Fushigi Yuugi 1. Prologue: The meeting

Disclaimer: The only things I own are Kourin (this Kourin, not Nuriko's sister) and my blind adoration of Yu Watase's works. She's one of my role models, at least writing-wise. I love her storytelling methods. To be able to make people feel the emotions that her works often inspire in people - it's wonderful. I want to be able to do that someday. Of course, I'm still only fifteen, so I have plenty of time to work on that skill. But, yeah, just felt like saying.  
  
AN: Hmm, that disclaimer kinda took the place of an AN, don't you think?  
  
Rokou sighed and leaned against the railing of the ship. A sea breeze whipped his long blue ponytail, tugging strands loose and tossing them over his face. Somehow, he didn't seem to notice. His eyes were distant, as if he was looking at something no one else could see. Slowly, silently, his lips formed a single word: "Ryuuen."  
  
"Be careful, or you could fall," a friendly voice reached his ears, snapping him out of his reverie. He turned around to see who the speaker was, and saw a girl of about fifteen with long indigo-purple hair that fell into her eyes (she was constantly brushing it away, to no avail) and red- violet eyes.  
  
"What?" he said, surprised that someone was talking to him.  
  
"I *said*, 'Be careful or you'll fall'" the girl repeated. "The railings get really slippery, especially when it's so misty. And the water's *really* cold, even at this time of year. Trust me, you don't want to fall in."  
  
He just nodded slightly and turned back around.  
  
She frowned. "Hey, that's not very friendly," she said. "What's your problem?"  
  
"Nothing. I just don't want to talk to anyone right now."  
  
"Mm-hmm." She crossed her arms and looked at him judgmentally. "So, Southerner, where are you headed?"  
  
"How could you tell I was from the south?"  
  
"Because of your accent! When you travel as much as I do you learn how to tell the difference. Anyway, where are you going?" Rokou told her destination, and her eyes sparked with interest. "Really? I'm going there too! Did you know there's a Suzaku seishi buried there?"  
  
"I know," Rokou replied. "He's my brother."  
  
The girl fell silent. She stared at him a moment through her long bangs. ".Oh." she finally said. She leaned back against the railing and sighed. "Wow.two travelers with the same destination.traveling separately. Seems such a waste." She glanced at Rokou out of the corner of her eye, then looked away again, then glanced at him again. When he didn't react, she sighed again. "You know, it's so dangerous for a woman to travel alone, especially when she's so young and beautiful." Once again, she glanced at him, looked away, and glanced at him.  
  
Rokou looked at her wryly. "Would you like to travel with me?"  
  
Her eyes lit up. "Yeah! That would be great! By the way, my name's Kourin. What's yours?"  
  
Rokou didn't reply at first, but just gazed at her in shock. "Kourin." he whispered. She did seem to bear a resemblance to his late siblings, but how was that possible?  
  
Kourin frowned at him. "Don't try to tell me that's your name too. It's a girl's name, not a guy's name. Come on, I told you my real name. Now you can at least tell me yours."  
  
"Oh, gomen. My name is Chou Rokou."  
  
~**~  
  
"Arrgh! This is driving me nuts!" Kourin yelled over the table in the inn. "We've been traveling together for two weeks and we haven't said a word. What's your problem, anyway? Don't you have anything to say?" she glared at Rokou.  
  
"Nope," he replied, calmly taking a bite. "Calm down and eat your food. It's good."  
  
She sighed and thumped down in the chair. "Of course you have something to talk about. Everyone does. Why don't you tell me about Nuriko? I mean, you're his brother, so you must have a lot to say about *him* at least."  
  
Rokou looked up sharply. "I *hate* how everyone only calls him Nuriko! No one seems to realize he has an identity beyond the Suzaku seishi! He was a person too, you know! He had a given name!"  
  
Kourin's eyes widened slightly at this unexpected outburst. "Calm down, Rokou! Fine, what was his given name?"  
  
"Ryuuen.Chou Ryuuen."  
  
"Okay. Tell me about Chou Ryuuen, then."  
  
"Right." 


	2. The discovery of the seishi

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Yuu Watase or Fushigi Yugi. Blah, I'm running off of a sugar high, I don't have the energy to come up with a crazy disclaimer. . . Although I am listening to Kaze no Uta as I write to this. Appropriate, ne?  
  
Funny Looking Animated Man (No way related to Altair Maine): Then have yourself a Red Bull!  
  
Lady Sage: Wha.???  
  
FLAM: Because Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiiiiiiings!!!! *drinks from a random can that came out of nowhere and sprouts wings*  
  
Lady Sage: Yeah, and causes cancer. Ounce for ounce, tea has more caffeine. *gets some tea*  
  
FLAM: Oh, poo. *wings fall off and he gets all depressed*  
  
Lady Sage: *rings bell* Nuriko!  
  
*Nuriko appears in a tuxedo*  
  
Lady Sage: ^_^ Ooooh, I like this. *points to FLAM* Get rid of that. (Sounds really snotty, ne? I'm nice.it's just those commercials annoy the everything out of me)  
  
*Nuriko throws him offstage*  
  
Lady Sage: Hmm, I've really digressed, ne? Well, onto the fic!  
  
  
  
(From Rokou's point of view)  
  
I was born into an affluent family around the western edge of the Konan Empire. Ryuuen was born when I was two years old, and one year later, our little sister Kourin was born. We were all very close, but Ryuuen and Kourin. . . they seemed to have something special. Something I could never be a part of. Something I was jealous of, sometimes. They seemed to be connected beyond just brother and sister.  
  
Life was hard for me sometimes. I was a complete and total wimp - I still am, really - and I was bullied a lot. I came home crying and covered in bruises at least once a week. But what hurt more than the kicks and punches was that I was being a bad big brother. I wanted Ryuuen to look up to me, to see me as a role model. But instead, he saw me as. . . I don't know what he saw me as, really. Not someone to look up to, definitely.  
  
When I was ten, a day that changed all of our lives happened. Something that none of us would have predicted. Something that shaped our destinies. . .  
  
~**~  
  
A fist slammed into his cheekbone. "Ow! You guys, what was that for?" I whined, rubbing the area, which was already swelling. The only reply was a swift kick in the stomach. "Oof!" I grunted, and curled up on the ground, covering my neck, groin, and belly to protect them from the blows which rained down on me. The bullies, mostly boys more or less me age, formed a circle around me and starting kicking at me relentlessly.  
  
"Onii-san?" I heard Ryuuen's voice. *Damn it,* I thought. *I don't want him to see me this way!* "Hey, leave him alone!"  
  
"Sure," I heard a sneering voice say. "I'm in the mood for some fresh meat!"  
  
*Please, leave him alone!* I screamed mentally. *Beat me up instead!* But something inside me blocked me from saying it. A part of me wanted the beating to end, no matter who else got hurt, and it dominated me. It also made me feel lower than the dust and dirt that covered me.  
  
I heard Kourin shriek, and Ryuuen yell, "Hey, that's not fair!" There were loud shouts, and the sound of punching. I winced, and curled even tighter into my little ball. Poor Ryuuen and Kourin. . . I longed to come to their aid, but I was terrified.  
  
Finally, the yells and punches ended. Slowly, I uncurled myself, ready to go get my parents to come and help my younger siblings. Instead, Ryuuen was standing in the middle of several unconscious - but hopefully alive - bodies, with Kourin off to the side, staring with big eyes and one bun pulled loose. Ryuuen stared at his hands in apparent shock, and started to run. "Ryuuen!" I called after him, but he didn't pay any attention.  
  
I approached my little sister. "What happened, Kourin?" I asked.  
  
I expected a babbling, terrified reply, but instead, her eyes shone with excitement. "Ryuuen-nii-san beat up all the bad bullies! He told them to leave you alone, but one pulled my hair instead - it really hurt, too! - and then he got *really* mad and there was a big flash of red light and he beat all of them up! He was sooooo strong that they all ran away!"  
  
I was a bit confused, to say the least. I knew Ryuuen was stronger than me; it was one of my greatest embarrassments in life. But no one was strong enough to beat up all those bullies, all of whom were stronger than him. It was impossible - but by Kourin's account, it had happened.  
  
When I got home, the doctor was seeing Ryuuen. According to my parents, he had collapsed as soon as he arrived, and they had, of course, called the town doctor over. After a tense half-hour, the doctor walked out.  
  
"Ryuuen. . . how is he?" my mother asked worriedly. She was always a worrier, right until the very end.  
  
"Ryuuen is perfectly healthy. In fact, I can do absolutely nothing for him, except recommend a brief period of bed rest. I believe you would be better off calling a priest."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" my father asked.  
  
"Well, when I was examining him, I discovered that Ryuuen had a glowing red kanji on his left collarbone. It read "willow": the mark of the Suzaku seishi, Nuriko."  
  
My mother fell back on the cushion. There was a loud thud when she missed and her tailbone hit the floor. Kourin, of course, started giggling.  
  
"What does this mean?" she whispered. "Does it mean we'll have to send our little Ryuuen away to the palace?" Tears started to form in her eyes. "I don't want to lose my baby boy!"  
  
"I honestly cannot say," he told us. "Only a priest, or an official, will be able to tell you."  
  
Mother started crying, and my dad was growing visibly angrier. Kourin decided it was a good time to leave and fled to her playroom. I thought she had the right idea, but I had a different destination in mind - Ryuuen's room.  
  
He was sitting up, awake and alert, and reading a book. "Nii-san!" he greeted me cheerfully. "Look what sensei (AN: Here, sensei means doctor) gave me! He said it was a reward for standing up to those bullies, and making it so their parents would have to call him and pay for his help." He laughed, but there was something strained in it.  
  
"Ryuuen," I whispered. "They're saying you're Nuriko."  
  
He stopped laughing suddenly and looked at me. "I know. Here, look," he showed me his left chest, and sure enough, there it was, glowing a bright, unmistakable red: the character for "willow".  
  
I was speechless. All I could say was, "Wow." Lame, I know. After a moment to collect my thoughts, I said, "Do you know what this means?"  
  
"It means that I'm really strong! And someday, I get to protect the Suzaku no Miko!"  
  
I was a little surprised by his answer, but then I started to laugh. "Yeah!" I said. "Someday!"  
  
~**~  
  
"What a heartwarming story," Kourin said. She grabbed Rokou's drink and took a swig.  
  
"Hey! That's mine!" Rokou protested. "Don't go acting all familiar just because I told you a bit of my past."  
  
"But all my drink's gone, and I don't have any money to buy more AND pay for the rest of the trip," she pouted. "Besides, we might as well be friendly as long as we're traveling together."  
  
"But it's alcoholic, and you're too young to drink." He was, of course, referring to the drink.  
  
"Humph! It's chilly out here and I need something to warm my bones."  
  
"Then put on warm clothing." He drained his cup. "Hey, I told you a story. Why don't you tell me one about you?"  
  
"About me?" Kourin shrugged. "Nothing much to say. I'm an illegitimate child born on the southern borders of Sailo. My mother was an astrologer. That's pretty much it."  
  
Rokou could tell she was hiding something. Her eyes, which often revealed everything she felt, had gone opaque and she had stopped bothering to brush her hair out of her eyes when she said that. But he wasn't one to press for information.  
  
She suddenly stood. "I think I'll go to bed now. Goodnight." As she went to leave, she started to cough. Hard.  
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Rokou asked. She didn't reply, only doubled over and began to cough harder. When she was done, she stood with her back to him and wiped something away from her mouth. She turned around and smiled. "I'm fine!" she assured him. "The cold air is just irritating my windpipe. No big deal. See you in the morning." And she left. But as she walked away, Rokou swore he saw something bright red and wet on the back of her hand. *Blood?* he wondered. He shook his head. Kourin was certainly mystery to be figured out. But his bed was calling to him; she would have to wait until morning. He paid the bill, and left up the stairs. 


	3. The death of Ryuuen and the rebirth of K...

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, don't own it, probably never will, you happy now?  
  
Author's Notes: Hey all! I've been getting into a new anime series. Well, the series itself isn't that new. It's just new for me. It's called "Gravitation". I'm *totally* smitten with Shuichi Shindou. So what if he's gay? ^.^ Anyway, I'm working really hard on this fic. I'm so sorry for not updating my others, but I'm subject to the whims of my muse! *sigh. . . * Something I should really get over if I want to write professionally someday. But oh well! I'm working hard to bring this to you! I wasn't quite sure if I was writing Rokou okay because I've only seen ONE episode with him (is he even in any other episodes?) ONCE. But I guess he left a strong impression, because everyone seems to like how I'm writing him!  
  
Anyway, some notes on the origin of this fic. I started out thinking how difficult it must have been for Rokou to watch Nuriko grow up with all his *cough, cough* issues, then I decided to write it for a fic! Hooray! Anyway, I decided on a frame story, or a reason for Rokou to be reminiscing: he was traveling to Nuriko's grave. Then I decided I must have a companion for him, to tell the story to. Originally, it was going to be a middle-aged man, but then I decided. . .nah, not gonna say. That would spoil the whole thing! The point is, it became Rokou telling stories to Kourin about events in Ryuuen's life. And thus, this fic was born. . . Oh, and just for reference, Rokou is in his early thirties and Kourin is about fifteen.  
  
  
  
Rokou awoke the next morning to a god-awful hangover. In the next room, he could hear Kourin laughing over something. He didn't know what - nor did care. He just wanted her to shut up so the sound would stop thundering in his skull. But his irritation quickly turned to concern as her laughter turned into a hacking cough. He didn't try to go in there; in his thirty- odd years, he learned girls generally didn't like men barging into their rooms, especially when they didn't know the man barging in too well. So he just placed a pillow over his head, waiting for the coughs - and the headache - to subside. When she finally quieted down, Rokou set about getting dressed. The headache was still there, but he figured it would be for a while. Hangovers tended to be like that.  
  
Then he heard Kourin give a bloodcurdling shriek. He stopped, waging an inner battle. He wanted to go help her, but he was scared. What could make her scream like that? From his experience, Kourin was tough. There was little that could scare her. When there were several loud thumps, he firmed his resolve. He would go in there and save her. He ran out of his room and burst into hers.  
  
He facefaulted. Kourin had a mirror on the windowsill and she was calmly staring into it as she brushed her hair. "Rokou? What's the matter?"  
  
"But. . .you. . . you screamed!" he stammered.  
  
She looked at him. "There was a spider on my hairbrush," she said calmly. "It startled me when it crawled on my hand."  
  
Rokou reddened, humiliated. "Did you have to scream like that?" he asked tartly.  
  
"Hey, it startled me!" she retorted. "Sorry for being so jumpy!"  
  
"Whatever," Rokou said, feeling altogether hostile. "I have a headache. I'm going back to my room." He turned and started out the door.  
  
"Wait a second!" Kourin called. He looked at her, and saw that she was giving him the most intense gaze he had ever seen on her face.  
  
"What is it?" he asked suspiciously. He didn't like the look she was giving him. Women had given him similar looks before, and while he liked the outcome, he didn't want anything of the sort with *this* one. She wasn't even fully an adult, and he didn't have a Lolita Complex!  
  
"Your. . .hair," she said.  
  
He facefaulted. "My hair? What about it?" It was falling long and loose over his shoulders, since he hadn't tied it back yet. He touched it self- consciously.  
  
"It's so beautiful!" she squealed. She pushed him down into a chair, and ran behind him, running her fingers through it. "It's so long and soft and wavy and thick! Oh, let me play with it!"  
  
"I have a headache," muttered Rokou.  
  
"Having your hair brushed can be very soothing," Kourin informed him. "I know all these pressure points that can make you feel better and. . . and. . .please!" Rokou turned around and looked at her. She gave him a pleading look, almost identical to the one his little sister used to give when she wanted something.  
  
"Fine, fine," he muttered. He relaxed in the chair, and Kourin began to tug her brush through it. He had to admit, it was a bit soothing. . .  
  
"Tell me another story about Nur- I mean, Ryuuen. Something else *important* in his life. I hear he had some. . .quirks."  
  
"You mean he was strange," Rokou said. When she flinched, he just shook his head slightly, so as not to jostle his brains (he still had that headache) or yank the hairbrush out of her hands. "It's okay. I loved him, but he was a cross-dresser. But he had his reasons! Very sad, hurtful circumstances."  
  
"Mmm. . ." she replied. "Tell me about those circumstances, then. . ."  
  
~**~  
  
It was a cloudy, grey winter day when it happened. I was at home doing something. I don't even remember what. But that wasn't important. Ryuuen and Kourin were supposed to go somewhere - I don't remember where, either - but Kourin was taking a long time to leave, and Ryuuen was getting to be impatient. Finally, he left without her. When she was finally ready, she ran after him, trying to catch up.  
  
That's when . . .*it* happened. There was a loud crash from the road outside. My mother and I rushed to see what had happened, and the sight that greeted us was awful. Kourin was lying in the street, dead, and Ryuuen stared, horrorstruck. Time seemed to stand still. Everything and everyone was seemed silent as my world centered to that one small spot in the middle of the road.  
  
Ryuuen approached Kourin's still figure. "Kourin," he said, kneeling. "Get up. I'm sorry I didn't wait. Now stop it." She didn't respond. "Kourin, come *on*," he said, shaking her slightly. "I apologized. We can make it there on time if you stop playing around." She still didn't move. "Kourin!" he shouted, shaking her more violently. "Get up! Now! Stop playing this stupid game! It's not funny anymore! KOURIN!" he screamed, and broke down into tears, sobbing her name over and over, as the whole world walked past.  
  
I looked up my mom in horror and confusion, unable to move or do anything. She was looking at the two, her eyes holding an unfathomable sadness. "'Kaa-san." I started, but she did not respond. Slowly, she walked forward, and gently placed her hand on his head. He looked up at her tearfully, then turned and began to sob into her skirts. Gently, she lifted him up, holding him as if he were only a small child.  
  
"Rokou," she said softly, "go home and tell your father. He will alert the undertaker." I only stood there, unable to respond from the shock. "Rokou," she said again, her voice firm bordering on sharp that time.  
  
I turned around and walked home, feeling like I had a boulder tied to my feet for each step.  
  
~**~  
  
Ryuuen retreated to Kourin's room once he was home, and didn't leave it again for two weeks - not even for the funeral. We all worried about him terribly, of course. My mother was scared that she would lose another one of her beloved children. In fact, we all shared her fear; none of us wanted to lose him as well.  
  
It was an unseasonably warm day when he finally came out. I remember, because I was playing with my friends, refusing to let such an unusually nice day go to waste. When all my friends stopped and stared, I knew something was up. So, I turned around to see what they were looking at. Then I promptly passed out.  
  
I came to within a minute, thankfully. "Hey, Rokou, what's wrong?" one of my friends asked.  
  
"I thought I saw Kourin. . ." I said.  
  
"Yeah, so?" he replied.  
  
I stared at him, confused by his response. Then I turned around, and stared hard at my younger "sister". Then I realized. . .*Ryuuen*. I ran over to him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" I hissed.  
  
"What are you talking about, Rokou-nii-chan?" he asked *in her voice*, his eyes widely innocent. "I'm just watching you play with your friends."  
  
I stared hard at him. He was wearing one of Kourin's dresses, had his hair in two buns like a girl rather in the single bun that he normally wore, and was even wearing the lip gloss mother had given Kourin to satisfy her demands for makeup like "a real woman wears".  
  
Ryuuen was anything *but* a real woman.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about, Ryuuen! Why are you doing this?"  
  
"I'm not Ryuuen. I'm Kourin. Ryuuen died two weeks ago when he was hit by a wagon."  
  
I grabbed his arm and dragged him inside the house, where my father was reading financial records for his shop and mother was writing a letter. "Kaa-san! Tou-san! Make Ryuuen take off Kourin's dress."  
  
"Make Rokou stop it," he whined, squirming in my grip. "He's hurting me."  
  
Tou-san barely looked up. "Rokou, let go of your sister."  
  
I was so shocked I couldn't do anything but what I was told. "'Sister'?" I repeated. "But, Tou-san, this is Ryuuen! It was Kourin that died." I could already feel tears on confusion welling up.  
  
"Kourin, you're excused," he said, motioning for my younger. . .sibling to leave. He promptly ran up the stairs to Kourin's room. "Now, Rokou," he turned to me, "let me get this straight. It was your brother who was killed that day, not your sister."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Tears of desperation and frustration rolled down my cheeks. "Kourin's dead. Ryuuen's running around playing dress-up in her skirts. What's going on here?"  
  
My mother got up at that remark. "Poor boy," she said, embracing me. "He must be confused from the grief. Shhh, it'll be okay. I know it's hard, but soon it will be just the same, only with four instead of five."  
  
I pulled away. "What are you talking about? You're the one who's confused. Kourin is the one who died. Not Ryuuen." Before they could respond, I stormed up the stairs into Kourin's room, where Ryuuen - *Ryuuen*, *not* Kourin - was playing with Kourin's dolls.  
  
"Why?" I asked desperately, the word coming out as a sob. "Why are you doing this? Why can't you just let Kourin die?"  
  
He glared at me sullenly, almost pouting, for a second before looking away. "Because I love her. She didn't deserve to die. It wasn't her fault. It was *my* fault. *I'm* the one who should be dead. So I am. And Kourin is the one who will live."  
  
"Suzaku," I mumbled, burying my face in my hands. Then something dawned on me. "You're still a Suzaku seishi! You're still Nuriko!" I practically yelled. I tugged at the collar of his dress, revealing the red character on his collarbone. "Do you think Suzaku's going to want a cross-dresser for one of his warriors? At the summoning ceremony he'll probably just laugh in your face and refuse to grant the miko's wish!"  
  
"Suzaku is the one who chose me. As a god, he should have been able to tell this was going to happen. It's his own fault." He sounded sullen again.  
  
"You're not going to give this up, are you?" He shook his head. I sighed and looked around before saying. "Fine. Even though Kaa-san and Tou-san have accepted it, I won't. You are Ryuuen. You are my otouto. And I won't let you forget it." When I finished my speech, I realized I was still crying. I hastily wiped my tears away.  
  
"Nii-chan, you're too stubborn," he said, and leaped into a flying glomp. We both went flying into the wall.  
  
"Like I said, you're still Nuriko," I said, wincing painfully and rubbing the back of my head. "Try not to forget *that* much."  
  
"Oops, sorry," he laughed.  
  
~**~  
  
"How cute. Brotherly love. Or brother-sister love. No, that sounds wrong, doesn't it?" Kourin laughed, sitting on the bed. She had finished brushing Rokou's hair about an hour ago.  
  
"Yeah. . ." Rokou replied. He supposed it could be funny, but he was too caught up in the memory to really see it that way.  
  
Kourin sobered immediately. "Sorry. The rest is really sad. Really." She wiped at her eyes. "I got a little teary-eyed actually. So that's the legend of the infamous Kourin."  
  
"I haven't told that to anyone before," Rokou said softly.  
  
"Why not? It's really important, and you're a great storyteller."  
  
"No one ever asked."  
  
She stood up and lightly smacked him. "Don't go all silent and sulky on me again. It almost seemed like you were an actual companion for a bit, there!" She began to cough. And cough and cough and cough.  
  
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, suddenly alarmed. He grabbed her arm, and his eyes widened at how thin and frail it was.  
  
She stopped coughing and pushed him away. "Let *go* off me!" she snapped. Rokou backed off, hurt. "Oh, jeez, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to yell."  
  
"You have blood on your lips," he said. She wiped it away hurriedly. "You're not well," he continued.  
  
"You're right. I'm not," she replied softly. "I'm dying. . ."  
  
There was a stunned silence. Then Rokou, his temper flaring up, said, "Then why the hell are you pushing yourself like this? You won't get any better this way! You should-"  
  
"I won't get any better at all," she snapped. "I'm going to die. I just need to do this one thing before I go."  
  
"What, then?"  
  
"I can't tell you. But it's important. I need you to help me make the journey, not just happen to be going the same way, because I won't survive it alone. *Please*, it's important."  
  
There was a note of desperation in her voice that Rokou couldn't help but notice. Moved to sympathize, he said, "Fine."  
  
"Thank you," she said sincerely. "Thank you *so* much."  
  
End notes: Sorry it took me sooooooooooo long to update. My little brother deleted virtually ALL my files, including my stories. Then I had to study for finals. Then I had Christmas. But I'm finally on winter break, so fear not! I shall update more often, because I know exactly where I want to go with this and I have every intention of getting there! So, R/R and thanks for reading! 


	4. Thank you

Disclaimer: I only own Kourin, as in the currently living (but dying) one, not Rokou's younger siblings.  
  
Author's notes: Oh, God . . . I got Fushigi Yuugi vol. 7. . .we're almost to . . .*that* part. The equivalent of episode 33. Oh God, I don't want book eight to come out. I mean, I know it happened, I know it's inevitable. . .but for some reason, I feel like if I don't read it, Nuriko won't die, none of them will die. That they'll summon Suzaku and all live happily ever after. Nuriko will have time to get used to his newly rediscovered masculinity, Hotohori will get to raise his son, Mitsukake will become a successful doctor, Chiriko will grow up to be a great scholar. I know they'll die anyway. I need to keep reading, for them, for the characters that live But, and for myself.  
  
Jeez, I feel so silly, getting so worked up over characters that don't even exist. But I guess that's part of the magic of Yuu Watase.  
  
~**~  
  
"Why must you go to Hokkan?" Rokou asked after a long silence. "What's over there that you need so badly?"  
  
"A few months ago, a plague hit our village. Badly, and suddenly. It was like one day, everyone was fine, happy and healthy, and the next, everyone was dying. Within three weeks, it was practically a ghost town. There were maybe five people left, and they were all like me - slowly dying of something else.  
  
"My entire family died in those weeks. My mother, my siblings, my aunts and uncles and cousins - everyone. Well, except for my father and an uncle - my father is in Hokkan, and my uncle is living comfortably somewhere in Konan, where they're both from. I don't think either of them realizes I exist.  
  
"I always wanted to meet my father. My mother is an astrologer, so she always read my father's stars and told me how he was doing. She said he was a very good man. Now I want to find him for myself.  
  
"What about you? Why are you traveling to Hokkan?"  
  
"It's almost Ryuuen's twenty-ninth birthday. Ten years. . ." Rokou wiped away tears. "Ten years since I learned about his death."  
  
Kourin looked at a loss for words. "I. . .I'm so sorry. . ."  
  
"I miss him so much," he said tearfully. "His ghost came to visit me two years after he died, but since then. . . I just want to see him again, to be with him, to hug him! But I can't. He's dead now. . ." Then she did something he never expected: she hugged him. "What?" he gasped.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said hoarsely. "I know I'm not Ryuuen, but still. . .you need someone, I need someone. So why don't we just have each other?" Rokou didn't respond. He didn't need to. For hours, they just sat there and held each other, crying.  
  
~**~  
  
In the next few weeks, they traveled steadily to Mt. Black, where Nuriko lay peacefully. They acted as if that night never happened, never speaking of the words they exchanged or the events that had transpired. Everything was the same, with one exception - they now regarded each other as friends. Instead of traveling stone silent as they had been previously, they chatted and laughed.  
  
Unfortunately, Kourin's health steadily deteriorated. Several times they had to stop because she couldn't continue. At those times, Rokou was scared - scared that she wouldn't be able to make it to her father in time, and that he would lose another person he cared about before he was ready.  
  
~**~  
  
Rokou was happier than he had been in a while. Mt. Black was less than a day's ride from the inn they were at, and Kourin seemed considerably healthier than she had as of late. He was telling her this animatedly as she stared tiredly into her cup.  
  
"Rokou. . ." she said softly, interrupting his chatter.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I think tomorrow. . .we should split up. Go our separate ways." She looked at him. "I need to find my father, and you need to get to your brother's grave. We would just drag each other down."  
  
Rokou thought silently for a moment. "You're right," he said finally. "We can have breakfast together, then we'll leave separately." Quietly, he got up and went toward his room.  
  
"Where are you going?" she called after him.  
  
"I'm going to bed. Suddenly I don't feel like talking."  
  
Once in his room, Rokou got into his bed, but was completely unable to fall asleep.  
  
~**~  
  
The next morning, Kourin was already waiting for him in the dining room. "Good morning," she said softly, and nodded to the plate across the table. "I ordered this for you."  
  
"Don't you need something for yourself?" he asked her.  
  
"No," she replied. "I'm not feeling too well. I don't know if I could keep it down."  
  
Rokou nodded in understanding. He ate silently as she sipped water. He hadn't felt this distant from Kourin since they had first started traveling together. He didn't like it.  
  
"Are you finished?"  
  
"Yeah. . ."  
  
"Then let's go."  
  
They walked to the stables and saddled their horses, as they had every morning, minus the chatter there had been previously. Kourin mounted. . .and fell off. "Kourin!" Rokou cried. She didn't get up. Rokou ran over to her.  
  
She cursed softly under her breath. "Shit," she said, breathing heavily. "I can't get there if I can ride." She coughed blood onto the hay-strewn floor.  
  
Rokou paused, feeling the fear well up inside him again. *No,* he thought. *There's nothing to be frightened of. I have to help her!* Carefully, he lifted her up and placed her on his horse, then mounted behind her.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked wearily.  
  
"I'm taking you to see your father," he replied.  
  
"No. No, take me to Ryuuen," she said, and shuddered.  
  
"But you. . ."  
  
"Just do it!" she yelled hoarsely. She twisted around and glared so fiercely Rokou could only swallow and do as he was told.  
  
And he did as he was told. He rode as fast as he could without knocking the girl off. He could feel her muscles spasm and her grunts of pain, and it was almost more than he could stand. Several times he was tempted to stop, to throw her off so he wouldn't have to see her, hear her, *feel* her go through this. But he couldn't do that to her.  
  
Finally, they arrived. She rolled off the horse onto her hands and knees, vomiting blood into the snow. With a huge effort, she raised her head and looked at the grave marker.  
  
"Father. . ." she whispered. She began to crawl towards it. Her legs gave out, but she continued to pull herself along. "Father," she cried. "I'm here. I found you." She began to sob. "I'm home." And she collapsed, unable to lift herself at all.  
  
Rokou, who had been staring in shock, found himself and ran over to his niece. Gently, he lifted her. "Kourin," he said, tears glistening in his eyes.  
  
"Rokou. . ." she choked, smiling slightly. "Uncle Rokou. . .thank you. I couldn't have made it without you." She coughed again, the blood gurgling in her chest. And she died.  
  
End notes: That's it. Kourin is gone. As 11:09 PM PST, February 6, 2003, the character of Kourin has died. And it makes me sad, it truly does. Part of the reason it took me so long to write this chapter (other than my bad habits) is because I simply didn't want to do it.  
  
Many of you are probably wondering how Nuriko has a daughter. Well, it's simple: wait until I write the next chapter and you'll find out. Yes, I am that cruel to my readers. 


End file.

Fushigi Yuugi, Drama