Bleach 1. The Hogosha's Wish

**A Vibrant Display of True Love and Affections**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 1: The Hogosha's Wish**

Byakuya knelt silently at the feet of his beloved King Yoshiaki, waiting as the monarch bent his head quietly in thought and then smiled down at his most dedicated noble servant.

"Kuchiki Byakuya," he said, admiring the lovely and powerful noble's dutifully bowed head, "Once again, you have proven yourself to be more than worthy of your place as the greatest of my protectors, here in the spirit realm. Ever since your installment as Hogosha Taichou (Captain Protector), you have been a model of what a hogosha should be. Your triumph over the Demon Lord, Diablo and the valiant rescue of my family leaves feeling that I am in your debt. As a token of my appreciation and affection, I would like to grant you something, some wish or comfort of your choosing that would in some way repay you for your dedication to my well-being. Tell me, Byakuya, what gift would you have from your most appreciative lord?"

Byakuya's wide gray eyes blinked in surprise and he looked up at the king curiously.

"Your majesty," he said quietly, "There is no need for you to feel obligated. I was merely performing my duties to the best of my abilities, as is expected of all of the hogosha. You needn't grant me any wish or reward. I _wanted _to protect you."

The king nodded and his eyes softened in amusement.

"How very like you my dear Byakuya!" he laughed, "You are every bit the noble warrior I created you to be. But it is a weight on my heart, accepting such wonderful service and not offering you something in return, so I must insist. Tell me what gift that you would have from your king? Is there nothing that would bring more beauty and happiness to your life?"

Byakuya considered the question carefully, thinking about how happy he already was, having moved to the spirit dimension, living close to his grandfather (who was Royal Guard Taichou) again and having such a distinguished position near the king. Although being responsible for the king's protection was a demanding job, he relished the challenge. And when he was not working, he deeply enjoyed the honors and comforts he was given. He had a lovely room with a balcony from which he could enjoy the moon and stars. He was welcome to walk in the King's Gardens and to enjoy the infinite displays of variant types of plants and animals there. And after his battles, he was allowed to bathe in the king's own healing pool, to stand beneath the warm fall of water, breathing in the sweet scents of the gardens and feeling that deep renewal of flesh and spirit. Every need he could think of was met, except…

"Your majesty," he said softly, his dark gray eyes finding the king's again, "there is one thing. In all of my long years, I have only once been in love. That love was a beautiful thing, but it ran its course and my lover died. Since that time, I have longed to feel love again. I know that because it would affect too many things, I cannot ask you to bring Hisana back, but if you would give me a gift, I would desire that the gift be true love, a love that would last the rest of my days."

The king's eyes widened for a moment, then became more thoughtful as he rested his face on one palm and considered his Hogosha Taichou's request.

"You wish to know true love?" he asked.

Byakuya nodded.

"I remember what it felt like to be in love, and I have never felt anything so beautiful. Love is more enchanting that the nighttime sky, warmer than sunlight falling across an open meadow, sweeter than the dew of the honeysuckle and more powerful than a million zanpakutous," he said softly.

"Absolutely," said the king, meeting the eyes of his lovely queen for a moment, "Love is a very worthy gift, Byakuya. And so I will grant this gift to you. I will allow you to take the hand of my daughter, Princess Eri. I know that the two of you have become friends."

Byakuya lowered his eyes for a moment, then met the king's eyes again.

"My lord, I am deeply grateful, of course, that you would offer me such an honor…however…while marriage is an eventual goal in the course of true love, it not merely marriage that I am searching for."

He sighed softly and closed his eyes.

"I long for true love…love that stuns the heart with its beauty. It grips the soul and is the greatest of adventures. It is not something that comes from marrying. Marriage should be the result of that love…the breathtaking step that underscores it. Please understand. I do not mean to be disrespectful of you or of Eri. She and I have become friends. But I think we agree that friendship is all we desire of each other."

The king looked to where his daughter stood in attendance, and Eri smiled back at him and nodded.

"Ah," said the king, "and is there someone else you desire? Perhaps you prefer a male companion? One of my sons?"

Byakuya sighed.

"That is just the problem," he admitted, "and it is the true reason I never remarried. I am not sure what it is that I am looking for. I only know that I am lonely without it. And I do want that loneliness to end, and for love to take hold of me again. I am sorry, my lord. I do not mean to be difficult.

The monarch smiled warmly.

"You are exactly who you are meant to be," he assured the noble, "And you needn't apologize for your honesty. I think your request is an appropriate one, and I will do my best to grant it. But before I can, I must gain a perspective on what you value in a lover."

He thought for several minutes, then straightened.

"I suggest this," he said, leaning forward, "I will send out a call for suitors, who wish to seek your hand in marriage. From those applicants, the ones who display the qualities you desire in a mate will be invited to come to the palace to compete for your affections. After they have gathered, I will have each tell me how they would win your heart. I will give each a chance to do so by placing you in their fantasy and seeing how they would gain your heart. The one you judge to be most worthy will be the one to take your hand in marriage. Do you agree to this?"

"Hmmm," Byakuya said, considering, "What if none of the applicants satisfy me? Will I still be compelled to choose from among them?"

"Of course not," the king assured him, "Byakuya, this is meant to be a gift, not another obligation. I truly want for you to be happy. This is just to build a pathway to that happiness. So…what say you, Kuchiki Byakuya? Will you allow your king to help you find the love you seek?"

Byakuya considered the king's words carefully. He wondered in his tired, lonely heart if anyone could fill the space that Hisana's death had left behind. He wanted to believe that he could fall in love again…but in all of his years in Soul Society and the spirit dimension, he had not yet met the soul that he felt completed his. Still, he did desire that completion, and he vowed that he wasn't going to miss out on the chance to find that one, that other person he so longed to join with.

"Yes, your majesty," he said, bowing his head again, "I will agree to your proposal."

"Good," said the king.

He summoned a Royal Hell Butterfly.

"Let the word go out into the three worlds that his majesty wishes to find a soul mate for Hogosha Taichou, Kuchiki Byakuya! Let all applicants who wish to compete for Byakuya's affections do so in the following way. Each applicant shall send a reply to this royal invitation. Byakuya will explain to our Royal Scientist, Urahara Kisuke, what he desires in a mate, and from his descriptions a pool of applicants will be chosen for the competition. Urahara-san will prepare his laboratory to accommodate the testing. Each chosen applicant will decide how best to court Byakuya, and Urahara-san will place them in a fantasy with Byakuya to see how they fare in winning his affections. At the end of the competition, Byakuya will choose the one among them, if any, whom he deems to be worthy of his hand. Applicants will have one week to gather here, and then the competition will commence. Go now. Spread the word."

The single butterfly spread its wings and suddenly exploded into a storm of hell butterflies. They rose up into the air and left the palace for every corner of the three worlds. The king nodded in approval and excused his court. Byakuya left the throne room and returned to his bedroom as darkness came and the moon and stars appeared overhead. He stood, gazing quietly upward, wondering which, out of all of the souls in the three worlds, would be the one to complete his. He heard a quiet footstep and turned to see Kuchiki Ginrei stepping out onto the balcony to join him.

"Good evening, Grandfather," Byakuya said, inclining his head.

"Good evening Byakuya," Ginrei said, taking up a position alongside him.

Neither said anything for a moment as they looked up into the stars and considered their words. Finally, Byakuya broke the silence.

"I imagine you're somewhat disappointed in my choice of a gift to receive from the king," he commented, lowering his eyes.

Ginrei studied him for a moment and shook his head briefly.

"No, I am not disappointed. Love, Byakuya, is a worthy thing. I am glad that you have decided to shed your loneliness and to seek it again."

Byakuya sighed.

"But if, in all of this time I haven't found it…do you really think it exists?" he asked softly.

"Of course it does," Ginrei said, resolutely, "It may be difficult to find, but your true love is out there. It may even be someone you know. Give the matter some thought tonight as you sleep."

"I will, Grandfather," Byakuya promised.

He watched quietly as his grandfather left the room, then changed into a comfortable yukata and laid down in his bed. He thought about Hisana, and what he had loved about her. He reflected on his experiences since their marriage, and how it had changed him…and, therefore, had changed his desires. And as he considered the matter, he thought about what he thought to be the best characteristics of the people around him.

_What do I want in a soul mate? What do I want that other person to be like?_

He drifted off to sleep, still undecided.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Kuchiki taichou," said his attendant, Torio, in a soft voice, "It is time to wake up. Urahara-san has been here already this morning, looking for you. He says that he needs the information from you for the competition. He has thousands of applicants already, and more are pouring in every moment."

Byakuya blinked in surprise.

"They are?" he asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"Yes, sir," affirmed the youth, "Apparently, there are many suitors, male and female, from all over the three worlds who wish to seek your hand in marriage. Urahara-san wants to know how to sort them."

"Very well," said Byakuya, stretching and yawning, "Go and tell him that I will join him in his laboratory after breakfast."

"Hai, Kuchiki taichou!" the boy said, dashing away.

"Thousands of applicants?" Byakuya mused, "wanting to marry _me?_"

"Does that really surprise you, Byakuya-bo?" said a lively, feminine voice from out on his balcony.

He glared at the intruder as she flash stepped into his bedroom and stood in front of him, observing him with crossed arms and a sly smile.

"Senpai," he said in an annoyed tone, "will you never learn to knock? I _was_ about to change."

"Go ahead," Yoruichi said, her smile widening, "I want to see what has the three worlds banging on the dimension wall and trying to get in here to court you."

Byakuya let out a puff of breath and turned away.

"Not that you have anything I haven't seen, ne?" she chuckled, following, "I just want to know if anything's changed since I knew you as a boy…something to explain all of the uproar. I know you've grown, but _it_ can't have grown out of proportion with the rest of you, so…"

In his youth, he would have snapped at her, taking the obvious bait and letting her stoke his temper. Instead, he called her bluff by walking calmly into his closet and letting his yukata swish softly to the floor. Yoruichi nodded in obvious appreciation.

"You _have_ grown, Byakuya-bo."

"And you have seen what you wished to see, Senpai. Now leave," he said, taking a kimono from one of the hangers and beginning to dress.

"You might not want to be so surly," the cat-woman said, smirking, "You might scare away all of your would-be lovers."

"Well," said Byakuya shortly, "Then Urahara-san will have less work to do and we can get this silliness over with. We both know that I'm not going to find the love of my life this way. I am only _doing_ this to please his majesty, who very much felt he owed me. There isn't a soul mate out there for me. And if there is, I won't find that person by putting out an advertisement."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Yoruichi said, her eyes softening as she read the genuine longing in the raven-haired man, "You may be surprised."

She moved closer and took the kimono from his hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked wearily.

"Quiet. I'm just helping you dress."

"I have attendants to help if I really desire it," Byakuya said dryly.

"I know that. Shut up," Yoruichi said, holding on to the kimono until he sighed in resignation and allowed himself to be dressed.

"I think you're approaching this thing with the wrong perspective," she suggested.

"Why does that not surprise me?" the noble muttered.

"You should give this a chance. You may be delightfully surprised, and if not, you will certainly be no worse off than you are now, ne?"

"Hmmm," sighed Byakuya non-committally.

Yoruichi smiled and followed him out of the closet, then stood behind him as he sat down in front of a mirror to comb his hair. She stole the comb out of his hand, prompting another annoyed glare, then addressed the tumbled lengths until she had tamed them and confined them in the kenseiken. Then she took the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu and wound it around his pale throat. She stood back, admiring his reflection in the mirror.

"You look lovely, Byakuya-bo," she said affectionately, "Now, stop fussing about the futility of this and go tell Urahara-san what kind of lover you want!"

"I haven't had breakfast yet," he told her, standing, "Would you like to join Ginrei and me?"

"Ah, I've already eaten," she replied, turning back towards the balcony.

"You know, Senpai. They put the doors in these rooms for a reason. You might consider using one once in a while."

"How boring!" she laughed, flash stepping away.

She landed in the gardens and turned towards the far end of the palace, flash stepping across the grass, then walking inside and turning down a darker hallway. She came to the end and opened the door.

"Oh, Yoruichi-dono!" Urahara said grinning at her from where he stood, making alterations to a large machine covered with buttons and blinking lights, "I thought you were Byakuya-san. I've been leaving messages for him all morning. I need his loveliness to come down here and help me figure out how to make a dent in all of these applications. I think half the people in the three worlds want to go to bed with him! I don't know how we'll pare it down to few enough so that we won't be testing into the next millennium!"

Yoruichi chuckled.

"Not that he thinks for a minute he'll actually find the person of his dreams this way, but you know, Kisuke, I've been thinking…"

"Why does that scare me?" the scientist said, shaking his head.

"Maybe we could…give him a hand, you know," she said, winking, "Who knows? We might just help him find true love. But even if not, we could certainly have a few laughs at his expense, ne?"

"What do you have in mind?" Kisuke asked, narrowing his eyes.

His gray eyes widened and he bit his lips furiously to keep from bursting into laughter as she whispered her plan in his ear.


	2. The Interview

**Chapter 2: The Interview**

Aizen Sousuke sat on his lovely white throne, resting his face on one hand and looking bored. He inhaled softly and sighed, blinking slowly and ignoring Gin as he entered the room.

"Aww," the silver-haired shinigami said, sympathetically, "Someone looks like he is about to die of boredom. We can't have _that_, can we?"

"What do you want, Gin?" Aizen asked, still not looking up, "I am not in the mood for…"

"Are you in the mood for hearing the latest about Byakuya-san?"

"What about Byakuya-san," muttered Aizen, "Things haven't been _nearly_ as interesting since he left the Seireitei and became taichou of the King's Hogosha."

"Yes, well, it _was_ fun capturing and teasing him on occasion, but he's impossible to reach now, right?"

"I think that if I had a way into the spirit realm, I would have used it by now. Get to the point, Gin."

"Well, you remember the invitations that the king sent out? The ones to find a mate for Byakuya-san?"

"Yes, of course…and I remember as well that we were not given invitations. Not that I would have stooped to accepting one, but it might have gotten us into the spirit dimension…"

"True…I can't get us into the spirit dimension exactly, but…"

"But you stumbled across something?" Aizen asked, lifting his face off of his palm.

"I did, actually," grinned Gin, "I found out that Urahara-san will be arranging fantasies for the suitors to use to try to court the lovely Byakuya-san…"

Aizen's eyes narrowed warningly.

"So you seek to tease, me. Well, let me tell you that you chose a bad day to rile me, Gin!" he said, coming to his feet and raising his spiritual pressure warningly.

"Calm down," said Gin, shaking his head, "I was _trying_ to tell you that I managed to hack my way into a certain computer…a _simulation_ computer…"

A slow, evil smile rose on Aizen's lips.

XXXXXXXXXX

"So, aren't you going to fill that out?" Rukia asked her red-haired friend, shaking her head as Renji sighed softly and dropped the invitation into the trash bin, "Renji, what are you doing? You're crazy about my brother. You have been for years! You've been miserable since he left for the spirit dimension. You should apply."

"Why?" Renji asked unhappily, turning back to his work, "If he didn't notice me for all of the years I was his subordinate and his friend, then why would he notice me now?"

"Oh come on!" Rukia rebuked him gently, "You never tried that hard."

"Not like _he_ would have noticed if I did. Face it. He belongs with some rich, pretty noble girl…not with a red-haired mess like me."

"If you were a _mess_, then I don't think you'd be wearing that haori!"

"What about Zaraki?"

"Ahm…um…" sputtered Rukia.

Then, she brightened.

"Zaraki taichou doesn't have _any_ commendations, Renji. You have tons of them!"

"Not that _he'd_ ever notice. I was right there all of the time, Rukia. If he was going to notice me…if he really _wanted _me, then he would said something."

"Well," said Rukia, fishing the invitation out of the garbage and handing it back to him, "Maybe my brother was waiting for someone else to make the first move…Renji."

"Get outta here, will you?" grumbled Renji, "I have a division to run."

"You think about what I said," Rukia admonished him, "_Really_ think about it…because I know you kick yourself pretty darned hard if you had another chance and blew it."

He waited until she had gone before picking up the invitation, glancing at it again, then quietly disposing of it.

"Abarai taichou!" said a youthful, male voice.

"Ah, if it isn't the little whiz kid," Renji said, smiling down at the nerdy, red-haired tyke, "How are things in the twelfth today, Akio-kun?"

"Fine, sir," Akio reported, sounding cutely official, "Nemu-chan sent me to tell about some intelligence we received! It is very important!"

"Oh?" Renji asked, his face taking on a more serious expression.

"Hai! We intercepted signals passing from Hueco Mundo into the spirit dimension. It appears that Aizen Sousuke is trying to hack into the spirit dimension computers. They may be trying to find a way to affect the dimension wall. They haven't found a way yet, but they did invade some computers. It seems they have gotten into the computers that are being used to run the simulations for Kuchiki taichou's suitor competition! We don't know what they plan to do, but we have a way to infiltrate the competition ourselves in the meantime to stop whatever they attempt."

"Well, then you should be off to take care of that."

"Kurotsuchi taichou says he has no time for such rubbish and has ordered me to remind him that you owe him for…"

"All right, all right!" Renji said, raising a hand, "I don't want to think about that. Just tell me what he wants me to do."

"You will need to come with me. I will put you into our simulator and attempt to inject you into the game. While we continue trying to stop Aizen's interference, you will have to protect Kuchiki taichou from being annoyed by that traitor."

"What?" Renji objected, "You mean, like babysitting? No way! I spent too many years being that guy's protector and…and besides, I don't want to see him being mauled by every Tom, Dick and Harry!"

"But Renji, what if Aizen Sousuke finds a way to hurt Kuchiki taichou? You would feel awfully bad if…"

"Grrr!" snarled Renji, "Okay! Fine…I'll go with you."

"Oh, arigato, Abarai taichou!" the boy exclaimed, smiling widely.

Renji grumbled some more, but then stood and grudgingly followed the boy out of the fifth division and towards the twelfth.

"I know I'm going to regret this," he muttered, "I just _know_ it!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ah, come in, Byakuya-san," Kisuke greeted Byakuya, smiling and indicating a chair near the big machine he was working on, "Have a seat before it disappears underneath all of these applications!"

Byakuya's lips frowned and he sat down, crossing his arms and waiting as Kisuke finished tinkering with the machine. He wiped off his hands and sat down across from the noble with a sheet of paper in front of him.

"Sorry about that," he said apologetically, "It's been crazy in here, trying to keep everything straight. But here, I've generated a list of questions that should help us to eliminate a lot of these."

"Very well," Byakuya said, straightening and uncrossing his arms, "but I need to check in with the king soon, so I hope this won't take too long."

"Not at all," Kisuke said, grinning, "I don't have that many questions. I just wanted to be sure that I asked the ones that were most likely to bring out the traits you are looking for. Okay, first…male, female or open to either?"

"Open to either."

"Do you want a virgin?" Kisuke asked, almost chuckling at the blush that erupted onto the noble's face.

"It doesn't matter," Byakuya said, sounding flustered, "though I don't want someone who will be sharing himself or herself with everyone who comes along…"

"Ah, right. Well, the not caring whether the person's a virgin is good. We might have lost most of the applicants…"

"Go on, Urahara-san," Byakuya said brusquely.

"Are there any physical characteristics that you favor…height, weight, complexion, hair and eye color, age, species, you know…"

"Species?" asked Byakuya, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, we got a number of oddities…hollows, shapeshifters, that kind of thing…"

"I'm not partial to shapeshifters," the noble said, giving Kisuke a soft glare.

"And hollows?"

"If they are intelligent and not bloodthirsty."

"Okay, huge, tall, medium, small, petite or miniscule…we're talking whole body, not just…"

"I get the point, Urahara-san. I imagine the person must fit into normal size buildings and not be so small as to…"

"…get squashed when you…"

"…are intimate," Byakuya finished.

"Fair, medium or dark complexion."

"It doesn't matter."

"Fetishes?"

"What?"

"Fetishes…you know, sexual things…likes to nibble on feet, B&D, S&M…"

"I understand. I was indicating that the question was unexpected. And are you asking if _I_ have any fetishes or if I am requesting a _partner_ who does?"

"Yes and yes," answered Kisuke, earning an eye roll.

"No and…perhaps…" the noble answered softly, his fingers drifting to the scarf at his throat.

"If you had to inflict or receive pain, then which…?"

A sudden rise in the noble's reiatsu stopped the scientist mid-question.

"Ah…we'll come back to that. Hair colors? Eye colors?"

"I am not terribly selective about those things, but I enjoy coloring that is pleasantly eye-catching and not gaudy."

"Ah, okay. We'll be sending the goth kids home…"

"G-goth kids…?" Byakuya repeated, glaring, "I certainly hope you are not including anyone underage! I do NOT engage in…"

"Check," said Kisuke, "Not a pedophile. But while we're on the subject, do you have any sexual oddities like an incessant hunger for sex…"

"Everyone has an incessant hunger for sex," argued Byakuya, "or it would only be useful for mating."

"But what I mean is…is that ALL you can think about? Do you think about it day and night, masturbate until your hand is ready to fall off and still can't get enough?"

"Do you WANT me to kill you?"

"N-not particularly. But since you're already riled, let's just grab the bull by the horns and talk about sexual preferences."

"I already said…"

"I know," said Kisuke, "but we need to go into a little more depth to match you with someone complimentary. I mean, you said you don't mind a guy partner, but if both like to top and no one bottoms…"

"It depends on my mood,"

"Wh-what?" mumbled Kisuke, blinking in surprise that he had answered and not insulted.

"I was answering your question. I don't mind either, but it depends on my mood."

"Ah…erm…" Urahara said, blushing and shifting the papers in front of him, "D-do you enjoy having any particular areas stimulated? You know, lips, nipples, navel, anal area…"

"I am open to exploration."

The stack of papers on the scientist's lap suddenly fell and scattered.

"Ah…sorry," said Kisuke, leaning forward to pick them up and arranging them more carefully in his lap, "Okay…open…got it."

"I do enjoy being gently stroked in one area," said the noble, smirking at the expression on Kisuke's face.

"What? Okay, where?" the scientist said, blushing.

Urahara froze as Byakuya captured his hand, turned it over and lightly brushed his fingertips along the sensitive skin of his wrist. Kisuke stared and blushed harder. Byakuya remained leaned forward, and when he spoke, his soft voice entered nearly into Kisuke's ear.

"My gloves usually cover this area, so it is extra sensitive, but I prefer light touches here," he said, then let his fingers brush the scientist's inner thigh, "and there."

"Inner wrists and th-thighs, okay," Kisuke concluded, looking a bit dizzy.

"I also like the feel of warm, pleasant breath on my skin," Byakuya went on, breathing the words against Kisuke's ear and biting his lips to keep from laughing.

"Any other erogenous zones I should know about?" Kisuke asked, clearing his throat and straightening.

"Just the usual," Byakuya said, meeting his eyes placidly.

"Do you enjoy penetration of orifices? And if so, with what items or appendages?"

"I do not know. I am untouched that way."

"A-anal virgin…right."

"So I do not know what I would enjoy or even if I would enjoy the penetration. Would you like to examine that?"

Kisuke stared back at him incredulously for a moment, then his eyes narrowed and he laughed heartily.

"Ah…hah, good one, Byakuya-bo. You had me going there…all hot and bothered."

"You think I was joking?" Byakuya asked quietly, "Now that you mention it, I am curious. And you are a scientist trying to determine what I would enjoy. Wouldn't the best way to do that be to test it yourself?"

"Ah…um…hah, I think we'd better just leave that part for the fantasies, ne? I'm sure your prospective partners will do all of the discovery they need to. Well, let's finish up with a test fantasy in the simulator. Just go inside and I'll start the test."

He rose and walked to the big machine, opening a door on one side and motioning to a chair in a small booth.

"Sit down there and the fantasy will start in a few seconds. I just have to get my lab assistant in here to help."

"Lab assistant?"

"Yeah, it'll just take a sec. Relax, you'll know when it starts."

Byakuya sighed resignedly and blinked several times as Kisuke closed the door and everything went dark.

"Okay," said Kisuke's voice, "First, atmosphere. We have romantic evenings, comic adventures, rescue dramas, imminent peril. What do you want to try?"

"Something sedate," Byakuya suggested.

"S-sedate…sedate. All right, what do we have here? Ah, this should do."

There was a slight pause, then suddenly Byakuya found himself standing under a lovely sakura tree, overlooking a waterfall and tranquil meadow. He had to admit (only to himself, of course) that Kisuke, while being somewhat annoying, was certainly a capable scientist. He studied his surroundings carefully, enjoying the lovely scents of the sakura, water and grass, the warmth of the sun and the peacefulness of the afternoon. He looked down at himself and frowned.

"The surroundings are acceptable," he reported, "but I have no body."

"Yeah, I was just about to put that in. Oh, and my lab assistant just got here."

Byakuya watched as his body suddenly appeared and solidified, then made a sound of annoyance.

"Urahara-san…, you've made me a teenager!"

He heard feminine laughter and tensed as there was a yank on his hair and the hair tie he wore in the fantasy was suddenly removed from his hair. It dropped into his eyes, nearly blinding him as the culprit flash stepped away.

"You've made my hair too long!" Byakuya snapped, shoving the thick lengths out of his eyes and launching himself after Yoruichi, who laughed and ran faster.

"I think that horse's mane of yours is holding you back!" she shouted, bounding down the cliff face, flash stepping over the lake and landing in the meadow, near a darker forest.

"This is ridiculous!" Byakuya seethed, "Urahara-san, end this at once!"

There was no answer.

"Imbecile…" Byakuya muttered, realizing that the only way the scientist would let him out of the simulator was for him to finish the 'fantasy.'

He blazed across the meadow and into the darkness of the forest, flash stepping at top speed down a winding trail. He was surprised at how dark it was in the trees, despite being so near that sunny meadow and wondered if it was just an idiosyncrasy of the machine, or if…

His thoughts spun away as his body made contact with something soft, wickedly strong and decidedly sticky.

_A…giant spiderweb?_

A length of webbing dropped down over his eyes and wrapped around his head, blinding him.

"Very amusing, Urahara-san," Byakuya said in a low, dangerous voice.

He tried to raise his reiatsu, but found himself suddenly powerless.

_It figures. Bastards…_

He tried to carefully extract a hand, but only ended up entangling himself more.

_And with my luck, there's a…_

He felt movement on the giant web and felt the warmth of another body dropping down in front of his. The masculine scent told him the person's gender.

_So this is not Yoruichi…_

"Who are you?" he asked, moving his head to try to see through the sticky webbing.

The man didn't answer, but laced his fingers into Byakuya's with one hand, while cupping his cheek with the other.

_Apparently, this stuff doesn't stick to him…_

Warm lips touched his very lightly and another body pressed up snugly against his.

"I like to see my romantic partners," Byakuya said dryly, but then found himself unable to speak as the other began to plunder his mouth enthusiastically.

And as much as he objected to the person's approach, he had to admit, he had never been kissed like that before…

His assailant plunged deeply into his mouth and despite his objections, Byakuya found himself kissing the person back. It was, of course, scandalous…but scandalous sort of went hand in hand with sexual fantasy…and it wasn't real, so…

"I'll save you Taichou!" yelled an all too familiar voice.

The next thing Byakuya knew, he was swept out of the web and into strong, familiar arms and the webbing was pulled away from his eyes.

"R-renji?" he stammered, still somewhat flustered over the kissing, "Wh-what are you doing in my fantasy?"

"Well," said Renji, coming down in the meadow and setting him back on his feet, "We got word from the twelfth that…_oh shit!_"

"Renji?" Byakuya said, looking confused as everything faded away around him and he found himself back in the booth.

Kisuke opened the door and Byakuya couldn't exit the place quickly enough.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded, "First that _demon cat_ appears and plays her games, then I am assaulted by a webbed wonder and then, R…"

"What?" said Kisuke, turning back to the machine and scratching his head, "I only programmed it so that Yoruichi would tease you. Something must have gone wrong! I'm terribly sorry, Byakuya-san! I will fix this up and have it ready for the first fantasy tomorrow."

"I won't hold my breath," Byakuya said, turning and sweeping out the door.

Kisuke looked back at the machine.

"Webbed wonder?" he mused, then he shook his head and went back to his work.


	3. The Harem

**Chapter 3: The Harem**

Byakuya's eyes opened and blinked lazily and he sat up slowly, enjoying the coolness of morning and the touches of sunshine that came in through the open doors on the balcony and fell across his bed in soft patterns. As the king's Hogosha Taichou, he wasn't used to indulging in rising at such a late hour, but although he did feel somewhat unsettled about visiting Kisuke again and being subjected to the oddball inventor's dubious procedure for whittling down his list of suitors, the idea of having time to enjoy a late morning walk in the King's Gardens and to be alone with his thoughts for a while was decidedly attractive.

He slipped out of bed and into his large, private bathing chamber. His servant appeared immediately and undressed him, then donned a small wrap around his waist and followed the noble out into the hip deep water. Byakuya waded out to the lovely rock waterfall on the far side of the room and stood beneath it, letting the warm water pour down over his soft, pale skin. His mind wandered contentedly as his attendant's hands moved over his bared flesh, and he found himself thinking again about the questions that Urahara had asked him. As invasive as they had felt at the time, he wondered now about his answers. He hadn't truly cared too much, at the time figuring that the whole thing was rather ridiculous and would not…could not be the way to finding the person of his dreams.

_My lover would not be one who would ever do something of the nature of this contest. Some mixture of pride, humility and decency would keep him…or her…from ever engaging in such a display. I do wonder, if I met that perfect person, what would he or she be like? What do I really value in a lover? What do I really crave?_

He tried again to think about what it was that had made him love Hisana. She had had a kind heart, soft, sweet skin, a lovely smile that made him feel warmth and love. She had been calm in the face of everything that Inuzuri and later, noble life, had thrown at her. But perhaps her most endearing characteristic and the one he missed the most, was how even when they disagreed on something, they never became angry with each other. He always felt her love with him, even when they had their differences.

And yet, he thought, smiling, there was value in an occasional good brawl.

_"What the hell are you doing, Taichou? You coulda fried me with that blast!" Renji yelled, "Are you crazy?"_

"_Not at all," he replied, sending another kido blast at his subordinate and following it with a flurry of strikes with his hands and feet, "I am simply impressing upon your stubborn posterior the need to move faster if it does not wish to feel my wrath."_

"_Ow!" yelled Renji._

"_Calm your reiatsu," he went on sedately, "You cannot sense a candle in a room that is ablaze, ne?"_

"_A blazing…oof…room on fire would be…OW!…less painful than this. And less distracting!"_

"_I am a well known opponent, Abarai. I know you have the power and the knowledge to do what I have asked. Now, you will put forth your best effort or I will simply beat you until you are unconscious."_

"_Gah!" yelled Renji, his reiatsu lighting around him, "Not if I fucking…knock you out…first, T-tai…chou!"_

_Finally…thought the noble, smiling inwardly._

_Renji's anger blossomed all around him, turning into raw power, a beautiful wave of heat and fury that blazed across the training grounds and closed in on Byakuya. He knew before he moved that even his flash step wouldn't get him completely clear, but it felt good, he thought, having such power touch him, lift him off his feet and send him flying out of control. He waited for his body to make contact with something…either the ground or the wall of the building he had been standing in front of._

_But to his surprise, the heat flaring around him suddenly disappeared, and strong arms and a stronger body captured him, slowed him and brought him gently to the ground on his feet. Renji stared at him, understanding rising in his eyes._

"_I get it now, Taichou. I understand."_

_Their faces were close and Renji's glinting red-brown eyes enchanted him._

"_Good," he said quietly, his lips quirked upward, "You have advanced to taichou level, Renji. I will be forwarding my recommendation to Soutaichou for the next round of promotions."_

_The surprise and mixed emotions, coupled with the dirt on Renji's sweating face made him nearly irresistible. It took everything in him not to lean forward and kiss the rough, flushed lips and to invade that attractive red mouth._

"_Thank you," Renji said, gratefully, "With all of my heart, thank you, Taichou."_

"_Go and change," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes, "We are finished for now."_

_He watched silently as Renji walked back into the sixth division headquarters._

"_You are welcome," he whispered, "And thank you, Renji…for everything."_

Yes, he thought, his friendship with Abarai Renji had shown him that even confrontational relationships could be marvelously fulfilling, and that love didn't have to be physical in nature to resonate deeply.

_Though I still feel an ache inside that we never did step over those tight boundaries and taste physical love together._

But in the end, while he had wanted to with all of his heart, he had felt that to put bindings on such a young, beautiful and free spirited man would be somehow wrong. So he had instead, enjoyed the splendor of the red haired warrior as he was, walking the more difficult path of modesty and decorum, rules and regulations, while his heart had fluttered and raged beneath his breast, calling him stupid for letting Renji get away from him.

"But it would have been selfish…" he breathed, not realizing he was speaking aloud.

"What was that, Kuchiki taichou?" asked Torio, pausing in his work, "I couldn't quite hear you, sir."

Byakuya realized suddenly that he had become aroused while thinking of Renji, and was glad that the warmth of the water had caused a flush on his pale skin so that Torio would not realize that he was blushing. He cleared his throat softly.

"It was nothing. Please continue."

He used mind over matter to calm his riled length as Torio's hands began to address his genitalia. He remembered he had hated to be washed by the attendants in his earlier, more innocent days. Now he just appreciated the dedication and affection Torio expressed as his longtime attendant bathed and dressed him. He was aware, of course, that many nobles and royals engaged in casual sex with their attendants, but it had never crossed his mind to use Torio in that manner. The younger man was kind hearted and attentive, and wholly devoted to pleasing him…just not in that manner. Or if he was of such a mind, he certainly never allowed it to surface.

"I am finished, Kuchiki taichou," Torio said, bringing him out of his reverie, "Would you like for me to dry you now, or do you wish to remain here longer?"

_Yes, Torio is well acquainted with all of my idiosyncracies…_

"Ah, I would stay, but I must dry off now if I wish to have time for a walk in the gardens before I have to meet Urahara-san."

"Of course, sir," Torio said, moving to the edge of the bathing pool and picking up a towel.

Byakuya left the water and stood quietly as Torio dried him, then walked into the dressing area and waited until the attendant returned to him with a comfortable kimono. His mind drifted as he was dressed and drifted further as he took his leave of his attendant and left via the balcony, flash stepping down into the gardens and walking along the quiet trail. He walked slowly along the trail, listening to the soft crunch of the sand under his feet and the sounds of morning birds. The sweet scent of flowers surrounded him, drifting on the soft breezes.

_If I could have anyone walk with me today, who would that person be?_

Several people came to mind…Renji, of course, his devoted cousin, Tetsuya, Hisana (were she still alive), or even the more annoying, but still enjoyable Yoruichi. Another, more dubious option popped into his mind for the barest of moments and he tried to force it away, but was assaulted with the memory associated with _him_.

_"Come, let's take a walk together, Byakuya."_

"_Aizen Sousuke," he said haughtily, "The last thing I want to do is to walk anywhere with the likes of you. And if I must be in your company, it wouldn't be to walk with you, but to kill you!"_

"_Oh, what lovely sentiments!" Aizen purred, checking his bindings briefly, "But if my Byakuya doesn't wish to go walking, perhaps we should try to think of something more…stimulating?"_

"_Take your hands off of me, you beast!" Byakuya objected._

_He struggled within his bonds, getting nowhere, of course, but at least satisfying himself that he had put up proper resistance. Aizen's mouth found his and invaded it hungrily, forcing his mouth open wide and taming his angry tongue with one that was hot and, despite whose it was, delicious and sweetly erotic. He tried, and almost managed to keep himself flaccid, but Aizen's body came to rest on top of his, and teased him with warmth and maddeningly arousing friction, which he offered, then gently withheld to further rile him._

"_Oh, you did miss me, didn't you?" Aizen breathed in his ear, licking the pale shell and then sucking on his earlobe._

"_Not at all," Byakuya hissed back, barely keeping the delighted shiver out of his voice, "Wretched…mmmmmph…t-traitor!"_

"_You lie so beautifully," Aizen said, blinking slowly and brushing his fingers against the noble's flushed throat, "One would think you actually hated this."_

"_I do hate it," Byakuya said, frowning, "And I despise you!"_

"_I don't think so…"_

_The friction returned, heavy and enthralling as Byakuya held on to his crumbling barriers and wondered if this would be the time when Aizen would just take him. But as always, the former taichou looked affectionately into his dark eyes and gently finished him with a relentlessly stroking hand while finishing himself by rubbing against the noble's body and letting his release pulse out onto their bared bodies. They were quiet for some time after, but then Byakuya made himself break the silence and ask the question that burned in his mind._

"_Why do you do this? You never ask for anything…and you never really take anything I'm not willing to part with."_

_Aizen smiled and brushed the hair away from his face._

"_I like playing with you," he said, blinking slowly, "I would only become serious if you wished it as well. I may be somewhat of a scoundrel, but I will not take someone who is not yet in love with me."_

"_And you don't think I am?" he asked softly._

"_No," Aizen said, kissing him, "You are just lonely…and that is why you keep letting me capture you. If you fall in love with me someday, then perhaps, but for now, this is an amusing game."_

The games had stopped, of course, when he had been promoted to Hogosha Taichou, and he hadn't seen Sousuke since. He didn't find himself longing for the sexual touches as much as the intimacy of their verbal exchanges and the excitement and challenge of being stalked and aggressively courted.

"Everyone likes a bad boy," he sighed, pushing the thoughts of Aizen Sousuke away.

"Ah, there you are!" said Kisuke, "I've been looking all over for you. We're ready for the first real fantasy…and it's a lovely one, I promise."

"And there will be no unwelcome malfunctions this time?" Byakuya asked dryly.

"Ah, no," Kisuke promised dutifully, "I made a few adjustments and worked out the kinks last night. We are good to go."

"Fine," said the noble, turning to follow the scientist back to his laboratory.

He wasn't sure he really wanted to enter the simulator again, but Kisuke pushed him inside and he had no choice but to sit down and sink into the fantasy that rose around him.

He found himself in a different sort of castle…one shaded in light, earthy colors and warmed by a desert sun. He walked down a long hallway and came to a large, sparkling golden curtain over a doorway. Figuring that he really had nowhere else to go, he pushed it carefully aside and moved forward.

He found himself in a large room that was a grander version of his own bathing room. Except that the colors were different, and instead of having Torio to attend him, a row of scantily clad, veiled women awaited him. He recognized the fourth division fukutaichou almost immediately by her being taller than the rest, and the shade of the hair that peeked out from beneath her veil.

"So this is Kotetsu fukutaichou's fantasy?" he mused, "Or could it be…?"

He froze as an unveiled woman entered the room.

"Welcome Kuchiki taichou," Unohana Retsu greeted him.

"Wh-what is this?" Byakuya asked, "Is…this _your_ fantasy?"

"Well," said the fourth division taichou, "Yes, in part. But there were so many applicants that the Shinigami Women's Association applied as a single entry. And we decided that the best way to give you access to all of us at once to compare our…charms…was to prepare a 'harem' themed fantasy, where we would all pleasure you and you would see each of our 'talents.'"

"T-talents…?" he stammered, shocked at the suggestion, but at the same time, enchanted by the lovely surroundings.

Unohana took one of his hands and Isane took the other, and the two led him forward to a warm indoor bath, much like his at home.

"But I've already…"

He broke off as Unohana's stunning blue eyes fixed on him and her smile warned him not to resist. But as two more veiled women came forward, a terrifying though came to mind.

"Is one of you…Rukia?" he asked, blinking.

One of the veiled women stepped forward and removed her veil. Byakuya stared at her, incredulously.

"Rukia? You are…attracted to…_me_?" he asked, dumbfounded.

Rukia's eyes went wide and she blushed furiously.

"Well, Nii-sama," he stammered nervously, "You aren't really related to me, except because you were married to my sister, and in some societies, bereaved spouses often married their former mate's…"

"Stop right there," Byakuya said, stepping closer.

He looked down into her wide, frightened eyes and touched her face gently.

"You _are_ my sister. You may have become so because of Hisana, but we are bound in that relationship, just the same. But…if you insist that you must do this, then I will grant you a single kiss, and you will see that we are not meant to be."

He closed the distance, wrapping his arms warmly around and lowering his face to hers. He almost laughed as Rukia squawked awkwardly and fainted before his lips even lightly touched her cheek. He handed her off to another veiled woman and then returned to Unohana taichou.

"Now then…" he said, glancing at the other women, who he was surprised to see looked nervous and fidgety, "Unohana-san, what is wrong with them?"

"Oh they are fine," the healer assured him, "It is just that if you overpowered your own respectably powered sister, then how can they hope to handle such a kiss as yours? If the mere touch of your lips can induce unconsciousness..."

"Ah," Byakuya said, looking amused, "And are you likewise minded?"

"No, of course not," Unohana said, taking hold of him and bringing their lips together.

He had to admit that he did enjoy the feeling of having her arms around him…and the softness of her lips rubbing warmly against his. But just as he was beginning to really consider her as a partner, the door crashed open and a tall white-clad man burst into the room. Unohana taichou stepped back in surprise and the other women in the room squealed in fright.

"Wh-what?" cried Isane, dragging another veiled woman behind a sandstone column, "This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"What are you talking about?" said the man, giving them a wicked smile, "This is a harem, ne? This harem belongs to me! I am…"

Byakuya stepped forward, realizing belatedly that he had no sword.

"Aizen Sousuke, I don't know _how_ you invaded this simulation, but you will leave NOW!" he snapped.

"What are you saying, impertinent one?" Aizen asked haughtily, "But you are out of uniform…someone dress my favored love slave properly…_now_!

An 'Aladdin' styled _poof_ sounded and Byakuya blushed as the veiled women disappeared and he found himself alone in the room with Aizen Sousuke, and scantily clad in a very revealing female slave's outfit.

"How _dare_ you!" he hissed as Aizen moved forward and trapped him against the wall, "Get away from me, Aizen, or I will…mmmph!"

He found it impossible to object as the former taichou's hands forced him back against the wall and kido ropes wrapped around him like long, dancing snakes, sliding provocatively along his skin. Aizen's mouth fastened on his, effectively silencing him as the man's hands slid down his bared abdomen.

"Oh, you _are_ lovely, my Bya-hime!"

"Argh! Don't you EVER call me _that_!" the enraged noble snapped, "Release me at once!"

"Ah, I don't think I will," said Aizen, giving him a sly wink, "You know, this being a simulator, we could actually have sex…and you would remain an anal virgin…"

"Only your sick mind would dream of that!" the noble fired back.

"And if I continue invading these simulations, we could have sex many times, but each time would be your 'first deflowering!' How enchanting!"

He struggled ferociously as Aizen attacked the soft skin of his throat, his hands roaming over the large amounts of soft flesh left uncovered by the slave uniform. He caught his breath as Aizen's hand slipped beneath the too short skirt and slid along his inner thigh. Byakuya flushed a deeper pink as a jolt of excitement distracted him out of responding angrily to Aizen's attentions.

_It's not so much that it's him…it's just that…to be…wanted…passionately like this, to be pursued so relentlessly! If only he wasn't such a wicked man…but…then it wouldn't be…Sousuke…oh my kami! I have such a weakness for him!_

He felt his resistance begin to crumble and ceased to fight Aizen's hands as they touched him more sensually, and his kisses hardened.

"Be cautious, my Bya-hime," Aizen warned him, "Remember, you know better than to give in to the likes of me…"

He stared wide-eyed at the other man's affectionate eyes and felt his barriers shatter.

Suddenly, a huge explosion shook the room and the wall across from them crumbled and collapsed.

"Taichou!" yelled Renji, bursting into the room wearing a white house guard's uniform that managed to be extremely appealing, as much for what it gently obscured as for what it revealed.

"Renji?" Byakuya said, shaking his head, and reminding himself that he was in a fantasy, "I didn't know that you had responded…"

"I didn't," said Renji, shoving a surprised Aizen aside.

"What do you think you're doing Renji!" Aizen said, raising his reiatsu threateningly.

"Hey…get outta here!" Renji said, gruffly, "Kurotsuchi taichou hacked your relay. You can't hurt a fly now. In fact…"

He gave Aizen a derisive glare.

"You know…maybe I should show you what Kurotsuchi taichou suggested I do if I came across you harassing Kuchiki taichou!"

He raised a glowing kido ball around his hands and prepared to launch it, only to find that, for the moment, the scoundrel had disappeared.

"You okay?" he said to a flustered Byakuya, releasing him from the snakelike kido bonds.

"I'm…fine," Byakuya assured him, looking up into his former fukutaichou's red-brown eyes, "Renji…it's been…a long time."

"Yeah," the redhead agreed, "I'm sorry, Taichou. I can't stay. But you don't have to worry about Aizen for awhile. Kurotsuchi taichou has some things prepared for the next time he tries to break into the simulation."

"Th-that's…good," Byakuya said, still gazing up at the redhead, "Renji…I am…sorry that I thought that you would…would be part of something like this. It must seem…disgraceful to someone like you to have me think that, even for a moment. I am sorry."

"Hey, no harm done," Renji said, trying not to notice just how much of the noble the slave outfit revealed.

"Renji, are you…aroused?" Byakuya asked softly, looking down.

"Ah…well, you're dressed in _that_ and standing there, looking up at me with those eyes and…who the hell wouldn't be…ah…erm…"

"I'm sorry," the noble said, stepping away, "I shouldn't have asked that. It's just that…Renji, when I was your taichou, there were…things that I didn't say to you. I thought them often enough, but I…I didn't know how to tell you. Renji, I…"

"Oh hell, no!" gasped Renji, "_Not now!_"

Byakuya blinked in surprise as Renji disappeared, and he found himself back in the small, cramped simulator. The door opened and Urahara peeked in.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, "I guess there are still a few kinks. I'll work on it some more and send a hell butterfly when I'm done."

He left without answering, and walked slowly back to his room, still feeling Renji's hands lightly touching him and his former subordinate's voice asking a question he had asked many times over the course of their association.

_"You all right, Taichou?"_

"_Of course I am. Who do you think you are talking to?"_

Renji had always laughed, but now he wondered what the redhead really felt. And he wondered why it was so important to him. His heart ached softly at how he had betrayed the tiny flare of hope that Renji was an applicant. It was embarrassing to know that Renji now must realize that he had feelings for him…as unrequited as they might be.

"Not that it matters," he said softly, stealing out into the King's Gardens and touching his fingers to a large, red flower, "You are in the Seireitei, and you are no longer my…subordinate…"

He wanted to believe they were still friends, but had not contacted Renji after his departure...mostly because he had felt too worried that he would say something stupid and reveal his feelings…or that Renji would realize what he felt and would…

"No, Renji would never be hurtful," he whispered, "He would be exceedingly gentle even in breaking my heart."

He stroked the petals of the red flower longingly, then turned away and flash stepped towards the palace.


	4. Badasses

**Chapter 4: Badasses**

**(LOL, Hope you enjoy this one! I don't think Byakuya was amused...)**

Byakuya stifled a groan of discontent as Kisuke's hell butterfly flitted into the King's Gardens and winged its way towards where the noble sat, looking down into the rippling waters of the healing pool and thinking back to how things had been before his coming to the spirit dimension. He remembered feeling generally content with his life. Kuchiki Manor and the gardens it boasted were lovely, and the attendants and staff there had worked for the family since before Byakuya's birth. Yes, his surroundings had been beautiful, and he had enjoyed his daily walks, and the pleasant routine of walking to the sixth division and spending days in the squad office, alongside Renji and the others there. Working with the other taichous had been enjoyable as well, except, perhaps, for the taichous of the eleventh and twelfth divisions, who had managed to work their way under his skin now and again...sometimes to the point of some amount of violence, in Zaraki taichou's case.

But as much as his life had been pleasant and enjoyable before, coming to the spirit dimension had been eye opening. The entire spirit realm had a gently surreal feel to it. The scenery was beyond lovely, and his position near the king gave him full access to the shockingly immense, King's Library and the most beautiful gardens that existed anywhere. Mostly, his life was serene.

But there was something that Kuchiki Byakuya very much missed...something that couldn't be replaced.

Or rather, some_one_.

He thought back to his two sessions in Kisuke's simulator, frowning at the general experience, but sweetly replaying in his mind the appearances of Abarai Renji in his simulations. It was like old times, having Renji appear with the intent of 'saving' him, even when rescue was unnecessary. But necessary or not, Renji's dedication to him had been touching. It was as though, after working out their substantial issues regarding Rukia, they had fallen into an easy, comfortable relationship. Byakuya had always believed their friendship to be deeply pleasant, but certainly something he could make himself live without if he had to.

But the reality of doing so had left him feeling oddly lonely.

"He wasn't a lover...nor a potential lover. He never sought that with me, nor I with him," the noble mused aloud.

He imagined that part of the deep connection that had formed grew out of the time he spent grooming the younger man to become a taichou. At the beginning, he hadn't even cared about doing so, but in their battle over Rukia's fate, Renji had earned his respect, and thus gained his attention. And after that, they had both worked to see that Renji reached his goal of breaking his taichou's sword.

Byakuya smiled warmly, as he remembered with a deep feeling of pride, the day Renji had achieved that goal. He felt the clash of their full reiatsu, the dizzying impact as they connected, and then, the feeling of falling and being caught gently in Renji's shocked arms as they watched the separated portion of Senbonzakura slice into the ground. In all of his life, he had never worn a smile like the one he had worn at that moment. And moving to the spirit dimension hadn't changed that at all.

_"Kuchiki taichou, we are ready now for the next simulation, _said Kisuke's voice, rising up out of the hell butterfly and interrupting his thoughts.

Sighing in annoyance, he rose and walked back to the palace, then made his way to Kisuke's laboratory.

"I hope that this is nothing like the last simulation," the noble said sternly, "I cannot _believe _that you allowed my own sister to participate..."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Kisuke said ruefully, "but it would have been wrong to exclude her because, you know, she isn't blood related."

"I am aware of that," said the noble, "I also hope that Aizen Sousuke won't be making another appearance. He begins to wear on me."

"Yeah, I think I have that taken care of," the inventor assured him.

"Let us hope so."

"Okay, so if you'll step into the simulator..."

"I will likely regret it," noted Byakuya, "But very well."

Shaking his head unhappily, he entered the simulator and sat down.

_I hope this isn't anything like the ones before...but knowing Urahara-san as I do, and knowing Senpai is scheming along with him, I had best not indulge in wishful thinking. Hmmm, I may have to begin bringing my sword into these fantasies..._

His vision went dark for a moment, then he felt a sense of disorientation.

Light slowly returned, and Byakuya found himself in a lovely pine forest that bordered a tranquil, open meadow. He scanned the area with his senses and picked up some reiatsu traces.

_Apparently, this suitor prefers me not to know he or she is coming._

He let out a soft breath and turned towards the meadow.

_I tire of games. I will make myself easy to find..._

He heard soft voices and paused.

"I think he's over there," said a low voice he recognized as Madarame Ikkaku's

_One of Zaraki's subordinates?_ Byakuya mused, _Though he is powerful, so not a complete waste of time. But those men tend to be barbarians._

"And he looks lovely, ne?" said Yumichika, "So...we all chase him down and then what? The one who captures him wins? Is that it?"

"No," said Zaraki, "This is a hunt, remember? So, the one who does the most damage or kills him gets to keep him."

He heard a wicked laugh and sensed hollow reiatsu. Peeking through the trees, he spotted Zaraki and his two subordinates standing with several others, including a blue haired hollow that he thought must be an Espada, another hollow with long black hair and a patch over one eye, Off to the side stood a lone woman with very large breasts, short hair and odd bandages around her wrists.

"Sh-shiba Kukaku?" he whispered, "What is this? They gathered the most violent people in the three worlds and...?"

"There he is!" yelled Grimmjow, drawing his weapon and activating his resurreccion, "That little bitch is _mine_!"

"Out of the way," snarled Noiitora, "Or I'll fucking kill you again!"

"Not if I kill you first!" Ikkaku shouted, swinging his weapon and knocking the Espada aside.

"Nnnnnngah!" howled Noiitora, "I'll destroy you for that, shinigami!"

"Just try!" Ikkaku yelled, blocking his attack and launching one of his own.

Yumichika laughed and moved to watch them.

"Oh, I think watching these two go at it will be way more fun than trying to chase down some boring noble who isn't close to being as pretty as me."

"Ugh..." groaned Byakuya, slipping into the trees and watching Grimmjow and Zaraki run through the forest, knocking down trees and blasting rocks out of their way. He started to walk away, but was nearly blown off his feet as a cero blazed through the forest, blasting a path through the trees.

"What in kami's name...?" Byakuya gasped.

"IT'S YOU AGAIN, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!" howled a gigantic, rumbling voice.

"You must be kidding me, Urahara-san," Byakuya sighed, "These men are beastly!"

He turned as the huge hollow that he and Zaraki had fought in Hueco Mundo appeared and fired another heavy blast in this direction. He flash stepped clear, but was taken to the ground by the large breasted woman he had seen before. He struggled for a moment, his face uncomfortably pressed into her considerable cleavage.

_This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't someone I do not particularly like..._

He started to snap at her, but paused as Zaraki passed over them and ran towards Yammy.

"Oh boy!" he cried, "You didn't die before. Are you ready for some fun?"

"Urrrrrrgh!" growled Yammy, "You're that other shinigami bug! You make me MAD!"

Byakuya watched as the two began to fight, then looked up at Shiba Kukaku.

"So," he said resignedly, "If the game is to capture or kill me, why have you not done anything?"

Kukaku laughed.

"What? You think I'm like those bastards there, Kuchiki Byakuya? Our noble house may have been outcast, but I haven't forgotten the code by which we live. And besides, Yoruichi was unsure how you would fare in here with these beasts, so she had me join them, so that I could help you escape them."

He pulled free of her and stood.

"I assure you," he said haughtily, "I do not need help fending off these ruffians. Most likely, they will just kill each other, and I can walk away unharmed. But if I have to fight, I am more than capable of doing so on my own."

"Huh!" Kukaku huffed, "No gratitude, ne? I told her you'd just tell me to get lost..."

"You were right," Byakuya said shortly, "Goodbye, Shiba Kukaku."

He had taken no more than about three steps when a green tendril wrapped around his ankle and the stunned noble was upended and hoisted into the air, upside down.

_It had to be right in front of her..._

Kukaku's laughter rang loudly through the area, making the snared noble flinch. He sensed the approaching reiatsu of several of his 'suitors.'

_Oh, this is not good..._

A knife twirled through the air and cut the green tendril where it wrapped around the branch above the suspended noble. Byakuya felt himself begin to fall and flash stepped, trying to ignore Kukaku as she cackled madly again and flash stepped forward to catch him.

_No! Not in this lifetime!_

He flash stepped clear of her, then watched with stunned eyes as the group of suitors pursuing him bore down on her. Kukaku flash stepped clear as the others crashed headlong into each other. She shook her head in disgust as the reiatsu exploded around them, and the group was expelled violently in all directions.

"Idiots!" Kukaku said, rolling her eyes.

She glanced back at Byakuya.

"Still don't think you need help, Kuchiki?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Of course not," Byakuya said, frowning, "I told you..."

He broke off as Noiitora appeared suddenly beside him and slashed at him. He managed to narrowly escape decapitation, but felt a stinging sensation on his shoulder and scented blood. Blue fire erupted from Byakuya's hands, throwing Noiitora head over heels. Byakuya turned to escape, but barely caught Zaraki's sword as it swung in his direction.

"What in kami's name are you _doing_?" he asked the other taichou, "You cannot tell me that you want my hand in marriage! We never could stand each other. What are you doing here?"

Zaraki laughed.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked sarcastically, "I'm having fun!"

Zaraki's sword flashed and more blood leaked onto Byakuya's skin. He flash stepped away from Zaraki, but founnd himself being stalked by the now catlike Grimmjow.

_It never ends!_

"Where are you going, sweetheart?" growled Grimmjow, "You want me to lick that blood off for you?"

Byakuya answered with twin blasts of blue fire. He turned and fired a second twin lotus blast, then another as Noiitora's blade slashed across his back. An arm wrapped around his waist, and he loosed a sigh of relief.

"Renji...I..." He stopped as he met Aizen Sousuke's amused eyes.

"Sorry to disappoint you," he said, smirking.

He landed well away from the marauding fighters, and Aizen shook his head and sighed.

"Is this what Urahara Kisuke thinks you want in a mate, Byakuya?" he asked, "I think you can do better than that."

"Ah," said the noble, "So you want me to escape their molestation just to have to endure yours..."

"Endure?" Aizen said, frowning, "Byakuya, you cut me to the core. How can you be so cruel? You know how I feel about you. You need only say the word and I will take you away from all of this."

Byakuya's expression saddened.

"What is it, Byakuya? You and I have gone on for years, pretending. I admit that I have fallen head over heels for you."

"I am aware of that," the noble said, reaching up to touch his face and accepting a gentle kiss, "But, you still wish to kill the king. And I am the king's defender."

"That does complicate things," said Aizen, "So perhaps I'll just abduct you again!"

He curled an arm around Byakuya's waist and flash stepped towards a garganta.

"S-sousuke! Sousuke, stop this!" Byakuya cried, "I am...I have to...Sousuke!"

"You again!" yelled Renji's voice, "Get your slimy hands off of him!"

The skeletal snake slammed into Aizen, sending both Byakuya and him crashing to the ground.

"S-sorry Taichou!" called Renji, sending another blast in Aizen's direction.

Byakuya picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off as the skeletal snake continued to assault the leader of the hollows. The noble started to speak to the redhead, to give him an earful for nearly killing him, but was distracted from it as the hubbub that Renji had created, drew the attention of the brawling fighters.

"Oh gods," moaned Byakuya, dodging a haze of incoming kido fire, then flash stepping clear of several slashing swords, "Not this again!"

"I have your back, Taichou," Renji assured him.

"Please do try not to impale me as you protect me," the noble said dryly.

"That's not nice," Renji chuckled, sending the skeletal snake after Byakuya's suitors.

He and Byakuya flash stepped away and found a quiet clearing within the forest. Byakuya turned to face the redhead. Renji studied him for a moment and shook his head.

"You need some healing," he commented, "Sit down and I'll take care of that."

Byakuya sat down and waited calmly as Renji looked him over, and began to heal the damage that the ruffian suitors had caused.

"You're a mess, Taichou," Renji commented, "You need to find a better way to get a husband. You're gonna get killed when if you keep this up!"

Byakuya met his eyes cautiously.

"I never wanted to do this in the first place," he explained, "I only accepted because it seemed to please his majesty."

Renji leaned closer, focusing his healing power on a deep gash in Byakuya's arm.

"I think after this, you might want to just tell him that you don't want a mate. This is too damned dangerous!"

Byakuya gave him the ghost of a smile.

"But...what if I actually do want to find someone?" he asked softly, "What if doing this has made me realize that...there is someone who..."

He broke off as the image of Renji flickered and began to disappear.

"Renji, don't leave," he said, reaching for the redhead.

"Sorry Taichou!" Renji called out as he began to disappear, "Signal's being disrupt..."

"Renji!" he called out again as his former fukutaichou disappeared.

Byakuya felt anger boil up inside him and raised his reiatsu. The air around him crackled with his power.

"Urahara-san, let me out of this place!" he demanded, "This is insane!

Kisuke's voice sounded, but Byakuya could not see him.

"Sorry Byakuya-san. Technical difficulties. I'll have you out in a few minutes."

"You will let me out now, or I will destroy this infernal trap!" Byakuya said, finally losing his temper, "The men in here are insane! How could you think for a moment that I would want _any _of them for a mate!"

He was taken off his feet in the midst of his next sentence by Shiba Kukaku, who knocked him down and nearly smothered him with her breasts again. And in that moment, the usually cool noble almost came unglued.

"KISUKE!" he roared in a voice that harkened back to his earlier, less refined days, "YOU BASTARD, LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

He was practically breathing fire as the group of crazed fighters encircled him and began to close in.

"Good going," said Kukaku, wryly, "I think you told them all exactly where to find us..."

"KISUKE!" Byakuya yelled again.

"All right, all right, don't bust anything!" the inventor said in an anxious tone.

Byakuya felt the tingling sensation and return to darkness that accompanied his return to the simulator. He burst out of the device, grabbed Kisuke by the front of his shirt and forced him back against the wall.

"I'll have no more of this! This is insane! Don't you dare put me in that contraption again!"

"Aww, don't be so angry," said Kisuke, "I promise. The next simulation will be much better. I don't know who let those guys all in there together. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"It had better not, or I _will_ kill you," Byakuya snapped, flash stepping away.

"Whew!" Kisuke said, watching him go, "He's quite a handful! No wonder he can't find a mate..."


	5. Dirty Old Men

**Chapter 5: Dirty Old Men**

Byakuya knelt solemnly at the soul king's feet, dressed in a lovely, formal kimono, and with his head dutifully bowed. The king observed him silently for a moment before speaking.

"You look troubled, Byakuya. I hadn't meant for my gift to you to become such a burden. But I see the signs of wear. This concerns me. Are you all right?"

"It is not your grace's gift that troubles me, my lord," Byakuya sighed, "but the man responsible for attempting to help me find it. Urahara Kisuke might be the most talented scientist in the known worlds, but he certainly has a way of complicating this. I wonder if he and the _Lady_ Shihoin aren't just having fun at my expense. And I wonder if there really is, not just someone who I can love, but who will love and desire me genuinely in return...without seeking to take over worlds, crossing uncomfortable familial lines, tying me up or just plain trying to kill me."

"Ah, it does sound as though those two have been having a bit of fun with you. But are you sure that there has been no one so far, either in this competition, or even in your life in the Seireitei that came near your ideal mate? Someone you were at ease with and...felt somewhat challenged by, someone beautiful and having proper depth?"

Byakuya winced inwardly as a mental image of Renji came to him. He swatted the thought away.

_Renji had so many chances to indicate that he was interested in me before, but...I don't know. I don't know if he didn't think that I was interested in him or if maybe I just made him feel as though he wasn't good enough._

The king smiled at his long silence.

"There is someone, isn't there?" he said quietly, "Was it, perhaps, a friend you did not look at closely enough before? Maybe someone you could have misunderstood?"

Byakuya's eyes clouded with regret.

"I think it was more than one thing. But it doesn't matter. That person is in the Seireitei and he is happy there. He has a place of honor, friends...an entire life that he has built. He said goodbye to me, and to any obligation he had to me when I came here."

"Hmmm," the king mused, taking Byakuya's hand in his and looking into his troubled eyes, "I am not sure how to advise you, but I would not give up all hope...for this person you left behind, or for the competition. Keep your friend in the Seireitei in mind and proceed as best you can. I am sure your confusion will clear and you will find the one you seek."

Byakuya swallowed hard and bowed respectfully.

"I am sure you are right, my lord."

He left the throne room and walked out into the gardens, his mind returning to his last interaction with Renji.

_He picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off as the skeletal snake continued to assault the leader of the hollows. The noble started to speak to the redhead, to give him an earful for nearly killing him, but was distracted from it as the hubbub that Renji had created, drew the attention of the brawling fighters._

_"Oh gods," moaned Byakuya, dodging a haze of incoming kido fire, then flash stepping clear of several slashing swords, "Not this again!"_

_"I have your back, Taichou," Renji assured him._

_"Please do try not to impale me as you protect me," the noble said dryly._

_"That's not nice," Renji chuckled, sending the skeletal snake after Byakuya's suitors._

_The two flash stepped away and found a quiet clearing within the forest. Byakuya turned to face the redhead. Renji studied him for a moment and shook his head._

_"You need some healing," he commented, "Sit down and I'll take care of that."_

_Byakuya sat down and waited calmly as Renji looked him over, and began to heal the damage that the ruffian suitors had caused._

_"You're a mess, Taichou," Renji commented, "You need to find a better way to get a husband. You're gonna get killed when if you keep this up!"_

_Byakuya met his eyes cautiously._

_"I never wanted to do this in the first place," he explained, "I only accepted because it seemed to please his majesty."_

_Renji leaned closer, focusing his healing power on a deep gash in Byakuya's arm._

_"I think after this, you might want to just tell him that you don't want a mate. This is too damned dangerous!"_

_Byakuya gave him the ghost of a smile._

_"But...what if I actually do want to find someone?" he asked softly, "What if doing this has made me realize that...there is someone who..."_

_He broke off as the image of Renji flickered and began to disappear._

_"Renji, don't leave," he said, reaching for the redhead._

_"Sorry Taichou!" Renji called out as he began to disappear, "Signal's being disrupt..."_

_"Renji!" he called out again as his former fukutaichou disappeared._

"It seems that something always gets in the way," Byakuya mused, "It was like that before in the Seireitei too. From the beginning, every time we tried to say anything telling or _do_ anything to..."

"Sir," said the voice of his attendant, interrupting his thoughts, "a message for you."

Byakuya accepted the hell butterfly and nodded for it to deliver its missive.

"Byakuya," said Yamamoto soutaichou's somber voice, "Ukitake taichou, Kyouraku taichou and I are visiting from the Seireitei and would very much like to meet you for lunch and perhaps a game of cards. We will be waiting in the high lord's lounge. We hope you can join us."

"That's a relief," Byakuya sighed, "Better than that other man's ridiculous shenanigans."

He walked back to the palace, then bathed and dressed quickly, including in his accessories the traditional fingerless gloves he always wore and the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu that had become more for special occasions. Nodding in farewell to his attendant, he made his way out of his room and through the hallways to the lovely high lord's lounge, an exclusive area reserved for those most closely tied to the king. To his surprise, the other three men were not in their military dress, but also in formal kimonos, and they were alone in the lounge.

He heard the close behind him and frowned questioningly.

"Ah, Byakuya, come and sit down with us," Yamamoto welcomed him.

"Yamamoto soutaichou, it is good to see you," he answered, joining the men at the low table and watching curiously as Kyouraku smiled at him and poured him a glass of fine sake.

"It is good to see you as well," the captain commander said cordially, "I will cut to the chase and just tell you in honesty why we are here."

Byakuya blinked in confusion.

"I thought this was a social call," he said, studying their faces.

"Not exactly," Kyouraku said, smirking.

"Oh?"

"Well," said Ukitake, "you see, we heard that you were seeking a mate."

"Oh...don't tell me that..." Byakuya began, starting to rise.

"Sit down!" Yamamoto said sternly.

Byakuya was surprised that his body still responded immediately to the man's order.

_Like not a day has passed since I left the Gotei 13 and came here, _he mused inwardly.

"Didn't your grandfather teach you better manners than that?" Yamamoto scolded him, "I am surprised at you!"

"M-my apologies for being rude, but..."

"You are allowing entries into the competition to date you and to see how you connect with them, are you not?"

"W-well, yes, but..."

"Urahara Kisuke's machine has broken down, but we were already here and could not reschedule our entry, so we are having our date with you here instead."

"Your...date with me?" Byakuya repeated, blushing at the glint that had come into the men's eyes, "But you are my mentors. It is not that I don't find you to be...attractive men, but I..."

"We did enter and were accepted," Kyouraku informed him, "so the least you can do is let us try to convince you. I assure you we will be better behaved than the last suitors you considered."

_Which is definitely not saying much._

"What are we going to do?" Byakuya asked warily, "You said you wanted to play cards?"

"We will play poker," Yamamoto said firmly.

"_Strip_ poker," Kyouraku added, his smirk deepening.

"Ah."

_I am actually good at poker, but what is worse, in this case? Losing and being naked in front of them or watching them all take off their clothes?_

"Don't be concerned that seeing us naked will burn your eyes, Kuchiki Byakuya," Yamamoto continued, "We have kept ourselves in good physical condition. I think you will not be disappointed."

"Of course not, Soutaichou," Byakuya answered, misgiving plain in his voice.

"But let us get started."

Byakuya watched closely as the cards were dealt, carefully masking any reaction as he realized his initial hand was exceedingly good. The other three men considered their cards and drew from the deck, then Byakuya discarded a single card and drew. The betting the first round was conservative, but he still collected more than a few of the colored chips to add to the ones he already possessed.

"You play with much the same style as your grandfather," the captain commander complimented him, surrendering his cloak and handing the deck to Kyouraku to start the next hand.

"Arigatou, Soutaichou," Byakuya said politely.

Then, an odd thought occurred to him.

"Eh, Soutaichou, you and my grandfather never...ah...played _this kind _of poker, ne?"

Yamamoto's enigmatic chuckle unsettled him and his hands were shaking as he picked up his dealt hand.

_This hand too is very good,_ he observed.

When the round ended, Kyouraku parted with his lovely flowered coat.

Play continued with Byakuya drawing excellent hands each time, until the three elder men were down to their underwear and Byakuya had yet to lose a single stitch of clothing. And not meaning to, he did study them out of the corner of one grey eye as they continued to play.

"I think we should make a confession," Ukitake said finally, stopping their play, "We were reluctant to do something bold like take off our clothes in front of you, Byakuya, so we played the card game to relax us."

Byakuya smiled.

"I did not think I was truly so fortunate," he confessed.

"But now that you have us all down to our undergarments, we have arrived at the next part of our game," Kyouraku added.

"The...next part?" Byakuya asked cautiously, "What do you mean?"

"Well," Ukitake went on, "we would like you to examine us each and choose one of us to take off his last garment and kiss you."

"You want me to choose between you?" the noble mused.

Then, he realized.

_They have all known me since I was born. They aren't really interested in me. It's a game. A competition between them._

He barely kept from rolling his eyes.

_Unforgivable..._

"Gentlemen," he said politely, moving from one to the next as they rose and turned, "I don't know how you expect me to do such a thing."

"Well," said Kyouraku, "one of us _must_ be more attractive than the others. Look closer."

"Oh, I have looked closely," Byakuya answered, his dark eyes softening slightly, "and all of you are marvelous specimens. Ukitake taichou," he said, approaching the thirteenth division taichou and almost smirking at the blush his closeness caused, "has the fairest skin."

He moved on to Kyouraku, pausing to admire his well toned physique.

"Kyouraku taichou the loveliest build," he commented appreciatively, barely holding back a chuckle at the notable hitch it caused in the man's breathing.

And Soutaichou," he went on, approaching the captain commander and moving slowly around him, "has a body that reads like one of the finest histories in our family's archive. One could, I think, become lost in it, if one was not careful."

"So, which one of us do you choose to kiss?" asked Ukitake, clearing his throat a bit anxiously.

"I will kiss each of you," Byakuya replied evenly, "After all, each of you was so impressive in body that I am stymied. Only in a kiss can I divine a winner."

He moved towards Ukitake, sliding the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu off and laying it aside, revealing the soft flesh of his throat that was nearly always concealed. But as he leaned forward to kiss the squad 13 taichou, Ukitake began to cough. His face flushed and he lost his composure, coughing repeatedly until an attendant appeared and led him away.

"I...hope he is all right," Byakuya said sedately.

_And that he never pulls something like this again..._

"I suppose you are next," he went on, approaching Kyouraku, "Will you please remove the rest of your clothes?"

"Ah..."

"Kyouraku taichou!" cried Nanao's voice from the doorway, "Sir, I am sorry to bother you, but it cannot wait!"

"What cannot wait?" Byakuya asked dulcetly, "It will be just a moment."

"Eh, no, I'd better go and see what has her up in arms. My apologies," he said, bowing and hastily escaping the room.

"Hmmm," Byakuya mused, "it seems that only you are left, Soutaichou. Do you still want to kiss me?"

"I do not think that would be advisable," the captain commander said solemnly.

"Oh? Why not?" Byakuya asked.

Soutaichou stripped his undergarment away and Byakuya's eyes widened as he took in the sight of the man's very prominent and flushed, glowing privates. And as soon as they were revealed, his whole body began to radiate with the same deep red glow.

"S-soutaichou?" the noble queried softly, staring in wonder.

"I can only be with one whose ability can counter this effect of Ryuujin Jakka," the elder shinigami explained, "I was fortunate that my late wife had an ice ability that was powerful enough that I did not incinerate her, as the effect intensifies when I am aroused. So, I don't think it would work out between us. I do, however, very much appreciate your assessment of my body. If I was 500 years younger, I might seek ways to...ah, but it's not meant to be."

It took Byakuya several moments to realize that he was still staring at the captain commander's ample, glowing privates.

"Are...you all right, Byakuya?" the other man asked in a concerned tone.

"Y-yes, I am fine. But I...have another engagement. Thank you for coming, Soutaichou. It was..._enlightening_."

"You are welcome, my boy. Now, off to find your true love."

"Yes, sir."

Byakuya swallowed hard and turned away, still envisioning the man's privates and almost stumbled as he retreated into the hallway. He walked back towards his room in a daze, barely cognizant of his surroundings.

_I don't know if I'll ever stop blushing, _he mused silently, shaking his head to try to make the image disappear.

So entrenched in his thoughts, he didn't see the other man who turned into the hallway and collided with him, causing both men to stumble and crash to the floor. Byakuya felt a flare of indignant anger, but felt it disappear and his mind go blank as he took in the other person's red hair and bold, black tattoos.

"R-renji?" he breathed, disbelievingly, "Renji, what are you doing here?"

"Taichou! S-sorry, Byakuya!" Renji exclaimed, helping him to his feet, then looking for a moment like he wanted to hug him, before opting instead to offer him a warm handshake, "I'm really, really sorry for crashing into you like that."

"It's fine, but...?"

"Oh yeah," the redhead chuckled, "I've been working with Kurotsuchi taichou..."

"That must be a pleasure," the noble said dryly.

"Yeah, right," Renji laughed, the sound warming Byakuya to the tips of his toes, "He and I have been trying to lock down Aizen's connection with the simulator that Kisuke was using. I was here to talk to Kisuke about things and I got asked to stay over for the next couple of days to get plans in place to keep further problems from happening. Aizen hasn't been molesting you anymore lately, has he?"

"M-molesting me? No. I haven't seen him since...that last time. But I haven't been in the simulator. I hope to avoid it at all costs, at this point, I think."

"Don't tell me you're going to give up on finding a husband," Renji objected.

"I thought you said it was dangerous."

"I was joking, Byakuya. Well, maybe half joking. I don't think you should be alone if you don't want to be. Maybe you just need to think of another way to..."

"Oh, Abarai-san!" Kisuke called out from down the hall, "I was looking for you."

"I was about to invite Renji to have tea," Byakuya asserted.

"Can I borrow him for just a minute?"

"I'll be right back, Taichou...erm, Byakuya," Renji promised, following Kisuke down the hall.

Byakuya watched them walk out of sight, then returned to his room and ordered the tea to be made. He waited quietly as the sun set and the tea cooled, his mood darkening as the hour grew later and he finally abandoned the tea altogether and flash stepped to the balcony, then down into the royal gardens. He knelt at the edge of the king's healing pool, wishing fervently that he could rid the three worlds of that one man who seemed to be single-handedly derailing his every chance to get Renji alone.

"What was I thinking?" he whispered, looking down into the rippling water and feeling an unbearable weight on his heart, "He had every chance to say something, to do something, and he never did. He doesn't love me and he never will. I have to accept that."

"Aww, c'mon," Renji's voice said, startling him as the redhead appeared in front of him, "You can't have an attitude like that. If you do, you'll never convince this guy to be with you. What you have to do is take the initiative...you know, like you told me when we were training."

"That was for _battle_, Abarai," Byakuya said dryly.

"It's the same thing," Renji said, stepping forward as Byakuya came to his feet.

He slipped an arm around the surprised noble and looked down into his eyes, smiling.

"Just grab him and give him a big, wet smooch and let nature do the rest!"

Byakuya wasn't sure what sort of fever flashed through him at the moment, but he suddenly leaned forward and crashed his lips into the redhead's, stunning Renji into silence. They stared at each other in the fading light, then Renji broke into a wide grin.

"Yeah, exactly!" he exclaimed, "Do that to him and there's no way he's _ever_ going to walk away!"

The redhead turned and disappeared back into the palace, leaving Byakuya staring after him. The noble's legs gave way and he dropped to his knees and put his face in his hands.

"It's hopeless," he groaned, "Completely hopeless..."


End file.

Bleach, Humor, Romance