Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

**A./N.—Hey, guys. Please be lenient, considering this is my first story. I know, I hate this "first story" thing, too, but bear with me. And, now, the disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in it. **

_**Lily's POV**_

As she strolled along the flat terraces of Hogwarts, she sucked in the cold, frosty air that seemed to leave a hole in her chest. She shook her straightened, long, red hair, and a brief smile spread across her face.

This was her favorite type of morning. It was perfect for anything that she planned, not that she had, of course.

Out here in the early morning with a thick layer of snow covering everything, she was happy. She flicked out her wand and the folding chair that had been suspended in midair floated gently to the ground.

Lily Evans sat down, gazing at the frozen lake. It was Christmas Break, and no one would bother to look for her. Out here, she could properly analyze what had been going on for the past few months.

This year was the first year at Hogwarts she hadn't spent at Alice's place—a manor, Lily remembered. And, recently, she thought with a pang, her parents had been murdered. What was even more frightening was that they had been killed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

It made Lily uneasy, seeing that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named knew her, or at least, one of his followers _knew_ her.

It was also the reason why she couldn't go home.

Petunia had blamed the whole incident on Lily. She couldn't decide which was worse: her sister blaming the murder on her, or the fact was that it actually _was_ her fault.

It was heart-wrenching to lose her sister for the third time.

Lily Evans had lost her sister for a bloody three times.

The first time was when she had gotten her letter showing acceptance into Hogwarts.

The second time was last summer.

And then, now.

Last summer had almost fixed things for them. Lily allowed herself to be lost in those good memories…

_ There was a quiet knock on the door. Assuming it was her mum, she called out quite cheerfully, "Come in!"_

_ The door creaked softly and the smell of French vanilla wafted through. Lily looked up and saw her sister, as slender and pretty as ever. _

_ Her pretty brown hair and green eyes did not match the voice that came out. _

_ "Lily?" she asked timidly._

_ "Tuney?" Lily said, confused._

_ The old nickname seemed to make Petunia relax a little. She attempted a small smile before asking, "Can I come in?"_

_ Although Lily was baffled by it all, she opened the door wide and spread her arms. "Of course, but it's a little messy…"_

_ "Lily," Petunia whispered, "I'm tired of us being separate. We were best friends! I'm so sorry."_

_ Still not understanding, Lily cupped Petunia's face in her hands. "Hey, Petunia, are you alright? You're being awfully nice, and that's not you. Who are you, and what have you done to my sister?"_

_ Earning a glare from her, although the edges of Petunia's mouth were lifting, Lily relaxed a little. So her sister had not gone completely crazy._

_ The words tumbled out of Petunia's mouth._

_ "Can we just be the Evans sisters this summer? The way we were before?"_

_ "Oh, Tuney," Lily said, flinging her arms around her sister. "Yes, yes, yes! I missed you so much…"_

They had a great summer.

And then Snape had to ruin it all.

_Snape,_ Lily thought bitterly. _I don't know him now. He isn't the boy who had been her best friend when she was little. He was an evil man who was going to serve He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And he RUINED me and Tuney!_

"Lily?" a tenor voice asked, jolting her out of her thoughts. "May I join you?"

She whipped around to see who it was, and her emerald eyes found an extremely sexy face.

Potter.

Lily felt the edges of her mouth pull up involuntarily.

"Sure," she invited, spreading her arms. "Why not?"

He sat down with his chair, and took out two thermoses out of his "satchel", as he called it. As Lily called it just to tease him, it was his "man-purse".

"Hot chocolate?" he offered, holding a thermos. "Prepared by the house-elves of Hogwarts. Delicious!"

He dramatized it by taking a sip and pretended to die of contentment.

"Shut up. I'm trying to think," she said rather sharply. But Lily ruined the effect by taking the chocolate and taking a sip. Delicious, just as he said.

Potter. Another of her problems. She was sure that he was nothing but a toe-rag last year, but now she wasn't so sure. He had grown up considerably over the summer, but was still popular among everybody. He was Head Boy along with her, which was why she knew him better now. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

She sighed inwardly.

She was actually jealous of him, not that she was ever going to tell him. Not to mention that he was dead sexy now…and he had stopped asking her out this year, which left her rather disappointed, though she didn't know why. She didn't hate him now, but she sure as hell didn't like him either.

Still staring at the lake, she took another sip of the hot chocolate.

Enjoying the taste, her eyes fluttered shut for the brief warmth in the cold weather.

She exhaled loudly. She was fine now.

"Lily?" Potter asked, breaking the companiable silence. "You want to talk about anything?"

"No," she repeated, her tone _slightly_ softer. "Nothing at all."

Undaunted, he smirked. For an odd reason, she felt relief when she saw it. She was glad all of the _real_ Potter hadn't gone.

He leaned closer and his smell drifted over. Involuntarily, she licked her lips and leaned closer.

His smirk became more pronounced.

"How about a kiss, lovely?"

Suddenly, Lily Evans was feeling very warm.

Shaking herself out of it, she stood up. "We should probably go back to the castle," she said, reverting back to herself, but it came out a little meaner than she had intended. "Would you like to walk back with me?" she added, trying to soften the previous statement.

A flicker of disappointment showed in his eyes, but, as soon as it got there, it was gone.

"No," he said absentmindedly, not looking at her. "I'll stay out for a few more moments."

"Alright," Lily said, squirming in the awkwardness between them. "I'll be off."

She stood up, her boots sinking through the snow, and flicked her wand at her chair. It flew up to a reasonable height and trailed behind her. As the lake passed from her view, she couldn't shake the feeling she was being watched. Lily whipped around, and there, by the tree was Avery and Mulciber, who were both glaring at her.

"Well, well," Avery drawled, "what have we got here?"

Snape, who she hadn't seen before came into view.

"If it isn't Head Mudblood," he sneered, getting short laughs from the other two. "Mulciber, get over here! We've got a Mudblood for you to test those new curses on…"

Lily, reacting the first was any muggle-born would do, started with physical violence. She grabbed the floating chair from behind her and hit Avery, giving him a nasty lump on his head.

She debated whether she should run, but decided that she was absolutely _tired _of running away from everyone. She was going to fight her battles.

"Mudblood, you are going to pay for that," he snarled, shooting a nasty curse at her, which she narrowly ducked.

Feeling like an idiot for not getting her wand earlier, she whipped out her wand and muttered, "Incareous!"

Immediately, he was bound in ropes, tripping to the floor.

Smiling in satisfaction, with Avery down, she went on to get Snape. But he was already one step ahead of her. He had her by the hair and snarled, "Lily, why didn't you just run? You had to come and meddle, and now you're just going to pay, _Evans." _

The use of her surname hurt her more than it should, especially coming from Sev—no, Snape. She had always thought there might be a little connection between them, but it was obviously gone. However, if she had managed to turn around, she would have seen the small glimmer of hurt in his eyes and know that all between them had not been lost.


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again, guys, reviews would be appreciated immensely! So, please review!**

**Now for the disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters…now, I'm sad. D:**

**I know this chapter isn't that good, considering it's really fluffy and all, but review and tell me which parts you don't like, so my future chapters won't be as horrid. Thanks for reading. (I know, I know, these A. /N.'s are horrible, but bear with me…)**

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_**James's POV**_

He was wallowing in his own thoughts as he sat there in the freezing cold, clad only in a jacket.

Lily.

He was sure that she was one of the most bloody _frustrating_ people he had ever met.

He slid his hand through his hair, leaving it messy as ever.

They were about to kiss, he was sure of it. Then, that exasperating "prim-and-proper" part of Lily had to pop up, and the moment was ruined.

He had changed over the summer, and to his surprise, Lily had, as well. She was a lot more fun to be around now, and it was just as well; the Heads of Hogwarts had to do quite a lot together.

And that was what was so exasperating.

This new side of Lily had made him fall even harder for her. Spending more time with her had not helped that.

It was odd, how all the girls at Hogwarts wanted him, and the one girl _he _wanted, _didn't_ want him.

Still debating as whether to ask her out anytime soon—after all, she had just begun this year not to hate him—he was shaken out of his thoughts with a loud, _loud_ scream.

A scream that sounded like Lily Evan's.

James bolted straight up and began running towards the direction. When he arrived, he saw something that did not please him at all.

_Snape, _that little bastard, was holding _his_ girl by her hair, probably threatening all types of torture to her, judging by her expression.

_Two-faced,_ he thought, angrily. _And, he was her best mate, too!_

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _he roared, and immediately, Snape fell to the snow, frozen in place by the body-bind curse.

Lily rubbed the back of her scalp, combing her hands through her dark red hair. Then, she turned around to look at him.

A look of—was it?—relief spread across her face.

He walked over to her and offered her a hand.

"You alright?" he asked, not letting his true concern show.

"No shit, Sherlock," she replied, somewhat testily. Lily looked up at him, and slightly cushioned her rather harsh tone. "Yes, I'm fine."

She took his hand and pulled herself up. "Can you help me modify their memories? I don't want to create a big stir."

He looked at her slyly. "What, no thank you?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Dear, me!" Lily said in a high falsetto. "Thank you for rescuing me. You are forever in my gratitude!"

James let out a laugh.

"That's more like it," he agreed. "After you."

Once again, she rolled her eyes, but this time the edges of her mouth were pulling up in a smile. Lily walked over to Avery, who was still writhing furiously in his bonds, and she pulled out her wand and tapped him between his eyes.

"_Obliviate,"_ she murmured, and watched in a smug expression as his eyes slid out of focus. With another flick of her wand, the ropes slid off him in a neat pile.

Watching James do the same to the other two, she said conversationally, "You're not too shabby at Charms, if I may say so."

He smiled at her, and replied, "Well, I believe you asked me to accompany you back to the castle back by the lake. I accept your offer."

Rather pompously, he marched to her side.

Laughing, she hit his arm playfully, and said, "Come on, already, then."

It was around eleven when they got back, and breakfast had already passed. To her horror, Lily's stomach growled.

"I see you're hungry," he remarked, wiggling his eyebrows.

She flushed bright red, matching her hair.

"Well," she said, looking as if trying to keep her temper in check, "I'll just have to wait for lunch."

He winked, watching her blush harder, and he hoped he was dazzling her.

"No need," he said, maneuvering her towards a hall he was sure that she had never been to. "You're talking to James Potter, someone who knows the castle like the back of his hand."

She looked bemused, as if trying to sort out something inside her head. But considering her expression, it had to do something with the fact that he was touching her. And when he stopped in front of a large painting, she looked utterly confused.

"Watch and learn," he said, and he reached up and tickled the pear.

Lily watched in amazement as the painting swung open and showed a large and neat kitchen.

James gave her an elaborate bow, and said, dramatically, "Welcome to the Kitchens of Hogwarts."

Melly, one of his favorite house elves, came up to him.

"Mister James! How are you t'day? Are Mister Sirius, Mister Remus, and Mister Peter here as well?"

She looked behind him, and saw Lily instead. Melly looked at him curiously, and addressed Lily.

"Well, greetings, ma'am. I am Melly, lead house-elf of the kitchens. Come, sit!"

Lily was still in a stupor of amazement. She felt a hand on her back, ushering her towards a simple table with four chairs.

"Two lasagnas please, Melly," she heard James order quietly, "and some hot cocoa, as well."

He sat down from across her, and smiled ruefully at her. "I hope you don't mind I already ordered for you."

"No," she said, absentmindedly. "When did you find this place?"

"In our third year," he replied. "Actually, for once, it was Worm—Peter, excuse me—who found this place. It was rather odd, since Sirius who's the hungriest of all of us."

The painting door swung open, and both Lily and James turned to look.

Sirius, Peter, and Remus walked in.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered.

Out of the corners of his eyes, he saw Lily smile.

"Lily, dear," he boomed, grinning at her.

"Black," she smiled, "how's your break been so far?"

Sirius shot James an incredulous look that plainly said, _Is she on drugs, mate? She's being nice to us!_

James gave him a _go-with-it_ smile, shrugging slightly.

"I think she's in shock," he mouthed at the Marauders. "Ran into Snape, Mulciber, and Avery. She practically killed them."

"Potter," Lily said, "I'm sitting right in front of you, albeit I'm turned towards Remus right now. I know you're telling them about this morning. So, say it loud, so I can hear you, as well."

She turned around and grinned at him, with lasagna about to go in her mouth.

He winked at her, and said, "Sure thing, love."

Lily flushed red, and said, "Don't call me love."

"No problem, _love._"

She turned in her chair again, looking at Remus and Sirius, not bothering to look at Peter, seeing as he was eating—rather disgusting to look at.

"So why are _you _here?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Sirius answered first. "Well, Lily flower, er, Lily," he corrected when he saw her glare, "we are growing men! And we thought Jamsie here might have been here for an late morning snack." He pointed at James.

"_You_ didn't tell me you were looking for Lily flower here," he accused, avoiding her icy stare.

Looking rather sheepish, he said, "Well, I, er, bumped into her."

"With two thermoses of hot chocolate?" Lily countered.

"Hey," he said, defending himself. "You can ask Sirius! I bring two bottles of them every time!"

Turning instead to Remus, she asked, "Does he really?"

Remus rubbed the back of his sandy colored hair. "Well," he began, rather guilty, "we all do. Except for Sirius—he gets three."

After fifteen minutes of talking to them, Lily announced, "I'm really proud of myself."

Sirius snorted, and said, "Yeah. You should; I mean, you kicked some arses today."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Not that. It's the fact that I've been talking to you guys for half an hour, and I haven't gotten mad. I swear, I just need to hex people more…"

To her credit, the four of them paled.

"Now, Lily," Remus said—haltingly, mind you, "that wouldn't be such a good idea."

"I'm joking!" she said with disbelief, but added a laugh. "Lighten up! What happened to the Marauders 'famous' joking manners?"

After a slight pause, she added, "Well, I'll be off. See you guys around."

Lily gave a small wave and left.

The Marauders all smiled charmingly (except Peter) and said, "Bye, Lily!"

Once she left the kitchens and the painting was firmly shut, the other three pounced on James.

"Holy shit, man!" Sirius erupted. "Why didn't you warn us?"

"Prongs, mate! Since when did Lily Evans like you?" Remus asked, not bothering to keep the astonishment out of his voice.

"Nice job, Prongs," Peter said. "I'd never thought I'd live to the day where all of us would have a conversation together without some type of interruption!"

Remus and Sirius nodded their agreement.

"Damn, she's fine," Sirius said, earning his third glare of the hour. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but she's perfect for you."

James smiled smugly. "I've changed. She's changed. Lily Evans is going to be mine this year."

"To Prongs," Sirius boomed, "for finally achieving his lifelong goal!"

All of them laughed.

"Cheers!" the four said, clinking their butterbeers together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys. I know it's been a long time since I updated, but my computer broke, so, yeah…**

**Well, here's another chapter, and please, please, review? **

**(Really, I'm begging here, and if you know me, I never beg.)  
**

_**Lily's POV**_

_Bugger, _she thought as she glanced at the clock. _It's patrolling time._

She straightened up on the squishy chair she was sitting on and closed her eyes briefly.

Standing up, she resisted the urge to go back and slouch in the warmth of the Gryffindor common room. Lily grabbed the cloak on the arm of the red chair, and set off to the empty corridor where they usually met.

She rounded the corner and glanced up to see Potter waiting for her, tapping his foot impatiently.

His usual greeting smile was slightly strained, as if he wanted to be somewhere else, but his attitude was the same.

"Hey, Evans," he said, giving her his famous trademark smirk.

"Hullo, James," she replied pleasantly, suddenly in a good mood, even though him calling her by her surname had soured it a little.

He frowned, probably thrown off by her calling him by his first name, but he didn't make a remark about it, which was just as well.

They walked in a rather stiff, but companionable silence, until they reached the hall with the huge window.

Potter stared outside, until something caught his eyes. His shoulders stiffened. Hurriedly, he said, while making jerking hand motions of sorts, "Lily, I need to go. Like, right now. Can you finish the rest of the patrol by yourself?"

"Er, why?" she found herself asking, sharply, cursing herself over the silly stumble. "To go off to snog some girl?"

"No, no," he said, still looking out the window. "Look at me, Lily."

She brought her eyes up to him, still a tad defiant.

"Do I look like I'm about to go snog a girl?" he asked, rushing his words.

"No," she admitted. After a moment, she relented. "Yes, go on ahead."

He grinned at her and swept his hand across her face, which sent involuntary shivers down her spine.

Potter ran down the hall, calling, "You're the best, Lily."

She smiled, knowing that he couldn't see her now. Sparing another glance at the window, her smile stopped and immediately turning into another frown.

A lone figure was running—very fast—down the empty Hogwarts ground, and it was chasing what looked like a dog—was it a dog?—that was bounding right towards the Whomping Willow.

She knew that figure.

"Sev," she whispered. "Oh, my god. Sev."

_What the hell is he doing? _she thought, heading off towards Potter. A bright glare caught her eye, and she turned around once more to look. She smiled…the moon was beautiful.

The moon.

The whole thing took on a new meaning. The moon was full.

_Remus._

"Oh, shit," she muttered, whipping out her wand, taking off in a run. She quickly cast a spell that made her invisible—a hard charm, mind you—and dashed outside, heading straight towards the Willow.

Panting, she ran faster than she did in her entire life, reaching the Whomping Willow before Sev did.

She could see his silhouette, and though he was running fast, he hadn't done it as urgently as she had.

Sev—no, Snape—stopped a good ten meters away from the writhing tree, eyeing it warily. Cautiously, he slowly approached the tree.

"Stop!" she screamed. "Are you insane?"

He looked around, shocked, but not seeing anyone, since Lily was still under the invisibility spell, apparently deciding it was just a figment of his imagination, turned back to the tree.

Fuming, she flicked her wand and popped into view.

"Snape! Honestly, stop this mess!"

He faltered in his step, and turned around again.

"Lily?"

"Yes! Who else would be an idiot to go and chase you? Just get back to the castle!"

His eyes narrowed. "Potter put you up to this, didn't he?"

Her eyes widened with confusion. "Potter? No! Just get back to the castle!" she repeated.

He went back to the tree, ignoring her.

"_Locomotor Mortis,_" she murmured, shooting the spell towards him.

A twitch of his wrist showed that he had predicted her attacking him. He stopped the curse and gave her a lazy look.

"My, my. Head Girl using magic to curse others," Snape taunted.

She could have screamed with frustration.

"Sev—"she began. And stopped.

She screamed.

Lily hadn't been paying attention to the tree, and it caught her unaware. The branch lifted her high in the air, and it grasped her writhing figure with an iron grip.

Snape gave her another taunting smirk, and went on towards the tree, with more cautiousness and less abandon.

He got close, and to her surprise, knelt down, as if trying to find something.

Then the Willow froze.

Lily fell, screaming again, but he didn't even give her a single glance. She fumbled for her wand, praying she could get it before the ground got to her.

She didn't get it in time.

She squeezed her eyes shut, praying that her neck would break so that she wouldn't feel the pain.

She hit the ground, but it was soft.

_Soft?_

Lily opened her eyes, daring a peek, and realized someone had slowed her fall and put a cushioning spell.

Overwhelmed with the relief that swallowed her, she looked around.

Not a single soul in sight.

_Snape wouldn't have done it_, she thought bitterly.

A howl pierced the silence.

Her thoughts stopped.

_Severus Snape._

A name for trouble.

"Severus Snape!" she yelled. "Get out of there!"

She waited a moment for a response, and having none, she went in the hole herself.

There was a long tunnel, and quietly, she said, "_Lumos_."

She gasped and her suspicions were finally proved correct.

_Remus Lupin was a werewolf._

And her former best friend was about to become one.

"SEVERUS SNAPE!" she screamed, "MOVE AWAY FROM REMUS, YOU BLOODY GIT!"

He met her eyes for a brief moment, but he turned back to Remus's thrashing figure.

Remus—no, the sweet boy she knew was not this monster—was slowly getting up, baring his teeth at the unwelcoming threat. A rat scurried across to Remus, biting him hard. He let loose another howl at the pain.

But then, the werewolf lunged forward, giving Snape a nasty blow to the head and a horrid gash running up his arm.

Though she was staring at it all with absolute terror, she couldn't help but feel a _twinge_ of vindication.

_Served him right, _she thought, _for not listening to me. I warned him._

Her thought was cut short, as the werewolf began stalking towards her, teeth showing with a guttural growl.

For the second time in the night, she found herself awaiting another painful death.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and just _imagined_ how awful the pain would feel...those teeth breaking her skin...

But, once again, she peeked.

And saw a magnificent stag barreling into the werewolf, knocking it to the ground.

She could have _sworn_ she saw the remorse, plain and clear in his eyes, reminding her that Remus was fighting for control, trying to maintain himself, trying to keep himself to not hurt Lily.

A huge dog—too big to be one, but apparently it was—came hurtling in, pinning the wolf down securely. It jerked its head towards Snape and Lily, looked at the stag with a-was it?-apologetic look.

The stag looked defeated, shooting the dog a comptemptous look, and turned towards Lily.

She staggered backwards.

Those eyes.

She knew them. But _where had she seen them?_

It picked up Snape, and nudged her wand arm. Understanding its intent, she muttered a healing spell, which, to her satisfaction, immediately healed, clearing up the blood, and left a long scab.

Oh, well. Things couldn't always be perfect.

The stag set Snape down, and jumped up and left.

Lily watched it go as she just sat there, too tired to move.

She closed her eyes, trying not to doze off while doing it.

She felt hands gently shaking her, and her eyes flew open, meeting startling startling blue ones.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore said kindly, "are you alright?"

"Yes, sir."

"May I ask you what you are doing out here?"

"Er, sir," she began, stammering, "I was patrolling, and I saw Snape outside chasing this huge dog, down towards the Willow, and, er, I knew he had some kind of intent. So, er, I ran outside, and tried to get him to stop, because I, er, had suspicions about a werewolf, so..."

She trailed off, not quite ending her stuttering sentence.

"I see," he murmured. "Well, I must have to warn you, Miss Evans. As Head Girl, you cannot do these kind of things. But I'll let you go, because I understand why, and I must say, you are quite good at healing for a seventh year."

She gave a small smile, unsure of whether to be frightened or happy that he complimented her.

"Well, Miss Evans," he said, "you can finish your patrol, and please find Mr. Potter and tell him he must finish patrols before going anywhere."

"Yes, sir," she repeated.

"You are dismissed."

She walked away, back to the castle, clutching her cloak close to her body.

_How did he know these things?_

She was just finishing her last corridor, up near the Astromony tower, where there were a lot of broom closest, and heard a noise.

Assuming it was just another couple out during night, she walked around the corner, not expecting trouble.

And was met with, once again, Avery and Mulciber.

"Well, well," Avery sneered, "if it isn't Head Mudblood."

"Y-you shouldn't be out a-at this time of the n-night," she managed to get out.

Avery and Mulciber exchanged smirks.

"W-well I a-am," Mulciber mocked.

"Fifty points from Slytherin," she snapped. "Get back to your common room."

They exchanged another glance, and Mulciber nodded once.

"_Des_—" began Avery.

"_Cru_—"Mulciber started.

"_Finite Incantum_!" Lily muttered, stopping all their spells.

"You shouldn't do—" she chastised snappily.

And scream, for the third time in the night.

It had to be a record.

She could feel a horrible, awful pain...breathing was hard...the pain...it wouldn't go away...

Lily could hear laughing...laughing at her in pain...

And then, it stopped.

She blinked, eyes smarting and still short of breath, reminscing that torture, and looked up, only to see Avery and Mulciber hurling their insides out.

Suddenly, Potter was there, holding her close, asking repeatedly, "Lily, are you alright? Are you okay?"

"No," she croaked, "but I will. Take me back to our common room, please."

"No," he replied firmly. "You are going to the hospital wing, no matter what."

Still in too much agony, she didn't bother with a reply.

She didn't even mutter a word when he picked her up, which she had sworn he would never do.

It wasn't until Madam Promfrey had her in bed, all fixed up, when she finally said a word.

Potter was there sitting right next to her.

"Lily?" he asked, still anxious, his arrogant attitude all gone. "Feeling better now?"

"Yes," she whispered. "thank you. James."

Lily offered him a smile, and he grinned back at her.

But then, she looked in his eyes and reeled back.

"Lily?"

Whispering, she said, "You're him."

"Lily, what are you talking about?"

"You're him," she repeated. "You're the stag."

Immediately, he glanced around, seeing if anyone had heard her, but the hospital was empty.

"You're the stag."

"Yes," he replied, his voice hushed. "You can't tell anyone. _Not anybody."_

Her bright green eyes held his hazel ones.

"I would't. You can't think that I would."

A silence fell between them.

"I know," he said, immediately fierce. "Of course you wouldn't."

"Poor Remus," she mused. "I wish I could help him."

"Tell me about it," he sighed. "That's why we became Amangi."

"_We_?"

"Oh, shit."

"The dog—oh, my god. Sirius," she said, realization dawning on her. "The rat was Peter."

James—she had stopped thinking of him as Potter—looked at her tiredly. "You can't tell anyone about that, either."

"I know."

He looked at her once more, something unrecognizable sweeping across his face.

But then, he leaned in close to Lily and smiled with all the arrogance, once again the James Potter she knew.

"Sweet dreams, love."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, Guys. I got quite a lot of reviews, and I'm really happy about that.**

**Thanks to all who have reviewed. I'll stop here, whining about them, because I know they're annoying, and all that stupid crap. **

**(But pleaseeeeeeeeeee review! ;D)**

**And don't get confused-I'm pretty sure you won't, but just in case-this is James's point of view of what happened that night. To make things CLEAR on who really saved Snape...yeah. ;)**

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_xxx_

:D

_xxx_

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_**James's POV **_

_Where was Sirius?_ he thought, peering in the common room, looking where Sirius _usually_ was, in a corner near the fire, surrounded by girls.

Odd. He wasn't there.

He knew that Remus was already down by the tree, since the moon was full tonight, but Sirius usually left about thirty minutes later. Strange.

James only saw Peter, sitting alone, rapidly scrawling something down.

His eyes, unthinkingly, glanced over at Lily, who was enveloped in her group of friends, eyes closed and laughing every so often.

The tips of his lips curved up.

And swerved right back down.

"—weird. Sirius said...prank...Snape...funny—"

What was he up to now?

He pushed past the group of gossiping girls, making sure to send them a dazzling smile. It sent them into whispers and giggles.

"—God! ...hot...James Potter!"

A ghost of a smile lingered on his face as he jumped out the portrait hole, ignoring the Fat Lady, calling something like, "—RUDE! I WAS SLEEPING, POTTER!"

He walked down the hallway, out of prying eyes, and glanced around, making sure that there were no people in sight.

James pulled out the map from his pocket, and murmured, eyes still darting around, "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._"

He watched as the ink blossom across the paper, revealing all of Hogwarts to him.

He frowned.

_No Sirius._

Well, he wasn't going to sneak out tonight. Not when the moon was full. He was probably in the Room on the Seventh Floor, whatever it was called, snogging some blond chick.

Or maybe brunette. Maybe red.

Red head.

Shit.

_Lily was going to be pissed if he was late._

He tore down the hallway, glad it was now past curfew—no people to gawk at him.

He got to their spot where they usually met, and James found no one there.

Strange.

He looked at his watch, now ticking past eleven.

Huh. Lily usually got here right on the spot.

Three minutes later, he was tapping his foot, ready to go looking for her.

Then, she rounded the corner, looking oddly happy and content.

Why was she happy? Did she get a boyfriend?

_Maybe you?_ some voice said, inside him.

_Don't be daft,_ he told it. _She's hated my guts for six years. We're only to mutual friends._

James twisted his face into his regular smirk as she neared. "Hey, Evans."

For some reason, her face fell, just a little, but it was enough for him to catch it. Her tone remained pleasant, though.

"Hullo, James."

_James? What the hell? What happened to Lily?_

He imagined what he must of looked like to her, and despite her optimistic outlook today, there were actually faint black circles under her eyes. He doubted _she_ had noticed. But he decided not to push it.

She led the way, but he caught up to her. She didn't seem to be speaking, which was just as well, so he could sort out what was going on with Sirius.

_Something is wrong, _that same little voice told him.

_Thank you, Captain Obvious, _he told it.

_God,_ he thought. _I'm having a conversation by myself._

He almost smiled.

To distract himself, he gazed at the window, and for the second time of the night, his amusement soured.

A big dog was running towards the Willow. He squinted. Was it really there? It _were _an awful long way from here.

But, seconds later, another figure came tearing after it.

And he knew that figure well.

Snape.

And it clicked together.

Sirius must of told him about the Willow.

Oh, god.

His arse was going to be so sore in the morning, and he would really regret this.

"Lily, I need to go. Like, right now. Can you finish the rest of the patrol by yourself?" He made some frantic gestures, knowing that he could never explain this in full.

"Why?" she asked, her voice—_was it?—_jealous. "To go off and snog some girl?"

He had tried to look further, seeing if he could spot them behind the trees.

"No, no," he said. "Look at me, Lily."

James turned around to face her.

He said, "Do I look like I'm about to go off and snog some girl?"

She really looked at him then, and hesitated.

Finally, she relented.

"No," she admitted, giving him the tiniest smile. "Yes, go on ahead."

He grinned at her, no smirks. It wasn't exactly genuine, but it wasn't fake, either.

"You're the best, Lily!" he yelled, as he dashed down.

He had wanted to say that for a long time, but now was a good excuse to do so.

As he turned the corner, he could have sworn that her smile had widened.

James whipped out his invisibility cloak, and _ran._

He reached the passage and rushed in.

He couldn't very well turn into a _stag_ at the moment, so all he could do was to _keep running._

Panting and out of breath—mind you, even for quidditch captain, it was quite a workout—he had reached the Shrieking Shack.

Remus immediately came at him, growling and hackles raised.

All at once, he transformed into a stag—the feeling would never get old—and barreled into Remus, effectively knocking him back.

The wolf shook his head, and realizing that James was now a stag, backed off; James could see that, though he was a wolf, his eyes were shining in relief that he hadn't hurt his mate.

Then, he walked, er, trotted, over to Sirius, and gave him a hard kick in the rump.

_Fuck you, _he thought, wishing that he could scream at Sirius for being so stupid to pull such a plan.

Footsteps neared, and he stood still, waiting for Snape to burst in any second, his eyes alert and attentive.

But then, he heard a screaming voice.

"Stop! Are you insane?"

Strange. It sounded so much like Lily.

After a few moments of silence, the voice returned.

"Snape! Honestly, stop this mess!"

He exchanged a look with Sirius. So it wasn't just him who thought it was Lily.

_Was it?_

"Lily?" he heard Snape say.

Oh, god. It _was_ Lily.

Even Sirius looked alarmed.

"Yes! Who else would be an idiot to go and chase you? Just get back to the castle!" she cried.

James would have laughed if he could. As it was, he snorted.

"Potter put you up to this, didn't he?"

He could hear how Snape spat his name.

_Hate you too,_ he thought, rather sarcastically.

"Potter? No! Just get back to the castle!" she yelled, her voice surprisingly stong.

He swore he heard confusion in her voice, an _really_ uncommon thing for Lily.

There was another silence.

Then, Snape said nastily, "My, my. Head Girl using magic to curse others."

James would have bet his broom that she was turning red with frustration.

"Sev—" he heard her began.

Then his blood turned cold.

She let loose a scream so loud that even Remus stopped his self-mutilation to stare in horror.

He shared a look with Sirius, and Sirius nodded. He leapt onto Remus, and James shifted back.

Hastily, he threw his invisibility cloak over him, and leapt out the hole, accidentally brushing Snape as he tried to get in. He managed to touch the knot, but James shoved him back and whipped out his wand.

Lily was falling, not even screaming, fumbling for her wand. She couldn't find it, though, and she just shut her eyes, not even trying anymore.

Hurriedly, he slowed her fall, and placed a cushioning spell beneath her.

He stayed long enough make sure she was okay, then rammed himself back down the hole and took off running.

He got to the odd looking gargoyle where the Headmaster's office was located, and he tried to remember the password for it.

"Er...Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans...Sugar Quills...Fizzing Whiz—"

"—Mr. Potter!"

James whipped around, and he faced twinkling, but sligtly tired blue eyes.

"May I ask what I owe this late night pleasure?" he gestured tiredly with his hand that held his hot chocolate.

"Sir," he said, "er, Sirius told Snape about the Whomping Willow, and I know Remus is down there..."

There was a hint of curiousity in his eyes, but he turned all business-like immediately. Funny how fast he changed.

"Very well. I trust you have been down the passages?"

"Er," he said, not sure how to respond, "yessir."

"Very well," Dumbledore repeated. "Let's not dally."

He set off, not really running, but James had to jog to keep up with him.

God. Old man walking skills. Damn, they were good.

"I need you to get Madam Promfrey; she needs to be awake for this," he instructed.

"Sir," he pleaded, a hint of desperation in his voice, "Lily's down there, too."

"Miss Evans? Why in the world is she down there?" he queried, his pace speeding up.

"I don't know! I guess she saw Snape in the window. Who the hell knows?"

A beat too late, he added, "Sorry, sir."

"Very well," Dumbledore said, for the third time.

_Did he say anything else? _James wondered.

"You may go down there first, and please try not to get yourself bitten."

As Dumbledore dashed—no kidding, and yes, it was weird—off to the hospital wing, he could have sworn that Dumbledore had muttered something along the lines of "_Oh, young love."_

Very weird.

He tore off in the passage, desperately hoping that he wasn't too late to save them.

James tumbled into the Shrieking Shack, Snape already on his back, probably not even concious.

Lily was in a corner, eyes shut, probably hoping she wouldn't die.

Remus was ready to go and bite Snape, but James barreled into him, knocking him off track, hoping he wouldn't regret this decision.

The werewolf snarled at him, all teeth showing, and started to launch off towards Lily.

James didn't even hesitate a single moment, flinging himself at Remus, for who-knows-how-many times for that night.

It had to be a record.

She peeked from her fingers, looking immensely relieved, a silent thanks clear in her eyes, finally standing up.

Sirius came briskly, knocking out any other of Remus's attempts, and jerked his head at Lily and Snape, sending James an apologetic look, which he ignored.

He headed towards Lily, slowly, as to not frighten her, and her eyes widened in..._recognition?..._and she fell back against the wall, steading herself.

No. He must of saw wrong. There was no way she could know that he was James.

He started towards Snape, and picked him up with his antlers. He nudged Lily, looking pointedly at her wand, which she seemed not to have noticed, but she got his meaning.

She flicked her wand at Snape, probably too tired for any more movement, effectively healing him, but left a long scar.

He looked at her, wondering if she was going to freak by this small blunder, but she looked like she could care less.

Fine by him.

_xxx_

James was walking back to his dorm, bloody exhausted from tonight, and he heard a scream that he was becoming _awfully_ familiar with.

Lily. Again.

But this time it went on. _And on._

He turned that corner so fast, wand raised, expecting anything.

Almost anything.

He gaped as he took in the gruesome view.

Lily on the floor. Screaming. Writhing in agony.

His brain screamed at him to stop them, whoever it was that was hurting _his_ Lily.

And he complied.

James blasted the bastard off his feet, the one who was using that atrocious spell and landed a nasty punch on him.

Ah. Mulciber. Lily must have run into him.

He sighed. Only she would have this kind of luck.

He let his guard down for a second, and he got surprised by a petty punch, but a punch nonetheless.

Avery.

He whipped around, sending something doubly painful and unwelcome, and left Avery there on the ground, kneeling in pain.

But he thought better of it.

Just to be safe, James left them hurling their insides out—he'd clean it up if he had to—before kneeling next to Lily.

She was still curled in a ball, eyes shut, a few tears leaking, and gasping as if she could never get enough air.

He brought her head close to his chest, a thing that he had thought would never happen, and asked repeatedly, "Lily, are you alright? Are you okay?"

"No," she croaked, her voice hoarse from screaming, "but I will. Take me back to our common room, please."

Our_ common room? Like, the Gryfindor one, or the heads one?_ he wondered.

But he dismissed that thought, as soon as it came.

"No," he replied. "You are going to the hospital wing, no matter what."

Oh, poor Lily. She didn't look like she had enough strength to even whisper, much less argue.

James scooped him up in his arms, feeling a tingle of exitement, althought he'd never imagined it like this.

She shifted slightly, the only notion that she didn't like this plan. Her eyes were closed again, scrunched in a way that made him wonder if she was remembering that pain.

God, it was hard seeing Lily like this, all vulnerable without a single comeback to snap at him. She was _in his arms, _for heaven's sake!

A trickle of blood ran down her arm, which he was sure she hadn't noticed. Now that he really looked at her, he realized that she was bleeding all over, tiny cuts all over.

It tore him apart.

_xxx_

In the hospital wing, after Madam Promfrey fixed her all up, and him too, he finally sat down next to her.

Watching Lily, James asked, "Lily? Feeling better now?"

He looked at her anxiously, feeling a _bit_ too overprotective, but Lily was obviously still drained.

"Yes." Her voice was stilled hushed. "Thank you."

She gauged him, and after a small pause, she added, "James."

Lily offered him a timid smile, a million thanks in her eyes for saving her, once again. He knew it must have been hard for her to give him even that much, because he knew that she hated being seen as weak or vulnerable.

James smiled at her, returning her gift, the first true one in a long time.

But then, she froze, her eyes locked on his, and suddenly lurched back.

"Lily?"

She was quiet again; she whispered, her emerald eyes wide with anticipation, "You're him."

"Lily what are you talking about?"

She couldn't possibly have guessed. No way. He hoped that she would drop the subject.

"You're him," Lily clarified. "The stag."

James looked at her, really looked at her. Her expression was absolutely certain, and he knew it would be a waste of breath to argue.

"You're the stag."

"Yes," he replied, his voice hushed, matching hers. "You can't tell anyone. _Not anybody."_

Her bright green eyes held his hazel ones, which darkened by the second.

"I would't. You can't think that I would."

A silence fell between them.

He thought of all the times she had been there for him, though she had hated him, she had _been_ there to get him back up, albeit in a rather rough way. He could only imagine how she did it with the people she loved. It was rare for her to show it though, but he knew her better than anyone else, even if the main reason was slip-ups from their arguments. She would never give his secret. Not in a thousand years.

"I know," he said, immediately fierce. "Of course you wouldn't."

"Poor Remus," she mused. "I wish I could help him."

"Tell me about it," he sighed. "That's why we became Amangi."

"_We_?"

Another slip-up. He _really_ had to stop this.

"Oh, shit," he muttered.

"The dog—oh, my god. Sirius," she said, realization dawning on her. "The rat was Peter."

James looked at her tiredly. "You can't tell anyone about that, either."

"I know."

He looked at her once more, feeling such a rush of emotion for her, doing something for someone she barely knew.

But then, he leaned in close to Lily and smiled with all the arrogance, putting that facade back on.

She looked relieved to see the James that she could deal with.

"Sweet dreams, love."

* * *

_xxx_

* * *

**Hahahahahaha :) **

**Same ending. I hope you didn't expect anything different. Sorry for the the long wait, but I went to California...and had an amazing time. But, yeah, I'm finished with this chapter. **

**Since this works well with other stories I see, I won't post another chapter until I get at least 25 reviews.**

**See? I'm reasonable, so it stands to reason, you should be too. Review, darlings. **

**Love,**

**once. upon. a. time. there. was. me**

**:D**


	5. Chapter 5

Well,** about time it I got those reviews.**

**Ha, you didn't believe me last time when I said I wouldn't update without you all reviewing, huh?**

**Nah, I'm just kidding. Looks like I'm not getting them. -_- But PLEASE FREAKING REVIEW!**

**And, hey, I don't care if it's only one person reviewing over and over and OVER again, just get there for me.**

**Kiss, kiss. Love you all, for reading. Especially those who've stuck with me since the beginning.**

**Oh, and by the way, I'm going to be changing perspective a lot in this chapter. (: Just warning you. If you don't like it, please tell me, 'kay? **

**One more thing, I'm not going to be telling you whose point of view it is. But it's pretty obvious. Just saying, since it's a little different from my other chapters. Yeah.**

* * *

_**xxx**_

* * *

Groggily, she opened her eyes.

Sunlight flooded her senses, smarting her eyes.

She breathed deeply, disinfectant and a heady scent that made her dizzy burst through her nose.

The hospital wing?

Lily opened her eyes fully, and was suddenly aware of James Potter sitting on a chair next to her, his arm looking a little raw.

She touched her head, which was throbbing a little, and it was still a little sticky with blood that hadn't fully washed out. A little painful, too, but otherwise, fully healed.

She let loose a small yawn, and stretched a little, before sitting up.

Lily tried to ease James in a better position—it had to be painful, sleeping like that—without making him wake up.

No such luck. His eyes flew open, trying to focus in on her.

"Good morning."

He blinked at her, put on his glasses, and ran his head through his hair.

"Lily?"

"That would be me,"

James yawned, stretching, his hard muscles showing through the thin material.

Lily tried, failing, to advert her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

Lily hid a smile# It was nice of him to ask her that.

"I'm better," she answered truthfully, managing not to cringe at the reminder of the torture she went through. "You?"

"Same," he replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. "You want to go back to our common room?"

Lily yawned. It was contagious.

"Sure. Ask Madame Promfrey first, though."

_xxx_

They were laughing when they got to the Head's common room.

"HOY!" Sirius yelled, lounging on their couch, Remus and Peter on the floor. "THEY'RE BACK!"

James looked at them in amazement.

"Bloody hell! How'd you guess the password?"

Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"Forget about that. Why are you in here?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

And she was dead sexy when she did that.

Remus laughed at her comment, though.

"To see if you guys were okay," he answered.

But James caught the real implication. _To see if I hurt you or not._

Sirius jumped in.

"And imagine our surprise when neither of you were here!" He wiggled his eyebrows. "Did you finally give in, Lily dear?"

Lily flushed bright red.

James intercepted her comment, before this was turned into a fight.

"Oi, mate, we spent the night in the hospital wing."

He looked at Lily, trying to see if she wanted him to tell the rest of them. Remus, poor bloke, thought that he did it.

Lily followed his gaze, and hastily interjected, "We got jumped by Slytherins."

After a small pause, she amended, "Well, I did, and James, er, fought them."

The other Marauders' gazes trained on him.

Damn.

"What did you do, James?" asked Peter, speaking for the first time.

There was an awkward pause in the room.

His eyes flicked over to Lily, who looked rather sick.

"Er—"

"I was _crucio_-ed by Avery and Mulciber. James came and made them hurl," said Lily, her voice matter-of-fact.

Despite the fact that she was slightly green, her voice was steady and cold.

There was another silence in the room.

James could see that Lily didn't want to talk anymore.

Even Sirius respected that. But he tried to lighten the mood anyway.

"Right," he said, "us Marauders are going to get going now. See you at lunch, Lily."

The rest of them followed suit and walked out the room.

James was the last to go.

Hesitantly, he placed a hand on her shoulder, hoping she wouldn't vent off on him.

He gave her a charming smile, and he was relieved to see her return a small one at him.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"I'm fine."

James looked at Lily, forcing a brave face for him to see.

Damn, she was stubborn. But that was his Lily.

He tilted her head up, compelling her eyes to meet his.

James tried to let her know that he understood; he wanted her to know that he was there for her.

The moment ended, and he withdrew his hand.

His heartbeat was racing now, but he casually covered it up.

"So long, Lily."

"Ditto," he heard her murmur, a quiet whisper.

_xxx_

The way he had stared at her was disorienting.

It was as if he was saying all those words that hung in the air, all the words that were unsaid, and he did it with one gaze.

Well, that was James Potter for you.

But it gave her a sense of safety, even if it was just a little, for a muggle-born like her.

Muggle-born.

The only reason she was targeted like this.

The reason that her life was upside down—no family, no home, and probably no job when she got out of school.

She wasn't the only one, Lily knew that.

But it hurt her to know that so many other people were suffering like her, some worse, too.

And it was all because of _him._

_No, _she immediately corrected herself. _Voldemort. I won't let him scare me. He can't do anything else to me now._

It _was_ true.

Lily didn't really have much people left in her world, besides her friends.

And even they wouldn't last forever.

She wished so hard that she could heal all of the suffering, all the pain.

If Voldemort—it was still hard to even think his name—was dead, it would be so much better.

Everything would be so much better.

If only she could...

But there were so many things Lily couldn't do, so many things she knew she would never do.

_xxx_

She was in the common room, writing her cards for Christmas.

Lily sighed. It was awful, just to do it alone.

She glanced at the clock.

Five 'til eleven.

Patrolling time.

A yawn escaped her lips, and she put away her things in a neat pile, casting a charm to keep people from touching it.

Lily stretched and headed out the common room.

At least the Fat Lady didn't make a fuss.

James was waiting for her, slouched against some wall, talking to a random Hufflepuff girl.

It gave her a slight twinge of annoyance.

_Just a crush, just a crush, _she repeated to herself.

A tiny, bitter smile formed on her face.

After all of this, it was a boy—James Potter, too—that she was mad about?

Funny.

"Hullo, there," she said, startling the Hufflepuff girl, interrupting their conversation#

She gave the girl a sweet smile# "Excuse me, but it's curfew."

The girl shot her a venemous look, and she whipped her blonde hair, walking, stomping, more like, back to her common room#

James offered her a cheeky grin# "You saved my life."

The little smile that often turned up while James was around showed up.

"Sure," she answered, her voice a little higher than usual. "No problem."

_xxx_

They walked a little in silence, until they turned the corner.

"Hey, James?" Lily asked.

"Yeah?" he answered.

She paused before she spoke, that faraway look that came when she was thinking slid onto her face.

Funny how he noticed.

"Y-You're a deer?" she asked, stuttering.

She had probably meant it as a question, but it came out more like a statement. Lily _probably _hadn't meant to insult him, though.

But he was offended, nonetheless.

"A _stag,_ love."

That snapped her out of her thinking state.

"Don't call me love."

He smirked, fueling her rage. She was just so _damn__ sexy_ when she got mad.

"Alright, Lily flower."

As he predicted, she turned pink, and her eyes flashed.

"That, either."

Alright. Enough playing with fire. He knew his boundaries.

"Right. So why ask?" he countered, genuinely wondering why.

"Becoming Amangi—that's serious magic. And you all did it? Just for Remus?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"You Marauders are a loyal bunch," Lily commented.

"Right," he agreed.

There was another silence, and James got an uncanny feeling that she was about to reveal the ulterior reason why she had asked him all of this.

"So, er, did Sirius ever tell you why he told the stunt on Snape?"

Aha. There it was.

"No," he replied immediately, his voice cold and sharp.

Actually, he had. But it wasn't like he was going to tell her. There was already enough strain on his and Sirius's friendship, and they had been through hell together. Life had thrown so many things at them; it was only through pure and true friendship and loyalty that it even survived this long. The Marauders definitely didn't need any more strain, at all. Their bond was strong, but it was only going to go so far.

It _most definitely _didn't need Lily bitching to them.

There was a prominent silence now.

They were almost done with their patrol, with the last floor to go.

Upon reaching it, they heard a noise in the broom closest.

His eyes flicked over to Lily, and she was glancing around, her stance wary.

They tread carefully, making sure they didn't make a noise.

It was probably just some seventh years snogging, but he knew that Lily probably wouldn't take that chance, not that he blamed her.

She peeked, and her figure practically sagged with relief.

Aha. So it was just a kissing couple.

He looked behind the door. So it was _sixth years_ not seventh years.

Sigh. They were doing it younger every year.

Not that he could judge.

He turned back to the couple, who were still not aware of the Head's presence.

Since Lily looked like she was on a high, she was _that_ relieved, he decided that _he_ would take points away.

"Alright, you two," he said, the pair finally looking up. "Get back on to bed. Ten points deducted, five for each one of you."

The two looked mildly embarrased, which was better than nothing.

They shuffled out of the closest, their hair rumpled, and their lips swollen, and headed back to their common rooms.

Once they were out of sight, Lily turned to James.

"That was a little creepy."

James rolled his eyes at her playfully. "Emphasis on little."

Lily slugged his arm, and he rubbed it, pretending that it hurt.

"It was a little scary, considering what I've been through."

He looked at her seriously, adding just a little humor in his gaze, to make sure that she wasn't uncomfortable.

"You've been through a lot."

Lily gave him a wry smile. "Understatement of the year, James."

"Yup," he agreed, an easy smile forming on his face. "But I'll be here, no worries. I'll always be stating understatements."

James had added a lot of humor—that was just how he operated—but he knew, hopefully, that Lily understood the true meaning behind it.

_He would be there if she needed him._

The look on her face confirmed that.

Her eyes were shiny, holding back a couple of tears. Lily reached out and hugged him.

She murmured, "Thanks, James. You don't know how much that means to me."

He returned the gesture, brain frozen, heart racing.

Holy mother of God.

_Lily Evans was hugging him._

Sure, he wanted a lot more, but she had hated him since the beginning, hadn't she? He figured it was a start.

One step at a time.

_xxx_

"Hey, James?"

Lily had been dying to ask him a question, now that they had gotten back to the safety of their common room.

"Hmmm?"

It stuck in her throat. He probably didn't want to be reminded of that night. Last night.

It seemed like a foreign memory to her, full of action while her life was the same boring routine.

"Nevermind."

She had his attention now.

She sighed. Why did everyone always want to know, after you said 'nevermind'?

"C'mon, Lily. Tell me."

He stared at her in that charismatic way of his, and she found her resolve weakening.

_Just a crush, just a crush._

But she wasn't so sure about it anymore, after what happened in the hallway.

Lily looked the other way, staring into the fire, wondering what question she should start with.

They stopped a moment. Or, well, James did, and she followed suit.

"What's wrong?"

That question, sounding so much like what her mother would ask, broke her.

"What if Avery and Mulciber and S-Snape—"

It was still weird, calling her used-to-be best friend by his last name.

"—try to do something to me again?" she blurted.

Lily felt his hand on her shoulder, and he spun her around towards him.

Her heartbeat was suddenly much faster.

It was like that moment earlier this afternoon, and the one just not too long ago.

Except now, she could still think, about how much she had hated him last year, and all the years before.

And look at them now.

They had both changed over the summer. A lot.

"They won't," he enunciated clearly. "I'll be here."

"But what if you won't? You're not going to be with me an entire lifetime," her voice breaking at the end.

_Shit._ She _hated_ showing emotion like this—it made her feel so vulnerable, so exposed. It was _embarrasing._

There was a small pause before he answered.

"Who knows what's to come? I might be."

* * *

**Ta-da. So did you like it? I'm sorry it took so long. I _did _have it ready, but then there was a thunderstorm when I was rewriting it, with better words and plot, and then the electricity went off.**

**And my labtop happened to be out of power. Talk about karma.**

**So, wha-la. How about it, eh? Yeah, there wasn't that much action. But things are finally sparking up between Lily and James. Finally. I've been waiting forever for them to do that, right?**

**I'm not going to do the review game again. How about review suggestions?**

**Let's _try _for 35 this time. Hmm, how 'bout it?**

**Cheerio, darlings! (:**

**Love,**

**once. upon. a. time. there. was. me**

**:D**


	6. Chapter 6

**OMG, YOU GUYS, I AM SO SORRY! MY FRIEND PUT A CHAPTER ON MY ACCOUNT, SAYING SHE WANTED TO REMEMBER THAT DREAM, BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT HER PARENTS TO FIND OUT. IT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THIS CHAPTER, SO I ACCIDENTALLY PUT THAT ON HERE INSTEAD. I AM FUCKING EMBARRASED, SO I'M EXTREMELY SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. D:**

* * *

**A./N. ; So guys, did you like the last chapter? Really, there was no action. **

**But there's more this chapter, and I completely forgot to do the disclaimer. But here it is; I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.**

**There. Don't get mad at me now. **

**Woot, whoop :D I'm crazy. Yeh. **

**Ohh..kay. I'm completely random. Just a little crazy today?**

**Oh, and I try to update on either Friday nights or Saturday nights, since more people read them on those nights. But I got completely stupid, and uploaded it on Sunday night. Bummer. But, 'kay, and I'll not be bothering you any more now.**

**Enjoy, since I don't know if I'm going to continue this story, or just slap an ending on it.**

* * *

The fire was warm, sending its heat all over the room, bathing her in a warm glow.

She had dozed off in the common room, and had had a vague dream that had something to do with kisses and a guy.

A very happy dream, but she didn't remember who the guy was.

Oh, well. You couldn't have everything.

Lily glanced at the clock above the fire. A quarter 'til ten.

She stretched, missing the familiar buzz of conversation in the Gryffindor Common room.

But it was only December 23, with still two weeks of silence left.

Lily decided to go on to the kitchen; she _had_ missed dinner. And she was bored.

Who doesn't eat when they're bored?

She turned around to her dorm to grab her cloak; though it was warm in the Common room, it was cold out in the corridors when she had to patrol.

Lily jumped out of the portrait hole—thank god the Fat Lady wasn't sleeping—and walked, rather slowly, towards the huge fruit painting on the opposite side of the castle.

On her walk there, she sorted through all the things that had been going on for the past two weeks.

Well, she had been jumped twice, by the same people.

Just thinking about the pain made her shiver.

Lily glanced around. The corridors were deserted, since it was Christmas break, and she felt lonely without the occasional students lingering at the corners.

Lily pulled her cloak closer to her body. Hogwarts seemed forbidding when there were not many people around. The candles all around lit the place eerily, and it made her wonder if someone was waiting for her around the corner.

But James usually showed up around those times. He had a knack for coming in at the right times.

James.

Lily wasn't sure if he was a blessing or a curse on her. She knew she had a major crush on him now, which was actually pretty horrifying.

No girl just _has_ a sudden notion to snog someone senseless after hating them fiercely for, oh, about _six years._

Who does that?

Lily Evans, apparently.

But he _had_ changed over the summer, that much was evident.

Lily couldn't help but wonder what had happened. There was something nagging at her, something that told her something..._bad _had happened to James. She desperately wanted to ask him what happened, but it seemed _intimate. _And she wasn't sure he wanted her to know.

And then she ran into a wall.

"Ow," she said, rubbing her head.

_What a loser I am,_ she said to herself, _thinking and then running into a wall. _The idea brought a small smile of amusement to her face.

"I didn't know slamming into me would make you smile, Lily-flower. You should do it more."

She looked up.

Oh, shit. Not a wall.

"Oh, er, sorry," she stuttered.

Lily could have face-palmed herself. Why was she _stuttering__?_

"Hullo, James," she tried again.

He was smirking at her—that little half-smirk of his—and replied with, "Hi there, Lily."

"What are you doing here?" she asked him.

James raised an eyebrow at her, something she never could have done.

"I could ask you the same question."

She sighed, and looked at him frustratedly.

"C'mon, James. Just answer my question, please?"

He rolled his eyes, sighing exasperatedly. "You know, the usual. Food."

Lily blushed lightly. The answer was obvious. Of couse he was.

James eyed her curiously. "What about you, miss rule-follower?"

Her cheeks flamed.

"Same," she admitted.

He laughed. "Lily, breaking the rules. Never thought I'd live to see this day. Well, see you in, mmm, thirty."

She gave him a wry smile. "'Bye."

James winked at her, sending her heart fluttering, but she managed not to show it.

"Catch you later, Lily."

_xxx_

Lily held the cup of hot chocolate gingerly in her hands. It was really hot.

She took her time walking towards their normal waiting spot, gently blowing on the top of the mug.

Lily rounded the corner, a smile on her face which quickly faded.

That blonde chick—the Hufflepuff one—had her lips locked on James's and there was definitely no twinge of annoyance this time.

It was bigger than she expected. However, she controlled it very well.

But as it was, she dropped her mug, the hot chocolate spraying everywhere.

The sound pulled herself back into her regular self.

She was stupid to believe that he even thought about her. He wouldn't even give two shits about her.

Tears stung her eyes, but Lily pushed them back,a familiar feeling appearing.

She forced a smile, and asked, "Sorry, am I interrupting?"

Then, she added brightly, "Sorry, um—is it Millie?—I'll patrol alone, if you want."

The glare she gave her was enough to tell. James was looking guilty and apologetic.

_I don't want your apology._

Lily turned around, because she was never one to leave a sticky situation, and flicked her wand at the mess.

It automatically cleaned up by itself, and then vanished into the thin air.

She turned back around and forced another smile.

"Well, I'll leave you two," she said, pointedly not staring at James. "See you later."

"Lily, wait!" she heard James call. "Wait up, Lily!"

Lily didn't even give him a glance.

_Stupid, stupid me. Who would love you? Don't look back now. Stupid, stupid me._

It wasn't until she was two hallways away from them did she begin to run.

The tears slid quickly and hotly down her face.

_The astronomy tower._

The thought came to her, and she decided to listen to it. The astronomy tower it was.

She ran there, and found herself a closet. She locked it tight, and the tears she had bottled for as long as she remembered came out.

_Stupid, stupid me._

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**Ta-daa! A little action from me!**

**This chapter was really easy to write, probably because it sort of—not really—relates to what I'm going through...sort of?**

**Nah, not really. But the thoughts, yes. Mmm.**

**So, please tell me if you don't like it. Just please don't make it too harsh? Please?**

**I mean, you guys, this _is_ my first story. I'm not even kidding.**

**You know, my parents haven't even looked at this, and they're telling me I'm a shitty writer. **

**So, please tell me they're wrong. And if they aren't, tell me how I can improve. Hmm, how 'bout it?**

**So, you guys, review for me?**

* * *

**OH, YEAH! **

**One last thing—I promise—I know a lot of you don't go on my profile, so if you could follow me on either twitter or tumblr, I'd be so happy. Websites;**

for twitter (since it won't let me type the website in) my username is; _wishingonastar

and for tumblr (my username) is ; perfection - is - not - needed .

Okay, so, no spaces, but fanfiction wouldn't let me type is without spaces.

Yeah, you can go on my profile for the link. Ta-da!


	7. Chapter 7

**So, I got a decent amount of reviews after that last author's note. Geez, you guys. I feel like a horrible person doing those. I mean, I'm actually an extremely nice person! Really!**

**You know, I'm like, the girl who acts innocent but gets all the dirty jokes and all that crap. Yeah, that's me. I've only let a few of my friends read this, and they're all like, "OMG, YOU WROTE THIS?" So, yeah. You guys probably don't even read this. So, here's my story for now. (:**

**No bad reviews, please? I mean, I'm still in school, and this sincerely is my first fanfic. :D**

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Lily sat with her knees to her chest, her head against the window, the snow and rain—sleet—slanting down, leaving her windowpane streaked with water.

Her eyes were dry now; all that was left was the dull ache—a pain she was really familiar with.

_How could I have been so stupid? _she thought to herself, as the tears threatened to fall once again.

Lily didn't want to cry. To cry meant to admit defeat. Defeat over that...that she did care about...him.

But she was strong. She wouldn't let him get to her.

Lily shouldn't have let him get close to her in the first place.

She stared off—past the grounds, as far away as she could see, as far away from Hogwarts her imagination might take her.

Lily's stomach growled, then, reminding her that she hadn't eaten all day long.

She glanced at the pretty wooden clock that hung in the middle of the room, between the beds.

4:07.

She got up, not wanting to bump into James, but she was honestly _really hungry._

Lily sighed. She would have to patrol with him tonight anyway.

Might as well get it over with. But if luck held, she wouldn't have to bump into him.

As if it would.

Lily slung her cloak over her robes, and slipped her shoes on.

She walked out in the deserted common room, where only two or three people were in.

No James.

Lily couldn't help the sigh of relief that left her lips.

She climbed out of the portrait hole and walked, rather hurriedly, towards the now familiar way to the Kitchens.

Lily got there—blessedly without bumping into anyone—and was immediately greeted by Melly.

"Hullo, Miss Lily. What'd you like t'day?" she asked, a smile bright on her face.

Lily couldn't help the curve of her mouth as she looked at the house-elf. Melly was practically _always _smiling, no matter what shit she had thrown at her. She admired her spirit.

"Hi-ya, Melly. I'd like whatever you have—you all cook anything to be delicious."

The house-elf gave her another brilliant smile accompanied with her oversized eyes, and shuffled off, giving her free time to think about James—outside her bedroom, where she had mainly sulked.

She shouldn't sulk. She should face him—with a smile. She wouldn't let him know how much he had hurt her.

_Forget about a plan_, she told herself. _Just go with it._

A different elf came up to her, and gave her a plate of steaming plate of...something. But it was good.

She finished it, and thanked them—no need to be rude—and left the Kitchens.

And bumped into James.

Fortune wouldn't last now, would it?

She looked at him, and all her resolutions faded away.

Yeah, sure. Like she would smile at him.

Lily glanced at him, and with an effort, turned her head away, and kept walking.

"Lily, wait!" he called after her, and she slowly turned around to face him.

"Hmm?" she asked, trying to make her voice cheerful.

"Lily, I'm sorry," James tried, trying to make her look at him.

She laughed—she honestly nearly convinced herself—and said, "Why are you saying sorry?"

James wasn't swayed. Damn.

"She kissed me. Not the other way around."

Lily could see that he was honestly so sorry, so very apologetic. The sincerity in his eyes was clear, and that was really rare.

James was literally begging her.

Lily could feel her walls breaking...fast. She needed to get out of here.

She gave him a bright smile, fake as she'd ever been. "James, it's not my business who you kiss."

Lily had been sorely tempted to call him 'Potter'; it would have made him less close to her. But if she had, the game would have been up. He would have known. If he hadn't already guessed.

Then, she had left, trying desperately not to look behind her after that.

_xxx_

He had screwed up really bad.

James ran a hand through his hair, looking at Lily's retreating figure.

The way that she had just looked at him, so full of insincerity and hurt, it drove a knife in his heart.

He still remembered Lily's look from the other night.

It had been so full of mistrust, hurt, and pain.

And she had tried to cover up, but he saw right through it.

That Hufflepuff girl still had her arms around his neck, and he'd had his hands on her hips, trying to push her away.

James didn't need to be a mind reader to know what Lily must have thought.

She would have thought that he was the player everyone knew he was. She would have thought that he played her the way he'd played dozens of girls. She would have thought she was just another girl to him. She would have thought that she was stupid to even have trusted him.

And that was completely off the mark.

James had the same crush on her for a bloody seven years. He liked her...maybe even loved her.

It tore his heart apart for him to know that she thought the complete opposite.

James had lasted for six years under her wrath and hate.

Somehow, her disappointment and hurt was worse.

So much worse.

But he wouldn't give up.

James had waited this long. He would find a way to win her back.

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**Blehhh. This was really...urrrgghhh. I don't like angsty chapters. *.* They're hard to write, and totally make no sense. Horrid, like I said.**

OMG, YOU GUYS, I JUST GOT A FANTASTIC IDEA.

So, you guys should review for me.

And here's how it goes. You can tell me how you want the story to go.

If I get under 45 reviews, I'll keep the drama going, putting more hurt in the story. Really easy for me, since I can totally relate. But I don't want toooo...

_OR,_ if I get more than 45 reviews, I'll let them make up, and go back to their normal flirty, not quite friends nor enemies, relationship.

Hell, I'll even throw in a bonus. 50 reviews, and I'll do a make-out scene.

Bleh.

I don't like doing those. But yeah, that's what y'all should tell me what to do.

Mmmm, what are you waiting for?

Get your lazy shhh off the keyboard, and type me a review. I don't care if it's, "Cool story, bruh." But I'd prefer a "gurrll." Yeah. My point is, REVIEW.


	8. Chapter 8, part one

**Hey, you guys, I'm sorry for not uploading in so long. It's been, what, three months? **

**But if it makes you feel better, I have an entire plethora full of excuses. For instance, I've been to four weddings, schoolwork has practically tripled, and shit like that. **

**But I'm here, and here's my Christmas present to you all. **

**By the way, I changed my tumblr. The link's on my profile, and I have 2K followers. Message me, and I'll give you a promo, kay? Merry Christmas, Happy Christmas, and Happy Hanukkah as well! c:**

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**_Lily's POV_**

She sighed, turning restlessly in her bed. There was nothing to do, with all her friends on holiday break. The remaining people who hadn't gone on vacation were absolutely boring, speaking in the same monotone. It was always the same narrow people, speaking the same mindless chatter.

But perhaps she judged them too quickly. She didn't know them really, but she wasn't in a mood for making friends, at the moment.

It was Christmas, and here she was, laying on her bed, doing absolutely nothing, on her favourite holiday.

Lily pondered her choices.

She could stay at her bed, restless, and do absolutely nothing, for the sake of pride.

_Or, _she could go up and hang out with the boys, pretending that nothing had happened.

Of course, it'd be awkward at first, but if she pretended it didn't bother her, then it wouldn't bother them. She hoped.

Without her realizing it, somehow, her feet dragged her to the the bathroom, where her hand automatically reached for her comb, to tame her tangling hair. Lily sorted that out, and before she realized it, she was in decent clothes and out of her pajamas, checking her reflection out in the mirror.

She whisked out the door, grabbing her cloak, and the door slammed shut, a tiny drift rustling her red hair pleasantly.

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_**James's POV**_

He laid on his bed, face down, wanting to bang his head.

He wanted to so bad to forget that memory. Because it was one of _those_ memories.

It was one of those frustrating memories, the type where when you remember, you get re-pissed at the situation, and you just want to bang your head repeatedly until the memory was forgotten.

"James," Sirius called, "get yourself up!"

He groaned into the pillow and shuffled around in his bed.

"Aye, mate," Remus said from his bed, "you can't complain forever, you know."

James flipped over onto his back with his pillow on his face, clutching it to his face.

"Lemmealoooe."

"Eh?" Sirius asked, now in the bathroom, staring vainly in the mirror.

"I think that was a 'leave me alone'," Peter piped up. He looked over to James for confirmation. "Right?"

He gave a grunt.

Remus rolled his eyes. "C'mere, Peter. Let's get this bad boy up. It's Christmas, mate!"

They dragged him out of bed, James protesting every step of the way.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "Sirius, lend a hand, won't you?"

Sirius paused combing his hair to look at them. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. _Aguamenti!_"

A jet of water sprayed from his wand and hit James, as well as splattering the two beside him, looking rather offended.

Peter was sputtering, looking a bit dazed, but James was on his feet at last, still grumbling.

"Alright, alright, I get it," James said, quickly drying all of them and the floor as well.

He pulled off his shirt and put on a robe, not bothering to mess with his hair. With that done, he flopped back onto his bed.

"Mate, you can't be holed up here forever. Lily won't be mad _forever._"

"What about that Hufflepuff girl? Laina, wasn't it?" Sirius asked.

"I dunno," James answered, a tad on the miserable side. "I didn't even do anything. I get there, and then she fucking attacks me. Like, back off!"

Sirius nodded his head sympathetically. "Desperate bitches. I understand. Been there, though I've never had such a liking for a particular person."

There was a knock at the the door. They all looked at each other, confused. Who would knock on their door?

Sirius got up to get the door. He opened it and immediately said, "Professor, I swear it wasn't us-"

He paused. Red hair. Definitely not Professor McGonagall.

"Hey, Lily," Remus called from his spot on his bed. "What brings you here?"

She smiled brightly at them, causing his heart to skip a few beats.

"I wondered if you all wanted to do something fun for Christmas?"

"I'm in," Peter said immediately, giving Lily a shy smile. She returned it, which caused a little flare of jealousy to come in James.

_She should only smile at _me, he thought.

"Sure, why not?" Remus said, his mouth quirking up into a grin.

"Count me in," he said, flashing her a grin.

There was a little surprise in her eyes, followed by uncertainty, but she seemed to accept his apology, and responded with a beam of her own.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well done, Evans. You got all my mates, and now I have to come along."

He noticed the expression on her face, a little startled, and quickly added, "Lighten up, Lily. I'm just playing." He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a rather wolfish grin, which Lily laughed outright to.

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**Hey, you guisee. You like?**

**This is part one of this chapter. I don't want to do it all in a chapter. Yeah. Um, I'm sorry if it's not tip top. But, do you realize this? I GAVE UP MY CHRISTMAS TO WRITE Y'ALL THIS STORY. BE GRATEFUL, CUNTS.**

******LOL, no. I love you! I'm sorry if I offended you, though. Merry Christmas!**I might upload part two today, maybe tomorrow. But it'll be soon, reviews or not.

**Expect one on New Year's Eve. Hell, if y'all have to give me enough reviews for this one, (say, 15?) and I'll give you one on New Years, too. Okay. **

**k bye**


End file.

Harry Potter, Hurt-Comfort, Romance