Naruto 1. Pain and Sorrow

**HIIIII EVERYONE!**

**The updates of this story are going to be way tooooooo slow so please, please, PLEASE bear with me. PLEASE DON'T PRESSURE ME!**

**And please guys, is painfully obvious that this is a Fem Naruto fanfic, so please if you don't like DON'T READ!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine _(unfortunately)_ I just own the plot.**

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**Summary:** Naruto had it all. The strength, the brains, the looks... But all went to the drain with that one mission. At the tender age of ten, Naruto had made it to ANBU and if she had preserved, her dream of Hokage would have come true. But that didn't happen. Broken and misunderstood, she left ANBU and her shinobi life behind in order to live as a civilian, unfortunately, we can't always have what we want. Now, five years after the mission that changed her whole life, her past as a shinobi has come back to haunt her. Can she face her own demons while trying to keep everyone at arm's length? Or will she break under the pressure?

**Pairing:** Some minor Itachi X Naruto_ (siblings/mentor). _I have already decided the pairing, but it will take a while to get there, so I will keep it a secret until then XD.

**Warnings: **Non-Canon, FemNaruto,** mild Sakura-bashing**, super!Naruto, intelligent!Naruto, etc, etc, etc. More warning will be added in the future. **JUST TO BE CLEAR! MOST OF MY KNOWLEDGE COMES FROM FANFICTIONS I HAVE READ AND THE INTERNET! **

**THIS FANFIC HAS BEEN INSPIRED ON 'But he's just a ramen chef!' BY Viperflamer.**

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**Published: 01-17-15**

**Updated: 07-05-15**

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**Book One: The New Beginning For Her**

**― ****痛みと悲しみ ****―**

**Chapter One: Pain and Sorrow**

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**Normal PoV**

Cerulean blue eyes watched blankly, almost lifelessly, at the scene in front of them from behind orange-ish blonde bangs.

There was pain in them.

Sorrow.

And above everything else, _shame_.

The small blonde girl whom those deep blue eyes belonged to, walked silently away from the scene she had painted with the blood of her enemies, and towards her village. Not a word was muttered. Neither by her, nor by her older companions behind her who were looking at her with awe, fascination, and dare she say it, pride.

_Pride._

She hated it.

All her life she had been fighting for this, to be here, right here, right now. To be acknowledge and beloved by her village.

But not this way.

_"Monster!"_

Only now she could understand this wasn't what she had wished for.

_"Demon child!"_

Only now she realized that her dreams and fantasies had been nothing more than that.

**_"MURDERER!"_**

Only now did she realized that...

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**_She was in hell._**

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Sarutobi watched silently from his office the Hokage monument.

He felt tired, so tired.

It had been five years since the last time he saw Naruto. Really saw her. The little girl he used to and still did considered his granddaughter as much as Konohamaru and the blonde's little red haired brother Menma, had deserted his life for lack of better words. The blonde little girl ―well, not so little now since she was a teenager, almost an adult in other people's eyes― tried to stay away from him and any shinobi in the vicinity as much as she could, even the little kids and young teens that were still in the Academy were evaded by her like the plague. She had cut everybody out of her life.

Even Naruto's own little brother Menma was excluded from the blonde's life, even if that decision had been made by Menma himself.

He could still remember the events that led to her detachment from everybody's lives.

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**_*FLASHBACK*_**

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_The old Hokage watched with a soft smile at the young girl in front of her. No one had expected her to go this far, not even himself, but she proved them all wrong, and for that, he was proud. Gone was the little girl that used to wear orange everywhere and style her hair into high pigtails that bounced around and smacked everyone's face every time she did her mischief. In front of him was now a small adult. Although right now she was wearing the standard ANBU uniform alongside a fox mask that hid her face to the world, Naruto's orange clothes had been replaced with darker clothes and she no longer looked like a walking target sign. She was wearing black skin tight shorts and on top of that a dark red skirt. An open long sleeved shirt that was a few shades darker than the skirt and there was a black top underneath that to cover Naruto's chest and part of her stomach. To complement the look, she wore long black fingerless gloves and black ninja boots that reached a few inched above her knees. Her blonde hair was cut very short and resembled Hyuuga Hinata's hairstyle, the only difference was that her bangs were uneven and the two strands of hair that framed her face were longer, reaching a little past her collarbone and resting on her shoulders._

_She was the perfect combination of both of her parents. She had the blonde hair of her father, but that blonde faded into an orange color before it turned the bright fiery red her mother's hair used to be when she was alive. Her eyes were a darker shade of blue than her father's and if one looked close enough, strips of dark purple like her mother's could be seen. Her skin was a sun kissed color and there were three whiskers-like marks on her cheeks that were made of very thin facial hair she had been born with much to his displeasure, not that they were ugly, no; they actually give her an exotic look with both an adorable and dangerous edge depending on her mood. They suited her. The reason why he didn't like them very much was that because of them, the civilians used to look at her like she was the Kyuubi herself. It got better with the years and now no one dared to see her as such after she proved herself and gained the acknowledgement of everyone, but it did bring the young blonde pain once upon a time._

"So young and already stronger than myself." _He thought wistfully. _"I guess something good did came from the Kyuubi being sealed inside of her."

_The girl's eyes were calm and collected, and there was a spark of excitement in them too. She was always on guard, just like she had been trained to._

_"Naruto." The old man called earning the attention of the blue eyed blonde. "You are still very young, and have many things yet to learn about life," he started, "but something I have learned about you in all this years, is that won't ever give up in you ideals." He said with a small smile that was returned from the small child in front of him. "I have talked with the council, and we have come to the decision that you are ready to become the next Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato." Naruto's eyes widened at the declaration and she made a little choked gasp sound. A mix between a squeal and a yelp._

_"B-But Jiji!" She exclaimed._

_"No, Naruto." Sarutobi interrupted her. "I am getting to old and the council and I think it is time for a new Hokage." He explained, and Naruto nodded shyly. "Very well, we will talk about that once you return. For now, I want you and your team to accompany Kakashi's to the border between Konoha and Iwa. I have been notified of the presence of Iwa-nins scouting around, try to find what they are up to. Do not to attack unless it is absolutely necessary."_

_"Hai, Hokage-sama!"_

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_The Hokage now stood in front of his tower with Danzo and some other members of the council, his ANBU bodyguards surrounding them and keeping an eye on any threat there could be. They had received word that Naruto and the rest had returned and they were waiting for them, he noticed from the corner of his eye a small figure approaching the building, more specifically, approaching him._

_It was Naruto._

_Naruto walked over to them silently, her now visible face blank of any emotion, and her fellow ANBU walking a few meter behind her. It had been two days since they left for the mission and they all looked fine, if not a little tired. That was good at least._

_"Naruto, I take it went we-" But he didn't have time to finish. Naruto quickly took out her hitai-ate that usually was around her forehead from her pocket and put it carefully on the old man's hand alongside the fox mask before making him close his fingers around them._

_"I... quit..." She whispered dully, and it was then when Sarutobi noticed her lifeless eyes. Without another word, the blond prodigy turned around and disappeared with a flick of wind. Not a second later, one of the ANBU that went with her, accompanied by Kakashi approached him._

_"Naruto was brilliant, sir." Kakashi said, and the old Hokage could have sworn he sounded giddy._

_"Some Iwa-nins knew we were coming and prepared a surprise attack, but Uzumaki-sama knew exactly where they were and kill them before they had the chance to attack us." The other shinobi added._

_"There were over a hundred ninjas and Naruto took them single handed." Kakashi said, his chest seemed to have puffed in pride._

_"Did... did something happened to Naruto?" The old man asked looking at the headband and bloodied mask in his hand with sad eyes. The rest of the council and Danzo were still shocked, and unable to produce a single word._

_"No... But she was awfully quiet on the way back..." The other shinobi mused._

_"She also tried to keep her distance between her and the rest... Why? Did something happened?" Kakashi asked confused. He thought that Naruto might have been having problems digesting all the killings she just did, they have been a lot after all, but he also knew that as a member of ANBU, this hadn't been the first time she killed, nor would it be the last time._

_"Well, unless the council and I heard wrong, Naruto just resigned from her shinobi life... as well as her position as the next Hokage." All the presents could only watch in sadness and confusion at the bloody hitai-ate that was left behind by the once energetic ball of sunshine._

_He could only wonder what in the world went wrong._

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**_*END OF FLASHBACK*_**

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A week after that, Naruto had barreled into the Hokage's office and demanded to be allowed to leave the village. The old man Sarutobi had done everything in his power and used every trick on the book to make her change her mind, including trying to guilt tripping her by saying she shouldn't leave Menma behind and even adding their parents into the equation, but the blonde simply refused. It was a few days later when Menma himself came to him and told him he wanted nothing more with_ 'that traitor' _and the old man had no other choice but to give in when the blonde child threatened with leaving and becoming a missing-nin if that was what it would take to leave Konoha. Sarutobi then granted her the title of Sannin and allowed to come and go as she wished, not even a day later she was gone and no one knew where she went until three years later he received a message from Jiraiya, a former Konoha-nin and the Toad Sannin ―who had also left the village, but for different reasons― informing him that he had taken another apprentice that resembled greatly the Fourth Hokage and his wife, but went by the name of Namimaki Toruna. Sarutobi had been tempted to send someone retrieve the child, but he knew that doing so would only drive her farther away, so he let her stay with Jiraiya with the hope that someday she would come back.

Eventually, a year later more or less, after been receiving monthly updates from Jiraiya, the Toad Sannin confessed to him that the twelve year old blonde had left him, but not before she had signed the Toad Contract. Jiraiya revealed that he had felt used, but also wrote that he had been the one to coax her into sign the contract in the first place. During the first months the Sandaime remain on edge, he didn't know where the little girl was and despite knowing she could take care of herself, he couldn't help but feel worried for the young child.

At last, the old Hokage received word from the most unlikely person.

Senju Tsunade, the granddaughter of the Shodaime, niece to the Nidaime and last of the Senju Clan, sent him a message seven months after Jiraiya's last one claiming to have come across_ 'Uzumaki's and Namikaze's spawn'_ hiding under the name of Uzunami Natoru, and had decided to take her as her apprentice alongside with Shizune after showing a remarkable chakra control despite her huge chakra reserves that came from being both an Uzumaki, and a Jinchuuriki on top of that.

Sarutobi's worries were once again placated, but yet again, she disappeared after being under a Sannin tutelage for roughly a year and a half. Tsunade then wrote to him to inform him that 'Natoru' had competed her apprenticeship and left to travel once again after Tsunade convinced her to sign the Slug Contract. The old Hokage had been very taken aback when Tsunade confessed she had wanted the young girl to sign the Slug Contract even though she knew she had already signed another.

Once again, she remained out of his radar until her return a few weeks after her fifteen birthday. He had wanted to go look for her, but had been unable to see her as she kept evading him. Even after all those years, she still had the ability to remain hidden if she wished do so.

Today marked a year since her return and seven since she resigned from her ninja life, and Sarutobi didn't know that to do. Today was the graduation exam for Menma's class. He had applied a law that made the minimum age for graduation thirteen years old. Naruto leaving ANBU had given the old man time to think that maybe having child soldiers wasn't the best idea. That thought only got stronger when Uchiha Itachi massacred the majority of his clan with the exception of his little brother, mother and a few others by Danzo's orders. Not a many people had been happy when it happened, especially the Hyuuga Clan, they, along with the Uchiha Clan, had been known for having prodigies at least every two generations, so they were considerably angry when Sarutobi put the minimum graduation age law.

Anyway, since Naruto's return the old man discovered that the girl had developed a strong drinking problem much like Tsunade and was a little sad, if not disappointed. He didn't want to see her throw away her life like that, but he couldn't stop her either, not when he once caught her crying and drinking her sorrows away. Whatever that happened during _that_ mission messed her up greatly, and she tried to ease her pain with the alcohol. Something many other ninjas, even himself, often did. That was the only reason he allowed her to drink despite being so young, and turned a blind eye instead.

Sarutobi seriously hoped that whatever that have broken on the young teen's heart would be able to be mended by the young graduates and her little brother, who he knew, despite what the dark red haired boy said, missed his big sister greatly. If not...

He didn't know what else he could do to help her.

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**Sooooo... you love it? hate it? I hope you guys liked it! XD**

**I love you guys don't forget to review! XD**

**＊****痛みと悲しみ: Itami to kanashimi: Pain and sorrow.**

**And sorry for the mistakes.**

**_Bye bye!_**

**Mia Heartnet.**


	2. STORIES BEING STOLEN

Dear everyone,

For all of you who were waiting for another update of this story, it is my deepest regret to tell you that it is not, and until further notice, I will not be posting any more chapters.

_Why? _

The reason for this note is because it has come to my attention that there are several fake websites that are mirrors of this one, and literally, ALL FANFICS from FFnet are being stolen.

All stories, profiles, absolutely everything has been stolen and copied onto the following websites (just get rid of the spaces):

* thebuystock . org

* talkfictions . com

* fictionavenue . org

* thanfiction . org

* hmofiction . org

They are making profit out of our stories with advertisements. The are taking away what we made and saying it's theirs, and that despicable. This is called spamdexing, please report them. Theft of this magnitude, literally millions of stories, should not go unpunished.

My fellow writers, beta readers, fans, and everyone who owns a FFnet account, please listen to my plea:

**DO NOT TRY TO LOG INTO ANY SITE THAT LOOKS LIKE FFNET BUT IT'S NOT, WE DON'T KNOW IF THEY COULD ALSO STEAL OUR EMAILS AND PASSWORDS! **

...

**HOW TO REPORT **

1- Go here:_ google(. com) /webmasters /tools/spamreportform?hl=en_ (without spaces and parenthesis)

2- Put in the name of the website (one report each)

3- Write in additional details: This is a spamdexing mirror site to fan fiction . net (no spaces) and has stolen my profiles and intellectual property.

4- Click "I am not a robot" and then "Report webspam"

5- Report more by clicking the link on: Go back to_ google(. com) /webmasters /tools/spamreportform?hl=en_ (without spaces and parenthesis)

Writers and fanfic readers should report these websites that profit off our hard work. Stop plagiarism and art theft!  
Boost! I looked into this website, and my stories are there. Let's get these bastards. Check your work. I'm very sorry for disappointing you all, but hopefully all of this will be over soon and we can all go back to write and read fanfics without fearing works being stolen.

_**Mia Heartnet.**_


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Naruto, Adventure, Romance