Harry Potter Radical Red

**Radical Red**

**By**

**WhiteWolf**

**Response to: Crayola Colour Creations Challenge by Clever Ink Slinger**

**Prompt/Topic: Radical Red - Write about the radical differences between two friends.**

"**Lily and Moony's Excellent Adventure"**

* * *

**December 26****th**** 1994**

The mood in the staff room was quite dark that cold winter evening. The sparks flying off the burning wood in the hearth cast a reddish glow throughout the room that occupied the majority of the staff.

Remus leaned back in his chair, zoning out of the monotonous conversations that floated around. He'd had quite a long day, considering the full moon the night before, and his bones ached at the thought of staying at the meeting any longer than necessary.

They had gathered under Dumbledore's orders to re-ward Gryffindor tower after Black's latest break in attempt. That all changed the minute one Severus Snape began to belittle the quiet and humble boy that Remus had always considered as a member of his family.

"Despite his features, Harry's nothing like James, in my opinion." Remus said quietly. "Though he's not much like Lily either."

"He is absolutely _nothing_ like her." Snape sneered, his teeth gritted so hard that Remus was sure he could see hairline fractures appearing in the enamel.

"I think we all can attest to the fact that had Potter been born to act like his mother, the castle may not still be standing." Minerva chimed in.

"Oh yes!" Flitwick said happily, "Lily Evans was proof that wards can only protect a person so much. We're quite lucky that young Harry doesn't know enough about her to take up where his mother left off."

"Has no one told Harry about his mother?" Remus asked, suddenly confused and more than a little aggravated.

"He knows the basics." McGonagall bristled, "He has her eyes. He also knows that she was quite good in Charms and Potions. Lily's sister will have surely filled in the blanks for him."

"Lily's sister hated her more than anyone else." Remus countered.

His chair flying backward in his haste to escape the room, Snape hissed; "Well, if you're so concerned about it, why don't you tell Precious Potter about his mother?"

The door slammed shut, making the old werewolf wince in pain at the sound. "I think I'll do just that."

"Now be sure that whatever you say doesn't give the boy any ideas." Flitwick squeaked.

"Merlin knows he gets into enough trouble on his own." McGonagall sighed.

Alone in his dark quarters, Remus sat down and thought back to a time when he really began to feel like Lily Evans was his friend. Lily was loud and impulsive to Remus' quiet and observant. She was bold and bubbly while Remus was subtle and reserved. Lily was passionate and opinionated while Remus was logical and a well practiced peacemaker. Lily always took up for lost causes and Remus felt himself to be a lost cause.

* * *

**January 4th 1977**

It was the night before the full moon and Remus Lupin sat in the corner armchair next to the roaring fire in the Gryffindor common room trying his best to tune out the constant dull ache that permeated throughout his body. _By this time tomorrow night the pain will be so much worse. _The thought slipped through before he could stop it and he leaned his head back and stared at the ornate ceiling, disgusted by his own thoughts. No matter how hard he tried to keep the beast out of his mind, it always found a way to show it's face and prove that while he went to school with other youth his age, he would never truly fit in.

The sound of shoes shuffling against the hard stone floor brought him out of his revelry.

Lily Evans, prefect, brilliant student and love of his best friend's life, was skulking about the common room. She frequently looked over her shoulder and stared at the portrait hole as though waiting for something or someone.

"Everything okay, Lily?" he asked quietly, but loud enough to make her squeak in fright and jump straight into a side table sending them both toppling over and onto the floor.

"Oh, yes. I'm fine." She said, dusting off her robes. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." Remus replied, giving her a suspicious side-long stare, complete with raised eyebrow. "And you're bleeding."

"Bloody hell," Lily muttered, lifting her robes high enough that Remus got a very nice view of her stocking clad legs. "Oh well, nothing for it."

Lily grabbed a notebook from the same table and ripped a piece of paper out and patted it onto the wound, then tucked it into her stockings like a ruled paper bandage. "That should do it."

"That doesn't look very sanitary. I know a spell to heal minor wounds. I can teach it to you." Remus told her seriously. "Or you could always go to Madam Pomfrey."

"Not worried about it." She said distractedly, waving her hand as though to swat the idea away.

After another quick glance around the mostly empty room, Lily turned and gave Remus a very serious look. "I was never here. You did not see me."

Not knowing how to respond to such a statement, Remus just stared as Lily darted out of the portrait hole. Curiosity got the better of him, so ignoring the pain in his joints, Remus followed the red-haired witch.

He kept his distance from her, using his werewolf stealth to stay hidden in the shadows. But Remus was worried. They were in Slytherin territory now. The current political climate alone was enough to keep students from wandering too close to the snake's den.

_What on earth is she thinking? Has she resumed her friendship with Snape? Is she secretly meeting him on his own territory? _

He felt bad about sneaking around and following her, but he would never forgive himself if she ended up hurt. He'd keep his word and not tell anyone that he'd seen her, but he just couldn't let her go out after curfew alone.

Remus ducked into an alcove as Lily came to a sudden stop near the potions storeroom.

He poked his head around the corner to see Lily standing there picking the lock with two hairpins. Remus' eyebrows rose in surprise as he tried to think of a logical explanation of what he was seeing.

The lock clicked and Lily stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. Remus didn't want to leave her on her own, nor did he feel safe in the hidden alcove, and he mentally wished he had brought either Sirius or James for back up. The older Slytherins were well learned in the Dark Arts and Remus was unsure if he'd be able to protect both himself and Lily. Mustering his courage, Remus darted forward and entered the room.

Lily stood next to a shelf full of live creatures, her head bent down as she studied two red salamanders in a small glass jar. So engrossed in the slightly fluorescent reptiles, she didn't even realize that she wasn't alone until Remus loudly -and purposely- coughed.

"FUCK!" Lily screeched, throwing the jar into the air as one hand went for her wand and the other balled into a fist. She swung out, almost clocking her fellow prefect in the nose, before she registered just who she was fighting off.

The jar crashed to the ground before either student could say a word. Lily dropped to her hands and knees immediately in search of the lizards.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked, slightly irritated as he joined the search.

"Why did you follow me?" Lily retorted, giving Remus a suspicious glance. "Did Potter send you to spy on me?"

"No," Remus grunted as he crawled on the floor trying to reach underneath a shelf where he knew one of the little red lizards was hiding, "I'm not one of James' minions. I followed you because I was worried about you."

"So where are the rest of your dorm mates?" Lily asked, in what she hoped to be a nonchalant tone.

The other three Marauders were currently planning a prank on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team in preparation for the match the following day. Having already helped as much as possible, Remus had sought out the peace and quiet of the common room, hoping to relax before the full moon.

"Studying..." he lied unconvincingly. "What's the deal with the lizards?"

"I'm studying the effects of raw ingredients compared to those that have been altered in potions." She replied in a confident and slightly haughty tone. "These salamanders secrete a highly hallucinogenic fluid that is used in behavior modifying potions. I'm trying to determine if the fluid would be more potent in it's natural form."

Remus was clearly intrigued by her project, but before he could comment, loud footsteps were heard outside the storeroom.

"Slughorn!" Lily hissed, plucking the lizard off the floor. "Hide it quick!"

Remus watched in horror as Lily dropped the wiggling creature into her mouth and swallowed it, not only alive, but completely whole. There was no time to comment as Lily tackled her unsuspecting fellow prefect to the ground and proceeded to force his jaw open. He made a noise that to his own sensitive ears sounded like a dying cat.

The slimy reptile slid down his throat, making Remus want to gag. _God, kill me now. _

The door opened with a loud groan and Horace Slughorn looked down to see two sixth year Gryffindor prefects tangled up on the floor. He had been a professor long enough to know what was going on, but he still couldn't figure out why one of his best and brightest students would stoop as far as to be caught with the likes of Lupin.

_Merlin knows the boy's family had little to no money. Nor where they well known or highly thought of. Miss Evans could surely do better. _He thought to himself.

"Mr. Lupin, kindly return to your House." He set his face into a stern and protective look. "Miss Evans, follow me."

Remus wanted to say something in his defense but knew that he would be sick if he opened his mouth. He had already seen way too many salamanders than necessary for one evening. Dismayed to think that the normally neutral and jovial professor was angry with him, and rather embarrassed to be found in such a predicament, Remus put his head down and walked out of the room. Feeling slightly queasy, Remus went back to the small alcove off the main hall and slid down to the floor. He really wanted to return to the tower and sit in front of the nice warm fire, but he knew that he had to wait for Lily. He had already gotten in trouble for this little adventure, might as well make sure she got back to the tower in one piece.

He didn't know how long he waited after that, but knew that he had dozed off a few times before Lily rounded the corner and nearly tripped over him.

"Remy!" The redhead cried out. "I didn't see you there, ol' boy."

Remus quirked an eyebrow at her in suspicion. Was that alcohol he smelled? And _CHOCOLATE!_?

"Where is it?" he demanded, surging to his feet and patting down her robe pockets. "I know you have it."

"Huh?" Lily giggled as he continued to search her, then pulled a small pouch out of her cleavage and held it in the air. "Are you looking for this, my darling secret beaux?"

"If it's chocolate, then damn skippy I'm looking for it!" Remus replied with a hungry look in his eyes that set Lily's mental alarms on high alert.

Lily cautiously handed him the bag and he ripped it from her grasp and dug into it. She was surprised to find that he didn't even remove the paper wrapping from the candy, he was eating it, paper and all. She took out her notebook and pen and started to document her findings. Human subjects were so much more fun to study than rats. Taking her fellow prefect by the arm, Lily walked as casually as she could toward the room on the seventh floor that would turn into anything she wanted it to, all the while trying to remember the warnings the book had on the little lizards.

_Oh well, _she reassured herself, _can't be anything too bad. WAIT...FOOD!?_

Suddenly ravenous, Lily took a detour towards the great hall, only for Remus to pull her in another direction.

" 'itchens Fis Fay." He growled at her with a mouth full of melted chocolate.

The two seemed to reach the portrait of the bowl of fruit in record time. Remus, in his addle minded state, seemed to claw at the pear more than tickle it, causing the fruit to jump and the door to violently swing open, knocking an unsuspecting Lily into the wall.

Paying no mind to his female friend's rather precarious landing, Remus walked in and began ordering a massive feast from the house elves.

By the time Lily walked in, still rubbing her bruised shoulder -and ego-, the tiny elves had an impressive spread laid out at the end of one of the long counters. The two didn't wait for silverware, napkins, plates, or even chairs, as they started to dig into their late night snack with a gusto the elves rarely seen.

It was a long time later when the two rolled out of the kitchens. Remus remembered just how many elves it had taken to pry Lily away from the table. While being very proud that the red haired witch loved their cooking, they knew that if she stayed much longer there wouldn't be food left for the rest of the castle.

As they walked the deserted halls, Lily reached into the front of her jumper and pulled out a small bottle. A quick tap with her wand is all it took to transform it back into a large bottle of Ogden's Best Firewhiskey.

"Where on earth did you get that?" Remus slurred as he stumbled towards her.

Lily leaned in close to Remus as though she was telling the most secret of secrets, "Nicked it from ol' SluggyPoo."

Lily barely finished the sentence before she took off running down the corridor. Remus really didn't feel like running, but didn't want to be left behind. So he, of course, took off after her. The moment he was right behind her, she skidded to a halt and he ended up slamming into her, knocking her to the ground.

"Gods!" Remus yelped, untangling himself from her robes and helping her sit up, "Lily, are you okay?"

"I can feel it kicking!" She cried happily, grabbing his hand and placing it on her flat stomach, "Can't you feel him kicking?"

A pair of fifth year Hufflepuff prefects who were on patrol stopped at both the sight of the two older Gryffindors in this awkward position and at the curious meaning behind Lily's loudly exclaimed predicament.

"Well, you ate it alive! Of course you can feel it kicking!" Remus whispered in an irritated tone.

With wide eyes, the two Puffs turned tail and scurried as far away as they could go.

Pulling Lily to her feet, Remus took a moment to examine her for any injuries. Merlin knew what James would have done if he brought her back in less than perfect condition. Seeing that she was perfectly fine, Remus started leading her back in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. He felt oddly like a sheepdog trying to get a stray lamb back to it's pen. Well, after tonight, it felt more like he was leading a coyote towards the innocent little Gryffindor sheep.

Uncorking the bottle, Lily turned it up and took a few gulps before spitting and sputtering at the burning aftertaste.

"UGH!" She cried out. "That's horrid!"

She passed the open bottle to Remus who weighed the pros and cons of getting caught drinking during patrols. Considering what had happened just minutes earlier, Remus was starting to wonder whether he should even bother caring anymore. Glancing at his slightly insane companion, he turned up the bottle and took a large swallow.

"Why can't liquor taste like cherries instead of the underside of a dragon's ball sack?" She asked seriously, causing the liquor in Remus's throat to come shooting out of his nose.

He fell to his hands and knees choking and coughing. The burning pain in his nostrils causing his eyes to water heavily.

"Oh my!" Lily winced, conjuring a handkerchief and dabbing at his face. "Just take deep breaths, Remy. Deep deep breaths."

Remus tried to pull in a large lungful of air, but ended up falling helplessly onto his side as the burning intensified. Lily began to pat him on the back, making his stomach roll dangerously.

"Not helping, Lil." He gasped out.

"Sorry," She muttered, removing her hand from his back.

Remus took a moment to center himself and then moved into a sitting position. His head leaning against the wall, Remus turned to look at the red-haired girl that sat beside him studying her fingers.

"You okay?" She asked, not looking up.

"I'll be fine in a moment." He replied, only to hiccup loudly.

Lily giggled, then snorted, then began to choke on her own laughter. Unable to fathom the humor in the situation, Remus still let out a decidedly unmanly giggle of his own, that even to his own ears sounded like "TEE hee!"

"Did you...just say...titty?!" Lily wheezed out through her laughter. "TITTY!"

Remus gaped in horror before he too burst out in laughter again.

That's when things got weird.

* * *

Remus burst into his dorm room, the door bouncing off Wormtail's forehead, knocking the chubby boy onto his backside.

"I tried to eat your girlfriend, James!" Remus blurted out.

"Woah, Moony!" Sirius chortled, dropping the quaffle he was throwing, and toppling out of his bed, "I didn't know you were into that sort of thing. I mean I know that snuffling around the nether regions is typical in us canine's, but nibbling? That's new!"

"Not like that, Sirius!" Remus hissed at him, trying to burn the other boy with his glare alone.

_Laser eyes! Laser eyes! _Remus chanted in his mind.

"Don't look at me like that!" Sirius shouted vehemently, "You said it!"

Remus recalculated the pros and cons of revealing any of the information he had gathered over the night. He knew he should warn James about how off balance Lily was. Poor chap was always running around talking about his "Perfect Flower" and how Lily was the best thing since butterbeer. If he knew, oh, if he only knew.

But that would also be admitting to his part in the fiasco that the night had become. Remus didn't even want to try and mention the _nibbling_. Or maybe he should. He kind of deserved to be locked up for such behavior.

Rethinking his earlier plan of action, Remus turned on his heel and calmly left the dorm room. If anyone asked, he had spent the evening curled up in front of the fire, studying for his NEWTS.

There were no lizards. Or food. Or alcohol. Or nibbling. Or tickling. Yes, definitely no tickling. The giant squid did not try anything of a questionable nature that could damage a young mind. He certainly didn't see Hagrid naked and bathing in the lake. And most importantly, he never saw Lily Evans. Nope. Didn't happen.

* * *

Remus still cringed seventeen years later when he thought of that night. But it was also one of the best nights of his life. And one of the most disturbing. There were parts of the night that he even removed from his memories because they were so weird.

No, that would not be the story that he would tell Harry. The young boy really needed to hear good wholesome stories about his mother. Stories that will mold him into a good responsible adult. That would probably mean leaving out the story of Harry's birth. Oh, and the one with the mountain troll while Lily was on the rag.

"Severus was right," Remus concluded, "Petunia can take care of the story telling."

Remus slept soundly with the knowledge that Harry never had to know. Especially about the time Lily had try to improve the girls hormone potion and turned the whole Gryffindor population into transgender drag queens.

* * *

_**-o-**_

**The End**


End file.

Harry Potter, Friendship, Humor