Once Upon a Time Like a Sad Song Needs a Sea of Lighters

**I don't own Once Upon a Time or its characters. I'm simply borrowing them for my own personal enjoyment.**

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He didn't love her from the beginning, he begrudgingly acknowledges to himself when he sees his past self on the Jolly Roger. That man wasn't good enough for her, and once upon a time, didn't think he'd ever be worthy of someone as amazing as Emma Swan. Because while she was still _Emma_ underneath the cloaking spell, and he was still the _Captain Hook_ Emma had pulled out from a pile of dead bodies, she couldn't be _his Swan_. He's pretty sure that if her entire existence –as well as her son's and quite possibly everyone else's– wasn't on the line, she wouldn't have followed him to his ship. He knows her; she didn't fall for his charms until quite recently, so she surely wasn't head over heels for him in the bar. But he also knows she'll do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission, and that's what she'd had to do, so she did it. She followed him to his ship, played the part of a lonely young woman, and allowed him to carry her.

And when he saw the way his former self was looking at her, he began to seethe. He may not have started loving her until she offered to let him be a part of something in that fine establishment, Granny's Diner –he thinks that's the name anyway– but he sure as hell knows he loves her now, and he likes to think he deserves her, too, after how he's changed. _For her_, he mentally adds.

He could never leave her, he realizes. He tried to take the magic bean and leave, but he couldn't because dammit, that woman had him wrapped around her finger and she hadn't even tried. Sometimes he wonders if that's what he's become: a lovesick man willing to do anything for the woman he loves. He used to think of it as a weakness and perhaps his Swan did, too. They were both enemies of love, hiding behind their walls, because love had only ever brought them pain.

But he needs her, has needed her since she offered him a _home_, because that's what she'd been doing when she told him he could be a part of something. It sounded too good to be true at the time, and he had run.

But he's glad he came back. He smiles at her –a small, shy smile because he still can't believe she kissed him- and she returns it. He feels Marian's glare but chooses to ignore it; he couldn't care less that she was angry with them for knocking her out.

And when Robin sees his wife and Regina storms out the front and Emma runs out the back, he follows the blonde despite her parents' protests. She needs him, too, even if she's not willing to admit it yet. But that's okay. If anything, Killian Jones is a patient man. He waits a few moments by the back door before pushing it open. He wants to give her the few precious seconds to herself that she's needed ever since she got her memories back to do whatever she wants: hit something, cry, curl up in a ball, whatever she needs. He finds her leaning against the brick wall with unshed tears glistening in her eyes and her knuckles bloody.

"Emma, are you alright, Love?" It's a stupid question because clearly, his fierce Swan is most certainly not alright. Again, he wants to give her what she needs: the opportunity to put her walls back up, if she wants. A choice, he realizes. Something she's never really had except for when he's around. Her eyes flick to him, then to her injured right hand. She's still holding back the tears, and he finds this strange since she had let him see her vulnerable during their little adventure to the Enchanted Forest that was. He realizes that once you get past the tough exterior –the mask she wears to pretend she can't get hurt, that she's never vulnerable– instead of hitting an ooey-gooey center, you hit a strong, iron core. She's tough on the outside, but strong all the way through. He of all people knows the difference between toughness and strength, and he knows she just doesn't like being vulnerable or weak. Finally, she answers him, her voice thick with tears.

"I ruined it." If he didn't know any better, he'd say she sounds broken. But he knows his Swan, knows that she's a fighter and doesn't break.

"You saved an innocent life, Swan." He says quietly, taking a step closer to her. He smiles internally when she doesn't shift away from him. "That's just who you are."

"If Regina goes and kills people now–" Her voice cracks and she looks down. He immediately sidles up next to her and takes her uninjured hand in his only hand. "She could hurt you, you know." She says as a tear streaks down her face. This time, she doesn't duck her head with an embarrassed smile. She only grips his hand tighter. "She tried to ruin my mom's life the first time, but… she can't hurt me because of Henry. The next best thing would be to hurt you."

"Emma, she's changed." He says confidently. Besides, we don't know what's going to happen. The universe has a funny way of keeping things the way they're supposed to be."

"Yeah, but…" She sighs, angry at herself for being so childish. "It made me think about what would happen if Milah showed up." For his part, Killian keeps his face neutral, not wanting to hurt the blonde. He nods a few times, thinking through what he wants to say while acknowledging her words.

"It wouldn't change the way I feel about you." He says with a reassuring smile. "I've made peace with her death, Emma, and found new love with you." He leans against the wall next to her, and never lets go of her hand. "I won't lie and say I don't miss Milah. But it's the same way you'll always miss Neal. Remember what I said: you always remember your first." He pauses and squeezes her hand. "But we've both let go of the past. I'm here to stay, and I've chosen you. I will _always_ choose you." He finishes quietly. She turns to him and places a tender kiss on his lips, this one more tender and vulnerable than the one they'd shared earlier. It lacks the immediate _need_ to feel their lips on each other's, but still holds the same amount of love and passion.

"Good." She rests her forehead on his. "Cause I need you." He knows how hard it is for her to admit to that, to needing anyone, so he decides to do the same even though he's not entirely comfortable with admitting it, either.

"Then it's a good thing _I _ need _you_." He pulls back to look her in the eye. "You have made me the best version of myself, Emma. You're the only one who takes me for me and accepts every part of me."

"You were right, back on the beanstalk." She sniffles. "We make a great team. I have the tendency to make stupid, reckless decisions and you're smart and composed. You think things through."

"We're amazing, when you think about it." He says and wipes another tear from her face. "Emma, I know you're scared. In all honesty, I'm afraid, too. But you give me the strength to be the man I've been trying so hard _not_ to be for the past three hundred years. I will never stop fighting for you or finding you or coming back for you."

"I know." She whispers. Then, she says louder and with more conviction, "And I'll try to be a little better at the whole 'not alone anymore' thing because the best version of me is when I'm accepting of the people around me."

"I need you." He says after a moment, pulling her into a tight, strong embrace. Though she can't say it aloud –not yet, anyway– the small smile and nod he feels against his neck are enough to tell him she feels the same. With a content sigh, he holds her closer against his chest and barely feels her nuzzle him. They've both never been ones for affectionate gestures or closeness, but together, it feels right.

_They_ feel right.


End file.

Once Upon a Time, Romance