Naruto 1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't care what legal proof you have, I own Naruto and all affiliated characters. ONLY THE SPANISH INQUISITON COULD STOP ME!**

**Allrighty, since there seems to be a large rash of (Naruto) "High School AU"'s going around, I thought I'd hop on the bandwagon. But my idea is far more original than those, because…MY IDEA IS MADE BY ME! And since that idea was made by me, the idea is mine! I thought of it, and therefore that thought I was thinking had been thought by me! And those thoughts that were thought by me came from my head, which I own! And so I will take over the world and stop those accursed Power Puff Girls, for I am MOJO JOJO! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Alright, insanity passed, I will now explain myself a little. While reading one of Kisshi-chan's rather amusing stories, where Sakura is clinically insane, the idea came to me that, Hey, I could make a high school story… AND THE IDEA WAS BRILLIANT AND YOUTHFUL!**

**Lee: Must agree on that. It is a very youthful thought, for all youths must learn from somewhere.**

**Gai: Yes, I concur. I will teach them the youthfulness of hard physical labor! 1000 LAPS AROUND KONOHA!**

**Lee: HAI GAI-SENSEI! (begins lap 1)**

**Gai: I SHALL JOIN YOU LEE, IN YOUR YOUTHFUL TRAINING! (Runs after Lee)**

**(a few hours later)**

**Gai: Lee! I have another brilliant and youthful idea!**

**Lee: What is it Gai-sensei? Please reveal these youthful thoughts!**

**Gai: We sell youthful Fat-burning Workout regimens on Ebay!**

**Lee: HAI HAI HAI! SHEER BRILLIANCE!  
**

**(They run off to find a computer)**

**Oh yeah, if you hadn't noticed, I have a little running theme with my little Gai/lee moments. They're building up money so that they can create an evil… er, uh… _youthful_ empire. There'll be a fic about that later.**

**This is a KibaHinata fic. There will be other pairings too, but the main is KibaHina.**

**This is going to be sort of a trans-world fic. A little of ours, a little of theirs, and we add a cup of sugar, a dash of salt, and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Stir well, and place into preheated oven at 365 degrees Fahrenheit.**

**ON WITH THE FICTION!**

**Chapter 1**

_**First day of school, last day of heaven**_

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP,_ Came a noise from next to Kiba's head. The alarm clock showed 7:30 on its face. A voice came on from the contraption…

"Good morning Konoha. It's a beautiful day today, looking to be about 45 degrees Centigrade. We're expecting little to no cloud cover.

" And also today we are celebrating the opening of the new high school, Sarutobi High, dedicated in the name of our former Hokage. In other news…" The voice cut out as Kiba smashed the alarm clock with his fist. A thought popped into his head.

_School… school… now where have I heard that word before. High school… it's a place I know that… and if I remember correctly, it's a living hell of some sort…_, He thought, scrunching his eyes and sitting up. He held his head, trying to think where he had heard that word before…

" OH SHIT! I'M GONN BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" He screamed. He quick stood up, lept off of his bed and into his bathroom; he ripped off his boxers and jumped into the shower and turned it on. He was hit with a spray of icy water.

"DAMN THAT'S COLD!" He yelped, jumping out of the shower stall.

Akamaru, upon hearing his master, and friend, screams of pain, burst through the bathroom door. The huge dog stopped, seeing Kiba naked as the day he was born. The dog gave a low dog-chuckle, which sounded like a quick series of low barks.

"Oh yeah! Well screw you, Akamaru!" Kiba said irately, throwing a nasty glance at his constant companion since birth. Akamaru gave another bark

"What do you mean Hana's already done that?" … "OH YOU'RE GONNA DIE NOW SMARTASS!" Kiba screamed at him. Akamaru turned and ran through the open bathroom door. The enraged Inuzuka gave chase, wearing absolutely nothing.

" Now what's all the screaming about?" Hana asked, stepping into Kiba's room. She was knocked over by a giant white blur and a naked pink one, the pink blur shouting curses at the white one as they ran past. She just shook her head, deciding that it was better not to ask. She got up, and started gathering Kiba's dirty clothes for him, knowing that he'd never do it himself.

She heard a cry of "GATSUUGA!" and the crashing of glass. By the sound of it, it was expensive.

"KIBA! WHAT THE HELL? GET SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON!" She could here her mother, Tsume, screaming from downstairs. Suppressing a laugh, she gathered the bundle of clothes, and walked out into the hallway. She turned left and started down the stairs, only to be knocked over by the white and pink blurs, which in turn, were running from a large, female-shaped blur. Kiba's clothing went flying everywhere.

Hana just shook her head sadly, thinking that if this was going to be life all school year, she would rather live in a box, away from everyone else. She got up and gathered his clothes again, and finished walking down the stairs. Hana noticed that the doorway to the kitchen was in splinters, and it looked like a bomb went off on the inside. She went into the washing room, and put Kiba's clothes into the washing machine. She poured in the soap, and heard another "GATSUUGA!" from upstairs, an explosion, and Kiba shrieking in pain. Underneath Kiba's screams, she could hear Akamaru yelping.

She sighed, and walked up the stairs. She looked down the hall, and saw dust settling from around the corner. She walked down, passing Kiba's room, the family bathroom, two storage rooms, and the office. She turned the corner, and sighed, seeing that a chunk of the wall was blown outward, and her mother was standing in the middle of the hole panting. She appeared to be holding a chunk of brown hair, and Akamaru's collar.

" Is he still alive?" Hana asked cautiously, peering around Tsume's shoulder.

" Unfortunately." She spat. "He broke my best china, the counter, the dishwasher, dented the safe, broke the table, shattered the door, and all other sorts of hell. All he missed was the kitchen sink, and that was just because I had been standing in front of it."

She sighed. Her son could be such a pain sometimes. " Go fix up Akamaru, I'll get Kiba." She commanded the younger Inuzuka. They both jumped down and landed atop a small pile of shattered bricks. Hana heard a groan, and saw a hand sticking out of the bricks. She sighed again, and reached down. With a yank and a pull, she got Kiba free of the pile. He was covered in cuts and bruises. She set him down on a patch of grass, and went to search for Akamaru.

She found Kiba's familiar laying a few feet away, underneath a bush. He was in a similar state to Kiba, being covered in cuts and bruises, and he appeared to have broken his foot. Hana touched said body part, and felt Akamaru flinch, and heard him whimper.

"There there, it's okay." She said softly, as though speaking to a child. She grabbed his foot, and started realigning the bones as best she could. Fortunately, the break hadn't been too bad, and was a simple matter to fix. She applied a healing jutsu on it; this one tailored for dogs instead of people, and mended the broken appendage.

All Hana's mother did was slap Kiba until he was awake. He groaned, batting said hand away. She blushed, realizing Kiba was still naked.

"WAKE UP DAMNIT!" Tsume screamed into his ear, startling him awake, and making him jump a foot in the air.

"I AM AWAKE!" He screamed back.

"THE HELL YOU WERE!" The elder Inuzuka screeched. She looked ready to kill… again.

Then Kiba thought of something. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Ummm… Almost nine. Why?" Hana said, looking at her watch. Akamaru began to stand up shakily.

" BECAUSE SCHOOL STARTED AN HOUR AGO!" Kiba screamed. He scrambled up the wall and through the hole. A few minutes later, he appeared back in the hole, fully clothed. He jumped through and landed on the pile of bricks. He dashed over to Akamaru, who's leg was fine now. He jumped up on top of said dog, and they began sprinting towards their new school.

Five minutes later, they arrived. Kiba looked in awe at the school, having never seen it before. It was four stories tall, with a parking lot off to the right side of the school. On the path leading to the door, there were a couple of benches, and a rather nice sized fountain off to the side of the path, and the grounds were spotted with trees. There was a large pond off to the left, looking to be roughly 50 meters across. It had Cattails lining it on the north and west sides, with several surprisingly large willows behind them. (I love willow trees, they're so beautiful).

Kiba couldn't believe how huge it was, but decided to be awed later, and pulled out his schedule as he and Akamaru began walking towards the double-doors. He had Kakashi for his first class. He looked around for the office, finding it just inside the doorway, to the left. He walked in, Akamaru staying outside of the room, and asked the secretary for directions to Kakashi's classroom. She told him it was on the fourth floor, room 876. He thanked her, and looked for the stairs.

Finding none, he walked back to the office. He asked the secretary were the stairs were. She said that there were none.

"What!" He said, surprised; he was doing his best not to yell.

"There are no stairs. Instead, there are four large, empty spaces that stretch from the top of the school, to the bottom, with the floors branching off of them. There was on in each corner of the school." She explained, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, well that explains a lot." He said, still confused.

He thanked her, and left. Kiba headed towards the southern corner of the school. When he reached there, he was practically forced to look up.

"Whoa…" Was all that he said. He looked at the wall, and saw a plaque on the wall. He read it.

_These giant columns are used, instead of stairs, because they will help your chakra control. You have to walk or run up these walls to reach your floor. Have fun, and don't break anything!_

_This plaque, and its inscription, has been supplied by Hatake Kakashi._

"Ohhhhhh. Now _that_ explains a lot." He said, Akamaru barking in agreement. Kiba stepped back, and started concentrating chakra to his feet.

"HAAAH!" Kiba yelled charging at the wall. He jumped, and landed on the wall. He began to run up it, heading towards the fourth floor. Kiba heard a bark from below, a thump, and the sound of Akamaru's galloping feet.

They reached the fourth floor quickly. Kiba began to look for his classroom.

"869…872…873…875…877… whoops, missed it!" He said, turning back. He walked to room 876, and looked through the one of the windows next to the door. What he saw made his jaw drop. It was mass chaos! Paper wads being flung, kids running around, and other such troublemaking activities. He saw Naruto next to the teacher's desk, looking mischievous.

He opened the door. Everything quieted instantly.

"It's not Kakashi!" Someone yelled. The chaos resumed. Kiba sighed, and walked towards an empty desk. Akamaru laid down next to the desk, resting his head on his paws.

"INCOMING KUNAI!" a voice yelled. All of the sudden, Kiba felt a sharp pain in his arm.

"OW DAMMIT!" He screamed. He pulled out the kunai, and shoved it underneath his desk. Blood was rolling down his arm. He felt someone grab his injured arm.

"Are you okay Kiba-kun?" A soft voice said from next to him. Kiba looked up, and blushed slightly, when he was met by a pair of concerned-looking soft white eyes.

"Y-yes, Hinata-chan. I'm just fine." He said, looking down at his desk. He had had a crush on Hinata for as long as he could remember. He pulled his arm away gently, still looking away.

"B-but your arm!" She said, her voice sounding concerned. He couldn't believe she was concerned about _him_!

"It's just a scratch…" He mumbled. She grabbed his arm again, and pulled out a small container of some sort of salve. She applied a small amount to the gash, and began to spread it around. That's when she noticed all of his other cut's and bruises.

"Kiba-kun! What happened?" She said, growing more concerned. He had cuts all over his arms.

"Those? Oh… um… well, I went through a brick wall. Literally." He said looking off to the side again, his blush growing deeper as she continued to inspect his arms.

"What! Why?" She asked. She began rolling up the elbow-length sleeves, trying to see more.

"Uh… well, I really, really, _really_ pissed off my mom."

"Tsume-san did this? What did you do?"

"I was running after Akamaru. He had made a comment about Hana and bestiality, and I got pissed at him. I chased him through the house, and I tried to use a Gatsuuga to tackle him, but ended up tearing up the kitchen, at this point my mom got super pissed off, and Gatsuuga'd my ass through the wall."

"OH! How terrible! Here let me fix those." She said. For some reason she looked like she had tears in her eyes. That had made her cry?

He felt the balm being put on his arms by Hinata's hands. Kiba decided that Hinata's hands had the softest skin he had ever felt. His thoughts began to stray, as he felt the relaxing, and healing, effects of Hinata's medicine take effect. He wondered if other parts of her body were just as soft… he slapped himself on the forehead.

"Baka!" He muttered to himself. He couldn't believe he had been thinking that about Hinata!

"What was that?" Hinata asked, looking up from her work.

"Nothing." He said, averting his gaze away from her again. His mind kept drifting to thoughts about Hinata's soft, creamy white skin...

Kiba stiffened. Hinata had been pressing on a particularly painful bruise. Kiba clenched his fist and gritted his teeth. _Damn_ that had hurt.

"S-sorry about that." She muttered. She blushed a little when she felt his strong arms flex under her hands.

"It's okay. You didn't do anything." Kiba said softly, looking at her.

"Good morning class!" Came a voice from the door.

"Kakashi-sensei! It's about time!" Naruto yelled. He looked annoyed.

"Well, you see, there was this old woman, she needed help…" Kakashi was cut off by everyone in the room sighing.

"We've already heard it!" They all yelled at him.

"Well, if that's the case…" He said, looking miffed. He walked over to the board, and began writing what looked like an obscenely long and hard assignment on the board.

"It's only the first day!" Someone yelled. Kakashi began to add more assignments to the board.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Kiba yelled at him, startling Akamaru, who had been sleeping, and scaring Hinata, who's head had been right next to his as she was healing the cut's on his shoulder. Kakashi just added more assignments. He was nearing about twenty.

"Hinata-san, if you would be so kind as to take a seat, class can begin." Kakashi said, finally turning away from the board, capping the marker he had been writing with.

"Y-yes, s-s-sensei!" She said, blushing fiercely. Kiba grew angry.

"Don't embarrass Hinata-chan like that!" He yelled. Kakashi just smiled, uncapped the marker, and scribbled what looked to be two more assignments. Then he moved to an empty space, and wrote DETENTION on the board, underneath that, he wrote Kiba's name.

"Hinata-_chan?_" someone said from behind Kiba. He turned around, and socked the kid in the face. Kakashi sighed, and wrote "one week" next to Kiba's name, then wrote down the other kid's name. Akamaru then bit the kid's ankle. Kakashi just added Akamaru to the board.

"How can you give a dog detention?" Naruto asked. He was sitting in the front row.

"Because I'm the teacher, and Akamaru's in my class. It's even on the roster." He said, holding up a clipboard that had been sitting on his desk. Akamaru was the first name on it; the rest was alphabetical.

"Speaking of which… Roll Call!" Kakashi said, eye smiling. He began to pick names off the paper.

"Uzumaki Naruto?"

"Here!" Naruto yelled with his trademark grin on his face.

"Haruno Sakura?"

"Hai!" Said the pink haired girl; she was smiling too.

"Inuzuka Kiba?"

"Here." He grumbled. He looked at the board as Kakashi called off the rest of the names in the class, ears picking up familiar names. He wasn't paying attention though, because he was reading the detention list. _One week already! Dammit, mom's gonna be pissed when I get home_, he thought, shuddering at the idea of his angry mother.

"Alright, now that that's over, you must complete all the assignments on the board by the end of this week!" Kakashi said. This time you could see the grin on through the silver-haired man's mask.

"WHAT!" Everyone in the class yelled. This was going to be a long week.

**Is it good? Is it bad? I need to know!**

**I know that some of it's a little confusing. I have no clue about Tsume's, Kiba's mom's, personality. So I made it like Kiba, loud and somewhat obnoxious. I know that there are some part's in there that need fixing, so please point them out to me, I would find it rather helpful.**

**Oh yes, I have to tell you, I will update whenever I can. That may not be very often either, so don't expect three chapters a week. Don't expect even one chapter a week. Same thing with my other stories, I update whenever it's possible.**

**Please tell me if it sucks.**

**R&R.**

**Much joy,**

**ChickenDeNoodleyNoodleIII**


	2. ON HIATUS DAMMIT!

Alright, this story is on permanant, indefinite **_HIATUS!!_**

**_FOREVER!!_**

Or until I say otherwise. I'm not even paying attention to this story, and it hasn't even crossed my mind for two years now. So say bye-bye to this story for a while.

Regretfully,  
-ChickenDeNoodleyNoodle the Third


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Romance