Naruto 1. Uzumaki Naruto

**I've been away** **for what…a couple of months? Well, I got bored with two of my most recent stories and suddenly got the idea of randomness and Naruto. So, I'm working with it, therefore I don't own Naruto. Just my random plots!

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**HOW TO ANNOY UZUMAKI NARUTO!**

Tell him that Sakura will NEVER love him. That's obvious enough, but does Naruto really know that?

In his sleep, dye his hair black, remove all his orange clothing and replace it with nothing but black! Next day as he walks by, scream, "Look!!! Naruto's gone emo!" Run for dear life after that!

Convince Naruto that Sasuke's gay for him, true or not. Watch the results when Sasuke so much as walks by Naruto.

Tap Naruto on the shoulder repeatedly. When he asks why you're doing it, simply answer, "I wanna see the Kyuubi and he comes out when you're mad so…" If it doesn't work…keep at it until it does.

When Naruto walks by, out of no where, scream and glomp him. Say the following sentence:

"Omg, I love you!!!!!! You're so hot- wait, you're not Sasuke…"

Steal Kakashi's porn (I suggest you be VERY inconspicuous when you do it), get it into Naruto's possession and when he picks it up…from a safe distance, yell, "EW! Naruto, you perv!"

Follow Naruto everywhere he goes, know his regular route. When he turns to ask why you're following him, say "I'm not following you." Then, follow his regular path back, with him behind you. Suddenly turn and scream really loud, "Why you following me, you stalker!"

Tell Naruto orange is a gay color. Not a safe thing to do, but it sure is fun!

When Naruto is in a pissy mood, hand him a tampon. If he asks why, say as dumbly as possible, "You might need it. I mean, it is you time of the month, right?" Next…RUN!

Go up to Naruto and say, "You'd be hotter if you were emo. Look at Sasuke after all!" When he comes out newly emo-ed, laugh right at him for how dumb he looks.

Call him Sasuke's bitch over and over again. When he turns bright red after the second or third time you called him that, laugh and say, "I knew it! You're totally his bitch!"

All of Konoha…Sakura especially…frilly dress…Naruto…and digital camera. Use your imagination on this one.

Tell Naruto Orochimaru's looking for a 'playmate' and ask if he's interested. Don't tell him what Orochimaru wants to play. (A/N: this is easily the cruelest of them all so I don't suggest this…unless you want to.)

Take a picture of Naruto cutting his hair and claim he's the next Britney Spears.

Talk Naruto into believing Sakura will like him if he does whatever you ask of him. Make him do ridiculous things all day, only to say at the end of the day, "God, you looked so dumb doing all those things…Sakura would never date you now." Then run off to show Sakura the pictures (don't forget them) of Naruto doing said ridiculous things.

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**Well, that's 15. I would do more if I had a little more of an imagination to work with. These are somewhat cruel but funny once you think of it. Review nicely please and say if you want anyone in particular. Sasuke's next! **


	2. Uchiha Sasuke

**Well, we're up to Sasuke! Since these things don't take much thought, I might update everyday. Anyway, I don't own Naruto.

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**15 WAYS TO ANNOY UCHIHA SASUKE!**

-When Sasuke's being chased by his fangirls, tell him you know of a safe place. Lead him there and make sure it's dark and let him in. Make sure you close the door behind him. Flick on the light and let Sasuke die due to the mass of fangirls.

-Now, this is one of the most played out tricks but it's funny every time. Go up to Sasuke and say, "You know your name is SasGAY, right?" After that, run damn you, RUN!

-Go up to Sasuke one day, take a whiff of him, and make a disgusted face while saying, "Ew, you reek of emo!"

-Simply mention Itachi's name in Sasuke's presence and record Sasuke flipping out over it. Then…show it to all of Konoha, be sure to send Itachi a copy so he can laugh his ass off at his foolish little brother.

-Follow Sasuke all day, continuously asking Sasuke why he's gay. When he gets pissed and screams 'just because!' with everyone around listening, might I add, smile and say, "Congratulations, you just came out of the closet in front of everyone!"

-Sing 'If You were Gay' in circles all around Sasuke. Especially the part that goes, "SO WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS? " really loud!

-Stare directly at Sasuke for a few minutes. When (if) he asks why you're looking at him, frown and say, "I don't know why girls go crazy over you. Your 2nd phase curse mark is way hotter than the normal you."

-Offer to do Sasuke's make up (Admit it; you know he wears make up! Convincing him to do it though would be extremely hard). Make sure his eyes are closed and do his make up, girly like. Be sure to brush his hair down and he's away from any mirrors. When he opens his eyes, instantly take his picture and sell it over Ebay.

-Bound and gag Sasuke and force him to listen to bubblegum pop, an emo's major enemy!

-Sneak a tampon in Sasuke's pocket. When he holds it out, yell to everyone, "See? What'd I tell you?! Sasuke's really turning into a girl! I mean, with how emotional he is, it was only a matter of time!"

-Take Naruto to Ichiraku Ramen and tell him he can have as much as he wants. Then just as Sasuke's walking past, walk out and tell Sasuke to join you and Naruto, but don't go back so that Sasuke's the one that pays for all the ramen.

-Pay Sakura and Ino to stalk Sasuke, more than they normally do that is, and watch Sasuke's horrified reaction.

-While Sasuke's bathing, make him think he's hearing things in his head and convince him that Itachi's waiting in the middle of a bustling street in Konoha for him to attack. Be sure to steal ALL his towels and clothing first. Watch Sasuke show his goods to most of Konoha and record for future reference.

-Catch Sasuke snarling as some emo guy near him puts on eyeliner. When he comments on how eyeliner is for gay losers (no offense if I offend anyone), cross you arms and say, "You don't have much room to talk! You wear enough for both men and women!"

-Buy Sasuke Icha Icha: Yaoi Edition. Enough said…

-Jump around singing about how Sasuke is always 'uke.'

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**That was actually 16 but I said 15 or more so yeah! Anyway, I love the reviews I got. With that, I say thank you those who read and those who reviewed. Sakura or Ino might be next, can't decide. Please enjoy and review!  
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	3. Haruno Sakura

**Lol, I jus read my reviews and love them! But, please know that I am PARITALLY held responsible for any injuries brought to you, but not completely. Lol, jk jk. I figured out that I'm going to go in order by teams as far as the Konoha 12 and Team Guy goes, then Akatsuki and so on. I don't own Naruto!

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**HOW TO ANNOY HARUNO SAKURA! (I love this!)**

-Draw a bull's eye on Sakura's massive forehead (while she's blindfolded of course) and simply tell her not to move…you can guess what comes next.

-Replay the episode where Sakura TRIES to fight Zaku and pause where she's getting off the ground, with the terribly cut hair and blood dripping down her face, etc. Look at her then and look at her now and say sadly, "I think that (point to screen) was an improvement."

-Constantly remind Sakura of the fight between her and Ino and tell her that that fight wasn't a fight, but more like a bitch fight.

-Trick Sakura into thinking that she was getting her hair done and it was a surprise. Then, chop what's left of her hair into a bowl cut like Lee's. Watch her reaction then run.

-Call Sakura a good for nothing, weak ass bitch. When she chases you, and this is certain, trip her. When she gets up snarling with dirt all over her face, take a picture of it and race off to find Sasuke. Tell her you're going to show Sasuke to make her reaction even funnier.

-During Naruto Shippuden when Naruto's super hot and she's drooling over him, tell her she could have been with that mega hot blonde if she weren't such a shallow bitch.

-Say, "You give fields of cherry blossoms a bad name!" (A/N: Haruno=spring field Sakura=cherry blossom.)

-Complain that guys have bigger boobs than her!

-Dye Sakura's hair bright blonde and every time she makes herself look stupid around Sasuke, laugh and say, "That was such a blonde moment, Sakura-dumb!" I mean no offense if any natural or dyed blondes find this offensive.

-You know how Sakura ALWAYS seems to be right? Well, every time she corrects someone or answers a question, scream, "Wrong!" right by her. When she asks why you did that, say, "You just wrong…all the time! Like always!"

-Fix all the mirrors Sakura comes in contact with so that she looks ugly as hell in them. It helps to grimace every time you see her to make her feel worse.

-Random times during the day, call Sakura a waste of space. If you live through what she might do to you, do it again!

-Tell Sakura that you set her up a date with Sasuke, watch her get all dressed up only for it to be Naruto or Lee. Choose Lee for better results.

-Inform Sakura that Sasuke likes emo girls. Observe Sakura change herself completely and when she looks like a train wreck, which she's already half way at, laugh and say, "I lied, Sasuke's not into emo girls! Hell, I don't think he's into girls period!"

-Lend Sakura over to Quagmire (1) from Family Guy. That's punishment enough to make you ACTUALLY feel bad for her!

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**15 ways to annoy Sakura easily. I loved this one because I hate Sakura to death! Please Review! Kakashi's next!**

**(1)- Quagmire is a character from Family Guy that is a major pervert. He'll do anything with a pulse and boobs.**


	4. Hatake Kakashi

**Ok, sorry about not updating this for like ever! But, I've been distracted with projects and plays and things like that. Please don't be mad! Anyway, here's Kakashi's and I might add more today as well. I don't own Naruto.**

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**15 OR SO WAYS TO ANNOY HATAKE KAKASHI! **

-Simple method, steal his Icha Icha. Twist: Hand it over to Sakura, laugh at how she reacts and how Kakashi tries to cover this up.

-Draw a very realistic picture of him and Iruka…together in ways you wouldn't think they would be. Hand out to everyone, especially Kakashi and say, "I didn't know that was what you and Iruka did behind closed doors."

-Recite all of Kakashi's lame excuses every time he's late. If you think it's annoying when he does it, imagine how annoying he'll find it when you do it.

-Get his hound dogs to turn on him; how you do it doesn't matter. When he notices that his dogs betrayed him say, "Who's the top dog now!"

-Tell Gai that Kakashi would LOVE to have numerous competitions of youth. Watch every attempt Gai makes and how Kakashi reacts to this.

-Send Kakashi one of Gai's jumpsuits with a note saying, "To Kakashi with love, Gai."

-Force Tempura (Kakashi's least favorite food) down the scarecrow's throat. Watch the rollercoaster ride of emotions take place on Kakashi's face.

-Take a picture of Kakashi with his mask off (A/N: Ha! Good luck with that!). Then, either sell it to everyone who's always wondered what Kakashi really looked like or…use it as blackmail against Kakashi. I suggest the second one.

-Turn squad 7 into babies again and FORCE Kakashi to baby-sit them. Baby-sitting a bunch of brats…that's torture.

-Dress up as a mini Gai, or just get Lee, and follow Kakashi around, screaming about youth and all that good stuff.

-Steal Kakashi's Icha Icha and burn it all! (A/N: This was quite a few dares from my Truth or Dare My Way series. Check them out!)

-Disguise yourself as a younger Kakashi, around 13 or 14, and claim you're his 'mini me'. Follow him around and act the way Kakashi did back then. Warning: this may cause some bad memories (The Obito incident) so it's probably not wise to do this.

-Keep asking Kakashi why he isn't in the corn field. (Kakashi=Scarecrow)

-Whenever Kakashi so much as talks to Iruka, from a safe but close enough for everyone to hear distance, yell, "Look out Iruka! He's going to rape you!"

-Set Kakashi up on a date…with Gai. Be sure NOT to tell that it's with Gai. Be sure to have Gai in a dress (tell him dresses are youthful to get him to wear it) and record Kakashi's reaction.

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**Thinking up ways to annoy Kakashi is somewhat difficult…the third way I didn't come up with. My friend TheDarkHyuuga did. Check out her stories, they're really cool! Well, please review and There might be a few more characters up here later on today! Ja ne!**


	5. Yamanaka Ino

**I'm going to try to go back to the update everyday thing. Hope it goes well . I don't own Naruto! Ino's turn!**

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**15 OR SO WAYS TO ANNOY YAMANAKA INO!!**

-Once her hair fully grows back, chop it off in her sleep and hand it over to Sakura. Pray that Sakura doesn't come after you after Ino's through with her.

-Pair Ino with Shikamaru. Doesn't seem evil but once you think about it, it is pretty dreadful, for Shikamaru I mean.

-Dye Ino's hair pink like Sakura's and tell people that Ino is a Sakura wanna-be.

-Continuously tell Ino she's ugly as fuck. Get Sasuke to say it too so that she'll really believe it.

-Steal all of Ino's hair care products (no telling how much there is O.O) and switch them out for different hair dyes.

-Pair Ino with Sakura. Punishment enough.

-Different flowers mean different things, correct? Well, buy a bouquet of flowers that mean something along the lines of, "I hate you" "Stay away" etc. and send them to Ino. Make sure Sasuke's name is on it.

-Catch Ino cheating on her diet. Take a picture and hand out to everyone. When Ino passes by, yell, "Whatever happened to your diet, Ino-pig!" Run. (A/N: You all should know by now that I love public embarrassment! I love it so much!)

-Hand Ino a picture of her…overweight (Omg!) That's enough to scare anyone!

-When Ino's blabbering on about Sasuke, go up to her and say, "Sasuke will never love you." When she complains and asks why, show her pictures of Sasuke kissing, hugging, etc. various guys (ex. Naruto, Gaara, Neji if you're lucky) and say "Proof enough that he'll never love you."

-After Ino gets her nails done, **see to it** that Ino breaks at least two nails. (A/N: Come on, Ino's a MAJOR girly-girl. Breaking a nail is tragic for girls as girly as Ino.)

-Show Ino a picture of Deidara and claim that SHE is a copycat and VERY unoriginal. And plain, don't forget that.

-Every time Ino talks about herself, say very harshly, "Quit Lying to yourself, you arrogant bitch." See how far you get with that.

-Learn the mind transfer jutsu and control Ino for as long as possible. Of course she knows a way out, so learn the most advanced method.

-Tell Chouji that Ino has offered to pay for an all you can eat buffet. Ino can't get herself outta that! Kukukuku… (Evil laugh in case you didn't know)

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**A lot of ways to get to Ino is by making her look bad in front of Sasuke and crushing her self-pride. Next up is Shikamaru…troublesome. Please review!**


	6. Nara Shikamaru

**Ok ok, I haven't updated this in a month. I apologize but I've been extremely lazy but also busy. I had a play to do, project to finish, exams to take (which I'm still not done with) and an inauguration to watch. Ok, the last one I only watched bits and pieces of but it was really cool. Now onto Shikamaru! I don't own Naruto and never will.****

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**15 OR SO WAYS TO ANNOY NARA SHIKAMARU!**

-Challenge Shikamaru to a shogi or go game**. **Beat him every time, if that's even possible. When he claims you cheated, as innocently as possible say, "I guess we know who the REAL genius is, ne?"

-When Shikamaru's cloud-gazing, get in the way of his view. Knowing how lazy he is, he won't do anything but seethe angrily.

-This can be an add on to the one above…talk Shikamaru's ear while he's trying to cloud gaze. You could also do this to him at anytime, but it's worth it when he's sleeping.

-Constantly make noise when Shikamaru's sleeping. When he wakes up pissed off, say as sweetly as possible, "Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

-When it's one of Shikamaru's relaxation days, force him to do back-breaking labor. Say that Tsunade ordered him to do it so that he has no choice.

- Force Shikamaru to spend a day with Ino while she's…shopping! (A/N: dun dun DUN! That's torturous.)

-Hang the fact that Shikamaru failed his first mission as a Chuunin over his head.

-Pester Shikamaru about how he nearly ALWAYS gets his ass whooped by girls.

-Set it up so that Shikamaru spends the entire day with his mother…trust me when I say that sucks.

-If Chouji and Shikamaru were to hang out at a restaurant and you happen to find out that Shikamaru's paying, pull up a seat next to them and order the most expensive things…on Shikamaru's behalf.

-Steal Shikamaru's favorite pillow and destroy it. Seriously with how much Shikamaru sleeps, he has to have a favorite pillow.

-Dance around Shikamaru singing, 'Shikamaru and Temari sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…' You can change it to Ino or leave it as Temari if you want so long as you sing it constantly and piss him off.

-Call Shikamaru pineapple head. Easy, but entertaining all the same.

-Release Shikamaru's hair from that horrid hair tie. Then say, "No wonder you always wear your hair up. You should really invest in a straight iron."

-Mimic Shikamaru by saying 'troublesome' every time he calls something troublesome.

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**Shika-kun's done! He and I are similar in so many ways, 'cause we both like to sleep, hate dealing with other people bothering us, are totally unmotivated, and find everything troublesome. But, despite all that, we're both good friends and put our all into everything we are devoted to.** **Now that I'm done annoying you with random shit about me, I will finish this and go. Ja ne and please review…nicely might I add. :D**


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Naruto, Humor