uhm...do you eat anything besides ramen?!

To Sasuke:umn...(i dont know what to ask)...is your favorite color black?(i love black)

To Sasuke(again):your emo admit it,theres nothing to be ashamed of,im emo/punk/goth and i dont care what people think.

to everybody: i want a lapdance contest( im sure itachi will win or deidara or sasuke)

**- SnowWhiteQueen1311**

K-chan - I LOVE THE SHOW INUYASHA!!!!! (takes out InuYasha cap, t-shirt and flag)

WHOO!!!!

Rei - I like the show too!

K-chan - InuYahsa likes me better! (pushes Rei-chan)

Aimi - Erm...I think it's okay.

K-chan - Omigosh!!! I forgot to tell everyone (hugs Aimi) Aimi is actually Ellie, but she didn't like Ellie, so she changed it.

Aimi - DAMN STRAIGHT!!!! (X3)

Sasuke - Yes...My favorite color is black...in my pants.

I don't think I'm emo...I just don't share my feelings. That's all.

K-chan - Mkay!!! Aimi, Rei, and I will be the judges!!!

Deidara first!

('Promiscuous' plays)

K-chan - (Wipes nosebleed) Very nice...not much feeling put into it, but looks are really helpful in these...ahem _situations_.

Rei - Very sexy.

Aimi - (fainted from blood loss)

K-chan - Up next Sasuke!

Sasuke - I'm not going in my pants.

K-chan - (giggles) You don't have to 'go' in your pants. You can just take them off!(I thank Rei for that)

Sasuke - (blushes) O-okay...Fine..In my pants.

K-chan - Hehehe...(turns 'My Humps')

Aimi - Oh...god...(trembles) I saw things I shouldn't have.

Rei - Good dance, bad song.

K-chan - WHOO HOO! (jumps in Sasuke's arms) See ya losers!!! (runs off into 'secret' room)

Aimi - Must she make me say it again...(sighs). Loud noises all night long.

Rei - Of course she's the only one to get the guy.

Naruto - (walks in) Erm...I next, right in my pants.

Aimi - (whispers to Rei) Speak of the devil.

Rei - Awsome. (Plays 'Party Like A Rockstar')

Aimi - Good I suppose.

Rei - Ooh, sexy, sexy boy. (whispers in Naruto's ears) Now you gotta come with me.

(Naruto and Rei walk away into another room)

Aimi - I'm not saying it again. I'm not doing this alone. (drags in Hinata and Temari)

Next is Itachi.

(plays 'This Is Why I'm Hot')

Temari - You are one of the hot-

Hinata - (hisses at Temari) Back off. He's mine!! (Temari cowers. Hinata runs away with a grinning Itachi)

Aimi - Nice bod. I'll admit that.

Rei - (shouts from room) I liked the song!!!

Temari - (with sarcasm) As much as I enjoy my brother giving me a lap dance, I don't, so let's skip Gaara.

Aimi - That means that since I'm the only judge left that actually stayed the whole time, I pick...

Deidara!!! Your prize is...ME!!!! (Deidara carries her into a room)

K-chan and Rei - (walk out of the rooms, clothes messed up and hair frizzed.) What'd we miss?

That's it for now...I know I promised stunts, but it's late and the chapters long. I'll do it next time. (big pun 'cause I'm watching NEXT on Mtv.)

Next time (giggles at pun) the victim is...

Sasuke!!!!


	6. Sugar Highs Hurt

K-chan - I'm not dead! Hurray!!!

Hinata - Where were you?!

K-chan - (whispers to Hinata) Fatass camp!! (normal voice) It's not my fault!!! I'm actually pretty slim! But I had a credit from last year. (Everyone is silent) Don't make fun of me!!!! (runs away)

Sasuke - (Looks at the computer) Why the hell am I singing 'I'm an emo boy'????

K-chan - (runs back) If you have any questions about that, ask Rockinmuffin on youtube. Anyways, I have to get back to the revews.

**Sasuke:  
Ok...I want Sasuke spend $10 for a Male or Female toy poodle(It has to be a black toy poodle) and he has to name it Itachi-kun(But he can't kill it) Also...He can teach it tricks(He may pick out the tricks), and he must keep it with him at all times. He should also pet it, and give it kisses all the time. And use abby talk when talking to the poodle**

**Gaara: He should kiss an Orochimaru doll with lipstick then give it to Sasuke**

**Orochimaru: You must bring him on, and tell him that he can mutilate Sakura's body, then throw her body pieces onto Sasuke**

**Itachi: Bring him on, and tell Sasuke to speak the Poodle's name. Itachi should get confused(And may or may not result in the death of the poodle, which Sasuke would cry over if it got killed)**

**- Raianofthe6thSquad**

K-chan - Erm...I might feel a bit bad after this but, okay.

Sasuke - Noooo! I thought you loved me!

K-chan - I do, but I am forced to love the reviewers more. I mean, if it weren't for them, you wouldn't be here. You'd probably be making out with Naruto in a yaoi fic.

Sasuke - (grunts) Fine... (Buys a black poodle) It's a girl...like Itachi and apparently her name is Itachi.

(One week later...)

Sasuke - She knows how to sit, roll over, and beg. Oh, and bite my retarded brother.

K-chan - Hehe...

Gaara - (puts on lip stick and kisses an Orochimaru doll before giving it to Sasuke) I will never do that again.

Sasuke - (burns the doll)

Itachi - Hello foolish brother.

Sasuke - Sick Itachi, Itachi! (Hears K-chan and Raian-san giggling in the background)

Itachi - (thinks for a minute then grabs the bridge of his nose) I have a headache.

K-chan - Alright, now for Orochimaru's turn.

Orochimaru - I've wanted to do this for a long time. (Throws decaying pieces of Sakura onto Sasuke and runs into a different room.)

Sasuke - Ahhh!!!!!! It burns!!!!!

K-chan - Must I do everything? (sighs and snaps fingers. Body organs and such disappear.)

Hinata - How do you make those disappear?

K-chan - (evil grin) _Inside my head_. ( Cheyanne screams as she is covered in organs) (Cheyanne is a girl I hate in my school) _Real world._ Oh that? Don't worry about it.

**To Author: i want Sesshomaru in the next chapter.**

**To Sasuke:(smiles evily) i want you to run 5 laps around konoha,in your underware but not just any underware,boxers,the ones that are white and have red hearts all over.**

**To Hinata: i want you to...kill sakura(I WANT HER DEAD)**

**To Sesshomaru(if he appear's),Itachi,Sasuke,Naruto and Deidara(the 5 hottest boy's on earth!): i want you all to lapdance!(like i said,i have a thing for lapdances)**

**To Naruto: go to sakura's tomb and burn it to the ground(laughs evily)**

**To Itachi: why do you paint your nails purple?**

**To Jaws,im mean Kisame: i want you to sing "Under the sea" (you know the song that Sebastian sing's in the "little mermaid")**

**- SnowWhiteQueen1131**

K-chan - Mkay. (Drags in Sesshomaru and Ed)

Ed - Why am I here? I'm not even from the anime.

K-chan - Shut it alchemist! I dragged you in here 'cause I want you to meet my friend. (Pulls in Becca-chan)

Becca-chan - (squeals and jumps up and down) You're so hot! And you're taller than me!!

K-chan - (whispers to readers) But pretty much everyone is!

Becca-chan - BAKA!!! (bitch slaps K-chan)

Sesshomaru - (tries to sneak out while everyone is distracted.)

K-chan - Oh no you don't!!! (grabs Sesshy by the collar and turns to White-chan) I'll do the NEXT thing towards the end, so I don't take up too much time.

Hinata - Erm...Sakura's already dead.

K-chan - (sighs) Thanks to a certain reviewer, AIMI!!! (Gives Aimi evil eye) I now have to complement Sakura, so she can kill her afterwards.

(Turns on 'My Band' by Eminen)

K-chan - This calls for a sexy party! (Everyone runs around in kinky outfits giggling, like Stewies sexy parties on Family Guy)

Itachi - I paint my nails purple because it's required for the Akatsuki.

K-chan - (whispers to readers) And because he's a girl in desguise and really likes that color.

Itachi - (activates Mangekyou sharingan)

K-chan - (sighs and walks over and pokes him in the eyes)

Itachi - (girly voice) My eyes!!!

K-chan - Erm...Itachi, are you that retarded? I lied to them about you being a girl. Why did you believe it yourself?

Itachi - (blushes and regains composure) Shut up.

Kisame -

Under the sea  
Come with me

The seaweed is always greener  
In somebody else's lake  
You dream about going up there  
But that is a big mistake  
Just look at the world around you  
Right here on the ocean floor  
Such wonderful things around you  
What more is you lookin' for?

Under the sea, under the sea  
Darling, it's better  
Down where it's wetter  
Take it from me

Up on the shore they work all day  
Out in the sun they slave away  
While we devoting  
Full time to floating  
Under the sea, haha, come on

Down here all the fish are happy  
As off through the waves they roll  
The fish on the land ain't happy  
They sad 'cos they're in the bowl  
But fish in the bowl is lucky  
They in for a worser fate  
One day when the boss get hungry  
Guess who gonna be on the plate

Under the sea, under the sea  
Nobody beat us, fry us and eat us in fricassee  
We what the land folks loves to cook  
Under the sea we off the hook  
We got no troubles  
Life is the bubbles  
Under the sea, under sea  
Under the sea, under the sea  
Since life is sweet here  
We got the beat here

Naturally

Even the sturgeon and the ray  
They get the urge and start to play  
We got the spirit, you got to hear it  
Under the sea

The newt play the flute  
The carp play the harp  
The plaice play the bass  
And they sounding sharp  
The bass play the brass  
The chub play the tub  
The fluke is duke of soul  
The ray, he can play  
The ling's on the strings  
The trout rocking out  
The black fish he sings  
The smelt and the sprat  
They know where it's at  
And oh, that blowfish blow

Under the sea, under the sea  
Come on  
Under the sea  
Under the sea, under the sea  
When the sardine begin the beguine  
It's music to me  
What do they got? A lotta sand  
We got a hot crustacean band

Each little clam here know how to jam here  
Under the sea  
Each little slug here cutting a rug here  
Under the sea  
Each little snail here know how to wail here  
That's why it's hotter  
Under the water  
We are in luck here  
Down in the muck here  
Under the sea

Naruto - (cries) Sorry Sakura!!!! (burns tomb)

K-chan - Alrighty. Next review.

**now its my turn to review, I ai... I mean random passerby, want you to,  
1. Give deidara, hidan, tobi, itachi and Pein to Aimi as a birthday present, so she gets her own club of hawt guys  
2. I want you the author to compliement sakura, in a nice way! 3 I want Sasuke to have to slap hinata (you dont have to that random person, i just felt like writing it)**

**- kickerdoodle**

K-chan - Aimi!!!!! Why did you make me do this???!!!

Aimi - Haha! It doesn't matter if I'm your friend or not, a reviewer is a reviewer and you have to compliment Sakura!!! And give me the guys of complete hottness.

K-chan - Fine, but this is the last time I will ever resserect Suckura! (snaps fingers)

Sakura - I'm alive!!!!

K-chan - Erm...Your hair is...pretty?

Sakura - I know! Isn't so much better than yours. I mean look at me. There is no way anyone else could compare to my looks.

K-chan - (veins on forehead, but gets an idea.) Sassy-chan!!!

Sasuke - What?

K-chan - (makes out with Sasuke)

Sakura - You whore!!!!!

Hinata - Oh yeah! I remember now! (kills Sakura) I had to do that.

K-chan - Fine, fine. I'll give you the guys, but only for one chapter...except for Deidara...you kinda already...you know.

Aimi - (giggles) Yay!!!! (runs off with guys)

Sasuke - I will never slap Hinata!!!

Aimi - Gosh, can't you idiots take a joke?

(everyone shakes their heads.)

K-chan - Next review!!!

**Kiba: I dare you to lick Lee's eyebrows, and make a loud slurping noise, kays?**

**Itachi: Since you're going blind and all, are you going to get a seeing eye dog? (Hands him a puppy) TRAIN HIM WHILE YOU STILL CAN!**

**Hinata: I wrote fanficts about you and Neji...Sexy...I'm writing a big Hina-Dei fic...so I want you to rate all 'ze boys on a hotness scale from 1-10, 10 being hotter than the sun, 1 being...well, burn my eyes out ugly.**

**Sasuke: Are you frightened of your Nii-chan(olderbrother) stealing your hime (princess)(Hinata) away?**

**(Hugs Deidara, hugs author, hands her candy.) Sugar! (Runs off laughing)**

**-migrated-pineapple**

K-chan - SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!! (eats candy in one bite and runs around on the ceiling.)

Aimi - Wait. She doesn't have chakra...

K-chan - (screeches to a stop and falls off the ceiling. Get's drug to the hospital.) Aimi!!!! While I'm gone you're in charge!!!

Kiba - Do I have to lick them???

Aimi - Of course you do silly!!!

Kiba - (Licks eyebrows while slurping) Omigod!!!! It tastes like kibble!!! (licks more)

Itachi - No! I'm getting a seeing eye bunny!!!

Aimi - Erm... okay...

Hinata - Sasuke is a 9. Deidara is an 8.

Aimi - No!!!!! He's a 20!!!!

Deidara- Uhhh...Thanks I guess, un.

Aimi- No problem (runs over and hugs deidara, and whisper's in ear.) Remember we have a date tonight.

Deidara- Ohh yeah thanks for reminding me, un.

Aimi- Any day.

Deidara- Ummm, Aimi.

Aimi-Yeah?

Deidara- Could you get your hand out of my pants?

Aimi- (blushes) Ohh right, sorry. CARRY ON!

Hinata - Any who, Itachi's a (blushes) 10. Naruto is a 7. And all the other guys are fugly!!!! (runs away)

Sasuke - Normally, I would be worried, but because the author of this story made me, I am forced not to care and to love her.

Naruto - Hey!!! I think Orange is a very camoflaging color.

(Everyone laughs at Naruto)

Naruto - Screw you all!!!

Aimi - Review.

**Itachi i dare you to punch kisame in the face and call him retarded fish man**

**now i dare all the girls to say "in my bra" after every sentence**

**and i dare the athour to make sakura explode after everything she says and be reserected every time after 10 seconds**

**Question time:  
Shikamaru what would you do if clouds did not exist?**

**Sasgay you still didn't answer my question so ill ask again, why are you so gay?**

**Hinata what is your dream date? tell me and ill make it happen**

**Itachi which one of the girls (including the author) is your favorit (or the one you can tolrate the most)?**

**Tenten who do you like more Lee or Nejerk?**

**Guy do you know that kakashi dosen't even agknolage your existense because he dosen't even see you as a raival?**

**Lee who is your role model besides Guy?**

**And lastly Tsunade are your boobs real and what size are they?**

**- yamithecardmaster**

Aimi-My gawd this is long, Now I know why Nee-chan is always so pissy, in my bra.

Everyone- 'THE HELL!?

Aimi- Did you people even read the danmed Reveiw, All the girls have to say 'in my bra' after every sentence. (sicko's)

Everyone- That make's loads of sense

Aimi-Im sure it does! YOU THERE! (points to a three year old on a tricyle, named harvey...the tricyle is named harvey.)

Kid- Uhhh...yeah?

Aimi-Go get me the Fag's from KonoHO!

Kid- Ummm lady I think it's called 'Konoha'

Aimi- Do you dare question me?! (lightning hit's the boy...he lived a good three years) Must I do everything myself. (zaps in the people from Konoha.)

Tsunade- What are we doing here?

Aimi-Uhh this is the line for the plastic surgeon.In my bra

Tsunade- Now I can go up another size, YES! In my bra

Aimi- There you go folks Tsunade is a fake.In my bra(pop's Tsunades boob's with a needle)

Sasuke- (picks up dare list) WHAT 'DA HELL... I have spend a day with Miss. piggy and Pinky!

Aimi-Nooo.. Ms.piggy is from the muppets and a pinky belongs on you're hand so theres no way you could spend a day with them.In my bra

Deidara- Sweetie, did you remember to take you're meds this morning,un?

Aimi- I dont have any meds silly, and if I did I might've flushed them down the toilet. In my bra

Aimi-(walks up to Itachi) Sooo what's up? In my bra?

Itachi- Dont I have a restraining order against you?

Aimi-Maybe...But we have to talk about Kisame, You have to punch Kisame and call him Retarded fish man.

Itachi- I would be glad to (runs of far away to get kisame.)

Aimi- (thinks) I forgot to tell Itachi that he's only supposed to punch him in the face, oh well.

Kisame- Oh GAWD not there-NOOOO OWWWWW! NOT MY BALLS

Aimi- I guess Kisames not making any baby-goldfish soon, In my bra.

Sakura- This is odd, the author has'nt said anything mean to me, I wonder if she's drunk?

Aimi- Nooooooo (Sakura blows up, Aimi reserects her.) Sakura please sit in this corner and SHUT THE HELL UP,this is for your own good! In my bra.

Shikamaru-No matter how troublesome this is, isnt there something for me on this list.

Aimi- Yeah, If there weren't clouds, what would you do, in my bra.

Shikamaru-Slit my throat.

Aimi- Do clouds really mean that much to you?

Shikamaru- Well duh, my mom was a cloud.

Aimi- I think you need meds more then I do.

Deidara-That amy not be entierly true, un.

Aimi- Calm down Deidra!

Deidara- Uhhh baby, that's not my name,un.

Aimi- Suuure...whatever Nancy.

Deidara- Stop it, un!

Aimi-Any who, Sauce-GAY, Why are you so gay!

Sasuke- I am not gay, Dobe!

Aimi- Dont piss me off, I am the fuckin' author.

Sasuke- Uhh no youre not, K-chan is.

Aimi- You made me do this, whats this then, This is the proof that you're gay! (pulls out a handfull of photos)

Sasuke- This isnt proof that I'm gay, But I couldnt say the same for the Akatsuki. These are Porno pictures of all of them

Aimi- (blushes)OHHH shit! (hides pictures in back pocket.)

(angry mob of Akatsuki members appears)

Mob- Aimi, How the hell did you get those pictures.

Aimi- Well you see... I um...I...uh I HAVE CAMERA'S IN YOURE BEDROOMS AND BATHS!

Sasuke- (picks up photo's) Why is My brother raping Deidara...and why is Hidian doing that to deidara.. and OH my god you to Kazuku... And you Sasori, You naughty naughty boy?

Aimi- My god men, You all have a perfectly good, blue haired sex-slave! And you have to Phunk with Deidara!

Sasori-But the hands are such a turn on, and he's so danm cute.

Aimi- Thats what I sa-HEY! He's all mine.

Deidara- Do I have any say in this, un?

Aimi-Sure, Do you pick me or Sasori (whispers to deidara) And remember I could show him that Sex tape... With you and me.

Deidara-Sorry Sasori, but I have to go with Aimi.

Aimi- Thank you! Anyway Hinata, whats your dream date?

Hinata- A romantic walk on the beach.

Aimi- then getting a reservation at a NO-tell-Motel and geting it on all night, am I right or am I right?

Hinata- No No No Not at all!

Aimi- Aww but I think the reveiwer like's you.

Hinata-Really?

Aimi- Sure knock you're self out. Anyway Itachi What chickette is your fave, who's the grooviest.

Itachi- Did you just come from the 60's

Aimi- TIGHT RIGHT AN' OUTTA SIGHT!

Itachi- just so you know youre the last on the list.

Aimi-Booo you whore!

Chibi-Itachi-(big sparkly eyes) Well the reader's are my favorite, beacuse they make K-chan super happy.

Aimi- (spits out coke) 'Da hell Are you serious!

Itachi- Naw K-chan is my favorite, then Hinata. Then everyone pisses me off. And I hate you the most, AIMI

Aimi-Asswipe, Anyway Ten-ten do you like the Nejinator or Lee?.

Tenten-I like my buns.But I like Neji the most (runs over at neji)

Neji- Bitch please, Shove it my heart belongs to Hiashi ,he is the love of my life.

Aimi- Wow, thats scary, then K-chan in the mornings (phone rings, and Aimi picks up.)Hello.

K-chan- SHUT THE HELL UP DIBSHIT!

Aimi- I dont want to buy any bannana's I HATE BANANAS. (exept on men, then I like bananas)

Lee- I have no other inspiration other then Gai-sensei.

Aimi- (snickers) Dontcha mean GAY-sensei.

Lee- Waah You whore, Youre just jealous of his youth.

Aimi- (snaps fingers, and lee turns into an old man) Youthfull my ass.

Lee- (runs away)

Gai- Kakashi I challenge you at a sexy-ness competition.

Aimi- I already know the results, Kakashi you win, see Gai youre no match for him.

**Dare for Deidara: I dare you to walk around in just fishnet.Nothing else while telling Sasori you love him. (I'm not cruel enough)**

**Question for Itachi: Why did you kill the Uchiha clan anyway?Is it true that you were singing to Bob Seger and Sasuke told you that your uncle was showing them to the whole family and right after you killed them,he told you it was on YouTube?I have the video...**

**Dare for Itachi: I dare you to dance around the room in front of everyone,including Akatsuki,while singing to Bob Seger. (Still not cruel enough)**

Aimi- Deidara strips for sasori all the time, I have the video right here (pulls out video) Right here.

Deidara and Sasori- GIVE ME THAT!

Aimi- Unfourntenely I feel like keeping it, It will give me something to do while you walk around in fishnet and profess youre love to a puppet.

Deidara- Fine...fine (strips down to fishnet, and walks over to sasori.) I love you, Now can I put me clothes back on/

Aimi- Ummmm, no the dare wants you to dance around (dei starts dancing.)

Deidara- Am I done NOW?

Aimi- The dare also wants you to make me a sandwich. (deidara goes to make aimi a sandwich, he walks in 5 minutes later.)

Deidara- Anything else?

Aimi- Yeah one last thing you have to say 'I'm so gullible.'

Deidara- I'm so gullib-Wait WHAT THE HELL, give me that dare. (aimi hands him the paper with the dare, He starts chasing aimi.)

Aimi- Oh Deidara if only you could be this entergetic in bed. (snaps fingers and he is stuck in place, Itachi walks in.)

Itachi- I beileve you are abusing your powers, while K-chan is gone.

Aimi- AM NOT! Anyway's Why'd you kill your family and why the hell were you singing to a Bob seger song?

Itachi- I lost at a ping-pong turnement, and I was mad. Plus I like Bob Seger... It's not like you dont Sing when no ones around.

Aimi- Hey ya! Alright now fellas , now whats cooler then being cool. ICE COLD! Were you saying something Itachi?

Itachi- Dont make me Mangekyou your ass!

Aimi- Eeep Alright sorry. Well your dare is to dance around in front of EVERYONE singing something by this 'bob seger' person.

Itachi- (starts dancing.)

Hidan- this is fucking scary, let's get out of here kuzuku-honey.

Kukuzu- Danm straight. (the fruity zombie team leaves.)

Naruto-My eyes they burn!

Sakura- This is sooo scary- KA BOOM!(sakura explodes)

Aimi- AHHHHHH No! Sakura are you okay?

Sakura- Goodbye- I think this is it...

Aimi- Noooo...Well I tried, bye Sakura.(walks away from dead sakura.)

Sasuke- You know the dara said you had the power to revive her.

Aimi- Yeah (runs back and revives sakura.)

Sasuke- I shouldnt have told you that.

**DEIDARA PWNS! um...  
I dare Deidara to... go to MacDonalds and have his mouths on his hands eat hamburgers. (ew.)**

**By- kiba-ish**

Deidara - Erm... Okay... (goes to MacDonalds and eats a Bug Mac with his hands)

Everyone - Ew!!!!

Aimi - And now, what we've all been waiting for... Naruto NEXT!!!!...And you're gonna have to wait a bit longer 'cause this chapter too long!!! Bye!!!


	7. Sea World

K-chan - I swear to kami I ment to update earlier.

Hidan - You mean Jashin don't you?

K-chan - I would, but I can't be suicidal due to the fact I'm not immortal. I think last chapter where I broke my neck proved that.

Hidan - Aww shucks...I don't want to be the only person that believes in Jashin.

K-chan - Whelp... Three words!!! Suck to be, adding a fourth, you!!!

Kakuzu - Nicely said.

Hidan - SHUT THE HELL UP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

K-chan - There's the real Hidan.

Anyways, here's the schedule for this chapter so far. First, questions and dares. Second, my favorite retarded quotes from funny stories. Lastly, Naruto NEXT.

**K-chan where are you?! also nice chap )hahaha  
**

**Itachi: (Super glomp's Itachi)(Itachi falls) ha! now that your trapped question time... if you where stranded in the middle of the ocean with all the girls you like,what will you do?**

**To Kisame:I dare you to go to seaworld and eat all of the fishes there.**

**To sakura: why are you so bitchy?**

**To Naruto: (Glomp's naruto)hahahaha now every time that sakura revives you punch her.**

**To Sasuke: (glomps) why did you leave and joined orochimaru?! did he try to rape you?**

**To hinata: ha! so you do like Itachi more! i knew it! now...i dare you to...go and spend a night with itachi at a hotel (hand hinata 700$ bucks) enjoy the night!**

**To Deidara: (glomps)ha! why do you have mouths in your hands**

**To Itachi: (SUPER GLOMP!) now what is your favorite animal? then go to a pet shop and buy it,name it, then when zetsu gets hungry you let him eat it, then cry and yell "WHY?!"**

**- Takai Hana**

K-chan - Why, thank you.

Itachi - Hrm...I would probably have my way with all of them, have Hinata get angry, cry, have her forgive me, and then have awsome make up sex.

K-chan - (twitches) Um...Okay then.

Kisame - (eats fishes from sea world and then cries) WHY DO YOU MOCK ME SO?!!! MY GIRLFRIEND WAS THERE!!!

Aimi - Well now she's in your stomach so suck it.

Sasuke - I wanted power...and yes... Yes he did.

Hinata - But I- (Aimi covers mouth and shoves the two out the door)

K-chan - Here.. I'll help. (hypnotizes Hinata into being more confident)

Deidara - It's a keke genkai-

Aimi - And according to my sources (points at yaoi picture pile), he used to use them for that something (winks at blushing Deidara), but after he joined Akatsuki he usually just got Sasori to- (K-chan covers mouth)

K-chan - You're embarrassing him!

Aimi - Oh Sn-hap!!!

Itachi - (buys a bunny and names him Mr. Snuggles)

Zetsu - (eats Mr. Snuggles)

Itachi - (falls to his knees) WHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!!??????

K-chan - Yeeeaaahhhh...(Thwomps Itachi with fan knocking him out) Anyways, I'll invite Sesshy-kun.

Rei - (pouts) I wanna invite him over.

K-chan - (sighs) Fine. (gives her the ability to do shit with the story...I like to call it the power of pwning.)

Rei - Yay!! (snaps fingers and Sesshy falls through the ceiling) ZOMG!! THAT WAS FREAKING AWSOME!!!

K-chan - No. (takes away the power of pwning.)

Rei - (snaps) Nothing happened!!! DAMMIT!!!

Sesshy - Why am I here?!

K-chan - 'Cause I said so foo'. Now go take you and your pimp cane and go sit your ass down!!!

**To Hinata: I do like you cause you are my favorite character and the reason why is sakara is a bitch, ino is a bitch, Tsunade is old REALLY REALLY OLD, Tenten is flat and also werid, Temari is shikamarus girl and i don't steal another dawgs girl, and all the other girls on the naruto sierise are not important enough to remember  
**

**Itachi: YOUR SO COL**

**Kisame: YOU SUCK!**

**Sasgay: YOUR GAY!**

**Naruto: Your ok dude**

**Gay(aka guy): the power of youth is bull shit! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND KAKASHI IS WAY COOLER THEN YOU AND HES A PEDOPHILE**

**Kakashi: your wierd**

**To hinata: I dare you to lap dance for me plz i will give you cookies**

**And lastly K-chan You are so awsome Aimi you are so-so  
Bye bye good chapter later**

**- yamithecardmaster**

K-chan - (blushes)Oh you cheeky little boy!

If Hinata were here and not at the no tell motel, she would thank you.

Erm...same with Itachi.

Kisame - You know something? YOU SUCK!!! (runs away)

Sasuke - (nervous glancing) No I'm not. Who told you that? Why would I care if you called me gay? I'm not gay. What did you have for lunch today?

K-chan - Why are you being all defensive about it?

Sasuke - I'm not being defensive. This conversation is over.

K-chan - But Sasu-

Sasuke - OVER!!!

Naruto - Yay! I'm okay!

Kakashi and Gai - You're weird!!

K-chan - I'll be sure to have her give you a lapdance when she comes back.

Aimi - What the hell??? I'm 'so so'??

K-chan - (sticks out tongue) Guys like me better 'cause I don't rape little blonde pyromaniacs!

Aimi - He asked me to stick my hand down his pants thank you very much.

**SORRY FOR PUTTING YOU IN THE HOSPITAL! (cries)I feel so wretched...but hey!**

**Naruto: I dare you to walk around with fox ears and a fox tail on, and be all cute! I also want you to to write 'I hate ramen' on a black board one million zillion KATRILLION times, without the help of your shadow clones.**

**Gaara: I dare you to wipe off the black eyeliner that you wear...I wonder how small your eyes will look...**

**Hinata: I heart you! HINATA FOR EVER! (glomps) Umm...why do you where such a big jacket? We all saw you during the exams when you had your jacket unzipped while you where on the stretcher! YOUR BEUTIFUL!**

**Deidara: Zomg...I LOVE YOU TOO! (glomps him) Umm...I dare you to walk around on your hands for a whole chapter!**

**Keep up the good work!  
Migratedpineapple...who is, in fact, a girl...**

K-chan - It's okies! (looks at the end of the review) OMG!! Did I call you a guy?! GOMEN NESAI!!! (cries)

Naruto - NOOOO!!!

K-chan - Do we have to go through the manly speech again?! Suck it up!!!!

Naruto - (walks around with fox ears and tail on while writing 'I hate ramen' a million billion ...it was a lot of times okay?!) I feel so violated.

Gaara - Umm...I'm not wearing eyeliner. It's a whole bunch of bags under my eyes from getting no sleep.

K-chan - You're borrriiinnnnggg.

Gaara - 'Da fuck? I have a fuckin' monster inside of me that could be unleashed at any moment and could kill the entire village, and you think I'm boring?!

K-chan - Well, when you say it like that...(pouts)

Deidara - (does handstand) Eeewww!!!! The floor tastes disgusting!!!! Don't you ever clean??!!! (K-chan shakes her head)

Itachi - (walks near Kakuzu)

Kakuzu - CRACKER!!! (runs away)

Itachi - (turns to readers) Ever since I stole his money he calls me that! How did he know I like crackers?!

**Haha this is fun to read :) I dare Gaara Sasuke and Neji to have a 3 sum!! They are my favorite naruto bishies**

**- Akizu Miko**

K-chan - (chibi cries) Okay. (sniff) Go into the bed room.

Sasuke, Gaara, Nejinator - (walks into bed room)

* * *

K-chan - Part II!!! YAY! 

This is from Tayuya Mail Order Bride!

**The TV flashed.**

_**Over 800 percent of the people you know...are on drugs. Whether it be Alcohol, or marijuana, THEY ARE ON DRUGS! AND 800 percent of the people they know are on drugs, and 800 percent of the people those people know are on drugs.**_

**"Isn't 800 percent MORE than who you know?" Hidan murmered in an aggravated tone, but drug commercials do that to a lot of people.**

_**Over 123.34 million deaths are caused by drinking alcohol each year.**_

**"This thing is making me want a beer..." Hidan muttered.**

**"I hate drug commercials." Itachi growled simply.**

**"But they help children not do drugs!" Tobi replied. "Do you want me on drugs, Itachi?"**

**Kisame chuckled a bit, realizing what most of the people thought at that moment.**

**"I dunno..." Tayuya sighed. "But I think the anti-drug commercial shitheads ARE on drugs."**

_**This is your brain. (Holds up egg) This is your brain on drugs, (Holds up frying pan, swings it towards egg but misses) Umm...my bad, Lets retry that. THIS is your brain on drugs.( Misses, pan flys out of hand and hits cameraman). Oh...um this..shattered skull is your brain...on drugs?**_

**"Maybe." Kisame chuckled.**

**"Yep, these stupid morons are definitley on drugs." Tayuya laughed. "Fucking idiots."**

Shoop DA whoop!!!

This is from Sasori's Boyfriend

**Sasori was in a very pissy mood and was hunting two people down. And no, not annoyed pissy, but like KILLER pissy. Like, I-am-going-to-rip-your-organs-and-feed-it-to-you-while-i-sit-and-watch pissy. Sasori was on a killer intent and wasn't going to stop for anything. Not even itachi and his mangekyou sharingan. He was like. UBER. Pissed.**

This is from Operation Get A Boyfriend.

**" You like Itachi's younger brother?" Sasori said, a bit taken back by the news.**

**" Nope, actually, I like Ino, Sasuke's for Shino." Hinata said with a dead serious look on. The Akatsuki, ( Or Kohona Branch, they called it. They said there was another in Suna they were friends with.) Gagged almost.**

**" Your lesbian?!?" Kisame said, not believing it. Hinata then smirked a bit.**

**" Nope, actually, yes, I do like Itachi's little brother." Hinata said, this time sincerely.**

I had a few more, but I couldn't remember what stories they came from. One of them was something like this.

**Hinata didn't have the balls to stand up to fellow before them.**

**But Sasuke had plenty.**

If you know what story that's from please tell me!!!!

* * *

K-chan - I know I said there was going to be a Naruto NEXT, but honestly, I absolutely hate that show. I was only watching it 'cause my cousin was over. 

Cous' - Hells yeah biyotch!!!

K-chan - (turns to cousin) SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WHORE!!!!(turns to readers) Ahem... Anyways. Unless someone(more than one person preferrabley) BEGS!! Me to do the NEXT I simply cannot do anything but say no. (dodges kunai)

Haha! Missed me!

(gets hit in the head with a watermelon)

Fuckers...


	8. Lost Voices

K-chan - Heyys everybody! I'm baaaccckkk!!

Everyone - OH SHIT!

K-chan - Damn...am I that god awful? (startsto cry) Maybe that's why I only got 2 reviews last chapter!! (sits in emo corner)

Aimi- Poor darling! (must hide the butcher's knife's! Wait... she hid them from me.)

Aimi-Were are the danm Knifes!

K-chan- there in the topsob-sob Drawer!

Aimi- Alrightie

**HI! I JUST STARTED READING THIS FIC AND I LIKE! Okay,DARE TIME!**

**Hinata-I dare you to wear a frilly white dress like the one Tohru wore in Fruits Basket. No you can't wear your jacket over the dress.**

**Emo bitch (Sasuke)-I dare you to dye your hair pink,cosplay as Sakura,and sing 'Break Stuff' by Limp Bizkit.**

**Itachi and Deidara-I dare you two to have a drinking contest and when your good and drunk, Itachi has to make-out with the mouths on Deidara's hands.**

**Gaara- Can you put your legs bahind your head?I'm just curious thats all.**

**Neji-Why don't you cut your hair? Me and my cousins have come to a conclusion and we think your afraid of getting a haircut,are you?...Well...don't just stand there,ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!**

**K-chan keep up the good work kay'? Oh, and a quick question, are you a Sasuke fangirl?**

**Cuz' I hate his guts.**

**HEAR THAT YOU UGLY EMO MANWHORE! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL WITH THAT BUBBLEBUM-HAIRED BITCHY-PRICK SAKURA! WHY DON'T YOU SLIT YOUR WRISTS IN THE CORNER OF A ROOM AND QUIETLY BLEED TO DEATH LIKE A GOOD LITTLE PROBLEM CHILD! (Chases after Sasuke with a rusty chainsaw while wearing a hockey mask)**

**please update soon.**

**Signed,  
Yes I Can**

K-chan - (stops being emo) Damn that was boring. And I'm only a fangirl to an extent. After that dumbshit (points to Sasuke) killed Dei-kun I've been wanting to bitchslap that dumbass for a long time.

Hinata - O-okay. (puts on dress and twirls) Do I look good in this?

Guys - (nosebleeds)

Sasuke - (reads review)Why do people always pick on me?!

K-chan - Because your a man whore! Now shut up and dye your damn hair!

Sasuke - HELL NO!

K-chan - (sighs) You leave me no choice. (snaps fingers and Sasuke looks exactly like Sakura) Now it's either dress up like her or BECOME HER! (maniacal laughter)

Sasuke - Ugh! FINE! (dress up as Sakura) Happy?!

K-chan - Hm... I'm content, but I need to add a detail. (bitchslaps Sasuke)

Sasuke - (holds cheek) Good god woman! (pouts)

Its just one of those days  
When you don't wanna wake up  
Everything is fucked  
Everybody sux  
You don't really know why  
But you want justify  
Rippin' someone's head off  
No human contact  
And if you interact  
Your life is on contract  
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker  
It's just one of those days!!

_[chorus_  
Its all about the he says she says bullshit  
I think you better quit  
Lettin' shit slip  
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip  
Its all about the he says she says bullshit  
I think you better quit talkin that shit  
(Punk, so come and get it)  
Its just one of those days  
Feelin' like a freight train  
First one to complain  
Leaves with a blood stain  
Damn right I'm a maniac  
You better watch your back  
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program  
And if your stuck up  
You just lucked up  
Next in line to get fucked up  
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker  
Its just one of those days!!

_[chorus_

I feel like shit  
My suggestion is to keep your distance cuz right now im dangerous  
We've all felt like shit  
And been treated like shit  
All those motherfuckers that want to step up  
I hope you know I pack a chain saw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight...  
I hope you know I pack a chain saw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight...  
I hope you know I pack a chain saw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break your fuckin' face tonight!!  
Give me somethin' to break  
Give me somethin' to break  
Just give me somethin' to break  
How bout your fuckin' face  
I hope you know I pack a chain saw, what!!...  
A chain saw, what!!...  
A motherfucking chain saw, what!!...  
So come and get it

_[chorus_

Gaara - No...I can't

Aimi - Of course you can silly! (puts legs behind his head) There you go!

Gaara - (crack noise) Ow! I actually meant it when I said I couldn't fucktard!

(Aimi runs away)

Deidara & Itachi - (Get's drunk)

Itachi - (Hic) You wanna go (hic) into my room?

Deidara - (giggles) Of course! (skips to Itachi's room)

Neji - (Le Gasp) I will never cut my hair!!!! (pets) It's so prettiful!

Hanabi - Dumbshit. (cuts)

Neji - (falls to knees, holding hair) WHYYYYYY!!!!!

K-chan - Thanksies! Oh and I was, but SOMEBODY (glares at Sasuke) just had to go and go kill Deidara!

Deidara - I'm right here. (waves)

K-chan - SHUT UP YOU DICKLESS MANWHORE! YOU'RE DEAD! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO PROVE A POINT?!!

(Aimi walks back in)

Aimi - Soo...

Everyone - How was rehab?

Aimi - Thanks for asking!

(Everyone shuffle's over to Deidara)

Everyone - What happened?

Deidara - I don't know, She tied me ups in the basement after seeing a episode of Desperate Houswives. She put the Paris Hilton Cd on repeat and she said it was good, but she tells LIES!

Everyone - (shuffles away) Go away crazy lady!

Aimi - Hey, hey hey...hey. Guess what my favorite song is!!!!! The Bad Touch!

K-chan - HELLS NO BIYOTCH! (thumps Aimi) I FOUND THAT SONG FIRST!!! (voice becomes scratchy and insert the word for unable to understand...-able )

Aimi - Ow...Ugh. Fine... I still like Lily Allen better...

K-chan - (moves lips, but it's silent)

Aimi - Poor K-neechan lost her voice!!

K-chan - (sticks middle finger up)

(Kirie shows up)

Kirie - I wanna replace K-neechan! (pushes K-chan)

**XD LOL...Nice chap by the way :). Aw i wanted a naruto NEXT  
:( ...oh well cant do anything right?**

Sasuke: I dare you too...watch all 'Dora the explorer' movies!

Hinata: Did you have fun in the motel with Itachi? (winks)

Naruto: RAMEN! you know what? ramen actually is good!

Kisame: (i like you but i just like to tease everybody, except Itachi) Go watch every episode of 'blues clues', which it will be quite intorerable since it will constantly reminding of you being blue :)

Itachi-kun: (SUPER GLOMP!)Hm...do you like bad girls? or the sweet girls?

Deidude(Deidara): i dare you to...lick Kisame constantly and tell him he tastes fishy. I dare you to lick Zetsu too, and tell him that he tastes like 1 year old spinach(just be carefull to not get yourself eaten)

Suckura(sakura): Go straight to the center of town and yell "Im a whore that doesn't bathe and sell myself for 8 bucks straight" 20 times.

**- Takai Hana**

K-chan - (mouths 'sorry')

Sasuke - There is no way I'm watching that gayass show!!

K-chan - (writes 'go ahead' on a piece of paper and hands to Kirie after giving her the power of pwning)

Kirie - (squeals) YOU WILL GO IN THERE AND LIKE IT! (snaps fingers)

Sasuke - (tied up in a room with a big screen TV playing Dora)

Hinata - (blushes) It was... um... hot?

Naruto - I KNOW RIGHT?! IT'S TEH SHIZZY COOKIE!

Itachi - As long as she can see her feet and has a B-cup, I don't really care.

Deidara - (stills tipsy) OKAY! (licks Kisame) Holy shit! You taste like fish food!!! (licks Zetsu) Blehck! Gross. You DO taste like one year old spinach.

Sakura - How is that any different than my normal day? Oh wait, I say 'I'm a whore that doesn't bathe and sell myself for 3 bucks straight...'

Kakuzu - Damn...You're just as that dumbass store down the street (points to 99 cent store)

K-chan - (writes 'fuctards')

Kirie - I'm bored. I say LET THERE BE HOT GUYS GIVING US LAPDANCES!! (snaps fingers and Bad Touch comes on)

K-chan - (wirtes a secret note to Kirie)

Kirie - (Reads) M'kay! (snaps fingers)

Aimi - (tied up in the closet) Damn. Should've seen that coming.

Kirie - (knocks on closet door) We'll let you out in...(looks at boys) ...oh about an hour...or five.

K-chan - (makes out with Deidara) Sasuke is pissing me off... Hey I got my voice back! (takes Kirie's power of pwning away)

Deidara - I don't wanna... I love Aimi.

K-chan - (snaps fingers) You love me for this chapter.

Deidara - (Carries K-chan into his room)


	9. Short, short chapter

K-chan - M'kay. Because the last chapter was so short, I'm gonna write a new one...That may or may not be as equally short. (grins)

I also want to mention that the main reason I'm writing is because of this review!

**YAY K-CHAN WROTE A NEW CHAPPY! I LOVE K-CHAN! AND HINATA!**

Now dare and question time thingy

K-chan: About the message don't worry will forgive you if you give me a ten pound bag of cookies and sausy pics of you and hinata. HINATA AND K-CHAN FANBOY TIME WO

Aimi: You where mean and made me cry so i dare you to act like that Bus sized forhead bitch sakura, and dress like her too

Hinata: I would do anything to be able to atlest go on a date with you, Give up on naruto i can make you way happier

Naruto: HOW DARE NOT NOTICE HINATAS FEALINGS FOR YOU! I WILL KILL YOU SLOW AND PAINFULLY!

Kirie: Your new tell me about yourself

Itachi: Kill kisame and sasgay and do us all a favor

Awsome job on the chappy K-chan  
Yamithecardmaster ( Or yami if you don't like long titles)

K-chan - YAY!!! I HAVE A FANBOY!!! (huggles and gives yami-kun a kiss)

Aimi - Bastard...(dresses up as Sakura) You know I really don't mind this. I actually like Sakura.

(Everyone walks in)

Everyone - OMG! SAKURA'S BACK!!! WE KEEEL YOU!

Aimi - (screams and runs)

K-chan - Hehe.. (sips sweet tea) If only Aimi would apologize to Yami-kun. (shrugs) Oh well. Ohmigosh! I almost forgot! (gives 10lbs of cookies and saucy pics of me and Hinata)

Hinata - Um...Sure..I'll go on a date with you...(blushes)

K-chan - Um...Since your not in the story, Yami-kun, I'll Narutard for you.

Naruto - Wha? What are you talking about? Who's a narutard?

K-chan - (smacks and kills Naruto) Dumbshit.

Itachi - With pleasure. (kills Sasuke and Kisame)

Kirie - NOOOOO!!! SASUKE!!!!

K-chan - (sighs and rolls eyes) Fine. I'll bring them back next chapter.

Kirie - Well...I'm Kirie Takayani. My sisters are Kaiyuri (K-chan waves ferociously) and Aimi (Aimi is still running and screaming).

I love Sasuke!!!! I also have two, count it TWO keke genkai.

K-chan - I do too!!!

Kirie - (pushes K-chan) ME TIME! GOSH!

Anyways, I have the Sharingan and the Hanagan. The Hanagan (K-chan screams 'I made it') nullifies(makes it not work) any other keke genkai as long as it's activated. Aimi has it in both eyes as well as has moody eyes. K-chan has the Byakuugan in one eye and the Hanagan in the other.

K-chan - If you want to know what we look like, send a review asking for the link. I drew some awsome pics of us.

Aimi - Oh dear god!!!! Will they ever stop chasing me!

Everyone - MUST KILL SAKURA!!!!

Aimi - I'M NOT SAKURA DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!

K-chan - That's enough of torture I suppose. (snaps and costume comes off)

Aimi - Finally.

K-chan - WAHH!!! I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE!!! I NEED REVIEWS!!!!!

Kirie - Yeah... I guess that means that's it for this chapter? (K-chan nods) Darnit!


	10. Iwagakure, pigtails, and whatnot

K-chan - I'm not dead!!!! (dances)

Everyone - Dammit.

K-chan - Whelp, some bad news is that Kirie and I are fighting.

Everyone - ...

Naruto - She doesn't even show up here that often.

K-chan - Shuddap halfpint. Now, the good news is that because of her absense, I'm holding auditions for all of the readers (it's optional)!!! WHOOT!!

Aimi - How in the cow are you suppost to be able to do that?

K-chan - ...How in the cow?

Aimi - (giggles) My boyfriend and I made an agreement not to curse. (flips hair)

K-chan - ...(twitches) Anyways, the contest is really simple. Send in your best dare/question. The one we agree on for the best wins!

Aimi - But how are they going to be able to write in the story.

K-chan - The winner may give me the liability to use them in my story. They get to pick their own name, Naruto boyfriend or girlfriend and so on.

Everyone - OH DEAR GOD!!!!

K-chan - Damn wusses. (turns to everyone) SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

**Hi Hi K-chan **

Great chappy super good

Dare and question time

K-chan:I would love to have that link to the pic you mentioned it would complete my life, Also i started a fan club for you for now it is only me and i am its president but i will recrut (or thretan) new members into joining

Aimi: Just appalogise and i will not torture you anymore (Other wise i can think of way worse ways to do so next chapter)

Kirie: I didn't know you liked sasgay (Sasuke but no mater how you spell it, it still sounds the same) but you got to know hes gay right?

Naruto: come back to life so i can kill you again and again

Sasgay: You escape my rath, you should be extremly grateful to Kirie

Suckura(Sakura): YOUR A BITCH!

Kakashi: BURN YOUR ORANGE BOOK! WAHAHAHAHAHA!

K-chan (again): (Yami has a massive nose bleed from the kiss and begins his super happy time dance)

Great chappy update soon  
K-chans fanboy forever  
Yami 

K-chan - (squees) YAY! I GOT A FANBOY!!!!! And I already sent it to you. (winks)

Aimi - ...Fine... I'm so-...sorr-...sorry. (pouts) But it's NOT like I car-

Deidara- Shut up Ai, Before you make yourself look like a bigger idiot

Everyone- (nods there head in agreement)

Aimi- No one loves me. I'm going to run away and join the circus, were I can make the fleas start there own fan club for me.

K-chan- But Ai, you have no talents a cicus would want.

Aimi- (Runs to a closet, then runs back in a bedazzled dress that can blind you.)

K-chan- What glittery monstosity are you wearing?

Aimi- I'll entertain with my dancing talent and beauty.

Deidara- I think that's called a stripper.

Aimi- ...Meanie head. (cries)

K-chan - As much as I agree with Deidara, I'm feeling oddly nice... (turns to Deidara) That wasn't nice!

Aimi - Yea. It wasn't nice!

K-chan - You shouldn't be so mean to Aimi- neechan!

Aimi - Yea, you shouldn't be so mean to me!

Deidara - Why is she repeating everything you say?

K-chan - ...That's a good question.

Aimi - It sure as a twinkee is a good question!

K-chan - SHUDDAP!

Kakashi - I don't wanna burn it!!!!

K-chan - Here. Give it to me. I'll keep it safe!

Kakashi - (squeals) Really!? (hands K-chan book)

K-chan - Nope. ( throws book into fire)

Kakashi - (faints)

**Sasuke- I dare you to kill Naruto. That way you'll gain the Mahegenkyou...however the hell you spell it! And then kill Itachi using Mahegenkyo. SHOW YOU BASTARD BROTHER YOU MEANING FUCKING BUSINESS! Then commit suicide, cause I hate your emo ss.**

**- CertainDestiny**

K-chan - (le gasp) Not Itachi!

Sasuke - I was happy 'til the end...

K-chan - Oh well, I guess that means I'll have to find a new boy toy. (walks over to Sasori)

Sasuke - (kills Naruto) I don't care how man times you say believe it. It will never happen!!! (gains Mangekyou) Whoot!

Itachi & Sasuke - (engage in the worlds longest glaring match)

K-chan - (twirls hair) So, Saso-kun. Wassup?

Sasori - ...I dunno...

K-chan - (drops pen) Whoops! (Picks it up. Bend and snap!)

Sasori - (nosebleed)

**I dare Sakura and Hinata to spend 72 hours strap to a lawn chair while Naruto, Sai, Lee and Sasuke tickle-tortures her mercilessly.**

**- sco23**

K-chan - Hehehe... That can be arranged! (snaps fingers)

Hinata & Sakura - Huh? What? (strapped to lawn chair)

The boys - (tickles with a feather)

Sakura - NOOOOOOO! Not the ticklage! I can't handle it!!

Hinata - (laughs) Oww, my sides hurt! Stop!

K-chan - Never!!!!

And now, some author-ing from Aimi!!

Aimi- ( clears throat) I declare a proclamation!

Kai- Of what, exactly?

Aimi- I declare on IWAGAKURE!

Deidara- What?! Why?

Aimi- I have a theory!

Kai- Which is?

Aimi- That everyone from Iwa wears a ponytail!

Deidara- Not true! My sister had pigtails!

Aimi- Tail is still tail!

Jiriya- Did someone say tail?

Aimi- I did.

Jiriya- Awwww, Ya'll bitches are uglez!

Aimi- That kind of is why we dont do drugs!

Kai- Like you.

Whelp, that's it I suppose. No more dares and I'm out of ideas. Until next time!!!


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Parody