Harry Potter Lessons in MArriage, according to James S Potter

"Thanks Ron, we really appreciate this," said Harry, handing over Al.

"No worries mate," replied Ron, balancing two year old Albus Severus on his hip.

"Are you sure, Ron? I don't know Harry, maybe we should have left Al with Mum, or James with George and Angie, so he could play with Freddie," worried Ginny.

"Ginny love, they'll be fine, right Ron," said Harry, with a desperate look at Ron.

"Yeah, Al and Rosie will probably go up and play in her room, so that will leave me to play with James. We'll be fine. Go Gin, go and have a nice relaxing weekend away with your husband," said Ron, smiling at his sister.

"When will Hermione be home from work?" asked Ginny.

"She should be home any time now, it's after five. Harry, take your wife and go," said Ron.

"Come on Gin, you heard Ron. We have two minutes till our Portkey leaves, and I don't want to miss a minute of our weekend," siad Harry, with a look at Ginny that Ron recognised all too well.

It was the 'Harry and Ginny want to be alone and we all know what that means' look. Harry had been complaining that he and Ginny hadn't had any 'grown-up' time since Al was born, especially since Ginny had fallen pregnant so soon after James's birth.

"Bye Al, Mummy and Daddy will miss you both, sweetheart. Bye boys, be good and listen to Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione," yelled Ginny, while kissing Al on the cheek.

Al held out his hands to his mum, and cried when Harry tried to pull Ginny away. There was no answer from James, who just stood there, waving.

"Oh dear, Harry, Al wants me, do you think we should take him with us?" asked Ginny.

"No!" shouted Harry. He took a breath. "Look, he'll be fine in five minutes or so Come on love, we have to go,"said Harry, shooting Ron a look and nodding his head to indicate he take Al inside.

"Bye Mummy, bye Daddy, be good," said Ron in a baby voice, lifting Al's hand to wave to them.

Harry grinned, and pulled Ginny close. "Ten seconds till our Portkey leaves, and in ten minutes I'll have you-"

Lucky for Ron he didn't find out where Harry planned to have Ginny, because their Portkey activated, and they left. Ron chuckled and shook his head, then stopped. He still really didn't like to think about his sister and best mate shagging, despite them being married for many years now.

"How about we go and find James and Rose and wash up for tea. I think Aunt Hermione is picking up fish and chips," said Ron to Al. He grabbed the boys bags and went upstairs.

"Jamie 'n Rosie," agreed Al.

Ron and Al found James in Rose's room. He put Al down while he put the boy's bags in the spare bedroom. Then he went back to Rose's room, and got the children to wash their hands in readiness for tea.

"Hello, where is everyone?" called Hermione.

"Up here, love," called Ron.

Hermione came upstairs and into Rose's bedroom. "Oh, did I miss Harry and Ginny?" she cried.

"Yeah, they left about five minutes ago. I'd reckon right now they'll be sha-"

"RONALD!" cried Hermione, looking horrified. She threw him a dirty look and went to their bedroom.

Ron looked a bit shame-faced at Hermione's rebuke. He saw James and Al looking at him.

"What?" he asked them.

"Are you and Auntie 'Mione fighting?" asked James, curiously.

"Nah, that's nothing. And forget what I said earlier, okay?" said Ron, looking over his shoulder for Hermione.

"You didn't kiss hello," said James. He shot a look at his brother, who nodded.

"Oh well, we don't always do that," said Ron.

Al and James looked at each other in confusion. "Mummy and Daddy always kiss hello. For a really, really long time. I even asked Daddy how he could hold his breath for that long," said James.

" Kissin'," said Al, grinning.

"Yeah, I know," grumbled Ron. "Come on, let's go set the table.

Ron carried Rose and Al downstairs, while James followed. Ron handed Rose the cups, while James carried the sauce and bread, and Al carried the children's plastic plates. Ron brought over a pitcher of pumpkin juice, and a couple of plates for Hermione and himself.

Hermione breezed into the dining room. "Ah, that's better. I'm so hungry, I barely had time for a cup of tea today," she said.

Ron frowned. "That's not good, love. You should have a break, even if you are only doing half days."

Hermione smiled at him, but looked curiously at Al. "Al, honey, what are you doing?" she asked.

Al was sitting in his chair, but was peering under the table. "You got legs?" he asked.

"Uh, yes," said Hermione, shooting Ron a questioning look.

"Where's your pants?" asked James.

"I changed into a skirt when I got home from work," said Hermione, confused.

"Oh. Just that Daddy says you wear the pants in your family," said James. Al nodded vigourously.

"He did, did he? Well, he's one to talk. We all know that Gin has got him by the ba-"

"Ah, Ron, not now, okay?" said Hermione. "Sit up, Al. Let's just eat our tea, quietly."

Hermione smiled at the children. Rose ate her tea quietly. James and Al tried, but they were used to lots of talking and fun at their table during their meals.

"Hey Al, look," said James, opening his full mouth.

"Yuck!" grimaced Al.

"James, that's enough," said Hermione, firmly.

"Wonder what Mummy and Daddy are doing?" asked James.

Ron snorted. Hermione shot him a look.

"Hey, look," said James, pointing. Everyone turned to look where he pointed. With the distraction, he swiped Rose's last chip off her plate. When she turned back to eat it, she let out a wail.

"He stole my chip," she cried.

"Want it back?" asked James, opening his mouth again. Al snickered. Rose cried some more.

"James, that wasn't very nice," scolded Hermione.

"Here, Wosie," said Al, offering her some of his chips.

"Fanks, Al," said Rose, shooting James a dirty look, not unlike her mother did to her father earlier.

"Just having some fun," mumbled James.

"If you're finished your tea, you may put your plate and cup on the sink, and go into the lounge. We''ll have baths soon, and then we'll play a game or listen to the wireless," said Hermione.

Ron stood up and supervised the children. James lingered in the kitchen. Rose and Al rushed out to play before their bath. Hermione brought her dishes over, and began to fill the sink, in preparation of washing them.

"I'll go keep an eye on the kids," said Ron. Hermione nodded, reaching for the detergent.

"Wait!" called James. "You forgot to pat."

Hermione and Ron shared confused looks. James sighed in exasperation. He went past Hermione and patted her bum. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"That's what Daddy does to Mummy when she does the dishes. Or Mummy does it to Daddy when he does," explained James. "I fink it's the rules."

"Potter rules, maybe. Any excuse to get his hands on my sister," mumbled Ron. "Come on, mate. Let's go find Rosie and Al and see what they're up to."

He shepherded James out the kitchen, and pushed him in the direction where the others were playing. "Off you go."

Ron settled down to read the paper. He liked this time of night. Hermione potted around, and Rose liked to play in her room before a bath. He had about half an hour to himself. The Cannons were playing this weekend, and he wanted to read what the so-called experts said about the match.

He held the paper up in front of him, and skimmed the front page. He went to turn to the next page, and nearly jumped ten feet in the air when he realised James was sitting on the coffee table directly opposite him.

"Whatcha doing?" asked James.

"Relaxing. Letting my tea settle. Why aren't you playing with the others?" asked Ron.

"They're playing kids stuff," said James. "This is when me and Daddy have men time."

"Men time?" asked Ron.

James nodded. "You know. Mummy gets Al ready for a bath. It's Mummy 'n Al time. So this is me and Daddy's men time. He tells me what he done at work, and I tell him what I done," explained James.

"Did," corrected Ron. "Well, what DID you do today?"

"Nuffin much," shrugged James. "Found a biscuit under my bed from the other day. Still tasted good, too."

"Great!" said Ron, chuckling. "Well, I spent the day stacking shelves while Uncle George had some meetings."

"Any robbers in the shop?" asked James, eagerly.

Ron shook his head. "Nah, mate, we've got lots of security charms around the store. In fact, your Dad helped us put them up."

"My Daddy is the best 'oar in the world. He always catches the bad guys. One day, I'm gonna be a 'oar like my Daddy."

Ron looked at James. He wished Harry could see his son, so proud of him. It brought a smile to Ron's face. He knew how much Harry loved his boys, and tried to set a good example for them.

"Yeah, mate, your Dad's the best," agreed Ron. James nodded happily.

"James, bath time," called Hermione.

"Bye, Uncle Ron. Fanks for men time with me," called James.

Ron chuckled. Men time. He'd have to remember that, if he and Hermione had another child and it was a boy.

The children had a bath, then Rose and Al coloured while James and Ron played Exploding Snap. Hermione listened half heartedly to the wireless while going over some notes from work. Half an hour later, it was time for the children to go to bed.

James lay in his bed. He wasn't sleepy. The bed didn't feel right, not like his bed at home. He missed Mummy coming in to read a story to him, then give him a special big boy cuddle. He missed his Daddy coming in, to talk about what they might do on the weekend. Then he too, would tell him he loved him. To the moon and back, Daddy would say. James knew that meant lots and lots.

James sighed. Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron were nice, but it just felt different; wrong somehow. James didn't know why.

He sat up as his door opened. "Who's dere?" he asked bravely.

"Jamie, I want Mummy and Daddy. Wanna go home," said Al.

"We can't. Mummy and Daddy aren't there," said James. "Rosie asleep?"

Al nodded. "Can I sweep with you Jamie? Pwease?"

James sighed, and pulled his cover back. "Okay. I miss Mummy and Daddy too. Maybe they'll come back early?" he said hopefully.

Al hopped in the bed, and snuggled with his big brother. "Why they go 'way? Don't like sweeping here. Want my bed, and Mummy and Daddy home."

"Me too. Go to sleep, Al. I'll stay awake and look after you. Like when Daddy does the night watch at work, okay?" asked James, yawning.

"Good bruvver," sighed Al, his eyes already drooping. Within minutes he was asleep.

James tried to stay awake, but listening to his brother's light snores was comforting. He turned over so he and Al were back to back, and soon fell asleep.

Ron was the last one awake in the house. He had listened to the Quidditch match on the wireless, and it had gone on longer than he thought. He doused the lights downstairs, and came up to check on the children. He nearly had a heart attack when he peered into Rose's room, to find Rose the sole occupant, and soundly asleep. There was no sign of Al.

He raced to James's room, and stopped. The Potter boys were curled up together, sound asleep. Al looked so much like a little Harry, it made Ron start. James did too, although his colouring was more Weasley.

Ron backed out the room, leaving the door ajar, and a night light glowing. He made his way to the master bedroom, and found Hermione, drifiting off to sleep.

He spooned her, settling in to his favourite place. "I hope we have a son some day," he whispered in her ear.

"Mmm-mmm," babbled Hermione.

Ron chuckled. "I'm taking that as a yes, and I'm gonna hold you to that."

With that, he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Ron and Hermione awoke, and lay in bed, having some special time alone. They had made plans for today, and were just running through them when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," called Hermione.

"Hi," called James, peeking his head around the door with his eyes shut. "Can I come in?" 

"Sure, honey. You can open your eyes, too," said Hermione.

James opened his eyes. "Oh, you're not playing Kidditch. Some nights and some mornings, Mummy and Daddy play Kidditch."

"In the bedroom?" asked Ron, increduously.

Hermione coughed and shot Ron a look.

"I think in this case, Ronald, Quidditch is a euphism. You know, for S-E-X," she spelled. He lay back, laughing and shaking his head.

"It's true. Mummy loves playing Kidditch with Daddy. They play a lot, and get all hot and sweaty. So sometimes they play with no clothes on. That's why I closed my eyes, I don't wanna see your bits," explained James, coming further into the room.

"Good call, mate," nodded Ron, solemnly. Oh, this was good, he was getting heaps of blackmail material on Harry and Ginny. Merlin knows, they take the piss out of him often enough.

Al peeked his head around the corner of the door.

"Me 'n Al are gonna go home. Fanks for letting us stay. Bye," said James, preparing to leave.

"Wait! You can't go! You're too young to stay by yourselves," shrieked Hermione.

"I'm a big boy, I'm nearly four," said James, holding up three fingers.

"James, don't you like staying here?" asked Ron, gently.

"Wanna go home and wait for Mummy and Daddy," said James, stubbornly.

"They won't be home till tomorrow," said Hermione. "We've got some lovely things planned for today. We're going in to Muggle London, and see the circus. Then we'll go somewhere for a lovely lunch. And we're going to the Burrow for tea. Won't you please stay? Rose will be upset if you go, she was so excited to have you boys come for a sleep over," implored Hermione.

"Well..."said James. It did sound kind of fun.

"We promised your Mum and Dad we'd look after you. It's just one more night," reasoned Ron.

James turned to look at Al. He nodded. James turned back to his aunt and uncle. "Okay," he said.

"Good boys," praised Ron, while Hermione let out a breath. "Why don't you go and get dressed? Al, I'll come give you a hand. 'Mione, you can have the shower first."

"Don't you shower together? Mummy and Daddy do sometimes. Cos it's safer, Daddy says. Daddy doesn't want Mummy to slip over, so he holds her while she wahes," said James.

Hermione and Ron exchanged amused looks. "This is getting good," said Ron, rubbing his hands together.

"Ronald!" exclaimed Hermione, shaking her head.

"Let's go, boys," said a chuckling Ron, shepherding them out of their room.

They did end up having a fun day. The five of them met up with Hermione's parents in Muggle London, and they all went to the circus. Rose loved the pretty ponies, while Al loved the lions. James was fascinated with the tight-rope artist, and vowed to try that at home. There was a big tree near his bedroom window, and he wondered if he could fix a wire between the two. He didn't think it looked that hard, so he figured he wouldn't need the safety net.

They had lunch at a kids Muggle restaurant called MacDonalds. Both Al and James loved the burgers and fries. Al didn't like the Muggle soda drinks, but James did, and had two. By the time he got to the Burrow for tea, he was on a bit of a sugar high.

James grabbed Freddie, and they broke into the shed and took out a couple of brooms and went for a ride. James flew higher than he had ever gone by himself before. With a whoop, he flew around.

Until he saw his nana standing on the ground watching him, her hands on her hips.

Slowly he flew down to her.

"James Sirius Potter, you get down here this instant. What on earth were you thinking, young man? Breaking into the shed! Flying so high! Wait till I tell your parents," she ranted.

James burst into tears. "Want Mummy and Daddy to come home," he cried in his nana's arms.

It almost felt like it was Mummy, but not quite.

Molly rocked her grandson. "Hush, sweetheart. It's all right. Your Mum and Dad will be home soon."

"Want them now," cried James.

"Now, now, your Mummy and Daddy are just having a little holiday. Come on now, I've got your favourite pie waiting for you. Then off to Uncle Ron's and have a big sleep, and tomorrow your Mummy and Daddy will be home," assured Molly, giving him a hug.

"You won't tell nobody I cried, will ya Nana?" asked James, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"Course not," said Molly. "Come on now, race you back to the house," she said.

"Nana, you can't race, you're old," said James, matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" asked Molly, jogging off.

She chuckled, and slowed to a walk as James raced past her.

It was a typical meal at the Burrow, with a lot of people talking over everybody else. Molly caught James and Al whispering together a couple of times, and made a mental note to get Ron to keep an eye on them.

George entertained the children with some of the latest toys from WWW. He told them they were test subjects, trying out his new products. The kids had lots of fun.

Soon, the big day caught up with the kids. They were all yawning. Ron and Hermione bundled up Rose, Al and James and they flooed home. They were quickly ushered into the bath and then into their pyjamas. By the time they came down, Ron had small cups of hot cocoa for them, then it was time for bed.

"Ah, do you boys want to sleep together?" asked Ron. He had not made mention of finding them asleep together the night before. He was a bit sad that neither of them liked staying at his and Hermione's home. Maybe they were still a bit too young for a sleep-over.

James and Al exchanged looks. "Yes, fank you Uncle Ron," said James.

"Al?" cried Rose.

Al and Rose were only a couple of months apart in age, and had grown up together. The thought that Al didn't want to stay with her made Rose upset.

"It's all right, Rosie," soothed Ron, gathering his daughter in his arms. "It's a brother thing," he said with a wink to the boys. They smiled and nodded.

None of the children protested when it was time for bed, not even James, which surprised Ron. They brushed their teeth and got straight into bed, chorusing 'Good night', to him and Hermione.

Ron yawned and headed for his room. All that walking around Muggle London had knocked him out. He showered, brushed his teeth and got into bed. Hermione followed half an hour later.

James crept out of bed, and peeked inside their bedroom. Mind you, he could hear Ron snoring before he got close to the door. James didn't know how Aunt Hermione could sleep so close to Uncle Ron and not be bothered by the noise, but she was fast asleep, too.

James crept back to his room, and found Al sitting up. "Let's go," he said.

James and Al crept downstairs, and went to the fireplace. They grabbed a handful of floo powder, and stepped in, calling out, 'Potter's Place'. They quickly zoomed away.

They nearly fell out of the fireplace. They heard someone say, "What the... James, Al?"

James looked up. "Daddy? Daddy!" he cried, jumping into his Dad's arms.

They had flooed into the only open fireplace, which happened to be Harry and Ginny's bedroom.

"Where's Daddy?" cried Al, picking himself up off the floor.

"Al, my baby!" cried Ginny. She scooped him up and rained kisses all over his face.

"Mummy, Daddy, you playing Kidditch again?" asked James, looking at them.

Harry frowned, then realised he and Ginny were actually naked. "Oh, um, yeah, something like that. Now, what are you doing here? You should be asleep at Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione's," he asked, putting James on the bed, and grabbing some boxers to put on.

"Missed home, Daddy," said James, climbing over the bed covers to get closer to his mum.

"Missed Mummy and Daddy," said Al, snuggling up to Ginny.

"We missed you too, my darlings," cried Ginny, cuddling both her boys under her arms. "But you shouldn't have left their house and flooed home to an empty house. Lucky we came home early," she said to Harry, who nodded.

Harry handed her a nightgown. "Come on, under the covers. We'll all sleep in here tonight," said Harry.

"And we'll all go to Ron and Hermione's in the morning, and say sorry for sneaking out," said Ginny.

"Okay, Mummy," agreed James. "You and Daddy finished playing Kidditch?" he yawned.

"Yes, we are," said Harry, shooting Ginny an amused look.

"For tonight," giggled Ginny.

Al let out a soft snore. "Just like Ron," said Ginny, affectionately. She rubbed his back, and he turned his little body into hers. "And his father," she said, winking at Harry.

"Stop talking, Mummy, I'm tryin' ta sleep," murmured James, snuggling into Harry.

"Sorry, son," whispered Ginny. James smiled and drifted off to sleep.

Ginny lay on her side, looking at her boys. Harry lay on his side, too, facing her. He brought his hand over to lace with hers, and it lay between their sons.

"Love you," he whispered. "Love my family."

"Love you back, for being my family," whispered Ginny.

She squeezed his hand, and that's how they fell asleep.

Next morning, Ron awoke to the aroma of breakfast cooking. For a minute he thought he was back at the Burrow, for Hermione was still in bed with him. However, when he was awake properly, he realised he was at his own home. So, who was making breakfast?

"Shit, James," he yelled, jumping out of bed.

"What?" mumbled Hermione, waking up, as Ron's warmth left her side.

"Waah, Daddy," cried Rose, awoken when Ron thundered down the stairs.

"What the...Harry, Ginny?" asked Ron, at the sight of all the Potters in his kitchen.

"Good morning, Ron. Breakfast in five. Go get Hermione and Rose, will ya?" said Harry, flipping an egg.

James stood on a chair, waiting for the toast to pop. "Hi," he called to Ron.

"And put some clothes on," called Ginny from the table.

"It's my house," he called back, as he left the kitchen.

He grumbled all the way up the stairs. He met Hermione coming down, carrying Rose. "What's going on?" she asked. "Do I smell breakfast?"

"Yeah, Harry's cooking. Go on down, love, I'll be there soon," said Ron, kissing Rose on the cheek.

He grabbed a dressing gown, and went back downstairs. Harry was putting the platter of eggs and bacon on the table. James caught a piece of toast as it popped, and handed it to Al, who dropped it, picked it up, and added it to the pile.

"Good job, Al," praised Ginny. She was making a pot of tea. She patted Harry on the bum. "Good job, Harry."

James raised his eyebrows at Ron. "See. It's the rules."

"Potter rules," murmured Ron.

Harry threw a questioning look at Ron, who shook his head. "All right, everybody eat up," said Harry.

"So you guys came home early?" asked Hermione, puttting some egg on Rose's plate.

"Yep. Missed these two so much. Course, we didn't think we'd see them so soon. However, we did plan to come over this morning and cook breakfast for you all," said Ginny, cutting some toast for Al and Rose.

"What do you mean, so soon?" asked Hermione.

"Well, they flooed home last night. About nine-thirty," explained Harry.

"What?" cried Ron and Hermione. They swung their gaze to James and Al.

"Missed home," said James, shrugging. Al, who had a mouthful of egg, just nodded.

"It's okay. I mean, it's not, but it worked out okay. We were home and we were awake," said Harry, thankfully.

"Playing Kidditch. Think they just finished," said James.

Harry and Ginny blushed. Ron and Hermione looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

"Oh, we've heard all about your Kidditch games," laughed Hermione.

"James!" exclaimed Harry, mortified.

"And the bum pats, and the showers, and the kissing. Oh, we've had quite the education on your sex life," quipped Ron.

"Ron!" gasped Ginny and Hermione.

Harry groaned and lay his head on Ginny's shoulders.

"Uncle Ron, what's sex?" asked James, curiously.

All the adults gasped. Rose and Al stopped eating, and looked between Ron and James.

"That, James, is something for you and your Dad to talk about in men time," said Ron, smiling triumphantly at Harry.

"So, you don't know," said James.

Hermione and Ginny giggled.

"It's all right, Uncle Ron. When Daddy tells me, I'll tell you," assured James. "All right, Daddy?" he asked.

"Yes, mate, I think it's about time Uncle Ron knew," guffawed Harry, setting Hermione and Ginny off again.

They finished their breakfast, and despite offering to do the dishes, the Potters were told to go home. With hugs and thanks all around, the Potters left.

"Come on love, you wash, I'll wipe. I think Harry used every pot we have," groaned Ron, stacking the dishes on the side of the sink.

"Okay, love," said Hermione, patting his bum.

Ron shot a look at her. "What?" she asked, smirking. "You think you were the only one to get lessons from James Potter?"

Ron burst out laughing. "Does that mean we get to play Kidditch tonight?" he whispered in her ear.

"Maybe," whispered Hermione, giggling.

HGHGHG

It came as no surprise to anyone that, two months after their weekend getaway, Ginny announced she was pregnant again.

It came as no surprise to Harry and Ginny when, a month later, Hermione announced that she too, was pregnant again.

Lily Luna and Hugo would grow up to be close cousins and best friends. Just like Al and Rose. Just like James and Freddie.

When Hugo was born, Ron took him out to meet his family. As he knelt down for the little kids to look at their new cousin, it was James that reminded him now he could have men time with him and Hugo.

"Thanks, James," said Ron, with tears in his eyes.

James nodded, and looked up at Harry, who had placed his hand on his eldest son's shoulder. He smiled proudly down at James.

"That's some god-son I have there," said Ron, shakily.

"Ditto," quipped Harry, nodding at the bundle in Ron's arms.

"Kind of feels that it was all worth it, doesn't it?" asked Ron. "I mean, I wish I could go back to my fifteen year old self and tell him just how it was going to turn out, don't you?"

Harry chuckled, as he took a pink bundle of his own from Ginny. "Everything after marrying Ginny has just been a bonus for me, mate."

Lily started to cry, so Harry rocked her. Ginny came over, and hugged her brother. She kissed her new nephew on his forehead.

"We should go. Lily needs a feed, and it's nearly tea time for the boys. Give Hermione our love. We'll floo over in a few days, unless you need us for anything," she said.

"Bye Uncle Harry, bye Auntie Ginny," said Ron, waving one of Hugo's little hands.

Ron watched them walk away. Hugo let out a squeak, and Ron decided he better get him back to Hermione.

"Now, Hugo, your cousin James told me about this thing called 'Men Time'. You see..."

Ron kept talking, as he went through the doors to take Hugo back to his waiting mother and sister.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor