Harry Potter 1. Journal

_Dear Journal,_

_This will probably be the last entry that I write. I wish that it was for better reasons. I'm sorry for the tear drops on the page, but I can't control them. Tonight will be the last night that I live... I know that it sounds dramatic, but I just can't live anymore- there's no reason. My friends are never here for me anymore, Ginny is the only one I have, and ever since she's been seeing Harry there's been less and less of her. And with Ron, he's seeing Pavarati, and I don't feel like talking about that. People are saying that after second year, I stopped being such a book worm- that I actually was among the kids around me- but this year I'm spending more and more time in the library. I can't blame anyone for not wanting to be with me, what am I? Harry and Ron have their girlfriends, Ginny is always with Harry, and I never relly meshed with anyone else in my year. I think that I was getting on Harry's and Ron's nerves just being with them, because there were so many rumors that we were doing a threesome or whatever. That would of been better then how we are now. Harry and Ron are closer then ever- but I'm just thrown behind._

_Today is December 24th, my 6th year... I am hoping that my friends miss me, not that they remember me. They even forgot my birthday this year, they didn't even talk to me on my birthday. I heard Harry and Ron talking in the common room late last night, it was pretty sad. Dean walked by and asked what they got me for Christmas... Needless to say they forgot._

_We're having a Yule Ball again this year, like the last 2 years, it's going on right now. I wasn't surprised that I wasn't asked, but now I'm grateful for it. It gives me the time I need. You are probably think that I am psyhco, but this has gone on for too long. Ever sicne the beginning of 5th year, the guys have forgotten me, excluded me and used me. At home, my parents opened a new office, so it's not like I have them around me. And, now I have no friends. No friends, no family, no life... No hope. _

_This is where I leave you now, this journal full of all my past memories... I read the first entry, right after the train incident in first year, where I wrote when I first met the guys, and then with the troll incident *I know that we'll be friends forever now,* friends till the end... And it ends here.  
Sincerely yours,  
Hermione Elizabeth Granger._


	2. Ron's Letter

"Hey Harry," Ron greeted as he walked over from the dance floor to where his best friend was. He had been dancing with his date (and girlfriend) Pavarati for almost 2 and a half hours straight. Although he ahs gotten tired a long time before, he couldn't tear himself away.  
"Having fun?" He asked as he passed him a butterbeer. Harry himself had been chatting with Ginny for a half an hour, his steady girlfriend of one year, and now she was off in the powder room *fixing herself up*.  
"Yeah, I like the music." He sat down and started thinking to himself. He and Pavarati had been going out for about a year, amazing enough, and they we're pretty steady... _Oh no!_ He thought to himself_ her present!!_ He told Harry he had to go and ran back to Gryffindor tower. 

"Tickled pink," he said to the Fat Lady and then climbed in the portrait hole. He ran up the stair to his dorm and grabbed her present from his trunk, but as he closed it, he saw a letter stuck on the front. It was in a small envelope, in cursive writing was _For My Friend Ron_ and beneath it, it said _I'm sorry_ he sat on his bed and ripped open the letter, he read it fast and horror struck him, he jumped over his bed to Harry's trunk and saw a smiliar envelope and read his letter quickly, it was almost the same as his. He didn't stop to think before he forgot about the ball and ran towards the 6th year girls dorm, Hermiones dorm. 

On the floor, the letter softly landed, and it read:__

_Ron,  
I'm sorry that I wasn't a great friend that you wanted. And I'm sorry that I was so rude to you so many times. I don't know how you put up with me, as I can't see how I put up with myself. I know that you never felt that I was as close a friend as Harry, but I truly did enjoy being your friend. I'm giving Harry a letter that says the same thing, but there's something that his doesn't say..._

_I love you, Ron, I don't know why, or how but I do. I'm sorry that I made you and Harry hate me so, but as much as I tried, I couldn't stop loving you. Even now, as you ignore me and exclude me, I still love you. I won't forget you Ron, but I'm sorry that my life has to come to and end for me to tell you. But I do, I do love you Ron, and I always will.  
Sincerely Yours,  
Hermione Elizabeth Granger._


	3. Cloak Covered Tears

Sincerly Yours,  
Taya J Weasley, The Author 

Ron didn't even care about the people he pushed out of the wayin the common room, even if they were little kids. He ran faster then he thought his legs could carry him up the stairs, annd burst into the 6th year girls dormitory. He ran around the other beds to Hermoine's, he stood shocked for a second, before he broke down and cried.  
He stood over Hermione's lifeless body, his tears falling onto her face. He kneeled next to her upper body, his hands hovering over her as if scared to touch, but he finally rested his hand on her cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb. He took her head in his lap, and just smoothed her hair down, and that's when he saw her wrists, she sliced them both, right on the main veins.  
"No!" He took her writs in his hands, and just looked at them, tears dripping on the drying blood. "Hermione..." He mumbled as he held her cold hand to his face. "No...no...no" he kept repeating it again and again. Until he finally shouted out loud. "Why?! Why?!" And he totally broke down. He hit the bed post to his left with his free hand, nad then went back to Hermione. He croushed over and kissed her cheek, "I'm so sorry." 

~*~*~*~*~ 

"Harry, do you know where Ron went?" Pavarati walked up to Harry by the drink table almost a half an hour later.  
"Erm- actually, I'm not, sure..." She tutted.  
"Well- if you see him, tell him I got tired of waiting and I am heading up to bed." She said it with an icy tone in her voice. "Good night Harry."  
"G'night Pavarati." Harry just smiled and turned away. "What does he see in that girl," he mumbled to himself. 

~*~*~*~*~ 

"Yeah can you believe it? He just left me there, alone!" Pavarati and and Lavender decided that it was time to turn in from the ball, and headed up to their shared dorm. "I mean, what could he possibly be doing better then dancing with his girlfriend?" When they walked in, they saw a horrifying sight.  
"Ron?!" Pavarati almost screamed that a boy was in the dorm, even if it was Ron.  
"Go get Dumbledore." He said in a raspy voice.  
"But-"  
"Just get out of here Pavarati go!" He yelled firmly, never turning to face them. The obviously hadn't seen Hermione's body, which is why they were so hesitant.  
"But Ron-"  
"Fine! Then get out of my way!" And he carefully hoisted up her body into his arms and left. Before leaving, he decided to grab Harry's cloak, so that not all of the 1-3rd years would see her, no one should see her like that. He took her in his arms again and, with some trouble, covered them with the cloak and headed walked cautiously. On his way out, he saw Harry being swamped by cries of Pavarait and Lavender.  
"He was horrible!"  
"He was rude!" They said at once. As he passed by, he kicked him twice in the foot, and wispered 'come on.' Harry excused himself and left quickly with Ron. 

"Ron? Are you there?"  
"Are most people back in the commong room?"  
"Yea, Dumbledore's already sent everyone back, we'll be in so much trouble if we're caught out, where are you going?! And with my cloak!"  
"Take it off Harry," and Harry slowly pulled off the cloak.  
"Oh my god, Hermione..." His hand hovered over her face as Ron's did earlier. "What..?" Ron showed her wrist to him. "When did she do this?" Two tears fell down is cheek.  
"While we were at the ball, but I found a letter she left for me when I came back to get Pavarati's gift." He paused and sped up towards the hospital wing. "How could we of been so stupid Harry?!" They walked in silence until they got there, and Ron didn't bother being quiet, he almost kicked the door down. 

"Mr Weasley! This is no place for-" Madame Promfrey was shocked at the body in the boys arms, "place her here! Hurry!" She motioned to a bed, "Mr. Potter, go fetch Dumbledore, quickly, candy cane." Harry figured that was the password, and he ran off.  
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Madame Promfrey said as she put up curtains around her patient.  
"I'm not leaving." Ron said as he sat next to the body of his best friend, and helf her hand.  
"Really Mr-"  
"I am NOT leaving." His eyes never left her face.  
"Then I must ask you to move away."  
"I've left her alone enough!" He almost shouted through his tears, "I am not leaving her again." 

End 

Okay, hows that?? Yes? No? Review!!!  
~Taya J Weasley, The Author 


	4. The Heart Shaped Locket

Sincerely Yours,  
Taya J Weasley, The Author 

Authors Note: Sorry for the little mix up last chapter people! It's not through yet! Hehe, once again- this is for my lil chiqa Allie! Hehe 

  
  
It has been nearly 6 hours since Ron had found Hermione in her dorm, wrists cut. It's been 6 hours since he held his best friend's lifeless body in his arms. And it had been 6 hours since he realized how much Hermione had meant in his life. Ron hadn't left when Madame Pomfrey tried the first time, or the second, or the third. He had kept to his word and not left her since he sat down. Even when Dumbledore came in, and tried to coax him out of the hospital wing, he didn't budge. Harry understood that Ron wouldn't leave, so for 3 and a half hours he sat there, just watching Hermione with Ron, each in their own thoughts. Although Ron finally made Harry leave hours earlier,Ron still felt that someone was watching him, and he finally found out that it was his guilt.   
Although it was true that Ron and Harry had left Hermione out of their lives for so long, there were many reasons. They had decided between themselves, that it was never a good idea to get her involved with them because of Voldemorts once a year appearences. Also, because Ron couldn't stand to be around her anymore. It wasn't that he hated her, quite the contrary, it was because he loved her, which went hand in hand for keeping her away from danger. Ever since the near beginning of second year he started liking her- but he passed it for a silly crush. But in late third year, he noticed how much he had learned to care for her. He never really thought twice when he tried to protect her from danger, it just settled in as second nature.  
This year had been so busy, busy taking all precautions against Voldemorts return with Dumbledore. They had told Dumbledore specifically not to inculde Hemerione in any business dealing with the ministry oor the return of Voldemort. Last year, the first year he was back to power, Hermione was put into a deep coma by one death eater, and that's when Ron said firmly Hermoine was no longer allowed any where near danger- which meant he and Harry. 

Now here he sat- holding Hermione's hand, their fingers intertwined. _All I wanted to do was protect you,_ he thought,_ and now I've killed you. _He walked to the window and back- just to watch the first of the sun's rays to hit the crisk morning sky. He walked back, but before he sat down, he noticed something shine around Hermione's neck. He leaned in slowly, and pulled a necklace from around her neck. He slowly turned it around and unhooked it, and found there was a locket in the chape on a heart on the end of it. He opened it as he raised it to his face as he sat down. Inside was a few words, on one side, and Ron's picture on the other.**__**

**_As long as the stars shine down from the heavens,_** **_  
As long as the rivers run to the sea-_** **_  
I'll never get over you, getting over me_**

Ron held it in his palm, until he finally snapped it shut and just looked at Hermione's face. He picked up her hand once again, and leaned over her, his face mere inches away from her.  
"I'm so sorry Hermione... I never meant for this to happen." He stroked her face with his free hand, and smiled, "god knows I've always love you 'Mione, and nothing can change that." His smile slowly faded. "But I think I love you too much, I can't stand you to be near me anymore, I can't have the risk of you getting hurt. I know that I said we'd awlays be best friend, but I thought I was saving your life when I didn't have anything to do with you anymore... But it seems here I am killing you." He sighed softly, "Harry felt the same way too, we can't risk you getting killed or hurt, so we thought it was best... I think we went about it the wrong way. I'll always love you Hermione." He slowly leaned down and kissed her cold lips, then pulled away and brushed her hair back neatly. "I'll **_always_** love you, never doubt it."  
"Ron," a voice whispered quietly from the door, "it's time to get ready for classes." It was Harry.  
"One minute Harry," harry nodded and backed out of the room. "I'll be back Hermione, I promise you." He kissed her hand that he was still holding, and slowly walked away. Before he left, he told Madame Pomfrey to get him the minute that she woke up, which she agreed to. "I'll keep this for myself..." And he placed the locket inside of his robes pocket- right next to Hermione's picture. 

How was that? Okay? Please review!! 


	5. Not Going Anywhere

Sincerely Yours,   
Taya J Weasley, The Author 

Ron was currently sitting in Potions class, being bored out of his mind. This was his fourth class of the day, and he was trying to focus, and not to think about how bad he wanted to be in the hospital wing with Hermione. So far, Madame Pomfrey had only told him that she wasn't dead- but in a deep sleep. And that she wouldn't wake for another week or so, but that wasn't good enough for Ron. He wanted to be there next to her, holding her hand in his, watching her in her deep slumber just wishing that-   
"Mr.. Weasley!" Snape's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up into Snape's cold eyes, and for once, he didn't care how threatening they looked. "Have you finished copying the ingredients Mr.. Weasley?" Ron didn't say anything. "Answer me, are you, or are you not done copying the ingredients?" Still nothing, the rest of the Gryffindors were ready to get points taken away from the house. "Mr.. Weasley, answer me now or leave my class room and do not return until tomorrow."  
"Yes sir." Ron said weakly, and he threw his parchment in his bag along with quill and books.  
"Where are you going?"  
"You said to leave if I did not answer you sir," Ron said sounding professional, "so I am not leaving this classroom and not returning until tomorrow's classes, sir." Snape just gapped, he didn't expect Ron to up and leave like he was.  
"Sit down." Snape said coldly.  
"But you just told me to leave sir. And I must say that-"  
"Get out!" Snape shouted, causing the whole class to jump. Ron stood there. "What are you waiting for now?!"  
"Well sir, first you said to leave then to sit and now to leave again. And I don't want to anger you by-"  
"Just get out Mr.. Weasley!" Snape shouted as loud as possible.  
"Yes sir, thank you sir." And Ron walked out of the dungeon, leaving astonished Gryffindors and Slytherins. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"What are you doing here, Mr. Weasley? Are you not supposed to be in classes?" Madame Pomfrey immediately started questioning Ron as soon as he entered the Hospital Wing.  
"Snape sent me out of classes, and the library isn't open right now. I just need to be here." And he sat back in his seat while Madame Pomfrey walked away towards the office area.   
Ron was glad to have this quiet time with Hermione, with everyone in classes, no one to run up and down the cooridoors...just him and Hermione. 

~*~*~*~**~*~*~ 

"Can you believe that Snape actually let Ron walk away?!" Seamus whispered to Harry, his new partner since Ron left.  
"I know! How weird is that?" Harry replied, cutting some ingredient for the potion. There was a knock on the dungeon door, and in walked a 7th year girl.  
"Excuse me Professor," the girl said walking up to the desk, she looked pretty confident in interrupting a class, especially Snape's. She said something in a hushed whisper, and then walked out.  
"Mr.. Potter!" Snape called. "Come here to my desk, NOW." There were whispers starting everywhere around the dungeon as Harry walked to the front. Not lowering his voice he said, "Pack your bags and leave my classroom immediately."  
"But Professor-"  
"Now Potter." And Snape gave him a meaningful glance and then returned to his icy stare. Then he knew.  
"Oh my god!" He turned to run out of the classroom, then came running back in. "Seamus, grab my stuff later!" And he ran down the halls. 

"Ron?!" Harry burst into the Hospital Wing, and searched the beds for his friend, he found him by Hermione. "Is she-?"  
"No, she just dozed off." Ron said softly, his eyes were still red and puffy, and his voice still cracked from crying. "She was awake for a few minutes, but she couldn't open her eyes enough to see me..." Just then Hermione's eyes fluttered open softly. 

"Hermione?" Harry said softly as he walked to the other side of the bed. "You okay?"  
"Eh?" She slowly forced her eyes open and saw Harry and Ron staring back at her. She gasped and tried to turn away.  
"No-" she mumbled "you can't be here...no!" She cried softly, her eyes shut tight.   
"It's okay Hermione!" Harry said softly, "we're here for you..."  
"No! You weren't here before! You can't be here now!" She said in between sobs. Ron stayed quiet while Harry tried to calm her down, when it didn't work he spoke up.  
"Shh, it's okay 'Mione, we're here. And we're not going anywhere." He slowly brushed her hair back as she quieted down. Then all of a sudden she sat up and threw her arms around Ron's neck. He rubbed her back and hugged her tight. "We're not going anywhere Hermione, we're not going anywhere." He repeated quietly. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~__

_I sit here looking at my best friends, Hermione just woke up, and this is too bizarre to believe. Ron told me why we kept her out of out lives, to protect her, and because he loved her too much to lose her. But then, he told me that he loved Parvati, and that he was over Hermione, but still couldn't see her hurt. I think that he has finally fessed up to still loving Hermione. I hope she knows that no matter what happens after this, she's still out friend, out best friend. No matter what, where not going anywhere... She's stuck with two bloody gits for the rest of her life... Not that we have a problem with it._

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**END!! MWAHAHA!!**

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****_I'm not playing this time, I think that this is a cute place to leave it, I'll probably write a single chapter after this, but that's a maybe right now. I hope you liked this! I am thinking of a sequel story called *The Healing Process* whatdya think? I think it's a good idea. See you readers later!****_

_**~Taya J Weasley, The Author**_


End file.

Harry Potter, Angst, Romance