Bleach 1. Prologue

**Welcome to the newest fic from our minds! This one is just Skye, Amaya, and the Espada preforming various Broadway musicals. But this is just the prologue.**

"Hello Espada!" Amaya called as she and Skye shot out of the fire place in The Espada Lounge and onto the carpet in front of it. They were soon followed by Szayel and Grimmjow.

"Guess what?!" Skye began excitedly, "It's a week before the Tony Awards!"

"That what awards?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Tony." Skye snapped, "So we're going to put on musicals whether you like it or not!" She said nonchalantly.

"Ok?" Nnoitora said. They were used to the girls treating them like this by now. All one would have to do is think back to the time they learned how to dance ((read Do You Know What I'm Seeing for that scene)).

Skye leaped for joy, "MUSICALS!!!"

"Just go along with it guys, it's in your best interest" Grimmjow warned.

Skye sat in a chair like she belonged there, "Ok so our idea was this. We're going to use you all in our musicals!"

"Yup! It's gonna be super fun! Trust us." Amaya said, looking them all over.

"Sure, might as well." Ulquiorra shrugged.

"The question is... what show first?" Skye rubbed her hands together maniacally.

"Well, what ones do we wanna do?" Amaya asked, "We definitely have to do Into The Woods and The Phantom Of The Opera."

Skye went over to Nnoitora and grabbed his face in her hands and looked him over, "Grease as well."

"How about Hairspray." Amaya suggested, looking at Grimmjow's hair.

"Good one!" Skye found a red cape on one of the tables, she twirled it and covered half her face with it, "What about the Scarlet Pimpernel?"

"Ah! I love that show! Sing swing savor the sting! As she severs you, Madame Guillotine!" Amaya sang. "Oh, and we need to do Beauty in the Beast! It's a favorite."

"Classic. Oh and Wicked. It's a musical all about my mother!"

"Oh, totally! I wanna be Glinda!" Amaya agreed, "And we can decide on others as we go."

"Right."

"If i may," Aizen said entering the room, "What is going on?"

"We're gonna do some musicals! Wanna join us this time?" Amaya asked.

"Ooh! Musicals! I love a good musical! I would love to join! Gin, Tousen! You get to join in too!" Aizen ordered.

"Great! The more the merrier!" Amaya clapped her hands gleefully.

Skye bounced in her seat, "I ish so excited!"

"This is going to be so much fun! What should we do first?" Amaya asked.

Skye thought, then glanced around the room, "Into the woods it's time to go i hate to leave i have to though. into the woods it's time and so I must begin my journey!" Skye sang.

"Into The Woods it is!" Amaya cheered, "Now let's get started!"


	2. Into the Woods

**Here is chapter 2... Finally. Anyway, enjoy the Espada production of Into The Woods!**

**Fyi: We are well aware that the process of this is very inaccurate to the actual play process, but we have to change it for the sake of the story.**

Disclaimer: Neither Skye or I own Bleach nor do either of us own Into The Woods. 

Amaya went and hung up a huge poster on the wall. It was the cast list for their first play.

_Into The Woods cast list:_

_Grimmjow- Baker_

_Amaya- Baker's wife_

_Skye- Witch_

_Halibel- Rapunzel _

_Sun-Sun- Cinderella_

_Aeroneiro- Cinderella's Father_

_Charlotte Cuuhlhourne-Stepmother_

_Menoly- Florinda_

_Loly- Lucinda_

_Ulquiorra- Rapunzel's prince_

_Nnoitora- Cinderella's prince_

_Tesla- Steward _

_(Little) Nel- Little red riding hood_

_Szayel- Little Red's Grandmother_

_Yami- Wolf_

_Luppi- Jack_

_Barragan- Jack's Mother_

_Aizen- Narrator_

_Cirucci Thunderwitch- Giant_

"What the hell!?" Grimmjow demanded, "Why am I the baker!?"

"Hey, it's one of the main rolls." Amaya scolded, hands on her hips.

"Why am I a woman?" Barragan asked in a tone that bordered on murderous.

"In Shakespearian times, men always played women," Skye explained, "it was a great honor." She looked at Amaya and mouthed, "Not really."

"Indeed." Amaya nodded, "Now let's get started." She ordered.

Skye jumped up and down chanting, "I'm the witch!"

Grimmjow crossed his arms, "You were already a witch..."

"I wouldn't be saying that, Grimmy dear, I get to hit you in the place where the sun don't shine in the play." Skye grinned mercilessly. Grimmjow hunched over slightly and backed off.

Skye huffed, "That's what I thought, Popsicle."

"For the last time! Let's start practicing!" Amaya fumed and everyone backed away from her slightly, more than a bit afraid in most cases.

"Alright. Let's get this over with." Grimmjow said, burying his hands in his pockets and storming up onto the stage, a script in hand.

"That's the spirit!" Skye sang.

"Okay people, let's take it from the top!" Amaya ordered.

"The top of what?" Nnoitora asked, looking confused.

"The begining of the musical, you idiots!"

"Ooh..."

"Someone's a bit testy." Grimm whispered to Skye.

"I heard that, Grimm!"

"Let's just make sure the spotlight is on moi!" Skye said, striking a pose.

"Skye, you're not the main character here..." Amaya reminded her.

"Yeah, Diva!" Nnoitora scoffed.

"Shut up! I'm still a real witch you know!" She pointed her witch staff prop at him, "I could turn you into stone! or a dog! or a chair!" She recited

"Skye," Amaya said.

"Yes?" Skye replied.

"Stop being so diva-ish."

Skye was about to retort, but decided not to, "Just start the music!"

"Aizen, you're up first!" Amaya said, pulling out three books.

He nodded, then crossed the stage, slowly opening the books as he passed them, "Once upon a time!" He started and the music began.

"I wish" Sunsun sang

"In a far off kingdom..." Aizen continued, still speaking.

Sunsun kept on singing, "More than anything!"

"Lived a fair maiden," The narrator read.

Sunsun, playing Cinderella continued, "More than jewels..."

The light opened up onto Luppi, playing Jack, and Barragan, Jack's Mother. The narrator continued, "A sad young lad."

Luppi began singing, "I wish..."

"Their actually pretty good at singing." Amaya commented to Skye before her part started.

"And a childless baker." Aizen continued.

"More than life..." Luppi sang.

"I wish..." Sunsun and Grimmjow the baker added.

Aizen continued to read through the story, "With his wife." The light shone on Amaya at Grimmjow's side, looking sad.

Luppi sang on, "More than anything..."

Grimmjow, Sunsun and Luppi trioed, "More than the moon."

Then everyone who was not on stage turned to Amaya to finally hear her voice, "I wish..."

Sunsun's line came next, "The King is giving a festival!"

Grimmjow and Amaya sang together "More than life..."

"I wish..." Luppi sang yet again.

"I wish to go to the festival" Warbled Sunsun.

And the song went on until Skye finally had her turn.

Grimmjow turned and Amaya, playing his wife, croweded closer, "It's the witch from next door!"

Amaya pleaded, "We have no bread!"

"Of course you have no bread!" Skye spat, "Nothing cooking in there now either, is there!" She jabbed her stick at Amaya's stomach.

Aizen spoke his next line, "The old enchantress told the couple she had placed a spell on their house."

"What spell?" Grimmjow asked.

Skye leaned on her stick and faced the audience, "In the past, when you mother was with child, she developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at m beautiful garden and told you father that what she wanted more than anything in the world was," She paused then began her song, "Greens, greens and nothing but greens:

Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,

Asparagus and watercress and

Fiddleferns and lettuce-!

He said, "All right,"

But it wasn't, quite,

'Cause I caught him in the autumn

In my garden one night!

He was robbing me,

Raping me,

Rooting through my rutabaga,

Raiding my arugula and

Ripping up my rampion

(My champion! My favorite!)-

I should have laid a spell on him

Right there,

Could have changed him into stone

Or a dog or a chair...

But I let him have the rampion-

I'd lots to spare.

In return, however,

I said, "Fair is fair:

You can let me have the baby

That your wife will bear.

And we'll call it square."

Grimmjow leaned in closer, "I- I had a brother?"

Skye whirled around to face him, "No!!! But. You had a sister."

"But the witch refused to tell him anymore of his sister. Not even that her name was Rapunzel." Aizen said, his tone a tad bit mournful.

Skye continued, "I thought i had been more than resonable. But how was i to know what your father had also hidden in his pocket?!"

"What?" Grimmjow inquired.

Skye jumped at them, "Beans!"

Both Amaya and Grimm recoiled, "Beans?"

Skye sang again, "The special beans.

I let him go,

I didn't know

He'd stolen my beans!

I was watching him crawl,

Back over the wall-!

Then bang! Crash!

And the lightning flash!

And- well, that's another story,

Never mind-" She continued really fast, "Anyway, at last

The big day came,

And I made my claim.

"Oh, don't take away the baby,"

They shrieked and screeched,

But I did,

And I hid her

Where she'll never be reached.

And your father cried,

And your mother died

When for extra measure-

I admit it was a pleasure-

I said, "Sorry,

I'm still not mollified."

And I laid little spell on them-

You, too, son-" She took her staff and whacked Grimmjow where the sun does not shine, he fell to his knees, "That your family tree, would always be a barren one." She laughed wickedly.

"So there's no more fuss

And there's no more scenes

And my garden thrives-

You should see my nectarines!

But I'm telling you the same

I tell kings and queens:

Don't ever never ever

Mess around with my greens!

Especially the beans." She froze with Grimmjow and Amaya as the others offstage applauded.

The song continued back to Sunsun, where her evil stepmother, Charlotte Cuuhlhourne (the transvestite who fought Yumichika), and the evil step sisters, Menoly (Florinda) and Loly (Lucinda) where taunting Sunsun.

"The Festival-!

Darling, those nails!

Darling, those clothes!

Lentils are one thing but

Darling, with those,

You'd make us the fools of the Festival

And mortify the Prince!" Charlotte, the stepmother sang.

Leaving Sunsun standing alone, the three of them, and Cinderella's father, played by Aeroniero crossed to stage left while Amaya and the Baker where talking and crossing to stage right. Loly and Menoly where thrown out of step and collided with Amaya and Grimmjow and the four of them tumbled down the stairs on the stage. The music stopped.

From backstage, Skye could be heard cursing, "How unprofessional."

Amaya on the other hand, freaked out.

"What are you doing!?" She yelled at them and continued to spazz at them.

"Umm, I think that someone needs to lie down a bit." Grimmjow said cautiously. "Skye!" he looked pleadingly at her.

Skye came out on stage, "Amaya, relax. It's only first rehearsal. This will happen when you work with... amateurs." She spat the word.

Amaya took a deep breath. Then another. And another before she was calm... at least a bit. "I guess you're right. Such experienced actresses such as ourselves have to suffer sometimes." Amaya grinned. Loly and Menoly glared daggers at the both of them before storming off.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Skye and Amaya rolled their eyes at the twos antics.

"Whatever," Skye said, "Let's just move on. Ulquiorra, Nnoitora! Let's work on 'Agony'!"

Amaya perked up immediately "Yes!"

Ulquiorra and Nnoitora took their places on opposite sides of the stage. The music began and Rupunzel's Prince (Ulquiorra) ran on stage, stopping in the center. Cinderella's Prince, taking a break from his search for Cinderella, Nnoitora stopped beside Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra began, "Good brother, Father and i had wondered where you'd gone."

"I have been looking all night," Nnoitora said, "For her."

"Her?"

"The beautiful one i danced the evening with." Nnoitora stared out over the audience, lost in thought.

Ulquiorra inclined his head, "Where did she go?"

Nnoitora looked sad, "She disappeared. Like the fine morning mist."

"She was lovely..."

"The loveliest."

Ulquiorra shook his head and wagged his finger at the other Espada, "I'm not so sure of that. I must confess that i too have found a lovely maiden. She lives here, in the woods."

"The woods?" Nnoitora asked skeptically.

"Yes. In the top of a tall tower that has no door or stairs..." He pointed to show a sense of direction towards Rupunzel's tower.

"Where?"

"Two leagues from here, due east."

"So," Nnoitora laughed at his co-stars rediculousness, "How do you manage a visit?"

"Oh." Ulquiorra came forward, "I stand beneath her tower and i say 'Rupunzel, Rupunzel, let down you hair to me!' and then she lets down the longest most beautiful head of hair. Yellow as corn, which i climb to her."

Nnoitora burst into hysterics, "Rupunzel? What kind of name is that? You jest! I've never heard of such a thing!"

Ulquiorra came back to Nnoitora's side, "I speak the truth. She is as true as your maiden. One running from a prince? None would run from us!"

Nnoitora looked saddened, "Yet one has..." The music began, "Did I abuse her

Or show her disdain?

Why does she run from me?

If I should lose her,

How shall I regain

The heart she has won from me?

Agony!

Beyond power of speech,

When the one thing you want

Is the only thing out of your reach."

Ulquiorra began singing then, "High in her tower,

She sits by the hour,

Maintaining her hair.

Blithe and becoming and frequently humming

A lighthearted air:

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-

Agony!

Far more painful than yours,

When you know she would go with you

If there only were doors."

The both of them sang together, "Agony! Oh, the torture they teach!"

Ulquiorra alone sang, "What's as intriguing-"

Nnoitora cuts in, "Or half so fatiguing-"

Then together, "As what's out of reach?"

Nnoitora then proceeded to sing, "Am I not sensitive,

Clever,

Well-mannered,

Considerate,

Passionate,

Charming,

As kind as I'm handsome

And heir to a throne?"

Ulquiorra turned to him, "You are everything maidens could wish for!"

Nnoitora looked as his feet, "Then why no-"

Ulquiorra butts in, "Do i know?"

"The girl must be mad."

Ulquiorra held his head up high, "You know nothing of madness

Till you're climbing her hair

And you see her up there

AS you're nearing her,

All the while hearing her:

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-"

In unison, "Agony!"

Nnoitora: "Misery!"

Ulquiorra: "Woe!"

Both: "Though it's different for each..."

The switched positions on stage, facing away from each other.

Nnoitora sang, "Always ten steps behind-"

Ulquiorra then sang, "Always ten feet below-"

They then both turned to face the audience, "And she's just out of reach. Agony! That can cut like a knife," At this they placed their fists over their hearts to indicate being stabbed, "I must have her.... to wife!"

The music ended and there was utter silence for a good 30 seconds before the whole room burst into applauses and laughter.

"Well Ulquiorra. I didn't think you had it in you to sing. Or dance. Or show emotion, really." Amaya laughed. Ulquiorra said nothing as he exited the stage.

"So true!" Skye laughed even harder.

"What now?" asked Amaya, who had calmed down more.

"Let's go over Any Moment." Skye suggested.

"Must we?" Amaya asked.

"Yes." Skye nodded.

"Aww..."

"Amaya, Nnoitora! You are up!" Skye pointed to the stage. They both reluctantly climbed onto it.

"This is going to be soooo awkward." Amaya said under her breath.

"Anything can happen in the woods." Nnoitora began to sing, "May I kiss you-?" He turned to Amaya, who backed up a step. Nnoitora turned from her and back to the front, "Any moment we could be crushed."

"Uh-" Amaya looked nervously around and Nnoitora approached for the first kiss of the song. Just as he was leaning in, even though she knew it was a stage kiss, Amaya went beserk. "Get away from me you creeper!" She punched him in the stomach, kneed him you-know-where, threw him over her shoulder into the wall, and then cast the curse on him that makes him puke up slugs.

"Amaya!" Skye yelled, "It's only a stage kiss!"

"Riiiiigh. I knew that." Amaya looked away, laughing nervously and Skye hit her own forehead in exasperation.

"Now we can't do the scene!" She yelled.

"Let's do another one then." Amaya suggested.

"What do you propose then?" Skye demanded.

"Let's work on not songs." Amaya suggested.

"Alright, Nel, Grimmjow, let's do the cape scene!" Amaya commanded.

They were both on stage and Grimmjow was watching Nel skip by.

Skye ran up behind him, "That's the cape!"

He jumped, "You frightened me!"

"Get the cape! Get it. Get it! GET IT!"

"How am i supposed to get it?"

"You go up to the little thing, and you take it!" She leaves.

Grimmjow goes up to Little Red and takes the cape off her shoulders.

"I don't like to be without my cape, please give it back..."

Grimmjow takes one last look at her, then takes off.

Nel bursts into hysterical crying.

Grimmjow appears back on stage, looking sympathetic, he looks at the girl, then the cape, sighs, and walks back over. He puts the cape back on her shoulder and in a monotone voice that showed no emotion at all he said, "I just wanted to make sure you really loved this cape. Now you go to your grandmother's house and make sure that no wolf comes your way..."

Little Nel whirls around, suddenly angry, "I'd rather a wolf than you anyday!" And she stomps on his foot. Grimmjow doubles over in pain.

"Alright. Cut!" Amaya yelled.

Grimmjow looked at her, "I thought you said she was going to miss my foot, like staged violence!"

"Oops..." Amaya shrugged, "I forgot to mention it to her."

"Let's work on the giant scene." Skye said.

"You just want stage time!" Grimmjow snapped.

"Oh shut up! You're on stage too!"

"Oh..."

"Mind you this is Act II people!" Amaya shouted, "The evil stepsisters are blind in this act!"

"We got that already!" Menoly and Loly scoffed.

Once everyone was set: Grimmjow (baker), Amaya (baker's wife), Charlotte (Stepmother), Loly (Lucinda), Menoly (Florinda), Aeroneiro (Cinderella's Father), Tesla (Prince's steward), SunSun (Cinderella), Little Nel (Playing Little Red Riding Hood), and Skye (Witch), Aizen (Narrator) and Cirucci Thunderwitch (playing the voice of the Giant) who was backstage, they were ready to begin.

The ground rumbled with fake giant footsteps. The groups stumbled around and fell as the footsteps continued.

The bunch looked terrified, all except Skye.

Skye, standing separate from the group stared up, as if looking up at a giant, "The giant's a woman?"

Cirucci's voice thundered, "Where is the lad who killed my husband?!"

Tesla, the steward, came forward, "There is no lad here!"

Grimmjow, the baker also reluctantly stepped forward, "We haven't seen him!"

The Giant thundered again, "I want the lad who climbed the beanstalk."

Skye waved, "We'll get him for you right away!" She turned the walk back, but turned back to the giant, "Don't. Move."

Little Nel, playing little red riding hood came forward angrily., "It was you who destroyed our house! It's your fault i have no mother!"

The baker's wife, Amaya, grabbed her and pulled her back to the clump.

"And who destroyed my house?!" Cirucci roared, "That boy asked for shelter, then he stole our gold and our hen and our hearts! And then he killed my husband. I must avenge the wrong doing!"

"Well we are not responsible for him!" Amaya shouted.

"You're wasting your breath," Skye sighed.

Tesla came up beside Amaya, "You're right. You can't reason with a DUMB giant."

"Rrrrr!" The ground trembled in rage, "Not all giants are dumb! Give me the boy!"

Nel shouted, "We told you, he's not here!"

Charlotte, the step mother spoke, "She's telling the truth."

"I know he's there," Cirucci said, "And I'm going to wait right here until he is delivered to me."

The spotlight shone on Aizen, the narrator, the rest of the cast turned an looked at him, "You see, the giant, who was near sighted, was convinced that she'd found the lad. There was no consensuses between as to what course of action to take."

Amaya came up to Skye, "Put a spell on her!"

"I no longer have my powers," She replied, "If I was, do you think I'd be standing here with all of you? Now, we'll have to give her someone... but who?" She pondered, then looked at Tesla, "The steward. It's in his line of duty to sacrifice his life!"

Tesla backed away from Skye, "Don't be ridiculous! I'm not giving up my life for anybody!"

"I'm waiting!" The giant roared.

"Now you must understand," The Narrator said, "These people were not familiar with making choices. Their past experiences in the woods had, in no way, prepared them to deal with a force this great."

Skye stepped forward, "Excuse me, but would you like a blind girl instead?"

Menoly and Loly shrieked, and the stepmother stepped forward, "How dare you!"

"Put them out of their misery!" Skye replied.

"We're not that miserable!" The girls said in unison.

"She doesn't want a woman," Amaya said.

"Fine. Then what do you suppose we do?" Skye snapped.

"I'm still waiting!" The giant thundered.

Aizen continued to narrate, "It is interesting predicament in which the setting is in now, because in now, stories such as these-" He is cut off when Skye, the witch, pulls him center stage into the rest of the cast.

"I tell the story, I'm not part of it!" He snapped.

"That's right!" Little Nel said evilly.

"Not one of us!" Charlotte grinned.

"You're always on the outside..." Grimmjow said, tying him up with a rope.

"B-but t-that's my role!" Aizen pleaded, "You don't understand! There must always be someone on the outside..."

"You're going to be on the inside now!" Tesla mocked.

"You're making a bit mistake!"

"Nonsense," The stepmother said, holding up a knife with little red.

"Oh! You must understand! There must always be and observer to pass the story along..."

"Some of us don't like the way you've been telling it!" Skye said with an evil manic smile.

"But if you get rid of me you'll never know how the story ends! You'll be lost!" The crowd begins to drag him towards the giant, all except Skye who stayed behind. Aizen looked pleadingly at her.

"Wait!" Grimmjow cried, "He's the only one that knows the story!"

"Do you think it's going to be fun to have to tell it yourselves?" Aizen said, "Think of your baby." He said to Grimmjow and Amaya.

As Grimmjow and Amaya looked over their baby (who was played by a baby doll) Skye crossed to the other side of the stage where the mob was still trying to drag Aizen away.

Amaya stepped forward, "Stop! He's right. Let him go."

The mob untied the rope.

"Put that away!" Amaya ordered Little Red Riding Hood with her knife.

Aizen adjusted his clothes so they were wrinkle free, "That's better. You don't want to live in a world of chaos." He turned to the audience, oblivious of Skye coming up behind him, "There must always be-" He was cut off when Skye grabbed him from behind and pushed him in the giant's direction.

"Here is the lad!"

"I'm not the lad!!" Aizen yelped.

There was a pause then Cirucci thundered, "This is not the lad!"

The music trilled and everyone's head moved from left to right, indicating that the giant had thrown Aizen, therefore killing. There was a boom at the end and everyone hid there face from the sight, all except Skye. ((Though Amaya was secretly smiling. Hiding it behind her hand.)) No one could contain their laughter and they all burst at the thought of Aizen's death and how it happened. Skye too collapsed in laughter on the stage. Aizen came out from backstage, arms crossed, looking extremely P/Oed.

"What's so funny?" He demanded, arms crossed, looking cross.

"Cirucci, you should have actually thrown him!" Grimm said amongst his laughter.

Cirucci came out from behind the curtain, shrugging, "I guess. But how was my acting?"

"Perfect." Skye said, behind a false smile. 'God i hate her.' She thought to herself.

The continued to practice diligently and soon it was time for the opening night... sort of. It was really just whatever arrancars that was bored out of their mind enough to watch the show that made up the audience.

"Okay people! Are we ready!" Skye asked the crowd, extremely pumped. She got various reactions from that question.

"Wait." Luppi interjected, "Where's Sunsun?"

"We can't find Cinderella." Grimmjow said.

"It doesn't matter, we haven't come to that scene yet." Skye brushed him off.

"No, we literally can't find Cinderella."

"Crap."

And then the play could not go on because they needed to find Cinderella. How ironic. But that's another story.

**Wow... this was really long. I have no idea what the others are going to look like, but probably like this. Next is an omake chapter: The search for Sunsun.**


End file.

Bleach, Humor, Parody