Naruto Naruto Infinite

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor Bioshock Infinite.**

**A/N: Again, this is NOT a crossover…in spite of how awesome a NarutoxElizabeth pairing would be. Also unlike many of my other stories, I fully intend to continue this one…though updates will likely be sporadic.**

**PLEASE READ THIS**

**PLEASE READ THIS**

**PLEASE READ THIS:**** Even though I don't plan to do a crossover, I do plan on putting in a scene that will HEAVILY spoil an important plot point for 'Bioshock Infinite'. If you PLAN to, at some point, play the game (which I heavily recommend you do) please avoid reading this fic. However, if you haven't played the game and you do NOT plan to, you don't need to play it, to understand the fic.**

**Now, on with the show.**

* * *

_Naruto sat in front of Jiraiya, showing a rare moment of weakness in his normally unbreakable mask. "Damn it, its not fair! What did I do to them?" the boy asked, turning to stare at the older man._

_Jiraiya was never one to sugar coat words. Not in situations like the one who was in. At that moment, he decided to just be honest with his godson, "You frighten them."_

_Naruto stood up sharply and leveled the man with a piercing glare. "Good!"_

**Chapter 1: Master of Time and Space.**

That had happened well over a week ago, during a point that Naruto had been feeling particularly depressed. While it didn't occur often enough, at least for a _normal_ person going through Naruto's problems, there were times when the boy's normal exuberance was cracked due to all the shit he had gone through throughout his short life. Jiraiya had actually been surprised that the boy had such a side to him. Jiraiya was feeling so down that Jiraiya had forgone his original plans and had given the boy his father's final gift, much earlier than Jiraiya had planned to.

The **Hiraishin (Flying Thunder God)**. Though some members of the village had mastered an incomplete version of the technique, no one had managed to mastered it to the level that Minato Namikaze had done so. Jiraiya had hopes that Naruto would be able to master the technique, though part of him knew that the boy wouldn't manage it anytime son. The **Hiraishin** would require are large amount of knowledge in fuinjutsu for him to understand, much less use. Jiraiya had given the boy the sealing array required for the technique in hopes that the boy would spend some of his time memorizing the vast array. After Jiraiya returned from the planned excursion to gather intelligence, which was sadly NOT related to writing his novel, he planned to teach the boy about fuinjutsu. So Jiraiya left the boy in a campsite on the outskirts of Wave Country.

For the following week, Naruto spent his time training, memorizing the array, and visiting Tazuna's family. After seven days of scanning the seal, Naruto, in spite of Jiraiya's warnings, felt that he was ready to attempt the technique. Really though…Jiraiya should have known better than to give the boy something like the **Hiraishin** and then leave him without adult supervision. That was like leaving Sasuke alone with a comatose Itachi and expecting the boy NOT to kill him. Or leaving Kiba alone with an unconscious opponent and expecting him NOT to teabag him. Or leaving Tenten alone…actually, Naruto really didn't know a damn thing about Tenten.

Either way, Jiraiya had made the mistake of leaving Naruto alone with instructions of the S-class technique and expected him NOT to learn it. That had clearly been a mistake and Naruto planned to emphasize the fact by…learning the technique. The blond frowned and shook his head.

There was only one true problem with the sealing array required for the Mastered **Hiraishin**. There was a specific part of the array, which Jiraiya was kind/stupid enough to point out, that was completely attuned to the Yondaime. It required an advanced knowledge of fuinjutsu to be able to attune it to someone else…one that not even Jiraiya possessed.

'How hard could it be?' the blond mentally asked himself. On a scroll, the blond drew out the part of the array that remained constant. That in itself had taken nearly thirty minutes of work. Afterwards he got to work on the part that would attune the **Hiraishin** to him. 'How hard could fuinjutsu be, really? It's just a bunch of squiggly lines, right?' Naruto went through it, as quickly as he could. 'Squiggly line…squiggly line…let's put a circle here…oh and a square…squares should be good right?' After a few moments, the blond placed his brush down and looked over his works. "Looks as good as the Yondaime's work."

Proud of what he had accomplished, the blond began channeling his chakra into the paper…

…which then exploded.

Naruto was thrown backwards several yards, stopping only when he connected with a nearby tree. After regaining consciousness and remember what it was that he had been doing, Naruto came to one conclusion. "That must have been the wrong array…oh well, practice makes perfect."

Walking back to his designated work area, he looked down at his destroyed scroll. He groaned and scratched the back of his head. "That one took so long to draw out…" At which point Naruto grinned and created two dozen clones. Each of the clones grabbed a blank scroll and began writing out the _constant_ part of the sealing array. After the work was done, all the Narutos placed the scrolls down and sealed them into Naruto's equipment pouch. All but one that is.

Dismissing the clones, Naruto began to work on the _variable_ part of the array. 'Let's see…squiggly line…squiggly line…whom…how about a triangle this time.' After working on it for several more minutes, he placed his brush down and smiled. "This time." He concentrated his chakra into the array…

BOOOM!

And was thrown into the tree again.

After, again, regaining consciousness, Naruto again went back to his work space. 'Squiggly line…squiggly line…circle here and…hexagon!' Naruto continued working for several more moments before placing his brush down. "Alright here were go!" He concentrated his chakra through it and the array began to glow.

The next part was _different_. Naruto wasn't sure if he had been blown backwards again and was dreaming or if it was something itself. To him, he felt like he was at a hall of mirrors. Though he couldn't actually _see_ the mirrors, he knew they were there…as odd as it sounded. In his head he reached out for the closet one…

And immediately found himself back in the real world. In front of him, something came to life. A tear appeared in the air in front of him and came apart like a portal. A small one, barely as big as his head. Looking through it, he saw another world, one that was gray in color. It was like he was watching the world through a small black and white television set. And then the tear closed.

Naruto frowned. Looking down to see that his scroll had burned away, he grabbed another from his equipment pouch and began writing through it again. He wanted a better look at what he had looked at. Maybe he had created a portal to a different part of the country. That would be useful…not quite as useful as instantly teleporting around at will, but still worth looking into. 'Squiggly line…squiggly line…circle…' At which point Naruto stopped. "What was next…was it a hexagon? NO! Octagon!" Naruto drew the last symbol. He then began concentrating chakra through the array, this time adding it A LOT more chakra.

BOOOOOOM!

After regaining consciousness, the blond growled out. "Fucking Octagon!"

He then went through the same procedure, the next time placing a _hexagon_ in the right spot. Again he concentrated A LOT of chakra into the seal. Soon enough, his mind was back in the hall of mirrors and he went to the same one he went to last time. Again, he was back in the real world and the tear opened up again. This time it was notably bigger than it was before…but still hard to see through. Again it closed.

Naruto growled out loud. He wondered if he should try adding even MORE chakra to the array, but thought against it. "I guess adding more chakra isn't enough…" Then Naruto grinned. "Adding _my_ chakra isn't enough."

After writing up another scroll, with a _hexagon_, Naruto stood up and began going through some breathing exercises. He then began grasping at whatever bits of chakra the Kyuubi allowed him to steal from it and poured it into the scroll. Mentally, he immediately reached for the same mirror.

The difference was night and day. The tear opened up again, but this time it looked big enough for Gamabunta to hop through. In it, he saw a town and people walking along, either ignoring or not seeing the portal. Off to the side, he saw a small food stand…with _him_ sitting in it. He was like a twin or something. He managed to notice _him_ because he was the only one who seemed to notice the portal.

Then the tear closed. It closed around the blond…leaving Naruto's twin behind.

The two stared at each other for several moments. Then Naruto smiled, "Holy shit, are you like my brother or something."

The doppelganger gave Naruto a creepy smile, before going through a chain of handseals, "**Mokuton: Jukai Kotan.**"

The ground exploded around Naruto, as roots and other plant life erupted out of the ground. Naruto felt something hit him on the back of the head, before everything went black.

* * *

"Uhhh…" Naruto woke up a few moments later, with a killer headache and a groggy mind. When he opened his eyes, he saw, through blurred eyes, the face of the other Naruto. "You! You attacked me!"

The other 'Naruto' was sitting off to the side, munching on a shiny red apple. He was dressed differently as well. While HE was dressed in an awesome orange outfit, with a hitai-ate wrapped around his forehead. The OTHER Naruto was dressed in a blue tanktop and blue pants, with a red jacket that reached halfway down his hips and a hitai-ate around his neck. The oddest part though, was that the other Naruto seemed to be wearing a plant as a bracelet; something that looked like a Christmas Wreath.

"Why the hell did you attack me?"

"You asked me if I was your brother." His twin began. "Just in case it was true, I wanted to make perfectly clear that I'm not fond of my family." When he finished his apple, Naruto's twin tossed it over his shoulder and walked towards the blond, "Though, for the record, you should really learn something about interrogation, _hime_. Normally, it's the guy who ISN'T tied up that gets to ask the questions."

Naruto looked down and found that his body, legs, arms and even his fingers were completely bound by plants. Naruto looked up to glare at the other blond. "What the hell are you doing? Why'd you tie me up?"

The twin crouched down and stared straight at Naruto. "Again…I'm the one asking question." The twin then poked Naruto in the nose. "So, what are you some kind of reinforced **Henge**?" He then flicked Naruto's nose.

"Would you cut it out. I'm not using a **Henge**, this is how I always look!"

The doppelganger opened his mouth to reply but immediately snapped it shut. For the first time since waking up, Naruto saw his strange…twin drop his smile. In fact, the doppelganger glared at the boy. "So what's your name?"

"I'm Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki."

The twin rolled his eyes, "There can only be one princess, one real one anyway, and I'm the one that's got the fuzzball."

"Fuzzball? What the hell is that supposed to me?"

"Don't worry about it hime-"

"Stop calling me hime!" Naruto snapped.

The doppelganger smiled again. "Fine, what would you prefer?"

"I'm Naruto, NA-RU-TO!"

"Actually, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. _You_ are a fake."

"Bullshit, you have to be some kind of weird shadow clone or something. I must have created you with my new jutsu!"

The doppelganger cocked an eyebrow. "Why don't you tell me about this jutsu?"

Naruto frowned. "I was working on a new jutsu based on one the Yondaime used."

The doppelganger sighed. "Alright, I'll bite what were you working on, the jackass's **Rasengan**?"

Naruto glared daggers at the imposter, "Hey, don't talk about the Yondaime that way, he was the greatest Hokage ever!"

The doppelganger snorted at that. "Yea…if you're going to pretend to be me, you might wanna get your facts straight princess. I think the guy is a giant ass…hell I'm pretty sure that everyone that knows me, knows that I feel that way."

"Yea, well everyone knows that the Yondaime is my personal hero!" Naruto barked back.

The other Naruto rolled his eyes, "Anyway, you were saying something about a jutsu of the Yondaime."

Naruto grinned, "Ero-Sennin called it the **Hiraishin**."

The doppelganger's eyes widened in clear shock. "F-the Yondaime's prized jutsu…and here I thought it couldn't be replicated."

"That's what Ero-Sennin said. The array that goes to it is keyed to the Yondaime. So I started changing it so that it would work for me instead!"

"So…you were given a powerful time and space technique…and you chose to screw with it, is that right?" Seeing the scowl on the other boy's face, the doppelganger thought he hit the nail on the head. "What level fuin-user are you?"

Naruto could only blink at his twin, "Level?"

"Fuck!" The doppelganger threw his arms up in the air. "Wow…just wow. You're stupid enough to actually screw around with a high level sealing array and you don't even know the first thing about fuinjutsu."

Naruto glared at the other blond. "Do you?"

"No…but I'm not the one screwing with high-level seals!" The doppelganger frowned down at Naruto. "Could I have really become this stupid?"

"What?"

"Let's say I believe you." The doppelganger looked around. While the blond was unconscious, the doppelganger had spent a good hour trying every trick he knew of to try to dispel the blonde's form, short of outright killing him. But the blonde's form held true. That wasn't the scariest part though, "It can't be…."

"What are you mumbling about?" The doppelganger reached down and placed his right hand on Naruto's stomach. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up!"

"HEY!" Naruto stopped when he felt a pulse of chakra flow through him.

After a moment the doppelganger stood up straight and groaned. "Unbelievable…yea yea I get it, I heard you the first ten times."

Again, Naruto could only stare in confusion. "What?"

The doppelganger stared down at Naruto. With a quick chain of handseals, the doppelganger quickly created a perfect clone of himself. The clone reached down, with his left arm, and the plants extended to wrap around Naruto.

"What are you doing?" The plants that had originally held Naruto in place receded and the clone managed to lift the blond up in the air, with the plants at his wrist. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sensing a town over in that direction." The doppelganger pointed off towards the east. "We're just going to walk over their and see what we find." The doppelganger began walking off, with the clone, which was 'carrying' Naruto, coming up shortly behind him.

"You STILL haven't told me who you are!"

The doppelganger looked at Naruto over his shoulder, "Again, it's the guy who isn't tied up who gets to ask questions." After a few moments of silence, the clone turned to Naruto and asked, "So, why the heck are you trying to learn the Yondaime's moves…power?"

Naruto grinned. "That's part of it. I figured if I'm going to be the greatest Hokage ever…I should learn from the greatest Hokage!"

And yet again, the doppelganger's smile dropped. He just sat there, staring at Naruto for a few moments before cracking another smile. "Wow…just…wow. You wanna be Hokage?"

"Yea, don't you?"

The doppelganger started laughing.

"Hey, what's so funny?"

"Oh nothing."

Naruto glared and pointed angrily at the other boy. "Seriously, what the hell is so funny!" Unfortunately, Naruto's current position took away any intimidation that his pose MAY have had.

"Nothing…nothing at all hime."

"STOP CALLING ME HIME!" Naruto barked back. "I bet I understand what happened, my jutsu created an evil twin!"

The doppelganger sighed. "It's not quite that simple, hime. I think you might have actually created a portal into another universe, _my_ universe, and dragged me over to yours." Again the doppelganger sighed. "Some smartass wrote about this in some book, I wish I had read more into it."

"What…" Naruto frowned and looked at the boy. "Wait…so you're like an evil twin from another universe?"

"Is that what you gathered from our conversation?"

Naruto glared at the other boy. "You don't wanna be Hokage?"

"I don't particularly like Konoha either, but that doesn't mean I'm evil."

Naruto stared at the other boy in clear shock. "WHAT! You're not loyal to Konoha!"

"Well, I think most of the people there can go fuck themselves…so yea, not loyal."

"You're an enemy of Konoha…YOU ARE EVIL!"

The doppelganger snickered. "Yea, sure I guess to someone as simple as you, I _must_ be evil."

It didn't take them too long to find the closet town, and soon enough the trio were on the outskirts of the village.

"Wave Country, Tazuna's Village." Though he recognized the village, the doppelganger immediately frowned. "I have no idea why I thought this would be a good idea…I really can't confirm my theory one way or another."

"HEY, are you listening to me!" Naruto glared at the boy.

"Don't get your panties in a knot hime."

"AH HAH!" Naruto managed to replace himself with a log, to get out of the clone's grasp. Naruto grabbed a net, that he _always_ had on him but never got a chance to ever use, from his equipment pouch and tossed it on his 'evil twin'. He then quickly threw a kunai at the Wood Clone, dispelling it.

The doppelganger could only stare at the boy in shock. "The fuck?"

"Hah, that will stop you from being evil-"

The doppelganger melted away into a pile of leaves, before rematerializing a few feet away.

"-Unless you do that." Naruto continued, looking towards where the other Naruto once was.

The twin turned away from Naruto and looked at towards the town. "I guess the fact that I'm here of all places _could_ be proof enough…though that could also be because of some kind of fancy teleporting jutsu. A moment later, the doppelganger hopped away, towards the town.

Calling out to him, Naruto followed closely behind. It wasn't bad enough that an obviously evil version of him was loose…but it was his fault that his evil twin was around to begin with! If anyone got hurt thanks to his evil clone, it would be completely his fault. He also didn't want to think about what might happen if word got around that _he_ was committing no doubt evil deeds, things could go wrong, very easily.

The twin stopped a ways into town and turned back towards Naruto.

"NOW I GOT YOU!"

"I _stopped_ walking-never mind; you're the Hero of Wave, here."

Naruto grinned at the comment and puffed out his chest. "Yea, that's right."

The doppelganger turned around and sighed. "Really don't have anything to base my assumptions on…"

That's when it happened. Some idiot had decided that it would be a good idea to stack a dozen boxes on top of each other. A child happened to walk by them at exactly the wrong moment, just when the stack tipped over. Naruto tensed and was about to rush over when a surprising sight entered his vision.

His 'evil twin' moved first.

He grabbed the little girl and pivoted to the left, pulling both the child and himself to safety. The twin looked down at the girl, who was think sinking her nails into his sides, and pulled her off of him.

Sensing someone to the side of him, the twin looked to see Naruto standing right next to him, grinning form ear to ear. The twin then turned back to the little girl and flicked her on the forehead, eliciting a yelp from her. Watching her rubbed her head with a pout, the twin said, "Idiot."

The twin then turned and leapt off, Naruto close on his tail. "I knew it! I knew you couldn't be evil!"

"No you didn't…kami just shut up!"

"So I don't have an evil twin. You are clearly every bit a hero as me."

"Bite me."

"You try to play it off to be cool, but obviously-"

The twin immediately turned around to glare at the blond. "What's the big deal, so I saved a little girl; I'm not heartless, hime!"

Naruto frowned. "But you said you hated Konoha!"

"And that hasn't changed one bit!" the twin snapped. He held out both hands and gestured with his right, "Little girl", he then gestured with his left, "Village filled with cutthroat mercenaries. These two things are NOT similar!" With that last thing said, the twin turned and stalked off.

Naruto stood there for several moments, trying to put everything he heard together in his head. "So if you aren't the evil twin…does that mean I am?" Naruto frowned, before waving off the idea. "Nah…" He then went to follow his twin.

Naruto ended up finding his evil…good…his ambiguous nature clone in the clearing where Team 7 had buried Zabuza and Haku. Much to his surprise, his twin appeared to be practically hyperventilating. He turned around and glared at the other blond. "Can you send me back?"

"Huh?"

"Can. You. Send. Me. Back!"

"Ummm…" Naruto thought that over for several moments. "Yea, probably."

The twin scowled at the blond. "You have no idea what you may have gotten us in to, do you?"

"Umm…evil twin?"

"Idiot!" the twin snapped. "Listen, some, time ago some smartass had a theory that there was like an infinite set of alternate universes."

"Ummm…"

The twin's eye twitched. "I only read one page of that book and I didn't even mean to pick it up, so I'll try to explain what I managed to piece together. In each of these universes, there are constants and variables."

"What?"

TWITCH. "Things that stay the same and things that are different. So in our case, the thing that stays the same: is the boy with a demon sealed in his stomach."

"Boy with a demon sealed in his-" Naruto's eyes widened.

The twin nodded. "That's right hime, I got the Kyuubi no Yoko sealed inside of me as well." The win waited for a moment, watching the emotions cross the blonds face. "The thing that changes: I can use Mokuton and you're an idiot!"

"HEY!"

"So what I want you to do, is send me back to the universe that I grew up in…not some totally fucked up universe where I'm in love with Sasuke or something." Both Narutos shuddered at the thought.

"Please tell me, something like that doesn't actually exist."

"Face it bro. If there really is an infinite set of alternate universes, there could be like 41,222 of them where a Sasuke and a Naruto are butt buddies."

Naruto paled…then gagged…then vomited.

The doppelganger nearly did the same, but managed to reign himself in. "I know…trust me I know. It sickens me to."

After he managed to gain control of himself, Naruto finally turned towards his doppelganger. "Okay, I think I understand you. Lemme try."

Naruto pulled out another scroll and began writing the correct array in the _variable_ spot. After he finished, he stood up and began pulling at the Kyuubi's chakra again and began concentrating it through the array. Mentally finding himself in the hall of mirrors, he reached out for it, but stopped himself. He couldn't quite explain it, but the mirror was…marked, in some way. He then reached for it. Back in the real world, Naruto watched as the tear opened up.

The doppelganger took a few steps towards the portal and hesitantly pushed his hand through. Feeling his hand go through the portal, the doppelganger immediately pulled it back, seemingly satisfied. He turned back towards Naruto.

"Are you sure it's mine."

Naruto looked at the tear for a moment before nodding. "Yea. You're connected to it. Not sure how to explain it."

The twin watched on for several moments, attempting to gather his thoughts. "Close it…"

That shocked Naruto. "Don't you wanna go back?"

The twin smirked at that point. "I did, but as long as you can send me back whenever, then I'm in no hurry. Besides…" the twin watched Naruto for several moments. "Things just became more interesting." A moment later the tear closed and the doppelganger turned towards Naruto, questioningly.

"It closes by itself."

He gestured towards the blond. "Come on, this place is depressing." With that, the twin hopped away.

Naruto nodded and closed the tear, before following the other blond.

* * *

The two stopped in a clearing about a mile north from Zabuza and Haku's graves. The twin turned and smirked at the blond. "Think you can find another gateway and drag another version of us through it?"

"Yea, probably."

The doppelganger grinned. "Try it out then. Let's see if you can find an evil version of us."

Naruto's eyes widened. "WHAT? I don't wanna find an evil me!"

"I was mostly kidding, hime. You pick a different gateway and see what you find. Doesn't need to be evil…just try to make him smarter than you are."

Naruto glared at the twin. "Maybe I'll find someone who is actually loyal to Konoha!"

"Infinite possibilities, I guess you gotta find at least ONE more version of us who is that stupid." The twin mocked.

Again, Naruto glared at the clone, before turning away. He went through the normal set of requirements for his technique before opening up a tear to another world. This time, it opened around an opened clearing, with four people in it. Like the first time though, only _one_ of the people noticed the grey portal. When the tear closed, it closed around the person, pulling them through. Unfortunately…neither of them was _quite _expecting what Naruto found.

Naruto and his doppelganger stood side by side, watching the new form intently, as _she_ watched them.

The girl in front of them was a redhead, with familiar blue eyes. Her skin was a lot paler than either of the Narutos' was. However, like the blondes, she had three whiskermarks on each side of her cheeks…

She was also wearing the robes of the Raikage.

The doppelganger turned to the other boy, who was still clearly trying to comprehend what he was seeing. "HAH, you pulled in another version of us and she isn't like Konoha either! How do you like that, princess?"

The girl glared at both boys and quickly created a purple **Rasengan **in either hand, before launching herself at them. The doppelganger immediately created his own **Rasengan** and blocked her attack, canceling both jutsus out. Naruto wasn't quite fast enough and ended up being launched backwards by the spiraling sphere of chakra.

"Woah, ease up…" Naruto's twin began.

Ignoring the boy in the red jacket, the girl put her hands in a handseal and began drawing upon her chakra. A moment later, she was covered in a flaming aura of purple chakra, before she lunged herself at Naruto's twin.

Naruto managed to make his way back to his feet in time to see the two trade a few blows before separating. The girl then raised her right hand and began gathering both chakra and water to it. His twin placed both hands in front of him and began gathering his own chakra.

Soon enough, both of their charkas began taking a shape that Naruto was familiar with.

The girl screamed, "**Suiton: RasenUzumaki (Spiraling Whirlpool)**!"

His twin screamed, "**Mokuton Hijutsu**: **Rasen Shikyo Shushi (Spiraling Death Seed)****!"**

Both Rasengans exploded, and things immediately went dark for Naruto.

* * *

Regaining consciousness for like the sixth time that day had Naruto a _bit_ irritated. "FUCK!" Looking up, he attempted to register what he was seeing.

The entire clearing was…destroyed. Craters covered it, roots and upturned trees were strewn around it, most of the area was covered in water. And the two guilty parties?

They were both sitting down watching him. Naruto jumped to his feet and backed away, pointing an accusing finger towards the girl. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"Naruko", his doppelganger offered, helpfully.

Naruto snapped his head in his direction, "Huh?"

"Her name is Naruko."

"Naruko?"

"Naruko."

Naruto blinked as he turned that over in his head. Before he could answer though, the girl, 'Naruko', decided to chime in, "And now I'm supposedly meeting with male copies of myself from alternate universes, both of whom are named, _Naruto_", the girl scoffed. "Somebody thought long and hard about that, didn't they?"

Naruto's twin smiled. "How do you know that they didn't think long and hard over your name?"

The girl shook her head, "Whatever. One of you has to change names though."

"Huh?" both Narutos questioned.

"I'm not calling both of you Naruto, that'll just get annoying."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

Naruto replied though, "Because, hime, if she calls out the name Naruto, we won't know which one of us she's talking about."

Naruto nodded, "Alright, I guess I can see your point."

"Glad you approve", Naruto smiled. "So think of a new name."

"What! Why me?" Naruto asked.

"Why not you?" Naruto replied.

"Because…" Naruto grinned, "Because I'm the one who brought you here."

Naruko smiled, "He's got a point. If we're going to hang out here, it's probably a better idea if _you_ change your name."

Naruto chuckled, "Exactly, now change your name."

Naruto sighed and rested his chin in his hands. "Fine…Just call me Moku, until I can think of something better."

Naruto nodded towards the newly nicknamed, Moku. "Alright."

"So…" Naruko began, with a bit of an edge to her voice. "I said I would listen to what was going on, so talk."

Naruto glared at the girl, "Yea and I wanna know how YOU are the Raikage!"

"Ladies first?" the girl asked, with a raised brow. "You're gonna need to drop that shit right now. You first." Naruko said, pointing at Naruto.

"Why do I have to go first?"

"Cause you're the jackass that brought us here", Moku replied, matter-of-factly.

Naruto frowned and sat down, "Fine. Where do I start…" It took him nearly an hour, but Naruto managed to summarize his life story to the two teens, right up until Jiraiya left him to go be 'Konoha's Greatest Spy Master'.

"Wow…you're an idiot!" Moku replied, with a grin on his face.

"HEY!"

"Well, my life wasn't too different from yours, though the leading man was a lot smarter than you are."

"YOU WANNA FIGHT!"

Ignoring the other blond, Moku continued, "I stole the Forbidden Scroll, like you did, and ended up learning how to use Mokuton-jutsu from it…not sure why you settled on another clone technique, if you always sucked with them. I made a deal with the old monkey that would let me become a hermit, kinda like Tsunade and Jiraiya, as long as I didn't interfere with Konoha and I came back if a war started. All I needed to do was make Chunin in the Exams...nailed that. I did the Wave Mission also, though I managed to save Haku."

Naruto: "You saved Haku?"

Naruko: "You actually saved him?"

Moku nodded towards Naruto, "Yea." He then turned towards Naruko, "Though Haku's a girl, not a guy."

Naruko frowned at that, "He said that he was a boy when I met him."

Naruto nodded, "Yea, same here."

Moku shrugged, "Yea, I hear that's not uncommon for kunoichi to do. But trust me, I've gotten a _really_ good look at her. She is _all_ girl."

Naruko nodded at the revelation. "Now that you mention it, I've heard that they sometimes do that."

"Anyway, I had to go with the old pervert to bring back Tsunade before I left. I was able to do that and ended up leaving a few days after we got back to the village."

"Wait, what about Sasuke?"

"Left around the same time, I hear."

Naruto's eyes practically bulged, "You didn't go to try and rescue him?"

Moku narrowed his eyes at the blond, "Why? He wanted to leave, I wanted to leave. Why would I go through the trouble of trying to bring him, when all he really wanted to do was the same thing I _did_."

"But…"

Seeing that the boy didn't have a counter argument, Moku continued, "Anyway, I ended up traveling for a bit, until _you_ pulled me over here and that's my story…the shortened version, at least.

Naruko nodded, taking in everything she had heard. "My story isn't too different from his", she pointed to Naruto. "Accept for the fact that I'm a girl, of course. I even used to look like you two, right down to the short spiky blond hair. Sometime after Tsunade became Hokage and I failed to bring Sasuke back to the village-" Naruto gave the girl a sympathetic smile. "-I found out that the Yondaime and his wife were still alive. They came back to the village…with their daughter."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Woah, the Yondaime had a daughter."

Naruko's eyes narrowed on Naruto. "Two in fact. You're looking at one of them." Again, if it were possible, Naruto's eyes widened further. "That's right Naruto, the Yondaime, Minato Namikaze is our father."

Naruto actually paled at that. Suddenly…A LOT started to make sense. "Woah."

"You don't have a sister?" Moku asked, staring at Naruto.

The boy could only shake his head, still trying to process everything. "Hmm, lucky you. She's a cunt." Naruko actually glared at the other blond, at the comment. "You don't' agree."

The girl sighed and nodded. "While I haven't interacted with her personally, I would agree that she is a bit of a brat." She sighed again, before taking off her hat and placing it on the ground in front of her. "Anyway, I ran away after that."

"I approve", Moku chimed in, earning a glare from Naruto.

"I managed to hide out with a clan of Kitsune. After learning their ways and-" She made a gesture at her body, "-growing up, I started traveling. I abandoned the Toad Contract and took up the Kitsune Clan as my familiars. Eventually I teamed up with another Jinchuuriki named Kirabi…he was a Kumo-nin. He offered me sanctuary and to keep hidden from Kumo. Eventually though, we were attacked by the biggest bad of the Akatsuki, a freak name Pein. He practically leveled the village, even beat up the Raikage pretty badly, but Bi and I managed to defeat him." Naruko smiled at that point. "I then became a celebrity in Kumo. I might as well have been the actress Yukie. I could also freely walk about Kumo. They wanted me to stay in their village, but they were happy in simply offering me with a place to stay for a while."

Moku nodded. "But you eventually accepted."

Naruko shook her head. "Not yet actually. She gestured towards the hat. Prior to getting hurt, the Raikage had called for a summit of the Five Great Villages. Since he was injured, he had Bi go as a temp Raikage. Though Bi had two bodyguards, the limit he was allowed to bring to the meeting, I decided to go with them as well. Halfway there, Bi thought it would be funny if I took over as temporary Raikage…" Naruko grinned. "My…_our_ father was going to be there as the acting Hokage."

Moku chuckled at that and Naruto, despite himself, did so as well. "What happened next?"

Naruko narrowed her eyes at the boy, "_You_ summoned me."

Naruto gave the girl a sheepish smile, "Oh…sorry."

"You should be. I was about to work out fifteen years of daddy issues in a single day and you screw it up."

"Yea and I was about to have lunch", Moku began, glaring at the other boy. "And not just any lunch. Lunch at this place that I spent like five minutes deciding on. You stopped me when I was just about to order, shame on you Naruto, shame on you!"

"Sorry!"

"Alright, alright, so what are we going to do now that everything is out in the open?" Naruko began. "Though I'm anxious to get back, Bi and the others must be worried about me, I still want to explore this infinite universes thing."

Both Naruto and Moku nodded. Naruto grinned. "Maybe I should call up a few more versions of us and we can all…train or something."

"A little simple minded, but it's actually not a bad idea", Moku replied. "We could do a whole lot better."

"We could actually help each other out", Naruko offered. "If we can figure out how to use the summoning technique", she said, gesturing to herself and Moku. "We call each other whenever we get into a pinch."

"And you guys can show me how to use those badass **Rasengans**!" Naruto replied, excitedly.

Moku frowned. "You mean adding nature-chakra to it?"

"That actually isn't too complicated", Naruko replied.

Naruto grinned and nearly bounced in his seat. "Can you show me then?"

Naruko immediately stood up and shook her head. "Not right now. Like I said, I'm anxious to get back. How about you summon me again in like…three days? That should be enough time to deal with what I'm doing."

Moku stood up as well. "Sounds fine and I can find somewhere to disappear where it won't cause a huge giant fuss…probably."

Naruto frowned and looked between the two, feeling an unexplained anxiety filling him. "Fine."

"Oh", Moku began, "Please don't go summoning other versions of us, without the two of us present. It'll be A LOT easier explaining things with three Kyuubi Jinchuuriki standing in front of the new guy…" he glanced at Naruko, "…or girl."

Naruto nodded, though he couldn't help the smile that formed on his features.

"You're not going to listen to my warning, are you?"

A moment later, Naruto opened a portal and sent each of the versions of him to back to their own worlds.

* * *

Moku appeared back in the food stand that Naruto originally pulled him back from, "Surprised that he wasn't in some clearing near Wave Country."

"So what'll it be kid?"

Moku blinked at the waiter, "Hey old man, did you see me disappear?"

"Huh…disappear. Are you on drugs boy?"

Moku frowned and shook his head. "He sent me back to the same time, he pulled me from." That warranted further study. Either time in Naruto's universe moved faster than his, much faster, or Naruto's time and space technique sent him back to the same time that he had left…or maybe his universe froze without him. "God I gotta stop thinking about this or my head is going to explode."

"Out!"

Moku looked at the owner of the stand, with a bit of shock. He hadn't received that kind of reaction since he left Konoha.

"No druggies in my stand kid, OUT!"

Smiling, Moku-Naruto walked away from the stand, giving the old man a rude gesture. Moku walked around the village for what seemed like thirty minutes…when it happened.

A familiar looking portal opened up in front of him. Moku frowned, "It's only been like half an hour…could time move by faster over there than it does over here?" He was vaguely aware that no one but him seemed to be aware of the giant portal. He could see Naruto, looking quite distressed on the other side of it. Not fighting, Moku allowed himself to be dragged through to Naruto…the _other_ Naruto's world.

-x-

The first question: "Has it been three days already."

Naruto shook his head as he prepared another scroll. "No, it's only been like half an hour."

'So maybe time stops…' Moku frowned. "Naruko's going to be pissed."

And she was. "IDIOT!" She screamed as she smacked the blond on the head. "Why did you summon me back so quickly, it hasn't been three days…has it?" The girl frowned, having obviously had some of the same thoughts as he did.

"Nope, half an hour", Moku replied.

She smacked Naruto on the head again.

Rubbing his head, the boy smiled apologetically. "I know, I know, it's just that…I screwed up."

Naruko cocked her head to the side. "What?"

Moku narrowed his eyes, "You summoned another one of us."

Naruto nodded, "And this one was evil."

Moku sighed, "You thought that _I_ was evil."

"No, this time I'm sure. I explained to him what was going on and he just gave me this twisted smile before chuckling and saying: _I see-kukukuku-then I know what I gotta do._ Then he disappeared out of my net."

"You trapped him in that damn net?" Moku asked.

"Well he did go _kukukuku_, I guess that's an evil person thing, right?" Naruko asked.

"Or he's pissed off that he got trapped in a fucking next."

"Forget about the net-" Naruto began.

"I really wish you would."

Continuing, "-we gotta go find this guy."

"Alright, alright don't get your panties in a knot hime, we'll find him." Moku turned away from the scene and looked around the clearing.

"How?"

"I have a good sense of smell and I learned how to use that to track people", Moku replied.

"Same here."

Naruto looked at his two companions. "Am I the only one here who never learned how to track someone."

"Apparently." With that last word Moku jumped off, with Naruko half a step behind him.

Naruto frowned at the revelation. "So I can't track people and I don't' have a cool Super **Rasengan**…what the fuck."

* * *

The three teens didn't know what they were expecting, but they followed the trail back to Tazuna's village. They half expected to find the _evil_ Naruto raising the village. That was clearly not the case though. The village seemed as peaceful as it normally did. They followed the trail to a nearby building, an inn, and walked inside…sneaking passed all the civilians. They followed the trail to the fourth floor of the inn and slowly opened the door.

A moment later, five women, in disheveled clothing, walked out. The three teens watched the women go, slightly confused. Walking through the doorway, the found the _evil_ Naruto laying down on the bed…naked.

Naruko turned away, "Why are you naked?"

"Why is there a goat in the corner?" Moku asked.

Naruto pointed a finger at him, "We're here to stop your evil plans!"

The naked Naruto blinked in confusion. "Evil…me? Hah, good one. Sure, ladies love bad boys, but trust me, I wouldn't be getting nearly as much action if I were an evil overlord."

"Wait so, you're _not_ evil?" Naruko asked, still not looking at him.

"Then why did you go _kukukuku_?" Naruto asked.

"Seriously, why is there a goat in the corner?" Moku asked.

"I went _kukukuku_, because I realized that I had the rare opportunity to bang all the chicks in your world as well."

Naruko blinked, _still_ not looking at the naked Naruto, "You wanna have sex with all the women in _this_ world?"

"What the F-" Naruto began.

"Seriously, will someone PLEASE tell me why there is a goat in the corner" Moku asked, getting more distressed by the moment.

"Baaaaaaah…"

The naked Naruto stared at Moku. "I work better with an audience, he didn't actually participate." He then turned towards the clothed Naruto, "And yes, yes I do. My world was getting boring."

"Alright" Naruko began, turning around, "Let's go somewhere better to finish off this conversation."

"Yea, we'll talk about how you can't just have sex with all the women in my world...that's weird!", Naruto replied angrily.

"And for the record, having the goat as an audience is only slightly less creepy than what I originally thought was going on." Moku chimed in.

The naked Naruto smiled, ignoring the other two in favor of staring at the clothed Naruto. "Of course I can. I'm a Pornomancer."

* * *

The four teenagers made their way to a clearing outside of Wave, before continuing there conversation.

Naruko turned to glare at the naked Naruto. "First things first, where are your clothes."

The boy shrugged, "Hell if I know, I didn't bring any."

"You didn't bring any clothes?" Moku turned to Naruto, "He didn't bring any clothes?" Naruto shook his head. "That didn't set off any warning bells in your head?"

Naruto shrugged, "I thought he had just gotten out of the shower or something, I didn't know he walked around like that!"

"And your first reaction, after seeing a naked version of you, was to trap him in a net?"

Naruto glared at Moku, "Would you forget about the next!"

"I wish I could!"

"First things, first!" Naruko interrupted. "You need clothes."

Naruto sighed. "I have another orange outfit."

"Hell no."

Naruto glared at the naked version of him. "Why not?"

"You know how much harder I would have to work for sex if I dressed like you. Not much, but it would still be annoying."

Naruto glared at the other boy. Naruko sighed and looked towards Moku. "You got anything?"

"I'm not sharing one of my jackets with him…"

"But-"

"Hell. No."

Naruko sighed and mentally went over her supply list. "The only thing I have that _might_ fit you is a frilly pink robe that Samui gave me", she said, pulling it out. The only reason that she thought it _might_ fit him was because it was costumed fit for Samui, who had a really huge set of…

"Sold!" the naked Naruto said, as he slipped the pink robe around his body. It barely managed to cover his important bits, but at least he was decent.

Moku sighed, "You're also going to need a nickname, while you're hanging out with us."

The Naruto in the frilly pink robe nodded. "Call me Hentai."

The three other teens stared wide-eye at the other boy. "Hentai?"

Hentai nodded, "Yep. Cause all the ladies love Hentai!"

Naruko massaged her temples, Naruto turned away, and Moku just stared at the boy. "Seriously, are you sure you want to say something like that."

"Why not, it's true. All the ladies love Hentai. I'll say it again: all the ladies love Hentai. I'll say it three more times: all the ladies love Hentai, all the ladies love Hentai, all the ladies love Hentai. Got it?"

"I feel like we're going to get in trouble for having this guy around", Moku nodded. Naruto nodded.

"No one gets in trouble with Hentai around", Hentai replied. "I'm super powerful…plus have you seen my penis?"

"Yes, unfortunately I have seen your penis", Moku replied.

"Good, because assuming that exactly half the population of the world is women, then this-", he pointed to his boy parts, "-solves fifty percent of all of our problems."

"Seriously, we're going to get in trouble for having this guy around", Moku repeated his earlier statement.

Naruko sighed.

"You say, you're super strong?" Naruto asked.

Hentai nodded with a smile on his face. "Yep. Aside from my penis, I got the slightly less awesome power of Ranton."

"Storm Release?"

Hentai nodded, "You wanna see?"

"Hell yea!"

Hentai grinned and walked over to the side, slipping the pink robe off his shoulders. Naruko groaned, "Why are you getting naked?"

Hentai didn't reply and instead went through a series of handseals. Gathering chakra through his body. "**Ranton: Reizā Sākasu**." Several beams of pure light erupted him Hentai's body, practically vaporizing several trees in it's path.

Off to the side, the other three just stared in shock. "Did he just fire a laser from his penis." Naruto asked.

"Yep", Naruko continued.

"Really wished I hadn't watched that", Moku sighed.

Hentai grinned. "I can also do this, **RASENGAN!**"

"Did he just concentrate a **Rasengan** on the tip of his penis", Naruto asked.

"Yep", Naruko continued.

"Really wished I hadn't watched that", Moku sighed.

* * *

Naruko smacked Naruto again. "Three days, don't summon anyone else until then. Call us back in THREE days."

Naruto nodded, rubbing his head. He then opened a portal to Naruko's world and sent her back. Before the portal closed, Naruto stuck his hand through a waved at the girl, "Bye Naruko."

The girl smiled and waved back at him as the tear closed.

Hentai walked towards Naruto and hugged the boy close. "Remember Naruto, trust in your penis, it will NEVER fail you."

Naruto sighed and nodded, "Please stop hugging me now."

A moment later, Naruto opened a portal and sent Hentai through. Again, Naruto stuck his hand through and waved at the boy, "Bye Hentai."

Hentai waved the boy off.

Moku walked over to Naruto and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Naruto…I frankly have no idea how you have stayed alive up until now."

Naruto glared at the other boy as he walked away. Opening a portal, Moku walked through. Naruto fought with himself for several moments. As the tear began to close, he finally decided to quickly stick his hand through and wave at Moku. "Bye Moku."

"Screw you!"

Naruto glared back at the boy and pulled his hand through…though not quite as quickly as he should have. The portal closed around the end of his pinky…and detached it from the rest of his hand.

Wide-eyed, Naruto stared at his mutilated pinky, as it began to bleed profusely. "AH FUCK!"

**-Naruto Infinite-**

* * *

**A/N: End of chapter one. I'll see when I can get around to posting the next chapter. I think i managed to find the one person in all of the multiverse that Naruto hasn't trained with on this whole website...himself. Booya!**

**Here are the four Naruto's I'm using so far, and a little bit of their charcter.**

**Naruto(1)**

**Name**: Naruto Uzumaki

**Title**: The Hero

**Affiliation**: Konohagakure

**Archetype**: None/Canon

**Abilities**: Dimension Crossing

**Rasengan**: None

**Notes**: This is essentially Canon Naruto, with the ability to cross dimensions and bring other people to his dimension.

**Naruto(2)**

**Name**: Moku

**Title**: The Snarker

**Affiliation**: Himself. His Friends

**Archetype**: Grey Naruto. Rare Bloodline (Mokuton). Snarky. Wanderer. Dislikes Konoha and the majority of its people, but isn't outright evil.

**Abilities**: Mokuton Jutsu

**Rasengan**: Mokuton Hijutsu: Rasen Shikyo Shushi (Spiraling Death Seed)

**Notes**: I basically used the same guy from my 'Naruto: Mokuzaimusha' story.

x

"I quit", Moku said, sitting down.

Naruto stared, wide-eyed at the boy in front of him. "You can't just quit, she needs our help."

Moku shrugged. "She's a bitch, no reason to help her."

Naruto smiled at the other blond. "I have faith in you Moku." With that, Naruto went off to save his client.

Moku sighed and went to lie back.

-five hours later-

Naruto walked back and glared at Moku. "I BELIEVED in you!"

Cracking an eye open, Moku grimaced at Naruto, "Wow, you look like you were on the ass end of an ass kicking."

x

**Naruto(3)**

**Name**: Naruko

**Title**: The Fox Priestess

**Affiliation**: Kumogakure?

**Archetype**: Female. Redhead. Kage of another village. Dislikes Konoha and the majority of its people, but isn't outright evil.

**Abilities**: Senjutsu (based around the Kyuubi's chakra). Water Style. Some Genjutsu

**Rasengan**:Water Release: RasenUzumaki (Spiraling Whirlpool)

**Notes**: Basically used the same character from another of my stories 'Her Life to Live'.

x

Naruto glared at Jiraiya, "Take this, **Sexy Jutsu**!"

Jiraiya gave the boy a thumbs up.

Watching the scene unfold, Naruko ripped off her outfit with one swift motion. Almost immediately, Jiraiya fainted. "That's right, _this_ is no sexy jutsu", she said, winking at the blond.

x

**Naruto(4)**

**Name**: Hentai (because all the ladies love Hentai).

**Title**: The Pornomancer

**Affiliation**: His Penis. Konohagakure…probably.

**Archetype**: Pimp Naruto

**Abilities**: Storm Release

**Rasengan**:**Ranton: **Rasenbakuha (Spiraling Blast)

**Notes**: You know this guy. You have probably seen him hundreds of times in different Adult Fanfics. He's the type that easily form Harems of lovely women…and takes full advantage of it.

x

Naruto and Hentai stood in Nadeshiko village, staring at the huge group of Kunoichi. Hentai smiled, walked forward and gestured to all the girls. "Ladies…since we are all here, and we are all clearly horny…how about we have a little fun?" Hentai began.

Much to Naruto's surprise, most of the women almost immediately began disrobing, "What the fuck."

"Which reminds me", Hentai said, looking back at Naruto. "No more dudes allowed." Turning back, he briefly turned back to Naruto. "You can watch in a corner if you want, but no joining in."

x

**A/N: I plan to bring in like three more…though I might play around with a few more Narutos for shorts and omakes.**


End file.

Naruto, Humor