Yu Yu Hakusho 1. Chapter 1 - Running

Author's Note: Be patient with me as I venture once again into Fan Fiction. I used to write a lot when I was younger but it was all terrible. I got this idea while commuting home one day from work, and decided to start writing. Several chapters later I wrote a nearly complete outline for the story, and now I just need your help and encouragement to make it real. Here goes!

One-time Disclaimer: I own nothing but my socks.

* * *

I had somehow never imagined myself sitting in a therapists' office. The room smelled like antiseptic, and there was only very generic and "peaceful" art on the walls; geese flying over misty lakes and all that. I had a variety of chairs to choose from in the small room, while my therapist sat in the lounger in the corner. I tried to tuck myself into the far corner of the leather sofa, with my feet tucked under my legs. He could probably deduce something from my choice of chair: far away from you, I don't want to be here.

My therapist was a strange man; sharp brown eyes behind thick glasses and hair that refused to stay flattened on the sides. He wore only grey clothing today, and seemed to fade into the background if I wasn't looking directly at him. Maybe if I didn't look at him I could pretend that I was just talking to myself in this room – nope not in therapy, just crazy.

I was so busy talking to myself in my head I missed what he said.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Dear sir, I wasn't listening to your boring and monotonous voice. Please kill me now.

"I said, what do you remember?"

A terribly innocuous questions, but one that struck to the heart of the issue, because what I remembered made no sense, no matter how many times I reviewed it in my head. I swam around in my memories for a moment, and picked a place to start.

"On September 1st, I left for California for the summer…"

_Mornings were never really my forte. At the completely unreasonable hour of four a.m., my alarm clock started chirping merrily on the nightstand. I fumbled around in the dark quickly, trying to silence it before it woke anyone up. A few moments too late, a large arm snaked its way around my waist, and I could feel warm breath on my neck._

"_Don't go…" a sleepy voice whined. I chuckled a little, and pried my fiancé's arm up just enough to slip out from underneath._

_ "You'll barely notice I'm gone," I replied with a quick kiss. "You'll be at work every day." A little more whining later he was fast asleep, and I was working my way to full wakefulness with a cup of coffee. Packing for my "business trips" was always an interesting expedition that I procrastinated starting until the morning of departure. _

_I was headed to California to fight wildfires, and anything I wanted with me had to fit into a single duffle bag and my wildfire pack. Phone charger, camera, t-shirts, socks… extra socks… extra extra socks. A Wildland firefighter can never have enough socks. Inevitably a new kid would bring only one or two pairs and manage to trip into a creek on his first day, and then spend the rest of the shift complaining._

_I twisted my hair into a tight bun at the base of my neck and secured it firmly. Extra hair ties, I reminded myself, shoving a few into both my duffle and fire pack. Hair is extremely flammable, and the smell of burning hair is very difficult to wash out. _

_I dressed in comfortable flight clothes – jeans, college sweatshirt – and checked my luggage one last time. On a whim, I tossed an old photo of me and my fiancé into my pack, and I was good to go. I looked in on my fiancé one last time, and thought about waking him for a proper goodbye. My decision was cut short by a light knock on the apartment door – my ride was waiting. Bag, jacket, boots, and out the door._

_ "Morning, Danny." I greeted my crew leader as I shut the door quietly behind me. He was a full head and shoulders taller than me, with a full red beard and slight beer belly. Every summer he managed to lose it in California, and every winter it managed to find him again. _

_ "Got enough stuff, Aria?" Being the only woman in my crew I was teased for the habits of my sex, but it was all in good fun. _

_ "Got enough gut, Danny? I'm going to start calling it 'Lassie' soon – it always runs home!" I patted his gut with a free hand, and promptly shoved my duffle into his arms. A loud guffaw came from the truck, and I groaned. "Please don't tell me…"_

_ My least favorite person leaned out of the window._

_ "Songbird! I'm suuuuuuper excited for the season! Are you?" Danny's nephew Samuel (and he insisted on being called Samuel, not Sam, which I completely ignored) was probably the least competent Wildland firefighter I had ever known. I had seen him training for his Red Card – the one that allows us to travel from state to state – and had prayed he would drop out. _

_Unfortunately, the knock-kneed, skinny-legged, chicken-winged teenager (nineteen is still a teenager) had just scraped his knuckles on the finish line and would be joining us in the dry West. He also had the incredibly awful habit of giving people nicknames they hated. For the music-related nature of my name, I was Songbird. What kind of shitty nickname is longer than your actual name? If he was lucky I would only strangle him until he passed out, and let him live._

* * *

"You don't like Samuel." The interruption was a little jarring, but I recovered.

"He's young. And he makes mistakes. I'm not fond of the combination." The therapist scribbled something on his legal pad. It made me nervous, and I twirled my hair around my finger.

"How about you tell me about the fire?"

* * *

_Fire runs faster than you could ever imagine. When it first starts it crackles along at a creeping pace, reaching from grass to leaf to twig. But then they reach ladders. Not ladders like 'oh I can't reach a light bulb', but dead trees that have fallen against other trees, big dead bushes or waxy plants at the base of a tree, or a dead pine tree whose brown needles haven't all fallen off yet. When fire reaches these fuels it leaps to the sky. Suddenly the walls and skies are only fire, and you find yourself running for your life. _

_A firefighter's boots are made to be fire-proof, with thick treaded soles and no steel toe (which could cook your toes), but that also makes them heavy. Any good firefighter will spend a good deal of time breaking in their shoes – mink oil and an oven, a hammer, whatever it takes to keep those shoes from killing you when it's time to run. And you run. The sound of a fire bearing down on you can only be compared to that of an oncoming train – it roars. And it scares the shit out of you. _

_Predictably, Samuel made the horrible mistake of buying new boots before his first summer of fires. He had probably spent an entire day trying to break them in, but it honestly takes a month or two of constant abuse to form the leather into a comfortable shape. His feet were starting to drag behind him, and his little chicken legs couldn't keep lifting the heavy boots. He was taking huge, gasping breaths, and he was falling further and further behind the group. I groaned loudly, and called ahead to Danny._

"_I've got Sam – keep going!" It goes against almost every instinct of a firefighter to leave someone behind. I could see the muscles in Danny's jaw clench as he paused for a moment. There were four other men in the group besides him and Samuel, and their eyes were wide – on the verge of panic – at the thought of the fire bearing down on them. It takes a lot to scare us, but the safety of the black was far, and the fire was picking up speed. In high winds a wildfire can go as fast as 50 mph. We can't run that fast._

"_Come on!" I screamed as I pulled on Samuel's arm. He couldn't reply – his breaths had gone from gulps to gasps. He was out of gas._

* * *

"It's a terrifying moment when you realize you might die." The therapist nodded, and scribbled on his legal pad.

* * *

_In the event that a firefighter is trapped, there is a measure of last resort. We carry a small cube at the base of the pack that can be easily removed by parachute clips. It's a little larger than a two Chipotle burritos, and very carefully inspected every year, and it is called a Fire Shelter. It essentially wraps the firefighter in fireproof tinfoil, and turns us into little burritos. When it's time for a shelter, you're out of options. _

_I ripped my pack from my back, and quickly snapped off my shelter. Sam did the same, but his hands were shaking too badly to manage the clips. I did it for him, trying to keep my voice soothing as I reminded him of his training._

"_Take the shelter and your rake, nothing else." I gave him a half-second to breathe, and we took off again. When relieved of packs, firefighters lose about 40-50lbs. The point of taking the only shelter isn't to lighten us so we can run to the black; it's to give us one or two more minutes to prep the shelter. We have to run to open ground, scrape away leaves or grasses from the shelter area, open the silver burrito, and climb in. _

_We stopped running at the wide bed of a river – perfect. It had no overhanging trees, and a gentle slope that would be easy to scrape away. Having had lots of practice – and knowing that I should practice often – I was ready in no time. Samuel was working himself into a good panic. He hadn't started digging; he was instead fumbling with the shelter, raking his nails over the protective plastic, fumbling for the easy-rip cord. Before I could scream at him to stop, he had ripped open the case, grabbed a large section of shelter, and yanked. The rending tear that followed filled me with far more horror than the oncoming fire. _

_He had ruined his shelter._

_He held the scrap in one hand, and the rest in the other. He stared from one piece to the other, and then slowly, very slowly, he looked up at me. I hesitated only a second._

"_God dammit…" I mumbled. "Come here!" He didn't move. I stomped over, grabbed his arm and hoped it left one hell of a bruise. I shoved him down onto the bare patch of soil I had dug. "Get on your belly, idiot." He squirmed in place to comply. I gave him instructions as I pulled out my own shelter. "Put your hands around your mouth, and keep your face in the dirt. That will keep some cooler air in your mouth. It's going to get hot – really hot – whatever you do, stay in the shelter. Do you hear me?" I screamed those last words, and got a quick, twitchy nod. I inspected my shelter for a moment just in case, and threw it over him. "Tuck the ends under you – that's right." The opening of the burrito opens to the ground, and is just big enough for you to climb in. It has no structure, no supports. It relies on your body to seal it against the ground, and gives you a bubble of safety. Samuel vanished under the fireproof shelter – a cocoon of silver against the soil. He would be safe if he stayed in place; a little singed around the edges, but safe. _

_Now I had to figure out what the hell to do for me. _

* * *

"You had very few options." I wanted to snap at the damn therapist and tell him to stop interrupting me.

* * *

_I had my helmet, a fire rake, and a broken shelter. My eyes snapped to the river just a few long strides away. I had no chance of surviving the fire. I had only a slightly better chance of not drowning. _

"_Drowning it is…" I dropped my rake, and the useless shelter. I went to the water, and waded into the rushing torrent of the river. Faster than I expected it ripped my feet out from under me, and I was headed feet first – thankfully – down the river. I caught a last glimpse of Sam in his burrito before I was whisked down the water. _

_My heart was beating in my eyeballs. I was traveling fast, so fast, too fast down the water. It had been an open river to start, but it was narrowing – and large rocks were coming up out of the water in dangerous proximity to my body. I didn't want to die – not like this. A firefighter killed by water, what irony. _

_I was utterly terrified. Images flashed through my head – why hadn't I woken my fiancé for a proper goodbye? _

_And then I saw it. _

_A huge looming rock in the middle of the river – it was tipped upstream, looming over the water like a granite Grim Reaper. There was no way for me to avoid it; I was at the whim of the current, and it was bearing me towards my doom. I clutched at my breast pocket for comfort – inside was the photo I had brought along at the last minute – and I didn't need to see it to feel the warm blanket of love. I would give it a shot. I took off my helmet to slim down my line, and braced my legs for the impact. I was ready._

_I slammed against the rock, but my feet held. The water pushed down on my shoulders, trying to push them downriver and into the rock, but I was holding my position. I could do this! I tried slowly, very slowly, moving a foot half an inch to one side. It held. Inch by careful inch I moved my way to the side of the rock – if I could get to where the water started to move around the rock, the current would carry me further down the river. I was going to be okay!_

_I could not have seen the dead tree coming down the river behind me._

_It crashed into me with merciless force, hitting my head and ringing me silly. I lost my footing, and it pushed me swiftly against the giant river rock. The current moving down under the rock started to pull me under, and the trauma of the tree to my head left me unable to move my arms with purpose. I moved them weakly, and clawed at the rock with a weakening grasp. The ripped down, and the water closed over my head. _

_I knew only darkness._

* * *

"Is that it?"

"That's all I remember." I almost choked on the lie.

* * *

_I was seated on a park bench. My fire gear was gone, and I was dry. I was wearing black slacks, a breezy white blouse, and delicate white sandals. My loose hair tickled my shoulders. I blinked. _

_What the hell?_


	2. Chapter 2 - In a Haze

Author's Note: Typically the past will be in italics, but I figured that would be excessively confusing for this chapter as it doesn't switch back and forth between past and present. You get a break – THIS TIME.

* * *

_What the hell happened? _I patted my pockets, looking for a phone, and I didn't seem to have a purse. I was also certain I had never owned a blouse as nice as this one. Besides the clothes I was wearing – and who the hell knew who they belonged to – I seemed to have no belongings.

The park bench was quite comfortable, and the sweet sounds of birds flitted around me through the shifting shade. I resisted the peace of my surroundings in favor of having a mental freak-out.

_Ok, no big deal, you just seem to have left a fire and arrived in a park. Currently working on the how, please stand by_. The park was quite clean, and the trees were quite healthy and tall. I was strongly reminded of Central Park in New York, only the species composite wasn't right, and the buildings peeking over the treetops were much too modern for New York.

A young man walked with purpose into the park. He was the first person I had seen so far, but he looked… a little odd. He had bright orange hair and a very square jaw. His eyes were a little small for his face, but they were intense – focused. He scanned the park with what appeared to be great focus, and stopped as soon as he saw me. We shared a locked gaze for a few moments, and I gave a tiny awkward wave. I really never knew what to do when people stared. He stared a little longer, and then slowly walked towards me on the park path. I didn't fidget – which was rare for me. With all the confidence that came with my job, it was amazing that I had almost no social skills outside of work.

He stopped a few feet up the path from me, and came no closer. I waited a moment.

"Hi?" He frowned a little, but came no closer. "I think I might be dead. Are you dead, too?"

"_Watashi wa mōshiwakearimasenga, watashi wa eigo o hanasanai_."

"Uhhhhh?" I must have looked like a complete idiot, and he gave me a pitiful little smile. I tried again.

"Can you tell me where I am?" He frowned, and I tried gesturing combined with just a few words.

"Where…here?"

"_Ā! Doko ni iru no?"_ I nodded – not that I knew what he said. "_Tōkyō._"

"WHAT." I was loud, but my inflection was flat with disbelief. I must have looked like the most pissed-off female in the history of my sex, because he jumped back a full five feet. How in the name of the heavens and earth had I traveled across an entire ocean? Hadn't I been drowning? Did I have a mental breakdown and fly myself to Japan? Why the hell would I go to Japan, of all places? I crumpled in place, folding over to place my head on my knees, and I let me arms flop at my sides. That's it, I was dead. I started to mutter to myself, which probably scared the poor Japanese boy out of his mind. He probably thought I was off my medication or something.

In the middle of my muttering he poked me in the arm, hard. I kicked him in the shin, not even bothering to sit back up.

"_Wa ̄ ! Naze anata wa watashi o ketta nodesu ka?! Soreha kizutsuku! Watashi ga shinpai shite ita!" _He hopped up and down on one foot, clutching his shin in both hands. Whoopsie – I must have kicked him pretty hard. He stopped hopping soon enough, and muttered a little to himself. I tried to look as apologetic as I could. He sighed. "_Anata ga koko ni taizai_." He pointed to me, and to the bench, and tried to look stern. I got the message – stay put. I nodded, and he walked a few feet away, pulling out a cell phone. _"Yūsuke, watashi wa kimyōna seishin-tekina chikara o motsu kōen de shōjo o mitsuketa."_ He saw me staring, pretending to listen, and walked a little further away where I couldn't hear him anymore. He talked for a little longer, and then hung up. He walked slowly back over to me, and asked a question. "_Watashinonamaeha __Kuwabara Kazuma __Desu. Onamaehanandesuka?_" I looked at him dumbly. He fumbled a bit, and then tried again. Pointing at himself, he declared "_Kuwabara."_. I blinked. He pointed at himself, "_Kuwabara," _then he pointed at me and tilted his head, waiting for my reply.

"Oh! I'm Aria."

"_Ohime Aleea?"_ He mashed all of my words together, and I simplified it.

"Aria." He repeated it, correctly this time, and I smiled. I held out my hand to shake. "Nice to meet you, Kuwabara." He bowed a little instead.

"_Oaidekiteureshīdesu, Aria."_

Not long after our fumbled introductions we were joined in the seemingly abandoned park by two others – a man with slicked-back black hair, and a woman with long red hair. No – as conversations began, and I heard the woman speak in quite a lovely baritone, I realized he was actually a man. I was thankful to have realized that _early_. I heard my name tossed around in the conversation once or twice.

I cleared my throat a little, trying to remind them that I was indeed still there. Kuwabara smiled at me, and pointed to his companions.

"_Yusuke_," the boy with black hair. "_Shuuichi."_ The girly man with red hair. I did a weak little bow instead of attempting a handshake again.

"Kuwabara says you speak English?" Shuuichi spoke my language! I gave a deep sigh of relief.

"Yes!" He looked a little startled by my enthusiasm, and I tried to act a little more normal. "I'm sorry – I'm just very confused. I just – I mean I'm not – I think something's… wrong?" Communication is not my strong suit.

Shuuichi sat down next to me on the bench, speaking quietly in Japanese to Yusuke and Kuwabara, before addressing me.

"Take a deep breath, Aria. What's the last thing you remember?" I tried to calm myself, allowing my mind to wander back, and I tried to recount it as I remembered it.

"I was in California… the fire got out of control, so my crew ran. Sam couldn't run any further, so we stopped to take shelter. He ripped his shelter, so I gave him mine, and then I jumped into the river. I was carried downstream, and a tree pinned me against a rock…" I looked into Shuuichi's incredibly green eyes. "I think I drowned, but then I was here."

I looked away, overcome with the very sudden sense of loss. I couldn't be dead – things felt too real here – right? My thoughts lurched to my fiancé – oh god – did he think I was dead? Did someone call him and tell him I was dead? I needed a cell phone – _now._

"Give me your phone." I said it much more calmly than I felt.

"I'm sorry?" I looked at Shuuichi, and he seemed confused.

"Your cell phone, give it to me. I need to call someone." He frowned, and glanced behind me. A tickle on the back of my neck made me jump up from the bench and spin sharply – someone was standing just a few feet behind where I had been sitting. He looked nothing like the other men.

He was dressed in all black – from neck to ankles, even though it was a warm day – with a white scarf, and white headband. He had wild black hair, streaked at the front with white, and… my breath caught in my throat. I could usually see when someone was wearing colored contacts – the size of the iris wasn't right, and the color is flat – but this man was not wearing contacts. His red eyes sizzled at my watery blue, and seemed to darken the longer he glared at me.

This man was very intimidating. Unconsciously, I shifted into a safer stance. Ten years of martial arts training had given me at least the knowledge of when someone meant to do me harm, and I felt like I was about to find out if I could defend myself.

At the same time I realized I was alone in a strange park with four strange men I also realized I was basically surrounded. Had they meant to do that? In response to my change into a defensive position the three normal (I certainly hoped) shifted as well. I was definitely surrounded.

"I'm leaving now." I glanced quickly at Shuuichi, then at the others. I didn't ask for permission, I just stated it very clearly. Shuuichi sighed, but did not change the aggression in his stance.

"I'm afraid we can't allow that." The man in black rushed at me with incredible speed, his arm raised over his head with a – was that a katana? A reflex kicked in, as there is a specific block to deflect someone with a katana when you don't have one. With a muscle memory I didn't think still remained I grabbed his arm as he raised the sword, throwing him to one side. I turned my body as he hit the ground, rolled, and stood.

The level of tension in the air skyrocketed. Every hair on my body stood on end, and none of the normal men were looking at me anymore. They were staring at the man in black. His eyes narrowed to slits, and he _snarled_ at me.

Oh. _Crap_.

Shuuichi took a very slow step towards the man in black.

"Hiei, _don't_-!"

He vanished. In a half-moment my skull split open with pain, and I blacked out.

* * *

A/N: I've never been quite thrilled with this chapter, but every time I try to cut it out the story gets weird. In case you're wondering about the park, I modeled after Shinjuku-Gyoen Park in Tokyo. I also haven't included translations for the Japanese, simply because I want you to be as confused as she is. You get the idea from the gesturing.


	3. Chapter 3 - First Dream

I came to in a sparsely furnished room. Someone must have carried me there, and was thoughtful enough to remove my shoes before laying me on the mattress – _no, _I corrected myself. _It's a Japanese futon. _It was a very small room, barely large enough for the futon and a chair by the door. There was a small window, not large enough for me to crawl out – poor fire code, there – and a glass of water with a few little pills on the windowsill.

I suddenly realized my head was pounding. I gingerly touched my head until I came across a rather nice goose-egg lump forming. _Fantastic_.

I reached for the pills on the windowsill – obviously intended for this purpose – but stopped abruptly. _There's no way to know what those pills are_, I sighed inwardly. As much as my head hurt, my inner safety freak was a stronger influence.

I stayed on the futon, cradling my head between my knees, massaging my temples, and trying to make the last few hours run straight in my mind.

I went to fight a fire in California.

The fire got out of control.

The idiot, Samuel, ruined his shelter so I gave him mine.

I jumped into a river to escape the fire.

I drowned.

I was suddenly in Japan.

…

No matter how many times I reviewed it in my head, the train of thought just never made sense! The only logical thing I could come up with jus sounded insane. _Maybe I didn't drown, woke up in a fugue state, walked to an airport, bought a ticket, and flew to Japan where I promptly bought new clothes and threw away everything else I own. _Yeah, that made total sense.

I groaned, and rubbed my temples harder.

While I was contemplating my own insanity, There was a gentle tap at the door. My head snapped up so fast I got headache-whiplash, and nearly keeled over. I managed to compose myself, and reply.

"Um, come in?" It wasn't a room I felt I had any claim on, so it felt strange that anyone was asking permission to come in.

Shuuichi opened the door but didn't enter the room, seeming to take great care in appearing docile. But I didn't buy it for a second. There are certain bodily traits you can't hide behind a mild smile. Predators are always ready to fight, and it shows in how you carry yourself. And I wasn't about to let him trick me again.

"I'm glad you're alright. I apologize for my friend – he has a short temper." He smiled benignly. I didn't return the smile.

"I noticed. Where am I?"

"I will be happy to answer your questions, after you answer mine." Shuuichi entered my tiny room, and closed the door behind him. He took a seat in the lonely chair by the door, and fixed me with his piercing emerald gaze. I shifted on the futon, feeling very vulnerable, but trying to appear confident

"Go fuck yourself." You see, I am quite the proper lady of 24, with my swearing and all. I had inherited my grandmother's vicious temper, and while it served me quite well as a female firefighter among all men, in hindsight I did not think it would serve me well in this strange place.

Shuuichi did not seem amused by my vulgar tone.

"Where are you from?" I didn't answer, and a little more kindness left his voice. "I strongly encourage you to answer my questions."

"And if I don't? I don't know you, and I _definitely_ don't trust you."

"You see-" Shuuichi leaned forward slightly in his chair. "we are in the same predicament. And we are not trusting of humans who smell like Demons."

That threw me for a loop. _Demons?_ Was this guy a lunatic?

"I'm sorry – _what_? You must be joking." He didn't reply, but appeared to examine my both confused and bemused expression. I grew increasingly uncomfortable as he continued to stare without blinking. I think he was trying to stare me down, or intimidate me into changing my story. But I honestly had no clue what he was talking about. "You're crazy."

After just a few more moments of staring, Shuuichi stood abruptly, and left the room without a word.

* * *

Shuuichi did not come back, and I was grateful for that. Whatever good vibes I had gotten from him when we first met had faded very quickly. After our strange encounter my headache had started to lessen, and I was able to stand without falling over.

There was nothing really to look at in the room, and no windows to escape from, so I found myself doing push-ups and sit-ups, and whatever else I could think of to occupy my time. I was a very interesting sight – an elegant lady in expensive clothes exercising on the floor. How delicate. But I didn't want to be some delicate princess waiting to be rescued – I was a firefighter, for crying out loud! I walked in circles around my tiny prison.

It occurred to me that I had yet to try opening the door myself. I padded quietly over to the door, and gave the doorknob and experimental jiggle. It moved easily, and was clearly unlocked. I turned the knob, and opened it just a hair. I opened the door a little more, and my heart leapt all the way into my throat as it revealed the new bane of my existence.

The man all in black – Hiei, I think they said before he hit me over the head – was leaning casually on the wall across the hall from my door. His hand was resting casually on the hilt of his katana – the second bane of my existence – and he stared me down. What was it with these men and intimidation?

"_Futatabi doa o hirakenaide._" He snarled at me, and I got the point. I closed the door, and resigned myself to this little room.

I shoved the lonely chair under the door handle for the comfort of it. They didn't lock me in, but I didn't want them coming in if I could help it. That being done, I felt a little more comfortable settling back down onto the futon mattress. My head was still throbbing a little, and that made it hard to stay awake, even in what felt like an increasingly dangerous situation. I had no phone with which to call for help, I didn't know where I was or how I got there, and I had no identification. It made for an unsettling amount of discomfort.

I wasn't desperate to escape just because I had no context for the amount of danger I was in.

* * *

Just as I started to drift off to sleep, I awoke in a small hospital room. I had monitor cables attached everywhere, and the room was packed with firefighters. For about forty square feet of space they packed in a whole lot of people. They were mostly asleep in chairs, and those standing were leaning against walls. A few were snoring. Firefighters can sleep _anywhere_.

I felt like death. Every limb hurt, and my mouth felt like it had been filled with cotton balls. Turning my head ever-so-slightly to one side caused excruciating pain, and I winced. I felt like one giant bruise.

My voice was cracked, but I coughed a few words out.

"Who died?" And the room exploded with life.

Watching fully grown men bawl like little girls has always been a guilty pleasure of mine, but when they're weeping into your hair it gets a little awkward. It seemed like anyone and everyone who had been working that fire was in my room. Even Samuel managed to wriggle his way into the room. He had one arm wrapped in bandages – bad burn – but that was it. Surprisingly, I was relieved he had survived. And then he, too, started weeping at my bedside.

I managed to piece together what had happened from the sobbing men – at some point I had come free from under the rock and moved further downstream. I must have floated on my back, because I was still alive… Some time later I was found by the mop-up crew, and flown to the nearest hospital. I had been very cold, and doctors were not optimistic. No one expected me to wake up.

"And John?" I asked about my fiancé, and was reassured. He had been told very little, and rushed onto a flight as soon as I had been found.

"He's landing soon – he'll be so relieved." I sighed in relief, too.

"I bet he was so worried…" I yawned, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. "I had such a strange dream…"

"We'll let you get back to it, then." Danny started to clear the room. "Let the lady rest!" I drifted in place very briefly, and as soon as the room was quiet I was asleep again.


	4. Chapter 4 - Uneasy

As soon as I started to drift off to sleep in the hospital room, I woke up in my tiny Japanese prison. As soon as I opened my eyes, I groaned and rolled over, trying to suffocate myself on the futon. This was complete insanity, it was the only explanation. I reached under my pillow and pinched myself fiercely.

"_Ow!_ Okay, that was a bad idea." I massaged the skin of my arm, trying to ease the sting. Genius, here.

I contemplated further suffocation in the comfortable futon, but eventually rolled over. My head didn't hurt as much this morning, which was a plus, but I had a desperate need to use the bathroom.

I left my fancy-yet-alien sandals in the corner of the room – nothing that pretty is ever comfortable for long, and I had yet to actually walk in the damn things. I unstuck the chair from under the door handle, and opened it an experimental inch. To my great pleasure, Hiei was not there. To my great displeasure, I still had a guard.

Kuwabara was sitting on the floor across from my room, reading what appeared to be a manga. He was so engrossed in what he was reading he didn't notice me until I coughed a little, at which point there was a lot of startled "UWAAAHH!". I might have startled him just a little bit. He stood awkwardly after flailing around for a moment, rubbing the back of his head in ambarassment.

"Um… I need to use the bathroom."

"_Ah _-_Basurūmu? Hai._" Wait – was that seriously the one word that sounded the same in both Japanese and English! My lucky fucking day! Kuwabara gestured for me to follow him down the hall.

The hallway extended maybe ten feet beyond my door, and Kuwabara opened a sliding _shoji_ door to a large living area. The room was empty save for a low table and a television against one wall.

"Kind of empty, don't you think?" I muttered under my breath.

"_Nani?"_ Kuwabara asked, turning his head.

"Oh nothing, nothing." I waved him off, and he smiled awkwardly.

We exited the sparse room on the opposite side via another sliding door, and we were in another, slightly longer hallway. There were doors on either side, and Kuwabara opened one before leaning against the opposite wall. I peered inside – bathroom! Quick as lightning I was inside and nearly slammed the door behind me.

* * *

After satisfying my more – ah hem – urgent issues, I opted for a quick shower. I didn't have any clean clothes to change into, but I didn't know when I would get a chance again. Letting the water heat up, I folded my clothes carefully and set them on the sink, and glanced briefly in the mirror. I didn't look too bedraggled, but I could really use a hairbrush.

The hot water felt fantastic. Sleeping on a strange mattress always does terrible things for my bad back, and I breathed a deep sigh of contentment. There were several bottles of flowery-smelling shampoo and conditioner already in the shower basket, and I tried to use very little and hoped I could apologize later for borrowing someone's supplies.

As I showered, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling in my mind that something wasn't quite right. I mean, sure, I was in the wrong country with no way to explain how I got there, but there was something else, too. As I was washing my arms and letting the water rinse the suds off, it dawned on me.

When I was 20 years old, I developed a cyst in my left wrist that required minor surgery to remove. It was a very simple operation, and had left a small horizontal scar that had faded nicely, but was still visible if you knew what you were looking for.

That scar was gone.

"What the hell…?" I washed water over the my wrist, clearing away the last few suds, and looked again. No scar.

When I was 18 years old, I had a ligament removed from my right elbow that had been compressing my ulnar nerve, and that had left a larger, more significant scar that I had been rather self-conscious of as a teen.

_That_ scar was gone.

I started running my hands over every inch of my skin – every scar, ding, and blemish that I had come to accumulate during my life was gone. I ran my hands over my earlobes – my pierced lobes were new again. I twisted in an awkward way to run my hand down the center of my spine, and while expecting to feel slightly raised tattooed skin, felt only baby-soft flesh.

Everything old was new again.

I stood stock-still in the shower as the water went from hot to lukewarm to cold. My brain couldn't process the information. I had no context for where to place it – all scars, wounds, tattoos and piercings gone? What did that mean? How could that _happen?_

In a robotic state I turned off the water and dried off. I found a hairdryer and a comb in the sink cupboard, and stared at myself in the mirror as I dried my hair. My skin looked like it had never seen a day's labor. It freaked me out.

I rushed through drying my hair, and dressed quickly, avoiding looking at myself any further. I just didn't know what to think.

* * *

Kuwabara was waiting patiently outside the bathroom. At some point he must have retrieved his manga, because he was again engrossed in the pages when I gave a tiny cough, and I was treated to an encore of his surprised screams. He composed himself more quickly the second time around, and for that I smiled a little.

"_Anata ga tabetaidesu ka_?" He mimed eating, and I nodded, still at a loss for words. He returned my weak smile with a beaming on of his own, which I appreciated.

My previous desire to observe my surroundings gone, I followed Kuwabara blindly through the little Japanese house, running over my situation in my mind.

Whatever reasons these boys had for not trusting me now seemed less farfetched. Where I had hoped that I had just lost my mind ("just", I say…), I was forced to throw that option out the window, leaving me void of reasonable explanation. I was an empty vessel, waiting for reason.

Kuwabara interrupted my musing by pushing a bowl of noodles into my arms that smelled strongly of peanuts. Maybe I wasn't a vessel waiting for a reason; but a vessel waiting for peanut noodles.

Kuwabara looked at me expectantly, and I beamed my best smile at him. He smiled back, and without ever leaving the kitchen we devoured our noodles.

* * *

Kuwabara let me spend a few hours in the sparse – but larger than the room I woke in – room, twiddling my thumbs while he read at the table. He offered me books a number of times, but I shrugged, and shook my head. Books written in a language you can't read aren't terribly helpful.

He was nice, though, and I appreciated the difference from Shuuichi's predatory presence. I much preferred watchdog-Kuwabara to watchdog-Shuuichi or Hiei. I shuddered a little at the though.

The day drew on, and eventually Kuwabara had to lead me back to my broom-closet/bedroom, politely opening my door for me yet again. I entered without complaint, and he closed the door behind me. Left with only my thoughts and an empty room, I opted to sleep rather than think about my discovery for the day. I just couldn't. So I gave up, and surrendered to sleep.

* * *

A/N: Finally, the plot thickens! Tune in next time, for what's up (or isn't up) with Aria's brain!


	5. Chapter 5 - Second Night

As I drifted to sleep, again I awoke back in my hospital room.

_Goddammitsonofabitch!_ I would have screamed, but I was back in the body that felt like a giant bruise with cotton balls shoved down the throat. It was slightly better today, but it was still worse than my Japan body.

_I am starting to think of them as US versus Japan bodies_… I sighed inwardly and worked on observing the room. All of the firefighters seemed to have left, which was a little disappointing, but they had probably gone back to fighting the fire.

A nurse wandered into my room at one point to scribble down my vitals, and informed me I would be picked up for testing in a few hours

"But I didn't get a chance to study." I joked lightly.

"It's just a CT scan – no studying required." She smiled, and left.

_Wait – a brain scan? _I was pretty sure I had nothing up there but scrambled brain bits. What does your brain look like when you hop from one continent to another over and over every night?

* * *

"Okay, Ms. Sauvaterre, hold very still." I didn't really have much of a choice, as they had strapped my head down, but I guess the tech was required to say it every time. The tray slid under the CT machine, and I focused all of my energy on holding still.

They were looking for traumatic damage, but what else would they see? Would they be able to see that I was somehow leaving my body every night and living in a rental? Does insanity show up on CT scans? I felt sick. I wondered how often people vomit inside these machines. My brain in turn provided graphic images of custodial staff being forced to climb inside a vomit-coated machine and scraping off chunks of partially digested hospital food. Gee, thanks, brain. I totally needed that to help me keep calm.

Before I knew it, I was moving out of the machine again. The tech was removing the strap squeezing my head, and helping me back into the transport wheelchair.

"All done, your doctor will be in later today to go over the results."

"Why can't you just tell me now?" It was an honest question, and I did not appreciate the bemused chuckle I got in return. I never got my answer, as someone swiftly wheeled me away.

I hate hospitals.

* * *

As I was wheeled back to my room a familiar face ran around the corner.

"John!" I yelled, instantly regretting the decision as the cotton balls in my trachea seemed to multiply. His eyes locked on mine and he rushed to my transport wheelchair, pulling me out and letting me bury myself in his embrace.

The transport nurse did not appreciate this, and quickly ushered me into my room to prevent me from "dying on the floor". His words.

I let John fawn all over me for a few minutes as he examined every scrape and bruise that he could see, while still managing to repeatedly kiss me while repeating how worried he had been.

"John, I'm ok – really!" I laughed a little as I had to try to make him stop fussing. He settled a little, but still fidgeted from the edge of the bed. I could tell he desperately wanted to check me for more bruises, so I had to distract him. "How about I tell you about the fire?" He nodded quickly.

"No one told me anything over the phone except 'John, get on a plane right now', which is the most terrifying thing you can get as a phone call!" I would have to talk to my friends about their notifications.

"Well, I'm glad they didn't – you would have been a mess." I patted the little bit of bed next to me, and he sat on the edge. "The fire was picked up by the wind, and we had to run…"

* * *

"Your doctor will be in later today to go over the results" apparently means "Yo, your doctor will get to you whenever he feels like it. Might be two hours. Might be eight hours."

Eight.

Hours.

Do you know how much a person can panic in eight hours? I started wondering what government agencies they must have called, and they were waiting for the FBI or CIA or NSA to flock to the building and carry me away for experimentation.

As it turns out, my doctor was just asleep. Crisis averted.

He sauntered in sometime around 7 p.m., my chart already open, and started talking without even checking to see if I was awake.

"Alright, Amy-"

"Aria." I corrected.

"Sorry, Aria – it looks like your CT is normal, there's no sign of significant head trauma, and you're recovering nicely overall. Your insurance wants me to release you tonight, but I'm going to keep you one more night, just in case." He looked up from the chart long enough to wink at me with fake earnestness. I hate doctors. He buried his nose back in his chart, and fished around in his pocket with a free hand. "I also made a quick call about your coverage for therapists, and they will cover any and all visits to a Dr. Allen, not far from your address." He set the doctor's information on the table beside my bed, and gave my shoulder and awkward, supposed-to-be-comforting-but-dear-god-stop squeeze.

"You take care now, Ann!"

"Aria." I hissed under my breath.

I really hate doctors.

* * *

I don't know why I kept it from John, but I never told him about my adventures in Japan every night. Maybe I was concerned that he wouldn't believe me. Maybe I knew I would be put through more brain scans until I glowed in the dark with radiation. Maybe it was just easier to leave that part out. I don't know.

John kissed me on the forehead as he was almost physically dragged from the hospital by security for the night. _No_ overnight visitors, they repeated. John threatened to hide in the stairwells, and they gave him an escort to make sure he left the building. Say what you want, the man is a clingy teddy-bear.

I was alone with my thoughts and the beeping hospital machines. I leaned back into the crappy hospital pillows, and clasped my hands together in prayer.

"Please, _please_, just let me stay in America tonight. Normal dreams – unicorns, vampires, I don't care. Please just let me stay here." I let go of the prayer, and lay on my side to sleep. I glanced at the scar on my wrist, and prayed it would be there when I woke up again.

* * *

A/N: I know the chapters keep getting shorter and shorter, but I'm trying to churn out these early chapters to get to the good stuff. The next one will be longer, I promise!


	6. Chapter 6 - The Interview

A/N: I know that the chapters have been getting shorter and shorter, but here's a longer one! I had a hard time approaching this chapter because there was so much ground to cover. I didn't want to miss details, so I ended up changing things a few times, which meant I had to go back several times to check for consistency. Sorry about the wait!

Also – for those curious about timeline, this is based after the end of the the TV series.

* * *

Somehow, I almost wasn't surprised when I woke up in my tiny Japanese prison-room. I sighed, but didn't try to smother myself. Progress, I suppose.

I sort of appreciated the abundant silence. While I had an inner monologue that raged against my definite captivity, I wasn't being tortured, I just had poor hosts. That was the mindset I tried to adopt. It didn't really work; I was still ticked-off.

I rose without great expedience, trying not to think about the fact that I had been wearing the same clothes for three days. The room hadn't changed overnight, it was still boring as sin. I opened my door with great trepidation – who was my guard this morning? Would I be graced with the great privilege of sitting in the empty living room?

There was no Shuuichi, no Hiei, and no Kuwabara. The third boy – Yusuke, I think – was standing in the hall. He wasn't leaning against a wall or sitting and reading, just sort of staring off down the hallway. He reminded me of old-school American greasers, only Japanese. His hair was slicked back with casual care, and his hands were shoved in his jeans pockets. All he needed was a black motorcycle jacket and some aviators.

He caught me out of the corner of his eye, and without acknowledging me hollered at _the top of his lungs_ down the hallway.

"_Oi! Kanojo wa me o samashidesu!" _I nearly had a heart attack. I almost died a second time when a disembodied voice screamed back _just as loud_ from down the hall.

So much for abundant silence.

Yusuke looked back at me, and cocked his thumb down the hall in a "follow me" kind of motion. Well, my options were broom-closet-prison or mysterious disembodied voice. What the hell, I was already crazy; why not add twice-dead to the mix?

To my surprise, the living room was no longer empty. It was still fairly devoid of furniture, but it was significantly more occupied than yesterday.

Shuuichi sat at the low table with two more people – a small, elderly woman with grey-pink hair (pretty trendy, grandma), and a young-man with brown hair and a pretty stupid "Jr." tattoo on his forehead. Who the hell still gets facial tattoos?

Hiei was standing in the doorway created by opened _shoji_ doors, which lead to a short patio and then to a very pretty scene outside. I would have bolted right then, but Hiei seemed to sense my intent, and intensified his glare in my direction. How about nope.

Kuwabara sat next to the modest TV, and smiled, waving at me. I returned with a tiny smile, and wiggled my fingers.

"Please, sit." Shuuichi gestured to a small pillow at the low Japanese table. _Not that I have much choice in the matter_, I thought, but I complied. Yusuke took the remaining seat at the table. I was somewhat satisfied to note that he didn't sit in proper _seiza _with his feet tucked under his legs, but cross-legged like me.

Shuuichi slid a small box across the table, attempting his best friendly smile. "It will be easier for you to wear these, than for me to translate." With great trepidation, I accepted the tiny box. Upon opening, I was no less confused.

"These are earrings."

"Yes – translation earrings." Shuuichi clarified. _Wow, Japanese technology has come a long way… does it talk in my ear or what?_ With my inner dialogue running full tilt in confusion-mode, I picked up one of the tiny gems. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how they were going to translate jack shit. I also remembered a slight issue.

"Um – my ears aren't pierced." _Anymore…_ I added mentally.

"They have magnetic backs. It won't be an issue – please." He gestured for me to put them on. I hesitated, but what harm could they do?

Creepily enough, everyone watched as I snapped the little baubles into place.

"Ok? What now?" My gaze darted around the room, as everyone exchanged their own meaningful looks. Yusuke leaned forward, elbows on the table, and stared at me.

"Can you understand me?" He asked, speaking very slowly, but in English. I hesitated in answering, as if it were a trick question. It definitely seemed like a trick question.

"Of course I can." I replied slowly.

"Excellent," said brown-headed poor-decision-in-tattoos guy, "then we can begin." It seemed wisest to stay silent, which apparently didn't faze him in the least. He reached behind him and pulled out a spectacularly large manila folder; the thing was shedding paper as I watched it travel two feet from behind him to the tabletop.

He flipped it open – more paper went flying – and began to read.

"Aria Liliane Sauveterre, born in Auvergne, France to American parents traveling abroad to finish their novel together. Born eight pounds, three ounces. You moved back to the United States when you were five, where you promptly broke your leg falling down the steps outside the airport. At age seven, you pushed a boy down in school and broke his nose in the process. You were suspended. At age ten, you were diagnosed with-"

"_**STOP!**_" I slammed my hands down on the table as I screamed, which made him jump a little. The tension in the room rose by several degrees, and I tried to calm my rapidly-beating heart. I spoke softly, hoping to calm the angry Hiei who was gripping the hilt of his katana. Mostly to threaten me, I think. "What the hell is going on?"

He closed the file calmly.

"Ms. Sauveterre, this file contains your entire life. I know everything there is to know about _everything_ in your life. My ogres have spent the last 36 hours collecting this information, and none of it – _none of it – _can tell me how you came to be in that park in Japan."

I started shaking pretty badly at that point.

"How- how do you know all of that?"

"My name is Koenma, and I am the Prince of the Spirit World." I was silent for a moment – as was he – as I tried to process that bit of information.

"And… what does that have to do with me?" I asked with great trepidation. Koenma opened the overflowing file that was my life, and pulled out a photo. He slid it slowly across the table.

"A hiker in California found this several months ago."

I knew what was in the photo, but I didn't want to see it. Time slowed down as the glossy paper moved across the table's surface. As it got closer I caught details on the edge of the image, but his hand still covered the center. _I recognize that river, and that rock…_ It looked just like a marble grim-reaper, reaching out over the water… drowning me.

Koenma let go of the photograph as I refused to touch it. A dead body was leaned up against the river bank, face bloated by time underwater, skin pale white and slick with water. The yellow fire-proof shirt and green fire-proof pants had been torn by debris moving downriver. The body's hair was matted and stuck to her head. There was a large gash in the side of her head. _Oh god…_

I stared down at my dead body in the photograph.

"Ms. Sauveterre, you are dead, but there is no record of your death in the Spirit World. Yet here you are."

* * *

It was lucky I already knew where the bathroom was, because I was very suddenly quite ill. I heaved into the toilet for what felt like an eternity. My pale, bloated face kept swimming to the top of my consciousness, and I would start heaving. My stomach emptied quickly, but the urge to heave remained.

I stayed hunched over in the bathroom, clinging to the cool floor for comfort long after the urge to vomit left me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break my foot kicking something.

I wanted a coke.

I wasn't surprised when I found Kuwabara waiting for me outside the bathroom. He looked slightly green around the gills himself, probably from having to listen to me vomit for an eternity.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I was startled to understand him, but I was too tired from being sick to jump, or question why.

"Like shit. I need a coke."

"I'll get you one – go sit down." Kuwabara pointed me back into the living room while he disappeared to the kitchen.

Somehow I wasn't surprised to see everyone still waiting for me. I walked somewhat unsteadily back to my little pillow on the floor, and sat heavily. I leaned against the table for support, compiling my thoughts.

"So…" I began, "I'm dead." Koenma nodded. "But I'm here." He nodded again. "And you don't know why." Nod. "Well now that we're all caught up, what _do _you know?" Kuwabara reappeared at my side, handing me the most glorious-looking cold Coca-Cola that I had ever seen. I whispered quiet, reverent 'thank-you' as Koenma began to speak

"When you 'arrived' in Japan, there was a surge of spiritual energy, which is what drew Kuwabara to you. He called Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei, who noted that you carried a strong presence of the Demon World with you. They then called me."

"Kurama-who now?" I asked, and Koenma shared an apologetic look with a surly-looking Shuuichi.

"Kurama is Shuuichi. He shares his body, in a sense, with a demon's spirit." My gaze slowly moved to Shuuichi – no, Kurama, I suppose – who stared back. That predatory look was unnerving. "In fact, the only humans in the room are Kuwabara and Genkai!" Koenma gave a little giggle, as though the thought had never occurred to him.

I held the coke to my head for a moment, reveling in the cold sensation. I felt ill again.

"I'm very confused." I said bluntly.

"As well you should be. Humans are largely unaware of the three worlds – Human, Spirit, and Demon." He took a deep breath to start what I could only assume was a lengthy exposition, but I held up a finger to interrupt.

"Can I just assume that spirits live in Spirit World and demons in Demon World?"

Koenma appeared annoyed at my level of sass, but I was much too tired to care.

"You're correct." His eye twitched in annoyance, but he composed himself and continued. "The aura of Demon World was fairly strong around you, which is almost impossible – humans can't survive in the Demon World unless they have spiritual abilities." He flipped open my file for a moment – papers went flying again – and consulted a page. "You have a small amount of spiritual power, not enough to protect you there, but enough to make the translator work." He closed the file casually, and I interrupted again.

"I have _what_ now? And _what_ translator?"

"Mostly just a spiritual awareness, probably. Strange feelings when ghosts are nearby, but nothing strong enough for a barrier or a weapon." He said dismissively, adding "And the translator replaces your primary language with our language of choice – Japanese."

_I swear to god if I don't get a straight answer from this man I will wring his neck before the sun goes down._

Hiei snorted in amusement from the doorway, and I looked at him oddly. Had I said that out loud? Apparently not, because no one commented. I must have had an odd expression, then.

Koenma was still talking, and as a quick experiment I pulled one of the magnetic earrings from my earlobe, and the strangest thing happened. Koenma was still talking, but every other word was Japanese. I definitely had a strange expression on my face, because Shuuichi finally interrupted, with a "Please put the earring back on." I complied slowly, and Koenma went back to speaking full English.

What.

The _hell_.

"_Are you listening?" _Koenma snapped.

"Yes!" I instantly replied. _Nope_, I thought in my head. Koenma huffed a little.

"As I was_ saying_, humans rarely go undetected in the Demon World, which begs the question of how you went from being dead in America, to being in the Demon World, to being in Japan without _anyone_ noticing." Koenma paused, staring at me as if I was supposed to know the answer.

"I'll take 'rhetorical questions' for $20,000, Alex." I replied. Koenma was not amused.

"I'm afraid that until we get answers, you don't have many options." _You're afraid, ha! _That seemed like a very veiled way of saying 'fess up or else'.

"And believe me I would love some answers myself, but I just don't have any handy." Koenma didn't seem concerned, in fact he gestured briefly over his shoulder to Hiei.

"Hiei can help with that." Hiei locked me with a threatening gaze that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with.

"No… I'm good, thanks." _I really don't want whatever 'help' he has to offer._

"You don't have a choice. Do it, Hiei."

I waited for Hiei to hit me over the head or something, but he never moved from his spot in the doorway. As I stared, he lifted a hand and loosened his white headband just a little with his thumb, and something glowed. My eyes watered, and I blinked.

What.

The _hell!?_

I was sitting at my kitchen table in my apartment in America.

* * *

I stood wildly, knocking the chair backwards, but before I could break out into wild swearing, the door to the bedroom opened, and _I watched myself walk out_.

In a moment of clarity, I recognized my traveling clothes and the duffel I carried.

_This is back in September, when I left for California…_

I watched as I closed the bedroom door quietly behind me, and there was a knock at the front door. Me-from-the-past walked past me without noticing. I noticed that Hiei was standing in the doorway of the tiny apartment kitchen, watching me watch myself, and observing the scene.

"What's going on?" I asked him quietly. He didn't answer me, just watched the scene play out.

The apartment door opened, and closed again, and me-from-the-past was gone. Hiei's gaze slowly turned to me, and he finally spoke.

"Remember the fire." There was a purple glow at the edge of my vision, and I blinked.

We were in California.

* * *

Up next! Hiei takes a tour of Aria's memories!


	7. Chapter 7 - Memory

Hiei stood almost directly beside me on the uneven ground. I could smell burning pine, and thick smoke billowed high over the treetops. I could hear the roar of fire, and the rushing of the river beside us.

I watched as me-from-the-past burst from the tree line, quickly followed by Sam. We were carrying our fire shelters and rakes. I was digging into the ground, and Sam was panicking.

"This is my memory…" I murmured. Hiei said nothing, again just watching the scene play out.

I watched as Sam fumbled, and my heart broke a little as I tucked him into my shelter, and waded into the river.

I blinked, and I was staring into my own eyes as I was dragged under that killer rock by the roaring river and the tree that hit me over the head. I saw the last few bubbles of air slip from my unconscious lips.

I died.

Again.

I blinked, and I saw myself on the park bench in Japan. Me-from-the-past waved to Kuwabara.

I blinked, and Hiei and I were back on the riverbank in California. Rather than watch the scene again, I looked to Hiei.

"Are you doing this?"

"Be quiet." He finally answered me.

I couldn't watch as I died again.

I blinked, and we were back in the park in Japan.

Hiei snarled, and we ran through both memories again. He seemed unsatisfied with the recall. The glow under his headband intensified, and I developed a sudden and extreme headache.

The purple glow at the corners of my vision intensified, and I was in my apartment. John rose from his chair and dropped to one knee during dinner; the ring from my favorite jeweler looked so small in his huge hands. He was proposing, and I cried. Before I could hear the answer I knew was coming, the light surged again.

We were watching me fight my first fire.

We were watching me get my tattoo.

We were watching my first day of college – eyes gleaming and arms carrying too much stuff.

We were watching me graduate high school.

We were watching me peer out the airplane window on the flight from France to America.

Hiei flipped through my memories over and over again. I stood beside him as my life lay bare and exposed before him, and he still seemed unsatisfied.

We watched me die one more time, lingering on my dead body trapped in the river. The memory faded slowly to black as I died, and instantly snapped to Japan. Exactly how I remembered.

Hiei seemed to slide the memory in reverse – further intensifying my headache – and lingered in that darkness for a moment. I couldn't see him in that darkness, but it felt like he was waiting for something.

The violet glow surrounded my senses, and I blinked.

* * *

I was back in Japan.

I gripped the edge of the table with such intensity I almost expected the wood to crack. I felt sick, and my head was pounding. For the second time today, I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream.

I reached a shaky hand for my coke instead.

"She's human. And dead." I heard Hiei grunt to the others.

"What… was _that_." I found my voice around the coke can, but focused my gaze on the table. Oh, sweet table, don't ever change.

"Hiei examined your memories." Koenma said lightly, as though Hiei had just skipped over to the TV and picked my memory channel from in-between the news and the weather.

"Fantastic. Are you satisfied?" _Please don't make me go through that again._

He paused before answering, which was not encouraging.

"We need to investigate further." He stood from the table with the gigantic file in his arms. "You will stay here at Genkai's temple until I reach a decision." At which the old woman murmured something obscene under her breath.

Before I had a chance to interject, He left with a fancy swirl of his jacket. I went to shout something to stop him, but the look Genkai sent my way could curdle milk. My stomach soured a little under her harsh gaze. Without moving, she had managed to turn that tiny body into a huge and imposing figure.

It freaked me out.

She crossed her arms over her chest, and laid down the law.

"You are to stay on the temple grounds. The forest is off-limits without an escort – corpse cleanup is not pleasant. I don't care what you do all day, but keep to yourself. There's food in the kitchen," she tilted her head in its direction "cook it yourself; I'm not your mother. This is a _temporary_ arrangement. Do you understand?" The harsh stare continued, and I realized when she twitched one eyebrow higher that I was supposed to answer.

"Yes ma'am." _Yes, Warden_.

"Hiei will be watching you." _Obviously to his great distaste._ "So don't do anything stupid." At the mention of his name, Hiei gave me one final glare, and vanished. My eyes widened to roughly the size of dinner plates.

"What the – where did he _go_?" Genkai snorted, and Yusuke laughed.

"He does that. You had better get used to it."

For what felt like the first time since I entered the room, the atmosphere lightened a little. Yusuke leaned across the table, peering at me with an odd grin on his face.

"So," he started. "What's drowning like?" He seemed genuinely curious, and completely oblivious that he might have asked a slightly traumatic question.

"_Urameshi!_" Kuwabara hollered, "You're such an idiot! How could you ask something like that?!"

"Why not?" He hollered back. "It's a serious question – I've only died twice, and neither of them was in water; I'm just _asking_!"

The two of them proceeded to bicker to great volumes, with Kuwabara defending my delicate ladylike sensibilities (my inner feminist bristled a little, but it was amusing to watch), and Yusuke defending his right to ask whatever stupid questions popped up in his head. At some point they started wrestling in the middle of the room, and Kurama excused himself. Genkai didn't bother with niceties; she just left the room, giving Yusuke's head a kick on the way out. He didn't seem to notice.

There was a definite character to this strange group of people that categorized them as one of the strangest family groups I had ever encountered, but a family none the less. At some point, Yusuke ended up sitting on Kuwabara's back, pinning both an arm and a leg behind him, and I just burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry," I coughed out between giggles as they both looked up from their fighting, "I couldn't help it – You fight just like my brothers." They looked at me strangely, and it took a minute for my giggles to stop. It was a comforting familiarity.

* * *

Kuwabara and Yusuke spent a surprising amount of time with me in the temple long after Koenma, Genkai, Kurama, and Hiei had left. Occasionally Yusuke's demeanor would shift, and I could tell he wasn't yet completely convinced that I wasn't a threat – whatever that was about my having an 'aura' of Demon World. Kuwabara, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem talking about anything and everything under the sun.

Where Koenma had been no help at all, Kuwabara and Yusuke filled in a lot of blanks, and I tried to reciprocate. I would ask something like 'How can Hiei just disappear', and after answering, they would ask something like 'when did you become a firefighter'. It was like a long version of 20 questions, and it wasn't long before I realized their goal.

"You know," I said casually, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "you two are much better interrogators than Shuuichi." They both blinked in sync, and I smiled. They looked at each other, and grinned sheepishly.

"Caught us." Yusuke laughed. I shrugged.

"It's fine. I understand, I suppose. From what you've told me, you have every right to be cautious." I propped my elbows on the table and rested my chin in my hands. "I appreciate the kindness all the same. I was sort of worried that Shuuichi was going to start shoving sharpened sticks under my fingernails to get answers."

Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged knowing grins, which was not at all comforting.

"…what." I asked, and Yusuke explained to me Kurama's plant mastery. Then they shared a good laugh over the complete look of horror that passed over my face.

"_Stop laughing_!" I yelled. "How is that funny? That's horrible – why didn't you _tell_ me?" I knew why – they had no reason to trust me – but I realized now that if I hadn't been forthcoming with them, Kurama and his pointy sticks probably hadn't been too far down the road of possibilities.

"Stop freaking out," Yusuke slapped me on the back, and boy that hurt. "We're pretty sure you're harmless." To which I muttered a 'gee, thanks', which he ignored. "We just want to be sure. Can't be too careful, right?"

I thought about all the times a lack of cautious had gotten me into some serious trouble – most significantly, the time that ended in my death.

"I suppose." And we left it at that.

* * *

As evening drew near, Yusuke and Kuwabara excused themselves for the night. As they were leaving, I remembered a question that I had been wanting to ask.

"Hey - are there any spare clothes here?" They had been halfway out the shoji doors, and glanced back. My face flushed a little as I added, "I didn't exactly appear in Japan with a suitcase in tow." Yusuke looked at me thoughtfully, hand on chin.

"I don't think anything here would fit you, but my girlfriend's not much smaller than you – I can ask her?" I thanked him, and they left, managing to get into another argument before getting ten feet from the temple.

I watched them from the doorway, while simultaneously observing the temple grounds for the first time.

The temple had a wonderful wood porch that wrapped all the way around the building, and a little open-air connecting hallway that went to another building of the temple. I'm sure it had a specific name, but unfortunately I didn't know it.

The empty living-room opened onto an open courtyard of large stone pavers. The courtyard extended all the way to a steep hillside, where it dropped down into – what I assumed were quite steep – stairs. Courtyard met forest at that hillside, and it crept around the temple and extended far past my view.

I closed the sliding shoji doors, and retired to my tiny broom-closet-bedroom for the evening. My head was buzzing with new information, and while I thought that I wouldn't be able to rest, I felt exhausted as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I realized as I lay down to sleep that for all of the memories that Hiei had gone through, he hadn't bothered with anything after I came to Japan.

_He hadn't seen my nightly shift back to America._

My secret.

* * *

A/N: I had a ridiculously hard time finishing this chapter; it just did _not_ want to wrap up cleanly. Sorry for the wait, but I had to fix all the typos from repeatedly banging my head on the keyboard in frustration.


	8. Chapter 8 - Full Circle

A/N: I did realize that I made one teeny mistake with regards to the location of the therapist Dr. Allen (I had placed him at the California hospital, which made pretty much no sense for when Aria goes home, not in CA) so now a small part of Chapter 5 has been changed (like 5 words) but you probably won't even notice. If you do – sorry!

This is a very short chapter, but necessary. Posting two chapters in one day – whew!

* * *

"Are you okay?" John asked for the 10,000th time. I was getting so tired of the question 'are you okay?', but managed not to snap.

"Yep, I'm fine. Just get the door, please." John rushed up the steps ahead of me to go unlock the apartment door. He had been so concerned during the flight home. Five hours is a long time to spend in an airplane, but it's even longer when someone is chittering in your ear about how concerned they are. I loved that man to death, but he was getting on my last nerve.

I hobbled up the steps on my own, feeling somewhat satisfied to be moving on my own steam. John had almost rented a wheelchair, but I had made it clear that was _not_ happening. I was much too independent for that.

The door was open for me when I reached the landing, and John was already making me a cup of tea as I closed the door behind me. Annoying though he could be, he could also read my mind sometimes. Feeling suddenly very tired, I sat down heavily at the table, not bothering to take off my coat.

The hospital in California had given me a stack of discharge papers a mile high. The stack sat intimidatingly in the middle of the table, and at the top was a yellow post-it with a phone number for Dr. Allen. I really did not look forward to talking to a therapist. I peeled the post-it slowly off of the top paper, and glared at it. Sadly, it did not burst into flame like I wanted. Darn.

John appeared with my tea, and set it on the table in front of me.

"Here," he reached for the post it, "let me do that for you." I moved my arm out of his reach, and tried to smile benignly.

"I can do it, John. I'm not an invalid." That last part came out a little harsher than I meant, and he looked a little hurt. "Look – I'm just a little tired, but I can still do things, hun." He appeared somewhat mollified.

I stuck the post-it on the window next to me, and drank my tea in silence. I leaned back in the chair, and my gaze swept through the apartment. It lingered for a moment on the wall across from me, and I tilted my head to one side.

"Has that wall always been that color?" John turned to look – the wall was painted a deep, generic beige, but the color seemed just a hair darker than I remembered.

"Well I didn't paint while you were gone, so I guess so? I don't really stare at the walls very much." He gave me a little smile, and went to carry our luggage to the bedroom.

"Yeah… I guess it's just in my head." I mumbled, but I don't think he heard me. I looked around the rest of the apartment, and everything _seemed_ right. Was I now more familiar with Japan than my own apartment? Sure, I had been away fighting fires; but I didn't expect my own apartment to feel so strangely unfamiliar.

I tried to shake the feeling, but it came back when I finished my tea; the empty mug felt too light. I wanted to ask John if he had bought new mugs recently, but they were definitely the same mugs. They were the right color, the right shape, and the right texture, but the weight was wrong.

I set the mug on the table quickly, and tried to leave it be. I looked out the window, and tried to think of nothing.

_Everything is fine,_ I repeated over and over in my head, wishing it could be true. _Everything is fine._

* * *

I took what felt like the longest hot shower of my life. I examined my body in the water exactly as I had done in Japan, running my hands over every familiar scar, every new bruise, and breathed a deep sigh of relief when I touched the edge of my tattoo on my back. Something was right, at least.

I took the time to put the proper products in my hair, and blow-dry it on a low heat. I bundled up in my plushy robe, and stood in the closet for a good two minutes, just enjoying the selection of clothing.

When I came back out into the living room, John ambushed me, looking sheepish.

"I know you didn't want me to, but I called Dr. Allen's office and he has an appointment open this afternoon." He gave me a weak little smile, and gave me a weak little smile.

I don't know what god of peace possessed me, but I managed not to scream. Instead, I gave him a little smile and thanked him for being considerate.

God only knows how I managed that.

* * *

_The current moving down under the rock started to pull me under, and the trauma of the tree to my head left me unable to move my arms with purpose. I moved them weakly, and clawed at the rock with a weakening grasp. The ripped down, and the water closed over my head. _

_I knew only darkness._

"Is that it?" He asked, looking up from his notepad.

So there I was, lying to my therapist.

"That's all I remember." I almost choked on the lie. I tried to stare at Dr. Allen, convinced that if I looked away he would sense my lie. He broke the gaze first, and scribbled something on his notepad. He seemed to be about to say something, but in glancing at the clock he set down the notepad.

"That's all for now. It was nice to meet you, Aria, and I look forward to seeing you next time." We stood at the same time, and he reached out for a handshake.

Worst. Handshake. _Ever_.

I know he was trying to be friendly, but I really didn't want to be talking to a therapist. Don't get me wrong – several of my friends swear by the power of therapy – but I never felt that anyone would be able to tell me about my own feelings. Now was no exception.

I gave him a weak smile, and left that office in a hurry.

* * *

"So how was it?" John asked, opening the passenger door for me.

"Pretty weird, but ok I guess." I replied. John nodded knowingly.

I stared straight ahead at the car across from us in the parking lot. I tried to ignore my perception that the seats of the car were wider than I remembered.

_Everything is fine. _ I repeated my new mantra over and over. _Everything is fine._

_Everything is fine._

* * *

A/N: Well, now we have come full circle! Hence the chapter title.


	9. Chapter 9 - Testing Walls

A/N: I actually combined two different chapters to make this one. I wanted to separate out each Japan and America day into different chapters for the foreseeable future, but I decided to combine a few to make fewer – but longer – chapters. So while you will get longer chapters, you'll have to wait a little longer between updates.

* * *

No one was guarding my door in the morning. I stood in my doorway for a couple of minutes, wondering if the floor was booby-trapped. I tested it tentatively with a toe, and when nothing exploded I figured I was probably safe.

I wandered out into the living space, and I could see Genkai through the open _shoji_, sitting on the porch and drinking tea. She didn't acknowledge my presence, so I didn't bother announcing myself. The old woman scared me; I didn't want her looking at me if I could help it.

I managed to find my way back to the kitchen, and with great culinary skill made myself a bowl of cereal. I sat on the counter, munching away, feeling very satisfied with myself.

I almost dropped my bowl when a girl with mint-green hair walked into the kitchen. She was a little shorter than me, dressed in a pink dress with a short brown cardigan. She looked up at me with eyes as red as maraschino cherries, and her mouth made a tiny 'o'.

"Uh, hi," I said lamely. "I'm Aria." I waved, spoon in hand. I realized my manners were truly terrible when she bowed in return.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Yukina." I hopped down from the countertop, and tried to appear somewhat polite by bowing back. It would have been better if I hadn't bowed over my cereal. She didn't comment on it, which I thought was very kind.

"So – I'm not sure what the others have told you, but I'm-" I really wasn't sure how to categorize myself, but Yukina kindly interrupted.

"You're a guest." She smiled at me so brightly and so genuinely it actually hurt a little. Our awkward little smile-fest was thankfully interrupted by a voice from the living room.

"_Oi!_ Anybody home_?_" Of course it was Yusuke, bellowing at the top of his lungs. I smiled a little when I heard Genkai holler back.

"Where the hell else would we_ be, _idiot?"

Gee, such caring and tender people I was stuck with. I shook my head, sighing, and Yukina giggled a little. She followed me from the kitchen back through the maze of the temple.

Yusuke was waiting for us in the living space, sitting on the floor with Kuwabara in front of the television. He and Kuwabara were playing some violent-looking video game, and they were managing to kick each other while simultaneously kicking each other in the game. It was actually an impressive amount of multi-tasking.

They hadn't come alone – three girls were sitting at the low table, managing to hold their own conversation while Kuwabara and Yusuke kicked and hollered at each other. It was also impressive, in its own way. Two girls had long brown hair, and one had… blue. She really had blue hair. Yukina joined them at the table, sitting next to blue-hair.

For the second time that morning, I managed to announce myself with a lame "Uh, hi." I really needed to work on my people skills.

Yusuke leaned back, turning his head in my direction but keeping his focus on the game, and gave a short introduction.

"Aria, this is Keiko, and two girls who followed us without being invited. I have no idea who they are."

"_Yusuke!" _Blue-hair exclaimed, _"_Honestly, I'm sometimes amazed we still spend time with you." She huffed and crossed her arms.

"You know – I am too! I keep hiding and you keep finding me! _Ow!_" Blue-hair beaned Yusuke in the back of the head with a shoe.

I decided to save Yusuke from shoving his metaphorical foot any further down his throat, and decided to be brave and join the girls. I wasn't exactly sure where to sit until one girl shuffled over a bit, making room for me.

"I'm Keiko – and this is Shizuru and Botan." Shizuru waved a casual hand, but Botan fairly exploded with energy.

"Hello! It's so wonderful to meet you! I mean, I've been looking at your file for a few days now, but it's nice to _meet_ meet you, you know?" I leaned back a little, trying to distance myself from the excitement.

"Not… really?" Keiko saved me from a further vocal attack.

"Yusuke said you needed some clothes? He's pretty bad at judging sizes, so Shizuru and Botan pitched in some things, too." She handed me two grocery bags packed with clothing items, and I swear I teared up a little. "If you need anything else, we can take you to the mall in town sometime next week?" She offered.

"Uh – sorry, but no." Yusuke hollered over his shoulder.

"Why not?" Keiko asked, brow furrowing.

"Koenma says so." Yusuke tried to sound nonchalant, but his tone was firm.

"Well I say a girl needs a little time at a mall now and then." Botan chimed in, but Yusuke shut her down with a harsh tone.

"I'm serious, Botan; _no_."

There was a very awkward silence.

"Um… I'm going to go try some of this stuff on." I grabbed the two bags and left the room in a bit of a hurry. I could hear Keiko and Botan arguing with Yusuke, and slipped off the magnetic translators so I wouldn't have to hear.

I hung the bags on the back of the lonely chair in my broom-closet room, and carefully removed each item. Just by checking size tags, I was able to rule out a few items as just way too small, but most of them looked like they would fit okay. I closed the door quietly, and changed from my black slacks and blouse into a pair of gray jeans and a black t-shirt that had a wide square neck. It was an unusual cut, but I thought it looked pretty flattering.

I folded the rest of the clothes that were in my size carefully on the chair, and put everything that was too small back in the grocery bags. Right as I finished, there was a knock at the door.

I slipped the translator earrings back on just as a voice rose from the other side.

"Aria? Are you in there?" Keiko's voice was quiet, almost sheepish. I guessed that whatever argument she had been having with Yusuke, he had won.

I opened the door, and she held out another grocery bag.

"I forgot – I also brought you some toiletries; toothbrush, hairbrush, shampoo…" Her gaze drifted to the tiny room behind me, and her list stopped abruptly. She stared, saying nothing.

"Keiko? Are you okay?"

She shoved the bag in my hands, and whipped around, storming back down the hallway. I stood there, truly concerned that I had somehow offended her, until I heard her screaming at Yusuke.

"She's sleeping in the _closet_?!"

Wow. I had thought the room was a little on the small side, but it had never occurred to me that it was an _actual _closet.

"It was the only space we had!" He yelled back.

"That's such _crap! _I _know_ Genkai has _plenty_ of open rooms!"

Before I had time to hide in a storm shelter, Hurricane Keiko came storming back down the hallway. I stood stock-still in my doorway, hoping she didn't see me. Or yell at me.

"Get your things." She told me. I didn't move, and she sighed. "I'm not mad at _you_, Aria." She moved around me into my tiny room, and quickly scanned the space. She shook her head as she shoved my carefully folded clothes back into the grocery bags.

She looked around the room again, trying to find more belongings, but there just wasn't anything in the room. She swept past me with the bags, walking swiftly down the hallway. I was still holding the toiletries bag, and quickly got moving to follow her.

When Keiko stormed into the living room, Yusuke was waiting. He wasn't playing a game anymore, and was standing in the doorway that led to the rest of the temple.

"Keiko, what are you doing?" His tone was flat.

"She's living in a _closet_, Yusuke! You don't see anything _wrong_ with that?"

"It's the safest option. We aren't in a position to take chances." Yusuke wasn't yelling anymore, but Keiko certainly was.

"She's not a demon – can't you see that? She's just a girl, and it's cruel to keep her locked away in such a tiny room!" Keiko was on the verge of tears, and I don't think it was really about me anymore. Kuwabara and the other girls were trying not to stare at the two, but they were having a very private argument in a very public place.

Keiko gripped the bags to her chest like a life jacket.

"I just need you to listen, and trust me."

Yusuke was silent, and I had the feeling those were recurring arguments in their relationship. The room maintained a high tension level, and I reached for Keiko with my free hand.

"It's okay, really," I said softly, touching her arm, "It's not so bad." She didn't move, just stared at Yusuke.

"No," he said softly. "you win - come on." He gave in. Yusuke turned in the doorway, gesturing over his shoulder for us to follow. Keiko and I followed quickly, and he took us past the kitchen, to an unfamiliar section of the house. He opened a door not far from the kitchen, and gestured in.

"Here. We'll lock you in at night-" Keiko interrupted him.

"_No._" Yusuke crumpled a little.

"Keiko, c'mon…"

"I said no!" He sighed deeply.

"What am I supposed to tell Koenma?"

"I don't care." They entered another stare-down, at which point I decided to just let them work it out, but I wanted to see my room.

I flicked a switch on the inside of the door, and my breath caught a little. Compared to my little closet, this room was a palace.

It had a beautiful mahogany frame queen-size bed, dresser, and desk. There was a full-sized window that looked out onto the grounds and the woods beyond, and pretty blue curtains to complement the cream walls. I spun once in the room, soaking in the details.

I sat heavily on the bed, my little bag of toiletries next to me, just staring at the upgrade. I remembered who had made it all change, and stood quickly, running to the door and wrapping my arms around Keiko. I sort of forgot that she had still been arguing with Yusuke, and I had interrupted mid-statement.

"… Aria?" She asked quietly.

"_Thank you_," I said earnestly. "This is the nicest thing anyone's done for me since I got here." My thanks was only met with silence, and I had the feeling that Keiko was glaring at Yusuke for being a poor host.

I didn't care. I was happy.

* * *

Keiko and the girls were more than happy to hang out with me in my new room while Kuwabara and Yusuke went back to fighting over video games. I'm sure Yusuke much preferred that kind of fighting.

I modeled every piece of clothing the girls brought for me, and got what I would consider to be the best advice available about which pieces worked for me. Keiko also eventually apologized for putting me in the middle of the argument between her and Yusuke.

"Things have been a little… rough, for us lately." She looked sheepish, but I waved it off.

"It wasn't _too_ painfully awkward. And besides – I think I got a pretty good deal out of it!"

We all laughed together, and it felt good.

It was nice to have friends.

* * *

I had a feeling of déjà vu as I waved to everyone when they left in the evening. Yukina stood with me, so I wasn't completely alone.

"What would you like for dinner?" Yukina asked, and I almost didn't hear her quiet voice. I quirked an eyebrow at her, a little confused.

"Genkai told me I would have to cook for myself." _And I really don't want to piss her off_. Yukina giggled a little.

"I do a lot of cooking for Master Genkai and Mister Hiei. It isn't any trouble to make a little more food at meals."

"Are you sure? I don't want to get you in any trouble." Yukina smiled, and assured me that Genkai was al bark and no bite. Somehow I found that hard to believe. I insisted on helping her cook, at the very least, and she gave me that.

As it turned out, I'm terrible at cooking Japanese food. I ended up just slicing vegetables, and cleaning pots and utensils when Yukina was finished. She never commented on my lack of skill, but instead thanked me for all of my help.

Genkai, Yukina and I ate dinner together in relative silence, but this time at least the old woman wasn't glaring at me. She would occasionally ask Yukina about the food, like which spices she had used, and Yukina would answer with a 'a little salt, Master Genkai.' Damn if that girl didn't have the best manners I had ever seen.

And speaking of manners, I caught my first glimpse of Hiei since he invaded my memories as he grabbed his own serving of dinner. He didn't eat with us, but took a bowl and went outside.

"Hi, Hiei." I was trying to be polite, although I had no reason to try.

"Hn." Gee, I was so glad I tried to be polite.

* * *

I insisted on doing the dishes after dinner. Yukina tried to argue with me, but I shooed her out with a "let me do my part!"

Cleaning the kitchen after dinner has always been a soothing exercise for me. The temple didn't have a dishwasher, so I got to wash each pot, bowl, and set of chopsticks by hands. It was kind of nice. I hummed quietly to myself as I worked just to fill a little of the silence. That humming didn't take long to turn into a quiet song.

_When I was just a little girl  
I asked my mother  
What will I be  
Will I be pretty,  
Will I be rich?  
Here's what she said to me_

Que sera, sera  
Whatever will be, will be  
The future's not ours to see  
Que sera, sera

A strange feeling crept up the back of my neck. I could feel the hairs stand on end, and I had the distinct feeling someone was watching me. I kept scrubbing the pot that was in the sink, and casually turned my head to look at the doorway behind me. Sure enough, Hiei was standing in the doorway.

"What's up?" I was trying to be casual, really. I'm very self-conscious, and sneaky people standing in doorways never helped much.

"Hn. Here." He held out his bowl and chopsticks from dinner.

"Can you just set them on the counter? I don't' want to drip on the floor." I pointed to the counter with a sudsy hand. To my great surprise, Hiei actually complied. I suppose his other option was to leave it in the middle of the floor, but it was nice all the same. "Thanks."

"Just stop that infernal noise." My face flushed – he _had_ heard me singing. Fabulous.

"It's not _noise_, it's singing. And considering I can't do a lot of other things already, I'll sing as much as I like, thank you very much." I felt a little sassy, what can I say. Hiei didn't reply, and when I turned again to look for him he had vanished.

"What a strange man…" Yusuke and Kuwabara had told me a little about the silent fire demon, most of it being 'he pretends like he hates everyone, but just don't piss him off'. I think they told me just enough about everyone to keep me alive.

I sang a little more to myself as I cleaned the counters, and swept the floor. It drifted around me as I wandered back to my new room, and got ready for bed.

_When I grew up, and fell in love  
I asked my sweetheart, "What lies ahead?  
Will we have rainbows, day after day?"  
Here's what my sweetheart said_

_Que Sera, Sera  
Whatever will be, will be  
The future's not ours, to see  
Que Sera, Sera_

The new mattress was quiet comfortable, and it didn't take long for the tension of the day to creep from my bones. My eyes grew heavy, and I drifted off.

_Now I have children of my own  
They ask their mother, "What will I be  
Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"  
I tell them tenderly_

_Que Sera, Sera  
Whatever will be, will be  
The future's not ours, to see  
Que Sera, Sera_

* * *

I figured it had something to do with my recovery, but I was incredibly tired all morning in America. I had to shoo John out the door to go to work, as he kept offering to get me things from the store, or make me another cup of coffee. The man needed to work, and I needed a break from his fussing.

I ended up sitting on the sofa for a large part of the day, just sprawled out in front of the television. I couldn't settle on a channel, and kept flipping around from sports to weather to bad daytime soap operas. _Hah_, I thought, _this is nothing, compared to my crazy life._

Tucked under my favorite blanket, warm and cozy, I started to drift off. I almost tried holding my eyes open, but sleep soon claimed me.

To my great surprise, I woke up in my bedroom. In_ Japan._ I rolled over, and checked the clock on my nightstand; 2 a.m.

No matter how much I tossed and turned, I just could not get back to sleep. It wasn't fair – up until now I had equal time in both worlds, and I was being cheated tonight. In a huff, I got out of bed. There was really no point in tossing around if I wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway.

I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and stood by the stove while the kettle warmed up – I didn't want the whistle to wake anyone else if I could help it. I was rifling around in the cabinets when a familiar sensation crept up the back of my neck. I turned my head slowly, half-expecting to see a familiar fire demon lurking in the doorway.

He was not.

Somehow, that was even more disturbing.

"Hiei?" I called out quietly. "If you're trying to freak me out, it's working; so please cut it out!"

There was no answer, not even a 'Hn'.

Creepy.

The kettle started to whistle behind me, and I rushed to turn off the stove. My hot tea offered me a little comfort from the odd sensation of being watched, but I quickly returned to my bedroom and locked the door behind me. I closed my curtains, and sat on my bed with the lights on, humming to myself.

The tea slowly relaxed me, and I tried going back to sleep. Once again, my familiar song spinning around in my mind relaxed me enough to sleep.

The clock on the nightstand read 4:23 a.m.

John was shaking my shoulder.

"Honey, wake up…" I woke up a little violently, flailing under the blanket, and almost falling off of the sofa.

"_wasshappening?"_ I blurted out. John laughed a little, and I blinked at him owlishly. "How long was I asleep?"

"I don't know – I just got home." I looked past him to the clock on the wall. It read 5:25 pm. "Feeling hungry?" He asked me, refocusing my attention. "I brought pizza."

He disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, and I disentangled myself from the blanket.

_Everything is fine_, I repeated in my head, combing out the knots in my hair with my fingers.

_Everything is fine_.

John and I sat down to eat.

* * *

A/N: for those confused by Yukina not being in a kimono – in the very last episode of the series, she is dressed in a pink dress/brown sweater.

Additionally – I swear that the details aren't insignificant. I was looking at my outline while writing, and after combining several chapter plans to make longer updates, I have 34 chapters fully outlined, and major points for an additional 30. So… you don't have to worry about plot problems, just worry about harassing me (by reviewing!) to keep writing.

At the same time, if it isn't relevant to talk about an entire day, I won't bother to write an entire day – partly because I don't want to write stuff that isn't important at all, and partly because you don't want to read stuff that isn't important, and probably don't want me taking time away from writing the good stuff to write boring-ass fluff.


	10. Chapter 10 - Second Chances

A/N: Ten chapters in ten days! Woohoo! It's probably not to my benefit that right after telling you that chapters will take more time now that they're longer… I give you another chapter. Well, it's not 3,600 words, so don't get too excited.

* * *

I was not a happy camper when I woke up in Japan.

It felt like I had gotten no sleep whatsoever, and unfortunately a shower didn't help me wake up very much. I did note that the products Keiko had brought me smelled quite wonderful, but I was too tired to greatly appreciate them. I didn't bother drying my hair, and just pulled on whatever clothes were on the top of the pile in my wardrobe. Black jeans and a green long-sleeved shirt. I made a mental note to ask about shoes – the only pair I had were my mysterious strappy sandals, and I wasn't very fond of those.

I twirled my damp hair up into a loose bun, and ventured out into the land of the living. Coffee barely took the edge off. I stayed away from the common area, for fear that I would growl at the ever-polite Yukina and hurt her feelings. And then Genkai might murder me.

After my second cup of coffee, I decided to venture outside the temple. _What's the worst that can happen?_, I thought.

If that thought ever runs through your head, you should just turn around and go back to sleep. I'm serious.

I followed Genkai's instructions for a little while, giving the forest a wide berth and wandering around the zen garden behind the temple. I was soon unreasonably tempted by the perfectly harmless woods. _What's the worst that can happen?_, I thought.

I repeat – if that thought ever runs through your head, you should just turn around and _go home_.

The woods around Genkai's temple were a little thicker than I had been expecting, but not more than I could handle. I was used to trekking through woods thicker than this, but with a helmet, heavy boots, and an unwieldy backpack that had the tendency to catch on every overhanging branch. This was nothing. Going barefoot wasn't that great, though.

"And soon they were hopelessly lost in a dark and _very_ expensive forest…" I muttered to myself.

My almost-silent footsteps and I walked through what was probably two miles of forest together. Just my breathing, an occasional rustle of leaves from the wind, and the imperceptible squish of moss underfoot. Squish, rustle, breath. Squish rustle, breath. I stopped to stretch my back for a moment, and the rustling stopped at well.

I froze.

I finished my stretch casually, and fought the urge to run. Instead, I started walking again, casually reaching for a large fallen branch. I used it like a large walking stick, although it was large enough to be a wizard's staff. I gripped it hard with my hand, testing the strength of the wood. It was newly-fallen – still green and hard at the core.

I stopped again, leaning against a tree and rubbing my knee with my free hand. Gee, the rustle stopped as well. Someone was following me.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." I called into the woods in a sing-song voice. It came out much creepier than I had intended, but maybe that worked to my advantage.

_I shit you not_, some kind of _winged-spider-snake_ came flying out of the treetops letting out a truly unholy sound, reaching for me with all of its pointy appendages (sorry, I forgot to count them as they were flying towards my face). Hefting the staff with both hands I twisted my torso and swung the staff with an incredible amount of torque. I know it was a lot, because the flying spider-snake crumpled across the wood, and was thrown through the trees like a home-run baseball. He slammed into a tree, fell to its base, and didn't move.

"Ha _ha_! _Got _you, you creepy little shit!" I danced a little victory jig, but in the middle of my celebration there was a sound behind me. Mid-dance, I turned around and swung my killer-staff at the same time.

Hiei caught it with one hand, and did not appear to be at all fazed in the process. I dropped my end of the staff.

"Whoops… sorry?" Hiei looked past me to the broken flying-spider-snake several yards away. I followed his gaze, and grinned cheekily. "Forest demons aren't so bad, eh?" He snorted. "What? I'm just saying that I can take care of myself!"

"Hn." Hiei tossed the tree branch to one side.

"Thank you, that's very encouraging." Sarcasm needs its own font, I decided, because Hiei then gave me a very strange look. He stared for a moment, then turned on his heel and started to walk away. "_Hey!_" I yelled after him, and to my surprise he did stop.

"Now what?"

"Why are _you_ out here?" It was a legitimate question. I was out in the forest because I had a poor sense of judgment and danger, and a disproportionately large sense of curiosity.

"Hn." His trademark scoff, obviously. "Koenma wants you alive." In my head I did some mental math. My gaze drifted to the flying-spider-snake. For how dramatic Genkai had been, it was kind of small.

"Point taken. Which way to the temple?" I asked.

"You're pathetic. Get back on your own." He turned again to leave, and I wasn't sure what to say to that, and my response probably wasn't the best given that I knew next to nothing about this man.

"Don't be _heartless_! I'm just asking you to point me in the right direction!" I blame the phrasing on my adrenaline rush from hitting the flying-spider-snake. But again, to my surprise, he did stop. "You don't know me, and I don't know you, and we both got a _really_ bad first impression of each other, but…" I paused, as he still hadn't turned to look at me. "Shouldn't we both get a second chance?"

That did it. Hiei paused, and finally said "Follow me."

Hiei walked at a pace slightly faster than I was comfortable setting. I was doing a barely acceptable job keeping up. He never looked back to check on me– but then again I wasn't asking for help, either.

"So, Hiei – how do you keep your dark clothes so dark? My black shirts always fade in the wash." He stopped, turned, and gave me a confused look that almost made me laugh out loud. I managed not to, which was probably for the best. "Just trying to make conversation."

"Hn."

"Very original. I applaud you, sir." I wanted to ask Hiei why he seemed to hate me, but I felt that it might negate the whole 'second chance at a first impression' thing that had made him stop in the first place.

I followed Hiei in silence for the rest of our walk together – did me following him like a lost duckling count as 'together'? I couldn't tell you why I had tried so hard to redefine Hiei's opinion of me. Typically I avoid the type of men who hit women over the head with blunt objects, but in his case I had made an exception. I think that dying changed my perception about a lot of things.

We had been walking for a little while – I wondered if I had really wandered that far out into the woods on my own – and Hiei vanished.

"Hiei?" I called out. _Why did he just leave?_ I wondered. I looked around, and realized that he hadn't actually abandoned me in the forest. Just visible through the leaves of the trees ahead, I could see the edge of Genkai's temple.

"Thank you, Hiei." I felt weird just saying that to the empty forest around me, but I had a feeling he heard me.

* * *

As I emerged from the woods, gleefully thinking I was home free, the ancient voice of death called to me from the temple porch.

"_Dead girl!_"

Genkai.

_Crap._

I walked over to the porch slowly, trying to extend the last few seconds of my life a little longer.

"Hi, Master Genkai." I tried taking Yukina's route with the polite inclusion of her title.

"Did you kill one of the demons in the forest?" That question threw me for a moment.

"Um… with a stick, yeah… was I not supposed to?" Her eyes narrowed, and she stared at me for a long time with her arms crossed behind her back. I do not – I repeat, do _not_ – know how such a tiny woman can be so terrifying while saying nothing.

"Be in the courtyard at sunrise tomorrow." She said with finality, but I mumbled in a response.

"Um – why?"

"We're going to see if there's anything we can do with you, Dead Girl." She spun on her heel as she answered, quickly vanishing into the depths of the temple.

Because that's not _at all_ foreboding.

* * *

That night I laid out sweatpants and a plain t-shirt on the top of the dresser – I am not a morning person, and I would need all the help I could get remembering to be human in the morning.

I was at a point in this strange new life that I didn't expect to dream. I fully expected to lay down in Japan, wake up in America, and vice versa.

I woke up early in America, fumbling around in the dark quickly, trying to silence my alarm clock before it woke John. I hit it in time, and slid out of bed. I stretched, and nothing hurt too badly – I felt good today.

I dressed in comfortable clothes, and kissed John goodbye in the dark. He rolled back over in bed, not seeming to notice.

I got into my car, and pulled out of the apartment parking lot. It was nice to be doing the driving, and to be headed to work – _finally_. I pulled onto the highway, and turned on the cruise control. It took a few more clicks of the button to make it work, and I figured the switch must be getting old.

My mind always wanders in the strangest of ways while I drive, and that day was no different. I was stuck behind a driver going only 50 mph on the highway, and I just gleefully imagine ramming into the back of his car going 65. That thought made me smile and evil and toothy grin.

It probably wasn't healthy that I imagined causing great damage to other drivers on the road, but considering that I had never been in an accident, I didn't pay it much mind. Never had a speeding ticket, and never so much as dinged another vehicle. For all my murderous intent, I was what my insurance company called an 'exemplary driver'. I got great discounts for it. I snickered in my head – I got discounts for imagining destroying other driver's cars.

I came back from my day-dreaming and automatic driving at some point on the highway, and frowned at the clock. _I should have been there by now_, I thought to myself. Had I hit traffic? I didn't remember. I had made this commute hundreds of times, and the drive had never been a memorable one.

I checked the road around me, looking for familiar landmarks or mile markers, and could finally place my location. Somehow, I had managed to miss my exit, and would have to backtrack on back roads. I hadn't missed my exit like that in a few years, and I blamed it on not having driven the route in a while.

I was the first one to arrive at the office, as it had always been. I got there first, unlocked the sticky deadbolt, turned on the lights, and got the coffee maker started.

"Office buildings" for Wildland Firefighters aren't much more than log cabins. Here in North Carolina, each county has its own designated wildland people, although some swing back and forth from structures to wildland, trying to support their families on the extra pay. That being said, there are generally only a few rooms in these cabins – the office of the person in charge, the office of the person who makes the schedule and sends the firefighters out (the 'sucker' who doesn't get to fight the fire), bathrooms, and a common room/kitchen. That's it.

I started the coffee maker with an idle hand, remembering to flip over the glass pitcher before the java started flowing. I was halfway through my first cup of coffee before anyone else arrived.

"Morning, Danny!" I greeted him as he came through the door. I hadn't seen the red-headed crew leader since I left the California hospital, and he was a sight for sore eyes. He looked pretty surprised to see me, though.

"Aria! You're back already?" The tone of his voice put me off for a moment.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" I know it was an unfair question, and he gave me a pretty tortured look in return.

"Of course I am! I just thought you would take a little more time." Danny tried to be jovial, but I could tell what was coming. I tried to shrug it off, laughing.

"Nah, I'm fine. Ready to fight some fires!"

"Well, darlin', you know we always want you watching our backs." He paused, which was not encouraging. "We just want to be sure that you _can_, you understand." I understood. They were worried that someone would get hurt if I couldn't pull my weight. It's a reasonable concern for firefighters, but it always hurts when it's someone questioning _you_.

"Yeah, I understand. I'll stay on dispatch, you won't hear a peep from me."

"Attagirl – you're a real trooper." Danny clapped me on the back, and I tried not to wince. The man had hands the size of bear paws, and I think he managed to hit a bruise.

I pouted at my desk for a good long while as all of the other firefighters arrived at the office. Everyone was happy to see me, but to my great displeasure they also seemed relieved that I was on dispatch.

I toodled around on the dispatch computer for a while, playing video games and surfing the internet for finny cat videos, trying to ignore the sounds of happy firefighters down the hall. With the knowledge that they were all still concerned about my 'delicate nature', I didn't feel like joining them. I had the impression that if I tried I would drown under a further deluge of 'are you okay?"s. Nope. No thank you.

I was somewhere around my 100th scroll through Tumblr when the increasingly familiar sensation of being watched began to creep up the back of my neck. It had never happened to me while in America, and it instantly set me on edge. I stood from my desk, and planned to check out the window, but I never made it there.

My head spun, and the floor lurched beneath my feet. My head hit the floor, and everything went black. 

* * *

I woke up quite violently in Japan; soaking wet and freezing cold. Genkai was standing at the foot of my bed, holding a metal bucket.

"_You… bitch!"_ I screamed, and Genkai flashed me a smug little smile.

"It's sunrise – you're late." She jumped down from the bed, and left, calling over her shoulder: "If you're not outside in two minutes I'm coming back with another bucket!" 

* * *

A/N: Aria gets a little time with Hiei! I'm still making minor plot tweaks as we go, but I'm pretty happy with the dynamics in this chapter.

And – I don't know if you caught it – Aria's home location in America is revealed!

I do promise that this is all building towards – what I think – is a pretty awesome chapter. Think you know what's going on? Review, and tell me what you think!


	11. Chapter 11 - Break Me Down, Build Me Up

A/N: I just want to take a second to thank my encouraging reviewers – you all really make this worthwhile. You might be horrified to read some of the scenes that never make it into the final version, or to know how many times I write and re-write scenes because I'm not satisfied with the realistic nature of the interaction. I strive to make their interactions as believable as possible, and I love that you love to read it.

Thanks again, and here's chapter eleven.

* * *

"I said sunrise, Dead Girl." Genkai snapped as I stepped out of the temple. I had managed to get dressed and somewhat ready in the two minutes she gave me, splashing water on my face in an attempt to wake up a ittle more, even though Genkai had done a fairly good job. I twirled my hair into a bun, smoothing down loose strands.

"Well, apparently you're a pretty damn good alarm clock." I was feeling pretty annoyed, and that was translating into a fair amount of sass coming out the side of the mouth. It's hard to feel intimidated when you're both exhausted and pissed-off. "What the hell are we doing up so early, anyway?"

Genkai snorted in response.

"You're practically useless, but you were capable of killing one of the lower-level forest demons." She picked under her fingernails, and I had the sneaking suspicion that she thought of me like dirt under her fingernails. "I'm curious if anything can be done with you."

I rubbed my palms over my eyes, as if I could massage my brain in the process.

"You said that yesterday, but it still doesn't make any sense." I groaned, and Genkai narrowed her eyes. The tiny, ancient woman _jumped_ into the air, and _flicked me on the forehead_. Somehow, that flick of her fingers was enough force to snap my head backwards. As it did, she landed and swept my feet out from underneath me with a sweep of those tiny little legs. I fell heavily on the pavers in the courtyard.

"_What the shit?!_" I got back to my feet quickly, screaming down at the smirking old lady. "_Have you lost your mind?!_"

"There's something about you that's not completely worthless." She swept her foot around to sweep at my ankles, but I hopped back, and she gave me the smallest of smiles. "And I'll beat it out of you if I have to."

* * *

I lay without shame spread-eagle in the middle of the courtyard. Genkai kicked my foot.

"Get up, useless." I groaned, and tried to remember how to move my muscles.

"I'm working on it, stand by." I muttered, and Genkai huffed. She aimed a swift kick at my head, and I rolled out of the way, jumping quickly to my feet.

"Can you stop trying to kill me for _one minute_?" I cried, trying to keep my hands up in case she tried to punch me in the face, as she had done almost a hundred times already. Over the last several hours, Genkai had run circles around me faster than I thought was humanly possible, punching and hitting me at every opportunity. The old woman was a psychopath.

She would yell things like 'focus on your energy!' as she hit me, to which I would reply almost universally with 'what the fuck are you talking about?. Genkai wasn't very clear with directions as to _how_ to focus on my energy; she seemed to more enjoy punching the living daylights out of me.

To my credit, I didn't just let her hit me with impunity. I tried blocking her punches, and even tried to hit or kick her in return, but she was just on a completely different level when it came to speed, not to mention strength. I would have sworn she wasn't human.

She took another half-moment break from hitting me to yell instructions again; "Focus on the energy inside you, and try to use it to stop me!"

"_How_?!" I screamed back, as her assault started again, but for once she gave me a clear direction.

"Focus all of your thought in your hands – visualize stopping the attack!" She must have been getting pretty fed up with my inability to defend myself. I tried doing what she asked, I really did. I stared at my hands, and tried to visualize… something. It wasn't enough. I was focusing so hard I missed Genkai's next punch for my face entirely, and it snapped my head to the side.

I tried to recover, my arms pin-wheeling a little as I tried to regain my balance.

"Do _something_!" Genkai screamed at me, and with terrible force struck on my forearm with the blade of her hand, and my senses exploded in pain.

She _broke my arm_.

I was writhing on the ground, screaming in agony. It hurt to move, but I couldn't stop moving at the same time. She had hit my arm so hard I could see both of the little bones in my arm had snapped completely, and the middle of my forearm was bent at an unnatural angle.

Genkai was muttering something obscene, and then she was yelling for someone. I couldn't hear. I couldn't do anything but cry and hold my arm at the elbow. My stomach was churning and my feet scraped at the ground – my body was trying to find some kind of appropriate response to the blinding pain. Do something, anything.

I wished, hoped, and prayed that I could just pass out. I just wanted it all to go away. I was not so lucky.

Light footsteps ran across the courtyard, and a familiar figure knelt next to me. A cool hand pushed my hair out of my face, and maraschino eyes looked me over; Yukina.

"Aria-chan, please try to hold still." Yukina said soothingly.

"She broke… she broke…" That was all I could get out between my deep gasping breaths.

"I know, just hold on." Yukina pried my fingers away from my elbow, and took a firm grasp herself. "Hiei-san, take her wrist." I hadn't noticed Hiei, but a warm set of hands grasped my arm below the break. It hurt like hell when he moved it, but I tried not to scream.

They gave me no warning when they reset the bones. I definitely screamed then.

As soon as the bones were set, Yukina's hands began to glow and she held them over the break in my arm. A strong cold wrapped around my arm, and it quickly, thankfully, went numb. The pain slowly faded, and I was able to slow my heaving gasps.

It had been a while since I had broken any bones, but as the pain faded from the forefront of my consciousness I started to think about Yukina's glowing hands. I could focus now that I wasn't blinded by pain, and I experimented wiggling my fingers; no blinding burst of white-hot pain.

Yukina moved her glowing hands slowly over the rest of my injuries, and I could see little bruises fading, and muscles mending. She finished with my face, reducing a bruise that had been developing on my cheek. Her hands stopped glowing, and she helped me sit up.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, and it took me a minute to retrieve an appropriate answer.

"I feel… like new." I poked my arm experimentally where it had been broken only a few moments before. No excruciating agony. "Thank you!" Yukina beamed at me.

"Well now we know you're not a fighter, and not a healer." Genkai said dismissively. "Go get some water. We'll try again tomorrow." And with that, she left. Hiei, who had been watching, also vanished.

Thank. _God_.

Yukina helped me stand, and I wobbled for a moment, adrenaline still pumping through my system.

"You know, in a past life I would have actually considered myself a pretty decent fighter." My voice lilted a little, and I felt a little high from the adrenaline.

"Master Genkai is a very strong fighter – she's defeated many strong demons." Yukina assured me, but somehow that didn't help my damaged pride. She helped me into the temple, and to sit down at the table in the common area. "I'll bring you some tea."

I tried to sit up like a regular person, but I slowly hunched over until I could rest my head on the table. _What a day_…

"Human." I hadn't heard much it, but I could already recognize Hiei's voice when he spoke. I didn't think he had come back to the temple, but apparently he had.

"Do you mean me? I have a name; I bet you remember it." I didn't move from my almost-sleeping position at the table. That would have required effort.

"Hn." The non-descript answer made me sigh a little, and I turned my head without lifting it, so that my chin rested on my crossed forearms, but I didn't have to sit up to look at him.

"Fine – what's up?"

Hiei stood in the open _shoji_ door to the courtyard, hands in the pockets of his coat. _Does he wear that coat every day_? I thought to myself.

"Why did you ask me that?" It was a frustratingly vague question.

"Are we playing the pronoun game? Why did I ask you what?" I was a little annoyed, but it didn't seem to put him off.

"Yesterday; 'shouldn't we both get a second chance?'" He quoted me from yesterday, and I realized what a cheesy question it was when he repeated it.

"Right – what about it?" He didn't' answer and I got the impression he wasn't sure of his own question about it, or he didn't feel comfortable asking. I tried to fill in where he lacked proper questions.

"Everyone should get a second chance – first impressions, new experiences, whatever. No one's perfect the first time around, and it's unreasonable to _expect_ someone to be perfect." I sat up a little more at the table, propping my head up on my elbows. "To learn music, you have to practice over and over again. We don't expect musicians to be able to play beautifully the first time they see the music, but we want people to meet our every expectation at every turn? It's just not realistic."

Hiei didn't respond to my statement, so I continued.

"I like to think that humans – _people_ – can, and want, to change. But if we insist on defining people by our first impression, then we never give them a _chance_ to change; we trap them in our first impression, and judge them when they admit they aren't perfect. It's bullshit – so I give everyone a second chance when they fuck up." I finally sat up the rest of the way, shrugging. "It's never done me wrong. It might someday, but I still think I'll keep the tradition."

I looked to Hiei, whose expression had not changed the entire time I was talking. I smiled, hoping to get some kind of reaction, and made a self-depricating joke.

"I am what my family kindly referred to as 'a sucker'." That got me a snort of amusement. Progress.

Before I could ask him _why_ he had asked about our interaction yesterday, there were light footsteps in the hallway, and Hiei vanished.

Yukina slid open the door behind me, finally reappearing with tea in hand. I thanked her, and she gave me a little smile, and a little bow. She left me to relax, and I was thankful. Somehow, she always knew whether or not I wanted company; I never had to ask to be alone.

I drank Yukina's tea, and sighed.

I didn't want to like it here, but it was growing on me. It made no sense; Genkai was a violent psychopath, and none of the boys trusted me, and they had literally kept me in a closet for a few days… but it was growing on me. I liked Yukina, and the girls, and the quiet of the temple. And I liked the consistency. Sure, there were several things that didn't make sense, but they didn't change. Every time I awoke in America something else was wrong; it was home, and I so wanted it to be right. But something, _something_, was very, very wrong.

* * *

John fussed over me excessively about passing out at the office. He tried to insist that I go back to a hospital, but I flat-out refused. I had spent enough time in a hospital. I bargained with him that I would keep my phone on me all day, and text him every hour that, yes, I was still conscious. That seemed to mollify him, and he left me in the apartment to relax.

I was so tired of relaxing. I wanted to _do_ something. Nothing like the abuse I suffered at the hands of the ancient Japanese psychopath, but something more than TV surfing.

I wracked my brain for some activity or project that would occupy my day. Our apartment was fairly bare when it came to board games, or just games in general. We both typically worked fairly long hours, and tried to make an effort to actually go _out_ when we had time to spend together.

_But… _I remembered a long-forgotten puzzle that we had bought together when we first signed our lease. It was a scene of a farmhouse – it had been our promise that we wouldn't live in the apartment forever, and that we would eventually buy a house and move out of the city.

From what I remembered, that puzzle had been shoved to the back of the top shelf in the closet. Lo and behold – when I went looking, there it was.

I spread the puzzle out on the dining room table, and tried to put my life back together.

I wanted to love my life. I really did. _But_… my mind wandered, _something is wrong here_.

It was hard to ignore the mounting evidence that I must be losing my mind. The walls seemed like the wrong color, the mugs were the wrong weight, the car seats were too wide, and a handful of other details that _only I _seemed to notice. John was completely oblivious to the changes in the world around us, which made me think that it was something wrong with my perception.

_But then_…I thought, _when have I ever heard of that happening_?

I had no frame of reference for my insanity, and no one to talk to.

I called Dr. Allen.

* * *

"It's nice to see you again, Aria." Dr Allen greeted me as I sat at the far end of the leather sofa. He still weirded me out, but he was being paid to listen so I might as well try. He settled into his chair, legal pad at the ready.

"I was a little surprised to get your call; I wasn't expecting to see you for a few more days." He didn't look surprised.

I wrung my hands together for a moment, internally debating how much to say. From what I remembered, he couldn't repeat what I told him unless he thought I was a danger to myself or others.

_Here goes nothing_…

"Since California, I've been having these… dreams."


	12. Chapter 12 - Fly Away

A/N: Hi again, folks. I was really sick on Sunday and Monday, which is why you haven't gotten a new chapter yet. I'm trying to churn this one out as quick as possible, with a possibility of getting one more out before Christmas.

Also – I just hit 172 visitors to my story, which just blows me away. I never imagined that so many people would be _at all_ interested in reading my little story, most of which gets thought up during my commute to and from work.

Here's chapter 12!

* * *

"Look alive, Dead Girl!"

"Ha ha, very funny!"

Genkai was running behind me through the trees with ease. Her hands were even crossed behind her back as she trotted along.

I, on the other hand, was not doing quite so well. I had been a fairly proficient runner before I died, but this was _seven miles and counting_. And she had me running flat out.

Occasionally she would grab a tree branch and swing for my ankles or head. I was supposed to see these coming and dodge. I probably did so about nine times out of ten. I had a few bruises at this point.

We were on our third loop around the temple grounds when Genkai first steered me into the forest. Now we were on our second tour of the dark and mysterious woods.

Genkai was definitely herding me through the woods. If she lunged at my head from the right, I would lurch left. If she came from the left, I lurched right.

I suddenly burst from the treeline, and when I saw what was before my I scrambled to grab onto the last tree.

We were at the edge of a very scary-looking and deep ravine. The sides were incredibly steep, and it was surprisingly wide. It had already swallowed bits of several trees, and a couple of sharp-looking rocks were at the bottom.

"Well _shit_," I mumbled to myself, "I almost died."

"Almost." I heard Genkai agree, and saw her reach for a tree branch.

_Oh shit-_

Genkai swept my feet out from under me, and with no warning, as is typical for the homicidal psychopathic tendencies of Genkai, she took me by the ankle and hurled me out into empty space.

I screamed bloody murder.

_I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie _kept repeating over and over in my head as I screamed, plummeting through open air.

You know how everyone says that your life flashes before your eyes when you think you're about to die? Apparently, that's not true. If it was, I probably wouldn't have thought about what my head would sound like when it would crack into itty-bitty pieces at the bottom.

And just like that, it was over.

I was caught in strong, warm arms in mid-air, and I instantly clung to whoever had caught me. We touched down on the ravine floor with surprising ease, but I didn't let go.

"Let go, human." Hiei's familiar voice grumbled. I then finally recognized the fabric that was clenched between my bloodless white fingers – Hiei's black coat.

"Sorry…" I mumbled, and he set me on my feet. I wobbled for a moment, reaching out a hand to the ravine wall to steady myself. Hiei stayed with me a moment as I steadied my breath. "Why did you catch me?"

He grunted. "Koenma wants you alive."

That seemed to be Hiei's favorite answer for acts of kindness.

"Well, thanks anyway."

Hiei vanished.

"Wait!" I called after him. "How am I supposed to get out of here?!"

And the freakiest thing happened. I heard Hiei's voice, but _inside my head_.

_Figure it out._

Yup. Sounded just like Hiei.

_Jerk._ I thought, trying to focus all of my will into thinking it _at_ Hiei. To my everlasting surprise, he answered me.

_And you're an idiot. _I had the distinct impression that he was teasing me. Well, two can play at that game.

_I guess that makes you an idiot for saving me. _

Hiei didn't reply.

And I was alone at the bottom of a muddy ravine.

* * *

Heights have never really been my forte. As a firefighter out in the forest, there are not many opportunities to experience heights, or have a necessity to deal with them. Sure, there are firefighters that jump out of helicopters, but I am not one of those kinds. I am the kind that stay on the ground and hike seven miles.

I walked from one end of the ravine to the other, just in case there was an easy way out. No such luck.

I picked what looked like the rockiest and weediest wall of the ravine to attempt my first ascension. Having had to descend a few fairly steep hills to put out fires at the bottom, I had always been fond of the extra handholds and footholds provided by rough terrain.

My first ascension did not go well.

Nor did the second.

Or the third. All of my handholds came loose in the slippery mud, and sent me tumbling and crashing back down to the bottom of the ravine.

I sat in the mud, staring up at the ravine wall.

_Fine, _I thought, _we'll do it the hard way._

I moved to the slickest, steepest part of the ravine. There were no convenient handholds, just slippery, lumpy mud. _This will be just peachy_, I thought.

_Just give up._ I heard Hiei's voice whispering in my head again.

_Fuck you_, I replied.

I shoved my foot deep into the mud about three feet off the ground. I gave it a tentative step, and while it slid a few inches, it basically held. I stepped up, putting all of my weight on that foot, and shoved my other foot into the mud another two feet up. I got the same result – while I slid down an inch or two, it basically held.

_Well, whaddaya know_.

I ascended slowly, always testing each foothold before stepping up. I couldn't quite believe that this was going so smoothly. I kept expecting to come unstuck from the wall – that it would shake me loose as all of my other attempts had ended.

My heart leapt into my throat as my worst fear was almost realized. I started to slide significantly as I neared the halfway point. The mud was thinner, and hadn't had time to settle as much as the lower part of the ravine. I sped up my steps, not taking the time to test each step as carefully; I was focused on getting the hell out of the ravine.

I was slipping and sliding all over the place, and I was composed of mostly mud myself at that point. I started to swear like a filthy sailor, screaming that I was not going to let this damn cliff beat me.

I don't know if the mud accepted me as one of its own, but my rate of slippage did not accelerate. While it didn't get any easier, it didn't get harder either.

With one final burst of energy, I almost swam up the rest of the mud, reaching with great enthusiasm for a shrub leaning over the side. I used it like a rescue rope, and physically hauled myself the last five feet, until I sprawled out on the beautiful, _beautiful_ muddy grass at the edge of the ravine.

_Safe_.

Hiei was waiting for me at the top.

"You're stubborn."

"And you're an asshole." He snorted. I lay on the grass, recovering my energy. I probably looked like a demon myself; covered from head to toe in ravine mud, with bits of grass and general muck stuck all over.

"You should have given up." I wasn't surprised to hear him say it, as he had made the comment before my last attempt at ascent, but it made me mad.

I stood, attempting to brush a little mud off my hands in the grass in the process, and fixed him with a serious expression.

"I don't give up. I can't. It's just a part of my nature. I've always been told what I can and can't do, and I don't accept it. I will fight and _fight_ and break every bone in my body before I let anyone stop me from doing whatever the hell I want. I belong only to myself, and only I can tell myself to give up. And I _never will_." It was a passionate speech, and one I had said many times to myself standing in front of a mirror. Sometimes I had been crying, sometimes I had been injured.

"There will always be someone trying to put you down, or treat you like less than you are. Tell them all to fuck off." That being said, I turned on Hiei like lightning. "And who the hell are _you_ to tell me to give up?"

"You're just a human." He said it so simply, so casually; it lit my blood on fire.

"And you're just a fire demon!" He bristled at that. "_See_? See how it feels?" The tone he had used was so familiar, so deprecating. I had heard it many times, but usually in the context of being 'just a woman'. It made me absolutely insane every time I heard it.

"I am stronger than _any_ human. You would do well to remember that." Hiei was angry with me; I could hear it in his tone. But I wasn't about to let this one go.

"Well, I bet I'm better at singing." It was kind of a lame comparison, but I was pretty sure I knew what his answer was going to be. I was right.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He snarled, and I was ready with my reply.

"What does _strength_ have to do with anything?" I'm sure there were plenty of times in both of our lives, but it wasn't _everything_. There was so much more to _living_ than just brute force.

"This argument is idiotic."

"You're the one still arguing with an idiot!" He growled deep in his chest, and vanished.

* * *

When I finally made it back to the temple - no thanks to Hiei - I had the longest and most glorious shower in the history of hot water. Swear to god. I wanted nothing more than to stay in the bathroom for the next week, but apparently the capacity of the water heater had other ideas.

I went to the kitchen to get a hot drink, and glared at Genkai on the way out. She smirked at me, drinking her tea.

"Welcome back." She greeted me.

"No thanks to you, crazy." I muttered, and she actually gave a small laugh. _Definitely_ crazy.

Yukina caught up to my long strides as I left the kitchen, and was kind enough to bless me with those glowing hands again. Yukina was definitely my favorite person here. She relieved me of my aching muscles, the bruises on my face and legs, and left me feeling just a little less frustrated.

I thanked her profusely, and she just gave me that little smile, and little bow. The woman was a saint.

I sat in my bed, towel-drying my hair, and wished I had something to occupy my time. The puzzle I was working on back in America, for example.

I loved that puzzle, and it was such a shame that it had gotten lost-

I froze.

I had lost that puzzle. When we moved apartments several years before, the puzzle had gotten lost. I had looked everywhere. It had never turned up.

_So how was I putting it together in America?_

* * *

"Are you putting the pieces together?" Dr. Allen asked me, and I was pulled out of my thoughts. I had been focused on the cracks in the leather couch, and how they reminded me of a bar code.

"Excuse me?"

"You mentioned things have been hard for you since coming back – that you feel fractured. Are you putting the pieces together?" It was such a strange turn of phrase; not one I would have chosen offhand.

"Yes…" I said slowly, trying to smile. "It's been difficult, but I think I'm figuring things out."

Dr. Allen smiled, scribbling something on his legal pad.

_Everything is fine_. I tried repeating for the hundredth time in my head. It didn't work.

Everything was _not_ fine.

* * *

Dr. Allen and I made another appointment for the next day, as he wanted to take more time to discuss the strange dreams I had been having. I left his office quickly, almost jogging to my car. I rushed driving home, and was almost surprised I wasn't pulled over for speeding. That highway was famous for its speed traps, but I had yet to see a single cop car.

I rushed up the steps of the apartment, fumbling with my keys. I stopped just before putting the key in the lock, staring at our front door.

_Wasn't this door blue? _For some reason, the green door before me seemed odd. I knew that it had always been green, but a part of my brain was screaming _blue! Blue! _I finally placed the memory – the door to the house in the _puzzle_ had been blue – but what happened next made me drop my keys, and clutch at my heart.

The color of the door – for just a moment – had been blue.

* * *

A/N: And if that doesn't set your hair on end, nothing will.

I know that the time she spends in America is getting shorter, but I'm trying not to linger there if it's not necessary.

A tiny part of the feminist in me loves the dialogue between Aria and Hiei in this chapter. I've always had an issue with Hiei/OC stories where the human is completely helpless all the time and has no issue being defenseless. I also have issues where the human always has to develop strong powers before the relationship can evolve. Basically – I have issues where the woman's worth is tied to her abilities.

My little rant is over now.

Until next time!


	13. Chapter 13 - I Can't

A/N: I am so sorry that I haven't posted anything in a few days – this chapter has been killing me, and it may be hard to believe, but this chapter was originally meant to be _four_ different chapters. Merry Christmas.

* * *

I hit the ground. Again.

"_Get up_!" Genkai yelled. On shaky hands and legs, I stumbled to my feet, holding my hands up in a defensive position. I tasted blood on my lips – I had split my lip on the pavers this time around.

Genkai had made me run the gamut. We had run the forest a dozen times, with her smacking me left and right. We had played a sadistic game of hide-and-seek, where if she found me I got clobbered with a stick. We had meditated, and every time I shifted around she would hit me on the forehead with her tiny, angry hands. And now, we were back to combat.

I was a mess.

One eye was swollen shut, and a cut over that eye was bleeding profusely. My hands, arms, torso, legs – let's just say everything – were bruised. I think I had a cracked rib. Genkai had been getting steadily more violent during the day, as if that would somehow make me manifest my hidden energy.

It wasn't working.

"Focus on your energy, and visualize a barrier." She gave me a few seconds to focus – to work around the fuzziness creeping at my senses from repeated blows to the head. I tried, I really did. My head ached already, and the intense focus I was applying to the image of a barrier definitely was not helping.

No barrier appeared.

I expected her to vanish and knock me over, but she didn't move. Genkai glared at me from across the courtyard. "You are a failure."

I didn't reply. If I did, she would seize the opportunity to clobber me over the head again. I probably had concussions on top of my concussions.

She turned away from me, and walked back to the temple. "We're done."

I didn't move. I was waiting for her to disappear again and hit me. She didn't. She just calmly walked into the temple, and slid the shoji door shut.

I waited, barely standing and bleeding all over the place, for her to return. I was met only with birdsong and breezes.

_You can move, human. _I head Hiei's voice in my head, but I stayed still, hands up in my defensive position. He appeared suddenly before me, and I tensed; ready.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hit you." He snapped. He put his hands over my fists, and lowered them. I was shaking and unsteady on my feet. "Go sit down before you fall over, stupid."

"Stop calling me that." I mumbled. "I may not be able to use my energy like Genkai wants, but I'm not stupid."

"Hn."

I walked on my own to the temple porch and sat heavily on the polished wood. It felt amazing to sit down, and I heaved a sigh, quickly followed by a wince of pain from my cracked rib.

I wanted to completely collapse on the porch, but my rib wasn't going to have any of that.

"You know," I addressed Hiei, "if you want to be nice, you could get me an ice pack or something."

"Hn." He vanished, and I sigh/winced again. So much for getting an ice pack.

I sat alone, contemplating the ache settling into my bones. I wanted to get up, to clean up at least a little, or to just get something to drink, but I couldn't find the motivation to move.

Light footsteps and a tiny gasp signaled Yukina's arrival. I tried to smile in her direction, but I don't think it helped much.

I love Yukina's glowing hands. They're my favorite thing.

She moved from my broken ribs to my swollen eye, then sealing my split lip with one tiny glowing finger. My bruises faded, and my muscles relaxed.

Have I said that Yukina was my favorite person? It bears repeating.

"Are you feeling better, Aria-chan?"

"I'm certainly feeling less cracked around the edges." I gave Yukina a tired smile, which she returned with her little smile, and little bow.

I appreciated Yukina more than I let her know. She didn't force her presence on anyone around her, but she was always available when Genkai broke me in half. She closed the shoji door behind her, and I was alone on the porch once more.

Or so I thought.

"She would have stopped, if you asked." Hiei had a bad habit of disappearing when other people were around, but then reappearing to harass me, it seemed.

"Don't you have a dark corner to lurk in?" My barb managed to miss him entirely.

"Humans are weaker; quitting only confirms what we already know." Hiei's casually submissive nature was definitely not friendly. What a jerk.

"I told you; I don't quit." I snarled. "So fuck off."

"Hn." And he vanished.

I flopped back onto the porch, and spread out my arms on the smooth planks. I wondered how on earth someone like Yukina and Hiei could exist in the same universe; a saint and an aggravation. And somehow, both seemed to be fond of me.

I was so damn tired.

* * *

I lay in bed in my apartment for a long time, just staring at the ceiling. I tried to imagine it changing pattern or color, like what had happened with the door, but nothing happened.

Had I imagined it?

I was certain I hadn't.

I dressed slowly, going through the motions of being a normal person. I made coffee and breakfast, and sat at the table, looking out the window to the world outside.

Everything seemed okay.

I tried to imagine how a door could change colors for a hair of a moment. I thought about a whole range of possibilities, and it briefly included color-changing mood paint. I was a child of the 1990s, what can I say?

The apartment I knew so well was _almost_ right, in so many ways. Things I had ignored for years seemed _almost_ where I left them, or _almost_ how I remembered it. It was just wrong enough to be disturbing on a number of levels.

As I made coffee, for example; the coffee maker had been broken a number of years back, and while it still made coffee it always made a clicking sound when it dispensed coffee. And while I had never really paid attention to the sound, it was noticeably absent now.

I wanted everything to be fine. I wanted the coffee maker to click, and the mugs to be heavy, and the door to stay green and the wall to be the right color. I wanted to go to sleep in America and wake up in America. I wanted certainty.

But I couldn't be sure.

"How are you today, Aria?" Dr. Allen's question was simple. He was dressed in the grey clothing that made him blend in with the walls again. He looked up from his notepad, and gave me an expectant look.

I wondered if I was being unreasonably suspicious of this man. After all, none of his questions were out of the reasonable realm for a therapist to ask.

"Aria?" He was waiting for an answer.

"I'm very confused." I finally replied. I thought about uncurling myself from the corner of the sofa, and decided against it. What little comfort I found in being far away from the therapist was helping me to talk openly.

"Why is that?" Another very reasonable question.

"I feel like things are just… wrong?" I answered vaguely.

"Like with your dreams?" He probed again.

While I had told him that I was having peculiar dreams, I had yet to discuss the actual content. I had told Dr. Allen that my dreams were very realistic, and that they featured an alternate life where I had died. Beyond that I went into very little detail. He was intensely curious about my dreams, that somehow it was the key to helping me 'overcome the trauma of the fire'. But oddly enough, I didn't feel as though the fire had 'traumatized' me. I would say that I thought about it roughly as often as I thought about potatoes.

That's not often, by the way.

I dodged the question, and he pitched again; "And how is training going?"

Not for the first time, he had an odd choice of phrasing. My mind jumped instantly to my training with Genkai, which he could not possible be referencing.

"What?" My eloquent response.

"To get back in the field again?" I supposed that made sense. It turned his curious phrasing into an innocuous and reasonable question. But again – it disturbed me.

"It's difficult, but I'm doing my best." I wondered if I could curl up any tighter on the sofa. He nodded, and scribbled something on that legal pad.

I wondered if it would be poor form to rip that thing out of his hands, dump it in the wastebasket, and set it on fire.

Hmm.

It might set off the smoke detector.

Maybe later.

"Focus your energies." He interrupted my train of thought again.

"What?" Now I was sure his phrasing was odd.

It sounded _just like_ what Genkai had been yelling at me for three days.

"I'm sure if you focus all of your energy on it, you'll recover quickly." And again, his rephrasing turned it from a curious turn of phrase into a reasonable question.

"Thanks for the encouragement; I'll do my best." He returned the answer with a little smile. It didn't reach his eyes. In a way, he reminded me of Kurama; he had a subtle yet predatory presence that was unsettling to say the least.

While I considered that I might be injecting my fears onto a perfectly normal person, I had subjected myself to enough, I thought. I resolved that I wouldn't be coming back to this office.

Because, after all, everything was fine.

_Everything is fine._

* * *

Without Genkai to abuse me, I found myself in a self-abusive mood. I rose early, had coffee and breakfast, and was out in the courtyard not long after sunrise. I sort of expected her to appear and hit me over the head, but she didn't.

Without the crazy old lady directing me, I started to return to my roots. I stood in the courtyard, trying to remember the steps.

"What are you doing?" My personal headache addressed me. He had appeared in the usual way on the Temple porch, leaning casually on a pillar.

"Remembering." I replied tersely. "If you don't mind, this is difficult enough without an audience."

He stepped down from the porch, approaching me in the center of the courtyard.

"And that is?" I glanced at hi, intending to glare, but he looked genuinely curious. In a Hiei sort of way, I supposed.

"It's an Okinawan style of martial arts called _Uechi-ryu_. I studied it for several years, and I find it soothing, not to mention effective." I smiled a little, adding "That motion I used to throw you when we first met is from this style."

He snorted. "That won't happen again."

"I'm sure."

He stood there, still watching me as I adjusted my feet into the proper positioning.

"You look ridiculous." There was that casually demeaning tone again. I would have thrown my shoe at him if I thought it had a chance of actually hitting him.

"So there's never been a time in your life when you didn't have your sword, and were weakened by battle? There's nothing to be lost by adding to your skills." I honestly believed that to be the truth.

"Hn."

"Well, I'm going through the motions. You're welcome to stay." I tried to ignore him, and focused on my own body.

_Set yourself, breathe, and… hands up. _

As always, when I began a kata, my worries and aches fell to the sidelines.

_Step, and strike_.

As always, the few minutes I spent in kata provided me with peace. I couldn't think about my job, or my bills, or whatever other little aggravations nagged from the sidelines.

_Turn, and block, now strike._

It heightened my focus, and gave me relief from my daily woes.

_Block, kick, draw down, strike._

Hiei watched me go through a round of the kata named _Seisan_. There is a quick jump and strike at the end – interestingly enough, the same move I used to throw him when we first met.

"That's how you did it." Hiei picked up on the move, commenting as I finished the kata with the customary bow.

"Yes. It took me a long time to be able to do this without fear." I took a moment to catch my breath – I was a little out of practice. "For my test, the practice sword we use that's made of light bamboo wasn't available, and so my partner was swinging at me with a solid oak practice sword." I laughed a little at the memory. "I was terrified that if he missed, or if I didn't jump high enough, that he would break my ankle."

"How long did you train?" Again, Hiei surprised me with his apparent genuine curiosity.

"Ten years. It sounds more impressive if I leave out the fine print that I took a four year gap in the middle. It took me a while to be able to test for my Shodan – black belt – because I kept getting hurt during training."

I would have said that I had several scars to show for it, but they were oddly absent from my body in Japan.

"Show me something else." _A 'please' wouldn't hurt… _I thought to myself.

"Well, okay." What could it hurt? Hiei didn't seem to think much of me, and I had the opportunity to teach him something.

"The basic of basics is preventing yourself from getting hit at all. You are to be almost ether, and allow the enemy to exert all their energy while you are happily relaxing beyond his reach."

"Sounds too easy." _Must… not… think mean thoughts…_

"Hit me – at human speed, please. I don't want to burden Yukina with more broken bones." Hiei obliged, thought a touch faster than I would consider 'human speed'.

Blocking basic punches involves first shifting your stance to take your center line out of the direction of the punch. Second, There is a direct block – while many styles will either catch the arm or hand directing the punch, this style applies very light pressure to the side or top of the arm – just enough to redirect the blow just past your body.

These actions, while there are two steps, are done almost simultaneously. When done properly, your opponent notices very little except that you are no longer in their line of fire.

"Again." Hiei declared, and I readied myself.

He punched again, and again, and again. I continued to block. Hiei wasn't getting angry, just repeating the punches, trying to analyze my movements.

"Do you want to try? I know you could just do your super-fast movement thing, but…" I let the statement hang.

He stopped punching.

"Okay – remember, human speed." That being said, I went for him as fast as I could. Initially, he blocked too hard, and didn't step out of the way. I gave him correcting notes, and he listened intently. With every round, he got better. I attributed some to his many years of past training, but he was also trying.

We worked on that one block for thirty minutes, until Hiei seemed satisfied.

"What else?"

I couldn't help it – I laughed. "There's a lot more."

* * *

At the end of the day I sat on the porch of the temple, oddly reminiscent of my last day of training with Genkai. This time, though, it was different. Hiei sat on the porch with me.

"Here." He handed me a bottle of water.

"Thanks." I would probably need the better part of a lake to re-hydrate, but the olive branch was nice.

I wasn't sure why Hiei spent time with me, why he talked in my head, or why he was offering me this tiny gesture of kindness. He was a complicated creature, and his interest in this one stupid human perplexed me.

"Hiei?"

"What now."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"If absolutely necessary."

I paused for a long time, contemplating my exact phrasing.

"What's your question?" Hiei asked; I guess I took a little too long.

"It's just… I thought you hated me?" It sounded like such a middle-school question, but it continued to confuse me. Hiei had been a significant presence in my life for the last few days, while our first interactions had been rather… negative.

"I think nothing of you." _Ouch._ I was just about fed up with Hiei's condescending tone.

"Well this _nothing_ just taught you something useful." I crossed my arms over my chest, and flashed a confident smile.

I really should have just left the conversation where it had started – thanking Hiei for the bottle of water. I really shouldn't have tried to sate my curiosity. But that was my weakness – my curiosity. When it comes to questions, I just can't let up.

Hiei's friendly demeanor faded quickly, and he sneered at me.

"Hn. And now you have no further use to me."

He vanished.

* * *

A/N: Hiei is a complicated creature, no? If you're at all interested, go ahead and look on youtube for Uechi-Ryu and Seisan – there are some neat instructional videos.

Thanks for your patience and support while I plunked out this long chapter. Please review!


	14. Chapter 14 - Neither Here Nor There

A/N: This chapter went through a number of different versions before I settled on this format. I appreciate your patience as I worked out the kinks! I know that the flow in this chapter can be a touch confusing, but the idea is you get some sort of the same level of confusion as the character herself. I also know that it's not terribly exciting, but it will pick up in the next chapter, I promise.

Annnnddddd I should probably apologize for not posting in like… a week.

* * *

I poured my laundry into the washer, indiscriminate of color or care instructions, and added an adequate amount of soap before slamming the lid down. Hiei's inconsiderate actions had left me a little steamed around the edges, and I was taking it out on the poor washing machine.

Grumbling something foul under my breath, I turned the little dial, and pretended for a moment that it was a miniature voodoo of Hiei's neck. I didn't hear any gurgling screams from the underbrush, so I guess it didn't work.

I made sure the machine was running before I went to the kitchen – I can't tell you how many times I have hit "power" instead of "start" on a washing machine. It's embarrassing, really.

I almost ran over Genkai, who was on her way out of the kitchen with her tea. I could only imagine what horrible thing she might have done to me if I had stubbed her toe or something.

"Uh, hi, Master Genkai."

"Dead girl." She greeted me with her customary grunt. I tried to keep my face from twitching. _How hard is it to say 'Aria'?_

"I'm just curious – where _is_ everyone? I haven't seen Kuwabara or Yusuke – not to mention Kurama – in a while." I had seen neither hide nor hair of them any of the days Genkai had been training/beating me.

Genkai slid the shoji to the common room open with her foot, and without bothing to turn and face me I could tell she had a sour look on her face. "They were here when we thought that you were dangerous. Now that we know you're completely useless they don't need to check on you." And with a _swish_ of the shoji she was gone.

Surly old woman.

* * *

I poured my laundry into the washer, indiscriminate of color or care instructions, and added an adequate amount of soap before closing the lid. I shook my head a little, trying to rid myself of the feeling of déjà vu. _This is the apartment laundry_, I reminded myself, _not Genkai's. _

Although, spookily enough, it seemed like _somehow_ both my apartment complex and Genkai had managed to purchase the same brand and style of washing machine. What are the odds of that?

I turned the dial, and almost hit the "power" button instead of "start". I shook my head a little, trying to wake up a little more, and hit the right button.

I generally liked doing laundry in the early mornings – no one else from the complex was in the common area, and I could occupy the one lonely chair next to the door and read in peace. Ordinarily I would have taken a cat nap, but I didn't want a repeat of the last time I napped – the middle of the night at Genkai's temple is a little creepy.

I settled into the chair and opened my book – _Lucifer's Hammer_ – and began on a familiar page. I love that book so much; a giant asteroid slams into the earth and it nearly kills every person on earth. Such a cheerful book. Ha ha.

I like books where people have to pick up the remaining pieces of their lives and forge it into something new. I found the idea particularly attractive now, as I had too many pieces and not enough _me_ to fit it all into.

I stopped reading for a moment, shifting in my chair uncomfortably. I fought to ignore the sensation that someone was watching me; Hiei wasn't here, and 99.9% of the time I thought I was being watched it was his fault. And besides that – the laundry room here was in a basement with no windows, and I was sitting next to the door.

But I just couldn't shake the feeling.

I shifted in my chair two more times before I gave up on reading entirely. I left my laundry churning happily in the machine, hoping that it wouldn't be stolen before I remembered to go back, and retreated to the comfort of my apartment.

I sat on my sofa, wrapping myself in my favorite blanket, and tried to ignore the world. I couldn't work, I didn't want to talk to anyone, and John was at work. I wanted to be one with the sofa. Maybe I was behaving like a five-year-old, but I really didn't care.

I went back a little later to move my nearly-forgotten laundry to the dryer, and almost tore the laundry room apart trying to _find _the damn stuff. Some good Samaritan had moved my things to a dryer already, but had failed to mark it in any way. As I pulled the laundry from the dryer I wondered absently who else in the building did their laundry so early in the morning.

* * *

I had almost forgotten about my laundry entirely. I pulled my laundry out of the dryer and heaped it on top of the machine, folding each item carefully, and pairing my socks to make sure the machine hadn't eaten any. I kind of preferred the little laundry room in Genkai's temple to the laundry dungeon in America.

_If I get a chance, I need a laundry basket_, I thought to myself. Of all the things to miss…

I had a nice, neat pile, and shuffled doors open expertly with my foot as I carried it to my room. The stack wasn't high enough to obscure my vision, but I paused before walking through doors, just in case the tiny, surly old woman happened to be going by. Luckily, she did not appear. Apparently laundry day does not merit insults.

_Is that you?_ I thought, trying to direct my thoughts.

Hiei appeared in my doorway without replying. I smiled in greeting, then remembered that I had been mad at him the previous day.

"What are you smiling at?" Hiei picked up on the curious action.

I laughed just a little, and shook my head. "It sounds strange to say, but I'm just happy you answered me." He gave me quite the peculiar look, which only made me smile more. "You know, I bet you're the only person in the world who knows where I am all the time." I shrugged. "It seems that way, at least."

"I could care less what you do or where you are." There was Hiei with his condescending tone again. But I was getting used to it, and refused to let his tone bother me.

"Perhaps, but you still _know_. I think you even care, if just a _little_ bit." I was stretching with that last bit, hoping to get just a little comfort from the stoic and surly fire demon.

"Nonsense." He muttered, and vanished.

I was a little surprised. Of all the strange and sideways comments Hiei had made about my worth or lack of intelligence, that was probably his weakest comeback. It gave me hope.

* * *

I was pleasantly surprised that evening when the temple came alive with activity. I could hear Yusuke and Kuwabara fighting long before I could see them, so it was no great surprise when they came into view at the top of the temple steps. I was surprised, however, to see that Kurama was also accompanying them, but keeping a safe distance in case fists started flying.

Yukina and I greeted them from the temple porch. Kurama breezed past me with a quiet "Good evening, Aria.", but Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped for a proper greeting. Yusuke and I both shared a grin as Kuwabara turned into a ball of mumbling mush in front of the tiny Yukina, and a delicate blush crossed her pale cheeks. It was really quite cute.

"So Genkai beat you up, huh?" I raised an eyebrow.

"How can you tell?" Yukina had healed me at the end of every session, and I had yet to find a phone anywhere in the temple.

"Your spirit energy is still pretty low." Yusuke stretched, putting his hands behind his head. "When the old bat was done with me, my energy had grown a lot." He grinned, and clapped me on the back. "But I guess you're harmless!"

I know he was trying to be nice or comforting or whatever, but I responded with a sour "gee, thanks."

"Look on the bright side – since we don't have to worry about you, I can give Botan and Keiko the go-ahead to take you out on the town." Now _that_ was good news.

Lost for words, I jumped down from the porch and leapt on Yusuke with the biggest and tightest hug I could manage. Generally, my superhugs make people's ribs creak, but Yusuke seemed generally immune to my muscular power. He did laugh, and patted me on the back awkwardly.

"Hey now, I didn't know women went this crazy without shopping!"

"You're a jerk, Yusuke." I muttered around my superhug.

"You're wasting everyone's time, detective." Hiei interrupted our special bonding moment. He looked especially surly. I could see Kurama and Koenma in the room behind him, already seated at the table. _When did Koenma get here_? I wondered to myself. _And what is he doing here?_

Yusuke patted he on the head, and I released him with a "thanks, Yusuke,"

"Don't mention it." He stepped up onto the porch, grabbing Kuwabara by the ear and dragging him into the common room.

"Come on, idiot." Hiei ignored Kuwabara's yelps and complaints completely, just stepping lightly to one side. He glanced at me, and I smiled, holding my arms open.

"You want a hug, too?" I asked jokingly. He made a disgusted face, and closed the shoji door roughly. I don't think he got the joke.

* * *

I have a curiosity level that would put cats to shame. After Hiei slammed the shoji door nearly in my face, I could still hear just a little bit of their conversation through the walls, and I heard the little TV hum to life.

"Okay…" I muttered, "_now_ I'm curious." I walked around the corner, and saw that they may have closed the doors, but had left the window open. I crawled under the windowsill, and listened in to their secret meeting.

"-need to take this more seriously, Yusuke!" That was Koenma, chastising him for a comment I didn't hear.

"This is overkill! Who cares if some nobody demon is wandering around the human world?" Definitely Yusuke. "You just told us he doesn't really have any powers, so why are you worried?"

"Does he look _harmless_ to you!?"

Now truly dying of curiosity, I slowly peeked over the windowsill, enjoying my super-sleuth moment. Koenma, Yusuke, and Kuwabara were seated at the table, and Hiei was leaning against a wall in his typical fashion. Koenma was gesturing to the TV, and the face on the screen-

My mouth dropped, and I clapped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming.

_What the hell_ ?

_What the hell?!_

I dropped from my peeking position, and lay flat on the wood. My heart felt like it was about to crawl out of my throat, and my legs had turned to Jell-o.

_What the hell is going on?_

* * *

They stayed in that common room for a long time afterwards, until night had settled well and comfortable around the temple. I had retreated to my room once or twice, the second time retrieving a large and warm cardigan sweater to ward off the night's chill.

I avoided the common areas as I heard everyone leaving, as indicated by the loud sounds of arguing that seem to follow Kuwabara and Yusuke wherever they go together. Long after everyone had gone, I went back outside, hoping to find some answers in the night sky. I could have just gone to sleep, but that seemed more disturbing than staying awake as long as possible.

I sat outside the temple on the porch, swinging my feet in the air. I stared up at the moon and stars as clouds obscured and revealed them. Without a sound to alert me, the familiar sensation of being watched made me aware of Hiei's presence.

"Won't you join me?" I didn't avert my gaze from the heavens above, just patted the wood beside me. There was no response, and I thought maybe he was just passing through; that I was alone again.

"Why are you awake, human?" I glanced at him, having suddenly appeared standing on the porch beside me. I didn't think that he _would_ join me, and I was almost surprised to see him.

"Maybe I'm lonely. Maybe I'm crazy. I haven't decided yet." I laughed bitterly, and drew my sweater tighter around me.

I was starting to hate this place. I wanted to love it, but it was really challenging everything I thought I knew about my life, both past and present. I had been happy, _really_ happy, and now I was stuck wandering around the same sections of a little Japanese temple over and over and over and over again. That alone was enough to make _anyone_ insane, and on top of that I kept going back to my _real _life, which for whatever reason wasn't _quite_ right.

I had almost forgotten Hiei was with me on the porch until he spoke.

"Tell me." Even though his words themselves were rough, he sounded almost…concerned? I let out a tiny laugh.

"Who are you and what did you do with Hiei?" He glowered, and I put my hands up in apology. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired." _Emotionally, physically, psychologically exhausted, to be exact, _I thought to myself.

I wrestled with myself – in rare form, Hiei was offering to listen to my crazy situation, but that meant revealing possible insanity. But at the same time, I was just too tired of keeping everything to myself.

_Here goes nothing…_

"After you and I met, and you hit me over the head, I woke up back in America. Everything was fine; I wasn't dead, and I thought I had dreamt this whole thing. Everything was fine for just a few minutes. Then I went back to sleep, and woke up in Genkai's temple."

All of the sharing was making my adrenaline rush, and I was getting fidgety. I stood as I talked, swinging my arms a little and playing with my hair. It was all I could really do to release my mounting distress.

"Every night I go to sleep here, and wake up in America. Every night I go to sleep in America and wake up here. I wake up in America, and I can see my friends, my family… I even see a therapist who's 'helping me through my trauma' from the fire." I rolled my eyes at the thought. "Who sees a therapist in their own dreams?" Hiei tilted his head a little and I explained briefly; "A therapist… talks to you about issues in your life, and helps you come to terms with them."

"That's stupid." He grunted.

"Hey, you asked..." I flushed a little with embarrassment.

"Continue." He urged me on (with as much enthusiasm as he could, I suppose).

"Uh right. I feel like I'm going insane, but my home _seems_ right, and everything here _seems _right. But I just can't tell. Am I just having really realistic dreams? And how can I tell _which one_ is real?"

I looked to Hiei, who was watching me intently "So… what do you think?" I thought he might say I was crazy. I thought he might say that I was dangerous. I thought he might call me a 'stupid human', or any of the other typical Hiei actions. But he said nothing.

I was suddenly aware of how close I was to Hiei, as he was standing in front of me. _When did he stand?, _I thought. I had been too wrapped up in my confession to notice. There was maybe two feet of space between us, and I could feel his body heat radiating in waves, warming me in the freezing night. He didn't move closer, but he didn't pull away. He stood there, hands in the pockets of his coat, bathing me in his radiant warmth. It was nice.

"This is real." He said quietly. His tone wasn't gruff or angry; just simple and honest.

"How can I _know_?" I struggled to find my voice. He thought for a moment, and replied.

"Here, things aren't what you expect." I thought about that. It was a solid statement, but not one that I fully understood.

"Can you… explain that a little better?" I fiddled with another lock of my hair. He was making me a little nervous, being so close.

"Hn. You say you're not stupid, you figure it out." And then, in perfect Hiei style, he vanished.

Alone on the lawn, with Hiei's body heat gone, the cold rushed in with terrible vengeance. I scampered back into the temple, slamming the _shoji_ door behind me. I padded to the kitchen, looking for something warm to chase the chills away.

"Can't sleep?" Genkai was already standing in the kitchen, nursing what must have been her 10,000th cup of tea. I swear the woman was probably composed of surliness and tea. But that was no reason to not attempt civility.

"Yep. Any more of that tea around?" She nodded to the pot.

"It's got tequila in it." She warned.

"Sounds like my kind of tea." I poured an extra-large mug. Genkai raised an eyebrow.

"Rough night?" It was my night for sympathetic ears. I shrugged, sipping my tea. Scratch that – it was tequila with a tea chaser.

"I think it's safe to say I've had a rough time of it in general since I died." She grunted in affirmation, and we drank our tequila tea in silence together. It was nice.

The tequila soon did its job, and I stumbled back to my comfy bed. I burrowed under the blankets, and let myself drift away. _Tonight_, I thought, _I get answers._

* * *

A/N: What did Aria see on the TV? Why is the world topsy-turvy? The time has come! In the next chapter, you get (some) _answers! _


	15. Chapter 15 - Shattered

I woke up in America with John pressing the back of his hand to my forehead. It was late in the morning, and he had a look of kind concern. "I was worried you might not be feeling well."

I stretched lazily, and ran my fingers through my tangled hair. John liked it long, but it was getting a little out of hand.

"Can you call in sick today?" I asked, yawning. "I haven't seen much of you lately." He chuckled, and shook his head.

"Sorry, I have a big project that I need to work on. I'll see you tonight, ok?" John kissed me on the forehead, and I reached out to squeeze his hand. "Don't stay in bed all day."

I pouted in bed for a little while after he left, then puttered around the apartment in my pajamas for a while. I made coffee, then splurged by making pancakes, and tried to occupy myself in a good bad movie; _Plan 9 from outer space_.

There is a fair amount if mindless activity you can use to occupy yourself when you're avoiding real responsibilities. True, I had deliberately gone to sleep to try and find answers tonight, but I just didn't want to get going.

I got dressed in warm and comfy clothing – it was starting to get pretty cold here – and ventured out into the world. I wrapped my scarf around my neck, tucking the ends into my jacket. I jumped a little as the home phone rang, but I ignored it and rushed out the door, further avoiding responsibility.

I walked to the open-air market down the street, snuggling my nose into my scarf and clenching my fingers in my mittens. It was colder than I had expected, but not the coldest it had ever been. It was a perfectly average winter day. The sidewalk was as bumpy as I remembered, and for a little while I lost myself in the perfect familiarity of the neighborhood. Everything was exactly as it should have been.

I had always loved weekends at the market. As hippy-dippy as my hometown could be, I greatly enjoyed the stubborn nature of farmers when faced with the winter. They would stick it out outside as long as they still had fruits and vegetables to sell, but grumble and go home when it finally started to snow.

I had a favorite farm, too; Hickory Nut Gap. I found their familiar booth, but when I peeked around the corner I didn't see a familiar face. There was a tiny woman – almost small enough to be called a girl – standing where I usually saw a friend.

"Where's Andy?" I asked, and she turned huge eyes on me.

"She's sick today, so I'm filling in for her."

"I haven't seen you here before She definitely didn't look familiar. Her corn silk-white hair was poking out of her lumpy knitted winter cap, and her pale, pale eyes were just a little too large to look normal. She was a tiny little thing, but had sharp features and an intense owl-like stare.

"Well, I'm new. My name's Mishka." She held out an apple in both tiny gloved hands. "Apple?" It was kind of a creepy story-tale moment.

"Uh, I think I'll just take the veggies today, thanks." I threw a few winter squash into my reusable bag, and she rang me up. She gave me my change, and wished me well, but those huge owlish eyes never quite held the smile. I left the market quickly.

_Is this all it takes?_ I thought as I walked swiftly back down the sidewalk. _Is this all it takes to rattle me?_ Even as I thought it, the streets and buildings around me started to develop that wrong-ness. Awnings I didn't recognize had appeared, and buildings were the wrong shapes. I tripped on an unfamiliar section of sidewalk and stumbled, almost falling onto the concrete.

I regained my balance, and for a moment was completely lost. The street had changed completely, and I would swear I wasn't even in the right town. I shook my head, trying to clear the confusion, and when I was still again my town was back. The street was once again familiar, and I took off. I started running, and the wrongness followed. What had been familiar was now unfamiliar, and it was only getting worse. The world was falling apart.

I ran up the stairs at the apartment complex, not willing to wait for the elevator, and struggled to force the key in the door. I rushed inside, and slammed the door behind me.

Safe?

Leaving the groceries on the kitchen counter, I walked slowly, heavily, over to the couch. I wrapped myself up in my favorite blanket, curled up on the couch, and had a good cry.

I couldn't just ignore the world, it seemed. No matter how hard I tried to believe that I could be just insane, the instability of the world around me was like nothing I could imagine. I wanted to be safe here. I wanted to live here, and never go back to Japan.

_Do I really?_

It was an odd thought, or realization, or whatever you want to call it. I had spent a fair amount of time in Japan, and had made little attachments to people. If it was possible to stay in America forever I at least wanted them to know I was safe. Keiko and Yukina and Kuwabara genuinely seemed to care about me and my wellbeing. Yusuke and Genkai…time would tell. Koenma and Kurama – definitely not.

And Hiei.

_Hiei._

I rolled his name around in my thoughts, trying to figure out what he meant to me. And for that matter, what did _I_ mean to _him_? He had been so awful to me… and then he had been so kind.

An unusual chill washed over me, and I burrowed deeper into my blanket. I wanted to forget everything, and just focus on my blanket. I loved that blanket.

I had owned that blanket since college, and knew every stitch like my own fingerprints. It was a beautiful blue, red, and white southwestern print. Someone had once told me it was a vintage Ralph Lauren pattern, but I didn't care about brands. It was mine, and I loved it. It was big enough for a pillow fort, and small enough to wrap all the way around me and help me forget the world.

The blanket did its magic, and I slowly began to relax. After an hour of a conscious unclenching of each finger from around the soft material, I reached for the TV remote, and tried to find something to watch. I could ignore the world a little longer if I was distracted by daytime television.

* * *

That was how John found me when he came home; curled up on the couch in defeat, with warm groceries on the counter. I really didn't care.

He came over to kiss me, and when I didn't move at all he just kissed me on the top of my head again, and the scent of sawdust washed over me. It was one of the perks of being engaged to a carpenter; he always smelled amazing.

"How was your day?" He asked, moving the warm groceries to the fridge without comment to their abandoned status.

"Fine." I muttered around my was checking voicemails on speakerphone, and I heard a familiar voice. "_Hi, this is Dr. Allen calling for Aria. You missed our appointment today, and I'm hoping everything is alright. Give my office a call to reschedule, and I look forward to seeing you again."_

"You missed your appointment?" He didn't sound mad, but I could tell John was cross with me.

"It's no big deal – it's just one." I sat up, and the blanket fell loosely around me. Without the cocoon of warmth I was quite cold, and contemplated just burying myself back in the blanket.

"You're still recovering – it's important that you go!" He was definitely mad now. John hadn't really been one to press personal issues like this one, and his frustration was confusing.

"I'm fine, so please just drop it!" I couldn't think about Dr. Allen. I couldn't think about him, or his face. I had seen him here in America, but it was the face I had seen in Japan that frightened me. How I wished I had never peeked in that window, and how I wished I could forget his face.

Dr. Allen was a monster. Dr. Allen was supposed to have red eyes and horns that protruded from the sides of his head, right where his hair refused to lie flat.

Dr. Allen was a monster.

Dr. Allen was a _demon_. 

The significance of that fact did not escape me. I was trying to ignore it, but it unsettled me. I'm sure that if I were to _ask_ Dr. Allen, he would say that I was demonizing him in my dream because I don't like him, which was not uncommon or whatever.

I could picture him both ways; just sitting in that stupid chair and almost blending into the generic walls of the office, or glaring at me through the television screen with his piercing eyes and large ram's horns flaring out from the sides of his skull. I could see them both in my mind's eye, and I wanted to see nothing. I wanted to remember nothing. I wanted to _be_ nothing.

I was lost in my thoughts when there was a sharp knock at the door. John went to answer it before I could stop him. I lurched up off the couch, worried it might be the demon I feared it could be. As John opened the door, though, I saw familiar black hair and coat. While one fear flickered out, another burst to life.

It was Hiei.

As much as I wanted to be surprised, I wasn't. He stood awkwardly in the doorway; not entering the apartment, but not leaving.

"Do I know you?" John asked Hiei, who only glared at my fiancé.

"It's ok, John – it's for me." I almost ran to the door, and patted John on the arm. He gave me a peculiar look – I don't blame him – and went back to the kitchen, leaving me with Hiei.

"_What are you doing here_?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice down.

"You called out for me." He sounded confused, and I didn't blame him. "It took some time to find you – your energy was masked."

"Please – just _leave._" I didn't want John to hear this – heck, _I_ didn't want to be hearing this. Hiei was ruining everything. If he kept talking, there would be no way to fix it, no way to just let things be. I wanted to be ignorant. I wanted to be peaceful. But Hiei wasn't about to let it go.

He finally stepped into the apartment, tony angry. "Don't you know what he's doing to you? I know you saw his face. I could sense you at the window – I could _feel_ your fear." He was looking around at the apartment behind me. "Is it everything you expected? Everything you hoped for?" I tried to block his view with my body.

"You don't know what you're talking about." At that he let out a short, barking laugh.

"I know _exactly_ what I'm talking about." His eyes narrowed, and the truth poured from his lips. "You wanted this so badly you would have given _anything_ to go back. But some things aren't quite right? That's because _you_ can't remember every single detail of your old life, but you can tell when it's not _right_. You're _letting_ this happen because you can't _let go_." His gaze flickered to my fiancé, who, at the harsh tones, was coming to my defense at the door.

"Honey, what's going on?" John touched my shoulder, but I didn't acknowledge him. Hiei was glaring at him to fiercely I was scared for his safety.

"_He's not real!_" Hiei almost yelled, but I stood squarely between the two men.

"He's all that I have!" I replied. Hiei's jaw clenched.

He vanished, and horror washed over me. I turned in what felt like slow motion, and caught a last glimpse of John's face moments before Hiei's katana cut him down; concerned, and confused.

He didn't crumple, he didn't bleed, and he didn't scream. He just vanished like smoke – fading from the point of the katana as swiftly as ether. 

Gone. 

Hiei's sword struck the bare wood floor. 

"As I said – he was not real." Hiei said quietly.

I was still staring at the last point where John had stood. He had been right there. He had spoken to me. He had touched me with familiar hands, and spoken with familiar tongue. He had smelled right.

He had been _right there_.

With a roar of fury I launched myself at Hiei. He flickered out of sight, but somehow I knew where he would be when he reappeared – I guess I knew because it was _my_ dream – and managed to tackle him to the floor. I straddled him, and began to punch him in the face, over and over again. I was screaming, screaming in agony and fury and pain.

It was all gone.

Hiei had ruined everything.

My hands began to crack and bleed with the force of hitting him over and over again, but I couldn't stop.

The walls of the apartment began to literally fade away – just as John had – until we were left in a void. The lack of sound in the emptiness was pressing at my eardrums, and the only thing filling the space was the sound of my howls of agony. 

And then I woke up.

I was lying on my bed, in my room at Genkai's. It was still dark outside, and I had the feeling Hiei had woken me up to make me stop punching his face in my dream. I stared in silence at the ceiling. 

Gone. 

It was all gone.


	16. Chapter 16 - Drink With Me

A/N: I kept my little ramblings out of the last chapter entirely, but that last chapter was a beast. I'm also amazed with the number of reads and reviews I've gotten since posting that chapter. Without further delay – enjoy!

* * *

In the morning I rose at my usual time. I pulled my belongings from the drawers, and stuffed them into their original plastic shopping bags. I made the bed, and turned off the lights as I left the room.

I walked quietly down the now-familiar halls, past the kitchen, and through the common room. No one stopped me. In fact, I didn't see a soul.

I found my tiny prison room just as I had left it; one lonely chair, and one small futon mattress. I set my belongings on the lonely chair, and sat on the futon, leaning my back against the wall.

Home, sweet home.

I shook with unshed tears.

I had no point of reference for my loss. Was it a loss? The real loss had been another eternity ago, back when I died in the river. Everything I had lost last night was carefully strung together by a demon psychopath with horns who apparently had nothing better to do than roam around inside my dreams.

There was a knock at the door. I didn't answer, but it opened anyway.

"Aria." It was Kurama. He moved my bag of clothes from the chair to the floor, and occupied the chair. "I hope you understand the position you've put us in. I need to know if you told him anything about us."

"Did Hiei call you?" I asked quietly.

"In his way, yes." I nodded in understanding, but stayed silent.

I kinda hated Kurama. He was a beautiful sort of man, but nothing that came out of his mouth seemed to be the complete truth, or even close to the truth. He was manipulative, predatory, and suave; a terrible and frightening combination. In my opinion, Kurama was a beautiful sociopath. So I said nothing.

He was unsympathetic to my defeated body language; to my hunched shoulders, empty eyes, and red cheeks. He showed me no kindness, and offered no comfort. If he had not been in the room I probably would have cried by now. But I wouldn't show that kind of weakness in front of a predator.

Kurama was not an idiot. He knew I didn't like him, and it didn't take long for him to understand I wasn't talking to him.

He left, and I heard the door lock behind him.

I had nothing left to give. I imagine I looked like a lonely felon in solitary confinement; sitting on my tiny mattress on the floor, back to the wall with gaze slightly elevated, staring at nothing. My legs were crossed, and my hands in my lap. I didn't feel bored or confined. I didn't feel anything.

I had nothing left.

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey." It was Yusuke. He came inside and occupied Kurama's seat, shutting the door with his foot. "You're not stupid; you know Kurama sent me in here because you won't talk to him." He sighed deeply. "And if you don't talk to _me, _Hiei's next."

"Hiei's next no matter what I say." I mumbled. "You have no reason to trust me."

"True. But it would be better if you talk first."

I was silent for a long time.

"I didn't say anything about you." I said quietly. "I just said I was having dreams where I had died. I never… never really trusted him. So you have nothing to worry about."

"Okay." He rose from the chair, leaning back for a moment to crack his back. "That chair is awful…" He mumbled.

"What's his name?" I asked, stopping Yusuke in the open door.

"Who?"

"The demon – what's his name? I just – I need _something._"

Yusuke hesitated, turning the doorknob once or twice while he thought about it. "Taisho. His name is Taisho." I mumbled a 'thanks' to his back as he closed the door. A moment or two later, I heard the door lock click.

I could vaguely hear the sounds of muffled conversation from the common room. They must have been arguing fairly loudly, as I couldn't remember having overheard conversation from that far away before.

_Gee, I wonder what they're arguing about_, I thought sarcastically. I wondered who was winning the argument. In a state of semi-delirious psychosis, I made up a dialogue in my mind of who was arguing for what.

Kurama wanted to skin me alive as an example for the demon – _we won't tolerate a breach of our security_. Koenma wanted to throw me in jail forever. Kuwabara thought it wasn't my fault and everyone was overreacting. Yusuke wanted to leave me in this room while he made up his mind. And Hiei…

_Hiei_…

I couldn't quite put my finger on Hiei.

The argument down the hall rose to a crescendo, and there were sharp, quick footsteps in the hall. Hiei entered the room without knocking. I could see Kurama and Yusuke in the hall behind him before he shut the door. Yusuke seemed somewhat anxious about leaving me and Hiei alone in a small room – that he might hurt me. I didn't care.

"Hi." I greeted him flatly.

He didn't return the greeting. In fact, he looked utterly livid. I don't think I had seen him so incensed since the day we met. "Close your eyes, and clear your mind." He snarled.

"I didn't tell him anything." I replied, and his eyes narrowed. I think they were even glowing a little.

"Clear. Your mind." I sighed, and complied, leaning against the wall and trying to relax. A purple glow emerged from the darkness, and the world shifted.

Just like before, I stood with Hiei in the midst of my memories. But unlike before, he did not go slowly; Hiei and I flickered through my memories at a rapid pace. I didn't have time to watch myself die again, or wake up in the hospital, or fly home, or make coffee, or anything. It was a blur of familiar colors and faces.

I saw repeated flashes of Dr. Allen's face, and John. I saw my puzzle; that was supposed to be lost. I saw the coffee mugs that were too light. And I saw my own face, over and over again, staring at people or objects that just weren't right.

And I blinked, and it was over.

We were back in Japan.

Hiei hadn't moved from his spot just inside the room. I looked up at him from my reclining position with a tired expression. I could tell he wanted to say something – the furrow in his brow was deepening with a question unasked.

"I wanted it to be real." I answered before he asked. "That's why I didn't say anything."

"I don't care." He snapped.

"Okay." I didn't have the energy to argue. I was an empty shell of a woman; bereft of happiness or meaning. I just didn't care. He left the room, slamming the door behind him. The lock engaged.

My made-up dialogue was complete. Hiei wanted to burn me alive just to hear me scream. Because Hiei hated being wrong.

* * *

I was alone in that room for a long time. I never moved from my spot on the futon, and my gaze hardly traveled more than a few inches in any direction.

I had tried to hold on to everything, and I had lost everything. I should have realized sooner that the world I loved was wrong in so many ways. I should have accepted that maybe, just _maybe_, someone here might have been able to help me. I should have known to end it sooner. I should have known. I should have cared.

Late in the evening, I heard the lock disengage, and the door opened. It was Genkai. She didn't bother coming into the room. She just stood in the hallway with her hands crossed behind her back, glaring into my tiny room.

"Well?" she barked. "Come on. You're not a mop, get out of the closet."

"Are you sure?" I asked, even as I was standing. "So what's the verdict? Is it to be the gallows or a firing squad?"

"Don't be dramatic, nothing's happening to you." She turned and walked down the hall, and I followed quickly after. We entered the common room, and I noticed a distinct absence of familiar faces.

"Where is everyone?" Not that I wanted to see mistrusting glances at every turn, but it was an odd absence.

Genkai was seated at the table already, pouring herself a cup of sake. "They're in the Demon World."

"Looking for Taisho?" I sat down across from her, and she shot me a quick glance, and a small smile.

"Sharp; yes." She didn't elaborate, and I didn't push the topic. I shifted, uncomfortable with both my position on the floor and my next question.

"So what's next for me?" After my brief interrogation and memory-search this morning, I had basically been left alone. I was sort of hoping for more yelling or punishment, but nothing had come. It had left me in limbo.

Genkai huffed. "Nothing. For now. You stay here, and don't go anywhere." Nothing new, but nothing satisfying. I leaned on the table, resting my head on my arms, and stared blankly at the surface.

"I think everyone hates me. Or wants me dead." It was a self-indulgent and pitying statement, but it summed up my feelings about the moment. And Genkai really didn't care.

"Don't be stupid. They don't care that much." I didn't react, and just blew a strand of hair out of my face.

"Gee, thanks."

"They're more worried about what it means that a demon has such interest in you." Now _that_ interested me. I sat up straighter, trying to appear alert. It sort of worked.

"What do you think it means?"

"I don't know." A very satisfying answer, indeed. Again, Genkai didn't care to extrapolate. There was silence for a moment, and I slipped back into my self-pitying state.

"They were angry with me." I stated.

"Kurama wasn't angry. If he was angry, you would be dead. Yusuke would only be angry if someone _were_ dead." Genkai refilled her sake cup, not bothering to grace me with a glance.

"And Hiei?"

"Hiei's angry. He voted for you to be put in prison. Or killed. He didn't show a preference. " I tried to imagine what prison would look like. Would it be a Spirit or Demon prison? How long did he want me there? Would I have _ever_ gotten out? My throat dried up at the thought. I tried not to think that he also considered just killing me.

"So I've ruined everything." I sighed, and it certainly seemed that way.

"It can be fixed, but you aren't worth it." With her same dismissive tone and light sip of sake, Genkai declared me worthless.

"_Excuse me?" _I almost yelled across the table.

"You were unapologetically human and weak, but defended how that didn't make you any less of a person. Now you're just a limp noodle of apathy." She shrugged dismissively, and I bristled at that.

"I'm _not_! It's just a lot to handle, and – " She interrupted me, fixing me with an intense stare.

"Then _get angry_. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere. So get angry, get even, and get over it." She set down her cup with a 'clack', and stood, although it didn't make much of a height difference. "No one is going to hold your hand. Nobody cares that much. The only person you can count on is _you_, and you were so sure that _you_ were enough. Now you have to prove it." She crossed her hands behind her back, and left me alone in the common room.

I'm not sure what I had expected from the grouchy old woman. I had wanted a little sympathy, but she wasn't about to dish that out. True – I had been strong-willed when it came to my worth. True – I had demanded equal standing with a smile. And true – I had wanted to belong.

Genkai said it could be fixed. But I would have to want it. And it would be tough to earn back. I wanted to wallow in my grief. I wanted to cover my head and sleep until the world ended. I wanted to run into the forest, wailing my sorrows until a demon came and killed me. I wanted to give up.

But I never give up.

_Well, fuck. _I thought.

I reached across the table for the sake, and on an impulse took a second cup. I poured until it was almost full, and set it at the place next to me. _For John_. I poured for myself, and toasted with the lonely cup.

"To life," I muttered, "and all of its fucking challenges."

* * *

_Drink with me to days gone by  
Can it be you fear to die?  
Will the world remember you when you fall?  
Could it be your death means nothing at all?  
Is your life just one more lie?_


	17. Chapter 17 - Secrets

A/N: Hi, readers. I just want to thank everyone who left reviews encouraging me to keep writing. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm making the best decisions for character development, but I also want to keep it as realistic as possible. Alright folks, for your patience and encouragement I made this chapter a doozy, with one hell of a plot twist. Enjoy!

* * *

I awoke the next morning with an unjustly intense hangover. I moaned in pitiful agony at the tiny rays of light spreading across the bedspread, and my head pounded with the moan.

"What the hell, liver?" I groaned, addressing the organ to blame. "Did you forget all of that practice in college?" Genkai's tequila-tea hadn't bothered me this much a just the other night. But then again – I hadn't drunk five cups of the stuff.

I rolled out of bed like a beached whale, and tried to remember where the bathroom was.

"Coffeeeee…" Because hey, let's get our priorities in line here.

I shuffled into the kitchen with eyes almost completely shut, and started rummaging around for a mug, and the Keurig.

_Oh, that's right. Wrong house._ There was no Keurig here. My emotions threatened to surge – _sadness, lonely, go back to bed_. Nope, nope nope. I opened the fridge, grabbed the carton of orange juice, and focused intently on pouring it into a glass. I thought only about juice. Orange juice. _This _orange juice.

I found in the past that focusing on individual tasks helped me ignore my problems. Focus on juice. Focus on cleaning. Focus on shower. Don't think about the past. Don't think about friends.

It helped for a little while, and every time I thought I was going to be overwhelmed by sorrow, I would start counting the lines in the wood floor. The strangling feeling in my throat always went away by the time I reached 15 or so. I was coping.

* * *

Genkai was appropriately surly when I ran across her late mid-morning, but she did opt not to call me "dead girl". It was a small kindness, but I appreciated it greatly.

"You're in my way." She grunted, as I had stopped in the doorway to count lines in the floor again.

"Whoops, sorry." I jumped out of her way before she could trip me. She grumbled as she passed me. "Genkai, what's today?"

"Thursday." She grunted.

"No, I mean what's the date?" I have never asked, after coming to Japan.

She paused. "April 14th. You got here in the end of March."

"Wow… I missed all of winter." How had that happened? Genkai was leaving without comment, and I started to follow. "Wait! Is there anything I can do around the temple?" I needed something to _do_ to take my mind off of things.

"_No_." She called back. I jogged after her, refusing to leave her be.

"Maybe I can start something? Like a garden?" She was definitely starting to get annoyed. Her eye twitched a little in annoyance, and then – oddly – a small smile crept across her face.

"There's a clearing between the temple and the forest you can use. Now go away."

I stood in the hallway watching after her for a moment, confused. Nothing good ever came from a smile like that.

"Well," I sighed, "this should be awful."

Between the back of the temple and the woods, there was a wide strip of grass. It got enough sunlight, and the soil felt moist, but not soaked. It certainly looked like a perfect area for a garden, but that didn't seem like Genkai's style.

Within five minutes of starting to rip up the grass and turn the dirt, I realized her plot. It was backbreaking work. Genkai had been kind enough to select a section of earth that was riddled with large stones. I would hack into it with the hoe, and rattle my bones from head to toe every time I struck a rock. I would have to switch tools, dig around the rock, haul it to the side of my field, and fill in the hole with surrounding soil.

I worked my way methodically across my future garden, digging and turning a strip two feet wide, and thirty feet long. Sixty feet square. In those sixty feet square, I was transformed. I changed from a peaceful lady dressed for the slightly chilled morning air, into a sweaty, swearing, partially stripped disgruntled five year-old. I swear I had plenty of clothes on when I started. I ended up in jeans and a sports bra. My figure was nothing to be ashamed of, and it was better than heat exhaustion.

It felt good to flex my muscles. I twisted in place, cracking my back before I started the second row. It was just as difficult as the first. I felt the skin of my hands sliding against the wood of my tools, and knew there would be blisters later. With each rock I moved out of the soil, I grew more and more angry. Have you ever turned soil by hand? It's horrible.

The second row was kind enough to produce full blisters. The third row ripped them open. And on the fourth, they bled openly.

I stood at the foot of the four rows. 240 feet square.

"One more, I think…" I was definitely a glutton for punishment.

And so I started on the fifth level of hell. I was only a few feet in when I was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"What are you doing?" I ignored Kuwabara's voice for a moment, continuing to dig around a smaller-sized rock.

"I'm baking a cake." I answered in a surly tone.

He laughed a little, but only briefly, and I looked up. Kuwabara was filthy, with a freshly developing bruise on his cheek.

"Oh my god – what happened?" I dropped the shovel, scrambling up from my spot in the mud to look at him more closely.

"Ahhh, don't worry about it. Yusuke leaves bigger bruises than this one." He grinned cheekily. "Look, we know you're a little busy, but we need to borrow you."

"Why?"

Kuwabara rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Well, we have a lead, but he won't talk unless you're there. We tried. I need you to come with me to the Demon World."

My voice was suddenly weak. "…Taisho?" Had they caught him so quickly? Was it normal to catch someone so quickly?

He shook his head. "Nah, we're not that lucky. It's this crazy demon that calls himself the Architect."

I was a little disappointed, but also relieved. "Um, sure. Do I have time to wash up?" I was coated in a fine layer of mud, thicker in some places. Kuwabara flushed bright red when he finally realized I wasn't wearing a shirt. He turned around quickly, looking up at the sky.

"Uhh… we only have a little time – can you just throw on a shirt?"

"Why so rushed?" I grabbed my shirt from the grass next to row two, and tugged it over my head. I wiped the mud on my hands on the grass as best I could.

"Yusuke doesn't want you and me there after sundown." Kuwabara was trying to rush me along.

"Why just us?"

"Aria-" He sighed, exasperated.

"Just tell me why!" I was more desperate for answers than I had ever been.

Kuwabara finally gave in. "Because we're human. And lots of demons _eat_ humans." I stopped for a moment.

"That's not at all comforting."

He grinned a little, and pointed with a quick thumb over his shoulder.

"The next part's a lot worse."

I peered around Kuwabara's wide frame, and viewed my horrible future.

An oval shape was hovering about a foot above the ground in Genkai's courtyard. But it didn't have any solid lines. It turned in space like a galaxy, with lighter edges and a dark heart of indigo and black. I put out a sound like a hurricane, but muffled. It blew out wind in every direction, making the grass around it ripple like water.

"Our portal to Demon World," Kuwabara supplied.

The portal was the freakiest looking thing I could ever imagine. It reminded me of a black hole swallowing a galaxy.

Kuwabara and I were walking towards that uncertain darkness. The sound didn't increase as we got closer, but stayed exactly the same. The wind also stayed perfectly constant, and carried a faint odor of decay.

Kuwabara stopped me just a few feet from the whirling death spiral.

"I almost forgot – stand close to Yusuke when we cross over. His energy should keep you safe from the air, so don't go wandering." I nodded, unable to find the words to respond. "It's easier if you just jump through – it's really awful, but it's fast." I nodded again.

I hesitated to leap, though.

"Do you want me to go first?" He offered.

"No… I'm ok." I murmured, and took a hesitant step towards the portal. _Ten seconds of courage_, I thought to myself. _All I need is ten seconds of courage_…

I took two long steps, and jumped into the void.

I passed through a thin barrier , and into a long tunnel. I was floating in the air in that tunnel as it turned around me – or was I the one turning? I wanted to be sick, but the space around me was so interesting and beautiful to watch that I couldn't focus on my churning stomach. I reached out a hand, but couldn't reach the sides of the tunnel. I spun around to see behind me, and saw that Kuwabara wasn't far behind me in the tunnel.

I smiled, and he grinned back.

I spun around again, and saw a pinpoint of light quickly growing into a bright, spinning galaxy before me. Before I was ready, I passed through that circle of light, and stepped onto unfamiliar soil.

And then we were through.

Yusuke was waiting for us right outside the portal. He looked much better than poor beat-up Kuwabara. His hands were casually tucked in his jeans pockets, and his hair wasn't even mussed.

"Hey!" He greeted, offering me his arm.

"Feeling like a gentleman, Yusuke?" I asked as I took his arm.

"It's a reminder for you – don't go wandering. Demon World air is toxic to humans." I nodded in vague understanding, and Kuwabara stood on my other side.

We walked through a wood that looked unlike any forest I had ever seen. The trees were wide at the trunk, but short on height, and were oddly colored. The familiar browns and greens were tainted with reds and purples, and thick mists lingered at the corners.

I felt very small between Yusuke and Kuwabara. They were both fairly tall – with Kuwabara a head taller than Yusuke, easily. They walked with great confidence, both glancing only slightly to each side as we walked through the dense forest – very aware of their surroundings.

Before coming to Japan, I would have described myself as confident. But as a cat walking between two lions I felt very delicate. I was only 5'6", but I had been accustomed in my life to carrying half my body weight up a mountain on a regular basis. It had almost always been necessary to tie and tuck my auburn hair under a damp bandana, and under a helmet. Were it not for the occasional moments out of the smoke, I'm sure there were a large number of firefighters who would never have known I was a woman. I didn't talk much, and fire-proof clothing doesn't hug curves very well.

I was accustomed to being a woman among a large group of men, but this was different. I had virtually no power here, and depended entirely on these men to protect me. I didn't like it.

We emerged from the creepy forest, and very suddenly came upon the wide maw of a cave. No light seemed to pierce it, and I tried not to extend the visual of a mouth.

We stood for a moment at the mouth of the cave.

"Ready? Try to stay quiet, okay?" Yusuke asked.

My arms wrapped tight around Yusuke's, I nodded sharply. "Yep. Let's do this."

Upon entering the maw, we were engulfed in near-total darkness. The gloom had weight, seeming to block out any light trying to pierce it. We didn't have far to go, and soon stopped.

"She's here." Yusuke announced with force into the darkness of the cavern.

A strange figure walked into the light – or rather, his body moved along ten spider-like legs into the light of the cavern. Its body and face were a sickly green, shimmering blue in places. Brown pustules littered mottled skin. On its tiny head it wore large, thick glasses. It had large bat-like ears, and needle-like teeth protruded from a wide, leering smile. The demon wore a butcher's apron, and it was stained with what looked an awful lot like blood. Thin, long arms stuck sideways out of the obese body, and long bony fingers pushed the glasses higher on its wide nose.

"Excellent." It rasped. I clung tighter to Yusuke's arm, and tried not to stare too long. Kuwabara took a half-step in front of me, partially blocking the demon's view.

"Now talk."

In the gloom to either side of the Architect, I could see Kurama's vibrant hair, and a faintly glowing set of red eyes. It was little comfort with that awful creature staring at me. It blinked jaundice-yellow eyes, and pointed with one bony finger at me. "My proudest moment – my shining glory – was creating what you see before you."

Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest, and jutted his chin out.

"You're shitting with me."

"The Lord Taisho brought me images of this little creature, and commissioned a copy to be made." He giggled a little. "I informed him that while I could copy the flesh, the soul was not within my power. He replied that I was only responsible for flesh."

His fingers wiggled a little in excitement, and my spine shivered in disgust.

"It took me many months. To create a perfect copy, I had to spin sinew over bone, weave muscle, and organs around familiar paths. Muscle has memory, so you must carefully examine the character of the creature you are seeking to recreate." The Architect had been speaking to Yusuke, but that yellow gaze soon settled back on me. "You, creature with the wild heart; you were a challenge for me. I greatly enjoyed assembling you."

"Hey – don't talk to her! You talk to us!" Kuwabara put a little more of his frame between me and the Demon, and I still clung to Yusuke's arm. The yellow gaze dragged away from me, and to Kuwabara.

"Not long after I finished the vessel, the Lord Taisho brought me a soul." The statement appeared to give him immense satisfaction. "I had never seen a soul surviving outside of flesh for so long. Lord Taisho kept the soul whole for several days outside of flesh, I am told."

"Get back to the point." Yusuke interrupted.

"Yes – the soul rejected my perfect creation. It wouldn't take the copy, so with his own incredible power he sealed the soul inside the flesh. It took only a few moments, but I witnessed the soul and flesh unite, and my beautiful creature took its first breath."

_Sealed the soul… my soul… inside a copy._

I wanted him to be lying. I wanted it all to be a giant lie. But it made too much sense. No tattoos. No scars. A liver with no memory for alcohol. My loss of time.

"Why." My voice was stronger than I felt. The Architect's jaundiced eyes moved to me, and that wide mouth split open in a sinister grin.

"Money, and power."

"What does that have to do with me?" I swatted at Yusuke's arm as he tried to quiet me. "I don't have any money."

He chuckled deeply, and the grin widened. "Oh, but you do, little mouse." That chuckled continued, and grew into a bellowing laugh. It rang around me, and though I tried covering my ears it penetrated, making me feel sick.

I turned and ran, still covering my ears, and could tell the moment I left Yusuke's protective aura. The smell of Demon World grew almost overpowering – rotting flesh and blood – and I barely made it out of the cavern before heaving in the bushes.

I spat, trying to clear the taste of vomit from my mouth, only to have the scent of Demon World threaten to make me vomit again. I closed my eyes, focusing on just breathing in and out, even with the terrible smell.

_One… two… three… four…_ I counted in my head, focusing hard. The scent of Demon World faded, and it was replaced by a subtle pine smell, and a blanket of warm air around me.

_Hiei._

* * *

A/N: Aaaaaaaand that's all you get! Review and encourage me to keep writing!


	18. Chapter 18 - Buried

A/N: I spent a fair amount of time on youtube just watching videos of Hiei. For… research. Yeah. As it turns out, he is so much chattier than I remember! In many fanfictions he says almost nothing, but he was a sassy little demon! And the scene where Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei are arguing over who will fight Shishiwakamaru in the Dark Tournament and decide with rock, paper, scissors had me in fits of giggles. If you don't remember the scene, go find it.

Quick note – I fly out on business tomorrow, and I will do my best to type up the next chapter while I'm there, but no promises!

Without further delay – chapter 18!

* * *

_Hiei_.

He stood just far enough away to seem indifferent, but he was protecting me with his aura.

"Hi." I said weakly. He didn't answer, but just stood there, staring at me. "What?"

"Go back inside."

"I just need a minute." I spat into the bushes, clearing a little more of the taste of vomit from my mouth.

Hiei grabbed my arm, and yanked me roughly towards the cave. He was furious with me, and it definitely showed. "You were careless enough to run out here, and now every demon in a mile radius is going to come looking for what smells like _human._ If you don't go back inside _now_, I'm going to leave you here and _let them_ eat you!" He was yelling, and shaking my arm.

I yanked my arm out of his grasp – it was strong, and I was going to have a bruise – and shoved him away from me. "Jesus Christ, Hiei! I know you hate me, but you don't have to be such a prick! I just found out _two days ago_ that everything I thought I knew was a lie, and I'm trying _really hard_ to hold it all together!"

I stopped to take a breath, but got my second wind of fury. "And I'm _so sorry _that you're angry, but I didn't do any of this on purpose, and I didn't do it to hurt you or anyone else! So _cut me some fucking slack!" _He didn't respond to my screaming tirade, and I didn't care.

I stalked off, back into the cave. I didn't care if he did, but I knew without looking that Hiei followed a moment later, becacuse that faint scent of pine followed, warding away the stench of Demon World.

If I had been a fire demon like Hiei, I'm pretty sure I would have _actually_ been on fire. I navigated my way through the familiar darkness, until Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and the Architect came back into view.

The scene was as I had left it. Yusuke shot me a concerned glance, but I didn't hide behind him or Kuwabara. I planted my feet broadly, and crossed my arms over my chest. The Architect looked straight at me with a smug smile.

"Taisho sewed my soul to this body." I stated frankly.

"Yes, little mouse." He confirmed.

"Why?"

He smiled wider, and shrugged his fat shoulders. "It's not for me to say."

He had answers, I knew it. "I think you know, and I think it's in your best interest to tell me."

That sinister grin split his face again. "And what do I get in return?"

Kurama answered first, which was probably best. "We let you go free."

He considered it for a moment, and reached into the pocket of his stained and bloody apron. I heard Hiei unsheathe his katana quickly, but the Architect didn't produce a weapon. He had retrieved a small glass vial filled with a clear liquid.

"Catch, little mouse." With a casual toss, he lobbed it in my direction.

I tracked it through the air, holding my hands out to catch it, but with a flicker of black it vanished completely. _What? _I whipped my head around the room, and while Hiei hadn't appeared to move, he was now holding the glass vial.

"Nice try, Architect." Hiei vanished, and a half-moment later the Architect was screaming. Hiei appeared another half-moment later, flicking purple blood from his sword. He had cut off two of the Architect's spider-legs. "That will teach you not to play tricks next time."

The Architect flopped over, the force of his incredible girth actually shaking the ground beneath my feet. His screams blended into a high-pitched keening wail. Yusuke grabbed me by the arm, and started pulling me out of the cave. "Come on – you don't want to see this."

"But I have more questions!" I was fighting him, pulling against his grip – what _was_ it with these boys and their vice-like grips?

"If you don't move, I _will_ carry you." Yusuke's voice was scaring me, and I acquiesced. We broke from the darkness of the cave into glow of early evening. I was about to protest my sudden removal, when the Architect's screaming very suddenly ceased.

I turned to look into the darkness, but Yusuke spun me back around and gripped my shoulders, locking a gaze with mine. I wasn't used to such a serious look on his face, and it startled me. "You need to _listen_. This is serious, and we're already really behind on the curve. You need to understand that the rules for demons are _different_." He sighed, loudly, and exasperated. "Ahhhh I hate being the bad guy…"

"Ok..?" I was thoroughly confused.

"Look – I just need you to trust us until we get this all figured out; can you do that?" I nodded slowly, and Yusuke seemed somewhat satisfied.

We leapt into the void of the portal again, returning to the safety of Genkai's temple grounds.

* * *

With nothing else to destroy but my own body, I returned to my garden. I picked up my tools exactly where I had left them, and struck into the fifth line with renewed vigor.

I struck a rock, again, and sank to my knees, digging at it with my hands. I didn't bother with tools, just clawed at the earth until the stone was loose enough. I kicked at the rock with the bottom of my foot, simply shoving it out of the row.

I was so angry.

I was running through the earth at twice the speed of the other four rows, and my muscles were starting to burn very painfully. This pace wasn't healthy, and I didn't care. I wanted it to hurt, and I wanted my blisters to burst and run and bleed. This wasn't _my_ body, so what did I care?

Dirt was spraying everywhere as I hacked into the ground with manic fury, and I'm sure it looked like I was trying to bury myself.

A voice interrupted; "What are you doing?" I really didn't want to talk to Hiei right now, so of course he was the first person to go looking for me.

I tried to brush him off. "Being angry; I can only grieve for so long before it's self-pity, right?" I was still pretty pissed at Hiei for being a jerk in the Demon World. Sure, I was expecting him to be angry the day he found out I had been lying, but that was different from his reaction the day before… I struck a rock, my anger spiked again, and it suddenly clicked.

"_You did it on purpose_!" I realized, whipping around to point an accusing finger at Hiei.

He blinked owlishly. "I have no idea what stupid idea you've gotten into your head, but I'm sure you're wrong."

"No – I'm right!" I threw down my shovel, and stalked out of the row I was working on." I was scared of the Architect, I ran away, and you turned into a total prick! You made me so angry I forgot to be scared!"

"What a foolish idea." He grumbled, and I could only laugh. _You want everyone to think you don't care, but you do, Hiei. _I thought to myself.

Hiei's eyes narrowed, and he glowered at me. "I assure you I care very little about any of your affairs, human."

"Hey! Stay out of my head unless you have a good reason to be in there!" And there I was, back to being mad. I took deep, calming breaths to steady myself. "Okay – _one_; you can't use anger to manipulate people, it's not nice." I paused, shooting him a meaningful look. "And _two_ – next time you go into my head you need an _invitation_. Capisce?"

He scoffed at me. "Foolish."

"No – _nice._" I corrected. The glare intensified, and I decided to change the subject.

"Hiei, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything – I didn't tell _anyone_, I just _couldn't_. I wanted everything to be okay, and to be normal, and I didn't want to see how fucked up everything was. I know I've probably ruined everything, but I just want you to know I didn't think anyone would get hurt."

He was so quiet, but he wasn't leaving either.

"I know I already got my second chance a while ago, but…" I sighed, and wished there was something I could count or destroy nearby. "I can't _do_ this by myself."

My anger had subsided, and I was left feeling very vulnerable in front of the fire demon. While I could associate his anger-inducing behavior as veiled kindness, it was another thing to be asking for his help.

So I just asked for what he had already given. "I'm not asking you to be friendly, or _nice_, I just need you to be… nearby."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why me?"

I ticked off the reasons on my fingers. "Well, Kurama freaks me out, Yusuke and Kuwabara have Keiko and Yukina to worry about, Koenma couldn't care less, and well, it's the same with everybody else, too." I smiled a tiny bit. "And besides, you won't buy into my pity-party."

Hiei continued his sour look.

"Hey – you're pretty much around all the time anyway, so…?" I shrugged, trying to make my request seem light and nonchalant. But I was dead serious. I had taken the time to think about it, and Hiei was really my only constant in Japan. Sure, he was a giant pain in my side, but I had seen him every single day, and spent most of my time in his presence, on way or another. A sharp rock in the middle of the ocean is still a rock, and a drowning sailor will hold on to almost anything.

I was starting to think Hiei wouldn't answer me at all, and I half-expected him to just vanish without answering at all.

His answer was from way out in left field.

"You didn't choose this." He stated, but it sounded almost like a question.

"Damn straight, I didn't." I answered, frowning.

There was a pregnant pause, and Hiei's expression didn't change. He stared me down, and I tried to send back an equally intense stare. Hiei was a little taller than me, but just like me he was shorter than all of the others. The intensity of that stare, though, could probably burn through rocks.

I finally blinked when my eyes started drying out, and the intense exchange ended.

"You have mud on your face." Hiei stated plainly.

I blushed, and tried wiping at my face with my shirtsleeves, but I don't think it helped much. "It's the latest thing in beauty products – _Genkai's Temple Soil_; shrinks pores and exfoliates!" Hiei raised an eyebrow, and I struck a beauty pose. "Don't I look faaaaaaabulous?"

"You look ridiculous." He muttered. For the first time in days, I laughed openly. He shot me another strange look, and I responded with a brilliant smile. Hiei 'Hn'ed, and vanished.

I chuckled to myself, and picked up my shovel again.

_Hiei?_ I reached out with my thoughts tentatively.

_What._ He replied gruffly, and I smiled to myself.

_Just checking._ I answered in a sing-song tone. I could somehow sense his displeasure, and that only made me smile more.

_Go back to your mud._

_Special 'exfoliating Temple Soil', Hiei! _He didn't reply again, and I shook my head, smiling and chuckling. He was just too much fun to mess with.

As I dug in the garden, I thought about how much fun it would be to put some of the dirt in a little jar, label it "special exfoliating temple soil", and leave it somewhere for Hiei to find. _Does he even stay in the temple?_ I thought. He was there all the time, but I didn't actually know if he lived there, let alone slept there. My plan seemed to be falling through for lack of access.

Oh well – my middle-school prank would have to wait. _Oh, middle school – where boys push girls on the playground and we call it a 'crush'._

I felt a sudden flush of shame. I had barely heard that the world and the people I loved were gone, and here I was flirting with another man. What kind of horrible person did that make me?

I groaned and flopped my head forward, resting it on the handle of the shovel.

_Why me? Why me?! _If there had been a wall in front of me, I would have started beating my head against it. Why did I have to have a brain? Why couldn't I just happily accept that something relatively ok was happening in my life, and just forget what was behind me?

I could say that I had known it was all over the day I woke up in Japan. I could say that I knew that things in America couldn't possibly be real. I could say that I had plenty of time to grieve over my lost love and lost life. I could say a lot of things, but it didn't stop me from feeling like a whore.

I was frustrated, and confused. I wanted to see a life manual for exactly how long people are supposed to grieve before it's socially acceptable to flirt. What, those don't exist? Someone should make one.

I wanted to stay and rip apart my garden some more, but I was losing the light. I kicked a rock in frustration, and it rolled gently away, unperturbed by my violence.

I walked in a self-pitying huff back to the temple, and shed my muddy shoes before walking on the pristine wood floors. I swear; I took the longest shower of my life. I was trying to wash away mud, and shame, and fear, and loneliness.

The mud came off, and that was a start.

* * *

A/N: Aria's concerns at the end of this chapter are an issue that I've been grappling with for her character, as I myself am not prone to long bouts of grief, and am thus not prone to making the character deal with it for long periods. That confusion is going to be a key point for a few chapters, but let me know what you think!


	19. Chapter 19 - Confidence

A/N – hey readers, thanks for hanging with me during my absence due to business. I've been going through a bit of a funk, and recently decided to quit my job. As such, I've been busy trying to make the transition period easier for my replacement. Anyway – I appreciate your patience!

* * *

It was an inhuman hour to be awake, but my body woke me not long after the crack of dawn. I felt like shit, but traveling the emotional roller coaster from sadness to fear to anger to happiness to shame will definitely do that to you. I groaned, and tried to ignore the world for a little longer. No such luck.

Keiko burst into my room with all the energy (and accompanying light) of an avenging angel.

"Good morning, Aria!" She called in a singsong voice.

"Ggggggnnnnnnnffff." I replied, burying my face into a pillow to block out the light from the hallway.

"Time to get up, lazybones." She had no mercy for my poor, sleepy body.

"Wwwwhhhhyyyyyyyyy..." I moaned as she ripped the bedspread from on top of me, and I was doused in the cold chill of the air.

"Because life just got a lot better- Yusuke says you can leave the temple for a little bit today."

It took me a few _long_ moments for that to process, and when it finally churned its way through my four fully functional neurons, my eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright. "I can do what now?"

Keiko smiled broadly. "We get to go out together today."

"No escort?" I asked slowly, suspicious.

She grinned devilishly. "No boys of any kind."

I swear I flew out of that bed like a bat out of hell, launching myself at my clothing, almost knocking poor Keiko over. "Whoah, girl! I thought you were tired, huh?"

"You could have started with 'hey Aria, you get to leave the temple today', and I promise you I would have gotten up faster." Her laughter followed me into the hallway as I shoved my toothbrush into my mouth while simultaneously pulling a brush through my hair.

Keiko was waiting patiently in the common area, and followed after me as I ran past her to get outside. She caught up as I stopped at the top of Genkai's steep stairwell.

"Before I get into a lot of trouble, you weren't just pulling my leg, right?" I asked hesitantly. She patted me on the back, and descended the first step.

"I'm serious, so let's go!" She tugged on my arm. Slowly, I descended the first step. I waited for Genkai or Hiei to burst from the underbrush, screaming at me to go back into the temple. When that didn't happen, I gave in to Keiko's tugging and we descended the eternally long stairs together, her laughing and me smiling.

Freedom.

* * *

Downtown near the temple may not have been the biggest and most bustling metropolis of society, but it was so much better than burying myself a little deeper in my developing garden. Keiko was more than happy to fill the conversational space by telling me more about everyone.

I learned about Kuwabara and vet school, Kurama and his family, and, curiously, how Hiei had all but vanished for the last year. I wondered what was keeping him so anchored to the human world for now.

Keiko interrupted my train of thought. "What do you want to do first; shopping?"

"I don't really need anything, and I don't have any money..." I also wasn't keen on spending my first day of freedom shoving my oddly proportioned body into women's clothing. There's something about being a real-shaped person that makes it difficult to find clothes. In my physically demanding profession, I ended up with the proportions of a 1950s woman – an hourglass with a narrow waist – and the muscle strength to lift a 200lb man.

But as we passed by a little hole-in-the-wall shop, I stopped in my tracks. I stared longingly in the window, and Keiko had to backpedal on the sidewalk to join me. She looked from the glass, to my longing expression, and back to the shop. "You can't be serious."

"Pretty please?" I batted my eyelashes at her, and made a pitiful face.

She sighed, and I tried even harder to convince her. "It'll only take like 20 minutes, I promise!"

"There's really nothing else you want to do?" She asked, and I shook my head fiercely. Unable to resist my huge Bambi eyes, Keiko followed me into the tiny shop. "Barely twenty minutes outside the temple and you're already getting into trouble…" she grumbled.

A skinny twenty-something looked up from behind the tiny reception counter. "What'll it be, ladies?" Keiko held up her hands in objection very quickly. "Not me-just her!"

"Calm down, Keiko- they won't hold you down and force it on you." I glanced at the woman behind the counter. "Can you do something like this?" I scribbled quickly on a blank sheet of paper, and she gave it a cursory look.

"Shouldn't be a problem – got time now? There's no one here." She asked, glancing around the shop.

"Yup!" I chirped before Keiko could protest.

"Are you sure?" Keiko asked as the 20-something went into the side room for a moment.

"Keiko – trust me, I'm sure."

* * *

It was always hard for me to resist the urge to poke at my arm afterwards. My left forearm felt really sore, and I had to remind myself that this body wasn't accustomed to being repeatedly stabbed with needles.

"How does it feel?" Keiko asked, trying to peer under my shirt sleeve.

I swatted her hand away lightly. "Pretty good, I think. It's sometimes hard to tell for a bit."

She shuddered a little. "I don't think I could ever do that to myself."

"It's kind of a lifestyle choice." I shrugged it off, sticking my hands in my pockets. I had been more discreet about my choices when I was in America – but that was when I had been concerned about what people thought about my appearance or lifestyle. In Japan, hardly anyone ever saw me, and I doubted that I would ever have enough of a legal identity to even apply for a job. I contemplated getting a drastic haircut, or dyeing my hair an odd color, but the urge soon passed.

Keiko derailed my train of thought by mentioning the sweet ambrosia of life that is caffeine. "Well, if this morning is going anywhere, I need coffee."

I nodded vigorously, and she laughed at my enthusiasm. Keiko took me to a very cute little café with some kind of cat in the logo, and we took a little table at the window, ordering coffees. It was still the early-morning rush for the café, and our coffees arrived fairly quickly.

_Ahh, sweet java, how I have missed thee. _I sighed, sipping the coffee slowly to try and extend the experience. Keiko looked at me oddly.

She coughed a little, interrupting my bliss. "So – Aria."

"Hmm?" I replied around the porcelain cup.

"I've been wondering – what can you tell me about what's going on?" Keiko fidgeted a little in her seat. "Yusuke hasn't told me much, and I'm really sorry if I'm prying too much!" Keiko was already starting to apologize, and I raised a hand to stop her.

"No, no, it's ok. I'm not really that sure about what's going on myself, actually." I sighed, swirling my coffee with my spoon. "It really comes down to just the basic fact that I died in America, and woke up in Japan a moment after I died. Apparently this body is a copy, but my soul is still my own. Beyond that, I know that there's some demon taking a great interest in me, but I really don't know anything more." I gave Keiko an apologetic grin. "Sorry I can't satisfy more of your curiosity."

Keiko swirled her own coffee – is that just a natural response to awkward conversation while at a café? I seek refuge in thee, caffeine.

"That explains a little of why Yusuke is so suspicious. He tries his best to keep me out of Demon World stuff." She snorted. "Doesn't always work, though."

"Ooh, backstory please!" I leaned forward over the table, waggling my eyebrows. It made Keiko laugh, but before she could dive into her story, a stranger walked up to our table.

"Hey ladies – spare some change?" He looked like your stereotypical homeless panhandler – big jacket, construction boots, severe stubble, and a baseball hat. He grinned at us with discolored teeth and held out a paper cup that already had a few bits of change in it.

"Sorry – we don't have any money." Keiko gave him an apologetic smile. I'm used to panhandlers accepting the first comment of 'sorry', and moving on, but this guy was persistent.

"Come on – I'm hungry here." He pressed us, rattling the small amount of money in the paper cup.

I was a little more blunt than Keiko in my response. "And we really don't have anything." I was very aware that Keiko and I had chosen both a table at the window, and a corner table. This bedraggled man was quite tall, large, and was _standing between us and the exit_. Even in this fairly populated area, warning bells started going off in my head.

He didn't take my comment well. "Don't be a bitch!" I don't know what kind of crazy man thinks cornering women is going to end in a positive experience. Keiko and I tried to ignore him, but he was a persistent asshole. "Hey-I'm talking to you!"

He grabbed my left forearm, and my vision swam for a moment as I was doused in a fresh wave of pain. Getting a tattoo is one thing, but having someone dig into the raw flesh less than half an hour afterwards is another matter.

The man must have thought that just his grip was hurting me, because he leered at us; convinced he was going to get whatever he wanted.

"Now-can't we just have a nice conversation?" He let go of my arm briefly- trying to be benevolent, I'm sure. Big mistake.

I grabbed him around the wrist and gave it a quick, sharp yank, throwing him off balance and tripping him into falling face-first into the table. He yowled in pain, clutching his face and teetering sideways. Keiko and I stood quickly from the table, trying to leave the cafe as quickly as possible. Jerk face grabbed me around the wrist again- but this time he grabbed my right arm. He squeezed hard- trying to evoke the same pain response from earlier- and I ignored him completely.

Rather than kicking him in the shin- which is sometimes a dicey option, and you might miss- I slammed the side of my foot into his shin, and then dragged it down the front in about a second- if you apply medium pressure, this leaves one hell of a bruise. If you apply deep, powerful force to that step, you can almost peel away a layer of skin from the person's shin.

I was not gentle.

He screeched, and released my right arm. As a parting gift, I swung out with the newly freed appendage, and smacked him with a cupped hand directly in the ear. Some people might go for the eyes, the jaw, or the cheek, but those are surrounded by angular bone, and I might hurt my hand. The ears, however, are quite sensitive to sudden changes in pressure, and a cupped hand forces a sudden increase in internal pressure. It's not hard to rattle the tiny bones of the inner ear, and I definitely rang this guy's bell. Hard.

He crumpled to the ground, and I left him sobbing on the floor. Keiko left a wad of bills on the countertop as we ran out onto the sidewalk. We ran for a few blocks, and stopped when we were certain he hadn't followed us.

Breathing a little hard, Keiko gaped at me. "Kami, Aria- where did you learn all that?"

I was surprisingly in a little better shape than Keiko, and caught my breath easily. "Class. It was a long time ago, but it sticks with you." I was amazed at how well it had stuck, actually. My last martial arts class had been over six years ago, but the reflexive movements had stayed.

"What kind of class teaches you to _slap _people in the _ear_?" Keiko exclaimed.

I chuckled. "A good one."

Overcome by the absurdity of our situation, we both burst out laughing. What a morning.

"I think we need to shake this off, and keep on going with our adventures for the day. What say you?" I may have gone a little Braveheart at the end, but Keiko readily agreed.

"Come on – I've got a great idea." And we were off again.

* * *

Keiko burst from the changing room dressed like a Spanish flamenco dancer, and struck a pose. I burst out laughing and almost fell over in my chair.

"Where did you _find_ that?!" I exclaimed. "Show me! I want to try one!"

Keiko had taken me to a costume rental store. Given all of our shopping options, we really just needed a few laughs. The store was small, and only had one changing room, so Keiko and I had been taking turns trying on fun and silly costumes. While I was waiting for her to change, I had slipped on a big clown suit over my regular clothes.

"There's a big section of dresses by the emergency exit in the back – follow me!" Keiko gathered her twenty yards of red ruffles as best she could in her arms, and we worked our way to the back of the store.

There weren't any flamenco dresses in my size, but there was a fabulously clingy sequin dress that Keiko all but forced into my hands.

"It's not really my style!" I hollered through the changing room door.

"I don't care!" Came the muffled reply.

I grumbled a little under my breath as I stripped out of the clownsuit, and my regular clothes underneath. I had to shimmy into the sequin dress; it was quite tight.

"I don't know Keiko – I think it's a little small for me." I muttered while opening the changing room door. I was a little concerned that the seams might pop on the sides, and we would be obligated to buy the sparkly outfit. I tried to smooth down the shimmering sequins, and admired how they changed color when turned in the light. "What do you think, Keiko?"

"Where have you been hiding that _figure?_" was her fast reply. I laughed as she poked at my waist.

"Careful! I don't want the sides to bust!" I swatted at her hands, but that didn't stop her.

"Oh shush – it looks amazing. That _has_ to go home with you." She spun my to face a mirror. "I mean – just _look_ at you!" Keiko tugged my hair out of my standard ponytail, and fluffed it a little to give it volume.

The sequins were a beautiful emerald green, but when I shifted a little they would shimmer an emerald blue, or sometimes gold. My auburn hair curled around my shoulders, concealing the thin straps holding up the gown. Green and blue reflections from the sequins made me look like I was glowing. The gown skimmed my body in a flattering way, the ends just skimming the floor in a pool of green, blue, and gold.

"You look like a mermaid, Aria." Keiko sighed admiringly.

I allowed myself one more long look before closing myself back in the dressing room. I shimmied out of the dress as Keiko hollered through the closed door "I'm getting you that dress whether you like it or not!"

I laughed, but I don't think she was joking. By the time I got the dress off and my own clothes back on, she had already negotiated a price with the store owner and had a receipt in hand.

"Don't say a word – just think of this as a thank you for dealing with that creep at the café." She held out an empty bag from the store, and with only a few moments of hesitation I carefully placed the shimmering gown in the bag.

"Thank you, Keiko." I whispered. She shot me a beaming smile, and shoved the bag into my hands.

"Don't mention it – now hang out for a second while I get back in my clothes." Keiko in her fluffy flamenco dress vanished into the dressing room, and I stood alone in her absence, staring at the puddle of green, gold, and blue in the plastic bag. I wondered if I would get the chance to wear it to a party.

Keiko seemed to read my mind. "Don't worry!" She yelled through the door. "I'll make sure you get a chance to wear it!"

I gaped like a fish, trying to come up with some smart answer. "Well – good!" was the best I could come up with. Keiko laughed.

It was nice to have a friend.

* * *

Keiko and I were still laughing about our odd day when we finished ascending the stairs at Genkai's temple. The afternoon had grown long, and our feet very sore.

"I had a really great day." I sighed, stopping at the top of the stairs. I didn't want to approach the temple quite yet – I didn't want the day to be over.

"Well – besides the café." Keiko interjected.

"Yeah, besides that." I chuckled. "We're never going back to that café, are we?"

"It's a shame – their hot cocoa is so good, too." She sighed, and we devolved into giggles again. "See you soon?"

"Absolutely."

Keiko waved on her way down the stairs, and with slow steps I returned to the temple. Genkai and Yukina greeted me in their customary ways as I walked through the common area; one with a grunt, the other with an offer of tea. I responded to the first with a "same to you", and the second with an "absolutely, just let me put these away."

I was in my bedroom, carefully folding the shimmering gown into a drawer of its own in the dresser when I felt a familiar presence.

"Hello Hiei – miss me?" I chuckled, not bothering to turn around.

"He didn't want your money." A familiar voice spoke from the vicinity of my bedroom door. It took me a few moments to realize he was talking about the man from the café.

"I know." I didn't bother asking how he knew about the incident. I closed the drawer, and glanced at Hiei in the doorway. He was staring at me strangely.

"He wanted to hurt you."

"I know."

There was a long pause where neither of us spoke, and neither of us moved. I was about to speak, but Hiei beat me to it.

"You could have called for me." That comment surprised me, but I didn't let it show on my face.

I shrugged, and walked towards the door. "I didn't want to bother you with something so trivial." I stopped in front of Hiei, but he didn't budge; still blocking my exit from the room."So what's up?"

"Let me see it." I didn't bother asking him what he meant. I turned my arm over, and pulled my sleeve up, exposing the soft, tattooed flesh of my inner arm.

The artist had done a really great job with the English words, which had made me happy, and the lines were still clean and crisp-my assailant hadn't damaged the art. My arm was still wrapped in Saran Wrap, and the skin smeared with Vaseline to keep the area from stabbing. Hiei gently smoothed out the wrinkles in the Saran Wrap, careful not to touch my tender flesh. "What is it?"

"There was a human scientist named Darwin, who had a theory about how life on Earth came to be so diverse. At the time, his ideas were considered heretical, and he was forced to keep many of his ideas a secret for his entire life. This is his legacy, though. It's from a little corner of his notebook."

I pointed at the English words. "This says 'I think', and then below it is Darwin's evolutionary tree. For me, it's a symbol of life, and of courage, and discovery. Of new beginnings, and endings."

Hiei examined the tattoo a moment longer, and released my arm. "Was this one of your tattoos before you died?"

I tugged my sleeve down carefully, trying not to touch the sensitive skin. "No, actually. I had a really big one on my back, and a few others, but not this one. This one's new." I smiled, and Hiei didn't return the expression. What a surprise.

He still stood in the doorway, blocking my exit from the room. "I'm ok-really." I tried reassuring him.

"Hn. Good." It was a remarkably sweet statement, coming from Hiei. I decided not to comment on it. He finally stepped to one side, allowing me exit from the bedroom. I passed him, but on a quick thought turned and pointed a stern finger at him.

"And leave him alone- ok? I think I did more than enough damage." I instructed, and he crossed his arms over his chest, returning with a glowering look.

"I think waking up without fingers would be a strong reminder not to manhandle weaker women." He stated flatly.

"I said leave him alone, Hiei." I smiled. "I'm fine- see? No need for amputations."

"You're a fool. People like him never learn." He was annoyed with me.

"Then I'm a fool. But I'm happy to be a fool." I smiled, and he still looked moderately irritated.

I didn't want him to leave while still annoyed with me, and reached out as he turned away, catching the edge of his sleeve between my thumb and index finger. The fabric was surprisingly soft. Hie is head turned, his eyes sweeping from the hem of the sleeve to my light grasp on his coat. The intense red eyes then moved from my hand to my face.

"What, onna?" His expression wasn't harsh, nor was his tone- it was calmly neutral.

"Uh, nothing. Sorry." I released the fabric, trying not to blush in embarrassment, and he left me alone in the hall. Why did I do that? Almost everything I knew about Hiei told me that he wouldn't appreciate a sudden grasp from a human.

Trying to shake the odd experiences of the day, I retreated to the common area, where Yukina already had tea waiting for me. It wasn't until the last moment before I fell asleep that night that I realized I hadn't thought of John all day.

* * *

A/N: Long chapter comes to a close! Thank you again for your patience, and I hope to get the next one churned out a little faster!


	20. Chapter 20 - Too Familiar

A/N: Note to self – never write the end of a fun chapter first; it makes it impossible to go back and fill in the middle bits.

Many thanks to my reviewers – your comments are what keep me writing!

* * *

I had thought it was going to be a wonderful day.

I woke from restless sleep early in the morning, and checked on my tattoo before I even rolled out of bed. Sleeping with a new tattoo always made me nervous – as if somehow my tossing and turning would smear the ink.

I managed to be awake before anyone else in the temple, and padded into the kitchen still in my pajamas. I couldn't place the reason, but I wanted to make pancakes.

The cabinets in the kitchen were mercifully quiet as I gathered ingredients, humming quietly to myself. _Flour…eggs… butter… ooh – blueberries! _Genkai didn't have maple syrup – it had been too much to hope for.

I felt giddy, and my spirits were higher than they had been in days. I stirred the batter with vigor, still humming, and tossed my head a little to get my hair out of my face. I felt almost normal again.

There was a creak of floorboards behind me, and I screamed to all holy hell when I turned around and Hiei's bright red eyes were three inches away from mine. The bowl flew up into the air with my startled flailing, but Hiei caught it before its contents ended up all over the floor.

"_Jesus Christ, Hiei! Are you trying to kill me?_" I clutched at my heart with one hand, and steadied myself by gripping the countertop with the other.

"What are you doing?" Hiei looked genuinely perplexed and obnoxiously unperturbed by my exclamation.

"Planning to take over the world – _what does it look like I'm doing?!" _Hiei slowly handed over the bowl and spoon at my prompting, and I slowly resumed stirring the mixture. It took me a moment to realize he wasn't concealed by his usual cloak – he was dressed in black loose-fitting pants and a blue sleeveless shirt. He had amazingly defined muscles.

_Pancakes, focus on the pancakes_. I thought to myself.

"What are pancakes?" Hiei asked.

"I thought I told you to stay out of my head!" I threatened him with the spoon, pointing it at him like a fencing foil.

He merely raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. Those stupid muscles of his twitched, and I almost missed his rebuttal. "You said it out loud, stupid."

I wanted to make him put his concealing cloak back on. "Oh – did I? It's an American breakfast food – now get out of the kitchen! You have to wait just like everybody else."

"You don't command me, ningen." He snarled weakly. _Arrogant sonofa…_

"I can command anyone in the kitchen when I'm holding a drippy spoon." I waved it at him, threatening to get batter on his shirt. "Now _get_!"

Hiei begrudgingly left the kitchen, and I resumed my happy cooking. The pancakes sizzled merrily in the pan, and each one flipped perfectly. Happy circles, happy kitchen, and a happy me.

I made a plate for myself, and stacked the rest under the warmer, with a little sign on top; '_eat me!' _I didn't bother calling for Hiei to eat – if he wanted them, I'm sure several would disappear from the stack. Otherwise, I didn't want to bother him.

I almost choked a little around the first pancake, just from trying to eat it so quickly. It tasted perfect, and the familiar taste made me homesick. I shook it off, and polished off my plate in short order. I cleaned my dishes and the kitchen, and left to continue my productive streak.

I dressed comfortably – jeans and a t-shirt – and tied my hair up in a ponytail. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror as I left my bedroom, and paused. For all my happy moments this morning, I looked exhausted. I had faint dark circles under my eyes, my face looked gaunt. I tried tilting my head up to catch the light, and while that helped a little with the shadows, I still looked haunted.

_Not without good reason, I suppose…_

I left my thoughts at the mirror, and went outside. I tried to set a much more reasonable pace for myself that day in the garden. _No more blisters_, I thought to myself, flexing my hands to work out the kinks. They were still fairly sore, but I hadn't wanted to bother Yukina with my self-mutilation, and it didn't bother me that much.

I settled into a new, slower, rhythm of hacking away at the dirt and grass. I wanted it to be cathartic again, but the feeling was eluding me. Instead, I was getting frustrated with my slow pace and progress.

I started to incrementally speed up, until I was back at my original furious pace. I was burying myself in the labor, and the peace I had hoped to achieve in the action was far out of reach. In its place was the familiar frustration, anger, and hurt.

_Just finish the row, and then you're done_. I tried to encourage myself, to find some motivation beyond pure frustration to drive the completion. It was difficult to focus with my arms burning and my hands chafing and my head pounding in anger.

_I hate this, I hate this, I hate this_. I repeated over and over again. I didn't want to be doing this, but I didn't want to be idle. If I sat on my butt all day I would have the time to think about my life, and my losses, and how fucked up it all was.

I didn't want to think about it.

I didn't want to remember.

I didn't want to hurt inside.

I just wanted to quit. But I'm not a quitter, so I was slowly destroying myself in the garden instead.

As I dug, I tried to bury my memories, my hatred, my fear, and my pain. It wasn't fair that I had been forced to give up everything I knew and loved for such an unforgiving new life. This ridiculous place was filled with creatures trying to kill me, exploit me, or goodness knows what else.

And I didn't _want _to be so angry about it.

I had held a certain amount of pride in my emotional management for a long time. Very little fazed me past the point of quiet tolerance, and almost all of my irritable feelings could be managed with a glass of wine or two.

I felt like I had no control in this new place – I was being yanked around both physically and emotionally in the storm with no rock to hold on to.

As I tore into the ground again, I hissed in pain as a new blister tore wide open. I threw the shovel as hard as I could, and it spun off when it hit a tree. I bit my lip to keep from screaming in frustration and disturbing the peaceful air around the temple.

"_Fuck this shit_." I swore, kicking a rock with vengeance. Why was it so hard for me to find anything like peace? Everything from the last few days had been simmering just under the surface, and now I felt like I was boiling over.

I left the garden uncompleted and tried walking around the temple. I could put a lid on my feelings if I just kept moving. I was on my second circle around the temple when I was interrupted by a familiar voice. In my head.

_You're being foolish. Running won't fix anything._ Under most other circumstances, I might have invited Hiei to join me, but I was just barely keeping my emotions in check.

_Well, I'm not running, I'm walking. _I shot back.

_Semantics, onna._

_Just stop, please._ The focus required to communicate with Hiei was taking my focus away from controlling the storm brewing just under my skin. To his credit, Hiei did not respond.

Third time around the temple, I was okay again.

Fourth time around the temple, the lid blew off the boiling pot. I collapsed into tears at the base of a tree. As I cried, I found quiet solace in settling between the roots, and the solid reality of the rough bark on my back. I gripped my head with muddy hands, and wished sorely that I could grasp at reality the same way.

I stayed there for hours, long after lunch, dinner, and sunset. No one came looking for me, and as it grew dark and cold around the temple grounds I stood, and went inside.

* * *

A shower helped me feel a little better, but it woke me up instead of helping me relax for sleep. I tossed and turned for several hours before finally giving up on the endeavor. I slipped out of bed, wrapping myself up in a chunky sweater, and going to sit outside on the porch.

It was one of those lonely nights. The rest of the world seemed to be asleep at three a.m. – like I should have been. I sat on the porch, shoeless feet swinging in a sharp autumn wind, chunky sweater rolled up just enough so my hands could wrap around a hot cup of tea. My hair curled around my neck like a lover's kisses, tickling at my collar and occasionally whispering across my lips.

It was a terrible night to be alone.

I sighed, and I could see my breath in the air. It curled around the steam from my tea, and I envied their closeness.

Ok, so I was so lonely that I was jealous of breath and steam. Don't judge me.

A familiar tickle in my mind signaled the end of my loneliness – sort of.

"Evening, Hiei." I called, not bothering to raise my voice.

"Hn." In a moment he was on the porch, somewhat beside me. I didn't bother turning to greet him, so I couldn't have been certain of how close he was to me. However, he was close enough that I could feel a temperature difference in the air around me from his presence.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I was having a moment." I said quietly, and he didn't reply. I tried starting conversation on another route. "I don't know much about fire demons," Hiei snorted, and I ignored him to continue. "_but_ I imagine that you are a rare beast indeed to be able to read minds like you do." I didn't expect an answer, so I was surprised to hear the demon's voice:

"I… acquired the ability."

"Acquired like practiced, or acquired like came into physical possession?"

"Hn. The second one." I struggled with that thought. Magical amulet? Super-shoes? Gorgon's head? I was probably making interesting expressions, and Hiei frowned at me. I gave him a little grin. "Sorry – I'm just trying to figure out how that would work…"

"I can show you." Hiei was being unnaturally forthcoming. It was unusual, but I didn't want to stop him. He reached for the tie of his headband – magical cloth? – and started to untie it. He slowly removed the ever-present white headband. A third – vibrant purple – eye stared back at me from the center of Hiei's forehead. If I had seen it before I knew of demons I probably would have wigged out, but now…

"The Jagan Eye." He said, very softly. The purple color…

"That's how you saw my memories." I stated. I glanced to Hiei's eyes. "I remember seeing that color... I was surrounded by it when you were in my head."

I stared into the Jagan eye, and felt it stare back at me. It felt like it had a presence of its own, aside from Hiei's consciousness. I blinked, and it blinked. Where Hiei's normal eyes were deep and secretive, this eye was wide and inquisitive. The iris color was bright even in the near-darkness of the porch, and I smiled a little.

"It's looking at me. It's very… different. From the rest of you, I mean." Hiei grunted in confirmation. He was also starting at me as I leaned closer to his forehead. It didn't occur to me that I was intruding in his personal space, but he wasn't stopping me.

"Does it ever get lonely?" I asked quietly. "I mean, it didn't used to be a part of you – does it ever think of… before?"

"That's a stupid question."

"I don't think it's stupid." I huffed. There was a long pause, but he did reply.

"Sometimes." I nodded, and let the silence fall again. The eye continued to stare, and it moved independently of Hiei's eyes. It was a little unnerving, but as I continued to think of it as a separate entity it was a little less unsettling. I wondered if it had its own thoughts and desires – it was observing me on its own, to say the least.

A thought occurred to me.

"Does it close when it's under your headband?"

"Yes." He affirmed.

"Close it, please, just for a second."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh, just do it." I swatted him in the shoulder lightly. "Have a little faith." He looked at me dubiously, but slowly a lid lowered over the vibrant purple eye. I smiled, and started speaking to myself. "Now let's see… what kind of dreams will you have tonight?"

"I don't dream." Hiei interrupted, and I shushed him.

"Well, this isn't for you – now shush!" I put my hand on my chin, staring at the closed eye. "I think you should dream of the ocean. Hiei's head must be full of fire, so I'll give you the Pacific Coast of the Americas – cool and salty breezes and water breaking over ancient rock." I raised two fingers to my lips, and kissed them. Hiei watched me with intense eyes, but the Jagan eye stayed closed. I reached out to close the gap between us, and just touched the closed lid with my kissed fingers. "Have sweet dreams for me, lonely heart."

_Because I can't have them anymore._

Hiei kept staring at me even after I withdrew my hand. I was starting to feel silly.

"Um… I'm done?" He stared, then replaced the cloth over the closed Jagan. I stammered to fill the silence. "Usually you get two dreams, one for each eye, but there's only one… so… yeah." I finished lamely. Step back, diplomats, I can orate with the best of them.

"The power of the Jagan eye inspires fear in countless demons." He finally spoke, and I swear he was staring right into my soul at this point.

"Ok?" I didn't really get his point, so he clarified for me.

"You just kissed it goodnight." I smiled, and tilted my head a little.

"Yeah, I guess I did." I chuckled, but Hiei didn't join me. No surprise there. "It's never hurt me, and neither have _you_, really. You've left a few bruises, but I don't think you really meant to hurt me."

"You have no idea what I was thinking, onna." He snarled harshly. I tried not to take it personally.

"True, but you could have – could _still_ – have very easily killed me. Yet here I stand?" I spread my arms wide. Inspired by some ineffable moment, I reached out and gently brushed my fingertips across his cheek. "You won't hurt me; I think you care too much."

Hiei snapped back from me like I had just slapped him across the face. A few expressions flashed across his face faster than I could identify them, and finally settled on fury. Confused, I reached for him – to what end I never found out, because he snatched my arm, gripping my forearm so hard I thought I felt my bones grind together.

"Let me make this clear for you, _ningen_; you are only alive because laws forbid me from killing humans." He hissed, venom dripping from every word. His skin was hot, too hot, to the touch. That grip around my arm started to burn, and I swear I heard sizzling flesh.

"Hiei – you're hurting me!" I cried out, clawing at his hand. He shook me, and I shut up as he growled in my face.

"I mean you no kindness, and I would not have hesitated to kill you had we met in the Makai." He let go of my arm with a hard shove, and I toppled back on the porch, falling hard. "_You don't know me_."

I swallowed a whimper of pain as he glared me down.

"_Fuck you_." I hissed, cradling my burnt arm.

And he vanished.


	21. Chapter 21 - Little Help From My Friends

The darkness was suffocating me. I tried moving my arms, but they were unresponsive. My legs were, too. I realized that my eyes were closed, but they were too heavy to open.

_What's going on?_ I was panicking, but my breathing wasn't getting faster. Because I wasn't breathing.

I couldn't move, I couldn't see, and I couldn't breathe.

_Am I dead?_

But my body hurt too much to be dead. I ached at every joint, in every muscle, and deep into every bone. It was almost too much to bear, and it was increasing. It felt as though someone was slowly dipping me in battery acid, but starting at the extremities and moving inward.

As the pain reached a peak, I took a great gasp of air. It burned my throat, and scorched my lungs. I almost choked on that first gasp of air, but instead it became a sob. I finally had the breath in my lungs, but it soon turned into a sob of anguish.

Over my cries of pain, I heard a deep chuckle.

With all of the energy I had gained from that first breath, I managed to lift the terrible weight on my eyelids, and slowly, slowly opened them.

Taisho stood over me, clawed hand positioned over my heart, and a yellow glow fading from around the palm of his hand.

"Welcome back, little mouse."

* * *

I woke with a start in my bed in Japan.

I was breathing heavily, but I felt a rush of relief as well. It was a bad dream, but I _knew _it was only a dream. I was safe here.

_But why now?_ I thought to myself. I had thought that I couldn't have dreams anymore.

I rolled over to sit up, and hissed in pain as I rolled on my burned and bruised arm. True to suspect, four finger-shaped strings of blisters and bruises stained my arm in an angry purple dotted with white.

"Shit, Hiei…" I muttered. My emotions threatened to crawl up my throat, but I shoved that shit down quickly. I had done more than enough crying already

I dressed in long sleeves – not inappropriate given the chilly morning air, but it still felt as though I was concealing something.

I felt conflicted. Should I say something to Hiei? Hey big-bad-demon don't threaten me anymore? I snorted at the thought. I stood by my assessment – if Hiei wanted me dead, I would be dead, Koenma or no. Whatever shit he pulled had to do with that strange beast I called "sensitive man feelings." I would call his abusive ass out, but I decided to wait until the bruises and blisters faded a little first.

The black shirt covered the burn well. The shirt had a high square neckline, and I found myself missing my jewelry box for the first time. I didn't have spectacular fashion skills, but even I knew that this needed a necklace.

"There's something distinctly unfair about a woman being deprived of jewelry." I muttered to myself. "But… it's also definitely a first-world problem." I retorted. Talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy – when you ask yourself to repeat yourself because you didn't hear yourself the first time… _then_ you're crazy.

I sighed, and tried to focus on being a normal person. I went to the kitchen in search of a caffeinated beverage. It didn't take long before I felt the familiar sensation of being watched.

"Have you decided not to be an asshole?" I asked without turning around.

A voice that was not Hiei answered me. "He returned to the Makai." I turned to look over my shoulder, and was met with a flash of red hair and cool, calculating green eyes.

"Hello, Kurama." I tried to sound civil, but I didn't have any positive experiences with the man on which to base a courteous tone.

"Good morning, Aria." He seemed to be better at faking sincerity.

I tried to move casually around the kitchen, eyeing my escape routes. I poured a cup of hot water, dropping a teabag into the steaming water. "Who went to the Makai?" I asked, slowly.

"Hiei."

Kurama stood in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his expensive slacks, obviously trying to look non-threatening. Even a lion lounging in the shade is still dangerous.

"Hm." I grunted my acknowledgment.

"You had a … disagreement last night." Kurama commented, shifting from one foot to another, somehow taking up more space in the doorway.

"Um, I guess you could call it that." Kurama made me incredibly uncomfortable, and even the image of being cornered by the Fox unnerved me.

It did not help when unnerving things came out of his mouth. "What did you say to him?"

"What did – what did _I_ say? Are you shitting me?" I had turned sharply, almost sloshing hot water onto my hand.

"There's no need to be vulgar." He said cutly.

"How about you don't blame me for Hiei's temper." I snapped back, my gaze hot enough to melt steel.

Kurama remained unmoved. "You understand very little, which is understandable. And your strength in the last few days is admirable. However, even that has its limits." Let no one diminish the power of condescending statements; the weight that sinks into your chest after being made to feel like a burden is substantial.

I turned my gaze to the tea I had yet to drink at all, focusing on something other than Kurama's faintly disdainful gaze. "I know I disrupted everyone's lives, and I appreciate being given shelter and protection. I really do want a better life – I want to take advantage of this second chance." I took a deep, almost shuddering breath. "I don't want to be the dead-weight you seem to think I am."

I made the mistake of showing vulnerability to the predator, and he struck at my insecurity. "You are an anchor." The Fox bit deeply into my shame, and drew blood.

Bleeding emotion onto the floor, I bit back with renewed vigor. "_I have worth_!" I yelled, feeling suddenly empowered. "Even if none of you think so, _I deserve to take up space_!"

In response to my outburst, Kurama shifted again in the doorway, hands coming out from his pockets and crossing over his chest. "Then why are you still here?" The question was quiet, and held no malice. Again, he knocked me off-guard.

Why _was_ I staying? I was definitely settling for a simpler life, and I often felt like an incredible burden at the Temple. As much as I wanted to call Yukina and Keiko my friends, I know that if I were deemed a threat by Koenma that their safety would mean my execution. Without hesitation.

But I wanted more. I _deserved_ to take up space, just as a natural human right. I didn't want to feel like a burden or an imposition, and I definitely didn't like being yanked around by Hiei's moods.

I stirred my tea, scooping the soggy leaves out with my spoon and adding some honey to the warm liquid. I shrugged as I put the spoon in the sink. "Money, I guess. And a real identity, or lack thereof."

Kurama stared at me blankly for a few moments, and then produced a manila envelope.

"This is everything you would need to start a new life. If you truly want to start over, this is it. But there are restrictions."

Silence hung between us for a few long, uncomfortable moments. Kurama, holding the envelope, and me, staring at it like a snake.

"What restrictions?" I asked quietly.

"Do you want this or not?" He replied without answering.

It seemed like a trick. I couldn't put my finger on why, but this didn't feel honest. This kind of thing took planning, and it had been well thought-out, my cooperation be damned.

I took it.

"There's a car waiting for you at the bottom of the steps. I wouldn't keep him waiting." Kurama gave me no time to reconsider.

"Wait – I need to pack my things, and-" He cut me off swiftly, taking me by the arm and leading me to the door.

"Leave everything, and don't come back." My eyes snapped to his sharply, and found no warmth there.

"…what?" I was frozen, and Kurama;s cold eyes only worsened the situation. He wanted me to just up and leave? I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off.

"Those are the restrictions." His voice was low, threatening me against breaking my agreement to go out into this new life. We stood at odds, and Kurama's grip grew slightly tighter on my arm. "What are you waiting for?"

"Why are you doing this to me?" The words almost didn't come out clearly, but Kurama heard me.

"What makes you think this has anything to do with you?" he replied flatly. We walked to the door together, and then out into the courtyard, finally stopping at the top of Genkai's infinite temple stairs. My mind was spinning wildly, trying to find some explanation for Kurama's push for my absence. _I'm missing something_, I thought, _some crucial piece of information._

As always, I returned to what was always the defining question – _what changed? _The only event I could think of was Hiei's sudden absence, but why would that mean my eviction?

_I'm missing something_, I thought as I started to descend the stairs alone.

Have you ever lost a train of thought? You can usually pick up the missing pieces by re-working your way from the beginning, or retracing your last few steps. But, as everyone knows, sometimes the train just derails, and there is no recovering the lost thought.

I felt the significance of the action as I reached the halfway point on the stairs. I resisted the urge to stop, to turn around, to return to my little room and hide under the covers.

But I kept going down.

The automaticity of action even in the face of confusion has always intrigued me. The ability of the body to continue an action while your mind is merrily absent seems impossible – but just take as an example the trance-like walk of a soldier after a nearby explosion has blown away his hearing.

But I kept going down, until I hit the bottom of the stairs.

I couldn't help it; I turned and looked up the infinite stairs to the temple. I could faintly see a splash of red hair at the top. Kurama was watching.

As promised, a taxi was waiting for me at the street. I slid into the backseat of the cab, clutching the folder of papers that was my new life.

"Are you ready, miss?" the cabbie asked from the front of the car.

"Just drive, please." I sighed.

* * *

We drove for more than an hour, and while we rode along I took a moment to read over my new life. The rental agreement was signed to a Jessica Smith. _Wow_, I thought, _it's like he just Googled 'most popular American names'. _

Was I supposed to introduce myself as Jessica now? I really wasn't fond of the name change. _Maybe I just won't talk to anyone ever. _

I had a birth certificate and credit card, but no banking information. I wondered how I was supposed to pay the credit bills.

"Miss?" The taxi driver jerked me out of my thoughts. I hadn't noticed that the car had stopped, and he had turned to look at me expectantly in the backseat.

"Oh, sorry. What do I owe you?" I fumbled with the unfamiliar card for a moment, but he stopped me with a raised hand.

"The gentleman pre-paid, miss." I nodded slowly, and slid over to the door, opening slowly.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I closed the door behind me. He drove away quickly, leaving me on an unfamiliar street in front of an unfamiliar apartment building.

My little stack of papers told me I was looking for apartment 3 on the top floor. My new front door was a faint yellow.

As I opened the door, I realized what a horrible person Kurama had to be. I could see from the foyer of this apartment that somehow, _some way_, Kurama had picked the one apartment complex that had a nearly identical layout to my old American apartment.

I leaned against the door frame, not yet able to walk inside. I fought the urge to scream. Then the urge to cry. Overall, the rush of emotions left me exhausted in only a few moments.

"You're an asshole, Kurama…" I sighed as I took my first step inside. I shut the door slowly behind me, and the heavy sound was a death knell for all that I had come to know.


	22. Chapter 22 - Little Heart

"Jess? Are you listening to me?" I still had trouble responding to my new name, even after two months. Occasionally my new friend Eiko would have to catch my attention by waving her hand in front of my face. I'm fairly certain she thought I was an idiot.

"Huh? I'm listening!" Her questioning my intelligence was probably not helped by the fact that we met when we were both totally intoxicated.

"Uh huh. What was I talking about?" She leaned across the café table, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow. The girl knew her maintenance.

"Clubbing tonight?" I took a stab in the dark.

"Oh good, you were listening!" She continued to rattle on about men's butts, and I quickly drifted back into self-reflection.

I had hardly noticed when a month went by; I had few markers with which to judge time. Thanks to Kurama's never-ending credit card, I didn't need a job. I was living silently, almost invisibly, tucked away in a quiet corner of the Human World.

I cooked, and watched television, and played solitaire.

I was also terribly lonely.

As a twenty-something who had never really moved far from home, I wasn't sure how one went about making new friends. I also didn't much feel like trying to make new friends, which led to a lot of drinking alone in bars. Somehow, that led to me meeting Eiko over three shots of tequila. That girl can hold her tequila.

Eiko turned out to be a great influence on my life, in all but two ways; the girl loved her nightlife, and the girl loved her tattoos. As it turns out, when you don't have family disappointment or future career trouble to prevent you from making bad decisions, you're much more likely to make bad decisions. Eiko was spectacular at encouraging me to make those bad decisions, while simultaneously making them seem like great ideas. Hence the prompt application of my second tattoo in this body.

Without divulging the details, let me just say that it is significantly larger than my first tattoo.

She and I would go shopping, get coffee, and generally do girl-friend things together. It made my life a little less lonely.

One more month later, there I was, sitting across from Eiko as she compared various celebrity derrieres in a coffee shop.

"So, just to clarify, where are we going tonight?" I interjected somewhere between Hugh Jackman and Chris Pine. Eiko sighed deeply, and flicked her hair over her shoulder with a skillful shake of her head.

"The club is called _Oxygen_, and you need to look _hot _tonight - you got it?" She waggled a purple-manicured finger at me, and I narrowed my eyes.

"_Why._" the words came out a little flatter than I had intended, but Eiko didn't usually insist that I glam-up for our outings. Eiko rescinded the purple finger, and tried not to look sheepish.

"Because... I might have invited some guys to meet us there?" She looked totally prepared for me to explode, but I managed not to make a scene. I hunched over, massaging my already aching temples with the palms of my hands. Eiko was a sweet girl, but once she honed in on a 'project', she just couldn't let go.

"And... _why_... did you do that?"

"Because you need to get laaaaaaaiiiiiiid!" She chirped.

In case it isn't obvious, _I _was her 'project'.

* * *

Eiko sent me home with supplies and instructions: _put this makeup part here, and do this with your hair, and try not to sound like a salty sailor when you talk_.

I curled my hair, and put on more makeup than I had worn all year – foundation, eyeliner (with wings!), eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick. I dressed in amazing patchwork leather leggings, black racerback tunic tank, and bright blue cropped jacket. I looked like a dark, beautiful dream.

I took a cab to the club, and - no surprise - Eiko was waiting for me outside and (almost) forcibly dragged me into the _thump-thump-thump_ing heart of the building.

The club was both the darkest and brightest room I had ever been in, and was hands-down the loudest as well. I felt instantly awkward, and sort of hoped that no one noticed me wringing my hands or shuffling around the other sweaty bodies in the room.

I wanted to find a nice corner to shuffle around in, or maybe just hang out near wherever alcohol was being served, but Eiko had other plans for me.

"_Jessica!_ Naughty naughty - don't hide from the night!"

God, I hated that name. _Sure_, you might say, _but it's just a name. And lots of girls have that name._ Well, I might say back, it's not _my_ name. And I _liked_ my name.

I missed Aria.

"Jessica!"

But I was stuck with that instead.

Eiko appeared with two much taller men trailing in her wake. The already tiny Japanese woman was further dwarfed by the two trolls behind her. While I tried to smile and appear somewhat welcoming, my heart just wasn't in it. They looked incredibly young to me, even though we were probably the same age.

"Jess, this is Arata and Kichirou - Kichirou _loves_ American movies!" Eiko's hasty attempt at an introduction was completed with her physically shoving me towards Kichirou. She quickly vanished into the _thump-thump-thump_ with Arata.

Kichirou opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"Ok kiddo, here's how this is gonna go; I'm sure you're great and all, but I have no interest in a boyfriend, or a husband, or a hookup. You're going to stand in my general vicinity for at least fifteen minutes, maybe drink a beer or two, and then you're going to walk me outside so I can catch a cab. Then I don't care what you do or tell anyone. Got it?"

The poor boy's smile sank faster than the Titanic.

I shot him a beaming, absolutely fake smile, which he weakly returned.

"Cheer up, dude; you can try again with another girl later tonight." I patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. "Here, have a beer." I signaled the bartender, and two beers quickly appeared. I handed one to my silent companion, and he thanked me with: "You're really pretty."

Sigh.

"Just drink your beer, Kichirou."

The boy then remained mercifully silent, drinking his beer and trying not to look too morose.

With Kichirou standing as a silent scarecrow - keeping away other hungry testosterone machines, I had a moment of peace. Eiko and Arata were nowhere to be seen, and I liked it that way.

I really hated this new life. I hated my new name, I hated going out to clubs, and I hated waking up in my apartment every morning. This was not the life I had wanted; not in my first life, and not when I started to settle in the temple. I wasn't a _Jessica_, I was Aria. I hated this lie that had been forced upon me.

I missed the temple, and I missed grouchy old Genkai, and the garden I had tried to start. And I missed -

_No._ I thought. _Don't think about him. _

I refocused on the world around me, and checked my watch.

"C'mon Kichirou - walk me to the door." I set my beer on the bar, and wrapped my arm around his.

"I could just take you home - my car is parked around the corner?" He sounded so hopeful, it almost hurt to shut him down.

"Fat chance."

Almost.

* * *

Showering usually made me feel better about almost anything, but I couldn't really enjoy it with a month-old tattoo. Tattoo artists make you promise to avoid long showers and swimming for at least three months after getting a new tattoo, and that was leaving me fairly miserable when it came to finding peace at home. I toweled off the mirror, and checked my tattoo.

In my old American life, I would never have gotten a tattoo on my - shall we say - decollage. The magnolia blossoms ran from one end of my collarbone to the other, with petals dipping down on my breastbone. The soft pinks and whites were accented by rich green leaves and tiny buds. I loved that tattoo.

I slunk into bed that night hoping that Eiko wouldn't call me in the morning. She would want to know if Kichirou came home with me, because _somehow_ she would have seen us leaving together.

I sighed, flopping into my bed and yanking the covers unceremoniously over my head. I could hear cars on the street outside, and the occasional siren go by. I had learned to sleep soundly despite all the noise, but I longed for the silence and peace of Genkai's temple. Crickets, birds, and screaming demons.

I missed it all.

* * *

A/N: Readers, thank you so much for your patience! I know it's shorter than usual, but this entire chapter was written _today_, as I was determined to get something out! It has been re-written about eight times now, simply because I was never happy with how it directed the story. Review and encourage me to write more!


	23. Chapter 23 - Wild Heart

A/N: Hi Readers! I know you may have been disappointed that nothing amazing happened in the last chapter, so I have worked hard to bring you another bit of the story a little faster. Enjoy!

* * *

I was completely right about Eiko; she called the next day at some unearthly and inhuman hour to quiz me about Kichirou. Much to my chagrin, when she didn't get a satisfying answer, she _gave Kichirou my phone number_.

It was difficult for me to express the immensity of my displeasure.

I tried.

It involved a lot of colorful swear words.

Kichirou called me, and I hung up on him. I had no patience for doe-eyed children. When that didn't work, Eiko arranged for him to join us for coffee. But did Arata join us? Of _course_ not. And did Eiko stay with my at the café so I could ignore Kichirou? Of _course_ not.

Someone truly hates me.

There I was, head down on a café table, praying that some deity would take pity on me and smite me in the expensive wood chair, when Kichirou finally made a sound.

"Jessica?" He asked quietly.

"_Nng_." I grunted from the tabletop.

"Eiko set me up, too."

"Is that so?" I turned a dubious eye. "How's that working out for you?"

He gave me a weak smile. "I met a very attractive woman who completely terrifies me, but I can't help wanting to have coffee with again."

I didn't have a great comeback, so what came out instead was: "Your hair is too fancy."

Kichirou laughed, combing a nervous hand through his well-styled hair. "You would laugh if you saw what it looked like first thing in the morning. This is a big improvement, trust me."

I lifted my head up from the table, and tried to sit a little more like a human being. "So why did Eiko set you up with this scary monster?"

Encouraged by my engaging in the conversation, Kichirou opened up.

He and Arata hab been friends since childhood, and when Arata started dating Eiko, somehow both of our names had come up in conversation, as well as the fact that we were both single.

"Eiko jumped on it like a lion on a zebra." He sighed. "Jess - you're very attractive, and I like spending time with you, but you're... not my type."

That statement had a lot of subtext, so of course I asked a follow-up. "Soooo... I'm not offended or anything, but I'm curious; who is more of your type?" I leaned into the conversation, and Kichirou took a deep swig of coffee, trying to hide his flushed face.

"C'mon," I urged, "tell me!"

"Uh... ok." Kichirou wheezed a little. "Arata."

Silence hung between us.

"What about him?" I was a little dense.

"Arata. He's my type."

Be patient with me, it took a few more seconds for the gears to lock into place.

"Oh." I muttered. "Oh!" I finally exclaimed, understanding finally dawning.

"_Pleasedon'ttellanyone!_" Kichirou threw out in a jumbled mess. His face was very flush, and he looked very embarrassed. "I haven't told anyone!"

"Why the hell not?" I exclaimed.

"I'm just... not ready. Not yet." Kichirou was melting in his seat; his head started to hang, and he was wringing his hands around his coffee cup.

"Hey - uh..." I stumbled, trying to find the right sequence of comforting words. "… _fuck._"

It didn't work out well the first time I tried, but I did better when Kichirou started laughing at my first attempt.

"Hey - stop laughing at me! I don't know what to say to make you feel like everything's okay!" I ran a hand through my hair nervously. "Nobody's ever come out to me before, so I don't know how I'm supposed to be supportive and encouraging and all that shit."

Kichirou laughed harder.

"_Stop!_" I shouted half-heartedly. He tried, and I fixed him with a serious stare. "You deserve to love or hate or mail glitter-filled hate mail to whoever you want."

That was honestly my best attempt at being a supportive friend.

Kichirou howled in laughter until tears streamed freely down his face.

* * *

Upon his insistence, I promised to keep Kichirou's secret. I wasn't' happy, but then again - I had plenty of secrets of my own to keep.

Kichirou and I actually got along very well. We continued to meet for coffee, which of course thrilled Eiko and Arata. Eiko openly encouraged me to accept whatever 'date' offers Kichirou made. From the number of 'dates' we ended up going on, I'm sure Arata was encouraging on his end as well.

Kichirou learned that my favorite flower was daisies, and made a point of bringing me a fresh bouquet every week. "It's for you, and it's for Eiko." He would say with a smile upon delivery of the flowers. Every time. It was cute.

Kichirou played a great faux-suitor; he always paid for the movie I chose, held the door open for me, and didn't care if I never wore high-heels.

I was ok with this new development in my life.

Which, of course, meant that it couldn't last.

* * *

I liked the zen-feeling of grocery shopping early in the morning. Stores are mostly empty, and I can avoid speaking at all most times. Lettuce, tomato, cheddar, bread, peace. The walk to and from the grocery store also provided peace. It was a little more than two miles to the store, but I didn't need to buy more than two bags' worth, and that wasn't too bad.

Ordinarily, I would embrace the silence and just enjoy the scenery. But today, my mind drifted of its own accord to fall nights that felt like centuries ago. I thought of crisp winds, marshmallows, and- I froze.

I smelled smoke.

_Fire._

The realization hit me like a freight train, and I whipped my head around, looking for the telltale wisps rising above rooftops – there! The smell of a burning building is quite different than that of a campfire. It smells cloyingly toxic, and burns with billowing dark smoke. I left my groceries in the street, hardly realizing that I had dropped the bags as soon as I smelled smoke.

The building wasn't far. As I turned the corner, the assault on my senses began. People were screaming, alarms were ringing, several people were sobbing loudly, and above it all there was the roar of the fire. The seven-story apartment building loomed over me with exaggerated height. Was it all in my head? I felt a shudder run through my body – this was the first uncontrolled fire I had seen since my death. It felt like a sick déjà vu.

The screaming woman was trying to run back into the building, but her neighbors were holding her back. She pointed – on the top floor a tiny hand was reaching out the window down towards her.

"Shit. Shit! _Shit!"_

Some instincts never leave you. Apparently it is in my basest levels to abandon personal safety to save stupid people from fires. It takes a certain kind of stupid to run into burning buildings when everyone else is running out.

Let's not lie to ourselves. I was not a structure firefighter, I was a _wildland_ firefighter. The two specialties are very different. There is a recurring joke with structure guys: why don't you call a Wildland firefighter for a kitchen fire? Because they'll light a backfire in the living room. What? It's true. If there's no one in harm's way nine times out of ten we let whatever is on fire burn merrily away, because fire is good for ecosystems. Structure guys almost always need to put fires out and save people that are hiding in their closets (like that helps).

One of the most important terms to discuss when talking about a structure fire is _flashover_. That is the point at which organic materials in a home get so hot that they spontaneously ignite. There's a lot of complicated chemistry as to _why,_ but all you need to know is that stuff will just start catching fire, regardless of whether or not it's in contact with the main fire.

In older homes, the average flashover time is thirty minutes. Heirloom furniture made of solid wood just takes longer to catch fire. However – in newer homes or apartment complexes build with artificial materials and furniture made of particle board, the _average flashover time is three minutes_. And for more food for thought – in the United States, the average fire engine response time is six minutes. By the time the firefighters arrive, furniture has already been spontaneously igniting for three whole minutes. _You're dead_. That's why working smoke detectors are so important.

After a flashover event, a lot of firefighters don't like going into buildings. It ruins the structural integrity of a building, and floors tend to give way without warning, or ceilings fall down on unsuspecting people. But, if there is someone inside, firefighters don an awful lot of protective gear, and go in after your stupid ass.

I had no such gear.

So why was I already almost inside the door?

Because I am also quite stupid.

I was almost inside the hallways of the main stairwell when the heat tried to knock me over.

As any firefighter can tell you, there are a lot of different types of fire. Wildland and Structure fires are different, as in most cases in the outdoors the fire tends to stay on the ground. Fire does strange things when it starts climbing walls and traveling across the ceiling.

This fire was going to take the whole building down, and soon.

I lifted the collar of my shirt to cover my nose and mouth – fat lot of good that was going to do me – and ran into the hallway.

* * *

A/N: Cliffhanger! Review for faster chapter updates and to find out what happens when a Wildland firefighter goes into a structure fire!


	24. Chapter 24 - Firefly

A/N: Hi Readers! I had a lot of fun finishing up the fire. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so far, and enjoy the twist at the end!

* * *

Entering the burning building, I descended into Hell.

Fun fact: when a building burns from top to bottom, it is "burning down". When a building burns from the ground upwards, it is "burning up". I would not be able to explain to you why that fact popped into my head while I was working my way through a burning building.

It was an odd sort of structure - five stories, and an odd u-shape with no central access. You had to enter the 'u' at either end, and work your way towards the center. On a good note - the stairwells were at those access points, and were farther from the central fire. But on the bad side, that meant I had to walk further in the hottest part of the fire to find the kid trapped upstairs.

Even with the stairs being spared from actual fire, the heat was still intense, and the sound was incredible.

Let's talk about heat. My college did an eight-foot tall bonfire every year, soaked it in flammable jelly, and lit it with three-foot torches. It was completely unapproachable closer than fifteen feet, and the heat was strong even one hundred feet away. That bonfire was tiny compared to this building, so try to imagine how far that heat could spread.

Now let's talk about the sound. I have always loved campfires and bonfires - big piles of dry wood that crack and pop merrily, and leave you with a primal, woodsy smell. Every so often the wind picks up and you get a _whoooooosh_ of flame and everyone cheers. In a structure fire, the flames are constantly on the search for oxygen. As a result, there is an eery sort of whistling that echoes around you of the air being sucked in through any air gap in the house.

And that's just one small sound. There is - of course - the typical crackle and roar of fire, but that's not even the worst part. The worst, and scariest, is when the building starts to groan.

At a high enough temperature, _anything_ will burn. If it doesn't burn, it will start to flex, or bend, or melt. As the building burns, the weight of the building will start to become too much for the weakening beams and floors and walls, and it will creak. After it creaks, it cracks. Then, there will be a long, drawn-out groan. Not long after the groans, things start to collapse.

I tried to draw short, shallow breaths as I worked my way up the stairwells. Stairwells are generally build to be stronger than the rest of the building in case of this exact situation - it's how people escape from fires, so they are build to be stronger than fire. Unfortunately, they still fill with smoke, and they're unbearably hot.

As I ascended, it got hotter, and the smoke grew thicker. I wanted to let me mind wander, to focus on anything else and get my mind off of the horrible situation, but I knew I needed to focus. I had to be aware of how little oxygen I had, and how hot it was, and how long I had been in the building. It all factored in to my chance of survival.

I reached the top of the stairs.

The fire door was closed, and the handle was already hot. I crouched down, tugging my sleeve down to protect my hand, and opened the door.

The top-floor hallways was almost completely engulfed in flame. Mercifully, it seemed as though the floor was still untouched, even though flames were creeping along the walls, all along the ceiling, and roaring in the apartments on either side.

_Here goes nothing_. I thought, trying to preserve the little air I had available.

I low-crawled down the hallway, kicking each door roughly and listening for the sounds of a crying child. I debated whether or not to call out for the kid - oxygen use versus efficacy of search.

"_Is anyone in here?!"_ I hollered, banging on another door. I would rather use up all my good air in one good search than have to come back around again.

No answer.

I crawled further down the hallway.

_"Is anyone in here?!_" I yelled again, almost missing the last word with a deep cough. The clean air was completely gone; at that point I was basically just breathing smoke.

No answer.

I beat on more doors with my feet, trying to keep my face as close to the floor as possible. I knew that the floors below me were filling with smoke, and that smoke was rising and displacing my air, but I imagined that it was helping me.

_"Is -" _I coughed several times. "_Is anyone in here?"_

There was a cry from inside.

I planted both feet firmly on the door, just below the doorknob, drew back, and struck with all the force of an angry bull-moose. The deadbolt ripped through the doorjamb, and the door burst open.

I rose from my crawl to a crouch, trying to identify the source of the crying. _"Hello?_" I called. "_Where are you?!_" The apartment was completely filled with smoke, and I could only see maybe three feet in front of me.

_"Mommy!_" the cry came from my right. I stood, for speed, and lost the rest of my vision in the thick smoke. I rushed toward the voice, bumping into various objects but generally going in the right direction.

The child continued to cry out - where on earth were they getting their air? I was sort of aware that I entered a back bedroom, and started searching under the bed, in the closet - all of the regular places a child might hide - but I just couldn't find him.

Another cry gave him away - little rascal was hiding in the _laundry basket_. What kid hides in dirty laundry? Weird.

"You're not my Mommy!" The kid accused, fighting my attempts to haul him out of the laundry hamper.

"I'm a firefighter - I'm gonna take you to your Mommy _right_ outside, ok?" There is wonderful magic in the words 'I'm a firefighter'. It is especially powerful on children under the age of five. In an instant, he was wrapped up in my arms.

As I turned to leave the room, something in the wall cracked and popped, and a bookshelf next to me suddenly collapsed, teetering over and slamming into my shoulder. I barely felt the flaming wood scrape a trail down my arm as I hunched to protect my ward.

With a grunt and a heave and a rush of adrenaline, I pushed the thin wood bookcase off of my shoulder. The child was screaming and coughing, and I patted his back to soothe him.

The walls were making unsettling crackling sounds.

"My name's J- _Aria_." I whispered. "What's yours?" With quick footsteps, we were out of the apartment, and back in the hall.

"Shou." He whispered back.

"Okay, Shou, can you do something for me?" He nodded into my neck. "I need you to hold your shirt over your face, ok? We're going to be outside soon." Shou complied, pulling his dirty t-shirt up over his face.

The floor was groaning. I was running out of time.

I didn't run down the hallway - that's a good way to trip over an unseen obstacle, or fall through a weak spot in the floor - but you bet your butt I power-walked down the hall. I got turned around at the end of the hall - convinced I had somehow missed the stairwell - and after a few long, agonizingly hot moments, I located the handle.

We were in the stairwell.

_Seven flights of stairs to go_.

It's hard to go down stairs with a heavy child in your arms. I suddenly wanted to thank my mother, who had done it countless times in my youth. It slowed out descent, and Shou was getting heavier with every step.

I desperately wanted to sit down, and take a break. We were out of the direct path of the fire for this moment, and it would be okay to take a quick break, right?

_Never._

One of the most important facts to know about large structure fires is that a terrifying number of people stop while descending the stairs in escaping a fire. On September 11th, 2001, workers descending the emergency stairs in the World Trade Center sat down to take a break. While understandable, most of them never made it out of the building. It's incredibly sad, but true. When you sit down, the sense of urgency is gone, and you quickly succumb to smoke inhalation, and pass out.

_Keep going_, I chanted in my head, _keep going, keep going, keep going._

I couldn't go one more step.

_Keep going_.

Not one more.

_Keep going!_

Not. one. more.

_Keep - _I stumbled a little as I tried to go down a step that didn't exist.

We had reached the bottom of the stairs.

In the same way that entering the stairwell had been akin to descending into Hell, exiting it again was like jumping into a cool swimming pool in the middle of Death Valley at noon on an August Day.

_Amazing_.

I dropped to me knees, gulping in fresh air and coughing out what felt like pure smoke. Even outside the building, I could feel heat rolling over me in waves from the burning building behind me.

With strength summoned from God-knows where, I shakily stood again, and took the precious steps required to get out of the fire-shadow of the building. The watching crowd soon spotted me and the bundle of Shou in my arms. There was a loud cry, and the frantic woman whose cries drove me into the building was running toward me, soon followed by others.

Swept into his mother's arms, Shou burst into tears, openly wailing and coughing like only young children can do.

On some unheard cue, the building behind me let out one final, aching groan, and collapsed. It spat small debris and pitch back smoke up and outwards, just as the wailing sound of sirens drifted in the air.

_Wow,_ I thought, _the response time in this neighborhood is terrible. _

* * *

I managed to make my escape before the first responders arrived, and avoided reporters altogether. The rest of the walk home felt like an eternity, and I considered curling up in the gutter and just sleeping there for fourteen or fifteen hours.

But no, I walked home.

I will skip entirely the torture of going up my own apartment stairs.

I wanted nothing more than to instantly jump into a hot shower, but I wanted to survey the damage from that damn bookcase falling on me first. I peeled off my sooty and sweat-soaked shirt, hissing in pain.

"Uuuuggggh... I hate this part." I moaned, turning to look at the damage. The burn was mostly superficial – dark red with significant white blistering, but with no charred patches. It was a serious first degree burn with small spots of second degree blistering. My shoulder and upper arm had taken a real beating.

I was a little pink all over, but that would probably be gone by morning. The burn, on the other hand, would take maybe 2-3 weeks, and probably scar a little.

"Ohhh... _fuck_." My hair was burnt on the ends. The smell was atrocious. I sighed, reaching for the kitchen shears.

* * *

It turns out stylists don't question if you tell them your five-year-old neice cut your hair while you were sleeping.

I ran my hands through my hair for the hundredth time. Somehow, even after several days of shorter hair, I kept forgetting it had been cut. The pixie-cut was a little utilitarian for my taste, but it was easy to manage.

I had managed to avoid Kichirou and Eiko until my pink-tinge had faded with a lie about having the flu. The lie included near-projectile vomiting. Kichi left chicken soup in front of my door, and called me when he was a safe distance away. Eiko left encouraging text messages.

But now that my all-over singe had faded, I was "healthy" again. Kichi immediately insisted on having a night in - dinner and a movie in my living room ("just in case you start feeling sick again").

I checked the clock, mentally calculating Kichirou's ETA. _Half an hour, if he isn't running early. _That left me enough time to re-dress my more serious burns, and put some clothes on.

The burns on my shoulder and arm were slowly (_so_ slowly) healing. The blisters were slowly shrinking, and if I poked the flesh I could feel the new layer forming underneath. Healing is cool, folks.

I slathered the area in a new layer of neosporin, and wrapped it in clean cotton gauze. I will say one things about being a firefighter - you get quite skilled at treating burns, and bandaging hard-to-reach places on your body.

_Way_ ahead of schedule, there was a knock at the door. I stuck my head out of the bathroom, checking the kitchen clock - Kichi was twenty minutes early. I - dressed in bra and underwear only - was hardly presentable.

"One minute!" I hollered at the door, darting into the bedroom and grabbing a pair of black leggings. _Damn it, legs, cooperate! _I swore as I managed to put them on backwards. Skills, here.

There was a louder, more insistent knock.

"Coming!" I yanked a chunky sweater over my head, almost missing the sleeves entirely. The bulk of the knit material would hide the odd shape of my shoulder bandages. I glanced in my mirror briefly to confirm, and trotted to the door.

"Kichi, you have _got_ to stop being so early!" I laughed, unlocking the deadbolt.

I opened the door, and was smacked with an instant sense of déjà vu. There was no tall and docile Kichirou, holding yet another bouquet of daisies, and staring at me with big doe eyes. No, instead there was an older set of eyes, piercing mine with fiery, garnet splendor. His cloak fluttered in the breeze, breaking the utter silence between us.

_Hiei._


	25. Chapter 25 - Strangers

A/N: Hi Readers! I'm so happy that everyone loved the house on fire scene. For those of you concerned about your smoke detectors, make sure they are Photoelectric! Ionizing detectors have been shown to take up to 30 minutes to go off.

* * *

When I was a little girl, I wandered a little too far from my front porch and was toddling around in the tall grasses. My father - a tall, strong man - had warned me many times in a forceful voice to avoid tall grasses in North Carolina. I, being younger than six, had a hard time remembering direct instructions. That area was well-known for snakes in the grass.

I explored the area for a while, picking wildflowers, and barely taking care to watch where I tread. The moment before I was about to step on the head of a sleeping Cottonmouth, my father appeared from nowhere and whipped me right off my feet and into the air.

Where normal children would cry at being so violently yanked into the air, I started giggling, even as my father began berating me for ignoring his warnings.

What does this story all mean? I didn't usually react strongly to strange and unexpected circumstances. But when Hiei appeared on my doorstep, I had an almost visceral reaction. Last time Hiei had showed up unexpectedly outside my door... nothing good had happened. Before I had enough reason in my mind to speak, I grabbed Hiei's arm and yanked him inside, slamming the apartment door shut.

"Did anyone see you?" I hissed.

Hiei paused, but replied. "No."

My mind raced for further words, but couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation for why Hiei would be in my apartment. _No contact_ had been a pretty clear condition from Kurama.

"Has something happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Nothing's happened." He replied, without further comment.

"I need a drink." I muttered, turning to go my little kitchen. It was after five o' clock, so I felt no guilt in pouring myself a glass of white wine. I stood in the kitchen, leaning on the island, mind churning. "I'm not supposed to be in touch with anyone. You're going to get me in trouble."

"No, I won't." Annoyingly, he again refrained from further comment.

"Why is that?" I asked shortly.

"Kurama did this at my request."

Hiei threw out that fact without any opener, and as a result it took me a few beats to process that. "_What the hell is wrong with you?_"

"It was _meant_ to keep you_ safe_."

"How is _exile_ keeping me safe?" I flung my hands up in the air as an alternative to punching Hiei and risk hurting myself.

"The temple is a magnet for demonic activity."

Even as I prepared to scream in outrage, there was a knock at the door, robbing me of a cathartic scream. My head whipped around so fast I almost got whiplash. _Oh... shit._

"Kichi - I totally forgot."

"Who is _Kichi_?" Hiei snarled.

I started pushing him towards the bedroom. "I need you to hide!"

Hiei didn't need to dig his heels into the ground to be an immovable object. "I do _not_ hide."

I stopped trying to push him, and instead tried begging. "I need you to go to the bedroom and stay there very quietly!" I clasped my hands together in a begging/prayer visage. Hiei eyed my piteous figure with an odd look, and took the slowest steps I had ever seen towards the bedroom. Or maybe it just seemed slow because I wanted to shove him through the door.

Ten long, slow steps later, I gave him a final shove through the door with a "please, _please_, be very quiet!" and shut the bedroom door.

I looked around the apartment frantically, making sure there was no evidence of a demon appearing at my doorstep, grabbed my glass of wine, and jogged to the door. I took a moment to catch my breath, and double-check that the bedroom door was closed. No signs of the angry fire demon.

"Hi, Kichi!" I greeted Kichirou with far too much enthusiasm.

the poor boy looked at me like I was still ill. "Are you okay? How many cups of coffee did you have today?" Kichi produced his usual bouquet of daisies - yellow daisies today. "For you, and Eiko."

"Only four cups - no big deal - and thank you, they're beautiful." With daisies in one hand and wine in the other, I invited him in. I put the bouquet in the sink, resolving to put them in a vase later.

Kichi took off his coat, draping it on one of my two dining chairs as he did at every visit. "Can I get you a drink? I started already." I offered, already reaching for the fridge door. Kichi liked red wine over white, but he wasn't about to turn down free alcohol. I swung it open as Kichi chuckled.

"Sure, I-" Kichi started, but, to my unending horror, I heard the bedroom door open at the other end of the apartment. My view was blocked by the fridge door, but the sound was impossible to miss.

"Who's this?" a voice purred - I did _not_ know Hiei's voice could make that velvety sound.

The rising, flaming blush in Kichirou's face told me it was not an innocent scene. I really, really didn't want to, but I peeked around the refrigerator door, and almost had a heart attack.

It would have been difficult for me, up until that moment, to describe Hiei's rather muscular nature. However, Hiei had disrobed almost entirely, leaving on only his pants, and those were barely hanging on at all. He was leaning in the frame of the door in a GQ-esque pose (not that Hiei would know what GQ was or how to pose like one of their models) but _damn_ if he didn't look sexy doing it.

_Focus_, Aria.

Hiei didn't need to move from the doorway to command the room. The fact that he looked like a well-fucked master of the bedroom probably had something to do with it.

But back to our story.

My poor, poor Kichi turned as red as a turnip. With the fastest apology I have ever heard - something that sounded like "_ohmygoshwhydidn'tyousaysomethingI'msosorrycallmetomorrow!" -_ he snatched his discarded coat and zipped right out the apartment door.

The first thing I could think to say wasn't that great, and it was shouted from behind the refuge of the fridge door.

"Put some clothes on!" The man's abs are distracting as hell.

Hiei of course had to be a wiseass. "I am wearing clothes," he replied.

"_You know what I mean!_" I shouted back. There was a moment of silence where I thought I was going to have to force-dress the man, but the jingle of metal signaled Hiei had at least re-fastened his pants.

Another moment or two later, I peeked out from behind the fridge. A surly - and mostly dressed, save for his cloak - Hiei was standing just outside the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest.

Safe from the distraction of his muscles, I let the ranting engage."What were you _thinking?" _I yelled, slamming the fridge shut.

Hiei ignored the question entirely. "Why did you have a man here?"

I gaped for a moment, trying to switch gears that fast. "Kichi is my friend, Hiei. He has been _here_ for me!"

Hiei walked slowly into the kitchen. "And this... 'friend' brings you dying plants?" Hiei plucked the bouquet out of the sink, the cellophane wrapping crinkling merrily.

"It's a human gesture, Hiei, and-" Hiei's hand and Kichi's daisies burst into flames. Hiei looked unfazed, and within only a few seconds the relatively contained inferno had reduced the flowers to a light layer of ash on Hiei's tightly clenched fist. I barely had time to notice at all that they vanished. Hiei wiped the ash off his hand with one of the dishtowels.

"Why would you do that?" I asked, my voice quieter than I had intended.

Hiei tossed the dishtowel on the counter. "Get your things; we're leaving."

It was so dismissive and disdainful it made my blood boil.

"Like _hell_ I am. You _dumped_ me here, and I think I kind of like it now." I'm sure that if I had been a demon, my head would have been on fire. That's how mad I was.

I really couldn't believe that after three months of radio silence, Hiei had the gall to saunter into my home, kick out my friends, set fire to my flowers, and _still_ expect me to follow him around like a little duckling. It was certainly making it difficult to remember what I had found pleasant about his company before now.

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "Don't force me to _make_ you leave." he threatened.

"Is that what you want? You know what, I don't care." I turned quickly to leave, and Hiei gripped my shoulder to stop me.

Of _course_ he happened to pick my bad shoulder.

The flesh was still sensitive, and as his fingers dug into the wounded flesh my vision swam. My knees buckled and I sank to the kitchen floor. It's a miracle I didn't slam my head against a counter on the way down. If that burn hadn't been a few days old, I probably would have passed out completely.

Burns hurt, folks.

Quick as lightning, Hiei had ripped open my sweater at the shoulder seam, and pulled back the clean cotton gauze. _Damn, I just changed that. _

_"What happened?_" Hiei demanded, his warm hands thankfully _not_ poking the screaming skin.

"I had an accident." I murmured, shaking my head to clear the woozy feeling. "Thanks for ruining my sweater." I sat up slowly, trying to tug the ruined fabric back over my bandages, but Hiei's hands kept getting in the way.

"Tell me the truth, woman!" If I hadn't been so mad, I probably would have been touched by the concern wrapped in the fury of his voice.

"You don't deserve it!" I snapped back, finally yanking the fabric over my arm. I got to my feet a little faster than I should have, and had to grip the counter for balance. Hiei watched me carefully, and the concern I could see only made me more angry, given that only a few moments before he had been willing to physically drag me out of the building.

I went postal.

"Did you know that Kurama changed my name? Did you know that I'm _Jessica Smith_ now? Jessica is a very interesting person - you should get to know her, Hiei! Jessica likes getting tattoos, and running into burning buildings!" I had turned into a raving lunatic of a woman, talking about myself in the third person. Hiei and I were strangers, and I was describing this terribly interesting person that he really needed to meet.

But beyond the introduction, I finally got back around to the first question I had asked, and he had never really answered.

"Why are you here? Why _now?_"

He was silent for a long time, and I didn't think he was going to answer me. I brushed past the demon, tugging my torn sweater higher. "I'm going to change, try not to ruin any more of my life for five minutes." I mumbled.

The bedroom door clicked loudly in the silence of the apartment. With great difficulty I tugged off what remained of my sweater. I poked my bandages back into something resembling their original placement - I would have to change them again later - and grabbed another sweater. Hopefully this one would escape the night unscathed.

As I turned to leave, I spotted Hiei's cloak, draped on the footboard of my bed. I remembered for a moment that it had been soft, last time I touched it.

I shook my head roughly to clear the thought, and opened my bedroom door.

Hiei hadn't moved from the kitchen.

"Why are you here?" I asked, a little calmer.

Hiei replied instantly.

"Because I found a way to fix you."


	26. Chapter 26 - Changes Undone

A/N: I just want to make a quick shout-out to my fiancé, who helps me fill in the story gaps that I have a tendency to create for myself, such as in this chapter. Now, altogether say "Thank you, Alex!" Because without him, this story would be awful. And stuck on chapter four.

And now, thanks to Alex, I present chapter 26!

* * *

I looked up with a dubious eye at the incredibly large doors in front of me. Why did the Spirit World need such large gates? I could only wonder.

"Is there any good reason why this absolutely _must_ be done in the Spirit World?" I truly loathed portal travel. I had been fairly compliant through my third experience with portals, and had managed to keep my snarky comments to myself upon seeing the size of the freaking _front doors_. The snark was starting to leak through, though, as we approached the you-must-be-compensating-for-something sized doors.

"Stop complaining." Hiei grunted, seemingly unbothered by the disorienting ride through the portal.

"I'm not complaining, I'm just asking why." I retorted, shooting him a nasty look. Lucky for me, thought, I wasn't alone with the irritable fire demon. My entourage on this fine day included the whole gang; Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara had been summoned to join us.

Kurama, in a helpful sort of mood, provided a better answer. "The energy required would draw too much attention in either the Demon or Humans worlds."

_You could have just said so_. I thought to Hiei. I was rusty at the ability, and wasn't sure it had 'sent' until he replied.

_I don't have to explain anything to you_. Came the sharp response.

I sighed inwardly. It was difficult to reconcile Hiei's sometimes charming nature with his unpredictable moods. _How about you get that stick out of your butt? _I shot back.

Kurama gave me a knowing sort of smile. It made me wonder how often he had been in mental arguments with the fire demon.

Two ogres - one blue, one yellow - greeted us inside the large doors.

"Good evening, Lady and Gentlemen." Blue greeted with a genteel little bow. Had I been in a better state of mind, I might have replied with something similar.

"Hi - which way to the torture chamber?" I chirped, and Yusuke elbowed me. "What? I'm just trying to have a little fun..." I've always been on to make jokes when in stressful situations; it's an odd sort of defense mechanism.

Blue and Yellow looked at me oddly.

"C'mon - let's get this over with." Yusuke interrupted the awkward scene. He seemed to know where he was going, and started down a hall to the left with his long, confident strides. I seemed to be the only person who had difficulty keeping pace with Yusuke, so I refrained from comment.

Yusuke seemed to arbitrarily choose a door in the hallway, shoving it open with a foot.

"We're heeeeeeeere!" He yelled, startling Koenma, who was waiting inside.

I almost burst out laughing at the thoroughly annoyed look on Koenma's face. It came out like more of a nervous chuckle, and said annoyed look was turned on me. I shut up.

The room was fairly sparse, with what looked like a large marble slab of rock- as large as a dining table - table smack in the middle, and a whole lot of bright lights shining down on it. On a rolling cart next to the table there was an array of terrifying and sharp tools, as well as a large glass jar.

"God, that looks awful." I muttered.

Yusuke clapped me on the back. "Cheer up - they could put you into one of Mukuro's tanks!"

"I'm going to pretend that's something that's supposed to_ actually_ cheer me up." I replied sourly.

I inched closer to the center of the room, fighting the urge to run out of the room screaming.

"How are you?" Koenma asked.

I smiled wryly. "You're the first person to ask me that so far." I let out that nervous little chuckle again. "I'm okay. Are we doing this?"

"Almost." He replied. Koenma directed his attention to Hiei. "Do you have the blade?"

"Hn. Of course." From the dark depths of his cloak, Hiei produced a small wrap of leather and cord. He tugged open the knot, and unfolded the material. Revealed was the strangest blade I have ever seen.

Think of a campfire as it has almost burned itself out - that sleepy black of coals with little flickers of fire and ember fluttering to life at the slightest breeze. That color and motion was somehow captured in the short, translucent black blade.

"Heart-seeker's Glass." Koenma accepted the tool with great care, not touching the odd glass-blade with his own flesh but keeping his grip firmly on the wood handle.

The blade itself was maybe ten inches long, and looked thin and fragile. "That doesn't look strong enough to cut through cheese, let alone demonic energy." I muttered.

"Heart-seeker's Glass doesn't exist in the same physical way that flesh does." Koenma explained. "Look-" As an example, he made a stabbing motion at the metal cart, and it sank through without a whisper of sound, stopping only at the wood handle. When he withdrew the blade there wasn't a mark to be seen on the metal.

"That's freaky." was the only comment I could come up with.

Koenma held the blade up to the light, examining the dancing colors contained in the glass. "The Glass only interacts with demonic energy. It's an effective method of carving it away from other energies." He lowered it again. "It's really quite fascinating."

There was a question that still bothered me. "Why wasn't this an option sooner?"

"I thought the last blade was destroyed several hundred years ago." Koenma replied, his eyes glancing around the group.

I felt like the stupid kid in the room, but I had to ask: "Why?"

"Because it robs demons of their energy, effectively killing them."

"Oh." The amount of tension in the room seemed to increase greatly. "Sorry." I added.

"It's alright." Koenma waved an arm at the large slab or marble that was the examining table. "Whenever you're ready, please lay down."

"Okeydoke." I felt everyone's eyes on me as I hopped up onto the table. The marble slab was freezing cold, and I tried not to shy away from the surface. _This isn't even the bad part_, I thought to myself.

"This is going to be uncomfortable." Koenma stood at my left side, brandishing the Heart-seeker's Glass blade.

"Gee, and here I was thinking separating demon energy from around my soul might only tickle."

I didn't need Koenma to tell me that he had started. My body felt like it had been submerged in battery acid, while someone was simultaneously trying to turn my body inside out, starting with my fingers and toes.

"_Hold her still_!" I heard Koenma yell, and I didn't realize that my arms and legs had been flailing wildly until everyone grabbed a limb, holding me down on the marble table. As they latched on, the pain increased twofold, and I screamed louder. My eyes and mouth were wide open, each screaming.

Hiei was holding my right arm, and I saw the Jagan flare suddenly under his headband. That purple glow appeared at the edges of my vision, but it couldn't block out the pain. It intensified further, pushing the glow away for a moment.

I thought I was dying. I was sobbing while I was screaming. I think I asked them to kill me.

The glow of the Jagan returned to my vision, and finally grew until my vision faded.

I was still lying on the marble table, but everyone except for Hiei was gone. He stood at my right hand as I sat up, and I ran my hands over my face. "What did you do?"

"I pushed your body to sleep, and I'm holding you there." he replied, not moving.

I nodded in vague understanding. "Thank you. I don't think… I mean… I've never felt anything like that."

Hiei snorted. "Taisho's energy is trying to stay attached to your soul, and Koenma is ripping it out. There is no other pain like that."

I hunched over, putting my head between my knees and trying to steady my breathing. The memory of my agony was still lingering at the edges of my senses; waiting for me to wake up to attack again.

"My shoulder hurts." I grumbled. And it did- being forcibly pinned down wasn't doing wonders for the healing burn.

"You should have taken the time to see Yukina." Hiei chastised. Ah, yes, Yukina and her wonderful glowing hands. I had forgotten. I had been in such a rush when I heard that I could be 'fixed' that I didn't bother even saying 'hi' to anyone at the temple.

Hiei and I had arrived at the temple, Yusuke and the others had been waiting for us, and we jumped into a portal. The end.

"I'll say hello when we get back, but I don't want to bother her." I rotated my arm a little, but stopped when I remembered I wasn't actually moving my arm in real life. "It's more than halfway healed, anyway."

The room grew painfully quiet.

"Why did you come back?" I asked out of the blue. Hiei didn't seem alarmed by the sudden question, and gave his frank reply.

"I found a way to fix you." Hiei's frank reply was obviously not actually helpful or explanatory.

"Okay, but... why did you go looking for a way to fix me? I'm confused... the last time I saw you it... didn't end well." I sighed, fiddling with my hands.

Hiei didn't answer me. He was silent for a long time, and finally returned with a question of his own. "Why did you cut your hair?"

I decided to be perfectly honest. "It burned off in a fire."

Hiei looked like he was about to yell, but stopped, his jaw clenching. The purple light at the edge of my senses pulsed.

"Hiei?" I wanted to reach out to him; he looked like he was in pain.

"It's nothing." He barked.

"Okay."

The awkward silence reigned supreme.

My honesty spilled out before I could stop it. "An apartment building caught fire, and there was a kid trapped inside. I got him out before the building collapsed."

The side of Hiei's mouth tweaked in a ghost of a smile, but his tone was sharp. "That was idiotic."

I shrugged. "I couldn't watch him die. And I had no reason not to try." There had been no one waiting for me, after all.

Hiei's gaze captured my own. Had I said that out loud? I didn't think so. I was starting to get a little uncomfortable when Hiei's own honesty seemed to spill out.

"I went to the Makai because you should be free of this burden." He spoke quickly; not in his usual, casual, measured tone. If he had been anyone else, I would have said he was embarrassed. But this was Hiei.

To save him from his own honest moment, I changed the subject.

"I got another tattoo, too." Hiei raised an eyebrow, and I smiled. "Yup- remind me later and I'll show you." I thought about checking to see if my tattoos existed in my dream body, but I just didn't have the energy.

I smiled at Hiei, and the side of his mouth twitched a little. I would have to call that a Hiei-smile.

"Hiei." His red eyes flickered to me. "Why did you go looking for a way to fix me?"

The Hiei-smile vanished. "I told you."

"I know, but I think there's more to it than you're telling me." I was prying, but the point felt important to me."

"Nonsense." Hiei's sharp tone was meant to stop the inquiry, I'm sure, but it didn't dissuade me.

"_Hiei_." My tone was more stern than I had intended, so I tried to soften it again. "If there's something you need to say, now's a good time. There's no one here but you and me."

Hiei stood very close, and even in my dream-state he could envelop me in his heat. His eyes darted all over my face, and I was certain he was going to say something.

The pain surged without warning through my dream-state, and I felt myself seize up, arms flexing and shaking, and teeth clenched hard.

I was very vaguely aware of warm hands gripping my arms and stilling my shaking motions.

The purple light at the edge of my senses surged to match the growing pain, and the Jagan won out. I gasped for breath I didn't know I had been holding, and slowly unclenched my hands, one finger at a time.

I could just see beads of sweat on Hiei's face, and his hands were clenched. It was taking a lot of concentration to keep me out of pain.

"I'm sorry." I offered.

"It's almost over." He replied.

The uncomfortable silence threatened to return, so I offered an olive branch.

"I missed you, when you were gone - when _I _was gone. I didn't want to. But I did." I said this to my shoes, just because I didn't want to see Hiei's expression. That admission felt like a terrible weakness. What did that mean about me that I missed someone who left a horrible impression? Was I overly forgiving? Naïve?

"Did you miss America?" His question seemed off-topic. I shrugged.

"I didn't really think about it much." Hiei grunted, but didn't reply further.

I glanced to Hiei, and in the same moment he glanced off to the side, seemingly at a blank wall. It was intense, and I saw his jaw clench again.

"Hiei?"

"It's finished." He turned that intense stare to me, and my breath hitched a little. "Are you ready?" He asked, and I nodded. I tried to brace myself, but I knew it wouldn't help much. I laid back on the marble table, and closed my eyes.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of a developing headache? I woke up with a full-body and mind and soul ache. I fought back the urge to roll over and vomit from the pain. I had vomited more than enough times since coming to Japan, and really didn't want to ruin anyone's shoes.

"How do you feel?" _Oh my god, Koenma, you're such a jackass. How do you think I feel?_

"Peachy." I coughed out. Was I missing a lung? It certainly felt like it.

Even as I tried to settle the spinning feeling of the room, my eye was drawn to what had been an empty glass jar on the rolling cart beside me. It was now full of a pulsing, roiling, mustard yellow material. I would have said it looked like yellow dye dropped in water, but there was no water in the jar.

"Is that... Taisho's energy?" It had to be, but I still needed to ask.

"You should've seen it when it was coming out-OW! WHADD'YA DO THAT FOR URAMESHI?" Yusuke had whacked Kuwabara on the head with a sharp blow.

"She doesn't need to know that, you idiot!" Yusuke shot back, not bothering to scream at Kuwabara's level.

Koenma cleared his throat to speak, but Yusuke and Kuwabara continued to bicker even as he chimed in.

"We'd like to keep you here for a little while; just to make sure you're alright." Koenma declared. I thought about that demand for about a half second.

"Fuck that. I'm going home to my apartment." I reached out a hand for balance as I sat up, and found Hiei's hand gripping mine. He didn't assist me, but provided a stable point for me to help myself. My muscles were incredibly weak.

The stable point came with a price, it seemed, as Hiei made his own declaration. "You're staying at the temple tonight." He stated plainly.

"I don't wanna." I whined.

"Too damn bad." He shot back. I pouted, but Hiei took no mercy on my Bambi-eyes. I sighed and gave in.

* * *

I wouldn't be able to tell you with much certainty how we got back to the temple. I know there must have been a trip through a portal somewhere in there, but I don't remember and Kuwabara have told me since that I whined like an over-tired three year-old child.

When we were well inside the temple, however, my memory is clearer.

Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama bid me speedy recovery from the common room, and Hiei helped me towards the back of the temple. For some reason, at that moment I decided I wanted to be an adult again. I let go of his arm, swayed a little bit, and steadied myself with a wall.

"I'm a big girl, Hiei. I can find my bedroom on my own."

He looked at me dubiously. "Don't cry for me if you fall over."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and left him in the common room. I was an adult! I could totally find my own room.

I stumbled my way down the hall, taking teeny tiny steps to prevent what felt like an imminent fall. How many doors down the hallway was my bedroom? Three? I think it was three. It had been several months, and I was too tired to remember properly, but three sounded right.

The door was frustratingly complicated. Why did doorknobs need to be turned? Why couldn't I just push the door out of my way?

The door yielded, and I stumbled inside. With a flick of the light switch, it became quickly apparent to even my exhausted brain that I was not in my own bedroom. Three was apparently not the right number of doors.

The room was almost completely bare. There was a simple futon on the floor, and a small side table next to the window. And damn my curiosity, I managed to snoop even further.

There was a whetstone, a small cloth, and a small glass vial filled with a clear liquid.

The vial from the Architect.

This was Hiei's room.

Faster than I should have been able to summon the energy, I plunked down beside the side table, and with little to no hesitation, picked up the glass vial.

I turned the glass vial over and back in my hands, trying to comprehend what was so dangerous about a little liquid. I took off the little cap, and slowly lifted it to my nose. I took a hesitant sniff, but it didn't smell like anything.

I turned the cap over in my hands, about to recap the mysterious liquid, and nearly dropped the cap. It had pricked me! A drop of blood quickly welled up on my fingertip.

"Damn…" I muttered.

As I watched, the blood slipped over the lip of the glass vial, and – if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed it – _crystallized_ in the clear liquid.

I dropped the vial, and it shattered on the floor, the little red jewel skittering across the floor.

"H-Hiei! _Hiei! _I screamed his name, holding my faintly bleeding finger tightly in my other hand.

In only two moments he burst into the room, sword drawn, eyes blazing; my avenging angel. "_What is it? What's wrong?_"

I pointed with a shaky finger to the gem across the floor. I was petrified with fear and confusion, unable to process the moment properly.

Hiei sheathed his katana, and walked slowly across the space. He crouched quickly, and with a deft hand retrieved the gem without taking his eyes off of me.

An explanation spilled from my lips. "I thought this was my room, and I was curious, and I – I took the vial from the Architect, and something pricked me, and my blood – in the liquid…" My words ran out, and my breath hitched. I was terrified; not of Hiei, but of my own blood.

He rolled the perfect red gemstone between his fingers, examining it carefully.

"Call Koenma. _Now._"


	27. Chapter 27 - Song of the River

A/N: I titled this chapter even before I started writing. I looked for a poem that sort of fit that idea (I'm terrible that way), and I stumbled upon Maya Angelou's "Inauguration". I really loved the growing sense of belonging, and of hope. The plot actually changed fairly significantly with this chapter, as it originally ended _very _differently, but I didn't like how it changed the character.

It's a very different style from all of the other chapters, given the interruption of the poem, but I encourage you not to skip the poetry in your haste to read what happens next. It is my favorite chapter.

When you're done, please review! It's what I live for!

* * *

It was just impossible for me to sleep. Sure, I had slept from sheer exhaustion after Koenma yanked out Taisho's energy, but I had spent the last full day staring at a tiny, red gemstone on a table.

_Bloodstone_.

It was an appropriate name for a terrible spiritual gift. When my blood was combined with a weak Makai toxin, it changed into a priceless gemstone.

The Architect had been right – I had something valuable that demons wanted. That's why the Architct built me a new body. That's why Taisho sewed my soul into a new body.

_"I thought that trait had been completely harvested from human bloodlines." _Koenma had remarked, as if it were not the most horrifying statement anyone could utter. I had forgotten ancestors who had been "harvested" for their priceless blood. Bled dry so a demon could bathe in gold and power for the rest of their lives.

Koenma had sent the boys, along with the jar of Taisho's energy, off to the Makai to hunt down my pursuer.

And there I was, on the porch of the temple at an unreasonable hour of the night, just trying to hold it together.

_A Rock, A River, A Tree_  
_Hosts to species long since departed,_  
_Marked the mastodon._

_The dinosaur, who left dry tokens_  
_Of their sojourn here_  
_On our planet floor,_  
_Any broad alarm of their hastening doom_  
_Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages._

I sighed, and my breath fogged a little in the cold night air.

I was slowly coming to terms with my permanence in this world. A win here, a loss there, I suppose. I had gained the sole propriety of my body, but lost a sense of certainty. To countless demons, I was worth a fortune after they bled me dry.

It haunted me. I wanted to go back even one step - back to before the marble slab.

Back to before Kichirou.

Back to before the apartment.

Back to before I argued with Hiei.

Back to the closet.

Back to America.

I wrapped my borrowed clothes around me, and thought of home.

_But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly, forcefully,_  
_Come, you may stand upon my_  
_Back and face your distant destiny,_  
_But seek no haven in my shadow._

_I will give you no more hiding place down here._

Imagine, for just a moment, walking out the door of your childhood home with nothing in hand. No photos. No objects of past comfort. No well-worn blankets or treasured heirlooms. Nothing.

And you can never look back.

Now – walk into a new home. You don't know where the spoons are kept, or how to unlock the sticky doors, or what that mystery light switch turns on in the house. The bed is wrong, and the towels smell wrong, and the floor under your feet doesn't creak like it should.

And you can never leave.

In a combination of those situations, your soul cries out with terrible agony. Home is gone, and home is unfamiliar. You reach for the comforts of days gone by and can only grasp at memories already fading.

Now add to that loneliness a mounting sense that the world around you must hate you. You were made to be destroyed again. Someone has watched over your pain in delight, waiting for their moment of fortune.

_You, created only a little lower than_  
_The angels, have crouched too long in_  
_The bruising darkness,_  
_Have lain too long_  
_Face down in ignorance._

_Your mouths spilling words_  
_Armed for slaughter._

_The Rock cries out today, you may stand on me,_  
_But do not hide your face._

But maybe, I hoped, just maybe, I could make this my home. I had let go of a great deal to just sit there in peace on the porch – to curl my arms around my knees and feel good and sorry for myself.

I had no photos to drag me back to America, only my memories and a sense of longing for the simpler life. Before demons, and before death, what I had considered to be "difficult" now felt very unimportant.

_Across the wall of the world,_  
_A River sings a beautiful song,_  
_Come rest here by my side._

_Each of you a bordered country,_  
_Delicate and strangely made proud,_  
_Yet thrusting perpetually under siege._

_Your armed struggles for profit_  
_Have left collars of waste upon_  
_My shore, currents of debris upon my breast._

My sweater wasn't quite thick enough to ward off the evening chill, and I found myself wishing for the presence of a certain angry fire demon. I felt a wave of shame wash over me for that attraction, as a part of me was still somehow tied to a hope that I could go home to a normal life. That I might wake up in America just one more time. That hope gave me no comfort as I realized it wasn't truly what I wanted.

I wrapped my sweater tighter, and buried my hands in my armpits, hoping to keep them warm.

I was left with very little save for my thoughts; I had been arguing and bargaining with myself all night without saying a word. I had realized I was struggling with myself every day to fight away a loneliness that I clung to with desperation. That loneliness and that void feeling was all I had left of a world that had been my home.

I liked to think sometimes that my fiancé and my friends in America would want me to hold on for them, to be strong, and to remember where I came from. That they would come for me. That I would be with them again.

I also knew that there was no way they would be able to find me, or even relate to this situation. Again, I was on my own. I knew I had to let go if I wanted to move forward, and to leave the void.

_Yet, today I call you to my riverside,_  
_If you will study war no more. Come,_

_Clad in peace and I will sing the songs_  
_The Creator gave to me when I and the_  
_Tree and the stone were one._

_Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your_  
_Brow and when you yet knew you still_  
_Knew nothing._

_The River sings and sings on._

I could let go. I could let go of those feelings of regret and life's betrayal. I could do it, but it frightened me. Would that make me a terrible person? What kind of sociopath sheds relationships and memories like water on stone?

But I didn't want to be sad anymore. I didn't want to wish for a life that couldn't be, and I didn't want to hate the growing feeling of attraction I felt for a different man. Some part of me knew that he was also attracted, but was holding back his feelings for my sake. Or for the shame that I has human, not demon, but I would think about that later.

My mind would drift and long for his presence. I could feel his presence when I entered a room, and silently hoped he would stand by me and bless me with his warmth. I knew the touch of his hand, and was haunted by the rough pine scent that lingered on his skin from god knows where.

In the past, that level of knowing had taken years to grow. With Hiei…

_There is a true yearning to respond to_  
_The singing River and the wise Rock._

_So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew_  
_The African and Native American, the Sioux,_  
_The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek_  
_The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheikh,_  
_The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,_  
_The privileged, the homeless, the Teacher._  
_They hear. They all hear_  
_The speaking of the Tree._

As my gaze drifted from the slowly brightening sky to Genkai's forest, I spotted movement. Curiosity has never brought me anything good, but of course I hopped off the porch and crossed the grass between the temple and the forest.

"Hello?" I called into the darkness. My bare feet were cold in the dewy grass, but I forgot about my toes as soon as my call was answered by a rustling in the bushes.

"Whoever you are, you'd better get lost - sneaky demons have a way of going missing in these woods!" I threatened, leaning into the darkness. As I leaned in, a monstrous-sized hand shot out of the gloom and seized me by the throat.

_Today, the first and last of every Tree_  
_Speaks to humankind. Come to me, here beside the River._

_Plant yourself beside me, here beside the River._

_Each of you, descendant of some passed_  
_On traveller, has been paid for._

The giant's hand wrapped thick sausage-fingers around my neck, and a huge body emerged from the gloom. The giant lifted me, bringing me face-to-face with the ugliest demon I had ever seen. He was purple, somewhat slimy, and covered in what looked like a thin layer of fungus.

_You, who gave me my first name, you_  
_Pawnee, Apache and Seneca, you_  
_Cherokee Nation, who rested with me, then_  
_Forced on bloody feet, left me to the employment of_  
_Other seekers-desperate for gain,_  
_Starving for gold._

"Little mouse of a girl." He grunted, and the most foul smell poured from his mouth. It almost distracted me from the boar-like tusks sticking up and out of his wide mouth.

_You, the Turk, the Swede, the German, the Scot ..._  
_You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru, bought_  
_Sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare_  
_Praying for a dream._

My "glurk!" of a response while trying to respond was quite threatening, I'm sure.

_Here, root yourselves beside me._

_I am the Tree planted by the River,_  
_Which will not be moved._

"Taisho want little mouse-girl." He muttered to himself, confused. He leaned forward and sniffed me, and I caught a further whiff of his incredible odor of rotting meat. His hand flexed tighter around my throat, and my eyes watered.

_I, the Rock, I the River, I the Tree_  
_I am yours-your Passages have been paid._

_Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need_  
_For this bright morning dawning for you._

"We go now, little mouse." I wasn't sure if he was talking to himself, or talking to me, but I wanted to be nowhere near him. From god-knows-where he withdrew a small seashell, threw it at about 900 mph towards a tree. It shattered instantly, and a portal burst into life against the bark.

A portable portal. Nifty. Still didn't want to go in it.

_History, despite its wrenching pain,_  
_Cannot be unlived, and if faced_  
_With courage, need not be lived again._

_Lift up your eyes upon_  
_The day breaking for you._

_Give birth again_  
_To the dream._

I kicked him with a fury that would have made Hiei proud, right in the family jewels. He dropped me with a high-pitched howl of agony, and instantly realized his mistake. He reached again for me with a hand, while clutching at his genitals with the other, but I wasn't going to be caught again. I darted out of his reach, and deeper into the cover of the deadly forest.

_Women, children, men,_  
_Take it into the palms of your hands._

_Mold it into the shape of your most_  
_Private need. Sculpt it into_  
_The image of your most public self._  
_Lift up your hearts_  
_Each new hour holds new chances_  
_For new beginnings._

_Do not be wedded forever_  
_To fear, yoked eternally_  
_To brutishness._

I was losing the cover of darkness as day began to dawn. Weak fingers of light were streaking through the gloom of the trees, and I could hear gigantor snapping trees like twigs as he rumbled along behind me.

_The horizon leans forward,_  
_Offering you space to place new steps of change._  
_Here, on the pulse of this fine day_  
_You may have the courage_  
_To look up and out upon me, the_  
_Rock, the River, the Tree, your country._

He screamed something unintelligible behind me.

_No less to Midas than the mendicant._

Where was I supposed to go? Where could I hide? He would rip apart the whole forest, but I couldn't go back to the temple. The thought of gigantor wrapping fungus sausage-fingers around the tiny Yukina's neck was out of the question. As long as I could still run, I would run.

_No less to you now than the mastodon then._

I was running for my life. My bare feet slipped and slid around on the wet morning grass, and threatened to whip my feet out from under me.

_Here on the pulse of this new day_  
_You may have the grace to look up and out_  
_And into your sister's eyes, into_  
_Your brother's face, your country_  
_And say simply_

My breath caught in my throat as I almost hurled myself over the edge of a cliff in my haste. I panted, my breath fogging in the weak morning light. My thoughts raced, and before I could change my course, the demon stepped out of the underbrush behind me.

"Caught you, little mouse."

No options but one, I stepped back as he reached for my neck. The sun blasted over the horizon with bright fury, blinding the demon for just a moment.

.

_Very simply_

_._

His brow furrowed for only a moment as I flexed my legs, then his eyes widened and he lunged for me – too late.

.

_With hope_

_._

I flung myself out into the open air backwards, and enjoyed the furious expression on his face and his roar of frustration as I plummeted away from his reach.

.

.

.

_Good morning._

_._

_._

_._


	28. Chapter 28 - Little Mouse, Little Bird

A/N: Hey out there, real world. You will absolutely love this chapter, I promise you that.

And a correction - the poem in the last chapter is titled "On the Pulse of Morning".

* * *

I didn't fall far.

With what felt like nearly late timing, I was caught by a pair of familiar arms and whipped quickly in another trajectory. I was instantly wrapped in a scorchingly hot aura that smelled of pine and smoke. Without hesitation, I curled into Hiei's chest, burying my face into the rough texture of his coat.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to say thank you. Instead of any good action, I clung to Hiei desperately.

"_What the hell were you thinking?_" He snapped at me as we flew through the air at unreasonable speeds. His tone was sharp and hurtful, but his hands were gentle under my knees and on my back.

Tree branches scraped at my body as we landed in a tree - and _not_ in Hiei's usual gentle fashion. He set me down hard on a tree branch, but I didn't let go of his cloak. I think my lack of reasonable action was disturbing him.

"Onna, are you hurt?" He asked it almost softly - his hands quickly checked my head and arms, finding no injury. I shook my head stiffly, and winced as my neck remembered that I was almost strangled to death. Firm hands directed my face away from his coat, and he tilted my head this way and that to examine my neck.

"Is it bad?" I sounded like a squashed frog. How attractive.

"Hn. You'll live." He let go of my chin, and the intense heat that surrounds his body abandoned me.

There was a horribly pained scream from the clifftop above, and we both glanced up. Hiei smirked.

_Kurama? _I thought to Hiei, trying to save what remained of my voice.

"Hn." Hiei grunted confirmation."Foxes are territorial."

_But Kurama hates my guts_, I replied.

"It's not his territory, but he protects it all the same."

I didn't get a chance to ask for clarification. Hiei glanced up at the clifftop again, answering a call I didn't hear. He focused on that unheard sound for a moment, before looking back at me.

"Time to go." Faster than I could process, Hiei had gathered me up again, and he took flight. Far be it for me to question why, Hiei was definitely deliberately avoiding the question that had been about to follow his statement on territory.

We were at the clifftop in half a moment. Given the bloody nature of the scene that was waiting, and oddly spotless Kurama was waiting for us, a thorny, green whip in hand. That whip was wrapped around my attackers' neck, who just happened to be missing both arms. He was leaking blue blood profusely onto the grass around him. He was kneeling in the bloody grass, wheezing around the tight grip of the whip.

Kurama greeted us with a pleasant smile and a nod. "I'm glad to see you alive, Aria." I was taken aback by his sudden courtesy for me.

"Mostly alive, anyway." I croaked back with a cheeky grin. Kurama chuckled, which disturbed me more. He then directed his cloaked gaze to Hiei. "Are you staying? Ghee and I are having a lovely conversation. It seems he would be partial to living after this incident."

"Hn. No."

"Later, at the Temple, then." And with a blur of green forest, Hiei and I left Kurama and his subject to their "conversation".

I had never before had the privilege of traveling at Hiei's speed. It's a wonder it takes the man more than half a second to do anything. As he ran, I wondered for a moment if the world around him seemed to move in slow-motion, and he was the only person running at the right speed.

Wrapped in his arms, my head was resting against his collar, and I could only smell the delightful scent that is Hiei. He was the kind of warm you only feel when sitting next to the perfect campfire after the perfect Summer day.

We came to an abrupt halt on the Temple porch, and Hiei set me on my feet. The door slid open about a quarter second later, and Kuwabara appeared. I saw a brief flash of excitement and relief, before his head was literally stomped out of the way by Yusuke.

"Don't just open doors without knowing who's there, dumbass!" Yusuke hollered at poor Kuwabara.

"Get off me, Urameshi! I knew it was them!" Kuwabara yelled back up, already flailing to get back on his feet.

"Hi guys." I croaked. My weak voice somehow managed to be heard over the two yahoos, and they stopped arguing to stare at me.

"...you sound almost dead." Yusuke commented, and Kuwabara punched him in the stomach - an impressive feat from his position under Yusuke's foot.

"_Urameshi!_ You can't stay stuff like that about girls!"

Hiei had no patience for the bickering two. As they erupted into yet another brawl, Hiei grabbed me and we flitted around them and into the common room of the Temple.

Yukina and Genkai were sitting at the low table; Yukina was in a long nightgown, but Genkai was somehow in her usual clothing - did the old woman just wear the same thing all the time? Confusing old bat.

Yukina's eyes were brimming with tears, and as she saw me she cried out on joy, rushing up from the table and enveloping me in a tight hug.

"I was so scared!" She cried, squeezing harder. "I thought... I thought..." There was a _clack-clack-clack_ of something falling to the floor over my shoulder.

"I'm okay, I promise." I wheezed, rubbing Yukina's back.

"_Oh!_" She cried in a tiny voice, pulling back sharply from the hug. "You're hurt! I'm so sorry - please sit!" Yukina all but pushed me into sitting at the low table. "Can you take off your sweater?" she urged, as the high collar was obstructing her view. I had a cami on underneath, so I obliged, cringing a little as it pulled at my neck.

As I folded it, I tried not to be self-conscious about my neck, healing burns, and chest tattoo. Yukina and her beautiful glowing hands didn't judge, and without any comment she placed cool hands gently on my neck.

"I'm so sorry we weren't awake to help you." Yukina apologized profusely, eyes brimming with tears again.

"No more tears." Hiei said softly. He reached over my shoulder, and placed three perfect blue little spheres on the table.

_Where did those come from?_ I thought.

"As a Koorime, Yukina's tears become valuable gemstones called _Hiruseki_." Genkai grunted across the table, sweeping the gemstones swiftly from the surface and out of view. "It's best not to leave them lying around."

"Turn around, please." Yukina said quietly. I complied, and she started on the burn on my shoulder and back.

"We should start a club, you and I, of people who have gemstone body parts." I tried to joke, but it came out rather flat. Yukina honored me with a small giggle anyway. I had the feeling she had been wrestling with her own demons for a while, and had come to term with it a long time ago.

With nervous hands, I traced the raised skin of my chest tattoo, now completely in view above the line of my camisole. I caught Hiei following the motion; examining my tattoo. I made no comment.

"That's the best I can do on the shoulder, I'm afraid - it was mostly healed on it's own, but you'll have that scar..." She was so apologetic, I had to stop her, or else I was afraid she might tear up again.

"It's fine, really - it's just nice not to sound like a 4-pack a day smoker." I rolled my shoulder experimentally, and although I felt a tug of scar tissue, it felt much better, as did my neck.

"Come on," Genkai grumbled as she stood. "I'm not sitting here all day." She shot me a quick glance, and a nod, and I figured that was about as much of a "_good job not dying_" as I was going to get from Genkai. Yukina followed soon after, but only after asking two more times if I was _really_ okay. I reassured her that I was, and she disappeared after Genkai. What those two did all day I had no idea.

I was about to say something to Hiei, when Yusuke and Kuwabara rejoined us, having worked out whatever their latest dispute might have been.

"Kurama's through with Ghee - he's on his way back now." Yusuke offered, and in almost synchrony, they plunked down at the table with all the grace of wet noodles. "Nice tattoo!" He pointed to the magnolias, and I traced the outline quickly, feeling self-conscious again.

"Thanks - and Ghee?" I asked.

Kurama's voice chimed in from the doorway behind me."The trees at the cliff will be well-fertilized for years to come." I jumped at Kurama's sudden presence - just like Hiei, he made hardly a sound when he moved.

"So what's the deal?" Yusuke chirped, leaning across the table as best he could. Kurama sat at the remaining place at the table, while Hiei remained standing behind me.

"When Taisho's energy was removed from Aria's soul, he lost track of her, and immediately ordered her retrieval. Apparently, they tried the apartment first, as that was her last residence. This was the second guess." Kurama sighed. "Sadly, our friend was none too bright, and could be of no further assistance to us."

Yusuke rapped the table with his knuckles. "By now, Taisho knows that this plan didn't work. He's going to try again."

"Agreed." Kurama affirmed. He looked back over at me with a wry smile. "You need to stay at the Temple, and you absolutely cannot leave without an escort."

I resisted the urge to bang my head against the table. "So I'm a prisoner again." I sighed deeply.

I was expecting a smart remark from Yusuke, but it was Hiei who replied.

"Would you prefer to be dead?"

* * *

They boys spent the rest of the morning, and the better part of the afternoon at the Temple. I'm not sure if it was for my benefit, or for their own self-assurance that everything was actually alright. It had been a pretty damn close call, and Yusuke's bad jokes were some comfort.

It was hard to describe the realization of how much I had missed them until that morning. I had built a new life - my _third_ life, as it were - but it had been a hollow farce.

My first life - America - would always be important to me. But as I had realized last night, it wasn't what I wanted anymore. I had let go of the desire to return, and embraced my second life.

Now, this second life at the Temple was what I embraced with open arms. And bad jokes chorused by Kuwabara's guffaw and Kurama's polite chuckle.

At some point in the afternoon, Genkai came into the room and barked that anyone who didn't need to be there had to leave; she wasn't going to feed any more of us hooligans than she had to.

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama all stood to leave. Kurama stood around for a moment after the bickering duo left, and caught my eye. "Aria - might I have a word?" I glanced at Hiei, who appeared unconcerned and uninterested, so I had no good reason to avoid him

"Uh, sure." I replied, and Kurama gestured for me to follow him outside. We walked in silence until we were out of earshot, moving slowly around the perimeter of the Temple.

"I understand that you have been under the impression that I dislike you. I simply wanted to assure you that is not the case." Kurama offered me a benign smile, that truly appeared to be genuine. "I am... overprotective of the few people I consider to be my friends and family. You suffered for this, and I apologize."

I was unprepared for such a turnaround of behavior, and my mind raced for a possible explanation. My imaginary lightbulb finally lit. "Hiei mentioned that you protect this territory, even though it's not yours."

He chuckled, and nodded. "Yes, the two are related."

Kurama looked out over my overgrown and weedy garden rows - the rows that had damn near split my hands open with blood and blisters - and smiled approvingly. On that smile, all the weeds and little vines that had emerged from my hard labor quivered, and began to shrink in on themselves. Before my eyes, the plants regressed back to little seeds littered on the soil.

"You do all things with passion, Aria. I can appreciate that. July is a little late to start a garden, but it's been unseasonably cool, so who knows."

God, was it July already? I worked backwards, and came up with the same conclusion. Kurama left me with beautiful, perfect bare soil - just as I had left it three months ago. It was quite a gift.

"Aria." With his tone, Kurama demanded my attention."He's waiting." For the second time today, I was not allowed the follow-up question that I so desired, as Kurama bowed and promptly abandoned me. As he walked away, Hiei appeared around the corner. Hiei eyed the fox demon suspiciously as they passed; Kurama leaving with a secretive smile, and Hiei approaching.

"What did _he_ want?" Hiei growled, looking surly. I offered a smile in an attempt to placate him, but he still looked grouchy.

"He just wanted to help with the garden." I nodded to the bare garden rows, which still astonished me.

"Hn. Nosy fox."

I sighed. There was no pleasing some people. I changed the topic instead.

"Hiei, I've been meaning to say – _thank you_." I rarely had to provide Hiei with conversational context. I wasn't sure if he was reading my mind, or if he simply knew me that well, even after three months apart.

"Hn. Don't do it again." He scowled deeply.

"But what if I'm chased by another Godzilla?" I was joking, but obviously Hiei didn't catch that. Or he didn't care.

"_Don't._" He growled, eyes narrowing.

"But I_ love_ flying!" I giggled, waving my arms around.

"_Onna_…" he snarled, but it was so fun pushing his buttons.

"Besides, you _clearly_ have no good feelings for little old me, so what does it matter? Your life would be a lot easier if I had just gone _splat._" My sarcasm paired with a teasing smile did not make for a happy fire demon. I felt like a teenager again – goading a crush to finally take action.

He said nothing.

There was a long, awkward, pregnant silence between us. I shifted from one foot to the other. What was silence supposed to mean after a statement like that? Was it true? Not true?

_Two seconds of courage,_ I thought to myself, _I only need two seconds of courage._

I took a step forward, closing the gap between us swiftly. The rest of the world must move incredibly slow to the fire demon, and he could have easily stopped me, but he didn't. Hiei's energy enveloped me in his aura of heat, and before I could stop myself, I crossed the Rubicon and captured his lips with mine.

It wasn't a kiss to end the world, but it was an honest kiss. His lips were softer than I thought they would be. I lingered for only a few seconds, hoping to memorize the feeling.

The flush of embarrassment was already rising in my face as I pulled back.

Hiei didn't move. He said absolutely nothing, and the longer that nothing went on the faster my heart continued to beat. Had I been wrong? Had I just kissed someone who felt nothing for me?

_If I start running now, I can probably drown myself in the ocean before sundown_.

On my second step backwards, however, Hiei caught my arm. "Wait."

He slowly pulled me back into the heat of his presence, and his hand moved from my arm to my back. One hand pressed against the small of my back, his free hand brushed gently against my cheek, before running through the short, soft hairs on the back of my neck. I felt his chest rumble under my hands – like a predatory purr.

And then he kissed me.

* * *

A/N: I'm not certain this is the best I could have done with this chapter, but following my _favorite chapter_ anything would fall a little short. But hey, THEY FINALLY FREAKING KISS. Please please please review! It's what makes me write more!


	29. Chapter 29 - Awkward

A/N: Hi, readers. I'm sorry this chapter took a while to come out, but I really wrestled with myself over this one. I actually got about 2,000 words written before I decided I hated the turn the chapter had taken.

I sometimes get a little depressed that I can't write like my favorite Fanfic story of all time. I feel that, because I can't write at that level, I have no business writing a story. But then I try to imagine all of you sitting in a room staring at me, waiting for another chapter to come out, and that helps a little.

* * *

It's difficult to explain the immensity of the awkwardness that follows first kisses. But hopefully, in describing the conversations that followed, you will have some understanding.

The kiss was probably my favorite of all time. It was like being wrapped in a campfire that didn't burn you, but wrapped you in the softness that flames always seem to promise. With all the pretty words human boys had ever promised, none could hold a candle to this demon.

In his arms, I felt divine.

But when we moved apart, I felt woefully human again.

It took me a moment to remember what parts of my brain were necessary to speak. I licked my lips, trying to soothe the lingering heat.

"Um… I vote we table all discussions on this until after I have made some tea. Do you second?"

More painful silence.

"Alright."

We walked inside in complete silence. I was trying to think of the perfect thing to say about what had just happened - but no cohesive sentences were forming in my head.

In the kitchen, I brewed a stiff pot of tea. I grabbed two mugs, adding plenty of sugar to mine. Hiei stood in the kitchen doorway, hands hidden in his pockets.

"Do you want any tea?" I offered, teapot already poised over the second mug

"I've never had it before." He said quietly.

"Well, it's better than black coffee and not as good as hot chocolate." I handed him a steaming mug.

The silence hung between us for a time, before I blurted out a quick series of thoughts.

"Look - I'm just happy that I didn't die in that river in California, so I don't have any expectations for anything, like, at all. Whatever this is… is what it will be." I waved a hand between us, blushing a little.

"Are you suggesting you want this to continue?"

"Do _you_? I mean, that's really what it comes down to, right?"

"Answer my question."

"Is that the demon equivalent of 'I asked you first'?" I sighed. "I feel horribly vulnerable saying this, but yes. I do want this to continue."

"Hn. Then- " He stopped short in the statement, glancing to the side. At the same moment I recognized the quiet _tip-tap_ of footsteps, Hiei flickered out of view. A moment later, Yukina appeared in the doorway.

"Aria-chan! Is everything alright?" The little Koorime sounded so worried about me. It didn't help that I was standing in the kitchen by myself with a bewildered sort of look on my face.

"Uh, yeah, I'm just… processing the day."

"Oh, well I apologize if I disturbed you."

"Wait – Yukina – uh, what do you think of Hiei?"

"Hiei-san?" I nodded, and she thought for a moment. "He's complicated. There are a lot of things he could tell us, but chooses not to."

Yukina, with a tiny smile, was a brief vision of wisdom and sadness. There was a great secret hanging between her and Hiei, I gathered. And whatever it was, Yukina was on the informed side of said secret.

"There are a few more steps to be made, I think. But he'll get there. He's done a lot of good, though he won't admit to most of it." She giggled, covering her mouth with a delicate hand. I wasn't sure what to say in reply, but Yukina closed the conversation. "I'm glad you're alright, Aria-chan. Get some rest, alright?"

"Yeah, I'm headed to bed as soon as I finish this." I lifted the tea in gesture, and she replied with a beaming smile.

Hiei did not reappear after she left. I waited in the kitchen for a while, waiting, not drinking my tea. It was stone cold when I surrendered to the night. Silence and time to think have always been my worst enemy when it comes to self-doubt.

Hiei had disappeared when Yukina walked towards our conversation. There was definitely some deep secret between Hiei and Yukina, but no one was talking about it.

I wasn't sure what actions between the two to call significant to this great secret. I had never seen Hiei get angry around the gentle demoness, but that may not be important. Or it could be. He had collected her tear gems with care, but so might anyone else who cared for her wellbeing, so I couldn't place that action either.

It was terribly frustrating.

There was definitely something, and the endless possibilities ate at me.

I tried to sleep, but could only roll in endless possibilities.

* * *

I did not sleep well.

I hunched over my cereal at breakfast like an ex-felon, glaring sourly at the green and orange circles bobbing in the milk.

_I. Hate. Everything._

This was not an uncommon thought for me. Typically it was preceded by a night of heavy alcohol drinking and raucous partying, but unexplained kisses and over-thinking could definitely lead to sour thoughts.

I swirled my spoon in the cereal, and sighed.

"I need to go back to my apartment. My friends might have called the police already." I announced across the table. Genkai had been ignoring my sighs and sours looks all morning.

I had been incredibly smart enough to leave my cell phone in the apartment before running off to Spirit World to have some demonic energy removed. Kichirou and Eiko used to text me every day, so I was about three days behind on frantic emojis, I was sure.

"Then go. Hiei will keep an eye out." As the fire demon had yet to make an appearance, I don't know how she was planning on getting the message about his upcoming babysitting job, but I shrugged. Whatever, I had permission, and that cheered me up enough to finish my cereal without further hateful thoughts.

It was sort of weird wearing the clothes I kept in the temple again. They were all the hand-me-downs from Keiko and Shizuru, and none of the clothes I had collected for "Jessica" at my apartment. I opened the wrong drawer in the dresser accidentally, and a familiar green-gold glitter greeted me. I had forgotten all about the sequined dress. I stroked the fabric with a finger, reveling in the slippery material. I shut the drawer, and retrieved more practical clothing from the next drawer down.

I went out into the world in jeans and a tank top. This time there was no cab waiting for me at the bottom of Genkai's eternally long stairs. In no rush, I took my time descending. I was listening for any sign that Hiei was following – rustling branches, quick footsteps – but could detect nothing. I certainly _hoped_ that I had some sort of security following.

I weighed the idea of sending a thought to Hiei. I had done it yesterday when my throat was crushed, but… that was before. _Now_… I didn't know what conversation might follow. I was sort of hurt that I had admitted a relationship with Hiei was something I wanted, and he had vanished in the middle of a response.

_Damn it, Hiei, what were you going to say?_ I thought to myself. I was too chicken to throw that thought his way.

I wasn't sure I was going to like the answer, and that scared me.

As expected, the street was all but abandoned below. I knew I would have to walk a little while before I saw any traffic, but it wasn't the walk that seemed daunting. I would be further alone with my thoughts, the possibilities, my confusion, and my hurt. It was stirring into a giant shit-storm, that was for sure.

I caught a cab about a mile down the street, and slid into the backseat. I gave the driver the address, and off we went. I stared out the window, hoping to catch a flicker of black in the trees, or on a rooftop, but no luck.

Doubt is a heavy burden on the heart.

Try to appreciate a sunny day when you're weighted down by doubt.

I tapped my forehead against the glass. _Stop overthinking things. You'll get a chance to talk soon._

_Everything is fine._ I repeated to myself. _Everything is fine. _

My phone had no charge when I finally tracked it down in the apartment. But when it finally turned on again, I had correctly predicted the incredible number of texts that was waiting for me. I chuckled as I scrolled through the various 'hellooooooooo?' messages, the veiled demands for a response, the actual demands for a response, followed by several missed calls and voicemails.

I openly laughed as a new text message arrived at that moment from Eiko : '_txt me or im calling the cops!'. _

In a few quick taps the phone was ringing, and she picked up on the first ring. _"Where have you been?!" _Eiko screamed in my ear.

_You wouldn't believe me if I told you._ I thought, still laughing. "I went away for the weekend and forgot my phone is all – won't happen again." I tried to reassure her, but I was still subjected to a long lecture on friendship and valuing friends and courtesy before Eiko finally turned the conversation back around to focus on me.

"_Kichi says you dumped him for another guy? What the hell!?" _ Whoops. I had forgotten about Hiei's near-nude scene only a few days ago.

"Uh, I don't have an explanation for that."

"_I'm not judging you; I just thought everything was going great."_ Eiko was flighty like that, and for once it managed to work in my favor.

"Kichi and I make better friends, I think."

"_It's your bedroom, Jess, whatever. You're meeting me for lunch, right?" _Eiko demanded.

"Yes, yes, of course."

"_Good, because we need to make plans!"_

* * *

In her demanding way, Eiko managed to convince me to go out with her that night. Arata and Kichirou would join us, of course. While she had been concerned over the phone about our sudden 'break-up', when it came to planning a night at the club everyone had better be friends. _Or else_. No one ruined Eiko's club nights.

It was almost like stepping back in time one month. I was in the apartment, enjoying Eiko's verbal floundering and Kichi's pleasant company. And I was thinking about Hiei, but not too much.

It was nice to be able to choose from my own closet. It was getting warmer, so I didn't think it was wise to wear my leather patchwork leggings again. I chose a black skirt that hugged nicely from my hips all the way to my knees; very form-fitting, but still not too revealing. That and a breezy blue oversized t-shirt that nearly hung off my shoulders, black pumps, a few pieces of jewelry for pizzazz, and I was ready to go out.

Like always, I took a cab to the club of Eiko's choosing. Kichi had been waiting for me outside, and we met up with Eiko and Arata inside. As always, it was loud, and hot, and there were about 50% more people in the little basement club than any fire marshall would ever allow.

Moving around the room I realized with odd satisfaction that there were no windows at all inside the club. If I were in fact being watched and protected, my guardian would need to make themselves known somewhere in the building.

Kichi and I enjoyed a series of knowing smiles and waggling eyebrows as Eiko reminded us again that we needed to be civil with each other. We promised that we would, and left her and Arata on the dance floor while we approached an alcohol dispensing station. Ahhh, alcohol.

Scarcely had a few sips warmed my chest when Kichi's eyes grew wide, staring over my shoulder.

"Jess – isn't that…?" I followed Kichi's gaze. My heart sped as my eyes dragged across the crowd.

Have you seen two magnets drawn together across a space? When far apart, they don't seem to move at any great speed. But as you push them closer, there comes a moment when the magnetic attraction clicks, and they speed across the surface towards each other, slamming together in an attempt to become one piece of metal.

That's exactly what happened with my eyes.

My eyes sped through the crowd and slammed to a stop when they met red.

_Hiei._

I set my drink on the counter hastily, almost spilling it. "I'll be right back. Cover for me, ok?"

I fought my way through the crowded dance floor, answering to the magnetic power of those red eyes. Surly as hell, Hiei looked damn good. Gone was the familiar cloak. He wasn't wearing his typical fighting clothes either. Someone had managed to wrestle him into a deep red button-down shirt, black slacks, and oxfords. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, and the top button on his shirt was undone.

"I don't like this place." He growled as I approached. He was leaned up against a wall, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He certainly looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"I'm surprised you're here." I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. His discomfort was contagious

His eyes narrowed. "Why."

"I haven't seen you all day, and now you're here." I shrugged, trying to shake his burning eyes.

"You were told I would be following you." Hiei broke his lean from the wall, taking half a step towards me, which I matched with a half-step back.

"And you're stuck in a room full of humans – your least favorite people. You don't have to stay, Hiei. I'm sure you can just vanish and no one will even notice."

"What's wrong with you." He said it as such a declarative statement my blood flashed to boil.

"Nothing's wrong with me! I'm an amazing person! I just told someone that I wanted to be with them, and for _some _reason they vanished into thin air instead of answering me!" I don't know why those words were coming out of my mouth. I sounded like an awful bitch, but the shit-storm had been brewing all day and all night, and now that he was in front of me all hell was breaking loose in my head. "But if you don't want me, that's fine! I get it! I'm sure I can find someone in this dark, sweaty, basement club who-" As I turned away from him to gesture at the room full of sweaty human men, Hiei caught my arm.

"_I _want you." He said quietly.

"What?" My heart rate had skyrocketed, and it wasn't from my anger.

"You heard me. This isn't a game." And just like that, my frustration spiked again.

I pulled my arm out of his grasp – he wasn't holding tightly. "I know that! How can you say you want me when you ran away last night?"

"I did not _run._"

"The _fuck_ you didn't." I hissed. Hiei looked exasperated. "What? What am I _missing_ here, Hiei?"

"I wanted to give you a _choice_." He hissed. He glanced around the room, and his voice purred to life in the back of my mind. _In the Makai, if you have something precious or desirable, there is always another who will try to take it away from you. Not because they want it, but because they want to hurt you. If anyone were to learn that I desire you, I can't guarantee your safety._

"Oh cut the teen romance novel bullshit." I snapped.

"I know what I want, and I know you want the same, but that's the reality. Make your choice." Hiei snapped right back.

"You're an asshole." Shots fired.

"So you've said."

We glared at each other in some sort of mutual frustration. I was certainly digging in my heels on this, but to what end? I had worked myself into what I felt was righteous fury by turning assumptions and conjecture over and over in my head. Hiei had simply been a hit-and-run casualty of my raging emotions.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my reptilian desire to continue fighting. I had to resist my fight-or-flight instincts and just allow myself to be a regular person. I wasn't in grave danger at this very moment, and I was being a little ridiculous to boot.

I sighed deeply, and it relieved a little of the tension in my shoulders. "Well, I'm already marked for dead, so I may as well have a chance at being_ happy_ and marked for dead."

Hiei looked at me suspiciously, obviously still expecting an argument. "What does that mean?"

I offered a bemused smile. "It means… I would like to kiss you now. If that's ok."

"Hn. Nothing stopping you." Hiei smirked. Cheeky bastard.

He didn't move an inch, waiting for me to cover what little ground remained between us. I did so almost hesitantly, again waiting for some trick or twist of fate to strike me down. Instead, I was wrapped in the embrace of Hiei's fiery aura, and a calloused hand reached for my cheek as I grasped his shoulder. Oblivious to the _whump-whump-whump_ of the music and the mass of human bodies gyrating around us, I kissed the fire demon. And I damn sure liked it.

When I broke the kiss to breathe (somewhat important), Hiei glanced around the room. Even while sweeping me off my feet, the man was still ever-watchful for danger.

"Hn. You have reassured your friends that you're not dead, we can go now."

I pouted at Hiei's declaration. "Hey, maybe I want to dance a little."

Hiei snorted."This is _not _dancing."

"Look at you being all picky about human stuff." I teased, poking his arm.

Hiei responded to my teasing poke by snaking an arm around my waist, gently pulling me closer. He spoke very quietly into my ear, the gentle tone setting my heart all a-flutter. "If you want to dance, then I will find a time and a place for that. But for now, we should leave."

I cleared my throat to answer, but it didn't clear the fuzz developing on my brain. Gosh he was attractive. "Lead the way, O angry one."

He smirked. Cheeky bastard.


	30. Chapter 30 - Bleed

A/N: I just want to say thank you so much to all of my readers who left encouraging statements for me in their reviews. It means the world to me that you both love my story and take the time to encourage me in my dark moments.

_Thank you._

I had the opportunity very recently to speak with Col. Chris Hadfield, the Canadian Astronaut who until very recently was on the International Space Station. Among other wonderful things he spoke about, I had the opportunity to ask him if he had any advice for someone who feels as though they're struggling. He says you can't measure your life by anyone else's yardstick; that you should set goals for yourself, but not despair if you can't reach them. Do what you can today to reach that goal, even if it's just writing ten words of your novel, and then celebrate.

_Do what you can today, and then celebrate._

There is a lot of new information in this chapter, so buckle up.

* * *

Ask me how I ended up lying on a freezing cold steel table with a needle in my arm and Hiei standing over me like a protective bulldog. Go ahead. Ask me.

Well, it all started when I was four years old… just kidding.

It started the next morning. Koenma appeared while I was eating breakfast, and made an unusual request.

"You want me to _what_? I'm sorry, I think I just had a seizure, because I could have sworn you just said you want me to turn my blood into rocks again."

"It would be in a much more controlled environment, safe in the Spirit World." Koenma tried to reassure me.

I pursed my lips."No offense, but I didn't really enjoy my last trip."

"This would be completely different – just like donating blood at a human hospital." I wondered how Koenma would know what that experience is supposed to be like.

"Somehow I doubt that." I grumbled.

Despite my grumblings, I did agree to go to the Spirit World. Hiei followed sharply at my heels, looking both sour and concerned. But mostly sour. I was led by a green ogre down another long hallway to a room that looked too similar to my first Spirit World exam room, but instead of a surgical cart and a marble slab, it had a metal exam table, a Reaper who must have been a nurse, and a few rolling carts of medical supplies.

My nurse introduced herself as Ella, and beckoned me to sit down on the metal table.

In the usual fashion, she produced a series of sharp metal objects that instantly made Hiei snarl protectively. She backed off quickly, eyes wide.

"Hey – don't scare the nurse!" I chided, but Hiei didn't back down.

"She has a weapon."

"It's _fine_, Hiei. Calm down."

Hiei's eyes narrowed, but his aura of intense hostility did decrease. The nurse approached again, tied the standard rubber band around my arm, found a vein, and went for it.

I hissed in pain.

"Ooo, sorry dear, I blew the vein." Ella apologized.

"Yup." I groaned. "I can tell." What kind of training do Spirit World nurses get again?

"What. Happened." Hiei ground out.

As the nurse was pulling the needle out, of course I started bleeding somewhat profusely, because my wonderful nurse didn't have any gauze ready.

"It's ok, darlin'. She went through my vein with the needle, and now she gets to try again on the other arm." I squeezed his arm. "Everything's fine."

She inserted the needle on my other arm, but there wasn't a flash of blood.

"I know it's there, I just need to…" She wiggled the needle around my arm from side to side, trying to hit the elusive vein. I gritted my teeth, grimacing. It was damned uncomfortable. I had always had sucky veins for bloodwork, but I could usually request a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit nurse from whatever hospital I had been admitted to. Those nurses can get blood from the scalp vein of a preemie. It's impressive.

But unfortunately there were no NICU nurses in Spirit World.

Finally, after much fishing about, there was a flash of blood. The nurse and I sighed in relief in synchrony, and she proceeded to hook up all of the necessary tubing. She produced one of those crinkly medical pillows, and encouraged me to lie down while the blood flowed. I had no objections.

Hiei released his grip on the metal table. His grip had warped the metal edge.

"Aww. Did you get upset?" I teased.

"Hn. Nonsense." Hiei scoffed.

"Then the table must have done something really awful to you. _Bad_ table." I swatted the metal lightly, and giggled at my own little joke.

My blood flowed easily from the little tube into the bag. Hiei crouched to eye it suspiciously, and I heard a low growl. "They're taking too much. Humans can't lose a lot of blood."

For all the wrong reasons, Hiei was the source a great amount of amusement in my life."I can lose a pint without any problems, darlin'. People do it all the time."

My comment did not soothe the upset demon. "It seems both dangerous and unwise."

"I'll be a little lightheaded for the rest of the day, but that's it. My body will recreate almost all of the cells lost in the next 24-48 hours."

"I don't like it."

"I can tell."

I chuckled to myself as Hiei continued to glare at the blood bag. It filled fairly quickly, and before I knew it the nurse was unhooking me from the loop, and Koenma was rolling another metal cart into the room. He had a large glass beaker full of clear liquid on top of that cart, and I watched it with a very dubious eye.

As I sat up on the table, pressing gauze to the crook of my elbow, the nurse passed Koenma the blood bag. Koenma held the bag over the large glass beaker, and cleared his throat authoritatively. "We isolated the toxin used to crystallize your blood, and I'm confident this will work exactly like the vial from the Architect." He punctured the carefully gathered bag, and took a quick breath.

"Everybody cross your fingers."

Koenma poured the blood in one quick movement into the glass beaker. I realized at that moment that with the first tiny drop of blood that had signaled by hidden ability, I had missed the larger spectacular transformation that took place. Now, with this copious amount, a fantastic spectacle unfolded.

As my blood first made contact with the liquid, it instantly crystallized, but as the pour was long and continuous, the gem continued to grow larger upon itself, forming spires and spins as blood spattered on crystal and instantly crystallized. Some drops bounced and became tiny gems, sinking to the bottom of the beaker, but largely they stayed in one piece.

One giant Bloodstone.

"Wow." I breathed. "It's beautiful."

It was spectacular. With a pair of mean-looking metal tongs Koenma lifted the rock out of the toxin, and set it on a fluffy towel to dry off any of the remaining toxin. While it wasn't visible in the smaller stones, the larger stone seemed to have an internal glow, like the warm heart of a lava lamp.

"Why is it glowing like that?" I asked hesitantly.

Koenma tapped it with a finger. "It appears to contain a fair amount of your spirit energy."

"That sounds bad. Is that bad?" My voice grew nearly shrill, overcome with sudden gripping anxiety.

Koenma quickly shook his head. "It's bad only if you lose too much of it. But then again, if your spirit energy is in your blood, the amount of blood you would have to lose in order to give up that amount of spirit energy would definitely kill you." He leaned close to the glowing stone, close enough for it to cast a red shade on his face. "I've haven't seen a bloodstone in over five hundred years, but it wasn't much larger than a shirt button. It was too small for the glow or the spirit energy to register like this one."

"That's where the value comes from." Hiei offered.

Koenma nodded. "It would make sense. Besides being incredibly rare, it's a source of power. And this is just blood – imagine the power-"

"That's enough speculation." Hiei snapped, cutting Koenma short.

I cleared my throat, attempting to clear the awkward silence that was developing."So what now?"

"I'd like to run a few tests, if you don't mind." Koenma wrapped the glowing stone in the fluffy towel, almost obscuring all of the light. Some of the glow still escaped.

I shrugged. "It's not like I plan on grinding it up and sticking it back in."

Koenma laughed. "I'll let you know what I find. Go home and take it easy."

* * *

Portal travel was becoming a little less unpleasant every time. I sat at the table in the temple, drinking orange juice and trying to ignore and over-attentive fire demon. Hiei, while being neither physically supportive nor vocally upset, was still watching me like a hawk. Every time I said something along the lines of 'I'm fine', he would reply with something like 'I know', but would still continue staring.

In an attempt to avoid the increasingly odd amount of staring I was being subjected to, I grabbed a blanket from my bedroom and escaped outside. I found myself a semi-shaded patch of grass that just begged to be slept on. I shook the blanket open, and spread it out on the soft turf.

I lay spread-eagle on my back, enjoying the dappled light and warm breeze. Perfection.

"You look dead." Perfection ruined.

I groaned, sighed, and replied to the angry fire demon. "How romantic you are, Hiei. I can't believe how easily you sweep me off my feet."

"I have food. Yukina made it." My eyes were open instantly, and I rolled over onto my stomach, propped myself up on my elbow, and reached out with a hand and a smile.

"Doesn't matter – still food." Hiei smirked, and handed me a little plate with a sandwich on it.

"Tomato, ham and cheese?"

"Hn." He confirmed. Don't ask me how I can tell all of Hiei's grunts apart, I just can.

I took a big bite of the sandwich, but the mention of Yukina brought my niggling question to rise again. I chewed quickly, so I could blurt out a quick question.

"There's a secret between you and Yukina and I want to know what it is."

I think the moment that followed is the only time in my life I have seen any organism completely freeze. I mean not breathing, not blinking, not moving at all. Hiei turned almost to stone. Another moment later, he took a shallow breath.

We made a funny image together at that moment; him, standing next to the blanket barely breathing, and me, propped up on my elbows on said blanket holding a half-eaten sandwich.

Hiei took another short breath

_It's a secret for a reason._ He said quietly across our connection.

_It's important, _I answered_. It can't possibly be worse than what I've come up with in my own mind._

Hiei averted his gaze, which was upsetting to me. _The choices of my past are mine to bear, as are the consequences that follow._

_But you don't have to be alone. I know how you are at this moment, and I like what I see. _I shuffled to one side on the blanket, and patted the space with a free hand, and took a quick bite of my sandwich. To my surprise, Hiei sat down next to me, although he was still avoiding meeting my eyes.

"Hiei, if you choose to share, that's your choice, and I would welcome anything you choose to tell me. But before you lock away those memories forever, answer me this. If you had made a different choice at any point leading up until this moment, would you still be sitting here with me now?" I leaned somewhat awkwardly forward, trying to capture Hiei's eyes.

He met them for a moment to answer. "…No."

I leaned against his arm, and offered my brightest smile. "Then I am happy for every choice you've made, and anything you have had to do to get here today. There are enough reasons why the two of us shouldn't be sitting here together right now, enjoying a nice lunch, that we should just count our blessings. Personal opinion."

Hiei met my smile with the oddest expression. His eyes were wide, and his brow was slightly furrowed. He looked surprised, confused, and-

Hiei turned in a flash, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me onto my back. He kissed me fiercely. While, yes, we had only shared three kisses to this point, I would have called those sweet. This was passionate, and almost desperate. Or, as a better description, it might have better fit the typical dying-man-and-a-glass-of-water analogy. Or maybe my statement had just surprised him, and that was the only way he knew how to express his feeling on the matter.

Any way you look at it, it was a great moment.

I lay back on the blanket again, staring up into the dappled light. Hiei sat beside me, staring at I don't know what. He reached for my hand, his rough fingers gently caressing my knuckles.

_Yukina is my sister, _Hiei spoke across our under his shirt, he pulled out a tear gem identical to the ones Yukina had cried. It looked just like water in the light, and as I touched it gently I found it cool to the touch.

_I want to say that explains a lot, but it really doesn't. You're not all ice-y. _

Hiei actually made a sound that was almost a chuckle. _It's complicated._

_I gathered. _I let go of the tear gem, and Hiei tucked it under his shirt again. "That's quite a secret." I commented quietly.

"Hn. She doesn't know."

_Oh, I don't know about that. _I kept that thought to myself. Taking advantage of his giving mood, I pressed further. "Hiei – what was Koenma going to say about the Bloodstones?"

"You don't need to know." He grunted. This was his irritated grunt. Just trust me.

"I _want_ to know." I pressed again, poking him in the arm. I got an annoyed grunt in response. I left it at that, and went back to enjoying my sweet summer breezes and green filtered light.

It's interesting to note that Hiei was usually most forthcoming about details when I let go of my desire to get said answers. So when he replied, it was both a surprise and expected.

"Your heart." He muttered. "A Bloodstone heart would be the most valuable." He lifted my hand, and gently kissed my palm, my fingers just barely brushing his cheek. _Your heart is mine, _his mind whispered. In answer, my heartrate doubled, and my cheeks flushed. He smirked, and I realized he must be able to hear my heartbeat. Damn those demon senses.

I had to take my hand back to keep the heat of my blush from spreading any further. "Don't let anyone see you. They might call you soft."

"Soft is your job." He shot back.

"Screw you." I stuck out my tongue for extra effect.

"Mm. We'll see." And the blush was back.

I was allowed to enjoy the sunshine for a little while longer, before I felt Hiei tense slightly beside me.

"Stay here." He started to stand.

"I was thinking about running away to Tahiti." I sighed, smiling.

He paused, mid-stand. "Tahiti?"

Hiei needed a better sarcasm detector. "Forget it, _go._" I laughed at his confusion, and he scowled, and vanished.

It wasn't long before Yusuke's face appeared in my field of view.

"Are you alone out here?" In the same fashion that Hiei usually did, Yusuke's eyes did a quick sweep from one end of the grounds to the other. It only took a moment, and then he shot me a toothy grin.

"Just me and my invisible bodyguards." Yusuke laughed, and plopped down next to me on the blanket.

"Don't joke; those do exist in the Makai." He replied, stretching out for a moment in the sun.

"So what's up?" I couldn't think of a time that Yusuke had ever just 'dropped by', so there had to be a reason for his visit.

"You just have to ruin my one moment of relaxation, eh? I'm here to steal away short, dark, and angry."

"He's not short…" Was my quick reply.

"He used to be. Who knew demons had growth spurts?" Yusuke shrugged, sitting up again.

"What are you stealing him for?" I didn't think I was going to get an answer, but it never hurt to try.

Yusuke stood, stretching again, his arms as wide as a scarecrow. "That's need-to-know, sorry. Hey – congratulations." He switched the conversation around so quick my head almost spun in place.

"What? I didn't-" I was flustered, and Yusuke laughed.

"You look _happy_. I haven't seen you happy. And Hiei is… well… less angry." Yusuke smiled, and I had a rare moment to see what it was in his demeanor that inspired others to follow him. He stood with such casual confidence, but he was brimming with… _life. _For all of his off-color jokes and comments, he was keenly observant, and looked out for the well-being of the people around him.

"You awfully wise for such a jackass." Was the only comment I could think to follow.

"Well, I've got a lot of miles on me. Just… be careful." There was that streak of leadership again. Fiercely loyal, protective – every bit a leader. But he would never be the one to state it like that.

"Why?" I asked, sitting up on the blanket.

Yusuke made a few incoherent sounds, trying to collect his thoughts. "The rules are different for demons." It was probably one of the most unhelpful things both he and Kurama had a tendency to tell me. I had no idea what it was supposed to mean, but everyone felt it was important enough to say _over and over again._

Yusuke was already walking away, so I had to yell after him."So you've said – _what does that mean_?"

He didn't answer my question – no one ever did – but yelled back. "Genkai has new wards for the Temple and its grounds. You won't be going in or out until we get back, but you all will be safe."

"Bring everyone back in one piece!" I shouted as he disappeared around the corner.

"Always do!" Came his reply, his voice growing fainter.

"That's not what I've heard!" I yelled as a final word, and I could faintly hear a bark of laughter in reply.

And then I was alone. Hiei did not come to say goodbye, and I wasn't sure if that upset me or not.

* * *

I stood ankle-deep in what definitely looked like blood. It was slowly crystallizing around me, creeping up my legs in sharp spires. I could only walk forward slowly, crystals shattering like glass and reforming as soon as my foot splashed down again.

I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to keep moving forward.

My bloody clothes were mostly crystals, and those crunched and cracked as I walked.

There was a gentle rise ascending from the bloody swamp all around, and a dark figure stood atop it. It looked like Hiei.

I tried to walk faster, but the crystals were growing thicker and harder to break, and it was slowing my pace.

As I reached the gentle hill, and finally broke free from the crystals around my legs, I tried to call out for Hiei.

My heart stopped as a familiar translucent, blackened, red-hearted glass blade pierced through Hiei's back. He shuddered once, and crumpled.

Taisho stood in his place, holding a sword of Heart-seeker's Glass. He laughed, and the ground trembled.

And then I woke up.

I was drenched in a cold sweat, chest heaving and gasping for breath.

It took several long moments for me to fully convince myself it hadn't been real.

Hiei and the others had only been gone for less than 24 hours, they couldn't possibly have gotten themselves into that much danger that quickly, I tried to reason. But, knowing my own propensity for trouble, I knew it was quite possible indeed.

More than anything, I wanted to be able to knock on Hiei's door, and see his grouchy face. But I knew he wasn't there.

Instead, I slipped out of my sweat-soaked sheets, and padded quietly into the hallway. Closing my door quietly, I moved down the hall to Hiei's room, and buried myself in his modest bed, trying to will away the lingering memory of the scent of blood with pine and smoke.

Even knowing he couldn't hear me, I couldn't help but to call out into the void, trying to reach for Hiei's mind with my own.

_Hiei._

_Come home._

_Hiei._

* * *

God, this chapter went on forever. Total word count is just over 3,700 for this chapter. I just couldn't figure out a good place to end it, so it just kept going and going and going. Phew!

I'm due for some minor eye surgery in a few days, but I wanted to be sure I got you all this chapter before then.

Thank you again to everyone who reviewed, and left positive messages for me. It was incredibly touching, and really helped me to write!

Do what you can today, and then celebrate.

please please please review! It's the onLay way I know you like it!


	31. Chapter 31 - In His Eyes

A/N: There is a real challenge in writing about an action scene that your character never sees. How much do you describe through retelling of the scene? Do you describe the fight at all, or only observe the aftermath? From my point, I want you to know everything _I _know, because it sheds light on Aria's situation. Then again, telling you very little, because she _knows_ very little, makes the first-person story all that more believable. In war, civilians are told very little of what is really going on, and because of Aria's lack of ability to participate, there is so much that she just doesn't see.

So, my fellow civilians, bear with me as we return to the fight we have not seen, and speculate on our influence on the world.

* * *

I woke up unspeakably early in the morning, just before first light. Unsettlingly, though, there were flashes of light interrupting the darkness, like lightning without thunder. I slipped out of Hiei's futon, and quickly grabbed a sweater from my own room before heading outside.

Genkai was standing on the porch, arms clasped behind her back. Where I almost always saw her drinking tea, she was standing stiffly, staring intently into the darkness.

Almost on cue, before I could ask what she was staring at, there was another flash of light. From the porch, however, its source was revealed.

Around the edges of the forest, I could see little lights dancing in the trees. They were faint, like tea lights dangling on little pieces of string from waving tree branches. But, every so often, one of those lights would come a little closer, only to beat against some large, invisible surface. On impact, the little light would burst into a sudden inferno, and the invisible surface became a hot, blinding white wall – no, a dome. I could see a faint curvature on the surface, and with the multiple impacts a greater surface was revealed.

"It's almost dawn. They'll give up soon." Genkai sounded calm, but I could see the tension in her posture. I squinted against the bright flares of light, trying to get a better glimpse of form."What are they?"

Another flash of fiery light interrupted our conversation. "Demons. Trying to pierce the barrier around the temple." I looked out into the darkness, suddenly chilled at the sight of hundreds of little tea lights, floating seemingly harmlessly in the trees. "There are so many…"

Genkai and I looked out over the grounds in silence, grim in the face of silent lightning. Genkai didn't look at me, and she didn't need to say anything. I knew that I was the singular reason of the heightened demonic threat, the reason for the extra security. I knew that I was to blame for a lot of things.

I couldn't find the energy to get upset about it. It was just another injustice in a long series of events, and if I chose to get angry or sad I might never have been able to dig myself out of it again.

But at the end of the night, the sun still rose.

* * *

Even though many of my days at the Temple had usually been rather uneventful - dig a garden here, go for a walk there - _knowing_ that I couldn't leave of course made me unbelievably antsy. I wanted to go shopping, to get a coffee somewhere, to just sit in an open park and watch people walk by. _Anything_.

I puttered around the Temple aimlessly, wandering the hallways with my hands in my pockets. I tidied my sparse room. I made a cup of tea. I made Hiei's futon, erasing the evidence that I had slept there. I made another cup of tea. I reorganized the kitchen cabinets.

I went outside, and glared at the dirt was a crying shame that even with perfectly prepared rows, I wasn't able to go out and get either seeds or seedlings to put in said rows. Bah.

I managed to track down Genkai, who had been skillfully avoiding me for the better part of the morning. I cornered her in the kitchen as she was making tea. I could set a bear trap in there and save myself the trouble in the future.

"I need something to do." I declared, and she scowled at me.

"When did I ever express an interest that would lead you to continually pester me on this subject? Go watch paint dry for all I care."

I groaned dramatically. "I would _love_ to do that, only we have no freshly painted surfaces."

She grunted. "Floors need washing. They look a little dusty."

"Sounds like a plan!" I cried enthusiastically, and off I went.

I retrieved a bucket and a wide scrub brush from the closet that had once been my bedroom. Figures that Genkai would only own the traditional brush-n-bucket methods of cleaning floors, and not a swiffer wetjet or something.

But that was okay, I needed to be busy, and this would definitely take a long time.

It was good to be busy. I scrubbed slowly and carefully, taking the time to get any bit of dust out from between the boards in the floor.

It was soothing, and the faint lemon scent of the soap was delightfully familiar. I enjoyed being useful, and it occupied my mind. I was able to focus on finding every speck of dirt, and it kept me from thinking about demons, or the barrier, or any of the horrible possibilities that threatened to invade my mind.

Have you ever spent the better part of a day doing a chore that could have been done in a hour or two, either because you had another activity you were avoiding, or simply because you had nothing else waiting to do afterwards? It was almost... nice.

Scrub a dub dub, don't think about people trying to kill you. Scrub scrub scrub, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I ran out of floor before I ran out of energy and frustration. I slooooowly rinsed out the bucket, and slooooooooowly cleaned the brush. And then I ran out of things to do.

I dried my prune-y, tired hands, and wished that there had been more floors in the temple.

"Oh man," I muttered. "I stink." Somehow after working with soap for hours, I smelled to high heaven. I had never been the kind of lady who glistens instead of sweats. A shower was definitely in order.

I glanced out a window – the sun was starting to drop in the sky, and the hazy red sky seemed like a promise of a better tomorrow. But, of course, night meant more little demons trying to breach the temple barrier. _Ugh_.

But first, a shower.

* * *

More water and soap after an afternoon of soap and water seemed counterintuitive, but I've always liked the water. Typical of a firefighter, I suppose. I tried not to waste all of the hot water, but I desperately wanted to curl up in the bottom of the shower and just shrivel up like a raisin. Denial seemed like such a wonderful prospect.

But I turned off the water, dried myself off, checked my tattoos, and slipped into clean clothes. I fluffed my hair a little in the mirror, trying to help is dry faster. What was it about sleeping on wet hair that would invariably give you serious bed-head?

But that was about to be the least of my concerns.

"_Master Genkai! Aria! Come quick!" _Yukina was screaming from somewhere outside the temple. My blood ran cold. Had the demons pierced the protective barrier? I flew through the hall, bare feet slamming against the wood floors.

_Oh god, _I thought, _not Yukina. _

Genkai and I burst out onto the porch at almost the same moment - she was predictably a few steps ahead of me. Our eyes were wide, our heart rates high, and our nerves taut. Yukina stood in the courtyard, and thankfully there were no demons attacking her. The barrier was intact.

Without her needing to point, we saw instantly the cause of her alarm. Four familiar figures were at the top of Genkai's infinite stairs, just at the edge of the barrier. They were not standing strong. There was a lot of blood.

Genkai ripped a small piece of paper from a supporting beam of the porch, and crushed it under her foot. At that, the barrier pulsed, and faded.

My eyes grew impossibly wider. "That was _it? That _was holding the barrier together?" I yelled.

"This is _hardly_ the time." She snapped. Four - no - _three_ figures were limping their way across the courtyard. Yukina's glowing hands were already reaching for Kuwabara, and they illuminated the scene.

Yusuke was the only one who appeared to be able to hold up his own weight. He was supporting a heavily bleeding Kurama, and an equally heavily bleeding Kuwabara was carrying Hiei over one shoulder. No one was moving with any ease, but Hiei's complete lack of movement was killing me. Kuwabara looked like he didn't have use of one of his arms, and Kurama was limping heavily. Yusuke looked grim.

"_What happened?" _Genkai demanded. She was suddenly holding swaths of bandages - when had she run inside? Sometime in the one minute between crushing the barrier and her declaration, I supposed.

"Taisho is a fucking devious bastard, that's what happened." Yusuke snarled, easing Kurama to sit on the porch. Kuwabara lowered an unconscious Hiei, and I reached for him instantly.

"Hiei? _Hiei!?_" He wasn't answering my cries. I ran my hands over his still form, searching for any visible traumatic injury, any bleeding, anything. He definitely had the marks of a fight, but nothing that would have obviously incapacitated him.

"He's okay- just got all tired out, is all." Kuwabara groaned in pain, and sat down heavily on the porch.

I glanced at Kuwabara, before resuming my quick check on Hiei. He was intact enough to satisfy me. What concerned me, however, was the scorched skin on his right arm and hand; I didn't think the fire demon could burn like that. "Are you sure? How can you be sure?"

"Get over here!" Genkai yelled. Her tone was not angry, it was afraid. Very unwillingly, I left Hiei's side. Yukina could only focus on one person, and as Kuwabara was the only full human he was in more danger from the extreme blood loss. That left Genkai and I to try and hold Kurama somewhat stable in the meantime. Yusuke helped him to sit on the porch, before sinking down himself.

I couldn't tell what had cut him so severely, but something sharp had wrapped around his ankle and _pulled_, trying to take his entire leg off. He also had an odd assortment of back and abdominal wounds. Genkai was poking foul smelling green gunk into Kurama's wounds, and then she would holler for me to wrap it in gauze.

Kurama caught my gaze somehow, and I noticed that his usually clover green eyes were shimmering gold. "Genkai…?" The glittering in his eyes was a new observation for me. As was the glimmer of a sly smile that had appeared on Kurama's face, which was equally disturbing.

"Ignore it, he can't control it right now. Don't let it distract you." She barked, and I refocused on Kurama's ever-growing blood moat.

These people were no stranger to the sudden chaos that had descended on the temple porch. The irony of the bloodbath, now spilling out over the perfectly scrubbed wood panels and staining my freshly-scrubbed arms and hands, was not lost on me.

Kurama's bleeding did begin to slow, and soon he lost the golden glimmer in his eyes. Genkai gave his wounds a final once over, and let out a quick grunt of satisfaction. "You probably won't bleed out now."

I dipped my hands briefly in a bowl of water to rinse off at least a little Kurama's blood and that awful green gunk, and went to check on Yusuke. He was hunched over, head in hands. I touched his arm gently, and he didn't move. "Yusuke, are you alright?"

He had an odd collection of wounds. There was an assortment of burns, scratches, and there were thorns stuck under his skin. He looked up slowly, and fixed me with a haunted gaze.

I knew that look. I _knew_ it. I had seen it in the mirror countless times, back when I still believed I lived in two worlds, and for a long time after. The look said _make it stop, I don't know what's real_. I couldn't bring myself to ask him about it.

I had to check on Hiei again. I comforted my ringing nerves with the relaxed expression on his face. Kuwabara shot me a weak, comforting smile.

Genkai grumbled her standard grump. "Everyone had better get some sleep. We'll figure this nonsense out in the morning." No one was bleeding out all over the floors anymore, so of course that meant it was cool for everyone to go their separate ways, yup. No problem. We would just leave the bloody bandages and supplies out on the porch overnight, I guess. Yup, totall made sense.

"Need any help?" Kuwabara offered, well on his way to being my favorite person.

"Could you… I mean if you can…?" I wasn't sure how to ask.

"Yeah, I got him." Kuwabara lifted Hiei's sleeping form, and he didn't stir. Kuwabara was still much taller than Hiei, and I had to remind myself that even being the largest member of the group, Kuwabara had the least amount of energy. But his strength was enough to help me help Hiei, and I was grateful.

With Kuwabara's help, I got Hiei into his futon, and he never stirred a bit. I smoothed his bangs away from his face, and realized for the first time that the cloth covering his Jagan was gone.

"Kuwabara… What happened?" I asked softly. Kuwabara had been making a discreet exit, but paused at the door. He gripped the doorframe, hard. Had he been any of the other men in the house, it would have crumbled in his hand. I wondered if he ever thought about that.

"They got away." He muttered. "Look after Hiei. He's real grouchy when he wakes up."

And then I was alone with a sleeping demon. I glanced around the room, but I already knew there was almost nothing in there.

"I'll be right back." I whispered to Hiei, for absolutely no good reason. I ran back to my own room, bundled up my blankets and pillows, and quickly returned to Hiei's room. I didn't want him to be alone. Maybe it wouldn't make a difference to him, but if I was in his place I wouldn't want to be alone. I made myself a little bed of blankets and pillows next to Hiei's little futon.

I settled into my makeshift bed, trying to find a comfortable position on the floor. Floors aren't comfortable, for the record. I sighed, and wished I could harass Hiei for whatever he did that had knocked him out cold like this.

I stared at Hiei's form, trying to reassure myself that he was indeed breathing. I realized with near-jarring force that I was solely to blame for the mass of injuries sustained tonight. I was to blame for injuries that would never occurred if I had just stayed dead.

It was a hard realization for me.

If something went wrong, and I was indeed captured by the demon Taisho, he would most certainly kill me. And that would be the end of my chapter. The world would continue turning, and the seasons would change, and eventually everyone would forget about me. There was no catastrophic plan in place, as far as I knew. There was no plot to destroy the world, or murder a thousand people. Just me.

It was hard to accept that some truly wonderful people were putting their lives on the line for me. They were searching for answers for me. They were protecting me. And for what? I couldn't offer any great value or skill that the group didn't already possess. I took up space, and time, and resources. I was a liability.

It hurt to admit it.

It would be kinder to take a long walk in the dark, and wait for Taisho to find me. It would ensure Yukina's safety. It would prevent further bloodshed, save for my own.

_So why don't you go? _My self-deprecating mind whispered to me.

Because I was scared.

Isn't fear what drives most of our decisions in life? I'm alive, so as a basic instinct we seek to survive. Even for the greater good, I couldn't really imagine taking the first steps towards my doom.

But it killed me to see them bleed because of me.

If it wasn't for me, Taisho likely would never have come up on their radar. He was a relatively harmless demon, unable to make great attacks. He and his little minion, Mishka, could toy with your perceptions, and hunt down helpless human women. No great threat there.

But for my odd resurrection, life would have drifted blissfully along, letting me rot in my watery grave in California. It certainly made clear why Koenma and Kurama seemed to dislike me so much - I was an unnecessary complication.

My feelings caught in my throat, threatening to choke me. Everyone was staying at the temple, so it was not for me to weep while around those who might sense it. My growing grief was my own. While, before, I would have called my loss of America the greatest of my life, this helplessness was a heavier burden to bear.

I wished they would stop, but I couldn't summon the courage to ask. I was too selfish. I wanted to live. I had decided to be happy; to live this life, and to allow myself to try to love another man, and to be grateful for this wonderful gift... so why couldn't I just be happy?

Because, somehow, that was too selfish, too. I couldn't skip happily along while Hiei burned away his flesh for me. While Yusuke's free will was stolen. While Kurama and Kuwabara were broken and bleeding. While Yukina wept.

It just wasn't fair.

I didn't have the courage to go on, and I didn't have the strength to make it stop.

God help me.

* * *

A/N: I do apologize for not posting in a little while. I have been recovering from LASIK surgery (doing great!) and on a whim decided to launch an IndieGoGo campaign. If you're interested in the campaign, you can read about it on /at/choosemyadventure

Please review!


	32. Chapter 32 - The Plan-and Ch1-31 Summary

Hi Readers!

Thank you for your patience, as always.

Because I know several people have noted that they've forgotten completely about a character (my fault, because chapters take so long), I wanted to take this first part of the chapter to give you a brief recap of the story as it stands so far! If you just started reading the story and are all caught up, please skip to the double lines below.

THE STORY SO FAR:

(Ch 1) Aria is a firefighter living in the United States. We are introduced to the details of her death as she describes them to her therapist – she was fighting a wildfire in California, and gave her fire shelter to a fellow firefighter, choosing to find refuge in a river. She unfortunately drowns in said river, but wakes up in a park in Japan. (Ch 2) Confused, Aria meets Kuwabara, and while the two do not speak the same language, he summons Yusuke and Kurama, who does speak English. She tells him she believes she is dead. She demands a phone so she can call her fiancé, but they refuse. Hiei appears to knock her out, but she surprisingly avoids his attempt, but he knocks her out on the second try.

(Ch 3) Aria awakes in a small room, and Kurama enters to question her. He reveals that she smells like a Demon, which she doesn't believe. Aria goes to sleep, but as soon as she falls asleep she awakens in a hospital room in America. She is told that she was rescued from the river, and has been unconscious for a while. (Ch 4) Aria awakes in her tiny room in Japan. While taking a shower, she realizes that all of her tattoos and scars are gone. (Ch 5) In the American hospital, Aria's doctors recommend a therapist named Dr. Allen. Aria's fiancé, John, takes her home from the hospital – they fly from California to their apartment in North Carolina.

(Ch 6) Aria meets the entire group, and Koenma, who reveals a file on her entire life, which does not explain how she came to be in Japan, as well as evidence that she did indeed die in California. He also notes a negligible amount of spirit energy, but that she also carries an aura from Demon World. (Ch 7) Hiei goes through Aria's memories, and confirms that she should be dead, and that she is human. She is confined to the Temple. Aria enjoys a conversation with Yusuke and Kuwabara.

(Ch 8) At home, Aria makes a few observations that objects and walls in her apartment are not quite as she remembers them. She goes to her first meeting with the therapist Dr. Allen. (Ch 9) Aria meets the girls, who have brought her clothes to borrow, as she has nothing extra. Keiko sees Aria's tiny room and argues with Yusuke until he yields, and leads her to a larger, less closet-like room. In America, she takes a nap in the middle of the afternoon, and wakes up in Japan in the middle of the night. Unable to go back to sleep, she feels as though someone is watching her.

(Ch 10) In Japan, while on a walk in the temple forest Aria manages to kill a small demon that tries to attack her by swinging a stick at it. Hiei appears, and while he initially shows disdain for Aria she surprises him by asking for a second chance at getting to know him. He leads her most of the way out of the forest. Genkai tells Aria that she will be training her. In America, Aria goes back to work. She is at her desk when she feels the sensation of someone watching her, but before she can look out the window she passes out, waking up violently in Japan as Genkai has thrown an ice-cold bucket of water on her to wake her up for training. (Ch 11) Aria and Genkai train. Genkai breaks Aria's arm, which Yukina quickly heals. Hiei asks Aria why she asked him for a second chance. In America, Aria chooses to call Dr. Allen and discuss her 'dreams' of Japan. (Ch 12) Aria and Genkai train. Aria shows Hiei she doesn't give up when she is thrown into a ravine and told to get out on her own. Aria realizes that a puzzle she is assembling in America was lost several years ago, and shouldn't exist. After a session with Dr. Allen, Aria returns home, and while pondering whether her apartment door is supposed to be green or blue (it's green), it flashes blue for just a moment.

(Ch 13) Aria and Genkai train. Genkai declares that Aria is useless, and training ends. In America, Dr. Allen's choice of words seems like he knows about Japan. In Japan, Aria shows Hiei a few of her martial arts moves. (Ch 14) A few days pass. In Japan, Yusuke tells Aria that since Genkai has declared her harmless, she won't be confined to the temple. Aria eavesdrops on a conversation between the group and Koenma, and sees something that terrifies her. Aria reveals to Hiei that she dreams every night she's in America.

(Ch 15) In America, Aria meets a woman with white hair and pale eyes named Mishka. Aria thinks about what she saw that scared her – Dr. Allen is a demon. Hiei appears at her apartment door, and when he strikes at John, he vanishes into smoke. The dream-world America shatters completely. (Ch 16) Kurama and Yusuke interrogate Aria about America. Hiei reads her memories. (Ch 17) Aria starts digging a garden. Kuwabara takes Aria to the demon world where they have followed a lead – a demon calling himself the Architect. The Architect tells them that Taisho (The demon Dr. Allen), commissioned him to create a copy of Aria's body, and sewed Aria's soul into the copy once she died in America. He claims that it was done for money, and power, but doesn't say how.

(Ch 18) Hiei follows Aria when she runs from the cave, protecting her from the toxic air of demon world with his aura. He makes her angry, and she goes back inside the cave to confront the Architect. He throws her a small vial of clear liquid, which Hiei intercepts. Back at the temple, Aria realizes that Hiei made her angry to help her overcome her fear. Aria also realizes she may have feelings for Hiei, but that makes her feel ashamed. (Ch 19) Aria and Keiko go shopping. Aria gets a tattoo on her arm. They are accosted by a man demanding money while having coffee, and Aria easily incapacitates him when it turns violent. Hiei checks on Aria.

(Ch 20) Aria works in her garden. At night, Aria talks with Hiei about the Jagan eye. She gives it a "kiss goodnight", and while Hiei states that the Jagan eye's power inspires fear in countless demons, Aria says she isn't afraid of him – that he wouldn't hurt her. Hiei proves her wrong, and burns her arm severely. (Ch 21) Kurama gives Aria a way to leave the temple, but she can never contact the people there again.

(Ch 22) Two months later, Aria (new name Jessica smith), is having coffee with her new friend Eiko. Eiko takes Aria to a club, where she meets Arata and Kichirou. Aria takes care of a new tattoo on her chest. She misses the Temple. (Ch 23) Eiko tries to set up Aria and Kichirou, but he reveals that he's gay. They choose to maintain a fake relationship to keep Eiko from bothering them. Aria runs into a burning building to save a child. (Ch 24) Aria manages to save a young boy – Shou – from a burning apartment building. The fire burns her shoulder, and most of her hair. A few days later, Hiei appears at her door.

(Ch 25) Hiei explains that her exile was to keep her safe. Kichirou comes to Aria's apartment, but leaves abruptly when Hiei appears intentionally near-naked in Aria's bedroom doorway. Hiei's unintentionally grabs Aria's burn from the apartment fire. Hiei's purpose for coming to retrieve Aria is that he found a way to fix her. (Ch 26) In the Spirit World, Koenma uses a Heart-seeker's Glass blade to 'cut out' Taisho's demonic energy. Hiei uses his Jagan eye to spare her from the agony, and they spend some awkward time together in her head. Taisho's yellow energy is contained in a jar. Back at the Temple, an exhausted Aria picks the wrong bedroom door, and finds herself in Hiei's room. Curious, she sees the glass vial from the Architect, and opens it, accidentally pricking herself on a hidden edge. Her blood crystallizes in the liquid. A rare spiritual trait, Aria's blood turns into a priceless Bloodstone when combined with a Makai toxin.

(Ch 27/poem) Alone, Aria ruminates on her situation. She decides that she wants to be happy here, and wants to give her situation with Hiei a chance to bloom. She is nearly captured by a demon, and throws herself off a cliff to avoid capture. (Ch 28) Hiei catches Aria, and Kurama incapacitates the demon, and interrogates him. The demon – Ghee – was sent to capture her, as Taisho lost track of her when his energy was removed. Aria is confined to the temple again for her safetly. Aria kisses Hiei.

(Ch 29) Aria and Hiei have an awkward conversation, that goes unresolved as Yukina accidentally interrupts. Aria goes back to her apartment to gather a few things, and is roped into going to a club by her friends. As the club has no windows, Hiei is forced to make an appearance, rather than watching over her from a distance.

(Ch 30) Koenma more thoroughly examines Aria's Bloodstone crystallization. Hiei and Aria talk about secrets. The four go to demon world to follow Taisho, leaving Aria at the temple. Aria has a nightmare. (Ch 31) The boys return from their mission, having seemingly gone awry. Hiei is unconscious, and Kuwabara and Kurama are severly injured. Yusuke has injuries that suggest the others were forced to defend themselves against him. Aria realizes the violence is entirely her fault, but she can't make it stop without surrendering her life to Taisho.

…

And now, The Plan...

* * *

I awoke when the bedroom door quietly clicked shut. It was still a little dark in the room, and it took me a few moments to remember where I was. I was still curled up in my nest on Hiei's floor, but his futon was empty.

I sat up slowly, fluffing my short hair, then trying to smooth out the remaining bedhead. I had a lingering crick in my neck.

I couldn't explain why I had no feelings about waking up alone. It should have bothered me that Hiei didn't wake me up, or tell me that he was okay, or kick me with a foot and tell me to stop sleeping on his floor. Nothing. It didn't bother me. I had no feelings about it.

I didn't bother straightening my nest, I just stood and exited the bedroom. I changed out of yesterday's clothes – I hadn't bothered putting on pajamas the night before – into fresh clothes.

Heading towards the kitchen, I heard the muffled murmurs of quiet speech. There was a small conversation going on in the common room. Without bothering to knock or announce myself, I crashed the party.

As the door opened, it was immediately obvious that they had been talking about me, as the conversation instantly ceased. Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara sat around the low table, and Hiei was leaning against a wall, looking indifferent. Kurama looked better, although he still had a few bandaged spots, and Kuwabara's injuries had healed completely with Yukina's help.

"Hey kids, watching Saturday morning cartoons?" The joke came out a little drier than I had intended, but Yusuke still shot me a grin. He knew I knew.

"Hi, Aria." He offered. "Grab a seat."

I did so with no great haste. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

"What?"

It was hard to find the right words. "Why are you still trying to help me?" My affect was flat, but I had used up a lot of my emotions in my little pity-party the previous night.

Yusuke crossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow. "Should we have let you die?"

I shrugged. "The world won't end if I die. If I just… let it happen… then all of this will stop, and no more people will get hurt."

The room was very quiet. I was surprised at the strength of my sigh that followed. "I don't understand why all of you are going through so much for someone you barely know."

He shrugged, and flashed a cheeky smile. "I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

It was such a blasé and perfectly _Yusuke_kind of response. "You can't possibly mean that."

"Believe me – he can." Kurama finally interjected, a little bit of a laugh in his voice.

Yusuke leaned forward on the table, and gave me a crazy grin that instantly made me suspicious."How would you feel about being bait?"

Kurama chuckled at the openly perplexed look at my face. "Yusuke believes that if we can lure Taisho into attacking in the Makai, we will have a better chance of catching him the second time. But we need a compelling reason for you to be there, or he'll be suspicious."

"And you busted in before we could think of one." Kuwabara grumbled. His disappointment made me laugh.

"That part's easy." I said casually, and they looked at me like I had three heads. "What? It is!"

"Do explain, please." Kurama asked politely.

I tried to think of a logical explanation for what I was thinking. "Well, from what I know about the Makai, it's a little… wild. Yes?" There was a round of nodding affirmation. "I'm also going to assume that the Makai has a very wide range of botanical wildlife that is rarely managed and maintained, yes?"

Kurama nodded. "Aside from the few plant masters, Makai plants are poorly understood. And no one seeks to maintain them, you are correct."

I nodded, my brain starting to lock the gears of my own little plan into place."Well, this would lead me to presume that the Makai probably has some unbelievably uncontrollable wildfires; thousands of acres, and a lot of demons whining about how much property they lost, or dead family."

An impatient Hiei growled from his position against the wall. "I fail to see how this would make your presence in the Makai logical."

I resisted the urge to snarl back, and instead replied calmly. "The Three Kingdoms could use a Forest Management Plan."

"… what's that?" Kuwabara asked.

It probably wasn't to anyone's great benefit that I loved talking about trees, but I began my slow torture of the boys. "Government organizations bring in forest and fire experts about the best methods to preserve forest health and minimize potential fire damage and loss of life." On a roll, I launched into a history lesson.

"Following a series of forest fires in 1910 that burned 3 million acres in only two days, the United States enacted a plan of complete fire suppression, there were no new giant sequoia saplings. It took until the 1960s for the Forest Service to prove that the complete fire suppression would only lead to larger fires, as the fuels would build and build until there were larger, stronger fires. They showed that routine, smaller fires were necessary in the life cycles of giant sequoia, as well as maintaining the health of existing trees. These large uncontrollable fires would raze entire forests, but small, routine fires would get rid of fuels before they had a chance to build up, as well as burn out invasive plants and weak or sick plants."

"The Makai is very different from the human world-" Kurama started, but I interrupted.

"You say that_ all_ the time, but trust me – even if demons are hardier than humans, there's no denying that a three thousand acre wildfire causes serious damage and loss of life. In 2012, a _single wildfire_ in California caused almost $30 million in property damage. It was about 2,600 acres in size, and that's not even considered a large wildfire. A similar one in the Makai would cause at least a headache's worth of complaints from the locals. I would visit the Three Kingdoms and do a survey of the status of the plant life, forests, blah blah blah, and present the Three Lords with a plan to both increase the health of their forests, and minimize property damage from wildfires."

"And you know how to do that?" Yusuke asked.

"Yup." I grinned.

Kurama and Yusuke showed a knowing look. "What?"

Yusuke's smirk widened. "You're going to have one hell of a time convincing the Demon Lords to listen to you."

His smirk kind of bothered me. He was definitely goading me on for some reason. "If the U.S. had continued with the plan of complete fire suppression, at some point the entire country would have burned to the ground. Fire is necessary in the healthy life of a forest." I couldn't help it, I glanced at Hiei, but his eyes were closed and I couldn't read his expression.

I continued, "It's ignorant to avoid it completely just because it might frighten us." I crossed my arms, and fixed him with a fierce look. I had a tendency to get a little defensive about my profession, in part because – as a woman – I tended to get a lot of questions along the vein of 'you're a firefighter? _Really?'. _It kinda sucks.

Kurama chuckled, and Yusuke laughed outright. "What's so funny?" I asked sharply.

Kurama covered his smile with a hand. "You managed to make a cover story into something that may actually benefit hundreds of thousands of lives, and leave the Three Lords – as well as the Demon World King – in your debt."

I returned the comment with a bemused smile. "So… when do we leave?"

* * *

We got ready in one hell of a hurry.

It seemed like my cooperation was mostly optional, as everyone else was fully prepared to leave - packed and everything. They were gracious enough to let me eat breakfast and take an hour to pack and say goodbye to Yukina and Genkai, and call my friends about my impending absence while they arranged for a portal to the Makai. Gee, how generous.

I shoved clothes into a duffel based almost solely on what I thought would take the greatest abuse. I also had the complicating factor of needing to pack for multiple climate types, and other possibilities. It's for that reason that both a flannel shirt and my blue-gold sequin gown went into the duffel. After that went the basics – toothbrush, socks, hairbrush…

I zipped the bag shut, and had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. It felt like leaving for California again.

Kurama rapped gently on my open bedroom door. "All done?"

I ran through a quick mental list, which included my current change of clothes – jeans, work boots, t-shirt – and nodded. "I think so." I hefted the bag's strap up onto my shoulder, and followed Kurama down the hall.

"How long do you expect these surveys to take?" He asked, opening the common room door for me.

I closed it behind me. "Well, in California they can take… a long time to make. I have to balance the hardy nature of demons with the possible unexpected properties of Makai plants." Kurama looked a little concerned about that time length, but I quickly added, "_But_, with a plant master, I won't need the extended observation periods that human scientists require. Following sampling, you will be able to 'encourage' the new growth. And, with a fire 'specialist', it won't take more than a few minutes to have a controlled fire."

Kurama nodded. "So, probably a week in each Kingdom?"

"Sounds about right, yeah."

The usual horror-show of a portal was waiting in the courtyard. Kuwabara was waiting for us, but Yusuke and Hiei were nowhere to be seen. "They went ahead to scout around before your arrival." Kurama offered when he noticed me looking around.

"Where are we starting?" I asked as we approached.

"For the sake of safety, Tourin. There isn't much woodland, but it will allow us some breathing room." Kurama replied.

"And who is the Lord of Tourin?" I asked, and Kurama smiled. "Yusuke, actually."

I stopped cold in my tracks. "Surely you must be joking." Kuwabara laughed out loud at my shocked expression.

"It's true – he doesn't act like it, does he?" Kuwabara chimed in. "Ready?" I nodded, and Kuwabara jumped into the portal. Kurama stood beside it, waiting for me.

I turned to look at the Temple. It felt like a significant moment, but I couldn't put my finger on why. In the sudden chaos of picking up and leaving I had developed a creeping feeling of unease. But, again, I couldn't put my finger on why. I took a long look at the Temple, and saw Yukina's green hair flash in a window. There was a sharp chirp of birdsong, and the faint smell of distant wildflowers.

"Aria?" Kurama called, and I glanced back.

"Yup – sorry. Let's go."

I left it behind, and jumped into the portal.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry about the long ( long) delay, but it took me a long time to figure out everything in this chapter. Now that I've got that basic part worked out, they shouldn't take a month (again, sorry). Please review, it's what makes my life worth living!


	33. Chapter 33 - Progress

Hi Readers! I should just stop promising to have chapters out with any expedience. I actually had to put a picture of Hiei on my desktop, staring at me to get this chapter done. I also rewrote large sections several times, which doesn't help.

Lots of relationship-y stuff in this chapter.

Carry on!

* * *

The surveys of Tourin's strange deserts, rocky outcroppings, and few forested patches were going quite well. Hokushin and the monks were both attentive and helpful during my exploration of the region – and apparently not at Yusuke's insitance. They seemed genuinely curious about what I was doing, although they could get a little too enthusiastic sometimes. I had asked the monks to bring me a small sample of any plant with properties relevant to fire, and I realized when they returned I really should have been more specific. Have you ever told a small child to go find you something fun to play with in the yard, and they come back with eighteen pine cones, seven four-leaf-clovers, a trowel, nine leaves, three sticks, and a fork? This was like that.

I had been seated at my makeshift desk in my little room, Hokushin peering over my shoulder, when three monks burst into my room, carrying piles of sticks and leaves piled high above their heads. All three speaking at the same time, they started rattling off medicinal burn properties of this, burning oil of that, and I just burst out laughing. It took me at least an hour to sort through with them what was relevant and what wasn't, and then another two to fully record the relevant properties.

But I was not a happy camper. In the four days I had already been in Tourin, I had seen Hiei maybe four times for about ten minutes. He would appear briefly at mealtimes, glare once into the room, and promptly vanish again. I swear he wouldn't even look at me. Something was up with my fire demon, and damn if I was going to let him ignore me much longer.

* * *

I was moving through the underbrush, scribbling notes, while Hokushin followed a respectable distance behind me. It was probably my one gripe about being in demon world – I couldn't go anywhere alone. My pathetic Spirit Energy – while fully capable of forming Bloodstones – was not strong enough to protect me from the toxic air of the Makai. As such, I needed an escort at all times. Sure, they could be as far as 20 feet away, but they were always there. Where? Right there. When? _All the time._

It got old.

It was probably safest that way anyway, as some demons still occasionally disobeyed the "no eating humans" rule of King Enki.

"Hokushin," I started. "would you go find Hiei and ask how much blood a human can lose before they die?"

"A little more than two liters, Lady Aria."

I sighed. "Yes, I know. But would you go ask Hiei, please? And don't tell him I told you to ask." I waggled a finger at him.

"Will you be alright for a minute alone?" He was referring to the air.

I waved him away with a smile. "One minute won't kill me." The monk gave me a nervous sort of smile, and ran into the underbrush. I scrunched up my nose, preparing myself for the sudden scent of rotting flesh and a slightly light-headed feeling.

I really would have loved to do a partner study with an air-quality expert. I wondered what sort of chemicals must be in the air to affect humans like it did, and the best answer anyone in demon world could give me was "it's toxic." Terribly helpful. I also wondered if a simple gas mask would protect me from the air, or if it was something that could cling to my skin and poison me that way.

I longed for research.

Hiei couldn't have been far. He appeared without warning or a sound, wide-eyed and sword drawn, and with his presence the rotting scent of the Makai was banished. His sharp eyes took in the empty clearing and the obviously not-dying human girl in a half-second, and his demeanor went from worry to anger.

He growled. "You tricked me."

"And you're avoiding me. So we're even."

Even while I could see that his fury was boiling just beneath the surface of his skin, I couldn't help but to take a moment to admire the man I had barely seen. Seeing him in the Makai made me almost weep for the limitations of his position in the Human World. Here in Tourin, Hiei ran around without his white headband, Jagan always open and searching. He stood a little taller, and absolutely commanded respect from all the demons who scurried out of his path. I was starting to understand why he didn't much like the Human World.

"Why are you avoiding me?" I asked, before he had the chance to disappear.

"I don't want you here." He spat out. It hurt. I frowned, and forced myself to remember that seemed to be Hiei's way of masking feelings.

I turned instead to humor. "This spot in particular, or Demon World in general?" I moved from the spot as if it offended Hiei, conveniently moving closer to the angry demon.

Hiei did not appreciate my humor. "This isn't a game." He did sheathe his sword, which was progress.

I moved a little closer. "I'm not saying it is – I'm saying you're too worried. I think you probably haven't spent any time with me because you're too busy scouting around Tourin every hour of every day." I sighed. "When was the last time you slept?"

Hiei crossed his arms and grunted. "That's none of your concern." _Ah hah!_ I thought – right on the nose.

"Are you being purposefully obnoxious, or is this your natural state?" His dismissive tone didn't bother me, I was too familiar with the meaning that it obscured.

"You really shouldn't worry so much – I'm sure you wish this wasn't necessary, but all of this worrying is making _both_ of us miserable, don't you think."

"Don't presume to know what I think, onna."

"But am I wrong?" I closed the final lingering space between us, and reached out slowly for his bare arm, as if he were a skittish animal that might bolt. "It's just you and me. Tell me the truth."

I had just barely touched his too-warm skin when he caught my hand. His thumb ran gently once across my knuckles, and he looked at me almost … wearily.

"…Hokushin has returned. He will see you through the day." He let go of my hand, and flickered away. True to promise, he scent of the Makai did not flood my senses, so Hokushin could be no more than twenty feet away.

"Lady Aria?" True enough, Hokushin broke from the underbrush.

I took a calming breath, and turned to smile at the concerned monk. "Let's finish up, Hokushin. Only a few hours left, I think."

* * *

Later that evening, I was hunched over my desk, scribbling notes onto a map of Tourin and muttering under my breath to myself. Hokushin was standing guard in the hallway, nineteen feet away. It gave me a little more privacy, and he didn't have to constantly wonder if I was talking to him or myself.

I found it hard to focus on my work, as my mind kept drifting back to a pair of red eyes in my mind. Hiei's distance concerned me. To be fair, he wasn't terribly expressive about emotions and feelings and all those gushy _human_ traits, but I would have said I was pretty good at reading the fire demon before today. He had seemed content to kiss me, even though that had only been four times.

I would say that he did things he didn't like in order to watch out for me, and even Yusuke had commented that he seemed a little less angry than the rest of the group was accustomed to.

But in the Makai, Hiei was more free, and more strong. Did I need to expect something different in terms of affection as well while we were in the Makai? Did my status somehow fall from 'acceptably annoying attractive onna' to 'overly obnoxious human bitch' without warning once we crossed between the worlds?

A little warning sure would have been nice.

I had thought a number of times about trying to send him a thought; that I was worried, about us, about him, about… lots of things. I didn't, though.

I sighed, and tried to go back to muttering and scribbling notes.

The door to my room creaked open almost silently. There was a small nick in one of the hinges, and it always popped dramatically when half-open. I assumed it was Hokushin, so I didn't bother to look up.

To my surprise, a familiar growl came from the darkness instead. I almost split the nib on my pen when he spoke, "The air here is toxic, and Taisho is hunting you."

I turned at my desk, seeking out his almost hidden form. The glowing eyes helped. I had to place my hand on my chest to still the sudden adrenaline thrill coursing through my veins.

"And the air in Beijing is toxic to the Chinese; what's your point?" I stretched as I stood up from my desk chair. "I wouldn't necessarily be _any safer_ in the Human World. The number of humans who die every year from being hit in the head with a coconut, stung by a bee, or having a _vending machine fall on them_ would shock you."

Hiei hadn't taken a step closer, and with his face obscured by shadows it was impossible to read his face. I kept talking as I walked closer, again treating him like some skittish creature. _"_I refuse to live my life worried about what _might_ happen to me. Have you forgotten that I've already died once? Sure, I'm not eager to just walk into Taisho's hands and slit my wrists, but I'm not going to hide in a corner because he might be waiting behind that bush."

If Hiei's glowing eyes hadn't been guiding me, I might have bumped into him in the darkness. I grabbed his arm exactly as I had done earlier in the day, but this time he didn't brush my hand away. "I really like you, Hiei, and I don't like seeing you so stressed out. So spend some time with me, and let Hokushin and the rest of the monks do the scouting and reconnaissance."

I could sort of feel Hiei relax just a hair, as some of the stressed tension seemed to leave his muscles. It was almost imperceptible, but I was paying attention. I slid my hand from his arm to loop it around his waist in a half-hug. I pressed myself against his chest, and nuzzled his neck a little.

"In terms of dating a human you 've got an easy job, darlin' – just ask Yusuke. I don't have a family you need to impress, or friends who need to approve of you. We won't need to argue about taxes, or our jobs, or which dinner party we don't want to go. This thing between you and me just comes down to whether I like you, and whether you like me, and whether we want to keep being together. That's it."

He wasn't returning my hug, but he wasn't moving away. He hadn't said anything since he first came into the room, and I tried to push for a response. "And… I like you. Do you like me?"

I held my breath, and he didn't answer, and I had to press again. "That's kind of an important question for me right now." I muttered, a little embarrassed.

I waited, and after a painful silence I felt him truly relax, and arms wrapped around me. "More than I would care to admit."

I giggled a little, worry releasing my heart. "Well I won't argue with that."

One of Hiei's hands was running through my hair, and I didn't know if it was for my benefit or his. "You are more stubborn than any other woman I have ever tolerated."

"It's because you're addicted to me." I joked. I moved to end the embrace – hey, a large pile of work was waiting for me – but Hiei's arms held me fast.

"And what if I am?" he purred in a low voice that sent a thrill straight through me

I blushed. "I would say you should stop being so stand-offish and jerk-like." I poked his chest sharply, but only succeeded in hurting my finger. "I don't' like being ignored. I don't expect you to be all gushy, but don't go waffling back and forth, okay? It's weird and I never know what to do."

I got a chuckle in return. "And what would you say if I wanted nothing more than to lock you away and never let another person lay eyes on you?" It was such an out of the ordinary response for Hiei that I was strapped for an answer. It didn't help that I was filled with a sudden heat from the passion in his voice.

"I – I would say that I'm not a lizard?" _Lizard? Why did I choose lizard? I should have said bird! Bird, cage, yeah!_

That made him laugh, and I knew instantly he must have read my though process and figured out my odd reasoning. I pouted. "Don't laugh at me, you tripped me up."

A chuckling Hiei walked me back over to my desk, in the light, and sat me back down at the large pile of waiting research.

"Work, onna." He kissed the top of my head quickly. Before I could ask, he reassured me. "I will stay here."

In the light, I was able to see the amusement dancing across Hiei's face. He looked less stressed, and I felt a little of my own tension drain away. I went back to my work. Hiei dragged a chair over next to the door, propped his sword against his shoulder and resting next to his knee.

Together again.

* * *

Why did I have to choose a cover story that involved so much work on my part? I felt like I had no time to relax at all – at every meal I would have a plant sample in one hand, and a scroll or reference book propped against a water pitcher while I shoved breakfast into my mouth. I usually fell asleep reading one, too. Considering I never woke up with one plastered to my face, I imagine that Hiei extricated me from the pile each night, and set them back on my desk. He insists that I do it myself, but I'm not nearly that organized.

It was certainly more pleasant having Hiei around as my guardian than any of the monks. I wished that I had the energy at the end of the day to do more than just give Hiei a quick kiss goodnight, but as I said I typically just fell asleep in my paperwork.

But the last day did finally come.

I leaned back in my chair, stretching. I glanced out the window, and confirmed my rough estimate that evening was approaching. I shuffled the papers together into a neat stack, and bound it together with cord.

Hiei, who was occupying the chair by the door, sword resting against his chest, opened his eyes. He didn't need to speak for me to see the question in his eyes.

I answered he unspoken question. "It's done – let's go eat."

* * *

Yusuke eyed the dictionary-thick stack of papers like it might bite him. Even at his impressively large banquet table, the stack was somewhat in scale.

"You wanted thorough, I gave you thorough." I spoke around dinner, shoveling it into my mouth at an un-ladylike rate. I was hungry! It was something resembling a stew, and while I wasn't about to ask what the ingredients were, it was quite delicious.

"Well… it definitely looks thorough." Yusuke mumbled, and quickly foisted the large tome off onto a monk, who almost dropped it. Kurama chuckled, and Kuwabara laughed openly. He hurried out of the room, and Yusuke seemed to perk up a bit.

"One down, two to go!" He grabbed his own bowl of stew, and dug in.

"Where _are_ we going next?" I asked, suddenly actually curious.

Yusuke made a face. "It really doesn't look good either place we go."

"Oh?" I asked between bites.

"Both Lords are … less than welcoming, shall we say." Kurama explained. "Strangest of all, Lord Yomi has issued a formal invitation for you to assess his lands." I turned that over in my head, drumming my fingers on the table.

"That is odd." I mumbled. It felt like there should have been some obvious answer, but I was just too tired to put my finger on it.

Kurama was ahead of me, of course. "I believe that Lord Yomi has an agenda of his own, though I can't be certain yet what that may be."

"And Lord Mukuro?" I asked, bringing the count of Lords to three.

"Oh, Hiei's ex-girlfriend?" Yusuke chirped? "Nothing yet, but that's more normal."

_Excuse me?_ I thought, and I could feel Hiei's heat spike next to me as he glared daggers at Yusuke. _Somebody's got some 'splainin to do._

Yusuke laughed nervously at Hiei's glare, and quickly redirected. "What do _you _want to do? Your guess is as good as any." It felt odd, but good, to be so included in the decision.

As unpleasant as my conclusion was, it made sense in my head. "As suspicious as it is, I think we should follow the invitation from Yomi. If we ignore his hospitality now we might not get another chance."

Kurama stood soon after and excused himself to make the arrangements. Wihout our logical anchor, the conversation soon devolved into Yusuke and Kuwabara complaining about what a pain-in-the-butt brainiac I had been for the last week and a half, and my throwing various objects from the table at the both of them.

Long after the sun went down, we all retired to our separate corners of Yusuke's "palace" (He didn't like it when we called it a palace, so of course we did it all the time). Hiei followed me down the winding halls back to my room.

And it was just us again.

* * *

I cleared my throat nervously as the door clicked shut behind us. I sort of hadn't thought this through very well.

"So…" I croaked out. "Read any good books lately?" It was terrible, I was trying to make small talk. Thankfully, Hiei mercifully smothered it with a strong step forward to close the space between us, and kissed me without a word.

He kissed me fiercely, and I could feel the barely-constrained desire, accumulated over days while I focused solely on the report for Yusuke and Tourin. Sharp teeth nipped at my lips, demanding they part. I obliged with a sigh, and we battled tongues. Hot hands reached under my sweater to splay against my skin.

I tugged at his shirt, needing to feel more of his radiantly hot skin against mine, and his shirt was frustratingly in my way. He seemed to feel the same, as my sweater was pulled swiftly over my head, and tossed onto the floor. Under my sweater was a low-scoop tank top that showed off my chest tattoo. Hiei actually stopped to take it in. He hunched briefly, kissing each magnolia blossom reverently.

"It suits you."

"Th-thank you."

Those hot eyes turned back to mine, and a wave of _want_ washed over me. It wasn't right that he could have so much power over me, but I didn't want to stop, either.

Away went my tank top, and I finally wrestled Hiei out of his own shirt. His muscles were as amazing as I remembered. Last time, I had been filled with fury – he had appeared at the door of my apartment and upended my life for the second time in my memory, and embarrassed poor Kichirou – but this time, I was able to run my hands over flesh I was claiming as _mine_.

His muscles twitched under my hands as they danced over his body. I smiled, _ticklish?_ I asked in my mind.

_Nonsense. _He replied.

I smirked, and danced my fingers over his ribs, and got a short bark of laughter in reply. He caught my hands quickly to end the onslaught.

_You'll pay for that._ He warned.

_Oh?_ I smirked in reply. We had so easily slipped from speaking to thinking to each other. It was easier, and didn't require us to stop touching or kissing, or require any extra breaths. It was difficult, however, when he started to kiss the tender skin of my wrist tattoo, slowly working his way up my arm, and drawing me closer with his other arm. Desire radiated from his body in waves, making it hard to think.

But I needed to think.

Using every ounce of remaining sanity, I pushed Hiei away. "W-wait." My voice gained strength, but my will faltered as I saw confusion flash briefly across Hiei's face.

"The rules for demons are different." I parroted the phrase I had heard enough times to drive me insane.

"They are." Hiei said slowly.

"But what does that mean? What are the rules for… well, for _this?_" I gestured between us, hardly clothed, blushing.

Hiei paused a long time, although I didn't know what he was waiting for. "It can mean nothing, and have no binding consequences. It can lay claim, as a lover, or a slave. It can bind demons together, as in human marriage."

Then came the all-important question. "And… what do you want to do?"

Hiei was quiet, which always concerned me. I could sort of see him battling out what to say in his head. I watched with baited breath, waiting for him to say something, anything.

Unexpectedly, he locked eyes with me, and said simply: "Watch."

The Jagan glowed, and a familiar violet light flooded my vision. The first time Hiei and I had wandered through my memories, we had been third-party observers, watching the scene play out. But this time, I was alone, and my senses and thoughts were not my own. I was standing on the high branch of a tree, watching two small figures in a clearing below.

_Aria moved through the underbrush with surprising ease, avoiding the carnivorous plants and paying close attention to the combustibles. Hokushin seemed somewhat capable of watching her for a little while, and I darted away. My compulsion to check and re-check the lands surrounding the human woman to ensure her safety was bordering on insane. _

_When I step outside her presence, it seems utterly ridiculous to have feelings for a human; they're weak, they don't live long, and one tiny bit of damage and they just fall apart. But as I think of her, and remember the touch of her hand, and softness of her lips, I am lost in her, and the thought of surrendering my human is impossible._

"_Lord Hiei?" I was almost startled by the monk's sudden presence. The monk – wasn't he just with Aria?_

"_Who is with the onna?" I asked sharply. I intimidated him, and he responded with a question that made my blood run cold._

"_How much blood can a human lose before they die?" If I had a heart, it certainly would have stopped. I didn't reply, I just vanished – at least to his eyes. I couldn't breathe – what happened? Is she bleeding? Is she dying? Why couldn't the monk protect her? Why did he leave?_

_Entering the clearing, sword drawn, I was surrounded by her scent. Honeysuckle. It was odd for the American woman to have the scent of a South Asian flower, but there were many odd things about her. I can see in an instant that she's not dead, dying, or bleeding, and realize that I've been fooled._

_I growled. "You tricked me."_

"_And you're avoiding me. So we're even." She shot back. _

_This woman had such power over me. Her short brown-blonde hair was slowly growing back, and she would constantly push it away from her eyes. Those eyes – those blue eyes that made me forget how to speak. If I wanted to be angry with her, I always had to avoid her eyes. _

_Her lips pursed, and I knew she was angry with me. Good; I shouldn't be the only one suffering. How could she be so stupid as to agree to be in this dangerous world? I was so certain that she would refuse. Couldn't she understand the seriousness of her situation? _

_It was hard to beat back the desire to seize her and leave Tourin altogether. I still had safehouses in Alaric, or maybe I could stand to hide her in the human world. She would be safe there. _

_Equally difficult to silence was the desire to shut her in a room and burn all of her clothes, so that I could just watch her move around naked, bare to my desires. To take her to bed, and scream my name, and bear my mark. Mine. _

_The power of the human woman was contained in the curve of her neck, and the lightness of her sigh, and her calming, exciting touch, and those infinite blue eyes. She had power of courage, and kindness. She was very… human. And I was coming to like that._

_Damn woman. Let me keep you safe._

"_Why are you avoiding me?" she asked, hands on hips. _

"_I don't want you here." I snarled, the statement encompassing more feeling and worry than she can possibly understand. I could see the pain in her eyes, and I would rather have stuck a knife into my own hand._

The memory started to fade away as violet overtook my vision again. My heart was racing as the red of Hiei's eyes pierced the violet again. I was back in my room in Tourin, and a shirtless, very attractive fire demon was standing before me.

I couldn't find the words to describe what had just happened.

Hiei drew me close to him, and I remembered that I wasn't wearing a shirt, and neither was he. His hand ran up my arm, lightly touched my neck, and buried in my hair. He leaned close, and whispered very quietly in my ear. "I want you to be mine. I don't care how."

That memory had left very little roof for confusion about how the fire demon felt about me. He was a man of few words, especially kind ones, but I couldn't – and didn't want to – deny what I had just seen, and felt. I had never known anything like that. How often do you ever _know_ how someone feels, without room for pride or obfuscation?

I couldn't help it, it was just too perfect. I unfurled in his arms, my heart billowing like a sail in strong winds. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and surrendered. "That sounds good to me."

_This is crazy. I'm crazy for doing this._

There were a lot of clothes on the floor, and nothing left on either one of us. The room must have been over a hundred degrees from the waves of heat rolling off of Hiei's body alone, but I could barely feel it.

_This all happened so fast. I've never fallen for anyone this fast._

I think the sheets actually caught fire at one point.

_Am I crazy? I might be crazy._

The room had a chorus of the usual bestial sounds, and it was wonderful. At the climax of it all, Hiei sank his sharp canines into the juncture of my shoulder and my neck, and it felt strangely, wonderfully, _right_.

_Mine._

* * *

Lots of relationship-y stuff in this chapter, and more meaty plot stuff to come in the next chapter!

Readers, I love you all! Please review!


	34. Chapter 34 - Gandara

A/N: Hi readers! Freshly home from Otakon in Baltimore I sat down to try and crank out the bits and pieces of this chapter that have been holding it up! I swear, sometimes it's the little details that derail consistent publishing. For example, the chapter _after_ next is almost completely written, but I have very little started for the next chapter. So it may be a little while, sorry.

_However,_ because I don't have anything written I'm giving you the opportunity to write in your review what you'd like to see in the next chapter, and if I incorporate it, I will credit you in the next chapter!

If that's not a great reason to review, nothing is!

Enjoy!

* * *

I slipped from my familiar bed in the wee hours of morning. It required a little bit of work, as warm arms had wrapped tightly around my waist. I rolled away slowly, and his grip started to loosen. He eventually released me, and I tried to move whisper-quiet around the room as I dressed and started to collect my belongings.

We were leaving for Gandara, and I wasn't excited. Don't ask me why I packed slowly that morning, I couldn't tell you. I had a lingering feeling of dread, with no reasonable explanation.

There wasn't much to pack.

I nicked my toothbrush from the bathroom, and glanced in the mirror, before stopping entirely. I caught a glimpse of my newest "skin art", and absolutely needed to stop and get a better look.

_Lover's Mark_. It sounded so romantic. I touched it gingerly, craning my head in one direction, trying to get a better view in the mirror. It looked like any old bite, but it was healing pretty well already.

"The physical part of the mark will fade within a day." I hadn't heard Hiei get out of bed, or move to the doorway. He was only half-dressed, and I felt a sense of déjà vu – it was the same as when he scared Kichirou almost to death a lifetime ago. It was the same image of a well-fucked man leaning in the doorway.

I turned my gaze back to the mirror. "That's a shame." I stroked it with a light finger. "I should get it tattooed." I knew that the Lover's Mark wasn't permanent. Hiei's little ball of energy within me would flicker out within a month or so.

I could feel the little ball of warmth surrounding my heart. I don't know if it was intentional, but it warded away the chill of the stone floor. It was a reflection of his silent affections.

He chuckled lightly. "It hardly matches the rest of your… aesthetic." An aesthetic of flowers and scientific drawings would hardly clash with teeth marks. But maybe he had a point.

I shrugged, turning away from the mirror and massaging the kink out of my neck. "Well, I could always have some symbolic art instead – what about a poppy? It wouldn't quite match your eyes, but close enough." He didn't comment, but I didn't read into it. I had been witness to his internal dialogue of just two minutes; it gave me quiet comfort. "I would have to wait until I got back to Japan, though. I don't want to think about all the possible reactions I might have to plant dyes here." I shuddered, and I saw Hiei smirk out of the corner of my eye.

I tossed my toiletries into my duffel, and did one more turn around the room just to make sure I hadn't missed anything. I think it was a side effect of the Mark, but I felt an urge to glance at Hiei. He was leaning next to the door, glowering sourly.

"You seem nervous." I said lightly. The muscles in his jaw flexed once, and I knew I was right. "You obviously know something I don't – care to share?"

I wasn't judging his concern, or badgering him for details; I was just touching him with a point of concern. It put me in a better position to speak to him as an equal, and for him to address his concerns with me as such.

He approached the bed where I was sitting, but didn't sit down. His arms were crossed, and muscles tense. "Half of demon world knows you're here, simply because you're a guest of the Lord of Tourin. However – there has been no sign of Taisho. From what I have seen, he hasn't taken a single step into Tourin."

"And?" I asked.

His jaw flexed again. "He has a plan. There are key factors we won't see until he strikes. Of that I'm certain." Tension hung in the air for a few long moments.

I stood from the bed, lifting the duffel with me. "Mm. Just let me know what you need from me, okay?" I thought the matter was settled, but as I went to lift my duffel, Hiei took the strap from me. "Yes?" I asked.

I could feel his concern. The little ball of energy in my chest was squeezing my heart with anxiety, and I knew in that moment that Hiei shared my dread of Gandara.

His eyes blazed brightly in the darkness. "Don't accept anything _anyone_ tries to hand you – unless it is from Yomi himself." He fixed me with a serious gaze. "And whatever happens, if I tell you to run, you _run_."

I nodded dumbly. It was the sort of thing I had heard many times in movies – the muscular hero instructing his gentle damsel, who of course would never follow those instructions. The thought did not give me comfort, but I nodded.

Seemingly satisfied, Hiei gave me back my duffel. We walked out together, descending the tight-walled winding stairwells of Yusuke's castle.

The others were waiting for us just outside in the bright sunlight, Kuwabara and Kurama were appropriately prepared with backpacks, but Yusuke wasn't carrying any luggage. He looked quite unprepared to travel overall.

I interrupted their conversation with a surprised statement of "You're not coming with us?" It seemed like an inappropriate time to be making our group even smaller.

"Nah, I thought I'd just hold down the fort here." His smile was almost a grimace, but he hid it in a shrug. I felt a pit forming in my stomach.

Kurama tried to offer a better explanation, but it wasn't much reassuring to me. "While it would afford you more protection, it would make it more obvious that we are… excessively concerned about your safety. Yusuke will wait on the border between Gandara and Tourin."

"It just seems... worrisome." The statement didn't well express my concerns. Hiei shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another, and I wondered if he could sense my discomfort through the Mark. Kurama was speaking again, and I didn't have the opportunity to ask."Perception is everything. Without Yusuke, we are simply two demon guards for two humans."

I snorted. "I can't imagine that _any_ demon would mistake the two of you for _simply demon guards_."

He chuckled. "True, but _Lord_ Yusuke appearing in Gandara would draw too much attention from all eyes."

"I guess." I sighed. "How exactly are we getting to Gandara? I don't imagine public transportation comes out this far..."

"Puu is taking you straight to the City."

"...poo?" I tapped my earring, thinking the translation earrings must finally be giving out.

"_Puuuuuuuuu!_" A large cloud of blue above us had started to descend, and I realized a little too late that it wasn't a cloud, but a monstrous-sized feathered beast, calling out with an impressive voice. Kurama and Hiei had stepped far enough out of it's path, but I was dumbstruck.

I'm not certain of the exact string of epithets that rolled out of my mouth, but I would wager it was something like "_SweetbabyJesusWHATTHEFUCK!"_

In a gust of wind from expansive wings, a massive blue Phoenix touched down just feet from where I stood. A wingspan of at least twenty or thirty feet beat heavily, nearly knocking me over. They wrapped around me briefly, and as they brushed past me I could feel they were as soft as silk.

A large head on a long, long neck arched down to level with me, and warm brown eyes peered into mine. It nipped at my sleeve with a long yellow beak, and I could swear I saw it smile...

"Uhh... Yusuke?" Given the fact that no one had yet to drag me backwards and away from the towering specimen of blue, it couldn't be that dangerous. But I was still understandably hesitant.

"Puu's a Spirit Beast - mine, actually. Koenma said he was supposed to be a reflection of my soul or whatever, but I think it's a bunch of bullshit." He scoffed. "He'll stop pulling at your sleeves if you scratch behind his ears." Yusuke suggested. I reached out slowly, and scratched behind one large, floppy ear.

It was the best texture I had ever felt. It was soft and luxurious like chinchilla, but with a thick texture like reindeer hide. Puu purred like an overgrown house cat, nuzzling into my hand in search of a better scratch.

"Puu can only carry two people, so he'll take you and Kuwabara. Kurama and Hiei are fast enough to keep pace on the ground." I jumped a little - I was so engrossed with Puu's wonderful feathers that I completely missed Yusuke appearing next to me.

"Kurama - do you want me to take your duffel?" I offered. "It might be hard to keep pace with that heavy thing."

"If it isn't a burden, it would be appreciated." He sighed happily, letting it fall from his shoulder.

Kuwabara leapt to the ready. "No way, Aria; I can't let you carry a man's bag! That wouldn't be gentlemanly of me! _I'll _carry Kurama's stuff!" He was so enthusiastic, and genuinely concerned that he might lose his man card, I didn't have much room to argue.

"Uhh... sure? I'll be sure to let Yukina know what a gentleman you were." I offered in return. Kuwabara's eyes filled with hearts, and he pranced away, heavy bags heald high above his head.

Yusuke shot me his best beaming smile. "I'll see you soon." He pulled me in for a hug and whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear it. I'm sure that no one else heard it, either. My eyes widened a little, and he stepped back quickly from the hug.

"Yusuke-" I started, but he cut me off.

"Don't let Kuwabara get himself into any trouble, okay? The idiot doesn't know when to keep his damn mouth shut." He spoke loudly, and it elicited a "hey!" from a nearly-out-of-earshot Kuwabara. They instantly started to bicker, and Kurama sighed.

"Perhaps we should leave before they get too involved in their fight. In my experience, it can go on for quite some time."

"Right." I agreed. _Hmm. So how am I supposed to get up there? _I thought to myself, staring up and up and up at Puu's high stature.

"Onna." Hiei addressed me shortly.

"Mm?" I replied, turning. An arm quickly looped around my waist, and before I could recognize that I had been lifted from the ground, I was sitting on Puu's super-soft back.

"Oh! Thank you, darlin'." I thanked Hiei for the quick elevator ride.

"Hn." He grunted, jumping back down to the ground.

"That was very nice of you, Hiei." Kurama commented with a smile.

"Don't make me slit your throat." Hiei snarled in reply.

My gentle lover.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and hollered down to the fighting boys. "Hey Kuwabara, the bus is leaving!"

"Hey, wait for me!" He cried out, breaking off his fight with Yusuke to crawl up Puu's back, his and Kurama's bags dragging him back down to the ground at least twice.

Once Kuwabara was properly situated, Puu took off with another great gust of wind. I peered down at the rapidly receding ground, and a familiar spray of black hair grew smaller and smaller.

"Hey - don't lean out so far!" Kuwabara called. His arms were wrapped very tightly around Puu's neck, and it was a wonder he wasn't choking the poor bird.

"Don't worry," I said, leaning back. "I'm not afraid."

* * *

Botanically speaking, it was clear to me when we had crossed from Tourin into Gandara. Sparse deserts and thin forests transitioned into thick, lush greenery. Puu was setting a great pace (or is it speed?), and every so often I would lean out to the side and try to spot a flash of red or black in the thick forest.

I was often disappointed, but just when I would start to worry that they had fallen behind, Hiei would leap from the canopy in a swift flash of black.

"Did you bring a jacket or something? It's really cold up here." Kuwabara's teeth were chattering, and he was trying to rub heat back into his arms.

"Really? I didn't notice." Truthfully I couldn't feel the cold that he was describing. I would have described the air as spring-like; warm, but with a slightly cool breeze that keeps you from overheating. Great s'mores weather, actually. "I don't think my sweaters would fit you that well, Kuwabara."

"I hope we get there soon or I'm gonna be a popsicle." He shattered, his teeth clacking together.

"I think I see it, actually..." I mumbled, squinting into the distance. I could see the glittering of lights on the horizon. After a few more miles flew by, I was certain that it was Yomi's city. The clouds were thick and dark overhead the city, and I could feel the beginnings of that lingering chill that Kuwabara had described. The city towered high over darkened woods, bright pinpoints of light beating away the chill and the shadows.

Those lights should have given me comfort, but it just made me want to turn around and go back to bright, hot, dry Tourin. But the city approached even faster than I had been prepared for, and we descended through the wild air to the edge of the great spires.

Puu landed in a steel-plated courtyard. It seemed like the only green space in the entire city was in the small walls of a traditional Japanese structure I had spotted while we were flying overhead.

Kuwabara had to help me slide from Puu's back, as Hiei and Kurama had yet to make an appearance. He looked at me oddly while helping me down. "Hey I forgot to ask - what's up with your energy? It's all outta whack." Kuwabara poked at the air around me, squinting.

"Well, since you asked, Hiei... donated some energy." I could almost see the explanation fly right over poor Kuwabara's head.

"Huh? What does that mean? Are you sick?"

"No, no, I'm not sick." I waved my hands. "Uh, ask Kurama; he'll explain it." _Sorry, Kurama, but tag- you're it._

The courtyard was filled somewhat rapidly by a set of guards in armor and wide steel helmets. They were headed by a small demon that reminded me of a cross between Yoda and a gnarly old stick. His smile made me want to kick him across the hall, but he seemed fairly non-threatening overall. It still felt odd to be greeted by guards.

"Greetings. I am Yuda." He didn't bother bowing, so neither did I. "Kurama and Hiei are already waiting in the guest suite. If you would follow me, you may join them." I wondered briefly how much reassuring it had taken from Kurama to keep him from running all over the city to meet me when I landed.

"Of course. Just give us a moment, please." I tried to show my best manners, all while keeping my senses on high alert.

Kuwabara ended up taking all three duffel bags (proclaiming all the while that it was the proper thing for a gentleman to do) while I bid Puu goodbye. I gave him another scratch behind his floppy ears, and he purred in my hands.

"Be safe, okay?" I wasn't sure what else to say, so I left it at that. I stopped scratching, and he took off in a maelstrom of wind and a flutter of feathers.

Yuda led us on a merry goose chase through winding halls and up stairs, and then down stairs, then down another hallway again. I was absolutely certain that he was trying to get us completely lost, and it was pissing us off.

"Excuse me, but how much further?" I asked, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

"We are here."

It was the only true familiar door in the entire hallway, and I'm not sure how I missed it. Yuda presented me with an actual _key, _and instructions. "When you are prepared to start your surveys, please inform the guard at the door, and he will take you to the city limits." Such trusting people.

Yuda led almost all of the guards away and back down the hall, but one gray-clad soldier stayed; a silent pillar of distrust.

"Well," I sighed. "Shall we put Kurama and Hiei at ease?"

I fumbled with the oddly-shaped key for a moment - it head an oddly broad and heavy head, with a long, thin neck and narrow teeth. It was definitely going to stab a hole through my pocket at some point.

I finally managed to turn it properly in the lock, and swung the door open. I almost knocked Hiei over, as he was standing maybe an inch past the range of the door. "_Where the hell have you been_?" He barked.

"Hi honey, what's for dinner?" I chirped, knowing it would annoy him. "Don't be mad, but I stopped at the bar on the way home from work and had a few drinks with the guys."

Hiei's eye twitched with anger. Success!

"Would you get out of the doorway? This stuff is heavy." Kuwabara grunted from the hall, legs trembling from the strain of walking all over Gandara carrying the belongings of three people.

"Whoops! Sorry, Kuwabara." I tugged my bag from his arms, slinging it over my shoulder again.

The suite was quite nice. It seemed completely out of place in the cold steel city, as it had rich, soft carpeting, wood-paneled plaster walls, and comfortable-looking furniture in the common living room. There were four wood doors that I could see - three bedrooms and a bathroom door set down a sight hallway.

"Only three rooms?!" Kuwabara cried. "What a cheapskate! Well I'm not sharing a room with Hiei, no matter what kind of lots we draw."

"Yomi is more perceptive than I gave him credit for." Kurama observed.

"But... how would he know? Tourin is... quite far." I blushed a little, but my confusion was stronger than my embarrassment.

Kurama pondered for a moment. "I would presume that he sensed the change when Hiei arrived, and adjusted his plans from there. This is how he shows us that he is already one step ahead of our expectations."

"Know _what?" _Kuwabara bellowed.

"Volume does not equal intelligence." Hiei muttered.

Kuwabara jumped on the comment instantly."_What did you say?! _Do I need to punch your face in?!"

Hiei smirked. "I'd like to see you try."

"_Children!_ Can we focus, please?" I yelled, sounding more like my mother than I would care to admit. "Kuwabara, you and Kurama will have your own rooms. Hiei and I will take the third room." I said soothingly.

Kuwabara jumped right on that. "Aria, you don't have to sacrifice yourself like that! Hiei might smother you just for breathing too loud!"

Hiei bristled sharply - accusing a demon of killing their own Marked lover was definitely a no-no. I stepped in to save the poor human's life before Hiei chopped his head off. "Kurama..." I sighed. "could you please...?"

Kurama was thankfully intelligent enough to fill in the blanks of my request, and was definitely aware of Hiei's mounting hostility. "Of course."

I turned a sour look on Hiei And _you - _you come with _me._" He begrudgingly, and surprisingly, followed me into our suite room. I hoisted my heavy duffel up onto our surprisingly luxe bed, and started unpacking into a shiny, solid wood dresser.

"Let me just say this first - you can't kill Kuwabara. And Kurama's taking care of bringing him up to speed a little more, and I'm not asking you to be best friends or anything, just... tone it down a little while everyone adjusts?" I shot him a quick smile, but he looked just as angry as when I first walked in the door.

_"Where were you._" He demanded again.

I kept unpacking, ignoring the hostility in his voice."Yuda led us on a merry go-around of the city to get us good and lost. Yomi's an asshole, I'm learning." My comment was only met with silence. I was vaguely aware that the room was quite hot, and the Mark on my shoulder was tingling slightly.

"Hey," I said softly, reaching for him. He glared at me hotly, but that didn't stop me. "Hey, were you worried?" I took his hand, kissing the knuckles briefly. "I imagine Kurama had to practically threaten to tie you up to keep you here."

"Hn." He sounded a little less angry.

"I'm sure Puu wouldn't have landed if it wasn't safe. And Kuwabara would have put his body between me and any danger, just because that's how he is."

"That oaf is almost useless." Hiei snapped, again a little less sharply than before.

I laughed llightly."Well, I'm _actually_ useless in the Makai."

"_WHAT?!" _I heard finally Kuwabara scream through the thick wood paneling. Kurama had finally gotten the message through his thick head.

"I think -" I wasn't able to finish the thought, because Kuwabara burst into the room, followed by an apologetic Kurama.

"Kuwabara, _really-" _He tried, but Kuwabara was still yelling at the top of his lungs - my poor ears. His train of thought was hard to follow, but it was a long rambling train that properly expressed his utter confusion that the anti-social demon had managed to woo _anybody_.

"Ku-wa-ba-ra!" I shouted over him, waving my arms. "Please calm down! I agreed to this, and I'm quite happy, so please stop screaming before we all go deaf!" I clapped my hands together, fixing Kuwabara with my best 'mom look'. "Got it?"

He grumbled a little. "You let me know if I need to punch his face in."

_Not one word._ I shot the thought to Hiei as soon as I saw him open his mouth. It snapped shut.

"I appreciate your chivalry, Kuwabara." I thanked him generously, keeping my relieved sigh reserved for later. "Why don't we all have a seat in the living room and come up with a game plan?"

I ushered him out of the room, aided by Kurama.

I could feel Hiei's hot presence behind me, and I rolled my eyes preemptively. "I know, I know; I'm not the boss of you, mister big bad fire demon."

Instead of a snippy response, I got a warm hand wrapped around my waist, and a nip of sharp teeth on my shoulder. "Mm. I'll deal with you later." He purred. Talk about_ tingles, _from head to toe.

I swatted him away before I turned into a puddle of goo, and retreated to the living room. "So how are we playing this?" I asked the room, sitting heavily on one of the - surprisingly comfortable - leather sofas.

Kurama was already lounging across from me. "Kuwabara and I will accompany you as you start your survey. Hiei will take care of reconnaissance. We have a few friends in Tourin that we could ask for assistance, but that would only draw more attention to you. It's a delicate balance - we want to get Taisho's attention, but not anyone else's."

I couldn't argue with the logic. "Makes sense. I need you to help me with identifying the plants, anyway."

"I'm not sure what help I'm gonna be; I'm not great at Biology." Kuwabara mumbled.

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "I'll show you how to find some of the more obvious plants, and recording them for me would be really helpful."

"Just as long I don't have to touch anything that explodes or sets my hair on fire." Kuwabara patted his pompadour lovingly, and I had to work very hard not to laugh.

"I'm sure we can keep you away from the dangerous stuff."

It was a cheerful evening, interrupted only occasionally by Hiei insulting Kuwabara, Kuwabara threatening something in reply, and either Kurama and I redirecting the conversation away from incendiary outcomes.

The day's travel finally caught up with us, and I excused myself to bed long before anyone else seemed even a little bit tired. They were kind enough to keep their voices hushed as I tried to sleep, but it eluded me.

I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable in the alien space. The bed felt weird. The sheets were heavy, and the blanket was trying to suffocate me. I would get into what I thought would be a comfortable place in bed, and then I would somehow get uncomfortable again. It was one of those moments where you wonder how you've ever managed to get to sleep before. We spend half of our lives sleeping - shouldn't I have a preferred angle by now?

But that aside, I gave up. I called for aide.

_I'm lonely_. I whined.

A minute or so after, light spilled into the room from an opened door, then it was dark again. I could hear rustling of clothes, and my favorite person slid into bed.

"Hi." I whispered as I cuddled up close. He was warm and familiar, and I instantly relaxed.

"Go to sleep." He murmured back. His hand ran slowly through my hair in an incredibly soothing motion.

"Kay." I was already half-asleep, at peace at last.

* * *

It made almost no sense to me how Gandara could be impossibly cold inside the city and in the air above, but swelteringly hot on the forest floor. After an hour of surveying, however, it made complete sense.

The forests of Gandara were completely overwhelmed by these seemingly invasive highly combustible plants. They looked a lot like dandelions when in full bloom, but with leaves the texture of lamb's ear. But trust me, you really don't want to touch them. When you touch the leaves they excrete an awful, burning, sticky sap that catches fire in only a few seconds.

So don't touch it.

I made sure to point it out to Kuwabara several different times.

But, even when untouched, the plant heats the environment around it, and Gandara was overrun with the stuff. It was definitely going to be a feature of my management plan.

I had to crouch very awkwardly to avoid touching those plants in an attempt to categorize the others. It also meant that I was sitting in what I would approximate to be 95 degree heat, lying on the ground or with a leg twisted all the way around. I had to have Kuwabara drag me backwards out of a shrub once, because I couldn't find a safe place to put my hands.

Sure, I could have asked Kurama to make them grow somewhere else, but I didn't want to disturb the natural configuration of the forest.

But it took forever. I suffered in silence.

I was sketching the very interesting bark texture of a low-lying bush when I was unexpectedly poked in the ankle by Kuwabara.

"Yeah?" I called out.

"We've got company." he called back. I wriggled my way out of the underbrush, and sat up, wiping sweat from my forehead with the back of my arm.

Yuda and a host of soldiers emerged from the trees, carefully avoiding the dangerous plants themselves. Most of them did not look at all pleased to be anywhere near the hot, thick greenery. It made more sense now that there were almost no plants in the city.

"Can I help you?" Kurama asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously. I felt a little like royalty – my vassals placing themselves between me and the common or dangerous people.

Yuda cleared his throat regally. "My Lady Aria, Lord Yomi extends an invitation for you and your companions to attend a reception this evening." He held out a glossy envelope for me to take. Before I could even ask, Kurama plucked it out of his hand.

Either Hiei had told Kurama that I wasn't to take anything handed to me, or Kurama was familiar enough with the many dangers of the Makai to know already.

"Um, thank you. Please tell my Lord Yomi that we will be pleased to attend." Even without knowing any of the details, I was certain that refusing under any circumstance other than sudden loss of limb would be quite rude.

Yuda bowed slightly, and walked off into the underbrush, soldiers in tow.

Kurama opened the mystery envelope, and slid out a relatively harmless-looking sheet of cardstock paper.

"It's a gala." He checked his watch briefly. "In four hours."

"How far are we from the city?" I asked.

"Hour and a half." Kurama estimated.

I did some quick numbers in my head. "Yup, we need to leave right now."

"Why do girls need so much time to get ready?" Kuwabara grumbled.

"It's an art, Kuwabara." I replied.

* * *

There_ is_ an art to getting ready for a gala. There are only a few skills I learned from my mother, and they usually stuck. My mother was a Texas rose. Not literally a flower, but she was brought up in Austin, and was sent to _finishing school_ to learn to be a proper lady. She was also a spitfire. She was the kind of lady who shot the snapping turtle living on our backyard pond because it kept eating her expensive decorative fish.

But beyond her wild temperament, she could turn into an elegant piece of art for an evening event. I loved to watch her when I was a young girl, and she would smile and explain each step in great detail.

First is always a relaxing shower. Never use new products, as it will do unpredictable things to your hair. Hairspray is not optional, and bobby pins should never show, should you choose to use them.

On makeup, keep it simple; a touch of eyeshadow – brown, no flashy colors – mascara, powder, touch of blush, and a stunning lipstick. No one is going to believe your skin is as flawless as porcelain, or that your eyes are as big as a half-dollar.

Happy with my makeup, I slipped into the beautiful blue-green-gold gown that Keiko had bought half a lifetime ago. I didn't have any heels tucked into my duffel, but the gently pooling fabric hid my flats quite well.

I fiddled with my hands in the absence of a clutch to wring. I had no use for a phone, or a wallet, or other etcetera of the human world while in the Makai. But I still wished for the comforting familiarity of a clutch or a purse. The quiet whisper of luxurious fabric would have to do.

I took one last look in the mirror, and walked out of my room, double-checking that I didn't close the train of my dress in the door (it happens).

"Are we ready?" I asked, but did a double-take. Three well-dressed gentlemen were waiting for me, dressed in clean-cut, well-tailored, black tuxedos. _Oh my._ Hiei looked quite cross. I guessed that he didn't willingly put on the alien clothing. Kuwabara looked moderately uncomfortable, but Kurama seemed right at home.

"You're staring." Hiei growled.

I blinked rapidly, shaking my head. "Sorry, I'm just not used to men in tuxedos waiting for me. Where did you even_ get_ those?"

"They were waiting for us when we arrived." Kurama explained.

"Well that's just weird." I commented.

Kurama shrugged lightly. "Yomi is eccentric, to say the least."

I tried to shake away my jitters. "So, what's the plan?"

"The guard outside the door will take us to the gala space." Kurama began to explain, and the longer he talked the more my stomach sank."Kuwabara and I will enter first, and you will follow with Hiei. I doubt Taisho would be foolish enough to strike in the heart of Yomi's territory on a night like this, but one can never be too careful."

"Okay..." I said slowly when he paused for my affirmation.

"Hiei will escort you, but once inside you will be on your own." Great, just fantastic; that didn't make me anxious at all. And Kurama killed me with his final note."And one last recommendation; be mindful - Yomi has an odd temper, and I believe he still bears a grudge against Yusuke for proposing a tournament that he then lost."

I nodded slowly. "Got it."

Kurama opened our front door, and signaled the guard. "Shall we?"

Hiei offered me his arm.

_Be calm. _His voice whispered to me.

_No promises._ I replied. We left the safety of our little suite, and began the long walk to descend into the colorful, glittering menagerie that was Yomi's gala.

* * *

This chapter dragged on... FOREVER. Not that any of you are complaining that it's extra long.

I know you all must be wondering - _what did Yusuke say to Aria before she left Tourin? _Well, I'm not telling you yet, so deal with it.

Review, and tell me what you would like to see in the next chapter in your review! If it fits in well with the existing storyline I have, I'll use it and give you credit!


	35. Chapter 35 - The Dance

A/N: Hi Readers!

I wanted to take one second to answer a question from a reader - Hiei gave Aria a _Lover's Mark_ \- a temporary claim. Second part of that question was how will said mark change their interactions with Mukuro - you'll just have to wait and find out!

Kudos to Catharina M., whose suggestions are a lot like what I already had in mind for this chapter, but I praise her mind-reading abilities.

I _will _say that they're going to have much bigger problems before they make it to Alaric.

And hooray for a faster update!

* * *

The room had exploded with color - feathers, scales, and other interesting textures were abundant in the room. I was acutely aware that Kuwabara and I were the sole representatives from the human race in that grand ballroom. In a room full of well-adorned demons, I almost matched the crowd with my glittering blue-green-gold gown, and colorful tattoos.

_I think I just saw a grizzly bear walk by. She wore yellow. _I thought absently.

_Pay attention. _Hiei chastised.

I took a little comfort in the knowledge that Hiei was tracking my every move with his Jagan, and could appear at a moment's notice if he thought I was in any danger.

There was a small orchestra playing in the corner of the ballroom, in music that fell into a genre somewhere between classical and jazz. It was a pleasant sound to fill the room, but in a way unsettling, as it defied my brain's natural expectations and desire to classify.

I picked up the first drink offered to me on a silver tray, and downed it quickly. I was a bundle of nerves, and standing alone in the crowd was not helping. My three guards were spread thin in the crowd, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was Yomi's intent.

"Lady Aria." Right on cue, the blind horned demon appeared as the crowd parted before him. He looked severe and almost dour in the bright room, dressed in muted ones of grey and greyish-purple. He looked almost underdressed, considering he had sent the boys tuxedos to wear. It almost looked like he had come straight from an advanced lab somewhere - crashing his own party, as it were. It also unnerved me that he walked with his eyes closed, even though he was blind. It made him seem excessively calm, and the small assured smile on his face didn't help much.

I gave a wobbly curtsy, and hoped that it was appropriate. "Lord Yomi, thank you for your generous invitation."

He let me complete my sloppy curtsy - dress whispering delicately - before speaking. "Think nothing of it. May I have this dance?" He extended a hand, which I swiftly took.

"Of course, my Lord." I replied, too intimidated to decline.

My mother - the southern Lady, you remember - taught me the basics of dancing. It mostly comprised of 'let the man lead', and examples on how to do that. It does require a certain level of attention and quick reaction times, as dancing leads tend to be subtle - a lot like horse dressage, actually. When dancers work well together, it should be a beautiful harmonious movement, and not obvious that one party has no idea what the plan is.

Just picture me as a clueless - but well-trained horse - with Yomi as the commanding leader. And Lord Yomi was a surprisingly excellent dancer.

I didn't have much time to simply enjoy the feeling of dancing before I was forced to turn my thoughts to diplomacy once more. Yomi spoke with a calm tone that belied his fierce intelligence. "I understand I should thank you for the research you will conduct on these lands."

I tried not to swallow my tongue, anxiety biting at my stomach. "Please, think nothing of it."

Yomi nodded. "I admire your abilities." I heard the words come out of his mouth, but somehow they sounded like there should have been a _for a human, _at the end. But he completely threw me off my game with his next statement. "I would be pleased to offer you permanent residence and protection within my lands. You would have limitless resources to thoroughly research our plants and ecology to your heart's desire."

It was quite the bomb to drop in the middle of the waltz. I almost stepped on his foot. I nearly threw up. I nearly threw up while stepping on his foot.

I chose my words _very_ carefully. "For your wonderful offer, I thank you. I would hope that you would also offer me the time to consider it thoroughly before I give you an answer."

He gave a faint nod. "Of course."

As we swept around the room, I caught flashes of familiar faces among the horned, feathered, and scaled demons in the room. Some of the demons looked incredibly human, save for an odd hair color, or unnatural eyes, or any one of a thousand little features. But I could always pick out my friends, and my lover.

I had to draw my gaze away from Hiei as we waltzed around the room, and the crowd obscured his figure.

Yomi seemed to sense that my attention had wavered, and snapped it back easily."I had the strangest visit from a lower demon representative, claiming to serve a man named Taisho."

My heart skipped about four beats. "Is that so?" I asked, somehow managing to fake a calm demeanor.

Yomi's calm smile widened slightly."He seemed very interested in meeting you. Even suggested that I should deny you entrance to my lands."

I was at a loss for words. All I could manage was a "How peculiar."

"Mmm. Peculiar indeed." Yomi leaned close, whispering in my ear. "Stranger still is your fear at the name - your heart betrays you, Aria."

"My Lord-" I stammered.

Yomi interrupted before I could come up with a convincing lie. "I find the atmosphere in here to be a tad stifling; take some air with me?" He offered his arm, and I - not daring to be rude - nodded sharply and looped my hand gently over his arm. Yomi strode with purpose across the floor, demons making quick steps to get out of his way. He had latched an iron grip on my arm, and I had to scurry to keep pace.

I didn't know that there were large French doors on the other side of the ballroom until we were standing before them. Two armor-clad guards opened the doors, and I felt a rush of cool air wash over me.

We were on a balcony, overlooking the huge city. The sky over Gandara was a deep blue, permeated in unpredictable spots by a warm lavender. I couldn't even begin to guess what made the sky look like that. It was also an unsettlingly starless sky. The buildings around us, however, provided plenty of glittering specks of light. It almost looked like the sky had been inverted - dark with glittering lights below, and warm colors above.

It was more beautiful from the air - safe on Puu's back - I thought.

Beside me, Yomi faced the dark beauty of the city, and did an excellent imitation of a sighted man enjoying a view. "I have often found humans to be a generally useless race; too bound by short lifespans to accomplish much." If he didn't have the strength and power to grind my bones into bread, I would have given him a piece of my mind. "Given that fragility, it is so rare to see humans here. Who would have thought that rarity led to such demand? _Lord _Yusuke," he spat the name with great distaste. "and those loyal to him, as well as this new Taisho fellow."

Yomi's face had twisted into something spiteful, ugly, and altogether frightening. I could see the fury writhing under the cool demeanor he wore like armor. But in two seconds, his brow smoothed over, and that calm smile had returned. "Tell me honestly, Aria, how many years do you think you will live?"

I fought to find my tongue. Oh, there it is - plastered to the roof of my mouth in utter terror. "The average life expectancy for a human female is around eighty years."

We turned from the balcony to face the crowded ballroom once more. Demons glanced our way frequently, but none dared to openly stare. Nervous glances landed and swiftly averted, reveling in the joy of the room instead of the hostility rolling off of him in waves.

"Mmm. Such a short time. If you were snuffed out, say, today, it would almost make no difference." Yomi placed his hands on my shoulder – he had large hands. I fought the urge to shudder as he stroked my neck with one long finger. "Do you think if I moved to kill you, anyone here would have the power to stop me?"

Among the many demons that glanced my our way was Kurama. Sharp green eyes saw Yomi's barely veiled threat on my life. I saw him freeze; his posture stiffened, and I saw his hands twitch - ready to fight. We locked eyes - green and blue - and I shook my head in an almost imperceptible side-to-side motion.

_No._

Kurama's hand stilled, but he remained tense. He understood my dilemma, but was obviously concerned for my safety. This sort of violent diplomacy required strength. if Kurama intervened I would have no hope of resurrecting the Demon Lord's respect.

I had no hope of being myself at this gala. I had to behave like my mother - velvet-wrapped steel with a sharp, poisonous shank. "I think it's generally unwise to kill invited guests. It might curb party attendance in the future." I replied softly to his gentle, vicious question.

Yomi laughed shortly. "Perhaps."

"I imagine when word spreads of the great lengths you have gone to provide for the demons in Gandara that King Enki will be quite pleased with you. Even to a lowly human, Gandara seems far more advanced than other lands I have seen." A little ego-stroking never hurt anyone.

Yomi was silent for a time, those iron hands clasped on my shoulders too tightly. He tapped me neck with a thoughtful finger, as you or I would drum our fingers on a table. It made me jump a little when he released me; I was half-expecting him to just snap my neck. "Consider my offer, Aria. Gandara is a safe place to wrap yourself in research, and never worry for the world around you."

I took a long step forward before turning to curtsy. The distance gave me confidence to find my voice again. "I thank you again for your offer, and the time you have allowed for me to consider it at length."

Yomi's cool smile broadened a little. "I believe others are looking for you. It was rude of me to keep you this long. Please - enjoy the evening."

"I will, thank you, Lord Yomi." I curtsied one more time, before endeavoring to put distance between myself and the quiet, angry demon Lord.

Kurama was waiting for me just inside the balcony door. He took me by the arm, leading me back into the throng of the room. "You did well." He squeezed my arm gently, encouragingly.

"Super; I feel like I'm about to throw up."

Kurama led me expertly through the crowd - it was much gentler than Yomi's manhandling, and much more like dancing than walking. Demons didn't get out of Kurama's way, but he moved easily through the crowd.

Kuwabara and Hiei materialized out of the crowd as we walked, Kuwabara walking next to Kurama as he released my arm, and I fell behind to walk with Hiei. It almost looked coordinated, I'm sure.

Hiei took my arm in the same fashion as Kurama, and Yomi before him. I relaxed into the delicious heat of Hiei's aura. His face was completely blank, but the Mark on my shoulder felt like it was almost on fire. But we walked in silence. Even Kuwabara didn't dare break the stoic silence. Guards led us back to our suite, as always, but it wasn't until I closed - and _locked_ \- the front door that I heaved a giant sigh of relief.

I slumped against the door, forehead pressed against the cool wood, just thankful for a moment that I was still alive and in one piece. It seemed like a good time to be thankful.

"Okay - what the heck just happened?" Kuwabara finally yelled.

"Time for a team meeting, darlin's." I pushed off the door, slipped off my shoes, and tucked my feet up under my legs as soon as I sat down on the couch.

Hiei stood next to the couch, but didn't sit. He crossed his arms over his chest, and glared at the floor. Kuwabara and Kurama sat slowly. I could see the stream of questions in Kurama's eyes, and tried to provide answers.

I fiddled with my hands, the adrenaline rush from my fear was taking its sweet time wearing off."We need to be on guard at all times. Yomi hasn't figured out what I am, but he knows there's something we're not telling him. He was approached by one of Taisho's men."

"What?" Kurama gasped.

"_When?"_ Kuwabara yelled.

I waved my hands to stop their outbursts. "I don't know - he didn't tell me very much. He was more interested in getting information _from_ me than _giving_ it to me." I took a deep, shaky breath. "I think he knows this is a cover. He will let me do my surveys, but this isn't the end."

"Well - what do you think he'll do?" Kuwabara asked.

"I honestly don't know." my voice was almost a whisper.

You could honestly taste the feelings swirling around the room - fear, anger, confusion. It was palpable.

We sat in silence.

* * *

"Onna?" Hiei's voice broke a long train of thought that was threatening to derail my sanity.

"Hm?" I asked absently, still wrapped up in my thoughts. I wondered how long I had been sitting at the end of the bed.

"You haven't moved in ten minutes."

Was that why my legs had cramped up? "Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Stop it." He said sharply.

I really, really wanted to say something like 'stop what?', but I knew what he was talking about, and I didn't have the energy for fake indignation. I flopped backwards on the bed, arms spread wide. "I had a relaxing life once. I would fight a fire, and then I would fight a fire, and then... I would fight a fire. I loved it." I sighed dramatically. "And now I'm just happy if someone doesn't snap my neck." Hiei growled at that. "Oh don't be like that." I retorted.

Hiei still looked quite displeased. He was standing somewhere between the bed and the door, arms crossed sourly over his chest again. I sat up about halfway, leaning back on my elbows. "You should really get out of that tuxedo. You look so uncomfortable."

"So do you." He said shortly. He still seemed upset, though I couldn't guess exactly what about.

I let my head flop to one side, trying to look cute to help his dour mood. "Well, maybe if either of us were partly on fire we might be more comfortable - that was _not_ an invitation to set my dress on fire, I _like_ this dress." Hiei smirked.

He uncrossed his arms, only to put his hands in his trouser pockets."Then get rid of it. Accidents happen."

I raised an eyebrow. I stood slowly from the bed, approaching my mysterious lover. "And what about _your _clothes?" I pulled a little at his bow tie, just enough to pull out the knot. "These look dangerously flammable to me."

His hands gripped mine around his collar. He pulled my hands away, drawing them to his mouth for him to kiss and nip with those incredibly sharp teeth. "You should do something about that."

My mind was getting fuzzy as all of my blood rushed to other places. "About what?" I stammered.

"Clothes." He reminded gently.

"Oh. Yeah."

His hands slid under the straps of the dress, slipping them from my shoulders and pushing the shimmering fabric down my body. I pulled at his shirt, suddenly confused at the magic that was buttons. They clattered to the ground in a sharp, sudden hailstorm.

I pulled him on top of me as we fell backwards onto the bed. I helped him shrug off his mangled shirt and jacket, and he yanked the last of the dress down past my knees. I kicked it off, and I'm not entirely sure where it ended up.

Hiei's hands were addictive enough on their own, but accompanied by his hot mouth I was constantly riding a wave of arousal.

If he wanted to stop me, he could have, but I pushed him over so that I straddled his waist. I arched my back, sitting tall and proud on my prize. Hiei's hands pressed hard on the small of my back, his fingers digging in just a little as he savored the feel of my skin.

_Mine._ said the tiny voice in my head.

"Uh-uh," I replied with a wicked grin. I leaned down slowly, letting bare skin press together very slowly as I sank down. I stopped just before I was in kissing reach, which seemed to frustrate him. "_mine_." I whispered.

Mine.

* * *

Hiei was beckoning me from the deeps of the forest. I knew it was him, but my feet were dragging. The trees were thicker than I remembered, and maneuvering around the branches and vines proved to be quite a challenge.

I was losing the battle, but Hiei was calling me - he was reaching for me through the darkness - when had he ever _reached_ for me? But I knew those eyes, deep garnet and a spot of violet in the night. I felt a sense of urgency - I should be making better time. I shoved hard against a wall of moss, and I swear it weighed a hundred pounds, but it moved out of the way. My steps were heavy, but I was approaching the heart of the woods where Hiei was waiting. It was very important.

_Onna._

I heard the voice behind me, and a warm hand rested on my shoulder. I blinked heavy eyes, and realized with a start that I was in the living room of my suite in Gandara.

"Onna?" The voice was clearer now that I wasn't in the forest. It was the middle of the night, and I was in Gandara. I was standing in the living room. It was the middle of the night. Why was I awake? My mind kept processing he same facts over and over again without really understanding them.

"...yeah." I stumbled the word out, not really acknowledging the meaning of the word.

"What are you doing?" He was concerned, and rightly so. When had I gotten out of bed? I had never been a sleepwalker before. I didn't even _talk_ in my sleep.

"I... I don't know." I replied honestly. I turned to Hiei, and although I wanted to feel the same concern, I was still trembling on the edge of sleep.

The Jagan blinked open slowly, as sleepy as the rest of us. It glowed softly, and I could feel it whispering around in my head. He was in there a while.

"Hiei?" My voice broke the silence.

The violet glow faded, and Hiei took my hand, pulling me back to the bedroom. "Sleep. I'll watch over you."

* * *

A/N: So what's up with Aria? Is the stress getting to her? Gandara is certainly proving to be quite interesting.


	36. Chapter 36 - The Fire

A/N: Uuuuuuuuugh writing sucks sometimes. I know there's really awesome juicy stuff coming, but I have to write all the stuff that's boring now but makes that good stuff _great_. But UUUUUUUGuuugughghghgh.

Thank you so much for your patience!

* * *

I slept dreamlessly, thankfully. No more wandering around the suite in my dreams.

But I woke up alone.

I had that feeling that I had been fighting someone in my sleep; the sore muscles of flailing limbs wrapped in hot blankets. But somehow I knew that I slept without so much as rolling over.

_My kingdom for a cup of coffee_. Of all the things I missed about the human world, I ranked coffee quite high on my list. But as much as I missed coffee, I missed simplicity almost the most. What does that mean, you ask? Simplicity is waking up in the morning, rolling out of bed into your slippers, shuffling to the coffee maker (which started on a timer a few minutes ago), and sipping hot java while you fetch the newspaper. Said newspaper has the standard good news and bad, with a touch of drama and flair as needed, and comics to make life less stressful.

Simplicity is familiarity, mixed with a hefty dose of ease and comfort. Coffee rolls into work, rolls into lunch, rolls into dinner and evening TV and cuddle up with the dog.

But it was missing in my life. I missed mediocrity, for all its familiarity.

But as I walked around in the day, there was a dread in my step.

It might have been about the thought that was constantly circulating around my throbbing brain: _Is this it? Is today the day I die? _It was a very personal concern. I didn't feel confident sharing my dread with any of my companions; partially because they were only in this place with me to prevent such a situation. If I spoke about my fear, it would seem too much like I doubted their ability to protect me.

I felt my humanity keenly in the Makai. Even Kuwabara seemed to be filled with an energy that would let him live forever- and the number of near death experiences he had managed to survive seemed only to serve as evidence to that energy.

I felt helpless, and heavy. I wanted it to be over- no more worry, no more fear. Let it stop.

But I could feel a little ball of energy wrapped around my heart. It protected me from the worst of my fears, and melted the jabs of icy fear that threatened to consume me.

And it helped.

Hours after waking, I still longed for coffee. Maybe an iced latte, or even a frappuccino - whatever would help lower my body temperature from the near 103 degrees it felt like.

The heat of the forest was even more oppressive than I had mentally prepared myself for. As much as I wanted to be crawling in the sweltering heat in only a tank top and booty shorts, those aren't terribly fire-resistant. But, just given the number of protective layers I was wearing, it was tempting. But I was never one to forgo safety for comfort in fire hazardous situations.

It's especially hard for female firefighters- think of the extra layer we have to wear just to keep our boobs in place! I know at the end of a workout we tend to rip of that sports bra as fast as we are able, simply because it's so stifling.

But, some things are just necessary if you want to keep all of your skin intact. But whatever.

It was abundantly clear to me that these little fire-dandelions were crowding out the cool-loving indigenous flowers. They were hard to find - tiny blue flowers growing on thin vines, now almost exclusively higher in the canopy, which damaged the larger trees as well.

A traditional wildfire plan wouldn't work the same here as it did in Tourin - Gandara was a chilly place that was too warm because of an over-proliferation of a heat-producing plant. Where in the human world I would have a hard time telling leaders "just make it colder", it was an easy solution in the Makai.

The fire-dandelion didn't react well to being suddenly frozen in an ice cube, go figure. Once the plant was dead it could be safely removed, and - as Kurama told me - the little blue-flowered vine would soon happily grow in that cool, empty space.

I played around in my head with the incredulity of my ability to dictate change on a grand level - demons would change the way we viewed environmental disasters forever, if we could introduce them into the human world without them taking over the whole damn world.

But back to the subject of heat - it wasn't even the worst part of the forest. There were also bugs, which was new. I had assumed that - from the cold - traditional insects couldn't survive in Gandara. But the fire-dandelions changed that relationship as well. They were sort of a cross between a beetle and a dandelion, but lumpier. And uglier.

And _somehow_... these stupid motherfuckers were inexplicably attracted to me. I was like a bonfire for moths. This damn little dragonfly-like insect kept crawling up my leg. I would swing at it with a free ankle, but my range was limited by the fire-dandelions.

"I hate these things..." I muttered, wiggling my one foot in an attempt to convince it to take off and leave me alone. If they were smaller than chihuahuas I might not have been so bothered. But they were heavy, and they pinched at my skin.

But - in hindsight - I should have kept my gripes to myself. In hindsight, I shouldn't have maneuvered myself in among the fire dandelions.

Kuwabara, in his eternally gentlemanly fashion, charged up his Spirit Sword and lined up for a home-run swing. "Hold still - I'll get it!" He declared.

Kurama saw the danger in a second; "Kuwabara, _no!_" But it was too late - Kuwabara swung at the insect with his sword, and it slammed straight into a fire-dandelion two feet to the right of my head.

I dove as far to the left as I could - the insect's sharp wings cut the leaves open, and it spat that burning, sticky napalm sap in my direction. I felt it splatter on my shirt, and I scrambled for the buttons.

"Get her out - _now!" _I heard Kurama yell. Hands grabbed at my ankles, dragging me out of the underbrush as I fought with my shirt. Panic gripped at my throat and hindered my rapid movements; I gave up on the buttons and simply ripped the fire-resistant shirt open, popping buttons everywhere. As Kurama and Kuwabara dragged me out, I slid out of the shirt, suddenly grateful for the rough dirt and rocks scraping against my bare skin. My sports bra would be little protection against flames, but I really didn't want to stay in a shirt that was about to catch fire in about a second.

I heard the shrub I had been lying underneath catch fire in a sudden explosion. My shirt was somewhere in there, adding fuel. I turned to cover my head as it popped and flared, but that was apparently unnecessary. As soon as Kurama and Kuwabara had dragged me out of the underbrush, Hiei had placed himself between me and the rapidly growing fire.

And - _I swear_ \- Hiei just glared at the burning bush (ha ha, religious joke), and it snuffed out instantly.

In hindsight - the best decision made that morning was Hiei's; to come with us on the surveys instead of reconnaissance on the perimeter.

Kurama, Kuwabara and I sat in the dirt, sharing looks filled with the knowledge of the danger I had narrowly avoided.

"Are you alright?" Kurama finally asked.

"Surprisingly, yes." I replied, patting my torso as I checked for burns. Scratches and dirt, yes, but no napalm burns.

"Yeah, that was a close one!" Kuwabara laughed nervously.

Laser beams swiveled over my head, and locked on Kuwabara's nervous face. Well, maybe not laser beams, but I know Kuwabara wished that it had been lasers instead of Hiei's crazy-eyed stare. I couldn't see him, but Kuwabara's sudden flop-sweat was a good sign of his homicidal intent.

Hiei's voice was quite calm. "Has your last lonely brain cell finally died?"

"Uhh..." Kuwabara stammered.

"It was an accident, Hiei." Kurama said soothingly.

"What part of that seemed _accidental_?" Came the scarily-calm voice of Hiei again over my shoulder. I craned my neck backwards so that I could look directly at my homicidal maniac - albeit upside-down.

"Hey-" I interjected. "Can I borrow your cloak? I seem to be without a shirt."

He blinked, turning a now familiar and stoic stare on me. We shared a look - mine quite calm, his of confused interrupted fury - before he tugged off the familiar cloak, and tossed it to me.

"Thanks darlin'."

And just like that, the situation was diffused.

* * *

The rest of our day was tense. It was obvious that the forest was a powder-keg just waiting for a stray spark. We had to be much more careful about surveying plants anywhere in the vicinity of the dandelions. With Kurama's urging, I also tried to work faster. We were all in a desperately dangerous situation, and expedience would be key.

In Tourin, there had been a complex environment held in a somewhat stable state. In Gandara, we were surrounded by a few dozen species of cold-loving vines, shrubs, and trees, being overwhelmed by this damned little flower, and the bugs that followed.

But I was - to Kurama's great annoyance - determined to do a thorough report. It was a matter of pride that I not just hand Yomi a few short sheets of paper that said "freeze the bad plants and kill the bugs."

But we sped through the rest of the day without incident.

Dinner was a somber affair, although Kuwabara valiantly tried to better the mood by making bad jokes. Kurama and I laughed politely, but it did help a little.

When you think of the significant memories in your life, it usually starts just like any other moment. The moments that followed were a result of me putting on a little music from my phone to clean up to. My cell phone was, for all intents and purposes, useless in the Makai. However, I still really liked using it for playing music.

After dinner, I was inexplicably drawn to play a waltz - not my usual music selection, but not out of the ordinary. I shuffled through the room in time to the music, humming along a little.

"Hey, Aria - can I ask you a weird question?" Kuwabara asked, appearing at my elbow.

"Mmm?" I hummed.

"Uhh, well... could you teach me how to dance?" He wrung his hands, blushing fiercely. "I think it might be nice to surprise Yukina, but I don't really know how, and you did pretty well the other night, so-" I had to cut him off before he got going full-steam.

"Sure - is now ok?"

"Uhh-" He stammered.

"The waltz is easy – you only need to be able to count to three." I set my phone on the coffee table, and bumped up the volume. I took his hands, placing them appropriately.

"Now – you're supposed to lead; we are stepping in a box together, to a count of three."

"Count of three, got it." Kuwabara muttered, his face the picture of concentration.

"Ready?" I asked gently as a good start point in the song started to rise. I gave a little tug, leading the dance – backwards – for Kuwabara's waltz. "one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three…" I counted aloud, bobbing my head to the tempo, all to accentuate the flow for Kuwabara.

His eyes remained fixed down at our feet, and I let it continue for a moment before I directed him to look up. I bit my tongue as he proceeded to stomp all over my toes.

_Be patient; give it a few steps_… I repeated a few times in my head, before my toes got a little reprieve.

"Let the music move you – don't think too hard about the steps, but instead on letting the tempo move through you, _moving_ you so deeply that the only way you know how to express it is to dance." I instructed softly. That was my relationship with music, and thus my relationship with dance. I wasn't a spectacular dancer, but I was definitely enthusiastic. I had always hoped that my passion played across my face, and that it might distract people from the less-than-elegant movements of my feet.

"I think I get it…" Kuwabara murmured back. His eyes drifted to his feet with decreasing frequency, and he grew more comfortable as I pulled him into turns around the room, and for a moment he even started to lead.

"And now the most important lesson," Kurama offered, appearing at my elbow. "When to surrender a lady." Kuwabara looked confused, so Kurama clarified; "May I cut in?"

I was spun away, twirled almost to the point of nausea as one waltz ended and another song began. Kurama was much more skilled than I, and added more turns and additional dips and steps than I was comfortable executing on my own. On the other hand, he was also a strong lead, and by allowing myself to be led completely, my ineptitude was masked quite well.

I was quite enjoying the effortless dance, and without warning Kurama spun me quite dramatically, releasing my hand. I almost lost my balance when I was caught at the height of my spin, and pulled flush against a rigid form.

_Hello, lover._ My mind whispered.

We took the first step of our dance, hands locking in standard form, and the song abruptly ended.

My phone's battery had died.

Of all the rotten luck.

I gave Hiei a resigned smile. "Another time, then?"

He released my hand, and his arm slid from around my waist. "Hn."

Kuwabara grumbled something about a lesson cut short.

* * *

I couldn't settle in bed. I wasn't tossing or turning, but I just wasn't tired. I drummed my fingers lightly against the sheets, staring at the ceiling. I must have been sighing as well or something, because Hiei finally groaned in annoyance from the other side of the bed. "Go to sleep." He commanded.

I rolled over to face him. "Tell me something about you."

He opened one eye, and looked blearily at me. "I don't like unnecessary talking."

I propped myself up on my elbows, suddenly missing the old sensation of hair slipping from my shoulders. "That much I've gathered. C'mon, something I didn't know before now."

Hiei sighed – giving up on sleep, I'm sure – and opened both eyes fully, rolling onto his bac and stretching slightly. "Why?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "I just feel like I don't know much about you... and you know everything about me from having been in my head enough times." I wobbled my hand around vaguely. "You have a lot of secrets- and though I can accept that they're yours to keep- I sometimes feel like they're coming between us." I couldn't give a specific example, or even a reason as to why it was bothering me at that particular moment.

Hiei sighed again. "I will tell you what you need to know." He stated plainly.

I waited, but he didn't say more. "Well?" I poked him in the shoulder.

He growled lightly. "There's nothing you need to know right now."

I made a disgruntled noise. "Well... can I know something non-secretive?"

He was so quiet, that I thought he had ignored my request and just gone back to sleep. I huffed, and flopped back down onto my side, but noticed that his eyes were still open, staring at the ceiling.

"Hiei?" I asked gently.

His gaze didn't move. "I don't know what I want." He said very quietly.

I shuffled closer, putting my chin on his shoulder. He was warm, as always. "What do you mean?"

He took some time to gather his thoughts. "I've always had a greater goal- find the Koorime Island, find my sister... something." He sounded lost, or wistful.

I hummed deep in my throat, and wiggled my chin from side to side – it was a fun way to play around with Hiei's shoulder. "It sounds like you're in desperate need of some human philosophy lessons. As Ralph Waldo Emerson would say- life is a journey, not a destination."

He snorted in disdain. "It's ridiculous to set out on a journey without a destination."

I bit his shoulder in retaliation to his disdainful comment. "Ok, fine, what's the most pie-in-the-sky dream you have?"

"What?" Human euphemisms were not Hiei's forte, so I rephrased;"If you could have your one most amazing _whatever_, what would it be?"

He smirked. "King of the Makai."

_Cocky much? _"Ooookay. Well, then that's what we'll do." I said decisively.

"You're ridiculous." Hiei stated plainly.

I poked him in the ribs. "And if you never _try_, it _definitely_ won't happen." I snuggled down next to him, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, cocooning me in heat. I smiled, whispering quietly. "Just a little bit of work each day, one more step towards what you want, but remember to appreciate what you have in the moment. Because that's what really matters."

Hiei didn't answer me, and I let it slide. I closed my eyes, yawning lightly. "My King." I murmured, sleep heavy in my voice.

"You're ridiculous." The conviction in that reiteration was sorely lacking.

I did not truly dream, as you would typically define it. My sleep resembled swimming deep underwater, staring up at the surface. My ocean was a deep, familiar violet, and carried me comfortable along deep and subtle currents. Far, far above, I could see shapes moving above the surface. I couldn't make out if they were people, or animals, or even planes flying even further above. But something was there.

I rose in the violet water column, gaining speed. Light and sound grew more intense, a rushing, breaking sound, and I felt my fingers touch air as the water receded-

.

"Onna!"I was awoken by a rough shake, and a loud voice.

"Nnggg... wha?" I mumbled, disoriented. Such is the way of being awoken in the middle of the night from a deep sleep. The whole world felt turned upside down, and it was slowly righting itself. My brain really wanted the yelling person to stop yelling, though

"_Get up!" _Hiei yelled, yanking the blankets away.

"What is your _problem?_" I yelled in reply, intensely irritated. He grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the bed and half-carrying me across the room. I fought to pull my arm from his grasp, but he held firm.

"_Look._" He ordered, pointing out the window.

I finally got my – now sore – arm out of his grasp. I followed his gesture, and peered into the darkness. There were the glittering city lights of Gandara around us, and the edge of the forest, and-

"Oh, god…"

Deep in the forest of Gandara, and creeping in an ever-wider radius, a massive wildfire burned. Already hundreds of acres in size, I could see tiny flashes of light popping at the edges as it grew at amazing speed – exploding fire-dandelions led the charge on all sides. The fire roared high in the trees, swallowing giants that had stood for centuries.

It was the kind of wildfire that would swallow cities.

* * *

Please review! I hope to have the next chapter up within a week, but I'm currently packing my apartment for a move, sooooo... who knows! Reviews make chapters come faster!


	37. Chapter 37 - The War Comes Home

A/N: Dear readers, great things are coming.

And ooOOOoooh my goodness I just passed 100,000 words. What the _actual_ fuck. And you guys keep reading it!

* * *

Every Wildland firefighter understands the dangers of a fire that starts at night. To understand their fear, you need to understand the triangle of elements that create fire conditions: heat, fuel, and oxygen. Without any of those elements, the shape collapses, and so will the fire. Heat in wildfires is typically provided by either an outside heat source (matches, cigarettes, etc.), or the Sun. Fires that start at night tend to explode out of control with surprising speed, and then will really pick up once the sun rises.

It definitely doesn't help if they're fueled by excessively combustible plants filled with napalm sap.

It was for this reason that I found myself surrounded by an army of demons, many skilled with special abilities, all looking to me for direction.

Adrenaline is even better than coffee, let me tell you.

"Okay, I need all ice-manipulators here, plant-manipulators here, and fire-manipulators here!" I shouted, pointing in a wide arc. The soldiers moved with surprising speed, leaving me with eight ice-manipulators, three plant, and two fire.

"Okay – remaining, sound off; number and ability!"

There were a lot of abilities that weren't particularly helpful – electricity, a few healers, telepathy – but there were a few flyers and earth-movers. I didn't have the luxury of constructing perfect teams, so I had to settle for good enough.

"I need ice-manipulators divided into two teams, and one plant manipulator in each team. One plant manipulator is going with the fire demons." They shuffled again, and I had three teams in an instant. "Team one – start clockwise, Team two- counter-clockwise. Ice demons freeze the small fire-flowers _completely_, plant demons shrink them to seeds. Any questions?" The benefit of working with soldiers is their ability to rapidly digest commands. No questions arose. "Off you go!"

I turned to the remaining Third team. "You're going straight in – nothing fancy, just straight extinguishing. Plant-manipulator – any trees you can support and give the best chance of survival, do it. Shrink any of those fire-flowers, even if they're already burning. Questions?" I only gave them a moment to ask, before I sent them out with a "Don't die."

I had only sent out thirteen demons so far. Kurama, Kuwabara, and Hiei were not among them. They stood intimidatingly behind me, just waiting for anyone to question a command. So far, so good.

"Flyers – I need eyes and messengers – two flyers to report back, and the rest to keep an eye out for any side expanding faster, or if there are any spot fires." They nodded, and took off without my having to ask if they had questions.

"Earth-movers and anyone who works with water – you're headed into the fire as well. Make a mud slurry and coat the fire, make sure it isn't smoking before you move on. _Take your time_, this isn't a fast job. Start right at the edge, and move in a tightening spiral towards the heart." I traced the shape in the air, and they nodded in understanding. "Go – and don't die."

They ran towards the fire, and I paused, drumming my fingers against my leg. I had a lot of not particularly helpful abilities remaining, and about forty demons.

"Listen up!" They snapped to attention. "Healers are staying here, at the command station. Everyone else, I'm really sorry but you drew the short end of the stick." I gestured to the pile of gardening tools that had been produced from a very dusty closet somewhere. "You're taking these tools, and you're going to follow the earth-movers' slurry spiral, and widen it by hand. I want four teams, two on either side of the slurry spiral. Dig side-by-side, to widen the slurry spiral by at least fifteen feet on each side. When the first two teams have dug for fifteen minutes, you'll be relieved by the second team. You'll switch every hundred feet, so the work never stops, and no one tires out too quickly. Got it?"

I was gambling. I was gambling that the slurry would decrease the power of the fire enough for more demons to follow behind and physically bury the fire. I really hoped it worked.

Without question, the soldiers picked up their tools, and ran after the earth-movers.

I was left at the command center – a glorified clearing at the edge of the woods – with the healers, and my own people. I knew a lot of protests would follow my next commands.

But it had to be done. "Hiei, Kurama. I need you to go in as well."

"_Fuck _no." Hiei declared furiously.

Kurama's approach was a little more subtle. "This is certainly not an ordinary fire, you know that. This could possibly be Taisho's work – we _cannot_ leave you unguarded."

"I'm not unguarded," I shot back instantly. "I have Kuwabara. This is important, and I need you to focus all of your energy on this fire."

I spun quickly, pointing at Hiei right as he opened his mouth to argue. "_Don't argue!_"

His eyes almost blazed with fury. "You are _asking_ us to-"

I cut him off. "I'm _asking_ you to help me stop this fire! Full stop – _end of request_! This is _exactly_ what I came here to do, and I'm _not_ going to let this city burn if I have to throw my _own body on the last burning branch!_" My voice elevated to a scream as I struggled to explain myself.

Hiei and I locked in an intense glare/staring contest. The air between us almost caught fire.

"You stay _right fucking here_." He hissed. "Here. _Safe, _with the buffoon." I opened my mouth to assure him I would, but he cut me off. "_I know you_. You are _foolish_ and prone to sacrificing your life for other foolish people."

He was absolutely right. I had seen one of the soldiers – a shorter, thin demon – go with the teams that would be digging by hand. I didn't think that they would last long under the pressure of digging so fiercely for so long under the beating flames. I had fully intended to run in and take their place as soon as Hiei was out of sight.

"I will stay here. With Kuwabara." It was viscerally painful to say it. I had never just stood on the sidelines of a fire, letting others risk their lives.

"_Promise _me." Hiei demanded, his face close to mine.

"Hiei-" Kurama put a hand on his shoulder, but Hiei shook it off roughly, never breaking eye contact.

"_Aria._" He never used my name, and it surprised me.

"I promise." And the oath was sealed.

Hiei maintained our locked gaze for only a moment longer. He turned to glance at Kurama. "Let's go." He didn't give me a second glance. Hiei vanished in a flicker of black. Kurama nodded to Kuwabara, then to me. And then he ran towards the fire.

And we were alone.

* * *

Staying at the command center was pure torture. Every so often a flyer would drop in and tell me about the status of the fire. Someone even managed to rustle up something not completely unlike walkie-talkies, so they didn't even need to come down to report in.

I could see the monster, but not draw my sword to fight it.

Reports trickled in slowly – painfully so. The flyers were certain that the fire was decreasing in both size and strength. My imagination was the provider of much of my torture, simply because of the lack of information pertaining to anything other than fire and things on fire.

"_Body down."_ My almost-radio cried. I scrambled at the buttons, still not completely comfortable operating the thing.

"Where?" I demanded.

There was agonizing silence before it squawked a reply._"On the spiral, one of the team members digging by hand. Something exploded right next to him – they're not sure what. Should we bring the body out?"_

I pondered the choice. Carrying out a body took time, and at least one person would have to leave the line to carry him. "Yes – have the line send out anyone who's almost ready to collapse, as well."

"_You got it._" The flyer confirmed.

It took more than an hour for them to make it back to command. Six demons came back, not including the dead body. A larger, juggernaut-esque demon was carrying the dead body in his arms, and another demon was thrown across his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

"We lost another?" I asked as he walked by, towards the healers.

The juggernaut gave me a comforting grin. "No – he collapsed on the way back, but he's still alive. It was good that you pulled the weaker ones when you did."

It was a cold comfort. I should have pulled smaller, weaker demons as soon as the fire had started to diminish in size and power. The initial attack had succeeded, and now it was a matter of time until the repeated efforts by very powerful demons won the flaming war.

But I was on the sidelines. With a radio. Directing what to do with a dead body.

Many thoughts flitted through my head; the majority of which would sound totally nuts to your average Joe. Firefighters and policemen and soldiers are all sort of alike. How, you ask? Well, sonny, let me tell you.

We _hate_ being stuck on the sidelines. We will hide injuries, illness, and other trauma to avoid being stuck at a desk while our friends risk their lives. While each of us knows that there's no shame in a man with a broken leg sitting it out for a while, we never want to _be_ that guy. There's almost a fear of being left behind – not in the glory, but in the defeat. We live, breathe, and _die_ for our work. We bond with our team, or unit, or platoon stronger than any friend or family. There's a reason a lot of cops and soldiers have divorces.

But the point I'm trying to get to is that we are intensely afraid of our friends dying in a fire when we could have been there to change the outcome. And – if we couldn't do anything to change it – we would want to be there beside them, going out with a fight.

I would rather have chewed off my own arm than stood at command for the fire. Command is for old decrepit men who have somehow managed to survive a hundred fires that really should have killed them. They're also the ones whose friends have mostly all died.

"Can I get a report?" I called into the radio.

"_We've got full containment, all the way around. The spiral's helped cut a lot of height from the center of it. Flames look under five feet, all over." _He radio hadn't even fallen into silence as I heaved a giant sigh of relief. That was excellent news.

"Ok – pull back everyone from the spiral. Edge crews and the center crew will break into pairs and position themselves around the perimeter, and just keep an eye on it."

"_You got it._" The flyer responded.

"So what does that mean?" Kuwabara asked from my left. He had been fairly silent for most of the night, letting me focus on my work, which I had appreciated.

"It means that Gandara isn't burning down tonight." I murmured.

* * *

It would take a considerable time for the teams to trickle back in. The spiral crews seemed almost dead on their feet, and shuffled like the walking dead. I was amazed – but somehow not surprised – by the number of significant burns on arms and legs of the crews. I could almost point out the order that the soldiers lined up to dig against the fire just by who had the worst burns. It also warmed my heart in an odd way – the largest, strongest demons had the worst burns, and the smaller demons had almost all been spared. To me, this could only mean that the larger demons had taken the brunt of the work and the heat by digging at the furthest edge of the dig line, allowing the smaller demons to work closer to the edge of the slurry spiral. It was touching.

The healers – who had been waiting around all night for something to do – were suddenly overwhelmed with work. At some point in the night a series of tents had been constructed behind me in the clearing. Weary soldiers, returning from a flaming war, collapsed onto cots as glowing hands were laid upon them.

The world moved in slow-motion around me. I was counting faces as they passed by, even though someone surely would have told me if any more had died on the line.

"Hey-" Kuwabara touched my shoulder, snapping me back. "This guy says he was sent to relieve you."

I blinked a few times to recover my senses, and glanced over. Yomi's little henchman, Yuda, was smirking up at me. At least I thought it was a smirk. Maybe that's just how his face looked.

"You know what you're doing?" I asked, reluctant to relinquish the radio.

He held out a shriveled hand. "I've watched my fair share of campfires burn to embers, child." I still hesitated.

"Hiei and Kurama aren't back yet." I tried to explain to Kuwabara.

"Knowing them, they'll be the last to leave the fire." Kuwabara huffed.

Out of excuses, I gave Yuda my radio. Kuwabara put a hand on my shoulder, and very gently started to lead me away. I walked slowly, for no good reason. I was stalling – picking out burnt faces and tired soldiers from the crowd of shuffling demons. A few nodded as we walked past – not out of reverence, but a mutual sense of respect.

Part of me wanted to stop, and make some sort of rousing speech about honor and sacrifice, but I was just too tired. I was tired down to my _soul_.

And so we left, in silence.

* * *

I don't think I slept much. I did a lot of staring at the walls, sitting on the edge of my bed. I hadn't bothered showering, or changing my clothes. I was just a little dirty around the edges, and smelled faintly of wood smoke. But I was completely paralyzed, and devoid of emotion.

I stayed like that for hours. Hiei and Kurama didn't come home in the wee hours of the morning that I was supposed to be catching up on sleep. I knew Kuwabara had slept fine – his snores pierced the walls with ease.

But the sun rose on my blank stare, sitting on the edge of the bed. I stood and faced the door, only because it felt like the next necessary action.

I stood in the room, staring at the door. I felt so alone, so horribly burdened with terrible purpose. I could open the door, but I was paralyzed. I didn't want comforting, or support. I just wanted to crumble and surrender.

I felt like I had failed. My purpose for being in Gandara was to prevent exactly what had happened. Where had I gone wrong? I honestly couldn't say.

So I stared at the door.

Honestly, it was a simple barrier. A piece of wood and metal that even small children can operate. But you had to have the energy. But I felt like someone had forgotten to wash the windows in my brain. It was foggy, and dull, and tired. I didn't want or need to look at the world outside - I knew it was gray and bleak.

The feeling drained me, made me heavy and sleepy. It rested on my shoulders with the weight of a lie, and threatened to choke the air out of me with the sheer weight of it.

I stepped back, sitting down again at the foot of the bed.

We are defined by the choices we make. So what does it say if we resist making a choice at all? And is that resistance to choose a choice in and of itself? It would have been appropriate to cry, really. But I didn't feel anything. I was hollow inside, and had been filled with white noise, buzzing around where my heart and kidneys should have been.

The door opened, and Kuwabara poked his head inside.

"Oh good, you're awake – there's someone at the door for you."

"I'll be right there." I answered, my mouth moving of its own accord. With mechanized practice I stood from the bed, and took steps forward. It was hard, but I walked into the light.

Kuwabara was standing next to the open suite door, arms crossed, looking intimidating and serious. In the doorway stood a tiny demoness – mostly human-looking, with no scales or fur or horns that I could see – standing in a kimono, staring demurely at the ground.

"Can I help you?" I asked as I approached the door.

She bowed shortly. "My Lord Yomi requests the pleasure of your presence in his residence, immediately."

Kuwabara and I exchanged a look. Kurama and Hiei weren't back yet, so we would have to go alone. That seemed dangerous, especially if Yomi was in a foul mood over the fire.

"Alright, we're following you." I sighed, not bothering to ask if I had time to change. From the tone of the 'invitation', 'immediately' strongly implied that I did not exactly have the leisure of a bubble bath followed by a long dressing period.

We hoped for the best.

* * *

It was odd, to say the least, to walk into the heart of Gandara and find a small, traditional Japanese dwelling, odd little rock garden and all. Yomi was such a military man, and so seemed to love his technology, I had just never pegged him for a traditionalist.

I was almost embarrassed to take off my shoes – dirt-caked as they were – and trod around his clean home in my sweaty socks. I couldn't smell much over the lingering smoke scent, and I hoped no one else could either.

We were led down a short hallway, and through a sliding rice-paper door into a common room. Actually, it was a lot like being back at Genkai's temple; a thought that sent a stab of homesick pain into my gut.

Yomi was already seated at the low table, just waiting for us. He was dressed far more casually than when we had met at the Gala, of course, but this seemed more like 'casual Sunday at home' than 'ruthless sociopath'. Or maybe I was projecting, I don't know.

He greeted me, and didn't bother with Kuwabara. "Aria."

Kuwabara and I sat slowly on the available cushions around the low table. "Lord Yomi, what can I do for you?" I asked, trying to keep the trepidation out of my voice, for all the good that it did.

I had been running over about a hundred different possibilities for how this meeting could go – exile from Gandara, his discovery of my secret, just killing me on the spot, killing Kuwabara on the spot – but I was unprepared for his true intentions.

Yomi smiled just a little bit. "I would like to offer you a token of my thanks."

The same tiny demoness appeared from seemingly nowhere, carrying what can only be described as an oversized cedar box. It was quite beautiful, at least three feet wide, a foot and a half deep, and less than a foot tall. She shuffled into the room, still mostly constricted by her kimono, but managed to carry a huge solid wood chest with ease. She set it down on the floor beside me, kneeling behind it.

It had a beautiful sheen to it – obviously crafted by someone skilled with woodwork. "My Lord, it's beautiful, thank you." I spoke reverently – both out of respect and genuine pleasure.

He chuckled bemusedly. "The gift is inside; that is a carry case to keep the dust away."

I blushed deeply. I rubbed my still-filthy hands against my lap, trying to clean off some of the forest dirt before touching the beautiful chest. Sensing my hesitation, the little demoness opened the lid of the 'carry chest', revealing my gift.

It was a coat.

No- it was the most beautiful memory of royal blue, somehow trapped into essence on fabric, and stitched into the shape of a coat. The high collar dipped down in the back to a wide hood, and the sleeves belled wide around the lower arm and wrist. The hem, hood, and cuffs were all trimmed in a short, pale tan fur that looked as cloud-like as a chinchilla.

"My Lord..." I was afraid to touch it with my dirty hands.

Yomi was indifferent to my reverence. For all he seemed to care he might just have presented me with a ball-point pen."I expect my forests to be quite cold in the near future. It would be a shame if you didn't return because you were not properly prepared for the climate." It was almost… kind? My brain broke, I swear. "I give this gift freely, with honor and courtesy, without expectation of favor or return." He closed, and sat silent, waiting for my answer.

"Thank you." I said quietly. We had reached a peace, and it was good.

Yomi stood from the table, and I matched his motion. "It seems clear to me what work needs to be done in the forest. There is no need for you to continue your surveys – whatever information you have gathered to this point will be sufficient."

I was disappointed, but I wasn't about to argue. "Of course, My Lord. Thank you for allowing me to see Gandara."

"I will have the coat sent to Tourin – your final destination, I assume." He paused, almost as if to say more, but closed only with "For when we meet again, Aria."

And he left without a word.

* * *

My dear readers, great things are coming in the next chapter. This I _promise_ you. Review, review, review, because the world is about to change.

Has anyone noticed that Aria and Hiei have never said "I love you"? Huh. Weird. :3


	38. Chapter 38 - Dead Man Walking

A/N: Okay Readers, here we go. I've been waiting to write this chapter for _months_, especially the ones that follow. You may have noticed, since they've been coming rather quickly now.

You all are being spoiled - don't get used to it.

On a side note – I'm really happy with the number of comments I've received about how much you all love reading about a genuinely human character – no special powers, no sudden transformation into a priestess/angel/half-something-or-other. Just a human, with an ability with a power to cause her great harm, with no benefit for her at all.

I say this because you have _no idea_ how tempting it has been to give her special powers. It's easier to write, sure, but that's not what I intended when I started writing. I wanted a story that people could empathize with – to understand Aria's conflicts and confusion, and accept her rationalizations for her decisions _because_ of our shared humanity.

As it is, this is incredibly important commentary for this chapter.

_**Are you ready?**_

* * *

Kuwabara and I had almost finished packing when Kurama and Hiei returned to the suite. They were absolutely filthy – soot and dirt was just caked on everywhere.

"What on earth happened to _you_?" I asked, trying to keep down a laugh. They hadn't been digging in the spiral, so they really had no business being that filthy.

Kurama sighed loudly as he sat heavily on our sofa. Hiei seemed indifferent to both his filthy clothes and Kurama's exhaustion.

"Forgive us for not returning earlier – Hiei was assisting me in confirming our suspicions." Kurama supplied, reaching into his pocket. He withdrew a balled-up handkerchief, which he proceeded to unwrap on the coffee table. I heard a faint _clink-clink_ from within, and knew what was inside before I even saw it.

"You found a broken seashell." I interrupted Kurama's unwrapping. His mouth set into a hard line, and confirmed my suspicions by revealing the tiny fragments of a seashell.

He nodded briefly. "Yes. Just as with Taisho's henchman, Ghee, back at Genkai's temple. I suspect either Taisho himself or a new subordinate used it to create an escape portal after they set the fire last night." That information hung in the air for a time, quiet and alone.

"I don't get it – why would he just set a fire and then run away?" Kuwabara exclaimed. "Seems like a stupid way to get our attention."

"But it did get our attention." I replied. "We just don't know what he intended to do afterward. Or if he even planned to do anything in particular. This may have been to frighten us, or to make us stay in Gandara, or to make us leave." I mused, running my hands over my face. I was too tired for this crap. "We have no real way of knowing if our next actions are exactly what Taisho wants us to do."

The tense silence returned.

"I understand Yomi has released you from finishing the survey?" Kurama asked abruptly.

My brain struggled to switch from one topic to another, and just managed the leap. "Yes – how did you know?"

Kurama waved it off. "We spoke briefly as Hiei and I were returning." He drummed his fingers on his armrest. "We should leave as swiftly as we are able."

* * *

We left within the hour. We said no goodbyes, leaving only a brief note for Yomi, thanking him for his hospitality. We set an ambitious pace for ourselves, considering we had a rather long hike ahead of us to Alaric.

But we were only a few hours out of Gandara, past the charred forest, and deep into chillier woods, when our group stopped abruptly – Kurama and Hiei instantly drew weapons, turning and falling into fighting stances.

"What? What is it?" I whispered.

A familiar demoness emerged from the trees. It was the same kimono-clad demoness who had brought Kuwabara and myself to Yomi's home, and presented me with his gift. "It's ok – I know her." I reassured them, and they put their weapons away, albeit slowly.

She bowed. "Kurama-san, Kuwabara-san; Lord Yomi requests your presence, immediately."

Kurama's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "We just spoke with the Lord this morning– what is so urgent?"

She bowed again "I'm sorry, I do not know; I was just sent to retrieve you both from the forest." She waited patiently.

Kurama turned to speak in hushes tones. "This is highly suspicious, as I'm sure you're aware. But we can't afford to ignore a direct invitation."

"But why you _and _Kuwabara?" I whispered back. Kurama's mouth set in a firm line.

"I have no idea…" He shot Hiei a meaningful look, and he nodded.

They left us in the woods, departing with the well-dressed demoness. So it was just me and Hiei, standing with all of our stuff, twiddling our thumbs.

We stood in silence. I sort of thought about asking him about the fire, or about his awful mood. I thought about asking him a lot of things.

But instead of asking him about anything personal, my mind kept jumping back to the demoness. Something was bothering me. I hummed, and Hiei looked at me oddly.

"What?" His tone was curt; annoyed.

"Nothing – it's just…" I wobbled on my feet a little. "She ran a long way in a kimono…" I mused aloud.

Hiei's eyes snapped away from our gaze. He stared intensely into the underbrush – obviously having sensed something amiss.

"Hiei? What-"

There was a flicker of motion behind Hiei, his eyes opened wide in shock, and his lips parted slightly in a faint gasp of pain. It grew from his chest with a stunning speed, and without a visible physical trauma. Our eyes drifted down together, and shared the same look of horror, I'm sure.

_Heart-Seeker's glass._

I didn't have time to think. Hiei sank to his knees, and I caught him swiftly, holding his limp body against mine. His eyes flickered with pain, confusion, and a little fear. I tried to grab for the blade, but my hands moved uselessly through it. _It only interacts with demonic energy_, my memory provided.

Panic rose in my throat, and my hands started to shake as I tried over and over to grasp the strange blade. It was so strange to see a blade protruding from Hiei's chest, not to mention the fact that it wasn't accompanied by blood, or punctured organs.

_There should be a handle_, I realized, and was flooded with a sudden hope. I ran my hands over his back, and faintly touched the wooden handle-

I was grasped firmly by the hair, and yanked across the ground and away from Hiei, who collapsed. I yelped in pain, feeling like someone was trying to scalp me, I grabbed at the hand holding my hair as I was dragged, trying to either get it to release me or take the pressure off my hair.

My sudden attacker threw me roughly, and I landed hard on the ground, rolling a few times before sliding to a stop. I had to remember how to breathe for a moment.

Heavy footsteps stopped before me, and a heavy boot tapped on my ribs with unexpected delicacy. "We meet at last, little mouse. Have you enjoyed my game?"

I rolled slightly, squinting up against the light.

"Taisho." I coughed. He squatted down in front of me, and I was able to see his face, in person, for the first time.

He looked exactly like his picture from Spirit World, that I had seen so many months ago on the television at Genkai's temple. His brown hair mussed somewhat wildly around huge, twisting ram's horns protruding from the sides of his head. Bright, sharp, cherry eyes were wide, gleeful, and fixed upon my face. His mouth was split into a maniacal grin, revealing sharp canine teeth.

He addressed me as one might talk to an old friend. "I've missed you, my little mouse. How have you fared?"

I was completely at a loss for words. It seemed useless to try to run from my vulnerable position, and even more useless to try to attack him. I knew that almost any demon would be capable of snapping my neck with their bare hands and very little effort.

"What do you want?" I finally asked.

His grin grew wider, though I didn't think it possible. He grasped my jaw, jerking it upwards uncomfortably to face him directly. "Why, I put so much time and energy into this body of yours; I've come to collect."

My body moved of its own accord – forcing me to at least _attempt_ to scramble to my feet. I was trying to get back to Hiei, I think. An unreasonably hopeful part of my brain thought that I could beat a demon's speed, in enough time to pull a horrible dagger from my lover's back, and he would recover quickly enough to defeat Taisho.

I didn't get far. Taisho seized me by the hair again, and I nearly got whiplash. I cried out in pain as he lifted me bodily by only my hair, until I was almost standing. He hissed savagely into my ear. "I _will_ kill you, my darling. That much is inevitable. The only question that remains is how much collateral damage you will leave in your wake?"

That stopped my struggling. "What do you mean?" I didn't want to know, I really didn't want to know – but I already knew. Taisho just confirmed it.

He tilted his head slightly to one side, still smiling. "If you run, I will kill him." He jerked his head towards Hiei's still form. "It wouldn't change much. Your run, I kill him, and I _will_ catch you again, and then I will kill _you_."

"_But_." He stopped for dramatic effect, and I barely breathed. "If you come with me now, he will live."

I turned slowly, my limbs suddenly weighed down by lead. Hiei was lying on the ground with a demonic knife stuck in his back. He stirred ever so slightly, enough for me to see his eyes – fixed on mine. They were hazy with pain, but aware.

_Run!_ He cried in my head.

But I couldn't.

.

_I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,_  
_or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off._

.

Dear Hero – why do you tell the damsel to run when you know the choices that lay before her?

"Do you know how easy it is to kill a Demon with Heart-Seeker's glass?" Taisho whispered quietly.

"No." I replied honestly.

.  
_I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,_  
_in secret, between the shadow and the soul._

.

He chuckled darkly, with pleasure. "All I have to do is twist a circle around his heart. It won't take but a second to complete. He'll never get up again, just dead in an instant."

.  
_I love you as the plant that never blooms_  
_but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;_

.

I could feel tears streaming quietly down my face.

"Can I say goodbye?" I choked.

He sneered. "No."

.  
_thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,_  
_risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body._  
.

Taisho withdrew a familiar shell from his pocket, and threw it against a tree. In a howl of wind there was a portal behind me. Death beckoned.

.  
_I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where._

.

Hiei looked angry, confused, hurt. I felt my heart break at the agony in his eyes. It wasn't just the sword in his chest, it was my choice. A small sob finally choked its way out of my mouth.

.  
_I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;_

.

It was always going to end like this.

.  
_so I love you because I know no other way_

.

"I'm sorry. I love you." It was the first time I said it. I could only hope that he heard me.

.

_than this: where I does not exist, nor you,_

.

Hiei started to try to move - I could see him shaking all over, fighting the power of the Glass.

"Time to go." Taisho seized me by the arm, pulling me through the Portal.

.  
_so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,_

.

I tried to fight it – I had changed my mind. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to die. But if I stayed, Hiei died. If I stayed, I died. If I went, I died. Death, everywhere.

So I went, to keep one life.

.  
_so close that your eyes close _

.

As the last of the portal closed and winked out of existence behind me, I heard a roar of fury, and felt a rush of burning heat.

.

.

_as I fall asleep._

.

.

.

* * *

There was an earth-shaking howl.

It started as a rumble, which somehow grew in volume until it was joined by a chorus of screeching whines that sounded not unlike sirens. I could hear air rushing past me on all sides, and the duet of rumbling, groaning moans and sirens was joined by the sound and sensation of rapidly moving air.

They fed off each other, each sound growing louder as one threatened to create an independent solo in the cacophony of deafening noise.

My eardrums flexed painfully in their tiny space from the sheer pressure of the noise. I wished they would just burst so the agony of sound would end- one sharp pop and it would all be over.

No such luck.

We emerged from the most heinous portal experience of my life at a strangely accelerated speed. I stumbled on the loose substrate under my feet – a rocky, uneven shore – and nearly fell on my face. We were on an unfamiliar coastline. Ragged waves beat at a rocky shore, and high cliffs rose above us. The shore was littered with familiar seashells.

I didn't have much time to process what would otherwise have been a beautiful scene, as Taisho took my arm – almost gently – and led me towards a cave in the cliff. "Come, my darling. We don't have too much time before the tide comes in."

I walked, though in reality I should have just crumpled to the ground and made him carry me, or drag me, or _something_. Anything. But why fight it? I didn't have anywhere to run.

We left warm, comforting sunshine and salt spray for the inside of a cold, dark, and dank cave. We walked for a time in near-total darkness, and I was oddly reminded of the cave where I had met the Architect – the spider-legged demon who had built a copy of my body for Taisho.

Taisho started humming to himself – he seemed genuinely pleased with himself.

The tunnel opened into a wide, well-lit cavern. About a thousand candles were lit and placed on every horizontal surface, wax dripping down the walls until they were nearly painted with the substance. It was warm, and the room smelled faintly of Jasmine.

A familiar tiny figure with corn-silk hair and large, too-pale eyes was waiting for us.

"You remember Mishka, Aria?" Taisho introduced. She bowed lightly, hair slipping over her shoulders. "She has a robe for you, if you would kindly change behind the little curtain, there." He gestured to a little privacy curtain in a far corner of the cave. I would have laughed at the absurdity of I hadn't been so casually walking towards my death.

The robe was quite soft. As good as any garment to die in, I supposed. I was a little uncomfortable with the fact that I wasn't to wear anything under it, but I had larger concerns, I supposed.

"Can I keep these?" I asked, my fingers brushing against the translation charm earrings. I treated them like a token of the life I had surrendered. Mishka brought her face quite close to the earrings.

"I don't see why not. They shouldn't disrupt anything." She shrugged, and I was relieved. It wasn't like I had some miracle plot to use them to break free; I just wanted to keep them. Just for a little longer.

Mishka led me back around the curtain. There was a large stone basin set into the center of the floor of the cavern. It was filled with a liquid that looked for all the world like water, but I knew it wasn't.

"If you would, please." Mishka gestured to shallow steps set into the basin. It was essentially the size of a large Jacuzzi; deep enough for me to lie down without drowning myself, but most of my body would be submerged.

I complied – the liquid wasn't as cold as I was worried it might be. It was essentially tepid bathwater. The toxin tingled lightly on my skin, and my heartrate jumped.

Mishka held my head as I leaned back into the water, cradling my scalp so I wouldn't bruise against the stone. She knelt beside me , a hand gently – but firmly – on my shoulder.

Taisho plopped down onto the ground right next to my head. He started running his fingers through my hair, and it made me shudder with disgust. He grinned. "I had so hoped they would find a way to remove my energy. Such things are unfortunately beyond me, and you were quite useless with all that demon energy swimming around with your delightfully rare spirit energy."

"Fuck you." I spat, the last flare of anger coming to light at the end of a bright life. "I hope Hiei burns you alive."

He barked with laughter. "Hardly. My barriers are impenetrable."

"I'm beginning to think that's all you can do – make barriers and play with people's minds. Maybe even _that_ was _bought_. How many women have you killed, huh? Five? Twenty? A hundred? How much money have you made from our bodies?" He slapped me hard across the face, and my cheek cracked against the stone basin. I'm pretty sure he broke something in my face.

"You know _nothing_." He snarled. "And it's such a shame we don't have more time to chat." He turned angry eyes to Mishka. "Take it all."

* * *

Review! Review review review!


	39. Chapter 39 - I Carry Your Heart With Me

A/N: _This is it_. I wrote a lot of this chapter back in _December_, when I first started writing this story. A lot of it was been re-written, but obviously I've been waiting to put this one out for a while.

I hope e.e. cummings will forgive me for changing her poem just a tad. All the words are the same, but the lines have been broken up a little differently. The poem's title is this chapter's title.

I hope you enjoy. Though if you enjoy this you might be a psychopath.

* * *

"Take it all." Taisho commanded.

Mishka stared at me with her large, pale eyes. "Let me wash away your sorrow." She raised a hand, and with delicate pointed fingers slowly lowered her palm onto my head.

.

_I carry your heart with me_

.

On contact, a strange sensation began to flow over me. My heart felt as though it was expanding, almost breathing in new life. A great weight lifted from my shoulders, and I felt – through its absence – what terrible pain had left me. I was euphoric, and filled with a joy that made me sob.

She was saying soothing things, and my eyes were closing to half-lidded. I slid down in the pool until the tip of my nose just kissed the still waters.

"Are you ready, Aria Liliane Sauveterre?" She said my name with such tenderness. Her hand was on my forehead, washing away my pain, my regret, and my sadness. I nodded, and her hand dipped into the water to grasp at my wrist.

.

_(I carry it in my heart)_

.

She produced a white-steel knife, thin as a letter-opener, sharp as wit. With terrible agony she cut into the flesh of my inner arm; a long cut running the length from my wrist to my elbow. But her hand on my wrist worked against that pain – it felt like only whispers against my peaceful body.

My eyes batted dreamily, and I could see my life's blood pouring into the basin. As each drop touched the water it crystallized into a glowing stone, sinking beneath the still surface to rest against the bottom of the basin.

.

_I am never without it_

.

I giggled lightly, high on whatever wonderful aura Mishka was wrapping around me. I was warm, and happy, and overall quite peaceful. My mind drifted of its own accord. I had been wrapped in the world that was Mishka, but my mind remembered a different peace – one with warm hands, deep garnet eyes, and a subtle wit.

I started to panic a little – I wasn't supposed to be here, I didn't want to be in this basin, I was supposed to be with warm-hands-garnet-eyes. But Mishka moved her hand a little, and I was washed again in only Mishka.

_._

_(anywhere I go you go,my dear;and whatever is done_

_by only me is your doing,my darling)_

.

I was fading. The crystals were getting smaller, and coming more slowly. How was I still aware of what was happening? As soon as the worry came into my mind, it was washed away by Mishka's energy. Somehow, she was keeping me alive as she bled me dry. I didn't need to worry – Mishka would keep me safe.

The bleeding had all but stopped. Mishka slowly dragged her hand up my arm to let it rest on my shoulder. She gently tugged open the top of my robe, exposing my magnolia tattoo protectively unfurled over my breastbone.

.

_I fear no fate_

.

"It's almost all over, Aria Liliane Sauveterre. No more worries, only eternal bliss and peace." She raised the white steel dagger, and plunged it with a loving smile into my chest. Her hands washed away the pain that I never felt, even as she carved around my heart. Her hand slipped inside my chest, and those delicate fingers tightened around my heart. I felt a tiny tingle of warmth – the last bastion of protectiveness from a source I couldn't vicious force she tore it from my chest, and she was touching me no more.

All the pain and agony and fear came crashing in like a tidal wave. I was drowning, gasping, and shaking. My body shook, but only weakly. My muscles and organs cried out for blood, for air, for nutrients. How had I gotten here? My brain was fuzzy, and the lights seemed to flare and dim around me.

Mishka dipped my heart into the pool, and it instantly crystallized – a huge, glowing, loving crystal in her hands.

.

_(for you are my fate,my sweet)_

_._

The agony slipped away, along with my consciousness. In my fading view I saw Mishka's tiny form leaning over my heart, and her arched lips kissing the crystal of my heart as she whispered softly to it.

"What a wild heart…"

And then there was nothing.

* * *

I lacked substance, and that creeped me the hell out. I was sitting on the stone basin, my feet kicking the water without moving a drop. I wasn't as nearly-naked as my dead body, but instead I was back in my black slacks and white flowy blouse that had appeared when I first came to Japan.

Weird.

With ghostly hands I tenderly touched my ghost-chest. There was no gaping hole like I could see in my corpse below. If I held up my hand next to the candles in the room, I could see a little light through my body.

Dead.

_Again_.

I wondered how long I had been dead. I didn't have any way of measuring time, and the air inside the cavern hardly seemed to move. Most of the candles had burned all the way down, snuffing themselves out in the pools of wax. But a few little lights still held on, providing a small, intimate light.

I wondered if I was doomed to stay here forever. Would someone come and collect my soul? What about my body?

I walked around the cavern, arms crossed. It was a slow sort of saunter, and I took the time to better examine the cavern. I had been rushed along when I was still alive, so now seemed like the best opportunity. What else was I going to do?

I could hear the faint lapping of water in the tunnel to the ocean. The tide was coming in, but the waters hadn't reached the cavern yet. I wondered what would happen to my body when the water filled the cavern. Would it float away? Would I end up in the ocean, being nibbled away by little demon-world fish?

More candles went out, and the cavern got a little darker. Would I be sitting in the dark before the tide came in? Did that mean significantly more time had passed? How long had I been walking in circles?

I went around the room a few more times.

A few more candles went out.

The water came a little up the tunnel.

A few more candles went out. It got a little darker.

I sat down next to my corpse. At least I made a pretty corpse. I was porcelain pale, but I wished my lips had a little color to them.

I curled up against my own shoulder, trying hard not to pass through dead flesh – it was too disconcerting. It put me almost completely underwater, but that didn't really bother me. I sighed breathlessly.

I rose again from my basin, intent to do another turn around the cavern when I heard rapid footfalls approaching down the tunnel. I was filled with both hope and sadness as the four boys stepped into my tomb.

I was so accustomed to seeing these men relaxed, but focused, that their appearance gravely concerned me. Yusuke was with them – his body was covered in strange tribal-like tattoos, and his eyes seemed to have a subtle red glitter to them. Kurama's eyes kept flashing back and forth between green and gold, and he seemed to be on the knife's edge of control. Kuwabara looked more solemn than ever I'd seen him.

But my eyes were fixed on Hiei. He was positively bristling with fury. The air around him seemed to waver with a dry heat, and it surprised me that he wasn't causing those around him physical discomfort. Or maybe they were all bristling with the same amount of energy, each pushing and repelling the others' energies.

_Don't look, Hiei. _I thought, wishing he could hear me.

Hiei's three eyes scanned the room in the span of a moment, and his eyes fixed on my body in the basin. He vanished, and reappeared beside my body. I felt a strange sense of shame as his eyes drifted from the flayed flesh of my arm to the gaping void in my chest. He reached out with a steady hand, and swept a section of wet hair out of my face.

.

_i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)_

.

The others had caught up to Hiei. They did not stand at the edge of the basin with him, but rather slightly behind. I think they were afraid to look, for the finality of it.

"Is she…?" Kuwabara started. There wasn't a need to check for a pulse – hard to have one without a heart.

"She's dead." Hiei's voice was clipped as he ripped off his cloak. He draped it over my body in the water, and with great care he pulled me from the toxins of the pool. His black cloak clung to my wet skin, but offered a much better chance at modesty and respect than the soaked white robe. He laid me down with great tenderness, and for a moment I thought I might cry.

_and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant_

As I watched him stare coldly at my face, I could see the muscles in his jaw clench and unclench, and saw a tiny tremor in his hands. He touched my face lightly, withdrew his hand with a snap, but reached out again.

_Oh, Hiei…_I wanted desperately to know what he was thinking – to be able to reach across that mental bridge and touch his thoughts with mine.

.

_and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

.

Another candle burnt out, its faint _hiss_ the only sound in the cavern.

"What do we do now?" Kuwabara asked quietly. It wasn't so much a question, but a statement of disbelief.

Hiei slowly slid his hands under my back and knees. He lifted my dead body almost reverently into his arms. My head flopped, and I grimaced – it's weird to see yourself like that. He stood swiftly, my weight barely affecting his step.

But he turned, unexpectedly, to Kurama. "Take her." He commanded. Kurama's eyebrows almost shot all the way to his scalp. Without question, he accepted the dead body he was given. If you ever want to know if someone is a true friend, as them to hold a dead body for you.

Once Hiei was satisfied with my placement in Kurama's arms, he stepped back, putting some distance between us. "Take the fool, and get her to Mukuro." He commanded.

Kurama stood quite still. I could see he wanted to argue. I could see he wanted to stay, to help, to do something other than leave Hiei in that state. But he and I both knew that this wasn't a good time to argue with Hiei.

"Kuwabara." Kurama addressed him quickly, before he could protest. He shook his head very subtly, and he replied with a short nod. _Now is not the time._

"We'll keep her body safe." Kuwabara vowed. "You kick his ass, Hiei."

I waved goodbye to my body – talk about another truly strange experience. Kuwabara glanced back at Hiei and Yusuke a number of times. Kurama never looked back. I'm not sure what that says about either of them, but it was just something I noticed.

Hiei crouched, and picked up a tiny bloodstone from the floor of the cavern – it must have gotten caught in my robe, and shaken loose when Hiei picked me up. He rolled it once between his fingers, before tucking it in his pocket.

"What is it?" Yusuke asked, his voice revealing the rage just bubbling under the surface of his skin.

"The stones have her spirit energy." Hiei said sharply. "We can use it to track him." The Jagan glowed, and his head snapped to face the far wall of the cavern, where another tunnel led deep into the heart of the cave system.

And he was off like a shot – didn't wait for Yusuke, who took off a second or so after he realized Hiei was gone – I didn't think anything living could move that fast. But with a summoning of my will, I was flying beside Hiei as he ran. Cool ghost stuff, sucks being dead though.

The air around him rippled like water with the heat of his fury, and the rock walls glowed faintly in his wake. He moved with the fury of lightning.

"Hiei," I tried to call to him. "What is this all for? It's done, I'm dead."

I was worried for him – sure, I wanted vengeance, at least a little bit. But Hiei looked on the verge of becoming unhinged. He was so calm, but shaking all over. It barely read on his face, but I knew him better than that.

.

_here is the deepest secret nobody knows_

.

He burst into another, smaller cavern deeper in the cave system. The air around him sparked with embers, and the air itself seemed to be on the verge of igniting.

His gaze locked on a particular horned figure kneeling on the ground, fumbling with a sack in front of him. Taisho was rifling through it – I could only assume that it was full of bloodstones – in quite a panic.

Hiei didn't hesitate – in a cry of "_Dragon of the Darkness Flame!" _his right arm burst into deep flames, growing ever larger until it exploded from his hand, a giant flaming dragon rocketing across the room towards Taisho. I was in awe – I could feel the power, bare soul as I was. I could feel it tugging at me, even though I wasn't the target.

The dragon slammed against a barrier, which flared a bright cherry red in response. It coiled around, squeezing tightly, but the barrier held. It gnashed it's terrible teeth against the curved surface, but still it held. The dragon cried aloud, scraping at the little barrier with teeth and claw, to no avail.

It dissolved into thin air, unsatisfied in the hunt. I couldn't believe it – Taisho's shield was as strong as he had promised.

.

_(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud_

_and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;_

.

As Hiei drew his katana, Yusuke finally caught up. He sprang forward without waiting for him to say a word. He slashed at the barrier a few hundred times in only a second, to no avail. With his final furtive stab, the katana snapped, the blade spinning off into the darkness.

In either fury or frustration, Hiei just started punching the barrier over and over again. It must have been ringing on the inside like a bell, - not that the katana or even the _Dragon_ would have been quiet – because Taisho finally looked up. I could see panic in his eyes, but not because of Hiei. There was reddish-brown ooze spilling from the mouth of the sack he had been carrying.

.

_which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)_

.

Taisho stood swiftly pressed clenched fists against the inside of the barrier – his eyes were wide with panic and his voice on the verge of hysteria as he screamed. "_What did you do to my Bloodstones?"_

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Yusuke shouted back.

Without a physical body to impede me, I could just walk inside Taisho's barrier. The sack behind him was slowly being stained a deep, bloody red. Upon closer examination, I could see little lumps in the gelatinous ooze pouring from its mouth. As I watched, the lumps dissolved into the ooze, and it spread further inside the barrier.

.

_and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

.

Taisho was beating his hands against his own barrier, screaming. "I was so_ careful! _You removed _all _of my energy_ – what happened?! WHAT HAPPENED?!"_

And the pieces clicked into place.

I understood it all now, just a little too late.

Hiei reached slowly into his pocket, retrieving the bloodstone he had found on the cavern floor. He rolled it between his fingers, and with just a light amount of pressure _squished_ it into jelly. His hand shook violently.

"That's why you didn't just kill me as soon as you sewed my soul into a new body." I mumbled to myself.

Bloodstones are a spiritual trait, which had to be undiluted by demonic energy. When Taisho sewed me into the body, the amount of residual demonic energy prevented the crystals from holding their form.

So he had released me into the human world, and hoped that it would either fade, or someone could find a way to remove the energy.

As soon as his energy had been removed, he had tried to kidnap me, but was thwarted by my new friends. The test crystal I had made in the Spirit World had held, because it was pure.

.

_I carry your heart_

.

But then I had fallen for a fire demon, and he had marked me as his Lover. His mark had left just a little energy in my body, most of it living happily around my heart.

Taisho had been so focused on retrieving his prize that he had failed to notice the claim, or the energy.

I had died for _nothing_.

.

_(I carry it in my heart)_

.

.

.


	40. Chapter 40 - Quiet Conversation

A/N I know you all hate me, but wasn't the twist delicious? All that pain and suffering for no reason. Damn.

A number of you have left reviews wondering how/if Aria is coming back… any guesses? I'm curious what you'll come up with :)

* * *

It was hard to look at myself. I sat in the middle of the floor, cross-legged, twiddling my hands in my lap. I did this a lot when I wanted to avoid looking at people in general.

My body had been in surgery at Mukuro's walking bug fortress (freaky, by the way) for more than twelve hours, by my count. They had given me a new heart, and new lungs. Both were from demon 'volunteers'. There had been blood transfusions – don't know where they got those from. I suspect Kuwabara threatened to shove a needle into his own arm if a nurse didn't take it fast enough.

There was also a new twist I wasn't fond of; as soon as they got my new heart beating, I couldn't wander away from my body anymore. I wasn't stuck in the flesh, but I couldn't wander out of line-of-sight from the living corpse.

And believe me, I really tried to get back into my body once they got it working again. I would sort of float myself into the same space as my real body, and _will_ myself to be alive again. Nothing happened. I would feel the faintest tingle in my hands and toes, like a storm brewing miles and miles away, but nothing more.

I didn't do so well my first day. "_MOTHERFUCKER SONOFABITCH!_" was a frequent utterance. And by utterance, I mean screaming tantrum.

There were a lot of things that didn't make sense to me, one of them being the fact that none of the Spirit Guides had been sent to collect me yet. Or had they? Were they looking in the wrong place? Was I somehow a strange exception to the dead-person rules? Did the rules change because I was in the Makai?

I would spend hours screaming, hoping someone might hear me. I screamed for Botan and Koenma – anyone who supposedly worked with dead people.

But I always stopped screaming eventually. I never ran out of breath, or got a sore throat, or punctured a lung; I just got too tired. And that usually led to me sitting next to Hiei on the floor, crying.

Hiei didn't speak when he was in the room with me. Not for days. He just sat, staring at the tank. And I would sit with him, and stare at the tank.

I could tell Hiei was angry with everyone. He was angry with Yusuke, for negotiating Taisho's surrender to the Spirit Defense Force. He was angry with Kurama and Kuwabara, for following the demoness in Gandara. He was angry with me, for following Taisho. And in that anger, he sat in my little room, staring at my living corpse floating in Mukuro's tank, saying nothing.

Sometimes I was angry with him, too. I couldn't place why; it was a nebulous, retaliatory anger. So I would sit in the middle of the floor, staring at myself, willing my flesh to stitch back together cell by cell, and ignore the mourning man in the corner.

I was completely alone in a fortress full of people. Well, demons.

But I always stopped being angry. I always stopped screaming. I always stopped crying.

I sauntered across the floor, and sat next to Hiei, he was propped up against the wall, the remains of his broken katana cradled in his lap.

"Hey." I said.

He didn't hear me.

"You really should sleep. You look like shit." I leaned close to his face, staring into his slowly-blinking eyes. He hadn't slept since I had been plunked into that stupid tank like some stupid fucking goldfish. It had been more days than any human should ever stay awake. I didn't know how many hours a demon could stay awake before they lost their minds.

I sighed. "I don't think I ever really understood what you were attracted to in me. I knew that you _were_… but not really _why_." If I had a real body, I would have poked his face just to see him twitch. He didn't move at all anymore.

"But who _really_ understands attraction, anyway? Maybe some part of my brain just said 'hey, you and this guy will make great, strong, genetically diverse babies together.', and that was it. _Boom_ \- attraction." I mimicked an explosion with my hands, and flopped forward, resting my head on my thighs.

We sat in a silence unlike most; one person not speaking, one wishing upon every star that the other would speak.

"Hiei." He didn't turn, or move, but I know that he heard the new voice. Kurama's shadow stretched far across the floor. "You should rest, Hiei. The glass did a lot of damage to your energy reserves, and the Dragon only further drained them."

Hiei didn't reply. He just stared at the tank. Kurama stood beside him, following his gaze. They were alone together; lost in their thoughts.

I joined them – not that they noticed me – and we all stared together. It was a haunting reminder of mortality. I wondered what Hiei was thinking. I wondered what Kurama was thinking.

"There should be a manual for this. I'm just saying." I said aloud. No one laughed.

Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped by as well, which was a rare treat. I don't know what they spent most of their time doing in Alaric. Kurama greeted them quietly as they approached.

"Any sign of her?" He asked, which piqued my interest. Her? Her who?

Yusuke shoved his hands in his pocket and shook his head, sighing. "Nah, she's in the wind. Won't live much longer if she managed to sell it before it melted – whoever bought it is gonna be pretty pissed." He rocked back on his heels. "So how's she doing?" Yusuke asked, his voice reserved.

"Her vitals are improving, but no sign of brain acivity yet." Kurama responded, glancing at Hiei. The stone-faced man did not react to his words.

I had been growing steadily more concerned with Hiei's lack of emotion and reaction for several days, and I think Kurama shared that worry. He measured his words whenever he was in the tank room, watching Hiei for any adverse reaction. He and I were definitely on the same page, and – as it turned out – our fears were not unfounded.

"When is she gonna wake up?" Kuwabara sighed.

I felt bad for Kuwabara. He and Hiei had shared a rocky relationship for as long as they had known each other, and it was always confounded by poor timing or phrasing on the part of one of the other. Generally they handled it quite well, in the boyish roughhousing fashion (where Kuwabara would lunge at Hiei and completely miss). But these were not ordinary circumstances.

It seemed that was exactly the wrong thing to say. Without any warning to the those around him, Hiei snapped.

"She's dead! She's _never waking up!_" He suddenly yelled. His voice was hoarse, as though he had been screaming – as I had – for days.

Without a body, I couldn't feel the sudden spike in temperature, but I could definitely see it. The other three were pushed back by the sheer power of the heat, crossing arms over their faces to protect themselves.

Kurama tried to advance, still shielding his face "You don't know that! Give her more time to heal- you can't expect her to recover at the same rate as a demon!"

Hiei flickered to a sanding position – but just barely. He was hunched over, hands clawing at his face – no, his temples. He looked like he was trying to gouge memories from his brain. "I _killed_ her! I let him _take_ her!" They were the cries of a broken man.

The tanks that were closest to Hiei started to bubble and boil, and I gulped. I really didn't want to think about what's would happen if he got too close to my tank.

"Hiei, please..." Kurama stepped between Hiei and my tank, obviously thinking along the same lines. It was a good precaution, given Hiei's irrational state, but in that first step where Kurama placed his body between ours, he may as well have told Hiei that he was incapable of protecting me for all the rage it produced. His eyes were consumed by a fierce blue-violet glow, and something between a roar and a battle cry poured from his throat as he pounced on poor Kurama.

I had never really seen them fight before. Kurama was at a definite disadvantage, as he was both trying to keep Hiei from killing him, and not hurt Hiei excessively while attempting to restrain him. I could see flashes of fire and foliage as they clashed, but for the most part they moved far too quickly for me to see.

In a sharp explosion, Kurama flew through the air, crashing into the tank right next to mind, shattering it on impact. Yusuke and Kuwabara dove into the action, trying to help contain Hiei's juggernaut rampage. It amazed me that it actually took all three of them to contain him.

They dragged him from the room, still howling.

Sadly, sitting on the top of my tank, I waved goodbye.

Alone again.

* * *

It's hard to measure time when you're dead. Everything seems to be staying completely still while the world rockets out of control around you. For example, I know Kuwabara had been hurt by Hiei's outburst, but when he came back in alone to see me, he looked completely healed. He looked tired, though, right down to his soul.

He stood in front of my tank, hands shoved in his pockets, looking at the floor. "I've never seen the shrimp like that. It's scary."

"I know, darlin', I know." I replied quietly. He looked up, eyes scanning the room, as you do when you think you've heard your name at a crowded party.

"A long time ago when Yusuke was dead, I could tell when his ghost was hanging around – I got a really bad tickle feeling. You would think now that I'm stronger I'd be able to help you – but I just… can't! I don't know why! I _think_ you're here, but maybe I'm just crazy! It's like… it's like there's not _enough_ here for me to sense, but just enough to… _something!_" He started yelling in frustration, hands clenched tight into fists.

He pointed at my body in the tank with a strong sense of command. "You've got to wake up, you hear me? I know you were afraid, but that's all over now. You've got to do it for Hiei, so he can stop being like this, and you two can go off and start making lots of little Hieis and Arias, and..." His strong posture faded, and he sniffed a little, holding back emotions. "And things will stop being so unfair."

He crumpled a little, and slouched, staring at his shoes. "Why do shitty things always happen to nice people? It should've been me, or Kurama, or Urameshi- we can take it."

He started a long, slow walk back out of the room. He glanced back at me, with one final command: "You gotta wake up now."

And I was alone again.

I spent some time reading my chart – whatever page the last person had flipped to, anyway – and everyone seemed to be dancing around a larger issue – my new organs and old organs were being surprisingly cooperative, and healing well, but I was a complete vegetable otherwise. I wasn't breathing on my own, and I had failed reflex tests on numerous occasions.

I almost died (ha ha, dead person joke) when I realized someone was reading over my shoulder. Well, not so much reading over my shoulder as reading, occasionally thumbing through the ever-growing pile of paperwork.

Kurama was a semi-constant visitor this way. He would enter the room as silent as a shadow, thumb through the chart, and occasionally make a small sound. It was usually that small sound that alerted me to his presence at all. I made up a story in my head one time that Kurama was training to be a ninja, but gave it up to enter his prize-winning rose in a national competition.

I was bored.

But that day he didn't leave. He walked over to my tank, and stared for a while. I was sitting on top of the tank, feet swinging in nothing, staring back down at him.

"Hello, Aria." He greeted softly. I returned the greeting, not that he heard it.

He chuckled lightly to himself, running a hand through his hair nervously. "I must admit I feel quite silly speaking to you like this, but I hope you can hear me somehow. The situation is dire. Though you and Hiei were not formally pair-bonded, I fear he is as attached to you as if you had been fully mated." He sighed deeply, and seemed to lose a little height in the process. "I fear Hiei is losing himself."

He stared for a long time at my sleeping face. "I don't understand your decisions - whether to call it foolish, or selfish… or brave." His jaw tightened, and brow furrowed. "You've come back before. I hope you have enough will and fight left in you to do it again."

He left a rose at the foot of my tank.

Not long after Kurama left – within a few hours, probably, I had another solitary visitor. This one was not so subtle when he visited – he had a tendency to push the door open with his foot, and yell something like "_wakey wakey!_" when he knew Hiei wasn't in the room.

"Hey." Yusuke barked, marching straight over to the tank.

"What is this, confessional hour?" I asked aloud. It was sort of weird timing all around.

"You had better find your way back," he pointed at me demandingly. "I know you're not in Spirit World, because I was _just there_, because I was just gonna drag your ass back and punch it into your body if I had to but _you're not there_! No one knows where you are!"

Yusuke made quite a menacing figure when he was mad. I tried to imagine the ruckus he must have put up in the Spirit World. In my head I could see him opening every single door, even yanking drawers out of cabinets, all while Koenma and a small horde of ogres are fussing around him, trying to rescue precarious piles of paperwork. It made me giggle.

"But I think you're right here." Yusuke's blunt statement brought me back from daydreaming. "I know how hard it is to come back, even with lots of help it still took a while for me to get my shit together. But it's worth it, I promise you."

Yusuke looked for all the world to me like the wisest man I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. His hands were tucked into his jeans pockets, head tilted up ever so slightly to gaze upon my sleeping face. I could read the world in his eyes; tiring, and sad, but hopeful.

He smiled, and I could see the spark in his eyes that could light a fire in those who followed him, who believed in him, who loved him.

"It's time to come home."

* * *

A/N: It's a slightly shorter chapter, but good stuff going on! Review! Let me know your guesses for how this whole situation could end!


	41. Chapter 41 - Thread

A/N: I got some really interesting answers to my "what do you think will happen" question, which was quite entertaining, thank you! It also let me know that how she _does _do it will be a complete surprise. Enjoy!

BTW - I was so tempted to make you all wait like a week for this chapter, but since I finished it this morning I decided to just jump on it and post it!

It's time for a resurrection.

* * *

"It's time to come home." Yusuke declared, like it was just that simple. He turned to leave, but stopped mid-step. "Do you remember what I told you when you left Tourin? I said it so quietly, just to make sure no one else heard, that I was worried you might not hear it at all."

I did remember. It was the most un-Yusuke-like thing he had ever said to me. He had pulled me in for a hug before I got onto Puu's back. _Be strong_, he had said, _he loves you._

It was strange advice, and definitely had a lot of subtext I seemed to be missing. Or maybe Yusuke was just familiar with Keiko's frustrations with loving a demon.

"I think now's a good time for that advice." He nodded once, and smiled again. "See you soon, okay?"

I really was inspired by Yusuke's little speech. For all his strange personality quirks, he is an excellent motivational speaker. I must have tried over a hundred times that night to fit back into my body.

Of course, because I have nothing resembling any kind of luck, nothing worked.

But, more interestingly, I discovered I could play with the little dark spot of Hiei's demonic energy that lingered in my ghost's chest. I could tease it out of my own soul, and mold it into different shapes. It was the only entertainment I had, and it was quite fun.

I made a little ball for myself, and I would toss it around – never too far, because I didn't want to lose it – and play the loneliest game of catch _ever_.

I threw it at my own sleeping face once – _that_ was a terrible idea. I had to go fishing around in my own face after it got stuck. _Ew_. I was a very pretty shell- my eyes were closed in a peaceful expression, and the mask over my nose and mouth covered what I hoped was a slight peaceful smile.

But it was a shell. The lights aren't on; nobody's home.

* * *

It had been a day or so (hard to tell) since anyone had visited me, which I though was odd. I really missed Hiei. He had been quite a somber grump before he snapped, but he was still around. I hadn't seen him at all since he had to be forcibly removed from the tank room.

I was playing with my little ball, occasionally flattening I out into a pancake, then rolling it up again, when a tall woman came to visit me. I floated over from the tank and walked with her as she entered my room, trying to figure out what she wanted. She examined my vitals on a screen, and made an adjustment here or there. She had vibrant red-orange hair, and only one living eye – her right eye was robotic, and patched a little oddly to her face.

Finished with her adjustments, the walked over to the tank, examining my face. "I am Mukuro." She addressed me.

_So this is the mighty Lord Mukuro_, I thought. She smiled, just a little bit, and it set my nerves on edge. It was unsettling, not reaching anywhere else across her face. She also didn't seem to fidget at all – not really blinking, or moving her hands.

"I thought I should tell you in person; I'm turning this machine off tomorrow. I haven't told anyone. Your body has been fully healed for quite some time now, so if you haven't woken up by tomorrow, you're not going to at all."

My mouth gaped open.

"You _BITCH!"_ I screamed, for all the good it did me. She checked the instruments again, and turned to leave. I flew after her, trying to punch or maim her in every way. My hands just passed through her harmlessly, and she never seemed to notice my presence at all. "How can you fucking _do _that_ – I'M STILL HERE!_ _You're gonna kill me for good – what kind of shitty person ARE you?!_"

She paused at the door, turning her head slightly to address me. "Good luck."

Fuck.

Fuck!

_Fuck!_

"I'm totally _fucked!"_ I screamed, pulling at my hair.

How the fuck was I supposed to _magically_ figure out how to get back in my body in one day? I had been trying for God only knows _how_ long and hadn't figured it out!

I played with my little dark ball of energy nervously. I was jittery, walking around the room in circles rapidly, muttering darkly to myself. Said muttering consisted mostly of a rant of _fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!_

I'm nothing if not consistent.

But nothing came to mind, so I just kept fiddling with Hiei's energy – it was soothing, and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I made a little ball, then spread it into a sheet, then rolled it into a long, long snake. I stretched it longer and longer, until it was as thin as a –

I froze.

Thread.

As thin as a thread.

I was an _idiot_.

I flew across the room and pressed my soul-hand to flesh. As I had felt a thousand times before, there was a slight stir of a connection, but there was no real _lock_.

But this had happened before, and I knew the solution.

_We, unaccustomed to courage_

_exiles from delight_

_live coiled in shells of loneliness_

My hands were shaking with excitement, and I had to start over several times as I worked my little dark ball of energy into the thinnest line of thread. I had a finite amount, and I had to make it count.

Carefully, very carefully, I shaped the leading end of my thin, thin thread into a needle.

I was going to sew myself back into my body, just like Taisho had done almost a year before.

_until love leaves its high holy temple_

_and comes into our sight_

_to liberate us into life.  
_

I floated into the tank, and after giving my restful face one last glance, turned to occupy the same space as my empty flesh.

I started with my feet. It hurt, badly. Trying to ensure the best chance of success, I would dip the energy-needle deep into my flesh, and then soul-flesh, and yank the two together tightly. If you need a visual, the one I used was looping energy behind the bones of flesh, and then in front of bones in soul-flesh, and closing the loop would turn two forms to one.

_Love arrives_

_and in its train come ecstasies_

You know the thrill of fear and anxiety that rushes through you before you jump from a ledge that's just a little too high? Or the fear that hangs in the silence after you ask a loved one an important question, like 'are you cheating on me?' Imagine that feeling, but as a physical sensation in your soul.

But I couldn't stop. I didn't have any adrenaline in my soul to help numb the agony of piercing my soul and sewing it to flesh over and over again, but _somehow_, I knew it was working. My right soul-foot and leg were staying put.

_old memories of pleasure_

_ancient histories of pain.  
_

I lost all track of time, sewing stitch after stitch as slowly and carefully as I could, all while going as fast as I possibly could.

I encountered a problem. After finishing sewing in my left hand and arm all the way to my shoulder, I didn't have the free soul-hand to sew in my other arm. I paused. And how was I going to sew in my head after I did the other hand?

I skipped the dilemma of my other hand, and started up on my neck and head. That physical sensation of fear grew stronger as I sewed in my brain, my eyes, my nose, ears, and mouth. I looped in my throat, and tongue. Out of the fear of poor connection, I backtracked, and gave my brain another few loops. I worked my way back down my neck, and finally lost my angle after sewing in my right shoulder.

I had a small amount of energy left – about the size of a pea. I rolled it between my fingers, and with my thumb sort of smeared it over as much of my hand as possible. All out of energy, I slipped my soul into my flesh, and _pressed_.

_Yet if we are bold,_

_love strikes away the chains of fear_

_from our souls.  
_

And it stuck.

I was attached all over.

_Now what?_ I thought to myself, but didn't have the time for more speculation.

I felt it. In a sliding, sideways motion, everything locked into place, and my vision went black.

I panicked; why was it dark? The room was suddenly very cold, and a terribly slippery sensation was running over my skin. My breathing quickened, and I could hear alarms blaring.

I fought against an invisible hand to open my eyes, and that awful, slippery something pressed against my eyes. I realized, with a thrill of excitement, that I was in my body, in the tank.

_We are weaned from our timidity_

_In the flush of love's light_

I pressed my hands against the glass of the tank, trying to get the attention of someone – anyone. But for the first time in however long my body had been recovering, I was alone.

I tugged the mask from my face, and kicked up in the viscous liquid. My fingers wrapped around a wire mesh, and I pushed. The metal grate was heavy, and maybe even wedged into place.

_Seriously? _I thought to myself, _All the things trying to kill me, and _this_ is what kills me for real?_ No way. I pushed with all of my atrophied might, and the grate shifted. I shoved again, almost out of air, and it finally, finally, slipped from the top of the tank.

_we dare be brave_

I burst from the surface, heaving and gasping for air. I gripped the rounded lip of the tank, trying to lever myself out of the awful slippery tank-liquid. I fell out, smacking myself on the base of the tank, and slid a few feet across the floor, my body slick with the tank-liquid. I coughed, heaved, and gasped at the wonderful, disgusting air of the Makai.

Alarms were blaring all around me, but no one was answering.

I grabbed the first piece of clothing fabric I could find – a large blue cloak that seemed to have no business just hanging on the wall – and covered my mostly naked body. Sure, the important bits were covered by bandages or wire leads, but I was also feeling the glorious, _living_ sensation of cold for the first time again. Some asshole had removed my translator earrings, and for the life of me I couldn't find them.

"Fuck it." I swore. I didn't have time for this shit.

I forced my atrophied legs to move, and stumble forward.

_And suddenly we see_

I burst into a strangely busy hallway, and was almost instantly surrounded by demons both larger and taller than myself. They stopped, stared, and started yelling something I couldn't understand – my kingdom for a translator earring!

"Sorry!" I yelled as I stumbled the opposite way down the hall from the yelling demons.

I didn't know where I was running – I was following a feeling. It tingled in my hands, feet, and heart. It didn't beat in my heart, as demon hearts don't beat in the conventional sense, but rather _pulled_, like a hook behind my breastbone. _This way_, it called.

And I followed.

_that love costs all we are_

My tugging feeling stopped at a huge set of dark wood doors. They were heavy, and stuck pretty firmly in their frame. The shouts of demons were growing louder behind me – they were yelling something, something in Japanese (fucking translator earrings, never around when you need them), but I didn't want to wait and see if it was good or bad. I was following a feeling.

With all of my strength I gave the massive door a final shove, and it gave way as a small mob of demons gathered at the edges of the hallways behind me.

I stumbled into near-darkness – the room was poorly lit, save for eerie sickly-green lighting emanating from the floor, of all places.

And there he was.

The room was heaped with dead bodies, which registered on a part of my brain I wasn't using much of at that moment. I would process it later, but I had more important things to see. Hiei sat in at the base of a sinewy column that almost resembled a tree trunk, arms crossed on bended knees, a katana (new, it must be) resting against his chest. He was absolutely filthy – smeared with blood – the blood of others, I hoped. I could see healing cuts on his face and arms. He looked tired.

_and will ever be._

"Hiei?" I called quietly. He glanced up only once, and his eyes flickered quickly away. My heart flooded with disappointment. What had happened? Had I been gone too long?

_Wait_, my heart called out, _think like a demon. Think like a demon surrounded by dead bodies._

_He wouldn't have slept much_, I reasoned, _to keep his defenses up. He's probably started to hallucinate, at least. _

_He doesn't think this is real_.

And I couldn't just _talk_ to him – no fucking translators!

The demons in the hall behind me were all just standing in the doorway, calling out to me, but refusing to enter the room. _Lucky¸_ I thought. I moved further out of reach, walking further into the gloom of the room, picking my way around body parts and pools of blood to get closer to Hiei.

The voices grew louder, more concerned behind me. I heard familiar names mixed in with the calls back down the hallway – but I wasn't waiting.

Hiei had waited long enough.

I almost tripped over a demon's foot, and struggled to regain my balance, stepping sideways into a particularly thick puddle. I shuddered at the sensation, but kept walking.

"Hiei-" I called, my voice trembling, but strong. "I know you waited a long time, but you don't have to wait any longer." In English, my words fell on deaf ears, but I wanted to keep talking, as one does with a skittish animal. I didn't want him to just flicker away. He kept his eyes fixed on a faraway point, still avoiding looking at me.

"_Oof_\- but I'm here now. And I would _really_ appreciate if you would just _look at me_ and realize that everything's ok now!" I stumbled on my own feet as I grew ever-closer, my poor unused muscles protesting all the motion.

"It was _you_!" I called, growing desperate. "_You _saved me! I used the energy from the Mark so I could come back!"

I stepped around the last body, and there he was, right in front of me. Not caring about my surroundings, I sank to my knees, splashing more demon blood all over myself. I braced my hands against the column on either side of his head.

"Hiei." I said gently. He didn't move. _"Hiei – look at me._" I yelled. He closed his eyes, seeming to try to _will_ me away. _Stop haunting me, I can't take it_, his body language was practically screaming.

_Yet it is only love_

I sighed, my watery eyes threatening tears. I didn't know what else to do. "I'm sorry you were alone." I whispered. "I won't leave you again." I leaned down, and kissed his cheek as gently as I could. I thought that was it. I thought I was going to be sitting in front of a zombie, covered in someone else's blood, for as long as it took.

Hiei's nose flared, and he breathed in deeply. I recoiled slightly, his reaction somewhat strange to me.

_Demons remember scents_, my brain provided. _Remember, from Hiei's memory?_

"_Hanīsakkuru…"_ he said, so quietly I almost missed it. His eyes opened slowly, and flickered to my face. I could feel the magnetic attraction between us lock into place, and my heart surged. "_Aria_." He said my name in a breath, and moved in fluid motion, releasing his katana and capturing me in his arms. His skin was white-hot on my own frozen body. It felt _amazing_.

"_Watashi wa, anata ga nakunatte ita to omoimashita_." He murmured, breathing into my neck. I held him as tightly as I could, just relishing the feeling of real physical sensation and the chill of air moving in and out of my lungs.

_which sets us free._

I could hear cheering and yelling in the hall from familiar voices – Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama – and rapid footfalls enter the gloomy death-chamber. I couldn't help it, I started to laugh. Well, laugh and cry. Cry-laughing?

Whatever.

I was_ back._

* * *

Transaltions:

_Hanīsakkuru_ : Honeysuckle

_Watashi wa, anata ga nakunatte ita to omoimashita_ : I thought you were gone.

Can we make this the most reviewed chapter? Because that would be awesome. Review!


	42. Chapter 42 - In the Wink of an Eye

A/N: Hi readers! As you may have noticed, I took a bit of a break after the last chapter, trying to figure out how I wanted it all to end, and what the future would hold for Aria and Hiei. It took a lot of time, simply because I wanted to avoid a lot of the stereotypical endings, and finish with something more appropriate for the story and the relationship I've created.

There's still some good content coming, but, yes, we are coming to a close.

Thank you all so much for your patience, and your wonderful reviews! I think you all will love this chapter.

* * *

It was sort of an interesting process trying to move from that point. Hiei was not particularly inclined to let me go, nor was he particularly friendly with anyone approaching. He would snarl, and his eyes would glow that blue-violet whenever anyone got within arm's reach.

"I think he's just tired." I explained to Kurama.

I ran my fingers through Hiei's hair, massaging his scalp. He had been kind enough to sit back against the column again, pulling me into his lap where he rested his chin on my shoulder and glared at anyone who dared to approach.

I yawned, covering my mouth with the back of my hand. "Why don't you-" another yawn. "Why don't you just leave us here to catch a few winks, and we'll come out in the morning."

"It is morning." Kurama chuckled.

"Oh, I meant tomorrow morning."

"Will you be alright?"

"Woe be unto the demon who attempts to so much as poke my nose tonight. I'll be fine."

Kurama ushered Yusuke and Kuwabara out of the death chamber, reassuring them in Japanese. The heavy doors closed rather quietly, and we were alone in the sickly gloom.

Surrounded by a thousand dead demons, and soaked in the blood of our enemies, we cuddled up in the darkness and slept, soundly, at last.

* * *

I woke up in motion, which was slightly disorienting. I made a disgruntled sound, burying my face into Hiei's shirt. He chuckled lightly in response, which only irked me. It was far too bright, and I was still sleepy. Why don't demons need as much sleep as people? It just isn't right.

But a door opened, and the ambient light quickly dropped, and I was deposited on the softest, most comfortable bed I have ever slept on. I don't think I moved one inch from where he set me down – I just grabbed the nearest pillow and curled into a contented little ball.

I felt warm lips on my cheek – a quick kiss – and a tickle in the back of my mind. _Stay here_. He said to me. I replied by snuggling deeper into my captured pillow.

I almost fell back asleep, but I heard running water start not too far away, and my brain leapt – hot water? Shower? Cleanliness? But I couldn't convince my limbs to so much as wiggle from their perfectly comfortable position.

Thankfully, Hiei returned. He shook my shoulder very gently, and I grunted. He lifted me from the perfect bed – with much complaint from me – and carried me towards the strangely loud sound of running water.

_You need to stand now_. He told me, and I grumbled, rubbing at my eyes in another attempt to seize wakefulness. The bathroom was bright, and as Hiei set me down I looked around and realized it could hardly be so simply categorized as a "bathroom". I had seen a fair number of American household bathrooms, and now I was also up to date on standard Japanese bathrooms and the less-than-familiar order of operations when using a bathtub. But this was something in a category of its own.

It was basically a spa attached to a room. There were the standard utilities, but the bathtub was the size of a six-person Jacuzzi, and the tub was filling at an inhuman rate with slightly purple-tinged water. And it smelled _amazing_.

I disrobed quickly, removing the blue cloak that I had stolen from the tank room. I was unsure as to whether I still needed all of my bandages, and looked to Hiei with the question in my eyes. He unwrapped them for me, and I blushed – his hands were quite close to rather sensitive areas, and I could definitely feel my blood rushing to said areas.

Hiei held my hand to steady me as I climbed into the tub and settled into the amazing scented purple water. I couldn't identify the scent – it was like lavender, but with the headiness of jasmine. I was completely distracted from identification, however, when Hiei started to undress. My blush crept all the way up to my forehead, and my ears nearly caught fire.

Seriously, though. It was nothing I hadn't already seen a few times, but he was still godly to me. Covered in dried blood and mud and bruised and scratched up, he was still my Hiei, and those beautiful red eyes stayed fixed on me the whole time.

He slid into the tub/Jacuzzi/swimming pool directly across from me, smirking at my blush. I floundered around a while, trying to distract myself with just getting clean. Hiei seemed perfectly content just to wash, and watch me struggle with basic tasks.

He reached over the side of the tub, rifling around in his pants pockets, withdrawing a closed fist.

_Hold out your hand._ He urged gently. I complied – whatever it was probably didn't belong at the bottom of the bathtub. My translator earrings made a merry crystal _clink!_ as they dropped into my hands.

"Thank you." I murmured as I clipped them on swiftly. Hiei didn't reply, just continued to stare at me from the opposite side of the tub. "Hiei?" I asked, tapping my earrings. Were they not working?

"Come here." He commanded, holding out a hand for me. I floated across, taking his warm hand in my slightly chilly one. I straddled his waist, and rested my chin against his shoulder as he embraced me.

I couldn't help myself, nor did I feel the need to try. I started kissing his shoulder, relishing in the physical sensation of my lips on his skin, and the quick tension of the muscles under his skin. It wasn't my intention, but I could feel his arousal growing.

"_Onna._" He growled.

"Mmm?" I hummed against his skin. I nuzzled his neck, and his hands tightened around my waist.

"Stop _testing_ me." He groaned.

His scent was intoxicating, and I sighed with each breath I took. "I'm not. I _want_ you." And it was so true. Tired, weak, and unpleasantly scarred, my desire was overwhelming my senses.

Hiei had more sense than me, however. His hands gripped my upper arms, drawing me just far enough away from his torso to stop my tortuous kisses. "You're still recovering."

I smiled, leaning in against his grip. "Then don't make me work so hard." His grip softened, and I kissed him. "I want this. Do you?" My question was teasing, and I was wrapped almost instantly in a scorching embrace, and his lips rained down a fiery vengeance on my skin.

I rocked against him, and he groaned, the sound of his arousal transforming into a growl. His teeth raked against my skin. "Will you stay?" He murmured into my neck.

"I'm not going anywhere." I replied breathlessly.

He nipped along my collar bone with incredibly sharp teeth. "Swear it."

How could I deny it? He was everything to me. "I _swear_– I'm yours; now, then, and _forever_."

He sighed – almost imperceptibly – and sank those sharp teeth deep into the soft flesh of my shoulder.

It was so different from the first Mark. I cried out as I was filled with an ecstatic joy – a heat that filled me to the tip of each finger and toe, and threatened to pour from my eyes. I felt his powerful demonic energy mix with my fledgling wisps of power, and they married beautifully.

I was crying out, I think. I was gripping him so fiercely I drew blood, I think.

He released the bite, and all of my muscles relaxed at once, and I collapsed against his chest, breathing heavily. He licked away the pinpricks of blood from around the Mark. "You're mine – _forever._"

* * *

Hiei helped me dry off, as I was still too stiff to have a proper range of motion. He fluffed my hair with the towel, kissed my shoulder, his lips lingering on the fresh Mark.

It could have been a tender moment, brimming with all the feel-good hormones that newlyweds have swimming through their veins, but we had no such luck.

Kisses were interrupted by a rough voice yelling outside Hiei's door. "Hey! Some of us want to see her walking and talking, too!" Kuwabara was banging on the door to emphasize his point.

I snickered as Hiei growled low in his chest.

"We'll be down in a minute!" I called, patting Hiei on the shoulder. His growl intensified, and I laughed.

I dressed simple – jeans, t-shirt, sweater – and leaned heavily on a still-grumpy Hiei as we walked down the halls. I was impressed with Hiei's tolerance as I was swarmed with hugs – lots of people touching his new mate indiscriminately – no one lost any body parts or anything!

I could see from the amused gleam in both Yusuke and Kurama's eyes that they sensed the mating – Kuwabara had to be beat over the head by Yusuke with a 'don't strangle her with your stupid hugs, idiot' to let go.

Once seated at an incredibly long table, enough food to feed a small demon army was shoved in front of me – cooked meat of every breed, fruits, vegetables, and I think I even saw pancakes in there!

In a very delicate and lady-like fashion I cut my food into teeny bites and chewed quietly.

As if – I shoved as much food into my mouth as possible. I was _starving._

Kurama was kind enough to wait for me to finish a mouthful before asking questions. "How much do you remember?" He leaned across the table, lacing his fingers together.

I paused – something akin to a mango halfway to my mouth. "All of it, actually. I think my soul came… I don't know – detached? But Spirit World never came to collect."

Yusuke rocked back in his chair, his feet propped up on the table. "They _did_. A few spirit guides spent the entire time searching for your soul, but couldn't find it."

"Some part of me was hiding, I guess." I ruminated around a bit of my almost-mango. "I think I'm going to miss having a heartbeat." I tapped at my chest, and the ugly pink scar that divided my beautiful chest tattoo in two.

"You get used to it." Yusuke chuckled, and let his feet drop, leaning forward on the table. "I've been dying of curiosity – _how did you do it_?"

The big question was how much to tell. "It, uh… it's a long story." I didn't want anyone to abe angry. " I had a lot of help – from Taisho, from Mukuro…" I tried to say it quietly, but that got Hiei's attention.

"Taisho?! And _Mukuro?!"_

I laughed nervously. "Well, uh…heh heh." I gave up – there was no way the story was going to come out well, so I spilled.

I told my story from the start – from dying in the cave at Mishka's gentle hands, to seeing them come to rescue me, to Mukuro's tank. I skipped over the part about Hiei's breakdown – they knew that I knew, and that was enough.

I explained how Mukuro got my butt in gear with her threats, and Hiei snarled from his guard-like standing position behind me. But there were shocked looks all around when I described the process of sewing my soul back into flesh.

I reached over my shoulder and wiggled my fingers, asking for Hiei's hand. Somewhat surprisingly, he laced his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"It's quite a spectacular story." Kurama chuckled.

"Yeah – too bad anyone else would think I was completely insane if I told them." I finished my almost-mango. "So what's next?"

Kurama and Yusuke exchanged a look. "We think it would be wise to return to the Human World, for now, while we regroup. Mishka has not been seen in quite some time, and Koenma reports there have been some… developments, with Taisho."

"Like _what_?" I didn't really want to know. I _really_ didn't want to think about either of them anymore.

But Hiei interrupted that train. "Later. You need to get your strength back."

I kind of resented the excessive care I was receiving. Sure, I was still tired, and sore, and whatever, but I was starving for information, too. "I'm fine – really. I don't need to-"

Cue the interrupting Hiei. "We're going back to the human world." It was a very final statement, with absolutely no room for argument. I bristled, but hid it well.

I smiled, although I know it didn't reach my eyes. "I guess I've got packing to do. You go on ahead – I'll be along in a minute." I grabbed another piece of fruit. "I've got a lot of eating to catch up on, and I'm sure none of you want to sit and watch that. And you're all smothering me, so _scat_!"

* * *

They did eventually leave me alone, and I proceeded to eat my feelings.

I had a hard time accepting what seemed to be my new role as a subservient mate – yes, dear, no dear, two bags full, dear. I didn't know much about the Makai – except its plant life, now – and where various dangers could be hiding, but that wasn't reason to drag me back to the Human World.

I was also sort of starting to like it here. Not Alaric, specifically, but just the Makai. Life was simpler – and more violent – but there was none of the trivialities that make human life so dreary – jobs, taxes, and a life lived balancing the two while still trying not to die of a treatable disease.

I thought instead of how much he must care to be so protective. If I didn't matter, he wouldn't worry. Ugh, but that thought still made me sick. I didn't want to be handled like glass – I wanted to be an equal partner; to have my opinions considered and given value.

I considered beating my head against the table, but light footsteps interrupted my thoughts.

The red-headed Lord walked down the opposite side of the table, approaching me silently. "Greetings, Lord Mukuro." Was I supposed to curtsy, even though I was sitting at a table stuffing my face? I really hoped not.

"Greetings." She sat down directly across from me. "Congratulations on your mating."

"Thank you." I bowed my head respectfully, and gave a demure smile.

She was very silent, and had virtually no body language other than that odd smile that didn't reach her eye. It was insanely creepy. What did she want? Was this a test of some kind? I had never gotten full information about the history between her and Hiei. That information hole felt really important right about now.

"Can I help you, Lord Mukuro?" I tried to ask the question in my most respectful tone.

She placed her hands on the table, and laced her fingers together – in exactly the same fashion that Kurama tended to lace his. "Do I not deserve the same level of respect from you as the other Lords?"

I blinked. The question threw me for a loop. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

She blinked, finally. Her faint smile was fading. "You're returning to the Human World immediately."

"Yes, Hiei-" She cut off my attempt at an explanation.

"What is he to you?" She asked slowly.

More trick questions? "Um – my mate?" I replied, even more slowly. I felt like the idiot step-child at the table.

She chuckled darkly. "No – that's what _you_ are to _him._ What is he to you?"

My eyes narrowed, and I tilted my head in confusion. I didn't understand the game she was playing. As one of the Demon Lords, I could never expect that her motives were pure – she definitely wanted something from me. But it felt a lot like she was trying to genuinely help me.

I thought about it. "My husband."

"And are all human females subservient to their husbands?" She asked.

I shook my head quickly. "Not anymore, no. But I understand that my husband knows more about the relative safety of the Makai than I do." I paused. "However – I would never presume that your lands are less safe than any of the other environs that I have visited. And it would be quite rude to deny you my services." I smiled. "And my husband should understand that we must never be rude to our hosts."

Mukuro made a satisfied sort of sound, and stood from the table. "I expect the same treatment as the other Lords."

I nodded slowly. "Of course, Lord Mukuro." She glanced back at me, and winked. Well – I would never be able to confirm it was a wink, as her other eye was robotic. It could easily be explained away as a blink that wasn't mirrored by her robotic eye.

A slow smile bloomed across my face. Sneaky.

* * *

A/N: Hello readers! There's been some expression of interest in another fanfic, maybe a Kurama/OC story – trouble is, I'm just not fond enough of Kurama to write something like that, but that could change. I do hope to feel inspired enough to write more stories in the future, though! I don't think I'll be doing a Hiei POV of this story, or a sequel, or any continuation of this story.

Please review! It's what keeps me a-writin'!


	43. Chapter 43 - Pick Your Battles

A/N: Hi Readers! So sad, yes, the story does have to end. It would be a truly awful story if it just rambled on and on forever. _But – _I could be convinced to do a series of one-shots for bits of the story that you never got to see. For example – the moment that Hiei realized he was in love? :3

* * *

Hiei was pacing around my tree, hands shoved deep into pockets, eyes narrow and annoyed. He was positively seething.

"You've got to let it go, darlin'." I called from my position high in the tree.

Hiei grumbled something dark on the ground. "Aren't you done yet?" He called up.

"These trees bloom only on the top branches, so it's a long climb." I poked my head out of the thick branches to glare threateningly at him. "And I don't want to take shortcuts!"

He grumbled again, and I ignored him.

We hadn't talked about my main concern – that I be considered more as a wife than as a possession. Mukuro had given me an easy out on that pending argument, and I was waiting for the right time to bring it up. I dreaded the arrival of said window.

I was enjoying the surveys of Alaric. It was slightly warmer than Gandara, but cooler than the deserts of Tourin. It reminded me a lot of my home climate of North Carolina, actually. I had started out on the ground and underbrush as I built my strength back up, but I was already back to top fitness only a week later. I credited my hardy new organs with the improvements in my strength and stamina.

It had taken a few rounds of explanations from Yusuke for me to grasp my new classification. I was a _demon_ now. There wasn't any such thing as a half-demon – the energies just wouldn't marry well, so you were either human, spirit, or demon. Period. My demon energy was weak, but it positively classified me as a demon. How it developed remained to be seen, as well as if any physical changes manifested. But, Kurama assured me it would take a few decades of training and practice before any useful abilities emerged.

In the mean-time, I was enjoying feeling like a well-trained Olympian.

I plucked one of the golden flowers from end of the tree branch, enjoying the soft honey smell before dropping it into a sample jar. It was rare, but the nectar stored in the blossoms did wonders for treating burns.

"Ok – I'm coming down!" I hollered.

I knew as soon as I saw the flicker of black that I was about to make an abrupt descent to the ground. Before I knew it, I was wrapped in warm arms, falling through the air. As soon as we touched down Hiei let go of my legs and half-dropped me, and I had to stumble to stay upright.

"What is your _problem?_" I yelled, shoving him away from me.

He snapped a sharp glare. "You were taking too long. Let's go."

I took a big step backwards. Had we stepped back in time? Was this the same person I had chosen to be my husband? "Is this what it's going to be like? Is this it? You got what you want and I get ordered around for the rest of forever?"

"Stop your gibbering and move."

"_No!_ Not until you talk to me!" I crossed my arms, and tried to steel my resolve.

His power flared, and the grass under his feet burned away. "_You will not question me!" _He roared. I took another step back, fear evident in my eyes. His anger wavered, and the flare of power receded. He leaned heavily against the tree, and buried his face in his hands. He looked so tired.

_God help me_. I prayed silently. I approached him cautiously, pulling his hands away from his face. "Look – I love you, _really_, and I think we're going to be amazing together." He didn't lift his head, so I had to kneel in the ground to look up into his eyes. "You aren't like this – you don't treat me like less of a person, and I never imagined that I would… be expected to be submissive." I smiled sadly, squeezing his hands. "It's not me. That's not who I am. So…I don't know what you want from me."

I held my breath as he moved, pulling his hands from my grip and very gently cupping the sides of my face. "I need you to be _safe_." He ground out. "I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you."

I covered his hands with mine. "If you smother me in safety I will wither away."

_I can't lose you again._ His thoughts just barely brushed mine.

I stroked the back of his hands with my thumbs. "You will lose me like this. I will become a hollow shell."

_I don't know what to do_, he thought to me. And there it was; the root of it all. There we were, stumbling through this hard life together, both hoping that our actions would keep the other happy, and alive. We couldn't see far on the path ahead, so we were just doing our best. But our best kind of sucked.

I stood to wrap my arms around his waist, and rest my head on his shoulder. "I don't either, darlin'. But if we push each other away we won't have anything left."

Hiei returned my hug, holding me a little too tightly. I didn't ask him to loosen his grip.

We stood there just like that for a while, holding on to all that we had left.

"You walk too slow." Hiei snapped, but the venom had all but drained from his voice. He was back to just moderately irritated.

"And you're obnoxious." I retorted, smiling.

* * *

Bag jingling merrily with sample containers, we walked back to the mobile fortress in a far better mood than when we left that morning.

"How many more samples do you plan to collect?" Hiei asked.

"Um, I'm not sure yet. I have to take a look at what I've got." I was stalling. Not in my answer, not really, but in the survey. I liked it in the Makai. I didn't need to worry about a lot of my typical human concerns, and I could focus on my work, and on Hiei.

I was also slowly coming to realize that I didn't want to go back to the Human World at all. But I was using the excuse of wanting to do a good job on the surveys as my personal reasoning for now.

We made a brief side-trip to my makeshift "office" to drop off the sample jars – my desk was overflowing with the things – before heading to eat with Kurama. Kuwabara had returned to the Human World, and Yusuke to Tourin. Kurama had stayed, albeit unwillingly. He was an unfortunate victim of my slow pace, helping to identify plants and gauge fire reactions. But he accepted his torture with grace.

"Good evening." He greeted us as we sat at the table. "How is the survey progressing?"

"Quite well, thank you. Did you find the book I needed?" I had sent Kurama back to the Human World a few times in search of a book I needed. As of yet he hadn't been able to find it.

Kurama chuckled, and slid a heavy book across the table. "With a lot of help from a very patient librarian, yes. Not surprisingly, it is quite difficult to find a taxonomical book in English in the heart of Japan."

I grasped the familiar book, and sighed at happy memories. _Manual of the Vascular Flora of the Carolinas_ was my favorite plant identification reference.

"Might I ask what is so special about this book?" Kurama asked, looked amused at my loving expression.

I stuck my tongue out him for the mocking comment that must be floating around in his head. "This delightful book is going to be a model for sorting the massive number of plants that need said sorting."

"Well, you have it for three weeks, and then the Interlibrary Loan is up and the college wants it back."

"This is from a college library?" I flipped it over, looking for the library barcode on the back cover. They always include the name on the barcode. I found it in under a second, and blinked. I blinked again. Third time, I burst out laughing. It was somewhere between hysteria and mania – a very delicate balance – and the men at the table seemed distinctly disturbed.

"Onna…?" Hiei was first to interrupt.

I tried to contain myself, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I'm sorry, it's just… this is my school!" I pointed to the name above the barcode. "This is my alma mater. The coincidence was just… too much."

I continued giggling for a few more seconds while Kurama and Hiei shared a concerned look.

"I'm ok, really." I patted the book. "I just had a moment."

I took the book and stood, just grabbing a piece of fruit from the table. "I'm going to get started on my samples, and see what's left to collect." I walked out of the room quickly, clutching that book tightly to my chest.

I was greeted with nods and grunts from demons as I walked back to my office – a small room with a desk and overflowing with sample jars – and I nodded and greeted in return. I'm not sure why most of them felt the need to acknowledge my existence at all – maybe it was my connection to Hiei, or maybe even a veiled threat from Mukuro.

I also really didn't understand Mukuro. Like, _really_. She had made an unexpected drop-in to my office a few days in, stared at the sample jars piled high, and kept walking down the hall. She didn't say a word. Weirdo.

I shut the office door behind me to prevent looky-loos from sticking horned heads into my broom closet. It happened. I flipped on the light, and a happy little sigh worked its way out of my lips.

I really liked my little room, and the little jars, and the little plant bits. It was peaceful, and I felt like I was surrounded by my closest friends, all whispering little secrets to me. I had to learn the language, and it took time and effort, but it was always worth it in the end.

I opened the golden tree flower jar, and took a small sniff. Delightful. I took the flower out of the jar with a pair of tweezers, and shook the dusty pollen into a new sample container. Once that was done, I laid out the flower on a clean sheet of cloth, and carefully dissected it, letting the nectar fill another new container, and scribbled a few notes about the structure of the flower in my notes. It reminded me a lot of a Tulip tree, and their heavy, meaty flowers, only with that gorgeous gold color and sweet honey scent.

Alaric was full of things like this, hidden in the underbrush, or high in treetops. Beauty and kindness and gentle things were hidden away in the secret corners of Alaric. I wondered what that said about Mukuro.

I let that thought go as I transitioned to my next sample, referring to my new book to ensure I was using the proper terminology for plant parts. I hummed quietly and happily to myself, surrounded by a hundred of my closest friends, waiting their turn to reveal their secrets.

* * *

A/N: Hi readers! Quiet little ending to a shorter chapter, and no cliffhanger this time!

So, to help soften the upcoming (like 10 chapters from now but whatever) ending of this fanfic, there is some news. There will be one-shots to follow. Aaaaaaaanddddd I'm going to write a Kurama/OC fic after all. I've worked out her profession (not telling), and her name, and a small number of key plot points, but it's still in development. If you want to have a hand in the creation of this storyline, send me a message with what you've truly _hated_ in other K/OC fics, and what you would have loved to see.


	44. Chapter 44 - Best Laid Plans

A/N – heeeeeeeello again Readers! You will be pleased to hear that writing has begun for the new story, but you won't get to read any of it until this story is fully completed, or else I probably won't end up finishing this one at all. And that would suck.

* * *

_Damn_. I thought to myself. _I don't need any more samples._ I leaned back in my chair; arms crossed over my chest, staring at my pile of notes. It was an unpleasant thought for first thing in the morning. I had been hoping to make another excursion into Alaric's wonderful forests with Hiei, but it didn't seem necessary. At this point, I had a few days of writing to do, a day or two of field burns, and then another few days of writing.

"Uuu_uUUUUUUuuu_ugh!" I sighed loudly and dramatically, collapsing onto my desk in a huff. A lock of my hair promptly flopped into my eyes, just to add insult to injury. "This sucks." I whined to no one. I wondered briefly about whether I should just lie, and say that some of my samples degraded or something… but that just seemed like a bad plan overall.

My musing was interrupted, however, when my office door opened. I thought it could be Hiei or Kurama, but a rough feminine voice addressed me instead. "Aria."

My head shot up off the desk and I nearly broke my patella on the underside of the desk from trying to stand quickly. "Lord Mukuro!" I shouted. Graceful lady, am I. "What can I do for you?" It came out rather rushed, and I hoped she understood me.

The demon Lord stood in my office doorway, but didn't enter. Her arms were clasped behind her back, and she had that moderate smile plastered on her face. "Do you have a moment to take a walk with me?" She asked politely.

"Of course, of course." I replied hastily, extricating myself from the scientific rubble. She was already walking down the hall, and I had to scurry to catch up.

When I caught up, she addressed me. "I must admit that I had ulterior motives for requesting you stay to complete the forest surveys."

I nodded. "I expected as much."

She glanced at me briefly, never slowing her long stride. "I was hoping Hiei would reconsider his decision."

"What decision is that?" I asked slowly. I felt a strong possibility that I was treading in dangerous waters with a shark just beyond my field of view.

She made a vaguely disgruntled noise. "Hiei has made it clear that he will not take up stewardship of Alaric after I am gone."

I blinked a few times, and hoped for a clarity that never came. "I don't understand what that means."

She glanced at me again, but held the look a little longer. There was definitely something condescending about her facial expression. "Under the current King of Makai – Enki – the original three Kings of Makai watch over their old lands as Lords, as a way to keep balance. As my first Lieutenant, Hiei would have inherited the Lordship when I die, or when his power surpasses mine."

"Okaaayyyy…?" I drawled, still feeling stupid.

Mukuro slowed her long strides as we approached the end of the hall. There was a small window set into the thick wall, and I could see familiar trees outside, though I couldn't tell where we were exactly in the fortress. Mukuro looked out the window for a time before clarifying. "Hiei has stated, and now reiterated, that he will not accept the Lordship. You must make him reconsider."

I realized at that moment that I could be in quite the sticky situation; I had been led on a merry goose chase around the fortress, and was counting on Mukuro's good will to find my way back. And I was about to crush it. "I will not." I said firmly.

She blinked. "Beg pardon?"

I shrugged, hoping nonchalance would relieve tension. "If he doesn't want it, he doesn't want it. I don't know what made him change his mind-" Mukuro interrupted sharply. "You." She stated, and my eyebrows shot up, nearly into my hairline.

"How do you know?" I asked slowly.

Her little smile was back, setting me on edge. "Because he told me."

We stood in silence for only a brief moment where I considered my words very carefully. "I'm not going to make him take that Lordship if he doesn't want it."

"Hiei doesn't know what he wants." She rebutted.

I scoffed. "Obviously he does."

Mukuro was infinitely unnerving. She never seemed to get emotional about anything when she spoke, and I was pretty sure that I was an obnoxious sort of person. She didn't stand aggressively, or threaten me. She just stood there, arms crossed behind her back, smiling that emotionless grin.

"You know so little about your husband, Aria. Doesn't that bother you? Do you know what we were to each other?" She asked, her smile never faltering.

"Nope, and nope, and _I don't care_." I declared, my voice bordering on a yell for just a moment. I collected myself, returning to a calmer tone before continuing. "I can't let my worry, or jealousy, or anger overshadow the best thing I have. If he chooses to tell me, fantastic! If not, that's ok too. He and I have a thousand years ahead of us to figure all of this out."

I jutted my chin up a little, and glared at her with defiance. She continued to blink at me. Her face slowly returned to the gentle smile that didn't meet her eyes. "Are you certain of your decision?"

_Contestant, is that your final answer?_ I hesitated, steeling myself. "Yes."

She blinked at me, seemingly waiting to see if I would change my mind. When I didn't, she nodded once, firmly. "Good. You and your Husband have much to speak about." She stepped to the side, and I could see Hiei approaching from far down the hall.

His eyes lit up with surprise when he saw me, but it was quickly veiled in his usual stoic expression. "Obviously this isn't the meeting you claimed it to be." He snarled at Mukuro.

"No need to be angry. I was just leaving." Mukuro sounded so calm, almost teasing in her light tone. "Aria. You can give me your report information verbally, tomorrow. There's no need for you to stay here any longer."

That really threw me for a loop, and I struggled to collect enough working brain cells to reply. "Uh, sure. I was going to do a few burn trials-"

She shook her head. "That won't be necessary. The information you've collected will suffice." And just like that, she left at the same brisk pace.

As soon as she had turned a corner, Hiei turned to me, his eyes full of concern. "Did she threaten you?" He asked, reaching for my hand in a surprisingly touching gesture.

I laced my fingers with his. "What? Of course not." I squeezed his hand, and swung it lightly, smiling. I almost never got to hold Hiei's hand. It was nice.

He still looked both concerned and annoyed. I think it's a uniquely _Hiei_ feature to be able to fully express both emotions on his face at the same time. "What did she want?"

"You know… I'm really not sure." I shrugged, still swinging mine and Hiei's hands. I tugged at his hand, and we started walking back the way he had come. "You want to tell me about this Lordship that you're turning down?" I asked, my tone still fairly chipper.

"No." He said flatly.

I sighed. "Hiei-"

"I don't _want_ it." He stated firmly.

"But you did before." I pressed.

He made a disgruntled noise that sounded an awful lot like the kind Mukuro did. Maybe it was a demon thing. "That doesn't matter."

I swear I loved my husband dearly. I squeezed his hand to get his attention, and stopped walking. Those amazing red eyes turned on me, the question glimmering in his eyes. I sighed. "Mukuro says I changed your mind; that you were going to take her place before… well, _me_." I shifted awkwardly, and felt my hand slip out of Hiei's grip.

He watched my hand slip away and then just stared at me. He did a good job of keeping his emotions off his face. "I was. And now I'm not." He stated plainly.

I rubbed my palms together, fingers splayed wide. "I guess I just don't understand." I was saying that a lot lately. It didn't feel good.

"You don't have to." He said, and his flat tone continued to confuse me.

I felt so… alone. It's hard to describe. I was new to this whole demon thing, and everyone around me seemed to know exactly what they were doing. I was just stumbling around, hoping that what I said didn't get me killed. I didn't understand the world. I didn't understand the people. "But I want to." I said softly. I imagine some of what I was feeling could be read on my face, or maybe Hiei could feel it through the Mark, because his eyes softened just a little. I think maybe somehow he understood my strange loneliness.

"Come here." He beckoned, holding his hand out for mine. I took it – it wasn't every day Hiei asked to hold my hand. How about _never_? "It's not…" He struggled to find the words. "This is not a _gentle_ world. And it is not _kind_ people that lead it. I don't want this place to ruin you. Or… _us_. I won't risk it."

Oh.

_Oh. _

I was a demon now, and that would change the rules. While over time I would get stronger, and Hiei wouldn't have to worry about a human scent attracting people-eaters, he was focused on even longer-term problems.

It was unexpected, honestly. I had thought he would want to stay in the Demon World – to keep power, to be _King_, like we had talked about not too long ago. But Hiei wanted me to be able to be _me. _I didn't have a choice in becoming a demon, but he was giving me a choice in what kind of person I became from that point on. He was walking away – and keeping me far from – the sweet call of power that consumes most demons.

I smiled, squeezing his hand. "If I still had a real heart it would be all a-flutter right now." I smiled, my other hand on my chest. He scowled deeply. "No, I mean it! It's very sweet."

We started walking again; me smiling, him grumbling. "Will you stop pestering me with questions now?"

"Yes; I'm satisfied." I linked my arm around his. We walked in contented silence.

* * *

Mukuro listened impassively as I reported on the state of Alaric's forests. I handed her jars of samples as I spoke, pointing out which would benefit her to collect regularly, and which needed to be monitored carefully to prevent invasive tendencies. She would nod occasionally as I stressed a point, and set the jar in the growing pile on her right.

I talked for hours, transitioning from species-specific concerns to general recommendations. Alaric had great diversity, and with that came a well-maintained balance of plants. As long as the larger plants remained relatively undisturbed, they wouldn't have a large problem with invasives, save for a few over-zealous plants.

We spread out a huge map over the massive table, and I pointed out areas of concern, where underbrush could or had been building up to unsafe levels. I showed her where I had marked the locations of rare species, and areas with dangerous fire-starters.

She continued to nod as I spoke, and rolled up the map as I continued to talk, and talk, and talk. I was starting to think that this was an elaborate form of torture – she wanted me to talk until I was hoarse and mute or until I ran out of breath and dropped dead from exhaustion. No such luck for the powerful demoness, though.

I wrapped up my presentation by touching on a few key points again, and finished with a lame "Uh… that's it."

Mukuro nodded, again, and said finally. "Good." And then she didn't say any more. It was an awkward silence that followed, and I figured that was as close as I was going to get to a proper dismissal.

I bowed my head once. "Thank you for your hospitality." I mumbled.

"It was my pleasure." She replied, which I hardly believed. But then she finished with.: "And Aria-" She smiled. "You're a good match. I approve."

I almost flailed my arms in the air in complete disbelief. "You've barely spoken to me!" I cried, leaning forward on the table. This crazy woman, who had known me for basically all of five minutes, kept saying the most insane things.

She chuckled lightly. "I know enough. Unless you question my assessment?" She seemed perfectly calm in light of both my loud reaction at the utter absurdity of her words. Her laughing did stop, and I stood up from my hunch over the table, rubbing away the palm marks I had left behind.

"I guess I was just expecting us to fight or something." And on that note – who the hell was I kidding? God, I felt like an emotional and physical wreck. I could barely keep my emotions in check it seemed, nowadays. I wondered if that had anything to do with my "change".

She smiled, and this time it did reach her eye. "Do you want to fight?"

"I don't think I have a snowball's chance in hell of winning that one, so _hell_ no." I grinned cheekily, and thought that if Yusuke were in my position he _absolutely_ would have taken her up on that offer.

For just a minute, we were two regular people, standing in a room together. Two women, talking about our jobs, and a guy we both knew. I didn't understand the demoness, but I thought that – given another hundred years or so – I might look back and understand a little more.

Mukuro closed her good eye, and leaned back in her chair. "Do remember to visit, from time to time. I believe Hiei is waiting for you right outside my doors." That was definitely a dismissal, and she didn't say any more. Her robotic eye tracked me as I gave her a proper, respectful bow.

I walked out quickly, as soon as the moment was over. It took a good amount of effort to push the heavy doors open, but it got easier each time. My bag was on the floor next to Hiei, who was leaning against the wall, looking indifferent. "Hello, my love. Shall we?" I greeted him, grabbing my bag.

He pushed off the wall without a sound. "That took too long." Hiei complained.

"If I had been in there for five minutes, you _still_ would have said it was too long." I teased, poking him in the arm.

His scowl warmed a little. "Hn. Kurama's waiting for us, something about going to Spirit World."

I hefted the bag strap higher on my shoulder, and followed Hiei as we walked down the hall. "Oh? What's up?"

His jaw clenched, and he ground out his next words. "Taisho wants to talk to you."

* * *

I'm not 100% in love with this chapter, but I think it's just as good as it's going to get. I had to rewrite a large portion of this once it was pointed out to me that I had made a very strange plot change that really just made no sense.

Review!


	45. Chapter 45 - Heart to Heart

A/N: Hi again, readers. To no one's great surprise, I'm sure, I'm struggling to wrap up this story in a satisfying way all around. I've also started writing my new story (title TBA). The new character, Maggie, is definitely taking up residence in my brain. Aria has pretty much packed her stuff away, and is just waiting for me to get the memo.

* * *

I wasn't nervous, to my everlasting surprise. I didn't feel the urge to drum my fingers, or play with my hair, or talk incessantly to myself or my companions.

Hiei, on the other hand, was positively brimming with barely bridled fury. It would have been difficult for an outside observer to identify, but I could see a muscle in his jaw flexing repeatedly, and his crossed arms would tighten over his chest at the slightest sound from outside. It was cute.

Kurama was steely-eyed, but calm. Granted, he wasn't about to sit across from his wife's murderer, and be expected not to rip his throat out. He idly picked at a loose thread on his sleeve.

For all the horror that was ascribed to Spirit World prison, it at least had a surprisingly pleasant interrogation room. Or was it just a waiting room? I honestly wasn't sure. The room had no decorations of any kind – just four plain grey walls, a steel table, and two uncomfortable steel chairs; the one I was occupying, and one opposite me for Taisho.

I sat quietly in my uncomfortable chair, counting my breaths, and listening for a heartbeat that was no longer there. My hearing was starting to improve. If I was very quiet, I could hear the faint whisper of Hiei's eyelashes beating against his cheek when he blinked. I also could tell the difference between Hiei and Kurama's blinks – Hiei's were sharp and quick, where Kurama's slow, languid blinks resulted in a quieter eyelash-sound. But back to the prison.

I had imagined that Taisho would be escorted from a long dark (and maybe damp) hallway by about eight ogres in full armor, carrying big axes or swords or something. Instead of that great vision, though, he just walked in the door on the opposite end of the room, unaccompanied. He didn't have a prison jumpsuit, either; just plain slacks and a white collared shirt. There was just no justice in the world.

He sat down quickly, glancing at my two angry-looking bulldog guards who seemed to be casting their own dark and ominous shadows from nowhere.

"Hello, Taisho." I greeted politely.

He gave me a weak smile in return. "Hello. It's nice to see you again."

"Can't say I feel the same." My mouth pulled into a strained smile. "What did you want to talk about?" I wanted to get this over with quickly. The longer I stared at him, the stranger the feeling creeping up my neck.

He was more fidgety than the rest of us combined. He picked at his own hands, and pulled at his sleeves. "I wanted to apologize, for what it's worth."

I had been expecting something like that after a few hundred years in prison, but not so soon. "…why?" I asked slowly.

He picked a little more at his sleeve. I could see a frayed patch that seemed particularly worn – new nervous habit? He had been so confident the last time I saw him. But he picked and tugged at the fabric, clearing his throat a few times. "I, uh, I thought I was doing the right thing, at the time. She had my head all mixed up. But I'm alright now." He gestured a little around his head.

"She? Mishka?" I clarified.

He nodded. "It's hard to explain what she did – what she _can_ do." His eyes were pleading. They seemed to be a different color than I remembered – more orange than red. "That wasn't me – I _swear_. I know I'm still responsible, I suppose, but I just needed to say it."

"Okay." I replied slowly. I was still missing the whole point of my presence.

He leaned across the table, and a hand reached for mine. I snapped my hands off the table and Hiei snarled sharply. Taisho withdrew his hand. "_Please_, let me know what I can do – _anything_."

I shifted in my seat. "Tell me about the day I died."

He sighed, a lingering ecstasy accidentally creeping into the sigh. "It was the most beautiful day of my life, I'm sorry to say. There was this constant buzzing in my ears – blood rushing at the highest speeds through every inch of my body, and I was just filled with a constant sense of euphoria." He blinked slowly, dreamily. "I can still feel it, sometimes, when I think about it."

I waited patiently for him to continue speaking as he drifted out of a memory-high. He sighed again, and continued. "When I finally had the crystals, it was like … I imagine it's what holding your first child feels like." He flexed his fingers, clenching and stretching the digits like a cat looking for something to knead. "Mishka took a portal away with the – _your – _ heart almost immediately. I took the smaller stones, but when they started to dissolve…" He made a pained face. "Lord Urameshi managed to convince your friend not to kill me as soon as I dropped my shield – for which I am eternally grateful." He added quickly. Nobody smiled in response to his gratitude.

"I guess you would rather hear about the important bit, then." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "When I woke up in my cell for the first time, it was like a veil had been lifted from my mind – I could think clearly for the first time in years… and I realized what I had done. It only took one good night's sleep away from her influence to wash it out of my system." His expression was mournful, and genuinely remorseful. "Please believe me – that's not who I am. I'm not perfect, and not like a gentleman or anything, but I don't go around hunting helpless human women and stabbing people in the back."

"All the evidence points to the contrary." Kurama interjected.

Taisho shook his head vigorously. "I was living in a dream for the last… _three years_." He sounded both amazed and horrified by the number. "She was in my head, twisting my memories and thoughts and beliefs until I thought _I_ was in charge! I thought all these plans and careful steps were mine!" He laughed bitterly. "And now I'm going to live in a cell for the rest of the foreseeable future!"

I grimaced, and he was quick to apologize. "I'm happy you're not dead, really. I killed… so many. I'm glad to remove one red mark from my record. I'm happy that my freedom is the only thing lost in all of this."

_And my humanity_. I thought.

His voice trembled a little – the first real sign of weakness he let slip through."Please – how can I make this right? I've got all the time in the world – _what can I do_?"

I crossed my arms on the cold table, and leaned forward. Taisho leaned back slightly in response. I ground my teeth a little, and I fixed the demon across from me with what was a distinctly Hiei-like glare.

"Tell me how to catch her."

* * *

It took me a while to remember which key on the key ring opened my apartment. Why is it that key rings collect random keys? Spare keys, lost keys, unused keys. Hiei waited patiently, holding my overstuffed duffel with ease while I fumbled around with a jingling key ring.

You know how they say you can never go home again? It's totally true. My apartment felt like a different planet. The air wafting in from the outside as I opened windows smelled sickly sweet, almost nauseatingly so.

"Where do you want the bag?" Hiei asked, standing in the living room as I bustled around.

"On the bed is fine – I have to was it all once I unpack anyway." I said idly. Hiei vanished into the bedroom. I was almost surprised that there wasn't a giant wood chest sitting in the middle of my living room from Yomi. He promised to deliver it to Tourin, but I had half expected that he would make sure it was delivered to the Human World. I would have to ask Yusuke to bring it back with him.

I opened the fridge door with great trepidation, and surprisingly nothing was truly rotting. The milk jug looked like it was about ready to pop open – not a good sign – but whatever had gone bad hadn't leaked all over the fridge.

"I need to go to the grocery store." I called across the apartment, and Hiei appeared in the doorway of the bedroom. "It's not too far from here – you don't have to come with me. There's plenty to read, and you can relax for a bit."

"Hn. Fine." He shifted, leaning against the doorframe. "Don't run into any burning buildings." He smirked.

"Smartass." I muttered as I grabbed my keys, wallet, and phone. "I'll be back in an hour. Don't set anything on fire." I gave him a quick kiss, and dodged his attempts to capture me for a second kiss. I also ignored his annoyed growl, waving as I left him alone in my apartment.

I chuckled to myself as I trotted down the stairs, and out into the open air.

Japan was just as I had left it – if only a little bit colder. I could feel the chilly air, but it didn't bother me. I wasn't sure whether to attribute it to my Husband's power or my own new demonic traits. But source aside, I was enjoying the chill, and the pleasant sunshine.

The rest of the world seemed wrong, though. It was annoyingly loud; planes, trains, and automobiles, combined with the general thrum of the city. The air was clouded with general human _gunk_ of pollution, but the sickly sweet tinge of innocence. I still don't know how to describe what exactly that smells like. It smells like humans.

I can only guess that my displeasure at the strong scent of the air played on my face, and only exacerbated my chronic Resting Bitch Face, because I would almost _swear_ that people were crossing the street to avoid me on the sidewalk.

The grocery store was relatively quiet – a few mothers with children following along, and the odd person or two meandering in the narrow aisles. I grabbed a little basket instead of a cart – I only wanted a few perishables and something easy for dinner. _Milk, and maybe some fun treats to introduce to Hiei._ I thought with a smile.

I was lost in my thoughts, and my eternal distress at the overwhelming smells, hardly observing my surroundings. I really should have paid more attention, as I almost ran over a small child standing in the aisle next to me.

"Excuse me." A tiny hand tugged at my sleeve.

I jumped a little, blinking. "Yes, sweetie? Are you lost?" I crouched, setting the grocery basket on the floor. But as I came face-to-face with that little boy, I recognized his pudgy little cheeks, and short nose, and wide, curious eyes. My throat was seized with emotion.

"Do you remember me?" He asked, hand still on my sleeve.

I choked up a little, actually. "Of _course _I remember you. Your name is Shou, and you're a very brave boy."

He looked different in the clear light of day, but I could never forget that face, staring up at me through the haze of smoke, reaching up for me as a building threatened to crumble and roar in flames around us. The feeling of his arms around my neck, and a heavy, hot weight slamming against my back. Going down all those stairs. Watching him run, safe, into his mother's arms.

He rocked back and forth on those tiny little feet of his, chewing on his bottom lip. "My momma said I should always say thank you when someone does something nice."

I nodded, blinking tears from my eyes. "And your momma is right – but you don't need to thank me, sweetie." Without prompting or giving me a chance to think of refusing (not that I would) Shou hugged me with those tiny little arms, wrapping tight around my neck. It was the same as before – little arms full of love. My chest tightened painfully, overflowing at the edges.

"Shou!" His mother was calling – a few rows over, by my guess. He released me from the hug, and stepped back, rocking on his feet, and chewing his bottom lip.

"Don't let your momma worry, okay? Go catch up." I ruffled his hair, standing from my crouch.

"Thank you, Miss Aria." He smiled, and waved as he trotted down the aisle.

"Be safe, Shou." I murmured long after he was out of sight.

* * *

I walked with a much lighter step as I returned to the apartment, toting my groceries along. It does a body good to see that – even when surrounded by death and pain and horrible things – the choices you make can save someone's life.

I whistled a little to myself as I skipped up the stairs, bags swinging and thumping against my legs. It was easier finding the right key the second time around, and I bumped the door open with my hip.

"Honey, I'm home!" I called with a smile, setting the bags on the kitchen counter.

"You sound happier." Hiei replied. The scene was so domestic. Hiei was relaxing on my sofa, feet propped up on the opposite armrest, casually flipping through a book.

I nodded. "How do you feel about fish for dinner?"

"Sounds good."

The air was fairly silent as I put my groceries away, and Hiei continued to flip through his book. He was either a very fast reader or terribly disinterested in what he was reading. It was a peaceful silence, but somehow also tense. We were avoiding a very serious conversation – our future. Our adventure was coming to an end, and a long road of domesticity lay before us, stretching far ahead for hundreds of years.

It seemed indescribably awful.

Without a sound to alert him, Hiei looked up from his book, and he smiled at me. And I felt in that moment that it would all be okay – we could do this; we could be the happy domestic couple, buy a house out in the middle of nowhere and let Koenma hide the fact that the owners just seemed to live forever.

I said a silent prayer for whatever God might be listening. I hoped it wasn't Koenma. _Please_, I asked silently, _let this all work out. Haven't we been through enough already? _I leaned my forehead briefly against the fridge door as I put away the last of the groceries.

"What's wrong?" Hiei asked, sensing my distress.

I shook my head. "Nothing, darlin'."

He set his book aside and gestured for me. "Come here."

I smiled, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. He reached over the side of the sofa, and pushed a button on my thrift-store cd-player. My apartment was filled swiftly with a light jazz, warm and soothing.

I laughed, taking his hand as he stood from the sofa. "How did you-?" I stopped, spotting the manual for the 90's-era boombox was tucked under the couch cushion. I laughed again.

"Dance with me." Hiei purred, his spare hand slipping around my waist. We swayed around the living room, cheek to cheek, heart to heart. He held my one hand close to his chest (poor dance form, but very sweet), and his second hand stroked my spine gently. My spare hand was draped loosely on his shoulder.

"You know that I love you?" He whispered quietly in my ear.

"I do." I sighed happily.

"Hn. Good."

We continued to dance in the living room long after the CD ran out of songs, and we danced together, cheek to cheek, heart to heart.

* * *

A/N: I appreciate everyone's patience as I draw this all to a close. There will be one heck of a final finale in their attempt to bring Mishka to justice. I'm really excited to write that part, but I had to write this part first, and you all know how I feel about writing tedium.


	46. Chapter 46 - Game Day

A/N: Hello readers! I find I funny that I got comments about how I was writing about Hiei and Aria's trepidation about the horrors of domestic life. But – _honestly - _ can you really imagine Hiei settling down in a little house with a dog and a picket fence? _Really?_ I definitely can't. And I don't think that's what Aria wants either.

You all have no idea how tempting it is to just post my outline for the chapter and say "here's what you need to know from this boring-ass chapter. Can we get to the good stuff now?" But no, I toil away instead.

* * *

It's a different kind of packing experience when you're preparing for both surveillance and combat. Sure, you need sleep gear, and socks, and your typical creature comforts, but it all has to fit into a small backpack. And you need to be prepared to dump that bag on the ground at any moment, and never see it again – so don't put anything you _really_ like in there.

I kept packing and unpacking the back, removing extra pairs of socks and packing a little travel pillow. Then I would remove the pillow and stuff a travel hammock. Then I would squish all the objects around, trying to make them smaller or lighter. Hiei didn't bother packing a thing – I'm sure he would never need to actually carry supplies in the Makai, save for his katana and cloak. He just seemed to amuse himself watching me pack.

Once satisfied with the various objects I had chosen to carry, I set about actually changing from my pajamas into "adventuring clothes" – jeans, t-shirt, flannel overshirt. I had just pulled on my socks and was about to grab my hiking sneakers when Hiei spoke up.

"Wait." Hiei stopped me before I could stand from the bed.

"What's up? I don't get to wear shoes today?" I wiggled my socked feet.

He reached back under his cloak, to where he always attached his katana sheath to his belt. He withdrew a sheathed knife in an odd sort of sheath. He knelt in front of me on the ground, and lifted my foot to rest on his knee.

"Wear this at all times." He smoothed the denim down, and strapped the knife sheath to my calf. "Pull at this strap," he demonstrated "to release the hilt." He pulled the knife out of the sheath. The blade was as thin as a letter-opener, and only as long as my hand, but it looked wickedly sharp. "Don't show anyone you have a weapon until you're close enough to use it. Do you have boots that will cover it?"

I nodded. "Motorcycle boots. Knee-high."

"Show me." He set my foot on the ground, and I padded to the closet pulling out my boots. I tugged them on my feet, and zipped up the sides. I turned once to show Hiei that the knife was well covered.

"Try pulling the knife out." He had me practice a few times clasping and unclasping the safety strap on the hilt, and removing the knife without accidentally stabbing myself in the calf.

"Satisfied?" I asked, tucking the knife back into my boot.

"Don't do anything stupid." He added.

His gaze remained fixed on me as I puttered around the apartment, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything. I caught him, and smiled as he glanced elsewhere, pretending he hadn't been staring.

"Are you worried?" I asked softly, still with a smile.

I could feel his anxiety, as well as his desire to brush off my question. He shifted uncomfortably, and I squeezed his arm. "It's ok. I am too."

I shouldered my little pack, and turned off the lights as I exited each room, making sure I hadn't left water running, or a stove-top on. I rarely took the time to go through those motions, and I absently wondered if I was stalling. I couldn't put a finger on why.

"Hurry up." Hiei urged.

I hesitated in the door. My cell phone was buzzing on the countertop – it didn't make any sense to bring it with me o the Makai, but the urge to pick it up was still strong, nonetheless.

"Just a second." I told Hiei. I trotted to the counter, and picked up the phone. Kichi was calling.

I powered down the little buzzing device, and set it back down on the counter.

"Don't want to waste battery." I offered as an explanation as I joined Hiei outside, and locked the door behind us.

* * *

The stairs of Genkai's temple flew by quickly under my light feet. I was stronger every day, and faster, too. I was breathing a little faster at the top of the stairs, but hadn't broken a sweat. Hiei shot me an approving glance.

That look swiftly fell into his typical scowl as the sounds of a familiar argument drifted over the courtyard. Yusuke and Kuwabara were locked in a brawl – Yusuke winning by a clear margin, but going easy on his human foe – and Kurama standing cooly to one side, chatting with Botan.

"Good morning." I greeted politely, worming into their conversation.

"Good morning!" Botan chimed, drowning out Kurama's quieter greeting. She was positively bouncing on her feet with energy – but when wasn't she? There were times I wish I had her enthusiasm, but mine was limited to fire and botany.

Speaking of which. "Oh! I almost forgot… again." I yelled suddenly. I shucked my bag, and shuffled around inside for a minute. After a few moments of searching, I pulled the borrowed library book from its depths. "I meant to give this to you sooner, but I just kept forgetting… sorry."

"Don't worry." He chuckled. He set the book on the porch. "I will return it as soon as we finish our mission."

"Are we waiting on anyone?" I asked, more than ready to get on the road, so to speak.

"Just you; our portal should be – ah, there it is." As Kurama spoke, our portal to the Spirit World spun into existence on the front lawn. It was always a surreal experience watching it appear – from a tiny point of darkness (almost like a stuck pixel) in the air, it sort of spun like a galaxy, or a hurricane, expanding in the air.

I approached without the usual trepidation, ready to jump through. I saw a flicker of black as Hiei jumped through ahead of me – he wasn't about to let me go through a portal alone ever again. He would always need to go through first, and check the safety of the surroundings, just in case.

I knew it would be a residual worry in his mind probably for the rest of your life. I wondered if demons could get PTSD. Seeing the person you love most in the world dead, cut open and blood drained. _Gone_. I really couldn't imagine how he felt in that moment, or the weeks that followed.

I stepped out of the portal before I realized it, having been lost in thought the entire time. I was accustomed to ending up outside the Spirit World gates, so I was a little disoriented when instead I stepped directly into Koenma's office.

Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke followed me shortly, and a quick glance around the room revealed Hiei leaning up against a wall behind me. I smiled – on reflex, honestly – and tried to pay direct my attention to the matter at hand.

_Well Sir,_ I thought, _here we are again_. Koenma was talking but I wasn't really listening.

My life was a constant hurricane of action and adventure and near-death (or full-death) experiences. I was always headed somewhere – towards answers, towards vengeance, towards… something. Ever onwards.

I was of two minds about that life. On one hand, I loved it. I was definitely never bored, and I continued to challenge my personal limits, as well as expanding my own understanding of the world (worlds?) around me at an accelerated rate. And it gave me something in common with my mate – my husband – and I think my own enjoyment of the adventure gave him some dark pleasure.

On the other hand, I had died twice already, and wasn't keen to go for a third try at staving off the reaper. A little part of my human mind wanted a quiet part of the world, with a little house, and a big room with a lot of books. I wanted to sit quietly and read for days at a time, maybe pick up painting or something.

But that part of my mind was very small, and growing smaller every day. My veins hummed with the thrill of the hunt, and I bounced a little on my feet to ease my desire to fidget.

Hiei shot me a look that told me I was bouncing too much, and I stopped. I tried to bring my mind back to the conversation – Koenma was talking about our plan to catch Mishka.

"Did Taisho have any tips on where to start dropping hints?" I asked, pretending that I had been following the conversation.

A vein twitched on Koenma's forehead and he leaned forward on his desk. "Haven't you been listening at all?"

I shrugged sheepishly, and he sighed. "There's a tavern in the middle of nowhere that is frequented by mercenaries. I have no doubt she'll hear of the stone's presence there within a few hours of your arrival, regardless of who you speak to."

I mulled that over in my head for a moment, before a new concern sparked to life. "Isn't Mishka going to know this is a trap? I mean… I think these guys are pretty well-known by now…" I gestured widely to Kuwabara, Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei.

"We're getting some help with that, actually."

On that very dramatic queue, the wide office doors opened.

"Aria, this is Touya, and Jin."

They were obviously demons. One was short, with slicked-back ice-blue hair, and a stray green lock. His eyes were flat, and his expression seemed to have no affect. His companion, on the other hand, was bursting with life at the seams. His wild orange hair almost hid a tiny pearly white horn peeking out. His pointed ears wiggled wildly as he spotted Yusuke.

Before I could greet the wild man, he jumped across the room to greet Yusuke, and the two laughed, Yusuke trying to lock him in a headlock and the red-head continuing to evade him.

"Jin! How'ya been, man?" Yusuke laughed.

"We've been trainin' all o'er the place, don't'cha know!" Jin replied, throwing a few mock punches.

"Uh-hello. Thank you for helping us." I bowed to the flat-affect demon I could only presume to be Touya.

He blinked at me slowly, seemingly indifferent. I thought he was going to ignore me entirely before he spoke. "We answer when Urameshi and Kurama call."

_Wow._ I thought. He said it so matter-of-fact that I could practically _hear_ the history behind that statement. _What's the story there?_ I asked Hiei.

_Later. Pay attention._ He answered. I pouted a little, but that didn't make him talk. Darn.

It didn't help my pout that Hiei was right – Koenma was discussing important details again. "Touya is going to sell the Bloodstone to Mishka. She's out of portals since leaving the cave by the sea, so we can catch her as she leaves the sale." He shared a resolute stare with Hiei. "This is the end of the road for Mishka."

I caught the missing detail from that little plan. "And Jin?" I asked. The aforementioned demon's ears set to wiggling at the mention of his name. He grinned widely, and waved at me. Being only ten feet away from him, I waved back, a little confused by his enthusiasm.

"Around as a precaution." Koenma said dismissively. _A precaution for what? _Koenma moved on quickly before I could ask.

I didn't like how quickly this whole meeting was going. Sure, my train of thought kept leading me away daydreaming, but I was getting pretty sour. Was this how things usually went when we were preparing for a mission? I didn't really remember it that way, but I chose to blame in on my hot new demon blood, calling for vengeance.

Koenma opened the lid of a large wood box on his desk that I hadn't paid much attention to during our mission briefings. My breath caught a little as he withdrew the large, familiar Bloodstone that we had created all that time ago. We had made it in Spirit World – taken a bag of my blood and poured it into the toxin. It had made that beautiful, glowing crystal.

It looked different than I remembered, somehow. I couldn't put my finger on it. I drifted my sense of confusion over my connection with Hiei. His gaze flickered to me. _It's not you anymore. _He answered my silent question. _You're a demon now. That's human energy._

Koenma slipped the crystal into a nondescript burlap sack, concealing the subtle glow. "Please be careful with this." Koenma handed over the bag very gingerly to the expressionless demon.

Touya took the bag with equal respect. "I will." He promised.

There was a moment of silence and slight tension in the room. My personal opinion is that the ridiculousness of what we were about to attempt finally sank in.

I tried to break the silence. "You know – if you decide you don't like us you could probably just sell it and head for the hills." I laughed weakly. I got strange looks all around. "I say bad things when I'm nervous." I muttered.

"Be safe." Koenma commanded, thought I liked to think of it as a blessing, and a large portal burst into life against the far wall of his office.

_Here we go._

* * *

We split up as soon as we stepped through the portal; Touya took off in the direction of the tavern, and the rest of us headed for the cover of a nearby crop of trees. To my surprise, Jin followed my group. "Aren't you going with Touya?" I asked Jin.

"I'm just makin' sure everything's hunky-dory in the hidin' place before I head up!" He spoke so swiftly I had to run it through a few times in my head to process the sentence. _Up?_

"Up where?" I asked.

"'Tis a surprise, ya see!" He grinned cheekily, and his ears wiggled wildly. Kurama chuckled lightly, and Hiei rolled his eyes. Yusuke shot Jin a thumbs-up. "We're good here. Head on up!"

A wild wind picked up from absolutely nowhere, almost pushing me backwards, and lifted the odd demon off his feet. I gaped in amazement, and Jin's grin only widened. He laughed deep in his chest – a great, booming sound of joy – and spread his arms wide. He ascended into the air with spectacular speed, vanishing as a tiny speck high above.

"Wow…" I murmured, craning my head back so far it nearly snapped, trying to fix my eye on the tiny spot that was Jin.

"He's always been a bit of a showoff." Kuwabara laughed, clapping me on the shoulder. "Just think about how hard it is to fight someone like that!" I paled at the thought.

"And Touya?" I asked. "Does he fly, too?"

"Touya is an Ice master." Hiei supplied.

"Did you two ever fight, during the tournament?" I asked my husband.

He smirked. "If we had, I imagine it would have been rather explosive. No – he was pitted against Kurama for the Dark Tournament, and was beaten in the King's Tournament before he crossed paths with any of us."

I wondered what an attack from an Ice master would look like. For that matter, what did an attack from a wind demon look like? My head hurt. Matter and energy didn't seem to follow normal rules for demons – any element or ability could be turned into a weapon.

Or rather – the thought occurred to me – perhaps there were demons born with undesirable abilities, but they were easily picked off by those who used their talents to protect themselves, and make a living. It was a true survival of the fittest.

We set up camp. Emphasis on the "up". It made the most sense for us to camp up in the thick trees just across the way from the mercenaries' tavern. It was almost out of sight, but far enough away that no one seemed to wander in its direction; they preferred to stay within shouting range of the bartender.

That did mean that while we were waiting for news of the Bloodstone to disseminate, we were going to be sleeping in trees.

Hiei picked our tree – I really had no idea what to look for in a sleeping tree. Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Kurama vanished into the forest, presumably to spread out our view a little, and find their own resting places.

I was glad to have packed my little travel hammock – it compressed to the size of a loaf of bread, and had honestly been an impulse purchase many months ago. "These are some luxurious digs we have here." I laughed to myself, easing into the hammock.

Hiei made a face. "Not like I can haul a mattress into a tree."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Don't mock me. And I was serious – I've always loved sleeping outdoors. I used to dream about what it would like to be a modern-day nomad." I sighed. "But life doesn't work like that, or so I was told a few hundred times. You need a job, and a place to sleep that isn't in a tree, and health insurance… you need a lot of things." Hiei shot me a strange look. "I'll stop talking now." I muttered.

We sat in silence for a while, me nibbling on a protein bar and swinging my feet over the sides of the hammock. The dark was settling, and I shivered a little. Nights in the Makai could get quite chilly.

Hiei noticed my shiver. "Do you need a blanket?" He asked.

I tried to make an adorable face. "Not if you cuddle with me."

"Hn." He handed me his cloak. I pouted. "I have to stand watch." He supplied.

I wrapped myself in his cloak. "Where are the others?"

"Nearby. Use your ears – the oaf breathes so loud it's a miracle no one else hears him." He was silent while I tested out my demonic senses. I had to close my eyes to focus, and ignore an itch on my leg. My own breathing was very loud. Hiei's was barely audible, even when I was focusing on listening.

I could head Yusuke, and Kurama, and the great leafblower of breathing that was Kuwabara. I could hear great gulps of air moving in and out of his lungs, and he was at least a hundred feet away.

"My god, he is loud." I muttered, shifting in the hammock. "Was I that bad?"

"Nearly."

I snickered, trying to imagine Hiei ignoring the sound of a leafblower in his ear whenever he sat next to me. It only got more comical from there.

But then I wondered what else Hiei ignored for my sake."Hiei?"

His eyes were glowing in the deepening gloom of the evening. "Hn."

"Do you _want _to live in the Human World?"

There was a long silence.

"You should sleep."

And darkness settled firmly around us.

I slept fitfully for a while, convinced that every sound was a giant throat-grabbing demon coming to kill me. Sharp claws, grabbing hands, and knives whose hearts glowed like coals haunted me. Wide, owl-like eyes that were pale, pale lavender opened in the misty shadows of my nightmare. They overhung the whole world, bigger than the moon, and growing larger. She could see everything; me, running, my fears, my dreams, my heart. She wanted my heart. I didn't have a heart anymore.

I ran endlessly, feet bleeding on the ground. The ground was made of nothing but broken glass. It was also screaming.

Someone shook me gently in the dead of night.

"Wake up. It's time."

* * *

I went from sleepy confusion to full three-cups-of-coffee wakefulness in the span of about a second. I almost fell out of the tree in my attempt to get out of the hammock in the same time span. Kuwabara caught my arm – Hiei and I were no longer alone in the tree. It had gotten quite crowded, actually. Kurama's keen green eyes glittered in the darkness, and I know I saw a slight red tinge to Yusuke's eyes.

Yusuke was a different creature when he was in command. His very presence demanded absolute respect and authority. He turned his resolute stare from the faint lights around the tavern to glance back at his tiny army. "Here we go."

I could barely see anything from my spot in the tree. If I squinted and turned my head just so, I could just make out shapes in the darkness. The little lights around the tavern helped a little, but I found myself blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear my vision. It took a few moments for me to dare to trust my eyes. "Am I seeing things, or did Mishka bring a lot of backup?"

"Ten A-class demons." Kurama confirmed, nodding.

Mishka was almost completely concealed by her massive bodyguards. I could just make out her pale hair in the starlight every few seconds when her guards shifted around. _My god, are we prepared for this?_ I wondered, and further wondered how she had managed to amass that kind of support.

My stomach dropped at a sudden realization. "What are the odds any of them are doing this willingly?"

"Not good, lassie." I jumped, started. Jin was watching the scene play out over my shoulder. I knew we had a full complement of our little army, but when had he dropped out of the sky?

"When the hell did you get here?" I hissed.

"Oh, hours ago, my little snoring princess!" He grinned toothily.

"I do _not _snore!" I cried.

"Well I beg to differ; my poor little ears were begging me tah fly far, far away." He sighed, massaging one ear delicately.

"Shut up back there!" Kuwabara whispered as loudly as he could.

"Sorry." We both whispered at the same time.

Touya came out of the tavern, carrying a familiar sack. His hair was almost as visible as Mishka's in the light. He hesitated when he saw her escort, but he strode through it easily. He shouted something to Mishka, and she responded, but we were just too far away to hear.

"I wish we could hear what they're saying…" I muttered, only to be shushed by three people at once. I bit my tongue.

There were several tense minutes of the silent-movie-without-captions dialogue, only viewed from way too far away. I tried to shake the feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong. There was no way that this was going to go as well as we hoped.

I held my breath as – I swear to god – I thought Mishka glanced in our direction. Not a full head-to-one-side glance, but just a twitch of her head. It got my skin crawling.

"Yusuke-" I tried to get his attention.

"Wait." He commanded.

They made the hand-off. Touya gave her the Bloodstone sack, and received a much smaller one – money or gold or something, I could only assume.

"Get ready." Someone whispered.

I couldn't get rid of that lingering awful feeling. It was a tickle on the back of my neck, and a crawling sensation in my stomach.

_Hiei - something's wrong… _I sent to Hiei, but cut myself short. Mishka glanced in our direction. I was sure of it this time. I had stared at her for long enough to know when she was just flicking her hair out of her face, and when she was looking at something.

She had looked our way.

She _knew_.

"_Yusuke-"_ I yelled, and he looked back to me finally, opening his mouth to yell, but it was too late.

The forest exploded behind us.

I wouldn't be able to tell you how many more huge demons appeared from the darkness behind us, but it was at least as many as Mishka had as her personal guard. Following the initial explosion, there was a flurry of fists, glowing energies, and mass confusion.

I only sat in its midst for maybe two seconds, ears still ringing from the explosion. I was grabbed firmly around the waist, and shoved into someone's arms. "Get her out of here!" a gruff voice commanded, and the bottom shot out of my stomach as the earth fell away beneath me.

I yelped, and then I outright yelled as the ground grew smaller with startling speed. I clawed at the hands holding me, unsure whether I wanted them to release me or hold me tighter. "Ye' better hold still, little miss, or else you're gonna fall mighty quick!"

"Jin! What's going on?!" I cried, finally remembering that it was our ally who had that remarkable ability.

"Don't'cha worry 'bout it; this'll all be over in no time!" Jin didn't have much of a soothing or pacifying voice, but the fact that he seemed so nonchalant about my friends' assured easy victory was intended to ease my fears, I'm sure.

But I had eyes, too. We were high up, but the quick explosive blasts from Yusuke's Spirit Gun, Kuwabara's sword, and Hiei's demonic fires lit up the stage below.

They were having a difficult time fighting – something was wrong, for sure. Mishka's horde weren't spectacular fighters, but my friends were taking a beating. They seemed to be just a step behind, or a foot unsure, and were just walking into the attacks…

But Mishka was barely guarded. She stood at the center of it all, arms spread wide, eyes shut tight in concentration… playing with her little puppets.

I started writhing in Jin's arms again, trying to do god only knows what "Take me down there!" I demanded.

Jin's grip was iron, but his face was openly concerned. "I donnae think that's a good plan-"

I wriggled in just the right direction to be able to reach into my boot. I grabbed my little knife from its sheath and held it right next to one of Jin's twitchy ears in a flash as quick as lightning. He froze instantly.

I spoke quietly; dangerously. "You bring me down there right now or I'm going to cut off your ear, you got me?"

* * *

A/N: I was sorely tempted to cut this chapter short in order to give you content faster, but there wasn't any real value in giving you half a chapter. It wasn't fulfilling, and wouldn't have satisfied anyone. But then I got a sudden burst of inspiration and wrote about 1,500 words all at once!

TWO CHAPTERS LEFT.

And an epilogue (so, three, technically).

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!


	47. Chapter 47 - Game On

I woke in an unfamiliar way in a familiar room. I shifted; uncomfortable in my own skin. I was too warm. The bed I had slept in for three years was too soft, and the sheets I had bought last winter were the wrong texture. I heard a sigh behind me on the bed, and a familiar arm that was too large wrapped around my waist. Warm breath tickled the back of my neck. I shied away from that sensation, and fought the reflex at the same time. I always woke up like that – there was no reason it should have bothered me that morning.

I grunted as I tried to swim my way out of bed. Things like that are difficult when you're _extremely_ pregnant."And... _hup!"_ I murmured as I finally maneuvered myself up and out of bed. My hands grasped at my swollen belly. My very pregnant belly. I smoothed my nightdress over the bulge in a familiar movement, and felt a familiar kick in return.

"Good morning, ya little monster." I whispered to my child. I massaged my belly as I walked, trying to soothe the kicking. "Shh… shh… we'll eat soon."

I remembered the floor being colder than it was. Old growth oak floors in January were never exactly _toasty_, but John had never wanted to cover them with carpets. I figured that once the baby was crawling, he would give in.

I punched the 'on' button on the coffeemaker as I walked into the kitchen. I couldn't have real coffee, but the machine would boil water for decaf tea just fine. It was nice to live in a real house, and not an apartment. The farmhouse-style rancher was small, but John had been working hard to make the spare bedroom into a beautiful nursery. We had argued about the paint color for a while before finally compromising with green.

I moved with automaticity around the kitchen, trying to put a finger on why it was so difficult to remember where everything was kept. Nothing had moved in the night, and everything was where I had left it the night before.

The night before?

What had happened the night before?

I shook my head a little to clear it, and blamed it on the pregnancy hormones. I would be more alert once I had something warm to drink. As I turned around, I bumped into the kitchen counter edge for about the tenth time, this time managing to bump my funny bone. I hissed in discomfort, rubbing at my elbow.

My future child, at the same time, kicked me hard in the rib. I hunched over, grunting. I lay my head on the cool marble countertop, not trying to stand up straight just yet. It felt so good, and so familiar, but in a déjà vu sort of way. I couldn't recall standing like this in the kitchen before, or any kitchen. The feeling grew stronger, and I found it increasingly difficult to catch my breath. The fierce sensation of discomfort grew larger and stronger, and I wondered briefly if my unborn child had somehow snapped a rib or two.

The feeling engulfed my whole body with sticky fingers, oozing like snail slime across my skin and sinking deep into flesh. I was in pain, and discomfort, and somehow disoriented in my skin. I felt like I had been assembled out of order.

I was clutching the edge of the counter, trying to steady my mind. My head on the cool counter top didn't help – something was pressing at my memory, fighting to remind me of something I couldn't place. My head was pounding. Something was wrong, wrong, _wrong_.

I lifted my head from the countertop against the psychic weight of a thousand 18-wheelers, and reached across the countertop, fingers splayed wide. _Just… a little more_… I was sweating with the exertion. I grasped the hand-carved knife handle tightly with my right arm, and with as much force as I could muster, plunged it hilt-deep into my shoulder.

I screamed in agony, tears instantly bursting from my eyes and nearly obscuring the fruits of my labor. The room around me was buckling like waves of heat. I jerked the knife sharply to one side – there was oddly no blood around the wound – and the room around me shattered completely, splintering away into a million pieces, all glimmering in a great and terrible _nothing._

* * *

My head was on the ground, rough rocks scraping against my face. It hurt, and it felt real. I must have fallen into my hallucination almost as soon as Jin set me down on the ground. The wind demon was nowhere in my vicinity – I could only assume he had joined the maelstrom of battle surrounding me us.

Who was this 'us', you ask?

A certain fair-haired, pale-eyed demoness was not one hundred feet away from me, her arms spread wide, eyes shut tight in concentration. It was an impossible coincidence, but there she was.

I tried to be stealthy in moving from my prone position. I'll give you one guess how that feet scraped on the ground; heavy and sluggish. Mishka's head lowered, and lavender eyes turned on me.

And in that moment, she knew.

And I knew.

She was going to die.

I had barely gotten to my feet when her eyes flashed, and I swear my head split in two in utter agony. I had come undone in the middle, I was certain, and would quickly fall apart into two halves of one Aria.

"Mommy! Mommy!" a little voice cried, the sound carrying far across the Temple yard. I looked up from my book and squinted against the sudden shock of sunlight.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" I already had a headache from glancing only briefly into the sun, but the cure was coming. My beautiful daughter threw herself into my lap, and I saw her new white sundress was already mud-smeared and grass-stained. I frowned a little – it had barely been two days since Botan gave her that dress, and it had already been 'broken in' in the usual fashion.

But all was forgiven when I saw how bright and happy her purple eyes were. She held up her clasped, cupped hands. "I found a bug!"

"Did _you_ find the bug, or did Daddy try to scare you again?" I grinned cheekily, but it couldn't compare to the bubbly ball of energy in my lap.

"I founded it!" She tossed a curly black lock of hair out of her eyes, and lifted her hands higher. "It's _green!_ An' it's got _claws!"_

I repositioned her on my lap, and tucked her head under my chin so I could see her hands better."Oooo, sounds cool – let's see!"

She slowly opened her little fingers, revealing the praying mantis she had captured. It flexed little raptor arms, poking at her fingers and withdrawing quickly when they twitched. My daughter blinked widely as tiny yellow eyes stared back at her. She giggled in delight.

But the time came to release the mantis from my daughter's clutches. "Okay, it's time to let it go."

We released the mantis back into the bushes, and it quickly vanished. My daughter followed soon after, her green-stained white dress surprisingly good camouflage for Genkai's forest.

"Do you know she already kills the demons in the forest?" Genkai's gravelly voice was a welcome surprise. The old woman walked with a cane almost regularly now, although she could still whip most of us.

I frowned a little. "She knows she's not supposed to. I'll ask Hiei to talk to her again."

She grunted. "Where is that irritable old man, anyway?"

"Probably off somewhere plotting yet another way to attempt to terrorize our daughter. He has yet to succeed." I grinned just a little. She was so fearless.

Genkai interrupted my thoughts, I turned quickly as her voice had taken a strange tone. "Aria, where is Hiei?" Her voice was louder, younger, and stronger. She wasn't leaning on her cane anymore.

A sharp wind blew, but nothing around us moved – I could only hear the sharp whistling sound and a feeling of a coming storm.

"_Where is Hiei?!" _Her voice was as loud as thunder, and echoed all around me – in the air, inside my head. It never grew softer, only louder, and sharper, and fiercer.

I covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out the noise. I felt blood slip between my fingers – my eardrums had ruptured but she was still drowning me in sound.

Genkai's face morphed into my own, wide blue eyes screaming as loud as her mouth.

_WHERE IS HIEI_

_WHERE_

_WHERE IS HIEI_

_WHERE_

_WHERE_

_WHERE_

* * *

My head slammed into a sharp rock, and my head started bleeding profusely. The fine dirt stung in the open wound. My head was swimming. I could taste copper and blood in my mouth, and my nose was definitely bleeding. I shook my head, trying to clear the buzzing from my ears.

Mishka was so small-looking. She was short – smaller than me, even – and her eyes were wide with terror.

So much of her power and concentration was focused on the battle that encircled us – she controlled her own horde, and threw some confounding effect on my friends. It was just the two of us, trapped in a circle of Hell.

We were surrounded by an absolute chaos of fire and destruction. Even now I wouldn't be able to tell you what precisely was going on. I was vaguely aware of the constant barrage of explosions and cries of fury and pain that echoed all around us, but I wouldn't be able to tell you if they were produced by friend or foe.

I was perfectly focused on my goal. I stepped again towards Mishka. She didn't move an inch – she had so much energy focused on the Hell around us; I was amazed at her power. But – with all that power – she had still managed to trap herself.

To escape me, she had very few options. One – she could redirect one of her demons to carry her away, but that would mean that demon's opponent would be free to attack _her_. Two – she could try to flee on her own, but she would have to walk quite literally through a gauntlet of fire and destruction. Or three – She could try to fool my mind with an illusion, and wait for her demons to kill enough opponents for her to escape.

I took another few shaky steps toward her, blood spattering loudly and profusely on the ground. Her eyes flashed wider as another explosion rocked the ground beneath our feet, and the shockwave flashed her hair back in a sudden breeze.

I rolled over in bed, and tried to bury my face deeper into the pillows to hide from the beam of light shining in my face. The bed was warm, and my pillows deep. All I wanted was six more hours of sleep, and maybe a cookie.

Light music floated through the air, adding to an almost ethereal quality of the morning. A certain someone had left the bedroom door open when he got up that morning, and I think that music was supposed to be a come-hither.

I rolled out of bed, and slipped into a warm robe – the air was still a bit too nippy to walk around in nothing but a nightshirt. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror – tattooed, tanned, and glowing with happiness. I combed quick fingers through sleep-mussed hair, my wedding rings glittering in the light.

I followed the sweet music down the hall, the volume directing me to the kitchen. It was a sweet yellow color – I had insisted on painting over the awful sterile white the moment we bought the house.

I leaned in the doorway to the kitchen, just watching Hiei stand at the stove. It was a pretty picture, and rather enjoyable. I think he was cooking pancakes. I sighed deeply, wearily. It was only with great strength of will that I did not hesitate when he turned.

The eyes were beautiful, and as amazing as ever. I took my concealed knife and plunged it deep into his chest.

His heartbreak and agony did not strike me – they were not real. I could watch dispassionately as he died alone on the floor, and the walls broke around me once more.

* * *

I was still standing when I returned to the world. I was a monster; blood streaming down my face from my head, from my eyes, and from my nose. I clenched my fists so tightly that my fingernails pierced the soft flesh of my palms, and those bled, too.

"Do you really think I don't know my own husband?" I cried out, my power flaring with my fury. Like a muscle hidden somewhere inside my soul, I could flex it, and if I pushed _just so_, the air around me pulsed. "_My_ _mate?!_" My rage was palpable; bright coils of energy flowed from my body, and crept along the ground like a subtle smoldering wildfire.

"You can't trap me in my mind – there's no world you can build that will trick me again!" I laughed boldly. "You can't keep me in there without Hiei, and you can't _hope_ to replicate him."

I reached into my boot, withdrawing the needle-like knife. "Just hearing him _breathe_, I will know if he is true."

She gaped a little, and then her face quickly switched from surprise to anger. She clenched her fists, mirroring me.

"You ruined everything!" She roared. "I have spent hundreds of years hunting your kind, and I have never had this much… _trouble!_"

"Trouble? _Trouble?!_" I stabbed at her sharply with my knife, and she leapt out of the way, quick as lightning. I knew she would, but it felt so satisfying to try. "I'm _so sorry_ that you've been _inconvenienced!_"

Her eyes flashed with fury. "I gave you a good death! I have not always been as kind to subjects as _difficult_ as you!"

A gap in the circle of fire and destruction opened up to my left, and I saw her eyes flicker over. She hesitated a moment too long, and I put myself between her and the tiny gap.

"This is _it!_" I yelled. "There's nowhere to hide. Surrender to Spirit World." My declaration sounded hollow even to me. I wanted her to say no. I wanted her to fight, and kick, and scream. I wanted her to suffer, as I had suffered.

I wanted to cut her heart out.

I squeezed the handle on my knife tighter, and Mishka's eyes locked briefly on the blade. I saw fear, but only for a moment.

"Surrender." I ordered.

She shifted again, looking for another gap, another way out, another way to get _away_.

She glanced at my knife again, and then again at the gap. Her eyes fixed on mine. "I-"

The gap behind me turned very suddenly into a violent explosion. I don't know what happened, but the debris shot out like bullets – small rocks ricocheted on the ground, and a few stabbed deep into the flesh of my back. I hardly felt it.

I did know, from the look in Mishka's eyes, that the gap was now too wide for me to hold.

_Game on_.

She lunged for the gap, and I darted to mirror her. She ducked and weaved, but she would never be as swift as Hiei. It was easy to plot her movements, and predict her course. She bolted for it.

I grabbed her around the neck as she tried to slip by me, effectively clotheslining her. She dropped like a rock, but swept my feet out from underneath me. She was fast – so fast. There was a wildness in her eyes that only comes out when one is fueled by true desperation.

I kicked her away from me when she lunged for my throat. She snarled, and pounced again. I felt long nails claw at my face, and scratch deep gouges along my chest and neck. She was sitting on my chest – much heavier than I expected given her tiny frame – and long fingers wrapped around my throat.

Asphyxiation goes surprisingly quickly. For that reason, I abandoned all of my "gentle combat" techniques in lieu of not dying.

I've also always been amazed by how much of physical training your body can remember long after your brain has kicked the information out to store that one actor's name who played a character on _The West Wing_.

I punched her swiftly, and sharply, in the throat. Crunch. I followed that with a thumb in each eye, and as she screamed in both surprise and pain, her grip loosened. I seized her thumb, forcing into a thumb lock, and shoved her arm back. Pain forces us to do lots of things we don't want to do. A thumb lock will have you dancing a pretty pirouette and singing _I'm a little teapot_ if that's what the person holding said thumb wants. Finicky little digit, thumbs are.

Now we were reversed – I was he one sitting on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. But I didn't bother with fingers and strangulation. I held the tip of my tiny knife right under her eye. I didn't bother with throats – if you can't see the knife, it just doesn't seem as dangerous. But in front of your _eye – _there's no doubting how much _shit_ you're in, or how serious the knife wielder is.

"Don't. Move." I ground. I really wanted her to move. I wanted to stab her in the eye. I _really_ did.

But she didn't move.

"Make them stop." I commanded.

"They'll kill me." She whimpered.

"I won't let them. That right is reserved for _me_ in the end." I would decide later whether or not I _would_ kill her, but the choice would be _mine_. "Release your hold on them, and surrender. Or I will kill you now."

She hesitated. I stabbed her in the shoulder. "_Now._" I demanded, as soon as she stopped screaming.

The chaos around us ceased very suddenly. The fire diminished, and I heard far-off cries of confusion. It was very anticlimactic. Violence ended, and fire died, and a painful hush descended. The silence pressed harshly at my ears.

It was the end.

* * *

A/N: Dear readers, did it go how you expected? Please review! There will be a final chapter, and an epilogue.


	48. Chapter 48 - The End, and Epilogue

A/N: Wow… did everyone really hate the last chapter? Only one review? Ouch.

* * *

_I Surrender._ Bitter, and yet sweet. Mishka sat very quietly, with my bloody knife pointed at her eye, for almost an hour while Koenma's Spirit Defense Force got their shit together to pick her up. We were not approached. We were the only beings in a very small universe. I think the others might have been afraid to startle me, and I would then murder Mishka. So we weren't approached.

There was a portal. There were men and women in a strange uniform that I only assumed could be the SDF. They took Mishka from me. They took the demons she had controlled, who were still wandering around, moderately confused.

The ground around us was essentially destroyed. I wondered if anyone at the tavern would plant a strangely circular garden in the explosively-tilled soil. It would be great for tomatoes. Would tomatoes grow in the Makai?

Someone had their hand on my shoulder. It was Hiei. If it had been anyone else, I'm sure it would have been accompanied by a snarl from said fire demon.

"Is that it? Is it over?" I asked – almost whispering.

"Yes." I don't know who said it.

It was so anticlimactic. I wanted it to have more meaning than just my life – I wanted it to have broader implications, to have been about something important – like saving all of the Makai, or preserving the future of … something something. But it was just me. It was my peace of mind.

"How long did it take?" It felt like years. I had lived three different lives while trying to just _walk_ towards Mishka.

"About five minutes." Kurama supplied.

Five minutes? Did the battle even count as significant in their eyes? Or was it just another afternoon stroll? God, I was so confused. I couldn't process both the significance of that moment, and the utter global _insignificance_ of my problems. It had been just me. I was the only one saved.

"Hey – stop dawdling and get your butt in gear." That was definitely Yusuke.

"Yeah." I replied mechanically. I stood – with some assistance – and was surprised to find that I wasn't shaky on my feet.

The SDF's portal to Spirit World had sealed, but a new one was already forming. _Ding ding, all aboard for the Human World Express_.

I moved slowly, still. I was a little stiff from sitting on the ground for so long, not to mention the tension of my muscles was slow to relax. Part of me doubted that this was a _real_ reality, but when I glanced at Hiei… well, it gave me comfort.

My mind was churning through my three lives without my bidding. I had known with virtual certainty almost instantly that they were fake, which didn't really make sense. Mishka had given me almost everything I had ever wanted. I had a perfect life with John, back in America. When that didn't work, she gave me a child, and a peaceful life in Japan. And finally, she tried to give me Hiei. But I always knew it was wrong. How could a perfect, comfortable life feel so wrong? It nagged at me, teasing with significance.

We were getting closer to the portal. Kuwabara and Yusuke were already through. They hadn't been in my alternate realities – or were they dreams? – so that wasn't it. It wasn't uncommon for me to go long stretches in the human world without speaking to them.

Kurama followed shortly after, disappearing into the portal with a nimble leap. Kurama was an even more rare presence in my life. He had made a significant impact in my life, that was for sure, but a prolonged absence wasn't unusual.

So it was Hiei. Of course it was Hiei. But what was it? What was the key?

I was following Hiei to the portal to Human World - I only had a second more to figure it out.

And then I did.

"Wait." I stopped, grabbing Hiei's shoulder. My brain was fuzzily humming around a central idea.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice concerned.

I chewed on my lip for a moment. Was I right? The evidence had been right in front of me for a while. "Hiei, I'm going to ask you something, and because it's very serious I need you to think very carefully before you answer me."

I was watching his face with great attentiveness now. I needed to know. I needed this. "You need to ask a question for me to answer it." Hiei said, snapping me out of my intense focus.

"Do you want to live in the human world?" I blurted out, with far less preparation than I had intended.

Hiei blinked, a little surprised – understandably. "Onna-"

I interrupted him. "I'm asking because it's important." I stammered quickly, fiddling with my fingers.

"_Onna-_" He tried to start talking again, but I interrupted again.

I was babbling. "It's not because I'm concerned you won't like pizza or anything-"

"_Aria._" His use of my name made me stop babbling at least.

"Hiei?" I asked tentatively.

He snarled, and shuffled his foot in the dirt. "_No_. I do not want to live in the Human World."

I felt an instant sense of relief. It was surprising, yet not. I didn't want to live in the Human World either. I strangely preferred the wilder life in the Makai - the lack of unpleasant entanglements and obligations.

"Good." I declared. "Then it's settled." I nodded with finality.

Hiei blinked. Then his eyes narrowed. "…what?"

"We're staying here." I took his hand, swinging it a little. I was giddy, and now overflowing with excitement.

Hiei squeezed my hand lightly in response to my swinging. "I don't understand." He said flatly.

"Clearly." I muttered. "Hey – we're staying here. You and me. We're gonna sleep in trees, and it'll be just you and me. Maybe I'll ask King Enki for a job… cataloging plants or something. That would mean a lot of time spent wandering around the wilds, right?" Hiei was still just staring, so I kept talking. The portal across from us was starting to shrink, but we weren't paying attention.

I slipped my arms around his waist, trying to draw him in closer. "I'm staying here. You're staying here with me. Okay?" Hiei's arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I couldn't be certain that he was breathing. "Okay? We're going to live here. This is what I want."

"This _is_ what you want?" Hiei repeated, as a question. He was holding me tightly, and I tucked my head under his chin.

"_Yes."_

The portal closed.

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

I moaned in pain, hand wrapped around my belly and trying just to remain vertical for a little longer. Someone really should put a warning label on life. _Danger: consumption may cause serious discomfort, bleeding wounds, and occasional agony. Will result in fatal termination eventually. Take once daily._

"We're almost there; Yukina should be waiting." Hiei tried to reassure me, but at this point he was almost carrying me. My knees buckled as another wave of pain washed over me. As I almost fell over Hiei finally picked me up completely, slipping an arm behind my weak knees and his other arm behind my shoulders.

But he was forgetting something. "Wait-" I panted. "Don't leave the bag." I tried reaching for my leather backpack, but it was out of reach.

"It's not that important." Hiei growled, his voice losing that soothing tone.

I pinched his arm as hard as I could. "I will _not_ forgive you if I lose my samples."

He growled louder, and changed the distribution of my weight so he could hoist my heavy pack on top of the terrible burden I must have been on his incredible strength. "Thank you."

"You are ridiculously stubborn." Hiei muttered, and I frowned in a rather comical way.

"You watch your mouth, mister." I stuck out my tongue, but almost bit it off as the pain washed over me. I clenched my jaw, and squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt not to yell in Hiei's ear from the pain.

The air changed suddenly, from the familiar blood-soaked rot of the Makai to a fresh, green, open air. Human World. Or, more specifically, Genkai's Temple.

"Yukina!" Hiei yelled, his pace quickening. Hiei didn't yell much, but when he did things tended to happen very quickly. The doors slid open, and a myriad of faces appeared.

Yusuke was first to make it out the door. "Hiei! You made it! What-?" We made a strange picture; Hiei – the same as he always was – carrying a large, leather backpack, and his – extremely pregnant and groaning – wife, me.

"My _son_ is coming." He announced loudly, somehow managing to sound both concerned and incredibly proud of himself. I groaned as another contraction rose, spreading from my abdomen and blooming across my back. My toes curled in my boots, and I bit my cheek.

"I told you – it's a _girl_." I was breathing pretty heavily. Why did no one warn me that childbirth was uncomfortable? Well, I'm sure they did – so why didn't I listen?

Hiei smiled, and my toes curled for an entirely different reason. "We're about to see who's right."

Suffice it to say that childbirth is both as horrific and wonderful as most women tend to describe it. I promise I did not scream. Ignore the lies that others may tell you – I was a trooper. I did not scream at my husband. We exchanged only loving, peaceful words.

Promise.

I promise I'm not lying.

All that matters is that I was _right_. At the unpleasant hour of 2:48 in the morning, my daughter was born. I didn't care that I was a sweaty pile of discomfort and general ichor, I was full of those feel-good drugs that your body readily produces after childbirth. Great stuff. I wish they came in pill form.

But anyway, I couldn't take my eyes off the tiny bundle that Yukina slipped into my arms. "Hello, beautiful…" I whispered, stroking her cheek with one finger. She had gorgeous navy hair – definitely a sign of her Koorime heritage – fluffed up into a little mop on her head. She yawned widely, and blinked – I wished she had inherited Hiei's eyes as well, but her bright blue eyes were sweet.

"What's her name?" Yukina asked. She dabbed at my forehead with a cool towel, and I didn't realize until that moment that my body was nearly on fire. Suffice it to say that it felt great. Everything felt great.

"Yukiko." I replied softly, fluffing her hair a little. "Is Hiei outside?" I asked lightly.

Yukina smiled bemusedly. "My brother is overly concerned that you might be angry with him." Let it never be said that Yukina is not an incredibly perceptive woman.

I snorted lightly. "Your brother is rightly concerned, but he should get his butt in here before I get really mad." I shifted my robe, and tried to make myself a little more comfortable on my bed. If you're ever wondering how _smart_ Yukina really is, she had a real bed, robe, and anything she needed to birth a Koorime descendant _ready_ at the temple, and no one other than Hiei and myself knew I was pregnant until we came through the portal.

I'm willing to bet she had it ready for months.

She slipped out of the room to change the water, allowing Hiei an audience-free entrance. No one but me would be able to tell that he was sheepish. He stood close to the door; hands shoved deep into pockets and eyes cast to the floor. He was ready for me to both yell and throw things, but lucky for him my arms were full.

"Hey," I called, keeping my voice gentle. "Get over here." I offered a smile when he looked up, and with a little head-nodding did finally approach.

"By the way, your sister knows, so you can stop avoiding the subject." Hiei stiffened, and I crinkled my nose in amusement. "Apparently some things are obvious."

"Are you angry with me?" He asked quietly.

"For vanishing halfway through the birth of our daughter? _Nooooo, _why would I be?" I chuckled.

He looked terribly sheepish. "I needed to ensure-" I waved a hand, interrupting Hiei's explanation. "That no one was going to pop in and cut my organs out or steal the baby, I _get it_."

"So you're not mad?" He was surprised, to say the least. His face was an open book to me. A devilishly handsome open book.

I shook my head. "No, darlin'. Now stop worrying and come hold your kid." Before he could protest, I had already positioned the tiny sleeping bundle in his arms. Yukiko hardly stirred, and I marveled at how tiny she looked in his arms.

I sighed, my chest tight at the beauty of the scene before me. "Just think, some day she'll grow up and fall in love with a human."

Hiei growled deep in his chest. "Don't even joke."

We were left like that for an hour, at least, before our friends' curiosity got the better of them. Hiei stood awkwardly next to the bed as he was repeatedly clapped on the shoulder by his male friends. He bravely stood his ground as squealing females doted on his new daughter. Never mind that my poor ears were nearly bleeding from their exclamations of delight.

I can barely describe the sounds Botan and Keiko made when Yukiko yawned. Gosh, babies are adorable. I think it's a survival mechanism.

I handed off the baby to Hiei – some of the squealing ceased because of the annoyed look on his face – and beckoned to Kurama. His eyes lit with curiosity, and he approached.

"Could you get my bag?" I asked, pointing to the large leather pack. Kurama retrieved it for me, and I started rummaging around, my sample jars clinking loudly. Kurama raised an eyebrow. "After we decided to stay in the Makai, I found work with King Enki's advisory board – as one might expect, biological surveys basically don't exist. So, Hiei and I are essentially nomadic, and wander around with sample jars, cataloguing every plant we can get our hands on. I keep the most interesting samples with me, just in case."

"And what is 'just in case'?" Kurama asked, a sly smile spreading across his features.

"Oh, the occasional need to blow something up, or threaten to poison someone – you know how it goes." I smiled broadly, and Kurama chuckled.

I rifled around in the bag a little more until I found the jar I wanted. "Ah hah! Found it." The jar was small, about as long as my index finger, and contained a single, black seed. "This seed –" I stuck my tongue out at the jar. "This stupid seed almost cost me my hand! The plant tried to bite it off – big nasty teeth." I grinned toothily at Kurama as I handed him the jar. "It seemed right up your alley so I just had to grab some for you."

Kurama took the jar, and stared at it thoughtfully." How long are you going to stay in the human world?"

I glanced over at my husband – still surrounded by excited friends- and tried to imagine how long he would last. "Just a few days; why?"

He rolled the jar in one hand, and the seed made a merry sounds as it tapped against the glass. "I know someone who needs to talk to you." Kurama wouldn't extrapolate on that cryptic comment, only promised to return with the mysterious 'someone' in a day or two.

I was immensely proud that Hiei managed to make it through the day without setting anything on fire. I give Yukiko all the credit for that. Babies are _adorable_. Yusuke – our fearless leader – took it on himself to finally shove the doting women out of the room so that we could rest.

With Yukiko in one arm, and Hiei pressed up against my side in bed, I was at peace with the universe.

Peace.

_At last._

And, of course, the moment I started to drift off to sleep, Yukiko started to cry.

_Sigh_.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! It's been real, but I'm sure glad this story is done. I'm super excited to really get going on the next story. Please leave me a review! Of the chapter, of the story as a whole, I don't care. I want to know what you thought!

See you all in the next story – _Pressed Between Pages._

_UPDATE 1/6/2016 - I changed the baby's name from Atsuko to Yukiko when it was pointed out to me that Atsuko is Yusuke's mom's name. It was weird._


	49. Supplemental

Hey readers!

sorry to tease you here, but there really is more content for Waking Dreams, just released today! I just published a one-shot called "What Happened After", and it fills in that huge chunk of time with regards to where the hell Hiei went when Aria was suddenly kicked out of the temple.

Anyway- go read it, and please review!

Follow me as an author so you don't miss any more one-shots!


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Yu Yu Hakusho, Adventure, Romance