Digimon Mmm…Yummy, Doom Borsht

You know that really funny World Tour episode? The third one? At the end, when Yolie and Sora are crying over Yuri, Matt's disembodied voice asks, "Yuri?" I wrote a fic because of that. Go figger.   
  
Mmm…Yummy, Doom Borsht   
  
"Yuri?"   
The first time Matt said Yuri's name I was too busy sobbing too hear him. The second time was on the way home.  
"Yuri?!"   
Matt said the name like an accusation. Did he suspect me of cheating on him? I almost laughed. In my tired, numb mind, this one thought seemed funny above all others. That ^I^ would be the one to cheat on ^him^.   
Instead of laughing, though, I said, "I'm feeling kind of tired. Could we talk about this later?" I fidgeted nervously. I could feel someone looking at me. I didn't like having an audience when fighting with my boyfriend. Those words made me shiver…my boyfriend. Matt is my boyfriend. Whoulda thunk?   
Later on, on the way home, Yolie told me that my "audience" was Tai and he was "staring longingly" at me. "Huh?" My frozen mind took a while to process this. I worked through it step by step. Tai was staring longingly at me. Longing for what? Me? Why? Does he like me? I shivered again, this time with happiness and excitement.   
Tai? Tai liked me? My first reaction; Yay, yay, yay! My second; Oops. I've got a boyfriend.  
My tired mind slowly dragged its feet over to the next subject of discussion. He had asked me to hang out before the concert. He said it "didn't really matter"; I thought he was asking because he felt bad for me, and he was doing that for the sake of our friendship. I didn't want to be a burden. I said no. Did he really like me? Oh, cra-aa-ap…Not good…bad…not good…bad…not…good…  
Next thing I knew, Tai was shaking me awake. "Sora." He murmured. "Sora. We're at your house." I blinked at him, bleary-eyed. "Tai?" He nodded. My mind, just woken up, took a minute or two to process this fact. Tai must have thought it was some sort of silent complaint, because he explained all in a rush, "Matt-got-off-already-or-he-would-have-woken-you-up-but-he-already-got-off-and--"   
I smiled fuzzily. "It's ok, Tai. Don't be sad." I don't operate very well when just woken up. I heard Biyomon giggle, then I must have drifted off again, because Tai was laughing gently and shaking me again. "Sora…" "That's me." I blinked and smiled sleepily. "Oh, hello, Tai. Where were we? Oh, yes…don't be sad, Tai. Be happy." I reached up to pull up the corner of his mouth into a smile, like I did in preschool when he scraped his knee or fell backwards off the swing or tripped over a soccer ball and fallen on his head or just choked on his morning snack or tripped on the edge of his rug at nap time or had a wooden block thrown at him. Tai was very accident-prone. "Get well soon, Tai." I murmured unintelligibly. Instead of his mouth, my hand reached on its own and pushed the hair out of his eyes. Deep, sleepy, chocolate brown eyes…  
I woke in Tai's arms. He had carried me all by himself to the apartment? He was so strong…La di da, wonderful strong heroic handsome sweet kind Tai…When he saw I was awake, he smiled and said, "We're at your door." He placed me gently on my feet and held my shoulders until I found my center of balance.   
I hummed my "la di da" tune and said groggily, "Thank you, Tai." I smiled at him vaguely. "I haven't been making much sense, have I?" he shook his head "no" and laughed gently. I smiled at him again, "Okay. Bye-bye, Tai." "Bye-bye, Sora."   
Biyomon and I slipped into my apartment silently. I somehow made my way into my bedroom, where I don't remember changing into pajamas or getting into bed.   
That night I dreamed that Tai stared into my eyes and said, "I will always take care of you, Sora," and I got on Birdramon and flew away, but a giant bowl of borscht floated down and knocked me off. As I was falling, Tai was running closer, yelling, "I will always take care of you, Sora! Matt got off earlier!" but just when he was almost below me so he could catch me, he tripped over a soccer ball. I yelled down as I fell, "Don't be sad, Tai!" but I was yelling in Russian and he couldn't understand me, so he kept being sad. Then I kept falling, and falling, and falling. I don't know if I ever hit the ground, because I woke up.  
I lay in bed confused for a few minutes. What time was it? What were all the memories jumbled up in my head? What was up with that dream? I don't speak Russian! Still, I added it to my dream journal. I glanced to the top of the page where I was making an entry.  
-December 25-  
I gaped silently for a moment then jumped off my bed, ran out of my room, hopped on my mom's bed, and started shouting, "Christmas! It's Christmastime, mom!" The side of the bed I was bouncing on groaned. I gasped, jumped off, and pulled back the covers. "DAD!" I shrieked. And hugged him frantically. "When did you get here? You're home for Christmas!" He smiled blearily. "I came in late last night. We didn't wake you up, because you were sleeping so peacefully not a sound came from your room." I was silent for a moment of extreme relief. My mother opened her eyes and smiled sleepily. "Merry Christmas, Sora."   
CHRISTMAS! YAY!   
Later on that day, I was online, talking happily to a million people, comparing Christmases and complaining that we ate too much. I checked my e-mails; Gwen, reminding me about a match. Spam. Spam. More Spam. I scrolled down to the bottom of my mailbox. An e-mail from Tai! My heart leapt and I opened it expectantly.   
Bad news.  
I felt like the ground was swept out from under me and I was falling, falling, into a giant bowl of borsht, only the borscht symbolized doom. "No." I wailed, but quietly. "Not on Christmas. Not this Christmas. Some other time! No!" I stared at the e-mail fiercely, willing it to disappear.   
That e-mail was like a soccer ball that tripped you and made you sad, only it was a gigantic, horrendous soccer ball that blotted out the world with its incredible bulk. I could feel myself falling again, sinking and drowning in one of it's black patches of eternal darkness.  
Christmastime; the season of crappy similes.   
Anyway, the soccer ball swelled again as the phone rang. I picked it up; Matt, of course. Complaining. "It's later. Who's Yuri?" he demanded. "Don't you think there's more important stuff going on that a hot blond Russian that wanted to feed us?" I wasn't happy. Of all people, I didn't need my boyfriend contributing to my bowl of borsht doom. Boyfriend. Shiver.  
"HOT? BLOND?"   
"Russian." I reminded him, amused in the midst of all the turmoil. He started to complain strenuously. I ignored his tirade and finished reading the e-mail.  
P.S. It's URGENT  
I cut off Matt. "Have you heard?" Apparently he realized how idiotic he was acting, because he responded with matching enthusiasm and sense of importance.   
He had heard.   
Goodie-diddly-doo for him. I suddenly realized I liked Matt better when he wasn't my boyfriend. "Matt, I--" I started to pour some of my doom borsht into his bowl. I had just decided I'd really like to break up with him. "Sorry, Sora, gotta go. Bye." Click.   
Phooey. My Christmas was ruined and me (a.k.a. misery) didn't get any company (which, by the way, misery loves.). If you cheat on your boyfriend when he's still your boyfriend, but tried to break up with him, but he got off the phone too soon, is it still considered cheating? Not that I was planning on playing him, but hey, he already suspected it…he can't suspect me for the same thing twice…Like that movie about the woman who got convicted for killing her husband, but he had set it up, so when she gets out of prison, she's able to kill him for real, and the law can't touch her!   
Something like that.  
I decided Yolie could have Yuri. When I got a chance, I was going after Tai. Tai…sweet, yummy, Tai…Yummy? I confuse myself sometimes.   
I resolved I could figure out my love life after I saved the world. I woke up Biyomon (Good gawsh. I was so messed up and exhausted last night I don't even think I told her goodnight.) and grabbed my coat. I could feel my bowl of doom hovering over my head, reading to pour all over me at a moments notice. I looked up at the empty air. "Bring it on, Borsht baby." I said.  
Biyomon looked scared.  
  
-Fin-  
  
Don't ask…just really, don't ask…  
Should I write this from Tai's POV? I'm considering it. I think it might more sense if I do that…whaddya think?   
P.S. Disclaimer: Sue me. See what I care. ^_^   
  



End file.

Digimon, Humor