Fushigi Yuugi Sailor Seishi and the Evil Mix-Up

Sailor Seishi and the Evil Mix-Up  
  
"Myeheheheh...now, I shall truly test your sanity, Suzaku no Miko..." an evil voice whispered, while staring at a hologram of Miaka and the gang. Then the evil being began to laugh like hyena.  
  
***  
  
"I want food sooo much!" Miaka's stomach grumbled as the seishi and the gang walked around the woods.  
  
"Geez, Miaka, you just ate all of our food..." Tasuki complained. He had been starving for days, like all of the other seishi. No, they haven't been lost or isolated from civilization. In fact, they've been going to a dining place every three hours. However, they're precious miko have been consuming every crumb of food they could afford. "Damn Miaka, how the hell do ya get so hungry so quickly?"  
  
Suddenly, Tamahome started acting weird. He picked up a piece of stick and started twirling it around like a baton. Then, he started chanting about "love and justice". No one noticed the weird, and not to mention very fruity, actions that Tamahome have been doing. They were all too busy looking for berries to feed Miaka.  
  
Since the group was looking for berries, they separated. Miaka stayed where she was, while Tasuki, Chichiri, Nuriko, Hotohori, Chiriko and Mitsukake all went into they're own corner of the dim forest, looking for some berries to stuff Miaka. Tamahome also ran off, but not to find berries for his beloved...  
  
***  
  
"SAILORMOON! USE YOUR TIARA!" Tuxedo Mask yelled, while he threw a bouquet of roses at super-ugly monster that Queen Barrel sent out to kill Sailormoon, for the hundredth time.  
  
Sailormoon was about to follow Tuxedo's orders when she began to fight using martial arts. She was amazed and yet indifferent. She also had the sudden urge to charge Tokyo for saving its butt for about a hundred times. She quickly saw Tuxedo Mask in trouble and raced over to him. She kicks the super-ugly monster's butt and hugs Tuxedo, asking, "Are you okay?"  
  
The rest of the Sailor Scouts get disgusted with Sailormoon and Tuxedo's affection towards each other. They leave the battlefield when...  
  
***  
  
"Tamahome! What's wrong with you?" Nuriko asked, looking at the twirling Tamahome with his piece of stick. Nuriko came to a conclusion that kissing Miaka had seriously given him some kind of mental sickness. Nuriko picked up a boulder to throw to Tamahome, but he abruptly got an urge to cook and wear a green, skimpy dress. He joined Tamahome at posing and chanting, "we will right wrongs and triumph over evil". Tamahome and Nuriko headed off towards Hotohori's direction in the woods...  
  
They arrive at Hotohori's corner. Hotohori senses their arrival and greets them, kindly. He offers them some of the red berries he found under some bushes. At first, Hotohori didn't notice that Tamahome was twirling a stick and pointing it everywhere, saying, "Moon Healing Action!" while Nuriko was zapping several trees with his new, lightning powers. Only when Hotohori got zapped himself did he realize the major change in his companions.  
  
"What in Suzaku's name are you doing?" Hotohori took out his sword, remembering the episode with the evil Miaka. Subsequently, Hotohori pointed the sword at Nuriko. Nuriko zapped it away from him. Hotohori was frightened and began to run away. Then, he turned around and stopped. "Venus, LOVE CHAIN!!!"  
  
A bright whip with heart shaped chains came out of no where. Hotohori now joined Tamahome and Nuriko. "We will eliminate the evils of this world!"  
  
***  
  
Mars got pissed off at Sailormoon and Tuxedo's lovey-dovey whispers. She pried Sailormoon off of Tuxedo, but instead of making fun of Sailormoon's meatball hair, she flamed her. Sailormoon obviously got mad and returned the flame with a nice healthy beating. Tuxedo began whining, "Stop it you two! You're friends! STOP FIGHTING!!!!"  
  
The rest of the scouts stared at Tuxedo's unusual high tone of voice. They thought nothing of it and ignored the three weirdos. They transformed back to their normal selves and were ready to go back to their normal lives.  
  
"I'm going to the library to study, no da!" Amy said.  
  
"What's up with the 'no da'?" Questioned Lita.  
  
"I dunno, no da! I think I'm catching a disease, no da!" Amy answered, astonished.  
  
"Well, I shall now go back and practice my sword fighting skills," Mina blurted.  
  
Lita was beginning to get freaked out with her companions' words. Never before in her life had she heard them like that.  
  
***  
  
Somewhere in the woods, Tasuki was gathering berries to eat himself. He didn't care about Miaka's hunger. She did eat every single grain of food there was and she was still hungry. He picked a few more berries, then yelled, "AHHH!!! I broke a nail!!!!"  
  
Chichiri was not very far from Tasuki, so her heard him. He quickly ran towards his friend and once he got to Tasuki's spot in the forest, he saw Tasuki freaking out.  
  
"Tasuki! What's wrong? Did more people come from Kotou?"  
  
Tasuki showed his finger with the broken nail to Chichiri. "Look at it! I've been working all morning on these perfect nails!"  
  
"Tasuki--" Chichiri was scared for him. "He must be under some kind of evil spell. It could affect me too," Chichiri muttered to himself. He smiled and slowly backed away from Tasuki. "Maybe I can look up Tasuki's disease with my computer..."  
  
Chichiri walked around for a while, before realizing there wasn't a computer in that time. It was Ancient China! Chichiri began to panick. "Okay...no computer...Okay...I can deal with this...Just think...think without computer...yes...no computer...no precious computer...precious, where are you?"  
  
***  
  
As usual, Lita was practicing Martial Arts. After a few hours of kicking and punching, she looked over to the other side of the gym. There were weights. She decided to try something new and lift weights. She walked over and began lifting, starting with the lightest first. In a matter of minutes, she was already lifting 500 pounds. She decided to rest, before trying out the 600 pounders. "I must've gotten stronger," she gloated to herself.  
  
Lita was going to get some lunch before more weight lifting. She was shocked, as she saw Mina threatening a little bald boy with her sword.  
  
"Miboshi..." She muttered  
  
"M-mi-miss! Please don't hurt me. I'm just a little kid!" The little boy whined. He tried to run to his mother, but Mina stopped him, with her sword.  
  
"Quit acting like a little boy, Miboshi! I know it's you! Release your evil form, so I can kill it!"  
  
Lita ran to her whacko friend. She took the sword by force and apologized to the little kid. Then, she began to yell at Mina for what she was doing, but quickly stopped.  
  
"Hotohori-sama! We're perfect for each other."  
  
Hoto--I mean Mina ignored Lita and began to look for Amy. She saw Amy dressed in an awkward outfit. She had a dark blue blanket wrapped around her body and a pointed hat. Also, Mina realized that under the hat, Amy's bangs were hanging up. She wasn't very surprised and neither was Lita.  
  
***  
  
Miaka was looking for her fellow companions and her food when two soldiers from Kutou attacked her. She saw a rose bush near buy and started picking a lot of roses. The thorns didn't seem to bother her. She just kept picking, and picking them. The soldiers were bewildered by her actions and watched her pick her pretty roses. After Miaka picked about 2 dozen roses, she started throwing them at the soldiers. At first, it didn't bother the two trained warriors, but after a while, the roses got annoying and just left Miaka alone.  
  
Miaka, somehow, found the rest of the seishi: Tamahome, Tasuki, Nuriko, Hotohori, and Chichiri. They started posing around together and chanting, "In behalf of the moon, we will defeat evil!"  
  
End of Chapter 1 


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Fushigi Yuugi, Humor, Parody